SATIRE. 
 
 5024. A Satire upon Physicians, or An 
 English Paraphrase, with notes and refer¬ 
 ences, of Dr. King’s most memorable Ora¬ 
 tion, delivered at the Dedication of the 
 Radclivian Library in Oxford. To which 
 is added, A curious Petition to an Hon. 
 House, in favour of Dr. King. 8°. Lond., 
 
 1755 
 
 Anon. Inverse. The Oration, in praise of Rad- 
 cliffe, of which this is a parody, had been tinged 
 with King’s Jacobite sympathies. 
 
 E L. T, 
 
 A 
 
 FRO M 
 
 THE LIBRARY 
 OK 
 
 SIR WILLIAM OSLER , Bart. 
 
 OXFORD 
 

 
 S^sss^m&ms^sss^i^ss&^ > 
 
 •W 
 
 ZXD 
 
 A 
 
 SATIRE 
 
 UPON 
 
 PHYSICIANS, 
 
 ORAN 
 
 English Paraphrase, &c. 
 
 (Price One Shilling.) 
 
 
 'i&u :***&* 
 
SATIRE 
 
 UPON 
 
 PHYSICIANS, 
 
 OR AN 
 
 ENGLISH PARAPHRASE, 
 
 With Notes and References, 
 
 o F 
 
 Dr. King’s moft immovable Oration, 
 
 Delivered at the Dedication of the 
 
 Radclivian Library in OXFORD. 
 
 To which is added, 
 
 A curious Petition to an Hon. House 
 
 J 
 
 In Favour of Dr. KING. 
 
 LONDON: 
 
 Printed for R. Gri ffiths, in Pater-Nojler .Raw. 
 
 'M.DCC.L V. 
 
A N 
 
 Heroic Paraphrase, 
 
 In English, 
 
 Of a late notable Latin 
 
 ORATION,^. 
 
 Earn’d Sages, Dodlors moll 
 profound; 
 
 For Wifdom fam’d, with Virtue 
 crown’d ! 
 
 Nobles and Commons, Knights and Peers. ‘ 
 Who feem to me all Eyes and Ears! 
 
 In freedom’s caufe while I engage. 
 
 My darling theme in youth and age 1 
 
 B 
 
 Ah 1 
 
( 2 ) 
 
 Ah! how I blulh, when e’er I think 
 How idly I employ my ink; * 
 
 Hoping to pleafe and to fubdue, 
 
 With eloquence, fuch folks as You! 
 
 In me, ah ! pity to behold! 
 
 A Wretch quite wither’d, weak, and old ; 
 
 Who now has pafs’d, by heaven’s decree. 
 
 The dangerous year of Sixty-three ; + 
 
 On atfes milk, and caudle fed, 
 
 I doddle on my cane to bed. 
 
 Of every ftep I take, afraid ; 
 
 My coat unbutton’d by my maid. 
 
 My memory oft miftaking names, 
 
 For G— rge, I often think of J— mes ; 
 
 Am grown fo feeble frail a Thing, 
 i fcarce remember who is King *- 
 Th’ imperial purple which does wear, 
 
 A lawful or a lawlefs Heir! 
 
 But fince you chufe me to proclaim 
 And celebrate your Radclijf 's fame. 
 
 Which fills thefe crouded Seats with rows 
 Of Wits and Statefmen, Belles and Beaux; 
 
 * Delegatum hoc mihi off.cium cum minirne fufcipiendum opor- 
 
 tere putarem . p. ' . - r c^> r n 
 
 f Qutppe vcrcbar infirmus & obltviofus Jenex, C 5 chmatle- 
 
 ricum cxcccltns annum. Ibid. , 
 
( 3 ) 
 
 ’Tis mine, to pay * a homage due 
 To patriots wife and learn’d like You, 
 
 Yet ’tis in vain this Circle hopes 
 A fpeech, enrich’d with flowers and tropes j 
 In all I ever fpoke or writ 
 Preferring facred truth to wit: 
 
 The Poet’s flight’s too gay for thofe 
 Who talk of ferious things in profe. 
 
 Expedt not, from a pen like mine. 
 
 Periods that dazzle, bounce, and fhine: 
 
 That Eloquence which domineers 
 In Lawyers, Parfons, and in Peers j 
 That ftorms a Court, nor will have done 
 Attacking, till the Fort is won: 
 
 That lifts to honour, power, and place, 
 
 Dubs one his Worlhip, one his Grace j 
 And with a fervile flattering fawn 
 Oft gains a ftar—fometimes the lawn. 
 
 Such noify Rhetoric alone 
 Befieges firft, then takes the throne; 
 
 * Adduftus fum ea^ qua vos+me femper profequuti eftis bene¬ 
 volent! £sf amplijftmorum virorum , & optimorum civmm ad- 
 monitu , ut ne qua hodie aut valet udinis , aut at at is me a excu- 
 fatione vellern uti. p. i, 2 . 
 
 + Oratorium ijlud mihi deejl ingenium, quod in foro , in fe - - 
 natu magno , in tempi!s dominatur .—Ibid .—Nunc grandem Jib! 
 conficiendo pecuniam , nunc aditum faciendo ad omnes honores j 
 reipublica . Ibid. 
 
 B 2 Filling 
 
 SBH*K 
 
( 4 ) 
 
 Filling our hungry Courtiers puifes, 
 
 With pilfer'd Gold, and Britain' s curfes; 
 
 The nation’s wealth who drain away, 
 
 Levied by law, her debts to pay. 
 
 That ebbing life, which dill remains 
 And bubbles in my aged veins; 
 
 The lated breath, this bofom draws. 
 
 Shall wade itfelf in Britain's caufe : 
 
 In deep her wretched fate deplor’d. 
 
 Till pleas’d, I dream of Kings rejlor'd ; 
 
 Of Heroes, exil’d from their throne. 
 
 By heaven call’d back to feize their own, 
 
 -—My fpirits now begin to flow; 
 
 My heart forgets its patriot woe ; 
 
 I blcfs the vifion, and regain 
 My raptur’d bofom’s peace again : 
 
 But wak’d, how dread is my furprize, 
 
 To find that Dreams fhould tell us lies! 
 
 That dill the fates on Britain frown, 
 
 And J — mes dill lives, without a crown ! 
 
 Let Albion then, whofe glory dill 
 Should be the theme of every quill, 
 
 With mine, * engage each upright heart, 
 
 To a£t the godlike Hero’s part; 
 
 * £hti a marc patriam, venerare a cade mi am nunauam d fiii 
 
 Ibid, 
 
( 5 ) 
 
 And Guardians of her freedom drive 
 To keep her dying fame alive. 
 
 For her I labour, print, and pray j 
 Watch half the night, toil half the day: 
 
 And every month quite tire the prefs, 
 
 With deeped: groans for her didrefs: 
 
 No Frofts or Snows my fpirits damp. 
 
 Still poring o’er my midnight lamp ; 
 
 Quite penfive for my Country’s fate. 
 
 With fcarce one Coal within my Grate : 
 Doling, at lad:, I lay my prayers, 
 
 Blefs the right King ,, and all his heirs — 
 
 Tho’ grown fo old, I fcarce can tell. 
 
 Or who they are, or where they dwell ! 
 
 Oh ! could I boad that youthful * fire, 
 Which once this bofom did infpire ; 
 
 Which glow’d and flam’d in every vein. 
 
 In Orm nd's, and great St. J—ns reign: 
 
 When Britain knew her rightful Kings, 
 
 And Oaths were deem’d mere Ample things;__ 
 
 rea Jbidf“ a ftrmms mo, din. ■ 
 
 Our 
 
( 6 ) 
 
 Our learn d * Machaons fame fliould fhine 
 With rays of brightnefs half divine > 
 
 And Phoebus' felf in fkill Ihould be 
 An f Opifer lefs fam’d than He ; 
 
 Who, fome imagine, had the Odds 
 Of half your fabled Phyfic Gods ; 
 
 Since Deities did never fold 
 
 Their fhining Pills in leaves of gold ; 
 
 Their heavenly Juleps not fo clean, 
 
 Or rich, as Radcliff's Drops terrene 1 
 A Guinea was Apollo’s fee, 
 
 Radcliff had feldom lefs than three, 
 
 For fcarce two lines — " Sir, you may do well, 
 tc if y OU leave drams, and ftick to gruel; 
 
 « No fiery cordial nature wants ; 
 
 “ Nothing fo fatal, Sir, as A lanti .* 
 
 “ ’Tis this that gives you all your pains, 
 
 “ Firft numbs your nerves, then cracks your 
 
 brains.” * 
 
 No vulgar mufe fhould tune her lays. 
 
 The Hero, or the Saint to praife ; * 
 
 * A learned member of the College of P hyficians when 
 %-ey was befieged by the Greeks. 
 
 •f Opiferque per orient , Dicor . Ovid, 
 
 (| Neque ego que-quam arbitror , nut malos vtros fatis rette 
 reprehendere , nut bonos fatis digue laudare poje, nift qut fi> - 
 main fit mente , &c. p. 3. 
 
 Heroic 
 
I ! 
 
 (?) 
 
 Heroic Adis fliould be enroll’d 
 In lofty drains, fublime and bold. 
 
 The vidlors at th’ Olympic race, 
 
 The Chiefs who fought at Chivy-chafe ; 
 
 At Prejlon-pans the trophies won, 
 
 By Blenheim's laurels fcarce out-done. 
 Verdant and fair, fliould flourifli ftill, 
 
 Sung by fome bard’s immortal quill. 
 
 ’Twas Maro's verfe, divine and high. 
 
 That bore young Cafar to the flcy; 
 
 Great Bolingbroke a fame fliall boaft 
 Till every page of Pope is lofl. 
 
 And with each godlike patriot vie 
 Till Swift's immortal labours die. 
 
 ’Tis Oxf—d only fliould record 
 The Glories of her abfent Lord. 
 
 ’Twould throw a flain on Radclijf’ s name 
 Should quacks combine to blaze his fame j 
 In panegyric dip their quill, 
 
 And gravely own his learned fkill. 
 
 ’Twould be the fame, fliould Phillips try 
 To write in praife of Chaftityj 
 When e’en a blufli would be prophane 
 In her, a T — nf- — d, or a V — c. 
 
( 8 ) 
 
 No fatire e’er fo deeply flung 
 As Curl applauding learned * Young. 
 
 Whoe’er pretends to deal in fatire, -f 
 Knows very little of the matter. 
 
 Who values titles, or renown. 
 
 The Li&or’s rod, or Judge’s frown. 
 
 Whoever prints fhould boafl, like me, 
 
 A fpirit daring, bold, and free ; 
 
 That laughs at Courts, nor cares one whit 
 For || Bedford's, or Newc file's writ; 
 
 That dreads no warrants, fines, or laws —— 
 
 With griping fangs, and Harpy claws; 
 
 No difference owns, ’twixt great and fmall } 
 That boldly flrikes, and flies at all: 
 
 State honours thinks but fervile loads. 
 
 And hates your Courtiers worfe than toads. 
 
 But fince my wrinkles, nor my years, 
 
 The blufli which on each cheek appears, 
 
 * Dedication of his Works in two Volumes to Lord Car- 
 penter . 
 
 + fortiter & covjlantcr jentire , libere fed pudenter 
 loqui aJJ'uefecerit. -p. 3. 
 
 II %ui a potcntibus ifih penes quos eft fumma rerum, petat 
 nihil, Jperet nihil, & re£li verique fill confcius metuat nihil. • 
 
 Ibid. 
 
 3 
 
 (Dead 
 
( 9 
 
 (Dead weights upon my Genius hanging !) 
 Serve to excufe me from Haranguing j 
 I treat you with no florid lines 
 Of fmooth-tongu’d fpeakers, court Divines; 
 Who oft gain mitres with a text, 
 
 Vicars one day, and Lords the next. 
 
 They’re drains like theirs, which gain a place, 
 And recommend, inftead of Grace j 
 Plant Sycophants around a throne, 
 
 And to a 'fully change a Drone. 
 
 To me the Favourite Gods aflign’d, 
 
 A {tripling yet, a daring mind: 
 
 Early the third of fame began j 
 The beardlefs boy prefag’d the man. 
 
 With this I always rul’d at play, 
 
 My fovereign will none durd gainfay; 
 
 With this I kept each foe in awe. 
 
 Supreme at Cricket, Chuck, and Taw : 
 
 A bat my fceptre, which difplay’d 
 Its power on all who difobey’d. 
 
 Tho’ creeping down life’s flippery hill, 
 
 Part of that fpirit warms me dill; 
 
 Still glows within this honed bread, 
 
 To impious * Courts a foe profedj 
 
 * Exagitat & pungit tmprobos , avaros , invidos , ingratos , Esf 
 iftos omntSj qui dijjiml Hi mi funt corum * qui laudantur.~$ % 4. 
 
 C ' A 
 
A fcourge to all pernicious Vermin, 1 
 
 Tho’ cloath’d in purple, furs and ermin. 
 
 To my lov’d Country ever dear. 
 
 For her I drop the patriot tear; 
 
 And weep to find fuch Schemes a brewing 
 To cloud her fame, and work her ruin j 
 Who ne’er has been without a plague, 
 
 Since kings were fent her from the Hague, 
 
 ’Tis own’d, I ever have profed, 
 
 Monarchs were Demi-gods at leafi:; 
 
 And zealous for the royal line. 
 
 Still battled for the Right Divine ; 
 
 Infilled boldly tooth and nail. 
 
 No laws could break a crown-entail j 
 
 Deem’d facred, as I foon could Ihow ye. 
 
 From Adam's reign, quite down to Noah ; 
 
 The heir fucceeding in his dead 
 
 As foon as e’er the Sire was dead. j I 
 
 How have I curd fome folks by dozens, J 
 
 Indead of fons for crowning cozensj 
 
 Tho’ never by the datute meant, 
 
 And fcarce the twentieth in Defcent! j 
 
 What Briton now, whofe loyal bread 
 Is with one patriot virtue bled} 
 
 3 
 
 Whom 
 
Whom zeal or honour does infpire ; 
 
 That thinks with reafon, writes with fire; 
 Whofe confcious bofom ever right 
 No cenfures awe, or courts affright: 
 
 Like mine, an upright zealous foe 
 To pomp, to pageantry, and fhow 
 The George, the Star, the Azure-firing ,, 
 j Gay glittering toys, to pleafe a King : 
 
 The ribbon and the garter’d knee. 
 
 Laugh’d at alike, by you and me. 
 
 When Fraud and Avarice are blam’d, * 
 Tho’ not a fingle foul is nam’d, 
 
 Strait every fordid mifer cries. 
 
 At me that pointed arrow flies ; 
 
 Altho’ the (haft was meant to gall. 
 
 Nor this, nor that, heaven knows, but all. 
 Why; if a coward fhould be nam’d. 
 
 Mull C- pe be nettled and inflam’d ? 
 
 | The fpleen of every Dowd be rais d, 
 
 When beauteous young K — id—re is prais d ? 
 Or M —r —y be with fury rack’d 
 
 TTTI « /I 1 1 _ r 
 
( 12 .) 
 
 Some exile prince perhaps I praife, 
 
 Drove from his throne in former days ; 
 
 Still greater by his loft renown, 
 
 And Royal ftill without a crown; 
 
 Malice, that moment, fnaps the hint, 
 
 And fwears, there’s fomething wicked in’t 
 Denounces ftrait the traitor’s doom, 
 
 And fwears I mean a prince at Rome. 
 What-e’er I publifh, Courts miftake it. 
 And all is juft what Juries make it. 
 
 Suppofe, for inftance, I fhould fay. 
 Some folks fhift parties twice a day ; 
 
 That birth and titles they difgrace, 
 
 And fell a vote, to gain a Place ; 
 
 Muft it be thought, that G—r and P — f } 
 Were thofe alone, I meant to hit ; 
 
 When fifty other folks in power 
 Are Whigs and Tories in an hour ; 
 
 Now hot, now cool, now mild, now ftale 
 Who whiffle rpund with every gale, 
 
 That bears ’em to the wifti’d for Port, 
 And lands ’em fafely at a Court ? 
 
 I paint, perhaps, to brand his fhame. 
 Some griping wretch, without a name, 
 

 1 
 
 ( T 3 ) 
 
 Who fwears, when poring o’er his purfe, 
 
 ’Tis better hang than to dilburfe ; 
 
 That two-pence from his Thoufands ftole 
 Quite cuts in two his fordid foul; 
 
 Who, if oblig’d fometimes to write. 
 
 Begs fcraps of paper to indite ; 
 
 His choiceft friends who never thanks 
 For compliments, not fent in Franks; 
 
 Muft L — th —r frown, and ftraitway think, 
 
 It was at him, I aim’d my ink; 
 
 W T hen twenty more the lalh deferve. 
 
 Who boaft their Plumb , yet chufe to Aarve ? 
 
 On this auguft adfpicious day, * 
 
 Which calls fuch numbers to difplay, 
 
 From every town and diftant County, 
 
 Your Radclijf ’s more than royal Bounty; 
 
 No wonder if his praife inflames 
 Some Reverend and Right Reverend names ; 
 With envy flung, who cannot hear 
 His fame extoll’d without a tear. 
 
 All by one -j- frugal maxim taught. 
 
 Not from a pound to fpare a groat; 
 
 * Cum in hac magnificentia rerum ad Radclivii laudes cele- 
 Irandas accingarnur , cum immortalia fua beneficia in nos collata 
 commemorcmus —p. 4. 
 
 ■f Nequc caufa convitii queer liur, ut /V, qui Radclivium opi - 
 bus cenfu crquant, eum etiam fiatura dotibus , £5* virtutibus 
 in genii ex <z quant* —p. 4. 
 
 When 
 
 
( H ) 
 
 When-e’er we alk ’em to repair 
 Or help to build a Hall more fair. 
 
 How few will plank a fingle floor. 
 
 Pay for a window, or a door ; 
 
 * We mull apply to abler men, 
 
 * Their portion, only one in ten ; 
 
 * ’Twixt law and cruel patrons vext, 
 
 * They fcarce have nine-pence for a text; 
 
 « How can fuch folks be thought to thrive 
 
 * In a thatch’d houfe, with children five f 
 Then drop a bleffing e’er they go, 
 
 A fovereign balm for every woe ! 
 
 Thefe fuck the ftream from Ifn' urn. 
 
 Yet nothing, like the fea, return, 
 
 Which frefh fupplies fiill feems to lack. 
 
 But never fends one Gallon back. 
 
 Blufh every Co’Jrge, every Hall j 
 Sophs, Regents, DoStors, one and all; 
 
 That e’er your Senate gave Degrees, 
 
 And Scarlet robes, to fons like thefe ; 
 
 Who, flaunting now in Lawn and Silk, 
 
 Stab the kind bread:, that gave ’em milk. 
 
 Yet fure in thefe difafterous * times 
 Which turns our virtues into crimes, 
 
 * In hoc adverfijjimo Academics tempore, dent operam & auxi- 
 Hum, —p. 5. 
 
 When 
 
( T 5 ) 
 
 When merit is its own undoing, 
 
 And confcience oft a wretch’s ruin; 
 
 When wicked courts above declare 
 Judgment againft a harmlefs prayer j 
 Each fon of Ifn Ihould dilburfe 
 Some little from his * golden purfe j 
 Be grateful, generous, and contrive 
 To keep his Oxford’s Fame alive j 
 In -f* hiftory to claim a place. 
 
 And alma mater's Annals grace $ 
 
 Tranfmitting fuch illuftrious fages, 
 
 In honour, down to future ages} 
 
 To raife her Glory, be content 
 To lofe each year a quarter’s rent: 
 
 Such bounty would do little harm. 
 
 Or to his pocket, or his farm j 
 All that he gives us, he may clear, 
 
 In one clofe faving frugal year! 
 
 If lefs to Balls he would refort. 
 
 And turn his claret into port, 
 
 Pleas’d with one Madam, wifh no more j 
 Keeping two nags, inftead of four ! 
 
 * Dent pro facultatibus : dent decimas : dent vicefimas .— lb, 
 
 + Ut in annalibus nojiris benignijfimi UberaliJJimique habean - 
 tur , pradicentur .- Ibid. 
 
 How 
 
How bleft the days, * when alma mater 
 Dreaded no dangerous dire Delator! 
 
 When I and Sh—pp—n rul’d the roall, 
 
 And James was {till the Favourite toaft! 
 
 No lurking fpies then plagu’d and teiz’d us. 
 
 We fang, and drank the healths that pleas’d us 5 
 With fafety then our farce we play’d, 
 
 Libell’d the king, for whom we pray’d ; 
 
 And {tickling for the Right Divine, 
 
 Laugh’d at the Court, nor fear’d a fine: 
 
 Quite fafe in all we faid in print, 
 
 Seiz’d by no Greyhounds f for a hint. 
 
 How cruel now our Tyrant laws, 
 t Whitmore has felt, and wretched % Dawes > 
 
 *r 
 
 In a dark dungeon clofely pent 
 For a few Words, that little || meant; 
 
 For paffing now and then an hour 
 In ridiculing fools in power ; 
 
 How hard, for words to be confin’d, 
 
 Since words are nothing elfe, but wind; 
 
 * £hti tiefariis fuis confihis , concionibus, faljimoniis , 
 want , augentque eorum omnium , qui infitas , & apsrtas ini mili¬ 
 tias nob if cum gerunt y fee.us CSf infaniam —p. 25. 
 f King's Meffengers , whofe badge is a Greyhound . 
 
 % Profecuted for a treafonable Riot in Oxford on cardinal 
 Stuart’s birth-day. 
 
 j| Ignofcant imprudentibus. — lp, 30. 
 
c v?r 
 
 And of what ufe are breath and lungs, 
 
 If people mull not ufe their tongues ? 
 
 Where, Britain , are thy freedoms finking. 
 When Subjects are excis’d for thinking ? 
 
 Yet all thy debts muft foon be paid. 
 
 Since taxes now on words are laid ; 
 
 Our modern Laws exa&ing * fines, 
 
 For fongs and healths , as well as wines ! 
 
 With what dire dread do mortals ftare 
 At the red Comet’s blazing hair j 
 Which each fad bread: with pain o’erwhelms, 
 Denouncing woes to wicked realms ! 
 
 Juft fuch a prodigy appears 
 One J- Radclijf in a hundred years j 
 The flaming ftar does lefs furprize. 
 
 When gaz’d at by a thoufand eyes. 
 
 See yon afpiring lofty Dome, 
 
 A rival proud to that of Rome , 
 
 Bears high its generous founder’s name. 
 Unmatch d in wifdom, arts, and fame; 
 Whoe’er like him afpires to fhine, 
 
 Muft be half mortal, half divine; 
 
 * XJt nequis omnino unquam avis ingenuus , innocent , in- 
 demnatus vcxetur, mu/tetur, fpolietur. —p. 30. 
 
 t Fir qualis femel anno centefimo nafcitur ; let, ft privatus 
 ejje debeat , femel fexcentefimo .—p. 5. 
 
 D Freedom's 
 
(1 
 
 Freedoms lov’d Guardian, Britain's pride, 
 Tho’ man, to half the Gods ally’d. 
 
 The Vatican now poorly looks, 
 
 With all its lumber, lies, and books; 
 
 And Bodlcy's fages, wits, divines, 
 
 Begin to envy Radcliff's {brines; 
 
 And long to change their mudy feat, 
 
 For (helves and lodging more compleat. 
 
 Had this fam’d * Pile in days of yore 
 Been rais’d, each mortal would have fwore, 
 It was a prince, at lead: fome peer. 
 
 Who did the gorgeous palace rear ; 
 
 And mull have thought the brick and dones 
 
 Thus neatly rang’d by Wren, or -f Jones ; 
 The drudture no ignoble part, 
 
 Of Boyle's , or of Palladio's art. 
 
 But now, alas 1 what different things 
 Are modern from our antient Kings ; 
 
 In cheds of Brafs whofe treafures rud. 
 
 And yet behold Whitehall in dud ! 
 
 Our benches once no Judges faw, 
 
 But thofe a little vers’d in law ; 
 
 •* . Perampla & magnified bibliotheca regium ejft aut prin- 
 tipum virornm opus , f olim fuijjet .—p, 5. 
 
 t Inigo Jon'js. 
 
 And 
 
( *9 ) 
 
 And parts and virtue muft combine, 
 
 Laft age, to grace a Court-Divine ! 
 
 * Princes once noble, generous, wife, 
 
 And learn’d themfelves, did learning prize 3 
 To birth who ow’d not their renown, 
 
 But threw a luftre on the crown j 
 They grac’d the Scepter which they bore, 
 
 And firft deferv’d the crown they wore : 
 
 What climes do now fuch Worthies breed, 
 Such Heroes nurfe—Ab, what indeed! 
 
 One James, his purple to adorn, 
 
 In twenty Luftrums rarely born ! 
 
 Had his Son prov’d a better Fighter, 
 
 How foon had I enjoy’d a mitre ! 
 
 If Falkirk' s field had been renown’d. 
 
 Viewing another St —t crown’d, 
 
 The German Nag , which ftruts and charms 
 Some People in the Royal Arms, 
 
 We then had ventur d to erafe 
 And lodg’d the Lyon in his place. 
 
 Great Radclijf, to whole finiles we owe 
 Yon arching Dome, this brilliant Show, 
 
 £)uum pnncipes ejjent munifici , quum Itierarum fautorcs , 
 quum ipji etiam bonarum artium Jludiis baud mediocriter im- 
 buti page 5, 6. 
 
 D 2 
 
 Wher e 
 
^ 20 ) 
 
 Where Beauty all-triumphant fits 
 Among a crowd of Beaux and Wits, 
 
 To purchafe titles and renown 
 
 Ne’er bafely chous’d, or robb’d the crown *, 
 
 All quacks in phyfic and in Hate 
 
 Were ever his eternal hate; 
 
 Who damn’d to Erebus and Styx 
 
 All knaves, who throve by wicked tricks. 
 
 Our generous fage, Apollo's fon, 
 
 Relieving all, yet plund’ring none ; 
 
 Got all his fame and riches fairly, -j* 
 
 By watching late, and rifing early j 
 Drank little, and but coarfely fed : 
 
 Went often with his Pint to bed! 
 
 Thus high, and higher Hill he foar’d, 
 
 By all, but fools and knaves, ador’d ; 
 
 Till lifted to the blefl abodes, 
 
 To fit, and fmile, and feaH with Gods j 
 Where Hretch d in Amarantine bowers, 
 
 On beds of rofes, banks of flowers, 
 
 While Deities around him Hand, 
 
 He takes the cup from Hebe's hand; 
 
 * Bene & hor.ejle paria , laloribus tsf vigiliis. —p. y. 
 
 ■\Haud quidem eonftrufla & coacerva/a, fuerat furt;s & dolls 
 cut turpijjimis venditionibus , out iniquijjlmo fcenorc.- _.). 6. * 
 
 3 And 
 
And crown’d with wreaths that never fade 
 Sips neftar, with great Harvey's {hade. 
 
 No wonder then fuch matchlefs {kill 
 His generous * purfe fo foon thould fill; 
 
 Such crowds each day of rich and poor 
 Early and late befieg’d his dooi*. 
 
 And prefs’d fo clofe, you fcarce could know 
 The concourfe from a Lor d- May or s. Show ; 
 Each drops a guinea at his Ihrine, 
 
 And vows his art is quite divine ; 
 
 Who to his couch no more confin’d, 
 
 Goes home and leaves the crutch behind. 
 
 He opens his -f- balfamic box, 
 
 Away fly ague, gout, and pox; 
 
 The fever's flames lefs ardent glow. 
 
 The pain deferts the aching toe j 
 Before he came the wretch half dead. 
 
 Up ftarts exulting from his bed j 
 Deliver d now from every ail 
 That plagu’d him quite from head to tail 
 And propt no longer on his flick, 
 
 Almoft forgets he had been fick, 
 
 * Cut, qua/; ipfi /Efculapio, omnes un lique dona afford ant _ 
 
 page 7. * 
 
 f In homine inerat cum map:a quadam vis & in”■ nit a - 
 (um.gn, turn jagacitas in morhrum caufts kvmehdh.- lb\A. 
 
 He 
 
( 22 ) 
 
 He never climb’d three flights of flairs 
 Each morning, to enrich his heirs ; 
 
 Sauntring about whole nights and days 
 At midnight routs, and bawdy plays. 
 
 The greateft Joy his wealth could yield, 
 
 Was to repair, } endow, and build ; 
 
 In fkill and knowledge to advance. 
 
 To fend young Doctors o’er to France ; 
 
 O’er learned Italy to roam. 
 
 And bring whole loads of Science home : 
 
 With greater light to blefs the age. 
 
 Each dunce returning back a Sage ! 
 
 Whene’er you afk’d his learn’d advice, 
 
 You had no need to fee him twice; 
 
 He felt your pulfe, and flrait would cry, 
 
 ‘ Here, Sir,-—’tis here your ailments lie ; 
 
 1 I guefs the fource of all your pain, 
 f And feel it in each beating vein: 
 
 * I never yet a cafe miftook— 
 
 1 But judg’d it from the Patient’s look — 
 
 ‘ Without one quedion afk’d, could fay, 
 
 ‘ Whence fprung his pains, and where they lay. 
 
 X In ijlas fumptuofas cedes, in collegium univerjitatis , in a- 
 limenta academicorum , qui quinquennium in nobili percgrinci- 
 tione conjumere jubentur. p. 6. 
 
 * At 
 
( ^3 ) 
 
 c At the firft glance, I can deiery 
 ‘ The green-fick Virgin, by her eye. — ■■ 
 
 ‘ Madam, I guefs the pangs you feel j 
 
 * Take which you pleafe, a Spoufe, or Steel: 
 
 * Tho’ ’tis my thought, to give you reft, 
 
 l The firil of thefe would pleafe you beft.’JJ 
 Whene’er he took a patient’s Fee, 
 
 He chofe the * open way and free j 
 (Unlike thofe Sycophants, who tell 
 A gafping wretch, he’d foon be well) 
 
 Told rich and poor, both low and high. 
 
 That kings, like flaves, were born to die j 
 
 Nor whilper’d it, but fpoke aloud - - 
 
 “ —Dear friend, prepare to buy your Shrowd! 
 y <c . The Bifhop’s Tar will never do, 
 
 ■ “ Nor the fam’d powder from Peru : 
 cc Not Rock himielf, or Ward can cure ye, 
 
 “ You’ve lately lodg’d, I fear, in Drury . 
 
 “ That He£tic Cough you’ll quickly rue, 
 
 “ Which foon will fplit your lungs in two, 
 
 || Hoc certe pracipuum ejits fiat, quod ingravefcentes morlos , 
 quam acutijfime femper pr&fenferat. p. 8. 
 
 * Tam ftmplici & aperto erat pe fit ore , ut , abhorrens ah alio - 
 yum confuetudine, nihil fimularet aut dijjimularet , nihil agro- 
 taniibus fycophantiofe faceret , aut diceret, ad captandum favo - 
 re??u ue regibus quidem . p. 8, 
 
 You 
 
^T 2 4 ) 
 
 “ You figh fo deep, and heave and pant, 
 
 “ A coffin, Sir, is all you want. 
 
 <c Think on your Parfon and your Text, 
 
 “ You’ll want ’em both by Sunday next; 
 
 “ Your fins and failings, great and fmall, 
 
 “ E’er ’tis too late, repent of all; 
 
 “ No julep, potion, dofe, or pill, 
 
 “ Could ever cure a man fo ill j S. 
 
 “ Then fend for wax, and fign your will :*{- J 
 ** And e’er you leave the world, provide 
 <c For your next heir, and weeping Bride j 
 “ Fixing what Portions you think due 
 “ To Jack and Harry , Kate and Sue.” 
 
 Such counfel, kindly thus expreft, 
 
 Was * welcome to the patient’s bread:: 
 
 With whofe advice the wretch complied, 
 
 Paid him his ufual Fee — and died. 
 
 How prudent was our learned Sage, 
 
 The J wife and upright to engage, 
 
 f Res famiiiares placi d'e et ordinate difponcrent ; liberis, pro - 
 quinquis , am: els non temerc provide ref t. p. 3, 
 
 * Sive convalefcerent , five mortem ob'.rent , fumma gratia il- 
 lufri medico referretur. p. 9. 
 
 % Srduh cavity ut hujus tejlamenti jus in omne tempus fir?nu?n 
 et inviolatum foret , probatijji?nos eos elves deligendo. p. 10. 
 Sfui enim viri ! qui elves ! quam illu/lres . graves , diligentes! 
 P- ll - 
 
 (Who 
 
(Who would not change their fame fo fair. 
 For P-lbam '$ Staff, or On/l-w’s Chair) 
 
 To build and raife yon princely Dome, 
 
 A rival own’d to that of Rome j 
 And only wants a gilded Ball, 
 
 To fhine as bright as that of Paul ; 
 
 Which then beheld at diftance looks 
 More like a fhrine for Gods, than books! 
 Troy’ s wail was built, elfe Homer lies, 
 
 By two Free-mafon Deities; 
 
 For hireling Gods in antient time 
 Blufli’d not to work in fand and lime; 
 Handled their trowel and their fpade, 
 Each a learn’d artifl in his trade. 
 
 Had £ Gibbs then liv’d, he had been chofe 
 Their foreman, when the Turrets rofe ; 
 
 V\ulcan had own’d the Briton's Skill ; 
 
 And Neptune paid him all his Bill; 
 
 With him divided all their gains. 
 
 And, bowing, thank’d him for his pains. 
 
 In yon proud Fabric can the Eye 
 Difcern one brick or ftone awry ? 
 
 More boldly arch’d, and juftly prais'd. 
 Than that by Two Immortals rais’d ! 
 t The Architeft. 
 
 E 
 
 The 
 
(*n 
 
 The builder’s Genius how profound, 
 
 How wide the Pile’s capacious round ; 
 
 The tower does now but faintly fhine. 
 
 Where mighty * Tom is toll’d at nine ; 
 
 And Radcliff s dome the fame impairs 
 Of || Wainficet' s, and of || Wickhams Squares, 
 With thofe elected to fulfil £ 
 
 Its noble Founder’s generous will. 
 
 It would be deem’d a crying Sin, 
 
 Not firfl to name immortal -f- W - n ; 
 
 O’er Wallia' s hills his glory fpread, 
 
 £ Immortal—tho’ he now is dead ; 
 
 A fcourge to courts, who from a King 
 Scorn'd to accept a Star, or String; 
 
 And never would confent to barter 
 His faith and honour for a garter; 
 
 Since probity he feldom knew, 
 
 Ty’d to a ribbon green or blue; 
 
 * At Chrift Church . 
 
 || Fourniers of Magdalen and New College. 
 
 Dum fuperbam et fplendidam hanc bibliothecam admirajnur , 
 T obis, viri illvjlrijjimi , lie eat adjungere vejlrum tanti operis 
 minijlrum. p. 13. 
 
 ■f Sir Watkin Williams Wynn . 
 
 t Eheu! qualis vir , et quantus interiit! quam illujlre pie - 
 tatis veteris cxemplum ! co enim nihilprobius, cajlius\ comius , 
 verecundius , liber alius ; generis humani decus ! p. 28. 
 
 Or 
 
( 27 ) 
 
 Or any Peer made better by’t. 
 
 For being dubb’d a Windfor knight. 
 
 Oh death, how cruel are thy claws! 
 
 How rigid, Heaven, thy partial laws 1|| 
 
 To rob the world, and in a day 
 An age’s wonder fnap away! 
 
 What table now in * Cambria fhines, 
 
 With glofly hams, and fmoaking chines ? 
 
 What generous board each day is pil’d. 
 
 Like his, with roafted, bak’d, and boil’d ? 
 Whofe bounty—an Election nigh. 
 
 Did in one night, a cellar dry; 
 
 Empty five grofs of Florence flalks. 
 
 Nor leave one pint in twenty calks! 
 
 Wallias fad Goats, now he is fled. 
 
 In fighs lament their Watkin dead ! 
 
 From all his tops Plinlimmon mourns. 
 
 And Snowdon back the groan returns! 
 
 While Conway's penfive ftream appears. 
 
 Quite fwell’d with Denbigh’s grateful tears; 
 Which ne’er muft view her tables fpread 
 Again, with piles of white and red} 
 
 || Cujus mors femper defienda , cujus laudes [ember cele- 
 brand# . p. 29. 
 
 * Quern patrcmf imilia nunc requirit domus fua ! quern bof- 
 pites hofpitem ! quern ego amicum 1 Ibid 
 
 E 2 
 
 Nor 
 
( 28 ) 
 
 Nor hope to hear her evenings elofe 
 
 With (houts—as when her I V- — ~n was chofe! 
 
 Tho’ one is loft, we ftill adore 
 Your Radcliff s learn’d furviving four! 
 
 With every grace and virtue fraught; 
 
 What heights of fenfe, what depths of thought! 
 No ftain did e’er their condudt fully; 
 
 A Solon one, and one a Tully : 
 
 Who in each art and fcience vy’d. 
 
 With Lccke and Newton, Boyle and Hyde, 
 
 Born to attradl, and to engage, 
 
 To brighten and reform an age ; 
 
 Whofe merits in ihefe wicked times, 
 
 Atton’d for half the nation’s crimes. 
 
 But here I ftop,—the Patriot’s ear 
 Is pain'd, a due applaufe to hear: 
 
 Who, on Fame’s higheft fummit rais’d, 
 
 Bluthes to have his merits prais’d; 
 
 Nor for Ten Favours will allow 
 A friend to make one fingle bow. 
 
 + Eoricm verecundtam, quum ip ft inter ftnt tneo fermoni , non 
 aufim laudibus coram oner are eximias fuas virtutes preedicando, 
 
 p. ii. 
 
 t Excellent err. an: mum omni liber alt dotlrina excoluerint , 
 tut etiarn atcefferit fumma vites integritas , mb'a comitas , fua- 
 Vitaj que tnorum, is'e. p. ii. 
 
 But 
 
( 29 ) 
 
 But rambling thus, * I feem to dream , 
 
 And almod had forgot my theme; 
 
 Which fliould each bread: with tranfport fill. 
 The generous, noble Radcliff’j Will • 
 
 Which calls us here, this folemn day. 
 
 His godlike bounty to difplay; 
 
 And brand with marks of deeped fhame 
 The foes to his immortal name : 
 
 A friend, while living, to didrefs, 
 
 Nor ceafing dill, tho’ dead, to blefs.-f* 
 
 How pious the great Patriot’s cares 
 To leave our Oxfojrd £ Sons his heirs! 
 
 Infpir’d with maxims from his youth. 
 
 Of honour, loyalty, and truth j 
 Who dar’d his rightful Sovereign own, 
 
 Tho’ forc’d and banilh’d from his throne. 
 
 He never would confent, or yield 
 Proud Foundling Hofpitals to build; 
 
 Nor like fome folks bequeath his riches 
 To nurture up your Sons of B-s;. 
 
 * Sed ad ?ne reverfor. p. 18. 
 
 + P°Jf e Jfiones, et fpes fuas omnes vir cptimus donavlt pietatu 
 p. 9. 
 
 t' fola istud, quo deceJJit , et quo rempublicam et aca¬ 
 demia m fibi H&rcdem infUtuit , HoNEstissimum fcrip fit tef- 
 tamentum. Ibid. 
 
 Or 
 
( 3° ) 
 
 Or leave one groat, for frocks and food, 
 
 To rear a bafe, and Baftard blood ; 
 
 To buy fhoes, dockings, bibs, and hats, 
 
 For Citizens, and Courtiers Brats 
 For godly ends his wealth to fpare, 
 
 He liv’d content with homely fare ; 
 
 His tafte by courts was not refin’d. 
 
 On Ortelans he feldom din’d ; ) 
 
 Nor touch’d, or Cyprus, or Tokay, 
 
 Except on one aufpicious day,— 
 
 I quite forget the month and moon. 
 
 But guefs it fome one day in June. 
 
 Let * /Egypt, Gallia, Greece, and Rome, 
 
 With all their boaft no more prefume, 
 
 To match your Radcliff s Attic Dome, 
 
 Which Science chufes for her home. 
 
 Whatever pedants think, ’tis Books 
 That form our Statefmen, Clerks, and Cooks j 
 How odd would Serjeants feem in Courts 
 Without their cafes, and reports ; 
 
 Juft fuch a pack of aukward Sirs, 
 
 As our Lord Mayors, without their Furrs; 
 
 * Quid commemornn ampliffimam cam Ahntandrinam biblio- 
 theeam ? Quid Attalicam? Quid Gracas omnes? Quid 
 Rcmanas'? Turn vetercs, turn rccecmUs? p. 15. 
 
 Priefts 
 
( 3 r ) 
 
 Priefts would each Sunday be perplext, 
 
 Had critics not explain’d their text. 
 
 With learning uninfpir’d, our fons, 
 
 Had hill been Vandals , Goths , and Huns-,f 
 Our poets pleas’d us with the lays 
 That once were fung in Alfred's days. 
 T)raytons had been the fweetefl lyre,’ 
 
 And Quarles been valued more than Prior ! 
 
 If Phyfic had not gain’d a name 
 Ey Syd'n’am' s works, and Radcliffs fame, 
 Great Ward and Rock might have been ta’en 
 Among the wits of War wick-lane j 
 And Britain cur’d all mortal ills 
 With Berkley s tar, and Godfrey’s pills. 
 
 Had faithful hiftory * not fhown. 
 
 Not one in fifty could have known. 
 
 What wife and antient fages taught, 
 
 How well our fons once fang and fought; 
 Guarded our rights by wholfome laws, 
 
 And flied their blood in Freedom’s caufej 
 
 omn,hus P er fp:cuum fine his adjumentis, nos ex moribus 
 nofitu Bntannorum velerum, Saxonum et Normannorum Bar 
 han im non detere, aliorumnon ferre potuijfe. p. "4 ’ 
 
 , ■ hactina re ford, ui non modo omnium gentium hif- 
 
 aeiupMiiefoi,. p. % 
 
 At 
 
( 3 2 ) 
 
 At Routs and Balls, and City-fhows, 
 
 What Covies had we loft of Beaux; 
 
 Confulting firft the wife records, 
 
 Which plan the fuits of Gallic Lords * 
 
 If Taylors had not learn’d the art 
 From Paris , how to drefs a fmart ; 
 
 Nor known, what trimming was moft fit 
 To conftitute a Britijh wit; 
 
 What paint would beft her youth repair, 
 
 And fhew a wrinkled Dowd more fair ! 
 
 In Freedom’s temple Pollio chofe-f- 
 His learned authors to repofe; 
 
 An ufeful hint,t that all like me 
 Should fpeak their meaning frank and free. 
 Without a dread of Willes or Lee. 
 
 Ah, in what Ifle has Radcliff built! 
 
 In one o’erwhelm’d with every guilt; 
 
 Which ne’er has been without a plague, 
 
 Since Kings were fent us from the Hague. 
 Where Liberty no more remains, 
 
 Our very tongues now bound in chains; 
 
 -j- Afinius Pollio , vir do fins, et pro: clarus Orator , Btblio- 
 thecam concinnavit et injlruxit in atno templi Libertatis . p. 15. 
 
 % £hio fignificcri voluit , ibi folurn ejfe Uteris locum y ubi liber - 
 tati ejl locus . Ibid. 
 
 ’Tis 
 
( 33 ) 
 
 Tis now a crime —Treafon almott. 
 
 For friends to drink a favourite Toatt. 
 Shou’d we by chance but name a bribe, 
 We nettle all the venal tribe; 
 
 A warrant, iummons, or a writ, 
 
 The modern pay of harmlefs wit. 
 
 We dare not nurfe a loyal thought, 
 
 Or fay, how bravely S r- rt fought, 
 
 Cut twenty fwear, that we defame. 
 
 And leave a ttain on William’s name j 
 Q uite dangerous now to praife a faint. 
 
 For virtues, which the wicked want! 
 
 Shall bluftcring Bullies * then be prais’d j 
 For Thefe the vigor’s arch be rais’d j 
 Purchafe a wreath, and win renown,' 
 
 For tumbling walls and cattles down; 
 
 On pedettals their ftatues gilt. 
 
 For ttreams of blood their fury fpilt; 
 While Wejlminjler's proud Hall is fill’d 
 With pikes and fpears of warriors kill’d. 
 
 Mutt IJis' Bards, on bended knees. 
 
 Pay homage to fuch Curs as Thefe jf 
 
 Rank 
 
( 34 ) 
 
 Rank them with Deities above, 
 
 Call one a Mars , and one a Jove ; 
 
 Who threaten, plunder fwear, defy. 
 
 And drink our ftrong-beer cellars dry: 
 
 Scarce with three meals a day content. 
 
 Pagans who feldom faft in Lent > 
 
 Who perfecute our loyal fens, 
 
 And plague and teaze us worfe than Duns. 
 
 Could thefe but compafs their defign. 
 
 Their horfe would in our chapels dine ; 
 
 Our Churches, Colleges, and Halls, 
 
 Be foon converted into Stalls; J 
 And all our Quadrangles each day, 
 
 Inftead of gowns, be fill d with hay; 
 
 Generals would rule us, and inflead 
 Of Do&ors, Colonels be our head; 
 
 Tall Grenadiers, and fierce Dragoons, 
 
 Our filver change to wooden fpoons; 
 
 In our Beaufets of any kind. 
 
 Not one poor tankard left behind; 
 
 To toaft each eve a ftated health 
 To J —y, and his Commonwealth. 
 
 X In pojjejfioncs noftras irruere,, ct pulcberrima ha:c tzdifiaa 
 in equerum btabula convertere optarent, &c, p, 16. 
 
 Shoul^ 
 
 * 
 
 4 
 
 
 
i 
 
 U 
 
 C 35 ) 
 
 Should thefe be deify’d in Ink,* 
 
 In lace bedaub’d who ftrut and ftink 
 Each week who multiply their fins. 
 
 Scarce leave one maid in twenty Inns; 
 
 Extoll d, in profe and gracelefs rhymes. 
 
 For worfe than any Pagan crimes:— 
 
 If works like thefe are call’d divine, 
 
 The worfinpp’d Plague fliould have its flirine, 
 Suppofe we grant that Philip's fon f 
 In Greece had forty battles won j 
 That Ccefars vidor-troops in GW, 
 
 Were bold, and daring fellows all; 
 
 Yet if they ravifh’d maids and fpoufes. 
 
 And burnt down honed people’s houfes; 
 
 And after every well fought battle 
 Drove oft the farmers docks and cattle.— 
 
 This Julius , and this .Alexander , 
 
 Tho’ doubtlefs each a brave Commander • 
 
 For wafting realms, and firing cities, 
 
 Were nothing better than Banditties. t 
 
 tatirSr™ me P , Hdet . turpis °™torum et poetarumatTe 
 
 + Quid ft glor: 0 Jt milites Alexandri & 
 loresfuerint. Ibid. 
 
 Cesfares , perpetuo vie - 
 
 t Quid ejl emm , ft hoc non cji fcelus ? Ibid. 
 
 F 2 
 
 Ah! 
 

 r r! 
 
 
 
 
 
 ( 3 6 ) 
 
 Ah ! when I fit me down, and moan* 
 The mifchief bloody Wars have done. 
 What dreams of gore the fword has fpill’d, 
 What numbers each Campaign has kill’d ; 
 What ruffles have been torn, what fwarms 
 Have loft their wigs, their legs, and arms! 
 Ah ! how each wretch’s fate I rue. 
 
 Which fplits my bleeding heart in two! ' 
 
 I feel the pangs the dying feel, 
 
 And curfe the edge of murdering fteel. 
 
 Let Heroes boaft: of their renown, 
 
 The laurel wreath, and Vidor’s crown, 
 "Who view with fmiles the fanguine plain. 
 Nor breathe a figh for millions flain ; 
 
 ’Tis Satan only, not the Lord, 
 
 Who whets their dire relentlefs fword ; 
 Infpires with rage thefe cut-throat elves, 
 Who only fight t’enrich themfelves. 
 
 Their fword, if wild ambition draws, 
 Not Freedom, and their Country’s caufe ; 
 Which cowards fhould infpire to fight. 
 
 To do an injur’d nation right; 
 
 * £htam co~iti , qua res modo gejla funt in omnibus Europa 
 regionibus , tat munitasfS expugnatos urbes , Ut incendia , & vaf- 
 
 tationes , £sV.—p. 17. 
 
 The 
 
 
( 37 ) 
 
 The Cook-maid who can raife a tart; 
 
 The mafter in the Potter’s art; 
 
 Or he, who makes us ofier wheels 
 To catch our lobfters, crabs, and eelsj-f- 
 The Quacks, who Moorfield, ftage adorn. 
 
 And fell you plaifters for your corn; 
 
 Are better folks than Rakes in Red, 
 
 Eugene or Churchill , ever bred. 
 
 But think not here, that I degrade 
 All matters in the fighting trade; 
 
 Or that I meant to hint, or fay. 
 
 They only fir’d, and fought for pay ; 
 
 When plund’ring troops are lafh’d, ’tis known 
 To all, I never mean our own ■* 
 
 I ever lov’d, (this fpeaks my heart) 
 
 To take the Honeft foldiers part; 
 
 Pronounc’d ’em civil, courteous, brave. 
 
 Not one in fifty found a knave j 
 Witnefs fam’d Prejlons glorious plain 
 C—pe's daftard troops by thoufands flain j 
 Whole ratling thunders all muft own, 
 
 Tho diftant, Ihook the BntiJlj throne $ 
 
 t Shi primus invenit, quo artificio fingatur cl/a fitlilis, aut 
 textaiur qualus vimineus, eum multo melius meruijfe., &c. p, jg_ 
 
 * Nift, qui pro patria pugnaverint , quotes funt nojtri-, & 
 quos idpropterea , libenter fecemo. —p. 18. 
 
 ’Twas 
 
( 38 ) 
 
 ’Twas not vile plunder, but renown, 
 Tlie hopes of Empire, and a Crown, 
 
 That did the gallant troops infpire, 
 And fill’d each heart with loyal fire; 
 
 Who ne’er could faint, or feel a dread. 
 
 When high-born Ch— les their fquadrons led, 
 But now returning to my fpeech -j* 
 
 One favour humbly I befeech ;— 
 
 With patience that you would attend 
 To your lov’d Radcliff’ s glorious end. 
 
 When deftiny his fate had read. 
 
 E’er heaven cut fliort life’s brittle thread. 
 
 He ftill, to virtue’s interqfi: true, 
 
 Had twenty pious works to do ; 
 
 Who breathlefs now his heaven implor’d, 
 
 To fee his Britain 's fame reftord-, 
 
 A bleffirrg which he hop’d to meet 
 To make his Grave more foft and fweet; 
 
 When age our llrength has wither’d quite, 
 
 And turn’d our brown hairs into white ; 
 
 With languors we almofi: expire, 
 
 Clofe hovering o’er a parlour fire j 
 
 + Sed ad me revertor, ne fortaffe excidat animo, &c. p. 18. 
 
 For- 
 
( 39 ) 
 
 Forgetting now both friends and foes. 
 
 We only live to dream and doze: 
 
 The fweeteft joy by age pofteft, 
 
 A night cap, and twelve hours of reft. 
 
 But he, a friend for ever dear. 
 
 Ne’er to be nam’d without a tear, 
 led, Tho’ fixty winters now had fhed 
 
 Their fnows upon his reverend head, 
 
 1 Each night till twelve was kept awake. 
 
 For Britain’s good, and Freedom’s fake. 
 
 In fleep, his favourite darling themes 
 Which pleas’d the patriot’s foul in dreatm. 
 
 ’Twas he, amongft the righteous reft, 
 
 Who with a Be ace all Europe bleft j 
 Which did her bloody Jars compofe, 
 
 Sav’d us, at once, and pleas’d our foes: 
 
 Paid all our debts, our credit rais’d ; 
 
 Which Bourbon , tho’ our rival, prais’d ; 
 
 Nor mention’d yet its chief renown, 
 
 V Which almoft gave our J—mes a crown j 
 Which I, which Britain hop'd—but Oh ! 
 Unkind and cruel ftars faid, No! 
 
 + Us interfu.it con film , qua crbi chrifliano, belli s jam fall - 
 gato, pacem aquiflimam , honeJHjTimam’ ac nobis utililfimam , 
 1 redderent conficerentque. Ibid, 
 
 * A 
 
 r- 
 
X 4° 
 
 A falhion once in former times 
 Prevail’d, for folks to blufh at crimes; 
 
 When modefty her colour fpread. 
 
 And ftain’d the guilty cheek with red. 
 
 ’Twas mine, to hail thofe golden days,* 
 
 When virtue only challeng’d praife ; 
 
 When the ftaunch patriots of the Ifle 
 Were favour’d with the royal fmilej 
 And piety and zeal alone -f* 
 
 Claim’d the firft honours from the throne j 
 In law our Serjeants then were lkill’d, 
 
 And learned Clerks our pulpits fill’d ; 
 
 Mild were our laws, our Judges meek. 
 
 And Dottors knew a little Greek. 
 
 But now that golden age, alas! 
 
 Is chang’d to one of folid Brafs; 
 
 Its tyrant laws each day we feel, 
 
 Chaftis’d with whips, and rods of fteel j 
 Our cruel ftatutes now deny 
 The fubjedts right to perjury, 
 
 StTpijp.me mihi gratulor me vixiffe illis temporibus } cum 
 neminem bominem Briiannum puderet fecuii, &c. p. ig. 
 
 t B)um Britanms antiaua mancbat frugnlitas & difcipltna , 
 ctque a r dens libertatis conjfervandceJluclium, isfc. p. 20. 
 
 i Nunc vcro , quam immutata funt omnia ! Ibid. 
 
 3 
 
 For- 
 

 
 
 v 
 
 ( 4 1 ) 
 
 Forbid to curfe a King to day 
 We fwore laft feffions to obey ! 
 
 People when tir’d with fowl or fifh. 
 May change them for fome other di(h ; 
 Vary their dinners, if they like 
 A turbot better than a pike; 
 
 Juft as they pleafe, if folks may deal 
 In beef or mutton, pork or veal; 
 
 They fure are of a right pofleft, 
 
 To chufe the King they like the beft. 
 
 As long as pious Oxford chofe 
 Her truft in patriots to repole j 
 And none preferr’d to power or place, 
 But Heroes fam’d for gifts of grace ; * 
 Her wifdom own’d, her zeal admir’d, 
 
 By her example nobly fir’d 
 
 All Britain 's boroughs, and her fhires. 
 
 Were eas'd of all .heir pangs and fear. 
 
 Her Ions had all their rules by rote, 
 
 Well tutor'd, e'er they gave their vote- 
 efore his intereft you efpoufe * 
 
 ‘ Or fend a member to the houfe. 
 
 defenatoribus b lT S aldu l fibr J,tata i " C AcA DEMrcr, 
 **' ** ^ales ‘Jfint taniidafcSc ™ ** prov ‘ dendum cerfibant 
 
(40 
 
 < Into his virtues firft enquire, 
 
 ‘ The morals of your knight or fquire ; 
 
 < What joints each day he boil’d or roafted, 
 
 ‘ What arms, what blood, his Grandfire boafted, 
 
 * Unto what party moft inclind, 
 
 ‘ Whether of Whig, or Tory kind; 
 
 * How many quarts of red and white 
 
 < pje fwallowed down each loyal night; 
 
 * If pleas’d to chaunt the golden tune, 
 
 ( Sang here the blejjed tenth of June ; 
 
 * What his fam’d triumphs in the field, 
 
 < What hares and foxes he has kill’d; 
 
 < jf e ’ er he curs’d Cuiloden 's plain, 
 
 < if William’s wreaths e’er gave him pain 
 C To whofe dread fword Britannia owes 
 
 < Her Hero’s fhame, and all her woes.’ 
 
 Had Albion's fons, of all degrees, 
 
 Been guided by fuch rules as thefe ; 
 
 Titles and honour, wealth and power 
 Had (till been virtue’s happy dower ; 
 
 From courts corruption then had fled ; 
 
 Loft Freedom rais’d her drooping head; 
 
 No fycophants befieg’d the throne, 
 
 And exil'd monarchs had their own. 
 
 Forgive thefe fighs, thi* falling tear. 
 
 Which wets thefe cheeks, when e’er I hear, 
 
 My 
 
 3 
 

 
 
 ic 
 
 C 43 ) 
 
 My country flain’d with every crime 
 Unheard of, in a Nero’s time. 
 
 What fordid arts ! what venal tribes! * 
 
 What felling votes! what taking bribes! 
 
 What not! What vafl expence, and.pride ! 
 And forty other whats befide ! 
 
 Knaves now make money of their lies -f* 
 
 And tell their very perjuries; 
 
 Their fins as open now to all 
 As mutton at a Butcher’s flail. 
 
 From whence the fource of all our woe, 
 The fpring from whence fuch mifchiefs flow' 
 ’Tis Luxury, that Hag of Styx % 
 
 Which plays thefe wanton wicked tricks; 
 That often promps heroic Sinners, 
 
 To fell a farm to buy two dinners * 
 
 This melts our gold and filver down. 
 
 And bankrupts half the flarving town; 
 
 Awe vero , Guam immutata funt omnia 1 quam nuliam ha- 
 bet populus corruptijjimns pudorem! Sic. p. 20. 
 
 + £Httfuffragta fua, feepe etiam & perjuriafua , tam palam 
 er aperte vendit, quam qui pifees & carnes in macello vendunt 
 p. 20. 
 
 t quaritis, quid fit caufa, quamobrem plebs nofir a it a 
 turpi ter fc inver ter it y uno verbo refpondcam —Luxuries , p. 21. 
 
( 44 ) 
 
 Infe&s our courts, our bar, and benches. 
 And turns our warriors into wenches; 
 
 In lace, and paint, and birth-day cloaths 
 Our nymphs outdone by female beaux; 
 
 The country maid, who fells her milk. 
 
 Is now adorn’d and clad in filk, 
 
 Fancies herfelf quite rude and rough. 
 Without her velvet hood and muff. * 
 
 Long, long, our vices to reftrain. 
 
 Has pious H—nly preach’d in vain ; 
 Wbttefield may roar, and W°fley ftorm. 
 
 And fweat, and labour to reform ; 
 
 Each day, with Rock , may mount the Rage, 
 In hopes to mend a wicked age. 
 
 But ah! vile Rakes who hear the text 
 One hour, to Drury drive the next j 
 To Con, or M—rr—y poll away, 
 
 At prayers and pox’d in half a day. 
 
 Juftice and law may flill do more, 
 
 Feilding may lafh, or cart a whore ; 
 
 Grave prelates preach, and courts harangue. 
 And Judges fine, commit, or hangi 
 
 * Ad omttes crdines hotninuiriy ctlctrn injhnos tnanavit. Ibid. 
 
( 45 ) 
 
 Spite of the pulpit, bar, or prefs, 
 
 Britain has fcarce one rogue the lefs. 
 
 Still daring vice triumphant reigns. 
 
 And Tyburn dill its rights maintains j 
 That federing wound the commonweal 
 Laments, no Doctor’s falve can heal. 
 
 'Tis heaven alone mud interpofe, 
 i To curb and crufh its impious foes: 
 
 No remedy belides is fure, 
 
 Since Oxford’s felf defpairs to cure. 
 
 What fcenes have thefe fad eyes beheld! 
 
 This anxious bread; what forrows fwell’d! 
 
 Her wings venality has fpread j* 
 
 , Corrupts the heart, and turns the head! 
 
 Peers, Commons, Slaves, of all degrees, 
 
 Before they vote, are paid their fees. 
 
 Whene’er two candidates appear. 
 
 Or for a Borough or a Shire, 
 
 X And rich and wife contend for fway, -f - 
 The fird is fure to win the day. 
 
 * Mine in ofpidis , in agris, ad minima, ad maxima, volun - 
 tati divitum obtemperatur * —p. 21. 
 
 f Chios i?nprobiJfimos & patria infenfijjimos ducebant , tis ft 
 tot os tradiderint , Ibid, 
 
 Gold 
 
( 46 ) 
 
 Gold now is Britain's God—for This 
 The nun will hug, the veftal kifs j 
 Juries will hang, and Judges draw 
 And quarter folks, againft the law. 
 
 This bids even pride defcend fo low. 
 
 To clafp fome lordly patron’s toe; 
 
 To wait, like lacquies, in the ftreet. 
 
 And lick the dull beneath his feet: 
 
 The high, the low, the fat, the tall, 
 
 Cook, coachman, butler, page, and all-—- 
 Men, maids, and mailers, young and old. 
 
 Lye, pilfer, fwear, and cheat for gold. 
 
 I would-but dare no farther so 
 
 For fear of making Lee my foe. 
 
 Tis this that does my rage withhold, 
 
 And makes your orator lefs bold : 
 
 Nothing’s fo great a foe to wit, 
 
 As warrants, and a ferjeant’s writ. 
 
 ’Tis only thefe that wake my fears 5 
 I hold my tongue to five my ears: 
 
 ’Tis thefe that do my fpleen allay, 
 
 In dread of Pelham's wolves of prey ; 
 
 * Mine - P Lu R a paranti dicere & volenti tnehercule per- 
 
 timefcendum ejl , ne vocem mihi eripiant immunijjimi lupi ,—- 
 
 p. 22 . 
 
 + Lupi mcerim videre pricres,- —p. 22 . 
 
 Who 
 
( 47 ) 
 
 Who worry, butcher, plague, and feizc. 
 
 Both friends and foes—whoe’er they pleafe. 
 
 Our chambers now are fill’d with fpies,J 
 Who fend to court their weekly lies; 
 
 Swearing we wifh for James’s heirs, 
 
 Tho’ kneeling then devout at prayers. 
 
 A loyal health we dare not drink: 
 
 Are fcarce allow’d the power to think. 
 
 Shall Thefe accufe, inform, declame, 
 
 And fwear away our Oxford’s fame j 
 Her fons in blacked; colours paint 
 For boafting virtues, which they want. 
 
 Oh! Guardian bold ! oh ! happy Vice ! 
 
 I call thee happy once and twice. 
 
 Thy fufferings but augment thy fame. 
 
 And fpread a luftre round thy name j 
 As the bright fun is brighter made, 
 
 And draws new glories from a fhade. 
 
 We envy thee, thy virtues prize, 
 
 When Dunces fcorn, and Courts defpife! 
 
 % Deteftabiles ijii delatores, qut ita res nojlras modo turba- 
 runt , ut fua cum infamia Academics dedecus conjungere fperarent. 
 
 p. 22. 
 
 || Id dolere mag is, an ei gratulari debeam , baud fat is feio. 
 p. 22,3. 
 
As matters at St. ’James's, go, 
 
 No Wonder if each hated foe 
 Of ours, to make him fome amends. 
 
 Should find at court fo many friends: * 
 
 In hiftory ’twas never read, 
 
 That fools e’er prais’d a wifer head j 
 But ever lick’d thofe fenfelefs elves 
 As weak and brainlefs as themfelves. 
 
 It was, and ever will be thus, 
 
 That virtue’s foes, are foes to us. -f* 
 
 ’Tis not our morals they difclaim, 
 
 They envy us our learned fame ; 
 
 Which fpreads fo far, and Ihines fo bright. 
 
 It dazzles and confounds their fight : 
 
 Quite blind, by its ftrong luftre made; 
 
 As Owls fee cleared: in the fihade. 
 
 Our glory fafe, let other folks 
 Enjoy their fatire, wit, and jokes ; 
 
 Deride our loyal fpeech’s beauty. 
 
 And charge us with a want of duty : 
 
 * ^. e . m ' lremin ' 1 unde tales vtri & omnes calumniatores noflri 
 fatrocinium invenerint , &c. p. 23. 
 
 2 P Qte ft $ u * n i 'h qui liberalem doftrinam virtutemaue 
 
 tp]a?n feniper male oderunt , ha fee fedes Itberali omnl doftrina* iff 
 virtute ornatijfimas aperte odcrint, p. 23. 
 
(49 ) 
 
 Let them defpife, and laugh their fill* 
 
 The world will think us honej} ftill. 
 
 We fent to court a learn’d addrefs, t 
 With others meant to grace the prels; 
 
 Our dodtors all appear’d in red, 
 
 Our Guardian Leader at their head: 
 
 We there breath’d out our hearty prayers 
 j For our good king, and all his heirs; 
 
 Call’d ourfelves fubje&s good and loyal 
 To him, and all the Branches Royal; 
 
 We thank’d him for our happy Peace, 
 
 Our Rights fecur’d, and Trade’s increafe, 
 
 For lifting high our fame again. 
 
 Sinking the fleets of France and Spain : 
 
 And yet, for all our love and zeal 
 Profefs’d to ferve the commonweal, 
 
 What ufage did our Patriots find ? 
 
 A fcornful Court—a Prince unkind j 
 \ Ne ’ er troubling, with our fpeech, his head, 
 But fent, ah! fent it back unread ! 
 
 Nay feem’d to frown—as who fliould fay, 
 Trudge home, to Oxford poll away; 
 
 t Gratulationes laudationefque, quas ex more nos decernimiu 
 five ad praftandum officium , five ad ineundam gratiam , frujira 
 fnt s repuduntur ,, etiam hep criminis patentur. p. 24-5/ 
 
 H 
 
 Nay 
 
 ✓ 
 

 ( 5° ) 
 
 Corredt your homely coarfe Addrefs, Y 
 
 Your thoughts more loyally exprefs, > 
 
 And cook for Courts a better mefs: j 
 
 This, one half rude, the other rough, 
 
 A mere ragout of kitchen fluff.— 
 
 Thus boys are often huff d at fchools. 
 
 Or lafh’d, for breaking Lilly's rules. 
 
 That all are bad, fhould courts agree. 
 
 For the loofe freaks of two or three ? 
 
 Oh! Juflice, whither art thou fled! 
 
 Where, Solon , thy wife flatutes read ! 
 
 If one wild Rake offends the laws, 
 
 Mufl every man be deem’d a Dawes ? 
 
 As if in towns, where plots are hatching, 
 Treafon fhould, like plague, be catching j. 
 Infedt whole cities ; as the fore. 
 
 Of one bad fheep, that taints a fcore. 
 
 ’Tis fcarce a wonder, courts fhould blame,* 
 And tear in pieces Oxford’s fame; 
 
 Who the fame wicked arts employ 
 Their bleeding country to deflroy! 
 
 * Non eji bodie fpatium, de pravitate horum hominum & 
 injur its conquerendi, ac permittendi vela dolori meo. p. 25. 
 
 Yet 
 
( 5i ) 
 
 Yet who can dop the figh, when Thofe, -j* 
 Plot, fwear, and live her greated foes. 
 
 Each quarter who receive her pay. 
 
 And eat her mutton twice a day; 
 
 Have every thing their hearts defire, — 
 
 Beds, chambers, blankets, books, and fire: 
 
 That Thefe fliould a<51 the traitor’s part,— 
 l Stab their dear parent to the heart! 
 
 This gives our breads their pangs and pains. 
 Confounds us, and half turns our brains, 
 
 To find our Fame to fhatters tore, 
 
 —3 
 
 By gracelefs fons we nurd before. 
 
 Let then our Oxford 's daring foes; 
 
 Her fons, who triumph in her woes- 
 
 Deride a while — if Heaven but lend 
 A few years more to its bed friend. 
 
 Her impious members fhall repent 
 More than they ever did in Lent , 
 y When my learn’d volumes have difplay’d 
 The wicked tricks her Turncoats play’d; 
 
 Comp lures in jinu almce matris nojira educati , qnique quo- 
 tidianis ejus frutiibus aluntur & crefcunt , earn tamen y mente 
 infidelijfuna y iff paricidali aggrediuntur * p. 24. 
 
 * In its libris, quibus Academiam defendere cogito , in acer- 
 rimos iftos adverfarios , iff obtreftatores noflros Jhidiofius iff li - 
 berm inquiram . p. 25. 
 
 H 2 
 
 •Each 
 
( 52 ) 
 
 Each drop that iffues from my Quill, 
 
 Shall fure as Aquafortis kill ; 
 
 A wound into each bofom dart, 
 
 And fling thefe vipers to the heart. 
 
 But tho’ I dip my pen in Gall, 
 
 Think not I mean to blacken all: 
 
 So candid, and fo well inclin’d. 
 
 So great a lover of mankind. 
 
 My charity could ne’er fuppofe,* 
 
 Britain % wife Guardians were her foes; 
 
 I always take our rulers part, 
 
 And hate lnve£tives from my heart. 
 
 Nor ever could impute the crimes 
 Juft hinted, to our godly Primes, 
 
 But the lewd Genius of the times. 
 
 Some inaufpicious ftars above, 
 
 Saturn , or Venus, Mars, or Jove, 
 
 Have club’d together to devife 
 Thefe mifehiefs in the plotting fkies j 
 Look’d red and angry, and from thence 
 Darted their baleful influence. 
 
 * Id quidem , non praclaris r.oftris reipullica tujledilus, 
 (quos ego fane quam diligenter obfervo omnes) fed diffi.illimo 
 huic tempori, & feculi moribus & vitiis, & invido cuidam & 
 fitiijlro fato ajfignandum oportet. p. 27. 
 
 Not 
 
\ 
 
 ( 53 ) 
 
 Not wicked Courts, as fome fuppofe ; 
 
 The Planets only are our foes! 
 
 And where can man a refuge find, 
 
 If Stars are crofs, and Heaven unkind ? 
 
 If they refolve no more to fmile; 
 
 But rain down plagues upon our ifle! 
 
 Since then I would, but dare not fight, 
 
 To do my injur’d country right.- 
 
 To fave her from the laft defpair. 
 
 Sure I may breathe one pious prayer •, ^ 
 
 And here my zeal begins to burn! 
 
 One word would fave her yet— Return ! f- 
 (Some wits perhaps may think from hence, 
 
 I ufe it in a wicked fenfe ; 
 
 And as my meaning they expound. 
 
 May find rank Treafon in the found,) 
 
 But fince I mean not to abufe it, 
 
 With Holies' leave once more I ufe it. 
 
 Genius of Britain , free and bold. 
 
 That didft enflame, in days of old, 
 
 * Shioraam in bum /latum plane pervenimus, ut nihil nifi 
 prec^ et veta res nojlras adjuvare , aut nobisJupereje videantur , 
 
 (’!**“*. Overturn-mmn, qufpe meum 
 ab in fleet, s & malevohs vans improbari, iterandum eji tamo ,) 
 Kedeat,— p. 29. J ' 
 
( 54 ) 
 
 Thy generous fons to plead the caufc. 
 
 Of injur’d rights, and patriot laws; 
 
 Return ! once more Return ! and fmile, 
 
 Upon thy once Dear favourite Ifle ; 
 
 Each virtuous breaft again infpire. 
 
 With that celeftial glowing fire. 
 
 Which taught ’em nobly how to adt, 
 
 When their dear freedom was attack’d: 
 
 Without thy help, each mother’s fon. 
 
 In Britain , muft be quite undone! 
 
 Expedt, if lawlefs power prevails, 
 
 Nothing but halters, fines, and goals; 
 
 Our tatter’d ftudents thro’ the Town 
 In raggs—without a cap or gown. 
 
 Once more, Ajlrcea ! vifit earth, 
 
 A facred goddefs by thy birth ! 
 
 Thy antient feat once more regain, 
 
 Prefide in courts, in fenates reign j 
 Thou Goddefs, thou, ah ! clip the claws, 
 
 Of all our cruel harpy laws j 
 That people may enjoy their eafe, 
 
 And ufe their inkhorns, as they pleafe ; 
 
 * Rede at nobis AJiraa nojlra, aut quocunque nomine ma- 
 Jit vocari ipfa fuflitia .—p. 29. 
 
 f Amandetque procul (ohprocul!) a civilus noftris grajfa- 
 tiones, fuperbas dominations, infames delatores, (Ac, p. 30. 
 
( 55 ) 
 
 Let not the guiltlefs feel thy ftrokes. 
 
 For a few harmlefs merry Jokes; 
 
 Unheard their caufe, be fent to jail. 
 
 For healths, when overcome with ale $ 
 Who ne’er were known once to commit 
 Such frolics in a fober fit ; 
 
 In every college, every hall. 
 
 Good, loyal, ferious fnbjefts all; 
 
 And zealous for the royal line, 
 
 In none more zealous than in mine. 
 
 To me who pay a juft regard; 
 
 Who often pray, and ftudy hard ; 
 
 Fond of the precepts I inftil. 
 
 Nor ever aft againft my will. 
 
 Return bleft-, the talk be thine 
 
 To form our manners and refine ! 
 
 Look fweet, and on thy Britain fmile ! 
 Drive each curft lawyer from thy Ifle; 
 Like Pruffia'% monarch, make a ftand,* 
 Nor leave one Lawyer in the land 
 Locufts, that pefter us, and plague 
 Worfe than thofe Vermin once at Prague ; 
 
 * 0/ hororatum, femper et honorandumprudentijfimi illius re- 
 gis Borujfuz nomen ! —p. 30. in notis. 
 
 Upon 
 
( 56 ) 
 
 Upon our beef who dine and fup, 
 
 Eat half our pork and puddings up. 
 
 Goddefs, return ! and let our houfes 
 Be grac’d with blulhing, model! fpoufes 
 Who pay their Lords a homage due. 
 
 Virtuous, fair nymphs, and chaft like you. 
 
 By thee, be all our Senates fill’d, 
 
 With patriots in our laws well Ikill’d; 
 
 Who, tho’ they want your matchlefs parts. 
 Your learned heads, and upright hearts. 
 
 Yet, ah! ’twould be a fcandal quite, 
 
 To chufe ’em e’er they learn’d to write, 
 
 Or could a ftatefman’s judgment fhew. 
 
 When to pronounce their Aye, and No. 
 
 Goddefs! once more and I have done ? 
 
 Oh ! fmile upon thy begging fon ! 
 
 Be it thy talk, and kindly care, 
 
 (It is my lalt and parting prayer) 
 
 That all our do&ors may be fages. 
 
 The wonder of all future ages ; 
 
 •f- Ut feemtnce omnes fint quam ftmiliima hulc pr&fianti 
 nympharum cohorti. —p. 31, 
 
 t Coerce ant milites ; ut ncquis omnino unquam clvis Ingenuus^ 
 innocens , indemnatus vexetur , mulietur , fpolietur ! _p. 30. 
 
 Our 
 
 r \ 
 
A 57 ; 
 
 Our Bachelors and IVIaders grave,* 
 
 With modedy our Sophs behave, 
 
 Study at dated hours, and dine. 
 
 And always be in bed by nine : 
 
 But never venture up their flairs. 
 
 Before they fird have faid their prayers. 
 
 When met, one namelejs day m Jane y 
 Let no bafe fpies moled our tune ; 
 
 Nor interrupt our loyal drain_ 
 
 ---The king Jhall have his own again 
 None creep into our club by dealtb. 
 
 And plague us for an honed health } + 
 
 Thou Goddefs pleas’d to hear us fingf 
 For well thou weeted who is King ! 
 
 Our bottles and our pipes before us, 
 
 Thou too perhaps may’d join the Chorus! 
 
 Whene’er you chufe a worthy heir 
 To grace and fill your Arran's chair ; 
 
 Let him, his dation to adorn,JJ 
 Be learn’d, polite, and nobly born ; 
 
 dotli, graves Aonefti] ut/Zfus’l^A A udk f 1 ’J 
 conjtantirs famarn , fsf tenol'emfuumll C “ dc ™“ us fer 
 
 & irgenuis chTbus Zdigmfm™™^ * U * aUorum K ° r * 
 
 a ^ arum Zndo£IuZyZpiiZ a Z^S e Zl mn f l Z 1 f u / er f um > ’mm £- 
 
 ,:ms apuerhia dcdi:um ’ U‘:t 
 
 1 (Anh 
 
( 58 ) 
 
 (Jrfiis can tell you by his books, 
 
 Who fprang from Porters, who from Dukes j 
 And knows your wife men, from your fools. 
 
 By chevrons, crofles, bends, and gules) 
 
 Into his parts and birth enquire. 
 
 What Patriot Hero was his Sire ; 
 
 If ikill’d in Greek and Latin found; 
 
 His heart fincere, and Morals found j 
 True to the crown, and—ever fince 
 We loft him, loyal to bis prince ! 
 
 And long your fenate need not mufe. 
 
 Wife Chain will guide you who to chufe! 
 
 Nc courtly fool, no royal Have ! 
 
 But one, like Ormond , juft and brave j 
 Infpir’d by virtue, who would drain 
 In Freedom’s caufe each generous vein. 
 
 May fuch our Courts and Councils fway! 
 Such the lov’d Patriots we obey! 
 
 By thefe your Oxford’s fame fhall rife, 
 
 As high and higher than the fkies, 
 
 While, curs’d by my avenging ink, 
 
 Acl base INFORMERS starve and stink 
 
 
 
 FINIS. 
 
( 59 ) 
 
 An APPENDIX. 
 
 The following piece of humour having been 
 the occafion of much pleafantry, about the 
 year 1722, (in which year the Doctor s un¬ 
 lucky Genius put him upon offering himfelf 
 a Candidate to reprefent the Univerfity of Ox¬ 
 ford in Parliament, and thereby brought 
 upon him the foreft difgrace that ever am¬ 
 bition felt) I hope the readers of thefe 
 pages will not be difpleafed at feeing it in 
 print. By the turn of the raillery, the Dodtor 
 appears to have been much the fame charac¬ 
 ter then and ever fince——A perfon of un¬ 
 bounded Pride, and arrogantly laying claim 
 to the faireft Honours; Vain beyond his Cir- 
 cumftances; Impatient of Difappointment; a 
 Zealot, miftrufted by his own Party ; and a 
 Creature defpifed and laugh’d at by his E- 
 nemies, 
 
 I 2 Dr. 
 
( 6o ) 
 
 Dr. KING’S PETITION, 
 
 In Imitation of 
 
 Mrs. Harris’s, in Swift's Mifcellanies; 
 
 T O the Honourable House of Commons 
 the petition of Dr. King, 
 
 Whom the Heads of Homes, next to Dr. Bar - 
 rifon , hate like any thing.— 
 
 That your petitioner was made Head, becaufe 
 there were no people in the Ball j 
 ‘That your petitioner having no money, in the 
 late Eledion loft it all j 
 
 That your Petitioner was call’d by the fitting 
 Burgefles Dr. Barrijoris Tool, 
 
 And fo tho’ your Petitioner flood for a Parlia¬ 
 ment Man, yet he went for a Fool. 
 
 Upon which, Dr. Barrijon could not help faying 
 when he came from Fermore, 
 
 That Dr. Clark was an ignorant Scoundrel, and 
 Bromley a d—d ftupid fon of a W—re j 
 
 2 That 
 
( 6i ) 
 
 * bat Dr - CIark was ele^ed, tho’ Mr. Stanford 
 declar d, at Bdliol Gaudy, 
 
 That he bow’d as fliff as if he had a flake run 
 thro’ his Body; 
 
 That your Petitioner bought two Tye-Wig S in 
 Honour of his Mother ; 
 
 That your Petitioner wore one himfelf, and lent 
 \ Dr. Harrifon the other j 
 
 That your Petitioner hopes this Honourable 
 House will think it no Sin is, 
 
 If, upon the Account of the Election, he lent 
 Pwifi of Baliol two Guineas; 
 
 That your Petitioner had had nineteen more 
 Votes, 
 
 Ummtten Country Curates had had time to pull 
 off their Boots } 
 
 That your Petitioner thinks that damn’d rogue 
 the Vice-Chancellor, in a pet 
 
 .Order’d the EleSion no, to be on Sunday, ’ Clu r e 
 your Petitioner’s friends were in debt. 
 
 That your Petitioner was in hopes of one" Vote 
 more having, 
 
 Becaufe he told Mr. Trifram of Pembroke to de¬ 
 dicate his Vida to Lord Craven. 
 
 Ihat 
 
A 
 
 ( 62 ) 
 
 That, if it had not been for the d—d Principal, 
 your Petitioner affirms, to his Knowledge, 
 An itch of ferving your Petitioner had ran thro 
 Jefus College; 
 
 That when Dr. Harrifon acquainted the Vice- 
 Chancellor with his Political Conjeftuies, 
 He defir’d Dr. Harrifon to read his Hijlorical 
 
 Lehiures ; a 
 
 That your Petitioner can prove, That even their 
 own party allows, 
 
 There were fome Fellows of All-Souls who voted 
 for a Man of their own Houfe ; 
 
 That fome people have compar’d your Petitioner 
 
 to Sir Martin Marrall , in a joke, 
 
 Becaufe, tho’ your Petitioner open’d his Mouth, 
 it was Dr. Harrifon fpoke ; 
 
 That your Petitioner is now in Danger of lofing 
 his Goods and Chattels, 
 
 But he hop’d the firft Seffion would have pai 
 off his Battels j 
 
 That when this affair was come pretty near a 
 Decifion, 
 
 It was fcandaloufly reported that your Petitioner 
 defign’d to petition} 
 
 A 
 
 That 
 
( 6 3 
 
 7 hat your petitioner has loft both his Election 
 and Place, 
 
 Which is as true to be fure as how that Dr Har- 
 rifon has got a Prize-fighter’s Face j 
 *That your Petitioner thinks it a matter of^l 
 Grievance to the Nation, 
 
 That when Dr. Harrifon fent, the Vice-Chan- £ 
 cellor would not dilmifs the Convocation, i 
 Which, with other Grievances, he humbly J 
 conceives deferves a Royal Vijitation. J 
 
 
 FINIS . 
 
 c: 
 
 , 
 

A A A A A"