DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS Partial List off Successful and Popular Plays. Large Catalogue Free. Price 15c each. Postpaid, Unless Different Price Is Given DRAMAS, COMEDIES, ENTERTAINMENTS, Etc, M. F. Aaron Boggs, Freshman, 3 acts, ZYi hrs (25c) 8 8 Abbu ban of Old Japan, 2 acts, 2 hrs (25c) 15 After the Game, 2 acts, 1J4 hrs (25c) 1 9 All a Mistake, 3 acts, 2 hrs. (25c) 4 4 All on Account of Polly, 3 acts, 2Vi hrs (25c) 6 10 American Hustler, 4 acts, 2 l / 2 hrs (25c) 7 4 As a Woman Thinketh, 3 acts, 2% hrs (25c) 9 7 At the End of the Rainbow, 3 acts, 2% hrs (25c) 6 14 Bank Cashier, 4 acts, 2 lira! (25c) 8 4 Black Heifer, 3 acts, 2 h. (25c) 9 3 Boy Scout Hero, 2 acts, VA hrs. (25c) 17 Brookdale Farm, 4 acts, 2 l /± hrs (25c) 7 3 Brother Josiah, 3 acts, 2 hrs. (25c) 7 4 Burns Rebellion, 1 hr (25c) 8 5 Busy Liar, 3 acts, 2y x h. (25c) 7 4 Civil Service, 3 acts, 2 1 /! hrs. (25c) 6 5 College Town, 3 acts, 2^ hrs (25c) 9 8 Danger Signal, 2 acts, 2 hrs. . 7 4 Daughter of the Desert. 4 acts, 2J4 hrs (25c) 6 4 Deacon Dubbs, 3 acts, 2% hrs. (25c) 5 5 Deacon Entangled, 3 acts, 2 hrs. (25c) ..6 4 Down in Dixie, 4 acts, 2 '4 hrs , (25c) 8 4 Dream That Came True, 3 acts, 2'4 hrs (25c) 6 13 Editor-in-Chief, 1 hr (25c) 10 Enchanted Wood, 1 3.$ h.(35c).Optnl. Everyyouth, 3 acts, \y 2 h. (25c) 7 6 Face at the Window, 3 acts, 2 hrs >(25c) 4 4 Fun on the PoUunk Limited, iy 2 hrs (25c) 9 14 Heiress of Hoetown, 3 acts, 2 hrs (25c) 8 4 Her Honor, the Mayor, 3 acts, 2 hrs. (25c) 3 5 High School Freshman, 3 acts, 2 hrs (25c) 12 Honor of a Cowbov, 4 acts, 2^> his '. (25c) 13 4 Indian Days, 1 hr (50c) 5 2 In Plum Valley, 4 acts, 2% hit (25c) 6 4 Iron Hand, 4 acts, 2 his. . (25c) 5 4 Jayyille Junction, \y 2 hrs. (25c) 14 17 Kicked Out of College, 3 acts, 2% hrs (25c) 10 9 Kingdom of Heart's Content, 3 acts, 2J4 hrs (25c) 6 12 Laughing Cure, 2 acts, 1^4 hrs. (25c) 4 5 Lexington, 4 acts, 2J4 h..(25c) 9 4 Little Buckshot, 3 acts, 2% hrs. (5c) 7 4 Lodge of Kye Tyes, 1 hr.(25c)13 Man from Borneo, 3 acts, 2 hrs. " (25c) 5 2 Mirandy's Minstrels. ... (25c) Optn! Mrs. Tubbs of Shantytown, 3 acts, 214 hrs (25c) 4 7 New Woman, 3 acts, 1 hr.... 3 6 Old Maid's Club, IK hrs. (25c) 2 16 Old Oaken Bucket, 4 acts, 2 hrs (25c) 8 6 Old School at Hick'ry Holler, 154 hrs (25c) 12 9 On the Little Big Horn, 4 acts, 21/2 hrs (25c) 10 4 Out in the Streets, 3 acts, 1 hr. 6 4 Parlor Matches, 2 acts, V/ 2 hrs. (25c) 4 5 Poor Married Man, 3 acts, 2 hrs (25c) 4 4 1 Prairie Rose, 4 acts, 2Y 2 h.(25c) 7 4 Rummage Sale, 50 min 4 10 Rustic Romeo, 2 acts, 2>4 hrs (25c) 10 12 Savageland, 2 acts, 2]/ 2 hrs. (50c) 5 5 School Ma'am, 4 acts, 1)4 hrs. 6 5 Scrap of Paper, 3 acts, 2 hrs.. 6 6 Sewing for the Heathen, 40 min. 9 Southern Cinderella, 3 acts, 2 hrs (25c) 7 Star Bright, 3 acts, 2y h. C5c> 6 5 Teacher, Kin I Go Home? 2 scenes, 35 min 7 3 Those Dreadful Twins, 3 acts, 2 hrs (25c) 6 4 Thread of Destiny, 3 acts. 2^ hrs (25c) 9 16 Tony, the Convict, 5 acts. 2K hrs (25c) 7 4 Town Marshal, 4 acts, 2 V x hrs (25c) 6 3 Trial of Hearts, 4 acts, 2J4 hrs. (25c) 6 18 Trip to Storvland, Hi hrs. (25c) 17 23 Uncle Josh, 4 acts, 2% hrs. (25c) 8 3 Under Blue Skies, 4 acts. 2 hrs (25c) 7 10 Under the Laurels, 5 acts. 2 hrs. 6 4 When the Circus Came to Town, 3 acts, 2^ hrs. (25c) 5 3 T.S.DENISON&COMPANY,Publishers,154W.RandolphSt., Chicago THE STREET FAKER A LAUGHING PRESCRIPTION CONCOCTED BY HARRY L. NEWTON AUTHOR OF 'All on Account of Polly" "The Corner Drug Store" "Every youth* "The Goodfellow," "Good Mornin' Judge" "The Heiress of Hoetown" "Jayville Junction" "The Little Red School House" "Teacher Kin I Go Home?" "When the Circus Came to Town" "Some Vaudeville Monologues" etc. CHICAGO S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers THE STREET FAKER CHARACTERS. "Doc" Sweetwater An Enticer of Money. Smudge Enticed from Home. Hi Grass Willing to be Enticed. Time — This Evening. Place — Some Town. Time of Playing — About Fifteen Minutes. COSTUMES AND CHARACTERS. "Doc" Sweetwater — A typical street faker. Fly, fast talker. Dresses in high hat, long coat, flashy vest and checked trousers. Smudge — A droll blackface minstrel. Costume ad lib — should be capable of playing banjo or other stringed instru- ment. Hi Grass — Typical old rube, about 60. Strong yankee dialect, long chin whiskers, long linen duster, etc. PROPERTIES. Tripod, suitcase, several bottles of medicine, whiskey bot- tle and small glass for Doc. A collection of watches, pocketbooks, a lady's bag, etc. for Grass. A banjo for Smudge. STAGE DIRECTIONS. R. means right of stage ; C, center ; R. C, right center ; L., left ; I E.j first entrance ; U. E., upper entrance ; R. j E., right entrance, up stage, etc.; R. D., right door; L. D., left door, etc. ; up stage, away from footlights ; down stage, near footlights. The actor is supposed to be facing the audience. COPYRIGHT, 1917, BY EBEN H. NORRIS. ^ 2 #&>- CI.D 47785 ^70(^ 12 1917 "Vv© { , THE STREET FAKER Scene : A village street. At Rise. Enter Doc and Smudge from R. Doc carries tripod and suitcase. Smudge has banjo. In suitcase are several bottles of medicine. Doc. This looks like a likely corner. We'll open up here. {Proceeds to adjust tripod and suitcase at C. zvhile speaking. Smudge sta)ids motionless and dejectedly L. of C.) They tell me this is a real town, immense for medi- cine business since it went dry. I am further informed that Golden Rod Highballs and Clover Blossom Cocktails are now the chief local industries. Such being the case my Yu- caw-taw-ze-hawzie Bitters should go like the proverbial hot cakes on a December morning. (Pause — looks at Smudge.) Well, why don't you say something? What's the matter with you ? Smudge. You know doggone well what's the matter with me. I'm hungry. Doc. Seems to me you told me that two weeks ago. Smudge. Well, it's the same hungry. Doc. Shame on you, Smudge. You have been with me two weeks now. You should have money in the bank. Smudge. And I should have something in my stomach, but I ain't. Doc. Why, I didn't know you ever missed a meal. Smudge. I ain't exactly missed a meal, but I done had a whole lot of 'em postponed. Doc. And am I responsible for that? Smudge. How's come you ain't? You done entice me from my excellent and responsible position in de barber shop back in Memphis. Didn't you come in and get your shoes shined, and didn't you say to me : "Young man, shin- ing shoes aren't your vacation in life. You should be a actor in my show." Didn't you exclaim dem most alluring words to me ? 4 THE STREET FAKER Doc. Well, and aren't you an actor? Smudge. No, I aren't. I'm hungry. Doc. Smudge, you will have to climb higher in the pro- fession before you can taste the laurels that crown the foot- prints of us great doctors of medicine. Since you joined me everything has happened to you, has it not? Smudge. Yes, sah, everything except something to eat. Say, every time I go to a back door and ask de kind lady for something to eat, they sic de dog on me. Instead of getting bread, I get dog. Now let me tell you something. De next time dey show me a dog, I'm a-going to eat him. Doc. Ah, but suppose he eats you? Smudge. Man, if he eats me any faster than I eats him, he'll have to work mighty fast, dat's all — mighty fast. Doc. Hush ! The crowd is gathering. (Business by Smudge of looking at imaginary crowd). Now, good peo- ple, don't crowd so close. There's plenty of room for all to see. I want to say that I am simply delighted to see so many here this evening — Smudge. Yes, we didn't know there was so many out of work. Doc. (addressing imaginary crowd). Now, neighbors, we're going to give you a sparkjirrg little entertainment be- fore we introduce the real object of our visit to your bus- tling and enterprising city.- (To imaginary small boys.) Now, boys, behave ! Just a little further back from the stand, please. (Business by Smudge.) Our purpose, neighbors, is to distribute absolutely free of charge these large and effervescent bottles of my mar- velous Yu-caw-taw-ze-hawzie Bitters. But^before^j' offer you this wonderful remedy, my company of^cxajrfedians is going to entertain you. (Smudge gets banjo ready to play and strikes a chord, but is stopped by Doc.) Remember, ladies and gentlemen, that you are absolutely taking no chances in purchasing my wonderful remedy, which is about to be placed in your eager hands positively THE STREET FAKER 5 free gratis for nothing. After our celebrated troupe of high class comedians have performed for your edification, I shall then have something more to say about this mar- velous compound. (Smudge again strikes chord on banjo, but stops dis- gustedly as Doc goes on talking.) I've sold it, neighbors, in every town, city, village and hamlet in the civilized and uncivilized world — including Brooklyn. And I pledge you my word of honor that I have heretofore never disposed of a single bottle for less than a two dollar bill. But tonight, neighbors, I am going to give it away in your city — for one dollar the bottle. The comedians will now entertain you. (Business by Smudge as before.) I want to say, ladies and gentlemen, that entirely unlike all other medicinal compounds on the market, my compound is not made from roots and herbs. Look at it. (Holds a bottle up.) Look at it, I say ! It won't cost you a cent — to look at it. No, siree. There is not one particle of roots and herbs in this — neither is it a secret formula. I'm going to tell you later just how it's compounded. The comedians will' now give you their part of tonight's free show. (Business by Smudge as before.) The first ingredient used in this marvelous preparation is the pulverized bones of spring chickens. (Business by Smudge as he mentions word chicken.) Next we take the meat of fresh killed possum, sun dry it and grind it into a fine powder. (Business by Smudge.) To give it the delightful flavor it possesses, large quanti- ties of Kalamazoo celery and Georgia sweet potatoes are ground to a pulp and thoroughly mixed with the chicken bones and possum meat. (Business by Smudge.) You might well ask yourself wherein is obtained the liquid effect you observe here. My friends, I keep nothing 6 THE STREET FAKER back from you. First we use the finest gin that money can buy. (Business by Smudge.) Not content with that we extract the lucious juice from watermelons, canteloupes, apple pie and corn on the cob. (Business by Smudge.) Now, friends, just one more look. Take particular notice of its color. (Holds bottle up high.) Did you ever see a more brilliant liquid? No artificial coloring or chemicals are used to attain this sparkling and effervescent effect. No, friends, we get this wonderful ef- fect by using the juice of rare porterhouse steaks and fried mushrooms. (Smudge has been working close to Doc through latter part of his speech and nozv grabs bottle, uncorks it and drinks. Doc attempts to grab bottle.) Smudge (shoves Doc's hand away). Man, go way. You have deceived me long enough. (Drinks.) Doc. Gimme that bottle and get to work. Smudge. Go on, man, this is my lunch hour. I'll go to work after I finish my porterhouse steak and mushrooms. (Drinks.) Doc. (to imaginary crowd). And now, my friends, my entire company of colored comedians will offer their hilari- ous program of song and mirth. Smudge introduces song and banjo specialty. . Enter Grass after his specialty. The tap of his cane on floor is heard as lie comes on and attracts the attention of Doc and Smudge. They stare at Grass in keen astonishment. Then: Doc. (to Grass). Ah, young man, welcome. You are just in time to get the very last bottle of my celebrated com- pound. We've completely sold out but for this one bottle. Grass (with hand to ear). Hey? Doc. Oh, I see, you're hard of hearing. Well, sir, this is a positive cure. Grass (with hand to car). What say? THE STREET FAKER 7 Doc. (yelling in Grass' car). I say, you are hard of hearing. Grass. Nope. I was, but I'm all cured up now. Smudge. Doc, there ain't nothing the matter with that man but one thing, he's been exposed to old age and caught it. Doc. (to Grass). Young man, I can see you are troubled with symptoms. You need a bottle of my marvelous bitters, absolutely guaranteed to cure symptoms in its last stages, f Grass. I ain't got any symptoms. I had 'em, but I'm all cured up now. Doc. I see. Have you loss of memory, loss of an arm, leg, eye, both eyes, stomach, body or head? Grass. Nope. I did have, but I'm all cured up now. Doc. Ever had smallpox? Grass. Yep. I'm troubled with that every day or two. Doc. Have you ever had rheumatism, lumbago, neural- gia, pneumonia, hoof and mouth disease, dyspepsia, spavins, warts, ingrowing nails or grouch, ringworms, springhalt, apoplexy, tuberculosis, measles, insanity, chillblains, insom- nia, glanders, hay fever or grass widow, pinkeye, shortness of breath or bank account, delirium tremens, kleptomania or matrimony ? Grass. Yep. Had 'em all. But I'm all cured up now. Smudge. Doc, let me ask that man just one question. Doc. Go ahead. I'm off of him. Smudge (to Grass). Have you ever been hungry? Doc. (to Grass.) Say, I don't make you a-tall. You haven't anything the matter with you — you don't want to buy a bottle of this medicine — now what do you want here? Grass. Well, I kinder hankered like to join your troupe. (Doc and Smudge laugh at the idea.) Doc. Young man, before anybody can join out with me, he's got to show what he can do. Now you take a bottle of my dope here, get in the crowd and see what you can do. (Doc hands Grass bottle and small whiskey glass, and then he and Smudge assist him down steps and into audi- ence, with much comedy business. The orchestra plays 8 THE STREET FAKER loud and fast as Grass starts up the aisle. Grass conies to man in the audience, stops, raises a hand and calls to Doc. Music stops.) Grass. Oh, Doc. - Doc. Well, what is it ? Grass. This man's got a headache. Doc. Ask the gentleman where his headache is. Grass, He says his headache is in his head. Doc. Sorry, but he's got something incurable. A head- acne in the head calls for more heroic treatment. (Music plays again and Grass passes up aisle. Same business as before, raising hand and calling to Doc.) Grass. Oh, Doc. This man here wants to know if your medicine's good for cold feet. Doc. Finest thing in the world for cold feet, sir. Grass. All right. He says he'll tell his wife to get a bottle. (Music plays, Grass passes up aisle and again stops.) Oh, Doc. (Music stops.) Young feller here wants to know if your stuff is good for falling hair. Doc. Good for what? Grass. Falling hair. ...-Smudge. Ask him if it's blonde or brunette. (Grass by this time has worked up one aisle and starts down other.) Grass. Oh, Doc. This gent here asked me if there was any alcohol in your dope. Doc. Alcohol? Not one drop, sir. I have $5,000 right in my hand, cold cash, that says there is not one single drop of alcohol in my medicine. Grass. Too had, Doc. We lost a sale. (He moves along aisle and stops again.) Oh, Doc. ^y&oc. Well? j ^XjRASS. I just wanted to tell you that I nearly sold a / Dottle to this young lady here. Jr iZZj)*^- You nearly sold her one? ass. Yes. If she'd said yes instead of no I'd sold her one. (He mores along — stops.) Oh, Doc. This here feller wants to know if you can change a twenty dollar bill. Doc. Certainly I can. THE STREET FAKER 9 Grass. Well, he says he ain't got a twenty dollar bill. He just wanted to know if you could change one if he had one. (Grass is nozv at steps to stage and assisted tip by Doc and Smudge.) Doc. Well, young man, what kind of luck did you have? Grass. Well, I didn't sell no medicine, but otherwise I had purty good luck. (Pulls out watches, pockctbooks, a lady's bag, etc.) Doc. Kid, you're all right. You join my troupe. (Songs for Finale.) ^y\*S Curtain. Denison's Vaudeville Monologues Price, 15 Cents Each, Postpaid HEY, RUBE! — Monologue, by Harry L. Newton; 1 male. Time, 15 minutes. Reuben Spinach, from Yapton, visits Chicago for the first time. The way he tells of the sights and what befell him would make a sphinx laugh. KILLARNEY B LA R N EY.- Irish monologue, by Harry L. New- ton; 1 male. Time, 15 minutes. Barney McGooggen's stories of himself and his friend Casev reach the apex of Irish wit. MARRIAGE AND AFTER.— Monologue, by Harry L. Newton and A. S. Hoffman; 1 male. Time, about 10 minutes. A laugh every two seconds on a subject which appeals to all. Full of local hits. ME AND MY DOWN TRODDEN SEX.— Old maid monologue, by Harry L. Newton and A. S. Hoffman; 1 female. Time, 5 min- utes. Polly has lived long enough to gather a few facts about men which are told in the most laughable manner imaginable. MRS. CLANCY'S CON FESSION.— Monologue, by Harry L. New- ton; 1 female. Time, 10 minutes. Mrs. Clancy says: "Marriage is a great institution — for the blind, as it opens the eyes quicker than anything else in the world." MY FRIEND FRITZ. — Dutch monologue, by Harry L. Newton; 1 male. Time, 15 minutes. Hans Snitzer, a German but not from Milwaukee, has some funny experiences. His Turkish bath story will thaw out anv audience. PETE YANSEN'S GURL'S MODER.— Swede monologue, by Char- ley Varley; 1 male. Time, 10 minutes. Yansen is "yust" from "Min-ap-'lis" where they make good Swede "yokes." SI AND I. — Country girl monologue, by Harry L. Newton; 1 female. Time, 15 minutes. Samantha Simpkins of Squashville and her beau, Si, visit Chicago. SILLY SAMMY'S SECRETS.— Country kid monologue, by Harry L. Newton; 1 male. Time, 10 minutes. A merry message of mirth sent direct from "down on the farm." A SUNNY SON OF ITALY.— Italian monologue by Harry L. Newton; 1 male. Time, 15 minutes. Dis-a country no much-a good for Italian mans. German mans he make -a all de beer; Jew mans he make-a all de money; Irish mans he made-a all de politicians and hold-a all de soft-a snap jobs. What-a you know about dat, eh? A SWIFT PROPOSITION.— Monologue, by Harry L. Newton; 1 male. Time, 15 minutes. There are various kinds of vehicles, but "A Swift Proposition" is one which will transport any audience into a realm of mirth. A TRAMP WITH A TRAMP. — Tramp monologue, by Harry L. Newton; 1 male. Time, 15 minutes. Nifty Nick, a gentleman of leisure, who tramps along a highway of mirth, where each "hand out" is a bunch of laughs. THE TROUBLES OF ROZINSKI.— Jew monologue, by Harry L. Newton and A. S. Hoffman; 1 male. Time, 15 minutes. Rozinski, a buttonhole maker, is forced to join the union and go on a "strike." He has troubles every minute that will tickle the ribs of both Labor and Capital. UNCLE BILL AT THE VAUDEVI LLE.— Rube monologue, by Harry L. Newton; 1 male. Time, 15 minutes. Uncle Bill Bilkins, a wise old Rube, attends the continuous vaudeville and sees the "hull durn show." WOMEN'S WAYS.— Monologue, by Harry E. Newton; 1 male. Time, 15 minutes. There are two kinds of women of which men should beware, the married and the unmarried. Both have curi- ous ways, which are told in a most humorous manner. WORDS TO THE WISE. — Monologue, by Harry Newton; 1 male. Time about 15 minutes. A typical vaudeville act, which is fat with funny lines and rich, rare hits. T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, 154 W. Randolph St., Chicago Denison's Vaudeville Sketches " A laugh is worth a hundred groans in any market." Price, 15 Cents Each, Postpaid BREAKFAST FOOD FOR TWO.— Vaudeville sketch, by Harry L. Newton; 1 male, 1 female. Time, 20 minutes. Scene: Simple interior. Seldom Sells, a drummer for bottled spring water and condensed milk, and Carrie Samples, a breakfast food demonstra- tor, meet in a small freight office during a snow blockade. Once they were friends, but strangers now; however, while appeasing their hunger with their samples a reconciliation is affected. This sketch is a decided novelty and one of the most choice morsels of humor ever served. THE CABMAN AND THE LADY.— Vaudeville sketch, adapted by William D. Emerson; 2 males, 1 female. Time, 30 minutes. Played a number of seasons with great success by "Emerson, Caffray and Emerson." It is a scream. A COLD FINISH.— Vaudeville sketch, by Harry L. Newton; 2 males, 1 female. Time, 15 minutes. Scene: An interior. A cheeky life insurance agent forces himself into the home of a wealthy lady. Her attempt to get rid of him is side splitting. It has an unexpected finish which is always a great hit in vaude- ville. Really a two-part sketch, as the iceman has only a few lines. THE COUNTERFEIT BILLS.— Vaudeville sketch, by Harry L.. Newton; 1 male, 1 female. Time, 20 minutes. A long lost sailor returns and in explaining his absence to his wife, finds he has steered into rough weather. As a peace-offering he gives her a large "roll of bills" and she admits having a second husband named Bill; however both prove counterfeit. There is a dash of wit and a foam of humor in the Old Salt's tale of adventures that cannot fail to delight. DOINGS OF A DUDE.— Vaudeville sketch, by Harry L. Newton; 2 males, 1 female. Time, 20 minutes. Scene: Simple interior. Maizy von Billion, of athletic tendencies, is expecting a boxing instructor and has procured Bloody Mike, a prize fighter, to "try him out." Percy Montmorency, her sister's ping pong teacher, is mistaken for the boxing instructor and has a "trying out" that is a surprise. A whirlwind of fun and action. FRESH TIMOTHY HAY.— Vaudeville sketch, by Harry L. New- ton; 2 males, 1 female. Time, 20 minutes. Scene: Simple rural exterior. By terms of a will, Rose Lark must marry Reed Bird or forfeit a legacy. Rose and Reed have never met and when he arrives Timothv Hay, a fresh farm hand, mistakes him for Pink Eye Pete, a notorious thief. Ludicrous lines and rapid action. Chance for songs and specialties if desired. "We presented 'Fresh Timothy Hay' with great success. — Frank S. Wildt, Lancaster, Pa. GLICKMAN, THE GLAZIER.— Vaudeville sketch, by Harry L. Newton and A. S. Hoffman; 1 male, 1 female. Time, 25 minutes. Scene: Simple interior. Charlotte Russe, an actress, is scored by a dramatic paper. With "blood in her eye" she seeks the critic at the office, finds no one in and smashes a window. Jacob Glickman, a Hebrew glazier, rushes in and is mistaken for the critic. Fun, jokes, gags and action follow with lightning rapidity. A great Jew part. "Under the team name of Herbert and Elliott we are making a big hit with 'Glickman, the Glazier.' Your 'stuff' is the best ever. — C. W. Herbert, Spokane, Wash. T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, 154 W. Randolph St., Chicago DEN J SONS ••"'"" VAUDEVILLE Denison's Vaudeville Sketches For Male Characters Price, 15 Cents Each, Postpaid THE COMING CHAMPION.— Colored sketch with a burlesque boxing bout, by Harry L. New- ton. 2 males. Scene: A restaurant. A black waiter and a mulatto fight promoter. A twenty minute "go" in which humor wins in a cyclone finish. A DUTCH COCKTAIL.— Vaudeville talking act, by Harry L. Newton; 2 males. Time, 20 minutes. Wienerwurst and Schmerekaze con- coct a Dutch mixture that will tickle the most exacting and fun-craving palate. FIVE MINUTES FROM YELL COLLEGE.— Dutch, rapid-fire talking act, by Harry L. Newton; 2 males. Time, 15 minutes. Jack Schmaltz, who got the learning, and his uncle, who paid for it. A ludicrous investigation into the value of higher edu- cation. FOR REFORM. — Political satire for a singing quartette, by Harry L. Newton; 4 males. Time, 20 minutes. The boss, the ward heeler, the reform candidate and the office boy. The wheels of this political machine are lubricated with real humor. THE LITTLE RED SCHOOL HOUSE.— A burlesque sketch on education for a singing quartette, by Harry L. Newton; 4 males. Time, 20 minutes. Heine Picklebrodt, the German teacher. John- nie Redd, the bad boy. Willie Green, the nice boy. Ikey Gold- silver, the Hebrew boy. A school where scholars and mirth run rampage, heeding not the teacher's rules. Any number of songs can be introduced. OSHKOSH NEXT WEEK.— A sketch for a singing quartette, by Harry L. Newton; 4 males. Time, 20 minutes. Three hungry young actors without money waiting for next week's engagement and an ingenious bell boy, who injects enough action and humor into the situation, to keep their thoughts from dwelling long on home and ham and eggs well done. Any number of songs can be introduced. AN OYSTER STEW.— A rapid-fire talking act, by Harry L. Newton and A. S. Hoffman; 2 males. Time, 10 minutes. Dick Tell, a knowing chap. Tom Askit, not so wise. This act is filled to overflowing with lightning cross-fires, pointed puns and hot retorts. PICKLES FOR TWO.— Dutch rapid-fire talking act, by Harry L. Newton and A. S. Hoffman; 2 males. Time, 15 minutes. Hans, a German mixer. Gus, another one. Unique ludicrous Dutch dialect, interspersed with rib-starting witticisms. THE RECRUITING OFFICE.— Vaudeville talking act, by Harry L. Newton; 2 males. Time, 15 minutes. Irish comedians, "rough and straight." A laughing novelty with just enough plot to make the hinges work smoothly. A SPECIAL SALE.— Jew sketch, by Harry L. Newton; 2 males. Time, 15 minutes. Anson, a pawnbroker, sells Solomon a coat at a reduction. Save up your laughter for this sale. TWO JAY DETECTIVES.— A rural riot of comedy, by Harry L. Newton; 3 males. Time, 15 minutes. Two correspondence school detectives, a busy landlord, ludicrous clues and humorous deduc- tions. The shadowing and the investigations of these Reubens un- cover some real mirth. THE UMBRELLA MENDER.— Vaudeville act, by Harry L. New- ton; 2 males. Time, 15 minutes. Beginning with a shower and ending in a downpour of Jew jokes and Irish gags. T.S. DENISON & COMPANY, 154 W. Randolph St., Chicago DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS Price 15 Cents Each, Postpaid, Unless Different Price Is Given Winning Widow, 2 acts, VA hrs. (25c) 2 4 Women Who Did, 1 hi... (25c) 17 Yankee Detective, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 8 3 FARCES, COMEDIETAS, Etc. All on a Summer's Day, 40 min. 4 6 April Fools, 30 min 3 Assessor, The, 10 min 3 2 Baby Show at Pineville, 20 min. 19 Billy's Chorus Girl, 25 min... 2 3 Billy's Mishap, 20 min 2 3 Borrowed Luncheon, 20 min.. 5 Borrowing Trouble, 20 min 3 5 Case Against Casey, 40 min... 23 Country Justice, 15 min 8 Cow that Kicked Chicago, 20 m. 3 2 Divided Attentions, 35 min 1 4 Dude in a Cyclone, 20 min 4 2 Familv Strike, 20 min 3 3 First-Class Hotel, 20 min 4 For Love and Honor, 20 min.. 2 1 Fudge and a Burglar, 15 min.. 5 Fun in Photo Gallery, 30 min.. 6 10 Great Medical Dispensary, 30 m. 6 Great Pumpkin Case, 30 min.. 12 Hans Von Smash, 30 min.... 4 3 I'm Not Mesilf at All, 25 min. 3 2 Initiating a Granger, 25 min.. 8 Irish Linen Peddler, 40 min... 3 3 Is the Editor In? 20 min... 4 2 Kansas Immigrants, 20 min... 5 1 Men Not Wanted, 30 min 8 Mike Donovan's Courtship, 15 m. 1 3 Mother Goose's Goslings, 30 m. 7 9 Mrs. Jenkins' Brilliant Idea, 35m. S Mrs. Stubbins' Book Agent, 30 m. 3 2 My Wife's Relations, 1 hr 4 fi Not a Man in the House, 40 m. 5 Pair of Lunatics, 20 min 1 1 Patsy O'Wang, 35 min 4 3 Pat, the Apothecary, 35 min.. 6 2 Persecuted Dutchman, 30 min. 6 3 Regular Fix, 35 min 6 4 Second Childhood, 15 min 2 2 Shadows, 35 min 2 2 Sing a Song of Seniors, 30 min. 7 Taking Father's Place, 30 min. 5 3 Taming a Tiger, 30 min 3 That Rascal Pat, 30 min 3 2 Those Red Envelopes, 25 min. 4 4 Too Much of a Good Thing, 45 min 3 6 Turn Him Out, 35 min 3 2 Two Aunts and a Photo, 20 m. 4 Two Gentlemen in a Fix, 15 m. 2 Two Ghosts in White, 20 min . . S Two of a Kind, 40 min 2 3 Uncle Dick's Mistake, 20 min.. 3 2 Wanted a Correspondent, 45 m. 4 4 ■ Wanted a Hero, 20 min 1 1 M. F. Wide Enough for Two, 45 min. 5 2 Wrong Baby, 25 min 8 Yankee Peddler, 1 hr 7 3 VAUDEVILLE SKETCHES, MON- OLOGUES, ETHIOPIAN PLAYS. Ax'in' Her Father, 25 min.... 2 3 Booster Club of Blackville, 25 m.10 Breakfast Food for Two, 20 m. 1 1 Cold Finish, 15 min 2 1 Colored Honeymoon, 25 min ... 2 2 Coon Creek Courtship, 15 min. 1 1 Coming Champion, 20 min.... 2 Coontown Thirteen Club, 25 m.14 Counterfeit Bills, 20 min, 1 1 Darktown Fire Brigade, "25 min. 10 Doings of a Dude, 20 min 2 1 Dutch Cocktail, 20 min 2 For Reform, 20 min 4 Fresh Timothy Hay, 20 min ..21 Glickman, the Glazier, 25 min. 1 1 Good Mornin' Judge, 35 min.. 9 2 Her Hero, 20 min 1 1 Hey, Rube! 15 min 1 Home Run, 15 min 1 J Jumbo Jum, 30 min 4 3 Little Red School House, 20 m. 4 Love and Lather, 35 min 3 2 Marriage and After, 10 min.. 1 Memphis Mose, 25 min 5 1 Mischievous Nigger, 25 min.. 4 2 Mistaken Miss, 20 min 1 1 Mr. and Mrs. Fido, 20 min 1 1 Oh, Doctor! 30 min 6 2 One Sweetheart for Two, 20 m. 2 Oshkosh Next Week, 20 min . . 4 Oyster Stew, 10 min 2 Pete Yansen's Gurl's Moder, 10m. 1 Pickles for Two, 15 min 2 Pooh Bah of Peacetown, 35 min. 2 2 Prof. Black's Funnygraph, 15 m. 6 Sham Doctor, 10 min 4 2 Si and I, 15 min 1 Special Sale, 15 min 2 Stage Struck Darky, 10 min.. 2 1 Sunny Son of Italy, 15 min.. 1 Time Table, 20 min ■ ..-. 1 1 Tramp and the Actress. 20 min. 1 2 Troubled by Ghosts, 10 min... 4 Troubles of Rozinski, 15 min.. 1 Two Jay Detectives, 15 min.. 3 Umbrella Mender, 15 min 2 Uncle Jeff, 25 min 5 2 What Happened to Hannah, 15m. 1 1 A great number of Standard and Amateur Plays not found here are listed in Denison's Catalogue POPULAR ENTERTAI Price, Illustrated Paper Cov LIBRARY OF CONGRESS i — , -*- n this Series are found books touching every feature in the enter- tainment field. Finely made, good paper, clear print and each book has an attrac t i v e individual cov- er design. A Partial List DIALOGUES All Sorts of Dialogues. Selected, fine for older pupils. Catchy Comic Dialogues. Very clever; for young people. Children's Comic Dialogues. From six to eleven years of ago. Country School Dialogues. Brand new, original Dialogues for District Schools. For country schools. Dialogues from Dickens. Thirteen selections. The Friday Afternoon Dialogue .:. Over 50,000 copies sold. From Tots to Teens. Dialogues and recitations. Humorous Homespun Dialogue::. For older ones. Little People's Plays. From 7 to 13 years of age. Lively Dialogues. For all ages; mostly humorous. Merry Little Dialogues. Thirty-eight original selection?. When the Lessons are Over. Dialogues, drills, plays. Wide Awake Dialogues. Original successful. SPEAKERS, MONOLOGUES Choice Pieces for Little Peopk-. A child's speaker. The Comic Entertainer. Recitations, monologues, dialogue? Dialect Readings. Irish, Dutch, Negro, Scotch, etc The Favorite Speaker. Choice prose and poetry. The Friday Afternoon Speaker. For pupils of all ages. Humorous Monologues. Particularly for ladies. Monologues for Young Folks. Clever, humorous, original. Mon Sera ( 015 910 219 1 morous, descriptive, prose, poetry. 15 Nos., per No. 25c DRILLS The Best Drill Book. Very popular drills and marches. The Favorite Book of Drills. Drills that sparkle with originality. Little Plays With Drills. For children from 6 to 1 1 years. The Surprise Drill Book. Fresh, novel, drills and marches. SPECIALTIES The Boys' Entertainer. Monologues, dialogues, drills. Children's Party Book. Invitations, decorations, games. The Days We Celebrate. Entertainments for all the holidays. Good Things for Christmas. Recitations, dialogues, drills. Good Things for Sunday Schools. Dialogues, excrc.ie,;, recitati :: . Good Things for Thanksgiving. A gem of a book. Good Things for Washington and Lincoln Birthdays. Little Folks' Eudget. Easy pieces to speak, songs. One Hundred Entertainments. New parlor diversions, socials. % Patriotic Celebrations. Great variety of material. Pictured Readings and Tableaux. Entirely original features. Pranks arid Pastimes. Parlor games for children. Private Theatricals. How to put on plays. Chadow Pictures, Pantomimes, Charades, and how to prepare. Tableaux and Scenic Readings. New and novel; for all ages. Twinkling Fingers and Sway- ing Figures. Fnr little tots. Yuletide Entertrir.mer.ts. A choice Christmas collection. MINSTRELS, JOKES Dlack American Joker. Minstrels' and end men's gags. A Bundle of Burnt Cork Comedy. Monologues, stump speeches, etc. Laughland, via the Ha-Ha Route. A merry trip for fun tourists. Negro Minstrels. All about the business. The New Joliy Jester. F:ni"v storie c . jok^.i, gags. etc. Large Illustrated Catalogue Free T.S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers ,1 54 W. Randolph St. , Chicago