Always or<ler ' ' DE \% ITT^S '' Acting Plays. 
 
 PRICK ir> CENTS. 
 
 lll'^^ DE WITT'S ACTING PLAYS. 
 
 (lVviniil>ei' 334.) 
 
 LOVER'S STRATAGEM. 
 
 By 8. T. A. N. 
 
 TOGETHER WITH 
 
 A Description of tlie Costumes— Cast of tlie Characters— Entrances 
 
 and Exits — Relative Positions of tlie Performers on the 
 
 Stage— and the wliole of the Stage Business. 
 
 0) ^^l'^^' ^"-^^^^ * 
 
 DE WITT. PUBLISITEH 
 
 No. 33 Hose Street. 
 
 A COMPLETE DESCRIPTIVE CATALOGUE OF DE WIH'S ACTINQ 
 NOW 3 PLAYS, AND DE WITT'S ETHIOPIAN AND COMIC DRAMAS, containing 
 Plots, Costume, Scenery, Time of Representation, and every other inf orma* 
 
 READY. 
 
 tion, mailed free and post-paid. 
 
DE ^^ITT'S 
 
 ETHIOPIAN AND COMIC DRAMA. 
 
 Nothing so thorough and complete in the way of Ethiopian and Comic Dramas has ever 
 been printed as those that appear in the following list. Not only are the plots excellent, the 
 characters droll, the incidents funny, the language humorous, bu^ all the situations, by-play, 
 positions, pantomimic business, scenery, and tricks are so plainly set down and clearly 
 explained that the merest novice could put any of them on the stage. Included iu this 
 Catalogue are all the most laughable and effective pieces of their class ever produced. 
 
 *^* In ordering please copy the figures at the commencement of each piece, which 
 indicate the number of the piece iu " De Witt's Ethiopian anI) Comic Dkama." 
 
 JO^ Any of the following Plays sent, postage free, on receipt of price— Fifteen Cents 
 each. 
 
 J8®= The figure following the name of the Play denotes the number of Acts. The 
 figures in the columns indicate the number of characters — M. male; F. female. 
 
 141. 
 
 73. 
 107. 
 
 113. 
 133. 
 43. 
 
 42. 
 79. 
 
 40. 
 0. 
 
 10. 
 11. 
 146. 
 
 M. F. 
 
 Absent Minded, Ethiopian farce, 1 
 
 act 3 1 
 
 African Box, burlesque, 2 scenes. . . 5 
 African us Bluebeard, musical Ethi- 
 opian burlesque, 1 scene C> 2 
 
 Ambition, farce, 2 scenes 7 
 
 Awful Plot (An) Ethiopian farce, la. 3 1 
 Baby Elephant, sketch, 2 scenes.. . . 7 1 
 Bad" Whiskey, Irish sketch, 1 scene. 2 1 
 Barney's Courtship, musical inter- 
 lude, lact 1 2 
 
 Big Mi.stttke, sketch, 1 scene 4 
 
 Black Chap from Whitechapel, Ne- 
 gro piece 4 
 
 Black Chemist, sketch, 1 scene 3 
 
 Black-Ey'd William, sketch, 2 scenes 4 1 
 Black Forrest (The),Etliiopian farce, 
 
 1 act 2 1 
 
 Black Magician (De),Ethiopian com- 
 icality 4 2 
 
 Black Statue (The), Negro farce 4 2 
 
 Blinks and Jinks, Ethiopian sketch. 3 1 
 Boboliuo, the Black Bandit, Ethio- 
 pian musical farce, 1 act 2 1 
 
 Body SuatcheKs (The), Negro sketch, 
 
 2 scenes 3 1 
 
 Bogus Indian, sketch, 4 scenes 5 2 
 
 Bogus Talking Machine (The), farce, 
 
 1 scene 4 
 
 Bruised and Cured, sketch, 1 scene. 2 
 Charge of the Hash Brigade, comic 
 
 Irish musical sketch..'. 2 2 
 
 Christmas Eve in the South, Ethio- 
 pian farce, 1 act 6 2 
 
 Coal Heaver's Revenge, Negro sketch, 
 
 1 scene 6 
 
 Coming Man (The), Ethiopian sketch, 
 
 2 scenes 3 1 
 
 Cremation, sketch, 2 scenes 8 1 
 
 Crowded Hotel (Tlie), sketch, 1 sc. 4 1 
 
 Cupid's Frolics, sketcii, 1 scene 5 1 
 
 Daguerreotypes, sketch, 1 scene 3 
 
 Damon and Pythias, burlesque, 2 sc. 5 1 
 Darkey's Strata<^em, sketch, 1 scene 3 1 
 Darkey Sleep Walker (The), Ethio- 
 pian sketch, 1 scene 3 1 
 
 Deaf as a Post, Ethiopian sketch.. . . 2 
 Deeds of "Darkness, Ethiopian ex- 
 travaganza, 1 act 6 
 
 Des^rate Situation (A), farce, 1 sc. 5 
 
 DraftUThe), sketch, 2 scenes 6 
 
 Dutchman's Ghost, 1 scene 4 
 
 Dutch Justice, laughable sketch, 
 
 1 scene 11 
 
 Editor's Troubles, farce, 1 scene.. . G 
 
 Eh ^^hat is it ? sketch 4 
 
 Electhsu Day. Ethiopian farce, 2 sc. 6 
 Elopement (The), fai-ce, 2 scenes. . . 4 
 
 Excise Trials, sketch, 1 scene 10 
 
 Fellow that Looks like Me, inter- 
 lude, 1 scene . 2 
 
 FirJ^jt Night (The\ Dutch farce. 1 act 4 
 Fisherman's Luck, sketch, 1 scene. 2 
 Fun iu a Cooper's Shop, Ethiopian 
 
 sketch 6 
 
 Gambriuus. King of Lager Beer, 
 
 Ethiopian burlesque, 2 sceues 8 
 
 German Emigrant (The), sketch, Isc. 2 
 Getting Square on the Call Boy, 
 
 sketch, 1 scene 3 
 
 Ghost (The). Sketch, 1 act 2 
 
 Ghost in a Pawn Shop, sketch. 1 sc. 4 
 
 Glycerine Oil, sketch, 2 scenes 3 
 
 Going for the Cup. interlude 4 
 
 Good Night's Rest, sketch, 1 scene. 3 
 Go and get Tight, Ethiopian sketch, 
 
 1 scene 6 
 
 Gripsack, sketch, 1 scene 3 
 
 Guide to the Stage, sketch 3 
 
 Happy Couple. 1 scene 2 
 
 Happy Uncle Rufus, Ethiopian mu- 
 sical sketch, 1 scene 1 
 
 ITard Times, extravaganza. 1 scene. 5 
 Helen's Funny Babies, buVlesque. 
 
 1 act 
 
 Hemmed In. sketch 
 
 Higli Jack, the Heeler, sketch. 1 sc. 6 
 
 Hippotheatron, sketch 9 
 
 How to Pay the Rent, fnrce, 1 scene 6 
 
 In and Out, skf^tch. 1 scpu*^ 2 
 
 Intelligence Office (The), Ethiopian 
 sketch, 1 scene 2 
 
 3 1 
 
A LOVER'S STEATAGEM. 
 
 f » 
 
 A COMEDY. 
 
 IN THREE ACTS, 
 
 BV S_ T- A- N. 
 
 TOGETHER WITH 
 
 DESCKIPTION OF THE COSTUMES CAST OF THE CHARACTEBSh— 
 
 ENTRANCES AND EXITS RELATIVE POSITIONS OF THE 
 
 PIIRFORMEES ON THE STAGE, AND THE WHOLE OS 
 •^^HE STAGE BUSINESS. 
 
 7^X^7^ 
 
 . JAN 22 1085 
 
 KEW YORK: ^*'»*=— — ^ 
 DE WITT, PUBLISHER, 
 
 No. 33 Rose Street. 
 
 Copyright, 1884, by A. T. B. De Witt. 
 
A lover's stratagem. P^^^ ' 
 
 CAST OF CHAR A CTEBS. , N 3 L'/ 
 
 Me. Bekjamin Wilder, an eccentric old gentleman. 
 
 Fred and ( ^^-^ sons, aged ten and tivelve, respectively. 
 
 Mr. Harry Wilder, his nephew, aged about twenty. 
 
 Mr. Frank Smiles, a comedian, disguised as GrUEY, the tutor, dc 
 
 Twitch, a shoemaker. 
 
 Thomas, old Wilder"s servant. 
 
 Mr. Saxkey. a showman. 
 
 Villagers, &c. 
 
 TIME OF PLAYING— ONE HOUR. 
 
 ACT I.— /S'cene— Room in Mr. Benjamin Wilder' s house. Doors B. and l. 
 Books, pictures, &c. Small table R. c. ; larger table, L. c. ; covered with mechan- 
 ical appliances. 
 
 Act II.— >S'cene— Same as Act I. 
 
 ACT III. — Scene — Interior of a travelling waxwork exhibition. A curtain drawn 
 across back of stage. Pedestal L. c. A large white sheet, and a short, curly, white 
 wig are lying on pedestal. 
 
 COSTWMES. 
 
 Mr. Benjamin Wilder.— 1st dress : Dark waistcoat and trousers, dressing- gown, 
 carpet slippers, gray wig with bald forehead, spectacles, bunch of seals, &c. 2nd 
 dress: Blue frock-coat, dark vest and trousers, broad-brimmed hat, low-cut shoes, 
 walking-stick. 
 
 Harry Wilder, Fred., and Charley. — Neat modem attire. 
 
 Frank Smiles.— 1st dress : Suit of seedy black. 2nd dress : Leather apron, red 
 muffler, cloth cap, red wig. 3rd dress : Brown overcoat, with fur collar and cuffs, 
 light ti'ousers, dark brown wig and beard, rubicund countenance, green spectacles, 
 &c., &c. 
 
 Twitch. — No coat, coarse trousers, leather apron, red muffler. 
 
 Sankey. — Made up stout, gray coat and trousers, white waistcoat, heavy gold 
 guard, &c. 
 
 T/iomas.- Suit of livery. 
 
 PROPERriES. 
 
 Act 1 — Books, pictures, and drawing materials ; small complicated piece of mech- 
 anism. 
 
 j4c« 27— Slates and books, for Fred and Charley; string for Fred ; book for 
 Wilder : check for ditto ; pair of boys' boots, shoemaker's measure, lump 
 of wax in boot, for TwiTCH : half-sovereign and red wig, for Smiles ; two 
 small hymn-books, for Fred and Charley ; long white wand and short step- 
 ladder, for Sankey ; purse, for Wilder. 
 
 STAGE DIRECTIONS. 
 
 R. means Right of Stage, facing the Audience ; L. Left ; C. Centre ; R. C. Right 
 of Centre ; L. C. Left of Centre. D. F. Door in the Flat, or Scene running across 
 the back of the Stage ; C. D. F. Centre Door in the Flat ; R. D. F. Right Door in 
 the Flat ; L. D. F. Left Door in the Flat : R. D. Right Door ; L. D. Left Door : 1 E. 
 First Entrance ; 2 E. Second Entrance ; U. E. Upper Entrance ; 1, 2 or 3 G. First, 
 Second or Third Groove. 
 
 R- R- C. C. ' L. C. L. 
 
 t^^The reader is supposed to be upon the stage facing the audience. 
 
 ^^^7r 
 
A LOVER'S STRATAGEM. 
 
 SCENE — Boom in Mr. Benjamin Wilder's house. Boors r. and l. 
 Books, pictures, ^c. Small table r. c. ; larger table l. c, cover- 
 ed with meehanical appliances. Curtain rises, discovering old 
 Wilder seated at table l. c, working at a small and complicat- 
 ed piece of mechanism, and Tkomas placing chairs behind table, 
 r. c. 
 
 Wilder, (angrily). — The what, Thomas? 
 
 Thomas, {pointing to table l. c). — The — thingummy, sir. 
 
 Wilder. How often must I order you to call things by their right 
 names, Thomas? Tliis is not ^ thingummy; it's a self-acting, auto- 
 matic engine, Thomas ; and I anticipate that when it is finished it 
 will electrify all the scientific world. Come and look at it, Thomas. 
 
 Thomas, {edging towards the door r.). — I'd rather not, sir — I don't 
 like being 'lectrified. 
 
 Wilder. What nonsense, Thomas I Come here ! 
 
 Thomas. I'd rather not, sir {going; stops.) Oh ! I nearly forgot to 
 tell you, sir, Mrs. Jenkins, the housekeeper, says the boys'must take 
 their lessons in this room this morning. 
 
 Wilder. In this room! Why so, Thomas? 
 
 Thomas. She says she's going to give the house a thorough clean. 
 
 Wilder. That woman is gone scouring mad ! I almost lose my 
 temper at her sometimes ; but being a philosopher and a man of the 
 world, of course, I know it's bootless — bootless, Thomas ! 
 
 Thomas. Yes, sir. 
 
 Wilder. By-the-way, talking of bootless, that reminds me — has 
 Patcher, the bootmaker, sent those boys' boots home ? 
 
 Thomas. No; I think not, sir. 
 
 Wilder. Then go down as far as his shop immediately, Thomas, 
 and tell hira to send those boots this morning — this morning, if he 
 means to make any more for my family. I hate a man who breaks a 
 promise! 
 
 Thomas. Yes; I'll go at once, sir {going l.) 
 
4 A LOVERS STRATAGEM. 
 
 Wilder. And, Thomas, tell him to bring his measure with him. 
 My daughter Grrace requires new walking-boots. 
 
 Thomas. I'll not forget to remember to tell him, sir. {Exit L. 
 
 Wilder. What a strange thing it is that Grace, who is such a sen- 
 sible girl in other respects, always laughs at my scientific researches ? 
 By-the-way, I wonder where she is ? 
 
 Enter Fred and Charley, r., with slates and hooJcs. TJiey seat them- 
 selves at tahle r. c. 
 
 Wilder. Where is Grace? 
 
 Fred. In the garden. Pa. 
 
 Wilder. And where is Mr. Grey? Why doesn'c he come to super- 
 intend lessons ? 
 
 Charley. He's in the garden, too, pa. Ha's reading poetry to Grace. 
 
 Wilder. Indeed! (aside) Highly dangerous (/i^es.) I'll terminate 
 their poetical proceedings with a little plain prose. What assurance 
 on the part of a poor tutor! I suppose I'd be angry if I wasn't a phil- 
 osopher and a man of tlie world. {Exit r. 
 
 Fred. Lend me your knife, Charley. 
 
 Charley. What for ? 
 
 Fred. Oh, never mind — lend me it. 
 
 Charley. I sha'n't without you tell me what you want it for. 
 
 Fred. Then keep it. I don't want it. It's good for nothing. I 
 know who'll buy me a 7icw knife ; and he'll mend my fishing-rod, too. 
 
 Charley. I know who you mean. You mean Cousin Harry ; I 
 heard pa say he was coming to-day. 
 
 Fred. Well, what if I do mean Cousin Harry? Hell splice my 
 fishing-rod, for he always has a sharp knife— not like your blunt old 
 thing— and I've got lots of string {takes string from his pocket) ; and 
 Patcher's going to bring me a lump of wax when he brings my boots, 
 and 
 
 Charley. Hush! Here's Mr. Grey and father. {They hend over 
 their slates.) 
 
 Enter Wilder and Smiles, r. 
 
 Smiles. But I have an explanation to offer, sir. 
 
 Wilder. I have no time to listen to explanations now, sir. {Looks 
 off L. ) Hallo ! who's that driving up to the door ? My nephew Harry, 
 as I live! Sit still, boys. {Exit l. 
 
 Smiles, {aside.)— My old friend Harry Wilder! How provoking! 
 I hope he'll not recognise me just now. {Aloud.) Now, boys, pay a 
 little attention to your lessons. {Seats himself R. of boys, and bends 
 over a hook.) 
 
 Enter Wilder a?id Harry, l. 
 
 Harry. Ah, boys! Fred, Charley, lively as ever! (Shakes hand.) 
 I musn't interrupt lessons, I suppose. 
 
 Wilder. You mustn't, indeed, Harry. Attend to your lessons, boys. 
 
 Harry. And where is Grace ? 
 
 Wilder. Never mind Grace for the present. She's busy. Come 
 and examine this wonderful automaton of mine. 
 
A LOVERS STRATAGEM. 5 
 
 Harry. Ah, yes ! {Looks intently at Smiles, and starts on recognising 
 him. Smiles signals Harry to maintain silence.) 
 
 Wilder. Eii? What are you staring at, Harry? It's only Grey 
 the tutor. 
 
 Harry. Oh, nothing. (Aside.) If that's not Frank Smiles I'll eat 
 my hat! (Aloud.) This wliat-d'ye-call-it of yours, you weije saving. 
 Wilder. I wish you'd call things by their right names, Harry." It's 
 the motive power for an automaton violinist I am constructing, and I 
 anticipate that when it is finished it will, from the multiplicity and 
 grace of its movements, completely throw into the shade all automata 
 hitherto produced— even Kempelen's Chess Player, which is not ail 
 automaton at all, according to Sir David Brewster. 
 
 Harry. I daresay not. (Yawns.) 
 
 Wilder. By-the-by, Harry, did you ever read that author's '' Let- 
 ters on Natural Magic ?" 
 
 Harry. I can't say I ever did. 
 
 Wilder. It's lying about somewhere— a little book. No, it's not in 
 the book-case, for I was looking at it yesterday, and I never replace 
 anything. Where did I leave it ? Tut— tut! 
 
 Harry. Oh, never mind, uncle. Don't trouble. 
 
 Wilder. But I do mind. I should like you to read it above all 
 things. It discloses an imposition, and I who love truth so much, am 
 very zealous at exposing deceit . Where did 1 leave it ? Ah ! Iremem- 
 ber — it's in the summer-house. I'll go and fetch it. ' (Exit r^ 
 
 Smiles, (aside to Harry.) Wait a moment. (Aloud.) Now, boys, 
 you have been so attentive to-day, I shair allow you twenty minutes, 
 recess. (Boys rise.) Come back at th6 end' of that time, and con-' 
 elude your lessons. 
 
 Fred. Come into the garden with us, Cousin Harry. 
 
 Charley. Oh, do ! 
 
 Harry. I'll follow directly. Away with you!' I won't be long. 
 
 (Exit hoys,. R^ 
 
 Harry. Smiles, my dear. fellow, what, in the name of mystery, is, 
 this? Four months ago you, were Frank Smiles, the first comedian of 
 the day, playing to crowded and admiring audiences for I don't know- 
 how many pounds, a r^'igUt ; and now I find you as Grey the tutor, 
 grubbing away in my uncle's house. 
 
 Smiles. At a, salary of £80 a year, exactly. Listen to my expla- 
 nation. TI>.r.ee nipnths ago I joined the Metropolitan Comedy Com- 
 pany in a provincial tour. The sleepy town of Dulborough, about 
 half a mile frorn here, was by some means, entered on our way-bill. 
 There I encountered my fate in the form of a beautiful young' lady. 
 I was snaitten ait once. By Jove, it was a regular case of love at first 
 sight. 
 
 Harry. About the fiftieth similar case you've experienced. 
 
 Smiles. Don't, Harry ; it's really a true case this time. I made in- 
 quiries, and endeavored to obtain an introduction; without avail, for 
 my enchantress was guarded by a fatherly griffin, who claims to be a 
 philosopher and a man of the world. 
 
 Harry. I begin to see through this now. Your charmer is ? 
 
 Smii^es. Your cousin Grace, and the philosopher aforesaid 
 
 IIarry. My Uncle Wilder, of course. So when you couldn't get an 
 introcluction, you 
 
 Smiles. Exactly. Saw an advertisement for a tutor in the " Dul- 
 borough Gazette, ^' applied and was successful — in more senses than 
 
b A LOVERS STRATAGEM, 
 
 onef And when not occupied in teaching the brother to decline 
 ^' Amo, " I was teaching the cousin to accept my love. 
 
 Harry. With what result I 
 
 Smiles. Magnificent! She loves me, — loves me disinterestedly, 
 too ; for she only knows me as Grey, the poor tutor. 
 
 Harry. I congratulate you, old boy! (They slial-e hands.) Only 
 marry my Cousin Grace, and I'm indebted to you for life ! 
 
 Smiles. How? 
 
 Harry". Oh ! it's a family matter, too tedious to enter into just now. 
 Our elders have it all arranged that Grace and I shall make a match 
 at some remote period. Now, Grace does not want me ; besides, I'm 
 engaged, sub rosa, to Clara Jones. Therefore, if you marry Grace, it 
 clears the way for Clara and I. 
 
 Smiles. Well, I'm your man, if I can only gain her father's consent ; 
 and, as he is a strict "lover of truth, I'll endeavor to propitiate him by 
 acknowledging everything. 
 
 Harry'. I should certainly do so. 
 
 Smiles. If that fails I can turn to stratagem again, and try to ca- 
 jole a promise from him. 
 
 Harry. If we succeed in that the field is wen, for he is so frantic- 
 ally rigid in such matters, that he would rather die than not fulfil a 
 promise to the letter, no matter under what circumstances it might 
 have been made. 
 
 Smiles. And yet he deceives , himself into the idea that he is a 
 "philosopher, and a man of the world." Poor Wilder ! he knows as 
 little about the world as an unhatched chrysalis knows of creation ! 
 
 Harry, {looks r.). — He's coming with liis blessed book! I'll avoid 
 him, and redeem my promise to the lads by slipping into the garden 
 by a roundabout way. Have at him, old boy, and luck attend you! 
 
 {Exit L. 
 
 Wilder. I've found it ; but it wasn't there. Where's Harry ? 
 
 Smiles. He's just stepped out. 
 
 Wilder. And why are the boys not at lessons ? 
 
 Smiles. I have dismissed tliem for a brief recess. I really have 
 something of importance to communicate, Mr. Wilder, if you'll grant 
 me a few minutes attention. 
 
 Wilder, Indeed! {Seats himself .) What is it ? 
 
 Smiles, {aside.) Now for it! {Aloud.) I wish to ask your per- 
 mission to marry your daughter Grace. 
 
 Wilder, {risimi angrily.) Goodness gracious. Marry my daughter 
 Grace? You? {Pause.) Preposterous! I won't hear of it for a 
 moment, {Goinrj 1a. 
 
 Smiles, Sir, if poverty is the only obstacle 
 
 Wilder, (turns.) Biit it is not, {Goinr/.) 
 
 Smiles. If it were, that is easily overcome. Hear me, sir. (Wild- 
 er pauses at door.) I am not what I appear to be. 
 
 Wilder. Then, sir, you are a hypocrite, and as such I detest you. 
 {Crosses to R. anffvily.) 
 
 Smiles, {aside, clinching his fist.) No, he is her father; let me not 
 forget that. (Aloud.) Sir, T acknowledge I have deceived you in fact. 
 My name is not Gr6y, nor is teaching my ordinary vocation. I am 
 
A LOVER S STRATAGEM. 7 
 
 an actor — not an obscure one; as my name, Frank Smiles, "will vouch 
 and by means of my profession I have acquired wealth enough to 
 
 Wilder. No more ! Your wealth shall not bribe me to overlook 
 your wickedness. You are an impostor, sir! You have crept into my 
 house, in a base disguise, to accomplish a base purpose — to steal my 
 daughter from me. ( Crosses l. ) 
 
 Smiles. Nay, sir ; hear me ! What you term a base disguise was 
 simply a lover's stratagem ; what 
 
 Wilder, {htterrupthtg fiercchj.) — A lover's stratagem! 'Twas a 
 hideous deceit — an acted lie! {Overcome hij his anger, he sinls into a 
 chair, and bxrics his face in his hands. Pause.) 
 
 Smiles. Sir! 
 
 Wilder, (gently raising his head, and speaTcing in a sidnlned voice.) 
 The wonder is how I, a calm philosopher, and a man of the world, 
 could be deceived by such a shallow pretence ! 
 
 Smiles. And you refuse your consent? 
 
 Wilder. Most decidedly ! Now let us get to other matters. {Be- 
 fers to book on table, and commences icriting.) Hum! Let m« see. 
 Your quarter's stipend is due next week. 
 
 Smiles. I do not require it, sir. 
 
 Wilder. But it is yours. I shall instruct my boys mysfelf for the 
 future. Though they have made tolerable progress under your super- , 
 intendence, I must say 1 disagree with your system. You endeavor 
 to teacli too much before you cultivate the memory. I shall remedy 
 that by a plan of my own. Her% is a check {liaxcls sli2> of paper) for 
 the amount of your quarter's salary. I shall allow you half an hour 
 (looks at ]iis ivatcli) to pack your trunk. As soon as that is done, you 
 will quit ra; house. 
 
 Smiles. I sliall certainly do so, sir. (Going l; turns.) I am, I 
 suppose, to regai'd your decision as final? Y^ou hold out no hope of 
 my ever gaining your consent ? 
 
 WiLDEU. (rising aiigrihj.) If cA^er I give you my consent, sir, why 
 — you may have her, that's all! But (smiling) you need not imagine 
 there is aiiy hope of tliat. If you are ever clever enough to deceive 
 me — a philosopher and a man of the world — thrice over, and as effect- 
 ually as you have liitherto done, Til — hang it! I'll give you my 
 consent ! 
 
 Smiles, (aside.) A cliauce yet. 
 
 Wilder. That, however, is an impossibility. 
 
 Smiles. I must give up all hope. May i not see her for a moment 
 before I go I 
 
 Wilder. Certair.ly not-. 77/ see her, and lecture her severely for 
 attempting to deceive her old father. After that, I'll give my boys a 
 round of elementary education. You have had my anawer. Pack up, 
 and go! (ExitB.. 
 
 Enter Harry, l. 
 
 PIarry. Ah, Frank! I've been waiting for the verdict. What is it, eh? 
 
 Smiles. A decided non-suit, Harry. I must be out of the house in 
 half an hour; and, worse than that, T am not permitted to see Grace 
 again. Now, I mnst see her, if possible, for the purpose of breatliing 
 into her ear a little hope— hope which I have gathered from an extra- 
 ordinary promise her word-keeping father vented in hia anger. 
 
 Harry. Indeed ! What was it ? 
 
8 A lover's stratagem. 
 
 Smiles. He said if I remember (mimicJcing Wilder.) "If you are 
 clever enough to deceive me — me, a philosopher and a man of the 
 world — thrice over, and as effectually as you've already done, I'll — 
 hang it I I'll consent to your marriage ! " 
 
 Harry. Ha — ha! excellent ! Well, if you fulfil those conditions, 
 I've no doubt he'll keep his words. 
 
 Smiles. I think I can manage it. I must turn my talent for mimi- 
 cry into account, and, in the first place, adopt some disguise which 
 will enable me to have an interview with Grace. That will, if suc- 
 cessful, be deception No.l. We'll see about the others afterwards. 
 Can you hit upon anything, Harry? 
 
 Harry. I don't know, I'm sure. Let's see. (Pause.) 
 
 Smiles, (looking i,.) Ah I who is this strange being ? 
 Enter Thomas, l., showing in Twitch, who carries a pair of hoys hoots 
 and a shoemakers measure. 
 
 Thomas. Step this way, Mr. Twitch. Take a chair. I'll go and 
 tell master you've come. (Exit r. 
 
 Harry. Twitch, how is it your master hasn't come ? 
 
 Twitch. Master's main bad to-day, sir, so he told me to bring 
 Master Fred's boots, and take the young lady's measure. 
 
 Smiles. What ! Miss Grace ? 
 
 Twitch. Yes, sir. 
 
 Smiles. A brilliant idea ! Off with your apron ! Quick! Here, I'll 
 give you my coat for it ! (Takes off his coat.) 
 
 Twitch. What for, sir? 
 
 Smiles. Oh, it's only for a lark! Don't wait for reasons. You 
 sha'n't come to any harm by it. Here's half a sovereign. (Harry 
 and Smiles hurriedly divest Twitch of his apron, cap, and muffler.) 
 Here, put these on. (Smiles hands Twitch his coat and hat.) Now 
 go and sweetheart the barmaid at the '*Red Lion!" (Smiles ^w^sow 
 apron ^x.) Look sharp there's a man! 
 
 Harry. Why, you're metamorphosed already. 
 
 Smiles. I've some old wigs and things in my trunk ; so, if old Wild- 
 er only gives me another half -minute, I'll be rather more so. 
 
 (Buns off L. 
 
 Twitch, (turning round. ) How grand I be ! You're sure as I won't 
 come to no harm by this, sir ? 
 
 Harry. Not you. Is it likely ? 
 Enter Smiles, l. ; red wig, cap over his eyes, and muffler up to his chin. 
 
 Harry. Ha! ha! ha! You're another man. 
 
 Smiles. The shoes! The measure! (Seizes them.) Now be off, 
 Twitch, there's a good fellow. Keep out of the way, and I'll give you 
 a sovereign to-morrow. (Pushes him off, L.) He's coming! (Looks R.) 
 Now for it! You must back me out, Harry, (lie-enter Twitch, l.) 
 
 Twitch. I forgot; there's summat for Master Fred 
 
 Smiles, (savagely.) Get out! 
 
 Twitch, (shouts.) It's in one o' the boots. 
 
 Harry. Be off! You'll spoil the fun. (Pushes him off.) Just in 
 time, by Jove ! 
 
 Enter Wilder and the hoys, n. The hoys sit hehind table, R. c. 
 Smiles. If you please, squire, I ha' brought the young gent's boots. 
 Wilder. Oh, I suppose you're from Patcher's. Why didn't he come 
 himself ? 
 Smiles. Master's main bad with the dumblingo, sir. 
 
A LOVERS STRATAGEM. 9 
 
 Wilder. Dear me ! What's that ? 
 
 Smiles. A sort of roomatiz,! b'leeve, sir. He's so bad he can't 
 hardly walk. 
 
 Wilder. Ah ! well, just wait a minute. I must attend to the tuition 
 of my boys. (Gives Fred and Charley each a small hook.) Each 
 of you learn three verses. My tutor has behaved abominably, Harry, 
 so I've dismissed him. 
 
 Smiles. Then that 'ud be the gent I met in the road just now. 
 
 Wilder. Oh, he's gone, theii ! A happy riddance ! 
 
 Smiles, {aside. ) Very happy. (Aloud.) He gi'ed me half a crown, 
 an' told me to take his truuk down to tli' " Red Lion" 
 
 Wilder. You'll find it in the side room, as you go out. (Points l.) 
 
 Smiles. Here's your boots, young gemman. ( Aside to Yh^d.) It's 
 inside. (Aloud.) But about the young lady's boots? 
 
 Wilder. Oh yes. Go into tlie next room, and I'll send her to you. 
 (Exit Smiles, r.) Harry, oblige me by telling Grace that the boot- 
 maker has come. I'm busy now. 
 
 Harry. Oh, certainly ! (Exit r. 
 
 Wilder. Now, boys, how are you getting on? 
 
 Fred. I've learned mine already. 
 
 Charley. So have I. 
 
 Wilder. You must not scoff at the seeming simplicity of the lessons. 
 Dr. Watts' Hymms are not so difficult to learn as Latin grammar. 
 But I wish you to commit a few lines to memory every day, in order 
 to cultivate retentive mental faculties, of which you both stand in 
 need. Now give me the book. (Stands up.) Come forward, and repeat 
 the lines, Frederick. 
 
 Fred, (stands beside cliair, c, on which is a loose red cushion, and 
 repeats the following lines in a slip-shod manner, meanwhile rolling in 
 his hands apiece of cobble r's wax, tvhich he has abstracted from one of 
 the boots :) — 
 
 " How doth the little busy bee 
 Improve each shiuing hour ; 
 And gathers— gathers honey all the day, 
 From every opening flower. 
 •' How skillfully she builds her cell, 
 How neat she spreads her wax; 
 And— and " (Pauses) 
 
 Charley. Pa, Fred's got a lump of wax. 
 
 Fred, (jyiits it hastily on chair cushion.) Oh, you great story ! No, 
 I haven't. (Shoivs his hands.) 
 
 Wilder, (overcome with suiprise, sinks into chair, sitting iipon the 
 wax.) I am inexpressibly grieved, boys, to find that you— who have 
 been brought up carefully in the paths of truth — should accuse one 
 another of falsehood in this way. I cannot hear your lessons further 
 just now. I will leave you for a short time, during which you must 
 commit your tasks more firmly to memory. Let me impress upon 
 you to apply yourselves closely, and you will thereby gain what will 
 cling to you afterwards. Of the truth of these words, I, a self-taught 
 philosopher, am a remarkable example. (Rises and exit slowly l., the 
 cushion sticking to the tail of his coat.* Fred and Charley exit r.) 
 
 *One of the boys, in apparently endeavoring to regain the supposed piece of wax, 
 may fix the cushion by means of a pin. 
 
10 A LOVEBS STRATAGEM. 
 
 ACT II. 
 
 Scene — Same as Act 1. Harry discovered seated, reading newspaper. 
 
 Wilder, {entering i,.) Now, boys Hallo, Harry! where are the 
 
 boys ? 
 
 Harry. I saw them going into the orchard some time since. 
 
 Wilder. Dear me! And I distinctly ordered them to remain and 
 learn that hymn perfectly. But perhaps they had done so previous 
 to their departure. About how long is it since they went ? 
 
 Harry, {looldng at his watch.) I don't know exactly — perhaps an 
 hour ago. It was shortly before the shoemaker left with the tutor's 
 trunk. 
 
 Wilder. Hum ! I'm afraid they have neglected their lessons, I'll 
 hunt them up. (Going.) If they can repeat the lines they may con- 
 tinue their play; otherwise, I will bring them here, and keep them 
 until {Exit r. 
 
 Harry. Poor old Wilder ! I don't think his new educational system 
 works very well. 
 
 Enter Thomas, l., showing in Smiles, disguised as Professor 
 Jerkjoints. 
 
 Thomas. This way, sir. Take a chair, sir. Mr. Wilder will be 
 here directly. {Exit R. 
 
 Smiles. Qui; dat is I mean to say **yes. " {Sits.) The weathare 
 is ver grand to-morning, monsieur. 
 
 Harry. Very. {Aside. ) A Frenchman, evidently. I wonder what 
 he wants. 
 
 Smiles. I think I- to see you before have had the honor. I remind 
 your name is Harry Wilder. 
 
 Harry, {rising.) I certainly don't remember. 
 
 Smiles, {speaking in his natural tone.) What! forget an old friend 
 so soon ! y,,^^^ 
 
 Harry. By Jove ! Smiles, this is good ! 
 
 Smiles. Yes, this is deception No. 2. As Wilder doesn't seem to 
 be coming (Zoo/i-5 R.) I'll explain the whole thing as concisely as I can. 
 You must know tliat there is a sort of itinerant show in the town — a 
 travelling museum of curiosities. 
 
 Harry. I remember ; I saw it as I drove through this morning. 
 ** Sankey's Mammoth Exhibition, " I think it's called. 
 
 Smiles. Yes, that's the title. Well, since I was here'this morning, 
 I've seen through the exhibition, and very amusing it is from one 
 point of view. Among other curiosities, there's a sort of life-size fig- 
 ure on a pedestal, which, on being wound up, went through some re- 
 markable changes of attitude. 
 
 Harry. Indeed ! That's just the sort of thing to suit Uncle Wilder. 
 
 Smiles. So I thought; but unfortunately, or fortunately, which you 
 will, the mainspring snapped as they were winding it up a second 
 time for my special delectation. 
 
 Harry. I should call that decidedly unfortunate. 
 
 Smiles. I think it's fortunate, because it clears the way for de- 
 ception No. 3. {Looks R.) Hallo! here's Wilder! I'll tell you the 
 
A LOVEKS STRATAGEM. 11 
 
 rest afterwards. Introduce me as Professor Jerkjoints, from Sankey's 
 Mammoth Exhibition. 
 
 Enter Wilder and hoys, r. 
 
 Wilder, {entering.) I insist on each of you learning tliat third 
 verse before you leave the room. (Boys sit at table, R. c.) Hallo! a 
 strauger! 
 
 Harry. Yes, uncle. This is Professor Jerkjoints, from Sankey's 
 Mammoth Exhibition. 
 
 Smiles. Yes, sare. I come to desire if you will be so glad as come 
 to veesit our what you call automatic feegures. I have heard you are 
 clevare — ver' clevare at such works yourself, so I shall be much hap- 
 py if you will behold what I, a Frenchman, have constructed for 
 Meester Sankey. (Hands a paper.) A programme is here of all the 
 wonders to be seen. 
 
 Wilder, (looking at bill, aside.) '^ Moving Figures, " '^ Wonderful 
 Automaton, or Mechanical Man." I wouldn't miss it for ten pounds ! 
 (Aloud.) I shall have great pleasure in visiting the collection, Pro- 
 fessor — ah 
 
 Smiles. Professare Jerkjoints, monsieur, scientific what-you-call 
 machinest to Sankey's Mammoth Exhibition. 
 
 Wilder, (to boys.) You hear, boysf If you are each able to re- 
 peat that last verse witliiu five minutes, you shall go with me to the 
 show this afternoon. (Boys read diligently.) 
 
 Smiles. Ah ! ha ! good boys — ver' good boys. They will to look at 
 the show be pleased. All for you look out at the exhibition this very 
 morning. Bon jour, monsieur! 
 
 Harry. I'll see him out, uncle. This way. (Exit Harry and 
 
 Smiles, l. 
 
 Wilder. Now, boys. 
 
 Fred. I've learned it, 7iow. 
 
 Charley. So have I. 
 
 Wilder. Well? 
 
 Ch!rLey. I (''Oether.) -In works— " 
 Wilder. No— one at a time. You, Fred. 
 Fred, (repeats :) — 
 
 "In works of labor, or of skill, 
 I would be busy too ; 
 For Satan finds some mischief still 
 For idle hands to do." 
 
 Wilder. That will do. Now, Charles. (Charles repeats verse 
 correctly.) Very good. You shall both go with me to the show this 
 afternoon. Now go and play. (Exeunt R. 
 
 ACT III. 
 
 Scene — A enrtain drawn across bach of stage. Pedestal L. c. Mr. 
 
 Sankey is talking to Smiles, who is nibbing his face and hands 
 
 with white powder. A large white sheet, and a sfiort, turly white 
 
 ivig are lying on pedestal. 
 
 Sankey. And yon must only move when I pretends to touch the 
 
 springs, you know. 
 
12 A lover's stratagem. 
 
 Smiles. Yes ; I know. You'll remember those classical subjects I 
 told j'ou to introduce, Mr. Sankey. 
 
 ISankey. I has 'em here {points to his head) all right. But look 
 alive ! it's a'most time to open. 
 
 Smiles. I'm nearly ready. Where's that wig? Oh, here! {Puts 
 ov wig.) Oh, if the old gentleman we were talking of asks for Prof ess- 
 or Jerkjoints, say he's gone — ill — anything you like ! Now the dra- 
 peries. {Envelopes himself in sheet, and gets on pedestal.) Do I look 
 statuesque, eh? {Noise loitliout.) 
 
 Sankey. {going r. ) Wery. Are you ready ? 
 
 Smiles. Stop! Conceal me till my turn comes, by putting that 
 piece of canvas over my head. 
 
 Sankey. Yes ; perhaps it's better. 
 
 Smiles. Gently! Don't disarrange the wig, or wipe off the powder, 
 or there'll be a disclosure. 
 
 Sankey. (placing canvas.) There, that'll do. {Going r.) 
 
 Smiles. And, I say, be careful in taking it off. 
 
 Sankey. Hush ! I'm going to open. (Exit r. u. e., as if going up 
 steps. ) 
 
 Sankey. {without.) Walk up — walk up! Ladies and gentlemen, 
 walk up and see the most wonderful collection of mechanical curi- 
 osities that ever existed in this world. These unequalled figures, 
 ladies and gentlemen, are surpassed by the surprising Tommyton, or 
 mechanical man, the wonder of the collection, which has caused as- 
 tonishment and delight wherever exhibited! 
 
 Enter Wilder, Harry, Fred, and Charley, r. u. e.* They stare 
 about them. 
 
 Wilder. Where is the automaton, I wonder ? 
 Charley. It's a sell ! There's nothing to see. 
 
 Sankey. {without.) Remember, these wonders may be viewed for 
 the small charge of sixpence ; children half-price ! 
 
 Enter ViiiLAGERS, male and female, one or two at 6, time ; among them 
 Twitch, still dressed in Smiles' hat and coat. Boys may be 
 dressed as women in this scene. 
 
 Sankey. {loithout.) Walk up — walk up ! The lecturer is just going 
 his rounds ! 
 
 Enter Sankey, with long white wand. 
 
 Sankey. This side (2>oi)ite r.) ladies and gentlemen. {Stands on a 
 low step-ladder, r. u. e., and pretends to remove a blind or curtain. All 
 the spectators gaze off R.) 
 
 Villagers. E-e-e-e-h ! 
 
 Sankey. In this section of the exhibition you behold striking life- 
 size models of all the Kings and Queens of England from William the 
 Fourth down to Queen Victoria. This collection is allowed to be the 
 most beautiful and perfect now travelling. In this division further 
 to the right you behold the "■ Flowery Land" pirates and murderers, 
 which, lor their crimes, were, executed on tlie scuffle on the 30th of 
 February, eighteen-hundred and something more! Pass on to the 
 
 * All the characters in this scene enter and exit E. u. E.. as though coming down 
 or going up steps. The effect may be obtained by means of a stool at the entrance. 
 
A lover's stratagem. 13 
 
 next carriage, ladies and gentlemen. (Turns and removes curtain at 
 hack and discloses Italf a dozen fi<j ares, personated hij hoys, in fantastic 
 costumes, on a raised pJatfortn. 
 
 ViLLAGKES. E-e-e-e-h!* 
 
 Sankey. This uneqiuilled group represents six life-like figures, taken 
 from ancient and modei'n history. Here, to the left, is Napoleon 
 Boneypart, as he ajjpeared when out at Elba ! 
 
 Villager, (i^o Twitch.) What did he say ? 
 
 Twitch. Out at elbow. Can't you see th' hole in his sleeve ? 
 
 Villager. Oh ! Yes, I see. 
 
 Sankey. Confi'onting him — which is still allowed to be a remark- 
 able likeness, though the face lias met with a haccident — is the Duke 
 of Wellington. 
 
 Wilder. Why, it's more like Othello. His face looks as black as if 
 it had been inked ! 
 
 Harry. Ah ! no doubt that's why he's called Well-inked-'un. 
 
 Sankey. The third figure is an exact model of Brigham Young, the 
 Mormon Chief, as he appeared at the last census, wlien he was inform- 
 ed that he had thirty-nine wives, and two hundred and sixty-two chil- 
 dren living. The visitors to this exhibition are allowed the privilege 
 of supposing that Mr. Young's family is outside, without hextra 
 charge. 
 
 Villagers. He ! he ! he ! 
 ': Sankey. The next figure has a peculiar happy resemblance to Pro- 
 fessor Darwin, as he appeared when he broke his w^atch-chain, and 
 was looking for the missing link. The last two figures in this group 
 represent Joe Smikes, the atrocious mui'derer, and his uufort'nit wic- 
 tim, Mary Smith, which he lured her into a lonely part of the Strand, 
 and in broad mid-day villinously stabbed her with a toothpick ; for 
 which crime he was condemned at the last assizes to transportation 
 for life, for the period of seven years. Hobserve, the deadly weapon 
 is still clutched in his right hand. I will now set the figures in motion, 
 and you will then perceive them as they appeared when they looked 
 just like this. (Puts his hands to his mouth and shouts off R. u. e.) 
 Crank ! ( The figures all at once commence to roll their eyes and jerk their 
 heads and arms in a spasmodic and unnatural manner.) Ladies and 
 gentleman, hobserve the appropriateness and naturalness of the dif- 
 ferent movements, which fills all beholders wdth wonder and astonish- 
 ment. (Shouts off.) ThafU do, Bill ! (The figures simultaneously stop, 
 and Sankey draws the curtain.) 
 
 Wilder. But where is the ''Mechanical Man, " as you call it? 
 
 Sankey. I'm just agoing to exhibit him, sir. (Places step-ladder c, 
 and removes canvas.) Ladies and gentlemen, you here behold the won- 
 derful Tommyton, or Mechanical Man, which has been constructed at 
 the cost of ten years' labor, and an enormous sum of money. Your 
 humble servant, the present proprietor, having made a large fortune 
 by exhibiting of it, is anxious to sell this wonderful piece of mechani- 
 o.il art, and retire into private life. The price is placed as ridiculous- 
 ly low as ten pounds — ten pounds, gentlemen, which it cost me ten 
 t imes that sum to produce it. This classical Tommyton, in its present 
 hnttitude, personates Happoller. Hobserve the majesty of its form, 
 the beauty of it's contoor, and the graceful pose of the 'ead. By 
 toiK'hing this spi'ing with the point of my wand, the figure revolves 
 if self into the hattitude of Stonewall Jackson defying the lightning. 
 (Smiles raises his right arm in a defiant manner.) 
 
14 A lover's stratagem. 
 
 Villagers. E-e-e-e-h! 
 
 Wilder. I suppose he means Ajax. 
 
 Sankey. The next spring on being touched, shows the character of 
 Murphy, the god asleep. (Smiles drops his arm and closes his eyes.) 
 
 Wilder. He means Morpheus, the god of sleep, Harry. 
 
 Sankey. I hear some person in the awjenee passin' remarks, as if 
 he wasn't satisfied. Any person unsatisfied with the hentertainment 
 may go to tlie door, and ax for his money back (aside ;) and I don't 
 tliiiik he'll get it. {Aloud. ) I now touch the last spring, which 
 throws the figure into the attitude of Lord Brougham driving his son. 
 (Smiles stretches his hands forward.) 
 
 Wilder. Oh dear ! He means Phaeton, driving the Chariot of the 
 Sun. 
 
 Sankey. Ladies and gentlemen, the entertainment is now conclu- 
 ded, hoping you are all satisfied, and will recommend it to your friends 
 and neighbors. (Villagers exit r. u. e.) Any person wishing to be- 
 come the owner of this wonderful Tommy ton will oblige by remaining 
 behind and the matter will be settled in private. 
 
 Wilder. I should like to buy it, if only to show my sceptical daugh- 
 ter Grace what may be done in this way by a clever mechanic. Let 
 me see how it works. Oh ! here is a spring. {Touches front of pedes- 
 tal. Smiles assumes a ho.ving attitude, and hits Wi'lb'E.r^s hat smartly.) 
 Dear me ! it's very violent. 
 
 Sankey. Ha! ha! You shouldn't ha' touched that. That's the 
 spring for Bulger, the prize-fighter. 
 
 Wilder. I really think I'd better not have it. It's very violent, 
 
 Sankez. He's quiet as a lamb, sir, if you keep off that spring. 
 You'd better take him. 
 
 Wilder. What do you say, Harry ? 
 
 Harry. Oh, don't let the opportunity slip. Buy him for Grace. 
 Say she may have him. 
 
 Wilder. Ah, very well. {Takes out purse.) Here is your ten 
 pounds, Mr. Sankey. I'll take him home for Grace. (Hands yyioney.) 
 
 Smiles, {leaping' off pedestal, and flinging aside wig, ^c.) Thank 
 you, sir! 
 
 Wilder. Goodness gracious ! Grey — or whatever your name is — 
 what is the meaning of this ? Where is Professor Jerkjoints ? -He, I 
 am sure, is no party to such a shameful swindle ! 
 
 Smiles, {changing his voice.) Prof essare Jerkjoints, sare, has heard 
 you are clevare — ver' elevare, and is much happy dat you have behold 
 what he constructed for Meestar Sankey. 
 
 Wilder. Gracious powers ! Another imposition ! You, then, were 
 the strange individual who called himself Professor Jerkjoints ? 
 
 Smiles. Yes ; and also another strange individual who informed 
 you that {changes voice) ''Maister's main bad to-day, sur. He's got 
 the dumblingo, sur; he can't walk liardly." 
 
 Wilder. The shoemaker ! Is impossible ? Surprise can go no fur- 
 ther. You are an adept at character acting, I must confess. Since this 
 morning you have personated — for what earthly purpose I cannot 
 surmise — a shoemaker, a Frenchman, an automaton, and — anything 
 else? 
 
 Smiles. No ; those are all, and plenty too, for they fulfil the con- 
 ditions of your challenge. 
 
 Wilder. My challenge ! What do you mean ? 
 
 Smiles. Do you not remember saying to me this morning, " If you 
 
A lover's stratagem. 15 
 
 are clever enough to deceive me effectually thrice over, I'll give you 
 my daughter " ? 
 
 Wilder. Dear me ! I think I do remember saying something like 
 that; but 
 
 Smilp:s. No ''but's, " I pray. I have fulfilled my part of the pro- 
 gramme : I call upon you to fulfil yours. Besides this, you, a few 
 minutes since, promised to take me home to Grace. 
 
 Wilder. But — hang it! I will introduce a "but" if I like — when I 
 consider that Grace's happiness may be wrecked by the fulfilment of 
 that promise, I am more than half inclined to break it. 
 
 Smiles, Believe me, sir, Grace's happiness lies in the other scale. 
 It is possible to keep your word, and render your daughter happy at 
 the same time. But there I I fling aside all subterfuge ; I release you 
 from an unintentional bond, and again ask you to entrust Grace's 
 future to the keeping of Frank Smiles, an honorable member of an 
 honorable profession. 
 
 Wilder. Dear me! that's very straightforward. I like you for that, 
 young man I But I am not the only one who has a right to speak in 
 the matter. Harry, here, I believe, has a sort of claim. 
 
 Harry. Which I relinquish in favor of my old friend. (Shakes hands 
 with Smiles. ) Not a very noble deed, considering Grace doesn't care 
 for me, and dotes on Frank. 
 
 Wilder. Well, if Grace keeps in the same mind, I suppose I mustn't 
 object. 
 
 Smiles. Thank you again. Your last speech, Mr. Wilder, strongly 
 reminds me of a sentence always spoken by the stereotyped father or 
 guardian in an old stock-farce towards the tag-end of the piece. I 
 always thought that phase of character very unnatural till now. So 
 doubtless thought the indulgent friends before us, and perhaps they 
 think so yet. (To audience.) If however, the actions of the moving 
 figures which have appeared before you, have helped to brighten a dull 
 hour, we shall never regret introducing you among the Scientific and 
 Mechanical Waxwoiks, Automaton, life-size portraits, moving figures, 
 and natural curiosities collected together in Sankey's Mammoth 
 Exhibition ! 
 
 Fred, Charley. Wilder, Smiles. Harry, Sankey. 
 
 R. c. L. 
 
 CURTAIN. 
 
DE WITT'S ACTmG PLAYS. 
 
 jg@=- riease notice that nearly all the Comedies, Farces and Comediettas in the following 
 List of " De Witt's Acting Plays " are very suitable for representation in small Amateur 
 Theatres and on Parlor Stages, as they need but little extrinsic aid trum complex scenery 
 or expensive costumes. They have attained their deserved popularity by their droll situa- 
 tions, excellent plots, great humor and brilliant dialogues, no less than by the fact that 
 they are the most perfect in every respect of any edition of plays ever published either in 
 the United States or Europe, whether as regards purity of text, accuracy and fullness of 
 stage directions and scenery, or elegauce of typography and clearness of printing. 
 
 *;^* In ordering please copy the figures at the commencement of each piece, which 
 indicate the number of the piece in " De Witt's List of Acting Plays." 
 
 je@= Any of the following Plays sent, postage free, on receipt of price— ^i/lfeen Cents 
 each. 
 
 jgeS" The figure following the name of the Play denotes the niimber of Acts. The 
 figures in the columns indicate the number of characters— M. male; F. female. 
 
 75. 
 231. 
 
 lU. 
 167. 
 
 93. 
 
 40. 
 
 89. 
 258. 
 
 287. 
 
 166. 
 310. 
 
 41. 
 141. 
 223. 
 
 67. 
 
 36. 
 279. 
 296. 
 160. 
 179. 
 
 25. 
 
 70. 
 261. 
 226. 
 
 24. 
 199. 
 
 1. 
 175. 
 55. 
 
 6G. 
 80. 
 65. 
 68. 
 219. 
 
 76. 
 205, 
 
 149, 
 121. 
 
 M. ] 
 
 Adrieune, drama, 3 acts 7 
 
 All that Glitters is not Gold, comic 
 
 drama, 2 acts 6 
 
 All on Account of a Bracelet, come- 
 dietta, 1 act 2 
 
 Anything for a Change, comedy.l act 3 
 Apple Blossoms, comedy, 3 acts. . . 7 
 
 Area Belle, farce, 1 act. 3 
 
 Atchi, comedietta, 1 act 3 
 
 Aunt Charlotte's Maid, farce, 1 act. 3 
 Aunt Dinah's Pledge, temperance 
 
 drama, 2 acts 6 
 
 Bachelor's Box (La Petite Hotel), 
 
 comedietta, 1 act 4 
 
 Bardell vs. Pickwick, sketch. 1 act. 6 
 Barrack Room (The), comedietta,2a. 6 
 
 Beautiful Forever, farce, 1 act 2 
 
 Bells (The), drama, 3 acts 9 
 
 Betsey Baker, farce, 1 act 2 
 
 Birthplace of Podgers, fai'ce, 1 act.. 7 
 
 Black Sheep, drama, 3 acts 7 
 
 Black-Eyed Susan, drama, 2 acts. . . 14 
 
 Black aijd White, drama, 3 acts 6 
 
 Blow for Blow, drama, 4 acts 11 
 
 Breach of Promise, drama, 2 acts. . 5 
 Brokeu-Hearted Club, comedietta. . 4 
 
 Bonnie Fish Wife, farce, 1 act 3 
 
 Bottle (The), drama, 2 acts 11 
 
 Box and Cox, Romance.jii act 2 
 
 Cabman No. 93, farce, 1 act 2 
 
 Captain of the Watch, comedietta, 
 
 1 act 6 
 
 Caste, comedy, 3 acts 5 
 
 Cast upon the World, drama, 5 acts.ll 
 Catharine Howard, historical play, 
 
 3 acts 12 
 
 Canglit by the Cuflf, farce. 1 act. ... 4 
 
 Charming Pair, farce, 1 act. 4 
 
 Checkmate, comedy, 2 acts 6 
 
 Chevalier de St, George, drama, 3a. 9 
 Chimney C<n'nev (The), domestic 
 
 drama, 3 acts 5 
 
 Chops of the Channel, farce, 1 act. . 3 
 Circumstances alter Case'?, comic 
 
 operetta, 1 act 1 
 
 Clouds, comedy, 4 acts 8 
 
 Comical Countess, farce, 1 act 3 
 
 3 
 
 222. 
 
 
 248, 
 
 3 
 
 1U7. 
 
 
 152. 
 
 2 
 
 52. 
 
 3 
 
 148. 
 
 3 
 
 
 2 
 
 113. 
 
 2 
 
 20. 
 
 3 
 
 286. 
 
 
 4. 
 
 8 
 
 22. 
 
 
 275. 
 
 1 
 
 9(5. 
 
 2 
 
 16. 
 
 2 
 
 58. 
 
 2 
 
 vi:y. 
 
 3 
 
 71. 
 
 2 
 
 142. 
 
 3 
 
 204. 
 
 5 
 
 21. 
 
 2 
 
 260. 
 
 3 
 
 210, 
 
 6 
 
 263. 
 
 2 
 
 186. 
 
 8 
 
 242. 
 
 1 
 
 47. 
 
 6 
 
 283. 
 
 1 
 
 
 2 
 
 202. 
 
 
 315. 
 
 2 
 
 297. 
 
 3 
 
 
 5 
 
 200, 
 
 
 135, 
 
 
 
 230. 
 
 1 
 
 103. 
 
 3 
 
 9, 
 
 5 
 
 
 3 
 
 128. 
 
 
 101. 
 
 2 
 
 90, 
 
 2 
 
 262. 
 
 1 
 
 145. 
 
 7 
 
 102. 
 
 1 
 
 88. 
 
 Cool as a Cucumber, farce, 1 act.. . . 3 
 Cricket on the Hearth, drama, 8 acts 8 
 
 Cupboard Love, faice, 1 act 2 
 
 Cupid's Eye Glass, comedy, I act;. 1 
 
 Cup of Tea, comedietta, 1 act 3 
 
 Cut Off with a Shilling, comedietta, 
 
 1 act 2 
 
 Cyril's Success, comedy, 5 acts 10 
 
 Daddy Gray, drama. 3 acts 8 
 
 Daisy Farm, drama, 4 acts 10 
 
 Dandelion's Dodges, larco, 1 act... 4 
 
 David Garrick, comedy, 3 acts 8 
 
 Day Alter the Wedding, farce, 1 act 4 
 Dearest .Viamnia. comedietta, 1 act.. 4 
 
 M. F. 
 3 2 
 
 Dearer than Life, drama, 3 acts 6 
 
 Deborah (Leah), drama, 3 acts 7 
 
 Deerfoot, farce, 1 act 5 
 
 Doing for the Best, drama, 2 acts,. 6 
 Dollars and Cents, comedy, 3 acts. . 9 
 Drawing Room Cai(A),coniedy,l act 2 
 
 Dreams, drama, 5 acts 6 
 
 Drunkard's Warning, drama, 3 acts 6 
 Drunkard's Doom (The), drama, 2a. 15 
 
 Drunkard (The), drama, 5 acts 13 
 
 Duchess de la Valliere.play, 5 acts.. 6 
 
 Dumb Belle (The), farce, 1 act 4 
 
 Easy Shaving, farce. 1 act 5 
 
 E. C B. Snsan Jane, musical bur- 
 lesque, 1 act 8 
 
 Eileen Oge, Iri^-li diania, 4 acts 11 
 
 Electric Love, farce, 1 act 1 
 
 English Gentleman (An), comedy- 
 drama, 4 acts 7 
 
 Estranged, operetta, 1 act 2 
 
 Everybody's Friend, comedy, 3 acts 6 
 Family Jars, musical farce, 2 acts,. 5 
 Faust and Marguerite, drama, 3 acts 9 
 Fearful Tragedy in the Seven Dials, 
 
 interlude, 1 act 4 
 
 Female Detective, drama, 3 acts.-. . . 11 
 
 Fernande, drama, 3 acts.. 
 
 Fifth Wheel, comedy, 3 acts 
 
 Fifteen Years of a Drunkard's Life, 
 
 melodrama. 3 acts 13 
 
 First Love, comedy, 1 act 4 
 
 Foiled, drama, 4 acts 9 
 
 Founded on Facts, farce, 1 aet 4 
 
 11 10 
 10 2 
 
DE WITT'S ACTING PLAYS -Continued. 
 
 259. 
 192. 
 
 74. 
 
 53. 
 
 7a. 
 
 30. 
 
 131. 
 276. 
 306. 
 277. 
 
 205. 
 241. 
 
 28. 
 
 151. 
 
 8. 
 
 180. 
 
 303. 
 
 19. 
 
 60. 
 191. 
 246. 
 301. 
 224. 
 187. 
 1.74. 
 :^11. 
 
 64. 
 190. 
 197. 
 225. 
 252. 
 
 18. 
 116. 
 
 29. 
 JL59. 
 278. 
 282. 
 273. 
 243. 
 271. 
 244. 
 270. 
 274. 
 122. 
 177. 
 100. 
 299. 
 139. 
 
 17. 
 23J. 
 309. 
 
 86. 
 137. 
 
 72. 
 lii. 
 
 34. 
 LSf). 
 253. 
 111. 
 119. 
 239. 
 
 48. 
 
 32. 
 164. 
 295. 
 165. 
 228. 
 
 M. K. 
 
 Fruits of the Wine Cup, drama, 3 cts 6 3 
 
 Game of Cards (A), cumedietta, la.. 3 1 
 
 Garrick Fever, larce, 1 act 7 4 
 
 Gertrude's Mouey Box, farce, 1 act. 4 2 
 
 Goldeu Fetters (Fetterud), drama, 3.11 4 
 Goose with tke Goldeu liygB, farce, 
 
 laet 5 3 
 
 Go to Putuey, farce, 1 act 4 3 
 
 Good for Nothiug. comic drauia, la. 5 1 
 
 Great Success (A), comedy, 3 acts. . 8 5 
 Griuisbaw, Bagshaw aud Bradsliaw, 
 
 farce, 1 act .-.4: 2 
 
 Heir Apparent (The), farce. 1 act... 5 1 
 
 Haudy Audy, drama, 2 acts 10 3 
 
 Hanpy Pair, comedietta, 1 act 1 1 
 
 Hard Case (A), farce, 1 act 2 
 
 Heury Duubar, drama, 4 acts 10 3 
 
 Heury the Fifth, hist, play, 5 acts. . 38 5 
 
 Her Ouly Fault, comedietta, 1 act. . 2 2 
 
 He's a Luuatic, farce, 1 act 3 2 
 
 Hiddeu Haud, drama, 4 acts 5 5 
 
 High C, comedietta, 1 act 3 3 
 
 High Life Below St.airs,farce,2 acts. 9 5 
 
 Hinko, romautic drauia, 8 acts 12 7 
 
 Hi'^ Last Legs, farce, 2 acts 5 3 
 
 His Owu Euemy, farce, 1 act 5 1 
 
 Home, comedy, 3 acts 4 3 
 
 Houesty is the Best Policy, play. 1. 2 
 
 Household Fairy, sketch, i act. ... 1 1 
 
 lluutiug tlie Slippers, farce. 1 act. . 4 1 
 
 Huuchback (The), play, 5 acts 13 2 
 
 Ici ou Parle Fraucais, farce, 1 act... 3 4 
 
 Idiot Wituess, melcdrama, 3 acts. 6 1 
 
 If I had a Thousand a Year, farce. 1 4 3 
 
 I'm uot Mesilf at all. Irish stew, la. 3 2 
 
 lu for a Holiday, farce, 1 act. 2 3 
 
 In the Wrouj; House, farce, 1 acr.. . 4 2 
 
 Irish Attoruey (The), farce. 2 acts.. 8 2 
 
 Irish Broom Maker, farce. 1 act ... 9 3 
 
 Irishmau in Loud(m, farce, 1 acts.. 6 3 
 
 Irish Liou (The), farce, 1 act 8 3 
 
 Irish Po.vit (The), drauia 1 act 9 3 
 
 Irish Tutor (The), farce, 1 act 5 2 
 
 Irish Tiger (The), farce. 1 act 5 1 
 
 Irish Widow (The), farce. 2 acts. ... 7 1 
 
 Isabella Orsiui, drauia. 4 acts 11 -i 
 
 I Shall Invite the Major, comedy, 14 1 
 
 Jack Loug, drama, 2 acts *. . . 9 2 
 
 Joau of Arc, hist, play, 5 acts 26 
 
 Joy is Daugerous. c(miedy, 2 acts. . 3 3 
 
 Kind to a Fault, comedy,' 2 acts 6 4 
 
 Kis; iu the Dark (A), farce. 1 act... . 2 3 
 
 Ladies' Battle (Tlie). comedy, 3 acts 7 2 
 
 Lady of Lyous, play, 5 acts 12 5 
 
 L'.Article 47, drama, 3 acts 11 5 
 
 Lame Excuse, farce, 1 act i 2 
 
 Lancashire Lass, melodrama. 4 acts. 12 3 
 
 Larkins' Love Letters, ftrce. 1 act.. 3 2 
 
 Leap Year, musical duality, 1 act... .1 1 
 
 Loud Me Five Shillings, farce, 1 act 5 3 
 
 Lar (The), comedy, 2 acts 7 2 
 
 Life Chase, drama, 5 ac^ts 14 5 
 
 Limericlc Bov (The), farce. 1 act 6 2 
 
 Little Annie's Birthdav. farce, 1 act..2 4 
 
 Little Rebel, farce, 1 act 4 3 
 
 Little Ruby, drama, 3 acts 6 6 
 
 Little Em'ly, drama, 4 acts 8 8 
 
 Living Statue (The), farce. 1 act 3 2 
 
 Loan of a Lover (The), vaudeville,!. 4 1 
 
 109. Locked in, comedietta, 1 act 2 ; 
 
 85. Locked in with a Lady, sketch 1 1 
 
 87. Locked Out, comic scene 1 1 
 
 143. Lodgers aud Lodgers, iaice, 1 act. . 4 2 
 212. London Assurance, comedy, 6 acts. 10 3 
 
 291. M. P., comedy, 4 acts .' 7 2 
 
 210. Mabel's Manceuvre, interlude, 1 act 1 3 
 
 163. Marcoretti, drama, 3 at ts 10 3 
 
 154. Maria aud Biagdaleua, play, 4 acts.. 8 6 
 63. Marriage at any Price, larce, ] act.. 5 3 
 
 249. Marriage a Lottery, comedy, 2 acts. 3 4 
 208. Married Bachelors, comedietta, la.. 3 2 
 
 39. Master Jones' Birthday, faice, 1 act 4 2 
 
 7. Maiul's Peril, drama, 4 acts 5 3 
 
 49. Miduight Watch, drama, 1 act 8 2 
 
 15. Milky White, drama, 2 acts 4 2 
 
 46. Miriam's Crime, drama, 3 acts 6 2 
 
 51. Model of a Wife, farce, 1 act 3 2 
 
 302. Model Pair (A), comedy, 1 act 2 2 
 
 184. Mouey, comedy, 5 acts 17 3 
 
 250. More Bluuders"^thau One, farce, la. 4 3 
 312. More Sinned against than Sinning, 
 
 original Irish drama, 4 acts 11 
 
 234. Morning Call (A), comedietta, 1 act. 1 1 
 
 108. Mr. Scroggius, farce, 1 act 3 3 
 
 188. Mr. X., farce. 1 act 3 3 
 
 109. Mv Uncle's Suit, farce, 1 act 4 1 
 
 216. My Neighbor's Wife, farce, 1 act. , . .3 3 
 
 2oG. My Turn Next, farce, 1 act 4 3 
 
 193. My Walking Photograph, musical 
 
 duality, 1 act 1 1 
 
 267. My Wife's Bonnet, farce, 1 act 3 4 
 
 loO. Mv Wife's Diary, farce, 1 act 3 1 
 
 92. My VAfe's Ont,"farce, 1 act 2 2 
 
 218. Naval Eugagements, farce, 2 acts. . . 4 2 
 140. Nevur Reckon your Chickens, etc., 
 
 farce. 1 act 3 4 
 
 115. New Men and Old Acres, comedy, 3 8 6 
 
 2. Nobody's Child, drama, 3 acts 18 3 
 
 57. Noemie, drama. 2 acts.. 4 4 
 
 104. No Name, di-ama, 5 acts 7 5 
 
 112. Not a bit Jealous, larce, 1 act 3 3 
 
 298. Not if I Know it, larce, 1 act 4 4 
 
 18.". Not so bad as we Seem, play, 5 acts. 13 3 
 
 84. Not Guilty, drama, 4 acts 10 6 
 
 117. Not such a Fool as he Looks, drama, 
 
 3 acts 5 4 
 
 171. Nothiug like Paste, farce. 1 act 3 1 
 
 14. No Thoroughfare, dran)a, 5 acts 13 6 
 
 ;i00. Notre Dame, drama. 3 acts 11 8 
 
 269. Object of Interest (An), farce, 1 act. 4 3 
 
 268. Obstinate Family (The), farce, 1 act. 3 3 
 
 173. Off the Stage, comedietta, 1 act 3 3 
 
 227. Omnibus (The), farce, 1 act. . .... 5 4 
 
 176. Ou Bread and Water, farce, 1 act.. . 1 2 
 254. One Too Many, farce. 1 act 4 2 
 
 33. One Too Many for Him, farce, 1 act 2 3 
 
 3. £100,000. comedy, 3 acts 8 4 
 
 90. Only a Hal tpenny . farce. 1 act ..... 2 2 
 
 170. Only Somebody, farce. 1 act. 4 2 
 
 289. On the Jury, drama, 4 act? 5 5 
 
 97. Orange Blossoms, comedietta, 1 act 3 3 
 
 66. Orange Girl, drama. 4 acts 18 4 
 
 209. Otheilo, tra.gedy. 5 acts 16 2 
 
 172. Ours, comedy, 3 acts 6 3 
 
 94. Our Clerks, farce, 1 art 7 5 
 
 45. Our Domestics, comedy-farce, 2 acts 6 
 
 155. Our Heroes, military play, 5 acts.. .24 5 
 178. Out at Sea, drama, 5 acts .... 17 5 
 
DE WITT'S ACTING PLAYS-Oontinued. 
 
 147. 
 
 305. 
 285. 
 15(j. 
 
 82. 
 127. 
 
 23. 
 
 61. 
 
 138. 
 217. 
 110. 
 
 50. 
 
 59. 
 
 95. 
 280. 
 
 181. 
 196. 
 
 255. 
 157. 
 132. 
 237. 
 183. 
 
 38. 
 
 77. 
 316. 
 
 193. 
 247. 
 194. 
 
 13. 
 229. 
 158. 
 201. 
 264. 
 
 79. 
 203. 
 
 37. 
 
 43. 
 
 6. 
 
 »21. 
 
 10. 
 
 2(>. 
 207. 
 B04. 
 
 78. 
 215. 
 
 232. 
 
 31. 
 1.50. 
 120. 
 
 Ovorlaucl Koute, comedy, 3 acts 11 5 
 
 Pail- of Shoes (A), farce, 1 act 4 3 
 
 Partuers fur Life, comedy, 3 acts 7 4 
 
 Peace at any Price, lai'ce, 1 act 1 1 
 
 Peep o' Day, drama, 4 acts .12 4 
 
 Peggy Green, farce, 1 act 3 10 
 
 Petticoat Parliaixieut, extravaganza, 
 
 lact 15 24 
 
 Philomel, romantic drama, 3 acts.. . 6 4 
 
 Photographic l-'ix, farce, 1 act 3 2 
 
 Plot and Passion, drama, 3 acts. ... 7 2 
 
 Poll and Partner Joe, bnrlesqe, la.. 10 3 
 
 Poor Pillicoddy, farce, 1 act 2 3 
 
 Poppletou's Predicaments, farce, la. 3 6 
 
 Porter's Knot, drama, 2 acts 8 2 
 
 Post Boy, drama. 2 acts 5 3 
 
 Pretty Horse-Breaker. farce 3 10 
 
 Pretty Piece of Business (A), come- 
 dy, lact 2 3 
 
 182. Queen Mary, drama. 4 acts 37 9 
 
 Queerest Courtship (The), comic 
 
 operetta, 1 act 1 1 
 
 Quiet Family, farce, 1 act 4 4 
 
 Quite at Home, comedietta, 1 act. . . 5 2 
 
 Race for a Dinner, farce, 1 act 10 
 
 Regular Fix (A), farce. 1 act 6 4 
 
 Ilichelien, play, 5 acts 12 2 
 
 Rightful Heir, drama, 5 acts 10 2 
 
 Roll of the Drum, drama, 3 acts 8 4 
 
 Romeo ou the Gridiron (A), mono- 
 logue, for a lady 1 
 
 Rosemi Shell, burlesque, 4 scenes.. 6 3 
 
 Rough Diamond (The), farce, 1 act. 6 3 
 
 Rum, drama, 3 acts 7 4 
 
 Ruy Bias, drama, 4 acts 12 4 
 
 Sarah's Young Man, farce, 1 act 3 3 
 
 Scliool, comedy, 4 acts, 6 G 
 
 School for Scandal, comedy, 5 acts. .13 4 
 
 Scrap of Paper (A), comic drama, 3a. 6 6 
 
 Sheep inWolf's Clothing, dx-ama, la. 7 5 
 
 She Stoops to Conquer, comedy, 5a.l5 4 
 
 Silent Protector, farce. 1 act 3 2 
 
 Silent Woman, farce, 1 act 2 1 
 
 Single Married Mau (A), comic ope- 
 retta, 1 act , 6 2 
 
 Sisterly Service, comedietta, 1 act.. 7 2 
 
 Six Months Ago, comedietta, 1 act.. 2 1 
 
 Slasher and Crasher, farce, 1 act. . . 5 2 
 
 Snapping Turtles, duologue, 1 act. . .1 1 
 
 Society, comedy, 3 acts 16 5 
 
 Sold Again, comic operetta, 1 act... 3 1 
 
 Sparking, comedietta, 1 act 1 2 
 
 Special Performances, farce, 1 act. . 7 3 
 Still Waters Run Deep, comedy, .3a. 9 2 
 Sweethearts, dramatic contrast, 2a.. 2 2 
 Tail (Tale) of a Shark, musical mon- 
 ologue, 1 scene. 1 
 
 Taming a Tiger, farce, 1 act 3 
 
 Tell-Tale Heart, comedietta, 1 act. . 1 2 
 
 Tempest iu a Teapot, comedy, 1 act 2 1 
 
 M- r. 
 
 Ten Nights in a Bar Room, drama, 
 
 5 acts 8 2 
 
 There's no Smuke Avithout Fire, 
 
 comedietta, 1 act 1 2 
 
 Thrice Married, iJersouatiou piece, 
 
 1 act 6 1 
 
 Thumping Legacy (A), 1 act. 7 1 
 
 Ticket of Leave Mau, drama, 4 acts. 9 3 
 
 Time and the Hour, drama, 3 acts. 7 3 
 
 Time and Tide, drama, 4 acts 7 5 
 
 Timothy to the Rescue, farce, 1 act 4 2 
 'Tis Better to Live than to Die, 
 
 farce, 1 act 2 1 
 
 Tompkins the Troubadour, farce. 1. 3 2 
 
 Toodles (The), drama, 2 acts 10 2 
 
 To Oblige Benson, comedietta, 1 act 3 2 
 
 Trying It On, farce, 1 act 3 3 
 
 Turning the Tables, farce, 1 act. . . 5 3 
 
 Turn Him Out, farce, 1 act 3 2 
 
 Tweedie's Rights, comedy, 2 acts. . 4 2 
 
 Twice Killed, farce, 1 act 6 3 
 
 'Twixt Axe and Crown, play, 5 acts.24 13 
 
 Twin Si,--ters, comic operetta, 1 act. 2 2 
 
 Two B(mnycastlcs, farce, 1 act 3 3 
 
 Two Buzzards (The), farce, 1 act 3 2 
 
 Two Gay Deceivers, face, 1 act 3 
 
 Two Polts, farce, 1 act 4 i 
 
 Two Roses (The), comedy. 3 acts. . . 7 4 
 
 Two Thorns (The), comedy, 4 acts.. 9 4 
 
 Uncle Dick's Darling, drama, 3 acts 6 5 
 
 Uncle's Will, comedietta, 1 act 2 1 
 
 Up for the Cattle Show, farce, 1 act 6 2 
 
 Vandyke Brown, farce, 1 act 3 3 
 
 Veteran of 1812 (The), romantic mil- 
 itary drama, 5 acts 12 2 
 
 Volunteer Review, farce, 1 act 6 6 
 
 Walpole, comedy in rhyme 7 2 
 
 Wanted, a Young Lady, farce, 1 act. 2 1 
 Wanted, One Thousand Spirited 
 Young Milliners for the Gold Re- 
 gions, farce, 1 act 3 7 
 
 War to to the Knife, comedy, 3 acts 5 4 
 
 What Tears can do, comedietta, la.. 3 2 
 
 Which of the Two? comedietta, la.. 2 10 
 
 Who Killed Cock Robin? farce, 2a.. 2 2 
 
 Who is Who ? farce 3 2 
 
 Widow Hunt, comedy, 3 acts 4 4 
 
 Widow (The), comedy, 3 acts 7 6 
 
 William Tell with a Vengeance, bur- 
 lesque 8 2 
 
 (Window Curtain, monologue.-.. 1 
 
 I Circumstantial Evidence " 1 
 
 Woman in Red, drama, 4 acts 6 8 
 
 Woman's Vows and Masons' Oaths, 
 
 drama, 4 acts 10 4 
 
 Woodcock's Little Game, farce. 2a.. 4 4 
 Wrong Man in the Right Place (A), 
 
 farce, 1 act 2 3 
 
 Young Collegian, farce, 1 act 3 2 
 
 A COMPLETE DESCRIPTIVE CATALOGUE OF DE WITT'S ACT' 
 'ING PLAYS AND DE WITT'S ETHIOPIAN AND COMIC DRAMAS, 
 containing Plot, Costume, Scenery, Time of Representation, and all other informa- 
 tion, mailed free and post paid on application. Address 
 
 I>E IVITT, S3 Rose H^trcct, IVew York. 
 
'JE WITT'S DRAWING-ROOIVI OPERETTAS. 
 
 |^=*TO MUSICAL AMATEURS. 
 
 The number of Musical Amateurs, both ladies and gentlemen, is not only wry 
 ^rge, but is constantly increasinr/, and very naturally, for there is no more re^ 
 fined and jileasant mode of spending leisure hours than in singing and playing the 
 c>ioice productions of the best Composers. Hitherto there has been an almost total 
 ^ick of suitable pieces adapted to an evening's entertainment in Parlors by Amateurs. 
 iDf course whole Operas, or even parts of Operas, require orchestral accompani- 
 ments and full choruseig to give them effect, and are therefore clearly unfit for 
 jAmat'Jur pevformance, while a succession of songs lacks the interest given hy a 
 ^lot r.nd a contrast of characters. In this series (a list of which iv given below) we 
 hava endeavored to supply this want. The best Music of popular Composers is wed- 
 ded to appropriate words, and the whole dovetailed into plots that are effective aa 
 xaere petite plays, but are rendered doubly interesting by the appropriate and beavr- 
 aful Music, specially arranged for them. 
 
 LIST OF DE WITT'S MUSICAL PLAYS. 
 
 PRICE 15 CENTS EACH. 
 
 GEAP YEAB— A Musical Dual- 
 ity. By Alfhed 13. Sedgwidk. Mu- 
 sic selected and .ndapted from Oi'- 
 PENBACii's celebrated Opera. " Gene- 
 rieve de Brabant.''' One Male, one 
 Female Character. 
 
 THE TWIli SISTEHS-Comic 
 
 Operetta, in One Act. The Music 
 selected from the most popular num- 
 bers in Le Cocq's celebrated Opera 
 Souffe, " Oiro^fis Girojta,'' and tiic 
 Libretto written by Alfred B. Sedg- 
 wick. Two Male, Two Female 
 Characters. 
 
 SOLD AGAIl^ AUD GOT THE 
 
 MONEY.— Comic Operetta, in One 
 Act. The Music composed and the 
 Libretto written by Alfred B. Sedg- 
 wick. Tiiree Male, One Female 
 Character. 
 
 THE QUEEEEST OOUETSHIP. 
 
 — Co:nic Operetta, iu O.'ie Act. The 
 Music arranged from Offenbach's 
 celebrated Opera, " La Frincesse de 
 Trebizonde,'' and the Libretto writ- 
 ten by Alfred B. SEDGWicai. One 
 Male, One Female Character. 
 
 ESTKATOED— An Operetta, in 
 One Act, The Musie arranged from 
 Verdi's celebrated Opera, "11 Trov- 
 utore.'''' and tlie feibretto adapted by 
 Alfred B. Sedgwick. Two Male, 
 One Female Cliaractcr. 
 
 OIEOUMSTAITOES ALTER 
 
 CASES.— Comic Operetta, in One 
 Act. The music composed and the 
 Libretto written by Alfred B. Sedg- 
 wick. One Male, One Female Char- 
 
 MY WALKIl^G PEOTOGEAPE 
 
 —Musical Duality, in One Act. The 
 Music arranged from Le Cocq's 
 Opera, "-La Fills de Madame AngotC" 
 and the Libretto written by Ar fred 
 B. Sedgwick. One Male, One Fe- 
 male Character. 
 
 A SINGLE MAEEIET) MAN- 
 
 Comic Operetta, in One Act. The 
 Music arrauiied from Offknbach's 
 celebrated Opera Bouffe, " ^hidame 
 VArcIiiduc,^'' and the Libretto writ- 
 ten by Alfred B. Skdgwick. Six 
 Male, Two Female Cha; acters. 
 
 >J^DLLY MOEIAETY.-An insh 
 
 ^ Musical Sketch, in One Act The 
 Music composed and the Dialogue 
 written by Alfred B. Sedgwick. 
 One Male, one Female Character. 
 Suitable for the Variety Stage. 
 
 THE OKAEGE OP THE HASH 
 
 BRIGADE —A Comic Insh Musical 
 Sketch. The Musie composed and 
 the Libretto written by Joseph P. 
 Skelly. Two Male, two Female 
 Charactejr" Suitable for the Variety 
 Stage. 
 
 GAMBEINUS, KING OF LAGEB 
 
 BEER.— A Musical Ethiopian Bur- 
 lesque, in One Act. Music and Dia- 
 logue by Frank Dumont. Eight 
 Male, one Female Character. Suita- 
 ble for the Ethiopian Stage. 
 
 AFEIOANUS BLUEBEAED.-A 
 
 Musical Ethiopian Burlesque, luOne 
 Act. Music and Dialogue by Frank 
 Dumont. Four Male, four Femal« 
 Characters. Suitable for the Mhio^ 
 pian Stage. 
 
POPULAR HAND BOOKS 
 
 — FOR — 
 
 Readings^^Recitations. 
 
 GUS WILLIAMS' 
 
 Fireside Recitations, 
 
 InTos. 1 and 2. 
 
 Being careful selections of the purest, most interesting and most 
 effective pieces of prose and poetry in the language. 
 
 Many of the articles in these books have been recited by the compiler 
 with every mark of approval, before largo and refined audiences. While 
 many of the favorite standard pieces are retained, the majority are those 
 newer and fresher productions that are difficult, if not impossible, to pro- 
 cure in any one volume. 200 pages each. Stiif paper covers. 
 
 PR^IOE, S^ OEiVTS. 
 
 GUS WILLIAMS' 
 
 Standard Recitations. 
 
 A fine collection of pathetic, dramatic, comic and dialectic articles, 
 by the best writers of the times ; all of which 1 ave been found highly 
 effective before large audiences in all parts of the United States, as 
 recited by the compiler. 96 pages. Paper covers. 
 
 IP^IMCE, lO OEIVT^. 
 
 Copies of any of the above hooks sent by m'lil to any address, on receipt 
 of price. 
 
m WITT'S ETHIOPIAN AND COMIC BEAM A. -Continued. 
 
 18. 
 60. 
 37. 
 
 90. 
 
 loy. 
 
 19. 
 149. 
 151. 
 
 96. 
 
 147. 
 
 129. 
 
 101. 
 
 117. 
 44. 
 
 132. 
 145. 
 
 22. 
 
 27. 
 125. 
 
 30. 
 114. 
 
 76. 
 91. 
 
 87. 
 
 135. 
 
 92. 
 9. 
 
 57. 
 
 65. 
 
 66. 
 115. 
 
 14. 
 105. 
 
 45. 
 
 55. 
 
 M. F. 
 
 Jealous Husband, sketch 2 1 
 
 Julius the SiJot)i5er. burlesque, 3 sc. 6 1 
 Katriua's Little Gauie, Dutch act, 
 
 1 sceue 1 1 
 
 Last of the Mohicaus, sketch 3 1 
 
 Laughiug Gas, sketch, 1 sceue 6 1 
 
 Live lujuu, sketch, 4 sceues '4 1 
 
 Lost Will, sketch 4 
 
 Lucky Job, farce, 2 scenes 3 2 
 
 Luua'tic (The), farce, 1 sceue 3 
 
 Makiug a Hit, farce, 2 scenes 4 
 
 Malicious Trespass, sketch, 1 sceue. 3 
 'Meriky, Ethiopian farce, 1 sceue... 3 1 
 ;Mi('ky Free, Irish sketch, 1 sceue. . 5 
 Midnight Intruder, farce, 1 sceue . 6 1 
 Milliner's Shop (The), Ethiopian 
 
 sketch, 1 scene 2 2 
 
 Moko Marionettes, Etliiopiau ecceu- 
 
 tj'icity, 2 scenes 4 5 
 
 Molly Moriarty, Irish musical 
 
 sketch, 1 sceue 1 1 
 
 Motor Bellows, comedy, 1 act 4 
 
 :MusicaI Servant, sketch. 1 sceue — 3 
 Mutton Trial, sketch, 2 scenes .... 4 
 My Wife'sVisitors, comic drama,lsc. 6 1 
 Night in a Strauge Hotel, sketch, Isc. 2 
 Noble Savage, Ethi'n sketch, 1 sc. .. 4 
 No Pay No Cure, Ethi'n sketch. 1 sc. 5 
 
 Obeying Orders, sketch, 1 sceue 2 1 
 
 inoti). Night of Hamlet, sketch 7 1 
 
 Oh, Hush ! operatic olio 4 1 
 
 One Night in a Bar Room, sketch . . 7 
 Oue Night iu a Medical College, 
 
 Ethiopian sketch, 1 scene 7 1 
 
 One, Two, Three, sketch, 1 scene. 7 
 Painter's Apin-entice. farce, 1 sceue. 5 
 Pete and the Peddler, Negro and 
 
 Irish sketch, 1 scene 2 1 
 
 Pleasaut Companions, Ethiopian 
 
 sketch, 1 scene 5 1 
 
 Polar Bear (The), farce, 1 scene. ... 4 1 
 
 Policy Players, sketch, 1 scene 7 
 
 Pompey's Patients, interlude, 2 sc.^ 6 
 Porter's Troubles, sketch, 1 scene. . 6 1 
 
 Port Wine vs. Jealousy, sketch. 2 1 
 
 Private Boarding, comedy, 1 sceue. 2 3 
 
 Recruiting Office, sketch, 1 act 5 
 
 Reliearsal (The). Irish farce, 2 sc. . . 3 1 
 Remittance from Home, sketch. 1 sc. 6 
 Rigging a Purchase, sketch, 1 sc. .. 3 
 
 81. 
 
 26. 
 
 lo6. 
 
 15. 
 
 oy. 
 
 21. 
 
 80. 
 
 84. 
 38. 
 
 74. 
 46. 
 
 93, 
 
 29. 
 
 97. 
 
 137. 
 
 143. 
 
 99. 
 
 85. 
 116. 
 
 M. F. 
 
 Rival Artists, sketch, 1 scene 4 
 
 Rival Teuants, sketch 4 
 
 Rival Barbers' Shops (The). Ethio- 
 
 piau larce, 1 sceue 6 1 
 
 Sam's Couiishii), farce, 1 act 2 1 
 
 Sausage Makers, sketch, 2 scenes. . 5 1 
 
 Scampiui, pautomime, 2 scenes 3 3 
 
 Scenes ou the Mississippi, sketch, 
 
 2 scenes 6 
 
 Serenade (The), sketch, 2 sceues....' 7 
 
 Siamese Twins, sketch, 2 sceues 5 
 
 Sleep Walker, sketch, 2 sceues 3 
 
 SMppery Day, sketch, 1 sceue 6 1 
 
 Squire lor a Day, sketch 5 1 
 
 Stage-struck Couple, interlude, 1 sc. 2 1 
 
 Stranger, burlesque, 1 scene 1 2 
 
 Streets of New York, sketch, 1 sc. . . G 
 Storming the Fort, sketch, 1 sceue. 5 
 
 Stupid Servant, sketch, 1 scene 2 
 
 Stocks Up I Stocks Down ! Negro 
 
 duologue, 1 scene 2 
 
 Take It. Don't Take It, sketch, 1 bc. 2 
 
 Them Papers, sketch, 1 sceue 3 
 
 Three Chiefs (The), sketch, 1 sceue. 6 
 
 Three A. M., sketch. 2 sceues 3 1 
 
 Three Strings to oue Bow, sketch, 
 
 1 scene ... 4 1 
 
 Ticket Taker, Ethi'n farce, 1 scene. 3 
 
 Tricks, sketch 5 2 
 
 Two Awfuls (The), sketch, 1 scene.'. 5 
 
 Two Black Roses, sketch 4 ] 
 
 Uncle Eph's Dream, sketch, 2 sc. .. 3 1 
 Unlimited Cheek, sketch, 1 scene.. 4 1 
 
 Vinegar Bitters, sketch, 1 scene 6 1 
 
 Wake up. William Henry^ sketch. . , 3 
 Wanted, a Nur.se. sketch, 1 scene... 4 
 Westou, the Walkist, Dutch sketch, 
 
 1 scene 7 1 
 
 What shall I Take? sketch, 1 scene. 7 1 
 Who Died First ? sketch, 1 sceue. . . 3 1 
 
 Who's the Actor? farce, 1 scene i 
 
 Whose Baby is it ? Ethiopian sketch, 
 
 1 scene . 2 1 
 
 Wonderful Telephone (The), Ethio- 
 pian sketch, 1 scene 4 1 
 
 Wrong Woman iu the Right Place, 
 
 •sketch. 2 scenes 2 2 
 
 Young Scamp, sketch, 1 scene 3 
 
 Zacharias' Funeral, farce, 1 scene.. 5 
 
 ,-|^~;;^ A COMPLETE DESCRIPTIVE CATALOGUE OF DE Vv^ITT'S ACT- 
 ^RJS^ING PLAYS AND DE WITT'S ETHIOPIAN AND COMIC DRAMAS, 
 containing Plot, Costume, Scenery. Time of Representation, and all other informa- 
 tion, mailed free and post paid on application. Address 
 
 DE WITT, Publisher, 
 
 S3 Kose Street, New York. 
 
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 
 
 iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiniii 
 
 HOW TO MAHA&E 
 AMATETJE THEATEICALa 
 
 Being plain instructions for construction and arranji-ement of Stage, 
 making Scenery, getting up Costumes, '''Making 6};" to represent 
 different ages and characters, and how to produce stage Illusions and 
 Effects. Also hints for the management of Amateur Dramatic Clubs, 
 and a list of pieces suitable for Drawing Room Performances. Hand- 
 somely illustrated with Colored Plates. 
 
 Price, 25 Cents. 
 
 DE WITT'S SELECTIONS 
 
 FOR 
 
 AMATEM AND PARLOR THEATRICALS. 
 
 Nos. 1, 2, 3, 4 & 5, 
 
 Being choice selections from the very best Dramas, Comedies and 
 Farces. Specially adapted for presentation by Amateurs, and for 
 Parlor and Drawing Room Entertainments. 
 
 Each number, 25 Cents, 
 
 PANTOMIME PLAY , 
 
 ''HUMPTY DUMPTY." 
 
 The celebrated Pantomime, as originally played for 1,000 nights by the 
 late George L. Pox. Arranged by John Denier, Esq. Eight male, 
 four female characters. 
 
 Price, 25 Cents,