□ I =] □ I I D ^ n D D D n 01 To Aid in Lowering the Cost of Living WILBUR CARRIER P I =11] p IZZZ ID ®tj? iarltng of tl|^ (^ahB A irama BY WILBUR CARRIER 'i Copyright, 1913. Copyright, 1914, by Wilbur Carrier. International Cop5Tights Secured All rights reserved in all countries except that the songs may be sung when not sung for profit. Right of recitation and playwright are specifically reserved. PUBLISHED BY WILBUR CARRIER Room 706, Title and Trust Building, Chicago, U. S. A. Twenty-five cents per copy by mail — no stamps ac- cepted — send money order, or wrap coin on all sides in a piece of newspaper and then wrap in heavy paper ( preferably thin pasteboard) of the length of the letter. Thirty cents per copy with music for four songs. Price of Notes from Drama (separately bound) is 10 cents per copy. \ SEP -41 9 !4 iCi.D 19551 Jt^^" It is hoped that this book will induce you to use your influence in favor of government regulation of the prices of the interstate trusts, the local trusts, the wholesale merchants, and the retail merchants. Those who lower the cost of living by lowering exorbitant retail prices will win the favor of the plain people. Act I. — The Dutchman and the Demon and the Darl- ing of the Gods. Act II. — The Woman and the Lawyer and the Darling of the Gods. Act III. — The Doctor and the Lawyer and the Darling of the Gods. Act IV.— The Bible Class. Act v.— The People's Goat. Heading for the programs that are to be distributed to the audience: Act I is a Farce. The conclusion of the Farce illus- trates figuratively the present condition of the public. Acts II and III form a Comedy. The conclusion of the Comedy illustrates figuratively the hoped-for condi- tion of the public. Acts IV and V form a Social Problem Play, for which the Farce and the Comedy are an introduction and a preparation. At first the devil and -afterwards the devil-lawyer is the evil genius of the play. In the play as a whole, the devil represents the evil, grafting spirit that animates the trusts and all those zvho bleed the public. In the farce and the comedy, the Dutchman represents the public. In the Social Problem Play, the clerk and his family are representatives of the public. The goat is the people's goat. ACT I.— A FARCE. the; DUTCHMAN AND THE DEMON AND THE DARLING OF THE GODS. A large Dutchman enters, dressed soniczvhat like a stage Dutchman and somezvhat like a G erman- American. Dutchman (bozvs). — Some philosophers told you that you are living too high. To help you reduce the cost of high living, I will chant a little song. When the Demon saw the Dutchman He didn't like his looks, And said that he'd give him Five hundred and seven years Of sauer-kraut and ashes — But he hasn't got him yet — But he hasn't got him yet. When the Dutchman saw the Demon He wasn't scared a bit; And laughed to hear him say, "Five hundred and seven years Of sauer-kraut and ashes !" For he hasn't got him yet — For he hasn't got him yet. (A devil enters chanting. The devil has horns, feet that suggest cloven feet, and a tail.) Devil — When the Dutchrnan. goes below. And the Demon getS' his due. He'll give that Dutchman Five hundred and seven years Of sauer-kraut and ashes ! Dutchman — But he hasn't got him yet — But he hasn't got him yet. Devil — Not yet but soon. living tL filf ^Ik^^A"*** threaten to give the public a long period of plain r^Ztt. 7h.wft "^l"* staffs represents the efforts of the national government to regulate the b.g trusts with its big stick. The fist fight represente the efforts that have been made to regulate the local trusts. Dutchman (looking at the devil and laughing) — When the devil saw the Dutchman, he didn't Hke the looks of the darling. I'm not scared a bit. I can whip any devil I ever saw, and I can whip you. (They iight zvith varying success ivith dark, knotted staffs made from the branches of trees. Then the Dutch- man throzvs dozen his staff.) Dutchman — I can whip you with my bare fists — American style. (They put up their fists, and prepare to fight. After a little equal fighting, the devil has a decided advantage. Then, the devil hits the Dutchman a number of hard blozvs, and forces him backzvard across the stage. The Dutchman in turn forces back the devil zvith several blozvs, and finally doubles him up and sends him reeling backzvard zvith a heavy blozv in the stomach.) Dutchman (laughing) — Even good people don't like to see the devil getting all the dividends ! (The Dutchman forces the devil back and chases him about the stage. Then the devil turns on the Dutchman and gives him rough usage.) Dutchman — If you chase the devil, he may catch you ! (After some more fighting, the devil strikes the Dutch- man a heavy blozv on the jazv, and then holds the hand that struck the blozv as though it zvere hurt. The Dutch- man holds his hand to his jazv for an instant, and then his face brightens.) Dutchman — The devil struck the Dutchman and hit him on the jaw, but it didn't hurt him any — the devil broke his fist ! (A goat enters zvith ribbons and adjustable bells on it horns and in a red jacket marked on each side. The Darling of the Gods. The goat is trained to rear on its hind legs, to pazv the air, to nod its head, and to do other tricks.) This is not a collection of jests but a very serious olav ae u,iii k^ „ a — 7T those who will read the Notes. venous piay, as will be evident to Read the Notes at the end of the book for each Act before reading the Act. THE DEMON AND THE Dutchman — Ah ! The darling of the gods ! Welcome, darling. (Speaks to the devil.) Here, take up the goat. (The devil refuses, and the Dutchman lifts up the goat on its hind legs.) Dutchman — I took up a task that even the devil rejected. (The Dutchman makes the goat perform its tricks. He then kneels on one knee beside the rearing goat, and makes amusing gestures with the forelegs of the goat while he sings and the goat nods its head.) ThS Mascot Goat. I'm the children's friend and the sailor's mate, In the mock parade I ride in state — If you sail or you row, I bring luck as you know — I'm a mascot wherever I go. I'm a mascot wherever I go — I'm a mascot wherever I go — In the regions above or the realms below, I'm a mascot wherever I go. The admiral's frown when butted down Amuses me, for don't you see, Though "Ad" may be Of high degree, I'm more secure than he. I'm more secure than he — I'm more secure than he — Though "Ad" may be of high degree, I'm more secure than he. (The Dutchman rises to sing the rest of the song, and the goat rears and paws the air, or does other appropriate tricks, at each chorus.) The Mascot Goat. Words by WILBUR CARRIER. Allegro moderato. Music by SAMUEL H. SPECK. 1. I'm the chiMren's friend and the sail or's mate, In the 2. The admiral's frown wten butt • eH down A - 'i I bring > ou fame in the base ball game— He ^m^ 'm^ -- H-r^ m^^m m^: ?^^ ?^4^^ ^ m^mmmmm^^^ mm ESfel mock par-ade I ride instate— If you sail or you row, I brirj; luck as you know— I'm a mus - es me, for don't you see. Though "Ad" may be Of hi.jh de - gree, I'm wins who holds to me. It is luck for all In tho game of ball, When you ^&^£^^i:Ll=i: '111?' i^ ^mM :iMi CopyriK'ht 1914 by Wilbur ("arner. International Copyright secured 8 THE DEMON AND THE (The goat drops down zvith its legs doubled under it and with its head to the floor and bleats.) When you lose your hold on me — When you lose your hold on me — The glooms get you and your title too, When you lose your hold on me. (The goat rolls over on its back, and zvaves its legs, and bleats.) Terry lost for he lost me — Terry lost for he lost me — He was all at sea when in lack of me — Terry lost for he lost me. (Repeat this chorus.) If you seek to gain wealth, health, or fame, Then hold your grip and me. If you lose your grip All things will slip — Then hold your grip and me. When you hold your grip and your goat ! When you hold your grip and your goat ! O, the joys that rise as you grasp the prize, When you hold your grip and your goat ! When you don't let them get your goat! When you don't let them get your goat ! O, the joys that rise as you grasp the prize, When you don't let them get your goat ! Devil — Did you notice that the price of goats has raised ? Never did ? Well ! The price of goat meat has raised — ask your butcher! The People's Goat. Words by WILBUR CARRIER. Tempo di Gavotte. Muiic by SAMUEL H. SPECK. Moderate. :f=f. ^- t^ j;;3^1^^E^;g ^|5s^^= When thf Packers raised the price of meat, You and yours were completely beat. Their graft wai great, as i3=5=3^i^3^^^ 9* f * ,« -• — J — ^ ^••"- m fzzz^^^t^- =1= -^ — »- ' f f^ SS I I ^^l^^i^^^^i^g^^ you did note, For they stole your coin and got your goat- For they stole your coin and got your goat. JSJE ^ il^ -0—0—*- 1=^^51^ Copyright lOl^-by Wilbur Carrier. International Copyright secured. ^^pl^il^^lii^^i^iii^^iipi The cries of the poor made a piteous plea, But they heeded not in their mer- ry glee; For the 1 ' I ^E :E*: ^^^m^ ^^ Pack - ers' camp had A - lad - din's lamp, When they got your coin and me. When they • ^ 9 3F=l=iJ=? i=i=f=3=iii ■^O'l =i^^^^^=i^=mm^i^^^m -rr :^ got your coin and me— When they got your coin and me— The got your coin and your goat! When they got your coin and your goat! The ?l=f=«^ ,»** ^3^ ^g m^mi ■^r m- ym-- * — j^ i^^^mT^sm^mm^iw^^m j-2- Packers' camp h^d A - laddin's lamp, When they got your coin and me. When they me. Packers' camp had A - laddin's lamp, When they got your coin and your goat! \m =t^^ itt^^ mm ^m im f^ '^p-i r -:a? u The People's Goat. I I I Hatch & Lovetand, Music Printers. Los Angelei. DARLING OF THE GODS (The Dntchuian sings.) The People's Goat. When the Packers raised the price of meat, You and yours were completely beat. Their graft was great, as you did note. For they stole your coin and got your goat — For they stole your coin and got your goat. The cries of the poor made a piteous plea, But they heeded not in their merry glee ; For the Packers' camp had Aladdin's lamp, When they got your coin and me. (The goat drops dozvn zvith its legs doubled under it and its head to the floor, and bleats.) When they got your coin and me — When they got your coin and me — The Packers' camp had Aladdin's lamp, When they got your coin and me. (The goat rolls over on its back, ivaves its legs, and bleats.) When they got your coin and your goat ! When they got your coin and your goat ! The Packers' camp had Aladdin's lamp. When they got your coin and your goat ! {Repeat this chorus.) Devil — Well! I never did anything like that! Dutchman — Your name is Ananias ! Your brother started the scheme, and you helped it along. Once upon a time, an avaricious shoemaker borrowed a fellow workman's wax. At first he said, "Lend me 'your' wax." Later he spoke of "our" wax. After a while he said, "Who's got 'my' wax?" Devil — I never did anything like that either ! Dutchman — You are Ananias the second time ! You tempted that man to claim his brother's property. (Turns to the audience.) \0 THE DEMON AND THE This is a Dutch goat, but first he was an Irish goat. Straight! (Nods his head.) Straight Dutch-Irish joke! Mike McCarty raised him. When his boys were not fighting one another, they teased the goat. Back of Mike's place was a footbridge over a stream, and the boys would tease the goat until it charged them on to this bridge. The little rascals had a board to which they had fastened some rubber car springs stolen from the railroad company. They would raise this board on the bridge, and then the goat charging like a white streak would strike the rubber, bound up into the air, and fall splash into the water. That tickled the boys, and Mike nearly died laughing when he first saw it. One day the devil, just to make trouble, tempted Mike to play that little game himself as a joke on the goat. But Mike was not so nimble as the boys, as he stooped to raise the board, the goat caught him — and Mike sold that goat to me. (The Dutchman beats time on his hand as he sings, and the goat rears.) Mike sold that goat to me — Mike sold that goat to me — When he saw stars and the son of Mars, Mike sold that goat to me. Mike sold that goat to me — Mike sold that goat to me — Yes ! when he saw stars and the son of Mars, Mike sold that goat to me. (Repeat this chorus.) Devil — That is a true story. I was there. Dutchman — So Mike said ! and Mike told me that that imp of Satan was a discredit to the old Nick himself! Mike and the goat and even the devil are witnesses to this story. DARLING OF THE GODS H Devil — I have been a witness before. Dutchman (looking sideivise at the devil) — I know you have ! The lawyer on my wife's side hired you. (The devil gives the Dutchman a vicious ram in the side with his horns. The Dutchman holds his hands to the hurt, and makes a grimace of pain.) Dutchman — That makes the devil wag his tail! I'd just like to have a dollar's worth of demons ! I believe he's incorporated ! (At a motion from the Dutchman, the Dutchman, devil, and goat stand in a line, facing the audience.) Dutchman (in low voice) — Wait till I get hold of the coat tail of that demon. (The demon has no coat.) (The Dutchman and the devil put up their fists, and at a nod from the Dutchman they both strike at imaginary enemies in front while the goat rears, pazvs the air,' and nods.) Dutchman — Fighting against the world ! (All three turn their backs to the audience, and iight at imaginary enemies at the rear of the stage. Then the devil, grinning, turns round toivard the audience, and with hand to mouth speaks in a stage whisper while pointing at the other tzvo that are still fighting backward.) Devil — When the Dutchman saw that the battle was going against him, he turned about and fought against himself in order to be on the winning side ! (While all three are turning to face the audience, the Dutchman treads heavily on the devil's foot. The devil stands on one foot and holds the hurt foot with both hands while his face is conculsed with pain.) Dutchman (laughing) — The Dutchman didn't see the devil, and stepped upon his toe. Devil (trying to put his weight on the hurt foot) — That makes me feel faint. *Some of the trusts have received some blows. The complaints of the devil about his hurt foot illustrate the whines of the street car, express, and railroad companies over the regulation of their rates. (See the simile and footnote on p. 34.) n THE DEMON AND THE Dutchman — I notice you don't wag your tail. Devil — My big brother will get you ! He'll sauer- kraut your ashes ! (All three stand in line facing the audience, the goat rearing.) Dutchman (bozvs) — You have seen the Dutchman, the demon, and the darling of the gods; and the darling was a mascot. If you should ever see a woman, a lawyer, and the darling of the gods, you may know that the darling is in trouble. (All three bozu and turn to leave the stage, the Dutch- man leading the goat. The devil snatches the goat and runs off the stage with it, meanwhile grinning at the Dutchman. The Dutchman chases the devil.) Dutchman — Stop him ! Stop him ! (The Dutchman stops, puts his hands on his knees, and doubles up in agony as he looks after the disappearing goat.) Dutchman — The devil's got my goat! The devil's got my goat ! ACT II. THE WOMAN AND THE LAWYER AND THE DARLING OF THE GODS. Characters of the Comedy in Acts II and III. Oscar Meyers, the Dutchman (the German- American of Act I), a teaming contractor. Agnes, his first wife (--an American). Rose, his second wife (an American). The doctor. A devil-lawyer. The Darling of the Gods (The Mascot Goat). *The devil-lawyers represent the lawyers that framed the organizations of the trusts on unscrupulous lines. (See p. 38.) In Act II the devil tempts the wife of the Dutchman. In the scene given on p. 27, a "good" lawyer gives "good" advice to the grocers. These scenes express the same idea in different ways. (See p. 39.) AI GENERAL NOTES The Farce in Act I is an allegory and the Comedy in Acts II and III is another allegory. The explanations are given on the inserted leaves, in the footnotes, and at the end of the book. The Play, and also the book as a whole, is written in the interests of the wage-earners (including salaried men), the poor, and the oppressed; and it is designed to aid in lowering the cost of living by showing the ways in which the local trusts have been bleeding the people, by designating and denouncing the grafters, by showing how retail prices may be regulated by local organizations of the plain people, and by helping to arouse such a public sentiment that graft will be suppressed in one way if not in another. AN OPEN LETTER Mr. Politician: — If the plain people get an idea that there is a secret sym- pathetic connection between your party and the local grafters by reason of political contributions, that idea will greatly interfere with the support that the plain people now give your party. You must choose between the grafters and the plain people, for you cannot serve both masters. The money and political influence of the merchants, as a class, have been heartlessly and unscrupulously used in the formation and protection of local trusts. Most merchants eith&r belong to an organized local trust or have an under- standing with one another with reference to the maintenance of prices that practically makes them members of a local trust — members of a combination in restraint of trade.* Is it not time that you should use your influence for the enact- ment of laws prohibiting the giving of political contributions •Most of the farmers' Associations also are combinations in restraint of trade. Without exception, all unreasonable combinations in restraint of trade oppress the people. These farmers' Associations control a large vote, but those who buy food could, if organized, control a larger vote. A2 TO AID IN LOWERING by merchants? Would it not be better to enact laws that will require that all nomination and election expenses shall be paid by the State, and that will prohibit the buying or the selling of the influence of a political boss with a legislator? If each of the great political parties should cease its present dependence upon the campaign contributions of the local trusts, these parties would then, as you know, give more service to the people and less service to the local trusts. If you have been sent to the capital of your State, should not your actions show you to be a champion of the people and not a champion of the local trusts? If you have done little or nothing to suppress the graft of the merchants, you have not been a friend of the people. If you have been sent to Washington, and have been busy protecting the little trusts from the big ones, is it not time that you, as one of the leaders of your party, should use your influence in your own State in protecting the plain people from their oppressors, the local trusts that make the cost of living high? If you are unwilling to do so, you will be unable to retain your hold on the plain people, for you will be unworthy of their respect. If you are "afraid" to commit your party to such a reck- less policy as that of the indiscriminate abolition of graft, will you not exert your influence in the formation of local organizations designed to abolish graft? If each one of the great political parties could be induced to become the enemy of the local grafters, these grafters would be heloless. There is no such hope at present, for these parties prefer to be the friends of the local grafters (their financial supporters), but you might be a friend of the people. GENERAL NOTES In comparison with the leading countries of Europe, little effort is made in this country to prevent the local merchants from giving short weight and short measure, from selling impure or deceitfully adulterated or deceitfully defective goods, or from using false advertisements and recommenda- tions. This shows at a glance the unscrupulousness of both the merchants and the officeholders as classes and the strong THE COST OF LIVING A3 hold of the merchants of this country upon the politicians and oiiftceholders of all the leading parties. It is well known that such misgovernment as is exhibited in the larger American cities would be a discredit to any civilized people. The mer- chants as a class are to a great extent responsible for this. They do not want officeholders that are too honest. They do not want any genuine reform for fear that their own iniquities might be touched— that their rapid money-making might be interfered with. For the well-being of their families and the honor of their country, it is time that the American people should remove this reproach.* NOTES FOR ACT I The fight with stafifs represents the efforts of the big trusts to control the national government and the efforts of the national government (through its agents, Roosevelt, Taft, and Wilson) to regulate the big trusts with its big stick. This conflict has been indecisive, for the big trusts have failed to control the national government, and the national government has failed to lower the cost of living noticeably by its dis- memberments of the big trusts. If each of the smaller trusts into which a big trust is divided raises its prices, that does not lower the cost of living very much. The people will finally force the national government to regulate the prices of all the trusts that do an interstate business. The trusts that bleed the people the most are the local trusts (chiefly organized merchants and farmers). The fist fight at close quarters represents the attempts of the people through their local governments to regulate these local trusts. So far in this conflict, the local trusts have had the advantage, for they have usually charged as high prices as they pleased, and the public has paid the bills; but the people will finally force the local governments to regulate the prices of all the local trusts — that will lower the cost of living, and then the devil will be whipped. The expression of the Dutchman, as given on page 6, when he took up the goat, indicates the disagreeable task of those who reprove the grafters — a task intentionally made dis- *When the plain people know enough to organize and to present a united front to the grafters, the grafters will vanish. The plain people have the votes and they can rule this country if they will. To keep you divided at local elections into factions called parties, is one of the devices of your enemy to hold you in subjection (see pp. A9, A20, A23). A4 TO AID IN LOWERING agreeable by the grafters. The devil and his people try to keep things quiet. t They want no one to notice, to mention, or to interfere with their graft. They make a great effort to suppress "knocking." To this end, they and their agents use sneers and call those who oppose them and their works, "knockers," "tight-wads," "pikers," "muckrakers."t People who try to keep things quiet through a friendly feeling for the grafters, or because they receive some share of the graft, or through fear that exposure of actual conditions may injure the business prosperity of the city, — these people are allies of the grafters. For to aid in keeping things quiet is to aid in maintaining the present bloodsucking conditions. These allies of the grafters include many politicians, editors, bankers, real-estate boomers, and other business men. Also, the need of mutual support makes one grafter the natural ally of another grafter. Agitation is the only means of arousing such a public sentiment and of forming such an organization of the plain people that frightened public officials will abolish graft or be replaced by honest men. An aroused public sentiment is all that is necessary. The rest will follow — if not in the better way, then in the worse way. Who rule this country? Are they those who elect the officeholders, or are they those whose influence determines the names of the nominees or acts as a veto to the insertion upon political slates of the names of men who are to them undesirable? To whom do the officeholders usually show great deference — to the unorganized voters, or to those to whom they owe their nomination? Do the wage-earners JThrough their advertisements the local trusts control the expression of thought in most of the newspapers and magazines. Also, they control the expression of thought in most of the theaters (including moving- picture shows) ; for the theaters are run to make money, and their man- agers do not wish to oflfend a group of influential patrons. When the organized local grafters say, "Graft is my child — do not touch it," the newspaper, magazine, and theater managers bow in submission. tThe same man who denounces the graft of the big trusts and con- siders that in so doing he is a good citizen acting in the interests of the public calls a man who denounces the graft of the local trusts, a "muck- raker." The schoolboy knows on which side his bread is buttered — the grafter knows on which side his pocket-nerve is connected. THE COST OF LIVING A5 (including salaried men) have much to say about nomina- tions? If a special election is held to determine the nominees, and if some clique, or cliques, to which you do not belong, determines in advance the names from which you must make a selection if you do not wish to throw away your vote, do you actually have much to say about that nomination? Would it be unfair to the rest of the community if, for a change, the plain people should form an organization that would determine the names of the nominees? If one only of the great political parties should dare to try to abolish graft, the grafters could crush that party. If the plain people, irrespective of party, would form in each city a local organization designed to fight the grafters and to regu- late retail prices, grafting could be suppressed. Such organ- izations could force a lowering of the cost of living, and end the oppression of the people by the merchants; for, though the individual is helpless, organized men can do all things (see page A20). Different people cite different things as the chief cause of the present high cost of living, such as too high a tariff, the large trusts, the increased supply of gold, the scarcity of cattle, etc. Many of these people arc grafters, or agents or allies of the grafters, and above all things else they wish to keep you quiet while you are being bled — to keep you quiet by concealing the fact that graft is the one great cause of high retail prices (high compared with the price of labor). Many others (not all) of these people are politicians. The politicians wish to use any issue that will serve as a cart to carry them to Washington or the State capital or the city hall or the courthouse. They give you little in return for your votes except enough specious performances to keep you quiet, and they dare do little to lower the cost of living because they are under obligations to their financial supporters, the local trusts. The hollowness of the claim that the scarcity of cattle is the chief cause of the high retail price of beef is shown by the fact that the retail prices of provisions and other necessities are high even when there is no scarcity. Also, it is not just that a combination in restraint of trade should be allowed to take advantage of a scarcity to make unreasonable profits. To raise a dust about minor causes, real or assumed, of the high price of necessities, is a grafter's way of distracting attention from his graft.* The interstate trusts, local trusts, public officials, trade- folks, manufacturers, bankers, professional men, farmers, etc., are servants of the public. All servants of the public (except *See p. All for a discussion of the effect of the increased supply of gold. A6 ourselves) that bleed the public are grafters. All grafters, big and little, with their agents and allies and all those who directly or indirectly aid the grafters are reactionaries. Many men who call themselves progressives, and who are progres- sive with reference to the abolition of the graft of the big trusts, are themselves members of what is practically a local trust, and are a bad kind of grafters, hypocrites, and reac- tionaries.! Many a so-called progressive politician denounces the graft of the big trusts in scathing terms; but he does not really believe in a "square deal" for all — not exactly. He needs the votes of the farmers and the money of the mer- chants. These people are his friends. In the presence of their graft he is blind and deaf and dumb. "His spear knows a brother." Such a politician is a reactionary. Many men who call themselves progressives are reactionaries because they do not pull in line with the progressives but pull in a side direction and thus interfere with progress. Many men are reactionaries because they keep quiet and do nothing when they are imposed upon. They are the mud that clings to the cart wheel. The conclusion of the farce (p. 12) represents the present condition of the public. The devil has got the people's goat! Those who bleed you, those who prey upon you and your families are your enemies and you should be theirs. "They have got your goat!" Will you continue so tamely to submit to their thefts? Will you be the mud on the cart wheel? If you are men, and if you wish to better your condition by fighting efifectively in your own self defense, take a lesson from your enemy, unite and form in every city a non-partisan Association of the food buyers. So long as you are divided into factions, you are helpless. United in one Association, you can nominate and elect a set of officials who will regulate retail prices and curb the greed of the merchants and farmers. J tThese are the devil's kind of progressives (see pp. 25, 26). lEven though they have separate candidates at State and national elections, the Republicans, Democrats, Socialists, and Prohibitionists can unite at local elections (see p. A20). DARLING OF THE GODS [3 (The Dutchman and his zuife are seated in ai room of their home. Margaret is playing zvith toys on the floor, and the goat is standing near by. The Dutchman is dressed in his home clothes.) Dutchman — Don't you and Margaret want to take a trolley ride and a walk with me, Agnes? I am going to see my foreman at his home, and you can visit with Mrs. Jones for an hour while we talk about the teaming. Wife — I should like to go — the country is pretty now — but I haven't finished my work yet. You might take Margaret. Margaret {running to her father) — Yes, papa, take me. Dutchman — All right, little girl, you shall have a trolley ride, but it isn't time yet. Let's see if our mascot has forgotten his tricks. Come here, Toney. {Makes the goat perform some tricks.) Take a ride, Margaret, on the goat. That is as good as a trolley ride. {Sets the child on the goat and leads the goat about the room.) Ged dap ! Show your speed, Toney ! You ride like a little circus girl! Wasn't that a fine ride! {Tosses the child in the air and sets her on her feet.) Wife — Oscar, sing me a goat song. Dutchman — I don't know any more. Wife — O, don't be bashful — be a good fellow. I feel just like listening to a song. (The Dutchman goes to the front of the stage to sing. He kneels beside the rearing goat, and makes mictions zvith its fore legs.) The Mascot Goat. His owner's pride now strikes his stride — Along the race course swift they glide. Now records go — All else seem slow — I'm his mascot you must know. M THE DEMON AND THE That win was due to me — I'm his mascot now you see — As the crowds do know when the records go, I'm his mascot now you see. {Repeat this chorus.) (The Dutchman now rises, and at each succeeding chorus the goat rears.) If a poor hand you hold, you must then be bold — Just keep your nerve and me. To bad luck atone, Or to go it alone. Just keep your nerve and me. Just keep your nerve and me — Just keep your nerve and me — To bad luck atone, or to go it alone, Just keep your nerve and me. If you are running lame in an uphill game. Just keep your nerve and me. The last may be first — You may win the purse — Just keep your nerve and me. If you lose your sails, or your motor fails, Just keep your nerve and me. If you have pluck You can change your luck! Just keep your nerve and me. If in a long glide to earth you slide. Hold your grip on hope and your goat ! All will soon be right. And the future bright — Hold your grip on hope and your goat 1 Hold your grip on hope and your goat ! Hold your grip on hope and your goat ! All will soon be right, and the future bright- Hold your grip on hope and your goat ! DARLING OF THE GODS [5 Dutchman (looks at his watch) — It is time to go. (Sends the goat out of the room.) Wife — Here, Margaret, is you hat. (Gets the child's hat and puts it on.) Dutchman — We will be back by five o'clock. (Takes the child by the hand and leaves.) (The wife busies herself, dusting and arranging the furniture, and then answers the door bell, and invites a devil-lazvyer to enter. The devil-lazuyer has the appear- ance of a very respectable lawyer except that he has horns and misshapen feet somewhat resembling cloven feet.) Devil — Good afternoon, Mrs. Meyers, I called to see your husband about some legal matters. Is he at home? Wife — He has gone out and will be back at five o'clock. Devil — Then I shall have to call again. But look out of the window — there is Mr. Brown passing on the other side of the street. Isn't he a fine-looking man ? Wife — Yes, he is a friend of ours. He sat with us at the ball game last week. He was very nice and ex- plained all the plays to me. Devil — Yes, to be sure ; and let me whisper a secret. A woman of your good looks could have such a man as that for a husband if she wanted him. Wife — Nonsense ! Devil — It is true — I'll swear it. How would you like to have him for a husband? Wife — I already have a husband. Devil — Yes, but why not get a better one ? Wife— I couldn't do that. Devil — My dear madam, in this part of the country any woman who wants another husband can get a divorce. You start a rumpus and get your husband to carry it on — any woman knows how to do that. A \6 THE DEMON AND THE small rumpus is all that is necessary; and then you en- gage some good lawyer like me. I present your case to the judge, and show him how your husband has abused you, slighted your affections, and injured your feelings, and that you can not live happily with him any longer. You put on your nicest dress and sweetest smile, or look poorly dressed and feeble (either one) — the judge sympathizes with you — you get your divorce, and then you are free. If your husband fights the case I can, if necessary, bring some of my relatives into court, and they will swear to anything I say. Why work, as you are doing now for this man, when you can get another husband who will give you everything you want and servants to wait on you? Wife — How much would that cost? Devil — My fee will be moderate, for you, I know, are not rich. Only one hundred dollars now and fifteen hundred after you marry again and have plenty of money. That is all you have to pay. The court will make your husband pay some too. Wife — How can I get the one hundred dollars? Devil — Ask your husband for a new dress and other things, and search his pockets. If then you are contrary after getting the money, he will feel ill-natured, and that will help the game along. Wife — Excuse me a few moments. (Leaves the room.) Devil (zvalks back and forth and rubs his hands to- gether) — I am acting as the lawyer for the woman and for Brown both, and getting money from both. I only wish I could be the lawyer for the husband too! (Con- sults his notebook.) Let me see which of these three lots I had better buy. I'll go right down and make a part payment on Lot 17, and when I get some more money from Brown, I will make a part payment on Lot 27. When I win this case, I pay for both lots and make a part payment on Lot 30. That looks good to me! If this city only keeps on growing 1 shall soon be rich. DARLING OF THE GODS [7 (The curtain falls, and then rises shozving the Dutch- man and the goat. The same scene. The Dutchman looks disconsolate and chants a song.) Dutchman — They took my cloak, they took my coat — What the lawyers leave is of little note ! I lost name and fame — I lost child and dame — Lost all I had but my goat ! My mascot, what shall I do? That devil-lawyer stole my wife. The lawyers and the wife got all my money, and I have nothing left but you. I thought at first I had lost you too, but you came back. {Takes off the jacket of the goat.) An uncle of ours has to get your jacket, but when my luck changes, I will get you a new one. {Sits dozvn and takes the head of the goat on his knees) Now, tell me, my mascot, what I shall do. {The Dutchman rises zvith a bright face.) My mascot "sets us all right" ! He told me this ! {Sings zvhile he holds the jacket in one hand, and the goat rears.) If you are running lame in an uphill game, Just keep your nerve and me ! The last may be first — You may win the purse — Just keep your nerve and me ! If you lose your sails, or your motor fails. Just keep your nerve and me ! If you have pluck You can change your luck ! Just keep your nerve and me ! That sets me right! In five years I have my five thousand dollars back and another wife ! 18 THE DEMON AND THE ACT III. THE DOCTOR AND THE LAWYER AND THE DARLING OF THE GODS. The Dutchman and another wife of his are seated in another and better house of the Dutchman. The Dutch- man is caressing the goat. The goat has a new and better jacket. Dutchman — I would not part with my mascot for anything. Five years ago to-day, I said I would get my five thousand dollars back and another wife, and I did it. It was my mascot that helped me get you. I'll tell my friend, Dr. Pillsbury, to get a goat. That will help him too. Wife — I don't believe that the doctor likes goats. Dutchman — He would love one if it brought him good luck. I'm just glad I lost my other wife — you are so much better. Wife — You are good to say so. Dutchman — If the law would let me, I would like to have two wives if they both were as good as you. Wife — Don't you do it. That would spoil everything. "Two women and one house. Two kitties and one mouse," can never agree. Dutchman — Well, don't worry, Rose. The law doesn't allow that yet. You and I will just be in clover here if I don't lose my money again. I wouldn't like to lose it, because that would spoil everything too. I found out from bitter experience that this is true, — When fortune smiles your friends smile too, When you drop your coin your friends drop you. Words by WILBUR CARRIER. The Enemy's Goat. Music by SAMUEL H. SPECK. ^^^^^^g 1. When the surg - ing sweep of your 2. When you strike a blow that fcf=^ ^^ ^^^^m^^^^^^m fierce attack Has beat-en your foe - man's bravest back, Then his val - or dies— He feebly strives, And makes them reel, And they shrink and cower be ■ neath your steel. Then you with glee See the enemy flee— You m zi=t- 4=ii m IS^; i=m=^-= ^mB m m ^i m m^^ Strict March Tempo. in your hand his pen - nant flies. Then you get his flag and me— Then you get his win for you get me! You win for you get me! You win for i ^; e =r^=f ^; s m- m^- M '^m F^ f ^Eg^ ^g^^^pg DC. ^^^i=mm flag and me— With joyous cries you seize the prize- you get me! With glee you see the enemy flee- — - r Then you get his flag and me. You win for you get me! f^^m^ ■^ «- mi^ -p^sdm$ Copyright 1914 by Wilbur Carrier. International Copyright secured. DARLING OF THE GODS 19 Wife — Don't worry about that, Oscar. You won't lose your money the second time. Lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place. Sing me one of your goat songs. Dutchman — There comes Dr. Pillsbury now. (After the salutations are over.) Doctor, you came just in time. My wife wants to hear a goat song. You sing better than I can. Show her how well you can sing "The Enemy's Goat." Doctor (bozving to the wife) — Very well. I will do my best to please the lady. {Goes to the front of the stage to sing.) The Enemy's Goat."^ When the vim and zeal of your fierce attack Have beaten your foeman's bravest back, Then his valor dies — He feebly strives, And in your hand his pennant flies. Then you get his flag and me — Then you get his flag and me — With joyous cries you sieze the prize — Then you get his flag and me. When you strike a blow that makes them reel, And they shrink and cower beneath your steel, Then you with glee See the enemy flee — You win for you get me! You win for you get me! You win for you get me! With glee you see the enemy flee — You win for you get me! *ine enemy s uoat song is proposed as one of the battle songs of the anti-graft crusaders. Each of the goat songs suggests that the people should crush the tyrants that now oppress them, or it encourages the people and suggests to them the necessity of keeping their nerve and their goat. The people can do nothing unless, irrespective of party affiliations, they unite at local elections. In union there is strength. This is a trite saying that the people have not known enough to practice. Their enemies have been wiser than they. When the people know enough to unite, the tables will be turned ; and then the people will get their enemy's goat. 20 THE DEMON AND THE They lost for they lost me! They lost for they lost me ! They were forced to flee when in lack of me — They lost for they lost me! When you get the enemy's goat ! When you get the enemy's goat ! Naught else you see compares with me, When you get the enemy's goat ! When you get the enemy's goat! When you get the enemy's goat! Then all you see you get with me, When you get the enemy's goat! Wife — Thanks, Doctor. I like to hear you sing, and you must sing again for us some other time. Please excuse me now. {Bozvs and leaves.) Dutchman — People are not sick so much as they used to be. Doctor — No, they are not. The statistics show that, thanks to my efforts, there is a decided improvement in the health of this community. Dutchman — I am well, and yet I am in trouble. Can you help me. Doctor? Doctor — What is the trouble? Dutchman — It is that devil-lawyer. Five years ago, as you know, he stole my wife and five thousand dollars, and now he is trying to play me the same trick again. Doctor — He stole one of my wives once — that didn't matter much — I got another wife the next day. But if he is trying to get your money, that is serious. It seems natural for an educated devil to drop into the practice of law ; and then, too, they are driving out the better class of lawyers. When we get a reform legislature, I am sure all that will be stopped. As it is now these devil-lawyers are skinning people alive, and the only chance the public has to get even with them DARLING OF THE GODS n is through the doctors. He is a devil sure; but don't worry — I'm his doctor — I'll get his goat — I'll operate on him for appendicitis. Dutchman — He'll make me pay the bill ! Doctor — Now, leave this to me and don't worry. He knows already that his appendix is affected, and I can fix him up nicely.' ' Most devils have a very large appendix that is difficult to remove, and it is ten chances out of ten that the operation will not be successful. Dutchman — Do the best you can for me, Doctor. I'd hate to lose either my money or my wife again. Doctor — All right, I'll pull you through. He shall never say of you again, "Poor fellow ! He dropped into the sauer-kraut and was covered up with ashes." (The curtain falls, and then rises shozving the doctor, Dutchman, devil-laivyer, and goat. The same scene.) Doctor (addressing the devil) — This operation is necessary to save your life — you die without it. A delay of a single day is dangerous. At any hour the disease may become acute, and then you would die in a short time. Chloroform makes the operation painless. Let me test your heart. (Tests the devil's heart.) My dear sir, I am obliged to inform you that we can not use the chloroform. Devil— Why ? Doctor — You have no heart. For a person without a heart to inhale chloroform is sure death. But science has more than one string for her bow — I can use a local anesthetic. (Speaks to the Dutchman.) We will be back soon. Good-by for five minutes. (Takes his instrument-case and goes with the devil into the next room.) Dutchman — Come here, Toney, my mascot. (Caresses the goat.) We hope that operation is not successful — don't we? He has been getting rich at our expense — hasn't he? He is trying to wreck our home again — isn't he? If we get his goat he won't get ours — will he? *The grafters know already that they are under suspicion— they already are dreading the surgeon's knife. 22 THE DEMON AND THE (In a minute the doctor rushes excitedly into the room, carrying a butcher knife in one hand and zmving a carving fork over his head zvith the other.) Doctor (shouting) — "Rejoice, all the world, — the devil is dead !" When he saw these, my instruments, he died of nervous prostration before I had a chance to operate ! Dutchman (falls on his knees, and hugs the goat, and laughs for joy) — I'm saved ! I'm saved ! My mascot saved me! (The curtain falls, and the doctor and the Dutchman sing in joyous tones from behind the curtain.) When you get the enemy's goat! When you get the enemy's goat ! Then all you see you get with me, When you get the enemy's goat ! (The curtain rises showing the doctor, Dutchman, and rearing goat in line, facing the audience. The doctor and the Dutchman repeat the song. The Dutchman is excitedly joyous. The doctor is grave and holds the instrument-case only in his hand. Then the curtain falls, and they are heard singing the song as they march azvay.) ACT IV. THE BIBLE CLASS. Characters of the Social Problem Play in Acts IV and V. Edward, an American clerk employed in the office of a baggage-express company. Clara, the American wife of Edward. Mary, the daughter. Children. Grocers. Two devil-lawyers. The Darling of the Gods (The Mascot Goat.) (The clerk appears before the curtain to sing.) A7 GENERAL NOTES The Social Problem Play attacks the grafters. For this play the Farce and the Comedy are an introduction and a preparation. All those that bleed the public are grafters; and it may well be said that each group of grafters, whether the agreement is written or verbal or is merely an understand- ing, is a Devil's Bible Class. (See p. 39.) As a result of the graft of the Devil's Bible Classes, many families are pinched, and many married women have to work out to help to support the family. That is not good for the rising generation, but the grafters care little. The care of their avaricious souls is to see that "knocking"t is suppressed, and that their graft is not interfered with. The grafters "are not in business for their health." Con- tinued grafting has deadened their conscience and deadened their feelings of honor, fair dealing, and of pity. The motto, "I believe in live and let live," as used by a grafter, means that he himself is willing to be gouged provided he can increase the graft and then pass the load to someone else. The man who works for wages deserves a leather medal for allowing this accumulated load of graft to be piled upon him. You are worse than somewhat dull or you would not so tamely submit to the impositions of the hordes of local trusts. These grafters now hold you in subjection — you bear their yoke — they are your tyrants. If you continue to bow beneath their oppression, you are not worthy to be free. The laws of this country give you the power to suppress the grafters, and you have not known enough to use that power. Indi- viduals are helpless but organized men can do all things, (See pp. A16, A20, A23.) Notes for the Song on Page 23. — Roosevelt caused a bolt from the Republican convention, claiming that he did so on high moral grounds. His claim seems hypocritical, for he made bulldozing, unscrupulous efforts to force the Republican Convention to nominate him as a third-term candidate for the Presidency. If the Republican party were so bad that he as an honest man could no longer endure it, he should not have been willing to accept the Republican nomination even though presented on a golden platter. As President, Roosevelt did a great work in breaking the political power of the big trusts, and this work has been still more effectively carried on by both Taft and Wilson. Unre- strained by the responsibilities of office, Roosevelt seems to t(Compiaining of their graft). A8 TO AID IN LOWERING have lost his balance wheel, to be swayed by personal ambi- tions, emotions, and resentments, and, while still calling him- self a progressive, to be a reactionary. For he has not been pulling in line with other progressives. He divided the pro- gressives in the Republican party into fighting factions and aroused hatreds among progressives that will scarcely die out with the present generation. He was a disruptive force — an enemy — in the progressive camp; and one enemy in the camp is worse than a dozen on the outside. The harm caused by his quarrelsome, disruptive tendencies would seem to counter- balance a great part of all the good that he has ever done. Wilson has caused no disruption of the progressives in the Democratic party, and with Roosevelt's assistance, he will probably be able to keep the Republican goat.* THE PEOPLE'S GOAT When the Packers raised the price of meat, The life of your wife was made less sweet. Their graft was great, as you did note, F"or they stole your coin and got your vote — For they stole your coin and got your vote. The cries of the poor made a piteous plea, But they heeded not in their merry glee — How they did gloat o'er the people's goat, When the grafters got your coin and your vote ! And the butchers formed a local trust — The price of their meat must suit their lust. They raised the graft with that intent. And then to you their bill they sent — And then to you their bill they sent. They blame it all on the Packers too; Their hands are clean — so they tell you With a silent laugh at the simple knave Who received so little for what he gave. Are the times so hard, and is fate so stern, That others enjoy what the workers earn? Are their shoulders broad and their steps so sure That more and more loads are laid on the poor? That more and more loads are laid on the poor? The graft increased all along the road Till it came to you, and you bore the load. Will you be good and bear the load When the graft increased all along the road? *As a reproach that is just even though their actions are excusable, it may be said of each of Roosevelt and Taft that, when he was the leader of his party, he did little to lower the cost of living or to break the political power of the merchants, and that he welcomed local grafters as financial supporters. The same reproach has so far applied to Wilson, and there are no signs of its removal. THE COST OF LIVING A9 Notes. — Substitute the song given above for that on p. 31. All those who bleed the public are grafters. Most mer- chants are bloodthirsty grafters. The farmers who belong to Associations designed to regulate the price of food, to regulate the supply of food, and to order that crops shall be left unharvested when that is necessary to maintain high prices, — such farmers also are bloodthirsty grafters. The grafters work in strings. Each grafter gouges the next, and he passes it along. Each blames the other grafters on his string for the high prices, but he doesn't forget to add his own graft to your bill. If you work for wages or a salary, you, poor fellow, cannot pass it along — you and your family must be good and bear the whole accumulated load of graft. If the people refuse to unite at local elections, they will continue to play their enemy's game — continue to maintain the rule of the merchants — continue, in effect, to give a long string of grafters their votes. The merchants have used their money and influence to exclude from Republican, Democratic and Citizens' tickets the names of men who would do much to suppress their graft.* Though a Citizens' ticket, fathered by the merchants, may be useful in fighting the large corpora- tions and in abolishing graft in which the merchants are not much interested, it cannot break the political power of the merchants. To do that, a general organization of the plain people is necessary — an organization from which grafters and their sympathizers are excluded. The governing com- mittee of such an organization could make a slate and nom- inate and elect a set of legislative, executive, and judicial officials who would break the reign of the merchants, and govern the city in the interests of the people. (See pp. A16, A20). The people of the city should regulate the prices of the wholesale and retail merchants of their city. But with such officials as are now in office, the people are helpless. They must be good and stand quiet and be bled — unable to put any *The local trust-folks directly control some newspapers, and they use the threat of the loss of advertisements and the threat of the loss of patronage as clubs to control the expression of thought in newspapers, magazines, and theaters in general. Such indirect means work in harmony with the direct means by which the local trusts influence nominations. AIO TO AID IN LOWERING limit to higher and higher and higher prices. The general regulation of retail prices would squeeze out graft all along the line. For, if the retail prices of meat were effectively regulated in the cities, neither the local butcher nor the packer nor the stockman could make excessive profits or put his hand into the pockets of other men. High retail prices (high compared with the price of labor) are caused chiefly by inefficient or dishonest government, squandered money, squandered franchises, and the resulting excessive taxation, by the excessive profits of producers, wholesalers, and retailers, by an excessive number of mer- chants, an excessive amount of advertising and free delivery and rented store space, by the neglect of the use of upper floor and side streets, the exorbitant rates of rent, and too high a cost of transportation. The most of these causes have been in operation for a long time; and the recent great increase in retail prices has been caused chiefly by an increase in the profits of producers, wholesalers, retailers, and land- lords. The increase in the cost of living has been caused chiefly by graft and has kept pace with the increase of the combinations and understandings among merchants. It has been increasingly easy for the grafters to make a living. They have been transferring money from the pockets of other people to their own. The merchants, except for a short dull season, do not keep a useless number of clerks, and they have used the license system to regulate the peddlers. Sometimes they have purposely made the license fees so high as to drive the peddlers out of business. The merchants should be fought with their own weapons and reduced from the condition of masters to that of servants. They should be licensed, and their number should be so limited that the business will be conducted in the best interests of the people. Reduce the number of merchants, and you reduce the store space for which the people are paying the rent and also reduce the rate of rents. There are now several times more merchants than the people need ; and therefore the great majority of the merchants are bloodsuckers. The claim of the small merchant that the world owes him a living at his trade, is a whine that shows his bloodsucking nature. If the people do not need his services as a merchant, let him go back to the land, let him plow, saw wood, or break stone for a living, let him be of some use to his country, and not be a bloodsucker on his State. All the trade-folks are the servants of the public ; and this idea of the best service should supersede all conflicting ideas. Only those trade-folks who are the best THE COST OF LIVING All fitted to serve the public should survive.* If the merchants can not afford to keep useless clerks, the public can not afford to keep useless merchants. An increase in prices allows an increase in the number of mer- chants; and then the merchants to make a better living combine or have an understanding in order to further increase prices. At present there is no limit to progress in this vicious circle except the ability of the wage-earners to foot the bills. Officials that are the friends of the plain people and not the slaves of the landlords and merchants would interfere with progress in this circle. The present class of State and city officials care less for the people than they do for the grafters. Otherwise they would suppress grafting, and prevent the giving of short weight and short measure and the sale of impure food and the use of deceitful advertisements and adul- terations, and they would not allow swindling scheiners to flourish. Some claim that the increased supply of gold has made it harder to earn a living, and insinuate that you should keep quiet for you can do nothing. If the price of labor were made to correspond with the increased price of necessities, the increased supply of gold would make no difference to the workingman, for his gains would balance his losses. That wages have not so increased shows that some one is inter- fering with the process of adjustment, and that in the mean- time he is busy taking money from the pockets of the work- ing people. That is, you have lost greatly by the rise in the price of necessities and gained little by a rise in wages, for some one else has been absorbing your share of the benefits from the increased supply of gold. Hence the ill effects of the increased supply of gold are all included in the effects of graft. In every light and from every angle, graft is the one great thing that has made it harder for you to earn a living. If your employer, a manufacturer, made fair profits and paid ♦Government regulation of the prices of the trusts and wholesale and retail merchants would in one direction benefit all farmers, and it would especially benefit the large numbers of farmers who do not belong to a combination. A12 fair wages ten years ago, and if the increased supply of gold has greatly increased his profits without a corresponding in- crease in the price of your labor, he is a grafter who is bleeding you. But, if his profits have not increased, he cannot greatly increase your wages unless at the same time he raises the price of his product. If rents and the price of store goods have been raised, and this employer's profits have not in- creased, some other man and not this employer has put his hand into your pockets; and yet sometimes your employer also may be a grafter. It is a complex condition, and a general rule will not apply to all individuals; but if you wish to know "who got your money," notice the classes of people that have been making a living with increasing ease — an ease that increased with your hardships. Men who make an easy living by grafting make life hard for those they bleed. It is embarrassing to a grafter to be asked, "How did you get all your money?" You and the grafters should be sworn enemies, for the grafters prey upon you — "they have got your goat!"* If the farmers, stockmen, packers, merchants, landlords, certain classes of manufacturers, certain other corporations, and the allies of these people have been making a living with increasing ease and absorbing more than their share of the benefits from the increased supply of gold, this may leave but a small share of these benefits for your employer to transfer to you. The same benefits can not be absorbed twice, and you can not expect to share in benefits that have already been absorbed by someone who is not your employer. If in each of the large cities the people would unite and regulate the prices of the merchants of their city, they would squeeze out graft all along the line, and then your employer could distribute to you some of the benefits from the increased supply of gold; and also you would pay lower prices for necessities.* That would be as it should be, for you now re- ceive too low wages and pay too high prices. If the graft of the merchants were squeezed out, the profits of some manu- facturers could be increased at the same time that the retail prices of their products are diminished; and all manufacturers would gain by the restoration to their workmen of the con- tended spirit that comes with easier conditions of living. *Men and women of all parties should unite at local elections in an anti-graft crusade, temporarily if not permanently, for they can still main- tain their party organizations at state and national elections (see p. A20). Words by WILBUR CARRIER. Moderato marcato. Music by SAMUEL H. SPECK. £Eg3=^=^ ^^ im^ m^ i I m ^ :lEi=ji^^l^^ipHii^ 1. Bryan stole theirgoat