! H The CONTROVERSY of the POWERS, a: a; LYLE L. eOLE, * « \" til- Ik & ^ I THE CONTROVERSY OF THE POWERS. «««««« ««« c.\'^oo^ [c^^:^::^ or cor.gVo«e; Iv^^ Copies RECFivf.o NOV 30 1900 SECOND COPY ORUtR DIVISION COI^VKIGHr 1 9 00 hv L. A. CULH. KAYKTTIC. UnVA. IOWA POSTAL CARD. AUTHOR'S NOTE. This little drama was written originally for Class Day presentation by the Upper Iowa University Class of 1900. Since its hasty preparation many instances have been noted where the text might have been improved, but for reasons not necessary to make public, it has been printed nearly as written, with the knowledge, however, that there are defects which might have been remedied easily. The "Powers" represented were England, United States, France, Russia, Germany,, Spain, Italy, Turkey, Japan, China, Porto Rico, Cuba and the Philippines, the four last named being represented by young la- dies, and the language used by each was written to harmonize in some degree with the actors' personality. The "Controversy" begins in the time just prior to the Spanish- American War, and continues through several incidents of international importance, including the Peace Conference and the "Open Door" diffi- culty in China. The drama has been printed merely to preserve in more permanent form that which was intended for an hour's diversion in college life, and it is the author's hope that those who chance to read it may not exercise their privilege of criticism too harshly upon that which he realizes might have been bettered. The Controversy of the Powers. Act 1. ScEXE 1. (Soliloqur by Spain.) Spaix: — In what a condition am I, proxid and once mighty Spain. Year by 5'ear, island b)^ island, my colonies have slipped away from me as a meteor vanishes down the skj'-. I fear the day approaches rapidly when I shall have no more colonies than has the g-reat Yankee pig- nation, which, although it boasts of its power, never own- ed a colony in its life. Power! What does the stick-whittling Yankee know of power? He has nothing but a few wretched ships, a few hundred tiinid soldiers who are sta- tioned thousands and thousands of miles from the coast, a paltry president and mil- lions of pigs. Can a pig fight? But I, I have Cuba, the Philippines and my honor. And though my colonies disappear, my honor can never be taken from me. Honor! What is honor? Caramba! It is that noble quality which — which— ah — ^belongs to me alone. Honor wins victoi-ies even though the victors be defeated. Honor is — is — mine, and mine alone. But while I am sitre of mv 2 The Co ntroversy of the Powers. honor, I am not so snre of mj' dear Cuban and Philippine islands. They are ver>' dear to me. I have spent much money and blood upon them. True, it was their money and their blood, but I spent it honorably, thanks to my honor. Yes, thej'- are dear to me. And Cuba, that colossal ingrate, that turbu- lent paradise of barbarians, that trebly con- quered island, refuses to submit to my just and equable laws. That is not all. She ap- peals to that detestable, whistling Yankee for aid. But I will keep her. I will crush her spirit, and give her more laws, and more taxes, and more governor-generals, and more ruin and desolation. For my honor shall not be sullied. As for that Yankee pig, I will bake him, broil him, stew him, grind him to powder, but I will never eat him. ( Uncle Sam appears, whittling.) Uncle Sam: Naw, I guess not. Oh you needn't try to look so innocent. I heerd ye. Spain: — The Senor is mistaken. He heard the wind, he — Uncle Sam:— You bet I did. That was all wind. But now see here, my honorable friend. I want to talk to you seriously. Can you not, without doing violence to that The Controversy of the Powers. 3 honor of yours, be a little more considerate of Cuba in her distressed condition? Do you not realize that Cuba has never had half a chance? Do you not see that the ej-es of all the civilized nations are turned upon you with entreaty, and upon Cuba with pity? We all — Spain:— Senor calls himself civilized, then? How can a pig-raiser be civilized? Uncle Sam: — Don't trouble your brain with questions too large for it, my sanguin- ary friend. What I want to know is this: Will you withdraw your soldiers from the Pearl of the Antilles and give her people more rights and privileges? Now, I don't want any "manana." about this. We must have an immediate understanding. We've talked about this before, and you promised this, and that, and a number of other things equally important, but somehow, your memory always failed you, and the things were never done. This decision you must abide by. Will you, or will you not? You, my doughtj^ Don, no doubt think the affair is none of my business. But I must inform you that as sure as there is a star or a stripe on the flying fabric of Old Glory I'll make it my business. 4 The Controversy of the Powers. Spain: Thf civilized Senor threaten:*, does he'r Uncle Sam:— No. By gravy, no. I inn stating- a fact. If a fact seems to you a threat, so be it. But the murder of linndrecl.s of innocent women and children before my verj' door, the inhuman treatinent of all Cubans and the demoralization of all in- dustry' upon the island, draw each drop of blood faster through mj^ veins in sj'mpathj' for the unfortunate victiins of a flint-hearted foe. You, sir, are that foe, and if you do not alleviate, at once, the suffering of a sorrowing people, withdraw your soldiery from the island and pledge 3'ourself to fair treatment in tlie future, I shall intervene. And that intervention will count. When I interfere I give my whole attention to inter- ference. SPAIN: — Senor Americano is not a pleas- ing speaker. His voice is much too loud and — ah — firm, and his diplomacy is not di- ploinacy. Uncle SAM:--This may be so, most ef- fulgent emissary of the evil one, but mark this; what I lack in that ability to lie fluent- ly and undeviatinglj'-, known to 5'ou old- world nations as diplomacj', I make up in The Controversy of the Powers. 5 ability to accomplish without lying-. What is it to be — peace or war? Spain: — Well, since Senor Americano chooses to express himself in this manner, I kiss his hand quite humbly and saj^ — (Cuba enters.) Cuba: — Uncle Sam, a fearful thing has happened. Read! (U. S. takes paper and reads.) "Havana, February, 16, 1898. 12:30 p. m. Battleship Maine blown up and de- stroyed tonight at 9:40 p. m. Ex- plosion occurred well forward un- der quarters of crew; consequence many were lost. It is believed all officers saved, but Jenkins and Merritt not yet accounted for. Cause of explosion yet to be inves- tigated." (U. S. to Spain): And so this is what you — Cuba (to U. S.^— Also read this: ('ZZS. reacfs^ "Suspend judgment. Sigs- bee." (Meditatively) "Suspend judgment." Yes, that is better. I must not be too hasty. But the thought of scores of my brave sail- or boys lying mangled in that foul pool at 6 The Contr oversy of the Powers. Havana nearly drives me to "loose the dogs of war" upon the cowardly aasaasin. For in my heart I- believe— he did it. (To Spain) You need not reply to my question. / re- serve the rig-ht todetermine whether it shall be peace or war. Spain: — Very considerate of Senor. Cuba: — ^To Spain) Though Uncle Sam may not say to you that he believes you re- sponsible for this misfortune, I say that I believe it a deed not beneath j'ou. I know your cunning- and treachery, your villainy masked by a smile. (Cuba recites poem.) (To Spain.) What were you doing, bankrupt Spain, Down in the baj' by Havana? Spreading ruin in j'our hostile train! Placing your mines, and with treacher- ous thought Plotting destruction to boats afloat In the sunny baj^ of Havana! (To U. S.) He planted the mines — the traitorous Spain, In the dank, dark bay of Havana, He planned the fate of thy battleship Maine, And the mangled sailors a-djang lay While all hope of life had fled away, In tliat deadlj' bay of Havana. The Controversy of the Powers. 7 (To Spain, and pointing to U. S.) But there on the shore is Uncle Sam, Scanning- the bay of Havana, Vowing such voavs as Uncle Sam can! That the cruel war and the dastard deed Shall be avenged and Cuba be freed! (To U. S.) This is the way, O Uncle Sam, The only way since war began To conquer Spain is with shell and shot, The only way to avenge the plot. There by the bay of Havana. (Meditativelj^) Revenge is sweet, indeed, when Maying heroes out of men Patriots cry " 'Remember the Maine' And the hearts that beat never more ag-ain," Down in the bay of Havana. {To U. S.) My people are fearless, O Uncle Sam, My people are unafraid. But weary of trusting the deeds of Spain They now^ beseech j^our aid. And weary of sating Spanish greed They now entreat that Cuba be freed! Uncle Sam: — Your entreaty shall not go unheeded. My young men are eager to aid you, and there are many of them. At my bidding they will swarm upon every hill-top and everj^ sunnj^ Cuban slope, with arms in 8 The Controversy of the Powers. their strong yoting liands and courag^e in their fearless liearts. They have learned the lesson of the i^ood Samaritan, and they will not pass b}' the helpless. Cuba: -Then you mean to drive this in- solent oppressor from the land of my peo- ple, and make them free? Uncle Sam:— It begins to look as if I most certainly shall. (Enter England, France, Germany, Ita- ly and Russia.) KXGLAND:— Brother Johnathan, we wish to speak with )-ou for a moment. We Euro- pean powers are agreed that it is a great pity for two nations to go to war in this advanced age of the world, and we ask if our services as mediators will not be accepted. Uncle Sam {duhiously):-Yon all want to act as mediators, do you? H — m — m. Well gentlemen I thank yon, but I can't stop to mediate. England: — You are determined on war then? Uncle Sam:— That is about the size of it. England: — We are very sorry. Still, we 'ave done our duty. Personally, Hi'm op- posed to war, (Takes U. S. aside) but give The Controversy of the Powers. 9 'im fits, cousin, and Hi 'opes you'll blow the bloomin' blackguard hout of water and hoff the earth. Uncle Sam {turning to Spain):— You here yet! Spain {bowling): — And so are nay friends. {Points to powers.) Uncle Sam:— Friends! You, Don, should know that national friendship is of- ten a ship without a rudder. But enough of this. I do not wish to detain you as your time must be very valuable. By the right of the strong to protect the weak, by the right of the fortunate to succor the fallen and by the right of the happy to dry the tears of the sorrowing, I here declare my- self. While there is a star fondly clinging within the folds of Old Glory, while there breathes a man whose heart falters not in battle, whose body is animated by the blood of a race who never yet lay down in defeat, and whose eye never feared to search the eye of an enemy, while Uncle Sam lives, no appeal of a neighbor for help shall go un- heeded. ttttitttttt 10 The Con tr oversy of the Powers. Act I. Scene II. (In ha ckgroun d Russia, Japa n, Philip- pines, China, Porto Rico, Cuba and Tur- key. In foreground France, Germany and Italy.) France:— What is it that we shall do, monsieiirs? Germany: — Mein frenta, I believe we are here to find out about making ourselves in the road mit America. France:— That is— ah vat you call him — ze intervention? Germany:— Ya, j'a, that is him. ITALY: — Most happy thought. We should give aid to our Spain or the Ameri- cano will make short his life. But is it well for us that we do many things to attract the attention of Senor Americano? Germany:— In itself that is bad enough, but what about England? If it should be that Johann Bull should gollect himself with us, sehr gut; if not, it would be some disagreeableness to us. To me it seems bet- ter to quiet keep and watch England. France: — Monsieur then has the great fear of the Briton? The Controversy of the Powers. 11 Germany: — Nein, nein. But it is better to wait and see. France: — And let the American con- tinue to destroy the men and ships of Spain? Italy:— Let us join and destroy the power of Senor who boasts of his war for humanity. Four against one is a good fight. Germany:— Und still there is England. ItaI/Y: — England dare not join with the Americano dog, for there is the Russian bear waiting for some event to engage the British attention, when he will make a great hunt into China and Turkey. Germany:— Then it would be war with all of us, bretty guick. France: — Let it be that we do nothing, then, since it is safer. ITALY: — And now is my brother afraid, — my brother in whose veins runs the blood of the conquerors of the world? France: — Oh, no. But so much is ae discomfort, ze noise, ze horror of war! Germany: — Mein frent, upon vot side you are? France (shrugs shoulders): — Ah, who knows. It is difficult, very, for me to tell, so many are ze doubts which seize me. 12 The Controversy of the Powers. ( Engla. n d en ters. Bo ira.) England:— Hi 'ope Hi see you well. What do my brethren disciiaar AlvL:— The War. England: — It is very interesting-, is it not? And yet very one-sided. Mj' noble cousin, Uncle Sam, is a great fighter. 'E breathes a few times, stretches out those long arms of 'is, and Spain 'as lost a fleet. 'E goes forward but one step, and Spain mourns for an army. What a great strug- gle it would be were he pitted against a great power-like myself. But that will nev- er be. Hi love him too well. (The three look at each other signiHcantlj'.) Besides 'e 'as the same blood as myself. Germany: — Better it would be for us not to step in mit ourselfs to stop this war? England:— Would it be better? Hon my honor, yes,. We 'ave all declared our- selves neutral. Shall we then break ovxr oath? That nation which does so must reckon with me, for as sure as Hi 'ope to see the sun rise tomorrow. Brother Johnathan's cause is just, and there must be no interfer- ence. ( England joins others in background. Enter U. S., mopping hro\v.) The Controversy of the Powers. 13 Uncle Sam:— Well, g-entlemen, I sup- pose you are interested in the success of my little war down in Cuba. The continuance of the conflict is being- marked by the same success as that which met my man Dewey, in Manila. That is comprehensive enough for anyone. I w^in w^herever I go. It won't take me long to finish puncturing this bub- ble that Spain calls his army and navy, and then, (turning to Cuba and Philippines) the Cubans and Filipinos will be given all the protection I can command, which will be followed by self-government as soon as they are ready for it. Germany: — Und how about my inter- ests? My ships have been stopped by that Dewey of yours, and yet they were flying those German flags. Is that some fairness mit me? Uncle Sam:— "Those flags can be bought anywhere for a half dollar a j^ard." I can't afford to take the chances of Spanish ships sailing into the harbor of Manila under German flags. I have been making this blockade as easy for everybody as I could, but I am managing the blockade. Any infraction of my rule will mean but one thing. That will be war. If you are ready 14 The Controversy of the Powers. for war withnie yoii can have it at any time. Gkkmaxy: - I fear tliere inu.st be some inistakennesH. Yoii don't understood me. UncIvE Sam: — I do understand and I mean what I say. Philippines:— Uncle Sam, my people wish to thank you for removinu^ from our shoulders the heavy hand of the Castilian. For years and years it has rested very heavi- ly upon us. The time when it was not can not be remembered. We have longed for relief and pra^'ed to our oppressor until our tongues grew tired in our mouths, and a scornful laugh and a heavier load was all the answer he gave. Under the cloak of re- ligion he invaded our ocean-locked homes, and scattered the seed of woe. We welcome you, and yet tangled in the web of thankful- ness to 3'ou, ovir deliverer, is the fear that you too will wear the garments of religion only for our undoing. We are not to blame for this fear. For centuries it has been a wear}^ road for the people of my country, and suspicion is our strongest feeling. Deal with us gently, and it may be that you will have great cause to rejoice for your kindness to a harrowed and hunted race. Uncle Sam:— Your words touch me The Controversy of the Powers. 15 deeply. Jvistice shall dwell in your islands, and the hand of Uncle Sam shall be stretch- ed forth to aid j'ou, not to oppress. But I must step out and superintend the battle of Santiago which will happen pretty soon. Would that I had Blanco's typewriter. Then wonld I win this fight without losing- a man or burning a pound of powder. (Exit U. S.) Phiijppixes:— Would that every war- ring- nation had such a typewriter, if it were blessed with such a power. Thei'e is no crime more cruel, no horror more hideous, no demon more destructive than the war which men wage against each other for selfish ends. And j^et, of all the wars known to man, that in which Uncle Sam is now en- gaged is the most unselfish and righteous. That he will be successful cannot be doubt- ed, for justice will v/in. That he may never have another, is iny dearest wish for him. May the time soon come when the clangor of weapons and the noise of powder burned in anger shall be hushed, and the great si- lence be broken only by the sound of bells tuned in universal harmon}^; when the dark clouds of strife shall be scattered and the world-wide path of war be illumined bj^ the sun of peace. 16 The Controversy of the Powers. Act I. Scene III. (Philippines, Cuba and Porto Rico in background. Spain enters.) Spain (sotto voce): — I perceive that my three former dependencies are holding an animated conference. It will not be dis- honorable to taunt and exasperate them now that they are under the control of the Yankee, who will no doubt be very success- ful in failing to fulfill his proinisesto thein. (Turning to them.) I pray you, how is it with the free and independent peo- ple of j'ovir islands? Does the fair pro- mise of the Americano fill you with joy un- alloyed? Or is there perhaps something to to be desired, even yet? But no. It cannot be. So magnanimous, generous and hu- mane a master can do no wrong to the peo- ple whose lands he inust soon control — for I must eventually submit to the rulings of an unpropitious fate, and surrender to the pig who fights — 3^es, fights well. Cuba: — It is strange to my ears to hear the haughtj^ Castilian admit that he has found his master! But a just God watches over the little peoples, even as He notes the The Controversy of the Powers. 17 deieds of the great, and though time may be long, His plan, little by little, nears its end. It is not an unpropitlous fate which has torn your bloody hand from our throats, but a just God. As to our pleasure in the change of masters, what does it matter to you? When before have you taken so deep an interest in our prospects? But this we can say. The Americano's promises can not be more false than yours. Philippines: — My sister speaks truly. We welcome any change, knowing it cannot be for the worse. Ah! Senor Don relishes not our words thrown full in his teeth. It is sweet to us that you are powerless to re- sent them. Many years of pain embitter the tongue. But the words spoken b}'^ it are sweet to the speaker when addressed to the author of the pain. Spain: — It is well for the free and inde- pendent peoples to talk thus while they may. But they should remember that a faint- hearted dog barks always in his own yard. Also should they remember that they owe many things even to me. Porto Rico: — For once the truth passes Senor's lips. It is to you that my sisters owe the suppression of all privileges, except 18 The Controversy of the Powers. perhaps the mere right to draw breath, — and that only when yon might profit by it. Cuba: — We owe to you idle factories, blackened ruins where homes were once, desolate fields, broken families, hunger, pov- erty, ignorance, misery and degradation — everj'^thing that robs life of its value. Not one pleastire, even a little one, was granted Its by you — to whom we "owe so much." Spain: — Much talking is wearisome to me. It is as the foam on the water, which serves no other purpose but to w^arn sailors of hidden sharp-toothed rocks. I will depart. (Enter U. S.) Uncle Sam: (to Spain)— li it is agree- able to mj' friend with the diplomatic mind, I propose that we stroll past the foam of words, which is so distasteful to hiin, and come at once to an ag'reement. I have noted, however, that when the words proceed from Senor's own lips he listens patiently and with approbation. Does he submit to the terms I proposed many days ago, or does he desire to play in the foam and the froth of much talking? Spain: — It is impossible that I submit to your demands — for I have forgotten their import. The Controversy of the Powers. 19 Uncle Sam {with despairing gesture): Well of all the lame, unreliable memories ever possessed by a diplomat, yours limps the most and fails the oftenest. I do not vmderstand how a thorough diplomatist can accomplish any great coo — coop — coo — de — tat under such distressing conditions. How embarrassing it would be if j^ou were to for- get to forget, and remember something you thought you had forgotten! Perhaps that is the test of diplomacy, however. Spain: — The Americano pleases to be in good humor. It is his privilege, having de- feated in war the most courageous soldiers beneath the sun, the most skillful generals the world has ever known, and the greatest nation which ever produced warriors and officers to lead them. Uncle Sam.-— Oh! Spain: — But the Americano fights rude- ly. Your men would have been defeated easily had they observed the customary for- malities of war. But no. They fought like barbarians, and after firing a volley, kept coming and firing and firing and coming till we were confused and forced to surren- der. Uncle Sam:— That's correct, Mr. Don. I 20 The Controversy of ttie Powers. don't wonder you object to our method of fighting. You have abundant cause to do so. Spain: — It is a pleasure to find that my friend agrees with me on one point. Uncle Sam: — We are straying from the subject. My terms are these: I'll take Cu- ba, Porto Rico and the Philippines and call it square. Spain:— Never! Then would my honor be lost. Uncle Sam:— Then I'll give you $20,000- 000 in return for the improvements in Ma- nila. Spain: — My honor is preserved, and I ac- cept your terms. Porto Rico: — No words are strong enough to express our gratitude to you, Un- cle Sam, for our liberation from a tjrant. But yet we must in some way attempt to in- dicate it to 5'ou, and whatever failure our words may make, our future endeavors may prove to you that we are gratef ill. As the warm Spring sun draws into being dormant life, so, we are confident, will the life-giving beams from the sun of your prosperity in- sure a steady growth and a certain har\'est of happiness to us and to you. The bleak The Controversy of the Powers. 21 winter of our colonial life has passed, and we enter now into the Spring. We hope for such advance as the seasons pass by, that when the winter comes again, with its dwarf- ing- breath, as it does to every people, and will to us, we may be so strong and stalwart that no serious evil will result. If it shall be so, we shall know it is due to you, Uncle Sam, our deliverer and protector. UncI/E Sam: — In time to come you shall have not only my protection, but what is better, protection by yourselves — in other words, self-government. I see in you the slowly ripening fruit from the tree of free- dom, the seed of which was long ago plant- ed in my land. Cuba: — We realize our weakness, and as yet merely hope that the day may soon dawn when the enjoyment of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness may be our portion. We hope to prove worthy of your confidence, and are assured of your sinceri- ty toward us. §tt§§a§ 22 The Controversy of the Powers. Act II. Scene I. (Peace Conference at Hague. Russia on stage soliloquizing.) Russia: — When I sent out my call for a peace conference, it did not occur to tne that the move was so unexpected that it would set all nations to talking and draw attention so closely upon myself — which was the one thing I wished to avoid. My re- cent large orders for ships, guns and am- munition, I thought, would draw the keen glances of all the jealous powers, and there- fore I issued my call for a conference. This, I fear, has attracted more notice than any other act I could have performed, and the whole plan now seems likel}^ to end in laugh- ter or ridicule. There is nothing left for me but to put on a bold front and carry out the idea as though in earnest. Perhaps some good will come of it. I may be able to blind some of my competitors for Chinese spheres of influence until I can increase ray strength enough to safely bid defiance to them. At any rate I hope for peace during the peace conference. The Controversy of the Powers. 23 (U. S. and England approach. They stop and converse.) Uncle Sam: — What do you think causes our Russian friend to so earnestly desire peace? England: — Desire for personal safety often leads one to make overtures of peace when nothing else could induce him to do so. Uncle Sam: — Then you believe the Bear is afraid? England:— Yes. Uncle Sam:— Of whom? England: — You and me. Hi'm consider- ed the strongest of the powers. You 'ave risen to a much higher plane, as a world power, through your war with Spain. Thus, you see, the Latin and other Continental peoples fear their subversion, sooner or la- ter, by the Anglo-Saxon. There is a motive force behind the Bear. Hi c'n see the tracks of other animals in the mud around his lair. It is to be a battle between our wit, and theirs. This being so. Hi propose that we form a secret alliance 'ere and now. This will give us more confidence, and we need not 'esitate to push our claims, on the strength of the effect that an announcement of our alliance would have. 24 The Controversy of the Powers. Uncle Sam: — Your idea does ^ou credit. And yet I must refuse the honor. England:— And why? Uncle Sam:— Such a compact could not be kept secret even for an hour! Once known it would invite attack upon us. That I must avoid. The troubles in the Philip- pines are sufficient for me at present. But be assured of my sincerest friendship. The time is not ripe for our alliance, but it may come. (Enter all the powers and after salut- ing Russia, seat themselves. Islands not present.) Russia: — My hearty greetings. We seem to be all here, and I will now give my reasons for requesting this assemblage. "I look out over the world; I study our civilization, and I do not find it very good. I see all nations engaged in seizing or try- ing to seize all the territory not yet occupied by European powers. "For the native races what does imperial expansion mean? Too often, opium, alco- hol and all manner of disease; a great gulf between those who govern and the ruled; and crushing taxation upon the natives for the blessings of this civilization. The Controversy of the Powers. 25 "And for the nations who seize, what does it mean? A continual increase of sus- picion, jealousy and rivalry; the heaping up of fleets and armies in order to take part in a scramble with the world, with the result that the army and navy are swallowing- up more and more millions that should be used for the welfare of the people and the ad- vancement of the world. "War has become so expensive that no state can stand the strain of protracted con- flict without having to look bankruptcy in the face; and we are so perfecting our mod- ern weapons of destruction that no army can go into the field without losing so large a proportion of its ofQcers that when the war is over, even if that army is victorious, the war will have inflicted irreparable loss on the country. "What with disconnection caused by mobilization, what with an empty exchequer, what with decimated ranks of leading and governing men, I see nothing before any nation but a terrible heritage of revolution- ary anarch3^" Therefore have I summoned you that we may arrange for disarmament. Germany:— That is one good talk. It would all verv well be if onlv I could mv 26 The Controversy of the Powers. array keep. I pelief me in peace, but I want my armies and nafies in my pocket handy close by. France-.— ( excitedl_y steps up to Rus- sia) There now it is that you see what you've done. Ze German will not disarm, and then where do I get back my Alsace and Lor- raine, if it is zat you put aside ze armee and ze na vee? You do not remain by your agree- ment. Is it not so? Russia.— Keep still, frog-eater. Do you want to spoil the whole scheme? France: — Ah! It is one scheme, is it? Ah! Then I am quite still. Uncle Sam.— If there's any scheme on hand I'd like to be one of the schemers. England:— Hi'm not 'arf so afraid of old Russia's fighting materials as Hi am of 'is schemes. Japan: — And when I don't hear John Bull's voice anywhere, I begin to investi- gate the silence, and I generally find that he is doing a little scheming himself. Spain: — There is not a single one of you who knows the true art of scheming. I in- vented the scheine by which schemes are made, and ever since you have been trying to steal my idea and improve on it. But The Controversy of the Powers. 27 Spain always leads, and all others follow. Uncle Sam:— That's the way it was in Cuba, and no mistake. Turkey:— What's all this muss about. Let's come to some agreement about this business and then go home. I've got a fight brewing and I want to be there to get ready for it. UncIvE Sam: — You've got the right idea, old Musselman. Secure peace if you have to fight for it. That's the way I did. China: — If all who have trouble await- ing them are at liberty to go home and get ready for it, I ought to have started back as soon as I started forward. It seems to me there is more trouble ahead for me than for any other nation of the globe. But then, you all know more about that than I do. Japan:— There's no doubt about that. China: — There's not much doubt, either, that when I get home there won't be any ports left for me to enter. I am going now. (China starts to leave. All block her way.) China: — On second thought, I believe I'll stay. Italy: — It is good that you so decide. When you are dealing with wide-awake na- tions like myself, you must remember to do 28 The Controversy of the Powers. aa thej' bid you. It pays better in the end. England:— ('fo Italy) 'Ere, you boaster, you'd better mind your business. France:— f'^o Italy) Do what is pleas- ing to you to do. It is not ze place of ze Briton to command you. Spain:— Caramba! No! Germany:— It makCvS me empty of pati- ence to hear leedle bull-frogs groakin' away like donner-wetter. ( Uncle Sam laughs to himself.) France: — It is distasteful to me zat ze German should be offensive. Spain:— Put him out! Italy:— Throw him out! (Uncle Sam continues to laugh.) Russia: — Wild animals, all of you! When I ask you to talk peace it is nothing- but sounds of war that beat my ears. No more will I tolerate. To have peace here I will get my soldiers. (Exit Russia.) Japan: — It may be that we can have peace now that the growling bear is gone. But my faith in this conference is very small. Our crafty host builds war boats even now, and his money flies to the farthest points of the earth to buy war supplies. If he is for peace, why does he prepare for war? The Controversy of the Powers. 29 iTAlyY: — It is one method of obtaining peace. Turkey:— Then why should we not all do the same? I do not doubt there are many thing-s in the mind of the ruler of all the Russias, and that this assemblage is mere- ly an attempt to blind us. (Enter Russia.) Russia:— My soldiers, I did not find them. It is time that we should lay aside discussion and attend to the business which brings us here. Japan: — We are all agreed that peace is necessary, or will be within a few years, in order to preserve civilization. No perma- nent advance can be made by any nation un- less unhampered by other powers. Thus disarmament becomes necessary. It is only left to decide upon this. Shall we disarm? All: — Disarm! disarm! Japan: — How is this thing to be done? Which of us is it who will disband his army and discard his navy first, trusting that the others will do the same? Italy:— Never will I do such a rash thing. England:— Nor I. Japan: — Then must we fix upon a cer- 30 The Controversy of the Powers. tain date for disarmament. Let it be upon the 15th of July of the coming summer. Germany: — ^I sukgestOwg-ust der l.^th. Knglano:— Hi say vSeptember 15th. Fran'CE:— And I say wera/Ve! Russia: — It seems that we cannot ag^ree upon this. Let us pledge ourselves to be as peaceable as possible, and arbitrate all dis- ag-reements if possible. All: — We agree. Russia: — Then, friends, I bid j^ou fare- well and wish you a peaceful journej' hoine- ward. {E.reiint Spain and Italy.) It is a pleasure to ine to know that we have agreed so easily. [Exeunt U. S., Germanj' and England.) "Peace if possible!" That is a noble watchword, a pledge worthy of the great powers of the earth. {Exeunt France, Japan, China and Turkey.) Now thej' are all gone. "Peace if possible." Ha ha. "Ar- bitrate if possible." Ha ha! What will I not do with Turkey and China! At least I have blinded the eyes of my friends for a short time. When that time is ended, I will be in a position to defy the world. Peace, peace! Never will there be peace until I have finish- ed the conquest of the world, and the name Russia shall be substituted for The Eartlu The Controversy of tlie Powers. 31 Act II. Scene II. {Accidental assemblage of Powers.) Japan: — {on stage alone) My war with China has finally turned out disastrously for me as well as for China. When I secur- ed Wei Hai Wei and other strongholds at the end of the war I thought I was getting in good trim to control the future of the Chinese Empire. But along comes Russia and takes Port Arthur, which is on my pe- ninsula. {Enter Russia.) Then England puts in a claim on China for some port equal in importance to Port Arthur, and se- cures my Wei Hai Wei by leasing it from China and paying me the indemnity for which I held that port. Now what have I left? A few Chinese towns and the oppor- tunity to ask for more — withovit getting them. Russia:— You are badly situated, aren't you? If you can't have the earth you are dissatisfied. I am the unfortunate one in this affair, I wait hundreds of years for the sun to become warm enough to thaw out my ice-locked ports. The sun refuses. Then I take a port with water in front of it instead of ice, and the BritivSh lion comes roaring 32 The Controversy of the Powers. around and seizea Wei Hai Wei which com- mands not only the gulf, but my Port Ar- thur. (Enter Franco.) The greed of the Anglo-Saxon is almost bej'ond belief. France: —We are all tricked by Eng- land. Just because I take what seems to me to be a proper share of ze Mongolian land in ze South, England must have some too, and I find ze block in ze road. (Enter Ger- many and U. S.) Germany: — I haf me a lease on Kaio Chou for ninety-nine years und I was anger- ed mit myself that I did not make it ein hundered years. That is the great kicking on mj- part. Uncle Sam: — I think I shall write a book entitled "The Sad Story of the Disappointed Powers," and if you're sharp 5'ou'll recog- nize the characters at the first reading. What have I to show as ray portion of Chi- naland? Not a thing. Not even a pebble on the beach. And j^et I am not grumbling any! But I honestly think I ought to be re- cognized in some way, so I propose the pol- icy of the open door. France:— -Open ze door and put him on ze outside. Russia: — I am opposed to any open i The Controversy of the Powers. 33 door policy whatever, you may be certain. All: — {in turn) So am I. Russia: — And I never will submit to it. Uncle Sam: — You are sure of that are you? Allow me to prophesy that you are going- to be surprised some day, soon. {Chi- na and England enter.) You are just the one I w^ant to see. Cs.lNA:—{jvearilj^) Well, what do jrou want? I haven't any ports to spare, no more islands, nor peninsulas, nor bays nor provinces to give away. I must live some- where, and what's the harm in my living on my own territory. I don't want any of j^ours. Uncle Sam: — Neither do I want any of j'^ours. China: — {in astonishment) What? You don't mean it! I have half a notion to lease the whole country to you on condition that you will drive the pack of beggars from my doors. Uncle Sam: — Neither do I wish to con- flict with a yard full of beggars. If one puts his hands on pitch, he gets pitch on his hands. All I ask is an answer to one qtiestion. China:— Ask it. LofC. 34 The Controversy of the Powers. Uncle Sam;— Why are you so indiffer- ent to tlie advantages to be derived from American trade? My people have the best of everything to offer and yet you scarcely have any dealings with them. China:— The truth is 1 have been so harassed by these continental parasites that I haven't had time to think of anything else. I realize that it would be to the inter- est of my people to trade with yours, but what can I do? If I make any concessions the whole pack will be at my heels with claims for more ports. No, I must draw the line somewhere, and I might as well be- gin now, although I do wish I were in a posi- tion to treat with you, for I am sure you would not demand my whole empire. Uncle Sam: — I appreciate your difficul- ties. I'll talk to these fellows. {Approaches powers) I want the open door policy. I have the Philippines and unless you agree to the policy I have proposed, there'll be no prospects for you in those islands until the sky falls. The Philippines are the keys to the Pacific, and I mean to keep the keys. {Poiv- ers appear disconcerted.) This is not all. I have other means for enforcing my de- mand*. The Controversy of the Powers. 35 England:^^o powers) 'E 'as the whip in 'is 'ands. Hi'm in favor of giving my cousin what 'e wants. France, Germany and Russia con- verse briefly.) France:— Just as I expected, ze lion turns his back to ze enemy. Germany:— So much for dot gall und dot nerve by der Yankee. Russia: — I'd give a million dollars if my army and navy were in better condition. This has happened too soon. China: — The wolf pack seems to be agi- tated. I must say a few words in behalf of Uncle Sam, I've decided to support him as well as I can if he pushes his claim to the open door. I do not want my ports shut against the most progressive people of the earth. I welcome the infusion of their en- ergy among my people. We have been quiescent too long but we are beginning to be aroused. The great wall around us has stood too long and we want the assistance of the American people in tearing it down, believing that they will not take undue ad- vantage of our weakness, but will aid us in taking our rightful place as one of the great nations of the earth. 36 The Controversy of the Powers. Fkance: — It is too much opposition, gentlemen. We must submit or be assailed by severe difficulties. But ze great sur- prise! Ah! Germany: — Too much like some jug- gler beesnus is all this changing sideways, and up and around. I guess I better get me soine different ideas mineself. Russia: — It is useless for me to object longer. But I wish my armj'^ were stronger. I would see who is ruling this world! But by and by, by and by, there will be great fighting and rivers of blood and plains weighted with dead. Uncle Sam:— Well, gentlemen, what do you say? Francb:— (shrugs shoulders) It is ze great pleasure to submit. Germany: — I haf already too much beesnus upon which to look. I geefs mine gonsent. Russia:— I give it up. Japan:— What else can I do? England: — Of course I am satisfied. Uncle Sam: — I accept your decision with inore pleasure even than you give it. China: — And I hear the announcement with more pleasure than any one. To me it The Controversy of the Powers. 37 means much more than it can to any of you. To me it means the preservation of my empire, which I love and yet was power- less to protect until Uncle Sam appeared. Our country is old, and the history of my people runs back near to the earliest days of mankind. What wonder that the en- croachment of the foreigner has been view- ed with sorrow. But we have lived too much to ourselves, and the great progress of the world has dazed and bewildered us. We are anxious to learn, and willing, and it shall ever be our pleasure to thank the no- ble American for making it possible for us to learn without being annihilated. (China, England, France, Japan slow- ly move to the rear. Enter Turkey.) Russia: — We no sooner get out of one difficultj' than another appears. (Points to Turkey.) To get rid of this insolent bank- rupt I shall yet have to exile him from the face of the earth. He is in my way all the time, and he will not pay any bills. See here, you Mohammedan, when are you go- ing to pay me? Turkey: — I think next Thursday — which is my pay day. Russia: — I'll listen to no more of your 38 The Controversy of the Powers. pay clay nonaenae. I'll have ray money. V\\— (starts ton^ard Turkey with uplifted fist.-) \Jncl,eSan:~( stepping up) Hold on. Don't let 3'our anger make yon a brawler. Why don't you take it philosophically, like a man! Now when I am in trouble I keep cool and — (enter Philippines) Great atars and atripes! There'a that Oriental atumb- ling--block. You're worae than Banquo'a ghoat. You don't give me a minute's peace. Philippines:— No, and I don't expect to until you withdraw your troops and leave my islanders free. I know you have pub- lished to the world that I commenced the conflict, but I know too, that it isn't so, and so do you. You ought to have a little more regard for your word — j'ou, a great strong nation, breaking your proiniaes to a weak little group of islands unable to take care of themselvea! Uncle Sam: — If you can't do it, some one ought to do it for you. That'a me. My intentions were all right when I was at the beginning of all this trouble, and you are to blame that I wasn't allowed to follow them. I hope no one will ever say "islands" to me again. They are too turbulent for The Controversy of the Powers. 39 me. (Enter Porto Rico and Cuba. U. S. drops upon seat, warding them off with vigorous gestures.) And there are two more of them. O Lord, what are islands for, anyway! Porto Rico:— Uncle Sam, there is a great deal of indignation among my people over that new tariff law. They wish to have it remodeled at once, and if it is not, I think there will be considerable trouble ahead for you. (?7. S. groans.) Cuba: — Isn't it about time for me to be independent? I have learned much in the last two years, and it isn't all compliment- ary to you, either. (U. S. rises, assuming a dejected pos- ture. Spain enters with Italy.) Spain:— We can do it, I tell you. We'll follow the plan I've outlined, and sweep all before us. You remember how the Ameri- cano dog ran from me. All these big fel- lows will run if you and I combine forces and start out after them. A few short en- gagements and we shall own the w^orld. Sacramento! California! Caramba! Why not! The world is ours! {Spain runs in- to U. S. and steps hack hurriedly.) I beg 40 The Controversy of the Powers. Senor'a pardon, I did not know he was near. Italy.— Whj' apologize to the America- no? Why not commence the conquest of the world by overpowering him? After that the thing will be— ah— easy. Spain.— No, no, I was going to leave him till the last. Italy:— They are all here. Which one shall it be that we shall assault first? Spain:— There are the Philippines. Italy:— But they belong to the Ameri- cano. Philippines:— Not I. And I do not in- tend to. Nor to yon either. Spain:— This one shall also be left till the last. Germany:— You can begin niit me. Spain:— But I should much prefer to be- gin with— with— {All rush toward him and seize him. Italy joins in. They struggle a short time. Spain at length gasps:) Lest we forget,— lest we forget, let us sing the Recessional. {They sing:) "If drunk with sight of power, we loose Wild tongues that have not Thee in awe- Such boastings as the Gentiles use, Or lesser breeds without the Law- Lord God of Hosts, be with us yet, Lest we forget— lest we forget!" --^^*' >^ :Cl»iG?ESS 5 515 115 947 5 t "^