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 Follies i Crimes 
 
 OF- 
 
 BIGAMY YOUNG 
 
 J*.1VI> 
 
 His Po-Lig, Divines. 
 
 By "WILL COOPER.' 
 
 CHICAGO: 
 
 XTnion Publishing Company 
 1874. 
 
"D ATTLING, T? OARING T^HYMES 
 
 Mormon Utah and Her Institutions. 
 
 Life among the Rocky Mountain Saints, the Land 
 OF Many Wives and Much Silver, 
 
 OR, 
 
 THE FOLLIES AND CRIMES 
 
 BIGAMY YODNG AND HIS PO-LIG. DIVINES. 
 
 By "WILL COOPER 
 
 r, &, ^Air>v/.v. :-^f%* 
 
 I . CHICAGO: 
 
 Union Publishing Company, 
 1874. 
 

 Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1873, 
 
 By E. S. DeGOLYER, 
 
 in the office of the Librarian of Congress at Washington, D. C. 
 

 vc^^ 
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 Preface, _---.. .7 
 
 Geographical Features of the Great Salt Lake 
 
 Basin, -..____ 9 
 
 The World that Creation has made, - - 13 
 
 The Great Basin, ------ 14 
 
 Utah and her Mines, - -. - - - 18 
 
 The Weber and its Echo, - - - - 23 
 
 Evanston, upon the Bear, - - - - 26 
 
 Dead Sea of America, - - - - 29 
 
 The Gull of Salt Lake, - . - . 33 
 
 American Fork Railway, Utah, - - - 35 
 
 Mormon Institutions, ----- 38 
 
 Oh ! Have you Been to Zion ? - - - 41 
 
 Brigham's Tithing Shop, - - _ _ 44 
 
 Zion's Huge Co-Op. ----- 54 
 
 The Mountain Meadow Massacre, - - 61 
 
 Law, or the Courts in Utah, - - - 80 
 
 Brigham and his Harem, - - - - 84 
 
 Brigham Young in the Pulpit, - - - 92 
 
 3 
 
rV CONTENTS. 
 
 Extract from a Sermon Delivered by Brigham 
 
 Young, -----_ 93 
 
 Sermon Delivered by Dr. Jeter Clinton, - - 96 
 
 Sermon Delivered by Bishop Wooley, - - 100 
 
 Brigham's Sermon, in rhyme, - - - - 105 
 
 Jeter and his Court, ----- 114 
 
 Li-ze versus Brigham Young, - - - 133 
 
 Amelia Gone,- ------ 136 
 
 Old Po-Lig. on His Last Legs, - - - 138 
 
The ancients tell a story, that in the long ago — 
 Ante-deluvian, or among the Pre-historics, for aught 
 I kno\y — there were two beautiful maidens, who 
 together went bathing in the waters of forgetful- 
 ness. That one of the maids stole away, and 
 arraj^ed herself in the garb of the other, and has | 
 ever since wandered in the vast, illimitable fields of 
 human credulity. The other maid, disdaining the 
 cast-off garments of her fellow-bather, has followed 
 her devious windings — in great distress. The one 
 is called Falsehood ; the other, Bare — naked — 
 Truth. 
 
 The history of modern Mormonism proves conclu- 
 sively \h'^\^ Falsehood has so far out-stripped Bare — 
 naked Truth, that the distressed maid is no where 
 in sight. From the Yankee, hazel-switched wizard 
 
8 PREFACE. 
 
 — Jo. Smith — in 1815, to the polygamous, hypocrit- 
 ical villain, Brigham Young, in 1873, Mormonism is 
 one huge mass of conglomerated lies. Falsehood 
 has worn Truth's livery so loosely and recklessly — 
 in fact, has worn it so thread-hare^ in this story of 
 Mormon^ that it is most astounding how the com- 
 monest understanding can fail to detect the Fraud. 
 Notwithstanding all of which, Mormonism, to-day, 
 claims a million adherents. 
 
 Brigham Young, at Salt Lake City, as Prophet, 
 Priest, and King of this monstrous Hierarch}^, stands 
 charged with all the crimes known on the calendar. 
 By seizing on the lowest and basest elements of 
 humanity, and by a quarter of a century's seclusion 
 in the depths of the Rocky Mountains, on the shores 
 of Great Salt Lake, — he has moulded and formed 
 
 I for his own purposes and uses, one of the most dia- 
 bolical '•^Treasons " against human progress and lib- 
 erty known in this nineteenth century. The Chicago 
 convention in 1860, that nominated Lincoln, declared 
 its purposes were to destroy those twin relicts of 
 Barbarism — Slavery and Polygamy. Slavery went 
 down in a sea of blood ; but Mormon — Polygamy 
 — with its hideous crimes, still rears its defiant head 
 in Jesuitical — Lisolence. How long this anomal}^ 
 of a Priestly despotism, will continue to exist in the 
 midst of The Great Republic, can be determined 
 only by forty millions of American Free Men. 
 
kmtSt m Mmm$n I 
 
 f?i^%' 
 
 GEOGEAPHICAL FEATURES OF THE GREAT SALT 
 LAKE BASIN. 
 
 The " Basin," into which the great unwashed 
 Mormon has thrown himself, has for its bottom 
 " Great Salt Lake," and numerous other small lakes, 
 at the mean altitude of near a mile above the level 
 of the sea — being almost twice the average height 
 of the Alleghany ranges. The lofty mountains that 
 enclose the Great Basin, and that are in the familiar 
 parlance of the country, called the " Rim " of the 
 Basin, arise in some places to 14,000 feet in height, 
 more than two miles above the level of the sea, and 
 more than a mile above the bottjom of Great Salt Lake, 
 the whole enclosing a country five hundred miles 
 long, from east to west, and four hundred miles wide 
 from North to South, all the waters of which fall 
 into Great Salt Lake, that has n® outlet to the sea. 
 More than half of the area is a barren waste — an 
 arid desert, extending from the head waters of Bear 
 
 9 
 
10 
 
 River, in western Wyoming, far into Nevada and 
 southeastern California. The eastern part of the 
 '' Rim" is the grand divide between Bear River and 
 Green River, which is one of the affluents of the 
 Colorado — emptpng its waters into the Pacific 
 through the Gulf of California. The north part of 
 the " Rim" are the lofty ranges of the Oregon system 
 in Idaho, while the western '-' Rim" is made up of the 
 Sierras in Nevada ; the south is a low, almost imper- 
 ceptible divide, between the great American desert, 
 and the v/aters of the great Colorado. 
 
 Nature appears to have made the Basin, her Grand 
 Work-shop, in which every form of her handiwork 
 and ingenuity has been presented. 
 
 Her Continents and. Islands, 
 
 Her Eivers, Lakes, and Plains, 
 Are like old Mother Earth 
 
 In miniature again. 
 
 Great Salt Lake is a veritable " Ocean." It is 
 about ninety miles long, with a mean width of about 
 forty , not deeper than forty feet in any part ; its 
 average depth will not exceed ten feet ; with a grand 
 circumference of three hundred miles. The saline, 
 or salt proportions of the waters, are as great as that 
 of the celebrated Dead Sea, of Sodom and Gomor- 
 rah notoriety, being about twenty-four per cent., or 
 one-fourth part. Its principal feeder, the River 
 Jordan — so named by the Mormons — is an outlet of 
 Utah Lake, a beautiful sheet of water, aptly termed 
 
EIIYMES, OX MORMON UTAH. 11 
 
 the " Gem of the Desert." Innumerable streams flow 
 into it from all sides, fed by the melting of the ever- 
 lasting snows ; that crown the lofty mountain peaks 
 in mid-summer brightness. 
 
 The Jordan, strikingly resembles its namesake of 
 the East, which is an outlet to the Sea of Galilee, as 
 our Jordan is to Utah Lake. Salt Lake is fed by 
 many other streams, principal among which are 
 Weber and Bear Rivers, that are of considerable 
 magnitude, coursing a country more than two hund- 
 red miles in extent, westwardly from the Eastern 
 " Rim," or Green River divide. 
 
 The Union Pacific R.R., after crossing the ''Rim" 
 or "grand divide" at Aspen Summit, Avith an altitude 
 of more than 7,000 feet — comes down Bear River wa- 
 ters to Echo — doAvn Echo to Weber — and thus reaches 
 Great Salt Lake ; having descended 3,000 feet in less 
 than a hundred miles; striking the lake, it keeps 
 along its northern and western shores till it mounts 
 the " Sierras " in Nevada. All the western shore, 
 for more than a hundred miles, is one vast mud, or ' 
 dust-flat of soda or alkali — not a blade of grass, not 
 a drop of water, not even a poor, miserable sage-bush, 
 to relieve the longing eyes of the weary traveler. 
 
 In the southern part of the " Basin " there are 
 some considerable streams of Avater, principal among 
 which is the Sevier, which, with all the rest, disappear 
 in deserts of sand and alkali, with here and there pleas- 
 
12 RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 ant oases, in a real, unmistakable desert. Mineral 
 springs of all kinds abound, while boiUng hot, and 
 ice cold water, can be seen issuing from the ground | 
 within a few feet of each other, and blending finally 
 into one stream. There is not a mountain in the 
 Great Basin that does not contain some kind of metal. 
 The silver mines are the most numerous and import- 
 ant, and are utterly inexhaustable for ages yet to 
 come. 
 
 The Mormons made their first settlement in the 
 Basin on the 24th of July, 1847, which is kept as 
 an anniversary day, more enthusiastically by them 
 than our memorable 4th. Settling near the south- 
 east corner of Great Salt Lake, at the western base 
 of the Wasatch range, they have built up what they 
 call the " City of Zion, amid the mountains of Zion,"* 
 on this side " Jordan " and the " Plains of Jordan," 
 wliich are west of the river. 
 
 Salt Lake City contains 25,000 people — four-fifths 
 Mormons. It is the residence of Brigham Young, 
 and here is built the Tabernacle of the Lord, and the 
 Temple of the Mormon New Jerusalem is in process 
 of erection. 
 
 * See Key. 
 
||Mif g^ m ^mmm ^Uk 
 
 THE WORLD. 
 
 'Tis a very strange world, this of ours, 
 And yet not so strange as it seems ; 
 
 In fact, for myself, I have often 
 
 Saw much stranger "ones" in my dreams. 
 
 This woifld has a form — 't is a circle ; 
 
 Those in my " dreams," they had none, 
 For when I have striven to shape them. 
 
 Into utter confusion they 'd run. 
 
 This world, that is hanging in ether, 
 
 Nucleatically formed as a pod. 
 Was found at the " dawn of Creation " 
 
 As round as the " Eye of its God.^' 
 
 So I thought I would take as a " sample " 
 The " World " that " Creation had made,' 
 
 And somewhat the " soul " to enlighten, 
 Around the " example " — a shade — .* 
 13 
 
 Sec Key. 
 
 I 
 
14 RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 "THE GREAT BASIN." 
 
 If you please, just imagine 
 A - Basin," 
 
 A great earthen bowl, 
 
 It would seem, 
 
 Ten thousand feet 
 
 ■ — To the bottom, 
 
 And a thousand miles round 
 
 — On the '^ Rim." 
 
 Fill it with w^ater 
 
 — And '' Boulders," 
 With sand here and there 
 
 And with " Lead." 
 Sprinkle it over 
 
 — With ^^ Silver." 
 And oxide it over 
 
 — With "Red.' 
 
 And then, very nearly 
 
 The middle, 
 Throw some coarse salt 
 
 — A mile d-eep — 
 So that your fresh 
 
 — Mountain water, 
 Will not stagnate and spoil. 
 
 But will keep. 
 
BHYMES, ON [MORMON UTAH. 15 
 
 On the Peaks, and the highest 
 
 — '' Of Ridges," 
 In mid-summer still leaves us 
 
 Some snow. 
 And down on the lake, 
 
 Every — evenmg, 
 And all round the " Rim," 
 
 — You may — blow. 
 
 Leave all the mountains 
 
 Bare — naked 
 But fill a few canyons 
 
 With Pine ; 
 While here and there, at 
 
 Hap-hazard, 
 You may drop, if you choose, 
 
 A good mine. 
 
 On the " Rim," and in some of 
 
 The valleys. 
 You may look for a little 
 
 Bunch grass. 
 The eternal, unending 
 
 Sage Bushes 
 Will do for the rest. 
 
 As you Pass. 
 
16 EHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 If you wish in the Summer 
 
 To travel, 
 Through the dust and through - 
 
 Alkali go. 
 But if you prefer it — 
 
 In Winter, 
 — Up to your eyes — 
 
 In the Snow ; * 
 
 Taking — I '11 say it 
 
 In Rhetoric, 
 The Dilemma — as sure — 
 
 As you 're Born, 
 You will wish before you 
 
 Get through it, 
 You had taken the other 
 
 " Spare horn." 
 
 But then I forgot, there s 
 
 The Mormons, 
 Brigham Young, and his latter 
 
 — Day thieves. 
 You may Cry ■ — or may — laugh 
 
 As it suits you. 
 As Brigham does, up — 
 
 In his sleeve. 
 
 ♦See Key. 
 
RHYMES, ON MOllMON UTAH. 17 
 
 Take it all in all, 
 
 As I saw it, 
 The Basin, and all 
 
 It contains. 
 Would be more like the 
 
 " Mountains of Zion," * 
 With some early and latter — 
 
 Day-rains. 
 
 * See Key. 
 
18 RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 UTAH AND HER MINES. 
 
 From our northern boundary line, 
 
 To that of Mexico ; 
 Along the Rocky Mountains, 
 
 Forever white with snow. 
 From the " skies of Ari-zone,*' 
 
 To the " bleak ones of Mon-tan," 
 A thousand miles of granite, 
 
 And what is called " hard-pan,' 
 
 Contain the kind of metals. 
 
 The " Silver and the Gold," 
 That down the " western waters '' 
 
 For ages have been rolled. 
 The Salt Lake — Utah basin. 
 
 In the middle — lies between. 
 In silver or galena 
 
 Turns out to be the '' Queen.' 
 
 From St. George, in the Southern, 
 To the extremest North, 
 
 These " rare and precious metals," 
 Are everywhere brought forth. 
 
 Nature always boundless, 
 * In her gifts to man, 
 
 In Utah overflowing, 
 
 Pours out her all in hand. 
 
RPIYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 19 
 
 Towering peaks and mountains, 
 
 Lift their heads on high ; 
 Until their dazzling summits, 
 
 Appear to meet the sky. 
 
 The purest crystal waters. 
 
 Dash down each " canyon glen ; '* 
 And fructify the valleys. 
 
 That are the homes of men. 
 There 're tiny sheets of water, 
 
 Like seas in miniature ; 
 While further down the " Basin," 
 
 You have an " ocean sure." 
 Its continents and islands. 
 
 Its rivers, lakes, and plains. 
 Are like old mother earth. 
 
 In miniature again. 
 
 Since when, in California, 
 
 The golden grains were found ; 
 Colorado and Nevada, 
 
 And all the West around ; 
 Away on Frazier River, 
 
 And doT\Ti in Mexico — 
 The plains of Arizona, 
 
 And up in Idaho ; 
 Montana and W3'oming, 
 
 And ^lountains of Big Horn ; 
 The miners passed through Utah — 
 
 Leaving it in scorn. 
 
•20 RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 But everything 's a circle, 
 
 And everything 's a " sphere ; " 
 
 They whirled around the magnet, 
 And pivoted down here. 
 
 " Cottonwood," and " Ophir," 
 " Tintic," and ''American Fork," 
 Are now well known in London, 
 As 'Frisco or New York. 
 
 On the " Oquirrah Ranges," 
 
 From Bingham to Camp Floyd's, 
 » All the '' mines and prospects" 
 
 Are understood at " Lloyd's." 
 
 The Emma and the Flag-staff, 
 And a hundred other mines, 
 
 Are all upon the " Stock Board," 
 Among the Upper Nines. 
 
 East and West Dry Canyons, 
 And even Parley's Park ; 
 
 With a gentle silver radiance. 
 Illuminates the dark. 
 
 While in the " Southern Star," 
 
 A brilliancy is seen ; 
 Which shows us what we are. 
 
 And what we miiT;'ht have been. 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 21 
 
 If the " New Jerusalem," 
 
 In verity and truth, 
 Of which we heard so often, 
 
 In the hey-day of our youth ; 
 Described by " John " of Patmos, 
 
 With streets of " solid gold," 
 Its waters " pure as crystal," 
 
 That through the city rolled ; 
 The gates of " shining silver," 
 
 All set with '' precious stones " — 
 One hundred and forty thousand " 
 
 Of Jewish " spirit homes." 
 
 I say, in truth, not fiction. 
 
 If such to earth were whirled, 
 The very place to '' squat her," * 
 
 Is in this " western world." 
 
 For, out from California, 
 
 Mon-tan — New Mexico, 
 Flow on the golden streamlets, 
 
 In a steady, endless flow. 
 
 Utah will furnish " silver," 
 
 And down in Ari-zone, 
 You '11 find all that you want 
 
 Of " planted precious stone." * 
 
 * See Key. 
 
22 RHYMES, ON MOKMON UTAH. 
 
 There 's diamonds there, and rubies, 
 
 Emeralds and topaz. 
 Or any kind of " dornicks," 
 y " Kentucky Arnold " has. * 
 
 And when the city 's planted, — 
 Not using " lime or paint," — 
 
 Send for " Profit Brigham," 
 He '11 be the " patron saint " 
 
 ♦SeeKejr. 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 23 
 
 THE WEBER AND ITS ECHO. 
 
 Pliotograph and lithograph, 
 
 Their praises lonc^ have rung, 
 The Weber, and its echo, 
 
 Are now on every tongue. 
 Weber — devil's slide — 
 
 And echo's "pulpit rock. 
 Are now on " every card 
 
 In every windowed shop. 
 
 Weber's fearful gorge, 
 
 And echo's castelled Hills, 
 Startle the tourist eye — 
 
 The artist bosom thrills ; 
 And whether the approach 
 
 Is by the West, or East — 
 " There is a flow of soul, 
 
 And reason has a feast." 
 
 Weber's roaring flood 
 
 And echo's seething stream. 
 In the long hereafter. 
 
 Will seem as but a dream : 
 A dream — not all a dream — 
 
 In which a mountain high 
 Cleft from top to bottom — 
 
 Shows a patch of sky. 
 
24 RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 Rocks in jutting mass — 
 
 Heave up to heaven strait — 
 While Stygian Waters boil 
 
 At Weber — " devil's gate " - 
 The boiling, raging flood. 
 
 Dashes here and there, 
 Against the solid mountain, 
 
 Foaming in despair. 
 
 Heaven far above, 
 
 And Hell beneath his feet, 
 The Rocky Mountain Mormon 
 
 His prayers may here repeat.* 
 But to the artist eye. 
 
 And to the human soul, 
 Inexpressibly beautiful 
 
 And grand the tale is told. 
 
 The dazzling peaks of snow 
 
 On far-off mountains wild, 
 By a soft and sunny glow 
 
 Are melted as a child . 
 
 They melt — but "passions hiss" 
 
 In tumult, tears and pain ; 
 A rough and tumble life, 
 
 Before they reach the plain. 
 
 * S«e Key. 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 26 
 
 Yet as they melt and run — 
 
 I mean both child and snow — 
 From their *' peaks of pride " 
 
 To '' humble plains " below, 
 They wear and tear in cliffs, 
 
 A deep and crooked road. 
 Such is the " law of life," 
 
 Says our '^ great loving God.^' 
 
26 RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 EVANSTON, UPON THE BEAR. 
 
 Should you ask me why I write this, 
 
 Why a village is my theme. 
 Why Bear River should delight me, 
 
 More than Weber's roaring stream. 
 
 I would answer, I would tell you, 
 
 I am on the edge of Utah, 
 Evanston — upon the U. P. — 
 
 Hear me therefore with some eclat. 
 
 Echo canyon 's just behind me, 
 
 While my " face of travel 's " east. 
 
 Twenty miles to " Aspen Summit, ' 
 On the " Rim " of this great base. 
 
 Hence, the Colorado waters. 
 
 Eastward, southward, run and tumble, 
 O er the cliffs and through the canyons. 
 
 For a thousand miles they rumble. 
 
 Hurry, skurry, dashing, plashing, 
 
 O'er the cataracts terrific. 
 Till at last in Arizona, 
 
 They become for once Pacific. 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 27 
 
 Three times over greater Alta, 
 
 Than '' Blue Ridge " of AUeghania,* 
 
 Twice Virginia's ^'-Hill of Thunder^'' 
 Is the " Rim " of Seperania. 
 
 In the plains of Evanstonia, 
 
 Higher than the Peaks of Otter^* 
 
 In a beauteous, verdant valley, 
 Sweetly rolls " Bear River water." 
 
 Gentle, undulating surface, — 
 All around yon grassy meadow, 
 
 Here, at last, the tourist misses, 
 
 That great, sombre, mountain shadow. 
 
 " Low, red bluffs," are to the northward, 
 Glomerated composition, — 
 Pebble — boulder — shell and fossil, — 
 Here once rolled an " ancient ocean.'''' 
 
 Seven thousand feet upheaveal, — 
 Nature's quiet, strong commotion. 
 
 Makes the '' Rim " of this G-reat Basin^ 
 What was once^ the sliore of ocean. 
 
 Here once grew in " sylvan masses,^^ 
 
 A gigantic forest — Flora — 
 Lofty-tangled-tropic mazes, — 
 
 Now made thirty feet of coal of ! 
 
 <^t»« Kiy. 
 
RHYIVIES ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 Inexhaustible for fuel, 
 
 Riches for the coming millions, 
 Countless riches, only numbered 
 
 By the highest " tens of trillions.''' 
 
 Standing in that " ancient forest," 
 On the '' margin of that ocean," 
 
 What a strange, mysterious feeling 
 Stirs the heart in deep devotion. 
 
 What a lesson here for mortals, 
 In the rapid coming ages. 
 
 There will still be greater changes, 
 Than recorded in these pages. 
 
 All men here, and here all women 
 Realize '•^The Declaration,^' — * 
 
 Free and equal in position — 
 Fourth of July — Education. 
 
 Nature, ceaseless, ever working. 
 In her " grandest laboratory," 
 
 Gives her creatures more of comfort, 
 And her ^'•Architect more glory ! " 
 
 See Key. 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 DEAD SEA OF AMERICA. 
 
 Sodom and Gomorrah, 
 
 Old cities of the phT-in, 
 As per ancient story. 
 
 Got a red-hot rain ; 
 So — where the cities stood 
 
 There's now an old dead sea, 
 Connected by a strait 
 
 With that of Galilee. 
 
 'Tis said the " vengeful stroke " 
 
 From powers up on high, 
 Was 'cause old " Sod. and Gom." 
 
 Would murder, steal, and lie. 
 That not content with one, 
 
 They had them many wives, 
 Living lustful — lewd. 
 
 Lecherous, leper — lives. 
 
 Pardon, if you please, 
 
 The aliterative line ; 
 The words are of the thought, 
 
 Pray do not think 'em mine. 
 I have not read the tale 
 
 For many long — long day. 
 So what I fail to tell 
 
 I leave for you to ^y.* 
 
 * See Key. 
 
 29 
 
30 KHYMES, ON MOKMON UTAH. 
 
 And if you do not speak, 
 
 We '11 have it understood, 
 That in old " Sod. and Gom." 
 
 Was very little good ; 
 So little, that but three 
 
 Of all that " mighty throng," 
 But what had done — or thought- 
 
 Of something very wrong. 
 
 I only speak of Three, 
 
 For Mrs. Lot, you know, 
 Left old '' Sod. and Gom." 
 
 Reluctantly, so slow. 
 Or perhaps so vicious, 
 
 Or curiously inclined, 
 That, like old mother ''Eve,'' 
 
 She forgot to mind. 
 
 The upshot of it was. 
 
 That when she " called a halt," 
 She turned into a " stone " 
 
 Of the saltiest kind of salt. 
 The balance of the "tale" 
 
 I beg to now defer. 
 Leaving it to Lot — 
 
 What to think of her.* 
 
 * See Key. 
 
RHYIVIES, ON MORMON UTAH. 31 
 
 Now, if the story told 
 
 Was to piously explain 
 What became of those 
 
 Bad cities of the plain ; 
 Or why a lake of salt 
 
 In those plains should be, 
 With no kind of a strait 
 
 Or outlet to the sea, 
 
 The Mormons are at fault, 
 
 Else in their " Sacred Book,"* 
 Mormon or Maroni, 
 
 Should have undertook 
 To explain just how 
 
 Our '' own Dead Sea'' was made 
 If another '' Sod. and Gom." 
 
 In salt water has been laid. 
 
 I merely speak of this 
 
 Because I notice well 
 That anything on earth, 
 
 In heaven, or in hell. 
 That can be made or used 
 
 As a religious proof. 
 Are gobbled by the Mormons 
 
 As words of God and truth.* 
 
 ^ ^ I Key. 
 
32 KHYI^IES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 In conclusion, I would say, 
 About old "Sod. and Gom." 
 
 If they were burnt and sunk 
 For being bad and wrong ; 
 
 If they were " salted down " 
 For murder, theft, and lies, 
 
 Living lustful, lewd. 
 
 Lecherous, leper — lives.* 
 
 What should be done with "owr" 
 
 ''New Sodom'' of the West, 
 That in every crime 
 
 Out-Sodom's all the rest. 
 Brigham's ''Salt Lake Zion,'' 
 
 His New Jerusale77i^ 
 And all his Po-lig Saints — 
 
 What must be done with them ?* 
 
 * See Key. 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 33 
 
 THE GULL OF SALT LAKE. 
 
 Around this strange asphaltic sea. 
 
 Perhaps three hundred leagues, or more, 
 
 As one may count the winding bays. 
 Along the ever-bending shore. 
 
 Myriads of black insects fly 
 
 Close on the margin of its line. 
 That darken all the Salt Lake Shore, 
 
 And lave their bodies in its brine. 
 
 They sport upon its crested surf. 
 
 In " great, black lines " across its foam, 
 
 To die, and make the ''gull his food,'' 
 
 That strangely makes the " lake his home,'' 
 
 The Mormons have a " legend tale," 
 
 That once, when swarms of crickets came, — 
 
 Grasshoppers — locusts — other plagues, — 
 Herein too numerous to name. 
 
 The prophet, Brigham, made a prayer. 
 To him who rules the smallest fly, — 
 
 To give relief, and give it quick. 
 
 Or all his saints would starve and die. 
 
 No sooner prayed than done it was, — 
 A band of gulls, with ''long red legs," 
 
 From far Pacific's ocean shore. 
 
 Forthwith eat up the Mormon plagues.* 
 
 ' Se^ Key. 
 
34 KHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 Yea, so intently gormandized, 
 Upon the dainty food, off hand, 
 
 That even " sea gull stomachs " turned, 
 And threw the contents o'er the land. 
 
 Then more like dogs than like sea gulls, 
 Returned and ate another fill ; 
 
 And thus and so, if you believe, 
 Old Brigham did the crickets kill. 
 
 From then till now the sea gull makes 
 His home upon the " great dead sea,"- 
 
 And none must dare the gull to hill — 
 This is the tale they told to me. 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 35 
 
 AMERICAN FORK RAILWAY - UTAH. 
 
 Can we pass — said Napoleon 
 
 The First, to his guide,— 
 O'er these Alpine heights 
 
 To Italia's side ? 
 You may pass — barely pass — 
 
 Said the guide to his " Chief;'' 
 Then let us '' set forward!'' 
 
 Brave words and so brief. 
 
 It is so, even so, 
 
 Then, now, and forever ; 
 Let us set forward 
 
 Now, and whenever 
 The soul asks to go — 
 
 Or hearts may aspire ; 
 Let us set forward — 
 
 FiU every desire. 
 Can a railway be made 
 
 Up American Fork ? 
 It can, said a "hero;" 
 
 " Then let us set forward." 
 Words as true of the '' man,'' 
 
 As he of the star, 
 That shone so resplendently 
 
 Brilliant in war. 
 
36 RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 Three hundred feet grade 
 
 To every mile ; — 
 The project might make 
 A lunatic smile. 
 *' Let us set forward " — 
 • The work was begun — 
 The mountain was " scaled," 
 And the railway is done / * 
 
 Leaving the beautiful Lake 
 
 And the plain, — 
 Rippling in silver, 
 
 And golden with grain ; 
 You start up the canyon. 
 
 Your leisure to while, — 
 Mounting grade three hundred 
 
 Feet to the mile. 
 
 Zig-zag and crosswise, 
 
 Sharp curve and point ; 
 You look with dehght. 
 
 And tremble in joint. 
 A wall perpendicular, — 
 
 Thousands in height. 
 For a moment shuts out 
 
 The Heavens from sight. 
 
 *See Key. 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 37 
 
 A mountain is cleft 
 
 From the top, clean asunder ; 
 The train passes through, 
 
 And you — lost in wonder — 
 Gaze at the chaos 
 
 '' Of a past^ former world; "* 
 While the engine higher 
 
 And higher is whirled. 
 
 Onward and upward. 
 
 Higher and higher. 
 The engine hilarious^ 
 
 Is throwing its fire, 
 Into the clouds that 
 
 Envelope the mountain ; 
 Stopping for water 
 
 At a cavernous fountain. 
 
 Talk of the Alps ! 
 
 And far Himalay ! 
 And of all the scenery 
 
 So far away. 
 The " Wasatch Ranges," 
 
 Are grander by far, 
 When seen from the 
 
 American '-'• Railmay Car,^^ 
 
 See Key. 
 
38 RHYJVIES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 MORMON INSTITUTIONS. 
 
 Joseph Smitli, the founder of Mormonism, was 
 born December 23, 1805, at Sharon, Windsor County, 
 Vermont. His parents, Joseph Smith, Sr., and Lucy 
 Mack-Smith, belonged to the lowest grade of society, 
 and by the testimony of all their neighbors, were 
 illiterate and superstitious, as well as indolent and 
 unreliable. They could believe in the supernatural 
 as easy as the natural, for they were as ignorant of 
 one as the other. 
 
 These qualities seemed to descend upon the son 
 by "ordinary generation," but at an early age he 
 showed that he far excelled all the rest of the family 
 in a peculiar low cunning, and a certain faculty of 
 invention, which enabled him to have a story ready 
 for any emergency. 
 
 Joe's witch-hazel divination, his Peep-stone reve- 
 lations, were sure precursors of The Great Impostor. 
 His stealing the Spalding " Manuscript Found," and 
 the invention of golden plates, or Golden Bible, were 
 only proofs of a larger and better developed first- 
 
RHYMES, OX MORMON UTAFf. 39 
 
 class Thief and Liar.* His manipulation of Harris, 
 by which he procured " material aid " in his grand 
 charlatanism, shows a cunning knavery, that, had he 
 been educated, would have placed him among the 
 leading successful, corrupt politicians of any age. 
 
 In passing through the various forms of his knav- 
 ery, it is curious to observe how much less prudent 
 he was, when success and riches had crowned his 
 efforts. At Nauvoo — as Lieut. -General command- 
 ing a legion — he determined on a course of univer- 
 sal licentiousness, and by a revelation from God,* 
 declared the time had come, when seven women 
 should lay hold upon one man ; that on this princi- 
 ple, and this only, could the women be saved ; where- 
 upon, inventing the ordinance of sealing, prostitution 
 was made a religious rite. 
 
 Smith's arrogance, his licentiousness, and political 
 perfidy, produced him martyrdom at Carthage — * 
 Jail. Brigham Young, as the close successor of Jo. 
 Smith, has completely carried out his programme. 
 All Smith could have hoped for, has been achieved 
 by Brigham. His move into the Great Basin was a 
 master-stroke. Salt Lake City, or the City of Zion, 
 is to-day the Queen of Utah, as Brigham is its 
 Prophet, Priest, and King. The wildest imaginings 
 of the quandom Joe, never realized the wealth and 
 grandeur, the magnificence of the latter-day Prophet. 
 What has done all this ? Wholesale murder and 
 
 ♦See Key. 
 
40 RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 robbery ; a general system of Tithing, or taking the 
 one-tenth of everything ; a perpetual emigration 
 fund; and lastly, — though by no means least, — 
 Zion's Cooperative Mercantile Institution, by which 
 the Mormon business community, in the name of 
 Holiness to the Lord, are consolidated in the one 
 directing head of Brigham Young, Chief of the 
 Hierarchy.* 
 
 * See Key. 
 
RHYMES, ON MOKMON UTAH. 41 
 
 OH! HAVE YOU BEEN TO ZION? 
 
 Oh, have you been to Zion ? 
 
 Oh, have you felt the breeze 
 Across the Salt Lake water 
 
 Of the strange Asphaltic Sea ? 
 
 Oh, have you been to Zion? 
 
 Oh, have you felt the breeze ? 
 Or, have you seen old Brigham 
 
 With his babies on his knees ? 
 
 Say, have you seen his " Harem" '^ 
 His eighteen concubines ?* 
 
 Oh, have you been to Utah, 
 Or ever seen her Mines ? 
 
 Oh, have you been to Zion, 
 
 And " done " her Salt Lake town. 
 
 And saw the Mormons " toady"? * 
 Oh, do n't they do it brown ? 
 
 Oh, did you see the " Mayor," 
 The bottle-nosed giraffe ? 
 
 His military title 
 
 Would surely make you laugh. 
 
42 KHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 Oh, did you see the " Temple " ? 
 
 The Tabernacle, too ? 
 The '' secrets " of endowment, 
 
 And what therein they do ?* 
 
 Oh, did you see Young Brigham, 
 His bowels round and fat. 
 
 Who cut a shine in London 
 On the name of his old Pap ?* 
 
 Oh, did you see " old Jeter" ? 
 
 He of the City Hall ? 
 Or did you see Brig-Hampton, 
 
 So slim, and thin, and tall. 
 
 Oh, did you see " Co-Op. ? " * 
 Its staring bull-eye sign ? 
 
 Zion's mercantile shop, 
 And holiness divine. 
 
 Oh, did you pay your " tithing," 
 Or will you never pay ? 
 
 If so, you 're not a Mormon, 
 Nor a saint this latter day. 
 
 Oh, have you been to Zion, 
 Or ever saw a saint ? 
 
 The beauties of a Mormon, 
 No artist pen can paint. 
 
 * See Key. 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 43 
 
 Oh, have you been to Zioii ? 
 
 Or did you ever stay 
 At " Townsend's " or at " Walker's,"^ 
 
 Go off and never pay ? 
 
 Oh, have you been to Zion ? 
 
 If not, then stay away. 
 If you 're a wicked Gentile, 
 
 Come here some other day.* 
 
 If you 've never been to Zion, 
 
 Come here some other day. 
 When the saints have " shut up shop," 
 
 And gone and run away. 
 
 If you 've never been to Zion, 
 
 Come here some future day, 
 When all the saints have gone 
 
 To Ari-zo-ni-a.* 
 
 See Key. / 
 
44 RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 BRIGHAM'S "TITHING SHOP/^ 
 
 Say, have you paid your tithing, 
 
 Or do you niean to pay ? 
 Is pertinent — or impertinent — 
 
 In Utah every day. 
 If you have paid your tithing 
 
 There 's not another word, 
 For you are hun-ki-do-ri 
 
 In the " Temple of the Lord."* 
 
 No matter what you are, 
 
 Or what you may have been, 
 If you have paid your tithing 
 
 It covers every sin. 
 No matter what they call you, 
 
 Gentile, or Mormon Saint, 
 Dear Brother ! or Apostate I 
 
 So you have paid your rent.* 
 
 If a Mormon Saint jou are. 
 
 Or go by Mormon word. 
 One tenth of all you have 
 
 Must be given to the "Lord." 
 One-tenth of all you raise. 
 
 One-tenth of all you earn. 
 One-tenth of all you make. 
 
 Must be put in your return. 
 
 *See Key. 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 45 
 
 One-tenth of all your cash, 
 
 One-tenth of all your wheat, 
 One-tenth of every cent. 
 
 From Gentiles you may cheat. 
 
 One-tenth of all your stock, 
 
 One-tenth of the increase, 
 Must be given up to Brigham, 
 
 If you want any peace. 
 One-tenth of every egg, 
 
 One-tenth of every hen, 
 Must be given to the '' Church," 
 
 Or her appointed men. 
 One-tenth of all your fruit, 
 
 One-tentli of labor, too ; 
 One-tenth of everything, 
 
 No matter what you do.* 
 
 In every town or ville, 
 
 Wherever I have been 
 In all this Utah land 
 
 There is a tithing pen. 
 There is a tithing yard 
 
 For all the hay and straw, 
 As well as many things 
 
 The like you never saw.* 
 
 «? See Key. 
 
46 EHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 There is a tithing barn 
 
 And tithing corn-cribs, too ; 
 
 There is a cider press, 
 
 Fixed with a tithing screw.* 
 
 The Bishop of the town, 
 
 His deputy, likewise, 
 Keep up a sharp lookout 
 
 With the sharpest kind of eyes. 
 A registry is kept 
 
 Of everything you wear, 
 And everything is spotted 
 
 To the fraction of a hair.* 
 
 You can 't go out or in 
 
 Or move around about, 
 But what these " Paul Pry Saints " 
 
 Are sure to find you out. 
 Such Puritanic rules — 
 
 Such Connecticut " blue laws,^' — 
 And if they find you "short," 
 
 May God then help your cause. 
 
 If you could only see 
 
 As I have seen, en masse, 
 
 These poor, down trodden toilers, 
 Bringing in their grass, 
 
 • See Key. 
 
KHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 47 
 
 Like dog-hair, thin and spare, 
 Cut from the swamps around. 
 
 Giving to these church thieves 
 The tenth of every pound.* 
 
 With clothing, scarce enough 
 
 To cover all their back. 
 You would curse, as I have done, 
 
 The infernal thieving pack, 
 The Bishops, Elders, Priests, 
 
 And still to be more brief. 
 From the meanest to old Brigham, 
 
 Who is the biggest thief.* 
 
 In those two hundred towns 
 
 That Brigham made his boast, 
 He himself had " planted " 
 
 In all this western coast ; — 
 There are ten thousand thieves, — 
 
 Church cormorants at w^ill, — 
 That suck the people's blood, — 
 
 That leech, but do not kill. 
 
 They only suck them dry ; 
 
 To kill 'em would not pay ; 
 They barely let 'em live 
 
 To leech another day. 
 
 * See Key. 
 
48 RHYMES, ON MOEMON UTAH. 
 
 Such is the " Church of Christ," 
 Of " our day " latter saints. 
 
 The Rhymes I here indite, 
 Their crimes but feebly paint. 
 
 You 've heard how much old Brigham, 
 
 Is said to have in cash, 
 Some " six or seven millions," — 
 
 Wrote with uncertain dash ; 
 His farms, and barns and buildings, 
 
 And squares in every town, — 
 And ranches without number, 
 
 That 's scattered all around. 
 
 His banks and railroad stock, 
 
 And Zion's huge Co-Op. — 
 In all these institutions. 
 
 Old Brigham is the prop. 
 Besides his bonds of mortgage, 
 
 That cover all the land. 
 Would " oust " in legal parlance, 
 
 All at his command.* 
 
 A score of years in tithing. 
 
 And a kind of, sort of " Fund/' 
 
 Called by the simple-hearted, 
 The emigration one ; 
 
 See Key. 
 
KHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 4^ 
 
 Is a very simple key, 
 
 By which old Biigham's tune 
 Can be sung and understood, 
 
 By the simplest Gentile loon ; 
 But the saints can never sing, 
 
 They dare not sound the key ; 
 Its echoes and re-echoes 
 
 Would reach across the sea. 
 
 It is well known to Mormons, 
 
 Conceded true by all. 
 The cost of emigration 
 
 On emigrants must fall. 
 That is to say, when Mormons 
 
 Arrive in Zion's town. 
 The cost of emigration 
 
 Against them is set down.* 
 
 It is a rule of Brigham's, 
 
 Well known to every grade. 
 That first, on Mormon honor, 
 
 Their passage must be paid. 
 Their tithing comes right after 
 
 As soon as they can earn 
 Anything in Utah, 
 
 From which to make return.* 
 
 * See Kc'V. 
 
60 RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 Now every '' ]\ionnon Saint " 
 
 That ever I have heard, 
 Says, what he gives to emigrants 
 
 He never hears a word ; 
 Not a single cent 's returned 
 
 Of what was given first ; ^■ 
 Yet the emigrants must pay ; — 
 
 When will this '' bubble burst ? "* 
 
 The prophet in his answer 
 
 To the Herald of New York, 
 Thus speaks about himself, 
 
 And his great Mormon work : - 
 Some say that I have money 
 
 In Bank at London town ; 
 Allow me to assure you 
 
 That this is naught but sound. 
 
 If I had funds in England, 
 
 Or Europe anywhere, 
 There 's fifty thousand Mormons 
 
 I 'd soon bring over here. 
 " M}^ funds " are all invested 
 
 In Bank and railroad stock — 
 In " our internal matters," 
 
 And Zion's huge Co-Op.* 
 
 *Sec Kev. 
 
iihymp:s, on ^mormon utah. 61 
 
 Now Brigham, in tlie name 
 
 Of all the saints of God ; 
 You sly prevaricator ! 
 
 I '11 take you at your word. 
 
 Where, oh, tell me where 
 
 Has gone the tithing cash ? 
 And Emigration Fund, 
 
 Has it all gone to smash ?* 
 
 " Your funds " are all invested 
 In Utah, so you say, 
 And so my cute old Yankee, 
 You know best what will pay. 
 
 The money that for years 
 
 Has been poured in like rain, 
 If now sent over water, 
 
 Might ne'er come back again. 
 
 You are stricken now in years, 
 And do n't look very strong ;* 
 
 To send away the money 
 Would certainly be wrong. 
 
 You 're blest with many wives, 
 
 And many children, too ; 
 What a blessed thing for them. 
 
 You know just what to do.* 
 
 ' See Key. 
 
52 RHYMES, ON MOEMON UTAH. 
 
 Invest your " funds " in Utah, 
 
 And Ari-zo-ni-a — * 
 The Profit is a wise one. 
 
 And knows just what will pay. 
 
 But Where's the Church of Christ ? 
 
 Her money — where, oh, where ? 
 Will you leave the 50,000 
 
 In Europe to despair ? 
 Where's the hundreds — thousands- 
 
 Of poor demented men 
 Who paid you the '' tithing" 
 
 And emigf-ration fund ? 
 Who gave it to the Lord, 
 
 In trust, with Brigham Young ; 
 The news of '-'•your investments^''''^ 
 
 Their honest hearts have rung. 
 
 Why do n't you take tlie money ? 
 
 The bank and railroad stock. 
 And all of your '' investments," 
 
 In Zion's huge Co-Op. ? 
 Your farms, and barns, and buildings, 
 
 And squares in CA^ery town, 
 Your mortgages and bonds, 
 
 And do this thing up brown ?* 
 
 • Beo Kej. 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 53 
 
 Go sell now what you have, 
 
 And give unto the poor. 
 Send for the 50,000, 
 
 And your reward is sure. 
 
 If not, dear Brother Brigham, 
 
 It will not be so well. 
 For Jesus, He of Nazareth, 
 
 Thinks your chances are for H — 11 
 
 I give His very w^ords, 
 
 For fear you may dispute, 
 And some of your disciples 
 
 Be calling me a brute. 
 
 How hardly shall the rich 
 
 E'er enter Heaven's gate ; 
 They must sell out and give 
 
 Or in H — 11 forever Avait. 
 
 It would be easier far, 
 
 That an Arab camel fly. 
 With all his " liumpty dumpty," 
 
 Right through a needle's eye.* 
 Than that old Brigham Young 
 
 To Heaven e'er should go. 
 Who has such " grand investments '' 
 
 In Utah here below. 
 
 See Key. 
 
64 RHYMES, ON MOPwMON UTAH. 
 
 "ZION'S HUGE CO-OP." 
 
 Oh, have 3^ou seen Co-Op. — 
 
 Its staring bull-eye sign ; 
 Zion's mercantile shop, — 
 
 And holiness divine ? 
 Such were the rhyming words, 
 
 In the preface of my song ; 
 I now propose to show, 
 
 To whom Co-Ops. belong. 
 
 The church of Jesus Christ, 
 
 Of " our day latter saints," 
 Headed by Brigham Young, 
 
 All kinds of plans invent. 
 By which the '' clanish serfs," — 
 
 The " Mormon devotees," 
 Can be cajoled or forced. 
 
 To pay the " church her fees." 
 
 Hence, when the '' tithing plan,"' 
 
 And " emigration fund," 
 With every kind of " sham," 
 
 They thought of under sun 
 Settlements in Utah, 
 
 And up in Idaho, 
 In the Sandwich Islands, 
 
 And down in Mexico. 
 
 ^ See Key. 
 
RHYMES, ON MOKMON UTAH. 65 
 
 Missionaries started 
 
 To all the world around ; 
 To be erected " temples,"* 
 
 On consecrated ground. 
 Hot springs, and soda, 
 
 Stole from Uncle Sam ; 
 Mormon cities founded 
 
 On Brigham Junior's plan.* 
 
 I say when all these " schemes," 
 
 Got up by " priestly lies," 
 Had robbed the people well, 
 
 Blindfolding all their eyes. 
 A cunning " thing " was thought, 
 
 The Mormon " fraud " to prop,- 
 Holiness to God — 
 
 And Zion's huge Co-Op.* 
 
 If you should ever go 
 
 Into Salt Lake town, 
 And take it in your head 
 
 To walk it up and down. 
 Stuck up most everywhere. 
 
 You '11 see a curious sign,- 
 Zion's mercantile shop, 
 
 And holiness divine.* 
 
 See Key, 
 
56 BHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 An open bull-eye stares 
 
 Each Gentile in the face, 
 As much as though to say, 
 
 Dear sir ! you 're out of place. 
 It is Zion's huge Co-Oij. — 
 
 Erative Institute, 
 " Brigham's mercantile shop ^ '' 
 
 You see the Profit 's cute.* 
 
 " Holiness to God ! " 
 
 In place is very well. 
 And more especiall}^ 
 
 Where everything 's to sell. 
 Holiness to God ! 
 
 What is the price of that ? 
 I do n't mean holiness. 
 
 But that white beaver hat.* 
 
 Holiness to God ! 
 
 Pray tell me what 's the price ? 
 Not of holiness to God, 
 
 But of those goods — so nice. 
 Holiness to God ! 
 
 Pray tell me, if you can. 
 Is holiness for sale ? 
 
 Oh, no, you gentile man.* 
 
 See Key. 
 
RHYMES, ON MOllMON UTAH. 57 
 
 Holiness to God . 
 
 How goes the "Trade " to-day? 
 Sales are very ready, 
 
 But " hard-up " in the pay. 
 Holiness to God ! 
 
 Notions soon may fall. 
 If Jesus, He of Nazareth, 
 
 Should give Co-Op. a call.* 
 
 Holiness to God ! 
 
 His house was one of prayer, 
 But now, a " den of thieves " 
 
 Are quartered over there ; 
 Buying and selling doves. 
 
 To make them " many wives;"* 
 Cursed, lecherous thieves, 
 
 Get out, and save your lives. 
 
 Holiness to God ! 
 
 Go on ye saintly throng. 
 Holiness to God ! 
 
 Sell him right or wrong. 
 Judas — I, the traitor! 
 
 For thirty pieces down. 
 Sold his Lord and Master, 
 
 In old Jerusalem town. 
 
 See Key. 
 
58 RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 Holiness to God ! 
 
 The "Judas" of to-day 
 Sells Ills Lord and Master, 
 
 Whenever it will pay ; 
 Invests his " bribe " in bonds, 
 
 In bank, and railroad stock, 
 In Utah " silver mines," 
 
 And Zion's huge Co-Op.* 
 
 Two or three million funds, 
 
 Of which the poor were robbed, 
 
 With " credits " in New York, 
 Is how the " Thing " is jobbed. 
 
 The " credit " very like 
 
 The wild-cat-banks were run, 
 "Ten," in circulation, U23on deposit, "o»^" 
 
 A curious " Thing," is this, 
 
 The Poor, in Utah, robbed. 
 While away in New York, 
 
 The Rich are only jobbed. 
 Holiness to God ! 
 
 Oh, what a blessed " Thing," 
 Betwixt New York and Zion, 
 
 To have just such a string. 
 The saints are holding on, 
 
 Pulling either way ; 
 From Zion, or New York, 
 
 The " Thing " is bound to pay.* 
 
 * See Key. 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 59 
 
 Last winter, when a '' Bill " 
 
 Was passed in Washington, 
 By "grave and reverend sages," 
 
 Who done it all in fun, 
 Some one, out in Utah, 
 
 And some " one," from New York, 
 '' Saw " the " House Committee," 
 
 And had a solid talk.* 
 
 Said pious " daddy Hooper," 
 
 If you should pass this Bill, 
 To all " our friends in York " 
 
 It will prove a bitter pill. 
 Zion's huge Co-Op. 
 
 Owes some millions there, 
 And many eastern credits. 
 
 Scattered everywhere * 
 
 Customers, no better 
 
 Than Mormon saints, have they, 
 Polygamists, or not, 
 
 The " trade " Avith Utah pays. 
 Besides, if you so wildly. 
 
 Go and pass this bill, 
 And kill off us Po-ligs, 
 
 And all our credit kill ; 
 
 See Key. 
 
60 KHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 Where, oh, tell me where 
 
 Are the payments all to come ? 
 
 Or how can we poor saints 
 Raise such a monster sum ? 
 
 Whereupon, and after, 
 
 Old Gotham " rose and read," 
 
 Confirming just precisely, 
 What Brother Hooper said. 
 
 Committee then arose — 
 "Agents " may call again, 
 
 We '11 think upon this matter, 
 And you can " see us then.''* 
 
 Suffice it here to say. 
 
 Committee all were " seen^'' 
 And everything remains 
 
 Just as it 's always been. 
 Zion's huge Co-Op., 
 
 With Brigham's " bonds and stock," 
 " Coppered the House Committee," 
 
 When backed up by New York.* 
 
 * See Key. 
 
KIIYMES, OX MOrwMON UTAH. 61 
 
 THE MOUNTAIN MEADOW MASSACRE. 
 
 Beadle, in his work on the " Mysteries and Crimes 
 of Mormonism," says : 
 
 " About the same time, Brigham Young, preaching 
 in the Tabernacle, stated that hitherto as Governor 
 and Indian Agent he 'had protected emigrants pass- 
 ing through the territory, but now he would turn 
 the Indians loose upon them.' This hint was as good | 
 as a letter of marque to the land pirates of southern 
 Utah, and was not long in being acted upon. Early 
 in August, 1857, and before the excitement had 
 reached its greatest height, a large train, on its way 
 to California, reached Salt Lake City. Doctor Brewer, 
 of the United States Army, who saw this train last at 
 O'Fallon's Bluff on the Platte, the 11th of June pre- 
 ceding, describes it as ' probably the finest train that 
 had ever crossed the plains. There seemed to be 
 forty heads of families, many women, some unmar- 
 ried, and many children. They had three carriages ; 
 one very fine, in which ladies rode and to wliich lie 
 made several visits as he journeyed with them. 
 There was something peculiar in the construction of 
 
62 KHYIVIES, ON MORMOX UTAH. 
 
 the carriage, its ornaments, the bhazoned stag's head 
 upon the panels, etc.' This carriage was many years 
 afterwards in the possession of the Mormons. 
 
 " In Salt Lake City several disaffected Mormons 
 joined the train, and all proceeded by the southern 
 route. The train was last seen entire by Jacob Ham- 
 lin, Indian sub-agent for the Pah-Utes, who lived at 
 the upper end of the Mountain Meadow. He met 
 them at Corn Creek, eight miles south of Fillmore, 
 while on his way to Salt Lake City. Thenceforward 
 no more was heard of the train ; it was ' lost,' and a 
 whole year had passed before any news of its fate 
 reached thd officials. 
 
 '' Nor was it till many years afterwards, that all 
 the damning facts in regard to its destruction w^ere 
 brought to light. But when revealed, it stands forth 
 pre-eminent in shocking barbarity above all that has 
 occurred in American history, scarcely equalled by 
 aught in the old world, and certainly not by anything 
 in the history of our English race. The massacre of 
 Glencoe pales in comparison. 
 
 " Without oroino^ into detail of the witnesses ex- 
 amined, or the evidence of each, suffice it to give 
 events as they occurred, and as they were fully 
 proved in various examinations since made. Moun- 
 tain Meadow is three hundred miles from Salt Lake, 
 on the road to Los Angelos, California. The mea- 
 dows are about five miles in length and one in width. 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 63 
 
 on the ' divide ' between the Avaters of the Great 
 Basin and the Colorado. A very large spring rises 
 near the south end, by which the emigrants camped 
 for a few days, having been told by Hamlin that this 
 was the best place to rest and recruit their stock be- 
 fore entering upon the Great Desert. Thirty-four 
 miles below the Meadow is a Mormon settlement on 
 the Santa Clara ; thirty miles north is Cedar City, 
 and eighteen miles east of that is the tow^n of Har- 
 mony. From the ' divide ' down to the Colorado, 
 are a few Pah-Ute Indians, and north to Fillmore, a 
 small tribe of Pah- Vents. The day after the emi- 
 grants passed Cedar City, a grand council was called 
 there by Bishop Higbee and President J. C. Haight 
 of that town, and Bishop John D. Lee of Harmony. 
 They stated that they had received a command from 
 Salt Lake City •• to follow and attack those accursed 
 Gen-tiles and let the arrows of the Almighty drink 
 their blood.' 
 
 " A force of sixty men was soon raised, and joined 
 with a much larger force of Lidians, encircled the 
 emigrants' camp before daylight. The" white men 
 had meanwhile painted and disguised themselves as 
 Indians. A portion crept down a ravine near tlie 
 camp, and fired upon the emigrants while at break- 
 fast, killing ten or twelve. 
 
 " The latter were completely taken by surprise, 
 but seized their arms, shoved the wagons together, 
 
bi BHYMES, ON MORMOX UTAH. 
 
 sunk the wheels in the earth, and got in condition 
 for defence. The idea that enough of the Utes of 
 that district could be got together to attack a train 
 with fifty armed men, is too absurd to be entertained 
 for a moment, and the emigrants had rested in the 
 ease of fancied security. 
 
 " But their resistance was far greater than the 
 Mormons had expected ; and there for an entire 
 week, with their women and children Ijdng in the 
 trenches they had dug, they maintained the siege 
 and kept the savages, as they supiiosed, at bay. And 
 all of this time, as testified by Mrs. Hamlin, ^Yiie of 
 the Agent, the shots were constantly heard at Ham- 
 lin's ranche, and parties of Mormons, bishops, elders, 
 aud laymen, were coming and going to and from the 
 ranche, eating and drinking there, and ''pitching 
 quoits and amusing themselves in various ways.'' 
 They had the emigrants effectually secured, and 
 could afford to divide time and slaughter the Gentiles 
 at their leisure. But at the end of a week they 
 grew tired and resolved upon strategy. The firing 
 ceased, and while the weary and heart-sick emi- 
 grants looked for relief, and hoped that their savage 
 foes had given up the attack, they saw, at the upper 
 end of the little hollow in which they were, a wagon 
 full of men. The latter raised a white flag, and it 
 was perceived they were white men. A glad shout 
 of joy rang through the corral at the sight of men of 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. Go 
 
 their own color, their protectors, as they had every 
 reason to believe. They held up a little girl dressed 
 in white to answer their signal, and the party entered. 
 The Avagon contained J. C. Haight, John D. Lee 
 and other dignitaries. They accused the emigrants 
 of having poisoned a spring on the road used by the f 
 Indians, which was denied. It afterwards appeared; 
 in evidence that the spring ran so strong that a 
 ' barreftf arsenic would not have poisoned it.' The 
 Mormons said they were on good terms with the 
 Indians, but the latter were very angry, and would 
 not let the emigrants escape. The Mormons would, 
 however, intercede for them, if desired. This offer 
 was gladly accepted, and after a few hour's absence 
 the Mormons returned and stated that the Indians 
 gave as an ultimatum, that the emigrants should 
 give up all their property, particularly their guns^ 
 and go back the way they came. The Mormons 
 promised in this case to guard them back to the set- 
 tlements. These hard terms were acceded to, and 
 the emigrants left their wagons and started north- 
 ward on foot. 
 
 " The women and children were in front, the men 
 behind them, and a Mormon guard of forty men in 
 the rear. A mile or so from the spring, the road 
 runs through a thicket of scrub oaks, where are also 
 many large rocks, and here a force of Indians lay in 
 ambush. At an agreed signal, a sudden fire was 
 
66 EHYIMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 poured into the body of emigrants, and then Mor- 
 mons and Indians together rushed upon them, shoot- 
 ing, cutting their throats, beating them to death with 
 stones and clubs, and in a very few minutes a hund- 
 j*ed and twenty men, women and children, Ameri- 
 cans, Christians, Gentiles, lay dead upon the ground, 
 the miserable, hapless victims of Mormonism. The 
 Mormons and Indians fell upon the women, bit and 
 tore the rings from their fingers and ears, and tram- 
 pled in the faces of the dying. One young girl was 
 dragged aside by President Haight, and kneeling 
 implored him for life. He violated her with shame- 
 ful barbarity, then beat out her brains with a club. 
 Another young woman was taken out of the throng 
 by John D. Lee. He afterwards stated he intended 
 to save her life and take her to his harem ; but that 
 she struck at him with a large knife, when he imme- 
 diately shot her through the head. Three men 
 escaped. One starved to death upon the desert, 
 another was murdered by the Indians ninety miles 
 south, and the third was killed upon the Colorado, 
 by whom is not known. Seventeen children were 
 saved alive, who w^ere supposed to be too young to 
 remember anything about the circumstance. But 
 two of them did, and afterwards gave important 
 evidence. 
 
 " The children were first taken to Mrs. Hamlin's, 
 and afterwards distributed among Mormon families 
 
EHYMES, ON INIORMON UTAH. 67 
 
 in the neighborhood ; one was shot through the arm 
 and k)st the use of it. They were all recovered two 
 years after and returned to their friends in the States. 
 The property was divided, the Indians getting most 
 of the flour and ammunition ; but they claim that 
 the Mormons kept more than their share. Much of 
 it was sold in Cedar Citj at public auction ; it was ^ 
 there facetiously styled, " Property taken at the siege 
 of Sebastopol ; " and there is legal proof that the l 
 clothing stripped from the corpses, spotted with 
 blood and flesh and shredded by bullets, was placed 
 in the cellar of the tithing office and privately sold. 
 As late as 1862, jewelry taken at Mountain Meadow, 
 was worn in Salt Lake City, and the source it came 
 from not denied. 
 
 " Such was the Mountain Meadow Massacre ; and 
 to the eternal disgrace of American justice, not one 
 of the perpetrators has ever been punished accord- 
 ing to law. But the vengeance of heaven has not 
 spared them. Some of the young men in the Mor- 
 mon party have since removed to California, and 
 others apostatized. They earnestly insist that they 
 were never informed that any killing was intended ; 
 that they were told that the only object was to turn 
 back the emigrants and prevent their carrying infor- 
 mation to California ; that no more than a dozen 
 white men, besides the bishops and President, were 
 in the secret, and that these with the Indians did 
 
68 RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 all the killing. This is the present belief of most of 
 the Mormons, and they add that Haight and Lee 
 forged the order from Brigham Young, which was 
 produced in extenuation of the crime. Two of the 
 principal perpetrators are now insane. John D. Lee 
 still resides in Harmony, no longer a bishop, and one 
 can scarcely restrain a feeling of satisfaction at 
 knowing that his life is one of misery. He is 
 shunned and hated even by his Mormon neighbors, 
 he seldom ventures beyond the square upon which 
 he lives, his mind is distracted by an unceasing 
 dread of vengeance, and his intellect disordered. 
 
 " Though a too lenient government has failed of 
 its duty, yet, in the sufferings of a fearful mind, he 
 anticipates the hell his crimes deserve. Some months 
 passed away before it was even whispered in the 
 northern district that white men were concerned 
 in this affair ; and to the credit of the Mormon peo- 
 ple be it said, a great horror spread among them at 
 the report. A lady, then resident at Springville* 
 told me that the people of that place first learned of 
 the massacre the next spring, and the complicity of 
 white men was put beyond doubt, in her mind, by 
 the confession of her cousin, who was in the party 
 but claimed he did not assist at the killing. ' For 
 weeks,' she added, ' I and the other women could 
 not sleep for hearing the screams and groans of the 
 poor creatures in our ears. We thought we saw 
 
KHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 69 
 
 signs in 'the sky. We trembled in dread. We want- 
 ed to run away from the land, for we thought it was 
 cursed — that the vengeance of God would destroy 
 everybody in the southern district.' The lady es- 
 caped to Fort Bridger, and afterwards married a 
 Gentile. The superstitious fears, of which she speaks, 
 still rests in many minds ; nor is it difficult to believe 
 that, in the mysterious decrees of the moral order, 
 the fearful stain must be washed out in blood. The 
 guilty have escaped earthly justice ; but to the eye 
 of faith an avenging Nemesis is poised upon the 
 mountains of southern Utah, and pointing to the 
 plains below demands ' blood for blood.' 
 
 " One question remains : Did Brigham Young know 
 aught of, or give command for this massacre ? 
 
 " The strong probability of course, is, that he did 
 not. The majority of the Mormons, while they ad- 
 mit that church officials were concerned, yet claim 
 that they acted without Brigham's knowledge, and 
 his own family add, that when news of the affair was 
 brought him, he burst into tears and said, ' If any- 
 thing could break up and destroy this people, that 
 one act Avould do it.' Against these opinions there 
 are many strong proofs. The evidence of the Mor- 
 mons and Indians engaged in the affair ; the failuiej 
 of Brigham to give any account of it, whatever, in| 
 his next report as Indian Superintendent ; the com- 
 plete silence of his organ, the Church paper, on the 
 
70 RHYMES, ON MOFwMON UTAH. 
 
 subject ; his sermon ' turning loose the Indians on 
 ^emigrants ; ' the fact that John D. Lee is his son hy 
 Mormon '•adoption^'' a7id has never been punished ; the 
 testimony of the young Mormons who escaped from 
 Harmony to California, and more than all else, the 
 overwhelming certainty that no fact of great impor- 
 tance is ever entered upon without the advice and 
 consent of Brigham Young. An attempt was made 
 by Judge Cradlebaugh, in the autumn of 1859, to 
 bring the murderers to justice, which failed from 
 causes to be hereafter fully explained — Mormon 
 courts and juries." 
 
 * See Key, 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH 71 
 
 THE MOUNTAIN MEADOW MASSACRE. 
 
 Burns well had sung, long years ago. 
 
 In poesy, deep and strong, 
 Man's inhumanity to man 
 
 Makes countless thousands mourn. 
 Well might we sing it now as then ; 
 
 With shame the words we speak, 
 When we relate the horrid tale 
 
 That blanches every cheek. 
 
 II. 
 
 Some fourteen years ago, or more, 
 
 A company of men. 
 With wives and children — seven score — 
 
 If all were counted in ; 
 Did start from far Arkansas line, 
 
 For California state ; 
 What happened to these pioneers, 
 
 I will herein relate. 
 
 III. 
 
 Missouri and her western wilds. 
 
 Were soon left far behind, 
 While up the beauteous rolling Platte, 
 
 The emigrants did wind ; 
 
72 
 
 Across the Black Hills sped they on, 
 
 And over Lari plain, 
 Adown Green River mountain pass, 
 
 Where savages did reign. 
 
 IV. 
 
 While undisturbed by red men's whoop, 
 
 And never put in dread ; 
 They now approach the land of " Utes,'" 
 
 And Salt Lake water-bed. 
 Here, even here, the red men — no 
 
 The savage do n't disturb, 
 But a more dire and savage foe — 
 
 A clan less under curb. 
 
 Years before, a quondam band* 
 
 Of liars, theives and knaves. 
 Had fled Missouri's distant shore. 
 
 Their graceless lives to save. 
 Driven by the outraged laws. 
 
 Beyond the western plains ; 
 Had crossed the Rocky mountain tops, 
 
 Beyond the Wasatch range. 
 
 Fee Kc". 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 73 
 VI 
 
 Here, on the shore of Great Salt Lake, 
 
 A thousand miles or more, 
 From all their crime, left far behind, 
 
 And from Pacific shore — 
 These arrant knaves, and theives and slaves, 
 
 Led on by Be-he-hung,* 
 These pious, mormon saints of Hell, 
 
 Set up their " kingdom come." 
 
 VII. 
 
 Here for half a score of years, 
 
 They planned, and prayed, and stole ; 
 The chief of scoundrels, Be-he-hung, 
 
 Commander of the whole. 
 Sunken here in lust and vice, 
 
 These desperate villains swore, 
 To be revenged on every one, 
 
 That name of Gentile bore. 
 
 VIII. 
 
 A Danite band was organized, 
 To slay both old and young ; 
 
 And every one was doomed to death 
 That dared to wag his tongue* 
 
 ''See Key. 
 
74 RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 Against the Prophet, Joseph Smith, 
 Or Brother Brigham Young, — 
 
 While praises to these " pious frauds,' 
 Were daily to be sung. 
 
 IX. 
 
 Emigrants were robbed and slain, 
 
 By red men it was said ; 
 " The horrid secret " was not known, 
 
 It slumbered wdth the dead. 
 Again, again, were missing men. 
 
 Traced to the Salt Lake shore ; 
 And then their friends ne'er heard again 
 
 From them forevermore.* 
 
 Year after year the evil grew, 
 
 And wider grew its range ; 
 That it was so, to people now 
 
 Appears so very strange. 
 No greater truth e'er came from God, 
 
 Or e'er was known to man. 
 ''''The saints grew bold, and proud, and rich,' 
 
 By just such robbing plan. 
 
 Sec Key. 
 
BHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 XI. 
 
 A train so large and well equipped 
 
 As these Arkansas men, 
 Had never passed the Salt Lake shore, 
 
 And Mormon robbing den. 
 But now the saints so stoutly grown, 
 
 In robbery inured, 
 And from all fear or dread of law, 
 
 Successfully immured. 
 
 XII. 
 
 With greedy eyes, began to look 
 
 Upon the splendid train. 
 Such wagons, horses, stock and all^ 
 
 Scarce ever crossed the plain. 
 The bandit chieftian, Be-he-hung, 
 
 Sent heralds far ahead, — 
 Trade not, sell not unto this train, 
 
 A bite of meat or bread.* 
 
 XIII. 
 
 The message had its sure effect. 
 On all the saintly throng ; 
 
 A single thing could not be got. 
 As they marched slowly on. 
 
 'See Key. 
 
 T5 
 
76 KHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 The snut up house — averted face, — 
 Were all the new-comers saw ; 
 
 And yet these toiling Plainers kept 
 The sacred name of law. 
 
 XIV. 
 
 The Mormon bands and robbing clans, 
 
 Still large and larger grew, 
 Till full five hundred villains met, 
 
 At their grand rendezvous ; 
 Commanded by one Major Lee, 
 
 With Bishops in command, — 
 This wholesale, robbing, murder crew, 
 
 Attack with sword in hand.* 
 
 XV. 
 
 " At Mountain Meadow," in the south 
 
 Of Utah, were encamped 
 The little band of weary ones, 
 
 That many miles had tramped. 
 The sable night wore on apace, 
 
 The dreadful morn drew nigh, 
 When by red-handed butchery, 
 
 So many were to die. 
 
 Sec K y. 
 
TIIIY.MES, OX MORMON UTAH. 77 
 
 XVI. 
 
 At break of morn — the crack of doom ! 
 
 Death — sounded in each ear, 
 The maiden's rosy cheek ay as blanched, 
 
 The children cowered with fear ; 
 The men, stout-hearted, did not quail. 
 
 But met their fate like men ; 
 Although the foe outnumbered them. 
 
 As five outnumbers one. 
 
 XVII. 
 
 They fought like brave men, long and well, 
 
 While many bit the ground ; 
 And fairest women's crimson blood, 
 
 Did stain the green SAvard round.* 
 At last the wily Mormon thought 
 
 Such contest did not pay, — 
 For many of the saints were down. 
 
 On that dark, bloody day. 
 
 XVIII. 
 
 A parley was agreed upon, 
 
 And propositions made, 
 That if the band would move off hand, 
 
 And be not sore afraid, 
 
 *Sce Key. 
 
78 RHYMES, ON MORMOX UTAH. 
 
 Give up their arms without alarm, 
 And further fight decline, 
 
 They should be safely put across 
 The southern Utah line. 
 
 XIX. 
 
 To save their wives and children dear, 
 
 The men did thus agree, — 
 As soon as Utah line was crossed, 
 
 They v/ould again be free. 
 'T was done as said, and quickly done, 
 
 The prisoners marched before. 
 Till at a narrow mountain pass, 
 
 Again ran human gore. 
 
 XX. 
 
 The prisoners were all there shot down. 
 
 Most treacherously were slain ; 
 Of men and women, children too. 
 
 Not one of them remain. 
 Of those two hundred souls in train, — 
 
 No better under sun, 
 Not one remained to tell the tale; 
 
 No, not a single one. 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 79 
 
 XXI. 
 
 The wagons, horses, goods and all, 
 
 That made that splendid '' train," 
 Were taken by the Mormon saints, 
 
 Back to Salt Lake again.* 
 No man has ever yet -been tried — 
 
 Guilt hangs its blackened pall — 
 From Brigham to the meanest " thug^^^ 
 
 They all are guilty — all ! 
 
 XXII. 
 
 Amid the Rocky Mountain snows, 
 
 The sage-bush desert plain, 
 Where'er the Salt Lake waters roll. 
 
 The Mormons still remain. 
 Treacherous and lecherous still, 
 
 The saints can do no wrong ; 
 The earth 's the Lord's, and they are his, 
 
 Is still their knavish sono^.* 
 
 * See Key. 
 
so RHYMES, ON MOBMON UTAH. 
 
 LAW, OR THE COURTS IN UTAH. 
 
 No recourse being left 
 
 His feelings, or his pride, 
 But Death, or Doctor Commons, 
 
 Why then, therefore, he — died. 
 So Lord Byron wrote. 
 
 In a witty epigram ; 
 Rather than go to law, 
 
 He 'd die an honest man. 
 
 Another Bard has sung — 
 
 The immortal Will Shakespeare — 
 " From the uncertainty of Law, 
 
 There is everything to fear." 
 And again he sadly speaks. 
 
 Of the law's drag-on delays. 
 Wherein procrastination, 
 
 Puts everything in a haze. 
 
 Lamented Dickens, called it 
 
 The way for not to do ; 
 A circumlocution, 
 
 Instead of going through. 
 If this is true of law 
 
 When all the courts agree, 
 What must be thought of law, 
 
 In the land of U. T. E.* 
 
 *See Kev. 
 
RHYMES, ON MOllMON UTAH. 81 
 
 Our Uncle Samuel, he — 
 
 Invisibly so green — 
 Who stands for all our sins, 
 
 And yet is never seen ; 
 He says, or seems to say, 
 
 Utah, my fairest niece, 
 Mormon saint, or sinner, 
 
 You all must live in peace.* 
 
 Live in peace ! say, Uncle, 
 
 How can we live in peace ? 
 Under Utah lawyers, 
 
 And a Mormon paid police. 
 Brigham Young as ruler. 
 
 Both civil and religious ; 
 McKean and Woods, thy servants, 
 
 Peaceably fastidious.* 
 
 McKean, without a jury, 
 
 The Probate snubbed at will, 
 Non est inventus, villaiyis, 
 
 All but those ivJio hill. 
 Gentiles held by Probate, 
 
 Habeas Corpused out , 
 Mormon juries paneled, 
 
 The cause of Gentiles flout* 
 
82 RHY^IES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 Diamond cutting diamond ; 
 
 Greek outdoing Greek ; 
 The only law in Utah — 
 
 Plenty of funds and cheek. 
 Mormons with the money, 
 
 Gentiles Avith the cheek, 
 Of justice, " law or order ^''^ 
 
 Neither have much to speak. 
 
 The saiiits are anxious only, 
 
 To make their crop of hay ; 
 To make it, sure and certain, • 
 
 While it is called to-day. 
 To make their " pile " and " marry ^^ 
 
 Before dear " Uncle Sam^^' 
 Declares by '''' penal statute,'^ 
 
 Polygamy a sham. 
 
 The Mormons have a " leader,'* 
 
 A vigorous '' leader ^^^ too ; 
 No matter how abject^ 
 
 The saints are well to do. 
 Of all the non-de-scripts. 
 
 Husband, wife, or child, 
 Out of place in Utah, 
 
 It is ^' the poor Gentile.^''* 
 
 See Key. 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 83 
 
 The ''poor men," ^^full of sores^'^ 
 
 Lay at the rich saint's gate, 
 Like Lazarus, he of old, 
 
 They only " look and ivait,^^ 
 Obey the " ?««^," says Grant — 
 
 In Utah, there is no " law! ' 
 Not a " single statute,' ' 
 
 Worth a " single straw.''* 
 
 See Key. 
 
84 RHYMES, ON MOKMON UTAH. 
 
 BRIGHAM AND HIS HAREM. 
 
 If you listen, I will tell you, 
 I will tell the strangest story, 
 
 Of the smartest, cutest Yankee, 
 Stricken now in years, and hoary.* 
 
 'Way down East, up in the mountains, 
 Lived — a model to the nation — 
 
 Poor old Crrand-Pa Young, who never,* 
 In his sanguine expectation. 
 
 Never, I say never, never — 
 
 Never, for one moment thought it, 
 
 Never entered in his head, sir ! 
 To create the world a prophet. 
 
 Whether meditated malice. 
 
 Instigated by the Devil, 
 Or some Imp of the Infernal, — 
 
 Not the fear of God before him, 
 
 Or the resurrected witches. 
 Of old Salem persecutions, 
 
 Did frustrate the good man's wishes, 
 In a very strange abortion. 
 
 *See Key. 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 85 
 
 I know not, nor at this moment, 
 
 Can I search for occult causes ; 
 Unless in old Connecticut, 
 
 And the codified blue laws of. 
 
 Strange, mysterious hints, in nature, 
 Were thrown out in scintellations, 
 
 Evidencing greatness coming, — 
 This is not in disputation — * 
 
 Though contemporaneous stories, — 
 
 Now forever in oblivion,— 
 May be wanting for the proof of, 
 
 Still, believed in by the million. 
 
 World's, for aught we know, had bursted ; 
 
 Moons turned sadly on their axis, 
 Looking like green cheese to boobies, — 
 
 Tories would not pay their taxes. 
 
 Horrid owls in woodland hooted ; 
 
 Dairy milk in pails turned sour ; 
 Cutty-sark, rode broomstick — booted, 
 
 On or about the very hour. 
 
 Tam O'Shanter crossed the kej^stone — 
 
 Gilpin lost his wig behind him — 
 Little Bo-Pe lost his sheep-pe, 
 
 Never knowing where to find 'em. 
 
 Se< Key. 
 
86 RHYMES, ON MOEMON UTAH. 
 
 Little fishes in the rivers — 
 Little urchins try to gig 'em ! 
 
 Lo, behold ! what cometh hereto, 
 
 'Tis long looked for Brother Brigham. * 
 
 Joseph — I do n't mean of Egypt — 
 He that found the G-olden Bible ;* 
 
 Joseph, he oi peep-stone noted, 
 Though some say that is a libel. 
 
 Joseph, who translated Mormon ; 
 
 Joseph, seer and revelator ; 
 Joseph, martyred down at Carthage, 
 
 Needed Brigham as testatof. 
 
 Brother Brigham, came when needed, 
 Opportunely at the moment ; 
 
 Spirit of the call was heeded ; 
 Leader of the quondam Mormon. 
 
 Brigham as the close successor 
 Of the knavish prophet Joseph ; 
 
 Most completely filled the hill of — 
 Better could have never " rose upJ** 
 
 Byron, Moore, and many others, 
 Oft have sung in rhyming numbers, 
 
 Of the Oriental harems, 
 
 Causing Saxon heads to wonder. 
 
 *Sce Key. 
 
KHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 8T 
 
 How a natiiralis homo, — 
 
 Papa — pateros famillies, — 
 Lived, and loved, and greatly wedded. 
 
 And so often was imbedded.* 
 
 How when number one was with him, 
 Number t?vo could dare approach him ; 
 
 How when number three caresses, 
 
 Number /oMT* could help reproach him ; 
 
 How when number five delights him, 
 With a storm of burning kisses ; 
 
 Number six could help but spite him, 
 With the echo of her hisses. 
 
 And when young and glorious seveUy 
 
 Princess of the grand seraglio, 
 Rapt her lord in lovers elysium, 
 
 Number eight would kind of hate him ; 
 
 How when nine, so pensive, gentle, 
 
 In magnetic, soul — attraction. 
 Drew with secret cords her master. 
 
 Number ten could help distract him. 
 
 So forth, and so forth, and so on, 
 
 Through a score of hloomiiifj beauties ; 
 
 How Mustapha Pacha's pleasures, 
 Crossed the line of family duties.* 
 
 Spe Key. 
 
f 8 RHYMES, ON MOBMON UTAH. 
 
 Well we thought, and often wondered, 
 
 Even set up calculation. 
 How much time should be alloted. 
 
 To these hand-maids of the nation. 
 
 But, in Utah wonder ceases ; 
 
 Here we find the grand solution, 
 Here the monogamic Saxon, 
 
 Polygamies in pollution. 
 
 Sons of puritanic fathers, 
 
 Hash-heesh with the Scandinavian ;* 
 Cold-blood, virtuous, pious north-men, 
 
 Multiply the Australasian,* 
 
 In America, what crosses, 
 
 And still stranger contradiction ; 
 
 Africa has been for ages 
 Polygamic in condition ; 
 
 But her sable sons, transplanted 
 To a higher soul formation, 
 
 Monogamic like the noblest 
 
 Of this great and mighty nation. 
 
 While the sons of Modern Europe, 
 
 And America, United, 
 In the Rocky Mountain fastness, 
 
 Asiatically benighted ; 
 
 * See Key. 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 89 
 
 Turning back historic pages — 
 
 Polygamic Institutions, 
 Lost, in lapse of bygone ages, 
 
 Are revived with their pollutions.* 
 
 'Tis a scab upon the human, 
 
 A reproach on common nature, 
 When the animals, the noblest, 
 
 Monogamic in their union ; 
 
 When the birds, who sing so sweetly, 
 And who dress in superb feather, 
 
 Take each other, worse or better, 'j 
 
 Wander off in paim together. 
 
 Now this modern, lecherous monster, 
 
 Brigham, I can mean no other. 
 Prophet, See-r and Revelator, 
 
 And his victims call him brother. 
 
 Has nineteen, and maybe over. 
 
 Hand-maids, concubines, or matrons, 
 
 Certainly the man's in clover. 
 
 With so many wives, if -^at ones,* 
 
 Take them, old and young together. 
 Large and small, and lean and fatty, 
 
 Tall, and short, and fair and sallow. 
 From Amelia up to Hatty ; 
 
 See Key. 
 
90 RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 From the wise, and smart, and witty, 
 
 Down to Idiotic Sallie ; 
 Mary, Martha, Emma, Kitty, 
 
 Ann, Maria, Jane and Hally. 
 
 One and all, and each and several. 
 Young and lovely, rarest spiced ones. 
 
 Took Old Brigham^ at a venture. 
 For his pile, for they had priced him. 
 
 Mysteries of Love and Mammon^ 
 Sold each heart, and soul, and body, 
 
 And by deed of '-'Fee-male Simple^'" 
 Transferred to this ''-lioanj shoddy.''^* 
 
 Sins as bad, as glaring, damning. 
 As had cursed the ancient fathers^ 
 
 Brigham gave up all his manhood 
 To the sexual hands of woman. 
 
 Man is man, while in God's image^ 
 Nature's hero — he advances — 
 
 But if he himself unsexes, 
 
 Poodle dog-like, licks and prances^ 
 
 Then no more can he be trusted, 
 Amorous glutton, or lust-smitten, 
 
 Synoms of man's utter ruin, 
 Let his epitaph be written. 
 
 * See Key. 
 
 \ 
 
RHYMES, ON MOHMON UTAH. 91 
 
 Sordid, lecherous, meanest Bipedy 
 
 Life with him is but a fun-gus ; 
 Let the wretched cheat be wiped out, 
 
 Let him dwell no more among us,* 
 
 If a soul has dwelt within him, 
 
 If a spirit be imprisoned, 
 Burst the prison doors asunder, 
 
 Give the soul once more its pinions, 
 
 God of light ! thou soul Creator ! 
 
 Who in Justice rules the world. 
 May this festering, moral gangrene. 
 
 From his power soon be hurled. 
 
 Oh, my dear beloved country ! 
 
 Thou Columbia of the Free ! 
 From the top-most of these mountains, 
 
 To the all-surrounding sea, — 
 
 Sing once more, the song of honor. 
 Light of freedom shine above us ; 
 
 This dishonored man to vanquish, 
 God in mercy hear and love us. 
 
 See Key. 
 
92 RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 BRIGHAM YOUNG IN THE PULPIT. 
 
 It is a fact with which all residents of Utah are 
 familiar, that until a few ^^ears since, many of the 
 sermons of Brigham Young, as delivered in the 
 Tabernacle in this city, were so full of profanity and 
 abounded v/ith so many obscene and indecent ex- 
 pressions, as to be utterly unfit for publication. 
 That the public may form a correct estimate of the 
 real character of this man, who professes to be a 
 Prophet of the Living God, and who, as President 
 of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 
 assumes to himself the triple functions of Prophet, 
 Seer and Revelator, we lay before our readers the 
 following^ extract from one of his sermons. The 
 selection is made from a verbatim report of a sermon 
 delivered by Brigham, in this city, on the first Sun- 
 day in September, 1861, upon the subject of the 
 " Proneness to Follow Gentile Fashions." Nothing 
 has been exaggerated, nothing extenuated, nor aught 
 set down in malice, but the Prophet's own words 
 
 I 
 
KHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 93 
 
 have been presented just as tliey were delivered 
 before a congregation of more than two thousand 
 men, women and children. It is as follows: 
 
 Extract from a Sermon delivered by Brigham 
 Young, 
 
 The Fir^t Sunday in September, ISGl. 
 
 Subject — Proneness of the Saints to Imitate Gentile Fashions. 
 
 ***** 
 
 That man that sells liquor and believes that he 
 must, I promise liim damnation for it. 
 
 That man that makes liquor and gives it to his 
 neighbor, he shall have his reward in Hell. That 
 man that says he cannot live without destroying 
 truth and virtue from the earth — what is he fit for? 
 If Hell was all at my disposal, I vv^ould not give him 
 hell-room. I 'd annihilate him, and that is what the 
 Lord. will do with him. 
 
 Give us a little Gentileism, for Heaven's sake, you 
 say. The women say let us wear hoops, because the 
 whores wear them. 
 
 [After speaking of their imitation of the Gentiles 
 ill their styles of boots and hair cutting, he added:] 
 I believe if they were to come with a cob stuck in 
 behind, you would want to do the same. I despis(3 
 their damnal)le fashions, their lying and whoring ; 
 and God being my helper, I '11 live to see every one 
 
O-i IIHY3IES, OX MOEMON UTAH. 
 
 of those cussed fools off the earth, saint or sinner. 
 I do n't know that I have a wife but what would see 
 me damned rather than she should not get what she 
 wished, and that is what I think of all of them, and 
 of the men too. 
 
 I would see a Gentile further in Hell than they 
 ever got, before I would follow their fashions, if it 
 did not suit me. There is not a day I go out but I 
 see the women's legs, and if the wind blows you see 
 them up to their bodies. 
 
 If you must wear their hoops, tie them down with 
 weights, and do n't let your petticoats be over your 
 heads. It is ridiculous, and should not be. It be- 
 longs to a set of whorey congregations that love 
 iniquity and to corrupt themselves one with another. 
 It belongs there. It do n't belong to this com- 
 munity. 
 
 How do you think I feel about it ? "Who cares 
 about these infernal Gentiles ? 
 
 If they were to wear a s — t pot on their head, 
 must I do so ? 
 
 I know I ought to be ashamed, but when you show 
 your tother end I have a right to talk about tether 
 end. If you keep them hid, I '11 be modest, and not 
 talk about them. 
 
 There are those fornication pantaloons, made on 
 purpose for whores to button up in front. My 
 pantaloons button up here (showing how) where 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 95 
 
 they belong, that my secrets, tliab God has given me, 
 should not be exposed. 
 
 You follow the Gentiles and you will be partakers 
 of their plagues if you do n't look out. That is the 
 work of the Lord. 
 
 Break off from your sins by righteousness. Will 
 you do it ? This is the word of the Almighty to you, 
 through his servant Brigham. Keep your secrets 
 secret, and hide your bodies and preserve youi bodies. 
 
 Now, if a whore comes along and turns up her 
 clothes, don't turn up yours and go through the 
 streets. 
 
96 BHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 SERMON DELIVERED BY DR. JETER 
 CLINTON. 
 
 In the 13th Ward Meeting - house, Salt Lake 
 City, Sunday Evening, January 1st, 1865. 
 
 (Good many gestures. 'Hem ! 'hem ! 'hem !) 
 My words to-night will be the subject of Mormon- 
 ism. I am going to speak words to convert strangers, 
 and bring them in the true path of virtue and truth- 
 fulness of Mormonism. Good many like to hear a 
 regular Mormon sermon, and I am going to preach 
 one to-night. Mormon is the word the Devil called 
 us (gesture), but God gave us a saint, a prophet by 
 the name of Mormon, but we are God's chosen peo- 
 ple, the Latter-day Saints. The Jews and Gentiles 
 have driven us from place to place, and they have 
 tried to drive us from here, but I can tell you, friends, 
 that we are not a-oroinsf from here. The filth and 
 dirt will devour themselves ; God will see to that, as 
 I do not want to dirty my hands with them. Then 
 the filth, the dirt, the scum, that Avas sent here to 
 teach and direct us in the paths of virtue and right 
 
llili'Mi:S, ON MOllMON UTAH. 97 
 
 — God keep us from such righteousness — but as 
 long as they mind their own business and gather up 
 the filth laying around the streets — but we won't 
 say a word. That is my doctrine. To-night, I am 
 going to speak plain with you. Now, let us clean the 
 outside and keep the inside clean, as you would one 
 of your platters. Wash it, wash it ; purify it, and 
 by that means clean it; if you do not it will be 
 dirty, sticky, foul. Now, there are men and women 
 in this congregation who do not belong to this 
 church, who have come out of curiosity, but this is 
 the kind of sermon which will do more to convert 
 them than anything else. Now for these women, the 
 low, nasty street-walkers who live in the Thirteenth 
 Ward; the low, nasty, dirty, filthy, stinking bitches, 
 they stink — tliat will invite strange men into their 
 houses and introduce them into their family circles. 
 Their excuse was they were boarders ; but it is a lie, 
 and* that is their excuse. They ought to be shot 
 with a double-barreled shot-gun. That is my doc- 
 trine (pointing to a soldier), and when you see those 
 street-walkers following behind such women (God 
 keep me from calling them women) take a double- 
 barreled shot-gun and follow them, and when you 
 catch them, shoot them to pieces, and if you do not 
 overtake them before they get to their haunts or 
 dens, go in and kill them both. That is my doc- 
 trine. I am the Justice of the Peace. I am the 
 
98 KHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 Coroner or the county, but I will never find you. I 
 will guarantee that. But if there is two of them, 
 one a Mormon and one Jew or Gentile, shoot the 
 Mormon first, if you have only one load in your 
 gun, but if you have two loads in your gun, shoot 
 them both. 
 
 I have been in this country sixteen years. You 
 never see such people in my house, for they are not 
 wanted there. I have had these same kind of women 
 come to me for advice, and I used to give it, and 
 they would go to my enemies, but I have got too old 
 for them now. I used the words of our Saviour, 
 " Go your way and sin no more." Now I can tell 
 you, one and all, when I came here there was not a 
 groggery in the place, and not a lot of gambling 
 loafers, horse thieves and filth, who congregate and 
 dance by an old fiddle. They are not only Gentiles, 
 but Saints ; such Saints ! (throwing up his hands.) 
 Now, the only comparison I can make to show you, 
 is what I heard from a brother, who compared them 
 to a Missouri hog, a long-nosed hog, for after you 
 got him out in these hills he would be a hog still. I 
 thought when we came out here we would be clean, 
 not sullied, and to God's chosen people I come. You 
 might want to know what for ? I came for my 
 religion, and to bring up my family in holiness and 
 purity. And now for another comparison : If a man 
 was a thief in Missouri, he would be a thief here. 
 
KHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 99 
 
 My friends, you may think it strange that I should 
 have dealt so lenient with that young blackguard 
 who I fined $100 a few days ago, but my jurisdiction 
 would not allow me to do more. I mean to clean 
 out the Tliirteenth Ward, purify it. I will send our 
 teachers all around — Jew and Gentile — it is our 
 right, etc., to every house in the Ward, and when 
 we find one of these houses, tear it down. It is not 
 the first house that has been torn down here (they 
 never come to me about it) ; and I will help you. 
 Shoot down the miscreants who infest the city ; I 
 will promise you that no law shall trouble you. 
 Now, what have we to expect ; when Noah entered 
 the Ark with eight persons, there was one bad one 
 there, and I think that was Ham, for he was mean 
 and dirty, for he married a nigger wench (gesture); 
 and another thing shows, that when the waters had 
 returned from the earth, they planted some grapes 
 and made wine, and Old Noah got on a spree and 
 distilled himself and fell asleep in the vineyard, when 
 Ham, instead of hiding his father, slipped off his 
 clothes from him, and called the people in to witness 
 his father's nakedness. His younger brother was 
 ashamed, and walked backward and threw them 
 over him. That is the reason I think he was a bad 
 man, because he was an abolitionist (gestures). God 
 bless Abe Lincoln. 
 
too EHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 SERMON DELIVERED BY BISHOP 
 WOOLLEY, 
 
 In the Thirteenth Ward Meeting-house, Salt 
 Lake City, Sunday Ev'g, Jan. 1, 1865, 
 
 Well, Brothers and Sisters, Jews and Gentiles, 
 they call me a hard case, but the Doctor has taken 
 the wind out of my sails, so that I have only to put 
 on the finishing touches. Now, I have commenced 
 the new year, and I am going to commence, and if 
 I have been hard I am going to keep it up in the 
 Thirteenth Ward. When our teachers go around, 
 as they will do, they will find out the business occu- 
 pation, number of families, etc., and if they are in 
 want, sickness, etc., and try to break up the low, 
 vile dens in this Ward. I am coming right down 
 upon them. Why, I can throw a stone from this 
 pulpit on a house of whoredom, and another around 
 the corner. They have carried on their whoredom 
 long enough under our very nose. Yes, there are 
 plenty gentlemen in this congregation, and some 
 white-livered gamblers — I know them by their eyes, 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 101 
 
 yes and their hang-dog looks, and whores and whore- 
 masters — they can 't stay among us and bring up 
 their bastards on us. I can tell you so. You can go 
 to some houses in this Ward and see some lone 
 widow woman and a lot of strangers there. They 
 never come there without an invitation. No, they 
 never come to my house, for they are not wanted 
 there. I have been here sixteen years, and no 
 strangers but my own family come there. I am the 
 stranger's friend. Why do n't he go to the public 
 houses ? No, it is for prostitution and nothing else, 
 and these miserable excuses are all lies, black lies. 
 I would do as the Doctor says, kill them, but their 
 filth will kill themselves. They were sent out here 
 to dictate to us, and for our welfare. What have 
 they to do with our plurality of wives ? Nothing. I 
 read in a newspaper this afternoon, speaking about 
 what they had accomplished in one year, and how 
 much they had benefited the country — God help 
 the good they have done! They have fetched the 
 Devil here, whores, whore-masters, and bastards. 
 Tear down their houses, if they persist in their damn- 
 able wickedness. There is no help for them. Why, 
 
 I told Sister , (the name was given, but we 
 
 decline to give publicity to private scandal,) if she 
 persisted in going to Camp, and among Gentiles, 
 years ago, what it would brino: her to. Now, you 
 see, her daughter Lizzie is a whore, a dirty^ stinking 
 
102 RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 huzzy ^ a filthy hitch. I have put up with her mothers' 
 whining and sniveling long enough. Of course, a 
 mother loves her child, but it is the Sister's own 
 fault, and I told her so. And then there is our 
 brother, G. W. Stevens, and his dearly beloved wife. 
 What shall we do with them — send them out of the 
 Church ? Our streets are now filled with whores, 
 thieves, gamblers, pimj)s, etc. The only way to puri- 
 fy it, is to drive them out. Tear down their houses 
 and send them where Gebow and his gang (looking 
 towards Camp) went. That Gebow, Brother Gebow, 
 was a Mormon once, (laughter) but it is true though. 
 I suppose some of these remarks will be seen in that 
 little vile sheet, the Vedette^ for I presume some are 
 taking notes now. We are going to cut off some of 
 these from the Church to-night. It was only last 
 Sabbath night we had two men stationed at the door. 
 If there had been any such disturbance as we had 
 the Sunday before, we would have hoisted them down 
 stairs, so they would not come again, and God 
 would have been with us, and those two men felt 
 like it, too. 
 
 Now, when they speak of President Brigham 
 Young, they speak of me, and when they insult him, 
 they insult me. Now, I am going to expel and cut 
 off Lizzie from the Church, and all those who are in 
 favor of expelling Lizzie will please raise their right 
 hand (six hands raised). Carried. Now, all who 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 108 
 
 are found harboring Lizzie, from tins on, after to- 
 morrow's sun, or anybody not belonging to the 
 Church, their houses will be battered down ; and if 
 she shall go to another Ward, we will use our influ- 
 ence and drive her out of that, and send her where 
 Gebow and his gang went (looking towards the sol- 
 diers). Now, in reference to G. W. Stevens and his 
 dearly beloved wife, you will please signify by raising 
 your right hand. Carried. Now, we have some 
 more to cut off, but we will keep them till next Sun- 
 day night, and see further in their cases. We have 
 put up with G. W. Stevens and his wife three years 
 too long. They talk about the plurality of wives, 
 but when they speak of my wives and children, they 
 touch the apple of my eye. 
 
 They who come here from California, Oregon, 
 Idaho and Nevada, to teach us civilization, the 
 low^ dirty^ miserable^ scrapinq rabble of the earthy 
 why do they come here ? What brings them 
 here ? They call us the outcasts of the earth, 
 but we know that we are G-od's chosen peeple, and 
 He will fight our battles. They have tried thirty- 
 four years to sweep us off the face of the earth, but 
 the Lord has directed otherwise, and He will direct 
 and protect Zion's people wherever He leads them. 
 This is like King Egah leading his people against 
 Elijah, the prophet, but the Lord protected him, and 
 He will us, and we will thank Him for it. Now, we 
 
104 PvHYMES, ON :vrORMON UTAH. 
 
 want you to tell all those members lliat are not pres- 
 ent, about harboring any such characters, whether 
 men or women, as our teachers will be around the 
 Ward, whether Jew or Gentile, that no whore or 
 whore-master will be allowed to abide amidst us, for 
 we will do as the Doctor said, and have a clean re- 
 cord. Now, I will draw my remarks to a close. I 
 will give all the evil doers time to reform, we will 
 clean^ purify and wash the Thirteenth Ward of all 
 damnable sinners. Amen. 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 106 
 
 BRIGHAM'S SERMON. 
 
 Preached in the Tabernacle at Salt Lake 
 City, on the 1st Sunday in Sept., 1861. 
 
 I. 
 
 Said Brigham the Prophet, 
 
 My heart is in pain, 
 At the doings of women 
 
 So sinful and vain. 
 Let a harlot appear 
 
 On the streets of our town, 
 No matter how long, 
 
 Or short is her gown ; 
 
 II. 
 
 Whatever the cut of her 
 
 Shoes they may be. 
 Her stockings below. 
 
 Or above on her knee ; 
 " Her hair be it short, 
 
 Or hanging down long — 
 From Paris, or London, 
 
 New York, or Hong-Kong. 
 
106 BHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 III. 
 
 Our women — our wives, 
 
 So sacredly sealed, 
 Must alter their shoes, 
 
 And get them new heeled. 
 Must cut off their dress, 
 
 Or drag it still down, 
 So they may look 
 • Like this girl of the town. 
 
 IV. 
 
 I believe m my soul. 
 
 Said the Prophet in wrath, 
 That if one of these girls 
 
 That crosses my path. 
 Should appear on the street 
 
 With a Grecian behind. 
 Every one of our wives 
 
 Would go it — stone blind, 
 
 V. 
 
 I dispise all their fashions, 
 I 'm d d but I do, 
 
 And every good saint 
 
 Should dispise them all, too. 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 107 
 
 I hope ill my soul, 
 
 God helping me well, 
 To drive all these Gentiles 
 
 To death and to H~ll. 
 
 VI. 
 
 I do n't even know, 
 
 After all that I 've been, 
 That one of my wives. 
 
 Cares for me a pin ! 
 They would all see me 
 
 D d forever in H — ^11, 
 
 But what they would dress 
 
 Like this latter-day Belle. 
 
 VII. 
 
 I truly say this, 
 
 Not of one, but of all ; 
 May the vengeance of God 
 
 On all of them fall. 
 The bretheren, indeed! 
 
 Are almost as bad ; 
 And if it continues 
 
 I will sui-ely go mad ! 
 
10& RHYMES, ON MOKMON UTAH. 
 
 VIII. 
 
 I would see a Gentile 
 
 Go far into H — 11, 
 Before I would follow 
 
 This new fashioned belle. 
 There is not a day 
 
 I go out on the street, 
 But what I can see 
 
 Their legs and their feet. 
 
 IX. 
 
 And if the wind blows, 
 
 Their hoops toss about 
 So high in the air — 
 
 I fairly could shout, 
 At the sight of their bodies 
 
 So naked and bare ; 
 My eyes are agape. 
 
 And standing my hair. 
 
 If you must wear your hoops. 
 
 Please tie them down well : 
 Put weights on the sides, 
 
 My latter-day Belle. 
 
RHYMES, ON l^IOllMON UTAH. 109 
 
 Do n't fly your petticoats 
 
 Clean over your head, 
 Or, maybe, you '11 cause 
 
 Some one to fall dead. 
 
 XI. 
 
 These fashions belong 
 
 To no one but girls, 
 "Who are all oji the street^ 
 
 And never in doors ; 
 They do not belong 
 
 To the Saints, like we ; 
 From lusting for such 
 
 Our souls are made free. 
 
 XII. 
 
 And how do you think, 
 
 That I, Brigham Young, 
 Do feel about this. 
 
 When wagging my tongue ? 
 These infernal Gentiles, 
 
 Who cause me to swear, 
 And in huge bunches 
 
 To pull out my hair. 
 
110 RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 XIII. 
 
 believe, in my soul, 
 
 So far have you got, 
 That if one of these girls 
 
 Should wear a tea-pot, 
 On the top of her head, 
 
 You would try to do so. 
 Our wives, and our daughters, 
 
 Have got so d d low. 
 
 XIV. 
 
 * 
 I know that I ought 
 
 To be really ashamed, 
 But why do you try 
 
 To show " tother end ; " 
 While you, in spite of me, 
 
 Try for to show, 
 I will, in spite of you, 
 
 Whistle and blow. 
 
 XV. 
 
 If you cover up, 
 
 I will let it all pass. 
 If not, my dear girls. 
 
 Be careful of glass. 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. Ill 
 
 Be modest yourselves, 
 
 And Brigham will try. 
 Provided you put 
 
 Nothing else in his eye.* 
 
 XVI. 
 
 You have seen, says Brigham, 
 
 Pants, button before — 
 " Pants — fornication " — 
 
 That are made to be wore I* 
 Beware of them, brethren ! 
 
 And you, my dear wives, 
 Look not upon them ! 
 
 At the risk of yo-ur lives. 
 
 XVII. 
 
 My pants button up 
 
 Just like a barn-door, 
 That my secrets of life 
 
 I carry before. 
 And which God has given 
 
 His prophet and seer — 
 Unexpectedly — sudden — 
 
 May never appear.* 
 
 See Key. 
 
112 RHYMES, OX MOllMON UTAH. 
 
 XVIII . 
 
 As a last, parting word, 
 ' Allow me to sa}^, 
 
 If one of these girls 
 
 Comes into your way, 
 And turns up her clothes 
 
 Clear over her head, 
 And beckons you on 
 
 To her lecherous bed, 
 
 XIX. 
 
 Avoid her and fly, 
 
 As Joseph of old, 
 Though even your garment 
 
 In her hands she may hold. 
 And, oh ! my dear daughters 
 
 Of Zion, do n't be 
 Like the women of H — 11, 
 
 I 've described unto thee. 
 
 XX. 
 
 Break from the Gentile, 
 The world, and the devil ; 
 
 Our Latter-day Saints 
 
 In their harems can revel. 
 
 - f Key. 
 
RHYMES, ON MOllMON UTAH. 11-i 
 
 Take you many wives. 
 
 And concubines, too^ 
 And the Lord will be with you, 
 
 Whatevei- you do. 
 
 XXI. 
 
 This is the voice 
 
 Of our Almighty God, 
 And Brigham, his servant, 
 
 Now gives you his word, 
 Keep all your secrets 
 
 Forever from view ; 
 Be a good Morman, 
 
 And then you will do. 
 
 See Key. 
 
114 RHYMES, OX .MORMON UTAH. 
 
 JETER, OR THE DAYS' DOINGS OF A 
 SALT LAKE CITY POLICE COURT. 
 
 Do you know Jeter ? 
 
 Jeter the great; 
 He of the City Hall, 
 
 Sitting in state. 
 Jeter the learned — 
 
 The deeply profound 
 In the mysteries of law, 
 
 Where quibbles abound.* 
 
 You do n't know Jeter ! 
 
 Then your wisdom is naught ; 
 You do n't knoAv Jeter ! 
 
 Then you 've never been caught 
 In the shadows of night. 
 
 With a dear mam-selle ; 
 'Yont the wee sma' hours, 
 
 On a bit of a swell.* 
 
 You do n't know Jeter ! 
 
 Then you 've never been drunk ; 
 ' In 3'our composition 
 
 There 's little of spunk. 
 You do n't know Jeter * 
 
 Jeter of ours, — 
 Then your name 's not " Joe," 
 
 Our own Joe Bowers, — * 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 115 
 
 Patsey Marely — Beigan — 
 
 Nor old Mrs. Jones ;* 
 If it were, you 'd know him, 
 
 Clean into your bones. 
 Know him ! the devil 
 
 Himself, only knows 
 Mephistophiles, 
 
 In his own family clothes. 
 
 Ask Uncle Sam's boys, — 
 
 Our boys in blue ; 
 Do you know Jeter ? 
 
 Rather think they do. 
 Know the old porpoise ! 
 
 We know him indeed, 
 For often he 's made 
 
 Our pockets to bleed.* 
 
 Ask of the miners — 
 
 All — great and small, — 
 Big, round and fat. 
 
 Short, slim and tall. 
 Know the old whelp ? 
 
 We all know him well, 
 And pray for his daily 
 
 Descent into H — 11. 
 
 *See Kt-y. 
 
116 BHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 He has fined us and robbed us. 
 
 And treated us so, 
 He is sure of a nice 
 
 Littie furnace below.* 
 
 Many and many- 
 Deposits we \e. made^* 
 
 With big-headed Bill 
 And Jeter, — afraid — 
 
 In the lousey old jail 
 
 Our stamps would be stole, 
 
 Never thinking, that Je|er, 
 Would pocket the whole ! 
 
 Not leaving even 
 
 A four-bitty piece. 
 To get a square meal 
 
 When we get our release.* 
 /Surely must Justice 
 
 Be blind as a bat, 
 When she sits in the crown 
 
 Of Jeter's old hat. 
 
 This latter day saint 
 Is a Doctor, beside, — 
 
 A preacher — ah, then. 
 In the pitch of his pride ! 
 
 Kej. 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH 117 
 
 He will rant at the Gentile, 
 
 And tell you what he, 
 Came out in the wilderness 
 
 Here for to see. 
 
 Says Jeter, the preacher, 
 
 Whenever you see 
 A soldier in blue — 
 
 Wherever you be — 
 In company with one 
 
 Of these girls of the town, 
 Take a gun, and shoot 
 
 Both the miscreants down.* 
 
 He will warrant no law 
 
 For the act can be found, 
 For Jeter, the Coroner, 
 
 Will not be round.* 
 Thus he counsels the people 
 
 On God's Sabbath day, 
 How securely and easy. 
 
 To murder and slay. 
 
 He preaches that this 
 
 Is the counsel of God 
 And he is His servant. 
 
 To preach you His word. 
 
 *Se« Key. 
 
118 RHYMES, ON MOKMON UTAH. 
 
 Is there blasphemy — wickedness 
 
 Murderous spite, 
 More hellish than this. 
 
 In the blackness of night ? 
 
 Did you ever see Jeter, 
 
 When cases were sparse ? 
 And his court lacked even 
 
 One subject for farce ? 
 How sunken and joyless 
 
 His great flabby face ; 
 How uneasy and restles^ 
 
 His shuffling pace.* 
 
 All the world has gone wrong, — 
 
 Not a case to be tried ; 
 Bill and Jeter^ disconsolate, 
 
 Sit down side by side. 
 Not a drunk, not a fight. 
 
 Not a sweet-scented job, 
 Not a man, nor a woman, 
 
 To-day can they rob. 
 
 Not a Gentile to fleece, 
 Not a cent to be made, — 
 
 Send out the Cops * 
 
 On a commercial street raid. 
 
 ♦See Key. 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. lit 
 
 Law and humanity . 
 
 Who cares for law ? 
 Down with the domicils,* 
 Who cares a straw ? 
 J Besides, did n't Paul, 
 / Long, long ago, say, 
 i. The heathen 's a law 
 • To himself, in his way? 
 
 A law to themselves 
 
 Are Jeter and court ; 
 A law to himself 
 
 Is Jeter's rare fort.* 
 Jeffries, the fiend, — 
 
 Why, Jeffries was mild, — 
 Nero, the tyrant. 
 
 Was only a child. 
 
 Pontius Pilate, 
 
 That crucified Christ, 
 Wash'd his hands of the blood 
 
 In less than a trice. 
 Meaner, more cruel. 
 
 And darker in blood, 
 Is Jeter, the Mormon 
 
 Latter day-Thug. 
 
 'Set- Key. 
 
120 RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 You do n't know Jeter ? 
 
 Then your name 's not Ewing,* 
 That " sets up jobs " 
 
 For his own undoing. 
 A respectable 
 
 San Francisco hag, 
 Whose ulti-ma-tJmle, 
 
 Is to carry the swag.* 
 
 An intelhgent, decent, 
 
 Bawd madam. 
 Who boards a Latter-day 
 
 Saint for a sham. 
 Takes in, in a quiet, 
 
 Domestic way, 
 Elderly gentlemen 
 
 For what they pay.* 
 
 Rooms to let — 
 
 On the basement floor ; 
 Codfish boarding 
 
 Sign on the door. 
 Blackmails gents 
 
 Who do n't come down,- 
 Sends 'em to Jeter,* 
 
 Or out of the town. 
 
 ♦See Key. 
 
laivMEs, ON :mormon utah. 121 
 
 Sometimes she gets 
 
 Her grasping" band, 
 In the teeth of a tartar 
 
 Kind of man.* 
 T is then old Jeter 
 
 Makes her pay, 
 Down with a hundred, 
 
 And out of the way.* 
 
 What matter, she rents 
 
 Of a Mormon saint, 
 A queer little dobe, 
 
 That needs some paint. 
 On Second street, south, 
 
 By first one west. 
 I know, and you know. 
 
 How it is yourself.* 
 
 You do n't know Jeter ! 
 
 Then your name 's not Flint ; 
 If it were, you would know. 
 
 Just here what 's meant. 
 Flint versus Jeter, 
 
 In the U. S. court. 
 Stands boldly out 
 
 On the docket report.* 
 
 "See Key. 
 
122 RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 Cora and Kate, against 
 
 Jeter and crew. 
 Ask for a judgment 
 
 Of just what 's due. 
 If justice and law 
 
 Be still in the land, 
 These women will get, 
 
 What they rightly demand. 
 No matter how good, 
 
 Or bad, they may be, 
 They are citizens here. 
 
 In the land of the free.* 
 
 They live where justice 
 
 Must surely be done ; 
 Where even the " Mormon " 
 
 Will pay for his fun. 
 Must pay for their fun. 
 
 We all know it well, — 
 Shall pay for their fun, 
 
 Or be driven to H — ^11. 
 
 No matter how Flint, 
 Or Conway, may stand, 
 
 They 're not a bit worse 
 Than the Bee-hive clan ; 
 
 *See Key. 
 
KHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 12^ 
 
 They 're not a whit worse 
 
 Than the " Lion-house Bawd," 
 
 Who 's as guilty as they — 
 Before man and God,* 
 
 By the infinite law 
 
 Of causes, that tell 
 If Young goes to Heaven, 
 
 They can 't go to H— 11.* 
 
 You do n't know Jeter ? 
 
 Then you never kept bar, 
 Never have you seen 
 
 Brig-Hampton's star. 
 Never paid a hundred 
 
 In greenbacks down, 
 All to the credit 
 
 Of Salt Lake town ; 
 So as to make 
 
 Some Mormon Bishop rich, 
 By grading a street 
 
 Or cutting: a water-ditch.* 
 
 You do n't know Jeter ? 
 
 Then you never heard " slang," 
 Never have you served 
 
 On his chain-ball gang. 
 
 ♦See Key. 
 
124 RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 You do n't know Jeter ? 
 
 Then you never wanted bail ; 
 Never have you been 
 
 In Salt Lake jail. 
 
 You do n't know Jeter . 
 
 Then your not a Gentile ; 
 If you were all the blood 
 
 In your veins would " bile," 
 At the way and manner, 
 
 This Mormon knave. 
 The bodies of women 
 
 And men enslave. 
 
 See Jeter, some morning. 
 
 When the jail is filled up. 
 How oft to the basement 
 
 He goes with a cup. 
 Quaffs hearty, and laughs 
 
 In demoniac glee ; 
 On his fingers he counts 
 
 Cases, twenty and three.* 
 
 Five drunks, three fights. 
 And a lasciv — Co-hab,* 
 
 With more in perspective 
 If some persons blab. 
 
 *See Key. 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 125 
 
 One rape on a sweet 
 
 Mormon girl of the town, 
 By Cameron — Good God! 
 
 But Jeter '11 come down. 
 
 One disorderly one 
 
 By the "gentle Aurine," 
 Who strides with the regal 
 
 Step of a queen. 
 An assault, it is said 
 
 With intention to kill ; 
 A kock-down in '' style," 
 
 By Brass-knuckle Phil.* 
 
 Two profanes, by a pair, 
 
 Of soldiers in blue ; 
 Five larks, by the 
 
 Liveliest, jolliest crew. 
 One horrible case 
 
 Of seduction, by A . 
 
 Alternate, " to marry," 
 
 O'' down with " the pay."* 
 
 One house-break, by 
 
 Major C. and his son, 
 Wlio frightened old " Tough," 
 
 In their innocent fun.* 
 
 *SeeKej 
 
V26 KHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 One murder, — one — 
 
 But sad to relate, 
 The murderer 
 
 Suicides out of his fate. 
 Whereupon, Jeter 
 
 Looks blank in the face, 
 Chagrined at being 
 
 Beat out of a case.* 
 
 Time ! cries Jeter ! 
 
 The clock strikes ten. 
 Ho, there, Johnny ! ■' 
 
 Bring in the men. 
 First, all the drunks ; 
 
 We '11 make short work — 
 Send for 'em. Bill — 
 
 Read the names. Clerk. 
 Any deposits ? By whom, 
 
 And how much ? 
 Bring in the cripple., 
 
 He with the crutch.* 
 
 No money, and can 't work, 
 Let the poor devil rip , 
 
 Salt Lake, and Jeter, 
 Won't get a nip. 
 
 *SeeKey. 
 
RHYIMES, ON MORMON UTAH, 127 
 
 Deposits, " twenty," 
 
 Ten and thirty-five — 
 Out go the drunks. 
 
 Three, four and five. 
 
 No deposits, say you. 
 
 By numbers one and two ? 
 Damnation, Brig. ! 
 
 This will never do. 
 Number " one," the cripple, — 
 
 Got his bed and board, 
 So much money 
 
 Stolen from the Lord.* 
 
 Number " two " is hearty 
 
 And stout, so you say, 
 Thirty days on chain gang. 
 
 Or thirty dollars pay. 
 Three fights, by Gentiles, 
 
 Fifty dollars each — 
 All on deposit. 
 
 That '11 mend the breach.* 
 
 Walk in the dirty — 
 Lasciv. — co-hab. 
 
 Say, there. Brig., 
 Any more to blab ? 
 
 ♦See Ke.v. 
 
128 RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 Fine him a hundred, 
 Fine the girl the same ; 
 
 So says the law, 
 
 Can Jeter be to blame ?* 
 
 » 
 What does it matter, 
 
 The Prophet's eighteBn, 
 Not a whit better 
 
 Than this night queen. 
 Is not he the servant 
 
 Of the ^' Great most High " ? 
 Give him all the " harlots " 
 
 His money can buy.* 
 
 A Latter-day Saint, 
 
 And the chosen of God, 
 The high chief bugler 
 
 And Salt Lake Bawd. 
 What does it matter, 
 
 Jeter has two. 
 Not a whit better, 
 
 Than the co-hab. creW.* 
 
 Take all the Po-ligs., 
 
 From Brigham Young down, 
 
 From the soles of their feet 
 To the top of their crown ; 
 
 *See Key. 
 
HHYMi:S, ON MORMON UTAH. I'iD 
 
 ^' Lasciv. — CO - 7ia5." — 
 
 Should be written in red, 
 From top to the bottom 
 Of their lecherous bed.* 
 
 Concubine, harlot, 
 
 Wanton or bawd, 
 Should be printed in scarlet, 
 
 So help me God ! 
 On every Mormon, 
 
 Polygamous brute ; 
 Till the words brought forth 
 
 Legitimate fruit. 
 
 In Cameron's case, 
 
 Three thousand for bail ; 
 In default tliereof, 
 
 Send him to jail. 
 What matter, 't was only 
 
 A difference in price, 
 'Twixt he and the girl 
 
 Of the value of vice.* 
 
 She 's a " modest," sweet 
 
 Mormon girl of the town ; 
 The price of her lechy — 
 
 Shall never come down. 
 
 ♦See Key. 
 
IJO IIHYMES, OX MORMON UTAH. 
 
 Had he paid the price, 
 
 There was no cause for rape, 
 
 But he did not, and so 
 He is now in the scrape.* 
 
 Twenty -five, in the case 
 
 Of the gentle Aurine, 
 For telling a '' Hood-lum " — 
 
 Just what she means. 
 Ten, for contempt 
 
 Of Jeter's grand court ; 
 Thirty-five, for rasping — 
 
 A Police sport.* 
 
 Fifteen, for assault 
 
 With intention to kill. 
 Discharge, '' without day," 
 
 Brass-knuckle Phil.* 
 Two profanes, ten and five, 
 
 Larkies the same, 
 'T is written in the law, 
 
 And Jeter 's not to blame 
 
 In Mr. A 's case, 
 
 It is " marriage or jail," 
 ** Come, god of Love," 
 
 And away with the bail,* 
 
 *S€e Key. 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 131 
 
 Twenty-five, each, 
 
 For Major C and his son, 
 
 For daring to make 
 
 Old Mother Tough run.* 
 And now for the murder. 
 
 But the murderer 's gone 
 To that " bourne " from whence 
 
 No travelers return.* 
 
 What a glorious day I 
 
 For Jeter and Bill. 
 Here, Johnny, bring 
 
 Up the glasses, and fill : 
 Here 's confusion to Gentile 
 
 Damn them to H — U, 
 We '11 fine 'em and rob 'em, 
 
 Our coffers to swell. 
 This beautiful City 
 
 Of Zion, shall be 
 The home of the Latter- 
 
 Day saints, like we.* 
 
 We will live in our lusts. 
 We '11 steal and we '11 rob, 
 
 And daily, for Gentiles, 
 We '11 put up a job. 
 
 *See Key. 
 
182 BHYMES, ON MOKMON UTAH. 
 
 Till God in his mercy 
 Shall call us all home, 
 
 To live with him always. 
 And never to roam. 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 133 
 
 LI-ZE VERSUS BRIGHAM YOUNG. 
 
 Hark now, boys ! here is fun ; 
 Hear it in Gath — in Askelon ! 
 Hear — oh, yes, the suit 's begun, 
 
 Li-ze versus Brigliam Young. 
 Hear ye all, oh, yes, hear ye, 
 Through the land — across the 8ea- 
 Whereever Po-ligs. may be, 
 Brig, and Li-ze do n't agree. 
 
 Brig's time is up — the die is cast — 
 
 Old Brigham's got his fingers fast, 
 
 Li-ze sued old Brig, at last — 
 Nail her colors to the mast. 
 
 Sued in earnest, not in fun, — 
 By his tender, loving one, — 
 Funniest fun, now under sun ; 
 Li-ze versus Brigham Young. 
 
 By the papers there I see. 
 Lawyers are on the qui vie ;* 
 U. S. Court the Judge must be, 
 'Twixt old Brig, and his Li-ze. 
 
 'See Key. 
 
lo4 RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 Let her rip ! 't is plainly seen, 
 Of old Brigham's seventeen, 
 Li-ze was the harem's queen ; 
 Yet old Brig, has done her mean. 
 
 Go in gal I the track is clear, 
 Every one bids you good cheer ; 
 Go in, Li-ze, never fear ! 
 None for Brig, will drop a tear. 
 
 Now at last the tale is told, 
 How this blatant Mormon scold — 
 Who in crime is growiitg^ old — 
 Drives his wives from out the fold* 
 
 Cruel, savage, and unjust — 
 This poor worm of common dust — 
 Who has reveled in his lust, 
 Calls himself — Trustee in trust.* 
 
 Trustee of the Mormon Church ; 
 On its bee hive he v/ould perch ; 
 For fresh victims he would search — 
 When despoiled — leave in the lurch. 
 
 Gorilla of the human clan, — 
 Gorilla or Ouranc^-outang ; 
 Husband, father, Lnotlier man, 
 Brigham proves tlio Darwin plan. 
 
 * See Kej. 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 136 
 
 This cold-blooded, vicious brute, 
 Who all virtue would uproot, — 
 And all truth and wisdom hoot, — 
 In iimince is very cute. 
 
 For " ways and means" — his only care- 
 Men nor women does he spare; 
 Seizing on the lion's share — 
 He became a millionaire.* 
 
 Yet his wives may starve and die, 
 While his children weep and cry, 
 Right before his saintly eye ; 
 So, at least, swears his Li-ze 
 
 Tilden, Maxwell, Jones & Co. 
 Are getting up the 3Iormon show, 
 Salt Lake papers now may blow — 
 Hip liurrah ! hurrah ! hur-oh ! 
 
 Since Ann Eliza ran away ! 
 The hounds have got old Brig, at bay ; 
 They 're bound to make that Prophet pay ; 
 Hip ! hip ! hip ! hurrah ! hurrah ! 
 
 As soon as this divorce is through. 
 
 There 's eighteen more of Brigham's crew. 
 
 Will know exactly what to do ; 
 
 Alas for Brig. — things look d d hlus. 
 
136 RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 AMELIA GONE, 
 
 What is this I hear, 
 
 And do I hear aright, — 
 Amelia gone, 't is said ; 
 
 Left Brigham in the night? 
 Brigham's Amelia gone ! 
 
 And why, and wherefore ? 
 Brigham's sad, I know, 
 
 Disconsolate therefor,* 
 
 Thou favored spousal 
 
 The last of seventeen ; 
 Favored above woman — 
 
 The harem's beauteous queen. 
 And art thou gone 
 
 From the Prophet's presence ? 
 Out from Mormon, 
 
 From its very essence. 
 
 Left the domestic Hell ; 
 
 The den — the hole — 
 Left disgusted 
 
 In thy true woman's soul. 
 Huzza ! the tide is up. 
 
 It doth arise — 
 Here in the camp of Brigham, 
 
 Among his wives. 
 
 'Se*- Kev. 
 
RHYMES, ON MORMON UTAH. 137 
 
 Napoleon and Samson, 
 
 And the old tyrant Herod, 
 With many an egotist, 
 
 Lono- sinee buried. 
 Found at the last, 
 
 To their very great surprise • 
 They were stuck in the mud 
 
 After losing their wives. 
 
 Come, Brother Brigham, 
 
 Bolster up your soul, 
 Or may be you '11 be after 
 
 Losing of the whole 
 Of the darling nineteen,* 
 
 The apples of your eye, 
 With nothing left for you. 
 
 But root, hog, or die. 
 
 The earth is aquake, 
 
 Listen to the roar ; 
 Hearken Brother Brigham ! 
 
 It 's at your very door. 
 The Mormon columns shake, 
 
 The capitals do fall : 
 Down comes the tabernacle, 
 
 Polygamy and all. 
 
 *See Key. 
 
138 RHYMES, OIT MORMON UTAH. 
 
 OLD PO-LIG ON HIS LAST LEGS. 
 
 The glory of Zion is waning,* 
 
 Even Brigham, the Prophet, is dumb, 
 
 For the Avords — " Mene, tekel upharsin," 
 Are read in the Kght of the sun. 
 
 Weighed in the balance, and wanting, 
 Is the verdict of angels on high ; 
 
 Polygamy's days, they are numbered, 
 On his last legs — he must die. 
 
 Old Po-lig. was a "jolly, good fellow,''* 
 Stout and hearty, and hale, you may say ; 
 
 For near thirty years in the Basin, 
 He had pretty much his own way. 
 
 He married the young and the pretty. 
 And the widows, who were well to do, 
 
 The rich, and the gay, and the Avitty, 
 But never the homeliest crew. 
 
 He preached a new gospel of Jesus,* 
 Giving riglit both to murder and steal ; 
 
 And if in his lust he was burning, 
 He immediately got a new " Seal." 
 
 *See Koy. 
 
nnvMEs. ox MomroN itaii. 189 
 
 He miirried quite often, and muchly * 
 Of strangers, and those near akin ; 
 
 He married the mother and daughters, 
 With nieces and cousins thrown in.* 
 
 He took many wives, kite and early, 
 He traded in poor women's souls ; 
 
 Old Po-lig. was a ver}' fast fellow, 
 
 Doing nothing by halves, but by wlioles.* 
 
 If to marry were good, he 'd do V)etter, 
 He Yl marry over and over again ; 
 
 To seal them and take them to Heaven, 
 Was surely a very good plan.* 
 
 In the street, he would stop a dear brother, 
 " You 've a daugliter I greatly adore, 
 
 I '11 give you mine for yours." — '• 'Tis a bargain!*' 
 Is there any thin-;' meaner or lower ?* 
 
 There 's a gentle, sweet maid of another. 
 She 's a lover, but what did he care? 
 
 The DaniLes will settle the bother, 
 For the nuptials of Po-lig. prei:)are.* 
 
 And so the old, leeherous monster. 
 
 Under foot trampled all that V divine, 
 
 Being piously set and determined. 
 
 That all that are young shall be mine. 
 
 See Key. 
 
i"40 IIHYMKS, ON MORMON UTAH. 
 
 And so it was, *' dead sure, and certain,^' 
 Till the U. P. and C. P. were made. 
 
 From that time till now, Mr. Po-lig. 
 Has traveled a very steep grade.* 
 
 The leaven 's at work, it is rising, 
 
 The fowl has been scared from her eggs, 
 
 The Mormons are apostatizing. 
 Old Po-lig. is on his last legs! 
 
 ♦SeeKey. 
 
KEY-KEY. 
 
 Inasmuch as the Mormon question involves a retention of 
 many fads a?id instances^ in a minute a7id detailed form^ the 
 relation of which might bring a blush of shame to the cheeks 
 of ^ly fair '' cou7itrywomej^' or cause a factious criticism by 
 the oi'er-fastidious Press ^ — yet the relation of which is abso- 
 lutely necessary to U7ider standing the 
 
 INFAMIES AND HORRORS 
 
 or 
 
 Modern Mormonism, 
 
 / have^ therefore^ prepared a 
 
 JVfo^t ^tkrtliii^ ^dt^ of Inimofklity 
 
 and heretofore unheard of 
 
 VILLAIITIES PHACTICEL BY THE MOHMONS, 
 
 In the name and by the authority of their Prophet, 
 President Brigham Young. 
 
 On applicationy the Key will be supplied to those who 
 purchase this work. 
 
 THE KE Y can be had by addressing the 
 
 \m\ PUBLISHING COMPAr(Y, 
 
 335 Watash Ave., CHICAGO, ILL. 
 
 PRICEy 25 cents ^ or with the Boek^ f 5 cents. Liberal 
 discount to Agents. 
 
M. 
 
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