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 At Windsor -Low Tide 
 
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 ^v 
 
 V, 
 
Folks Next Door 
 
 THE 
 
 LOG BOOK OF A RAMBLER 
 
 ^ BY 
 
 W! AtT:ROFFUT 
 
 Author of History of Connecticut ; The Prophecy ; A Midsummer Lark ; A 
 
 Helping Hand; Bourbon Ballads ; Deseret ; The Vanderbilts ; The 
 
 Open Gate of Dreamland; St, Peter's Mistake, Etc. 
 
 ILLUSTRATED 
 
 THIRD EDITION 
 
 THE EASTSIDE PUBLISHING COMPANY 
 
 WASHINGTON, D. C. 
 

 FROM THE PRESS OF 
 
 THE HENRY E. WILKENS PRINTING CO. 
 
 WASHI^TjW, D. C. 
 
 Author 
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TABLE OF CONTENTS 
 
 PAGE. 
 
 A "RAMBLE ALONG NEW ENGLAND'S COAST. 
 
 A YACHT CRUISE IN JUEY. — "SHALL WE HAVE TO BILE UP?"— 
 
 ON Garfield's pleasure steamer. — through hell-gate. — 
 
 AT the PIAISfO — turning IN - I 
 
 THE FIRST WEEK OUT. 
 
 NEWPORT. — SAIL AND STEAM YACHTS. — ^THE DOCTOR. — WHAT A 
 CUNNER LOOKS LIKE. — QUEER BURDEN ON A HOOK. — THE 
 devil's APRON. — HOW A ELOUNDER'S EYES TRAVEL. — MARVELS 
 OF THE SEA - , 6 
 
 FISHING FOR COD. 
 
 AND FINDING GREWSOME THINGS. — DO FISH FLY A FLAG ?^A 
 SALINE JAIL-DELIVERY. — SETTING THE BUNTING IN THE 
 MORNING. — READING THE SIGNALS. — BILLY CLARK AXD HIS 
 NANTUCKET 13 
 
 AROUND CAPE COD. 
 
 WAITING FOR BREAKFAST. — A MISERABLE AND DESPERATE COW. — 
 THE BEAUTIES OF THE SQUID. — SEA-ROBINS AND HOW THEY 
 SING. — ^MARBLEHEAD. — BURIED TO STAY PUT 20 
 
 OFF THE COAST OF ^lAINE. 
 
 TWO RIGHT WHALES. — THEY ARE PLAYFUL AND COMPANIONABLE. 
 — EFFECT OF MARINE FOOD. — WHAT BECAME OF THE GOOD 
 RESOLUTIONS TO STUDY. — HARVESTING A TRAWL. — QUEER 
 DENIZENS OF THE DEEP 2~ 
 
 HUNTING A SWORDFISII. 
 
 HOW THEY GO AFTER "THE SOLDIER OF THE SE.\." — "THIS IS 
 GLORIOUS." — THE SLOOP BOWLS AHE.M) — M .\ N 0.\ THK !!OW- 
 SI'RIT. — "bring a BUCKET, PETE." — COXCKKNMXG CIIAI'IM,- 
 GEAU 34 
 
 AMONG THE QUODDY ISLANDS. 
 
 " WHERE THE SUN RISES." — FlKIiS .\NM) STK AWr.KKKI KS IX AIT.UST. 
 
 — CAMPOBELLO. WILLI.VM I'lTZ Wll.l.l.V.M. Till-: APMIKAL. — 
 
 GEN. LIXCOLN .\XII I'.KXEDICT .\KX01.|). — MVl'IIS, l.HGEX'DS 
 AXD S.VKDIXKS 39 
 
TABLE OF CONTENTS. 
 
 WONDERFUL FISHING. 
 
 FISH BIGGER THAN THEIR CAPTORS. — SOME NEOPHYTES GO A- 
 FISHING. — AND GET NUMEROUS BITES AND SOME FISH. — 
 "WHAEE TO PORT." — DEMAND FOR A SEA-SERPENT. — THE 
 ROOST OF MOTHER CAREy's CHICKENS. — GRANDEUR OF GRAND 
 
 manan 44 
 
 AMONG THE BLUE NOSES. 
 
 AROUND THE BAY OF FUNDY. — ST. JOHn'S TURBULENT HARBOR. — ■ 
 STEAMER GOES UP OVER AN EIGHTEEN-FOOT FALE. — SPECTACLE 
 OF ENORMOUS TIDES. — A THRASHER, THE FOE OF THE WHALE. 
 — TIDE RISES TWO INCHES A MINUTE. — IS THERE A " BORE " ? 51 
 
 THE HOME OF EVANGELINE. 
 
 THE FALCON ON THE AVON. — WHY LONGFELLOW DID NOT VISIT 
 HERE. — SOME VALUABLE POETICAL SUGGESTIONS. — -"GRAND 
 PREE ! GRAND FREE ! " — CHARACTER OF THE ACADIANS. — 
 VISIT TO "BASIL THE BLACKSMITH'S." — OFF TO CANADA. ... 5/ 
 
 OFF FOR NEWFOUNDLAND. 
 
 GENESIS OF NOVA SCOTIA. — A CHILD OF NEW ENGLAND. — THE 
 YANKEE FARMERS. — WHERE CAN SAM BE? — THE CRY OF 
 AJAX FROM A STATEROOM. — SIZE OF NEWFOUNDLAND 66 
 
 NEWFOUNDLAND 4^ND LABRADOR. 
 
 COAST AND INTERIOR. — ST. JOHn's CITY AND HARBOR. — THE FISH- 
 ING FRENZY. — ROBBING THE ICEBERGS. — LONELINESS OF 
 LABRADOR 70 
 
 QUEBEC AND MONTREAL. 
 
 UP THE SAGUENAY'. — A TREMENDOUS CHASM. — CURIOUS OLD 
 QUEBEC. — A CITY' OF THE MIDDLE AGES. — SURROUNDINGS OF 
 MONTREAL. — THE ST. REGIS BELL. — FISH AGAIN 75 
 
 A PREMIUM FOR CHILDREN. 
 
 THE POLICY OF LOUIS XIV. — " GET A SUPPLY OF PEOPLE ! " — SHIP- 
 LOADS OF WIVES SENT FROM EUROPE. — ^,A MIXED ASSORTMENT. 
 — EMBARRASSING TO MOTHER MARY. — A PRIZE OF $6 A YEAR 
 FOR INFANTS 8l 
 
 LAST DAYS IN CANADA. 
 
 JO BEEF AND HIS BENEVOLENT MISSION. — A UNIQUE ESTABLISH- 
 MENT. — PHYSICAL AND SPIRITUAL COMFORT. — SIR PETER 
 MITCHELL AND THE PREMIER. — HOW THE WIDOW MURPHY's 
 COW GOT PAID FOR. — HOMEWARD BOUND 86 
 
TABLE OF CONTEXTS. 
 
 FOLKS IN MID-OCEAN. 
 
 INCIDENTS OF A VOYAGE TO THE " VEXED BERMOOTHES." — THE 
 ISLANDS OF THE ATLANTIC^ V^'HERE PEOPLE GO TO GET WARM 
 WEATHER IN WINTER. — ROUGH EXPERIENCES AT SEA. — THE 
 ISLANDS AND THEIR INHABITANTS. — EFFECTS OF A TROPICAL 
 CLIMATE. — CHARACTERISTICS OF THE PEOPLE. — AX INCIDENT 
 
 OF OUR REVOLUTION. PECULIARITIES OF BERMUDA AS A 
 
 HEALTH RESORT. — BERMUDA OFFICIALS. — A LITTLE CORAL 
 WORLD OF MAGNIFICENT PRETENSIONS 94 
 
 CUBA, THE ISLAND REPUBLIC. 
 
 PINK PIGS IN THE BLUE SEA. — BIRDS OF ZIGZAG FLIGHT. — STRIK- 
 ING FIRE AS THEY GO. — A TORCHLIGHT PROCESSIOX. — THE 
 GATEWAY OF THE ANTILLES II4 
 
 THE CAPITAL OF CUBA. 
 
 INTO THE HARBOR OF HAVANA. — BARCALIERS. — POLYGLOTS IN 
 POLYCROME. — THE VOLANTE. — STREET SCENES AND SOUNDS.— 
 HARD LINES AT THE HOTEL. — ■" USTED ! USTED ! " — AMERICA 
 EVERYWHERE IN EVIDENCE. — TFIE MUCH-NAMED ISLAND.... I18 
 
 GLIMPSES OF RURAL CUBA. 
 
 ITS ABSORPTION OF RAIN WATER. — VEGETATION BY THE W.WSIDE. 
 — TO MATANZAS NOTWITHSTANDING. — A SUGAR PLANTA- 
 TION. — AN EXAMPLE OF SPANISH COURTESY. — SIXTEEX"" 
 HOURS A DAY. — RELIGION AT A DISCOUNT 125 
 
 A BIT OF YUCATAN. 
 
 OFF A STRANGE AND DESOLATE COAST. — NEW ST.\RS. — HOME OF 
 THE ANCIENT TOLTECS. — THE TEMPLES OF TULOOM. — THE 
 INGENIOUS BUILDERS. — WHERE CORTEZ FIRST LANDED. — 
 SIXTY-TWO RUINED CITIES. — THE LOST METROPOLIS. — CHANCE 
 FOR YOUNG EXPLORERS 133 
 
 THE SE.VPORT AND THE C.\PIT.\L. 
 
 .\ I'.VrSI'. AT I'UOCRKSI). — .\ KIDE UP TO MERIDA. — ITS HOTEL. — THE 
 .\CTIVE AND THRIFTY YUCATECAN. — THE .MARKET. — THE 
 CIl.AM KI.F.ON. — THE OMNIPRESENT H.VMMOCK. — A " C.WERX 
 BATH " 139 
 
 GOOD-m'E TO YUCAT.W. 
 
 \\1Ii;rE OUR SUMMER BIRDS TAKE REFUGE. — THE HOME OF HEMP. 
 —THE BAG-MAKING HONEY BEE. — "' WANOS IHAs!" — .\ MIS- 
 TAKE IN THE MAN. — I.l-NCHIXG WITH VICATECAXS. — " DE 
 
 SEA BLUUHER." — i/env(ii 145 
 
TABLE OF CONTENTS. 
 
 ZIGZAGS TN MEXICO. 
 
 WHAT VERA CRUZ LOOKS LIKE. — GOING ASHORE. — A BIRD SACRED 
 TO UTILITY. — CLIMBING THE MOUNTAIN TO THE CAPITAL. — 
 NATIVES. — FLORAL LUXURIANCE. — THROUGH THREE ZONES. — 
 ORCHIDS AND EVERGREENS 155 
 
 A GLIMPSE AT THE CAPITAL. 
 
 ON A MOUNTAIN TOP. — CONDITION OE THE CITY. — A HEAVENLY 
 CLIMATE.— NO CELLARS. — NO DRAINAGE. — FEVERS AND DEATH 
 IN SUMMER TIME. — THE GREAT NEED OF MEXICO 161 
 
 THE STREETS AND HOMES. 
 
 NAMES OF STREETS. — HOW THE HOUSES LOOK. — NO CHIMNEYS. 
 — THIRD FLOOR ARISTOCRACY. — SEEN FROM THE BALCONY. — ■ 
 BARGAINS IN THE PATIO. — AIDS TO DIVINE WORSHIP. — -WATER 
 FOR DOGS. — CALL ON MRS. SANTA ANNA 165 
 
 FOOD AND DRINK. 
 
 FRUITS, VEGETABLES, GRAIN. — HOW DO THE MEXICANS LIVE? — ■ 
 THEY EAT QUEER THINGS. — FLIEs' EGGS. — THE CACTUS. — THE 
 VIRTUES OF THE PULQUE COW 173 
 
 THE FLOATING GARDENS. 
 
 THE ZOCHIMILCO CANAL. — IN THE SUBURBS. — THE GARDENS HAVE 
 MOSTLY COME TO ANCHOR. — AFLOAT ON A BARGE. — FLOWERS 
 GALORE. — LIKEWISE ODORS. — AN INHERITANCE FROM THE 
 AZTECS 182 
 
 MANNERS AND CUSTOMS. 
 
 COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE. — WIVES AT TWELVE AND FOURTEEN. — 
 OLD MAIDS AT SIXTEEN. — MARRIAGE OFTEN AN UNATTAIN- 
 ABLE LUXURY. — BALCONY COURTSHIPS. — THE MEXICAN DUDE. 
 — HIS COSTUME AND HABITS. — HOW THE GIRL IS BARGAINED 
 OFF. — ■"' HOW PRETTY SHE IS ! " — THE CR.XCK UNDER THE 
 DOOR 187 
 
 THE LAST OF EARTH. 
 
 FUNERALS ON STREET CARS. — THE UNDERTAKING OF THE UNDER- 
 TAKER. — ON A RUN. — HIRED COFFINS. — THE JOLLY SEXTONS. 
 — WAITING AT " THE GLORY OF THE WORLD " ig5 
 
 HABITS AND MORALS. 
 
 MIXING OF RACES. — UNIVERSAL POLITENESS. — " PASSE USTED." — 
 JEALOUSY OF AMERICANS. — CRUELTY OF THE WHITES. — 
 LAZINESS FASHIONABLE. DO WE WANT MEXICO? — SCHOOLS. IQQ 
 
TABLE OF CONTEXTS. 
 
 INFLUENCE OF THE SPANL\RDS. 
 
 ■MEXICO WHEN CORTEZ LANDED. — WHAT THE CONQUERORS 
 BROUGHT. — THE SWORD AND THE CROSS AND THE RACK. — 
 NATIVES REDUCED EROM THIRTY MILLIONS TO SEVEN MIL- 
 LIONS. — CRIPPLES. — SLAVERY ESTABLISHED BY THE CHURCH. 
 — IT OWNED A THIRD OF ALL THE PROPERTY 204 
 
 REGENERATED MEXICO. 
 
 THE WORK OF JUAREZ. — A STARTLING TRANSFORMATION. — 
 CHURCH PROPERTY CONFISCATED TO THE STATE. — A NATIVE 
 INDIAN DISPOSSESSES THE RELIGION IMPOSED UPON HIS AN- 
 CESTORS. — SERVICES BY PERMISSION OF THE STATE 211 
 
 THE PEONS. 
 
 THE NATIVE WORKERS. — THEIR EFFICIENCY AS PORTERS. — THE 
 DONKEY. — THE ADVENT OF THE YANKEE. — DRESS OF THE 
 PEASANTRr. — STARTLING CONTRASTS. INDUSTRIAL PARA- 
 DOXES. — RAILROADS. — SIGNS OF PROGRESS 219 
 
 OVER THE ANDES. 
 
 .V TRIP DOWN THE PACIFIC SLOPE. — A NARROW-GAUGE RAlLRO.\D. — 
 SPARSE POPULATION. — VAST CATHEDRALS> — HOMES OF THE 
 PEONS. — THE CLIMB TO CIMA. — DROVES OF PORTERS AND 
 DONKEYS. — INERTIA. — RELIGION AT MORELIA. — CURIOSITY OF 
 THE PEONS. — THE DEIFIED LOCOMOTIVE 228 
 
 AMONG THE TOLTEC RUIXS. 
 
 TKll' TO S.\N JUAN. — WITH THE ASSISTANCE OF THREE SMALL 
 a(l^■S. — LITTLE STONE GODS TOO NUMEROUS TO MENTION. — 
 OBSIDIAN KNIVES. — NO TWO IMAGES ALIKE. — A GRANITE GOD 
 TEN FEET HIGH. — .\X IXHI.VX'S DWELLING. OUR COM- 
 PANIONS AT LUNCH 236 
 
 TM1<: LAND 15.\R(^XS OF MEXICO. 
 
 \u'..\\. i-:sT.\Ti: .M()N()i'()i.izi':ii i;\ a ii:w. — immkxsi-: i.axh TursTs. 
 
 — .\ I'ANM I,.\UGER TH.\X .M .\SSACH USETTS. — HOW HACIEN- 
 DADdS KEKI' PEONS IN BONDAGE. — NEED OF EXTEKI'KISE. — IN- 
 IH:STK1.\1, OI'I'OKTUNITIES.-HKIVE WEI.I.S 243 
 
 ORU^IX OF THE MICXICAXS. 
 
 BEI'OKK COI.U.MIU'S .\xn I.ICM' ERICSSON. — KDKX .\1' Till-; XOKIII 
 POLE. — DISCOVERIES BY .\CCII)ENT. — THE VOV.\C.E oF IIWUI 
 SHAN. — THE EMI'EKOU OF CUIX.\ HEARS HIS STORY. — KING 
 ASOKA SENDS MISSIONARIES TO FU SAXG. — CURIOUS CO- 
 
 ixtinENCES 250 
 
TABLE OF CONTENTS. 
 
 COMING TO THE FRONT. 
 
 SCHOOLS SUPERSEDING CONVENTS. — WORK SUPERSEDING WORSHIP. > 
 
 INDIANS HUMANELY CARED FOR. THREE ENEMIES OE 
 
 PRESENT PROGRESS. — THE BACKWARD-LOOKERS. — THE HACIEN- 
 DADOS AND THE RAILROADS. — FUTURE REVOLUTIONS IMPOSSI- 
 BLE. — VALUE OF CROPS NOW GROWN IN MEXICO 255 
 
 MEXICANS AS REPUBLIC MAKERS. 
 
 LOOKING NORTH FOR AN EXAMPLE. — A LIBERAL CONSTITUTION. — • 
 VOTERS AND VOTING. — PEACE AND ORDER FOLLOW TURBLILENCE. 
 — WHAT SORT OF MAN IS DIAZ? — AN IMPORTANT REVOLU- 
 TION. — NO LONGER A PARIAH AMONG THE NATIONS 261 
 
 PANAMA. 
 
 HEAT. — YELLOW FEVER. — SCORPIONS. — TARANTULAS. — RAIN. — THE 
 devil's PARADISE. — SIR HENRY MORGAN. — ■ THE DARIEN 
 SCHEME. — CHAGRES FEVER. — THE BERI-BERT. — THE PARIS 
 SWINDLE. — BRIBERY. — DEATH. — ANOTHER ACT OF THE 
 TRAGEDY. — SCAVENGERS. — A FOOT OF RAIN A DAY. — ROOSE- 
 VELT's way. — THE TREATY. — THE BULLYING AND PLUNDER 
 OF COLOMBIA 268 
 
 THE SECRET OF PERENNIAL YOUTH 295 
 
 SOME RECENT POEMS 321 
 
ILLUSTRATIONS. 
 
 PAGE. 
 
 •J Our Yacht at Low Tide ; Frontispiece 
 
 ■J Under Brooklyn Bridge ^ 
 
 J Unloading a Lobster Pot 14 
 
 ■i At Nantucket ig 
 
 ' The Fisihing Fleet 26 
 
 4 Baiting a Trawl 30 
 
 i An Hour's Catch With Hook .' 46 
 
 , Codtish Drying 70 
 
 ■J Quebec, from the South Bank 74 
 
 \1 Montreal 80 
 
 [ Lilies — Bermutdia 98 
 
 ,_ A Bit of Surf 117 
 
 -1 Morro Castle 122 
 
 ' " Bietf Not Fool Wid Dat Fella ! " 152 
 
 . Organ Cactus t6o 
 
 A Tolerable Load 172 
 
 ?^laking Bread 172 
 
 Grinding Corn in iMexico 172 
 
 :\lilking the Maguey i8o- 
 
 Tlie " Floating Gardens " 186 
 
 Going to Market 186 
 
 ! The Mexican Restaurant 240 
 
 , Funeral Caravan 24S 
 
 : Flower Girl 248 
 
 " Charcoal ! " 248 
 
FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 FOLKS TOWARDS SUNRISE. 
 
 A Ex4MBLE x\LONG XEW ENGLAND'S COAST. 
 
 iC 
 
 A YACHT CRUISE IX JULY. SHALL WE HAVE TO BILE 
 
 UP ? " — OX GARFIELD'S PLEASURE STEAMER — THROUGII 
 HELL-GATE. — AT THE PIANO. — TURNING IN. 
 
 " You'd better change your mind and conic witli us." 
 
 That's what my friend, the Commodore of the yacht 
 Falcon, said to me. I liad reluctantly expressed great re- 
 gret at not being al)le to accept his invitation to take a 
 cruise through July and August with him on his pleasure 
 yacht — with him and a family party. It seemed to me not 
 easy to get completely away from business so long. 
 
 " You'd better come."' he insisted : " in a week it'll be 
 hot enough here to roast chestnuts on the pavement or 
 fry eggs in your hat. Come up to the Maritime Provinces 
 and cool off. What sort of a personal decoration do you 
 call that ? " and he laid a familiar finger on my collar that 
 had melted and was running down o\cr my wilted necktie. 
 
 I asked how far he was going. "To Maine." he said. 
 " touching at all interesting points on the way — may 1)6 
 farther yet. to Xova Scotia and the St. Lawrence and 
 Saguenay to Quebec." 
 
 ^ 1 ' 1 
 
FOLKS NEXT DOOR 
 
 The invitation took my fancy strongly. I may never 
 have such a chance again, I said to myself. And the hos- 
 pitable Commodore, seated at his desk, whistled '' The sea I 
 the sea I the open sea ! " His coat was off, and he turned 
 toward the window and looked down the bay — a far-off, 
 penetrating look, as if he were gazing a hundred miles. 
 Then he rose and walked to the thermometer hanging in 
 the shade of the cashier's desk, and said : " H — m ! 95 deg. 
 right here in the office ! Isn't this an oven to get out of? " 
 I acquiesced, and went home to think it over. The scheme 
 was fascinating. A yacht cruise is always delightful, 
 and olf the coast of upper Xew England and in the Gulf 
 of St. Lawrence, niust be a glorious luxury. I lay awake 
 half the night thinking al)out it. and then telegraphed 
 111" 111 : " Count me in. I will be on hand on the 3d." 
 
 The preparations were simple. If we were to go on a 
 sailing vessel, we should need to provide against rough 
 weather — tarpaulin hat, india-rubber boots, oil overalls 
 and a potato sack full of very old clothes, in which we 
 could appear on deck as marine tatterdemalions. And 
 then, too, not knowing exactly how often we should touch 
 land, we should have to take provisions for a voyage — salt 
 pol'k and hardtack, canned goods and a medicine chest. 
 But we were not going on such a craft by a good deal; we 
 were going on a steam yaclit. i)roliably the UK^st com- 
 modious and luxurious vessel in tlu^ Xew York yacht club. 
 The (V)innio(lore had wi'itten to me in reply to questions: 
 
 ■■ Wo shall ]\-<\\v no itiut'rary of the cruise, shall be 
 bound by no linic-lable. We have all the time there is and 
 all the space we nocil, and shall go whi'i'c and wlirn we 
 please. Tl)ere will be onl\' one ebjeet bi ibe trip — 1o suit 
 oursebcs and liaxc a good time. As I'or elotbes. eoine as 
 voii ai'e. iiring an e\ti'a suit if you wi^b, an ovt'rcoat any- 
 how, and a elaw-bannner eoat i I' yon want to go to hojis 
 along shore. Xothing else but your tootli-Iuaish. and a 
 razor if you wanl one. for there's no barber aboard." 
 
 To my (pu'stion "^^ shall we have l(^ liile u]) eveiw day?" 
 
ALOXG XEW ENGLAND'S COAST. 
 
 he merely answered with dignity, that meals would he 
 furnished on board. He misunderstood my simple query, 
 which was to ask in the vernacular of the woods, if there 
 was a diurnal necessity for assuming the laundried article 
 of apparel known as the white shirt with its starched ac- 
 cessories. I took my chances and carried some. 
 
 On the eve of July 3 I went down and crossed Wall 
 street ferry to Brooklyn, encumbered only with a hand-bag, 
 for my hamper of clothes had gone the night before. The 
 Falcon was already at her moorings at the end of the large 
 ])ier. down a narrow lane among piled molasses hogs- 
 heads. On the heights that overlook the river defile the 
 mansions of retired merchants, and from the rear windows 
 of the Commodore's house some ecstatic person, left behind, 
 was waving a flag of greeting to the yacht, which, gay with 
 flags and streamers, was puffing and eager to go. There 
 were ten of us in the party, including a professor of natural 
 history from Union College, who, I had heard, enjoyed 
 a personal acquaintance with most of the fish of the North 
 Atlantic. 
 
 The Falcon is a pretty sight straining her hawser at the 
 end of the pier, her nose up the river, and pensively puffing 
 as if in thought of getting away from the everlasting 
 racket of the morrow. She was built for President Garfield 
 in Washington, owned in part by him, and used by him 
 in trips down the Potomac when he sought to escape from 
 the clamor of office-seekers during the early weeks of his 
 administration. She is quite fit for a president or a king, 
 or the ample American sovereign who owns her and can 
 afford to own her. She is 110 feet long, 16 feet wide, and 
 draws 8 feet of water. Her parlor, dining-room, kitchen 
 and staterooms (five) are all above deck, and very high 
 and airy. The parlor and dining-room. aft. are finished 
 in hard woods, subjected to highest polish, and furnished 
 luxuriously in gold and crimson. These rooms are floored 
 with velvet carpets and the halls and staterooms with tes- 
 selated marble and tiles, warmed here and there by a rug. 
 
FOLKS XEXT DOOR. 
 
 The round table under the chandelier draws itself out 
 three times a da_y and seats ten persons comfortably. In 
 the spaces below deck are the staterooms of the officers and 
 crew, the storerooms, and the boilers and machinery. Over 
 all is the hurricane deck, stretching almost from prow to 
 stern, and covered with ample awnings. This is obviously 
 the loafing-place, and the canvas lounges and long steamer- 
 chairs grotesquely drawing up their knees grasshopper like, 
 and drowsily straightening out their backs in the attitude 
 of rest, are wonderfully suggestive of afternoon repose 
 and siestas to come. It seems as if one really could stand 
 a month of it. 
 
 At last all the members of the party, having filed 
 through Molasses Alley, are present and aboard ; boxes and 
 hampers are piled up here and there ready to be unpacked ; 
 the lines are cast oif, and the Falcon, with a dozen turns 
 of the screw, moves away from the pier, Avhen one of the 
 crew wheels around the brass cannon on the l)ow and the 
 commodore fires a thundering salute — a noisy P. P. C. to 
 the hot city left behind. We swarm upon the upper deck 
 as the Falcon steams under the big bridge, rounds Cor- 
 ker's Hook, and, in the wake of a Fall River steamer, 
 stretches her neck toward Blackwell's Island with its acres 
 of grated windows. It is an animated scene. Ferry-boats 
 dash to and fro across the river. A sloop tacks lazily in 
 our path, a man in l)rickdust garments leaning on the 
 helm. A tow of l)arges comes down from the Sound 
 freighted witli I know not what, Imt urged onward by a 
 midget of a tug tliat wheezes and ])uslies and makes its 
 wa}'', like those Brazilian anls that carry burdens a hun- 
 dred times their size. We loolc up but can sih^ scarcely any- 
 iliing on Ibe gigantic suspension bi'iilgei pt'(lestrians. car- 
 riages, trucks and slreet cars are there, but they are hid- 
 den within its elaborate mesh of girders and cables, so 
 closely woven about tbat the roofs far beneath them arc 
 scarcely visible from their windows. 
 
 The shadows deepen behind us, after we pass through 
 
ALOXCI NEW ENGLAXD'S COAST. 5 
 
 Hell Gate. Above the setting sun the sk_y turns to amber; 
 amid the greenness arise the phantom towers of Ward's 
 Island; behind, the river vanishes in the twilight, and 
 ahead of ns the horizon is wiped out and our little vessel 
 seems sailing up the s.kj. A melody floats from the cal)in ; 
 two of the ladies are already at the piano singing one of 
 the familiar but ever-delightful airs from " The Beggar's 
 Opera." So, in one of the most beautiful of midsummer 
 nights, we go out into the silence of the Sound, where, 
 after an hour or two, we make a quiet cove near Greenwich, 
 drop anchor, haul a lantern up the mast, and turn in. 
 Y^ou never go to bed at sea; you turn in. You do not get 
 up ; you turn out. And you soon come to say, with more or 
 less grace, fore and aft, Ijow and stern, starboard and 
 port. Perhaps, in time, we shall come to banish all ideas 
 depending on the clock market, and boldly ask how many 
 bells it is. To-night Ave sleep the sleep of the innocent and 
 the immaculate. No dust; no Hunter's Point smells; no 
 heat ; no mosquitoes ; no flies ; no sound but the rumljle of 
 the distant locomotive, the bells marking time each half 
 hour, and the soothing swish-swash of ripples breaking 
 against the guards. 
 
FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 THE FIRST WEEK OUT. 
 
 XEAVPORT. SAIL AyO STEA:M yachts. THE DOCTOR. — 
 
 WHAT A CUXNEK LOOKS LIKE. QUEER BURDEX OK A 
 
 liOOK. THE devil's APRON. HOW A FLOUISTDER's EYES 
 
 TRAVEL. MARVELS OF THE SEA. 
 
 A WEEK passes away while we linger in the sheltered 
 coves of Long Island and creep around the breezy southern 
 shore of Xew England. Newport seems to me an ideal 
 watering place. It has every favorable feature which a 
 favorite summer resort can have. It is on an island 
 stretching its rough tongue into the sea, washed by all the 
 tides and blown over by all the winds of heaven ; it has 
 good Avater, a well-stocked market, and as fine surf bath- 
 ing as our coast afi:'ords. Its better part is embowered in 
 trees. Its hundred raml)ling cottages, amid green and 
 Avide-spreading laAvns. each Avearing a Joseph's variegated 
 coat and decked in holida}^ bravery of flags, hammocks 
 ajid tents, lend it uncommon picturesrjueness ; Avhile the 
 ocean, pitching its foam aloft from all the rocks along 
 the sul)url)an l^each, gives a sense of coolness and rest to 
 tlie most fatigued Avanderer. 
 
 Tliere Avere ten or a dozen handsome sailing yachts in 
 the harbor of Newport. These winged A-ehicles are lovely 
 to look upon Avhen under full sail,- but they. are almost 
 alAvays becalmed and impatiently Avaiting for Avind to blow 
 them somcAAdiere. The owner of a sailing yacht never 
 knoAvs AAdiere he can go or hoAv long he Avill stay in a par- 
 ticular harbor ; but Avith our Commodore, inclination is 
 decision and decision execution. " If it doesn't storm too 
 
THE FIRST WEEK OUT. 
 
 hard we will go fishing to-morrow," he said, Friday even- 
 ing. " We can get cod or haddock, shark or swordfish off 
 Block Island." 
 
 It did not storm, and we started early. The doctor was 
 radiant. Fie had brought an elaborate supply of private 
 fishing tackle, and had been all this time waiting for what 
 he called " a good chance at 'em." He had been quite 
 industrious, and had already caught some scores of porgies 
 oft' the stern of the Falcon while coming down Long Island 
 Sound, and he had even captured a little cunner while we 
 lay at anchor, but this did not satisfy his ambitious soul. 
 When we had actually steamed up and started out after 
 larger fish, even the red shirt he wore, which was amelior- 
 ated with latticed laces and tassel decorations on account 
 of the ladies, seemed to turn a more joyous red. He set his 
 white canvas cap on one sifle of his head, whistled a lively 
 tune, and went to the bathroom and gave his shoes an 
 extra shine, as if he were about to be ushered into superior 
 society. 
 
 Even the ladies caught some of his enthusiasm prepara- 
 tory to catching fish. They fiew to the locker on the upper 
 deck, supplied themselves with great reels of lines with 
 hooks attached, descended to the l)ow, where tliere was a 
 pail of fresh dams for bait, aud eacb took a clam and f(>ar- 
 lessly stuck the iron barb sli'aiglit thi'ougli that himiMe 
 insect and flung the hooks and sinker in the st'a. " Fm 
 not a bit afraid of clams," said the srhool mistress. " for 
 they don't squirm. I've got a uilibU'I Fve gut a bite! 
 I've got him! " she excbiimcd. Fudev the (.-aiitain's guid- 
 ance she gave a sudden twilt-li t<i tbe line, thru drew it 
 rapidly in, liand over han(L Tbei'e was a Hop as the bur- 
 den reached the surfacr. and hioking over ihc rail we saw 
 a small section of rainhow hisldng the water with its tail. 
 Il was oidv a cimni'i': hut cunniM's ai'e \ arioii,-l\' colored, 
 and the brighles) specimens are \ci'\- lieanlil'nl. 
 
 Ilis caplor di'ew him on tit'ck : ami. as he in(bdge(l in a 
 little shudder when she tried to unhook him. one of the 
 
FOLKS NEXT DOCK. 
 
 sailors, unemployed at tlic liuir, rushed to her assistance. 
 The fish Avas a handsome fellow, some ten inches long, of 
 a dark orange hue, with head and gills of chocolate color, 
 spotted with light blue. The fins were of a delicate light 
 l)lue, and the back fin was armed with eighteen s})ines as 
 sharp as needles, which he erected savagely or in alarm as 
 he was thrown into a ])ail. Some of the cunners lately 
 caught were of a dark l)rown. with transverse bars of yel- 
 low and blue; and one now and then was iridescent and 
 changealjle, taking on new ])ink and purple hues as he was 
 turned in a new light. The eye of the cunner looks exactly 
 like a variety of Mexican opal that is much prized. He is 
 found all along the coast of the Xorth Atlantic. He is 
 hardy and has an excellent appetite, and he multiplies and 
 inherits the sea. Off Delaware he .still bears the Indian 
 l)aptismal name of " chogset." Hi Xew York he retains 
 the Dutch cognomen of " Ijergall." In Connecticut he is 
 called a " nipi)er."' In Boston he is known as a "• l)lue 
 perch '" — and that is pretty nearly what he is. At Ply- 
 mouth cunners are caught by the bushel in scoo]>nets, and 
 dressed by stripping off the skin entirr^ly. They are good 
 pan fish, quite solid and savory. 
 
 " I've got one," said one of the ladies, '" but he doesn't 
 twitch any." She solemnly pulled him up. ""He" was 
 an enormous weed — brown, tough of fiber, Avith a small 
 stem supporting a leaf ten inches lu'oad, four feet long and 
 a quarter of an inch thick'. It was unyielding as india- 
 rublx'r and aljout the shape of an oar l)lade, excepting that 
 the edge was crimped and wa\y. The doctor removed it 
 carefully from the tangle of h.ook and sinker, and said he 
 wanted to "save it." (Save it! At this rate the Falcon 
 will be loaded down to her fender with saline tropliies 1)e- 
 fore we get to Nova Scotia.) 
 
 "This," he explained with a learned air, "'is the Ln mili- 
 aria saccharina, or ' Devil's apron.' It is commonly called 
 oarweed. It can't eat, but it su])ports itself in this way," 
 he added facetiously, pointing to the base of the stalk. 
 
THE FIEST \VP]EK OUT. 
 
 There was a claw of roots that grasped a cobblestone aljout 
 as big as an egg, and held it immovable as in a vise. 
 
 " This is the anchor that holds it at the bottom," said 
 the doctor. '" And here is something else. Held to the 
 stone by the clasp of the smaller wel) of rootlets, is a lim- 
 pet." He pulled off a bit of root, and gently removed it. 
 It was an ordinary shellfish, with a low convex house on its 
 liack, and its broad, white foot set firmly on the stone. It 
 Avas brown, with Idiie trimmings. There was still some- 
 thing else. A liit of pinkish jelly, al)out as large as a 
 dollar, lay immovalde on the india-rii1)])er paddle. I 
 scraped it off into a bucket of salt water near hy. and it 
 immediately assumed its natural attitude, lying in the 
 water, disc-like, inclined about forty-five degrees to the sur- 
 face, ujid languidly pushing itself ahead by jerks. It was 
 a young specimen of the medusa, of which we had seen 
 hundreds in the harbor of Newport ; and as this singular 
 marine inhal)itant generally reuiains near the surface, it 
 is probable that it adhered to the great weed as it was 
 twitched past him on tlie hook. This sjx'cimen was of 
 cream color, aud as he became accustouied to the bucket, 
 and rct-overcd t-onfideuce. be Ix'gan (|uietly to trail his pink 
 filanicuts and tentacles bcliind liim in a iiluiy V(m1. aud to 
 o])en ]iosi)itably tliat one yawning m-ifice in tlie center 
 Avliicli I l)elieve serves liim as mouth, eyes. ears, nose and 
 sloinneb. 
 
 One of the sailors di'ew in liis line and Hung on deck a 
 liveh- (ish decked in sombre gi'ey. willi sliglit splaslies of 
 color. "A sliad I "" exclaimed one of llie lailies. 
 
 ''No.'" said lite doctor. '• bnt il is his doppelganger. 
 Does anybody know what it is?" 
 
 " It is a ralhacl<."" said tlie skiiipei". 
 
 " \o| exaclly: Ihat's a |iilchei'."" piii in llie ('<Mnniodore. 
 "called an alewil'e in New ^'(n'k."" 
 
 " I always hear il called a hard-head shad, luil it ain't 
 good to eat," spoke n|i his captor. 
 
 " Ain'l u'ood to eat?" aske(l anotlier sailor: "of course 
 
10 FOLKS NEXT l^OOR. 
 
 it's g'ood to eat. It"t> a pookagen; and scores of vessels with 
 cargoes of pookagen sail from Boston and Portland for 
 Europe every fall." 
 
 " It looks like a shad," said the captain, "■ but it isn't. 
 I've always heard it called a scad. It's a nuisance and tlie 
 plentiest fish there is on the Xew England coast." 
 
 Another sailor ventured his opinion that it was a ''horse 
 mackerel. In the West Indies,'' he added, " I know it is 
 called a saviga." 
 
 '• I think I can settle this discussion," interrupted the 
 scribe. " That is a menhaden in Boston, a pogy in I^ew 
 Bedford, a moss-bunker in Maine, and a whitefish in Con- 
 necticut. I have caught seven cartloads of them in one 
 luiul, in Connecticut, on the shore of my native town of 
 Orange." 
 
 " Seven cartloads ! Give him the blue rib))on ! " ex- 
 claimed the Commodore. 
 
 " Wait a minute,'' said the Doctor, with an air of au- 
 thority. '■ I have elected myself umpire to decide all fish 
 controversies. You will be surprised to know that all of 
 you are right in your guesses at this fish's identity. It is 
 actually known in different parts of the coast l.)y all the 
 names you have given it. As to quantity, it is no very 
 uncommon thing to catch ten thousand at a single haul of 
 the seine. Farmers within ten miles of Long Island Sound 
 cart them home in great quantities for manure. In New 
 Bedford they are pressed for oil, and in Boston they are 
 canned for the French market. They are a chief food 
 for the hungry fish along this coast. Doctor Brown Goode 
 estimates that the number of menhaden annually destroved 
 on the Xew England shore by predaceous fish is 'a million 
 million of millions.' Ten million menhaden, or whatever 
 they are locally called, have been caught in one season by 
 one Xew London firm." 
 
 It did not take us as long to examine these creatures as 
 it has taken me to describe them ; Init we are on a six 
 weeks' cruise, and the inland reader mav as well know. 
 
THE FJK8T WEEK OUT. 11 
 
 once for all, how those specimens of marine life look which 
 we shall prohably meet with often. We had now caught a 
 pailful of cunners, three menhaden, and seven fine black- 
 fish. We drew in also a handsome flounder. And, b}' the 
 way, we have been out long enough now to know that there 
 is just as much difference between fish of the same species, 
 as between human beings. Occasionall}^ indeed, an old 
 fisherman will haul up a queer fish and acknowledge that 
 he doesn't know what it is — it is a mongrel — a cross of 
 different species. Take this flounder, for instance. It 
 Avas obviously a flounder, for it was a flat fisli, some ten 
 inches long by five broad, mahogany color on one side and 
 wliite on the other, and both of his eyes were on the brown 
 or upper side, somewliat askew, and looking very groggy, 
 indeed. But his brown side was speckled with light spots 
 of an uncertain color, giving him the appearance of having 
 a bad attack of measles. 
 
 " This flounder, by the way," said the doctor, '• is a cur- 
 ious example of evolution — of organic change following 
 the change of environment. Originally — a thousand or a 
 million years ago — it moved n])right ilirough Ibe water. 
 its broadest dimension being up and down, and its eyes 
 on each side. But it was so thin tliat it maintained that 
 position with dilficulty, being much inclined to topple 
 over to rest. It did topple ovei' to rest, more and ]nore 
 frequently, and the eye that was on thi' under side strained 
 itself to look u]). The side that was on tlie top tlie most 
 Ijegan to be tanned by (he sun. and the lowci' eye kept 
 ])ulling its socket toward the back of the head to look u|) 
 'around the corner," till, in process of timi'. it actually 
 passed thrcnigh the soft bones of the head and botli eyes ap- 
 peared on one sid(> of the bodv — not in the niiildle of the 
 side, but toward tlic uppei' edge. 'I'hc (rmlcnt-y of the left 
 eye to work over to the right side strengthened t-cmstantly, 
 and the o)itical migration became constantly easier, but 
 (be strange ])rocess is still gone through with by earh suc- 
 ceeding genei'ation. When the vounu' llounder is batched 
 
12 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 his eyes are on opposite sides of the head, and his mouth 
 is a narrow and deep slit across below the e^^es, and his 
 two sides are white. Soon after learning to swim he begins 
 to lose his balance, his upper side begins to turn brown, 
 his left eye starts on its queer pilgrimage, and even the 
 mouth, finding a vertical movement of the Jaw inconven- 
 ient, begins to twist awkwardly and set itself slantwise. 
 The uncanny result is a fish that has complicated strabis- 
 mus both in his eyes and mouth — the result of his obe- 
 dience to Edward Everett Hale's aml^itious motto, ' Look 
 up and not down.' " The doctor ex]3lained all of this to us 
 as we stood around him on the forward deck. The old 
 skipper shook his head, and evidently didn't believe the 
 yarn ; but I find that it is confirmed by books on marine 
 life. 
 
 " He has a funny Ijatin name — this species of fiounder 
 has," said the doctor, throwing the specimen into a pail. 
 " Perhajjs he himself doesn't know that he has such a ma- 
 jestic name as Platysomatichihys hippoglossoides." 
 
 '^ Doc — I'll bet that's what you began your interesting 
 lecture for," said one of the boys, " so that you could par- 
 atyze us with his full name." 
 
 " Let's hear you pronounce it," said the Doctor. 
 
 " I pronounce it quite unnecessary," replied the viva- 
 cious youth. 
 
 When we had counted our game, and handed over to 
 the cook four of the tautog, or blackfish, for dinner, the 
 party mostly redistributed themselves — some going to the 
 piano and some to the lounging chairs on the upper deck to 
 resume the novels which the fishing had interrupted. 
 
PLSinXG FOR COD. 13 
 
 FISHIXG FOE COD. 
 
 AND FINDING GREAVSOME THINGS.— DO FISH FLY A FLAG? — 
 A SALINE JAIL-DELIVERY.^ — SETTING THE BUNTING IN 
 
 THE MORNING. READING THE SIGNALS. — BILLY CLARK 
 
 AND HIS NANTUCKET. 
 
 I AVENT with the ladies in one of the gigs, and we spent 
 the afternoon trying to get some codfish. We were in the 
 track of codfisli; hut the Avind Avas hloAving fresli and the 
 sea Avas A'ery lumpy. No land was in sight except the 
 broAvn cliff of Block Island, lifting suddenly aboA^e the 
 Avhite caps five miles to the Avest. The second gig A\'as 
 swung doAvn from the davits and manned by four sailors, 
 Avho brought it alongside of the gangway, Avhere it danced 
 five or six feet up and down like a cork. The ladies had 
 a time of it getting in, but after combined patience, skill 
 and dexterity they were seated, the orders Avere quickly 
 obeyed : " Push off ! " " Toss !'' " Give way ! " and the 
 Falcon Avas left l)ehind. AVe threw out the cod hooks, but 
 got no bites for half an liour. In the meantime the fog 
 had shut close down. 
 
 jSTo land was visible anywhere, and even the pretty Fal- 
 con drifted, a mere spectral yacht, ahuost out of sight. 
 No codfish. T Avas in favor of returning, but the ladies 
 protested that avo must have something to take back Avith 
 us. 
 
 Just then my eye caught siglit of a flag, about as big as 
 my hat, floating above tlie Avaves, at a distance of four or 
 five boat-lcngtlis away. An Anuu'ican flag — and it Avas, 
 apparently, being Avaved by somebody, perhaps a mermaid 
 — for it stood u])right. It Avas several days after the 
 
U FOLKS NEXT DOOJi. 
 
 Fourth ; wh}' should the silent sea be greeted l^y this gol)lin 
 emblem of patriotism? One of the ladies shuddered, and 
 suggested that it must be on the top of the mast of a vessel 
 that had sunk — " perhaps Capt. Kidd's,'' she said, and we 
 lauglied. We rowed to the flag. It was fastened to an 
 empty keg, and thus floated and kept vertical. 
 
 The men could not unravel the mystery, for they had 
 shipped at New York and were unacquainted with these 
 waters. I thought that perhaps here was a case of treas- 
 ure trove, or flotsam and jetsam, or something of that sort, 
 and to settle the question we pulled the keg on board the 
 boat and found that something was anchored to it by a 
 line below. The ladies agreed that if it was a million 
 dollars we would instantly divide it, and go and live honest 
 and luxurious lives in Newport for the remainder of our 
 days. It did not occur to me till afterward that the sailors 
 who had rowed us might not approve of being left out in 
 the cold. We got hold of the line and tugged at it. Ha ! — 
 it yielded. But it was heavy. It might be gold. It oc- 
 curred to me that nobody knows where the money of 
 Captain Kidd, Oom Paul Kruger and the Orleans family 
 is hidden. We hauled it slowly up, fathom after fathom, 
 and peered down into the inky depths to see if we could see 
 anything. 
 
 Beneath old ocean's sunless deep. 
 Where whales disport and dolphins sleep, 
 And ghostly wrecks their vigils keep, 
 
 What was it we had got ? 
 It seemed tlie burden of my sin ; 
 But as I sadly hauled it in 
 
 It proved — a lobster pot ! 
 
 That's what it was. A wooden box rudely nailed to- 
 gether, with a tunnel in either end, enabling these " spiders 
 of the sea " to get in, and preventing their escape. There 
 were six lobsters in the box. We opened it at the sides, 
 carefully lifted them out and transferred them to our 
 boat. For Ave reasoned that thev were badlv crowded, and 
 
FISHING FOR COD. 15 
 
 if we kindl}' took them out, more could get in. Then we 
 wanted lobster. Above all, it was fogg}-, and nobody could 
 see us. The dear, delightful days of my boyhood came 
 thronging back upon my memory, and I am not ashamed 
 to admit that tears gathered in my eyes as I felt once more 
 the thrill of pleasure I experienced when I obtained water- 
 melons from a neighbors patch. We now conscientiously 
 examined the box, and found nine other ropes clinging to 
 it. We pulled them all up, and spent an hour inspecting 
 the nine suspended lobster-pots. They were shamefully 
 neglected, and contained no less than sixty-eight captive 
 lobsters of all sizes. We did not take them all. The so- 
 ciety for the prevention of cruelty to animals, of which I 
 am an earnest member, required that we should release the 
 poor insects and give them the unrestrained freedom of 
 our boats ; but we assumed that the proprietor of the traps 
 would ultimately think of his moral responsibility. Be- 
 sides twenty or thirty were as many as all of the Falcon's 
 passengers and crew could eat. We set the traps again and 
 rowed back, catching four fine cod on the way with a good 
 bait of menhaden — an otherwise worthless fish, step- 
 brother to the shad, and known by a multitude of 
 names. We agreed to tell our companions on the Falcon 
 that the lobsters had climbed into the boat while we were 
 fishing. Just as we were regaining the deck of the yacht 
 the hat of one of the ladies blew off into the water, falling 
 a distance of twenty feet away. The sailors were just back- 
 ing the boat around to get it when a shark came out of 
 the water and seized it, and straw, rose and blue ribbons 
 vanished in a twinkling. It was so surprising and absurd 
 as to cause a general roar of laughter, as the baffled sailors 
 struck savagely at the spot with their oars. 
 
 " Sharks," said the skipper, " will try to eat anything 
 they can get in their mouths. I have saw them take in 
 glass bottles and oyster cans and chew 'em up. The shark 
 is the goat of the sea. I remember down in the Gulf of 
 Mexico they once catched a swelled-up sliark, and, open- 
 
16 FOLKS XEXT BOOK. 
 
 ing him, found two suits of clothes that the sailors had 
 trailed l^ehind the ship to wash 'em. The shark is not 
 such a game fish as he is said to he hy a heajj. But we 
 will go for some shark with a harpoon in a day or two." 
 
 This skipper served as first mate. He was long, limher 
 and lean, and his leathery face was wrinkled as if it had 
 been carved from an old piece of black walnut. His life 
 was spent between the codfishery and the lumlier regions 
 of Maine and his talk was weather-beaten. 
 
 " That reminds me/' said the doctor, " of what I saw 
 last year in the United Service Museum in London. In 
 that queer corner of old AVhitehall, among the souvenirs 
 and curiosities is a great bundle of manuscripts looking 
 like a hornet's nest. A slaver running from a pursuer, 
 had flung the tell-tale parcel overboard on the African 
 coast ; it was found again the same year in a shark cap- 
 tured off Jamaica, carried to England, inspected, taken 
 to court and used as evidence, resulting in the conviction 
 of the slave-trader." 
 
 A listening sailor uttered an iml)ecile grunt of in- 
 credulity, and was reproved by the skipper who added. " It 
 might easily happened. Such things doos."' 
 
 "What an incident for a detective novel!" exclaimed 
 the schoolmistress. 
 
 " Ef you come by them lol)sters onlawfully." added the 
 skipper, " it may go tough with us wen we git ashore — ef 
 anybody tells." 
 
 We assured him that the l)easts. to escape drowning, took 
 the boat l)y storm. 
 
 " We knowed *em to do tliat.'' said the skipper, (h'uiurely. 
 "Lucky they was content to merely board you. Lobsters 
 is savage fighters, and they sometimes seize small craft, 
 in resentfulness. They'll bite a oar right in two."" 
 
 We were all up on deck next morning before the crew 
 set the three flags which the Falcon carries flying all day 
 — the iionnant of i]\c Anu'vicau club on the foremast (a 
 white maltose cross on 1)1 ue triauo-ular field with red bor- 
 
FISHING FOPt COD. 
 
 cler.) the private signal " F " in a rod circle on the main 
 truclc, and from the ftagstatl: astern tlie national yacht en- 
 sign. Besides this bright trio, which are flung out at S 
 o'clock, there are other significant flags for special service. 
 A white flag is set in the main crosstrees when we are at 
 dinner in port, so that visitors will kindl}^ keep away at 
 that solemn time. A blue flag in the same ^Dlace indicates 
 that the Commodore is absent from the yacht. A meal 
 pennant is set at the port fore-crosstrees to show when the 
 sailing master or captain is at dinner. The stars and 
 stripes, union down, is a flag of distress. It may mean 
 sprung a leak, lost rudder, out of coal, water or food — al- 
 most anything of that sort — and a favorable response is 
 not compulsory on any vessel. It is a mere matter of cour- 
 tesy. To call a pilot, the union jack and blue flag are set 
 together on the fore-topmast. To " speak (to) a vessel," 
 an ensign is set in the rigging. Vessels often speak each 
 other to get the news, to send word ashore, to get reckon- 
 ing, etc. Besides these there is a code of nineteen flags, 
 each about three feet square. All of these are conspicu- 
 ously different, and each means a word or sentence — an in- 
 terrogation or answer. Vessels often set them in their 
 rigging to make inquiries or to exchange salutations. A 
 formal salute is given by three toots upon the whistle. 
 These nineteen flags are also employed in holiday demon- 
 strations, and when the skipper ranges them from the top- 
 mast down the halyards, the effect is very pretty indeed. 
 
 Of course we paused at jN'antucket. Everybody does. 
 ISTantucket is in the sere and yellow leaf. Fifty years ago 
 she was young, blooming and buxom — wedded to the sea, 
 like Venice. Her whale ships were on every ocean. She 
 had 200 of them out. She quite looked down on Boston, 
 but took a patronizing interest in New York. Her mer- 
 chants were opulent; her girls received grand offers from 
 " the continent." Suddenly a prospector's harpoon struck 
 oil in Pennsylvania, and Nantucket's sea-spouse deserted 
 and left her a widow. The whale ships came home to rot. 
 
18 FOLKS NEXT BOOK. 
 
 Her population dwindled away. How the survivors lived 
 nobody knew. They lived partly on wrecks of ships that 
 were cast away on their barren and inhospitable beach. 
 There was a wreck every month before the lighthouses 
 were built. Then the town crier went raging through the 
 streets with a bell and a toothorn, joyously proclaiming 
 more good luck, and the citizens rallied and went for the 
 wrecked ship, and dragged it, bit by bit, ashore, and car- 
 ried it oti in triumph to their homes. They also sometimes 
 saved the passengers and crew, incidentally. I don't know 
 whether the yarn is true that our skipper tells, that the citi- 
 zens used to hold a prayer-meeting for thanksgiving when- 
 ever a strange ship was cast ashore with grub aboard, and 
 that they prayed " Give us this day our daily wreck," but it 
 is certain that flotsam and jetsam Avas a welcome support to 
 the good island for years. At last the government inter- 
 fered with this pet industry l)y building lighthouses, and 
 was l)itterly regarded as an enemy to the prosperity of jSTan- 
 tucket. 
 
 Summer boarders were the next recourse, and now they 
 are the chief nourishment. So the island, whose popula- 
 tion had sunk from 15, (XH) to l.oOO. is once more slowly 
 gaining. It is growing in favor. 1 don't know why on 
 cartli it should, I'ov it is a dcsolaU' place. Any cemetery 
 around New York is lixclicr and more t'licerful. There is 
 oidy one amnsenicnt in Xantnckct — only one excitement — 
 Ihat is the ai'ri\al of the daily boat. It is a thrilling event. 
 I)illy Clai-k. Ibc town crier, used to watch from the tall 
 rnilai'ian cbnrcb ( Xantnckct is drcadtully nngodlw l)y th(^ 
 wav — liair the people are I'nitarians ) , and when he spied 
 the lall column of smoke westwai'd he wound his lisli-horn 
 in a slentoi'ian toot, rushed madly up the sti'eet and rang 
 his hell and sci'camed that the boat was in! The veteran 
 whalei's would then enthusiastically stai'l. the \illage resi- 
 dents go on a I'lin, the mei'ehants lock u]i iheii' stmvs and 
 hui'riedlv seek the whaid'. and the summer-hoarders, hat- 
 less and pei'spiring, come hounding down over the grass 
 
FISHING FOE COD. 19 
 
 that grows rank between the cobble-stones, to participate 
 in the onl}^ soul-stirring event of the day. As the local 
 paper says, " From the deck of the l)oat the scene was 
 animated and inspiring beyond description." 
 
20 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 AEOUND CAPE COD. 
 
 AVAITING FOR BREAKFAST. A ^^IISERABLE AND DESPERATE 
 
 COW. THE BEAUTIES OF THE SQUID. SEA-ROBINS AND 
 
 HOW TPIEY SING. MARBLEHEAD. — BURIED TO STAY PUT. 
 
 TiiE Falcon left Nantucket before we were up in the 
 morning and steamed away for Provincetown, around the 
 hooked end of Cape Cod. The weather was so lovely that 
 we were all np early, before the sailors had finished their 
 morning's job of swalil)ing the deck and polishing the brass 
 taffrail that runs around it. They had done the earlier 
 work of washing the whole of the sides of the yacht and 
 rubl)ing with chamois-skin all the windows. We were 
 speeding too fast to fish, though the sea was smooth as 
 glass, so we lay off in our steamer-chairs and wasted time 
 in mere listless enjoyment. Our consciences have now be- 
 come so callous that we can do this sort of thing every day 
 for hours at a time without feeling at all guilty. It is 
 possible that some of us remarked upon the beautiful morn- 
 ing, but it is certain that every one said to every other one, 
 " I am hungry!" This salt air is a tremendous thing for 
 the appetite, especially when you can smell the savory in- 
 cense of fresh cod creep up the companion-way from the 
 kitchen — or, as I ought to say, from the galley. 
 
 Presently we all sprang to onr feet as the bells rang 8 
 o'clock— breakfast time. At the same moment the captain, 
 at the pilot house, gave the M'ord for the three flags to be 
 simultaneously set for the day — an interesting ceremony 
 that always takes place at 8 o'clock each morning and the 
 flags are lowered at sundown. As the signal was i^assed, 
 a sailor at the foot of each of the two masts and one at 
 
AEOUND CAPE COD. 21 
 
 the stern responded. Over the stern was unfurled tlie 
 American flag, with an anchor crossing the field of stars — 
 the general yachting flag. 
 
 As we neared the end of the peninsula we ran the Falcon 
 toward shore, where, halting, we threw over our lines to 
 tempt some of the fish after which the sandy cape is 
 named. The cod loves rather deep water, and he generally 
 keeps close to the bottom. We fished with stout hooks 
 weighted with lead, baited with clams or large winkles, 
 and attached to cords some two or three hundred feet long. 
 Even with Hwe lines out we had only moderate luck, and 
 we shortly pulled them up and steamed away around the 
 cape. An adult cod is a foot and a half or two feet long, 
 of a handsome brown-green tint, and a bar of silver run- 
 ning down' each side like a chalk mark. And he is not the 
 same shape as he is when western people lift him from a 
 barrel. 
 
 Cape Cod stretches around Massachusetts bay like a 
 cat's paw, and Provincetown lies snugly in its claw — an 
 ideal harbor, ])eautifully land-locked. One of the boys 
 went ashore in the gig and got our letters and the day's 
 papers, and we anchored for the night. Provincetown is 
 a row of ancient houses on the beach at the jumping-otf 
 place. Here the Pilgrims landed first, but they climbed on 
 their schooners again as soon as possible, exclaiming: 
 '' Holy Calvin ! If that's the only spot there is, we had 
 better stay adrift forever!" Then they floated over to 
 Plymouth, stuck up an oar in the sand, and cried in devout 
 rapture, "Let us establish religious liberty wlicre all shall 
 be free to worship God just exactly as tliey please, accord- 
 ing to the creed of Congregationalism ! "" Aud it was done. 
 Shrewd and buxom old martyrs those Puritaus wri'c; and, 
 verily, they talked tui'key to themselves every tiuie. 
 
 This harbor is secure and spacious enough to shelter a 
 thousand line-of-1)attle ships. 
 
 We went ashore in the gig to search for souu^ fresh 
 milk. " Hain't uot none." said a vilhmcr ; ^ tlier hain't but 
 
FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 just one cow in town, and she don't git nothin' to eat but 
 fish, poor critter ! " So we liad to put up with the canned 
 article. We compensated ourselves, however, by buying 
 lobsters of a fisherman for three cents apiece. We caught 
 several flounders (''flat fish") in the harbor, which were 
 very tender and sweet ; also some pollock. Fishermen de- 
 spise the pollock as " not fit to eat ; " but taken fresh, it 
 makes a good breakfast. It is a comely and graceful fish. 
 Running down its green sides is a strongly defined line of 
 silver, somewhat like the cod. It sometimes grows the size 
 of twenty or thirty pounds, but those we caught were not 
 one-tenth as large. It is plenty off' the coast of England, 
 where the fishermen call it the cythe, the doctor says. By 
 the way, the doctor is the fountain of most of our technical 
 information. He says the pollock spawns in winter, and 
 that young pollock may be rapidly taken in the spring 
 with an artificial fly — especially with the scarlet ibis. 
 
 Around Provincetown a favorite bait is the squid, an 
 inferior first-cousin to the octopus or devil-fish, with which 
 Victor Hugo's hero, Clubin, had a life-and-death struggle. 
 The squid looks like a pocket-flask, with eight arms com- 
 ing out of the neck of it, and two immense protuberant 
 eyes, that look at you as if they had marked you for their 
 own. Every squid is both father and mother; and he, she 
 or it lays forty thousand eggs at once, leaves them afloat, 
 and then wanders off to find some other paying job. Like 
 the large cuttle-fish, the squid carries a nice little bottle 
 of black indelible ink concealed in his stomach, and when 
 an unsophisticated cabin boy ran to release one that had 
 clasped a fish line and come up on it, it delivered the whole 
 charge into his face with the precision of a skunk. He 
 looked surprised; probably he thought, like Tom Hood, 
 that it was a " new-fangled fire engine." 
 
 The books on octopods allege that " the squid is not 
 eaten in this country," but the captain of the Falcon tells 
 me he has often eaten it ; and, he adds, " The flesh is white, 
 something like tripe, and sweeter and tenderer than any 
 
AROUND CAPE COD. 
 
 fish I ever saw." I remember reading somewhere Iiow 
 much the Eussicins eat squids during the long fasts of the 
 Greelc church, when both meat and fisli are forbidden, the 
 partalvers insisting that the squid is neither fish nor flesh. 
 
 In the morning, before the ladies Avere up, the doctor and 
 I tumbled out and went on deck and threw the lines, hop- 
 ing to stril^e something. He had a Ijite, gave a jerk, and 
 cautiously hauled in. A lut of rainbow flounced up on 
 the top of the water. "' Hang that sea-robin," he ex- 
 claimed. H was new to me, and he held it up for my 
 inspection. Another of those gaudy fishes, an eight-inch 
 fellow with a large head and disproportionately large 
 mouth, amber gills, pectoral fins ranging from brown to 
 red, white belly, and blue sides running up to the purple 
 on the back. He had a savage and pugnacious counte- 
 nance, and looked exactly as if he had just come out of a 
 battle and got the worst of it. He doesn't look as if he 
 would ever he tame enough for the table, so sailors and 
 fishermen always imprecate sea-robins and then throw 
 them overboard. 
 
 Our specimen, I have said, was principally mouth. He 
 may have been end man in some marine minstrel show. 
 For ho not only had the mouth, Imt could sing with it. 
 
 "Don't you hear liim sing?"" one of the sailors said. 
 
 Sure enough ! When he liad flopped a minute he uttered 
 a low sound, half-way between a monotonous moan and a 
 melodious grunt. And he kept it up, apparently not even 
 stop])ing to catch his l)roath. I can't say that it was much 
 like a rol)in's morning song. Init it was certainly a vocal 
 hum — ])ossibly musical eiuuigli to justil'v his naiiio. We 
 throw him into the harbor, and he vanished. 1 liope the 
 sturgeon and the haddock dragged the sutrercM' to their 
 seaweed h()S])ital and clu'ci'cil him \]\). i)ut they prdliably 
 ate him the minute he touched the water. 
 
 I ought to say that the singer was caught, not on a hook, 
 hut a jig, whicli the doctor had di'o]»|iiMl a-tern to catch 
 a squid. 'I'his jig was a scarlet snoon of (in, with a circle 
 
24 FOLKS XEXT DOOR. 
 
 of twenty barbs around the lower end, and bait is never 
 used to increase its attractiveness. The sea robin had 
 swallowed it whole ! 
 
 Back of Provincctown, just across the narrow ]3eninsula, 
 the Atlantic flings its breakers, with Ireland the nearest 
 land. I went ashore with the doctor and walked upon the 
 sand;, while he repeated the lines: 
 
 White clouds, whose shadows liaunt tlie deep, 
 
 Light mists, whose soft embraces keep 
 
 The sunsliine on the hills asleep, 
 
 O, Isles of calm ! — O, dark, still wood, 
 
 And stiller skies that overbrood 
 
 Your rest with deeper quietude. 
 
 Transfused through you, O. mountain friends ! 
 
 With mine your solemn spirit blends, 
 
 And life no more hath separate ends. 
 
 I read each misty mountain sign. 
 
 I know the voice of wave and i)ine. 
 
 And I am yours and ye are mine. 
 
 Life's burdens fall, its discords cease, 
 
 I lapse into the glad release 
 
 Of Nature's own exceeding peace. 
 
 O, welcome calm of heart and mind ! 
 
 As falls yon fir tree's loosened rind 
 
 To leave a tenderer growth beliind, 
 
 So fall the weary years away ; 
 
 A child again, my head I lay 
 
 Upon the lap of this sweet clay. 
 
 We steamed across Massachusetts bay in a few hours, 
 to old Marblehead, and the trip was nowise notable except 
 for the wonderful placidity of the sea and the beauty of 
 the sky, the cirrus clouds turning a lovely pink as the sun 
 crept down. Over the waters of senna-brown rose the dis- 
 tant spires of Boston as we turned nortli, the dome of the 
 illustrious state house showing bold upon its immortal hill, 
 and two gigantic towers over-topping all. I asked the cap- 
 tain about these two latter, and he said one was Bunker 
 Hill monument and the other was a soap factor}^ chimney, 
 he believed. One was taller than the other, and I asked 
 him eagerly if that wasn't Bunker Hill monument. 
 
 " No," he said, " if I remember correctly, that is the 
 soap factory." 
 
AKOUND CAPP] COD. 25 
 
 On our wa}' across we sighted a school of mackerel, and 
 went back and chased them around the bay. Twice we 
 turned out in the gigs and jaaddled right in among them, 
 but they disappeared almost before we could cast a hook. 
 They swam, when in sight, directly on top of the water, 
 a thousand heads sticking out within a quarter of an acre, 
 and breaking the water into myriad dimples. When a 
 gig came where they were they sank ten or fifteen feet and 
 we seemed to be gliding over a floor inlaid with panels of 
 silver. In the evening, on getting into Marblehead, we 
 told an old fisherman about them. 
 
 " Oh. them isn't mack'rill," he said, " them's pogies — • 
 no good whatsomedever, 'cept to scare off their betters. 
 They're desaiving critters ! Pogies acts altogether differ- 
 ent from mackerel. Mackerel is quieter. Pogies cut ilp 
 a good many didoes. They jump and slap the ocean with 
 their tails like all possessed. You can hear 'em half a 
 mile. Mackerel are not so boisterous." 
 
 We went ashore at Marblehead, and while driving over 
 the rocks recalled to one another the story of Ireson, the 
 sea captain who was cruel to his men, and who was called 
 to account for it when he and they got home. You know 
 the old story with the vernaeularious refrain: 
 
 Old Flud Oirson, with his hord hoart, 
 Torred and futhered and corred in a coart, 
 By the women of Morblehead ! 
 
 We drove up among the quaint slanting old buildings, 
 and wound among the rocks in a landau. I tbink there is 
 no place where the street is straight more tlian two rods. 
 The houses ai'c built on rocks; potatoes are jtainl'iillv and 
 pathetically growing in the crevices of rocks. Jn tbe cem- 
 etery we foTind an old gravestone dated KiSO — forty years 
 after the town was settled. The gi'aves are excavated in 
 the solid rock ; tlie sexton is ol)liged to resort ti'* binsting 
 powder wlicncNrr then' is a (l(>ath. 
 
 '■'^ What do you think of that way of burying? "" 1 asked 
 tbe di'ivci-. 
 
20 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 " Ef the resurrection idee is true," he said, " it's rough. 
 They'd ought to each on 'em be supplied with a hand drill 
 and one charge of blasting powder, at the very least ! " 
 
 When we had "done the town" we went over and ac- 
 cepted the hospitalities of the Eastern Yacht club on the 
 opposite bank and listened to the music, and rowed back 
 to the Falcon at 10 o'clock through a fleet of dories, and 
 a larger fleet of jellyfish, in whose magic phosphorescence 
 our gig left a luminous streak. 
 
OFF TFIE COAST OF MAINE. 
 
 OFF TFIE COAST OF MAIXE. 
 
 TWO RIGHT AVIIALES. THEY ARE PLAYFUL AND COMPAN- 
 IONABLE. EFFECT OF MARINE FOOD. WHAT BECAME OF 
 
 THE GOOD RESOLUTIONS TO STUDY. HARVESTING A 
 
 TRAWL. QUEER DENIZENS OF THE DEEP. 
 
 Next morning the Commodore weighed anchor and 
 fired the cannon in salutation of the queer old town, and 
 steamed away toward Cape Ann and the coast of Maine. 
 He said if we kept outside of the Isles of Shoals, and 
 struck straight across the ojDen sea out of sight of land, 
 we should be likely to see swordfish, sharks, dogfish, black- 
 fish, and the other big fish — maybe whales. And so, verily, 
 we did. Xo shark or swordfish appeared " for certain," 
 though we caught glimpses here and there at a distance of 
 sundry black fins above the water that might appertain 
 to either. The shark and swordfish sometimes lift their 
 noses out of water to see what is going on, the latter giving 
 liis sword an occasional toss into the air; but the grampus 
 is a bull-headed fellow, and he rushes along apparently 
 without observing anything. For an hour at midday we 
 chased a couple of grampuses around ; and then we overtook 
 two whales — right whales, the captain said they were — 
 and we steamed up very close to them, as soon as they had 
 seen us for a short time and become familiar with our 
 peaceful appearance. These last were objects of great in- 
 terest to us; and the Falcon was at one time directly be- 
 tween them, and within a few feet of the nearer one. We 
 could have tossed a biscuit on their backs. They were 
 nearly as long as the Falcon, and moved about it playfully 
 as if to satisfv a livelv curiosity. Findino; that we could 
 
28 FOLKS NEXT BOOK. 
 
 do nothing with them, even if we were to throw a harpoon 
 at them, and reflecting that they might possihly damage 
 us, we at hist steamed away to Bar Harhor. 
 
 I like the sea the hest of anything in tliis interesting 
 world — except, perhaps, the land. There is a beauty in 
 marine life that I had never before discovered. All fish, 
 when first taken out of the water, are fascinating to an eye 
 tliat is fond of animation and brilliant coloring, and some 
 are so bright as to resemlde nothing but some strange 
 jewelry, overgrown and vitalized. 
 
 " We have et a good many fish," remarked the skipper 
 yesterday. " I begin to feel my eyes buggin" out and my 
 mouth bein' sot back furder into my countenance? Don't 
 you notice it? These fish-fed folks up here is said to re- 
 semble fish some. You jest notice 'em. Their wapper 
 jaws hev a underhung expression like the sad and melan- 
 choly mouth of the cod. I've not the least doubt that some 
 of these coasters hereabouts have sprouted fins on their 
 shoulder-blades. Ef you git a chance to peek when their 
 coats are off " 
 
 Our skipper is a solemn sort of personage, and he dec- 
 orates his conversation with wise remarks. He serves as 
 the captain's assistant on all occasions. 
 
 All pronounce these fish the best we have ever tasted. 
 It is astonishing how mucli l)etter a fisli. like other fruit, 
 is when it is first picked. 
 
 We are by no means lonesome^ on the P^ik-cui. We get 
 loads of fun out of mere cabin life. We can generally suc- 
 ceed in ]mlling through with anytliing tliat doesn't re- 
 (|iiire i)r()longed exertion — a song at tlie ])inno. a recita- 
 tion, a sliort reading, a waltz, a rublier at whist nv rrib- 
 bagc pcrliaps — but our grand ])urposes of study are all 
 collapsing. We brought a (Jcvnian graiiunar and four 
 French grannnars. and ]iot om^ bas been (^pcniMl yet. Cod 
 are more atti'acti\c than conjunctions, and hli iriJl ('.<i 
 liahen is not half so exciting as " I've got him." Then, 
 almost ever}' night we steam into a harbor somewhere, and 
 
OFF THE COAST OF MAINE. 29 
 
 exchange calls of courtes}^ and curiosity with other pleas- 
 ure-craft, or receive groups of agreeable villagers who come 
 out to visit us, or run up to the sea-sicle hotel and join in 
 the lancers. We brought a ver}' library of books — mostly 
 novels, of course. The boys have visited the marvelous 
 cave with Monte Cristo, and are now eagerly on the track 
 of the Wandering Jew, and the ladies have done up the 
 latest fiction. We are even making a desperate effort to 
 read " The Wreck of the Grosvenor " aloud in the cabin 
 evenings. The lady who has been constituted secretary of 
 the party keeps a memorandum book always open for ref- 
 erence, in which she records all the good conundrums, iokes 
 or stories that anyl)ody tells. It is filling up. On the fly 
 leaf is this exj)lanation : 
 
 THIS BOOK. 
 
 Here the laughter-making lore is — 
 
 Jokes, cliarades, conundrums, stories, 
 Riddles, puzzles, puns and verses 
 
 Whatsoe'er the gloom disperse — 
 Buried in tliis ciioice collection, 
 
 Shall have joyous resurrection 
 When, oppressed with ennui, all can 
 
 Search the log-book of the Falcon. 
 
 And in the body of the book, among the other facetious 
 miscellanj^, selected and original, is this charade : 
 
 My first recalls the tale of Adam, 
 And of his acquiescent madam. 
 
 My second means to think — to know. 
 In prose it is infrequent, though. 
 
 My whole as lion bold in fight, 
 And as an arrow swift in flight. 
 
 My first, spelt backward, gives the sound 
 That most prevails when jokes abound. 
 
 My second, backward spelt, is like 
 The movement when a door you strike. 
 
 Now teli me what the whole may be, 
 And I will wander there with thee. 
 
30 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 Of course, the word was guessed during the first after- 
 noon by the whole party — " Falcon." 
 
 Every few days we go ashore and get a city dinner. At 
 Bar Harbor the waiter assumed that of course we wanted a 
 salt water repast, and he asked, " will you have hake, 
 bream, carp, scrod or cusk ? " We answered that we would, 
 and we tried them all. 
 
 After inspecting Mount Desert island, the Falcon 
 steamed out of Bar Harbor quite early in the morning, 
 before anybody had turned out of berth. By 7 we began 
 to crawl to the pleasant steamer-chairs on deck and look 
 l^ack on the vanishing land, and ahead at the stormy sea. 
 The wind was blowing stiff and rising fast, and our little 
 yacht keeled over to starboard and churned the water an- 
 grily. " Yon sloop ahead on the portquarter is a trawl 
 fisherman; do you want any fish?" Thus the captain to 
 the Commodore, who at once responded eagerly that he did. 
 The yacht was hauled up to the Avind, and in ten minutes 
 the sail-boat was alongside, bobbing up and down serenely. 
 There were forty or fifty fish in it, cod and haddock, many 
 of the latter being two feet long. The fisherman explained 
 that he was visiting his lines, and expected to get 100 fish 
 in all. "' How many lines have you got out — a thousand ? " 
 asked the captain. '" Jest exackly that number," said the 
 fisherman. 
 
 A Maine trawl, it should be explained, is a long rope 
 lying on or near the surface of the water, and sustained 
 there by buoys, placed at frequent intervals. From this 
 line are suspended a large number of lines — in this case, 
 as has been said, a thousand. Herring is used for bait. 
 Once a day the skipper makes the round of his trawl — 
 usually every morning. 
 
 " Queer-lookin' fish we git sometimes," said the skipper, 
 after we had taken as many cod and haddock as we needed, 
 " mighty queer." 
 
 "Yes?" said the doctor interrogatively. "What have 
 3^ou struck this morning?" 
 
OFF THE COAST OF MAIXE. 
 
 " What ? " said the skipper, touching with his hoot an 
 irregular lump in the bottom of his boat that looked like 
 a piece of furnace coal. " That's a lump-fish. Ken you 
 ketch it ? " 
 
 He tossed it to our deck, and I caught it only to find that 
 it was nearly a cube, and armed with sharp and savage 
 thorns — more than twenty of them erected from his var- 
 ious corners. They pricked my hand but little, for the 
 creature's tough skin masked the spines ; l)ut, if he chose 
 to unsheath them, he could evidently do mischief. He was 
 an ugly morsel for any sort of fish to try to swallow. 
 
 " Yaas," said the fisherman, reph'ing to a question. 
 " By gorry, it doos take a dreadful sight of bait to set 
 a trawl proper. A good cod line is a mile and a quarter 
 long, and every three feet has a cod hook liangin' to it. 
 By jings ! It takes every member of my family to bait 
 the hooks and sometimes I a'most wisli there was more 
 children. They are to home now baiting a line for to- 
 morrow — young herrin', cunner, clams, squid, eels, — any 
 ole thing." 
 
 As we steamed away from the fisherman, the sea became 
 rougher and rougher, and a wave now and then would seek 
 the hospitality of our main deck. A bad day was promised, 
 and the Commodore, with the cordial ai>]Trovnl of the whole 
 party, turned the Falcon's nose around and returned to 
 the sheltered port we had left. It was the first time we 
 had to retreat, and the last. 
 
 "By the way," said the doctor. " let's look at the things 
 I emptied out of mv (lre(lg(\" 
 
 We all followed bin) a ft t<i bear bim discoursi^ learnedly 
 over his favorite pail. 
 
 "There." he said. ])icking up a green string. " is a })lant 
 of eel-grass. Zoslcni iinirliiii. not of popular interest, but 
 prized by naturalists when in seed, like this. Isn't that 
 beautiful, now, when you come to look at it? There's a 
 gaster0]")O(l mollusc — Tret urn ifsiuil'Diix." 
 
 He showed us a specimen of the ordinary limpet — a 
 
FOLKS XEXT DOOE. 
 
 imivalve, not spiral, but in the form of a little shell boat 
 as big as a cent, nearly as broad as it was long, and the 
 whole afterpart elevated as a seat or deck, with an ample 
 cabin underneath. 
 
 " But, see here ! — ah ! Here's something worth seeing — 
 a fine specimen of the sea-spider or decorating crab. He 
 actually rigs himself up jauntily, for the purpose, it seems, 
 of attracting attention. He carries a concealed pot of glue 
 with him, and he sticks all sorts of bright-colored bits upon 
 his shell. He is of the crab genus, Lihinia canaliculata. 
 Just look at him ! He is dressed like a dude. See that bit 
 of red seaweed on his nose, and others waving on his back 
 and claws ? " 
 
 High colors there were, as the doctor said, on the things 
 stuck upon the creature fantastically, but I doubt the or- 
 namental purpose. It seems to me much more likely that 
 he sticks the bits of colored stuff on him to mask his move- 
 ments, so that he can better seize his prey. In a vast 
 slaughterhouse like the sea, where every living fish is him- 
 self a finny hecatomb of slain, and where he is constantly 
 fighting and flying in an endless and terrible struggle for 
 mere existence, I doubt if any crab ever attains sufficient 
 wealth and leisure to lead him to personal adornment for 
 the purpose of adding to his fascinations. It is just one 
 of the doctor's sweet and harmless delusions. 
 
 " You have heard that there are in the ocean experts at 
 all trades, haven't you ? — fish that are architects, house- 
 builders, masons, weavers, jewelers, dyers, cordwainers, 
 butchers, reapers, surgeons! Yerily. it is true. I will 
 show you all these during this cruise. ]My own opinion is 
 that fish ought to be classified above animals for intelli- 
 gence. Some of you saw that lovely sj^ecimen of the anne- 
 lids that I hauled up — the Serpula contortupHcata. Wasn't 
 it a daisy? The creature cannot live out of his artificial 
 house. When an infant he lives in his mother's residence ; 
 then he collects grains of sand or lime and lays up the walls 
 of his new house as deftly as a stonemason, mortaring 
 
OFF THE COAST OF MAIXE. 33 
 
 them all together in a long and serpentine structure just 
 big enough to hold him. When his head is sticking out of 
 the chimnc}^, decorated Avith tall, splendid plumes like a 
 glorified feather-duster, he is one of the most attractive of 
 marine objects, as beautifvil as the brilliant sea-anemone 
 or the rose. The color of the plume varies, ranging from 
 pink to orange, salmon and a rich amber. These houses 
 are generally built in groups, cemented together, a dozen 
 or so living in a village. We will drag uj) some more of 
 them." 
 
FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 HUNTING A SWORDFISH. 
 
 HOW TI-IEY GO AFTER " THE SOLDIER OF THE SEA." — " THIS 
 IS GLORIOUS." — THE SLOOP BOWLS AHEAD, MAN ON THE 
 BOWSPRIT. — " BRING A BUCKET, PETE." — CONCERNING 
 CHAFING-GEAR. 
 
 Yesterday I went out sworclfishing, and this table rocks 
 and reels like a porpoise when I think of it and my stomach 
 heaves a sigh. 
 
 I had longed to go swordfishing all my life. I knew the 
 creature was flavorous, gamey and good, for I had eaten 
 savory bits of him broiled. I knew that he carried on his 
 pugnacious snout a sword of polished ivory, as lively as an 
 Italian's stiletto and as heavy as King Arthur's Excaliber. 
 I knew he would fight like a cowboy, and was from eight 
 to fifteen feet long. So I Avanted to go after him, or I 
 foolishly thought I did. I was talking in this way on the 
 pile of stone they called a wharf when a skipper spoke up 
 and said, " Yon goes a feller after 'em. W'y don't you go 
 along 'er 'im ? " 
 
 He pointed at a sloop bowling along under a stiff breeze 
 straight out to sea towards the Grand Menan. 
 
 " Get him," said I, " and I'll give you a quarter." 
 
 " And Mm two uv 'em ? " 
 
 " Yes, quick ! " 
 
 He blew on his fingers a shrill pipe, one long blast and 
 two short as a signal, and received a similar answering 
 horn. The sails luffed, the sloop hove to and came around, 
 and my whistling agent put me aboard from his own dory. 
 
 I climbed to the little deck, not more than two feet above 
 the water, and bore away for the open ocean. It was a 
 
HUNTING A SWORDFISH. 35 
 
 small craft, of about a dozen tons or so, and the skipper had 
 a crew of two men and two l)oys. The wind was high, and 
 the smack lay down to it, and bowled ahead, jumping over 
 the big waves gleefully. 
 
 When she tacked she laid herself right down before the 
 wind. It seemed nice. Each wave was about as long as 
 the sloop, and rolled up from towards Spain. It was like 
 the corduroy toboggan slide at Coney Island. It suggested 
 going to heaven in a hammock. The skipper and I intro- 
 duced ourselves. His name I had been told was Hallibut, 
 but after I had called him l^y it al)0ut a dozen times I 
 found out tluit it was Hurlbut. He was at the helm and 
 held the reins. Another man climbed to a little platform 
 about thirty feet up the mast, and it was his business to 
 discover the fish and tell the captain which way to steer. A 
 third man took position right out on the end of the bow- 
 sprit with a harpoon in his right hand, a sharp, iigly-look- 
 ing steel weapon six or seven feet long. 
 
 Before these last two entered " on duty '' officially, we 
 lay around on deck and listened to the skipper. He was a 
 shrewd man, well fed and of a dark brown color ; he had 
 a sharp face, and spoke fair grammar, except when excited 
 or sarcastic, and liad evidently seen the inside of a New 
 England school house a good many times. In reply to 
 questions, he said : 
 
 " I fisli for mackerel al)out four months of the year, and 
 for swordfish tlie other four. This is my swordfish season. 
 There, whack it around! |This to the mate, having 
 special referenc(^ lo the main bctcin. | ^'(>s. hsbing would 
 be pretty good Imsiucss if it wasn't fin- the (hul gam Blue 
 Noses. Tliey rusli dowii to Boston — t'ase away that hal- 
 yard a little — and they just flood the market with fish. 
 Mackerel? Well. Ihcy s(^ll by the ])ieci\ T1h\v are now 
 going at about 12 cents apiece in l^oston, l)ut I have sold 
 thousands of them at Tii cents a hundred within a year — 
 that's three-quarters of a rent ajnece. Talk alxmt ]irotec- 
 tion ! Congress. I should think — look out for vour head 
 
36 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 there ! — ought to pass a kiw to protect us fishermen against 
 the ruinous competition of these Nova Scotians. Wha' do 
 ye see, Hank? Mackerel are mostl_v caught in nets nowa- 
 cla3's — they are caught in a net so successful that they 
 scorn to bite a hook. This fleet that we are passing 
 through here are some dozen vessels, they are all fishing 
 for mackerel. You'd better let go that stay-sail up there, 
 John; the top-mast won't stand it." 
 
 The stay-sail was very corpulent, indeed, and rising in 
 a white bubble over all, it bent the main topmast forward 
 like a bow strained for an arrow. " John " loosened the 
 rope and the sail fluttered crazy for a minute, then rushed 
 down to the deck and was folded up in the dory helpless. 
 The wind blew harder and harder. The spars quivered. 
 The maintopsail pufl'ed out like a cap, and fairly seemed 
 to lift the little vessel over the waves. The balloon Jib 
 quite justified its name. We were nearly out of sight of 
 land. 
 
 " This is glorious ! " I shouted. 
 
 " Hey ? " sung out the skipper, above the whistling wand. 
 
 " Glorious ! " I repeated. 
 
 " Tail of a storm/' he shouted back, " shan't git no fish." 
 
 I went over to where he stood. There were two vessels 
 like our own a little distance off, with men in the cross- 
 trees and on the bow. 
 
 The captain tacked, and as the boom came around yelled 
 out, " 'Iv out for your head ! " I looked out for it. and 
 then I observed for the first time that he seemed in trouble. 
 He was swearing in a low, gentle baritone voice uninter- 
 ruptedly, mildly, Avith cpiite a surprising range of epithet 
 and of metaphor. It was the most serene profanity I had 
 ever heard. It had wheedling and even pathetic accents, 
 like a Newfoundland dog that is being petted. 
 
 " What is it, sir? '" I ventured to ask. 
 
 " That infernal son of a sculpin on the lee quarter stole 
 a fish from me yiste'day," said he in the same subdued 
 voice. " TVl like to whale 'im sos't he couldn't stan' " — 
 
HUNTIi^G A SWORDFISH. 37 
 
 and then he blasphemed again in a foolish and ridiculous 
 voice. 
 
 " Did he take it right off the deck ? " I asked. 
 
 He cast a withering glance at me, swore a little, and re- 
 marked, " He did not ; but he might jest as well uv. It 
 was my fish. It wan't more'n ten rod ahead uv us, and 
 we wuz jest a goin' to gather 'im." 
 
 I said I "never considered a deer mine till I'd shot him."' 
 
 He grunted five or six times in a way that was sad to see, 
 embroidering that utterance with an arabesque of profanity 
 quite dazzling to hear, and added, " Hu ! a deer ! well he 
 might git away f'm ye, mightn't he? an' a swordfish 
 couldn't git away f'm me, could he? That's the difference, 
 
 ain't it. Just as soon that white livered measly cuss 
 
 had took it right off'm my deck." 
 
 " Labbord bow ! " yelled the man in the rigging. 
 
 " Hello ! " said the captain in a surprised way, and put 
 his helm a-port. The sloop listed to the leeward and the 
 man on the bow held up his harpoon at arm's length and 
 gazed anxiously down into the water. 
 
 A writhing convulsion — chug — the sharp iron had left 
 his hand and gone into the sea. The rope rattled after, 
 the sloop came around into the wind, a boat was tossed over 
 the guards by a man and a boy, and the chase began. 
 
 Answering my inquiries, the skipper said, " he'll run till 
 he tires out, then he'll come to the surface and they will 
 haul him up to the boat, knock him in the head witli an 
 axe, and pull him aboard — if they are strong enough. If 
 he's too big they'll tow'm over here." 
 
 We were almost out of sight of land. The sloop was 
 running a hurdle i-acc, jumping over waves as high as a 
 house. She pitched fearfully and she rolled awfully. To- 
 bogganing was tiring me out. It suggested going in a 
 hammock to the other place. My stomach was queasy. 
 
 In the distance I could see a forest of sardine vessels at 
 the wharves ready to start when the storm sul)sided. 
 
 " When are we going ashore ? " I asked. 
 
38 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 " When we git some fish," said the skipper. " This is 
 glorious ! " 
 
 I stood up a minute longer heroically, and then I calmly- 
 lay down in the bottom of the vessel — in my white flannels, 
 oh, beloved reader ! in my white flannels. It was wet and 
 mackerel had apparently just been shoveled out of it, 
 but I did not care. I was indifferent as to what became of 
 my clotlies or myself. 
 
 The skipper began to sing. 
 
 I cast one imploring look at him and 
 
 " Bring a bucket. Pete ! '' he exclaimed to the boy. 
 
 Pete did as he was told. 
 
 "Say! Yer siling yer garmints ! " remarked the skip- 
 per. I tried to remember the things he had said about the 
 unscrupulous mariner who stole his swordfish. The sloop 
 lay wallowing in the trough of the sea and I lay wallow- 
 ing in the trough of the sloop. 
 
 '^ Say ! "' repeated the skipper, in his mellifluous voice, 
 "you are faint fer lack of vittals. The boy'll bring you 
 some meat. Wot you want is to put some chafing gear 
 right down on your gizzard." 
 
 I was too wretched to reply, or even to look at him. I 
 thought I would postpone his assassination till I caught 
 him ashore. 
 
 We got back to town some time toward night, and after 
 lying on a pile of boards for a couple of hours I got so that 
 I could stand up and even speak a few words. 
 
 Seeing the infant fiend passing up the street in the 
 gloaming I asked him if they got the swordfish. 
 
 " jSTo, sir," he said. " Didn't ye know he got away fm 
 us and took the harpoon ? That's what made the cap'n so 
 all fired mad coming home. Scurse ever seen 'im madder." 
 
 I shall not go swordfishing again till I cross the blessed 
 river Styx, to whose calm waters sea sickness (I hope) 
 never comes. 
 
AMONG THE QIIODDY ISLANDS. 39 
 
 AMONG THE QUODDY ISLANDS. 
 
 " WHERE THE SUN" RISES." — FIRES AND STRAWBERRIES IN 
 
 AUGUST. CAMPOBELLO. WILLIAM FITZ WILLIAM, THE 
 
 ADMIRAL. GEN. LINCOLN^ AND BENEDICT ARNOLD. 
 
 MYTHS, LEGENDS AND SARDINES. 
 
 It was a bright morning in early August when we 
 steamed into the great harbor of Eastport, Maine, under 
 a cloudless sky. This is the Jumping-off place. It is where 
 Uncle Sam loses his grip of the northeastern corner of the 
 continent. 
 
 " This is where the sun rises, I believe ? " I ventured to 
 say inquiringly to a woman who was keeping store. She 
 was a long, strong, tough-looking specimen of her gentle 
 sex. Ostentatious rope-like ligaments led from her top- 
 knot down her neck to her shoulder-blades, and her back 
 was evidently able to stand alone, and her fist could ham- 
 mer beefsteak, and her weather-beaten eye looked sharply 
 after a bargain, and her jaw Avas pendulous and loosely 
 hung. 
 
 " So this is where the sun rises y "' T asked. 
 
 " Yis, sir! " she answered wath a snap. '' rises soiue; and 
 we jump out of bed early in tlu' moi-ning and \)V\- it u|t with 
 a cro\vl)ar.'" 
 
 I did not express any surprise, for she looked as if she 
 could do it. 
 
 Oil, Ix'loved reader! tliis is an ideal Summer resort. I 
 am writing at the St. Andrews hotel, in front of a fire- 
 place ablaze with a big wood fire. We sleep under two 
 blankets and a sjiread. Most of us wear our winter flan- 
 nels. I^ast eveninsf the vouno- folks had a dance in the 
 
40 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 spacious music-room and a fire of maple logs roared at 
 one end, wliile we read in tlie Boston papers of tlie morn- 
 ing that the day before had been the hottest day of the sea- 
 son and that cattle were sunstruck in the street. Then we 
 majestically arose and coolly took a turn in the Spanish 
 dance. 
 
 We had strawberries this morning for breakfast, and 
 they have them all through August, large and luscious. 
 These are from Maine — the New Brunswick strawberries, 
 not ripe yet, will come to the table in a week or two. 
 
 Why on earth do people go to Saratoga and Richfield 
 Springs and the Berkshire Hills and Deer Park and Chau- 
 tauqua to escape summer heats, when, for $5 more, they 
 can come here where there is not one single uncomfortably 
 warm day through all the intemperate months? The 
 Health Board at Washington reports Eastport as the sec- 
 ond city in the United States in point of healthfulness — 
 San Diego, Cal., being the first. Nobody who prefers the 
 sea need &j to the mountains to avoid hay fever, for no 
 hay fever exists here, and that which is brought here dies 
 a sudden death. 
 
 The island of Campobello lies of? the southeast corner 
 of Maine, in Passamaquoddy Bay, three miles from shore, 
 and is, politically, a part of New Brunswick and Canada. 
 It is ten miles long and three broad, and sits high in the 
 sea, washed by the cooling waves and fanned by all the 
 winds of the Bay of Fundy, at whose mouth it lies. It is 
 a pretty wild island, mostly overgrown with a tangle of 
 spruce and tamarack. There are some fine private resi- 
 dences here, but no hotel extending its welcome to the 
 public. 
 
 This fine, cool island is a bequest from George III. In 
 1761 that wrong-headed old gentleman, in what we must 
 regard as a fit of inadvertence, gave it to one of his most 
 deserving naval officers. Admiral William Owen, who here 
 set up a colony. He soon died, on half pay, leaving a baby 
 in an English kitchen, across whose cradle he had spiked 
 
AMOXG THE QUODDY ISLAXDS. 41 
 
 a bar sinister. William Fitz William this boy was accur- 
 ately called, and when he grew up he ascertained to whom 
 he owed his left-handed patronymics. He followed his 
 father into the English navy, endured privation, hardship 
 and disaster, fought his way to renown and the friendship 
 of Lord Jielson, became himself an admiral, and fifty years 
 after his father died he bought Campobello and made it his 
 little principality. Like a nautical despot he ruled it from 
 stem to gudgeon. Its bow was in Passamaquoddy Bay and 
 its stern sheets fluttered over the Bay of Fundy, and be- 
 tween the larboard shrouds amidships he set up his tall 
 flag and built a quarter-deck of plank out over the sea, ac- 
 cessories of his vanity and symbols of his lordly authority. 
 From the cliff he fired guns of salute to imaginary poten- 
 tates, and in full uniform and with heavy sword in hand 
 he strode up and down his quarter-deck and talked to him- 
 self out loud. He was vain, devout, domineering, gener- 
 ous, garrulous, capricious, contentious, and he made all the 
 inhabitants of the island fear him and pay him tithes and 
 an obedience akin to reverence. His castle on the clifl;s was 
 court and church, he was parson and judge, high sheriff 
 and parliament. He governed this mimic realm and en- 
 forced his whimsical will for many 3'ears ; and finally, in 
 1857, when he felt his end approaching, ho said his prayers, 
 hung his sword and cocked hat on an adjacent hemlock 
 and reluctantly died. 
 
 Benedict Arnold enlivens one ol' tin* cliicL' traditions of 
 this place. Within sight of tlie window where I write is an 
 old-fashioned L-shaped house on Friar Head, wliich. it is 
 declared, the distinguished traitor occu]ued as a residence 
 after ho escaped from tlial cniliari'iissiiig nlTair at West 
 Point and got out of the country. It is well known tliat he 
 lived here oi- licrcalxuits, in ITST and later, and feasted his 
 eyes on the Tnited States right across the strait, and oven 
 traded \\\\\] its inhabitants. 
 
 Then^ are other traditions. It is e(|ually well known 
 that Gen. Ivincoln, of ^(Evolutionary fame, whose unjust 
 
42 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 jn'omotion over Arnold in 1777, created und^ying hostility 
 between them, established a home, after the declaration of 
 peace, on one of the loveliest islands of this archipelago, 
 and numerous are the phantom reminiscences about him 
 and the perfidious and fugitive Yankee soldier. It is re- 
 lated that Arnold one day gave a great dinner at Campo- 
 l^ello — possibly in the castle of old Admiral Owen,^and 
 audaciously invited Gen. Lincoln, his former associate, to 
 attend, breathing the prayer, " Let us have peace." Lin- 
 coln received the card-bearer with " Get out ! Begone ! If 
 you are not away in a minute I'll set the dogs on you. 
 And " — snatching down his sword from the wall — " tell 
 your infamous master that if I come I will bring this and 
 run it through him ! "' 
 
 I ran against a goe^sipy old fellow in Eastport and asked 
 him if this story was true. 
 
 " Why, certain," he said. " Arnold did business there 
 for years, and died there. New Brunswick and Nova 
 Scotia, you know, were settled almost entirely by fugitives 
 and expelled Tories from the revolted colonies, and iVr- 
 nold was made welcome by them. Have you visited Wash- 
 ington's headquarters ? '' 
 
 " Where ? " I asked in surprise. 
 
 " I^p on the Schoodic Eiver yender, about twenty miles. 
 Great large brown house, roof sloping to the ground. 
 Enormous andirons." 
 
 " Nonsense, man ! " I said. " Washington was never 
 here. Was never within hundreds of miles of here. Never 
 could have been. When was it that Washington was here, 
 do you think ? " 
 
 " Jest after he whaled the British at the battle of Bun- 
 ker Hill. Come up here to warn 'em to encroach no fur- 
 ther. Stayed a week. Lived in his headquarters, over 
 yender, and fished in Schoodic." 
 
 As I fled in astonishment I took refuge in a sardine 
 factory. This is the great industry of Eastport. Two 
 million dollars worth a year, it is estimated, are sold from 
 
AMONG THE QUODDY ISLANDS. 43 
 
 here. That makes 35,000,000 boxes. If the clear reader 
 should toss one box in the air every second for twenty-four 
 hours every day, without eating or sleeping or saying his 
 prayers, it would take him two years to count the boxes 
 turned out here in a single season. 
 
 These are not really sardines like those caught in the 
 Mediterranean and put up so neatly at Marseilles. They 
 are young herring, somewhat inferior to true sardines. 
 And they are put up in cotton-seed oil, somewhat inferior 
 to true olive oil. But the price of Eastport sardines is 
 more inferior than the quality; they sell for a quarter the 
 price of the French sardines, and they are equally clean 
 and equally wholesome. 
 
 It would not matter much if these sardines were less ex- 
 cellent than they are. There is a good deal of humbug in 
 the world about food, and millions go hungry because their 
 table is limited to tlieir jDrejudices. They eat broiled horse 
 in Paris and it is just as good as broiled steer; they eat 
 grilled flies and baked cakes of flies' eggs in Mexico, and 
 they are quite appetizing. They are by no means to be 
 despised as food in an exigency. Little herring in sar- 
 dine-form are as good as big herring are in any shape, and 
 I heartily indorse the apothegm of the venerable savant, 
 whoever he was, who said that the man who made two 
 sardines grow where one grew before is a benefactor of the 
 human race. 
 
■ii FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 WONDERFUL FISHING. 
 
 FISH BIGGER THAN THEIR CAPTORS. — SO^SIE NEOPHYTES GO 
 A-FISHING. — AND GET NUMEROUS BITES AND SOME FISH. 
 
 " WHALE TO PORT." DEMAND FOR A SEA-SERPENT. 
 
 THE ROOST OF MOTHER CAREY's CHICKEXS — GRANDEUR 
 OF GRAND MENAN. 
 
 1 NEVER saw such good fishing as there is here in Pas- 
 samaqiioddy Bay — never. The expert angler wouldn't like 
 it. For the expert angler is never happy unless the fish 
 are very difficult to catch. The expert angler avoids those 
 spots where fish are plenty. He likes to sit all day in the 
 hot sun and get two reluctant l)itcs and carry home a 
 three-story appetite and a nose that peels like an over-ripe 
 hanana. Let the expert angler go down where fish are 
 plenty and he hlushes, acknowledges that he has made a 
 mistake and at once moves off to some spot where the game 
 he seeks is more reticent and exclusive. As for me, I don't 
 care much for fishing anyhow, and I despise it where fish 
 are scarce or shy. 
 
 There are shoals, flocks, swarms and herds of fish here, 
 tremendous fellows, solid, sweet and toothsome — cod, pol- 
 lock, haddock, swordfish, hake, scrod, halibut and all the 
 'longshore fighters of the sea. The individuals of a school 
 of fish here average about the size of the individuals of a 
 school of children. Babes of five or six pull in fish bigger 
 than themselves. 
 
 I had listened to these yarns and had received them with 
 bushels of allowance for the florid imagination of fisher- 
 men. I never knew an amateur fisherman who would lie; 
 but I never knew one from whose hook fish did not occa- 
 
WOXDEEFUL FISHING. 45 
 
 sionally escape that were twice as big as they ought to 
 be. One day 1 mustered a sail-boat party for the fishing- 
 grounds — about twenty acres of pollock paradise out in the 
 briny just where (^)uoddy Bay meets the Bay of Fundy. 
 There were five of us — the party besides myself being four 
 ladies just about as ignorant of fishing as I was. All of us 
 had fished, but none of us had ever caught a fish if we could 
 help it. 1 never could bear to see an angleworm wriggle. 
 Thus handicipped, it was naturally not expected that the 
 boat would bring in a fish. 
 
 But it did. Listen to my tale: 
 
 We shortly tacked across the track of a small boat and 
 got some bait — for ten cents a water-pail full of undressed 
 minnows — sardines decollete. The two-inch hook is 
 baited with a whole sardine. It was deep-sea fishing, 150 
 feet of stout line. To tell the melancholy truth, the fish 
 got away with most of our bait. The painful silence in 
 which we began the solemn exercise was broken by one of 
 the ladies, who eagerly exclaimed : 
 
 " I got 'im ! I got 'im ! I've got a fish ! I feel 'im bite ! 
 He pulls like everything ! Perhaps it is a log. There ! he 
 keeps biting ! " 
 
 " Why don't you pull up your line ? " suggested another. 
 
 " There ! he bit again ! Oh, isn't it fun ! I wonder if 
 any " 
 
 " Yank 'im in ! " we shouted in chorus. 
 
 It took her about three minutes to pull in the line, and 
 then her hook was bare. 
 
 "What made him get away?" she asked, looking dis- 
 tressed. 
 
 " After gettin' y'r bait," said the skipper. " and eatin' 
 on it and digestin' on it I reckon he must have laughed 
 and went off to consider- wo't to do next." 
 
 "I feel a bite!" said another. "I'm sure it's a bite! 
 Oh, dear, he kecj^s a biting ! There ! see that ! How he 
 pulls! There, he bites again! 1 shall just spoil this 
 dress ! " 
 
4G EOLKS lYEXT DOOR. 
 
 " Pull 'im in ! " was yelled again. 
 
 The skipper hurried across the boat, took the line in 
 hand and hauled in and landed a good pollock weighing 
 fifteen pounds. He put on fresh bait and handed back 
 the line, observing: 
 
 " Wen you git a fish you must git 'ini. Fish injoys 
 conversation, but 'tain't good fur 'em. 
 
 The capture of a fish stopped our nonsense. We grad- 
 ually settled down to business. There was little more 
 gabbling or dallying. When one of the girls got a bite she 
 tackled to the animal and hauled him in hand over hand. 
 Three or four were so big that the captor could not lift 
 him over the guards unaided. This really was fun. 
 
 As I intimated, about two-thirds of our fish got away 
 from us on account of our inexpertness in taking them. 
 But at the end of an hour we had got into the boat al)out 
 two hundred and fifty pounds of them — pollock, cod and 
 hake — and the largest one weighed twenty-fiive pounds. 
 There were twenty-two dead fish in all. We did not count 
 the number that spit out the hook and sauntered oif while 
 we were considering the propriety of hauling them in, 
 but I estimated that there must have been at least sixty 
 of them. The skipper insisted that the fugitives laughed 
 at us, and I suppose they did. We all felt it keenly. Noth- 
 ing is more humiliating than to be the object of a fish's 
 derision. As we tacked back to the wharf at Eastport and 
 met the Falcon returning from a brief excursion up the 
 St. Croix, we felt that we had spent a memorable afternoon 
 notwithstanding the assurance of the skipper that we were 
 " scorned and hooted at " by the tinny population of the 
 bay. 
 
 Passamaquoddy Bay, I think, is the finest archipelago 
 in America. Portland Harbor boasts three hundred isl- 
 ands, and at the Thousand Islands there are actually, as 
 well as nominally, several times three hundred; but those 
 are serene islets in tranquil waters under smiling skies, 
 while these are breathed on bv all the winds of the earth 
 
Bi^BrfwHT'^iiiiQ^^i^BB^, ^ ^^iw9^^^I^^R^I^^^9^^^^^B^^^^^ 'iciO'^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 
 
 W y^'^^^^^^LW^i^ J^ ^ ^*'iiHI^^^^HB^^^^^r~-'^^^^nH^I 
 
 
 ^=^ 
 
 ^^ ■ " '^^f^-* ■ ''S^^k " 
 
 
 1 
 
 ^^vi^^S^ "^"^ml^^. 
 
 
 ^ 
 
 W'^^f^A 
 
 1 ^B 
 
 
 
 1 
 
 
 1 ■ '^^^^Hr 
 
 J 
 
 
 ^^■i^:^'. ■■^^^amSm-' '"iiw 
 
 f 
 
 
 ■■ ..MM 
 
 
 i ^Hlg^g^m^l^^^^B 
 
WOXDEEFUL FISHING. 
 
 and swept by fierce tides as high as a meeting-house. 
 Through Quoddy Bay and the twin Cobscook Bay and their 
 afHuents a steamboat may wander for a month and never 
 go twice among the same scenery. 
 
 While we were steaming out next day the doctor jDulled 
 in his dredge and found in it two hermit crabs in a death 
 grapple. One had seized a beautiful spiral shell after dis- 
 lodging its original inhabitant and had backed into it. A 
 larger crab had discovered the squatter in his attractive 
 dwelling and had opened a battle for its possession. When 
 they Avere turned into the pail the fight continued, like the 
 fight of two hardy boxers. At the second or third round 
 the assailant seized the tenant and snatched him from the 
 shell with the fierce gesture of an athlete, and calmly ex- 
 amined it and backed into it himself as if he were the 
 original and only proprietor, while the evicted lay sprawl- 
 ing and wounded on the deck, one of his arms lying ampu- 
 tated by his side. It is a curious habit: as soon as a crab 
 or lobster receives a severe injury in a claw it " shoots " 
 it — ^that is, it deliberately severs its connection with the 
 body, discards it, and reproduces it after the lapse of a 
 few days, as the tropical lizard his tail. This ability con- 
 stitutes a great advantage in war time. 
 
 One day we scudded for the open water on a prospecting 
 tour. It Avas a bright morning and we were languid. We 
 loiinged in the steamer chairs most of the day, and read 
 and slept. Probably we missed some of the frisky creatures 
 of the deep that jump into visil)ility for a moment, but 
 we are getting satiated with mere sharks and hlase in rela- 
 tion to blackfish. Nothing but a whale can move us now, 
 and I look forward to the day when we shall be compla- 
 cently insensible to the charms of any monster v\diatever 
 short of " the '' sea-serpent. The ladies are already de- 
 manding a sea-serpent of the captain, as calmly as they 
 would ask the steward for another cup of coffee. To gage 
 this growing callousness, the doctor shouted, " Whale to 
 port ! There she blows," when one of the young men Avas 
 
48 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 playing cribbage with the school-mistress. He ran to the 
 companionway with four cards in his hand and answered 
 back : " Hold on ! Tell him to hang around till I make two 
 more points I "' We saw, during the day, perhaps a hun- 
 dred two-masted fishermen lying-to outside of our track, 
 most of them after sword-fish or mackerel. We ran in- 
 side of the island of Grand Menan — Great Britain's last 
 point of vantage ofl' our coast — a wild, cliff-girt spot, look- 
 ing from the sea as if the top were quite inaccessible. Off 
 its shores you get the savory and beautiful red cod — that 
 is, perhaps you do; we didn't. 
 
 " That's where Mother Carey's chickens breed/' said the 
 engineer. " Cranks think they hatch in the sky or under 
 the water ; but I happen to know that Grand ]\Ienan is 
 their home. They burrow in the sand cliffs like swallows. 
 They swarm in multitudes there, and the great sand wall 
 is so filled with their nests that it looks like some tremen- 
 dous honeycomb." 
 
 I was waiting in the cal)in a short time afterward, when 
 I heard the captain give the engineer one bell — to slow 
 down to half-speed. Wondering what that was for, I 
 started up, when a sailor came running down to say that 
 the Commodore sent word that a whale was in sight. We 
 scuttled to the upper deck, and sure enough, there was a 
 whale of the third class — a humpback — off the starboard 
 quarter, east of Grand Menan, coming out of the water 
 about once a minute to take a good look at us. The Fal- 
 con's nose 'was pointed around toward him, and we fol- 
 lowed him some distance down the coast, but he was skit- 
 tish — nothing like the civilized right whales whose genial 
 society we had enjoyed off Portsmouth. Wo presently 
 withdrew from the race and went on our way. From this 
 point we got tlie liest view we obtained of (irand ]\Ienan. 
 Its purple top was toned up and down the gamut of color, 
 bringing out the dark green of a crowning forest, the vivid 
 green of intervales, the brown of rugged cliffs, and the 
 gloom of high, deep gorges, the whole picture framed by 
 
WONDERFUL FISHING. 49 
 
 the glaucous tints of the restless sea breaking over rocks, 
 and the uncertain blue of the overhanging sky. The pre- 
 cipitous shores are the throne of a wild grandeur, which 
 is augmented by the loneliness of the island and the ac- 
 cessories of an untamed sea. 
 
 The run over to Grand Menan was short. This is the 
 wildest island on the Atlantic seaboard south of New- 
 foundland. Indeed, between the Florida reefs and heights 
 of Mount Desert there is scarcely a hill of respectable size 
 in sight from the ocean. And the promontories around 
 Bar Harbor bear no comparison in grandeur to the over- 
 hanging cliffs of this seagirt rock. The bright sky, the 
 smooth shingle beach, the old l)oats and tumble-down cab- 
 ins, the coves and land-locked bays of lapis lazuli chal- 
 lenge the admiration of the artist's eye. 
 
 Its shores are perpendicular. Its seas are tumultuous 
 and uproarious. Eagles poise over it. Seals bathe them- 
 selves in the sunshine on its ledges. Whales float in the 
 offing and eye it, susi:»ecting that it may be some colossal 
 brother. A wild deer, it is said, still Avanders in the 
 woods. It is a most delicious summer retreat. At St. An- 
 drews we needed fires night and morning, but here they 
 blaze gratefully at midday. There we used two blankets 
 at night ; here we require three. There they have straw- 
 berries all through August ; here they are eaten still 
 later. 
 
 This island is the most untamed and unkempt thing on 
 the whole Atlantic coast. It is a turret of the bold and 
 romantic. It is like one of the Hebrides that Black prat- 
 tles of in " The Princess of Thule," or like Walter Besant's 
 isle of Sampson, where Roland Lee found Armorel. There 
 is no hay-fever here, no consumption, and even gout lifts 
 its agile feet and flies and dyspepsia ceases from troubling 
 here, because the visitor can find little that is good to eat. 
 
 The more one sees of the earth, I think, whether it be on 
 sea or shore, the more one wishes to see of it. I expressed 
 this opinion in the cabin one evening after dinner: "I 
 4 
 
50 FOLKS XEXT DOOU. 
 
 would like to go around the world," I said, " if I could 
 go with this 3'acht and in this comijany." 
 
 " We go around every twenty-four hours.'' said the phil- 
 osophical Commodore; "all we need to do is to keep our 
 eyes open.'" 
 
 Then the chatelaine rose from the sofa, took down from 
 the hookshelves a copy of Whittier and contributed the fol- 
 lowing to the discussion: 
 
 I know not how, in other lands, 
 
 The changing seasons come and go ; 
 What splendors fall on Syrian sands, 
 What purple liglits on Alpine snow, 
 Or how the pomp of sunrise waits 
 On Venice at her watery gates ; 
 A dream alone to me is Arno's vale, 
 And the Alhambra's halls are but a traveler's tale. 
 
 Yet, on life's cui'rent. he who drifts 
 
 Is one with him who rows or sails ; 
 And he who wanders widest lifts 
 
 No more of Beanty's jealous veils 
 Than he who from his doorway sees 
 The miracle of flowers and trees, 
 Feels the warm Orient in the noonda.v ciir. 
 And from cloud minarets hears the sunset call to prayer. 
 
 The eye may well be glad, that looks 
 
 Wliere Pharpar's fountains rise and fall ; 
 But he who sees liis native brooks 
 
 Laugli in the sun, has seen them all. 
 Tiie marble palaces of Ind 
 Rise round him in the snow and wind : 
 From his lone sweetbrier Persian Hafiz smiles. 
 And Rome's cathedral awe is in his woodland aisles. 
 
 And thus it is my fancy blends 
 
 The near at hand and far and rare ; 
 And while the same liorizon bends 
 
 Above the silver-sprinkled liair, 
 AVhich flashed the light of morning skies 
 On childliood's wonder-lifted eyes. 
 Within its round of sea and sky and field. 
 Earth wlieels with all her zones and Cosmos stands revealed. 
 
xVMOXG THE BLUE NOSES. 51 
 
 AMONG THE BLUE NOSES. 
 
 AROUXD THE BAY OF FUXDY. — ST. JOITN's TURBULENT HAR- 
 BOR. — stea:\[er goes up over ax eighteen-foot fall. 
 
 SE'ECTACLE OF ENORMOUS TIDES. A THRASHER, THE 
 
 foe of the WHALE. — TIDE RISES TWO INCHES A MIN- 
 UTE. — IS THERE A " BORE " ? 
 
 One afternoon wc ran np the coast of New Brunswick, 
 and at G o'clock p. ni. we rounded Partridge Lsland, passed 
 the steam fog-horn and tlie ruins of a cliff battery, and 
 hurried into the spacious, but perilous harbor of St. John 
 on a ilush tide. To get up opposite King street, at the 
 center of the city, was exactly like going through Hell 
 Gate in the old time before it was subdued — the same 
 whirling eddies, the same treacherous smoothness as of 
 oil, the same braiding and tangle of tides, boxing the 
 Falcon this way and that, as the most illustrious prize- 
 fighter boxes a suspended bag of wool, the same yawning 
 of hungry submarine chasms, which are the more terrible 
 because they cannot be seen. At one moment it seemed 
 like " shooting the rapids " above Montreal ; and then we 
 slid out upon a space which was supposed to be safe because 
 the tide rushed through it like a millrace from four dif- 
 ferent directions. Here we grappled to a wooden buoy 
 as big as a Connecticut school house, and we had the ath- 
 letic rehearsal over again, and were knocked out all 
 through the night, refusing to come up each time till we 
 were dragged up. 
 
 Next morning we were booked for another novel expe- 
 rience. Into the head of the bay the great St. John 
 river empties the drainings of 10,000 square miles — pours 
 
52 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 them through a gloomy gorge three hundred feet wide and 
 a quarter of a mile long and over a water-fall from to 18 
 feet high. The variation in the height of the waterfall of 
 course results from the tides. So when high tide came, 
 at eight o'clock, we noticed that the falls had entirely dis- 
 appeared and the water was ten feet deep above their brink. 
 We thereupon turned the Falcon's nose northward, slid 
 over the falls as easily as a fish, and made an excursion 
 up the pleasant St. John. At the next high tide we came 
 down again and lay in the whirlpool below and 
 watched the sprouting and blossoming of the great fall — 
 watched its voice, too, grow from the faint silvery tinkle 
 to the deep diapason of the plunge. 
 
 The port of St. John presents a singular spectacle at 
 low tide. At this hour of the day, there is so little water 
 that the ships cannot keep their places at the wharves, and 
 they, therefore, retire down the slope and stand upright 
 on the harbor bottom, each being built with two bilge- 
 keels, or false keels outside of the true keel, which prevent 
 it from tipping over when left by the refluent wave. To 
 see farmers drive tlieir wagons down at low tide and bait 
 their horses under the very rudder of a great ship, while 
 their produce is hauled by a tackle at the yard arm, is a 
 sight obtainable nowhere else on earth. 
 
 We shook ourselves out of the whirlpool's clutches in the 
 afternoon and found the capricious Bay of Fundy smiling 
 and auspicious. Never was a sweeter day, and as we 
 passed the headlands we could see farmers on the fertile 
 meadows beyond jumping into hay-making after a fort- 
 night of rain. At St. John the tide rose twenty-eight feet, 
 but we now struck for the head of the l)ny where the rise 
 is about sixty fe(>t. 
 
 The Falcon was hcadcMl towards tlie Souili l-'ork of the 
 upper bay (the reader is respectfully referred to a map 
 for more specific information), and we had already ad- 
 vanced within sight of llie high rocks of Cape Sjjlit and 
 Mount Blomidon, when one of tlie men called our atten- 
 
AMONG THE BLUE NOSES. 53 
 
 tion to an enormous fish leaping into the air far to the 
 starboard. The captain said, " He's a thrasher, but I never 
 saw one so near land as that before." There was a gen- 
 eral expression of amazement when, a couple of minutes 
 later, he sprang into the air again. He was enormously 
 large, probably the largest fish we had seen except the 
 right whales. He leaped into the air vertically, straight 
 towards the zenith, and at almost every leap he entirely 
 cleared the water, so that we could see daylight between 
 the water and himself. The captain said : 
 
 " That is. I think, the largest thrasher I ever saw ; he 
 is not less than twenty-five feet long, and he may be thirty, 
 and he jumps so high that he must rise fifteen feet clear 
 of the water." 
 
 The doctor knew what a thrasher was. 
 
 " But I never expected to see one — much less here," he 
 said. " The thrasher stands, perhaps, at the head of game 
 fishes, in size, courage and strength. He will kill a shark 
 and eat him ; and even fight a whale. It is alleged that a 
 swordfish and a thrasher sometimes go in company and at- 
 tack a whale, the sword-fish plunging his dagger into him 
 from beneath and tlie thrasher worrying him from above." 
 
 " Yes, I've seen it done," cried the captain, " more than 
 once — that is, as far as the thrasher's business was con- 
 cerned, though I couldn't see what his pard was up to. 
 I've seen a big whale running away from a thrasher, and 
 trying to get a chance to blow and breathe. If a whale 
 can be kept under a little while he will fill up with water 
 and die. Just as surely as a cow will. This thrasher over- 
 took the whale every little way, leaped high al)ove him and 
 came down with a crash upon his huge liulk. I heard the 
 blow distinctly, and heard the whale roar with pain as 
 he fled. I uever saw the result of such a fight, though." 
 
 While this conversation went on the thrasher had leaped 
 ten or twelve times, straight up ; and he came out of the 
 water so silently and rose so steadily to such a height with- 
 out the movement of a fin or any apparent effort, that 
 
54 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 it seemed exactly as if he were shot out of some machine 
 below. This illusion was perfect, and a wooden fish of the 
 same size shot upwards from a submarine bow or catapult 
 would have had precisely the same effect, even to the great 
 helpless splash on the water in falling. Three-cpiarters 
 of all his leaps were straight into the air, a few giving 
 only a partial exposure and occasionally the gigantic 
 creature would lie quietly on the water. We tried to run 
 the Falcon near him, but he avoided us and went his frisky 
 way. I never saw a fish that appeared to have so much 
 fun. 
 
 Around Mount Blomidon we came straight up the Basin 
 of Minas, which at high tide is a huge inland sea, bigger 
 than Long Island Sound or Lake Champlain, and at low 
 tide presents a hundred square miles of moist land to the 
 sky. Here we are now at Windsor — the middle of the old 
 French Acadia — and the Falcon, which this morning was 
 floating in twenty feet of water here is to-night sitting on 
 her dry keel in a little groove of cobblestones on top of a 
 hill from which the water has all receded. We have not 
 changed our moorings at all, and are lashed at the same 
 wharf where we were afloat this morning. But if the wet 
 mud were ice a boy could start from our keel and slide down 
 hill for a quarter of a mile, and the nearest water that 
 would float the Falcon is eight miles off'! 
 
 Past the town and past the yacht the yellow river Avon 
 rushes up and down four times a day after Ijeing bitten by 
 the lunar mad dog. It is of a striking orange color, and 
 sometimes approaches true lemon glory, like a cloud that 
 is full of warmth at sunset. This, dear reader, is mud. 
 When the tide flows up the river and up the hill of mud, 
 on whose to]i the Falcon is balanced at low tide, we can 
 hear its rusliiug and swnsliing, so I'apid is tlie rise. Where 
 we ai-e now llie tide rises just aliout two inches a minute, 
 and t-omes dancing up from the Bay of Fundy right mer- 
 rily. I do not quite understand what makes the tides rise 
 sixty feet here when they rise only five or six feet right 
 
AMOXG THE BLUE NOSES. 
 
 across a twenty-foot peninsula in the Gulf of St. Lawrence. 
 It is all very well to say that the tides are pushed up the 
 Bay of Fundy because it is so long ; but why are they not 
 pushed up Chesapeake Bay, and up the Gulf of California, 
 and up the Baltic Sea, and up the Adriatic Sea to Venice ? 
 The tides at Venice do not rise and fall more than a foot. 
 Why the mountain of water in the Bay of Biscay should 
 gallop across the earth at the rate of twenty miles a minute 
 and climb up this bay, inundating twice a day 1,000 square 
 miles of dry land in this Basin of Minas alone, is some- 
 thing that I do not understand. And the doctor, who is 
 the scientific authority of the Falcon, doesn't understand 
 it either. Somebody suggests the Gulf Stream, but as 
 the Gulf Stream does not flow up the Bay of Fundy, but 
 does flow to Baffin's Bay, the explanation seems lame. 
 
 We were badly off one night here. It was flood tide at 
 6, and floated us to the top of the A\diarf. Then it turned 
 and began to rush down like the Khone from its glacier 
 above Andermatt. The Falcon dropped a foot in the first 
 ten minutes, and then increased the pace. The captain 
 carefully floated the yacht just where he thought she ought 
 to fall, in order to hit the keel-trough excavated by the 
 weight of any number of former ships, and lashed her 
 there. She dropped and dropped, and rested her keel a 
 foot inside the old trough ! It was now too late to improve 
 her position, and the departing tide left her fast, with a 
 gutter four feet deep and five feet wide just outside her 
 keel ! The result was that as she settled she tipped away 
 from the wharf, the top of her masts changing their incli- 
 nation for a while at the rate of a foot a minute ! This 
 could not last long: she would either settle in the old 
 trough and stop, or she would roll completely over and go 
 rolling hundreds of feet down the declivity. She chose the 
 more conservative and circumspect conduct, and rested 
 after listing over so that her masts stood at about sixty 
 degrees with the horizon. We, who had gone upon the 
 wharf to give the Falcon a fair chance to decide the mat- 
 
56 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 ter uninfiiienced by our presence, now climbed aboard 
 the sloping ship and carefully sought the state rooms on 
 the up-hill side. The Falcon did not capsize. Towards 
 morning she suddenly righted with the incoming tide, and 
 stood erect, as complacent as if she had never done any- 
 thing out of the perpendicular in her life. [Mem.: — So 
 
 it is with human nature. A person will , however, I 
 
 have no room for moralizing.] 
 
 T have not seen the bore yet — that perjDendicular wall 
 of water that comes up the bay twice a day — the moist 
 eyebrows of the tide, as it were. I have looked for it, but 
 I have not found it They told us at St. John that we 
 would "■' see a splendid bore in the Avon ; '" they assure us 
 here that we will find a very wild bore "' \ip at Sackville " 
 that puts hens to flight and pens up pigs and cows unci 
 drowns them before they can get away. It ranges from 
 three to seven feet high and marches along at the rate of 
 eight miles an hour, as vertical as Niagara. I know there 
 is such an aqueous monster as this bore; for, though I 
 have not exactly seen it myself, or seen anybody who has 
 seen it, I have seen a man who has seen a woman who has 
 seen it, and my eyes have feasted on a boy who says that 
 another boy has seen it. This is much better than seeing 
 it myself, for it leaves me entirely free to imagine it twenty 
 feet high, and more too. This terrible bore stands at the 
 liead of the incoming tide, but never of the outgoing tide. 
 It is a fact, by the way, that an enormous school of black- 
 fish — some two or three hundred in all — got stranded in 
 Minas Basin last year, and being badly left when the tide 
 went out. the people rushed out with every sort of weapon 
 and slew them on the mud and towed them asliore. I learn 
 that these irregular captors were arrested and tried in tlie 
 local court. This shows how stringent Nova Scotia law 
 is. What they were tried for I do not know — trespass, 
 probably. 
 
THE HOME OF EVANGELINE. 
 
 THE HOME OF EVANGELINE. 
 
 THE FALCON ON" THE AVON. — WHY LONGFELLOW DID NOT 
 VISIT IT. — SOME VALUABLE POETICAL SUGGESTIONS. — 
 "•' GRAND FREE ! GRAND FREE ! " — CHARACTER OF THE 
 AOADIANS. — VISIT TO " BASIL THE BLACKSMITH'S." — OFF 
 TO CANADA. 
 
 It is very odd to remember that all this region was once 
 Massachusetts. In 1691, William and Mary, "by the 
 grace of God King and Queen of England," granted to a 
 favorite the province of Maine, Nova Scotia and New 
 Brunswick under the name of Massachusetts. 
 
 We linger for some days in Nova Scotia, and our 
 yacht is high if not dry on a muddy hill fifty feet above 
 low water. But before supper-time the angry tide will 
 rush foaming and bellowing past, and her native element 
 will return to the Falcon. This is Windsor, the very cen- 
 ter of the old iVcadian country, and this week we have 
 been ransacking " the home of Evangeline " at Grand Pre, 
 ten miles below here, on the river Avon, at its confluence 
 with the great Basin of Minas. Longfellow fell into sev- 
 eral trivial errors of fact concerning the Acadians and 
 their rural capital, owing perhaps to the slight circum- 
 stance that he never visited the spot. When he was asked, 
 while writing the poem of " Evangeline," why he did not 
 come here, he replied, like a true poet, that it would only 
 confuse and embarrass him. " I have formed my ideal," 
 said he, " and the intrusion of gross facts would only ob- 
 scure it." Spoken like a seer. The pilgrim, taking the 
 poem in hand and following its landmarks, would discover 
 almost anv countrv but this. 
 
58 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 I was down at Grand Pre yesterda}'. I tramped through 
 the nuid and rain all over the site of the old Acadian vil- 
 lage. I saw all the relics that remain of Evangeline's 
 time, and brought away my share of them. I was bitten 
 by the mosquitoes till I almost wished the Acadians had 
 never been banished at all. I groped around in the fog 
 and caught cold at Basil, the blacksmith's. Never hav- 
 ing been here, Longfellow wrote of this place : 
 
 This is the forest primeval. The murmuring 23ines and the hem- 
 locks, 
 Bearded with moss and with garments green, indistinct in tlie 
 
 twiliglit, 
 Stand like Druids of old, with voices sad and prophetic. 
 Stand like harpers hoar with beards that rest on tlieir bosoms. 
 Blomidon rose, and the forests old, and aloft on the mountains 
 Sea fogs pitched tlieir tents, and mists from the mighty Atlantic 
 Looked on the happy valley, but ne'er from their station de- 
 scended. 
 
 The cold and naked fact is that there are no forests 
 of deciduous trees within a hundred miles. There are 
 no pines murmuring or otherwise in Nova Scotia, and T 
 have not seen any hemlocks. There arc thousands of 
 good-for-nothing tamaracks and junipers all about, but 
 they have no moss on their bosoms, for Spanish moss does 
 not thrive in this latitude. Blomidon rises, it is true — 
 not very far, but it rises; and the fogs are not at all back- 
 ward about walking out of their tents and crawling down 
 to the meadows of Grand Pre. If Longfellow had dis- 
 pelled his sweet illusions by coming how. he would have 
 written some such commonplace trash as the following: 
 
 This is tl)(> i)r;i.irie jn-imeval. The nuirmnring siirncesand tama- 
 racks. 
 
 Good for notliing to speak of, lonnge and loaf by the roadside. 
 
 Lounge like modern tramps, unwashed, uncombed and im- 
 laundried. 
 
 Robbing the farmers freely, bnt giving tliem never a stiver. 
 
 Sea-fogs squeeze tlieir sponge and sjiread o'er the land a wet 
 blanket. 
 
 Giving the folks influenza, colds, catarrhs and neuralgia ; 
 
 Gaze upon Blomidon also, but hardh' ever go up there. 
 
THE HOME OF EVANGELINE. 59 
 
 In the Acadian land on the shores of tlie Basin of Minas. 
 Distant, sechided, still, tiie frolicsome village of Grand Pre 
 Suffered a little from Indians, bnt very much from mosquitoes, 
 Bloodtliirsty, ravenous, huge, wings like the wrings of ApoUyon, 
 Legs like the masts of the Admiral's ship in the Spanish armada. 
 Voice like the voice of the tide that roars in the Basin of Minas, 
 Auger like unto the screw that pushes the mighty Cunarder ! 
 When they alighted upon the Acadian nose, cheek or ear-flap, 
 Or, when they went into business outside tlie Acadian gayments, 
 They extorted a bellow of rage commingled with angiiish 
 Drowning the cheerful ballad Benedict s.ang to liis daughter. 
 Flooding with wail discordant the forge of Basil the Blacksmith. 
 
 And so forth and so on. Perchance the discriminating 
 reader Avill agree with nic that this is enough of the kind, 
 and enough to show what we shoukl have heen afflicted 
 with if Longfellow had visited Grand Pre and seen it as I 
 did. [Memorandum: If you want to write poetr}^ about a 
 place, don't go there.] 
 
 Longfellow misses it in another particular. He repre- 
 sents the Acadians to have been a sweet, peaceful, pastoral 
 people, good neighbors and excellent citizens, having no 
 ambition except loving all mankind and worshipping God. 
 
 Thus dwelt together in love the simple Acadian farmers. 
 
 Suddenly the troops of Great Britain swooped down 
 on them, carried 3,000 of them otf to Delaware, Florida 
 and Louisiana, and burned their homes behind them, con- 
 fiscating their cattle and their goods. So they have come 
 to be regarded as early martyrs. 
 
 The fact is that the Acadians were a quarrelsome, bump- 
 tious lot of people, almost always in a fight. They were" 
 the worst of citizens, made so mainly by their priests — 
 Father Felician and his fellows — who constantly stirred 
 them up to tumult. They refused to take the oath of alle- 
 giance, and held just about the same relation to the Brit- 
 ish government that South Carolina did to our government 
 during the rebellion. Out of 500 men of Grand Pre 250 
 were taken prisoners while fighting against the country 
 and aiding its enemies. Basil must have been busv most 
 
CO FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 of the time hammering out swords and fixing up old mus- 
 kets. Of course it was hard and cruel to drive the Aca- 
 dians from their homes and burn the houses and barns 
 l:)ehind them, but they had been the aggressors all along, 
 they had been often warned, and the English in Nova 
 Scotia were not then strong enough to exercise clemency 
 in behalf of their enemies, a virtue which they have not 
 learned even in their strength. The Acadians were by no 
 means a particularly virtuous, harmless and unoffending 
 peojsle. They had a hard lot, l^ut then, they were a hard 
 lot. However, they have disappeared — let them pass. 
 
 The facts in the case have no particular relation to the 
 poetry in the case, and Longfellow's poem will stand as a 
 masterpiece, admired by all wlio love a sweet tale, beauti- 
 fully told. I do. So, as I said, I went to Grand Pre yes- 
 terday. I went on the 10 o'clock train, and got there in 
 twenty minutes. '' Grand Free ! Grand Free ! " shouted 
 the conductor — for the English hate the French so that 
 they always Anglicize everything. I wonder they do not 
 call it simply Big Meadow. The station was a small, 
 square building, almost by itself, in the open coun- 
 try. Standing on the platform, facing the front, I knew 
 that the vacant field opposite must be that in which the 
 Acadian church stood where the ]nen were taken pris- 
 oners, and that tliose 1)eyond it, still further nortli, must 
 be the vast meadows which the Acadians had diked and 
 recovered from the Basin of Minas which flowed beyond. 
 An inquiry of the only other person at the station revealed 
 that he knew all about tlie locality, and was both courteous 
 and intelligent. Fie was a Grand Fre farmer, and he spent 
 some hours making me acquainted with all the relics of the 
 Acadians that remain. We waded through the Avater and 
 wet grass down tlii'ough tlic meadow in front, of which I 
 have spoken, and tlici'c round small lint stones in large 
 numbers, which it is claimed wei'i- ]tarl of the foundation 
 walls of the Catholic church where Ihe Acadians wor- 
 shipped, and from which they were finally dispersed. I 
 
THE HOME OF EYAXGELINE. 61 
 
 put some muddy stones in my pocket as a sentimental 
 keepsake. Near tliis an old Acadian coffin has lately been 
 dug up. I was conducted to a well some fifty feet distant, 
 alleged to have been the village well. It was found only 
 two years ago, covered Avith dirt and debris, but otherwise 
 in a good state of preservation. The walls were intact, 
 and now stand precisely as they did when Evangeline or 
 her representative peeped down into it and saw her pretty 
 self. 
 
 Fair was she to behold, that maiden of seventeen summers ; 
 Black were her ej'es as the berry that grows on the thorn by the 
 
 wayside, 
 Black, yet how softly gleamed beneath the brown shade of her 
 
 tresses ! 
 
 I took a sip of the water, put some more muddy stones 
 in my pocket, and picked some daisies and buttercups to 
 stick in my buttonhole now, and press by and by. We 
 went back past the depot, and diagonally opposite to it, 
 across the track, is an octagonal base Avail — probably the 
 remains of an Acadian windmill. On the hill that sloped 
 up from the rear of the depot to the south, are long lines 
 of Avillows, with large trunks and stunted tops, the result 
 of repeated cutting back. These, the farmer said, marked 
 the streets of ancient Grand Pre, but they now run through 
 the fields. Overshadowing the land, they have been at- 
 tacked with fire and the axe, but they have resisted all 
 efforts to exterminate them. Near a stream one of them 
 had been recently cut down, but a hundred yellow saplings 
 had already feathered around it, and the limbs Avhich had 
 been cut into pieces and flung on the ground or sot up 
 against the rail-fence, had all sprouted and were groAving 
 briskly. A little further on up the road is an enormous 
 Avillow some four or five feet through at the base, and 
 back of it is the alleged site of Basil's blacksmith shop. 
 Here Ave found some cinders — cinders 130 years old at 
 least. Climbing into the Avide-spreading avIHoav I cut 
 
63 . FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 several straight twigs to set out on arriving home, a sou- 
 venir of the possible home of the plausible Basil, before 
 whose anvil C7abriel and Evangeline 
 
 Stood witli wondering eyes, to behold him 
 Take in liis leathern lap the hoof of the horse as a plaj'thing. 
 
 Further up the road is an ancient and rheumatic apple 
 tree, which I should think would produce very old cider 
 indeed. From this I devouth- ate a horribly green apple, 
 and passed on up the hill to one of the three or four houses 
 in sight from the depot. The proprietor had always lived 
 in Grand Pre, and in reply to questions he brought from 
 the house a rusty old pail filled with rustier old iron. 
 
 " This gentleman," said my guide, "■' dug out the old 
 well I showed you, and these things were found in the 
 well." 
 
 " At the bottom," explained the finder, " about fourteen 
 feet deep. There is now a wooden cask at the bottom of 
 the well, Avhich was placed there when the well was opened. 
 Having always been under water, it has never decayed, and 
 seems to be just as good as ever. I examined it lately." 
 
 This Ijeing a new find, and unquestionably genuine, I 
 took an inventory : 
 
 Two heavy, awkward chains, each about two feet long, 
 with clumsy swivels; a pair of enormous pincers; two 
 bucket-l^ails ; two hammers, with oaken haiulles in a good 
 state of preservation; three axes, with a "head."" look- 
 ing like tomahawks; a leaden sinker for fisliing, weight 
 three pounds; the bottom of a pot; an enormous brass 
 spoon, with attempts at decoration on the handle; a knife 
 and fori-:, badly rusted, with handles; a big fish-hook, too 
 large even for cod ; an old pail and a " litli(> brown jug; "" 
 a cui'ious old pocket-kui fe, with two blades rusted together 
 forever, and a hook on the back to clean horses' hoofs with. 
 
 All the iron articles were made with a hammer. The 
 knil'e was ]»i'()bal)lv oiie which (iabricl bad ilung into the 
 well, belon^iiiii,- to his cheerful father; but the dolls which 
 
TPIE HOME OF EVANGELINE. G3 
 
 Evangeline had given sepulchre there had entirely disap- 
 peared. I told the custodian of the bucket that if he 
 would go into the house I would gladly steal some of the 
 contents, but he declined to turn his back upon me for a 
 moment. In an adjacent blacksmith shop we found an 
 Acadian plow, all but the woodwork. The landslide, 
 moklboard and share were in one piece, solidly welded upon 
 a heavy platform, covering the whole bottom. An idea of 
 this strange agricultural implement can be gained by 
 imagining a flatiron a foot wide, a foot and a half long and 
 an inch thick, with two sides erected from the edges of the 
 V and joined above to some sort of handles. It was found 
 buried in the fields. 
 
 I was conducted back to the station by my guide, Avho 
 asked the stationmaster about " the old coffin," and the 
 latter produced the lower side of the coffin before referred 
 to as having been dug up in the field by the church. He 
 helped exhume it. It was completely covered with water, 
 and was, being completely saturated, well preserved. He 
 gave me a piece big enough to make a cribbage-board of, 
 and I am free to infer that Evangeline's grandmother 
 once occupied it. Only two or three w'hole bones were 
 found in it. 
 
 This good stationmaster also gave me a portion of a 
 gridiron, which he plowed up in the same field, and I shall 
 eat broiled fish from it in the sweet confidence that Evan- 
 geline herself has sniffed from it savory incense, and even 
 quenched her appetite with its morsels — if the dear crea- 
 ture ever had an appetite. About all that is left of the 
 ancient Acadie is its trees and its dikes. The trees are 
 wholly of willow and apple, and they define great squares 
 in the green landscape. The dikes have survived all changes, 
 and have grown until there are now three thousand acres 
 of the marsh fenced in instead of the two thousand acres 
 that had been stolen from the tides when Grand Pre was in 
 its pride and prime. They were thrifty, those old, French- 
 men. They didn't take many chances. The dikes of their 
 
64 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 handiwork that still remain are mostly inclosed \nthin 
 one another, and their formation shows that they built 
 little experimental dikes first, and, when these proved a 
 success, extended the effort and continued the battle with 
 the sea by means of other dikes beyond. From little to 
 more was their motto. 
 
 The people who now occupy this region of Grand Pre, 
 Horton and Wolfville, from which the French marauders 
 and insurgents were expelled in 1755, are mostly New 
 Englanders and their descendants. It is a curious his- 
 torical turn-about — transplantation of Acadians to the 
 States and of Yankees to Acadia. Yet so it is. The 
 present farmers of Grand Pre, the fishers at the mouth of 
 the Gaspereau, where the Acadians were put on shipboard, 
 and the loungers gathered out of the rain in the groceiy 
 store of Wolfville (or "• Wolfl," as they call it), seemed 
 exactly like the same class in Concord, Groton or New 
 Canaan, — the same garb, the same whimsical manners, 
 the same slant in their speech. And most of the Y^ankees 
 who came here were about as much expelled and exiled as 
 were the Acadians. They were Tories in the Eevolution, 
 and left the towns along Massachusetts Bay and Long Isl- 
 and Sound when their native land got too hot to hold them. 
 They had about as hard a time as the Acadians; for, like 
 them, they had the distress to see their property confiscated 
 by the government which they had opposed. The paral- 
 lel, however, seems to end here. For the Tories who fled 
 to Nova Scotia and New Brunswick — especially the 5,000 
 who founded the city of St. John — were generally a high- 
 minded, independent, superior class of men, and a much 
 larger part of them were educated than of the revolution- 
 ists who had expelled thein. They rose to commanding 
 positions in these provinces, and their descendants are now 
 among the first citizens. I met one yesterday who bore 
 a familiar old Khode Island name. 
 
 " j\[y great-grandfather was a Tjoyalist." lie said, "and 
 was sent away from New Bedford for hurraliing for King 
 
THE HOME OF EVAXGELINE. Go 
 
 George. He was sincere, of course, in his position, but 
 he lived to see that King George wasn't a very great bundle 
 of wisdom, and in 1813 both he and my grandfather wished 
 the States to triumph. As to the status now — well, there 
 is abundant loyalty and kind feeling for the roya) family, 
 but 3'et the opinion is all but unanimous that Nova Scotia 
 Avould be three times richer and more prosperous to-day 
 if it was the forty-sixth state of the American Union. It 
 will never happen, I suppose." 
 
 The fact that " every old crow thinks her own young the 
 whitest,"' is founded on the tenderest of emotions; Imt is 
 it not odd that every villager should think his own village 
 the loveliest? Every person that I have met here takes 
 a iDroprietary interest in Windsor. It is well for their 
 peace of mind that it is so. " Don't you think this a beau- 
 tiful town ? " asked one of them yesterday. " Yes, indeed, 
 it is," I said. If the reply was politely disingenuous, it 
 certainly was not untrue. All towns have elements of 
 beauty. If they have nothing else, they always have the 
 sky perpetually within sight ; and there are, I think, few 
 landscapes so beautiful as shifting clouds. Windsor is a 
 slouchy and disheveled old town, having few attractions 
 l)ut its plumed elms, its amiable citizens and the pretty 
 towns that lie next door. 
 
 Here we leave the yacht Falcon, and go touring to Can- 
 ada. It is with real reluctance that we quit our lux;urious 
 quarters. Presentation copies of " Evangeline " are flying 
 around thick, and we drop the conventional tear to the dear 
 unwedded maiden's memory. 
 
6G FOLKS NEXT DOOK. 
 
 OFF FOR NEWFOUNDLAND. 
 
 GENESIS OF NOVA SCOTIA. A CHILD OF NEW ENGLAND. 
 
 THE YANKEE FARMERS. WHERE CAN SAM BE? THE CRY 
 
 OF AJAX FROM A STATEROOM. SIZE OF NEWFOUNDLAND. 
 
 t 
 
 The 3'aclit Falcon we have left lashed to the wharf at 
 AYindsor, on the Avon^ one of the upper affluents of the 
 freaky Bay of Fundy, on top of a mud mountain from 
 which a sixty-foot tide had withdrawn in the morning, and 
 we talce the steamer Miramichi at Pictou, in the Gulf of 
 St. Lawrence. The trip to the vessel is not exciting. In 
 the matter of fertility New Scotland cannot compare even 
 Avith Old Scotland. From Windsor across to Halifax is 
 a dreary waste of rocks and scrub-spruces and wild ponds 
 for fifty miles, awakening in the mind ideas of hopeless 
 desolation. This accounts for the fact that any town where 
 apples can be grown is called the garden of the province. 
 A farmer might do worse than to settle in Nova Scotia. 
 Nova Zembla would be worse, and perhaps even Greenland. 
 I am proud to reflect that Adams and Franklin knew 
 enough to insist that Great Britain should keep Nova Sco- 
 tia in the settlement of 1783. What consideration King 
 George claimed and received for yielding the point, I do 
 not now remember. The New Englanders have inadvert- 
 ently overrun and conquered Nova Scotia two or throe 
 times. In 1690 men from Massachusetts and Connecticut 
 captured all the fortresses of Nova Scotia, just for physi- 
 cal exercise, and observing what sort of a country it was, 
 gave it l)ack to the French immediately. Thirty years 
 later a new generation had risen around Boston and New 
 Haven ; and, in the ignorant restlessness of youth, they 
 
OFF FOR NEWFOUNDLAND. 67 
 
 fancied that they wanted Nova Scotia — especially the fort- 
 resses. Off they went on their sloops and picked the cov- 
 eted fruit, and when they had got it and looked it over, of 
 course they didn't want it, hut France refused to accept 
 it again and England had to keep it. Thirty years later 
 the same meddlsome Yankees thought they wanted Louis- 
 bourg, one of the strongest fortresses in the world, on 
 Cape Breton Island, known as " the Gibraltar of the 
 West." They didn't want it, but not having any trinket 
 like it, it excited their covetousness. So 4,000 of the 
 farmers of Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Connecti- 
 cut, having polished off the local Indians, marched for 
 Louisbourg, under command of a Boston lawyer named 
 Pepperel. They ought not to have taken this well-manned 
 fortress, on which France had spent $8,000,000, l)ut they 
 did — by sheer l:)lundering luck they did. And when the 
 garrison of 2,200 French soldiers surrendered, and the 
 agricultural conquerors marched in and saw that the fort 
 was actually impregnable, their knees smote together with 
 surprise and mortification, and they went to the ex-com- 
 mander and told him they " wouldn't have taken it if they 
 had known how thundering strong it was." Europe was 
 astounded at the exploit. King George II. made Pepperel 
 a baronet and his assistant a rear admiral, and those of the 
 assailants who were alive went back to New England, and 
 got home in time to hoe the potatoes. 
 
 We are afloat on the big and rather depressing steamer 
 Miramichi (Me-ra-ma-shee), making our way tediously 
 toward Labrador. Tediously, of course ; any mode of 
 travel would be tedious to a party spoiled by a month upon 
 the Falcon. And yet there are alleviations. My berth 
 is exactly sixteen inches wide, by actual measurement, and 
 there is reason for most profound thankfulness that it is 
 no narrower. I cavort on it with gladness, and reflect how 
 I must suffer if it were only two inches wide. Then the 
 stewardess (Neptunese for chambermaid) is a sunny, joy- 
 ous, frolicksome, freckled thing, red-headed and happy. 
 
68 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 with a hare lip and a pure heart, a foot like the doorstep 
 of a Connecticut meeting house, and a voice like the sound 
 of many waters. The charming creature began to sing 
 " Sweet Hour of Pra^-er " at 4 :30 this morning, and it 
 rang through the saloon for an hour like a pestilent bene- 
 diction. The character of the benediction was modified 
 from time to time, by the ejaculatory responses which the 
 hymn elicited from the staterooms, where a hundred peo- 
 ple were trying to sleep. 
 
 " Holy Moses, Hanner ! " I heard a voice shout, 
 " what'U you take to come and stand right here by my 
 door and sing for three hours, and not be waltzing around 
 and shedding them seraphic tones among strangers who 
 don't appreciate 'em ? " 
 
 She muttered something I could not understand, and 
 went prancing away to confer some of her vocal ambrosia 
 on sleepers at the bow. This is a pretty fair, steady-going 
 steamer. The saloons are spacious and airy, and the 
 promenade deck reaches over almost the whole vessel. The 
 table is good, too, though some " green corn " that showed 
 itself for dinner last night was smudgy and melancholy, 
 and looked as if it had been rescued from some agricultural 
 morgue. The staterooms are tolerable, except that there 
 are too many in a room — too many, I mean, besides those 
 who pay their passage. The lamps are never lighted, 
 whether from motives of safety or economy, I do not 
 know. x\fter retiring last night I heard a voice — 
 
 " Steward ! Hey, Steward ! "' 
 
 " All right ! All right ! " said that officer, huriying up 
 and sticking his head into the room. 
 
 '' Steward, see here, my good fellow ; are there any jelly- 
 fish in these waters ? " 
 
 " Why, yes, sir," replied the steward, in a surprised tone 
 of voice. " There's plenty of 'em all along here. Sea 
 nettles, the sailors calls 'em.' 
 
 " But they're not the kind that give light — phosphor- 
 escent they call 'em, vou know ? " 
 
OFF FOR NEWFOUNDLAND. 69 
 
 " 0, yes, sir ; these are jest the kind," said the steward. 
 "They're wonderful fiery, sir; you can see 'em sparkle in 
 the waves like stars." 
 
 " 0, ah ! that's the sort, then. Well, steward, I wish 
 you'd just catch me a couple and hang 'em in this state- 
 room till I find my collar button." 
 
 A sally of laughter from adjoining staterooms greeted 
 the request, and the steward gave a snort of disgust at the 
 poor quality of the joke and strode off. The sufferer was 
 the same chap who this morning tried to negotiate wdth 
 the stewardess to locate her brass band in front of his door. 
 Some people are never happy. 
 
 For an hour before daylight the stewardess wandered up 
 and down the saloon turning the lamps lower and shout- 
 ing, " Sam ! Sam ! " in a frenzied sort of way, as if she 
 supposed Samuel was concealed in every stateroom. I 
 don't know who Sam is, or where Sam is, but I do wish 
 he would come forth. Having saluted every sleeper with 
 the abbreviation she has lapsed into vocal piety again, and 
 has struck up " Pull for the Shore." I don't see wdiy she 
 desires to go thither, though the boat has snubbed up, 
 or why she exhorts everybody to pull in that direction, for 
 Prince Edward Island has a most uninviting aspect from 
 the deck — low, sandy and commonplace, a long street of 
 slouchy buildings, as I make them out in the dawn, and 
 the sign of the town's industry at the water's edge, in the 
 shape of the yellow ribs of a prospective vessel standing 
 up naked and gaunt like the skeleton of a megatherium 
 aground. 
 
 We shall approach Quebec by the somewhat roundabout 
 way of Newfoundland, with glimpses of the grim coast of 
 Labrador. It is in keeping that the greatest outflow of 
 water on the North American continent should be inter- 
 cepted at its mouth by the greatest island on our coast — 
 an island larger than Long Island, or even Cuba. New- 
 foundland is large enough to make six states like Massa- 
 chusetts. 
 
70 
 
 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 NEWFOUNDLAND AND LABRADOE. 
 
 COAST AND I^'TERIOR. ST. JOHN's CITY AXD HARBOR. 
 
 THE FISHING FRENZY. ROBBING THE ICEBERGS. LONE- 
 LINESS OF LABRADOR. 
 
 The Norsemen were familiar with the coast of New- 
 foundland and had visited even the interior four hundred 
 years before Columbus was born. They called it " the 
 brother of Iceland." So, indeed, it is. The huge and un- 
 kempt island rises from the sea, a triangular colossus of 
 rock and gravel, thrusting its eastern wedge afar towards 
 Galway. The traveler accustomed to the verdurous vel- 
 vet of New England is startled and shocked at the barren 
 inhospitality of its hard and stormy outlines. Along the 
 bleak and precipitous shore is a fringe of meager birch 
 and dwarf firs; inland spreads wide an unexplored wilder- 
 ness of moss and marsh, and through these solitudes roam 
 herds of deer pursued by the wandering remnant of the 
 Micmacs. 
 
 St. Jolm's has certainly one of the finest harbors in 
 the world, vying in this respect with Halifax, and it is the 
 most easily defended city on the whole Atlantic seaboard. 
 The ocean-wall encircles the outer bay, a mighty Coliseum, 
 and ships make their way to the city through a narrow 
 notch in the lofty and rugged cliffs, a very pass of Killie- 
 crankie, invisible uutil the mariner is almost within its 
 towering Inittresses of dark red sandstone. In the heart 
 of this fortress sleeps the sluggish city — the sleepiest and 
 the fishiest city in America. 
 
 The most picturesque characteristic of Newfoundland 
 is its rude and untamed coast — a marvelous labvrinth of 
 
JSFEWFOUXDLAiYD AND LABEADOE. 71 
 
 dark fiords and maze of islands pathetic in their loneli- 
 ness but often presenting magnificent vistas. Within the 
 brown bleak mountain range that fences out the Atlantic 
 is here and there a hint of verdure, Imt the inhabitants 
 are mostly farmers of the ocean and live upon its harvest. 
 St. John's is a wooden city, irregular and unclean — tur- 
 bulent and quarrelsome, too, when the cod-fishers come 
 home. It has no manufactures save such as result from 
 the effort to supply fishermen with hard-tack. Around a 
 great part of the harbor are fishers' sheds, whole acres of 
 them, roofed with cod, split in half, overlying each other 
 like slates or shingles, and trying hard to dry in the damp 
 and foggy air. In early spring almost all of the men go 
 out in fleets to meet the icebergs floating down from Baf- 
 fin's Bay, and gather the seals, still clinging to them. A 
 month or two later a half of all the families of St. John's 
 go in schooners up to the coast of Labrador, and spend the 
 summer fishing there. And they joyfully carol as they 
 go: 
 
 " Now brothers, for the icebergs 
 
 Of frozen Labrador, 
 Floating spectral in the nioonsliine, 
 
 Along the low, black shore, 
 Where, through gray and rolling vapor, 
 
 From even unto morn, 
 A thousand boats are hailing, 
 
 Horn answering unto horn. 
 
 " There we'll drop our lines, and gather 
 
 Old Ocean's treasures in. 
 Where 'er the mottled mackerel 
 
 Turns up a steel dark fin. 
 Tlie sea's our field of harvest. 
 
 Its scaly tribes our grain ; 
 We'll reap the teeming wateis 
 
 As at home they reaj) the i^lain. 
 
 Tlio women and children who are left behind sow and 
 ])lnnt and woo the frigid suiiiiiici- and dry the fish. 
 
 Some features of the natural liistory of the island were 
 quaintly outlined by Whitbourne in 1622 : '" Neither are 
 
FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 there any Snakes, Toads, Serpents or an}- other venomous 
 Wormes in that Conntry, but only a very little niml:)le Fly 
 (the least of all other Flies) which is called a Miskieto ; 
 those Flies seem to have a great power and Authority upon 
 all loyteriuii- and idle People that come to the Newfound- 
 land." 
 
 The coast of Labrador, above the strait of Belle Isle, 
 consists of a multitude of precipitous crags and turrets in 
 rank and file, towering into the air, and cut into every 
 grotesque form that fancy could devise — every variety of 
 human architecture, tower, l:»astion, temple, mosque, cathe- 
 dral. The skv-line of New York from Jersey City does not 
 present greater contrasts. There are no cities in Labra- 
 dor — no villages — of inhabitants there are only squalid and 
 scattered clusters, living precariously on fish and wild 
 fowl. Even the birds are so unsophisticated that they do 
 not fear the sight of man, but suffer themselves to be lifted 
 off their very nests without protest. July is the rosy time 
 of Labrador — the one single month when visitors find it an 
 agreeal")le refuge. 
 
 Before reaching the mouth of the St. Lawrence we pass 
 Perce's rock above Cape Despair. It is a tower of red sand- 
 stone and conglomerate, the wrinkled and menacing sides 
 of which are full of a fierce grandeur, and the inaccessible 
 top of which is the home of countless Ijirds. There are two 
 villages of these, one of gulls aud the other of cormorants. 
 They have tacitly divided their aerial tal)le evenly between 
 them, and this compromise insures peace, except when the 
 inhabitants of one village intrude upon the territory of 
 the other, which is about once in fifteen minutes. Then 
 ensues a battle for possession, and the angiT warriors are 
 seen wheeling in speckled clouds above their aerie, and 
 their fierce cries salute the passing ships. [Mem.: — This 
 
 reminds the spectator of , however, this is no place for 
 
 moralizing.] 
 
 The Perce ghost is also frequently seen by mariners hov- 
 ering about the scene of the tragedv of long ago, when 
 
NEWFOUNDLAND AND LABRADOK. 73 
 
 Queen Anne sent Admiral Hovenden to storm Quebec. 
 He wickedly paused at Pictou and stole an Acadian bride 
 from the side of her betrothed at the altar: then he set sail 
 again for Quebec, and his squadron was wrecked on the 
 rocks at Perce. 
 
 Noi'tbward Sir Hovenden made full sail, 
 But down from Labrador's dai'kened coast 
 
 The Storm-king sent him a frozen gale 
 
 And the fleet on Cape D'Espoir vvjis tossed ; 
 
 From the rueful wreck there rose a wail — 
 The wail of a countless iiost. 
 
 And now, when the moon is drowned in clouds, 
 A ghost-sliip drives througli the blinding storm ; 
 
 Her deck is alive witli clamorous crowds, 
 And out of the midst of tlie mad alarm 
 
 An ofificer leans from the larboard shrouds 
 With a dead girl on his arm. 
 
 Yes, dead, I say, in a robe of white ; 
 
 And offc the Admiral's signal gun 
 Is heard ashore in the dead of night 
 
 When the ghost-ship over the reef has run. 
 And the girl's eyes glow with a filer}' light 
 As the ship goes dancing on ! 
 
 O; skipper ! I speak the trutli. Benare ! 
 
 I see her face from tlie misty sliore. 
 I hear ascend througii the midniglit air 
 
 A wailing above tlie tempest's roar ; 
 " Cape Hope " no longer, but " Cape Despair " 
 For the tragedy wrought of yore. 
 
 Another day passes. We leave the gloomy bastions of 
 Perce's rock and its quarrelsome population, trace off the 
 starboard quarter the green reaches of Anticosti Island, 
 the terror of mariners, take a farewell look through the 
 glass at the vanishing coast of misty Labrador, and finally 
 feel tliat tlio groat Gnlf is far beliind us as wo thread our 
 way througli myriads of lishing l)oats and glide ahuig the 
 smooth surface of the St. ]>awrenec. A ^■ast river it is! 
 AVhat an estuary! An inland sea, mow truly. Neither 
 shore is visible, for the I'ivcr is !)(! miles wide! At 100 
 miles from its numth it is .SO miles wide, and the averaire 
 
FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 width to Quebec, 400 miles from its mouth, is more than 
 ^5 miles ! It is certainly the most navigable river in the 
 world, for ships ma_y ascend for 150 miles without seeing 
 land or throwing lead. The St. Lawrence was famous in 
 Europe while Cortez was busy in Mexico, and before any 
 other American river was known at all ; and I remember 
 seeing an old map made in Antwerp 300 years ago, in 
 which the great river is clearly outlined, while the where- 
 abouts of jSTew England is indicated only by the mythical 
 cities of Xorumbega and Orsinora, and the rest of the 
 twin continents dwindles away into " unknown regions."' 
 Whales are seen in the St. Lawrence every week, and there 
 is a fisherjr for these whales on the Isle of Orleans, 400 
 miles from sea ! Taking the St. Lawrence all in all, its 
 tremendous estuary, the immense volume which it out- 
 pours, the black ravines that feed it, the huge precipices 
 that overshadow it, the thousands of peerless islands that 
 begem its path, the fall over which it plunges, and the 
 vast seas in which it rises, and it is, without doubt, unique 
 and unequaled among the rivers of the planet. It is the 
 open highway to the heart of tbe continent ; it drains an 
 empire of 1,500,000 square miles, and the great seas in 
 which it has its source are said to contain one-half of all 
 the fresh water on the surface of the globe. I approve of 
 the St. Lawrence; it is an immense success. It is exactly 
 such a river as ought to have been produced, just to show 
 what can be done in riparian articles of that sort. And 
 now I will go up on the deck of the Miramichi and take a 
 constitutional in the bracing air, l)y walking thirty times 
 around, observing, meanwhile, the blue far-off shores and 
 the fishermen near at hand, who bave drifted out from their 
 quiet coves to quarry in the silver mines of this inland sea. 
 
QUEBEC AND MOxVTEEAL. 75 
 
 QUEBEC AND MONTREAL. 
 
 UP THE SAGUENAY. — A TREMENDOUS CHASM. — CURIOUS OLD 
 
 QUEBEC. A CITY OF THE MIDDLE AGES. SURROUNDINGS 
 
 OF MONTREAL. THE ST. REGIS BELL. FISH AGAIN. 
 
 We spent one day np the cai\von of the Saguenay, that 
 naked and untamed affluent of the St. Lawrence. It 
 courses southward down through Labrador, and is worth 
 visiting as a gloomy gorge. It is not like a river; it is 
 like a Norwegian fiord walled in by volcanic rock, into 
 which the sun shoots its cold rays slantwise, and scarcely 
 touches water. There is hardly any life anywhere — few 
 huts in the base of the black clitfs, no Indian peeping out 
 of the copse, no fishing boat on the sorrow-haunted water, 
 no bird in the abyss; and there is no beaut}^, either, except 
 the sublime beauty of overhanging peak. There are not 
 even those magical illusions of atmosphere that are suffi- 
 cient to soften and irradiate if not to transform any wild 
 landscape. Silence reigns. There is nothing but an awful 
 and tremendous chasm, like the Dead Sea, black as tar, 
 surrounded Avith a sharp escarpment of gigantic gneiss 
 feathered with firs of a gloomy green, and relieved against 
 a background of cold sky. We needed our overcoats and 
 wraps to sit on deck, and at night there were loud calls 
 for more blankets. 
 
 Curions old Quebec! relic of the middle ages. I do not 
 know of any view on this continent that equals that ob- 
 tained from the salient angle of the citadel. It finds a 
 parallel, perhaps, in that from Stirling Castle, in Scot- 
 land, but it is still given first place by the infinitely varied 
 scenery of low-lying meadow, and distant mountain van- 
 
'6 FOLKS ^^EXT DOOR. 
 
 ishing in blue, river like an inland sea, blossoming with 
 sails and alive with steamers that look like animated toys, 
 and majestic public buildings and antique spires and 
 feudal walls. Quebec is a gigantic parapet of rock, cov- 
 ered with 20,000 people, like ants clinging to a camel's 
 back. In the old town the streets are narrow and tortu- 
 ous, the houses are crooked and aslant, and fantastic ; 
 there are sabots, blouses, portcullises, and posterns; the 
 scenes through which one passes are picturesque as a pano- 
 rama. From Duiferin terrace one looks down on ships' 
 masts — ships showing every flag Imt ours — and hundreds 
 of acres of pine timber floating down to market. And the 
 ferry boats are weaving their web of light upon the water, 
 and shadowy ships come beating up the river to their 
 haven. Wherever one goes about the city the gigantic 
 citadel on Cape Diamond towers above. This is a city of 
 contrasts. A seaport 400 miles from sea; a fortress and a 
 mart in one. An American city inhabited by French, 
 governed by English and garrisoned by Scotch ; a town of 
 the middle ages under constitutional government ; street 
 cars running over moats and drawbridges, and telegraph 
 wires clinging to the sides of feudal castles; a refined city 
 flanked by Indian tribes and barren mountains; in the 
 latitude of Paris, but suffering the winter cold of Green- 
 land. Before the Eevolution this whole continent was 
 governed from the castle of Quebec — Xew York and Bos- 
 ton were held subordinate to this eagle's nest of the 
 north. We went through the citadel yesterday. It is a 
 powerful fortification, covering forty acres of ground, but 
 not near so powerful as it looks. It could be shelled out 
 from the Isle of Orleans, or the distant heights, or even 
 the bay ; and, without strong batteries on the river, would 
 prove by no means impregnable. There are aliout 180 
 militia in possession at jiresent. Imt I don't know exactly 
 what would happen if England and France were to break 
 friendship and the French of (^)uebec should really wish 
 to capture the citadel. 
 
QUEBEC AND MONTREAL. 77 
 
 In Montreal you feel that 3'Ou are in a foreign land. 
 Everywhere a chatter of French, or what passes for it ; 
 everywhere an inexplicable tangle of races and bewilder- 
 ment of strange usages; every little way an odd patch- 
 work of stone and stucco; scattered thickly, the old 
 churches, almost as many as there are in Naples, recalling 
 the ecclesiastical and feudal domination of the past. It 
 is scarcely necessary for me to describe the city in detail. 
 
 The finest thing about it is the great mountain that rises 
 like Gibraltar sheer from the back door. The summit is 
 reached by a direct zigzag almost up the very face of the ac- 
 clivity — a sort of terraced wagon way, meeting alternate 
 ends, like the paths familiar to Alpine travelers. From the 
 top the view is magnificent : the St. Lawrence plunging over 
 the rapids above and winding around the town and farther 
 north the turbid Ottawa ; below, so near that the Agnostic 
 of our party suggests throwing a stone upon it, the convent 
 of the Grey Nuns; far down the river through the trees 
 the top of the Convent of the Sacred Heart ; here at the 
 right the broad wings of the great hospital, Hotel Dieu ; 
 everywhere the tin spires glittering. After inhaling the 
 whole grand scene, and exclaiming over it, we wind slowly 
 down again. This is the mountain where they have the 
 snow-shoe races every winter — from the city straight up 
 over it through forest and underbrush without regard to 
 paths. The distance traveled is three miles, and it has been 
 done in nineteen minutes — the time that Courtnej^ made 
 in his best boat race. The Princess Louise competed in 
 the ladies' race one winter, and made the distance in less 
 than thirty minutes, they say. It seems to be the proper 
 thing to do — to race over the mountain in the coldest of 
 weather in a pair of slippers as long as sleigh runners. 
 
 Here at the right as Ave go down is a naked scalfolding 
 twenty or thirty feet high, the top inclined, and running 
 down obliquely to the hill top which we are traversing. 
 This is the celebrated " toboggan slide," where the youths 
 of Montreal of both sexes rally every pleasant day and 
 
78 FOLKS J^EXT DOOK. 
 
 night in tlie winter. Sometimes tliere are hundreds here 
 sliding on tlieir toboggans from this sliarp artiticial hill 
 down the mountain slope into the valley below. The tobog- 
 gan, I believe, is a narrow board eight or ten feet long, 
 capable of carr}dng three or four. It must be jolly fun ; I 
 should think the boys and girls of all ages would erect 
 toboggan slides in all high latitudes where snow is a fix- 
 ture. As we drove by a little park with a monument of 
 Xelson in it, I asked what place it was. " Zhockerty 
 square," said the amiable driver. I had to ransack the 
 lists of local heroes before I came to the conclusion 
 (which proved to be correct), that he had tried to tell me 
 it was " Jacques Cartier square."' 
 
 " And this is Bosco market," he said shortly afterward, 
 and I had to have recourse to my guide book before discov- 
 ering that it was the celebrated market, Bonsecours. Tt 
 doesn't look like a market. It looks a good deal more like 
 the capitol buildings of my beloved country done in gran- 
 ite. 
 
 The loAvest rapids on the St. Lawrence are the Lachine 
 Eapids, only nine miles from Montreal — its boiling caul- 
 dron in sight from almost every street in the city. In 
 the midst of the humble cabins on shore, which form 
 the village of St. Eegis, a church lifts its tin spire, and in 
 the spire the vesper bell is ringing, as our paddle-wheels 
 stop and we wait for the deliberate and majestic Bap- 
 tiste. That bell has a bloody history. During the French 
 and English wars of the last century it was sent by the 
 Jesuits of France as a present to the new Indian converts 
 at St. Regis, and was captured by an English ship and 
 taken into Boston. There it was sold at auction and un- 
 suspectingly bought for the new Puritan church at Deer- 
 field. Two weeks later Deerfield was attacked by Indians 
 in the night, sacked, burned to the ground, forty-seven 
 white men, women and cliildrcn were tomahawked, and 
 120 fell into a more fearful ca]itivity. The boll was res- 
 cued from the sacrilege of a Protestant steeple, and some 
 
QUEBEC AND MONTREAL. 79 
 
 of the half-naked captives were compelled to help drag the 
 hell across the woods and mountains to Canada before they 
 were put to the torture and allowed to escape through the 
 merciful door of death. For 150 years now, it has called 
 the priest-led habitant to prayer, here at St. Regis, but its 
 old voice trembles over the water as if shaken with emotion 
 by a memory of woful things. 
 
 There is a great deal of fishing around here, especially 
 for salmon and trout. I have seen more fishing here than 
 1 ever saw anywhere before in my life. I haven't seen so 
 many fish as I have fishing, but that's perhaps because T 
 haven't tried. Pickerel, black bass, muskalonge weighing 
 ■15 pounds — you ought to hear the frenzied fishermen talk 
 about them. I am not an f. f. I hate fishing as a pro- 
 fession. I consider a real enthusiasm for fishing a mild 
 form of insanity. I generally let my fishing out to another 
 party, as the wise Chinese hire servants to do their dancing 
 for them. There is a sort of sport in digging potatoes, 
 because when you hunt for the potatoes you always bag 
 them; but what satisfaction there is in hunting for the 
 furtive and elusive fi.sh when you don't know within a milo 
 and a half where they are — that's a myster}^ Nokomis, 
 Hiawatha & Co. used to fish here, and they didn't see any 
 sport in it. They fished because they were hungry, and 
 would have smiled deep and long at the idea of spending 
 seven hours in the hot sun merely for fun. And they 
 might have shouted : 
 
 Yet you Yengese go a-fishing. 
 
 Seek the livel}^ fish, the Kee-go. 
 
 First, prepare the bait seductive. 
 
 Not tlie angle-vvorna, the Rig-giihl, 
 
 But tlie dragou-fl}', Kwo-iie-shee, 
 
 Or the hoppergrass, Pali-puk-icali ; 
 
 Stick it on a hook of silver, 
 
 On a pole that cost $10. 
 
 Then row out among the islands, 
 
 Througli each narrow nook and inlet 
 
 In and out around the islands, 
 
 Till your back is very weary, 
 
 And your aching hands are blistered, 
 
80 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 And your nose is skun completely. 
 
 You have seen no bass or pickerel, 
 
 King of fish, the Mishe-nahnia, 
 
 Seen no pike, the Mas-ke-no-zha, 
 
 Nary niuskalonge or dolphin, 
 
 But you've caught an eel, the Squm-squm 
 
 And the So\v-ga-sow, the Bull-head, 
 
 And you've hooked your hook incessant 
 
 Neath the flanges of the mountain, 
 
 (Thinking you a whale had captured,) 
 
 And have broke your pole to flinders. 
 
 Then, like Shaw-ga-shee, the crawfish, 
 
 You will slowly journey liomeward, 
 
 Redder than a boil-ed lobster. 
 
 Buying, as you journey liomeward, 
 
 Of the small boy, the Ne-chin-chin, 
 
 A big string of bass and pickerel 
 
 He has taken with a pin-hook. 
 
 Then you hold your head quite lofty, 
 
 Like A-goo-ma-goo, the boaster. 
 
 And you raise your Eb-e-ne-zer, 
 
 When you come to where the folks are, 
 
 And you cry, " Behold my victims ! 
 
 See the fish I caugiit this morning ! 
 
 Eighteen muskalonge and pickerel — 
 
 Caught 'em all myself tliis morning. 
 
 And the biggest one, a whopper. 
 
 Larger 'n all of these together 
 
 Got away from me and scooted ! " 
 
 All of this I see no fun in. 
 
 I would rather grasp the Hoe-hoe, 
 
 And, along the Big-Sea- Water, 
 
 Hunt the festive clam, the Qua-liaug. 
 
A PEEMIUM FOR CHILDREN. 81 
 
 A PREMIUM FOR CHILDREN". 
 
 THE POLICY OF LOUIS XIV. " GET A SUPPLY OF PEOPLE ! '^ 
 
 SHIPLOADS OF WIVES SENT FROM EUROPE. A MIXED 
 
 ASSORTMENT. EMBARRASSING TO MOTHER MARY. A 
 
 PRICE OF $G A YEAR FOR INFANTS. 
 
 The sparse population of Canada suggests that it will 
 never successfully rival the LTnitecl States unless it should 
 adopt again the heroic policy enforced by that good and 
 gorgeous monarch, Louis XIV., for populating his domin- 
 ions around Quebec in "■ ISTew France." He went further 
 in this direction than any other " immigration agent '' 
 ever did, before or since. He went so far, indeed, and 
 pursued his way so vigorously as to induce the wonder that 
 Canada is not by this time populated 500 to the square 
 mile, like Flanders or Hong Kong. If his methods of 
 multiplication had been as energetically enforced by his 
 royal successors as they were by him, there would now be 
 a populous cabin by the side of every pine tree and tama- 
 rack in the Dominion, and the rather torpid country to 
 the north of us would be a very lovely land of 100,000,000 
 people. And a dozen Canadian Pacifies would be finished 
 by this time, and there would be trains starting every hour 
 for Alaska and the Mackenzie River, Baffin's Bay and 
 Boothia Felix. A right jolly and vivacious old king 
 was Louis le Bon. 
 
 For when he saw his own young colonies planted in Can- 
 ada side l)y side with the young English colonies, starting 
 westward on tlie race of empire, and not more than 2,500 
 people in the whole of his dominion, he indignantly said 
 to his viceroy: 
 
 Q '. 
 
83 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 " Sacre ! zounds ! What are you about ? Why don't 
 you furnish people? Without people you can never sub- 
 due the Indians and build up an empire that shall honor 
 your king. Therefore get a supply of people." 
 
 And he repeated with severe emphasis the command that 
 was given to Adam concerning the third primary rule of 
 arithmetic. The poor governor-general was embarrassed. 
 lie didn't know exactly how to produce an unlimited 
 population in an inconceivably short time. King Louis 
 was equal to the emergency. He immediately discharged 
 the royal regiment' in Xew France and wrote on the dis- 
 charge papers, " Settle down and take homes and wives." 
 " Whose wives and homes shall we take ? " asked the eman- 
 cipated conscripts. " ]\Iay it please your majesty," Avrote 
 the governor-general in explanation, " the land is yours 
 and there are no single women here." 
 
 The king was a champion of the paternal government 
 theory, so he gave every soldier a home from the public do- 
 main. This was more than 200 years ago. Then he sent 
 over another regiment and disbanded that. The men 
 could not easily get home again. Then he issued a public 
 call for girls to go to New France and marry his soldiers. 
 Twenty responded at first; then fifty, and they were con- 
 signed to Mother Mary at the Quebec convent. She took 
 charge of the business of marrying them off. Mother 
 Mary occasionally found damaged goods in the cargo — 
 naturally enough, for they had come a good way, and had 
 come from France at that. One of the historians of that 
 time quaintly says: 
 
 " After the regiment of Carignon was disbanded, ships 
 were sent over freighted with girls of indifferent virtue, 
 under the direction of a few pious old duennas, who di- 
 vided them into three classes. These vestals were, so to 
 speak, piled one on another in three different halls, where 
 the bridegrooms chose their wives as a butcher chooses his 
 sheep out of the midst of the flock. There was wherewith 
 to content the most fantastical in these three harems, for 
 
A PEEMIUM FOE CHILDREN. 83 
 
 here were to be seen the tall and the short, the blonde and 
 the brown, the plump and the lean; ever^^body, in short, 
 found a shoe to fit him. At the end of a fortnight not one 
 was left. I am told that the plumpest were taken first, 
 for it was thought that, being less active, thej^ w^ould be 
 most likely to stay at home, and that they could resist the 
 winter's cold better. The marriage was concluded at once, 
 with the aid of a priest and a notary, and the next day the 
 governor-general caused the couples to be presented with 
 an ox and cow, a pair of swine, a pair of fowls, two bar- 
 rels of salted meat and eleven crowns in money." 
 
 The young ladies had the veto power, of course, and 
 " were allowed to reject suitors," the record says. They 
 were divided into three classes to match the three classes of 
 suitors — the youths who had considerable money, those 
 who had a little and those who had none. The last class 
 of young men mentioned were allowed access only to the 
 '' hall " containing the least attractive girls. The first 
 class of girls contained not only the physically attractive 
 but a few demoiselles — girls from the French middle class, 
 with some education and accomplishments. Mother Mary 
 playfully alluded to the average consignment as " mixed 
 goods," and said that the first question asked by those of 
 the girls that had come from the French alms-houses was, 
 "Have you a house and farm?" As the king generally 
 gave them a farm, and the governor-general stocked it and 
 added $13 with which to furnish the cabin that the pioneer 
 could knock together with his own axe, the question was 
 doubtless answered in the affirmative. But, alas ! The 
 king found that some of the soldiers ho liad sent over re- 
 fused to marry. " Punish the disobedient," wrote the king 
 to Frontenac. " ]\Iarry your young men off at eighteen, 
 and your girls at fifteen. If fathers neglect this, fine 
 them ! I will send over men and maidens. Do you marry 
 them off at once ! " A somewhat exacting old king was 
 Louis. But the viceroy seconded him. Orders were is- 
 sued before the coming of a shipload of beauty that 
 
8i FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 young men should marry " within a fortnight " after the 
 arrival of the prospective brides. Another order was is- 
 sued declaring that it was infamous and disgraceful not 
 to marry, and forbidding unmarried men to " hunt, fish, 
 trade with the Indians, or go into the woods under any 
 pretense whatever ! " This was rather rough on old bache- 
 lors. There was no penalty on old maids, and it is rather 
 startling to notice that it was assumed that every womaii 
 would marry almost any stranger off-hand, if she could 
 only get a chance. Indeed, the result seems to have justi- 
 fied the conclusion. The fines and disabilities worked lo 
 a charm. " No sooner," wrote Mother Mary, " have the 
 vessels arrived than the young men go to get wives, and 
 by reason of the great number, they are married in thirties 
 at a time.'' 
 
 Hymen was put nnder whip and spur, but it does not 
 appear that Cupid materially increased his gait, for the 
 intendant presently wrote to the king that " a good num- 
 ber of our newly-married are already unfaithful, and our 
 population does not increase as it should."' To the report 
 of infidelity Louis the Good was indifferent, but the last 
 clause of the intendant's letter enraged him. " Make it 
 disgraceful not to have children ! " said the King to his 
 premier; "fine 'em!" It was not clear how this penalty 
 could be made effective, so he changed his tactics from a 
 fine to a prize. He immediately passed, in council, the 
 decree that 
 
 " In future all inhal)itants of the said country of Canada 
 who shall have living children to the number of ten, born 
 in lawful wedlock, shall each be paid out of the moneys 
 sent by His Majesty to the said country a pension of 300 
 livres a year, all those who shall have twelve children a 
 pension of 400 livres. To this effect they (all husbands) 
 shall be required to declare the number of their children 
 every year in the luonlhs of June and July to the intendant 
 of justice, police and finance, established in the said coun- 
 try, who, having verified the same, shall order the payment 
 
A PEEMIUM FOR CHILDRE^^. 85 
 
 of said pensions, one-half in cash and the other half at the 
 end of each year." 
 
 This novel industry was more profitahle than hunting 
 Indians ; for $58 a year for ten children and $75 for 
 twelve children, was better than six shillings apiece for 
 Iroquois scalps. The result was that in a population of 
 4>000 there were 700 babes born every year ! Louis was, 
 in fact, as well as in name, "the father of IsTew France," 
 for the robust settler was found by the king, sent over by 
 the king, turned into a farmer by the king, supplied by 
 the king with a wife, a farm, food for six months, and 
 sometimes with a house and furniture, and insured in his 
 old age with an endowment policy, depending not on his 
 health, or his savings, or his crops, but solely on the num- 
 ber of children he could succeed in raising alive. The plan 
 seemed likely to prevent " race suicide " — the terror, if 
 not the peril, of later times. 
 
 Obviously Canada should have been the most populous 
 country in the world, thus defying Malthus and the proph- 
 ets: the trouble was, I think, that Louis XIV. died before 
 the Indians did. 
 
8G FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 LAST DAYS IN CANADA. 
 
 JO BEEF AND HIS BE^TEVOLENT MISSION. — A UNIQUE ES- 
 TABLISHMENT. PHYSICAL AND SPIRITUAL COjMFORT. 
 
 SIR PETER MITCHELL AND THE PREMIER. HOW THE 
 
 WIDOW jMURPHY's cow GOT PAID FOR. HOMEWARD 
 
 BOUND. 
 
 " Jo Beef '' is one of the notabilities of tliis "' northern 
 capital."' His name isn't Beef, any more than Montreal 
 is the northern capital, and I don't know that it is even 
 Jo, but everybody calls him Jo Beef. He is a leader and 
 has his partisans by the ten thousand, who are very proud 
 of him, and who pronounce his brief name with an orotund 
 accent, as they would speak that of the Marquis of Lome, 
 or Gen. Wolseley. Jo Beef owns and keeps an enormous 
 four-story stone building down on the revetment along 
 the river front, and there he caters to the manifold wants 
 of the sailors and stevedores. He boasts that he furnishes 
 everything that his patrons want at the lowest possible 
 price. 
 
 I looked into this unique philanthropic establishment 
 one morning. There is, I am satisfied, nothing else like 
 it in the world. The first floor is a l)ar of original pat- 
 tern; the second floor is a 10-cent restaurant; and on the 
 third and fourth floors are lodging-rooms where the toilers 
 of the sea can sleep for 10 cents a night; while under 
 the whole concern, in a deep cellar, is an iron cage in which 
 Jo locks up his customers wdien they become drunk and 
 disorderly. '' I won't have any policemen around my 
 place," says he ; " I'm my own police, judge and jury, and 
 I keeps my own jail and meetin'-house." I forgot to say 
 
LAST DAYS IX CANADA. 87 
 
 that he sees that the spirituous and spiritual wants of the 
 longshoremen are both properl}^ ministered to, — but of 
 that further on. 
 
 The bar-room runs clear across one side of the building. 
 and behind the bar is gaudy and fantastic decoration in 
 the shape of relics and souvenirs from every quarter of the 
 globe — whales' teeth, elephants' tusks, idols from Mexico 
 and Java, tom-toms from China and spears from South 
 Africa. Up behind the bar is a row of human skulls 
 which he declares are the remaining upper portions of his 
 deceased relatives, and in a closet near by hangs a skele- 
 ton which he solemnly exhibits and speaks of in a low 
 voice as that of his " dear grandmother." On one end of 
 the bar lies always a quarter of beef — raw beef — with a 
 very old cheese lying by it, and a knife with which tbe vis- 
 itor is expected to saw off a piece of each and eat it. I 
 didn't eat any of the raw beef ; it looked a little too ghastly. 
 This apparently gave the caterer his popular name. 
 
 Just off the bar room is the spacious concert hall, al- 
 ways open to Jo Beef's patrons. There is every weekday 
 evening a free- concert by some broken down musicians 
 whom he keeps around, and sometimes clog dances, min- 
 strels, etc. ; and on Sunday evening there is always preach- 
 ing and Jo induces his followers to go and listen and be- 
 have themselves. The preaching is Avell attended, the con- 
 certs are popular, but the iron cage in the cellar is re- 
 garded by his customers as the most useful and kindly of 
 all Jo Beef's auxiliary institutions, for it kee}is tbem out 
 of the public lockup and saves them tlie disgrace and the 
 $10 fine. Some of Mr. Beef's most enthusiastic champions 
 — ready to fight for him anytime — are the men whom he 
 has seized when drunk, dragged to his dungeon and left 
 there to sober up. 
 
 " Our hero " is not by any means a formidable-looking 
 man. He is not a bruiser, and rules by the law of kind- 
 ness. But he is prepared for emergencies, and he keeps 
 a bear-pit under the concert room, containing three or 
 
88 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 four savage bears; and it is related tliat, during a fight 
 in the bar-room which he was unable to quell, he led into 
 the bar-room one of those bears in each hand and there was 
 the liveliest getting out of window ever seen in Montreal. 
 Then he lectured the roughs over their foolishness and 
 invited them to gather around the mouth of the pit and 
 see the bears sit up and drink milk out of bottles and toss 
 the empt}' bottles to him. 
 
 The two upper floors that serve as dormitories are cut 
 up into small rooms, which are inexpensively furnished 
 with sawdust on the floor and wooden benches running 
 around the four sides — each bench covered with a long 
 cushion and holding one dime lodger. There is only one 
 luxury indulged in here — a luxury rarely found in such 
 a place — cleanliness. By various devices these rooms are 
 kept clean and wholesome. If an applicant is very un- 
 clean Mr. Beef says : " Git out and go to some common 
 place; you can't lodge here." Jo is a kind of public insti- 
 tution. He advises the working classes in all their 
 troubles; is their counsel in strikes; and goes their bail 
 when they get in quod. Moreover, he is charitable. He 
 contributes to the hospitals, and in a recent time of need 
 he gave 3,000 loaves of bread to men out of Avork. A 
 strange and grotesque character is Mr. Joseph Beef — like 
 the aforetime Barnum's menagerie, he is " a grand, bril- 
 liant, combined aggregation " all by himself. 
 
 In Montreal I heard a good story of Sir Peter Mitchell, 
 member of parliament for New Brunswick. He was an 
 opposition member during the lamentable government of 
 Sir Alexander Mackenzie, in the last decade, and was a 
 most constant and uncomfortable thorn in the side of that 
 unhappy premier. Sir Alexander was conspicuous as a 
 railroad magnate, and, just before the opening of parlia- 
 ment one winter. Sir Peter called on him to induce him to 
 pay $40 for a cow of the widow Bridafet ]\Iurphy, that had 
 been run over by the cars. " I don't believe there's any- 
 thing in it ! " exclaimed the premier peremptorily ; " it's 
 
LAST DAYS IN CAXADA. 89 
 
 probabl}' a trumped up case, but I'll inquire, and you can 
 call to-morrow." 
 
 The gentleman from New Brunswick was not used to be- 
 ing treated so cavalierly, but he pocketed it, and called 
 in the morning. 
 
 " There's no justice in it ; we won't pay for the cow," 
 broke in Sir Alexander. 
 
 "You won't, won't you?" rejoined Sir Peter, with a 
 manner quite as bouncing as that of the leader of the Gov- 
 ernment. " Have you been there or sent there and investi- 
 gated it ? " 
 
 " No, I haven't, but I have inquired and I won't pay for 
 the cow. It's a mere trifle, and she ought to have kept it 
 off the track." 
 
 " Don't the law say you shall have a fence ? " 
 
 " I won't pay for the cow, now, and that's all the answer 
 you'll get ! " 
 
 " Y^'ou won't pay for the widow Murphy's cow, won't you ? 
 Sir Alexander Mackenzie, I'll make you pay for it ! '' ex- 
 claimed Sir Peter, now thoroughly aroused. 
 
 " You will ? you will ? How will you ? " growled the pre- 
 mier. 
 
 " I'll take it out of you during this very session, as sure 
 as you're a living man ! The widow's $40 isn't anything, 
 isn't it? I'll take it out of you!" 
 
 It was an Irishman against a Scotchman, and both were 
 angry. The sequel proved that Sir Peter " took it out of 
 him," very thoroughly. He is a round-headed man, a hard- 
 worker, a pugnacious and redoubtable foe, an unforgiving 
 enemy, bold and eloquent in debate, no dilettant, but a 
 hard hitter, and some of his onslaughts were furious. If 
 he has not great tact he has great force, and he never forgot 
 the cow. In the speeches he made every day against the 
 measures and methods of the government, then under se- 
 rious suspicion, he told the story of the widow Murphy's 
 cow, and trotted her out with a frequency that must have 
 seemed like crueltv to animals, and alwavs caused a laugh. 
 
90 FOLKS NEXT DOOK. 
 
 Finall}' the last day of the session dawned, and the con- 
 sideration of Mackenzie's expense budget was resumed. It 
 provided the ai3propria lions for the coming year. 
 
 Sir Peter Mitchell took the floor and launched into a 
 eulogy of the deceased cow and the propriety of making 
 an appropriation for the widow Murphy. He was greeted 
 with laughter and mock applause, and then his auditors 
 waited uneasily for him to finish. He did not finish. He 
 told the story over again, with embellishments and elabora- 
 tions. He contrasted the stinginess of the wealthy ruler 
 with the qniet endurance of the penniless widow. He be- 
 gan to read from the Bil:»le the commands to mercy, jus- 
 tice and charity, when the honorable members straggled 
 out one by one to dinner. Sir Peter bit a biscuit, drank a 
 swallow of water and continued, impressing upon the 
 empty chairs about him the tender duties and graces of 
 humanity. Members straggled in again. He repeated the 
 Song of the Shirt. He quoted, " I would not number on 
 my list of friends," etc., and recited the whole of Hart- 
 leap Well from Wordsworth, about " blending our pleasure 
 or our pride with sorrow of the meanest thing that feels." 
 Members appealed to him to draw his remarks to a close. 
 He retold the story of the cow and went into the physiology 
 and the osteology of the genus Bos. Meantime Sir Alex- 
 ander Mackenzie was perspiring with wrath and anxiety in 
 the premier's apartment hard by. iVU his hopes were 
 bound up in the Appropriation Budget. What if it should 
 not come to a vote ! 
 
 The honorable meml)er from New Brunswick could not 
 be stopped, for this was the one bill in a Canadian parlia- 
 ment on which a member could speak as long as he wished. 
 There was no way of cutting short the debate. No mo- 
 tion was in order while he was speaking except the motion 
 to adjourn — and that would be adjournment sine die. The 
 government members were in consternation as the orator 
 began an elaborate oration on the blessings of vaccination, 
 explaining " the unexampled services of James Phipps in 
 
LAST DAYS IN CANADA. 91 
 
 spreading a knowledge of the m^^sterious prophylactic," 
 eulogizing the heroism of Edward Jenner, Mary Wortley 
 Montagu, and Caroline, Princess of Wales, and ending 
 that branch of his subject with a fervid outburst. " It 
 thrills the heart to reflect that perchance the variolus pus- 
 tule whose mystic virtues have revolutionized therapeutics 
 and saved 'millions of lives, was contributed to afflicted 
 humanity by a humble ancestress of Mary Murphy's cow."' 
 This was received with a shriek of rage by the government 
 benches, b^Tt Sir Peter accepted the attention as so much 
 applause. He then looked at the clock and presented some 
 valuable statistics on the cost of fences in the United States 
 and enlarged on the methods of hobl)ling cows in Eussia, on 
 the various uses of cows' horns and hoofs, on the immense 
 su23eriority for draught jDurposes of Devon cattle, to which 
 class the deceased domestic friend of the bereaved widow 
 Murphy belonged, and on the activity of the cow in ancient 
 times and lands where in juvenile mythology, she is al- 
 leged to have vaulted even higher than our principal noc- 
 turnal luminary, and then began to describe the religious 
 ceremonies in which the sacred cow of Burmah takes part, 
 when the bell rang for vespers. A short time more and the 
 session would expire by law, and the government had 
 passed no appropriation bill ! 
 
 At this critical juncture one of the government memliors 
 returned excitedly from the premier's room, rushed to the 
 orator's desk and exclaimed : '" In the name of God, what 
 ails you, Mitchell? What do you want?" "—and still," 
 said Sir Peter, finishing the sentence he had on his lips, 
 " not a cent has ever 1)een paid for the Avidow Murphy's 
 cow ! " The member uttered a vehement exclamation alwut 
 tliat aniinal, and added, '" Sir Alexander Mackenzie au- 
 thorizes me to say that he will pay for the cow if you'll 
 let this bill come to a vote." 
 
 Sir Peter sat down, rather tired, and the widow got her 
 pay. The government organs declared Ihat tlic widow's 
 cow had cost $40,000. Her champion came to be known 
 
92 ' FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 in Canada as Bismarck Mitchell, on account of his boldness 
 and shrewdness in outwitting a cabinet and making him- 
 self long the adviser in cliief of a vacillating governor. 
 
 In a few days we took a train southward. If we had 
 been good-sized octopods we certainly should have hugged 
 the yacht when we met her at Portland and returned to 
 the shelter of her hospitality from the wilds of Canada. 
 Not being octopods, literal embracing was out of the ques- 
 tion, but we gathered around the piano and sang for the 
 first time the following song, which one of the homesick 
 party had written during our exile. It went to the air of 
 '' Lauriger Horatius : " 
 
 Falcon fair of pinion free, 
 Bird of flight undaunted, 
 
 By the singing of the sea 
 Be her praises chanted. 
 
 Chorus — 
 
 As slie mounts the wave and flings 
 
 Foamy fountains from her. 
 We, beneath her drowsy wings 
 
 Dream away the summer. 
 
 Drifting on from day to day, 
 Past the purple highlands, 
 
 Through the shadow-liaunted bay. 
 Round the shining islands. 
 
 Chorus — As she mounts the wave, etc. 
 
 Far away from eager crowds. 
 And the land's commotion. 
 
 Dancing with the dancing clouds 
 O'er the azure ocean. 
 
 Chorus — As she mounts the wave, etc. 
 
 Morning sends her rosy rays 
 O'er the water streaming, 
 
 So the golden summer days 
 Glide away in dreaming. 
 
 Chorus — 
 
 As she mounts the wave and flings 
 
 Foamy fountains from her. 
 We, beneath her drowsy wings. 
 
 Dream awMv the summer. 
 
LAST DAYS IN CANADA. 93 
 
 This was pealed forth with great enthusiasm. We all 
 sang, regardless of the minor question whether we could 
 sing. There was a good deal of noise. I wish you had been 
 within a mile or two, so that you could have enjoyed our 
 vocal fervency toned down by distance. Then Ave sang 
 it all over again. Then we went and sat in the steamer- 
 chairs on deck and conversed more or less, and asked one 
 another if it Avas not almost dinner-time. Before leaving 
 the yacht at the wharf in Brooklyn we had sung the song 
 a good many times and we all agreed before dispersing that 
 there Avas no other way in Avhich a hot summer could be 
 so delightfully beguiled. And Ave Avould meet again. 
 
9J: FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 FOLKS IX MID-OCEAK 
 
 INCIDENTS OF A VOYAGE TO THE " VEXED BERMOOTHES." — 
 A TRIP TO THE ISLANDS OF THE ATLANTIC, WHERE PEO- 
 PLE GO TO GET AVARM WEATHER IN WINTER. — ROUGH EX- 
 PERIENCES AT SEA. — THE ISLANDS AND THEIR INHABI- 
 TANTS.^EFFECTS OF A TROPICAL CLIMATE. — CPIARAC- 
 TERISTICS OF THE PEOPLE. — AN INCIDENT OF OUR REVO- 
 LUTION. — PECULIARITIES OF BERMUDA AS A PIEALTH RE- 
 SORT. — BERMUDA OFFICIALS. — A LITTLE CORAL AVORLD OF 
 MAGNIFICENT PRETENSIONS. 
 
 I AM adrift on a great green ship in the middle of the 
 Atlantic, a thousand miles from solid land, her sharp prow 
 standing northeast and splitting a keen blast that left 
 the gates of the Baltic Sea yesterday morning. A thou- 
 sand cannon are trained along her sides, and over tliem 
 float a forest of British flags. Regiments in scarlet jackets 
 pace her decks and there are more than 11,000 passengers 
 beside — two-thirds of them )3lacks and perhaps a thousand 
 of them Americans. The Baltic blast, heated l)y travel, 
 breathes softly along the decks and through the cabins; 
 and everywhere roses blossom in gorgeous abundance, and 
 fruity vines cling, and ripe oranges tempt the hand, and 
 tropical birds sing among the palms. The name of the 
 great green ship is '' The Bermuda." The passengers call 
 themselves inhabitants, and the big verdant vessel they 
 speak of as an island, merely because it is staunch and 
 seaworthy, and doesn't seem to be going anywhere in par- 
 ticular; but it is a very little speck in the tremendous 
 ocean, and I am of the opinion that it is dragging its 
 anchor and slowly drifting to and fro in the deep. 
 
FOLKS IN MID-OCEAN. 95 
 
 It was the first of March that a friend in New York 
 asked me to go to Bermuda with him for a short trip. " No, 
 thanks," I said, '• it's too all-fired cold up there I'Ot. When 
 it gets warmer I'll go." He kindly explained that it wasn't 
 " up " at all ; that instead of being near Lal)rador, it was 
 an island in the Atlantic, 1,000 miles off Charleston ; and 
 that it was " just the riffle " to go in the winter or early 
 spring. '"' You'll get green peas there," he continued ; 
 '" and ripe tomatoes and new potatoes ready for the table, 
 and oranges and bananas hanging right beside your win- 
 dow, and loquottes and strawberries, and peaches, and — " 
 
 It had been the coldest winter since Joyce Heth was a 
 baby. Another belated lilizzard had bored through the 
 Rocky mountains and was overdue at the sea coast. Young- 
 sports were organizing a race with ice-yachts on the Hud- 
 son. It was exactly the time for disappearing. 
 
 " I'll go ! " I exclaimed, " I'll go ! " And I telephoned 
 to the steamship company for a stateroom for myself and 
 wife. So Ave three came. What sort of passage did we 
 have? Well, it was a passage in the book of life which I 
 would willingly see blotted out forever. We had taken 
 rooms on a good vessel — a trim, taut, gallant ship fore and 
 aft, from the capstan l)ar to the lee scuppers ; and yet, 
 somehow, I do not feel enthusiastic over the trip out. The 
 gulf stream, which the Portuguese called the " Devil's 
 Basin," was not smooth by a good deal ; it was as unstable 
 as his property usually is; and only the ultimate Bermudan 
 lieaven enabled me to endure the horrors of the Gulf 
 Stream purgatory. I felt as if I had lieen threshed in a 
 threshing machine and brayed in a mortar. 
 
 If sea-sickness is "'good for people," as I have so often 
 heard, the hurricane-ridden water between New York and 
 Bermuda is the healthiest spot in the woi'ld. The Atlantic 
 was dreadfully " rocky " and tlu> \v:iy was rough. If any 
 of my companions of tliat Friday niglit, after being ferried 
 over the Styx, sliould fetch up in the land which preachers 
 warn us to avoid, he will look around uneasilv and sav 
 
9G FOLKS NEXT DOOK. 
 
 '' All, here we are again ! "' During the last twelve 
 hours at sea it kept getting warmer and warmer, till over- 
 coats and all sorts of wraps became a burden, and our 
 flannels seemed a delusion and a snare. The sun shone 
 hot; the winds blew warm; the Gulf Stream lapsed away 
 to westward; strange birds and floating things were seen, 
 and off at the east crept above the water the rounded hills 
 of blue, which the captain said were the Bermudas. 
 
 The Bermudas are a nest of white rocks. So ragged 
 and fragmentary are they that the entire surface above 
 water is not greater than four miles square, and not more 
 than one-fifth of the whole is subject to tillage. After 
 arriving within the group the steamer winds in and out 
 and round about in crazy fashion — twelve miles east, 
 then ten miles west, then four miles east again, till it 
 reaches the middle of the lobster-shaped labyrinth, where 
 the town of Hamilton, the capital and chief sea-port, strag- 
 gles over the undulations. 
 
 The approach is picturesque. In the offing innumerable 
 coral reefs jut above the water in a long, irregular curve, 
 flinging the spray high in the sunshine; ashore, the houses 
 gleam among the palms — the palms tall and tattered and 
 feathery-topped, the houses as white as the snow huts of 
 the Eskimo. The Avater is of that delicate greenish blue 
 which excites the wonder of the traveler, like that which 
 sparkles around Capri and under the Blue Grotto, and 
 lights up the Bay of Naples. 
 
 At last our ship finds rest within forty feet of the white 
 stone wharf. Tt is an exciting event to the Bermudans 
 — evidently the event of the week — the one waking up 
 from the Bermuda sleep. Down they come pouring from 
 the hills; out they come swarming from the houses; along 
 the various roads they come afoot, and in carriages, and 
 on donke3'-back, all centering at the wharf. How to get 
 ashore is the puzzle of tbe passengers. Presently a long 
 timber is slid out from the wharf over the chasm between; 
 a wooden twin is pushed out parallel with it, derrick 
 
FOLKS IN MID-OCEAN. 97 
 
 ropes hanging from the yards are hitched to them, and, 
 after a quarter of an hour of wheedling, their ends are 
 cautiously lifted into the gangway. Then two black fel- 
 lows — very black and very slow fellows — get astride the 
 long timbers and slowly and timidly hitch towards the ship. 
 Each one bears in his hand the end of a rope, the lower 
 end of which is tied to the end of a plank which is thus 
 borne out horizontally beneath the great l)eams. They stop 
 to rest. They pant for breath. The ship waits. On again 
 they hitch. A little boy shouts to them not to fall. They 
 scorn him. They are now within twenty feet of the ship. 
 They pause again. They calmly take off their hats and fan 
 themselves, and look around at the assembled thousands. 
 The boiler blows off steam. The heroes pant and start 
 again. On and ever on! Excelsior! A^il desperandum! 
 Do not give up ! No, never ! They cling tighter around 
 the timbers and hitch along till they have crossed the 
 awful abyss and have got within five feet of the gangway ! 
 Here they pause, fan themselves again, rest awhile and 
 then tie the ropes around the timbers, leaving the plank 
 suspended underneath. Aha ! victory ! Then two others 
 hitch out with anotlier plank, and two more with another, 
 till a dozen cross-girders have been arranged, and on these 
 many planks have been slowly brought and slowly 
 tied. 
 
 I asked a merchant why so much time was spent in this. 
 " Oh," he said, " the people like it. This is the only 
 amusement they ever have. It wouldn't do to shorten it."' 
 I don't know just how many spectators there were of the 
 languid entertainment; probably there were about 12,000, 
 as that is the population of the island. The natives hcn-e 
 are not lazy, they are merely sluggish — born tired. Pass- 
 ing along one of the crooked roads you will notice a high, 
 white wall, with an irregular row of white statues on top 
 of it. You will in(|uire: " Is that native sculpture?" and 
 a citizen will say: " Oh, no; those are laboring men; they 
 are ])uilding that wall."' By standing there awhile you 
 7 
 
98 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 Avill notice that its growth is like the growth of the coral 
 reefs in the harbor — imperceptible to the eye. 
 
 Bermuda is virtually, but not technically, in the tropics ; 
 just within the temperate zone, it is yet subject to all the 
 balmy influences of eternal summer. In these islands 
 there is never any cold weather. Fruits ripen the year 
 round. Every week in every month the peasants are plant- 
 ing; every day they are harvesting. Opposite my window 
 at the hotel they are digging potatoes; opposite the other 
 porch they are planting them. Peas are ripening always; 
 roses always hanging on the wall; onions always distil- 
 ling their fragrance. This last is important ; for the onion 
 is the test and measure of all the interests of the island. 
 It is the badge of the local aristocracy^ It is the chief 
 commercial product. Excepting potatoes, indeed, it is 
 about the only staple. Ships often go laden with onions. 
 The onion is a loud-smelling plant; but there is a Bermu- 
 dan offset to it — the Easter lily. This queen of odorous 
 flowers grows here all the year round in the open air and 
 attains a majesty and fragrance unknown elscAvhere in the 
 world. 
 
 We are on a coral reef nine hundred miles from Xew 
 York, in the midst of eternal summer. The air is l)land and 
 warm. The harl)or is liquid turquoise. Birds sing in the 
 palm trees. Everywhere tropical fruits grow. Ladies and 
 gentlemen in cool linen and lawn and straw hats saunter 
 down the street. This is Bermuda — three days from the 
 ice-yacht race. There is nothing in the United States with 
 which I can compare these midget islands. A man who 
 counted them tells me that there are exactly 365 of them, 
 wliich shows that leap year has l)een mysteriously omitted. 
 Many of them are no bigger than a dining table. Lumped 
 all together, they might make a spot aliout as large as the 
 city of Washington. Xothing is visible anywhere but car- 
 bonate of lime — no clay, no sand, no drift, no rocks — not 
 a stone anywhere of any sort except the white carpentry 
 of the coral. The soil is inilverized coral, with the thin 
 
 •MlJ 
 
FOLKS IN MID-OCEAN. 
 
 99 
 
 skin of vegetable mould which two centuries of tillage have 
 conferred. It is naturally about the most barren spot in 
 the Avorld. Originally there were no fruits here, no vege- 
 taliles, and no liowers. There were no animals, not even a 
 frog or a snake ; there were no birds, not even a bat. No 
 wonder the Portuguese discoverers gave it bad names, for 
 it was a hard spot. A navigator in 1607 called it " Devil's 
 Island. " They were almost always cold and hungry in 
 those ancient days, and they charged everything to the 
 devil. But they were certainly right in assigning the Gulf 
 Stream to him. He superintends it yet. 
 
 The touch of culture has converted this diabolical reef 
 into a charming winter resort and the barren whiteness 
 into a blooming garden. A^egetables mature best in win- 
 ter, but two or three ctoj)s can be raised in a year. To- 
 matoes, beets, peas, beans, turnips, etc., are grown here and 
 marketed in New York during the winter months. Yet 
 almost everything that is eaten here comes from New York 
 — flour, meat of every sort, poultry, butter, eggs, cheese 
 and even milk selling for al:)0ut double the New York 
 prices. Notwithstanding this, tourists can live for about 
 the same here as at any of our Northern resorts — $2 to 
 $5 a day. 
 
 I bask in winter sunshine — sunshine and zephyrs, nei- 
 ther too warm nor too cool. The thermometer stands at 
 about 70 degrees all the while ; the mercury seems paralyzed 
 in the tube, and a balmy breath suspires across the town of 
 Hamilton and whisks along the drowsy corridors. The 
 waiters at the hotels are vacation-taking schoolma'ams from 
 New England, and it is comfortable to see them slipping 
 quietly around in cool apparel — lawn dresses and tennis 
 shoes. 
 
 All flowers bloom in wild luxuriance from September to 
 ]\Iay, but begin to languish before the summer solstice ; all 
 fruits ripen during the same season, and, as I write, masses 
 of oranges and lemons still cling golden to the shining 
 branches outside mv window ; fio- trees, still in bearinsr. 
 
 r mC 
 
100 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 nebtle in the angles of the wall, and the superb loquotte 
 tree, prince of native vegetation, offers to the hand of 
 the newly arrived tourist its great yellow plums. 
 
 This is the place to rest. The soft, humid atmosphere 
 induces languor. The natives of these islands never walk 
 if they can ride; never stand if they can sit; never sit if 
 they can lie down. It was a Mugian whose watch ran 
 down while he was winding it up. For the first few days 
 this sluggishness is dreadfully tr}dng to a live Yankee. It 
 irritates him beyond bearing. He orders a horse and 
 carriage, and it is an hour in coming; he misses his ap- 
 pointment. He is exasperated. He orders a boat to visit 
 Fairyland coves, and it comes at last, too late for the tide. 
 He imprecates. But as the days pass by his irritation 
 grows less and less at each disapjDointment At the end 
 of a week he isn't very particular whether the vehicle comes 
 at all or not. At the end of a fortnight he has been vac- 
 cinated with the laziness of the tropics, and when the boat- 
 man makes his appearance, an hour behind time, he says, 
 "Well, what's your hurry? What are you rushing so for? 
 You will kill me yet dragging me around so." At the end 
 of the three weeks, he forgets all about the appointment, 
 and the boatman finds him asleep in his rocking-chair 
 leaning against the side of the house. He has learned to 
 bid farewell to every care, and to worship Morpheus in this 
 verdant and floral Chapel of Ease in the Atlantic. 
 
 To an American nothing could well seem more thor- 
 oughly foreign than Bermuda. The tropical trees, fruit- 
 ing at all seasons; the perennial flowers ol' nil gorgeous 
 varieties; the narrow, deep cut, winding roads; the build- 
 ings, solid, square and low, flashing white as snow amid 
 the trees, all remind one of Mexico or Spain, or Al- 
 giers, or lower Italy, or Greece. One cannot help expecting 
 to be addressed in tlie soft language of the ^lediterranean ; 
 he thinks the boatmen may salute him in the melting Cas- 
 tilian of the black barcalier of Havana. On the contrary, 
 he hears nothing anywhere but Euolish ; sees nothins; l)ut 
 
FOLKS IN MID-OCEAN. 101 
 
 English manners — the imitation somewhat exaggerated, of 
 course, as is the way of neophytes and colonists. Yan- 
 kees keep the hotels; and very good hotels they are, in- 
 deed. English preferences are so strong on the islands 
 that no French appears on the bill of fare. It is not a 
 " menu," and it offers no " potages," or " huitres," or " en- 
 trees." If the cook makes some pate de foie gras, he re- 
 cords it as plain " goose-liver patties." 
 
 Another contrast is pleasantly noticeable here. There 
 are no beggars. There must be people on some of these 
 islands who have less money than they could use to ad- 
 vantage, but the tourist never discovers their identity, 
 unless he guesses it from the plainness of their garb. There 
 are hardly any very rich peojDle here, but there is a high 
 average of comfort. 
 
 More than half the heads of families own the houses 
 they live in. This is not difficult to account for. In 
 the first place, every man owns a quarry, and it extends 
 all over his place, or, rather, all under it. And any man 
 can build him a handsome house if he owns or can borrow 
 a handsaw. Into the ground anywhere he saws, as he 
 would cut into a cheese, and out of it he lifts the cubes 
 of spongy and plastic stone, dazzling white, a foot or tvro 
 square, and lays them up in the sun to dry and harden. 
 When he has taken out enough of these spotless blocks, 
 he cements up the sides of the hole he has excavated, to 
 keep the water out ; and, presto ! it is a cellar, and around 
 and over it he builds his white dwelling, block on block. 
 Every darkey on this island dwells in a marble hall, and 
 everywhere these shine, white and dazzling. He plants 
 banana trees at the gate, and from them he picks rich 
 fruit every day in the year. If he have a couple of acres 
 of land he can raise two or three annual crops of potatoes, 
 onions and other vegetables, and he and his family are 
 fed. Clothing is regarded as a mere luxury — a textile 
 tub to the conventional whale. Tourists and soldiers 
 spend a good deal of money here — three or four hundred 
 
102 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 thousand dollars a year, in all. So nobod}' is wretchedly 
 poor. There are some traces of the breed of Caliban, but 
 more evidences that the tricksy sprite Ariel actually 
 did visit the " still-vext Bormoothes " as the poet tells 
 us. 
 
 In our Eevolution, Bermuda lent us a valuable hand. 
 In 1775, George Washington, commanding before Boston, 
 made the important discovery that the army was out of 
 ammunition, and that without it even the most experienced 
 cannon lost much of their effectiveness. In this extremity 
 he wrote a cunning letter to the Bermudans, setting forth 
 that there was a big magazine of powder on one of their 
 islands, under a very feeble guard, and if they would 
 kindly look the other way for a few moments he would 
 gather it in. The Bermudans had not yet begun to grow 
 onions, but they wept when they read the request, and 
 succeeded in amusing and diverting the garrison till Wash- 
 ington's sea captain rushed into the magazine, seized the 
 powder and loaded it on board his ships. It was carried 
 triumphantly to Boston, and this very supply enabled 
 Washington to win those advantages which compelled Lord 
 Howe to evacuate Boston and flee to Halifax within two 
 months. 
 
 At a later day, Bermuda again became interested in 
 American affairs. At the breaking out of the rebellion of 
 1861 a new industry Avas developed, known as "run- 
 ning the blockade." Ammunition and other things needed 
 in the South were brought here in English steamers, then 
 transferred to swift privateers, which took them to 
 Charleston, Savannah and all along shore, where they 
 were exchanged for cotton, and shot back again. A good 
 many were captured l)ut enough escaped to make the Inisi- 
 ness very lucrative. Single ships made great fortunes, and 
 common sailors became opulent. Never before or since 
 was so mucli money spent on these islands. j\Ierehants 
 put their profits in the banks and grew to be millionaires. 
 Suddenly the little affair at Appomattox occurred. Then 
 
FOLKS IN MID-OCEAK 103 
 
 the merchants who had invested in Confederate money 
 and Confederate bonds, and the extravagant shipowners, 
 suddenly collapsed. The bubble of their wealth was punc- 
 tured by the sword of Grant. When the once-rich Ber- 
 mudan now goes to church — everybody belongs to the 
 Church of England — and prays to be delivered " from the 
 crafts and assaults of the devil," he always thinks bitterly 
 of Gen. Grant. 
 
 In no other part of the world, I think, did nature show 
 such supreme niggardliness as here. She gave the Ber- 
 mudas neither soil nor water. She simply conferred the 
 most delightful weather under the canopy and then stood 
 off and said: "'Such weather as that is a bountiful outfit 
 if you don't get another thing." So it has proved. To 
 the prize weather all other things have been added by vis- 
 itors. The only wild animals known here are the rat and 
 the mouse, brought by vessels, the casual and oleaginous 
 whale, and the bat that has flown across the Atlantic by 
 accident. There is no game whatever, and never has 
 been. Of l3irds, the splendid cardinal of the tropics is 
 here. The blue robin of New England is here, piping 
 as bravely as ever. The cat bird has put in an appearance, 
 and so has that even greater nuisance, the English spar- 
 row, pirate of the winged world. Two Spanish birds, the 
 " chick of the village " and the pretty ground dove, move 
 quietly about. And that is all. Not a native bird among 
 them I 
 
 This island is as white as so much chalk, and about as 
 barren. Water soaks into it like a sponge, and in five 
 minutes after a sharp shower one can go out walking and 
 find neither mud nor moisture anywhere. On some low 
 lands this comminuted coral, with the mixture of ele- 
 ments it has taken up, is not as hard as elsewhere, and 
 here it is occasionally cultivated, by the admixture with 
 the soil of a large quantity of fertilizers from America. 
 It can absorb unlimited cargoes of these stimulants with- 
 out having its impulses much stirred by them. Tickle this 
 
lOi FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 coral reef with a hoe ever so vigorously, it never laughs 
 with a harvest; and after 3'ou have poured into it oceans 
 of poudrette, and dosed it with loam, and bound poultices 
 of warm guano upon its stomach, it only smiles a faint 
 and ghastly smile. But under these circumstances, pota- 
 toes, onions, tomatoes and lily bulbs are planted, and 
 if they can clasp a rootlet around anything softer than 
 a cast-iron stove-lid, they grow. Some things grow in a 
 warm climate without much encouragement. I saw here 
 a tamarind tree as large as a full-grown New England 
 elm that had been torn up by a hurricane long ago and 
 stood on its very top, its roots pointing toward the sky. 
 The branches that stuck into the ground put forth roots 
 and gave the wreck a new anchorage, while the up-turned 
 roots reverted and sent forth new limbs, and a dense mass 
 of foliage now shades the ground and invites the still 
 faithful giant to forget its disaster. 
 
 There is no fresh water on the island, except what comes 
 direct from the clouds. The sky is the cistern of Ber- 
 muda. The houses are all built of the coral that is quar- 
 ried in l^eautiful white cubes from the ground anywhere 
 seeming fit for the sculptor's chisel ; then every house is 
 topped with a slant roof of the same, and furnished with 
 abundant tanks. In these the rain is gathered; and the 
 tanks are so very clean, and the roof is so very white, and 
 the air is so very free from dust, that the water is the 
 purest in the world — pellucid as if drawn froui the choic- 
 est mountain spring. I never saw such delicious water 
 anywhere. Nature knew what she was about wlien she 
 omitted the Bermudan springs. So essential is tliis sup- 
 ply to the life and healtli of the island that there is a law 
 that every building shall have so many square feet of 
 " working " roof. Local pride does the rest. If a Bermu- 
 dan neglects to keep his roof clean he is despised and 
 handed over to derision. After growing bullis and tul)ers, 
 the only staple industry of this island is whitewashing 
 roofs. Men with buckets pwarm evervwbiM-e. Tiike a'row- 
 
FOLKS IN MID-OCEAN. 105 
 
 ing onions, it is a sign of opulence or financial decay, and 
 if a roof begins to turn brown, the neighbors regard it 
 compassionatel}' and say to each other, " Poor Thompson ; 
 he's running to seed. Wonder if he has gone to drinking 
 again ! " — just as they would of the owner of a weedy 
 door-yard up in Stockbridge. And there are still other 
 reliances besides roofs. Wherever the ground — that is, 
 the coral — is sloping, and is not occupied by a house or a 
 crop, it is utilized. It is not painted over with the glories 
 of Perkins' Liver Pad ; but it is whitewashed, and a gut- 
 ter of cement is turned around its base, and the rain is 
 coaxed down the watershed and into some adjoining cis- 
 tern. This is whitewashed and exposed to the sun, and 
 the sun in this latitude is sometimes hot ; but you may open 
 the hot door on the hot side and dip up some water and 
 find it quite as cold as it is sweet and wholesome to 
 drink — almost as cold as ice-water. The secret of it is 
 that the tanks are built of the porous coral, and this 
 serves as a rapid evaporator, like the porous chalk bottles 
 of Mexico. 
 
 The view from my window is white and glaring. The 
 " ground " is white, save where the all-pervading cedar 
 grows, or flowers or shrubs have caught root. The houses 
 are a blinding white, and their roofs look as if there had 
 been a snow-storm. There is but little grass, and this of 
 a coarse variety that will fill up the interior cavities of a 
 cow but leave her pining for nourishment. There are 
 a few browsing goats that nibble the coral reef and seem 
 refreshed. 
 
 I have been investigating the question of salubrity. 
 Bermuda is a good place for consumptives to keep away 
 from. Certain sorts of rheumatism are also known to 
 thrive here. The climate undoubtedly has an ameliorat- 
 ing influence on nervous diseases and is said to furnish a 
 panacea for insomnia — that distressing result of modern 
 civilization. But it is chiefly well folks who find Ber- 
 muda delightful and helpful — they who are worn out with 
 
106 FOLKS NEXT DOOK. 
 
 work and want rest afar from harassing cares and the in- 
 finite gibberish of a daily newspaper, or they who are tired 
 of the continuous cold of our northern winter. It would 
 seem triste to me to remain here all the while, but as an 
 occasional retreat among picturesque scenery, there is 
 nothing more attractive in the world. 
 
 " How much will it cost me to go to Bermuda and stay 
 a month ? " is one of the first questions the traveler will 
 ask. Well, of course this depends on the taste of the ques- 
 tioner. It will cost quite as much to come here and set up 
 housekeeping as it would cost in the United States. Board 
 for a short stay costs just about the same as at an Ameri- 
 can watering-place — rather less than more. At the Prin- 
 cess the terms are $3 to $4 a day, or $18 to $25 a week — 
 about the same as at similar first-class hotels in the States. 
 At the best boarding-houses a good room and good table 
 (fresh fruits and new vegetables the year round) can be 
 had for $]0 to $14 a week. A carriage for half a day 
 costs $2.50; a boat is quite as reasonable. 
 
 This is the middle of the British Empire. Around 
 Bermuda revolve in their happy orbits England, Canada, 
 Australia, India, and all the dominions of the Queen. 
 The first man I saw on landing was a soldier. The last 
 man visible as I looked out the window just now was 
 thirty or forty soldiers. Everywhere are uniforms, flags, 
 cannon, stacked arms. Amputate Gil)raltar and you have 
 Bermuda. 
 
 Every hillock is a fortress. The air is sulphurous with 
 ]iowder. The little islands in the bay are barracks and 
 powder-magazines. I never saw so much pomp and cir- 
 cumstance in my life. 
 
 I am standing upon the very top of a mountain higher 
 than Mount Blanc ! Eternal flowers instead of eternal 
 snow crown its suiiiiuit. The wliole mountain is sub- 
 merged beneath the Atlantic, and down its slimy sides 
 play the mullet and luTam. chub and amber-fish, among the 
 wrecks of Spanish galleons, and far below float, jioiscd in 
 
FOLKS IN MID-OCEAN. 107 
 
 the compact cleeiD, the gold and silver coin lost by mer- 
 chantmen or flung away by pirates centuries ago. 
 
 There is scarcely anything even now that can be called 
 soil; what there is has been distilled from the sea by the 
 little zoophyte. These islands — or let us say, this island, 
 for that named Bermuda is the largest and the one on 
 which reside the most of the 13,000 inhabitants, is merely 
 a white coral reef, with a thin skin of verdure on its sur- 
 face. The coral has assumed various forms. In one place 
 it is simply calcareous sand drifted up from the coral sea 
 and blown inland ; in another, sundry parts of the marine 
 limestone have been washed out by the rain, leaving a 
 rough bony skeleton, like the scoria of volcanoes; in still 
 another, the other inorganic substances which coral con- 
 tains besides carbonate of lime, such as the peroxide of 
 iron, alumina and silica, have united in what is called 
 *' red earth," which, mixed with vegetable mold, con- 
 stitutes the principal soil of the islands. This last is only 
 one per cent of the whole; but it is enough to form sev- 
 eral sizable pockets and mask the naked coral in a good 
 many places. 
 
 The island is thinly set with trees, shrubs, grass, of 
 nameless sorts and unnumliered varieties — all brought 
 here from other lands, I suppose ; for even the cedar, which 
 grows everywhere and seems indigenous, is exactly like 
 the Virginia cedar, and was evidently transplanted hither 
 by Sir George Somers, who settled Bermuda from that 
 colony during Captain John Smith's escapades. 
 
 Somers explicitly relates that he found no living thing 
 on the islands except droves of wild hogs, resulting from 
 a pair left by a previous navigator. They, he said, '" had 
 overrun and possessed all of the lands." This shows that, 
 though Sir George says nothing about the breed, it was 
 the ordinary British hog familiar to tourists. The only 
 wild animals here at present are mice and whales — if they 
 will permit me to mention them together. 
 
 When this Atlantic continent sank beneath the sea, and 
 
108 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 the last pinnacle of rock disappeared forever, millions of 
 years ago, the zooph3ftes came from southern seas and be- 
 gan their work of building a beautiful coral reef around 
 it, like the gorgeous crown the Persians constructed for 
 their dead king. These poh'ps — gelatinous, mucilaginous 
 and shapeless creatures without legs or hands, or eyes, or 
 heads, or even stomachs, called " coral insects" by the 
 earliest writers about them — were away from home. They 
 were the very huml:>lest of terrestrial masons on the very 
 northern edge of the coral-building zone, 500 miles north 
 of the tropics. But they went at work briskly — or, rather, 
 they began to live. From the water they distilled lime for 
 their l^ranching bones, as oxen do from grass, and when 
 they died they left these bones, in the shape of white and 
 red coral, to fill the shallow water over the mountain's top. 
 Through centuries the work went on. Higher and higher 
 were piled the bones in the coral cemetery. Here and 
 there the reef stuck out of water at low tide, and on the 
 windward, or southwestern, side the wind blew the lime- 
 sand of the pulverized coral into heaps. So these islands 
 were formed at last — so they are forming now. So this 
 vast extinct volcano has burst into bloom, and here where 
 the yawning crater was, all tropic fruits and flowers find 
 perfect maturity in the middle of the northern winter. 
 
 The tea roses here are the choicest in the world. I can 
 see from where I sit a bank of flowers which includes the 
 most superb marshal neil, lamarque, bon silene. agrippinas, 
 and other varieties of this superb flower. There is also 
 here an original called the shell-rose — a most delicate 
 purplish-pink, which ought to be known in x4.merican con- 
 servatories. Above tbe hedge beyond climlis the familiar 
 convolvulus, with a blossom of unfamiliar size — some four 
 inches across. Over tbe white roadway hangs, like a 
 plume, the laburnum, and swings its yellow bells. Here 
 and there bursts the sharp flame of the cactus, and by the 
 side of almost every door is seen the purple mass of the 
 banana's bloom under tbe tattered umbrella of foliage. 
 
FOLKS IN MID-OCEAN. 109 
 
 The nervous excitement attributable to the yelling news- 
 boy and his messages are unknown here. 
 
 '■ I see that the Eepublicans have carried the States 
 again," said a lily farmer. 
 
 I reminded him that the news had been on the island 
 nearly a week. 
 
 " Yes," he said, " but it has onl}^ just reached me in my 
 daily paper." 
 
 He laiighed and then explained : " I am trying to realize 
 the whim of having a daily pajDor every morning, as I 
 have always been accustomed to at home. The papers 
 arrive all in a lump, of course, when the steamer comes in ; 
 but I lay them economically aside and read only one each 
 morning, waiting till the next morning for the next. In 
 this way I always have fresh reading and the papers never 
 grow stale. I am just a week behind; that's all. I fancy 
 that I keep up a livelier interest in things in this way than 
 in any other. Now, this is next to the bottom of the 
 pile. To-morrow another steamer comes in and I shall 
 begin again." 
 
 Bermuda is merely a little coral world projecting above 
 the sea; but when one comes to inspect its government, he 
 is reminded of the Declaration of Independence engraved 
 upon a dime. Its government is as perfect as a lady's com- 
 bination pen-knife, with file and nail brush, button hook, 
 gimlet, chisel, awl and corkscrew attached. It is a perfect 
 nest of authority. I never saw so much government to the 
 square inch in my life ; it is the most governed part of the' 
 terrestrial globe. If the Jeffersonian maxim be correct — 
 " that governm^ent is best which governs least " — Bermuda 
 must have the worst government under the sun. In the first 
 place, a division of the British army is stationed here, un- 
 der a major-general ; and the West India fleet of warships 
 under an admiral. Do you suppose that satisfies the amlji- 
 tion of the Mugians? Why, not at all. There are about 
 1,300 acres on this entire crescent of islands under cultiva- 
 tion; and there are just al^out 12,000 people here, all told. 
 
110 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 About 4,000 are white — of these 1,500 are soldiers and 
 marines. Of the remaining 2,500, something like 800 are 
 white men and voters. A town in New England of this 
 size and population would have two selectmen, three school 
 ma'ams and a hog-hayward, and get along first rate. But 
 here they have 522 public officials of one sort or other — 
 just about two-thirds of the whole white male population! 
 Below Major-General and Admiral they have, first, a 
 Governor at $15,000 a year; second, a Cabinet at a good 
 stiff salary, somewhat like the British Ministry; third, a 
 division into eight counties and several towns and cities, 
 and each city has a Mayor, and a Board of Aldermen and 
 Common council; fourth a regular full-fledged Parliament 
 with upper and lower house and forty-three members ! 
 And they have their mimic scjuabl)les and their soul-stir- 
 ring speeches, and they sit all the time they can, and enact 
 thousands of laws and the compilation is about as big as 
 that of Great Britain. Then there are twenty-six Custom 
 House officers. After this, instead of relying on a couple 
 of justices of the peace, as a Connecticut town of the same 
 size would do, they sport a hundred justices of the peace, 
 an Admiralty Court, a Court of Bankruptcy, ■ a Court of 
 Ordinary, a Court of Chancery, a Court of Assize, with a 
 chief justice and two associate justices. Style? Well, I 
 should think so! These 4,000 white folks and 8,000 
 colored mean to maintain their dignity if every man has 
 to 1)0 an officer. And on Sunday, from the top of every 
 house that is a house is unfurled the Union Jack in all 
 its glory. 
 
 With all this prodigality of offices, no man can vote here 
 unless he owns real estate worth $300. If he aspires to 
 go to Parliament he must be worth $1,200 at least. But 
 if the Bermudans are much governed, they offset it by 
 being slightly taxed. Great Britain pays most of the ex- 
 penses. Taxes here arc only 48 cents on $1,000 — five 
 cents on $100, or haU' a mill on $1. I suppose this is the 
 lightest taxation in the world — it is imperceptible. It 
 
FOLKS IN MID-OCEAN. Ill 
 
 shows how much more liberal we are willing to be when 
 somebody else foots the bill. The Bermudans incur no 
 unnecessary expenses. They do not build bridges for they 
 have no rivers. They do not build roads, for the roads are 
 cut in the coral beds everywhere, and never need rebuild- 
 ing. There is little use for jails, for there is no encour- 
 agement for thieves. If anybody loses anything it is only 
 necessary to search the inhabitants of the island to find out 
 who has it. It is an antithesis to the little republic of 
 San Marino, whose people pay their own expenses, and 
 whose regular army therefore consists of fifty soldiers, one 
 cannon and one mule. 
 
 In a minute steam-tug we went " out to the coral reefs " 
 — a scimeter of shoals facing the northern shore, ten miles 
 long. In the vicinity the waters of the bay assumed lovely 
 tints running through the gradations of many colors — yel- 
 low, orange, pink and apple-green, and here and there a 
 well marked belt of red and purple. Over one of these 
 shoals we anchored. The reef was only some five or six 
 feet under the boat, and it was very rich in color. The 
 water was rippled by the wdnd, l)ut to offset this we used a 
 '■ water-glass." A water glass is a square bucket with a 
 plate-glass bottom, and by lowering it just below the sur- 
 face it breaks the waves and renders all below almost as 
 clear as if seen through the air. 
 
 The very first glance through the water-glass excited 
 wonder, which was constantly increased. It was the reve- 
 lation of a new world, as if one could get a bird's-eye view 
 of the strange vegetation of the planet Mars. The whole 
 bottom was a field of coral, dead and living — the dead 
 white and ragged, the living trembling and waving above 
 their beautiful homes like many-colored jellies. 
 
 We could see the great masses of brain-coral, some 
 whited sepulchres, some a vivid green, showing that the 
 shell was still inhabited ; near by was a grove of the purple 
 gorgonias and all sorts of fluttering and feathery things. 
 There were yellow sponges, standing up and l)cckoning like 
 
113 FOLKS XEXT DOOE. 
 
 human hands, and bunches of seaweed of all shades of olive 
 and bright green- and red. What surprises us most is that 
 almost the whole bottom is coralline. 
 
 Eight feet under the bow is spread a mimic garden. 
 The growing corals look so much like flowering plants that 
 it is not remarkable that Reaumur and all the old natural- 
 ists classified the coral as a vegetable growth. There is 
 a broken hedge of fan-coral of a bright brick-red, and 
 growing under its side, as if in its shadow, a mass of bril- 
 liant things that look like thistles, marigolds, carnations, 
 asters, daisies, and gazonias; they have evidentl}' been 
 flung over the hedge in clearing the garden, but they 
 have persistently taken root again and gone on flowering. 
 The branching coral grows like a tree, putting forth 
 branches; and each branch is covered with buds, and each 
 bud is a young polyp. The base is dead and forms a part 
 of the reef, but each of the living branches (green or yel- 
 low) is tipped with its sea-anemone, which goes on drink- 
 ing of the sea and depositing lime in the skeleton of which 
 it is at once the mother and the child. In many places 
 the fringes of fluttering tentacles reaching upward are 
 so conspicuous that they quite mask the coral and hide it 
 from view. The brain-coral grows here finer and larger 
 than anywhere else in the world. When alive, the curious 
 cerebral labyrinth on its surface is still visible, but some- 
 what obscured by the myriads of tenants which ajipear to 
 be little more than a scum of yellow mucus. 
 
 Looking downward from one of the windows in the 
 cabin, we can see a curious sight. Here is one of the 
 edges of this section of the reef, breaking sharp off in a 
 perpendicular wall or cliff, dowji which wo can look s(uue 
 thirty or forty feet. The side of this precipice is covered 
 richly with sea-flowers — many sorts ol" coral in all stages 
 of death and life. It is like looking down the steep side 
 of a mountain. .Sentient morning-glories palpitate to- 
 wards the sun. IMiniic trees are growing there, like the 
 spreading antlers of an elk — like arboi- vita^ bushes turned 
 
FOLKS IX MID-OCEAX. 113 
 
 to crimson and gold. Star-coral gleams there, sending out 
 its purple tentacles like petals around a thousand pretty 
 disks. Sponges flutter and wave along the dizzy height. 
 Sea-anemones cluster like half a dozen marshal neils on 
 one stalk. x\ fine specimen of brain-coral has tumbled 
 oft" and lias caught in the antlers. We fish up some of these 
 with hooks and tongs, and at last, as the tide rises, we turn 
 with our trophies home again across a sea surpassing the 
 Bav of Naples for loveliness. 
 8 
 
IM FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 CUBA, THE ISLAND EEPUBLIC. 
 
 PINK PIGS IK THE BLUE SEA. BIRDS OF ZIGZAG FLIGHT.— 
 
 STRIKING FIRE AS THEY GO. A TORCHLIGHT PROCES- 
 SION. THE GATEWAY OF THE ANTILLES. 
 
 We left New York two da3^s ago. To-morrow, Febru- 
 ary 20, we shall spend in Havana. Yesterday, shot out 
 of a cyclonic revolver off the Carolina coast, we crossed 
 into the calm warm w^ater of the Gulf Stream, where we 
 are now scudding due south. The Florida coast is a mile 
 oif at the right, and the tall cocoanut palms, topped with 
 a whorl of long-ribbed fronds, shake their torn umbrella 
 plumes at us as we pass. Now and then, ten miles apart 
 or more, missha]3en huts shaml:)le down to the beach ; no 
 other sign of human life is visible all day, not even a 
 boat. This strand could not have been more desolate 
 when strange birds fluttered in the sails of the Pinta, 
 and strange weeds drifted about its keel; or later, when 
 Ponce de Leon drank here from the fountain of perpetual 
 youth and died. 
 
 Even the monotony of the Florida coast has its fasci- 
 nations. Beyond the deep-blue water, still flecked with 
 white recollections of the storm, stretches a low sand-l)ar. 
 with the yellow sun on it ; ))eyoud this, an almost interm- 
 inable bayou that makes Florida an island within an isl- 
 and; beyond this, again, rises greenly the varied vegeta- 
 tion of the vast Everglades. The Everglades contain 
 30,000 square miles — as much as New Hampshire, Ver- 
 mont, ]\Lissachu setts, Rhode Island and Connecticut — 
 and they consist of an endless swani]). untillable, impene- 
 trable, the home of the snake antl ])elican, and the para- 
 
CUBA, THE ISLAND RP]PUBLIC. 115 
 
 dise of the crocodile — the old boss crocodile, who pulls his 
 victim into the water, by the leg, bites off a piece for 
 lunch, and thoughtfull}' stows the rest away in his larder 
 under the bank, where he can get a cold bite when he 
 wants it. I shall not go ashore. 
 
 A so-called improvement company has bought a few 
 million acres of this swamp that lies high enough to be 
 drained, and experiments thus far made show it to be 
 solid vegetable mold, six or eight feet deep, capable of 
 becoming the finest sugar-growing land on the continent. 
 If we live long enough we shall, perhaps, see " the eter- 
 nal Everglades " turned into a sugar plantation, and the 
 crocodiles, by a kindred process of agricultural evolution, 
 turned into social sheep and companionable hogs. 
 
 Speaking of the latter interesting creatures, I have just 
 been called on deck to see their marine prototypes, the 
 porpoises. I am fairly tired of these creatures' gambols; 
 of their racing round and round, hold of each other's tails 
 and turning summersets high in the air ; of their various 
 military evolutions; of their ranging themselves in pla- 
 toons a quarter of a mile to leeward, and jumping across 
 the tops of waves till they head us off: though these an- 
 tics are interesting and give rise to sundry speculations in 
 dynamics, they at last l^ecome fatiguing. But just now 
 the animals gave us a new and curious variety of friski- 
 ness. Half a dozen of them ran ahead of our how and 
 kept there within just about a foot of the vessel, exactly 
 as you have seen a spry dog run ahead of a wagon-wheel 
 that continuouisly brushed his tail, or a drove of swine, to 
 which they are likened, run obstinately ahead of a car- 
 riage and refuse to get out of the way. The name these 
 queer fish Ijear moans '' sea-hog " in various languages. 
 They are just about as big as swine, with skins of a pol- 
 ished pinkish gray, and they paddle on with precisely the 
 motion that legs would give them, with scarcely a move- 
 ment of fin or tail, and they have arched backs, bright, 
 small eyes and long, flexible snouts with which, now and 
 
116 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 then, they vigorously root each other aside; and, after 
 half an hour of racing they suddenly dive off right and 
 left and disappear with a flirt of the tail, as if angry he- 
 cause they hadn't thought of it before. 
 
 Just as the porpoises adjourned and went down to lunch, 
 half a dozen strange birds appeared close to the bow, and 
 resumed in the air under the bowsprit a similar exciting 
 race. They were a brisk bird of zigzag flight, of slate 
 color, with spots of white, and I thought they were swal- 
 lows at first, till they exhibited two pairs of wings, one 
 large pair in front and a smaller set behind. They came 
 within a dozen feet of us, and I was trying to decide what 
 sort of swallow they were, when one seemed to lose his 
 balance and fall headlong beneath the waves. " Poor 
 chap ! That's the last of him," I exclaimed, as he sunk 
 completely. " Drownded ! " said an old lady near by ; 
 " must 'a had the heart disease 'ur sonthing ! '' 
 
 Then another dropped and sunk, and then another, till 
 all of them had disappeared within ten seconds. 
 
 " Those are flying fish," said the purser standing near ; 
 " any quantity of them around here. They drop into the 
 water as soon as their fins are dry." 
 
 ''Here is another of the pink pigs!" cries a little girl, 
 and sure enough the porpoises come trooping back and 
 take position in the race at the bow of the steamer. They 
 gather side by side till there are a dozen of them in the 
 rank, averaging from four to ten feet in length, and then 
 six or eight others come and form a front rank ahead of 
 them, none of them more than a foot or two lieiicatli the 
 water. It is wonderful what a straight line they keej) ; 
 they are evidently well drilled, and their race in double 
 rank recalls the old orders of "(U : "Heads up! Eyes 
 right! Little finger on the seam of your pants." At 
 regular intervals they juiii]) out of the water and dive 
 again as if by a stated signal, as if the sei'geanl (prob- 
 ably the fellow with the rainbow back) had said, ''Now, 
 boys!" This movement is so reguhir that I have tinied 
 
CUBA, THE ISLAND EP]PUBL1C. 
 
 11^ 
 
 it and found just a1)out ten seconds intervene between 
 the curious leaps, and in the top of each one's head is a 
 hole as large as a half dollar, through which the creature 
 takes breath, with a noise half way between a snort and 
 a grunt. Probably I have not discovered anything im- 
 portant about the porpoise or the flying-fish, but some of 
 these antics are new to me^ and so I have set down my 
 impressions. 
 
 The porpoises are still cavorting at the bow, and as 
 night has fallen, the sea is very phosphorescent and their 
 sides are fairly luminous, so that each fish carries a tail 
 like a comet. iV porpoise traveling alongside the steamer 
 looks like a fiery serpent thirty feet long, and when they 
 assemble in a bevy at the bow it seems as if we were being 
 led into Havana by a torchlight procession. And the 
 flying-fish, looking almost white now in the darkness, flash 
 out of the water and into it again, striking fire as they go. 
 
 When we steam under the sombre battlements of Morro 
 Castle and move up the bay to our anchorage, we can see 
 fiery fish darting in the depths below, and on every hand 
 are phosphorescent flames, wdierever the water is stirred. 
 
118 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 THE CAPITAL OF CUBA. 
 
 INTO THE HARBOR OF HAVANA. BARCALIERS. POLYGLOTS 
 
 IN POLYCROME. THE VOLANTE. STREET SCENES AND 
 
 SOUNDS. I-IARD LINES AT THE HOTEL. " USTED ! 
 
 USTED ! " AMERICA EVERY'WIIERE IN EVIDENCE. THE 
 
 MUCH-NAMED ISLAND. 
 
 Havana lies at the head of a large land-locked harbor, 
 like New York, approached from the sea by a narrow 
 strait. At the left of our steamer the historical Morro 
 Castle rises fifty feet above the water, and at the right is 
 the fort^'ess of Punto — neither of them very formidable. 
 Inland from the Pnnto spreads the bedraggled city. The 
 most noticeable sight as we steam up the harbor is the 
 flotilla of little boats surrounding us, clamoring for our 
 baggage and a fee, manned by black barcaliers in cotton 
 trousers and straw hats. They hold on high l)unches of 
 bananas to tempt us, but they are not very insistent, and 
 are content at last when the captain anchors off shore, and 
 we creep down the oscillating rope-ladder to their lioats. 
 The city is so insalubrious and the wharves so hlthy and 
 pestilence-ridden, that vessels always anchor out in tlie 
 harbor when they can. And when we take a boat to go 
 ashore, manned l)y a negro who seems a in-odigy of learn- 
 ing because he speaks both French and Spanish glibly, his 
 lifted oars trickle as with drops of red-hot iron, and as I 
 dip the sponge over the guards and squeeze it, it seems a 
 mass of fluent flame. 
 
 Stepping ashore we transTer ourselves to tbo only visi- 
 ble land vehicle, a volante. As we curiously inspect it, 
 the iiilot of tlie auxiliary donkey announces with a distinct 
 
THE CAPITAL OF CUBA. 119 
 
 note of triumph that there are six thousand vohmtes in 
 the city. The volante is a pretentious two-wheeled ma- 
 chine swung hetween two immense wheels and a horse, 
 upon a pair of very limber shafts fifteen feet long — so 
 long that it cannot turn around in several of the streets 
 of the city. From these shafts tiny sleigh-bells jingle, 
 and between them the passenger crouches and holds on to 
 his trunk. Also between them, at the other end, is a long- 
 eared animal surmounted by a vociferous little negro who 
 wears a huge pair of leathern leggings, or galligaskins, 
 decorated with brass buttons, through which his naked 
 feet protrude and which at the lower end are garnished 
 with enormous spurs. Add white breeches, red jacket em- 
 I)roidered with gold lace, and a broad-brimmed straw hat 
 trimmed with colored feathers, and we have a picture sug- 
 gestive of a rainbow on a jackass. My particular mozo has 
 also a proud and radiant countenance and a piercing yell 
 aimed at everj^body that gets in his way. 
 
 As we rattle along over badly paved streets we become 
 conscious of several curious impressions: there seem to be 
 no women abroad but negresses; naked picaninnies swarm 
 in the gutters; there are many-colored multitudinous awn- 
 ings. Most of the residences are one-story onl}^ and the 
 front windows are cut down to a level with the sidewalk- 
 These windows are generally grated and without glass,, 
 and even without curtains, revealing the entire interior — 
 here and there a flash of marble floor and handsome colon- 
 nade. This renders communication between the residents 
 and the wayfarers very easy and social : the curious can 
 " assist " at balls without being invited. 
 
 At the hotel : We and our trunks are handed over by 
 the landlord (supine in a hammock) to the tender mercies 
 of one Eul)io, who deposits us at the top of the house in 
 a room that has another trunk in it. Eubio vanishes. I 
 capture him and bring him back by the collar. I want ar- 
 rangements for washing; also a towel. Eubio looks thun- 
 der-struck, but assumes an acquiescent air and saunters 
 
120 FOLKS NEXT DOOE, 
 
 out. He returns no more. There are no call-bells in the 
 room. Nor in the hall. I go downstairs. 'J"-:> hammock 
 is empt}^ Nobod}^ in the office. But there is a tin wash- 
 basin there. In the adjoining room I find a pitcher of 
 cleanish water, and I surreptitiously lave my features and 
 regain my room without being discovered in the gviilty act. 
 As we try to adjust ourselves to the strange surroundings 
 the door opens suddenly and in comes an obvious Span- 
 iard. I rise. He looks surprised and murmurs something 
 inarticulate. My wife also looks surprised. He speaks 
 English a trifle better than I speak Spanish, and I make 
 out that he proposes to stay, as he calmly takes possession 
 of one of the two beds, and boldly sits on it. I remon- 
 strate, adopting to some extent, I doubt not, the ingenious 
 device of Mrs. Plornish when she addressed the Italian, 
 Cavaletto. Eemonstrance unheeded, I seek the office 
 again. 
 
 Officials still absent. I push open a door and find my- 
 self in the dining-room. At the other end of the room 
 double-doors swing open, and a dark brown manikin 
 pushes into the room and stations in a corner of it a vol- 
 ante, vnth all its fifteen feet of shafts. No! Yes! It 
 is — it is — my own iridescent mozo, and the very volante 
 which brought us from the Avharf ! I am surprised for 
 the moment, but shortly ascertain that Cuban volantes 
 are generally stabled in the dining-room or the front hall. 
 
 In a few minutes the landlord becomes again visible. 
 He speaks a little English. Yes, sure enough, he had 
 forgotten that there were others in the room ! He did 
 not lay it to Eubio, and I have been ever since wondering 
 why. He frankly took it upon himself and hi id it to the 
 aberrations of his own mind. If he added a few Spanish 
 expletives, far be it from me to report that fact. In the 
 end I got a room that was not already cr(nvdo(l : also 
 lavatory arrangements. 
 
 We try to sleep. The house is pervaded liy a persistent 
 odor wliich rei)els the drowsv <'"(id. Tlu^ noises are also 
 
THE CAPITAL OF CUBA. 121 
 
 conducive to wakefulness. I hear Cubans singing some- 
 where, and other Cubans extorting a wail from a dis- 
 consolate guitar in the next window; the squeak of fid- 
 dles; the voices of croupiers vending lottery tickets and of 
 picadores announcing the next bull-fight ; the clamor of 
 maskers returning from a revel, an opera-tronpe rehears- 
 ing across the alley, street-car bells jangling, mules and 
 trumpets braying, drums beating on the ramparts, church- 
 bells ringing to frequent mass, all punctuated by the noise 
 of washing and breaking dishes in the kitchen and the 
 shout of " Eubio ! Eubio ! " down the unresponsive stair- 
 way. And then comes knocking on the door, presumably 
 by the landlord, who cries " Usted ! Usted ! Was it you 
 wanted to be called at five for Matanzas ? " " No ! Go 
 way ! " Then to the next door " Usted ! Usted ! Was it 
 you wanted to be called at five for Matanzas ? " " No ! 
 Get out ! " and the crash of some heavy article flung down 
 the hall after the unhappy landlord. On the whole it is 
 an uncomfortable night, and the hotel charges are just 
 the same if you lie awake. We can tarry but a couple of 
 days in Cuba. Let us hasten to observe : 
 
 The streets are gay with stars and stripes, lending viva- 
 city to the morning. There are other evidences of Ameri- 
 can possession besides our flag and our soldiers. An 
 urchin intercepts you with all the audacity of the Bowery 
 with " Me Americanos ! Shine 'em up ! " He placidly 
 smokes a cigar as he polishes, and when I question him I 
 find that he has exhausted his small reservoir of English. 
 
 Fakirs from the continent have reached Havana and 
 possessed it. Here we find the shirt-stud and shoe-string 
 peddler; here the itinerant picture hawker, yonder a hand- 
 organ and monkey; here the sidewalk shooting-gallery 
 ("only penny"). And that reminds me of a sign over 
 a store opposite my room. " All kinds ! All kinds ! You 
 can surely shoot yourself here ! " 
 
 Another slightly ambiguous sign reads ; '^ Eooms to 
 let ! For connivance of guests ! " 
 
122 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 The fact that the American (as the United States man 
 is called) is very numerous, is recognized in a sign " Stop, 
 Americans ! Stop ! Chewing gum sold here ! " 
 
 Cuba is about the size of Pennsylvania and its popula- 
 tion (about one-half white) is a million or so — say a 
 third that of Pennsylvania. It had a long struggle with 
 church and king for the privilege of retaining its short 
 and euphonious heathen name. Columbus first called his 
 new find " Juan," in honor of the young son of Ferdi- 
 nand and Isabella ; then " Fernandina," in honor of the 
 king; then, as the expedition was fundamentally a religious 
 one, " Santiago" (St. James,) then " San Cristobal," after 
 Columbus himself, and finally '' Ave Maria," (Hail 
 Mary!) but the old native name, "Cuba," persisted, and 
 at last survived them all. Havana was called " Carenas " 
 by Velazquez, but the original name " Havana," meaning 
 simply " The Harbor," drove it out. 
 
 The Cubans are recklessly extravagant in their selec- 
 tion of fanciful and fantastic names. Each man, woman 
 and child has half-a-dozen, though some of them, perhaps 
 borrowed from relatives who are impecunious, are per- 
 mitted to rest. Every town is canonized with a saintly 
 name in addition to its popular name. Every cell in 
 the Havana jail is named after some martyr of the cliurch 
 and for generations the twelve cannon on the battlements 
 of Morro Castle, frowning over the bay, have been named 
 in honor of the twelve apostles. Every store on the main 
 street has its grandiloquent designation. These are 
 named for gods and goddesses ; for tlie sun, mo(Ui and 
 stars; for flowers ai^d fruits and precious stones ; for 
 feast days and women's names; for ])leasing odors and 
 flavors; for strength and beauty and all the virtues. It 
 is a nomenclature of hyperboles, and to translate the 
 street ro(|uires a glossary of sweetness. 
 
 The typical Creole of Havana is a weak, sickly, frivolous 
 creature, with long scraggy neck, tliin lluted legs, indo- 
 lent haliits and enervating pleasures, genc^rnlly submissive 
 
THE CAPITAL OF CUBA. 123 
 
 to the Spaniard and American, destitute of either energy 
 or ambition, courage or knowledge. Between Spaniard 
 and Creole are as sharp racial jealousies and hostilities as 
 between the Creole and the black. But they beat all the 
 inhabitants of the revolving globe in politeness. Polite? 
 I should think so. With bowing, embracing and oral pro- 
 testations they grease the wheels of personal intercourse 
 constantly. If they had as much energy as they have 
 courtes}', I don't know but they could capture the United 
 States. 
 
 We went one night to hear the audience at an opera. 
 For the opera itself is the last thing heard by the cultured 
 Spaniard or Creole. Without listening much you shall 
 hear the hum of animated conversation and the cachin- 
 nation of laughter drowning out the prima donna and driv- 
 ing the distracted tenor into a corner of the stage. But 
 if the theater is a bad place to hear the pla}^, it is an ex- 
 tremely good place to hear the audience — and see it, 
 too. The pit is high and convenient, and only men are 
 admitted to it, and around the edge is a fringe of soldiers 
 in full uniform of blue seersucker, broken out in little 
 blisters, and each one fans himself with his l)road straw 
 hat. The proscenium and mezzanine boxes are wide open 
 front and rear, yielding an unobstructed view of the occu- 
 pants and their scanty full dress, even to cream-colored 
 slippers and bits of pink stocking. These ladies are ex- 
 perts in flirtation, and they seem to ])ay oven more 
 attention to their attitudes and movements than to their 
 speech, and more to wheedling inflection than to the words 
 themselves, and the way they use their hands and should- 
 ers and arms and eyes is a caution to unsophisticated 
 Americans. 
 
 But these luxui'ious Itoxcs are rented at ]iric-cs wliich 
 even in New \ ovk would ]n' emailed extravagant, and wo- 
 men wbo wish to attend tliis conversazione and cannot 
 afford the lioxes have to eonsent to l)e slnit off in a gallery 
 1)V themselves — in the uii])er Wvv. This is fenc-ed off from 
 
124 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 the rest of the theater, and no man is permitted to enter. 
 Husbands and beaux stop at the gate, and between the 
 acts the)' compensate for their absence by sending in bon- 
 bons, ices, and cnps of water b)^ the hand of duennas in 
 waiting. 
 
THE CAPITAL OF CUBA. 1^5 
 
 GLIMPSES OF EUEAL CUBA. 
 
 ITS ARSOIiPTlON OF KAIN AYATER. VEGETATION" BY THE 
 
 WATSIDE. — • TO MATANZAS NOTWITHSTANDING. A 
 
 SUGAR PLANTATTONT. — AN EXAMPLE OF SPANISH COURT- 
 ESY. SIXTEEN PIOURS A DAY. RELIGION AT A DIS- 
 COUNT. CONVERTING PAGANS. BAPTISM BY FORCE. 
 
 It has not rained for some months. By and b}- it will 
 begin to rain, then look sharp ! Then lay in, or, rather, 
 lay out, your entire supply of umbrellas and galoshes, for 
 when it rains here it spills upon the landscape unfrae- 
 tured seas. Last year ten feet of rain fell on this island 
 during the summer months ! 
 
 There are fewer shade trees in Havana than in the bet- 
 ter class of American cities, and immense is the contrast 
 with our national capital, which possesses a hundred thou- 
 sand shade trees — trees every twenty feet on both sides 
 of its five hundred miles of streets. To see an abundance 
 of umbrageous foliage of novel and grotesque sorts one 
 should go out on the railroads which radiate from Ha- 
 vana. 
 
 I told the landlord when he called me " Usted," 
 ('■ You ! ") that 1 would not go to Matanzas. Therefore 
 let us go; for one of the chief pleasures of travel is the 
 delight of violating the itinerary. The country does not 
 look thrifty, it must be confessed, except as bounteous na- 
 ture has made it everywhere hixuriant. We run on the 
 cars ]iast farms not well equi]iped and not neatly cared 
 for, flauked by tall aloe hedges, their stiff gigantic dag- 
 gers closely interlaced — most perfect abatis — while from 
 the, center of the sheaf of lances shoot tall stems with 
 
12G FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 twining branchlets and blossoms of colossal cups of pink 
 and yelloAV, so candelabra-like and symmetrical that they 
 look like some prim work of art done by some gardening 
 milliner. The odorous lime-hedge, with its prettily clus- 
 tered white flowers, is equally impenetrable, and, auxiliary 
 to these, are the very arid-looking " stone " fences of the 
 rough coralline formation abounding throughout the isl- 
 and. Within these inclosures are many acres of pine- 
 apples indigenous in Cuba, in stately checkerboard of gar- 
 dening, some of the apples held up red and golden in the 
 sun by a short fil)rous arm thrust through the mat of 
 thorny leaves and small blue blossoms; others still imma- 
 ture and slowly turning from greenish brown to yellow. 
 
 Next we come to great fields of slatternly plants, crowd- 
 ing socially together, but robed in unlaundried tatters, 
 like impoverished maidens at Mayfair. These are ba- 
 nanas. They grow fifteen to thirty feet high, and each 
 plant shoulders its bushel of luscious fruit at the top of 
 its stem Avhere it swings it gently in the midst of the 
 shredded fan-like leaves which the wind has rent to rags. 
 But the field here is not a hospital, and the plants have 
 not the look of our conservatory invalids : on the contrary, 
 they are ver}^ stahvart tatterdemalions indeed. 
 
 A large proportion of the landscape is occupied with 
 vast but half-ruined sugar and coffee and tobacco es- 
 tates, and by the side of the porteria rises majestically 
 the royal palm, queen of the forest. This and its kin- 
 dred of the great palm family, ranged in long avenues 
 like the surviving Corinthian columns of the Roman 
 Forum, the thirty-foot leaves interlacing and forming one 
 superb and continuous high-sprung arch, make the finest 
 conceivable background for the picturesque thatched ne- 
 gro huts of the tropics. One of these palms, mottled gray 
 and tough of bark, seemingly composed of feldspar, mica, 
 and hornblende, and vaulting straight seventy-five feet 
 without a limb or a leaf, looks so much like a cylindrical 
 monolith of granite that it might deceive the eye of a 
 
THE CAPITAL OF CUBA. 127 
 
 geologist, were it not for the whorl of mighty fronds at 
 its summit. 
 
 If the tourist has an extra afternoon he ma}^ visit one 
 of the sugar plantations and see some novel sights before 
 seeking again the steamer waiting in the harbor. Here, 
 near Matanzas, is one of these where we have a warm re- 
 ception and see the process of sugar manufacture. The 
 Cuban — like the Spaniard, wherever on earth one meets 
 him — welcomes a visitor with voluble courtes}^, offers him 
 coffee and wine, asks him to accept the house and planta- 
 tion as a souvenir, and ends by loading him down with 
 cigars about three times as large as they ought to be. 
 
 " Let me do something for you — it will make me so 
 happy," fervently exclaimed my entertainer after a break- 
 fast of a soup made with rice and eggs, broiled pheasants, 
 and vegetables. 
 
 " You have — you do, sehor," I protested, '' with the 
 privilege of your acquaintance. But the cigars — thanks, 
 but I do not smoke." 
 
 He would not believe it. It was incredible. Was I 
 not a male biped, and no chicken? Then, of course, I 
 smoked. I still shook my head and said, " Xo, gracias ! 
 gracias ! " He laughed good-naturedly, as if humoring 
 my joke, and got more overgrown cigars and stuck them 
 in all my obvious pockets. 
 
 The planters of Cuba are no longer rich, for they have 
 had too much expensive trouble. The laborers are no 
 longer slaves. They look generally sk^ek and fat, and 
 they have the hereditary habit of untiring song. 
 
 This plantation consists of eighteecn liundred acres, — 
 six liundred of them in sugar-cane. The last year's prod- 
 uct was thirteen hundred hogsheads of sugar, selling at 
 I forget how much a hogsliead. The negroes work 
 during "crop time" sixteen hours out ol' the twenty-four, 
 and those whom I see look ns if tliey throve on it. ^Fost 
 of tliem liave l)een liaptized hy tlu^ Catholic Cliurcli. hut 
 they linve hni'dly seen a ]ii-iesi <ir a cliurcli since. Tliey 
 
138 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 are almost as irreligious as their employers. Worship of 
 every kind is at a very low ebb throughout Cuba — even 
 among the emotional blacks. The whites have a saying 
 among themselves, " Old women of both sexes go to 
 mass." 
 
 But the visitor will hardly get an adequate idea of Cuba 
 by lingering in the vicinity of Havana, Matanzas, and 
 Cienfuegos. He should take the long railroad ride length- 
 wise of the island and leave the cars at intervals for a 
 day's ramble. Then he will see life as it is. In some 
 parts of the island the vegetation is a rare tangle — thou- 
 sands of square miles of mountainous forest, almost im- 
 penetrable even to the native. 
 
 The expedition of Columbus had chiefly a religious pur- 
 pose. He sought to convert the heathen to Christianity, 
 and incidentally to obtain enough gold to enable Ferdi- 
 nand and Isabella to wrest Jerusalem from the Saracens 
 and recover the Holy Sepulchre. When he arrived in 
 Cuba he thought he was in Japan, or further down the 
 coast of Asia in the empire of the Grand Khan. He told 
 his followers that they could '' go home to Spain a-foot 
 if they preferred walking." ^ 
 
 The natives, on the other hand, believed the white 
 strangers to be angels of light come from Heaven, and 
 they received them with a humility and adoration akin to 
 worship. 
 
 Nobod}' who has a heart to feel can visit the West In- 
 dies without recalling the terrible atrocities of the Span- 
 ish discoverers as related by the good apostle. Las Casas. 
 When Columbus first landed, the islands were thickly pop- 
 ulated by docile and affectionate races who called them- 
 selves '" Tainos,'"' — that is, good people — but the largest 
 tribe were called by the Spaniards " Yucayos." One of 
 the first things done by Velazquez, Columbus's lieuten- 
 ant, was to overrun the whole island with his armed sol- 
 diers. They met with little resistance, for the natives 
 were terrorized by the explorers' weapons and the strange 
 
THE CAPITAL OF CUBA. 129 
 
 beasts which the invaders rode. This meekness so enraged 
 Velazquez that he seized the king, Hatuey, and burnt him 
 alive at the stake. He and Ovando, the governor of San 
 Domingo, thenceforth carried on a wicked and horrible 
 crusade for the conversion of all the Indians to Christian- 
 
 " Soon after they arrived on this strange shore one of the 
 ships was flung upon the rocks and Avrecked in a terrible 
 storm. Columbus had already treated the natives with a 
 heartless cruelty which might well have stirred them to 
 revenge. But, scorning to retaliate and take advantage 
 of the' distress of the visitors, the Indians showed the live- 
 liest emotions of sorrow and hastened to their relief. A 
 thousand canoes plunged into the dangerous sea, sur- 
 rounded the helpless wreck, and bore the sailors and sol- 
 diers and priests to the shore in safety. "Not a life was 
 lost," says the Spanish chronicle, " and of the goods and 
 provisions saved from the wreck not the smallest article 
 was embezzled." 
 
 Columbus himself, in a letter still extant which he 
 wrote to Ferdinand and Isabella immediately on his first 
 return to Spain, says of the character and habits of the 
 natives : 
 
 " These people are Avithout weapons, which, indeed, are 
 unknown, nor are they competent to use them because they 
 are timid and full of fear. Yet when they perceive that 
 they are safe, putting aside all fear, they are of simple 
 manners and trustworthy and very liberal with evcvy thing 
 they have, refusing no one who asks for anything they 
 inay possess, and even themselves inviting us to ask for 
 things. They show greater love for all others Ibau for 
 theinsclves; they give valuable things for triHes, l)eing 
 satisfied even with a very small return or with nothing. 
 * * * [They] visited us eagerly, filling the road with 
 a great crowd, some bringing food, and some drink, with 
 great love and extraordinary goodness. These people are 
 verv amiable and kind, to such a degree thai the king 
 
130 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 gloried in calling me his brother. * * * I promise, 
 if 1 am supported by our most invincible sovereigns with 
 a little of their help, as many slaves for their navy as 
 their majesties may demand.* * * Therefore, let the 
 King and Queen give thanks to our Lord and Savior 
 Jesus Christ, who has bestowed upon us so great a victory 
 and gift." 
 
 It was so always. Whenever the white strangers landed 
 on the coast the peaceful, gentle, awed, bewildered Yu- 
 cayos flung themselves upon the ground, kissed their 
 hands and feet, hailed them as brothers and brought them 
 great quantities of fruits and wines. There were more 
 than a million of these kind-hearted and generous crea- 
 tures, populating the whole island thickly, living upon 
 the harvests of its fertile fields. Wherever Columbus 'ap- 
 peared they hastened to bring him whatever he wanted, to 
 extend to him every hospitality, and to make with him a 
 league of eternal friendship. They were slightly under- 
 sized, not very vigorous, quiet, docile, domestic, lovers 
 of peace and of the family hearth. Columbus said in a 
 letter home : '" So loving, so tractable, so peaceful are these 
 people that I swear to your majesties that there is not on 
 earth a better people. They love their neighbors as them- 
 selves." 
 
 Ought not such a reception from such a people to have 
 stirred the responsive sympathies of any manly heart? 
 
 How did it affect A^elazquez ? 
 
 lie showed himself a monster — he and his infamous 
 captains and his not less infamous priests. 
 
 Over and over again it had been declared that the voy- 
 age was made' for religious reasons — to extend the domin- 
 ion of the Cross among the heathens of the realm of the 
 Grand Khan. jSTow he proceeded to appropriate all the 
 gold and silver he could lay hand on and to take and sell 
 all property that could be turned into gold and silver. He 
 seized the royal caciques of the island and held them as 
 prisoners, occasionally baptizing one by force, and Ijurn- 
 
THE CAPITAL OF CUBA. 131 
 
 ing alive at the stake those who objected. He seized all 
 the land and divided it among his retainers and then took 
 the inoffensive people and made them slaves. When they 
 proved to be feeble workmen, he and his followers organ- 
 ized a system of Avholesale slaughter, the memory of which 
 still causes the blood to leap indignantly in the veins of 
 humane men. Universal baptism was required. Those 
 who resisted were shot down. Some of the conquerors 
 more zealous than the rest, forced the miserable captives 
 into the water, and, after administering to them the rite 
 of baptism, immediately cut their throats to prevent their 
 apostacy. Others, so their own historians say, " in honor 
 and reverence of Christ and his apostles," hanged thirteen 
 natives together, so that their toes could just touch the 
 grotind, and then slowly pricked them to death with their 
 swords. Whenever a Spaniard was killed, fifty or sixty 
 natives were called up and their hands cut off. Las 
 Casas tells us that little children were thrown into the 
 water by the conquerors with less concern than they would 
 feel in drowning puppies. 
 
 Slavery was established, and bevies of slaves were given 
 away to favorites. The conquerors swapped glass beads 
 and colored rags for handfuls of gold, which confirmed 
 the suspicion that they were in Asia and that the natives 
 had access to the ancient mines of Solomon ; and when the 
 precious metal did not come fast enough a decree 
 was issued that every Cuban over fourteen years must 
 bring in a hawkbell of golddust (about $15 worth) everj^ 
 three months, on pain of death. This was impossible, as 
 gold is scarce in Cuba. Tens of thousands fled to the 
 mountains and swamps. A life of leisvire was at an end. 
 Tbey were pursued with horses and bloodhounds. Sui- 
 cide Iiecame epidemic. The harried natives pathetically 
 inquired, " Good masters, when go you back to heaven?" 
 Multitudes resorted to self-starvation. 
 
 Finding that paganism still ])ersisted, Ovando invited 
 six hundred of the principal ehiefs into a building to see 
 
 
132 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 his people practice " a new and amusing game," and when 
 the}^ were all imprisoned he turned his armed soldiers 
 on them and slaughtered ever}^ one ! On this occasion 
 he gave the signal for the massacre by touching an image 
 of the A'^irgin Mary which he wore suspended from his 
 neck. Then he founded a new city and piously named it 
 Santa Maria. When one of Ovando's victims was being 
 burnt alive, a priest held a crucifix before his eyes and 
 besought him to l)e converted so that he could go to 
 Heaven. " I don't want to go to Heaven," exclaimed 
 the sufferer, '' if there are any Christians there." A Span- 
 ish chronicler says they instituted a series of athletic 
 games in the centers of population, which consisted in 
 seeing which could cut off a heretic's head the quickest 
 and neatest at a single hlow. x4nd they offered the same 
 excuses for their atrocities that strong nations always offer 
 for the tortures and robberies they inllict upon the weak. 
 
 Under this awful treatment by the conquerors the entire 
 nation of a million people perished — almost in a single 
 decade. Robertson says that in fifteen years after the dis- 
 covery there were only 60,000 left ! In another ten years 
 there was apparently not one remaining upon the islands 
 where the gentle Yucayos dwelt in Arcadian peace and 
 happiness, and now it is quite impossible to trace the least 
 strain of their blood. For African slaves were brought 
 and the entire population of the larger Antilles consists 
 of descendants of these and of the Spaniards and of in- 
 finite intermixtures. This is the sad, sad story of the 
 Spaniard's cruelty and ineradicable shame. Let us leave 
 the unhappy record behind us, and hasten on across the 
 channel to Yucatan, where we shall read more humane 
 chronicles in the ruins of a vanished race of pagans. 
 
A BIT OF YUCATAN. 133 
 
 A BIT OF YUCATAN. 
 
 OFF A STRAJfGE AND DESOLATE COAST, XEW STARS. liO^MR 
 
 OF THE ANCIENT TOLTECS. THE TEMPLES OF TULOOM. — • 
 
 THE INGENIOUS BUILDERS. WHERE CORTEZ FIRST 
 
 LANDED. SIXTY-TWO RUINED CITIES. THE LOST ME- 
 TROPOLIS. — CHANCE FOR YOUNG EXPLORERS. 
 
 Almost three clays have passed since I repeated the 
 story of Spain's infamy. It is night. A tall heron of 
 speckled white and hrown has alighted in the cross-trees, 
 and is hailed by the sailors as a harbinger of good luck. 
 This evening a flock of scarlet ibis flew over like a winged 
 flame. We are steaming steadily westward. That terror 
 of the gulf — the Norther — has not yet appeared. A gentle 
 zephyr breathes across the deck. The Captain says we 
 could see land if it were daylight. Some more birds of 
 gorgeous plumage have fearlessly alighted in the sails, 
 and the sailors are carefully counting tliem to determine 
 that there are not just thirteen. In face of the moon Cano- 
 pus lifts a brilliant beacon above the southern pole. It 
 is in the very end of the rudder in the constellation Argo 
 Navis, and it now drifts within our visil_)le sky for the first 
 time. Another notable addition to the familiar stars is 
 the Austral Cross which flames zigzag across the sky. 
 Near by and below the good ship Argo burn the great 
 stars of the Centaur — a splendid aggregation, but far less 
 impressive than our Orion followed across the lirmauu-nt 
 by Sirius. 
 
 "We sailed at hazard towards that ]);irt of the horizon 
 where the sun had set," wrote Captain Bernal Diaz, coiii- 
 ])anion and historian of Cortez, in his chronicle of the ap- 
 
13-t FOLKS NEXT DOOPt. 
 
 proach of the explorer's fleet to Yucatan in 1517. So 
 come we from the sunrise country, but we know we are not 
 on the coast of Asia, and shall not meet the subjects of the 
 Grand Khan of Tartary. Our steamer pauses some miles 
 from shore. 
 
 When morning dawns there looms off the port bow the 
 low-lying island of Cozumel, twenty-five miles long, hug- 
 ging the eastern coast of Yucatan. It is as desolate as it 
 looks, occupied only by wild animals amid heaps of ruins 
 on the ver}^ border of that vast empire of the Toltecs and 
 Mayas, which was partially wrecked in war and folly be- 
 fore Cortez or Columbus came. Here on Cozumel Cortez 
 first landed on his way to Mexico, cast down the idols 
 from the altars in the temples of Tuloom on the main- 
 land shore, baptized the worshipers at the point of the 
 sword, and then pushed forward in his career of brutal- 
 ity. In these temples, now buried in a dense wilderness, 
 the explorer, StejDhens, found decayed palaces of ambi- 
 tious architecture, sculptured stones, imposing altars, 
 watch-towers, paintings, stucco-work and on it the figure 
 of the red human hand, sacred symbol of devotion, in- 
 tended to propitiate the imps and elves supposed to pre- 
 side over the world and direct the destiny of man. We 
 shall not land and peruse these antique memorials, but I 
 wish to set in these pages that poem of the almost un- 
 known l)ut picturesque writer, E. W. Ellsworth, of Con- 
 necticut, commemorative of the uncanny spot : 
 
 On tlie coast of Yucatan, 
 As untenanted of man 
 As a castle under ban 
 
 By a doom 
 For the deeds of bloody houi's, 
 Overgrown with tropic bowers, 
 Stand tlie teocallis towers 
 
 Of Tuloom. 
 
 One of these is fair to sight, 
 Where it pinnacles a height ; 
 And the breakers blossom white 
 As they boom 
 
A BIT OF YUCATAN". 135 
 
 And split beneath the walls, 
 And an ocean murmur falls 
 Through the melancholy halls 
 Of Tuloom. 
 
 On the summit, as you stand. 
 All the ocean and the land 
 Stretch away on either hand, 
 
 But the plume 
 Of the palm is overhead, 
 And the grass, beneath your tread, 
 Is the monumental bed 
 
 Of Tuloom. 
 
 All the grandeur of the woods, 
 All the greatness of the floods. 
 And the sky that overbroods, 
 
 Dress a tomb, 
 Where the stucco drops away, 
 And the bat avoids the day, 
 In the chambers of decay 
 
 In Tuloom. 
 
 They are battlements of deatli : 
 When the breezes hold their breath, 
 Down a hundred feet beneath, 
 
 In the flume 
 Of tlie sea, as still as glass. 
 You can see the fishes pass 
 By tlie promontory mass 
 
 Of Tuloom. 
 
 Towards the forest is displayed, 
 On the terrace, a fagade 
 With devices overlaid ; 
 
 And the bloom 
 Of the vine of sculpture, led 
 Tlirougli the sofiit overhead, 
 Was a fancy of the dead 
 
 Of Tuloom. 
 
 Here are corridors, and there. 
 From the terrace, goes a stair; 
 And the way is broad and fair 
 
 To the room 
 Where the inner altar stands; 
 And tlie mortar's tempered sands 
 Bear the ]>rint of human hands. 
 
 In Tuloom. 
 
 O'er the sunny ocean swell, 
 Tlie canoas running well 
 
13() FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 Towards the isle of Cozumel 
 
 Cleave the spume : 
 On the}^ run, and never halt, 
 Where the shimmer, from the salt, 
 Makes a twinkle in the vault 
 
 Of Tuloom. 
 
 When the night is vrild and dark, 
 
 And a roar is in the park. 
 
 And the lightning, to its mark, 
 
 Cvits the gloom, — 
 All the region, on the sight, 
 Ruslies upward from the night 
 In a thunder-ci'ash of light 
 
 O'er Tuloom. 
 
 Oh ! could sucli a flash recall 
 All tlie fiamens to their hall. 
 All the idols on the wall. 
 
 In the fume 
 Of the Indian sacrifice — 
 All the lifted liands and eyes. 
 All the laughters and the cries 
 
 Of Tuloom, 
 
 All the kings in feathered pride, 
 All the joeople, like a tide. 
 And the voices of the bride 
 
 And the groom ! — 
 But, alas ! the prickly pear 
 And the owlets of the air 
 And the lizards make a lair 
 
 Of Tuloom. 
 
 We are tenants on the strand 
 Of the same mysterious land. 
 Must the shores that we command 
 
 Reassume 
 Their primeval forest hum. 
 As the future pilgrims come 
 Unto monuments as dumb 
 
 As Tuloom ? 
 
 'Tis a secret of the clime. 
 And a mystery sublime. 
 Too obscure for coming time 
 
 To assume ; 
 But the snake amid the grass 
 Hisses at us as we pass, • 
 And we sigh, " alas ! alas 
 
 For Tuloom ! " 
 
A BIT OF YUCATAN. 
 
 -1 O -w 
 
 lo i 
 
 This is a typical landmark. In Yucatan the ancient 
 civilization touched a higher level than anywhere else on 
 this continent. When Greece and Rome were in their 
 glory and even when Phoenicia had subdued the Medi- 
 terranean, Y'ucatan was their polished rival in the West. 
 Some of the fine arts throve here, and architecture and 
 sculpture came to a beautiful maturity. Here three thou- 
 sand years ago, contemporary with the ancient Egyptians, 
 dwelt a bold, ingenious, dominant and overmastering race, 
 of elegant tastes and vigorous pursuits, who rose to cul- 
 ture and achieved extraordinary things. We know not 
 whence they came or where they went; but still on the 
 plains are found teocallis of masonry that vie with the 
 vast pyramid of Cheops. On the slopes of the hills we 
 walk through ruined temples worthy to be classified with 
 the castles of Heidelberg and Ehrenbreitstein, and, hid- 
 den in the depths of a tropical forest, are the crumbling- 
 remains of ancient cities as large as New Y'ork and Bos- 
 ton. While there are but eight inhabited cities now in all 
 Yucatan, there are sixty-two ruined cities, known only to 
 the lizard and the owl. 
 
 Southward of Yucatan is a broad territory, unexplored 
 by the white man, where dwell the dreaded Mayas, sup- 
 posed to be descendants of the Toltecs, the creators of 
 the now vanished civilization. They refuse to have any- 
 thing to do with the white man except to buy powder and 
 bullets from the English at Belize. They have never been 
 conquered, though they pay fitful taxes to Mexico, and 
 though they conferred upon Cortez that celelirated T;i- 
 bascan princess, Marina, who served him as friend and 
 interpreter and shared his tent for years, who more than 
 once saved his life by stratagem, who followed him 
 through battle and siege, in fight and flight, till they 
 became identical in the mind of the Aztecs, and Cortez 
 himself was called by her Indian name, ]\Ialinche. In 
 the depths of this mysterious jungle history and tradi- 
 tion locate the " phantom city," which is without a name 
 
138 
 
 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 and has no place in geography. The locality is as little 
 known as the centre of Africa. The priest of Qneche 
 tells of the city, Morelet vouches for it, Don Pedro Ve- 
 lazquez claims to have seen " its white walls shining in 
 the sun." Hu Mayas speaks of its beauty. Why does 
 not some traveler go and hunt it up and tell the world 
 about it? 
 
THE SEAPORT AND THE CAPITAL. 139 
 
 THE SEAPORT AND THE CAPITAL. 
 
 A PAUSE AT PROGRESO. A RIDE UP TO MERIDA. ITS 
 
 HOTEL. — TITE ACTIVE AND THRIFTY YUCATECAN.^ — THE 
 MARKET. THE CHAMELEON. THE OMNIPRESENT HAM- 
 MOCK. — A " CAVERN BATH." 
 
 The white dots twinkling along the distant shore under 
 low palms are the houses of the new town of Progreso, 
 sizzling in the snn at the northern extremity of Yucatan. 
 It is a town which might be labeled " a. m. i.," like houses 
 to rent in the newspapers, as it aims to have all modern 
 improvements. It was named by the spirited regenerators 
 of this rusty old peninsula, as the growing Rocky Moun- 
 tain towns are called " Whoop-er-Up," " Hail Columbia," 
 " Get There," and " Go Ahead." We are lying off shore 
 in the steamer, impatiently waiting for another " canoa," 
 as the clumsy scows of this locality are called, to claw off 
 from the flat sand-beach town with sisal hemp and get 
 another load of Yankee corn. There is no harbor or shel- 
 tered anchorage on the south side of the gulf, at Progreso, 
 Campeachy or Vera Cruz, and the steamer comes to rest 
 far away in the open storm-swept sea and watches for the 
 dreaded " norther." 
 
 Yucatan is far the most thriving part of Mexico at this 
 time, and Merida, its capital, lying on low hills, twenty- 
 seven miles from the sea, may well be called the Chicago of 
 the South. It has doubled in population in ten years; 
 it is connected with the coast by a railroad and telegraph; 
 it boasts of three street railways, handsome dwellings, high 
 rents, opulent beer saloons, a sbowy cathedral, a montldy 
 
140 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 literary magazine and three weeklies, a spacious and sump- 
 tiTOus jail, and two varieties of " our respected contempo- 
 rary," the daily newspaper. 
 
 A party of ns went ashore. We came back certain of 
 what before we knew onh^ by hearsaj^ that the natives of 
 Yucatan are one of the superior races of this latitude — 
 the equal of the Spaniard and more than the equal of the 
 average Cuban and Mexican. The Mexican is rather slug- 
 gish ; the Yucatecan is active, alert, industrious, quick 
 as a cat. The Mexican is satisfied with his lot ; the Yuca- 
 tecan is hopeful, restless and ambitious. The Mexican 
 laborer is generally filthy in his personal habits; the Yu- 
 catecan is as neat and clean as the Hollander. The Mexi- 
 can is docile, submissive, obsequious; the Yucatecan is 
 haughty and warlike. The Mexican is poor and so dis- 
 honest that nothing that can be lifted is ever left exposed; 
 they say they have to chain down the spikes that hold 
 the ties on the railroads; the Yucatecan is thrifty and 
 prosperous, and his honesty is a proverb. 
 
 We paid $1 apiece to go ashore. It was too much, but 
 the Yucatecan is shrewd and acquisitive. Progreso is a 
 village of half-a-dozen narrow streets, along a sandy 
 beach; low houses of wood or a '' doby " of shell or pebble 
 stones — the best ones 23ainted in gaudy colors of red, 
 yellow, pink and blue, the huts of the poor squatting 
 under a ponderous thatch of palm leaves. Here and there 
 rises a mango tree or a banana or cocoa palm; everywhere 
 shine wild blossoms of three or four varieties, including 
 the single tuberose, and over all, as throughout Mexico, 
 the pulpy cactus holds in rest its innumerable spears. 
 Along the sandy beach we found a great variety of sea- 
 shells and marine products, but none of them very com- 
 plicated or rare — myriads of the debris of sponges and 
 broken coral washed up on the side of this great coral 
 reef of Yucatan. 
 
 In the market place, an open space under a large flat 
 roof, were offered for sale simple products of the penin- 
 
THE SEAPORT AXD THE CAPITAL. 141 
 
 sula — fruit, prepared food, ropes and matting, bead work, 
 emljroider}', and especiall}^ the chameleon. 
 
 This hitter is not, I suppose, a chameleon at all, except 
 in the fact that he " lives on air " — that is, without ap- 
 parent food. He is a 3'ellowish-gra_y beetle, about two 
 inches long, with black spots on his back. Each well- 
 bred lady of Yucatan has at least one of them for a pet. 
 With a small, six-inch gold chain fastened to his waist 
 and pinned to his mistress' waist, he wanders about her 
 shoulder for months, till tired of life and senile with old 
 age, his soul forsakes its earthly tenement. This well- 
 mannered but rather sluggish bug is the poodle dog of 
 the tropics, and in some cases he seems to become fond of 
 his owner. 
 
 I saw one on board ship, wearing a golden harness, 
 pinned on one end of a pillow Avhere a pretty Creole was 
 sleeping. He had dragged his shining tether to its fullest 
 length in the direction of her dainty nose, and there he 
 stood, silent, immovable and impassive, watching that pre- 
 cious promontory with affectionate interest. The chame- 
 leon has tremendous endurance; his digestive apparatus 
 works so feebly that he can live for six months or a 
 year without a mouthful of food. Pie is literally a light 
 eater, for the owner of one confessed to me that she gave 
 hira for a monthly lunch " a bit of cork.'" But he looked 
 fat and was probably a glutton. 
 
 The cars run up to Merida twice a day ; fare, first-class, 
 seventy-five cents. The houses here, as in Progreso, arc 
 square, flat-roofed and wholly without chimneys. The 
 larger ones are built around a court, have elaborately 
 carved fagades, and are of two stories height, each story 
 being fifteen to twenty feet between joints. The ordi- 
 nance of the city coum'il ])r()hil)its tlie painting of a house 
 white. The visitor is very grateful for that, for the sun 
 is so fervent and the sand so lustrous that white houses 
 would b(> iis blinding as the "marble halls" of Bermuda. 
 
 Generally the streets are unpaved, but they are neat and 
 
14:2 FOLKS NEXT DOOH. 
 
 well cared for. There are fifteen plazas or public squares, 
 in this cit}^, and each one has a church facing it; but since 
 the confiscation of churcli propert}^ many years ago. the 
 former grandeur of religious ceremonials has disappeared. 
 An American can now decline to remove his hat when the 
 priest goes by without l)eing subjected to insult. 
 
 The largest plaza is paved with tiles and radiant with 
 blossoming flowers, and the evening is made lustrous by 
 a galaxy of six electric lights hauled to the top of a spar 
 as in Madison Square, New York. But at 10 o'clock this 
 conspicuous glim is extinguished and the ]\Ieridans go to 
 bed. 
 
 Not to bed, but to hammock. Every individual in Me- 
 rida, except strangers at the E[otel Yucateco, sleeps in a 
 hammock the year round. Even the wealthy people, the 
 magnates, the leaders of society circles, as well as natives, 
 not only sleep in a hammock, but they are born and die 
 in it. It is generally swung under a roof, but often hangs, 
 from the beginning to the end of the year, from the low 
 branches of embowering trees. 
 
 A hammock, in Yucatan, is usually occupied by two 
 people at night. The longitudinal cords in the middle of 
 the web are pulled up tight between the two, and they 
 sleep with their heads in different directions — also their 
 feet. 
 
 Our hotel proved a queer place. Roomy it was, but the 
 partitions between the rooms extended only about two- 
 thirds of the way up to the ceiling. This arrangement 
 prevents loneliness, and enables every guest to hear every 
 other guest snore. All conversation is in common, and 
 there is a sociability about the sleeping together which is 
 delightful. I never saw anything to beat it, except when 
 I tried to go to bed in a French sleeping car, in the com- 
 pany of several archaic maidens. 
 
 Most of the transportation here is done between sunset 
 and sunrise, for the sake of comfort ; so there is a clatter 
 of hoofs coming through the barred windows till morn- 
 
THE SEAPORT AXD THE CAPITAL. 143 
 
 ing, and the stranger guest sees in his broken dreams an 
 endless procession of donkeys (burros) going and coming 
 along the country roads all night. [A trifling damsel on 
 the ship has invented a conundrum about this creature, 
 the answer to which is, " because he is the only burro 
 drawer that never sticks."] The street car of Merida is 
 of Philadelphia make, and is drawn very fast by an equine 
 insect that goes on a run in a far-flying harness of strings. 
 The driver slashes his donkey with a stick, holds the reins, 
 smokes a cigarette and blows a fish horn all at the same 
 time — indeed, I think he collects the fare, too. And when 
 they hear that trumpet, pedestrians fall to the right and 
 left, and the chariot dashes through. Musicians, more or 
 less gifted, make the night more or less melodious. One 
 jingles a triangle and another tickles the abdomen of a 
 frivolous guitar. Some balconies give forth the sounds of 
 song, and ladies in scanty full dress appear behind the 
 iron grating of the windows, seeming like penitential dam- 
 sels in the penitentiary. 
 
 When the party of Americans rose and looked forth at 
 five o'clock in the morning, the unwinking jackass was still 
 moving pathetically past, the native, with his broad sc- 
 rape thrown over his shoulders, was passing nimbly across 
 the place, and the soldier of Yucatan, who gets for wages 
 just six cents a day and boards himself out of it, was 
 yawning in one of the arcades. 
 
 In Merida we found one unique thing — the '' cavern 
 bath." These admirable facilities for bathing arc in 
 caves (cenotes) cut in the coral or calcareous rock thirty 
 or forty feet below the level of the street and reached by 
 ste])s. When tliis rock is tapped its springs yield an 
 abundance of water soft as borax fountains, and wonder- 
 fully pellucid. There are no rivers in Yucatan, and no 
 fresh water except such as is caught from the clouds and 
 such as is " dug up,"' as the Yucatecan calls reaching the 
 subterranean sii})iily. A batli here after three weeks at sea 
 and in a Havana hotel is indescribal)lv refresbing, and 
 
14-i FOLKS NEXT DO OK. 
 
 comparatively inexpensive. These natives have as yet 
 but imperfectly learned the trick of extracting tips, pour 
 boire, fumata, and other synonyms for small and large 
 change, from the sight-seeing traveler. A very few pen- 
 nies once in a while, in place of much silver all the while, 
 go far to secure immunity from the solicitations of porters 
 (cargadores) and other servitors of the wayfarer. 
 
GOOD-BYE TO YUCATAN. 145 
 
 GOOD-BYE TO YTTCATAX. 
 
 WHERE OUR SUMMER BIRDS TAKE REFUGE. THE HOME OF 
 
 HEMP. — THE BAG-MAKIXG HOXEY BEE. — '' WAXOS 
 DIAS ! " — A MISTAKE IN THE MAN. — LUNCIIIXG AVITII 
 YUCATECANS. " DE SEA BLUBBER."' l'ENVOI. 
 
 Progreso is on one of the long sand-dunes of the coast ; 
 l)ack of this is an immense lagoon, shallow, hroad and a 
 hundred miles long. Here many of our northern summer 
 birds spend the winter and earW spring: here the question, 
 " Where do the birds go ? " is answered. On every hand, 
 not yet taken wing, we see the duck and teal, the white 
 heron, the wild goose, the ibis, egrets, snipe and sand- 
 pipers, curlews, even robins sometimes, they say, and 
 others of the great cheerful thrush family. 
 
 Inside the lagoon the entire territory of Y^ucatan is 
 composed of coral, older than the main land of the Ber- 
 mudas, and not otherwise unlike it. The soil is thin, 
 sluggish and unresponsive. The road to ]\rerida passes 
 through great henequen plantations — the sisal honi}) of 
 commerce — miles on miles. Within the walls that hedge 
 it, planters' dwellings are embowered in cocoa palms, and 
 approached through impressive lanes with arched gate- 
 ways. 
 
 The population is Ijoth thrifty and prolific. Almost 
 every woman over fourteen has a brown baby upon her back 
 laugliing inside of her blanket, and if she liasn't a baby 
 of her own just at the moment she borrows one for a week 
 to avoid seeming eccentric. The lieggars are modest, and 
 there does not seem to lie very much jioverty. 
 
 I ate some of tlie lionev here, and became miijlitilv in- 
 
14G FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 terested in its winged manufacturers. It tastes somewhat 
 like our northern honey, but it has a sharper tang to it, 
 and is even more acrid and thinner than the pungent 
 lione_v of Hjaiiettus, that is served to tourists in i^thens. It 
 is not so delicious as the thiclv mountain hone}^ of Swit- 
 zerland, but is a very fair substitute. The bee is a still 
 greater contrast. He — or, I suppose I ought to say she — 
 has no sting whatever. And she — or, perhaps, I ought to 
 say it — does not apparently understand geometry or trig- 
 onometry, and is perfectly ignorant of that wax-walled 
 hexagon with which the buzzing flower-despoiler of other 
 climes excites so much of the wonder of mankind. But 
 if it is not skilled as a comb-maker, the Yucatan bee is 
 expert as a bag manufacturer. It stores its honey not in 
 cells, but in bags of wax which it secretes in hollow trees 
 or sometimes hangs upon the bushes. Each of these pen- 
 dant sacks will hold perhaps a couple of thimblefuls, and 
 as the buzzing proprietor is stingless and therefore help- 
 less, collecting honey is without peril, and is somewhat 
 like picking huckleberries. 
 
 The favorite carriage in this peninsula is called a 
 " volan," and is simply a hammock with two wheels put 
 to it and three mules put to the wheels. The passenger 
 lies down and gets along as well as he can. Roads do not 
 always seem quite so rough if the traveler can oscillate 
 freely. I hired a volan-hammock, lay down in it like a 
 bag of meal, shut my eyes and told Juan, the driver, (on 
 one of the mules) to go ahead. After rolling around for 
 a mile or two I halted the hammock on what seemed to 
 be an unused road. An old man who stood under a cocoa- 
 nut tree at the roadside snatched off a dilapidated som- 
 brero and bowed very low, exclaiming excitedly, " Wanos 
 dias ! wanos dias ! " 
 
 " Yes, how are you ? " I answered, " wanos dias ! " 
 and I was glad that I brought no ladies along, for he was 
 not half dressed and what he had on looked as if it were 
 about to fall off. 
 
GOOD-BYE TO YUCATAN. 147 
 
 , , At first I thought he was a beggar, and may be a foot- 
 pad, too, so I shook my head and held up an empty hand 
 to show him that I hadn't a cent with me. I fancy that 
 I also laid a hand on my revolver, while my outrider 
 seemed expostulating with me in half legible gestures, but 
 an unknown tongue. Then it occurred to me that I would 
 propitiate the tough-looking citizen 1)y hiring him to get 
 me a cocoanut. " Here ! " I said, " wanos dias ! cocoanut ! 
 coco ! two ! " holding up two fingers and handing him a 
 tlaco (about 1 1-2 cents), the market price in that lati- 
 tude. 
 
 He uttered an unpleasant exclamation, salaamed again, 
 took the tlaco, looked at it, and handed it back to me! 
 Then he jabbered to Juan. I thought he was swearing 
 in Spanish, but he laughed heartil}^, and that reassured 
 me. He opened the gate, walked in and beckoned. Juan 
 drove the hammock in, up the lane to the castle and under 
 the. portico. The old man vanished and returned in five 
 minutes, followed by an obvious slave, bearing a 
 highly polished salver containing plates, bottles, glasses. 
 He salaamed again, gestured to the attractive lunch and 
 then to the old palace, and I understood that he must 
 be offering to make me a jDresent of the premises after the 
 cheerful habit of the Mexicans. " Gracias ! gracias ! '' I 
 said ("thanks! '') and ought to have blushed if I did not, 
 as I accepted some cocoanut milk and white grapes — won- 
 derfully cooling — and after that some wine, the hospita- 
 ble old tramp drinking with me. Then I said some more 
 '' gracias " and backed out as well as 1 could and at last 
 got away safe in my wapper-jawed hauimock. \yhen we 
 returned to the post-office I learned that I liad fallen in 
 with one of the rural aristocracy — an t)ld fellow who has 
 subdued a thousand acres to cocoa and sisal and is rich 
 beyond counting. But he really ought to tog up a little 
 and not thus impose upon unsnsjiecling strangers by his 
 ambiguous jx'rsonal appearance. I suspect that T overpaid 
 Juan for lie gave me no more peace while I was on the pen- 
 
148 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 insula. For an hour I felt as if I were in the capital of 
 my native land, making the circuit on one of the " see- 
 ing Washington " cars. Among the things he brought me 
 was an enormous lizard, a foot and a half long, with a ten 
 inch tail. The chief peculiarity of the reptile was that his 
 body and tail did not associate. Juan brought the body 
 in one hand and the tail in the other. " When I caught 
 the beast he snapped his tail off," he said. 
 
 I expressed incredulity. " Si, seiior," he said, earnestly, 
 '' they almost always do. They care not for their hinder 
 part." 
 
 It was an ugly looking customer, leathery and warty, 
 with bead-like, twinkling eyes, and a forked and extensile 
 tongue, and Juan opened the creature's mouth by squeez- 
 ing its neck, and I saw two rows of l^ack teeth. 
 
 " They bite your shadow sometimes," Juan solemnly ex- 
 plained, " and then you die quick. And often they shoot 
 their sharp tail and it pierces you like an arrow. I 
 show." 
 
 He led me out on the plain and after hunting around 
 a little, found a fine agile lizard, wearing his tail proudly 
 and wriggling over the stones. " Fling your handkerchief 
 on him," he said. 
 
 I did as suggested, and was astonished to see the reptile 
 drop his tail and leap away, leaving the broken appendage 
 on the ground, still wriggling in an uncanny fashion. I 
 picked it up. Sure enough, the vertebras had been un- 
 hinged and the saurian had lost his self-possession and 
 his rudder at the same time. I saw several other in- 
 stances of this curious phenomenon, and afterwards I 
 read the explanation of naturalists, that the species dis- 
 cards its least valuable member when pursued, because 
 it has learned, through a million years of suffering, that 
 by this renunciation it can divert the attention of the 
 enemy. But the discarded tails did not seem to possess 
 any of the qualities of an arrow. 
 
 Hot days and cool nights characterize the Yucatan sum- 
 
GOOD-BYE TO YUCATAK 149 
 
 mer, if my brief experience and the unanimous testimony 
 of Americans on the ground are trustworthy as to the fact. 
 Sandflies, chinches, mosquitoes, chiggers, ferocious ticks, 
 and carnivorous fleas also. Likewise birds in vast flocks 
 with pleasing melodies and gaudy apparel — pelicans, her- 
 ons, parrots, flamingoes. And centipedes. And scorpions. 
 And serpents in a variety of species calculated to delight 
 the soul of the naturalist. 
 
 As I did not yearn for pulque, I joined the ranks of those 
 who cannot afford that very loud liquor, in partaking of 
 mere water from the caverns flavored with atol}^, — corn- 
 meal spiced and sweetened. It is quite palatable and re- 
 freshing. 
 
 I have said that the citizen of Yucatan is shrewd and 
 lively, or, if not, 1 say it now. Example : the railroad 
 to Merida was built by a native contractor. He bribed 
 the governor (as usual) and got a "concession," one of 
 the conditions being that the passenger fare and freight 
 charges should be fixed at a very reasonable rate (speci- 
 fied) "when the line is finished." ^Yell, do you know, 
 that sagacious entrepreneur built all of the road except 
 about half a mile and left it unfinished for years, so 
 that he could make the rates " all the traffic would bear '' 
 meantime ! And he began to lay the rails at Merida, too, 
 having carried them up from the coast, twenty miles, on 
 the backs of mules! He said Merida needed a railroad 
 more than the seacoast did, and perhaps he knew. 
 
 There is a railroad across to Campeachy now, and one 
 to the soutlieast, nearly to Uxmal, and several of the 
 ruined towns. 
 
 I know how tlio Yucatecans live, and what their jiriu- 
 cipal food tastes like. We were three hours tacking back 
 to the steamer under a red hot sun, aud the three men 
 who sailed the scow, while tliey were not lying on their 
 backs wifli tlie sun burning their faces, beguiled the time by 
 indulging in the pleasures of the stouiaeli. >Vs I was 
 near them T was invited to partake, and aece]ited. They 
 
150 rOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 first produced a gourd as large as a small pumpkin, with 
 a hole in the top, and they set it among them. Then they 
 unrolled a large leaf, containing Avhat looked like a pile 
 of thin pancakes. These were tortillas, made of corn- 
 meal. One of the men went for a bottle of something, 
 and while I was watching to see Avhat he was going to get, 
 the others prepared my dinner, for when I looked back 
 they handed me a pancake full of the stuff from the 
 gourd. I took it and ate. It was the reverse of good, but 
 I put it through both the processes of mastication and 
 deglutition. I swallowed it little by little, the pancake 
 of dry cornmeal, the filling of black beans (frijoles), red 
 peppers, fierce and fiery, pieces of mysterious uncanny 
 fat, and three or four other elements unrecognizable. I 
 ate it nearly all. I saw them j^repare another. One 
 took a pancake in his left hand and dipped it into the 
 gourd, using his right hand to assist in obtaining what 
 he wanted. He had no more hesitation about soiling 
 his fingers than Napoleon had. Then slyly I threw the 
 remainder of the feast away. I was not hungry, anyhow, 
 for I had had breakfast only nine hours before. Then I 
 smelt something — a very searching odor — and thought we 
 had run upon a reef of dead catfish. 'No, it w^as beer from 
 the bottle — pulc[ue — pronounce it pull-kee, if you please, 
 and pronounce it as far off as possible. I was not thirsty. 
 Pulque should be drunk only as a duty. 
 
 As we finished our repast the shore grew dim, but novel 
 sights did not vanish with the shore. A tall negro, of 
 whose command of English the native boatmen are madly 
 jealous, rowed me from the scow to the ship, and on the 
 way we passed near to a curious and beautiful object float- 
 ing on the Waaler, which I at first supposed was a cham- 
 bered nautilus, with all sails set. Then I remembered 
 having read that the story of the nautilus progressing by 
 means of a mysterious sail was fabulous. 
 
 " Dat ? " said the negro, with a dip of his oar in the 
 direction of the object, " dat fella out yon humpin' him- 
 
GOOD-BYE TO YUCATAX. 151 
 
 self up outer de watah? Dat's cle sea blubber. Might}^ 
 pink and purple, but don't you let him hit you ! " 
 
 We were now so near that it was obviously a medusa 
 or sea nettle, such as abound in the Potomac and Chesa- 
 peake Bay, yet it was not like them. It was as jelly-like 
 and fringed and tasseled as they, but instead of propelling 
 itself through the water, like a small live parasol, it sat 
 serenely upon the wave, trailing its lace-like appendages 
 underneath, and lifting above it a light membrane ap- 
 parently filled Avith air. This last would hold, I should 
 think, a quart, and it was puffed up like an inflated blad- 
 der. The part above the water was blue and pink, and the 
 sun struck from it iridescent hues, and it dragged after 
 it through the Avave lovely filaments of netted purple. The 
 bladder was so large that the creature drifted before a 
 light breeze. It was a brilliant example of the oceanic 
 hydrozoan, and the filaments, armed with thousands of 
 little arrows, were eight or ten feet long. 
 
 I remembered Holmes's most beautiful poem, and said 
 to myself: 
 
 " This is the ship of pearl, which, poets feign, 
 Sails the unshadowed main." 
 
 I thought it Avas the prettiest thing I had ever seen 
 afloat, and told the boatman to stop, and let me get it. 
 
 " Ye bettali not ! " he exclaimed, earnestly, " bettah not 
 fool Avid dat fella ! It's a kind o' serpent, not a snake, 
 ye knoAv, but a serpent, and he don't Avant to be fooled 
 Avid ! " But at my repeated command he drcAV alongside. 
 
 " Don't tetch him though, boss," he earnestly repeated, 
 '' not ef you Avant to live to git asho' ! " 
 
 1 reached out with my umbrella and drew the magnifi- 
 cent mariner towards me, Avhilo the boatman Avent on: 
 
 "My GaAvd, Cap'n, y'ain't gAvine tetch 'im, be ye? Holy 
 Mother, he kill ye, sho* nuf ! Jcs' like tetchin' 'lectic 
 Aviah ! " 
 
152 
 
 FOLKS XEXT DOOR. 
 
 I had now recognized it as a fine specimen of the phy- 
 salia, or "• Portuguese man-of-war," and knew it was not 
 dangerous. 80 I swept my hand under it and lifted it 
 into the l)oat. It stung me at once, as all sea-nettles will, 
 and the darts were a little sharper than I had ever felt 
 them before. After examining it for some minutes I took 
 it by the inflated fin and restored it to the wave, on which 
 it tossed, a very gaudy and perfect bit of color. 
 
 " N"ow you'll catch it ! " persisted the boatman. " I 
 wouldn't give much fer you! You may live along fer 
 some time, becase he didn't git a chance to bust on you. 
 Sometimes dey busts on folks and dere lives ain't wuff 
 a pickyune. A zambo was a swimmin' here only las' week 
 — jist ofl: yere — an' he run against one 0' dem fellahs and 
 it clawed right hold of his ribs an' it busted on him, and 
 killed him in a minute ! " 
 
 He turned towards shore, and there was silence for a 
 couple of minutes, but I saw that he was whispering to 
 himself as he touched the rosary about his neck. " Bet- 
 tah say you prayers ! " he presently broke out again. " A 
 cull'd lady heah in de city went out a wash in' clo's one day 
 in de full ob de moon an' she trailed 'em behind de boat. 
 One dese devils got tangled in 'em, sah, and wen she 
 haul 'em out he busted on 'er an' she sunk right down 
 on de wauf onconsciously and died fore dey could git a 
 priest.'' 
 
 Thus did my tawny servitor beguile the tedium of the 
 journey. My hand was red and it smarted as if sunl)urnt. 
 I climbed aboard the steamer. My fingers pained me more 
 and more, and rapidly began to swell. I met the surgeon 
 shortly and showed him the scotched member. " Yes," he 
 said, " sea-nettles. Come into my room." I wont. One 
 of the stewards was sitting on the l)i'd, gazing at one of 
 his hands, wliich had swollen to twice its usual size, as 
 if it had l)een stung liy a whole swarm of bees. It was 
 covered witli l)lood and lilood was running from the fin- 
 gers, "lie lias hvvu catebing these rortugiicse men-of- 
 
GOOD-BYE TO YUCATAN. 153 
 
 war, too, and I have lanced his liand in half a dozen 
 places. He ought to have known better," said the doctor. 
 My hand was not badly swelled, but he insisted on lancing 
 it. I declined to let him, refusing to pay sanguinary 
 tribute to the power of the physalia as a fighting charac- 
 ter. I was right. The swelling M^ent down in an hour 
 or two, but I could well believe the physalia might be 
 capable of inflicting considerable injury on a person not 
 in robust health. 
 
 Looking over the guards for more, half a dozen of 
 the beautiful creatures were in sight, careering over the 
 waves like large and lovely marine blossoms filled with 
 the southern sun. 
 
 Multitudes of fiying fish have appeared to-day, and we 
 have seen unnumbered specimens of that lovely pink and 
 purple mariner — the opalescent soap-bubble on the wave. 
 The gulf is full of poetry that easily sets itself to music: 
 
 O. bounteous life that came to me 
 
 Where earth her every grace betrays 
 In cactus, palm and orange tree, 
 
 And all her opulence displays 
 
 Within the tropic's tangled maze ; 
 AVhere Orizaba's peak of snow 
 
 Nods to Malinche through the haze 
 Bej'ond the Gulf of Mexico. 
 
 We left tlie land upon the lee — 
 
 Its beaches brown and peacef id bays — 
 And drifted silent down the sea 
 
 Wliere gannet dives and dolphin plays, 
 
 Wliere the physalia sets her stays 
 And purple sail in si^lendid show, 
 
 Reflecting all the sunset's rays 
 Upon the Gulf of Mexico. 
 
 O, tropic night ! Tliy glories be 
 
 Responsive Nature's fairest phase; 
 Ever the zephyr wanders free. 
 
 And the inconstant planet strays; 
 
 Canopus sings liis song of praise ; 
 New constellations rise, and lo ! 
 
 The Southern crucifix ablaze, 
 Above the Gulf of Mexico ! 
 
154 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 L'ENVOI ! 
 
 Serene delights and pleasant ways ! 
 
 How life is sweetened by the flow 
 Of silver nights aud golden days 
 
 Above the Gulf of Mexico ! 
 
ZIGZAGS IN MEXICO. 155 
 
 ZIGZAGS IN MEXICO. 
 
 WHAT VERA CRUZ LOOKS LIKE. — GOING ASHORE. — A BIRD 
 SACRED TO UTILITY. — CLIMBIXG THE MOUNTAIN TO THE 
 CAPITAL. — NATIVES. — FLORAL LUXURIANCE. — THROUGH 
 THREE ZONES. — ORCHIDS AND EVERGREENS. 
 
 Mexico is in the shape of a cornucopia with its back 
 to the Pacific Ocean, and the comparison is justified by 
 its tremendous luxuriance and productiveness. More than 
 half of the fruits and edible vegetables known to the hu- 
 man famil}^ grow in Mexico. Three-fourths of the Mexican 
 republic — a section of the earth's surface as large as all 
 of the original thirteen States of our Union — is one stu- 
 pendous mountain higher than Mount Washington. This 
 mountain, 1,500 miles long, is covered with a population 
 twice as dense as that of Michigan or Minnesota — a popu- 
 lation which, outside of the basin on the mountain-top 
 in which lies the capital, is remarkably healthful, robust 
 and prolific. And every fruit and flower that is intro- 
 duced, comes to superb maturity either on the great table- 
 land at the summit or on the warm hillsides (tierra ca- 
 ll ente) that slope downwards to the gulf and ocean. 
 
 Approaching Vera Cruz on a clear day, the snow-capped 
 peak of Orizaba may from a deck fifty miles from shore 
 be seen shining sixty miles inland — its brilliancy quite 
 justifying the name given it l)y the Aztecs — the Star of 
 the Sea. Our steamer heaves in sight of the old city in 
 the early morning — a line of tawny white buildings shim- 
 mering in the sun along a sandy beach. In front of us 
 frown long and threatening reefs which we must carefully 
 thread; on the left a gaunt head-land, sticking its brown 
 
156 FOLKS XEXT DOOR. 
 
 back out of the surf, called the Isle of Sacrifices, because, 
 the natives say, a custom formerly prevailed of slaying 
 a youth there on a certain day in every year — an offering 
 to the Devil-god, — but we can detect another reason for 
 the name in half a dozen dismantled hulls which have 
 evidently found their doom there, some of them stripped 
 to stately skeletons through which the fresh wind whis- 
 tles. On the right is the chalk-like disreputable fortress 
 of San Juan de Uloa, commanding the town from its rocky 
 islet. This last has been checkered by powder, rain, lime, 
 slime, and time, and interest is augmented by the fact that 
 Scott captured it and that Santa Anna and a good many 
 other kings and presidents have been immured there. 
 
 Above the shore rise the city walls, tinted in rainbow 
 colors, and beyond and over all show the steeples, turrets 
 and domes, more than a score of which can be counted 
 pale and rich in the morning sky. 
 
 It is impossible to land at Vera Gruz in a storm, and 
 difficult at any time. There being no harbor, we come to 
 anchor in the roadstead, and presently a score of sail- 
 boats flock close around us like hungry gulls. They are of 
 every gaudy color, simple and mixed — white, saffron, pink, 
 orange, blue and peacock green, striped and starred, — 
 a perfect marine kaleidoscope as they dance about. The 
 cotton-clad boatmen hail us individually with their " wa- 
 nes dias/' assure us laughingly in softest Castilian that 
 they are rejoiced to see us, shout at us in toughest Eng- 
 lish and declare that their craft possesses seraphic quali- 
 ties and that they themselves are simply philanthropists 
 who would gladly leave to us the trivial question of com- 
 pensation. After a while the quarantine officer comes 
 aboard, feels of the doctor's pulse and gives us leave 
 to enter; then the custom house officer arrives and ex- 
 amines our credentials; then the seraphic lioatmen climb 
 up on deck and off'er to carry us ashore for $3 apiece. 
 They finally compromise on $1, and we go off' in sailboats 
 or rowboats to the mole, half a mile awav. 
 
ZIGZAGS IN MEXICO. 15^ 
 
 Everything seems povert^'-stricken ; the workmen look 
 like American beggars, and I wonder how the Spaniards 
 could ever have had the audacity to name Vera Cruz " the 
 Eich City of the True Cross." 
 
 The first thing that attracts my attention on climbing 
 up the wharf is a brown bird as big as a turkey sitting 
 pensive on a trunk bearing initials which I recognize. 
 I give him a " shoo " as one would a hen in the front 
 parlor, when a young dentist who has come with us shakes 
 his head and drojss a word of caution. He points beyond 
 the wharf, also, where I see large numbers of these awk- 
 ward birds, acting as if they own the town, roosting on 
 fences and housetops and striding with official and inquisi- 
 torial air down the gutters which run in the middle of the 
 streets. I now recognize it as a buzzard, or zopilote 
 (four syllables, please, in pronouncing him), the sacred 
 scavenger of the tropics, and know that I am in the 
 presence of a member of the street-cleaning department 
 of Vera Cruz. 
 
 '" It costs you $5 if you kill one of these fellows," says 
 the doctor, " and the jDolice will arrest you sooner for 
 snapping an orange seed at a buzzard than for stoning a 
 priest." 
 
 I let that bird alone. But I take an inventory of his 
 personal attributes. It must be acknowledged that he is 
 a tough looking customer. His faded pink eyes have little 
 wrinkled porches over them, and are the eyes of a dissi- 
 pated creature. His white under-beak is like the lower 
 jaw of a dredging machine, that has just been washed, and 
 his top-knot looks as if it had been through a cyclone. 
 His nostrils have a flaring and disdainful expression, per- 
 perhaps acquired from his epicurean habits, and his mouth 
 extends back just as far as it possibly can without cut- 
 ting his head off. He always forgets to move his head 
 and body simultaneously. He shows no fear, but he has a 
 pensive air, he tiptoes softly and deferentially, and his 
 aspect somehow suggests that he has been disappointed in 
 
158 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 his choice of a profession. But his career is extremely 
 serviceable, even if it does not confer happiness on him. 
 
 I take an empty street-car and ride out through the city 
 to suburbs where the bull-fighting arena is fenced in, and 
 am surprised, indeed, to find that the hottest and unhealth- 
 iest of Mexican cities is by all odds the cleanest. Streets 
 white and solid are drained by gutters free from sewage or 
 refuse, and though I suppose the " vomito " does sometimes 
 break out here, it is difficult to perceive what it lives on. 
 There are no carriages in Vera Cruz ; at least, I do not see 
 one. The ubiquitous donkey patiently plods, and mule-cars 
 run constantly, with nobody in them. 
 
 But, after all, there is nothing to see in Vera Cruz, 
 except things which nobody wants to see; so we hurry 
 off within an hour or two on the train of the Mexican 
 railway, which will bear us to Orizaba, half-way to the 
 capital, before night. 
 
 The ride of three hundred miles, from the gulf to the 
 city of Mexico, made in twelve or fourteen hours, is full 
 of constant surprises, and is an event never to be for- 
 gotten. It includes the temperature and flora of three 
 zones, and is like taking a railroad ride in Brazil, Penn- 
 sylvania and Norway, ail in a single summer dny. For 
 thirty miles we run across the plain — the ticrm calicnte 
 (hot land) of ^lexico. Barrenness at first; then cactus, 
 banana and cocoa palm and that infinite underbrush called 
 chaparral. Hovels here and there, with sides built of cane 
 sticks four or five feet high, standing on end, far enough 
 apart to admit air, light and centipedes, and covered slant- 
 wise witli a tliirty-foot-high and two-foot-thick thatch of 
 palm leaves, looking like a Yankee haystack or Eol)inson 
 Crusoe's home. By us whisk telegra]ih poles, coffee bushes 
 in l)lo()iii, bananas and brown infants, tliree-quarters 
 naked, solemnly making mud pies in tlie shade of a club 
 cactus. 
 
 Vnv tlie first seventy-five miles there are palms of many 
 kinds, mahogany, dye wootls, eottonwood and paint trees; 
 
ZIGZAGS m MEXICO. 159 
 
 then, for fifty miles, a temperate zone with the oak, ash, 
 camphor tree, cj'^press, and a hnndrecl other trees in aliun- 
 dance; and even in the frigid zone along the sierras, vast 
 forests of pine, sprnce, cedar and fir. In the tropical part 
 of the ride the vegetation is ver}^ luxuriant. Great trees, 
 varieties we do not recognize, are on every hand, draped 
 with the long, gray, Spanish moss so familiar to the trav- 
 eler in Florida. ]\[any of the trees are also laden with 
 air plants, or parasites, fantastic and beautiful forms 
 clinging to them like some strange, crouching animal, half 
 unrolled and ready to leap upon the train. The convol- 
 vulus festoons the branches with its glory of purple flow- 
 ers. Here and there a coffee field lurks in the shade which 
 this savory bean requires, looking like rows of our Xorth- 
 ern barberry, hung with scarlet jewels and leaves as green 
 and shiny as a laurel. The castor-oil plant holds aloft 
 its gigantic brown beans. A rod of pale-green cactus 
 shoots twenty feet up the wayside rock, and watches us like 
 a snake — the splendid blossom of the century plant. 
 Flowers of strange sorts abound, and when the train stops 
 we get out and pick bouquets of them, crowned with a 
 new-fashioned thistle-bloom, red as a flame. Bananas in 
 groves are ripening by the wayside. Mango trees are in 
 pink blossom. Beautiful yellow orchids appear now and 
 then, and magnolia and orange trees make the air fra- 
 grant. The tulipan lifts its scarlet cup along the hedges. 
 A banana palm in blossom susj^ends its red flower like a 
 great inverted torch, and a peculiar high palm with ra- 
 diating leaves suggests green .fireworks on top of a pole. 
 This lasts for hours — an odoro\is tangle of rare beauty. 
 
 ; As the train winds up the mountain side toward the 
 snowy._peak of Orizaba, white in the sun, Brazil gradually 
 
 : merges into Pennsylvania. The magnolia disappears. 
 Palms are fewer. And the traveler is made conscious that 
 the road has required extraordinary engineering. A pow- 
 erful engine, a blending of two locomotives with ihe ten- 
 der on the top, drags the train and attains the traction 
 
-««i(»B5»-..^*^ar. 
 
IGO FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 necessary to overcome the tremendous grade of one foot in 
 twenty-five. The vistas along these mountain sides are 
 magnificent. More than one view recalls the lovely val- 
 ley between the Alps, up which the St. Gothard railroad 
 from Italy winds; but the latter road ascends only 4,000 
 feet to the summit, wdiile the Mexican railroad climbs 
 from five feet above the Gulf of Mexico at Vera Cruz, 
 to over 8,000 feet at Guadalupe! There are many tun- 
 nels along the route, and numy fine iron and stone bridges, 
 feats of daring engineering. The track is of steel, and 
 as smooth as the best roads in our States. 
 
A GLIMPSE AT THE CAPITAL. 161 
 
 A GLIMPSE AT THE CAPITAL. 
 
 ON A MOUNTAIN TOP. CONDITION OF THE CITY. A 
 
 HEAVENLY CLIMATE. NO CELLARS. NO DRAINAGE. 
 
 FEVERS AND DEATH IN SUMMER TIME. THE GREAT NEED 
 
 OF MEXICO. 
 
 TiiE city of Mexico, three hiindrecl miles from Yera 
 Cruz, lies in the bottom of a great saucer sixty miles 
 long and twenty wide, in the broad top of the Andes. The 
 time to see this lofty plateau at its best is the summer 
 months, for then, throughout the tierra fria (cold laud), 
 as it is called, the air is salubrious and bracing, and the 
 rain of every afternoon keeps dowji the dust, and brings 
 forward the lovely vegetation. From April to August the 
 trees that have borne luscious fruit all winter put forth 
 special efforts, and the out-of-door flowers which you 
 thought beautiful in January become wonderfully radiant. 
 At the same time there is no very hot weather, like that 
 which assails the people of even our most northern States. 
 But, though this is the season of splendid luxuriance, there 
 are other reasons why January, February and ]\Iarch are 
 the safest months for a visit to tlie capital. 
 
 This is a heavenly clinuite. jS'o umbrellas, no overshoes, 
 no piercing cold at the coldest, no dangerous heats at the 
 hottest, all fruits at all seasons, blue skies scarcely flecked 
 1)y a cloud — lifi^ hwo is a ]ior]i(M iial j^v. I am speaking 
 of tliosc mnnllis of Spring: there are other months, later 
 in llic sninuKM-. when rniiis fall (^vcry day, wlicn lliis un- 
 di'aJDcd basin in which the cajiital lies exiiales death, when 
 tlic nmltrella stieketh closer than a lirotber and tb.e wan- 
 dei'ing American ]iilgrini. warned liy tlic menace of ]meu- 
 monia and a rel)rile jnilsc, jumps into his gum shoes. 
 
163 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 draws his rubber manga over his shoulders and flies north 
 or to the higher mountain tops as fast as he can go. The 
 climate is not responsil)le for this unhealthfulness, for the 
 climate is always healthful. The undrained condition of 
 the city is responsible. If it were drained and properly 
 paved, and if the drainage were applied to the beautifying 
 of the broad suluirban avenues, Mexico would be the most 
 attractive city in the world to tourists — not architectur- 
 ally as handsome as Paris and Washington, but more de- 
 lightful, because set high above the reach of all pulmon- 
 ary and bronchial diseases, with a temperature ranging 
 less than fifteen degrees in a whole year, in the midst of 
 perpetual verdure. 
 
 There are no cellars in this city — not one anywhere. 
 Water lies wthin two feet of the surface, clogged and 
 rendered impure by the filthy accumulations of ages. Lake 
 Texcoco is only two feet lower than the cit}'^, and Lake 
 Zumpango, with many square miles of surface, is 24 feet 
 above it ! So during freshets the city is occasionally over- 
 flowed and water stands two feet high in the streets. 
 There is little water in the valley (twelve hundred scjuare 
 miles) fit to drink except such as is brought up 
 through deep artesian wells, and that is of questionable 
 quality. In the summer fevers and j^neumonia abound. 
 The average death rate here is twice as great as that of 
 Boston, and the average of human life here is 3(3 years ! 
 AVhen Cortez found the city it covered a small island in 
 I^ake Texcoco, and was connected Avith the mainland by 
 two or three long and narrow causeways built through the 
 shallow water and broken here and there by defensive 
 bridges. Since then the lake has receded till it is nearly 
 ten miles away. The floating gardens of the "Aztecs — 
 rafts of wickerwork upholding rich vegetable mold — have 
 long since come to anchor and form beds of earth with 
 ditches running l)etween. 
 
 The city is now surrounded by a low, level plain 
 threaded bv broad and beautiful boulevards 300 feet wide. 
 
A GLIMPSE AT THE CAPITAL. 163 
 
 embowered in cypress and eucalyptus trees. The terrible 
 canals in which the little band of Cortez was repeatedly 
 engulfed have withdrawn or dwindled into ditches. This 
 great waste of new land is terribly dry in the rainless sea- 
 son and unproductive. 
 
 For the first two days I was a little troubled for breath 
 on this lofty plateau, and my lips were dry and my throat 
 parched; but my lungs have now become accustomed to 
 the rarefied air, and by taking outdoor exercise early in 
 the morning and evening and drinking a little claret 
 and a good deal less water, I have succeeded in being 
 very comfortable. The clothes we wear are the same they 
 are wearing in New York. 
 
 The Mexicans are by no means indifferent to the un- 
 wholesome condition. Thrice they have made prepara- 
 tions to move the whole capital to the highlands, but the 
 work was too colossal for carrying out. In recent years, 
 they have put forth herculean efforts for sanitation and 
 have finished the great drainage canal, fifty miles long, 
 through the mountains to the Gulf, but it is by no means 
 all that its projectors hoped for as yet, and proves to be a 
 mitigation rather than an extirpation of the perils to 
 which they are constantly subject. The cit)^ of Mexico 
 is not yet a safe place to visit during the heavy rains of 
 summer. 
 
 All of Mexico except the Federal district, of which this 
 city is the center, is salubrious the year round ; but by this 
 I mean all on the high plateau of T.OOO feet, which really 
 constitutes three-fourths of the country. This city might 
 be removed from the list of exceptions if it would spend 
 a few million dollars for drainage, not by relying on the 
 ])reposterous canal to the Gulf of IMexico, begun 300 years 
 ago by the Viceroy Salivas, on which $113,000,000 has 
 already been spent, but by disposing of the sewage ac- 
 cording to the dictates of modern science. What this 
 beautiful city needs to more than restore the fabled beauty 
 and fertility of the Garden of the Aztecs is to put in oper- 
 
164 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 ation here a system like that now so successful elsewhere, 
 where the sewage is allowed to run into a central sink 
 and is easily pumped therefrom upon the unfertile lands 
 around the town. The solid matter thus passes speedily 
 into vegetation, producing fruits and flowers. I know of 
 no place in the world that would feel the benefit of such 
 a system as Mexico would, excepting, perhaps, the sand 
 barrens of Long Island, if they could be fed with the 
 sewage of Xew York and Brooklyn. 
 
 Here it would be especially adapted to the end designed, 
 for not only would the fertilization be used to the very 
 best advantage, but the liquid portion of the drainage for 
 the greater part of the whole would make these parched 
 fields blossom like Tadmor all through the rainless winter 
 months. Not only would Mexico thus become one of the 
 three or four most lovely cities in the world, with avenues 
 as broad, straight and handsome as those of Paris and 
 Washington, in the midst of a garden radiant with bloom 
 twelve months in every year, but it would become one of 
 the most healthful cities on the planet — perhaps the most 
 healthful — the Mecca of every sight-seeing tourist and a 
 sanitarium for the invalids of both hemispheres. It is 
 r terrible pity that such an opportunity should be neg- 
 lected, when, for an expenditure quite within the ability 
 of the people, this cit}', now under a cloud of distrust in. 
 spite of the eternal summer, might Cjuickly become re- 
 nowned for attractiveness among the capitals of the world. 
 
 The very configuration of the outlying lands, the vast 
 benefits to accrue, the splendid avenues to be beautified, 
 the fertile fields to be reclaimed, the health of 300,000 
 people to be protected, and the seriousness of the 
 dilemma which defies any other solution, ought to tempt 
 the authorities to put it in operation at once. Instead of 
 being brown and dusty, parched and fever-stricken, the 
 valley of Mexico might be made a garden, sustaining the 
 happy population that it supported under Montezuma, and 
 blooming with more than historic splendor. 
 
THE STEEET,S AND HOMES. 165 
 
 THE STEEETS AND HOMES. 
 
 NAMES OF STREETS. HOW THE HOUSES LOOK. NO CHIM- 
 NEYS. THIRD FLOOR ARISTOCRACY. SEEN" FROM THE 
 
 BALCONY. BARGAINS IN THE I'ATIO. AIDS TO DIVINE 
 
 AVORSHIP. — WATER FOR DOGS. — CALL ON MRS. SANTA 
 
 ANNA. 
 
 In naming cit}'' streets Mexicans have shown great origi- 
 na]it3^ Every street has as man}^ names as crossings. 
 A new name is assigned to almost every square — not a 
 letter of the alphabet or a number, but some gorgeous 
 appellation that quite fills the mouth to utter. A good 
 many are theological names. There are the street of the 
 Crosses of Sorrow, the street of the Saint of the True 
 Cross, the Heart of Jesus street, the street of the Holy 
 Ghost, the Hail Mary street, the Arches of Bethlehem, 
 the avenue of the Love of God, Jerusalem Court, and the 
 bridge of St. Peter and St. Paul. Potato street and Egg 
 alley run into St. Jerome street, and New Slaughter House 
 street runs into Jesus Christ street. Then there are the 
 street of the Lost Child, Famous Men street. Fifth of May 
 street. Fish street. Bird street, Goat street. Rat street. 
 Rooster street, and street of the Flies. Streets are named 
 after most of the mechanic arts and dozens of the saints. 
 Add to these the Square of the Thief, the street of the 
 False Entrance of St. Andrews, Little Candle Shop street. 
 Sad Indian street, Crazy Folks street, and Devil street, and 
 you begin to have some idea of the grotesque nomenclature 
 of the capital of Mexico. And half of the stores are named 
 after some saintly personage, or some hoaviMily suggestion, 
 as the Tobacco Shop of the Holy Virgin. 
 
166 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 This city of Mexico has been much modernized. The 
 streets are now generally broad and straight, flanked with 
 two-story jails, built of brick covered with stucco and 
 wliitewashed. These jails are residences and they are 
 erected flush with the sidewalk, and generally have a little 
 grated window on the first story — perhaps two. Entrance 
 is effected at one heavy double iron gate like barn doors, 
 which admits pedestrians and horses, especially horses, to 
 the first floor, which is floorless. This is the court or 
 patio, and the jail-like residence is built around it. In 
 this patio are flowers, vines and color plants, blossoming 
 shrubs, sometimes gorgeous and of great variety, and 
 around it winds the stone staircase leading to the living- 
 rooms. The only proper place to live is thought to be 
 on the third floor — the lower rooms are given up to ser- 
 vants and horses. 
 
 The heavy iron gate furnishes the only entrance to the 
 house. Sometimes the patio is handsomely paved with 
 tessellated marbles, and the stairs rise through gothic 
 arches, supported on airy and graceful columns, and dec- 
 orated with statuary. The upper front windows open 
 upon cozy and attractive balconies, shaded by linen awn- 
 ings, often in high colors. 
 
 There are no chimneys to this house. In fact there is 
 not a chimney in Mexico, I believe, except in the most 
 northern states, and their absence gives an odd aspect 
 to the architecture, like that of Arabian towns. No house 
 has a fire-place or a stove, for it is never cold, but the 
 kitchen is equipped with a sort of ungainly brick or stone 
 range, ten or fifteen feet long, having holes for pots and 
 kettles, in which charcoal is burned. The smoke escapes 
 by the open doors and windows. Charcoal is the fuel of 
 Mexico — almost the only fuel, except in the northern 
 states. It is packed to the cities, sometimes hundreds of 
 miles, by grotesque little donkeys, which carry loads four 
 times their size, or by the porters of the country, who will 
 tote on an average 150 pounds twenty miles a day. 
 
THE STREETS AND HOMES. 167 
 
 Many of the houses of the cit}' are out of plumb, the 
 walls leaning and staggering like the walls of Yenice or 
 Amsterdam, and for the same reason. Where water washes 
 just underneath the surface in one perpetual sea, it can 
 scarcely be expected that heavy masonry will maintain 
 the perpendicular. 
 
 Immediately outside of every one of the 30,000 doors 
 in this city sits a wooden bowl of some sort containing 
 water. This is for the dogs of the street; and there is a 
 fine of $5 for every householder who fails to put this dish 
 out and keep it replenished all the time between the vernal 
 equinox and the summer solstice. This looks like real 
 kindness to animals, but it is in sharp contrast to the 
 bull fights in the suburbs, the cock fights in the city, and 
 the brutality of the spur with which the Mexican rides 
 his horse. Somewhat incongruous, also, seems the circum- 
 stance that an uncommonly large proportion of the well- 
 watered dogs here have only three good legs, and that they 
 hobble along holding up the broken one so that it will not 
 touch the stones. So I at last come to the ungenerous 
 conclusion that the drink is set in the doorways, not for 
 the comfort of the dogs, but for the protection of the deni- 
 zens against hydrophobia. 
 
 The view of the streets from the balconies of the fort- 
 ress recalls old Bible pictures; the plain, Ihit-roofed 
 houses, with outside of stucco; a portal broad as a port- 
 cullis the only entrance; peons clad each in a cot- 
 ton shirt and pair of white drawers, moving languidly 
 about; women selling lottery -tickets ; diminutive donkeys 
 carrying loads twice as large as themselves, so bulky some- 
 times as completely to hide the bearer: the ineffable dude 
 of Mexico in his jingling silver; the grotesque water ped- 
 dlers; cows and goats driven around and milked at the 
 doors, and the warm sun in every season glimmering over 
 all — it irresistibly reminds one of the street-vistas of Jeru- 
 salem, Joppa and Damascus. 
 
 To the newcomer Mexico is a country of stariling con- 
 
168 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 trasts. The same clothes are worn winter and summer, 
 and thongh we are about seven thousand feet above the 
 sea in a valley considerably higher than the highest moun- 
 tains east of Colorado, oranges, bananas and trojDical fruits 
 ripen every month out of doors. 
 
 Come to the balcon}^ — for almost every room in Mexico 
 has a l^alcony, either on street or court. An Indian woman, 
 with a brown baby strapped upon her back in a blanket like 
 our Western Sioux, rises from her seat upon the pavement 
 beneath us and nimbly steps upon an electric car by the 
 glare of the arc light ! 
 
 You can buy almost every Mexican product from a 
 Mexican lialcony. Street venders go by constantly hold- 
 ing up things to tem]3t the purchaser. A cargador pauses 
 and looks up without a word. On his back are 150 pounds 
 of charcoal which he has toted 50 or 75 miles from far 
 beyond the Cordilleras. Our brazier is not out of fuel ; 
 if it were we could buy — for twice what it would cost in 
 New York. 
 
 A girl holds up a bunch of bananas. She is not pretty ; 
 in fact, there is no indigenous beauty here. One can see 
 more pretty women in New York in five minutes than in 
 Mexico in a hundred years. She will do for a banana- 
 holder, though. " How much ? " "■ Five cents apiece, 
 senor." Five cents! and this is the home of the banana! 
 1 can get as good ones in New York for half the money 
 every day in the year. In fact, oranges, pineapples and 
 all tropical fruit cost just about twice as much here within 
 sight of the orchards as they do in New York. 
 
 A woman stops below^ and lifts up a water bottle. I 
 call her up. She enters the heavy portal, crosses the 
 open court where flowers are in bloom and a few oranges 
 are ripening on a tree, and climbs the stone stairs. The 
 bottles are of Guadalajara ware, a chalk-like pottery, so 
 porous that the rapid evaporation cools water like ice. I 
 buy some bottles — 50 cents apiece — and the grotesque 
 painting on the outside is worth the money. 
 
THE STREETS AND HOMES. 1G9 
 
 Here comes a peddler of antiques; he looks up and 
 shows me a parcel of something. I beckon to him. He 
 comes np, looks slyly around to see that he is unobserved, 
 then unfolds the package and produces a handful of rusty 
 iron that looks at first like old chain-armor. No, it is a 
 sort of spiritual armor. There is an iron band four inches 
 wide to buckle around the waist next the skin, and armed 
 on the inside with lacerating prongs and spurs to tear the 
 flesh. It was worn by a religious devotee, who strove 
 thus to increase his piety. There is a similar chain band 
 for the neck and one for each arm, all sharpened up nicely, 
 with barbs as sharp as pins. I should think it would 
 result in great personal excellence if used with energy. 
 There is also a chain whip, called by the church a disci- 
 ■plina, with wbieh some penitent person used to scourge 
 himself. It has at the end half a dozen chain lashes, so 
 equipped with iron thorns that it would take a mouthful 
 of flesh out of the back at every blow. I have never seen 
 it used, and have not even used one myself, but Madame 
 Calderon do Barca, in her book on Mexico forty years ago, 
 says that she attended evening service in the church of 
 St. Francis, and at a given signal the lights were put out 
 and the congregation, slipping ofC their coats and loosening 
 their frocks, fell to thrashing their bare backs with the 
 disciplina, continuing it for half an hour till they were 
 completely exhausted, and the floor was stained with blood. 
 A clergyman now preaching here, tells me that ho himself 
 recently took a whole suit of this sort of armor oif of a 
 zealous blacksmith. I purchased the lot and shall put it 
 in my cabinet labeled " Aids to Divine Worship." 
 
 Yesterday I called with a small party of Americans upon 
 Mrs. Santa Anna (pronounced here '^ Sant' Anna"), wi- 
 dow of the celebrated general, wlio died many 3'ears ago, 
 after a life of extraordinary vicissitudes. The visitors 
 were received with great urbanity in hei' new residence, 
 in the center of the city, by ]\Irs. Santa Anna, who de- 
 clared that she liked Americans, and was alwavs glad to 
 
170 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 see them, and irx liberal Spanish fashion informed them 
 that her new house was theirs, to dispose of as they saw fit. 
 It was no sorr}^ gift — an immense three-stor}^ building of 
 cream-colored trachite, erected around a court ; twenty-five 
 or thirty rooms, I should think, in all, including the 
 stable. The court, or patio, is of course open to the sky, 
 and brilliantly illuminated with orange and cactus blooms 
 and a profusion of tropical flowers. Not half of the rooms 
 are yet furnished, but it wouldn't be a bad house to take — 
 not at all. 
 
 Mrs Santa Anna was found up the stone steps in the 
 parlor on the upper floor, where most of the Mexicans 
 live who can afford it. She is slightly bowed, and has the 
 personal appearance of a woman who had seen grief. She 
 is of smallish stature, and Avas in a plain dark gray 
 gown. She speaks English pretty well, and a third of 
 her conversation was in that familiar tongue. She owns 
 a "summer residence" in Tacabaya, a healthful village 
 full of gardens out beyond Chapultepec, but as it is always 
 summer here she occupies one place or the other accord- 
 ing to her caprice. She is accompanied by an intelligent 
 young lady from Michigan, who is assisting her to recover 
 her English, rusted from 3^ears of disuse. 
 
 Mrs. Santa Anna is only seventy, but I am bound to 
 say that she looks ten years older, in spite of the fact that 
 only a few white threads appear in her dark thatch of hair. 
 It is a wonder she does not look a hundred. Santa Anna 
 was President of j\Iexico three years before she was born. 
 She was plighted to him in her cradle and married to him 
 when she was thirteen. He Avas then a military dictator, 
 sleeping on his sword, beset by constant iDcril. In six 
 months he had lost a leg and got into that dismal prison, 
 San Juan de Ulua. For twenty years her life was spent 
 in a camp, surrounded by the whirl and fright of warfare. 
 Her husband was five times President of Mexico, four 
 times military dictator in absolute power. He was lian- 
 ished, recalled, banished again, and finally died when 
 
THE STREETS AND HOMES. 171 
 
 with his wife in exile as a traitor. She lias seen much 
 " glory " and has received nnlimited adulation, but she 
 hardl}^ ever enjoyed one thoroughly peaceful month in her 
 life. It is a wonder she does not look as old as Methusa- 
 leh, for she has suffered more worry and trouble than a 
 liundred ordinary women. Mastered by the sympathy of 
 the moment, I could not help saying a good word for her 
 dead husband, that monster of cruelty and brutality who 
 killed 140 American ]3risoners in the Alamo, and shot down 
 in cold blood the brave, if quixotic, Fannin and his 500 
 followers after they had surrendered under solemn agree- 
 ment, on tbe shore of Texas, 
 
 A cloud came over her face, as she said : " I am glad to 
 hear you speak kindly of my poor husband. The people 
 of Mexico will not understand liim. They call him hard 
 names, but God knows he sought their welfare. He suf- 
 fered and sacrificed everything for them, only to be dis- 
 carded by them at last. I think the z\mericans wlio knew 
 him mainly as a foe understand him better than his own 
 countrymen." 
 
 Though Santa Anna defended this land repeatedly 
 against foreign invaders, and always showed great ability 
 in council and field, his memory is now dishonored, and 
 there is no statue or portrait of him in any public place 
 in ]Mexico. After trying in vain to govern this capricious 
 people for a whole generation, he finally concluded that a 
 foreign master would l)e best for them and recommended 
 Maximilian. This is the blunder which they will not for- 
 give. Perhaps they are right, from a political point of 
 view. Q II ten sahe? 
 
 ''.Here is the best picture we have of the General," said 
 Mrs. Santa Anna, turning in Ikm" clinir and indicating a 
 portrait in a frame that sat on tlie Ibxn- and leantMl against 
 the partition. She spoke in a sweet voice and smiled ad- 
 miringly. It represented tlie cliieftain in tlie attitude witli 
 wlii(h be was most familiar — on liorseback. The face, 
 ])ainled in oils, was said to be an admirable likeness. The 
 
173 FOLKS NEXT DOOK. 
 
 rest of the picture was in rich and elaborate embroider}' — 
 heaps of sills:en thread, carefully and lovingly woven 
 through and through. It was a spirited representation. 
 
 Hanging on the Avail was also a portrait of herself, 
 taken many years ago, surrounded with court luxury and 
 looking like a young princess in the midst of her triumphs. 
 She had evidently not yet discovered that her dolls were 
 stuffed with sawdust. 
 
 " The general's picture ought to have been hung long 
 ago," said the widow, "■ but I have only just succeeded in 
 getting into this house. It was built by Mexicans, and 
 tliey are so slow ! They promised to finish it in four 
 months, and they have been exactly four years about it. 
 It was always ' Manana ! manana ! ' " So it is, indeed. It 
 is very difficult to get anything done promptly in this 
 country. They keep putting one off with their everlasting. 
 " manana " — to-morrow ! 
 
 Mrs. Santa Anna has no children, and never had. She 
 is attended by six servants, none of whom wear livery. 
 She lives and dresses with conspicuous plainness, and it 
 is only when she speaks of her late husband that her wan 
 face lights up with much vivacity. As we passed down tlie 
 heavy stairway, a sleek team of mules hitched to a hand- 
 some landau stood in the imtio waiting to bear their mis- 
 tress out to her rural residence at Tacabaya. Santa Anna 
 never, T believe, acquired a large fortune, a testimonial 
 to his personal honesty, which does not attach to the names 
 of many of his successors. His gorgeous snutf-liox, worth 
 $25,000, is on exhibition at the Monte de Piedad. It was 
 a present. 
 
 I felt better after calling on IMrs. Santa Anna and ex- 
 pressing respect and sympathy, for it seemed, in a certain 
 way, like making personal atonement for the disgraceful 
 part my country had played in tlie war of 184()-47 — one of 
 the most barbarous and unjust wars for plunder ever waged 
 bv a powei'ful nation against one that was defenceless. 
 
FOOD AND DRINK. 173 
 
 FOOD AND DRINK. 
 
 FRUITS, VEGETABLES, GRAIN. — HOW DO THE MEXICANS 
 LIVE? — THEY EAT QUEER THINGS. — FLIES' EGGS. — THE 
 CACTUS. — THE VIRTUES OF THE TULQUE COW. 
 
 It has been alleged that more than half of all the trees, 
 fruits, vegetables, cereals and flowers that are grown on 
 earth can be found in Mexico. Certain it is that there is 
 not one known to science that can not easily be grown 
 here. 
 
 In the tierra caliente, on the low slopes and plains of 
 the coast, the plants consist mostly of the fruits of the 
 torrid zone, cocoanut and a great variety of jDalms, dye 
 woods, coffee, sugar-cane, indigo and cotton. 
 
 In the tierra templada, on the narroAV outer slope of the 
 immense mountain-plateau, there are bamboo and cam- 
 phor trees, grapes, apples, pears, oaks, cypresses, maples, 
 tobacco and wheat. 
 
 In the tierra fria, on top of the immense mountain- 
 plateau which constitutes the most of Mexico, are decid- 
 uous trees, all kinds of pine and other varieties of needle- 
 bearing trees, and the various species of the invalual)le 
 cactus. 
 
 i-Vmong the fruits of the tierra caliente are granidita. 
 mamey, chirimoya, and many others of unfamiliar name, 
 besides oranges, limes, bananas and pineapples. 
 
 It is said that there are in Mexico fifty-six kinds of 
 building woods and twenty-one kinds of cabinet-voods, 
 twelve kinds of forage, a hundred species of odoriferous 
 flowers and fifty-two of cereals and vegetables, eighty- 
 
"I 
 
 174 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 seven kinds of edible fruit and one hundred and thirteen 
 species of medicinal plants. 
 
 How do the Mexicans live? To write this question is 
 easy enough: to answer it staggers me. The laborers of 
 Mexico consist of two-thirds of all the people; some 3,000.- 
 000 pure-blooded Indians and 6,000,000 half-breeds. They 
 are called " peons," and four-fifths of them live from hand 
 to mouth. Their habitations are of the simplest sort — 
 huts of dirt mixed with straw and dried; huts of cane 
 just large enough to creep into; shanties of bark in the 
 arlioreal regions; in fact, shanties of anything that will 
 afford a screen. They make their homes under other peo- 
 ple's houses, like cats; in holes in the bank, like swallows; 
 and sometimes they camp under railroad-bridges and un- 
 der freight-cars backed upon a siding. Eight were run 
 over and killed out of a party of thirty who had camped 
 under some freight cars out on the Mexican National. 
 They were asleep at the time. 
 
 Yesterday morning I rode with a companion — the agree- 
 al)le Purdy — out through the eastern suburbs of the city, 
 and there, in the centre of all the smells of Tophet, we 
 came upon the five-acre ground where the district dumps 
 its garl)age and refuse. Peons were poking over the un- 
 canny heap, and then we discovered that they had made 
 their homes there — scores and perhaps hundreds of them. 
 These houses were three or four feet high, and were Imilt 
 of old tattered palm-leaf mats pulled out of the garbage- 
 lieap. The henhouses and hogpens of New England are 
 palaces to these habitations. But the tenants were of 
 course of the very lowest class. And in a land where it 
 seldom rains for months at a time, and nevei' freezes, al- 
 most any slielter will answer. 
 
 JTow tlie peons get food for six or eight cents a day — 
 tliat is tb(- (juestion. If they required half as much to eat 
 as the workmen ot the ITnited States they could not sur- 
 vive; they wouhl be swe])t off by starvation at once. 
 
 Twentv vears ago during' mv first visit to ^Mexico I con- 
 
FOOD AND DRINK. 175 
 
 sidered this difficult problem, and in a letter to the Chicago 
 Tribune, said: 
 
 " The peons live mostly on cornmeal, baked into thin 
 cakes, with water, beans cooked in lard, and a fiery pepper 
 called ' chilli,' which may stimulate, but can hardly nour- 
 ish. Corn grows here easier and more abundantly than 
 anywhere else in the world, several of the States producing 
 three crops a j^ear, one after another ; but corn is $3 a 
 bushel in the city of Mexico, and over half of the Eepub- 
 lic. 
 
 " Beans — the great stand-by of the peon, and on his table 
 always three times a day — cost $1 a bushel. 
 
 " In a dozen of the Mexican States two crops of wheat 
 are grown annually, and in many places the farmer reaps 
 thirty bushels for a single bushel sown. But flour sells at 
 the rate of $10 a barrel in the city of Mexico. 
 
 " Potatoes of all sorts grow abundantly here with little 
 care; but they are so high and scarce that the steamer on 
 which I came brought 2,000 bushels to Yucatan and Vera 
 Cruz and sold them at $2 a bushel. 
 
 '' The peons live, I am told, on five or six cents a day ; 
 but call it ten or twelve cents a day, and even then how are 
 they to get enough cornmeal, beans, and potatoes to support 
 life? 
 
 " Mexico, as might be inferred, is the very Paradise of 
 swine. In no part of the world can they be grown cheaper 
 and easier than in the tierra templada — the temperate table 
 lands that flank this great plateau. But most of the pork 
 is turned into lard, and the only good ham to be had in 
 this city is from New York and costs 50 cents a pound. 
 
 "■' The reason of the scarcity and high price of food is 
 duplex: a lack of enterprise in the farmers and a lack of 
 transportation. If transportation were at hand the enter- 
 prise would come half way to meet it as surel}'' as supply 
 responds to demand. 
 
 " If the peons chiefly lived in the cities they would cer- 
 tainly starve to death. At his home the native eats only 
 
176 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 Indian corn, fruit, berries and a few simple vegetables and 
 weeds, and he grows them himself, or gathers them himself 
 where they grow spontaneously. He distils and brews his 
 own liquors, mostly pulque and mescal from the maguey, 
 but occasionally he prepares the fermented juice of the 
 tuna, chicha, chilote, and a dozen other plants, and on the 
 slopes and low lands of the coast he luxuriates in palm 
 wine, grape brandy and rum from sugar cane. The reason 
 why the peons do not starve is because they eat no food 
 that has been transported."' 
 
 The regular price for a good house-servant here — a 
 chambermaid, for instance — is $3.50 (American money) a 
 month, and $3 a month for " rationes." Servants do not 
 board in the family they serve, but buy their meals and 
 eat them in their own quarters. For $1.50 a week (includ- 
 ing wages and rationes) the servant must support herself 
 and her family, with prices as I have outlined them. If 
 the family consist of three persons this is seven cents a day 
 apiece, with no allowance for clothes, and, worse than all, 
 nothing for the priest. But the priest will get two or three 
 cents of it. 
 
 I suppose the climate solves the riddle. It is so warm 
 here that the lamp of life burns little of the fatty carbons 
 of the body, so that they need but slight replenishment. 
 
 The visitor is tempted everywhere with fruits of every 
 strange shape and color, every delicious odor and flavor. 
 Almost every tree here seems to bear some sort of edible 
 thing. Yet fruit is dear in all tlie cities. Mexicans of the 
 poorer chvss eat queer things sometimes. ]\Iost of these 
 suburban canals are covered with what looks like a green 
 scum, but is I'cally, like most of the green " scum '" on 
 northci'ii ijonds, a line vegetable growth, a sort of cress, 
 wliic'li fi'('(|U('nts places of special fertility. Wlien Cortez 
 besieged the city, the inhabitants pieced out their rations 
 with this stuff skimmed from the pools, and thereby post- 
 poned their deatit by starvation. It was a lesson they never 
 forgot, and the peojile who dwell in these l)amboo huts 
 
FOOD AND DBINK. 177 
 
 make a sort of salad of this frail blossom of decay and pol- 
 lution. 
 
 But the Mexicans eat even odder things than this. There 
 are no fish in these great salt lakes near the city, but a re- 
 markable spotted reptile lives in them with a fish-like body, 
 four legs like a lizard, and webbed feet. It is a batrachian 
 of the salamander type, about 10 inches long, and its 
 flesh is white and toothsome. This hideous protean is de- 
 voured in great quantities by the peons, as were the toads, 
 tadpoles, lizards and bulrush piths by their ancestors. I 
 suppose there is some truth in what an old fellow who 
 was fond of horse-steaks told me in Paris last summer. 
 " Why we eat one thing "stead of another is Just a matter 
 of fashion, like the cut of a coat. Everything's good to 
 eat." 
 
 Another curious product of the Mexican lakes is a marsh 
 fly called "' axayacatl," which deposits its eggs in myriads 
 on flags and rushes, from which they are gathered by the 
 bushel and made into cakes that are sold in the market 
 and eaten with a relish ! I had read the description of this 
 food by the festive monk Thomas Gage, who wrought here 
 250 years ago : " The Indians gathered much of this and 
 kept it in Heaps, and made thereof Cakes, like unto Brick- 
 bats, and they did eat this Meal with as good a Stommach 
 as we eat Cheese; yea, and they hold opinion that this 
 Scum or fatness of the water is the cause that such great 
 number of Fowl cometh to Lake, which in the winter season 
 is infinite." These eggs, looking like fine fish roe, are still 
 collected in " Heaps " that look like haycocks along the 
 mud flats of the lake marge. The insects themselves, about 
 the size of a house fly, are also caught in enormous quan- 
 tities, pounded into a paste and boiled in corn husks. 
 
 I neglected the two or three opportunities I had to taste 
 of the eggs, but I atoned for that sin of omission by eating 
 some of the flies one morning. They are not bad. They 
 are pretty good. About like shrimps, grasshoppers and the 
 large red ants of Brazil. 
 
 12 ■■ ' 
 
178 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 I found them eating shark in Yucatan {" cazon," they 
 call it,) and our consul told me that if I would tarry an- 
 other day I should have some monkey steak. I Avas in a 
 hurry to catch the steamer and the opportunity to indulge 
 in the delicacy of the broiled simian was lost forever — or, 
 till I return, at any rate. Dear reader, there is hardly 
 anything that I wouldn't do for you. I even drank pulque 
 for you, and the flavor thereof lingers in my mouth as I 
 write, like a diabolical reminiscence. 
 
 During the dry season, in which for months no rain falls 
 here, the landscape is brown and barren, except where the 
 cactus lifts its evergreen spears, or a palm holds up its fan- 
 tastic umbrella, or an irrigated wheatfield shines with 
 grateful verdancy. The most obvious thing in all Mexico 
 is the cactus. Three sorts of cactus are very plentiful — the 
 beautiful organ cactus, which shows against the hillsides 
 everywhere, and holds up its straight and symmetrical 
 stalks like the huge pipes of a church-organ; the club 
 cactus, or prickly-pear, which is a perfect nest of pudding- 
 sticks uplifted with a very emphatic gesture; and the 
 maguey, or pulque cactus, the most prized plant of the 
 country. One sees this last everywhere, in every period 
 of growth, generally (as along the west slope of the Valley 
 of Mexico) carefully cultivated and stretching in straight 
 lines for miles and miles. Each plant is about as high as 
 it is broad, and its great spreading leaves cover from 100 to 
 4.00 square feet of ground. The fields are laid out with 
 mathematical symmetry, giving the whole valley a checker- 
 board appearance. The green aisles radiate from the train 
 in every direction at every foot of its progress. 
 
 There are several hundred known varieties of this gro- 
 tesque plant, but all the varieties are fleshy and srcculent, 
 and the_y liave in coiiinion tlu^ unconiinon peculiarity of 
 being able to tlirivo and ])r()(luco their magnificent blos- 
 soms only in the dryest and poorest soil. Lava or broken 
 bricks and mortar seem to be ]irefcrred. Their vital action 
 must be very sluggish. Their flowers range from pure 
 
FOOD AXD DEINK. 179 
 
 white through violet and jaink to a rich scarlet, and that of 
 the grandiflorus, nearly a foot in diameter, has a gorgeous 
 yellow calyx enclosing lovely white petals, and dies in a 
 single night. The forms of the cactus seem infinite. Some 
 are stately plants, like trees. Some are clambering vines. 
 Some look like hedgehogs; some look like cannon-balls 
 chained together; some look like writhing green snakes; 
 some look like lawn-tennis bats, stacked, or snapping-tur- 
 tles holding a mid-air convention and climbing up each 
 other's backs like the athletes at a circus forming a pyra- 
 mid. 
 
 Only three things are cheap in Mexico — pulque, flowers, 
 and politeness. Flowers of all kinds are about as cheap 
 as anything in the world — everybody can have a bouquet, 
 and almost everybody does. Pulque is considered cheap 
 by the natives, who have it to sell, because it is sold at a 
 cent a tumblerful, but it seems to me it would be dear at 
 a cent a hogshead. However, the people like it — the In- 
 dians, mestizoes and Creoles, nearly all. The Aztecs man- 
 ufactured pulque and got intoxicated on it, just as do the 
 Mexicans of to-day. It is the great national beverage — - 
 the lager-beer or hard cider of the land. Xo less than 20,- 
 000 gallons are said to be consumed in the city of Mexico 
 every day. 
 
 Byron calls attention to the great fact that "' man, being 
 reasonable, must get drunk." Therefore what would man 
 in Mexico do without pulque? It is strange indeed how 
 kind Nature provides for all the indispensible needs of the 
 human family ! The maguey plant makes its dwelling- 
 place on the Mexican highlands that stretch from moun- 
 tain to mountain, 7,000 feet above the sea. Each plant 
 has a short stem and from this it sends upward fifteen 
 feet high huge bayonets of green. The plant matures at 
 eight or ten years and will then yield that sweet milk 
 which ferments and becomes pulque. The tojD of the stem 
 is cut ofl! and enough of the heart removed to leave a nat- 
 ural receptacle holding two or three gallons. 
 
180 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 This is drawn out twice a day, and when a patriarch of 
 the mague}^ family feels real good it will yield a gallon 
 of the sweet sap every day for months together. This 
 juice is then emptied into an unshorn sheepskin turned 
 wrongside out and the feet tied up, in which it is trans- 
 ported to the place of fermentation. When thoroughly 
 spoiled it is fit for use. Everywhere the traveler meets 
 donkeys laden with these full skins, or a cargador will 
 trot along with one on the back of his neck, so smooth 
 and slippery and unctuous that it looks like a hog that 
 has perished with dropsy. I don't want any more of it. 
 I tried it the first day out for the benefit of the reader. 
 It looks like sour milk a week old, tastes like sour milk 
 a year old sweetened with assafoetida, and smells like Con- 
 stantinople. If I couldn't become inebriated on anything 
 but pulque, I would forego that pleasure for the remainder 
 of my life. 
 
 But the maguey plant is certainly a thing of beauty in 
 the landscape, and when one becomes superannuated and 
 farrow it ceases to give down, and then it suddenly shoots 
 upward a gigantic central stalk like a glorified telegraph- 
 pole, the top of which bursts into gorgeous bloom before 
 it dies, bearing in a clustered whorl a half-bushel of green- 
 ish yellow flowers, sometimes as man}^ as three thousand in 
 number. This is a bouquet for the gods, and it is the old 
 " century plant " that we have read of. The pulque pro- 
 duced along the valley of Toluca is famous for its supe- 
 riority. It is the worst there is. It is viciously strong and 
 th(> smell of it ascends to Heaven. 
 
 The maguey is almost as useful to the Mexicans as the 
 cocoa ])alin to the South Sea islander. In fact, I don't 
 know l)ut it lias a hundred uses, as tbat is alleged to have. 
 Wlion cattle arc famishing from tbirst they chew the succu- 
 lent leaves and survive. It also furnishes vinegar. Ad- 
 mirable paper is made from tbe pulp; twine, thread, sad- 
 dle-blankets, bags for packages, shoes, sandals and caps, 
 from tb.e fibers; soap fi-iMU tbe thick roots; excellent 
 
FOOD AXD DEINK. 181 
 
 needles from the thorns; clothes-brushes and razor hones 
 from the leaf ribs ; house-thatches from the leaves ; ropes 
 from the bark ; agua miel, pulque, mescal, and tequilla 
 from the sap; and its young sprouts are roasted in the 
 ashes and eaten with avidity as we eat roasted yams. This 
 extraordinary plant also contributes other luxuries to the 
 table of the peons; it. shelters a handsome white rat and 
 bears a nice brown worm which are often caught and 
 served up as delicacies. 
 
182 P0LK8 iNEXT DOOIi. 
 
 THE FLOATI^TQ GARDENS. 
 
 THE ZOCIIIMILCO CAISTAL. — IN' THE SUBURBS. — THE GAR- 
 DEXS HAVE MOSTLY COME TO ANCHOR. — AFLOAT ON A 
 BARGE. — FLOWERS GALORE. — LIKEWISE ODORS. — AN IN- 
 HERITANCE FROM THE AZTECS. 
 
 Of old I read, in Prescott and otherwheres, how, when 
 Cortez came, the city of Mexico was an island in Lake 
 Texcoco, and liow all the vegetables and flowers required 
 by the inhabitants were grown upon artificial '^ floating 
 gardens " along the shore — large flat baskets, filled with 
 rich earth and tethered to the bank. Of late years these 
 beautiful gardens — long since disappeared — have been de- 
 clared to be a fable, like G. W.'s little hatchet, William 
 Tell and Mrs. Harris — a sort of sun myth, borrowed from 
 the Aryans. 
 
 One morning last week two of us started off to investi- 
 gate the matter, my companion being a gentleman thor- 
 oughly acquainted in the neighborhood. Of course we 
 w^ent on horseback ; nobody travels any other way here, and 
 pedestrianism is a lost art. Southward we turned along 
 the route where Cortez first entered the city — then a mere 
 dike, now a network of solidly built streets housing a popu- 
 lation of a hundred thousand. The lake has retreated some 
 four or five miles east and south, and can now be seen only 
 from the steeples and high roofs. In the interval, beyond 
 the houses, stretches a broad low land, almost treeless and 
 shrubless, the water nowhere lying more than two or three 
 feet below the surface, and a few narrow canals leading 
 ofP toward the lake. It is an alluvium — a deposit of the 
 
THE FLOATING GARDENS. 183 
 
 floods of centuries with a slight intermixture of current 
 vegetation. 
 
 Through this, straight south, flows sluggishly the Zochi- 
 milco canal, 10 miles long and 20 feet wide, with a fine 
 1)ridle-path along its bank. We rode down the Paseo de 
 la Viga to the canal, then followed its banks for miles. On 
 the narrow strip of water, gliding softly down to the city 
 were scores of flat-bottomed boats, paddled by Indians in 
 the picturesque toggery of the poor, loaded with all sorts 
 of vegetables and " truck " from the gardens above. Pres- 
 ently we came to the gardens, stretching away to right 
 and left. Each one is some ten rods long and twenty feet 
 wide, and is surrounded by canals on three sides. These 
 canals are some ten feet wide and they wind among the 
 gardens everywhere. On some grow cabbages, on others 
 beets, lettuce, strawberries, peas, vetch, oats, poppies, roses 
 and many flowers and fruits whose forms and names are 
 strange to us. Around the water-flanked garden beds the 
 gardeners are paddling in their canoes or they have hitched 
 them to a twig and are weeding or tilling the growing 
 plants. On many of the small plats they are planting and 
 harvesting the same kind of crop, for it is eternal summer 
 here, and always seed-time and always harvest-time. 
 
 There are no rains, but watering the little gardens is 
 easy. The gardener paddles slowly around in his l)oat, 
 and with many a deft and slanting stroke upon the water, 
 dashes it in great jets across the bed. This is done two or 
 three times a day. These gardens are firm, or as firm as 
 any peat morass is likely to be; at any rate, they are not 
 " fioating." On some of the heavier of tht'se arc liuilt neat 
 liuts of light cane thatched with banana leaves, thoroughly 
 ventilated, for every wind must blow through them every- 
 where. This was merely a causeway, or a raised road in tlie 
 lake wlien tlie Spaniards first came, but it is now a very 
 solid road in the midst of a verdant and flower-embroidered 
 landscape. AVe gallop through a village or tw(\ mt'h a 
 queer little collection of residences crouching around a 
 
18i FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 church, and then we ride back through the miles of luxu- 
 riant canals to San iVnita, the Cone}'- Island of Mexico. 
 
 But there are floating gardens. 1 have found out that 
 much. They are six or eight miles further out, along the 
 borders of the lesser lake. They are not easily accessible 
 without a long and circuitous ride and a stop over night 
 at the lake. Of course the natural floating gardens, if there 
 ever were any, are vanished — the chinampas of the Aztecs, 
 which so excited the wonder and admiration of those who 
 had never seen them, formed of small masses of earth held 
 together by roots, and detached from the shores of the 
 lagoon during stormy weather. Those still in use are 
 mainly little rafts of reeds, rushes, roots and brushwood, 
 covered with black mold dredged up from the bottom. 
 These are usually fastened to the bank by long stakes 
 driven into the mud below, but there are growing strips of 
 verdure called cintas (ribbons), which still wander about 
 at their own sweet will. ' It is no uncommon thing, also, 
 for the Indians to cut out from the permanent field of the 
 cinta a mat of vegetation, resting on a multitude of water 
 plants, bulrush, reeds, rice, liliums, ranunculuses, etc., 
 which are said to have no attachment to the bottom of the 
 lake. I am told that occasionally an adventurous flower- 
 garden escaped from its tether, is found wrecked along 
 shore after a gale, like a freighted ship. But I cannot 
 verify this, for I have as yet encountered no storm in Mex- 
 ico. 
 
 San Anita, at the city end of the canal, is quite a lively 
 place. Here visitors who wish to take a boat-ride up the 
 filthy but picturesque water-way obtain their boat. Here 
 gather on Sundays and feast days the multitudes who de- 
 light in picnics. Here the tawny boatmen, as you ajoproach, 
 shout the virtues of their respective gondolas. To hear 
 them run on you would suppose that the boats surpassed 
 the glories of Cleopatra's barge, or Elaine's floating pal- 
 ace, but on inspection, you discover that they are rather 
 ordinary rigs of the mud-scow pattern with a white awn- 
 
THE FLOATING GAEDENS. 185 
 
 ing flimo- over the traveler's head. The boatman sometimes 
 paddles, but generally poles this vehicle, and when his 
 pole irritates the bottom of the lagoon, he rouses there- 
 from an infinite variety of smells that thrill the traveler 
 Avith the momentary illusion that he is in Constantinople. 
 The fancy is dispelled by the mouldering red fortresses and 
 yellow villas on the bank (one of which is pointed out as 
 Cortez's summer residence), and by the bamboo cottages 
 here and there under banana palms, along the flat land- 
 scape. 
 
 And by the flowers, also. I never saw^ so many flowers 
 as at San Anita and along the A^iga canal. The boat loads 
 of hay, and charcoal, and parti-colored picnickers, alter- 
 nate with boatloads of flowers. And so many and beauti- 
 ful that I have bought lovely flowers of the rarer sort at 
 San Anita at the rate of ten for a cent. It seems a sin to 
 cheapen roses so. The first thing the participant in Sun- 
 day festivities does is to crown himself with thick wreaths 
 of roses and poppies and corn flowers, got for the merest 
 trifle. 
 
 One of the redeeming traits the Aztec retains is his 
 love of flowers, which has survived three centuries of 
 tyranny. Long after the domination of Cortez here the 
 Aztecs would stealthily visit their old prostrate god, Huil- 
 zilopochtli, lying on his back where the conquerors had 
 flung him, and lovingly wreath him with garlands of flow- 
 ers. I have always suspected that Cortez and his priests 
 lied about that old fellow. 
 
 In every church you find flowers in profusion before 
 every image of the Virgin. Large button-hole bouquets of 
 violets are sold at San Anita for a " tlaco ""• — two cents — 
 and a gentleman Avho bought a huge bouquet there for 
 twenty-five cents, took it to pieces and found it to consist 
 of thirty red roses, fifty white ones, tAventy-seven violets, 
 thirty heliotropes, and more than tAventy Avhitc and thirty 
 pink rose-buds. To be sure, all the roses of Araby Avould 
 scarce suflice to Avash out the stain of the multitudinous 
 

 186 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 smells which a lack of drainage for a million years or so 
 has concentrated here; but if one can hold his breath for 
 three or four hours, I know of nothing more exhilarating 
 or interesting than a forenoon upon the Zoehimilco 
 canal. 
 
MANNERS AND CUSTOMS. 187 
 
 
 MANNERS ANP CUSTOMS. 
 
 COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE. — WIVES AT TWELVE AND FOUK- 
 
 TEEN. OLD MAIDS AT SIXTEEN. MARRIAGE OFTEN AN 
 
 UNATTAINABLE LUXURY. — BALCONY COURTSHIPS. THE 
 
 MEXICAN DUDE.^ HIS COSTUME AND HABITS. HOW TILE 
 
 GIRL IS BARGAINED OFF. " HOW PRETTY SHE IS ! " TILE 
 
 CRACK UNDER THE DOOR. 
 
 In Mexico marriages do not take place at quite so early 
 an age as they do in Calcutta, where little girls marry at 
 six or eight, and generally have their first babies at ten, 
 but even here the peons marry at twelve or thirteen, and 
 very few remain unmarried at fifteen. An unmarried girl 
 of sixteen is regarded as an old maid. 
 
 In the ante-Diaz years the word " marry " was usually 
 applied to the peons in a Pickwickian sense. More than 
 half of them raised families without ever marrying. They 
 were so religious that they scorned a civil marriage and so 
 poor that they could not afford to pay a $15 fee to the 
 priest. So, Jose and Lupie often said " all same ! " 
 and lived together without any ceremony whatever. I say 
 Jose and Lupie, because these are probably their names. 
 In modern Mexico almost every Indian boy is christened 
 " Jose "' and almost every Indian girl " Guadalupe •' — 
 of which " liupie " is the pet diminutive. It should be 
 added that in these latter days marriage has become fash- 
 ionable, even among the peons. A civil marriage costs 
 nothing, so the priests have had to reduce their exac- 
 tions. 
 
 Even those of Spanish descent marry young — and how 
 they manage it is a mystery to me. For their young peo- 
 
188 FOLKS XEXT DOOE. 
 
 pie of different sexes are sedulously kept apart. Court- 
 ships of the higher classes generally begin with the se- 
 norita on her balcony and her adorer on horseback in the 
 street below. 
 
 Love making in this country is a desperate passion — 
 it is no trifling bit of sentiment. The Mexican is an ani- 
 mal of rude instincts in this matter. In fact, Mexicans 
 — I mean the ruling class, the men with white blood in 
 their veins — do not trust each other. 
 
 Before marriage the girl is kept under constant vigilance, 
 perhaps not permitted to speak to her lover till he has 
 courted her for months in her balcony cage from his perch 
 on horseback, or to be in his presence alone until after mar- 
 riage. 
 
 Come to the balcony (every upper window in the city 
 has a balcony) and look out on one of these dashing caval- 
 leroes in his dress-parade costume. Memoranda : a pranc- 
 ing horse that goes with the pleasant pace called " single 
 step," a spirited, splendid creature with bright eyes and 
 broad chest, and saddle and trappings that cover him al- 
 most out of sight; his rider in a short leather jacket, be- 
 dizened with silver embroidery under which twinkles a navy 
 revolver in a sash ; pantaloons of grey stuff tight as a can- 
 dle-mold, decorated with two rows of half dollars up the 
 outside of each leg, so close as almost to touch, and braided 
 together with gold cord; silver spurs as big as saucers, 
 dangling from his heels and outweighing his boots five to 
 one ; the stirrups sheltered with two square feet of leather ; 
 a great yellow felt sombrero on his head with a gold cable 
 large enough to hold a captive bull wound around and 
 around it, and the broad thick brim bearing up a heavy ara- 
 1)esquc of gold; a cascade of turbulent frills in his shirt 
 bosom and a red scarf around his waist; then the horse 
 so trained that the rider never uses the rein, but bends 
 slightly to right or left to indicate his wish. It is a gor- 
 geous sight, and a pleasant sight. I wisli ihe dress-parade 
 costume of swell New Yorkers were half as attractive. 
 
MANNERS AND CUSTOMS. 189 
 
 This fellow is probably one of the dudes of Mexico — 
 perhaps a wealth}^ 3'oiing planter or haciendado, for his 
 mozo, or groom, rides respectfully behind him, dressed a 
 good deal more soberly and wearing stuck in the saddle- 
 sheath a machete — a broad, savage-looking sword. Tliis 
 warlike rig is a survival of the time when personal de- 
 fense was needed, as it is not anywhere needed now. The 
 mozo is dignified, and ever looks straight at his master, as 
 who should sa}^ '" there he goes. His farm is a thousand 
 square miles, and that hat on him cost seventy-five dollars 
 if it cost a cent." 
 
 This gorgeous cavalier is not riding gently up and down 
 beneath the window for fun. No. He is on business bent. 
 Watch him and you shall detect his purpose. On the high 
 balcony across the street is a shimmer of Avhite and pink 
 behind the fluttering curtains fifty feet above the pave- 
 ment. A girl of the period is in ambush there. She has 
 scarcely met a young man in her life face to face except in 
 the presence of all the family and at stifl: parties in the 
 " danza " — so slow a movement as to be adapted to those fu- 
 nerals where the solemn Shakers dance. She has not yet 
 been bargained off by the old folks, and she half-clandes- 
 tinely watches the spangled being below, who has caught 
 a glimpse of her somewhere and thirsts to possess her. He 
 rides slowly and looks up at the awning through which 
 she peeps. He turns at the corner of the street and rides 
 back, watching the balcony. He holds out his hand, with- 
 draws it, lays it on his embroidered vest, and indulges in 
 other gestures supposed to indicate entreaty or protesta- 
 tion. A flutter of the curtain raises his hopes and he 
 spurs his steed into a caracole. The mozo prances around 
 and watches him, but quite out of the way. It begins to 
 rain. Does the bejeweled hidalgo retreat and seek a shel- 
 ter. Oh, no. He attests his sincerity and fervency by defy- 
 ing the elements. He acts as if quite unconscious of the 
 storm : he sits still and lets it beat on him. He would 
 drown rather than desert his post. If, in pity, she consents 
 
190 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 to smile on him or drops a flower, he withdraws wildly 
 happy, and resumes the courtship next day. This funny 
 spectacle is called " making the hear." 
 
 If she has smiled upon him, she takes the next step 
 towards an acquaintance. She possesses herself of a toy 
 telephone or constructs one with a couple of tomato cans 
 connected by a string, and one of these she gleefully lets 
 down from her balcony on his return. The vibration of the 
 disks carries the voice tolerably well, and the young caval- 
 lero welcomes the facility for conversation as an important 
 concession and is duly grateful — as he ought to be. What 
 they whisper to one another, we may not know. This tele- 
 phone contrivance is a nocturnal amusement ; the bashful 
 girl declines to let down her little cup full of coquettish 
 consideration in the garish sunlight. 
 
 And by and by, when they have said enough sweet noth- 
 ings to one another, the cavallero dismounts and makes 
 his way to the presence of her father, and asks his permis- 
 sion to marry his daughter. The old gentleman asks how 
 much the visitor is worth. If he is rich, the way is made 
 smooth. But perhaps he is a poor clerk in a store or a 
 salesman in the market. Then the father says, '' You have 
 very' little money; can you support my daughter in com- 
 fort ? " 
 
 " Ah, I think so, sir. I will try hard. I have $100 in 
 the bank, and a wage of $3 a week, and expect promo- 
 tion." 
 
 "Very well, senor; I will ask my daughter what she 
 thinks of it and if she is willing to be a ])oor num's 
 wife." 
 
 The fact that her father is rich is not taken into account 
 by any of the trio. He may be a millionaire; no matter; 
 no Mexican's daughter receives a dowry when she becomes 
 a bride. If she choose to wed a i)oor man, she must live 
 in a lowly cottage, while her unnuu'ried sisters dwell in the 
 palace. This may not l)e always comlortable, but it is the 
 defense of the countrv, for the absence of the " dot "" cer- 
 
MANATEES AND CUSTOMS. 191 
 
 tainly cuts the ground from under the feet of the Euro- 
 pean fortune-hunter. No bankrupt British earl " makes 
 a bear " beneath the balcony of the Mexican senorita. 
 
 The ladies of Mexico of the better class never walk in 
 the streets, and they drive to the paseo generally in closed 
 carriages, leaving open barouches to the men ; and in shop- 
 ping excursions they do not enter the stores, but have the 
 clerks bring out the goods required, where they spend 
 their time examining textures and cheapening prices at the 
 curbstone. 
 
 It has been barely a generation since a lady, even an 
 American, could walk through the streets of Mexico alone 
 in the daytime without being grossly insulted. Men used 
 to look her straight in the eye and say whatever they 
 chose. As to their own wives, they are still prisoners gen- 
 erally. They are seldom permitted to walk or ride out for 
 a moment without their husbands, unless the need is very 
 imperative. One call from any gentleman may compro- 
 mise any married woman in the city of Mexico. It is not 
 believed to be possiljle that a woman can innocently appear 
 alone upon the street, or that she can receive a gentleman 
 in her parlor without criminal intent. An American lady 
 who boards at the Hotel Iturbide tells me of a Spanish- 
 ]\Iexican wife there who, though as well as imprisonment 
 will permit, has not been out of her room once in seven 
 weeks, except to go to church (confessional doubtless) once 
 on Sundays ! Her meals are sent to her. To see American 
 ladies out shopping seems to both tyrants and victims a 
 degrading spectacle. 
 
 I wouldn't like to be a young girl in " May-he-co," as 
 they call this land — or a young fellow either. It is consid- 
 ered quite imprudent for them to speak to each other till 
 they have virtually become engaged, or to see each other 
 without the presence of third parties till they are married. 
 To behold a Mexican youth at his first courtship gazing 
 lackadaisically at a brown girl a hundred feet distant on an 
 upper balcony, whom he has never been permitted to speak 
 
192 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 to, holding his steed immovable and gazing up, keeping 
 his place with unwinking eye an hour at a time and com- 
 ing there day after day, week after week, rain or shine, 
 especially rain, drenched to the skin, persistent and pas- 
 sionate — well, I know few more edifying spectacles. In 
 two months, if he is lucky, he Avill be able to get into the 
 house and sit in the " front room "' with the old folks. 
 And in two months more he will marry the girl and lock 
 her up. 
 
 In some cities of the Republic a curious habit prevails 
 of complimenting unknown ladies on the street. Of course, 
 the lady is accompanied by father, brother, mother or 
 duenna, and it is considered by all parties quite proper 
 for the passing admirer to say : '^ How pretty she is ! " or 
 " What a dainty hand ! "" or "" What fine eyes ! '' or " What 
 a lovely foot ! " Then the object of admiration turns and 
 says to the stranger with her sweetest senile : " Mille gra- 
 cias, Senor ! " (A thousand thanks!) I know gentlemen 
 who have tried this with distinguished success. I have 
 never performed the feat myself, for I am naturally ner- 
 vous. 
 
 At Vera Cruz I saw an odd illustration of this Span- 
 ish-Mexican love-making. Negotiating for some cigars in 
 a little store I ol^served a man through the window in a 
 lane bowed on his face on the threshold of a door. He 
 was dressed in dark clothes, I thought, though all I could 
 see was the seat of his pantaloons and tlie soles of his shoes. 
 I conjectured that he was at prayer, for his attitude was 
 not unlike that of numerous peons around the street kneel- 
 ing in the vicinity of churches; but there was no churrb or 
 altar, and he did not rise to cross himself. And ho stirred 
 no more than the stone doorsill. 
 
 " What do you think he is doing? " askr<l ilic ti-;ulosiuan, 
 smiling. 
 
 ''Ho is at prayer," I answoi'od, '" ami wnndoi'Tully de- 
 vout. He doesn't seem to stir at nil." 
 
 " You are mistaken," he said. " Xol)tuly Init the peons 
 
MANNERS AND CUSTOMS. 193 
 
 are religious. Nobody prays in this country who has a 
 whole suit of clothes." 
 
 I knew the speech was an exaggeration, and felt it to 
 be ujinecessary, but I guessed again. " Then he must 
 be dead. Is he dead ? " 
 
 '' No ! he's making love. It's rather an odd case, even 
 for Mexico," said the speaker in good English, for, though 
 a Spaniard, he had lived in New York. " That door is 
 locked. The girl is there, locked in alone. Her father is 
 off looking after his mules. I fancy he doesn't like the 
 young man, but I never saw them speak. That chap has 
 got his mouth to the crack under that door, and he is whis- 
 pering very busily, and I suppose the girl is on the other 
 side listening. By-and-by the old man will come home and 
 a minute before he gets here the chap Avill rise from his 
 knees, where he has been for hours, and glide away through 
 the backyard. To-morrow the old man will go out and lock 
 the girl in, and half a minute after he turns around the 
 corner of the building up the street that chap will drop on 
 his knees at that door and lie there all day as if he was 
 eating cobble-stones." 
 
 " By-and-by," I suggested, reflectively, " that old fiend 
 may come home unexpectedly and catch that piece of devo- 
 tion on the toe of his boot and make him wish he had beeu 
 slain in the French war." As I spoke I saw that young 
 man suddenly nestle, as if with a premonition of the return 
 of his venerable adversary. When I left he was still at his 
 devotions. 
 
 I bought a hundred cigars. They were wretched ones. 
 They burned all along up the side and set fire to the mous- 
 tache. They must have been filled with some variety of 
 cactus, or perhaps the bark of a cocoanut. I made a pres- 
 ent of them to a friend who I heard had said I was a 
 fool. 
 
 Ever since that day I have wondered if the devout-look- 
 ing figure in the alley was not a stool-pigeon posing as an 
 exhibition to divert the attention of Americans from their 
 
194 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 purchases and to enable the shrewd tradesman to work off 
 his bogus cigars. But I think not, for his performances 
 were just what might be expected from the insanity of 
 these Mexican swains. 
 
THE LAST OF EAETH. 195 
 
 THE LAST OF EAETH. 
 
 FUNERALS ON STREET CARS. THE UNDERTAKING OF THE 
 
 UNDERTAKER. — ON A RUN. HIRED COFFINS. — THE JOLLY 
 
 SEXTONS. — WAITING AT " THE GLORY OF THE WORLD." 
 
 The funerals of Mexico all seem grotesque to American 
 eyes. Yonder goes one — on the street cars. The front car 
 is draped in white, after the manner of a hearse, and bears 
 only the deceased, the undertaker and the driver. Forty 
 years ago the projector of the new horse-car lines here con- 
 ceived the idea of making bereavement pay a tribute to 
 his coffers. So he bought all the hearses — every one — and 
 when the next death occurred he offered to the afflicted 
 relatives the only alternative — his decorated tramway 
 hearses and mourning cars running straight into the ceme- 
 tery. The priests, by a financial consideration, were made 
 a party to the arrangement, and it became thereafter al- 
 most impossible to sleep in consecrated ground except by 
 use of the very worldly-minded horse-car. 
 
 Then came the problem of speed. How could the fu- 
 neral cortege creep in mournful slowness when it was neces- 
 sary for the other cars to go very fast ? The two conditions 
 were incompatible, and a compromise was finally made by 
 the gallop being adopted by all horses on street cars, what- 
 ever their burden or mission. So at the present day in 
 Mexico, an average funeral presents to the unaccustomed 
 eye the suggestion of the sexton running away with the 
 corpse. 
 
 Of course there are no interments under ground in this 
 saturated city, or even in the valley of which it is the 
 center. The cities of the dead are twelve to twenty miles 
 
19() • FOLKS NEXT DOOK. 
 
 off, on the mountain ^^onder, a hundred feet above the level 
 of the capital. Many times a day — especially in the sum- 
 mer months — spacious and stylish catafalques are seen 
 going up the street on a run, followed by very volatile 
 mourning cars. A white hearse with six horses, four driv- 
 ers and two gold-embroidered lacqueys, costs $120. A plain 
 one, drawn by an inadequately-fed mule, is $3. Mourning 
 electric cars cost from $2 to $15 each. And whenever the 
 speedy funeral cortege whisks by, all people upon the street 
 hasten to get out of the way, then pause and face it with 
 uncovered heads. 
 
 Sometimes, indeed, the coffin is carried, not on electric 
 car or horse car, or in carriage, but on the stout shoulders 
 of a peon, the whole family and anourning friends slowly 
 following on foot to the graveyard in the distant hills, so 
 far off that the little procession takes two days for the jour- 
 ney. Sometimes, when the relatives of the dead are too 
 230or for even this scanty honor, the body is buried at the 
 expense of the city. 
 
 The habit of hiring coffins for a day and returning them 
 in the evening to the undertaker is not confined wholly to 
 Mexico, but probably it is more widely practised here than 
 in any other land. I have seen an Egyptian funeral in 
 Cairo, the deceased borne high upon a camel, the white face 
 exposed to the garish sun, and all over Egypt it is custom- 
 ary to return the coffin to the owner, if the occupant was 
 poor. But here the funeral of the penniless is far more 
 humble. Not only is the coffin hired, but the lid is left 
 loose, and the whole is carried ujjon a porter's back to 
 the grave several miles outside the city. I saw such a 
 funeral at Morolia. The procession consisted of four per- 
 sons — the porter, staggering under his uncanny burden, two 
 women wailing rhythmically in concert, and a child tod- 
 dling behind. I joined the group and respectfully accom- 
 panied thein to a distant field, where the porter put his 
 freight down, took from the loosely-tied coffin a spade, dug 
 a shallow grave, moved the coffin around bv the side of it, 
 
THE LAST OF EAETH. 197 
 
 carefully rolled it over and spilled the human remains into 
 a coarse serape of hemp, lowered them into the grave, 
 shoveled in the earth again, and the procession wound its 
 wailing way home. 
 
 From our halcony one day I saw two peons, dirty and 
 only half clad, giving to a dead man the last earthly at- 
 tention. The solemnity of the occasion did not occur to 
 them, and they were full of merriment. They played 
 tricks on each other as they proceeded. One of them bore 
 the dead in a rude coffin on his back, while the other, tak- 
 ing advantage of his companion's helpless attitude, amused 
 himself by tickling and pinching him in exposed parts 
 and slapping him behind occasionally with a short spade he 
 carried. They laughed a great deal and the porter whirled 
 round and round in the street with his burden, crying out 
 to his tormenter, doubtless saying. " Wait till it is your 
 turn, and I'll get even ! " 
 
 Presently they paused in the middle of the next block, 
 took each of them hold of the loose rope that alone held 
 the lid on, and lowered the coffin and placed it on the curb- 
 stone. Then they laughed some more and went into the 
 pulque shop bearing across the front of it the sign " The 
 Glory of the World." I watched the lonely thing they had 
 left on the sidewalk, and wondered if somebody would come 
 along and hitch his mule to it. No; a lean dog wandered 
 down street and inspected it, gently nosing the lid aside, 
 and, after looking in the box and discovering nothing that 
 he wanted, zigzagged off and took a drink at the next door- 
 post. Wagons trundled past it within two or three feet 
 and the usual crowd of wayfarers made their way merrily 
 along the sidewalk; but I noticed that some of the women 
 hurriedly crossed themselves, as they became conscious of 
 the ghastly presence, and most of the men made a hasty 
 snatch at their hats even in the midst of a good story. 
 
 Pretty soon the porters came out of the pulqueria, wiped 
 their lips, lighted fresh cigarettes, and resumed their bur- 
 den, the man who carried the spade now toting the coffin on 
 
198 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 his head and shoulders, and receiving, as they strolled up 
 the street, many little tokens of encouragement from the 
 spadebearer by way of facetious reciprocity. 
 
 In the cemetery at Guadalupe two miles from Mexico is 
 the grave of ^anta Anna. Not far away is the famous 
 church of the Virgin of Guadalupe, with cords of crutches 
 and spectacles thrown away by those who have been healed 
 at its shrine. This virgin is the first saint in the Ameri- 
 can calendar. Here in 1531 — in the midst of the atrocities 
 of Cortez — " the most Holy Virgin appeared to a poor In- 
 dian, as he was on his way to mass. After commanding 
 that a church be built on the spot in her honor, she filled 
 his blanket with fiowers and disappeared. When Jose cast 
 the flowers at the feet of the Bishop, lo ! there was revealed 
 in the rough blanket an image of the Holy Virgin." 
 
 To this sanctuary flock every year footsore pilgrims from 
 all parts of the country to celebrate the twelfth of Decem- 
 ber. Processions come hundreds of miles. I saw a curious 
 sight in the streets of Mexico — a little band of these pious 
 wayfarers, consisting, apparently, of parents and their 
 daughters. The female penitents proceeded on their knees 
 along a carpet laid on the pavement. There were two 
 pieces of carpet, and a couple of peons constantly took up 
 the rearward carpet and placed it in front as the family ad- 
 vanced over it. I judged that the journey would take 
 several days at the pace at which they traveled. Having 
 something else to do, my attention was diverted long before 
 they were out of sight. It struck me, however, that they 
 were not half so devout as those monks who used to walk 
 on broken glass. 
 
HABITS AND MORALS. 199 
 
 HABITS AND MORi^LS. 
 
 MIXING OF RACES. — UNIVERSAL POLITENESS. — " PASSE 
 
 USTED.'" JEALOUSY OF AMERICANS. CRUELTY OF THE 
 
 WHITES. — LAZINESS FASHIONABLE. — DO WE WANT MEX- 
 ICO ? — SCHOOLS. 
 
 Tpie process of mixing races has been pretty thorough 
 in Mexico. About one-half of the people are still pure In- 
 dians, a third inestizoes (a blending of Spanish and In- 
 dians), and the rest whites. Spanish is almost universally 
 spoken, though there is a tribe at the base of the great 
 volcano, Jorulla, out on the National Railway, said to speak 
 only the aboriginal dialect, and to refuse to hold any in- 
 tercourse whatever with whites. I need not say that they 
 have the very best of reasons for this exclusiveness. After 
 the results of the Spanish invasion, what wonder that they 
 decline to intermarry ? 
 
 I have never seen a more polite people than these ; in 
 fact, they beat all the others out of sight. When I say 
 " these " I mean not only the Spaniard and his descend- 
 ants, who may be supposed to have had good breeding, 
 but the Mexican also — the molasses-colored Indian, with a 
 pair of dirty cotton drawers on and a tattered serape of 
 many colors flung across the shoulders. The latter are 
 very conciliatory and yielding — as hospitable and good- 
 natured as they were when Montezuma invited Cortez to 
 come and dwell in one of his royal palaces and bring his 
 folks. It is a common thing to see two tatterdemalions 
 pause on the street and take off their ragged hats to each 
 other and embrace as fervently as if they were kings. 
 They are said to be afflicted with parasites; but that, per- 
 
200 FOLKS 2^EXT DOOR. 
 
 haps, is because they are attractive and kind to dumb 
 brutes — anyhow it is a mere incident. 
 
 When you are first introduced to a Mexican of position, 
 he will probably say : " x4h, very dear friend ! consider my 
 house yours ! " But if you go to take possession of it he 
 will very properly set the dog on you. He does not mean 
 what he says practically, but he means it sentimentally. 
 He is emphatic, and explicit, and very comprehen- 
 sive. " Make my house your property ! " he will exclaim ; 
 '' my house — remember ! No. 124 Calle de Eodriguez — is 
 yours ; my horses are yours ; my carriage is yours ! " — and 
 he sometimes adds, I am told, " My wife is yours; my chil- 
 dren are yours " — but it seems to me this is going too far. 
 At any rate, you never come into your property without 
 sundry other formalities. 
 
 To see two Spaniards of about equal position get through 
 a door is enough to bring tears of laughter to the eyes of 
 a mummy. They approach the portal together ; one of 
 them opens it and both exclaim eagerly, extending one 
 arm its full length and looking at each other, " Passe 
 listed!" (Go you first.) 
 
 " ISTo ! oh no ! " says one, "" passe usted! " 
 
 "No; not at all!" exclaims the othei", spreading l)oth 
 arms as if about to fly, "passe usted!" 
 
 Then the first spreads his wings resolutely, declines to 
 advance, and explains to the other in brisk Spanish that 
 it would be grossly improper and impertinent for him to 
 take precedence of a hidalgo of such lofty family and ex- 
 cellent blood. 
 
 Then the second returns to the comliat, insists tliat liis 
 family position is really a very hunil)le one, and tlint it 
 would be the height of presumption, in fact scarcely less 
 than usurpation, for him to go through a door oi' any other 
 sort of hole ahead of a don of such a sjilendid lineage as 
 the other man. 
 
 TluMi llic other man comes 1)nck at him and wavrs his 
 arms again in violent de])reeation, and says lie hopes he 
 
HABITS AND MORALS, 201 
 
 knows his place, and that before he has the audacit)^ not to 
 saj temerity, to assume a position which rightly belongs to 
 his superior — at this point you climb under their numerous 
 arms and skip through, so as not to miss the train. 
 
 There is one custom here unknown in the United States 
 that is very pretty and Avorth copying. In salutations the 
 bow is dropped almost entirely, and in its place is substi- 
 tuted a smile and a stretching forth of the hand w^ith 
 npturned palm and a rapid motion of the fingers on a level 
 with the eyes. It seems like beckoning. When the 
 clons and grandees go out driving at five o'clock in their 
 two-horse carriages (a thousand of these now, against 
 fifty only twenty years ago) and go slowly out to the Paseo, 
 recognizing friends on the balconies all along, the 
 effect of the suddenly and frequently uplifted hand and 
 fluttering fingers of greeting is quite pretty and significant, 
 and one might well wish it substituted for our formal and, 
 at its best, rather stiff, bow. Gentlemen in carriages or on 
 horseback lift their hats, as of old, sometimes adding the 
 manual salute besides. 
 
 Probably there is no more real kindheartedness and sin- 
 cere helpfulness here than with us, but the manners are 
 more lubricated, and I cannot help feeling that we should 
 be better off if we practised more politeness, even in out- 
 ward form. " He who expects good luck will get it,' says 
 the adage. So he who practices courtesy habitually will 
 be likelier to entertain that good feeling of which courtesy 
 is the outward sign. 
 
 The peons dress the same all over Mexico — in two cotton 
 garments that have once been white, the upper garment for 
 both sexes being a shirt, and the nether garment being 
 drawers for men and a skirt for women. These degenerate 
 through every degree of color and texture to the fortuitous 
 rags of the tatterdemalions that inhabit every land. Be- 
 side these two pieces of more or less imperfect apparel, the 
 better class of peons wear shoes that somebody else has 
 worn out first, or very rude leathern sandals, with straps 
 
202 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 coming up between the toes; and some of the men add to 
 the costume immense straw thimbles for hats, large- 
 brimmed and room}^ They are polite people, for when you 
 look at one he generally removes his hat quickly, and nim- 
 bly irritates his scalp with his unoccupied fingers. Pos- 
 sibly they also perform this mystic rite when they are not 
 observed, but nobody has ever been able to find out. All 
 classes who are exposed to the chill of night or the midday 
 sun have one protective wrap, known generally as the sc- 
 rape for men, and the rebosa for women. The former is a 
 large woolen blanket, the latter a cotton shawl. The re- 
 bosa is thrown over the head and wound around the neck ; 
 the serape is worn like the capa of Castile, and nearly like 
 the Roman toga; it is drawn about the body once or twice, 
 and the corner is flung with light dexterity over the left 
 shoulder, where it sticks through every jar and jostle as 
 if it were fastened by a phantom button. These wraps 
 rise through, all grades of excellence, and are often made 
 of silk or of the finest wool. All tropical birds delight in 
 high colors; so do these Indians, mulattoes, meztizoes and 
 exotic Spaniards, and their attire is of all combinations of 
 red and green and blue and yellow. I saw this morning a 
 fluttering gang of convicts go up the street to work, led 
 by a soldier with a revolver in his hand and followed 
 closely by two more. Their clothes were of all degrees 
 of picturesque patchwork, but one ragged pair of yellowish 
 trousers, seated with blue in the form of a heart, and worn 
 with jaunty grace, gave an air of pensive beauty to the en- 
 tire outfit. 
 
 The street costume is very picturesque, but if changes go 
 on at the present rate it will, in a few years, lose its dis- 
 tinctive features. The dress parade apparel of the well-to- 
 do citizen seems to nic the handsomest dress worn l)y tbe 
 male bi])cd in this age. It is an equestrian dress, of course, 
 for tbe well-to-do citizen in Mexico is always on horseback. 
 Walking is a lost art; in fact, gentlemen stand so little 
 that their feet are dwarfed and slirunken to inerediMe 
 
HABITS AND MORALS. 203 
 
 smallness. I am told that the Spanish and Mexicans of the 
 upper classes here wear, on an average, No. 5, while many 
 of them wear the smaller ladies' sizes. 
 
 The dons and senoras of Mexico have a fine background 
 in the peons, who still number more than half of the popu- 
 lation. The elaborate dress of the one find an admirable 
 foil in the simple undress of the other. The streets are 
 full of peons — an ignorant, squalid, warm-hearted people. 
 Most of them wear a shawl of some sort, and in the morn- 
 ing and evening the wearer draws this garment up around 
 the mouth, as if hoping to protect himself against the pu- 
 tridity generated in the bottom of this undrained valley. 
 
 Many of the women wear a little piece of black paper 
 pasted on each temple, looking like the label of a spool of 
 silk. Go down and ask one what it is for and she will 
 say, " Headache, master ! If it were not for that prevent- 
 ive I should die of headache ! " 
 
 Bonnets are not worn here, except by a few score of the 
 donnas, who are imitating foreigners. The United States 
 consul told me that in 1878 a member of his family had 
 to send to New Orleans for a bonnet. There was not one 
 for sale in all Mexico. 
 
J04 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 INFLUENCE OF THE SPANIARDS. 
 
 MEXICO AYHEN COHTEZ LANDED. AVIIAT THE CONQUERORS 
 
 BROUGHT. — THE SAVORD AND THE CROSS AND TPIE RACK. — 
 NATIVES REDUCED PROM THIRTY MILLIONS TO SEVEN MIL- 
 LIONS. — CRIPPLES. — SLAVERY ESTABLISHED BY THE 
 CHURCH. IT OWNED A THIRD OF ALL THE PROPERTY. 
 
 The spirit of the twentietli century has at last entered 
 into Mexico, and this republic is swapping its serape for 
 a cut-away coat, and its donkey for a locomotive, and join- 
 ing the ranks of enlightened nations. It is high time. For 
 three centuries and a half of Spanish domination, this 
 beautiful and fertile country steadily retrograded, and 
 it is not to-day so far advanced in agriculture or manufac- 
 tures, in health or wealth, in manners or morals, as it was 
 ivhen Cortez, beholding the snowy peak of Orizaba afar, 
 pressed forward towards that luminous " Star of the Sea "" 
 and planted the cross upon the sands of Vera Cruz. A sad 
 comment, indeed, it is, that ever since " The Christian sol- 
 dier '' overthrew the altars of paganism on the teocalli, 
 this country has steadily declined in population, prosjjerity 
 and happiness. When Cortez began his brilliant career 
 of perfidy and butchery for the sake of converting the 
 heathen, ]\re.\ieo had thirty millions of natives — three times 
 as many as she has to-day — and they were better clad, 
 heller housed, better fed than they have ever been since. 
 If the Sjianiards had not introduced disease and starva- 
 tion, if Cortez had been poisoned by his Indian mistress, 
 Marina, or if he had l)een offered as a sacrifice by IMonte- 
 zuma, as be ouiiht to have been, when he made his first 
 
INFLUENCE OF THE SPANIARDS. 20-5 
 
 lying advances to that mild sovereign, Mexico would have 
 been spared centuries of suffering and degradation. Cor- 
 tez found plenty and left consuming poverty; he found a 
 gentle religion of ignorance, probably harmless and com- 
 paratively bloodless, in spite of the lies about the " sacri- 
 ficial stone," and he left the priest, the inquisition and the 
 rack; he found buxom and boisterous health, and he 
 planted mysterious and loathsome diseases which swept 
 off millions of people; he found unfettered freedom, 
 and . he substituted the lash and the chains of chattel 
 slavery. 
 
 A large majority of all the wars of the world have beon 
 religious wars, and perhaps the most terrible of these was 
 that religious war of eight hundred years which ended with 
 the discovery of America — a war of which Spain was the 
 great battlefield, and in which the cross and the crescent, 
 upborne by frantic Moslem and Christian, were continually 
 bathed in human blood. Spain was for centuries a horrible 
 slaughterhouse of creeds. To torture a Mohammedan was 
 regarded as a deed on which angels smiled approval, and to 
 kill a heretic insured forgiveness for all sins. Men's 
 hearts were filled with religious rapacity. It was in this 
 spirit that SjDaniards turned from the conversion of the 
 Moors to the conversion of the Mexicans. 
 
 It is a mistake to suppose that the conquest of Mexico 
 was undertaken for gold or silver, for greed or empire. 
 These were merely incidental. It was a continuation of 
 those wicked " crusades " which had desolated Europe and 
 the East, and was prosecuted by religious zealots, who 
 sincerely felt that the death of a thousand was of no con- 
 sequence if they could thereby baptize a hundred. Just 
 before attacking the Aztec army Cortez published an ad- 
 dress to his soldiers, protesting that his principal motive 
 was "to wean the natives from their idolatry and to im- 
 part to them the knowledge of a purer faith; " and adding, 
 '• The conversion of the heathen is the work most accept- 
 able in the eye of the Almighty, and the prime object of 
 
30G FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 the expedition, without which the war would be manifestly 
 unjust, and every acquisition made by it a robbery ! " 
 
 We have been told by the historian of Cortez's expedi- 
 tion how every crime was resorted to for the attainment of 
 this end; how, on visiting Cholula, the Holy City of Ana- 
 huae, and being hospitably received, he suddenly turned on 
 his unsuspecting entertainers and butchered 6,000 of them 
 in one forenoon, merely because another tribe, with which 
 the Cholulans were at war, charged them with treachery; 
 how his chief ruffian, Alvarado (whom Satan afterward as- 
 sisted to leap a ditch in this vicinity), while at peace with 
 the Aztecs and a guest in their city, foully fell upon six 
 hundred of the finest of the Aztec nobility while at a ball, 
 and killed them every one and robbed the corpses of their 
 jewels; how he plunged peaceful nations into war; how, 
 after killing Montezuma, having promised to protect the 
 young and gallant emperor, Guatemozin, and professed to 
 be his friend, he basely took him into the woods and 
 hanged him to a tree ; how he supplemented a courage that 
 had won for him the admiring wonder of the world with a 
 treachery which entitles him to universal execration. While 
 such men as Cortez are possible, the Universalist church 
 will be a failure. The " commander " strove to excuse his 
 acts on the ground that he was destroying the terrible god 
 to whom the Aztecs presented their multitude of human of- 
 ferings. But recent investigations render it certain that 
 the stories told by Cortez and Berual Diaz and the priests 
 who accompanied the expedition to do the liaptizing, are 
 gross exaggerations. It is not likely that any were slaugh- 
 tered on the great sacrificial stone except prisoners of war 
 and those who voluntarily offered themselves to the dread 
 deity, as zealots still do in some nations of the East. But 
 the Aztecs oeciii)ied only a snuiU part of Mexico, and in 
 most of the teocallis human sacrifices were unknown. Since 
 that day the numbers of the native population have been 
 reduced liy suffering from 30,000,000 to barely 7,000,000, 
 and those are degraded in every way. The Indians of to- 
 
INFLUFA^CE OF THE SPANIARDS. 207 
 
 day are almost without ingenuity and enterprise; the Az- 
 tecs were skillful wood carvers, and sculptors of no mean 
 talent ; they wove cotton and fine linen, and made a species 
 of silk from the fine hair of the rabbit; their delicate 
 feather work and embroidery were the wonder of Europe; 
 Cortez declared that their jewelers were superior to the 
 jewelers of Spain; and they even made for their emperor 
 an air-gun with which he shot birds in the forests around 
 Chapultepec. 
 
 I have never elsewhere met so many cripples of all sorts 
 as one sees in Mexico ; lame and with gnarled arms ; blind 
 or of imperfect vision. But the Abbe Clavigero, one of the 
 early priests, said of the Aztecs: "There is scarcely a na- 
 tion on earth where there are fewer deformed persons; it 
 would be more difficult to find a single hump-back, lame or 
 squint-eyed man among a thousand Mexicans, than among 
 a hundred of any other people." Indeed cripples were so 
 rare that Montezuma set up a museum of the few in the 
 country as an exhibition, and the number was so small that 
 some parents mutilated their children's comely proportions 
 so that they might be eligible and thus support their par- 
 ents in luxury. Alas ! the diseases of the Spaniards, 
 spreading from generation to generation, have made crip- 
 ples no longer a marvel, and to build museums or alms- 
 houses enough to shelter them would bankrupt the nation. 
 Some of the beggars that crouch along the cathedrals to- 
 day have almost lost all semblance of the human form. 
 Death came with the Spaniards — death and religion. They 
 made serfs of all the natives, seized all their fertile lands 
 without recompense, levied terrible taxes on every article 
 that could be made to yield a revenue, and established a 
 wholesale system of legalized robbery. Eev. Gorham D. 
 Abbott says in his " Mexico and the United States " : 
 
 " Here was enacted one of the darkest, most deadly and 
 most demoniacal tragedies in the annals of time. In the 
 name of religion the deed was done. A simple, gentle, 
 docile race was all but exterminated. It was as if the 
 
208 FOLKS NP]XT DOOR. 
 
 moimtain ranges of the continent were one great altar, and 
 the teeming millions of its valleys the victims for the sacri- 
 fice." 
 
 Under the laws which the conquerors made, the Mexi- 
 cans had no rights. Schools were forhidden under the plea 
 that " it was inexpedient for learning to become general 
 in America." The vanquished were converted and baptized 
 by force. 
 
 Prof. John W. Draper, speaking cf this time, says. 
 " Spain acted with appalling atrocity toward those In- 
 dians, as though they did not belong to the human race. 
 Their lands and goods were taken from them by apostolic 
 authority. Their persons were seized under the text, ' The 
 heathen are given as an inheritance and the uttermost 
 parts of the earth as a possession.' It was one unspeakable 
 outrage — one unutterable ruin, without discrimination of 
 age or sex. They who died not under the lash in a tropi- 
 cal sun, died in the darkness of the mine. From seques- 
 tered sand banks where the red flamingo fishes in the gray 
 of the morning, from fever-stricken mangrove thickets and 
 the gloom of impenetrable forests, from hiding-places in 
 clifts of the rocks and the solitude of invisible caves, from 
 the eternal snows of the Andes, where there was no witness 
 but the all-seeing sun, there went up to God a cry of hu- 
 man despair. By millions and millions whole races and 
 nations were remorselessly cut ofl^. The bishop of Chiapa 
 affirms that more than fifteen millions were exterminated 
 in his time." Ferdinand and Isabella did not like slavery, 
 but they wanted the Christians whom they had sent West 
 to "' inherit the earth," so they authorized one of the gov- 
 ernors of their colonies to compel the Indians to have deal- 
 ings with the Spaniards — to work for them on such wages 
 as he should see fit; to work under the guidance of over- 
 seers ; to go and hear mass and be instructed in the faith ; 
 and, finally, " to do these things as free persons, for so they 
 are ! " 
 
 For tliree liundred years there were no courts and no 
 
INFLUENCE OF THE SPANlAFtDS. 
 
 209 
 
 justice for the Mexican ; for him the law was a labyrinth of 
 corruption, bribery, perjury, intrigue and outrage. Work 
 and hunger were his portion; the soil and the palaces, the 
 fruit and the mines were for the Spaniard. As the people 
 grew poor the bishojJS grew rich. The misery of the poor 
 found its counterpart in the glory of the church. When- 
 ever an article of merchandise passed from one hand to 
 another, it was compelled to pay a new tax for the benefit 
 of the church. The clergy charged an inexorable fee of 
 $16 for marrying: and the result was that most of the 
 working people of the republic lived together in a state 
 of concubinage. 
 
 In 1827 there were 150 convents and monasteries in 
 IMexico. One-tenth of the products of the country went to 
 the clergy as tithes. The estimated value of church prop- 
 erty in 1850 was $300,000,000— one-third of the entire 
 property of the nation. There were in the city of Mexico 
 5,000 houses, valued at $80,000,000, of which the church 
 owned more than one-half. Domes rose in every block. 
 The annual income of the church in Mexico was $20,000,- 
 000, while that of the republic was only $18,000,000 ! The 
 clergy of the city of Puebla held mortgages on farms in 
 that state alone to the amount of $40,000,000. A church 
 prosperous and powerful; a people hungry and in rags; 
 that Was the summing up of three centuries. I have seen 
 sights at the cathedral unutterably pathetic; hundreds of 
 Indians, most ignorant of the ignorant and poorest of the 
 poor, kneeling upon the floor and counting their beads — 
 men with a few cents' worth of vegetables on their backs, 
 Avomen with babies at their breasts, humble and credulous 
 still, kissing the stone pavement and saluting the golden 
 and bejeweled crucifix erected by that power that has 
 cursed them and their ancestors, and filled their homes 
 with want. 
 
 I wonder if the Protestant church, if it had had here 
 absolute authority, would have done any better ? I wonder 
 if Agnostics and Seculars would have left any better record 
 
210 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 if they had landed here, indifferent to the souls of the peo- 
 ple and thoughtful only for the welfare of their bodies? 
 I do not know. What we all do know is that there came 
 a change at last. The yoke was broken, if not quite thrown 
 off, by the Indians themselves. 
 
EEUENEEATED MEXICO. 211 
 
 EEGENERATED MEXICO. 
 
 THE WORK OF JUAREZ. — A STARTLING TRANSFORMATION". — 
 CHURCH PROPERTY CONFISCATED TO THE STATE. — A NA- 
 TIVE INDIAN DISPOSSESSES THE RELIGION IMPOSED UPON 
 HIS ANCESTORS. — SERVICES BY PERMISSION OF THE STATE. 
 
 Xever, in their long vears of domination, did the Span- 
 iards do a thing to modify tlie condition of tlie Indians ex- 
 cept for the worse. All amelioration came from the despe- 
 ration and courage of their victims. In 1810 Hidalgo, a 
 half-hreed Indian, raised the standard of revolt against 
 Spanish rule, and began that revolution which was to con- 
 tinue through man}^ and terrible vicissitudes till it ended in 
 the absolute independence of Mexico. He was captured 
 and shot by the Spaniards, but his name became a familiar 
 watchword from mountain to sea, and to-day he is affec- 
 tionately spoken'of throughout Mexico and revered as "the 
 father of his country." 
 
 One of Hidalgo's lieutenants, Jose Morelos, then took 
 the field as the champion of independence, but after four 
 .years of fighting he, too, was overcome and executed. 
 Against heavy odds the crusade for freedom continued, 
 through victory and reverse, and the people of Mexico were 
 being slowly educated to understand its meaning. During 
 Hidalgo's campaigns there was living in jDaxaca a native 
 boy — Benito Juarez. He was a pure Indian of the Zapo- 
 tica tribe, and was born in an adobe house on a dirt floor. 
 At the age of twelve he could not read any language and 
 spoke the rude patois of his tribe. But he soinehow learned 
 to read Spanish and emerged from the bookless neighbor- 
 hood cherishing ambitions. It was thought that he showed 
 
 
21,^ FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 promise, and he took about the only course that was open 
 to the studious poor, — the path that led to holy orders in 
 the church. Before being ordained, however, he began the 
 study of law and in manhood began its practice. He was 
 strangely wrought upon by the work of the patriots, Hi- 
 dalgo and Morelos, and in 1856 began the " War of 
 Reform," which ended in the confiscation of all church 
 property to the State and the supremacy of the civil power. 
 
 The church owned one-third of all the real and personal 
 property in the entire country. In the city of Pueblo, 
 assessed at twenty five million dollars of valuation, the 
 church owned eighteen millions. In Morelia the priests 
 owned three-fourths of everything. Not only had it ob- 
 tained the property, but it commanded the consciences of 
 the people. To touch the revenues seemed sacrilege. An 
 annual income of ninety million dollars was divided up 
 among seven thousand priests and monks. 
 
 Under the existing order both the church and the army 
 were exempt from arrest and trial by the civil arm. Con- 
 sidering that the church owned a third of all the prop- 
 erty, and was adding to it every day, and that the so-called 
 soldiers committed half of all the crimes, the condition 
 was felt to be intolerable. The revenues of the State were 
 quite insufficient for its needful expenses, for all of the 
 immense property of the church was exempt from taxation. 
 Juarez proclaimed a war in behalf of justice for the com- 
 mon people. 
 
 The church authorities entered the field against the ob- 
 scure Indian lawyer. He seemed to have every disad- 
 vantage. The whole religious forces of the realm were in 
 arms for his destruction. He was not i)re]iossessing in ap- 
 pearance, seeming to be a swarthy, low-browed, slow, ig- 
 norant scion of the Aztecs. He was no orator. He was no 
 soldier. He possessed no picturesque (pialitics. He was 
 merely lionest, fearless, diligent and ]intrioitic. Many times 
 he was defeated, l)ut he never despaired. He was driven 
 from the land, but he came back. He changed the music 
 
EEGENERATED MEXICO. 
 
 313 
 
 of church bells by melting them into cannon. At last 
 patience had its perfect work, and he took his unchallenged 
 seat as president of the regenerated republic. 
 
 Now he had only just begun his difficult work. Laws had 
 been passed expelling the Jesuits, taking possession of the 
 nunneries, suppressing the monasteries and religious estab- 
 lishments of every kind, and confiscating to the uses of the 
 state all religious property. These drastic laws the Indian 
 was called on to enforce. He was excommunicated by the 
 Pope, but he defied the father of his church and pressed on. 
 To reform the existing order of things M^as a task hercu- 
 lean. Even after the passage and ratiiication of the law 
 confiscating the property of the church, it seemed impos- 
 sible to enforce it. When ordered to dismantle a church, or 
 to repossess a convent in the capital, the wretched peons fell 
 on their knees in terror and refused to proceed. 
 
 He began Avork at Vera Cruz, and the church which was 
 first sold at auction is now significantly enough a national 
 light-house, and its luminous rays, in warning and in 
 greeting, stream far abroad, the pharos of the gulf. 
 
 President Juarez set his face resolutely toward his old 
 home, where he drilled a regiment of full-blooded Indians, 
 then marched them to the capital. He went at their head 
 through the streets, reconstructing as he progressed. 
 Churches were turned into schools ; convents and other reli- 
 gious houses became hotels, stores, factories; real estate, 
 whose enormous rents had enriched the priesthood, was sold 
 to the highest bidder ; new streets were cut through to get 
 rid of a whole platoon of religious temples; nuns and friars 
 were banished, and priests were forbidden to appear in 
 public in their garb. 
 
 The universal confiscation of churches and convents has 
 also subjected this curious property to some strange vicissi- 
 tudes. When the Indian liberator uprose and confiscated 
 it at a blow, many of the religious institutions were sold out 
 to whomsoever would buy. Some churches are used as 
 stores, factories, barracks, theatres and tobacco warehouses; 
 
314 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 some (as at Zacatecas and ]Monterey), for hotels, and some 
 for public schools. I was told that the monastery of Sole- 
 dad was a stable, and the convent at Orizaba, where we tar- 
 ried all night, is now the arena for bull fights ! Verily, 
 there has been an overturning in Mexico ! If Cortez could 
 only have had the prescience to foresee Juarez ! 
 
 The country retains one convent by a curious combina- 
 tion of circumstances, and it is in the city of Mexico — 
 the convent of Santiago. A century or two since, the story 
 goes, it was built for the church by one Count Del Valle; 
 but being an eccentric man he said he would lend it each 
 year instead of giving it. Christmas Day, therefore, he 
 handed the keys to the officers of the religious order that 
 was to occupy it, and left them in possession. In just a 
 year he made his appearance again. He was escorted to the 
 chancel and seated, after which he was addressed by the of- 
 ficer in charge and thanked for the use of the premises dur- 
 ing the year. The occupants then resigned possession, 
 handed him the keys, and passed into the street. They 
 soon reappeared at the threshokl, when he gave to them the 
 keys again and besought them to use the Iniilding '" for 
 the glory of God " another year. They accepted the trust, 
 and he departed for another twelvemonth. Every year 
 since, through many changes of the family's head, this 
 curious ceremony has been repeated, except on one occa- 
 sion, when a young free-thinking Count on receiving the 
 keys said to the astonished occupants : " You're welcome 
 for the past, but now get out; I can put thes.^ promises to 
 better use ! " They left. He stored his corn there for 
 ten years, it is said. At last the old custom was resunu'd, 
 not again to la])se. So when Juarez sent his confiscating 
 officer down there, the present Count Del Valle made his 
 appearance, and laid successful claim to the ]n'o]ierty as his 
 own, and the old lending habit still goes on. lo flic infinite 
 joy of the chui'ch and the order. 
 
 In many of the cafhcdi'nls and clnirehi's Catholic ser- 
 vices are hold on sufferance by jierniission of the Govern- 
 
KEGEISTERATED MEXICO. 215 
 
 ment, and " on condition of good behavior," and of con- 
 stantly displaying the national colors from the roof, but 
 not a church, a rectory, a graveyard, or a rod of ground 
 does the church own in the country. The ringing of bells 
 is restricted to three minutes. 
 
 In Italy and Spain about every third person one meets 
 is a priest, a nun, or some variety of friar. Of the last 
 two personages I have seen not one in Mexico, though it is 
 said that a few eluded the act of expulsion and still linger 
 here in hiding. Of priests (who are forbidden to appear 
 in public in their robes) I have seen but one on the street, 
 and inferred that was his office only from the prostration 
 of the people when he carried the sacrament to a sicV cham- 
 ber. 
 
 In the city of Mexico as late as 1857 were broad streets 
 almost wholly devoted to religious services, churches and 
 convents lining both sides from end to end. Now these 
 buildings are devoted to commercial uses. 
 
 To bury the dead and to frighten and extort money 
 from the poor peons seems to be the chief function of the 
 priests that are left in Mexico. The church property which 
 was confiscated under the philosopher hero, Juarez, is still 
 perverted to the use of man, and everywhere prosperity 
 and heresy are succeeding to piety and noverty, and every- 
 where men are regarding less the admonitions of the priest 
 and more the comforts of the home. 
 
 In the capital the inquisition had its headquarters dur- 
 ing its halcyon days, in the convent of St. Dominic, a few 
 steps from the cathedral. A great mass of buildings behind 
 the church constituted the dungeon. An iron pillar in the 
 middle of the plaza shows where the heretics were burnt. 
 Near by were recently dug from a hole in the wall four 
 skeletons, chained to each other and to the rock, the victims 
 having apparently perished of hunger. 
 
 The more intelligent and thrifty classes in Mexico, like 
 those of Italy and Spain, have come to care little or nothing 
 for religion. They have discarded the Catholic church, 
 
21G FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 but they do not incline to accept any Protestant denomi- 
 nation as a substitute. In fact, they generally decline to 
 adopt a substitute. They have knocked out the window in 
 their Aladdin tower, and are not in a hurry to patch it up 
 again. It is only the laboring classes that are still held 
 in bondage to the church. It is a proverb here that when a 
 peon earns one dollar he gives forty-five cents to the priest, 
 spends fifty cents for pulque, and supports his family on 
 the remainder. 
 
 But the work of Juarez set even the peons to thinking; 
 for this deliverer of Mexico from kingcraft and priestcraft 
 was one of their own class, himself a pure-blooded Indian, 
 raised to eminence b}'' his own talent and energy. He be- 
 came President, then Dictator, and in defiance of religion 
 and tradition he struck an arbitrary blow that shook the 
 land and redeemed it. The church appealed to the Catho- 
 lic powers of Europe, and they sent in the amiable weak- 
 ling, Maximilian. Juarez and Diaz caught the invader and 
 usurper and shot him, and two Mexican traitors by his side 
 " as a warning." 
 
 The great Juarez is almost idolized in Mexico, and he ap- 
 pears, in a certain fantastic light, as the avenger of his 
 racial relative, Montezuma. His portraits are seen every- 
 where. His statues are multiplied, and he is affectionately 
 spoken of as " The Second Washington." 
 
 The church is still potent in Mexico to bless or ban, and 
 still has tremendous influence on the hopes and fears of the 
 people ; but its temporal power is gone forever. Hence- 
 forth will peons give less and less from their thin purses 
 to its treasury. Henceforth will feast days be less and less 
 regarded. Henceforth will knowledge of the laws of na- 
 ture more and more take the place of devotion, and the 
 things which make for liuinnn comfort becoine iiioiT and 
 more considered. Juarez the Deliverer had before him a 
 greater task than Washington, and he performed it as well. 
 I found a sonnet tn him in one of the Sjianisli papers and 
 have ventured on the foUowini;' free renderina: : 
 
EEGENEEATED MEXICO. 21? 
 
 JUAREZ. 
 
 The glory of a noble race art thou ! 
 
 The girded armor of thy passionate plea 
 Was love of Country and of Liberty — 
 Shield of thy breast and helmet of thy brow ! 
 What faith upheld that lion-hearted vow, 
 And bound tliy patriot followers to thee 
 Till all the worn and harried land was free, 
 Blooming with peace, as we behold it now ? 
 Free Mexico records tliy matchless worth ! 
 
 Free Mexico salutes tliy shining brand ! 
 Free Mexico, exultant in thy birth, 
 
 Proud of the prowess of thy conquering hand. 
 Crowns thee, in presence of the applauding earth, 
 Emancipator of a grateful land ! 
 
 It is estimated that some two-thirds of all the people in 
 Mexico are unable to read or write in any language. 
 Juarez, the liberator, shortly after banishing the French, 
 caused common schools to be established, theoretically on 
 the model of those in the United States, and since that 
 time a special effort has been made to promote education. 
 But, as a matter of fact, the appropriation for schools is 
 quite too small, and in rural neighborhoods the peons live 
 so far apart as to make regular attendance impossible, even 
 if an attempt were made to enforce the law providing for 
 compulsory schooling. Girls attend only the parish schools, 
 as it is considered that religious instruction is all they need. 
 In most of the larger cities are industrial schools for boys. 
 In this city there are three kinds of public schools — the 
 federal and the municipal schools, and a military school 
 of high class. But the schools here have not had the advan- 
 tage of the graded system, and the branches taught are few. 
 Of the Federal schools there are fifteen in the city for both 
 sexes, mainly intended for those who purpose to practice 
 a profession or who require special culture. 
 
 There are three large industrial schools in this city, one 
 of the best results that the present educational renaissance 
 has produced. The principal boys' school was an old con- 
 vent. The pupils are taught how to work and make them- 
 selves useful. Among the things in which special training 
 
218 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 is given are carpentry, blacksmithing, masonry and other 
 common trades up to wood carving, telegrajDh}^, sculpture 
 and painting. The girls are taught needlework, flower- 
 work, embroidery, painting, upholstery, etc. 
 
 Scarcely any children now go to school save those of 
 Spanish blood. I visited two mission schools here, taught 
 by bright young ladies from the north, and they assured me 
 that the Indian children were quite as competent students 
 as the whites, as ready to acquire and as steady in retain- 
 ing. Of adult peons few can read or write at all. 
 
 I went into the office of the American daily puljlished 
 here — existing b}^ governmental bribes, like all the dailies 
 — and found an old friend at its helm editorial. Paus- 
 ing near the type-setters I noticed that they were scanning 
 the manuscript as if they were partially blind, sometimes 
 picking out the letters with their fingers. " Very good 
 compositors,"' said the editor, " but they are Mexicans, and 
 not one of them understands English. They have to set 
 up the copy mechanically, letter by letter, without compre- 
 hending a sentence of it." 
 
 At school the pupils learn foreign languages in the ordi- 
 nary course of studying geographv, arithmetic, etc., for 
 these text-books are printed in French and English and 
 occasionally in German, so that when the graduate emerges 
 he is pretty sure to be a tolerable linguist, not only without 
 ever having been abroad, but without ever having applieil 
 himself to foreign languages as separate branches. It 
 M'Orks well, and is an idea worth transplanting to our soil. 
 
THE PEONS. 219 
 
 THE PEONS. 
 
 THE NATIVE WORKERS. — THEIR EFFICIENCY AS PORTERS. — 
 THE DONKEY. — THE ADVENT OF THE Y^ANKEE. — DRESS OF 
 
 THE PEASANTRY. STARTLING CONTRASTS. INDUSTRIAL 
 
 PARADOXES. RAILROADS. SIGNS OF PROGRESS. 
 
 Ever since the beginning of its history apparentl}^ the 
 transportation of Mexico has been carried on by the native 
 porters — cargadores, as they are called — each of whom will 
 carry 150 pounds 20 miles every day. I rather like the 
 Mexican Indian. He is capable of courage, is steady and 
 enduring, and is one of the most humble and obedient of 
 servants, being even given to self-abasement. He will come 
 100 miles from a distant village and tote to the city a 
 few chickens, vegetables, or eggs, that cannot bring him 
 more than a dollar or two. When employed as a porter 
 his average load is 100 pounds, but in the mines he will 
 climb up a rude ladder — merely a notched pole — with -100 
 or 500 pounds of ore on his back. In the city these porters 
 carry everything that can be carried. I saw one man go 
 past this morning with tiventy-fovr ordinary wooden chairs 
 upon his back, making a tower ten feet above his head ; 
 and last week I met one bearing alone a large upholstered 
 sofa and six upholstered chairs ! I believe a grand piano 
 sometimes requires two men. 
 
 As a result of the tenacious quality of the soil in heavy 
 rains, in a country where it rains every day for four 
 months, the most of the transportation in Mexico has al- 
 ways been done by cargadores and donkeys. The former 
 still do the most of it. They make very long journeys, 
 sometimes alone and sometimes in large parties, and they 
 carry every iu"!aginal)le thing that is grown or used in the 
 
220 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 country. Some of these are women and some children. 
 Whoever rides out of this cit}^ early any morning on the 
 road by which Cortez fought his way in will see hundreds 
 of these copper-colored peons with strings of live chickens, 
 geese and turkeys around their necks and hanging head 
 downward. They have brought this live freight ten, twenty, 
 thirty, fifty miles, and still thqy go much of the time upon 
 a short-stepping trot that must carry them five or six miles 
 every hour. I would like to back a healthy cargador to 
 go-as-you-please 100 miles against any of the saw-dust 
 sprinters of New York. 
 
 Some of these porters are laden with green grass for the 
 city horses (these women and girls, mostly), some with 
 charcoal, the only fuel of the country; some with wheat 
 or bags of corn, some with cocoanuts. A strong man here 
 and there will carry a great load of earthen pots and round 
 jugs — half a cart-load — tied on in some mysterious 
 manner by a string that goes around each of the outer 
 jugs — and I have seen this porter sit by the wayside to rest, 
 leaning back against his thirty cubic feet of crockery cargo 
 that towered far above his head, and sticking his legs 
 straight out before him — the only way to dispose of them. 
 I have wished that I could see him get up, liut I never 
 happened to be present when that convulsion took place. 
 
 The cargadores are the most useful beings in Mexico. 
 They are humble officials of the government, and tliey range 
 from California to Guatemala. Every one wears a brass 
 check wliich is numlx-red. Tbis number is a guaranty of 
 his honesty and an insurance against loss 1)y his employer. 
 
 Tlie donkey, or burro, trains form an auxiliary to the 
 landscape that is quite as pictorial and more fantastic. 
 Tliey carry everything that the cargadores do; or, to state 
 the Fact more accuratel}^ everything tliat the cargadores 
 don't. Tliis little burro, with his average load, looks very 
 mucli like a cat tied betAveen two liundlcs of wheat. Look 
 out ilie window in tlie morning early and yiMi shall see 
 half-a-dozei] burros up and down the street hailing before 
 
THE PEOXS. 
 
 221 
 
 the doors and delivering milk. th(> great milk cans, Iwu or 
 three of them, strapped to each ol' his sides. 
 
 The most numerous thing in all Mexico is this donkey. 
 He is a perennial. His neck is of dangerous length, and 
 his head, sjirouting two wni'in cahhage-leavcs ujion its sum- 
 mit, is almost heavy enough to tin him ovci-. The centre 
 of gravity is not far from his fi'ont toes. His eyes are of 
 liquid tenderness and seem to carry within their deeps tlie 
 wisdom of Budda. He is superior to the currycomh: he 
 never saw one. He carries anything that you can tie u])on 
 him, or pile over him, and he sutfers without intermission, 
 but never dies. They declare in Mexico that nobody ever 
 saw a dead donkey. There is a current belief that he is im- 
 mortal — that, when he ought to die of old age, he merely 
 puts forth a new set of teeth, sheds his coat and ambles on. 
 
 The Spanish ^Mexicans are fearfully jealous of " Amer- 
 ica," as they properly call the United States, and unani- 
 mously agree that we are only waiting for a good o]ipor- 
 tunity to annex their land to ours. It is not surprising 
 that they imagine that jMexico is a country coveted by the 
 whole human race, and they think it quite incredil)le that 
 the great, aggressive, rapacious republic of the north does 
 not burn to possess it. Ask one of these why we should de- 
 sire to own Mexico, and he will reply, " why does a horse 
 want oats? Why does a wolf want lamlj?" 
 
 And it may be admitted tliat our lu'utal seizure of tlie 
 great Philippine archipelago in defiance of the wish of its 
 people, goes very far to justify this suspicion on the ])art 
 of our southern neighl)ors. 
 
 Yet, in fact, there is nothing in the universe that we do 
 not need more than Mexico. If we could take tlu^ country 
 with only its aborigines, without the Spaniards or a drop 
 of Spanish blood, it might be worth considering. Tlic 
 peons, who constitute three-quarters of the inhabitants, are 
 industrious, modest, peaceful, docile, amiable. But the 
 whites bear themselves towards these natives witli the con- 
 ceit and arrogance whicli despotic rule always begets. 
 
222 FOLKS ^TEXT DOOE. 
 
 Wherever on earth is found a white ruling class calling 
 itself " superior," there is found its inevitable characteris- 
 tics — cruelty, conceit, indolence, arrogance and supercil- 
 iousness. The members of the ruling class look, act and 
 speak as if nobody on the planet were worthy of their recog- 
 nition. So are the Dutch in Java. So are the British in 
 India. So are the American adventurers in Manila. 
 
 The whites of Mexico are so vain and lazy that they re- 
 gard work as disgraceful, and I have never known one to 
 carry a parcel of any sort through the street. They do 
 serve as clerks in the city stores ; but they are always apolo- 
 gizing even for this, and reminding their friends of the 
 good old days when they were not compelled to submit to 
 the humiliation. If one of these varnished youths of Mex- 
 ico has a book to carry to the next corner he will hire a 
 servant to carry it for him. A Yankee here tells me : 
 " When I first went into business in IMexico I hired a little 
 darkey named Jim to run of errands for me. I occasion- 
 ally missed my "^ mozo ' downstairs and wondered where he 
 had gone. One morning, having a horse's bit that needed 
 fixing, I gave it to Jim, to take to the blacksmith's. Pretty 
 soon I started for home, and, pausing on my way, what 
 was my astonishment to see that little darkey come strolling 
 past, my groom behind him with the bit. He had waited 
 for the groom to come. I stopped him and asked him if 
 lie was too proud to carry a bit in his hand througli the 
 street. ' Yes, sir ! ' he said, straightening up. ' Very 
 well,' I said, ' I'll carry it myself." T did s(\ In the af- 
 ternoon I had him paid off and discharged, but I suppose 
 he got a servant to carry his l)niidle away for him. He 
 had learned that trick of the white fellows." 
 
 These arc the people who insist that the Ignited States 
 wants and nutans to swallow Mexico. Two or three news- 
 papers live by continually denouncing the Yankees, and 
 keeping alive Ihe alarm ot an invasion of the Huns and 
 Yandn'ls of the Js^orth. 
 
 Two of the papers here habitually apply to those who 
 
THE PEONS. 
 
 favor immigration and the adoption of northern m(!tliods, 
 the queer Peqnot-Greek name, "' Yankifilos '' — Yankee 
 lovers — and the story is around the street, and has even 
 got into print, that '^ 30,000 Americans " will come down 
 like the Assyrians within the next year. They insist that 
 the trunk railroads have heen built to facilitate the work 
 of conquest. A good many of the Spanish-Mexicans think 
 that our country is such a desolate and forbidding place to 
 live in that nobody will stay there who can possibly get 
 to Mexico, and that if a general welcome were extended 
 the Northern Eepublic would at once be depopulated. 
 
 It must be confessed that while this idea is altogether 
 mistaken, it is plausible. The so-called "Mexican war'' 
 of 1847 was assuredly one of the most inexcusable wars 
 that a powerful nation ever waged against a weak one — 
 a war of conquest and brutality merely, such as a big bully 
 makes upon a little boy. But the party of the first part has 
 long since become ashamed of it, and is not likely to repeat 
 it, let us hope, even in the disguise of peace. 
 
 General U. S. Grant, who was a lieutenant in that war 
 of aggression, says in his " Memoirs " : " To this day I 
 regard the Mexican war as one of the most unjust wars 
 ■ever waged by a strong nation against a weak one." It 
 was clearly a case of the wolf and the lamb, and every 
 reputable historian has expressed his sense of the dis- 
 grace. 
 
 The average Spanish-Mexican seems incapable of com- 
 prehending the facts — that we have all the people we want ; 
 that our population is already sufficiently mixed; that 
 though we are heterogeneous, the temper of our citizens, 
 like their language and origin, belongs to the temperate 
 zone ; that we have made a mistake in making vassals of the 
 Filipinos,,an.d that we cannot afford to imperil our security 
 by any more tropical marriages. So they refuse to study 
 English or try to speak it, or suffer their children to do so. 
 Indeed, the untraveled Mexicans are as narrow-minded and 
 provincinl as the Parisians; as proud of their weaknesses 
 
224 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 and deficiencies as the Cockney who asks if New Jersey 
 is the capital of Cliicago. 
 
 They have excellent military music here — every large 
 town possessing a good band — and yet the soldiers, in 
 marching, are not required or expected to keep step. They 
 look odd, and not very formidable, straggling along in 
 their slouchy white cotton uniforms. Each soldier wears his 
 number conspicuous on the front of his cap — a precaution 
 made necessary by the fact that many of them are crimi- 
 nals, let out of prison under agreement to serve a number 
 of years gratuitously. 
 
 A great need of Mexico has been the completion of its 
 railroads. This now seems provided for, for it already 
 has three great railroads locking its distant states together. 
 The road between Vera Cruz and the capital is a mine 
 of wealth. The Central connecting the capital v/ith Colo- 
 rado, and threading the lofty plateau almost from end to 
 end, has already several feeders running into the tributary 
 country and giving an outlet to the great mining territory. 
 The National has built 2,000 miles, and it is the shortest 
 thoroughfare between Mexico and all of the United 
 States east of the Mississippi. Along its track lie mines 
 of all the precious metals and great deposits of good coal 
 — the only coal in Mexico. 
 
 Formerly it was impracticable to visit Mexico in sum- 
 mer on account of the traveling. The constant rains filled 
 tlic dry gullies with brooks and swelled the brooks to 
 torrents. The roads became obliterated. Numerous trav- 
 elers were drowned, or, in their distress, were beset by 
 brigands and robbed. But the steam railways, radiating 
 in picturesque lines from the capital to the interior, and 
 tlie long mule-railways tliat are in opt'ration everywhere 
 as auxiliaries to these, make travel now not only cheap 
 but easy, and safe even during the rainy season. 
 
 No other enlightened country in tlio world needs rail- 
 roads as much as does Mexico, for jMexico has no rivers. 
 The United States had excellent means of internal trans- 
 
THE PEONS. 225 
 
 portation even before railroads were built — the St. Law- 
 rence, the Penobscot, the Connecticut, the Hudson, the 
 Susquehanna, the Delaware, the Potomac and many other 
 rivers in the East; and the Mississippi and its tributaries 
 carrying steamboats to twelve or fifteen States. But Mex- 
 ico, with twenty-seven States, has scarcely one mile of 
 navigable river. I have never heard of a steamboat 
 here. 
 
 Not only is Mexico without rivers, but it is almost with- 
 out roads. Cortez made a good artificial road from Vera 
 Cruz up to Mexico 350 years ago, and this is still in use 
 for the occasional wagon. But the employment of wagons 
 for transporting either freight or passengers is scarcely 
 known in Mexico. The reason for this doubtless is that 
 in the rainy season — June to September, inclusive — most 
 of the roads are impassable. 
 
 Mules have been known to be drowned in the very streets 
 of the capital — stuck in the mud, and as they strug- 
 gled to get free swallowed up at last out of sight. " You 
 see that place in the street yonder, where it is improved ? " 
 asked an acquaintance of me the other day, indicating a 
 spot on the next block. 
 
 I said yes. 
 
 " That's a bad place in the rainy season," he continued. 
 " I once saw a team of forty mules stalled there while try- 
 ing to draw an empty wagon ! " 
 
 I believe railroads are going to continue to pay in Mex- 
 ico. In the first place the average Mexican dearly loves a 
 ride. The second-class horse-cars in this city are almost 
 always full, and the blanketed peon, rising from his ever- 
 lasting plate of black beans and tortillas (pancakes made 
 of Indian meal and water), steps briskly on board the car 
 and pays his six cents for a lift across town. I suppose 
 there are proportionately more horse-cars in this country 
 than in the United States. Every city has its quota of 
 them and they have been set running past hundreds of 
 villages and haciendas. Steam railroads generally run 
 
226 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 a mile or two from each town, which is connected with the 
 station by horse-cars — perhaps I ought to say mule-ear;-, 
 as a span of this left-handed child of the horse is the mo- 
 tive power, and they ordinarily go on a gallop. 
 
 From the city of Mexico they radiate in every direction 
 — four, eight, ten, fifteen miles. Several of the lines of 
 street-cars in this country are thirty, forty and fifty miles 
 long, and one, from Vera Cruz to Jalapa, extended twenty 
 years ago no less than seventy-six miles ! Almost every 
 line in the country is paying an interest on the investment, 
 too, I am told. This demonstrates that the Mexican likes 
 to ride — a fact of some importance to the promoters of the 
 ferro carril, as the steam railroad is called. Probably the 
 street railroads of Mexico are the best in the world. A 
 friend told me yesterday that he had ridden twelve miles 
 in fifty-two minutes on one of these rural vehicles. 
 
 The progress of Mexico is shown in other ways. It 
 looks as if there would be no more revolutions in this gen- 
 eration. There is a prevalent sense of security. Forty 
 years ago everybody went armed, and there were frequent 
 outbreaks. Few citizens now carry pistols. Thirty years 
 ago there were, I am told by a friend who lives here, not 
 more than twelve private two-horse carriages in the city; 
 now there must be a thousand. Eiding out upon the 
 Paseo yesterday I met no less, I think, than three or four 
 hundred carriages — victorias, cabs, coupes, landaus, New 
 Haven buggies, Boston dog-carts — about everything in 
 the line of handsome vehicles that one would sec in Cen- 
 tral Park or up Eiverside Drive. 
 
 Life is as safe here as anywhere in the world. Peace 
 reigns and security is guaranteed. I brought with me from 
 heme a self-cocking revolver. I have now been in Mexico 
 more than a month, and have traveled a good deal — over 
 the Andes 400 miles toward the Pacific on the National 
 Eailroad, and northward to Celaya, to Orizaba, and out to 
 the ruins of San Juan Tcotihuacan, through this city in 
 every direction at all hours, and on horseback in the early 
 
THE PEONS. 227 
 
 morning through the suburbs for ten miles around — and 
 I have not only had no occasion to draw or to exhibit my 
 revolver, but I have never carried it for a moment ; it is in 
 my trunk and has never been out. 
 
 The peons are an unobtrusive, obedient, good-natured, 
 docile race, who will never tight if they can help it. Peo- 
 ple from the United States are popular among them, for 
 the advent of the Yankees and their railroads has been 
 followed everywhere along the lines by a rise of wages 
 from 20 or 30 cents a day to 40 or 50 cents, which means 
 more frejoles to eat and more pulque to drink. The Yan- 
 kee, just at present, is generally regarded as the goose that 
 lays the golden egg. Of the auriferous quality of the egg 
 there can be no doubt ; as to the goose — that is the question 
 to consider. 
 
228' 
 
 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 OVEE THE ANDES. 
 
 A TRIP DOWN THE PACIFIC SLOPE. A FIRST-CLASS RAIL- 
 ROAD. SPARSE POPULATION. VAST CATHEDRALS. — 
 
 HOMES OF THE PEONS. — THE CLIMB TO CIMA. — DROVES OF 
 
 PORTERS AND DONKEYS. INERTIA. RELIGION AT 
 
 MORELIA. — CURIOSITY OF THE PEONS. — THE DEIFIED LO- 
 COMOTIVE. 
 
 Mexico as a whole can best be seen from the cars. I 
 have enjoyed this opportunity on a 500-mile ride over the 
 sierras to Morelia, half-way to the Pacific, where, from a 
 neighboring mountain, I could have looked down upon its 
 waters of alleged tranquillity. Curiously enough, these 
 mountains are here generally called the Andes-Cordillera, 
 meaning merely a chain. 
 
 The road that leads from the house where I am a guest 
 in the city of Mexico to the station of the Mexican Na- 
 tional Railroad is a historic thoroughfare. It is a solid 
 street now, with no water in sight anywhere ; 390 years ago 
 it was the causeway flanked by a lake on both sides and in- 
 tercepted by lateral canals down which Cortez fought his 
 way on that memorable night of his expulsion, and up 
 which he fought his way in his subsequent re-entrance to 
 the Aztec capital. Still we are shown on the way to the 
 station the place where the chieftain was captured for a 
 moment during that night of terror, the spot where Ve- 
 lasques de Leon fell, the bridge where Alvarado, miracu- 
 lously upl)orne by an angel evidently in league with the 
 devil, leaped the fifty-foot chasm and escaped from his ene- 
 mies ; and, just beyond the station, the celebrated Noche 
 Triste (sad-night) tree, still standing, wounded and weath- 
 er-beaten, under the branches of which Cortez sat down and 
 
OYP]K THE ANDES. 229 
 
 wept the destruction of his army. The site of the resi- 
 dence where I am writing, now miles away from any water, 
 was then in the lake, surrounded by flowing canals, and 
 containing a house standing on piles like the houses of 
 Venice. The street in front still bears the name of St. 
 Francis Bridge. 
 
 After leaving the capital a hundred miles behind, the 
 country we pass through, were it not for the close-tilled 
 fields, would scarcely seem to be inhabited. But it is. 
 Houses are not conspicuous, and they are not evenly dis- 
 tributed — as in our own rural districts. The dangers of 
 war and plunder (which the railroads have banished) com- 
 pelled them to cluster, and the villages and haciendas are 
 numerous. Here at the left rise the tower and dome of a 
 great white stone church. It is 200 feet long and has a 
 chime of bells, and is magnificent, worthy of any city. You 
 ask : '^ What on earth is that tine church standing out here 
 alone for?" Look closer and you shall see small hum- 
 mocks, the color of the earth, a cord or two in each — hun- 
 dreds or thousands of them scattered all about. You in- 
 spect them through your glass and say : " I think they 
 are piles of brush or peat for the church fire. Or are 
 they — is it possible that they are human habitations ? '' 
 
 Yes, they are dwellings. This is an Indian village, and 
 those are villagers. Most of their homes are low huts, 
 built of turf or of cane stuck in the ground, without a win- 
 dow, without a table, chair, stove or bed. Some of these 
 people have large families. They possess various earthen 
 pots for cooking. For knives and forks they use fingers. 
 They shut the door by setting up a sheaf of straw at the 
 only orifice. 
 
 Yet they have built a splendid church, with nave, and 
 choir, and apse; with fretted ceiling and resounding dome; 
 with a font of onyx or of jasper; with a marble pulpit and 
 a silver chancel rail. It is the only conspicuous building 
 in the village ; it cost more than all the homes of its build- 
 ers, which are mere kennels by its side. They are devout 
 
230 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 Catholics; they are peaceable, kind-hearted, polite, and ig- 
 norant ; and to raise this superb temple and ]3ay the priests 
 who minister at its altar they deny themselves even the 
 comforts of life. How full this poor world is of men who 
 are willing to earn a good stout salary by telling other 
 men what neither of them know ! 
 
 I wish I could see a tall school-house somewhere. Here 
 far away on the side hill at the right is a different sort of 
 structure — a vast straggling one-story building covering 
 five acres. If it were in Connecticut I should infer that it 
 was a particularly solid structure erected for the county 
 cattle-show and fair. Out here it looks like a fortress. And 
 yet it may be a church, for there is a tower to one corner 
 with a bell in it. 
 
 Yes; it is both a fortress and a church. In other words, 
 it is a Spanish farm-house — the homestead of one of the 
 immense estates of Mexico. It is called a hacienda. All 
 of the country around as far as you can see belongs to the 
 haciendado. Soldiers belong to him, armed for the de- 
 fense of the place against the brigands, who formerly, 
 before the era of railroads, infested all this land. And a 
 doctor belongs to him to heal, or otherwise, his sick. And 
 a priest belongs to him who helps all the people to say their 
 prayers in the chapel. And around the outside now you 
 Avill see large numbers of the same sort of human burrows 
 before descri))ed. 
 
 On the western boundary of the valley of Mexico the 
 track climbs over the foot-hills. Then the heavy grade 
 l)egius. We thread numerous cuts, sometimes through hard 
 metaiiior])hic rock, but oftener through tlie spongy and 
 cruml)ly volcanic ash called tipetati. whieli one sees in 
 many of the buildings of IMexico. We leap gulches with 
 little brooks babbling at the bottom, most welcome after 
 leaving the dust-swept jdatenu ; wc skim along tlic sides 
 of tremenrlous ravines, or Ixirrancds. and suddcidy plunge 
 into a inniu'l. In cnun-ging wc look back'wai'd across the 
 broad deep valley and get a farewell gliin])se of tlie (*apital 
 
OVEE THE ANDES. 231 
 
 of [he Aztecs, twinkling afar off among lakes in a misty 
 atmosphere. The valley below us is one of the most 
 highly cultivated parts of Mexico. Fields are carefully di- 
 vided and thoroughly tilled. In two months, when the 
 summer rainy season has begun, they will fill the eye with 
 beauty. 
 
 We sweep around great ox-bow curves, over solid stone 
 and iron bridges, past myriads of unknown trees, under 
 the shadow of high rocks water-worn into grotesque shapes, 
 battlemented castles, towers, and minarets, and colossal ca- 
 ricatures of the organ cactus with pipes of carven trachite 
 clustering in the sun. We climb up, up, up, 200 feet to 
 the mile, and soon reach Cima, or Summit, at the top of 
 the Sierras, and 10,200 feet above the sea. There is only 
 a little station here. This is, I believe, the highest point 
 reached by a railroad on the continent. Here are a couple 
 of springs within sight of each other from which two 
 streams flow, one trickling down to the great waters of the 
 east and the other finding its way through deep canons into 
 the Pacific Ocean. We take a drink and push on. Pines 
 and spruces now abound. The scenery is like that of the 
 Eocky Mountains. Eespiration does not seem more diffi- 
 cult than at Mexico. The descent is begun, and presently 
 on the left shines the majestic snow-clad volcano, now 
 extinct, of Toluca^ 15,156 feet high. The maguey plant 
 appears again in mile-square fields — then Toluca, the loft- 
 iest city in the Eepublic, a thriving and prosperous place. 
 
 During the next 150 miles Ave pass through Jodana (no 
 building — the station is a freight-car on a siding), Del 
 Eio, Flor de Maria, El Oro, Tepetongo, Maravatio, Acam- 
 baro, and some other towns. There are deep caiions along 
 the wajr, great valleys filled with the maguey and waiting 
 for rain that they may blossom with wheat and Indian 
 corn ; several Indian villages ; droves of black and red 
 pigs (yet American hams bring 40 cents a pound in Mex- 
 ico) ; the plains of Salazar, where the battle between the 
 Mexicans and Maximilian's soldiers was fought; and bat- 
 
232 FOLKS NEXT DOOI?. 
 
 talions of men laden with freight, trudging towards the 
 Capital — sixty, seventy, eighty miles away ! These are 
 the porters of the Republic, jealous competitors of the 
 locomotive. 
 
 Inertia is the strongest characteristic of the Mexican — 
 whether by that term we designate the Creoles (Spaniards 
 and their descendants), who are about one-sixth of the 
 population, the full-blooded Indians, who constitute two- 
 sixths, or the Mestizoes, who make up the other half. They 
 all like the old ways instinctively, and nothing but a strong 
 expectation of gain causes them to turn (ver}^ slowly) to- 
 wards improved methods. 
 
 For instance, the railroad still finds in the crowds of 
 human porters and the droves of donkeys natural and 
 vigorous rivals in the business of transportation. In many 
 cases the haciendado could send his produce cheaper to 
 market by rail, but he is tardy about finding it out. A 
 railroad manager tells me his experience : " These farmers 
 are willing to make money, but they seldom think of leav- 
 ing the old way, till somebody has demonstrated the econ- 
 omy of the new. There is a rich haciendado with 
 some tens of thousands of acres of land out towards jMo- 
 relia on our line. He has always sent his crop to market 
 with his droves of donkeys — nearly 200 miles. I sent 
 word to him that we could carry it cheaper, and furnished 
 him with rates, but it made no impression. Finally I got 
 him down to a table, with pencil and paper, and figured it 
 out for him. I showed him that his burros cost so much, 
 feed so much, interest on money so much, and we threw 
 in the peons, for he said he had just so many men all the 
 while and they might as well be at work. I showed him 
 that he would make thousands of dollars a year by send- 
 ing his produce by us, and then he gave in reluctantly, and 
 tried the ' experiment ' — of course permanently. But it 
 would be slow work to go to every farmer in ^Icxico and 
 show bill! that bis intcrcsi would bo ])roinoted by shipping 
 by our road. This is what nuikes })rogress so slow." 
 
OVER THE ANDES. 
 
 About 250 miles from the Capital, and near our des- 
 tination, we suddenly debouch upon the picturesque salt 
 lake, Cuitzeo, which has several islands and a coast of more 
 than fifty miles. Its beach is white with salt, and salt- 
 works are active in gathering the product for market. 
 They have no clean wooden vats and ducts like the works 
 at Syracuse, but the water is led inland in little rivulets 
 and then sprinkled over a carefully-swept surface with 
 paddles, where it sinks into the earth, leaving its saline 
 deposit to be swept up in its turn, dirt and all. Along the 
 shore, too, we find boiling springs where we cook eggs for 
 Innch, poking them out of their boiling bath with sticks. 
 
 Over some of these mineral springs sit Indians muffled 
 in great blankets, taking a sweat to rid themselves of phy- 
 sical ailments; and in others, barely tepid, we find a num- 
 ber of squaws bathing, who with great presence of mind 
 hop out on the smooth bank to avoid observation. This 
 lake will make a delightful sanitarium when Americans 
 come to Mexico by tens of thousands to spend their leisure 
 and pleasure time and somebody erects a hotel here; for 
 the thermometer ranges only ten degrees the year round, 
 and it is quite as pleasant and healthful out of the Valley 
 of Mexico in the rainy season as in midwinter, and even 
 more agreeable. Lake Cuitzeo is haunted by strange birds 
 — tall cranes with pink pantalettes on striding np and 
 down the beach, white pelicans with their uncouth pouches, 
 and ducks literally in millions, going and coming in clouds, 
 and sitting near the water's edge unmindful of the cars. 
 The water is also said to be alive with fish. 
 
 On speeds our little train, till we draw up at Morelia. 
 Next to Mexico itself this is the finest city I have yet seen 
 in the country. The spirit of the church is still very 
 strong here. The peons reverently uncover and sometimes 
 kneel when they pass the Cathedral ; and if you neglect to 
 remove your hat when the priest drives past with his 
 white mules and his inferential " host " somebody will 
 knock it off for you. It was here that a shoemaker was 
 
23-1 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 killed for kneeling on his workbench instead of on the 
 ground when the holy procession passed. I was saluted 
 with a violent imprecation and menace by a soldier on en- 
 tering the park with my hat on. I thought the man was 
 crazy: but presently he fell prostrate on the ground and I 
 ascertained the cause of the assault — the priest was ap- 
 proaching, with his white mules and his " host." I had 
 not heard the bell. 
 
 The cathedral cost $5,000,000. The Pasco, or Prome- 
 nade, is a solidly-paved way in the suburbs, half a mile 
 long, embowered in giant ash and eucalyptus trees, a con- 
 tinuous stone seat running the whole length on both sides, 
 and outside of these again an equestrian way where the 
 young cavaliers of the town, wearing broad sombreros 
 heavily decorated with silver and gold, and with double 
 rows of coins or silver buttons shining down the legs of 
 their pantaloons, and with savage spurs that weigh a pound 
 apiece, prance back and forth on superb horses under the 
 animated balconies of the local aristocracy. 
 
 There is in Morelia a fine old convent, built of the hand- 
 some pink trachite of the surrounding hills, and confiscated 
 l)y the Government, that would make a delightful hotel 
 for Americans who seek a dry and equable climate. It 
 is erected around a great flowery court open to the sky. 
 and there is something quite imposing in the long arcades 
 roofed with groined arches, the stairways of heavy masonry, 
 the light and spacious vestibules, the battlementcd coping, 
 and the feudal but thoroughly comfortable look of the 
 spot that would make it the delight of the pulmonary ]iil- 
 grim from the fickle intemperate zone. 
 
 This trip was full of interest — not only tlic lnndsca])c 
 and the inhabitants, but the road itself. The steel rails 
 and the careful ballasting make it one of the smoothest 
 roads I have ever ridden over — as smooth as any road mc 
 have in our own land. The National is what is called " an 
 American road." 
 
 All the wnv to iNlorelia and liack tlu> coltou-e-lad ijoons 
 
OVER THE ANDES. 235 
 
 held up to the open windows whenever we stopped, tlie 
 tempting staples of the conntry — gorgeous flowers (seventy 
 roses for sixpence!) and all sorts of luscious fruits, just 
 picked. One of these, who looked like an Arab, walked 
 up and down with a can on his head, winking in a fasci- 
 nating manner, and shouting : " A louse ! a louse ! " It 
 was startling. I said : " I pass," and the ladies didn't seem 
 to want any of it. Then, reflecting that I had already seen 
 a flea, eaten flies and tortillas and drank pulque, I beckoned 
 to the Arab and told him I would try a few. He swiftly 
 removed the can from his head, opened it, and produced 
 tin cylinders of delicious ice-cream ! The traveler in Mex- 
 ico will lose a good deal by not understanding Aztec-Span- 
 ish. 
 
 I don't know which showed the most curiosity in the 
 garb and manners of the other — our little party or the 
 peons of Morelia. There was scarcely a moment when 
 some tawny nose was not flattened against our car win- 
 dows. The ladies, and all they had on, excited undisguised 
 interest. But the locomotive was regarded with awe. It 
 was amusing to see the natives approach, and inspect it 
 with evident fear, and when at last they became sufficiently 
 familiar to touch one of the wheels, they w^ould suddenly 
 draw back and exchange looks — half fear, half delight — - 
 like a child that has laid its hand on the trunk of an ele- 
 phant. I saw a native stand perfectly still for at least 
 five minutes, looking at a small bolt-head on the boiler, 
 never removing his eyes from it, never stirring, scarcelv 
 winking. He acted as if he were in a superstitious trance 
 — as a devotee might act in the presence of a god. The 
 iron-horse has been here every day for some years, now, Init 
 these Indians do not yet feel really acquainted with the 
 monster, and thousands from neighboring towns have never 
 5^et had a chance to see him at all. 
 
23G FOLKS XEXT DOCK. 
 
 AMONG THE TOLTEC EUINS. 
 
 TRIP TO SA]Sr JUAN. WITH THE ASSISTANCE OF THREE 
 
 SMALL BOYS. LITTLE STONE GODS TOO NUMEROUS TO 
 
 ■ MENTION. OBSIDIAN KNIVES. NO TWO IMAGES ALIKE. — ■ 
 
 A GRANITE GOD TEN FEET HIGH. AN INDIAN'S DWELL- 
 ING. — OUR COMPANIONS AT LUNCH. 
 
 On Sunday ,with three other Americans of an inquiring 
 mind, I went to San Juan Teotihuacan, twenty-five miles 
 from the city of Mexico on the Vera Cruz road, to see the 
 great truncated pyramids. Out of the north side of the 
 city we passed along the dike of Tepejacac, where, during 
 the siege of the capital hy Cortez, Sandoval cut off the last 
 communications of the Aztecs with the country. Though 
 traversed hy a double-track railway, the dike is somev/hat 
 in the same condition in whicli the Spanish found it. The 
 watery bayous which flanked it have withdrawn to tlie lake 
 which now lies ten miles distant, barely two feet lower 
 than the streets of the capital. Out of the window the 
 passenger catches the distant gleam of the snow on Popo- 
 catepetl (accent on the first and fourth syllables) and his 
 lazy wife. The White Woman, lying on her side in the sun. 
 Everv mile or so we pass shrines of masonry, built before 
 Juarez laid his lieavy hand upon the church. The country is 
 ll;)t, and lliere is little else worth seeing till we pull up at 
 " San Wan," and clind) out. 
 
 Tliere is no town hero — notliing but tlie station, and near 
 l)y it the fondita, or little saloon wlici'e W(> can get jtoor 
 wine. There are no otlier l)ui](lings in sight, and the only 
 inhabitants seem to l)e llii'ee Ijlcaelied l)oys of assorted sizes 
 wlio have their white aprons full of little stone gods which 
 
AMONG THE TOLTEC RUINS. 237 
 
 they are willing to sell. One of them has a deity of more 
 majestic i3roportions — some 10 inches high, with flat nose, 
 cataract-afflicted eyes, flaring lohes of ears, and an elabo- 
 rate headdress, which he offers to me for uno peso — a dol- 
 lar. I sneer incredulity and defiance at him, as is custom- 
 ary here when the first price is mentioned for any article, 
 and he says in a subdued tone of voice that I may have it 
 for six reals — seventy-five cents. I ask him if he owns and 
 operates the god-factory himself, but he does not under- 
 stand my ironical Spanish, and only follows me with the 
 stone image into the plowed field adjoining the station. 
 In a moment of inadvertence I offer the urchin two reals 
 for the sacred treasure — twenty-five cents — thinking to 
 frighten him away, when he snaps me up as quick as a 
 wink. " First blood ! " shouts one of my traveling com- 
 panions. I thoughtfully pay for it and stow it away in the 
 bag with my lunch. It is heavy. I ask the small boy if he 
 won't trade back, as I really don't require the god and, per- 
 haps, shall never worship it in the world. He declines and 
 pockets his small coins with a grin. We all march on. 
 
 " Manufactured, of course," said the doctor, in soliloquy. 
 
 " Certainly," said the professor from Philadelphia ; 
 "there are no genuine remains here in this old city of the 
 Toltecs — nothing but yonder twin hills — the teocalli of the 
 sun and moon. And it is sometimes said — hello ! I've 
 found a head ! " 
 
 He holds up something brown in his fingers, and we press 
 around to see. It is a face, nearly as large as a hen's egg, 
 of earthenware, broken at the neck and minus one flaring 
 ear. It is flat on the forehead, broad at the eyes, and 
 mouth ajar as if intently listening. " ISTot made yesterday," 
 says the finder, stowing it carefully away. 
 
 " Somebody must have lost it after buying it and start- 
 ing for home," I suggested. " You ought to advertise for 
 the owner. It is quite elaborate." 
 
 " Manufactured, however," repeated the doctor. " That 
 old city no doubt stood here and was destroyed by the Az- 
 
238 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 tecs when they came down out of ISToman's Land, but these 
 
 grounds have been scoured over so often that there ! 
 
 I've found something, too. I shouldn't wonder if this was 
 genuine." 
 
 It is a piece of black glass, half an inch wide, four inches 
 long, and so thin that one side is an edge — somewhat ser- 
 rate but keen — recognized by us all as the knife, razor and 
 spear-head of the Aztecs and their predecessors. It is ob- 
 sidian — natural glass, made of silica melted ten thousand 
 years ago in the natural furnaces of Popocatepetl and Ori- 
 zaba, and used by the Aztecs for their weapons. They 
 called it itztU. Says Prescott : " They wielded the terrible 
 maquahuitl, with its sharp and brittle blades of obsidian." 
 Again he speaks of " warriors whose spears and bludgeons, 
 armed with blades of volcanic glass, gleamed in the morn- 
 ing light." 
 
 " I don't see how this can be bogus," exclaims the doc- 
 tor, depositing it thoughtfully in his vest pocket. 
 
 Presently the professor finds another little image; then 
 I find two, imperfect, close together; then a boy at my side 
 picks up one, large and grotesque; then the agent of a 
 New Mexican mine finds several interesting fragments. 
 Then we all find the translucent razors of various lengths, 
 obviously the product of skill and careful labor. Then the 
 miner holds up a bit of pottery — the nose, mouth and chin 
 of a man, life size, with the top-head gone. 
 
 " How ingenious these fellows are around here ! " ex- 
 claims the miner, " to make so many things to fool travel- 
 ers with, and to make them all different ; and then how gen- 
 erous to bring them all out here and scatter them around 
 for travelers to pick up ! " 
 
 We think about this as we press on towards the pyramid 
 of the sun, now about a mile away. The fields we are go- 
 ing through are strewn with fragments of pottery — loads 
 on loads of it, mixed here and there with little earthen 
 heads, no two alike, glass beads, and ornamental bits, 
 whose use we cannot divine. Pieces of broken obsidian 
 
AMONG THE TOLTEC EUINS. 239 
 
 — spear heads, razors, arrows and what not — sparkle every- 
 where, and soon become so plenty that we no longer pick 
 up any but the rarest forms. Earthen heads are not so 
 common. We save all the good ones that we see till we 
 are loaded down. The three boys that followed us have 
 now become ten, and some of them are girls, all with 
 dozens of the Toltec gods to sell. Many fields are filled with 
 the maguey plant — the green cow of the tropics, whose 
 milk the thirsty native turns into pulque and then turns 
 the pulque into himself. Each plant holds up a bundle 
 of tremendous green bayonets, each bayonet a foot through 
 and twelve feet long. And in the broken mold of every fal- 
 low acre we find the earthen gods. And sometimes we 
 halt and buy a choice dozen from one of the boys or women 
 venders, paying a quarter of what they ask — an average, I 
 should say, of about a cent per god. And, remember, no 
 two gods alike ! 
 
 Now we are on the imposing face of the greater pyra- 
 mid, dedicated to the sun. It rises 130 feet above, each 
 of the sides of the pyramid measuring at the base 682 feet. 
 Guided by one of the boys whom we have retained to show 
 us the way (for twenty-five cents) we move around the 
 mound to the left and soon come upon the great god which 
 formerly stood upon the top, and which Charnay disen- 
 tombed near the base. It stands in the midst of the 
 debris with which the terrified Toltecs covered it in their 
 final overthrow. It measures some ten feet high, I should 
 think, and seven or eight feet through the head. The face 
 is not that of a monster, like the blood-thirsty god of the 
 Aztecs, but it is shapely and not particularly savage in ex- 
 pression. The eyes are as large as a barrel head, the nose 
 flat, the ear-flap ludicrously flanged, the mouth half open 
 and of the shape of a watermelon, as if his majesty were 
 about to whistle, and in the breast a square orifice is 
 cut in which a man perhaps might put his head if he 
 wanted to. The whole is carved from a solid block of gran- 
 ite — or, perhaps, trachite. How did the early Mexicans 
 
240 FOLKS NEXT DOOK. 
 
 cut it from the rock and get it on the top of the pyramid 
 when they had no iron tools or any beasts of burden ? 
 
 Now we climb speedily up the slope, passing on our way 
 to the top the edges of two terraces of solid masonry now 
 mostly filled up. On the side of the pyramid we find very 
 few earthen images or knives of obsidian. The platform 
 of basalt at the top is about seventy feet square, and a 
 modern cylindrical monument crowns the summit where 
 stood the god now dethroned. 
 
 A superb view is obtainable from here — many cities and 
 villages — the distant mountains and white Mexico between. 
 From here we hurry down again and up the pyramid of 
 the moon, where another colossal stone figure has been un- 
 earthed. Neither the figure nor the pyramid is as large 
 as the other. 
 
 We have now walked three or four miles and are uncom- 
 fortably warm. The boys declare that at a restaurant in 
 the little Indian village of San Martin, close by, we can get 
 some wine and a place to lunch. We hasten thither 
 through long paths fenced with organ cactus on both sides 
 that grows 20 feet high, and its immense green jiipes so 
 close together as to form a perfect shade. Shanties of 
 doby, too, we pass, and women covered with a single gar- 
 ment, and babies creeping everywhere — and other creeping 
 things. 
 
 The Indian's dwelling is a modest affair — high enough 
 for liim to stand in when bent, and long enough for him to 
 lie in when ditto. In the lowlands he builds this cabin of 
 rushes or bamboo, wi.th no windows save the crevices be- 
 tween the upright sticks ; on the tablelands, of adobe— mud 
 leaked in the sun. Out here, on the site of the ancient 
 ca])ital of the Toltecs, the Indian huts were built of the 
 stones of the long-perished city. I pushed some naked In- 
 dian children aside and stepped into one. The roof was of 
 palm branches. The floor was of earth. The room, the 
 only one, was unpapercd and unpainted ; in fact, there was 
 nothing to paint or paper, for the walls were of loose 
 
AMONG THE TOLTEC EUINS. 241 
 
 stones, piled up haphazard like those of a rude stone fence. 
 There were no chairs, no table, no bed, no stove. There 
 was a bit of charcoal fire between some stones. Near b}' 
 was the familiar flat stone, by the side of which the brown 
 lady of the house knelt and broke grains of corn, mixed 
 some water in, and flattened the paste into cakes with a 
 stone roller. The wardrobe of the family not in use was 
 in one corner — a torn shirt suspended from a bit of palm- 
 leaf. There were a few unglazed pots and pans, large 
 dij)pers of gourd-shell, and a chromo of the vegetable com- 
 pounded by Lydia Pinkham, which I suppose was an ob- 
 ject of religious worship. Kush mats answered for seats, 
 table, and beds, and would ultimately serve as shrouds. A 
 shovel hung on the wall, and the woman's sticks for weav- 
 ing lay on a mat. Probably no meat of any sort was ever 
 eaten in this house. Not one of the family can read. 
 Not one of them ever wore a shoe or slept in a bed. The 
 master brewed his own humble liquor from that species 
 of cactus called the maguey, and maize and pulque are 
 their sole support. They seem contented, the whole fam- 
 ily. I wonder if a multi-millionaire is any happier. 
 
 At last we come to the welcome cabin-restaurant — an 
 open door, a counter, a half-lireed behind it, three Indian 
 customers in various toggery in front of it buying trifles 
 to eat. The only dry goods I see are a few yards of calico 
 and a little coarse white muslin. The favorite edible is 
 contained in an immense earthen bowl, and looks like ma- 
 hogany shavings swimming in mud. Tlio proprietor says 
 it is pork, and two men take some of it to their little dishes. 
 While I am inspecting some bundles of palm-leaf basket- 
 work that prove to contain brown sugar, a boy suddenly 
 leads a horse up tlirough the store and around the end 
 of the counter and up a couple of stairs into another room. 
 
 We can get no w'me, but can have some coffee, which is 
 quite as good. Wo are assigned to a table in one corner 
 of the apartment, and a brown girl kindly puts a brown 
 bedspread on it and we sit down and wait, taking out our 
 
24:2 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 hiiicli meantime. We hear a griint and start. It is an 
 unsatisfied grunt^, and proceeds from the shady corner of 
 the room. A pig, as sure as I have ej^es. A red pig ! In 
 fact, two red pigs and one little girl in one modest gar- 
 ment. I had seen red pigs out on the National road — 
 they are a staple of this land. The little girl held them 
 both tethered by a string — the kind-hearted little girl ! 
 
 As we ate our frugal meal — not so frugal as it would 
 have been without the chicken and tongue sandwiches from 
 our bags — each piggy kept up a running comment of 
 nasal remonstrance, and when we departed the kind- 
 hearted little girl led forth her charge and she and they 
 took what was left. 
 
 We hastened back to the station, through the pulque and 
 corn fields, past the long, splendid files of the organ cac- 
 tus, and we found more gods^ and we met other dozens 
 of girls and boys and women with gods to sell, and we 
 replenished our pagan stock and took the cars, with a hun- 
 dred or two images apiece, and we unanimously passed a 
 resolution that if anybody is manufacturing counterfeit 
 gods in Mexico he is working for nothing and boarding 
 himself. 
 
THE LAND BAEONS OF MEXICO. 243 
 
 THE LAND BAEONS OF MEXICO. 
 
 REAL ESTATE MONOPOLIZED BY FEW. — IMMENSE LAND 
 TRUSTS. — A FARM LARGER THAN MASSACHUSETTS. — HOW 
 HACIENDADOS KEEP PEONS IN BONDAGE. NEED OF EN- 
 TERPRISE. — INDUSTRIAL OPPORTUNITIES. — DRIVE WELLS. 
 
 The one change of which Mexico stands most in need 
 is an increase in the number of its proprietors. It is now 
 a vast land with few owners. 
 
 Mexico is as large as all the United States east of the 
 Mississippi, and has a population of thirteen million; but 
 its land is owned, it is said, by less than 20,000 people ! 
 Only one person in 600 is a land-owner. That is, only one in 
 600 owns any of the soil, and this one is generally a de- 
 scendant of those who seized the land under that devout 
 prince of liars and brigands, Hernando Cortez, who ravaged 
 and plundered this lovely land in the name of God. There 
 are no small farms in Mexico, nothing but vast haciendas, 
 enormous estates, whose homestead is a fortress of masonry, 
 high walls and frowning, and whose laborer? are little 
 better than slaves. 
 
 One of these haciendas comes in view every few miles. 
 There are some 13,000 of them in Mexico, and they own 
 four-fifths of all the land. One of them, reaching from 
 El Paso down to Chihuahua, covers 4,000 square miles, 
 more than three times as large as Ehode Island. Another, 
 still larger, near the mouth of the Eio Grande, belongs 
 to a rich family, and there is nnother wyi the National 
 Eoad that includes from 10,000 to 13,000 square miles, as 
 large as Connecticut aud Massachusetts! — These over- 
 shadowing haciendas were grants of the King of Spain 
 
2i4 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 to his cavaliers after the conquest, and, owing to the law of 
 primogeniture, which was repealed but recently, they re- 
 mained mostly intact. This feudal system of vase estates 
 is the present weakness and constant peril of the Re- 
 public. 
 
 They are not held for speculative purposes like the 
 great areas in Dakota and Montana, to be sold by-and-by 
 to the people, but are kept for what can be filched from 
 their depreciating acres year by year by aristocratic owners, 
 who often live in New York or in some of the great cities 
 of Europe and as indolently receive their tribute as did 
 the Aztec Caciques of old. 
 
 One of the largest of these haciendas contains towns, 
 villages, and cities, and a great population of persons. 
 The owner lives in Paris. These enormous ranches are 
 not merely agricultural divisions of Mexico : they are also 
 political divisions, giving a real feudal importance to the 
 owners. The proprietor of a hacienda strives to keep all 
 the people in his debt by trusting them at his stores, and 
 as long as the employee owes monej^ he is likely to remain 
 a sort of appendage of the soil. 
 
 Having got rid of the incubus of the church, Mexico 
 now needs to fling off the incubus of the baron. She can- 
 not have great prosperity till her land is made accessible 
 to the common people. How this will come about is a 
 prol:)lem ; perhaps by the wisdom of the haciendados them- 
 selves, who, attaining an enlightened self-interest, will be 
 able to see that a subdivision of these great estates will 
 promote their own good in the end, as well as the good of 
 others. If every hacienda in Mexico were cleft through 
 the middle and half of it given away in small parcels to 
 the more ambitious of the peons who now work upon it, 
 the donor would be enriched by his act of justice and 
 generosity. The stubbornness of the untitled nobles in 
 clinging greedily to every rood that the Spaniards wrenched 
 from the Aztecs at the point of the sword finds a fitting 
 parallel in the ignorant blindness of the peons themselves. 
 
THE LA]S'D BARONS OF MEXICO. 245 
 
 who often destroy labor-saving machinery, not compre- 
 hending the subtle fact that every device that multiplies 
 the necessities and luxuries of life without the interven- 
 tion of the human hand, blesses and benefits all men, and 
 especially the 230or. 
 
 The Government feels the need of immigration, so it 
 offers a bonus for all foreigners who come. Agents are 
 employed to bring settlers into the country, and $40 or 
 $50 a head is paid (or promised) for every immigrant, and 
 each helpless one gets 25 cents a day till he can support 
 himself. This becomes often a mere scheme of charity 
 for loafers. The plan is of course inadequate. No liberal 
 bonus to settlers will solve the problem. It will be solved 
 to the benefit of all when the great feudal lords, the un- 
 titled nobility of this realm of eternal summer, come to 
 comprehend that this is the twentieth century instead of 
 the sixteenth, and when every haciendado, grown enlight- 
 ened, voluntarily relinquishes half of his land to the State, 
 to be given away to actual settlers. Then no bonus will 
 be needed to fill the land with enterprise and wealth. The 
 average citizen of our day, like the mythological hero of 
 old Greece, acquires new strength when he can touch the 
 ground. 
 
 No mere workingman of the United States should come 
 to Mexico — not even a miner, unless he possess ability to 
 sujDerintend — for there is now a glut of labor here at 40 
 cents a day. Three-quarters of the people of Mexico can 
 be hired very cheap. They never had an ancestor wlio 
 could read or write, or who had any manual training of 
 any kind, or wore any clothes but a blanket or its equiva- 
 lent, and they live at a smaller daily expense than the 
 average dog costs in New York city. American labor can 
 not compete with these. 
 
 Nobody should come here except manufacturers, con- 
 tractors, mine-developers, large drovers — nu'u witli money, 
 skill, sagacity and pluck, for these there is an abundant re- 
 ward. What is needed is more Yankee (or some other 
 
24G FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 sort of) enterprise — that is, brains and capital, to shorten 
 the distance between supply and demand. 
 
 A great deal of money is yet to be made here by those 
 who invest in drainage companies, in irrigation and re- 
 clamation companies, in the manufacture of paper, cotton 
 and woolen cloths and hardware, in dredging and break- 
 water building, in good hotels and boarding-houses, in pe- 
 troleum wells and refineries, in district telegraph and tele- 
 phone companies. 
 
 Mexico produces every metal that science has named, and 
 yields nearly half the stock of existing silver in the world. 
 In her manifold harvest is almost every fruit and vegetable 
 product between the equator and the poles. Though the 
 Aztecs made their hatchets of copper and tin, her deposits 
 of iron are unsurpassed, giving to enterprise and energy 
 an unlimited field of action. 
 
 Mexico is a great and splendid mine of gold that has 
 never been worked. Though with a population of 13,000,- 
 000 its entire annual product, counting vegetables, cereals, 
 fruit, lumber, metals, and precious stones, is less than that 
 of the single State of Indiana — less even than that of New 
 Jersey. And the x\mericans in business here are few. 
 The whole number of people who came to Mexico last year 
 from the United States was less than the Europeans who 
 land at Castle Garden in one day from a single steamer ! 
 This is yet the terra incognita — the land of great possibili- 
 ties. 
 
 Let us examine the details of these possibilities : 
 
 There is need in Mexico for a large number of canning 
 establishments. Almost every savory fruit and vegetable 
 known to the markets of the world grows here in abundant 
 perfection, yet no effort is made to preserve it. There is 
 fruit enough grown here to supply the world, scores of de- 
 licious varieties of which I do not even know the name, but 
 there is hardly a canning factory in Mexico. Hitherto 
 this industry has been impossible, because transportation 
 was so expensive that it cost too much to gather the fruit 
 
THE LAND BARONS OF MEXICO. 247 
 
 at one point, but the completion of 12,000 miles of rail- 
 way in the country solves the problem of transportation, 
 and enables Mexico to do a large export business in canned 
 staples. 
 
 Mexico is supplied with an unlimited quantity of the 
 cactus and yucca plants, the best known material 
 for paper, and yet she has only three or four paper-mills, 
 and these turn out a small quantity and poor quality. She 
 possesses an abundance of cheap labor, and material enough 
 to supply the whole world with paper, yet she imports from 
 across the sea almost all she uses. If, in any of the rural 
 towns, you send out for sugar, it will be handed or sent 
 to you done up in a little matting of woven palm-leaf; if 
 you ask for butter, it will be handed to you wrapped up 
 in a corn-husk from which the ear has been removed. 
 Hardly any wrapping-paper is used outside of this city. 
 There is plenty of clear running water — not on this great 
 plateau but all around the sides of it for a distance of 
 3,000 miles. A good deal of money is to be made in the 
 manufacture of pajjer here. 
 
 There are no glass-works to speak of in Mexico. Nearly 
 all of the window-glass is imported and sold here at enor- 
 mous prices, while every State contains admirable deposits 
 of silica well adapted to the fabrication of glass in all 
 forms. I think there are not three bottle factories in the 
 whole country, for medicine is often sent to the patient in 
 l)eer bottles and beer in medicine bottles. 
 
 In half of the twenty-seven Mexican States cotton is 
 cultivated. It grows in all the lowland States, and the 
 land yields at least twice as much as in our own Southern 
 States. Yet the cotton-mills here turn out (Uilv the coars- 
 est sort of cloth (the dress for the peons), and niost of 
 the calico, of which an enormous quantity is worn, is im- 
 ported and sold here for 10 to 20 cents a yard. 
 
 There is great need of the organization of companies 
 for the purpose of irrigation. Artilitial watering of the 
 land (riogo) is necessary for more than half of the surface 
 
248 FOLKS NP]XT DOOR. 
 
 of the country. In the Aztec Empire irrigating ditches 
 were used, and Cortez was astonished to find here a sj'stem 
 equal to that which the Moors had established in Spain. 
 Under Spanish rule here, however, tliis establishment, like 
 almost everything else in Mexico, has degenerated, till 
 now only a small part of the arable land of the country 
 is supplied with water. There is an era of rich land five 
 times as large as the State of New York that needs only 
 such water as could be easily obtained to be made marvel- 
 ously productive, yielding a hundred times its present store 
 of wheat. This could be procured by damming up the 
 huge ravines or barrancas in the mountains and economi- 
 cally distributing water from these reservoirs, or by arte- 
 sian-wells and drive-wells, which the Mexicans at 2:)resent 
 know little about. 
 
 Again : I step down to the street and ask the price of 
 a pineapple, a fruit which is now ripe through the low- 
 land states. It is 50 cents, and I can get one for the same 
 money in Fulton market, ^ew York. In August pines will 
 sell for 25 cents here; for 10' or 12 in New York. Water- 
 melons in great quantities are ripe throughout the tierra 
 calientc, but a half-size watermelon costs fifty cents in the 
 capital of Mexico. 
 
 The petroleum-wells of the Tuxpan district have over- 
 flowed the whole country round, but kerosene sells at 50 
 cents a gallon in this cit}^, and $1.00 a gallon in most other 
 cities. 
 
 There are huge mountains of iron in Durango and 
 Sonora; but pig-iron in 1884 was $80 a ton in Mexico, 
 against $18 or $20 a ton in New York; bar-iron was six 
 cents a pound here, against two cents a pound there ; and 
 castings were 11 cents a pound here against two or three 
 cents a pound in the United States. Eails are all im- 
 ported. 
 
 Along the line of the National Eailroad on the Texas 
 frontier are vast deposits of excellent coal, but all the 
 coal used in Mexico is brought from England — thousands 
 
THE LAND BAKONS OF MEXICO. 249 
 
 of tons a month- — and the most of the country is without 
 any adequate fuel of any kind. No railway runs to the 
 tremendous hardwood forests and timber belts of the South. 
 Hard coal costs $24.50 a ton ; soft coal, $23. 
 
 This is a natural sugar-producing country, and cane 
 grows wild in several States, but so sluggish are the sugar- 
 planters that Mexico imports one-tenth of all she uses, 
 and sugar brings the same ])Tice here as in Chicago. 
 
 In two-thirds of the country there is eight months' 
 grazing every year, and in the other third there is twelve 
 months' grazing; yet good butter sells in this city at 50 
 cents "a pound, and the same price a pound is also paid for 
 canned corned-beef brought from New York. 
 
 Indeed, manufacturing is in its infancy here. Walk 
 through this city and look in at the store windows and you 
 shall see the very same merchandise you see in the stores 
 of New York, London, or Paris. All fine goods of every 
 sort except raw pearls and opals, are brought across the 
 sea. 
 
 There is a good market here for agricultural imple- 
 ments, but they need pushing. The people are inclined 
 to stick to their old habits. In some States they still reap 
 their wheat with a little hooked clasp-knife, the blade of 
 which is about an inch and a half long a good many 
 farmers in Nuevo Leon, adjoining Texas, ploA\ two inches 
 deep with a forked stick. 
 
 So let it be understood that this is no place fen- untrained 
 ]al)orers to come. It is also no place for men who wish 
 to get land for a farm unless they are prepared to liuy 
 5,000 acres or upward and begin on a gigantic scale. 
 There are no small farms in Mexico farmed by white men, 
 and even if a settler could get one or two or three lumdred 
 acres somewhere (which is doubtful), he would have no 
 society, no schools, no neighbors, no market, and he would 
 be bankrupt before he began. 
 
250 hX)LKii NEXT DOOE. 
 
 OKIGI^^ OF THE MEXICANS. 
 
 BEFORE COLUMBUS AND LEIF ERICSSON. EDEN AT THE 
 
 NORTH POLE. — DISCOVERIES BY ACCIDENT. — THE VOY- 
 AGE OF HWUI SHAN. THE EMPEROR OF CHINA HEARS 
 
 HIS STORY. — KING ASOKA SENDS MISSIONARIES TO FU 
 SANG. — CURIOUS COINCIDENCES. 
 
 Nobody can walk through the silent streets of the' 
 ruined cities of the Toltecs at San Juan and other places, 
 or even look upon the great images of their gods which the 
 Aztecs left in this city, without asking over and over again 
 whence came those old civilizations. The problem still 
 baffles us but it is not quite so inscrutable as it once was 
 when it was supposed that the torrid zone was the cradle 
 of the race and that Leif Ericsson or Columbus was the 
 first European discoverer of this continent. 
 
 Science throws light upon the question. The classifi- 
 cation of the little knowledge Ave possess concerning the 
 earth's evolution, makes it probable that the human race 
 originated at the poles of the earth, which were the ear- 
 liest portions of the planet to become cool enough to sup- 
 port life; that the uniform migration is ever towards the 
 equator, and that along that belt, when the sun has lost 
 its fervor and the earth has become frozen up, the last 
 of our kind will finall}^ perish. From the original place 
 where man was developed from inferior animal forms, at 
 least half a million years ago, and probalily a million, the 
 Mexicans may have trekked southward and lingered in 
 this rul de snr under the tropic of Cancer. 
 
 But that they have been constantly visited Ity people 
 from across the sea is now ol)vious. Even if the Atlantis 
 
ORIGIX OF THE MEXICANS. 251 
 
 of Plato, Aristotle and Ignatius Donnelly should be only 
 a brilliant and plausible myth, the early Mexicans were by 
 no means lonesome. During this very generation a 
 Chinese junk has been blown across the Pacific every few 
 years and stranded with shipw^recked sailors on the coast 
 of California or Oregon. If this was equally true in the 
 past, hundreds of shipwrecked barks must have landed on 
 our Pacific coast, manned by Oriental people who con- 
 stantly modified the blood, the laws, the language, the re- 
 ligion and the manners of the natives. 
 
 Indeed, the great voyage of the Hindoo, Hwui Shan, 
 fourteen hundred years ago is now regarded as pretty well 
 authenticated. It seems that he made his famous expe- 
 dition in the last decade of the 5th century of our era, 
 and in 499 he reappeared in China on his difficult return 
 homeward. He was fortunate in attracting there the at- 
 tention of scholars, and was summoned before the em- 
 peror, to whom he told his wonderful story. The em- 
 peror commanded the official historian to make a full 
 record of it, and there to-day it remains, subject to in- 
 spection and study, in the archives of the Celestial Em- 
 pire. 
 
 The voyage of Hwui Shan was for missionary purposes 
 — to bring the light of Buddism to the nations that were 
 in darkness. Buddism has existed for 2500 years and is 
 to-day the prevailing religion of the world. About 300 
 B. C. arose Asoka, King of Magadha, who became to Bud- 
 dism what Constantine later became to Christianity, ex- 
 cept that he did not propagate his religion by persecution 
 and the sword. Following the teaching and example of 
 the gentle Budda he preached his own religion earnestly, 
 Init tolerated all. He did not resort to bloodshed. But 
 he excited among the monks of Hindostan a wonderful 
 spirit of propagandism, and, with shaven tonsures, they 
 girt their ropes and hair shirts about them and carried 
 their new gospel into all the world — to Africa, Turkey, 
 Norway, Russia, China and Japan. 
 
FOLKS XP]XT DOOE. 
 
 It was in the crusade thus begun that Hwui Shan found 
 Mexico. With four other monks of his order he pressed 
 northeasterly from Hindostan, preaching the blessings of 
 Nirvana in China, Thibet, Mongolia, Kamskatka; then, 
 in a boat they crossed to Alaska by the Aleutian islands, 
 and down the Pacific coast to California and Mexico. He 
 called Mexico Fu-sang, after a marvelous tree or bush 
 which flourished there, bearing broad leaves, from which 
 the inhabitants obtained food and drink, and thread to 
 make clothing of, and paper to write on. He declared 
 that the country was due east from China, and described 
 the people and their habits and land; said they had no 
 Availed cities — which is true of all Mexico; and that they 
 were not warlike which was probably true of the Toltecs, 
 whom the Aztecs expelled. Hwui Shan had got separated 
 from his companions, and knew not what became of them. 
 He managed to make his way back alone, however, for 
 there was only one place where he needed to be out of sight 
 of land, and then only for a single day. His comrades 
 prol)ably became denizens and jjriests of Fu-sang, im- 
 mensely modifying the religion and customs of the land. 
 
 No other theory enables us to explain the strange coin- 
 cidences that are found to exist between the people on the 
 eastern and western shores of the great Pacific sea. 
 
 When Cortez arrived here he found incense on the altars 
 and the Aztecs bowed before the great Latin cross of gran- 
 ite on the face of which they had sculptured the grotesque 
 image of their god — the same cross now exhibited in the 
 patio of the museum. It is well known that the cross was 
 a familiar religious symbol in Hindostan before Christ, 
 and that many of the ceremonies of his religion were bor- 
 rowed from the Hindoos. They had record of a deluge, 
 wliich only one man and one woman survived. Coxcox and 
 his wife, both Aztecs. When the waters had subsided they 
 sent out a dove to distribute tlie languages. Another tril)e 
 five hundred miles iiorthwest of here had n similar tra- 
 dition. Tlieir Xoah was named Tezpi. and he escaped 
 
ORIGIN OF THE MEXICANS. 253 
 
 with a boat filled with animals. He sent out a humming- 
 bird, which returned with a twig in its mouth. 
 
 The building of the great pyramid of Cholula, 100 
 miles south of this city, was abandoned because the Aztecs' 
 god sent fire and thunder-bolts upon it to punish them for 
 their blasphemy — so they say. 
 
 In the Aztec religion the goddess Civacoatl was the first 
 to bear children, " and therefore," says the tradition, " by 
 her came sin into the world." 
 
 The Aztecs practiced the rites of confession and pen- 
 ance, and even held in a modified form the important 
 dogmas of the trinity and incarnation. 
 
 The Aztecs had monasteries and nunneries, monks and 
 nuns. They had fanatical ascetics and took vows of per- 
 petual poverty and continence. Their priest was called 
 " tlama " ; the Persian priest was " lama " ; the Buddist 
 priest was " blama." Their idols are always modestly 
 clad, like those of India. Their ruined temples resemble 
 the Buddist temples of the East, and the statues of their 
 god held a mirror in the hand, like Budda, in which he 
 could see all the actions of men, and all events of the 
 future. Their books folded back and forth, like those of 
 Siam. Their anchors were four strong hooks without 
 barbs like those of Asia. They played a game called 
 " patolli " which seems to have been the same as the 
 ^' pachisi " played by the Hindoos and familiar to all Amer- 
 ican children Avho are acquainted Avith the l)ack-gammon 
 board. 
 
 For communion, before the Spanish came, they made a 
 wafer of corn meal mixed with blood, which the people 
 ate in sorrow and humiliation, declaring it the flesh of 
 deity. 
 
 They baptized infants, touching them with water on the 
 forehead and lips after an invocation. 
 
 Montezuma's court as depicted by Bernal Diaz was very 
 similar to that of the Grand Khan described by Marco 
 Polo. The marriage ceremony of the Aztecs was much 
 
254 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 like that of the Mongols; and both burned their dead, col- 
 lected the ashes and deposited at the bottom of each urn 
 a single precious stone ! Such a fantastic parallel could 
 hardly have been accidental. 
 
 Both the Mexicans and the Mongols divided the year 
 into twelve months, which they named after animals, and 
 seven of the months they named for the same animals, 
 while the other five whose names the Mongol months bear 
 did not exist in Mexico. Can this have been a coinci- 
 dence ? 
 
 Of course certain likenesses in the ways of primitive 
 peoples are attributable to nature, necessity and circum- 
 stance — such as the building of huts, the fashioning of 
 hatchets and arrows from stone, the stringing of bows, 
 the digging out of canoes, and the deduction of a deity 
 and a devil, but a close resemblance in the elaborate rites 
 of religion would seem to be outside of the range of this 
 tendency. 
 
 But the Aztecs had a fierce and relentless God, Taotl. 
 while the Buddists, now 400,000,000 strong, have no God 
 in their religion, nor any word for God in the languages 
 of the countries which they dominate. 
 
 The Aztecs, too, had plenty of bulls but did not use 
 them for draft purposes; like the Hindoos, they had hun- 
 dreds of thousands of cows, but did not know the use of 
 milk ; they had mountains of iron but had not learned how 
 to work it. If any chance castaway had taught these 
 things it does not seem as if they could have been for- 
 gotten ; but almost any theory is easier than to suppose 
 that the elaborate theological resemblances between the old 
 world and " new Spain " were the result of chance, or 
 that, as Catholics believed, tlio luartyrod a]iostle. St. 
 Thomas, flew over in tlie guise of an angel and taught 
 Christianity to the savages. 
 
COMING TO THE FKONT. 255 
 
 COMING TO THE FEONT. 
 
 SCHOOLS SUPERSEDTN'G CONVENTS. — WORK SUPERSEDING 
 
 WORSHIP. INDIANS HUMANELY CARED POR. THREE 
 
 ENEMIES OF PRESENT PROGRESS.— THE BACKWARD-LOOK- 
 ERS. THE HACIENDADOS AND THE RAILROADS. FUTURE 
 
 REVOLUTIONS IMPOSSIBLE.. — VALUE OF CROPS NOW 
 GROWN IN MEXICO. 
 
 During the single generation just past, the Mexican 
 Eepublic has gone far to recover from the stagnation of 
 centuries. On every hand are seen not only signs of life, 
 l)ut demonstrations of vigor and tokens of advancement. 
 
 Modern methods are rapidly reconstructing Mexico. 
 The inventor has invaded the country and railroads and 
 telegraphs are overrunning it as the Spaniards did, and, 
 unlike the Spaniards, they are filling its veins with the 
 ichor of a life not only new but vastly better. Since the 
 confiscation of church property and the banishment of re- 
 ligious societies, worldly interests are more and more tak- 
 ing the place of other worldly interests. The soul is being 
 talked about less and the body is being cared for more. 
 Schools are superseding convents; the locomotive is push- 
 ing the burro to the wall ; the din of commerce is disturbing 
 the confessional. The need of redemption is still discussed 
 in the council-chamber, but it is redemption from unsani- 
 tary and unsavory conditions. Most of the poor and ig- 
 norant, the Indians and mestizoes, are still as devout as 
 ever were the Inquisitors themselves, but even they are 
 startled while telling their beads by the sceptical presence 
 of the twentieth century looking down upon them. 
 
 It is highly satisfactory to record that many of the abo- 
 
25G FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 riginal race are well to do, having been partly cared 
 for by the race that overran their land and plundered them 
 of their possessions. The Spaniards, badly as they treated 
 the Indians, treated them better than we did; for, instead 
 of branding them wanderers and nomads, as we falsely 
 called our Indians, making the falsehood our excuse for 
 cruelly driving them from their permanent homes, the 
 Spaniards recognized them, if not as possessing • civil 
 rights, at least as human beings who loved their families; 
 and they not only conceded to them the right of self-gov- 
 ernment, but to every Indian village the conquerors gave 
 two square miles of land which they still cultivate in com- 
 mon and hold as their own. Perhaps this is not much, 
 but it is something. I wonder if it has ever occurred to 
 Masachusetts, Connecticut, Ehode Island, New York and 
 the Western States to hunt up the descendants and heirs 
 of King Philip and Massasoit, Santoway, Osceola, White 
 pjagle, Ogalalla, Eed Jacket, Tecumseh, Uncas, Sitting- 
 Bull, and Hole-In-The-Day, and pay them annuities for 
 the sufferings and losses of their people? I do not re- 
 member it. I wonder if our petrified American conscience 
 will ever soften and move us to make some trifling reim- 
 bursement to the brown men of the Orient whom we have 
 subjugated with sword and torch and from whom we have 
 stolen their beautiful islands? 
 
 There are now in Mexico some twelve thousand miles of 
 railroad, twice as many miles of telephone, and four times 
 as many miles of telegraph. Horse railroads are numer- 
 ous. No religious pageant is allowed to parade the streets, 
 and, although there are said to be 365 saints' days, or one 
 for every day in the year, they arc not allowed to greatly in- 
 terfere with industry. 
 
 There arc three sturdy opponents of t]u> progressive 
 movement — the aristocrats, the Catholics, and the brig- 
 ands. All of these parties would be glad to see a return 
 to the comfortable old times which existed before the 
 spirit of activity and restless enterprise took possession of 
 
COMING TO THP] FRONT. 257 
 
 the land. The first mentioned of the baclcward-lookers 
 constitute a party of conservatives here, corresponding to 
 tlie Tories of England, but they are not very numerous or 
 very active. They lament " the good old days " when the 
 church was dominant and Maximilian was emperor, and 
 are shocked at the reign of infidelity and republicanism, 
 under which men can believe what they please, go to 
 church or stay away, govern themselves or let a junta gov- 
 ern them. They scoff at " the rabble,'' draw up their 
 pharasaical garments, and anticipate the return of the 
 day when king and pope will come again with a strong 
 hierarchy and an invincible army. But these people are 
 not aggressive. They scoff in a sleepy fashion, and will 
 never do much to foment a revolution. They are generally 
 content with their broad acres and their superior respec- 
 tability, and when they talk about the need of a change, 
 they always add " manana."' 
 
 Nowhere does opposition to progress originate with in- 
 telligent- laboring men or even with the working Indians, 
 the peons, for the best of reasons. Wherever the railroad 
 goes it at once doubles the wages of the peons, who dig and 
 delve, who plant and reap and take care of the herds on 
 the haciendas — the great farms of Mexico. At this very 
 time there are places in Mexico where the peon gets only 
 18 to 20 cents a day, the uniform wages of twenty-five 
 years ago. As soon as a railroad approaches up go the 
 wages to 40, 50, 60, 80 cents a day. At this the hacien- 
 dado growls, unless, indeed, he have enterprise and fore- 
 thought enough to see that the new market will double the 
 value of his crops also. The haciendados wdio oppose the 
 " new-fangled contrivance " the most bitterly are those 
 who are near enough to a railroad to have it interfere with 
 the wages of their workmen, but not quite near enough to 
 have it raise the price of their corn, wheat and potatoes. 
 
 " Eailroads ! h — m ! " exclaimed one of these the other 
 day. " Talk about their improving the country ! They're 
 a damage! Why, when the railroads got within twenty 
 
258 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 miles of me my peons began to sidle ofi' and get work there 
 for better wages than I was paying them, and now they 
 expect me to pay them twice as much as they had before, 
 and if I refuse they quit and work for somebody else. 
 That's what the railroad docs ! It raises wages — and they 
 say that benefits the country ! It is disastrous ! that's 
 what it is ! " 
 
 There is another element of opposition- — I mean those 
 local partisans who are in a chronic state of discontent. 
 For the railroads pretty nearly make future revolutions 
 impossible. Eebels hereafter will get short shrift. Through 
 the railroads and telegraphs the Government now can lay 
 its hand suddenly on Mexico. Formerly some chief in 
 the states of Michoacan or Durango could revolt, raise an 
 army and establish himself as a successful chieftain, and 
 the Government might not hear of it in a week or two, or 
 be able to reach it in a month ; but now the telegraph 
 conveys the news in a minute and the cars will throw half 
 a dozen regiments of federal troops in there within twenty- 
 four hours, or thirty-six at the furthest. The Central 
 road is a most poAverful arm of defense, and the great 
 Mexican National road is quite as puissant, for besides 
 watching over the whole middle plateau of the repulilic 
 from north to south, it vaults across a pass in the Sierras 
 11 000 feet high and serves as a sentinel on the Pacific. 
 
 If I remember correctly, the Great West of America is 
 the paradise of drive-wells. Let some drive-well manu- 
 facturers come to Mexico to try tlieiv hand. Tlu\v are 
 needed here, if anywhere on earth. One-half of this whole 
 country — an area large enough to make eight States like 
 Illinois — is wholly without rain during seven numllis of 
 every year. This huge plateau all lies more tlian a mile 
 high and evaporation is so rapid here that no dew falls. 
 Deprived of moisture, the soil is also deprived of vegeta- 
 tion, and. during most of the year the landsca]ie is wofully 
 barren and unattractiv(\ A few forests in the vicinity of 
 springs, as around the slope of Chapultepec. manage to 
 
COMING TO THE FRONT. 259 
 
 exist, and files of shade-trees here and there are kept alive 
 by being artificially watered every day — a sort of basin 
 of masonry being built about each tree to prevent the 
 water from running off. 
 
 During the year 1899 the total value of agricultural 
 products, fermented drinks, and medicinal plants in the 
 Republic was as follows: 
 
 DURING THE YEAR 1889 THE TOTAL VALUE OF AGRL 
 CULTURAL PRODUCTS. 
 
 Rice $ 2,309,021 Unfermented 
 
 Barley 5,591.533 pulque 9,292,575 
 
 Indian corn 72,807,2(>5 Heniquen 33,227,203 
 
 Wheat 17,(507,924 Ixtle 808,621 
 
 Chickling vetch .... 427,997 Cotton 4,679,628 
 
 Beans ... 7.847,898 Grape brandy 139,064 
 
 Chick-peas 1.687,439 Grape wine 307,225 
 
 Lima beans 1,136,485 Indigo 35.826 
 
 Lentils 98.647 Brazil 145,656 
 
 Sweet potatoes 369,898 Campeachey 266,507 
 
 Huacamote 49,834 Cascalote 59,092 
 
 Potatoes 1,387,973 Tanning bark 1.557,091 
 
 Green peppers 2,420,563 Cocoa 689,907 
 
 Dried peppers 1,960,307 Coffee 11,065,657 
 
 Sugar 13,283,338 Tobacco 2.038,897 
 
 Brown sugar 5.022,500 Vanilla 868,967 
 
 Molasses 2,246,450 Chewing gum 502,471 
 
 Sesame seed 45,502 India rubber 272,821 
 
 Peanuts 344,674 Mezqviite gum 9,523 
 
 Linseed 172,58 Cocoa gmn 9,062 
 
 Rum 15,748,558 Jalap 15,830 
 
 Pulque 6,196,703 Sarsaparilla 7,464 
 
 Corn being the principal article of food, the failure of 
 the crop causes much suffering, and the peons must then 
 subsist on unripe fruit, berries, and roots. 
 
 If water could be obtained at any reasonable price for 
 irrigation, Mexico could easily raise 100 times as much 
 wheat as now, for two crops are easily harvested a year on 
 the terraces at the edge of the plateau, the seed yielding 
 a hundred and fifty fold. 
 
 Ramie thrives in Mexico and attains peculiar excellence. 
 Four crops may be cut annually from the same field, and 
 
;ciGO 
 
 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 each crop will give more pounds per acre than the ordinary 
 yield of cotton. The fibre of the plant is stronger than 
 cotton or flax, and is declared to be " equal to silk in all 
 respects." Its value in market is more than four times 
 as great as the ordinary upland cotton, and twice as great 
 as Sea-Island cotton. It requires but little labor. 
 
 The castor-oil plant is indigenous to Mexico, and grows 
 everywhere along the coast spontaneously and abundantly. 
 The expense of cultivation is very small, and it returns a 
 net result of $250 to $300 per acre after deducting $20 
 an acre for tillage and harvesting. If 50 per cent, of this 
 be deducted for machinery we still have a very fair profit 
 for the first year's crop and the needful machinery on 
 hand for future years. 
 
 Compared with the United States, the annual corn-crop 
 is one-tenth as great, the wheat-crop one-forty-fifth, and. 
 the cotton-crop but one forty-fifth. That is, Mexico grows 
 only one-half as much corn per capita as does the United 
 States, although it is the main article of food, and almost 
 everybody eats it three times a day ; and it grows only 
 one-ninth as much cotton, although cotton is the only ar- 
 ticle of dress of three-fourths of the people, and is worn 
 the year round. 
 
 Cotton thrives in half of the Mexican States — all 
 through the lowlands and up to an elevation of 5,000 feet. 
 If the seed be planted in March it will ripen in August 
 and mature in September. The crude methods of culture 
 hitherto employed and the want of transportation have 
 prevented the development of this industry, but better 
 methods are now being adopted and better results may be 
 looked for. 
 
MEXICANS AS REPUBLIC MAKEES. 261 
 
 MEXICANS AS EEPUBLIC MAKEES. 
 
 LOOKING NORTH FOK AN EXAMrLE. — A LIBERAL CONSTITU- 
 TION. — VOTERS AND VOTING. — PEACE AND ORDER FOLLOW 
 TURBULENCE. WHAT SORT OF MAN IS DIAZ? AN IM- 
 PORTANT REVOLUTION. NO LONGER A PARIAH AMONG 
 
 THE NATIONS. 
 
 The United States of Mexico, as the country south of 
 us is oflficially styled, has a government organized on the 
 model of our republic. Its constitution is copied after 
 ours as interpreted by the war for the Union. It is not 
 a confederation of states, but it is a nation : a consolidated 
 and indissoluble republic. There are twenty-seven states 
 and each of them has a governor and a legislature. There 
 are also two territories. The ideal of Mexico is that all 
 poAver resides in the people, and that taxation and rep- 
 resentation go together; it has a quadrennial president', 
 like ours, and a forked Congress, like ours, elected from 
 districts the form and size of which are sometimes regu- 
 lated by equity and sometimes by chicanery. The Mexi- 
 can Congress consists of two senators from each state and 
 three for the territories, serving four years each, and a 
 Chamber of Deputies with some 230 members. It sits 
 twice a year — in September and April. According to the 
 constitution, marriage is a civil not a religious compact. 
 The oath " so help me God " is abolished in all courts, and 
 a witness is required only to promise to speak the truth. 
 A married man becomes a citizen of Mexico at eighteen 
 years of age, but an unmarried man must wait till he is 
 twenty-one. All citizens have the right to vote and be 
 
26.8 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 voted for, and this includes all men born in Mexico with- 
 out regard to race or color. 
 
 I never before was in a country where the people showed 
 so much interest in the government and so little interest 
 in politics. The president is elected b}^ unanimous indif- 
 ference. Many hate the administration and denounce it 
 roundly in private, but it never seems to occur to any of 
 them to overthrow it according to law. There are plenty 
 of gangs of marplots here, but no parties; plenty of con- 
 spirators, but no jDublic champions. As there are no par- 
 ties, there are none of the accessories of parties. It is like 
 our Washington city, without a party press, without a 
 party platform, without a nominating convention, without 
 a caucus, without a registration of voters, without a stump 
 speech, and, I fear it must be added in consequence, almost 
 without a patriot. When the quadrennium runs around, 
 the President incumbent and his particular junta pick out 
 his successor. To oppose him is constructive treason, and 
 it is assumed by all that the man thus named can be de- 
 feated only by a revolution. 
 
 This country may be said to be a Limited Eepulilic, 
 limited to about ten persons. Everybody is entitled to 
 vote but nobody votes. That is, next to nobody. By law, 
 all permanent residents — Spaniards, Americans, Italians, 
 Germans, Indians, negroes, mulattoes, mestizoes and zam- 
 boes — can vote on arriving at 21 5^ears of age. There 
 is no secret ballot, but each one must be signed Mdth the 
 voter's name and residence. 
 
 In the country there is a voting place near every ha- 
 cienda. In the capital there are twenty-five such pre- 
 cincts — one for each 10,000 of the population. The vot- 
 ing offices are called casillas elect orales (little houses for 
 election). Each precinct is presided over by a judge and 
 two clerks. Just before election-day the Supervisor sends 
 to each qualified voter a paper called the loJcia, stating 
 that a President is to be chosen and instructing the re- 
 cipient how and where to vote. The latter writes on the 
 
MEXICANS AS REPUBLIC MAKERS. 263 
 
 back of the holeta two names of gentlemen whom he thus 
 designates as electors from his State, signs his name, goes 
 to the polls, and drops it in the box. 
 
 This is what he ma}^ do, I mean, but it is also wliat he 
 doesn't do. Probably not one man in a hundred in Mexico 
 reall}^ votes for President. It goes by default, for some 
 reason that I have not yet distinctly ascertained — partly, 
 I have no doubt, because the voter can not conceal the 
 identity of his ballot. If everybody did vote, according to 
 his honest preferences, I don't know what might happen. 
 Sometimes (they say) the distant haciendado, or the ab- 
 sent haciendado's manager, wishing to stand well in the 
 eyes of the coming President, and moved by that fervent 
 gratitude which is a lively sense of favors expected, col- 
 lects the boletas which have been received by the numerous 
 peons, who work his lordly acres, and generously goes to 
 the casilla and deposits them. Sometimes, when the in- 
 difference of a city is too unanimous to look well in the 
 returns, a regiment of soldiers are disguised in citizens' 
 clothes, it is said, and marched to the casilla, where they 
 solemnly deposit their compound ])oleta which 
 
 comes down as still 
 
 As snowflakes fall upon tlie sod, 
 And executes a freeman's will 
 As lightning does tiie will of God, 
 
 by recording the well-known preference of their boss. 
 
 The President is elected for four years, but before the 
 days of the present incumbent, Porfirio Diaz, not one was 
 fortunate enough to serve out his term. As a matter of 
 fact there were in the nineteenth century fifty-five presi- 
 dents in sixty-seven years, besides one emperor and one 
 regency, and ever}^ one came in through the bloody door 
 of war. During the two years of our contest with Mexico, 
 there were no less than seven changes in the head of the 
 government while Taylor and Scott were advancing. In- 
 deed, two Mexican " presidents" were fighting each other 
 
264 FOLKS XEXT DOOR. 
 
 in the streets of the capital while raw levies were trying 
 to hold the field against the Americans at Contreras and 
 Cherubusco ! The present visitor to the very experienced 
 Capital hears about and perhaps encounters the thrifty 
 old lady who, years ago, desiring to rent a corner room in 
 one of her buildings, announced with a flourish of type 
 that it was " a charming situation — a beautiful window to 
 see the revolutions from " ! She could not rent it for that 
 purpose in these latter humdrum days. 
 
 Mexico has been most fortunate in having such a man 
 as Diaz to direct her destinies for a generation. He was 
 born in 1830 in Oaxaca, the state that had given the im- 
 mortal Benito Juarez to his distracted country twenty- 
 four years before. The mother of Diaz destined him for 
 the church, but he yielded to those martial tendencies 
 which made him a soldier instead. In the intervals of 
 battle he studied law. He was arrested as a traitor and 
 condemned to summary execution by Santa Anna. He 
 escaped through a volley of his sentries. During the 
 long struggle between the liberals and the church, Diaz 
 was always at the front, and during the work of confisca- 
 tion established his reputation as the most daring fighter 
 in Mexico. He was made Brigadier-General by President 
 Juarez. During the French invasion he was the Mexican 
 leader and always in the saddle, and after that was in 
 the thick of the internecine war. There were thirty years 
 of fighting during which Diaz was many times a captive, 
 many times wounded, many times an exile, an outlaw and 
 l)andit in his own country, a fugitive turning at hay as 
 o]i]K>i'lunity offered, in marvelous escapes unnumbered. 
 He was master of Mexico before he became provisional 
 president, in 1876, and since that time he has been the 
 unquestioned ruler. 
 
 The ca1)inet of Diaz consists of distinguished patriots 
 and scholars. A fair example of them is Manuel Gonzales 
 Cosio, Secretary of the Interior. For his brilliant achieve- 
 ments in the war with France he was appointed general. 
 
MEXICANS AS EEPUBLIC MAKERS. 265 
 
 In 1863 he fell into the hands of the French and was 
 carried prisoner to Paris. He shortly escaped with two 
 fellow captives and fled to New York, homeward bound. 
 Their money was spent and they could get no further. In 
 a cheap tavern in Chatham street they drew lots to de- 
 termine which should enlist in the United States army, 
 so that with the bounty the other two might reach home. 
 The lot fell to Cosio, but just as the friends were about 
 to separate a generous American advanced the money re- 
 quired, and they hastened home. At the death of IMaximi- 
 lian, Cosio was elected to the national senate, then Gov- 
 ernor, then appointed a member of the President's Cab- 
 inet. 
 
 At the moment of this present writing it looks as if 
 the ultimate successor of President Diaz would be either 
 the ex-Secretary of War. General Reyes, or the Finance- 
 Secretary, Ijimantour, unless the President should, before 
 election day, "suspend all constitutional guarantees'' as 
 permitted by the constitution itself, and banish them both 
 for sedition. The best thing that could happen would be 
 for Diaz once more to succeed himself. 
 
 In all ways Porfirio Diaz has been the wisest and most 
 judicious friend that Mexico has ever had. Without his 
 strong hand on the helm what revolutions would have 
 shaken and impoA^erished his land ! Before his time she 
 was the butt of derision because of her weakness. Her 
 name was a synonym for disorder and plunder. She was 
 the prey of the priests and the slave of the army. She 
 did not think of jiaying her debts. Her credit and honor 
 were destroyed. 
 
 This wonderful man has built up her military strength, 
 but has made the army subordinate to the civil power. He 
 has fostered education. He has vigorously promoted rail- 
 road building. He has vastly increased agricultural pro- 
 duction. He has given new life to commerce. He has es- 
 tablished his country on the enduring foundations of 
 culture and prosperity. The realm which the brave Juarez 
 
266 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 bequeathed to him he has endowed with the safeguards of 
 national liberty : free schools, free ballot, free speech and a 
 free press, and that progress which these insure. He has 
 rehabilitated the credit of a nation that was bankrupt when 
 he became president. He has seen her imports and exports 
 double during the last ten 3'ears, while they are five times 
 as great as when he became president. If Hidalgo is the 
 Emancipator of Mexico, and Juarez the Savior of Mexico. 
 Diaz is preeminently the Builder of Mexico. Under him 
 she has undergone a peaceful revolution that seems per- 
 manent. For the first time she pays her debts like a man, 
 and proudly wears upon her brow that splendid crown of 
 honor known as a Treasury's Surplus; for the first time 
 she has attained dignity and holds up her head among 
 the nations; for the first time the railroad is blessing the 
 peons and the telegraph is civilizing the priest : for the 
 first time degrading credulity is being superseded by bene- 
 ficent commerce, and for the first time our ne-nrest neigh- 
 bor among so-called republics is vindicating her right to 
 the name by enforcing the equality of all men before the 
 law. Hail Mexico ! 
 
PANAMA. 2G7 
 
 PANAMA. 
 
 HEAT. — YELLOW FEVER. SCORPIONS. — TARANTULAS. 
 
 RAIN. — THE devil's PARADISE. — SIR HENRY MORGAN. 
 
 THE DARIEN SCHEME. — CHAGRES EEVER. THE BERI-BERI. 
 
 TLIE PARIS SWINDLE. BRIBERY. DEATH. ANOTLIER 
 
 ACT OF THE TRAGEDY. SCAVENGERS. A FOOT OF RAIN A 
 
 DAY. ROOSEVELT'S AVAY. THE TREATY. THE BULLY- 
 ING AND PLUNDER OF COLOMBIA. 
 
 " What is the best time of year to go to Panama ? " I 
 asked a A\^rlcl-girdler who had visited all climes and 
 scenes. 
 
 " Ah ! Panama ! " he exclaimed, " yes, surely ! The 
 very best time is the thirteenth month of the year and 
 the fifty-third week." 
 
 "As 'bad as that?" I asked; "no time at all?" 
 
 " Unless you wear your shroud under your double- 
 milled pilot cloth," he added, "and have made your will. 
 The Panama summer is winter. It is the Devil's para- 
 dise." 
 
 I knew that my friend was fond of hyperbole and was 
 not fond of the tropics, and I guessed that Satan's estate 
 was not quite so black as it was painted. At any rate, 
 one who goes to Panama goes because it is necessary, or, 
 at any rate, desirable, and a greater plenitude of yellow 
 fever and a few more alligators, mosquitoes, tarantulas 
 and scorpions are not to be considered. 
 
 The Isthmus of Panama writhes like a centiped:' or 
 some poisonous cateri^illar between the Atlantic and Pa- 
 cific oceans, or, what is the same thing, between the Carib- 
 
268 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 bean Sea on the northeast and the Gulf of Panama on the 
 southwest. It is fringed with hundreds of pretty islands, 
 verdant and picturesque and spicy, and is mounted and 
 boldly ridden by that superb mountain chain which the 
 world calls the Andes and which Spaniards designate as 
 the Cordilleras. Nowhere else does Nature present svieh a 
 continuous and compact elevation. From Alaska to Pata- 
 gonia it threads its devious way, with a mean height of 
 two miles, flanked by bottomless morasses and capped by 
 the most terrible volcanoes on the planet. 
 
 There is no danger whatever that North America and 
 South America will ever drift apart, for these Siamese 
 twins of the earth are bound together by a granite ligament. 
 It was only eight years after Columbus landed on Wat- 
 ling's Island that Eodrigo Bastidas reconnoitered this 
 coast, walked into the ocean up to his girdle, took posses- 
 sion in the name of God and the King, and founded here a 
 Spanish colony and the first European city in America ; 
 and twelve years later the ambitious Balboa got a simul- 
 taneous sight of both oceans from these hilltops as 
 
 " — ^With eagle eyes 
 He stared at the Pacific, and his men 
 
 Looked at each other with a wild surprise 
 Silent upon a peak in Darien." 
 
 This was Spain's earliest possession on the western con- 
 tinent, the nucleus of that Spanish Main which was the 
 haunt and home of buccaneers, distinguished from the 
 West India Islands on one hand and from j\Iexico and 
 Peru on the other. In those old times it was tlie refuge 
 of the ^Jirates of the western hemisphere Avho made it the 
 lair from which they sprang out and seized the silver- 
 laden Si^anish galleons. The most formi(lal)le of tliese 
 freebooters was Henry Morgan, wlio, liy boUluess and 
 recklessness rose from a common sailor t,i a self-styled 
 admiral, and with the booty of a hundred ships made 
 himself king of the Central Seas. In IGTl, he sacked 
 
PANAMA. 269 
 
 Panama. He acquired a great fortune and at one time 
 .had more than fifty vessels in his fleet. He cruised und':'r 
 the British flag, and was such a successful robber that he 
 boldl}'' returned to England with enough plunder to ob- 
 tain immunity for himself and was knighted by the king, 
 and thenceforth saluted as Sir Henry Morgan and made 
 the hero of song and legend. 
 
 The isthmus of Panama has never been a delightful 
 possession. After it ceased to be the home of marauders 
 and the highway robbers of the ocean no longer made it 
 their rendezvous, it was still a repellent land, a land of 
 bloody traditions and with a mysterioiis and loathsome 
 history. It has been the scene of several very afflicting 
 tragedies. More than two hundred years ago culminated 
 here one of the most disastrous speculations in the records 
 of the human race. One Paterson and other adventur- 
 ers printed pamphlets filled with stories of imaginary 
 wealth of^ gold, silver, and precious stones enough to 
 freight great ships, and as a result of these exciting nar- 
 ratives the Darien Company was organized, by solemn act 
 of the Scottish parliament. It had for its proclaimed 
 object the building of a splendid commercial emporium 
 and metropolis at Panama, to become the entrepot and 
 depot of the world's commerce. An absolute monopoly 
 of the trade of Asia, Africa, and America was granted to 
 the company for thirty-one years. 
 
 The fascinating schen^e caused the wildest excitement. 
 All Scotland was seized with a frenzied determination to 
 get rich immediately by the purchase of Panama shares. 
 The conservative and canny Scotch went crazy. Two 
 million dollars were subscribed in a week. Other millions 
 followed. The poor flung their scanty earnings into the 
 maw of the wonderful enterprise without hesitation. It 
 was not a swindle : it was a popular torrent of excitement 
 which bore away all alike. The project had just enough 
 vagueness and glittering romance about it to be magnifi- 
 cent. The contagious insanity was moro like the reli2;^ous 
 
270 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 rhapsody of the followers of Mahomet, the " Mad Mullah," 
 the dancing dervishes or the Messiahs who every year 
 break forth with prophecy even in enlightened nations, 
 than like the excitement of any of the worshijjers of 
 Mammon. Paterson was filled with self-confidence and 
 puffed up with pride on account of the lordly position in 
 which he found himself. He walked as if he were Atlas 
 carrying the earth upon his shoulders. Noblemen sought 
 his acquaintance and it was considered an honor to be 
 noticed by him in his daily walks. Paterson's receptions 
 were as famous as those of the Prince of Wales. Only the 
 captain of the enthusiasts knew, even the day before they 
 started, to what part of the earth they were bound. 
 
 Five ships with twelve hundred colonists aboard sailed 
 from Leith for Panama on the 26th of July, 1698. In 
 a delirium of excitement the whole city of Edinburgh 
 poured down upon its seaport to wave good-bye to the 
 fortunate voyagers, who spread their sails and turned from 
 the wharf amidst the tears and prayers and shouted praises 
 of relations and fri?nds. Caught up in the tumult of en- 
 thusiasm, many seamen and soldiers whose services had 
 been refused because hundreds more had offered than were 
 needed, hid themselves in the ships, and when dragged 
 ashore desperately clung to the ropes and spars begging 
 that they might go and serve without reward. 
 
 When the colonists sailed out of the estuary of the Forth, 
 commended by many prayers, they were flushed with hope 
 and expectant of a rapid voyage to the land of promi:e. 
 They carried four thousand magnificent periwigs, then 
 worn liy men of fashion, bales ol' Scotch woolen goods, 
 which nobody in the tropics could wear, and hundreds of 
 Englisli Bil)les which neither Spaniard nor Indian could 
 read. Alas, they were four months reaching their des- 
 tination. There one of the greatest of the Indian princes 
 came on board. He was attended by a, dozen courtiers, 
 stark naked ; but he himself was clad in a red coat, a pair 
 of cotton draAvers, and an old stove-pipe hat. His name 
 
PANAMA. 271 
 
 was Spanish, he spoke Spanish, and affected great gravity 
 of deportment. The Scotch propitiated him, saluted him 
 with royal lienors, and presented him with a startling and 
 splendid hat blazing with geld lace siicli as he had never 
 seen. 
 
 They then went ashore, repudiated the euphonious In- 
 dian name, Panama, and renamed the country New Cale- 
 donia, and the two cities wliich they founded they called 
 New Edinburgh and New St. Andrews. They bought land 
 from Indians in exchange for a few trifles and fixed a fort 
 at Acta. Thither they were followed by four more ships 
 with thirteen hundred men on board. While this second 
 expedition was sailing amid the acclamations and blessings 
 of Scotland and indulging a blissful dream of glory and 
 prosperity, the first colony was coming to a miserable 
 end. Their enthusiasm did not survive the first terrible 
 summer. Hundreds died ; other hundreds were prostrated 
 by the dreadful Chagres fever and never recovered; still 
 other hundreds fled from the pestilence-ridden quagmire 
 and were lost among the Indian tribes of the north. A 
 few wretched men, the surviving remnant of the colony 
 which was to have been the magnificent emporium of the 
 commercial world, took ship again and found their devious 
 way to the English at the mouth of the Hudson. The 
 mart of Christendom had disappeared from the face of the 
 earth. 
 
 The fate of the second colony was still worse. Disease 
 made terrible havoc with the little community even before 
 it landed at the deserted rendezvous. Mortality rose to 
 ten or twelve a day. Both the clergymen died. Paterson 
 buried his wife and then was stricken himself. Those who 
 could crept on board the three ships that had brought them 
 and started back. " The voyage was horrible. Scarcely 
 any Guinea slave-ship ever had such a middle passage. Of 
 two hundred and fifty persons on board the St. Andrew, 
 one hundred and fifty fed the sharks of the Atlantic before 
 ' Sandv Hook was in sight. The Unicorn lost almost all 
 
273 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 its officers and about a hundred and forty men. The Cale- 
 donia, the healthiest ship of the three, threw overboard a 
 hundred corpses. . . . The colonists left behind them no 
 mark that baptized men had set foot on Darien, except a 
 few Anglo-Saxon curses, which, having been uttered more 
 frequently and with greater energy than any other words 
 in our language, had caught the ear and been retained in 
 the memory of the native population of the Isthmus." 
 Only thirty out of several thousand colonists ever got back 
 to Scotland, and they transmitted to their descendants such 
 grewsome tales of suffering that " the Darien scheme " 
 forms one of the most terrible chapters in the history of 
 the Scotch people. 
 
 History repeats itself on the isthmus of Panama as else- 
 where, and other tragedies, as lamentable as the " Darien 
 scheme '' and as terrible and far-reaching in their conse- 
 quences, have filled the oozing and pestilential quagmires 
 of that narrow strip of land with the graves of countless 
 thousands of adventurers, exploiters, and deluded laboring 
 men. The ghastly and world-notorious Monkey Hill ceme- 
 tery, just outside of Panama, could chatter its fiendish 
 tales of fraud, lying, robbery, deadly miasma, prolonged 
 suffering, the terrible beri-beri disease, which thins the 
 blood and swells the limbs, — tales of sin, debauchery, death, 
 — if dry bones could be reclothed with fie.di whicli dared 
 to speak the truth. 
 
 It is a far cry from Scotland in 169S to France in 18S4, 
 "when, in a tumult of excitement exactly parallel to that 
 of Scotland, tlie French people, from the richest Itourgeois 
 to the poorest peasant, had flung two liundred million 
 dollars into the coffers of the Panama Canal Company, and 
 thirty thousand sturdy men were toiling, panting, drink- 
 ing, and suffering in the steaming heat and pe.-tilcntial 
 miasma of tlie trenches. There is nothing more pathetic 
 in history than the eager cheerfulness with which the very 
 poorest laborers of France, the factory hands, the farm 
 workers, the servant-girls, the hack-drivers, the washer- 
 
PANAMA. 273 
 
 women, placed the small remnant of their hard-earned 
 francs in the hands of '• entrepreneurs " — greedy and 
 heartless speculators. " The poor man hath no other 
 medicine, but onl}- hope ; " and the poor people of France 
 hoped on from year to year and brought forth, from their 
 stockings their scanty savings. The company became bank- 
 rupt in 1888, and hundreds of the poorest investors com- 
 mitted suicide when there was revealed one of the most 
 scandalous orgies ever known to the world. It speedily be- 
 came known, to the general astonishment and disgust, that 
 the high officers of the republic had been bribed with mil- 
 lions of dollars in gold to cover up the rascally manage- 
 ment of the concern. The sum of $100,000,000 was spent 
 in bribing French newspapers and judges in a single year! 
 The managers of the company, first and last, handled over 
 $285,000,000, subscribed by the French people for canal 
 digging. Jt is estimated that about $170,000,000 was 
 spent in bribing members of the French Parliament, cabi- 
 net ministers and French newspapers, while about $115,- 
 000,000 was spent on canal construction. Much of the 
 $115,000,000 was absorbed by certain contractors, who 
 practically looted as they dug. 
 
 The great reputation of De Lesseps was submerged in 
 disgrace. On the Isthmus was a revelry of del^auchery. 
 The very shores of the bay were paved with empty cham- 
 pagne bottles. All that was left to show for the tremen- 
 dous expenditure now (with interest) aggregating more 
 than $400,000,000, was a mud-filled ditch ^with its banks 
 strown Avith millions of dollars' worth of rusting, rotting, 
 broken scrap-heap machinery paid for by money filched 
 through fraud and falsehood from the French peasantry. 
 
 The route as projected by De Lesseps extended forty-five 
 miles from sea to sea, cut straight through the Culebra 
 mountain. The canal was to be 164 feet wide, at the water- 
 line, and 72 feet wide at the bottom, with a uniform depth 
 of 28 feet below mean low tide. The " deep cut " was to 
 be fifteen and one half miles long and its greatest depth at 
 
274 
 
 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 the divide was to be 323 feet. When $200,000,000 had 
 been spent it was found that not one fifteenth of the work 
 had been done. 
 
 Those were halcyon days on the Isthmus ! Such living 
 as there was during the first excavations of the old French 
 canal, — and such dying ! Both were cumulative from 
 month to month and year to year. Money was scattered 
 in reckless profusion. Every other door was a gambling 
 house. The promoters flung French gold among the 
 thieves in Panama like worthless chaff. A million dol- 
 lars was disbursed every fifteen days. Houses rented for 
 ten times their value. Lame horses brought a thousand 
 dollars. Even Madame Sarah Bernhardt, sniffing the 
 lucre from afar, gave five performances in Panama during 
 the saturnalia. A season ticket cost $250, and a pink to 
 wear in the buttonhole cost a dollar. This was the day of 
 " high-rollers ; " of crazy promises and wild expectations ; 
 of fraud and filth; of death and disaster, until the very 
 name " Panama," an Indian word meaning abounding in 
 fish, stank in the nostrils of mankind. 
 
 They tell a story of 800 Chinese, who were brought from 
 Hongkong to work on the Panama Eailroad, almost every 
 one of whom fell a victim either to the rigors of the country 
 or the cupidity of the contractors. 
 
 The usual roseate pictures had been painted by the 
 agents, who secured their emplo^mient in their native 
 China, in order to induce them to make the triii. They 
 were promised wages that to Hongkong coolies seemed 
 boundless wealth and comforts they had never known. 
 Whatever vagaries the climate possessed were kept, as to 
 them, in the mysterious background; of these nothing was 
 said. 
 
 Tliey endured the discomforts of the voyage chocrfully. 
 or at least stoically. Some ten or a dozen died eii route 
 and were thrown to \\\o fishes, but their comrades ])roliably 
 regarded this as a tiling ordained, and made- no murmur. 
 Panama was reached, the party was disembarked and work 
 
PANAMA. 275 
 
 on the railway construction was begun. Then the Chinese 
 began to die, as well of the pangs of homesickness and the 
 deprivation of their remedy for it — opium — as of the 
 fevers of the countr}^ They died in droves and the con- 
 tractors, in a panic, began to deal out opium. There was a 
 recurrence of cheer and a decrease in the death rate, but 
 this was suffered to last only for a time. It occurred to the 
 contractors it was wicked and unholy to pander to a de- 
 praved taste for the seductive drug and to permit their 
 fellow-mortals to ruin themselves by its use. 
 
 It may also have occurred to them that the practice was 
 expensive, for each of the Chinamen was accustomed to 
 consume each day opium of the value of 15 cents. Mul- 
 tiplied by many hundred Chinamen and many days' work 
 this represented a large sum. At any rate the issue of 
 opium was stopped. The coolies were caught and held in 
 the meshes of despair. The fever carried many of them 
 away and those who managed to resist its death-dealing 
 power sought death in other ways. Some impaled them- 
 selves on the tools with which they did their daily loil; 
 others tied heavy stones to their garments and flung them- 
 selves into the waters of the streams; others sat calmly by 
 the sea-shore until the tide came in and blotted them out 
 forever; still others bargained for death with their fellows, 
 yielding their every joossession to him who would admin- 
 ister the thrust that would end their miseries. By fever or 
 their own hand or that of one of their fellows practically 
 all of them died. It was one of the tragedies of the 
 isthmus. 
 
 Nobody knows just how many Irish, Italians. Frencn- 
 men, mestizoes and coolies died in digging the ditch which 
 was called the canal, or just how many carloads of " nig- 
 gers " were dumped on the flanks of Monkey Hill to have 
 some leaves raked over them. And the end is not yet. 
 This time the great republic, in the name of "collective 
 civilization," has deliberately resolved to plunge into this 
 morass of misfortune and quagmire of crime cost what it 
 
276 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 may in gold and human life. Scotland, 1698; France, 
 1884; the United States, 1904; and after us the deluge. 
 
 For President Koosevelt has raised the curtain on another 
 act of the tragedy — another act and ditferent actors, but 
 the same stage, the same tlorid scenery, and, it is to be 
 feared, the same dismal denoument. So let us see what 
 sort of place it is to which we are invited. 
 
 Dodging the northers of the Gulf and steaming across 
 the Caribbean Sea, the traveler sees lifted into view the far- 
 off greenery of the Isthmus. At this point the Cordilleras 
 are depressed, only a few of their spurs rising into the 
 thousands of feet and the Culebra saddle being less than 
 400 feet above high water. The port of Colon, named for 
 Columbus, was rechristened in the middle of the last cen- 
 tury and given the name borne by the chief promoter of 
 the Panama Railroad, Aspinwall, with about as much senc^e 
 of propriety as would be shown by an Irishman who should 
 insist upon renaming New York Dublin. 
 
 Fifty years ago the place contained less than a hundred 
 houses and it has changed very little since. Upon the 
 beach at the north were a few cottages gay with white paint 
 and green blinds, brought bodily from Maine and set up 
 here for the convenience of the officers of the railroad. 
 Near these the tourist finds the depot, telegraph office, ma- 
 chine shops, and other })ortions of the railway plant. The 
 shore at the north curves easterly and is edged Avith a nar- 
 row brim of white beach which borders an impenetrable 
 jungle. In the outskirts of the town can be seen mean huts 
 with thatched roofs and dirt floors, where half naked ne- 
 groes and ];ot-l)ellied children sun themselves or seek the 
 shade of banana trees the fruit of which keeps them from 
 starvation. Colon sprawls in the mire of the marsh with a 
 reckless abandon. In going about the place the tourist is 
 compelled to make his way over pools corru]it with decay- 
 ing vegetation, lilack and rotten roots of trees, and all kinds 
 of juitrefying oft'al, which resist even the activities of the 
 famous l)lack scavengers, the turkev-buzzards, which gather 
 
PANAMA. 277 
 
 in flocks wherever garbage is thrown. The better class of 
 houses are wooden structures^ one or two stories high, 
 without ceHars, standing on posts to elevate tlie first floor 
 from the reeking ground. Under the houses stand stag- 
 nant pools of black water, iridescent with all manner of 
 noxious substances. The front doors are reached by a 
 flight of wooden steps and most houses have piazzas for 
 protection from the hot sun. The mercury here rises to 
 90° and never descends below 72°. During six months 
 it rains every day. 
 
 The Isthmus of Panama is a hotljed for the development 
 of disease. Most terrible of these diseases is leprosy. It 
 exists alike in the city of Panama, throughout the zone ten 
 miles wide that is now placed under the United States 
 government, in the city of Colon, and in the rural districts. 
 In the outskirts of Panama is a collection of filthy shacks 
 known as the lazaretto, but lepers need not go there unless 
 they wish."^ Beri-beri is also epidemic throughout the canal 
 route. Tuberculosis, trojjical dysentery, pernicious mala- 
 ria, elephantiasis, small-2Dox and yellow fever menace the 
 stranger on every hand. When the old Panama Canal 
 was in process of construction under the guidance of De 
 Lesseps, one of the principal topics of discussion among the 
 leading officials was the relative disadvantage of bilious 
 fever, remittent fever, Chagres fever, 3^ellow fever, and 
 fever and ague. In five months the mortality among the 
 engineers and other chiefs of construction was 83 per 
 cent. The sewerage system of Panama is antiquated and 
 defective, and the city is filthy in the extreme. In the dry 
 season, when for months there is no water for flushing, the 
 drains are filled with decaying masses of matter that form 
 the source of virulent disease. A terribly defective water 
 supply adds to the deplorable condition. In the dry season 
 water sells for one cent American per gallon, or fifty cents 
 of the local currency, and poor peojole are extremely econ- 
 omical. Buzzards roost everywhere. La Boca, about two 
 miles from Panama, and the site of the mouth of the pro- 
 
278 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 posed canal, has no sanitary regulations whatever. Malig- 
 nant diseases are always present. 
 
 Under American auspices the sanitation of Colon and 
 Panama at either end of the canal zone will be begun at 
 once. The first step will probably be to fill in the island 
 of Manzanillo on which lies the city of Colon, six iVet 
 below the sea at tide-water. 
 
 Some experts express the wish that Morgan and his buc- 
 caneers could return to earth and wipe out the present town 
 of Panama as they obliterated the old one ; or that it could 
 be burned down or destroyed by an earthquake. After 
 what may be called the surface sanitation of Panama and 
 Colon is secured, steps may be taken for sewerage and 
 waterworks. There is pure water in the mountains, but it 
 may have to be brought fifty or sixty miles in aqueducts. 
 The new Panama will cluster at La Boca, where the canal 
 debouches into the Pacific, and where the railroad runs and 
 the great wharf has been built. The city of Panama now 
 has a population of about 25,000, and a social element of 
 about forty families. The city includes a cathedral, a col- 
 lege and several convents, all of which are falling into de- 
 cay. It is built upon a coral and basaltic rock, and occu- 
 pies a tongue of land which extends some distance out to 
 sea in shallow water. Large vessels anchor three miles oiT 
 near the island of Perico. The former city of Panama, 
 established in 1518 as the seat of the Spanish government, 
 stood six miles northeast of the pori of Panama. It is 
 now a heap of ruins. There are numerous beautiful is- 
 lands along the Pacific shore. In the distance back of the 
 city stands Mt. Ancon, 560 feet high. In the rainy sea- 
 son streams of water flow down the streets of Panama, and 
 l)cfore the water works were constructed, that element in 
 the dry season used to be brought in carts from a distance 
 of several miles. Eents are high and living is very ex- 
 ])ensive. 
 
 The late United States ]\linister. Mr. Scruggs, said: 
 " Colon is environed by stagnant ponds and lagoons and 
 
PANAMA. 279 
 
 the land breeze is always laden with deadly malaria. One 
 seldom hears a hearty laugh or sees a cheerful face. The 
 mosquito is the only species of animated nature that enjoys 
 life.^' It is no place for a white man to live : just an as- 
 semblage of mean hovels and buildings for the railroad 
 without drinkable water or eatable food. There is a popu- 
 lation of about 3,000 souls embodied in all sorts of human 
 flesh, red, black, yellow, and a sickly white. The town 
 must either be wiped ofE the map or resolutely cleaned up. 
 For four centuries the whole isthmian region has been des- 
 titute of drainage, though closely embraced by two oceans. 
 Colon is virtually owned by the Panama Railroad Com- 
 pany; at least the corporation holds a lease for ninety-nine 
 years of the island on which it is built. The beneficent 
 results of monopoly follow r.s a matter of course. jSToth- 
 ing has been done in half a century to make the place 
 healthy, prosperous, or attractive; nothing for the general 
 good — all for the railroad and its stockholders. The is- 
 land on which Colon stands is laid out into 4,000 lots, 
 many of which, sold to credulous Americans, are perma- 
 nently under water. When the French were pretending 
 to build a canal the population rose in a year to 15.000. 
 Of the present inhabitants perhaps a hundred are x\mer- 
 icans; a few are English, French and Germans, and the 
 rest are negroes, mulattoes, Chinese, and natives, dirty 
 and miserable. 
 
 The fiscal system of Panama is as rotten as its politics 
 or its malarial atmosphere. In the summer of 1903 the 
 rate of exchange was one to one hundred, and if a tourist 
 goes to the bank to get a five-dollar gold piece changed, 
 he needs a servant with a hand-bag to carn^ home the paper 
 money. Prices correspond: laundry for a week, $680; 
 hotel room for one night. $250; pressing trousers, $45; 
 one pineapple, $1. The inhabitants of Colon are good 
 customers for lottery agents, cigarette venders, and un- 
 dertakers. There are very few stores or commodities of 
 any kind on sale, for there is no shopping class : no market 
 
280 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 for shoes, for bare feet are the fashion. If one have the 
 toothache he is obliged to hustle off across the Isthmus to 
 Panama on the Pacific where a solitary American dentist 
 charges Panama prices. Most of the hens are too weak 
 and sickly to lay eggs, though they could get ten cents for 
 every one. Sluggish cows chew their occasional cuds as if 
 they were tired, and milk is fifty cents a quart. There are 
 no good hotel accommodations; no news stands; no book- 
 stores; no tailors; — nothing excejit dirt, disease, and death. 
 Every undertaker is a wealthy aristocrat. 
 
 A residence of three years is said to render an American 
 immune from yellow fever, but it is l)y no means sufficient. 
 Three sisters of the President of the Panama Eailroad who 
 had lived here several years, were seized with the terrible 
 Chagres fever in May, 1903, and in two weeks all of them 
 were dead. You meet a dog — it will probably have the 
 mange ; you see a duck — its feathers are disheveled and its 
 feet sore; you encounter a hen with two starving chicks — 
 they pant with open mouths and run under the first thing 
 that offers shade; the frowsy mule that staggers at the task 
 of ]nilling a rickety cab is weak and dwindling; and all the 
 while a j)rocession of the dead files to the burying-ground 
 on jMonkey Hill. Even the native wears away under this 
 dreadful climate, and the newcomer, man or beast, falls 
 easy ])rey. Some Jersey cows wdiich I Avas told were 
 l)rought from the States, waded around in the mire a few 
 days, then retreated disconsolately to the damp l)arn 
 where they lowed and pined until they died. Plymouth 
 Eock chickens moped around and shortly perished. Some 
 tbnroug]ilir(Hl dogs were clieerful and even lively for the 
 first week during which they amused themselves by chas- 
 ing the red lizards and friglitening the buzzards, but the 
 blight soon touched them and they died. 
 
 Leaving Colon for the city of Panama across the Isth- 
 mus. Ihe tourist soon ascertains that the only region ac- 
 cessible to him is that which lies along the railroad. And 
 even here he comes in contact with the most depressing 
 
PANAMA. 281 
 
 type of the stagnation for which Latin-America is noto- 
 rious. The people are a curious mixture of red and check- 
 ered, happy in tlieir poverty and wretchedness. They 
 seem to have few physical wants and no mental anxie- 
 ties. They live on plantain and bananas, which make 
 a .cheap substitute for bread. They catch a few fish in the 
 lagoons, and they pick the bones of a few blue-legged 
 chickens. Occasionally the traveler sees a razor-back shoat 
 nosing his way around the hovels and seeking for some 
 bit that will keep him from famishing. 
 
 The natural resources of the Isthmus are as undeveloped 
 as when Balboa cried " Thalassa ! " from its backbone. 
 The soil is a black mould several feet deep, producing 
 spontaneously almost all tropical fruits, flowers, plants, 
 roots, and herbs. Mahogany abounds, and along the coast 
 the Indians chase the sluggish turtle and rob him of his 
 shell. Other things are exported — India-rubber, hides, 
 ivory nuts, manganese, tobacco, various rich woods, vanilla, 
 sarsaparilla, — but the entire annual commerce is trivial. 
 Away from the seaport towns the country is an untamed 
 wilderness, where roam monkeys, baboons, jaguars, and a 
 multitude of wild beasts. There are no roads, only mule 
 tracks or Indian paths cut through the jungle. Every 
 tourist must be his own policeman. After leaving the line 
 of the road the country is wonderfully picturesque and in- 
 teresting. The primeval tropical forests at the base of the 
 mountains are most impressive, producing great varieties 
 of flowers unknown to the botanist, and parrots, cockatoos, 
 and many birds that vie with the flowers in brilliancy. In 
 the expansive greenery of the jungle is a dense growth of 
 strange ferns and of tender plants which could not endure 
 the sun, and many-colored butterflies sail round about un- 
 der the gray network of the swinging moss. 
 
 The average rainfall on the Isthmus, located as it is be- 
 tween two great ocean?, with a high mountain ridge run- 
 ning its entire length, causing the moisture to precipitate, 
 is something tremendous, and adds enormouslv to the dis- 
 
282 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 comforts and to the difficulties of the problem of living. 
 On the Atlantic coast the average rainfall is I-IO inches a 
 year; in the interior, 93 inches; on the Pacific coast 60 
 inches; in the Atra River country, the rainfall reaches the 
 tremendous depth of 400 inches in the year — 33 feet ! In 
 the problem of building the proposed interoceanic canal 
 the unparalleled rainfall will greatly increase the difficulty 
 of controlling the Chagres Eiver, which crosses the line of 
 the canal. It is 145 miles long, and above Bohio, where it 
 is proposed to make an artificial lake, it drains 875 square 
 miles and flows through mountains where there is an av- 
 erage annual rainfall of 130 inches. There has sometimes 
 been a rainfall here of a foot in a single day. The conse- 
 quence of such a flood is that the discharge of the Chagres 
 Eiver at Bohio may vary from a minimum of 350 cubic 
 feet per second to 36.000 cubic feet per second. The river 
 is thus torrential in its character, and when the flood comes 
 dashing and roaring down, wave upon wave, it drags down 
 with it immense boulders, forest trees, and an incredible 
 mass of heavy debris. If a lake were formed to receive this 
 mass of water and floating material, the dumping process 
 for which the Chagres is so famous would continue for six 
 months of each year. It takes no very vivid imagination 
 to conceive what the result would be. 
 
 At the time of this writing the President of the United 
 States is jierfecting plans to begin the construction of a 
 lock canal l)y the Panama route, having recognized Panama 
 as an independent nation, and having negotiated with her 
 a treaty to that end. The recognition of the independent 
 nationality of PananuT took place during the autumn o( 
 1903 and the ratification of the treaty Avas etl'ected during 
 the succeeding winter. Whether the independence ot Va- 
 nama was effected by honorable or by fraudulent means, 
 whether the republic of Colombia had a free hand in coerc- 
 ing ber rebellious State, and whether the President of the 
 United States engaged in a deliberate conspiracy for the 
 
PANAMA. 283 
 
 purpose of consummating the robbery, — these are ques- 
 tions which it may be well briefly to consider. 
 
 The treaty of 1840 between the United States and New 
 Grenada bound the latter to keep open the right of way or 
 transit across the Isthmus for the benefit of the former; 
 and in consideration of this guaranty " the United States 
 also guaranteed in the same manner the rights of sov- 
 ereignty and property New Grenada has and possesses over 
 the said territory.'' This treaty, in the words of Secre- 
 tary Hay, " is not dependent for its efficacy on the person- 
 nel of the signers or the name of the territory it aifects," 
 but " is a covenant, as the lawyers say, that runs with the 
 land." That is, the treaty binds both the United States 
 and the Republic of Colombia which has succeeded to the 
 rights and obligations of New Grenada. This means that 
 Colombia warrants to the United States that travel across 
 the Isthmus shall not be interrupted, and the United States 
 warrants to Colombia her rights of sovereignty and prop- 
 erty over the Isthmus. In this treaty also " the United 
 States guarantee jDOsitively and efficaciously to New Gre- 
 nada (Colombia) by the present stipulation the perfect 
 neutrality of the before-mentioned Isthmus." 
 
 In further definition of this treaty, if it needed further 
 definition, Secretary Seward wrote to our minister at Bo- 
 gota, under date of April 30, 186G : " The United States 
 desire nothing else, nothing better and nothing more in re- 
 gard to the State of Colombia than the enjoyment on their 
 part of complete and absolute sovereignty and indepen- 
 dence. If those great interests shall ever be assailed by 
 any power at home or abroad, the United States will be 
 ready, cooperating with the government as their ally, to 
 maintain and defend them." 
 
 When an emeute occurred on the Isthmus we landed 
 there a few soldiers to help Colomlua enforce her laws. 
 On October 27, 1873. Secretary Fish said that the landing 
 of a force under Admiral Almy, to protect the transit, 
 "was at the instance of the local authorities." And Secre- 
 
284 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 tary Bayard later repeated the same opinion, saying that 
 the landing of armed forces " is at the instance and always 
 mth the as?ent of Colombia." President Cleveland in his 
 message of December, 1885, spoke of the delicate task of 
 keeping the transit open as " always in aid of the sover- 
 eignty of Colombia." 
 
 Indeed President Eoosevelt himself only a year before 
 the conspiracy by which Panama was wrenched from the 
 parent republic, said in his message to Congress : " JSf o 
 independent nation in America need have the slightest 
 fear of aggression from the United States. It behooves 
 each one to maintain order within its own borders and to 
 discharge just obligations to foreigners. When this is 
 done, be they strong or weak, they have nothing to dread 
 from outside interference."' 
 
 The way in wbich this distinguished writer stultified 
 himself within a year recalls the manner in wliicli his illus- 
 trious predecessor declared that " forcible annexation by 
 our code of morals would be criminal aggres-ion,'" and 
 then proceeded forcibly to annex. 
 
 If President Eoosevelt's promises mean any tiling, and 
 if official precedents possess any value, and if consistency 
 is a jewel, then his subsequent action has shown to the 
 worhl and " tbo independent nations of America " that 
 neither promise nor precedent nor consistency is to be con- 
 sidered Avben a robbery is to be perpetrated. What are the 
 specific facts? 
 
 Por forty years tbe route througb Xicaragua bad been 
 preferred in all discussions of an isthmian canal. De Les- 
 seps himself preferred the JSTicaragua route and sought in 
 vain to obtain a concession there. Tbe ablest and most ef- 
 fective champions of an isthmian canal have from tbe first 
 been in favor of the Nicaragua route, while the Panama 
 route lias l)e('n championed by many men who were not 
 sus])ected of any great zeal for a canal anywhere — tliat is, 
 by tbe trans-continental railroad interests. Different com- 
 missions, composed of the greatest engineers in the world. 
 
PANAMA. 285 
 
 have reported again and again in favor of the Nicaragua 
 route. At a meeting of tlie greatest engineers of all na- 
 tions held in London, all except those of France were de- 
 cidedly in favor of Nicaragua. On Feb. 7, 1876, the in- 
 teroceanic commission, after considering and carefully ex- 
 amining all plans submitted to it, reported to President 
 Grant in favor of the Nicaragua route, extending from 
 the harbor of Graytown on the Caribbean Sea, to Port 
 Brito on the Pacific. They unanimously declared that the 
 route as located by the United States surveying expedition 
 of 1873-73 '' possesses both for the construction and the 
 maintenance of a canal greater advantages and offers fewer 
 difiiculties from engineering, commercial and economic 
 points of view, than any of the other routes." Our last 
 commission recommended that route, and changed its 
 recommendation only after the canal company had re- 
 duced the price of its property to one quarter of the sum 
 demanded. 
 
 For a generation the French had been engage! in an at- 
 tempt to construct a canal across the Isthmus of Panama. 
 Th.ey had met with such insuperable obstacles that they 
 had given it up as practically impossible. They had spent 
 more than $400,000,000 and now offered to sell out all 
 their rights and property for one-tenth of the sum ex- 
 pended. The United States acce^Dted the proposition, and 
 then made overtures to Jolomlna for a treaty covering the 
 concession. This overture was made by Congress, which 
 authorized the President to negotiate with the republic of 
 Colombia for a right of way across the Isthmus. If such 
 a treaty could not be negotiated with Colombia after the 
 lajjse of a reasonable time, it was made his duty under the 
 law to go to the Nicaragua route. The government of Co- 
 lombia received an annual income of $600,000 from the 
 Panama Eailroad Company, and if the canal were built 
 on the line of the railroad, this source of revenue would 
 probably terminate. For these reasons the Hay-Herran 
 treaty was arranged in Washington to clear away the ditfi- 
 
286 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 culties and was offered for acceptance or rejection. After 
 a long and amicable discussion it was rejected by the Co- 
 lombian senate on the grounds that, first, the lease was not 
 l^erpetual, but renewable at long intervals; secondly, the 
 canal zone leased was too narrow; thirdly, the treaty was 
 illegal; fourthly, a conflict of jurisdiction within the canal 
 zone seemed inevitable by reason of the complexity of the 
 treaty; fifthly, the Colombian Congress had not the power 
 to alienate territory without first amending the Constitu- 
 tion. 
 
 The action of Colombia was strictly within her sover- 
 eign rights. The American Senate had repeatedly and 
 with very scant courtesy rejected prooosed treaties, as the 
 Hay-Pauncefote treaty, the Johnson-Clarendon treaty, and 
 others. 
 
 But now the case was different. It was our ox that was 
 gored. A weak and feeble nation had had the audacity to 
 decline to ratify a treaty with us. President Koosevelt 
 must have been in a frenzy of anger, for if ho had not been 
 entirely beside himself he would not have said in his an- 
 nual message to Congress in December, 1903 : " It seems 
 evident that in a matter such as this we should finally de- 
 cide which is the best route ; and, if the advantages of this 
 route over any other possible route are sufficiently marked, 
 we should then give notice that we can no longer submit 
 to trilling or insincere dealing on the part of those whom 
 the accident of position has placed in tempoi'ary control 
 of the ground through which the route must pass ; . . . . 
 and that, if they fail to come to such agreement with us, 
 we must forthwith take the matter into our own hands." 
 It is quite obvious that such imperious and impudent lan- 
 guage as this would not have been OHi])Ioy('(l if the otluT 
 ]iarlT to the treaty liad been Gcrnuiny or Great P>ritain. 
 If such language had been used to eilher ot llicui. tlie 
 reader can inuigine how swiftly and vigorously the insult 
 would have lieen resented. But President Poosevelt knew 
 that he was dealing with a nation that could not anchor a 
 
PANAMA. 287 
 
 fleet of battleships off New York, and demand an apology. 
 
 On June 9th Mr. Hay had cabled our minister at Bo- 
 gota in the following threatening language : " If Colombia 
 should now reject the treaty or unduly delay its ratifica- 
 tion, the friendly understanding between the two countries 
 would be so seriously compromised that action might be 
 taken by the Congress next winter which every friend of 
 Colombia would regret." Why should an independent re- 
 public be menaced with harm if it should refuse to ratify 
 a treaty? 
 
 The ratification was dela5^ed, and finally Colombia, de- 
 clining to act under coercion, rejected the treaty. What 
 happened next ? On October 21, the United States cruiser 
 Dixie was ordered to sea with four hundred marines in 
 addition, to her regular crew and was sent to Colon! 
 
 On November 2d the United States Navy Department 
 cabled to the commander of the Nashville as Colon : " Main- 
 tain free and uninterrupted transit. If interruption 
 threatened by armed force, occupy the line of railroad, pre- 
 vent landing of any armed force, with hostile intent, 
 either government or insurgent, at Colon, Porto Bello, or 
 other points.'" 
 
 The same orders were sent to the commanders of the 
 Boston and Dixie, while to Admiral Glass at Acapulco was 
 sent the following : " Proceed with all possible dispatch to 
 Panama. Telegraph in cipher your departure. Maintain 
 free and uninterrupted transit. If interruption is threat- 
 ened by armed force, occupy the line. Prevent landing 
 of any armed force, either government or insurgent, with 
 hostile intent, at any point within fifty miles of Panama. 
 G-overnment force reported approaching the Isthmus in 
 vessels. Prevent their landing, if in your judgment 
 landing would precipitate a confiict." 
 
 No insurrection or uprising had as 3'et occurred or been 
 reported. But on the next day, Nov. 3rd, at 3.40 P. M. 
 the United States Assistant Secretary of State, Mr. Loomis, 
 sent to our consul at Panama this singular dispatch : " Up- 
 
288 FOLKS NEXT DOOE. 
 
 rising on Isthmus reported. Keep department promptly 
 and fully informed.'' 
 
 At 8:15 the same evening the consul replied: "No 
 uprising yet ! Eeport it will be to-night. Situation is 
 critical." 
 
 An hour and a half later the so called " revolution " 
 occurred and the department was informed of the " sud- 
 den and startling event " for which the government had 
 made such complete preparations in advance, and which 
 Mr. Loomis said had been reported six hours earlier ! 
 
 Some Colombian troops arrived at Colon to put down 
 any insurrection they could find and compel obedience to 
 the laws of the republic if there should 1)e any disobe- 
 dience. There were only six or eight j^eople in the " re- 
 volt," and in their behalf the United States marines con- 
 fronted the Colombian troops and compelled them to em- 
 bark and return to Carthagena ! Dr. Manuel Amador, 
 afterwards elected president of " the republic of Panama " 
 said in an article in the Independent : " Of course we ex- 
 pected that the United States would not let the C(ilom- 
 bian troops attack us.'' And one Bunau-Varilla. a 
 French engineer connected with the old canal company, 
 after consulting the administration at Washington, tele- 
 graphed Panama that the United States ships would 
 shortly arrive and assist the insurgents ! 
 
 So what President Ivoosevelt did Avas to decide, against 
 the judgment of the most competent and accomplished 
 engineers, that the Panama was the best route; that it 
 possessed sufficiently marked advantages " over any other 
 possible route " ; that he had waited '" a reasonable time " 
 for Colombia to consider the matter; that he could no 
 longer submit to have her exercise her right to reject an 
 unsatisfactory treaty; and that he must forthwith "take 
 the matter into his OAvn hands." The manner in which 
 this was brought about and the new roiuil)lie of Panama 
 created in a day is a mailer of liistory. Three men, form- 
 ing what is called a junta, announced a revolution that 
 
PANAMA. 289 
 
 nobody else had heard of and proclaimed the indepen- 
 dence of Panama ; the United States had gunboats and 
 marines on hand at the exact moment; these forces were 
 landed; anouncement was made by President Eoosevelt 
 that Colombia would not be permitted to land her troops 
 anywhere within fifty miles of the Panama Railroad, al- 
 though it was to suppress a rebellion on her own territory. 
 The right of secession was thus conceded and acknowl- 
 edged ; the rebellious state of Panama was prom23tly recog- 
 nized as a new republic at Washington, although she had 
 no army or navy, no constitution, no legislature, no courts, 
 no laws or system of government, and although the na- 
 tion of which she formed a part had been prevented by 
 superior force from exercising its authority ! The famous 
 Panama treaty was at once negotiated. It was this instru- 
 ment which precipitated the long and heated debate in 
 the United States Senate during January and February 
 of 1904. 
 
 The statute enacted by Congress charged the President 
 with the duty of negotiating a treaty with Colombia for 
 a canal across Panama; and in the event of failure to do 
 so within a reasonable time, it directed him to turn to 
 Nicaragua and arrange for the construction of a canal 
 by that route. In refusing to turn from Colombia to 
 Nicaragua he violated the plain letter of the law. In 
 sending troops and ships to Panama to assist her in re- 
 bellion and secession, he technically and actually made 
 war upon the friendly republic of Colombia, and thus 
 deliberately violated the Constitution of the United States 
 which confines that function to Congress alone. 
 
 The obsolete Clayton-Bulwer treaty had been rendered 
 nugatory by the repeated violations of its terms by Great 
 Britain, but we had permitted it to stand across our way 
 for half a century and prevent our advance in the path- 
 way of commerce and civilization by the construction of 
 a canal. We calmly endured the insolence of Great Bri- 
 tain from generation to generation and only entered upon 
 
290 FOLKS NEXT DOOR. 
 
 an act of lawlessness and brutal aggression when we had 
 a poor and puny nation to deal with. 
 
 And, after all, the lawlessness and brutal aggression, 
 the violation of law and of justice, the intimidation and 
 chicaner}^, may not profit us in obtaining any valuable 
 thing. It will jjrobably be an entire generation before a 
 canal of any kind is dug across the isthmus and the utility 
 of the completed canal is very problematical indeed. In 
 any case, the bullying of a feeble sister republic is a deed of 
 President Eoosevelt's which his countrymen are not proud 
 of. 
 
 In the history of this country there is another diplo- 
 matic precedent which should not be forgotten and which 
 is almost as flagrant a violation of international comity 
 as this. Allusion is made to the famous Ostend Manifesto. 
 In 1854 Messrs. Buchanan. Mason and Soule, the ministers 
 of the United States at London, Paris, and Madrid re- 
 spectively, met at Ostend and issued a joint declaration 
 advising the purchase of Cuba by the United States for 
 $120,000,000 and proceeding to say : 
 
 " If Spain, dead to the voice of her own interest and 
 actuated by stul;)born pride and a false sense of honor, 
 should refuse to sell Cuba to the United States, then the 
 question will arise. What ought to be the course of the 
 United States under the circumstances ? " 
 
 They answered their own qiu^stion in the spirit of 
 piracy, by saying, — " After wo shall have offered Spain 
 a price for Cuba far beyond its present value, and this 
 shall have been refused. . . then, by every \nw. Iniman and 
 divine, we shall be justified in wresting it from Spain if 
 we have the power ! "' 
 
 This immnral and indecent declaration was justly con- 
 demned at the time by the Eepublican jiarty which in its 
 first national ])lntform in 1Sr)(; rcbnkiM] injustice in these 
 words : — 
 
 " The highwayman's plea that ' might makes right ' em- 
 l)odied in the Ostend circular was in every respect un- 
 
PANAMA. 291 
 
 worthy of American diplomacy., and would bring shame 
 and dishonor on any government or people that gave it 
 their sanction." 
 
 Mr. Justice Story had in mind Just such acts of bucca- 
 neering as this and the subjugation of the Philippines 
 when he said, " The crying evil of this time is the tendency 
 of men to make their desires the standard for other men's 
 duties, and to consider their own wills a substitute for 
 law. . . . Such a doctrine means anarchy. Justice is the 
 same for individuals and nations." That nation will ac- 
 quire small reputation for honor or courage which is punc- 
 tilious in dealing with a mighty power but hastens to repu- 
 diate its obligations in dealing with a neighbor that is feeble 
 and defenseless. The detailed record of our performance 
 in Panama has yet to be written, but I shall be greatly sur- 
 prised if it is not reprobated by the sober second thought 
 of our people and written down by the serious historian as 
 one of the blackest pages of our history. 
 
THE SECEET OF PERENOTAL YOUTH 
 
THE SECEET OF PEEENNIAL YOUTH. 295 
 
 THE SECEET OF PEEENFIAL YOUTH. 
 
 The human mind is as much quicker than lightning in 
 its operations as lightning is quicker than a tired dog. I 
 first learned this important leston in psychology during a 
 farmer's nooning at the old homestead in Connecticut. 
 It was towards the end of July. I had pitched on two 
 loads of hay that morning and now sat resting in a rocking- 
 chair in the breezy front hall, waiting for dinner. I re- 
 member seeing a few unaggressive flies buzz languidly in 
 and out the open door; I remember seeing the old family 
 conch-shell, pink and satin-lined, that lay on the straw 
 matting holding the outside door open, and droning of 
 southern seas in tune with the drone of the flies ; I remem- 
 ber the generous bush full of snowy roses that hung over 
 the picket fence under the gigantic elm in front; I remem- 
 ber the lilac-tree whose fruity looking purple cones the sum- 
 mer breeze swung into the open window at my very 
 elbow, and I distinctly remember hearing my mother say 
 " Don't go to sleep ; for the chicken-pie is nearly done." 
 
 Probably that hint is what put me to sleep; for that I 
 must have nodded off at least five minutes I have not now 
 the slightest doubt. For some years I had been employing 
 odd hours and minutes in learning something of the pre- 
 tensions of the disciples of the great Oriental mystic, 
 Hermes Trismegistus ; of Paracelsus, the audacious quack 
 who found the philosopher's stone ; of Jacob Behmen, the 
 inspired shoemaker of Germany ; of Albertus Magnus, the 
 sorcerer ; of Eoger Bacon, the astrologer and alchemist, who 
 mixed the " golden elixir " and the " powder of attrac- 
 tion " ; of Ponce de Leon, who hopefully explored the 
 
296 THE SECKET OF PERENNIAL YOUTH. 
 
 gardens of Bimini for the fountain of perpetual youth. 
 The works of these bold experimenters with Nature's sol- 
 vents had interested me deeply, as had a magazine article 
 that I had recently seen which described Lilienthal's ex- 
 periments with artificial birds and the mysterious aero- 
 plane. 
 
 Suddenly the duplex pictures took possession of my 
 mind. The golden elixir withdrew into past ages, but 
 Lilienthal whispered in my ear that he had found the secret 
 and would let me share it. On the back of a fantastic 
 machine with wings and creeping joints and far-sweeping 
 tail whose outlines I could not very definitely ascertain, 
 although I seemed a part of it, I was whisked away to 
 some remote region in the upper air bej^ond the clouds. 
 The earth became rapidly smaller and smaller as we as- 
 cended, until we observed the sun's iight reflected from it. 
 
 " Here we are," said my companion, whom I had not 
 till that moment noticed, " here we are in the suburbs of 
 Etheria." 
 
 I now saw a multitude of machines similar to ours 
 socially moored to each other by ropes. They were all 
 occupied by young people, and one of these who seemed to 
 have an official function, addressed me as we drew near. 
 
 " Welcome," he said, " to our community ! I am di- 
 rected to salute each guest and extend to him the freedom 
 and privileges of the city." 
 
 "Where am I, if you please?" I asked. "I fear I did 
 not notice as we came along." 
 
 " Always the first question," he said smiling. " Y(ui 
 are in the interstellar spaces beyond the influence of gravi- 
 tation. The revolution of the earth on its axis and its an- 
 nual journey around the sun have no influence ujioii u-^ 
 here, and tlie result is that we have neither days nor years. 
 and hence do not grow old." 
 
 " How is that ? '' asked T. 
 
 " Age depends," he said. " upon the flight of years. All 
 we have to do in order to keep young is to ])revent the years 
 
TPIE SECRET OF PERENNIAL YOUTH. 297 
 
 from flying. Is not this obvious? And there are no years 
 or days out here." 
 
 The remark bewildered me, and I told him I would like 
 time to think about it. The more I thought about it the 
 more clearly I saw that the proposition was entirely correct, 
 for it was unquestionably the jsassage of years which made 
 us grow old, and if we could keep ourselves from going 
 round the earth and round th« sun, it appeared perfectly 
 obvious that no more years would ever pass. " Yes," I said, 
 that's so. I see it. No more days, no more years; no 
 more years, no more old age. Yes, there is no getting 
 around that." For I had recently examined Tourmalin's 
 fantastic " Time-checks," and listened to Hiland Kirk's 
 grave speculations on physical immortality. But I told 
 the young man that the idea of never growing old was 
 rather paralyzing and made my head ache; I wanted time 
 to consider it. Moreover I was hungry, and at that very 
 instant I thought I heard a familiar tin horn blown at the 
 back door and a voice cry " Come on or you'll lose your 
 dinner ! " 
 
 I opened my eyes and there I sat in that rocking-chair. 
 I knew I had not been away. I knew it was a dream. I 
 saw the flies dancing their airy waltz — the very same flies 
 I had seen the minute before; I took note of the Persian 
 lilac caressing the window sash with its purple touch, and 
 I noticed the polished conch shell and listened and fancied 
 I could hear its moan. I recalled the grotesque dream I 
 had had, and laughed to myself ; and at that very moment 
 a young man leaned over the picket fence by the rosebush, 
 picked a rose with rustic freedom, and said " Good 
 morning ! " 
 
 I gave him greeting, and alleged, in order to start the 
 conversation amicably, that it was a hot day. 
 
 " It's a stinger ! " he said. '' I haven't seen so hot a day 
 for a hundred years ! " 
 
 " How long did you say ? " I asked, rising from the chair 
 
298 THE SECRET OF PERENNIAL YOUTH. 
 
 and laughing. " That must have been when you were a 
 mere child." 
 
 " No/' he said, " I was sixty odd then." 
 
 " Sixty odd what ? " I inquired. 
 
 " I was sixty-four years old," he said, " the last warm 
 summer I ever saw. That was a hundred years ago down 
 in old Kaintuck." 
 
 He smelt the rose, and pinned the white blossom in his 
 button-hole. He was a youth of about twenty-five, of florid 
 complexion, blue eyes, and long black, wavy hair. He 
 wore a full beard also, neatly trimmed, but ample enough, 
 it occurred to me, to be of real service in cold weather. 
 
 " I was in Kentucky," he explained, " in 1804. I didn't 
 exactly live there : I wandered among the Indians. I was 
 disgusted with the human race. But you don't care to hear 
 my story." 
 
 " Excuse me," I said, " I do ; " for it was apparent that 
 he was harmless, and he might be amusing. He walked 
 through the gate, took a chair, and continued : " Stranger, 
 my name is John Fitch. Did you ever hear of me ? " 
 
 " No," I said. " But I may have heard of your great- 
 great-grandfather." 
 
 " That's me," he said. 
 
 " By the way, do you say ' that's me ' or ' that's I ' now- 
 adays? There is quite a discussion about it where I came 
 from." 
 
 I did not enter enthusiastically into the question of gram- 
 mar, but I asked " Where the dickens did you come from? 
 if you'll excuse me ? " 
 
 " North Pole. That's where I got young." 
 
 "Ah! How was that?" 
 
 He threw one leg over the other as if he were going to 
 stay all day, and went on. 
 
 "I invented the steanilioat some time l)efore 1 left here. 
 In fact, I made the steaml)oat. 1 got exclusive patents 
 good for fourteen 3'ears, to use them on American waters. 
 I put a boat on the Delaware, and ran the Conthi^ntal 
 
THE SECEET OF PERENNIAL YOUTH. 299 
 
 Congress and the Constitutional Convention clown to the 
 sea and hack. I ran that boat all one summer between 
 Philadelphia and Burlington. Everybody called me crazy, 
 but they bought tickets. Then I got a concession from 
 France; but it was the fourth year of the Republic, and 
 Parisians thought a heap more of a chopping-block that 
 would work than a steamboat that would go. Finally I 
 got out of money, and worked my ^^assage home. I left my 
 specifications witli the American consul, where a man 
 named Fulton found them afterwards. Are there as many 
 sharpers to the square inch as there were in those days? 
 Well, about a year later I escaped from a lunatic asylum 
 where some kind friends had got quarters for me, and died. 
 That is, I hid for several years among the Indians of Ohio. 
 From there I went up into British America, and from 
 what is now Point Barrow I put off Avith two Eskimo, in 
 a kaiak, straight north. I was mad and sick, and did not 
 care what became of me. There was no ' gold cure ' in 
 those distant days. Am I getting tiresome ? " 
 
 I reassured him. He laughed and continued : 
 
 " One of those Eskimo was a daisy." 
 
 " It strikes me," I suggested, " if you will permit the 
 interruption, that you are exceedingly fly in the use of 
 modern slang for a man who departed this life a hundred 
 years ago." 
 
 " Very likely," he said, " why not ? We sing the Na- 
 vajo up there, and have enriched our vocabulary with a 
 good many of your latest local gags. Fugitives come to 
 our Polar colony now, every year, from the United States." 
 
 "What for? ".I ventured to ask. 
 
 " To prevent the flight of time," he said, " and to get 
 young." 
 
 I moved a little further off from him, carefully, and 
 without wishing to attract his attention, and said "'That 
 seems impossible." 
 
 " Well," he said, " object lessons ! Inspect me ! I am 
 164 years old, as nearly as I can make out. Do you notice 
 
300 THE SECEET OF PERENXIAL YOUTH. 
 
 any gray hairs ? " he asked, running his fingers through his 
 abundant locks carelessly. " Any wrinkles ? I can jump 
 over that fence backwards." 
 
 " Will you kindly explain it ? " I asked. 
 
 " Did I detect the- suppression of a yawn, just then? " 
 
 " N"o," I protested. " It was only an expression of 
 amazement." 
 
 " Very well. A moment's reflection will show you that 
 anybody can keep always young at or in the vicinity of 
 either of the poles. Permit me to ask you a question, to 
 throw light on it. What makes a man grow old ? " 
 
 " The flight of years — I've been thinking about that."' 
 
 " And what measures the flight of years ? " 
 
 " The procession of days — I've been thinking al^out that, 
 -too." 
 
 " Correct ! " he exclaimed. " Now if you can prevent 
 the procession of days the flight of years will be impossible, 
 won't it? 
 
 " Undoubtedly— Init—" 
 
 '^ Undoubtedly ! Very well, now rest there! Wait! 
 All you've got to do is to j^revent the procession of days, 
 isn't" it ? " 
 
 " I should say there was no question of that," I ad- 
 mitted. 
 
 " Good ! That is, if we could go fast enough to keep 
 directly under the sun all the way round the earth each 
 twenty-four hours, no days would ever nuiture — there would 
 be no days for us." 
 
 "Yes," I answered, without venturing more. 
 
 "But the earth is about 16,000 uiiles round in tliis lati- 
 tude, and tlie sliortest way a man caii go it takes him abmit 
 60 days to get anumd it — (liat is. lie only saves one day 
 in 60. Do vou folhnv me?" 
 
 "1 do." 
 
 " It' an Eslcimo could go strniglu round it in the latitude 
 of Labrador he would nuike it in about "20 davs ; that is if 
 
THE SECKET OF PEREJ^NIAL YOUTH. 301 
 
 he went with the sun he would gain one day in ev(!ry 
 twenty." 
 
 " Yes." 
 
 " If a Nova Zemblan could go round it in his latitude, 
 with the same appliances w^e have, he would make it in ten 
 days; that is every time he went round on that parallel it 
 would give him one day longer to live. Do you catch on ? " 
 
 " I do," I answered again, for I was now grown so serious 
 as not to care to comment on his pertness 'of expression. 
 
 " Very well ; now if a man should go so far north as to 
 be able to go round the earth with the sun every day, what 
 would happen ? " 
 
 " No days would pass," I said. 
 
 " Exactly ! Now sup|)0se he should go still further 
 north, so that he could go twice round the earth on that 
 latitude, (near the North Pole,) while the sun was going 
 round once : What Avould happen in that case ? Grow 
 younger all the while, wouldn't he ? " 
 
 " I grope," I said. " The way grows dark. I am uncer- 
 tain. I distrust my reason. I see what you are driving 
 at, but — Colonel Fitch, if you will permit me to call you so 
 — I have known figures to lie ; does astronomy lie, too ? " 
 
 He laughed, and merely answered, '' Look at me ! How 
 old am I ? " 
 
 " Twenty-five, or perha^os thirty, I should guess." 
 
 " Your guessery is out of order," he said playfully. " I 
 am about one hundred and sixty-four years old — American 
 time." 
 
 " How did you manage it ? ^ I asked in a tone of earnest- 
 ness which I fear had the inflections of acquiescence. 
 
 " Come and see," he said, rising from the chair. " I am 
 going back to-day, for I promised to get there by Christ- 
 mas." 
 
 HoAv I ever came to agree to a proposal that seems at 
 first so preposterous is impossible to explain; but the fact 
 is that I followed him out the gate with my straw hat on. 
 
302 THE SECRET OF PERENNIAL YOUTH. 
 
 without a handbag, overshoes, pocketbook or umbrella, and 
 started upon the uncanny excursion. 
 
 " You can tog up when you get there," he said, making 
 that frequent slump into slang which seemed to distinguish 
 his conversation. 
 
 We made our way northward rapidly. Our journey by 
 rail and steamboat and wagon to Point Barrow on the 
 northern coast of British America was commonplace and 
 uneventful. It occupied about six weeks and there was 
 nothing mysterious about it. Before we reached the Arctic 
 circle it began to get dark and cold and we exchanged the 
 attire of low latitudes for the conventional fur bags of the 
 Eskimo, which were very snug and comfortable. 
 
 At the Point Barrow hut (Lat. 70°) where Fitch had 
 sometimes made his headquarters, he found an acquain- 
 tance — an Eskimo. After greeting him heartily he said to 
 me " This is my man, Su-Ivuok. He's a daisy ! " 
 
 " Ah, good morning, Kuok," I said. " I have heard of 
 you." 
 
 " In the knowledge of the region we are going through," 
 continued Fitch, " he is King of the North, and I am only 
 his prime minister. It was he that found the way to the 
 Pole, and thousands are indebted to him for the discovery. 
 Let's go right a-board, Su." 
 
 "All is ready. Captain Fitch," answered the native; 
 " Everything is snug aboard." 
 
 We had had no breakfast, but Su remarked that the j^em- 
 mican was ready and we walked down to the shore of the 
 Arctic Sea. Here we stepped on Iwnrd a kaiak of very cii- 
 perior build and capacity. We had to stoop but little pass- 
 ing into the cabin. The Eskimo cast olf at once, moved 
 a lever at his sidc^ and tlie little boat wheeled round and 
 set her nose away froui land. Noting the absence of sails 
 and oars I asked wliat nmde us move. 
 
 " J\Iy electric engine," said Fitch. " It is tucked away 
 down in the l)ow. I had heen to Wasliington for a patent 
 when T met vou and next vear I am going to lu'ing it out 
 
THE SECEET OF PERENNIAL YOUTH. 303 
 
 on the New York Elevated and Santos-Duniont'.s flying 
 machine. I don't have to burn coal or get up combustion 
 of any kind to obtain my power. I draw it in inexhaustil)le 
 quantities from the original fountain of electricity. The 
 universe is full of power unappropriated; all we need is 
 to seize it and use it." 
 
 ' So we forged ahead. We spent the first six weeks dodg- 
 ing icebergs. 
 
 I had noticed an angry shore ahead up which the waters 
 dashed, and I asked, "You have made a canal through?"' 
 
 " No," he said, laughing, " we don't need it ! " 
 
 In another minute our boat was close to the icy coast, 
 and I was alarmed that its speed was in no wise diminished. 
 At this point the ice met the water in a very gentle slope 
 of not more than ten degrees, and while I was wondering 
 what we should do next, the remarkal)le craft, seeming to 
 catch hold of the icy shore with its claws, climbed up to the 
 top as agile as an overgrown goat. We did not pause on 
 gaining the summit of the ice field, but passed straight on 
 with a speed which was even increased, and I now observed 
 that we were on wheels. Our uninterrupted progress was 
 the more surprising to me because the ice was uneven and 
 in places broken into crevasses four or five feet across. 
 
 " You see we carry our own tracK," said the Captain. 
 
 Slight investigation revealed the secret of his method. 
 Around the boat-wagon endwise parallel with the guards 
 ran two continous bands of iron hinged together in sections. 
 That part of the bands which was at any moment beneath 
 the vehicle formed two tolerably steady rails on Avhieli 
 the wheels ran; as we moved forward that part of 
 the iron bands which was behind the wheels was lifted up 
 by an automatic cam and passed forward over our heads, 
 dropping again in front of the wheels, thus making an end- 
 less track. The necessity of having these tracks jointed 
 so that they could pass over the top of the car and fall 
 again into proper place in front of the wheels resulted in 
 some jolting and uneven movement in spots; but as the ir- 
 
304 THE SECEET OF PERENNIAL YOUTH. 
 
 regularity was not half as great as that encountered by the 
 occupants of a carriage passing over the Rocky Mountains 
 by the smoothest road, we found little cause to complain. 
 As we advanced it kept getting colder, when my attention 
 was invited to a sheet-iron panel set in the bow; and this 
 I found radiated a high degree of heat. 
 
 " Cosmical electricit}^/' said Fitch, " transmutation of 
 forces. What's the use of freezing ? " 
 
 We were about two months more getting to the Pole. 
 We met and passed four or five people going or coming on 
 conveyances similar to our own. We saw droves of rein- 
 deer and musk-ox and added some to our cuisine; a few 
 prowling blue wolves, flocks of eider ducks, and near the 
 fiords we passed hundreds of seal and an occasional whale 
 in the offing. Our food was mostly a kind of pemmican 
 made of whale skin and whale gum, and a dessert of the 
 marrow from reindeer bones mixed with walrus blubber and 
 beaten up like whipped cream. 
 
 One morning I was awakened by Su-Ivuok"s electric 
 whistle tearing away like mad. I say "one morning" 
 conventionally, merely because it was the end of one of our 
 sleeps. It was a dusky twilight. We had not seen the sun 
 since Se2:)tember, and I just managed to keep alive my faith 
 that it was rolling around the earth somewhere below the 
 horizon of faintish pink. As Ave suddenly came to a stop 
 I looked out of the cabin Avindow, and through the semi- 
 darkness sa\A' that we Avere moored in the suburbs of Avhat 
 seemed a populous village. There AA'ere several carriages 
 like ours, and snoAv villas and ice palaces in every direction. 
 Tbe stars AA'cre all out, and Ave stood under the Little 
 Dipper. 
 
 " Yonder is tbo pole." said CajUain Fitch, ]-)ointing \o an 
 upright post alxnit seventy-five feet high, bearing Avhat 
 seemed to be a sun at its peak and moons upon its side. 
 
 "By the Avay." he continued. "I happen to know that 
 you haA'o not kept an accurate run of the days during the 
 
THE SECRET OP PERENNIAL YOUTH. 305 
 
 coming- on of darkness; so you will perhaps be surprised 
 to hear that this is Christmas Day. 
 
 " I see that the citizens of Polopolis are in the midst 
 of their customary festival. Notice the luminaries on the 
 Pole, and the stars, crescents, hearts, and other symbols 
 outlined in flame upon the villas." 
 
 I hastened to follow him toward the pole, which seemed 
 the centre of light for all the region. The ice near it was 
 already occupied. Most of the people were walking around 
 it to the left, with the sun; and some were walking very 
 fast indeed, while others were weaving ribbons around it, 
 dancing and singing the joyous song of the solstice. 
 
 " Is this really the North Pole," I asked Fitch, when the 
 cheer with which the villagers greeted him had subsided. 
 
 " This is the very identical — the old original," he 
 chuckled. '" Su and I came here a hundred years ago ; and 
 these later immigrants, as you see, never tire of thanking 
 us." 
 
 " How on earth did you ever find it when so many others 
 have missed it? " I asked him. 
 
 " It was Su's idea," he said. " He piloted me to the 
 vicinity. Then I brought a zenith telescope and at first 
 set it up exactly under the great star Polaris. I was then, 
 of course, within fifty miles or so of the right spot. It was 
 winter, and the stars shone all the time. I moved round 
 experimentally and finally had the satisfaction of getting 
 the vertical tube directly under the little star j\_ Ursa 
 Minoris. Then, as everybody knows, I was within a 
 quarter of a mile of the right spot. An immense top, like 
 the earth, spinning in space, will wobble a little, but we 
 are now where the sun and stars march straight round the 
 horizon, and are within a few rods of the exact terres- 
 trial pole. I am finishing a mamietic chronometer vrhich 
 will enable me to correct my estimate to within a foot or 
 two." 
 
 I was about to ask him if he found the pole put up on 
 that spot on arriving, when he was saluted l)y some young 
 
3()G THE SECEET OF PEEENNIAL YOUTH. 
 
 ladies near by to whom he presently introduced me. They 
 were blooming creatures full of ruddy health, a little in- 
 clined to be boisterous and on the outer edge of giggiehood. 
 
 " These ladies have been here," he said, '•' since me time 
 when your father was born." 
 
 " Impossible ! " I exclaimed. 
 
 " Yes, indeed ! And some of us were very passee at that 
 time," said one, laughing. 
 
 " Belonged to the Pal£eozoic Period," said another. 
 
 " You do not look at all antique at this time," 1 re- 
 marked. 
 
 "' I flatter myself not. We've been doing the circuit," 
 said she. 
 
 " Wliat is that, if you please ? " I asked. 
 
 " My friend has just arrived," explained Fitch. 
 
 " Will you come and take a walk with me ? " said tlie 
 prettiest of the bevy. I gave her my arm with a little 
 thrill of regret that I had not known her l)efore, and we 
 walked toward the Pole. 
 
 ''^ I was forty-eight years old when we got here," she 
 frankly explained. " I ran as hard as I could the first 
 day, and went around the Pole with the sun seven hun 
 dred and thirty times. I was dreadfully tired that night, 
 but I knew I had got ahead of the cruel tyrant of the skies 
 by about two years. ' How much better you look,' said my 
 friends the next morning." 
 
 When we had been about four times round the pole (we 
 had to keep a hundred feet from it on account of the 
 croAvd of earlier comers) she said playfully, increasing her 
 pace, "Come on! You need this l)adly. You ought to 
 have had some of it liefore." 
 
 "These elderly people here Avalking the snuie way we 
 are," she continued, "arc growing younger all the while. 
 Of course they are just as many days younger as they are 
 able to keep alu-nd of the sun. 'idiat scrawny looking old 
 ruin over there in a jioke bonnet (they revert to the cos- 
 tume of the States sometimes, when they walk very fast) 
 
THE SECEET OF PERENmAL YOUTH. 307 
 
 has been here only a few daj^s ; she will he a blooming girl 
 of eighteen or twenty summers before the sun rises towards 
 the horizon next spring. You notice she carries a parrot 
 on her finger? Polly grows young too. And here's this 
 nice yellow dog at the heels of this man. He has grown 
 younger and sprier every day for the past six weeks. You 
 wouldn't know him ! " 
 
 " Why are some of the people going the other way ? " I 
 asked. 
 
 '■ Only the babies," she answered. " Kids are always a 
 nuisance when they are young; so their mothers, or the 
 nurses, take all the young things at six weeks old and draw 
 them rapidly round the Pole on these cradle sleds, — against 
 the sun of course. By this expedient, infants six weeks 
 old get to be six years old in about a month. Of course 
 the mothers and nurses grow rather faded in this operation, 
 but they take measures to make themselves young again 
 when the babies have been properly matured." 
 
 After we had walked for an hour, and I was beginning 
 to get quite an idea of my new surroundings, she sud- 
 denly cried, " Do you see that scythe hanging up on the 
 N. P. ? That's a s3'mbol, indicating that old Time hasn't 
 any further use for it. Now I must ask you to excuse me. 
 I have walked altogether too far in this direction already; 
 but the presence of a stranger was exhilarating, and I 
 walked on. I must run around the Pole fifty times 
 in the other direction, for I am falling into a state of ridi- 
 culous juvenility." 
 
 I saw Captain Fitch at a little distance, and I tliought 
 I would ask him who put up the Pole; but he cut me off 
 with '' How do you like our folks ? " 
 
 " Superb," I said. " Where in the world did you find 
 them ? " 
 
 " They all came from the States," he answered. 
 
 " Why haven't they been missed at home? " 
 
 " Your premises are faulty," he said. " They liave been 
 missed at home. They mostly personify the ' mysterious 
 
308 THE SECRET OF PERENXIAL YOUTH. 
 
 disappearances ' that take place down yonder. Don't you 
 remember how many, not only obscure people, but bank 
 presidents, prominent lawyers, and college professors have 
 been missed and never heard of again ? — or ' hardly ever,' 
 as we say in Pinafore." 
 
 " Some afflictions you certainly avoid by camping up 
 here," I said, — '" matrimonial troubles, for instance." 
 
 " 0, no, we don't," said he. " Miss Lou Martin, that 
 girl whom you were talking with, and whom I told I had 
 bought you for her, asked me to bring you around to hor 
 egloo this evening ; so look out ! " 
 
 " I will heed your warning. But you certainly avoid 
 labor troul)les and controversies about property." 
 
 " Mistaken again. Wait till the Socialistic League holds 
 a meeting! According to the laws under which we now 
 live the pole belongs to the first comer — " 
 
 "■ By the wav," I put in. " about that pole — " 
 
 " Yes," he continued, " about that pole. The one who 
 gets there first has a right to go about the pole as close to 
 it as he can get ; the next comer must go around it a little 
 further off, and so on." 
 
 " That strikes me as fair," I said. 
 
 " The Socialistic League does not think so," he said. 
 " Its members insist that competition is the death of lui- 
 man rights, and that if a man is compelled to take liis 
 chance with others who have the same rights that he has, 
 he is virtually a slave." 
 
 " Yonr rules provide," I inquired, " that the man who 
 gets to the pole first, after a storm, for instance, has a right 
 to use it on that latitude ? " 
 
 " Exactly," he said, " and the next comer must use the 
 latitude a little further off, say a foot." 
 
 "And what does tlie Socialistic League want?" 
 
 " Its members want to abolish competition. They insist 
 that the benefits which the pole confers belong to each in- 
 habitant whether he will use them or not. Thoy insist that 
 nothing shall be left to individual abilitv or individual 
 
THE SECRET OF PEEENNIAL YOUTH. 309 
 
 choice. They insist that the community shall decide 
 whether a man needs to go around the Pole and when he 
 needs to go and which way he needs to go. And having 
 decided this, that they shall take him and make him go or 
 carry him, and not permit him to go in any other way or 
 at any other time. This they call industrial equality. But 
 a good many of us think that the present method of com- 
 petition is more just and leaves a man more free." 
 
 He was silent and thoughtful for a moment, and then 
 added " There are also people here who are indignant at 
 our limitations, and insist that we at Polopolis are all 
 virtually slaves — can you conjecture why?" 
 
 I confessed that I could not and asked him to tell me 
 why they imagined themselves in a state of servitude. 
 
 " Because it is impossible for them to go North ! " he 
 exclaimed with a sniff of impatience. " They are pessi- 
 mists." 
 
 My gaze was again fixed on the illumination. " How do 
 you like our lights ? " he asked. 
 
 " Wonderful ! " I responded. "" Did I understand you 
 to say that your light and heat are obtained without fuel ? " 
 
 " Great Scott ! I should hope so ! " he exclaimed. 
 " Fuel is antiquated. We draw our electricity from the 
 inorganic universe direct, releasing it without the aid of 
 combustion. This ]3lanet is an immense storage battery, 
 and the Aurora Borealis is all the while being emptied into 
 it through the magnetic pole. I intercept this electric tor- 
 rent by a simple contrivance, and get all the power we 
 want for light, heat, transportation, and other dynamics." 
 
 " Sir," said I gasping for breath, " I suppose you gear 
 the Arctic Circle to the inner flange of the firmament l)v 
 cogs ! You are making fun of me. This tapping the Au- 
 rora Borealis is ridiculous and impossible." 
 
 " Certainly." he calmly observed, " that's what it is. 
 All great inventions are ridiculous and impossible. That's 
 the peculiarity of them. That's what makes them so 
 curious. Look at Edison's phonograph, for instance, and 
 the moving nictures." 
 
310 THE SECEET OF PEEENNIAL YOUTH. 
 
 " Wlio put up that Pole ? " I asked;, breaking away from 
 his theme in desperation. 
 
 " 0^ yes," he said, '" I meant to tell you. The old Xor- 
 wegian put it up. Come and look at it ! " 
 
 The Pole was about two feet through, and we approached 
 and inspected it. The electric lamps made it look like a 
 colossal candelabrum. 
 
 " Letters on it," I said. " What a lot of queer char- 
 acters cut in the bark ! " 
 
 " Very old wood," he explained. " It does look like bark. 
 It is undoubtedly many thousand years old, and stands 
 nearly in the middle of the ship, — it is the mizzen mast." 
 
 " What ship are you talking about. Captain? "' 
 
 " The Om-Slaga, an old Norwegian bark that drifted 
 here at the beginning of the great northern Ice Age." 
 
 " How do you know ? " I said, looking at him incredu- 
 lously. 
 
 " This writing here is the Song of Annihilation," he re- 
 plied. " I will give you the substance of it after dinner." 
 
 " Dinner ! " I echoed. " What on earth. — or rather, 
 what on ice — do you eat here ? " 
 
 " Anything we prefer. We make all sorts of food com- 
 bining the chemical elements, salts, etc., around the arma- 
 ture of the dynamo. We can turn out ortolans, terrapin 
 and champagne, at the same price as water and cabbage." 
 
 I was surprised into a long whistle, l)ut I intermitted 
 it to listen to him when lie continued: "Yes; that's new 
 to you, isn't it? It is Franklin's latest invention. Let's 
 step in and see him." 
 
 "See who?" 
 
 " Franklin — Benjamin, the old printer and philosopher. 
 He likes to show his outfit." 
 
 I was paralyzed with amazement and said nothing, but 
 obediently followed him. He swung a block of ice away, 
 revealing a passage to a room where we found machinery 
 whizzing and whirling. 
 
 Sure enough! The old almanac-maker stood before us. 
 
TPIE SECRET OF PEREJsT^IAL YOUTH. 311 
 
 in the colonial garb and with the whimsical smile so fa- 
 miliar in his pictures. To my surprise he called me by 
 name. " I saw by the Morning Chronicle that you were 
 in town," he added. 
 
 " Is this the market-garden, Doctor? " I asked, as calmly 
 as I could. 
 
 " Yes/' he answered. " It 's new 3'et, but I am already 
 manufacturing all the victuals our folks want." 
 
 " What do you call the Avonderful thing ? " 
 
 " I have named it," he said, " the Nutricator. I sup- 
 pose the Captain has told you that we have actually suc- 
 ceeded in combining the elements and making wholesome 
 food. I make tons in this way. The jirocess is as simple 
 as it is cheap; and it is capable of infinite variety." 
 
 I was dumb with awe as the possibilities of the new in- 
 vention unfolded before me. Looking about I saw nothing 
 on the shelves but some earthen pails and plates containing 
 samples of stuti of different colors ; and I noticed an agree- 
 able odor. " Can I see this miracle-worker — this mar- 
 velous machine ? " 
 
 With an acquiescent nod he led me down a pair of stairs 
 into a light basement room where swarthy looking men 
 were bending over various complicated bits of mechanism. 
 One vessel holding a hogshead was attached by a spiral 
 system of piping to what looked like a hydraulic ram. The 
 shelves were lined with chemical glassware — beakers, test- 
 tubes, retorts, distilling flasks, crucibles, and other un- 
 wieldy and curious contraptions too numerous to mention 
 and too comj)licated to descril^e. There was a gas furnace 
 in one corner and a small battery in another from which 
 two wires Avent to the vat. 
 
 " How is it now ? " asked Dr. Franklin. 
 
 " About 53," replied the man in charge. That was all. 
 
 "I shall simplify that machine one-half," remarked the 
 Doctor. " Yet with these equipments T can turn out five 
 tons of food every day of various kinds. I have already 
 furnished eighteen kinds of food." 
 
312 THE SECRET OF PERENNIAL YOUTH. 
 
 " I would like to know more about it/' I said. 
 
 " Ver}^ well. All food comes^ of course^ primarily from 
 the earth. The plants and fruits we eat used to come 
 from the moist ground, and the animals we ate lived on 
 the plants or on other animals that the plants kept alive. 
 So the food of the human race has come from the elements 
 that are stored up in earth, air, and water. Take a grain 
 of wheat, for instance. It is mainl}^ composed of a few 
 simple gases and salts that last year were lying dormant in 
 the earth, air and Avater. It occurred to me that this pro- 
 cess might be hastened ; that, instead of waiting a year for 
 Nature to collect and compact those elements into an or- 
 ganic seed, I could obtain them in an hour, or perhaps a 
 few minutes, and arrive at the same result by the syn- 
 thetic method of combining them inorganically. This I 
 have done." 
 
 " You first find out what a particular kind of food is 
 made of ? " 
 
 " Yes ; I analyze it. There are sixty-five simple ele- 
 ments in Nature — that is, substances which we call simple 
 because we have not yet succeeded in proving them to be 
 compound. Carbon is the king of these sixty-five elements. 
 It is the great organizer ; it is never absent from any plant 
 or animal organism; it is at the base of almost everything: 
 it is the key to my discovery, for it possesses the iieculiar 
 capacity of being able to form molecules from its own 
 atoms. The diamond is ]nire carbon; so are graphite and 
 charcoal nearly pure carbon, though they are so difiierent. 
 Sugar and starch belong to tbe carbo-hydrates, and I can- 
 not understand why their manufacture hasn't been liit on 
 before. 1 form all my meat compounds by exposing seven 
 elements in a red hot state to nitrogen gas, though I use 
 different flavors, and sometunes T — " 
 
 '^Pardon the interrujition. Doctor. Imt do you lunnu- 
 i'aclui'e all the flavors toD?" 
 
 " Certainly ; synthesis again ; I have made a fragrant 
 wine that no man can tell from Chateau Yquem. Those 
 
THE SECEET OF PERENNIAL YOUTH. 313 
 
 elements combine at their lowest temperature that have the 
 same atomicity — that is, the same bonds by which they 
 unite with one another or Avith compound molecules.'^ 
 
 " Why has not this wonderful invention been ' hit on ' 
 before, Doctor ? " 
 
 " Because analytic chemistry has received too much at- 
 tention to the exclusion of synthetic chemistry. Men have 
 been more devoted to learning than to doing — to taking to 
 pieces than to jautting together. Lavoisier was just on the 
 edge of it and missed it. Sir Humphrey Davy, Leibig, 
 and Faraday were all in sight of it and suddenly turned 
 aside. They succeeded in making urea out of the elements 
 and several other inorganic substances, but they stopped 
 there. They overlooked the simplicity of this thing. Ba- 
 con directly pointed it out in his Novum Organum. It is 
 a reproach to science that it has been left so long." 
 
 " What is to be the result of your invention, Doctor ? " 
 
 " Captain Fitch is going down to market the invention 
 in Wall Street next month. I think that after two or three 
 years New Yorkers, for instance, will no longer eat meat 
 or vegetables. They will not send to the tropics for fruits 
 or to Europe for wines, because the head of every family 
 hy turning a crank (or by a clockwork apparatus) can pro- 
 duce more delicious fruits and wines at a tenth of the 
 cost." 
 
 " How came you to think of such a thing. Doctor, if I 
 may inquire ? " 
 
 " Sir Isaac New^ton, you know, said ' The properties of 
 all food are in the dirt under out feet and in the air over 
 our heads, but they elude our grasp.' While thinking of 
 this I was led on by Dalton's great discovery of the law 
 of multiple proportions — that the atomic weight of com- 
 pounds is the sum of the atomic weight of their ingredients. 
 I was helped, also, by the well known law of i--omorphism — 
 that certain groups of substances exist, any member of 
 which can be replaced by any other member without chang- 
 ing the crystalline character of the matter. Then, as shown 
 
31-t THE SECEET OF PEEENMAL YOUTH. 
 
 in the Torricellian vacimm. the extraordinary analogy be- 
 tween homologous groiqjs of organic compounds and cer- 
 tain small grouj^s of the elements as chlorine, bromine, and 
 iodine, has been remarked by many chemists. Not only 
 isolated triads but all the elements may be brought into 
 such homologous series expressed by the general formula 
 of the periodic law,- — a nh. You see how this is at once." 
 
 Without a moment's hesitation I assured him that it was 
 very simple and I understood it all ; then I asked him how 
 the public health would be affected by such a sudden and 
 radical change of food. 
 
 " No change of food is contemplated, my dear sir. 
 Every man can have food of the kind to which he is ac- 
 customed. It will be as easy to produce cabbages as 
 oranges, and partridges as pork. We shall actually pro- 
 duce these very things, but in a new form. It will be cab- 
 bages and oranges that have never felt the wind and rain, 
 and pork and partridges that have never been alive. V\'e 
 merely take a short cut and snatch the food from the earth 
 without giving it the trouble of growing. It will slightly 
 lack fibre — that is the only perceptible difference. 
 
 " How can you tell when you have got enough of any 
 given element, doctor ? " 
 
 " The equivalent value of an element is now measured 
 by the number of atoms of a monatomic or univalent ele- 
 ment with which it will coml)ine. It is known, for in- 
 stance, that chlorine combines with one atom of hydrogen, 
 oxygen with two, nitrogen with three, carbon with four, 
 and so on. I have struck souie astonishing examples of 
 allotropy, that is, the 2)roduction of entirely dissimilar com- 
 pounds from nearly similar elements. Nature is full of 
 suri)rises. For instance, I make bananas and chocolate 
 out of the very same ingredients, and the method of com- 
 bining differs only a trifle.'' 
 
 I suddenly missed Ca])tain Fitdi, ami tlu^ next uionieiit 
 I found myself standing by his side up by the ]wle. It con- 
 fused me a little, for I did not rememl)er voluntarily 
 
THE SECRET OF PEREXNIAL YOUTPI. 315 
 
 making the transit. And there was tlie delightful Miss 
 Martin. 
 
 "■ AVe have heen waiting for you," said the Captain. 
 " We wanted to show you around." I followed them down 
 a stairway nearby and along a corridor cut in the ice, 
 bringing us in a minute or two to the end of a spiral tun- 
 nel. Down this on easy slope we descended. The way was 
 luminous with what I judged was some invisible electric 
 contrivance. 
 
 I took out my watch at this ^Doint and casually glanced 
 at the face of it. " Half past two," I said. 
 
 "That's all very well," remarked Miss Martin, "but 
 I'll bet you can't tell whether it's yesterday or to-morrow ! " 
 
 " You are right," I said submissively, and I tried to re- 
 member how long it had been since I saw daylight. At 
 the end of the crystal hall we came upon what looked like 
 a section of a ship, and in its deck, sure enough, was 
 firmly fastened the mast whose upper portion we had seen 
 above. 
 
 " AYe have used up the rest of the hull and spars for our 
 vehicles and house-trimmings," he exjDlained. 
 
 " This," he continued, leading me round the mast to the 
 other side, " is the galley, and here, on digging around, 
 we found the crew of the ancient vessel." 
 
 " Alive, Cajitain ? " I asked. 
 
 " Oh. no. Frozen solid. We have them yet. Do you 
 want to see them? These little drawers here must have 
 been the cook's — where he kept his pepper, salt, and other 
 seasonings. We keep the crew in them now." 
 
 Before I could express the amazement I felt. Miss Mar- 
 tin drew out one of the tiny drawers and set it on the rude 
 slab of ice that served as a table. " There he is ! " she 
 exclaimed. The little box contained what I at first thought 
 was a doll, dressed in the eiderdown hood and long fawn- 
 skin skirts of a Norwegian baby. 
 
 As she took it in her hands and laid it upon my arm, I 
 saw that it actually was a bab}', or had been, but it was 
 
316 THE SECEET OP PERENNIAL YOUTH. 
 
 an unpleasant sight. Its wizened face was pinched and 
 drawn with suffering. I looked from one to the other for 
 an explanation. 
 
 " Yes," said Captain Pitch, as if reading ni}' thought, 
 " as 3?ou say, they had a hard time of it. Twenty of 'em we 
 have in the drawers around this galley. We know by this 
 little iron chain which clasps the mantle that this was the 
 Captain, but this," he continued, opening another drawer 
 and exhibiting another midget face, " was the last survivor. 
 He was an ancient Viking of some learning, and he it 
 was who wrote upon the mast in Eunic characters the story 
 of their voyage, their distress and their extinction. He put 
 all these others in these drawers. He says he Avas about 
 seventy when the ship drifted into these jDarts and began 
 to go round in the whirlpool, while the rest were much 
 younger and of course they grew smaller and smaller and 
 perished first. There seems to have been no solid ice in 
 these parts at that time, but there was a great maelstrom 
 here directly at the Pole filled with floating ice and the 
 ship was drawn into it and couldn't get out. These people 
 never knew what the matter Avas Avitli them. They only 
 knew that they had become boys again. As they had to 
 float round the Pole constantly with the sun, they could 
 not try any experiments, such as we tried on the solid ice 
 before we had been here a week. They swung helplessly 
 round and round and kept getting younger and younger, 
 but knew not why. Jum Eui, as this man called himself, 
 l)cgan to suspect when tlie rest became little children what 
 the matter was, and he wrote on the mast in his strange 
 letters ' Doomed ! We are running down the sun ! ' He 
 records that he kept his companions alive by feeding them 
 long after they became perfectly helpless from extreme 
 infancy. 'Put,' lie added, 'I, too, am falling into the 
 green and tender leaf.' As to lus end we are left to in- 
 ference, l)ut we assiiine thai he also became too young to 
 feed himself and died of inanition." 
 
 "A very nice looking child," 1 said to ]\iiss ^lartin. 
 
THE SECRET OF PEKENNIAL YOUTH. 317 
 
 handing back the little old man whose eyes followed me 
 as if he were alive. 
 
 " You cannot imagine," she said to me, " what a tre- 
 mendous interest we ladies took in Jum liui when we first 
 found him. We used to take him out of the drawer a 
 dozen times a day and run around the j^ole against the sun, 
 trying to make him grow older. It was terribly exciting, 
 hoping against hope, hastening round the circuit with the 
 little fellow, who Avas growing older every minute, but 
 couldn't be made to understand it. It was really pathetic, 
 too, I have seen the girls laugh and cry over little Jum Rui, 
 but it was of no use. Too late ! They themselves grew 
 older but he did not recover the vital spark." 
 
 " No ! " exclaimed the Captain, " I have seen them cry- 
 ing over him and tossing him up and saying ' Ittle woot- 
 sey-tootsey, so he should ! ' But he was a goner." 
 
 " What do 3'Ou suppose the little folks lived on, Captain, 
 is it known ? " 
 
 " 0, yes," he said. " Jum Eui wrote out the story on 
 the mast. Wild animals from the whole Arctic region 
 were attracted upon the broken ice by the curious whirling 
 with the sun. They, too, kept growing younger and 
 younger; and when they were young and tender the crew 
 caught them and used them for food. At last the vener- 
 able infants got too young to capture any, and then they 
 seem to have shut themselves up in the galley. It kept 
 snowing faster and faster, and freezing harder and harder, 
 till at last — 23rol3ably ten thousand years ago, and some 
 centuries after all had perished — the great Palaeocrystic 
 Sea became solidly congealed, and revolved only with the 
 earth. Great numbers of animals had assembled in the 
 snow at this point, having yielded to the centripetal in- 
 fluences, and their carcasses were frozen up solid. So the 
 ice under our feet, and around this wreck for miles, is a 
 vast refrigerator full of fresh meat." 
 
 " It will not prejudice yon, I trust, against our din- 
 ners," said Miss Martin with a laugh, " to know that the 
 
318 THE SECKET OF PEBENXIAL YOUTH. 
 
 meat has been dead for thousands of years.. For I assure 
 you that you will find these aged castaways as savory and 
 nutritious as when first taken from your — what do you 
 call the cattle place? — yes, your abattoir. But 3'OU 
 are not compelled to eat it if you prefer Poor Eichard's 
 synthetic storehouse. Ah ! here comes Jacques." 
 
 A dashing sleigh was at our side that instant, and a 
 liveried lacquey exerted all his strength to fetch to a full 
 stop his prancing team of reindeer. " A little sur^Drise 
 for you. My oomiak," she remarked ; "" I thought that 
 you might enjoy a drive to Walrus Cove in it behind the 
 palmate horns." I folloAved my volatile hostess into the 
 strange vehicle, and we started on a gallop. 
 
 " You ought to have got another white bear robe for 
 our guest, Jacques," she said, and turning to me she ex- 
 claimed sjmipathetically, " I am sure you will be cold.'' 
 
 " I must get hardened to this climate," I answered. 
 " Probably I shall not suffer. Gratitude for this superb 
 drive ought to keep me warm." 
 
 Our driver hauled up at an egloo and got some more 
 fur wra})S. My fair escort was generous, moreover, for 
 she let me share her muff. " I am glad that your hands 
 are not frosted," she said with a laugh. 
 
 To tell the honest truth I Avas in a fervent glow of ad- 
 miration of the lovely creature into whose care I had 
 fallen, and my warm temperature had little to do with 
 the temperature of the polar zone. 
 
 " Probablv you have not noticed that we are going down 
 hill," she said. 
 
 "Yes," I answered,'"' and your driver is speeding his 
 magnificent team in great style." 
 
 " I told him to let 'em out," she said. '" Our speed 
 will !)(' Caslcr and faster till we get to ^roscow." 
 
 "To wliere?" T asked, thinking I bad misunderstood 
 her. 
 
 "' Moscow, Piussia."' sbe rept'ated. " In an hour or so 
 Jacques will unhitch his cattle and take them back to 
 
THE SECTER OF PERENNIAL YOUTH. 319 
 
 Polopolis, and the oomiak will glide the rest of the way b}'' 
 its owii momentum. You are no light weight, and I am 
 no sylph." 
 
 " Glide ? " I repeated, with perhaps something of anx- 
 iety if not of alarm in my voice, " I do not understand 
 you," and I held both of her warm hands in mine. 
 
 '" Y^es," she said, feebly trying to release them, " see 
 here ! wake up ! I'll explain it to you. It isn't difficult 
 to understand that we are going down hill, is it? You 
 see for yourself. And how could it be otherwise? \Vhen 
 you go south you always go down hill, don't you ? Isn't 
 the top of every map north and the bottom of it south, and 
 isn't the top of everything always higher than the bot- 
 tom ? I have brought along a couple of pairs of skees, 
 and when tired of this seat we can skee right through to 
 St. Petersburg. When going down this tremendous de- 
 clivity we sometimes make five hundred miles an hour. 
 It is difficult to catch 3'Our breath." 
 
 Reaching suddenly into the back part of the sleigh, she 
 said " I brought some flowers for the wedding from the 
 
 Captain's conservatory, Mr. bless my stars ! Y^ou 
 
 haven't told me your name yet ! " and she brushed a fine 
 and fragrant spike of lilac blossoms across my cheek, and 
 uttered a ringing laugh. Just then I caught a glimpse of 
 a satin-lined conch shell and heard a far-off voice shout 
 '■ Come on or you'll lose your dinner ! " 
 
 The voice startled me so that I reeled to my feet, for 
 now I knew that it was not her voice, and perceived that 
 the hand was not hers that was laid lightly on my shoulder. 
 
SOME KECENT POEMS, 
 
SOME EECExNT POEMS. 
 
 323 
 
 THE POINT OF VIEW. 
 
 "\^n[ien George the Third, of Brunswick's line, 
 
 His feeble reason lost, 
 And in his brain without design, 
 
 The frenzied webs were crossed. 
 Upon the sea of darkness he 
 
 In doubt and dream w^as tossed. 
 
 " I cannot speak ! I cannot hear ! " 
 
 He wrote with trembling hand ; 
 " But symbols to m}^ mind are clear. 
 
 Go search throughout the land 
 For one inspired, w^ith wisdom fired. 
 
 Who signs can understand." 
 
 They sought the islands round and round. 
 
 Sought vainly till they came 
 To fair Killarney, Avhere they found 
 
 A peasant, Pat by name, 
 Who, when they told, made answer bold, 
 
 " Faith, I can do that same."' 
 
 Pat wore the usual brace of eyes 
 
 When his career begun ; 
 But time diminishes supplies, 
 
 And he, 'mid Orange fun. 
 Had, in the rout, an eye punched out, 
 
 Which left him onlv one. 
 
324 SOME EECENT POEMS. 
 
 Confronted with the king^ he bowed, 
 
 But not with fear or dread, 
 And shouted to the monarch loud, 
 
 Whose ears were sealed and dead, 
 Forgetting that, " Now, then,^' says Pat, 
 
 " Yer honor, go ahead." 
 
 " Shut up ! " his majesty exclaimed, 
 
 " I cannot hear or speak. 
 But for translating signs am famed — 
 
 I read 'em like a streak. 
 Let's me and you exchange a few 
 
 And hidden meanings seek." 
 
 Upheld a single finger he; 
 
 Quick Pat with two replied ; 
 The king responded next with three. 
 
 And then all four he tried. 
 Pat clenched his fist to close the list. 
 
 As he the court defied. 
 
 The monarch l)owed and Pat went out 
 
 And still his fist he shook 
 At all the courtiers round about, 
 
 And cried, " Be gorry, look ! 
 I matched him good ! We onderstood 
 
 Aich other like a book ! " 
 
 THE king's interpretation. 
 
 "A miracle!" tlie king wrote down; 
 
 " How quick lie caught the cue ! 
 I raised one finger for one crown, 
 
 Tlie rogue re])li('(l with two — 
 The queen and me; then I raised tliree- 
 
 The last the prince's due. 
 
SOME RECENT POEMS. 325 
 
 " Then lifted I my digits four, 
 
 For nobles great and wise, 
 Who Brunswick's mighty throne upbore; 
 
 The rascal winked replies. 
 He couldn't have seen my thoughts more keen 
 
 If he'd had forty eyes ! 
 
 " Then clasped he all his fingers tight 
 
 To say ' Thy throne and worth 
 Have all the wisdom, all the light. 
 
 And all the power of earth,' 
 Then quit the place with matchless grace 
 
 As if of noble birth ! " 
 
 THE bishop's interpretation. 
 
 They asked the Bishop, standing near 
 
 If he had understood. 
 " Of course," he said, " 'twas all so clear 
 
 That e'en an infant could ; 
 The talk was cast, from first to last. 
 
 About the Holy Eood. 
 
 " One finger first the king displayed. 
 
 One God — His will be done ! 
 Then Pat raised two, as if he said 
 
 ' Another for the Son ; ' 
 Then George showed three ; ' you're right ' says he 
 
 ' And all the three are one ! ' 
 
 " For Satan then he raised the fourth ; 
 
 Pat fiercely clenched them all 
 As if to say ' That Fiend of Earth 
 
 Shall yet in darkness crawl ; 
 For God's control can snatch the soul 
 
 From his Satanic thrall ! ' " 
 
326 SOME EECENT POEMS. 
 
 pat's INTEKPRETATIOK. 
 
 " When first I seen the King," says Pat, 
 
 '•One finger up he threw 
 To say 'You're blinder than a bat!' 
 
 And then I stuck up two 
 To say ' My one can see more done 
 
 Than both the eyes of you. ' 
 
 " The King turned scarlet in his place 
 
 And then he lifted three, 
 Then four he held forninst my face, 
 
 As bragging he could see 
 (Arrah! Bedad ! It made me mad !) 
 
 Four times as much as me ! 
 
 "I shook my fist — his dirty flings! — . 
 
 My voice in silence rose : 
 ' Bad cess to Protestants and Kings ! 
 
 If you continue those 
 Eemarks — ohone ! — I'll climb your throne 
 
 And welt you on the nose ! ' " 
 
 L 'envoi. 
 
 Mysterious is each simple act. 
 
 E'en if we keep the clew; 
 For though we know the barren fact 
 
 As they the gestures knew. 
 The meaning, friends, you see. depends 
 
 Upon the point of view. 
 
SOME RECENT POEMS. 337 
 
 THE WHITE MAN'S BURDEN. 
 
 (Dedicated to Mr. Rudyard Kipling.) 
 
 Take np the White Man's l)urclen ! 
 
 Send forth thy radiant youth 
 To do the White Man's Duty— 
 
 To speed the White Man's truth; 
 To cheer the heavy-hearted, 
 
 To lift the sore oppressed ; 
 To send the poor your bounty. 
 
 And give the hunted rest. 
 
 Take up the White Man's burden; 
 
 Go pilot as ye may 
 Your new-caught sullen j^eoples. 
 
 Who do not know the way. 
 0, teach them not with cannon, 
 
 These fluttering folk and wild, 
 But lead them, as with yearning, 
 
 The mother leads her child. 
 
 Take up the White Man's burden ; 
 
 Not as, on Indus strand. 
 The sanctimonious butcher 
 
 Has laid his bloody hand. 
 All Albion's hone_yed phrases 
 
 Shall ne'er from memory drive 
 The dastard crimes of Hastings — 
 
 The infamies of Clive. 
 
 Take up the White Man's burden; 
 
 Not as in greed and pride. 
 He built his torture chamljer 
 
 Above the Ganges' tide. 
 
338 SOME EECEXT POEMS. 
 
 While hearts shall ache with pity, 
 To heaven's blue dome will ring 
 
 The shrieks of Sujah Dowlah — 
 The groans of Cheyty Sing. 
 
 Take up the White Man's burden. 
 
 The lion, tired awhile 
 Devouring peaceful peasants 
 
 Along the languid Nile, 
 Salutes us as her otfspring; 
 
 " My noble cub," she says, 
 And offers us her leavings. 
 
 And smears us with her praise. 
 
 Take up the White Plan's burden; 
 
 Mark where his bullets sped ! 
 Go face the frenzied mother 
 
 Above her precious dead. 
 Hurry the Eed Cross succor 
 
 To Luzon's patriot band. 
 That lie in awful windrows 
 
 Along Manila's strand. 
 
 Take up the White Man's burden ! 
 
 Instead of torch and sword. 
 Let our triumphant banner 
 
 Bear Freedom's gracious word. 
 In peace let heathen worship 
 
 Around their altar fires — 
 This is tlie White Man's Inirden— 
 
 The burden of our spires ! 
 
SOME UECENT POEMS. 329 
 
 COLUMBIA'S CALL. 
 
 Men ! men of nerve ! Eise up and show A^oar faces ! 
 
 This is the hour for valiant word and deed. 
 Come to the front ! From high and humble places, 
 
 Columbia summons you in direst need. 
 
 Columbia summons you. In passionate pleading, 
 Tears on her cheek and anguish in her tones, 
 
 Facing the callous demagogues unheeding, 
 Columbia, stricken, calls upon her sons. 
 
 Columbia calls. Her flaming indignation 
 Consumes the traitors who her creed deny- — 
 
 Who vould blot out her mighty Declaration, 
 And make her lustrous promises a lie. 
 
 Her promises ! She pledged the poor and lowly 
 
 To stand with them on Freedom's mountain height 
 
 She taught the world that human rights were holy 
 Beneath the shelter of her bannered might. 
 
 Her flag ! On Bunker Hill its stars had risen ; 
 
 A beacon through white Valley Forge it came ; 
 It glowed when Paul Jones nailed it to his mizzen 
 
 And smote perfidious England's coasts with flame. 
 
 But now to brown men of the farthest ocean 
 
 Yearning to save their homes and build a sta^e, 
 Its crimson is the blood of their devotion — 
 
 Its stripes the syml3ol of a tyrant's hate. 
 
 My country ! Once the scourge of the oppressor ! 
 
 My country ! Once the terror of the throne I 
 Now subjugating — criminal aggressor ! — 
 
 A feeble people fighting for their own ! 
 
330 SOME EECENT POEMS. 
 
 My country ! Patrick Henry ! Marion ! ^Yar^en ! 
 
 Grant ! Sherman ! Sumner ! Lincoln ! Proud array ! 
 Heroes beloved ! Your noble work was foreign 
 
 To all the nation's words and deeds to-day ! 
 
 Up, then, my brothers ! Eise in stern defiance ! 
 
 Shall Freedom's lowly cradle be her tomb? 
 Shall sycophants and traitors in alliance 
 
 Betray our great republic to her doom? 
 
 0, no ! From seashore, prairie, hill and valley, 
 
 The arbiters of destiny and fate 
 At plough and loom and wheel and anvil rally 
 
 To smite down tyranny and save the state ! 
 
 REINFORCEMENTS. 
 
 I heard a surly cynic say " The eagles all are dying ; 
 The Kings that rule our mountain thrones are vanishing 
 away ; " 
 But from a thousand cloudy nests the answer came reply- 
 ing 
 " The eagles of to-morrow are the fledo'linos of to-dav." 
 
 LIBERTY AND COLUMBIA— A COLLOQUY, 
 
 j.ibkrty: 
 
 CoLUiMBiA. put thy sons on guard 
 Where floats the banner of tlie free. 
 
 And day and night koo]) wntcli and ward 
 Where lierocs peril all for me 
 In battle bv the Southern Sea ! 
 
SOME RECENT POEMS. 331 
 
 COLUMBIA : 
 
 How foolish they. mother mine ! 
 
 Britannia, treacherous and strong, 
 Will crush them, though their cause be thine — 
 
 Will crush them though they sing thy song, 
 And though their mission be divine 
 
 And hers be infamously wrong. 
 
 LIBERTY : 
 
 My sluggish daughter ! Wake ! Arise ! 
 The wolf attacks my precious brood ! 
 
 A tempest shakes the Afric skies 
 And spreads a desolating flood 
 Till all the veldt is wet with blood ! 
 
 COLUMBIA : 
 
 I cannot rise ! Behold my chains ! 
 
 They put the gilded baubles on 
 To keep me from the crimson plains 
 
 Until the despot's fight be won — 
 Until, with blow as foul as Cain's, 
 
 The avrful murder shall be done. 
 
 LIBERTY : 
 
 Degenerate child! The shackles break! 
 0. cry aloud ! For succor cry ! 
 
 Not only for thy sister's sake. 
 If Freedom's guard of honor die 
 We, too, shall perish — thou and I ! 
 
 COLUMBIA : 
 
 0. foolish mother! Smooth thy brow; 
 I wear my chains ; let others weep ; 
 
332 SOME EECENT POEMS. 
 
 Because I gave a wicked vow, 
 The guilty promise I must keep. 
 
 I cannot help my sisters now — 
 
 What if they perish ? Let me sleep ! 
 
 LIBEETY'S TORCH. 
 
 Lighthouse Board. Treasury Department. 
 Washington, D.C., February 12, 1902. 
 Official announcement — Liberty-enliglitening-the-world light 
 station. Notice is hereby given tliat on or about jMarch 1, 1902, 
 the fixed white electric light shown from the torch of the bronze 
 statue on Bedloe's island, New York Buy, will be discontinued. 
 By order of the Lighthouse Board, 
 
 N. H. Farquhar, Rear-Admiral. U. S. N. 
 
 Put out the torch whose lustrous beams 
 
 Were lit at Freedom's council-fires; 
 For in its flame no longer gleams 
 
 The lofty purpose of our sires. 
 When mouthing hypocrites efface 
 
 The noble charter of our rights, 
 And set brute forces in its place, 
 
 Put out the signal lights ! 
 
 Till our great armies cease to slay 
 
 And call the roll of Tagal dead.— 
 Oh, let us shrink from light of day 
 
 And torch of night, and hang our head. 
 Put out the lamp ! lest it illume 
 
 Tlie ])atli o\' our ])oi'(idi(Uis fame. 
 Put out the lamp! for in tlio gloom 
 
 We hide our scarlet shame I 
 
 Ah. when our tyrants quench in night 
 The frei'doin ol' the Orient sea. 
 
SOME RECENT POEMS. 333 
 
 Why ghould our goddess keep alight 
 The beacon flame of Liberty ? 
 
 Silence the eagle on his crag! 
 
 Hush holy Freedom's vaunting hymn ! 
 
 Drop down the mast the starry flag, 
 And douse the harbor glim ! 
 
 Wlien patriots welter in their gore 
 
 And perish where our squadrons press, 
 Wliy set this flambeau on the shore, 
 
 To shine upon our wickedness? 
 Ah, Goddess ! lift no trembling hand 
 
 To light the bloody path of hate, 
 But let grim Darkness scowling stand 
 
 And beckon at the gate!* 
 
 TO GEOEGE S. BOUTWELL. 
 
 On his eighty-third birthdaj', January 23. 
 
 Leader of men ! In foremost rank arrayed. 
 With Freedom's fadeless gonfalon unrolled. 
 With armor fashioned for the wise and bold 
 
 On anvil where our fathers' hopes were laid 
 
 And wrought to justice, and with falchion blade 
 Once wielded by the mighty men of old — 
 Disdaining party plaudits, honors, gold, 
 
 We see thee walk serene and unafraid ! 
 
 Thou'rt not forgotten ! Where the tyrant's brawn 
 Sows ashes and makes vassals of the free. 
 
 Where from a bloody ditch her patriot son 
 The Tagal mother drags — Oh. Liberty! 
 
 The heart is kindled with a benison. 
 And lifts a cup of gratitude to thee ! 
 * Three weeks later the torch was relighted. 
 
334 SOME HECENT POEMS. 
 
 THE EPHESIAN DOME.* 
 
 Ho ! Watchman on the walls afar ! 
 
 Again the tigers rove ; 
 Hate's fiery star is fierce Avith Avar 
 
 The peaceful earth above; 
 Now haste ! the gates of Janus bar 
 
 With bolts of triple love ! 
 
 In puny wrath the infant cries 
 
 Beside the island sea, 
 And as its angry wails arise 
 
 And all unheeded be, 
 It to the world the torch applies 
 
 And calls it being free ! 
 
 No war for any greed of gain 
 
 Is worth a widowed wife. 
 Or child bereft, or father slain, 
 
 Or, stretched in l)loody strife 
 Along a single battle })lain, 
 
 A single human life. 
 
 No creed e'er cradled in the heart 
 
 Is worth the hellish mood 
 That makes Tasmanian devils start 
 
 And pour a fiery flood 
 O'er vale and mountain, moor and mart, 
 
 And dnmcli the earth with blood. 
 
 The cross and cri^sceut. li(M-ee in fight — 
 
 Who calls tbe battle blest? 
 The flag wbose IJight is Itanded might, 
 
 Witb Peace upon its crest, 
 
 * Written duiinn- tiie war wliu-ii Uieeee iiiado on Turkey 
 
SOME RECENT POEMS. 335 
 
 All gleaming white in morning light — 
 That banner is the best ! 
 
 Ho ! Watchman on the walls afar ! 
 
 Again the tigers rove ; 
 Chain up the Furies' fiery car, 
 
 Lest brutal Ares move — 
 The gates of Janus lock and bar 
 
 With bolts of triple love ! 
 
 THE CORONATION. 
 
 Let Britain's, glories ring ! 
 
 Come, let us crown the King ! 
 The great republic chants his praise 
 And weaves for him its martial ba3'S ; 
 The viol's song and trumpet's blare 
 With adulation stir the air ; 
 We crouch before his mighty throne. 
 In his exalted presence prone. 
 
 glorious Edward, see, 
 
 We humbly kneel to thee! 
 
 Yea, sire ! Alas, we know 
 
 Our fathers did not so. 
 They brought not to thy grandsire's shrine 
 The incense of his royal line; 
 They did not show the high respect 
 And honor due the liege-elect. 
 But, laying delicacy by. 
 They madly smote him hip and thigh. 
 
 And drove him from the land — 
 
 Him and his Hessian band. 
 
336 SOME RECENT POEMS. 
 
 Oh, Edward, Lord and King ! 
 
 Thy radiant channs we sing. 
 Forgive, forgive our erring sires, 
 Their haughty ways and wild desires. 
 Their reclvless wishes to be free 
 That made them rebels unto thee — 
 To-day we lift repentant eyes — 
 Oh, Edward, we apologize ! 
 
 Obedient to command 
 
 We kiss thy royal hand ! 
 
 Oh, heir of George the Third ! 
 
 Lamenting Avhat occurred, 
 Agreeing, wheresoe'er the land, 
 Like thee to lay a blighting hand 
 On all republics as they rise 
 To soil with hope imperial skies. 
 We haste to help thee mount the throne 
 And hail thee as our very own ! 
 
 We pray, King, that we 
 
 May thy poor flunkeys be. 
 
 To thy proud feet, King ! 
 
 Our flatteries we bring. 
 We deck ourselves like knights of old 
 In purjDle pomp and j^lumes of gold, 
 In panoply of rich array 
 And harness that outshines the day. 
 We hail thee, gracious Liege, but tlcign 
 To smile on us and ease our ]iain ! 
 
 Oh, sovereign! Hear our cry! 
 
 Smile on us or we die ! 
 
SOME RECENT POEMS. 
 
 SAINT PETER'S MISTAKE. 
 
 Saint Peter stood at the golden gate 
 
 One Sunday morning — a recent date — 
 
 And said to Gabriel, lounging near, 
 
 " How fearfully few the arrivals here ! 
 
 How sadly seldom a ticket is seen ! 
 
 In thirty days I've 2)unched fifteen ! 
 
 How screeches the gate as it inward swings ! 
 
 The keys are a bunch of old rusty things; 
 
 If 't isn't used, the neglected road 
 
 To the realm of bliss will have to be mowed. 
 
 In fact, unless more travelers stop 
 
 I fear we may have to shut up shop." 
 
 Now Gabriel knew what the matter was; 
 
 And, thinking he'd better explain the cause, 
 
 Remarked " Let me have a word. I beg." 
 
 Then changed his weight to the other leg. 
 
 And laid one wing on the picket fence, 
 
 And said " Fact is. that a residence 
 
 On earth is made so attractive now, 
 
 And cheap, and easy, as not to allow 
 
 Of any temptation to visit Heaven — 
 
 Such novel joys to mortals are given. 
 
 They fly over earth on wings of fire. 
 
 And under the sea they talk on a wire. 
 
 And old Broadway is lighter they say. 
 
 Than the radiant loft Avhere our harpers play; 
 
 They have no slaves — declare 't is wrong — 
 
 I don't see how they can get along; 
 
 They have one wife — that's overdone. 
 
 For 3'Ou and I wouldn't have ary a one ; 
 
 For the very smallest of coin. I'm told. 
 
 The poor folks v\1q in chariots of gold ; 
 
338 SOME EECENT POEMS. 
 
 Their phonograph bottled the voice, hist year, 
 Of a parson that last week got up here; 
 Their commerce measures the jilanet's girth 
 And fetches fruit from the ends of the earth; 
 While here — no improvement — method the same 
 As years gone by, when you and I came — 
 The same old grass, the same old gates, 
 The same old croon of the same old mates. 
 The same old speech to the folks sent down. 
 The same old halo, the same old crown, 
 The same old sermons, the same old prayers, 
 The same old hymns up the same old stairs ; 
 All things exactly as they were then. 
 And will be Avorld without end. Amen! 
 The worst of it, Peter, is this — you knoAV 
 That all the inventors have gone Below. 
 And taken their traps, tools, jiggers, and things. 
 Their dynamos, wheels, and sprockets and rings, 
 Their graphs and ineters and scopes and phones, 
 For measuring molecules, spectra, tones. 
 And that with these, and machines in accord, 
 The lost ones seek their simple reward. 
 Machines that swift as lightning run; 
 Machines that paint with the brush of the sun; 
 Machines that fi'y with splendid cars; 
 Machines that measure and weigh the stars ; 
 Machines that laugh, and talk, and sing; 
 Machines tbat ai'f \\\) to excrything — 
 With these to instruct, assist, beguile. 
 They've fixed up hell in hrst-rate style." 
 
 " lio ! ho ! " said Peter, " my friend, I guess 
 II' worst comes to M-orst. that we can ]n'0gress; 
 If these inventors sucli miracli's do. 
 Wliat hind(Ts our having mafbiiu'ry. too? 
 For you rem;>mlier. Fve often said 
 'I'liat competition's the life of trade. 
 
SOME RECENT POEMS. 339 
 
 They've stuffed and fooled you, though, about 
 
 The sun as an artist — that I doubt; 
 
 And he that tells of talk on a wire — 
 
 I venture to guess that man's a liar. 
 
 But we might try with possible gain 
 
 The anesthetics that conquer pain, 
 
 A carpet-sweeper in place of the broom, 
 
 A sewing-machine, and a patent loom. 
 
 Electric cars with velvet seats. 
 
 A sweeping-machine for the golden streets, 
 
 A gas retort for our light and fire. 
 
 And an organ back of the harpers' choir. 
 
 ril change my plans and stop to-day 
 
 The first contraption that comes this way." 
 
 A space was Gateman Gabriel mute. 
 
 Then shifted his weight to his other foot, 
 
 And, shading his eyes with his dexter wing, 
 
 Said : " Up the road is coming a thing — • 
 
 On a single leg 't is hopping along, 
 
 Without a bridle or bit or thong; 
 
 With a double head and a crooked neck. 
 
 And some one adrift on the upper deck — 
 
 Some one, I say — whether woman or man. 
 
 Perhaps you can tell — I'm hanged if I can." 
 
 That moment the stranger, silent as fate, 
 Dismounted in front of the goldeii gate. 
 He said, " Good morning," and wiped his brow, 
 And added, " I'm almost sorry now — 
 You way is so narrow, crooked, and hard — 
 T didn't take a spin on the boulevard. 
 I hear that all the way down and back 
 They've got a lovely asphaltum track." 
 
 "Morning!" said Peter. "Is thrt a mill 
 Or a curious beast you rode up hill ? " 
 
340 SOME RECENT POEMS. 
 
 The visitor answered : " The forge's birth, 
 A bicycle, jDopular on the earth." 
 
 "Aha!" good Peter replied. "That's queer; 
 We're introducing improvements here. 
 This horse is something that ought to be tried ; 
 'F you like, 111 take him and go inside." 
 
 " You do me proud," said the tourist grim. 
 As he thought : " This makes me solid with him.' 
 And Peter seized on the handle straight, 
 Dragged the thing in, and closed the gate. 
 
 They waited and chatted, the two outside. 
 And wished they could see the novice ride. 
 They heard approving applause, and then 
 Encouraging cries of " Try it again ! " 
 They heard the yells of the joyous throng, 
 The harps that twanged uncommonly strong, 
 The choir, whose mournful psalms and slow 
 Went skipping to lively and allegro ; 
 But heard naught else, for an hour or so, 
 When the gate of gold was open swung. 
 And to that hapless bicycle clung 
 A Ijattered angel, who gave it a shove, 
 But seemed so lame ho could liarflly move. 
 Two teeth were gone, he had bruised his b.cad, 
 One ear just hung l)y a crimson thread; 
 His wings were mussed, his knees were bare 
 As a piper's, and there was grass in his hair. 
 He shed one tear, be heaved one sigh, 
 TluMi cast on the stranger a rueful (\ve. 
 And merely said, witb surrowl'id mien. 
 "You CO to hell with vour old niacliine!" 
 
SOME EECENT POEMS. 341 
 
 THE WAIL OF THE UNSATISFIED. 
 
 A pensive iiiaiden gently moaned, " Ah, me ! 
 
 It can not, can not be 
 That no Heaven is where recompense is wrought, 
 Where time is lost in one eternal span, 
 Where Hope finds fruitage in the perfect plan, 
 Where wickedness is stayed and wisdom taught — 
 For justice then were nought." 
 
 A youth his glance upon a mirror cast 
 And sighed, " Such grace will last. 
 I see the truth of what the preachers say : 
 I am a noble, splendid, perfect thing, 
 Quite godlike and not made for perishing — 
 These charms must shine in Heaven's immortal ray, 
 Through one eternal day ! " 
 
 A dying man I saw and heard him groan, 
 
 " The next life shall atone ! 
 This pain shall be forgot in yonder skies; 
 
 The wrong that harries and torments us here 
 Shall perish in God's luminous atmosphere; 
 Justice shall triumph when this soul shall rise 
 And soar to Paradise ! " 
 
 I heard a heavy-laden dray-horse say, 
 
 " Alack ! alack-a-day ! 
 Some Heaven there is as every horse agrees, 
 \Miere, all uncuml^ered of life's weary load. 
 And spared the cruel bit, the lash, the goad, 
 We shall be free to wander where we please 
 Through clover-beds of ease ! " 
 
3i2 SOME EECEXT POEMS. 
 
 I heard a vivisected fox-hoiind cry 
 
 "Ah ! wliat a martyr I ! 
 But just beyond the grave tliere is a place 
 
 Where mortals shall be spared life's bitter cup, 
 And pain and pleasure shall be evened up — 
 Where foxes shall ))e furnished for the chase 
 In one eternal race ! " 
 
 I saw a fox, Avounded unto the death, 
 That whined, with latest breath, 
 " To Eeynard Heaven, beyond the veil, I go 
 Where hounds, to Hades banished, chase us not, 
 Where horns of hateful huntsmen are forgot. 
 Where homes of fowls nor locks nor palings know, 
 And chickens roost them low ! " 
 
 I heard a hen cluck with her dying voice, 
 
 " Though tortured, I rejoice ! 
 I fly unto celestial meadows fair, 
 
 Where murderous foxes never come to slay 
 Xor ax announces dread Thanksgiving Day, 
 And Ijugs are savory and tender there 
 And nice Avorms everywhere ! '' 
 
 I heard ten tliousand maple buds coini)lain. 
 
 Torn by the April rain, 
 " That this is final death can never be ! 
 The ' law of Nature ' we sul)limely scorn 
 That hath for us no resurrection morn — 
 What mockery, if some other l)ud than we 
 Shall rear the perfect tree! " 
 
 And tlii'ii 1 heard a sage: '" Our lowly birth 
 Was redolent oi" earth — 
 
 On I' cDiiseiousness may end as it began : 
 \A'lio has assun^l us we shall live again 
 Till pleasure shall b\- uieasure eiiual iiain? 
 
SOME EECENT POEMS. 343 
 
 Why should we dream that Nature keeps for man 
 Some reimbursement phm? 
 
 " The fanciful equation is beyond 
 
 Great Reason's pledge and bond. 
 I have had more of life than was my meed. 
 And kept some sweet babe tarrying for me ; 
 iVll pardon crave I for delinquency^ 
 And wave farewell — bidding the child, indeed, 
 Good-morrow and good-speed ! " 
 
 FEOM OUR MIXISTER-IN-CHINA. 
 
 Dear lowans : Friends and Fellows : 
 
 I'm at home among the Yellows, 
 
 In the oriental inner 
 
 Sanctuary of the sinner. 
 
 I their confidence have got 
 
 (And some other things I wot — 
 
 We arc Christians, and should I)e then 
 
 Quick to prey and " spoil the heathen.") 
 
 Cordially I greet you — very — 
 
 Minister and missionary. 
 
 Conger, Plenipotentiary, 
 
 Envoy Extraordinary. 
 
 I'm at home. I have completely 
 Played the "brother" racket neatly; 
 With a gospel text I reach them. 
 What is theirs is mine, 1 teach them. 
 We need help ? Oh. no ! For we 
 Always help ourselves, you see ! 
 We have Faith at the legation 
 And take thiuQ-s — with resi.<ination ! 
 
344 SOME KECENT POEMS. 
 
 Fellow patriots ! I am merry — 
 Blithe and browner than a berry — 
 Minister and missionary, 
 Conger, Plenipotentiary ! 
 Envoy Extraordinary ! 
 
 We have busted Dagon's temples. 
 Of the loot we send some samples : 
 Chinese gods from private houses — 
 (How our wrath the sight arouses!) 
 Tigers, griffins manifold, 
 Conger eels in bronze and gold, 
 Household treasures of such beauty 
 That to swipe them seemed a duty, 
 Altar for the Presbytery 
 Erom a Buhhhist sanctuary. 
 Cannon from the adversary. 
 Silver peacocks, millinery. 
 Pictures, screens and statuary, 
 Pekin punch and Tartar sherry, 
 I'm my own apothecary. 
 Minister and missionary, 
 Conger, Plenipotentiary, 
 Envoy Extraordinary ! 
 
 THE WAY THAT FUXSTOX FOUGHT. 
 
 Last night 1 met great Washington 
 
 Amid tlic Jersey snow. 
 As timidly and tlioughtfully 
 
 He faced lb(> Hessian foe, 
 He said " TIum'c must be otlicr ways ; 
 
 This fighting is too slow. 
 
SOME RECENT POEMS. 345 
 
 " We have advanced and fallen back 
 
 Full many a weary mile; 
 My men are brave, and I am sly ; 
 
 I'll do a deed of guile : 
 They say I cannot tell a lie — • 
 
 Why, Martha ! I should smile ! 
 
 " Courage is very well, young man, 
 
 But cunning I prefer; 
 And when I sit me down to j^lot 
 
 Against the enemy, sir. 
 Some funny things, as like as not. 
 
 Are liable to occur. 
 
 " Lord Howe at Bugby's Tavern rests — 
 
 He and a hundred Dutch — 
 I'll march in the disguise of friend 
 
 And get him in my clutch, 
 By exercise of forgery 
 
 And perjury and such." 
 
 He sat him down and bit his quill, 
 
 And wrote as he had planned : 
 " My lord, I come in loyal faith 
 
 To clasp your good right hand. 
 And bring a thousand British troops 
 
 To strengthen your command. 
 
 " Instruct your scouts and sentinels 
 
 To hail us with acclaim.'' 
 Great Washington ! 0, villain deed 
 
 Of perfidy and shame ! 
 Without a blush he to the screed 
 
 Signed Benedict Arnold's name. 
 
 To Howe the friendly note was sent. 
 '' Though critic tono'ues should wau\'' 
 
34:6 SOME KECEXT POEMS. 
 
 Said Washington, " all fraud is right 
 
 Such lofty game to bag — 
 We '11 march in British uniforms 
 
 Beneath a British flag." 
 
 So said, so done. In masquerade 
 
 They gaily took the track 
 That unto Bugby's Tavern led, 
 
 Disguised for the attack — 
 A thousand red-coats all in line 
 
 Beneath the Union Jack. 
 
 The days Avere bleak ; the way was hard ; 
 
 The destined end remote; 
 The food was gone; when Washington 
 
 Sat calmly down and wrote 
 To Howe — 0, Ananias, hear I — 
 
 Another friendly note. 
 
 " My lord," it ran, " no food remains 
 
 For my heroic band ; 
 We starve, and in King George's name 
 
 We crave thy helping hand — 
 Send succor, quick and ample, or 
 
 We |)erish where we stand." 
 
 He laughed, tlie Continentals say. 
 When he laid down his pen — 
 
 The only time he ever laughed. 
 As testified ; and then 
 
 He iinurislu'd undci'iicnl li the prayer 
 B. ArnoldV name again. 
 
 Lord Howe res]innded witli su])])lies — 
 
 A ton, as all agree; 
 A thousand rel)el red-coats gorged 
 
 Witlinut or rav or fee. 
 
SOME TiECEXT POEMS. 347 
 
 And Washington, — spectators say 
 He ate enough for three. 
 
 And when the column had its hll, 
 
 He nuide a little speech : 
 " Now, boys,"' he said, '' the battle-held 
 
 Ain't any place to preach; 
 We 're going now to grab the man 
 
 Who 's saved the life of each. 
 
 " Load up with ball and cartridge, l)oys ; 
 
 Lord Howe shall make amends; 
 We "11 surely kill or capture him 
 
 Before this hard day ends. 
 We '11 take him l)y surprise, because 
 
 Y\e come to him as friends. 
 
 " Now, forward, by the right flank, march ! 
 
 We surely can't be beat ; 
 I am ' B. x4rnold ' — that's a trick 
 
 Which I think very neat. 
 I 'd always rather forge than fight, 
 
 And rather lie than eat." 
 
 They marched. The Brisish liag they bore 
 
 Upon the air to fling. 
 The rebels in their scarlet coats 
 
 Passed down with pompous swing, 
 And all the brass bands' brazen throats 
 
 Sang out " God save the King ! " 
 
 I shuddered at the things I saw 
 
 But scarcely understood. 
 I heard a voice " The moral law 
 
 Admits of turpitude ; 
 There is no right Init strenuous might 
 
 And fraud alraio is p'ood."' 
 
548 SOME RECENT POEMS. 
 
 The breath was stifled in my throat 
 My fright was so extreme; 
 
 An ogre sat upon my breast, 
 But in the morning's beam 
 
 I shook it off and woke. It was 
 A vile disgusting dream. 
 
 CABLE FROM KITCHENER. 
 
 Hi exceedingly regret 
 
 That I ham obliged to state 
 That the barbarous De Wet 
 
 'As got through the mountain gate. 
 But the Yorkshires, though their mission 
 
 Hended swiftly in defeat, 
 Eound no serious hopposition 
 
 To an 'urdle-race retreat. 
 
 Hi regret to be compelled 
 
 To report from Rietfontein 
 Our position wasn't eld 
 
 Because several men was slain. 
 With lO.UOO Boers for foemen. 
 
 You perceive at once, hof course 
 Our 300,000 3-eomen 
 
 You Avill "ave to re-enforce. 
 
 Make the mulish Boers atone 
 
 For the war they brought about — 
 Burn the women's 'ouses down ! 
 
 Hunt the chiMrciiI Starve 'em bout! 
 Wring the '(Mi'ts of fathers, brothers. 
 
 Sons and l()\ers. night and day; 
 Take the food from babes and mothers 
 
 Teach 'cm that 's the British wav! 
 
SOME TtECENT POEMS. 349 
 
 With amazin' iiimbleness, 
 
 And with courage hall aglow, 
 We 'ave "ad immense success 
 
 In escapin' from the foe. 
 'T is by hevery uum conceded 
 
 That we 're ready to be shot 
 In the last ditch — hif it's needed — 
 
 But distinctly rawther not. 
 
 Hi am proud to testify 
 
 To the gallantry of heach 
 British soldier; they will die, 
 
 If required to, in the breach; 
 Oh, their port and pluck are splendid ! 
 
 But, as hi remarked before 
 You may 'ave before its bended, 
 
 To send 20,000 more ! 
 
 BULLEE TO BULL. 
 
 " The escape of Dundonald's cavahy from the Boers is des- 
 cribed in the one cablegram received from Bnller to-day as a 
 'successful retreat.'" — London dispatch, January 29. 
 
 We yesterday frightened the foe; 
 
 A thing I shall never regret. 
 But I must let Chamberlain know 
 We ain't relieved Ladysmith yet. 
 Our harmy, w'icli never knew fear, 
 
 Performed a miraculous feat — 
 In spite of the lioers in the I'car, 
 It made a successful retreat ! 
 
 And Dundonald's 'orsemen, I 'ear. 
 
 Although they was mounted. Avas fleet — 
 In spite of the Boers in the rear, 
 They made a successful retreat ! 
 
350 SOME PiECENT POEMS. 
 
 We seen they had set us a trap 
 
 And baited it round and about, 
 And so to avoid a mishap, 
 
 We 'urried himniejiately out. 
 Our fire they hendeavored to draw. 
 
 But we cunningly scorned to attack — 
 'T would done your heyes good if you *d saw 
 The courage with w'ich we marched back. 
 Dundonald, 'e cared not a straw; 
 
 Of bravery showed 'e no lack. 
 'T would done your heyes good if you 'd saw 
 The courage with w'ich 'e marched back ! 
 
 I 'm crossing the river un'urt ; 
 
 We 've captured the bridge where we came. 
 W'ich 'ero 'as greatest desert 
 
 Hit might be hinvijus to name. 
 The Boers are behind in their ways — 
 
 Behind the Turk, Spaniard, and Euss, 
 And maybe behind the Malays — 
 But certainly close behind us. 
 
 They're slow and behind in their ways; 
 
 Behind the Hun, Dago, and Kuss, 
 And nuiybe behind the Malays — 
 But certainly close behind us ! 
 
 J0H:X BULL'S EXCUSE. 
 
 " In reference to my tele,L:,T;un of liie 2P,d. llio frin'Iit fever is so 
 railed only from i(s jiroiliicini;- ]iliysical symploins of fear. It 
 does not necessarily alfect tlie courage of tiiose attacked, tliougli 
 it temporarily incapacitates them." — Modder Eiver special in 
 T.oiKloii Post. 
 
 My soldiers at the Cape bar sick an" ailin" ; 
 No remedies, thev sav is to lie "ad ; 
 
SOME EECENT POEMS. 351 
 
 The beastly fit haceounts fer all their failin' — 
 They 've got the new fright-fever — got it bad ! 
 
 My barmy is a standin' bon the quiet, 
 
 The billness 'as disabled hevery lad ; 
 It hain't the plague, nor yet it hain't the diet — 
 
 They 've got the new fright-fever — got it bad ! 
 
 Xo fright, not fight. Hi would not be mistaken. 
 
 Their fightin' fever's lessened, let me add — 
 They wish to come back 'ome — they feel forsaken — 
 
 They 've got the new fright-fever — got it bad ! 
 
 At Spion Kop, Dundee, and Modder Eiver. 
 
 In khaki-puttee uniform or plaid, 
 Our'eroes is a shakin' in a shiver — 
 
 They 've got the new fright-fever — got it bad ! 
 
 It hain't at hall their courage that is lackin' ; 
 
 They 're braver than a lion when it 's mad ; 
 It "s this disease that makes 'em keep a backin' — 
 
 They 've got the new fright-fever — got it bad ! 
 
 Just like that nawsty mesmerism — horrid I — 
 It fills 'em full of feelm's that is sad — 
 
 Disables heavry squad from trekin' forred-- 
 They 've got the new fright-fever — got it bad ! 
 
 It hain't the doctors needed, nor the nurses, 
 
 Xir yet the quinine pill or liver-pad. 
 This malady haceounts for hall reverses — • 
 
 They 've got the new fright-fever — got it bad ! 
 
352 SOME EECEXT POEMS. 
 
 LIBERTY. 
 
 Sung at the Pro-Boer Mass-Meetings. Air: "America." 
 
 Thrice-glorious Liberty — 
 Thou mak'st the nations free — 
 
 To thee we sing. 
 Where'er thy martyr dies 
 'Neath Afric's sunny skies. 
 Once more, arise ! arise ! 
 
 Thy succor bring. 
 
 Thy twin republics bless; 
 0;, solace their distress ! 
 
 Be thou their stay. 
 Where, o'er the shining sands. 
 With outstretched, bloody hands. 
 Assassin England stands 
 
 Above her prey. 
 
 Keep Kruger's hero band ; 
 Keep all his chosen land 
 
 Along the Yaal : 
 Walk by the widow's side. 
 Be thou the orphans' guide; 
 May they in faith abide — 
 
 0, keep them all ! 
 
 Watch thou with Joubert's soul, 
 Nor (loul)t the final goal; 
 
 "Ring loud the kucll 
 Of tyranny and wrong ; 
 Make Farmer Botlia strong, 
 And sing thy joyful song 
 
 In Cronje's cell ! 
 
SOME RECENT POEMS. 353 
 
 IK THE TEANSVAAL. 
 
 Fighting for th}^ harried land, 
 
 Oom Paul! 
 Leader of a patriot band, 
 
 Oom Paul! 
 Fearless we behold thee stand 
 Where the crowned assassin's hand 
 Crimsons all thy peaceful strand, 
 
 Oom Paul ! Oom Paul ! 
 
 Freedom's cause is ours and thine, 
 
 Oom Paul ! 
 Ecce signum ! 'T is the sign ! 
 
 Oom Paul ! 
 Though the powers of hell comlDine, 
 In that blessed cause divine 
 Draw the sword and fire the mine, 
 
 Oom Paul ! Oom Paul ! 
 
 For ourselves, we plead to thee, 
 
 Oom Paul ! 
 To no tyrant bend the knee, 
 
 Oom Paul ! 
 Every blow for liberty, 
 By the far-off southern sea 
 Helps to make the nations free, 
 
 Oom Paul ! Oom Paul ! 
 
 By the sword thy fathers drew, 
 
 Oom Paul ! 
 By the hireling hordes they slew, 
 
 Oom" Paul ! 
 As the freedom-loving few 
 Spurned the despot's myriad crew, 
 
354 SOME EECENT POEMS. 
 
 To their oaths and hojDes be true, 
 Oom Paul ! Oom Paul ! 
 
 Sing the battle-hymn of yore, 
 
 Oom Paul ! 
 Kiss the flag thy fathers bore, 
 
 Oom Paul! 
 Chase the butchers to the shore; 
 Bathe thy falchion in their gore. 
 Bury them where breakers roar, 
 
 Oom Paul ! Oom Paul ! 
 
 WITH CLAEK. 
 
 The songs of June were in the sky, 
 Its fragrance on the winds, when I 
 Started one morn from home on my 
 
 Midsummer lark. 
 Three months old Europe's air to try — 
 
 I went with Clark. 
 
 O'er ISTeptune's realm, through Erin's strand. 
 Across St. Andrew's moistened land, 
 To where St. George the vista spanned 
 
 With mead and Park, 
 Moved on our ha])])y tourist band — 
 
 We went with Clark. 
 
 Paris — its grandeur and its glee — 
 The A1])S that made tlie Switzer free — 
 Fair Venice, lifting o'er tlie sea 
 
 The domes of Mark. 
 Naples, its crater and its flea 
 
 AVe saw with Clark. 
 
SOME EECENT POEMS. 355 
 
 All generous nature seemed to smile — 
 Erom mountain peak and grassy isle — 
 As day by day and mile by mile 
 
 From dawn to dark. 
 O'er Ehine, Po, Tiber, Jordan, Nile, 
 
 We strayed with Clark. 
 
 wondrous tour ! golden da3's 
 That set our feet in ancient ways ! 
 How much the happy hour allays 
 
 Of care and cark 
 And turns the genial heart to praise — 
 
 We Avent with Clark. 
 
 A"^ guide, philosopher and friend ! " 
 May some such helpful soul attend 
 And Fate such gracious service send 
 
 When I embark 
 With Charon at my journey's end. 
 
 As when with Clark. 
 
 WITH GEL AT.* 
 
 Friendly word in starting 
 From the shrine we're at; 
 
 Here's our hand at parting, 
 Boniface Gelat. 
 
 Admirable tal)le. 
 
 Wine and fruit galore, 
 
 Camels in the stable, 
 Donkeys at the door. 
 
 Spacious rooms and airy. 
 
 Order without fuss. 
 
 On leavine; the liotel in Jerusalem for liome. 
 
356 SOME EECENT POEMS. 
 
 Clean white beds with nary 
 Occupant but us. 
 
 Eefuge from abomi- 
 
 Nable fluid stuff, 
 Sweet rain filtered from a 
 
 Tank upon the roof. 
 
 Drop the inventory ; 
 
 Meagre 'tis, I " guess," 
 One word tells the story — 
 
 Comfortableness. 
 
 Comfort so impeding. 
 We, at end of sta}^, 
 
 Find it most exceeding 
 Hard to get away. 
 
 Brief the blest embargo; 
 
 Till we see 3'our hat 
 (Fez) in fair Chicago, 
 
 Au revoir, Gelat ! 
 
 SAEATOGA'S FOUNTAIN OF LIFE. 
 
 Dear Bob, come here ! Drop everything 
 
 And turn your face the river up ; 
 Come here and quaff at Hathorn spring — 
 
 Come here and stir your liv(M- up! 
 Come tipple at the Indian lank 
 
 Wliere all your conversation ])oints 
 To the laf^t bumper that you drank 
 
 And ends in exclamation points. 
 
SOME EECENT POEMS. 357 
 
 Now Bob, don't dawdle ! Hurry ujd ! 
 
 Jump right aboard the night express. 
 And haste to sip the nectar cup 
 
 Whose merits I can't quite express, 
 A cup that cheers the langiud soul 
 
 Of visitor or denizen 
 And makes him oft renew the bowl 
 
 Of Nature's choicest benison. 
 
 Yes, brother, yes ! As you have heard, 
 
 You drink three Hathorn serial. 
 And feel like flying like a bird 
 
 Around the dome ethereal. 
 It cures dysjaepsia, headache, gout, 
 
 Insomnia and anxiety. 
 And turns your gizzard inside out 
 
 And fits you for society. 
 
 It braces up the fluttering heart; 
 
 It banishes torpidity; 
 It makes the peristalsis start, 
 
 And sweetens your acidity; 
 For jDutting tonics in the blood 
 
 It beats the pharmacopeia. 
 Come share with me the joyous flood 
 
 And I shall have some hope o' you ! 
 
 Fair Hygeia brews the draught divine 
 
 And Esculapius blesses it; 
 Come haste and sip the heavenly Avine 
 
 As Vulcan upward presses it ; 
 For when the Hathorn fountain laughs. 
 
 In spite of doubting Thomases 
 It fills with joy whoever quafl^s 
 
 And always keeps its promises. 
 
358 SOME EECENT POEMS. 
 
 IN 1899. 
 
 The Hebrides are off old Scotia's strand ; 
 
 Tlie "' blue Symplegades " that Byron sung, 
 And Sporades and Cyclades are fanned 
 
 By gentler gales, the Isles of Greece among. 
 " Eename me now ! " we hear free Cuba cry — 
 " Call me Cantharides — the Spanish fly ! " 
 
 NOTHING NEW UNDER THE SUN. 
 
 When Gutenberg and Faust arrayed 
 
 Their symbol types in line, 
 John Chinaman spoke up and said : 
 
 " The art has long been mine ; 
 My ancestors arranged them so 
 Some 20,000 years ago.'" 
 Yet minus books, in primal dark, 
 John sprawls his scrawl and makes his mark. 
 
 When Watt had Aveddod steel to steam 
 
 And made the bol)l)ins sing, 
 John Chinaman remarked : '" I deem 
 
 That trick an ancient thing; 
 The Flowery Land had such a show 
 Some 20,000 years ago." 
 And yet the whole Celestial band 
 Still spin, as Hagar did, by hand. 
 
 When Stcjilienson and Fulton tied 
 
 The ])iston to a wheel. 
 And round the cnrtli bade Commerce ride 
 
 With wings upon its heel, 
 
SOME KECENT POEMS. 359 
 
 John said : " My people traveled so 
 Some 20,000 years ago.'' 
 Yet still, as when the race began, 
 They ahvays tote the old sedan. 
 
 When Thought first learned the way to fly 
 
 On Morse's telegraph. 
 John shook his pigtail in reply. 
 
 Observing with a laugh : 
 " This thing to China made ko-tow 
 Some 20,000 years ago; 
 But talkee — talkee all about — 
 It was a bore ; we drove it out." 
 
 When Edison from Nature stole 
 
 Her secrets, one by one, 
 To Matter gave a tongue and soul. 
 
 To Night a blazing sun, 
 John said : " Our fathers used to know, 
 Some 20,000 years ago. 
 These miracles, but, useless quite. 
 We let them vanish out of sight." 
 
 When our big cannon sent a shell 
 
 Through miles a half a score, 
 John said : " That's tolerably well 
 
 For modern rifle bore; 
 But we made powder, don't you know. 
 Some 20,000 years ago ! " 
 Yet cross-bows China strung once more 
 To crush Japan in '9-1. 
 
 When Queen Chicago rose and spent 
 
 Her millions — royal sight ! 
 To show the world the continent 
 
 Columbus brought to light, 
 
360 SOME EECENT POEMS. 
 
 John said : " When we were out to row 
 
 Some 20,000 years ago. 
 
 We ran against Fu Sang one clay; 
 
 ' No good ' we found, and skipped away. 
 
 Say, John, 0, claimant, almond-eyed ! 
 
 There's one thing older far 
 Than Faustus' type and Morse's pride 
 
 And Fulton's magic car. 
 Than Taj Mahal and China's wall- 
 Yea, older, older far than all ; 
 They name this canting, shamming, sly 
 And hoary-headed thing — a Lie. 
 
 THE WOELD POWEE— A SOEEY 'UN. 
 
 A crocodile upon the Nile 
 
 Lay dreaming in the sun, 
 And monstrous fat and strong he gat, 
 
 And life was jolly fun. 
 For he was king from hank to hank, 
 And little 'gators ate and drank 
 And wiggled round Avith many a prank. 
 Because he held the conqueror's rank 
 
 And was afraid of none. 
 
 He winked an eye and heaved a sigh 
 And murmured " Wo is me ! 
 
 I long for more ! I'll go ashore ! 
 'Tis Destiny's decree. 
 
 Old jieaceful Nilus 1 command. 
 
 But I would hoss it on the huid — 
 
 I shall 1)0 sad till I expand. 
 
 And swipe what over conies id hand — 
 A World Power 1 will be ! " 
 
SOME EECENT POEMS. 361 
 
 A fragile boat he saw afloat, 
 
 And swallowed it straightway, 
 And said " I will climb up the hill 
 
 And hunt some nobler prey; 
 I'll kill the wild behemoth yet! 
 I would I had a dragon met ! " 
 Then up the bank he tried to get 
 To where the panting donkeys sweat 
 
 And starving camels lay. 
 
 He said "That Ijoat, I beg to note, 
 
 Was difficult to munch. 
 Though such a bit of food as it 
 
 I hesitate to crunch, 
 The Saurian's burden I must bear; 
 'Tis Providential I am here. 
 E'en though my diet be severe. 
 And r perhaps have had a mere 
 
 Torpedo for my lunch." 
 
 " Torpedo ! " Yes ; Ah, fatal guess ! 
 
 What grief was on his brow ! 
 For dynamite Avas in its tail, 
 
 And powder in its bow ! 
 He felt a fearsome stomach-ache; 
 He felt his mortal being shake ; 
 He felt his jaws and wish-1)one l)reak, 
 As he exj^loded with a quake, 
 
 And all his debris filled the Xile— 
 Where is that Saurian now? 
 
3(52 SOME EECENT POEMS. 
 
 DECIUS. 
 
 Deeds like years go round and round. 
 
 Ere the mighty Caesars came 
 
 Lo ! the hero's blood aflame, 
 And his brow with glory crowned! 
 
 Decius wrought a deed, they say, 
 
 Like this deed of yesterday. 
 
 " Decius ! " came the Sibyl's call. 
 " Thou must gave a life for Eome 
 And the holy shrines of home ; 
 
 Heed the summons, one for all ! 
 Noble Decius. thou must die, 
 Ere the host of Pyrrhus fly ! "' 
 
 Decius heard and laughed with glee 
 
 At the oracle divine ; 
 
 Drank the consecrated wine. 
 Cried " Ye Powers, accept of me ! " 
 
 Then, as loud the trumpets rang, 
 
 Down the battle's crater sprang. 
 
 How the host of Pyrrhus fled 
 As the autumn leaves amain 
 Scatter in the hurricane ! 
 
 Plow the gods, by Victory led, 
 Bore across the bloody field 
 Decius on a conqueror's shield ! 
 
 Ages to oblivion float. 
 
 When the Sil)yl calls lo-day 
 
 Off the Antillean bay 
 "Who will choke the harbor's throat?" 
 
 Eings voung Decius' quick replv 
 
 " I will do It ere I die ! " 
 
SOME EECENT POEMS. 3C;^ 
 
 Plunges down the flaming hell ; 
 
 Drinks the battle's fiery breath; 
 
 Calmly from the chasm of death 
 Comes the greeting, " All is well ! " 
 
 So we know, on sea or shore, 
 
 Decius lives for evermore. 
 
 THE FLOATING HEAESE. 
 
 The New York papers of Se]). 14, 1903, report the army trans- 
 port Kilpatrick arrived from the Philippines, 340 officers and men 
 of the United States Fiftli Infantry and twentj-six women on 
 her deck and 303 soldiers dead under the hatches. "' The voyage 
 was a merry one, for all had agreed to dismiss sorrow the day 
 they sailed for home. They stocked up with liquors at Singapore 
 and indulged in a ' Dutch dinner,' which would not bear repeti- 
 tion. There were two bands. They had suppers, dances, and 
 balls, punctuated with varied revelry, and tlie last Thursday 
 night got up a masquerade which surpassed the fondest expecta- 
 tions of its promoters." 
 
 She dipjDed her flag to the farewell gun 
 
 In the shade of the mango trees 
 And turned her prow to the setting sun 
 
 On the swell of the eastern seas, 
 And faces paled as she westward drove 
 
 In the light of the afterglow — 
 Three hundred stalking the deck above 
 
 And three hundred dead below. 
 
 " Xow let's 1)0 merry ! '' the ca})tain said ; 
 
 " We laugh at the skipper's curse — 
 The living must live though the dead lie dead. 
 
 So here's to the floating hearse ! 
 And here's to the dying that huddle in crowds 
 
 AVhere pestilent breezes blow. 
 
364 SOME EECENT POEMS. 
 
 And here's to the ghosts that grin in the shrouds, 
 And here's to the hoys helow ! 
 
 '^ Of course we are sorry for those beneath — 
 
 No mourners sadder than we — 
 But say what right has the tyrant Death 
 
 To stifle the shouts of glee? 
 Then bring forth beer and the Pomery sec 
 
 And the tipple of ancient Crow, 
 And drink to the fellows awake on deck 
 
 And the fellows asleep below ! " 
 
 They hear the brazen band rejoice 
 
 As the veterans homeward come — 
 And piccolo's pipe and cornet's voice 
 
 And flute and fiddle and drum — 
 They sing of treachery, torture, love, 
 
 And 2)lunder and raid and woe, 
 And a wild shriek comes from the spars above. 
 
 And a wail from the hold below. 
 
 "Now form quadrille!" is the merry call; 
 
 They sway as the prompter liids ; 
 " Now swing your partners — l)alance all ! " 
 
 Just over the coffin lids. 
 The shrouded listen beneath their feet 
 
 And whisper "■ A masquer's show ! " 
 And groans from above the dancers greet 
 
 And a lau2;h from the dead below. 
 
 J 
 
SOME EECENT POEMS. 
 
 365 
 
 A BUSHEL OF HOENETS. 
 
 Brigadier-General Allen. Chief af tlie American Constabulary 
 in the Philippines, in his annual report to the War Department, 
 declares that peace there is a long way off and that the 18,000 
 soldiers there in 1904 should be retained. 
 
 I shouted " Hello ! " to the farmer man. 
 
 And " Hello, stranger ! '' he yelled to me. 
 His hair was long and his face was tan^ 
 And through the thicket he wildly ran 
 
 And seemed to be chasinsr a bumble bee. 
 
 " Hey, there ! " I cried ; " Hold up. I say ! " 
 His nose was swelled, his eyes were sore; 
 
 " Can't stop ! Must gather a pint to-day ! " 
 
 He struck the air as in frenzied fray, 
 
 And gaily shouted, " I've got one more ! " 
 
 He halted a space and wiped his brow. 
 
 " What is it," I said, " that you so much prize ? " 
 " Hornets," he answered. " I'm keepin' a vow ! — 
 I see one — yip ! he's stung me now — 
 
 Condemn ! Goldern it ! Confound my eyes ! " 
 
 He stanched those orbs with his blue coat-tail 
 i\.nd swore in a faint and wheedling way. 
 And muttered aloud as he swung his pail, 
 '' They sting like fire, but I must not fail 
 To gather at least a pint to-day." 
 
 The stars on his breast were broAvn with rust; 
 
 The stripes on his legs were soiled full sore; 
 His long gray beard was a pouch of dust. 
 I said : " Old man, 3'ou are sane, I trust. 
 
 But why do you catch 'em, and why want more ? " 
 
366 SOME EECEXT POEMS. 
 
 He pulled a barbed sting out of his nose, 
 
 And his face turned red as he answered me, 
 " Kind Providence sent me to deal with those, 
 And so they've got to be caught, I s'pose — 
 The sacredest sort of duty," said he. 
 
 " But what," asked I, " are you trying to do ? " 
 
 He answered and wij)ed his bloodshot eye, 
 " Give liberty, stranger, tried and true. 
 To the barbarous hordes that I piirsue — 
 
 I'm bound to give 'em their freedom or die ! " 
 
 " They'd find it," I said, " if you'd depart." 
 " It wouldn't be the genuine thing," said he ; 
 
 " My duty is to teach 'em the art 
 
 Of making honey, to sell in the mart 
 And furnish vittles for them and me." 
 
 "Can you do that, farmer man?" 
 
 " I thought so, stranger, a year ago, 
 But now, I swun, don't know as I can. 
 These yellow divils opposin' the plan. 
 
 Each swingin' a red-hot poker, you know. 
 
 " There's some — right there ! " and he brushed his ear, 
 And he slapped his thigh where the hornets strayed. 
 
 And madly cried, " I'd hike out of here 
 
 Ef T wan"t sen red of the terrible fear 
 
 'Ut somebody'd say ' Uncle Sam's afraid ! " 
 
 "I ain't afraid. l»ut. as you say. 
 
 A costlier business can't be found ; 
 It's all outgo without any pay — 
 I sweat and woi'ry and fiiiiu> all day 
 
 A-chasin' these ])esky critters around. 
 
 "I don't Avant them ; they don't want me; 
 Tliey keep a-findin' out where I'm at ; 
 
SOME RECENT POEMS. 367 
 
 A bushel of hornets, as all agree, 
 Ain't worth as much as a single bee; 
 
 But folks might laugh — I can't stand that ! " 
 
 He waved his flag and he wiped his nose, 
 
 And his face was flushed as he turned to me, 
 " Kind Providence sent me to capture those, 
 No matter how much they may sting, I s'pose — 
 We're sort of catchin' each other ! " said he. 
 
 The stars on his breast were brown with rust; 
 
 The stripes on his legs were stained full sore ; 
 tlis long gray beard was a pouch of dust ; 
 I said : " Old man, 3'ou are sane, I trust, 
 
 But why do you catch 'em, and why want more ? " 
 
 THE OLD SCHOOLHOITSE. 
 
 The old red schoolhouse on the hill — 
 I see it wheresoe'er I go — 
 
 The forge, the brook, the singing mill 
 The lot where apple-blossoms blow, — 
 I smell their fragrance 3^et, although 
 
 New visions flit, as visions will. 
 
 Old Memory plays such tricks Avith me ! 
 Beyond the pomp of lettered men 
 
 And arrogance of art. I see 
 
 That teacher tall who comes again 
 With smile and kindly voice as when 
 
 I learned my letters at his knee. 
 
 "lAliene'er the smile his face forsook. 
 And loud he summoned to his side 
 
568 SOME EECEXT POEMS. 
 
 An urchin with neglected book. 
 
 Abundant love still conquered pride — 
 The lightness of his arm belied 
 
 The awful sternness of his look I 
 
 Above the turmoil of the chase, 
 
 The victim's groan, the victor's cheer, 
 
 The clang of Mammon's maddening race. 
 And Pleasure's laugh and Sorrow's tear, 
 Once more his gentle word I hear — 
 
 Once more I see his j^atient face. 
 
 New visions flit, as phantoms will : 
 The Parthenon and Hadrian's hall, 
 
 King David's tower, Siloam's rill, 
 
 And Memnon's lips and Karnac's wall ; 
 I see, behind and through them all, 
 
 The old red schoolhouse on the hill. 
 
 Beneath that hill the twilight hour 
 Fell on the smithv dark and low. 
 
 Where, syml)ol of mysterious power. 
 Our rustic Vulcan, blow on ])low. 
 Still wrought, his fiery arm aglow — 
 
 His hammer in a starry shower ! 
 
 The old red schoolhouse ! — 'round about, 
 A listening field of daisies Avhite 
 
 '\'^niose hearts responded to the shout 
 That told of jocund spirits light. 
 And thrilled with sweet regret at night 
 
 ^Yheu earth was still and sclionl was out! 
 
 In liiirrying throngs I often see 
 
 That master Avbom I idly praise — 
 (I learned my letters at his knee — ) 
 
SOME RECENT TOEMS. 369 
 
 And catch a glimpse in crowded ways 
 Of them who in the far-oft' da3^s 
 Sat on the lowest bench with me. 
 
 And one was there whose sacred kiss, 
 
 Seal of a sister's loving heart, 
 My yonng step led from aught amiss — 
 
 Fair child of Nature's artless art, 
 
 Now sleeping in the field apart — 
 Sweet acre of the Silences. 
 
 So Fancy plays her tricks with me ! 
 While that old schoolhouse on the hill 
 
 Forever anchored seems to be, 
 
 New visions fade as phantoms will. 
 And that friend, kind and patient — still 
 
 I learn my lessons at his knee. 
 
 THE OLD HOME DAYS. 
 
 Old stone door-step ! Blessings on you ! You have suf- 
 fered no " repair." 
 
 Greetings! Blessings! I'd have known you if I'd met 
 you anywhere ! 
 
 Sixty years and more have faded since you anchored by 
 the door 
 
 Where the Avide back porch was shaded by the ancient 
 sycamore 
 Waving soft through memory's haze, 
 In the dear home days. 
 
 Old stone door-step, I recall you ! Father found you on 
 
 the hill. 
 And he said, " By George ! I'll haul you where a'ou'II 
 
 make a noble sill. 
 
70 SOME EECEXT POEMS. 
 
 Summat rough, but might be rougher; 'nough sight 
 
 smoother 'n me I guess, 
 All of us that toil and suffer, must be wrinkled more or 
 less." 
 That was just like father's ways 
 In the old home days. 
 
 So he hitched the oxen to you in the path the water wore, 
 Slowly slew you 'round and drew you to the ojoen kitchen 
 
 door. 
 Where the crowbar made you worry, and the heavy iron 
 
 mace — 
 And I laughed to see you hurry as you wriggled into place. 
 And he said, " I'll bet it stays ! "" 
 In the old home days ! 
 
 And 3^ou stayed, 0, stair of granite, of our home and life 
 
 a part ; 
 Not a throne upon the planet touches so the truant heart. 
 As fond memory backward glances through the lal)yrintli 
 
 of 3'ears, 
 'Bound thee troop the pictured fancies mid the laughter 
 and the tears. 
 And we thread the tangled maze 
 To the old home days ! 
 
 0, the orchard and the garden, and the elms arrayed in 
 
 state ; 
 Still one giant, lilce a warden, towers l)esi(le the ojien gate! 
 How he captured us and swung us — 0. the mad and inerry 
 
 wight — 
 Through the tangled liranches flung us till avc shouted 
 wilh delight f 
 tltc joyance of the i)lays. 
 In tlie long houie days! 
 
 Peaceful hours ! The twilight shadows of the harvest 
 evening gray 
 
SOME KECENT POEMS. 371 
 
 Brought the blossoms of the meadows in the odors of the 
 
 ha}', 
 And the cows from out the clover tinkled that the day was 
 
 done. 
 And the bees went droning over with their golden armor 
 on — 
 Through the sunset's fading rays 
 In the sweet home days ! 
 
 Hung above you on the trellis were the concords in the 
 
 dew, 
 Growing sweeter for the chalice as the jocund summer flew, 
 And you heard the water tumble where the river breaks in 
 
 twain, 
 And the rumble and the gruml)le of the grinding of the 
 grain. 
 And you watched each changing phase 
 Of the old home days ! 
 
 Dear old door-step ! the j^rances of the children on the 
 
 grass. 
 And the gambols and the dances of the laughing lad and 
 
 lass, 
 And the songs we sung and chanted as the hours of even- 
 ing sped ! 
 0, the sacred spot is haunted with the faces of the dead, 
 And the echoes of the lays 
 Sung in old home days. 
 
 Memories throng. The heart is SAvelling till the pain has 
 
 found relief; 
 Holy Sorrow's pearls are welling from the blessed fount of 
 
 grief. 
 For tlie music hushed and banished, for the voices round 
 
 the door 
 And the footprints that have vanished from the path for- 
 
 evermore. 
 As through blinding mists we gaze. 
 Toward the old home davs ! 
 
WRITINGS OF W. A. CROFFUT, PH. D. 
 
 History of Connecticut 
 During the Rebellion. 
 891 pages ; 58 illustra- 
 tions. Price $5. Led- 
 yard Bill, New York, 
 publisher, 1869. 
 Helping Hand eor Ameri- 
 can Homes. Introduc- 
 tion by Horace Greeley. 
 821 pages; 117 illustra- 
 tions. Price $4. Wil- 
 staoli & Co., Cincinnati, 
 publishers, 1870. 
 Bourbon Ballads ; Humor- 
 ous Political Songs. 
 100 pages. N. Y. Trib- 
 une, 1881. Second edi- 
 tion. 20 cents. 
 Deseret, or a Saint's Af- 
 flictions. An opera. 
 Music by Dudley Buck. 
 First produced in Brook- 
 lyn and New York, 1880. 
 A Midsummer Lark (verse). Henry Holt & Co., publishers, 
 1883. (Leisure Hour Series, No. 150.) Pp. 270. Price $1.25. 
 The Vanderbilts and the Story of Their Fortune. Belford, 
 Clarke & Co., publishers. New York and Chicago. Pp. 325. 
 Price $1.50. 
 The Prophecy, and Other Poems. Lovell Bros., New York, 
 
 publishers. Pp. 180. Price 50 cents. 
 The Lord's Day — Or Man's? A public discussion of ^the Sunday 
 question with Rev. Byron Sunderland, D. D. Introduc- 
 tion by Col. Robertt G. Ingersoll. The Truth Seeker, New 
 York, publisher, 1897. Pp. 152. Price 25 cents. 
 The Open Gate of Dreamland. A treatise on hypnotism. North 
 
 American Review, 1888. 
 Pamphlets: St. Peter's Mistake; Religion in Our Colonies; 
 A Sea-Gull ; Remarkable Funeral Service ; Gods and Other 
 Ghosts; Faith and Fraud — ^the Holy Sepulchre; The Crimes 
 of Johovah ; What in Place of Religion ; An Apology for 
 Allegories; Messiah, Man or Myth? The Truth Seeker, 
 New York City, publisher. 
 Fifty Years in Camp and Field. From the diary of Major 
 General Ethan Allen Hiitchcock, through three iwars. Pp. 
 690. In press. $3. 
 Folks Next Door. With recent topical poems. Washington, 
 
 1905. $2. 
 Labor's Riddle Guessed At. A dialogue. In press. 
 A Historical Novel. In press. 
 
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