•('"'•■■. r'-.'.;- :'■¥ )'■'■ !:v; I;,; i^ co^-o. '^^ ^^ "^^..^ ^ . q v^ '^ © N o ^ ^^* ^o .^^^ «^^^ t 1 %.n4 ^ ^ j9 ^^..# ♦ 0^ c,»lf', 'b 9 A a"^ '"^^ Jm/ mW* -0? '"^ ♦ ©lira * d^ "^ 6* c'jj'.^^o^ ^j, "©NO" !■«>' ©«0^ A^^ ^^ „ ^ ..V ^ff / •» • * ^. '■"^ '^'o <^ * hP-^i.. t.^^b'o .4 Oft Harper's Stereotype Edition. THE SIAMESE TWIXS. A SATIRICAL TALE OF THE TIMES. ^3^o^l IC-ryy, ^^ji XmA^H^ f OnJL*^ //?'^-rn>*^ WITH OTHER POEMS. BY THE AUTHOR OP "PELHAM," "THE DISOWNED," "DEVEREUX," "PAUL CLIFFORD," &c. &c. NEW-YORK: PRINTED BY J. ^ J. HARPER, 82 CLIFF-STREET. Sold by Collins & Hannay, Collins & Co., G. & C. & H. Carvill, White, Gal- latier, & White, E. Bliss, and C. S. Francis ; — Albany, O. Steele, and Little and Cummings ; — Philadelphia, John Grigg, Carey «fc Lea, Tower & Hogan, E. L. Carey «fe A. Hart, T. Desilver, jr., and U. Hunt ;— Boston, Richardson, Lord, 7^aAct sm uxpeXiia tZv Seo' niv(i)v Tov TOioirov rpd-Kov. — Euseb. Frcsp. Evang. 1. xii. c. 31. This doctrine of the piety of fraud is commoa among nearly all the primitive writers of the church. t The cunning and falsehood of the Siamese is a hitter subject of complaint with all their visiters. 48 THE SIAMESE TWINS. [bOOK I. Folks there, are now but slowly learning That beautiful resource called " credit j" And Fiam, to the future turning, Began to see good cause to dread it. Yet for himself, foreboding smote The doting father's heart less — ah ! less Than those who would not have a groat, When left upon the world papaless ! And there, wh^re both reward and penance Are held decreed to this world's tenants.* Where every piece of luck that raises One's fortune, but one's virtue praises ; And the calamities that dish us Are merely proofs that we are vicious ;— 'T was clear, with such a faith and nation, Our Twins' peculiar situation, If coupled with an empty purse, Would be esteemed no trivial curse ; And that the world would act most oddly, If kind to sorrows so ungodly. This foresight, then, had made the father Yield to the patriot's scheme, — nay, rather A project that at once appeared To cure the very ills he feared, The fortune he had lost replace, Rob his boys' doom of its disgrace, And make them, with such slender labours Quite independent of their neighbours, He deemed so strangely happy, that He gave the honour to the Nat.f Nay, to naught le.,s he could compare it, Than to the might of those who muse » Rank in this life is held by the Boudhists as a proof of moral excellence in a former— so are all worldly blessings. In Siam and the Burman empire, a man acts as well as he can, in the hope of being made a lord a/i!er he dies— just as in certain other countries, a man acts as ill as he can, in the hope of being made a lord before that event. t Nat— Superior beings in the Boudhist religion. CHAP, in.] THE SIAMESE TWINS. 49 On man in the ZadumahariU* And stand three leagues without their shoes ! Thus, to his guest his sons committing, You '11 own in Fiam not unfitting. No hardness of the heart betraymg, But a sire's anxious care displaying. Not so his neighbours ! — long and loud Tattled the fashionable crowd : They were so shock'd they scarce could speak, Especially, of course, the women all ; They 'd always thought him very weak, But this was absolutely criminal. What, send away one's sons from home. On bits of wood o'er waves to roam ! Travel, indeed ! what for ? was not All wisdom centred in one spot ? All virtue, learning, bliss, pomp, show, All with which Boudha could supply 'em. To see, hear, taste, enjoy, and know, — ^Were they not all confined to Siam ? Travel, indeed — with such a fellow too. Whose skm was any thing but yellow too ! While thus his friends (friends are so moral About pur acts ! ) with Fiam quarrel, We '11 listen to our brothers, walking Alone, and close engaged in talking. A wild design is theirs, I ween, Pray Heaven, it ripen to a scene. " I hear," quoth Chang, " the sorcerer's art " Surpasseth Reason's cramp'd believing ; " And— just look round, Chmg ! for my part, " I dare say, there is some deceiving ; * The Nat of the Zadumaharit are of the most exalted order ; their height is half a juzana ; a juzana being six Burma leagues, and four ratoen. 50 THE SIAMESE TWINS. [bOOE Ir " Yet, ere our land, our home we change, " Launch in a scheme that seems so strange, " Trust hope and life to fortune frail, " And with our guest, in short, set sail, " 'T were well to hear what one so wise " As he we speak of would advise ; *' Or, since, perchance, to our intent " The will may be already bent, " Rather, 't were well to lift the veil " Athwart the future's gloom ; •* And know what peril may assail, ' *' Or pleasure soothe — our doom !" " Well said," cried Ching, " the scheme 's a bold one j " One likes to have one's fortune told one. " 'T is new moon, by-the-by, to-night, " It can't do any harm to hear him ! " To start betimes would be but right ; " We live, you know, by no means near him." Rejoiced to Jfind gay Ching so mettled, Chang nods assent — th' affair is settled. In those dark climes of farthest Ind Yet reigns that weird, and wondrous Science, To which, ev'n here, the illumin'd mind Hath sometimes quail'd from its defiancev Dread relics of that solemn lore From eldest Egypt haply brought, And to the Magian Seers of yore In terror and in mystery taught By the eternal stars ; — what time Night deepened to her ghastly noon. And, paled beneath the muttered rhyme, Grew faint the pausing Moon. There, while the sparr'd and dropping caves Murmured, as from their depth were called CHAP. III.] THE SIAMESE TWINS. 51 New Shapes released from former graves, And the earth's dreader^ beings — thralled To grosser ether, by the Power And the dark Rulers of the Hour! While Nature sickened into dearth, The swift winds fell upon the waves With Fear struck dead ; and Silence palled The torpor of the tomb-like earth ; — There, by their rocky homes, the Seers Of the Dark Wisdom lonely sate, And from no human oracle, Nor Druid shade, or Delphic cell. But from the arch untrodden spheres Drew forth the voice of Fate ! Ye whom the Magian spell'd of old, The orbed and glorious Thrones of Heaven, Will ye in truth no more unfold The lore to Earth^s gray Fathers given 1 What wondrous arts that pierce the deep Of Time, and from slow nature win Her secrets, ay, her empire ; sleep Your hush'd and hoarding shrines within ! And still we gaze, and gaze, and yearn. And, with mysterious pinings, feel The soul — perchance your offspring — ^burn For what your voices can reveal ! — Mute — mute — ye from your height survey Our longings vague, our visions vain ; And, drawn to earth, we turn away, And sicken to ourselves again. Still linger in the vast abode, Where once the Magian learning glowed Fond dreamers wild and self-deceiving, Feedmg strange thoughts in loneliness ; 52 THE SIAMESE TWINS. [bOOK I. And, in one empty science, weaving The threads of each unhallowed guess. Gaunt Fast and sternest Penance joined To the great Awe, which is the soul Or demon of all solitude, Darken the fancies of their mind Into a grim and gathering mood, Till madness blackens o'er the whole. Such is the stuff from which is made The mould of those in half-lit climes, Whom hooded millions have obeyed, Drunk with the lust of fire and scathe, And mailed to mercy by a faith That spnmg from Phrensy's densest shade, A madness modell'd to a trade. And grown a creed by crimes ! To one of these wild seers the Twins Are bound, and ere the earliest ray Of the New Moon* her reign begins, Behold them on their unwatch'd way. They pass'd along by the Menam's side, With its floating streetsf on the twilight tide. And laughter and voices echoed afar From the idle groups in the gilt bazaar ; But the clear smooth note mid the din they distinguish. Of the cunning Chinese, who are cheating the English. They have left the city behind them now ; And, along the gladden'd ground, * The reader will bear in mind, that both in the Boiidhic and Hindoo super- stitions, the time of the new moon is one of peculiar and mystic power. t " On each side of the river (Menam) there was a row of floating habitations resting on rafts of bamboo moored to the shore. These appeared the neatest and best description of buildings; they were occupied by good Chinese shops." — Crauford's Embassy to Stam, p. 79. CHAP. III.] THE SIAMESE TWINS. 53 There stealeth a scent from each purple bough, In the thousand orchards round.* O'^ the thin, frail plank, that the deep canal Bridges, they gliding go ; And the maw of the crocodile waits their fall. As he watcheth them from below. For two-and-twenty comely fanes In sight, the wealth of the town bespeak ; But the purse of the citizen never contains Enough for a bridge o'er a single creek.f The night hath advanced ; and the sharp, shrill cry Of the ger.Jf.oj^ breaks forth from the herbage dark J And out, o'er the hush of the breathless sky, Sweeps the Moon in her stately bark. They see (in Siam a frequent sight — A drollish sort of a constitution hers !) A robber, who should have been hang'd that night, Walking coolly off with his executioners.^ To the heart of the plain they have pass'd, and there The Moon on a temple shone, And they note a Chinese with his braided hair. By some embers employ'd alone : * Bancok is surrounded by orchards. t " The town (Bancok) is huilt on a rich tract, «fec., intersected by numerous creeks and canals We had to pass under a bridge, which, after the profusion of expense which we had lately witnessed in the temples, af- forded a surprising example of the stupid inattention of a despotic government and a superstitious people to all objects of public convenience and utility: the value of a very few of the brass images which we saw yesterday would have been stifficient to build a noble bridge at this place, where it was so much required; but the one which we now saw consisted of a single plank, and was elevated to the giddy height of at least thirty feet. We proceeded in all about five miles. In ottr route, we counted no less than twenty-two temples."— Crau/ord's Embassy, 127-130. > t A sort of lizard of nocturnal habits— made on purpose to disturb Captain Crauford at night. § " A celebrated gang robber, whose apprehension had cost the Siamese government a great deal of trouble, and who was placed in charge of the Prah-klang, took this opportunity to effect his escape. The mode in which he accomplished this afforded some insight into the character of the servants of the Siamese government. The robber seduced the whole guard, and walked off with them ; thus not only effecting his own escape, but taking with hiift an armed and organized body of depredators."— Craw/brd's Embassif^ 54 THE SIAMESE TWINS. [bOOK I. He was stirring up the bones of his sire, With a tool like a gardener's prong ; He had burnt him that day by a famous fire, And was closing his task with a chaerfiil song.* They have gone many miles since the night begun, And the mystic moon to her height hath won. They pause by the jaws of a tangled wood, For gloomily there the shadows brood, And they thought how the tigers in search of food From the distant forest had lately strayed, - — And they looked on each other, and mutely prayed. They are walking on with a trembling tread. And painful the path through the jungle to thread ; And their hearts beat high at the sullen crush Of the boughs swinging back to their broken hush ; And they hear the hiss of the startled snake. And they see the bed in the trampled brake, "Where some ravening beast, aroused by the moon To his prey, had reposed through the sultr" noon. But aye, as they paused for breatn, the part Of the cheerer was donned by the darker heart ; For the nerves of the one, whom in safety ye deemed The gallanter spirit, now quail and cower. While the calm which in common a dulness seemed, Grew courage when kept thro' the perilous hour. The jungle is cleared, and the moon shines bright On a broad and silent plain ; * "Returning home one day from an excursion on the Menam, my attention was attracted by observing a Chinese, all alone, stirring up some embers within the enclosures of a temple, with an instrument resembling a pitchfork. On landing, we found that he was completing the funeral rites of some relative. He was stirring the fire to complete the destruction of some of the larger bones, and was either cheering or consoling himself vnth a, song I"— Cra%- ford's Embassy, p. 460. CHAP, m.] THE SIAMESE TWINS. 65 And (gaunt in the midst) the streaming light Sleeps, hushed on a giant Fane ! No late-built, gay, and glittering shrine,* Like those the Boudhist holds divine ; But simple — ^lone — gray — ^vast — and hoar, All darkly eloquent of Eld ! The farthest years of untold yore That temple had beheld. Sadly and desolately now, It rais'd to Heaven its gloomy brow ; Its altars silent and nntrod, — The faith has left the Brahmin's God.t There while the brothers gazing stood, Their youthful blood grew chill, Appalled beneath the Solitude, The Sternness and the Still ! ' Tney nave gain'd tne sacred bound, They have pass'd its broken wall ; And they quail as they walk, when they hear the sound Of their steps in the temple fall ! They stand in a desolate place, Their roof the starr'd and breathless Space ! An altar at their feet, o'erthrown ! On the gray walls around, half-razed, Strange shapes and mystic rhymes are traced, Typing a past world's fate. * The massy and antique solemnity of the Hindoo temple, compared with those devoted to the Boudhist religion, covered as the latter are with gilding and grotesque ornaments made of the most gaudy and least durable materials, never fails to strike every traveller in the countries where the two religions are found together. t " They (the Hindoo temples) were dreary and comfortless places, and there was no mistaking the religion which had the countenance and protection of the state."— Crai{/brd's Embassy, p. 119. S6 THE SIAMESE TWINS. [bOOK X. And still, as if himself had grown Its like — upon a couch of stone Majestic — shadowy — and alone The dark Magician sate ! The white rays hush'd around him shining— His broad brow knit and down declining ; Fix'd on the wan Earth's mystic breast His eyes — intent but dreaming — rest ; His mute form bending musingly, And his hands clasp'd upon his knee. Calmness sat round him like a robe, The calmness of the cro^vned Dead, The calmness of the solemn globe "^^ When Night makes Silence dread. The calmness of some God reclin'd On high — and brooding o'er Earth's doom, Or of some cloud ere yet the wind Hath voiced the breathless gloom. The errand they tell, and the boon they crave. > It is done ! — with a glassy eye The Sorcerer look'd on the Twins, and gave, In a chanting tone, reply. " Ten years ago, and the Boon of Light " Was oped at the page that is bared to-night, "And" the Moon had buried her mother old, " And the Dragon was up from his mountain-hold, " And the Spirits who feast on a mortal's wo " Were walking the wide earth to and fro. " My blood was young, and my heart was bold, " And I burn'd for the spell of the conquer'd tomb " And I sat by the grave they had dug that day, " For a woman whose spirit had passed away " When the babe was in her womb.* *" The 'belief in the agency of evil spirits is universal ; and though dis- claimed by the religion of Budha, they are more frequently worshipp^ than the latter. Nor will the darkest periods of German necromancy and pretended CHAP, m.] THE SIAMESE TWINS. 57 " And the grave was bared — and the rite prepared, " And the dark rhyme slowly said, " And with shriek and shout, the demon rout " Came round the unburied dead. " Yea ! round and romid, with their giant wings, " The monster Bird, and the dragon Snake, " And the Evil Race from the Ebon springs " Of the Genii's waveless Lake ! " Yea, round and round, with their stony glare, " And their gnashing teeth, and their ghastly yell ! " And limb by limb, they had torn me there, " Had I miss'd one word of the wizard spell. " But I mastered the fiends with a fearless breast, " And I tore the babe from its darksome rest, " And I severed the hands, and the feet, and the head, " And I looked around — and the fiends were fled — " And I was alone with the mangled dead ! " And never from her hall of light " The moon's hushed glory seem'd so bright " As then ! — the gale its pride had bow'd — " The tree — the herb — the flower— below ; " And the white star and pausing cloud " Above me ; — seemed to hail, and know " The new-made Monarch, whom the Hour, divination be found to exceed, in point of the incredible and horrible, what is to be observed among the Siamese of the present day. It is usual to inter women that have died pregnant ; the popular belief is, that the necromancers have the power of performing the most extraordinary things, when possessed of the infant which had been thus interred in the womb of the mother : it is customary to watch the grave of such persons, in order to prevent the infant being carried off. The Siamese tell the tale of horror in the most solemn manner. All the hobgoblins, wild and ferocious animals, all the infernal spirits, are said to oppose the unhallowed deed ; the perpetrator, well charged with cabalistic term^; which he must recite in a certain fixed order, and with nerves well braced to the daring task, proceeds to the grave, which he lays open. In proportion as he advances in his work, the opposing spirits become more daring ; he cuts off the head, hands, and feet of the infant, with which he returns home. A body of clay is adapted to these, and this new compound is placed in a sort of temple ; the matter is now accomplished, the possessor has become master of the past, present, and future."— JPirtZaj/«o?i's Mission to Siam and Cochin China, p. 339. 8 THE SIAMESE TWINS. [bOOK I. " And the dark daring of the deed " And the Art minioned to the meed, " Had diadem'd with power ! " And the lovely Earth is bared to me " With the wealth of its cofFer'd dower ; — " The death, and the life in every tree ; — " And the spirit in every flower ; — " From Clime to Clime unseen I glide " On the car of my swift desire, " I rule the steeds of the rushing Tide, " And the heart of the restless Fire. " I watch o'er the Past in its mighty sleep, " I walk in its Chambers dark, " And over the Future's shoreless deep " I sail in my prophet-bark. " But I pine from my wisdom's desolate throne, " And my sceptre charms me not ; " And I fly in thought, as I sit alone, " To my father's tranquil Cot. " And why, O dupes of the burning dream, " For a boon that deceiveth, roam ? " Will the Sun on a stranger's dwelling beam " More bright than it shines on home t " But I read your brow — and I read your heart, " And I know the seal is set ; " And that spell is above a Magian's art, " That can hold man from Regret." The sorcerer rose, and led the way Thro' a rent in the deep wall's massive base. And they stood in a cell where the peering ray Crept faint from above thro' the dismal space ; Serving just to shadow dimly, Their outlines from the denser gloom. Like the half-worn images sculptured grimly On the walls in the outer room. CHAP. III.] THE SIAMESE TWINS, 59 Suddenly forth to the roof, the light Burst, of a mighty flame ! It shot from the earth to that lofty height — Like a burning town on a northern night, And it trampled the gloom with an Angel's might— And it died as it came ! But behold on the spot where it falleth, A meteor hath risen, and slowly crawleth, — The child of the fire-fiend creeping Along ; — till at length with an impish mirth To and fro see it fitfully leaping. As it courses the jagged earth ! Then they marked that the seer had his raiment thrown On the ground ; and a narrow and knotted zone. Star-studded, was bound on his loins alone ! They stand within the flame, that curl'd, Not in the northern wizard's ring, But oval-like ; and imaging A mystery in the Antique world. And the sorcerer on their heads hath lain One hand, the other raised on high ! " Worms on life's lotos leaf — whate'er " Of dread or menace meet the eye " Or thrill the appalled ear — ^beware " Of any sound — of any cry " Beyond the ebb of breath ! " This fiery wall is life's domain, " Transgressed one inch is death ! " For the fiends are without, and I hear them now, " And I feel their breath on my dampening brow. " If a single drop from the brimmed spell " Run o'er, ye are doomed to the wrath of hell. 6d THE SIAMESE TWINS. [BOOK I. " And a death by the gripe of the demon's fangs, " Will but herald the soul to Tapana's* pangs I" Now the fire is calmly burning, And the orgy hath begun, And along the red girth going, From an iron vessel throwing In the flame the appomied things Of that black and fearful learning ; Thus the Magian with each one Slowly sings. " Seizers of the wretch who wars " With the sovereign of the* Stars, " Ye, whom my victory taught to fear me, " Still and bright Grahana,^ hear me ! " And ye who sweep thro' the air and the deep, " And rise on the Fire God's wings, " Or, couched in the gloom of the momitain's womb, " Hold court with the Metal kings ; " Ye mocking Elements— who laugh " At a mortal's doom with a frantic mirth — " And scatter our dust, when we die, like chaff " O'er the heart of the griefless earth : " Ye, whom my victory taught to fear me, " Bhuta,J dread servants of Siva,!^ hear me ! " Four-and- sixty bones are here, " Blent and seethed in the bowl of Fear ; * Tapana is one of the many Boudhese hells to which, among other crimi- nals, the dabblers in unlauful arts are condemned. The reader will note, that in the ensuing incantation, the sorcerer forsakes the Boudhist superstition, and alludes only to the Hindoo. The Hindoo magicians, to whose order he appears to belong, are of greater renown than the Boudhist. t The planets : their name (Grahana) signifies the act of seizing, and they are chiefly invoked by the Hindoo magicians in ceremonies denouncing evil upon enemies. t Bhuta; the Elements are considered by the Hindoos as demons— the Atharvana Veda (one of their sacred books) is said to ejijoln their wowhip. $ Siva, the God of Destruction. CHAP. III.] THE SIAMESE TWINS. 61 " Four-and-sixty roots are mingled, *' By the moon, at her moment of glory, singled, *' By these, by the ashes, the draught, and the dust, " Come hither — come hither, ye must — ye must ! " Steep my tongue in the Fount of the Future Things, " And shadow my soul with your rushing wings." As he spoke, on his lip there gathered the foam, And his voice, from a breath, to its height had clombe. And the blood swelled forth in each corded vein, And the drops oi his agony fell like rain. But still as a calm on a lowering sea, When the quiet is cradled appallingly, The Twins knelt down in the midmost space, And clung to each other in close embrace. And the eyes of the one on the ground were bent, And his breath but in gaspings came and went ; But the high-wrought nerve of the sterner raised His brow ; on the Magian he fix'dly gazed, And the strength of desire sustained his dread, — ^But the swarthy blood from his cheek had fled. While he knelt and gazed — with a slimy crawl, And a hissing breath round the fiery wall, Caine the loathely things of the serpent race, With a glassy eye on his haunted face. And wherever he turned they came — they caine— With their crests erect o'er the barrier flame ! Some of the dwarfed and deadliest tribe. Whence the poison the shafts of a chief imbibe ; And others that vi^reathed in their volumed length, Lapped the fate of their prey in their crushing strength. But beyond, where the fire had failed to break The shadows—- he heard the vulture shriek ; And at length on its lead wing heavily It flapped to a gray stone mouldering nigh, And gloamed on the boy with its charnel eye, D 62 THE SIAMESE TWINS. [bOOK I* But he would not stir, and he held his breath, For he thought on the Magian's menaced death ; And the full of the fit, or the fiend's control, Seemed now to have rush'd on the Sorcerer's soul : His mien was all changed from its human wont, And the phrensy was stamped on his knotted front. " Ye have come with your golden wings, " Ye have come with your starry eyes, "And I feel the Cloud of the dawning Things, " Like the mists from an ocean rise ! " Mortals ! who from the Magian's skill, " Demand what Fate may yet fulfil, " List — heed — and mark — for wrapp'd in gloom, " The dim unbodied Shapes that wait " In the vast Future's mighty Womb, " The appointed hour of Fate. " The Stream and the Bark shall glide " With a happy Sun, and a quiet Tide ; " But the Stream at length shall chafe at the Sail, *' And its wave shall rise to an anger'd gale, " And the Stream on the guiltless Bark shall war, " And the Bark shall know dread on the fitful wave ; " And the Stream shall look up to a single Star, " And the Star shall endanger the Bark, but — save. " And the Bark in a quiet Port shall rest, " But the Stream shall roll on with a lonely breast. " Lo ! lo ! where it enters the earth, and its way " Is snatched like a dream from the face of the day. " Not a glimpse from its course — not a voice from its waves — " Lo ! it sinks from my sight — in the depths of the caves." As he ceaseth, the fiery bound Duller and dimmer fades. CHAP. III.] THE SIAMESE TWINS. 63 And the Serpent shapes that hiss around Grow huge in the deepening shades. And failing and faint — those limbs but now Scarce mortal in their power, Like the bodies the laws of the Api* allow But life for a stated hour. As a corpse when the spirit is fled, As a spear from a hand when the life is o*er, The Sorcerer drooped his head, And dropped on the darkening floor. Then, by the last blue ray Of the flame, while the Serpents creep With a fainter hiss to the wall — away, And curl to their broken sleep, — Each brother beheld the other's face, And shudderingly scanned it o'er ; Such change had been wrought in that fearful place, That he scarcely could note a single trace Of the features he knew before ! * The condemned. END OF BOOK THE FMST. BOOK THE SECOND. INTRODUCTORY LINES TO BOOK THE SECONB,' TO THE RIGHT HONOURABLE THE LADY — - BEFORE HER MARRIAGE. Fair girl, whose very name to me Recalls that earliest dream of love, Now fixed into a memory That points like spires above ; — I love to think her name is thine, Fair girl, and I at times can trace A look like hers a moment shine On thy yet lovelier face. But Wealth and Power before thine eyes, Their flowers— shall they too wither ? — strew ; Thy lot hath all that worldlings prize, And her lot never Imew. Thou enterest on a stage, in sooth, Which few so fair unscathed may tread, And pardon, when it notes thy youth, DeUght if dimm'd with dread. How well — how well, when yet a boy, I saw it rise — ^I can recall iS THE SIAMESE TWINS. [bOOK II. An orb of glory and of joy, Of which thyself but saw the fall. What form wore love so lovelily ? Hers was the Virgin-mother's air! And in her brow — and calmest eye — How brightly slept the angel there ! She was a thing, like thee, that seemed Almost too glorious for desire ; And all of which Romance had dreamed, Tamed all that passion meant to fire. Look round — and where the bright— the holy — The Dawn star ? — fallen from its skies ! xlnd apter vice and craftier Folly, Where nobler Natures weep — despise. And Fashion smiles upon the crime. But frowns in wrath on the revealing; And naught save Silence, Memory, Time, Are hers, to whom a world was kneeling I Ah ! doth the sin deserve the sting To gorge all Malice with her shame I And feel her glory grown a thing That Fops affect a scorn to claim ? And Thou, fair lady of my line, Sweet Namesake of my heart's recorded. Thou, too, art doom'd at least to shine Where naught save Art can be rewarded. In that false world to which thou 'rt chained. Who sins not, is too tame to reign ; And Custom in an hour hath gained. What Vice for aye had stormed in vain. And duller, colder sins shall mar The gloss upon thy spirit's pinion ; This sorcerer World but makes the star It most invokes, the most its minion. And all the pleasures which possess thee But dim thy heart while they caress thee ;-— INTROD.] THE SIAMESE TWINS. * And Truth will lose her virgin beauty ; — And Art shall mould itself to Duty ; — And all that Fashion bids thee follow Leave Love foresworn and Friendship hollow. I would not meet thee when some years Have taught thy heart how folly sears, And trifles now so tempting frittered Away the youth they but imbittered ; When all our fancies most adore, Cling round that joyous form no more ; When the still graces of the cheek Forget the soul's soft tale to speak. Nor would we seek to learn that tale, Nor court the coy thought from its veil, As one who with a charmed soul Hath lurked within some faery knoll. And borne to grosser earth again. The memory of the bright domain — - As he — if wise— would ask no more That land — too lovely — to explore. Lest, as we read in faery story, The realm should wither from its glory. And all nurs'd now in worship — fleet. And prove delight was but deceit. So would 1 throne my soul's romance. Above the reach of Time and Chance, So — as a new-blest lover keepeth Sweet watch the wliile the lov'd one sleepeth ;- So watch' d — so unawaked should be. The rare and lovely dream of thee. So cling my haunted thoughts unto it, — But shun the madness to renew it. But come — our robe aside we fling, And quit the Sage's mimic seat. Too glad in humbler guise to sing No solemn measure at thy feet — D3 70 THE SIAMESE TWINS. [bOOK II.| Too glad if thou wilt deign to feel, When softer chords are touch'd, tho' lightly ; Or, if our livelier satire steal A smile from one who smiles so brightly — > Too glad if thou wilt not despise A tale that boasts no charming ' Giaours^ A strain that mingles smiles with sighs, Nor always smothers sense with flowers — Too glad if thou but gently blame The simple string that ties our posies, Tho' violets take their wonted name, And rouge is banished from our roses — Too glad if thou the faults forgive, Which harsher eyes will judge severely ; And if within thy memory live One line of His — who lov^ thee dearly ! BOOK THE SECOND. ^^ ^ CHAPTER I. ARGUMENT. The admirable discretion of the author — Policy of conceit — The brothers arrive in England — Hodges's announcement of that event in the " Morning Post" — The Twins exhibited — The i?ensation they create — Sir Astley Cooper's friendly proposal — Divers others— Fashion, her orijjin — Chang finds time for his studies — The effect they ha e on him — Kodges's honesty — Scene between Chang and Ching — Their resolve — Descrijitioii of Mary — Chang's soliloquy. BOOK THE SECOND. CHAPTER I. Among the thousand virtues which Are only found in my possession, I think I 'm singularly rich In that — the best of all — ^Discretion. Not less in letters than in action, I know the golden mean to keep, What scene to dwell on, or what fact shun, And where to gallop or to creep. This truth I blush not to repeat, 'T is policy to have conceit.-— Assurance too (in Greek* you '11 see it), is Confess'd " the greatest of the deities." The Twins, 't is needless then to say, Made with the Seer no idle stay. I leave you to conceive their walk To Bancok on the following day ; And will not bore you with their talk, Or meditations, by the way. Moreover, since it is decreed. Our brothers are for Britain bound, * '"Si lUY^Wv T'^v 6e(ov vvv over 'Avat(5££«.— MENAN. 74 THE SIAMESE TWINS. [bOOK II. I think you '11 own there is no need To crawl by inches o'er the ground. The parting — wishes- — prayers — ^hopes — fears, Were all remarkably pathetic — Poor Ching was quite dissolved in tears, But Chang was ever an ascetic. The clouds within him rarely grew Into his eyes, becoming pluvious — I skip a simile quite new, About the snow around Vesuvius. Because my Muse, although no syren, Is honest, nor purloins from Byron ; Nor any likeness, to be plain, knows Between fine feelings and volcanoes. The lady moon, the gentle stars. The blue seas breaking into spars — The stroll on deck when heaven is dark, The sport of bobbing for a shark — Prayers — sickness — storm — calm — land — starvation, Great deep — grand thoughts — and British nation Riding old Neptune like a charger. While patriot hearts grow justly larger ; Are not these things already shown In Marryat's novel, " The ling's Own," In Cooper, Byron, and in dingy Volumes of voyages to Ingee ! The sea part, then, I reckon over, Just let you eat a steak at Dover, And then, as town begins to fill, I Land you at once in Piccadilly. The third day after they had entered London, of Nash and Cash the boast, Hodges this paragraph adventured (As herald) in " The Morning Post." CHAP. I.] THE SIAMESE TWINS. 75 *' We hear the famous Mr. Hodges, " Who wrote of Tactoo the description, " Is just arrived in town, and lodges " At present in the Hall Egyptian. " With him two wondrous creatures he " Has brought, we understand, from Siam, " Which all the world will flock to see, " And much the sight will edify 'em. "Two boys that have together grown, " Across the breast joined by a bone ; " Of the facxilty, invited gratis, " Each gentleman we beg to state is ; " Already Messrs. Cooper, Brodie, Gee, " Lawrence, and Vance have seen the prodigy-"— " Declared it can be no deceit, " And sworn the sight was quite a treat. " This — notice towards them to divert is meant, " See for particulars advertisement. " N. B. In such a way they 're joined, " As not to shock the most refined." The public then were disengaged — No Lyon in especial raged, For Poetry there was no passion. All Politics were out of fashion ; The last new Novel, called " The Peerage," Had fallen flat upon this queer age. No Kings were going to Guildhall, No Dukes were " trembling to their fall ;" Both Charles and Charleys lived in peace, No Philip there — here no Police. Serenely thieved the nightly prigs. And placeless walked the pensive Wliigs, Time frowned not — and the disrtant storm Slept dull on that dark sea — Reform. 76 THE SIAMESE TWINS. [bOOK II. — In such a dearth of conversation, Judge if our Twins caused some sensation. From ten to five o'clock each day, There thronged to see them such a bevy^ Such cabs and chariots blocked the way. The crowd was like a new King's levee. Sir Astley bid high to secure them, To cut up when the spring was o'er ; He had, he begged leave to assure them, Cut up " The Skeleton," before. 'T was much, they 'd see if they reflected. To be with care and skill dissected ; And if next year they would prefer — he Was not at present in a hurry. Old Crock much wanting then some new Good speculation, tried to steal them : While Lady ^the famous Blue — Gravely requested leave to feel them.* Pettigrew said he 'd keep a nice Glass case on Saturdays exposed for them. And Mrs. * * *, Avho 'd married thrice. With great civility proposed for them. But thanks to Hodges, all these perils They 'scaped unhurt— foY thus the state Of man is ever ! when we fear ills. Heaven saves us from the menaced fate ; Except the few not worth a better, a Handful of hang'd, drown'd, burnt, et cetera. Meanwhile with every day increases, The fashion of the brother pair; * Conversing once with a Blue of some celebrity, I had the mortification of perceiving that she was all the while peculiarly restless and fidgety. At length, she said witli considerable naiveU, "Excuse me, I must go and feel that gentleman." Accordingly, with great gravity, she walked up to a hand- some foreigner, and, avowing herself a disciple of Spurzheim, requested leave to feel his head. I remember that the handsome foreigner was not a little disconcerted, for he was a great beau and he wore a wig. CHAP. L] the SIAMESE TWINS. 77 Fashion, that haughty quean that fleeces Her lovers with so high an air. I think on earth that Jove did drop her, a Danseuse from the Olympian opera ; — Sent, first to glitter, and to gladden us ;— Next, to attract, allure, and madden us ; Thirdly, to ruin each beginner In life, content with that — to win her ! But when he 's bought the jade's caresses, He finds the charm was — in the dresses ! While Jove on high beholds, methinks, The new-blest suitor's melancholy, Applauds the cunning of the minx. And chuckles, at the green-horn's folly. ^ In every painter's shop one sees Neat portraits of " The Siamese ;" And every wandering Tuscan carries, Their statues cast in clay of Paris. Those statues sell in such a lot. They play the deuse with Pitt and Scott ; In vain aloft upon the board, Indignant looks- the poet lord; Unsold, Napoleon now may doze. And out of joint's his conqueror's nose, Money flocks in, with such profusion, The doorkeepers are all confusion ; " For breathes there one with soul so dead, " Who never to himself hath said," When fashion governs all the town, " Oh, who 'd think twice of half-a-crown !" Yet mid this whirl of pounds and pleasure Chang found for reading ample leisure ; Indeed, the day 's a sort of beast. Of which the body is the least ; 78 THE SIAMESE TWINS. [bOOK II. The head and tail let study seize — And with the rest do what you please ! But now, a new delicious source Gushed on his mind's enlarging course : The mingled and the mighty store Of our land's language, and its lore ; Our sturdy reasoners' vigorous themes, Our golden poets, and their dreams ; And His divine and wondrous page Who walked Creation as his stage ; — With these, his restless fancy blent. The legends of less deep romance. Where wisdom's bow is lightly bent. And Truth 's the conquest of a glance. Where, more than all, the dazzling kings Of every climate rule the story, Where love and fame unite their springs, And Beauty yields herself to Glory. Such studies scarce could feed his heart, ■ Nor grow his thoughts' most cherished part. And hence, perchance, he learned, for Fame, And Love,' too bright a throne to frame, And too repiningiy to chide The fate wliich such to him denied. And shall I — can I — say — too brightly His fancy bodied forth his dream Of woman— whom his land so lightly Had taught his boyhood to esteem. He clothed that image in whate'er Romance had pictured as most fair. And Thought with life the statue warmed, And his soul worshipped what it formed : — CHAP. I.] THE SIAMESE TWINS. 79 That image from the Cyprian's madness, How worn soe'er in every strain, Ne'er served to shadow forth a sadness, A fantasy, more wild and vain. All he had learn'd, in short, had fathered All that 'twere well could he forget; The fruit of knowledge had been gathered, And its firs I taste to hini — regret ! Tho' Hodges was nor wise nor merry. Honest and true he was, and very ; He kept the accounts with faith, — miwilling To rob our brothers of a shilling — > And now they really seemed preparing, Shortly to grow as rich as Baring ; When Fate, who meant them not for bankers, Saved them from wealthy care and cankers — Ere their gains took too large addition, she Turned short and checked them at sufficiency. One evening when the whole day long Our Twins had entertained the throng, Chang felt so poorly and oppress'd (Of late his spirits had been low). That, ere their Avonted hour of rest, To bed he was obliged to go. Poor Ching, who was, with shouts of laughter, Playing at draughts with Hodges' daughter (Of whom my muse a sketch prepares), Was snatched away, and walked up stairs, And (sleep the last thing in his head) Coolly deposited in bed ; But Chang was restless, nor could close His eyes — a fretful fever burn'd him ; And just as Ching began to doze, Chang upside down abruptly turned him 3 80 THE SIAMESE TWINS. [bOOK H. Served thrice in such provoking fashion, Ching bounced at last into a passion : " Zounds ! Chang," he cried, " I do assure ye, " Your starts would rouse a Bramin's fury ; " Tho' you may think I 've not a nerve, I " Must beg you to yourself will keep. " No man can thus be topsy-turvy " Turned, when he 's settling into sleep. " You may be ill — I do n't deny it, " But other folks, when ill, are quiet." " Truly," said Chang, " 't is most fraternal " To fall upon me in this way, " I 'd like to know if this infernal " Climate kill me — what you would say? " I fear worse things to you might hap, " Than posture changed, or broken nap. " Perhaps you would not long survive — you " Might then — well, well, may God forgive you !" Softened by this appeal, poor Ching Grasped Chang's hot hand, and whimpering Answered — " Indeed, my dearest brother, " It was a monstrous thing in me " My selfish murmurings not to smother— " But pray cheer up, and you will be " As well as ever in the morning. " Meanwhile I promise to take warfiing ' From all my past infirmities ; " And, if it give you any ease, " Pray kick as stoutly as you please." Here then a little scene ensued,- — For ever, where there lurks affection. No love like that which follows feud, And bears with kind remorse connexion. CHAP. L] the SIAMESE TWINS. 81 And when 't was over, and a brief Silence had given to each relief, Chang cleared his throat and thus confided To Ching the scheme for which he sigh did; " I 'm sure, dear Ching, you feel like me, " How hard a thing it is to be " Teased, worried, questioned, pulled about, " Stared at and quizzed by every lout, " And give a right to all the town " To laugh at us for half-a-crown " Hodges of course can feel no shock ;— ^it " Is fun for him to fill his pocket : " And, still so long as he can fill it, he " Heeds not our wounded sensibility. " I grant, my Ching, that for a while, " This pack-horse state we might abide* " And Wealth's soft hope might reconcile " To every gall the skin of pride. " Whispering * from out these very stings " * Your future independence springs.' But, now wealth 's won ! there but remaina " To enjoy betimes our hard-earned gains. " Slight is the forfeit, to forego " The honours of the rareeshow. " And sure of all our wants require, " Renounce the monster, and retire !" " Upon my word," said Ching, " 't is strange " It ne'er occurred to me, this change ; " But, now you mention it, I see a " World to admire in your idea ; " To-morrow, 'gad, we '11 make them all dumb " By cutting this confounded thraldom. ** We '11 claim old Hodges's account, " Keep house upon our share's amount : 83 THE SIAMESE TWINS. [BOOK 11. " Go here, go there, consult our ease, " And do exactly what we please ; " Indulge in draughts, minced veal, and whiskey, " And — split my wig — but we '11 be frisky !" " What deep," continued Chang, " what still " Delight, this great world to survey ; " To rove its thousand paths at will, " And find a truth in every way ! *' To trace the springs by which are bow'd, " Or rais'd, in turn, the obedient crowd, " As shifts the custom midst them thrown, " Without one impulse of their own. " To view the mighty map of man " Before the kindling gaze unfurled ; " And, line by line, to track the plan — " " In short," cried Ching, " to see the world I" Thus talk'd the Twins, until the dew Of life, sweet slumber, o'er them grew ; When lo ! a light beneath the door- — And hark ! a footstep on the floor — And softly towards the brothers' bed, With shaded lamp, and hushing tread, A charming vision stole ; — its form Was light, yet lovely as a fairy ; But human beauty, rich and warm. Hung o'er the cheek its glowing charm — 'T is their host's daughter — Mary ! How holy woman's youth — ^while yet Its rose with life's first dews is wet — While hope most pure is least confess'd, And all the Virgin in the breast ! O'er her white brow, wherein the blue Transparent vein seemed proud to bear CHAP. I.] THE SIAMESE TWINS. Sd The warm thoughts of her heart — unto The soul so nobly palaced there ! O'er her white brow were richly braided The tresses in a golden flow ; But darkly slept the lash that shaded Her deep eye, on its lids of snow. What could that magic eye inspire ? Its very light was a desire ; And each blue wandering of its beam. Called forth a worship and a dream ; The soft rose on her softest cheek Had yet the sun's last smile to win : But not the less eaeh blush could speak How full the sweetness hived within. The rich lip in its bright repose Refused above its wealth to close, And mid the coral and the dew. The pearls all freshly glistened thro', And round that lip, in dimpled cell. The smiles that wreathe enchantment dwell— Waked by a word — and yet revealing A witness less of Mirth than Feeling — Rounded her glorious shape : — tho' mute Died Echo round her fairy foot, Tho' small as childhood's was the band That lightly clasp'd her graceful vest. And though so slight her tempting hand, You hid it while you press'd. Yet formed the hills her robe controll'd In Love's most ripe luxuriant mould. Not in more swelling whiteness sails Cayster's swan to western gales,* ' • ' * The reader will remember the passage in the Hymn attributed to Anacreon— "At£ tis KrjKvoiKavapy IloXtoij iTT£po2ai //Attwv 'At5£/ioi) crvvavXov hx^v- Md also perhaps a passage in Nazianzen (Orat. 34), for which I myself am 84 THE SIAMESE TWINS. [bOOK IL* When the melodious murmur sings Mid her slow-heav'd voluptuous wings. And never on a breast more formed For lofty dreams — yet low devotion — More tender, or more truly warmed With all which lights — yet guides — emotion ; More fitted in the evil day To be Man's solace and his stay ; Never on breast more rich in aught That comforts grief — but heightens thought — Did lover rest, and feel the earth Had faded round him into dearth — That Fate was baffled ; and that Change Had lost the wish — the power to range ; And all the world — its hopes — its charms — Its Future — shrunk within his arms ! O Woman ! day-star of our doom — Thy dawn our birth — thy close our tomb, Or if the Mother or the Bride, Our fondest friend and surest guide ; And yet our folly and our fever, The Dream — the Meteor — the Deceiver — Still, spite of sorrow — wisdom — years — And those — Fate's sternest warners — -tears — Still clings my yearning lieart unto thee. Still knows no wish like those which woo thee, Still in some living form essays To clasp the bright cloud it portrays ',- — And still as one Avho waits beside, But mav not ford, the faitliless tide — indebted to Mr. Jodrell, in his Illustrations of the Ion of Euripides, and wbicli I transcribe from that work. Ttf h KVKvo} cvvv Keeps to itself the retail license. Yet will dear spite from such restriction Escape sometimes to works of fiction ; ! And if 4;o facts I now must grovel — Why — -only buy my next new novel [ And Silence through the lamp-lit streets Hath left man's dwellings to the fairies ; — Save when some cat the wanderer meets Glides thro'- — what Betty calls- — the airies* Then on the ear of midnight grew, The cadence of the varying mew ; " It rose — that chanted, mournful strain — *' Like some lone spirit's o'er the plain. " 'T was musical — ^but sadly sweet — ■"* Until in answer to the call You heard some feline Juliet greet Its little Romeo from the wall. Then wildly changed the note of feeling., And softness sharpened into squealing. * « Siege of Corinth," 1. 223-5. 116 * THE SIAMS&E TWINS. [bOOK H* Ev'n as in Melmoth's mighty tale 'T is told, how~of the Power of Evil- Aerial music did not fail To play — ^before he played the devil! The chimneys in the shining air, Look desolate and lone, Like ruined Schemes, they wonder where Their pretty smoke hath gone. x\non from some high room you see The calm light of the taper. By which, perchance-— some bard like me, Stamps glory into paper. Thee, Knowledge, thirsting to inherit, What nights have I outwatched the stars ! And dream'd I might inhale thy spirit, Through silence, and my loved cigars ! While to the gorgeous tide that rushed To Pleasure charioted below, Shook the lone chamber — lone and hushed — Where cast the wizard lamp its glow, Some time o'er such high theme of thought, As that to Earth by Wisdom taught ; Or, some time, when in dreamy mood, I watch the dim thought glide Through the shut spirit's solitude, In a lazy and motelike tide. nights !— -O solitudes ! — what deep Delight, and pure, were drank from you ! Ne'er from my boyhood's golden sleep. Such dreams of glory grew ! If I could pour what I have felt, O' Knowledge, with its burning prayer. When to thy shrine my heart hath knelt ; — •'-"" ■' "If I could to the world declare^, CHAP. III.] THE SIAMESE TWINS. 117 One tithe of that which hath the power To fill with speech my lonely hour ; One whisper of the wondrous voices, In which the unwitness'd soul, rejoices ;— Oh, if But fated in their birth, The first born of our feelings perish ; And later thoughts that cling to earth. Our earthly natures only cherish. And if at times within the breast, The Unseen Habitant is stirr'd, And chafes against its narrow rest Like some imprisoned bird; Back to its sullen home, repress'd, We curb too well the pining guest ; Until, all reconciled and tamed. It loves the bars which fate hath framed ; Yea ! in the very face of day Content with customed slavery, sings. And, calm'd within its cage of clay, Forgets its skies and folds its wings. 'T is night ! and through the streets is going The worthy Hodges, homeward bent. Not overmuch, I fear me, knowing His own most rational intent. He had been joining, you must know, A public feast at Cuffs* and Co. ; And — mixmg politics with mirth — Spouting at large on English worth ; But speaking when conjoined with drinking. Confuses, while it shows, one's thinking. The way was long to his abode. Nor sought he out the shortest road, * Freemasons' Tavern. F3 118 THE SIAMESE TWIKS. [bOOK II. See ! how he's rolling Now, to and fro, Fitfully trolling A ballad or so. Such as drop out of the lip of good fellows, When those windfalls of wisdom, wine suddenly mellows' " 'T is glorious to sing dithyrambics divine, " When the spirit is struck with the lightning of wine ;'^ So Archilochus cried when good drink was a deus (Ah ! those ancients were jolly dogs), see Athenaeus. By Bond-street blundering, mark him now— He stops — looks up the street — a row ! A row, by martyr'd Charles, the cherished Patron of nightly Charlies, perished ; The first great Charlie, who 'd the vcZ^ To guard the street — ^but rob the house ; Who rattled with the louder zeal, 1 The more his own dark schemes were hatching ; And helped — the cunning rogue ! — to steal The goods he claimed his pay for watching. A row — a row ! — run, Hodges, run. To patriots fighting 's always fun ! He runs — he jumps — ^he scours — he flies ! " Britons ! what odds are these ?" he cries, As dim and distant he can yet view, 'Gainst one or two a desperate set-to. Oh, haste ! oh, haste ! you caimot guess Whose woes, whose wrongs you may redress Perchance, much greater were your pucker. Did you forebode whom you would succour. False fate — you moral Delilah, Thank heaven, we all know what you are ' CHAP. III.] THE SIAMESE TWINS. 119 And now just see, you spiteful kitten, The way you served our worthy Briton ! *From right to left, not quite bereft Of all sense of the perpendicular, His path he takes : he nears the row- He sees the watchman's garb — and now Their words grow plain, and more auricular. Oh ! is he yet in time to save ? His feet the kennel's waters lave ! Another stride — alas ! 't is vain ! Reel nerve and heart — reel sight and brain ! And where the mire the thickest lodges. Oh ! heaven — procumhit humi Hodges I Gone is the bustle, reader, where Th& muse may by-and-by declare ! Gone is the bustle — still and quiet, Time's courier hours perform his fiat ; And Hodges sighs — he stirs — he sneezes ! The act his memory somewhat eases ! Naught like a sneeze to fillip sense. When sleep steals o'er us, God knows whence ; So, if our history hath not fix'd your Vigilance — N. B. get your mixture. Well, Hodges wakes — stirs— shakes his ears, And up he staggers ! He stands and thinks ; the dim past rushes Into his mind ; — I hope he blushes ! And with a trembling hand he brushes The dirt that to his garb adheres ; — And then away briskly the patriot swaggers. Your wine, i' faith, 's a wondrous prober Into the cranium's real powers ; * " From right to left his path he cleft," &c. The Bride of Abydos* 120 THE SIAMESE TWINTS* [bOOK O. Some are Mo days in getting sober- Some somid as ever in two hours. Hodges was of the latter species ; Placebk repetitadecies 1 And now he 's at his own house-door — He knocks not, for he has a key ; uw. lit- He enters — in a moment more Upon the landing-place stands he ! A light streams thro' the threshold's chinks, And voices murmur low within it ! " The Twins not yet in bed !" he thinks ; " Suppose I join them for a minute !" This chamber — ^mind — the builder's art meant The drawing-room, or best apartment ; * Not made for Somnus and his quorum— This hint is to preserve deoorum ! Well, Hodges enters, and descries — O gods ! — O night ! — O unsnufFed' candle I *By which the astomided father eyes So singular a scene of scandal! That while by her soft hand the vile Deceiving young Lothario 's caught her, His Cousin does the time beguile. In kneeling to his blushing daughter. The Father stares — Fate no more killing Sight on a father's eye bestows, Than a young rogue, without a shilling, Courting his child before his nose 1 Ah ! at the view of such a lover, What visions of lost guineas hover t CHAP. m. J THE SIAMESE TWINS. 121 With what a muscular distortion One sees the expected marriage portion. The house set up — the yearly cradle- Mouths — for which he must buy the ladle. And oh ! — those bitter — bitter pills, ' Jack's schooling, and the butcher's bills ! Ah ! who 'd not rather, free from wife Or children, lounge a C celeb's life, Than pay for kisses, and for blisses, Not one of which sweet luxuries his is? Such were the thoughts, which, swift and hot, Through Hodges' cranium went full trot ; At sevens and sixes oddly pacing. Like donkeys cudgelled into racing. While he surveyed the lovers spitefully. Enjoy themselves so damn'd delightfully ! " Hollo !" he cried, " what are you after ?" Upstarts the youth — upstarts the daughter. The one remains erect, the other Just strives one fearful shriek to smother, Then sinks into her seat once more. With both her hands her face concealing, And her mute shame appears t' implore Your mercy for her wounded feeling. Which phrase, if less adroitly moulded, Means a dislike to being scolded. " You base young man — is this the way, sir, "My care, my kindness you repay, sir? " Seduce the affections, so unwary " And artless, of my daughter Mary ? " Out of my house, sir, not a word, " Your chaff won't catch so old a bird ! 122 THE SIAMESE TWINS. [bOOK U.'^ " Out'of my house, sir — Oh ! ungrateful, " How often here you 've had your plateM ! " How often — ^but — but 't is no matter ! *' Just look, thou base seducer, at her, " Is that the lady you 'd predestine " To plunge into a match clandestine. ' *' Sir, she 's my only child, and I " Can leave her rich, sir, when I die ; " And you, with scarce a single sous, " My heiress thus presume to woo. " I never heard such impudence, sir, " My home 's my castle — budge — trot hence, sir, " Zounds ! it is odd, indeed, in these " Blest islands, free as their own waters, " If we can't marry as we please " Our own confounded daughters ! " Sir, I 'm a freeman, and I fear " No dun's address — no man's eifrontery— < . " I pay, sir, forty pounds a year " In rates and taxes to my country. " Nor do 1, sir, one farthing care " What man is called his Grace ; " No ! I 'm a Briton, and can look " A lord, sir, in the face ; "And I intend, and can afford^ sir, " Her spouse himself shall be a lord, sir ! " So, Mr. Laneham, march — retreat — " She for your betters will be meat I" Succinct and clear, thus Hodges said — - He ceased, and sternly shook his head. His small eyes twinkled in their sockets — He buttoned up his breeches-pockets ; As if to say, " What these contain — them " You '11 never get, young Master Laneham." CHAP, m.] THE SIAMESE TWINS. 1 23 So stood he sour — austere — majestic ! " Oh ! home — sweet home !" — Oh, scene domestic ! Then Laneham, with a look, where sorrow Seemed something high from pride to borrow, First glanced where, just one pace apart. His Mary in her shame was sobbing ; Then curbed his brow, and chid his heart From its untimely throbbing ; And with calm gaze,, nor daunted, eyed The angry sire, and thus replied. " We loved each other since our birth, " An orphan I, had none beside " To love upon the lonely earth ; " And she, save thee and me, saw none " To pour her full heart's love upon. " We loved— and when thou wert away " In other lands for years to rove, " We saw each other, day by day, " And grew with every day our love ! " No treachery mine ! for well I knew " Her heart was like my own, ** And that had wound itself unto " One chord of life alone.= " To leave her — ^tho' to wealth — were worse " To her than Want's severest curse ; " And I ! in huts with her to live " Were worth all wealth — all worlds could give ! " And if I claim her now—I crave " No dowry save her love for me ; *' 'T is just that they who fortune brave, " Should bear the wants that they foresee. " But not that thou shouldst doom thy child " Through hfe in bitter thought to pine ; 124 THE SIAMESE TWINS. [bOOK 11. " If I — if I her peace beguil'd, " Oh ! make th' atonement mine ! " And I, through every change, will swear " To love, to cherish, to defend her ; " And recompense in love, whate'er " Of wealth for love ^he may surrender " He ceased — and Mary had withdrawn From her sweet face her veiling hands ; And Hope abruptly seemed to dawn O'er her pale cheek, and stay the fears That trembled in her spell-bound tears. But hard and harsh the father stands, And though within him might be lurking The milk of human kindness — naught Of yielding love or gentle thought Upon his rigid brow is working. When once a man's mind is resolved, 'T is useless to his heart appealing. You can't get through the leaves involved Around his artichoke of feeling. The Saint, who thought his child a catch, Wish'd her to make " a proper match ;" * He hoped perhaps a lord — a clever Member of Parliament, however ! So you may judge the youth was ill able To melt him by a single syllable. " Well ! have you done ?" was all he said* " Mary, your hand — we '11 go to bed. *' Excuse me, sir — you '11 find the door " Where you have found it, sir, before. " Your servant." With these words he took Poor Maiy by the hand, and pass'd CHAP. Ill,] THE SIAMESE TWINS. 125 Up Stairs — upon the youth one look — One look of anguish Mary cast. And then he was aione, Father and child were gone ! He stands with downcast eyes, Nor speaks, nor stirs ; His thought— hi|^ spirit flies To blend with hers ! Until, dissolved, the cold thoughts flow Back on his startled heart ; And with a quiet step and slow, •He turns him to depart.' . Then the harsh-tongued and desolate Sound of the closing door, Heavily rose where Mary sate. And taunts and chidings bore. Bore with so meek yet crush'd an air. That Hodges could not but forbear, ' To wound too deep so soft a breast ; And, as himself was very tired, He soon resolved that, till the morning, • All farther scolding, threat, and warning. Should kindly be suppress'd. He rose, and solemnly desired She 'd say her prayers and go to sleiep, And, begging also she 'd not weep Herself into the scarlet fever. He left — as we will also leave her. Change we the scene — To square, Au troisihne with the Muse repair. See in that room — the drapery 's blue — A little party met at loo : 126 THE SIAMESE TWINS. [bOOK II. Young — single — ^beautiful — in short, The veriest rose-buds of the court. Poor Lady Frances, you must know, Caught a bad cold some nights ago. And, freed awhile from courtly duty, At home behold the languid beauty, Whiling the tedium that attends On siclmess, with some bosom friends, And loosed from chaperons and mothers, Chatting on love and elder brothers. It makes one's heart beat to behold Sweet girls together uncontrolled ; Guileless but gay— -and though without us, Talking, dear creatures ! all about us. " 'T is I to deal — you saw their pearls— " I own I never liked those girls, " And yet the stupid men they charm. " Jane's head is good — but such an arm ! " What made her like that Mr. Frere, " The odious man — what ! diamonds, dear ? • " So George will marry Bell, they say — " Poor thing ! — ^he 's been extremely gay ; " I own it gave me great surprise—* " He 's handsome ! — Yes — such charming eyes | " The Duke at first refused consent, " But Bell upon the match was bent — " He 'd scarce a sous 1-— was that the rub — " What made him live so well ? — a club. *' Well, they '11 be happy, for he sings *' Such songs — she wears the prettiest things ! " With great economy they '11 do — " They 've hired Lord Henry's house at Kew, " Love ev'n the poorest couple blesses, " And Carson makes the prettiest dresses. CHAP. niT] THE SIAMESE TWINS. 137 "Is that the deuce 1 — fie, love — ^the tiao ! ^ «0 Lord!" — here shrieks appal the hearing, For at the casement to their view, A deuce-like two indeed appearing ; One face gay, grinning with delight, The other sad and grave as night- Yet both in dusky hue alike, And strange, uncouth, outlandish features — • Enough, in real truth, to strike ' Some terror into those sweet creatures. . Half in the room, and half without, < They pause a moment as in doubt ; Not so the damsels — through the door Each strugglmg to be first, they pour; And really it was quite heart-breaking To hear so sad a waste of shrieking. Such sounds, if lavished on the stage. Had made e'en merit quite the rage. Scarce more terrific, or more loud. The clamour of the Bromian crowd, "When Pentheus, as old tales recount. Lay hid on gray Cithaeron's mount. And strove, rash monarch ! to discover What ladies do— when half seas over ! So — there arrested in amazement. Still pause our Brothers at the casement. Quoth Ching, at last — " Upon my soul, " I think her conduct vastly droll, *' Perhaps her feelings quite betray'd her, " At such a public honour paid her. « What think you ?" Chang, serene and cool. Replied — " O Ching, you are a fool ! " Enough I 've how in sober sadness, " Conceded to this shallow madness. 128 THE SIAMESE TWINS. [bOOK H. " Come — 'danger dwelleth in delay, " Retreat we safely while we may." " You 're quite enough to make a maa swear," Cried Ching — when suddenly his answer Dies on his lips, as half a score Of menials rush within the door. The butler, who leads on th' assault, Wheels round, and shouts in thunder, " Halt !" While to the dread of each beholder, Comes up his musket to his shoulder. He lays his finger on the trigger, And mutters out — " By Jove — a Nigger !" By butlers shall their blood be shed ? Slap went the window, down each head. The menials to the lattice run— The butler points below his gun — All look without — no Twins are there ! Like witches, have they turned to air ! " Run, John, the yard below explore — " You, Thomas, fly to the front door !" They ran, they searched, they stared, they gaped In vain — our heroes have escaped. Love stretched her cloud, my Twins, o'er ye, as She stretched it once o'er good ^neas. How 'scaped they thus from being shot there ? First sing, sweet Phoebus, how they got there ! Well then, this window, reader, know. Looked on the unwatched yard below ; It was a corner house, and (bearing Some few doors round) was one repairing, A scaffold used whose walls in mending. Had served our brothers for ascending ; Then creeping round the leads, they gain The house which love will storm in vain, And reach, by cords from roof suspended. The window where the journey ended. CfiAP. HI.] THE SIAMESE TWINS. 129 So when Fate bade them fly the foe, Their course was upward, not below. Trained from their earliest years to climb, They seized the rope, and swung sublime, While, unsuspicious of this soaring. The foes beneath were all exploring. 'T was thus the enemy they baffled, Retracked the leads, regained the scaffold, And, tarrying till the search was o'er. Won terra Jlrma as before. You '11 own that these the sort of fellows That make old husbands devilish jealous. Now, as they wander, Ching declares, He has no notion of such airs ; That coyness may a maid be suiting, But not when once it comes to shooting ! That that event hath sealed her sentence, And he will leave her to repentance, To wet with pining tears her pillow. Recall his love, and wear the willow. But Chang no answer gave — inurned Within his breast a fever burned. And all, or light, or gay, or vain, But reached the sense to rouse disdain. And more than all it seemed to sting When Ching's allusions served to bring A closer, keener memory Of the loathed nature of their tie. Howbeit, Ching, I 've always heard. Preserved his wrath and kept his word, And sternly left to other chances Of love and conquest. Lady Frances — . Wherefore beware, ye girls who charm us, How you're alarmed, or how alarm us ; BO THE SIAMESE TWINS. [bOOK II. Nor if you wish for life to suit us, Send men — you take the hint — to shoot us ! And now our brothers Bond-street enter ;— Dear street of London's charms the centre ! ^ Dear street ! — where at a certain hour Man's foUies bud forth into flower ! "Where the gay minor sighs for fashion ; Where Majors Hve that minor's cash on ; "Where each who wills may suit his wish, Here choose a Guido — there his fish : — Or where, if woman's love beguiles, The ugliest dc^ is sure of smiles. Dear street of noise, of crowds, of wealth, Of all Earth's thousand joys — save health. Of plate, of books — and (I incline a Little that way) of old Sevres china. Of all, in short, by which pursuing, We glide entranced to our undoing ; Lounge through each mixed and motley blessing Of loving, dining, driving, dressing — Despise expense and sober fools. And wake at last — within the Rules ! Ay, just by that buck-haunted house, Where well the cheer atones the chouse ; Where not a thing by palate polish'd. Can e'er in safety be demolish'd. While the bill items, to your sadness, The outrageous taxes paid to badness ; Counts all your hungers, if eschew'd Your prudence the untempting food, Or if you, greatly daring, dined. The damn'd dyspepsia 's left behind. Well — just by that renowned hotel WTiere whiskered Tigers grimly dwell, CHAP. III.] THE SIAMESE TWINS. 131 Where noble and his Dolly Bask in the dung of vulgar folly. Where the mustachio'd sharpers shun ^he guU'd friend, as the greedy dun. Where Slang exalts his belcher'd nob, And the smug waiter is " Dear Bob."* Well, just by this divine abode, A group of Cynthias block'd the road : iJVo sooner did they see our two, Than pounce on them the lasses flew ! Perchance they fancied, if short-sighted, Two things that seemed so close united — Might be old R — th — Id, amorous soul ! Taking with Three-por-Cents a stroll. Chang scowl'd upon them, grave and scornful- One maid engross'd his bosom mournful — But Ching stopp'd short, with sparkling features. And leering, cried, " What charming creatures !" To you, dear reader! I must leave The ladies' wonder to conceive, When they perceived they had got hold of The Twins they 'd been so often told of. While they were chatting and conferring, Chang vainly begg'd them to be stirring ; But finding Ching w^as deaf to preaching, Sullen he ceased from all beseeching. Folded his arms, and raised his eyes, And grew romantic on the skies. Heaven knows to what, or where, gay Ching Had sought the solemn Chang to bring ; Had not three heroes of the shop, Smith, Smythe, and Kin, pre-kin'd by Pop, * The waiter is accustomed to receive notes from gentlemen in " CYacfk Re- giments," borrowing 20i., and beginning " Dear Bob." 132 THE SIAMESE TWINS. [bOOK H. Warm from some revel nobly Bacchic, Halted amid these ladies Sapphic ; And Popkin — (ye have all heard tell Of Popkin, hatter, in Pall Mall — This Popkin is the eldest hope — The second brother deals in soap) — And Popkin took — O, dira fata I Freedoms with Ching-'s inamorata. Sudden Ching turn'd, his eyes on fire (Such things in Siam wrath inspire). And spluttering out some new-learn'd oath, Smote the bold Popkin on the mouth. " A ring ! a battle !" Popkin cries, And quite mistaking one for t' otherj Returns the blow on Chang's raised eyes — Raised — all superior to this " pother ;" Then Chang's wrath rose, he looked much troubled, And instantly /bwr fists were doubled : So fond we English are for dangers. And for abusive words preparing. That the twin arts we teach to strangers, Are always fistycufFs and swearing. St. George ! most dreadfld and most furious Would sure have been this combat curious, Had not, just as our brothers, finely Backing each other, squared divinely, Doubting whom first their strength should level, A shout, " The watch ! the watch !" arose, And in an instant, where the devil ?-— Yes — ^where the devil were their foes t The girls were fled, the men were flying, Popkin alone still stood defying ; But Popkin was a man long-headed. And blows his pulse had greatly steadied— CHAP, in.] THE SIAMESE TWINS. 133 The young Ulysses of his country, He mingled cunning with effrontery— So when he saw the invidious watchmen, Like human spiders made to catch men, Towards them he walked, and bade them note Blood on his mouth and muslin'd throat, Show'd the aggressors in the Pair, And gave them to the Charley's care — Smoothing away the watchman's qualms With three drops from the oil of Palms, Bid him then keep the brothers chary. For justice, and Sir Peter Laurie ; Swearing he 'd come, and, to their sorroWr Prove the assault in court to-morrow ; And quite, the watchmen to engage, Rouse them to sympathetic rage. And make them for his injuries feel, He gave his name as — " Robert Peel !" This done, he stalked away, — the fiat Of the stern watchmen did not find The Twins agreed to go in quiet To " ills they knew not of" resigned — They struggled long, they struggled hard ; Nor need'st thou now learn from the bard — It was the Brothers whom the brave But ill-starr'd Hodges failed to save. Behold them now within the keeping Of that — Night's rudest- — ward of sorrow; Around them Vice lies drouthly sleeping. And Misery, shivering, dreads the morrow ! Ah, this wrong world ! where'er we turn, Life finds the same too faithful mirror ; One penance everywhere we learn. Misfortune still confounds with Error* G 134 THE SIAMESE TWINS. [bOOK II. Let him whom Want hath proven, sit Alone in judgment on his fellows — Ev'n Blame, by true Experience lit. Grows warm, and to Compassion mellows. Mirth's well a graver Truth may boast Than aught which lurks in Melancholy ; And they who laugh at Folly most, Most often daunt the WoVld from Folly ! BND OF BOOK TflE SECOND BOOK THE THIRD. GZ INTRODUCTORY LINES TO BOOK THE THIRD. TO THE GRAVE. Hearken, O Grave ! beneath me lying ; Hearken — my heart shall speak to thee ! I know not whose the dust supplying Thy red and creeping progeny : No stone is there ; the swathing willow Curtains alone the Sleeper's pillow. ' But boots it who that couch may claim ? Thy homilies remain the same ! And round thee vibrates the unsolid And soft air with a moral deep ; And voices vague and disembodied, O'er thee a fearful vigil keep. Preacher and Prophet — to imbibe Thy lore, itself the spirit husheth. And swift and noiselessly, a tribe Of Dreams into the Silence rusheth. But dreams like his whose burning lips Reveal'd the dread Apocalypse, Glassing — -though in a troublous mirror-r- The dim but starry truths of Fate, Weird shadows of that World of Terror— Or Love — to which thou art the Gate ? Tell me, O Grave ! When to thy slave The black-robed laugher Death — 138 TIIK »IAME»E TWINH. [noOK HI. t And to ilio Air, Eartli, Firo, and Wave, Thitt pli(^H; TheMo 7mfi/ hav«! Hlin^M the l)(»H(Mn fe(dH, Hnt, h(! c-an eoiKiiier who eoncjials ; And (jod hath armour for th