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A.
NARRATIVE
Jä J y º © OF SOME OF
T H E LORD's DEA LING's
WITFI
GEORGE MüLLER.
FIRST PART.
3Fifth 3Euſtion.
J. NISBET & Co., BERNER'S STREET, LONDON.
TO BE HAD ALSO IN BRISTOL,
AT. W. WHEREAT’S, No. 7, coRN STREET; AND AT THE BIBLE AND
TRACT WAREHOUSE OF THE SCRIPTURAL RNOWLEDGE
INSTITUTION FOR HOME AND ABROAD, No. 34, PARK STREET;
AND THROUGH ALL BOOKSELLERS.
1855.
. . . . [Entered at Stationers' Hall]
LONDON :
PRINTED BY J. DAVY AND sons, 137, LONG ACRE,
24- 0%, 0. 42, e cºv.
%22%2,
2, rrø, P. R. E. F. A. C. E.
TO THE
FIRST EDITION OF THE FIRST PART.
IT was only after the consideration of many months, and
after much self-examination as to my motives, and after
much earnest prayer, that I came to the conclusion to
write this little work. I have not taken one single step
in the Lord’s service, concerning which I have prayed so
much. My great dislike to increasing the number of
religious books would, in itself, have been sufficient to
have kept me for ever from it, had I not cherished the
hope of being instrumental in this way to lead some of
my brethren to value the Holy Scriptures more, and to
judge by the standard of the word of God the principles
on which they act. But that which weighed more with
me than any thing was, that I have reason to believe
from what I have seen among the children of God, that
many of their trials arise, either from want of confidence
in the Lord as it regards temporal things, or from carry-
ing on their business in an unscriptural way. On account,
therefore, of the remarkable way in which the Lord has
dealt with me as to temporal things, within the last ten
years, I feel that I am a debtor to the church of Christ,
and that I ought, for the benefit of my poorer brethren
especially, to make known, as much as I can, the way in
which I have been led. In addition to this, I know it to
be a fact, that to many souls the Lord has blessed what I
have told them about the way in which he has led me,
and therefore it seemed to me a duty to use such means,
whereby others also, with whom I could not possibly con-
verse, might be benefited. That which at last, on May 6,
1836, induced me finally to determine to write this
iy PREFACE TO THE FIRST EDITION.
Narrative was, that if the Lord should permit the book to
sell, I might, by the profits arising from the sale, be
enabled in a greater degree to help the poor brethren and
sisters among whom I labour, a matter which just at that
time weighed much on my mind. I therefore at last
began to write. But after three days I was obliged to
lay the work again aside, on account of my other pres-
sing engagements. On May 15th I was laid aside on
account of an abscess; and now being unable, for many
weeks, to walk about as usual, though able to work at
home, I had time for writing. When the manuscript was
nearly completed I gave it to a brother to look it over,
that I might have his judgment; and the Lord so re-
freshed his spirit through it, that he offered to advance
the means for having it printed, with the understanding
that if the book should not sell, he would never consider
me his debtor. By this offer not a small obstacle was
removed, as I have no means of my own to defray the
expense of printing. These two last circumstances, con-
nected with many other points, confirmed me that I had
not been mistaken, when I came to the conclusion, that
it was the will of God, that I should serve his church in
this way. -
The fact of my being a foreigner, and therefore but
very imperfectly acquainted with the English language, I
judged to be no sufficient reason for keeping me from wri-
ting. The christian reader being acquainted with this
fact, will candidly excuse any inaccuracy of expression.
I'or the poor among the brethren this Narrative is
especially intended, and to their prayers I commend it in
particular. -
GEORGE MüLLER.
Bristol, July 5, 1837.
EXTRACT FROM THE PREFACE
TO THIE
SECOND EDITION OF THE FIRST PART.
As to this second edition I would mention, that while in
substance it is the same as the first, yet, on account of my
increased acquaintance with the English language, many
verbal alterations have been made; also several alterations
have been made on account of the increased light which
the Lord has been pleased to grant me since July 1837; a
few paragraphs have been entirely left out, and a few
new paragraphs have been added.
O GEORGE MüLLER.
21, Paul Street, Kingsdown, Bristol,
October 28, 1840.
EXTRACT FROM THE PREFACE
TO THE
THIRD EDITION OF THE FIRST PART.
As the second edition of four thousand copies is exhausted,
and as the Lord condescends to bless this Narrative more
and more, both to believers and unbelievers, it has appeared
to me a debt which I owe to the church of Christ to publish
this third edition. Several new paragraphs of considerable
length have been introduced.
GEORGE MüLLER.
21, Paul Street, Kingsdown, Bristol,
June 17, 1845.
PREFA C E
To THE
FIFTH EDITION OF THE FIRST PART.
THE fourth edition of four thousand copies is also ex-
hausted, and the Lord condescends to bless yet more and
more this Narrative, both to the conversion of unbelievers,
and to the edification of his own children. On this
account I feel it my duty, as well as my privilege, to send
forth this new edition, in which but few alterations have
been made. A few paragraphs have been left out for the
sake of brevity.
GEORGE MüLLER.
21, Paul Street, Kingsdown, Bristol,
November, 1855.
A.
N A R RATIVE,
&c. &c.
I was born at Kroppenstaedt, near Halberstadt, in the
kingdom of Prussia, on September 27th, 1805. In January
1810 my parents removed to Heimersleben, about four
miles from Kroppenstaedt, where my father was appointed
collector in the excise. As a warning to parents I men-
tion, that my father preferred me to my brother, which
was very injurious to both of us. To me, as tending to
produce in my mind a feeling of self-elevation; and to my
brother, by creating in him a dislike both towards my
father and me.
My father, who educated his children on worldly prin-
ciples, gave us much money, considering our age; not in
order that we might spend it, but, as he said, to accustom
us to possess money without spending it. The result was,
that it led me and my brother into many sins. For Ire-
peatedly spent a part of the money in a childish way, and
afterwards, when my father looked over my little treasure,
I sought to deceive him in making up the accounts, either
by not putting down all the money which he had given me,
or by professing to have more money in hand than was
the case, and counting it out accordingly before him. Now,
though this deceit was found out at last, and I was
punished, yet I remained the same. For before I was ten
years old I repeatedly took of the government money
which was intrusted to my father, and which he had to
make up; till one day, as he had repeatedly missed money,
he detected my theft, by depositing a counted sum in the
room where I was, and leaving me to myself for a while.
Being thus left alone, I took some of the money, and hid
it under my foot in my shoe. When my father, after his
return, had counted and missed the money, I was searched
and my theft detected.
2
[A.D. 1820.
Though I was punished on this and other occasions, yet
I do not remember that at any time, when my sins were
found out, it made any other impression upon me than to
make me think how I might do the thing the next time
more cleverly, so as not to be detected. Hence it came,
that this was not the last time that I was guilty of stealing.
When I was between ten and eleven years of age, I was
scnt to Halberstadt, to the cathedral classical school, there
to be prepared for the university; for my father's desire
was, that I should become a clergyman : not, indeed, that
thus I might serve God, but that I might have a com-
fortable living. My time was now spent in studying,
reading novels, and indulging, though so young, in sinful
practices. Thus it continued till I was fourteen years old,
when my mother was suddenly removed. The night she
was dying, I, not knowing of her illness, was playing at
cards till two in the morning, and on the next day, being
the Lord's day, I went with some of my companions in sin
to a tavern, and then we went about the streets half
intoxicated.
The following day I attended, for the first time, the reli-
gious instruction, which I was to receive previous to my
confirmation. This likewise was attended to in a careless
manner; and when I returned to my lodgings, my father
had arrived to fetch my brother and me home to our
mother's funeral. This bereavement made Ino lasting im-
pression on my mind. I grew worse and worse. Three or
four days before I was confirmed, (and thus admitted to
partake of the Lord's supper,) I was guilty of gross im-
morality; and the very day before my confirmation, when
I was in the vestry with the clergyman to confess my sins,
(according to the usual practice,) after a formal manner, I
defrauded him; for I handed over to him only the twelfth
part of the fee which my father had given me for him.
In this state of heart, without prayer, without true re-
pentance, without faith, without knowledge of the plan of
salvation, I was confirmed, and took the Lord's supper, on
the Sunday after Easter 1820. Yet I was not without some
feeling about the solemnity of the thing, and I stayed at
home in the afternoon and evening, whilst the other boys
and girls, who had been confirmed with me, walked about
in the fields. I also made resolutions to turn from those
vices in which I was living, and to study more. But as I
A.D. 1821.] 3
had no regard to God, and attempted the thing in my own
strength, all soon came to nothing, and I still grew worse.
Six weeks after my confirmation I went for a fortnight
to Brunswick, to a sister of my father's, where I became
attached to a young female, who was a Roman catholic.
My time till Midsummer 1821 was spent partly in study,
but in a great degree in playing the piano-forte and guitar,
reading novels, frequenting taverns, forming resolutions to
become different, yet breaking them almost as fast as they
were made. My money was often spent on my sinful
pleasures, through which I was now and then brought into
trouble, so that once, to satisfy my hunger, I stole a piece
of coarse bread, the allowance of a soldier who was quar-
tered in the house where I lodged. What a bitter, bitter
thing is the service of Satan, even in this world!!
At Midsummer 1821 my father obtained an appoint-
ment at Schoenebeck, near Magdeburg, and I embraced
the opportunity of entreating him to remove me to the
cathedral classical school of Magdeburg; for I thought,
that, if I could but leave my companions in sin, and get out
of certain snares, and be placed under other tutors, I should
then live a different life. But as my dependance in this
matter also was not upon God, I fell into a still worse
state. My father consented, and I was allowed to leave
Halberstadt, and to stay at Heimersleben till Michaelmas.
During this time I superintended, according to my father's
wish, certain alterations, which were to be made in his
house there, for the sake of letting it profitably. Being
thus quite my own master, I grew still more idle, and
lived as much as before in all sorts of sin.
When Michaelmas came, I persuaded my father to leave
me at Heimersleben till Easter, and to let me read the
classics with a clergyman living in the same place. As
Dr. Nagel was a very learned man, and also in the habit of
having pupils under his care, and a friend of my father's,
my request was granted. I was now living on the premises
belonging to my father, under little real control, and in-
trusted with a considerable sum of money, which I had to
collect for my father, from persons who owed it to him.
My habits soon led me to spend a considerable part of
this money, giving receipts for different sums, yet leaving
my father to suppose I had not received them. -
In November I went on a pleasure excursion to Magde-

B 2
4. [A.D. 1821.
burg, where I spent six days in much sin, and though my
absence from home had been found out by my father,
before I returned from thence, yet I took all the money I
could obtain, and went to Brunswick, after I had, through
a number of lies, obtained permission from my tutor. The
reason of my going to Brunswick was, the attachment I
had formed eighteen months previously to the young female
residing there. I spent a week at Brunswick, in an ex-
pensive hotel. At the end of the week my money was
expended. This, as well as the want of a passport, pre-
vented my staying any longer in the hotel; but as I still
wished to remain at Brunswick, I went to my uncle, the
husband of my father's sister, and made some excuse for
not having gone to him in the first instance. My uncle,
seeing I suppose my unsteady life, intimated after a week,
that he did not wish me to remain with him any longer.
I then went, without money, to another hotel, in a
village near Brunswick, where I spent another week in an
expensive way of living. At last, the owner of the hotel
suspecting that I had no money, asked for payment, and
I was obliged to leave my best clothes as a security, and
could scarcely thus escape from being arrested. I then
walked about six miles, to Wolfenbuttel, went to an inn,
and began again to live as if I had plenty of money. Here
I stayed two days, looking out for an opportunity to run
away; for I had now nothing remaining, to leave as a pledge.
But the window of my room was too high to allow of my
escaping, by getting down at night. On the second or third
morning I went quietly out of the yard, and then ran off;
but being suspected and observed, and therefore seen to
go off, I was immediately called after, and so had to return.
I now confessed my case, but found no mercy. I was
arrested, and taken between two soldiers to a police officer.
Being suspected by him to be a vagabond or thief, I was
examined for about three hours, and then sent to gaol. I
now found myself, at the age of sixteen, an inmate of the
same dwelling with thieves and murderers, and treated
accordingly. My superior manners profited nothing. For
though, as a particular favour, I received the first evening
some meat with my bread, I had the next day the common
allowance of the prisoners:–very coarse bread and water,
and for dinner vegetables, but no meat. My situation was
most wretched. I was locked up in this place day and
A.D. 1822.] 5.
night, without permission to leave my cell. The dinner
was such that on the first day I completely loathed it, and
left it untouched. The second day I took a little, the third
day all, and the fourth and following days I would fain
have had more. On the second day I asked the keeper
for a Bible, not to consider its blessed contents, but to pass
away the time. However, I received none. Here then I
was; no creature with me; no book, no work in my hands,
and large iron rails before my narrow window.
During the second night I was awakened out of my
sleep by the rattling of the bolts and keys. Three men
came into my room. When I asked them in my fright
what it meant, they laughed at me, continuing quietly to
try the iron rails, to see whether I could escape.—After a
few days I found out, that a thief was imprisoned next to
me, and, as far as a thick wooden partition would allow of
it, I conversed with him; and shortly after the governor
of the prison allowed him, as a favour to me, to share my
cell. We now passed away our time in relating our
adventures, and I was by this time so wicked that I was
not satisfied with relating things of which I had been
really guilty, but I even invented stories, to show him
what a famous fellow I was.
I waited in vain day after day to be liberated.—After
about ten or twelve days my fellow-prisoner and I disa-
greed, and thus we two wretched beings, to increase our
wretchedness, spent day after day without conversing
together.—I was in prison from December 18th, 1821, till
January 12th, 1822, when the keeper came and told me
to go with him to the police office. Here I found, that
the Commissioner, before whom I had been tried, had first
written to my uncle at Brunswick, and when he had
written in reply, that it was better to acquaint my father
with my conduct, the Commissioner had done so; and
thus I was kept in prison till my father sent the money
which was needed for my travelling expenses, to pay my
debt in the inn, and for my maintenance in the prison.
So ungrateful was I now, for certain little kindnesses
shown to me by my fellow-prisoner, that, although I
had promised to call on his sister, to deliver a message
from him, I omitted to do so; and so little had I been
benefited by this my chastisement, that, though I was
going home to meet an angry father, only two hours
– B 3
6 [A.D. 1825.
after I had left the town where I had been imprisoned, I
chose an avowedly wicked person as my travelling com-
panion for a great part of my journey.
My father, who arrived two days after I had reached
Heimersleben, after having severely beaten me, took me
home to Schoenebeck, intending to keep me there till
Easter, and then to send me to a classical school at Halle,
that I might be under strict discipline and the continual
inspection of a tutor. In the mean time I took pupils, whom
I instructed in Latin, French, arithmetic, and German
Grammar. I now endeavoured, by diligence in study, to
regain the favour of my father. My habits were, as to
outward appearance, exemplary. I made progress in my
own studies, benefited my pupils, and was soon liked by
every body around me, and in a short time my father had
forgotten all. But all this time I was in heart as bad as
ever; for I was stillinsecret habitually guilty of great sins.
Easter came, and on account of my good behaviour, my
diligence in study, and also because I was no expense to
my father, but earned much more than I cost him, I easily
persuaded him to let me stay at home till Michaelmas.
But after that period he would not consent to my remain-
ing any longer with him, and therefore I left home, pre-
tending to go to Halle to be examined. But having a
hearty dislike to the strict discipline of which I had heard,
and knowing also that I should meet there young men
attending the university with whom I was acquainted,
enjoying all the liberty of German students, whilst I
myself was still at school: for these and other reasons I
went to Nordhausen, and had myself examined by the
director of the gymnasium, to be received into that school.
I then went home, but never told my father a word of all
this deception, till the day before my departure, which
obliged me to invent a whole chain of lies. He was then
very angry; but at last, through my entreaties and per-
suasion, he gave way and allowed me to go. This was in
the beginning of October 1822.
I continued at Nordhausen two years and six months,
till Easter 1825. During this time I studied with con-
siderable diligence the Latin classics, French, History, my
own language, &c.; but did little in Hebrew, Greek, and
the Mathematics. I lived in the house of the director,
and got, through my conduct, highly into his favour, so
A.D. 1825.] 7
much so, that I was held up by him in the first class as an
example to the rest, and he used to take me regularly with
him in his walks, to converse with me in Latin. I used now
to rise regularly at four, winter and summer, and generally
studied all the day, with little exception, till ten at night.
But whilst I was thus outwardly gaining the esteem of
my fellow-creatures, I did not care in the least about God,
but lived secretly in much sin, in consequence of which I
was taken ill, and for thirteen weeks confined to my room.
During my illness I had no real sorrow of heart, yet being
under certain natural impressions of religion, I read
through Klopstock’s works, without weariness. I cared
nothing about the word of God. I had about three hun-
dred books of my own, but no Bible. I practically set a
far higher value upon the writings of Horace and Cicero,
Voltaire and Moliere, than upon the volume of inspiration.
Now and then I felt that I ought to become a different
person, and I tried to amend my conduct, particularly
when I went to the Lord's supper, as I used to do twice
every year, with the other young men. The day previous
to attending that ordinance, I used to refrain from certain
things; and on the day itself I was serious, and also swore
once or twice to God, with the emblem of the broken
body in my mouth, to become better, thinking that for
the oath’s sake I should be induced to reform. But after
one or two days were over, all was forgotten, and I was as
bad as before.
I had now grown so wicked, that I could habitually tell
lies without blushing. And further, to show how fearfully
wicked I was, I will mention, out of many others, only one
great sin, of which I was guilty, before I left this place.
Through my dissipated life I had contracted debts, which
I had no means of discharging; for my father could allow
me only about as much as I needed for my regular main-
tenance. One day, after having received a sum of money
from him, and having purposely shown it to some of my
companions, I afterwards feigned that it was stolen, having
myself by force injured the lock of my trunk, and having
also designedly forced open my guitar case. I also feigned
myself greatly frightened at what had happened, ran into
the director's room, with my coat off, and told him that
my money was stolen. I was greatly pitied. Some friends
also gave me now as much money as I pretended to have
8 [A.D. 1825.
lost, and the circumstance afforded me a ground upon
which to ask my creditors to wait longer. But this matter
turned out bitterly; for the director, having ground to
suspect me, though he could not prove any thing, never
fully restored me to his confidence. -
As it regards my own feeling, though I was very wicked,
yet this desperate act of depravity was too much, even for
my hardened conscience; for it never afterwards allowed
me to feel easy in the presence of the director's wife, who,
like a kind mother, had waited on me in my illness, and on
whom I had now so wilfully brought trouble. How long-
suffering was God at this time, not to destroy me at once
And how merciful that he did not suffer me to be tried
before the police, who easily would have detected that the
whole was a fabrication! I was heartily glad for many
reasons, but particularly on account of this latter circum-
stance, to be able soon after to exchange the school for
the university. -
I had now obtained what I had fondly looked forward
to. I became a member of the university, and that with
very honourable testimonials. I had thus obtained per-
mission to preach in the Lutheran Establishment; but I
was as truly unhappy, and as far from God as ever. I had
made strong resolutions, now at last, to change my course
of life, for two reasons: first, because, without it, I thought
no parish would choose me as their pastor; and secondly,
that without a considerable knowledge of divinity I should
never get a good living, as the obtaining of a valuable cure,
in Prussia, generally depends upon the degree which the
candidates of the ministry obtain in passing the examina-
tion. But the moment I entered Halle, the university
town, all my resolutions came to nothing.—Being now
more than ever my own master, and without any control
as long as I did not fight a duel, molest the people in the
streets, &c., Irenewed my profligate life afresh, though
now a student of divinity. When my money was spent, I
pawned my watch and a part of my linen and clothes, or
borrowed in other ways. Yet in the midst of it all I had
a desire to renounce this wretched life, for I had no en-
joyment in it, and had sense enough left to see, that the
end one day or other would be miserable; for I should
never get a living. ...But I had no sorrow of heart on
account of offending God.

A.D. 1825.] 9
One day when I was in a tavern with some of my wild
fellow-students, I saw among them one of my former school-
fellows, named Beta, whom I had known four years before
at Halberstadt, but whom at that time I had despised,
because he was so quiet and serious. It now appeared well
to me to choose him as my friend, thinking, that if I could
but have better companions, I should by that means
improve my own conduct. I got into familiar discourse
with him, and we were soon much knit to one another.
“Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh
his arm.” Jeremiah xvii. 5.
This Beta was a backslider. When formerly he was so
quiet at school, I have reason to believe it was because the
Spirit of God was working on his heart; but now, having
departed from the Lord, he tried to put off the ways of
God more and more, and to enjoy the world of which he
had known but little before. I sought his friendship, be-
cause I thought it would lead me to a steady life; and he
gladly formed an acquaintance with me, as he told me
afterwards, because he thought it would bring him into
gay society. Thus my poor foolish heart was again
deceived. And yet, God, in his abundant mercy, made
him, after all, in a way which was never thought of by me,
the instrument of doing me good, not merely for time,
but for eternity.
About this period, June 1825, I was again taken ill in
consequence of my profligate and vicious life. My state
of health would therefore no longer allow me to go on in
the same course, but my desires were still unchanged.
About the end of July I recovered. After this, my con-
duct was outwardly rather better; but this arose only from
want of money. At the commencement of August, Beta,
and I with two other students, drove about the country
for four days. All the money for this expensive pleasure
had been obtained by pledging some of our remaining
articles. When we returned, instead of being truly sorry
on account of this sin, we thought of fresh pleasures; and
as my love for travelling was stronger than ever, through
what I had seen on this last journey, I proposed to my
friends to set off for Switzerland. The obstacles in the
way, the want of money, and the want of the passports,
were removed by me. For, through forged letters from
our parents, we procured passports, and through pledging.
10. [A.D. 1825.
all we could, particularly our books, we obtained as much
money as we thought would be enough. Beta was one
of the party.
On August 18th we left Halle. It will be enough to
say that we went as far as Mount Rigi in Switzerland, by
the way of Erfurt, Frankfort, Heidelberg, Stuttgart,
Zurich, and returned by the way of Constance, Ulm, and
Nuremberg. Forty-three days we were day after day
travelling, almost always on foot. I had now obtained
the desire of my heart. I had seen Switzerland. Dut still
I was far from being happy. The Lord most graciously
preserved us from many calamitous circumstances, which,
but for his gracious providence, might have overtaken us.
But I did not see his hand at that time, as I have seen it
since. Sickness of one or more of us, or separation from
one another, which might have so easily befallen us, would
have brought us, being so far from home, and having but
just as much money as was absolutely needed, into a most
miserable condition. I was on this journey like Judas:
for having the common purse, I was a thief. I managed
so, that the journey cost me but two-thirds of what it cost
my friends. Oh! how wicked was I now. At last all of
us became tired of seeing even the most beautiful views;
and whilst at first, after having seen certain scenes, I had
been saying with Horace, at the end of the day, in my
pagan heart, “Wixi,” (I have lived), I was now glad to
get home again.
September 29th we reached Halle, from whence each of
us, for the remainder of the vacation, went to his father's
house. I had now, by many lies, to satisfy my father con-
cerning the travelling expenses, and succeeded in deceiving
him. During the three weeks I stayed at home, I deter-
mined to live differently for the future. Once more the
Lord showed me what resolutions come to, when made in
man's strength. I was different for a few days; but when
the vacation was over, and fresh students came, and, with
them, fresh money, all was soon forgotten.
At that time Halle was frequented by 1260 students,
about 900 of whom studied divinity, all of which 900 were
allowed to preach, although, I have reason to believe, not
nine of them feared the Lord.
The time was now come when God would have mercy
upon me. His love had been set upon such a wretch as I
A.D. 1825.] 11
was before the world was made. His love had sent his
Son to bear the punishment due to me on account of my
sins, and to fulfil the law which I had broken times without
number. And now, at a time when I was as careless about
him as ever, he sent his Spirit into my heart. I had no
Bible, and had not read in it for years. I went to church
but seldom; but, from custom, I took the Lord’s supper
twice a year. I had never heard the gospel preached, up
to the beginning of November 1825. I had never met
with a person who told me that he meant, by the help of
God, to live according to the Holy Scriptures. In short,
I had not the least idea, that there were any persons really
different from myself, except in degree.
One Saturday afternoon, about the middle of November
1825, I had taken a walk with my friend Beta. On our
return he said to me, that he was in the habit of going on
Saturday evenings to the house of a christian, where there
was a meeting. On further inquiry he told me that they
read the Bible, sang, prayed, and read a printed sermon.
No sooner had I heard this, than it was to me as if I had
found something after which I had been seeking all my life
long. I immediately wished to go with my friend, who was
not at once willing to take me; for knowing me as a gay
young man, he thought I should not like this meeting.
At last, however, he said he would call for me.—I would
here mention, that Beta seems to have had conviction of
sin, and probably also a degree of acquaintance with the
Lord, when about fifteen years old. Afterwards, being
in a cold and worldly state, he joined me in this sinful
journey to Switzerland. On his return, however, being
extremely miserable, and convinced of his guilt, he made
a full confession of his sin to his father; and, whilst with
him, sought the acquaintance of a christian brother, named
Richter. This Dr. Richter, who himself had studied a
few years before at Halle, gave him, on his return to the
university, a letter of introduction to a believing trades-
man, of the name of Wagner. It was this brother
concerning whom Beta spoke to me, and in whose house
the meeting was held.
We went together in the evening. As I did not know
the manners of believers, and the joy they have in seeing
poor sinners, even in any measure caring about the things
of God, I made an apology for coming. The kind answer
V
12 [A.D. 1825
of this dear brother I shall never forget. He said: “Come
as often as you please; house and heart are open to you.”
We sat down and sang a hymn. Then brother Kayser,
now a missionary in Africa, in connexion with the London
Missionary Society, who was then living at Halle, fell on
his knees, and asked a blessing on our meeting. This
kneeling down made a deep impression upon me; for I
had never either seen any one on his knees, nor had I
ever myself prayed on my knees. He then read a chapter
and a printed sermon; for no regular meetings for ex-
pounding the Scriptures were allowed in Prussia, except
an ordained clergyman was present. At the close we
sang another hymn, and then the master of the house
prayed. Whilst he prayed, my feeling was something
like this: “I could not pray as well, though I am much
more learned than this illiterate man.” The whole made
a deep impression on me. I was happy; though, if I had
been asked, why I was happy, I could not have clearly
explained it.
When we walked home, I said to Beta : “All we have
seen on our journey to Switzerland, and all our former
pleasures, are as nothing in comparison with this evening.”
Whether I fell on my knees when I returned home, I do
not remember; but this I know, that I lay peaceful and
happy in my bed. This shows that the Lord may begin
his work in different ways. For -I have not the least
doubt, that on that evening he began a work of grace in
me, though I obtained joy without any deep sorrow of
heart, and with scarcely any knowledge. But that evening
was the turning point in my life.—The next day, and
Monday, and once or twice besides, I went again to the
house of this brother, where I read the Scriptures with
him and another brother; for it was too long for me to
wait till Saturday came again.
Now my life became very different, though not so, that
all sins were given up at once. My wicked companions
were given up ; the going to taverns was entirely dis-
continued; the habitual practice of telling falsehoods was
no longer indulged in, but still a few times after this I
spoke an untruth.-At the time when this change took
place, I was engaged in translating a novel out of French
into German, for the press, in order to obtain the means
of gratifying my desire to see Paris, &c. This plan about
A.D. 1826.] 13
the journey was now given up, though I had not light
enough to give up the work in which I was engaged, but
finished it. The Lord, however, most remarkably put
various obstacles in the way and did not allow me to sell
the manuscript. At last, seeing that the whole was wrong,
I determined never to sell it, and was enabled to abide
by this determination.
Inow no longer lived habitually in sin, though I was still
often overcome, and sometimes even by open sins, though
far less frequently than before, and not without sorrow of
heart. I read the Scriptures, prayed often, loved the bre-
thren, went to church from right motives, and stood on the
side of Christ, though laughed at by my fellow-students.
It had pleased God to teach me something of the mean-
ing of that precious truth: “God so loved the world, that
he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth
in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” I
understood something of the reason why the Lord Jesus
died on the cross, and suffered such agonies in the Garden
of Gethsemane : even that thus, bearing the punishment
due to us, we might not have to bear it ourselves. And,
therefore, apprehending in some measure the love of
Jesus for my soul, I was constrained to love him in return.
What all the exhortations and precepts of my father and
others could not effect ; what all my own resolutions
could not bring about, even to renounce a life of sin
and profligacy: I was enabled to do, constrained by the
love of Jesus. The individual who desires to have his
sins forgiven, must seek for it through the blood of Jesus.
The individual who desires to get power over sin, must
likewise seek for it through the blood of Jesus.
In January 1826, Ibegan to read missionary papers, and
was greatly stirred up to become a missionary myself. I
prayed frequently concerning this matter, and thus made
more decided progress for a few weeks. But soon, alas ! I
was drawn aside. I used frequently to meet a young female,
who also came to the meetings on Saturday evenings;
and being the only pious female of my own age, whom I
knew, I soon felt myself greatly attached to her. This
led away my heart from missionary work, for I had reason
to believe that her parents would not allow her to go with
me. My prayers now became cold and formal, and at
length were almost entirely given up. My joy in the Lord
C
V
14 [A.D. 1826.
left me. In this state I continued for about six weeks.
At the end of that time, about Easter 1826, I saw a de-
voted young brother, named Hermann Ball, a learned man,
and of wealthy parents, who, constrained by the love of
Christ, preferred labouring in Poland among the Jews as
a missionary, to having a comfortable living near his rela-
tions. His example made a deep impression on me. I
was led to apply his case to my own, and to compare my-
self with him ; for I had given up the work of the Lord,
and, I may say, the Lord himself, for the sake of a girl.
The result of this comparison was, that I was enabled to
give up this connexion, which I had entered upon with-
out prayer, and which thus had led me away from the
Lord. When I was enabled to be decided, the Lord smiled
on me, and I was, for the first time in my life, able fully
and unreservedly to give up myself to him.
It was at this time that I began truly to enjoy the peace
of God, which passeth all understanding. In this my joy
I wrote to my father and brother, entreating them to seek
the Lord, and telling them how happy I was ; thinking,
that if the way to happiness were but set before them,
they would gladly embrace it. To my great surprise an
angry answer was returned.—About this period the Lord
sent a believer, Dr. Tholuck, as professor of divinity to
Halle, in consequence of which a few believing students
came from other universities. Thus also, through be-
coming acquainted with other brethren, the Lord led me
OL1.
With the revival of the work of grace in my heart, after
the snare above related had been broken, my former desire
to give myself to missionary service returned, and I went
at last to my father to obtain his permission, without
which I could not be received into any of the German mis-
sionary institutions. My father was greatly displeased,
and particularly reproached me, saying that he had ex-
pended so much money on my education, in hope that he
might comfortably spend his last days with me in a par-
Sonage, and that he now saw all these prospects come to
nothing. He was angry, and told me he would no longer
consider me as his son. But the Lord gave me grace to
remain steadfast. He then entreated me, and wept before
me; yet even this by far harder trial the Lord enabled
me to bear. Before I went away I took an opportunity
A.D. 1826.] 15
of reminding my brother of my former wicked life, and
told him, that now, having been thus blessed by God, I
could not but live for him. After I had left my father,
though I wanted more money than at any previous period
of my life, as I had to remain two years longer in the
university, I determined, never to take any more from
him; for it seemed to me wrong, so far as I rémember, to
suffer myself to be supported by him, when he had no
prospect that I should become, what he would wish me to
be, namely, a clergyman with a good living. This resolu-
tion I was enabled to keep.
By the way I would here observe, that the Lord after-
wards in a most remarkable way supplied my temporal
wants. For shortly after this had occurred, several Ame-
rican gentlemen, three of whom were professors in Ame-
rican colleges, came to Halle for literary purposes, and as
they did not understand German, I was recommended by
T}r. Tholuck to teach them. These gentlemen, some of
whom were believers, paid so handsomely for the instruc-
tion which I gave them, and for the lectures of certain
professors which I wrote out for them, that I had enough
and to spare. Thus did the Lord richly make up to me
the little which I had relinquished for His sake. “O.fear
the Lord, ye his saints; for there is no want to them that
fear him.” Psalm xxxiv. 9.
On my return from my father to Halle, I found that the
more experienced brethren thought that I ought for the
present to take no further steps respecting my desire to
go out as a missionary. But still it was more or less in
my mind.—Whitsuntide and the two days following I
spent in the house of a pious clergyman in the country;
for all the ministers at Halle, a town of more than 20,000
inhabitants, were unenlightened men. God greatly re-
freshed me through this visit. Dear Beta was with me.
On our return we related to two of our former friends,
whose society we had not quite given up, though we did
not any longer live with them in sin, how happy we had
been on our visit. I then told them how I wished they
were as happy as ourselves. . They answered, we do not
feel that we are sinners. After this I fell on my knees,
and asked God to show them that they were sinners.
Having done so, I left them, and went into my bed-room,
where I continued to pray for them. After a little while
C 2
16 [A.D. 1826.
I returned to my sitting room, and found them both in
tears, and both told me, that they now felt themselves to
be sinners. Trom that time a work of grace commenced
in their hearts.
Shortly after this, being still greatly exercised about
going out as a missionary, and wishing much (according to
my natural mind, as Inow see,) to have the matter settled,
in one way or other, without being willing quietly, pa-
tiently, and prayerfully to wait on the Lord, I came to
the conclusion to ascertain the Lord’s mind by the lot.
To this end I not merely drew a lot in private, but I
bought a ticket in the royal lottery, and I left it thus with
the Lord, that if I gained any thing, I should take it to
be his will that I should become a missionary, if not, that
I should remain at home. My ticket came out with a
small sum, on account of which it appeared to me that I
should be a missionary. I therefore applied to the Berlin
Missionary Society, but was not accepted, because my
father had not given his consent.
Very soon afterwards I was led to see in some degree,
and since then much more fully, the error into which I
had fallen respecting the lot. In the first place, it was
altogether wrong that I, a child of God, should have any
thing to do with so worldly and ungodly a system as that
of the lottery. But it was also unscriptural to go to the lot
at all, for the sake of ascertaining the Lord’s mind, and
this I ground on the following reasons. We have neither
a commandment of God for it, nor the example of our
Lord, nor that of the apostles, after the Holy Spirit had
been given on the day of Pentecost. 1. We have many
exhortations in the word of God to seek to know his mind
by prayer and searching the Holy Scriptures, but no pas-
sage which exhorts us to use the lot. 2. The example of
the apostles (Acts i.) in using the lot, in the choice of an
apostle, in the room of Judas Iscariot, is the only passage,
which can be brought in favour of the lot, from the New
Testament, (and to the Old we have not to go under this
dispensation, for the sake of ascertaining how we ought
to live as disciples of Christ). Now concerning this cir-
cumstance we have to remember, that the Spirit was not
yet given (John vii. 39; ch. xiv. 16, 17; ch. xvi. 7, 13),
by whose teaching especially it is that we may know the
mind of the Lord; and hence we find, that, after the day
A.D. 1826.] 17
of Pentecost, the lot was no more used, but the apostles
gave themselves to prayer and fasting to ascertain how
they ought to act.
In addition to this I would give my own experience con-
cerning the lot, but only by way of illustrating the view
just given ; for the word of God is quite sufficient on the
subject. And first as it regards my using the lot in the
above case. How did it turn out P I had repeatedly
asked the Lord to show me his mind, whether he would
have me to be a missionary or not. But not coming to a
satisfactory assurance, and being very anxious to have the
matter settled, I found out in my own judgment a much
shorter way, namely, the lot. I ought to have said to
myself, how can an individual, so ignorant as you are,
think about being a teacher to others ? For though I
was truly begotten again, and rested upon Christ alone for
salvation, still I should not have been able to give a clear
explanation of even the most elementary truths of the
Gospel. How then could I be fit to teach others? The
first thing therefore I ought to have done, was, to seek
through much prayer, and searching the Scriptures, and a
holy life, to obtain more knowledge of divine things. Fur-
ther, as to my impatience in wishing the matter settled,
how could I have been fit to endure in that state the
hardships and trials of a missionary life, in which my pa-
tience, no doubt, would have been much more severely
tried ? I therefore ought to have said to myself, if I can-
not wait quietly, though it be many months longer, before
the Lord shows me clearly his will concerning the matter,
how then can I be fit for missionary work P Instead of
thus comparing my state of heart and knowledge, with
what is required in the Scriptures from him who is to be
a teacher, I ran hastily to the lot, and thought I had done
it prayerfully. And how did it end ? According to my
prayers the lot decided I should be a missionary among
the heathen (and my mind, at that time, especially inclined
to the East Indies.) But the way in which the Lord has
led me since has been very different. And it ought not
to be said in defence of the practice of deciding by lot.—
Perhaps the Lord meant you to be a missionary among
the heathen, but you did not give yourself to the work;
for I actually offered myself to a society, but was not ac-
cepted. Moreover, within the last twenty-six years I have
C 3
18 | A.D. 1826.
repeatedly offered myself most solemnly to the Lord for
this work, and I am as sure that it is not his will that I
should go out as a missionary, for the present, as I am
sure of any thing, Nor could it be said, that perhaps the
Lord yet may call me for this work. For if he should be
pleased to do so to-morrow, yet that would prove nothing
concerning the above point. For I did not use the lot to
ascertain, whether at any period of my life I should be en-
gaged in missionary work, but whether I should then set
about it. And to put such an explanation on the mat-
ter, would be acting as false prophets, who, when their
prophecies fail, try to find out some way or other, whereby
they may show that their prophecies were true.
About two years after Iused the lot in another instance.
I went one day to a village about fifteen miles from Halle,
to see the few believers there. When I was about three
miles from the place, it began to get dark, and finding
myself in a spot, where the road divided, and not knowing
which way I should choose, I was greatly perplexed. I
stood a moment, and then prayed to God to show me by
the lot, which was the right way. Now, truly one may
say, if the use of the lot in our day is according to the will
of God, this was particularly a case for the Lord to direct
me through this means. For here was one of his children
in need, looking up to his Father to help him, through the
lot, out of his difficulty, and this his child also on a jour-
ney in his service. I drew the lot and went the way to
the left. After some time I found I was on the wrong
road. Now, at last, as I did not know how to get into
the right one, I did what I ought to have done before, and
what I believe to be a scriptural way of acting; I prayed
that the Lord graciously would send some one to put me
into the right road; and almost immediately a carriage
came up, and I was directed on my journey.
In one other instance I used the lot some years after.
It concerned a most important matter, important for my
whole life. I had then a degree of conviction, that I
ought prayerfully and patiently to wait for the Lord's
decision. But my natural mind would have the decision
at once, and thus after prayer I drew the lot, to have the
matter in one way or other settled. But facts turned
out completely different from what the lot decided.
To ascertain the Lord's will, we ought to use Scriptural

A.D. 1826.] 19
means. Prayer, the word of God, and his Spirit should be
united together... We should go to the Lord repeatedly in
prayer, and ask him to teach us by his Spirit through his
word. I say, by his Spirit through his word. For if we
should think that his Spirit led us to do so and so, because
certain facts are so and so, and yet his word is opposed to
the step which we are going to take, we should be deceiv-
ing ourselves.
For instance: A brother in business thinks he ought to
leave the house in which he lives, because it is not in a good
situation. He wishes to know the Lord’s mind as he says,
and prays about the matter. After a few days, unexpec-
tedly, a house is offered to him without seeking after it, in
a much better situation. The house is very suitable, as
he thinks; the rent very moderate; and moreover the
person who offers him the house, being a brother himself,
tells him, that because he is a believer he will let him have
it at this cheap rent. There is, however, this scriptural
objection in the way. If he goes into this house, he must
carry on so large a business, to cover his expenses, that his
time will be so occupied as to encroach upon those hours,
which ought to be devoted to his spiritual interests. Now
the scriptural way of deciding would be this: No situa-
tion, no business will be given to me by God, in which I
have not time enough to care about my soul, Matthew
vi. 33. Therefore, however outward circumstances may
appear, it can only be considered as permitted of God, to
prove the genuineness of my love, faith, and obedience,
but by no means as the leading of his providence to in-
duce me to act contrary to his revealed will.
In connexion with this I would mention, that the Lord
very graciously gave me, from the very commencement of
my divine life, a measure of simplicity and of childlike
disposition in spiritual things, so that whilst I was ex-
ceedingly ignorant of the Scriptures, and was still from
time to time overcome even by outward sins, yet I was
enabled to carry most minute matters to the Lord in
prayer. And I have found “godliness profitable unto all
things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that
which is to come.” Though very weak and ignorant, yet
I had now, by the grace of God, some desire to benefit
others, and he who so faithfully had once served Satan,
sought now to win souls for Christ,

20 [A.D. 1826.
I may mention a few instances. I circulated every
month, in different parts of the country, about 300 mis-
sionary papers. I also sold and distributed a considera-
ble number of tracts, and often took my pockets full in
my walks, and distributed them, and spoke to poor people
whom I met. I also wrote letters to some of my former
companions in sin. I visited, for thirteen weeks, a sick
man, who, when I first began to speak to him about the
things of God, was completely ignorant of his state as a
sinner, trusting for salvation in his upright and moral life.
After some weeks, however, the Lord allowed me to see a
decided change in him, and he afterwards repeatedly ex-
pressed his gratitude, that I had been sent to him by
God, to be the means of opening his blind eyes. May
this encourage the believing reader to sow the seed,
though he does not see it spring up at once.
Thus the Lord condescended to begin to use me soon
after my conversion, though but little; for I could bear
but very little, as I did not see at that time as I do now,
A that God alone can give spiritual life at the first, and keep
it up in the soul afterwards. How imperfectly, however,
on account of my ignorance, some of these things were
done, I will show by the following instance. Once I met
a beggar in the fields, and spoke to him about his soul.
But when I perceived it made no impression upon him, I
spoke more loudly; and when he still remained unmoved,
I quite bawled in talking to him; till at last I went away,
seeing it was of no use. Though none had sought the
Lord less than myself, when he was pleased to begin his
work in me; yet so ignorant was I of the work of the
Spirit, that I thought my speaking very loudly would
force into him repentance towards God, and faith in the
Lord Jesus.
Having heard that there was a schoolmaster living in a
village about six miles from Halle, who was in the habit
of holding a prayer meeting at four o'clock every morning,
with the miners, before they went into the pit, giving
them also an address, I thought he was a believer; and as
I knew so very few brethren, I went to see him, in order,
if it might be, to strengthen his hands. About two years
afterwards he told me, that when I came to him first, he
knew not the Lord, but that he had held these prayer-
meetings melely out of kindness to a relative, whose office
A.D. 1826.] 21
it was, but who had gone on a journey; and that those
addresses which he had read were not his own, but copied
out of a book. He also told me, that he was much im-
pressed with my kindness, and, what he considered con-
descension on my part in coming to see him, and this,
together with my conversation, had been instrumental in
leading him to care about the things of God, and I knew
him ever afterwards as a true brother.
This schoolmaster asked me, whether I would not preach
in his parish, as the aged and infirm clergyman would be
very glad of my assistance. Up to this time I had never
preached, though for fifteen months past I might have
done so as a student of divinity; for before Christmas
1825 I had been mercifully kept from attempting to
preach, (though I wrote to my father about July that I
had preached, because I knew it would please him), and
after Christmas, when I knew the Lord, I refrained from
doing so, because I felt that I was yet too little instructed
in the things of God. The same reason ought to have
still kept me from preaching; yet I thought, that, by
taking a sermon, or the greater part of one, written by a
spiritual man, and committing it to memory, I might bene-
fit the people. Had I reasoned scripturally, I should have
said, surely it cannot be the will of God, that I should
preach in this way, if I have not enough knowledge of the
Scriptures to write a sermon. Moreover, I had not
enough light nor tenderness of conscience to see, that I
was a deceiver in the pulpit ; for every body supposes,
that the sermon a man preaches is, if not entirely, at
least as to the most part, his own composition.
I now set about putting a printed sermon into a suita-
ble form, and committing it to memory. It was hard
work. There is no joy in man’s own doings and choos-
ings. It took me nearly a whole week to commit to me-
mory such a sermon as would take up nearly an hour in
repeating. I got through it, but had no enjoyment in the
work. It was on August 27, 1826, at eight in the morn-
ing, in a chapel of ease, in connexion with which my friend
was schoolmaster.” At eleven I repeated the same ser-
mon verbatim in the parish church. There was one service
* The schoolmasters, as well as the clergymen, in Prussia, are
connected with the State. *-*
22 [A.D. 1826.
more, in the afternoon, at which I needed not to have
done any thing; for the schoolmaster might have read a
printed sermon, as he used to do. But having a desire to
serve the Lord, though I often knew not how to do it
scripturally; and knowing that this aged and unenlight-
ened clergman had had this living for forty-eight years,
and having therefore reason to believe, that the gospel
scarcely ever had been preached in that place; I had it in
my heart to preach again in the afternoon. But I had no
second sermon committed to memory. It came, however,
to my mind to read the 5th chapter of Matthew, and to
make such remarks as I was able. I did so. Immediately
upon beginning to expound “Blessed are the poor in
spirit, &c.” I felt myself greatly assisted; and whereas in
the morning my sermon had not been simple enough for
the people to understand it, I now was listened to with
the greatest attention, and I think was also understood.
My own peace and joy were great. I felt this a blessed
work. After the service I left the aged clergyman as soon
as possible, lest I should lose my enjoyment.
On my way to Halle I thought, this is the way I should
like always to preach. But then it came immediately to
my mind, that such sort of preaching might do for illite-
rate country people, but that it never would do before a
well educated assembly in town. I thought, the truth
ought to be preached at all hazards, but it ought to be
given in a different form, suited to the hearers. Thus I
remained unsettled in my mind as it regards the mode of
preaching; and it is not surprising that I did not then
see the truth concerning this matter, for I did not under-
stand the work of the Spirit, and therefore saw not the
powerlessness of human eloquence. Further, I did not
keep in mind, that if the most illiterate persons in the
congregation can comprehend the discourse, the most
educated will understand it too; but that the reverse
does not hold true.
It was not till three years afterwards that I was led,
through grace, to see what I now consider the right mode
of preparation for the public preaching of the word. But
about this, if God permit, I will say more when I come to
that period of my life.
I now preached frequently, both in the churches of vil-
lages and towns, but never had any enjoyment in doing
A.D. 1826.] 23
so, except when speaking in a simple way; though the
repetition of sermons, which had been committed to
memory, brought more praise from my fellow-creatures.
Dut from neither way of preaching did I see any fruit. It
may be, that the last day may show the benefit even of
these feeble endeavours. One reason why the Lord did
not permit me to see fruit, seems to me, that I should
have been most probably lifted up by success. It may be
also, because I prayed exceedingly little respecting the
ministry of the word, and because I walked so little with
God, and was so rarely a vessel unto honour, sanctified,
and meet for the master's use.
About the time that I first began to preach I lived for
about two months in free lodgings, provided for poor stu-
dents of divinity in the Orphan-House, built in dependance
upon God, by that devoted and eminent servant of Christ,
A. H. Franke, Professor of Divinity at Halle, who died
1727. I mention this, as some years afterwards I was
benefited myself through the faith of this dear man of
God.—About that time I was still so weak that I fell re-
peatedly into open sins, yet could not continue in them,
nay, not even for a few days, without sorrow of heart, con-
fession before God, and fleeing to the blood of the Lamb.
And so ignorant was I still, that I bought a crucifix in a
frame, and hung it up in my room, hoping, that being thus
frequently reminded of the sufferings of my Saviour, I
should not fall so frequently into sin. But in a few days
the looking to the crucifix was as nothing, and I fell
about that very time more than once deeply.
About this time I formed an intimate acquaintance with
a brother, who was also a divinity student; and as we loved
one another so much, and were so happy in one another's
society, we thought that it would greatly add to our joy,
and to one another's benefit, to live together, and that thus
we might mutually help one another. Accordingly in Sep-
tember 1826, I left the free lodgings in the Orphan-House,
and lived with him. But alas! we were not aware, that
because God is greatly glorified by the love and union of
his people, for this very reason Satan particularly hates
it, and will, therefore, in every possible way, seek to di-
vide them. We ought to have especially prayed, and that
frequently, that the Lord would keep us together in love;
instead of which, I do not think that we at all feared dis-
24 [A.D. 1827.
J
union, as we loved one another so much. For this reason
our great adversary soon got an advantage by our neglect-
ing prayer concerning this point, and we were disunited,
and love and union were not fully restored between us till
after we had been for some time separated.
Having heard that a very rich lady of title, residing at
IFrankfort-on-the-Maine, about two hundred miles from
Płalle, was a very pious person, and, in visiting a charita-
ble institution at Dusselthal, had given very liberally; and
wishing much about the commencement of the year 1827
to help a poor relative with a small sum of money, and also
to pay the remainder of the debt which I had contracted
for my travelling expenses to Switzerland: I wrote to this
lady, asking her to lend me a small sum of money, in ac-
tual amount only little above £5., but, as money in the
North of Germany has much more value than in England,
it was as much as £12. or £15. in this country. Whilst
I was writing, however, the thought occurred to me, sup-
pose this lady should not be a believer ? I, therefore,
pointed out to her the way of salvation, and related to her
how I had been brought to the knowledge of the truth.
But I received no answer by the time I might have had
one.—I would just notice, that for the last twenty-five
years my practice, on account of what I found in the
Scriptures, Rom. xiii. 8, as it regards borrowing money,
has been different. And, moreover, I have considered
that there is no ground to go away from the door of the
Lord to that of a brother, so long as he is so willing to
supply our need.
About January 20th I was one day very wretched.
Satan obtained an advantage over me through over-much
work; for I was in the habit of writing about fourteen
hours a day. One morning I was in so wretched a state,
that I said in my heart, what have I now gained by be-
coming a christian. Afterwards I walked about in the
streets in this wretched state of heart, and at last I went
into a confectioner's shop, where wine and ardent spirits
were sold, to eat and to drink. But as soon as I had
taken a piece of cake I left the shop, having no rest, as I
felt that it was umbecoming a believer, either to go to
such places, or to spend his money in such a way. In the
afternoon of the very day on which, in the ingratitude of
my heart, I had had such unkind thoughts about the

A.D. 1827.] 25
Lord, (who was at that very time in so remarkable a man-
ner supplying my temporal wants, by my being employed
in writing for an AMERICAN Professor), he graciously
showed me my sin, not by a severe chastisement, as I
most righteously deserved, but by adding another mercy
to the many he had already shown me. Oh! how long- A
suffering is our Lord. How does he bear with us ! May
I at least now seek, for the few days whilst I may stay in
this world, to be more grateful for all his mercies
At two o'clock I received a parcel from Frankfort, con-
taining the exact sum of money of which I had requested
the loan. There was no letter to be found. I was over-
whelmed with the Lord’s mercy, but very much regretted
that there was no letter. At last, on carefully examining
the paper in which the silver had been packed, I found one,
which I have kept, and which I translate from the German.
“A peculiar providence has brought me acquainted with
the letter which you have written to Lady B. But you are
under a mistake concerning her, both as it regards her cha-
racter, and her stay at D., where she never was. She has
been taken for another individual. But that I may lessen
in some measure the difficulties in which you seem to be, I
send you the enclosed small sum, for which you may thank,
not the unknown giver, but the Lord, who turneth the
hearts like rivers of waters. Hold fast the faith which God
has given you by his Holy Spirit; it is the most precious
treasure in this life, and it contains in itself true happiness.
Only seek by watching and prayer more and more to be
delivered from all vanity and self-complaceny, by which
even the true believer may be ensnared when he least ex-
pects it. Let it be your chief aim to be more and more
humble, faithful, and quiet, May we not belong to those
who say and write continually, ‘Lord,” “Lord,” but who have
him not deeply in their hearts. Christianity consists not
in words, but in power. There must be life in us. For,
therefore, God loved us first that we might love him in re-
turn; and that loving we might receive power, to be faithful
to him, and to conquer ourselves, the world, distress, and
death. May his Spirit strengthen you for this, that you
may be an able messenger of his gospell Amen.
“AN ADORING WORSHIPPER OF THE
SAVIOUR, JESUS CHRIST.”
Frankfort-on the-Maine, January, 14th, 1827.
D
26 [A.D. 1827.
I saw, in some measure, at the time when Ireceived this
letter, how much I needed such a faithful, and, at the same
time, loving word of admonition; but I have seen it more
fully since. Self-complacency, and a want of quietness,
and saying and writing more frequently “Lord,” “Lord,”
than acknowledging him by my life as such; these were
the evils against which at that time I particularly needed
to be cautioned; and up to this day I am still much, very
much, lacking in these points: though the Lord, to his
praise I would say it, has done much for me in these par-
ticulars since that time.
After having read this letter, my heart was full of joy,
shame, and gratitude. Truly it was the goodness of God
which brought my heart into this state, and not the money;
for that was gone in a few hours after, for the two purposes
above referred to. With my heart full of peculiar feelings,
and ashamed of my conduct in the morning, I left the town
towards the evening, to walk alone in a solitary place. And
now, being particularly conscious of my ingratitude to the
Lord for all his mercies, and of my want of steadfastness
in his ways, I could not forbear falling down on my knees
behind a hedge, though the snow was a foot deep, anew to
surrender myself wholly to him, and to pray for strength
that I might for the future live more to his glory, and also
to thank him for his late mercy. It was a blessed time,
I continued about half an hour in prayer.
After such an experience, it may be difficult for one,
who does not know the plague of his own heart, to think
that I was at that time a true believer, when I tell him
that so base was I, so altogether like a beast before my
God, and unmindful of his mercies to me in Christ, that
only a few weeks after I fell into a wretched backsliding
state, in which I continued for many days, during which
time prayer was almost entirely given up. It was on One
of these days that I rang my bell, and ordered the servant
to fetch me wine. And now I began to drink. But how
good was the Lord! Though I desired to drink, that I
might be able more easily to go on in sin, yet he would
not allow me to give up myself to the wickedness of my
heart. For whilst in my ungodly days I had drunk once
about five quarts of strong beer in one afternoon, in the
way of bravado, and once also much wine at one time,
without remorse of conscience, I could now take only two
A.D. 1827.] 27
or three glasses, before the wickedness of my conduct was
brought before me; and my conscience told me that I drank
merely for the sake of drinking, and thus I gave it up.
It was about this time that I formed the plan of ex-
changing the University of Halle for that of Berlin, on
account of there being a greater number of believing pro-
fessors and students in the latter place. But the whole
plan was formed without prayer, or at least without earnest
prayer. When, however, the morning came on which I
had to take decided steps concerning it, and to apply for
the university-testimonials, the Lord graciously stirred me
up, prayerfully to consider the matter; and finding that I
had no sufficient reason for leaving Halle, I gave up the
plan, and have never had reason to regret having done so.
In the vacations, Michaelmas, 1826, and Easter, 1827,
and at other times, I visited a Moravian settlement, called
Gnadau, which was only about three miles distant from the
place where my father then resided. Through the instru-
mentality of the brethren, whom I met there, my spirit
was often refreshed.
The public means of grace by which I could be benefited
were very few. Though I went regularly to church when
I did not preach myself, yet I scarcely ever heard the
truth; for there was no enlightened clergyman in the town.
And when it so happened that I could hear Dr. Tholuck,
or any other godly minister, the prospect of it beforehand,
and the looking back upon it afterwards, served to fill me
with joy. Now and then I walked ten or fifteen miles to
enjoy this privilege. May those who enjoy the faithful
ministry of the word feel exceedingly thankful for it.
There are few blessings on earth greater for a believer;
and yet the Lord is frequently obliged to teach us the
value of this blessing by depriving us of it for a season.
Another means of grace which I attended, besides the
Saturday evening meetings in brother Wagner's house,
was a meeting every Lord’s day evening with the believing
students, which consisted of six or more in number, and
increased, before I left Halle, to about 20; and which,
after the Easter vacation of 1827, was held in my room
till I left Halle. In these meetings one, or two, or more
of the brethren prayed, and we read the Scriptures, sang
hymns, and sometimes also one or another of the brethen
spoke a little in the way of exhortation, and we read also
D 2
28 [A.D. 1827
such writings of godly men as were calculated for edifica-
tion. I was often greatly stirred up and refreshed in these
meetings; and twice, being in a backsliding state, and
therefore cold and miserable, I opened my heart to the
brethren, and was brought out of that state through the
means of their exhortations and prayers. “ Forsake not
the assembling of yourselves together,” is a most impor-
tant exhortation. Even if we should not derive any espe-
cial benefit, at the time, so far as we are conscious, yet
we may be kept from much harm. And very frequently
the beginning of coldness of heart is nourished by keeping
away from the meetings of the saints. I know, when I
was cold, and had no real desire to be brought out of that
state, I went a few times into the villages, where I was
sure not to meet with brethren, that I might not be spoken
to about the things of God. Yet so gracious was the Lord,
that my very wretchedness brought me back after a few
hours. The Lord had begun a good work in me, and being
faithful, though I was faithless, he would not give me up,
but carried on his gracious work in me, though it would
have progressed much more rapidly, had not my rebellious
heart resisted.
As to the other means of grace I would say: I fell into
the snare, into which so many young believers fall, the
reading of religious books in preference to the Scriptures.
I could now no longer read French and German novels, as
I had formerly done, to feed my carnal mind; but still I
did not put into the room of those books the best of all
books. I read tracts, missionary papers, sermons, and
biographies of godly persons. The last kind of books I
found more profitable than others, and had they been well
selected, or had I not read too much of such writings, or
had any of them tended particularly to endear the Scrip-
tures to me, they might have done me much good.—I
never had been at any time of my life in the habit of
reading the Holy Scriptures. When under fifteen years
of age, I occasionally read a little of them at school;
afterwards God’s precious book was entirely laid aside, so
that I never read one single chapter of it, as far as I re-
member, till it pleased God to begin a work of grace in
my heart. Now the scriptural way of reasoning would
have been: God himself has condescended to become an
author, and I am ignorant about that precious book, which
A.D. 1827.] 29
his holy spirit has caused to be written through the in-
strumentality of his servants, and it contains that which I
ought to know, and the knowledge of which will lead me
to true happiness; therefore I ought to read again and
again this most precious book, this book of books, most
earnestly, most prayerfully, and with much meditation;
and in this practice I ought to continue all the days of
my life. For I was aware, though I read it but little, that
I knew scarcely anything of it. But instead of acting
thus, and being led by my ignorance of the word of God
to study it more, my difficulty in understanding it, and
the little enjoyment I had in it, made me careless of reading
it, (for much prayerful reading of the word, gives not
merely more knowledge, but increases the delight we have
in reading it); and thus, like many believers, I practically
preferred, for the first four years of my divine life, the
works of uninspired men to the oracles of the living God.
The consequence was, that I remained a babe, both in
knowledge and grace. In knowledge I say; for all true
knowledge must be derived, by the Spirit, from the word.
And as I neglected the word, I was for nearly four years
so ignorant, that I did not clearly know even the funda-
amental points of our holy faith. And this lack of know-
ledge most sadly kept me back from walking steadily in
the ways of God. For it is the truth that makes us free,
(John viii, 31, 32,) by delivering us from the slavery of
the lusts of the flesh, the lusts of the eyes, and the pride
of life. The word proves it. The experience of the saints
proves it ; and also my own experience most decidedly
proves it. For when it pleased the Lord in Aug. 1829,
to bring me really to the Scriptures, my life and walk be-
came very different. And though even since that I have
very much fallen short of what I might and ought to be,
yet, by the grace of God, I have been enabled to live
much nearer to him than before.
If any believers read this, who practically prefer other
books to the Holy Scriptures, and who enjoy the writings
of men much more than the word of God, may they be
warned by my loss. I shall consider this book to have
been the means of doing much good, should it please the
Lord, through its instrumentality, to lead some of his
people no longer to neglect the Holy Scriptures, but to
give them that preference, which they have hitherto be.
D 3
30 [A.D. 1827.
stowed on the writings of men. My dislike to increase
the number of books would have been sufficient to deter
me from writing these pages, had I not been convinced,
that this is the only way in which the brethren at large
may be benefited through my mistakes and errors, and
been influenced by the hope, that, in answer to my prayers,
the reading of my experience may be the means of leading
them to value the Scriptures more highly, and to make
them the rule of all their actions.
(Before I leave this subject I would only add: If the
reader understands very little of the word of God, he
ought to read it very much; for the Spirit explains the
word by the word. And if he enjoys the reading of the
word little, that is just the reason why he should read it
much; for the frequent reading of the Scriptures creates
a delight in them, so that the more we read them, the
more we desire to do so. And if the reader should be an
unbeliever, I would likewise entreat him to read the Scrip-
tures earnestly, but to ask God previously to give him a
blessing. For in doing so, God may make him wise unto
salvation, 2 Tim. iii. 16.
(If any one should ask me, how he may read the Scrip-
tures most profitably, I would advise him, that:
I. Above all he should seek to have it settled in his own
mind, that God alone, by his Spirit, can teach him, and
that therefore, as God will be inquired of for blessings, it
becomes him to seek God’s blessing previous to reading,
and also whilst reading.
II. He should have it, moreover, settled in his mind,
that although the Holy Spirit is the best and sufficient
teacher, yet that this teacher does not always teach imme-
diately when we desire it, and that, therefore we may have
to entreat him again and again for the explanation of cer-
tain passages; but that he will surely teach us at last, if
indeed we are seeking for light prayerfully, patiently, and
with a view to the glory of God.
III. It is of immense importance for the understanding
of the word of God, to read it in course, so that we may
read every day a portion of the Old and a portion of the
New Testament, going on where we previously left off.
This is important—1, because it throws light upon the
Connexion, and a different course, according to which one
habitually selects particular chapters, will make it utterly
A.D. 1827.] 31

impossible ever to understand much of the Scriptures.
2, Whilst we are in the body, we want a change even in
spiritual things, and this change the Lord has graciously
provided in the great variety which is to be found in his
word. 3, It tends to the glory of God; for the leaving
out some chapters here and there, is practically saying,
that certain portions are better than others; or, that there
are certain parts of revealed truth unprofitable or un-
necessary. 4, It may keep us, by the blessing of God,
from erroneous views, as in reading thus regularly through
the Scriptures, we are led to see the meaning of the whole,
and also kept from laying too much stress upon certain
favourite views. 5, The Scriptures contain the whole
revealed will of God, and therefore we ought to seek to
read from time to time through the whole of that revealed
will. There are many believers, I fear, in our day, who
have not read even once through the whole of the Scrip-
tures; and yet in a few months, by reading only a few
chapters every day, they might accomplish it.
IV. It is also of the greatest importance to meditate
on what we read, so that perhaps a small portion of that
which we have read, or, if we have time, the whole may be
meditated upon in the course of the day. Or a small
portion of a book, or an epistle, or a gospel, through
which we go regularly for meditation, may be considered
every day, without, however, suffering oneself to be
brought into bondage by this plan.)
Learned commentaries I have found to store the head
with many notions, and often also with the truth of God;
but when the Spirit teaches, through the instrumentality
of prayer and meditation, the heart is affected. The
former kind of knowledge generally puffs up, and is often
renounced, when another commentary gives a different
opinion, and often also is found good for nothing, when it
is to be carried out into practice. The latter kind of
knowledge generally humbles, gives joy, leads us nearer to
God, and is not easily reasoned away; and having been
obtained from God, and thus having entered into the
heart, and become our own, is also generally carried out.
If the inquirer after truth does not understand the Hebrew
and Greek languages, so as to be able to compare the
common translation with the original, he may, concerning
several passages, get light by an improved rendering, pro-
32 [A.D. 1827.
wº.
vided he can be sure that the translator was a truly spi-
ritual person.
The last and most important means of grace, namely,
prayer, was comparatively but little improved by me. I
prayed, and I prayed often. I also prayed, in general, by
the grace of God, with sincerity; but had Ibeen more ear-
nestly praying, or even only as much, as I have prayed of
late years, I should have made much more rapid progress.
In August, 1827, I heard that the Continental Society
in England intended to send a minister to Bucharest, the
residence of many nominal German Christians, to help an
aged brother in the work of the Lord; the two other Ger-
man Protestant ministers in that place being, the one
a Socinian, and the other an unenlightened orthodox
preacher. After consideration and prayer I offered my-
self for this work to professor Tholuck, who was requested
to look out for a suitable individual; for with all my
weakness I had a great desire to live wholly for God.
Most unexpectedly my father gave his consent, though
Bucharest was above a thousand miles from my home, and
as completely a missionary station as any other. I con-
sidered this a remarkable providence; though I see now,
that a servant of Christ has to act for his master, whether
it be according to the will of his earthly father or not. I
then went home to spend a short time with my father.
In the town where he lived, containing about 3000 inha-
bitants, I could not hear of a single believer, though I
made many inquiries. The time I stayed with my father
was more profitably spent than it had formerly been. I
was enabled more than ever before to realize my high
calling. I had by the grace of God power over sin; at
least much more than at any former period of my life.
I returned to Halle, and now prepared with earnestness
for the work of the Lord. I set before me the sufferings
which might await me. I counted the cost. And he, who
once so fully served Satan, was now willing, constrained
by the love of Christ, rather to suffer affliction for the
sake of Jesus, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for
a season. I also prayed with a degree of earnestness
concerning my future work.
One day, at the end of October, the above-mentioned
brother, Hermann Ball, missionary to the Jews, attended
the Lord's day evening meeting in my room, on his way
A.D. 1827.] 33
through Halle, and stated that he feared, on account of
his health, he should be obliged to give up labouring
among the Jews. When I heard this, I felt a peculiar
desire to fill up his place. About this very time also I
became exceedingly fond of the Hebrew language, which
I had cared about very little up to that time, and which
I had merely studied now and then, from a sense of duty.
But now I studied it, for many weeks, with the greatest
eagerness and delight. Whilst I thus from time to time
felt a desire to fill up Brother Ball's place as a missionary
to the Jews, (about which, however, I did not seriously
think, because Dr. Tholuck daily expected a letter from
Tondon, finally to settle the particulars respecting my
going to Bucharest); and whilst I thus greatly delighted
in the study of Hebrew: I called in the evening of Nov.
17th on Dr. Tholuck. In the course of conversation he
asked me, whether I had ever had a desire to be a mis-
sionary to the Jews, as I might be connected with the
London Missionary Society, for promoting Christianity
among them, for which he was an agent. I was struck
with the question, and told him what had passed in my
mind, but added that it was not proper to think any
thing about that, as I was going to Bucharest; to which
he agreed.
When I came home, however, these few words were like
fire within me. The next morning I felt all desire for
going to Bucharest gone, which appeared to me very
wrong and fleshly, and I therefore entreated the Lord, to
restore to me the former desire for labouring on that mis-
sionary station. He graciously did so almost immediately.
My earnestness in studying Hebrew, and my peculiar
love for it, however, continued.—About this time I had an
offer of becoming tutor to the sons of a pious Gentleman
of title, which I did not accept on account of my purpose
of going to Bucharest, and if that should come to nothing,
on account of my desire of being a missionary to the Jews.
About ten days after, Dr. Tholuck received a letter
from the Continental Society, stating, that on account of
the war between the Turks and Russians, it appeared well
to the committee, for the time being to give up the thought
of sending a minister to Bucharest, as it was the seat of
war between the two armies. Dr. Tholuck then asked
me again, what I now thought about being a missionary
34 [A.D. 1828.
to the Jews. My reply was, that I could not then give
an answer, but that I would let him know, after I had
prayerfully considered the matter. After prayer and con-
sideration, and consulting with experienced brethren, in
order that they might probe my heart as to my motives, I
came to this conclusion, that, though I could not say with
certainty it was the will of God that I should be a mis-
sionary to the Jews, yet, that I ought to offer myself to
the committee, leaving it with the Lord to do with me
afterwards, as it might seem good in his sight. Accord-
ingly Dr.Tholuck wrote, about the beginning of December,
1827, to the committee in London.
At Christmas I spent a few days at Belleben, a village
about fifteen miles from Halle, where I had been once or
twice before, both for the sake of refreshing the few bre-
thren living there, and also of having my own spirit re-
freshed by their love. One evening, when I was expounding
the Scriptures to them, an unconverted young man hap-
pened to be present, and it pleased the Lord to touch his
heart, so that he was brought to the knowledge of the truth.
In the beginning of the year 1828 there was a new
workhouse established at Halle, into which persons of bad
character were put for a time, and made to work. Being
disposed to benefit unbelievers, I heartily desired to have
permission statedly to preach the word of truth to them
while I stayed at Halle, particularly as I understood that
one of the lecturers of divinity in the university, who was
a Socinian, had applied for this living. I wrote to the
magistrates of the city, and offered to preach to those
criminals gratuitously, hoping that in this way there would
be less objection to my doing so. The reply was, that
Dr. — had applied for this living, and that it had
been laid before the provincial government for considera- .
tion, but that they would be glad, if I would preach in
the workhouse till the matter was decided. The decision
did not come for some time, and I had thus an opportunity
of preaching twice every Lord’s day, and once or twice on
the week evenings; and besides this I took the criminals
One by one into a room, to converse with them about their
Souls. Thus the Lord condescended to give to one so
unworthy, so ignorant, so weak in grace, and so young in
the faith and in years, a most important field of labour.
However, it was well, that even under these circumstances

A.D. 1828.] 35
I should have laboured there; for, humanly speaking, had
I not been there, they would have had either no instruc-
tion at all, or a Socinian, or an unenlightened preacher
would have preached to them. And besides this, I had at
least some qualifications for ministering there; for I knew
the state of those poor sinners, having been myself for-
merly, in all probability, a great deal worse than most of
them, and my simplicity and plainness of speech they
would not have found in every minister. After some
months the matter was decided, the Socinian lecturer of
divinity, Dr. , was appointed to the living, and I
had to discontinue my labours.
It was not before March 1828, that Professor Tholuck
received an answer from London respecting me, in which
the committee put a number of questions to me, on the
satisfactory answers to which my being received by them
would depend. After replying to this first communication,
I waited daily for an answer, and was so much the more
desirous of having it, as my course in the university was
completed. But no answer came. Had my desire, to
serve the Lord among the Jews, been of the flesh, it would
in all likelihood not have continued; but I still thought
about it, and continued to make it a subject of prayer.
At last, on June 13th, I received a letter from London,
stating that the committee had determined, to take me as
a missionary student for six months on probation, provided
that I would come to Tondon.
I had now had the matter before me about seven months,
having supposed, not only that it would have been settled
in a few weeks, but also, that, if I were accepted, I should
be sent out immediately, as I had passed the university.
Instead of this, not only seven months passed over before
the decision came, but I was also expected to come to
London, and not only so, but though I had from my in-
fancy been more or less studying, and now at last wished
actively to be engaged, it was required that I should again
become a student. For a few moments, therefore, I was
greatly disappointed and tried. But on calmly considering
the matter, it appeared to me but right that the com-
mittee should know me personally, and that it was also
well for me to know them more intimately than merely
by correspondence, as this afterwards would make our
connexion much more comfortable. I determined, there-
36 [A. D. 1828,
fore, after I had seen my father, and found no difficulty
on his part, to go to London.
There was, however, an obstacle in the way of my leaving
the country. Every Prussian male subject is under the
necessity of being for three years a soldier, provided his
state of body allows it; but those who have had a classical
education up to a certain degree, and especially those who
have passed the university, need to be only one year in
the army, but have to equip and maintain themselves
during that year. Now, as I had been considered fit for
service, when I was examined in my twentieth year, and
had only been put back, at my request, till my twenty-
third year, and as I was now nearly twenty-three, I could
not obtain a passport out of the country, till I had either
served my time, or had been exempted by the King him-
self. The latter I hoped would be the case; for it was a
well known fact that those who had given themselves to
missionary service, had been always exempted. Certain
brethren of influence, living in the capital, to whom I
wrote on the subject, advised me, however, to write first to
the president of the government of the province to which
I belonged. This was done, but I was not exempted.
Then those brethren wrote to the King himself; but he
replied, that the matter must be referred to the ministry
and to the law, and no exception was made in my favour.
I now knew not what to do. In the meantime, at the
beginning of August, I was taken ill. It was a common
cold at first, but I could not get rid of it, as formerly. At
last a skilful physician was consulted, and powerful means
were used. After some time, he prescribed tonics and
wine. For a day or two I seemed to get better, but after
that it appeared, by the return of giddiness in my head,
that the tonics had been too soon resorted to. At last,
having used still other means, I seemed in a fit state for
tonics, and began again to take them. At the same time
one of my friends, an American Professor, took me as a
companion with him to Berlin and other places, so that
we rode about the country for about ten days together.
As long as I was day after day in the open air, going from
place to place, drinking wine and taking tonics, I felt
well; but as soon as I returned to Halle, the old symp-
toms returned. A second time the tonics were given up,
and the former means used.
A.D. 1828.] - 37
About ten weeks had by this time passed away, since I
was first taken ill. This illness, in which a particular care
for the body seemed to be so right, and in which therefore
frequent walks were taken, and in which I thought myself
justified in laying aside the study of Hebrew, &c., had not
at all a beneficial effect on my soul. In connexion with
this, one of my chief companions at this time, the last-
mentioned American Professor, was a backslider. If the
believing reader does not know much of his own heart and
of man’s weakness, he will scarcely think it possible, that,
after I had been borne with by the Lord so long, and had
received so many mercies at his hands, and had been so
fully and freely pardoned through the blood of Jesus,
which I both knew from his word, and had also enjoyed;
and after that I had been in such various ways engaged
in the work of the Lord; I should have been once more
guilty of great backsliding, and that at the very time
when the hand of God was lying heavily upon me. Oh!
how desperately wicked is the human heart.
It was in this cold state of heart, that I rode with my
friend to Leipsic, at the time of the famous Michaelmas
fair. He wished me to go with him to the Opera. I went,
but had not the least enjoyment. After the first act I
took a glass of ice for refreshment. After the second act
I was taken faint in consequence of this, my stomach
being in a very weak state; but I was well enough, after
a while, to go to the hotel, where I passed a tolerable
night. On the next morning my friend ordered the car-
riage for our return to Halle. This circumstance the
Lord graciously used as a means of arousing me; and, on
our way home, I freely opened my mind to my friend
about the way in which we had been going on; and he
then told me, that he was in a different state of heart,
when he left America. He also told me, when I was
taken faint, that he thought it was an awful place to die
in. This was the second and last time, since I have be-
lieved in the Lord Jesus, that I was in a theatre; and
but once, in the year 1827, I went to a concert, when I
likewise felt, that it was unbecoming for me, as a child of
God, to be in such a place. On my return to Halle I
broke a blood-vessel in my stomach, in consequence of the
glass of ice. I was now exceedingly weak, in which state
I continued for several weeks, and then went for change
E
38 [A.D. 1828.
of air into the country, to the house of a beloved brother
in the Lord, who, up to this day, has continued a kind
and faithful friend to me. My heart was now again in a
better state than it had been before the rupture of the
blood-vessel. Thus the Lord, in the faithful love of his
heart, seeing that I was in a backsliding state, chastised
me for my profit; and the chastisement yielded, in a
measure at least, the peaceable fruit of righteousness.
Heb. xii. 10, 11.
Whilst I was staying in the country, I received a letter
from the American Professor, who had in the meantime
changed Halle for Berlin, and who wished me to come to
Berlin, where, being near the Court, I should be more
likely to obtain an exemption from my military duty; and
he mentioned, at the same time, that all the expenses, con-
nected with my staying in Berlin, would be fully covered
by the remuneration I should receive for teaching German
to himself and two of his friends, for a few hours every
week. As I had no more connexion with the university
at Halle, my course having been finished for more than
six months past, and as I had the prospect of being
spiritually benefited through my stay in Berlin, and there
was no probability, if I remained at Halle, of obtaining
the above-mentioned exemption, I came to the conclusion
to go to Berlin.
Two ladies of title travelled with me to Berlin in a
hired carriage. As I knew that we should be for two
days together, I thought, in my fleshly wisdom, that
though I ought to speak to them about the things of God,
I should first show them kindness and attention, and that,
after having thus opened a way to their hearts, I might
fully set before them their state by nature, and point
them to the Lamb of God. We went on together most
amicably, I making only a few general remarks about
divine things. On the second evening, however, when we
were near the end of our journey, I felt that it was high
time to speak. And no sooner had I begun plainly to do
so, than one of them replied, “Oh Sir, I wish you had
spoken sooner about these things, for we have, for a long
time, wished to have some one to whom we might open
our hearts; but seeing that the ministers whom we know
do not live consistently, we have been kept from speaking
to them.” I now found that they had been under con-
A.D. 1829.] 39
viction of sin for some time, but did not know the way to
obtain peace, even by faith in the Lord Jesus. After this
I spoke freely to them during the hour that yet remained.
They parted from me under feelings of gratitude and
regret that they could hear no more, for they only passed
through Berlin. I felt myself greatly reproved, and all I
could do was, by a long letter, to seek to make up for my
deficiency in ministering to them on the journey. May
this circumstance never be forgotten by me, and may it
prove a blessing to the believing reader!
My chief concern now was how I might obtain a pass-
port for England, through exemption from military duty.
But the more certain brethren tried, though they knew
how to set about the matter, and were also persons of
rank, the greater difficulty there appeared to be in obtain-
ing my object; so that in the middle of January 1829 it
seemed as if I must immediately become a soldier. There
was now but one more way untried, and it was at last
resorted to. A believing major, who was on good terms
with one of the chief generals, proposed that I should
actually offer myself for entering the army, and that then
I should be examined as to my bodily qualifications, in
the hope, that, as I was still in a very weak state of body,
I should be found unfit for military service. In that case
it would belong to the chief general finally to settle the
matter; who, being a godly man himself, on the major's
recommendation, would, no doubt, hasten the decision, on
account of my desire to be a missionary to the Jews. . At
the same time it stood so, that, if I should be found fit
for service, I should have to enter the army immediately.
Thus far the Lord had allowed things to go, to show
me, it appears, that all my friends could not procure me
a passport till his time was come. But now it was come.
The King of kings had intended that I should go to
England, because he would bless me there, and make me
a blessing, though I was at that time, and am still most
unworthy of it; and, therefore, though the King of Prussia
had not been pleased to make an exemption in my favour,
yet now all was made plain, and that at a time when hope
had almost been given up, and when the last means had
been resorted to. I was examined, and was declared to
be unfit for military service. With a medical certificate
to this effect, and a letter of recommendation from the
E 2
40 [A.D. 1829.
major, I went to this chief general, who received me very
kindly, and who himself wrote instantaneously to a second
military physician, likewise to examine me at once. This
was done, and it was by him confirmed that I was unfit.
Now the chief general himself, as his adjutants happened
to be absent, in order to hasten the matter, wrote with
his own hands the papers which were needed, and I got
a complete dismissal, and that for life, from all military
engagements. This was much more than I could have
expected. This military gentleman spoke to me in a very
kind way, and pointed out certain parts of the Scriptures,
which he in particular advised me to bring before the
Jews, especially Romans xi.
On considering why the Lord delayed my obtaining this
permission, I find that one of the reasons may have been,
that I might both be profited myself by my stay in Berlin,
and that I also might be instrumental in benefiting others.
As to the first I would mention, that I learned a lesson in
Berlin which I did not know before. Whilst I was at
Halle, I thought I should much enjoy being among so
many christians as there are in Berlin. But when I was
there I found, that enjoyment in the Lord does not depend
upon the multitude of believers, by whom we are sur-
rounded. As to the second point, perhaps the last day
may show, that the Lord had some work for me in Berlin;
for, from the time of my coming until I left, I preached
three, four, or five times every week in the wards of a
poorhouse, which was inhabited by about three hundred
aged and infirm people. I also preached once in a church,
and likewise visited one of the prisons several times on
Lord’s days to converse with the prisoners about their
souls, where I was locked in by the keeper with the
criminals in their cells.
On the whole my time in Berlin was not lost; and I
was in a better state of heart than I had been for any
length of time before. I was not once overcome by my
former outward besetting sins, though I have nothing to
boast of even as it regards that period; and were only
the sins of those days brought against me, had I not
the blood of Jesus to plead, I should be most miserable,
But I think it right to mention, for the glory of God, as
I have so freely spoken about my falls, that whilst I was
more than ever unobserved by others; and whilst I was

A.D. 1829.1 41
living in the midst of more gaiety and temptations than
ever; and had far more money than at any previous time
of my life; I was kept from things of which I had been
habitually guilty in my unconverted days l—My health
was in a very weak state, almost the whole time whilst I
was staying in Berlin, and I was in no degree better, till
on the advice of a believing medical professor, I gave up
all medicine.
Eſaving now without any further difficulty obtained my
passport, I left Berlin on February 3rd, 1829, for London.
The Lord gave me more grace on my way from Berlin
than on my way to it; for my mouth was almost immedi-
ately opened to my fellow-travellers, and the message of
the Gospel seemed to be listened to with interest, particu-
larly by one. On February 5th I arrived at my father's
house; it was the place where I had lived as a boy, and
the scene of many of my sins, my father having now re-
turned to it after his retirement from office. I came to it
with peculiar feelings. These feelings were not excited
merely by the fact of my having been seven years absent
from it, but arose from the spiritual change I had under-
gone since I last saw the place; for I had never been at
Heimersleben since my father fetched me from thence,
which was a few days after my imprisonment at Wolfen-
buttel had come to an end. There were but three per-
sons in the whole town with whom my soul had any fel-
lowship. One of them had spent all his money in coal
mines, and was then earning his daily bread by thrashing
corn. As a boy I had in my heart laughed at him, for he
seemed so different from all other people. Now I sought
him out, having previously been informed that he was a
brother, to acknowledge him as such, by having fellowship
with him, and attending a meeting in his house on the
Lord's day evening. My soul was refreshed, and his also.
Such a spiritual feast, as meeting with a brother, was a
rare thing to him. May we believers who live in Great
Britain, and especially those of us who are surrounded by
many children of God, seek for grace, more highly to prize
the blessings which we enjoy through fellowship with
brethren This dear brother, who had then been a be-
liever for more than twenty years, had only a few times
heard the gospel preached during all that period. What
a wonderful thing that I, one of the vilest of those brought
E 3
42 [A.D. 1829.
up in that small town, should have been so abundantly
favoured, as to have been brought to the knowledge of the
truth, whilst none of all my relations, and scarcely one of
those who grew up with me, so far as it has come to my
knowledge, know the Lord!
I left my father's house on February 10th, with the
prospect of seeing him again in about a twelvemonth, as a
missionary among the Jews. But how has the Lord gra-
ciously altered matters!—I was kindly lodged for a night
at Halberstadt by an aged brother, and then proceeded
towards Rotterdam, by the way of Munster. At Munster
I rested a few days, and was very kindly received by seve-
ral brethren. They were officers in the army, and two of
them had been, but a little while before this, Roman
Catholics. I lodged in the house of a beloved brother,
a tailor, who likewise had been a Roman Catholic.
About February 22nd I arrived at Rotterdam. I took
lodgings in the house of a believer, where two German
brethren lodged, whom I had known at Halle, and who
intended to go out as missionaries in connexion with the
Dutch Missionary Society. It was a peculiar feeling to
me, for the first time in my life to find myself among
christians of another nation, to attend their family prayer,
hear them sing, &c. In spirit I had fellowship with them,
though our communication was but broken, as I under-
stood but little of the Dutch language. Here also I heard
for the first time the preaching of the Gospel in English,
of which I knew enough to understand a part of what
was said.—My going to England by the way of Rotterdam
was not the usual way; but consulting with a brother in
Berlin, who had been twice in England, I was told that
this was the cheapest route. My asking this brother, to
be profited by his experience, would have been quite right,
had I, besides this, like Ezra, sought of the Lord the right
way. Ezra viii. 21. But I sought unto men only, and not
at all unto the Lord, in this matter. When I came to
Rotterdam, I found that no vessels went at that time from
that port to London, on account of the ice having just
broken up in the river, and that it would be several weeks
before the steamers would again begin to ply. Thus I had
to wait nearly a month at Rotterdam, and, therefore, not
only needed much more time than I should have required
to go by way of Hamburgh, but also much more money,

A.D. 1829.] 43
On March 19th, 1829, I landed in London. I now
found myself, in a great measure, as it regards liberty,
brought back to the years when I was at school; yea,
almost all the time I had been at school, and certainly for
the last four years, previous to my coming to England, I
was not so much bound to time and order as I was in this
seminary; and had not there been a degree of grace in
me, yea, so much as not to regard the liberty of the flesh,
I should now probably have given up all idea of being a
missionary to the Jews. But as I did not see that any-
thing was expected from me which I could not conscienti-
ously accede to, I thought it right to submit myself, for
the Lord’s sake, to all the regulations of the institution.
My brethren, in the seminary, most of them Germans,
had instruction in Hebrew, Latin, Greek, French, German,
&c., scarcely any of them having had a classical education;
I read only Hebrew, and was exempted from all the rest.
I remember how I longed to be able to expound the
Scriptures in English, when I heard a German brother do
so, a few days after my arrival. And I also remember
what joy it gave me, when a few weeks after, for the first
time, I spoke in English to a little boy, whom I met alone
in the fields, about his soul, thinking that he would bear
with my broken English, I now studied much, about
twelve hours a day, chiefly Hebrew; commenced Chaldee ;
perfected myself in reading the German-Jewish in Rab-
binic characters, committed portions of the Hebrew Old
Testament to memory, &c.; and this I did with prayer,
often falling on my knees, leaving my books for a little,
that I might seek the Lord’s blessing, and also, that I
might be kept from that spiritual deadness, which is so
frequently the result of much study. I looked up to the
Lord even whilst turning over the leaves of my Hebrew
dictionary, asking his help, that I might quickly find the
words. I made comparatively little progress in English ;
for living with some of my countrymen, I was continually
led to converse in German.
My experience in this particular leads me to remark,
that, should this fall into the hands of any who are desirous
to labour as missionaries among a people whose language
is not their own, they should seek not merely to live among
them, for the sake of soon learning their language, but
also as much as possible to be separated from those who

44 LA. D. 1829.
speak their own language; for, when, some months after,
I was in Devonshire, completely separated from those who
spoke German, I daily made much progress, whilst I made
comparatively little in London.
Soon after my arrival in England, I heard one of the
brethren in the seminary speak about a Mr. Groves, a
dentist in Exeter, who, for the Lord’s sake, had given up
his profession, which brought him in about fifteen hundred
pounds a year, and who infended to go as a missionary to
Persia, with his wife and children, simply trusting in the
Lord for temporal supplies. This made such an impres-
sion on me, and delighted me so, that I not only marked
it down in my journal, but also wrote about it to my
German friends.
I came to England weak in body, and in consequence
of much study, as I suppose, I was taken ill on May 15,
and was soon, at least in my own estimation, apparently
beyond recovery. The weaker I became in body, the
happier I was in spirit. Never in my whole life had I
seen myself so vile, so guilty, so altogether what I ought
not to have been, as at this time. It was as if every sin,
of which I had been guilty, was brought to my remem-
brance; but at the same time I could realize that all my
sins were completely forgiven—that I was washed and
made clean, completely clean, in the blood of Jesus. The
result of this was great peace. I longed exceedingly to
depart and to be with Christ. When my medical attendant
came to see me, my prayer was something like this: “Lord,
thou knowest that he does not know what is for my real
welfare, therefore do thou direct him.” When I took my
medicine, my hearty prayer each time was something like
this: “Lord, thou knowest that this medicine is in itself
nothing, no more than as if I were to take a little water.
Now please, O Lord, to let it produce the effect which is
for my real welfare, and for thy glory. Let me either be
taken soon to thyself, or let me be soon restored; let me
be ill for a longer time, and then taken to thyself, or let
me be ill for a longer time, and then restored. O Lord,
do with me as seemeth thee best l” One sin in particular
was brought to my mind, which I never had seen before,
viz. that whilst all my life, even in former sicknesses, I
had been blessed with uninterrupted refreshing sleep,
which now, for some nights, had almost entirely fled from
my eyes, I had never heartily thanked God for it.
A. D. 1829.] 45
After I had been ill about a fortnight, my medical
attendant unexpectedly pronounced me better. This, in-
stead of giving me joy, bowed me down, so great was my
desire to be with the Lord; though almost immediately
afterwards grace was given me to submit myself to the
will of God. After some days I was able to leave my
room. Whilst recovering I still continued in a spiritual
state of heart, desiring to depart and to be with Christ.
As I recovered but slowly, my friends entreated me to go
into the country for change of air; but my heart was in
such a happy and spiritual frame, that I did not like the
thought of travelling and seeing places. So far was I
changed, who once had been so passionately fond of travel-
ling. But as my friends continued to advise me to go
into the country, I thought at last that it might be the
will of God that I should do so, and I prayed therefore
thus to the Lord: “Lord, I will gladly submit myself to
thy will, and go, if thou wilt have me to go. And now let
me know thy will by the answer of my medical attendant.
If, in reply to my question, he says it would be very good
for me, I will go; but if he says it is of no great importance,
then I will stay.” When I asked him, he said that it was
the best thing I could do. I was then enabled willingly
to submit, and accordingly went to Teignmouth. . It was
there that I became acquainted with my beloved brother,
friend, and present fellow-labourer, Henry Craik. .
A few days after my arrival at Teignmouth, the chapel,
called Ebenezer, was re-opened,and I attended the opening.
I was much impressed by one of those who preached on
the occasion. For though I did not like all he said, yet I
saw a gravity and solemnity in him different from the rest.
After he had preached, I had a great desire to know more
of him; and being invited by two brethren of Exmouth, in
whose house he was staying, to spend some time with
them, I had an opportunity of living ten days with him
under the same roof. Through the instrumentality of this
brother the Lord bestowed a great blessing upon me, for
which I shall have cause to thank him throughout eternity.
I will mention some points which God then began to
show me.
1. That the word of God alone is our standard of judg-
ment in spiritual things; that it can be explained only by
the Holy Spirit; and that in our day, as well as in former
46 [A. D. 1829.
times, he is the teacher of his people. The office of the
Holy Spirit I had not experimentally understood before
that time. Indeed, of the office of each of the blessed
persons, in what is commonly called the Trinity, I had no
experimental apprehension. I had not before seen from
the Scriptures that the Father chose us before the foun-
dation of the world; that in him that wonderful plan of
our redemption originated, and that he also appointed all
the means by which it was to be brought about. Further,
that the Son, to save us, had fulfilled the law, to satisfy its
demands, and with it also the holiness of God; that he
had borne the punishment due to our sins, and had thus
satisfied the justice of God. And further, that the Holy
Spirit alone can teach us about our state by nature, show
us the need of a Saviour, enable us to believe in Christ,
explain to us the Scriptures, help us in preaching, &c. It
was my beginning to understand this latter point in par-
ticular, which had a great effect on me; for the Lord
enabled me to put it to the test of experience, by laying
aside commentaries, and almost every other book, and
simply reading the word of God and studying it. The
result of this was, that the first evening that I shut myself
into my room to give myself to prayer and meditation over
the Scriptures, I learned more in a few hours than I had
done during a period of several months previously. But
the particular difference was, that I received real strength
..for my soul in doing so. I now began to try by the test of
the Scriptures the things which I had learned and seen,
and found that only those principles which stood the test
were really of value.
2. Before this period I had been much opposed to the
doctrines of election, particular redemption, and final per-
severing grace; so much so that, a few days after my
arrival at Teignmouth, I called election a devilish doc-
trine. I did not believe that I had brought myself to the
Lord, for that was too manifestly false; but yet I held, that
I might have resisted finally. And further, I knew nothing
about the choice of God’s people, and did not believe that
the child of God, when once made so, was safe for ever.
In my fleshly mind I had repeatedly said, if once I could
prove that I am a child of God for ever, I might go back
into the world for a year or two, and then return to the
Lord, and at last be saved. But now I was brought to
A. D. 1829.) 47
examine these precious truths by the word of God. Being
made willing to have no glory of my own in the conversion
of sinners, but to consider myself merely as an instrument;
and being made willing to receive what the Scriptures
said; I went to the word, reading the New Testament
from the beginning, with a particular reference to these
truths. To my great astonishment I found that the pas-
sages which speak decidedly for election and persevering
grace, were about four times as many as those which speak
apparently against these truths; and even those few,
shortly after, when I had examined and understood them,
served to confirm me in the above doctrines. As to the
effect which my belief in these doctrines had on me, I am
constrained to state, for God’s glory, that, though I am
still exceedingly weak, and by no means so dead to the
lusts of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride
of life, as I might and as I ought to be, yet, by the grace
of God, I have walked more closely with him since that
period. My life has not been so variable, and I may say,
that I have lived much more for God than before. And
for this have I been strengthened by the Lord, in a great
measure, through the instrumentality of these truths.
For, in the time of temptation, I have been repeatedly led
to say: Should I thus sin? I should only bring misery
into my soul for a time, and dishonour God; for being a
son of God for ever, I should have to be brought back
again, though it might be in the way of severe chastise-
ment. Thus, I say, the electing love of God in Christ
(when I have been able to realize it) has often been the
means of producing holiness, instead of leading me into sin.
It is only the notional apprehension of such truths, the
want of having them in the heart, whilst they are in the
head, which is dangerous.
3. Another truth, into which, in a measure, I was led
during my stay in Devonshire, respected the Lord's
coming. My views concerning this point, up to that time,
had been completely vague and unscriptural. I had
believed what others told me, without trying it by the
word. I thought that things were getting better and
better, and that soon the whole world would be converted.
But now I found in the word, that we have not the least
Scriptural warrant to look for the conversion of the world
before the return of our Lord. I found in the Scriptures,
48 [A. D. 1829.
that that which will usher in the glory of the church, and
uninterrupted joy to the saints, is the return of the Lord
Jesus, and that, till then, things will be more or less in
confusion. I found in the word, that the return of Jesus,
and not death, was the hope of the apostolic Christians;
and that it became me, therefore, to look for his appear-
ing. And this truth entered so into my heart, that though
I went into Devonshire exceedingly weak, scarcely ex-
pecting that I should return again to London, yet I was
immediately, on seeing this truth, brought off from looking
for death, and was made to look for the return of the
Lord. Having seen this truth, the Lord also graciously
enabled me to apply it, in some measure at least, to my
own heart, and to put the solemn question to myself—
“What may I do for the Lord, before he returns, as he
may soon come P”
4. In addition to these truths, it pleased the Lord to
lead me to see a higher standard of devotedness than I had
seen before. He led me, in a measure, to see what is my
true glory in this world, even to be despised, and to be
poor and mean with Christ. I saw then, in a measure,
though I have seen it more fully since, that it ill becomes
the servant to seek to be rich, and great, and honoured
in that world, where his Lord was poor, and mean, and
despised.
I do not mean to say that all that which I believe at
present concerning these truths, and those which, in con-
nexion with them, the Lord has shown me since August
1829, were apprehended all at once; and much less did I
see them all at once with the same clearness, as, by the
grace of God, I do now; yet my stay in Devonshire was a
most profitable time to my soul. My prayer had been,
before I left London, that the Lord would be pleased to
bless my journey to the benefit of my body and soul. This
prayer was answered in both respects; for in the beginning
of September I returned to London much better in body;
and as to my soul, the change was so great that it was
like a second conversion.
After my return to London, I sought to benefit my
brethren in the seminary, and the means which I used
were these. I proposed to them to meet together every
morning from six to eight for prayer and reading the
Scriptures, and that then each of us should give out what
A. D. 1829.] 49
he might consider the Lord had shown him to be the
meaning of the portion read. One brother in particular
was brought into the same state as myself; and others, I
trust, were more or less benefited. Several times, when
I went to my room after family prayer in the evening, I
found communion with God so sweet that I continued in
prayer till after twelve, and then, being full of joy, went
into the room of the brother just referred to; and finding
him also in a similar frame of heart, we continued praying
until one or two; and even then I was a few times so full
of joy, that I could scarcely sleep, and at six in the morning
again called the brethren together for prayer.
All this moreover did not leave me idle, as it regards
actual engagements in the Lord’s work, as I will now show.
After I had been for about ten days in London, and had
been confined to the house on account of my studies, my
health began again to decline; and I saw that it would not
be well, my poor body being only like a wreck or brand
brought out of the devil’s service, to spend my little
remaining strength in study, but that I now ought to set
about actual engagement in the Lord’s work, particularly
as he had now given me more light about his truth, and
also a heart to serve him. I consequently wrote to the
committee of the Society, requesting them to send me out
at once, as they had now had an opportunity of knowing
me; and that they might do so more comfortably, to send
me as a fellow-labourer with an experienced brother. How-
ever I received no answer.
After having waited about five or six weeks, in the
meantime seeking in one way or other to labour for the
Lord, it struck me that I was wrong and acting unscrip-
turally, in waiting for the appointment to missionary work
from my fellow-men; but that, considering myself called
by the Lord to preach the gospel, I ought to begin at
once to labour among the Jews in London, whether I had
the title of missionary or not. In consequence of this I
distributed tracts among the Jews, with my name and
residence written on them, thus inviting them to conver-
sation about the things of God; preached to them in those
places where they most numerously collect together; read
the Scriptures regularly with about fifty Jewish boys;
and became a teacher in a Sunday school. In this work
I had much enjoyment, and the honour of being reproached
f
IT
50 [A. D. 1829.
f
and ill-treated for the name of Jesus. But the Lord gave
me grace, never to be kept from the work by any danger,
or the prospect of any suffering.
My ſight increased more and more during the months
of September, October, and November. At the end of
November it became a point of solemn consideration with
me, whether I could remain connected with the Society in
the usual way. My chief objections were these: 1. If I
were sent out by the Society, it was more than probable,
yea, almost needful, if I were to leave England, that I
should labour on the Continent, as I was unfit to be sent
to eastern countries on account of my health, which would
probably have suffered, both on account of the climate, and
of my having to learn other languages. Now, if I did go
to the Continent, it was evident, that without ordination
I could not have any extensive field of usefulness, as un-
ordained ministers are generally prevented from labouring
freely there; but I could not conscientiously submit to be
ordained by unconverted men, professing to have power to
set me apart for the ministry, or to communicate some-
thing to me for this work which they do not possess them-
selves. Besides this, I had other objections to being
connected with any state church or national religious
establishment, which arose from the increased light which
I had obtained through the reception of this truth, that

the word of God is our only standard, and the Holy Spirit
our only teacher. For as I now began to compare what I
knew of the establishment in England and those on the
Continent, with this only true standard, the word of God,
I found that all establishments, even because they are
establishments, i. e. the world and the church mixed up
together, not only contain in them the principles which
necessarily must lead to departure from the word of God;
but also, as long as they remain establishments, entirely
preclude the acting throughout according to the Holy
Scriptures.—Then again, If I were to stay in England,
the Society would not allow me to preach in any place
indiscriminately, where the Lord might open a door for me;
and to the ordination of English bishops I had still greater
objections, than to the ordination of a Prussian Consistory.
2. Ifurther had a conscientious objection against beingled
and directed by men in my missionary labours. As a ser-
vant of Christ, it appeared to me, I ought to be guided by
A. D. 1829.] 51
the Spirit, and not by men, as to time and place; and
this I would say, with all deference to others, who may be
much more taught, and much more spiritually minded
than myself. A servant of Christ has but one master.
3. I had love for the Jews, and I had been enabled to give
proofs of it; yet I could not conscientiously say, as the
committee would expect from me, that I would spend the
greater part of my time only among them. For the
scriptural plan seemed to me, that in coming to a place, I
should seek out the Jews, and commence my labour par-
ticularly among them; but that, if they rejected the gospel,
I should go to the nominal christians.—The more I
weighed these points, the more it appeared to me that I
should be acting hypocritically, were I to suffer them to
remain in my mind, without making them known to the
committee.
The question that next occurred to me was, how I ought
to act if not sent out by the Society. With my views I
could not return to Prussia; for Imust either refrain from
preaching, or imprisonment would be the result. The only
plan that presented itself to me was, that I should go from
place to place throughout England, as the Lord might
direct me, and give me opportunity, preaching wherever I
went, both among Jews and nominal Christians. To this
mode of service I was especially stirred up through the
pecently received truth of the Lord’s second coming, having
it impressed upon my heart to seek to warn sinners, and
to stir up the saints; as he might soon come. At the same
time it appeared to me well, that I should do this in con-
nexion with the Society for promoting Christianity among
the Jews, serving them without any salary, provided they
would accept me on these conditions. An objection which
came to my mind against taking any step which might
lead to the dissolution of my connexion with the Society,
namely, that I had been some expense to it, and that thus
I should appear ungrateful, and the money would seem to
have been thrown away, was easily removed in this way:
1. When I engaged with the Society, I did it according
to the light I then had. 2. I have but one Master; his
is the money, and to him I have to give an account. 3.
Though I have nothing to boast of, but much reason to be
ashamed before God on account of my lack of service;
yet, speaking after the manner of men, in some measure I
F 2 -
52 [A. D. 1829.
did work, not only in the Lord's service, but even in that
particular line for which the money had been put into the
hands of the committee.
There remained now only one point more to be settled:
how I should do for the future as it regarded the supply
of my temporal wants, which naturally would have been a
great obstacle, especially as I was not merely a foreigner,
but spoke so little English, that whilst I was greatly
assisted in expounding the Scriptures, it was with diffi-
culty I could converse about common things. On this
point, however, I had no anxiety; for I considered, that
as long as I really sought to serve the Lord, that is, as
long as I sought the kingdom of God and his righteous-
ness, these my temporal supplies would be added to me.
The Lord most mercifully enabled me to take the promises
of his word, and rest upon them, and such as Matthew vii.
7, 8, John xiv. 13, 14, Matthew vi. 25–34, were the stay
of my soul concerning this point. In addition to this, the
example of brother Groves, the dentist before alluded to,
who gave up his profession, and went out as a missionary,
was a great encouragement to me. For the news, which
by this time had arrived, of how the Lord had aided him
on his way to Petersburg, and at Petersburg, strength-
ened my faith.
At last, on December 12, 1829, I came to the conclu-
sion to dissolve my connexion with the Society, if they
would not accept my services under the above conditions,
and to go throughout the country preaching, (being par-
ticularly constrained to do so from a desire to serve the
Lord as much as in me lay, BEFORE HIS RETURN), and to
trust in him for the supply of my temporal wants. Yet
at the same time it appeared well to me to wait a month
longer, and to consider the matter still further before I
wrote to the committee, that I might be sure I had
weighed it fully.
On December 24th I went to the Church Missionary
Institution at Islington, in the hope of benefiting the
students there, if it were the Lord's will. I returned very
happy, as I almost invariably was at that time, and went
to bed full of joy. Next morning, (being that of Christmas
day), I awoke in a very different state of heart from what
I had experienced for many weeks past. I had no enjoy-
ment, and felt cold and lifeless in prayer. At our usual
A. D. 1829.] 53
morning meeting, however, one of the brethren exhorted
me to continue to pray, saying, that the Lord surely would
again smile on me, though now for a season, for wise pur-
oses, he seemed to have withdrawn himself. I did so.
At the Lord's table, in the morning, a measure of enjoy-
ment returned. Afterwards I dined in a family, in company
with the brother just referred to. My former enjoyment
gradually returned. Towards evening the Lord gave me
an opportunity of speaking about his return, and I had
great enjoyment in doing so. At eight o'clock I was asked
to expound at family-prayer, and was much assisted by
the Lord. About half an hour after the exposition was
over, I was requested to come out of the room to see one
of the servants, and the mother of another of the servants,
who had been present at family-prayer. I found them
in tears, and both deeply impressed and under concern
about their souls. I then went home, at least as happy
as on the previous evening. I have related this circum-
stance, because I am aware that it is a common tempta-
tion of Satan to make us give up the reading of the word
and prayer when our enjoyment is gone; as if it were of
no use to read the Scriptures when we do not enjoy them,
and as if it were of no use to pray when we have no spirit
of prayer; whilst the truth is, in order to enjoy the word,
we ought to continue to read it, and the way to obtain a
spirit of prayer is, to continue praying; for the less we
read the word of God, the less we desire to read it, and
the less we pray, the less we desire to pray.
About the beginning of the next year my fellow-students
had a fortnight's vacation, and as with them I had con-
formed myself to the order of the Institution, I felt that
I might also partake of their privileges; not indeed to
please the flesh, but to serve the Lord. On December
30th I therefore left London for Exmouth, where I in-
tended to spend my vacation in the house of my christian
friends, who had kindly lodged me the summer before,
that I might preach there during this fortnight, and still
more fully weigh the matter respecting my proposal to
the Society. I arrived at Exmouth on December 31st,
at six in the evening, an hour before the commencement
of a prayer-meeting at Ebenezer Chapel. , My heart was
burning with a desire to tell of the Lord's goodness to
my soul, and to speak forth what I considered might not
F 3 -
54 [A. D. 1830.
be known to most with whom I met. Being, however,
not called on, either to speak or pray, I was silent. The
next morning I spoke on the difference between being a
christian and a happy christian, and showed, whence it
generally comes, that we rejoice so little in the Lord.
This my first testimony was blessed to many believers,
that God, as it appears, might show me that he was with
me. Among others it proved a blessing to a christian
female, who had been for ten years in bondage, and who,
in the providence of God, had been brought from Exeter
to be present that morning. This she told me many
months after, when I met her on a journey.
At the request of several believers I spoke again in the
afternoon, and also proposed a meeting in the chapel every
morning at ten, to expound the epistle to the Romans.
I had also most days a meeting in a room with several
ladies, for reading the Scriptures with them. This I did
that I might make the best of my fortnight. The second
day after my arrival, a brother said to me: “I have been
praying for this month past that the Lord would do
something for Lympstone, a large parish where there is
little spiritual light. There is a Wesleyan chapel, and
I doubt not you would be allowed to preach there.”
Being ready to speak of Jesus wherever the Lord might
open a door, yet so, that I could be faithful to the truths
which he had been pleased to teach me, I went, and
easily obtained liberty to preach twice on the next day,
being the Lord’s day. Besides this I preached in another
village near Exmouth; so that I spoke once, twice, or
three times in public or private meetings every day for
the first ten or twelve days, and that with great enjoyment
to my own soul.
During the first days of January 1830, whilst at Ex-
mouth, it became more and more clear to me, that I could
not be connected with the Society under the usual con-
ditions; and as I had an abundance of work where I was,
and little money to spend in travelling (for all I possessed
was about five pounds), it appeared best to me to write at
once to the committee, that, whilst they were coming to
a decision respecting me, I might continue to preach. I
therefore wrote to them, stating what had been my views
before I became acquainted with them, and what they
were now. I also stated my difficulty in remaining con-
A.D. 1830.] 55
nected with them on the usual terms, as stated in substance
above; and then concluded, that as, however, I owed them
much, as having been instrumental in bringing me to
England, where the Lord had blessed me so abundantly;
and as I, also, should like to obtain from them the Hebrew
Scriptures and tracts for the Jews: I would gladly serve
them without any salary, if they would allow me to labour
in regard to time and place as the Lord might direct me.
Some time after I received a very kind private letter from
one of the secretaries, who always had been very kind to
me, together with the following official communication
from the committee.
“London Society for promoting Christianity amongst the
Jews. -
“At a Meeting of the Missionary Sub-Committee, held
January 27, 1830, Society House, 10, Wardrobe Place,
Doctors’ Commons, a Letter was read from Mr. G. F.
Müller.
“Resolved, That Mr. Müller be informed, that
while the committee cordially rejoice in any real progress
in knowledge and grace which he may have made under
the teaching of the Holy Spirit, they, nevertheless, con-
sider it inexpedient for any society to employ those who
are unwilling to submit themselves to their guidance with
respect to missionary operations; and that while, there-
fore, Mr. Müller holds his present opinions on that point,
the committee cannot consider him as a missionary stu-
dent ; but should more mature reflection cause him to
alter that opinion, they will readily enter into further
communication with him.”
Thus my connexion with the Society was entirely dis-
solved. Twenty-six years have passed away since, and I
never have, even for one single moment, regretted the
step I took, but have to be sorry that I have been so little
grateful for the Lord’s goodness to me in that matter.
The following part of the Narrative also will prove to the
enlightened reader, how God blessed my acting out the
light he had been pleased to give me. . But I cannot
leave this subject without adding that it is far from my
intention to throw any blame upon the Society. I have
56 [A.D. 1830.
no wish to do so; nay, I confess, were the last-mentioned
circumstances not so intimately connected with my being
in England, I would rather have left out the matter
altogether. But being under the necessity of saying
something about my connexion with it, it appeared best
to me to relate the circumstances just as they were. Yet
I do testify that I have not done it in the least for the
sake of injuring the Society; for I have received much
kindness from some of those connected with it, particu-
larly from two worthy men, then taking a prominent part
in managing its affairs. If I be judged differently, I can
only say, “Judge nothing before the time, until the
Tord come.”
After I had preached about three weeks at Exmouth
and its neighbourhood, I went to Teignmouth, with the
intention of staying there ten days, to preach the word
among the brethren with whom I had become acquainted
during the previous summer, and thus to tell them of the
Lord’s goodness to me. One of the brethren said almost
immediately on my arrival at Teignmouth, I wish you
would become our minister, as the present one is going to
leave us... My answer was, I do not intend to be stationary
in any place, but to go through the country, preaching the
word as the Lord may direct me. In the evening, Mon-
day, I preached for Brother Craik, at Shaldon, in the
presence of three ministers, none of whom liked the
sermon; yet, it pleased God, through it, to bring to the
knowledge of his dear Son a young woman who had been
servant to one of these ministers, and who had heard her
master preach many times. How differently does the
Lord judge from man | Here was a particular opportunity
for the Lord to get glory to himself. A foreigner was
the preacher, with great natural obstacles in the way, for
he was not able to speak English with fluency; but he
had a desire to serve God, and was by this time also
brought into such a state of heart as to desire that God
alone should have the glory, if any good were done through
his instrumentality. How often has it struck me, both
at that time and since, that his strength was made per-
fect in my weakness
On Tuesday evening I preached at Ebenezer Chapel,
Teignmouth, the same chapel, at the opening of which I
became acquainted with the brother, whom the Lord had
A.D. 1830.] 57
afterwards used as an instrument of benefiting me so
much. My preaching was also disliked there by many of
the hearers; but the Lord opened the hearts of a few to
receive the truth, and another young woman was brought
to the Lord through the instrumentality of the word then
preached. On Wednesday I preached again in the same
chapel, and the word was disliked still, perhaps more,
though the few, who received the truth in the love of it,
increased in number. On Thursday I preached again at
Shaldon, and on Friday at Teignmouth. The effect was
the same; dislike on the one side, and joy and delight in
the truth on the other. By this time I began to reflect
about the cause of this opposition; for the same brethren
who had treated me with much kindness the summer pre-
vious, when I was less spiritually minded, and understood
much less of the truth, now seemed to oppose me, and I
could not explain it in any other way than this, that the
Lord intended to work through my instrumentality at
Teignmouth, and that therefore Satan, fearing this, sought
to raise opposition against me.
On the Lord’s day I dined with a brother, whose heart
the Lord had opened to receive me as a servant of Christ.
After dinner Italked to a young woman, his servant, at
the request of her sister, who on the Tuesday previous had
been convinced of sin, and on the Friday brought to enjoy
peace in the Lord. This young woman also was, through
the instrumentality of this conversation, brought to see
her sinful state, though she could not rejoice in the Lord
until about seven months after. How differently the
Lord dealt with her sister, and yet the work of grace was
as real in the one as in the other, as I had full opportunity
of seeing afterwards ! On this same Lord's day I preached
twice at Teignmouth, and once at Shaldon; for so precious
did every opportunity seem to me, and so powerfully did
I feel the importance of those precious truths, which I
had so recently been led to see, that I longed to be
instrumental in communicating them to others.
By this time the request, that I might stay at Teign-
mouth, and be the minister of the above chapel, had been
repeatedly expressed by an increasing number of the
brethren; but others were decidedly against my remain-
ing there. This opposition was instrumental in settling
it in my mind that I should stay for awhile, at least until
58 [A.D. 1830.
I was formally rejected. In consequence of this conclu-
sion I took the following step, which, it may be, I should
not repeat under similar circumstances, but which was
certainly taken in love to those who were concerned in
the matter, and for the glory of God, as far as I then
had light.
On the Tuesday following, after preaching, I told the
brethren how, in the providence of God, I had been
brought to them without the least intention of staying
among them, but that, on finding them without a minister,
I had been led to see it to be the will of God to remain
with them. I also told them, as far as I remember, that
I was aware of the opposition of some, but that I never-
theless intended to preach to them till they rejected me;
and if they should say, I might preach, but they would give
me no salary, that would make no difference on my part,
as I did not preach for the sake of money; but I told
them at the same time, that it was an honour, to be
allowed to supply the temporal wants of any of the ser-
vants of Christ. The latter point I added, as it seemed
right to me, to give out the whole counsel of God, as far
as I knew it. On the next day, Wednesday, I left, and
having preached in two or three places near Exmouth,
and taken leave of my friends there, I returned to
Teignmouth.
Here I preached again three times on the Lord's day,
none saying we wish you not to preach, though many of
the hearers did not hear with enjoyment. Some of them
left, and never returned ; some left, but returned after
awhile. Others came to the chapel, who had not been in
the habit of attending there previous to my coming. There
was sufficient proof that the work of God was going on,
for there were those who were glad to hear what I
preached, overlooking the infirmities of the foreigner,
delighting in the food for their souls, without caring much
about the form in which the truth was set before them;
and these were not less spiritual than the rest; and there
were those who objected decidedly, some, however, mani-
festing merely the weakness of brethren, and others the
bitterness of the opposers of the cross. There was in
addition to this, a great stir, a spirit of inquiry, and a
searching of the Scriptures, whether these things were so.
And what is more than all, God set his seal upon the
A.D. 1830.] 59
work, in converting sinners. Twelve weeks I stood in
this same position, whilst the Lord graciously supplied my
temporal wants, through two brethren, unasked for. After
this time, the whole little church, eighteen in number,
unanimously gave me an invitation to become their pastor.
My answer to them was, that their invitation did not show
me more than I had seen before, that it was the will of
God that I should remain with them, yet that for their
sakes I could not but rejoice in this invitation, as it was
a proof to me that God had blessed them through my in-
strumentality, in making them thus of one mind. I also
expressly stated to the brethren, that I should only stay
so long with them, as I saw it clearly to be the will of the
Tord; for I had not given up my intention of going from
place to place, if the Lord would allow me to do so. The
brethren, at the same time, now offered to supply my tem-
poral wants, by giving me £55. a year, which sum was
afterwards somewhat increased, on account of the increase
of the church.
I now had Teignmouth for my residence, but I did not
confine my labours to this place; for I preached regularly
once a week in Exeter, once a fortnight at Topsham,
sometimes at Shaldon, often at Exmouth, sometimes in
the above-mentioned villages near Exmouth, regularly
once a week at Bishopsteignton, where a part of the church
lived, and afterwards repeatedly at Chudleigh, Collump-
ton, Newton Bushel, and elsewhere.
That which I now considered the best mode of prepa-
ration for the public ministry of the word, no longer
adopted from necessity, on account of want of time, but
from deep conviction, and from the experience of God’s
blessing upon it, both as it regards my own enjoyment,
the benefit of the saints, and the conversion of sinners, is
as follows:–1. I do not presume to know myself what is
best for the hearers, and I therefore ask the Lord in the
first place, that he would graciously be pleased to teach
me on what subject I shall speak, or what portion of his
word I shall expound. Now sometimes it happens, that
previous to my asking him, a subject or passage has been
in my mind, on which it has appeared well for me to speak.
In that case I ask the Lord, whether I should speak on
this subject or passage. If, after prayer, I feel persuaded
that I should, I fix upon it, yet so, that I would desire to
(30 [A.D. 1830,

leave myself open to the Lord to change it, if he please.
Frequently, however, it occurs, that I have no text or
subject in my mind, before I give myself to prayer for the
sake of ascertaining the Lord’s will concerning it. In
this case I wait some time on my knees for an answer,
trying to listen to the voice of the Spirit to direct me. If
then a passage or subject, whilst I am on my knees, or
after I have finished praying for a text, is brought to my
mind, I again ask the Lord, and that sometimes repeatedly,
especially if, humanly speaking, the subject or text should
be a peculiar one, whether it be his will that I should
speak on such a subject or passage. If after prayer my
mind is peaceful about it, I take this to be the text, but
still desire to leave myself open to the Lord for direction,
should he please to alter it, or should I have been mis-
taken. Frequently also, in the third place, it happens,
that I not only have no text nor subject on my mind pre-
vious to my praying for guidance in this matter, but also
I do not obtain one after once, or twice, or more times
praying about it. I used formerly at times to be much
perplexed, when this was the case, but for more than
twenty years it has pleased the Lord, in general at least,
to keep me in peace about it. What I do is, to go on
with my regular reading of the Scriptures, where I left
off the last time, praying (whilst I read) for a text, now
and then also laying aside my bible for prayer, till I get
one. Thus it has happened, that I have had to read five,
ten, yea twenty chapters, before it has pleased the Lord
to give me a text; yea, many times I have even had to go
to the place of meeting without one, and obtained it per-
haps only a few minutes before I was going to speak; but
I have never lacked the Lord’s assistance at the time of
preaching, provided I had earnestly sought it in private.
The preacher cannot know the particular state of the
various individuals who compose the congregation, nor
what they require, but the Lord knows it ; and if the
preacher renounces his own wisdom, he will be assisted
by the Lord ; but if he will choose in his own wisdom,
then let him not be surprised if he should see little benefit
result from his labours.
Before I leave this part of the subject, I would just
observe one temptation concerning the choice of a text.
We may see a subject to be so very full, that it may strike
A.D. 1830.] 61
us it would do for some other occasion. For instance,
sometimes a text brought to one’s mind for a week-evening
meeting, may appear more suitable for the Lord’s day,
because then there would be a greater number of hearers
present. Now, in the first place, we do not know whether
the Lord ever will allow us to preach on another Lord’s
day; and, in the second place, we know not whether that
very subject may not be especially suitable for some or
many individuals present just that week-evening. Thus
I was once tempted, after I had been a short time at
Teignmouth, to reserve a subject, which had been just
opened to me, for the next Lord's day. But being able,
by the grace of God, to overcome the temptation by the
above reasons, and preaching about it at once, it pleased
the Lord to bless it to the conversion of a sinner, and
that too an individual who meant to come but that once
more to the chapel, and to whose case the subject was
most remarkably suited.
2. Now when the text has been obtained in the above
way, whether it be one or two or more verses, or a whole
chapter or more, I ask the Lord that he would graciously
be pleased to teach me by his Holy Spirit, whilst medi-
tating over it. Within the last twenty-five years, I have
found it the most profitable plan to meditate with my pen
in my hand, writing down the outlines, as the word is
opened to me. This I do, not for the sake of committing
them to memory, nor as if I meant to say nothing else,
but for the sake of clearness, as being a help to see how
far I understand the passage. I also find it useful after-
wards to refer to what I have thus written. I very
seldom use any other help besides the little I understand
of the original of the Scriptures, and some good trans-
lations in other languages. My chief help is prayer. I
have NEVER in my life begun to study one single part of
divine truth, without gaining some light about it, when I
have been able really to give myself to prayer and medi-
tation over it. But that I have often found a difficult
matter, partly on account of the weakness of the flesh, and
partly also on account of bodily infirmities and multiplicity
of engagements. This I most firmly believe, that no one
ought to expect to see much good resulting from his
labours in word and doctrine, if he is not much given to
prayer and meditation.
G.
62 [A.D. 1830.
3. Having prayed and meditated on the subject or text,
I desire to leave myself entirely in the hands of the Lord.
I ask him to bring to my mind what I have seen in my
closet, concerning the subject I am going to speak on,
which he generally most kindly does, and often teaches
me much additionally, whilst I am preaching.
In connexion with the above, I must, however, state
that it appears to me there is a preparation for the public
ministry of the word, which is even more excellent than
the one spoken of. It is this: to live in such constant
and real communion with the Lord, and to be so habitually
and frequently in meditation over the truth, that without
the above effort, so to speak, we have obtained food for
others, and know the mind of the Lord as to the subject
or the portion of the word on which we should speak.
But this I have only in a small measure experienced,
though I desire to be brought into such a state, that
habitually “out of my belly may flow rivers of living
Water.”
That which I have found most beneficial in my expe-
rience for the last twenty-six years in the public ministry
of the word, is, eaſpounding the Scriptures, and especially
the going now and then through a whole gospel or epistle.
This may be done in a two-fold way, either by entering
minutely into the bearing of every point occurring in the
portion, or by giving the general outlines, and thus leading
the hearers to see the meaning and connexion of the whole.
The benefits which I have seen resulting from eaſpounding
the Scriptures are these: 1. The hearers are thus, with
God’s blessing, led to the Scriptures. They find, as it
were, a practical use of them in the public meetings.
This induces them to bring their bibles, and I have ob-
served that those who at first did not bring them, have
afterwards been induced to do so; so that in a short time
few, of the believers at least, were in the habit of coming
without them. This is no small matter; for every thing
which in our day will lead believers to value the Scrip-
tures, is of importance. 2. The expounding of the Scrip-
tures is in general more beneficial to the hearers than if,
on a single verse, or half a verse, or two or three words of
a verse, some remarks are made, so that the portion of
Scripture is scarcely any thing but a motto for the sub-
ject; for few have grace to meditate much over the word,
A.D. 1830.] G3
and thus exposition may not merely be the means of
opening to them the Scriptures, but may also create in
them a desire to meditate for themselves. 3. The ex-
pounding of the Scriptures leaves to the hearers a con-
necting link, so that the reading over again the portion of
the word which has been expounded, brings to their
remembrance what has been said, and thus, with God’s
blessing, leaves a more lasting impression on their minds.
This is particularly of importance as it regards the illi-
terate, who sometimes have neither much strength of
memory nor capacity of comprehension. 4. The ea:-
pounding of large portions of the word, as the whole of a
gospel or an epistle, besides leading the hearer to see the
connexion of the whole, has also this particular benefit for
the teacher, that it leads him, with God’s blessing, to the
consideration of portions of the word, which otherwise he
might not have considered, and keeps him from speaking
too much on favourite subjects, and leaning too much to
particular parts of truth, which tendency must surely
sooner or later injure both himself and his hearers.-
Expounding the word of God brings little honour to the
preacher from the unenlightened or careless hearer, but it
tends much to the benefit of the hearers in general.
Simplicity in expression, whilst the truth is set forth, is,
in connexion with what has been said, of the utmost im-
portance. It should be the aim of the teacher to speak so,
that children, servants, and people who cannot read, may
be able to understand him, so far as the natural mind can
comprehend the things of God. It ought also to be
remembered, that there is, perhaps, not a single congre-
gation in which there are not persons of the above classes
present, and that if they can understand, the well-educated
or literary persons will understand likewise; but the
reverse does not hold good. It ought further to be re-
membered, that the expounder of the truth of God speaks
for God, for eternity, and that it is not in the least likely
that he will benefit the hearers, except he use plainness of
speech, which nevertheless needs not to be vulgar or rude.
It should also be considered, that if the preacher strive to
speak according to the rules of this world, he may please
many, particularly those who have a literary taste; but,
in the same proportion, he is less likely to become an
instrument in the hands of God for the conversion of
G 2
64 [A.D. 1830.
sinners, or for the building-up of the saints. For neither
eloquence nor depth of thought makes the truly great
preacher, but such a life of prayer and meditation and
spirituality, as may render him a vessel meet for the
master's use, and fit to be employed both in the conversion
of sinners and in the edification of the saints.
About the beginning of April I went to preach at Sid-
mouth. While I was staying there, three sisters in the
Ilord had, in my presence, a conversation about baptism,
one of whom had been baptized after she had believed.
When they had conversed a little on the subject, I was
asked to give my opinion concerning it. My reply was,
“I do not think that I need to be baptized again.” I
was then asked by the sister who had been baptized,
“But have you been baptized?” I answered, “Yes,
when I was a child.” She then replied, “Have you ever
read the Scriptures, and prayed with reference to this
subject?” I answered, “No.” “Then,” she said, “I
entreat you, never to speak any more about it till you
have done so.” It pleased the Lord to show me the
importance of this remark; for whilst at that very time I
was exhorting every one to receive nothing which could
not be proved by the word of God, I had repeatedly
spoken against believers' baptism, without having ever
earnestly examined the Scriptures, or prayed concerning
it; and now I determined, if God would help me, to
examine that subject also, and if infant baptism were
found to be scriptural, I would earnestly defend it; and
if believers’ baptism were right, I would as strenuously
defend that, and be baptized.
As soon as I had time, I set about examining the sub-
ject. The mode I adopted was as follows: Repeatedly I
asked God to teach me concerning it, and I read the New
Testament from the beginning, with a particular reference
to this point. But now, when I earnestly set about the
matter, a number of objections presented themselves to
my mind.
1. Since many holy and enlightened men have been
divided in opinion concerning this point, does this not
prove, that it is not to be expected we should come to a
satisfactory conclusion about this question in the present
imperfect state of the church 2—This objection was thus
removed: If this ordinance is revealed in the Bible, why
A.D. 1830.] 65
may I not know it, as the Holy Spirit is the teacher in
the church of Christ now as well as formerly. 2. There
have been but few of my friends baptized, and the greater
part of them are opposed to believers' baptism, and they
will turn their backs on me. Answer: Though all men
should forsake me, if the Lord Jesus takes me up, I shall
be happy, 3. You will be sure to lose one half of your
income, if you are baptized. Answer: As long as I desire
to be faithful to the Lord, he will not suffer me to want.
4. People will call you a baptist, and you will be reckoned
among that body, and you cannot approve of all that is
going on among them. Answer: It does not follow that
I must in all points go along with all those who hold
believers' baptism, although I should be baptized. 5. You
have been preaching for some years, and you will have
thus publicly to confess, that you have been in an error,
should you be led to see that believers’ baptism is right.
Answer: It is much better to confess that I have been
in error concerning that point than to continue in it.
6. Even if believers’ baptism should be right, yet it is now
too late to attend to it, as you ought to have been baptized
immediately on believing. Answer: It is better to fulfil
a commandment of the Lord Jesus ever so late, than to
continue living in the neglect of it.
It had pleased God, in his abundant mercy, to bring
my mind into such a state, that I was willing to carry out
into my life whatever I should find in the Scriptures con-
cerning this ordinance, either the one way or the other.
I could say, “I will do his will,” and it was on that
account, I believe, that I soon saw which “doctrine is of
God,” whether infant baptism or believers’ baptism. And
I would observe here, by the way, that the passage to
which I have just now alluded, John vii. 17, has been a
most remarkable comment to me on many doctrines and
precepts of our most holy faith. For instance: “ Besist
*ot evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek,
turn to him the other also. And if any man will sue thee
at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak
also. And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go
with him twain. Give to him that asketh thee, and from
him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away. Love
Ayour enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them
that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you,
G 3
66 [A.D. 1830.
and persecute you.” Matthew v. 39–44. “Sell that ye
have, and give alms.” Luke xii. 33. “Owe no man any
thing, but to love one another.” Rom. xiii. 8. It may be
said, surely these passages cannot be taken literally, for
how then would the people of God be able to pass through
the world. The state of mind enjoined in John vii. 17
will cause such objections to vanish. WHosoever Is
will.ING TO ACT OUT these commandments of the Lord
LITERALLY will, I believe, be led with me to see that, to
take them LITERALLY, is the will of God.—Those who do
so take them will doubtless often be brought into diffi-
culties, hard to the flesh to bear, but these will have a
tendency to make them constantly feel that they are
strangers and pilgrims here, that this world is not their
home, and thus to throw them more upon God, who will
assuredly help us through any difficulty into which we
may be brought by seeking to act in obedience to his
word.
As soon as I was brought into this state of heart, I saw
from the Scriptures that believers ONLY are the proper
subjects for baptism, and that immersion is the only true
Scriptural mode, in which it ought to be attended to. The
passage which particularly convinced me of the former, is
Acts viii. 36–38, and of the latter, Rom. vi. 3—5. Some
time after, I was baptized. I had much peace in doing
so, and never have I for one single moment regretted it.—
Before I leave this point, I would just say a few words
concerning the result of this matter, so far as it regards
some of the objections which occurred to my mind when
I was about to examine the Scriptures concerning baptism.
1. Concerning the first objection, my conviction now is,
that of all revealed truths not one is more clearly revealed
in the Scriptures, not even the doctrine of justification by
faith, and that the subject has only become obscured, by
men not having been willing to take the Scriptures alone
to decide the point. 2. Not one of my true friends in
the Lord has turned his back on me, as I supposed, and
almost all of them have been themselves baptized since.
3. Though in one way I lost money in consequence of
being baptized, yet the Lord did not suffer me to be really
a loser, even as it regards temporal things; for he made
up the loss most bountifully. In conclusion, my example
has been the means of leading many to examine the ques-
A.D. 1830.] 67
tion of baptism, and to submit, from conviction, to this
ordinance; and seeing this truth I have been led to speak
on it as well as on other truths; and during the twenty-
three years that I have now resided in Bristol, more than
a thousand believers have been baptized among us.
In June of this year (1830) I went to preach at the
opening of a chapel in a village near Barnstaple, built by
that blessed man of God, Thomas Pugsley, now with the
Lord. It pleased God to bring two souls to himself through
this my visit, and one more was converted on another
visit. So graciously did the Lord condescend to use me,
that almost every where he blessed the word which I
preached, thereby testifying that he had sent me, and
thereby also getting glory to himself in using such an in-
strument. It was so usual for me to preach with parti-
cular assistance, especially during the first months of this
year, that once, when it was otherwise, it was much no-
ticed by myself and others. The circumstance was this.
One day, before preaching at Teignmouth, I had more
time than usual, and therefore prayed and meditated about
six hours, in preparation for the evening meeting, and I
thought I saw many precious truths in the passage on
which I had meditated. It was the first part of the first
chapter of the epistle to the Ephesians. After I had
spoken a little time, I felt that I spoke in my own strength,
and I, being a foreigner, felt particularly the want of
words, which had not been the case before. I told the
brethren, that I felt I was left to myself, and asked their
prayers. But after having continued a little longer, and
feeling the same as before, I closed, and proposed that we
should have a meeting for prayer, that the Lord still
might be pleased to help me. We did so, and I was par-
ticularly assisted the next time.
During this summer also it appeared to me scriptural,
according to the example of the Apostles, Acts xx. 7, to
break bread every Lord's day, though there is no com-
mandment given to do so, either by the Lord, or by the
Holy Ghost through the Apostles. And at the same time
it appeared to me scriptural, according to Eph. iv., Rom.
xii., &c., that there should be given room for the Holy
Ghost to work through any of the brethren whom he
pleases to use; that thus one member might benefit the
other with the gift which the Lord has bestowed upon
68 [A.D. 1830.
him. Accordingly at certain meetings any of the brethren
had an opportunity to exhort or teach the rest, if they
considered that they had any thing to say which might be
beneficial to the hearers.--T observe here, that, as the
Lord gave me grace to endeavour at once to carry out the
light which he had been pleased to give me on this point,
and as the truth was but in part apprehended, there was
much infirmity mixed with the manner of carrying it out.
Nor was it until several years after that the Lord was
pleased to teach me about this point more perfectly. That
the disciples of Jesus should meet together, on the first
day of the week, for the breaking of bread, and that that
should be their principal meeting, and that those, whether
one or several, who are truly gifted by the Holy Spirit for
service, be it for exhortation, or teaching, or rule, &c., are
responsible to the Lord for the exercise of their gifts:
these are to me no matters of uncertainty, but points on
which my soul, by grace, is established, through the re-
vealed will of God.
On October 7th, 1830, I was united by marriage to Miss
Mary Groves, sister of the brother whose name has already
been mentioned. This step was taken after prayer and
deliberation, from a full conviction that it was better for
me to be married; and I have never regretted since, either
the step itself or the choice, but desire to be truly grate-
ful to God for having given me such a wife.
About this time I began to have conscientious objec-
tions against any longer receiving a stated salary. My
reasons against it were these :—
1. The salary was made up by pew-rents; but pew-rents
are, according to James ii. 1–6, against the mind of the
Lord, as, in general, the poor brother cannot have so good
a seat as the rich. (All pew-rents were therefore given
up, and all the seats made free, which was stated at the
entrance of the chapel.) 2. A brother may gladly do
something towards my support if left to his own time;
but when the quarter is up, he has perhaps other expenses,
and I do not know, whether he pays his money grudg-
ingly, and of necessity, or cheerfully; but God loveth a
cheerful giver. Nay, I knew it to be a fact, that some-
times it had not been convenient to individuals to pay the
money, when it had been asked for by the brethren who
collected it. 3. Though the Lord had been pleased to
A.D. 1830.] Čí)
give me grace to be faithful, so that I had been enabled
not to keep back the truth, when he had shown it to me :
still I felt that the pew-rents were a snare to the servant
of Christ. It was a temptation to me, at least for a few
minutes, at the time when the Lord had stirred me up to
pray and search the word respecting the ordinance of
baptism, because £30. of my salary was at stake, if I
should be baptized.
For these reasons I stated to the brethren, at the end
of October 1830, that I should for the future give up hav-
ing any regular salary. After I had given my reasons for
doing so, I read Philippians iv., and told the saints, that
if they still had a desire to do something towards my sup-
port, by voluntary gifts, I had no objection to receive
them, though ever so small, either in money or provisions.
A few days after it appeared to me, that there was a better
way still ; for if I received personally every single gift,
offered in money, both my own time and that of the do-
nors would be much taken up; and in this way also the
poor might, through temptation, be kept from offering
their pence, a privilege of which they ought not to be
deprived; and some also might in this way give more
than if it were not known who was the giver; so that it
would still be doubtful whether the gift were given grudg-
ingly or cheerfully. For these reasons especially, there
was a box put up in the chapel, over which was written,
that whoever had a desire to do something towards my
support, might put his offering into the box.
At the same time it appeared to me right, that hence-
forth I should ask no man, not even my beloved brethren
and sisters, to help me, as I had done a few times accord-
ing to their own request, as my expenses, on account of
travelling much in the Lord’s service, were too great to
be met by my usual income. For unconsciously I had
thus again been led, in some measure, to trust in an arm
of flesh, going to man, instead of going to the Lord at
once. To come to this conclusion before God required
7more grace than to give up my salary.
About the same time also my wife and I had grace given
to us, to take the Lord's commandment, “Sell that ye
have, and give alms,” Luke xii. 33, literally, and to carry
it out. Our staff and support in this matter were Mat-
thew vi. 19–34, John xiv. 18, 14. We leaned on the arm
70 [A.D. 1830.
of the Lord Jesus. It is now twenty-five years, since we
set out in this way, and we do not in the least regret the
step we then took. Our God also has, in his tender mercy,
given us grace to abide in the same mind concerning the
above points, both as it regards principle and practice ;
and this has been the means of letting us see the tender
love and care of our God over his children, even in the
most minute things, in a way in which we never experi-
mentally knew them before ; and it has, in particular,
made the Lord known to us more fully than we knew
him before, as a prayer hearing God. As I have written
down how the Lord has been pleased to deal with us
since, I shall be able to relate some facts concerning this
matter, as far as they may tend to edification.
JEa:tracts from my Journal.
Nov. 18th, 1830.-Our money was reduced to about
eight shillings. When I was praying with my wife in
the morning, the Lord brought to my mind the state of
our purse, and I was led to ask him for some money.
About four hours after, we were with a sister* at Bishop-
steignton, and she said to me, “Do you want any money P’’
“I told the brethren,” said I, “dear sister, when I gave
up my salary, that I would for the future tell the Lord
only about my wants.” She replied, “But he has told
me to give you some money. About a fortnight ago I
asked him, what I should do for him, and he told me to
give you some money; and last Saturday it came again
powerfully to my mind, and has not left me since, and I
felt it so forcibly last night, that I could not help speak-
ing of it to Brother P.” My heart rejoiced, seeing the
Lord’s faithfulness, but I thought it better not to tell her
about our circumstances, lest she should be influenced to
give accordingly ; and I also was assured, that, if it were
of the Lord, she could not but give. I therefore turned
the conversation to other subjects, but when I left she
gave me two guineas. We were full of joy on account of
the goodness of the Lord.—I would call upon the reader
to admire the gentleness of the Lord, that he did not try
* My Journal gives the names of the individuals, whom the Lord has
used as instruments, in supplying our wants ; but it has appeared well
to me, for several reasons, not to mention them in print.
A.D. 1830.] 71
our faith much at the commencement, but gave us first
encouragement, and allowed us to see his willingness to
help us, before he was pleased to try it more fully.
The next Wednesday I went to Exmouth, our money
having then again been reduced to about nine shillings. I
asked the Lord on Thursday, when at Exmouth, to be
pleased to give me some money. On Friday morning,
about eight o'clock, whilst in prayer, I was particularly
led to ask again for money; and before I rose from my
knees I had the fullest assurance, that we should have
the answer that very day. About nine o'clock I left the
brother with whom I was staying, and he gave me half a
sovereign, saying, “Take this for the expenses connected
with your coming to us.” I did not expect to have my
expenses paid, but I saw the Lord's fatherly hand in
sending me this money within one hour after my asking
him for some. But even then I was so fully assured that
the Lord would send more that very day, or had done so
already, that, when I came home about twelve o’clock, I
asked my wife whether she had received any letters. She
told me she had received one the day before from a bro-
ther in Exeter, with three sovereigns. Thus even my
prayer on the preceding day had been answered. The
next day one of the brethren came and brought me $4.,
which was due to me of my former salary, but which I
could never have expected, as I did not even know that
this sum was due to me. Thus I received, within thirty
hours, in answer to prayer, É7. 10s.
In the commencement of December I went to Collump-
ton, where I preached several times, and likewise in a
neighbouring village. In driving home from the village
late at night, our driver lost his way; as soon as we found
out our mistake, as we were then near a house, it struck
me that the hand of God was in this matter; and having
awakened the people of the house, I offered a man some-
thing if he would be kind enough to bring us into the
right road. I now walked with the man before the gig,
and conversed with him about the things of God, and
soon found out that he was an awful backslider. May God,
in mercy, bless the word spoken to him, and may we learn
from this circumstance, that we have to ask on such occa-
sions, why the Lord has allowed such and such things to
happentous.-Since the publication of thefirst edition,one
72 [A.D. 1831.
day, about eight years afterthis circumstance had happened,
the individual who drove me that night introduced him-
self to me as a brother, and told me that on that evening
he received his first impressions under the preaching of
the word. The missing of the right road may have been
connected with his state of mind. May I and my fellow-
labourers in the Gospel be encouraged by this, patiently
to continue to sow the seed, though only after eight years
or more we should see the fruit of it. I only add, that
up to that time, the individual had been a very dissipated
young man, who caused his believing parents very much
grief. Their love led them to convey me and my wife to
this village and back again, and truly the Lord gave them
a reward in doing so.
Between Christmas and the new year, when our money
was reduced to a few shillings, I asked the Lord for more;
when a few hours after there was given to us a sovereign
by a brother from Axminster. This brother had heard
much against me, and was at last determined to hear for
himself, and thus came to Teignmouth, a distance of forty
miles; and having heard about our manner of living, gave
us this money.
With this closes the year 1830. Throughout it the
Lord richly supplied all my temporal wants, though at the
commencement of it. I had no certain human prospect for
one single shilling: so that, even as it regards temporal
things, I had not been in the smallest degree a loser in
acting according to the dictates of my conscience; and as
it regards spiritual things, the Lord had indeed dealt
bountifully with me, and led me on in many respects, and,
moreover, had condescended to use me as an instrument
in doing his work.
On January 6th, 7th, and 8th, 1831, I had repeatedly
asked the Tord for money, but received none. On the
evening of January 8th I left my room for a few minutes,
and was then tempted to distrust the Lord, though he had
been so gracious to us, in that he not only up to that day
had supplied all our wants, but had given us also those
answers of prayer, which have been in part just mentioned.
I was so sinful, for about five minutes, as to think it would
be of no use to trust in the Lord in this way. I also be-
gan to say to myself, that I had perhaps gone too far in
living in this way. But, thanks to the Lord! this trial
A.D. 1831.] 73
lasted but a few minutes. He enabled me again to trust
in him, and Satan was immediately confounded; for when
I returned to my room (out of which I had not been ab-
sent ten minutes), the Lord had sent deliverance. A
sister in the Lord who resided at Exeter, had come to
Teignmouth, and brought us £2.4s. ; so the Lord tri-
umphed, and our faith was strengthened.
Jan. 10. To-day, when we had again but a few shil-
lings, £5. was given to us, which had been taken out of
the box. I had, once for all, told the brethren, who had
the care of these temporal things, to have the kindness to
let me have the money every week; but as these beloved
brethren either forgot to take it out weekly, or were
ashamed to bring it in such small sums, it was generally
taken out every three, four, or five weeks. As I had
stated to them, however, from the commencement, that I
desired to look neither to man nor the box, but to
the living God, I thought it not right on my part, to re-
mind them of my request to have the money weekly, lest
it should hinder the testimony which I wished to give, of
trusting in the living God alone. It was on this account
that on January 28th, when we had again but little
money, though I had seen the brethren on January the
24th open the box and take out the money, I would not
ask the brother, in whose hands it was, to let me have it;
but, standing in need of it, as our coals were almost gone,
I asked the Lord to incline his heart to bring it, and but a
little time afterwards it was given to us, even £1.8s. 6d.
I would here mention, that since the time I began
living in this way, I have been kept from speaking, either
directly or indirectly, about my wants, at the time I
was in need. The only exception is, that in a few in-
stances, twenty years or more since, I have at such times
spoken to very poor brethren, in the way of encouraging
them, to trust in the Lord, telling them, that I had to do
the same, being myself in similar straits; or in a few in-
stances, where it was needful to speak about my own
want, lest I should appear unfeeling, in that I did not
help at all, in cases of distress, or not as much as might
have been expected. But whilst I have refrained, and do
still habitually refrain, from speaking to my fellow crea-
tures about my wants at the time, I desire to speak well
of the Lord's goodness, after he has delivered me; not
EI
74 [A. D. 1831.
only in order that he thus may get glory, but also that
the children of God may be encouraged to trust in him.
On February 14th we had again very little money, and,
whilst praying, I was led to ask the Lord, graciously to
supply our wants; and the instant that I got up from my
Knees, a brother gave me £1., which had been taken out
of the box.
On March 7th I was again tempted to disbelieve the
faithfulness of the Ilord, and though I was not miserable,
still I was not so fully resting upon the Lord, that I could
triumph with joy. It was but one hour after, when the
Lord gave me another proof of his faithful love. A
christian lady at Teignmouth had been from home for
some time, and on her return she brought from the
sisters in the Lord, with whom she had been staying, five
sovereigns for us, with these words written in the paper;
—“I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat; I was
thirsty, and ye gave me drink. Lord, when saw we thee
an hungered, and fed thee 2 or thirsty, and gave thee
drink P. The King shall answer and say unto them,
Verily, verily, I say unto you, inasmuch as ye have done
it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done
it unto me.”
On March 16th I went to Axminster, and preached in
several places in that neighbourhood, besides holding a
meeting at Axminster. Whilst staying there, I was re-
quested to preach at Chard; but as I had never been
away from Teignmouth on the Lord’s day, I had to pray
much, before I came to the conclusion to comply with
the request. At last I had the fullest assurance that I
ought to preach at Chard. I have since heard that the
Lord used me in edifying the brethren, and through a
general exhortation to all, to read the Scriptures with
earnestness, a woman was stirred up to do so, and this
was the means of her conversion. As to myself, I had a
most refreshing season. I mention this circumstance to
show how important it is to ascertain the will of God,
before we undertake any thing, because we are then not
only blessed in our own souls, but also the work of our
hands will prosper.—One of the brethren at Chard forced
a sovereign upon me, against the acceptance of which I
strove much, lest it should appear as if I had preached for
money. Another would give me a paper with money. I
A.D. 1831.] 75
refused it for the same reason. At last he put it by force
into my pocket, and ran away. The paper contained
11s. 6d.
April 16th. This morning I found that our money was
reduced to 3s., and I said to myself, I must now go and
ask the Lord earnestly for fresh supplies. But before I
had prayed, there was sent from Exeter £ 2., as a proof
that the Lord hears before we call.
I would observe here, by the way, that if any of the
children of God should think that such a mode of living
leads away from the Lord, and from caring about spiritual
things, and has the effect of causing the mind to be taken
up with the question, What shall I eat?—-What shall I
drink P-and Wherewithal shall I be clothed P and that
on that account it would be much better to have a stated
salary, particularly for one who labours in the word and
doctrine, in order that he may be above these cares; I
say, should any believer think so, I would request him
prayerfully to consider the following remarks:–1.
have had experience of both ways, and know that my
present mode of living, as to temporal things, is connected
with less care. 2. Confidence in the Lord, to whom alone
I look for the supply of my temporal wants, keeps me, at
least whilst faith is in exercise, when a case of distress
comes before me, or when the Lord’s work calls for my
pecuniary aid, from anxious reckoning like this: Will
my salary last out P Shall I have enough myself the next
month P &c. In this my freedom, I am, by the grace of
God, generally at least, able to say to myself something
like this:—My Lord is not limited; he can again supply;
he knows that this present case has been sent to me: and
thus, this way of living, so far from-leading to anariety,
as it regards possible future want, is rather the means of
Keeping from it. And truly it was once said to me by an
individual,—you can do such and such things, and need
not to lay by, for the church in the whole of Devonshire
cares about your wants. My reply was: The Lord can
use not merely any of the saints throughout Devonshire,
but those throughout the world, as instruments to supply
my temporal wants. 3. This way of living has often been
the means of reviving the work of grace in my heart,
when I have been getting cold; and it also has been the
H 2
76 [A.D. 1831.
means of bringing me back again to the Lord, after I
have been backsliding. For it will not do, it is not pos-
sible, to live in sin, and at the same time, by communion
with God, to draw down from heaven every thing one
needs for the life that now is. 4. Frequently, too, a
fresh answer to prayer, obtained in this way, has been the
means of quickening my soul, and filling me with much
Joy.
About April 20th I went to Chumleigh. Here and in
the neighbourhood I preached repeatedly, and from thence
I went to Barnstaple. Whilst we were at Barnstaple,
there was found in my wife's bag a sovereign, put there
anonymously. A sister also gave us £2. On our return
to Teignmouth, May 2, when we emptied our travelling
bag, there fell out a paper with money. It contained two
sovereigns and threepence, the latter put in, no doubt, to
make a noise in emptying the bag. May the Lord bless
and reward the giver! Tn a similar way we found 4s, put
anonymously into one of our drawers, a few days after.
May 12. A sister has been staying for some time at
Teignmouth on account of her health, and when she was
about to return home to-day, we saw it the Lord’s will to
invite her to stay with us for some time, as we knew that
she would stay longer, if her means allowed it. We were
persuaded, that, as we saw it to be the Lord’s will to in-
vite her, he himself would pay the expenses connected with
her stay. About the time when she came to our house,
a parcel with money was sent from Chumleigh. The ex-
planation of it is this. A few weeks before, I had preached
at Chumleigh and in the neighbourhood. The brethren,
knowing about my manner of living, after my departure
collected some money for me, and thus, in small offerings
(107 altogether, as I have been told,) # 2. 0s. 1; d. was
given. Thus the Lord at once paid for the expenses con-
nected with our sister's staying with us.--About this
time a brother, who came as an invalid from London, was
directed to us in the providence of God, with whom we
had much communion.
June 6. Having prayed much on the previous days,
that when we wanted money the Lord would be pleased
to send some, to-day, after I had again asked for it, a poor
sister brought half a sovereign, 5s, from herself, and 5s.


A.D. 1831.] 77
from another very poor sister. This is not only a fresh
proof that the Lord hears prayer, but also that he sends
by whom he will. Our money had been reduced to 8s.
June 12. Lord's day. On Thursday last I went with
brother Craik to Torquay, to preach there. I had only
about 3s. with me, and left my wife with about 6s. at
home. The Lord provided beds for us through the hospi-
tality of a brother. I asked the Lord repeatedly for money;
but when I came home my wife had only about 3s. left,
having received nothing. We waited still upon the Lord.
Yesterday passed away, and no money came. We had
9d. left. This morning we were still waiting upon the
Lord, and looking for deliverance. We had only a little
butter left for breakfast, sufficient for brother E. and a
relative living with us, to whom we did not mention our
circumstances, that they might not be made uncom-
fortable. After the morning meeting, brother Y. most
unexpectedly opened the box, and in giving me quite as
unexpectedly the money at such a time, he told me that
he and his wife could not sleep last night, on account of
thinking that we might want money. The most striking
point is, that after I had repeatedly asked the Lord, but
received nothing, I then prayed yesterday, that the Lord
would be pleased to impress it on brother Y. that we wanted
"noney, so that he might open the boa. There was in it
17.8s. 10; d. Our joy on account of this fresh deliverance
was great, and we praised the Lord heartily.
June 18. Brother Craik called on us to-day, and he
then had only 1; d. left. A few minutes after, he received
a sum of money, and, in returning to us on his way home,
he gave us 10s., when we had but 3s. left.
July 20. A shoulder of mutton and a loaf were sent to
us anonymously.—I understood some time afterwards,
that Satan had raised the false report that we were
starving, in consequence of which a believer sent these
provisions. I would mention by the way, that various
reports have been circulated, on account of this our
way of living. Sometimes it has been said that we
had not enough to eat, and that surely such and such an
infirmity of body we had brought on us, because we had
not the necessaries of life. Now, the truth is, that, whilst
we have been often brought low ; yea, so low, that we
have not had even as much as one single penny left ; or
II 3
78 [A. D. 1831.
so as to have the last bread on the table, and not as much
money as was needed to buy another loaf:—yet never
have we had to sit down to a meal, without our good Lord
having provided nourishing food for us. I am bound to
state this, and I do it with pleasure. My Master has been
a kind Master to me, and if I had to choose this day
again, as to the way of living, the Lord giving me grace,
I would not choose differently. But even these very
reports, false as they were, I doubt not the Lord has
sometimes used as a means to put it into the hearts of his
children to remember our temporal necessities.
I notice one more false report which has been spread
concerning our mode of living. It has been often said,
since we have been in Bristol, that if more money were
given to us than we needed during the week, we at once
gave away the rest. The truth, however, is this. We
never give away for the sake of giving; but when our
Lord sends us opportunities for communicating of what
he has been pleased to bestow on us, we desire to have
grace to give, without anxiously reckoning as to the
future.
About July 25th I preached several times at Collump-
ton, and in a neighbouring village, in the open air. My
experience as it regards preaching in the open air has been
very different from what I might have expected. I have
often preached out of doors, and but once has it been
blessed, as far as I know, and that was in the case of an
officer in the army, who came to make sport of it; whilst
almost in every place, if not in every place, where I have
preached in rooms or chapels, the Lord has given testi-
mony to the word. Perhaps the Lord has not been
pleased to let me see fruit from this part of my work,
though I have been many times engaged in it; or it may
be, that because I did not pray so earnestly respecting .
my out-door preaching as respecting my in-door preaching,
the former has not been so much blessed as the latter.
But this testimony I cannot but bear, that though I do
not consider it at present my work, on account of want of
bodily strength, yet it is a most important work, and I
should delight in being so honoured now, as to be allowed
to be engaged in it.
August 9. After extreme suffering, which lasted about
seventeen hours, my wife was this day delivered of a still-
A. D. 1831.] 79
born child.—Who of my readers would suppose, that
whilst I was so abundantly blessed by God, and that in
so many respects, my heart should have been again many
times, during several months previous to this day, cold,
wretched, carnal? How long-suffering is the Lord!
Repeatedly, during this time, I could let hours run on,
after I had risen in the morning, before I prayed; at least,
before I retired for prayer. And at that time when I ap-
peared most zealous for God, perhaps more so than at any
time before or since, Iwas often far from being in a spiritual
state. I was not now, indeed, indulging in gross outward
sins, which could be noticed by my brethren; but often—
very often, the eye of my kind, loving T'ather must have
looked on me with much grief. On this account, I have
Ino doubt, the Lord now, in great compassion, sent this
heavy blow. I had not seriously thought of the great
danger connected with child-bearing, and therefore had
never earnestly prayed about it. Now came this solemn
time. The life of my dear wife was hanging, as it were,
on a thread, and, in the midst of it, my conscience told
me that my state of heart made such a chastisement
needful. Yet at the same time I was much supported.—
When the child was still-born, I saw almost immediately
afterwards that this could not have been expected other-
wise, for I had not looked on the prospect of having a
child as on a blessing, which I was about to receive from
God, but rather considered it as a burden and a hindrance
in the Lord’s work; for I did not know then, that,
whilst a wife and children may be in certain respects, on
the one hand, a hindrance to a servant of Christ, they also
may fit him, on the other hand, for certain parts of his
work, in teaching him things which are important to be
known, especially for the pastoral work. The Lord now
brought, in addition to this, very great sufferings upon
my beloved wife, which lasted for six weeks, combined
with a partial lameness of the left side.—Immediately
after the eventful time of August 8th and 9th, the Lord
brought me, in his tender mercy, again into a spiritual
state of heart, so that I was enabled to look on this chas-
tisement as a great blessing. May this my experience be
a warning to believing readers, that the Lord may not
need to chastise them, on account of their state of heart'
May it also be a fresh proof to them, that the Lord, in
80 [A. D. 1831.
his very love and faithfulness, will not, and cannot let us
go on in backsliding, but that he will visit us with stripes
to bring us back to himself!
There was one point, however, in which, by grace, I
had continued to be faithful to God, i. e. in my mode of
living, and, therefore, in as far as I had been faithfully
sowing, I now reaped abundantly; for the Lord most
graciously supplied, in rich abundance, all our temporal
wants, though they were many. Another reason for this
may have been, that the Lord never lays more on us, in
the way of chastisement, than our state of heart makes
needful; so that whilst he smites with the one hand, he
supports with the other.—We saw it to be against the
Lord’s mind to put by any money for my wife’s confine-
ment, though we might have, humanly speaking, very
easily saved 201. or 30l. during the six months previous
to August 7th. I say, humanly speaking, and judging
from what we had received during all these months, we
might have laid by as much as the above sums; but I
have every reason to believe, that had I begun to lay up,
the Lord would have stopped the supplies, and thus, the
ability of doing so was only apparent. Let no one profess
to trust in God, and yet lay up for future wants, otherwise
the Lord will first send him to the hoard he has amassed
before he can answer the prayer for more. We were
persuaded, that, if we laid out our money in the Lord's
service, he would send more when we needed it; and
this our faith, his own gift, he graciously honoured,
inasmuch as he not merely gave us what we needed, but
much more.
On August 6th, just before this time of need, the Lord
sent us 5l. from a distance of about forty miles, and that
from a sister, whom, up to this day, neither of us know
personally. On August 7th I received 11. 0s. 9%d. out of
the box. August 15th, from a distance of twenty-five
miles, was sent 5l., and from a distance of about seventy
miles, 11. August 18th, whilst preaching at Chudleigh,
1!. was sent to me, and a brother sent from Exeter 2l.
August 21st was again sent from a distance of seventy
miles 5l., and August 23rd another 5l. from the same
place. Also, August 22nd, 16s. 9d. was given out of the
box. August 24th, a brother, who is a day labourer, gave
me 2s. 6d. August 31st, 5s. was given to me. September
A. D. 1831.] 81
3rd, whilst preaching at Chudleigh, 31. 10s. was given to
me by a brother and three sisters. September 4th, a
sister gave me a guinea, and also out of the box was given
9s. 8d. September 10th, 6l. was given to me. Thus,
within about one month, the Lord not only sent us nearly
40l., but likewise all sorts of suitable provisions and
refreshments, needful at such a time; and, in addition to
this, the two medical gentlemen who attended my wife
would not take any remuneration for their unwearied
attention and kindness, during the space of six weeks.
Thus the Lord gave us even more than we could have
saved, if we had endeavoured to do so.
November 16th. This morning I proposed united
prayer respecting our temporal wants. Just as we were
about to pray, a parcel came from Exmouth. In prayer
we asked the Lord for meat for dinner, having no money
to buy any. After prayer, on opening the parcel, we
found, among other things, a ham, sent by a brother at
Exmouth, which served us for dinner. Thus not only our
own family was provided for, but also a sister in the Lord
then staying with us. -
November 17th. To-day we had not a single penny
left. We had asked the Lord yesterday and to-day. We
desired only enough money to be able to buy bread. We
were reduced more than ever we had been before. But
our gracious and faithful Lord, who neverlays more upon
his children than he enables them to bear, delivered us
again this time, by sending us ll. 10s. 6d., about an hour
before we wanted money to buy bread.
November 19th. We had not enough to pay our weekly
rent ; but the Lord graciously sent us again to-day
14s. 6d. I would just observe, that we never contract
debts, which we believe to be unscriptural (according to
Romans xiii. 8;) and therefore we have no bills with our
tailor, shoemaker, grocer, butcher, baker, &c.; but all we
buy we pay for in ready money. The Lord helping us,
we would rather suffer privation, than contract debts.
Thus we always know how much we have, and how much
we have a right to give away. May I entreat the believing
reader, prayerfully to consider this matter; for I am well
aware that many trials come upon the children of God, on
account of not acting according to Rom. xiii. 8.
82 [A. D. 1831.
November 27th, Lord’s day. Our money had been
reduced to 2%d.; our bread was hardly enough for this day.
I had several times brought our need before the Lord.
After dinner, when I returned thanks, I asked him to give
us our daily bread, meaning literally that he would send
us bread for the evening. Whilst I was praying, there
was a knock at the door of the room. After I had con-
cluded, a poor sister came in, and brought us some of her
dinner, and from another poor sister 5s. In the afternoon
she also brought us a large loaf. Thus the Lord not only
literally gave us bread, but also money.
In reading about all these answers to prayer, the believ-
ing reader may be led to think that I am spiritually
minded above most of the children of God, and that,
therefore, the Lord favours us thus. The true reason is
this. Just in as many points as we are acting according
to the mind of God, in so many are we blessed and made
a blessing. Our manner of living is according to the
mind of the Lord, for he delights in seeing his children
thus come to him (Matt. vi.); and therefore, though I am
weak and erring in many points, yet he blesses me in this
particular, and I doubt not will bless me, as long as he
shall enable me to act according to his will in this matter.
After we had, on December 31st, 1831, looked over the
Ilord’s gracious dealings with us during the past year, in
providing for all our temporal wants, we had about 10s. left.
A little while after, the providence of God called for that,
so that not a single farthing remained. Thus we closed the
old year, in which the Lord had been so gracious in giving
to us, without our asking any one:—1. Through the in-
strumentality of the box, 311. 14s.—2. From brethren
of the Church at Teignmouth, in presents of money,
6l. 18s. 6d.—3. From brethren living at Teignmouth and
elsewhere, not connected with the Church at Teignmouth,
931.6s. 2d.—Altogether, 1317. 18s. 8d. There had been
likewise many articles of provision and some articles of
clothing given to us, worth at least 201. I am so parti-
cular in mentioning these things, to show that we are
never losers from acting according to the mind of the
Lord. For had I had my regular salary, humanly speak-
ing, I should not have had nearly as much; but whether
this would have been the case or not, this is plain, that I
have not served a hard master, and that is what I delight
A.D. 1832.] 83
to show. For, to speak well of his name, that thus my
beloved fellow-pilgrims, who may read this, may be en-
couraged to trust in him, is the chief purpose of my
writing.
We had now in the new year to look up to our kind
Eather for new mercies, and indeed, during the year 1832
also, we found him as faithful and compassionate as before,
not laying more on us than he enabled us to bear, though
space will only permit me to mention a few particulars.
January 7, 1832. We had been again repeatedly asking
the Lord to-day and yesterday to supply our temporal
wants, having no means to pay our weekly rent, and this
evening, as late as eleven o’clock, a brother gave us
19s. 6d., a proof that the Lord is not limited to time.
January 13. The Lord has again graciously fed us to-
day. We have 5d. left, some bread, rice, meat, potatoes,
and other good things, and above all the Lord Jesus. He
who has provided will provide.
January 14. This morning we had nothing but dry
bread with our tea; only the second time since we have
been living by simple faith upon Jesus for temporal
supplies. We have more than 40l. of ready money in the
house for two bills,” which will not be payable for several
weeks; but we do not consider this money to be our own,
and would rather suffer great privation, God helping us,
than take of it. I thank the Lord, who gives me grace
to be more faithful in these matters than I used to be
formerly, when I would have taken of it, and said, that
by the time the money was actually due, I should be able
to replace it. We were looking to our Father, and he
has not suffered us to be disappointed. For when now
we had but 3d. left, and only a small piece of bread, we
received 2s. and 5s., the particulars concerning which
would take up too much space.
IFebruary 18. This afternoon I broke a blood-vessel in
my stomach, and lost a considerable quantity of blood. I -
was very happy immediately afterwards. February 19.
This morning, Lord’s day, two brethren called on me, to
ask me what arrangement there should be made to-day, as
* One bill I had to meet for a brother, the other was for money
which in the form of a bill I had sent to the Continent; but in both
cases the money was in my hands before the bills were given.
84 [A.D. 1832.
it regarded the four villages, where some of the brethren
were in the habit of preaching, as, on account of my not
being able to preach, one of the brethren would need to
stay at home to take my place. I asked them, kindly to
come again in about an hour, when I would give them an
answer. After they were gone, the Lord gave me faith to
rise. I dressed myself, and determined to go to the
chapel. I was enabled to do so, though so weak when I
went, that walking the short distance to the chapel was
an exertion to me. I was enabled to preach this morning
with as loud and strong a voice as usual, and for the
usual length of time. After the morning meeting, a
medical friend called on me, and entreated me not preach
again in the afternoon, as it might greatly injure me. I
told him that I should indeed consider it great presump-
tion to do so had the Lord not given me faith. I
preached again in the afternoon, and this medical friend
called again, and said the same concerning the evening
meeting. Nevertheless, having faith, I preached again in
the evening. After each meeting I became stronger,
which was a plain proof that the hand of God was in the
matter. After the third meeting I went immediately to
bed, considering that it would be presumption to try my
strength needlessly.
February 20. The Lord enabled me to rise early in
the morning, and to go to our usual prayer-meeting,
where I read, spoke and prayed. Afterwards I wrote
four letters, expounded the Scriptures at home, and at-
tended the meeting again in the evening. February 21.
I attended the two meetings as usual, preached in the
evening, and did my other work besides. February 22,
To-day I attended the meeting in the morning, walked
afterwards six miles with two brethen to Newton Bushel,
and rode from thence to Plymouth. February 23. I am
now as well as I was before I broke the blood-vessel.—In
relating the particulars of this circumstance I would
earnestly warn every one who may read this, not to
imitate me in such a thing, if he has no faith; but if he
has, it will, as good coin, most assuredly be honoured by
God. I could not say, that if such a thing should happen
again, I would act in the same way; for when I have
been not nearly so weak as when I had broken the blood-
vessel, having no faith, I did not preach; yet if it were to
A.D. 1832.] 85
please the Lord to give me faith, I might be able to do
the same, though even still weaker than at the time just
spoken of. º
About this time I repeatedly prayed with sick believers
till they were restored. Unconditionally I asked the
Lord for the blessing of bodily health (a thing which
I could not do now), and almost always had the petition
granted. In some instances, however, the prayer was
not answered. In the same way, whilst in London, Nov.
1829, in answer to my prayers, I was immediately re-
stored from a bodily infirmity under which I had been
labouring for a long time, and which has never returned
since. The way in which I now account for these facts
is as follows. It pleased the Lord, I think, to give me in
such cases something like the gift (not grace) of faith, so
that unconditionally I could ask and look for an answer.
The difference between the gift and the grace of faith
seems to me this. According to the gift of faith I am
able to do a thing, or believe that a thing will come
to pass, the not doing of which, or the not believing of
which would not be sin; according to the grace of faith I
am able to do a thing, or believe that a thing will come
to pass, respecting which I have the word of God as the
ground to rest upon, and, therefore, the not doing it, or
the not believing it would be sin. For instance, the gift
of faith would be needed, to believe that a sick person
should be restored again, though there is no human pro-
bability: for there is no promise to that effect; the grace of
Jaith is needed to believe that the Lord will give me the
necessaries of life, if I first seek the kingdom of God and
his righteousness: for there is a promise to that effect.”
Matt. vi.
March 18. These two days we have not been able to
purchase meat. The sister in whose house we lodge gave
us to-day part of her dinner. We are still looking to
Jesus for deliverance. We want money to pay the
weekly rent and to buy provisions. March 19. Our
landlady sent again of her meat for our dinner. We
have but a halfpenny left. I feel myself very cold, in
asking for money: still I hope for deliverance, though I
do not see whence money is to come. We were not able to
buy bread to-day as usual. March 20. This has been again
a day of very great mercies. In the morning we met
I
86 [A.D. 1832.
round our breakfast which the Lord had provided for us,
though we had not a single penny left. The last half-
penny was spent for milk. We were then still looking to
Jesus for fresh supplies. We both had no doubt that the
Iord would interfere, I felt it a trial that I had but
little earnestness in asking the Lord, and had this not
been the case, perhaps we might have had our wants
sooner supplied. We have about 7l. in the house; but
considering it no longer our own, the Lord kept us from
taking of it, with the view of replacing what we had
taken, as formerly I might have done. The meat which
was sent yesterday for our dinner, was enough also for
to-day. Thus the Lord had provided another meal.
Two sisters called upon us about noon, who gave us two
pounds of sugar, one pound of coffee, and two cakes of
chocolate. Whilst they were with us, a poor sister came
and brought us 1s. from herself and 2s. 6d. from another
poor sister. Our landlady also sent us again of her
dinner, and also a loaf. Our bread would scarcely have
been enough for tea, had the Lord not thus graciously
provided. In the afternoon the same sister who brought
the money, brought us also from another sister, one
pound of butter and 2s., and from another sister 5s.
Thus the Lord graciously has again answered our feeble
and cold breathings. Lord, strengthen our faith!
March 29. I went to Shaldon this morning. Brother
Craik has left for Bristol for four weeks. I think he will
only return to take leave, and that the Lord will give him
work there. [What a remarkable presentiment, which
came to pass, concerning my beloved brother and fellow-
labourer ||
April 4. Besides our own family, there are now four
visitors staying with us, and we have but 2s. April 5.
Four pounds of cheese, and one pound of butter were
sent to us. April 7. Anonymously was sent to us, from
Plymouth, a large ham, with two sovereigns tied in the
corner of the cloth in which the ham was wrapped up.
Thus the Lord, once more, in this our time of need, when
our expenses are double, has graciously appeared for us.
April 8. I have again felt much this day that Teignmouth
is no longer my place, and that I shall leave it.
I would observe that in August of the preceding year
(1831), I began greatly to feel as if my work at Teign-
A.D. 1832.] 87
mouth were done, and that I should go somewhere else.
On writing about this to a friend, I was led, from the
answer I received, to consider the matter more maturely,
and at last had it settled in this way,+that it was not
likely to be of God, because, for certain reasons, I should
naturally have liked to leave Teignmouth. Afterwards I
felt quite comfortable in remaining there. In the com-
mencement of the year 1832 I began again much to
doubt whether Teignmouth was my place, or whether my
gift was not much more that of going about from place to
place, seeking to bring believers back to the Scriptures,
than to stay in one place and to labour as a pastor. I
thought so particularly whilst at Plymouth, in February.
On my return, however, I resolved to try whether it were
not the will of God that I should still give myself to pas-
toral work among the brethren at Teignmouth; and with
more earnestness and faithfulness than ever, I was en-
abled to give myself to this work, and was certainly much
refreshed and blessed in it; and I saw immediately bless-
ings result from it. This my experience seemed more
than ever to settle me at Teignmouth. But notwith-
standing this the impression that my work was done
there, came back after some time, as the remark in my
journal of April 8th shows, and it became stronger and
stronger. There was one point remarkable in connexion
with this. Wherever I went I preached with much more
enjoyment and power than at Teignmouth, the very
reverse of which had been the case on my first going
there. Moreover, almost every where I had many more
hearers than at Teignmouth, and found the people hun-
gering after food, which, generally speaking, was no
longer the case at Teignmouth.
April 10. I asked the Lord for a text, but got none.
At last, after having again much felt that Teignmouth
is not my place, I was directed to Isaiah li. 9–11.
April 11. Felt again much that Teignmouth will not
much longer be my residence. April 12. Still feel the
impression that Teignmouth is no longer my place.
April 13. Found a letter from Brother Craik, from
Bristol, on my return from Torquay, where I had been
to preach. He invites me to come and help him. It
appears to me, from what he writes, that such places as
Bristol more suit my gifts. O Lord, teach me! I have
I 2
88 [A.D. 1832.
felt this day more than ever, that I shall soon leave Teign-
mouth. I fear, however, there is much connected with
it which savours of the flesh, and that makes me fearful.
It seems to me as if I should shortly go to Bristol, if the
Lord permit. April 14. Wrote a letter to Brother Craik,
in which I said I should come, if I clearly saw it to be the
Lord’s will. Have felt again very much to-day, yea, far
more than ever, that I shall soon leave Teignmouth. At
last I was pressed in spirit to determine that to-morrow I
would tell the brethren so, in order that by the result of
this I might see more of the Lord’s mind; and that, at
all events, I might have their prayers, to be directed in
this matter by the Lord.
April 15. Lord’s day. This evening I preached again
once more, as fully as time would permit, on the Lord’s
second coming. After having done so, I told the brethren
what effect this doctrine had had upon me, on first re-
ceiving it, even to determine me to leave London, and to
preach throughout the kingdom; but that the Lord had
kept me chiefly at Teignmouth for these two years and
three months, and that it seemed to me now that the time
was near when I should leave them. I reminded them
of what I told them when they requested me to take the
oversight of them, that I could make no certain engage-
ment, but stay only so long with them as I should see it .
to be the Lord's will to do so. There was much weepin
afterwards. But I am now again in peace. [This would
not have been the case, had the matter not been of God.
I knew of no place to go to. My mind was much
directed to Torquay, to preach there for a month or so,
and then to go further. For though I had written that I
would come to Bristol, I meant only to stay there for a
few days, and to preach a few times.]
April 16. This morning I am still in peace. I am glad
I have spoken to the brethren, that they may be prepared,
in case the Lord should take me away.—Having again
little money, and being about to leave Teignmouth for
several days, I asked the Lord for a fresh supply, and
within about four hours afterwards he sent me, from six
different quarters, 31.7s.6d. I left to-day for Dartmouth,
where I preached in the evening.—There was much weep-
ing to-day among the Saints at Teignmouth. This is
already a trial to me, and it will be still more so should I
A.D. 1832.] 89
actually leave.—It is a most important work to go about
and stir up the churches; but it requires much grace,
much self-denial, much saying over the same things, and
the greatest watchfulness and faithfulness, in making use
of one's time for prayer, meditation, and reading the Scrip-
tures.—I had five answers to prayer to-day. 1. I awoke
at five, for which I had asked the Lord last evening.
2. The Lord removed from my dear wife an indisposition,
under which she had been suffering. It would have been
trying to me, to have had to leave her in that state.
3. The Lord sent us money. 4. There was a place vacant
on the Dartmouth coach, which only passes through
Teignmouth. 5. This evening I was assisted in preach-
ing, and my own soul refreshed.
April 17. I preached again at Dartmouth. April 18. I
am still at Dartmouth. I wrote to Brother Craik, that,
the Lord willing, I should be with him at Bristol on the
21st. I preached again this evening, with especial as-
sistance, before a large congregation. April 19. I awoke
early, and had a good while to myself for prayer and
reading the word, and left happy in spirit for Torquay,
where I preached in the evening with much help. The
brethren are sorry, that, on account of my going to Bristol,
my regular weekly preaching will be given up there for a
while. I walked home after preaching, and arrived at
Teignmouth at twelve o’clock.
April 20. I left this morning for Bristol. I preached
with little power (as to my own feeling) in Exeter, from
three till half past four. At five I left for Taleford, where
I preached in the evening, likewise with little power. I
was very tired in body, and had had therefore little prayer.
But still, in both places, the believers seemed refreshed.
I went to bed at eleven, very, very tired.
April 21. This morning I rose a little before five, and
attended a prayer meeting from a quarter past five to a
quarter past six. I spoke for some time at the meeting.
Afterwards I prayed and read again with some believers,
and likewise expounded the Scriptures. The Bristol coach
took me up about ten. I was very faithless on the journey.
I did not speak a single word for Christ, and was there-
fore wretched in my soul. This has shown me again my
weakness. Though the Lord had been so gracious to me
yesterday, in this particular, both on my way from Teign-
I 3
90 [A.D. 1832.
mouth to Exeter, and from Exeter to Taleford, and had
given me much encouragement, in that he made my
fellow-travellers either thankfully to receive the word, or
constrained them quietly to listen to the testimony; yet
I did not confess him to-day. Nor did I give away a
single tract, though I had my pockets full on purpose.
O wretched man that I am
I would offer here a word of warning to my fellow-
believers. Often the work of the Lord itself may be a
temptation, to keep us from that communion with him
which is so essential to the benefit of our own souls.-On
the 19th I had left Dartmouth, conversed a good deal that
day, preached in the evening, walked afterwards eight
miles, had only about five hours sleep, travelled again the
next day twenty-five miles, preached twice, and conversed
very much besides, went to bed at eleven, and arose before
five. All this shows that my body and spirit required
rest, and, therefore, however careless about the Lord’s
work I might have appeared to my brethren, I ought to
have had a great deal of quiet time for prayer and reading
the word, especially as I had a long journey before me
that day, and as I was going to Bristol, which in itself
required much prayer. Instead of this I hurried to the
prayer meeting, after a few minutes' private prayer. But
let none think that public prayer will make up for closet
communion. Then again, afterwards, when I ought to
have withdrawn myself, as it were, by force, from the
company of beloved brethren and sisters, and given my
testimony for the Lord (and, indeed, it would have been
the best testimony I could have given them), by telling
them that I needed secret communion with the Lord: I
did not do so, but spent the time, till the coach came, in
conversation with them. Now, however profitable in some
respects it may have been made to those with whom I was
on that morning, yet my own soul needed food; and not
having had it, I was lean, and felt the effects of it the
whole day, and hence I believe it came that I was dumb
on the coach.
April 22. This morning I preached at Gideon Chapel,
Bristol. [Though this sermon gave rise to false reports,
yet the Lord was pleased to bless it to several; and the
false reports were likewise instrumental in bringing many
individuals under the sound of the word.] In the after-
A.D. 1832.] 91
noon I preached at the Pithay Chapel. [This sermon was
a blessing to many, many souls; and many were brought
through it, to come afterwards to hear Brother Craik and
me. Among others it was the means of converting a
young man who was a notorious drunkard, and who was
just again on his way to a public house, when an ac-
quaintance of his met him, and asked him to go with him
to hear a foreigner preach. He did so; and from that
moment he was so completely altered, that he never again
went to a public house, and was so happy in the Lord
afterwards that he often neglected his supper, from eager-
ness to read the Scriptures, as his wife told me. He died
about five months afterwards.] This evening I was much
instructed in hearing Brother Craik preach. I am now
fully persuaded that Bristol is the place where the Lord
will have me to labour.
April 23. This evening I preached again with much
assistance at Gideon. I was very happy. [The Lord made
this testimony a blessing to several.] I feel that Bristol
is my place for a while. The Lord mercifully teach me !
April 27. It seems to Brother Craik and myself the
Lord’s will that we should go home next week, in order
that in quietness, without being influenced by what we
see here, we may more inquire into the Lord’s will con-
cerning us. It especially appears to us much more likely
that we should come to a right conclusion among the
brethren and sisters in Devonshire, whose tears we shall
have to witness, and whose entreaties to stay with them
we shall have to hear, than here in Bristol, where we see
only those who wish us to stay. Some asked me to stay
with them while Brother Craik goes home. But it seems
better that we should both go. [I observe here, it was
evident that many preferred my beloved brother's gifts to
my own; yet, as he would not come, except I came with
him ; and as I knew that I also had been called by the
Lord for the ministry of the word, I knew that I also
should find my work in Bristol, and that though it might
be a different one, yet I should fill up in some measure
his lack, whilst he supplied my deficiencies; and that thus
we might both be a benefit to the church and to the
world in Bristol. The result has evidently confirmed this.
I am, moreover, by the grace of God, strengthened to
rejoice in my fellow-labourer's honour, instead of envying
92 [A.D. 1832.
him; having, in some measure, been enabled to enter into
the meaning of that word: “A man can receive nothing,
except it be given him from above.”]
April 28. It still seems to us the Lord’s will that we
should both leave soon, to have quiet time for prayer con-
cerning Bristol. This afternoon I felt the want of retire-
ment, finding afresh, that the society of brethren cannot
make up for communion with the Lord. I spent about
three hours over the word and in prayer, this evening,
which has been a great refreshment to my inner man.
April 29. I preached this morning with much outward
power, but with little inward enjoyment, on Rev. iii. 14—
22. [As it afterwards appeared, that testimony was
blessed to many, though I lacked enjoyment in my own
soul. May this be an encouragement to those who labour
in word and doctrine !] This afternoon Brother Craik
preached in a vessel called the Clifton Ark, fitted up for
a chapel. In the evening I preached in the same vessel.
[These testimonies also God greatly honoured, and made
them the means of afterwards bringing several, who then
heard us, to our meeting places. How did God bless us
in every thing we took into our hands ! How was he
with us, and how did he help us, thereby evidently show-
ing that he himself had sent us to this city | I] Brother
Craik preached this evening at Gideon for the last time
previous to our going. The aisles, the pulpit stairs, and
the vestry were filled, and multitudes went away on
account of want of room.
April 30. It was most affecting to take leave of the
dear children of God, dozens pressing us to return soon,
many with tears in their eyes. The blessing which the
Lord has given to our ministry, seems to be very great.
We both see it fully the Lord's will to come here, though
we do not see under what circumstances. A brother has
promised to take Bethesda Chapel for us, and to be
answerable for the payment of the rent; so that thus we
should have two large chapels.-I saw, again, two in-
stances to-day, in which my preaching has been blessed.
May 1. Brother Craik and I left this morning for
Devonshire. May 2. I preached this evening at Bishop-
steignton, and told the brethren that, the Lord willing, I
should soon leave them. May 3. I saw several of the
brethren to-day, and felt so fully assured that it is the
A.D. 1832.] 93
Lord’s will that I should go to Bristol, that I told them
so. This evening I had a meeting with the three deacons,
when I told them plainly about it; asking them, if they
See any thing wrong in me concerning this matter, to tell
me of it. They had nothing to say against it; yea, though
much wishing me to stay, they were convinced themselves
that my going is of God.
May 4. I saw again several brethren to-day, and told
them about my intention to go to Bristol. There is much
sorrowing and sighing, but it does not move me in the
least, though I desire to sympathize with them. I am still
fully persuaded that the Lord will have us go to Bristol.
May 5. One other striking proof to my mind, that my
leaving Teignmouth is of God, is, that some truly spiritual
believers, though they much wish me to stay, themselves
see that I ought to go to Bristol.
May 7. Having received a letter from Bristol on May
5th, it was answered to-day in such a way that the Lord
may have another opportunity, to prevent our going
thither, if it be not of him. Especially we will not move
a single stone out of the way in our own strength, and
much less still be guilty of a want of openness and plain-
ness, nor would we wish, by such means to obtain Bethesda
chapel.
May 11. The Lord seems to try us about Bristol.
There was reason to expect a letter the day before yester-
day, but none came; also to-day there is no letter. Even
this is very good for us. Yea, I do wish most heartily
that we may not have Bethesda chapel, if it be not good
for us.
May 15. Just when I was in prayer concerning Bristol,
I was sent for to come to brother Craik. Two letters had
arrived from Bristol. The brethren assembling at Gideon
accept our offer to come under the conditions we have
made, i.e., for the present to consider us only as minis-
tering among them, but not in any fixed pastoral relation-
ship, so that we may preach as we consider it to be
according to the mind of God, without reference to any
vules among them ; that the pew-rents should be done away
with ; and that we should go on, respecting the supply of
our temporal wants, as in Devonshire. We intend, the
Lord willing, to leave in about a week, though there is
nothing settled respecting Bethesda chapel.
94. [A.D. 1832.
May 16. I preached for the last time at Bishop-
steignton, and took leave of the brethren. May 17. . I
went to Exmouth, and, after preaching, took leave of the
brethren. May 21. I began to-day to take leave of the
brethren at Teignmouth, calling on each of them. In the
evening I went over to Shaldon to take leave of the
brethren, of whom brother Craik has had the oversight.
It has been a trying day. Much weeping on the part of
the saints. Were I not so fully persuaded that it is the
will of God we should go to Bristol, I should have been
hardly able to bear it.
May 22. The brethren at Shaldon and Teignmouth say,
that they expect us soon back again. As far as I under-
stand the way in which God deals with his children, this
seems very unlikely. In every respect we have seen the
Lord’s goodness, and all proves that it is his will that we
should go to Bristol. This full persuasion has helped me
to withstand all the tears of the saints. Towards the
evening the Lord, after repeated prayer, gave me Col. i.
21—23, as a text, for the last word of exhortation. It
seemed to me best to speak as little as possible about
myself, and as much as possible about Christ. I scarcely
alluded to our separation, and only commended myself
and the brethren, in the concluding prayer, to the Lord.
The parting scenes are very trying, but my full persuasion
is, that the separation is of the Lord.
May 23. My wife, Mr. Groves, my father-in-law, and
I left this morning for Exeter. Dear brother Craik in-
tends to follow us to-morrow.
Jeeview of the time since I left London, up to my removal
jrom Teignmouth.
I. All this time the Lord never allowed me to regret
the step I had taken, in separating from the Society.
II. The results have most abundantly shown, that it
was of God; for by his help, 1, I have not lost in truth
or grace since. 2, I have been in peace concerning the
matter. 3, The Lord made it a blessing to many souls.
III. During this period it pleased the Lord, to convert,
through my instrumentality, many souls at Teignmouth,
Exmouth, Bishopsteignton, Exeter, Chudleigh, in the
neighbourhood of Barnstaple, at Chard, and elsewhere.
--
A.D. 1832.] 95
The church at Teignmouth increased from eighteen to
fifty-one.
IV. The Lord most graciously supplied all my temporal
wants during this period, so that I lacked no good thing.
V. We had unexpectedly received, just before we left
Teignmouth, about 15l., else we should not have been able
to defray all the expenses connected with leaving, travel-
ling, &c. By this also the Lord showed His mind con-
cerning our going to Bristol.
VI. During these two years and five months, since I
left London, I have sinned in many respects, though
walking, it may be, in the eyes of the brethren, very near
to God. Indeed, my confession concerning this time
also is, that I have been an unprofitable servant.
The following record will now show to the believing
reader how far what I have said concerning my persuasion,
that it was the will of God that we should go to Bristol,
has been proved by facts.
May 25th, 1832. This evening we arrived in Bristol.
May 27. This morning we received a sovereign, sent to
us by a sister residing in Devonshire, which we take as
an earnest that the Lord will provide for us here also.
May 28. When we were going to speak to the brethren,
who manage the temporal affairs of Gideon chapel, about
giving up the pew-rents, having all the seats free, and
receiving the free-will offerings through a box, a matter
which was not quite settled on their part, as brother Craik
and I had thought ; we found that the Lord had so
graciously ordered this matter for us, that there was not
the least objection on the part of these brethren.
June 4. For several days we have been looking about
for lodgings, but finding none plain and cheap enough, we
were led to make this also a subject of earnest prayer;
and now, immediately afterwards, the Lord has given us
such as are suitable. They are the plainest and cheapest
we can find, but still too good for servants of Jesus, as
our Master had not where to lay his head. We pay only
18s. a week for two sitting rooms and three bed rooms,
coals and attendance. It was particularly difficult to find
cheap furnished lodgings, having five rooms in the same
house, which we need, as brother Craik and we live toge-
ther. IIow good is the Lord to have thus appeared for
96 [A.D. 1832.
us, in answer to prayer, and what an encouragement to
commit every thing to him in prayerſ
June 5. To-day we had already a testimony of a sinner
having been converted by brother Craik's instrumentality,
on the first Lord’s day in April, simply through hearing
the text read. [This aged sister lived eleven years after-
wards, during which time her walk was according to the
profession she made. She fell asleep in 1843.] June 7.
We have daily fresh encouragements, and fresh proofs
that our being here is of God. June 16. We saw
another instance of conversion through brother Craik's
instrumentality.
June 25. To-day it was finally settled to take Bethesda
chapel for a twelvemonth, on condition that a brother at
once paid the rent, with the understanding, that if the
Lord shall bless our labours in that place, so that be-
lievers are gathered together in fellowship, he expects
them to help him; but if not, that he will pay all. This
was the only way in which we could take the chapel; for
we could not think it to be of God to have had this
chapel, though there should have been every prospect of
usefulness, if it had made us in any way debtors. We
had tried to obtain a cheaper meeting-place, but could
find none large enough to accommodate the hearers.
July 6. To-day we commenced preaching at Bethesda
Chapel. It was a good day. July 13. To-day we heard
of the first cases of cholera in Bristol. July 16. This
evening, from six to nine o’clock, we had appointed for
conversing at the vestry, one by one, with individuals,
who wished to speak to us about their souls. There were
so many, that we were engaged from six till twenty
minutes past ten.
These meetings we have continued ever since twice a
week, or once a week, or once a fortnight, or once a month,
as our strength and time allowed it, or as they seemed
needed. We have found them beneficial in the following
respects:
1. Many persons, on account of timidity, would prefer
coming at an appointed time to the vestry to converse
with us, to calling on us in our own house. 2. The very
fact of appointing a time for seeing people, to converse
with them in private concerning the things of eternity,
has brought some, who, humanly speaking, never would
A.D. 1832.] 97
have called on us under other circumstances; yea, it has
brought even those who, though they thought they were
concerned about the things of God, yet were completely
ignorant; and thus we have had an opportunity of speaking
to them. 3. These meetings have also been a great en-
couragement to ourselves in the work, for often, when we
thought that such and such expositions of the word had
done no good at all, it was, through these meetings, found
to be the reverse; and likewise, when our hands were
hanging down, we have been afresh encouraged to go for-
ward in the work of the Lord, and to continue sowing
the seed in hope, by seeing at these meetings fresh cases,
in which the Lord had condescended to use us as instru-
ments, particularly as in this way instances have some-
times occurred in which individuals have spoken to us
about the benefit which they derived from our ministry,
not only a few months before, but even as long as two,
three, and four years before.
Eor the above reasons I would particularly recommend
to other servants of Christ, especially to those who live
in large towns, if they have not already introduced a simi-
lar plan, to consider whether it may not be well for them
also to set apart such times for seeing inquirers. Those
meetings, however, require much prayer, to be enabled to
speak aright to all those who come, according to their
different need; and one is led continually to feel that one
is not sufficient of one’s self for these things, but that
our sufficiency can be alone of God. These meetings also
have been by far the most wearing out part of all our
work, though at the same time the most refreshing.
July 18. To-day I spent the whole morning in the
vestry, to procure a quiet season. This has now for some
time been the only way, on account of the multiplicity of
engagements, to make sure of time for prayer, reading
the word, and meditation. July 19. I spent from half-
past nine till one in the vestry, and had real communion
with the Lord. The Lord be praised, who has put it
into my mind to use the vestry for a place of retirementſ
August 5. When all our money was gone to-day, the
Lord again graciously supplied our wants. August 6.
This afternoon, from two till after six, brother Craik and
I spent in the vestry, to see the inquirers. We have had
again, in seeing several instances of blessing upon our
EC
98 [A.D. 1832.
labours, abundant reason brought before us to praise the
Lord for having sent us to Bristol.
August 13, 1832. This evening one brother and four
sisters united with brother Craik and me in church-fellow-
ship at Bethesda, without any rules, desiring only to act as
the Lord shall be pleased to give us light through his word.
August 14. This day we set apart for prayer concern-
ing the cholera, and had three meetings.
August 17. This morning, from six to eight, we had a
prayer meeting at Gideon, on account of the cholera.
Between two and three hundred people were present.
[We continued these meetings every morning, as long as
the cholera raged in Bristol, and afterwards changed them
into prayer meetings for the church at large, so that we
had them for about four months.]
August 24. This morning a sister in the Lord, within
fifty yards of our lodging, was taken ill in the cholera,
and died this afternoon. Her husband also, a believer,
has been attacked, and may be near death. The ravages
of this disease are becoming daily more and more fearful.
We have reason to believe that great numbers die
daily in this city. Who may be the next, God alone
knows. I have never realized so much the nearness of
death. Except the Lord keep us this night, we shall be
no more in the land of the living to-morrow. Just now,
ten in the evening, the funeral bell is ringing, and has
been ringing the greater part of this evening. It rings
almost all the day. Into thine hands, O Lord, I com-
mend myself! Here is thy poor worthless child ! If
this night I should be taken in the cholera, my only hope
and trust is in the blood of Jesus Christ, shed for the re-
mission of all my many sins. I have been thoroughly
washed in it, and the righteousness of God covers me.—
As yet there have not been any of the saints, among whom
brother Craik and I labour, taken in the cholera. [Only
one of them fell asleep afterwards in consequence of this
disease. I would observe, that though brother Craik and
I visited many cholera cases, by day and by night, yet
the Lord most graciously preserved us and our families
from it.]
September 17. This morning the Lord, in addition to
all his other mercies, has given us a little girl, who, with
her mother, are doing well.
September 21, On account of the birth of our little
A.D. 1832.] 99
one, and brother Craik's intended marriage, it is needful
that, we change our lodgings, as they will now be too
Small for us, because we shall want one room more. Just
when we were thinking about this, the house belonging
to Gideon chapel, which had been let for three years, was
unexpectedly given up by the tenant, and it was now
offered to us by the church. We said we could not think
of going into it, as we had no furniture, and no money to
buy any. The brother who proposed our going into that
house, however, replied, that the brethren would gladly
furnish it for us, to which we objected, fearing it would
burthen them. When, however, the matter was repeat-
edly mentioned, and when it was particularly expressed
that it would be a pleasure to the brethren to furnish the
house, we began to consider the subject in prayer, and
we saw no scriptural objection to accept this kindness,
provided the furniture was very plain. This was pro-
mised. The house was furnished, yet the love of the
brethren had done it more expensively than we wished it.
September 23. To-day an individual desired publicly
to return thanks to the Lord, for having been supported
under the loss of a child, mother, brother, and wife, in
the cholera, within one month.
September 25. Last night brother Craik and I were
called out of bed to a poor woman ill in the cholera. She
was suffering intensely. We never saw a case so dis-
tressing. We could hardly say any thing to her on ac-
count of her loud cries. I felt as if the cholera was com-
ing upon me. We commended ourselves into the hands
of the Lord when we came home, and he mercifully pre-
served us. The poor woman died to-day. September 29.
A brother sent this evening two new hats as a present
for brother Craik and me.
Oct. 1. A meeting for inquirers this afternoon from
two to five. Many more are convinced of sin through
brother Craik's preaching than my own. This circum-
stance led me to inquire into the reasons, which are pro-
bably these:–1. That brother Craik is more spiritually
minded than I am. 2. That he prays more earnestly for
the conversion of sinners than I do. 3. That he more
frequently addresses sinners, as such, in his public minis-
trations, than I do.—This led me to more frequent and
earnest prayer for the wºn of sinners, and to ad- ,
K * ºr
100 [A.D. 1833.
dress them more frequently as such. The latter had never
been intentionally left undone, but it had not been so fre-
quently brought to my mind as to that of brother Craik.
Since them, the cases in which it has pleased the Lord to
use me as an instrument of conversion have been quite as
many as those in which brother Craik has been used.
May the Lord be pleased to use this as a means to lead
any of his servants, who may not have acted according to
these two last points, to seek to do so, and may he gra-
ciously enable me to do so more abundantly
October 3. This day we set apart as a day of thanks-
giving, the cholera having decreased. Oct. 5. Prayer
meeting this morning as usual. The cholera is very much
decreasing, and the number at our morning prayer meet-
ings likewise.—Hundreds of people were stirred up at
that time, but many of them, when the judgment of God
had passed away, cared no longer about their souls. Yet
a goodly number, who were first led through the instru-
mentality of the cholera to seek the Lord, are now break-
ing bread with us, and are walking in the fear of the Lord.
How merciful in its results has this heavy judgment been
to many
January 4, 1833. This morning we received letters
from Bagdad. The missionary brethren there invite bro-
ther Craik and me to come and join them in their labours.
The invitation was accompanied by drafts to the amount
of £200., for our travelling expenses. What wilt thou
have me to do, gracious Lord P I do not know what may
be the Lord’s mind. There are points which ought to be
much considered and prayed over : There are German
villages not very far from Bagdad, where I might labour;
upon our going, that of certain other individuals may de-
pend; the brethren at Bagdad are of one mind respecting
our going out; good may be done on the way; the going
out without any visible support from a society, simply
trusting in the Lord for the supply of our temporal wants,
would be a testimony for him ; I have had for years a
feeling as if one day I should go out as a missionary to
the heathen or Mahomedans; and lastly, the hands of
the brethren at Bagdad may be strengthened; these are
the points, which must appear of no sufficient weight in
comparison with the importance of our work here, before
. I can determine not to go.
A.D. 1833.] 101
January 5. I considered with brother Craik about
going to Bagdad. We see nothing clearly. If the Lord
will have me to go, here I am. January 7. I spent again
some time in prayer, respecting our going to Bagdad, and
examined more fully into it. January 8. I had from half-
past five till eight this morning to myself in prayer and
reading the word. I prayed then, and repeatedly besides
this day, respecting our going to Bagdad. I wrote also
a letter to some believers at and near Barnstaple, to ask
their prayers concerning this matter. I do not see more
clearly than I did before. January 9. I again asked the
Lord concerning Bagdad, but see nothing clearly respect-
ing it. I told the Lord I should stay at my post, unless he
himself should most evidently take me away, and I did
not feel afterwards my remaining here to be against his
will. January 14. I feel more and more satisfied that it
is not of the Lord that I should go to Bagdad. Janu-
ary 19. For some days past I have been reading brother
Groves’ journal of his residence at Bagdad, both for the
sake of information respecting his position there, and also,
if it please the Lord, that he may use this as a means to
show me clearly whether I should go or stay. Blessed
be his name that I have no desire of my own in this
matter! [Twenty-three years have since passed away,
and I think I may say this day still, according to the best
of my knowledge, I had no desire of my own in this mat-
ter; but I never saw it to be the Lord’s will to leave the
work which he himself had so evidently given me.]
February 9. I read a part of Franke's life. The Lord
graciously help me to follow him, as far as he followed
Christ. The greater part of the Lord’s people whom we .
know in Bristol are poor, and if the Lord were to give us
grace to live more as this dear man of God did, we might
draw much more than we have as yet done out of our Hea-
venly Father's bank, for our poor brethren and sisters.
March 2. A man in the street ran up to brother
Craik, and put a paper containing ten shillings into his
hand, saying, “That is for you and Mr. Müller,” and went
hastily away.—From May 9th to the 16th brother Craik
and I spent at Teignmouth and Shaldon, visiting the bre-
thren whom we had left, and preaching again among them.
It was evident, from several circumstances, why just then
and not before (as we had often desired) the Lord had sent
- K 3
102 [A.D. 1833.
us to them, in answer to prayer. For our visit to Teign-
mouth, on account of the peculiar state of the church,
was so in season, that some of the brethren thought we
had been sent for to come.
May 27. To-day the two churches, assembling at Gideon
and Bethesda, met together at tea.—These meetings we
have often repeated, and found them profitable on several
accounts. 1. They give a testimony to the world of the
love of the brethren, by rich and poor meeting thus toge-
ther to partake of a meal. 2. Such meetings may be in-
strumental in uniting the saints more and more together.
3. They give us a sweet foretaste of our meeting together
at the marriage supper of the Lamb.-At these meetings
we pray and sing together, and any brother has an oppor-
tunity to speak what may tend to the edificationof the rest.
May 28. This morning, whilst sitting in my room, the
distress of several brethren and sisters was brought to
my mind, and I said to myself, “Oh that it might please
the Lord to give me means to help them " About an
hour afterwards I received £60. from a brother, whom
up to this day I never saw, and who then lived, as he
does still, at a distance of several thousand miles. This
shows how the Lord can provide in any way for his
people, and that he is not confined to places. Oh that my
heart might overflow with gratitude to the Lord! [Since
the first edition was plinted, I have becomic personally
acquainted with the donor.]
May 29. Review of the last twelve months, since we
have been in Bristol, as it regards the fruits of our la-
bours. 1. It has pleased the Lord to gather a church
through our instrumentality, at Bethesda, which is in-
creased to 60 in number, and there have been added to
Gideon church 49; therefore the total number of those
added to us within the year, has been 109. 2. There
have been converted through our instrumentality, so far
as we have heard and can judge respecting the individuals,
65. 3. Many backsliders have been reclaimed, and many
of the children of God have been encouraged and strength-
ened in the way of truth. What clear proofs that we
were not suffered to be mistaken, as it regards our coming
to Bristol
June 12. I felt, this morning, that we might do some-
thing for the souls of those poor boys and girls, and grown-
up or aged people, to whom we have daily given bread for
[A.D. 1833. 103
some time past, in establishing a school for them, reading
the Scriptures to them, and speaking to them about the
Lord. As far as I see at present, it appears well to me
to take a place in the midst of those poor streets near us,
to collect the children in the morning about eight, giving
them each a piece of bread for breakfast, and then to teach
them to read, or to read the Scriptures to them, for about
an hour and a half. Afterwards the aged, or grown-up
people, may have their appointed time, when bread may
be given to them, and the Scriptures read and expounded
to them, for, perhaps, half an hour. About similar things
I have now and then thought these two years.—There
was bread given to about 30 or 40 persons to-day; and
though the number should increase, in the above way, to
200 or more, surely our gracious and rich Lord can give
us bread for them also. No sooner had these thoughts
arisen, and I communicated them to my dear brother
Craik, than I was also directed to a place where the
people may be assembled, holding comfortably 150 chil-
dren. We went about it, and may have it at the rent of
10l. yearly. The Lord directed us, also, to an aged
brother as a teacher, and he gladly accepted of our offer.
Surely, this matter seems to be of God. Moreover, as I
have just now a good deal of money left of the 60l., we
have wherewith to begin; and if it be the Lord’s will,
and if he will accept it, I am willing to lay out at once
20l. of it in this way, yea, all that is left, if he will but
speak; and, by the time that this is gone, he can send
more. O Lord, if this matter be of thee, then prosper it!
This desire was not carried out. As far as I remem-
ber, the chief obstacle in the way was a pressure of work
coming upon brother Craik and me just about that time.
Shortly after, the number of the poor who came for bread
increased to between 60 and 80 a day, whereby our neigh-
bours were molested, as the beggars were lying about in
troops in the street, on account of which we were obliged
to tell them no longer to come for bread. But though, at
this time, this matter was not carried out, the thought
was, from time to time, revived and strengthened in my
mind, and it ultimately issued in the formation of the
Scriptural Knowledge Institution, and in the establish-
ment of the Orphan-Houses.]
June 22. A brother sent a hat to brother Craik, and
one to me, as a token of his love and gratiiude, like a
104 [A.D. 1833.
thank-offering, as he says. This is now the fourth hat
which the Lord has kindly sent me successively, when-
ever, or even before, I needed one. Between August
19th and 27th was sent to us, by several individuals, a
considerable quantity of fruit. How very kind of the
Lord, not merely to send us the necessaries of life, but
even such things as, on account of the weakness of our
bodies, or the want of appetite, we might have desired
Thus the Lord has sent wine or porter when we required
it; or, when there was want of appetite, and, on account
of the poverty of our brethren, we should not have consi-
dered it right to spend money upon such things, he has
kindly sent fowls, game, &c., to suit our appetite. We
have, indeed, not served a hard master. I am quite
ashamed when I still, sometimes, find my heart dissatis-
fied, or, at least, not grateful as it ought to be.
December 17. This evening brother Craik and I took
tea with a family, of whom five have been brought to
the knowledge of the Lord through our instrumentality.
[When we took tea with them again, about a twelvemonth
afterwards, the number had increased to seven.] As an
encouragement to brethren who may desire to preach the
Gospel in a language not their own, I would mention that
the first member of this family who was converted, came
merely out of curiosity to hear my foreign accent, some
words having been mentioned to her which I did not pro-
nounce properly. Scarcely had she entered the chapel,
when she was led to see herself a sinner. Her intention
had been, to stay only a few minutes. But she felt her-
self as if bound to the seat whilst I was speaking, and re-
mained to the close of the meeting. She then went
hastily home, instead of pursuing her pleasures, washed
the paint off her face, stayed at home that Lord's day, till
the meeting began again, and from that day was truly
converted. Having found the Lord, she entreated her
brothers and sisters to go to hear the Gospel preached,
who, in doing so, were likewise converted. May my dear
missionary brethren always be mindful that the Lord can
bless a few broken sentences, however badly the words
are pronounced, as a means in the conversion of sinners'
December 31, 1833. In looking over my journal, I
find:—I. That at least 260 persons (according to the
number of names we have marked down, but there have
been many more,) have come to converse with us about
A.D. 1833.] 105
the concerns of their souls. Out of these, 153 have been
added to us in fellowship these last eighteen months, 60
of whom have been brought to the knowledge of the Lord
through our instrumentality. Besides these 60, five have
fallen asleep before they were received into communion.
In addition to these, there are many among the inquirers
and candidates for fellowship, whom we have reason to
believe God has given to us as seals to our ministry in
this city. Some also were converted through our instru-
mentality who are in fellowship with other churches in
this city. I have a two-fold reason for mentioning the
degree in which God has been pleased to bless our labours.
In the first place, it is a plain evidence that God’s own
leading brought us to Bristol; and, secondly, that the
simple way in which we preach is owned by God.
II. In looking over the Lord’s dealings with me as to
temporal things, I find that he has sent me, during the
past year;--
1. In freewill offerings through the
boxes, as my part . . . . . fºlö2 14, 5}
2. Presents in money given to me . . 25 1 3
3. Presents in clothes and provisions,
worth at least . . . . . . . 20 0 0
Altogetherfrom the brethrenin Bristol 197 15 8}
4. A brother sent me, from a distance
of several thousand miles . . . 60 0 0
5. We live free of rent, which is worth
for our part . . . . . . . 10 00
*mºms
£267 15 8+
It is just now four years since I first began to trust in
the Lord alone for the supply of my temporal wants.
My little all I then had, at most worth 100l. a year, I
gave up for the Lord, having then nothing left but about
5l. The Lord greatly honoured this little sacrifice, and
he gave me, in return, not only as much as I had given
up, but considerably more. For during the first year, he
sent me already, in one way or other, (including what
came to me through family connexion) about 130l.
Turing the second year, 1517. 18s. 8d. During the third
year, 1957. 3s. Duriug this year, 2671. 15s. 8%d. The
106 [A.D. 1834
following points require particular notice:—1. During
the last three years and three months I never have asked
any one for any thing; but, by the help of the Lord, I
have been enabled at all times to bring my wants to him,
and he graciously has supplied them all. And thus, the
Lord helping me, I hope to be enabled to go on to the
last moment of my life. 2. At the close of each of these
four years, though my income has been comparatively
great, I have had only a few shillings, or nothing at all
left; and thus it is also to-day, by the help of God. , 8.
During the last year a considerable part of my income has
come from a distance of several thousand miles, from a
brother whom I never saw. 4. Since we have been
obliged to discontinue the giving away bread to about 50
poor people every day, on account of our neighbours, our
income has not been, during the second part of this year,
nearly so great, scarcely one-half as much, as during the
first part of it; as if the Lord would thereby show us,
that when the calls upon us are many, he is able to send
in accordingly. Observe this
January 1, 1834. It seemed well to brother Craik and
me, to have an especial public meeting for thanksgiving
to the Lord, for his many mercies towards us since we
have been in Bristol, and for the great success which it
has pleased him to grant to our labours, and also for con-
fession of our sinfulness and unworthiness, and to entreat
him to continue his goodness towards us. Accordingly,
we met last evening, and continued together from seven
o'clock till half-past twelve. About four hundred indi-
viduals, or more, met with us on the occasion.
January 3. This evening, from six to a quarter past
ten, we conversed with inquirers. After we had seen
twelve, we had to send away six. There were several
fresh cases of conversion among them. The work of the
Lord is still going on among us. One of the individuals,
who has lately been brought to the knowledge of the
truth, used to say in his unconverted state, when he was
tempted not to go to the chapel,-I will go; the Lord
may bless me one day, and soften my hard heart.”—His
expectation has not come to nothing.
January 9. Brother Craik and I have preached during
these eighteen months, once a month, at Brislington, a
village near Bristol, but have not seen any fruit of our
A.D. 1834.] 107
labours there. This led me, to-day, very earnestly to pray
to the Lord for the conversion of sinners in that place.
I was also, in the chapel, especially led to pray again
about this, and asked the Lord in particular that he
would be pleased to convert, at least, one soul this even-
ing, that we might have a little encouragement. I
preached with much help, and I hope there has been good
done this evening. [The Lord did according to my re-
quest. There was, that evening, a young man brought
to the knowledge of the truth.]
January 13. The Lord verified in our experience the
truths which I had preached last night in speaking on—
“Hast thou not made an hedge about him, and about his
house, and about all that he hath, on every side P’’ Job
i. 10. Thieves attempted to break into Gideon Chapel.
They had broken it open, but were either smitten with
blindness, so as not see a certain door which had been
left unlocked, or were disturbed before accomplishing
their design; for there was nothing missing.
January 14. I was greatly tried by the difficulty of
fixing upon a text, from which to º, on the morning
of October 20, and at last preached without enjoyment.
To-day I heard of a NINTH instance in which this very
sermon has been blessed. May my brethren in the ministry
of the word be encouraged by this to go quietly, yet
prayerfully, forward in the work of the Lord!
January 31. This evening a Dorcas Society was formed
among the sisters in communion with us, but not accord-
ing to the manner in which we found one when we came
to Bristol; for as we have dismissed all teachers from the
Sunday School who were not real believers, so now believ-
ing females only will meet together to make clothes for
the poor. The being mixed up with unbelievers had not
only proved a barrier to spiritual conversation among the
sisters, but must have been also injurious to both parties
in several respects. One sister, now united to us in
fellowship, acknowledged that the being connected with
the Dorcas Society, previous to her conversion, had been,
in a measure, the means of keeping her in security; as
she thought, that, by helping on such like things, she
might gain heaven at last. Oh that the saints in faithful
love, according to the word of God, (2 Cor. vi. 14–18)
108 [A.D. 1834.
might be more separated, in all spiritual matters, from un-
believers, and not be unequally yoked together with them 1
February 12. I prayed little, read little of the word,
and laboured little to-day. On the whole an unprofitable
day. May the Lord in mercy give me fervency of spirit !
February 19. Brother Craik preached this evening on
Mark iv. 30–41, and was enabled to give out precious
truths. Oh that I did feed more upon them! For several
weeks I have had very little real communion with the
Lord. I long for it. I am cold. I have little love to
the Lord. But I am not, yea I cannot be satisfied with
such a state of heart. Oh that once more I might be
brought to fervency of spirit, and that thus it might con-
tinue with me for ever! I long to go home that I may be
with the Lord, and that I may love him with all my heart.
I fear that the Lord will chastise me at the time of my
dear wife’s confinement. Lord Jesus, take thy miserable
sinful servant soon to thyself, that I may serve thee
better! Within the last week I have repeatedly sct out,
as it were, afresh; but soon, very soon, all has come again
to nothing. The Lord alone can help me. Oh that it might
please him to bring me into a more spiritual state!
Pebruary 20. By the mercy of God I was to-day
melted into tears on account of my state of heart. Oh that
it might please the Lord to bring me into a more spiritual
state! February 21. Through the help of the Lord I
am rather in a better state of heart than for some time
past.—I was led this morning to form a plan for establish-
ing, upon scriptural principles, an Institution for the
spread of the Gospel at home and abroad. I trust this
matter is of God.—This evening we had again, from six
to half-past ten, a meeting with inquirers. The work of
the Lord is going on among us as much as ever. Oh that
our hearts might overflow with gratitude! Even after we
were worn out to the utmost, we could not see all, but
had to send away several individuals.
February 25. The inquirers were so many yesterday,
that, though we conversed more than four hours with them,
we had to appoint another meeting for to-day, and saw
again several from two till five. I was led again this day
to pray about the forming of a new Missionary Institution,
and felt still more confirmed that we should do so.

A.D. 1834.] 109
[Some readers may ask, why we formed a new Institu-
tion for the spread of the Gospel, and why we did not
unite with some of the religious societies, already in
existence, seeing that there are several Missionary—
Bible—Tract—and School-Societies. I give, therefore,
our reasons, in order to show, that nothing but the desire
to maintain a good conscience led us to act as we have
done. For as, by the grace of God, we acknowledged the
word of God as the only rule of action for the disciples of
the Lord Jesus, we found, in comparing the then existing
religious Societies with the word of God, that they
departed so far from it, that we could not be united with
them, and yet maintain a good conscience. I only men-
tion here the following points.
1, The end which these religious societies propose to
themselves, and which is constantly put before their mem-
bers, is, that the world will gradually become better and
better, and that at last the whole world will be converted.
To this end, there is constantly reference made to the
passage in Habakkuk ii. 14, “For the earth shall be filled
with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord, as the waters
cover the sea;” or the one in Isaiah xi. 9, “For the earth
shall be full of the knowledge of the Lord, as the waters
cover the sea.” But that these passages can have no
reference to the present dispensation, but to the one
which will commence with the return of the Lord, that
in the present dispensation things will not become spirit-
ually better, but rather worse, and that in the present
dispensation it is not the whole world that will be con-
verted, but only a people gathered out from among the
Gentiles for the Lord, is clear from many passages of
the divine testimony, of which I only refer to the following:
Matth. xiii. 24–30, and verse 36–43., 2 Tim. iii. 1–13.,
Acts xv. 14.
A hearty desire for the conversion of sinners, and
earnest prayer for it to the Tord, is quite scriptural; but
it is unscriptural to expect the conversion of the whole
world. Such an end we could not propose to ourselves in
the service of the Lord.
2, But that which is worse, is, the connexion of those
religious societies with the world, which is completely con-
trary to the word of God (2 Cor. vi. 14–18). In temporal
things the children of God need, whilst they remain here
L
ILO [A.D. 1834.
on earth, to make use of the world; but when the work to
be done requires, that those who attend to it should be
possessed of spiritual life (of which unbelievers are utterly
destitute), the children of God are bound, by their loyalty
to their Lord, entirely to refrain from association with the
unregenerate. But alas! the commexion with the world is
but too marked in these religious societies; for every one
who pays a guinea, or, in some societies, half-a-guinea, is
considered as a member. Although such an individual
may live in sin; although he may manifest to every one
that he does not know the Lord Jesus; if only the guinea
or the half-guinea be paid, he is considered a member, and
has a right as such to vote. Moreover, whoever pays a
larger sum, for instance, £10, or £20. can be, in many
societies, a member for life, however openly sinful his life
should be for the time, or should become afterwards.
Surely, such things ought not to be!
3. The means which are made use of in these religious
societies, to obtain money for the work of the Lord, are
also, in other respects unscriptural; for it is a most com-
mon case to ask the unconverted for money, which even
Abraham would not have done (Genesis xiv. 21—24):
and how much less should we do it, who are not only for-
bidden to have fellowship with unbelievers in all such
matters (2 Cor. vi. 14–18), but who are also in fellow-
ship with the Father and the Son, and can therefore
obtain everything from the Lord which we possibly can
need in his service, without being obliged to go to the
unconverted world! How altogether differently the first
disciples acted, in this respect, we learn from 3 John 7.
4. Not merely, however, in these particulars is there a
connexion with the world in these religious societies; but
it is not a rare thing for even Committee Members (the
individuals who manage the affairs of the societies) to be
manifestly unconverted persons, if not open enemies to
the truth ; and this is suffered because they are rich, or
of influence, as it is called.
5. It is a most common thing to endeavour to obtain
for patrons and presidents of these societies, and for chair-
men at the public meetings, persons of rank or wealth, to
attract the public. Never once have I known a case of a
Poor, but very devoted, wise, and experienced servant of
Christ being invited to fill the chair at such public meet-
A.D. 1834.] 111
ings. Surely, the Galilean fishermen, who were apostles,
or our Lord himself, who was called the carpenter, would
not have been called to this office, according to these
principles. These things ought not so to be among the
disciples of the Lord Jesus, who should not judge with
reference to a person’s fitness for service in the Church of
Christ by the position he fills in the world, or by the
wealth he possesses!
6, Almost all these societies contract debts, so that it
is a comparatively rare case to read a Report of any of
them, without finding that they have expended more than
they have received, which, however, is contrary both to
the spirit and to the letter of the New Testament.
(Rom. xiii. 8.)
Now, although brother Craik and I were ready, by the
grace of God, heartily to acknowledge that there are not
only many true children of God connected with these
religious societies, but that the Lord has also blessed their
efforts in many respects, notwithstanding the existence of
these and other principles and practices which we judged
to be unscriptural; yet it appeared to us to be his will,
that we should be entirely separate from these societies,
(though we should be considered as singular persons, or
though it should even appear that we despised other
persons, or would elevate ourselves above them), in order
that, by the blessing of God, we might direct the atten-
tion of the children of God in these societies to their un-
scriptural practices; and we would rather be entirely
unconnected with these societies than act contrary to the
Holy Scriptures. We therefore separated entirely from
them, although we remained united in brotherly love with
individual believers belonging to them; and would by no
means judge them for remaining in connexion with them,
if they do not see that such things are contrary to Scrip-
ture. But seeing them to be so ourselves, we could not
with a clear conscience remain. After we had thus gone
on for some time, we considered that it would have an
injurious tendency upon the brethren among whom we
laboured, and also be at variance with the spirit of the
Gospel of Christ, if we did nothing at all for Missionary
objects, the circulation of the Holy Scriptures, Tracts, etc.,
and we were therefore led for these and other reasons, to
do something for the spread of the Gospel at home and
L 2
112 [A.D. 1834.
abroad, however small the beginning might be. This was
the origin of the Institution, of which the following part
of my Narrative speaks.]
March 5. This evening, at a public meeting, brother
Craik and I stated the principles on which we intend to
carry on the institution which we propose to establish for
the spread of the Gospel at home and abroad. There
was nothing outwardly influential, either in the number
of people present, or in our speeches. May the Lord
graciously be pleased to grant his blessing upon the insti-
tution, which will be called “The Scriptural Knowledge
Institution* for Home and Abroad.”
I. THE PRINCIPLES OF THE INSTITUTION.
1. We consider every Believer bound, in one way or
other, to help the cause of Christ, and we have Scriptural
warrant for expecting the Tord’s blessing upon our work
of faith and labour of love: and although, according to
Matt. xiii. 24–43, 2 Tim. iii. 1–13, and many other
passages, the world will not be converted, before the
coming of our Lord Jesus, still, while he tarries, all Scrip-
tural means ought to be employed for the ingathering of
the elect of God.
2. The Lord helping us, we do not mean to seek the
patronage of the world; i. e. we never intend to ask uncon-
verted persons of rank or wealth to countenance this
Institution, because this, we consider, would be disho-
nourable to the Lord. In the name of our God we set up
our banners, Ps. xx. 5; he alone shall be our Patron, and
if he helps us we shall prosper, and if he is not on our
side, we shall not succeed.
3. We do not mean to ask unbelievers for money
(2 Cor. vi. 14–18); though we do not feel ourselves
warranted to refuse their contributions, if they of their
own accord should offer them. Acts xxviii. 2—10.
* At the beginning the name was, “The Scriptural Knowledge
Society for Home and Abroad;” but as the Institution was never a
Society, in the common sense of the word, there being nothing 1ike
membership, voting, a committee, &c., it appeared afterwards better
to alter the name as above stated, for the sake of avoiding mistakes.
I mention, moreover, that in this fifth edition the Institution is spoken
of in the way in which it is now existing, without further notice of the
alterations which have been made since its establishment on March 5,
1834, as its original character is substantially the same.
A.D. 1834.] 113
4. We reject altogether the help of unbelievers in
managing or carrying on the affairs of the Institution.
2 Cor. vi. 14—18.
5. We intend never to enlarge the field of labour by
contracting debts, (Rom. xiii. 8,) and afterwards appealing
to the Church of Christ for help, because this we consider
to be opposed both to the letter and the spirit of the New
Testament; but in secret prayer, God helping us, we shall
carry the wants of the Institution to the Lord, and act
according to the means that God shall give.
6. We do not mean to reckon the success of the Insti-
tution by the amount of money given, or the number of
Bibles distributed, &c., but by the Lord’s blessing upon
the work, (Zech. iv. 6); and we expect this, in the
proportion in which he shall help us to wait upon him in
prayer.
7. While we would avoid aiming after needless singu-
larity, we desire to go on simply according to Scripture,
without compromising the truth; at the same time thank-
fully receiving any instruction which experienced Be-
lievers, after prayer, upon Scriptural ground, may have
to give us concerning the Institution.
II. THE OBJECTS OF THE INSTITUTION ARE:
1. To assist Day-Schools, Sunday-Schools, and Adult-
Schools, in which instruction is given upon Scriptural
principles, and, as far as the Lord may give the means,
and supply us with suitable teachers, and in other re-
spects make our path plain, to establish Schools of this
kind. With this we also combine the putting of poor
children to such Day-Schools.
a. By Day-Schools upon Scriptural principles, we
understand Day-Schools in which the teachers are godly
persons,—in which the way of salvation is scripturally
pointed out, and in which no instruction is given opposed
to the principles of the gospel. -
b. Sunday-Schools, in which all the teachers are be-
lievers, and in which the Holy Scriptures alone are the
foundation of instruction,-are such only as the Institu-
tion assists with the supply of Bibles, Testaments, &c.;
for we consider it unscriptural, that any persons, who do
I, 3
114 [A.D. 1834.
not profess to know the Lord themselves, should be
allowed to give religious instruction.
c. The Institution does not assist any Adult-School
with the supply of Bibles, Testaments, Spelling Books,
&c., except the teachers are believers.
2. To circulate the Holy Scriptures.
We sell Bibles and Testaments to poor persons at a
reduced price. But while we, in general, think it better
that the Scriptures should be sold, and not given altoge-
ther gratis, still, in cases of extreme poverty, we think it
right to give, without payment, a cheap edition.
3. The third object of this Institution is to aid Mission-
ary efforts.
We desire to assist those Missionaries whose proceed-
ings appear to be most according to the Scriptures.
It is proposed to give such a portion of the amount of
the donations to each of the fore-mentioned objects, as
the Lord Inay direct; but if none of the objects should
claim a more particular assistance, to lay out an equal
portion upon each ; yet so, that if any donor desires to
give for one of the objects exclusively, the money shall
be appropriated accordingly.
March 7. To-day we have only one shilling left. Many
times also in Bristol our purse has been either empty or
nearly so, though we have not been brought quite so low
as it regards provisions, as was sometimes the case at
Teignmouth. This evening, when we came home from
our work, we found a brother, our tailor, waiting for us,
who brought a new suit of clothes both for brother Craik
and me, which a brother, whose name was not to be men-
tioned, had ordered for us. March 8. Our brother brought
us this evening also, from the same friend, a new hat for
each of us. - -
March 10. Some time since, a brother who had been
brought to the knowledge of the Lord through our in-
strumentality, having been previously guilty of habitual
drunkenness and other open sins, requested with tears
our prayers on behalf of his wife, who, like himself for-
merly, was still given to drinking, and who grew worse
and worse. About ten days, after he had spoken to us,
A.D. 1834.] . 115
it pleased God to begin a work of grace in her heart, in
answer to the many prayers of her husband, and this
evening she was added to us in fellowship. There have
come many instances before us, since we have been in
Bristol, in which unbelieving partners have been given to
believing ones, in answer to their prayers; yea, even such
as had threatened to murder their wives, or to leave them,
if they would still continue to go to our chapels.
March 19. This afternoon at five, my wife was in much
pain, which she shortly afterwards considered as the token
of her hour being near. I therefore set off to call in a
sister, and then I went for the nurse, and my wife's sis-
ter, and our servant, who were at Clifton. The Lord
having graciously speeded all this, I went to Bethesda
Chapel, where I had to preach shortly after. I thought
it better to spend the few minutes, which I had before
preaching, in prayer for my wife, than to return home
again, as I should have had to set off directly afterwards;
believing that my mind would be thus more quiet and
calm, and that I also might thus help my dearest wife
much more effectually. The Lord most graciously kept
me from excitement and anxiety, so that I went in peace,
preached in peace, and walked home in peace, looking up
to Jesus to prepare me for all that might await me, as I
remembered but too well the two first times of my wife’s
confinement. I might have asked brother Craik to preach,
and have gone home, but I thought it more honouring
the Lord to do his work. In walking home, the following
words were a particular refreshment to me:—
Make you his service your delight,
Your wants shall be his care.
When I came home, I heard the joyful news that all
was over, and that my dear Mary had been delivered at
twenty minutes past eight of a little boy. Observe 1 1. The
Lord graciously sent the medical attendant and the nurse
(the latter nearly three miles off) in the right time. , 2.
The Lord put it into my heart to honour him, by prefer-
ring the care of his house to that of my own, and thus he
lovingly spared me three painful hours. May he be pleased
to give me grace more than ever to love and serve him
March 31. To-day the brethren and sisters in commu-
116 [A.D. 1834.
nion at Bethesda dined together, having been invited by a
sister; and in the evening the churches of Gideon and
Bethesda took tea together. Both times were refreshing
seasons. At dinner we were together from one till half-
past three, at tea from five till nine. Both times we
prayed repeatedly, sang hymns, read a little of the word,
and several brethren spoke of the Lord’s dealings with
them.
April 3. To-day I have had again much reason to see
how weak I am, and how prone to give way to every sin,
if I am not kept by God. May he have mercy upon me,
and keep me from bringing an open disgrace upon his
holy name ! O wretched man that I am
April 14. Brother and sister Craik and ourselves have
been living together hitherto; but now, as the Lord has
given to them one child, and to us two, and there are but
six rooms in our house, so that of late dear brother Craik
and I have had repeatedly to go to another house to be
uninterrupted; we came at Jast to the conclusion, that it
would be better for our souls and the Lord’s work that
we should separate. April 15. To-day I received from
several sisters £25. towards furnishing a house.
April 23. Yesterday and to-day I had asked the Lord
to send us 20!, that we might be able to procure a larger
stock of Bibles and Testaments than our small funds of
the Scriptural Knowledge Institution would allow us to
purchase; and this evening a sister, unasked, promised to
give us that sum, adding that she felt a particular pleasure
in circulating the Holy Scriptures, as the simple reading
of them had been the means of bringing her to the know-
ledge of the Lord.
April 26. We have repeatedly conversed about the name
which we should give to our babe; but being unsettled
about it, and considering that in all our ways we ought to
acknowledge the Lord, I gave myself to-day to prayer
concerning this matter, and the name Elijah, about which
I never had thought, was particularly, whilst praying,
impressed on my mind, and therefore we intend to name
the child Elijah, i.e. my God is Jah, Jehovah. May the
Lord in mercy grant Elijah's spirit, and Elijah's blessing
to our little one !
May 4. To-day 15l. more was given to me towards
furnishing a house. Thus the Lord has now graciously

A.D. 1834.] 117
supplied our need in this particular also. May 13. To-day
2l. more was given to us towards furnishing the house,
and also some carpet. May 15. To-day we moved into
our house, having lived nearly two years with brother and
sister Craik.
June 4. To-day a sister called on me, and I felt irritated
at her staying, after having given her to understand that
I had but a few minutes time. I sinned thus against the
Lord. Help thou me, blessed Jesus, in future!
June 8. Lord’s day. I obtained no text yesterday,
notwithstanding repeated prayer and reading of the word.
This morning I awoke with these words:—“My grace is
sufficient for thee.” As soon as I had dressed myself, I
turned to 2 Cor. xii. to consider this passage; but in doing
so, after prayer, I was led to think that I had not been
directed to this portion for the sake of speaking on it, as
I at first thought, and I therefore followed my usual
practice in such cases, i. e. to read on in the Scriptures
where I left off last evening. In doing so, when I came
to Heb. xi. 13–16, I felt that this was the text. Having
prayed, I was confirmed in it, and in a few minutes the
Lord was pleased to open this passage to me. I preached
on it with great enjoyment, both at Gideon and at Be-
thesda, particularly in the evening at Bethesda. This
help was evidently from God. May he fill my heart with
gratitude, and encourage me by this, to trust in him for
the future I now understand why those words, “My
grace is sufficient for thee,” were brought to my mind
when I awoke this morning.—[It pleased God, as I have
heard since, greatly to bless what I said on that passage,
and at least one soul was brought through it to the Lord.]
June 25. These last three days I have had very little
real communion with God, and have therefore been ver
weak spiritually, and have several times felt irritability of
temper. May God in mercy help me to have more secret
prayerſ—Let none expect to have the mastery over his
inward corruptions in any degree, without going in his
weakness again and again to the Lord for strength. Nor
will prayer with others, or conversing with the brethren,
make up for secret prayer, for I had been engaged in
both repeatedly, during the three previous days, as my
journal shows.
June 26. I was enabled, by the grace of God, to rise
early, and I had nearly two hours in prayer before break-
118 [A.D. 1834.
fast. I feel now this morning more comfortable. May
God in mercy help me to walk before him this day, and
to do his work, and may he keep me from all evil!
July 5. The Lord very mercifully kept us to-day from
a great calamity, the apron of our servant, a sister, having
caught fire; but the fire was extinguished, and she was
kept from being burned
July 11. I have prayed much about a master for a boys'
school, to be established in connexion with our little In-
stitution. Eight have applied for the situation, but none
seemed to be suitable. Now at last the Lord has given
us a brother, who will commence the work.-The Lord
allowed us to call upon him many times before he
answered, but at last he granted our request.
July 13, To-day we finished reading through the Scrip-
tures, at family prayer, the second time, since we came to
Bristol, which is little more than two years. I mention
this circumstance to show how often we may read through
the whole of the Scriptures, though we should read but
little every day, if we go regularly onward.
August 18. To-day brother Craik and I engaged a
sister to be governess of another girls’ school, which we
intend to establish, in dependance upon the Lord for
supplies. August 27. I had prayed repeatedly, and had
read ten chapters of the word to get a text, but obtained
none, and had to go this evening to the chapel without
knowing on what portion of his Holy Word the Lord
would have me to speak. At the commencement of the
meeting I was directed to Lament. iii. 22–26, on which
I spoke with much assistance and enjoyment.
September 18. A brother, a tailor, was sent to mea-
sure me for new clothes. My clothes are again getting old,
and it is therefore very kind of the Lord to provide thus.
September 25. A brother sent me a new hat to-day.
October 9. Our little Institution, established in depend-
ance upon the Lord, and supplied by him with means, has
now been seven months in operation, and through it have
been benefited with instruction,-1. In the Sunday-
School, about 120 children. 2. In the Adult-School,
about 40 adults. 3. In the two Day-Schools for boys,
and the two Day-Schools for girls, 209 children, of whom
54 have been entirely free; the others pay about one-
third of the expense. There have been also circulated
482 Bibles, and 520 New Testaments. Lastly, 57l. has
A.D. 1834.] 119
been spent to aid missionary exertions. The means which
the Lord has sent us, as the fruit of many prayers, during
these seven months, amount to 1671. 10s. 0%d. -
October 28. This afternoon brother Craik and I took
tea with seven brethren and sisters, whom the Lord has
brought to a knowledge of himself through our instru-
mentality, within the last two years; all but one belong-
ing to the same family. We heard there a most affecting
account of a poor little orphan boy, who for some time
attended one of our schools, and who seems there, as far
as we can judge, to have been brought to a real concern
about his soul, through what I said concerning the tor-
ments of hell, and who some time ago was taken to the
poor-house some miles out of Bristol. He has expressed
great sorrow that he can no longer attend our school and
ministry. May this, if it be the Lord's will, lead me to
do something also for the supply of the temporal wants of
poor children, the pressure of which has occasioned this
poor boy to be taken away from our school!
November 1. To-day, our means being completely gone,
we had them supplied in the following manner:—some
time since some silver spoons were given to us, which we
never used, from the consideration, that for servants of
Christ it was better, for the sake of example, to use cheaper
ones, and for that reason we had sold our plate at Teign-
mouth. Yet up to this day those spoons remained unsold.
But now, as we wanted money, we disposed of them, con-
sidering that the kind giver would not be displeased at our
doing so to supply our need.
November 4. I spent the greater part of the morning
in reading the word and in prayer, and asked also for our
daily bread, for we have scarcely any money left.—We
obtained to-day two large school-rooms, which we much
needed. Thus the Lord graciously helps us concerning
the Institution, and gives us faith to go forward in the
work, enlarging the field more and more, (though we have
but little money) yet so that we do not contract debts.
November 5. I spent almost the whole of the day in
prayer and reading the word. I prayed also again for the
supply of our own temporal wants, but the Lord has not as
yet appeared. Still my eyes are up to him. November 8.
Saturday. The Lord has graciously again supplied our
temporal wants during this week, though at the commence-
ment of it we had but little left. I have prayed much this
120 [A.D. 1834.
week for money, more than any other week, as far as Ire-
member, since we have been in Bristol. The Lord has not
answered our prayers by causing means to be sent in the
way of a gift, but has supplied us through our selling what
we did not need, or by our being paid what was owed to us.
December 10. To-day we found that a departed bro-
ther had left both to brother Craik and me 12!. Tecem-
ber 31, 1834.—I. Since brother Craik and I have been
labouring in Bristol, 227 brethren and sisters have been
added to us in fellowship. We found 68 believers in the
church at Gideon, so that now the whole number would
be 295, had there been no changes, but it is only 257;
for twelve have fallen asleep; six have left Bristol; twelve
have left the churches during the two years and six months,
but are still in Bristol; eight are under church discipline,
respecting some of whom, however, we hope that they
may be soon restored to communion. Of those 257, there
belong 125 to Bethesda church, and 132 to Gideon church.
Out of the 227 who have been added to us, 103 have been
converted through our instrumentality, and many have
been brought into the liberty of the Gospel, or reclaimed
from backsliding. Forty-seven young converts are at
Gideon, and fifty-six at Bethesda. Considering that some
have fallen asleep who never were in communion with us,
and yet converted through our instrumentality; and that
some are united to other churches in and out of Bristol;
and that many are now standing as candidates for fellow-
ship, of those who have been given to us in this city, as
seals to our ministry; the number added may be only one-
half, or two-thirds of the real number. May the Lord fill
our hearts with gratitude, for having thus condescended
to use us. II. The income which the Lord has given me
during this year is:—
1. My part of the freewill offerings
through the boxes . . . . . £135 13 2+
2. Money given to me by saints in and
out of Bristol . . . . . . 92 7 6
Altogether . . # 228 0 8+
3. Besides this, many articles in pro-
visions, clothing, and furniture,
worth to us about . . . . . 60 0 0
A.D. 1835.] 121
January 1, 1835. We had last evening an especial
prayer-meeting of the two churches, and any other persons
that chose to attend, for the sake of praising the Lord for
all his many mercies which we have received during the
past year, and to ask him to continue to us his favour
during this year also. It was open to any of the brethren
to pray, as they felt disposed, and eighteen did so, as I
afterwards reckoned. We continued in prayer and praise,
mixed with singing, reading the word, and exhortation,
from seven in the evening till one in the morning.
January 13. From ten to one in the first part of the day,
and from six to half-past eight this evening, Ivisited, from
house to house, the people living in Orange Street, and
saw in this way the families living in nine houses, to
ascertain whether any individuals wanted Bibles, whether
they could read, whether they wished their children to be
put to our Day-Schools or Sunday-School, with the view
of helping them accordingly. This afforded opportunities
to converse with them about their souls. In this way I
sold eight Bibles and two Testaments at reduced prices,
and gave away one Testament; engaged one woman as an
adult scholar, one boy as a day scholar; and spoke besides
this to about thirty people about their souls. January 15.
This morning, from ten to one, I went again from house
to house in Orange Street. I visited nine houses, sold a
Bible and Testament at reduced prices, and engaged a few
children for the schools, and conversed with fifteen persons
about their souls. I should greatly delight in being fre-
quently engaged in such work, for it is a most important
one; but our hands are so full with other work, that we
can do but little in this way. January 17. To-day brother
Groves arrived from the East Indies. One reason of his
coming to England is, to go to Germany, to obtain mis-
sionary brethren for the East Indies, having reason to
believe that he will find them there; and he asked me,
on account of my acquaintance with the language, to ac-
company him, that thus, through me, he may be enabled
to judge about the state of the brethren, and to commu-
nicate to them what he thinks needful for them to know.
This is a most important work. May the Lord direct me
in this matter, and make me to act according to his will!—
I received again to-day, after prayer respecting the funds,
10!, for the Scriptural Knowledge Institution. January 21.
Mi
122 [A.D. 1835.
Teceived, in answer to prayer, from an unexpected quarter,
5l. for the Scriptural Knowledge Institution. The Lord
pours in, whilst we seek to pour out. For during the
past week, merely among the poor, in going from house to
house, fifty-eight copies of the Scriptures were sold at
reduced prices, the going on with which is most important,
but it will require much means.
January 28. Ihave, for these several days, again prayed
much to ascertain whether the Lord will have me to go
as a missionary to the East Indies, and I am most willing
to go, if he will condescend to use me in this way.
January 29. I have been greatly stirred up to pray about
going to Calcutta as a Missionary. May the Lord guide
me in this matter! [After all my repeated and earnest
prayer in the commencement of 1835, and willingness on
my part to go, if it were the Lord's will, still he did not
send me.]
February 4, I have been praying repeatedly and
earnestly of late respecting my journey to the Continent.
I desire to go, or not to go, just as the Lord will have it
to be. May he graciously direct me ! I feel the same
about going to India. As a means to ascertain the
Lord's will, I have been reading about the Hindoos,
that I may know more clearly the state in which they are.
May the Lord in mercy stir me up to care more about
their state, whether it be his will that I should labour
personally among them, or not!
February 16. I mentioned this evening, before the
church at Bethesda, as also on the 13th before the church
at Gideon, that I see it the Lord’s will to go to the Con-
tinent, for the sake of assisting brother Groves by my
knowledge of the German language, in conferring with
those who may desire to go out as missionaries. There is
not one believer amongst us who sees any objection to it,
and several have expressed that it seems to be of the Lord,
and that thus we could help, as churches, in the going
forth of missionaries. This is very comforting to me, as
the Lord confirms me still more, through this unanimity,
in its being his will that I should go.
February 25. In the name of the Lord, and in depend-
ance upon him alone for support, we have established a
fifth Day-School for poor children, which to-day has been
opened. We have now two boys' schools, and three girls'
A.D. 1835.] 123
schools. February 26. This afternoon I left Bristol for
the Continent.
February 27. London. This morning I went to the
Alien Office for my passport. On entering the office I
saw a printed paper, in which it is stated that every alien
neglecting to renew, every six months, his certificate of
residence which he receives on depositing his passport,
subjects himself to a penalty of 50l., or imprisonment.
This law I have ignorantly broken ever since I left Lon-
don in 1829. It appeared to me much better to confess
at once that I had ignorantly done so, than now wilfully
break it; trusting in the Lord as it regarded the consequences
of the step. I did so, and the Lord inclined the heart of
the officer with whom I had to do, to pass over my non-
compliance with the law, on account of my having broken it
figmorantly. Having obtained my passport, I found an
unexpected difficulty in the Prussian ambassador refusing
to sign it, as it did not contain a description of my person,
and therefore I needed to prove that I was the individual
spoken of in the passport. This difficulty was not removed
for three days, when, after earnest prayer, through a paper
signed by some citizens of London, to whom I am known,
the ambassador was satisfied. This very difficulty, when
once the Lord had removed it, afforded me cause for
thanksgiving; for I now obtained a new passport, worded
in such a way, that, should I ever need it again, will pre-
vent similar difficulties.
March 3. This evening I preached comfortably in John-
street Chapel, for brother Evans. I never preached in
any place where I so much felt that he who statedly
ministers was more worthy than myself. This feeling led
me to earnest prayer, and the Lord heard and assisted me.
March 7. Dover. Last evening I left London, and
arrived here this morning. The Lord enabled me to con-
fess him before my fellow-passengers. I have had a good
deal of prayer and reading the word in quietness, though
staying in an hotel. March 8. I preached this morning
and evening comfortably in one of the chapels at Dover.
March 9. All this day too we have been obliged to remain
at Dover, the sea being so rough that no packet sails. I
spent the day in writing letters, in reading the word, and
in prayer. We depend entirely upon the Lord as it
regards our movements. This evening we asked the Lord
M 2
124 [A.D. 1835.
twice, unitedly, that he would be pleased to calm the wind
and the waves, and Inow feel quite comfortable in leaving
the matter with him
March 10. The Lord heard our prayer. . We awoke
early in the morning, and found the wind comparatively
calm. We left the hotel before break of day, to go to the
packet. All being in great hurry, on our way towards
the sea, I was separated from brothers G. and Y. I now
lifted up my heart to the Lord, as he generally helps me
to do on such occasions, to direct my steps towards the
boat which went out to meet the packet, and I found it
almost immediately. We had, in answer to prayer, a good
passage. At Calais we obtained our passports, luggage
out of the custom house, and places in the diligence
without difficulty, and left a little after ten in the morning
for Paris. What a blessed thing it is, in all such matters,
to have a Father to go to for help! What a different
thing, also, to travel in the service of the Lord Jesus, from
what it is to travel in the service of the flesh!
March 11. Paris. We arrived here about ten this
evening. March 12. To-day we went about our passports,
and I saw thus a good deal of the best part of Paris.
Blessed be God, my heart is above these things! If ten
years ago, when my poor foolish heart was full of Paris, I
had come here, how should I have been taken up with these
palaces, &c.; but now I look at these things, and my heart
does not care about them. What a difference grace makes!
There were few people, perhaps, more passionately fond of
travelling, and seeing fresh places, and new scenes, than
myself; but now, since, by the grace of God, I have seen
beauty in the Lord Jesus, I have lost my taste for these
things.
March 13. We again found difficulty in obtaining our
passports, arising, probably, from a mistake of the police
officers. May the Lord order this matter so, that it shall
be for our real welfare 1 March 14. By the help of the
Lord we obtained our passports, and brother Groves and
I took our places in the Malle Poste for Strasburg, to
leave to-morrow evening. Brother Y. intends to remain
here for a few days, on account of his health.
March 15. This morning I preached in a little chapel in
Palais Royal. We left Paris this evening at six. March
17. From six o'clock in the evening of the 15th, till this
A.D. 1835.] 125
afternoon at half-past one, when we arrived at Strasburg,
we were continually shut up in the Malle Poste, with the
exception of yesterday morning about seven, and last night
about eleven, when we were allowed half an hour for our
meals. I had refreshing communion with my beloved bro-
ther. This quickest of all conveyances in France carries
only two passengers, and we were thus able freely to con-
verse and to pray together, which was refreshing indeed.
Though we had travelled forty-four hours, yet as we had
soon finished our business at Strasburg, we left this even-
ing, for Basle, trusting in the Lord for strength for the
third night’s travelling. A little after we had started, we
stuck fast in a new road. I lifted up my heart to the
Taord, and we were soon delivered, otherwise the circum-
stance in a cold might, and during a fall of snow, would
have been trying, as we had to get out of the mail. I now
found myself again, after six years, amidst fellow-pas-
sengers who spoke my native language; but alas ! they
spoke not for Christ.
March 18. This afternoon we arrived at Basle, where
we were very kindly received by the brethren. March 23.
Basle. These six days we have received great kindness
from the brethren. The Lord has given me an opportunity
of bringing before several who are already engaged in the
ministry of the word, and before many who intend to give
themselves to this work, many important truths, so that in
these opportunities I have been richly repaid for the
journey. This morning I conversed also with three
brethren, journeymen, who have a desire to give them-
selves to missionary work; but nothing could be decided
now. I awoke very faint, but have been mercifully helped
through the work. Brother Groves intends to go to
Geneva, and I to Tubingen, in order to become acquainted
with a brother, a student, who is likely to go out with
brother Groves as tutor to his sons, and to combine with
this, missionary service.
During my stay at Basle I attended one day a meeting,
at which a venerable pious clergyman expounded the Greek
New Testament to several brethren, who purposed to give
themselves to missionary service. The passage to which
this dear aged brother had then come, in the original of
the New Testament, was 1 Peter iii. 1, 2, which, in our
English translation, reads thus: “Likewise, ye wives, be
M 3
126 [A.D. 1835.
in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not
the word, they also may without the word be won by the
conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste
conversation coupled with fear.” After this aged brother
had expounded the passage, he related a circumstance
which had occurred in his own days, and under his
own eyes, at Basle, which has appeared to me so en-
couraging for those children of God who have unbeliev-
ing relatives, and especially for sisters in the Lord who
have unbelieving husbands; and which, at the same time,
is such a beautiful illustration of 1 Peter iii. 1.; that I
judge it desirable to insert the narrative of this fact
here. I will do so as exactly as I remember it. There
lived at Basle an opulent citizen, whose wife was a
believer, but he himself feared not the Lord. His practice
was, to spend his evenings in a wine-house, where he would
often tarry till eleven, twelve, or even one o'clock. On such
occasions his wife always used to send her servants to bed,
and sat up herself to await the return of her husband.
When at last he came, she used to receive him most kindly,
never reproach him in the least, either at the time or after-
wards, nor complain at all on account of his late hours,
by which she was kept from seasonable rest. Moreover,
if it should be needful to assist him in undressing himself,
when he had drunk to excess, she would do this also in
a very kind and meek way. Thus it went on for a long
time. One evening this gentleman was again, as usual,
in a wine-house, and having tarried there with his merry
companions till midnight, he said to them : “I bet, that
if we go to my house, we shall find my wife sitting up
and waiting for me, and she herself will come to the door
and receive us very kindly; and if I ask her to prepare us
a supper, she will do it at once without the least murmur,
or unkind expression, or look.” His companions in sin did
not believe his statement. At last, however, after some
more conversation about this strange statement, (as it ap-
peared to them,) it was agreed upon they would all go, to
see this kind wife. Accordingly they went, and, after they
had knocked, found the door immediately opened by the
lady herself, and they were all courteously and kindly
received by her. The party having entered, the master of
the house asked his wife to prepare supper for them, which
she, in the meekest way, at once agreed to do; and after
A.D. 1835.] 127
awhile, supper was served by herself, without the least
sign of dissatisfaction, or murmur, or complaint. Having
now prepared all for the company, she retired from the
party to her room. When she had left the party, one of
the gentlemen said: “What a wicked and cruel man you
are, thus to torment so kind a wife.” He then took his
hat and stick, and without touching a morsel of the sup-
per went away. Another made a similar remark and left,
without touching the supper. Thus one after another
left, till they were all gone, without tasting the supper.
The master of the house was now left alone, and the Spirit
of God brought before him all his dreadful wickedness,
and especially his great sins towards his wife; and the
party had not left the house half an hour, before he went
to his wife's room, requested her to pray for him, told her
that he felt himself a great sinner, and asked her forgive-
ness for all his behaviour towards her. From that time
he became a disciple of the Lord Jesus.
Observe here, dear reader, the following points in parti-
cular, which I affectionately commend to your considera-
tion : 1, The wife acted in accordance with 1 Peter iii. 1.
She kept her place as being in subjection, and the Lord
owned it. 2, She reproached not her husband, but meekly
and kindly served him when he used to come home. 3,
She did not allow the servants to sit up for their master,
but sat up herself, thus honouring him as her head and
superior, and concealed also, as far as she was able, her
husband's shame from the servants. 4, In all probability
a part of those hours, during which she had to sit up, was
spent in prayer for her husband, or in reading the word of
God, to gather fresh strength for all the trials connected
with her position. But whether this was the case or not,
it is certain that thus, under similar circumstances, the
time might be spent, and it would then indeed be spent
profitably. 5, Be not discouraged if you have to suffer
from unconverted relatives. Perhaps very shortly the
Lord may give you the desire of your heart, and answer
your prayer for them; but in the mean time seek to com-
mend the truth, not by reproaching them on account of
their behaviour towards you, but by manifesting towards
them the meekness, gentleness, and kindness of the Lord
Jesus Christ.
March 25. Tubingen in Wirtemberg. The day before
128 [A.D. 1835.
yesterday I left Basle in the afternoon. The Lord enabled
me to confess him before a young man and his wife, who
were going to Vienna to increase their riches. What a
mercy that grace has made me to differ, and that I travel
in the service of another master | They listened very
attentively, and were not at all opposed. They also esteem
the people of God, and have been in the habit of meeting
with them. Our parting was very affectionate and solemn,
after I had charged them to care earnestly about the one
thing needful.
I arrived, yesterday morning at six, at Schaffhausen, I
found a brother waiting for me at the post office, a gentle-
man of title, who, having been informed by brethren at
Basle of my arrival, kindly took me to his house for the
two hours I had to stay in that town, to refresh my body
with breakfast, and my soul with communion with the
brethren whom he had invited to meet me. I was in this
town about ten years ago. I was now again within a few
minutes' walk of the fall of the Rhine, which was then
most attractive to me. Now I considered that my time
could be spent much more profitably than by going there.
The little time that I was at Schaffhausen, I received
much information concerning the state of the church in
many parts of the Continent, from a believing physician
and a clergyman; and I also communicated things which,
with God’s blessing, may be profitable. After this I con-
tinued my journey to Tubingen. It was with peculiar
feelings; for all this way I had traversed nearly ten years
ago, to gratify my natural desire for travelling, and now I
went over the same ground in the service of the Lord
Jesus. r
I arrived here this morning at nine, having been
strengthened to travel two nights and a day and a half,
though I left Basle very weak. This morning I saw
brother Gundert, the student of divinity, on whose account
I am here, and spent about three hours in conversation
with him. Afterwards I called on a christian professor
in the university, who received me kindly. This evening
I had a meeting with the believing students, for whom
the Lord gave me a word.
March 26. This morning I rode with brother Gundert
to Stuttgart, both for the sake of seeing more of him, and
also that we might unitedly talk over the matter with his
A.D. 1835.] 129
father, who lives there. I am now staying at the house of
brother Gundert, senior, where I am kindly lodged. I
think brother Gundert, junior, will go to the East Indies.
His father is not only willing to give him up for the
Lord’s sake, but seems to consider it an honour to have a
son to give to the Lord in this way. This evening Iagain
met several brethren, to whom I spoke about the things
of God.
March 30. Halle. From the evening of the 27th till this
afternoon, when I arrived here, I have travelled day and
night, and have been strengthened by the Lord for it. The
whole of this way, several hundred miles, I had gone step
by step before. My thoughts were peculiarly affecting,
as I retraced the mercies which I had experienced at the
hands of God.—The Lord enabled me repeatedly to con-
fess his name before my changing fellow-travellers. A
student spoke to me about the peculiarly good and cheap
wine of Weinheim, near Heidelberg. I told him that
when, years ago, as a student like himself, I came through
that place, I cared about such things, but that now I knew
what was much better than wine.—Yesterday, a French-
man, having heard my testimony for Jesus once or twice,
when the last merry companion had left the coach, quitted
my society, it being too dull for him, and joined himself
to an officer in the army, sitting in the forepart of the
coach. (The coach was divided into the forepart and
inside.) This gave me a blessed and most refreshing
opportunity to pray for about an hour aloud in the coach,
which strengthened and refreshed my soul. It was par-
ticularly kind of the Lord to give me an opportunity of
praying aloud, as, on account of having then already
travelled forty-eight hours uninterruptedly, my body was
too tired to allow me to continue for any length of time
in mental prayer.—Yesterday afternoon, at Eisenach
(situated just under the hill on which stands the decayed
castle, called the Wartburg, where Luther translated the
Holy Scriptures), I saw fearful scenes of profanity. How
has the candlestick been removed l—This afternoon I
reached Halle, where it pleased the Lord to bring me to
the knowledge of himself, having been graciously pre-
served hitherto, though a spring was found broken when I
got out of the mail. I greatly needed rest, but my heart
was too full. I could not sleep. I went first to the
130 [A.D. 1835.
house of the brother, where I was first impressed, and
afterwards I called on my esteemed tutor, professor Dr.
Tholuck, counsellor of the Consistory, who received me,
after seven years’ separation, with his former kindness and
brotherly love. (He made me lodge with him, and gave
thereby a testimony that differences of views, concern-
ing certain parts of God’s truth, ought not to separate
the children of God; for I had written to him my mind
from Bristol two years before.)
March 31. To-day I rode with Dr. Tholuck and two
young brethren to a believing clergyman, living in the
neighbourhood of Halle, where we spent the day. Dr.
Tholuck told me many encouraging things, particularly
this, that several of my former fellow-students, who, at
the time when I was at Halle, knew not the Lord, had
been brought to know him since, and are now labouring
in his vineyard. And further, that certain brethren,
formerly very weak in the faith, had been established, and
are now going on well. May this encourage the heart of
the believing reader still to pray for his unconverted
friends, and may it strengthen him to hope for better days
concerning those of his brethren in the Lord who are
now weak in the faith !
April 1. To-day I saw a clergyman, in whom I recog-
nized an individual who studied at Halle, whilst I was
there, living then in open sin, and who is now, by divine
mercy, pointing sinners to the Lamb of God. In the
evening I went to the large Orphan-house, built, in
dependance on the Lord, by A. H. Franke, to see one of
the classical teachers, who is the son of my father's
neighbour, and whom I had not seen for about fifteen
years. I found him, to the joy of my heart, to be a bro-
ther in the Lord. This evening I spent in the same room
where it pleased the Lord to begin a work of grace in my
heart, with several of the same brethren and sisters with
whom I used to meet seven years ago, and told them of
the Lord’s faithfulness, gentleness, kindness, and forbear-
ance towards me, since I had seen them last. Truly how
good has the Lord been to me since
April 2. This morning I again spent in calling on the
brethren and sisters, being enabled, every where, before
learned and unlearned, to testify about the blessedness of
adhering to the Scriptures as our only guide in spiritual
A.D. 1835.] 181
things. I left Halle this afternoon, having received much
love from the brethren, and rode fifteen miles further, to
a beloved brother and old friend, brother Stahlschmidt at
Sandersleben, who has shown me much kindness even
since I have been in England. I was received with much
love by this brother ared his dear wife, and his man ser-
vant, also, a beloved brother. [This brother (the man
servant) I met twenty-eight years ago at Gnadau, a Mo-
ravian settlement, where I several times spent a few days
for the refreshment of my soul, to which place he also
came, a distance of about forty-five miles, for the same
purpose. He was then living with a farmer, ploughing
his fields, &c. At that time our hearts were knit toge-
ther; for I wish it to be understood by any unconverted
reader, that, whilst I should at one time have looked with
scorn upon such a person, if he had attempted to be fa-
miliar with me, now the love of Jesus, in whom we were
one, filled my heart with love to him, and these outward
distinctions were broken down. In consequence of this
acquaintance, he wrote me several letters to Halle, and I
wrote to him. These letters were particularly refreshing
and spiritual, and therefore I read them to other brethren,
and also to brother Stahlschmidt, a wine merchant. On
account of this, he had a great desire to have brother
Rroll living in his house. The Lord, after a time,
brought it about, and this brother has now, (while this
fifth edition is being printed) been living with him more
than twenty-six years, and is a friend, a brother, and a
most faithful servant to this merchant, so that his consi-
derable business is in a great measure intrusted to him;
and yet he treats his master with all due respect, and
keeps his place as a servant. This latter point is very
important, and brings glory to God. For whilst a believ-
ing master should treat a believing servant with all kind-
ness and brotherly love; yet the believing servant should
with all obedience, with all faithfulness, and particularly
with due respect, treat his believing master or mistress.]
April 3. Sandersleben. To-day I saw several brethren
and sisters, and among others a brother, who is in about
the same state in which he was eight years ago. He has
very little enjoyment, and makes no progress in the things
of God. The reason is, that, against his conscience, he
remains in a calling, which is opposed to the profession of
132 [A.D. 1835.
a believer. We are exhorted in Scripture to abide in our
calling; but only if we can abide in it “with God.”
1 Cor. vii. 24.—This evening a believing clergyman, and
the brethren and sisters of this small town and some
neighbouring villages, were collected together in brother
Stahlschmidt's house, and I spoke to them for two hours
about the things of God, particularly about the way in
which God has led me, since I saw them, and sought to
strengthen their hands in God, and exhorted them to give
themselves fully to the Lord. It was a time of refresh-
ing. Indeed the Lord has greatly refreshed my own soul,
at Basle, or Tubingen, or Stuttgart, or Halle, or else-
where, whenever I have spoken well of his name. The
child of God should make it his particular business to en-
courage sinners to seek after the Lord, and to increase
the faith and love of the brethren, through speaking well
of the name of the Lord.
April 4. I left Sandersleben this morning. My bro-
ther and host acted according to 3 John, 5 and 6, for he
sent me on ten miles in his carriage.
When I arrived at Aschersleben, to which place brother
Stahlschmidt had conveyed me, I had but one station more
to my father's house. On the way I asked the driver
about a certain individual, with whom I studied at Halle,
once a companion with me in open sin. I found that he
is still in the same state. What a difference has grace
made between him and me! Nothing, nothing but grace
has made this difference I, guilty sinner, might now be
still on the same road, and he, in my room, might have
been plucked as a brand out of the fire. But it is not so.
May the Lord help me to love him much, very much, for
his distinguishing grace!—Such feelings I had in particu-
lar this afternoon, when I saw the town before me in
which my father lives, as there are but two in the whole
place, as far as I can find out, who love the Lord. How
different is every thing with me now from what it was
when, as a wicked youth, I used to go to this town, at the
time of my vacation. How truly happy am I now ! How
is my heart now raised above all those things in which I
sought, and also fancied Ifound happiness! Truly all these
things are like bubbles to me now ! My heart is not
here; yea, my heart is not even in England. My heart
is, at least in a measure, in heaven, though I am still
A.D. 1835.] 133
nothing but a poor weak worm. I felt the solemnity and
importance of having once more the privilege of seeing
my aged father. I also felt the importance of being at
the place, where I had spent much of my time in my
youth, and where I had been known as living in sin. M.
desire was, that I might be enabled to walk, the three
days I intended to stay there, as it becomes a servant of
Christ. For this I had been led to prayer before I left
Bristol, and since I have been on the Continent. At last
I arrived at my father's house. How affecting to meet
him once more
April 5. Heimersleben. This afternoon a friend of
my father's called—one who knows not the Lord. After
a few minutes the Lord gave me an opportunity of setting
before him the fundamental truths of the Gospel, and the
joy and comfort they afford, and have afforded to me.
Thus a way was opened to me of stating the truth more
fully than ever I had been able to do before, by word of
mouth, in the presence of my father and brother, without
saying to them “Thou art the man.” I was assisted by
the Lord. May he water the seed sown! This evening
I went to the only two brethren in this little town, thus
to own them as such. It has appeared well to me to call
on none whom I know, else I should be expected to call
on all; and as I see it right to spend but three days here,
I consider that that little time should be wholly given to
my father, as it may be the last time that I shall see him;
yet at the same time I judged that it was well pleasing in
the sight of the Lord, that I should call on these brethren
to strengthen their hands.
When I saw these brethren last, in February, 1829,
two or three more used to meet with them ; but since
then the reproach of the cross has driven the others back
into the world. From that time, these brethren have
scarcely seen a believer, and never hear the Gospel
preached; it was therefore a great joy to them to see me.
They told me that the Lord had blessed my last visit to
them; and having been informed of my coming, they were
prepared to ask me many questions. One of them, Knabe,
about thirty years ago being possessed of property, was
persuaded to lay it out in coal mines. He joined with
two men who spent his property, and after some time
they became bankrupts, so that there was not money
N
134 [A.D. 1835.
enough to pay the workmen and some other creditors,
even after all their goods had been sold. This evening
brother Knabe asked me what he ought to do about the
money which had been left unpaid three and twenty
years; whether he was still under an obligation to pay it,
if he could. My answer was at once that he was, being
in the sight of the Lord still a debtor, though cleared by
the laws of men. He then told me, that some years since
some property was left to him, and that he also, in the
years 1816, 1817, and 1818, when the corn prices were
very high, had laid by some money, and that therefore he
was fully able to pay the debt. He saw immediately that
this was the right way, and said that he would act accord-
ingly. He added that now he saw why he had made so
little progress in divine things. I have learned that this
brother has lately taken two destitute orphans into his
house, whom he entirely supports by the labour of his
hands (he earns his bread by thrashing corn), and that
the people, though they consider him, on account of his
love to the Lord, a weak and foolish person, yet look upon
him with respect.
April 6. I spent this morning in answering questions
which my father put to me about secular things in Eng-
land. This I did for the following reasons:–1. I had
scarcely ever spoken about these things in my letters, in-
deed so little, that my father told me, he had often in-
tended to ask me, whether it was forbidden in England to
send letters abroad about such matters, as I never wrote
about them. I had refrained from doing so, partly, on
account of want of time; and partly, because I had better
things to write about, wishing to direct his mind to the
things of God. 2. Now, however, I spoke on these sub-
jects, because I particularly desired to be as kind, affec-
tionate, and obliging as I conscientiously could, as I con-
sidered that this was the testimony I was especially called
on to give. Formerly I had much pressed the things of
God on him, and not with sufficient tenderness, knowing
not then experimentally the helplessness of the creature.
After it had pleased the Lord to show me the truth more
clearly, in the summer of 1829, I wrote in a different way;
but in the commencement of the year 1833 I felt pressed
in spirit once more, most fully, not so much as a son, but
as a servant of Christ, to write, and to point out to him
A.D. 1835.] 135
minutely his state, showing him the danger of his soul,
the grounds of which I fully laid before him. When this,
as formerly, greatly displeased him, I ceased to speak any
more in this way, and from that time I aimed and still
aim more and more to show him love in action, as it be-
comes a believing son, telling him only how happy I am—
how I am supported under such and such trials—how I
am not caring about certain things as formerly I did—in
what an awful state I was once living, and how God
brought me out of it, and how any sinner, by forsaking
his evil ways, and believing in the Lord Jesus, may be
brought to the same joy and happiness, and what a de-
light it would be to me to meet my father at last in
heaven, &c. Since I have corresponded with him in this
way, things have been very comfortable, though I have
brought as much truth before him as formerly, and though
I have never sent a letter without speaking, comparatively,
much about these things. On the same ground I have
not on this visit spoken directly to my father about the
state of his soul, though he has more than ever heard the
truth from my lips. God has indeed been with me, and
I believe that I have been led by him to pursue this
course. Different, however, has been the way in which I
have dealt with my unconverted brother; for the relation-
ship in which I stand to him is a different one. For this
afternoon, I not only pointed out to him his danger, but
spoke also respecting his sins, and have done so in my
letters, and intend to do so still, if the Lord permit.
This afternoon brother Knabe called on me. He told
me that he had already experienced a trial on account of
his intention to pay the money, as his wife tried to keep
him from it, by endeavouring to persuade him that God
does not require him to do such a thing, as he has taken
two orphan children into his house. He nevertheless is
determined to do it. He saw, however, another difficulty,
which was that when he looked over the papers containing
the names of his creditors, it was found that all but three,
out of about thirty, were dead, and he did not know what
to do concerning them. I told him to go to those places
where his creditors used to live, and he might find, per-
haps, some needy widows and fatherless children, whom
they had left behind; and, if not, he should inquire after
the lawful heirs, and pay the money to them. He saw
N 2
136 [A.D. 1835.
with me, and declared his full intention to do so, what-
ever it might cost, and seemed truly glad that God at
last, through my advice, had delivered him from this bur-
den; for from time to time the matter had pressed on his
conscience that he ought to do it.—I spent this evening
in relating to my father and brother some of the Lord’s
dealings with me in England, particularly how he has
graciously provided for my temporal wants in answer to
prayer, and they both seemed to feel, for the moment at
least, the blessedness of such a life.
April 7. I saw brother Knabe this morning, who is
still determined to pay the money, though tried by his
wife. I exhorted him to steadfastness. I also saw some
persons who called on me to hear about England, for every
one of whom the Lord gave me a word without any effort.
It was especially so last night. A friend of my father, a
Roman Catholic, called, and I was enabled to set the
truths of the gospel before him, with their blessed effects,
without entering upon the Roman Catholic controversy.—
A part of this morning I spent in walking about with my
father to see one of his gardens, and some of his fields,
because I knew it would give him pleasure; and I felt
that I ought in every way to show him kindness and at-
tention, as far as I conscientiously could. To-morrow,
God willing, I intend to leave, and to return to England.
The Lord, in his rich mercy, in answer to my prayer, has
enabled me so to walk before my father, and has also im-
pressed what I have said so far upon his heart, as to cause
him to say to-day, “May God help me to follow your ex-
ample, and to act according to what you have said to me.”
April 9. Celle. Yesterday morning I rode with my
father to Halberstadt, where, with many tears, he sepa-
rated from me. I was alone in the mail, which was a great
comfort to me. It was a solemn time. I found myself
again on the road to Brunswick, which I had traversed
twice in the service of the devil, and now I was travelling
on it in the name of Jesus. I discerned, in passing, the
inn at Wolfenbuttel, from whence I intended to run
away, and where I was arrested. How peculiar were my
feelings! In the evening we reached Brunswick, from
whence we started the same night. During the night I
heard a fearfully wicked, most profligate, infidel, and
scoffing conversation between the conducteur and a
A.D. 1835.] 137
student, and the only testimony I gave was, complete
silence all the time. I arrived here this morning at eight,
and have been here all the morning, as the mail will not
start for Hamburgh until four this afternoon. It has
been far from well with me in my soul to-day. That
awful conversation last night has been spiritual poison to
j How very soon do we, even unconsciously, receive
evil |
April 10. Hamburgh. I arrived here at ten this
morning. April 11. I went on board last night, and at
twelve we sailed. This morning at half-past eleven we
arrived at Cuxhaven, where we cast anchors, on account
of a strong contrary wind. April 13. Though I desired
as much, perhaps, as any of the passengers speedily to
get to the end of our voyage, longing to get back again
to my work in Bristol, and also to my wife and children,
yet I was kept in peace; and whilst some murmured at
the contrary wind, the Lord enabled me to lift up my
heart in prayer that he would calm it, if it were his holy
will, and accordingly, after a delay of about nineteen
hours, we plied again yesterday morning, at seven. At
ten I was taken with sea sickness, from which I had been
kept during my four previous short voyages in answer to
prayer; but this time I on purpose refrained from pray-
ing about it, as I did not know whether it was better for
my health to be sea-sick or not. The sickness continued
the whole of yesterday. To-day I am well. We have
fine and calm weather. I consider it a mercy that the
Lord has allowed me to be sea-sick.
April 15. Bristol. Yesterday at one we landed in
Tondon. In answer to prayer I soon obtained mythings
from the Custom-house, and reached my friends in Chan-
cery Lane a little before two, where I found a letter from
my wife, stating that brother Craik is ill, having an in-
flammation in the wind-pipe, and therefore, humanly
speaking, will be unable to preach for some time. In
consequence of this I started immediately for Bristol,
where I arrived this morning. I found brother Craik
better than I had expected, though completely unable to
attend to the ministry of the word. tº
April 16. To-day brother Craik and I received
111.15s. 9d. each, being a legacy left to us some time
since. We said once or twice to one another, that per-
N 3
138 [A.D. 1835.
haps this money might be paid just at a time when we
much needed it. And so it is just now. May I and all
my brethren leave the management of all our affairs en-
tirely to the Lord, who best knows what is good for us;
and may it be our concern to seek first the kingdom of
God and his righteousness, and all temporal supplies shall
be added to us !
April 25. To-day, my hat being worn out, I had a new
one anonymously sent. This is the sixth hat I have had
successively sent. May 1. I went to see brother Craik,
and found him better, but heard from his medical atten-
dant that he ought not to preach for several months.
May 5. My father-in-law has been for several days very
ill. May 15. Mr. Groves continues very ill. May 29.
This morning brother Craik went into Devonshire for
change of air. -
June 3. To-day we had a public meeting on account
of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution for home and
abroad. It is now fifteen months, since, in dependance
upon the Lord for the supply of means, we have been en-
abled to provide poor children with schooling, circulate
the Holy Scriptures, and aid missionary labours. During
this time, though the field of labour has been continually
enlarging, and though we have now and then been brought
low in funds, the Lord has never allowed us to be obliged
to stop the work. We have been enabled during this time
to establish three day-schools, and to connect with the
Institution two other charity day-schools, which, humanly
speaking, otherwise would have been closed for want of
means. In addition to this, the expenses connected with
a Sunday-school and an adult school have been likewise
defrayed, making seven schools altogether. The number
of the children that have been thus provided with school-
ing, in the day-schools only, amounts to 439. The num-
ber of copies of the Holy Scriptures, which have been
circulated, is 795 Bibles and 753 New Testaments. We
have also sent, in aid of missionary labours in Canada, in
the East Indies, and on the Continent of Europe, 1171.11s.
The whole amount of the free-will offerings put into our
hands for carrying on this work, from March 5, 1834, to
May 19, 1835, is 3637. 12s. 0#d.
June 20. Our father is evidently to-day near his end.
June 22. This morning at two our father died. June 23.
A.D. 1835.] 139
Both our children areill. June 24. Our little boy is very
ill. June 25. The dear little boy is so ill, that I have no
hope of his recovery. The disease is inflammation on the
chest. I spoke this evening comfortably at Gideon, on
Psalm cylv. 1–4, thinking it right that neither the death
of my father-in-law, nor my dying child should keep me
from the Lord’s work. The Lord’s holy will be done
concerning the dear little one. June 26. My prayer last
evening was, that God would be pleased to support my
dear wife under the trial, should he remove the little one;
and to take him soon to himself, thus sparing him from
suffering. I did not pray for the child’s recovery. It
was but two hours after that the dear little one went home.
The eldest and the youngest the Lord has thus removed
from our family in the same week. My dear Mary feels
her loss much, but yet is greatly supported. As to my-
self, I am so fully enabled to realize that the dear infant
is so much better off with the Lord Jesus than with us,
that I scarcely feel the loss at all, and when I weep, I
weep for joy.
June 27. My dear wife is graciously supported. May
the Lord grant that these afflictions may not be lost upon
us! June 28. I preached to-day both times comfortably.
June 29. This morning was the funeral. The remains
of our father and infant were put into the same grave.
July 3. Our taxes are due, and may be called for any
day, and for the first time we have no money to pay them,
as we were obliged, on account of our late afflictions, to
spend the money which we had put by for them. May
the Lord in mercy provide 1 July 6. I was enabled to-
day, by the free-will offerings through the boxes, and by
what I had left, to pay the taxes before they were called
for. How kind of the Lord to answer my prayer so soon |
July 8. This evening I had 57, sent from Weston-super-
Mare. So the Lord has again appeared. May I praise
his holy name for this seasonable help, which came when
I had scarcely any money left 1 July 14. To-day I had
again a suit of new clothes given to me by a brother. My
clothes were much worn and old, and our late funeral
might have given a second reason for having new ones.
But I did not order any, because I had no money to pay
for them, and thought it wrong to contract debts.-A
fresh paper was brought in to-day for taxes, which ought
140 [A.D. 1835.
to have been asked for many months since. May the
Lord give us the means to pay them
July 15. We had again an especial prayer-meeting for
the restoration of brother Craik, who, though well in his
general health, is yet unable to preach, or even to converse
for any length of time. July 18. I have felt for several
days weak in my chest. This weakness has been increas-
ing, and to-day I have felt it more than ever. I have
thought it well to refrain next week from all public
speaking. May the Lord grant that I may be brought
nearer to him through this, for I am not at all in the
state in which I ought to be, and I think sometimes that
our late afflictions have been lost upon me, and that the
Lord will need to chastise me severely.
July 22. The last mentioned taxes were called for this
morning, just after the Lord had sent us 5l., from a dis-
tance of about eighty miles. So the Lord has again of
late, repeatedly, in answer to prayer, sent help. May this
lead us to trust in him for the future 1 July 28. Since
the 14th I have felt unwell, and though sometimes a little
better, on the whole I have been getting worse and worse.
This morning I have seen our medical attendant, who
thinks that all the disease arises from a disordered stomach.
July 31. To-day brother C r, formerly a minister
in the establishment, who came to us a few days since,
began, in connexion with the Scriptural Knowledge In-
stitution, to go from house to house, to spread the truth
as a city missionary. [This was a remarkable interposi-
tion of God. Brother Craik had before this, for some
months, been unable on account of bodily infirmity, to
labour in the work of the schools, the circulation of the
Scriptures, &c., and my own weakness, shortly after bro-
ther C r’s arrival, increased so that I was obliged to
give up the work entirely. How gracious, therefore, of
the Lord, to send brother C r, that thus the work
might go on | Up to July 1837 this beloved brother was
enabled to continue in his work, and thus this little In-
stitution was in a most important way enlarged as it
regards the field of labour.]
August 15. To-day dear brother Craik returned from
T)evonshire, much better in his general health, but not
better as it regards his voice. August 24. I feel very
weak, and suffer more than before from the disease. I am
A.D., 1835.] 141
in doubt whether to leave Bristol entirely for a time. I
have no money to go away for a change of air. I have
had an invitation to stay for a week with a sister in the
country, and I think of accepting the invitation, and
going to-morrow. August 26. To-day I had 5l. given to
me for the eaſpress purpose of using change of air. Aug. 29.
To-day I received another 5l. for the same purpose.
August 30. To-day, for the first Lord’s day since our
arrival in Bristol, I have been kept from preaching through
illness. How mercifully has the Lord dealt in giving me
so much strength for these years! I had another 5l. sent,
to aid me in procuring change of air. How kind is the
Lord in thus providing me with the means for leaving
Bristol! September 2. Went with my family to Portis-
head. September 3 to 5. I read the lives of the English
martyrs at the time of the reformation. My spirit has
been greatly refreshed. May the Lord help me to follow
these holy men as far as they followed Christ Of all
reading, besides that of the Holy Scriptures, which should
be always THE book, THE CHIEF book to us, not merely
in theory, but also in practice, such like books seem to
me the most useful for the growth of the inner man. Yet
one has to be cautious in the choice, and to guard against
reading too much. At such a time as the present, when
my mind and body are too weak for much exertion, as
the study of the word, conversation, writing letters,
or walking, &c., I find it most refreshing to read a few
pages of this kind, though these last six years I have not
read the fifth part, perhaps not the tenth part as much
of other books as of the Holy Scriptures.
September 14. We are still at Portishead. I am but
little better. I am greatly bowed down to-day on account
of my inward corruptions and carnality of heart. When
will God deliver me from this state?! How I long to be
more like him! My present way of living is also a great
trial to me. The caring so much about the body; the
having for my chief employment eating and drinking,
walking, bathing, and taking horse exercise: all this to
which I have not been at all accustomed these six years,
I find to be very trying. I would much rather be again
in the midst of the work in Bristol, if my Lord will con-
descend to use his most unworthy servant.
September 15. As I clearly understood that the per-
142 [A.D. 1835.
son, who lets me his horse, has no license, I saw, that,
being bound as a believer to act according to the laws of
the country, I could use it no longer; and as horse
exercise seems most important, humanly speaking, for
my restoration, and as this is the only horse, which is to
be had in the place, we came to the conclusion to leave
Portishead to-morrow. Immediately after, I received a
kind letter from a brother and two sisters in the Lord,
who live in the Isle of Wight, which contained a fourth
invitation, more pressing than ever, to come and stay with
them for some time. In addition to this, they wrote that
they had repeatedly prayed about the matter, and were
persuaded that I ought to come. This matter has been
to-day a subject for prayer and consideration to us.
September 16. We came this morning to the conclu-
sion to leave Portishead to-day, and that I should go to
the Isle of Wight; but we saw not how my wife and child
and our servant could accompany me, as we had not suffi-
cient money for travelling expenses; and yet this seemed
of importance, as otherwise my wife would be overbur-
dened in my absence, and my mind would not be suffici-
ently free; and besides this, she also seems to need
change of air. The Lord graciously removed the diffi-
culty this evening; for we received most unea pectedly and
wn asked for 6l. 13s., which was owed to us, and also,
when we had already retired to rest, a letter was brought,
containing a present of 21. How very, very kind, and
tender is the Lord |
September 19. This evening we arrived at our friends'
in the Isle of Wight, by whom we were most kindly
received. September 21 to 26. Nothing remarkable has
occurred. I feel very comfortable in this place, and find
my stay here refreshing to my soul. My health is about
the same. I am not fit for mental exercise, and am soon
fatigued even by conversation. I have read during the
last days, with great interest and admiration of the good-
ness of God, and to the refreshment of my soul, the life
of John Newton, and the lives of some of the English
martyrs at the time of the reformation.
Sept. 27. To-day I am thirty years of age. I feel
myself an unprofitable servant. How much more might
I have lived for God than I have done! May the Lord
grant, that if I am allowed to stay a few days more in
A.D. 1835.] 143
this world, they may be spent entirely for him 1 Sep-
tember 29. Last evening, when I retired from the family,
I had a desire to go to rest at once, for I had prayed a
short while before; and feeling weak in body, the cold-
ness of the night was a temptation to me to pray no
further. However, the Lord did help me to fall upon
my knees: and no sooner had I commenced praying,
than he shone into my soul, and gave me such a spirit of
prayer, as I had not enjoyed for many weeks. . He gra-
ciously once more revived his work in my heart. I
enjoyed that nearness to God and fervency in prayer, for
more than an hour, for which my soul had been panting
for many weeks past. For the first time, during this
illness, I had now also a spirit of prayer as it regards my
health. I could ask the Lord earnestly to restore me
again, which had not been the case before. I now long
to go back again to the work in Bristol, yet without im-
patience, and feel assured that the Lord will strengthen
me to return to it. I went to bed especially happy and
awoke this morning in great peace, rose sooner than
usual, and had again, for more than an hour, real commu-
nion with the Lord before breakfast. May he in mercy
continue this state of heart to his most unworthy child !
October 8. My strength has been during the last days
increasing, but I feel still the symptoms of indigestion.
I have been able to speak several times at family prayer,
and to expound the Scriptures to the school children,
without suffering in consequence of it.
October 9. I have many times had thoughts of giving
in print some account of the Lord's goodness to me, for
the instruction, comfort, and encouragement of the chil-
dren of God; and I have been more than ever stirred up
to do so since I read Newton’s life a few days ago. I
have considered, to-day, all the reasons for and against,
and find that there are scarcely any against, and many
for it.
October 15. To-day we left our dear friends for Bristol.
November 15. Prother C r and I have been praying
together the last five days, that the Lord would be pleased
to send us means for the carrying on of the work of the
Scriptural Knowledge Institution. This evening a brother
gave me 6s. 1d., being money which he formerly used to
pay towards the support of a trade elub, which he has
144 [A.D. 1835.
lately given up for the Lord’s sake. November 18. This
evening 30l. was given to me; 25l. for the Scriptural
Knowledge Institution, and 5l. for myself. This is a
most remarkable answer to prayer. Brother C r and
I have prayed repeatedly together during the last week,
concerning the work, and especially that the Lord would
be pleased to give us the means to continue, and even to
enlarge, the field. In addition to this, I have several
times asked for a supply for myself, and he has kindly
granted both these requests. Oh that I may have grace to
trust him more and more 1 November 20. This evening
I took tea at a sister's house, where I found Franke's
life. I have frequently, for a long time, thought of
labouring in a similar way, though it might be on a much
smaller scale; not to imitate Franke, but in reliance upon
the Lord. May God make it plain! November 21.
To-day I have had it very much impressed on my heart,
no longer merely to think about the establishment of an
Orphan-House, but actually to set about it, and I have
been very much in prayer respecting it, in order to ascer-
tain the Lord’s mind.—I received this day, from an unex-
pected quarter, 5l. for the Scriptural Knowledge Institu-
tion, in answer to prayer; and I had also ll. 14s. 6d.
sent from a distance of one hundred and twenty miles.
November 22. This evening I had sent for the Institu-
tion 17 4s. November 23. To-day I had 101. sent from
Ireland for our Institution. Thus the Lord, in answer
to prayer, has given me, in a few days, about 50l. I had
asked only for 40l. This has been a great encouragement
to me, and has still more stirred me up to think and pray
about the establishment of an Orphan-House. Novem-
ber 25. I have been again much in prayer yesterday and
to-day about the Orphan-House, and am more and more
convinced that it is of God. May he in mercy guide me!
The three chief reasons for establishing an Orphan-
Eſouse are:—1. That God may be glorified, should he be
pleased to furnish me with the means, in its being seen
that it is not a vain thing to trust in him; and that thus
the faith of his children may be strengthened. 2. The
spiritual welfare of fatherless and motherless children.
3. Their temporal welfare.
. It may be well to enter somewhat more minutely, than
my journal does, upon the reasons which led me to estab-
145 [A.D. 1835.
lish an Orphan-House. Through my pastoral labours
among the saints in Bristol, through my considerable cor-
respondence, and through brethren who visited Bristol;
I had constantly cases brought before me, which proved,
that one of the especial things which the children of God
needed in our day, was, to have their faith strengthened.
For instance: I might visit a brother, who worked four-
teen or even sixteen hours a day at his trade, the neces-
sary result of which was, that not only his body suffered,
but his soul was lean, and he had no enjoyment in the things
of God. Under such circumstances I might point out to
him that he ought to work less, in order that his bodily
health might not suffer, and that he might gather strength
for his inner man, by reading the word of God, by medi-
tation over it, and by prayer. The reply, however, I
generally found to be something like this: “But if I work
less, I do not earn enough for the support of my family.
Even now, whilst I work so much, I have scarcely enough.
The wages are so low, that I must work hard in order to
obtain what I need.” There was no trust in God. No
real belief in the truth of that word: “Seek ye first the
kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these
things shall be added unto you.” I might reply some-
thing like this: “My dear brother, it is not your work
which supports your family, but the Lord; and he who
has fed you and your family when you could not work at
all, on account of illness, would surely provide for you
and yours, if, for the sake of obtaining food for your
inner man, you were to work only for so many hours a
day, as would allow you proper time for retirement. And
is it not the case now, that you begin the work of the day
after having had only a few hurried moments for prayer;
and when you leave off your work in the evening, and
mean then to read a little of the word of God, are you
not too much worn out in body and mind, to enjoy it, and
do you not often fall asleep whilst reading the Scriptures,
or whilst on your knees in prayer P” The brother would
allow it was so; he would allow that my advice was good;
but still I read in his countenance, even if he should not
have actually said so, “How should I get on, if I were to
carry out your advice P” I longed, therefore, to have some-
thing to point the brother to, as a visible proof, that our.
God and Father is the same faithful God as ever he was;
O
146 [A.D. 1835.
as willing as ever to PROVE himself to be the LIVING GOD,
in our day as formerly, to all who put their trust in
him. Again, sometimes I found children of God tried
in mind by the prospect of old age, when they might be
unable to work any longer, and therefore were harassed
by the fear of having to go into the poor-house. If in
such a case I pointed out to them, how their Heavenly
Rather has always helped those who put their trust in him,
they might not, perhaps, always say, that times have
changed; but yet it was evident enough, that God was
not looked upon by them as the LIVING God. My spirit
was ofttimes bowed down by this, and I longed to set
something before the children of God, whereby they
might see, that he does not forsake, even in our day,
those who rely upon him. Another class of persons
were brethren in business, who suffered in their souls,
and brought guilt on their consciences, by carrying on
their business, almost in the same way, as unconverted
persons do. The competition in trade, the bad times, the
over-peopled country, were given as reasons why, if the
business were carried on simply according to the word of
God, it could not be expected to do well. Such a brother,
perhaps, would express the wish, that he might be diffe-
rently situated, but very rarely did I see, that there was a
stand made for God, that there was the holy determination
to trust in the living God, and to depend on him, in order
that a good conscience might be maintained. To this class
likewise I desired to show, by a visible proof, that God is
unchangeably the same.——Then there was another class
of persons, individuals who were in professions in which
they could not continue with a good conscience, or persons
who were in an unscriptural position with reference to
spiritual things; but both classes feared, on account of
the consequences, to give up the profession in which they
could not abide with God, or to leave their position, lest
they should be thrown out of employment. My spirit
longed to be instrumental in strengthening their faith, by
giving them not only instances from the word of God, of
his willingness and ability to help all those who rely upon
him, but to show them by proofs, that he is the same in
our day. I well knew that the word of God ought to be
enough, and it was, by grace, enough to me; but still, I
considered that I ought to lend a helping hand to my
A.D. 1835.] 147
brethren, if by any means, by this visible proof to the un-
changeable faithfulness of the Lord, I might strengthen
their hands in God; for I remembered what a great
blessing my own soul had received through the Lord's
dealings with his servant A. H. Franke, who, in de-
pendance upon the living God alone, established an
immense Orphan-House, which I had seen many times
with my own eyes. I, therefore, judged myself bound to
be the servant of the Church of Christ, in the particular
point on which I had obtained mercy: namely, in being
able to take God by his word and to rely upon it. All
these exercises of my soul, which resulted from the fact
that so many believers, with whom I became acquainted,
were harassed and distressed in mind, or brought guilt
on their consciences, on account of not trusting in the
Lord; were used by God to awaken in my heart the
desire of setting before the church at large, and before
the world, a proof that he has not in the least changed:
and this seemed to me best done, by the establishing of
an Orphan-House. It needed to be something which
could be seen, even by the natural eye. Now, if I, a poor
man, simply by prayer and faith, obtained, without asking
any individual, the means for establishing and carrying
on an Orphan-House : there would be something which,
with the Lord’s blessing, might be instrumental in
strengthening the faith of the children of God, besides
being a testimony to the consciences of the uncon-
verted, of the reality of the things of God. . This, then,
was the primary reason, for establishing the Orphan-
House. I certainly did from my heart desire to be used
by God to benefit the bodies of poor children, bereaved of
both parents, and seek in other respects, with the help of
God, to do them good for this life;—I also particularly
longed to be used by God in getting the dear orphans
trained up in the fear of God;—but still, the first and
primary object of the work was, (and still is):-that God
might be magnified by the fact, that the orphans under
my care are provided with all they need only by prayer
and faith, without any one being asked by me or my
fellow-labourers, whereby it may be seen, that God is
FAITH FUL STILL, and HEARs PRAYER STILL. That I was
not mistaken, has been abundantly proved since Novem-
ber, 1835, both by the conversion of many sinners who
O 2
148 [A.D. 1835.
have read the accounts, which have been published in
connexion with this work, and also by the abundance of
fruit that has followed in the hearts of the saints, for
which, from my inmost soul, I desire to be grateful to
God, and the honour and glory of which not only is due
to him alone, but which I, by his help, am enabled to
ascribe to him.
November 28. I have been, every day this week, very
much in prayer concerning the Orphan-House, chiefly en-
treating the Lord to take away every thought concerning
it out of my mind, if the matter be not of him; and have
also repeatedly examined my heart concerning my motives
in the matter. But I have been more and more confirmed
that it is of God.
December 2. I have again, these last days, prayed much
about the Orphan-House, and have frequently examined
my heart, that if it were at all my desire to establish it
for the sake of gratifying myself, I might find it out. To
that end I have also conversed with brother Craik about
it, that he might be instrumental in showing me any
hidden corruption of my heart concerning the matter, or
any other scriptural reason against my engaging in it.
The one only reason which ever made me at all doubt as
to its being of God, that I should engage in this work,
is, the multiplicity of engagements which I have already.
But that which has overbalanced this objection in my
mind has been:—1. That the matter is of such great im-
portance. 2. That if the matter be of God, he will in
due time send suitable individuals, so that comparatively
little of my time will be taken up in this service.
This morning I asked the Lord especially, that he would
be pleased to teach me through the instrumentality of
brother C.; and I went to him, that he might have an
opportunity of probing my heart. For as I desire only
the Lord’s glory, I should be glad to be instructed through
the instrumentality of any brother, if the matter be not
of him. But brother C., on the contrary, greatly en-
couraged me in it. Therefore I have this day taken the
first actual step in the matter, in having ordered bills to
be printed, announcing a public meeting on December 9th,
at which I intend to lay before the brethren my thoughts
concerning the Orphan-House, as a means of ascertaining
more clearly the Lord’s mind concerning the matter. De-
A.D. 1835.] 149
cember 4. Brother Craik told me this morning, that his
voice is getting a little better. December 5. This evening
I was struck, in reading the Scriptures, with these words:
“Open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.” Ps. lxxxi. 10.
Up to this day I had not prayed at all concerning the
means or individuals needed for the Orphan-House. I
was now led to apply this scripture to the Orphan-House,
and asked the Lord for premises, 1000l., and suitable in-
dividuals to take care of the children. December 7. To-
day I received the first shilling for the Orphan-House.
Afterwards I received another shilling from a German
brother.
December 9. This afternoon the first piece of furniture
was given—a large wardrobe. This afternoon and even-
ing I was low in spirit as it regards the Orphan-House,
but as soon as I began to speak at the meeting, I received
peculiar assistance from God, felt great peace and joy, and
the assurance that the work is of God. After the meet-
inglos. was given to me. There was purposely no collection,
nor did any one speak besides myself: for it was not in
the least intended to work upon the feelings, for I sought
to be quite sure concerning the mind of God. After the
meeting a sister offered herself for the work. I went
home happy in the Lord, and full of confidence that the
matter will come to pass, though but 10s. has been given.
December 10. This morning I have sent to the press a
statement, which contains the substance of what I said
at the meeting last evening. [For the sake of those who
have not read it before, it is given here.]
Proposal for the Establishment of an Orphan-House in
connexion with the Scriptural Knowledge Institution
for Home and Abroad.
Since the last Report of the operations of the Scriptural
Rnowledge Institution for home and abroad was published,
the Lord has sent us, in answer to prayer, brother John
C r, formerly a minister of the establishment, as a
city missionary, who goes from house to house, among the
poor of this city, to converse with them about the things
of God, to circulate the Scriptures among them, to get
them to come to the adult-school, if they cannot read, and
to advise them to put their children to our schools, pro-
O 3
150 | A.D. 1835.
vided they go to no other. It was particularly gracious
of the Lord to send this brother, nearly five months ago,
as my brother and fellow labourer, Henry Craik, has been
for these eight months laid aside from the ministry of the
word, on account of bodily infirmity, and has therefore
been unable to take an active part in this Institution.
Thus I have not only found great help, but I have been
greatly encouraged to enlarge the field. That to which
my mind has been particularly directed is, to establish an
Orphan-House, in which destitute fatherless and mother-
less children may be provided with food and raiment, and
scriptural education. Concerning this intended Orphan-
House I would say:-
1. It is intended to be in connexion with the Scriptural
Rnowledge Institution for home and abroad, in so far as
it respects the Reports, accounts, superintendence, and
the principles on which it is conducted, so that, in one
sense, it may be considered as a new object of the Insti-
tution, yet with this difference, that only those funds shall
be applied to the Orphan-House which are eaſpressly given
for it. If, therefore, any believer should prefer to sup-
port either those objects which have been hitherto asssisted
by the funds of this Institution, or the intended Orphan-
House, it need only be mentioned, in order that the
money may be applied accordingly.
2. It will only be established if the Lord should
provide both the means for it and suitable persons to
conduct it.
As to the means, I would make the following remarks.
The reason for proposing to enlarge the field, is not be-
cause we have of late particularly abounded in means; for
we have been rather straitened. The many gracious
answers, however, which the Lord had given us concern-
ing this Institution, led brother C r and me to give
ourselves to prayer, asking him to supply us with the
means to carry on the work, as we consider it unscrip-
tural to contract debts. During five days, we prayed
several times, both unitedly and separately. After that
time, the Lord began to answer our prayers, so that,
within a few days, about 50l. was given to us. I would
further say, that the very gracious and tender dealings of
God with me, in having supplied, in answer to prayer, for
the last five years, my own temporal wants without any
A.D. 1835.] 151
certain income, so that money, provisions and clothes
have been sent to me at times when I was greatly strait-
ened, and that not only in small, but large quantities;
and not merely from individuals living in the same place
with me, but at a considerable distance ; and that not
merely from intimate friends, but from individuals whom
I have never seen : all this, I say, has often led me to
think, even as long as four years ago, that the Lord had
not given me this simple reliance on him merely for my-
self, but also for others. Often, when I saw poor neg-
lected children running about the streets at Teignmouth,
I said to myself: “May it not be the will of God, that
I should establish schools for these children, asking him
to give me the means ?” However, it remained only a
thought in my mind for two or three years. About two
years and six months since, I was particularly stirred up
afresh to do something for destitute children, by seeing
so many of them begging in the streets of Bristol, and
coming to our door. It was not, then, left undone on
account of want of trust in the Lord, but through an
abundance of other things calling for all the time and
strength of my brother Craik and myself; for the Lord
had both given faith, and had also shown by the follow-
ing instance, in addition to very many others, both what
he can and what he will do. One morning, whilst sitting
in my room, I thought about the distress of certain bre-
thren, and said thus to myself:-‘O that it might please
the Lord to give me the means to help these poor bre-
thren l’’ About an hour afterwards I had 60l. sent as a
present for myself, from a brother, whom up to this day I
have never seen, and who was then, and is still, residing
several thousand miles from this. Should not such an
experience, together with promises like that one in John
xiv. 13, 14, encourage us to ask with all boldness, for our-
selves and others, both temporal and spiritual blessings?
The Lord, for I cannot but think it was he, again and
again brought the thought about these poor children to
my mind, till at last it ended in the establishment of
“The Scriptural Knowledge Institution, for Home and
Abroad;” since the establishment of which, I have had
it in a similar way brought to my mind, first about four-
teen months ago, and repeatedly since, but especially
during these last weeks, to establish an Orphan-House.
152 [A.D. 1835.
My frequent prayer of late has been, that, if it be of God,
he would let it come to pass; if not, that he would take
from me all thoughts about it. The latter has not been
the case, but I have been led more and more to think that
the matter may be of him. Now, if so, he can influence
his people in any part of the world, (for I do not look to
Bristol, nor even to England, but to the living God, whose
is the gold and the silver,) to intrust me and brother
C—r, whom the Lord has made willing to help me in
this work, with the means. Till we have them, we can
do nothing in the way of renting a house, furnishing it,
&c. Yet, when once as much as is needed for this has
been sent us, as also proper persons to engage in the work,
we do not think it needful to wait till we have the Orphan-
House endowed, or a number of yearly subscribers for it;
but we trust to be enabled by the Lord, who has taught
us to ask for our daily bread, to look to him for the supply
of the daily wants of those children whom he may be
pleased to put under our care. Any donations will be
received at my house. Should any believers have tables,
chairs, bedsteads, bedding, earthenware, or any kind of
household furniture to spare, for the furnishing of the
house; or remnants or pieces of calico, linen, flannel,
cloth, or any materials useful for wearing apparel; or
clothes already worn; they will be thankfully received.
Respecting the persons who are needed for carrying on
the work a rº" . of no less importance than the pro-
curing of funds, I would observe, that we look for them
to God himself, as well as for the funds; and that all who
may be engaged as masters, matrons, and assistants,
according to the smallness or largeness of the Institution,
must be known to us as true believers; and moreover, as
far as we may be able to judge, must likewise be qualified
for the work. .
3. At present nothing can be said as to the time when
the operations are likely to commence; nor whether the
Institution will embrace children of both sexes, or be
restricted either to boys or girls exclusively; nor of what
age they will be received, and how long they may continue
in it ; for though we have thought about these things, yet
we would rather be guided in these particulars by the
amount of the means, which the Lord may put into our
hands, and by the number of the individuals, whom he may
A.D. 1835.] 153
provide for conducting the Institution. Should the Lord
condescend to use us as instruments, a short printed
statement will be issued as soon as something more defi-
nite can be said.
4. It has appeared well to us to receive only such desti-
tute children as have been bereaved of both parents.
5. The children are intended, if girls, to be brought up
for service; if boys, for a trade; and therefore they will
be employed, according to their ability and bodily strength,
in useful occupations, and thus help to maintain them-
selves; besides this they are intended to receive a plain
education ; but the chief and especial end of the Insti-
tution will be to seek, with God’s blessing, to bring them
to the knowledge of Jesus Christ, by instructing them in
the Scriptures.

GEORGE MüLLER.
Bristol, Dec. 10th, 1835.
Tecember 11. I have been enabled to pray all this
week with increased confidence concerning the Orphan-
House, as it regards means, a house, suitable individuals
to take care of the children, furniture, &c. December 16.
Brother C––n, whom the Lord has kindly allowed to
stay above two months among us, to supply brother
Craik's lack of service, left us to-day. How very gracious
has the Lord been to us in this affliction 1 Many bre-
thren have been sent to us as helpers for a little while—
brother C–t for the greater part of the time, and bro-
ther C––n for more than two months. And, in addition
to this, when brother Craik and I were both ill, the
brethren were kept in peace, and there was a spirit of
prayer among them. December 31. This evening we
had an especial meeting for prayer and praise. We con-
tinued together from seven till after twelve.
There have been received into the church at Gideon
during the past year . sº º e º 29
Ditto, Bethesda c º tº º * > e 30
Altogether º º 59
Of these 59, 30 have been brought to the knowledge of
the Lord through the instrumentality of brother Craik
154 [A.D. 1836.
and me. There are now, of those who have been begotten
again through us, since we have been in Bristol, at Gideon
63, and at Bethesda 71—altogether 134. Besides this
several have fallen asleep in the faith, who never were in
communion with us, and several of our spiritual children
have joined other churches, in and out of Bristol, and
many are now standing as hopeful characters on the list
of candidates for communion. There have been added to
the church at Gideon, since we came, 125; to Bethesda,
163—altogether 288; so that the number of both
churches would have been 356 (68 believers we found at
Gideon), had there been no changes; but
Of Gideon are at present
under church discipline 6, of Bethesda, 7, altogether 13
Do. have fallen asleep . 12 do. 5 do. 17
T}o. have left Bristol . 10 do. 4. do. 14
Do. have left us, but are
still in Bristol . . . 11 do. 4. do. 15
39 20 59
So that there are at present in communion with us
297:—143 at Bethesda, and 154 at Gideon.
As it regards the way in which the Lord in his faithful
love supplied my temporal wants, during the past year, I
mention that I received—
3. s. d.
1. In free-will offerings, given through
the boxes, as my part . e ſº
2. In free-will offerings given by believ-
ers in and out of Bristol, not through
the boxes . & e º . 120 7 6
3. Towards the house rent I received
from brother Craik, in consideration
that he has no rent to pay, for nine
months * º * e ſº 7 10 O
4. The presents sent to us in clothes and
provisions, &c., were worth to us at
least . g e & ſº . 27 O O
*-**
Altogether . 285 1 14
130 3 7+
January 3, 1836. This morning brother Craik spoke a
A.D. 1836.] 15
5
little in public for the first time after about nine months.
January 6. To-day we had three especial prayer meet-
ings, for the full restoration of brother Craik's voice. We
had also, on January 7, 8, 9, and 10, especial prayer meet-
ings for brother Craik's full restoration. January 16.
To-day I put into the press another statement, containing
a further account respecting the Orphan-House. [It is
here reprinted.]
IFurther Account respecting the Orphan-House, intended to
be established in Bristol, in connealion with the Scrip-
tural Knowledge Institution for Home and Abroad.
When, of late, the thoughts of establishing an Orphan-
IHouse, in dependance upon the Lord, revived in my
mind, during the first two weeks I only prayed, that, if it
were of the Lord, he would bring it about ; but, if not,
that he graciously would be pleased to take all thoughts
about it out of my mind. My uncertainty about knowing
the Lord’s mind did not arise from questioning whether
it would be pleasing in his sight, that there should be an
abode and scriptural education provided for destitute
fatherless and motherless children, but whether it were
his will that I should be the instrument of setting such
an object on foot, as my hands were already more than
filled. My comfort, however, was, that if it were his
will, he would provide not merely the means, but also
suitable individuals to take care of the children, so that
my part of the work would take only such a portion of
my time, as, considering the importance of the matter, I
might give, notwithstanding my many other engagements.
The whole of those two weeks I never asked the Lord for
money, or for persons to engage in the work. On Decem-
ber 5th, however, the subject of my prayer all at once be-
came different. I was reading Psalm lxxxi, and was par-
ticularly struck, more than at any time before, with ver.
10: “Open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.” I thought
a few moments about these words, and then was led to
apply them to the case of the Orphan-House. It struck
me that I had never asked the Lord for any thing con-
cerning it, except to know his will respecting its being
established or not; and I then fell on my knees, and
opened my mouth wide, asking him for much. I asked
156 [A. D. 1835.
in submission to his will, and without fixing a time when
he should answer my petition. I prayed that he would
give me a house, i. e. either as a loan, or that some one
might be led to pay the rent for one, or that one might
be given permanently for this object; further I asked
him for £1000. ; and likewise for suitable individuals to
take care of the children. Besides this, I have been since
led to ask the Lord, to put it into the hearts of his people
to send me articles of furniture for the house, and some
clothes for the children. When I was asking the petition,
I was fully aware what I was doing, i. e. that I was ask-
ing for something which I had no natural prospect of ob-
taining from the brethren whom Iknow, but which was not
too much for the Lord to grant. As I have stated, that
I desire to see clearly the Lord’s will concerning the
Orphan-House, by his providing both the means and suit-
able individuals for it, I will now mention how he has
been dealing with me in these respects.
T]ecember 7, 1835.-Anonymously was given 2s. In
the paper in which they were enclosed was written “1s.
for the Orphan-House, and 1s. for the Scriptural Know-
ledge Institution. In the name of the Lord alone lift up
your banners, so shall you prosper.” 1s. besides was
given. December 9. I found 3s, in the box, which I
had put up two days before in my room for the Orphan-
House, and a large wardrobe was given just before the
meeting in the evening, when I stated publicly my desire
concerning this object before the brethren. After the
meeting 10s. was given. Also a sister offered herself at
the same time for the work. December 10. This morn-
ing I received a letter, in which a brother and sister
wrote thus:—“We propose ourselves for the service of
the intended Orphan-House, if you think us qualified for
it ; also to give up all the furniture, &c., which the Lord
has given us, for its use; and to do this without receiv-
ing any salary whatever, believing that if it be the will
of the Lord to employ us, he will supply all our need, &c.”
In the evening a brother brought from several individuals
three dishes, 28 plates, three basins, one jug, four mugs,
three salt stands, one grater, four knives and five forks.
December 12. While I was praying this morning that
the Lord would give us a fresh token of his favour con-
cerning the Orphan-House, a brother brought three
A.D. 1835.] 157
dishes, 12 plates, one basin, and one blanket. After this
had been given, I thanked God, and asked him to give
even this day another encouragement. Shortly after,
#50. was given, and that by an individual from whom, for
several reasons, I could not have expected this sum. Thus
the hand of God appeared so much the more clearly.
Lven then I was led to pray, that this day the Lord would
give still more. In the evening, accordingly, there was
sent by a sister 29 yards of print. Also a sister offered
herself for the work. Tecember 13. A brother was in-
fluenced this day to give 4s. per week, or 101. 8s. yearly,
as long as the Lord gives the means: 8s. was given by
him as two weeks’ subscription. To-day a brother and
sister offered themselves, with all their furniture, and all
their provisions which they have in the house, if they can
be usefully employed in the concerns of the Orphan-
House.
December 14. To-day a sister offered her services for
the work. In the evening another sister offered herself
for the Institution. December 15. A sister brought from
several friends ten basins, eight mugs, one plate, five
dessert spoons, six tea spoons, one skimmer, one toasting
fork, one flour dredge, three knives and forks, one sheet,
one pillow case, one table cloth ; also ll. In the after-
noon were sent 55 yards of sheeting, and 12 yards of
calico. December 16. I took out of the box in my room
1s. Tecember 17. I was rather cast down last evening
and this morning about the matter, questioning whether
I Ought to be engaged in this way, and was led to ask the
Ilord to give me some further encouragement. Soon
after were sent by a brother two pieces of print, the one
seven, and the other 23# yards, 64 yards of calico, four
pieces of lining, about four yards altogether, a sheet, and
a yard measure. This evening another brother brought
a clothes’ horse, three frocks, four pinafores, six hand-
kerchiefs, three counterpanes, one blanket, two pewter
salt cellars, six tin cups, and six metal tea spoons; he also
brought 3s.6d., given to him by three different individuals.
At the same time he told me that it had been put into
the heart of an individual to send to-morrow 100l.
T)ecember 18. This afternoon the same brother brought,
from a sister, a counterpane, a flat iron stand, eight cups
and saucers, a sugar basin, a milk jug, a tea-cup, 16
P
158" [A.D. 1835.
thimbles, five knives and forks, six dessert spoons, 12 tea.
spoons, four combs, and two little graters; from another
friend a flat iron and a cup and saucer. At the same
time he brought the 100l. above referred to. [Since the
publication of the second edition it has pleased the Lord
to take to himself the donor of this 100l., and I therefore
give in this present edition some further account of the
donation and the donor, as the particulars respecting
both, with God's blessing, may tend to edification. In-
deed I confess that I am delighted to be at liberty, in
consequence of the death of the donor, to give the follow-
ing short narrative, which, during her lifetime, I should
not have considered it wise to publish. A. L., the donor,
was known to me almost from the beginning of my coming
to Bristol in 1832. She earned her bread by needlework,
by which she gained from 2s. to 5s. per week; the average,
I suppose, was not more than about 3s.6d., as she was
weak in body. But this dear, humble sister was content
with her small earnings, and I do not remember ever to
have heard her utter a word of complaint on account of
earning so little. Some time before I had been led to
establish an Orphan-House, her father had died, through
which event she had come into the possession of 480l.,
which sum had been left to her (and the same amount to
her brother and two sisters) by her grandmother, but of
which her father had had the interest during his life-time.
The father, who had been much given to drinking, died in
debt, which debts the children wished to pay; but the
rest, besides A. L., did not like to pay the full amount,
and offered to the creditors 5s. in the pound, which they
gladly accepted, as they had not the least legal claim upon
the children. After the debts had been paid, according
to this agreement, sister A. L. said to herself, “However
sinful my father may have been, yet he was my father,
and as I have the means of paying his debts to the full
amount, I ought, as a believing child, to do so, seeing
that my brother and sisters will not do it.” She then
went to all the creditors secretly, and paid the full amount
of the debts, which took 40l. more of her money, besides
her share which she had given before. Her brother and
two sisters now gave 50l. each of their property to their
mother; but A. L. said to herself: “I am a child of God,
Surely I ought to give my mother twice as much as my
A.D. 1835.] 159
brother and sisters. She, therefore, gave her mother 100l.
Shortly after this she sent me the 100l. towards the
Orphan-House. I was not a little surprised when I
received this money from her, for I had always known her
as a poor girl, and I had never heard any thing about her
having come into the possession of this money, and her
dress had never given me the least indication of an altera-
tion in her circumstances. Before, however, accepting
this money from her, I had a long conversation with her,
in which I sought to probe her as to her motives, and in
which I sought to ascertain whether, as I had feared, she
might have given this money in the feeling of the moment,
without having counted the cost. I was the more parti-
cular, because, if the money were given, without its being
given from Scriptural motives, and there should be regret
afterwards, the name of the Lord would be dishonoured.
But I had not conversed long with this beloved sister,
before I found that she was, in this particular, a quiet,
calm, considerate follower of the Lord Jesus, and one
who desired, in spite of what human reason might say, to
act according to the words of our Lord: “Lay not up for
yourselves treasures upon earth.” Matthew vi. 19. “Sell
that ye have, and give alms.” Luke xii. 33. When I
remonstrated with her, in order that I might see, whether
she had counted the cost, she said to me: “The Tord
Jesus has given his last drop of blood for me, and should
I not give him this 100l. P” She likewise said: “Bather
than the Orphan-House should not be established, I will
give all the money I have.” When I saw that she had
weighed the matter according to the word of God, and
that she had counted the cost, I could not but take the
money, and admire the way which the Lord look, to use
this poor, sickly sister as an instrument, in so considerable
a measure, for helping, at its very commencement, this
work, which I had set about solely in dependance upon
the living God. At that time she would also have me
take 5l. for the poor saints in communion with us. I
mention here particularly, that this dear sister kept all
these things to herself, and did them as much as possible
in secret; and during her life-time, I suppose, not six
brethren and sisters among us knew that she had ever
possessed 480l., or that she had given 100l. towards the
Orphan-House. But this is not all. Some time after
P 2
160 [A.D. 1835.
this 100l. had been given by her, brother C r, (who
was then labouring as a City Missionary in connexion
with the Scriptural Knowledge Institution, and who about
that very time happened to visit from house to house in
that part of the city where A. L. lived), told me that he
had met with many cases, in which A. L. had given to
one poor woman a bedstead, to another some bedding, to
another some clothes, to another food; and thus instance
upon instance of acts of love, on the part of our dear
sister A. L., had come before him. I relate one instance
more. August 4, 1836, seven months and a half after
she had given the 100l., she came one morning to me and
said: “Last evening I felt myself particularly stirred up
to pray about the funds of the Scriptural Knowledge
Institution; but whilst praying I thought, what good is it
for me to pray for means, if I do not give, when I have the
means, and I have therefore brought you this 5l.” As I
had reason to believe that by this time by far the greater
part of her money was gone, I again had a good deal of
conversation with her, to see whether she really did count
the cost, and whether this donation also was given unto
the Lord, or from momentary excitement, in which case
it was better not to give the money. However, she was
at this time also steadfast, grounded upon the word of
God, and evidently constrained by the love of Christ ;
and all the effect my conversation had upon her was, that
she said: “You must take five shillings in addition to the
5l., as a proof that I give the 5l. cheerfully.” And thus
she constrained me to take the 51. 5s. Four things are
especially to be noticed about this beloved sister, with
reference to all this period of her earthly pilgrimage:
1, She did all these things in secret, avoiding to the
utmost all show about them, and thus proved, that she
did not desire the praise of man. 2, She remained, as
before, of an humble and lowly mind, and she proved thus,
that she had done what she did unto the Lord, and not
unto man. 3, Her dress remained, during all the time
that she had this comparative abundance, the same as
before. It was clean, yet as simple and as inexpensive as
it was at the time when all her income had consisted of
8s. 6d., or at most 5s., per week. There was not the least
difference as to her lodging, dress, manner of life, etc.
She remained in every way the poor hand-maid of the
A.D. 1835.] 161
Lord, as to all outward appearance. 4, But that which
is as lovely as the rest, she continued working at her
needle all this time. She earned her 2s. 6d., or 3s., or
a little more, a week, by her work, as before : whilst she
gave away the money in Sovereigns or Five Pound
Notes.—At last all her money was gone, and that some
years before she fell asleep; and as her bodily health
never had been good, as long as I had known her, and
was now much worse, she found herself peculiarly de-
pendant upon the Lord, who never forsook her, up to the
last moments of her earthly course. The very commence-
ment of her life of simple dependance upon the Lord, was
such as greatly to encourage her. She related the facts to
me, as I give them here. When she was completely with-
out money, and when her little stock of tea and butter
was also gone, two sisters in the Lord called on her.
After they had been a little while with her, they told her
that they had come to take tea with her. She said to
herself, I should not at all mind to go without my tea,
but this is a great trial, that I have nothing to set before
these sisters; and she gave them therefore to understand,
that their staying to tea would not be convenient at that
time. The sisters, however, I suppose, not understanding
the hint, remained, and presently brought out of a basket
tea, sugar, butter, and bread, and thus there was all
that was requisite for the tea, and the remainder of
the provisions was left with her. She told me, that at
that time she was not accustomed to trials of faith, as she
afterwards was.
Her body became weaker and weaker, in consequence of
which she was able to work very little, for many months
before she died; but the Lord supplied her with all she
needed, though she never asked for anything. For instance,
a sister in communion with us sent her for many months
all the bread she used.—Her mouth was full of thanks-
giving, even in the midst of the greatest bodily sufferings.
She fell asleep in Jesus in January 1844.—I have related
these facts, because they tend to the praise of the Lord,
and may be instrumental in stirring up other children of
God, to follow this dear departed sister in so far as she
followed the Lord Jesus; but, in particular, that I may
show in what remarkable ways the Lord proved, from the
very beginning, that the Orphan-House was his and not
P 3
162 [A.D. 1835.
mine. I now go on to narrate further how the Lord
provided me with means for it..] This evening a sister
sent five small forms. December 20. A sister gave me 5l.
December 21. A friend sent 17. Weekly subscription
of 4s. December 22. A sister gave me 11, and a friend
sent 2s. 6d. December 23. A brother gave this evening
a piece of blind line and a dozen of blind tassels. About
ten in the evening, a gentleman brought me from an indi-
vidual, whose name he was not to mention, 4!., of which I
was allowed to take 27, for the Orphan-House, and to give
the other 21. to poor believers. December 28. During
the last four days I had received no offerings, and was
rather cast down about it, not knowing why the Lord
dealt thus. Yet, in the midst of it, I had a hope, that he
was in the mean time working for the Orpham-House,
though nothing had been given. I was again stirred up
to pray that the Lord would appear to-day. A little after,
I saw a brother who told me, that ever since he had
received the printed proposal for the establishment of an
Orphan-House, he had considered the matter, and that he
was willing to give for the use of it certain premises,
which he built some years since, and which cost him
2,600l., provided there could be raised about 500l., to add
to the buildings what may be needed, to fit them for the
purpose. There is a piece of ground belonging to the
premises, sufficiently large to build thereon what may be
required. The buildings are very suitable for an Orphan-
House, containing some very large rooms. If, therefore,
the Lord should put it into the hearts of his people, who
have the means, to give this sum of money, the premises
will be given. The reason why they are offered under the
above-mentioned condition is, that in the state in which
they are now, on account of the peculiar purpose for which
they were built, they could accommodate only about 15
children, but, by the proposed addition, would be large
enough for 50 or 60. For the present, however, the pre-
mises are let, and a notice of six months must be given.
If this matter should be brought about by the Lord, my
prayer concerning a house, which has been repeatedly
brought before him since December 5th, will have been
answered. Yet I leave the matter in the hands of him,
who has the power to give us a place, of which we may
take immediate possession, or who can put it into the
A.D. 1836.] 163
hearts of his children to pay the rent for a house, or to
give us the 500l. necessary to complete the building.—
Weekly subscription of 4s. December 29. A clergyman
gave 10s. December 30. A brother at Sidmouth sent 51.
January 1, 1836. Through a sister was given 6s., being
six different donations; also from herself 17. as a donation,
besides 1s. as a monthly subscription. Also a lady sent
through her ll. 1s. as a yearly subscription. January 2.
A sister sent 5l. January 3. A gentleman sent 5s. Jan-
uary 4. Weekly subscription of 4s. Through a brother
from two friends, 1s. The same brother brought also one
dish, three plates, two basins, two cups and saucers, and
two knives and forks. January 5. 10s., and 12s. 9d., and
2!. were given. This evening some one rang our house
bell. When the door was opened, no one was there, but
a kitchen fender and a dish were found at the door, which
no doubt were given for the Orphan-House.
January 7. 10s. was sent. January 8. 21. was given,
also 10s. A sister offered herself for the work. January 9,
From E. G. 17. 5s., and from a brother 6d. January 10.
2s. 6d. was given. In the paper was written, “Two widows'
mites for the Orphan-School. In the name of the Lord
establish it.” January 11. Weekly subscription 4s.
January 12. 6d., 6d., 4d, 4d., and 1d. were given.
January 14. An old great coat was given; 17. by a
brother. A sister in Dublin offered 27. 12s. yearly. There
was sent a deal box, a small looking-glass, a candlestick,
. ſº a basin, two plates, two knives and forks, and a tin
1Sil.
All this money, and all these articles have been given,
and all these above-mentioned offers have been made,
without my asking any individual for anything ; moreover,
almost all has been sent from individuals concerning
whom I had naturally no reason to expect any thing, and
some of whom I never saw. Upon the ground of these
facts, therefore, I am clearly persuaded, that it is the will
of the Lord that I should proceed in the work, and I shall
therefore now state something more definite than I could
in the former paper.
1. If the Lord should not provide previous to the
middle of February a house in the way of gift, which in a
few weeks may be occupied for an Orphan-House, or put
it into the heart of some one who loves him to pay the
164 [A.D. 1836.
rent for one, or to lend us one for this purpose, I intend,
God willing, to rent certain suitable premises, which are
to be had for about 50l. yearly. I purpose to take them
for a twelvemonth, for that time would be required, before
the building could be finished, should the Tord provide
the above-mentioned 500l.
2. It is intended, God willing, to open the institution
about April 1.
3. It is purposed to confine the Orphan-House, for the
present, to female children. My desire is to help both
male and female orphans, and that from their earliest
youth; but hitherto the Lord has pointed out only a small
commencement. Should it, however, please him to give
me the means, and to increase my faith and light, I shall
gladly serve him more extensively in this way. It has ap-
peared well to me to commence with female children,
because they are the more helpless sex, and they need
more particularly to be taken care of, that they may not
fall a prey to vice. The house which is to be had will
accommodate about 30 children, which number I intend
to receive at once, should the Lord give me the means to
clothe that number, and to furnish the house for so many;
but if not, I purpose, at all events, the Lord willing, to
commence the work, though with a smaller number.
4. It is intended to receive the children from the seventh
to the twelfth year, and to let them stay in the house, till
they are able to go to service.
5. As the children will be brought up for service, they
will be employed in useful household work.
GEORGE MüLLER.
Bristol, Jan. 16, 1836.
January 24. To-day brother Craik preached once for
the first time. January 30. To-day I went to meet two
sisters, who were expected from London. I sat down in
the coach office, took out my Bible, and began to read;
and though in the midst of the noise of the city, the Lord
most especially refreshed my soul, so much so, that I
remember scarcely ever to have had more real communion
with him, which lasted for more than an hour. It was
the love of Christ which led me there. I would gladly
have remained at home, to have had time for prayer and
A.D. 1836.] 165
reading the word, especially as I had to leave the house
early in the morning. Yet I went for the Lord's sake,
and he gave me a blessing: so that, though I had to wait
more than two hours, and after all the sisters did not
arrive, I was richly repaid. May I but leave myself more
and more in his hands! He orders all things well!
February 3. I have been very weak for some days.
This evening brother Craik was able to preach instead of
me, for the first time at the week meetings. How good
is the Lord in restoring him thus far! February 16. To-
day was a day of thanksgiving on account of brother
Craik's restoration. We had three public meetings.
Tebruary 17. I had been repeatedly praying to-day for a
text, but obtained none. About five minutes before the
time of preaching, I was directed to Rev. ii. 19, on which
I preached with much assistance and enjoyment to my
own soul, without any previous preparation; and the word
was felt by many to be a word in season. February 26.
This evening both churches met at tea together, with the
brethren and sisters, who intend to leave us in a few days
for missionary work. February 29. This evening we had
a meeting on behalf of the missionary brethren and
sisters. They were by seven brethren commended to the
Lord in prayer.
March 1. This afternoon brother and sister Groves, and
the brethren and sisters going with them for missionary
purposes, twelve in number, left us for the East Indies.
In consequence of the journey to the Continent in the
commencement of the last year, four brethren and two
sisters have gone out, two brethren in October last, and
two brethren and two sisters to-day. This evening we
had again a prayer meeting for the dear missionary party.
May the Lord soon give us the privilege of seeing some
one of our own number go forth! April 21. This day was
set apart for prayer and thanksgiving concerning the
Orphan-House, as it is now opened. In the morning
several brethren prayed, and brother Craik spoke on the
last verses of Psalm 20. In the afternoon I addressed
our Day and Sunday-School children, the orphans and
other children present. In the evening we had another
prayer-meeting. There are now 17 children in the Orphan-
House.
166 [A.D. 1836.
May 3, I have now been for many days praying for the
supply of our own temporal wants, and for the funds of
the Scriptural Knowledge Institution; but, as yet, I have
had not only no answer to my prayers, but our income
has been less than usual, and we have had also but very
little coming in for the funds of the Institution. We
have not been able to put by our taxes, and expect them
daily to be called for. My clothes also are now worse
than any I ever wore, and I have also but one suit.
May 6. I have now been for some years, and especially
these last few months, more or less thinking and praying
respecting publishing a short account of the Lord’s deal-
ings with me. To-day I have at last settled to do so, and
have begun to write. *
May 16. For these several weeks our income has been
little; and though I had prayed many times that the Lord
would enable us to put by the taxes, yet the prayer
remained unanswered. In the midst of it all, my comfort
was that the Lord would send help by the time it would
be needed. One thing particularly has been a trial to us
of late, far more than our own temporal circumstances,
which is, that we have scarcely in any measure been able
to relieve the distress among the poor saints. To-day,
the Lord at last, after I had many times prayed to him
for these weeks past, answered my prayers, there being
7l. 12s. 0#d. given to me as my part of the free-will offer-
ings through the boxes, two 5l. notes having been put in
yesterday, one for brother Craik and one for me. Thus
the Lord has again delivered us, and answered our
prayers, and that not one single hour too late ; for the
taxes have not as yet been called for. May he fill my
heart with gratitude for this fresh deliverance, and may he
be pleased to enable me more and more to trust in him,
and to wait patiently for his help ! May he also be
pleased to teach me more and more the meaning of that
word, with reference to my own circumstances:–“ Mine
hour is not yet come.”
A third statement, containing the announcement of the
openingofthe Orphan-House for destitute female children,
and a proposal for the establishment of an Infant Orphan-
House, was on May 18th, 1836, sent to the press, and is
here reprinted.
A.D. 1836.] 167
Opening of the Orphan-House for Destitute Female Chil-
dren, established in Bristol, in connecion with the Scrip-
tural Knowledge Institution for Home and Abroad; and
Proposal for the Establishment of an Infant-Orphan-
IHouse.
In a previous printed account, a statement has been
given of the success with which the Lord has been pleased
to crown the prayers of his servant, respecting the
establishment of an Orphan-House in this city. The
subject of my prayer was, that he would graciously pro-
vide a house, either as a loan, or as a gift, or that some
one might be led to pay the rent for one; further, that
he would give me 1000l. for the object, and likewise
suitable individuals to take care of the children. A day
or two after, I was led to ask, in addition to the above,
that he would put it into the hearts of his people to send
me articles of furniture, and some clothes for the children.
In answer to these petitions, 184!. 2s. 6d. and many
articles of furniture and clothing were sent, a conditional
offer of a house, as a gift, was made, and individuals
proposed themselves to take care of the children, the par-
ticulars of which have been given in the statement already
referred to, dated Jan. 16, 1836. I shall now proceed to
show how, since that time, the Lord has continued to
answer my prayers.
January 16, 1836, there was given 6d., six yards of
calico, three plates, a cup and saucer, and a jug. January
18. 4s. Jan. 19. A saucepan and steamer, a tin dish, a
teapot, some drugget; also 4d., and 1s. Jan. 21. 17.,
also 5s. Jan. 22.2s. 6d. Jan. 23. A brother gave 5s.,
the first fruits of the increase of his salary. Jan. 24. 5s.;
also ll, and ll. Jan. 25. A brother promised to give 50l.
within a twelvemonth, with the particular object of thus
securing the payment of the rent of a house. Thus the
Lord has answered the prayer respecting this point.
There were also given ll. 6d. and 4s. Jan. 27. A form
was sent. Jan. 28. A deal table was given, also, anony-
mously, were sent a coal box and 4s., also a bedstead.
Jan. 29. Two little waiters, two candlesticks, two chan-
deliers, two night shades, a tin kettle, a warmer, a bread
168 [A.D. 1836.
basket, a fire guard; also one dozen tin cups, six plates,
and 1s. 6d. ; also 1s., a water jug, six plates, a sugar
basin, a teapot, a tea canister, and a knife. Jan. 30. A
frying pan, a tea canister, a metal teapot, a tin dish, a
pepper box, a flour scoop, a skimmer, a grater, two tin
saucepans, a tin warmer, 55 thimbles, five parcels of
hooks and eyes; also ll. Jan. 31. 5l. 5s. ; an old white
dress and a fur tippet.
February 1. 4s., 2s. 6d., also a sister in the Lord offered
to-day to make the bonnets for the children gratuitously,
if any one would buy the straw, and that her husband
would make a bedstead, if any one would buy the wood;
she also mentioned that they would gladly give both the
straw and the wood, if they had the means. Feb. 2. 6d.,
2d., and out of the box in my room was taken 3s.
Feb. 4. 2s. 6d., 6d. ; also a desk and a kitchen table ;
there was also promised a subscription of 8s. annually.
Eeb. 5. 1s. 6d. Feb. 6. A brother sent 100l., being
induced to do so on having had the former paper read to
him. Feb. 7. 11., 2s., 1s., 6d., 2s. 6d., 5s., 2s. 6d., 5s.,
2s. 6d., 31. 10s. Feb. 8. A table and two chairs, 4.s., 5l.,
also 30l. was sent from Ireland; 10s., 10s., 17. Feb. 9.
1!., 4s. 1d., 10s., 1s. 1d., 1s. 1d., 1s., 1s., 1s., 1s., 1d., 5s.,
2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 6d., 6d., 6d., 4d.,
4d., 1d., 1s. Feb. 11. Three yards of print, 2s. 6d., 5s.,
5s., 10s. Feb. 12. A clothes’ horse, a coffee pot, and ls.;
also a washing tub, a coffee mill, a pepper mill, two dozen
pieces of bobbin, three dozen stay laces, two dozen thim-
bles, two dozen bodkins, 300 needles, a gridiron, six pots
of blacking paste, a pound of thread, and a large deal
table. Feb. 14, 10s., 11. put anonymously into Bethesda
boxes, for the Orphan-House. Feb. 15. Two glass salt
cellars, a mustard pot, a vinegar cruet, and a pepper box,
also 4.s., 4d, 4d., 4d., 4d., 2s. 6d. Feb. 16. 4d., 1s., 4d.
Teb. 17. 5s. Feb. 18. A bedstead, and by two poor
persons, 2d. Feb. 19. There were sent from London
34 yards of print, six yards of calico, one dozen pocket
handkerchiefs, four pairs of stockings, and two New
Testaments. Feb. 20. Two salt cellars, two mugs, two
plates, also two pocket handkerchiefs. Feb. 21. 17.
Feb. 22. 4s., 1s. Feb. 23. Twelve yards of gingham from
two Swiss sisters. Feb. 25. 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d. Feb. 28. 17.
Feb. 29. 17, 5s., 4s.

A. D. 1836.] 169
March 2. 1ſ., 1s., 1s. 6d., 1s., 1s., 1s., #d., 2s., 1s., 1s.,
2s. 6d. ; also out of the box in my room, 17.2s. 6d. ; two
large iron pots were sent anonymously. March 4, 107.,
10s., 3s., 7d., 10s., 2s. 6d., 10s., 10s., 3s. ; all these offer-
ings were sent from Clapham ; also a desk. March 5.
Some fancy worsted and 1s., the produce of the sale of
Some old map rollers. March 7. 4.s., 10s., 5s., 5s., 2s. 6d.,
2s. 6d., 2s., 2s. 6d., 5s. : all these offerings were sent from
Cleve, also 5s. ; also, from a distance of about 100 miles,
was sent the valuable and useful present of five pewter
dishes, three dozen pewter plates, three dozen metal
Spoons, two coral necklaces, a pair of coral ear-rings, and
a large gold brooch—the trinkets to be sold for the bene-
fit of the Orphan-House. Also from the same place was
sent 10s. “which had been laid up for a time of need, but
which were sent, because the donor thought that the time
of trust in the Lord in Bristol was her time of need to
ive.”
March 10. 8s., 1s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 6d., 6d., 6d., 1d., 4d.,
4d., 4d., 5s., 2s. March 11. 17., 5s. March 13. A little
girl sent, from a distance of more than 200 miles, 2s. 6d.
March 14. A brother at Plymouth promised to send 207.,
also 4s. were given. March 15. 7d., 10s., 6d., 1s., 1s., 1d.,
6d. March 16. 1s. ; anonymously was sent from London
1!., also 2s. 6d. March 18. 10s. March 19. 3s., 1s., 4d.,
4d., 4d., 4d. March 21. 4s. March 22. 11. March 23.
A large deal box, also anonymously six dishes. March 24.
5s. March 25. A ton of coals. March 27. 11., 17., 17.,
10s. ; these offerings were sent from Trowbridge, also 10s.
Erom the Isle of Wight, 21., 27., 11., 10s., a large piece of
green baize, and two metal spoons. March 28. 11., 4s.,
3d., 3!., 10s., 6s., 10s., 2s. 6d., 5s., 5s., also an iron kettle
and some drugget. March 29. 1s. 8d., 1s. 3d., 1s., 1s. 6d.
March 31. 2s.
April 2. 1s., 2s. 6d., 6d., 6d., also six blankets, two
counterpanes, four sheets, eight bonnets, five frocks, six
pinafores, with the promise to send also six chemises (sent
since). April 4. 4.s., 1s., 1s, 8d., 1s., 1d., 1s., 3d, 6s.,
2s. 6d., 17., 17., 3s., also 14 tippets, three pinafores, one
frock, three chemises (two more promised), six flannel
petticoats; also six stuff petticoats; also six flannel pet-
ticoats (and six chemises promised), also a sheet. April 5.
2l., 7s., 6d, 6d, 4d., 4d., 1d., 4d, 6d. April 6. One dozen
Q
170 [A.D. 1836.
of washing basins and one jug. April 7. 2s. 2d., 3s., 1s.,
2s. 2d., 1s. 1d. April 8. 10s., 10s., 6d., 1s., 2s., also a
bench. April 9. 4d., 4d., 4d., 4d., 2s., also three knives
and forks, also some marking ink. April 10. Two patent
locks. April 11. 4s. April 12. 1s., 8d., 2s., a jug, also
twelve bonnets and six tippets. April 13. A set of fire
irons, a tea kettle, a coal box, a tin saucepan, a tripod, a
tea pot, three cups and saucers, a wash-hand basin, three
small basins, and two plates. April 15. 10s., 10s. April 16.
5l., also ll., and 22 Hymn Books. Also anonymously were
sent two dozen pocket handkerchiefs, also a hymn, “The
Orphan's Hope,” in a frame. April 17. A cask, also a
hundred weight of treacle, and 36 pounds of moist sugar.
April 18, 4s. April 19. 2s. 6d., 1s. April 20. A new
bedstead. From Clapham were sent 211. and 111., like-
wise three flannel petticoats, some print, six frocks, four
pinafores, seven tippets, 12 caps, 14 chemises, 24 furnished
work bags, 12 pocket handkerchiefs, 16 pairs of stockings,
one pair of sleeves; besides this, with an orphan child,
was sent from Clapham, a complete new outfit.
April 21. 21., 2s., 1s., 6d., 6d, 6d., 5s., 2s., also two
candlesticks, a pepper-box, and a handkerchief. April 22.
1s., 10s., 2s. 6d., 2s. 23d., also a long handle brush and
6d., also an ironing blanket, and 32 yards of flannel.
April 23, 27, 5s., 10s., a cheese, and 18 pounds of beef.
April 25. 1s. and eight plates. April 26. 6d., 6d., 5s.
April 27. 10d. April 28. 1s., also two tons of coal, also
two patch-work quilts, 15 work bags and pin cushions,
12 needle cases, three little bags, one tippet, two pairs
of stockings, one kettle holder, also six pairs of worsted
stockings.
May 2. 8s., 11., 10s. May 3. 8d., 2s. 6d, and a pair of
shoes. May 4. A gentleman and lady, who saw the In-
stitution, left six chemises, seven pocket handkerchiefs,
two flannel petticoats, four pairs of stockings, and four
pairs of gloves; there were also sent 18 thimbles, a gross
of buttons, a gross of hooks and eyes. May. 5. 2s. 6d., 1s.
May 6. 15 pairs of worsted stockings. May 7. 5s., 2s. 6d.
May 8. 5s., 6d., 2s. 6d. May 9, 4s., 10s., 6d., 4d, 4d, 4d.
May 10. 6d., 4d, 6d, 6d, 4d., 1d., 4d., 2s. May 11.
11., 2s. 6d., 1s., May 13. A bonnet, also a dish, sent by
a poor person in an almshouse; a well-wisher sent, for
Wittle orphan boys, six frock pinafores, six little shirts, six
A. D. 1836. 171
frocks and trousers. May 14. 9 pounds of soap. May 15.
S. S. 2s. 6d. May 16. 4s. May 17. Out of the box in
the Orphan-House, 3s. 0#d., also 1s.
1. It may be well to state, that the above results have
followed in answer to prayer, without any one having been
asked by me for one single thing, from which I have re-
frained, not on account of want of confidence in the bre-
thren, or because I doubted their love to the Lord, but
that I might see the hand of God so much the more
clearly. For as the work has been begun without any
visible support, in dependance only upon the living God,
it was of the utmost importance to be sure of his appro-
bation at the very commencement.
2. From this statement, and from that contained in the
last printed account, it will be seen how the Lord, in a
great measure, has already answered the petition of De-
cember 5, 1835; for an house has been given, suitable
individuals have offered themselves to take care of the
children, and much more furniture, and many more arti-
cles of clothing have been sent than I ever had expected.
The only part of the prayer which has not been as yet
quite fulfilled is, that which respects the 1000l., which,
however, the Lord, I doubt not, will likewise send in his
own time. In the mean time, let my brethren help me
to praise him, that he has sent already more than one half
of that sum, and therefore more than for the present has
been needed. *r
3. So far as I remember, Ibrought even the most minute
circumstances concerning the Orphan-House before the
Lord in my petitions, being conscious of my own weak-
ness and ignorance. There was, however, one point I
never had prayed about, namely, that the Lord would send
children; for I naturally took it for granted that there
would be plenty of applications. The nearer, however,
the day came, which had been appointed for receiving ap-
plications, the more I had a secret consciousness, that
the Lord might disappoint my natural expectations, and
show me that I could not prosper in one single thing
without him. The appointed time came, and not even
one application was made. I had before this been re-
peatedly tried, whether I might not, after all, against the
Lord’s mind, have engaged in the work, This circum-
Q 2
172 [A.D. 1836.
stance now led me to lie low before my God in prayer the
whole of the evening, February 3, and to examine my
heart once more as to all the motives concerning it ; and
being able as formerly to say, that his glory was my chief
aim, i. e., that it might be seen that it is not a vain thing
to trust in the living God, and that my second aim was
the spiritual welfare of the orphan-children,_and the
third their bodily welfare; and still continuing in prayer,
I was at last brought to this state, that I could say from
my heart, that I should rejoice in God being glorified in
this matter, though it were by bringing the whole to no-
thing. But as still, after all, it seemed to me more tend-
ing to the glory of God, to establish and prosper the
Orphan-House, I could then ask him heartily, to send
applications. I enjoyed now a peaceful state of heart
concerning the subject, and was also more assured than
ever that God would establish it. The very meat day,
February 4, the first application was made, and since then
42 more have been made.
4. The house mentioned in the last printed account,
which we had intended to rent, having been let before any
applications had been made, and nothing more having
been done about the premises offered as a gift, on account
of the want of money needed to complete the building, I
rented, at least for one year, the house No. 6, Wilson
Street, as being, on account of its cheapness and large-
ness, very suitable, and in which, up to March 25th, I
had been living myself. Having furnished it for 30 chil-
dren, we began on April 11th, 1836, to take them in, and
on April 21st the Institution was opened by a day being
set apart for prayer and thanksgiving. There are now
26 children in the house, and a few more are expected
daily. They are under the care of a matron and governess.
5. In the last printed account it was mentioned that
we intended to take in the children from the seventh to
the twelfth year. But after six applications had been
made for children between four and six years of age, it
became a subject of solemn and prayerful consideration,
whether, as long as there were vacancies, such children
should not be received, though so young. For it appeared
to me, that if it becomes the saints to care in this way,
according to their ability, for those whom God has be-
reaved of both parents, when they become seven years of
A.D. 1836.] 173
age, that it becomes them equally so, to take care of them
whilst they are under seven years, and therefore com-
pletely unable to help themselves. Further, orphan
children are often left to themselves, and thus, at the age
of 11 or 12 years, have already made much progress in
wickedness. Therefore I came at last to the conclusion
to take in the little girls under seven years of age, for
whom application had been made. Further, there are
exceedingly few institutions in the kingdom, in which
infant orphans are received, and provided with scriptural
education. Further, it has been repeatedly brought
before me, how desirable it would be to establish also in
this city an orphan-house for male children, and there
were even the above-mentioned articles sent for little
orphan boys. Partly, then, on account of these reasons;
and partly because the Institution already opened will be
quite filled in a few days, and applications continue to be
made; and partly, because the Lord has done hitherto
far above what I could have expected: I have at last,
after repeated prayer, come to the conclusion, in the name
of the Lord, and in dependance upon him alone for sup-
port, to propose the establishment of an Infant-Orphan-
House. It is intended to open this Institution, as soon
as suitable premises and individuals, to take care of the
children, &c., have been obtained.
a. It is intended to receive into this Infant-Orphan-
IHouse destitute male and female infants bereaved of both
parents, from their earliest days up to the seventh year,
and to provide them with food, clothing, needful attend-
ance, and Scriptural education.
b. It is intended to let the female children stay up to
the seventh year in the Infant-Orphan-House, and then
to remove them to the Institution already opened, till
they are able to go to service.
c. It is also intended, as far as the Lord may help, to
provide for the boys, when they are above seven years,
though we cannot at present say in what manner.
In proposing the establishment of this second Orphan-
EIouse, I do it in the same simple dependance upon God
alone, as in the case of the former. And feeling my own
weakness, and knowing that it is not in my power to give
faith to myself, I ask the brethren to help me with their
prayers, that my faith may not fail.

Q 3
174 [A.D. 1836.
6. To avoid misunderstandings, I would expressly state,
that both the last mentioned Institution, and the One
already opened, are for orphan children living in any part
of the United Kingdom.
GEORGE MüLLER.
Bristol, May 18, 1836.
June 3. From May 16 up to this day I have been con-
fined to the house, and a part of the time to my bed, on
account of a local inflammation, which keeps me from
walking. Almost every day during this time I have been
able to continue writing a narrative of the Lord’s dealings
with me, which had been again laid aside after May 7, on
account of a number of pressing engagements. It is very
remarkable, that the greatest objection against writing
it for the press was want of time. Now, through this
affliction, which leaves my mind free, and gives me time,
on account of confinement to the house, I have been able
to write about 100 quarto pages. May the Lord in
mercy teach me about this matter
June 8. I am still getting better. The abscess is now
open. This affliction has been, by the mercy of the Lord,
an exceedingly light one. Not one day have I had
severe pain, and not one day have I been kept altogether
from working. June 9. I was able to go again to-day
to the Orphan-House, and to read the Scriptures with the
children. This day came three more children, who have
made up our number, so that there are now thirty in the
house.
June 11. I am, by the mercy of God, still getting
better, but, as yet, unable to walk about. All this week
I have been again enabled to go on writing for the press.
June 12. To-day the Lord very kindly allowed me to
preach again, and that most undeservedly, and much
sooner than I could have expected. June 14. This morn-
ing brother C r and I prayed unitedly, chiefly about
the schools and the circulation of the Scriptures. Besides
asking for blessings upon the work, we have also asked
the Lord for the means which are needed; for on July 1,
177. 10s. will be due for the rent of school-rooms, and,
besides this, we want at least 40l. more to go on with
the circulation of the Scriptures, to pay the salaries of
A.D. 1836.] 175
the masters, &c. Towards all this we have only about 71.
I also prayed for the remainder of the 1,000l. for the
Orphan-House.
June 18. We have had for many weeks past, generally
little money for our personal expenses, which has been a
trial to us, not on our own account, but because we have
thus been able to do but very little for the poor brethren.
To-day, Saturday, we have 3s. left, just enough to pay for
a fly to take me to and bring me back from Bethesda to-
morrow, as I am unable to walk. This money we should
not have had, but for our baker, a brother, who refused
to-day to take money for the usual quantity of bread,
which we daily take.
June 21. This evening brother C r and I found,
that the Lord has not only been pleased to send us,
through the offerings which have come in during the last
week, in answer to our prayers, the 171. 10s. which will
be due for the rent of two school-rooms on July 1st, but
that we have 5l. more than is needed. Thus the Lord
once more has answered our prayers.
June25. Saturday. We have been again helped through
this week, as it regards our personal need, and have 3s.
left, though we had many shillings to pay for riding about.
Now the Lord has put it into the hearts of some of his
children, to provide me with a fly every Lord’s-day, as
long as I may need it.
July 1. To-day a suit of new clothes was given to me,
which came very seasonably. May this fresh instance of
the Lord’s loving kindness lead me to love him more ;
and may he also be pleased richly to reward those brethren,
who have thus ministered to my need! July 16. To-day
a brother sent me a new hat, the seventh which in suc-
cession has been given to me.
July 28. For some weeks past we have not been able
to pay the salary of the masters and governesses a month
Žn advance, but have been obliged to pay it weekly.
Brother C r and I have lately prayed repeatedly
together respecting the funds, but we were now brought
so low, that we should not have been able to pay even this
weekly salary of the teachers, had not the Lord most
remarkably helped us again to-day. For besides 11, which
was given to us, this evening a brother gave 8!., which
sum had been made up by a number of his workmen
176 [A.D. 1836.
paying weekly one penny each, of their own accord, towards
our funds. The money had been collecting for many
months, and, in this our necessity, it had been put into
the heart of this brother to bring it. My faith has been
greatly strengthened through this circumstance. For
before to-day, though I never have been in the least
allowed to doubt the Lord’s faithfulness, I did not under-
stand his purpose in his dealings with us of late, in not
sending us more than we have needed just to be kept
from stopping; and I have sometimes thought, whether
it might not be his will, on account of my want of faith-
fulness in his work, to decrease the field; but now I see,
that notwithstanding my unworthiness, his allowing us to
pray so frequently, was only that the deliverance might
be felt so much the more when it came.
July 29. This evening from six to half-past nine we had
again a meeting for inquirers. There came twelve fresh
cases before us, and there were six more than we could
see. Thus we saw, that the work of the Lord, even as
it regards conversion, is still going on among us.
October 1. To-day in dependance upon the Lord
alone for means, we engaged a brother as a master for a
sixth day school. Last Saturday, for the first time, we
were so low in funds, that we needed 17. more than we
had, to pay the salaries a week in advance; but one sister,
on account of the death of her father, as we afterwards
learned, was kept from calling for her money, and on the
next day we received more than was needed to pay her.
On account, therefore, of the many deliverances which we
have had of late, we have not hesitated to enlarge the
field, as another boys' school was greatly needed, there
having been many applications for admission standing
these several months past.
October 5. This evening 25l. was given to me for the
Scriptural Knowledge Institution. Thus the Lord has
already given the means of defraying the expenses of the
new boys' school for some months to come.
October 19. To-day, after having many times prayed
respecting this matter, I have at last engaged a sister as
matron for the Infant-Orphan-House, never having been
able, up to this day, to meet with an individual who
seemed suitable: though there has been money enough
in hand for some time past for commencing this work,
A.D. 1836.] 177
and there have been also applications made for several in-
fant orphans.
October 25. To-day we obtained without any trouble,
through the kind hand of God, very suitable premises for
the Infant-Orphan-House. If we had laid out many
hundred pounds in building a house, we could scarcely
have built one more suitable for the purpose. How evi-
dent is the hand of God in all these matters How
important to leave our concerns, great and small, with
him; for he arranges all things well ! If our work be his
work, we shall prosper in it.
November 30. On account, as I suppose, of many
pressing engagements, I had not been led for some time
past to pray respecting the funds. But being in great need,
I was led yesterday morning, earnestly to ask the Lord,
and in answer to this petition a brother gave me last
evening 10l. He had had it in his heart, for several
months past, to give this sum, but had been hitherto kept
from it, not having the means. Just now, in this our
great necessity, the Lord furnished him with the means,
and we were helped in this way. In addition to this
10l., I received last evening a letter with 5l., from a sister
whom I never saw, and who has been several times used
by God as an instrument to supply our wants. She
writes thus: “It has been so much on my mind lately to
send you some money, that I feel as if there must be
some need, which the Lord purposes to honour me by
making me the instrument of supplying. I therefore en-
close you 5l., all I have in the house at this moment ; but
if you have occasion for it, and will let me know, I will
send you as much more.” Besides these two donations,
I received to-day 31. 3s.
T)ecember 15. This day was set apart for prayer and
thanksgiving respecting the Infant-Orphan-House, which
was opened on November 28. In the morning we had a
prayer-meeting. In the afternoon, besides prayer and
thanksgiving, I addressed the children of our day-schools
and the orphans, about 350, on Ecclesiastes xii. 1. In the
evening I gave a further account of the Orphan-Houses,
commencing from the time when the last printed account
had been issued, dated May 18, 1836. The substance of
this account was printed, and is reprinted here for the
sake of those who are as yet unacquainted with it.

178 [A. D. 1836.
Further account of the Orphan-House for Female Orphans
above Seven Years of Age; and Opening of the Infant-
Orphan-House, for destitute Male and Female Orphans
under Seven Years of Age.
It is now a twelve-month since the proposal for the
establishment of an Orphan-House was first made. Since
then the Lord has given me almost all I requested of
him, and in some respects even more. This was in part
stated in the last two papers which were printed on this
subject, dated January 16, and May 18, 1836. Of the
1,000l. which I had asked of God on December 5, 1835,
I had actually received on May 18, 1836, 450l. 13s.6%d.;
and besides this, 70l. had been promised by two brethren.
As it regards premises, articles of clothing, furniture,
&c., I had received even beyond my petition. I have now
the pleasure of detailing, still further, how God has con-
tinued to answer my prayers since May 18, 1836.
May 19th was given 11. 23rd, 17. and 4s. There were
also sent two buckets and 1s. 24th, 10s. 6d., 2d., 1s. 6d.
25th, one pound of butter, 2s., 1s., 1s. There was also
sent 14s, and in the paper was written: “The history of
this money is: A lady was going to purchase a dress. The
enclosed sum was the difference between the fashionable
one, which took her fancy, and one less fashionable. So
she thought, the orphans should profit by this sacrifice of
her fancy.” May 27th, there was left at my house a
sovereign, and in the paper was written: “l Thess. v.
25.” [Pause with me a few moments, dear reader, before
going on with the account. In preparing the third edition
for the press, I have been struck with the very many
cases in which individuals, who are spoken of in this Nar-
rative, are no more in the land of the living. So it is
with the two donors of the last mentioned sums. The
dear sister who would not indulge her fancy in having a
more fashionable dress, but who would rather give the
fourteen shillings, which thus could be saved, to the
orphans, has been with her Lord for more than two years.
Will she regret, not having indulged her fancy in that in-
stance P Will she now suffer loss on account of it P
Surely not l—The dear brother, who gave the sovereign,
was a gracious devoted clergyman of the City of Bristol.
He had written in the paper in which the sovereign was
A.D. 1836.] 179
enclosed, “1 Thess. v. 25.” (“Brethren, pray for us.”)
This dear man of God does now no longer need our
prayers. He entered into his rest several years ago.
Yet a little while, dear believing reader, and, if the coming
of the Lord prevent not, we too shall fall asleep in Jesus.
Therefore, let us work, “while it is day: the night cometh,
when no man can work.” And “Whatsoever thy hand
findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work,
nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave,
whither thou goest.”—But how would it be with you,
dear reader, if you are unprepared, and should be taken
out of the world? Ilet me beseech you to seek the Lord
while he may be found. Jesus died to save sinners. He
shed his blood. He fulfilled the law of God, and died
the JUST for the UNJUST : and whosoever depends for sal-
Vation upon his perfect obedience, and upon his sufferings
and death, shall be saved, for God hath said it.] May
28th, A fender and two coal scuttles. 29th, 5l. 30th,
4s. Also 2s. 6d., with two gowns and a tippet. The
brother who left a sovereign with “1 Thess. v. 25,” gave
to-day 10s. more; 2s. 4d. June 1st, from a few sisters
in Dublin, nine pocket handkerchiefs, 193 yards of stuff,
and forty-two yards of print. 4th, 5s. 6d., eighteen little
books. 5th, 6d., 4d., 4d., 4d. 6th, 4s. 7th, 5s. 1d.,
2l. 2s. 6d. 8th, 4d., 1s., 1s., 3s. 9th, six pairs of gentle-
men’s trousers, two coats, one waistcoat, five pairs of
socks, two gowns—all worn. 10th, 17., also from a friend
in Ireland 17, 12th, S. S. 2s. 6d. 13th, 4s., 5l. 14th,
1s. 1d., 1s., 2s. 6d., 6d., 1s., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 3s. 3d., 1s. 1d.,
ls. 1d. 15th, a brother at Plymouth sent 25l., 20!, of which
had been previously promised. 18th, 11, 1d., 64 pounds
of bacon, a form, a chopping knife. 19th, 11.1s., 10s.; 12s.
by sale of ornaments. 20th, 4s. Also from Teignmouth,
5s., 5s., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 3!., 10s., 2s. 6d.,
1s. 1d., 5s., together with a gown, a boy’s pinafore, a pair
of socks, coloured cotton for three children’s frocks, two
babies' bed gowns, and five babies' night caps. 21st, 57.
10s., 6d, 4d., 2d., 4d., 2d., 6d., 6d., twenty pounds of bacon
and ten pounds of cheese. 22d, box in the Orphan-House,
2s. 1; d. 24th, 2s. 6d., 3s. 8; d. 27th, 4s. 28th, 2s. 6d.,
4s., 4d., 6d., 10s., 6s. 6d. 29th, six straw bonnets. 30th,
5s., 21. July 4th, 6d., 4d., 4d., 4d., 4s. There was also
sent from “two orphans” 48l., 1s. 1d., 10s., 8s. 6d., 2s. 6d.,
180 [A.D. 1836.
1s. 1d., 1s. 1d., 1s. 1d., 1s. 4d. 5th, 1s., 1s. 2d., 8d., 4s.,
4d., 1s. 6th, six new cane chairs. 7th, 2l., 12s., 10s., 2s.
8th, 1s., 2s. 6d., 3s. 10th, 10s., 10s., 11., 11. 11th, 8s.,
13s. 12th, 13s. 2d 13th, 12s. 14th, there were sent
six chemises, which had been promised on April 14th. Also
fourteen pin cushions. 15th, six night caps, and 2 petti-
coats. 20th, 10s., 5s., 17., 6d., 2d., 6d., 6d, 4d., 6d., 4d.,
2d., 4d. 24th, 17, 25th, 8s., S. S. 5s. Also 25% yards
of print, 12 little shawls, and 16 yards of flannel. 26th, box
in the Orphan-House 8s. 9d., 4d. 27th, two pairs of shoes.
28th, 3s. 8; d. 29th, 2s. 6d., 6d., 4d., 4d., 4d. August 1st,
4s., 11.10s, two chemises, three night caps, and ten pocket
handkerchiefs; two chemises, three night caps, and six poc-
ket handkerchiefs. 2nd, 8d., 1s., 1s. 3d, 1s. 3d., 1s., 1s., 6d.,
5s., 2s. 6d., 1s., 1d., 1d., one patch work quilt. 5th, 6s.
8th, 4s. 10th, a box, six canisters, and an inkstand. 13th,
5s. 15th, 11., S. S. 2s. 6d., 4s. 16th, 6d., 6d., 4d., 4d.,
4d., 6d., 1s., 1s. 6d. 19th, 1s. 2; d. 23rd, 1s., 10s., 11.,
2s. 6d. September 1st, 1s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 2s., 1s., 4d, 6d.,
4.d., 6d., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 1s. 6d., 6d., 6d., 2d, 11., 11.,
twelve chemises, one worn stuff frock, 4d., 4d., a basket of
apples, and three pounds of sugar. 3rd, 17., 5l. 5th, 12s.
7th, 5s., 2s. 6d. 8th, 5s. 13th, 1s., 1s., 1s., 2s. 6d., 2s.
6d., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 2s. 8d., 1s., 1s. 1d., 1s. 1d., 2d., 6d.,
6d., 2s. 6d, 6d. 14th, 11., 10s., 10s., 14 pinafores, a basket
of apples. 19th, 8s., 2s. 6d. Rox in the Orphan-House,
17. 6s. 1+d., 10s. 20th, 6d., 6d., 4d., 4d., 1d., 4d. 27th,
several numbers of the “Record” were sent to be sold for
the benefit of the Orphan-House, 4d., 4d., 2s., 2s. 6d. 30th,
Il. was given as “A. Thank-offering for spiritual mercies
vouchsafed to a child.” Also Mr. B , Sen., Surgeon,
kindly offered, to-day, to give his attendance and medicine
gratuitously to the orphans. October 1st, 6d., 4d, 4d., 4d.
A worn cloak. 3rd,8s., 3s. 3d., 1s. A gallon of dried peas.
4th, 11. 3s.6d. 10th, 4s., 1s. 1d., 1s. 1d., 1s. 1d., 1s. 11th,
10s., 2d., 6d., 3s. 3d. 14th, 4% gallons of beer. 16th, three
tippets, 8d., 4d., 5s., 5s., 5s., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 10s., 10s., 2s.,
1s., 1s., 2s. 6d., 5s. 17th, 4s. 18th, 10s., 6d., 6d., 4d.,
4d., 6d., 1d., 4d., 1s. 19th, 11. 24th, 4s. 25th, three
frocks, two pinafores, two tippets, three pairs of sleeves,
10s., 10s., 4d., 1s. 27th, three tippets. Anonymously was
sent by post, 10s., with the request that prayer should be
made for the donor, for divine guidance under circum-
A.D. 1836.] 181
stances of much doubt and anxiety. 29th, 12 cloth tip-
pets. 31st, 4s. November 2nd, 1s. 3d., 1s. 3d., 1s.
4th, two little cloaks, four quarterns of bread. 5th, two
turkeys, 6d., 4d, 4d, 4d. There was also given by a bro-
ther 1001,–50l. of which was previously promised, to en-
sure the rent for premises. It is a remarkable fact con-
cerning this donation, that I had, in December of last
year, repeatedly asked the Lord to incline the heart of
this brother to give one hundred pounds, and I made a
memorandum of this prayer in my journal of December
12, 1835. On January 25th, 1836, fifty pounds was pro-
mised by him, and on November 5, fifty pounds besides
that sum was given; but it was not till some days after,
that I remembered, that the very sum for which I had
asked the Lord had been given. Thus we often may
receive an answer to prayer, and scarcely remember that
it is an answer. When it came to my mind that this
prayer had been noted down in my journal, and I showed
it to the donor, we rejoiced together; he, to have been the
instrument in giving, and I to have had the request
granted. November 6th, S. S. 7s. 6d. 7th, anonymously
was sent a ton of coals, 4s., one petticoat, two pairs of
gloves, two ruffs. 8th, 5!., 2s. 2d., 3s., 2s. 2d., 2s. 2d.,
ls. 6d., 2d., 6d., 1s. 6d., 2s. 6d., 2s. 6d. 14th, there was
given 201. for the Orphan-House, and 207 for the Infant-
Orphan-House. Both papers, in which the money was
enclosed, contained these words: “If the Lord prolongs
the life of the unworthy giver of the enclosed, the same
sum will be given at Christmas.”—It has been more than
once observed to me, that I could not expect to continue
to receive large sums; for that persons, when first such
an institution is established, might be stirred up to give
liberally, but that afterwards one had to look to a number
of regular subscribers, and that, if those were lacking, it
was not likely that such a work could go on. On such
occasions, I have said but little ; but I have had the
fullest assurance, that it is a small matter for the Lord to
incline donors to give liberally, a second or third time, if
it were for our real welfare. And accordingly the donor,
above referred to, added to the first 50l. another 50l., and
the last mentioned benefactor, to the 50l. given on a for-
mer occasion, added the just mentioned 40l., with the
promise to give another 40l. at Christmas. I would only
JR
182 [A.D. 1836.
add on this subject, that there are some subscribers, and
even some who give considerably; yet I would state, for
the Lord’s glory, that if they were twenty times as many, I
should desire that my eyes might not be directed to
them, but to the Lord alone, and that I might be enabled
to take the payment of every subscription as a donation
from HIM. On the other hand, if there were no sub-
scribers at all, yet the Lord, who heareth prayer, is rich to
give according to our need.—There was given also to-day,
“A widow’s mite” 10s.--also 4d. November 14th, 4s.,
also four ducks. For the Infant-Orphan-House : five
frocks, four shirts, four chemises, a bed gown, two petti-
coats; three quarterns of bread. 15th, 6d, 6d., 4d, 6d.,
4d. 16th, by sale of trinkets, 11. 5s., 4s. 18th, anony-
mously were sent, a boy’s cap, a bonnet, a small piece of
print. 19th, four quarterms of bread. 21st, 4.s., 2s. 6d.
22nd, 4d, 6d, 6d. 23rd, three frocks, a tippet, six pairs
of sheets, three pairs of blankets. 25th, 12 hymn books,
a worn cloak, a new tent bedstead. 27th, anonymously
put into Bethesda boxes 5s. 28th, 4s. 29th, two tur-
keys. 30th, 10s., five yards of blanketing, a worn
shawl. December 1st, a patch-work quilt and five yards
of print, 3d., 10s. 4th, 11. 5s. 5th, 4s., 11. 5s. 6th,
6d., 2d., a worn cloak, a petticoat, a piece of linen for
window curtains. 8th, box in the Orphan-House 2!. 4s.
1%d. 9th, 12. Also 11., with “Mark ix. 36, 37,” written
on the paper. A most encouraging passage for this work,
the force of which I had never felt before.—About a
hundred weight of treacle.
I. From this statement it appears, that 7707. 0s. 9%d.
has been actually given, and that 40l. is promised. All
the money, and all the articles of furniture, clothing, pro-
vision, &c., have been given, without one individual
having been asked by me for any thing, from which I have
still refrained, that the Lord’s own hand might be clearly
seen in the matter, and that the whole might clearly
appear as an answer to prayer.
II. After frequent prayer, that, if it were the will of
God, he would be pleased to send us a Matron and
Governess for the Infant-Orphan-House, this petition also
has been answered. In addition to this we obtained a
convenient house for the purpose, No. 1, Wilson Street,
together with a piece of ground for a play-ground; and

A.D. 1836.] 183
we therefore began to furnish it on November 21st, and
on November 28th we took in the first children.
III. Of late it has appeared well to us to employ
some of the strongest and eldest girls of the Orphan-
House in the work of the Infant-Orphan-House, under
the direction of the Matron and Governess. From this
plan it appeared the following advantages would result.
1st. Thus the wages which we should have to pay to
assistants would be saved. 2nd. Without any further
expense to the Institution, we should in this way be able
to support five or six orphans more. 3rd. If thus the
bigger girls of the Orphan-House pass through the Infant-
Orphan-House, before they are sent into service, they
will be accustomed to nursery work, which is so important
for young servants. 4th. This plan would allow us to
have the bigger girls longer under our care, as we should
have full employment for them.
[In the original paper follow eight other paragraphs,
containing the audited account and various other points
of information respecting the two Orphan-Houses, which,
at the time when this Report was issued, were of impor-
tance to the donors, but are left out now, as it seems
desirable to make this edition of the Narrative as concise
as may be. This plan has been also adopted concerning
the three previous papers, and will be further adhered to.]
GEORGE MüLLER.
Bristol, Dec. 20, 1836.
December 31. We had this evening a prayer-meeting
to praise the Lord for his goodness during the past year,
and to ask him for a continuance of his favours during
the coming year. We continued together till half-past
eleven. During the past year there have been received
into the church of Gideon, 23 brethren and sisters, and
into that of Bethesda, 29—altogether 52. Of these 52,
31 have been brought to the knowledge of the Lord
through the instrumentality of brother Craik and me.
There have now been admitted into Gideon church, 79
brethren and sisters who have been converted through
our instrumentality, and 86 into the church of Bethesda:
165 seals to our ministry in Bristol. Besides this, several
have fallen asleep in the faith who never were in commu-
R 2
184 [A.D. 1837.
nion with us; several of our spiritual children are con-
nected with other churches in and out of Bristol; and
many are now standing as hopeful characters on the list
of candidates for fellowship. There have been added to
the church at Gideon, since we came to Bristol, 154; to
the church at Bethesda, 193—altogether 347; so that
the number of both churches would be 415 (68 believers
we found at Gideon), had there been no changes; but :
Of Gideon church are
under church discipline 5; of Bethesda 8; altogether 18
Do. have fallen asleep 15 do. 7 do. 22
T}o. have left Bristol 12 do. 6 do. 18
Do. have left us, but are
still in Bristol . . 9 do. 4 do. 13
41 25 66
There are, therefore, at present, in fellowship with us
at Gideon 181, and at Bethesda 168—altogether 349.
The Lord has been pleased to give me during the past
year, as it regards my temporal supplies:—
£. s. d.
1. In offerings through the boxes . . . 133 8 9
2. In presents of money, from brethren in
and out of Bristol . . . . . . . . . 56 13 0
3. Through family connexion . . . . . 5 0 0
4. Besides this have been sent to us clothes,
provisions, &c. which were worth to us at least 30 0 0
5. We have been living half free of rent
during the last nine months, whereby we have
saved at least . . . . . . . . . . 7 10 0
£ 232 11 9
January 2, 1837. This evening the two churches had
again an especial prayer meeting, which was continued
till half-past ten.
January 5. To-day a sister called, and told me about
the conversion of her father, who in his eightieth year,
after having for many years lived openly in sin, is at last
brought to the knowledge of the Lord. May this en-
courage the children of God to continue to pray for their
aged parents and other persons; for this sister had long
A.D. 1837.] 185
prayed for the conversion of her father, and at last,
though only after twenty years, the Lord gave her the
desire of her heart. It was an especial refreshment to
my spirit to hear the particulars of this case, as I had
known so much of the sinful life of this aged sinner.
January 31, and February 2. These two days we have
had especial meetings for prayer and humiliation, on ac-
count of the influenza, to acknowledge the hand of God
in this chastisement, as the disease is so prevalent in
Bristol.
April 8. There are now 60 children in the two Orphan-
FIouses, 30 in each.
April 22. The Lord has mercifully stayed the typhus
fever in the Orphan-House, in answer to prayer. There
were only two cases, and the children are recovering.
April 24. This evening we had a comfortable meeting
with 30 brethren and sisters over the word. (Of late,
brother Craik and I have frequently set apart an evening,
generally once a week, to meet with ten, twenty, or thirty
brethren and sisters, to take tea with them, and to spend
the rest of the evening in prayer and meditation over the
Scriptures. We began these meetings chiefly on account
of having thus an opportunity of seeing more of the
saints, as the greatness of the number of those in com-
munion with us makes it impossible to see them as often
in their houses, as it might be profitable, or as often as we
desire. We commenced these meetings in our own
houses, choosing those in particular, of whom we had seen
little. After we had had several meetings in our own
houses, we were invited by the brethren and sisters, and
they have asked others to meet us. Sometimes also we
have proposed those for invitation whom we see but
seldom. These meetings we have found both for our-
selves and others very useful, and they will, no doubt,
continue to be a blessing as long as the Lord shall enable
us to precede and follow them with prayer. They are also
particularly important as a means of the brethren becom-
ing acquainted with each other, and of uniting their
hearts.)
April 25th. To-day a brother gave me a new hat.
This is the eighth hat which I have had given to me in
succession, so that whenever I have needed a new one, or
even before, the Lord has kindly supplied me with one.
B 3
186 [A.D. 1837.
IMay 13. To-day I have had again much reason to mourn
over my corrupt nature, particularly on account of want
of gratitude for the many temporal mercies by which I
am surrounded. I was so sinful as to be dissatisfied on
account of the dinner, because I thought it would not
agree with me, instead of thanking God for the rich pro-
vision, and asking heartily the Lord’s blessing upon it,
and remembering the many dear children of God who
would have been glad of such a meal. I rejoice in the
prospect of that day when, in seeing Jesus as he is, I
shall be like him. May 14. Lord’s-day. The Lord, in-
stead of chastising me to-day for the ingratitude and dis-
content of yesterday, by leaving me to my own strength
in preaching, and bringing temporal want upon me, has
given me a good day. I have preached with much assis-
tance and comfort, and the Tord has given me rich tem-
poral supplies; for besides the freewill offerings of 27.8s.
10d., a 5l. note was put into my hand for the supply of
any want I may have. Thus the Lord melted the heart
by love, and made me still more see the baseness of my
conduct yesterday. Thanks be to God, the day is coming,
when Satan will triumph no more !
May 18. There are now 64 children in the two Orphan-
Houses, and two more are expected, which will fill the
two houses.
May 28. The narrative of some of the Lord's dealings
with me is now near being published, which has led me
again most earnestly this day week, and repeatedly since,
to ask the Lord, that he would be pleased to give me what
is wanting of the 1000l., for which sum I have asked him
on behalf of the orphans; for though, in my own mind,
the thing is as good as done, so much so, that I have
repeatedly been able to thank God, that he will surely
give me every shilling of that sum, yet to others this
would not be enough. As the whole matter, then, about
the Orphan-House had been commenced for the glory of
God, that in this way before the world and the church
there might be another visible proof, that the Lord
delights in answering prayer; and as there was yet a part
of the 1000l. wanting; and as I earnestly desired, the
book might not leave the press, before every shilling of
that sum had been given, in answer to prayer, without one
single individual having been asked by me for any thing,
A D. 1837.] 187
that thus I might have the sweet privilege of bearing
my testimony for God in this book:—for these reasons, I
say, I have given myself earnestly to prayer about this
matter since May 21. On May 22 came in 7l. 10s., and
on May 23, 31. On May 24 a lady, whom I never saw
before, called on me and gave me 40l. This circumstance
has greatly encouraged me ; for the Lord showed me
thereby afresh his willingness to continue to send us large
sums, and that they can even come from individuals whom
we have never seen before. On May 25th 31.6s. was sent
from two unexpected quarters. On May 27 was sent,
anonymously, a parcel of worn clothes from London and
a sovereign. To-day (May 28) I received again 4l. 3s.6d. ;
and also a parcel was sent from a considerable dis-
tance, containing seven pairs of socks, and the following
trinkets, to be sold for the support of the orphans: 1
gold pin with an Irish pearl, 15 Irish pearls, 2 pins, 2
brooches, 2 lockets, 1 seal, 2 studs, 11 rings, 1 chain, and
1 bracelet, all of gold.
June 15. To-day I gave myself once more earnestl
to prayer respecting the remainder of the 1000l. This
evening 5l. was given, so that now the whole sum is made
up. To the glory of the Lord, whose I am, and whom I
serve, I would state again that every shilling of this money,
and all the articles of clothing and furniture, which have
been mentioned in the foregoing pages, have been given
to me, without one single individual having been asked by
me for any thing. The reason why I have refrained
altogether from soliciting any one for help is, that the
hand of God evidently might be seen in the matter, that
thus my fellow-believers might be encouraged more and
more to trust in him, and that also those who know not the
Lord, may have a fresh proof that, indeed, it is not a
vain thing to pray to God.—As the Lord then has con-
descended most fully, and even above my expectations, to
answer my prayers, and to fill my mouth, (Psalm lxxxi. 10.)
will you help me, brethren and sisters beloved in the
Lord, to praise him for his condescension. It is a won-
derful thing that such a worthless, faithless servant as I
am, should have power with God. Take courage from
this for yourselves, brethren. Surely, if such a one as I
am, so little conformed to the mind of Jesus, has his
prayers answered, may not you also, at last, have your
188 [A.D. 1837.
requests granted to you. During eighteen months and
ten days this petition has been brought before God almost
daily. From the moment I asked it, till the Lord granted
it fully, I had never been allowed to doubt that he would
give every shilling of that sum. Often have I praised
him beforehand in the assurance, that he would grant my
request. The thing after which we have especially to seek
in prayer is, that we believe that we receive, according to
Mark xi. 24: “What things soever ye desire, when ye pray,
believe that ye receive them, and yeshall have them.” But
this I often find lacking in my prayers. Whenever,
however, I have been enabled to believe that I receive,
the Lord has dealt with me according to my faith. This
moment while I am writing (June 28, 1837), I am wait-
ing on the Lord for 171. 10s., the rent for two school-
rooms, which will be due in three days, and I have but
3l. towards that sum. I believe God can give; I believe
God is willing to give it, if it be for our real welfare;
I also have repeatedly asked God for it; but as yet I can-
not in the triumph of faith praise him beforehand, that
he will assuredly give me this small sum. I am waiting
at every delivery of letters, at every ring at the bell, for
help ; I am truly waiting on God, and God alone for it :
but as yet I do not feel as sure of being able to pay the
rent of those school-rooms, as I should, if I had the money
already in my pocket.
As the Lord has so greatly condescended to listen to
my prayers, and as I consider it one of the particular
talents which he has intrusted to me, to exercise faith upon
his promises, as it regards my own temporal wants and
those of others; and as an Orphan-House for boys above
seven years of age seems greatly needed in this city; and
as also without it, we know not how to provide for the
little boys in the Infant-Orphan-House when they are
above seven years of age; I purpose to establish an
Orphan-House for about forty boys above seven years of
age. But there are three difficulties in the way, which
must first be removed, before I could take any further
step in this work. 1. My hands are more than filled
already through the work arising from the ministry of the
word, the attending to the ordering of church affairs, and
the oversight of 370 brethren and sisters. And yet, in
addition to this, I have also the work which comes upon
A.D. 1837.] 189
me in connexion with the six day-schools, a Sunday-school,
an adult-school, the two Orphan-IIouses, and the circula-
tion of the Scriptures. (This latter part of the work is
more and more increasing; for merely within the last
seven months 836 copies of the Scriptures have been cir-
culated). For these reasons, then, I could not in any
degree enlarge the field of labour, except the Lord should
be pleased to send us a brother, who, as steward, could
take from me the work which arises from keeping the
accounts, obtaining and circulating the Scriptures, giving ,
advice in ordinary matters respecting the Orphan-Houses,
attending to the applications for admission of children in
the Orphan-Houses, &c. But whether there is an Orphan-
House for boys established or not, such a brother is greatly
needed, even as the extent of the work is now, and I
therefore lay it on the hearts of the believers who may
read this, to help me with their prayers, that such a bro-
ther may be found. 2. In addition to this, it would be
needful, before I could take any further step, to obtain a
truly pious master for the boys, and other suitable indi-
viduals who may be needed to take care of the children.
3. The third thing by which I desire to be assured, that it
is the will of God that I should go forward in the Orphan-
House is, that he provide the means for such an enlarge-
ment of the work. Whilst, on the one hand, I would
confess to the praise of God, that he has been pleased to
give me faith to trust in him; yet, on the other hand, I
desire to be kept from presumption and enthusiasm. I
do not intend to wait till thousands are raised, or till the
Institution is endowed; but I must have such a sum given
to me as is needed to furnish a house for forty boys, and
to clothe that number, and to have a little to begin with :
without such a sum I should not consider it to be the will
of God to enlarge the field. What I ask then from the
brethren who may feel interested in seeing an Orphan-
House for boys established in Bristol is, that they would
help me with their prayers, that if it be the will of God,
he himself would be pleased to remove these three diffi-
culties out of the way.
[W hilst the preceding pages of the first edition of this
Narrative were in the press, and before the reception of the
last proof sheet for correction, the same friend who gave
me on May 24, 1837, Forty Pounds for the orphans, and
190 [A.D. 1837.
whom up to that time I had never seen, gave on July 12,
1837, Four Hundred and Sixty Pounds more, being
altogether Five Hundred Pounds.]
REVIEW OF THE LAST FIVE YEARS, THE TIME THAT I HAVE
LABOURED IN BIRISTOL WITH BROTHER, CRAIK.
JULY, 1837.
I. Some of the mercies which the Lord has granted to us
during this period.
Concerning all this time I have most especially to say,
that goodness and mercy have followed me every day.
My blessings have been many and great, my trials few
and small. To the praise of God I will mention a few of
the many mercies which he has bestowed on me.
1. I consider it one of the especial mercies that, amidst
so many engagements, I have been kept in the ways of
God, and that this day I have as much desire as ever, yea
more than ever, to live alone for him, who has done so
much for me. My greatest grief is that I love him so
little. I desire many things concerning myself; but I'
desire nothing so much as, to have a heart filled with love
to the Lord. I long for a warm personal attachment to
him.
2. I consider it likewise a great mercy, for which I can
never sufficiently praise God, that, whilst during these
last five years so many of his children have fallen into
great errors, and even those who once ran well, I, who am
so faithless to him, should have been kept from them.
There is scarcely one point of importance, comparatively
speaking, respecting which I have had scriptural reason to
alter my views, since I have come to Bristol. My views
concerning the fundamental truths of the gospel are
the same as they were at the end of the year 1829;
though I have been more and more established in them
during these last five years, and have seen more minutely
the mind of God concerning many truths. My relish for
the study of the word of God has not decreased.
3. I consider it further an exceeding great mercy, that
I have been kept in uninterrupted love and union with my
brother, friend, and fellow-labourer, Henry Craik. Very
A.D. 1837.] 191
few of the blessings that the Lord has bestowed on him,
on me, and on the two churches, whose servants we are,
are of greater importance. There is not one point of
importance, as it regards the truth, on which we differ.
In judgment, as to matters connected with the welfare of
the saints among whom we labour, we have been almost
invariably at once of one mind. (Lord, to Thee is the
praise due for this l!!) We are as much, or more than
ever united in spirit, and, if the Lord permit, we desire
to labour together till he come. Who that knows the
proneness in man to seek his own, and to get glory to him-
self; who that knows that the heart naturally is full of
envy ; who that is acquainted with the position which we
both hold in the church, and the occasions thereby occur-
ring for the flesh to feel offended:—who that considers
these things will not ascribe our union, our uninterrupted
union and love, entirely to the Lord? Let the brethren
among whom we labour praise God much for it ! Let the
brethren everywhere, who may read this, praise God for
it ! This union has glorified God! This union has sprung
from God! But, for this union we depend now as much
as ever upon God, and therefore let the brethren pray,
that God in mercy would give us grace, to put aside every
thing that might hinder it.
4. We have had much joy on account of the scriptural
conduct of many of the children of God among whom we
labour. The two churches have on the whole shown, in
some measure, that even in our day there can be love
among the brethren. I do not mean that we have been
without trials on account of the behaviour of the saints
under our care; nor do I mean to say, that either we or
they have followed Christ as we might or ought to have
done; but only, that we have been mercifully kept
hitherto from great divisions; that the cases in which acts
of discipline were needed (as the list at the end of the
last two years shows) were so few; that we have had
much more joy than sorrow on account of the brethren
and sisters:–these are matters, worthy to be noticed
among the special blessings which God has bestowed on
us during the last five years.
5. Another mercy I mention is, that it has pleased God
to keep us from some most awful characters, who either
actually had proposed themselves for fellowship, or desired
192 [A.D. 1837. "
to do so, and who, so far as the testimony by word of
mouth went, could fully satisfy us. From several such
individuals who lived in open sin, we have been kept, by
the Spirit constraining them to confess, and that, perhaps,
even against their own will, their wicked deeds which
they were practising; in other instances we suspected
them, and, on making inquiry, found out their sins.
6. Another mercy which the Lord has kindly bestowed
on us is, that though neither brother Craik nor I am
strong in body, yet we have been helped through much
work; and, at the time when we were laid aside, the Lord
made up our lack of service, either by sending help from
without, or by putting into exercise the gifts of the
brethren among us. At those seasons disunion might
so easily have sprung up among the brethren; but the
good shepherd of the sheep watched so graciously over
the flock, that they were kept together in much love and
union, whereby also a testimony was given for God, that
their faith stood not in the power of man.
7. Sometimes, when particular trials were laid on us,
and things appeared very dark, the Lord most mercifully
not only supported us under those trials, but also unex-
pectedly delivered us much sooner out of them, than
we could have at all anticipated. May this especially
encourage brethren who labour in word and doctrine, or
who rule in the church, to trust in the Lord in seasons of
peculiar trialſ
8. My temporal wants have all these five years been
most richly supplied, so that not once have I lacked the
necessaries of life, and generally I have abounded; and
all this without having one shilling of regular income.
I am not tired of this way of living, nor have I even
for once been allowed to regret having begun to live
in this way.
II. The work of the Lord in our hands.
1. It has pleased the Lord to continue to bless the
word preached by us to the conversion of many sinners,
and there seems to have been no period during these five
years, in which this work has been stopped by him.
There have come again several cases before us lately, in
which individuals have been recently brought to appre-
A.D. 1837.] 193
hend their lost state by nature, and to see that Jesus of
Nazareth alone can save them. The whole number of
those who have been converted through our instrumen-
tality in Bristol, and who have been received into fellow-
ship with us, is 178; besides this the Lord has given us
many seals to our ministry in this city, but the individuals
are now either only standing on the list of candidates for
fellowship, or are united to other churches in and out of
Bristol, or have fallen asleep before they were united to us.
2. The whole number of the brethren and sisters, now
in fellowship with us, is 370: 189 at Gideon, 181 at
Bethesda.
3. It is now three years and four months since brother
Craik and I began, in dependance upon the Lord for
funds, to seek to help the spread of the Gospel through
the instrumentality of schools, the circulation of the Holy
Scriptures, and by aiding Missionary exertions. Since
then there have been circulated through our instrumen-
tality 4030 copies of the Scriptures; four Day-Schools for
poor children have been established by us; 1119 children
have been instructed in the six Day-Schools, and 353
children are now in those six Day-Schools. Besides this,
a Sunday-School, and an Adult-School, have been supplied
with all they needed, and Missionary exertions in the
East Indies, in Upper Canada, and on the Continent of
Europe, have been aided. In addition to this the word
of God has been preached from house to house among
the poor, in connexion with the Scriptural Knowledge
Institution, by brother C r, within the last two years.
4. There have been received into the Orphan-Houses
74 orphans, and there are now 64 in them.
And now in conclusion I would say that the reason,
why I have spoken so plainly about the sins of my uncon-
verted days is, that I may magnify the riches of the grace
of God, which has been bestowed on me, a guilty wretch.
I have weighed much, whether I should do so or not,
knowing well what contempt it may bring on me; but it
appeared to me, after much prayer, that as the object of
this little work is to speak well of the Lord, I should say
in a few words what I once was, in order that it might
be seen so much the more clearly, what he has done for
me. I also judged, that in doing so, some, who live at
S
194 [A.D. 1837.
present in sin, might see through my example the misery
into which sin leads, even as it regards the present life, and
the happiness which is connected with the ways of God;
and that they also might be encouraged, through what
God has done for me, to turn to him. I have made my-
self therefore a fool, and degraded myself in the eyes of
the inhabitants of Bristol, that you, my dear unconverted
fellow sinners, who may read this, may, with God’s
blessing, be made wise. The love of Christ has con-
strained me to speak about my former lies, thefts, fraud,
&c., that you might be benefited. Do not think that
I am a fool, and therefore I have told out my heart in my
folly; but I have made myself a fool for the benefit of
your souls. May God in mercy, for his dear Son’s sake,
grant that these pages may be a savour of life unto life
to you !
The reason why I have spoken so plainly about some
of the sins and errors into which I have fallen since my
conversion, and about my answers to prayer, and the
supplies of my temporal wants, and some of my family
concerns, and the success which God has given to our
labours, is not, because I do not know that it is contrary
to worldly custom, and against the interest of my worldly
reputation; nor is it, as if I made light of my falls; nor
as if I would boast in having had my prayers so often
answered, and having been in such a variety of ways used
as an instrument in doing the Lord’s work; but, I have
written what I have written for the benefit of my brethren.
I have mentioned some of my sins and errors, that
through my loss the brethren who may read this may
gain. I have mentioned the answers of prayer, that
through them they may be encouraged to make known
their requests unto God. I have spoken about my tem-
poral supplies, that through seeing how richly God has
supplied my temporal wants, since the commencement of
1830, when I left London, they may be stirred up “to
seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness,”
resting assured, that, in doing so, he will give them what
is needful for the life that now is. I have alluded to
some family circumstances, that children of God may be
encouraged to cast their family burdens upon the Lord,
in order that, in doing so, they may find him carrying the
burdens for them. And lastly, I have written about the
A.D. 1837.] 195
success which God has been pleased to grant us in his
work, that it may be seen, that in acting on scriptural
principles we have the Lord on our side, and that our
mode of preaching is honoured by him. If in anything
which I have written I have been mistaken (and what
human work is there which is free from error), I have
been mistaken after much prayer. Whilst writing I have
often asked help of God. Whilst revising the work, I
have still again and again bowed my knees. I have also
frequently entreated the Lord to bless this feeble effort
of mine to speak to his praise, and I have not the
slightest hesitation in saying, that from the earnestness
and comfort which I have enjoyed in prayer, and from
the sincere self-examination of my heart, I know that God
will bless this little work. May I ask you then, my
brethren and sisters, who have been benefited in reading
this book, to help me with your prayers, that it may be
blessed to others. May I also ask you, my brethren and
sisters, who think I ought not to have published it, to
ask God to bless that which you yourselves consider good
and scriptural in it.
And now last of all, brethren beloved in the Ilord,
remember me in your prayers.
END OF THIE IFIRST TART.
§ 2
A.
N A R RATIVE
OF SOME OF
T H E L () R. D'S DEA LIN G. S
WITH
GEORGE MULLER.
WRITTEN BY HIMSELF.
SECOND PART.
jourtſ, 35uition.
J. NIS BET & CO., BERNERS STREET, LONDON.
- TO BE HAD ALSO IN BRISTOL,
AT W. WHEREAT’S, No. 7, CORN STREET; AND AT THE BIBLE AND
TRACT WAREHOUSE OF THE SCRIPTURAL RNOWLEDGE
INSTITUTION FOR HOME AND ABROAD, No. 34, PARK STREET;
AND THROUGH ALL BOOKSELLERS.
1855.
[Entered at Stationers' Hall.]
LONDON :
PRINTED BY J. DAVY AND SONS, 137, LONG ACRE,
P. R. E. F. A. C. E.
TO THE
FIRST EDITION OF THE SECOND PART.
THROUGH grace I am, in some measure, conscious of my
many weaknesses and deficiencies; but, with all this, I
know that I am a member of the body of Christ, and that,
as such, I have a place of service in the body. The reali-
zation of this has laid upon me the responsibility of serving
the church in the particular way for which the Lord has
fitted me, and this has led me to write this second little
volume, if by any means those of my fellow-saints, who
have not yet learned the importance and preciousness of
dealing with God himself under all circumstances, may be
helped in learning this lesson. Nor did I think that the
first part of this Narrative rendered the second part
needless, because that contains more especially the Lord's
dealings with me as an individual, whilst this gives, more
particularly, an account of the remarkable way in which
the Lord has helped me in reference to his work in my
hands. For this second part carries on the account of
the Orphan-Houses, etc., which are under my care, and
contains the substance of the Reports previously pub-
lished, so that any one who wishes to have the account
from the beginning up to the end of last year, may be
able to obtain it. This latter point alone made it needful
for me to think about publishing this second part, as of
the Reports for 1838 and 1839, which still almost daily
are inquired after, there are only a few copies left, though
2,500 of the one and 3,000 of the other were published;
and of the Report for 1840 there are also only about 500,
out of 4,000, remaining. The being thus able to put the
whole account of the work into the hands of an inquiring
IV
individual, affords such a one a fairer opportunity of seeing
the working of those scriptural principles on which the
Institution is established. And, lastly, the Lord’s con-
tinued blessing upon the first part of the Narrative and
the Reports, both to believers and unbelievers, has induced
me to publish this second volume, which I now affec-
tionately commend to the prayers of the saints, requesting
at the same time their prayers for myself.
GEORGE MüLLER.
21, Paul Street, Kingsdown,
Bristol, June 14, 1841.
PR. E. F. A C E
TO THE
FOURTH EDITION OF THE SECONI) PART.
The same reasons which have induced me to publish the
fifth edition of the first part, have also led me to publish
this fourth edition of the second part. For the sake of
brevity, a few paragraphs have been left out, which ap-
peared in the third edition.
GEORGE MüLLER.
21, Paul Street, Kingsdown, Bristol,
November, 1855.
A.
N A R RATIVE,
&c. &c.
SECOND PART.
IN publishing the continuation of the Narrative of some
of the Lord’s dealings with me, I have thought it well to
give it in the same form in which the larger portion of
the former part is written. I therefore proceed to give
extracts from my journal, making here and there such
remarks as occasion may seem to require. The first part
of the Narrative was carried on to the beginning of July
1837, from which period the Continuation commences.
July 18, 1837. Four trials came upon me this morn-
ing, without my having previously had opportunity for
secret prayer. I had been prevented from rising early,
on account of having to spend part of the night in a sick
chamber; but this circumstance shows how important it
is to rise early when we are able, in order that we may be
prepared, by communion with the Lord, to meet the trials
of the day.
Aug. 15. To-day the first 500 copies of my Narrative
arrived, and I had, once more, some conflict of mind
whether, after all, I had not been mistaken in this matter.
A sort of trembling came over me, and a wish to be able
to retrace the step. Judging, however, from the most
searching self-examination, through which I had caused
my heart to pass again and again, as to my motives,
before I began writing, and whilst I was writing ; and
judging, moreover, from the earnestness in prayer with
which I had sought to ascertain the mind of God in the
matter, and from the subsequent full assurance which I
202 [A.D. 1837.
had had of its being according to his will, that in this way
I should serve the church;-I was almost immediately
led to consider this uncomfortable and trying feeling as a
temptation, and I therefore went to the box, opened it,
brought out some copies, and soon after gave away one,
so that the step could not be retraced. [This was the
last temptation or struggle I have had of that kind; for,
though, very many times since, I have had abundant
reason for praising the Lord that he put such an honour
upon me, in allowing me to speak well of his name in so
public a manner, I have never since, even for one minute,
been allowed to regret publishing the Narrative; and
almost daily have I been more and more confirmed in the
conviction, that the giving such like publications to the
church, making known the Lord’s dealings with me, is
one part of my service towards the saints.]
Aug. 17. To-day two more children were received into
the Infant-Orphan-House, which makes up our full num-
ber, 66 in the Girls’ and Infant-Orphan-Houses.
Aug. 28. When brother Craik and I began to labour
in Bristol, and consequently some believers united with
us in fellowship, assembling together at Bethesda, we
began meeting together on the basis of the written word
only, without having any church rules whatever. From
the commencement it was understood, that as the Lord
should help us, we would try every thing by the word of
God, and introduce and hold fast that only which could
be proved by Scripture. When we came to this deter-
mination on Aug. 13, 1832, it was indeed in weakness,
but it was in uprightness of heart.—On account of this it
was, that, as we ourselves were not fully settled as to
whether those only who had been baptized after they had
believed, or whether all who believed in the Lord Jesus,
irrespective of baptism, should be received into fellow-
ship: nothing was determined about this point. We felt
free to break bread and be in communion with those who
were not baptized, and therefore could with a good con-
science labour at Gideon, where the greater part of the
Saints, at least at first, were unbaptized; but at the same
time we had a secret wish that none but believers who
were baptized might be united with us at Bethesda.
Our reason for this was, that we had witnessed in Devon-
shire much painful disunion, resulting, as we thought,
A.D. 1837.] 2O3
from baptized and unbaptized believers being in fellow-
ship. Without then, making it a rule, that Bethesda
Church was to be one of close communion, we neverthe-
less took care that those who applied for fellowship should
be instructed about baptism. For many months there
occurred no difficulty, as none applied for communion
but such as had either been already baptized, or wished
to be, or who became convinced of the scriptural character
of believers’ baptism, after we had conversed with them;
afterwards, however, three sisters applied for fellowship,
none of whom had been baptized; nor were their views
altered, after we had conversed with them. As, never-
theless, brother Craik and I considered them true belie-
vers, and we ourselves were not fully convinced what
was the mind of the Lord in such a case, we thought
it right that these sisters should be received; yet so that
it might be unanimously, as all our church acts then were
done; but we knew by that time, that there were several
in fellowship with us, who could not conscientiously
receive unbaptized believers. We mentioned, therefore,
the names of these three sisters to the church, stating
that they did not see believers' baptism to be scriptural,
and that, if any brother saw, on that account, a reason
why they should not be received, he should let us know.
The result was, that several objected, and two or three
meetings were held, at which we heard the objections of
the brethren, and sought for ourselves to obtain acquaint-
ance with the mind of God on the point. Whilst several
days thus passed away before the matter was decided, one
of those three sisters came and thanked us, that we had
not received her, before being baptized, for she now saw
that it was only shame and the fear of man which had
kept her back, and that the Lord had now made her
willing to be baptized. By this circumstance those
brethren, who considered it scriptural that all ought to be
baptized before being received into fellowship, were con-
firmed in their views; and as to brother Craik and me, it
made us, at least, still more question, whether those
brethren might not be right; and we felt therefore, that
in such a state of mind we could not oppose them. The
one sister, therefore, who wished to be baptized, was
received into fellowship, but the two others not. Our
consciences were the less affected by this, because all,
204 [A.D. 1837.
though not baptized, might take the Lord's supper with
us, at Bethesda, though not be received into full fellow-
ship; and because at Gideon, where there were baptized
and unbaptized believers, they might even be received
into full fellowship : for we had not then clearly seen
that there is no scriptural distinction between being in
fellowship with individuals and breaking bread with them.
Thus matters stood for many months, i.e. believers were
received to the breaking of bread even at Bethesda,
though not baptized, but they were not received to all
the privileges of fellowship.–In August of 1836 I had a
conversation with brother R. C. on the subject of receiving
the unbaptized into communion, a subject about which,
for years, my mind had been more or less exercised. This
brother put the matter thus before me: either unbaptized
believers come under the class of persons who walk disor-
derly, and, in that case, we ought to withdraw from them
(2 Thess. iii. 6); or they do not walk disorderly. If a
believer be walking disorderly, we are not merely to with-
draw from him at the Lord’s table, but our behaviour
towards him ought to be decidedly different from what it
would be were he not walking disorderly, on all occasions
when we may have intercourse with him, or come in any
way into contact with him. Now this is evidently not
the case in the conduct of baptized believers towards their
unbaptized fellow-believers. The Spirit does not suffer
it to be so, but he witnesses that their not having been
baptized does not necessarily imply that they are walking
disorderly; and hence there may be the most precious
communion between baptized and unbaptized believers.
The Spirit does not suffer us to refuse fellowship with
them in prayer, in reading and searching the Scriptures,
in social and intimate intercourse, and in the Lord’s work;
and yet this ought to be the case, were they walking
disorderly.—This passage, 2 Thess. iii. 6, to which brother
R. C. referred, was the means of showing me the mind of
the Lord on the subject, which is, that we ought to receive all
whom Christ has received (Rom. xv. 7), irrespective of the
"measure of grace or knowledge which they have attained
wnto.—Some time after this conversation, in May 1837,
an opportunity occurred, when we (for brother Craik had
seen the same truth) were called upon to put into practice
the light which the Lord had been pleased to give us. A
A.D. 1837.] 205
sister, who neither had been baptized, nor considered her-
self under any obligation to be baptized, applied for
fellowship. We conversed with her on this as on other
subjects, and proposed her for fellowship, though our
conversation had not convinced her that she ought to be
baptized. This led the church again to the consideration
of the point. We gave our reasons, from Scripture, for
considering it right to receive this unbaptized sister to all
the privileges of the children of God; but a considerable
number, one-third perhaps, expressed conscientious diffi-
culty in receiving her. The example of the Apostles, in
baptizing the first believers upon a profession of faith,
was especially urged, which indeed would be an insur-
mountable difficulty had not the truth been mingled with
error for so long a time, so that it does not prove wilful
disobedience, if any one in our day should refuse to be
baptized after believing. The Lord, however, gave us
much help in pointing out the truth to the brethren, so
that the number of those, who considered that only bap-
tized believers should be in communion, decreased almost
daily. At last, only fourteen brethren and sisters out of
above 180, thought it right, this Aug. 28, 1837, to separate
from us, after we had had much intercourse with them.
[I am glad to be able to add, that even of these 14, the
greater part afterwards saw their error, and came back
again to us, and that the receiving of all who love our
Tord Jesus into full communion, irrespective of baptism,
has never been the source of disunion among us, though
more than eighteen years have passed away since.]
Sept. 2. I have been looking about for a house for the
Orphan Boys, these last three days. Everything else has
been provided. The Lord has given suitable individuals
to take care of the children, money, &c. In his own time
he will give a house also.
Sept. 6. This morning I accompanied a sister, who had
been staying a night with us, to the steamer. In answer
to prayer I awoke at the right time, the fly came at half-
past five, her trunk was got from the vessel in which she
came yesterday, and we arrived before the steamer had
left. In all these four points I felt my dependance upon
the Lord, and he, having put prayer into my heart,
answered it in each of these four particulars.
Sept. 15. This evening we had a meeting for inquirers
T
206 [A.D. 1837.
and applicants for fellowship. There were more than we
could see within three hours; and when all strength was
gone, we had to send away four. Among those whom we
saw was E. W. who had been kept for some time from
applying for fellowship, on account of not seeing believers'
baptism to be scriptural. She wished to be taught, but
could not see it. She felt grieved that on that account
she could not attend to the breaking of bread, which she
did see to be scriptural. As soon as open communion was
brought about at Bethesda, she wished to offer herself for
fellowship, but was twice prevented by circumstances
from doing so. Last Wednesday evening she came to
the baptizing, when once more, after the lapse of more
than two years, I preached on baptism, which fully con-
vinced her of its being scriptural, and she desires now to
be baptized. Her difficulty was, that she thought she had
been baptized with the Spirit, and therefore needed no
water baptism, which now, from Acts x. 44–47, she sees
to be an unscriptural objection.—Though it is only one
month this day since my Narrative was published, I have
already heard of many instances in which the Lord has
been pleased to bless it.
This morning we received a parcel with clothes and
some money for the Orphans, from a sister at a distance.
Among the donations in money was a little legacy,
amounting to 6s. 64d. from a dear boy, the nephew of the
sister who sent the things, who died in the faith. This
dear child had had given to him, in his last illness, some
new shillings, sixpences, and other smaller silver coins,
amounting to the above-mentioned little sum. Shortly
before he fell asleep he requested that this his little trea-
sure might be sent to the Orphans. This precious little
legacy is the first we have had.
Sept. 19. Two things were to-day particularly im-
pressed upon my heart, and may the Lord deepen the
impression. 1. That I ought to seek for more retirement,
though the work should apparently suffer ever so much.
2. That arrangements should be made, whereby I may be
able to visit the brethren more, as an unvisited church will
sooner or later become an unhealthy church. Pastors, as
fellow-labourers, are greatly needed among us.
Sept. 27. To-day, a believer sent a brother, a tailor, to
measure me for a great coat. Thus the Lord has sup-
A.D. 1837.] 207
plied my need in this particular also ; for my old one,
which was bought with money that had been sent to me
from a distance of several thousand miles, is now much
WOI’Il.
Sept. 28. I have for a long time been too much out-
wardly engaged. Yesterday morning I spent about three
hours in the vestry of Gideon, to be able to have more
time for retirement. I meant to do the same in the after-
noon, but before I could leave the house I was called on,
and thus one person after the other came, till I had to
go out. Thus it has been again to-day.
Oct. 16. For a long time past brother Craik and I have
felt the importance of more pastoral visiting, and it has
been one of our greatest trials, that we have been unable
to give more time to it. This evening we had purposely
a meeting of the two Churches, at which brother Craik
and I, and a brother from Devonshire spoke on : I. The
importance of pastoral visiting. II. The particular ob-
stacles which hindered us in attending to it. III. The
question whether there was any way of removing some
of the obstacles.
I. As to the importance of pastoral visiting, the follow-
ing points were mentioned: 1. Watching over the saints,
by means of visiting them, to prevent coldness, or to re-
cover them from backsliding. 2. To counsel and advise
them in family affairs, in their business, and in spiritual
matters. 3. To keep up that loving familiar intercourse,
which is so desirable between the Saints and those who
have the oversight of them.—These visits should be, if
possible, frequent ; but in our case there have been several
obstacles in the way.
II. The particular obstacles in our case are: I. The
largeness of the number who are in communion with us.
One hundred would be quite as many as we have strength
to visit regularly, and as often as would be desirable; but
there are nearly 400 in fellowship with us. 2. The dis-
tance of the houses of the saints from our own dwellings,
as many live more than two miles off. 3. The Lord's
blessing upon our labours. Not one year has passed
away, since we have been in Bristol, without more than
fifty having been added to our number, each of whom, in
general, needed several times to be conversed with before
being admitted into fellowship. 4. That brother Craik
T 2
208 [A.D. 1837.
and I have each of us the care of two churches. At the
first sight it appears as if the work is thus divided, but
the double number of meetings, &c., nearly double the
work. 5. The mere ruling, and taking care, in general,
of a large body of believers, irrespective of the other
work, takes much more time, and requires much more
strength, than the taking care of a small body of believers,
as we, by grace, desire not to allow known sin among us.
6. The position which we have in the church at large
brings many brethren to us who travel through Bristol,
who call on us, or lodge with us, and to whom, according
to the Lord's will, we have to give some time. 7. In my
own case an extensive needful correspondence. 8. The
weakness of body on the part of both of us. When the
preaching is done,—when the strangers who lodge with
us are gone,—when the calls at our house are over,
when the needful letters, however briefly, are written,_
when the necessary church business is settled;—our
minds are often so worn out, that we are glad to be quiet.
9. But suppose we have bodily strength remaining after
the above things have been attended to, yet the frame of
mind is not always so, as that one could visit. After
having been particularly tried by church matters, which in
so large a body does not rarely occur, or being cast down
in one’s own soul, one may be fit for the closet, but not for
visiting the saints. 10. Lastly, in my own case, no small
part of my time is taken up by attending to the affairs of
the Orphan-Houses, Schools, the circulation of the Scrip-
tures, the aiding Missionary efforts, and other work con-
nected with the Scriptural Knowledge Institution.
III. What is to be done under these circumstances P
1. In the days of the Apostles there would have been more
brethren to take the oversight of so large a body as we
are. The Lord has not laid upon us a burden which is
too heavy for us; he is not a hard master. It is evident
that he does not mean us even to attempt to visit all the
saints as much as is absolutely needful, and much less as
frequently as it would be desirable. We mention this,
to prevent uncomfortable feelings on the part of the dear
saints under our pastoral care, who find themselves not
as much visited as they used to be when we came to
Bristol, when the number of them was not 70, and now
it is about 400, and when in many other respects the
A.D. 1837.] 209
work in our hands was not half so much, as it is now, and
when we had much more bodily strength. 2. It is there-
fore evident that there are other pastors needed; not
nominal pastors, but such as the Lord has called, to whom
he has given a pastor's heart, and pastoral gifts. 3. Such
may be raised up by the Lord from our own number, or
the Lord may send them from elsewhere. 4. But in the
meantime we should at least see whether there are not
helpers among us. 5. As to the work itself, in order that
time may be saved, it appears desirable that the two
churches, Bethesda and Gideon, should be united into
one, that the breaking of bread should be alternately,
and that the number of weekly meetings should be
reduced.
Oct. 21. A few weeks since I had rented a very large
and a very cheap house for the Boys' Orphan-House; but
as the persons who live in that neighbourhood threatened
the landlord with an action, on account of letting his
house for a charitable institution, I, at once, gave up all
claim. That which led me to do so was the word of the
Lord ; “As much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all
men.” I was quite sure when I gave up the agreement,
that the Lord would provide other premises. On the
same morning when this took place, Oct. 5, the Lord, to
show his continued approbation of the work, sent 50l. by
a sister, who is far from being rich, for the furnishing of
the Boys'-Orphan-House. Now, to-day, the Lord has
given me another house for the Orphan-Boys, in the same
street, in which the other two Orphan-Houses are. Thus,
in his own time, he has sent help in this particular also.
Indeed in every thing, in which I have had to deal with
him alone in this work, I have never been disappointed.
Oct. 23. To-day two young sisters were received into
fellowship who have been in our Sunday-School. Thus
we begin now to reap fruit in respect of our schools.
Nov. 1. Our Bible—School—and Missionary funds
having been for some time very low, I had been led
repeatedly to ask the Lord for a rich supply, and men-
tioned several times, though with submission to his will,
the sum of 100l. before him. However, he seemed not
to regard the prayer respecting the 100l. but gave to us
by little and little what was needed. Yesterday I re-
ceived a donation of 80l., and to-day one of 20l., and thus
T 3
210 [A.D. 1837.
he has kindly given the 100l. By this means we are able
to increase our stock of Bibles, which has been much
reduced of late.
Nov. 5. Last night I awoke with a great weakness in
my head, which kept me a good while awake. I at last
got to sleep by tying a handkerchief round my head, and
by thus pressing it. To-day, however, though weak, I
was able to preach, and that with much enjoyment, espe-
cially in the evening at Bethesda.
Nov. 6. I feel very weak in my head. This evening it
was settled at a meeting of the two churches, assembling
at Bethesda and Gideon Chapels, that, for the reasons
before given, the two churches should be henceforth
united as one.
Nov. 7. My head is so weak, that I see it absolutely
needful to give up the work for some time. After I had
come this morning to the conclusion to leave Bristol for
a while for the purpose of quietness, I received an ano-
nymous letter from Ireland with 5l. for my own personal
expenses, and thus the Lord has kindly supplied me with
the means for doing so.-I can work no longer, my head
being in such a weak state from continual exertion, so
that I feel now comfortable in going, though scarcely any
time could have been, humanly speaking, more unsuitable.
The Orphan-House for the Boys is on the point of being
opened, the labourers therefore are to be introduced into
the work;-most important church matters have been
entered upon and are yet unsettled;—but the Lord knows
better, and cares for his work more than I do or can.
Therefore I desire to leave the matter with him, and he
graciously helps me to do so, and thus, in the quiet sub-
mission to his will, and the willingness to leave the work
in his own hands, I have the testimony that I have not
been engaged in my own work but in his.
Nov. 8. This morning I left Bristol. When I left my
house, I knew not which place to go to. All I knew was,
that I must leave Bristol. A Bath coach was the first one
I could get, and I took it. My intention was, not to go
to brethren, as I needed perfect quietness; but I felt so
uncomfortable at the hotel, on account of the worldliness
of the place, that I went to see a brother, who with his
aunts kindly pressed me to stay with them.—This even-
ing has been a very trying season to me. My head has
A.D. 1837.] 211
been very weak, I have greatly feared lest I should become
insane; but amidst it all, through grace, my soul is quietly
resting upon the Lord.
Nov. 12. Lord's day... I am still staying in Bath. The
weakness of my head allowed me to attend but one meet-
ing, and even that distressed my head much.
Nov. 13. I was greatly distressed this evening on
account of my head. I prayed earnestly to be kept from
insanity.
Nov. 14. I am rather better in my head to-day.
Nov. 15. I left Bath, and went back to Bristol, as I
felt I needed more quietness than I can have in the house
of any friends, being continually drawn into conversation,
which my head cannot bear.
Nov. 16. To-day I went to Weston Super Mare, to
take lodgings for myself and family. A sister sent me
this morning 5l., by which the Lord has provided me with
the means for removing my family.
Nov. 17. Weston Super Mare. This evening my wife
and child, and our servant arrived here. Yesterday a
sister secretly put two sovereigns in my wife's pocket
book. How kind is the Lord in thus providing us with
means according to our need . How kind also in having
just now sent brother T. to take the work arising from
the Schools, Orphan-Houses, &c., just as brother C I”
was sent two years ago, shortly before I was completely
laid aside —To-day a brother sent me information, that
he had ordered one hundred pairs of blankets to be sent
to me, for distribution among the poor.
Nov. 23. My general health is pretty good; my head,
however, is no better, but rather worse. This evening I
was led, through the affliction in my head, to great irrita-
bility of temper. Of late I have had afresh painfully to
experience in myself two things: 1. That affliction in
itself does not lead nearer to God. 2. That we may have
a good deal of leisure time and yet fail in profitably im-
proving it. Often had I wished within the last months that
I might have more time. Now the Lord has given it to me,
but alas ! how little of it is improved for prayer. I find
it a difficult thing whilst caring for the body, not to neg-
lect the soul. It seems to me much easier to go on
altogether regardless of the body, in the service of the
Lord, than to take care of the body in the time of sick-
212 [A. D. 1837.
ness, and not to neglect the soul, especially in an affliction
like my present one, when the head allows but little read-
ing or thinking.—What a blessed prospect to be delivered
from this wretched evil natureſ I can say nothing re-
specting this day, and this evening in particular, but
that I am a wretched man.
Nov. 24. I am now quite sure that I want more than
mere quiet and change of air, even medical advice. My
general health seems improved through my stay at
Weston, but the disease in my head is increased. I have
had many distressing moments since I have been at
Weston, on account of fearing that my disease may be
the forerunner of insanity; yet God has in mercy sus-
tained me, and enabled me, in some small measure, not-
withstanding my great sinfulness, to realize the blessing
of being in Christ, and therefore secure for ever.
Nov. 25. We returned to Bristol. I was at peace,
being able to cast myself upon the Lord respecting the
calamity which I feared. This evening I saw a kind
physician and surgeon, who told me that the disease is
either a tendency of blood to the head, or that the nerves
of the head are in a disordered state. They also told me
that I had not the least reason to fear insanity. How
little grateful is my soul for this
Nov. 29. I am no better. A sister sent me to-day
5l. ; also a pickled tongue, fowls, cakes, and beautiful
grapes were sent to me. My cup, as to temporal mer-
cies, runs over.—One of the Orphan children died while
I was at Weston Super Mare. There is reason to believe
that she died in the faith.
Nov. 30. I am not any better. I have written to m
father, perhaps, for the last time. All is well, all will be
well, all cannot but be well; because I am in Christ.
How precious that now, in this my sickness, I have not
to seek after the Lord, but have already found him.
Dec. 1. By the mercy of God my head is somewhat
relieved. My liver is in a most inactive state, which, as my
kind medical attendants tell me, has created the pressure
on the top of the head, and, through the inactivity of the
liver, the whole system having been weakened, and my
mental exertions having been continued, the nerves of the
head have greatly suffered in consequence.—This evening
was sent to me, anonymously, from a distance, 5l. for my
A.D. 1837.] 213
own present necessities. The letter was only signed
F. W.-A sister, a stranger, gave to my wife 1. Thus
the Lord remembers our increased expenditure in conse-
quence of my affliction, and sends to us accordingly.
Dec. 4. Yesterday I met with the brethren for the
breaking of bread. To-day I am not so well. Every time
that I meet with them, the nerves of my head are ex-
cited, and I am worse afterwards. A sister from Barnstaple
sent us 11. 15s.
Dec. 8. My head is not so well as at the end of last
week. I find it difficult to be in Bristol and not to exert
my mind. Prayer and the reading of the word I can bear
better than any thing. May the Lord give me grace to
pray more I See as yet scarcely a single reason, so far
as I myself am concerned, why the Lord should remove
this affliction from me. I do not find myself more con-
formed to the mind of Jesus by it.
Dec. 9. Two years ago this day, I stated my intention
of establishing an Orphan-House, if God should permit.
What has God wrought since 75 orphans are now under
our care, and 21 more we can receive. Several more are
daily expected. During the last twelvemonth the expenses
have been about 740l., and the income about 840l. In
addition to this, about 400l. has been expended upon the
Schools, the circulation of the Scriptures, and in aiding
Missionary purposes. More than 11007, therefore we
have needed during the past year, and our good Lord has
supplied all, without one single person having been asked
for any thing.
Dec. 12. To-day the hundred pairs of blankets arrived.
How kind of the Lord to give us the privilege of being
instrumental in providing, in this respect, for some of the
poor, both among the saints and in the world ! This
donation came in most seasonably, as, on inquiring into
the circumstances of some of the poor, most affecting
cases of distress were discovered, on account of the want
of blankets. May the Lord give me grace to deny myself,
in order to provide for the necessities of the poor How
much may be done even by a little self-denial Lord,
help me!—The blankets were of a very good quality. It
is a Christlike spirit in supplying the necessities of the
poor, not to ask how little will do for them, but how richly
may I possibly supply their need.
214 [A.D. 1837.
Tec. 14. A sister, who a short time since had given
me 5l. for my own personal expenses, gave me another 5l.
to-day. How very kind is the Lord in providing so abun-
dantly for us, and giving us far more than we need!
Dec. 16. My head is not at all better, but rather
worse. My medical attendants have to-day changed the
medicine. But however kind and skilful they are, how-
ever nourishing the food which I take, however much I
seek to refrain from over-exertion, and however much I
take exercise in the air :—till thou, my great Physician,
thou Creator of the Universe, Lord Jesus, dost restore
me, I shall be laid aside —I have been working a little
during the last fortnight, but only a little.
Dec. 17.—Lord’s day. This morning I saw the 32
orphan girls, who are above seven years old, pass under
my window, to go to the chapel. When I saw these dear
children in their clean dresses, and their comfortable warm
cloaks; and when I saw them walking orderly under the
care of a sister to the chapel; I felt grateful to God that
I had been made the instrument of providing for them,
seeing that they are all better off, both as it regards tem-
poral and spiritual things, than if they were at the places
from whence they were taken. I felt, that, to bring about
such a sight, was worth the labour not only of many days,
but of many months, or years. I felt that it answered all
the arguments of some of my friends who say “you do
too much.”
Dec. 24. This is the seventh Lord's day that I have
been laid aside.—This day I determine, by the help of
God, no more to send letters in parcels, because I now
clearly see that it is against the laws of the country, and
it becomes me, as a disciple of Jesus, in every respect to
submit myself to the government, in so far as I am not
called upon to do any thing contrary to the word of God.
Dec. 26. To-day the same brother who sent me
the hundred pairs of blankets, sent me 100l. to pur-
chase as many more blankets as I can satisfactorily
distribute.
Dec. 29. Applications for the admission of orphans
become more and more numerous. Almost daily fresh
cases are brought before us. There are already as many
applications for Orphan-Girls above seven years as would
fill another house. There are also many more Infant-
A.D. 1837.] 215
Orphans applied for than we can take in. Truly this is
a large field of labour !
Dec. 31. This is the eighth Lord’s day since I have
been kept from ministering in the word, nor did I think
it well, on account of my head, to go to any of the meet-
ings to-day. Whether I am really getting better I know
not, yet I hope I am. My head is yet much affected,
though my liver seems somewha; more active.—This
morning I greatly dishonoured thé Lord by irritability,
manifested towards my dear wife, and that almost imme-
diately after I had been on my knees before God, praising
him for having given me such a wife.
REVIEW OF THE YEAR 1837.
I. There are now 81 children in the three Orphan-
Houses, and nine brethren and sisters who have the care
of them. Ninety, therefore, daily sit down to table. Lord,
look on the necessities of thy servant
II. The Schools require as much help as before; nay,
more, particularly the Sunday School, in which there are
at present about 320 children, and in the Day Schools
about 350.-Lord, thy servant is a poor man; but he has
trusted in Thee, and made his boast in Thee, before the
sons of men; therefore let him not be confounded ! Let
it not be said, all this was enthusiasm, and therefore it is
come to nought !
III. My temporal supplies have been:
1. By the Freewill Offerings through the
boxes . . . . . . . . . . . £149 18 6;
2. By Presents in money, from believers in
and out of Bristol . . . . . . . 77 4 0
3. By Presents in clothes, provisions, &c.,
which were worth to us at least . . 25 0 0
4. By Money through family connexion . 45 0 0
5. We have been living half free of rent,
whereby we have saved at least . . 10 0 0
£307 2 6%
I have purposely given here again, as at the close of the
former years, a statement of the supplies which the Lord
has been pleased to send me during this year, because I
216 [A.D. 1838.
delight in showing, both to the world and to the church,
how kind a master I have served even as to temporal
blessings, and how so plainly in my case the Lord has
displayed the truth of that word “Whosoever believeth
on him shall not be confounded,” not merely by pro-
viding the means for his work in my hands, but also by
providing for the necessities of myself and family.
January 1, 1838. Through the good hand of our God
upon me I have been brought to the beginning of another
year. May he in mercy grant that it may be spent more
in his service than any previous year ! May 1, through
the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, be more conformed to
the image of his Son, than has been the case hitherto 1–
Tast night the brethren had a prayer-meeting at Gideon,
after the preaching was over, and continued till half-past
twelve in prayer; but I was unable to be present.
Jan. 2. During the last night thieves broke into our
house, and into the school-room of Gideon Chapel. Being
stopped by a second strong door, in my house, or rather
being prevented from going any further by our loving
Tather, who did not allow the hedge which he has set
round about us, at this time, to be broken through,
nothing was missing, except some cold meat, which they
took out of the house.—They broke open several boxes in
Gideon school-room, but took nothing. They left some
of the bones, the meat being cut off, in one of the boxes
in Gideon school-room, and hung up another in a tree in
our garden. So depraved is man naturally when left to
himself, that he not only steals his fellowman's property,
but also makes sport of the sin! How merciful that
God has protected us ! My mind was peaceful when I
heard the news this morning, thanking God from my
heart for preservation, and considering it as an answer to
prayer, which had been many times put up to him, during
these last years, respecting thieves.
Jan. 6. I feel very little better in my head, though
my general health seems improved ; but my kind phy-
sician says I am much better, and advises me now change
of air. I am most reluctant to go, though on two former
occasions when I used change of air, in August 1829 at
Txmouth, and in 1835 at Niton in the Isle of Wight, the
Lord abundantly blessed me in doing so, both bodily and
A.D. 1838.] 217
spiritually. This evening a sister who resides about fifty
miles from hence, and who is therefore quite unacquainted
with the medical advice given to me this morning, sent
me 151, for the express purpose of change of air, and
wrote that she felt assured, from having been similarly
afflicted, that nothing would do me so much good, humanly
speaking, as quiet and change of air. How wonderfully
does God work! I have thus the means of carrying into
effect my physician’s advice.—To-day I heard of a most
remarkable case of conversion through the instrumentality
of my Narrative.
Jan. 7. This is the ninth Lord’s day that I have been
kept from ministering in the word. My head is in a dis-
tressing state, and, as far as I can judge, as bad as ever,
It seems to me more and more clear that the nerves are
affected. My affliction is connected with a great tendency
to irritability of temper; yea, with some satanic feeling,
foreign to me even naturally. O Lord, mercifully keep
thy servant from openly dishonouring thy name! Rather
take me soon home to thyself!
Jan. 10. To-day I went with my family to Trowbridge.
Jan. 12. Trowbridge. This evening I commenced read-
ing Whitfield’s life, written by Mr. Philip.
Jan. 13. I have already received blessing through
Whitfield’s life. His great success in preaching the
Gospel is evidently to be ascribed, instrumentally, to his
great prayerfulness, and his reading the Bible on his
knees. I have known the importance of this for years;
I have practised it a little, but far too little. I have had
more communion with God to-day than I have had, at
least generally, for some time past.
Jan. 14. Lord's day. I have continued reading Whit-
field's life. God has again blessed it to my soul. I have
spent several hours in prayer to-day, and read on my
knees, and prayed for two hours over Psalm lxiii. God
has blessed my soul much to-day. I have been fighting
together with the armies of Jesus, though this is the
tenth Lord’s day since I have been kept from preaching,
and though I have not assembled with the brethren here,
on account of my head. My soul is now brought into
that state, that I delight myself in the will of God, as it
regards my health. Yea, I can now say, from my heart,
I would not have this disease removed till God, through
TJ
218 [A.D. 1838.
it, has bestowed the blessing for which it was sent. He
has drawn out my soul much yesterday and to-day.
Lord, continue thy goodness, and fill me with love I
long, more fully to glorify God; not so much by outward
activity, as by inward conformity to the image of Jesus.
What hinders God, to make of one, so vile as I am,
another Whitfield P Surely, God could bestow as much
grace upon me, as he did upon him. O, my Lord, draw
me closer and closer to thyself, that I may run after
thee!—I desire, if God should restore me again for the
ministry of the word, (and this I believe he will do soon,
judging from the state into which he has now brought my
soul, though I have been worse in health the last eight
days, than for several weeks previously), that my preach-
ing may be more than ever the result of earnest prayer
and much meditation, and that I may so walk with God,
that out of my belly may flow rivers of living water.
But alas! if the grace of God prevent not, one day more,
and the rich blessings, which he has bestowed upon my
soul yesterday and to-day, will all vanish ; but again, if
he favours me, (and oh! may he do it), I shall go from
strength to strength, and I and the saints in Bristol shall
have abundant reason to praise God for this my illness.
Jan. 15. I have had since yesterday afternoon less
suffering in my head than for the last eight days; though
it is even now far from being well. I have still an inward
assurance, on account of the spiritual blessings which the
Lord has granted to me, that through this affliction he is
only purifying me for his blessed service, and that I shall
be soon restored to the work.--To-day, also, God has
continued to me fervency of spirit, which I have now
enjoyed for three days following. He has to-day, also,
drawn out my soul into much real communion with him-
self, and into holy desires to be more conformed to his
dear Son. When God gives a spirit of prayer, how easy
then to pray ! Nevertheless it was given to me in the
use of the means, as I fell on my knees last Saturday, to
read his word with meditation, and to turn it into prayer.
To-day I spent about three hours in prayer over Ps. lxiv.
and lxv. In reference to that precious word “O thou
that hearest prayer,” (Ps. lxv. 2.) I asked the Lord the
following petitions, and entreated him to record them in
heaven and to answer them.
A.D. 1838.] 219
1. That he would give me grace to glorify him by a
submissive and patient spirit under my affliction.
2. That as I was enabled now, and only now from my
heart, to praise God for this affliction, he would not
remove his hand from me, until he had qualified me for
his work more than I have been hitherto.
3. That he would be pleased to grant, that the work of
conversion, through the instrumentality of brother Craik
and myself, might not cease, but go on as much now as
when we first came to Bristol, yea, more abundantly than
even then.
4. That he would be pleased to give more real spiritual
prosperity to the church under our care, than ever we
have as yet enjoyed.
5. Having praised him for the sale of so many copies of
my Narrative in so short a time, I entreated him to cause
every copy to be disposed of.
6. I asked him to continue to let his rich blessing rest
upon this little work, and more abundantly, so that many
may be converted through it, and many of the children of
God truly benefited by it, and that thus I might now be
speaking through it, though laid aside from active service.
7. I asked him for his blessing, in the way of conver-
sion, to rest upon the Orphans, and upon the Sunday and
Day-School children under our care.
8. I asked him for means to carry on these Institutions,
and to enlarge them.
These are some of the petitions which I have asked of
my God this evening in connexion with this his own word.
I believe he has heard me. I believe he will make it
manifest in his own good time that he has heard me, and
I have recorded these my petitions this 14th day of
January 1838, that when God has answered them, he
may get, through this, glory to his name.—[Whilst
writing this second part, I add to the praise of the Lord,
and for the encouragement of the children of God, that
petitions 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8, have been fully answered, and
the other petitions, likewise, in part.]
Jan. 16. Tuesday. A blessed day. How very good is
the Lord | Fervency of spirit, through his grace, is con-
tinued to me, though this morning, but for the help of
God, I should have lost it again. The weather has been
very cold for several days; but to-day I suffered much,
- U 2
220 [A.D. 1838.
either because it was colder than before, or because I felt
it more, owing to the weakness of my body, and having
taken so much medicine. I arose from my knees, and
stirred the fire; but I still remained very cold. I was
a little irritated by this. I moved to another part of the
room, but felt the cold still more. At last, having prayed
for some time, I was obliged to rise up, and take a walk
to promote circulation. I now entreated the Lord on my
walk, that this circumstance might not be permitted to
rob me of the precious communion which I have had with
him the last three days; for this was the object at which
Satan aimed. I confessed also my sin of irritability on
account of the cold, and sought to have my conscience
cleansed through the blood of Jesus. He had mercy
upon me, my peace was restored, and when I returned I
sought the Lord again in prayer, and had uninterrupted
communion with him. [I have purposely mentioned the
above circumstance, in detail, in order to show, how the
most trivial causes may operate in suddenly robbing one
of the enjoyment of most blessed communion with God.]
I have been enabled to pray for several hours this day.
The subject of my meditation has been Psalm lxvi.-
Verses 10, 11, and 12, are particularly applicable to my
present circumstances. God has already, through the
instrumentality of this my affliction, brought me into a
“wealthy place,” and I believe he will bless my soul
yet more and more.—I do not remember any time, when
I have had more fervency of spirit in connexion with
such a desire to overcome every thing that is hateful in
the sight of God, and with such an earnestness to be
fully conformed to the image of Jesus. Truly, I have
reason to apply to myself verse 16, and “tell what God
has done for my soul.”—Verse 18 also I can take to
myself. I do not regard iniquity in my heart, but it
is upright before him, through his grace, and therefore
God does hear my prayers.-What has God done for me,
in comparing this 16th of January 1838 with the 16th of
January 1820, the day on which my dear mother died.—
I have also resolved this day, if the Lord should restore
me again, to have an especial meeting at the chapel once
a week, or once a fortnight, with the Orphan and Day-
School children, for the purpose of reading the Scriptures
with them.—My heart has been drawn out in prayer for
A.D. 1838.] 221
many things, especially that the Lord would create in me
a holy earnestness to win souls, and a greater compassion
for ruined sinners. For this I have been quickened
through reading onward in Whitfield’s life.
Jan. 17. The Lord is yet merciful to me. I enjoy
fervency of spirit. My soul has been again repeatedly
led out in prayer this day, and that for a considerable
time.—I have read on my knees, with prayer and medi-
tation, Psalm lxviii.-Verse 5: “A Father of the father-
less,” one of the titles of Jehovah, has been an especial
blessing to me, with reference to the Orphans. The truth,
which is contained in this, I never realized so much as
to-day. By the help of God, this shall be my argument
before him, respecting the Orphans, in the hour of need.
He is their Father, and therefore has pledged himself, as
it were, to provide for them, and to care for them; and I
have only to remind him of the need of these poor
children, in order to have it supplied. My soul is still
more enlarged respecting Orphans. This word “a
Father of the fatherless,” contains enough encourage-
ment to cast thousands of Orphans, with all their need,
upon the loving heart of God.—My head has been again
in a distressing state to-day; my soul, however, is in
peace. May God in mercy continue to me fervency of
spirit !
January 18 to February 2. During this time I con-
tinued still at Trowbridge. I was, on the whole, very
happy, and habitually at peace, and had repeatedly much
communion with God; but still I had not the same
earnestness in prayer, nor did I, in other respects, enjoy
the same degree of fervency of spirit, with which the
Lord had favoured me for several days previous to this
period. While the considerable degree of fervency of
spirit, which I had had, was altogether the gift of God,
still I have to ascribe to myself the loss of it. It is
remarkable, that the same book, Whitfield’s life, which
was instrumental in stirring me up to seek after such
a frame of heart, was also instrumental in depriving
me of it, in some measure, afterwards. I once or twice
read that book when I ought to have read the Bible on
my knees, and thus was robbed of a blessing. Neverthe-
less, on the whole, even this period was a good season.-
My health being not at all improved, it seemed best that
U 3
222 [A.D. 1838.
I should give up all medicine for a while, and take a tour;
on which account I left Trowbridge to-day and went to
Bath, with the object of going from thence to Oxford. I had
grace to-day to confess the Lord Jesus on my way from
Trowbridge to Bath, as also twice, lately, in going from
Trowbridge to Bristol; but I was also twice silent. Oh
that my heart may be filled with the love of Jesus, in
order that it may be filled with love for perishing sinners'
Feb. 3. I left Bath this morning, and arrived in the
evening at Oxford, where I was very kindly received by
brother and sister , and the sisters º
Feb. 7. Oxford. I had been praying repeatedly yester-
day and the day before, that the Lord would be pleased
to guide me, whether I should leave this place or not ;
but could not see it clearly to be his will that I should do
So, and therefore determined to stay. Now, as I am able
to have a quiet horse, I shall try horse exercise, if it
may please the Lord to bless that to the benefit of my
health. - -
Feb. 10. I have had horse exercise for the last three
days, but the horse is now ill. “Mine hour is not yet
come,” is the Lord’s voice to me in this little circumstance.
Feb. 11. This morning I was directed to read Proverbs
iii. 5–12, having just a few minutes to fill up before
breakfast. I was particularly struck with those words:
“Neither be weary of his correction.” I have not been
allowed to despise the chastening of the Lord, but I begin,
now and then, to feel somewhat weary of his correction.
O Lord, have mercy upon thy poor unworthy servant
Thou knowest that, after the inner man, I desire
patiently to bear this affliction, and not to have it re-
moved till it has done its work in me, and yielded
the peaceable fruits of righteousness. But thou knowest
also what a trial it is to me to continue the life I am now
living. Help, Lord, according to my need
On Feb. 8th I sent a letter to the church in Bristol,
which, having been preserved, I give here in print,
as it shows the way in which the Lord dealt with me
during and through the instrumentality of the affliction,
and which, with his blessing, may lead one or other of the
children of God, who are in trial, quietly to wait for the
end, and to look out for blessings to be bestowed upon
them through the instrumentality of the trial.
A.D. 1838.] 223
Trowbridge, Feb. 1, 1838.
To the Saints, united together in Fellowship, and assembling
at Bethesda and Gideon Chapels, Bristol.
T}ear Brethren,
Twelve weeks have passed away since I last
ministered among you. I should have written to you
repeatedly during that period, had I not thought it better
to put aside every mental occupation which could be
deferred, as my head is unfit for mental exertion; but I
would now rather write a few lines, than appear unmindful
of you. You are dear to me; yea, so dear, that I desire
to live and die with you, if our Lord permit, and why
should I not tell you so by letter P I will write, then, as
a token of brotherly remembrance and of love towards
you : and may it be a means of quickening you to prayer
on my behalf.
In looking back upon my past life, I know not where
to begin, and where to end, in making mention of the
Dord’s mercies. His long-suffering towards me in the
days of my unregeneracy cannot be described. You know
a little of my sinful life, before I was brought to the Lord;
still you know but very little. If, however, I have much
reason to praise God for his mercies towards me in those
days, I have more abundant reason to admire his gentle-
aess, long-suffering, and faithfulness towards me since I
have known him. He has step by step led me on, and
he has not broken the bruised reed. His gentleness
towards me has been great indeed, very great. (Brethren,
let us follow God, in dealing gently with each other I)
He has borne with my coldness, half-heartedness, and
backsliding. In the midst of it all, he has treated me as
his child. How can I sufficiently praise him for this long-
suffering P (Brethren, let us imitate our Father, let us.
bear long, and suffer long with each other') He has
been always the same gracious, kind, loving Father, Friend,
Supporter, Teacher, Comforter, and all in all to me, as he
was at the beginning. No variableness has been found in
him towards me, though I have again and again provoked
him. I say this to my shame. (Brethren, let us seek to
be faithful, in the Lord, towards each other | Let us
seek to love each other in the truth, and for the truth’s
sake, without variableness / It is easy, comparatively, to
224 [A.D. 1838.
begin to love; but it requires much watchfulness not to
grow weary in love, when little or no love is returned;
yea, when we are unkindly treated, instead of being loved.
Dut as our gracious, faithful God, notwithstanding all our
variableness, loves us without change, so should we, his
children, love each other. Lord, help us so to do )
Besides this gentleness, long-suffering, and faithfulness,
which the Lord has manifested towards me, and which I
have experienced in common with you all, the Lord has
bestowed upon me peculiar blessings and privileges. One
of the chief is, that he has condescended to call me for
the ministry of his word. How can I praise him suffi-
ciently for this One who was such a sinner, such a ser-
vant of Satan, so fit for hell, so deserving of everlasting
destruction, was not merely cleansed from sin and made
a child of God through faith in the Lord Jesus, and thus
fitted for heaven, and did not merely receive the sure pro-
mise that he should have eternal glory; but was also
called unto, and, in a measure, qualified for the expound-
ing of the word of God. I magnify him for this honour!
—But more than this. More than eleven years, with very
little interruption, have I been allowed, more or less, to
preach the word. My soul does magnify the Lord for
this More still. The Lord has condescended to use
me as an instrument in converting many sinners, and, in
a measure at least, in benefiting many of his children.
For this honour I do now praise God, and shall praise him
not merely as long as I live, but as long as Thave a being.
But I do not stop here. I have many other reasons to
speak well of the Lord, but I would only mention one.
It is my present affliction. Yes, my present affliction is
among the many things, for which I have very much rea-
son to praise God; and I do praise him for it. Before
you, before the whole church of Christ, and before the
world would I confess that God has dealt in very kind-
ness towards me in this affliction. I own, I have not
borne it without impatience and fretfulness; T own, I have
been several times overcome by irritability of temper on
account of it; but nevertheless, after the inner man, I
praise God for the affliction, and I do desire from my
heart, that it may truly benefit me, and that it may not
be removed till the end has been answered, for which it
has been sent. God has blessed me in this trial, and is
A.D. 1838.] 225
still blessing me.—As I know you love me, (unworthy as
I am of it), and feel interested about me, Imention a few
of the many mercies with which God has favoured me
during these twelve weeks. 1. At the commencement of
my illness, when my head was affected in a manner quite
new to me, and when thus it continued day after day, I
feared lest I should lose my reason.—This created more
real internal suffering than ever I had known before. But
our gracious Lord supported me. His precious gospel was
full of comfort to me. All, all will be well, was invariably
the conclusion, the conclusion grounded upon Scripture,
to which I came; yea, all will be well with me eternally,
though the heaviest of all earthly trials should come upon
me, even that of dying in a state of insanity.—I was once
near death, as I then thought, nearly nine years ago; I
was full of comfort at that time; but to be comfortable,
to be able quietly to repose upon God, with the prospect
of an affliction before one, such as I have now mentioned,
—is more than to be comfortable in the prospect of death,
at least for a believer.—Now, is it not well to be afflicted,
in order to obtain such an experience P And have I not
reason, therefore, to thank God for this affliction ?
Oxford, Feb. 6, 1838.
When I began to write the foregoing lines, beloved
brethren, I intended to write but very briefly ; but as I
love you, and as I have abundant reason to magnify the
TIOrd, my pen ran on, till my head would follow no longer.
—I go on now to mention some other mercies which the
Lord has bestowed upon me, through my present affliction.
2. Through being deprived for so long a time of the
privilege of preaching the word to sinners and saints, the
Lord has been pleased to create in me a longing for this
blessed work, and to give me at the same time to feel the
importance of it, in a degree in which I never had ex-
perienced it before. Thus the Tord has fitted me some-
what more for his work, by laying me aside from it. Good
therefore is the Lord, and kind indeed, in disabling me
from preaching. Great has been my trial, after the self-
willed old nature, not to be able to preach; and long ere
this, unfit as I was for it, should I have resumed the work,
had I followed my own will; but hitherto have I con-
sidered it most for the glory of God, quietly to refrain
226 [A.D. 1838.

from outward service, in order to glorify him by patient
submission, till my Lord shall be pleased to condescend
to call his servant forth again for active engagements.
And then, I know, he will give me grace, cheerfully to go
back to the delightful service of pointing sinners to the
Lamb of God, and of feeding the church.
3. Through this affliction I have known earperimentally
in a higher degree than I knew it before, how, if obliged
to refrain from active service, one can nevertheless as
really and truly help the armies of Jesus, through secret
prayer, as if one were actively engaged in the proclama-
tion of the truth.—This point brings to my mind a truth,
of which we all need to be reminded frequently, even this,
that at all times, and under all circumstances, we may
really and truly serve the Lord, and fight for his kingdom,
by seeking to manifest his mind, and by giving ourselves
to prayer.
4. Through the instrumentality of this affliction the
Lord has been pleased to show me, how I may lay out
myself more fully for his service in the proclamation of
his truth; and, by his grace, if ever restored for active
service, I purpose to practise what he has shown me.
5. Through being deprived so much from meeting with
the brethren as I have been these thirteen weeks, I have
learned somewhat more to value the privilege of meeting
with them, than I did before. For as my head has been
much affected, even through one meeting on the Lord's
day, I have seen how highly I ought to have prized the
days, when twice or thrice I could meet with the saints,
without suffering from it.—Bear with me, brethren, when
I beseech you, highly to esteem the opportunities of
assembling yourselves together. Precede them with
prayer; for only in as much as you do so, have you a
right to expect a blessing from them. Seek to treasure
up, not merely in your memory, but in your heart, the
truths which you hear; for soon you may be deprived of
these privileges, and soon you may be called upon to
practise what you hear. Brethren, let us not learn the
greatness of our privileges, by being deprived of them.—
I also delight in mentioning some of the particulars in
which the Lord’s kindness to me has appeared in this
affliction, and whereby he has shown, that he does not lay
more on us, than is absolutely needful.
A.D. 1838.] -, 227
1. You know, that since May 1836, I was able to walk
but little. This infirmity the Lord entirely removed,
just before I became afflicted in my head. This was ex-
ceedingly kind; for air and exercise are the only means,
which almost immediately relieve my head. How much
greater would have been the affliction, had I not been able
to walk about in the air l—Truly, “he stayeth his rough
wind, in the day of his east wind.”—I delight in pointing
out the gentleness of the stroke.
Oxford, Feb. 7, 1838.
2. The Lord might have chosen to confine me to my
bed, and kept me there in much pain these thirteen weeks,
for the sake of teaching me the lessons which he pur-
poses me to learn through this affliction; instead of this,
the pain in my head has been so slight, that it would not
be worth mentioning, were it not connected with a weak-
ness of the mental faculties, which allows of but little
exertion.
3. Further, it might have pleased the Lord to incapa-
citate me altogether for active service, but instead of this,
he has still allowed me, in some small measure, to help by my
judgment in some church matters, to write some letters in
his service, to speak now and then a word to believers for
the furtherance of their faith, and to confess his name
repeatedly before unconverted persons with whom I have
met on my journeys. Besides all this, I have had strength
for other work connected with the kingdom of Jesus
Christ.
4. In one other point the Lord has been especially
gracious to me, in that, while I have been unable to
preach, unable to write or read much, or even to converse
for any length of time with the brethren, he has allowed
me always sufficient strength for as much secret prayer as
I desired. Even praying with others has been often
trying to my head; but prayer in secret has not only
never tried my head, but has been habitually (I mean the
act of prayer) a relief to my head. Oh how can I
sufficiently praise God for this. How comparatively slight
are any trials to a child of God, as long as under them he
is enabled to converse freely with his Father And so
sweet has been this communion with my Father, a few
times, and so have I been enabled to pour out my heart
before him, that whilst those favoured seasons have lasted,
228 [A.D. 1888.
I not only felt the affliction to be no affliction, and could
call it, from my heart, sweet affliction; but I was almost
unwilling soon to go back to the multiplicity of engage-
ments in Bristol, lest I should not have leisure to continue
so much in prayer, meditation, and the study of his word.
Shall I not then praise my Father for such dealings with
me? Do I not even now see this affliction working for
my good? I say, therefore, after the inward man:
Father, continue thy hand upon me, as long as it shall
seem good in thy sight, only bless my soul!—But, bre-
thren, do not mistake me, as if I meant that I prayed
habitually with much earnestness. O no I pray a little
habitually, I pray now and then much ; but I pray by no
means as much as my strength and present time allow
me. Therefore ask God on my behalf, that grace may be
given me, habitually to pray much ; and you will surely
be profited by it.—But I could not help alluding to this
point, as the Lord’s kindness is so particularly seen in
this matter.
5. Lastly, I cannot omit mentioning the kindness of
the Lord, in opening the houses of some of his children
at Bath, Trowbridge, and Oxford for me, during this my
affliction. These dear saints have shown me much kind-
ness. But while I would be grateful to them for it, I dis-
cern the hand of God in influencing their hearts. More-
over, I have had kind medical attendants. And you, my
dear brethren, though I have been unable to minister
among you, have continued to supply my temporal wants,
for which I thank you, and in all of which I see the gra-
cious, loving hand of my Father, who through all this, as
by a voice from heaven, tells me: “My child, even bodily
health and strength would I give, were it good for thee.”
I therefore desire to wait for the good pleasure of my
God concerning this point.
Your love will naturally ask, how I now am in body.
My disease, as my kind medical friends tell me, is an
inactive liver, which causes the pain in the head, and the
inability of exerting my mind for any length of time. In
addition to this, the nerves of the head seem to have suf-
fered, through over-exertion. As medicine had been tried
for about ten weeks, and had not given relief, it appeared
well, that I should give it up for a time, and simply travel
about for the benefit of the air. My own experience

A.D. 1838.] 229
teaches me, that this means is beneficial; for it gives
almost immediate relief. In consequence of this, I left
Trowbridge last Friday, and arrived on Saturday evening
at Oxford, where I am staying with dear brother and
sister B. I have here all that brotherly love can do for
me, and am in every way comfortable. It is now a week
since I have given up medicine, and I am at least not
worse, if not better; but I think I am a little better. I
wait on the Lord to show me his will, as to the place to
which I should go next.
As to my inner man, I am in peace, generally in peace,
and long for more conformity to the mind of Christ. My
chief desire is, that if it ever shall please the Lord to re-
store me again, to be sent back to active service with
increased humility, greater earnestness in the work,
greater love for perishing sinners, and a heart habitually
influenced by the truths which I preach.—Whether I shall
ever be restored for the work, I cannot say with certainty;
but if I may judge from the Lord’s dealings with me in
former times, I have reason to believe, that I shall yet be
allowed to labour again.
In conclusion, dear brethren, pray for my dear brother
and fellow-labourer. Esteem him highly in the Lord ;
for he is worthy of all honour.—I would write more, for
I have much more to speak of; but as I purpose, if God
allows me the pleasure, to write again soon, I leave it till
then. Farewell.
Your affectionate brother and servant in the Lord,
GEORGE MüLLER.
Eeb. 13. These ten days I have been staying in Oxford,
though I came only for one or two; but I have stayed to
see the Lord's hand leading me away from hence. I have
now been led to decide on going to Lutterworth to see
brother , to converse with him about accompanying
him on a journey to the Continent, with reference to Mis-
sionary objects. When I had come to this decision, I
took another ride, the horse being well again; but now
this formerly quiet horse was self-willed and shy, which
does not at all suit me in the weak state of my nervous
system. As horse exercise had kept me here longer than
I had intended to stay, and as I cannot now ride on this
horse which before suited me so well, I see, even in this, in
Y
280 [A.D. 1888.
itself, trifling circumstance, a confirmation that I had
been right in my decision to leave Oxford.
Feb. 16. Lutterworth. I arrived here on the evening
of the 14th. I have been decidedly worse since I have
been here, and was obliged again to have recourse to
medicine. A brother having strongly recommended me,
whilst in Oxford, to go to Leamington on account of my
health, and having at the same time offered to pay my
expenses during my stay there, and being now so very
unwell again, and so near Leamington, I decided to-night
upon accepting his kindness, provided that my kind phy-
sician in Bristol had no objection.
Feb. 17. Leamington. I left Lutterworth this morn-
ing, where I have received much kindness. There was no
inside place, and I was very unwell; but the fear of being
quite laid up at Lutterworth, and becoming burdensome
to those dear saints who had received me into their house,
though a stranger to them; and having still no desirable
medical advice; and the remembrance that the Lord had
graciously enabled me, even lately, to travel outside in
cold weather; induced me to get on the coach, and I rode
off in a heavy fall of snow. But God had mercy. After
eight miles’ ride, at Rugby, I obtained an inside place.
The rest of the way was crowned with mercies. I had a
room to myself at Southam, found a suitable dinner just
ready, had an inside place to Leamington, and was pre-
served by the way, though the coachman was quite in-
toxicated, and drove furiously.—I had asked the Lord to
let me find a suitable and cheap lodging at Leamington,
and the first lodging I saw I took, for which I pay only
ten shillings weekly. Thus, a few minutes after my ar-
rival, I sat comfortably at my own fireside. How very
kind of the Lord
Feb. 26. Yesterday and to-day I have suffered again
in my head, though I have been on the whole better since
I have taken the Leamington waters. But far more
trying has been the internal conflict which I have had.
Grace fought against evil suggestions of one kind and
another, and prevailed; but it was a very trying season.
This was much increased by receiving neither yesterday
nor to-day a letter from my dear wife. Grace sought out
for reasons why she had not written; nevertheless it was
a very trying season. To-day I earnestly prayed to God
A.D. 1838.] 231
to send my wife to me, as I feel that by being alone, and
afflicted as I am in my head, and thus fit for little mental
employment, Satan gets an advantage over me.
IFeb. 27. God has had mercy upon me. The sore and
sharp trial, the very bitter conflict is over.—This morning
also I received a letter, which ought to have come yester-
day, and which showed me that my dear wife had not
been remiss in writing. She announced her purpose of
coming to-day, and God, in mercy to me, brought her
safely.
March 3. My head has been on the whole better
these two weeks, than it has been for several months;
but still I am not well. I have walked every day for the
last thirteen days, between three and four hours a day,
and by the mercy of God am able to do so, without much
fatigue.
March 11. My health is much the same. I am pretty
well, but have no mental energy.—I have read during the
last weeks once more, with as much or more interest than
ever, I. and II. of Samuel, and I. and II. of Kings.-I
have now, after repeated prayer, come to the conclusion,
(if brother Craik, to whom I have written, sees no objec-
tion, and if my physician thinks it would be beneficial to
my health), to accompany brother to Germany,
that thus: 1. I might aid him by my advice in reference
to the object of his journey; 2, that thus, if the Lord
will, through the journey and the benefit of my native
air, my health might be benefited; and 3, that I might
once more have an opportunity of setting the truth before
my father and brother.
March 12. I feel quite comfortable in the prospect of
going to Germany. I trust it will prove to be as much
of God, as it was shown to have been the last time.
March 13. I had a letter to-day from brother Craik,
who thinks it desirable that I should go to Germany, but
my physician says, that I should not go for a month or
two, for that my mind ought not to be burdened. I am
in peace, and from this I see that the Lord has made me
willing to do his and not my own will. I wrote to
brother the result of to-day, and have now left it
with him, whether he will wait, or go on the 21st, as he
purposes.
March 14–20. During these days, as before, I have
X 2 . -
232 [A.D. 1838.
continued to read the Scriptures with prayer, i. e. turning
what I read into prayer, chiefly with a reference to myself.
My days generally pass away in peace. It is a trial to
me, to have to care so much about my body, but on the
whole the Lord gives me grace to submit patiently, but
not always. To-day I saw again my medical adviser, who
wishes me to stay another week.
March 23. To-day I received a letter from brother
He is not gone, and will wait for me. I have in-
creased assurance that I shall go to Berlin, and have
comfort in the thought.
March 24. A few days ago I had particular comfort
in meditating on the Lord’s prayer in Luke (which came
in the course of my meditation), after having been temp-
ted to pass it over, as it had been the subject of my
meditation a short time before.—Within the last fort-
night I have read with meditation and prayer from the
4th to the 12th chapter of the Gospel by Luke.
April 2. For some time I have been getting weary of
my stay here. Yesterday I pleaded especially that word
Psalm ciii. 13: “Like as a father pitieth his children, so
the Lord pitieth them that fear him.” I begged God to
pity me, and to release me from the necessity of staying
any longer at Leamington, if it might be. To-day I saw
my physician, and he has allowed me to leave. Thus the
Lord has granted my request.
April 3. My dear Mary left for Bristol, and I for
London, on my way to Germany. I was led to read, this
morning, Psalm crxi. with my dear wife before we sepa-
rated, which we both felt to be very appropriate to our
circumstances.
April 6. This evening I went on board the steamer
for Hamburg.
April 7. All the day ill from sea sickness.
April 8. Lord’s day. I was able to get up this morn-
ing, and to take my meals.—Last night I was led to
praise God for having made me his child, considering that
I was most likely the only one on board that knew him.
This morning, however, I found a sister in the Lord among
the passengers, with whom I had much conversation.—
At dinner she manifested more grace, in testifying against
evil, than I did. At tea time I had grace, in some mea-
sure, to speak of Jesus before the company, and to con-
fess him as my Lord.

A.D. 1838.1 233 *
April 9, We arrived at Hamburg about one in the
morning, having had a most favourable passage of about
48 hours, and at seven I went on shore. It had been
repeatedly my prayer that I might soon find out brother
, who had gone three days before me to Hamburg,
and immediately after my arrival, in answer to prayer,
without any difficulty, I found out where he lodged.
April 14. Berlin. We arrived here the evening before
last. Having been yesterday and this morning seeking
for lodgings, without being able to obtain any that were
suitable, I at last became irritated. Surely there was
lack of earnest prayer on my part in this matter, and want
of patience in waiting the Lord’s own time, and want of
openness, in not telling brother that I was tired, and
that, on account of my weakness, I was unable thus to go
about from place to place. At last the Lord directed us
to two suitable rooms, and I feel now again comfortable,
in my quiet retirement, after having confessed my sin of
irritability to the Lord and to brother tº
April 15–21. We met several times during this week
with certain brethren who desire to give themselves to
Missionary service, and prayed and read the Scriptures
with them, and made such remarks as seemed to be im-
portant in connexion with the work. In addition to this
we saw the brethren privately at our lodgings, two, three,
or four at a time. But I have still felt the great weak-
mess of my mental powers, and have been only able to
attend to this work about three hours a day.—Since my
arrival here I have had two letters from my dear Mary.
Harriet Culliford, one of the Orphans, and formerly one
of the most unpromising children, has been removed.
She died as a true believer, several of the brethren who saw
her being quite satisfied about her state. Surely this
pays for much trouble and for much expense ! My wife
also mentions some fresh instances of the Lord’s blessing
resting upon my Narrative.—I am now, after prayer, this
day, April 21, quite sure that I should leave Berlin, and
go to my father at once, as the work here is too much for
my head.
April 22. Confirmation-day of the children in Berlin.
The son of the person with whom we lodge was confirmed,
and in the evening they had the violin and dancing. How
awful!—A few days since I heard that a brother in the
X 3
234 [A.D. 1838.
Lord, an old friend of mine, and one of the two alluded
to in the first part of this Narrative, page 15, was in pri-
son on account of his religious views. This brought
afresh before me the privileges which the children of God
enjoy in England.—I saw a few days since another bro-
ther in prison, who, as an unconverted young man, in the
university, was once at a political club, and had his name
enrolled, in consequence of this, in the list of the *.
cal students. Shortly afterwards he was converted, and
gave up all connexion with these political students. He
finished his university course and afterwards became a
tutor to the sons of a baron. In that family he had been
for a considerable time, when one night he was fetched by
the police out of his bed and taken to prison, on the
ground of this his connexion with the political club three
or four years before. [The result was that he was for
many months in prison. Now he is a Missionary in the
East Indies. I have related this circumstance to remind
the reader afresh, that though the Lord freely and fully
forgives us all our sins at once when we believe, yet he
may allow us to suffer the consequences of them in a
greater or less degree.]
April 24. Left Berlin last evening for Magdeburg.
Had a long conversation with two deists in the mail. God
helped me to make a full confession of his dear Son, in
answer to prayer for grace to be enabled to do so. This
afternoon I arrived at Heimersleben, the small town
where my father lives. Once more then I have met with
my dear aged parent, who is evidently fast hastening to
the grave, and seems to me not likely to live through the
next winter. I arrived just at the time when the Fair
was held in the town. How great, how exceedingly great,
the difference in me, as to my feelings respecting such
things now, from what they were formerly
April 25–28. Stay at Heimersleben. The Lord has
given me both an opportunity and grace to speak more
fully, more simply, and more to the heart of my father
about the things of God, and in particular about the plan
of salvation, than I had ever done before. I trust that,
in judgment at least, he is convinced that there is some-
thing lacking in him. All the time of my stay here he
has been most affectionate. I spoke also fully again to
my poor brother, who is now completely living in open

A.D. 1838.] 235
sin. Oh to grace, what a debtor am I?—Brother Knabe,
who was the only believer in Heimersleben, as far as I
have been able to learn, died about eighteen months
SIIlC6.
April 28. To-day I left for Magdeburg. My father
accompanied me about eight miles. Both of us, I think,
felt, when about to separate, that we were parting from
each other, never again to meet on earth. How would it
have cheered the separation on both sides, were my dear
father a believer! But it made my heart indeed sad to
see him, in all human probability, for the last time, without
having Scriptural ground for hope respecting his soul.—
I arrived in the afternoon at Magdeburg, and went to a
brother, a musician in one of the regiments of that fortress,
who is on the point of leaving the army to go to the East
Indies as a Missionary. In his lodgings I saw another
brother, a private soldier, who lives in the barracks, who
told me, on my inquiring, that he goes into the sand
cellar, which is perfectly dark, in order to obtain oppor-
tunity for secret prayer. How great the privilege of
those who may freely have both time and place for retire-
ment ; but how great, at the same time, our obligation to
improve these opportunities —This evening at eight I
went on board an Elbe-steamer for Hamburg.
April 30. This morning at seven I arrived at Hamburg.
Nothing particular happened during the passage, except
that we stuck fast, in a shallow part of the river, through
the carelessness of one of the sailors; but the Lord heard
prayer, and after a little while the steamer could ply
again.
May 1. Yesterday and to-day I spent in an hotel at
Hamburg in writing letters. I had also, though staying
at an hotel, much real communion with God in reading
the Scriptures and in prayer. This evening I embarked
for London.
May 4. London. Left Hamburg on the 2nd. Had
a fine passage. I have, by the mercy of God, been kept.
from light and trifling conversation; but I have not con-
fessed the Lord Jesus as plainly as I ought to have done.
This afternoon I arrived at the house of my dear friends
in London, who received me with their usual kindness.
After prayer I see it my duty to leave to-morrow for
236 [A.D. 1838.
Leamington, to see my physician there once more, and
then to go as soon as I can to Bristol.
May 5. Leamington. Through the mercy of the Lord
the journey to Germany, concerning which I had prayed
so often, is now over, and I am safely brought back again
to this place.—It has been a wet and cold day, but God
has in mercy preserved me from injury, though I got wet.
I had some conversation with a clergyman on the coach;
I confessed the Lord Christ a little, but not plainly
enough.-I had asked the Lord to give me a quiet and
cheap resting place in my former lodgings, if it might be,
and accordingly they were unlet.
May 7. This morning I left Leamington for Bristol.
I had grace to confess the Lord Jesus the last part of the
way before several merry passengers, and had the honour
of being ridiculed for his sake. There are few things in
which I feel more entirely dependant upon the Lord,
than in confessing him on such occasions. Sometimes I
have, by grace, had much real boldness; but often I have
manifested the greatest weakness, doing no more than
refraining entirely from unholy conversation, without,
however, speaking a single word for him who toiled
beyond measure for me. No other remedy do I know for
myself and any of my fellow-saints who are weak, like
myself, in this particular, than to seek to have the heart
so full of Jesus, and to live so in the realization of
what he has done for us, that, without any effort, out of
the full heart, we may speak for him.—I found my dear
family in peace.
May 8. This evening I went to the prayer meeting at
Gideon. I read Psalm ciii. and was able to thank the
Lord publicly for my late affliction. This is the first time
that I have taken any part in the public meetings of the
brethren, since November 6th, 1837.
May 13. To-day I was much helped in expounding
the Scriptures publicly. When I began I knew not how
the Lord would deal with me, whether I should be able
to speak or not, as my head is still very weak. But the
Lord helped me. I did not feel any loss of mental power.
How gracious of the Lord to allow me again to commence
serving him in the ministry of his word!—[For several
months after this I preached, on the whole, with much


A.D. 1838.] 237
more enjoyment, and with much more earnestness and
prayerfulness, than I did before I was taken ill. I also
felt more the solemnity of the work.]
May 18. To-day a brother gave me 5l. for my personal
expenses, which the Lord sent very seasonably towards
the payment of a bill for medical attendance during my
illness.--About this time there were also given to me two
new hats, from different individuals, being the 9th and
10th which I have received as tokens of brotherly love,
since I have been in England.
June 11. A stranger called on me, and told me, that,
many years ago, he had defrauded two gentlemen of a
Small sum, and that he wished to restore the same with
interest. He also stated that he had read my Narrative,
and, feeling confidence in me, he requested me to convey
this money to those gentlemen, giving me, at the same
time, their names and place of abode. He intrusted me
with four sovereigns for each of them. At the same time
he gave me one sovereign for myself, as a token of Chris-
tian love. I never saw the individual before, nor do I up
to this moment know his name. I conveyed this money,
however, not by post, as he wished, but through two bank
orders, in order that thus I might be able to show, should
it be needful, that I actually did send the money; for in
all such matters it becomes one to act with particular
caution.—It may be that this fact will be read by some
who have, like this stranger, before their conversion,
defrauded certain individuals. If so, let them like him,
or like Zaccheus of old, restore what they took, and, if
they have the means, with interest or compound interest.
June 13. Last evening my dear wife was taken ill.
Often had I prayed respecting her hour, and now was
the time to look out for the answer. She continued in
most severe sufferings from a little after mine until mid-
night. Thus hour after hour passed away until eleven
this morning, Another medical attendant was then called
in, at the desire of the one who attended her. At three
in the afternoon she was delivered of a still-born child.—
The whole of the night I was in prayer, as far as my
strength allowed me. I cried at last for MERCY, and
God heard.
June 14. My dearest wife is alive, but I am depend-
ing upon God for her life every moment. She is in much
238 [A.D. 1888.
peace. A sister gave me this evening 5l. on account of
dear Mary’s illness.-[Again we had not thought it well
to make pecuniary provision for this time, though at no
period of my life had I more abundant means of doing so
than during the last few months; but our gracious Father
helped us abundantly in this and in other instances, as I
shall mention below.]
June 22. To-day there was sent to us anonymously,
by post, 5l. for our own personal expenses, at this the time
of our affliction, when our expenses are so great. . The
donor accompanied the 5l. note with an affectionate letter
to my wife and myself.
July 6. My dear wife, who for more than a fortnight
after her delivery was so ill, that the two medical attend-
ants came twice or three times daily, seems now, humanly
speaking, likely to recover, and to be given back to me as
from the dead. Lord, help me so to receive her!
July 12. From the commencement of the establish-
ment of the Orphan-Houses, up to the end of June 1838,
the hand of the Lord was seen in the abundance with
which he was pleased to supply me with the means for
maintaining nearly 100 persons. Now, however, the time
is come when the “Father of the fatherless '' will show
his especial care over them in another way.—The funds,
which were this day twelvemonth about 780l., are now
reduced to about 20l. ; but thanks be to the Lord, my
faith is as strong, or stronger, than it was when we had
the larger sum in hand; nor has he at any time, from
the commencement of the work, allowed me to distrust
him. Nevertheless, as our Lord will be inquired of, and
as real faith is manifested as such by leading to prayer,
I gave myself to prayer with brother T of the Boys’
Orphan-House, who had called on me, and who, besides
my wife, and brother Craik, is the only individual to
whom I speak about the state of the funds. While we
were praying, an orphan child from Frome was brought,
and some believers at Frome, having collected among
them 5l., sent this money with the child. Thus we
received the first answer at a time of need. We have
given notice for seven children to come in, and purpose to
give notice for five more, though our funds are so low, hoping
that God will look on our necessities. [Observe how
gently the Lord dealt with us, in that, when want ap-
A.D. 1838.] 239
proached, he helped at once, in immediate answer to
prayer, in order thus to increase our confidence in him ;
but, at the same time, to prepare us for sharper trials
of our faith.]
July 17 and 18. These two days we have had two
especial prayer meetings, from 6 to 9 in the evening, to
commend publicly to the Lord the Boys' Orphan-House.
The meetings had been deferred until now, on account of
my illness. In the morning of the 18th I expounded,
with especial reference to children, 1 Samuel iii., before
above 550 children, being our Orphan and Day-School
children, and, as many as could come, of those belonging
to the Sunday-School. What a great work What an
honour to be allowed to provide Scriptural instruction for
so many little ones. Lord, help me to make use of my
talents for the benefit of the rising generation, and let me
serve my generation according to thy will!—Our funds
for the Orphans are now very low. There are about 201.
in hand, and in a few days 30l. at least will be needed;
but I purposely avoided saying any thing about our
present necessities, and spoke only, to the praise of God,
about the abundance with which our gracious Father,
“the Father of the fatherless,” has hitherto supplied us.
This was done in order that the hand of God, in sending
help, may be so much the more clearly seen.
July 22. This evening I was walking in our little
garden, meditating on Heb. xiii. 8, “Jesus Christ the
same yesterday, and to-day, and for ever.” Whilst medi-
tating on his unchangeable love, power, wisdom, &c.—
and turning all, as I went on, into prayer respecting my-
self; and whilst applying likewise his unchangeable love,
and power, and wisdom, &c., both to my present spiritual
and temporal circumstances:—all at once the present
need of the Orphan-Houses was brought to my mind.
Immediately I was led to say to myself, Jesus in his love
and power has hitherto supplied me with what I have
needed for the Orphans, and in the same unchangeable
love and power he will provide me with what I may need
for the future. A flow of joy came into my soul whilst
realizing thus the unchangeableness of our adorable Lord.
About one minute after, a letter was brought me, enclosing
a bill for 20l. In it was written: “Will you apply the
amount of the enclosed bill to the furtherance of the

240 [A.D. 1838,
objects of your Scriptural Knowledge Society, or of your
Orphan Establishment, or in the work and cause of our
Master in any way that he himself, on your application to
him, may point out to you. It is not a great sum, but it
is a sufficient provision for the exigency of to-day; and it
is for to-day’s exigencies, that, ordinarily the Lord pro-
vides. To-morrow, as it brings its demands, will find its
supply, etc.” [Of this 20!. I took 10l. for the Orphan
fund, and 10l. for the other objects, and was thus enabled
to meet the expenses of about 34!. which, in connexion
with the Orphan-Houses, came upon me within four days
afterwards, and which I knew beforehand would come.]
On July 26 sailed from Liverpool for the East Indies,
for Missionary service, twelve German brethren and three
sisters, as the result of the journey of brother and
myself to the Continent, in April last. The same brother
has given me the power of drawing as much money as may
be needed to defray the expenses of the voyage, outfit,
etc., of any German or English brethren, who in depend-
ance upon the Lord, desire to go to India for Missionary
service, and of whose going I shall approve. This fact
serves to confirm what I have long known to be true,
that there is much less difficulty in obtaining the pecuniary
'means needful for the Lord’s work than in procuring
suitable individuals for it.
July 27. Yesterday the funds for the Orphans were
reduced to 31. Blessed be God, my confidence in him
was unshaken I received yesterday 2l. 13s. To-day I
was going with my family for change of air to Durdham
Down, and thought it well, therefore, to take out any
money which there might be in the Orphan-Box in my
house. When I opened it, I found a ten pound note and
three half crowns. I had been waiting on God for means,
both yesterday and to-day, and thus he has again shown
how willing he is to help. -
Aug. 6. During this week I shall have to pay again at
least 35l. for the Orphans, and have but about 191, towards
it. My eyes are up to the “Father of the fatherless.”
I believe he will help, though I know not how.
Aug. 7. How graciously has the Lord again appeared,
and that in so short a time! How has he sent help, from
altogether unexpected quarters! I have been praying
yesterday and to-day earnestly, beseeching the Lord now
A.D. 1838.] 241
to appear, and to show his power, that the enemies might
not say, “Where is now thy God?” I reminded him
especially, that I had commenced the work that it might
be seen, that he, even in our day, is willing to answer
prayer, and that the provision for our Orphans might be a
visible proof to all around us of this truth. And now
observe | Last evening brother Craik told me that 107.
had been given him for the work in our hands; 5l. for the
Orphans, and 5l. for the School—Bible—and Missionary
fund. To-day, having to pay 25l., and not having quite
enough, when I went to brother T for the mone
which he might have received, as I knew that 25s. had
been given to him, I took with me the keys of the boxes
in the Orphan-Houses, to see whether the Lord had sent
in a little. I opened the box in the Boys'-Orphan-House,
and found 11.7s. 5%d. Immediately after I received from
brother T 13!. 19s. 10d., the greater part of which,
as he told me, had come in within the last few days.
Thus our adorable Lord has once more delivered; for I
have now even more than enough to meet the current
expenses of this week.
Aug. 16. When to-day the account books of the Boys'-
Orphan-House were brought, several days sooner than I
had expected them, it was found that there was 11.6s. 6d.
due to the matron. Besides this, money was to be ad-
vanced for house-keeping, and there was only 13s.5%d. in
hand. To this one of those connected with the work
added 21. This 27. 13s. 5; d. was sent to the matron,
whilst we were waiting upon God to send more help. In
the evening the boxes at the Girls’ and Infant-Orphan-
IHouses were opened, and in them was found 31.7s. 5%d.
Thus the Lord has kindly helped us again for two or
three days.
Aug. 18. I have not one penny in hand for the Or-
phans. In a day or two again many pounds will be needed.
My eyes are up to the Lord. Evening. Before this day
is over, I have received from a sister 5l. She had some
time since put away her trinkets, to be sold for the benefit
of the Orphans. This morning, whilst in prayer, it came
to her mind, I have this 5l., and owe no man any thing,
therefore it would be better to give this money at once, as
it may be some time, before I can dispose of the trinkets.
She therefore brought it, little knowing that there was not
Y
242 [A.D. 1838.
a penny in hand, and that I had been able to advance only
4l. 15s. 5d. for housekeeping in the Boys'-Orphan-House,
instead of the usual 101.; little knowing also, that within
a few days many pounds more will be needed. May my
soul be greatly encouraged by this fresh token of my
gracious Lord’s faithfulness!
Aug. 20. The 5l. which I had received on the 18th,
had been given for housekeeping, so that to-day I was
again pennyless. But my eyes were up to the Lord. I
gave myself to prayer this morning, knowing that I should
want again this week at least 13!., if not above 201. To-
day I received 12l. in answer to prayer, from a lady who
is staying at Clifton, whom I had never seen before.
Adorable Lord, grant that this may be a fresh encourage-
ment to me !
Aug. 23. To-day I was again without one single penny,
when 3l. was sent from Clapham, with a box of new clothes
for the Orphans.
Aug. 29. To-day sixteen believers were baptized. Of
all the baptisms which we have had, this was, perhaps,
the most remarkable. Among those who were baptized
was an aged brother of above 84 years, and one above 70.
For the latter his believing wife had prayed 38 years, and
at last the Lord answered her prayers in his conversion.
Should any believer who may read this, be on the point
of growing weary in prayer for his unconverted relatives,
because of the answer being delayed, the above fact may
be instrumental in stirring up such a one to give himself
to prayer with renewed earnestness and strengthened ex-
pectation. “In due season we shall reap, if we faint not.”
There were also among those who were baptized a blind
brother and sister, and two very young persons.
Aug. 31. I have been waiting on the Lord for means,
as the matron’s books from the Girls'-Orphan-House
have been brought, and there is no money in hand to
advance for housekeeping. But as yet the Lord has not
been pleased to send help. As the matron called to-day
for money, one of the labourers gave 21. of his own, for
the present necessities.
Sept. 1. The Lord in his wisdom and love has not yet
sent help. Whence it is to come, need not be my care.
But I believe God will, in due time, send help. His hour
is not yet come. As there was money needed in the
A.D. 1838.] e 243
Boys'-Orphan-House also, the same brother, just alluded
to, gave 2. for that also. Thus we were delivered at this
time likewise. But now his means are gone. This is the
most trying hour that as yet I have had in the work, as
it regards means; but I know that I shall yet praise the
Lord for his help. I have mentioned my arguments
before him, and my gracious Lord, “the Father of the
fatherless,” will send help.
Sept. 3. This morning the Lord again helped by 21.
which another labourer connected with the work gave.
This 27., together with sixpence which had been given
anonymously, was sent off to the Girls'-Orphan-House,
where all money must be gone. There came in further
11.14s. 8d. in the course of the day, which was given to
the matron of the Boys'-Orphan-House.
Sept. 5. Our hour of trial continues still. The Lord
mercifully has given enough to supply our daily necessi-
ties; but he gives by the day now, and almost by the hour,
as we need it. Nothing came in yesterday. I have be-
sought the Lord again and again, both yesterday and to-
day. It is as if the Lord said: “Mine hour is not yet
come.” But I have faith in God. I believe that he
surely will send help, though I know not whence it is to
come. Many pounds are needed within a few days, and
there is not a penny in hand. This morning 21. was
given for the present necessities, by one of the labourers
in the work.-Evening : This very day the Lord sent
again some help to encourage me to continue to wait on
him, and to trust in him. As I was praying this after-
noon respecting the matter, I felt fully assured that the
Lord would send help, and praised him beforehand for his
help, and asked him to encourage our hearts through it.
I have been also led yesterday and to-day to ask the Lord
especially, that he would not allow my faith to fail. A
few minutes, after I had prayed, brother T CàIſlē
and brought 47. 1s. 5d. which had come in, in several
small donations. He told me, at the same time, that to-
morrow the books will be brought from the Infant-
Orphan-House, when money must be advanced for house-
keeping. I thought for a moment, it might be well to
keep 3!. of this money for that purpose. But it occurred
to me immediately, “Sufficient unto the day is the evil
thereof.” The Lord can provide, by to-morrow, much
Y 2
244 - [A.D. 1838.
more than I need, and I therefore sent 3l. to one of the
sisters, whose quarterly salary was due, and the remaining
17. 1s. 5d. to the Boys'-Orphan-House for housekeeping.
Thus I am still penniless. My hope is in God: he will
provide.
Sept. 6. This morning the books were brought from
the Infant-Orphan-House, and the matron sent to ask
when she should fetch them, implying, when they would
have been looked over, and when money would be ad-
vanced for housekeeping. I said, “to-morrow,” though
I had not a single penny in hand. About an hour after
brother T– sent me a note, to say that he had re-
ceived 11, this morning, and that last evening a brother
had sent 29Ibs. of salt, 44 dozen of onions, and 26lbs. of
groats.
Sept. 7. The time had come that I had to send money
to the Infant-Orphan-House, but the Lord had not sent
any more. I gave, therefore, the 11. which had come in
yesterday, and 2s. 2d. which had been put into the box in
my house, trusting to the good Lord to send in more.
Sept. 8. Saturday evening. I am still in the hour of
probation. It has not pleased my gracious Lord to send
me help as yet.—The evening before last I heard brother
Craik preach on Genesis xii., about Abraham's faith. He
showed how all went on well, as long as Abraham acted
in faith, and walked according to the will of God; and
how all failed when he distrusted God. Two points I felt
particularly important in my case. 1. That I may not
go any by-ways, or ways of my own, for deliverance. I
have about 220l. in the bank, which, for other purposes
in the Lord's work, has been intrusted to me by a brother
and a sister. I might take of this money, and say but to
the sister—and write but to the brother, that I have
taken, in these my straits, 201., 50l., or 100l., for the Or-
phans, and they would be quite satisfied (for both of them
have liberally given for the Orphans, and the brother has
more than once told me, only to let him know when I
wanted money;) but this would be a deliverance of my
own, not God’s deliverance. Besides, it would be no
small barrier to the exercise of faith, in the next hour of
trial. 2. I was particularly reminded afresh, in hearing
brother Craik, of the danger of dishonouring the Lord in
that very way in which I have, through his grace, in some
A.D. 1838.] 245
small measure brought glory to him, even by trusting in
him.—Yesterday and to-day I have been º with
God eleven arguments why he would be graciously pleased
to send help. My mind has been in peace respecting the
matter. Yesterday the peace amounted even to joy in
the Holy Ghost. But this I must say, that the burden
of my prayer, during the last days, has been chiefly, that
the Lord in mercy would keep my faith from failing. My
eyes are up to him. He can help soon. One thing I am
sure of: In his own way, and in his own time he will
help. The arguments which I plead with God are:
1. That I set about the work for the glory of God, i. e.,
that there might be a visible proof, by God supplying, in
answer to prayer only, the necessities of the Orphans, that
he is the living God, and most willing, even in our day,
to answer prayer; and that, therefore, he would be pleased
to send supplies:
2. That God is the “Father of the fatherless,” and that
he, therefore, as their father, would be pleased to provide,
Psalm lxviii. 5.
3. That I have received the children in the name of
Jesus, and that, therefore, he, in these children, has been
received, and is fed, and is clothed; and that, therefore,
he would be pleased to consider this. Mark ix. 36, 37.
4. That the faith of many of the children of God has
been strengthened by this work hitherto, and that, if God
were to withhold the means for the future, those who are
weak in faith would be staggered; whilst, by a conti-
nuance of means, their faith might still further be
strengthened.
5. That many enemies would laugh, were the Lord to
withhold supplies, and say, did we not foretell that this
enthusiasm would come to nothing P
6. That many of the children of God, who are unin-
structed, or in a carnal state, would feel themselves justi-
fied to continue their alliance with the world in the work
of God, and to go on as heretofore, in their unscriptural
proceedings respecting similar institutions, so far as the
obtaining of means is concerned, if he were not to help me.
7. That the Lord would remember that I am his child,
and that he would graciously pity me, and remember that
I cannot provide for these children, and that therefore he
- Y 3
246 [A.D. 1838.
would not allow this burden to lie upon me long without
sending help.
8. That he would remember likewise my fellow-labourers
in the work, who trust in him, but who would be tried were
he to withhold supplies.
9. That he would remember that I should have to dis-
miss the children from under our Scriptural instruction
to their former companions.
10. That he would show that those were mistaken who
said, that, at the first, supplies might be expected, while
the thing was new, but not afterwards.
11. That I should not know, were he to withhold means,
what construction I should put upon all the many most
remarkable answers to prayer, which he had given me
heretofore in connexion with this work, and which most
fully have shown to me that it is of God.
In some small measure I now understand, experimen-
tally, the meaning of that word, “how long,” which so
frequently occurs in the prayers of the Psalms. But even
now, by the grace of God, my eyes are up unto him
only, and I believe that he will send help.
Sept. 10. Monday morning. Neither Saturday nor
yesterday had any money come in. It appeared to me
now needful to take some steps on account of our need,
i. e., to go to the Orphan-Houses, call the brethren and
sisters together, (who, except brother T , had never
been informed about the state of the funds), state the
case to them, see how much money was needed for the
present, tell them that amidst all this trial of faith I still
believed that God would help, and to pray with them.
Especially, also, I meant to go for the sake of telling
them that no more articles must be purchased than we
have the means to pay for, but to let there be nothing
lacking in any way to the children, as it regards nourish-
ing food and needful clothing; for I would rather at once
send them away than that they should lack. I meant to
go for the sake also of seeing whether there were still
articles remaining which had been sent for the purpose of
being sold, or whether there were any articles really
needless, that we might turn them into money. I felt
that the matter was now come to a solemn crisis.--About
half-past nine six-pence came in, which had been put
A.D. 1838.] 24,7
anonymously into the box at Gideon Chapel. This money
seemed to me like an earnest, that God would have com-
passion and send more. About ten, after I had returned
from brother Craik, to whom I had unbosomed my heart
again, whilst once more in prayer for help, a sister called
who gave two sovereigns to my wife for the Orphans,
stating that she had felt herself stirred up to come, and
that she had delayed coming already too long. A few
minutes after, when I went into the room where she was,
she gave me two sovereigns more, and all this without
knowing the least about our need. Thus the Lord most
mercifully has sent us a little help, to the great encou-
ragement of my faith. A few minutes after I was called
on for money from the Infant-Orphan-House, to which
I sent 21, and 11. 0s. 6d. to the Boys'-Orphan-House, and
11. to the Girls'-Orphan-House.
Brother Craik left Bristol to-day for a few days in com-
pany with another brother. I should have gone with
them for the sake of obtaining some quiet for my head ;
but I must remain, to pass with my dear Orphans through
the trial; though these dear little ones know nothing
about it, because their tables are as well supplied as when
there was 800l. in the bank, and they have lack of nothing.
To-day I saw a young brother who, as well as one of
his sisters, has been brought to the knowledge of the
Lord through my Narrative.
Sept. 11. The good Lord, in his wisdom, still sees it
needful to keep us very low. But this afternoon brother
T — called, and told me that one of our fellow-
labourers had sold his metal watch, and two gold pins,
for 11, 1s., that 9s. 6d. had come in, and that two of our
fellow-labourers had sent two lots of books of their own,
19 and 21 in number, to be sold for the Orphans. What
an abundant blessing, that in such a season of trial I
have such fellow-labourers | This 17. 10s. 6d. was given
to the Boys'-Orphan-House.
Sept. 12. Still the trial continues. Only 9s. came in
to-day, given by one of the labourers. In the midst of
this great trial of faith the Lord still mercifully keeps me
in great peace. He also allows me to see, that our labour
is not in vain; for yesterday died Leah Culliford, one of
the orphans, about 9 years old, truly converted, and
brought to the faith some months before her departure.
248 [A.D. 1838.
Sept. 13. No help has come yet. This morning I found
it was absolutely needful to tell the brethren and sisters
about the state of the funds, and to give necessary direc-
tions as to not going into debt, etc. We prayed together,
and had a very happy meeting. They all seemed com-
fortable. 12s. 6d. was taken out of the boxes in the three
houses, 12s. one of the labourers gave, and 11.1s. had
come in for needlework done by the children. One of
the sisters, who is engaged in the work, sent a message
after me, not to trouble myself about her salary, for she
should not want any for a twelvemonth. What a bless-
ing to have such fellow-labourers'
Sept. 14. I met again this morning with the brethren
and sisters for prayer, as the Lord has not yet sent help.
After prayer one of the labourers gave me all the money
he had, 16s., saying that it would not be upright to pray,
if he were not to give what he had. One of the sisters
told me, that in six days she would give 61, which she had
in the Savings' Bank for such a time of need. God be
praised for such fellow-labourers!—Up to this day the
matrons of the three houses had been in the habit of pay-
ing the bakers and the milkman weekly, because they
had preferred to receive the payments in this way, and
sometimes it had thus been also with the butcher and
grocer. But now, as the Lord deals out to us by the day,
we considered it would be wrong to go on any longer in
this way, as the week’s payment might become due, and
we have no money to meet it; and thus those with whom
we deal might be inconvenienced by us, and we be found
acting against the commandment of the Lord, “Owe no
man anything.” Rom. xiii. 8. From this day, and hence-
forward, whilst the Lord gives to us our supplies by the
day, we purpose therefore to pay at once for every article
as it is purchased, and never to buy any thing except we
can pay for it at once, however much it may seem to be
needed, and however much those with whom we deal may
wish to be paid only by the week. The little which was
owed was paid off this day.—When I came home I found
a large parcel of new clothes, which had been sent from
Dublin for the Orphans, a proof that the Lord remembers
us still. We met again in the evening for prayer. We
were of good cheer, and still BELIEVE that the Lord will
Supply our need,
A.D. 1838.] 249
Sept. 15. Saturday. We met again this morning for
prayer. God comforts our hearts. We are looking for
help. I found that there were provisions enough for to-
day and to-morrow, but there was no money in hand to
take in bread as usual, in order that the children might
not have newly baked bread. This afternoon one of the
labourers, who had been absent for several days from
Bristol, returned, and gave 1/. This evening we met
again for prayer, when I found that 10s. 6d. more had
come in since the morning. With this 11.10s. 6d. we
we were able to buy, even this Saturday evening, the
usual quantity of bread, (as it might be difficult to get
stale bread on Monday morning), and have some money
left. God be praised, who gave us grace to come to the
decision not to take any bread to-day, as usual, nor to
buy any thing for which we cannot pay at once. We
were very comfortable, thankfully taking this money out
of our Father's hands, as a proof that he still cares for us,
and that, in his own time, he will send us larger sums.
To-day a brother kindly paid the bill for medical at-
tendance on my dear wife during her confinement. The
same brother also had paid, some weeks since, the second
medical attendant, who was called in. Thus the Lord,
in various ways, sends help to us, showing continually his
fatherly care over us.
Sept. 16. Lord’s day afternoon. We met again for
prayer respecting supplies for the Orphans. We are in
peace, and our hope is in God, that he graciously will
appear, though but one shilling has come in since last
evening.
Sept. 17. The trial still continues. It is now more
and more trying, even to faith, as each day comes. Truly,
the Lord has wise purposes in allowing us to call so long
upon him for help. But I am sure God will send help, if
we can but wait. One of the labourers had had a little
money come in, of which he gave 12s. 6d. ; another labourer
gave 11s. 8d., being all the money she had left: this, with
17s. 6d., which, partly, had come in, and, partly, was in
hand, enabled us to pay what needed to be paid, and to
purchase provisions, so that nothing yet, in any way, has
been lacking. This evening I was rather tried respect-
ing the long delay of larger sums coming; but being led
to go to the Scriptures for comfort, my soul was greatly
250 [A.D. 1838.
refreshed, and my faith again strengthened, by the xxxivth
Psalm, so that I went very cheerfully to meet with my
dear fellow-labourers for prayer. I read to them the
Psalm, and sought to cheer their hearts through the pre-
cious promises contained in it.
Sept. 18. Brother T. had 25s. in hand, and I had 3s.
This 11.8s. enabled us to buy the meat and bread, which
was needed; a little tea for one of the houses, and milk
for all: no more than this is needed. Thus the Lord has
provided not only for this day, but there is bread for two
days in hand. Now, however, we are come to an extre-
mity. The funds are exhausted. The labourers, who
had a little money, have given as long as they had any
left.—Now observe how the Lord helped us! A lady
from the neighbourhood of London who brought a parcel
with money from her daughter, arrived four or five days
since in Bristol, and took lodgings next door to the Boys’
Orphan-House. This afternoon she herself kindly brought
me the money, amounting to 31, 2s. 6d. We had been
reduced so low as to be on the point of selling those
things which could be spared; but this morning I had
asked the Lord, if it might be, to prevent the necessity
of our doing so. That the money had been so near the
Orphan-Houses for several days without being given, is a
plain proof that it was from the beginning in the heart of
God to help us; but, because he delights in the prayers
of his children, he had allowed us to pray so long; also
to try our faith, and to make the answer so much the
sweeter. It is indeed a precious deliverance. I burst
out into loud praises and thanks the first moment I was
alone, after I had received the money. I met with my
fellow-labourers again this evening for prayer and praise;
their hearts were not a little cheered. This money was
this evening divided, and will comfortably provide for all
that will be needed to-morrow.
Sept. 20. Morning. The Lord has again kindly sent
in a little. Last evening was given to me 1s. 6d., and
this morning 11. 3s. Evening. This evening the Lord
sent still further supplies; 8l. 11s. 2; d. came in, as a fur-
ther proof that the Lord is not unmindful of us. There
was in the box of the Girls' Orphan-House ll. 1s., and in
that of the Boys' Orphan-House 11.7s. 2; d. One of the
labourers, in accordance with her promise this day week,

A.D. 1838.] 251
gave 6l. 8s. About eighteen months ago she saw it right
no longer to have money for herself in the Savings' Bank,
and she therefore, in her heart, gave the money which she
had there to the Orphan-Houses, intending to draw it in
a time of need. Some time since (she told me this even-
ing) she drew a part of it to buy several useful articles
for the Orphan-Houses; now the sum was reduced to 6l.
When she found out the present need, she went this day
week to the Savings' Bank, and gave notice that she
wished to draw her money to-day. Truly, as long as God
shall be pleased to give me such fellow-labourers, his
blessing will rest upon the work! This 8l. 11s. 2; d. was
divided this evening to supply the three houses, and we
thanked God, unitedly, for his help.
Sept. 22. Both yesterday and to-day we have again
assembled for prayer and praise. We are in no immedi-
ate want, but on the 29th 191. 10s. will be due for the
rent of the three Orphan-Houses.—To-day there was only
4s. 7d. in hand for the other objects of the Institution,
though it was the pay-day for some of the teachers. My
comfort was the living God. During this week he had
helped me so repeatedly and in such a remarkable way,
as it regards the Orphan-Houses, that it would have been
doubly sinful not to have trusted in him for help under
this fresh difficulty. No money came in this morning.
About two, the usual time when the teachers are paid, a
sovereign was given, with which I went immediately to
brother T. (who attends to this part of the work), to pay,
at least in part, the weekly salaries. Ifound that he had
received a sovereign in the morning. By means of this
sovereign, together with the one which I had received just
at the moment when it was needed, we were helped through
this day.
Sept. 25. Yesterday and the previous days we have
continued to assemble for prayer. In four days the rent
for the Orphan-Houses will be due, and we have nothing
towards it ; also the housekeeping money in the three
houses is now again gone. May the Lord have compas-
sion on us, and continue to send us help ! A little came
in this morning: there was found 9s. 6d. in the box in my
house.
Sept. 27. The 9s. 6d. which eame in the day before
yesterday, was given to the Infant-Orphan-House. Thus

252 [A.D. 1838.
we were helped through that day and yesterday. There
was every thing that was needed in the three houses; I
had made particular inquiry; there was meat even for
to-day. We met yesterday again for prayer. To-day I
was not able to go, on account of indisposition; I sent,
therefore, to brother T. to request him to divide the
18s. 6d., (10s. of which had come in last evening, and
8s. 6d. of which we had in hand), between the three
matrons. This afternoon I hear of a fresh deliverance
which the Lord has wrought. About five weeks ago, a
farmer applied for the admission of an orphan-girl, his
grand-daughter. As I knew, however, that he had the
means of providing for her, and as our Institution is only
for destitute orphans, I informed him that the child could
only be received, on condition of his paying 101, a year
for her support, (which is about the average expense for
the younger girls),and this, quarterly, in advance.* This
morning he came, brought the child, and paid 21. 10s. in
advance, and gave 11. besides. Thus the Lord has again
most seasonably helped us in this our time of need. May
he keep the memory of these deliverances alive in our
souls, and increase our confidence in him by every fresh
one ! In less than two days we have to pay 19!. 10s. for
rent 1 May the Lord keep us looking to him, and merci-
fully send help !
Sept. 29. Saturday evening. Prayer has been made
for several days past respecting the rent, which is due this
day. I have been looking out for it, though I knew not
whence a shilling was to come. This morning brother T.
called on me, and, as no money had come in, we prayed
together and continued in supplication from ten till a
quarter to twelve. Twelve o’clock struck (the time when
* Only two Orphans were received under such circumstances. Since
1841 we have had no child on such conditions, as we now consider, that,
if a relative would be able and willing to pay the average expense for
the support of a child, such an Orphan could not be considered destitute.
During the summer of 1855, three Orphans were applied for, and their
relatives offered to pay 50l. a year for these children to the funds of the
Institution. They were, however, not only not received, but their names
were not even entered on the list of those who are waiting for admission,
as they could not be considered destitute. Our object is not to obtain
funds for the Institution, but to provide by means of it for truly destitute
Orphans; hence, though 50l. is more than the average expense for three
Orphans in a year, we did not receive those three just referred to.
A.D. 1838.] 253
the rent ought to have been paid), but no money had
been sent. For some days past I have repeatedly had a
misgiving, whether the Lord might not disappoint us, in
order that we might be led to provide by the week, or the
day, for the rent. This is the second, and only the second,
complete failure as to answers of prayer in the work,
during the past four years and six months. The first was
about the half-yearly rent of Castle-Green school-rooms,
due July 1, 1837, which had come in only in part by that
time. I am now fully convinced that the rent ought to
be put by daily or weekly, as God may prosper us, in
order that the work, even as to this point, may be a testi-
mony. May the Lord, then, help us to act accordingly,
and may he now mercifully send in the means to pay the
rent!—-Whilst in this matter our prayers have failed, either
to humble us, or to show us how weak our faith is still,
or to teach us, (which seems to me the most probable),
that we ought to provide the rent beforehand; the Lord
has given us again fresh proofs, even this day, that he is
mindful of us. There was not money enough in the
Girls'-Orphan-House to take in bread, (we give the bread
to the children on the third day after it is baked); but
before the baker came, a lady called who had had some
needlework done by the children, and paid 3s. 11d., and
thus the matron was able to take in bread as usual. I
found this morning 2s. in the box in my house, our extre-
mity having led me to look into it. One of the labourers
gave 13s. This 15s. was divided amongst the three
matrons. Thanks to the Lord, there is all which is
needed for to-day and to-morrow.
Sept. 30. We are not only poor as regards the Or-
phan-fund, but also the funds for the other objects bring
us again and again to the Lord for fresh supplies. To-day,
when we had not a single penny in hand, 5l. was given
for the other objects.
Oct. 2. Tuesday evening. The Lord's holy name be
praised He hath dealt most bountifully with us during
the last three days The day before yesterday 5l. came
in for the Orphans. Of this I gave to each house 10s.,
which supplied them before the provisions were consumed.
Oh! how kind is the Lord. Always before there has
been actual want, he has sent help. Yesterday came in
1!. 10s. more. This 11.10s., with 4s. 2d. in hand, was di-
Z
254 [A.D. 1838.
vided for present necessities. Thus the expenses of
yesterday, for housekeeping, were defrayed. The Lord
helped me also to pay yesterday the 191. 10s. for the rent.
The means for it were thus obtained. One of the labour-
ers had received through his family 107., and 5l. besides
from a sister in the Lord; also some other money. Of
this he gave 161, which, with the 31. 10s. that was left of
the above-mentioned 5l., which came in the day before
yesterday, made up 191. 10s, the sum which was needed.
—This day we were again greatly reduced. There was no
money in hand to take in bread as usual, for the Boys’
and Infant Orphan-Houses. But again the Lord helped.
A sister who had arrived this afternoon from Swansea
brought 11.7s., and one of the labourers sold an article,
by means of which he was able to give 11, 13s. Thus we
had 31. :—ll. for each house, and could buy bread before
the day was over. Hitherto we have lacked nothing !
Oct. 4. Thursday. The money of Tuesday helped us
through yesterday. To-day, when again all was gone,
and help was greatly needed, our loving Lord appeared.
The books which had been given some time since, by some
of my fellow-labourers, were sold for 11s., also an old
bedstead for 2s. 6d., and an old sofa for 10s. The
boxes were also opened, as I had been told some money
had been put in, and 9s. 1d. was found in them. This
money was a fresh encouragement to us in our need.
Dy this ll. 12s. 7d. we were helped through the day.
Oct. 5. This morning, just before I was going to the
Orphan-Houses to meet with the brethren and sisters for
prayer, 11. 3s. was brought from Teignmouth. This
money seems to have been given some months since to a
brother at Teignmouth, but it did not reach me until to-
day. It is a most seasonable help, to defray the expenses
of this day, and a fresh proof, that not in anger, but only
for the trial of our faith, our gracious Lord delays as yet,
to send larger sums.
Oct. 6. Saturday. The Lord has again most kindly
helped us. It came to my mind that there were some
new blankets in the Orphan-Houses, which had been
given some time since, but which are not needed, and
might therefore be sold. I was confirmed in this by
finding that the moth had got into one pair. I therefore
sold ten pairs, having a good opportunity to do so. Thus
A.D. 1838.] 255
the Lord not only supplied again our present need for
the three houses, but I was also able to put by the rent
for this week and the next, acting out the light which he
had given us this day week. There came in 9s. 6d., be-
sides 77. for the blankets. The School fund, also, was
again completely exhausted, when to-day and yesterday
came in so much, that not only the weekly salaries could
be paid to-day, but also above ll. could be put by for
rent.
Oct. 9. Through the last-mentioned supplies for the
Orphans we were helped up to this day; but to-day we
were brought lower than ever. The provisions would
have lasted out only to-day, and the money for milk in
one of the houses could only be made up by one of the
labourers selling one of his books. The matron in the
Boys'-Orphan-House had this morning two shillings left.
When in doubt whether to buy bread with it, or more
meat, to make up the dinner with the meat which she had
in the house, the baker called, and left three quarterns of
bread as a present. In this great need, some money
having been given to one of the labourers, he gave 2!. of
it, by which we were able to buy meat, bread, and other
provisions. Nevertheless even this day, low as we had
been brought, before this 27, was given, there had been
all in the houses that was needed.
Oct. 10. The Lord had sent in so much since yester-
day afternoon, that we were able at our meeting this
morning to divide 2!. 0s. 2d. between the three matrons,
whereby we are helped through this day. But now the
coals in the Infant-Orphan-House are out, and nearly
so in the other two houses. Also the treacle casks in all
the three houses are nearly empty. On this account we
have asked the Lord for fresh supplies.
Oct. 11. The “Father of the fatherless” has again
shown his care over us. An Orphan from Devonshire
arrived last evening. With her was sent 21. 5s. 6d. The
sister who brought her gave also a silver tea-pot, sugar-
basin, and cream jug (of the weight of 48 oz.) having
found true riches in Christ. There was also in the boxes
9s. One of the labourers paid for a ton of coals. We
obtained 16l. 16s. for the silver articles.—Thus we were
helped through the heavy expenses of the following days.
Oct. 12. To-day seven brethren and sisters were added
z 2
256 [A.D. 1838.
to us in fellowship, and eight were proposed. May the
Dord send helpers for the work
Oct. 13. For three months past the Orphan fund has
been low, yet hitherto we have lacked nothing!
Oct. 15. I knew that there would be money needed
this morning, for many things in the Orphan-Houses, and
my heart was therefore lifted up to the Lord. Just when
I was going to meet my fellow-labourers for prayer, I
received from Trowbridge 4!. There had come in also at
the Orphan-Houses 7s. 8d. To this one of the labourers
added 11. Thus I was enabled abundantly to supply all
that was wanted, and to pay for a cask of treacle and a
ton of coals. We are now, however, cast again on the
love of our Lord for further supplies, as there is neither
any thing in hand, nor have the labourers any more of
their own to give. .
Oct. 16. The day commenced with mercies. I was
looking up to the Lord for help, early this morning, when,
almost immediately afterwards, brother T. came, and
brought two silver table-spoons, and six tea-spoons, which
had been left, anonymously, yesterday afternoon, at the
Girls'-Orphan-House. This afternoon I received 127.
from Staffordshire. On the seal of the letter, which en-
closed the money, was “Ebenezer.” How true in our
case I Surely this instance is a fresh “Ebenezer” to us;
for hitherto the Lord has helped us.-There was also
found a half sovereign in the box at my house. Also a
lady left 5s. at the door of the Girls'-Orphan-House, with
about 200 pears for the children; and a brother sent 2s.,
the first fruits of the increase of his wages. Thus I was
able to give a larger supply than usual to the matrons.
Oct. 22. To-day our funds were again quite low. In
the Infant-Orphan-House only 24. was left, and very little
in the other two houses. But the Lord most manifestly
again answered prayer. A gentleman from London, who
is greatly interested about destitute and neglected chil-
dren, came over from Bath with two of his sisters to see
the Orphan-Houses. He gave 17. There was 2s. 6d. put
into the box at my house, and 6d. anonymously into the
box at Gideon Chapel. With this 11. 3s. I went directly
to the Orphan-Houses to relieve the present need. Whilst
I was there, the Lord gave still further supplies; for
being informed that in the morning some ladies had seen
A.D. 1838.] 257
the houses, and put money into the boxes, I opened them
and found 37. 0s, ld. Thus the Lord, by means of this
4l. 3s. 1d., helped us through the necessities of this day.
Oct. 23. The Lord again sent above 21, which supplied
this day’s necessities.
Oct. 24. To-day the Lord sent from a most unex-
pected quarter 51. The money was given by a relative of
two children in the Boys'-Orphan-House. Thus we are
helped for two days, and are able to put by the rent for
this week.
Oct. 27. Saturday. This day we have been again
mercifully helped, though our need has been almost
greater than ever. But, thanks to our adorable Lord!
this day also we have not been confounded; for there
was 6s. in the box at the Infant-Orphan-House, and 6s.
came in for things which had been given to be sold. To
this one of the labourers added 18s. By means of this
1!. I0s. we have been able to meet all pressing demands,
and to procure provisions for to-day and to-morrow.
Oct. 29. Monday. The Lord has again given us this
day our daily bread, though, in the morning, there was
not the least natural prospect of obtaining supplies. One
of the labourers, who had received some money for his
own personal expenses, gave 2!. Some things also, which
had been given for sale, had been sold for 18s. ; and
6d. had been put into the box at Gideon Chapel. This
21, 18s. 6d. enabled us to meet the expenses of this day.
There were also many articles of worn clothes sent.
Oct. 30. This has been again a day of peculiar mercies
in reference to the funds. Whilst I was in prayer re-
specting them, a brother brought 24 yards of cloth. He
had bought it for himself, but, afterwards considering
that he had sufficient clothes, he gave it to be sold for the
Orphans. This evening a sister gave me 20l., ten of which
were for the Orphans, and ten for the other objects.
Thus we are helped for this week.
Nov. 4. Lord’s day. There was given, by a stranger,
last Wednesday evening, at Bethesda Chapel, to one of
the sisters, a sovereign for the Orphans, which I received
to-day. Thus the Lord has again begun the week with
mercy, and his love surely will help us through it, though
again many pounds will be needed.
Nov. 5. Monday. By means of the sovereign which
z 3
258 [A. D. 1838.
had come in yesterday, and several small donations to-day
and on the past days, together with 2l. 10s. which one of
the labourers added of his own, 6l. 2s. 6d. was divided
this day between the three matrons, which will supply
their need for two days at least.
Nov. 7. The funds are now again completely exhausted.
To-day I divided 11. 3s. 8d., which had come in yesterday;
thus the necessary wants were supplied. The Lord be
praised who has helped us hitherto ! One of the Orphans
was sent to-day to service, and the Lord enabled us to give
her a suitable outfit.
Nov. 8. Last evening Il. 4s. came in, which, being
divided between the three houses, helped us through this
day.
Nov. 10. Saturday. All seemed to be dark, so far as
regards natural appearances, at the commencement of
this day. But through this day also the Lord has helped
us, and enabled us to meet all demands. In the course of
the day came in 11. 8s. 6d. To this two of the labourers
added 10s. each, and thus we were brought to the close of
one more week, having been able to supply the necessities
of 97 persons in the Orphan-houses, without owing any
thing.
Nov. 12. Monday. Sixpence came in this morning, to
which one of the labourers added 19s. 6d., to meet the
most pressing necessities. This evening I found the 11.
was not enough to take in bread for the Boys'-Orphan-
THouse. The Lord gave us, however, before the day was
over, enough to buy the usual quantity of bread; for
there was found in the boxes 5s. 9d. and a pair of small
gold earrings.
Nov. 13. This morning our want was again great. I
have 20l. in hand which has been put by for rent, but, for
the Lord's honour, I would not take of it. Nothing had
come in, and the labourers had scarcely any thing to give.
I went, however, to the Orphan-Houses, to pray with my
fellow-labourers, and, if it might be, to comfort them, and
see what could be done. When I came there, I found
that 19s. 6d. had come in this morning. On inquiry I
heard that only 2s. 6d. more was needed to carry us
through the day. This one of the labourers was able to
add of his own. Thus the Lord has again helped us out
of our difficulty. One of the labourers gave some things
A.D. 1838.] 259
which he could do without, and another gave a workbox
to be sold for the Orphans.—Before this day has come to
an end, the Lord has sent in 11, 2s. 4d. more, so that we .
have also a little for to-morrow.
Nov. 15. The money which had come in the day before
yesterday supplied the necessities of yesterday also ; but
to-day we were brought again very low. I went to the
Orphan-Houses, to pray with my fellow-labourers, not
without hope that the Lord might have appeared, and
sent a little help. When I arrived I found that one of the
labourers had sold a few of his books, together with two
which had been given by another labourer on the 13th,
for which he had received 7s. To this one of the labourers
added 7s. 9d. This 14s. 9d. supplied the most pressing
necessities. When I came home I found ls. in the box
at my house, and soon after received 5s. for a pair of fire
screens, which had been given for sale. There were also
three baskets of potatoes sent to the three different houses.
A sack of potatoes had been ordered, but the brother, who
had been desired to bring them, could not conveniently
do so to-day, and thought, as this present had been ordered
from him, there would be no immediate need of them ; and
Oh! how kind of the Lord to order it thus: for had he
brought them, the payment would have taken away the
money which was intended for the usual quantity of
bread. But before the day was over the Lord helped still
further. In the afternoon a gentleman from Bath called
at the Boys'-Orphan-House, and gave a check, for 3!,
There was also 1s. given; 2s. 6d. came in for needle-work,
and 5s. 6d. for things sold. Thus altogether 4!. 4s. 9d.
has been sent by the Lord this day.
Nov. 17. Saturday. To-day above 3!, was needed, and
as only 15s. 6d. had come in, we found it needful to de-
termine to dispose of a few articles of furniture which we
conveniently could do without. One of the labourers
gave a good watch to be sold, which she had bought some
months since, there being then no time-piece in one of
the houses. In consideration of these articles to be sold,
I took, for the present necessities of the Orphans, 21. 10s.
of the money which had been put by for rent, to be re-
placed when these articles could be sold at a suitable
opportunity. Thus we were helped to the close of one
more week.
260 [A.D. 1838.
Nov. 19. To-day we were again in great need. There
had come in only 7s.6d. for needle-work. The Lord had,
however, given to one of the labourers a little money, of
which he gave 15s., by means of which we were helped
through this day also.
Nov. 20. To-day our need was exceedingly great, but
the Lord's help was great also. I went to meet with the
brethren and sisters as usual. I found that 11. would be
needed to supply the necessities of to-day, but 3s. only
had come in. Just when we were going to pray, one of
the labourers came in, who, after prayer, gave 10s. Whilst
we were praying, another labourer came in, who had re-
ceived 17. Thus we had 11. 13s., even more, therefore,
than was absolutely needed.
Nov. 21 Never were we so reduced in funds as to-
day. There was not a single halfpenny in hand between
the matrons of the three houses. Nevertheless there was
a good dinner, and by managing so as to help one another
with bread, etc., there was a prospect of getting over this
day also; but for none of the houses had we the prospect
of being able to take in bread. When I left the brethren
and sisters at one o’clock, after prayer, I told them that
we must wait for help, and see how the Lord would
deliver us at this time. I was sure of help, but we were
indeed straitened. When I came to Kingsdown, I felt
that I needed more exercise, being very cold, wherefore I
went not the nearest way home, but round by Clarence-
place. About 20 yards from my house, I met a brother
who walked back with me, and after a little conversation
gave me 10l. to be handed over to the brethren, the
deacons, towards providing the poor saints with coals,
blankets and warm clothing; also 5l. for the Orphans,
and 5l. for the other objects of the Scriptural Know-
ledge Institution. The brother had called twice while I
was gone to the Orphan-Houses, and had I now been one
half minute later, I should have missed him. But the
Lord knew our need, and therefore allowed me to meet
him. I sent off the 51. immediately to the matrons.
Nov. 23. The above mentioned 5l., with an addition of
11s. 6d. which had also come in, helped us through the
expenses of yesterday and to-day.
Nov. 24. This again has been a very remarkable day.
We had as little in hand this morning as at any time, and
A.D. 1838.] 261
yet several pounds were needed. But God, who is rich in
mercy, and whose word so positively declares, that none
who trust in him shall be confounded, has helped us through
this day also. While I was in prayer, about ten in the
morning, respecting the funds, I was informed that a gen-
tleman had called to see me. He came to inform me that
a lady had ordered three sacks of potatoes to be sent to
the Orphan-Houses. Never could they have come more
seasonably. This was an encouragement to me, to con-
tinue to expect help. When I came to the prayer meet-
ing about 12 o'clock, I heard that 2s. had come in, also
1. for a guitar, which had been given for sale. The pay-
ment for this guitar had been expected for many weeks.
It had been mentioned among us, repeatedly, that it might
come just at a time, when we most needed it : and oh!
how true. Also the watch which had been given was sold
for 21. 10s. But with all this we could not have put by
the rents for this week, amounting to 30s. One of the
labourers therefore gave his watch to the Orphan-fund
under this condition, that should the Lord not enable us
before Dec. 21st to make up this deficiency, it should be
sold, but not otherwise, as he needs it in the Lord’s ser-
vice.—[A few days after the Lord gave the means to put
by the 30s., and 30s. besides for the next week’s rent.]
Thus the Lord helped us through this day, and with it
brought us to the close of one more week.
Nov. 25. Lord’s-day. The Lord kindly remembers
us, before there is absolute need. A sister who is going
to leave Bristol, called on me to bid me farewell, and gave
me, in parting, 11. 10s. for the Orphans. It is remark-
able, that almost every donation given within the last four
months and thirteen days, since our funds have been low,
has come from unexpected quarters, to make the hand of
God so much the more manifest.
Nov. 26. Though there had come in yesterday 11, 10s.,
yet that was scarcely the half of what was needed this
day. But the Lord knew our circumstances, and, as he
is wont to do, most unworthy as we are of it, remembered
our need. There was given 11, this morning, and 1s. had
been put anonymously into the box at Gideon Chapel;
and a lamp, which had been given some time since, had
been sold for 10s. Also 1s. 2d. came in for needle-work.
262 [A.D. 1838.
By means of these several little sums we could meet all
the demands of this day.
Nov. 27. Yesterday afternoon came in 10s., and this
morning, by the disposal of some articles, which had been
given for sale, 12s. This furnished us with means to pro-
cure, for this day also, the necessary supplies.
Nov. 28. This is, perhaps, of all days the most remark-
able as yet, so far as it regards the funds. When I was
in prayer this morning respecting them, I was enabled
firmly to believe that the Lord would send help, though
all seemed dark as to natural appearances. At 12 o'clock
I met as usual with the brethren and sisters for prayer.
There had come in only 1s., which was left last evening
anonymously, at the Infant-Orphan-House, and which,
except 2d., had already been spent, on account of the
great need. I heard also that an individual had gratui-
tously cleaned the time-piece in the Infant-Orphan-House,
and had offered to keep the time-pieces in the three houses
in repair. Thus the Lord gave even in this a little en-
couragement, and a proof that he is still mindful of us.
On inquiry I found that there was every thing needful
for the dinner in all the three houses; but neither in the
Infant nor Boys'-Orphan-Houses was there bread enough
for tea, nor money to buy milk. Lower we had never
been, and, perhaps, never so low. We gave ourselves
now unitedly to prayer, laying the case in simplicity be-
fore the Lord. Whilst in prayer there was a knock at
the door, and one of the sisters went out. After the two
brethren, who labour in the Orphan-Houses, and I had
prayed aloud, we continued for awhile silently in prayer.
As to myself, I was lifting up my heart to the Lord to
make a way for our escape, and in order to know, if there
were any other thing which I could do with a good con-
science, besides waiting on him, so that we might have
food for the children. At last we rose from our knees.
I said, “God will surely send help.” The words had not
quite passed over my lips, when I perceived a letter lying
on the table, which had been brought whilst we were in
prayer. It was from my wife, containing another letter
from a brother with 10l., for the Orphans. The evening
before last I was asked by a brother whether the balance
in hand for the Orphans would be as great this time,
A.D. 1838.] 263
when the accounts would be made up, as the last time.
My answer was, that it would be as great as the Lord
pleased. The next morning this brother was moved to
remember the Orphans, and to send to-day 10l., which
arrived after I had left my house, and which on account
of our need was forwarded immediately to me. Thus I
was enabled to give 6l. 10s. for housekeeping, and to put
by 37. 10s. for rent.
The brother who sent the 10l. for the Orphans, sent
likewise 10l. to be divided between brother Craik and me,
with the object of purchasing new clothes for ourselves.
Nov. 29. The Lord has greatly blessed our meetings
for prayer. They have been instrumental in leading us to
much prayer for the children in the Orphan-Houses, in
the Day-Schools, and in the Sunday-School. They have
led us to prayer for ourselves, for the Day-School Teachers,
and for the Sunday-School Teachers, that grace may be
given to us so to walk before the children, and so to deal
with them, as that the Lord may be glorified by us. We
have also often been led to intercede for the believers
with whom we are in fellowship, and for the Church at
large. We have especially prayed, that our work may
iead the church generally to a more simple confidence and
trust in the Lord. That these meetings have not been
in vain, as regards the procuring of funds, has been already
sufficiently seen by the many instances which have been
recorded in the foregoing pages. To-day, however, we
have had another particular proof of this. When we met
I found that 10s. had come in yesterday afternoon. When
I returned home I found 11, had come in, and shortly
after I received another 11. In the evening I received
50l. which was sent from Suffolk by a sister who had
often expressed how gladly she would contribute more
largely to the work which is in our hands, had she the
means, and who just now, in this our time of need, has
obtained the means to carry out the desire of her heart.
I rejoice in the last donation particularly, not because of
the largeness of the sum, but because it enables me to
pay to my brethren and sisters in the Orphan-Houses
the salary which is due to them. For though they are
willing to labour without any remuneration, nevertheless
“the labourer is worthy of his reward.” This donation
also proves, that the Lord is willing even now, as for-
264 [A.D. 1838.
merly, to send large sums. But I expect still larger.
The same sister who sent the 50l. for the Orphans, sent,
at the same time, 30l. to be divided between brother
Craik and me for our personal expenses. How abun-
dantly does the Lord care for us! Truly, we serve a
kind master
Dec. 5. To-day there were again a few shillings needed
in the Boys'-Orphan-House. . That which remained of
the 50l. had been divided for housekeeping in the three
houses, and was now all spent in the Boys'-Orphan-
House, and nearly also in the other two houses. The few
shillings which were needed in the Boys'-Orphan-House,
the Lord, however, had previously provided by the little
which had come in on December 3 and 4.
Dec. 6. This day our need was again as great as ever,
but the deliverance of the Lord was also as manifest as
ever. No money had come in, and I knew there would
be some needed this morning in all the three houses.
That which was required to buy provisions for to-day,
was about 11. ; but there were also coals needed in two
houses, and two of the treacle-casks were empty. We
gave ourselves, as usual, to prayer. After prayer one of
the labourers gave 11. of the salary which she had received
a few days ago; another gave 6s., and 4s. 6d. was taken
out of the boxes. Thus we had 17. 10s. 6d. to divide, and
therefore more than was absolutely needed; also one of
the labourers had ordered half a ton of coals to be sent
to the Boys'-Orphan-House, for which he paid himself.
This afternoon I received 100l. from a sister, 50l. for
the Orphans, and 50l. for the School—Bible—and Mis-
sionary-Fund. This same sister, who earns her bread
with her own hands, had given, on October 5, 1837, 50l.
towards the Boys’-Orphan-House, and gave for the neces-
sities of the poor saints, in August 1838, 100l. more ;
for she had been made willing to act out those precious
exhortations: “Having food and raiment let us be there-
with content.” “Sell that ye have, and give alms; pro-
vide yourselves bags which wax not old, a treasure in the
heavens that faileth not, where no thief approacheth, nei-
ther moth corrupteth.” “Lay not up for yourselves
treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt,
and where thieves break through and steal: but lay up
for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth
A.D. 1838.] 265
nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break
through nor steal.” Tespecting the 50l. which has been
given of this sum for the School—Bible—and Missionary-
Fund, it is worthy of remark, that we would not order
Reference Bibles till we had the means. We had re-
peatedly prayed respecting this want of Bibles, and par-
ticularly again this morning. It had been also much laid
on our hearts to-day, to request that the Lord would en-
able us to have the Report printed, which we could not do,
unless he first sent the means. Lastly, we had also re-
peatedly asked him to supply us so largely, if it were his
will, as that at the time of the public meetings we might
be able to speak again of abundance. For though for
some months past the time has been fixed for the public
meetings, without any reference to the state of the funds,
nevertheless, it might have had the appearance, that we
had convened the brethren for the sake of telling them
about our poverty, and thus to induce them to give.
Dec. 8, 1838. The Lord closes the third year of this
part of the work with blessings. Yesterday was sent 24
yards of flannel, and to-day were taken out of the box in
the Boys'-Orphan-House a 5l. note, and 3d. Also 2s.
was given and 11. besides.
Tec. 11, 12, and 13. On the evenings of these three
days there were public meetings, at which I gave an ac-
count of the Lord's dealing with us in reference to the
Orphan-Houses and the other objects of the Scriptural
Rnowledge Institution. As the work, and particularly
that of the Orphan-Houses, was begun for the benefit of
the church at large, it appeared well to us, that from time
to time it should be publicly stated how the Lord had
dealt with us in reference to it ; and as on Dec. 9th the
third year had been completed, since the commencement
of the Orphan work, this seemed to be a suitable time
for having these meetings.
Should any one suppose, in reading the plain details of
the trials through which we passed during the four months
previous to Dec. 9, 1838, respecting the Orphan-Houses,
that I have been disappointed as it regards my expecta-
tions, so far as the funds are concerned : my answer is,
that the reverse is the case. For straits were expected.
Long before the trials came, I had more than once stated
publicly, that answers to prayer, in the time of need,—
A. A.
266 [A.D. 1838.
the manifestation of the hand of God stretched out for
our help, was just the very end for which the Institution
was established.
I further state, that the Orphans have never lacked
any thing. Had I had thousands of pounds in hand,
they would have fared no better than they have ; for they
have always had good nourishing food, the necessary
articles of clothing, etc.
It is now (namely on Dec. 10, 1838) four years and
nine months since brother Craik and I established the
Scriptural Knowledge Institution. The reasons which
we had for doing so were, that thus a testimony might be
borne that the children of God need not go to unbelievers
to ask them for money; nor require the patronage of the
great men of this world in the Lord's work; and that,
further, believers generally might be stirred up, to re-
nounce their alliance with the world in the management
and promotion of religious objects, and that, lastly, it
might be seen that, without contracting debts, such ob-
jects can be carried on.
Painful as it was, and as it stillis, to us, to be obliged to
differ from so many of our brethren, in these particulars,
nevertheless we were called upon to work without them,
if we could not conscientiously work with them. May the
Lord grant, that the eyes of many of his children may be
opened, so that they may seek, in all spiritual things, to
be separated from unbelievers, (2 Cor. vi. 14–18), and
to do God's work according to God’s mind /
I notice briefly the following particulars respecting the
first three objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution.
1. There is at present (in December 1838) a Sunday
School supported by it, which contains four hundred and
sixty-three children. This part of the work calls for par-
ticular thanksgiving; for during these last eighteen months
the number of the children has been nearly three times
as great as it used to be. Five of the scholars have been
converted within the last two years, and are now in fel-
lowship with the church, and three of them are teachers
in the school. 2. There is in connexion with the Insti-
tution an Adult-School, in which, since the commence-
ment of the work, above 120 adults have been instructed,
and in which at present twelve are taught to read. 3. The
Institution has entirely supported, since its commence-
A.D. 1838.] 267
ment, several Day-schools for poor children, and within
the last two years six of such : three for boys, and three
for girls.-The number of all the children that have had
schooling in the Day-Schools through the medium of the
Institution, since its formation, amounts to 1534; the
number of those at present in the six Day-Schools is 342.
4. During the last two years there have been circulated
1884 copies of the Scriptures in connexion with the Insti-
tution, and since the beginning of the work, March 5,
1834, five thousand and seventy-eight copies. 5. For
Missionary purposes have been laid out £74. 18s. 4d.
6. The total of the income for the first three objects,
during the last two years, was £1129. 13s. 1d. The
total of the expense £1111. 13s. 7%d.
There are, at present, 86 Orphans in the three houses,
i. e. 31 in the Girls'-Orphan-House, 31 in the Infant-
Orphan-House, and 24 in the Boys'-Orphan-House.
The whole number of Orphans, who have been under
our care, from April 11, 1836, to Dec. 9, 1838, amounts
to 110.
God’s blessing has most manifestly rested upon this
part of the work. For, 1. Without any one having been
asked for any thing by us, the sum of £2111. 5s. 4d. has
been given to us, entirely as the result of prayer to God.
2. Besides this, also, many articles of clothing, furniture,
provisions, etc. 3. Without our solicitation three medical
gentlemen, (one for each house), have, up to Dec. 9, 1838,
kindly given their attendance and medicines gratuitously.
4. The children have been, on the whole, in good health,
and many of them have greatly improved as to their health,
since they have been with us. 5. Though most of them
had been brought up in a very different manner from what
one could desire, yet God has constrained them, on the
whole, to behave exceedingly well, so much so that it has
attracted the attention of all observers. This can be
ascribed only to the good hand of God. 6. There are a
few among them, respecting whom we have a comfortable
assurance that they care about their souls. 7. There is
mot one of those who have died, of whom we are without
hope, as it regards their eternal welfare; but respecting
two of them we have especial reason to rejoice. The
elder of the two, Harriet Culliford, about twelve years of
age when she died, had been for many months wasting
A. A 2
268 [A.D. 1838.
away in consumption. She was, almost during the whole
time of her illness, completely careless about the things
of God; nothing seemed to make any impression upon
her, though a well-behaved child in other respects. About
a fortnight before her departure she was brought to know
the Lord, gave the fullest evidence, that could be given
in her circumstances, of a real change of heart, and de-
parted full of joy at the prospect of being with the Lord,
though previously she had been very desirous to be re-
stored again. The younger, Leah Culliford, (both of
them of a very consumptive family), fell asleep in Jesus
on Sept. 11, 1838. She was but little more than eight
years of age; but many weeks before her death she gave
evidence to those who were placed over her of a change
of heart, and of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.
The total of the income for the Orphans, from Dec. 9,
1836, to Dec. 9, 1838, has amounted to £1341. 4s. 7d. ;
the total of the expenses to £ 1664. 4s. 0#d. There was
two years ago a balance of £373. 4s. 83d. in hand, and
now the balance is £50. 5s. 3d.
Dec. 16. There was a paper anonymously put into the
box at Bethesda Chapel, containing 4!. 10s. In the
paper was written “For the Rent of the Orphan-Houses,
from Dec. 10 to Dec. 31, 1838. ‘ O taste and see that
the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in
him /* In order that the reader may be able to enter
into the value of this donation, I would request him to
read over once more, what I wrote under “Sept. 29th of
this year.” [The individual who gave this 4l. 10s. for the
rent of the Orphan-Houses for the first three weeks after
the public meetings, at which the matter about the rent,
for the instruction of the brethren, was fully stated,
continued for three years, up to Dec. 10, 1841, to give
regularly, but anonymously, ll. 10s. a week for the same
purpose, which was exactly the sum required every week
for the rent of those three houses. Thus the Lord re-
warded our faithfulness, in carrying out the light which
he had given us. But the chief blessing, resulting from
this circumstance, I consider to be this, that several bre-
thren, who earn their bread by the labour of their hands,
have learned through this circumstance, that it is the will
of the Lord they should lay by their rent weekly. I
beseech those brethren who are not pursuing this course,
to do so, and they will soon prove by experience the
A.D. 1838.] 269
benefit of acting on Scriptural principles even as it
regards this life.]
Dec. 17. To-day eleven brethren and sisters were pro-
posed for fellowship. The Lord still uses us as instru-
ments. Truly, our labour in the Lord is not in vain
Dec. 20. As the expenses for the Orphans have been
above 471. within the last six days, and as but little above
13!. has come in, and as the money for printing the
Report had to be kept back, in order that we might not
be in debt, we were again to-day very low in funds,
though it is but six days since the public meetings. As
I knew that to-morrow several pounds would be needed
to supply the matrons, I gave myself this morning to
prayer. About a quarter of an hour afterwards I received
3l., the payment of a legacy, left by a sister, who fell
asleep in Jesus several months since, in Ireland. Be-
sides this I received from the brother, through whom the
legacy was paid, 21. 10s. for the Orphan-Fund. With
this 5l. 10s. I hope to be able to meet the expenses of
to-morrow.
I observe here that it might have been naturally
supposed that every heart would be touched, through
what was publicly stated about the remarkable manner in
which the Lord had provided for us for nearly 150 days,
and that consequently an abundance of means would have
come in. To this is to be added, that 50l. 5s. 3d. was in
hand on Dec. 10, and that therefore it seemed not likely
that we should soon be in need; and yet, by Dec. 20, we
were again so poor, that there was nothing to meet the
expenses of the next day, as has just been related. All
this came not unawares upon me and my fellow-labourers;
for we had been taught to look off from all creature ex-
pectations to the living God. It was on this account that,
many times in our prayer meetings during November and
the beginning of December, we were led to ask the Lord,
not to allow us to expect an influx of means because, for
the benefit of the Church, our circumstances would be
made known at the public meetings. And how kind
was it of the Lord to give us prayer about this, and thus
to prepare us beforehand; for had we leaned upon natural
expectations, we should have been surely disappointed, as
only six days after the meetings we were as poor as
ever. By the grace of God we are so acquainted with
A. A 3
270 [A.D. 1838.
the heart of our Father, that we speak not about these
things to excite the compassion of our fellow-saints, for
we have learned to lean upon God only; but we make
known his dealings with us, that others may be led
“to taste and see that the Lord is good,” and to put
their trust in him.
The sister who left the 31. for the Orphans, as just
alluded to, also left 31. for the funds of the other objects,
20l. to be divided between brother Craik and me, and 37.
for the poor saints.
Dec. 22. A solemn day. I received to-day the infor-
mation from my father that my brother died on October
7th. When I saw him in April this year he was living in
open sin, and in disunion with my father. I cannot learn
that his end was different from his life, so that I have no
comfort in his death.-Of all the trials that can befall a
believer, the death of an unconverted near relative seems
to me one of the greatest. “Shall not the judge of all the
earth do right º' must be the stay of the believer at such
a time, and, by grace, it is my stay now. I know that
the Lord is glorified in my brother, whatever his end has
been : whether in his last hours, like the thief on the
cross, he was saved, or whether he died in sin and unbe-
lief; yet I do, as to myself, desire from my heart to
adore that grace which plucked me as a brand out
of the burning, many years ago.—May the Lord make
this event a lasting blessing to me, especially in leading
me to earnestness in prayer for my father!
Dec. 26. From the 21st to this day several small do-
nations had come in for the Orphans, so that we were
supplied as we needed. To-day there was ten-pence left,
after the day's expenses had been met. One hour after
the Lord kindly appeared again. 5l. was sent by Q. Q.
This money came, just after I had prayed for means.
Dec. 27. To-day came in 21. 12s. 6d., whereby the
Lord has again helped us to meet the probable expenses
of to-morrow.
Dec. 28. This evening the Lord kindly sent further
help, when we were again destitute of the means of
providing for to-morrow. I received 20!, (half for the
Orphan-Fund, and half for the other funds), with Eccle-
siastes ix. 10: “Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it
with thy might; for there is no work, nor device nor
A.D. 1838.] 271
knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou
goest.”
Dec. 29. A sister, having felt herself particularly stirred
wp about the Orphans, as she writes, sent this evening 7l.;
five pounds from herself and 21. which had been sent from
the EAST INDIE's. To the Lord this is to be ascribed,
who, in answer to our prayers, makes these impressions
on the hearts of his children.
BEVIEW OF THE YEAR 1838.
I. As to the church.
68 brethren and sisters we found in fellowship, when
brother Craik and I came to Bristol.
458 have been admitted into fellowship since, so that the
total amount would be
526 had there been no changes. But,
31 have fallen asleep.
28 are under church discipline, which is the total
number of all the cases of separation from
communion within these six years and seven
months.
36 have left Bristol.
26 have left us, but are still in Bristol. Only 26
within six years and seven months.
Total 121. There are therefore only 405 at present in
fellowship with us. 61 have been added during the last
year, of whom 36 have been brought among us to the
knowledge of the truth.
II. As to my temporal supplies.
The Lord has been pleased to give me during the past
€ar :
y
1. By the Freewill Offerings through the
2
boxes . e & e e º . £151 6 8
. By Presents in money from believers in
and out of Bristol o e e . 141 18 O
3. By money, through family connexion . 40 0 0
4. By Presents in clothes, provisions, etc..
which where worth to me, at least . 12 0 0
5. We have been living for six months half
free of rent, whereby we have saved at least 5 0 0
£350 4, 8
272 [A.D. 1839.
During no period of my life had I such need of means,
on account of my own long illness and that of my dear
wife, and on account of the many and particular calls for
means, as during the past year; but also during no period
of my life has the Lord so richly supplied me. Truly, it
must be manifest to all that I have served a most kind
master, during this year also, and that, even for this life,
it is by far the best thing to seek to act according to the
mind of the Lord, as to temporal things |
January 1st, 2nd, and 3rd, 1839. We have had three
especial church prayer meetings these three days. The
year commenced with mercies. In the first hour of the
year there came in for the Orphans 21.7s., which was
given after our usual prayer meeting on December 31,
which this time lasted from seven in the evening till after
midnight.
Jan. 5. To-day I received another new hat, the eleventh
which in succession has been given to me, since I have
been in England.
Jan. 11. Since December 29, came in several dona-
tions for the Orphans, so that we were supplied, before
that which we had in hand was quite gone. On the
seventh, however, all our money was again expended,
when a brother, from the neighbourhood of London, who
is staying here, gave me 10l. To-day, when this 10!, was
iven out, T received from London 3!. 7s., and 4s. besides.
Thus the Lord, as our need is, sends help, and all in an-
swer to prayer, without our asking any one.
Jan 17. Since the 11th 22 small donations have again
come in, by which we have been helped thus far. This
afternoon all which was in hand was given for housekeep-
ing, and I was again pennyless. The Lord, however, was
mindful of this, and in the evening two sovereigns were
left anonymously at my house. In the paper was written:
“The enclosed are for the use of the Orphan-Houses,
from J. H., who thinks he ought to do something for the
Institution.” J. H. will have in this a proof that the
Lord touched his heart to give the money, because there
was not a penny in hand for those who are the especial
care of him who is the “Father of the fatherless.”
Jan. 20. Ten small donations have come in since the
17th, which have enabled us to provide what was needed
for the last three days, and also for to-day.—For some
A.D. 1839.] 273
time past it has appeared to me that the words “Ye have
the poor with you always, and whensoever ye will ye may
do them good,” which the Lord spoke to his disciples,
who were themselves very poor, imply that the children of
God, as such, have power with God to bring temporal
blessings upon poor saints or poor unbelievers, through
the instrumentality of prayer. Accordingly I have been
led to ask the Lord for means to assist poor saints; and
at different times he has stirred up his children to intrust
me with sums both large and small, for that especial ob-
ject; or has, by some means or other, put money at my
disposal, which I might so use. In like manner I had
been asking again for means a few days since, to be able
more extensively to assist the poor saints in communion
with us, as just now many of them are not merely tried
by the usual temporal difficulties arising from its being
winter, but especially from the high price of bread. And
now this evening the Lord has given me the answer to my
prayer. When I came home from the meeting, I found a
brother at my house who offered to give me 10l. a week,
for twelve weeks, towards providing the poor saints with
coals and needful articles of clothing, but chiefly with
bread. [Accordingly this brother sent me two days after-
wards 120l., whereby very many, especially poor widows,
were greatly assisted, chiefly with flour and bread. This
money just lasted till the price of bread was reduced
from 9; d. to 7#d. Thus, for several weeks, about 150
quarterns of bread were distributed weekly, besides what
was given in flour, coals, and clothes. I have mentioned
this circumstance as an encouragement to those who either
have little or nothing at all to give to poor persons,
and who yet have a desire to give; and to those who have
means, but whose means are not adequate to relieve all
the demands made upon them. Had we more grace to
plead the words of our Lord, above referred to, we
should receive far more from him to meet the necessities
around us.]
Jan. 22. A brother, formerly an officer in the navy,
who for Jesus' sake has given up his rank and pay, gave
three silver table spoons, three silver forks, and two tea-
spoons, to be sold for the benefit of the Orphans. The
produce of them, with 17. 5s, which has come in besides,
enables us to meet the expenses of to-day and to-morrow.
274 [A.D. 1839.
Jan 26. Saturday. The need of the 24th, 25th, and
of to-day was supplied, partly, by the little that had been
left on the 23rd; and partly, by five small donations, by
9s. for the children’s needlework, and by 12s. which had
come in by the sale of two old silk dresses, which had
been given for sale. Now, when we were again penny-
less, 6s. was given me, just after I had been praying for
Iſleå.D.S.
Jan. 28. Monday morning. We are now quite reduced
as to means for the Orphans. The little which is in hand
has been put by for rent. How the Lord will help us
through this day I know not; but I have faith in God.
IIe will help us, though I know not how. By God’s help
I purpose not to take a single penny of what is in hand,
pecause it is due for rent.--This morning and afternoon
came in from one individual 4s. 6d., and from a sister, who
earns her bread by needlework, 17. There was also
11. 0s. 10d. taken out of the boxes in the Orphan-Houses,
which our need had led us to open. Thus we were helped
through the day, and have 1.l. left for to-morrow.
Jan. 29. The 17, which was left helped us through this
day; but in the Boys'-Orphan-House were no means to
take in bread. In the evening eight small loaves were
sent by a sister who could not possibly know our need,
and thus we were supplied.
Jan. 30. A little while after I had been in prayer this
morning for means for the Orphans, brother T. brought a
silver watch and 5s., which had been given last evening.
Also, still further, came in this morning, five yards of
Indian muslin, a Zephyr scarf, a muslin dress, and a gold
locket, to be sold. About two hours afterwards was
sent 1.
The individual who last evening gave the silver watch
and 5s. for the Orphans, called on me to-day. She is a
servant, who in the house of her master found the first
part of this Narrative soon after the publication of the
first edition, which the Lord used as the means of her
conversion. [She has now been sixteen years in fellow-
ship with us.]
Jan. 31. There came in this morning 2s. 6d. for the
Orphans. This, with 1.l. in hand, and 10s. which one of
the labourers contributed, was sufficient for this day's
necessities.
A.D. 1839.] 275
Feb. 1. There is no money in hand for the Orphans.
I am waiting on God. Just when brother T. had come
to tell me that the need for this day would be 19s. 6d.,
one of the labourers in the work came and gave me 11.
Feb. 2. There are again no means in hand. One of the
labourers gave 1.l., but I know not whether 11. will be
sufficient for the necessities of this day. This I do know,
however, that the Lord will supply us with more, should
more be needed. When I met with the brethren and
sisters for prayer, one of the labourers gave his watch
under the condition that il., which was needed besides
that which we had in hand, should be taken from the rent
money which had been put by, till it could be replaced;
and, if otherwise, that the watch should be sold at the end
of the quarter. Just as we had separated, a sovereign
was brought to me, which had been sent to my house
since I had left it. This was taken instead of the one
which had been advanced upon the watch, and thus a
speedy answer was granted to our prayers. We have now
been brought to the close of one more week.
Feb. 3. Lord’s day. A sister sent from her sick bed
this evening 21. for the Orphans, with Ecclesiastes iz. 10.
Thus the Lord has supplied our need for to-morrow.
Feb. 4. This afternoon came in two pounds more from
the grandmother of two of the Orphans, in answer to
prayer, and very seasonably, as the coals in one house are
quite out, and nearly so in the other two.
Feb. 5. To-day came in 12s., which supplied the
necessities of this day.
Feb. 6. Only 19s. 6d. was needed for to-day, which
one of the labourers gave.
Feb. 7. This day has been one of the most remarkable
days as it regards the Funds. There was no money in
hand. I was waiting upon God. I had asked him re-
peatedly, but no supplies came. Brother T. called between
11 and 12 o'clock, to tell me that about 11. 2s. would be
needed, to take in bread for the three houses, and to meet
the other expenses; but we had only 2s. 9d., which yes-
terday had been taken out of the boxes in the Orphan-
IHouses. He went to Clifton to make arrangements for
the reception of the three Orphans of our sister Loader,
who fell asleep on the 4th; for though we have no funds
276 [A.D. 1839.
in hand, the work goes on, and our confidence is not
diminished. I therefore requested him to call on his way
back from Clifton, to see whether the Lord might have
sent any money in the mean time. When he came I had
received nothing, but one of the labourers having 5s. of
his own, gave it. It was now four o'clock. I knew not
how the sisters had got through the day. Just before I
went out to preach, 5s. was brought to my house, which
I took as a token for good. I had been asking the Lord
for a passage of the word to speak from this evening, and
at last was directed to Matt. vi. 19–34, a subject most
applicable to our circumstances. After the meeting was
over I went to the Girls'-Orphan-House, to meet with the
brethren for prayer, and to give the 5s. which I had re-
ceived, and to see what could be done. When I arrived
there, I found that a box had come for me from Barnstaple.
The carriage was paid, else there would have been no
money to pay for it. (See how the Lord’s hand is in the
smallest matters () The box was opened, and it contained,
in a letter from a sister, 10l., of which 81. was for the
Orphans, and 21. for the Bible Fund; from brethren at
Barnstaple, 21. 11s. 2d.; and from another brother 5s.
Besides this, there were in the box 4 yards of merino, 3
pairs of new shoes, 2 pairs of new socks; also six books
for sale. Likewise a gold pencil-case, 2 gold rings, 2 gold
drops of ear-rings, a necklace, and a silver pencil case.
On inquiry, how the sisters had been carried through the
day, I found it thus: Everything was in the houses which
was needed for dinner. After dinner a lady from Thorn-
bury came and bought one of my Narratives and one of
the Reports, and gave 3s. besides. About five minutes
afterwards the baker came to the Boys'-Orphan-House.
The matron of the Girls'-Orphan-House seeing him, went
immediately with the 6s. 6d. which she had just received,
(to prevent his being sent away, as there was no money
in hand at the Boys'-Orphan-House,) and bought bread
to the amount of 4s. 6d. The two remaining shillings,
with the little which was in hand, served to buy bread for
the Girls'-Orphan-House. By the donations sent in the
box, I was enabled to give a rich supply to the matrons
before the close of the day.
How sweet to see our Father thus caring for us! To
A.D. 1839.] 277
a person who has spiritual eyes, what a proof is one such
day of the most particular providence of God! And we
have had many such days.
Peb. 8. To-day the Lord sent still further help, which
is remarkable for two reasons in particular. First, we
had decided yesterday upon receiving the three little
Loaders, though we were so low as to funds. Thus the
Lord sent means on their behalf. Secondly, we were
brought so low yesterday, and our faith was so much
tried, in order that now again the abundance of supplies,
out of our loving Father's hand, might be so much the
sweeter. A sister in the neighbourhood of London sent
to-day in money ll. 5s., and the following articles for sale :
3 purses, 1 mourning brooch, 1 amber ditto, 1 amethyst
stud, 1 cameo ditto, 1 pair of coral ear-rings, 1 coral cross,
1 ring set with a diamond and six rubies, 1 ditto pearl and
garnet, 1 ditto garnet, 1 ruby cross, 4 necklaces, and 148
pamphlets and tracts. Also several articles of clothing
for the children.
Feb. 13. Since the 8th, five donations, amounting to
9l. 9s., had come in. This afternoon I paid out the last
money which we had in hand, and in giving it to brother
T. said, we have now again to look to the Lord for further
supplies. This evening 5l. was given to me, which had
come in under the following circumstances: A gentleman
and lady visited the Orphan-Houses, and met at the Boys'-
Orphan-House two ladies who were likewise visiting.
One of the ladies said to the matron of the Boys'-Orphan-
House: “Of course, you cannot carry on these Institu-
tions without a good stock of funds.” The gentleman,
turning to the matron, said, “Have you a good stock P”
She replied: “Our funds are deposited in a bank which
cannot break.” The tears came into the eyes of the in-
quiring lady. The gentleman, on leaving, gave to the
master of the boys 5l., which came in when I had not a
penny in hand.
Feb. 16. Yesterday came in 17s. 6d. for the Orphans,
which, with what was taken out of the boxes to-day,
helped us through, and thus we have been brought to the
close of one more week.
March 5. Up to this day, since Feb. 16, the supplies
for the Orphans have come in so seasonably, that we were
able comfortably to meet all the demands. To-day, how-
IB B
278 [A.D. 1839.
ever, I knew that there would be again several pounds
required, as, besides the daily provisions, there were coals
needed, the treacle casks in two houses were empty, and
there was but 5s. in hand. I gave myself therefore to
prayer this morning. WHILST I WAS IN PRAYER Q. Q.
sent a check for 7 l. 10s. Thus the Lord has again most
seasonably helped us out of our difficulty. There came
in still further this day, 11, 19s. 2d., by the sale of some
articles, which had been given for the benefit of the
Orphans.
March 6. For some time past the minds of several
brethren among us, as well as that of brother Craik and
my own, had been much exercised respecting certain
questions connected with points of church order and dis-
cipline, on account of which brother Craik and I were
absent from Bristol during the last two weeks, to give
ourselves to prayer and consideration respecting those
points. Since our return we have had, these last three
evenings, meetings with the saints, before whom we stated
the result to which we had been led, after prayer and ex-
amination of the Scriptures. The following is an abstract
of what was stated at those meetings, which I give here,
as this matter forms an important period in my experience
about church matters; but the abstract will be of little
use, except the reader consider carefully the passages to
which reference is made.
I.—QUESTIONS RESPECTING THE ELDERSHIP.
(1) How does it appear to be the mind of God, that, in
every Church, there should be recognised Elders 2
Ans. From the following passages compared together,
Matth. xxiv. 45, Luke xii. 42.
From these passages we learn that some are set by the
Tord himself in the office of Rulers and Teachers, and
that this office (in spite of the fallen state of the Church)
should be in being even down to the close of the present
dispensation. Accordingly, we find from Acts xiv. 23,
xx. 17, Tit. i. 5, and 1 Pet. v. 1, that soon after the saints
had been converted and had associated together in a
Church character, Elders were appointed to take the rule
over them and to fulfil the office of under-shepherds.
This must not be understood as implying, that, when
A.D. 1839.] 279
believers are associated in Church fellowship, they ought
to elect Elders according to their own will, whether the
Lord may have qualified persons or not; but rather that
such should wait upon God, that he himself would be
pleased to raise up such as may be qualified for teaching
and ruling in his church.
(2) How do such come into office 2
Ans. By the appointment of the Holy Ghost, Acts
xx. 28.
(3) How may this appointment be made known to the
Žndividuals called to the office, and to those amongst whom
they may be called to labour &
Ans. By the secret call of the Spirit, 1 Tim. iii. 1,
confirmed by the possession of the requisite qualifications,
1 Tim. iii. 2–7, Tit. i. 6–9, and by the Lord’s blessing
resting upon their labours, 1 Cor. ix. 2.
In 1 Cor. ix. 2, Paul condescends to the weakness of
some, who were in danger of being led away by those
factious persons who questioned his authority. As an
Apostle—appointed by the express word of the Lord
he needed not such outward confirmation. But if he
used his success as an argument in confirmation of his
call, how much more may ordinary servants of the Lord
Jesus employ such an argument, seeing that the way, in
which they are called for the work, is such as to require
Some outward confirmation.
(4) Is it incumbent upon the saints to acknowledge such
and to submit to them in the Lord £
Ans. Yes. See 1 Cor. xvi. 15, 16, 1 Thess. v. 12, 13,
IHeb. xiii. 7, 17, and 1 Tim. v. 17.
In these passages obedience to pastoral authority is
clearly enjoined.
II.-Ought matters of discipline to be finally settled by
the Elders in private, or in the presence of the Church,
and as the act of the whole body ?
Ans. (1) Such matters are to be finally settled in the
presence of the Church. This appears from Matth. xviii.
17, 1 Cor. v. 4, 5, 2 Cor. ii. 6–8, 1 Tim. v. 20.
(2) Such matters are to be finally settled as the act of
the whole body, Matth. xviii. 17, 18. In this passage the
act of exclusion is spoken of as the act of the whole body.
1 Cor. v. 4, 5, 7, 12, 13. In this passage Paul gives the
direction, respecting the exercise of discipline, in such a
B B 2
280 [A.D. 1839.
way as to render the whole body responsible: verse 7,
“Purge out the old leaven, that ye may be a new lump;”
and verse 13, “Therefore put away from among your-
selves that wicked person.” From 2 Cor. ii. 6–8, we
learn that the act of exclusion was not the act of the
Elders only, but of the Church. “Sufficient to such a
man is this punishment (rather, public censure) which was
inflicted of many.” From verse 8 we learn that the act of
restoration was to be a public act of the brethren:
“Wherefore I beseech you that ye would confirm (rather,
ratify by a public act) your love towards him.”
As to the reception of brethren into fellowship, this is
an act of simple obedience to the Lord, both on the
part of the Elders and the whole Church. We are bound
and privileged to receive all those who make a credible
profession of faith in Christ, according to that Scripture,
“Receive ye one another, as Christ also received us, to the
glory of God.” Rom xv. 7.
III.--When should Church acts (such as acts of recep-
tion, restoration, eacclusion, &c.) be attended to ?
Ans. It cannot be expressly proved from Scripture
whether such acts were attended to at the meeting for the
breaking of bread, or at any other meeting; therefore this
is a point on which, if different churches differ, mutual
forbearance ought to be exercised. The way in which
such matters have hitherto been managed amongst us has
been by the Church coming together on a week-evening.
Before we came to Bristol we had been accustomed to this
mode, and, finding nothing in Scripture against it, we
continued the practice. But, after prayer, and more
careful consideration of this point, it has appeared well to
us that such acts should be attended to on the Lord's
days, when the saints meet together for the breaking of
bread. We have been induced to make this alteration by
the following reasons:
(1) This latter mode prevents matters from being delayed.
There not being a sufficiency of matter for a meeting on
purpose every week, it has sometimes happened that, what
would better have been stated to the Church at once, has
been kept back from the body for some weeks. Now, it
is important that what concerns the whole Church, should
be made known as soon as possible to those who are in
fellowship, that they may act accordingly. Delay, more-
A.D. 1839.] 281
over, seems inconsistent with the pilgrim-character of the
people of God. -
(2) More believers can be present on the Lord’s days
than can attend on week evenings. The importance of this
reason will appear from considering how every thing which
concerns the Church should be known to as many as
ſpossible. For how can the saints pray for those who may
have to be excluded,—how can they sympathize in cases
of peculiar trial,—and how can they rejoice and give
thanks on account of those who may be received or restored,
unless they are made acquainted with the facts connected
with such cases P -
(3) A testimony is thus given that all who break bread
are Church members. By attending to Church acts in the
meeting for breaking of bread, we show that we make no
difference between receiving into fellowship at the Lord's
Supper, and into Church membership ; but that the indi-
vidual who is admitted to the Lord's table is therewith
also received to all the privileges, trials, and responsibili-
ties of Church membership.
(4) There is a peculiar propriety in acts of reception,
restoration, and exclusion being attended to when the
saints meet together for the breaking of bread, as, in that
ordinance especially, we show forth our fellowship with
each other.
Objections answered.
(1) This alteration has the appearance of change-
ableness.
Reply. Such an objection would apply to any case in
which increased light led to any improvement, and is,
therefore, not to be regarded. It would be an evil thing
if there were any change respecting the foundation truths
of the Gospel; but the point in question is only a matter
of Church order.
(2) More time may thus be required than it would be
well to give to such a purpose on the Lord’s day.
Reply. As, according to this plan, Church business
will be attended to every Lord's day, it is more than pro-
bable that the meetings will be thereby prolonged for a
few minutes only, but should circumstances require it, a
special meeting may still be appointed during the week,
for all who break bread with us. This, however, would
only be needful, provided the matters to be brought
B B 3
282 [A.D. 1839.
before the brethren were to require more time than could
be given to them at the breaking of bread.
N.B. (1) Should any persons be present who do not
break bread with us, they may be requested to withdraw,
whenever such points require to be stated, as it would not
be well to speak of in the presence of unbelievers,
(2) As there are two places in which the saints meet
for the breaking of bread, the matters connected with
Church acts must be brought out at each place.
IV.-QUESTIONS RELATIVE To THE LORD’s SUPPER.
(1) How frequently ought the breaking of bread to be
attended to ?
Ans. Although we have no express command respect-
ing the frequency of its observance, yet the example of the
apostles and of the first disciples would lead us to observe
this ordinance every Lord's day. Acts xx. 7.
(2) What ought to be the character of the meeting at
which the saints are assembled for the breaking of bread &
Ans. As in this ordinance we show forth our common
participation in all the benefits of our Lord’s death, and
our union to him and to each other, (1 Cor. x. 16, 17.)
opportunity ought to be given for the exercise of the gifts
of teaching or exhortation, and communion in prayer and
praise. Rom. xii. 4–8, Eph. iv. 11–16. The manifesta-
tion of our common participation in each other's gifts
cannot be fully given at such meetings, if the whole
meeting is, necessarily, conducted by one individual. This
mode of meeting does not however take off from those,
who have the gifts of teaching or exhortation, the respon-
sibility of edifying the church as opportunity may be
offered.
(3) Is it desirable that the bread should be broken at
the Lord's Supper by one of the Elders, or should each
ândividual of the body break it for himself?
Ans. Neither way can be so decidedly proved from
Scripture, that we are warranted in objecting to the other
as positively unscriptural, yet—
(1) The letter of Scripture seems rather in favour of
its being done by each brother and sister, 1 Cor. x. 16, 17.
“The bread which we break.”
A.D. 1839.] 283
(2) Its being done by each of the disciples is more
fitted to express that we all, by our sins, have broken the
body of our Lord.
(8) By attending to the ordinance in this way, we
manifest our freedom from the common error that the
Lord's supper must be administered by some particular
individual, possessed of what is called a ministerial
character, instead of being an act of social worship and
obedience.
[Before brother Craik and I left Bristol for the consi-
deration of the above points, things wore a gloomy appear-
ance. A separation in the church seemed to be unavoidable.
But God had mercy, and pitied us. He was pleased to
give us not merely increased light, but showed us also
how to act, and gave us a measure of wisdom, grace, and
spiritual courage for acting. The clouds were dispelled,
and peace was restored in the church.]
While I was away from Bristol, Samuel Loader, a little
orphan boy, died, after a fortnight's residence in the house,
and only three weeks after his mother's death. The
brethren in the Boys'-Orphan-House consider him to have
died in the faith.
March 16. Saturday. By the good hand of the Lord
we are brought to the close of one more week. I have
been able to meet all the current expenses for the Orphans,
and to pay, besides this, 10l. for salaries. Thus a part of
what has been due for several weeks to my dear fellow-
labourers is defrayed. I have especially prayed within
these last ten days that the Lord would be pleased to give
me the means for this. 2s. 8%d. I have left.
March 18. Monday. Last evening £5. came in with
Eccles. ix. 10. Thus we were again enabled to supply all
the necessities of this day.
Pause a few moments, dear reader | Consider how sea-
sonably the Lord sends the supplies! Not once does he
forget us! Not once is our need only half supplied
Not once do his supplies come too late Dear reader, if
you have not the like experience of the Lord’s watchful
care, Oh taste and see that the Lord is good!
March 20. The need of the 18th and 19th was supplied
by the 5l. which had come in on the 18th. To-day we
were again poor and needy, therefore the Lord thought on
us, and sent us 31, 16s. 1; d.
284 [A.D. 1839.
March 22. Some trinkets which had been given, and
12s. which was in hand, supplied the need of to-day.
Yesterday were sent six sacks of potatoes. We were not
able to lay in a stock last autumn, (as we had done the
two previous autumns) on account of want of means, but
in no previous year have we had so many sent.
March 23. To-day I received a letter from brother T.,
who is on account of his health in Devonshire, to inform
me that a heavy gold chain, a ring set with ten brilliants,
a pair of gold bracelets, and 21. have been given to him.
|He gave a Report to a brother, who, having read it, was
thereby stirred up to prayer,and knowing that his believing
sister possessed these trinkets, he asked the Lord to incline
her heart to give them up for the benefit of our Orphans,
which she soon after did. By means of these donations
I am able both to meet the remaining expenses of this
week, and also to pay 15l., which still remains due on
account of the salaries. My fellow-labourers not only
never ask me for any thing, but are willing to part with
money, or any thing else in the hour of need; neverthe-
less, I had asked the Lord about this point frequently,
and he has now given me my request, whereof I am glad.
I received also this afternoon 5l. 10s., besides a number
of things to be disposed of for the Orphans.
March 24. The Lord has again kindly opened his
liberal hand to-day, and given us 6l. 10s. Thus we have
wherewith to meet the necessities of to-morrow in the
Orphan-Houses.
From March 24 to April 7, came in about sixty small
donations. This, with the produce of the sale of the
trinkets, supplied all our need for the Orphans.
April 7. Our funds were now again spent, except 15s.,
though three days ago above 30l. had come in ; therefore
the Lord has sent in again this day several contributions,
altogether 6l. 5s.
April 8. The money which came in yesterday was sent
off to-day for housekeeping in the three different houses,
and when I was now again left pennyless, there came in
27. 6s. 10d.
April 9. The 21, 6s. 10d. was given out to-day for
housekeeping, and I am once more pennyless.-A few
hours after I had written this, there was given to me
by a brother 21. 10s. When I received this money, I was
A.D. 1839.] 285
at the same time informed of the death of one of our
sisters, a widow, whose child we can receive.
April 10. To-day was sent anonymously from the
country 5l. In the evening I received still further
ll. 16s. 6d.
April 11. It is three years to-day since the first Or-
phans were received. Good indeed has the Lord been to
us during these three years' We have lacked nothing!
Again he has sent this day in a remarkable manner 5l.,
with the following letter, addressed to a brother:
“My dear Friend, enclosed are 5l. for the Orphan-
Asylum, the history of which is rather interesting. We
have a servant who lived some years ago as kitchen-maid
in a noble family, (i. e. the master a wealthy member of
Parliament, the mistress an Earl’s daughter.) No per-
quisites were allowed, but the individual in question acted
on the same principle as her fellow-servants, and sold
kitchen-stuff for her own benefit, which she thinks might
amount to 4!. ; and therefore she believes that 5l. would
fully repay principal and interest. This money is of
course due to her former master arºd mistress, with whom
I have had several interviews on the subject. They were
disposed that the money should be given to some charity;
and in consequence of reading one of the Reports you
kindly sent me, the young woman had a great desire that
her own repentance might yield fruit to that work of faith
and love. Her wishes have been sanctioned by her former
mistress. It is rather remarkable that our truly Christian
servant had been converted a year and a half, before this
individual sin, calling for pecuniary restitution, had come
into her remembrance.”
April 13. I conversed with another of the Orphans,
who seems to have been truly converted, and who has
walked consistently for many months. To-morrow she
will be united with the saints in communion. She will
be the third in fellowship with us, and several have died
in the faith. How has the Lord owned the work, even
in this respect
April 14. To-day 5l. 0s. 8d. came in for the Orphans,
11. of which is one of the most remarkable gifts that we
have ever had. A poor brother, with a large family, and
small wages, (there are eight in the family, and he had
15s, wages till lately, when they were raised to 18s.) put
286 [A. D. 1839.
by this money by little and little of what was given him
by his master for beer. This brother, who was converted
about five years ago, was before that time a notorious
drunkard.
April 30. To-day our dear young brother, John Short,
only a little more than 14 years old, fell asleep, after
having been for several yearsill. He had been for several
years converted. He was one of our Sunday-School
children before his illness. When, many months since,
he lost one of his limbs by amputation, he glorified the
Lord not merely by the way in which he sustained the
severe suffering attending the operation, but also by con-
fessing the Lord, as his strength, in the hour of trial. He
was a sweet youth !
July 2. To-day was given to me, when there was not
one shilling in hand, 50l. for the School—Bible—and
Missionary-Fund.
July 15. Monday. To-day 2l. 7s. 8d. was needed for
the Orphans, but we had nothing. How to obtain the
means for a dinner, and for what else was needed, I knew
not. My heart was perfectly at peace, and unusually sure
of help, though I knew not in the least whenee it was to
come. Before brother T. came, I received a letter from
India, written in May, with an order for 50l. for the
Orphans. I had said last Saturday to brother T. that it
would be desirable to have 50l., as the salaries of all my
fellow-labourers are due, the three treacle casks empty,
all the provision stores exhausted, several articles of
clothing needed, and worsted for the boys to go on with
their knitting. Now the Lord has sent exactly 50l.
Moreover, this money comes very seasonably, as in three
days I shall have to leave Bristol for some days, and can
now go comfortably as it regards leaving means behind.
[In the afternoon of this same day I met at a brother's
house with several believers, when a sister said that she
had often thought about the care and burden I must have
on my mind, as it regards obtaining the necessary supplies
for so many persons. As this may not be a solitary in-
stance, I would state, that, by the grace of God, this is
no cause of anxiety to me. The children I have years
ago cast upon the Lord. The whole work is his, and it
becomes me to be without carefulness. In whatever points
I am lacking, in this point I am able, by the grace of God,
A.D. 1839.] 287
to roll the burden upon my heavenly Father. Though
now [July 1845] for about seven years our funds have
been so exhausted, that it has been comparatively a rare
case that there have been means in hand to meet the
necessities of the Orphans for three days together; yet
have I been only once tried in spirit, and that was on
Sept. 18, 1838, when for the first time the Lord seemed
not to regard our prayer. But when he did send help at
that time, and I saw that it was only for the trial
of our faith, and not because he had forsaken the work,
that we were brought so low, my soul was so strengthened
and encouraged, that I have not only not been allowed to
distrust the Lord since that time, but I have not even
been cast down when in the deepest poverty. Neverthe-
less, in this respect also am I now, as much as ever,
dependant on the Lord; and I earnestly beseech for my-
Self and my fellow-labourers the prayers of all those, to
whom the glory of God is dear. How great would be the
dishonour to the name of God, if we, who have so publicly
made our boast in him, should so fall as to act in these
very points as the world does | Help us them, brethren,
with your prayers, that we may trust in God to the end.
We can expect nothing but that our faith will yet be
tried, and it may be more than ever; and we shall fall, if
the Lord does not uphold us.]
July 16 and 17. These two days we have had two espe-
cial prayer meetings, to commend to the Lord five German
brethren who for some weeks have been sojouring among
us, and who purpose to leave to-morrow for Liverpool, to
sail from thence to the East Indies.
July 18. Ileft this morning with the German brethren,
to accompany them to Liverpool.
July 21. Liverpool. This afternoon I preached in the
open air on the docks. Truly, it must be a sweet privilege
to be permitted frequently to proclaim the glad tidings of
the Gospel in the open air, which the Lord does not
bestow upon me, as, under ordinary circumstances, I have
no strength for this work.-The people were attentive.
There was but one who mocked.
July 22. Preached again out of doors.
July 23. I accompanied the five brethren on board
this afternoon.
July 27. To-day I had another remarkable proof of
288 [A.D. 1839.
the importance of the children of God opening their hearts
to each other, especially when they are getting into a cold
state, or are under the power of a certain sin, or are in
especial difficulty. An individual called on me, who I
trust is a brother, with whom I had conversed once before,
but felt uncomfortable respecting him. When he called
again to-day, it appeared to me that there was something
upon his heart, which, if I could but know, I might be
instrumental in benefiting him. I pressed him affection-
ately to open his heart, assuring him at the same time
that the matter which he might speak of should remain in
my own bosom. At last I succeeded. . [The result of this
conversation was, that the advice which I gave him, led
him, after three days, to leave for America, where he
ought to have been, instead of being in England; and if
he has followed my advice, in one other point, the matter
which for years had burdened his conscience, and which,
no doubt had been the means of keeping him in a low
spiritual state, will have no more power over him. Should
this fall into the hands of any children of God who have
a particular trial or burden, or a guilty conscience, on
account of a particular thing, or a besetting sin, etc., on
account of which it would be beneficial to open their
hearts to another child of God, in whose love, spiritual
judgment, etc., they have confidence, I would advise them
to do so. 'I know from my own experience, how often
the snare of the devil has been broken, when under the
power of sin; how often the heart has been comforted,
when nigh to be overwhelmed; how often advice, under
great perplexity, has been obtained,— by opening my
heart to a brother in whom I had confidence. We are
children of the same family, and ought therefore to be
helpers one of another.]
Aug. 3. £3.5s, was required to meet the necessities
of the Orpham-Houses this day. The Lord enabled us to
meet this demand, partly, by the sale of some Indian
muslin, which had been given some months since, but
which was only now disposed of; partly, by a few small
donations; and, partly, by what one of the labourers
added of his own. [We have often found that the money
for articles, which were put out to be sold, has come in
most seasonably. At this time it happened so that a
brother, into whose hands the muslin had been put, felt
A.D. 1839.] 289
himself stirred up to go and ask the individual who had it
for sale whether she had disposed of it. This brother.
knew nothing about our need at that time. I cannot help
mentioning here, how considerably we have been helped
at times, by children of God having looked over their
boxes, drawers, &c., and sent for the benefit of the Orphans
those things which they could comfortably do without.]
Aug. 5. Monday. On Saturday and yesterday morn-
ing I had repeatedly asked the Lord to send us help, as
there was not a penny in hand for the need of to-day.
Yesterday morning a brother gave me two sovereigns,
and in the evening I received two more. Besides this,
there was 4!. 10s. anonymously given for three weeks'
rent for the Orphan-Houses, also 10s. by a brother, and
9s. came in for needlework of the children; so that alto-
gether 91.9s. came in yesterday.
This evening I took tea with a sister who purposes to
leave Bristol to-morrow for Van Diemen’s Land. [For
the comfort of any saints, who may be similarly situated,
I mention the following circumstance. The son of this
sister was transported many years since. In the course
of time he obtained a business of his own at Van Diemen’s.
Land, and wished his mother to come to him. The
mother went, and had, in answer to the prayers of the
Saints, a prosperous voyage. When she arrived, she
found her son truly converted. What a joy for the long
and deeply-afflicted mother | What remarkable means
the Lord uses to bestow blessings' Moreover, to mark
that the Lord had sent her to her son, she found that a
month before her arrival his wife had died, and that she
therefore reached him just at the right time, both on ac-
count of his children and his business.]
Aug. 7. To-day again about 37, was needed for house-
keeping at the Orphan-Houses, which the Lord had sent
in since the day before yesterday, so that we were able
to meet all the demands. -
Aug. 8. To-day 11. 3s. was needed, but only 3s. had
come in. The deficiency was supplied by one of the la-
bourers giving a sovereign of his own. Though there is
no money in hand, yet are we so little discouraged, that
we have received to-day one orphan boy, and have given
notice for the admission of six other children, which will
bring the number up to 98 altogether.
C C
-*
290 [A.D. 1839.
Aug. 9. Only 10s. had come in since yesterday, and
as 30s. were needed, one of the labourers gave a sovereign.
Aug. 10. Saturday. The need of to-day is 21. 10s.,
but only 10s. has been given since yesterday. One of the
labourers, having 21., gave it, and thus our need was sup-
lied.
p Aug 12. Monday. The Lord has again kindly sent
117. Of this sum 10l. came in from Q. Q., when again
there was not one penny in hand. We have now supplies
for about four days.
Aug. 14. To-day was very seasonably sent a whole
piece of calico and a piece of print.
Aug. 16. All our money is now again gone. To-day
1l. 3s. was needed, but only 3s. was in hand. One of
the labourers was able to add a sovereign, and thus we
were helped.
Aug. 17. Saturday. 31, was needed to-day, but only
7s.6d. had come in. The remaining 21. 12s. 6d. one of
the labourers gave. Thus we were helped to the close of
another week.
Aug. 19. Monday. This has been again a day in
which our faith has been particularly tried; but even this
day we have not been confounded. Not one penny was
in hand when the day began. We had therefore now,
for more than one hundred persons, again to look to the
Lord, But this I must say, to the praise of the Lord,
my soul was perfectly at peace. I meant to have gone
very early to the Orphan-Houses to meet with my fellow-
labourers for prayer; but, as one person after the other
called upon me, I was kept from it the whole morning.
When brother T. called upon me between 12 and 1
o'clock for money, I had none to give. In the afternoon
at four I was able to meet with the brethren and sisters.
When I came to the Girls'-Orphan-House, I found that
one of those children, for the reception of whom we had
given notice, had been brought from Bath, and with him
was sent 11. 5s. After the meeting was over, one of the
labourers gave 10s. By means of this 17. 15s. we were
able for this day also to provide ever thing needful.
Aug. 20. When we met together this morning for
prayer, only one shilling had come in since yesterday,
and 21. at least was needed to meet the expenses of this
day. After prayer, one of the labourers gave 10s., and
A.D. 1839.] 291
1s. 1; d. was taken out of one of the boxes. This
12s. 1; d. was divided to meet the momentary need.
About an hour afterwards, 11.14s. came in, being the
payment, in part, of articles which had been sold several
months since.
Aug. 21. Nothing had come in since yesterday. 13s.
would have been needed to have taken in the usual quan-
tity of bread. After we had prayed, the same labourer
who had contributed yesterday and the day before, gave
to-day 5s. more. This helped us to buy milk; but in one
of the houses the usual quantity of bread could not be
taken in. I have further to notice respecting this time of
trial, that I had purposed to have gone yesterday to Bath,
to meet to-day and to-morrow with several brethren who
are met there from various parts of the country, to unite
in prayer for the present spiritual necessities of the
church at large. However, on account of our present
need in the Orphan-Houses, I could not go yesterday, as
I did not think it right to let my fellow-labourers bear
the trial alone. To-day also I have been kept here, as
our poverty is greater than ever. Yet (the Lord be
praised ) neither have the children in the least lacked
this day, nor has my mind been in any degree disturbed.
My fellow-labourers also seem quite in peace. We are
waiting for deliverance, and we are sure that the Lord, in
his own time, will send it.
Aug. 22. In my morning walk, when I was remind-
ing the Lord of our need, I felt assured that he would
send help this day. My assurance sprang from our need;
for there seemed no way to get through the day, without
help being sent. After breakfast I considered whether
there was any thing which might be turned into money
for the dear children. Among other things there came
under my hands a number of religious pamphlets which
had been given for the benefit of the Orphans; but all
seemed not nearly enough to meet the necessities of the
day. In this our deep poverty, after I had gathered to-
gether the few things for sale, a sister, who earns her
bread by the labour of her hands, brought 821. This sister
had seen it to be binding upon believers in our Lord
Jesus to act out his commandments: “Sell that ye have
(sell your possessions) and give alms,” Luke xii. 33; and
“Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth,” Matt.
C C 2
292 [A.D. 1839.
vi. 19. Accordingly she had drawn her money out of the
bank and stocks, being 250l. and had brought it to
me at three different times for the benefit of the Orphans,
the Bible—Missionary—and School-Fund, and the poor
Saints. About two months ago she brought me 100l.
more, being the produce of some other possession which
she had sold, the half of which was to be used for the
School—Bible—and Missionary Fund; and the other
half for the poor saints. This 827, which she has brought
to-day, is the produce of the sale of her last earthly pos-
session.—[At the time I am preparing this fifth edition
for the press, more than sixteen years have passed away,
and this sister has never expressed the least regret as to
the step she took, but goes on, quietly labouring with her
hands, to earn her bread.]—But even now, when this
money was given, I left it in the hands of the Lord,
whether any part of it should be applied for the Orphans.
T asked the sister, therefore, whether she wished the
money to be spent in any particular way, as she had ex-
pressed her wish about the former sums. This time she
left it with me, to lay out the money as I thought best.
I took, therefore, half of it for the Orphans, and half for
the other objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institu-
tion. I have thus been enabled to come to Bath, (after
I had sent a more than usual supply to the sisters, the
matrons), to meet at least for the remaining time with
the brethren who are assembled here for prayer. Before
the day is over, I have received 10l. more, while at Bath,
from one of the brethren who are assembled here; so
that our deep poverty, in the morning, has been turned
into a comparative abundance.
Aug. 23. The Lord has sent still further supplies.
Another of the brethren gave me this morning 11., and a
third, with whom I rode back to Bristol, 57.
From Aug. 25 to Sept. 1 there came in above 177. more.
Sept. 4. I have been led to pray whether it is the
‘Ilord’s will that I should leave Bristol for a season, as I
have for the last fortnight been suffering from indigestion,
by which my whole system is weakened, and thus the
nerves of my head are more than usually affected. There
are, however, two hinderances in the way, want of means
for the Orphans, and want of means for my own personal
expenses.—To-day I have received a check from Q. Q.

A.D. 1839.] 203
for 71. 10s. for the Orphans, which came, therefore, very
seasonably. Also 4!. besides have come in since the day
before yesterday.
Sept. 5. To-day a sister sent me 5l. for myself, to be
used for the benefit of my health. She had heard that
my health is again failing. I do not lay by money for
such purposes; but whenever I really need means,
whether for myself or others, the Lord sends them, in
answer to prayer; for he had in this case again given me
prayer respecting means for myself and for the Orphans,
that my way might be made plain as to leaving Bristol
for a season.
Sept. 6. My body is now so weak, and my head again
so affected in consequence of it, that I have found it
needful to give up the work at once. I left to-day for
Trowbridge, for three days, intending afterwards to go
with my wife into Devonshire, if the Lord permit.
Sept. 7. Trowbridge. This has been a very good day.
I have had much communion with the Lord. How kind
to take me from the work in Bristol for a season, to give
me more communion with himself. I remembered the
Lord's especial goodness to me in this place, at the com-
mencement of last year. How kind has he also been
since I prayed much for myself, for the Church at
large, for the saints here and in Bristol, for my uncon-
verted relatives, for my dear wife, and that the Lord
would supply my own temporal necessities and those of
the Orphans:—and I know that he has heard me.—I am
surrounded with kind friends in the dear saints, under
whose roof I am, and feel quite at home. My room is
far better than I need; yet an easy chair, in this my weak
state of body, to kneel before in prayer, would have added
to my comfort. In the afternoon, without having given
a hint about it, I found an easy chair, put into my room.
I was struck with the kindness, the especial kindness of
my heavenly Father, in being mindful of the smallest
wants and comforts of his child. —Having had more
prayer than usual, I found that my intercourse with the
Saints at tea was with unction, and more than usually
profitable. But this very fact reminds me of my sad de-
ficiences, and of my great lack of real fervency of spirit.
May the Lord carry on his work with power in my soul!
To-day I had 11. given to me, half for the Orphans, and
C C 3 --
294 [A.D. 1839.
half for the other funds. Thus the Lord has begun to
answer my prayers; for Teaſpect far more.
Sept. 8. Lord's day. I assembled with a few saints at
Trowbridge, and spoke to them in the morning and even-
ing with much assistance. The afternoon I spent at home
over the word and in prayer. God has evidently blessed
the word. He had a purpose in sending me here, both
for blessing to myself and to others.
Sept. 9. This morning I conversed with a poor aged
sister in the Lord, who for 47 years has been a believer,
but who from want of settling by the written word only,
whether she is a believer or not, has often had doubts
about her state before God. However I brought the
Scriptures only before her. [My pressing the Scriptures
alone upon her heart, was made such a blessing, that I
hear she has not doubted in the same way since.] This
aged sister told me that she often prays for the Orphans,
and for the continuance of means. How many helpers
has the Christian in the conflict; yet all are strengthened
by ONE who is ALWAYs for us!
This evening I returned to Bristol, to go from hence
to-morrow to Exeter, if the Lord permit, on account of
my health. I had been earnestly asking the Lord while
I was staying at Trowbridge, that he would be pleased to
send in supplies for the Orphans, before I go into Devon-
shire, and I had the fullest assurance that means would
come in before I left Bristol. I therefore asked my wife,
on my return, how much had come in, and found that it
was only 8!. 9s. 7#d. This was not nearly as much as I
had expected, and would not answer the end for which I
had particularly asked means, i. e. that I might be able
to leave enough for several days. My reply therefore
was, according to the faith given to me, and judging from
the earnestness and confidence of my prayer, that the Lord
would send more before I left. About an hour after,
brother Craik brought me 10l. which he had received this
evening with Ecclesiastes ix. 10, and also a letter from a
brother at Ilfracombe, in which the arrival of a large box,
full of articles, to be sold for the benefit of the Orphans,
is announced. Thus the Lord has dealt with me accord-
ing to my faith.
Sept. 10. This morning before I left Bristol came in
still further 11, 16s. 7d., so that I had about 201. to leave
A.D. 1839.] 295
behind for the present need. ... I found also, on opening
the box which has arrived, 65 books, a brace of valuable
pistols, and a great many articles of East India linen.
How kind of the Lord to send these supplies just now !
After my departure from Bristol I continued to help
my fellow-labourers by my prayers. I had the fullest
assurance that the Lord would help them, and my hope
was not ashamed, as will appear from the following part
of the journal. —In the evening of Sept. 10th, we arrived
in Exeter, where we were lodged by a brother, who on
the following day left for Plymouth. The love of this
brother constrained us to remain for five days at his
house, though he was absent, leaving us all the house
with a sister, as a servant, to ourselves. Though at an-
other time I should have preferred the opportunity of
having intercourse with this brother, yet now, in this my
weak state of body, the being left alone was the very
thing which suited me. I could not but trace the kind
hand of God in this circumstance. I was able to speak
twice publicly whilst in Exeter. I rejoiced at what I
saw there of the work of God. This city was in the year
1830 especially laid on my heart, when I used frequently
to preach there; but then there was a great spiritual
deadness.
From Sept. 16th to Sept. 28th we were at Teignmouth,
my former field of labour. I had not seen the brethren,
among whom I used to labour, since May 1833. The
Lord gave me strength many times to minister in the
word among them, during the time of my stay there. At
Teignmouth also, I had, in some respects, reason to be
glad, particularly in that I saw some of those truths prac-
tised, and that more fully and intelligently, which, though
in much weakness and indistinctly, I had sought to set
forth whilst labouring there. At Teignmouth also, as
well as in Exeter, the saints showed us much love. A
brother and sister lodged us during the whole of our stay.
May the Lord reward them for their love —While I was
at Teignmouth I received, on Sept. 18th, the following
letter from brother T., in reference to the work in
Bristol : —
Bristol, Sept. 16, 1839.
My dear Brother, I have delayed writing until now,
that, as I hoped, I might have additional news to tell you
296 [A.D. 1839.
after the Lord’s day. And now that my hope has been
made good, I rejoice to do so. The Lord has dealt most
graciously with us since your departure. The children,
brother B., and the sisters are well, and the wants of the
Orphans have been abundantly supplied. There has come
in altogether 24l. 8s. 6d., &c.
On Sept. 24th I received another letter from brother
T., dated Bristol, Sept. 23rd, in which he writes:
“It rejoices me that I have still nothing but the good-
ness of the Lord to tell you of That little word “Eben-
ezer' is at once our encouragement and our daily
song, of which we are not weary, I have received since
the last information you had from me 5l. 17s. 4d., besides
11. 10s. for the rent of the Orpham-Houses.”
On Sept. 28, while I was at Teignmouth, a brother
asked me about the funds for the Orphans, being willing
to help, and I had reason to believe considerably, if they
were in need. Though I knew not for a certainty that
there was one shilling in hand in Bristol, yet for the
Ilord’s sake I declined telling him any thing about the
funds, in order that the work might evidently be carried
on by dealing with the Lord himself.
On Sept. 28th we left Teignmouth for Plymouth, being
taken by the love of a brother from Teignmouth to New-
ton Bushel in his own little carriage. At Plymouth we
found again a kind brother waiting at the coach office, to
receive us. He took us to his house and lodged us till
our departure, on Oct. 6th. During my stay at Ply-
mouth, I was stirred up afresh to early rising, a blessing,
the results of which I have not lost since. That which
led me to it was the example of the brother in whose
house I was staying, and a remark which he made in
speaking on the sacrifices in Leviticus, “that as not the
refuse of the animals was to be offered up, so the best
part of our time should be especially given to communion
with the Lord.” I had been, on the whole, rather an
early riser during former years. But since the nerves of
my head had been so weak, I thought, that, as the day
was long enough for my strength, it would be best for
me not to rise early, in order that thus the nerves of my
head might have the longer quiet. On this account I
rose only between six and seven, and sometimes after
seven. For the same reason also I brought myself pur-
A.D. 1839.] 297
posely into the habit of sleeping a quarter of an hour, or
half an hour, after dinner: as I thought I found benefit
from it, in quieting the nerves of my head. In this way,
however, my soul had suffered more or less every day,
and sometimes considerably, as now and then unavoidable
work came upon me before I had had sufficient time for
prayer and reading the word. After I had heard the
remark to which I have alluded, I determined, that what-
ever my body might suffer, I would no longer let the most
precious part of the day pass away while I was in bed.
T}y the grace of God I was enabled to begin the very next
day to rise earlier, and have continued to rise early since
that time. I allow myself now about seven hours sleep,
which, though I am far from being strong, and have much
to tire me mentally, I find is quite sufficient to refresh
me. In addition to this I gave up the sleeping after
dinner. The result has been that I have thus been able
to procure long and precious seasons for prayer and medi-
tation before breakfast; and, as to my body, and the state
of the nervous system in particular, I have been much
better since. Indeed I believe that the very worst thing
I could have done for my weak nerves was, to have lain
an hour or more longer in bed than I used to do before
my illness; for it was the very way to keep them weak.--
As this may fall into the hands of some children of God
who are not in the habit of rising early, I make a few
more remarks on the subject.
I. It might be asked, how much time shall I allow
myself for rest ? The answer is, that no rule of universal
application can be given, as all persons do not require the
same measure of sleep, and also the same persons, at
different times, according to the strength or weakness of
their body, may require more or less. Females also,
being generally weaker in body, require more sleep than
males. Yet, from what I can learn, it is the opinion of
medical persons that men in health do not require more
than between six and seven hours sleep, and females no
more than between seven and eight hours; so that it
would be rather an exception for a man to require more
than seven and a woman more than eight hours. But my
decided advice, at the same time, is, that children of God
would be careful not to allow themselves too little sleep,
as there are few men who can do with less than six hours
298 [A.D. 1839.
sleep, and yet be well in body and mind, and few females
who can do with less than seven hours. Certain it is that
for a long time, as a young man before I went to the
university, I went to bed regularly at ten and rose at four,
studied hard, and was in good health; and certain also,
that since I have allowed myself only about seven hours,
from the time of my visit at Plymouth in Oct. 1839, I
have been much better in body, and in my nerves in par-
ticular, than when I was eight or eight hours and a half
in bed.
II. If it be asked, but why should I rise early P. The
reply is, “to remain too long in bed” is 1. waste of time,
which is unbecoming a saint, who is bought by the pre-
cious blood of Jesus, with his time and all he has, to be
used for the Lord. If we sleep more than is needful for
the refreshment of the body, it is wasting the time with
which the Lord has intrusted us as a talent, to be used
for his glory, for our own benefit, and the benefit of the
saints and the unbelievers around us. 2. To remain too
long in bed injures the body. Just as when we take too
much food, we are injured thereby, so as it regards sleep.
Medical persons would readily allow that the lying longer
in bed than is needful for the strengthening of the body
does weaken it. 3. It injures the soul. The lying too
long in bed, not merely keeps us from giving the most
precious part of the day to prayer and meditation, but
this sloth leads also to many other evils.—Any one need
but make the experiment of spending one, two, or three
hours in prayer and meditation before breakfast, either in
his room, or with his Bible in his hand in the fields, and
he will soon find out the beneficial effect which early
rising has upon the outward and inward man. I beseech
all my brethren and sisters into whose hands this may
fall, and who are not in the habit of rising early, to make
the trial, and they will praise the Lord for having done so.
III. It may lastly be said, but how shall I set about
rising early P My advice is, 1. Commence at once, delay
it not. To-morrow begin to rise. 2. But do not depend
upon your own strength. This may be the reason why
before this you may have begun to rise early, but have
given it up. . As surely as you depend upon your own
strength in this matter, it will come to nothing. In every
good work we depend upon the Lord, and in this thing we
A.D. 1839.] 299
shall feel especially how weak we are. If any one rises
that he may give the time which he takes from sleep, to
prayer and meditation, let him be sure that Satan will
try to put obstacles into the way. 3. Do trust in
the Lord for help. You will honour him if you eaſpect
help from him in this matter. Give yourself to prayer.
for help, expect help, and you will have it. 4. Use, how-
ever, in addition to this the following means: a, Go early
to bed. If you stay up late, you cannot rise early. Let
no society and no pressure of engagements keep you from
going habitually early to bed. If you fail in this, you
neither can nor ought to get up early, as your body re-
quires rest. Keep also particularly in mind, that neither
for the body nor the soul is it the same thing whether
you go to bed late and rise late, or whether you go to bed
early and rise early. Even medical persons will tell you
how injurious it is to sit up late, and to spend the morn-
ing hours in bed; but how much more important still is
it to retire early and to rise early, in order to make sure
of time for prayer and meditation before the business of
the day commences, and to devote to those exercises that
part of our time, when the mind and the body are most
jºresh, in order thus to obtain spiritual strength for the
conflict, the trials, and the work of the day. b, Let some
one call you, if possible, at the time which you have
determined before God that you will rise; or procure,
what is still better, an alarum, by which you may regulate
almost to a minute the time when you wish to rise. For
about 12s. a little German clock with an alarum may be
bought almost in every town. Though I have very many
times been awakened by the Lord, in answer to prayer,
almost to the minute when I desired to rise; yet Ithought
it well to procure an alarum to assist me in my purpose
of rising early: not indeed as if it conld give the least
help, without the Lord's blessing, for I should remain in
bed notwithstanding the noise of the alarum, were he not
to give me grace to rise; but simply looking upon it as a
means. c, Rise at once when you are awake. Remain
not a minute longer in bed, else you are likely to fall
asleep again. d, Be not discouraged by feeling drowsy
and tired in consequence of your rising early. This will
soon wear off. You will after a few days feel yourself
stronger and fresher than when you used to lie an hour
300 [A.D. 1839.
or two longer than you needed. e, Allow yourself always
the same hours for sleep. Make no change, except sick-
ness oblige you.
Plymouth, Oct. 1. To-day my soul was again especially
drawn out in prayer for the dear Orphans. I not merely
asked the Lord that he would still continue to supply
their need, but I was so fully assured that he had sent
the necessary means since I last heard, that I was
enabled to praise him for having done so. Immediately
after I had praised him, but while I was yet on my knees,
came another letter from brother T., dated Bristol, Sept.
29, in which he writes thus:
“The Lord’s help has been graciously continued to us
since I wrote last. Ever since your absence the supplies
have come in so seasonably that I have not had occasion,
until now, of opening the boxes in the Orphan-Houses.
There came in, since my last account, from a sister 2s. 6d.,
with Ecclesiastes ix. 10, 17. 1s. 6d., through Mr. C. of
Bath 2l. 3s. 4d., from the boxes 14s. 6; d., from A. M. B.
5s. . Some apples besides have been given, some old
clothes, and a large bath to be sold or used. I gave on
Thursday to the sisters 10l., and to-day for the Boys'-
Orphan-Housell.10s. After this I have in hand 11.3s.8%d.,
to be multiplied as the Lord wills. I had written thus far,
and was on the point of writing that we expected sister
E. home this evening, when the door-bell rang, and sister
E. came in, bringing a little packet of money, directed to
you, from Hereford, enclosing a letter and ten sovereigns
“for your labours of faith and love;” so that the remainder
of the barrel of meal has been multiplied somewhat
already. It is most seasonable help ! It rejoices me that
it has come in time, for you to have the intelligence with
this letter. I have in hand 19s. for the other funds, there-
fore it seems well to me, if it should be needed before I
hear from you, to take only 5l. for the Orphans; but if
it pleases the Lord to enable us to do without, I shall
leave it untouched until you write. In addition to what
I have written I have just received 10s. and 11.9s. 3d.
How gracious !”
The time from October 6th to the 17th I spent among
the brethren at Bideford and Barnstaple, with great re-
freshment to my own soul, and was also allowed by the
Lord to minister to them. The whole of my stay among
A.D. 1839.] 301
the children of God in Devonshire has been very profit-
able to me. May my soul not lose the blessing of it !
How the Lord uses our infirmity of body for the blessing
of our souls | In my case also it was instrumental in
communicating blessing to others. I was able to speak
more frequently in public, while absent from Bristol, than
I should have done under ordinary circumstances, had I
remained in Bristol.
Barnstaple, Oct. 10. The day before yesterday I had
10s. given to me here by a brother for the Orphans; and
yesterday 31, by a sister, which she had had it in her heart
long since to have sent, but had delayed doing so on
account of want of opportunity. But it came now most
seasonably, as will appear from the following letter which
I received this evening from brother T.
Bristol, Oct. 8th, 1839.
“My dear Brother, We have continued to enjoy the
gracious help of the Lord since I last wrote to you.
Nearly up to that time the supplies had come in so sea-
sonably, that the previous disbursements had scarcely
ever been expended, before I was again able to make a
fresh one. Since then, however, we have been twice a
little straitened. On Friday evening we were in prospect
of Saturday’s necessities, and had nothing to meet them,
except the money about which I was in doubt from not
having received directions from you. I had already used
5l. out of the 10l. which had been sent, and now, after
waiting till it was actually needed, we thought it an in-
dication, as none had been sent, that this should all go to
the Orphan-Houses. On Monday again more money was
needed than I had in hand, but we were in expectation of
help. After dinner, as nothing had come in, I thought
it well to open the boxes, thinking, that although I had
opened them so recently, I had no right to presume that
the Lord had not had time to pour into them. The ex-
pectation was not in vain; for in the box at the Boys'-
Orphan-House I found 11. 0s. 1%d., in the box at the
Girls'-Orphan-House 7s. 1d. At the latter place I met
sister A. who gave me 3s. for things which she had sold.
Thus we were most graciously helped through Monday.
Then, in the evening, at the meeting I received from
sister B. 2s., and through sister C. lls. I had opened
the box at the Infant-Orphan-House on Monday, and
D D
302 [A.D. 1839.
found it empty. But to-day, finding the 13s. insufficient,
and being told that something had been put in, I opened
it, and found 3s.6d., which nicely helped us through.
And we are now looking to the Lord for more. In the
mean time I shall this morning attend to the sale of
whatever has been given to be sold. It comforts us to
know you are praying for us,” &c.
The money which I had received yesterday and the day.
before yesterday here, at Barnstaple, and two weeks ago
at Teignmouth, enabled me now to send off at once 5l.
On Oct. 17th I returned to Bristol with renewed
strength for active service.
Oct. 17. Bristol. The Lord has been again very
gracious as it regards the funds; for during the last three
days while I was at Barnstaple I received from a sister
5s., two rings, and a brooch. From another sister a gold
watch, to be sold for the Orphans. From a brother a seal,
two ear-rings, and a brooch. From a third sister sixteen
books to be sold; also 4!., the produce of a veil. From a
fourth sister 21. 10s., and from a fifth 1.l., and from five
others 8s. 9d. In addition to this I found when I came
home, that though my fellow-labourers had been greatly
tried a few days previous to my return, so much so that,
when the 5l. arrived which I sent from Barnstaple, they
were in greater poverty than they ever had been ; yet
within the last days several pounds had come in, and
yesterday, over and above all this, arrived 15l. from Lon-
don for some articles which had been sent there to be
sold. What can we render unto the Lord for all his
benefits -
Oct. 19. The Lord is still pouring in bountifully
This morning 10l. was sent from Worcester, and a sister
brought 71., being the produce of the sale of ladies’ bas-
kets, which she and some other sisters are making for the
benefit of the Orphans. This last case shows what various
means the Lord uses to provide for our need; yet all
comes without one single individual being asked to give
help; for to the Lord alone we speak about our need. We
are now again comparatively rich, i. e. we have means in
hand to meet the current expenses of about eight days,
which has been only two or three times the case during
the last fifteen months. ... •
Oct. 30. A little boy brought me a letter, given to him
A.D. 1839.] 303
by a gentleman and lady in the street, as he said, to take
to my house. The letter contained these words with a
five pound note: “The enclosed 5l. accept for the benefit
of the Orphans, in the name of the Lord Jesus.”
Nov. 5. To-day an Orphan was brought from Bath,
and a lady sent by her servant, the aunt of the child, a
sovereign for the Orphans, when there was but 3s. 11d.
in hand. It has been thus repeatedly, that when orphans
have been brought, and we had no money, or scarcely any,
that the Lord sent a little with these poor children. It
never is with us any question whether there is much or
little money in hand, so far as it regards the reception of
children, but only, whether there is room.
Nov. 8. We are now again quite poor. The Lord
gave us to know more than usually from Oct 17th to
Oct. 31st what it is to abound, and now we know again
what it is to be poor. It would have been desirable to
have had 37, to-day, but only 11. 3s. 11d. was in hand,
which I sent off. In our need we were led to open the
boxes in the Orphan-Houses, which had not been done
for some weeks, and in them was found 16s. 2; d. To
this one of the labourers added 9s. By this 21. 9s. 1; d.
we could meet those expenses which needed to be met,
and we were thus helped through the day.
Nov. 9. Saturday. 31. 0s. 6d. was required to-day, in
order comfortably to meet the present demands, but not
one penny was in hand. Between ten and eleven I went
to the Girls'-Orphan-House, to meet with my fellow-
labourers for prayer. Only 2s. had come in. This was
all I could leave. There was every thing in the houses
which was required for the moment, and I proposed that
we should meet again for prayer in the afternoon at four.
When we did so, one of the labourers gave 8s. 6d., ano-
ther 10s., another 5s. 6d., so that I had as much to give
to the matrons as would provide comfortably all the
necessaries for the children till Monday morning; only
the usual quantity of bread could not be taken in. About
half an hour, after we had separated, came in 11. 10s., the
produce of the sale of a shawl, which a sister from Devon-
shire had given for that purpose some days since. Thus
we had altogether 27, 18s., whereas when the day com-
menced we had no natural prospect of any thing. This
is a new sweet encouragement. Besides this, our Father
D D 2 -
304 [A.D. 1839.
has given us another proof of his continued care, in that
twenty sacks of potatoes and a small barrel of herrings
have been sent for the Orphans.
Nov. 11. Monday morning. Yesterday, when, as just
related, there was not a penny in hand, there was given to
me, with Ecclesiastes ix. 10, ten shillings. This morning
came in 1. 10s. more. Soon afterwards a note was sent
to me from the Orphan-Houses, to say that the need of
to-day would be 31. JUST whilE I was READING THE
NOTE I received another, including a sovereign, which a
sister from Devonshire had given to one of the brethren
for the Orphans. Thus I had just the 3!, which was needed.
A few minutes after came in 1s. more.
Nov. 12. The need of to-day was 27. As only 1s.
had been left in hand yesterday, and no more than 6s.
had come in, we were again in a strait. But I was not
looking at the little in hand, but at the fulness of God.
I sent off the little which I had. In the afternoon we
met for prayer. I then found that 2s. 6d. had been taken
out of the box in the Infant-Orphan-House, and that 4s.
more had come in by the sale of some old books. To this
one of the labourers added 2s. 8d., all she had of her own.
After prayer came in 2s. 6d., which had been given while
we were in prayer. In the evening we met again for
prayer, when another labourer gave 3s. 4d. Thus in our
deep poverty we got together this day 11. 0s. 7d., which
supplied our absolute necessities. We were this after-
noon so reduced, till the Lord sent a little help, that there
were no means to provide breakfast for to-morrow, for
the children in the Boys'-Orphan-House.
Nov. 13. Nothing has come in. Our need is even
greater to-day than yesterday, on account of our not
having been able yesterday to take in the usual quantity
of provisions. In this our need I packed up the books,
which had been intended for sale on Aug. 22, when the
Lord sent such a rich supply, before they were actually
disposed of. To them one of the labourers added some
of his own, and a few other articles. Also some old
jackets which had been sent were packed up to be disposed
of. At twelve I met with my fellow-labourers for prayer.
There was every thing in the houses which was needed
for dinner, but there were no means to get milk for tea.
(The children have milk and water at tea time.) Three
A.D. 1839.] . 305
of my helpers went out to dispose of the articles. At
four in the afternoon I received the information that
14s. had come in, for some of the things which were dis-
posed of. One of my fellow-labourers had besides disposed
of an article of his own for 17. 5s. This 12. 19s. enabled
us to take in bread as usual, and to defray the other
necessary expenses. We had never been lower in means
than yesterday and to-day. Yet my soul, thanks to the
Lord ' was also yesterday and to-day in perfect peace.
My helpers seem also quite in peace. This evening, I re-
ceived 2s. 6d., and 11s, with Ecclesiastes ix. 10. This
little money is as precious, as at other times 100l. would
have been, because it is a fresh proof that our Father
still cares for us. The money was given to me just after
I had been speaking on these words: “But I am poor
and needy; yet the Lord thinketh upon me.” Whilst
speaking I was able, in a measure, to realize the precious-
ness of the truth contained in those words, and after
speaking my Father gave me a fresh proof that he is
thinking upon me.
Nov. 14. I took the 13s.6d. which was given last
evening, early this morning, to the Orphan-Houses, where
I found that 10s. 6d. had come in by the sale of an Hebrew
Old and a Greek New Testament, which a brother had
given who had more than one copy; and 1s. 6d. for ano-
ther book. This 11. 5s. 6d. has been divided, in the hope that
our kind Father will remember us before the day is over,
and send in more.—This afternoon, when we met for
prayer, I found that 18s, more had come in for some arti-
cles which had been sold. We have had thus 21. 3s. 6d.
this day to divide for housekeeping. By the good hand
of the Lord upon us, there has been every thing really
needful. May the Lord look upon us and help us further!
Surely, he will do it!
Nov. 15. We are still in deep poverty. Nothing had
come in by four o’clock in the afternoon, when I went to
meet with my fellow-labourers for prayer. I did not go
in the morning, because I knew that there was every
thing which was needed till the afternoon. When I came
I found that a sister had given 2s. 6d.; a new Bible which
one of the labourers had given, who had more than one
old copy, had been sold for 10s. ; also 2s. had come in,
and 1s. 4d. for some other articles which had been sold.
D D 3
306 [A.D. 1839.
This 15s. 10d. supplied that which was absolutely needed
for to-day. We are still of good courage. We are sure
that the Lord, in his own time, will deliver us out of the
trial; for were our poverty more than a trial of faith, had
the Lord in anger shut up his hands, we should not re-
ceive any thing at all. But this is not the case. For
even this very day two sacks of potatoes were sent by the
same brother who sent twenty sacks a few days since,
with the promise to send still more. We have no means
to lay in a stock for the winter, else we should have bought,
perhaps, fifty or sixty sacks; but our kind Father does it
for us. There has been also a toy chest of drawers
promised for sale.
Nov. 16. Our prayer was last evening, in particular,
respecting the necessities of to-day, as two days’ pro-
visions would be needed, it being Saturday. Besides this,
about 21. 10s. was needed to pay the weekly salaries of
the brethren and sisters who labour in the lay-Schools.
For all these demands there was nothing in hand, nor
have we any more needless articles to dispose of; and use-
jul ones we do not consider it right to sell, as our Father
knows our need. When we met about twelve o’clock this
morning, I found that last evening there had been Bibles
unexpectedly sold to the amount of 17. 11s. 6d., and
about 10s. had been given besides. Thus we had nearly
enough for the School-Fund. Moreover, 15s. had come in
for the Orphan-Fund. A large sea-chest was given by a
brother several months since, for the benefit of the Or-
phans, which had never been disposed of, and which,
in this our great need, was sold for 15s. Yet this 15s.
was needed to pay what was due for washing; and, there-
fore, we had still nothing to take in provisions with. It
occurred to one of the labourers, that there might be a
little advanced on his watch, of the money which had been
laid by for rent, as had once or twice before been done;
and that the watch might be sold at quarter-day, in case
there should not come in enough to make up the defi-
ciency. Yet even this plan we did not any longer think
to be quite Scriptural, as he needs the watch in the Lord’s
service, and as our Lord is so kind, that he would other-
wise send us means, were it well for us. In short, it ap-
peared to us quite clear, that while we ought, in such a
strait, to dispose of things which we do not need, nothing
A.D. 1839.] 307
ought to be disposed of which is needed, in order that the
Ilord’s own deliverance might be so much the more mani-
fest. All we could think of for sale was five pewter
dishes, which had been given nearly four years ago, but
which were never used, as they were not convenient.
These we agreed should be sold. About four o'clock this
afternoon I received 21. 2s., which a brother and sister
had brought from Leicestershire. With this I went joy-
fully to the Orphan-Houses. There I found that 9s. 6d.
had come in for the pewter dishes; one of the labourers
had given 10s. for the Orphans, and 10s. for the School-
Funds. (There had come in 2s. more for the other funds.
All demands were met, and there was 1s. 6d. over.)
Besides this, one of the labourers had sold a book of his
own for 4s., and another labourer gave two pairs of new
gloves, and four gentlemen's stocks. One pair of the
gloves had been sold. Thus altogether had come in
4l. 2s. 8d., and therefore about 17. 10s. more than was
needed. We are now brought to the close of one more
week. This has been, perhaps, of all the weeks the most
trying. So much prayer, and so little coming in, I never
knew. Yet, by the grace of God, I was sure that help
would come after the trial of faith was over. Turing the
whole of this week, greatly as we have been tried, and
though twice no stock of bread could be taken in,
yet there has been nourishing food at every meal, and
neither the children nor any other person can have per-
ceived our poverty. About 137. has been spent even this
week for housekeeping in the three Orphan-Houses.
Nov. 18. Monday. The Lord has kindly sent in since
Saturday evening 31, 18s. 34d., and thus our need for to-
day is supplied. On Saturday evening the produce of an
orphan-box, 5s. 14d., was given ; and last evening a sister
gave two sovereigns to brother Craik, waiting for him a
long time in the chapel, till she could see him. She
might have delayed giving it till another time, as she had
to wait so long; but the Lord knew our need. There were
also sent eight sacks of potatoes, by the same brother who
had sent twenty-two sacks before.
Nov. 19. As there was not enough money in hand for
the necessities of to-day, we were again as poor as on
Saturday. Between three and four in the afternoon the
milk is generally taken in; but in the Boys'-Orphan-
308 [A.D. 1839.
House there was not money enough to meet this small
expense. However, the Lord knew our need, and sent us
at two o'clock 13s., which helped us comfortably through
the day. A sister had purposed in her heart to give 3d.
a week for the Orphans, and she felt herself stirred up to
bring the yearly amount now, in this our extremity.
Nov. 20. This has been a day of deep poverty. Nothing
but the 13s., above referred to, came in yesterday, which
was scarcely enough to meet yesterday's usual need. My
mind, by the grace of God, was not at all cast down, but
I felt it rather trying that the abundance of my other
engagements had not allowed me to meet with my fellow-
labourers either yesterday or to-day for prayer. This
evening I had a note from the Boys'-Orphan-House, to
state that a lady had sent two dozen of boys' shirts, which
she had made herself, with which she sent 5s. to get them
washed. This 5s. enabled us to meet that which was
absolutely needful. [I mention here, that while our usual
current expenses are about 27, 10s. daily for housekeeping
in the three houses; yet we might, in case of need, do for
one or two days with as little as yesterday and to-day, as
there are generally potatoes and meat in the house, and a
stock of bread for two days, in order that the children
may eat stale bread.] Without this 5s. we should have
been unable to procure all that was absolutely needed.
This our kind Father knew, and therefore he sent it.
There were also given two quarterns of bread by one of
the bakers, which made up the usual quantity. Moreover,
five and a half sacks of potatoes were sent by the brother
who sent the others, making in all 35% sacks.
Nov. 21. This morning one of the labourers gave 7s.,
in order that there might be means to take in milk,
Between ten and eleven o’clock we met for prayer, and I
found that 10s. had come in for a toy chest of drawers,
which in this our great need had been sent for sale.
Besides this, 6d. had been taken out of the box in the
Infant-Orphan-House. This 17s. 6d. enabled us to pro-
vide the dinner, and to take in a little bread in two houses,
even as much as would be enough for breakfast to-morrow;
but there was 4s. 6d. needed to buy bread for the Boys'-
Orphan-House, as there was only enough for to-day.
When we met again this afternoon, 3s. had come in, as
one of the labourers had sold a few old books. Another
A.D. 1839.] 309
labourer gave 1s. 6d., and thus we had also the 4s. 6d.,
which was needed for bread. After prayer, it was men-
tioned that a sister, a servant, who is out of a situation,
had been this afternoon to see the Orphan-Houses, and
had put something into the box at the Girls'-Orphan-
House. The box was opened, and half-a-crown was found
in it. This money was, in our deep poverty, as acceptable
as 50l. at other times might have been. We rejoiced
when we saw it ; for it was a fresh proof to us, that, not
in anger, but only for the trial of our faith, we are so
poor. This 2s. 6d. provides us with the means to take in
milk to-morrow morning, so that we shall have every thing
which is needed till after breakfast to-morrow, but then
there is neither bread, nor meat, etc. remaining for dinner.
Our comfort, however, is: “The morrow shall take thought
for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil
thereof.” Matt. vi. 34, We separated very happy in God,
though very poor, and our faith much tried.
Nov. 22. Our poverty had now become very great.
Greater it had never been. Yet, the Lord be praised I
was as comfortable as ever; for I was sure we were onl
for the trial of our faith in this state. Had the Lord shut
up his hands in anger, he would not have continued to
give us, even during this week, from time to time, tokens
of his care over us. I said this morning: “Man’s
necessity is God’s opportunity” is a proverb of the world,
and how much more may we, his children, now look to
him in our great need. I knew we must have help in
some way, as now it had come to the greatest extremity,
there being in none of the houses any thing for dinner,
except potatoes, of which we have an abundance. At ten
this morning I was informed that a large box, bearing my
address, had arrived at one of the Orphan-Houses. I set
off immediately, and found it was from the neighbourhood
of Wolverhampton. It contained 127. for the Orphans,
1. 11s. 10d. for the other Funds, 4 yards of flannel, 9
yards of calico, 12 yards of print, 43 yards of coloured
cotton, 4 yards of stuff, 2 pairs of stockings, and 34 yards
of brown holland. Besides this, there were in it the fol-
lowing articles for sale : 2 decanters and stands, 4 glass
salt cellars, 3 scent bottles, a set of cruets and stand, 5
beer glasses, 7 chimney ornaments, 3 tortoise-shell combs,
3 fans, 2 silver vinaigrettes, 2 silver shoe buckles, 2 Waist
310 [A.D. 1839.
buckles, 2 silver salt-cellars, 1 pair of knives and forks
with silver handles, a small silver toasting-fork, 9 silver
coins, 3 gold rings, 4 pairs of ear-rings, 3 brooches, a
cornelian heart, a silver seal, 1 pair of silver studs, 1 gold
watch key, 1 silver pencil case, 5 pairs of bracelets, 5
necklaces, and 1 urn rug. The joy which I and my fellow-
labourers had when all these things lay before us, cannot
be described; it must be experienced in order that it may
be known. It was two hours and a half before the dinner
time, when the help was granted. The Lord knew that
the Orphans had no dinner, and, therefore, did he now
send help.–This morning also a brother sent to the Girls'-
Orphan-House to ask whether the treacle cask was empty,
and if so, to send it by the messenger, that it might
be filled. -
Nov. 24. To-day 5l. came in again with Ecclesiastes
ix. 10, besides 11. 10s. for the rents.
Nov. 27. To-day again some money was needed for
housekeeping. But as a little had come in yesterday and
to-day, we had enough.
Nov. 28. Last evening 10s. came in, which was just
enough to supply this day’s need. We are now again
pennyless. .
Nov. 29. A great part of the articles, which were sent
this day week from the neighbourhood of Wolverhampton,
have now been disposed of for 5l. 11s. ; we are, therefore,
supplied for to-day and to-morrow.
Dec. 2. Since the last money has been given out for
housekeeping, only 1%. 12s. has come in ; but as 11.10s.
of this had been given for the rents, I had only 2s. in
hand, when brother B., the master at the Boys'-Orphan-
House, came this morning, and told me that the need of
to-day would be at least 21. I gave him the 2s. which I
had, and proposed that we should pray together for more
means. WHILE WE WERE IN PRAYER, a brother called.
After prayer brother B. left me, and the brother who had
come gave me 5l. As soon as he had left I went joyfully
with the money to the Orphan-Houses, to prevent the
bakers being sent away. This evening I received still
further 21. Thus the Lord has richly supplied our need
for to-day and to-morrow.
Dec. 3. The Lord has remembered again our need for
to-morrow. I received to-day from Liverpool 15s. ; and
A.D. 1839.] 311
from a brother in the neighbourhood of London, who had
been staying here for a season, 5l. ; also 11, by the sale of
Some articles.
Dec. 4. It has been repeatedly our prayer during the
last month and in the beginning of this, that the Lord
would be pleased to give us again so much means, before
the time of the public meetings, which are fixed for the
10th, 11th, and 12th, of this month, that when we speak
about his dealings with us during this year, we might also
respecting the close of it have again to speak, to his praise,
of the abundance which we had in hand. At the end of
last year we made the same request, and the Lord granted
it. Now to-day, as an answer to this our often repeated
request, I received from the East Indies 100l., to be laid
out for the Orphans, or the other objects of our Institu-
tion. Respecting this money it is to be noticed : 1. The
great distance from whence it is sent. 2. That it comes
just now, and thus enables us to speak at the meetings of
this rich supply after our trials. 3. It furnishes us with
means to order Bibles, as one half of the money will be
taken for the other funds; there having been a great
inquiry for Bibles lately, and we have not been able to
meet the demand, for want of means. Respecting this
point also we have prayed repeatedly, and now the Lord.
has answered our petition. How very precious it is to
wait on the Lord! What an abundant proof have we in
this donation, that all our late straits, as it regards means,
were only allowed for the trial of our faith ! This evening
came in still further 17. 5s. -
T)ec. 9. Since Dec. 4 several small donations have
come in, so that up to the last day of this fourth year
of the Orphan-work the Lord has continued his kindness
to us.
On Dec. 10, 11, and 12 we had public meetings, at
which the account of the Lord’s dealings with us in
reference to the Orphan-Houses and the other objects of
the Scriptural Knowledge Institution was given. During
the whole of the past year, as formerly, the labourers who
are engaged in the work had kept their trials and their
joys of faith to themselves, but now we considered the
time to have come when, for the benefit of the church at
large, and to the glory of our Lord, we should make our
boast in him.—It is now (i.e. on Dec. 10, 1839) five
312 [A.D. 1889.
years and nine months since the Scriptural Knowledge
Institution has been in operation. In addition to what
has been said about the Lord’s dealings with us, more
especially in regard to the funds, I make a few more
remarks, with reference to his kindness to us, in other
respects, during the last year. 1. During the last year
also we have been enabled to continue to provide all the
needful expenses connected with the six Day Schools,
three for boys and three for girls. The number of the
children who are at present in them amounts to 286. The
number of all the children that have had schooling in the
Day Schools, through the medium of the Institution, since
its formation, amounts to 1795. 2. There are at present
226 children in the Sunday-school. 3. There are 14 taught
to read in the Adult School, and there have been about
130 adults instructed in that School, since the formation
of the Institution. 4. There have been circulated during
the last year 514 copies of the Scriptures, and 5592 since
March 5, 1834. 5. There has been laid out during the
last year 917.6s. for Missionary purposes. 6. There have
been received into the three Orphan Houses from Dec. 9,
1838, to Dec. 9, 1839, 16 orphans. There are at present
96 orphans in the three houses. The number of all the
orphans, who have been under our care from April 11,
1836, to Dec. 9, 1839, amounts to 126.
I notice further the following points in connexion with
the Orphan-Houses.
1. Without any one having been asked for any thing by
us, the sum of 3,0671. 8s. 9}d. has been given to us
entirely as the result of prayer to God, from the com-
mencement of the work up to Dec. 9, 1839. 2. Besides
this, there have also been sent many articles of clothing,
furniture, and provisions, for the use of the Orphans, and
many trinkets, etc. for sale. 3. Without our solicitation,
three medical gentlemen, (one for each house), have, up
to this time, kindly given their attendance and medicines
gratuitously. 4. The hand of God is most manifest in
that we have had so little sickness, considering that so
many persons during this autumn have been suffering
from fever, etc. Even in this particular I desire publicly
to acknowledge the Lord’s peculiar kindness to us. 5.
Though most of the children have been brought up in a
very different manner from what one could desire, yet the

A.D. 1839.] 313
Lord has constrained them, on the whole, during this year
also, to behave exceedingly well, so much so that it has
continued to attract the attention of all observers. 6.
That, however, which gives us the chief ground for thank-
fulness, so far as the children are concerned, is, that in
eight of them we perceive decided proofs of a real change of
heart and of faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, so that they
have been received into church fellowship. We are not
surprised that these children, who are from 9 years old and
upwards, have been converted; for the conversion of the
orphans under our care has been a frequent subject of
prayer among us, and that of late more than ever; so that
we fully expect, if the Lord shall continue to give prayer
for them, that soon many more will be brought to believe
in the Lord Jesus.
The total of the expenses, connected with the objects of
the Institution, exclusive of the Orphan-Houses, from
Nov. 19, 1838, to Nov. 19, 1839, is 5427. 13s. The
balance in hand on Nov. 19, 1839, was 18s. 5d.
The total of the expenses, connected with the three
Orphan-Houses, from Dec. 9, 1838, to Dec. 9, 1839, is
960l. 9s. 23d. The balance in hand on Dec. 9, 1839, was
46l. 8s. 1d.
Dec. 24. This morning we wanted again more money
for the Orphans than there was in hand. It is only eight
days since the last public meeting, when there was a
balance of 46l. 8s. 1d. in hand. On this account we disposed
of some silver articles and books which had been sent
within the last days for the benefit of the Orphans, by
which means we have enough for to-day and to-morrow.
Dec. 31. My health is much better than for years.
My mental powers also are as good as they have been at
any time during the last three years. I ascribe this to
God’s blessing, through the instrumentality of early rising,
and plunging my head into cold water when I rise.
314 [A.D. 1840.
IREVIEW OF The YEAR 1839.
I. As to the church:
68 brethren and sisters brother Craik and I found in
fellowship when we came to Bristol.
573 have been admitted into fellowship since we came to
*=ºsº Bristol.
641 would be, therefore, the total number of those in fel-
lowship with us, had there been no changes. But
40 have fallen asleep ;
33 are under church discipline, which is the
total number of all the cases out of 641
individuals, during seven years and seven
months. How much reason to mourn that
there are any; and yet how much reason for
gratitude that the number is so small !
55 saints have left Bristol.
38 have left us, but are still in Bristol. Only 38
— during seven years and seven months
166 are therefore to be deducted from 641, so
that there are only 475 at present in fellow-
ship with us.
During the last year have been added 115, of whom 34
have been brought to the knowledge of the Lord among us.
II. As to my temporal supplies.
The Lord has been pleased to give me during the past
year:
1. By the Free-will offerings through the
boxes gº & e º 'º . £137 4 5
2. By Presents in money, from saints re-
siding in and out of Bristol . . . . 121 18 0
3. By Money, through family connexion . 42 0 0
4. By Presents in clothes, provisions, etc.,
which were worth to us at least . . 12 O O
£313 2 5
January 1, 1840. Our usual meeting last night was
most precious ! We continued together from seven till
half-past twelve. Of all the similar meetings which we
A.D. 1840.] 315
have had, it was, according to my judgment, by far the
best. Not more than five prayed; but there was much
more real prayer, than at former meetings.--This morn-
ing, about one hour after midnight, when our prayer
meeting was over, I received a paper with some money
sealed up in it for the Orphans. A few minutes after-
wards I remembered that the individual who gave it was
in debt, and I was aware she had been repeatedly asked
by her creditors for payment; I resolved therefore,
without opening the paper, to return it, as no one has a
right to give whilst in debt. This was done when I knew
that there was not enough in hand to meet the ea penses of
the day. About eight this morning a brother brought 5l.,
which he had received just then from his mother, for the
Orphans. Observe, the brother is led to bring it at once!
The Lord knew our need, and therefore this brother could
not delay bringing the money. A few hours after I
received 5l. more, and 8s. 5d., also 2s. 6d. ; so that we are
now again supplied for three or four days.
Jan. 5. Besides the 10l. 10s. 11d. which came in on
New-year's-day, there came in on the 2nd and 4th, 21.0s.7d.
But when now we were again without a penny, there came
in 5s., and 6d., and 1s. Also 2ſ. with Ecclesiastes ix. 10,
and ll. 10s. for rent.
Jan. 7. To-day, when there were again only a few
shillings in hand, as since the 5th had come in only 3s., I
gave myself to prayer, when, just after I had risen from
any knees, a sister came and brought 11., as a thank-
offering to the Lord for the many mercies of the past year.
There came in still further to-day, by ten different dona-
tions and the sale of two Reports, 21. 17s.
Jan. 8. There were only a few shillings more in hand
than was needed for housekeeping to-day. Nevertheless
our kind Father remembered us before the day was over.
A sister, a servant, gave me 15s. ; also with Ecclesiastes
ix. 10, came in 5l. 5s., from two sisters 6s. 1d., and by sale
of Reports 3s.
Jan. 22. I have repeatedly asked the Lord for means
to be able to order more Bibles, as two sorts were again
exhausted. There is moreover scarcely enough money in
hand to pay the teachers next Saturday. This afternoon
I received from a sister 14l. 2s. 7d., which she had had in
the Savings' Bank. She considered that this money
E E 2
316 [A.D. 1840.
would be better used in the Lord’s work, than left in the
Savings' Bank. Thus I was enabled to order some Bibles.
Prom Jan. 8th to 22nd came in 34l. 9s. 5d. for the
Orphans, and the donations were so seasonable, that
always either something was given, or articles which had
been given for sale could be disposed of, before the last
money had been expended. But as there was to-day again
only very little in hand, I was led to open the orphan-box
in my house, in which I found two papers, the one con-
taining 10s., the other a 5l. note. In both papers was
written Eccles. ix. 10. There came in to-day still further
above 5l. Thus our Lord has sent us what we are likely
to need for three or four days to come. -
Jan. 25. I have been much in prayer this week about
going to Germany : 1, To see certain brethren who pur-
pose to go as Missionaries to the East Indies; and 2, To
see my father once more. I am led to go just now,
instead of delaying it, because my health is again so failing,
that it seems desirable I should leave Bristol at all events,
and thus I could continue to serve in the work of the
Lord, and yet attend to the benefit of my health at the
same time. Lord, keep me from making a mistake in this
matter |
Jan. 31. Since Jan. 22 several small donations came
in for the Orphans, and several pounds by the sale of
silver articles, trinkets, &c. But as I have had to pay out
to-day 111.13s., we are now again very poor. For many
days past we have been so helped, that money has always
come in, before all was spent. Now there is only 1s. 5d.
in hand. The Lord will provideſ I feel quite comfortable,
though in three days I shall have to leave the work for
several weeks.--About three hours after I had written the
above, came in 17. 14s. 1; d. In the afternoon I received
still further from Tottenham for the Orphans 10l., and in
the evening from Hereford 30l., of which latter sum there
was 6l. for the Orphans, and 24!. for the other objects of
the Scriptural Knowledge Institution. Thus the Lord
will kindly allow me to leave a little money behind on my
departure, and I have also a still further answer to my
prayer for means to purchase Bibles, for which I have
asked the Lord repeatedly, and which he began to answer
by the donation which I received on the 22nd. I have
received 5l. besides for the other objects.
A.D. 1840.] 317
Feb. 1. I have now felt quite sure for several days
past, that I should leave Bristol for a season, and go to
Germany. If the Lord permit, I shall leave the day after
to-morrow.
Feb. 2. To-day and yesterday has come in still further,
before my departure, nearly 97, for the Orphans. How kind
of the Lord to send this money just now, on the eve of my
leaving home !
Feb. 3. To-day I left Bristol for Berlin.
On Feb. 5th I left London in the steamer for Hamburg.
Though it had been so very stormy for several weeks past,
the Lord gave us a very favourable passage ; the first, as
the captain said, which they had had for several weeks.
We landed at Hamburg on the 7th at five in the afternoon.
The porter who carried my things led me, as I afterwards
found out, some by-way, either to save a long distance, or
to get me into the city with my luggage, though it was
after the custom-house hours. I did not understand this
at first ; but, when we were about to enter the city, he
told me that that was not the proper way, but that if I
would give to the custom-house officer, whom I should
presently see at the entrance into the city, a small fee,
he would let me pass. My reply was that I did not
wish to do what was unlawful, nor should I give a fee to
encourage what was unlawful, and that I would rather
go a long way round, than get by such means into the
city. Presently we arrived at the place at which the custom-
house officer stood, who, on my telling him plainly
that I had not the least wish to pass that way, if it
were unlawful, saw that I was only a passenger, and that
I had no wish to get into the city with goods which are
not duty free, and therefore let me pass. This little cir-
cumstance proves afresh in how many little things the
children of God may act differently from the world, to the
glory of their Father, and how, in going the Lord’s way,
we find it to be, even as far as this life is concerned, the
easiest path.--About half an hour after, when I arrived
at the hotel, a little circumstance served afresh to remind
me, that the Christian, like the bee, might suck honey
out of every flower. I saw upon a snuffer-stand in bas-
relief “A heart, a cross under it, and roses under both.”
The meaning was obviously this, that the heart which
bears the cross for a time meets with roses afterwards. I

E E 3
3.18 [A.D. 1840.
applied it to myself, and this little event greatly cheered
my heart in this place, where I was without the fellow-
ship of a single believer.
I left Hamburg in the evening of Feb. 8th, travelled all
night, all day, and the whole of the second night, and
reached Berlin on the morning of the 10th. I confessed
not the Lord Jesus on this long journey, which I record
here to my shame; nor did I give any other testimony
for Jesus in the steamer, than merely refraining from the
light and trifling conversation of the party, and all this
after I had had on my way from Bristol to London a
fresh encouragement in conversing with a gay traveller
addicted to drinking, who evidently listened with a mea-
sure of attention, and with a desire of having his chains
broken.
|From Feb. 10th to 20th I was in Berlin. I think it is
likely that eight or nine brethren and sisters will go from
hence to the East Indies.—After having been greatly
helped by the Lord in my work, the first and special
object of my journey to the Continent; mercifully kept
by him in the narrow path and in great peace, whilst
surrounded with temptations on every side; and after
having also seen afresh abundant reason to praise the
Lord for all the way in which he had led me since I lived
here in 1828 and 1829; I left Berlin on the evening
of Feb. 20th for Magdeburg, which I reached on the
morning of the 21st, and on the same evening I arrived
at my father’s house.—In all human probability I now
see my dear father the last time. He is evidently much
weaker than he was two years ago, and coughs much
more. What has the Lord done for me since I lived in
the house where I am now ! The two rooms where I
am now most in prayer, reading the word, and confessing
his name, were those very rooms in which I sinned most,
whilst living here many years ago. I have had again
opportunity, most fully to bring out the truth about the
work of the Lord Jesus before my father, whilst con-
versing a long time with a woman in his hearing, to whom
I showed from the Scriptures, that we are to be saved,
not by our own works, but simply by faith in the Lord
Jesus, who bore the punishment instead of us, and who
fulfilled the law in our room.
A.D. 1840.] 319
Feb. 24 and 25. I am still at Heimersleben. My dear
father is very weak. -
Feb. 26. This morning I left Heimersleben. I took
leave of my father most probably for the last time. It has
been a great pleasure to me, and I consider it a great
privilege, to have been permitted by the Lord once more
to see my father, once more personally to show him filial
love and regard, and once more to set the truth before
him. He has been again during the whole of this my
stay most affectionate to me, as he was during my two
former visits to him since I left the Continent to reside
in England. How cheerfully should I have left him this
morning, did I know him to be safe in Jesus ! But, alas !
he as yet is not resting upon Christ, though he is so far
religious as to read prayers and the Bible.—After I
had left him I went to my faithful and beloved friend,
brother Stahlschmidt, at Sandersleben, but found him
absent from home. -
Brother Kroll, the servant of brother Stahlschmidt,
[whom I have mentioned in the first part of my Narrative,
received me with much affection. When this brother
first came to Sandersleben, in 1829, there was scarcely a
single true Christian besides his master in the little
town. Soon afterwards he began to hold meetings,
which were attended by the two or three who loved the
Lord Jesus, These meetings were for a long time suffered
to go on quietly; but when the Lord blessed them, and
others were stirred up to care about their souls, brother
Rroll had to appear before the magistrates, and was for-
bidden to hold them. When this was of no effect, (as he
considered that he ought only to obey earthly rulers in
things in which he could do so with a good conscience,)
and they continued still to meet together, the police came
into one of their meetings, and forced them to discontinue
it. When even this availed nothing, the brethren were
finally threatened that every one who attended these
meetings should pay three dollars, and every one who read
or spoke at them should pay five, which is a large sum in
Germany for poor people. But notwithstanding all these
obstacles, the few poor saints continue their meetings,
but in secret, to be unmolested by the police. They have
now neither a stated place nor a fixed time for their meet-
ings. On the second and third evenings, whilst I was at
320 [A.D. 1840.
‘Sandersleben, I met with them. On the second evening
we were in the room of a poor weaver. The dear brethren
would have me sit on the only chair which was in the
room. It was a very small room, perhaps twice as large
as the loom, which was in it. There were about twenty-
five or thirty persons present, many of whom had seated
themselves in and under the loom, and the rest sat on
two or three little forms. These meetings were very
precious. The very fact of going to them with the feeling
of having to pay the fine, or to suffer an adequate impri-
sonment, should one be found there, makes them to be
doubly valued; and I believe that the Lord’s double
blessing rests upon them. I spoke long both times,
indeed, as long as I had strength, and the dear people
seemed to eat the word.—I have so circumstantially re-
lated these facts, that thereby the children of God in
Great Britain may be led more highly to value their
religious privileges, and to make good use of them whilst
they are continued.
It is worthy of remark, that while the meetings at San-
dersleben were permitted to continue, there was no
believing clergyman in the little town; but about the
time that they were forbidden, the Lord sent a brother
who truly preaches the gospel. I had for some hours
refreshing and most affectionate brotherly intercourse with
him. May the Lord let his blessing rest upon him, and
help him to be a faithful witness for God in that dark
neighbourhood | -
I had travelled so fast, and stayed so short a time in
the places where I had been, that I was obliged to leave
Heimersleben without having received the letter which I
had expected from my wife there, a matter of no small trial
(as those who have been for some time at a great distance
from home, know it to be); especially in my case, as, on
account of the Orphans and the other work, besides my
family, it was of so much importance for me to hear from
time to time. I had arranged with my father to have the
letter sent to me to Sandersleben, by an express messenger,
who could be obtained for a small remuneration. How-
ever, hour after hour passed away, on the 27th, and the
messenger did not arrive. At last the time was gone by,
as it was getting dark, and the person ought to have come
at noon. I now lifted up my heart to the Lord, beseech-

A.D. 1840.] 321
ing him to give me grace to give up my own will in this
thing. No soonar had I been brought into such a state, as
to be TRULY content and satisfied with the will of the Lord
in this matter, than the expected letter was handed over
to me. The woman who brought it had lost her way in
the morning, on account of a dense fog, which made her
so late. I have frequently found, under similar circum-
stances, that, after I had been brought into such a state
as to be willing to give up my own will, whereby I was
fitted to bear the blessing, the Lord gave me the desire of
my heart, according to the truth of that word: “Delight
thyself also in the Lord, and he shall give thee the desires
of thine heart.” Psalm xxxvii. 4.
I saw again, while at Sandersleben, a brother to whom
I alluded in the first part of this Narrative, and whom I
saw while I was on the Continent in April 1835, who
makes no progress in the ways of God, and who indeed
now seems to be more lifeless and cold than ever. The
reason is that still, against his conscience, he remains in
a business which he knows and allows to be contrary to
the mind of God. -
Feb. 29. This morning I left Sandersleben. Towards
the evening I reached Halberstadt, the town where I was
from Easter 1816 to June 1821, at the Cathedral Classical
School. I went to a certain small inn, known to me from
the time that I lived at Halberstadt, both for the sake of
quietness and to save expense, as I knew it to be more like
a private boarding-house than an inn. After having had
my supper, the innkeeper, who seemed to me a quiet and
unassuming person, came into the room where I was, and
began conversation with me. After a few moments I
recognized in him a former schoolfellow of mine. The
Lord now enabled me to tell him of my gay life, my con-
version, my subsequent going to England, and of some of
the Lord's dealings with me there. He listened with
great attention, and was evidently affected by what I said.
May the Lord bless to him my testimony for Jesus ! I
was thus afresh reminded of what grace has done for me.
How kind of the Lord to direct me to that place!
March 1. This morning I saw an old friend of mine, a
missionary to the Jews at Halberstadt. When first he went
there he held meetings, which the few Christians of the
town attended; but of late he has been obliged by the
322 [A.D. 1840.
police to give them up. In that town of about 15,000
inhabitants, with, I think, seven large Protestant churches,
there is not one converted clergyman, as this brother told
me; and the few Christians that are there are not per-
mitted to assemble themselves together. Brethren, you
who live in Great Britain, be thankful for your religious
liberty, and make use of it while the days of outward
peace last !—About twelve this morning I left by the mail
for Brunswick. The Lord enabled me to preach Christ
to a young man, a painter, who for the sake of improve-
ment in his art had travelled far and wide, and was now
returning home from Vienna to his parents. He listened
very attentively, in which I had a fresh proof that one
never ought to look at natural appearances in proclaiming
the truth; for Ijudged, before I began to speak to him,
from his gay appearance, that he would quite laugh at
what I might tell him about Jesus.—I saw again this
afternoon at Wolfenbuttel the inn from whence I ran
away, when in debt, in the year 1821, and praised the
Lord for his goodness to me since that time. Now, this
evening, I am at Brunswick, and shall have again, through
the Lord’s kindness, rest during the night, as the mail
does not leave for Hamburg until nine to-morrow morning.
March 8. London. I left Brunswick on the 2nd, and
arrived at Hamburg in 24 hours. As there was ice in
the Elbe, the London steamer could not get up to Ham-
burg, and I had therefore to go alone, in a hired carriage,
to Cuxhaven, about eighty miles, the most expensive
journey that ever I made in my life, for it cost above
31. 10s. Thus I had to travel three days and two nights,
with the interruption of only five hours at Hamburg. I
reached Cuxhaven at half-past eight in the evening on
March 4th.-The fact of having thus to travel from Ham-
burg to Cuxhaven, that being the only way in which I
could have got there in my circumstances, without losing
the steamer, showed me afresh how one is step by step
cast upon the Lord. A month since the Elbe was cleared
of ice, and now, contrary to the expectation of all, the
cold had returned to such a degree, that it was a second
time innavigable.
March 5. Iembarked this morning for London. I had
conversation with two Russian Jews, who listened with
great interest to all I said to them; but I did not tell
A.D. 1840.] 323.
them plainly that I believed Jesus of Nazareth to be the
Messiah, as I fully purposed to do at the next conversa-
tion. After I had left them, they conversed with each
other, and I could see from their countenances, that they
either took me for a baptized Jew, or for a missionary to
the Jews, on account of the peculiar way in which I had
conversed with them. Presently one of them came and
asked me what I thought of that Jesus. No sooner had
I owned him as the true Messiah and as my Lord and my
God, than he began to blaspheme; and from that time,
as long as we were on board, they shunned me; and I
also felt that all I had to do was to show kindness to them
by actions, but no more to converse with them about the
Messiah, in order to keep them from blaspheming that
holy name which is dear to my heart. My conversation
with them had, however, an unexpected effect in another
way. At the dinner table I was asked by one of the pas-
sengers about those Jews, who they were, etc., as my long
conversation with them on the deck had been noticed.
This led me, (in order that the conversation might be
turned to profitable subjects, and that I might discover
whether there was a Christian at the table), to throw out
the remark, “how remarkable it is that the Jews, in all
parts of the world, can be recognized as such ; and are
not mixed with other nations,” etc. Immediately the
captain replied, “this can only be explained by the Scrip-
tures, and shows the Bible to be true,” or something to
that effect. I now, in agreeing with the captain, followed
up the subject, and both after dinner and repeatedly
during the passage had long and most interesting conver-
sations with the captain, whom I found to be a true
brother in the Lord, and from whom I separated most
affectionately on our arrival in London.
On March 7th I landed in London, where I found two
letters from my dear wife, from which I saw that up to
the last the Lord had been dealing with her, as well as
with me, in the greatest kindness, and had given also
an abundance for the Orphans during the whole time of
my absence.
March 9. I left London this morning, arrived this
evening in peace in Bristol, and found my dearest Mary
and all in peace. Truly, the Lord has abundantly blessed
me and them while I have been from home !
324 . [A.D. 1840.
During the whole time of my absence the Lord not
only supplied all the need of the Orphans, but on my
return I found more in hand than there was when I left.
The donations, which came in during my absence, amount
to between 80l. and 90l.
March 11. To-day I received 191. 19s., being a legacy
left to me by a brother who fell asleep the beginning of
last December. How richly does the Lord supply all my
own temporal necessities'
March 22. To-day when there was not a penny in hand
for the Orphans, I received the following donations: 3!.
as the produce of the sale of ladies’ baskets, an old crown
piece, an old half-crown piece, and a Spanish dollar. Also
ls. With Eccles. ix. 10, was given 21. 10s.
March 23. To-day came in still further 17, 2s. 6d.
March 25. All money was now again given out, when
to-day came in by the sale of Reports 8s. 9d., and in small
donations 11. 5s. 11d.
March 26. On the 17th of this month I received the
following letter, from a brother who several times had
been used by the Lord as an instrument in supplying our
need, and who also two months since sent 30l.
“I have received a little money from Have you
any present need for the Institution under your care P I
know you do not ask, except indeed of him whose work
you are doing; but to answer when asked seems another
thing, and a right thing. I have a reason for desiring to
know the present state of your means towards the objects
you are labouring to serve : viz. should you not have need,
other departments of the Lord's work or other people of
the Lord may have need. Kindly then inform me, and to
what amount, i. e. what amount you at this present time
need, or can profitably lay out.”
At the time when this letter came we were indeed in
need, or at least it was desirable, as far as I had light, to
have means, as I was just on the point of establishing an
Infant-School, and as again some sorts of Bibles were
needed in order to go on with the circulation of the
Scriptures. Also, in the Orphan-Fund there was only
2s. 3; d. Nevertheless I considered that, as I have hitherto
acted, (i. e. telling the Lord alone about our need), I
ought to continue to do, as otherwise the principal object
of the work, to be a help to the saints generally, by seek-
A.D. 1840.] 325
ing to lead them to increased dependance upon God alone,
through this Institution, would be frustrated. I answered
therefore the letter in substance, as follows:
“Whilst I thank you for your love, and whilst I agree
with you, that, in general, there is a difference between
asking for money, and answering when asked, nevertheless
in our case I feel not at liberty to speak about the state
of our funds, as the primary object of the work in my
hands is, to lead those who are weak in faith to see that
there is reality in dealing with God alone.”
After having sent off the answer, I was again and again
led to pray to the Lord in this way: “Lord, thou know-
est that for thy sake I did not tell this brother about our
need. Now, Lord, show afresh that there is reality in
speaking to thee only about our need, and speak therefore
to this brother, so that he may help us.”
To-day, in answer to this my request, this brother sent
100l., of which sum I shall take 20l. for the Orphans,
and 201, for each of the other objects. Thus I have means
for establishing the Infant-School, and for ordering more
Bibles. Also the Orphans are again supplied for a week;
for when the money came in, there was not one penny in
hand for them.
April 7. This evening I received information from my
little half brother that my dear father died on March 30th.
He was taken worse a few days after I left him. How
kind of the Lord to have allowed me once more to see
him Had I gone to Germany at the time I first in-
tended, he would most likely not have been alive to see
me.—As I know not of one believer in the whole town
where he lived, I cannot for a certainty ascertain any
thing about his state before his death; but that which I
do know gives me no proof of his having died in the
faith of Christ. As to myself, I am sure of this, that it
becomes me to adore that wonderful grace which plucked
me as a brand out of the burning, and to say in reference
to my dear departed father: “Shall not the judge of all
the earth do right P’’ and in submission to the will of God
to be satisfied with his dealings. This, through grace, I
am able to do. Every true believer who has unconverted
parents, for whose spiritual welfare he is concerned, can
understand what joy it would have been to me to have
heard a satisfactory account of a true change of heart in
I: E
326 [A.D. 1840.
my dear father before his end ; but as it has been other-
wise, I know nevertheless that God will be eternally
glorified even in this dispensation. Turing no period did
I pray more frequently or more earnestly for the conver-
sion of my dear aged parent, than during the last year
of his life; but, at all events, it did not please the Lord
to let me see the answer to my prayers.
April 9. Through the 20!, which came in on March
26, and a number of smaller and larger donations since
then, we have had for the last twelve days more than
usual. But now to-day our means were again reduced to
7s. 10d., when the Lord sent in 5l. through a brother in
Bristol, who during this year also, as at former times, has
been the instrument in the hands of God of repeatedly
supplying our need when we were very poor.
We are on the point of sending some money to the
East Indies for Missionary objects. Whilst I was on my
Knees respecting this object, 57. was brought for it.
April 10. To-day came in still further for the Orphans,
with Eccles. ix. 10, 5l. ; also 2ſ.
April 19. For several months past it had appeared to
brother Craik and me, and to several other brethren who
help us in the work of caring for the saints, that a part
of the church meeting together at Gideon Chapel was a
hinderance to our giving that clear and distinct testimony
respecting the principles on which we meet, which we
desire to give to the world and to the church at large in
this city. As the Lord, however, had so abundantly
blessed our labours in that place, in the conversion of
sinners, and also in the building up of many saints, we
felt that we ought to act in this matter with the greatest
prayerfulness and consideration; and we had therefore
anany meetings for prayer and deliberation with several
brethren. On this account it was likewise, that though
we came as early as the 17th of January to the conclu-
sion that it would be better to relinquish Gideon as a
meeting place, we still deferred the matter for two months
and a half longer, before we even mentioned our diffi-
culties publicly. At last, on March 30th, we assembled
with all the saints, and brother Craik and I stated to them
our difficulties. The following is the substance of what
was stated at the meeting.
A.D. 1840.] 327
Brief statement of certain difficulties connected with our
continuing to retain the occupancy of Gideon Chapel,
Neufoundland Street, Bristol.
In order to enter into the force of the following parti-
culars, it is necessary to keep in mind the position which,
as a body of saints, we seem called upon to maintain, in
this city, before the church and the world. We meet
simply as believers in Christ, without reference to any
sectarian distinction, maintaining the Scripture as our
only rule of doctrine and discipline, and affording freedom
for the exercise of any spiritual gift which the Lord may
be pleased to bestow. We thus hold out a gathering
place for all who believe in the Lord Jesus, and desire to
confess his name, by obedience to his authority. What-
ever impedes us, in this our great work, can only be suf-
fered to continue if the Lord himself lays it upon us as a
burden or chastisement. Nothing but necessity can
justify our putting any obstacles in the way of the saints
in this city, who, feeling the obligation of separating from
every sectarian bond of union, would desire to meet
with us,
I.
1. There seems no sufficient reason for holding our
Lord’s day morning meetings, for the breaking of bread,
in two different places. See 1 Cor. xi. 20. The number
is not too large to assemble in one place, and the eatent of
locality is not so great as to prevent it, except in the case
of invalids or of very aged persons: and the disadvan-
tages of two meeting places are very serious. In this
way of meeting the gifts are needlessly divided, as the
gifted brethren are in two places instead of one ; discip-
line is rendered very difficult to be executed, as it can
scarcely be ascertained who absent themselves, etc.; and
impediments are thrown in the way of mutual intercourse
and acquaintance, as the saints sometimes go to the one
place, and sometimes to the other.
2. There are only four ways in which we can so arrange
as to assemble every Lord’s day morning, as a church, to-
gether. a, Bethesda may be given up, and the meeting
of the saints may be at Gideon. b, The meetings may
be alternately at each place. c, The meetings may be held

F F 2
328 [A.D. 1840.
at a third place intermediate, in respect of locality, be-
tween the two. d, Gideon may be given up, and Bethesda
alone become the place of meeting for breaking of bread.
—In regard to the first two of these four arrangements,
the size of Gideon puts a complete obstacle in the way,
as there would not be sufficient room, were the saints and
others, who would still attend, to meet together in that
place. The third plan appears to be freest from all
objections, could it be accomplished; but there is no one
other place to be obtained sufficiently large for our pur-
pose, and therefore, if it be granted that the profit of the
saints and the glory of Christ seem to require our having
one gathering place, till the numbers of the saints and
the extent of locality on which they reside shall force us
to have more than one: the only way in which, for the
present, this can be accomplished is by our relinquishing
Gideon, and having Bethesda as our only place of
meeting.”
II.
But the above are not the only reasons why we should
no longer continue to retain Gideon as a meeting place
for the church.—We have reason to believe that several
of our dear brethren, who have been in the habit of
assembling there for worship, do not see with us in re-
ference to the great leading principles on which we pro-
fessedly meet. Ever since the removal of any restraint
upon the exercise of whatever gift the Spirit may bestow,
in connexion with the practice of weekly communion at
Gideon, there has been dissatisfaction on the part of some.
A few have left and gone to other places, some have been
in the habit of remaining only as long as there is teach-
ing or exhortation, and then leaving without breaking
bread. We have reason to believe that several do not, in
heart, acknowledge us as taught of God in regard to the
changes, which we have introduced; or, if they feel un-
willing to say so, yet they are inclined to retain their old
way. Now, spiritual rule can only be continued over
* We continued for many months to break bread only at Bethesda,
till at last, though it is a large chapel, the body of it was no longer
large enough to accommodate all who were in communion with us, so
that we were obliged to have the Lord's supper in two places. [Note
to the second edition.]
A.D. 1840.] 329
those who yield willing subjection: an unwilling submis-
sion on the part of those who are in the place “ of the
ruled,” we deem no true subjection at all. Therefore,
those who do not believe that matters are conducted
amongst us in a Scriptural way, cannot comfortably con-
tinue in fellowship with us: and, by yielding up to them
the use of the Chapel, we take away all just cause of
complaint.—On account of these reasons there would be
no need of leaving a meeting place under other cir-
cumstances ; but as, when brother Craik and I came to
Gideon Chapel, we found saints there assembled together
in fellowship who had contributed towards the purchasing
and fitting up of the Chapel, and who had been in the
habit of meeting together on different principles, it seems
not Christlike either to force our light upon them, or to
constrain them to leave us; but to give up the Chapel to
them, as they do not, in heart, go along with us.—It can-
not be expected that, for the sake of pleasing even those
whom we love in Christ, we should shrink back from
carrying out any truth which the Lord may lead us into ;
and, therefore, if our brethren cannot heartily go along
with us, it is better that nothing should be imposed upon
them contrary to their convictions.—If it should be said
that for the sake of a few we thus separate from many :
our reply is, that we separate from none of the saints;
we only withdraw from a building, because it appears to
us a hinderance to the manifesting of the truth, and, at the
same time hold out a gathering place for all who feel that
it would be for the edification of their souls, and the glory
of God, that they should continue to meet with us. We
invite all those who conscientiously can submit to the
order which obtains amongst us, to continue in fellowship
with us; and we purpose to provide a place of meeting
to suit the convenience of the feeble and aged who would
feel the distance of Bethesda to be an obstacle to their
meeting habitually with the saints there.
III.
But in addition to those already mentioned, there are a
third class of difficulties connected with retaining Gideon.
The present character of the meeting for the breaking of
bread there, is very far from fully exhibiting the principles
on which we meet together. Unbelievers sitting among
F F 3
330 [A.D. 1840.
the saints, hinders our appearing to meet for the breaking
of bread, and renders it necessary that a disturbing pause
should intervene between the act of breaking bread and
the other part of the meeting. We cannot have the
breaking of bread at the commencement of the meeting,
because of the confusion occasioned by the intermixture
of those who are not in fellowship with us. To alter this,
and to request all who are not in fellowship with us (ex-
cept those belonging to the families of the saints) to sit
by themselves, as is the case at Bethesda, would, we fear,
produce increased dissatisfaction. Such a request more-
over would not be Christlike, as long as from the con-
struction of the building no comfortable sittings were
reserved for any besides the saints themselves. Thus, by
retaining Gideon, we are under the necessity of either
marring our testimony to the church at large, or of deep-
ening the dissatisfaction prevalent among several who are
already in fellowship with us.-Again, the very construc-
tion of the place renders it unsuitable for a meeting of
saints. Part of the sittings being pews, necessarily
tends to give the appearance of a distinction between the
very poor and the more respectable class. This distinction
would need to be done away, and we have every reason to
fear that some might feel personally aggrieved by the pews
being taken away and replaced with benches. We have
only of late understood that some of the pews are looked
upon as private property. This is such a violation of the
statement that the sittings are all free, that it could no
longer be permitted. To require these unscriptural prac-
tices to be renounced, we have reason to apprehend, would
be considered as an arbitrary act of rule, and might alien-
ate the minds of those of our dear brethren who are still,
in heart, attached to that to which they have been accus-
tomed in former years.
If it can be shown that the above difficulties are capable
of being removed, or that any greater evil would attend
the yielding up of Gideon than the evils which necessarily
accompany our retaining it, then we are bound not to
give it up. But, according to our present light, we see
no way of reconciling the two objects, viz.: the retaining
of Gideon, and the exhibiting a full, unhindered testimony
to the truth of God. We repeat it, that we do not sepa-
rate from any single individual in fellowship with us, we
A.D. 1840.] 331
only leave the walls of a building, and invite those who
feel called upon to separate from every sectarian system,
and to meet where free ewercise is afforded for every
spiritual gift, to assemble with us at Bethesda.
In the case of those who are in ordinary health, the
inconvenience attending the locality of Bethesda is a
matter of very little consequence. Half an hour's earlier
rising on the morning of the Lord's day, would be suffi-
cient, in most cases, fully to meet the difficulty; and the
consciousness, that the glory of Jesus and the true wel-
fare of his church were thereby promoted, would far more
than compensate for the amount of self-denial which the
inconvenience arising from the distance would impose.—
In reference to the weak, the sickly, and the very aged,
who reside in the neighbourhood of Gideon, we trust, in
the strength of the Lord, to make such ample provision
for their comfort on the Lord’s day, that they may have
no reason to regret that Gideon has been relinquished.
Lastly, as it regards the opportunities which will be lost,
by giving up Gideon, of proclaiming the truth among
believers, as well as preaching the gospel to the world, we
intend, according to our ability and the measure of gift
amongst us, to open places for those purposes in different
parts of the city.
After we had fully stated our minds respecting our
difficulties in continuing to meet as a church, at Gideon
Chapel, we were still quite willing to continue to occupy
it as a preaching place, provided the brethren whose pro-
perty the Chapel was, (because of their having contributed
towards the purchase and fitting up of the building,)
were perfectly satisfied with our doing so. If this had
been the case, all the difference would have been, that on
Ilord’s day mornings Gideon Chapel would have been
shut, and all the church would have met at Bethesda; but
we should have been willing not only to preach at Gideon
On the Lord’s day evenings, and once or twice in the
week, but also on the Lord’s day afternoons instead of
the morning meeting: so that even the unconverted, or
the believers of that neighbourhood, who are not in com-
munion with us, should have been no losers.--Whilst
nothing was stated by any one, that showed us we had
been mistaken in the conclusion to which we had come, a
332 [A.D. 1840.
point was mentioned which soon brought the matter to a
final decision. It was said that the giving up one of the
principal meetings on the Lord’s day would be against
the spirit of the trust deeds, as the Chapel was particu-
larly intended to be a preaching place. Now, though we
did not see it to be thus, as we meant to preach the word,
as before, at Gideon, if it could be done in perfect har-
mony with the owners of it; yet it seemed beyond a
question that we could not retain the Chapel, whilst we
appeared, even in the least, to alienate the property from
the use for which it was said to have been intended. We,
therefore, were confirmed by this in our conclusion to give
up the Chapel at once, and that entirely. [In order that
the aged and infirm, and invalids who live in the neighbour-
hood of Gideon might not be losers by the change, cars
were provided, at the expense of the church, to convey
them to the meeting for the breaking of bread at Bethesda;
and a Chapel was rented in Callow-hill Street, near
Gideon, in which, on the Lord's day and Thursday even-
ings the word was ministered. It was very kind of the
Lord to order it so that this chapel was at once to be
had Two years and a half afterwards, in October, 1842,
we rented a still more suitable Chapel, in the heart of the
City. On April 19th, 1840, we preached for the last
time at Gideon, after having laboured there, with abun-
dant blessing, for about eight years. Only three saints,
as far as I know, out of about 250 who used to meet with
us at Gideon, remained there. Nor has the Lord ceased
to bless our labours since we left.]
April 27. Monday. The Lord knew that we were
penniless, and should be in need of fresh supplies to-day
for the Orphans, therefore he moved the hearts of some of
his children to remember us, in answer to our prayer.
Yesterday I received with Eccles. ix. 10, 5l., and 10s.
from a sister who had lent this sum to some one, but never
expected it again; and now, having unexpectedly received
it, gave it to the Lord for the Orphans. 1. 10s. was
given for the rent of the Orphan-Houses. There was
2s. 6d. put anonymously into the box at Bethesda, and
also 17, anonymously with these words: “From one who
loves little children, and whom the Lord has blessed
while filling for many years the duties of a servant.”
This morning I was informed that 5l. had been sent to
A.D. 1840.] 333
the Infant-Orphan-House by a sister who does not wish
her name to be known. Thus the Lord has given for our
need 131. 2s. 6d. There was also sent a dozen pen-wipers
for sale.
Tet us pause here a few moments, beloved reader | Let
us adore the Lord's kindness I See how seasonably the
Lord sends the help. As our need is, so he remembers
us. It is not now and then that he is mindful of us, but
continually. As surely as we stand in need of anything,
he sends it; be it money, provisions, clothes, or anything
else. We may be allowed to be poor, yea, very poor; we
may have to pray again and again to our Father before the
answer comes; we may be reduced so as to have from
meal to meal to wait upon him; yea, according to all out-
ward appearance, the Lord may seem to have forgotten
us:—but, amidst it all, as surely as we really need any
thing, in his own time and way does he send help. Perhaps
you may say: “But how would you do, in case there were
a mealtime to come and you had no provisions for the
children, or they really wanted clothes, and you had no
money to procure them P’’ Our answer is, such a thing
is impossible as long as the Lord shall give us grace to
trust in him, (for “whosoever believeth on him shall not
be ashamed,”) and as long as he shall enable us to carry
on the work in uprightness of heart. But should we be
ever so left to ourselves as to forsake the Lord and trust
in an arm of flesh, or should we regard iniquity in our
heart, i. e. wilfully and habitually do any thing, either in
connexion with the work or otherwise, which is against
the will of God, then we may pray and utter many words
before him, but he will not hear us, as it is written: “If
I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me.”
Psalm lxvi. 18. I, therefore, beseech all who love our
Lord Jesus and who may read this, to entreat him on be-
half of all of us who are engaged in this work, that he
would be pleased to continue to give us faith, and that he
would keep us from living in sin.
May 2. Nothing having come in for five days, we were
to-day again penniless. In answer to prayer 5s. 6d. came
in, and some trinkets were sent, the names of which the
donor does not wish to be known. Thus we were helped
through this day.—Observe here, how the Lord allowed
five days to pass away without influencing the hearts of
334 [A.D. 1840.
any to send us supplies; but the moment there is real
need, the stream runs again.
May 3. To-day the Lord sent in again some money for
the Orphans. He knew we were penniless, and therefore
answered our requests. Besides 17, 10s. for rent, there
came in 11.1s. from London, and 27. from the Isle of Wight.
May 4. By what came in yesterday, we were supplied
for to-day; but the Lord sent to-day still more, as that
which came in yesterday was only enough for to-day.
There was given in money 7!., of which 31. was the profit
of the sale of ladies’ baskets, which are made by some
sisters in the Lord, for the benefit of the Orphans.
Last evening a brother was baptized, who on the first
Lord's day of this year came with his intended wife to
Bethesda Chapel. Both were in an unconverted state.
They both were, at the same meeting, through what bro-
ther Craik said, made to feel the power of the truth, and,
in consequence, were led to Jesus and found peace in him,
and are now both in communion with us.--The Lord still
condescends to use us as instruments. To-day we con-
versed with seven persons about fellowship, and had to
send away five, being worn out after we had seen the
seven one after the other. Only since April 1st, forty-one
persons have come to us to speak about their souls. May
the Lord in mercy give us helpers in the work, for truly
the harvest is great ; and may not our ingratitude for his
abundant blessing upon our labours oblige him to shut
up his hands from continuing to use us.'
May 6. This evening I received 101, for the Orphans,
and 10l. for the Infant-School, which we are on the point
of opening. Before our little stock is quite exhausted,
(for there is yet 21, left for the Orphans) the Lord has
thus kindly sent a fresh supply. Thus also my prayer is
answered in being able to give to two of the sisters in the
Orphan-Houses some money for their personal expenses.
May 8. There are four believers staying at my house,
and to-day we had only a few shillings of our own money
left. I gave myself, therefore, to prayer for means for
our own personal expenses. In answer to my request, I
received this morning 5l.
May 10. To-day five of the Orphans were received into
fellowship and baptized. There are now fourteen of them
in fellowship.
A.D. 1840.] 335
May 16. The need of to-day, as we were again penni-
less, led us to open the boxes in the Orphan-Houses, in
which 27. Os. 2d. was found. There was given 5s. besides.
In the evening came in still further a sovereign from a
sister, a servant, with the following lines: “The Lord has
put it into my heart to send a sovereign to the Orphans.
Ełe indeed put it into my heart, which was once at enmity
with God, and would have said, lay it by, you may want
Čt when you are old; but then I could not look towards
heaven and say, I know my heavenly father will supply
all my need; neither could I say, ‘Abba, Father,’ for I
knew him not.”
May 17. To-day the Lord has sent a little more, so
that we have enough to meet the demands of to-morrow.
There came in altogether 31. 9s. 6d.
May 22. Several small donations enabled us to supply
the necessities of the last four days. When this day
commenced, however, there was again not a penny in
hand. But my eyes were directed to the Lord, and there-
fore my heart was at peace; I was fully assured that he
would help this day also. About eleven I was informed
that there was 19s. 3d. in hand, being the produce of the
boys' knitting, and that also some old clothes, given for
sale, had been sold for 3s.6d., and one Report besides for
3d. To this one of the labourers added 4s. of his own,
and gave a book besides for sale. Thus we had 11. 7s.,
which was enough to meet the demands of this day.
May 25. By the sale of 166 little books which had
been given to be disposed of, by a few shillings which
came in for the children’s needlework, by 4s. which had
been taken out of the boxes in the Orphan-Houses, by a
little money given by one of the labourers, by 10s, which
came anonymously in a letter, and by the sale of some
Beports—we were able to meet the demands since the
22nd. To-day there was 11.2s. 8d., left in hand, but this
was not quite enough for the need of the day. In the
afternoon came in for needlework 11s. 6d., and there was
5s. left at the Infant-Orphan-House. Thus we had
enough, and a few shillings left for to-morrow.
May 26. Nothing had come in. My engagements
kept me from going to the Orphan-Houses till seven in
the evening, when the labourers met together for prayer.
When we met I found that one of them had given 17s.,
336 [A.D. 1840.
which had been divided between the three houses. This,
with the little which had been left yesterday, had procured
all necessary articles. We are now very poor.
May 27. We met for prayer, at eleven this morning.
No money had come in, but there was enough for dinner
in all the houses. This morning the LAST COALs were
used in the Infant-Orphan-House, and in the Boys'-
Orphan-House there were ONLY ENou GH For To-DAY, and
there was no money in hand to buy more. In this our
meed T. P. C. sent a load of coals. How kind of the Lord!
A plain proof that not in displeasure, but only for the
trial of our faith we are allowed to be so poor.—We pur-
pose to meet again at four this afternoon. May the Lord
graciously be pleased to send help in the mean time !
JEvening. The Lord has had mercy! A person bought
some days since several articles, which had been given to
be sold for the benefit of the Orphans, and owed 6l. 15s.
This morning I asked the Lord to incline his heart to
bring the money, or a part of it, as we were in such need.
Just as I was going to meet for prayer with my fellow-
labourers this afternoon, he came and brought 4l. But
our kind Father showed us still further to-day, that only
for the trial of our faith he had for a season withheld
supplies; for there was given this evening with Eccles. ix.
10, 5l. There came in also 9s. for articles which had
been put into the hand of a sister, who has taken on her
the service of disposing of articles which are given for
sale. Besides this, there were sent two boxes of new
clothes, and some materials for clothes, from sisters in the
Lord, residing in Dublin, which articles are worth several
pounds. Thus the day, which had begun with prayer,
ended in praise. But there is one thing more to be re-
corded respecting this day, as precious or more so than
what has been said: I was to-day informed that the Lord
has begun to stir up several of the boys to care about
their souls.-
May 28. The Lord has kindly sent in further supplies.
A clergyman gave 21.5 and 5s. came in for Reports.
May 29. To-day has come in still further 11. 3s. 2d.,
and several trinkets which were sent from Barnstaple.
May 30. I took 11, out of the box in my house.
May 31. When there was again not a penny in hand,
the Lord sent in 21, 2s.
A.D. 1840.] 337
June 6. This is Saturday. Several pounds were needed,
as usual, for the Orphans; but there was not a penny in
hand. In this our great need F. W., who often has been
instrumental in supplying our need, and who lives many
miles from Bristol, sent 5l. There came in 5s. besides.
Thus we are helped to the close of one more week, in
which our faith has been repeatedly tried. In the even-
ing came in further, by sale of articles, 27., and a dona-
tion of 10s.
June 7. Lord's day. To-day came in 77. 1s. 3d., to
enable us to meet the necessities of to-morrow.
June 8. This evening eight German missionary bre-
thren and sisters, whom I have been for some time expect-
ing, arrived in Bristol, on their way to the East Indies.
June 9. Again, when only 2s. 8d. was in hand for the
Orphans, there came in from a considerable distance 2!.
June 10 and 11. These two days came in 17. 0s. 4d.,
which was enough, with the little which had been left, to
procure what was needed.
June 12. When there was nothing in hand, several
articles of gentlemen’s clothing, all worn, were sent for
sale, which, being disposed of for 11, 17s., we were helped
through this day.
June 13. To-day’s need was met by a box of clothes
coming from Worcester, which contained also 3!, 0s. 2d.
There was also lls. taken out of the box in my house.
June 15. 27. 5s. 3d. came in yesterday and to-day, by
wbich we were able to meet the necessary demands, and
have 5s. left,
June 16. Some articles were sold for 11s., which had
been given for sale. This, with the remaining 5s., met
the necessities of the day.
June 17. Only 4s. has come in by children's needle-
work. This is all we have, to meet the need of to-day,
except 2s. 6d., which I found in the box in my house,
which our poverty led me to open. Evening. The Lord
has had mercy upon us. A sister, to whom some time
since some money was left, and whom the Lord has made
willing to lay it all out in his service, having received a
small part of what is coming to her, brought 5l. 10s. 6d.
of it, this afternoon, for the Orphans. There came in still
further this evening 21. - -
For several days past I had been very poor in reference
G. G.
338 [A.D. 1840.
to my own temporal necessities, as well as in reference to
the Orphans. To-day we were especially poor, in both
respects; but our kind Father remembered not merely
the need of the dear Orphans, but gave me also some
money for my own personal expenses. The same sister
just referred to, who brought 5l. 10s. 6d. for the Orphans,
brought me also 71. for myself.
June 18. To-day a new coat and waistcoat were given
to me, for which I had repeatedly asked the Lord, as my
clothes are now very old. As surely as I really need any
thing, be it in money, or in any other way, my kind
Father supplies the need.
June 19. The Lord has poured in still more abun-
dantly to-day. A brother gave me 10l. for myself. Thus,
after a season of more than usual poverty, the Lord sends
a more than usual supply. How kind a master do I serve!
June 21. Again, when there was not one penny in
hand, came in to-day 6l. 10s. for the Orphans.
June 22. To-morrow, the Lord willing, I purpose,
with my wife, to accompany the three German brethren
and the five German sisters to Liverpool, who purpose to
sail from thence. Under these circumstances it is de-
sirable to leave at least a little money behind. This desire
of my heart the Lord has granted; for this morning D. C.
gave me 5l., and there came in by sale of articles 10s. 5d.
In the evening a sister, who has left Bristol to-day, sent
me by her mother 5l., having particularly requested her
to let me have the money to-day, as she knew that I was
going away to-morrow.
This evening we had an especial Missionary prayer
meeting, at which the brethren and sisters were com-
mended to the Lord.
June 23. This morning we left for Liverpool, where
we safely arrived in the evening.
The following extracts give the account of the Lord’s
goodness in supplying the necessities of the Orphans
while I was away from Bristol.
On June 25, whilst at Liverpool, I received a letter
from brother R. B., master at the Boys'-Orphan-House,
dated Bristol, June 24th, in which he writes thus:–The
money which you left behind, with 1s. 6d. which came in
for Reports, supplied the necessities of yesterday and to-
day; but there is nothing in hand to meet the necessities
A.D. 1840.] 339
of to-morrow. Our hope is in God, assuredly believing
that he will, as in former times, help us in his own time
and manner.”—
Two days afterwards the following letter came.
“Bristol, June 26, 1840.
“Dear Brother, Since I wrote to you we have very
sweetly proved the mercy and truth of our heavenly
JFather. When my letter left Bristol, we had not one
penny in hand. On the same evening sister gave
me a parcel containing 17. 1s., the produce of the sale of
an article. This was sufficient for yesterday. But after
this we were again pennyless. I went to the meeting in
the evening, where brother J. B. gave me a list of names
of persons who had given to him for the Orphans, to the
amount of 11.4s. 1d. I afterwards sold one of your books,
one of brother Craik's Renderings, and a Report. I also
remembered that a few days before 2s. 6d. had been given
to me which I had forgotten to use. We therefore had in
all 17, 11s. 7d., which is sufficient to meet this day's
necessities. I have just received a sovereign for the Or-
phans, and besides this a box, containing various articles
of clothes which has been sent from Wales, part of which
articles are only fit for sale. Thus we have something
for to-morrow, if needed.
“Your affectionate brother,
“IR. B.”
The arrival of the box of clothes, etc., was announced
to me in an affectionate letter from a brother in Wales,
who sent them, but whom I do not know personally.
What follows will show how seasonably the donation
Carſle.
On June 30th I received another letter from brother
B., dated Bristol, June 29th, 1840, in which he writes:
—“I would have posted my letter by one o'clock, but
delayed until it was too late, hoping that I might have
to speak of the Lord’s goodness as well as of our poverty.
Thank God, my hopes have been realized!—Besides the
17. mentioned in my last letter, in the evening of the 26th
11s. 3d. came in for needlework, and 5s. was given. On
Saturday I sold some of the clothes which had been sent
from Wales for Il., and 5s. was given to me for an article
which had been sold some time ago. As this was scarcely
G G 2
340 [A.D. 1840.
sufficient, I opened the boxes, and found 3s. 2d. in them.
The whole, therefore, which was in hand amounted to
3l. 4s. 5d., which was enough for Saturday the 27th.
This morning, Monday, as nothing had been given to me
since Saturday, there were no means to provide for the
dinner in the Boys'-Orphan-House; but one of the sis-
ters, having a little money of her own, purchased potatoes
and meat with it. At eleven o’clock we met for prayer.
The baker came to the Infant-Orphan-House, but no
bread was taken. A brother left two quarterns of bread
at the Boys'-Orphan-House as a gift. Soon after I re-
ceived 17, through sister L.G., which, as soon as I received,
I began to write to you. It was a comfort to me, in our
poverty, that you still, united in spirit, prayed with us,
although distance separated us in body. I do not know
that I ever felt more powerfully the kindness of our
Heavenly Father, than when I received this last-mentioned
11. Although we are still poor, and soon shall be again
in need, yet, receiving it just at this time, it was very
refreshing.”
The next day I received the following report about the
Orphan-Houses from brother B., dated June 30th.-Ac-
cording to your request, to-morrow only is the time for
me to write, but as the Lord has dealt very bountifully
with us, I write to-day, in order that you may be refreshed
by the account thereof. Yesterday afternoon, I received
16s, and this morning I sold some more of the articles
sent from Wales, for 8s. 6d., which meets this day’s
demands.”
On July 2nd I accompanied the eight German brethren
and sisters to the vessel. Just before they went on board,
|brother , one of the missionary brethren, gave me
6l. 10s. for the Orphans. He had sold his plate while at
Bristol, considering that as a servant of Jesus Christ, and
as one who desired to preach Jesus to the poor Hindoos,
he needed it not. This money was the produce of it,
except about 21., which he had spent in purchasing a few
books. In giving it to me he said, “The money which
we have in the common stock, (being altogether 201. for
the eight,) is enough for us. For some months, while we
are on board we need no money at all, whilst you may lay
it out; and when we need more, the Lord will again
supply our need. The other brethren and sisters have no
A.D. 1840.] 341
money of their own, and I desire likewise to have none.
The Lord has laid the Orphans particularly on my heart,
and therefore you must not refuse to accept it.”—This
brother little knew how on that very day I had been
repeatedly asking the Lord for means. Truly, this was
one of the most remarkable ways of obtaining money, as
it came from a poor German missionary, who, in depend-
ance upon the Lord for his temporal supplies, went to the
East Indies. I sent off at once 5l. of this money to
Bristol. The next day, July 3, I received at Liverpool
the following letter from brother B., dated Bristol, July
2nd.—“Since I last wrote, we have still found that the
Lord is faithful to his word. May we never be unfaithful
towards him On Tuesday evening, June 30th, sister C.
brought 11s. 6d. for some articles she sold, and I had
received 1s. 6d. for Reports. This, with 8s. that had been
put into the boxes, met the absolute necessities of yester-
day, Wednesday. As nothing has been given since
Tuesday, we are, to-day, Thursday, very needy. I sold
the books I mentioned as being sent, with some others
which one of the sisters in the Orphan-houses gave of her
own, for 7s., which bought that which was needful for
dinner; but there is no money to take in bread nor milk
for one of the houses. We met for prayer. Our hope is
in God, trusting that he, who has so often helped us in
poverty, will still do so. If I write any more I shall be
too late to post this letter.”
[On my return to Bristol I found, which is not men-
tioned in the next letter, that the milk was purchased
with the money of one of the sisters in the Orphan-Houses.]
On July 4th I received the following letter from Bristol,
dated July 3rd.
“My dear Brother, The last account I sent you left
us in the greatest poverty. We had sufficient, it is true,
for the time then present; but there was no money to
take in bread with. In the afternoon there was an old
riding habit sent for the Orphans, which I sold this morn-
ing for 7s. I also sold a few books for 5s., two old silver
thimbles and a ring for 1s. 6d. ; besides this, 1s. 6d. was
sent for Reports; making in all 15s. This purchased
dinner for the three houses. At twelve o’clock we met
for prayer. We were indeed in great need. There was
no money either for bread or milk. The coals in all the
G G 3
342 [A.D. 1840.
three houses were used, and in every other respect the
stores were in a low state. We had really wanted nothing,
but there was scarcely any thing left. Well, while we
were in prayer to God, your letter came. One of the
sisters opened the door and received it, and after prayer
it was given to me. You will be able to conceive the
greatness of our joy, on opening it, and finding it to con-
tain 5l. I cannot express how much I felt. During the
trial I had been much comforted by the Lord's sending a
little token of his love every day. It just proved that he
was mindful of us in our poverty, and that, when his time
was come, he would send us an abundance. I think we
all felt your absence a little, although not cast down on
that account. Money is very precious to those who, like
us, so evidently see the HAND and HEART of our Heavenly
Father in bestowing it. The sisters send their love to you.
“Your affectionate brother,
“IR. B.”
On July 6th I received the following account from
Bristol, dated July 5th. “You are, I am sure, often
praying for us, and therefore see, in the help we receive,
God’s gracious answers to your prayers, and therefore you
will be refreshed by hearing the account of how matters
are with us. On Saturday there was again a little money
needed in the Girls'-Orphan-House, for butter and such
little articles; but I had none in hand, wherewith to supply
this need, until nearly tea time, when 5s. was given to me.
In the evening of the same day, at ten o’clock, 10s. was
sent through brother J. S. You will see that we are still
cast simply on God for the future, without anything to
depend on but himself; and on whom, or on what should
children depend, but on their most kind Father.”
On July 8th, whilst still detained in the Lord’s service
at Liverpool, I received from a brother 10l. for the
Orphans, which I sent off at once. On the same day,
after I had sent off the money, I received the following
letter from Bristol, dated July 7.
“The Lord is still pleased to keep us very low. Only
4s. 2d. in money has come in since last I wrote to you.
The 10s. I told you of, and this 4s. 2d., I divided among
the sisters. But as this was far from being sufficient,
and knowing that you had received 6l. 10s. and only sent
A.D. 1840.] 343
5l., I took out of the other funds 17.6s. 6d., being all that
I could spare, and divided it also. I would not have done
so, had it not been needful, and had it not appeared to
me that we were not going out of the path of obedience
in doing this. There was a sack of flour sent this
morning. We are still, we may say, in need, as even the
money, which I have divided, was not enough to purchase
every thing desirable to have.”
On July 11th, whilst at Worcester, I received the fol-
lowing letter, dated Bristol, July 9.
“After writing to you the last time, I got no more
money on that day, except 1s. The next day, Wednesday,
I received 2s. 6d., and took 2s. out of the box in the Boys'-
Orphan-House. Also a sister purchased a Bible, and out
of that money I took 3s.6d. to make up the 30s., to which
I alluded in my last letter. This carried us through the
day. In the evening of the same day I received 11s. 3d.
and 2s., which purchased meat for dinner; and the potatoes
in the boys' garden, being now fit for use, we had for
dinner. After the dinner was provided we received the
10l. from you, which enabled the sisters again to replenish
their stock. Out of the 10l. I kept the 30s., in case I
might need it on Saturday for the salaries of the masters
and governesses of the Day Schools. We felt the poverty
a little more, I think, on account of your absence, I
knew the Lord would help, but still I felt tried in some
measure. The Lord, by his grace, reproves our wayward-
ness towards him.”
When this letter arrived, there was sent to me, at the
same time, from Bristol, 5l. for the Orphans, which I sent
off at once. On July 17th I returned to Bristol.
I add a few more words respecting my stay at Liverpool.
—About October 1837 I sent some Bibles and 46 copies
of my Narrative to a brother in Upper Canada, who, in
dependance upon the Lord for temporal supplies, is
labouring as a missionary in that country. About eighteen
months afterwards I heard, that this box had not arrived.
I then wrote to the shipbroker at Liverpool, (who as
agent had to send it to America, and to whom I had paid
his commission and the freight), to make inquiry about
the box; but I received no answer. About a month
afterwards my letter was returned to me through the dead
letter office, and it was stated on the outside that the
344 [A.D. 1840.
individual had left Liverpool, and no one knew where he
was gone. Putting all these things together, I had now
full reason to think that the broker had never sent off the
box. My comfort, however, was, that though this poor
sinner had acted thus, yet the Lord, in his own place and
way, would use the Bibles and my Narratives. . Now,
almost immediately after my arrival in Liverpool, a
brother told me, that several persons wished to hear me
preach who had read my Narrative; and that he knew a
considerable number had been bought by a brother, a
bookseller, from pawnbrokers, and sold again; and that
some also had been ordered from London when there were
no more to be had otherwise. It was thus evident that
the ship-broker pawned these Narratives before he ab-
sconded; but the Lord used them as I had hoped. I
preached ten times in English and once in German whilst
at Tiverpool, and I know that several persons were
brought to hear me, through having read my Narrative.—
The German brethren preached twice in German, there
being several German vessels in the port, and a number
of German sugar refiners living at Liverpool. Liverpool
seems to me especially a place where a brother, who is
familiar with French and German, may find an abundance
of work among the German and French sailors, in the way
of preaching to them, and in the way of distributing
French and German Bibles and Tracts.-One of the
German missionary brethren found out a brother in the
Lord, a native of the same town in Prussia, from whence
he himself comes, who repeatedly met with us. This dear
sailor was the only believer in the vesselin which he was,
and has had to suffer much for the Lord’s sake.—When
the German brethren and sisters were going on board, I
engaged a fly for the purpose of taking all their small
luggage. When the man put the luggage into the fly, I
was struck by its having a hind boot, which I had never
seen before in any fly, which he opened, and into which
he put several carpet bags. There were seventeen pack-
ages altogether. When we arrived at the vessel it was
just on the point of going into the river, with several
other vessels, and there were crowds of people standing
at the docks. The flyman took out the luggage and was
on the point of leaving, when I asked him whether he had
taken out all the luggage, which I had not been able to
A.D. 1840.] 345
count, because of the pressure of people, and the rapidity
with which the packages were taken to the vessel. His
reply was, Yes. But all at once, by the good hand of
God, I remembered the hind boot, and I asked him to
open it. The man, somewhat confused, opened it, and in
it were five or six carpet bags. This thing showed me
afresh our entire dependance upon the Lord, step by step.
I was alone. The crowd was great. The vessel was on
the point of sailing: and all without my fault or the fault
of any one ; but it was so through unforeseen circum-
stances. One minute later, and the bags, in all human
probability, would have been lost. For when the brethren
had missed their luggage, it would have been too late;
for though I had marked the number of the fly when I
engaged it, yet that would have profited nothing, when
once the brethren were at sea. But the hand of God was
for good upon these his children, whose stock of linen was
only such as they would need. Such a circumstance
should teach one to make the very smallest affairs a sub-
ject of prayer, for instance, That all the luggage might be
safely taken out of a fly.
On July 10th my wife and I left Liverpool, where we
had experienced much kindness, for Worcester, where we
stayed a few days, and had again much love shown to us
by the saints there.
July 25. Since July 11th the Lord has kindly sent in
the supplies for the Orphans so, that we have had always
something coming in before the last which was in hand
was spent. Now, to-day, having payed out this morning
8l. 5s., again nothing was left in hand, when in the after-
noon 3!. came in by sale of articles.
July 26. Lord’s day. As I had no opportunity to-day
of preaching in our chapels (there being two brethren
ministering among us who are strangers in Bristol), I have
preached twice this evening in the open air. Precious as
this work is, yet I am sure it is not that to which I am
called for a constancy, as I have no strength of body for
it. But I have seen afresh this evening how greatly it is
needed. The second time I preached I took my stand in
a court, filled with poor people, almost every one of whom
were dirty, though it was the Lord's day evening. A
woman readily lent me a chair on which I stood, and could
thus be heard by the people in the houses behind and
346 [A.D. 1840.
before me, and on my right and left hand. Judging from
their dirty appearance, I should not suppose any of these
poor people had been any where to hear the Gospel
preached throughout the day. How plenteous is the
harvest, and how few are the labourers | Lord of the
harvest, send thou, in compassion to poor sinners, more
labourers into the harvest —How well a brother who has
some gift, and a measure of strength of lungs, might
employ a part of the Lord's days, or of other days, either
by reading the Scriptures from house to house to such
persons, and making some remarks on them ; or by stand-
ing up in a court and reading the Scriptures aloud and
speaking on them. It is very rare that one meets with
decided opposition on these occasions; at least I have
generally in such cases found far more readiness to listen,
than decidedly to oppose.
Aug. 1. A few days since a brother was staying with
me, on his way to his father, whom he had not seen for
above two years, and who was greatly opposed to him, on
account of the decided steps which his son had taken for
the Lord. Before this brother left, that precious promise
of our Lord was brought to my mind: “If two of you
shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall
ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in
heaven,” Matt. xviii. 19. Accordingly, I went to the
brother's room, and having agreed to pray about a kind
reception from his father, and the conversion of both
parents, we prayed together.—To-day this brother re-
turned. The Lord has answered already one part of the
prayer. The brother was most kindly received, contrary
to all natural expectation. May the Lord now help us
both to look for an answer to the other part of our prayerſ
There is nothing too hard for the Lord!
Since the publication of the last edition, the father of
this brother died. He lived above ten years after Aug. 1,
1840, until he was about 86 years of age, and as he con-
tinued a life of much sin and opposition to the truth, the
prospect with reference to his conversion became darker
and darker. But at last the Lord answered prayer. This
aged sinner was entirely changed, simply rested on the
Lord Jesus for the salvation of his soul, and became as
much attached to his believing son, as before he had been
opposed to him ; and wished to have him about him as
A.D. 1840.] 347
much as possible, that he might read the Holy Scriptures
to him and pray with him. Let this instance encourage
believers, who have unbelieving parents, to continue in
prayer for them.
Aug. 6. Yesterday I was led, by the sense of our
necessity, and the knowledge of the Father's heart, like
Elijah, to go again and again to him with my request for
help, as there was nothing in hand for the Orphans to
supply the necessities of to-day. Last evening, after the
meeting, a brother from Oxford gave me a sovereign for
the Orphans; by two other individuals was sent half-a-
crown; and by the sale of an article, which had been given
many weeks since, but was only disposed of to-day, came
in 5s. : thus, in all, the Lord sent again 11.7s.6d. This
morning I heard that 10s. was given yesterday to brother
B., so that we were able to meet the demands of to-day,
which are ll. 15s.
Aug. 7. As there was only 2s. 6d. in hand, I asked the
Lord repeatedly yesterday to send us what was needed
for to-day. When I came home last evening from the
meeting, 5l. was given to me, which Q. Q. had brought
while I was away, to be used as I thought well. This I
took for the Orphans, which will supply our need for to-
day and to-morrow.
Aug. 8. Saturday. This evening I was meditating on
the 4th Psalm. The words in verse 3: “But know that
the Lord has set apart him that is godly for himself; the
Lord will hear when I call upon him,” I was enabled to
apply to myself, and they led me to prayer for spiritual
blessings. Whilst in prayer, the need of the Orphans
(there being now again not one penny in hand), was also
brought to my mind, and I asked the Lord respecting this
likewise. ABOUT FIVE MINUTES AFTERWARDS I was in-
formed that a sister wished to see me. She brought 11.10s.
for the Orphans. Thus the Lord has already kindly sent
a little to begin the week with. There was also still further
given to-day, 1s. 11d. ; and 5s. 1d. was taken out of the
boxes in the Orphan-Houses.
Aug. 10. Monday. The 17, 17s., which came in on
Saturday evening for the Orphans, was not enough for the
necessities of to-day, as 21. 15s. was required. About
noon, the Lord gave through a brother in Bath, who has
a relative in one of the Orphan-Houses, 11. 10s. more, so
348 [A.D. 1840.
that we had enough, and a few shillings left. This evening
came in 4s. besides, also 15s. 6d. by sale of articles.
Aug. 11. The money which was in hand, with 3s.
which was given by one of the labourers, as there was not
enough otherwise, helped us through this day.
Aug. 12. One of the labourers gave to-day 10s. of his
own, as nothing had come in. Yet this would not have
been sufficient, had there not been sold two pairs of
stockings, which had been knitted by the boys, for 4s. 1d.,
and had not 5s. been found in one of the boxes.
Aug. 13. Yesterday there was given a collection of
shells, which was sold to-day, and supplied the necessities
of this day, with an addition of 10s. which a brother gave
last evening, and 4s. which was taken out of the box in
the Infant-Orphan-House.
Aug. 14. There was nothing at all in hand. I opened
the box in my house, and found 1s. 4d. in it. A labourer
gave 4s. of his own. There was found 1s. 6d. in the boxes
in the Orphan-Houses, and 5s. came in by the sale of a
few articles which had been given for that purpose. By
this 11s. 10d. we were able to meet the absolute need,
but were able to take in only a small quantity of bread.
Aug. 15. There was to-day the greatest poverty in all
the three houses; all the stores were very low, as the in-
come throughout the week had been so small. In addition
to this it was Saturday, when the wants are nearly double
in comparison with other days. At least 3!. was needed
to help us comfortably through the day; but there was
nothing towards this in hand. My only hope was in God.
The very necessity led me to expect help for this day; for
if none had come, the Lord's name would have been dis-
honoured. Between twelve and one two sisters in the
TIOrd called on me, and the one gave me 27., and the other
7s.6d. for the Orphans. With this I went to the Boys'-
Orphan-House about one o’clock, where I found the
children at dinner. Brother B. put the following note
into my hand, which he was just going to send off:
“Dear Brother, With potatoes from the children’s
garden, and with apples from the tree in the play-ground
(which apples were used for apple dumplings), and 4s. 6d.
the price of some articles given by one of the labourers,
we have a dinner. There is much needed. But the Lord
has provided and will provide.”
A.D. 1840.] 349
There came in still further this day by sale of Reports,
1s., by the box in the Girls'-Orphan-House, 1s., by chil-
dren’s needlework, 6s. 6d., by a donation of one of the
sisters in the Orphan-Houses, 6s. Thus we had this day
3!. 6s. 6d. to meet all necessities, and are brought to the
close of another week.
Aug. 16. Lord's day. There came in still further last
evening, 3s. by sale of some articles, and to-day 2s. was
given, and 5l. ; so that the Lord in his love and faithful-
ness has given us what we are likely to need to-morrow
and the day after.
Aug. 17. There has come in still further 27.
Aug. 18. This morning a brother who passed through
Bristol gave ll., saying that it had been especially laid on
his heart to do so. Thus the Lord has provided a little
towards to-morrow. Beside this came in to-day 1s. 9d.
Aug. 19. By the sale of three pairs of stockings came
in 5s. 6d., and from Liverpool was sent 12s. 6d. : this,
with what was in hand, was enough for to-day and left a
little over.
Aug. 20. To-day there was not enough money in hand
to meet all the demands; but it being known that yester-
day several persons had put money into the boxes in the
Orphan-Houses, they were opened, and found to contain
11. 4s. 6d., which was more than sufficient.
I would call upon the believing reader to admire the
love and wisdom and power of God in ordering it so that
persons should come to the Orphan-Houses just at the
time when there is temporal pressure, and should be in-
fluenced to put money into the boxes. These little sums
have been often the means of helping us in our greatest
need. The especial providence of God, as in every other
respect, so in this particular point also, is to be seen re-
specting this Institution, in that so much is anonymously
ut into the boxes; for there has been no less than
45l. 18s. 9%d, put in during the last two years, from Dec.
10, 1838, to Dec. 10, 1840.
Aug. 22. Saturday. Yesterday there was only 13s.6d.
in hand, which was enough to meet the necessities of
the day, but not sufficient to enable us to take in the
usual quantity of bread. This morning we were in much
need, not only because there were no means for procuring
dinner in the Boys' and Girls'-Orphan-Houses, but also
BI. H.
350 [A.D. 1840.
because, this being Saturday, we had to procure provi-
sions for two days. When brother B. went to the In-
fant-Orphan-House, to make inquiry about the demands
for to-day, he was informed that money had been put
into the box there, which was found to be 12s. There
came in also in the morning 10s. besides. This ll. 2s.
was more than sufficient to purchase all that was needed
for dinner. Between twelve and one o’clock there arrived
a parcel from Clapham, which contained several donations
for the Orphans, amounting to 2l. 15s., besides a pair of
sheets and pillow cases, 4 frocks, 4 handkerchiefs, 4 caps,
1 stuff petticoat, 2 chemises, 6 bags, 1 little shirt, (all
new), and several yards of prints and calico. In the
evening came a box from Worcester, which contained the
following articles for sale : a valuable veil, 2 silver ladles,
a silver fork, 2 pairs of new plated candlesticks, a fan,
and 2 Italian books. There came also from the neigh-
bourhood of Wolverhampton, 2s. 6d. and seven books.
Thus the Lord helped us through this day also, at the
commencement of which we were so very poor, and
needed several pounds.
Aug. 23. Lord's day. As we have often found it to
be the case, so it is again now. After the Lord has tried
our faith, he, in the love of his heart, gives us an abun-
dance, to show that not in anger, but for the glory of his
name, and for the trial of our faith he has allowed us to
be poor. This morning I received from an aged and
afflicted servant, 3!. ; and a little afterwards 8l. from
Q. Q. From another servant 5s. ; also 2s. was put
anonymously into the box at Bethesda, besides the
17. *; for rent. Thus the Lord has kindly given to-day
127. 17s.
Aug. 29. Saturday. Since last Monday had come in
only 2l. by the profits of the sale of ladies’ baskets,
11.14s. 10d. by sale of articles, 3s. as two donations, and
6d. by Reports. Thus it happened that when this day
began, though a Saturday, we had only 7s, in hand. In
the course of the morning came in 11s. 9d., and towards
the evening 8s. 6d. This day we have been as poor in
regard to our stores, as at any time. During the whole
of this day, though Saturday, we had only 11.7s. 8d. On
this account we had to buy a smaller quantity of bread
than usual, etc.; nevertheless, the children have even this
A.D. 1840.] 351
day lacked nothing, and there is a sufficient quantity of
wholesome food till breakfast on Monday morning.
For many weeks past very little has come in for the
other funds. The chief supply has been by the sale of
Bibles. Last Saturday I was not able to pay the whole
of the weekly salaries of the teachers in the Day Schools,
which, however, does not make me a debtor to them, as
it is an understood thing, that they have not to look to
me for payment, but to the Lord. To-day again only 2s.
was in hand, whilst several pounds were needed to pay
the salaries. It appeared now plainly to be the will of
the Lord that, as all the labourers in the Orphan-Houses
know about the state of the funds, so the brethren and
sisters who labour in the Day Schools should share the
trial of faith and the joy of faith with us. Accordingly
we all met, and after I had laid on their hearts the im-
portance of keeping to themselves, for the Lord’s sake,
the state of the funds, we prayed together.
Aug. 30. Lord’s day. To-day the Lord has again
bountifully opened his hand for the Orphans. There came
in with Ecclesiastes ix. 10, 5l. ; from a sister, a servant,
10s. ; and for rent 11.10s. Besides this was anonymously
put into the box at Bethesda, 10s. 3d. and 2s. 6d.
Sept. 1. Though there was a good supply given to the
matrons yesterday, yet as the stock of provisions had
been so low on Saturday, the money was all spent by last
evening; and had the Lord not kindly sent in yesterday
14s, and to-day ll. 10s., we should have been again in
need.
Sept. 4. The day before yesterday, Sept. 2, came a
box from Leeds, from sisters in the Lord whom we have
never seen, and of whom until now we have never heard,
but on whose hearts the Tord has laid his work in our
hands. The box contained a variety of articles, to be
sold for the benefit of the Orphans. No money has
come in the last two days, except 1s. which was given,
and 5s. for things sold. On this account the boxes in
the Orphan-Houses were opened, but only 1s. 7#d. was
found in them. To supply what was needed to-day, an
article which came in the box from Leeds was sold for 5s.,
and thus we were helped through the day. The sisters
who sent the box from Leeds wrote to us a most affec-
tionate letter, in which they announced this and another
H. H. 2
352 [A.D. 1840.
box which is to follow, stating how much the Lord had
laid the work in our hands on their hearts. They may
have little thought, when they sent off the box, that so
soon the produce of one of the articles sent by them
would supply our need.
Sept. 5. Saturday. Because there had come in so little
during the last days, at least 31. was requisite to supply
the need of to-day. There was, however, not one penny
in hand when the day commenced. Last evening the
labourers in the Orphan-Houses, together with the
teachers of the Day Schools, met for prayer. This morn-
ing one of the teachers, who had a little money of his own,
brought 11. 5s. 6d. Thus, as we had hoped, we were
enabled to provide for the dinner. In the afternoon all
of us met again for prayer. Another teacher of the Day
Schools gave 2s. 6d., and 1s. came in besides. But all
this was not enough. There was no dinner provided for
to-morrow, nor was there any money to take in milk to-
morrow, and besides this a number of other little things
were to be purchased, that there might be no real want of
any thing. Now observe how our kind Father helped us!
Between seven and eight this evening a sister, whose
heart the Lord has made willing to take on her the service
of disposing of the articles which are sent for sale, brought
21. 10s. 6d. for some of the things which came a fortnight
ago from Worcester, and last Wednesday from Leeds.
The sister stated, that though she did not feel at all well,
she had come because she had it so laid on her heart,
that she could not stay away. Our Father knew our
need, and therefore, though so late, he sent this help.
Thus we were richly provided with all we needed this
Saturday.
Sept. 6. The Lord has kindly sent in to-day for the
Orphans 4l. 5s. 6d. for the need of to-morrow. One
pound of this money was given by a servant, who has
again and again given of late, and who has thus again and
again been the means of supplying our need, when there
was either nothing at all, or not sufficient in hand. When
she gave me the money to night, she told me that of late
she had had the Orphans particularly laid on her heart.
ll. 8s. was the produce of an orphan-box, which a sister
was led so seasonably to send just now.
Sept. 7. This morning a brother from Barnstaple, who
A.D. 1840.] 353
came on Saturday evening, (that evening when we were
So greatly tried, but so graciously delivered,) gave me
1ſ. 0s. 8d., which the love of some saints at Barnstaple
had sent for the Orphans, besides 5s. of his own. We
have thus enough for to-day and to-morrow. There came
in still further to-day, 6s. 6d.
Sept. 8. How kindly has the Lord so ordered it that
for some time past the income for the school-fund should
have been so little, in order that thus we might be con-
strained to let the labourers in the Day Schools share our
joys and our trials of faith, which had been before kept
from them | But as above two years ago the Lord
ordered it so that it became needful to communicate to
the labourers in the Orphan-Houses the state of the funds,
and made it a blessing to them, so that I am now able to
leave Bristol, and yet the work goes on, so, I doubt not,
the brethren and sisters who are teachers in the Day
Schools will be greatly blessed by being thus partakers of
our precious secret respecting the state of the funds. Our
prayer meetings have been already a blessing to us, and
united us more than ever in the work. We have them
now every morning at seven, and we shall continue them,
the Lord helping us, till we see his hand stretched forth,
not merely in giving us means for the teachers, but also
for other purposes; for we need a stove in one of the
school rooms, a fresh supply of several kinds of Bibles and
New Testaments, and it is desirable to have means to
help Missionary brethren who labour in dependance upon
the Lord for the supply of their temporal necessities.
Sept. 9. We are now meeting every morning at seven
for prayer, . With 5s. which was sent yesterday from the
Isle of Wight for the Orphans, we have commenced the
day ; but I believe that the Lord will help us through this
day also.
Evening. About twelve this morning a brother, a
stranger, who is staying at Ashton, near Bristol, came
With some of his family to the Orphan-Houses. While
brother B. was for a few moments out of the room to
fetch a key, the visiting brother took the opportunity of
secretly putting something into the box at the Boys'-
Orphan: House. Brother B., however, perceived it before
he could get away from the box, and, the brother being
gone, our great need brought it out, when it was found
H H 3
354 [A.D. 1840.
to be 5l. Thus the Lord kindly has provided for the
need of to-day and to-morrow. When this money was
given we were exceedingly poor. For not only would
there have been no means to take in the usual quantity of
bread in one of the houses, but there was no money to take
fin milk in the afternoon in any of the houses. The Lord
knew our need, and therefore just now sent this brother.
He gave also 2s. for Reports.
Sept. 10. When now the 57 of yesterday was again
spent, the Lord has kindly sent another 5l. through a
sister who had heard me, just before she gave it, speaking
at our evening meeting on those words:—“Who com-
forteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to
comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort
wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.” It
appeared to me that the Lord had reminded her of the
Orphans, while I was speaking on those words, though of
course there had not been the least allusion to them.
Thus the Lord indeed is listening to our supplications
which we unitedly offer up every morning. There came
in still further 6s. 10d.
Yesterday came in 17, 7s., and to-day 11.15s. 10d. for
the other funds. Thus the Lord, in answer to our peti-
tions at the morning prayer meetings, has sent in a little
for these funds also.
Sept. 11. The Lord has sent in still further and more
richly for the Orphans. This morning 11. was given to
me which had been sent from Trowbridge, and this after-
noon a brother who came from Scotland gave me 10l., and
brought the following trinkets which were sent by a lady
from Scotland:—2 clasps, a ring, 2 pairs of ear-rings, a
slide, a pin, a cross, and 2 bracelets, all of gold. In the
afternoon came in 3!, by sale of articles.
Sept. 12. The Lord has sent in still more. This morn-
ing was sent 101. through a banker in London, by the
order of a sister at Worcester; and 10s. was put into the
box at my house. This has been a week of peculiar
mercies, as above 40l has been sent in, besides several
articles. We have continued to meet for prayer every
morning, from seven to eight.
Sept. 13. To-day came in 37.8s. 4d., of which 17.10s. 6d.
was for some of the articles sent from Leeds.
Sept. 16. Though during the last week above 40l. came
A.D. 1840.] 355
in, yet, because the usual expenses for housekeeping were
about 15l., and because most of the sisters who labour in
the Orphan-Houses had not had for a long time any
money for their own personal necessities, we were the
day before yesterday again so poor, that only a few shil-
lings were left. The Lord, knowing this, sent in a little
money, and, by a sister from the Isle of Wight, 7 rings,
2 brooches, 2 pins, 1 pair of ear-rings, 2 pairs of studs,
all gold, 2 chemises, and 2 babies' shirts. To-day arrived
from Leeds, from some sisters in the Lord before referred
to, a second box, the first having come about a fortnight
ago. This second box contained the following articles:—
2 silver dessert spoons, a pair of silver sugar tongs, a silver
tea caddy spoon, 6 plated forks, 4 knife resters, a cream
spoon, 6 Britannia metal tea spoons, a silver watch, a
metal watch, a small telescope, 2 cloak fastenings, 11 pen-
cils, a pen case with pieces of sealing wax, 2 pairs of
scissors, 6 chimney ornaments, a boa ring, a chess board,
3 purses with 2l. 1s. 4d., 2 silver pocket knives, a silver
pencil case, a ditto of brass, a bodkin case, a gold pin, a
silver vinaigrette, 125 needles, 1 memorandum case, 5
paper baskets, 18 books, 100 copies of a small English
Grammar (unbound), 75 pamphlets, 37 table mats, 120
little tracts, 5 pairs of stockings, 2 pairs of socks, a
Thibet shawl, 6 coloured frocks, 4 caps, 9 collars, 8 neck-
erchiefs, 3 muslin aprons, 5 holland aprons, 4 muslin
frocks, 6 babies' ditto, 2 white gowns, 2 remnants of print,
5 habit shirts, a bonnet, a merino apron, a glass trumpet,
a taper candlestick, several small pieces of riband and
gauze, 4 yards of silk fringe, 7 cases of different kinds of
cards, a crape scarf, some lining calico, 13 little boxes,
a straw basket, and about 50 other various little articles.
It is difficult to describe the peculiar pleasure which I
had in unpacking the box, and in finding that all these
articles were for the Lord’s work.--—There came in still
further this evening 8s.
Besides other small donations since the 10th, there
came in to-day 5l. for the other funds, as the answer to
oft-repeated prayer; also, from Liverpool, 17. 14s. 8d.
Thus the Lord encourages our hearts in this part of the
work likewise.
Sept. 17. The need of to-day for the Orphans was sup-
plied by the little which had come in yesterday, and by
356 [A.D. 1840.
the 27. 1s. 4d. which came in the second box from Leeds.
These two boxes from Leeds have been sent, most season-
ably by the Lord, and thus truly the sisters who sent
them have been led by him to do so, according to what
they wrote in a letter, which announced the arrival of the
first box : “We feel deeply interested in your concerns,
and our anxiety to serve you has increased by every new
discovery of the kindness and goodness of God, in pro-
viding for your wants. Indeed, we cannot but believe
that the Lord has put it into our hearts to help you, and
we trust you will honour us, his unworthy servants, by
believing that our gift is really his.” There came in to-
day 2l. 16s. by the sale of some of the articles sent in
the first box from Leeds, and by the sale of some other
articles. Thus our need for to-morrow is supplied.
Sept. 18. To-day the Lord has sent again 17s. 5d. by
sale of some of the articles sent from Leeds, and 21. 10s.
from Leicestershire, and also 4s. for children’s needlework.
Thus we have enough for to-morrow, being Saturday.
Sept. 21. Monday. By what was in hand for the
Orphans, and by what had come in yesterday, the need
of to-day is more than supplied, as there is enough for to-
morrow also.
To-day a brother from the neighbourhood of London
gave me 10l., to be laid out as it might be most needed.
As we have been praying many days for the School—
Bible—and Missionary Funds, I took it all for them.
This brother knew nothing about our work, when he came
three days since to Bristol. Thus the Lord, to show his
continual care over us, raises up new helpers. They that
trust in the Lord shall never be confounded ! Some who
helped for a while may fall asleep in Jesus; others may
grow cold in the service of the Lord; others may be as
desirous as ever to help, but have no longer the means;
others may have both a willing heart to help, and have
also the means, but may see it the Lord’s will to lay them
out in another way :--and thus, from one cause or an-
other, were we to lean upon man, we should surely be
confounded; but, in leaning upon the living God alone,
we are BEYOND disappointment, and BEYOND being forsaken
because of death, or want of means, or want of love, or
because of the claims of other work. How precious to have
learned in any measure to stand with God alone in the
A.D. 1840.] 357
world, and yet to be happy, and to know that surely
no good thing shall be withheld from us whilst we walk
uprightly
Sept. 23. This morning there was again only 10s. in
hand for the Orphans. As this was not enough for the
day, I opened the box in my house, in which I found
8s. 6d. The boxes in the Orphan-Houses were also
opened, which contained 7s.6%d. There came in also by
the sale of a pair of stockings, 1s. 6d. This 11.7s.6%d.
was enough, and even 3s. more than was absolutely needed.
The Lord gave to-day another proof that he is still mind-
ful of us, for a brother sent half a ton of coals to each of
the three houses.
Sept. 24. Yesterday our prayer, in our meeting at
twelve o’clock, was especially for the supply of to-day, I
was fully assured that the Lord would send help, as now
all our stores were again exhausted. Accordingly, last
evening, a sister, into whose hands some of the articles,
which came in the second box from Leeds, had been put
for sale, gave me 11. 3s. 7d., being the payment for some
of them. There came in a donation of 2s. besides. This
17. 5s. 7d. served for this day. The Lord be praised who
has helped us thus !
Sept. 25. It is now half-past eleven. Nothing has
come in as yet. How the Lord will help us through the
day is not my care; for sure I am he will help. F. am just
going to meet with my fellow-labourers for prayer. Per-
haps the Lord will again, at the time of the meeting, fill
our mouths with praise, as he has done so many times.
My soul waits on him for deliverance How truly pre-
cious to have such a Father as we have 1
Sept. 26. When I went yesterday to the meeting for
prayer, I found that some articles which had come from
Leeds, had been sold for 10s. 9d., and that 2s. 6d. had
been taken out of the box in the Girls'-Orphan-House.
To this one of the labourers added 10s. of his own. This
11. 3s. 3d. supplied all we needed yesterday; but there was
now again nothing in hand to meet this day's demands,
which I knew would be great, on account of its being
Saturday. The Lord, however, remembered our Satur-
day’s necessities, and therefore sent in abundantly, so
that we had even more than we needed for to-day, though
we required no less than 5l. The way in which he kindly
358 [A.D. 1840.
helped us, was this: first 31, came in for articles which
had been sent from Leeds; afterwards a little boy and
girl brought two little Savings' Banks, filled with their
little presents, amounting altogether to 15s.14d. In the
evening came in still further 4!. for articles which had
been sold, most of which had likewise been sent from
Leeds. Thus the Lord sent in altogether 81. 18s. 14d.
in the course of the day, whilst it commenced without
there being a penny in hand.
Sept. 27. To-day the Lord has sent in still further
2l. 5s. 8d., of which 15s. 8d. was for articles sent from
Leeds, and 17. with Ecclesiastes ir. 10.
Sept. 29. Yesterday we were again pennyless, after
the necessities of the three houses had been supplied.
Almost immediately afterwards came in 11.12s. 2d., suffi-
cient to supply the need of to-day.
Sept. 30. To-day there is nothing in hand. It is now
a quarter past eleven, but nothing yet has come in.
Nevertheless the Lord will surely help us this day also
About five minutes after I had written the above, I was
informed, by a note from brother B., that 21.10s. 6d. had
come in in small donations.
Oct. 1. It is now again eleven o’clock, and the Lord
has not as yet been pleased to send in any thing for the
necessities of this day. Let me see now how the Lord
will again help us in the love of his heart; for he will
surely help, though I know not how.—Evening. When I
went to the prayer meeting, I found that only 1s. had
come in, but at the same time I was informed that the
money, which had been divided yesterday among the
matrons, was enough for to-day also.
Oct. 2. Nothing came in yesterday, nor this morning.
In addition to this, I was so engaged, that in the after-
noon I had not even time to make inquiry how the Lord
had helped. Thus it is often that I can do nothing but
quietly go on with my engagements, casting all care upon
the Lord. When I came home this evening, the first
thing that met my eyes was the following letter from a
distance of many miles:
“Beloved Brother, Five pounds are enclosed as from
the Lord, as I believe you stand in need of it for the use
of the Orphans. Yours affectionately, F. W.”
Truly, the Lord, to whom we had spoken yesterday,
A.D. 1840.] 359
had spoken for us, and told this brother that we were in
need of money. After having read this letter, my eyes
met two others. In the one I was informed by a brother,
that he had sold two pairs of fire screens for 8s., and had
sent the money. These screens had been for many months
in his hands for sale, and now to-day, in this our poverty,
a lady came to the shop and bought them. The other
letter was from brother B., master of the boys in the
Boys'-Orphan-House, which I give here:
“I opened the boxes and found 4s. 1; d. in them. This
was far from being sufficient. About four o'clock three
persons came to the Orphan-Houses, and put into the
box at the Boys'-Orphan-House 7s., into the box at
the Infant-Orphan-House 6s., and into the box at the
Girls'-Orphan-House 7s. Thus I have had in all to
divide 11.4s. 1%d., which meets the necessities of the day.”
Oct. 3. It was exceedingly kind of the Lord to send
in so much yesterday; for the necessities of to-day, being
Saturday, required it all. And now, when there was again
70thing in hand, there arrived this evening a large box,
sent by a sister at Stafford, whom I never saw, which
contained 11. 5s., and the following articles: 11 gold
rings, a silver ring washed, a locket, a gold brooch, 3 single
ear-rings, a watch hook, a silver watch guard, 2 silver-
mounted eye glasses, 3 vinaigrettes, 2 purses, a silver
buckle, 2 old silver coins, 2 silver pencil cases, 3 pairs
of bracelets, 3 necklaces, 2 waist buckles, a bracelet
Snap, a cloak fastening, a necklace Snap, a yard measure,
a mourning brooch, 7 pincushions, a snuff box, a small
looking glass, two china boxes, a china inkstand, 5 china
cups and saucers, a china basket, 2 china jugs, a scent
bottle, a boa ring, 20 shells, a boy’s cap, a pair of snuffers
and stand, a little basket, a pair of screen handles, 3
ornamental pens, 5 artificial flowers, 5 glass plates, 5
counter plates, 3 pairs of card racks, a comb, a pair of
watch pockets, 12 table mats, 8 paintings, 4 drawings,
2 fans, a pair of garters, 3 pairs of gloves, 3 pairs of silk
stockings, 3 veils, a gauze scarf, 6 ladies' bags, 5 silk
bands, 2 floss silk scarfs, a gauze handkerchief, 2 silk
scarfs, a crape shawl, a silk shawl, 2 muslim capes, 30
yards of worn cotton lace, 8 yards of muslin work, 9
yards of print, a pinafore, a frock, a sampler, a pair of
socks, a pair of ear-rings, and 17 ladies’ dresses.—One
360 [A.D. 1840.
thing is particularly to be noticed respecting this donation,
that the Lord from time to time raises up fresh individuals
to help us in the work, thereby continually reminding us,
that he is not limited to any individuals in particular,
neither aré we, his children.
Oct. 4. To-day came in 19s. 4d., by sale of some of
the articles sent from Leeds. Thus our need for to-
morrow is supplied.
Oct. 5. 77.15s. 2d. came in again to-day, of which 5l.
was from a brother whom I have never seen.
Oct. 6. To-day came in further by sale of articles
which had been sent from Leeds, 31.7s.6d., also 14s. 3d.
in small donations.
Oct. 7, 11.14s.2d. came in to-day, in small donations.
It is now five weeks, since we have daily met for prayer.
Not indeed merely to ask for means, but for grace and
wisdom for ourselves in reference to the work, for the con-
version of the children under our care, for grace for those
children who stand already on the Lord’s side, for a bless-
ing upon the circulation of the Scriptures, for a blessing
upon the work, with reference to the church at large,
etc. But whilst we thus, as the Spirit led us, prayed for
various things, nevertheless, the lack of means was that
which had brought us day after day together. We asked
the Lord to give us the means which are needed for carry-
ing on the Day-Schools, for buying Bibles, as several sorts
are needed, and to enable us to assist Missionary work
in foreign countries. Never at any previous time, since
first the work commenced on March 5, 1834, have we had
to continue so long a time in prayer for these funds,
without obtaining the answer. The Lord, however, gave
us grace to “continue in prayer,” and kept our hearts in
the assurance that he would help. Now, though he de-
layed long, before he sent us the answer, in his own time
he made it manifest, that he had not only not shut his
ear against our prayers in anger, but that he had answered
them even before we called; for there was sent to-day,
from the East Indies, a bank order for 100l., which had
been sent off two months since, therefore several days
before we even began to pray. It was left to me to apply
this money as it might be needed. As we had so long,
and so particularly prayed for these funds, I took the
whole of it for them, and not for the Orphan-Fund.—The
A.D. 1840.] 361
Lord be praised for this precious answer. It was parti-
cularly precious, as leading the dear brethren and sisters
who labour in the Day Schools, and who comparatively
are little accustomed to this way, to see how good it is to
wait upon the Lord.
Oct. 10. All our wants for the Orphans have been
richly supplied during this week, and to-day, on my leaving
for Trowbridge in the Lord’s service, I was able to send
5l. 5s. 8d. to the sisters, the matrons.
Oct. 11–14. Trowbridge. I have had a good season
since I have been here. The Lord has enabled me to rise
very early, and I have thus had more than two hours of
communion with him before breakfast, the fruit of which I
have felt all the day long. The Lord in mercy continue
my enjoyment —For the last three weeks I had been
asked, yea pressed, to come here, to minister among the
saints; but I could not clearly see it to be the Lord's will,
and therefore did not go. Now I came, assured that it
was his will, and have been very happy, and greatly
helped in my service here in every way, and I am fully
assured that my labour has not been in vain. How good
it is, even for this life, according to the Lord’s bidding
either to go or stay !—I have seen, whilst here, a young
woman, the daughter of a brother and sister who were
in communion with us, but who have both fallen asleep.
While her father was living she hated the truth, but still
she came to Bethesda Chapel. One day, whilst there,
she was made to feel the power of the truth, and since
the death of her parents, the Lord has granted an answer
to their many prayers on her behalf, for she is now
standing on the Lord’s side. Let believing parents conti-
nue in prayer for their children, and let them also continue
affectionately and at suitable times to bring the truth
before them, and to bring them to the preaching of the
word: and in due season it will be manifested that their
labours were not in vain.
Oct. 14. Yesterday, while at Trowbridge, I received
from a sister, from the neighbourhood of London, 11., for
the Orphans. In the evening, a sister, a servant, gave
me 1s. This morning I gave myself again to prayer re-
specting the Orphan-Fund, as I had reason to believe
that there was nothing in hand in Bristol, except several
pounds had come in since I left. Soon after, a sister, a
I I
362 [A.D. 1840.
servant, gave me 5s., and, on leaving in the afternoon, a
brother gave me 5l. When I came home this evening, I
found that only 31. 10s. 8d. had come in since I left, just
sºfficient to supply the need up to this evening, so that the
help which the Lord gave at Trowbridge, in answer to
prayer, came very seasonably to supply the need of to-
in OPPOW. -
Oct. 20. Tuesday. During these last three days we
have again experienced the continued care of our loving
Pather on behalf of the Orphans. On Saturday evening,
when again there was no money at all remaining in my
hands, a pair of silver mounted horns was anonymously
left at my house. On the Lord's day I received 67. 1s.
Yesterday the Lord sent in still more abundantly;
for in the morning came in 12l. from the neighbourhood
of Wolverhampton, and in the evening 21. was given to
me by D. C. This morning, a few minutes after I had
been thinking that no potatoes had been sent yet for the
Orphans, and that we had no money to lay in a stock (for
the 14t, which came in yesterday was at once sent off), a
brother came and informed me that he had given orders
that twenty sacks of good potatoes should be sent to the
Orphan-Houses. Thus our kind Father continually cares
for us.
Oct. 26. Monday. The Lord has been again very
kind to us, during these last days. There came in since
Oct. 20, in small donations, 18s. 1d., for knitting and by
sale of stockings, 16s. On Friday last, besides, there
were sold, to a sister who came to see the Orphan-Houses,
stockings to the amount of 17s. 5d. In the evening, as
late as nine, a brother at whose house I was, gave me 5!.
This 57. and the money for the stockings came in very
seasonably, as it enabled us to supply the large demands
of the next day. Yesterday morning, when I took my
hat from the rail, I found in one of my gloves a note, con-
taining a 5l. note and the following words: “21, for the
Orphans, the rest for dear brother and sister Müller.”
There came in still further yesterday 27, 12s. 6d. Thus
we are again supplied for about three days.
In reference to the note which was put into my hat,
containing 5l., I just add, that I had repeatedly asked the
Ilord for means for our own personal expenses, previous
to the reception of it, as we had but very little money
A.D. 1840.] 363
for ourselves. Indeed the very moment, before I took
my hat from the rail, I had risen from my knees, having
again asked the Lord for means for ourselves and for the
Orphans.
Oct. 30. The evening before last 9s. came in, being
the produce of some work which a sister had done for the
benefit of the Orphans; and early this morning, while my
candle was yet burning, a paper was brought, containing
12s. These two donations, with what little is in hand
besides, supply our need for this day.
Oct. 31. Saturday. There was no money in hand.
My mind was particularly stirred up to open the box in
my house. I did so, and found 11. 10s. 7d. in it. The
boxes in the Orphan-Houses were likewise opened, in
which was found 8s. Also a brother from Tetbury gave
2s. 6d. Thus the need of to-day was supplied.
Nov. 2. Monday. 1. 11s. is the need of to-day, and
as 1%. 12s. has come in since Saturday evening, we are
helped for to-day. -
Nov. 3 and 4. Only 2s. 6d. has come in since
Nov. 2nd, but the necessities of these two days were
supplied by means of articles which had been given to be
disposed of.
Nov. 5. Only 2s. came in yesterday for knitting. We
are now, without any thing, cast upon the Lord. The
need of to-day is 11. 3s., which I am unable to send.—
Afternoon. There came in at three o'clock 4!. for some
of the articles which had been sent from Stafford, and
which had been sold some time since, so that I was able
to send the needful supplies. There came in 6d. besides.
Nov. 7. Saturday. Of the 4!. 2s. 6d. which was in
hand the day before yesterday, there was so much left,
that with an addition of 9s. 6d., all the necessities of to-
day could be supplied. This one of the labourers gave.
Nov. 8. Lord’s day. To-day the Lord has been again
very kind, and looked upon us in our poverty. Besides
the 11. 10s. for rent, I received with Ecclesiastes iz. 10,
5l. I was also informed that two large sacks of oatmeal
had been sent from Glasgow as a present. In addition
to all this, a brother told me that he had it in his heart
to give 10!. worth of materials, for winter clothes for the
children, leaving the material to my choice, according to
the need, so that just what was most desirable might be
II 2
364 [A.D. 1840.
given. (He accordingly sent a few days after, a large
pair of good blankets, 32; yards of mixed beaver, and
103 yards of blue beaver for cloaks.) There was also 1s.
put into the box at Bethedsa, with the words, “Jehovah
Jireh.” These words have often been refreshing to my
soul for many years past, and I wrote them with a valu-
able diamond ring, set with ten brilliants, which was
given for the Orphans about twenty months since, upon
a pane of glass in my room, which circumstance, in
remembrance of the remarkable way in which that valu-
able ring came, has often cheered my heart, when in
deep poverty my eyes have been cast upon “JEHOVAH
JIREH'' (i. e. the Lord will provide) whilst sitting in my
I’OOIſl.
I purposed to have gone to Trowbridge yesterday, and
had settled it so on Friday evening with brother *
But no sooner had I decided to do so, than I felt no peace
in the prospect of going. After having prayed about it
on Friday evening, and yesterday morning, I determined
not to go, and I felt sure the Lord had some reason for
not allowing me to feel happy in the prospect of going.
I began now to look out for blessings for this day, con-
sidering that the Lord had kept me here for good to some
souls. This evening I was especially led to press the
truth on the consciences of the unconverted, entreating
and beseeching them, and telling them also that I felt
sure, the Lord had, in mercy to some of them, kept me
from going to Trowbridge. I spoke on Genesis vi. 1–5.
Immediately after I saw fruit of the word. An indi-
vidual fully opened his heart to me. I walked about with
him till about ten o’clock, even as long as I had any
strength left. [About ten days afterwards a brother told
me of a poor drunkard who heard me that evening, and
who since then had stayed up till about twelve o’clock
every night to read the Scriptures, and who had not been
intoxicated since.]
Nov. 11. As only 4s. 6d, had come in for knitting, and
2s. 6d. as a donation for the Orphans since the 8th, we
were now again very poor. To-day there was 9s, more
needed than there was in hand, which one of the labourers
gave. There were sent to-day anonymously, nine sacks
of potatoes, a proof that our Father continues to be
mindful of us, though we are now again so poor.
A.D. 1840.] 365
Nov. 12. Only 6s. 6d. came in last night, 4.s. 6d. of
which is the produce of the work of a sister, and 2s. from
a poor afflicted sister. This 6s. 6d. was very precious in
my esteem, because it showed me afresh our Father's
heart towards us, and it was a little to begin the day with.
No more had come in this morning, when at twelve I
heard from the Orphan-Houses that 1s. 6d. had been
received for knitting, and that about eleven this morning
a sovereign was left, anonymously, at the Girls'-Orphan-
House. The paper in which the sovereign was enclosed
contained only the letters “A. U. S.”—This was a pre-
cious deliverance. We have thus enough for to-day.—
Evening. There came in still further to-day for knitting
3s., and a little girl sent 1s. When I came home this
evening I found that a boy's jacket and a sovereign had
been left anonymously at my house. Truly, these deliver-
ances to-day have been very precious ! We have now
enough for to-morrow also.
Nov. 14. Trowbridge. Saturday. That which came in
the evening before last supplied our need yesterday; but
since then nothing has been received, and therefore there
were no means to meet this day’s demands. I had to go
this morning in the Lord’s service to Trowbridge, feeling
assured that his time had now come for my going, and it
required indeed looking at the power, wisdom, and love of
our Father, comfortably to leave my dear fellow-labourers,
there being nothing in hand. My comfort was that the
same kind Father who had provided would provide.
Nov. 16. Trowbridge. Monday. This morning Ireceived
a letter from Bristol, in which I was informed that on
Saturday came in 12s. 6d. ; also 9s. was given by one of
the labourers. Besides this were received 3s. by sale of
articles, and three small donations, amounting to 5s.
Thus the Lord most mercifully sent in 11.9s. 6d., which
was enough to supply the absolute need.
Nov. 17. Trowbridge. This morning I had again the
report from Bristol about yesterday, in order that, though
unable to send means, I might help with my prayers. In
a note written in the morning by brother B., and sent to
my wife, he writes thus: “I know not whether the Lord
has sent in any money for the Orphans or not. I have
received none. Sister (one of the labourers) has
given half a ton of coals to the Boys'-Orphan-House.
I I 3
366 [A.D. 1840.
There are coals needed at the Girls'-Orphan-House, and
much money for the ordinary expenses. There is suffi-
cient in all the houses for dinner. He has said, ‘I will
never leave thee, nor forsake thee, so that we may boldly
say, The Lord is My helper.” In the afternoon of the
same day he writes: “I have delayed writing as long as
I could. The Lord has not sent any thing, but the sisters
can do without taking in bread, and they had money
enough to pay for the milk, except sister , who has,
however, received a few shillings for some articles of her
own, that she sold. Thus we are supplied with the
absolute necessities for to-day.” In reference to the
last lines I make a few remarks. At first sight it might
appear as if it were a failure of the principles on which
we act, that now and then individuals who are connected
with the work have been obliged to sell articles of their
own, to procure things which were needed. But let it
be remembered, that under no circumstances prayer for
temporal supplies can be expected to prevail with the
Lord, except we are willing to part with money or any
queedless articles which we may have of our own. Indeed
an Institution like the one under my care could not be
carried on by any rich believer, on the principles on which
we, by grace, are enabled to act, except it be that he were
made willing himself to give of his own property, as long
as he has any thing, whenever the Institution is in
real need.
Nov. 18. Bristol. This morning at twelve I returned
from Trowbridge, where I had been very happy, and where
the Lord evidently used me this time. How happy a
thing it is to go and to stay with the Lord!—I found
that yesterday some money had been put into the orphan-
box at my house, which my wife had reason to believe
was at least 11. She therefore sent 11. which had come
in for the rent of the Orphan-Houses, in consideration of
this, as she had not the key to the box. This 11, met the
necessities of yesterday, and with 1s. additional, which
one of the labourers gave, was also enough for the dinner
of to-day. There came in also yesterday from Clapham,
as a token that the Lord allows us only to be poor for the
trial of our faith, but not in anger, the following articles
of clothing: 6 frocks, 7 pinafores, 4 chemises, 3 pocket
handkerchiefs, 2 petticoats, 3 night caps, 4 work bags
A.D. 1840.] 367
(all new), a yard of merino, and 12 silk papers. On my
arrival at home I opened the box in my house, in which
I found 21. 0s. 6d., so that I had 17. 0s. 6d. to send off,
whereby the usual quantity of bread could be taken in.
Nov. 19. Since Sept. 18, 1838, this has been, perhaps,
of all the days the most trying. The poverty has been
exceedingly great for the last six days. There had come
in no money since yesterday. On this account no bread
could be taken in, so far as the natural prospect went.
Nor was there any money at three in the afternoon to
take in milk for tea, when brother B. came to me. How-
ever, we prayed together, and the Lord had mercy. For
one of the labourers found that he was able, which he
knew not before, to give of his own 10s., so that there
were the means to take in the milk, by the time that it is
usually brought. This evening about six there came in
still further 10s. 3d., by the sale of Reports. Thus, by
the good hand of our God upon us, we were able to take
in bread as usual. How very kind of the Lord that he
sent us an abundance of potatoes and two large sacks
of oatmeal, before this season of deep poverty, as to
pecuniary means, commenced 1 May the Lord now in
great pity look upon us, for we are in deeper poverty
than ever, as with every day it increases, whilst there is
no full deliverance. Thanks be to the Lord that my
mind has been in peace this day also, though our faith
has been so very much tried Thanks to him that my
mind is in peace now, though there is nothing but want
on every side before me, respecting to-morrow ! Surely,
the Lord will again, in his own time, more fully stretch
forth his helping hand
Nov. 20, Nothing more had come in this morning.
It was nearly three o’clock this afternoon, when brother
B. called on me, to see whether any thing had come in ;
but I had received nothing. I was obliged to go out
with a brother from Devonshire, and therefore requested
him to wait till I returned. About a quarter past three I
came back, when, among several persons who were waiting
at my house to converse with me, there was a sister whom
I much desired to see about some church affair. I did so.
When I had ended the conversation with her, about half-
past three, she gave me 10l. for the Orphans. More
sweet, and more needed, were none of the previous deli-
368 [A.D. 1840
verances. Language cannot express the real joy in God
which I had. I was free from Tea citement. The circum-
stance did not unfit me even for a single moment to
attend to my other engagements. I was not in the least
surprised, because, by grace, my soul had been waiting on
God for deliverance. Never had help been so long
delayed. In none of the houses was milk for tea, and in
one even no bread, and there was no money to purchase
either. It was only a few minutes before the milkman
came, when brother B. arrived at the Orphan-Houses
with the money. Yet even now it was more than an
hour before the usual tea time. The Lord be praised for
this deliverance! Such a week of deep poverty, as we
have had since Nov. 13, we never had before. Yet, thanks
to the Lord ' we have lacked nothing, and we have been
kept from dishonouring him by unbelief. I further notice
respecting this day, that before this 10l. was received,
there was sent to the Infant-Orphan-House a cart load of
clumps of wood, when there were neither coals, nor money
to buy any.
Nov. 21. Saturday evening. The 10l. which came in
yesterday afternoon is all expended. Again I have not a
penny in hand. We are, however, brought to the close of
another week, and have now, a little at least, replenished
our provision stock; and should the Lord permit us to
enter upon another week, he will surely provide according
to our need,
Nov. 22. Lord’s day. The Lord has been again mindful
of our need, and has sent us in the means to meet the
demands of two days. Besides the 11. 10s, which came
in for rent, a brother gave me this morning two sovereigns,
a sister from a distance sent 11., and a brother, who spent
this day with us, put 12s. 6d. into the box at my house,
which our need soon brought out.
Nov. 23. This evening were given, after all the money
had been again disbursed, 2 gold rings, 5 small silver
coins, a silver ring, 5 silver studs, a silver buckle, a pair
of ear-rings, a necklace, and a little box.
Nov. 25. As only 3s. 6d. had come in for knitting
since the 22nd, we were now again very poor. The boxes
in the Orphan-Houses were opened, but only 1s. was
found in them. In this our poverty 6l. came in this after-
noon for some of the articles which had been sent from


A.D. 1840.] 369
Stafford on Oct. 3rd, and which had been sold some time
since. This money had been expected for some time, but
came in only now, in this our great need. In the
evening came in still further 2l. from the East Indies.
Nov. 26. To-day were sent from Newport, near Barn-
staple, 2 rings, a brooch and 4s. *
Nov. 27. This morning I received 4!. from a sister in
T}ublin, before we were really in need; but this donation
came very seasonably to meet the large demands of to-
morrow, Saturday, for which there is nothing in hand.
There was also taken out of the boxes in the Orphan
Flouses, this afternoon, 2l. 12s. 6d.
Nov. 28. Saturday. There has come in again 11. to-
day. Thus the Lord has bountifully supplied our need
during this week, always sending the means without
allowing us to be so deeply tried as during the two pre-
vious weeks.
Nov. 29. The Lord’s loving hand has again to-day
provided richly for the Orphans, for at least two days.
There came in altogether 6l. 19s. 6d. .
Dec. 1. To-day we were so poor as to the Orphan-Fund,
that we should not have been able to meet the demands
of the day. But the Lord’s loving heart remembered us.
There came in this morning 5l. 7s. for some of the articles
which were sent some time since from Stafford. I have
purposely again and again mentioned how the help, which
the love of some saints at Leeds and Stafford sent, deli-
vered us, that it might be manifest that those donors were
directed by the Lord in this matter.
Dec. 2. When to-day there was again but little money
in hand, because of the disbursements of yesterday, D. C.
brought me 2!., which his wife, a sister, had saved out of
housekeeping, for the benefit of the Orphans. About an
hour, after I had received this 2l., there was sent, in two
post-office-orders, 6l. 4s. 6d. by a sister, being the produce
of the sale of some trinkets; of which sum one half is to
be used for the benefit of the Orphans, and the other half
for my own personal necessities. Thus the Lord has by
this donation also provided for myself and family, when
we were in much need.
Dec. 5. Saturday morning. Yesterday afternoon a sister
left two sovereigns at my house for the Orphans. The
Lord, in the love of his heart, remembered our Saturdays'
370 [A.D. 1840.
necessities, and sent in this supply; for there was only
18s. 6d. in hand when this money came, and 27. 12s, is
needed for this day. Evening. As there was now again
only 6s. 6d. in hand, I gave myself to prayer, and, imme-
diately after I had risen from my knees, Il. 5s. 6d. was
given to me, for things which had been sold, being chiefly
articles which had been sent from Stafford. There was
also a flute left anonymously at my house, this evening.
Dec. 6. To-day there came in still further 21, 2s. 6d.
Dec. 7. Again 11. 11s. has come in.
Dec. 9. Morning. This is the last day of the fifth
year of the Orphan work. Hitherto the Lord has helped
us! This morning there was only 1, 1s. 9d. in hand, but
11. 7s. was needed for the supply of to-day. I therefore
opened the box in my house, in which 2s. 6d. was found.
This 17. 4s. 3d. I sent off to the Orphan-Houses.
JEvening. There came in during this day 11.6s. 6d.; out
of this I had to pay away 11.2s., so that now, at the close of
the year, though the balance amounts to 15l. Os. 64d.,
there is only 4s. 64d. in hand, as the rest has been put by
for the rent, which is due up to this time. With this
4s. 64d., we have now to commence the sixth year, leaning
upon the living God, who most assuredly during this
year also will help us in every way, as our circumstances
may call for it.
At the close of these details (with reference to the year
from Dec. 9, 1839, to Dec. 9, 1840) Imake a few remarks
in connexion with them.
1. Though our trials of faith during this year also have
been many, and recurring more frequently than during
any previous year, and though we have been often reduced
to the greatest extremity; yet the Orphans have lacked
nothing; for they have always had good nourishing food,
and the necessary articles of clothing, etc.
2. Should it be supposed by any one in reading the
plain details of our trials of faith during this year, that on
account of them we have been disappointed in our ex-
pectations, or are discouraged in the work, my answer is,
that the very reverse is the fact. Such days were expected
from the commencement of the work; nay, more than
this, the chief end for which the Institution was esta-
blished is, that the Church of Christ at large might be
A.D. 1840.] 3.71
benefited by seeing manifestly the hand of God stretched
out on our behalf in the hour of need, in answer to
prayer. Our desire, therefore, is not that we may be
without trials of faith, but that the Lord graciously would
be pleased to support us in the trial, that we may not
dishonour him by distrust.
3. This way of living brings the Lord remarkably near.
He is, as it were, morning by morning inspecting our
stores, that accordingly he may send help. Greater and
more manifest nearness of the Lord’s presence I have
never had, and when after breakfast there were no means
for dinner, and then the Lord provided the dinner for
more than one hundred persons; or when, after dinner,
there were no means for the tea, and yet the Lord
provided the tea; and all this without one single human
being having been informed about our need. This more-
over I add, that although we, who have been eye witnesses
of these gracious interpositions of our Father, have not
been so benefited by them as we might and ought to
have been, yet we have in some measure derived blessings
from them. One thing is certain, that we are not tired
of doing the Lord’s work in this way. -
4. It has been more than once observed, that such a
way of living must lead the mind continually to think
whence food, clothes, etc., are to come, and so unfit for
spiritual exercises. Now, in the first place, I answer,
that our minds are very little tried about the necessaries
of life, just because the care respecting them is laid upon
our Father, who, because we are his children, not only
allows us to do so, but will have us to do so. Secondly,
it must be remembered, that, even if our minds were
much tried about the supplies for the children, and the
means for the other work, yet, because we look to the
Lord alone for these things, we should only be brought
by our sense of need, into the presence of our Father,
for the supply of it; and that is a blessing, and no injury
to the soul. Thirdly, our souls realize that for the glory
of God, and for the benefit of the church at large it is,
that we have these trials of faith, and that leads again to
God, to ask him for fresh supplies of grace, to be enabled
to be faithful in this service.
5. My heart’s desire and prayer to God is that all
believers, who read this, may by these many answers to
372 [A.D. 1840.
prayer be encouraged to pray, particularly as it regards
the conversion of their friends and relations, their own
state of heart, the state of the Church at large, and the
success of the preaching of the gospel. Do not think,
dear reader, that these things are peculiar to us, and
cannot be enjoyed by all the saints. Although every
child of God is not called by the Lord to establish
Schools and Orphan-Houses, and to trust in the Lord
for means for them; yet there is nothing on the part of
the Lord to hinder, why you may not know, by expe-
rience, far more abundantly than we do now, his willing-
ness to answer the prayers of his children. Do but prove
the faithfulness of God. Do but carry your every want
to him. Only maintain an upright heart. But if you live
in sin; if you wilfully and habitually do things, respect-
ing which you know that they are contrary to the will of
God, then you cannot expect to be heard by him. “If I
regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me :
but verily God hath heard me; he hath attended to the
voice of my prayer.” Psalm lxvi. 18, 19.
6. As it regards the children of God, who by the labour
of their hands, or in any business or profession, earn their
bread, particularly the poorer classes of them, I give my
affectionate yet solemn advice, to carry into practice
the principles on which this Institution is conducted,
as it regards not going into debt. Are you in debt P
then make confession of sin respecting it. Sincerely
confess to the Lord that you have sinned against Rom.
xiii. 8. And if you are resolved no more to contract
debt, whatever may be the result, and you are waiting on
the Lord, and truly trust in him, your present debts will
soon be paid. Are you out of debt P then whatever your
future want may be, be resolved, in the strength of Jesus,
rather to suffer the greatest privation, whilst waiting upon
God for help, than to use unscriptural means, such as
borrowing, taking goods on credit, etc., to deliver your-
selves. This way needs but to be tried, in order that its
excellency may be enjoyed.
On Dec. 14, 15, 16, and 25, we had public meetings, at
which the account of the Lord's dealings with us during
the last year, in respect of the Orphan-Houses, Schools,
etc., was given, for the benefit of any who desired to come.
A.D. 1840.] 373
In answer to prayer, many persons came, and the Lord
gave help to brother Craik and me in speaking. The
preceding part of the Narrative gives the substance of
what was stated at those meetings, in reference to the
many answers to prayer which the Lord has granted to us
during the past year. There are a few points more, which
may be of interest to the believing reader, and which were
then mentioned, which I shall now add.
1. There have been, during this year also, six Day
Schools for poor children entirely supported by the funds
of our Institution, all of which have been established
by us.
Besides this, the rent for the school room of a seventh
School, carried on by a sister who is known to us, has
been paid, and two other such Schools out of Bristol,
have been assisted with Bibles and Testaments.
The number of all the children that have had schooling
in the Day Schools through the medium of the Institu-
tion, since its formation, amounts to 2216; the number
of those at present in the six Day Schools is 303.
These Day Schools have defrayed, by the payments of
the children, about the sixth part of their own expenses.
2. There is one Sunday School entirely supported by
the funds of the Institution.
3. There has been since the formation of the Institu-
tion one Adult School connected with it, in which, on
the Lord’s day afternoons, since that time, about 150
adults have been instructed.
This School has been discontinued at the close of this
year, and instead of it it is purposed to have a regular
Evening School for adults who cannot read. It is pur-
posed to instruct them for about an hour and a half in
reading and writing twice a week, and afterwards to read
the Scriptures for a short time to them, and to bring the
truth before them. The School will commence at seven
o'clock in the evening, and the instruction will be alto-
gether free.
4. The number of Bibles and Testaments which have
been circulated through the medium of our Institution,
during the last year, amounts to 452 copies.
There have been circulated since March 5, 1834, six
thousand and forty-four copies of the Scriptures.
5. There have been laid out during the last year, of the
|K K
374 [A.D. 1840.
funds of the Institution, 120l. 10s. 2d. for Missionary
purposes. **
6. There are at present 91 Orphans in the three houses.
The total number of the Orphans who have been under
our care from April 11, 1836, to Dec. 9, 1840, amounts
to 129.
I notice further the following points in connexion with
the Orphan-Houses.
1. Without any one having been asked for any thing by
ws, the sum of 3,9371. 1s. 1d. has been given to us as the
Tesult of prayer to God, since the commencement of the
work. 2. Besides this also, a great variety of provisions,
clothes, furniture, etc. 3. Though there has been during
this year as much, or more sickness, in the Orphan-
FIouses, than during any previous year, yet I own to the
praise of the Lord publicly, that it has been very little,
considering the number of the children.
For the future, we purpose, according to the time,
means, etc., which the Lord may be pleased to give us, to
attend to a fifth object, the circulation of such publica-
tions, as may be beneficial, with the blessing of God, to
benefit both believers and unbelievers. We purpose
either to buy or print tracts for unbelievers, and to sell
them, or have them distributed, as opportunity may be
given; and to buy or print such publications, for circula-
tion, as may be instrumental in directing the minds of
believers to those truths which in these last days are more
especially needed, or have been particularly lost sight of,
and which may lead believers to return to the written
word of God.
THE BLESSING OF THE LORD UPON THE WORK IN
IREFERENCE TO THE SOULS OF THE CIHILDREN.
1. During the last fourteen months there have been
meetings purposely for children, at which the Scriptures
have been expounded to them. At these meetings, an
almost universal attention is manifested by them, which I
thankfully ascribe to the Lord, and upon which I look as
a forerunner of greater blessing.
2. During the last year three of the Sunday School
children have been received into fellowship. -
3. At the end of last year there had been eight Orphans
A.D. 1840.] 375
received into communion: during the present year four-
teen have been received : in all twenty-two.
4. Of those two who died during this year, one was an
infant, and the other a girl of about twelve years old.
The latter, on the whole, a well behaved child, was for
months ill in consumption before she died. The nearer
she came to the end of her life, the greater was the solici-
tude of those under whose care she was, respecting the
state of her heart, as she was evidently unprepared for
eternity. But now we saw, what never had been witnessed
in any other of the children to such a degree. This, on
the whole, naturally amiable, meek, and quiet child, mani-
fested not merely complete indifference to the truth, the
nearer she came to the close of her life ; but also showed
much aversion, and, as far as she could, great emnity to
the truth. At last she was evidently dying, yet altoge-
ther unprepared for death. In this state all the Orphans
in the Girls'-Orphan-House were assembled together,
and the awful state of this dying child was pointed out to
the unbelieving Orphans as a warning, and to the be-
lieving Orphans as a subject for gratitude to God on behalf
of themselves, that they, by grace, were in a different
state; and it was laid on their hearts to give themselves
to prayer for their dying companion. The labourers in
the work were sustained to hope still, and to pray still,
though Charlotte Lee remained opposed to the truth
while in this dying state. However, unexpectedly she
lived ten days longer, and about two days before her
death she was so altogether different, that we have hope
in her end.
It was stated in the last year's Report, that we were
looking for fruit upon our labours as it regards the conver-
sion of the children, as the Lord had given to us a
measure of earnestness in praying for them. The Lord
has dealt with us according to our expectations. But I
expect far more than what we have seen. While the chief
object of our work has been, and is still, the manifesta-
tion of the heart of God towards his children, and the
reality of power with God in prayer, yet, as we hoped,
and as it has been our prayer, the Lord gives to us also
the joy of seeing one child after another brought to stand
openly on the Lord's side.—As far as my experience goes,
it appears to me that believers generally have expected
K K 2
376 [A.D. 1840.
far too little of present fruit upon their labours among
children. There has been a hoping that the Lord some
day or other would own the instruction which they give
to children, and would answer at some time or other,
though after many years only, the prayers which they
offer up on their behalf. Now, while such passages as
Proverbs xxii, 6, Ecclesiastes xi. 1, Galatians vi. 9, 1 Cor.
xv. 58, give untous assurance not merely respecting every
thing which we do for the Lord, in general, but also re-
specting bringing up children in the fear of the Lord, in
particular, that our labour is not in vain in the Lord :
yet we have to guard against abusing such passages, by
thinking it a matter of little moment whether we see
present fruit or not; but on the contrary, we should give
the Lord no rest till we see present fruit, and therefore in
persevering, yet submissive, prayer, we should make
known our requests unto God. I add, as an encourage-
ment to believers who labour among children, that during
the last two years seventeen other young persons or chil-
dren, from the age of eleven and a half to seventeen,
have been received into fellowship among us, and that I
am looking out now for many more to be converted, and
that not merely of the Orphans, but of the Sunday and
Day School children. As in so many respects we live in
remarkable times, so in this respect also, that the Lord is
working greatly among the children in many places.
I most earnestly solicit all who know the reality of our
privilege as the children of God, even that we have power
with God, to help us with their prayers, that many more
of the children may soon be converted, and that those who
have made a profession of faith in the Lord Jesus may be
enabled so to walk, as that the name of Jesus may be
magnified by them. The believing reader must know
how great the aim of Satan will be to lead those children,
who, from nine years old, and upward, have been received
into fellowship, back again into the world, and thereby
seek to lead believers to give up looking for real conver-
sion among children.
The total of the expenses connected with the objects of
the Institution, exclusive of the Orphan-Houses, from
Nov. 19, 1839, to Nov. 19, 1840, is 6221. 2s. 64d. The
balance in hand on Nov. 19, 1840, was 13!. 2s. 9%d.
The total of the expenses connected with the three
A.D. 1840.] 377
Orphan-Houses, from Dec. 9, 1839, to Dec. 9, 1840, is
900l. 11s. 2%d. The balance in hand on Dec. 9, 1840,
was 15l. 1s. 6+d.
Dec. 23. There was sent to us for ourselves, anony-
mously, a piece of beef, which came very seasonably, as
we are just now again very poor.
Dec. 26. This morning a poor brother, who, like our-
selves, lives in dependance upon the Lord for his temporal
supplies, whilst serving the Lord in the ministry of the
word, and who has been several days staying with us, gave
to my wife 8s. 6d., for our own personal necessities,
saying, that we might need it. This is indeed a most
remarkable donation, both because of the individual from
whom it came, and because of its having been given just
now; for without it we should not have been able to pro-
vide for our temporal necessities this day.
REVIEW OF THE YEAR 1840.
I. As to the church.
68 brethren and sisters brother Craik and I found in
communion, when we came to Bristol.
687 have been admitted into communion since we came
to Bristol.
755 would be, therefore, the total number of those in fel-
lowship with us, had there been no changes, But,
79 have left Bristol.
55 have left us, but are still in Bristol.
44 are under church discipline.
52 have fallen asleep !
230 are therefore to be deducted from 755, so that
there are only 525 at present in communion.
114 have been added during the past year, of whom 47
have been brought to the knowledge of the Lord among
us, and 24 besides, though they knew the Lord, had never
been in fellowship any where: 43 had been at some time
or other in fellowship, but most of them with saints not
residing in Bristol.
K K 3
378
[A.D. 1840.
II. As to the supply of my temporal necessities:
1. The Lord has been pleased to send me
by the Freewill Offerings of the
saints among whom I labour, through
the instrumentality of the boxes
2. Through saints in and out of Bristol, by
presents in money . . . . . .
3. Through family connexion gº º
4. In provisions, clothes, etc. worth to us,
at least ©
#128 5 10;
100 5 1
8 18 0
END OF THE SECOND PART.
5 0 O
£242 8 11;
ºgºsºsºme
A.
N A R R A T | WE
OF SOME OF
T H E L () R. D'S DEA LIN G. S
WITH
GEORGE MüLLER.
WRITTEN BY HIMSELF.
THIRD PART.
Qſìjitty #ftftion.
J. NIS BET & CO., BERNERS STREET, LONDON.
TO BE HAD ALSO IN BRISTOL,
AT. W. WHEREAT’s, No. 7, CORN STREET; AND AT THE BIBLE AND
TRACT WAREHOUSE OF THE SCRIPTURAL ENOWLEDGE
INSTITUTION FOR HOME AND ABROAD, No.34, PARK STREET;
AND THROUGH ALL BOOKSELLERS.
1855.
[Entered at Stationers' Hall.]
IONDON :
PRINTED BY J. DAVY AND Sons, 137, LONG ACRE,
P. R. E. F. A. C. E.
TO THE
FIRST EDITION OF THE THIRD PART.
THE reasons which induced me to publish this third part
of the Lord’s dealings with me are the same which led me
to the publication of the second part, and which are stated
in the preface to the first edition of the second part. In
addition to those reasons it appeared to me desirable to
give some account of my recent labours in Germany, and
also to write on a few other points, which I considered
of great importance to be made known.
GEORGE MüLLER.
21, Paul Street, Kingsdown,
Bristol, June 18, 1845.
PR E E A C E
TO THE
THIRD EDITION OF THE TIIIRD PART.
THE same reasons which have induced me to publish the
fifth edition of the first part, have also led me to publish
this third edition of the third part. It is, with very few
alterations, just as the former edition. A few paragraphs
have been left out, for the sake of brevity.
GEORGE MüLLER.
21, Paul Street, Kingsdown, Bristol,
November, 1855.
A.
N A R RATIVE,
&c. &c.
THIRD PART.
IN the deep consciousness of my entire natural inability for
going through the work which is before me to the profit of
the reader and to the glory of God, I am nevertheless of
good cheer in beginning this service; for the Lord has
enabled me often to bow my knees before him, to seek his
help respecting it; and I am now eagecting his help. He
delights in making his strength perfect in our weakness,
and therefore will I also, though so weak, look for his
strength. And if through this my feeble effort, to show
forth the praises of the Lord, good be done (of which I
have the fullest assurance, on account of the abundance of
supplication which for many months past has been found
in my spirit in reference to this service,) I do desire from
my inmost soul to ascribe all the honour and glory to the
Lord.
I purpose in writing this third part of my Narrative to
adopt the same mode which I employed in the two former
parts, namely that of giving extracts from my journal, and
accompanying them with such remarks as it may be de-
sirable to make for the profit of the reader. The second
part carries on the Narrative up to the end of the year
1840, so far as it regards my own personal affairs, but only
to Dec. 9, 1840, so far as it regards the Orphan-Houses
and other objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution,
as on that day the accounts were closed. From this
period, then, the Narrative is continued.
Dec. 10, 1840. When the accounts were closed last
384 [A.D. 1840.
evening, the balance in hand was 15l. 0s. 64d., but as
nearly 15l. of this sum had been put by for the rent of
the Orphan-Houses, the sum really in hand for use was
only 4s. 64d. With this little sum we commenced the
sixth year of this part of the work, while there are daily,
as usual, more than a hundred persons to be provided for.
—A little boy brought half-a-crown to the Boys'-Orphan-
House, this morning, which is the first gift in this sixth
year. Thus we had altogether 7s. 0#d. for this day, which
was enough to pay for the milk in the three houses, and
to buy some bread in one of them. We have never before
been so poor at the commencement of the year.
Dec. 11. Only 2s. 6d. more had come in since last
evening. There was sufficient for dinner in the Girls’
and Infant-Orphan-Houses, but scarcely enough in the
Boys'-Orphan-House. This half-crown, therefore, sup-
plied the remainder of the dinner in the Boys'-Orphan-
House. But now there was no money to take in milk, in
any of the houses, for tea, or to buy any bread. How-
ever the Lord helped us through this day also. About
one o’clock some trinkets, which had been sent a few days
since, were disposed of for 12s., by which the usual quan-
tity of milk and a little bread could be taken in. [I
observe here that there is generally bread for two or
three days in the houses, the children eating the bread on
the third day after it is baked. When, therefore, we are
unable to take in the usual quantity, for want of means,
we procure stale bread afterwards.]
Dec. 12. Only 4s. had come in to meet this day’s neces-
sities. Thus we should not have had sufficient means to
provide for the dinner in the Girls'-Orphan-House, had
not 6s. come in this morning just in time to help us
through the difficulty. Still we had no means to buy
bread, and a few other little things which were needed.
In addition to all this it was Saturday, and therefore
provisions for two days needed to be procured. About
four o’clock this afternoon, one of the sisters in the
Orphan-Houses, to whom I had some days since sent a
little money for her own personal necessities, gave 11.
Thus we were able to purchase sufficient provisions to
last till breakfast on Monday morning. These last days
have been very trying. The poverty has been greater
than ever; the Lord, however, has not confounded us,

A.D. 1840.] 385
but has strengthened our faith, and always given us
IlêCêSS3.1°16S.
The School-Funds are also now again very low. There
was only so much money in hand, as that two of the
teachers, really in need, could be paid to-day. Truly, my
dear fellow-labourers in the schools need to trust the
Lord for their temporal supplies 1 [I notice here, that,
though the brethren and sisters have a certain remu-
neration, yet it is understood that, if the Lord should not
be pleased to send in the means at the time when their
salary is due, I am not considered their debtor. Should
the Lord be pleased to send in means afterwards, the
remainder of the salary is paid up, and also additional
assistance is given in time of sickness or more than usual
need, as the Lord may be pleased to grant the means. A
brother or sister, in connexion with this work, not looking
for themselves to the Lord, would be truly uncomfortable;
for the position of all of us is of such a character, that it
brings heavy trials of faith, in addition to the many pre-
cious seasons of joy on account of answers to prayer.]
Dec. 13. Lord’s day. This morning I received 21. 10s.
Thus, before the last provisions are actually consumed in
the Orphan-Houses, I have been able to give fresh
supplies.
Dec. 14. Though 27. 10s. had come in yesterday, there
was still not sufficient this morning to buy coals in the
Boys’ and Girls'-Orphan-Houses. But the Lord kindly
supplied us with means for that also; for there were given
to-day six silver tea-spoons, and a pair of silver sugar
tongs. I received also 11.10s. which yesterday had been
anonymously given for rent. Thus the Lord, in this par-
ticular also, again begins the year with blessing. [As
during the two previous years 17. 10s, a week was anony-
mously given to pay for the rent of the three Orphan-
Houses, so during the whole of this year also, from
Dec. 10, 1840, to Dec. 10, 1841, the donor continued the
same contribution.] This evening was the first of our
public meetings, at which I gave the account of the Lord's
dealings with us, in regard to this work, during the last
year. It was a good season. I felt much assisted by the
Lord, and was, through grace, very happy, so that none of
those who were present can have read in my countenance
that I have nothing at all in hand towards the supply of the
L L .
386 [A.D. 1840.
necessities of to-morrow. After the meeting this evening
2}d. was left anonymously at my house.
Dec. 15. The day commenced with 2; d. in hand. My
eyes were directed to the living God. I was looking out
for help. The greatness of our need led me to expect it.
About eleven o’clock I received from Barnstaple a 5l. note
and half-a-sovereign. Thus the Lord in his faithful love
delivered us. Half an hour afterwards I had the report
from the Orphan-Houses about the state of things to-day,
which will show how seasonably the money from Barn-
staple came. Brother R. B., master at the Boys'-Orphan-
House, wrote that last evening a sister gave 5s, and a
cloak, but that there never was less bread in the Orphan-
IHouses at any time than this morning, and that both in
the Boys’ and Infant-Orphan-Houses all bread had been
cut up for use.—We are now waiting on the Lord for
means to enable us to have the Report printed. Till he
provides, we will, by his help, do nothing in this matter.
Though it seems to us important that the account of the
Lord's dealings with us in this work should be made
known to the saints generally; yea, though this is the
primary object of the work; nevertheless it appears to us
a small matter for our kind and loving Father, who with-
holds nothing from his children that is really good for
them, to give us the sum which we need for this purpose,
whenever his time shall have come. We do desire grace
even in this thing to acknowledge him ; for his time may
not yet have come for us to have the sweet privilege of
sending forth far and wide the account of his goodness to
us during the past year. -
Dec. 16. To-night I received with Ecclesiastes ix. 10,
11. 10s., and 12s. from another individual; also a Spanish
dollar was sent. Thus we have something for the neces-
sities of to-morrow.
Dec. 17. To-day came in 3s., and from Bath 47.6s. 8d.;
also 2ſ., the produce of the sale of ladies’ baskets.
Dec. 19. Only 11s. 2d. has come in since the day before
yesterday. As I had to pay out to-day 6l. 10s., it being
Saturday, we have now again only 5s. 9d. left, which is
just enough to meet the expense of a parcel, the arrival of
which has been announced. Thus we still have no means
for printing the Report. The Lord's time seems not yet
to have come.
A.D. 1841.] 387
This afternoon came in from Exmouth 17. 10s. 5d. for
the other objects, so that, with what there was in hand,
the teachers of the Day-Schools who were in need could
be supplied. -
Dec. 20. The Lord has again sent in rich supplies.
Be remembered that there was nothing in hand for the
Orphans, and that we, who care for them, desire, through
grace, not to be anxiously concerned about the morrow.
There came in to-day altogether 6l. 17s.
Dec. 25. This morning there was 57, given to me by a
brother, to be used as most needed. As there is a little
left for the Orphans, but about 5l. needed, to-morrow, for
the Schools, and there are only a few shillings in hand, I
took this money for these funds.
Jan. 1, 1841. Since Dec. 20 has come in not only as
much, as was needed, but more. Of the donations which
were given, I only notice: A sister brought the produce
of her silver spoons, which she had sold, having had it laid
on her heart to do so through the last public meetings.
During this week we have daily met for prayer, for the
especial purpose of asking the Lord to give us the means
of having the last year's Report printed. It is three
weeks since it might have been sent to the press. We felt
this now to be a matter of especial importance, as, if the
Beport were not soon printed, it would be known that it
arose from want of means. By the donations which came
in during these last days for the Orphans, and by 10!.
which was given to-day for the other funds, we have the
means of defraying the expense of about two-thirds of the
printing, and therefore a part of the manuscript was sent
off, trusting that the Lord would be pleased to send in
more means before two sheets are printed off; but if not,
we should then stop till we have more.—Evening. There
came in still further 5l. ; also 10s., and 3s.
Jan. 2. To-day 18s. came in, and the following articles
were sent anonymously to the Girls'-Orphan-House: A
smelling bottle, a metal chain and cross, a silver pencil
case, a mother-of-pearl ring, a pebble, a necklace clasp,
2 pairs of studs, and 6 chimney ornaments. There were
also sent anonymously, this evening, 2 pairs of skates.—
There was needed to-day 17. 1s. 6d. more than there was
in hand, to pay the salaries of the teachers in the Day-
Schools. About noon a sister brought three small dona-
L L 2
388 [A.D. 1841.
tions, amounting to 9s.; and a sovereign came in by post.
Thus our need has been more than supplied.
Jan. 3. This morning a brooch was given to me, set
with a brilliant and 10 small emeralds. The stones are to
be sold for the benefit of the Orphans, and the gold
returned. I received also the following sums: From a
sister, in Bristol, 5l. ; from the East Indies 27. ; from
Devonshire 27, 10s., and a silver vinaigrette; anonymousl
put into the boxes at Bethesda 2s., ditto by I. L. 3s.6d.,
ditto for rent 11. 10s. ; and by sale of articles 1s. 6d.
Thus the Lord has sent in to-day 11!. 7s., in answer to
our united prayer during the last week.
Jan. 4. To-day the following trinkets were given, to be
disposed of for the benefit of the Orphans, or on behalf of
the other objects. [They were taken for the latter, there
being only about 7s. in hand.] Two chains and crosses of
Soap beads, an amber necklace, a bead necklace, a gold
Maltese cross and chain, a Brazilian gold chain, a pearl
hair brooch, a pearl cross, a mother-of-pearl buckle, 2
rings, a necklace snap, a moonstone brooch, a brooch of
Ceylon stones, a pair of bracelet snaps, a gold brooch, a
gilt vinaigrette, a pair of buckles, and a box. [The money
which was obtained for the greater part of these trinkets,
supplied our need on Saturday, January 9th.]
Jan. 11, Monday. During the last week the Lord not
only supplied us richly with all we needed for the Orphans,
but enabled us to put by several pounds towards printing
the Report. On Saturday evening there was only 3s. 6d.
left. On this account I was looking out for answers to my
prayers for means, and the Lord did not disappoint me.
There came in altogether yesterday 91.16s. 4d. We have
now enough even for the last part of the Report. Thus
the Lord has been pleased to answer our prayers in this
respect also. This afternoon when there was again onl
2s. 6d. in hand, came in by sale of articles 31. 9s. 6d., and
by a donation 5l.
Jan. 12. To-day I have received a letter from a brother,
in which he empowers me to draw upon his bankers, during
this year to the amount of 1000l., for any brethren who
have it in their hearts to give themselves to missionary
service in the East Indies, and whom I shall consider
called for this service, as far as I am able to judge. [This
power lasted only for that year; but no brethren who

A.D. 1841.] 389
seemed to be suitable offered themselves for this service.
This is another fresh proof, how much more easily pecu-
niary means can be obtained than suitable individuals.
Indeed in all my experience I have found it thus, that if
I could only settle that a certain thing to be done was
according to the will of God, the means were soon ob-
tained to carry it into effect.]
Jan. 13. This evening I was called to the house of a
brother and sister who are in the deepest distress. The
brother had become surety for the debts of his son, not in
the least expecting that he ever should be called upon for
the payment of them; but as his son has not discharged
his debts, the father has been called upon to do so; and
except the money is paid within a few days, he will be
imprisoned.
How precious it is, even for this life, to act according to
the word of God! This perfect revelation of his mind
gives us directions for every thing, even the most minute
affairs of this life. It commands us: “Be not thou one
of them that strike hands, or of them that are sureties for
debts.” Prov. xxii. 26. The way in which Satan ensnares
persons, to bring them into the net, and to bring trouble
upon them by becoming sureties, is, that he seeks to
represent the matter as if there were no danger connected
with that particular case, and that one might be sure one
should never be called upon to pay the money; but the
Lord, the faithful Friend, tells us in his own word that
the only way in such a matter “to be sure” is, “to hate
suretiship.” Prov. xi. 15. The following points seem to
me of solemn moment for consideration, if I were called
upon to become surety for another: 1. What obliges the
person who wishes me to become surety for him, to need
a surety? Is it really a good cause in which I am called
upon to become surety? I do not remember ever to have
met with a case, in which in a plain, and godly, and in all
respects Scriptural matter such a thing occurred. There
was generally some sin or other connected with it. 2. If
I become surety, notwithstanding what the Lord has said
to me in his word, am I in such a position that no one
will be injured by my being called upon to fulfil the
engagements of the person for whom I am going to be
surety P In most instances this alone ought to keep One
from it. 3. If still I become surety, the amount of
L I, 3
390 [A.D. 1841.
money for which I become responsible, must be so in my
power, that I am able to produce it whenever it is called
for, in order that the name of the Lord may not be dis-
honoured. 4. But if there be the possibility of having to
fulfil the engagements of the person in whose stead I have
to stand, is it the will of the Lord, that I should spend
my means in that way ? Is it not rather his will that my
means should be spent in another way P 5. How can I
get over the plain word of the Lord, which is to the con-
trary, even if the first four points could be satisfactorily
settled P
This morning (Jan. 13) I had again not one penny in
hand for the Orphans, though there was enough for to-day
at the Orphan-Houses, as I had sent yesterday sufficient
for two days. The little stock being exhausted, I had
been led to the Lord in prayer for fresh supplies, when
soon afterwards a brother called on me, who stated that,
in considering the necessities of the poor, on account of
the cold season, the Orphans had likewise been brought
to his mind, and that he had brought me 151. for them.
This afternoon came in still further 17, from two sisters,
as a thank-offering for many mercies during the past year.
Likewise 10l. “Erom a friend in Christ for the Orphans'-
House.” Further: by sale of articles 21. 4s. 6d., by
knitting 11.4s., by Reports 9d., and by four donations 13s.
Thus the Lord has been pleased to send in this day alto-
gether 30l. 2s. 8d., whilst, when the day commenced, I
had nothing at all in hand.
Jan. 23. This day commenced without anything in
hand. In addition to this it was Saturday. About nine
o'clock Q. Q. called to see me, but, as I was in prayer
with my family, she did not stay. About half an hour
afterwards she called a second time, gave 5l. for the Or-
phans, and said “I bring this because it is Saturday,
and it may be needed.” This sister was not deterred by
not seeing me the first time, because our Father knew we
had need of this money. There was likewise 5s. given
me this afternoon, and when the sister gave it she said,
“I bring this to-day because it is Saturday.”
Jan. 25. 21, 19s. 10d. came in yesterday and this
morning. When the necessities of the day had been
supplied, and there was only 12s. 10d. left, I received a
parcel, from an unknown donor. It contained 1 lb. and
A.D. 1841.] 391
6 oz. of worsted and 4 sovereigns, with the following
note:-‘‘Your Father knoweth that ye have need of these
things.’ ‘All things whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer,
believing, ye shall receive.’ An Orphan sends 31, for the
Orphans, and 11. for Mr. G. Müller’s own necessities, Jan.
23, 1841.”
Reb. 1. To-day we had not sufficient money for our
own personal necessities, when we were helped in the
following way. Some months ago several articles were
sent to my dear wife from a distance of about 200 miles,
which she did not at all need, and which therefore had
been placed into the hands of a sister to be disposed of.
This was only now done, and to-day, in this our need, the
money was brought for them, being 11.10s. 6d.
Feb. 4. Since Jan 25, there has come in 10l. 14s. 11d.
for the Orphans. This morning a brother from Glouces-
tershire brought me a doubloon, (18% pennyweights of
fine gold,) a Spanish dollar, 2 small Spanish coins, 4 old
Dnglish crown pieces, 2 old English half-crown pieces, 3
old shillings, 2 old sixpences, and an old twopenny piece.
He told me that he had purposed to come a day sooner,
but that, though he was quite prepared for his journey,
his business did not allow him to leave home, but that
immediately, when these coins were given to him for the
Orphans, he was able to leave. On his arrival in Bristol,
this brother was asked by a gentleman, a fellow passenger,
to go with him, but he replied he must go at once to me.
On mentioning my name, the Gloucestershire brother was
asked whether he did not believe that it was all chance
work about the Orphan-Houses. He replied no, and
showed him the handful of gold and silver coins, which he
had received for the Orphan-Houses, and which he felt
himself constrained at once to deliver.—There was also
given this day a valuable gold lever watch.--Though these
donations of to-day were not needed to supply the neces-
sities of the children, yet they came very seasonably, and
as the answer to many prayers which I had lately offered
up to the Lord, to enable me to give 267, to the labourers
in the Orphan-Houses, for their own personal necessities.
Feb. 6. At the close of this week there is nothing at
all in hand, either in the Orphan-Fund or in the other
funds; but the Lord has enabled me to meet all the ex-
penses of the week, which only yesterday and to-day were
above 30l.
392 [A.D. 1841.
Feb. 7. In answer to prayer, when we were without
any money for the Orphans, came in to-day altogether
27, 18s.
Eeb. 10. There came in yesterday and the day before
several small donations; also by post, anonymously, a
sovereign and a diamond ring from Leamington; but we
are now again without means. May the Lord help us !
—Evening. There came in by sale of articles 10s., by
sale of Reports 10s., and by a donation 1s. 6d. I also
opened the box in my house, in which I found 11. 0s. 6d.
A sovereign had been put in by a brother from Stafford,
who had already left my house, but felt himself con-
strained to return, in order to put in this money.
Peb. 12. Last evening there was left at my house,
anonymously, a letter containing two sovereigns, in which
was written, “For the Orphan-House 2!.” This 21. is
eaactly what is needed for to-day.
Feb. 13. Saturday morning. The Lord sent in yes-
terday 11.15s. which, though not enough for this day, was
a little to commence with. Evening. Scarcely had I sent
off this morning the 11.15s. to the Orphan-Houses, when
I received from Clapham 91.6s. 6d., and 6 yds. of calico
for the Orphans, so that 11. more, which was needed to
meet this day’s demands, could be supplied. There came
in also 14s. 6d.
We are very poor in reference to the funds for the
other objects, and have now determined to meet daily for
prayer, till the Lord may be pleased to send help.
There are now four sisters in the Lord staying at our
house. This morning we had only 2s. left of our own
money, when there was sent to us for ourselves from Clap-
ham a sovereign and 2 lbs. of tea; and from Manchester
5 shillings’ worth of postages. Thus the Lord has kindly
helped us for the present.
Feb. 14. The Lord has had pity, and helped us in some
measure. A brother gave me 5l. for the first four objects
of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution.
Feb. 22. Since the 14th there has come in still fur-
ther for the first four objects 6s. 1d., 13s. 4d., 2s. 6d.,
1!., and 5l., besides what has come in by the sale of Bibles,
etc. Thus we have been able to meet all the expenses of
this week.
March 4. From February 22 up to this day our neces.

A.D. 1841.] 393
sities in the Day Schools were supplied by thirteen small
donations, and by a donation of 8l. from Q. Q. To-day
I received the following letter:- -
“Dear Brother.
I yesterday happened to meet with one of your
Reports of the Orphan Institution for the last year, which
I have read with much interest. I was not before at all
aware how entirely you subsisted day by day on the good
providence of the Lord, and it is very wonderful to see
his constant care of such of his children as walk uprightly,
and put their trust in him. It must be very blessed thus
to know and feel his care from day to day, in makin
bread and water sure. I am concerned to find that there
was so much need at the time I saw you in . . . .
and that I did not assist you; but I will delay no longer,
for there may be equal need now ; and as I find many
sums given with the text Ecclesiastes ix. 10, it reminds
me, not to put off till to-morrow that which should be
done to-day. Just before I fell in with your Report, I
got a little portable money out of the bank, thinking it
might be needed in some such way, so without delay I en-
close it; the amount is 15l., and hope that the Lord will
direct my mind and incline my heart to help you again at
the time of need. I perceive you have a list with the
sums received, and the names of the donors open for in-
spection (though not published, which is well). Please to
insert my donation, and any future ones I may give, under
the initials A. B.”
When this letter arrived, there was not one penny in
hand for the Day Schools, whilst two days after about 71.
was needed. As the money was not given for any parti-
cular part of the work, it was put to this fund. There was
also only 21, in the Orphan-Fund. This money came from
a considerable distance, and from a brother who never had
assisted in this work before, whereby the Lord afresh
shows how easily he can raise up new helpers.
March 11. From Feb. 13 to this day we have had
comparative abundance for the Orphans, as 70 donations
of 10!. and under have come in, also many pounds by sale
of articles and Reports; but now when we had again only
13s. 6d. in hand, not half of what is needed to meet the
necessities of to-morrow, a sister at Plymouth sent 6!.
394 [A.D. 1841.
March 12. There came in still further to-day 5l. from
{{ Fººd, to the Orphan,” besides 2s. 6d., 1s. 6d., 10s., and
8s. 6d.
March 18. To-day I heard of the conversion of a
gentleman, whose believing wife had prayed many years
on behalf of her husband. He was a Roman Catholic
and a great drunkard. But though he had been a Roman
Catholic, he was truly made to rest upon the Lord Jesus
alone for salvation; though he had been a great drunkard,
the power of the Gospel was seen in his case, for he for-
sook his evil ways; and though his wife had had to continue
to pray for him many years, yet at last the Lord answered
the cries of his afflicted handmaid, and gave her the desire
of her heart.
As I know it to be a fact, that many children of God
are greatly tried by having unconverted relatives, I relate
here, for the encouragement of believers who are thus
exercised, two precious facts, the truth of which I know,
and by which the Lord manifested his power in converting
two of the most unlikely individuals, so far as natural
appearance is concerned. Between forty and fifty years
ago it pleased the Lord to convert the wife of a farmer at
Ashburton in Devonshire, whose husband in consequence
became her bitter opposer. This opposition was greatly
increased when he had reason to believe that she was
going to be baptized. The wife, however, thought that,
on account of his great enmity, she would choose a time
for being baptized when he was from home. A time was
therefore chosen when he was to be absent at a fair in
Exeter. The farmer went to the fair; but having learned
on Thursday that his wife was to be baptized at eleven
o'clock the next morning, in haste to return he rose early
on Friday morning, to put a stop to the proceeding.
After he had rode several miles, he said to himself, “No,
I will not go; let her do what she pleases, I will not care
about her at all:” and he therefore rode back again
towards Exeter. But after awhile he altered his mind
again and said to himself, “Nay, I will go, she shall not
have her way;” and he rode again towards Ashburton.
He pursued his way, and then changed his mind a third
time, and turned towards Exeter; but not long after this,
a fourth time he had different thoughts, and determined
to ride home. Now, however, he remembered, that on
A.D. 1841.] 395
account of his having thus gone backwards and forwards,
and that for several miles, he had wasted so much time,
that he could not possibly be at Ashburton by eleven
o'clock, a distance of more than twenty miles from Exeter.
Enraged by this thought he dismounted from his horse
on Haldon Common, between Exeter and Teignmouth,
cut a large stick out of the hedge, and determined to beat
his wife with that stick, as long as a part of it remained.
At last he reached his home, late in the afternoon, and
found his wife had been baptized. In a great rage he
now began to beat her, and continued to do so, till the
stick in his hand was actually broken to pieces. Having
thus most cruelly treated her, her body being full of
bruises, he ordered her to bed. She meekly began to
undress herself, and intended to go to bed, without saying
a word. But when he saw her about to go, he said,
“You shall not sleep in my bed any more. Go to the
children’s bed.” She obeyed. When now on the point
of lying down on the children’s bed, he ran into the
kitchen, fetched a piece of wood, threw her down on the
bed, and was about to begin again to beat her, when sud-
denly he let the piece of wood fall, and went away without
saying a word. The poor suffering wife saw no more of
him that evening or night. On the next morning, Satur-
day, before she had risen, her husband left the house, and
was absent all day till the evening. In the evening the
wife gave him to understand, when retiring for the night,
that according to his wish she was again going to sleep in
the children’s bed, when he meekly said to her, “Will
you not sleep in your own bed P” She thought he meant
to mock her, and would beat her again, if she did go into
her own bed. As, however, he continued in a meek and
kind way to desire her to lie down in her usual bed, she
did so. All night from Saturday to the Lord’s day he
lay groaning by her side, turning about in the bed, but
having no sleep. On the Lord’s day morning he rose
early. . After a while he came to her and said, “My dear,
it is time to get up ; if you will get up and make the
breakfast, I will go with you to the meeting.” Still the
wife thought, he only meant to mock her, and that per-
haps he would beat her again, when she was on the point
of going to the meeting. Nevertheless she rose, prepared
the breakfast, and at last, as he continued meek and kind
396 [A.D. 1841.
as before, she made herself ready to go to the meeting.
How great was the astonishment and surprise of the
people in the small town, where the thing had become
known almost to every one, when arm in arm he walked
with his wife to the meeting and entered it himself, which
he had never done before After the meeting was over
he related before all persons present, what had passed in
his mind between Exeter and Ashburton, how he had
most cruelly beaten his wife, how he had ordered her to
go to the children's bed, how he had run into the kitchen
to fetch a piece of wood to beat his wife a second time,
how he had thrown her on the bed for that purpose, and
how he had already lifted up his hand with the piece of
wood in it, when there was like an audible voice saying
to him: “Why persecutest thou me?” The piece of
wood had then fallen out of his hand, and he had felt
instantly that he was persecuting the Lord Jesus. From
that moment his soul had become most distressed. He
had been sleepless and miserable during the night from
Friday to Saturday. On Saturday morning he had left
the house early in the greatest agonies of soul, and had
been roving about in the fields and neighbouring villages
all the day. He had come home, and spent another sleep-
less night from Saturday to the Lord’s day. And then
passed what has been related.
Erom this time this persecutor became a disciple of the
Lord Jesus. He found peace through the blood of the
Lord Jesus, by faith in his name, and walked about thirty
years in peace and love with his wife, and adorned the
gospel of the grace of God.
His wife outlived him. The husband died more than
thirteen years ago. The aged sister told all the particu-
lars of the case to a brother in the Lord, out of whose
mouth I heard them ; and I have related them faithfully
to the best of my knowledge.
Surely the arm of the Lord is not shortened in our
days In a moment he may turn the heart of the greatest
persecutor. Think on Paul, think on Manasseh
The other case of a remarkable conversion, which I am
about to relate for the encouragement of the believing
reader, occurred in my own country, the kingdom of
Prussia, about the year 1820. I relate it as circum-
stantially as it was brought before me by a brother in the
A.D. 1841.] 397
Lord. Baron von K. had been for many years a disciple
of the Lord Jesus. Even about the commencement of
this century, when there was almost universal darkness
or even open infidelity spread over the whole continent
of Europe, he knew the Lord Jesus; and when about the
year 1806, there was the greatest distress in Silesia
among many thousands of weavers, this blessed man of
God took the following gracious step for his Lord and
Master. As the weavers had no employment, the whole
Continent almost being in an unsettled state on account
of Napoleon’s career, it seemed to him the will of the
Lord, that he should use his very considerable property
to furnish these poor weavers with work, in order to save
them from the greatest state of destitution, though in
doing this there was not only no prospect of gain, but the
certain prospect of immense loss. He therefore found
employment for about six thousand weavers. But he was
not content with this. Whilst he gave the bread which
perishes, he also sought to minister to the souls of these
weavers. To that end he sought to set believers as over-
seers over this immense weaving concern, and not only
saw to it that the weavers were instructed in spiritual
things, but he himself also set the truth before them.
Thus it went on for a good while, till at last, on account
of the loss of the chief part of his property, he was obliged
to think about giving it up. But by this time this pre-
cious act of mercy had so commended itself to the govern-
ment, that it was taken up by them, and carried on till
the times altered. Baron von K. was, however, appointed
director of the whole concern as long as it existed.—This
dear man of God was not content with this. He travelled
through many countries to visit the prisons, for the sake
of improving the temporal and spiritual condition of the
prisoners, and among all the other things which he sought
to do for the Lord, was this also in particular: He
assisted poor students whilst at the university of Berlin,
(especially those who studied divinity, as it is called,) in
order to get access to them, and to win them for the
Lord. One day a most talented young man, whose father
lived at Breslau, where there is likewise a university,
heard of the aged baron's kindness to students, and he
therefore wrote to him, requesting him to assist him, as
his own father could not well afford to support him any
IM M
398 [A. D. 1841.
longer, having other children to provide for. A short
time afterwards young T. received a most kind reply from
the baron, inviting him to come to Berlin; but, before
this letter arrived, the young student had heard that
T}aron von K. was a pietist or mystic (as true believers
are contemptuously called in Germany;) and as young
T. was of a highly philosophical turn of mind, reasoning
about every thing, questioning the truth of revelation,
yea questioning most sceptically the existence of God, he
much disliked the prospect of going to the old baron.
Still, he thought he could but try, and if he did not like
it, he was not bound to remain in connexion with him.
He arrived in Berlin on a day when there was a great
review of the troops; and being full of this he began to
speak about it to the steward of the baron. The steward,
however, being a believer, turned the conversation, before
the young student was aware of it, to spiritual things;
and yet he could not say that it had been forced. He
began another subject, and a third, but still it always
came presently again to spiritual things. At last the
baron came, who received young T. in the most affec-
tionate and familiar manner, as if he had been his equal,
and as if young T. bestowed a favour on him, rather than
that he was favoured by the baron. The baron offered
him a room in his own house, and a place at his own
table, while he should be studying in Berlin, which young
T. accepted. He now sought in every way to treat the
young student in the most kind and affectionate way, and
as much as possible to serve him, and to show him the
power of the Gospel in his own life, without arguing with
him, yea without speaking to him directly about his soul.
For, discovering in young T. a most reasoning and scep-
tical mind, he avoided in every possible way getting into
any argument with him, while the young student again
and again said to himself: “I wish I could get into an
argument with this old fool, I would show him his folly.”
But the baron avoided it. When the young student used
to come home in the evening, and the baron heard him
come, he would himself go to meet him on entering the
house, would light his candle, would assist and serve him
in any way he could, even to the fetching the bootjack for
him, and helping him to take off his boots. Thus this
lowly aged disciple went on for some time, whilst the
A.D. 1841.] 399
young student still sought an opportunity for arguing
with him, but wondered nevertheless how the baron could
thus serve him. One evening, on the return of young;T.
to the baron’s house, when the baron was making him-
self his servant as usual, he could refrain himself no
longer, but burst out thus: “Baron, how can you do all
this P You see I do not care about you, and how are you
able to continue to be so kind to me, and thus to serve
me P” The baron replied: “My dear young friend, I
have learned it from the Lord Jesus. I wish you would
read through the Gospel of John. Good might.” The
student now for the first time in his life sat down and
read the word of God in a disposition of mind to be
willing to learn, whilst up to that time he had never read
the Holy Scriptures but with the view of wishing to find
out arguments against them. It pleased God to bless
him. From that time he became himself a follower of the
Lord Jesus, and has been so ever since.

I continue now the extracts from my journal.
March 19, 1841. It is twelve years this day since I
arrived in England. How exceedingly kind and gracious
has the Lord been to me day by day ever since? And
the Lord has crowned this day also with mercies. I have
been for some time again very weak in body, on account
of which it appeared to me desirable to change my sphere
of labour for awhile, to which I was the more inclined as
H purpose to write the second part of my Narrative, for
which I need more time than I can well find in Bristol
along with my other engagements. To-day I had fully
determined to leave, as I am now exceedingly weak; but
we had no means for it. This morning, after the exposi-
tion of the Scriptures to the Orphan and Day School
children, there was given to me a check for 15l., of which
5l. is for brother Craik, 5l. for myself, and 5l. for the
* Thus my way, even as to means, is made quite
all Il.
March 20. , Nailsworth. I had purposed to take lodg-
ings in the neighbourhood of Tetbury, passing only a night
or so at Nailsworth. When I came here to-day, and heard
about the state of the saints here and in the neighbour-
hood, I could not but think that the Lord had sent me to
this place to labour for a season.
M. M. 2
400 [A.D. 1841.
March 21. I ministered twice to-day among the
brethren at Nailsworth, with much assistance from the
Lord, and feel already much better from the change of air.
March 22. Truly God has sent me here ! Certain
matters which have been brought to light through my
being here, prove it. May the Lord make it still more
abundantly plain that he has sent me here!—There is a
small house, which a brother left a few weeks since, but
has to pay rent for at least three months longer. He will
let me have it rent free, and he and brother mean to
put into it the needful furniture.—Thus the Lord has
provided a lodging, not only for me, but also for all my
family, who can now join me here.
A sister in the Lord in Ireland, who did not see her
acceptance before God, and who was habitually without
the assurance that she is a child of God, that she is born
again, that her sins are forgiven, and that she shall be
saved, in her distress of mind wrote to me about this time.
As her case is by no means a solitary one, but as there
are so many children of God who do not know that they
are children of God; as there are so many whose sins are
forgiven who do not know that they are forgiven; as there
are so many who will be saved, who do not know that they
will be saved, and who are continually afraid of what
would become of them, were they to be taken out of the
world:—I have thought it well to say something here on
this most important subject.
I. Question. How may I obtain the knowledge that I
am a child of God, or that I am born again, or that my
sins are forgiven, or that I shall not perish but have ever-
lasting life?
Answer. Not by my feelings, not by a dream, not by
my experience being like this or that one’s, or unlike this
or that one’s ; but this matter is to be settled, as all other
spiritual matters, entirely by the revealed will of God, the
written word of God, which is the only rule, the only
standard for believers.
II. Question. By what passages, then, for instance, may
I make out that I am a child of God, or born again?
Answer. 1, In 1 John v. 1, it is written: “Whosoever
believeth that Jesus is the Christ is born of God.” The
meaning of these words is evidently this, that every one
(whether young or old, male or female, one who has lived
A.D. 1841.] 401
an outwardly moral or immoral life,) who believes that the
poor, despised Jesus of Nazareth, of whom we read in the
New Testament, was the promised Christ or Messiah,
such a one is no longer in his natural state, but is born
again, is born of God, is a child of God. The question
therefore is, Do you believe that Jesus, who was born at
Bethlehem, and crucified under Pontius Pilate, is the
promised Saviour, the Messiah, the one for whom the
Jews were to look P. If so, you are a child of God, else
you would not believe it. It is given unto you to believe
it. Millions may say that Jesus is the Saviour, the
Messiah, but none BELIEVE it except the children of God.
It proves me to be a child of God that I believe it; to
none besides is it given to believe it, though millions
might say so.
Perhaps you say, I do not feel that I am born again,
born of God, and I have therefore no enjoyment. --
Answer. In order that you may have the enjoyment,
which is the result of the knowledge that you are a child
of God, that you are born of God, or born again, you
must receive God’s testimony. He is a faithful witness,
he speaks nothing but the truth, and his declaration is,
That every one who believes that Jesus is the Christ is
born of God. If you receive this testimony of God, you,
to whom by grace it is given to believe that Jesus is the
Christ, cannot but be happy, from the fact that God
himself says, that you are his child. But if you will wait
till you feel that you are a child of God, you may have to
wait long; and even if you felt it, yet your feelings would
be worth nothing; for either it might be a false feeling,
or, though it were real, it might be lost the next hour.
Reelings change; but the word of God remains unalterably
the same. You have, then, without having had a dream
about it, without having had a portion of the word in a
more than usual way impressed upon your mind concern-
ing the subject, without having heard something like a
voice from heaven about it, to say to yourself: If I believe
that Jesus is the promised Messiah, I am a child of God.
And then from the belief of what God declares in this
passage concerning you who believe that Jesus is the
Christ, even that you are his child, springs peace and joy
in the Holy Ghost.
Answer 2. In Galatians iii. 26, it is written : “Ye
M M 3
402 [A.D. 1841.
are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.”
The question here again is: Do I believe in the Lord
Jesus P Do I depend upon him alone for the salvation
of my soul ? If so, I am a child of God, whether I feel
it or not.
Answer 3. In John i. 11—13, it is written of the Lord
Jesus: “Eſe came unto his own, and his own received
him not. But as many as received him, to them gave he
power (or the right or the privilege) to become the sons
of God, even to them that believe on his name : which
were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor
of the will of man, but of God.” The question here
again is simply this, Have I received the Lord Jesus,
t. e. Do I believe in his name P If so, I am born of God,
I am a child of God, else I should never have believed in
the Lord Jesus ; for none but the children of God do
believe in him.
III. Question. How may I know that my sins are for-
given? Have I to wait till I feel that they are forgiven,
before I may take comfort concerning this matter ? Or,
must I wait till I have in some powerful way a portion of
the word of God applied to my mind, to assure me of it?
Answer. This point is again only to be settled by the
word of God. We have not to wait till we feel that our
sins are forgiven.—I myself have now been a believer for
more than nineteen years (i. e. in the year 1845). How
long it is, since I have had no doubt whatever about the
forgiveness of my sins, I cannot tell with certainty; but
this I am quite sure of, that ever since I have been in
England, which is now above sixteen years (in 1845), I
have never once had a single moment’s doubt that m
sins are all forgiven ; and yet I do not remember that I
even once have felt that they were forgiven. To know
that they are forgiven, and to feel that they are forgiven,
are two different things.-The way to settle, whether our
sins are forgiven, is, to refer to the word of God alone
with reference to it. In Acts x. 43, it is written con-
cerning the Lord Jesus, “To him give all the prophets
witness, that through his name whosoever believeth in
him shall receive remission of sins.” All the prophets,
speaking under the immediate power of the Holy Spirit,
bore testimony, that through the obedience and sufferings
of the Lord Jesus, whereby he becomes our Saviour or is
A.D. 1841.] 403
our Jesus, all who believe in him for salvation, who depend
upon him and not upon themselves, who receive him to be
the one whom God declares him to be, should receive the
forgiveness of their sins. The questions therefore to be
put to ourselves are simply these : Do I walk in utter
carelessness? Do I trust in my own exertions for sal-
vation? Do I expect forgiveness for my sins on account
of living a better life in future ? Or, do I depend only
upon this, that Jesus died on the cross to save sinners
—and that Jesus fulfilled the law of God, to make sinners
righteous P. If the latter is the case, my sins are forgiven,
whether I feel it or not. I have already forgiveness. I
shall not have it merely when I die, or when the Lord
Jesus comes again; but I have it now, and that for all
Imy sins. I must not wait to feel that my sins are for-
given, in order to be at peace, and in order to be happy;
but I must take God by his word, I must believe that
what he says is true, and he says, “That whosoever
believeth in the Lord Jesus should receive remission of
sins;” and when I believe what God says, peace and joy
will be the result.
Again, in Acts xv. 8, 9, it is written with reference to
us Gentile sinners: “And God which knoweth the hearts,
bare them witness, giving them the Holy Ghost, even as
he did unto us; and put no difference between us and
them, purifying their hearts by faith.” Here we see how
the guilt is to be removed from the heart, how we can get
a clean heart, obtain the forgiveness of our sins,—even
by faith in the Lord Jesus. Depending upon the suffer-
ings of the Lord Jesus in the room of sinners, and
depending upon his obedience in fulfilling the law of
God, his sufferings are considered as endured by us, his
obedience as if found in ourselves: in him (if we believe
on him) we are considered to have hung on the accursed
tree, and therefore were punished in him, on account of
which, God, though perfectly holy and just, can forgive us
our sins for Jesus' sake, as well as reckon us righteous,
through faith in the Lord Jesus, who in the room of those
who believe on him fulfilled the law of God.
I would here by the way especially warn against one
error, which is, that persons say, I can believe that Jesus
is the Christ, the Saviour, that through him alone the for-
giveness of sins is to be obtained, and I do depend on him
404 [A.D. 1841.
alone for forgiveness; but I desire to know that he is my
Christ, my Saviour, and because I am not sure about that,
I can have no peace. Now, the Gospel which is preached
in the New Testament is not, you must believe that Jesus
of Nazareth is your Christ, your Saviour, but that he is
the Christ, the Saviour; and if you believe that, you have
a right to look upon him as your Saviour.
IV. Question. How may I know that I shall be
saved P
Answer. “If thou shalt confess with thy mouth the
Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath
raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.” Rom. x. 9.
The point is simply this: Do I confess with my mouth
the Lord Jesus? Do I own him by the confession of m
mouth before men, and do I believe in my heart that Jesus
of Nazareth who was crucified was not left in the grave,
but was raised up again by God on the third day ? If so,
I shall be saved. For while there may be the confession
of the Lord Jesus with the mouth, without the person
being finally saved, there does not go along with this the
believing in the heart that God has raised him from the
dead, without the person, in whom both are found, being
finally saved; for in none but the children of God are
these two points found united together. We have here
particularly to observe, that it is not written: If thou
shalt say that God has raised him from the dead; but, if
thou shalt believe in thine heart that God has raised him
from the dead, thou shalt be saved. I have, then, to take
God by his word. If I do confess the Lord Jesus with
my mouth, and do believe in my heart that God has
raised him from the dead, I shall be saved, though I do
not feel it, though I am utterly unworthy of salvation,
yea, though I am altogether deserving condemnation. I
must not wait till I feel that I shall be saved before I take
comfort; but I must believe what God says in this verse,
and out of that peace and comfort will flow into my soul.
Should, however, one or other of the children of God
believe in his heart the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, if
at the same time he has never made confession of the
Lord Jesus with his mouth, he cannot be surprised that
the assurance about his salvation is wanting to him : yet
if both be found in you, my dear reader, God has been
gracious to you, you are his child, you shall be saved.
A.D. 1841.] 405
Further, in John iii. 16, it is written: “God so loved
the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that who-
soever believeth in him should not perish, but have ever-
lasting life.” Notice here in particular: 1. It matters
not how great a sinner I am. 2. The promise is positive
concerning my salvation, if I believe in the Lord Jesus.
3. I have only to believe in the Lord Jesus. No matter
how it may have been with me hitherto; if only now I
trust in and depend upon the Lord Jesus for salvation, I
shall have everlasting life.
Further, in Acts xvi. 30, 31, it is written : “Sirs, what
must I do to be saved P And they said, Believe on the
Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved.”
Further, in John iii. 36, it is written: “He that be-
lieveth on the Son hath everlasting life; and he that
believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of
God abideth on him.” As assuredly as I depend upon
and trust in the Lord Jesus for the salvation of my soul,
I shall be saved, I have already everlasting life; for he
died, to deliver those who believe on him from the wrath
of God, under which all men are in their natural state;
but if I do not believe in the Lord Jesus, the wrath of
God, which rests upon all men in their natural state, will
finally destroy me, if I remain without faith in the Lord
Jesus; for then I reject the one only remedy in refusing
to take Jesus as my substitute, who bore the punishment
that he might deliver the sinner from it, and who fulfilled
the law of God that he might make the sinner who be-
lieves on him a just one before God.
W. Question. How may I know that I am one of the
elect P I often read in the Scriptures about election, and
I often hear about election, how may I know that I am a
chosen one, that I am predestinated to be conformed to
the image of the Son of God?
Answer. It is written: “As many as were ordained,
(i. e. appointed) to eternal life believed.” Acts xiii. 48.
The question therefore simply is this: Do I believe in the
Lord Jesus P Do I take him to be the one whom God
declares him to be, i.e. his beloved Son in whom he is well
pleased ? If so, I am a believer, and I should never have
believed, except I had been appointed by God to eternal
life—except I had been made by God to be a vessel of
mercy. Therefore the matter is a very simple one: if I
406 [A.D. 1841.
believe in the Lord Jesus, I am a chosen one,—I have
been appointed to eternal life.
Again, in Rom. viii. 29, 30, it is written: “For whom
he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed
to the image of his Son, that he might be the first-born
among many brethren. Moreover whom he did predes-
timate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he
also justified; and whom he justified, them he also glori-
fied.” How are we justified, or constituted just ones,
before God P By faith in the Lord Jesus. Rom. iii.
20–26. Therefore if I believe in the Lord Jesus, it
follows (on account of the inseparable connexion of all
the precious things spoken of in these two verses), that I
have been foreknown by God, that I have been predes-
tinated by him to be conformed to the image of his Son,
that I have been called, that I have been justified, and
that in the sight of God I am already as good as glorified,
though I am not as yet in the actual possession and enjoy-
ment of the glory.
The reason why persons who renounce confidence in
their own goodness for salvation, and who only trust in
the merits and sufferings of the Lord Jesus, do not know
that they are the children of God, that their sins are for-
given, and that they shall be saved, generally arises from
one of these things: 1. They do not know the simplicity
of the Gospel ; or, 2. They seek to settle it by their feel-
ling; or, 3. They wait for some powerful impulse, or a
dream, or something like a voice from Heaven to assure
them of it, or for some passage being in a powerful way
applied to their mind to assure them of it; or, 4. Because
they are living in sin. Should the last be the case, then,
however correctly we may understand the Gospel; how-
ever much we may desire by the Holy Scriptures alone to
settle these questions; yea, however much in former times
we may have enjoyed the assurance of the forgiveness of
our sins, or of our being the children of God, or that we
shall be saved : in such a state of heart all peace would be
one, and would not return as long as we live in sin.
There may be found much weakness and many infirmities
even in the believer who has assurance about these points;
but the Holy Ghost does not comfort us, and will not
comfort us, if we habitually indulge in those things which
we know to be contrary to the mind of God. An upright,
A.D. 1841.] 407
honest heart, is of the utmost importance in all divine
things; and especially with reference to the assurance
about our standing before God.
April 15. From March 12th up to this day we had
always a little money in hand for the Orphans, so that
there was comparatively no trial of faith. Of the many
donations which came in during this period I only men-
tion two, as rather deserving to be noticed, to show what
various ways the Lord uses to send us supplies. On
March 16th Ireceived from the neighbourhood of London
5l., respecting which the brother who sent it writes, that
he was in the habit of giving this sum to his wife, a sister,
on her birth days, to lay it out in buying any little thing
she liked, and that she this time preferred giving it to the
Orphans. On April 3rd a sister gave 5l., which came in
most seasonably. She had lost a sum of money, which
was afterwards found again, and she felt constrained to
give 5l. of it to the Orphans. Now to-day, April 15,
when all was again spent, 3l. came in from Wales.
On Friday, April 30, while I was at Nailsworth, in
Gloucestershire, I received the following letter from bro-
ther R. B., Master at the Boys'-Orphan-House :
“My dear Brother,
“When I wrote last, on Tuesday evening, there
was not one penny in hand. But since then the Lord
has most graciously dealt with us. Only 1s. 6d. came in
on Wednesday morning; but as there were enough pro-
visions in the house for the day, the sisters experienced
no difficulty; it was only necessary to refuse to take in
what there was not money to pay for. About six I went
out for a walk with the boys, and returned after eight,
when I found a letter, in which was enclosed 5l., with these
words: “ From the Lord, for the present necessities of
the Orphans.” It was indeed for the present necessities.
Etc. “Your Brother,
“ R. B.”
This letter came after a previous one, in which brother
R. B. informed me about the need in the Orphan-Houses,
which led me to prayer. When this letter came from
brother B., I received at the same time another from Bir-
mingham, in which was enclosed 10l. from a brother, who
408 [A.D. 1841.
had sold some of his books. It was from a most unex-
pected quarter, as that brother is himself, as a servant of
the Lord, depending upon him for temporal supplies. The
same post brought me also information of 11. 4.s. 6d.
having been sent from Dublin. The sister in Ireland
writes that she sends the money now, as we may be in
want of even so small a sum. With regard to the above-
mentioned 5l., I mention still further that I know from
the handwriting who the donor is; and it is remarkable
that he had not given or sent the money to me, as he
not only knew I was not in Bristol at the time, but that
I was in the neighbourhood where he lives. But this was
not only of the Lord’s ordering, but it was a direct an-
swer to prayer; for knowing the need at the Orphan-
Bouses, I had been especially led to ask the Lord not
to allow the money to be first sent to me in letters or
parcels, but to cause it directly to be sent to brother B.
IIow truly precious it is that every one, who rests alone
upon the Lord Jesus for salvation, has in the living God
a father, to whom he may fully unbosom himself concern-
ing the most minute affairs of his life, and concerning
every thing that lies upon his heart | Dear reader, do you
know the living God? Is he, in Jesus, your father P
Be assured that Christianity is something more than
forms, and creeds, and ceremonies: there is life, and
power, and reality, in our holy faith. If you never yet
have known this, then come and taste for yourself. I be-
seech you affectionately to meditate and pray over the
following verses: John iii. 16, Rom. x. 9, 10, Acts x. 43,
1 John v. 1.
May 2. A sister who lives near Lutterworth sent me
yesterday 51., which was given for the Orphans by a friend
of hers. This 5l. supplies our need to-day, it being
Saturday, for there was only 11, in hand when this money
CàHºle.
Erom March 20th, to May 7th, I spent at Nailsworth,
where I prepared the second part of my Narrative for the
press, and laboured in the word. These seven weeks were
on the whole, by the help of God, profitably spent in the
service of the Lord, and to the benefit of my own soul.
There was much love shown to me and my family by the
dear Saints among whom I was labouring, and I know
that my service among them has not been in vain.

A.D. 1841.] 409
To-day, May 7, I returned with my family to Bristol.
While I was staying at Nailsworth it pleased the Lord
to teach me a truth, irrespective of human instrumen-
tality, as far as I know, the benefit of which I have not
lost, though now, while preparing the fifth edition for
the press, more than fourteen years have since passed
away. The point is this; I saw more clearly than ever,
that the first great and primary business to which I ought
to attend every day was, to have my soul happy in the
Lord. The first thing to be concerned about was not,
how much I might serve the Lord, how I might glorify
the Lord ; but how I might get my soul into a happy
state, and how my inner man might be nourished. For
I might seek to set the truth before the unconverted, I
might seek to benefit believers, I might seek to relieve
the distressed, I might in other ways seek to behave my-
self as it becomes a child of God in this world; and yet,
not being happy in the Lord, and not being nourished
and strengthened in my inner man day by day, all this
might not be attended to in a right spirit. Before this
time my practice had been, at least for ten years previ-
ously, as an habitual thing to give myself to prayer, after
having dressed myself in the morning. Now I saw, that
the most important thing I had to do was, to give myself
to the reading of the word of God and to meditation on
it, that thus my heart might be comforted, encouraged,
warned, reproved, instructed; and that thus, by means of
the word of God, whilst meditating on it, my heart might
be brought into experimental communion with the Lord.
I began therefore to meditate on the New Testament
from the beginning, early in the morning. The first
thing I did, after having asked in a few words the Lord’s
blessing upon his precious word, was, to begin to meditate
on the word of God, searching, as it were, into every
verse, to get blessing out of it; not for the sake of the
public ministry of the word, not for the sake of preaching
on what I had meditated upon; but for the sake of ob-
taining food for my own soul. The result I have found
to be almost invariably this, that after a very few minutes
my soul has been led to confession, or to thanksgiving, or
to intercession, or to supplication: so that, though I did
not, as it were, give myself to prayer, but to meditation,
yet it turned almost immediately more or less into prayer.
N N.
If
410 [A.D. 1841.
t
When thus I have been for awhile making confession, or
intercession, or supplication, or have given thanks, I go
on to the next words or verse, turning all, as I go on,
into prayer for myself or others, as the word may lead to
it; but still continually keeping before me, that food for
my own soul is the object of my meditation. The result
of this is, that there is always a good deal of confession,
thanksgiving, supplication, or intercession mingled with
my meditation, and that my inner man almost invariably
is even sensibly nourished and strengthened, and that by
breakfast time, with rare exceptions, I am in a peaceful
if not happy state of heart. Thus also the Lord is pleased
to communicate unto me that, which either very soon
after, or at a later time, I have found to become food for
other believers, though it was not for the sake of the pub-
lic ministry of the word that I gave myself to meditation,
but for the profit of my own inner man. With this mode
I have likewise combined the being out in the open air
for an hour, an hour and a half, or two hours before
breakfast, walking about in the fields, and in the summer
sitting for a little on the stiles, if I find it too much to
walk all the time,” I find it very beneficial to my health
to walk thus for meditation before breakfast, and am now
so in the habit of using the time for that purpose, that
when I get into the open air, I generally take out a New
Testament of good sized type, which I carry with me for
that purpose, besides my Bible: and I find that I can
profitably spend my time in the open air, which formerly
was not the case, for want of habit. I used to consider
the time spent in walking a loss, but now I find it very
profitable, not only to my body, but also to my soul. The
walking out before breakfast is of course not necessarily
connected with this matter, and every one has to judge
according to his strength and other circumstances.—The
difference, then, between my former practice and my pre-
sent one is this. Formerly, when I rose, I began to pray
as soon as possible, and generally spent all my time till
breakfast in prayer, or almost all the time. At all events
I almost invariably began with prayer, except when I felt
my soul to be more than usually barren, in which case I
read the word of God for food, or for refreshment, or for
* Since February 1849, I have been obliged to discontinue my walks
in the fields entirely, on account of a weakness in my right foot.
A.D. 1841.] 411
a revival and renewal of my inner man, before I gave my-
self to prayer. But what was the result. I often spent
a quarter of an hour, or half an hour, or even an hour
on my knees, before being conscious to myself of having
derived comfort, encouragement, humbling of soul, etc.;
and often, after having suffered much from wandering of
mind for the first ten minutes, or a quarter of an hour,
or even half an hour, I only then began really to pray. I
scarcely ever suffer now in this way. For my heart being
nourished by the truth, being brought into eaſperimental
fellowship with God, I speak to my Father, and to my
Friend (vile though I am, and unworthy of it !) about
the things that he has brought before me in his precious
word. It often now astonishes me that I did not sooner
see this point. In no book did I ever read about it. No
public ministry ever brought the matter before me. No
private intercourse with a brother stirred me up to this
matter. And yet now, since God has taught me this
point, it is as plain to me as any thing, that the first
thing the child of God has to do morning by morning is,
to obtain food for his inner man. As the outward man is .
not fit for work for any length of time, except we take
food; and as this is one of the first things we do in the
morning; so it should be with the inner man. We
should take food for that, as every one must allow.
Now what is the food for the inner man P. Not prayer,
but the word of God; and here again not the simple
reading of the word of God, so that it only passes
through our minds, just as water runs through a pipe, but
considering what we read, pondering over it, and apply-
ing it to our hearts. When we pray, we speak to God.
Now, prayer, in order to be continued for any length of
time in any other than a formal manner, requires, gene-
rally speaking, a measure of strength or godly desire, and
the season, therefore, when this exercise of the soul can
be most effectually performed, is, after the inner man has
been nourished by meditation on the word of God, where
we find our Father speaking to us, to encourage us, to
comfort us, to instruct us, to humble us, to reprove us.
We may therefore profitably meditate, with God’s bles-
sing, though we are ever so weak spiritually; nay, the
weaker we are, the more we need meditation for the
strengthening of our inner man. There is thus far less
N N 2
412 [A.D. 1841.
to be feared from wandering of mind, than if we give our-
selves to prayer, without having had previously time for
meditation.—I dwell so particularly on this point because
of the immense spiritual profit and refreshment I am con-
scious of having derived from it myself, and I affection-
ately and solemnly beseech all my fellow-believers to
ponder this matter. By the blessing of God I ascribe to
this mode the help and strength which I have had from
God to pass in peace through deeper trials in various
ways, than I had ever had before; and after having now
above fourteen years tried this way, I can most fully, in
the fear of God, commend it.—In addition to this I gene-
rally read after family prayer larger portions of the word
of God, when I still pursue my practice of reading regu-
larly onward in the Holy Scriptures, sometimes in the
New Testament and sometimes in the Old, and for more
than twenty-six years I have proved the blessedness of it.
I take also either then or at other parts of the day, time
more especially for prayer.
How different, when the soul is refreshed and made
happy early in the morning, from what it is when, without
spiritual preparation, the service, the trials, and the
temptations of the day come upon one !
May 29. To-day I received from the East Indies 100l.
—Notice here, that without any solicitation, simply in
answer to prayer, the Lord is pleased to send us from
time to time even large sums, and that from such a dis-
tance as the East Indies.
June 4. Two or three weeks since, a brother at a dis-
tance requested me to let him know the names of my
bankers, and the names of their agents in London, in
order that he might by means of his bankers send me
some money. One day after another passed away, and I
i. no more about it. To-day I received the following
etter:—
“My dear Brother,
“I have delayed writing to you under the expec-
tation of seeing you at Bristol; but I am not yet suffered
to leave * * * *. I have, by this post, written to * * * *
of London, desiring them to pay over to Messrs Robarts,
Curtis & Co., in favour of Messrs Stuckey & Co. of Bris-
tol, to the credit of George Müller, the sum of fifty
A.D. 1841.] 413
pounds. This apply, dear brother, as the Lord gives you
wisdom. I am not concerned at my having been prevented
Jor so many days from sending this money; I am conſident
Žt has not been needed.”
This last sentence is remarkable. It is now nearly
three years since our funds were for the first time ex-
hausted, and only at this period since then, could it have
been said in truth, as far as I remember, that a donation
of 50l. was not needed. From the beginning of July
1838, till now, there never had been a period when we
so abounded as when this donation of 50l. came ; for
there was then in the Orphan-Fund and the other funds
between two and three hundred pounds. The words of
this brother are so much the more remarkable, as, on four
former occasions, when he likewise gave considerable dona-
tions, we were always in need, yea, great need, which he
afterwards knew from the printed accounts.
On the same day came in still further from Hackney
10l., besides several small donations.
July 7, 1841. For some time past brother Craik and
I have questioned whether, under our present circum-
stances, the mode of receiving the free-will offerings of the
saints among whom we labour, by means of boxes over
which our names were fixed, together with the explana-
tion of the object of the boxes, was any longer the more
eacellent way. We have at last been quite decided about
it, and put to-day the following short statement into the
press.
To the Saints in Christ Jesus, assembling at Bethesda
Chapel, Bristol.
“Dear Brethren,
“It has seemed well to us to remove, from the
chapel, the boxes appropriated for the reception of the
free-will offerings towards our temporal support. In
order to prevent misapprehension or misrepresentation,
we desire affectionately to lay before you the following
statement of our reasons for taking this step.
Upon our first coming to Bristol we declined accept-
ing any thing in the shape of regular salary, or by means
of seat-rents, from the brethren among whom we were la-
N N 3
414 [A.D. 1841.
bouring. We did not act thus because we thought it
wrong that those who were ministered unto in spiritual
things should minister unto us in temporal things; but
1, because we would not have the liberality of the bre-
thren to be a matter of constraint, but willingly; 2. be-
cause on the ground of James ii. 1–6, we objected to
seat-rents. Boxes were put up for the sake of those into
whose hearts God might put it to desire to act according
to that word, “Let him that is taught in the word com-
municate unto him that teacheth in all good things.”
Gal. vi. 6.
When the boxes were first put up, we were the only
brethren that seemed called to labour in the word and
doctrine. Since, then, however, circumstances have con-
siderably altered; and, partly, from the change in circum-
stances, and, partly, from increased light in reference to
the position of those who minister the word, we have for
Some time past felt that it might be well, for certain rea-
sons, that the present mode of receiving the offerings of
the saints should be discontinued. At the same time we
are very desirous of having it clearly understood, that, in
the great principles which led to the adoption of the
boxes, in the first instance, we are unchanged: or rather
we are more strengthened, by the experience of more than
ten years, in the propriety of rejecting seat-rents and
fixed salaries.
1. As long as the boxes are there, it ought to be under-
stood for what purpose the money, which is put into
them, is applied. This necessity requires that our names
should be given, as those who labour in the word and
doctrine. This again has the appearance of elevating
ourselves above all the other brethren, and of assuming
office to ourselves, instead of just seeking to fill the place
which the Holy Ghost may have given us in the body.
2. It may please the Lord increasingly to call and
qualify other brethren for the work of ruling and teach-
ing in the church; but still, as long as we are looked
upon as we have been hitherto, in consequence of our
names being affixed to the boxes, unnecessary difficulties
may probably be put in the way of any others being fully
recognized by the saints generally as occupying, equally
i. ourselves, the place in which the Lord may set
them.
A.D. 1841.] 415
3. The question may be asked even now, “Are these the
only labourers?” and the reply would be that there are
others who also labour, but who are not supported in the
same way. This fact is fitted to give the impression to
those who do not know us, that we were seeking to keep
our place in the church by some outward title, rather
than just filling it up in obedience to the Lord, and
quietly leaving it with his Spirit to produce subjection
unto us on the part of the saints.
4. Lastly, from the manner in which our names appear
in public, we have reason to believe that some of the
saints look upon us as exclusively “the ministers,” and
thus that some may have felt themselves neglected be-
cause not visited personally by us. The notion that two
individuals should be able to exercise pastoral inspection
over about five hundred and fifty believers, we consider to
be very unsound; but for ourselves we feel that it is a
responsibility which we dare not take. According to our
gift and strength we desire to rule, teach, and feed the
sheep of Christ; but we dare not undertake the personal
inspection of all who are already gathered, or may be
gathered, simply as believers in the Lord Jesus, in this
city.
Thus we have endeavoured very briefly to state our
reasons for declining any longer to receive your offerings
through boxes publicly put up, and having our names ap-
pended to them. We desire grace to serve you more
faithfully than ever, and cast ourselves, as we have done
hitherto, upon him who hath said, “If any man serve me,
him will my Father honour.”
HENRY CRAIK,
GEORGE MüLLER.
Bristol, July 7, 1841.
When this alteration was made, I had another proof of
the many blessings which are connected with the life of
faith. Under other circumstances the question would
have naturally arisen in my mind, And what will you do
for support if the boxes are removed? How will the
offerings come in P Will any come in P But none of
these things troubled me even for a moment. I said to
myself, somehow or other the Lord will provide for me.
If not through the instrumentality of the Saints in
416 [A.D. 1841.
Bristol, he will send help by means of those who live
elsewhere. All I have to do in this matter is, to serve
the Lord and to trust in him, and he will surely take care
of my temporal necessities. And thus it has been since
July 1841 also, even as before. The reader may desire
to know, how the Lord has since that time provided for
my temporal necessities, seeing that the boxes, which were
put up in the two chapels for the reception of the free-
will offerings, were removed. I therefore state it. 1, I
have received, as at former times, some presents in provi-
sions, clothes, etc., from the saints among whom I labour
and from other saints. 2, Some of the brethren and
sisters among whom I labour have either habitually or
from time to time put up some money in paper, and di-
rected it to brother Craik or to me, or to both of us, and
have put these little money parcels into one of the boxes
for the reception of the offerings for the poor saints, or
into the boxes into which the free-will contributions for
the rent and expenses of the chapels are put. These
little packets have been handed over to us by the deacons,
and as they were directed so they have been appropriated.
Those which are directed to brother Craik only, are
handed over to brother Craik; those which are directed
to me only, I appropriate for myself; and those which
are directed to both of us, the contents are divided be-
tween us. Moreover, any such little money parcel, put
into one or other of the boxes, without any direction, is
divided between us both, as has been stated to the saints
by the deacons. 3, In a few cases, brethren and sisters
in communion with us have also given me presents in
money. 4, The Lord has also continued to incline the
hearts of some of his children, not living in Bristol, to
send me presents in money, and again and again even
those whom I have never seen, and whose names, some-
times, I do not even know.
The only thing that was a real difficulty in my mind in
making this alteration was, not that I should be a loser,
and much less that the Lord would not care for my tem-
poral necessities; but lest some of the children of God
should find, in the removal of the boxes for the reception
of the offerings for brother Craik and me, an excuse for
doing nothing at all for our temporal necessities; and lest
especially the poor, because they might have only pence

A.D. 1841.] 417
or halfpence to give, should be deterred from doing so,
and thereby both classes should rob themselves of bless-
ing. It was not because I feared to lose the gifts of
some; for, I can, by the grace of God, say in some mea-
sure at least with the apostle Paul, “Not because I desire
a gift : but I desire fruit that may abound to your ac-
count.” Philip. iv. 17. My aim also is, by the help of
God, to be brought into that state of heart in which the
apostle Paul was, when he said, “I will very gladly spend
and be spent for you: though the more abundantly I love
you, the less I be loved.” 2 Cor. xii. 15. But yet with
this desire on my part, I knew that the dear children of
God among whom I labour would rob themselves and not
one, of a blessing, if they did not contribute towards my
temporal necessities, and I feared, lest this alteration
should be used by Satan as an instrument to their injury.
But the mind of God seemed to us, after all, on account
of the reasons before stated, that the alteration ought to
be made, notwithstanding any possible evils which might
result from it.
We are thus in such a position, that there is free room
for the Holy Ghost to commend all the various labourers
among us, according to the measure of grace and gift
given to them, to the consciences of the brethren, not
only with reference to their spiritual position in the body,
but also with reference to their temporal need.
Aug. 7. To-day we had one sixpence left for our own
personal necessities. We needed some money to buy
eggs and cocoa for a brother who is come to stay with us,
when this brother gave me four shillings, which he had
brought for me from the place whence he comes. Thus
we are helped for the present.
Aug. 26. After a season of comparative poverty with
reference to myself, though always having what was really
needful in the way of nourishing food, etc., a brother
sent me to-day 171. 18s. from a considerable distance, of
which half is for the Orphans, and half for my own tem-
poral necessities.
Sept. 2. During the last four months we have had
more in hand for the Orpans than we needed. Since July
1838, when for the first time the funds were exhausted,
we have had at no period so much money in hand. There
was, as it were, during these four months, one continual
4.18 [A.D. 1841.
©
even running of the river of God’s bounty, both by pre-
sents in money and articles. Of the donations which
were received during this period, I mention only the fol-
lowing:—On May 12th I received from Florence, in Italy,
the following donations:—3 silver pins and 4 dollars;
3 dollars and a sixpence; 2 Pauls (Italian coins): 5l. ;
3 pincushions, 6 penwipers, and a little shawl. How
abundantly do these donations from Florence prove how
easily the Lord is able to provide us with means for his
work, even from the most unexpected quarters!—As we
had now for several months abounded in a greater degree
than at any previous time of the same length during the
past three years and three months, so it pleased the Lord
after this period to try our faith more severely than
during any time since the work first commenced. Indeed,
so sharp were the trials of our faith for more than six
months after this;–so long the seasons when, day after
day, only daily supplies were granted to us, and when
even from meal to meal we had to look to the Lord;—so
long had we to continue in prayer, and yet help seemed to
fail:—that it can be only ascribed to the especial mercy
of God, that the faith of those who were engaged in this
work did not altogether fail, and that they did not en-
tirely grow weary of this way of carrying on the Lord's
work, and go, in despair of help from God, back again to
the habits and maxims of this evil world. How my
fellow-labourers have felt during all this time, I am, of
course, unable to state, but if I may speak of myself, I
joyfully state, to the praise of the Lord, that during all
the following months my faith was sustained without
wavering, but still so greatly was it tried, that often I
had no other petition, but that the Lord would be pleased
to continue it, and that he would pity me as a father
pitieth his children. In the midst of the trial I was fully
assured that the Lord would lighten his hand in his own
good time, and that, whilst it lasted, it was only in order
that, in a small measure, for the benefit of the church of
Christ generally, that word might be fulfilled in us—
“Whether we be afflicted it is for your consolation.” I
now give an account of the commencement and progress
of our trial of faith during the months which succeeded
the time of abundance.
A.D. 1841.] 419
Sept. 3. The money in hand had come to 37. 5s. I
therefore asked the Lord this morning for fresh supplies,
º very soon after came a post-office order from Glasgow
or 37.
Sept. 7. 5l. 9s. more had come in since September
3rd, but this morning the last money had been given out.
After the great abundance during the last months, now
not a farthing was left. I gave myself therefore to prayer,
and in the afternoon I received a post-office order from a
brother at Plymouth for 3!. In the evening was left at
my house a bonnet box, from G. T. I., which contained
5s., 4 shirts and 4 handkerchiefs.
Sept. 8. To-day came in 4s. from the neighbourhood
of Wolverhampton, 2s. 6d. from Bath, and 11. was given
by a brother, who had just arrived from Ceylon.
Sept. 9. This morning 5l. was sent by a brother, a
student in the university of Cambridge, who had read
my narrative; also 13s.6d. came in besides.
Sept. 18. From the 9th to this day we were comfort-
ably supplied with what we needed. To-day, when 3!.
was needed, and there was only 11.9s. 2d. in hand, 12!.
came in from the neighbourhood of Wolverhampton, and
3s. by knitting.
Sept. 25, Saturday. Since the 18th was received, by
donations and sale of articles, 5l. 19s. 8d., which enabled
us, together with the 12l. 3s. which came in on the 18th,
to meet all the expenses. But when I had sent off yes-
terday what was needed to meet the day’s need, nothing at
all was left in hand for this day, whilst I knew that above
31, would be required. The Lord, therefore, in his faithful
love sent in yesterday afternoon 11s. 0%d.; this morning
5l. from Plymouth; and 17. 1s. with several articles
of clothing for the Orphans from Clapham. Thus we
had about twice as much as was required for this day.
Sept. 26. 21. 11s. came in to-day.
Sept. 28. As 27. was needed for the supplies of this
day, and only 17, 13s. 0#d. was in hand, the boxes in the
Orphan-Houses were opened, in which was found 10s. 2d.
Sept. 29. When there was again only 3s. 23d. in hand
towards the need of to-day, a brother, a commercial tra-
veller, having returned last night to Bristol, brought
me two sovereigns, which had been given him for the
420 [A.D. 1841.
Orphans by a lady at Marlborough, who had read one of
the Reports. There came in still further to-day 2l. 8s. 6d.
Oct. 1. . When I had again not one penny in hand for
the necessities of this day, there was brought to me this
morning 10s. for the Orphans, which had been sent from
Rensington. In the paper which contained the money,
was written: “Your Heavenly Father knoweth that ye
have need of these things.” “Trust in the Lord.” This
word of our Lord is to me of more value than many
bank notes. About five minutes later I received from an
Irish sister 10l., through her banker in London. At the
same time I received information from Tetbury that three
boxes, containing articles to be disposed of for the benefit
of the Orphans, were on the way, and two hours after,
14 small donations were given to me, amounting to
11. 7s. 4d.—I mention here, as a point particularly to
be noticed, that after the season of comparative abun-
dance had come to an end in September, the Lord did not
at once allow us to be so sharply tried as we were after-
wards. He dealt in the same gentle way with us three
years before, when the trials of faith in this part of the
work first commenced.
Oct. 6. As only 4!. more had been received for the
Orphans since Oct. 1, the last money had now again been
given out to supply this day’s necessities, when 21. 15s.
came in, being the produce of some of the articles which
had been sent from Tetbury. This evening I also re-
ceived from a brother a sovereign, which his believing
wife, on her dying bed, had requested him to give after
her decease. There came in likewise this evening by a
donation 10s., and by sale of articles 27. 10s. 5d.
During the last five months we have had comparatively
an abundance of means for the other objects of the Scrip-
tural Knowledge Institution also ; but now we are again
very poor. Just now, in this our great need, a brother,
who has learned to esteem the Holy Scriptures above
every other book, sent me a box of books, the produce of
which supplies our present need for the Day Schools.
Oct. 9. No more than 11.2s. 11d. having been received
for the Orphans since the 6th, there was only 2l. 3s. 9d.
in hand, whilst 4!. was needed, it being Saturday. In
the course of the morning 21. came in for stockings, from
a sister who resides five or six miles from Bristol; and in
A.D. 1841.] 421
the afternoon another sister sent 1s., and a third brought
5l. The latter had it particularly laid on her heart not
to delay till to-morrow the giving of this money, as it
might be needed to-day. Thus the Lord has not only
given us enough for to-day, but also a little to begin the
next week with.
Oct. 10. To-day we received still further 5l. 9s. 11d.
for the Orphans.
Oct. 11. When to-day again money was needed for the
Day Schools, there arrived from Marlborough a box of
books, containing 110 volumes and several pamphlets.
The produce of the books, together with 11.9s. 4d., which
came in at the same time, supplied again our present ne-
cessities.
Oct. 16. More than 10l. had come in since the 10th
for the Orphans, but to-day there was again only 10s. 11%d.
in hand, whilst about 3!. was required. The boxes at the
Orphan-Houses were therefore opened, which contained
17. 1s. In the course of the day also 5s. 5d. was paid for
stockings. About seven o’clock this evening sister E. C.
brought several small donations, amounting to 11.17s. 4d.,
for the Orphans, and 9s. 8d. for the other funds. Thus
we had even for this day 31. 14s. 4}d.
Oct. 21. As only between 91. and 107. had come in
since the 16th for the Orphans, we were this day again,
as is often the case, without anything in hand, when
12s. 2d. was sent from Exmouth, and 8s. 8d. came in by
sale of stockings. There arrived also a box and a basket
from Ilfracombe, the contents of which are to be sold for
the benefit of the Orphans. Moreover 15s. 6d. was taken
out of the boxes in the Orphan-Houses.
Oct. 22. By the money which was yesterday taken out
of the boxes, and by 11. 3s. which came in by disposing of
some of the articles sent from Ilfracombe, we were com-
fortably supplied to-day.
Oct. 23. We had only 5s. 6d., which I found in the
box in my house, 8s. 9d. for stockings, and 9s. which
came in this morning, besides a few shillings in the hands
of the matrons, to help us through the day.
Oct. 24. To-day, when we had not enough to pay the
salaries of the teachers in the Day Schools, I received 5l.
from a sister at Topsham, which supplied our need.
O O
422 [A.D. 1841.
Oct. 25. Yesterday and to-day was given 21, 17s. for
the Orphans.
Oct. 26. This afternoon I had only one penny left,
when two Orphans arrived from Bath, with whom
5l. 15s. 6d. was brought. At the very moment while I
was receiving this money, I was called on for money from
the Girls'-Orphan-House, which I was thus able to send.
It has often been so ordered by the Lord, that, whilst we
require nothing at all to be paid at the admission of the
children, nevertheless that which has been brought with
them has been the means of supplying the need in which
we were at the time when they were sent. There came
in still further to-day 17.
Oct. 29. To-day we were again very poor; for not
only had I nothing at all in hand, but the provision stores
were much reduced. About twelve o’clock a sister gave
me 3s. 2d., also from a distance was sent 9d. In the
afternoon we were able to dispose of some articles for 3!,
which had been sent a long time ago. Three shillings
came in for needlework, and 2s. 6d. as a donation. Thus
we had 31.9s. 5d.—The day before yesterday I had asked
the Lord that he would be pleased to send us some pota-
toes, as we have no means to lay in a stock. This morn-
ing I was informed that the same brother who had sent
20 sacks last year, had again ordered 20 sacks to be sent,
and 6 sacks have also been given by another individual.
Oct. 30. As this is Saturday, the money which came
in yesterday was not quite enough for to-day. But this
morning's post brought, in answer to prayer, from Clap-
ham 10s., and anonymously from Plymouth 10s.
Nov. 1. Yesterday was received altogether 27. 10s. 3d.
Nov. 2. At a time of the greatest poverty ll. was sent
by a lady from Birmingham. About half an hour after-
wards I received 10l. from a brother who had saved up
150l. and put it into a savings' bank, but who now sees
that to devote this money to the promotion of the work
of God tends more to the glory of the name of Jesus,
than to retain it in the savings' bank upon interest for a
time of sickness or old age; for he is assured that should
such times come, the same Lord, who has hitherto cared
for him whilst in health and strength and able to work,
will also care for him then. The same brother gave me,
A.D. 1841.] 423
31, a fortnight since. This 10l. came in very seasonably;
for though we had been able to provide for the absolute
necessities of to-day, yet there was want in many respects,
especially as a boy is just going out as an apprentice,
who needs tools and an outfit.
Nov. 3. This afternoon two little boys were received,
with whom three little girls sent 13s.6d.
Nov. 4 and 5. 27. 5s. 1d. more was given.
Nov. 7. When there was now again nothing at all in
hand, there came in 21., being the profit of the sale of
ladies’ baskets; and also 3!. 1s. 10d. •,
Nov. 8–11. 4l. 9s. 4d. was received during these four
days.
Nov. 12. This morning, after the exposition of the
Scriptures to the children, 10s. was given to me, at a time
when there was not only nothing at all in hand, but when
without some help we should not have had every thing
that was really needed for to-day.
Nov. 13, Saturday. This morning I took 1s. out of
the box in my house. This one shilling was all there
was towards the need of to-day. Pause, dear reader, for
a few moments Consider that there are more than a
hundred persons to be provided with every thing they
require; consider that there is no money in hand; and
consider also that this is the case not once nor twice in
the course of the year but very frequently. Is it not
precious, under such circumstances, to have the living God
as a father to go to, who is ever able and ever willing to
help, as it may be really needed ? And to this privilege
every one has a title who believes in the Lord Jesus,
being as such a child of God. Galatians iii. 26. For
though all believers in the Lord Jesus are not called
upon to establish Orphan-Houses, Schools for poor chil-
dren, etc., and trust in God for means; yet all believers,
according to the will of God concerning them in Christ
Jesus, may cast, and ought to cast, all their care upon
him who careth for them, and need not be anxiously con-
cerned about any thing, as is plainly to be seen from
1 Peter v. 7, Philippians iv. 6, Matthew vi. 25–34.
Under these circumstances of need, a silver watch, which
only yesterday afternoon had become the property of the
Orphan-Fund, was disposed of, whereby we were helped
through the expenses of to-day. The coals are almost
O O 2
424 [An 1841.

gone in each of the houses. Every article of provision,
etc., is likewise much reduced. Truly, we are exceedingly
poor; nevertheless there are the necessary provisions till
Monday morning, and thus we are brought to the close
of another week. This afternoon all the labourers met
for prayer.
Nov. 14. When we met again this afternoon for
prayer, we had reason to praise, for the Lord had sent in
means. This morning was given to me 5l., and 6s. had
come in by sale of articles. There came also by post a
small parcel from Wales, containing a few little articles,
which are not to be mentioned, and 2s. 6d.
Nov. 15. Last Friday brother Craik and I had a
meeting for inquirers and candidates for fellowship. We
saw eight and had to send away ten whom we could not
see, our strength being quite gone after we had seen the
eight, one after another. This evening we saw seven and
had to send away three.
Nov. 16. The last four days we have daily met for
prayer, there being no means to pay the teachers in the
Day Schools. Besides this, we need a stove in one of
the school rooms; also some Bibles and Tracts. To-day
I received 21. from a brother at Exmouth.
As only 2s. had been given yesterday for the Orphans,
there was this morning again only 4s. 6d. in hand, which
between ten and eleven o’clock I was on the point of
sending to the Orphan-Houses, having been called on for
money. While I was writing the note to that effect, I
received a post office order for 3!. from a brother at Barn-
staple, which was again a most precious deliverance, as
our stores had been in every way so much reduced. About
two hours later I received 4!. more from a brother at
Exmouth, the half of which was for the Orphans, and the
other half for the other objects. Through the same bro-
ther also was sent with Luke xxii. 32,11. for the Orphans.
There came in still further to-day 2l. for stockings, which
were bought by two ladies who visited the Orphan-
Houses. They also gave 3s. 9d. Also an individual who
had removed at four different times the furniture of the
Orphan-Houses to and from Westbury, where the chil-
dren had been, in turn, from August 10 to Nov. 12, while
the houses were coloured down and painted inside, charged
only 11, ls. 10%d., instead of 4!. 2s. 10%d., which would
A.D. 1841.] 425
have been the regular charge, and stated that he had
long wished to do something for the Orphans, and that
he should not have charged even this 17. Is. 10; d. had he
not had to lay it out in money. Thus the Lord in various
ways helps us, and all without our asking any human
being, but only in simplicity telling him day by day our
need.
Nov. 18. To-day we had again a meeting with in-
quirers, and saw seven. -
Nov. 21. Only 11. 11s. 4d. came in since the 16th for
the Orphans, on account of which there was to-day again
no money at all in hand, and the stores were very much
exhausted. How kind, therefore, of the Lord to send in
again at this time 2!. 10s.
Nov. 23. Yesterday came in 5s. for stockings, which
provided to-day the means for the breakfast in the Boys'-
Orphan-House. A sister sent also a gammon and some
peas. Now we are very poor indeed. One of the la-
bourers was able to provide a dinner in the Girls'-Orphan-
House out of his own means. In this our great need
came in 17s. 6d. by sale of Reports, which money had
been expected for some months past, but which the Lord
sent just now most seasonably. Besides this, 2s. 6d. was
also received for the children’s needlework. Thus we
were provided for this day also. In the afternoon the
Lord gave us a still further proof of the continuance of
his loving care over us, now that we are so poor; for a
box arrived from Plymouth, containing clothes, trinkets,
etc.
Nov. 24, . We have been daily meeting for prayer the
last twelve days. To-day, just before I was going to the
meeting, one of the articles, which came in the box from
Plymouth yesterday afternoon, was sold for 27, 2s., which
sum supplies us with means for this day. The donors
may not have thought, perhaps, that their bounty would
so soon be needed.—When I came to the prayer-meeting,
I heard of a little circumstance, which is worthy of notice.
The Infant Orphans took a walk this morning with their
governess. A poor woman came to her, whilst they were
walking, and gave her two pence for the benefit of the
Orphans, adding, “It is but a trifle, but I must give it
you.” Now, one of these two pence had been needed, by
the time I came, to make up the little sum which was
O O 3
426 [A.D. 1841.
required for the bread.—This afternoon was received still
further 9d, and also 12s. by the sale of some of the arti-
cles which yesterday came from Plymouth.
Nov. 25. With 12s. 1d. we began the day, which was
not sufficient for all that was required. In the afternoon
came in 11s. for knitting. Thus we had enough for this
day also.
Nov. 26. One of the labourers gave 5s. ; 11s, came in
by sale of articles, and 6d. was taken out of the box in
my house. Little as this was, yet we were able to pro-
cure with it all that was really needful ; but now our
provision stock is very much reduced.
Nov. 27. This is Saturday, and nothing at all was in
hand when the day commenced. My especial prayer had
been that the Lord would be pleased early in the morning
to send us supplies, as otherwise there would not be suf-
ficient for dinner. Accordingly, about 10 o’clock, a par-
cel came from Clapham, containing 11s, and the following
articles: 12 yards of calico, a frock, a chemise, 2 petti-
coats, a flannel ditto, 2 handkerchiefs, 2 pinafores, a fur-
nished workbag, an old silver thimble and half a franc,
Thus the Lord has kindly provided us with means for the
dinner, and we took it as a token for good that he would
send what else might be needed this day. There came in
still further in the course of the afternoon, by sale of an
article, given by one of the labourers, 5s.; by sale of some
lithographic sketches, given by one of the labourers,
4s. 6d. ; by sale of articles, given some time since, 16s. ;
by sale of stockings, 2s. 9d.; and by a donation, 2s. Thus
the Lord was pleased to give us in the course of this day
27. 1s. 3d., while we were in the greatest need in the
morning, and without any natural prospect of having the
means which were required for the day.
Nov. 29. The Lord has kindly sent in supplies. Yes-
terday was given altogether 5l. 19s. 7d.
These two weeks we have been likewise in the greatest
poverty with reference to the Day Schools; but the Lord
has almost daily sent in a little, to supply the absolute
necessities of the brethren and sisters, who are engaged
in that part of the work.
Nov. 30. Though 57.19s. 7d. had been given, yet, as
the stores had been previously so reduced, there was again
some more money needed to-day. 5s, came in by sale of
A.D. 1841.] 427
articles, and one of the labourers gave some money of his
own. In this time of great need there arrived a parcel,
sent anonymously, which contained the following articles:
3 combs, 6 shells, 5 pairs of gilt bracelets, 4 single brace-
lets, a pair of ditto, a gilt chain, a gilt necklace, a cornelian
ditto, a bead ditto, a brooch, a buckle, two pairs of ear-
rings, 3 rings, 3 pairs of drops, and a single ear-ring.
Dec. 1. Again there were many shillings needed for
this day. At the Boys'-Orphan-House matters stood so
in the morning that, with an addition of eight pence, the
dinner could be provided; but there was only seven pence
in hand. Brother B. having heard that something had
been put last evening into the box at the Girls'-Orphan-
House, went, and it was found to be one penny, which an
aged sister had put in, whereby the present need was sup-
plied. Even the gift of this one penny was thus evidently
under the ordering of our kind Father, who not in anger,
but for the trial of our faith, keeps us so poor. About
ten o'clock this morning was sent, by post, half a sovereign.
In the letter was written : “From the wife of a clergy-
man, for the Orphan-Houses, Nov. 30, 1841.” This
donation was truly sweet, as coming from our faithful
Lord, though it was not nearly enough. But he had pity
on us, and sent in still further to-day by the sale of stock-
ings 5s., and by the sale of other articles 12s.
Dec. 2. In the course of this morning was sold a part
of the trinkets which came on Nov. 30th, for 11, 4s. 10d.
Besides this, came in by sale of articles 1s. 6d. Thus was
our present need supplied. In the afternoon 3!, was sent
by a sister from Plymouth, and by a sister in Bristol was
given to me 2s.
Dec. 3 and 4. 17. 10s. 6d. has been received during
these two days.
Dec. 6. Yesterday the Lord again, in his faithful love,
sent in means for the need of to-day. A gentleman from
Devonshire came to me after the meeting, introduced
himself as a brother, and gave me 5l. for the work of the
Lord, as it might be needed. I had pleasant brotherly
communion with him, but he preferred not to give me his
name. Besides this came in 18s. 11; d. by sale of articles.
As this 18s. 11%d. was not enough for the supply of the
Orphans for this day, there being nothing at all in hand
besides, and 17. more needed, I took 11. of the 5l. for the
428 [A.D. 1841.
Orphans, and 4!. for the other objects. Through the
same stranger I received also 2s. 6d. from a sister. There
came in this evening 11. 3s. besides.
By the 4!. which I took of the 57, given by the gentle-
man from Devonshire, the most pressing need with regard
to the teachers in the Day Schools is relieved. This
stranger gave me also ll. for Missionary purposes.
Dec. 7. Three weeks and three days we have now been
daily meeting for prayer, on account of the state of the
funds, and to ask the Lord’s blessing upon the work. We
have been daily asking him to supply us with means for
the School—Bible—Missionary—and Tract Fund. Now,
to-day, in this our great poverty, was sent by a sister
from one of the Northern counties, whom I have never
seen, the sum of 50l., of which, according to her wish,
10l. is to be applied for each of these objects, and 10l. for
the Orphans. Thus the Lord has been pleased to send us
a little help, which is greatly needed for all the objects;
for the teachers have had only as much as was absolutely
needful, the Bible stock is almost entirely exhausted, the
Tract stock is quite exhausted, and to some Missionary
brethren we greatly desired to send help, but were unable
to do so. Nevertheless, even now we are waiting upon
the Lord for further supplies.
When this money came, there was none at all in hand
for the Orphans, though for many reasons fresh supplies
were much needed. By this 10!., then, the Lord has
again helped us for the present. There was likewise sent
anonymously by post, ll., “From an elderly lady at
Birmingham.”
Dec. 9. To-day came in for the Orphans by the sale
of stockings 10s. 10d.-We are now brought to the close
of the sixth year of this part of the work, having only in
hand the money which has been put by for the rent; but
during the whole of this year we have been supplied with
all that was needed.
During the last three years we had closed the accounts
on this day, and had, a few days after, some public meet-
ings, at which, for the benefit of the hearers, we stated
how the Lord had dealt with us during the year, and the
substance of what had been stated at those meetings was
afterwards printed for the benefit of the church at large.
This time, however, it appeared to us better to delay for
A.D. 1841.] 429
awhile both the public meetings and the publishing of the
Report. Through grace we had learned to lean upon the
Lord only, being assured that if we never were to speak
or write one single word more about this work, yet should
we be supplied with means, as long as he should enable
us to depend on himself alone. But whilst we neither
had had those public meetings for the purpose of exposing
our necessity, nor had had the account of the Lord’s
dealings with us published for the sake of working thereby
upon the feelings of the readers, and thus inducing them
to give money, but only that we might by our experience
benefit other saints; yet it might have appeared to some
that in making known our circumstances we were actuated
by some such motives. What better proof, therefore,
could we give of our depending upon the living God alone,
and not upon public meetings or printed Reports, than
that, in the midst of our deep poverty, instead of being glad
for the time to have come when we could make known
our circumstances, we still went on quietly for some time
longer, without saying any thing. We therefore deter-
mined, as we sought and still seek in this work to act for
the profit of the saints generally, to delay both the public
meetings and the Reports for a few months. Naturally
we should have been, of course, as glad as any one to have
exposed our poverty at that time; but spiritually we were
enabled to delight even then in the prospect of the in-
creased benefit that might be derived by the church at
large from our acting as we did.—I now proceed where I
left off.
Dec. 11. Since the day before yesterday the following
sums came in for the Orphans, whereby the need of yes-
terday and to-day has been supplied. A brother gave 2!.
A little boy and girl brought the produce of their savings’
banks, amounting to 19s. 5d. By the sale of stockings
came in 15s.1d., and by six donations 10s. 6d.
Dec. 13. Yesterday came in 17. 11s. 6d., and to-day
10s. By this 21. 1s. 6d. this day's need has been met.
There was also very seasonably, half a ton of coals sent,
by a brother, to each of the three Orphan-Houses.
Dec. 14. , Yesterday afternoon a lady sent a sovereign
for the Orphans. There came in 15s. 6d. besides. Thus
we had enough for this day likewise.
Dec. 15. Having now again nothing in hand for the

430 [A.D. 1841.
Orphans, the boxes were opened, in which 4s. 4d. was
found. This, with a little which one of the labourers was
able to add of his own, helped us through the day.
From Nov. 12 up to this day my fellow-labourers in
the Church and I have seen thirty inquirers and candi-
dates for fellowship, and some of them we have seen
repeatedly. How can we sufficiently praise the Lord for
still continuing to use us in his service.
Dec. 16. Nothing at all had come in for the Orphans;
but as one of the labourers had last night, most un-
expectedly, received some money from a distance of about
two hundred miles, and as the Lord inclined his heart
to give of it for the present need, we were supplied for
to-day also.
Dec. 17. In like manner we are helped to-day.
Dec. 18. Saturday morning. There is now the greatest
need, and only 4d. in hand, which I found in the box at
my house; yet I fully believe the Lord will supply us this
day also with all that is required.—Pause a few moments,
dear readerſ Observe two things | We acted for God
in delaying the public meetings, and the publishing of the
Report; but God's way leads always into trial, so far as
sight and sense are concerned. Nature always will be tried
£n God’s ways. The Lord was saying by this poverty,
“I will now see whether you truly lean upon me, and
whether you truly look to me.” Of all the seasons that
I had ever passed through since I had been living in this
way, up to that time, I never knew any period in which
my faith was tried so sharply, as during the four months
from Dec. 12, 1841, to April 12, 1842. But observe
further : We might even now have altered our minds with
respect to the public meetings and publishing the Report;
for no one knew our determination, at this time, concern-
ing the point. Nay, on the contrary, we knew with what
delight very many children of God were looking forward
to receive further accounts. But the Lord kept us stead-
fast to the conclusion, at which we arrived under his
guidance.—Now to return to Saturday, Dec. 18th.
I'vening. The Lord has been very kind to us this day.
In the course of the morning 6s, came in. We had thus,
with what provisions there were in hand, all that was
needed for the dinner, but no means to provide for the
next meal in the afternoon. A few minutes, after the
A.D. 1841.] 431
labourers had met together for prayer this morning, there
was given to one of them a sovereign for himself. By
means of this, all that was needed for tea could be pro-
cured. Another labourer gave 3s. 6d. and two books,
which were sold for 4s. There came in still further in the
course of the afternoon and evening:—by sale of stock-
ings, 8s. 8d.; by needlework, 8d. ; and by sale of articles,
5s. Thus, when we again met in the evening for prayer,
we found that the supplies had amounted to 2l. 8s. 2d.,
enough for all that was required to day. But one thing
more is to be noticed respecting this day. I was informed
that three more of the Orphans have been recently brought
to the knowledge of the truth. We have now been
meeting daily for prayer during the last five weeks, and
thus the Lord has not merely heard our prayers respecting
the funds, but has also blessed these children.
Dec. 20. The Lord has again kindly sent fresh sup-
plies. A sister gave 11, ; a servant sent 11.; another
servant, 2s. 6d.; by sale of articles, 13s. 1d. This morning,
just before I was going to the prayer-meeting, a lady
brought 31.; and 5s. more I received this evening.
Dec. 21. Though 6l. 0s. 7d. had been received yester-
day and the day before, there was only 5s. remaining
towards the supply of the necessities of to-day. At one
o'clock three little boys gave me the produce of their
Orphan-box, which was 4s. 7d. When I came home, I
found that 18l. had come in, being a legacy left for the
Orphans by a lady who died at the commencement of the
year. This money comes in most seasonably, not merely
for the supply of the wants of the children, but also as
enabling me to give to some of the labourers in the Orphan-
IHouses supplies for themselves.
Dec. 23. This is now the sixth week that the labourer
in the Day-Schools and Orphan-Houses have daily met
for prayer. Several precious answers we have already
received since we began to meet, as it regards pecuniary
supplies, fresh instances of conversion among the children,
etc. One of our petitions has been that the Lord would
be pleased to furnish us with means for a stove at Callow-
hill Street School-room. But though we had often men-
tioned this matter before the Lord, he seemed not to
regard our request. Yesterday afternoon, while walking
in my little garden, and meditating and praying, I had an
432 [A.D. 1841.
unusual assurance that the time was now come when the
Lord would answer our request, which arose partly from
my being able to believe that he would send the means,
and partly from the fact that the answer could no longer
be delayed, without prayer having failed in this matter,
as we could not assemble the children again, after the
Christmas vacation, without there being a stove put up.
And now, dear reader, observe:–This morning Ireceived
from A. B. 207., and we have thus much more than is
required for a stove.
Dec. 24. On the 22nd and 23rd 27. 0s. 5d. came in for
the Orphans. The need of to-day was 31. 10s., but only
3!, was in hand. This afternoon, however, 11. was sent
from Kensington and 11. from Plymouth. This evening
we received still further anonymously 4s., and by knitting
2l. 10s.
Dec. 25. By sale of articles was received 14s.2d.
Dec. 26. This afternoon I was walking in my little
garden, meditating on and turning into prayer Rom. viii.
28–32. When I came to verse 32, the necessity of the
Orphans came to my mind, as to-morrow we shall again
need more money than there is in hand, and I therefore
asked the Lord that he would be pleased to give me a
fresh proof that he will “freely give us all things,” by
supplying our present need. This evening I spoke on
the above-mentioned passage, and after the meeting a
sister gave to my wife 122., of which 107, was for the
Orphans, and 21. for my own necessities. There came in
5s. besides. *
Dec. 31. As only 17. 15s. had been received since the
26th, there was again nothing in hand towards the need
of this day. About an hour before the money was sent for
from the Orphan-Houses, an individual who lives in
Redcliff Parish, Bristol, sent 5l. By sale of stockings
came in likewise 8s. 6d. --
A.D. 1841.] 433
REVIEW OF THE YEAR 1841.
I. In reading over my journal, I find that the Lord
has given me during this year many precious answers to
prayer, in addition to those which have been recorded in
the previous part of the Narrative. I mention the fol-
lowing for the encouragement of the reader: 1, One of
the Orphan-Boys needed to be apprenticed. I knew of
no suitable believing master, who would take an in-door
apprentice. I gave myself to prayer, and brought the
matter daily before the Lord. I marked it down among
the subjects for which I would daily ask the Lord; and
at last, though from May 21 to September I had to pray
about the matter, the Lord granted my request; for in
September I found a suitable place for him. 2, On May
23rd I began to ask the Lord that he would be pleased
to deliver a certain sister in the Lord from the great
spiritual depression under which she was suffering, and
after three days the Lord granted me my request. 3,
On June 15th I began to ask the Lord to deliver a brother
at a distance from the great spiritual nervousness in which
he found himself shut up, which not only distressed him
exceedingly, and in a great measure hindered him in his
service towards the world and the church; but which, in
consequence, was also a trial to the saints who knew and
valued this dear brother. This petition I brought many
times before the Lord. The year passed away, and it was
not granted. But yet at last this request also has been
granted to me and to the many dear saints who, I know,
prayed for this dear brother; for though he was for some
years in this state, it is now [in 1845] two years and more
since he has been quite restored. 4, On June 15th I
also began to ask the Lord daily, in his mercy to keep a
sister in the Lord from insanity, who was then apparently
on the very border of it; and I have now [in 1845] to
record to his praise, after nearly four years have passed
away, that the Lord has kept her from it. 5, During
this year I was informed about the conversion of one of
the very greatest sinners, that I ever heard of in all my
service for the Lord. Repeatedly I fell on my knees with
his wife, and asked the Lord for his conversion, when she
came to me in the deepest distress of soul, on account of
her most barbarous and cruel treatment that she received
P P.

434 [A.D. 1841.
from him, in his bitter enmity against her for the Lord's
sake, and because he could not provoke her to be in a
passion, and she would not strike him again, and the like.
At the time when it was at its worst I pleaded especially
on his behalf the promise in Matthew xviii. 19: “Again
I say unto you, that if two of you shall agree on earth as
touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done
for them of my Father which is in heaven.” And now
this awful persecutor is converted. 6, On May 25th I
began to ask the Lord for greater real spiritual prosperity
among the saints, among whom I labour in Bristol, than
there ever yet had been among them; and now I have to
record to the praise of the Lord that truly he has answered
this request; for, considering all things, at no period has
there been more manifestation of grace and truth, and
spiritual power among us, than there is now while I am
writing this for the press (1845). Not that we have at-
tained to what we might; we are far, very far from it; but
the Lord has been very, very good to us, and we have most
abundant cause for thanksgiving.
II. The state of the church with reference to num-
bers, etc.
68 brethren and sisters Brother Craik and I found in
communion, when we came to Bristol.
775 have been admitted into communion since we came
- to Bristol.
843 would be, therefore, the total number of those in com-
munion with us, had there been no changes. But,
101 have left Bristol.
55 have left us, but are still in Bristol.
48 are under church discipline.
67 have fallen asleep.
271 are therefore to be deducted from 843, so that
- there are only 572 at present in communion.
88 have been added during the past year, of whom 30
have been brought to the knowledge of the Lord among
us, and 12 besides, though they knew the Lord, had never
been in fellowship any where: 46 had been at some time
or other in fellowship, but many of them with saints not
residing in Bristol.
III. The Lord’s goodness as to my temporal supplies
during this year.
A.D. 1842.] 435
1. The Lord has been pleased to give me by
means of the anonymous freewill offer-
ings of the saints, put into the boxes
at our meeting places . . . . . . £116 2 4%
2. By presents in money from the brethren
among whom I labour in Bristol . . 43 9 9
3. By presents in money from children of
God not living in Bristol . . . . . 53 19 0
4. By presents in provisions, clothes, furni-
ture, etc., from the saints among whom
I labour, worth to us at least . . . 15 0 0
5. By presents in clothes, etc., from believ-
ers not living in Bristol, worth to us
at least . . . . . . . . . . . 10 0 0
#238 11 13.
Thus during this year also, without asking any one but
the Lord for help with regard to my temporal necessities,
I have been richly supplied with all I needed; yea, I have
had much more than I needed.
January 1, 1842. Last night we had our usual prayer-
meeting at the close of the year, which this time lasted
from seven in the evening, till half-past twelve.
Jan. 3. This evening we had a most precious public
prayer-meeting. When the usual time for closing the
meeting came, it appeared to me that there was a desire
to continue to wait upon the Lord. I therefore proposed
to the brethren that those who had bodily strength, time,
and a desire for waiting still longer upon the Lord, would
do so. At least thirty remained, and we continued till
after ten in prayer, whilst several brethren prayed. I
never knew prayer more really in the Spirit. I experienced
for myself unusual nearness to the Lord, and was enabled
to ask in faith, nothing doubting.
On the 1st of January came in for the Orphans
11. 7s. 6d.; on the 2nd 10l. 13s. 7d.; and to-day came in
from Plymouth 6l., from Exmouth 5l., from a sister in
Bristol 5l., and from the East Indies 21. I have by
this 30l. 1s. 1d. been enabled, as it had been my prayer,
to give some money to the other five sisters who labour in
the Orphan-Houses, for their own personal necessities,
P P 2
436 [A.D. 1842.
. Jan. 4. . As we have often found it to be the case, so it
is now. After a season of more than usual poverty, comes
a time of more than usual abundance. To-day the same
brother, who has been spoken of under November 2nd,
and who has drawn his money out of the Savings'-bank to
spend it for the Lord, sent 201, more of it. There came
in also from Guernsey 11., and 11.7s. besides. I am now
able to order oatmeal from Scotland, buy materials for the
boys’ clothes, order shoes, etc. Thus the Lord has been
pleased to answer all our requests with respect to the
pecuniary necessities of the Orphans, which we have
brought before him in our prayer meetings during the
last seven weeks. We have thus had of late an abundance,
but the expenses have been great also; for within the last
twenty-five days I have paid out above 100l.
Jan. 22. As only little above 321. had been received
since the 4th, there was to-day again only 11. 8s. 0; d. in
hand, whilst 31.8s, was needed, it being Saturday. How-
ever, as the Lord has helped us very many Saturdays,
when we had still less at the commencement of the day,
So it was to-day also. About an hour before the money
was called for, I received from the neighbourhood of
Crediton 4!., which came with the especial recommenda-
tion of a gentleman and lady to introduce the use of
oatmeal in the Orphan-Houses, if we had not done so,
and this money was sent towards the first supply. We
have, however, used oatmeal now for many months, and
have found it decidedly of great benefit to the children.
As about a fortnight since I had ordered 10l. worth from
“Glasgow, through the kind help of two brethren there,
this money came in most seasonably to supply the other
necessities of this day.
Jan. 24. Yesterday the Lord sent in 3!. 5s. 7d., to
supply the need of this day.
Jan. 25. There was now again this morning nothing
in hand for the Orphans. About ten o'clock there was
sent to me, as the produce of an Orphan-box, a small
necklace, an old sixpence, and 5s. 8d. There came in also
by sale of stockings 3s. 9d. As this 9s. 5d. was not enough,
the boxes in the Orphan-Houses were opened, which con-
tained 17s. 2d., and thus we were again supplied.
Perhaps, dear reader, you have said in your heart before
you have read thus far: “How would it be, suppose the
A.D. 1842.] 437
funds for the Orphans were reduced to nothing, and those
who are engaged in the work had nothing of their own to
give, and a meal time were to come, and you had no food
for the children.” Thus indeed it may be, for our hearts
are desperately wicked. If ever we should be so left to
ourselves, as that either we depend no more upon the
living God, or that “we regard iniquity in our hearts,”
then such a state of things, we have reason to believe,
would occur. But so long as we shall be enabled to trust
in the living God, and so long as, though falling short in
every way of what we might be, and ought to be, we are at
least kept from living in sin, such a state of things cannot
occur. Therefore, dear reader, if you yourself walk with
God, and if, on that account, his glory is dear to you, I
affectionately and earnestly entreat you to beseech him to
uphold us; for how awful would be the disgrace brought
upon his holy name, if we, who have so publicly made our
boast in him, and have spoken well of him, should be left
to disgrace him, either by unbelief in the hour of trial, or
by a life of sin in other respects.
Jan. 26. Again there was nothing in hand when the
day commenced. In the course of the morning a gen-
tleman from Yorkshire came to the Orphan-Houses. He
bought two Reports, and one copy of the “Improved
Renderings,” put 2s. 6d. into the box at the Boys'-
Orphan-House, and 8s. into the box at the Infant-Orphan-
House. There was also one penny found in the box at
the Girls'-Orphan-House. This 6s. 10d. would have
provided the absolute necessities for to-day, but it was
desirable to have more means. I therefore opened the
box in my house, in which I found a sovereign and a
shilling. We were thus comfortably provided.
Jan. 27. Last evening came in 4s. This morning a
parcel arrived from E. P., containing 3s., and the following
articles: 7 books, a Bible, 6 pairs of socks, 4 pairs of
babies' shoes, a purse, a lady's comb, a lady's bag, a pair
of knitted over-shoes, and 2 pairs of muffetees. Yesterday
afternoon a gentleman came to see the Orphan-Houses,
and put a sovereign into the box at the Boys'-Orphan-
IIouse, which our need has brought out. We have thus
11. 7s. for this day, Evening. This afternoon came in
still further 21. from a lady at Kensington, on whose heart
the Lord seems to have particularly laid the work. One
P P 3
4.38 [A.D. 1842.
sovereign was from herself, and the other from a friend
of hers.
Jan. 29. The two sovereigns which came in on the
27th supplied our need yesterday. When I had again
nothing in hand, to meet to-day’s necessities, a sister
came last evening, who brought me 17.6s., a sovereign
from another sister, and 6s. from herself. She said: “I
do not know whether the Orphans have a dinner for to-
morrow or not, but I had no rest in delaying to bring
this money.” I had but just then come home from a
meeting, and had on the way to my house been lifting up
my heart to the Lord, that he would be pleased to
remember our need.—This morning was sent from Clap-
ham 11. 2s. 6d., with 3 frocks, a petticoat, 4 handkerchiefs,
and 2 pinafores.
My dear reader, do you indeed recognise the hand of
God in all these instances P I have given instance upon
instance, I have brought before you not this particular
case, nor another particular case; but I have purposely
shown you how we have fared day after day in our poverty,
in order that you may adore the Lord for his goodness to
us, and that you yourself may be led to depend upon him
for every thing, should you not have done so before. I
affectionately beseech you, not to take these instances as
a matter of course. Say not in your heart, This is a
charitable Institution, persons know that the maintenance
of these many Orphans, and the support of these Day
Schools, etc., costs much money, and therefore they will
contribute. Nor suffer Satan to rob you of the blessing
which the account of the Lord’s faithfulness to us, and
his readiness to listen to our supplications is calculated,
with God’s blessing, to communicate to you, by allowing
him to whisper into your ears, that because the Reports
are read by many, donations will of course be coming in,
and that not all at once, but gradually, and that this is
the way in which we are supplied. Dear reader, it is not
thus. Suppose, we have been for some time on the whole,
bountifully supplied. Suppose, now allis gone. Suppose,
the expenses are great, but very little comparatively is
coming in. What shall we do now P If we took goods
on credit, or if we made known our necessities at such
times to the liberal Christians who have means, and who
are interested in the work in our hands, then, humanly,
A.D. 1842.] 439
speaking, there might be little difficulty; but we neither
take goods on credit, nor do we speak to any one about
our need, but we wait upon God. Now, suppose our
expenses are week after week, 30l., 40l., 50l., or 60l.?
Bow are the means to come P Persons might still
give; yea, many persons might still give, but it might
just happen so, that all the donations that are received at
the time when our expenses are most heavy are very
small donations; how shall we do then? Sometimes the
outgoings have been so great, that if I had sold every
thing I possessed, I could not thereby have met the ex-
penses of two weeks. What then is to be done? We
wait upon God, and he always helps us, and has done so
now [i. e. in 1845] for more than nine years with reference
to the Orphans, and for more than eleven with reference
to the other parts of the work.
Feb. 5. Saturday. As only 107. 10s. 6d. had been re-
ceived since January 29th, i.e. only so much as day by
day was needed to provide necessaries for the Orphans,
there is again the greatest need. It is now twelve o’clock,
and there are no means as yet to meet the expenses of
to-day. The words in the prayer of Jehoshaphat,
“Neither know we what to do, but our eyes are upon
thee,” are at this moment the language of my heart. I like-
wise know not what to do, but my eyes are upon the Lord,
and I am sure that he will help this day also. Our kind
Father still gives us proofs that he is mindful of our need;
for last evening were anonymously sent to my house : 2
waistcoats, a shawl, a net collar, 33 yards of print, 2
decanters, and Clarendon's History of England. And
just now, a small silver hook, a pepper box with silver top,
and some muslin work have arrived from Birmingham.
—Evening. In the course of the morning came in, by
sale of articles, 12s. We were able likewise to dispose
of one of the articles, which were sent last evening, for
5s. This afternoon one of the labourers gave me 10s.,
and 3s. came in for needle-work. By means of this
11. 10s, we were able to supply all that was needed,
Feb. 7. Yesterday was received ll, 13s. 5d., and to-
day 5s. 6d. -
Reb. 8. By what came in yesterday, and the day before,
the need of yesterday was supplied, and there is enough
in all the houses for the meals of to-day; but in none of
440 [A.D. 1842.
the houses have we been able to take in any bread; and
as yesterday also but little could be taken in, there will
not remain any for to-morrow ; nor is there money enough
to take in milk to-morrow morning. There are likewise
coals needed in two houses. Indeed, so far as I know,
these three years and seven months, since first the funds.
were exhausted, we were never in greater poverty; and if
the Lord were not to send means before nine o’clock to-
morrow morning, his name would be dishonoured. But I
am fully assured that he will not leave us.—Evening.
The Lord has not yet been pleased to send us what is
needed for to-morrow, but he has given us a fresh proof
that he is mindful of us. Between four and five o’clock
this afternoon were sent nine plum cakes, which a sister
had ordered to be baked as a treat for the Orphans.
These cakes were an encouragement to me to continue to
look out for further supplies. There was also found in the
boxes at the Orpham-Houses, 2s. 1%d., and 1s. 4d. came
in for stockings. These little donations are most pre-
cious, but they are not enough to meet the need of
to-morrow ; yea, before nine o'clock to-morrow morning
we need more money to be able to take in the milk.
Truly, we are poorer than ever; but through grace, my
eyes look not at the empty stores and the empty purse,
but to the riches of the Lord only.
Peb. 9, This morning I went between seven and eight
o'glook to the Orphan-Houses, to see whether the Lord
had sent in any thing. When I arrived there, he had just
two or three minutes before sent help.–A brother, in
going to his house of business this morning, had gone
already about half a mile, when the Lord was pleased to
lay the Orphans upon his heart. He said, however, to
himself, I cannot well return now, but will take some-
thing this evening; and thus he walked on. Neverthe-
less he could not go on any further, but felt himself
constrained to go back, and to take to brother R, B., at
the Boys'-Orphan-House, three sovereigns. [The donor
himself stated this to me afterwards.]—Thus the Lord
in his faithfulness helped us. Help was never more truly
needed, for our poverty was never greater; nor did the
help of the Lord ever come more manifestly from him-
self; for the brother was gone on a good distance, it was
between seven and eight o’clock in the morning, and it was
A.D. 1842.] 441
so short a time before money would have been needed; con-
sider this, beloved reader, and with us praise the Lord for
his goodness. Praise him particularly that he enabled us
to trust in him in this trying hour. There came in besides,
to-day, 7s. 6d.
Feb. 11. The 31, 11s. 6d. supplied our need the last
two days. To-day again a few shillings more were
needed, which one of the labourers was able to give of
his own; but this was only enough to take in the usual
quantity of milk, and some bread.
Feb. 12. Saturday. Never since the funds were for
the first time exhausted, had there come in less during
any week, than during this. We were only able to supply
the absolute necessities; but this we were enabled to do.
When the meal times came, the Lord always provided
what was needful, and, considering the great distress there
is now almost everywhere, our dear Orphans are very
well provided for. Now this day began not only without
there being anything in hand, but our stores were greatly
reduced, and we had to procure provisions for two days.
One of the labourers gave 5s. in the morning, to provide
the means to take in the milk. I collected together some
pamphlets, which had been given for sale, to dispose of
them, and they were sold about eleven o’clock for 4s.
There came in also by sale of stockings 3s., and 12s. was
paid on behalf of one of the Orphans. Thus we were
provided with means to procure a dinner, and had a little
towards purchasing bread, but by no means enough. All
the labourers were together in prayer from half-past
eleven till one, and we separated comfortably, with the
purpose of meeting again in the evening. When I came
home there was given to me an old broken silver pencil
case, which, though worth very little, I took as a fresh
proof that our Father was mindful of our need. When
we met again this evening, we found that 3s. 6d. had
come in by sale of stockings, and 6d. for two Reports.
As all this was not enough, a few old and needless articles
were disposed of for 4s., also the broken pencil case for
6d. I say needless articles, for other articles it did not
seem right to us to dispose of, in order that the Lord's
own deliverance might be manifest. A labourer was also
still further able to give 7s. of his own. To one of the
labourers 2s. had been owed by a certain individual for
more than a twelvemonth, which being paid just now, and
442 [A.D. 1842.
given by him for the Orphans, came in most seasonably.
Thus we had 11. 18s. 6d., as much as was needful to pro-
cure provisions till after breakfast on Monday morning.
However, the Lord helped still further. Between eight
and nine this evening, after we had been together for
prayer, and had now separated, some money was given
to one of the labourers for himself, by which means he
was able to give 9s, so that altogether 21.7s.6d. had
come in this day. This has been of all the weeks, during
the last three years and seven months, one of the most
trying, so far as it regards the trial of faith. Thanks to
the Lord, who has helped us this day also ! Thanks to
him for enabling us already this morning, when we met
for prayer, to praise him for the deliverance, which we
were sure he would work.
Feb. 14. Yesterday came in from Wolverhampton
11. 2s. 6d. and a necklace. There was also given to me
17. 0s. 6d., which had come in by sale of articles, and 6d.
for Reports. In the course of this day came in still
further 3!. 2s. 4d.
Feb. 15. By needlework came in 4s. 9d.
Feb. 16. This morning there was now again onl
sufficient money in hand to take in milk at two of the
houses; but as a labourer was able to give 6s. 6d., we had
sufficient for the milk, and had also enough, with the pro-
visions that were in the houses, to provide for the dinner.
Nothing more came in in the course of the morning, nor
was I able to make inquiries how matters stood. In the
afternoon, between three and four o’clock, having once
more besought the Lord to send us help, I sat peacefully
down to give myself to meditation over the word, con-
sidering that that was now my service, though I knew not
whether there was a morsel of bread for tea in any one of
the houses, but being assured that the Lord would provide.
For, through grace, my mind is so fully assured of the
faithfulness of the Lord, that, in the midst of the greatest
need, I am enabled in peace to go about my other work.
Indeed, did not the Lord give me this, which is the result of
trusting in him, I should scarcely be able to work at all;
for it is now comparatively a rare thing that a day comes,
when I am not in need for one or the other part of the work.
Searcely had I sat down to meditate, when a note was
sent to me from the Orphan-Houses, in which brother
R. B., master of the Orphan Boys, had written thus: “On
A.D. 1842.] 443
visiting the sisters in the Infant and Girls'-Orphan-Houses,
I found them in the greatest need. There was not bread
in one of the houses for tea this evening, and the 6s. 6d.
was scarcely enough to supply what was needed for the
dinner. I therefore opened the box in the Boys'-Orphan-
House, and most unexpectedly found 17. in it. Thus,
through the kindness of the Lord, we were again abun-
dantly supplied as it regards present necessities.” In
the evening the Lord, in his love and faithfulness, stretched
out his hand still further. I had expounded at the meet-
ing a part of John xi. The last words on which I spoke
were: “Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest be-
lieve, thou shouldest see the glory of God P’” When the
meeting was over, as a fresh proof of the truth of this
word, a note was given to me, in which a sick sister sent
me 5l. for the Orphans.
Feb. 17 and 18. These two days came in 8s. 2d.
Feb. 19. Saturday. Our means were now again com-
pletely spent. Our provision stores, were, perhaps, even
more exhausted than on any previous Saturday. There
was not the least human likelihood of obtaining means for
sufficient provisions for this one day, and much less for
two days. When I went before breakfast to the Orphan-
Houses, I found a letter from Nottingham, containing 1s.,
which had arrived last evening. This was not only a
sweet proof that our Father remembered our need, but it
was also like an earnest that he would supply us this day
also with all we required. In the course of the morning
came in by sale of stockings 4s. 11d. In the box at my
house I found 1s. One of the labourers gave 4s. 10d.
Thus we were provided with those things which were
absolutely needed for this day. We met between eleven
and twelve o’clock for prayer. When we met again in
the evening, a second letter had arrived from Nottingham,
with another shilling. This was a further sweet proof of
our Father's loving remembrance of our need; but with
all this we were still without any means to provide bread
for to-morrow, the Lord’s day. At eight o'clock I sepa-
rated from my fellow-labourers, as I expected brother
B. C. to arrive a little after eight at my house. I there-
fore requested one of the brethren to go with me, in order
to take back to the Orphan-Houses what the Lord might
send in by post or in any other way. It was now half-
past eight in the evening, and there was no bread yet
444 [A.D. 1842.
in any one of the three houses for to-morrow. A few
moments after, brother C. arrived, and he had not been
more than about five minutes in my house when he gave
me half a sovereign which he brought for the Orphans.
I soon found an opportunity to leave the room for a little,
gave the 10s. to the brother whom I had brought with
me from the Orphan-Houses, and who was waiting in
another room; and thus between nine and ten o’clock
sufficient bread could be bought. Observel For the trial
of our faith the Lord had allowed us to be kept waiting
so long. When, however, brother C. had arrived, having
money for the Orphans, he could not delay giving it at
once, a matter most worthy of notice. This has been a
week full of trials of faith, but also full of deliverances.
Feb. 21. Since Saturday evening came in 11. 8s. 11d.
There was also sent from Plymouth : a piece of blond, a
piece of quilling net, and eleven pairs of children’s
stockings, for sale. Thus we were supplied with means
for that which was requisite for the beginning of this day;
butas our stores had been soreduced at the end of last week,
there was not enough for tea this afternoon. Four o'clock
had now come, one hour before the usual tea time, when
a brother from Somersetshire came to see the Orphan-
Houses, and put a sovereign into each of the boxes. Our
great need soon brought out the money, and thus we
were supplied. [Observe 1 The brother (as he himself
told me a few days after in the course of conversation),
had but little time, and therefore rather hastily went over
the houses. Had he stayed long and conversed much, as
might have been the case, his donations would not have
been in time for the tea.] There came in 1s. besides, by
needlework done by the children.
Feb. 22. This morning a parcel arrived from the
neighbourhood of Manchester, containing 4 old silver
thimbles, 1 seal, two gold pins, 10 cent (an American
coin), a buckle, a watch key, a broken seal, some pamph-
lets, and 549 sheets of Hintwafers.
Feb. 23. We were again in want of means. A few of
the articles which had come from Manchester were dis-
posed of, and one of the labourers was able to give enough
for what remained to be supplied.—The narrative of the
events of these days is most imperfect. The way in which
the Lord stretched out his hand day by day, and from
- meal to meal, cannot be accurately described. To enter
A.D. 1842.] 445
fully into it, one need be a witness to his inspecting the
stores, so to speak, from meal to meal, and giving us those
things which we needed.
Reb. 24. Yesterday the following clothes were sent:
3 pairs of boys’ trousers, 2 boys' dresses, 2 frocks, a
spencer, 5 pairs of children’s stays, a pair of boots, and
a few other little articles. The clothes were all much
worn, and in other respects not fit for the Orphans; but
the Lord used them to supply us with the means for the
dinner, as they were disposed of this morning. In the
afternoon we again met for prayer. On my way to the
Orphan-Houses, between four and five, when I knew that
there would not be any bread, at least in one of the
houses, for tea, I felt quite peaceful, being fully assured
that for this meal also the Lord would provide. On in-
quiry I found that there was bread enough in the Girls'-
Orphan-House, none at all in the Boys'-Orphan-House,
but enough in the Infant-Orphan-House both for the
Infants and Boys. Therefore we were at this time sup-
plied by the bread which was not needed at the Infant-
Orphan-House. We have thus this day also what is ab-
solutely needful. But now there is no bread in any of
the houses, nor scarcely any thing else in the way of pro-
WIS1011 S.
Eeb. 25. Greater than now our need had never been.
Our trials of faith have never been so sharp as during
this week. Indeed, so much so, that most of the la-
bourers felt to-day considerably tried. Yet neither this
day has the Lord suffered us to be confounded. Through
a remarkable circumstance one of the labourers obtained
some money this morning, so that all the need of to-day
could be amply met. In the afternoon a physician of this
city kindly sent 11. for the Orphans, which was a sweet
proof to us, when we met for prayer, that our kind Father
had not forgotten us. Also on my way to the prayer-
meeting at the Orphan-Houses I received 9s.
Eeb. 26. My prayer this morning was in particular
that the Lord would be pleased now to look in pity upon
us, and take off his hand. Indeed, for several days my
prayer has been that he would enable us to continue to
trust in him, and not lay more upon us than he would
enable us to bear. This is now again Saturday. There
having been given yesterday a rich supply to the matrons,
Q Q
446 [A.D. 1842.
I knew that not so much as usual would be required this
Saturday; still I thought that 11.10s. would be needed.
Between ten and eleven o’clock this morning a parcel
came from Clapham, containing 21. 2s., with 2 frocks,
2 petticoats, 2 chemises, 2 pinafores, and 6 handkerchiefs
(all new). Thus we were richly supplied for to-day, for
only 17, 10s. was needed. There was moreover half-a-so-
vereign put into the box at my house this day by a little
boy, and 2s. 6d. came in by sale of articles. Thus we
were brought to the close of a week in which more than
at any previous time the Lord has been pleased to try
our faith. To him most manifestly we owe it that our
faith has not failed completely.
Feb. 28. Yesterday Q. Q. gave me an order for 87.
As it was left to me to lay out the money as I thought
well, I put 4!. of it to the School-Fund, and 4!. to the
Orphan-Fund. Thus both parts of the work have been
again most seasonably helped, as to-day the teachers in
the Day-Schools greatly needed some money for them-
selves. To-day 13s. was received for the Orphans. -
March 2. Yesterday I found a sovereign in the Or-
phan-box at my house; received 9s. 23d. from three little
boys, being the produce of their Orphan-box; 2s. 6d. for
IReports; and 11. 10s., being the profit of the sale of
ladies’ baskets. Thus we were again supplied for yester-
day and to-day. This evening were also sent, by order of
an Irish sister, 33% lbs. of woollen yarn. Respecting
this donation it is to be remarked, that last Saturday we
had asked the Lord in our prayer meeting, that he would
be pleased to send us means to purchase worsted, in order
that the boys might go on with their knitting.
March 3. Yesterday 5s. came in, and this evening a
sovereign, when there was now again great need, there
being no money in hand.
March 5. Saturday. It was not a small deliverance
that the Lord sent this morning, between ten and eleven
o'clock 21. 10s. from Edinburgh, when there were no
means in hand to meet this day’s necessities, nay, not
even the means to procure a dinner, as only 4s. had come
in yesterday.—Evening. About eight o'clock a gentle-
man called on me. He said “I conne at a late hour, but
I trust not the less acceptable on that account. I bring
you a little money for the Orphans.” He them gave me
A.D. 1842.] 447
two sovereigns. When I requested him to give me his
Iname, he told me, that if the giving of his name would
be of any benefit he would do so, but as it would not, I
might simply put down in the Report “Sent,” for he was
sure that the Lord had sent him.—I believe it, for the help
came most seasonably and in answer to prayer. There
was likewise taken out of the box in my house half-a-
sovereign. - -
March 9. At a time of the greatest need, both with
regard to the Day-Schools and the Orphans, so much so
that we could not have gone on any longer without help,
I received this day 10!. from a brother who lives near
Dublin. The money was divided between the Day-
Schools and the Orphan-Houses. The following little
circumstance is to be noticed respecting this donation:—
As our need was so great, and my soul was, through grace,
truly waiting upon the Lord, I looked out for supplies in
the course of this morning. The post, however, was out,
and no supplies had come... This did not in the least dis-
courage me. I said to myself, the Lord can send means
without the post, or even now, though the post is out, by
this very delivery of letters he may have sent means,
though the money is not yet in my hands. It was not
long, after I had thus spoken to myself, when, according
to my hope in God, we were helped; for the brother who
sent us the 10!., had this time directed his letter to the
Boys’-Orphan-House, whence it was sent to me.
March 11. Yesterday a box arrived from one of the
Northern counties, respecting which the donor had re-
quested that neither the articles which it contained, nor
the name of the place whence it came, should be men-
tioned in the public account. I, therefore, only state
here that thus the Lord has again most seasonably helped
us, besides giving us a fresh proof, in raising up this new
and anonymous donor, that he does not cease to care for
us. It is intended to apply the produce of the articles
contained in the box partly for the Orphans, and partly
for the other objects. Though the box arrived only yes-
terday, we are even this day helped through means of
it; for we disposed to-day of some of the articles to the
amount of 91.6s. 6d. Of this sum 77. 6s. 6d. was divided
among the teachers, who much needed it; and 21. was
taken for the Orphan-Fund, without which the need of
Q Q 2
448 [A.D. 1842.
this day could not have been supplied in the Orphan-
Houses.
March 17. From the 12th to the 16th had come in
4!. 5s. 11; d. for the Orphans. This morning our poverty,
which now has lasted more or less for several months, had
become exceedingly great. I left my house a few minutes
after seven to go to the Orphan-Houses to see whether
there was money enough to take in the milk, which is
brought about eight o’clock. On my way it was especi-
ally my request, that the Lord would be pleased to pity us,
even as a father pitieth his children, and that he would
not lay more upon us than he would enable us to bear.
I especially entreated him that he would now be pleased
to refresh our hearts by sending us help. I likewise
reminded him of the consequences that would result,
both in reference to believers and unbelievers, if we
should have to give up the work because of want of
means, and that he therefore would not permit its coming
to nought. I moreover again confessed before the Lord
that I deserved not that he should continue to use me in
this work any longer. While I was thus in prayer, about
two minutes' walk from the Orphan-Houses, I met a
brother who was going at this early hour to his business.
After having exchanged a few words with him, I went
on ; but he presently ran after me, and gave me 11, for
the Orphans. Thus the Lord speedily answered my
prayer. Trudy, it is worth being poor and greatly tried
in faith, for the sake of having day by day such precious
proofs of the loving interest which our kind Father takes
in every thing that concerns us. And how should our
Father do otherwise ? He that has given us the greatest
possible proof of his love which he could have done, in
giving us his own Son, surely he will with him also freely
give us all things. It is worth also being poor and
greatly tried in faith, if but thereby the hearts of the
children of God may be comforted and their faith
strengthened, and if but those who do not know God, and
who may read or hear of his dealings with us, should be
led thereby to see, that faith in God is more than a mere
notion, and that there is indeed reality in Christianity.
In the course of this day there came in still further 13s.
March 19. Saturday. As it has often been the case
on Saturdays, so it was this day in particular. We began

A.D., 1842.] 449
the day in very great poverty, as only 7s, had come in
since the day before yesterday. There was not one ray
of light as to natural prospects. The heart would be
Overwhelmed at such seasons, were there not an abun-
dance of repose to be found by trusting in God. The
trial having continued so long, and our poverty having
now come to such a degree, that it was necessary we
should have help, in order that the name of the Lord
might not be dishonoured, I had proposed to my fellow-
labourers that we should set apart this day especially for
prayer. We met accordingly at half-past ten in the
morning. By that time had come in 4.s. 6d., 7s.6d., and
10s. In the afternoon we met again at three, when 10s.
came in. In the evening at seven we met once more,
there being yet about three shillings needed, to provide
all that was required. This also we received, and even
3s. more than was actually needed came in, just when we
were about to separate. -
To-day we were also very poor with reference to our
own personal necessities. In the morning we had only
2#d. left, when a sister in the Lord, who knew nothing
about our need, gave us the contents of her purse, being
il. 7s.
March 23. This afternoon, when we had no money at
all of our own, a brother gave us 3s. for ourselves.
March 25. During the last four days we received
6l. 12s. 2d. for the Orphans. This morning, when we
were now again without any thing, a parcel arrived from
Clapham, containing ll. 10s. with a frock, a chemise,
2 petticoats, 2 pinafores, and 2 handkerchiefs (all new).
About the same time was sent a post-office order from
Bath for 21. This is no small deliverance. The need has
been so great during this week that the matrons, in order
that there might be no lack in the way of provisions for
the children, have been unable to order even half-a-ton of
coals at once, and have been obliged to buy them in very
small quantities.
When again we had only 6d. left for our own personal
necessities, I received 9s.
March 26. We are helped to the close of one more
week with reference to our own personal necessities.
During this week we have had several times not one
single penny for ourselves; yet during this week also we
Q Q 3 -
450 [A.D. 1842.
have had all that was needed in the way of nourishing
food, etc., and we have 3d. left.
March 30. From the 25th up to this day we were
poor, with reference to the Orphans, but the Lord helped
us. This morning a brother from Devonshire came to
stay for a few days with me. He gave me two sovereigns
for the Orphans, and told me the following facts in con-
nexion with them. Last year he portioned out a piece of
ground, for the benefit of the Orphans. Having done so,
all the members of the family were gathered together,
and he asked with them the Lord’s blessing upon the
crop, that was to be planted. This prayer was often re-
peated afterwards, while the crop was known to belong to
the Orphans; and the ground yielded a good crop. The
potatoes were to have been sent, but it was considered
better to sell them for the benefit of the Orphans, and
now this brother brought the produce. These two sove-
reigns came in most seasonably, as they were only just in
time to supply the dinner and other necessaries of this
day; for when I came with the brother from the railway
station to my house, I found an Orphan boy waiting for
'money, and I had nothing in hand. This evening Ireceived
still further from a sister 17. 1s. 5; d.
This morning we had not one single halfpenny left for
our own necessities, when two brethren arrived to stay
with us for some days, the one from Somersetshire and
the other from the North of Devon. The brother from
the North of Devon brought 12s. for my own use from
Barnstaple, and also gave 11, to my dear wife this after-
noon for our own need. Thus we were again supplied.
My mind had been quite in peace on account of our own
need, and the only inconvenience that we had in this case
was, that our dinner was about half an hour later than
usual. Such a thing, as far as I remember, scarcely ever
occurred before, and has never occurred since; but sup-
pose it had, it is well, in some little measure, to know
from one's own experience the meaning of that word, “I
know both how to be abased, and I, know how to abound:
everywhere and in all things I am instructed both to be
full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.”
Philip iv. 12. - -
March 31. This afternoon 5s. came in from Bath, and
from a sister in the Lord in one of the Northern counties
A.D. 1842.] 451
5l. for the Orphans and 157. for the other objects; and
through the same donor 12s. This money arrived when
there was again only 5s. in hand for the Orphans, which
had come in this afternoon, and when there was particu-
lar need of means, as many pairs of shoes needed to be
mended, and other extra expenses were to be met. When
this money came, there was also great need of fresh
supplies for the lay-Schools, on account of which this
donation was a precious help from the Tord.
April 2. We received 17. 19s. 6d. for the Orphans.
April 4. When again our little stock had been ex-
hausted, the Lord was pleased to send in yesterday 5l.
through a sister of Bristol; also by sale of articles 10s.,
and by Reports 5s. To-day came in from Kensington 17.
April 6. As only 3s. Imore had come in yesterday, the
money was now again all gore, when this evening was
sent from a distance a post office order for 27.
April 8. This afternoon, when again much money was
needed, we received from Plymouth 11., and from a donor
in Bristol 17.
April 9. Saturday. Only 1s. 6d. had come in since
yesterday afternoon. We needed more money than there
was in hand, especially as it was Saturday, but the Lord
was pleased particularly to try our faith. In the course
of the morning came from some sisters in Dublin, 18
yards of calico, 34 yards of print, 43 balls of cotton, and
a pair of worn lady's boots This donation came most
Seasonably, as we had been mentioning repeatedly the
Ineed of calico and print in our prayers, and the sewing
cotton and the pair of boots came at once into use.
Moreover, this donation was a sweet encouragement to
Ime to continue waiting upon the Lord. Evening was
now approaching, and no money had yet come in for pro-
visions, etc., which would be needed on the Lord’s day.
About six o'clock, I gave myself once more to prayer
with my wife, and requested the Lord in my prayer that
if the sister, who in love to him has taken upon her the
service of disposing of the articles which are given for
sale, had any money in hand, he would be pleased to
incline her heart to bring or send the money this evening.
After this I sat down peacefully to read the Scriptures,
being assured that this time also the Lord would stretch
out his hand on our behalf. About half-past seven o'clock
{
ſ'
{
*
1
452 [A.D. 1842.
the sister, to whom reference has just now been made, came
and brought 11. 10s. 4d. for articles which she had sold,
stating that though she was unwell, yet she felt herself
constrained not to delay bringing this money. Thus we had
all that was needed, and 6s. more. When I arrived with
the money at the Infant-Orphan-House, about eight
o'clock, I found my fellow-labourers in prayer, and while
we still continued in prayer a sister sent a large basket of
stale bread, being five brown loaves, seven bread cakes,
and five French loaves.
April 11. It is this day six years since the first children
were taken in, and, as usual, we are poor this day also :
for only 13s. 10%d. has come in since Saturday evening.
April 12. We were never in greater need than to-day,
perhaps never in so much, when I received this morning
100l. from the East Indies. It is impossible to describe
the real joy in God it gave me. My prayer had been
again this morning particularly, that our Father would
pity us, and now at last send larger sums. I was not in
the least surprised or eaceited, when this donation came, for
I took it as that which came in answer to prayer, and had
been long looked for. As it was left to me to use the
money as might be most needed, I took one half of it for
the Orphan Fund, and the other half for the other funds.
We have thus also an answer to our prayer for oatmeal,
new shoes, and for means to enable us to have the old
shoes mended, means for replenishing somewhat our
stores, money for some articles of clothing for the children,
and also a little money for the sisters who labour in the
Orphan-Houses. How precious to look to the Lord! I
was always sure that he would at last send larger sums,
therefore had my heart been kept in peace, though my
faith had never been more tried than during the last
months.
April 14. There was half-a-sovereign taken out of the
box at the Boys'-Orphan-House this morning. This
afternoon three individuals called on me. One of them
gave 6l., 3 collars, and 2 veils, and brought likewise 3 gold
rings. Another of them gave me 2s. 6d. After they had
left I found in my room on the mantlepiece in a paper 2
sovereigns for my own personal expenses, and in three
papers 3 sovereigns for the three Orphan-Houses, and
also a fourpenny piece on the floor.
}
y
}
t
A.D. 1842.] 453
April 30. As since the 14th only little more than 16!.
had come in, there was again this day not quite enough
in hand to supply all that was needed. However, the
Lord sent from Clapham a parcel, which contained 10s.,
2 frocks, 2 pinafores, 2 handkerchiefs, 2 nightcaps, and 2
pieces of list.
May 1. To-day was given by a brother a gold watch
with a small gold chain and key. The gift was accompa-
nied by the following note to me:
“Beloved Brother,
“A pilgrim does not want such a watch as this to
make him happy; one of an inferior kind will do to show
him how swiftly his time flies, and how fast he is hasten-
ing on to that Canaan where time will be no more : so
that it is for you to do with this what seemeth good to
you. It is the last relic of earthly vanity, and, while I am
in the body, may I be kept from all idolatry.
Your affectionate brother,
# * * *.”
May 2. There was now again no money in hand, not
even the few shillings which were required to take in the
milk to-morrow morning, when a sister gave a sovereign
to brother R. B. for the Orphans, whereby we are helped.
May 6. Only 31, 10s. 2%d. had been received since the
2nd, on which account there would have been only enough
means in hand to provide for the breakfast to-morrow
morning, when in this our fresh need 801. was sent by the
same brother who has been spoken of under “June 4,
1841,” in the details respecting the other funds; and
also 6l. from Great Malvern. The half af this 80l. was
put to the Orphan Fund, and the other half to the other
funds; the donation from Great Malvern was put to the
fund for the other objects. There arrived at the same
time from the East Indies by post a small parcel, contain-
ing 2 pairs of gold ear-rings, a brooch, and 2 rupees.
These donations come especially in season, as they enable
me to give supplies to the brethren and sisters who labour
in the Day Schools and Orphan-Houses for their own
personal necessities, besides meeting the wants in other
respects.
May 10. 6l. 15s. 10d. more has come in since the 6th.
454 [A.D. 1842.
To-day, in closing the accounts, we have left at the end of
this period of seventeen months, in which we have been
so often penniless, the sum of 16l. 18s. 10%d. for the
Orphans, and 48l. 12s. 54d. for the other objects of the
Scriptural Knowledge Institution.
The time now seemed to us to have come, when, for the
profit of the church at large, the Lord's dealings with us,
with reference to the various objects of the Scriptural
Rnowledge Institution, should be made known by pub-
lishing another Report. For, whilst we, on purpose, had
delayed it at this time five months longer than during the
previous years, and that during a period when we were in
deeper poverty than during any previous time; yet, as
from the commencement it had appeared to me important
from time to time to make known the Lord’s dealings
with us, so I judged it profitable still, to seek to comfort,
to encourage, to exhort, to instruct, and to warn the dear
children of God by the printed accounts of the Lord's
goodness to us.
The following are a fewadditional remarks with reference
to the period of the seventeen months previous to May
10, 1842.
1. Though our trials of faith during these seventeen
months lasted longer, and were sharper than during any
previous period, yet during all this time the Orphans had
every thing that was needful in the way of nourishing
food, the necessary articles of clothing, etc. Indeed I
should rather at once send the children back to their re-
lations than keep them without sufficient maintenance.
2. I desire that all the children of God, who may read
these details, may thereby be led to increased and more
simple confidence in God for every thing which they may
need under any circumstances, and that these many
answers to prayer may encourage them to pray, particu-
larly as it regards the conversion of their friends and
relations, their own progress in grace and knowledge, the
state of the saints whom they may know personally, the
state of the church of Christ at large, and the success of
the preaching of the Gospel. Especially I affectionately
warn them against being led away by the device of Satan,
to think that these things are peculiar to me, and cannot
be enjoyed by all the children of God; for though, as has
been stated before, every believer is not called upon to
A.D. 1842.] 455
establish Orphan-Houses, Charity Schools, etc., and trust
in the Lord for means, yet all believers are called upon,
in the simple confidence of faith, to cast all their burdens
upon him, to trust in him for every thing, and not only to
make every thing a subject of prayer, but to expect
answers to their petitions which they have asked accord-
ing to his will, and in the name of the Lord Jesus.—
Think not, dear reader, that I have the gift of faith, that
is that gift of which we read in 1 Cor. xii. 9, and which is
mentioned along with “the gifts of healing,” “the work-
ing of miracles,” “prophecy,” and that on that account
I am able to trust in the Lord. It is true that the faith,
which I am enabled to exercise, is altogether God’s own
gift ; it is true that he alone supports it, and that he alone
can increase it; it is true that, moment by moment, I
depend upon him for it, and that if I were only one mo-
ment left to myself, my faith would utterly fail; but it is
not true that my faith is that gift of faith which is spoken
of in 1 Cor. xii. 9, for the following reasons.
1, The faith which I am enabled to exercise with refer-
ence to the Orphan-Houses and my own temporal
Inecessities, is not that “faith” of which it is said in
1 Cor. xiii. 2 (evidently in allusion to the faith spoken of
in 1 Cor. xii. 9), “Though I have all faith, so that I could
remove mountains, and have not charity (love), I am
nothing; but it is the self-same faith which is found in
every believer, and the growth of which I am most sensible
of to myself; for, by little and little, it has been in-
creasing for the last six and twenty years.
2, This faith which is exercised respecting the Orphan-
Houses and my own temporal necessities, shows itself in
the same measure, for instance, concerning the following
points: I have never been permitted to doubt during the
last twenty-seven years that my sins are forgiven, that I
am a child of God, that I am beloved of God, and that I
shall be finally saved; because I am enabled, by the grace
of God, to exercise faith upon the word of God, and be-
lieve what God says in those passages which settle these
matters (1 John v. 1–Gal. iii. 26—Acts x. 43–Romans
x. 9, 10—John iii. 16, etc.)—Further, At the time when
I thought I should be insane (though there was not the
least ground for thinking so), as recorded on pages 211,
212, and 225, I was in peace, quite in peace; because my
456 [A.D. 1842.
soul believed the truth of that word, “We know that all
things work together for good to them that love God.”
Rom. viii. 28.—Further, when my brother in the flesh,
and my dear aged father died, and when concerning both
of them I had no evidence whatever that they were saved
(though I dare not say that they are lost, for I know it
not), yet my soul was at peace, perfectly at peace, under
this great trial, this exceedingly great trial, this trial
which is one of the greatest perhaps which can befall a
believer. And what was it that gave me peace P My
soul laid hold on that word, “Shall not the judge of all the
earth do right P” This word, together with the whole
character of God, as he has revealed himself in his holy
word, settled all questionings. I believed what he has
said concerning himself, and I was at peace, and have
been at peace ever since, concerning this matter.—Fur-
ther, When the Lord took from me a beloved infant, my
soul was at peace, perfectly at peace, I could only weep
tears of joy when I did weep. And why P. Because my
soul laid hold in faith on that word: “Of such is the
kingdom of Heaven.” Matthew xix. 14. Believing,
therefore, as I did, upon the ground of this word, my soul
rejoiced, instead of mourning, that my beloved infant was
far happier with the Lord, than with me.—Further, When
sometimes all has been dark, exceedingly dark, with re-
ference to my service among the saints, judging from
natural appearances; yea, when I should have been over-
whelmed indeed in grief and despair had I looked at
things after the outward appearance : at such times I have
sought to encourage myself in God, by laying hold in
faith on his almighty power, his unchangeable love, and
his infinite wisdom, and I have said to myself: God is
able and willing to deliver me, if it be good for me; for
it is written: “He that spared not his own Son, but
delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him.
also freely give us all things P” Rom viii. 32. This, this
it was which, being believed by me through grace, kept
my soul in peace.—Further, When in connexion with the
Orphan-Houses, Day Schools, etc., trials have come upon
me which were far heavier than the want of means, when
lying reports were spread that the Orphans had not
enough to eat, or that they were cruelly treated in other
respects, and the like; or when other trials, still greater,
A.D. 1842.] 457
but which I cannot mention, have befallen me in connex-
ion with this work, and that at a time when I was nearly
a thousand miles absent from Bristol, and had to remain
absent week after week: at such times my soul was
stayed upon God; I believed his word of promise which
was applicable to such cases; I poured out my soul before
God, and arose from my knees in peace, because the
trouble that was in the soul was in believing prayer cast
upon God, and thus I was kept in peace, though I saw it
to be the will of God to remain far away from the work.
—Further, When I needed houses, fellow-labourers,
masters and mistresses for the Orphans or for the Day
Schools, I have been enabled to look for all to the Lord,
and trust in him for help.–Dear reader, I may seem
to boast; but, by the grace of God, I do not boast in
thus speaking. From my inmost soul I do ascribe it to
God alone that he has enabled me to trust in him, and
that hitherto he has not suffered my confidence in him to
fail. But I thought it needful to make these remarks, lest
any one should think that my depending upon God was a
particular gift given to me, which other saints have no
right to look for; or lest it should be thought that this my
depending upon him had only to do with the obtaining of
MONEY by prayer and faith. By the grace of God I desire
that my faith in God should extend towards EVERY thing,
the smallest of my own temporal and spiritual concerns,
and the smallest of the temporal and spiritual concerns of
my family, towards the saints among whom I labour, the
church at large, every thing that has to do with the tem-
poral and spiritual prosperity of the Scriptural Knowledge
Institution, etc. Tear Reader, do not think that I have
attained in faith (and how much less in other respects 1)
to that degree to which I might and ought to attain; but
thank God for the faith which he has given me, and ask
him to uphold and increase it. And lastly, once more, let
not Satan deceive you in making you think that you could
not have the same faith, but that it is only for persons
who are situated as I am. When I lose such a thing as
a key, I ask the Lord to direct me to it, and I look for an
answer to my prayer; when a person with whom I have
made an appointment does not come, according to the fixed
time, and I begin to be inconvenienced by it, I ask the
Lord to be pleased to hasten him to me, and I look for an
R. R.
458 [A.D. 1842.
answer; when I do not understand a passage of the word
of God, I lift up my heart to the Lord, that he would be
pleased, by his holy Spirit, to instruct me, and I expect to
be taught, though I do not fix the time when, and the
manner how it should be ; when I am going to minister
in the word, I seek help from the Lord, and while I in
the consciousness of natural inability as well as utter
unworthiness, begin this his service, I am not cast down,
but of good cheer, because I look for his assistance, and
believe that he, for his dear Son’s sake, will help me. And
thus in other of my temporal and spiritual concerns I
pray to the Lord, and expect an answer to my requests;
and may not you do the same, dear believing reader P
Oh I I beseech you, do not think me an extraordinary be-
liever, having privileges above other of God’s dear
children, which they cannot have ; nor look on my way of
acting as something that would not do for other believers.
Make but trial! Do but stand still in the hour of trial,
and you will see the help of God, if you trust in him.
But there is so often a forsaking the ways of the Lord in
the hour of trial, and thus the food for faith, the means
whereby our faith may be increased, is lost. This leads
me to the following important point. You ask, How may
I, a true believer, have my faith strengthened P. The
answer is this:
I. “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from
above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with
whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.”
James i. 17. As the increase of faith is a good gift, it
must come from God, and therefore he ought to be asked
for this blessing.
II. The following means, however, ought to be used :
1, The careful reading of the word of God, combined with
'meditation on it. Through reading of the word of God,
and especially through meditation on the word of God,
the believer becomes more and more acquainted with the
nature and character of God, and thus sees more and
more, besides his holiness and justice, what a kind, loving,
gracious, merciful, mighty, wise, and faithful being he is,
and, therefore, in poverty, affliction of body, bereavement
in his family, difficulty in his service, want of a situation
or employment, he will repose upon the ability of God to
help him, because he has not only learned from his word
A.D. 1842.] 459
that he is of Almighty power and infinite wisdom, but he
has also seen instance upon instance in the Holy Scrip-
tures in which his Almighty power and infinite wisdom
have been actually exercised in helping and delivering his
people; and he will repose upon the willingness of God
to help him, because he has not only learned from the
Scriptures what a kind, good, merciful, gracious, and
faithful being God is, but because he has also seen in the
word of God, how in a great variety of instances he has
proved himself to be so. And the consideration of this,
if God has become known to us through prayer and medi-
tation on his own word, will lead us, in general at least,
with a measure of confidence to rely upon him: and thus
the reading of the word of God, together with meditation
on it, will be one especial means to strengthen our faith.
2, As with reference to the growth of every grace of the
Spirit, it is of the utmost importance that we seek to
maintain an upright heart and a good conscience, and,
therefore, do not knowingly and habitually indulge in
those things which are contrary to the mind of God, so it
is also particularly the case with reference to the growth
Žn faith. How can I possibly continue to act faith upon
God, concerning any thing, if I am habitually grieving
him, and seek to detract from the glory and honour of
him in whom I profess to trust, upon whom I profess to
depend? All my confidence towards God, all my leaning
upon him in the hour of trial will be gone, if I have a
guilty conscience, arid do not seek to put away this guilty
conscience, but still continue to do things which are con-
trary to the mind of God. And if, in any particular
instance, I cannot trust in God, because of the guilty
conscience, then my faith is weakened by that instance of
distrust; for faith with every fresh trial of it either
increases by trusting God, and thus getting help, or it
decreases by not trusting him; and then there is less and
less power of looking simply and directly to him, and a
habit of self dependance is begotten or encouraged. One
or other of these will always be the case in each particular
instance. Either we trust in God, and in that case we
neither trust in ourselves, nor in our fellowmen, nor in
circumstances, nor in any thing besides; or we Do trust
in one or more of these, and in that case do NOT trust in
God, 3, If we, indeed, desire our faith to be strengthened,
g B R 2
460 [A.D. 1842.
we should not shrink from opportunities where our faith
may be tried, and, therefore, through the trial, be strength-
ened. In our natural state we dislike dealing with God
alone. Through our natural alienation from God we
shrink from him, and from eternal realities. This cleaves
to us more or less, even after our regeneration. Hence it
is that, more or less, even as believers, we have the same
shrinking from standing with God alone,—from depending
upon him alone,—from looking to him alone —and yet
this is the very position in which we ought to be, if we
wish our faith to be strengthened. The more I am in a
position to be tried in faith with reference to my body,
my family, my service for the Lord, my business, etc., the
more shall I have opportunity of seeing God's help and
deliverance; and every fresh instance, in which he helps
and delivers me, will tend towards the increase of my
faith. On this account, therefore, the believer should
not shrink from situations, positions, circumstances, in
which his faith may be tried, but should cheerfully embrace
them as opportunities where he may see the hand of God
stretched out on his behalf, to help and deliver him, and
whereby he may thus have his faith strengthened. 4,
The last important point for the strengthening of our
faith is, That we let God work for us, when the hour of
the trial of our faith comes, and do not work a deliverance
of our own. Wherever God has given faith, it is given,
among other reasons, for the very purpose of being tried.
Yea, however weak our faith may be, God will try it;
only with this restriction, that as, in every way, he leads
us on gently, gradually, patiently, so also with reference
to the trial of our faith. At first our faith will be tried
very little, in comparison with what it may be afterwards;
for God never lays more upon us than he is willing to
enable us to bear. Now, when the trial of faith comes,
we are naturally inclined to distrust God, and to trust
rather in ourselves, or in our friends, or in circumstances.
We will rather work a deliverance of our own somehow
or other, than simply look to God and wait for his help.
But if we do not patiently wait for God's help, if we work
a deliverance of our own, then at the next trial of our
faith it will be thus again, we shall be again inclined to
deliver ourselves; and thus, with every fresh instance of
that kind, our faith will decrease; whilst, on the contrary,
A.D. 1842.] 461
were we to stand still in order to see the salvation of
God, to see his hand stretched out on our behalf, trusting
in him alone, then our faith would be increased, and with
every fresh case in which the hand of God is stretched
Out on our behalf in the hour of the trial of our faith, our
faith would be increased yet more. Would the believer,
therefore, have his faith strengthened, he must, especially,
give time to God, who tries his faith in order to prove to
his child, in the end, how willing he is to help and deliver
him, the moment it is good for him.
I now return, dear Reader, to the narrative, giving you
Some further information with reference to the 17 months,
from December 10, 1840, to May 10, 1842, as it respects
the Orphan-Houses, and other objects of the Scriptural
Knowledge Institution for Home and Abroad, besides the
facts of which mention has been already made.
During this period also—1, Two Sunday Schools were
entirely supported by the funds of the Institution. 2,
There were two adult schools, one for females, and one
for males, entirely supported during these 17 months, in
which, on two evenings of the week the males, and on two
evenings the females were instructed, quite gratuitously,
in reading and writing, and were furnished with books
and writing materials gratuitously. There were, during
these 17 months, 344 adults taught in these two schools,
and on May 10, 1842, the number under instruction
amounted to 110. The chief object of these adult schools
is, to teach grown up persons to read, in order that they
may themselves be able to read the Holy Scriptures;
but, at the same time, those who teach them take oppor-
tunity to point out the way of salvation to them, and,
while the word of God is read, they seek to make remarks
on the portions which are read:—3. There were, during
these 17 months, also six Day Schools entirely supported
by the funds of the Institution, three for boys and three
for girls. These schools are principally intended to enable
persons of the poorer classes of the inhabitants of Bristol,
to send their children to school, either entirely free, or on
paying only the fifth or sixth part of the expenses con-
nected with the instruction which the children receive ;
they are also, especially, intended to keep believing parents,
who have not much means, from the necessity of sending
their children to unbelievers for instruction. On May 10,
- R R. 3
462 [A.D. 1842
1842, the number of the children who attended these
Day Schools, was 363; and the total number, who from
the formation of the Institution, on March 5, 1834, up to
May 10, 1842, had been instructed in the Day-Schools,
which are supported by the funds of the Institution,
amounts to 2616.-4. During these 17 months, 798 copies
of the Holy Scriptures were circulated, and from the
commencement of the Institution, up to May 10, 1842,
6,842 copies. 5. Turing these 17 months was spent for
Missionary purposes, the sum of 126l. 15s. 3d. of the
funds of the Institution, whereby assistance was rendered
to the work of God in Jamaica, in Australia, in Canada,
and in the East Indies. 6. At the commencement of
these 17 months, i.e. on December 10, 1840, a new object
was begun, the circulation of such publications as may be
beneficial, with the blessing of God, to benefit both unbe-
lievers and believers. We laid out for this object, during
these 17 months, from December 10, 1840, to May 10,
1842, the sum of 627. 17s. 4d., for which twenty-two
thousand one hundred and ninety such little publications
were purchased, and of which number nineteen thousand
six hundred and nine were actually given away.—7.
There were received into the three Orphan-Houses, from
Dec. 10, 1840, to May 10, 1842, 15 Orphans, who,
together with those who were in the houses on Dec. 10,
1840, make up 106 in all. Of these, five girls were sent
out to service, two boys and one girl were apprenticed,
one girl was removed by a lady who had placed her for a
time under our care, and one was sent back to his rela-
tions, as he was injurious to the other children.
There were on May 10, 1842, 96 Orphans in the three
houses, i. e. 30 in the Girls'-Orphan-House, 37 in the
Infant-Orphan-House, and 29 in the Boys'-Orphan-
House. Besides this, three apprentices were supported
by the funds of the Institution, so that the total number
was 99. The number of Orphans who were under our
care from April, 1836, to May 10, 1842, amounts to 144.
I notice further the following points in connexion with
the Orphan-Houses. -
Without any one having been asked for any thing by me,
the sum of 5,276l. 14s. 8d. was given to me from the
beginning of the work up to May 10, 1842, as the result
of prayer to God. Besides this, also, many articles of

A.D. 1842.] 463
clothing, furniture, provisions, &c.—During these 17
months we had very little sickness in the three houses,
and not one of the children died. I desire publicly to state
this, and in it to acknowledge the hand of God.
The total of the expenditure for the various objects of
the Institution, exclusive of the Orphan-Houses, during
these 17 months, amounted to 710l. 11s. 5d.; the total of
the income amounted to 746l. 1s. 0#d. The total of
the expenditure for the three Orphan-Houses, from
December 10, 1840, to May 10, 1842, amounted to
1,3371. 15s. 2; d.; the total of the income amounted to
1,3397. 13s. 7d.
May 11, 1842. When the accounts were closed last night,
the balance in hand for the Orphans was 16l. 18s. 10%d.,
though the actual amount for use at present is only
6l. 8s. 10%d., as 10l. 10s. is put by for the rent.—With this
6l. 8s. 10; d. therefore we had to begin again the work,
whilst there were 107 persons to be provided for with all
they required.
From May 11 to May 27, we were always so provided
for by the Lord, that we received fresh donations before
the last money was spent, for there came in 28l. 15s. 8%d.;
but now we should not have had sufficient for the need of
to-morrow, May 28th, when to-day there arrived a parcel
from Kendal, containing 6 frocks, 5 tippets, 6 pinafores,
6 chemises, 2 shirts, 3 aprons, and the following dona-
tions in money: with Ps. xxvii., 10s. ; Proverbs ii. 5, 6,
2s. 6d.; from a sister who earns her own bread by her
daily exertions, 10s.; from another individual 10s. There
came in also by sale of articles, given for that purpose, 21.1s.
May 28. There came in still further to-day 31.4s. 6d.,
so that we are richly provided with all we need, and have
more than enough.
June 3. For several days past I had not been parti-
cularly led to pray for means for the Orphans. Last
evening, however, I did so, as we had now again no money
in hand, there having come in only 10l. 2s. 2d. during the
last five days; and in answer to my request 21.19s. 6d.
came in this morning.
June 6. Monday. There was now no money at all in
hand. I had therefore asked the Lord for fresh supplies,
and since Saturday afternoon the following sums have
come in : By sale of articles 11. 4s., FROM AN AGED
464 [A.D. 1842.
SERVANT, ILL IN A MoRTAL DISEASE, 4l.; anonymously
put into the boxes at Bethesda yesterday, in a small
parcel, 11s., a gold ring, 3 small Spanish silver coins, and
a small American silver coin; ditto 4.d.; by a sister was
given 6d., and by another sister 5s.; anonymously put
into the box at Callow-hill Street Chapel 2s.
This morning I received from A. B. 50l., to be laid out
as it might be most useful. I took the whole of this sum
for the other objects, as the disposal of it was left to me,
whereby I am enabled to order a fresh supply of tracts,
some Bibles and Testaments, and to give something to
the brethren and sisters who labour in the Day Schools,
who are much in need of some supply. The stock of
Bibles, as far as I remember, has never been smaller than
it is now, for several years; there is likewise only a small
quantity of tracts left, and the demand for them is great
on the part of brethren who gratuitously circulate them.
How kind therefore of the Lord to give us this supply
If our work be his work, he is sure to provide the
means for it!
June 9. On the 7th came in 3s. for the Orphans,—
on the 8th 2l. 6s. 2d. To-day was sent anonymously
from Bath 5l., with the words “Jehovah Jireh.” These
words are very appropriate; for the money came after I
had asked the Lord for some, and is required for our need
to-morrow.
June 11. Saturday afternoon. As only 6s. 10d. had
come in since the 9th for the Orphans, there remains no
money in hand for Monday.—Saturday evening. The
Lord has already sent a little towards the need of next
week, as an earnest, that during the coming week also he
will be mindful of us; for this evening came in by sale of
articles 11. 8s. 7d., and a little boy gave 3s. 7#d.
June 12. There came in further to-day 7s.6d.; anony-
mously 10s.; ditto, 21.; and with Ecclesiastes. ix. 10, was
given 10s.
June 15. As since the 12th only 11, 13s.6d. had come
in, there was now again no money in hand for the need
of to-morrow. I gave myself therefore to prayer. Im-
mediately after I had risen from my knees, I was told that
some money had been put into the box at my house. I
opened the box, and found it to be a sovereign.
June 16. The sovereign which yesterday had been put
A.D. 1842.] 465
into the box at my house was not enough. On my morn-
ing walk I asked the Lord, therefore, for more means,
and when I came home I found that 17. 16s. had been sent
for articles given for sale. There came in still further by
sale of articles, ll, 1s. 6d., and by a donation from Leeds,
2l. 10s. 3d.
June 17. 11, 18s. 9d. came in to-day.
June 18. , Having had to meet the expenses of the
funeral of a dear Orphan boy, who, after having been two
years in fellowship with the saints, and walked con-
sistently, had fallen asleep, all means were now again
gone, when an Irish lady sent this morning 10!., of which
8l. is to be used for the Orphans, and 21. for my own
personal necessities. Thus we are again supplied for the
present.
June 25. As, besides the 81. which came in on the 18th,
only 91. 14s. 10%d. had been received since, there was now
not sufficient in hand for the expenses of the day; but
the Lord, as usual, made it manifest, that he is mindful of
our need, and that he hears our prayers. For there was
sent to-day from Clapham a parcel, containing a frock, a
pinafore, and 13s. 4d. Also, through the same donors, in
the same parcel, were sent from Brighton : 8 frocks, 6
pinafores, 6 handkerchiefs, 3 chemises, 2 petticoats, and
10s. Likewise, a christian lady sent a sovereign; and
ls. 6d. came in by sale of Reports, and 11. 18s. 0}d. by
sale of articles. Thus we were abundantly supplied for
the need of to-day.
July 1. All our money was again spent, as only
8l. 15s. 4d. had come in since the 25th, when last night
an Orphan arrived from Barnstaple, with whom there was
sent 21. 5s. 10d. The Lord has repeatedly ordered it so,
that when Orphans have been brought, money has been
sent with them, whereby our present necessities have
been supplied.—I add here, that we do not require any
money to be sent with them, nor is there any interest
required to get the children admitted, and much less is
the institution of a sectarian spirit, so that only persons
of certain religious views could succeed in making appli-
cation for the admission of Orphans; but without respect
of persons, from all parts of the kingdom, as long as there
is room, needy children, bereaved of both parents, may be
admitted.—I received to-day still further 10l. And like-
466 [A.D. 1842.
wise, by six other donations, came in 11.10s. 2d. We are
now again for a few days supplied.
July 6. On July 2nd came in 10s.; on the 3rd 27.2s. 9d.;
on the 4th 1.l.. 18s.; on the 5th came in four donations
from Hackney, amounting to 3!. 6s.; a donation of 21.
from Plymouth ; a donation of 4s. from a brother in
Bristol; by sale of Reports 5s. 3d.; anonymously was
sent from Fairford 31.; a christian lady gave 1b., and the
following articles were sent from Tottenham : a two-
guinea piece, a quarter-guinea piece, a half doubloon, (a
Portuguese gold coin), a gold coin of James I., and two
gold chains. Likewise this evening came in with Eccle-
siastes ix. 10, 31. 1s. 6d., and 3s.6d. by sale of stockings.
By the donations of yesterday and to-day I am enabled to
meet many needful expenses, such as ordering oatmeal
from Scotland, buying peas, rice, Scotch barley, materials
for boys' clothes, &c.
July 9. On July 7, 8, 9, had only come in 37.11s., so
that now to-day, Saturday, after I had supplied the ma-
trons with what they needed for to-day and to-morrow,
all the money was again spent ; yet we had been, by the
good hand of the Lord, brought through another week,
and nothing, that had been needed during the week, had
been lacking.
July 11. Monday. Yesterday and to-day came in
3l. 9s. 6d. This money was quite enough for the need of
to-day ; and when now again, after this day’s need had
been met, scarcely any thing was left, the boxes in the
Orphan-Houses were opened, which contained 21.3s. 4d.
July 12. 13s. 9d. came in to-day.
July 13. When our purse was now again empty, the
Lord kindly sent 5l. this morning from Glasgow.
From July 13th to 19th the Lord sent in 22l. 5s. 10d.,
and on July 19th I left Bristol for a season, being able,
through grace, to leave the work in his hands, and feeling
assured, that he would provide while I was absent from
Bristol; and truly the Lord did not suffer me to be dis-
appointed. For during the time of my absence, from
July 19th to Sept. 10th, whilst I was labouring at Barn-
staple, and in the neighbourhood of Bideford, the Lord
richly furnished us with means, though twice during that
period we were quite poor.
From July 19th to Aug. 10th had come in during my
A.D. 1842.] 467
absence, 511. 3s. 7#d.; but now, on Wednesday, Aug. 10th,
all the money, except ONE PENNY, was spent in the three
Orphan-Houses. Between 9 and 10 o’clock in the evening,
brother M. brought 71. to the Boys'-Orphan-House. 57.
of this he had received from Q. Q., 11. with Ecclesiastes
ix. 10, and 11. from a sister who had received this money
from Weymouth. When the latter told brother M. that
the money might be applied as most needed, he replied to
her, that he would give it to the Orphans, as he believed
them to be in need. When brother M. brought the
money, he said, that when in prayer in the morning for
the Orphans, who had been particularly laid on his heart,
he felt assured, that we were in need. Thus this brother,
not knowing any thing about our circumstances, was led by
God to help us with his intercessions.
The whole sum which came in from the 10th to the 26th
was 25l. 5s. 3d. On the 26th of August there was now
again need of a fresh manifestation of the loving care of
our Heavenly Father, as on the coming day, being a
Saturday, much was needed, and there were only a few
pence in hand. And truly, the Lord did appear on our
behalf; for this evening came in 10l. with Eccles. ix. 10.—
Behold, you who do not know the Lord, what a precious
thing it is, even for this life, to walk with God! Behold
also you, dear brethren, who tremble to lean fully and
solely upon him, that those who trust in him, according
to his word, shall not be confounded !
Erom Aug. 26th to Sept. 10th came in 221.6s. 8%d.
Besides the 981. 15s. 7d. which had come in, in money,
during my absence, many articles of clothes, books, pro-
visions, &c. were given for the benefit of the Orphans;
but especially a great quantity of trinkets was sent, to be
disposed of for the benefit of the Orphans. When I had
all these precious spoils before me, which the power of
the love of Jesus had won, I found there were no less in
my possession than : 31 brooches, 2 gold clasps, a pair of
gold bracelets, 33 gold rings, a silver-gilt vinaigrette, 16
pairs of gold earrings, 2 gold crosses, a gold chain, a gold
thimble, 8 gold seals, a gold watch key, a gold watch, 3
lockets, 2 watch hooks, 2 ornamental ladies’ combs, 3 or-
namental gold hair pins, 2 silver cups, above 30 neck-
laces, and many other ornaments; also above 60 old silver
coins. I cannot describe how great the joy is, which I
468 [A.D. 1842.
have, when I see the Lord Jesus, by means of this Insti-
tution, bringing forth one needless article after the other,
to be disposed of for the benefit of the Orphans.
From Sept. 10th to 28th the Lord supplied our need
richly. There came in altogether during these 18 days
921.19s. 4d. Though so large a sum had come in, in so
short a time, yet as our expenses also had been great,
there was again this day, Sept. 28th, not enough to meet
this day's need, when, A FEw MINUTEs before I was called
on for money, 21. 10s. was sent from Birmingham.
Sept. 29. There came in by knitting 2s. 6d., and by
two donations 7s.6d. with these words: “J. W. from the
Lord” 5s., and “From the Lord” 2s. 6d.
Sept. 30. There was again only 16s. 5%d. left, towards
the necessities of to-day, when yesterday afternoon a
donor left at my house a good silver watch, which, being
disposed of for 6l., supplies us not only for to-day, but
leaves something towards the need of to-morrow.
Oct. 1. Yesterday afternoon 1. came in from Ken-
sington, and this morning by sale of articles 2s. 6d., and
5s. was put into the box at my house. Thus we had,
with what was left, something towards the necessities of
this day, but not enough, as this is Saturday. As the
Lord, however, had given me both yesterday and this
morning prayer and faith with reference to the need, I
was looking out for help, when at half past ten this
morning a small parcel was anonymously left at my house,
which contained a 5l. note, a gold chain, and an old 5s.
piece, to be used for the Orphans. The Lord be praised
who disposed the heart of the unknown donor at so sea-
sonable an hour, to send this donation! Half an hour,
after I had received the little parcel, I was called upon
for money, and was thus able to supply the need of to-
day, and have something left towards the beginning of
the week.-There came in still further to-day 4l. 1s. ; for
this afternoon a sister in the Lord sent two half sovereigns,
which had been sent to her by two donors in Wales,
and which she would not delay sending at once, “as
it was Saturday.” In the evening about eight o’clock an
individual, residing in the parish of St. Philip, Bristol,
brought a sovereign for the Orphans, and after eight
o'clock 27. 1s. came in by the sale of articles: so that,
whilst the day commenced, without there being enough to
A.D. 1842.] 469
meet its expenses, we received several pounds more than
was needed. --
Oct. 8. As since Oct. 2 there had come in by sale of
the gold chain, the old 5s. piece, and donations, only the
sum of 12l. 16s. 6d., there was (after I had sent yester-
day morning the money which was requisite for the day),
again only 1s. 6%d. left, towards the need of to-day, being
Saturday. But the Lord, in whom I had particularly
again made my boast this morning before four German
musicians, was mindful of our need; for, besides half a
sovereign coming in from Hereford, the boxes in the Or-
han-Houses were opened, in which there was found
21. 3s. 6d. Thus we have already in the morning the
greater part of what is needed for to-day, waiting upon
the Lord for the rest.— Evening. This evening came in
still further 17. 5s. 2d., so that we have all that is needed
for to-day.
Oct. 10. Yesterday were put into the chapel boxes
three papers, one with Eccles. ix. 10, containing 11., and
two containing 1s. each. There came in also this morn-
ing by the knitting of the Orphan Boys 6s. 6d. Thus we
have, with a little that was left on Saturday, all that is
required for to-day, and 3s. 5d. over.
Oct. 11. The Lord has again kindly multiplied the
3s. 5d., which was left after the necessities of yesterday
were met. A brother in the Lord from Bath called yes-
terday at one of the Orphan-Houses and gave 5l. as a
donation, besides 8s. 8d. for Reports. Also by a clergy-
man near Cirencester was sent 5s., and this morning came
a post office order for 10s. from Crediton, and 6d. was
given by a sister in Bristol. My dear Reader, pause and
admire the hand of the Lord ' Day after day he helps us!
IHis help never fails, nor is it ever too late | We may be
poor, very poor; but when the help is really needed, the
Lord opens his bountiful hand and supplies our need
The help may come in a variety of ways, but it is certain
It may be that he allows us to wait long on him, and pray
very often, whilst he appears not to be mindful of us; yet
in the end, in his own appointed and best time, the help
comes. Dear Reader, if you know the Lord, and you
have not a similar experience, be it known to you, that
you may have the same in your sphere of labour or ser-
vice, though you may not be called by the Lord to establish
S S
470 [A.D. 1842.
Orphan-Houses, or Day Schools, or Adult Schools, or
Sunday Schools, or circulate Bibles and Tracts in an ex-
tensive way. Make but trial of this way, and you will
see how truly precious it is to wait upon the Lord for
every thing, even for the bread which perishes. Should
you, dear Reader, not be reconciled with God through
faith in the Lord Jesus, then may you know, that this
precious privilege belongs to him who becomes a child of
God by faith in the Lord Jesus, that he may come to his
Heavenly Father for everything, and that his Father
delights in giving him all he can need, while here in the
world. But some one might say: “What would you do,
if a meal-time came, and you were not able to provide the
children with food?” My answer is: as long as God
shall be pleased to give me grace to trust in him, this is
impossible: for “he that believeth on him shall not be
confounded.”
On Oct. 12th came in 2l. 7s., and Oct. 13th 6s.
Oct. 15. Saturday. Yesterday arrived from Glouces-
tershire the following letter:--
Oct. 13, 1842.
“My dear Brother,
As I have no doubt on my own mind, but the
Orphans are in present need, the enclosed 5l. is sent by
the constraining power of the Lord through me.
Yours affectionately,
# # # #.”
The money came indeed in a time of need; for though
we had about enough for yesterday’s necessities, there
was nothing for to-day’s demands, which are 5l. 5s.
There came in besides, yesterday afternoon, from a bro-
ther in Bristol 11, and from an individual in his employ-
ment 10s. Thus we could meet both yesterday’s and to-
day’s need, and are brought to the close of another week.
Evening. There came in still further this evening: by
sale of articles 21. 11s. 8d., from Ledbury 1s., and from
two sisters in Bristol 11s. Thus we have something to-
wards the need of another week.
Oct. 19. Wednesday. As only 11, 2s. had come in
since Saturday evening, there was now again not sufficient
money in hand for the need of to-day. I therefore
A.D. 1842.] 471
opened an Orphan box in my house, in which I found
two sovereigns. The Lord was pleased to send still fur-
ther, in the course of the day, from the neighbourhood of
Troitwich 8s. ; by profit from the sale of ladies' bags,
made by a sister for the benefit of the Orphans, 10s. ; by
a donation 21. 10s. ; by Reports 1s. 3d. ; and by another
donation, from two ladies, three-pence. These ladies,
sisters in the Lord, had it much in their hearts to give
considerable sums, and had given in former times gold
chains, a brilliant, and many other valuable articles for
the benefit of the Orphans, besides money; but now,
having no means, through particular family circumstances,
they were not ashamed to offer these three-pence. I
doubt not that I have their prayers, and I value them
more than gold; and I know, that if they had gold for the
Orphans, they would give that also. The child of God
ought to consider that word for his comfort : If there be
first a willing mind, it is accepted, according to that a
man hath, and not according to that he hath not. 2 Cor.
viii. 12.
On Oct. 21st came in 17. 9s. 8%d.
Oct. 24. Monday. The necessities of the 22nd, being
Saturday, called for all the money that was left, about 31.
Not one farthing was then remaining in my hands. And
now observe, dear Reader, how the Lord helped, and
praise him with me, that he always causes the stream to
flow again, when there is need. On the same day on
which the last money was given out, the day before yes-
terday, there was handed over to me 11, 2s. 9d for sale of
articles. Yesterday I received through a sister, from an
Indian gentleman and lady, two sovereigns, and one from
herself, being the produce of a piece of work, which she
had done for the benefit of the Orphans. A poor brother
also gave me 3s. To-day I received the following anony-
mous note:—
“Beloved Brother, Oct. 22, 1842.
The enclosed 35l. was given to the Lord some time
since. It was received for service done according to Eph.
vi. 7; and, believing that laying up treasures for myself
upon earth (having enough for my own necessities with-
out it) would be disobedience to Matthew vi. 19, I put it
S S 2
472 [A.D. 1842.
into your hands. You will kindly dispose of it as the
Lord may direct you.
Yours in the Lord Jesus.
You will oblige me by receiving 10l. of the enclosed
for your own need, or that of your family.”
This money came indeed most seasonably; for though,
by the donations of yesterday, to-day’s need had been
supplied, nevertheless as about 100 yards of flannel and
materials for the boys' clothes are needed, and as many
other expenses require to be met, besides the regular daily
expenses; we are thus in some measure provided. Half
of this money I took for the Orphans and half for the
other objects, as they also were in great need. There was
likewise yesterday put anonymously into the boxes at
Bethesda 1s. and 17. Still further came in, through the
boxes in the Orphan-Houses, 6s. 5%d., from a poor widow
2s. 6d., from another individual ll., in eight donations
through a brother 10s. 8d., and a box of worn clothes,
which are not to be named.
Oct. 29. The need of to-day is 5l. 5s. We should not
have had enough, humanly speaking, had there not been
sent yesterday afternoon 5l. from Hull, as on the 26th
and 28th only 31, 5s. 5d. had come in, so that there was
only 31. 0s. 6; d. in hand when this 5l. came. There came
in still further to-day 11.12s. 4d. How kindly does the
Lord, as it were, day by day inspect our stores! He, in
general, does not supply our need for many months at
once; in order both that he himself may often have the
joy of our calling upon him for the supplies we need, and
that he may give unto us the joy of obtaining our supplies
day by day in answer to prayer, and that thus also other
children of God might be encouraged, to wait upon him
for all they may need.
On Oct. 30 was given 11s.
Nov. 1. There would have been again nothing in hand,
for the need of this day, had not the Lord kindly sent
in yesterday afternoon three donations of 11., 21., and 2s.
Besides this there came in by sale of stockings 3s. 7d.
Nov. 2. After the demands of yesterday had been met,
there remained only 16s. 9%d. in hand. I therefore again
besought the Lord, that he would be pleased to send in
fresh supplies. Accordingly, about one o'clock, a brother
A.D. 1842.] 473
left a note at my house, containing a check for 7l., of
which 17, was for the Orphans, 11. for the other objects,
and 5l. for my own necessities. Between two and three
o'clock I met another brother in my walk in Redland
Fields, who gave me a sovereign for the Orphans; and at
four o’clock a sister sent a sovereign for the Orphans.
Thus our need for to-day is supplied and something left.
Nov. 7. Monday. Since the afternoon of the 2nd I
received 8l. 9s. 10d. After the necessities of Saturday,
the 5th, had been supplied, amounting to between 3!. and
4l., there was once more nothing at all left in my hands,
which led me afresh to the Lord in prayer. On the same
evening I received, as the answer to my prayers, from
a sister 10s., and by sale of articles 11. 16s. 10d., and
this morning there came in still further by several dona-
tions 21.15s. 7#d. .
Nov. 9. Again all our money was spent after the ex-
penses of to-day had been met, when this evening there
came in 4!. 1s. by sale of articles, 7s. 9d, by sale of
Reports, and 3d. as a donation. A parcel was also given
to me this evening, sent by two sisters in the Lord, in
Bath, containing the following articles: 5 gold rings, a
locket, a gold seal, 15 brooches, a pair of ear-rings, a gold
pin, a small telescope, an ornamental comb, 4 pairs of
clasps, 2 head brooches, some ornaments of mock pearls,
9 necklaces, 11 bracelets, 4 waist buckles, and a few other
articles.
Nov. 15. Yesterday came in from W. D. B. 11, 1s.,
from a sister 2s., and through an Orphan box 4s. This
ll. 7s. was all there was in hand, and without it we should
not have been able to provide for the need of to-day.
Nov. 16. After the need of yesterday had been pro-
vided for, and I now again had nothing in hand, I received
for Reports 1s., and from a believing clergyman 11.—
When, this morning, after I had been asking the Lord for
means, the post brought none, I fell again on my knees,
further beseeching him to supply me with fresh means, as
for several days little had come in. I especially also told
him, that, though the post was now out, yet he could in
various ways send help. It was ONLY A FEW MINUTES
AFTER, when brother C. B. brought me 11. 3s., which just
then had been given to him for the Orphans. About an
hour afterwards two brethren called on me, the one from
S S 3
474 [A.D. 1842.
Wiltshire, the other from Essex, who stayed with me some
time, and on leaving gave me 21. 10s. for the Orphans.
In the evening I saw still further that the Lord had not
only not disregarded my prayers in the morning, but also
that he was not confined to sending means by the post.
A sister called on me, and brought me, for several pur-
poses, twelve sovereigns, of which six are to be applied for
the benefit of the Orphans. This was not all. A brother
brought me 9 silver forks and a silver butter knife, the
produce of which I might use as most needed. This also,
therefore, might have been applied for the Orphans, but
I put it to the funds for the other objects as being more
in need. In the evening was still further given to me
with Eccles. ix. 10, 4.s., and as the profit from the sale of
ladies’ baskets, 11., so that a rich supply has been received
this day from the hand of our loving Father.
Nov. 20. When we were now again in very great
need on account of means for the other objects, there came
in this day from a sister in the Lord, a servant in Dor-
setshire, 101., which sum being left to my disposal, to use
in any way I thought best, I took it for the School—
Bible—Missionary and Tract-Fund.
Nov. 26. Saturday. Only 7l. 16s. 11%d. had come in
since the 16th for the Orphans. The day began without
any thing in hand. In the course of the morning came
in by sale of stockings 6s. 4d., and through the box at the
Boys'-Orphan-House 8d. At two o'clock in the after-
noon a believing clergyman sent to two of the labourers
in the work 2 sovereigns, of which the one was able to
give half the sovereign, and the other the whole sovereign.
º means we were supplied with what was needed
to-day.
Nov. 28. Monday. Yesterday came in from Chelten-
ham 5s. ; with Eccles. ix. 10, 5s; anonymously was left at
the Girls'-Orphan-House a paper, containing the letters
E. W. with a crown piece, and anonymously was put into
the boxes at Bethesda 1s. There was sent also from Bath,
a coral necklace and a gold necklace clasp. By these
donations we were supplied to-day.
Nov. 29. This morning I took a shilling out of an
Orphan-box at my house, which was all we had where-
with to commence the day. JUST AT THE MOMENT when
the letter bag was sent to me from the Orphan-Houses,
with the statement of what would be required for this
A.D. 1842.] 475
day, I received a post-office order from Barnstaple for 11.,
being the profit of the sale of some ruffs, which two
sisters in the Lord had knitted for the benefit of the
Orphans. Thus the Lord in his faithful love has sent a
little, for which I had been waiting upon him. Through
his grace my heart is looking out for more, for I am sure
he will never forsake us.
Nov. 30. Nothing at all has come in since yesterday.
But as one of the labourers was able to give 17s., we
were supplied with bread and a few other little things
which were needed.
Dec. 1. Nothing had come in, except 5s. for needle-
work of the Orphans. The labourers had nothing to give
of their own, except one of them 1s. 6d. ; yet this little
supplied the absolute need, which was only milk. We
were unable to take in the usual quantity of bread. (The
bread is eaten by the children on the third day after it is
baked. If we are unable to take in the usual daily quan-
tity of bread, for want of means, we afterwards seek to
procure stale bread.) Should it be said that the not
taking in the usual quantity of bread would at once prove
to the bakers that we are poor; my reply is, that that does
not follow, because bread has often been sent as a present,
as may be seen in the list of articles, given for the Or-
phans, at the end of the printed Reports. But perhaps
it may be stated: Why do you not take the bread on
credit P What does it matter, whether you pay imme-
diately for it, or at the end of the month, or the quarter,
or the half-year P Seeing that the Orphan-Houses are
the work of the Lord, may you not trust in him, that he
will supply you with means, to pay the bills which you
contract with the butcher, baker, grocer, &c., as the
things which you purchase are needful? My reply is
this: 1, If the work in which we are engaged is indeed
the work of God, then he, whose work it is, is surely able
and willing to provide the means for it. 2, But not only
so, he will also provide the means at the time when they
are needed. I do not mean that he will provide them,
when we think that they are needed; but yet, that when
there is real need, such as the necessaries of life being
required, he will give them; and on the same ground on
which we suppose we do trust in God to help us to pay
the debt which we now contract, we may and ought to
476 [A.D. 1842.
trust in the Lord to supply us with what we require at
present, so that there may be no need for going into debt.
3, It is true, I might have goods on credit, and to a very
considerable amount ; but, then, the result would be, that
the next time we were again in straits, the mind would
involuntarily be turned to further credit which I might
have, instead of being turned to the Lord, and thus faith,
which is kept up and strengthened only by being EXER-
CISED, would become weaker and weaker, till at last,
according to all human probability, I should find myself
deeply in debt and have no prospect of getting out of it.
4, Faith has to do with the word of God, rests upon the
written word of God; but there is no promise that he will
pay our debts, the word says rather: “Owe no man any
thing; ” whilst there is the promise given to his children:
“I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee,” and “Who-
soever believeth on him shall not be confounded.” On
this account we could not say upon the ground of the Holy
Scriptures : Why do you not trust in God that he will
supply you with means to pay your debts, which you con-
tract in his service for the necessaries of the Orphans ?
5, The last reason why we do not take goods on credit is
this : The chief and primary object of the work was not
the temporal welfare of the children, nor even their spiri-
tual welfare (blessed and glorious as it is, and much as,
through grace, we seek after it and pray for it); but the
first and primary object of the work was . To show before
the whole world and the whole church of Christ, that even
in these last evil days the living God is ready to prove him-
self as the living God, by being ever willing to help, suc-
cour, comfort, and answer the prayers of those who trust in
him : so that we need not go away from him to our
fellow-men, or to the ways of the world, seeing that he
is both able and willing to supply us with all we can need
in his service. From the beginning, when God put this
service into my heart, I had anticipated trials and straits;
but knowing, as I did, the heart of God, through the
experience of several years previously, I also knew that
he would listen to the prayers of his child who trusts in
him, and that he would not leave him in the hour of need,
but listen to his prayers, and deliver him out of the
difficulty, and that then, this being made known in print
for the benefit of both believers and unbelievers, others
A.D. 1842.] 477
would be led to trust in the Lord. Thus it has now been
for more than nine years (i. e. in 1845, when the third
part was first published). These accounts have been
greatly owned by the Lord. We discern therefore more
and more clearly, that it is for the church's benefit, that
we are put into these straits, and if therefore in the hour
of need we were to take goods on credit, the first and
primary object of the work would be completely frustra-
ted, and no heart would be further strengthened to trust
in God; nor would there be any longer that manifestation
of the special and particular providence of God, which
has hitherto been so abundantly shown through this work,
even in the eyes of unbelievers, whereby they have been
led to see, that there is after all reality in the things of
God, and many, through these printed accounts, have been
truly converted. For these reasons, then, we consider
it our precious privilege, as heretofore, to continue to wait
upon the Lord only, instead of taking goods on credit, or
borrowing money from some kind friends, when we are in
need. Nay, we purpose, as God shall give us grace, to
look to him only, though morning after morning we should
have nothing in hand for the work; yea, though from
meal to meal we should have to look to him ; being fully
assured, that he, who is now (1845) in the tenth year
feeding these many Orphans, and who has never suffered
them to want, and that he, who is now (1845) in the
twelfth year carrying on the other parts of the work,
without any branch of it having had to be stopped for
want of means, will do so for the future also. And here
I do desire, in the deep consciousness of my natural help-
lessness and dependance upon the Lord, to confess, that
through the grace of God my soul has been in peace,
though day after day we have had to wait for our daily
provisions upon the Lord; yea, though even from meal to
meal we have been required to do this.-I now go on with
extracts from my journal.
Dec. 2, 1842. By the produce of six old silver coins,
which I received last evening, and by 9s. 6d. which came
in besides, we were able to meet the expenses of to-day;
but now there were before us the heavy expenses of to-
morrow, Saturday, which I knew would be particularly
great, and there was nothing at all in hand to meet them.
In this our need there came in this evening from Lutter-
478 [A.D. 1842.
worth and its neighbourhood two donations, one of 5l.,
and the other of 11. The 11. was for the Orphans, and
the 5l. was left to my disposal, as it might be most needed.
I took of it 31. 12s. 8d. for the Orphans, and 11.7s. 9d.
for the Day Schools. This afternoon a gentleman passed
the Girls'-Orphan-House. The house door being opened,
he rolled half a crown into the house. This half crown
came in when there was nothing at all in hand. There
came in also by knitting of the Infants 6d., by knitting
of the Boys 6d., from a poor believing widow 6d., and by
sale of a Report 3d. Thus we have 4!. 15s. for the
necessities of the Orphans to-morrow (the other little
sums have been spent to-day.)
Dec. 5. Monday. On Saturday, Dec. 3, 10s. came in
from Brighton, and yesterday 11, with Eccles. ix. 10,
and by a sister from Nailsworth 10s. Also by sale of
articles 11s. 6d. Thus we had 21. 11s. 6d., which was
nearly but not quite enough for the necessities of to-day,
as it would be desirable to have a few shillings more. I
went, therefore, to see whether there was any money in
the two boxes at my house, and I found a sovereign.
Thus we had more than sufficient for the need of to-day,
which is 31. This evening I received 11. 10s. for articles
which had been sold.
Dec. 8. A few little donations which came in on the
6th, together with the little there was in hand, supplied
our need on the 7th. On the 6th a shilling was anony-
mously left on the mantel piece in the Infant-Orphan-
House: and one of the Orphans, formerly under our care,
but now in service, gave 2s. 6d. These two small dona-
tions were most seasonable towards the supply of our
need on the 7th. Now this day commenced without our
having any thing in hand. . Just while the Orphan-Boy,
who had been sent to my house for money, was waiting,
I received from the neighbourhood of Droitwich 10s.
This, with 3s. 9d. for Reports, and 6d. for knitting of
the Infant-Orphans, and 4s. 6d. which one of the labour-
ers was able to give of his own, helped us through this day.
Dec. 9. There was again nothing at all in hand this
morning, to meet the expenses of the day. A little after
ten o’clock an Orphan arrived from Northam, with whom
there was sent for my own personal necessities 10s., and
2l. 2s. 4d. besides. As about this latter sum nothing had
A.D. 1842.] 479
been written, I put it to the Orphan-Fund, whereby we
are supplied for to-day, and have a little left towards the
Ineed of to-morrow. There was also 6d. in the boxes at
my house.
Dec. 10. 11. was left, after the need of yesterday had
been met. This morning, Saturday, when I knew that
again several pounds would be needed, and I had there-
fore been waiting on the Lord, I received about nine
o'clock 11. from a brother, who, on his return from Spain
to Devonshire, had been intrusted with it for the Orphans,
by a sister in the Lord who lives in London. A few
minutes after I had received this sovereign, I had to pay
on behalf of one of the apprentices 21., which took exactly
all the money I had, so that there was still nothing to
meet the ordinary housekeeping expenses of this day,
which I knew would be at least 31. I gave myself there-
fore still further to prayer, being fully assured, by grace,
that my loving faithful Father would this day also provide
me his child with every thing I needed. Scarcely was I
risen from my knees, when I received a bank post bill
from Torquay for 10l., of which 2l. is intended by the
kind donor for my own temporal necessities, and 8l. for
the Orphans, so that we have more than enough for this
day.—There came in still further this evening, in five
small donations, 6s. 10d., by needlework 6s., and by sale
of articles 11.6s. 6d.
Dec. 11. Anonymously put into the box at Bethesda,
2s. 6d., and from C. M. W. 11.
Dec. 14. There was now again only on E PENNY in my
hands this morning. About eleven o’clock I received a
note enclosing 2s. and 10s. The brother who kindly
brought the note which contained the money, gave at the
same time 2s. 6d. for the Orphans. As only 16s. was
needed to purchase the necessary provisions for this day,
and one of the labourers was able to add 1s. 5d. of his
own, we were supplied.
Dec. 15. Only 2s. 8d., the contents of an Orphan-box,
17. by sale of stockings, and 2s. 1; d. from the boxes in
the Orphan-Houses, have come in. This, with 5s. which
one of the labourers was able to give, supplied the need
of to-day.
Dec. 16. Nothing has come in. 3s. 5d., which one of
the labourers was able to give, was all we had. At six
480 [A.D. 1842.
o'clock this evening, our need being now very great, not
only with reference to the Orphan-Houses, but also the
Day Schools, &c., I gave myself with two of the labourers
to prayer. There needed some money to come in before
eight o’clock to-morrow morning, as there was none to
take in milk for breakfast (the children have oatmeal por-
ridge with milk for breakfast), to say nothing about the
many other demands of to-morrow, being Saturday. Our
hearts were at peace, while asking the Lord, and assured
that our Father would supply our need. WE HAD
scARCELY RISEN FROM our KNEEs, when I received a
letter, containing a sovereign for the Orphans, half of
which was from a young East India officer, and the other
half the produce of the sale of a piece of work, which the
sister, who sent the money, had made for the benefit of
the Orphans. She wrote: “I love to send these little
gifts. They so often come in season.” Truly, thus it
was at this time.—About five minutes later I received
from a brother the promise of 50l. for the Orphans, to be
given during the next week; and a quarter of an hour
after that, about seven o’clock, a brother gave me a sove-
reign, which an Irish sister in the Lord had left this day,
on her departure for Dublin, for the benefit of the Or-
phans. How sweet and precious to see thus so manifestly
the willingness of the Lord to answer the prayers of his
needy children -
Dec. 17. This morning we three again waited unitedly
upon the Lord, as there was not enough for the necessities
of the Orphan-Houses for this day. Moreover, the
teachers in the Day Schools need supplies. Between ten
and eleven o’clock I received by the first delivery a letter,
containing half a sovereign, with these words: “The
young lions do lack and suffer hunger; but they that seek
the Lord shall not want any good thing. Dec. 16, 1842.”
It was not stated whether this money was for my own
personal need, or for the Orphans, or any other object. I
took it for the Orphans.—Thus we had enough, except
about 2s. 6d., to provide all that was needed for to-day
and to-morrow. Between seven and eight o'clock this
evening a brother sent half a crown to the Boys'-Orphan-
FIouse, stating that he had been thinking much about the
Orphans in the course of this day, but that he had not
had time to send this money sooner. Thus, by the kind-
A.D. 1842.] 481
*
ness of the Lord, we have the exact sum which is required,
and are again brought to the close of another week.-
Between nine and ten o’clock this evening came in still
further, by the sale of articles, 21.7s. Thus the Lord has
not only helped us to the close of the week, but given us
also a little with which to begin another week.
Dec. 19. Yesterday came in by the profit of the sale
of ladies' bags 17., and in two donations 27. By this
5l. 7s., which came in since Saturday evening, we should
have had enough for the ordinary household expenses of
to-day; but as our stores of oatmeal, rice, peas, and Scotch
barley, are either entirely or nearly exhausted, and as
some calico for shirts and lining, besides many other little
articles are needed, and as especially the teachers in the
Day Schools are greatly in need of pecuniary supplies, I
had been especially entreating the Lord, that he would
be pleased to send us larger supplies. I rose from my
knees about half past ten this morning, and about a
quarter to eleven I received a letter from A. B. with an
order for 100l., to be used as most needed in the work.
Of this sum I took for the Orphans only 25l., and for the
other funds 75l. (in consideration of 50l. having been
promised to be paid this week for the Orphans); and
thus we are in every way again most seasonably helped.
“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his be-
nefits”—There came in still further by three donations
31. 10s.
Our need with reference to the School-Fund had been
great during the last three weeks, though we had received
as much as the teachers absolutely required. Now, how-
ever, it was very great, as one brother especially needed
to have several pounds within a day or two, and three
other teachers also required supplies. It had in addition
to this been much in my heart to send some money to
several brethren who labour in foreign lands, in dependance
upon the Lord only for their pecuniary supplies; but I had
been kept from doing so, for want of means. On these
accounts, therefore, I gave myself again especially to
's prayer this morning, when, within a quarter of an hour
after I had risen from my knees, I received the order for
100l., which I was at liberty to use as need required.
Thus all the teachers could be fully supplied with what
T T
482 [A.D. 1842.
they needed, and some help could be sent to two brethren,
who labour in foreign lands.
I think it well to state here again, what has been noticed
before, that though the brethren and sisters who labour
in the Day Schools have a certain regular remuneration,
when there are means in hand, yet that I am not their
debtor when there are no means; so that they have to
look to the Lord their master for supplies, and not to me.
Indeed, in our circumstances, a brother or a sister, en-
gaged in this work, could have but little enjoyment in
their position, except they individually sought to lean
upon the Lord.
On Dec. 20 and 21 there came in 27.15s. 8d. for the
Orphans.
Tec. 22. Though there had come in above 36!. for the
Orphans, during the last four days, yet as our stores
needed to be replenished, and there had been several other
expenses to be met, we were again to-day in need of further
supplies, when I received the 50l. for the Orphans, which
had been promised during the last week. Thus I was able
also to supply the labourers in the Orphan-Houses with
some money for their own personal need.
REVIEW OF THE YEAR 1842.
I. As to the church.
68 brethren and sisters brother Craik and I found in
communion, when we came to Bristol.
848 have been admitted into communion since we came
— to Bristol.
916 would be, therefore, the total number of those in fel-
lowship with us, had there been no changes. But,
131 have left Bristol.
59 have left us, but are still in Bristol.
51 are under church discipline.
74 have fallen asleep !
315 are therefore to be deducted from 916, so that
there are only 601 at present in communion.
73 have been added during the past year, of whom 27
have been brought to the knowledge of the Lord among
us, and 18 besides, though they knew the Lord, had never
A.D. 1843.] 483
been in fellowship any where; 28 had been at some time
or other before in fellowship, but most of them with saints
out of Bristol.
7 brethren and sisters have fallen asleep during the
past year.
Of the 68 brethren and sisters whom brother Craik and
I found in fellowship, 18 have fallen asleep, 12 have left us,
but are still in Bristol, 3 have left Bristol, and 2 have been
separated: so that only 33 of that number are remaining
in fellowship with us.
II. As to the supply of my temporal necessities:
l, The Lord has been pleased to send me
from the saints among whom I labour
in Bristol, in provisions, clothes, etc.,
worth to us at least . . . . . . £ 10 0 0
2, In anonymous offerings in money, put up
in paper, and directed to me, and put
into the boxes for the poor saints or the
rent, at the meeting places . 113 1. 8
3, In presents in money, from Saints in -
Bristol, not given anonymously . . . 47 8 1
4, In provisions and clothes, from Saints not
residing in Bristol, worth to us at least. 10 0 0
5, In money, from saints not residing in
Bristol . . . . . . . . . . . 149 6 3
3329 16 0
Jan. 21, 1843. From Dec. 22 up to this day the Lord
was pleased to send in the donations for the Orphans so,
that there was always some money received, before all
was expended.—The 50l. which was given to me on Dec.
22, and between 50l. and 60l. which had come in since,
was now to-day, Jan. 21, 1843, all spent, after the expenses
of to-day, Saturday, had been met, when there was given
to me this evening a silver cup, a gold seal, a broken
gold seal, a gold buckle, a watch hook, and a brooch.
There came in also by sale of articles 2s. 6d., and by
a donation 10s.
Jan. 23, 1843. Yesterday came in 9s., and to-day 21.13s.
Jan. 24. To-day came in 5l. 7s. 7d.
Jan. 25. This day I received 31. 3s. 23d.
T T 2
484 [A.D. 1843.
Jan. 28. The last money had been again paid out
yesterday morning, when I received 5l. last evening with
Eccles. ix. 10. This morning was sent to me from Clap-
ham, 21. 8s. Thus we were able to meet the expenses of
to-day, which were 4!. 5s.
Feb. 3. Since Jan. 28 there had come in 131. 5s. 1d.,
which had fully supplied all our need; but now all was
again spent, after this day’s expenses had been met, on
account of which I gave myself to prayer with my wife
this morning. This evening I received in answer to it 7s.
by sale of articles.
Feb. 4. This morning a brother gave to me 11. Thus
we have 11.7s. ; but as this is not nearly enough for to:
day, we have given ourselves still further to prayer, and
are now looking for supplies. While I am writing this,
the Orphan has brought the letter bag, to fetch 2l. 15s.,
which is the need of to-day; I am therefore looking out
for help, to make up this sum.—I opened the boxes in
my house, in which I found 3s.6d. With this 11.10s. 6d.
I had to send off the boy, waiting for further supplies.—
This afternoon, about five, came in by sale of articles
11.4s. 7d. Thus we had enough, and one penny more
than was needed, and we are brought to the close of
another week. O Lord, how can thy servant sufficiently
praise thee for condescending so to listen to his requests |
His soul is amazed at thy condescension, and yet not
amazed, when he considers that thou doest it for the sake
of thy dear Son, in whom thou dost continually look upon
thy servant.—There came in still further this evening 2s.6d.
Feb. 6. Yesterday was intrusted to me altogether for
the Orphans 21. 17s. 6d., in eight different donations.
Thus I was able to send the supplies which were needed
this day in the Orphan-Houses, which required all that
had come in yesterday. When now there was again
nothing at all in hand, I received about one o'clock 10l.,
with the following lines: “From the widow to the Or-
phans, a thank-offering to Him that careth for them both.”
Through the same donor Ireceived at the same time from
a lady and gentleman. 27. In the evening came in further
10s., by the profits of the sale of ladies' bags, and 2s. 6d.
as a donation.
Feb. 10. As during the last three days only 11.6s.
had come in, all our money was now again expended, and
A.D. 1843.] 485
nothing in hand towards the supplies of to-morrow, Satur-
day, when I received this afternoon 10s., being the profit
of the sale of ladies' bags. This evening came in still
further with Eccles. ix. 10, 11., by sale of articles 2s., and
from a brother 2s.
Feb. 11. By what came in yesterday afternoon and
evening, we had 11.14s. towards the expenses of this day.
But as this was not enough, I asked the Lord still further
for help, and, behold, this morning's post brought me a
..post-office-order for 2. from Stafford, of which 17.7s.6d.
is for the Orphans. Thus we have 31. 1s. 6d., which is
quite enough for this day.
Admire with me, my dear Reader, if you know the Lord,
his seasonable help. Why does this post-office-order not
come a few days sooner or later P Because the Lord would
help us by means of it, and therefore influences the donor
just then, and not sooner nor later, to send it. Surely,
all who know the Lord, and who have no interest in
disowning it, cannot but see his hand in a remarkable
manner in this work.-Nor will the godly and simple
minded reader say —“There is no difference between this
way of proceeding, on the one hand, and going from indi-
vidual to individual, asking them for means, on the other
hand; for the writing of the Reports is just the same
thing.” My dear Reader, there is a great difference.
Suppose, that we are in need. Suppose, that our poverty
lasts for some weeks or even some months together. Is
there not, in that case, a difference between asking the
Lord only from day to day, without speaking to any
human being not connected directly with the work about
our poverty, on the one hand; and writing letters or
making personal application to benevolent individuals for
assistance, on the other hand P Truly, there is a great
difference between these two modes. I do not mean to
say that it would be acting against the precepts of the
Lord to seek for help in his work by personal and indi-
vidual application to believers, (though it would be in
direct opposition to his will to apply to unbelievers, 2 Cor.
vi. 14–18); but I act in the way in which I do for the
benefit of the Church at large, cheerfully bearing the
trials, and sometimes the deep trials connected with this
life of faith (which however brings along with it also its
precious joys), if by any means a part at least of my
T T 3
486 - [A.D. 1843.
fellow believers might be led to see the reality of dealing
with God only, and that there is such a thing as the child
of God having power with God by prayer and faith.
That the Lord should use for so glorious a service one so
vile, so unfaithful, so altogether unworthy of the least
notice as I am, I can only ascribe to the riches of his con-
descending grace, in which he takes up the most unlikely
instruments, that the honour may be manifestly his. I add
only one word more: Should Satan seek to whisper into
your ears: Perhaps the matter is made known after all,
when there is need (as it has been once said about me at
a public meeting in a large town, that when we were in
want I prayed publicly that the Lord would send help for
the Orphans, which is entirely false); I say, should it be
said, that I took care that our wants were made known,
I reply: Whom did I ask for any thing these many years
since the work has been going on P. To whom did I make
known our wants, except to those who are closely con-
nected with the work P−Nay, so far from wishing to
make known our need, for the purpose of influencing
benevolent persons to contribute to the necessities of the
Institution under my care, I have even refused to let our
circumstances be known, after having been asked about
them, when on simply saying that we were in need, I
might have had considerable sums. Some instances of
this have been given in the former part of this Narrative.
In such cases I refused, in order that the hand of God
only might be manifest; for that, and not the money, nor
even the ability of continuing to carry on the work, is my
especial aim. And such self-possession has the Lord
given me, that at the times of the deepest poverty, (whilst
there was nothing at all in hand, and whilst we had even
from meal to meal to wait upon the Lord for the necessi-
ties of more than 100 persons), when a donation of 5l. or
10l. or more has been given to me, the donors could not
have read in my countenance whether we had much or
nothing at all in hand. But enough of this. I have
made these few remarks, beloved Reader, lest by any
means you should lose the blessing which might come to
your soul through reading the account of the Lord’s faith-
fulness and readiness to hear the prayers of his children.
Feb. 13. Monday. After having paid out on Saturday
all there was in hand, though having quite enough for that

A.D. 1843.] 487
day, we had now again to look to the Lord for means, as
We generally need several pounds on Mondays. At this
time also our faithful Lord did not disappoint us. For
there came in late on Saturday, by the sale of articles
given for sale, ll. 8s. 11d., and by sale of stockings, knitted
by the boys, 5s. I received also since then by the profit
of the sale of ladies'-bags 10s., by the boxes in my house
ls. 9d., and by two donations, 6s. There was also yester-
day put into the chapel boxes half-a-crown with these
words: “Trust in the Lord, and wait patiently for him.”
Thus we had 21. 14s. 2d., which was enough for the
need of this day.
Feb. 14. . I had received nothing since yesterday morn-
ing. Nothing therefore was in hand when money was
sent for, except 1s. 6d., which was sent up from the Or-
phan-Houses, by the messenger who came for this day's
supplies, and which had been received yesterday at the
Infant-Orphan-House. I opened the boxes at my house,
in which I found 1s. WHILE THE Boy was wAITING For
THE MONEY, the sister, who sells the articles which are
given to be sold for the benefit of the Orphans, and who
knows nothing about our present need, came and brought
12s. for some things which she had sold. With this
14s. 6d. we are able to supply the need of to-day, as
nothing but some bread and milk require to be purchased.
Feb. 15. 21. 14s. came in from the neighbourhood of
Rotherham, besidesls. 9d. Thus we had enough for this day.
Peb. 16. Yesterday afternoon I received 9s. from two
poor sisters at Portsmouth. This, with 9d., which was
left of the money which I received yesterday, after the
day’s need had been met, was all I had at the commence-
ment of this day.—In the course of the morning was sent
by a lady of Ashton, 10s. more. Thus we had 19s. 9d.,
which sufficed for this day.
Feb. 17. Only 2s. 6d. has come in as a donation, and
2s. 4d. by knitting. This 4s. 10d. was all I could send,
hoping in the Lord for more. The information I had
from the Boys'-Orphan-House was, that the 4s. 10d.
supplied the matrons with all that was absolutely needful
for to-day. This evening at nine o’clock I received from
sister E. Ch. 8s. 9d. for Reports. This is a most precious
help, as without it there would be no means to take in the
milk to-morrow morning.
488 [A.D. 1843.
Feb. 18. This morning between seven and eight o'clock
I took the money which came in last night to the Orphan-
Houses, so that we were supplied for the breakfast. We
had now to look to the Tord for several pounds, to meet
the demands of this day, being Saturday. Between 10
and 11 o’clock I again with my wife besought the Lord,
entreating him, that he would be pleased to help us,
when a FEW MINUTEs AFTER, in this our great need, I
received by the first delivery a letter from Barnstaple,
containing 5l. for the Orphans. How truly precious, to
see thus so manifestly the hand of God day by day
stretched out on our behalf
Feb. 20. Monday. Most seasonable as the help had
been, which the Lord so kindly had sent on Saturday
morning, and fully as it had supplied our need for that
day; yet there was nothing left, after all the expenses
had been met, so that we had even on Saturday still
further to wait upon the Lord for fresh supplies for this
day. Now at this time likewise the Lord has appeared on
our behalf. About nine o'clock on Saturday evening
arrived by post a small parcel from Yorkshire, which con-
tained 6 pitcher purses, 2 night caps, a watchguard, and
6l. 1s. 4d. Of this money 5l. is to be applied for Mis-
sionary purposes, 1s. 4d. for the Orphans, and 11. as it
may be needed. This 11. I took therefore for the Orphans.
—Yesterday morning I received as a widow’s mite 17.
for the Orphans; and into the chapel boxes was put 10s.
with Eccles. ix. 10, and also half-a-crown anonymously.
Thus the Lord has been pleased to send us altogether
21, 13s., whereby we are able to meet this day's expenses.
Feb. 21. We were comfortably helped through yester-
day, but having provided for all the demands, there was
again nothing left in my hands for to-day. How kind
therefore of the Lord to incline the heart of the same
brother, who had given me 50l. a few weeks since, to
intrust me with 1.l. 2s. 6d. more last night, about nine
o'clock | By this donation our need for to-day is supplied.
Feb. 22. Only 3s. 9d. came in yesterday by sale of
Reports. When this morning the letter bag was sent from
the Orphan-Houses for supplies, I found a note in it,
containing this: “ Tor to-day there is no need of men-
tioning any sum, as we can make that do, which the Lord
may please to send.” The 3s. 9d, was all I had to send,
A.D. 1843.] 489
waiting upon the Lord for more.—There came in further
in the course of the morning by sale of stockings 3s., and
by sale of other articles, given for that purpose, 2s. 6d.
Qur need also led us to open the boxes in the Orphan-
Houses, in which we found 11s. 6d. Thus we had alto-
gether ll. Os. 9d., whereby we were helped through
this day.
Feb. 23. Last evening I received from Bath a small
parcel, containing a small telescope, a set of mother-o’pearl
counters, 7 silver buckles, and a broken silver brooch.
This morning the bag was brought for money, but I had
inothing in hand. WHILST THE BOY WHO BROUGHT THE
LETTER BAG was WAITING, to receive the answer, the
sister who disposes of the articles which are given for
sale, (and who was no more acquainted with the state of
our funds than any other person), brought 11s. 4d. With
this we began the day, again trusting in the Lord for
further help.
Feb. 24. Nothing more came in, in the course of yes-
terday morning; but a little after four o’clock I received
a letter from Jersey, containing a post-office-order for 11.
for the Orphans. The donor writes thus: “Herewith
you will find a post-office-order for ll, being this year's
subscription. I had a desire to defer it to the 1st of
June; but owing to my mind having been deeply worked
on the present day, that this was the acceptable time, I
make no scruple of availing myself of this evening’s post,
which I hope will be acceptable.” Jersey, 20 Feb. 1843.−
How manifest is the hand of the Lord in this matter!
He stirs up this donor, who lives at such a distance, to
remember our need, whose money indeed came in a most
acceptable time.—Thus we were again helped for yester-
day. A few minutes, after having received the Il. from
Jersey, a brother near Bruton sent me 15s. The money,
given by this donor, being always left entirely to my
disposal, I took this 15s. towards the need of the Orphans
for to-day. This morning’s post brought me half-a-
sovereign from London. The letter contained only these
words: “London, Feb. 22, 1843. Psalm xxvii. 14.” I
put this half-sovereign to the Orphan-Fund. There came
in also by knitting 1s. 4d., and through the boxes in my
house 6%d. Thus we had for the need of this day again,
by the good hand of our Lord upon us, ll. 6s. 10#d.
490 [A.D. 1848.
Feb. 25. Saturday. Yesterday afternoon and evening
12s. 8d, came in by knitting, and 1s. 9d. besides. This
was all we had wherewith to begin the day. There came
in still further in the course of to-day: by the boxes in
the Orphan-Houses 5d., by knitting 7s. 8d., by a donation
1s., by sale of Reports 4s., by sale of an article, given for
that purpose, 10s., and one of the labourers gave 6s. Thus
the Lord gave us again 21. 3s.6d. for to-day's need, and
we are helped to the close of another week-As a fresh
proof, that our loving Father is still mindful of us, we
received this evening a parcel and a box from Plymouth :
the former contained a musical box and a piece of worsted
work, the latter 10 china ornaments: all to be sold for the
benefit of the Orphans.
Feb. 27. Monday. Nothing at all had come in since
Saturday. When therefore this day began, we had no
means to provide what was needed. My comfort, how-
ever, was, that our Father knew that we were needy, and
that kept me at this time also in peace. Between 10 and
11 o’clock this morning Ireceived 11.10s. from Guernsey.
The brother, who sent the money, writes, that he had
delayed in sending it, and hoped that “this was the
Lord’s time,” which indeed it is, for we are thus supplied
for this day.
Reb. 28. Yesterday afternoon 3s., were put into the
box in my room, which our need brought out, as again this
day began without our having any thing in hand. I
received still further to-day from a brother at Crediton
21., being the produce of an Orphan-box in his house.—
This evening I was at a Scripture-Reading-Meeting, at a
brother's house. On leaving I found half-a-crown in one
of my gloves, evidently put there on purpose, which I put
to the Orphan-Fund, and it was immediately taken to the
Orphan-Houses. Thus we were helped through this day
also, but have nothing in hand towards to-morrow. There
came in also for knitting 2s. 11d. Thus we had 21. 8s. 5d.
for this day.
March 1. There came in this morning by sale of some
articles 11. 5s. About dinner time a clergyman, who had
had one of my Narratives lent to him by one of the
labourers in the Orphan-Houses, returned it with 1.l.. 10s.
for the Orphans, from himself and his two sisters. Thus
we were again provided with all we needed for to-day.—
A.D. 1843.] 491
This evening the Lord helped still further. I received
with Eccles. ix. 10, 31. From sister M. B. came in 17.,
by knitting of the Infant-Orphans 3s. 6d., and by two
donations 6s.
March 2. This day the Lord has again looked upon us
in his faithful love, and sent us help, whereby I am ena-
bled to replenish our stores with rice, peas, and Scotch
barley, and am also able to put by the rent. There was
found in the boxes in the Orphan-Houses 27. 3s. 7d., which
had been put in by some visitors, who saw the Orphan-
Houses yesterday afternoon. There were also given to
me 63 old silver coins, the greater part of them old Eng-
lish coins, the others old Spanish and French coins, also
one crown piece current. There came in also by sale of
articles and donations, besides the money for the silver
coins, 16s. 10d. Thus the Lord has dealt bountifully
with us these two days, after many days of poverty.
March 6. Monday. The last money had been given
out last Saturday, and only 6d. had come in yesterday,
whilst our need for to-day, I knew, would be about 21.
About a quarter of an hour before I was called on for
money, I received from a brother at Plymouth a post-
office-order for 21. 11s. 6d., and by the same post, anony-
mously, a French cambric handkerchief and half-a-crown.
Thus our present need was again more than met.
March 7. There came in to-day 2l. 13s. 10d.
March 8. To-day we required 31. 10s. to supply com-
fortably all that was needed in the Orphan-Houses, but
only 27. 1s. 10d. was in hand. How kind therefore of the
Lord to send me a large donation, whereby we were richly
supplied The particulars of it are these :—On Oct. 25,
1842, I had a long conversation with a sister in the Lord,
who opened her heart to me. On leaving me I told her,
(because I thought it might prove a comfort to her at
some future time,) that my house and my purse were hers,
and that I should be glad if she would have one purse
with me. This I said, I repeat, because I judged that at
some future time it might prove a comfort to her in an
hour of trial, having at the same time, (to judge from a
circumstance which had occurred two days before,) every
reason to believe, that she had not 5l. of her own. This
sister, after I had said so, readily took me at my word,
and said I shall be glad of it, adding presently that she
492 [A.D. 1843.
had 500l. The moment I heard that, I drew back, and
said, that had I known that she had any money, I should
not have made her this offer, and then gave her my reason
why I had supposed she had no property at all. She then
assured me that she possessed 500l., and that she had
never seen it right, to give up this money, else she would
have done so; but that as God had put this sum into her
hands, without her seeking, she thought that it was a
provision which the Lord had made for her. I replied
scarcely any thing to this; but she asked me to pray for
her with reference to this matter. This whole conversa-
tion about the money occupied but very few minutes, and
it all took place after the sister had risen and was on the
point of leaving me.—After she was gone, I asked the
Lord if he would be pleased to make this dear sister so
happy in himself, and enable her so to realize her true
riches and inheritance in the Lord Jesus, and the reality
of her heavenly calling, that she might be constrained by
the love of Christ cheerfully to lay down this 500l. at
his feet. From that time I repeated this my request
before the Lord daily, and often two, three, or four times
a day; but not a single word or line passed between me and
this sister on the subject, nor did I even see her ; for I
judged that it would be far better that she retained this
money, than that by persuasion she should give it up, and
afterwards perhaps regret the step she had taken, and
thereby more dishonour than honour be brought on the
name of the Lord. After I had thus for 24 days daily
besought the Lord on behalf of this sister, I found her
One day, on returning home, at my house, when she told
me, that she wished to see me alone. She then said to
me, that from the time she had last conversed with me,
she had sought to ascertain the Lord’s will with reference
to the 500l., and had examined the Scriptures, and prayed
about it, and that she was now assured that it was the
will of the Lord, she should give up this money. After
she had told me this, I exhorted her, well to count the
cost, and to do nothing rashly, lest she should regret the
step she had taken, and to wait at least a fortnight longer
before she carried out her intention. Thus we separated.
On the 18th day after this conversation I received the
following letter. *
A.D. 1843.] 493
“Dear Brother, -
“I believe the Lord has not permitted you to
grow weary of remembering me, but that he has still en-
abled you to bear me upon your heart in his presence.
All is well with me, dear brother. Your petitions have
been heard and answered; I am happy and at peace. The
Lord has indeed manifested his tender care of and his
great love towards me in Jesus, in inclining my heart
cheerfully to lay all I have hitherto called my own, at his
feet. It is a high privilege.
I write in haste to ask you (as we have now one purse)
to receive the money at a bank in Bristol; I will direct it to
be sent in my name, to be delivered into your hands. Etc.”
As this whole circumstance is related only for the profit
of the reader, and as I knew that the sister still had my
letters on the subject in her possession, I wrote to her,
requesting her to send them to me, at the time when I
published the last account about the Orphan-Houses, etc.,
and extracts of them were given in the last Report, in so
far as they might refer to the subject or tend to edifica-
cation. These extracts are here reprinted. My reply to
the above was this :
21, Paul Street, Kingsdown, Bristol,
“My dear Sister, Dec. 6, 1842.
“Your letter found me in peace, and did not in
the least surprise me. Dealing with God is a reality.
Saints have power with him through Jesus. It is now
forty-two days since you first mentioned this matter to
me. I cannot but admire the wisdom of God and his love
to you in allowing me to speak to you as I did [i. e. offer-
ing her to have one purse with me, when I thought she
had no earthly possessions at all], that thus this great
privilege might be bestowed upon you, to give up this
little sum for him. Since that hour I have daily prayed
for you, and often thrice or more in the course of the day,
that the Lord would make you so happy in himself, and
help you with such faith to lay hold on all which he has
given you in Jesus, that you might be constrained by
love cheerfully to lay down this little sum at his feet.
Thus I prayed again at six o'clock this morning for you.
U U
494 [A.D. 1843.
Nor have I had the least doubt from the counnencement
that the Lord did hear my prayer; yea, so fully have I
been assured that I had the petition, that again and
again I have thanked him that he had answered my prayer,
before I saw you eighteen days since, and before your
letter came this morning. Moreover, I have been fully
assured since you were last here, that he was carrying on
his work in your soul with reference to this matter, and
that no subtle suggestions of Satan, nor educational pre-
judices, nor misinterpretations of the Scriptures, were able
to prevail; for I had asked the Lord, by his Spirit to
overcome them in you, and that, if a brother's word
should be needed, he would be pleased to incline your
heart to write to me: and as no letter came, I felt fully
confident, you were going forward in this matter in peace.
When I had seen you this day six weeks, and learned
about this little sum, I determined never to say or write to
gyou another word on the subject, but to leave you in the
hands of the Lord. Thus I purposed again during the
last eighteen days; for it was not the money given up,
that I cared for in you, but the money given up unto the
Lord, and from right motives. On this very account I
advised you to wait one fortnight longer, though you had
come to the conclusion; but now, having done so, and
seeing that you are fully purposed in the Lord to be poor
in this world indeed, that the more abundantly you may
enjoy his riches, his inexhaustible riches, I change my
advice. My word now, beloved sister, is this: “What-
soever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might,” and
“If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them.”
Delay then no longer, even as also you have no desire to
delay: and the Lord will bless you abundantly in doing
so, inasmuch as you do it unto him. As you desire to
intrust me with this money, I do not refuse it, knowing
many ways to lay it out for him. Etc.” Then only
follows the direction how the money is to be paid into
my bankers’ hands.
On Dec. 18, 1842, Ireceived a reply to my letter, which
answer was begun to be written on Dec. 8th, but finished
on the 16th. I give a few extracts of the letter: “Since
I last saw you, dear brother, I have not had the slightest
doubt as to what I ought to do : the word of God has
A.D. 1843.] 495
been so clear to me on this head, that I have been kept
resting on it, and, in answer to your prayers, no tempta-
tion has been allowed to prevail, indeed I think I may
add to arise. But I feel that temptations may come, and
that I may in seasons of trial not always have faith to be
able to rejoice in this privilege. My heart is so deceitful
and my faith so weak, that I shall greatly need your
prayers still. Will you then, if the Lord enables you,
pray, that I may never offend my Father by regretting in
the least measure this act of obedience, which he has by
his grace inclined me to carry out. I shall pray the Lord
still to lay me on your heart. I felt so sure, that you
were helped to pray for me, that I had thanked the Lord
for his grace. I am glad you did not write, although I
amuch value your advice; but I wish to be led by the
Lord alone, after he had used you as the instrument in
the first instance, and in such a way too, that I am quite
sure he intended to bless you to my soul in this matter.
I have asked my heart whether I am really doing this to
him. My heart assures me that I am, and not from any
other motive than obedience to the written word. Before
I ever saw you. I had asked the Lord to make me willing
to give this little sum into your hands, if it were his will
I should; but his time to make me willing had not then
come; even then I had in a measure given it to you,
having written a paper, desiring, in case I should fall
asleep in Jesus, that you might get possession of it; I
had it signed by two witnesses, and I always carried it
about with me when I travelled, sealed and directed to
you. When I wrote this, I little thought what grace
the Lord had in store for me. You will forgive my being
thus tedious, but I am sure you will praise the Lord
with me for his gracious dealings with me. Etc.”—At
the end of this letter, which was finished on Dec. 16, the
sister tells me, that unexpectedly a hinderance had arisen
to her having possession of the money, so that it was not
likely it could be paid over to me till about the end of
January, 1843.
When this letter came, it would have been naturally a
great disappointment to me, as the sister had told me in
a previous letter that the money should be paid into my
hands, and as just at that time in a variety of ways it was
U U 2
496 [A.D. 1843.
desirable that I should have considerable sums. The
Lord, however, enabled me immediately to lay hold on
that word, “We know that all things work together for
good to them that love God,” Rom. viii. 28, and my soul
was in peace, though we had only enough money in hand
to provide for one or at the most for two days the neces-
sary provisions in the Orphan-Houses. It was but the
next day, Dec. 19, 1842, when Ireceived 100l. from A. B.,
and on Dec. 22, I received 50l. from a brother in Bristol,
besides other donations: so that within one week, after I
had had grace to delight myself in the will of God, he
gave me about 200l., whereby I was able to meet all the
heavy expenses of replenishing the stores, &c., on account
of which I should naturally have been tried in the pay-
ment of the money being delayed.
In reply to the letter, which I received from this sister
on Dec. 18, I wrote another on December 31, 1842, of
which I give an extract on this subject. “The hand of
the Lord is indeed most manifestly to be seen in this
matter, concerning the money: the way in which your
own mind was led; my speaking under the circumstances
under which I did, when you were already risen to leave
the room; the reason why I did so, i. e. mere sympathy
with your circumstances, and thinking that some day or
other my brotherly offer might be a comfort to you,
though you should never need it, and all this when I be-
lieved that at that time you did not possess 5l.—I have
continued to pray for you, or rather the Lord has enabled
me every day once, twice, thrice, or even more, to remem-
ber you. The burden of my prayer still has been, that
he would be pleased to make you very happy in himself,
and enable you to enter into the inheritance which awaits
you; further, that you may not be permitted in the least
to regret the step which you have taken, but rather con-
sider it a privilege to be permitted to give this little sum
back to him who gave it to you, and who gave himself for
you.-With reference to the delay, I cannot but rejoice.
This gives you abundant opportunity to ponder the mat-
ter, and afterwards to state to any (who, judging as those
who know not how rich the saints are, might blame you,)
that you did not do the thing in haste. I consider this
delay to be for the furtherance of the honour of the Lord.
A.D. 1843.] 497
You know my advice to you, to wait at least a fortnight.
That you have seen much of your unfaithfuluess, &c., I
consider to be an especial blessing which the Lord has
bestowed upon you, lest this step you have taken should
become a snare to you. Humblings last our whole life.
Jesus came not to save painted but real sinners; but he
has saved us, and will surely make it manifest. I have
a passage laid on my heart for you, read the whole of it
carefully; 2 Corinth. viii. 1–9, especially verse 9. Etc.”
Day after day now passed away and the money did not
come. The month of January was come to an end, and
February also, and the money had not come. Thus more
than one hundred and twenty days were gone by, whilst
day by day I brought my petition before the Lord, that
he would bless this sister, keep her steadfast in her pur-
pose, and intrust me with this money for his work in my
hands. Amidst it all, my heart was assured (judging
from the earnestness which he had given me in prayer,
and that I had only desired this matter to the praise of
his name), that in his own time he would bring it
about. But I never wrote one single line to this sister on
the subject, all this time. At last, on the one hundred
and thirty-fourth day since I had daily besought the Lord
about this matter, on March 8th, 1843, I received a letter
from the sister, informing me that the 500l. had been paid
into the hands of my bankers. -
I now wrote to the sister to inquire, whether she wished
the money to be expended upon any particular objects, or
whether she would leave me altogether free to expend it,
as I might be led.
In reply to this she wrote me: “Dear Brother, I would
still leave this little sum in the hands of him to whom it
has been given. May he alone be your guide in disposing
of it. If I did express one wish, it would be, that you
would make use of a part for your own or your family’s
present necessity.” This latter point I declined entirely,
thinking it not wise to take a part of this money for my-
self, to avoid even the appearance as if in any measure I
had sought my own things in this matter, instead of the
things of Jesus Christ.
The 500l. were thus portioned out: 100l. for the School
—Bible—Tract and Missionary Fund, 50l. for the Em-
U U 3
498 [A.D. 1843.
ployment Fund.* 50l. was taken at once for the Orphan-
Fund, and afterwards also the remaining 300l. when, as I
shall presently relate, the Lord pointed out to me to go
forward in the Orphan work, and to establish a fourth
Orphan-House.
I have related the particulars connected with this dona-
tion so minutely, in order to show, that though we may
have long to wait upon the Lord, yea, though for one
hundred and thirty-four days we may have daily the same
petition to bring before him, yet at last he will give us the
desire of our hearts, if our petitions are according to his
mind. And now I only give a few lines of a letter which
I received on July 3, 1844, from the sister who gave this
donation, together with my letters for which I had asked
her, in order that I may show her state of mind on the
subject, after she had had it more than twenty months
before her, and after she had for sixteen months actually
given up the money. She writes thus: “I am thankful
to say that I have never for one moment had the slightest
feeling of regret; but it is wholly of the Lord’s abound-
ing grace. I speak it to his praise.”
On March 31, 1843, I called at the Orphan-Houses, to
make certain arrangements, and one of the sisters told
me by the way, that she had been asked by Miss G., who
with her father occupied the house, No. 4, Wilson Street,
to let me know that they wished to give up their house,
if I would like to take it; but she had replied that it was
of no use to tell me about it, for she was sure that I had
no thought of opening another Orphan-House. When I
came home, this matter greatly occupied my mind. I
could not but ask the Lord again and again whether he
would have me to open another Orphan-House, and
whether the time was now come that I should serve him
still more extensively in this way. The more I pondered
the matter, the more it appeared to me that this was the
hand of God, moving me onwards in this service. The
following remarkable combination of circumstances struck
me in particular. 1, There are more applications made
for the admission of Orphans, especially of late, than we
* This little charity business was commenced in connexion with the
church assembling at Bethesda and Salem chapels, Bristol, for the pur-
pose of seeking to provide employment for the poor believers, especially
the poor sisters, when they were without work.
A.D. 1843.] 499
are at all able to meet, though we fill the houses as much
as the health of the children and of the labourers will
possibly admit. 2, If I did take another house for Or-
phans, it would be most desirable it should be in the same
street where the other three are, as thus the labour is less,
and in times of great need we are near together for
prayer, the distribution of the money, &c. But since the
third Orphan-House was opened, in Nov. 1837, there
never has been one of the larger houses in the street to
be let. 3, There are about fifteen children in the Infant-
Orphan-House, whom it would have been well some time
ago to have removed to the house for the older girls,
had there been room; but when a vacancy happened to
occur in that house, there were generally several waiting
to fill it up, so that unintentionally the female children in
the Infant-Orphan-House remained where they were; but
this is not well, nor is it according to my original inten-
tion; for the infants were intended only to be left till
they are seven years old, and then to be removed to the
houses for older boys and girls. This my original plan
could be executed better for the future, and at once for
the present, were I to open another Orphan-House.
4, I know two sisters who seem suitable labourers for
this fourth Orphan-House, and who have a desire thus to
be engaged. 5, There are 300l. remaining of the 500l.
which I so lately received. This money may be used for
the furnishing and fitting up of a new Orphan-House. So
much money I have never had in hand at one time durin
the last five years. This seemed to me a remarkable thing,
in connexion with the four other reasons. 6, The estab-
lishing of a fourth Orphan-House, which would increase
our expenses several hundred pounds a year, would be,
after we have gone for five years almost uninterruptedly
through trials of faith, a plain proof that I have not re-
gretted this service, and that I am not tired of this
precious way of depending upon the Lord from day to
day; and thus the faith of other children of God might
be strengthened.—But, most important, yea decidedly
conclusive, as these points were; yet they did not con-
vince me that I ought to go forward in this service, if the
Spirit's leading were not in connexion with them. I
therefore gave myself to prayer. I prayed day after day,
without saying any thing to any human being. I prayed
500 [A.D. 1843.
two and twenty days, without even mentioning it to my
dear wife. On that very day, when I did mention it to
her, and on which I had come to the conclusion, after
three weeks' prayer and consideration in the fear of God,
to establish another Orphan-House, I received from A.B.
50l. and 11. through him from a sister. What a striking
confirmation that the Lord will help, though the necessi-
ties should increase more and more. At last, on the 24th
day, having been now for several days fully assured, that
God would have me go forward in this service, I went to
inquire whether Mr. and Miss G. still wished to give up
the house. But here I found an apparent hinderance.
Having heard no wish expressed on my part to take the
house, and the sister in the Orphan-Houses, with whom
Miss G. had communicated, not having given her the
least reason to think that I should do so, Mr. and Miss
G. had altered their plans, and now purposed to remain in
the house. However, I was to call again in a week, when
I should receive an answer. I was not in the least dis-
comforted by this obstacle. “Lord, if thou hast no need
of another Orphan-House, I have none,” was the burden
of my prayer. I was willing to do God’s will, yea
to delight myself in his will. And just on this very
ground, because I knew I sought not my own honour but
the Lord's; because I knew I was not serving myself,
but the Lord, in this thing ; and because I knew that
with so much calm, quiet, prayerful, self-questioning con-
sideration I had gone about this business, and had only
after many days, during which I had been thus waiting
upon the Lord, come to the conclusion that it was the
will of God I should go forward in this service : for these
reasons I felt sure, (notwithstanding what Mr. and Miss
G. had told me), that I should have the house. I also
especially judged, that thus it would be, because I was
quite in peace, when I heard of the obstacle, a plain proof
that I was not in self-will going on in this matter, but
according to the leading of the Holy Ghost; for if accord-
ing to my natural mind I had sought to enlarge the work,
I should have been excited and uncomfortable when I met
with this obstacle. After a week I called again on Mr.
G. And now see how God had wrought ! On the same
day on which I had seen Mr. G., he went out and met
with a suitable house, so that when I came the second
A.D. 1843. 501
time, he was willing to let me have the one which he then
occupied in Wilson Street; and as the owner accepted
me as a tenant, all the difficulties were removed, so that
after the 1st of June we began fitting up the house, and
in July the first Orphans were received.
Of the donations which came in from March 8 to the
end of May, 1843, and which were many, I only notice:
on April 10 a brother gave 5l., which had been saved out
of house furnishing, by doing it in a plainer way.
At the end of May, 1843, I entered upon a remarkable
part of my life, upon which I must dwell somewhat at
length, especially as it will, by God’s blessing, still further
show the Reader the preciousness of depending upon God
for every thing.
It was in September or October 1841, that one day a
German lady, a native of Wirtemberg, called on me. She
said that she had come to England to perfect herself in
English, and purposed afterwards to return to Germany
to establish a boarding school for young ladies, and es-
pecially for English young ladies. Having heard that I
was a German, she came to obtain my advice, and to
request me to interest myself for her in getting her pupils
to instruct in German, in order thus to support herself
while in England. After having conversed with her for
some time about these things, and given her the informa-
tion which she desired, I then spoke to her about the
things of God, in which conversation I soon found, that
though she might have had some religious feelings from
time to time, yet that she did not know the Lord. On
leaving me I gave her the first and second part of my
Narrative, which I thought she would read because it
contained the experience of a German, and thus she
would also have exercise in English. I then followed with
my prayers the reading of the book, that God would be
pleased to bless it to the conversion of her soul. After
some time she called on me again, telling me that she had
been deeply interested in reading my Narrative, and asked
me whether I had any objection to her translating the
book into German, with the view of getting it published
on her return to Germany. My reply was, that I had no
right to object to it; for in so far, as translation into
another language was concerned, the book was every one’s
property. I might have mentioned that I did not think
502 [A.D. 1843.
her yet sufficiently acquainted either with the English
language or the state of things in England, especially
religiously, and that, as she was not converted herself she
could not give the exact translation of the book, though
she were qualified with reference to the two former points;
but as I had the spiritual benefit of the individual in
view, I thought thus with myself; this person has no
employment at present, and by translating this book she
will be kept from the many snares connected with idle-
ness; she will by this means also make progress in
English, which she is desirous of doing; but most of all,
the fact of translating a book for the press will oblige her
more accurately and attentively to consider what is con-
tained in it, than she would be obliged to do, were she
simply to read it through several times, and therefore this
work may, with God’s blessing, be instrumental in doing
good to her soul. The last point weighed particularly
with me; I therefore did not discourage her, though at
the same time I did not encourage her, but left the matter
to herself. As, however, she left me with the impression
that she was going to translate the book, I asked the
Lord to convert her soul in doing so. After a time Mrs.
G. called on me again, and brought me a part of the
manuscript, that I might read it over. I took it, but
could not promise her to read it; for I had little prospect
of doing so, for want of time. Nevertheless I read a few
pages, which I found rather better translated than I had
expected. After this she brought me at two or three
other times considerable parts of the translation, which,
however, I had never time to read. By this time the
winter had passed away, and it was come to March 1842,
when all of a sudden, one Wednesday afternoon, I
was seized with sharp pains, something like spasms,
which were so acute that, though they passed off after
about an hour, they left me so weak, that I was not able
to go out to our usual meeting on that evening. About
seven o’clock, just when I should have been at the meet-
ing but for this illness, Mrs. G., who for several weeks
had been at Trowbridge, to finish the translation, and to
instruct a young lady in German, came to take leave of
me. She said she now purposed to return to Wirtem-
berg. Though I was very weak, yet, under these cicum-
stances, I could not decline seeing her, as it would be in
A.D. 1843.] 503
all human probability the last time that I should do so.
I therefore besought the Lord to strengthen me for this
service (which I soon perceived he had done), and, after
a short conversation with her about her circumstances, I
began to speak to her about her soul, and soon found she
was heavy laden, burdened under her sins, and broken in
heart. With many tears, she told me, that she was a
great sinner, an exceedingly great sinner. Every word
she spoke gave me the impression, that all she now needed
was, to have the work of Christ pointed out to her, i. e.
the power of his blood, in cleansing from all sin, by faith
in his name. I spent about two hours with her, and she
left me with many tears.-I also had said to her at the
beginning of the conversation with reference to the trans-
lation of my Narrative, that if she still desired to publish
it, she should seek to get the assistance of a pious clergy-
man in Germany, who understood English well.—On the
next morning about nine Mrs. G. called again on me,
telling me that she could not leave Bristol without seeing
me once more. She now spent about three hours more
with me, in which she told me, that during the night,
which she had chiefly spent in prayer and reading the word
of God, she had found peace in the Lord Jesus, and that
she was now happy in him. She further told me, that,
after she had translated a part of my Narrative, the spirit
of God began to work upon her heart, by convincing her
that she was a great sinner. The further she went on,
the more she felt what a sinner she was, till at last, when
she was come towards the end of the book, she came to
the conclusion to return to Germany. I now gave her
some advice in reference to her return, and also what she
should do with reference to her spiritual welfare, after her
return to Wirtemberg. After this she left me. About
two or three weeks after (in April, 1842) I received a long
letter from her, written on her way homeward, by which
I was still further confirmed that, although Mrs. G. was
only a mere babe in Christ, yet that she was a babe, and
that a real work of grace had been begun in her heart. I
then wrote to her, but from that time till towards the end
of May 1843, I heard no more from her. Towards the end
of May, 1843, however, I received a long letter from her,
dated Stuttgart, (capital of the kingdom of Wirtemberg.)
In this letter Mrs. G. gave me an outline of her history
504 [A.D. 1843.
during the year after she had returned to her country.
Suffice it here to say, that she had sought in vain to find
christians with whom she could be united in fellowship
according to the truths she thought she saw in my Narra-
tive, and according to what she had seen and heard at our
meetings in Bristol. At last, about New-year, 1843, she
became acquainted with a little baptist church, which was
separated from the State church, and she was after a time
baptized and received into fellowship among them, which
took place in Feb. 1843. Soon, however, she found things
different, as to church order, etc., from what she had seen
amongst us in Bristol, or from what she had learnt from
my Narrative, especially with reference to close baptist
principles, which in the highest and strongest degree
were practised among the brethren at Stuttgart, and she
wrote to me, to ask my view about that point, as she felt
pained at separating from true believers, because they
might not be instructed about believers' baptism. Her
letter was accompanied by another letter from one of the
brethren of the baptist church, Dr. R. , a solicitor or
barrister to the upper tribunal of the kingdom of Wir-
temberg. The letter of the latter testified of the gracious
spirit of the writer, but also that he likewise held the
separating views of close communion, and that he, having
read the translation of my Narrative in manuscript, seemed
to be drawn and knit to me affectionately, but wished to
have, upon Scriptural ground, my views about open
COIn DºllllllOI).
Before I received these letters I had been repeatedly
asked during my fourteen years' residence in England,
why I did not labour in my own country. The import-
ance also of doing so had been pointed out to me; nor
was I myself insensible to this; but my answer had
always been : “I must labour where the Lord will have
me to be, and as I have never seen it to be the Lord’s
will that I should labour in Germany, I ought not to de
so.” About fourteen months before I received these
letters, it had been also more than ever laid on my heart
by brother R. C. He had seen something of the religious
state of the Continent, and he had heard still more about
it, and he had found almost every where that when he set
truth before brethren, they said, It is Scriptural, you are
right; but if we were to practise this, what would be the
A.D. 1843.] 505
consequences P what would become of us and our wives
and children P or something of that kind. Brother C.
therefore came on purpose to see me, on his return from
Denmark, to lay it on my heart to visit Germany, on
account of my being a native and having been led by the
Lord as I had. He told me especially that he considered
it of importance that I should publish my Narrative in
German, in order that thus the faith of the brethren, with
the Lord’s blessing, might be strengthened, and that they
might be led to act according to the light which they had.
All this seemed to me very important; but my answer was
as before: I cannot go, till the Lord calls me. Scarcely had
I read the letters from Mrs. G. and Dr. R. , but I
felt : now is the time come when I am to go to Germany;
and from that time I gave myself to prayer about it.
When I afterwards communicated my feeling on the
subject to brother R. C. he said: I am not surprised about
it, for from the time that I spoke to you on the subject,
I have been constantly asking the Lord to bring it about.
—The reasons that pointed it out to me as the Lord’s
will, that I ought to go to Germany to labour there for a
season, were these. 1, I knew not of one single body of
believers, who were gathered on scriptural principles. In
all the States of Germany, with scarcely any exception,
believers are connected with the State Churches, and the
very few believers of whom I had heard that they were
separated, I knew to be close Baptists, who, generally,
by their most exclusive separatist views, only confirmed
believers in remaining in the Establishment. Especially
of the Baptist Church at Stuttgart I had much reason to
believe this. It seemed to me therefore important to go
to Germany, and labour there for a season, if it might
please the Lord to condescend to use me to put a light
on a candlestick, howsoever dimly it might be burning at
the first, so that by means thereof the light might be
spread in other parts of Germany. 2, As I am a German,
and therefore familiar with the language, there seemed to
me an especial call that I should take on myself this
service, particularly as my experience in connexion with
several bodies of believers, during the 133 years previous
to this time, would be of great help in this service. 3, It
seemed further to me to be the Lord’s will that I should
go to Germany, in order that I might publish my Narra-
X X.
506 [A.D. 1843.
tive of the Lord's dealings with me (which Mrs. G. had
not been able to accomplish), and that not simply in the
form of a translation, but so that it should be prepared
for the press just as the necessities of the believers in
Germany, (who, with scarcely any exceptions, are not only
connected with the Establishment, but have no idea that
there is any where else any thing besides Establishment)
might require it. Thus, I judged, something would be
given to Germany of the practical working of labouring
out of the Establishment; of meeting only as believers in
the name of the Lord Jesus, irrespective of any particular
religious party or sect, and that in dependance upon the
power and presence of the Holy Ghost in the Church of
Christ; of dependance upon the Lord alone for every
thing; of recognizing no other book but the Holy Scrip-
tures for our rule concerning every thing, &c.; and thus
my Narrative, if the Lord allowed me to publish it, might
be working still, after I had left Germany. 4, Up to
that time I had never known an open door for me to
labour on the Continent, at least not in Germany; for in
the Establishment I neither could labour with a good
conscience, according to the light which the Lord had
been pleased to give me, nor should I have been permitted
to have done so, and I was not acquainted with believers
on the Continent out of the Establishment; and as to
preaching in the open air, or going somewhere and taking
a place for preaching, any thing of this sort was out of
the question; for I was too well acquainted with the
police of Germany, not to know that that would not be
permitted. But now I heard of an open door. At Stutt-
gart, I judged, I might labour in expounding the truth in
this close Baptist Church, and seek to bring these dear
brethren out of their sectarian views. 5, But that, which
in connexion with these four reasons had likewise much
influence upon me, was this: During the fourteen years
that I had been in England, I had never had my mind
drawn to labour on the Continent, and now the very
opposite was the case. It was but two or three days
before I received those letters from Stuttgart, that I had
again expressed my mind as to labouring in Germany,
7. e. that I felt no call from the Lord to do it, and had no
drawing towards it. Now the case was altogether other-
wise. I could not but pray about it; I could not but feel
A.D. 1843.] 507
drawn to go to Germany in love to the Lord and in pity
towards the poor Church of Christ in that country.
Naturally there was nothing inviting; for I saw a hard
struggle before me with reference to the brethren who
were to be won for the truth, and to be brought out of
their errors; in the Continental manners and the long
and beautiful journey on the Rhine I saw, through grace,
no charm, and certainly I saw nothing in them which
would induce me to leave home, but the reverse; the
fourth Orphan-House was on the point of being opened,
and I, naturally, was very reluctant to be absent from it
just then ; the labour would be great in Germany, and
work would heap up greatly for me in Bristol, during my
absence. But with all this:—the leading of my mind to
Germany still remained.
The more I prayed about these points, the more I
iudged it to be from the Lord, that I should go for a
season to Germany. It was but a few days, before I had
the fullest assurance in my soul, (after much prayer,
much self-examination in the fear of God, and after much
looking at these five points), that it was the will of God
I should go : yet even then I did not speak publicly
about it.
After having come to the conclusion, that, as far as I
could see, it was the will of God that I should go, I be-
gan prayerfully to look at the difficulties there were in
the way, which were principally these. 1. The new Or-
phan-House needed to be opened, and all the work in
connexion with it was to be done, before I could leave;
because I could not judge it to be of God, that this work,
which was begun, should remain unfinished, except abso-
lute necessity pointed it out, as otherwise it would be a
waste of money, a breach of promise to the relatives
whose children were to be received, &c. I therefore
asked the Lord to help me through all this work, which
was not a little, before I could leave. 2. I judged it for
various reasons important, not to leave the work of the
Orphan-Houses, Day-Schools, &c., without leaving such
a sum of money behind, as would, at least for about two
months, defray the probable current expenses for the
work, therefore a few hundred pounds I thought it desi-
rable to leave behind, in order that the burden of the
work might not be left upon the shoulders of my dear
X X 2
508 [A.D. 1843.
fellow-labourers. I had therefore by prayer to get this
sum from the Lord, for the obtaining of which I had no
natural prospects whatever. 3. Another obstacle in the
way was, want of money for travelling expenses to and
from Stuttgart, and means for staying there at least for a
time, and that not only for myself, but for my dear wife;
for I judged for various reasons, that it was the will of
God she should accompany me in this service, but princi-
pally because her health was not equal to being left in
Bristol, with the responsibility of the work resting upon
her in my absence. This again would require a considera-
ble sum, I mean considerable for me, a poor man. The
means I then had of my own, as far as I now remember,
were not enough, if they had been multiplied by fifty.
This obstacle was to be removed by prayer. 4. One of
the especial reasons for which I saw it to be the Lord’s
will that I should go to Germany was, the publishing of
my Narrative, at a cheap price (2s. for both parts), or to
be given away gratuitously, so that the poor might have
it. But this could not be obtained, except I published it
on my own account, to avoid the publisher's putting a
higher price upon it. Then again, as so much expense of
time was connected with printing it, I intended, if once F
went to Germany, to print not less than 4000 copies;
and what is even that number among the many millions
whose language is German. But whence was the money
to come for all this; an expense which, though printing
and paper are very much cheaper in Germany than in
England, yet I knew would cost between one and two
hundred pounds. For this, then, also, I, a poor man, be-
took myself to the living God, being fully assured, that
as he had pointed out to me his will with reference to my
going, he would also most assuredly provide the means.
May, I had a secret satisfaction in the greatness of the diff-
culties which were in the way. So far from being cast down
on account of them, they delighted my soul; for I only de-
sired to do the will of the Lord in this matter. In honesty
of heart I had examined the matter, as standing before
God. I wished only to know his will, that I might do it.
I judged, it was his will that I should go to Germany,
and therefore determined in his fear that I would go.
When I therefore saw the difficulties, they cast me not
down, but cheered me; for as it was the will of God, ac-

A.D. 1843.] 509
cording to my judgment, that I should go, I was sure he
would remove the obstacles out of the way; and there-
fore the greater the obstacles, the more abundantly plain
the proof, that I had come to a right judgment, if they
were removed by prayer; but if after all I had been mis-
taken, which I could not think I had been, then, the
sooner I was undeceived, the better. How different such
a state of heart, from what it would have been, if some-
how or other the love for a Continental tour, or the desire
to go up the beautiful Rhine, had beguiled me: then I
should not have liked to look at the difficulties, or at least
I should have sought to have them removed by my own
efforts. But as it was, I did nothing but pray. Prayer
and faith, the universal remedies against every want and
every difficulty, and the nourishment of prayer and faith,
God’s holy word, helped me over all the difficulties.—I
never remember in all my Christian course, a period now
(in May 1845) of nineteen years and six months, that I
ever SINCERELY and PATIENTLY sought to know the will
of God by the teaching of the Holy Ghost, through the in-
strumentality of the word of God, but I have been ALWAYS
directed rightly. But if honesty of heart and uprightness
before God were lacking, or if I did not patiently wait
upon God for instruction, or if I preferred the counsel of
my fellow men to the declarations of the word of the living
God, I made great mistakes.—5. A fifth difficulty in the
way was, to find a sister, as matron, for the new Orphan-
IHouse, who, so far as I could see, would be suitable ; for
there were reasons why the sister, of whom I had first
thought, could not be engaged for this work. This was
no small difficulty in the way, not only as a point im-
portant in itself, but also because I could not proceed
with the fitting up of the house, &c., till such a sister had
been found.
In the beginning of June, I began therefore to give .
myself to prayer, along with my wife and her sister who
lives with us, making it a point, every morning after
family prayer, to retire together for the express purpose
of asking the Lord to remove these five difficulties, if it
were indeed, as I judged, his holy will, that I should
labour for a season on the Continent. In addition to this
we day by day asked his blessing upon the brethren at
Stuttgart among whom I was looking forward to labour,
X X 3
510 [A.D. 1843.
and upon unconverted persons with whom I might come in
contact on the Continent in the ministry of the Gospel,
publicly or privately. We asked him also especially to
prepare the hearts of the brethen in Germany for my
service, to help me in writing the book, to bless it, &c.
We asked him further, to be with the church in Bristol,
during my absence, to use my absence as a means of
making the gifts, which he had bestowed among us, more
abundantly manifest, to help the labourers in the Orphan-
Houses and Day-Schools during my absence, &c. Thus
we were, morning by morning, waiting upon the Lord,
and enlarging our petitions as the Holy Spirit might lead
me in prayer. But whilst we were thus day by day
waiting upon the Lord, the difficulties, instead of being
removed, appeared to increase. For instance: instead of
money coming in for the Orphans, the Day-Schools, and
the other objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institu-
tion, there was considerably more expended than came
in, so that we were getting almost poor. Instead of
finding a sister, who seemed suitable as matron for the
new Orphan-house, I had the prospect of losing another
sister out of the work, who considered it her place to leave
Bristol. But notwithstanding all this, my soul was at
peace, being fully assured, that I could not be mistaken,
as I had come through sincere, patient, and prayerful
consideration of the whole matter at last to the conclu-
sion, it was the will of the Lord that I should go to
Germany, to labour there in the word, and publish my
Narrative in the German language. Faith therefore saw
all the difficulties already removed. Faith could give
thanks, while the difficulties yet remained. Faith could
triumph, though there seemed the death blow coming,
since there not only was no money coming in, but the
considerable sums, lately in hand, were rapidly diminish-
ing, and instead of finding a sister for the new Orphan-
House, another sister seemed on the point of leaving.
Thus forty days had been passing away, whilst day after
day we had been waiting unitedly upon the Lord ; but
the obstacles were greater than ever, yet my confidence
in the Lord, that he would remove the difficulties in his
own time, was greater than ever also. It was on July 12
that I said to a sister, being led to it by the certain
prospect of one of the dear labourers in the Orphan-
A.D. 1843.] 511
Houses going to leave; “Well, my soul is at peace.
The Lord's time is not yet come, but when it is come, he
will blow away all these obstacles, as chaff is blown away
before the wind.” It was only on E QUARTER OF AN
HOUR after, when the following paper was put into my
hands, whereby I obtained power over 7021. 3s. 7d.
“1st, The poor brethren and sisters of our dear Lord
and Saviour. In connexion with the Employ-
ment-Fund or otherwise [i. e. might be given
away in connexion with the Employment-Fund
or otherwise.]
2nd, Sending help in the Gospel of Christ to the
dear brethren in Germany, or publishing the
Narrative.
3rd, The dear Orphan-Children.
4th, To complete the payment of the expenses in-
curred by building a chapel for the meeting of
the saints at Barnstaple.
I leave the sums, to be used in these several objects,
under the Lord, to the judgment of the Lord's servant,
brother Müller, knowing assuredly that he whose steward
he is, will direct and guide him in this and every other
matter.—His holy name be praised for the REAL JOY I
feel to-day in doing a thing, which a few weeks since was
a trying act of obedience. Surely, the statutes of the
Lord are right, rejoicing the heart. In keeping of them
there is great reward.—July 10, 1843.”
Thus three of the hinderances were at once removed:
for I was by this sum furnished with travelling expenses,
and with what might be required for my stay in Germany,
had means to publish 4000 copies of my Narrative, and
was able to leave means behind for the work in Bristol,
sufficient for at least two months. When I received this
note, I was not in the least excited, but took the circum-
stance as quietly as if it were a matter which could not
be otherwise. I had been sure, that when the Lord's
time was come, he would send the means, and according
to my faith it was now granted to me: and a proof, that
up to the last I did believe, was, that, when the money
came, it did not surprise me, The 7021, 3s. 7d. was not
512 [A.D. 1843
portioned out (except what was sent to Barnstaple), till
my return, as I could not know how much each object
might require. It was thus spent. 1, For the chapel at
Barnstaple, 80l. 7s. 1d. 2, For poor saints, 1121. 2s.,
spent in a great measure in providing them or their
children with linen and clothes, and for the Employment-
Fund, 50l. 3, For publishing 4000 copies of the two
parts of my Narrative in German, our travelling ex-
penses to and from Stuttgart, our stay for nearly seven
months in Germany, and other expenses connected with
my service in Wirtemberg, 2671. 4s. 11d. 4, The re-
mainder of the 7021. 3s. 7d. being 192l. 9s. 7d. I put to
the Orphan-Fund, not that so much was in hand on m
return from Germany; for I had drawn on the strength
of what was in the hands of my bankers.
Shortly after I had received the 7021. 3s. 7d. on July
12, the Lord was pleased to remove the other difficulties
also ; for a sister was found for the matron’s place in the
new Orphan-House, and after this the Lord helped me
through the work connected with fitting up the house for
the reception of the children. The Lord likewise made
it plain to the sister who had purposed to leave her situa-
tion, that she should remain in Bristol. Thus all the
difficulties were by prayer and faith removed, after we had
been, day by day, more than fifty days waiting upon the
Lord.
On Aug. 3rd, I received a valuable donation of plate,
jewellery, china, linen, books, etc., which was a still fur-
ther proof of the Lord’s readiness to supply all that
might be needed during my absence in Germany, and
also of his having heard our requests that he would be
pleased to send in means before my departure. Most of
these articles were readily disposed of, so that, even before
I had set out, about 60l. had come in for them.
On Aug. 9, 1843, my dear wife and I left Bristol in
company of a German sister, Miss W. The latter,
together with a Swiss brother, had been led to see the
truth of believers' baptism, and had much wished to be
baptized; but as the baptist church at Stuttgart had re-
fused them baptism, except they would promise never to
take the Lord's supper any more with unbaptized be-
lievers, or with those who belonged to any State Church,
to which they could not conscientiously submit, they had
A.D. 1843.] 513
undertaken the journey of nearly 800 miles to come to
Bristol, to be baptized by me, as they both had read
the translation of my Narrative in manuscript, and
thus knew that we receive all who believe in the Lord
Jesus, though they should not agree with us in all parts
of truth. They had arrived in Bristol about a fortnight
before my departure for Germany, and were baptized at
Bethesda a week after their arrival, when I gave an
address in German, and used the words of the German
translation of the Holy Scriptures which contain the
institution of baptism, as neither the brother nor sister
understood English. The brother, who had been a teacher
and cashier in a considerable establishment in Wirtem-
berg for educating young gentlemen, and who had lost
his situation when his views with reference to baptism
became known, remained in England as teacher of the
French and German languages, and the sister travelled
back with us to Germany.
During the time of my absence from Bristol, I kept no
journal, and therefore I cannot give a minute account of
all that transpired, and that might be interesting to the
believing reader; but as some letters which I wrote to
one of my sisters-in-law are preserved, and also all the
letters which I wrote to the brethren in Bristol, among
whom I labour, I shall be able by giving these letters, to
furnish a pretty full account of my service in Germany up
to my return.
The following letter to my sister-in-law gives some ac-
count of a great part of our journey.
Weinheim, Aug. 19, 1843.
My dear L.
Thus far we have now been brought through the
goodness of the Lord. If you look at the map where
Mannheim is, you will, I think, find a small town, called
Weinheim, the place where we are now at Mrs. M’s.
Weinheim forms with Heidelberg and Mannheim a triangle,
about 10 miles from Mannheim, and the same from
IIeidelberg. On the Lord’s day evening last I wrote to
you from Rotterdam, which letter, I hope, you safely
received. On Monday morning at seven, Aug. 14, we
left Rotterdam with sister W. in one of the Rhine
steamers, in which we sailed till about half-past eight in
514 [A.D. 1843.
the evening, when we arrived at Emmerich, the first Prus-
sian town, where we stopped for the night. The weather
was beautiful, as indeed it has been every day of this
week. There was nothing remarkable as to natural things,
except a large noble river, and on the banks of the river
clean pretty cottages of the Dutch people. The Lord
enabled me to do a little for him. I distributed German
tracts among those who could read German; but many
of them were Dutch persons, who could understand me
in speaking to them, but could not read German. I had
a long but affecting conversation with four Jews, who,
though disagreeing among themselves as to their religious
views, were all agreed in their complete rejection of Jesus
of Nazareth, as the Messiah, and, as usual, blasphemed.
I conversed with many persons, but found only one aged
person, who, I think, as far as I could learn, was a chris-
tian. After having given him a tract, having heard my
testimony for Christ, he came with tears and asked me to
sell him another tract. After having told him that I
gladly gave him the tract, he then asked me to give him
a third and a fourth for the old clergyman and the
schoolmaster of his place, and said, Oh! if you could but
stop, how glad the old clergyman, a pious man, would be
to see you.—There were two other interesting things
that day. Very soon after we had started, perhaps two
hours after, a gentleman left, to whom I gave a tract in
German and English, as he could also read English. He
then told me he had seen me reading the Bible, but did
not like to interrupt me. I told him my errand to Ger-
many. His reply was: “Brother, the Lord bless thee.”
On asking him who he was, he told me he was a Baptist
minister at Amsterdam, and on his way to the brethren
at Utrecht, in Holland. He now much regretted not to
have had conversation with me. In the afternoon, a
gentleman, an officer on pension, who, with his lady, had
heard my confession for Christ, while I was conversing
with a person sitting close by, asked me very politely, on
his leaving, for a tract.—There were two little cabins in
the steamer, each with two berths, one of which Iengaged
for Mary and myself, it being much cheaper than to go
on shore, though we should not do so again, as our sleep
was greatly interrupted, there being much noise till
twelve o’clock, and commencing again soon after three in
A.D. 1843.] 515
the mornings, so that for three nights our sleep was
greatly interrupted. Yet I do not mention this in the
way of complaint, for we have only to sing of mercy.
However, as in spiritual things, so in natural things, we
learn daily. The noise only arose from the needful occu-
pations, but it could scarcely have been greater than it
Was, if persons had purposely tried to disturb us.--At
half-past five on Tuesday morning the steamer began
again to ply. While I was sitting on deck, between five
and six, reading the Bible, a Dutchman came to me to
speak about the things of God. He understood me
pretty well, but I understood him only imperfectly. He
questioned me about the connexion between faith and
works, and how man can believe, being a fallen being in
Adam. I fear it was more intellectual than heart-work
with him, but I made use of the opportunity, to preach
Jesus before all, who through this conversation had been
drawn round us. This day also I had opportunities of
giving away tracts, and of speaking to several, particularly
to a young Prussian soldier, and other young men. But
all were dead. Most listened and received the tracts, but
there were some who boldly rejected. On the second day
we sailed from half-past five in the morning till about
half-past ten in the evening, when we arrived at Cologne,
where we stopped. Our German sister went on shore,
and took leave of us, to go on by another company’s
vessel, for which she had previously paid; dear Mary and
I remained alone on board. The third day we had very
few passengers on board. Two Irish gentlemen and an
English gentleman came on board, to whom I gave English
tracts. One of them soon left, and the other two declared
themselves on the Lord’s side. Two other Jews, who
had come on board, likewise rejected the truth, yet I con-
versed with them till they blasphemed. This third day
we sailed from ten in the morning till about half-past
seven in the evening, when we arrived at the Prussian
fortress, Coblentz. Mary and I now took a little walk.
In the town I gave some tracts to a Prussian soldier, for
himself and some of his comrades, for having given us
some information, and in going back to the steamer we
heard an English lady before us speaking English to a
little boy who was with her. We joined her, and offered
her some English tracts, which she accepted, also some
516 [A.D. 1843.
German tracts for her Roman Catholic servant. To-day
we have seen beautiful scenery. Fourth day, Aug. 17.
One of the Irish gentlemen asked me to read to him and
his friend a chapter in the Bible. This day also we glided
along through most beautiful scenery. Travelling is a
very dangerous thing. I would exhort every one, espe-
cially to be aware what he is about before he sets out on a
journey. Much as I had prayed about this journey, and
sure as I have been and still am, that the Lord sent me
on this errand, I was yet made to feel how difficult it is
to keep the heart in a right frame whilst looking at such
beautiful scenery. It surpassed all I have before seen of
the kind. I suppose we have not had less than forty in-
stances of ruined castles, fortresses, &c., brought before
us this day; the ancient Roman glory—the glory of the
German knights, and of the German emperors, whose
works, castles, and fortresses we saw in ruins, how loudly
does it speak of the changeableness of all earthly things,
and yet how pernicious often the effect upon the new
nature, while looking at these things. The Rhine is wide,
the castles often quite close to the river, and hundreds of
millions of vines, you might say, without exaggeration,
and tens of thousands of vineyards all along the river for
perhaps a hundred miles or more. It is beautiful; but
how poor, how very poor this beauty in comparison with
Jesus! Through grace I would not pay one shilling to
see it again, nor go one mile to see it again, for the sake
of seeing it.—On the fourth evening, after having sailed
that day from seven in the morning, we arrived about five
or six o'clock at Mayence, sister W. having joined us
again. We found it very refreshing to have a few hours
quiet in an hotel, and then all three together took a
walk. In this town, where printing was invented, God's
precious word is not valued. Almost all are Romanists.
It is a large, magnificent, and busy town, and a strong
fortress. The railroad also was just in sight on the oppo-
site side of the river. There was scarcely a trace to be
seen of that poverty which you see so often in large
towns in England, but all bespoke abundance, though I
know there is not the abundance of the English gold.
Yesterday morning, Aug. 18, we ought to have left at
eight o’clock by the steamer, by which we had taken our
places from Rotterdam to Mannheim, but the steamer by
A.D. 1843.] 517
which we ought to have gone did not arrive. We waited
hour after hour, till at last, near four o'clock in the after-
noon, we left Mayence for Mannheim by a steamer of
another company, having thus to lose the money we had
previously paid. We were on board of this steamer about
seven hours, till near eleven in the evening, when we
arrived at Mannheim. There were at least 14 English
passengers on board, besides many Germans and French.
I distributed English and German tracts, and had conver-
sation with several. There was a dear young sister, a
French lady, with whom I had much conversation. She
had been with her little brother to a bathing place near
the Rhine. I saw her reading the Epistle to the Romans,
and thus took the opportunity to converse with her. She
had been at school in Paris till within a few months, and
is now, as she has no parents, living with her aunt, a pious
woman, near Strasbourg. It was very refreshing to be
able to help this solitary one, who knew no one on board,
and who was very glad to have a little counsel. In parting
I gave her a copy of my Narrative, some English tracts,
a German tract, and an Orphan Report, as she has begun
to learn English, and has a friend, a believer, who under-
stands English well. I had also a pretty long conversation
with a German young gentleman, a Roman Catholic,
about the way to heaven. This morning, Aug. 19, we
called on our sister N. at Mannheim, if it might please
the Lord to use us to benefit and restore her soul. We
found out her residence after some inquiry, and she
seemed very glad to see us. After having our passports
signed, and taken up some money from the banker, we left
Mannheim at two o'clock in the afternoon, and arrived
here at four, where we were very affectionately received
by brother T. H. and dear Mrs. M. We are now staying
in an old building, formerly a Roman Catholic cloister,
where I this evening expounded the Scriptures.
Aug. 20, 1843.
This morning I expounded the Scriptures at family
prayer in English, then at eleven o’clock we broke bread
in the cloister, being five in number, and this afternoon,
at four o’clock, I expounded again, when altogether 10
English gentlemen and ladies, who are staying here, were
present. To-morrow morning I purpose to see the pious
Lutheran clergyman resident here, and about one o'clock,
Y Y
518 [A.D. 1843.

the Lord willing, we shall leave by the mail and arrive at
Stuttgart on Tuesday evening, Aug. 22. The heat has
been exceedingly great all the last week, so that we have
constantly been obliged to sleep with the window wide
open. Farewell, dear helper. Our love to dear sister E.
from whom we shall be very glad to hear, and to whom
you will please to communicate all in our letters that may
be interesting to her. Our tender love also to our own
dear child. How gladly should we see and kiss her, but
though we cannot do that, yet we pray for her. Love
also to S. My especial love to all my dear fellow-labourers
in the church. My love to all the dear brethren and sis-
ters in the Orphan-Houses and Day-Schools. Our love
to all the saints.
Your affectionate brother,
GEORGE MULLER.
We are now just 600 miles from Bristol.
I make a few remarks in connexion with this letter.
I found it injurious to my inner man that for three
nights I had had very little sleep. My own experience
has been almost invariably, that if I have not the needful
sleep, my spiritual enjoyment and strength is greatly
affected by it. I judge it of great moment that the be-
liever, in travelling, should seek as much as possible to
refrain from travelling by night, or from travelling in such
a way as that he is deprived of the needful night's rest;
for if he does not, he will be unable with renewed bodily
and mental strength to give himself to prayer and medita-
tion, and the reading of the Holy Scriptures, and he
will surely feel the pernicious effects of this all the day
long. There may occur cases when travelling by night
cannot be avoided, but if it can, though we should seem to
lose time by it, and though it should cost more money, I
would most affectionately and solemnly recommend the
refraining from night travelling ; for, in addition to our
drawing beyond measure upon our bodily strength, we
must be losers spiritually. The next thing I would advise
with reference to travelling is, with all one's might to
seek morning by morning, before setting out, to take time
for meditation and prayer, and reading the word of God;
for although we are always exposed to temptation, yet we
are so especially in travelling. Travelling is one of the
devil’s especial opportunities for tempting us. Think of
A.D. 1843.] 519
that, dear fellow believers. Seek always to ascertain
carefully the mind of God, before you begin any thing,
but do so in particular before you go a journey, so that
you may be quite sure that it is the will of God that you
should undertake that journey, lest you should needlessly
expose yourself to one of the special opportunities of the
devil to ensnare you. So far from envying those who
have a carriage and horses at their command, or an abun-
dance of means, so that they are not hindered from
travelling by want of means, let us, who are not thus
situated, rather thank God that in this particular we are
not exposed to the temptation of needing to be less care-
ful in ascertaining the will of God, before we set out on a
journey.
-- Stuttgart, Aug. 30, 1843.
My dear L 2
My last letter I finished on the 20th, and posted it
on the 21st at Weinheim. On Monday morning, Aug.
21, I saw a pious clergyman at Weinheim, a true brother,
and a nice man. But we came, without my seeking it,
upon the subject of separation from the state church, for
which I could not be sorry, as I had an opportunity of
stating truth to him which it may please the Lord to use
hereafter. Mrs. gave us a rich silk dress, quite new,
and a few silver articles for the Orphans. So even here
the Lord makes it manifest that he is mindful of this
work. About one o’clock in the afternoon we left Wein-
heim. At Heidelberg, about ten miles from there, a
person came into the mail in which Mary and I were,
whom I found out in a few moments to be a brother;
and a few minutes afterwards the widow of a much tried
pious clergyman, who herself also loves the Lord Jesus,
seated herself likewise. We had now, from three o’clock
till about half-past nine in the evening, when we arrived
at Heilbronn, a most pleasant and profitable time, being
all four believers. I told this brother much about Eng-
land, and also about the Orphans, and on separating from
him he gave me a gold coin, about seventeen shillings in
value, for the Orphans. It was indeed a most precious
gift to me, and a fresh proof in what a variety of ways
the Lord is able to send help. We remained the night
at Heilbronn, that we might not have to travel the night,

Y Y 2
520 [A.D. 1843.
left the next morning at eleven o’clock, and reached the
apartments of our sister G. about eight in the evening
on Aug. 22. We were received in the most affectionate
way, and she has done every thing to make us comfortable,
but the very great heat and the change of living have
hitherto drawn upon both of us. But I think, that, with
the Lord’s blessing, we shall be better after a few days.
Indeed I have been rather better yesterday and to-day.
On the same evening of our arrival here I went to the
post-office and found your first letter, and last Monday
morning I received your second also. The next after-
noon, Wednesday, Aug. 23rd, I went to brother Dr. R.,
with whom I spent about two hours; and in the evening
from half-past eight till ten o’clock I met the four elders
of the Baptist Church at his house. The next evening
from half-past eight to ten was a meeting of the little
church, which consists of about 50 brethren and sisters,
of whom almost all were present. I stated the object of
my coming to Germany, in so far as it was wise to do so,
and also a little about the church in Bristol. The next
evening, Aug. 25th, I expounded the scriptures from half-
past eight to ten o’clock. All the meetings are in the
evenings from half-past eight to ten, so that we generally
come home at half-past ten, and go to bed about half-past
eleven. Persons have their supper before they go to the
meetings. On Saturday evening we had again a meeting,
at which I began to give an account of the Lord’s deal-
ings with me, from the beginning, as being the best means
of leading me to speak about many important truths. It
was desired that I should expound the scriptures at all
their usual meetings, i. e. twice on the Lord’s days, and
twice in the week, and on all the other evenings there
should be extra meetings, at which I should give an
account of the Lord’s dealings with me. On the Lord’s
day therefore I expounded twice with much help, feeling
scarcely any difficulty with reference to the German lan-
guage, though I have not before preached in it for fourteen
years and a half. On Monday, Aug. 28th, I went on
again with my Narrative, and last night I expounded
again with much help. But now, as the truth is begin-
ning to be spoken, the devil will also begin to seek to
work. But the Lord Jesus will triumph. There is a
great crisis before us. Several have been already attracted
A.D. 1843.] 521
by the preciousness of the truth, and others already wish
I had never come to Stuttgart. They are not asleep over
what I say, and that gives me pleasure. I fear it will
come in a very few days to a storm, except the Lord prevent.
Nor am I quite sure whether the police will allow me
quietly to work here, when it gets known what I am
doing, as the liberty is not so great as I had thought.
But it would have been worth while to have come here,
only to have spoken these few times. There is now here
on a visit to us an English sister, Mrs. F.
Your affectionate brother,
GEORGE MüLLER.
Immediately on my arrival at Stuttgart, yea, the very
Jirst hour that I was there, so heavy a trial of faith came
upon me, that it was one of the sharpest trials which I
ever have had. The cause of it I am not at liberty to
mention. But so much as this, it was in connexion with
my going to Stuttgart, and, humanly speaking, the thing
would not have occurred, had I not gone thither. The
trial was of a double character, for it was not only the
thing itself, great as the trial of my faith was on that
account, but it was as though the question were put to
me in the strongest way:—Are you willing to make sacri-
fices in connexion with your service here P And do you
really lean upon me, the living God, in your service here?
But thanks to the Lord, Satan did not prevail. My heart
was enabled to say almost immediately:—“All things
work together for good to them that love God.” I know
this also does work together for my good. I know it is
the very best thing for me.—Thus peace was almost im-
mediately restored to me, and I was enabled to leave the
matter quietly in the hands of the Lord. Nor was it
many days before I could say from my in most soul, if even
then I could have had it in my power to alter the thing,
which occasioned the great trial, and the consequences of
which were then still remaining, and were remaining all
the time while I was in Germany, yet I would not have
wished it to be altered. And since my return to England
I have again and again had reason to admire the goodness
of the Lord in having allowed this thing to be as it was,
for it proved in the end in every way good to me. May
the believing Reader leave himself more and more unre-
Y Y 3
522 [A.D. 1843.
servedly in the hands of the Lord, and he will find it to
be just as the writer has found it, i.e. that our greatest
trials often turn out to be our greatest blessings.-Had I
gone, however, in my own strength to Stuttgart, and had
I not been led to treasure up so many petitions in heaven
before I went, I should, in all human probability, have
been quite overcome by this very first trial.
This was not the only trial which befell me there, but
they were so many, so great, and so long continued, that
I required every particle of experience, wisdom, and grace,
humanly speaking, which the Lord had been pleased to
intrust me with. I could not but again and again admire
the wisdom of the Lord in having serit me only in the
year 1843 to Germany, and not several years before, as I
often had been advised to go long before I did. For had
Igone without having the experience which I had gathered
in my service among the saints during the 13; years
previously, and without having had my soul exercised
before God in trials of patience, and hope, and faith, as it
has been since November 1830, humanly speaking, I
should have been overwhelmed. But, as it was, my soul,
through grace, having learned to deal with God about
every thing, I was sustained by casting all my care upon
him, and looking to him for help, and eaſpecting help from
him, though every thing looked dark in every way. And
thus it came, that all the difficulties were overcome one
after another. But more about this when I come to
relate some of the peculiar difficulties in connexion with
my service at Stuttgart.
I also mention here, that during the eight years pre-
vious to my going to Germany to labour there, it had
been laid on my heart, and on the hearts of some other
brethren among us, to ask the Lord that he would be
pleased to honour us, as a body of believers, by calling
forth from our midst brethren, for carrying the truth into
foreign lands. But this prayer seemed to remain un-
answered. Now, however, the time was come when the
Lord was about to answer it, and I, on whose heart par-
ticularly this matter had been laid, was to be the first to
carry forth the truth from among us. About that very
time the Lord called our dear brother and sister Bar-
rington from among us, to go to Demerara, to labour
there in connexion with our esteemed brother Strong, and
A.D. 1843.] 523
our dear brother and sister Espenett, to go to Switzer-
land. Both these dear brethren and sisters left very
shortly after I had gone to Germany. But this was not
all. Our much valued brother Mordal, who had com-
mended himself to the saints by his unwearied faithful
service among us for twelve years, had from Aug. 31,
1843, (the day on which brothers Strong and Barrington
sailed from Bristol for Demerara), his mind likewise
exercised about service there, and went out from among
us eleven months after. He, together with myself, had
had it particularly laid upon his heart, during the eight
years previously, to ask the Lord again and again to call
labourers from among us for foreign service. Of all
persons he, the father of a large family, and about 50 years
of age, seemed the least likely to be called to that work;
but God did call him. He went, laboured a little while
in Demerara, and then, on January 9, 1845, the Lord took
him to his rest.—When we ask God for a thing, such as
that he would be pleased to raise up labourers for his
harvest, or send means for the carrying on of his work,
the honest question to be put to our hearts should be
this: Am I willing to go, if he should call me? Am I
willing to give according to my ability ? For we may be
the very persons whom the Lord will call for the work, or
whose means he may wish to employ.
The Reader will notice, in the preceding letter, that all
the meetings in the evening were very late. The time of
the meetings was one of the many difficulties with which
I had to contend ; for if the times had been on purpose
ill chosen, they could scarcely have been worse. On the
Lord’s day mornings the meetings were at nine; thus the
mothers of families either could not come at all, or had to
hurry through their work, and come without having had
any time to themselves. On the Lord’s day afternoons
they were at two, when the heat of the sun in the summer,
which is most oppressive, and the effect of the dinner,
both combined together to make the persons sleepy, so
that individuals not more than half a yard from me,
though interested about what was going on, were some-
times fast asleep. In the evenings the meetings com-
menced at half-past eight, when persons were not only
worn out from working nearly up to that time, but also,
in general, had just had a heavy supper, which was sure
524 [A.D. 1843.
to make them sleepy, though they might be never so
desirous to listen. But, by the grace of God, none of
these things moved me. I knew the Lord had sent me
to these dear saints, and that, therefore, by his help, I
could overcome all these difficulties. And these difficulties
were overcome ; for after a little while I was able to show
to the dear brethren and sisters that the Lord’s day
morning meeting was too early, and we had it half an
hour later. The Lord's day afternoon meeting at two
o'clock was entirely given up, on account of its being an
unseasonable time, and it being better to have only two
meetings instead of three, as almost every one could
attend two meetings, which was quite enough for one day,
and gave some time for parents to be with their children,
or gave some more time than usual for reading the Scrip-
tures, a point at which I aimed from the beginning. For
when I came to Stuttgart I found it just as I have found
it in some places in England on my first beginning to
labour there, even that the dear brethren and sisters had
little relish for the word of God, and as a proof of this
never referred to it at the meetings; but before I left
Stuttgart I had the joy of seeing either all, or almost all,
having the word of God open before them whilst I was
expounding it.—Instead of the afternoon meeting at two,
we met at four o’clock, when the oppression of the heat
in the summer is not so great as at two, whereby also the
lateness of the evening meeting was avoided on the Lord’s
days. Also on the week evenings we had the meetings
half an hour sooner, that is at 8 o’clock instead of half-
past 8, and I affectionately advised the dear saints to take
a very light supper on those evenings when we met, that
blessing might not be hindered. Earlier than eight on
the week evenings, and later than half-past nine on the
Lord's day mornings, we could not have the meetings, on
account of the habits of the country. It can scarcely be
perceived by brethren in England how great the diffi-
culties are, with which brethren have to contend in many
foreign countries in seeking to spread the truth, not only
on account of the climate, or the police, etc., but also on
account of the habits of the people; so that I would affec-
tionately beseech all, who take a hearty interest in the
spread of the truth, to help by their prayers all who labour
in the word and doctrine in foreign lands, so that through
A.D. 1843.] 525
the power of the Holy Ghost they may be enabled to
overcome all those hinderances.
I now insert my first letter to the brethren in Bristol,
written by me from Stuttgart, soon after my arrival, which
will show to the reader my position there more clearly.
The letter is, with the exception of a very slight verbal
alteration, which I made in revising it for the press, just
as it was written.
Stuttgart, Sept. 7, 1843.
To the Brethren meeting at Bethesda and Salem Chapels,
Bristol.
My dear Brethren,
It was yesterday four weeks since I left Bristol,
and I now write these few lines that you may know how
I am situated in the service on account of which I left
England, in order that thus you may the better be able to
remember me in your prayers, according to my need.
My journey to this place was full of mercies and blessings
in a variety of ways, but I must delay giving you the
particulars, till it may please the Lord to allow me again
the privilege of labouring among you. I arrived at Stutt-
gart on Tuesday evening, Aug. 22. On the next evening
I met the five brethren who labour here in the little
church. On Thursday, Friday, and Saturday also I had
meetings with the little church, at which I either ex-
pounded the Holy Scriptures or communicated to the
brethren things about Bristol, which might be profitable
to them. The following Lord’s day I spoke twice at their
meetings, and in the evening I broke bread in my room
with a few saints, as the Baptist church break bread only
once a month. On Monday and Tuesday evenings I con-
tinued to meet the whole little church. Up to that time
all went on quietly; but I knew well that it was only the
quietness before a storm, and that shortly a hot battle
would commence. And thus it was. On Wednesday
last week, i. e. Aug. 30, I was requested to meet the elders
of the church. When we came together, the brother who
appears to take the lead among them, and who is the only
one who speaks at their meetings, told me that the time
was drawing nigh when the church would take the Lord's
Supper, and that they had a rule which they considered
526 [A.D. 1843.
to be Scriptural, which was, neither to take the Lord's
supper with any one who was not himself baptized by
immersion after he had believed, nor with any one who,
(though thus baptized himself) would take the Lord’s
supper with any who had not thus been baptized. Nor
did they take the Lord's supper with any brother who
would take it with any yet belonging to the state church.
After this brother had stated to me his views, I stated
my own convictions from the Holy Scriptures on these
points, and I was quietly heard for about an hour and a
half whilst I was speaking without interruption. The
Lord was so with me, that when I came home I did not
remember any one thing that I could have wished to have
stated which had not been stated. The whole having
taken up more than two hours, and it being now past ten
o'clock in the evening, we proposed to meet again on the
next day, Thursday afternoon, at five o’clock. We did
so, and several other brethren besides the elders were
present. The subjects were now discussed from the
Scriptures. Brother maintained that no one was
born again except he was baptized, no one had a right to
say his sins were forgiven, except he were baptized, and
also that the apostles were not born again until the day
of Pentecost. Whilst seeking to defend these unscrip-
tural statements, he also affirmed that our Lord himself
had been born again at his baptism, and that the last
three years of his life he had not been under the law, but
had ceased to be under the law when he was baptized. I
had been accustomed during the eight days that I had
been going in and out among the brethren to hear all
sorts of unscriptural statements, into which they had fallen
through layinganundue stress upon baptism,andespecially
through considering baptism as a covenant into which God
enters with the believer; but when now the foundation
truths of the Gospel were also attacked, when of our Holy
Lord it was said that he was born again at his baptism,
(which made him out to be like one of us), and when it
was said that he had not been under the law during the
last three years of his life;—I saw it needful first of all to
see whether we were agreed about the foundation truths
of the Gospel. But as we had now been together from
five to half-past seven in the evening, and as at half-past
eight the public meeting began at which I had to speak,
A.D. 1843.] 527
I proposed to separate and to meet again on Friday
afternoon from five to seven. This was done. I now first
of all pressed the first points. Brother stated in the
presence of the elders and six or seven other brethren,
that he had made an unscriptural statement, and that our
Tord needed not to be born again. I then went to the
other point, whether the Lord was under the law up to
the time when he died on the cross, or only up to the time
when he was baptized. Many passages were brought
forward to show that our Lord was under the law up to
the last moments of his earthly life, which is clear from
Gal. iii. 13, Phil. ii. 8, Heb. x. 1–13, and many other
passages. At last he was convinced about this also and
acknowledged his error. But many other points, equally
unscriptural, he was unwilling to renounce, such as, that
baptism is a covenant with God, and that there cannot be
forgiveness of sins except individuals have been baptized
after believing. He also maintained that I was sinning
in breaking bread with unbaptized believers, and with
those who belong to the state church, and that if the
church here allowed me to break bread with them, they
would be defiled, as I made myself a partaker of the sins
of others, which sins I brought with me ; and other such
unscriptural statements were made by this brother. Thus
we spent again about two hours and a half in intercourse,
whilst this teaching elder and one of the other elders con-
sidered me unfit to take the Lord's supper with them on
the coming Lord’s day, but the two other elders and
several other brethren who were present were quite ready
to break bread with me, and with any who love our Lord
Jesus. Brother now said, There must be a separa-
tion. I then entreated the brethren not to think of a
separation. I represented to them what a scandal it
would be to the ungodly, and what a stumbling block also
to the believers who are yet in the state church. I further
told them that I had not come to Stuttgart to make a
separation between the brethren, but only to lend them a
helping hand according to the ability which the Lord
might give me. I lastly said: As we have now spent
more than six hours together in intercourse, let us meet
together to-morrow evening some hours for prayer. To
this the brethren agreed, and we accordingly met on
Saturday evening at eight o'clock for prayer. The subject
528 [A.D. 1843.
of our prayer was, that the Lord would be pleased to unite
us together in the truth, and make it manifest on which
side the truth was. After we had thus prayed for about
two hours, brother prayed at the end, and related
(in what he called prayer) his experience before his con-
version, his conversion, his being convinced about baptism,
my coming to Stuttgart, his readiness to receive the un-
baptized in consequence of my intercourse with him, and
how them a great horror had befallen him, and that now
he had come back to his former view, only to receive the
baptized, and how now his peace had been restored to
him, and that he purposed to live and die in this belief.
"When we arose I told him that the Lord himself had
decided the matter, and had shown on whose side the
truth was: for that he, if in peace, as he had said, could
not thus have related his experience, and called it prayer.
This prayer tended greatly to show the other brethren
that he has not the truth.-I should have stated that I
said to the brethren at the commencement of this meet-
ing, that, as I and my wife were the only persons on
whose account they could not break bread on the coming
day, and as nothing ought to be done in a hurry, to
whatever conclusion they might come, we would gladly
withdraw ourselves, and break bread in our room. This
was not accepted, as there was much disunion among the
brethren, as they told me, and had been before I came,
and that my coming had now only brought matters to a
point. I stated once more, at the end of the meeting on
Saturday evening, Sept. 2, that we ought to dread a sepa-
ration, and that we ought to pray that we might be of
one mind, and that I was ready to meet them by day or
by night for prayer or searching the word on the subject.
Thus we separated. The next morning, Sept. 3, I spoke
again at the meeting, having been by all the elders re-
quested at my arrival here to expound the Scriptures at
all their meetings, or to communicate to them any thing
that might be profitable. On this morning I spoke prin-
cipally on the Lord's supper, and on what fits for it ; on
what is meant by feeding upon Jesus, and what fits for it;
on the point that it is not a part of truth, but Jesus
round whom believers should unite together; and on the
truth that if any one is a believer he is entitled to all the
privileges of the saints. These points I had not chosen
A.D. 1843.] 529
on purpose for that morning, but they came in course in
speaking on Exodus xii., on which chapter I had spoken
four times before. After I had finished, I was going to
pray at the close, when I was interrupted by brother 2
the principal and teaching elder (as to outward authority).
He stated that he must contradict me, for I had said: 1,
The bread and wine in the Lord’s supper meant the body
and blood of our Lord, whilst, as he believed and as the
word said, it was the real body and blood of our Lord. 2,
He believed that as circumcision made a man an Israelite,
and fitted him thus for the partaking of the Paschal Lamb,
so without baptism no one is fitted to partake of the
Lord’s supper, which is set forth by the Paschal Lamb;
whilst I had said that every one who believes in Jesus
was by this his faith made a spiritual Israelite, and had a
right to the Lord's supper and to all the privileges of the
children of God. He stated further, that this was against
the rules of their church, and that, as I took the Lord’s
supper with unbaptized believers, and with those who had
not quite left the state church, I made myself partaker of
their sins, and that therefore, as being defiled with these
sins, I could not be admitted to the Lord’s supper. From
the commencement of his speaking he was very irritated,
but now continued in a passionate way: I am ruler in
this church, and you (addressing himself to me) are no
longer permitted to speak at our meetings. Moreover he
said, “Whosoever takes the Lord’s supper with Müller
will no longer be considered as a member of the church;”
and then in anger he left the meeting. Turing all this
time, the Lord, in the riches of his grace, kept me in
perfect peace and calmness. I answered brother
not a single word. When he was gone I fell upon my
knees, asked the Lord’s blessing upon the word which I
had spoken, asked the Lord to forgive brother , and
to teach me what I should do now. After this I dismissed
the meeting. When all was over, one of the elders,
brother R., one who seeks after truth, and rejoices in the
true liberty which the Lord enables me to preach, and one
who has been sighing under the iron hand of brother
for a long time; this brother, I say, requested me before
all, according to the first arrangement, to continue the
meetings and to tell them all that might be profitable to
Z Z
530 [A.D. 1843.
them. He was, however, immediately interrupted by
another elder, who sees with brother , and told that
he had no right to do so. I then stated again that I had
only come from England in love, and that I would not
force myself upon them. I then left.—By the time of
the afternoon meeting I had received light from the Lord
that I should not go to the meeting. I saw that as I had
been cast out, together with all the other brethren who
owned me as a brother, and as all my tenderness in seek-
ing to avoid a separation had been useless, I had now on
the other hand to go steadfastly forward, leaving it with
the Lord to decide on whose side the truth was. I there-
fore remained at home. The two elders who were won
for the truth, went to the meeting in the afternoon, at
which brother sought to disprove what I had said,
and after the meeting they stated that they were
purposed to own me and all who believe in the Lord
Jesus as brethren in the breaking of bread.—On the same
evening seventeen of us met in my room for the breaking
of bread, as we were in peace; of these seventeen twelve
were belonging to this little Baptist church, two Swiss
brethren, one English sister, my wife and I. We had a
peaceful meeting. Thus the Lord so soon, so unexpect-
edly, has brought the matter to a point, though in a
painful way. The matter would be, however, more pain-
ful, did I not see it of great importance that the disciples
who hold the truth should be separate from those who
hold such fearful errors as: The forgiveness of sins received
through baptism; baptism a covenant between us and God;
regeneration through baptism and no regeneration without
it ; the actual death of the old man through baptism, it
being drowned, so that only the body and the new nature
are alive ; and many other fearful errors, to which these
poor deluded brethren have been led by laying such undue
stress upon baptism. As to poor brother , he had
denied some months since the inspiration of Luke, the
Acts, and the Epistle of James, which point he only gave
up when several brethren stated that they must leave on
that account, and he has fallen into many other grievous
errors; but there has been no one who has had sufficient
spiritual courage steadfastly to resist him. Now there is
joy with many that the Lord has set them free.—Cn
A.D. 1843.] 531
Monday last, Sept. 4th, I had again a meeting with the
brethren and sisters whose eyes the Lord has opened, and
others also came, not belonging to this Baptist church.
On Wednesday I had again a meeting, and to-day, Sept. 8,
and to-morrow evening I purpose to meet the brethren
again.--All is only a beginning. But there is a beginning.
That which I longed for, the chief object of my journey to
the Continent, that there might be also in Germany a
little living church, but based on Scriptural principles,
which might be a light to other places; the beginning of
that has now been made, but it is a small beginning.
The minds of the dear brethren have been so darkened
through this mixture of error and truth, that about every
thing they need instruction. However, the Lord will
help further. I am of good cheer, because I know that
the Lord is on my side, and that he has sent me here, and
that he keeps me here. How gladly would I leave this
very day, were it his will; but I know that at present I
ought to labour here.—I have so circumstantially and
minutely related all to you, that you may the better know
how to help me with your prayers. The errors and sins
of our brother I have only related, that you the
more clearly may see how my coming here is of God, in
order that these dear children of God, who have suffered
so much for the Lord’s sake, and who are sincere, though
in much error, might be led on and delivered out of these
snares of the devil. But many, unaccustomed to examine
Scripture, hold fast the former ways: yet those, who are
sincere, the Lord will deliver after awhile. How long I
may continue here, I know not ; but the moment I see
the Lord’s leading to England, I shall be delighted to go
back. At present my temptation is not to stay longer
than I ought to stay; but rather to leave sooner than I
ought to leave. Help me, therefore, dear brethren, that
I may be willing to do and suffer all the will of God here.
As to further particulars, the Lord willing, you shall have
them either verbally or by writing. Should any of you
like to write to me or my dear wife, we shall be glad to
hear from you; and if the letters be written on thin
paper and left at my house, they will be forwarded to me.
We remember you daily in our prayers, as you also, no
doubt, remember us. May the Lord bring us in his own
Z Z 2
532 [A.D. 1843.
time again together in peace. Pray earnestly for all the
brethren who labour among you. My dear wife salutes
you. The saints here salute you.
I am, dear brethren,
Affectionately your brother and servant,
GEORGE MüLLER.
I make the following remarks in connexion with this
letter.
I. In the beginning it is mentioned, that on the even-
ing of the day after my arrival Imet with the five brethren
who laboured in the Baptist church at Stuttgart, that is
with the teaching elder or president, the three other
elders, and the brother who acted as deacon. At this very
meeting, nay at the very commencement even of this
meeting, I saw what a difficult position mine would be,
and what abundant help I should need from God. That
which led me to think so was this. Turing the day that
I had been at Stuttgart I had perceived, that all the
brethren and sisters called one another “Thou,” which is
in Germany the sign of great familiarity, and which is
used between very intimate friends, or between parents
and children, or husband and wife, or brothers and sisters
of the same family, etc. Here now I found that males
and females of all ages and different stations in life called
one another “Thou.” When I therefore met with those
five brethren I stated the substance of the following ob-
jections against this practice, not however in the form of
objections, but either in the way of affectionate inquiries
or brotherly suggestions. My objections against it were
these: 1, I did not think it would have, in general, a
desirable effect upon believers of different sexes to speak
to one another thus in the way of so great familiarity. 2,
I did not think it would work well for brethren and sisters
in service to speak thus to their master and mistress,
especially if it should happen that the mistress was an un-
believer, and therefore not in fellowship with them, and a
sister were as a servant to say to her master “Thou.” 3,
I thought it would not work happily and healthfully for a
very young brother and sister to be expected to call aged
brethren and sisters “Thou,” as if on terms of great
familiarity, from the moment they were baptized and thus
A.D. 1843.] 533
received among them into fellowship. 4, But that which
far more strongly operated upon my mind than any of
the previous reasons was this, It seemed to me to substi-
tute an outward form for the inward power and reality.
I stated to them, That if the calling one another “Thou.”
were the result of realizing that all the children of
God have one and the selfsame Father in heaven, that
they are really and not nominally only brothers and sisters
of the same heavenly family, and heirs of the same pre-
cious inheritance, and bought by the same precious blood
of the Lord Jesus; if it were the result of these truths
being enjoyed and realized within, I should see not the
least reason against it, in general; but I feared that it
was merely an outward thing, judging from the fact, that
however it might have been with a brother and sister pre-
viously, the moment they were baptized they were called
“Thou’” by every one of their number, and they were
expected to call every one “Thou” in return. And I
judged it to be a pernicious thing, if thus the “Thou” was
Jorced upon persons; for on the part of those who were
comparatively high in life it would be considered sooner
or later an unpleasant burden, and on the part of the
poorer classes it would lead to carnal gratification in being
able to treat those in the way of great familiarity who were
considerably above them with reference to this life. The
thing itself, then, if done from right motives, from the
entering into our position as saints with reference to God
and to each other, would be most precious; but the thing
done, merely because it was customary among them, and
observed in order to keep up uniformity, would work most
perniciously.—In reply to my remarks of this kind, it was
stated, that the use of the word “Thou’ was scriptural,
that in the Holy Scriptures we never read, when one
single person is spoken to, “You,” but always “Thou.”
To this I answered that it was so, but that we must re-
member that in the Holy Scriptures we find governors
and kings addressed by poor men in the term “Thou ;”
for this was the only form of speech in use, whilst in
Germany, where the “Thou ’’ is not used except to denote
near natural relationship or familiarity, it ought not to be
used, except there be that inwardly corresponding to
what we outwardly seek to convey by the term ; else it
will lead to formality, if not to hypocrisy, and sooner or
Z Z 3
534 [A.D. 1843.
later the pernicious tendency of this outward thing, to
which there is nothing inwardly corresponding, will most
surely be felt. It appeared to me far better not to make
any profession of familiarity and intimacy by the use of
the “Thou,” when the heart does not go along with it,
and rather to continue to say to one another “You’’ till
there be the drawing of heart to heart by the love of
Jesus, than to force the “Thou” upon the brethren and
sisters. I felt the more strongly about this, as I had wit-
nessed more than once among believers in England the
injurious effects of doing things because others did them,
or because it was the custom, or because they were per-
suaded into acts of outward self-denial, or giving up things
whilst the heart did not go along with it, and whilst the
outward act was NOT the result of the inward powerful
working of the Holy Ghost, and the happy entering into
our fellowship with the Father and with the Son. I had
seen, when these things had been done from Wrong motives,
that there had been regret afterwards, and the return-
ing back as much as possible to what had been given up
or forsaken. Moreover, though I had been only one day
in Stuttgart when we had this meeting, yet I had heard
enough of the state of things, to make me think the calling
one another “Thou” was in many instances a mere out-
ward form.—My brotherly suggestions were not received,
but strongly opposed by two or three out of the five
brethren, and it was pretty plainly hinted, that perhaps I
was too proud to be called “Thou;” and the moment I
perceived that, I said that I wished every brother, the very
poorest of them, to call me “Thou” (and I encouraged
them in doing so, by calling every one “Thou”), but that
I could not, with my light, call any of the sisters “Thou,”
nor did I do so up to the day of my departure.
There was another thing of the same character, that is
the kiss. In Germany, as on the Continent generally, the
kiss is the sign of affection and familiarity among men as
well as among females, and the brethren and sisters at
Stuttgart always had been in the habit of kissing one
another after having partaken of the Lord's supper, that
is, all the brethren had kissed each other, and all the sisters
had kissed each other. Now this again, if the result of
real inward affection, and springing from the entering into
our heavenly relationship and oneness in Christ Jesus,
A.D. 1843.] 535
would be most beautiful, and would be the “holy kiss” of
which the Apostle Paul speaks; but I had no reason to
believe that this was generally the case among the brethren
and sisters at Stuttgart, but rather that it was merely the
Tesult of custom and form, and that it was done because it
was expected to be done, for it was the church's order
after the Lord’s supper to kiss one another. It was on
this ground that it seemed to me to be most pernicious;
and I could have known how it would work, even though
I had not been actually told, that sometimes sisters had
stayed away from the Lord's supper, because they did not
feel comfortable in kissing all the female members of the
church. When therefore I began to break bread with the
brethren, after we had been separated by the close baptists,
I did not kiss one brother after the breaking of bread;
but I made a point of it to kiss every one of them on that
very day at a later meeting, when I left them to go to my
lodgings, in order that no one might be able to say it was
pride or want of love in me that I had not kissed them.
Thus I did on the second Lord’s day, and on the third.
On the fourth Lord's day a brother said, after the break-
ing of bread, Brethren shall we give one another the bro-
therly kiss, and I was then ready at once, like the rest to
kiss all the brethren ; but the next time there was no
kissing, and thus the mere cold form was banished, and
every brother felt free to kiss another brother when his
heart bad him to do so, without being bound to it by
custom or form.
I have so circumstantially dwelt on these apparently
little things, because I think them, in principle, matters
of the deepest importance. Every thing that is a mere
form, a mere habit and custom in divine things, is to be
dreaded exceedingly : life, power, reality, this is what we
have to aim after. Things should not result from without,
but from within. The sort of clothes I wear, the kind of
house I live in, the quality of the furniture I use, all such
like things should not result from other persons doing so
and so, or because it is customary among those brethren
with whom I associate to live in such and such a simple,
inexpensive, self-denying way; but whatever be done in
these things, in the way of giving up, or self-denial, or
deadness to the world, should result from the joy we have
in God, from the knowledge of our being the children of
536 [A.D. 1843.
God, from the entering into the preciousness of our future
inheritance, etc. Far better that for the time being we
stand still, and do not take the steps which we see others
take, than that it is merely the force of example that leads
us to do a thing, and afterwards it be regretted. Not that
I mean in the least by this to imply we should continue
to live in luxury, self-indulgence, and the like, whilst
others are in great need; but we should begin the thing
in a right way, i. e. aim after the right state of heart;
begin inwardly instead of outwardly. If otherwise, it will
not last. We shall look back, or even get into a worse
state than we were before. But oh! how different if joy
in God leads us to any little act of self-denial. How gladly
do we do it then How great an honour then do we
esteem it to be How much does the heart then long to
be able to do more for him who has done so much for us!
We are far then from looking down in proud self-compla-
cency upon those who do not go as far as we do, but rather
pray to the Lord that he would be pleased to help our
dear brethren and sisters forward who may seem to us
weak in any particular point; and we also are conscious
to ourselves, that if we have a little more light or strength
with reference to one point, other brethren may have more
light or grace in other respects.
II. It may be asked, Whether I consider brother
, with all his errors, his fearful errors, to be a bro-
ther. My reply is, that so far as my own personal
acquaintance is concerned, I am not able to form a judg-
ment about it ; but from all I have heard about his
godly life formerly for many years, I think there is very
much reason to believe that he is a child of God. I have
related all this and made it public (which I naturally greatly
dislike, on account of brother being my brother, and
therefore his sin is my own shame), in order that other
children of God may be profited by it. There are two
most instructive points connected with the history of the
Baptist church at Stuttgart and of our brother in
particular.
1, These children of God had been right in considering
believers' baptism to be Scriptural, and in separating from
the state church of Wirtemberg. But upon these two
points they had laid undue stress. Though believers’
baptism is the truth of God; though separation from
A.D. 1843.] 537
state churches on the part of children of God who know
that a church is “a congregation of believers” is right,
because they see in state churches nothing but the world
mixed up with some true believers; yet if these points
are made too much of, if they are put out of their proper
place, as if they were every thing, then there must be
spiritual loss suffered by those who do so. Nay, whatever
part of truth is made too much of, though they were
even the most precious truths connected with our being
risen in Christ, or our heavenly calling, or prophecy,
Sooner or later those who lay an undue stress upon these
parts of truth, and thus make them too prominent, will
be losers in their own souls, and, if they be teachers, they
will injure those whom they teach. That was the case at
Stuttgart. Baptism and separation from the state
church had at last become almost every thing to these
dear brethren. “We are the church. Truth is only to
be found among us. All others are in error, and in
Babylon.” These were the phrases used again and again
by our brother But God never allows this state of
things without chastisement. This spiritual pride had led
from one error to another. Oh may it be a warning to
me and to all believers who may read this, and may God
in mercy give and preserve to them and to me a lowly
heart!
2, Another thing, on account of which the church at
Stuttgart is a warning, is this: When these dear brethren
left the state church of the Kingdom of Wirtemberg, on
account of which they had many trials, they did not meet
together in dependance upon the Holy Spirit, but they
took some Baptist church, whether in H or E I
know not, for a model, and there was to be a teaching
elder among them. Instead of being content to own
their weakness, and give themselves to prayer that the
Lord would be pleased to give them a teacher, brother
becomes their teaching elder, and this having been
done, he alone speaks at all the meetings (with few ex-
ceptions). Now, as his own mind laid such an undue
stress upon baptism, and as there was no free working of
the Holy Spirit, so that any other brother might have
brought out at their meetings what the Lord might have
laid upon his heart, what could there have been expected
otherwise than that after a time the whole noble little
538 [A.D. 1843.
band of disciples, who had taken so trying a stand as to
be separated from the state church, should become un-
sound in the faith. May God grant unto us to be profited
by it, dear believing reader, so that in our own church
position we do our utmost to give to the Holy Spirit free
and unhindered opportunity to work by whom he will!
I have related all these things, painful as they were to
me when I was in them, and painful as they are now to
me in the remembrance, if it may please God to make
them a warning to other dear children of God.
. . Stuttgart, Oct. 14, 1843.
To the saints, meeting in the name of Jesus, at Bethesda
and Salem Chapels, Bristol.
My dear Brethren,
I have judged that your love to the Lord and to
me will make you desirous of knowing further particulars
about the work here, and I write therefore a little con-
cerning the state of things here.—Since the date of my
last letter I have sought to instruct the dear brethren,
who had been led by the Lord to own me as a brother with
whom they could and ought to have fellowship, and who,
therefore, had been disowned by those with whom they
had formerly been associated. The state of things con-
cerning the others, who think they do God service in the
way in which they treat us, is very affecting. They not
only keep entirely aloof from our meetings, but with
those of our number, whom they consider seducers and
perverters of the truth, they will not speak, nor greet us
again when they are greeted. In this state of things
nothing remained for us but to speak to the Lord about
them, and I, therefore, proposed last week, that we should
have especial prayer meetings for these dear, but awfully
deluded, brethren. This was heartily responded to, and
we now meet from time to time for especial prayer on
their behalf. I mention this that you may help us with
your prayers in this particular also. The iron rule, and
the want of being able to exercise spiritual judgment is
so felt, that only one of the brethren and sisters in the
neighbouring little towns and villages, who belonged to
the Baptist Church, has ventured to meet with us; but
amidst it all I am in peace, knowing that the Lord him-
A.D. 1843.] 539
self sent me here, and that the truth at last will assuredly
triumph. Indeed I know that except these brethren own
the sin of which they have been guilty against me, the
Holy Spirit, who has been grieved, will not work among
them, and the spiritual death among them will open the
eyes of the upright ones. Such an instance came before
me last week, when a sister of the Baptist Church came
to our meetings, and said that she could not remain any
longer where she was, as it was as if God had departed
from them. We now meet every Lord’s day morning
from nine to eleven, for the exposition of the word, and
from four to six in the afternoon for the breaking of bread.
On Tuesday and Thursday evenings, from eight till nearly
ten, I expound the scriptures, and on Wednesday and
Friday evenings, from eight to ten, I meet with the bre-
thren to read the scriptures. There is the greatest
teachableness among the dear saints with whom I meet,
but just because they have been so long fed with error
instead of truth, they need to be taught almost every
thing. But hitherto the Lord has so helped me, and so
made the dear brethren willing to bow before the word of
God, that we have gone on most happily, and without any
disagreement. The last five meetings of this kind we
have spent in considering the truths contained in Romans
xii., Ephes. iv., 1 Cor. xii and xiv., &c. They are now
gaining light in apprehending the presence and power of
the Holy Spirit in the church, and his indwelling in every
individual believer, together with the practical application
of these truths; and I cannot but hope, that if the Lord,
even now at once, were to remove me from them, they
would be able to witness in some measure for God, with
regard to their church position. Dut even these truths
will take up several such evenings yet, in order that the
dear brethren not only may be grounded in them, but
also be profited by my experience in these particulars
during the last thirteen years, that they may not fall into
the same errors, or be exposed to the same difficulties.
When that subject is done with, I have to undertake
another work, perhaps as difficult as any I have had since
I have been here, and I mention it to you, that you may
help me with your prayers, that the Lord would be
pleased to give me his especial help in that matter also.
I understand that all the dear precious saints with whom
540 [A.D. 1843.
I meet, have fallen into the awful error, spread almost
universally among even true believers in this country,
that at last all men will be saved, and even the devils
themselves. This awful error I must attack as soon as
the subject which we now consider is finished, but pray
earnestly that the Lord would give me such spiritual
power, as that these dear brethren may be brought,
through God's truth, out of this delusion also. I hope
in God concerning this matter. He will help me. He
has in so many ways made it so abundantly plain that he
himself sent me here, that he will help me in this matter
also. —Last Lord’s day we were twenty in number at the
breaking of bread, including my dear wife and myself;
among them was the first fruit of my labours here, in the
way of conversion. She is a young lady of nineteen
years, the daughter of the procurator of the upper tribu-
mal, Dr. R., one of the former elders of the Baptist
Church, who for my sake was cast out. This young sister
was baptized about four miles from here, in a river, about
eight o’clock in the evening, by moonlight, as the dear
brethren feared the tumult and concourse of the opposers
in the day time. I advised her father to baptize her, in
order that at once, even in this respect, there might be
nothing in the judgment of the dear saints, as if a minis-
terial person, according to the use of the word in the
world, were needed, and also that thus the attention of
the police might not needlessly be directed towards me, as
they are so particularly opposed to baptism. Hitherto I
have been left unmolested and unhindered, although I
have been nearly eight weeks here, and although it is be-
coming known throughout the city, and beginning also to
spread throughout the country that I am here.—The work
still remains small as to outward appearance, as generally,
besides the believers in fellowship, there are not more
than about ten or twelve persons present, but I dare not
take a large place to meet in, humanly speaking, and
judging from what hitherto has been always done, but I
must go on quietly instructing the saints, or preaching to
the few sinners who come, in the hope that God, through
my instructing the brethren, will open the eyes and hearts
of others, after I have left. There is one brother among
us, who learned the way of God more perfectly in Swit-
zerland, and who often had spoken about it, before I came,
A.D. 1843.] 541
but who was neither much listened to, nor received into
fellowship, because he was not baptized.—In the mean
time I also go on with preparing my Narrative in the
German language for the press, having found out that
there is sufficient freedom of the press here to allow of
my getting it printed; but I make but little progress, as
my time is, in a variety of ways, here also taken up, and
as I have too little mental strength to continue very long
at a time working with my pen. Nevertheless, I have
about the fifth part ready for the press. I am more and
more assured that Germany needs my service in this re-
spect, and that the Lord has called me for this work.
About the time of my return to you I can say nothing,
as the Lord has not given me any light concerning it; but
this I must say, that my wife and myself shall consider it
a happy day indeed, when the Lord allows us to see you
again. But, his servants we are, and we desire grace to
tarry as cheerfully here, as we shall be glad to go back to
Bristol, when the Lord sends us back. Only help us in
the mean time with your prayers, (as we also pray for
you), that the Lord would enable us in this dark land to
glorify his holy name. Farewell, greatly beloved brethren.
My heart longs after you to behold you again; yet I am
happy here, and will cheerfully wait the Lord’s own time
here. I repeat, that if any of you have it in your heart
to write to us, and will leave the letters at my house, they
will be forwarded to me. My dear wife sends her love in
Christ to all the dear brethren and sisters.
Your affectionate brother and servant in the Lord,

GEORGE MüLLER.
I make again a few remarks in connexion with this
letter. g
I, One of my especial aims in my service among the
dear brethren at Stuttgart was, to seek to ground them in
the truth. To this end we had, from the beginning of
our being separated from the Baptist Church, two meet-
ings in the week, from eight to ten o’clock in the evening,
when we considered together, upon the ground of the
word of God, those points of truth on which these dear
brethren appeared to me most to need instruction. I
judged it not enough to expound the Scriptures at their
public meetings, but to give an opportunity to any bro.
A. A. A.
542 [A.D. 1843.
ther or sister, at these private meetings, to state any
difficulties that they might have on their minds. At first
we considered particularly the great truths of the gospel,
so that any remaining errors, connected with fundamental
points, might be corrected. After that we began the con-
sideration of Romans xii. 3–8, Ephes. iv. 7–16, 1 Cor.
xii. and xiv., and the other passages which stand in con-
nexion with the truths taught in these portions. The
brethren had seen almost immediately that, according to
the example of the first disciples (Acts xx. 7), it would
become us to meet every first day of the week for the break-
ing of bread. Thus far they had light, and that light, I
judged, ought to be carried out at once. We therefore
from the beginning met every Lord’s day for the breaking
of bread, with the exception of two or three who had for a
few weeks some little doubt remaining on their mind,
whether, on account of the frequency of the observance,
this ordinance might not lose its beneficial effects; but as
we left them free, to act according to the light they had,
they soon saw the greatness of the privilege of being
allowed so often to show forth the Lord’s death, and they
therefore met regularly with us.-As, however, on my ar-
rival at Stuttgart, the dear brethren had been entirely un-
instructed about the truths relating to the power and pre-
sence of the Holy Ghost in the church of Christ, and to
our ministering one to another as fellow members in the
body of Christ; and as I had known enough of painful con-
sequences when brethren began to meet professedly in
dependance upon the Holy Spirit without knowing what
was meant by it, and thus meetings had become opportu-
nities for unprofitable talking rather than for godly edify-
Žng; and as I felt myself bound to communicate to these
dear brethren the experience I had gathered with reference
to these very truths since June 1830: for these reasons, I
say, I thought it well to spend evening after evening with
them over the passages above mentioned. Thus week after
week passed away. We broke bread, but it was under-
stood, and I wished it to be understood, that I was the only
speaker. This I did that in every possible way I might
have opportunity of instructing the brethren, and because
they knew not yet what was meant by meeting in depen-
dance upon the Holy Spirit. But, at length, after we had
for about eight weeks or more spent two evenings a week
A.D. 1843.] 543
together over those passages, and others, setting forth the
same truths, and full opportunity had been given, care-
fully to look at all the points connected with them, and
when now there seemed a measure of apprehension of the
mind of God in those passages, then we met for the pur-
pose of carrying out what the brethren had learned, and
therefore at the next time when we met for the breaking
of bread I took my place among them simply as a brother;
yet as a brother who had received a measure of gift for the
benefit of his fellow members, and upon whom therefore
responsibility was laid to use that measure of gift, and who,
by the grace of God, felt this responsibility laid upon him,
and who was willing to act accordingly, I do not mean
at all to say that even then this matter was perfectly
understood, for a few times still things like these would
occur :—A brother read a portion of the word, and then
would say, “Perhaps our brother Müller will expound to
us this portion.” Or, a brother might speak a little on a
subject, and then would say, “Perhaps our brother Müller
will enter somewhat more fully into this subject.” At
such times, which occurred twice or thrice, I said nothing,
but acted according to the desire of those brethren, and
spoke; but afterwards, when we met privately, at our
scripture reading meetings, I pointed out to the dear
brethren their mistake, and reminded them that all these
matters ought to be left to the ordering of the Holy Ghost,
and that if it had been truly good for them, the Lord
would have not only led me to speak at that time, but also
on the very subject on which they desired that I should
speak to them.
II, At these scripture reading meetings, of which I had
about forty with them, we went on very peacefully and
happily, though I had many things to bring before the
brethren which were quite new to them, and some points
also to which they had been exceedingly opposed. The
Lord enabled me to seek his help for this service, and he
granted it to me.
III, I never had a moment's hesitation in owning these
brethren, and meeting with them at the breaking of
bread; for I could not say of one of them that they wil-
fully held those errors, but that it rather arose from the
truth never having been brought before them. I there-
fore judged, that it was my duty to seek to instruct them
A. A. A 2.
544 [A.D. 1843.
in the truth, and then they would be led to renounce their
error’S.
TV, I had from the beginning great hope that the dear
brethren would be brought out of their fearful errors. I
never was overwhelmed by the prospect of the difficulties
before me, but had confidence in God that through him I
should conquer. My assurance was built on the following
grounds: 1, I considered the remarkable way in which so
unexpectedly, and after the overcoming of so many diffi-
culties which had been in the way, I was sent to them.
I therefore judged that the Lord had sent me to them for
blessing. 2, He had given me grace to pray much for the
Saints at Stuttgart before I had ever seen them, and he
helped me to continue in prayer for them whilst with them.
This I judged was, in order that he might answer my
request on their behalf. 3, They were not like persons who
had had the truth set before them and wilfully rejected it,
but they had never had it set before them. 4, The Lord,
in his grace, enabled me to deal patiently with them.
They were deeply entangled in error, very deeply. Press-
ing things hastily upon them, I knew, would only make
matters worse; but patiently hearing all their objections;
meeting time after time over the word, and seeking the
Lord’s blessing in prayer on those meetings both before
and after, being willing not to press a point too much at
once, but giving time to the Holy Ghost to work upon
their hearts; dealing thus with them, even as the Lord had
inclined my heart, I judged that he would give me the
desire of my heart, and deliver them out of their fearful
€rr’OTS.
V, I cannot help noticing here the strange mistake
under which the religious public was, with reference to my
being at Stuttgart. It was this: Some weeks after my
arrival the report was spread, and widely too, (for it was
printed in one of the religious periodicals), that I was
a Missionary sent by the Baptists in England to bring
back the Baptists in Wirtemberg to the State Church, as
it was the view of the Baptists in England that it was not
wrong to be united with the State Church. This having
been stated in print, (though I knew not of it till I was
on the point of returning to England), my stay at Stutt-
gart, I suppose, was rather liked by religious persons in
connexion with the State Church, and it is not at all un-

A.D. 1843.] 545
likely that that may have contributed to my being per-
mitted to work quietly week after week, and month after
month, without the police in the least interfering with me,
though it not only was well known that I was there, but
well known too what I was doing in the way of holding
meetings, etc. I recognize the hand of the Lord in allow-
ing this mistake to be made.
VI, For many weeks the number of those who frequented
the meetings was very small. Very few, besides those
who were in communion with us, attended them. The
highly sectarian and exclusive spirit which had been mani-
fested by those brethren who belonged to the Baptist
Church was a great hinderance in our way; for it was natu-
rally supposed that we were of the same mind with them.
But after nearly five months had passed away, there began
to be a different effect produced. The number of those
who attended increased, and increased to more than twice
or thrice as many as used to come at first, and, humanly
speaking, had I seen it to be the Lord’s will to remain one
month longer, the result might have been still greater.
But as I saw as clearly the time of my departure from
Stuttgart as that of my going thither, I was not influenced
by any outward appearance; for I felt certain that, for
various reasons, I ought to return to my service in Bris-
tol.—In this circumstance also I cannot but see the hand
of God. Had the meetings all at once been much attended
in the beginning, it might have attracted the attention of
the police, and possibly a ticket of permission to reside
any longer at Stuttgart might not have been granted to
me; but as it was, there was nothing whatever outwardly
to attract the notice of the world, for we were few in
number, met in a very poor neighbourhood, and in a poor
meeting place, and I had thus opportunity to instruct the
Saints.
Stuttgart, Nov. 11, 1843.
To the Brethren meeting in the name of Jesus, at Salem
and Bethesda Chapels, Bristol.
Dear Brethren,
I have judged that it might be profitable to you,
with the Lord's blessing, to hear again a few particulars of
his work here, and I have also thought that the love you
bear me will make you desirous to know how I am, and
what the Lord is doing with me: and therefore I again
A. A. A 3
546 [A.D. 1843.
write you a little, which is no burden to me, but a sweet
pleasure. Yet I assure you, dear brethren, I need not
write to you, in order that I may be reminded of you, for
I think of you daily, and pray daily for you, as I am sure
you do for us; and it will, indeed, be a sweet pleasure to
us and joy in the Lord, to behold your faces again; but, in
the meantime, we desire grace not to feel ourselves as in
banishment, but so to realize, that this is our present place
of service, and so to walk with Jesus, that we may be very
happy, even now, though so far, and for so long a time
absent from you. It is now thirteen weeks and three days
since I left Bristol, but I have not during all this time,
even for one single minute, been permitted to question
whether the conclusion, that I should serve the Lord for a
season in this country, was of him or not ; but during all
this time, as also many weeks before I left Bristol, my heart
has had the fullest assurance concerning this matter. It
has been also very kind of the Lord, that he has not even
suffered me to be tempted, through a great variety of try-
ing events, which might have occurred either here or in
Bristol, to question my call for this service; but, on the
contrary, every day’s experience almost, here, confirms my
mind, and every letter from Bristol also shows, how that
God’s finger is in this matter. And thus, my dear brethren,
it must be always, when we are taking any step according
to the will of the Lord: the result must be peace and bless-
ing. I desire therefore quietly to tarry here, till the same
Lord who put me at this post, shall call me away from it.
—I now enter upon the narrative of a few facts which I
wish to communicate to you, that you may be led yet more
highly to prize the spiritual privileges, and especially the
religious liberty, which you enjoy in England.—About
nineteen months since a brother and sister here, who were
connected with the little Baptist Church, (the only body
of believers in this country who are separated from the
State Church,) desired to be united by marriage. As they
had conscientious objections to be married according to the
usage of the State Church, a statement was sent to the
director of this city, the first magistrate, in which this
brother and sister expressed their desire, and declared that
they would submit themselves to everything to which they
could with a good conscience, such as having their names
three times publicly called at the church, paying the cler-
A.D. 1843.] 547
gyman's fees, &c., but that they could not conform to the
marriage ceremony at the church, and they therefore begged
to be exempted from this; and they finally claimed for this
the rights of the subjects of the kingdom of Wirtemberg,
to whom full liberty of conscience is granted by the con-
stitution of the Government. After a time they received
a complete denial to this request from the Ecclesiastical
court, called the Consistory. They now gave in a full
statement of their views, why they left the State Church,
why they could not conform to the marriage ceremony in
the State Church, &c., and sent this statement, if I remem-
ber right, to the highest court,the ministry of the kingdom.
It was again refused. And so also by the king himself.
Many months had in the meantime elapsed, and the pa-
tience of the brother and sister at last began to fail, and
as the sister (at that time) saw scarcely any objection to
be married at the church, the brother was at last overcome,
and he went and gave in the banns at the church. This
was in the middle of June last summer. The nearer, how-
ever, the marriage day came, the more tried the brother
felt, and all peace left him. At last he came to the con-
clusion to leave himself quite in the hands of the Lord
while in the church, and to do no more than he could do
with a good conscience, yet he did not know anything de-
finite, nor did he tell his intended wife anything. He asked
the brethren with whom he was in fellowship to pray for
him, who accordingly met at the time when he was to be
married. It was on a Lord’s day afternoon after the public
service, and several hundreds of people had remained.
The clergyman, a believer, who, no doubt, knew of the
former expressed conscientious objection of this brother
and sister, did not at all use the printed liturgy, but only
gave, as I hear, a scriptural address as the occasion called
for, which our brother found profitable. After this the
brother and sister made the usual solemn declaration that
they would take each other as husband and wife, &c. This,
our brother considered all that could be required of him as a
subject. But now remained the clergyman’s blessing and
confirmation of the matrimony, which in the literal Eng-
lish translation is as follows: “As you then have solemnly
promised to each other conjugal love and fidelity, I there-
fore confirm in the name of the Father, the Son, and the
548 [A.D. 1843.
Holy Ghost, as an appointed minister of the christian
church, this your conjugal union as a union, which, accord-
ing to God’s order, is indissoluble. What God has joined
together, let not man put asunder.” Now, while the cler-
gyman was pronouncing the first of these words, the bro-
ther walked a step or two back from the altar, with his
wife, and interrupted the clergyman in words to this effect:
“I do not belong to the State Church, and I therefore can-
not accept the blessing of the State Church, or the con-
firmation of the State Church, with reference to our mar-
riage. Our union was made in heaven, and therefore needs
no earthly confirmation. I have gone as far as I could
with a good conscience, but further I can do nothing.”—
The clergyman now stated: “I pronounce your marriage
as void, and I shall give notice of your behaviour to the
magistrates.”—The whole matter made a great stir, the
people rushed out of the church, and our brother, with
his wife, having gone orderly back into their pews, fell on
their knees and prayed, and then walked home.—The first
thing that now followed was, that the relations on the part
of the wife sought to separate the brother and sister by
all possible means, removing the funiture out of their
intended rooms, sending policemen, and not suffering the
brother to live where he had purposed to live after mar-
riage, so that the newly married couple had to take up
their abode in the house of a brother in the Lord, now in
fellowship with us, who is the brother of the young wife.
On the next day the newly married brother went to the
clergyman, and humbly stated to him, that that, which
had occurred on the previous day, was not in the least
intended as an insult to him, but that he had been forced
to act thus to maintain a good conscience. But he again
declared the marriage as void, and said that he should
legally proceed against him. Either on the same day, or
the day after, our brother and sister had to appear before
the director of the city, and after having been for hours
examined, the marriage was declared as void, and they
were ordered to separate from each other, otherwise the
laws against concubinage would be put in force against
them. Our brother and sister meekly declared, that they
would gladly submit to the Government in every thing,
in which they could submit with a good conscience, but
that they could not separate from each other, as they
A.D. 1843.] 549
considered that they, according to divine and human laws,
were married. After some time they had to appear a
second time, and, if I remember right, a third, if not a
fourth time; but they always gave the same declaration
before the city director, and added that they claimed the
rights of the subjects of Wirtemberg, according to which
there was secured to them perfect liberty of conscience.
So the matter remained. Nothing more occurred till
Monday, Oct. 23rd, when the said brother was ordered to
appear before a court called the “Criminal Court’” at half-
past two, his wife at three, and the brother who had taken
them in and lodged them, at half-past three in the after-
noon. I ought to have said before, that all three belong
to those saints who for my sake were separated from the
Baptist Church here. Brother R. and I therefore met
for prayer while they were before the judge, and continued
in prayer from half-past two till half-past five. All three
experienced the fulfilment of that word: “Take no thought
how or what ye shall speak: for it shall be given you in
that same hour what ye shall speak.” Matt. x. 19. The
Lord was very nigh to them. They were able firmly, but
meekly, to bear testimony for the truth. Even the sister,
though alone before the judge, was greatly helped. She
has been ever since the event at the church quite of one
mind with her husband. The crime alleged against the
other brother at this court was, that after he knew that
the magistrates had declared the marriage illegal, he still
lodged them in his house; to which he declared that he
considered the marriage legal. This led to the reasons,
and a long and blessed testimony for the Lord was borne
before the judge. The crime alleged against the husband
before this court was, that he had intended this as an
insult against the church, which he denied, but stated that
he had gone as far as he could, and that he would rather
suffer any thing than act against his conscience. On
Thursday, Oct. 26th, these three dear saints had to stand
before the same judge, each again alone, from half-past
two till half-past five, whilst brother R. and I were again
in prayer for them. The Lord again abundantly helped
them. Even the judge, though a Roman Catholic, sought
both times to favour them as much as possible, and the
investigations of the whole affair were as favourably taken
down for them on paper by him, as if a brother in the
550 [A.D. 1843.
Lord had written them down. We know how that came.
The Lord heard the prayers of his children, and also acted
according to the just mentioned promise. To both breth-
ren was permitted to hand in on the next day a written
statement, on what scriptural grounds the husband’s con-
science led him to act as he did; and the other brother, on
what scriptural grounds he could not obey the magistrates,
in refusing to lodge his sister and brother-in-law, when
their marriage had been declared illegal. Brother R. and I
now wrote two long statements about the affair with scrip-
tural proofs, which, on the next day, were delivered to the
Court. On Friday, Oct. 27th, the brother, the husband,
had to stand the third time that week before the judge,
who, among other things told him, that until the matter
by the proper court was decided, the police would separate
him and his wife. Thus the matter stands. Our brother
and sister may any day be separated; if so, they will be
only separated as long as they are in prison; when they
come out, they feel themselves before God bound to come
again, together; and should the matter be forced, they
must leave the country. Moreover, if the matter is pressed,
the husband may be from six months to two years impri-
soned for the act at the church. But the Lord reigneth,
and men can go no further than the Lord gives them per-
mission. Our brother who lodged them is liable to six
months’ imprisonment; but the Lord reigneth. Nothing
is to be done here, except to pray and to be ready to suf-
fer for the Lord’s sake, in order that real liberty of con-
Science may be obtained. Such a case never occurred here
before. The courts know not themselves what to do. The
judge who investigated the case, in order to lay the written
investigation before the proper court, said publicly : “I
wonder how they will manage this affair.” With refe-
rence to my own judgment about the matter, it is this:
If any brother and sister were now to be married, to whom
the Lord has given the same light, they should not go at
all to the church, but simply give information to the magis-
trates, have their names called at church, declare them-
selves ready to pay the fees, and state before the brethren
that they mean to consider themselves as united by mar-
riage; and if the government after this oppresses them, to
leave the country. I cannot regret that matters have been
as they have. The government itself forced our brother,

A.D. 1843.] 551
so to say, to do what he did; and good will come out of it
for the church.-We are now waiting for what the Lord
will do in this matter, and to see whether these dear saints
will have to bear imprisonment or not.
Another event has occurred : On Oct. 24th, the elders
of the Baptist Church, and therefore two of the brethren
with whom I now meet for the breaking of bread, were
ordered to appear before the director of the city to hear a
communication from the ministers of state with reference
to their request about being permitted to marry, without
going to church. As this order now came to them as
being of the Baptist Church, whilst our brethren no longer
belong to the Baptist Church, but consider themselves
united with all who love our Lord Jesus, they sent a writ-
ten statement to the director of the city, stating that
they had ceased to belong to the Baptist Church. Thus,
without our seeking it, the position which we hold, even
if it had not been so before, is now made known. Still,
hitherto nothing has been done to us, nor any hinderance
laid in our way. Indeed a few days since, through a par-
ticular circumstance, the city director had my passport
put into his hands, with the inquiry whether a ticket of
permission to remain in Stuttgart should be granted to
me, or not, and there were no objections made. So I still
teach and preach Christ freely, and all that the Lord has
taught me, although to a very small number; for the
people are afraid of us. In the mean time I speak to
souls as I may meet them in the fields, or when persons
ask for an alms without the city, for in the whole of Stutt-
gart I never saw one beggar. I also make considerable
progress with my Narrative, much more than at the first,
and have nearly one-half ready for the press.
When we took our position here of receiving all who
love our Lord Jesus, irrespective of their agreeing with us
in all points, one brother came among us, who had been
always refused by the Baptist Church here, because he
was not baptized. After this brother had been about
six weeks among us, he himself desired baptism. He was
baptized on the evening of Oct. 28. Thus we have been
able to give a practical proof of the truth which we hold.
Our number has only been increased by the arrival of our
brother T. H., the son of our brother H. whom you know.
He resides in the same house with us.-I repeat that it
552 [A.D. 1843.
will give us joy to hear from any of you. We remember
before the Lord those of you by name, of whom it has been
written to us that they are in trial. My dear wife sends
her love to all the dear brethren and sisters.
I remain, my dear brethren,
Your brother and servant in the Lord,
GEORGE MüLLER.
P. S.—I only add that the two brothers and the sister,
by their meekness and godly walk, much commend the
truth, and are precious instruments chosen of the Lord,
to carry the truth before the rulers of the land.
Dec. 31, 1843. During this year 75 have been received
into communion among us in Bristol, and 13 Saints have
fallen asleep. Being absent from Bristol I am not able
to give the present exact state of the church there as to
numbers.-The Lord has been pleased to give me during
this year for my temporal necessities. £
S. d.
1,Through the saints among whom Ilabour
in Bristol, in provisions, clothes, etc.
Worth to us, at least........................ 10 0 0
2, Through anonymous offerings in money,
put up in paper, and directed to me, and
put into the boxes for the poor saints, or
the rent, at the meeting places ......... 130 8 4;
3, Through presents in money, from Saints
in Bristol, not given anonymously ..... 106 12 0.
4, Through presents in money from Saints
not residing in Bristol..................... 79 1 6
326 1 10%
*º
To this is to be added that the expenses connected with
our journey to Germany, and with our temporal necessities,
and all the various expenses coming on usin connexion with
our stay in a foreign land, from Aug. 9, to Dec. 31, were
met out of the 7021. 3s. 7d., which had been given to me,
as has been stated, for several purposes, but especially also
for the expenses connected with my service in Germany.
Is it not again most manifest from this statement, that
A.D. 1844.] 553
during the year 1843 also I served a most kind master even
with reference to temporal supplies P And this I delight to
show. If I had been striving with all my might to obtain
a good income during the year 1843, I could not have had
more; for in one way or another the Lord gave me about
400l. without asking any one for any thing, and therefore
I had far more than I needed either for myself and family,
or for giving me ability to use hospitality. I find it more
and more pleasant, even with reference to this life, to walk
in the ways of the Lord, and to rely upon him for all I
need; and often when I recount on my walks for medita-
tion the mercies of the Lord towards me, I am constrained
to say to the praise of the Lord, that if I had remained
in my unconverted state, and therefore continued a ser-
vant of Satan, I could not have been nearly as well off,
even with reference to this life, as I am now in the service
of the Lord Jesus. Ifind that the more the Lord enables
me not to seek my own things, but the things of Jesus
Christ, the more he takes care that my temporal neces-
sities should be richly supplied.
Jan. 1, 1844.—Last evening I met with the whole little
church at Stuttgart to tea, and the last hours of the year,
till about 12 o'clock at night, we spent together in prayer.
On Jan. 15th, I wrote another letter to the brethren in
Dristol, which is here subjoined.
Stuttgart, Jan. 15, 1844.
To the Saints meeting in the name of Jesus, at Bethesda
and Salem Chapels, Bristol.
Beloved brethren,
I have it in my heart once more to write to you a
little about the work of the Lord here, before my return
to you, and I do it the more readily, because I have con-
fidence in your love, being assured that you are as glad
to hear from me, as I am to write to you. With reference
to all the time since I left you, and in particular with
reference to the time since I last wrote to you, I have
abundant reason to say, that goodness and mercy have
followed us. Never, since I first saw it to be the will of
God, that I should labour here for a season, which is now
more than seven months, have I been permitted to ques-
tion, that this conclusion was formed under the guidance
of the Holy Ghost; and ever since I left you, which is
T} B B
554 [A.D. 1844.
now five months and six days, every thing has proved,
that I left you according to the will of God. It is pre-
cious, beloved brethren, to go on an errand when the Lord
himself sends us, and to be at a post where the Lord
himself has placed us; for then all goes on well. Far
better to wait months, or even years, than to take a step
in uncertainty, or being but half assured that it is the
will of God, that we should take that step.–But as fully
as I was assured that I should leave you for a season, so,
as far as I can see at present the mind of the Lord, does
it appear to me now, that the time is fast approaching,
when our Lord will give us again the great joy and pre-
cious privilege of seeing you face to face. Truly, we may
say, through grace, and without hypocrisy, “We, brethren,
being taken from you for a short time in presence, not
in heart;” indeed nothing but grace has kept us here so
long. And now the time seems to be fast approaching
when we shall leave this, and I am by prayer and labour
endeavouring, to see your face soon. If the Lord will,
my Narrative, (which, with a particular reference to the
spiritual necessities of the Church in Germany, I have
been preparing for the press, and is nearly finished), will
be printed within five weeks from this day, so that I hope
we shall be able to leave this towards the end of February.
Yet, in the mean time, there remains much work for me
still to do, both with reference to writing and labouring
among the brethren here; therefore continue, dear bre-
thren, even as you have done hitherto, to help me with your
prayers; and we also, by the help of God, will continue
to intercede for you, as we do with joy.
As there have occurred a number of important events
among us, since I wrote to you last, I proceed now to give
you some account of them.—In the early part of Novem-
ber last year, brother R., the Doctor of Law, asked me
to unite with him and a sister in prayer, as that sister
(not one in fellowship with us, but belonging to the State
Church) was going to be divorced from her husband, and
she had desired that we should spend the time with her
in prayer for her husband, while this act would be settled
in the judicial court. This sister had had to suffer ex-
ceedingly during the space of many years from her hus-
band, who hated her greatly for the Lord’s sake. Three
times she had been obliged to leave him, because of his
awful treatment; but three times, especially through the
**.
A.D. 1844.] 555
peace-making efforts of brother R., who was her legal
counsellor, she returned to her husband, and lived for a
season with him, till at last each time her health sank
under the sufferings she had endured from him. At
length, about two years since, she left him again, with
the intention not to return to him any more. This led
to a divorce by law, a thing not uncommon on the Con-
tinent; and in that hour in which we met for prayer, the
matter was settled. In consequence of this, as she had
three children, and brought a comparatively considerable
property to her husband, the law proceeded to secure
this money for the benefit of herself and children, as the
husband had wasted all his own property. This act was
settled on December 9th, on which occasion she had to
meet her husband at his house with the appointed govern-
ment officers; and she requested our brother Dr. R., as
a friend to accompany her. Brother R., (who had been
for fifteen years the peace-maker between this husband
and wife, and who had three times succeeded in favour of
the husband, though the legal adviser of the wife,) was
nevertheless greatly hated by the husband, who repeat-
edly spoke to him in public courts of law thus: “You
shall never baptize me.” Or, “Now my wife will soon
be free to marry her priest,” (meaning brother R.,) &c.
All this brother R. had been able to bear with the greatest
meekness, though thus publicly insulted, when acting as
solicitor or barrister at the judicial courts. Now on the
9th of December, brother R., as I said, went with this
divorced sister to her husband’s house. When all the
business was done, the husband came close to brother R.,
in the presence of several magistrates, put a pistol to his
side and fired it at him, then took another pistol, put it
to his own breast, fired and sank down dead immediately.
But while he himself died immediately, brother R. has
been wonderfully preserved. He wore a thick wadded
coat, and had four papers in his side pocket, through all
of which the ball passed. Then, to show the hand of
God, the ball met in the other clothes such obstacles (all
being double in that spot,) that it only entered a very
little way into the body and lodged upon one of the ribs,
After the fire was extinguished, (for our brother's clothes
were set on fire, so near had the poor sinner put the
pistol to him,) our brother walked home, and shortly after
- B B B 2 -
556 - [A.D. 1844.
a surgeon extracted the ball, and on the seventh day our
brother was so far restored, that the whole little church
here could be gathered around his bed, together with his
relations, and we united together in praising the Lord for
his wonderful help ; and on the fifteenth day our brother
was already so far restored, that he was able to assemble
himself again with us for the breaking of bread. Half an
inch higher or lower might have taken his life; but the
balls (for the pistol was loaded with two, one of which fell
out of his clothes,) though most maliciously so prepared
that they might do much mischief on entering the body,
found so much resistance that the power, through the
soft clothing being every part double in that spot, was
spent before touching the body. Surely, the Lord is
round about us! Even the ungodly in this city have
been forced to marvel; but now the devil spreads the
report that that wicked person shot our brother, because
he purposed to marry his wife.
At last also the sentence has come from the judicial
court appointed for that business, with reference to the
married brother and sister about whom I wrote to you.
Both of them are sentenced to fourteen days' imprison-
ment, and their marriage is declared to be illegal and
only concubinage, so that when the imprisonment is over,
they will be separated by the police, and sent back to
prison, should they still seek to live together as they
must do, being married in the sight of God. Further,
the brother who lodged them after their marriage, is
sentenced to four days’ imprisonment, because he helped
on, as it is said, concubinage. Finally, the husband is
sentenced to pay # of the legal expenses, his wife # and
the other brother #. If here were only the question
about money, or suffering imprisonment, we must bear it,
and account it an honour, to suffer for Christ’s sake; but
as the sentence is, that this marriage is concubinage,
which according to God and to man it is not, and as the
liberty of the Wirtemberg subjects allows them to appeal
to a higher court, and as brother R. can do all this busi-
ness, I have with brother R. and some other brethren
judged, that in this case, like Paul, we ought to appeal to
a higher court, if by any means we may keep the govern-
ment from committing this grievous sin of unjustly pun-
ishing these godly persons. Should this, however, be in
vain, we must yield to the power, the brethren must bear
A.D. 1844.] 557
the imprisonment, and this dear couple must leave the
country. -
Our position here as saints was unquestionably known
from the beginning by the police, who watch us closely;
but nothing was officially done in the matter till very
recently, which was occasioned in the following way.
The Baptist church here have two or three times a year,
or as often as the city director (the head of the police)
requires it, to give in the list of names of those who belong
to the church, who have been added, and who have been
separating themselves or have been excluded. At the
close of the year that was now done again, when the con-
siderable number who had left it, on my account, were
noticed by the city director, who then sent for the teach-
ing elder or president of the Baptist church, who told
him all about me, and that I had occasioned this business.
This now drew forth an order from the city director to
brother R., in which he was requested to state—1. Who
had separated themselves with him, (names, station in
life, and place of abode)?–2. Whether we meant to form
a separate church P-3. Who were the elders ?–4. And
who at present belonged to our number P This was very
briefly replied to by giving the names of those who sepa-
rated themselves, the additional two names of those who
have been added since, that we meant to be in communion
with all who love our Lord Jesus, and that this was the
reason, why we had separated ourselves from the Baptist
church. To this no reply has been sent; nor has any
one as yet put the least hinderance to my freely teaching
and preaching Jesus Christ, though it is now five months
and six days since I have been labouring here.
The Lord is also now beginning to work among the
brethren belonging to the Baptist church here, in answer
to our and your prayers, and those of many other dear
saints in England, Switzerland, &c. Several are begin-
ning to feel that their position is not a right one, but
none have yet fully and publicly renounced their errors,
which, I trust, will soon be the case. May we continue
to pray concerning this matter. Moreover, the prejudices
against us are wearing off on the part of some other
persons, so that the number who attend our meetings is
rather increasing. There seem also several who are
somewhat concerned about their souls, and a few children
• . B B B 3
558 [A.D. 1844.
of God belonging to the state church come. Another
brother was also added to our number about a fortnight
ago, so that we are now two-and-twenty altogether, who
break bread. This is a small company certainly, but
though it be only like a taper on a candlestick, yet there
is some light, however little, and I trust that, with God’s
blessing, this light will be more and more bright in Ger-
many, where it is so much needed. The Lord is also
blessing my labours among the dear brethren here, so
that they grow in knowledge, and, I trust, in grace also ;
likewise those errors, of which I wrote to you, are giving
way, but they are not overcome fully yet, and I shall
have a conflict still about them, before I leave : still the
Lord has kept us in peace, by giving me wisdom to deal
gently with the brethren, remembering the years in which
they were built up in error. Help me also with your
prayers, that I may find a bookseller, to take my book on
commission for sale; for I have offered it to three, and
they have refused it. One glimpse was enough for one,
in seeing that I did not belong to a State Church. Surely,
I have conflict here step by step; but God helps, and
through him I shall do valiantly in this thing also ; never-
theless I beg your prayers.--And now, finally, I intreat
you, beloved pilgrims, help me with your prayers, that I
may do and suffer all the will of God here gladly, that I
may live to his honour while remaining here, that I may
be helped in the remainder of my work, that I may
not leave a day before, nor stay a day beyond the Lord's
time, and that the Lord would give us a prosperous jour-
ney and voyage in his own time. My dear wife unites
with me in love to all the dear brethren and sisters. We
often pray for you, and remember by name those who are
in particular trial through bereavement, or from other
causes. Farewell,
Your affectionate brother and servant in the Lord,
GEORGE MüLLER.
I add a few remarks in connexion with this letter:—
I. The wisdom of our brother R., in being present at
the judicial settlement of the money affairs of the sister,
who was legally divorced from her husband, may be
questioned, on account of the expressions used by the
husband. As to myself, knowing the particulars more
A.D. 1844.] 559
fully than the reader can, I do not for a moment think
that the man thought our brother had any intention of
marrying his divorced wife, for all these expressions were
evidently only used to insult Dr. R.; but my objection
would rather spring from this, that I question whether a
christian has any business at all with such concerns. The
Lord in a most remarkable way protected Dr. R.; but
this by no means proves that he was in his proper place.
II. I also say a few words more about the brother and
sister whose marriage was considered illegal. The appeal
to the highest court was of no avail, also the final appeal
to the King was useless, and about July, 1844, the bro-
ther and sister were imprisoned for fourteen days, and
the brother, who had taken them in, four days. The Lord
was with them and blessed them much in the prison, as
they wrote me. The brethren had free access to them,
and once even the greater part of them met in the prison
and broke bread together. This exceeding great leniency
was granted to them, I think, through the judge who had
to investigate their affairs. When their imprisonment
was expired, they were ordered to separate, which however
they did not do, considering themselves married in the
sight of God. For a long time the government only
threatened, without separating them by force; at last,
however, in March, 1845, after having taken from him his
right of citizenship at Stuttgart, and having thus deprived
him of the privilege of carrying on his business as a
master cabinet-maker, the husband was taken by force
from his wife, and escorted by a policeman to his parish,
which is about nine miles distant. This was done after
the government had suffered them to live together as
husband and wife, above twenty months, and after they
had had a child more than ten months old, which however
the Lord took to himself about a week before the parents
were thus separated. This affair has occasioned the loss
of the business of this brother, and if an alteration be
not shortly made in the laws of the country, with refer-
ence to liberty of conscience concerning marriage, (which
they hope for, as they mean to appeal to the representa-
tives of the people,) they purpose to emigrate to England.
Though our brother and sister might have acted more
wisely, and not have brought the matter to this public
act at the church ; yet we must keep in mind that their
position had been trying, as for more than a twelve-month
560 IA.D. 1844,
they had delayed being married, in hope of obtaining per-
mission from the government not to have to go to the
State Church ; and as no one of the brethren had ever
been thus situated; and as they themselves had not much
light, yet wished to maintain a good conscience: on these
accounts, I say, we cannot but feel for our brother and
sister in their trial, and remember them in love.
Were it again to occur, that a brother and sister of the
little church at Stuttgart should desire to be united in
marriage, and have conscientious objections to be married
in the State Church, I gave it as my judgment to the
brethren, that they should humbly and meekly make
known their intentions to the city director, have their
banns called in the Church, pay the fees of the clergyman,
etc., and afterwards make known to the whole little
Church that they took each other in malriage, signify the
same to the city director, and not go to the State Church.
If after this they should not be suffered to live together,
them to emigrate. *
III. After I had been between two and three months at
Stuttgart, and the brethren had been instructed in some
measure, both at our public meetings and at the Scripture
Reading Meetings, about many important truths, I at
last began decidedly to go forward at our private meetings,
after much prayer, to the exposing of the fearful errors
which they almost all held in thinking that at last all men
would be saved, and even the devils themselves. We had
not, however, had more than two or three meetings on
this subject when Dr. R. was shot; and as this occasioned
his absence for some time, I thought it better not to go on
with the subject; and when he was sufficiently restored,
it was wished that we should consider all the passages
connected with the Lord's Supper. As on this point also
the brethren needed instruction, I readily yielded the
point, judging that I had to show them, by being willing
to wait, that I sought not my own gratification in con-
sidering their views about universal salvation. Thus five
or six meetings were spent in considering all the portions
of the Holy Scriptures which speak about the Lord's
Supper. But now this having been finished, I proposed
that we should resume considering the Scriptures, with
reference to universal salvation, and I found that they
had been led into this error, because 1, They did not see
the difference between the earthly calling of the Jews,
A.D. 1844.] 561
and the heavenly calling of the believers in the Lord
Jesus in the present dispensation, and therefore they said
that because the words “everlasting,” etc., are applied to
“the possession of the land of Canaan,” and the “priest-
hood of Aaron,” that therefore the punishment of the
wicked cannot be without end, seeing that the possession
of Canaan and the priesthood of Aaron are not without
end. My endeavour, therefore, was to show the brethren
the difference between the earthly calling of Israel and
our heavenly one, and to prove from Scripture, that when-
ever the word “everlasting” is used with reference to
things purely not of the earth, but beyond time, it denotes
a period without end. 2, They had laid exceeding great
stress upon a few passages where, in Luther's translation
of the German Bible, the word hell occurs, and where it
ought to have been translated either “hades” in some
passages, or “grave” in others, and where they saw a
deliverance out of hell, and a being brought up out of hell,
instead of “out of the grave.” 3, They had taken pas-
sages out of their connexion.—The mode which I now
pursued was, to refer to all the very many passages which
they had written down, and to expound them according to
the connexion in which they stood, seeking to show the
brethren this connexion. In addition to this, I requested
them to allow me to speak on those passages withouf being
Žnterrupted, in order that, being able pretty fully to enter
upon this subject, there might be free opportunity given
to the Holy Ghost to work conviction in their hearts;
and, as they were greatly in favour of universal salvation,
they might thus be kept from controversy, to which they
would have been inclined, without having heard what I
had to say from the Word of God against universal salva-
tion; for I had previously given them full opportunity to
bring out their own views. After having thus proceeded
for several evenings in our private meetings, I saw that
the greater part were fully convinced about the errors
they had held, and the others had no desire to contradict,
though they had perhaps not grace enough to say plainly
that they had been in error. Nor did I in the least
enforce that any acknowledgment should be made to
me. These meetings took place during the last three
weeks of my stay at Stuttgart. Thus, by having received
grace from the Lord to deal patiently with the brethren,
562 [A.D. 1844.
and to wait upon God even for the right time to attack
these errors, I was helped to conquer in this thing also.
IV. I add also a few words more with reference to my
Narrative, which I published at Stuttgart. When I had
proceeded a considerable way in preparing it for the press,
I found especial help from God, in being directed through
a kind brother, whom I had known eight years before at
Stuttgart, to a paper manufacturer, from whom I could buy
the paper for 4,000 copies on advantageous terms, and
also to a very honourable and promise-keeping printer.
The printer engaged to print two sheets a week and kept
his word to the end, so that as long as six weeks before
my departure, I was able to say that, if the Lord would,
I should depart on the 26th of February, and on that
very day I was able to depart. Important as it was, for
many reasons, that I should return to my service in Bris-
tol when I did, I cannot but see the hand of God in
directing me to so honourable a person as the printer was,
in whom also, I trust, is somewhat of the fear of God.—
It has been often mentioned to me in various places, that
brethren in business do not sufficiently attend to the
keeping of promises, and I cannot therefore but entreat
all who love our Lord Jesus, and who are engaged in a
trade or business, to seek for his sake not to make any
promises, except they have every reason to believe they
shall be able to fulfil them, and therefore carefully to
weigh all the circumstances, before making any engage-
ment, lest they should fail in its accomplishment. It is
even in these little ordinary affairs of life that we may
either bring much honour or dishonour to the Lord; and
these are the things which every unbeliever can take
notice of. Why should it be so often said, and sometimes
with a measure of ground, or even much ground: “Be-
lievers are bad servants, bad tradesmen, bad masters ?”
Surely it ought not to be true that we, who have power
with God to obtain by prayer and faith all needful grace,
wisdom and skill, should be bad servants, bad tradesmen,
bad masters. -
When now the Narrative was nearly printed, I had to
look out for a bookseller, who would undertake the sale of
the book on commission. My reason for this was not
the money which might thus be obtained, for truly glad
should I have been to have given away all the 4,000 copies

A.D. 1844.] 563
at once, had I known of suitable opportunites; but in
order that by means of the book-trade the Narrative
might be circulated even a thousand miles off or more,
where I had no opportunity of reaching. Here now it
was again that I met with difficulty, as I had done step
by step in the other parts of my service in Germany.
Three booksellers refused to undertake the sale of the
book. The objection evidently was, that I did not belong
to the State Church, and one of them plainly told me so.
But by the help of God I was not discouraged. I knew
the Lord had sent me to Germany: I knew also that it
was his will that I should publish an account of his deal-
ings with me in the German language; for he had so
unexpectedly laid this matter upon my heart; he had so
remarkably provided the means for it, without my asking
any one but himself for them ; he had given me such es-
pecial help in preparing the book for the press; he had
given me such an abundance of prayer about this part of
my service, both many weeks before I left England, and
day by day all the months that I had been in Germany.
IFor these reasons it was that I had the fullest assurance
that this difficulty also would be overcome. I therefore
now began to give myself to prayer with my dear wife
concerning this very matter. Day by day we waited upon
the Lord for about four weeks, and then I applied to
another bookseller, who without any hesitation undertook
the sale of the book on commission, so that I retained
2,000 copies for gratuitous distribution, and 2,000 he was
to have.
Dear reader, there is no difficulty which may not be
overcome. Let us but use the power which we have with
God as his children by prayer and faith, and abundant
blessings may be drawn down from him.
V. On my departure from Stuttgart, the number of
the brethren who met for the breaking of bread was
twenty-five. On the very last Lord’s Day, I had the joy
of seeing the third elder of the Baptist Church, who had
at first thought me so much in error, come among us, and
unite with us in the breaking of bread, having for some
time had his mind more and more opened to the truth.
The day before I departed, not only the brethren and sis-
ters among whom I had laboured took leave of me with
many tears, but also nineteen brethren and sisters of
564 [A.D. 1844,
the close Baptist Church came to my lodgings, and
affectionately bade me farewell, and many with tears.
The Lord indeed, in his rich mercy, had so far answered
my prayer concerning this my service, that I left a testi-
mony behind in their consciences.
On Feb. 26, 1844, my dear wife and I departed from
Stuttgart, and on March 6th, we reached Bristol. Ex-
ceedingly as we had longed to return to Bristol, as soon
as we could see it to be the Lord’s will, yet so greatly had
our hearts been knit to the dear saints whom we left
behind, that it was a sad pleasure to depart, and our only
comfort was, that we left them in the hands of the good
Shepherd.
I resume now the account about the Orphan-Houses,
and other objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution.
During all the time of my absence from Bristol, the
Lord bountifully supplied our need. For though the
money, which I was able to leave behind on my departure,
would not have supplied the Orphan-Houses with more
than about one-half of what was needed, yet the Lord
helped so seasonably, and sent in so many donations,
that there was not once, during all this time, the least,
difficulty with reference to means. There came in for the
Orphans, between Aug. 9, 1843, and March 6, 1844,
about 450l. besides very many articles of clothing, pro-
visions, books, trinkets, old silver, etc.
On Aug. 11th, 1843, A. B. sent 50l., which, being left to
my disposal, was put to the School—Bible—Missionary
and Tract Fund. I received information about this dona-
tion on the evening of Aug. 22nd, during the first hour
after my arrival at Stuttgart. It was a precious earnest,
that the Lord would also be mindful of the need of the
Institution during my absence from England. Indeed,
it cannot be described, how sweet to me just then, under
the circumstances in which I found myself, in an especial
trial of faith to which the Lord called me in that very
hour, as before stated, was this fresh proof of the Lord’s
watchful care over his work in my hands.
Nov. 21, 1843. At a time when all means were ex-
hausted, and when for many reasons large supplies were
needed for the School—Bible—Missionary and Tract
Fund, whilst I was daily waiting upon the Lord with my
dear wife in Germany, bringing the work in Bristol before
A.D. 1844.] 565
him, and beseeching him also to give us pecuniary means
for it, that his enemies might have no cause for triumphing,
was sent to me a letter from Bristol, containing another
from the East Indies, in which the writer gave me an
order for 100l. for the work of the Lord in my hands,
giving me at the same time full liberty to use the money
as most needed. -
A few days after A. B. sent another 50l. for the work of
the Lord in my hands. By these two donations, both of
which I put entirely to the funds for these objects, we
were not only helped to meet all present demands, but
were richly supplied.—Thus, at so great a distance from
the work, we were yet able by our prayers effectually to
serve the Institution —Truly, it is precious in this way
to hang upon God . It brings its abundant reward with
it ! Every donation, thus received, so manifestly comes
out of the hands of the Lord himself.
Dear Reader, just look once more upon this circum-
stance Hundreds of miles we were from Bristol, and by
our bowing our knees before our Heavenly Father at
Stuttgart, we not only could bring down spiritual blessings
upon the work in Bristol, but also temporal means. Thus,
simply by prayer, we obtained whilst in Germany, for
the work of God in Bristol, within about one week,
nearly 2007.; for there came in some other donations for
the Orphans also.
On Jan. 6, 1844, there came in 50l. from one who is
VERY FAR FROM BEING RICH, of which 10l. was given for
the School Fund, and 40l. for the Orphans. The donor is
satisfied with food and raiment, labouring cheerfully, and
wishing rather to spend than to keep, or lay up treasure
on earth.
March 25, 1844. After a comparatively great abun-
dance with regard to the Orphans, for a whole year and
seventeen days, during which time we were not once in
difficulty as to means, which had not been the case for
nearly five years previous to the commencement of this
period, we are now again quite poor, there being NOTHING
AT ALL left in my hands, after I have paid out this day
more than 50l. for rent and salaries. But through the
grace of God I am able to trust as heretofore in the Lord,
and therefore my heart is in peace.—Evening. I received
C C C,
566 [A.D. 1844.
this afternoon 11s. 2%d., 2s. 7d., by sale of articles came in
11.19s. 9d., by sale of Reports 3s., and by a donation 2s. 2d.
March 26. This morning my wife and I besought the
Lord unitedly for means, and received almost immediately
afterwards 5l. from Birmingham, in answer to our prayer.
March 27. I received 8s., and there was anonymously
put into the box at Bethesda 2s. 6d. This morning at
half-past nine a sister came to me, and brought me a
sovereign for the Orphans, saying: “Whilst I was lying
this morning at six o'clock on my bed, I thought, here I
am so comfortable, and perhaps the Orphans may be in
need, and I resolved to bring you this.” The donation
came most seasonably and as the fruit of our prayer.—I
received also ll., the profit of the sale of ladies' bags.
March 30. Saturday. There is 6l. 19s. 9d. in hand.
This will be at least enough till Monday morning.—There
came in this morning 11. 1s. by a donation, before the
money was sent off to the Orphan-Houses, so that I had
8l. 0s. 9d. to send, which will be enough, I suppose, till
Tuesday morning.
April 1. There came in since the day before yesterday
11., which was anonymously put into the box at Salem
Chapel, 15s. was given by a young sister as the produce
of some work which she had done for the benefit of the
Orphans, and 16s, came in by sale of articles. Having
had this 21. 11s. coming in, I was able to meet extraor-
dinary expenses which came upon me to-day, not having
expected that anything beyond the ordinary housekeeping
money would have been needed.
April 2. The need of to-day was 31. 0s. 6d. Yesterday
I had paid away all the money in hand, but in the after-
noon came in: By sale of articles 21. 17s. 5d., by the
boxes in the Orphan-Houses 5s. 6d., and by needle-work
of the Orphans 4s. 3%d.: so that we were able to meet the
demands of to-day.
April 3. To-day 11, 14s. was required. I opened the
boxes in my house, in which I found 3s. 1%d. Thus I had
8s. 10d. with what was left yesterday, and the remainder,
being 17. 5s. 2d., one of the labourers was able to give of
his own.
April 4. Last night was given to me 11s. by a young
lady who had done some work, and sold it for the benefit
of the Orphans. Also 10s. was given by a sister, and
A.D. 1844.] 567
this morning 5s. came in from two Christians at Old Cleeve.
Thus we have ll. 6s., and the need of to-day is 11.7s. One
of the labourers was able to add the 1s.
April 5. Yesterday came in by sale of articles 3!.,
and this morning I received from Clapham ll. 10s., and
through a believer in Bristol 21.6s. This afternoon came
in still further from a brother in Bath 5l. We have
therefore received altogether this day 11!. 14s. from the
bountiful hand of our Heavenly Father.
April 6. One of the labourers in the Orphan-Houses
gave me still further to-day 5l., and from Kensington I
received 17.6s. We are thus again provided for the pro-
bable expenses of two or three days.
April 7. To-day a sister gave me 27, for the express
purpose of providing a little treat for the dear Orphans,
and 15s. 6d. came in besides.
April 8. It has often occurred in our experience, that
after we have had to pass for some time through a season
of comparative poverty, in which day by day we have had
to wait upon the Lord, our Father alters his way of deal-
ing with us, and opens his bountiful hand, by supplying
us for several or many days at once. Thus it is now.
During the last three days we received more than was
required for each of those days, and it was still more
abundantly so to-day; for this afternoon a person, residing
at Keynsham, gave me ll., and this evening a brother
gave me 50l. When I received this 50l. we were not in
absolute need, but had enough for two or three days; yet
I see the kindness of the Lord in sending this donation,
as I had been repeatedly of late praying for means, and as
we are thus enabled to do things which are not absolutely
needful just now, though desirable, and as we have thus
the continued proof of his willingness to send means.
April 14. From the end of Nov. 1843, till about the
middle of March, 1844, there was always as much in hand
as was needed for the School—Bible—and Tract Fund;
for besides the help which we received through the two
donations of 50l. and 100l., a number of smaller donations
came in after. TSut now for some weeks past all means
were again gone, and on the last three Saturdays all the
usual remuneration could not be given to all the teachers
in the Day-Schools. In addition to this the greater part
of the common sort of Bibles and Testaments, for circula-
C C C 2

568 [A.D. 1844.
tion among the poor and for Schools, were gone. I had
also often prayed for means to assist Missionary brethren.
Under these circumstances I received this morning from
A. B., who has been already repeatedly referred to, as
having been used by the Lord to help us in our need, the
sum of 50l.
May 4. Besides the 50l., which was given on April 8th,
for the Orphans, and the money we had in hand before
the 50l. was given, there has come in since then 36l. 2s. 8d.,
but to-day, Saturday, we have again only 5l. 6s. 6%d. left,
which however is enough for to-day, and a few shillings
will be left for the beginning of next week.
May 6. On Saturday came in by sale of articles ll. 11s.,
and by a donation 10s., and yesterday was put anony-
mously into the Chapel boxes. 2s. 6d. So we have more
than enough for the expenses of to-day.
May 8. By the produce of some little boxes, made by
a sister, there came in 5s. 6d., by a donation 2s. 6d., by
the contents of an Orphan-box from Crediton 6s. 10d.,
and by sale of articles 10s. By these small donations all
that is needed for to-day is met. The brother who sent
me the 6s. 10d. from Crediton, wrote, that he did not
like to wait till this little sum had increased, before he sent
it, as it might be just now needed; and thus it was.
May 9. The Lord has again helped for to-day and to-
morrow. Last evening I received through a brother 5s.,
and this morning the boxes in the Orphan-Houses were
opened, in which 57. 3s. 1; d. was found; some one also
bought a Report and gave 1s. for it.
May 13. On the 10th there came in 21 1s. 9d., on the
11th 10l. 10s. 4d., on the 12th 57. was sent from Barn-
staple by three sisters, and 37.6s. came in besides. By
the income of these three days I was not only able to
meet their own demands, but I had enough for to-day,
though I required no less than 131. 15s.
May 15. Yesterday there was only 17. 5s. left, not
nearly enough for what was required to-day. When I
came home last evening, having spent a part of the after-
noon at the Infant-Orphan-House, where I found that
several articles were needed, I heard that a gentleman
had called and wished to be shown into my room, where
he had written a paper, which he had put with some
money into the Orphan-box. On opening it I found the
-- -**
A.D. 1844.] 569
paper to contain four sovereigns. Thus we are helped for
the present.
May 16. Only 5s. came in, through the boxes at my
house.
May 17. Yesterday I paid out all To THE LAST PENNY
I had in hand. When now there was nothing left, 21. came
in by the sale of some books, and 11.0s. 6d. by two dona-
tions, whereby I was able to meet this day’s need.
May 18. This morning 17.17s. 10d. came in. We have
thus, with the little which was left yesterday, 27.15s. 11d.
for this day, Saturday; but I know not whether that will
be enough.--Evening. This evening at six o'clock one of
my sisters-in-law returned from Plymouth, where she had
been staying for a little while, and brought from a sister
in the Lord 21., from another sister 11.15s. (being the
produce of the sale of some hymns), and also a parcel from
some sisters in the Lord in the neighbourhood of Kings-
bridge, containing 14s., and the following articles: a pair
of shoes, 3 pairs of socks, 3 pairs of cuffs, a pair of mittens,
8 little mats, a pincushion cover, a comb, 3 books, 4 clasps,
2 brooches, a gold pin, a chain, a vinaigrette, a Turk’s
head cushion, and 10 yards of calico. Also a parcel from
Plymouth, containing 2 veils and a scarf. Also from
another sister: 2 netted handkerchiefs.-The money I
took at once to the Orphan-Houses, where I found that,
to meet the present expenses, 31. 10s. more was required
than what I had been able to send in the morning, as
altogether about 6l. 5s. was needed for this day. How
kind, therefore, of the Lord, to send this money so oppor-
tunely, though only towards the evening of the day !
Thus we had enough, and a little left towards the need
of Monday.
May 20. Monday. Yesterday came in 4s. 8d., and to-
day 8s. 5d. As this, together with what had been left in
hand, was not quite enough, one of the labourers added
6s. 6d. of his own. Thus we had 17. 18s. 2d. for the need
of to-day.
May 23. We are still supplied by the day. We had
received from the Lord during the last days also what we
required, but we were poor, having nothing at all in hand.
Under these circumstances with reference to means for the
Orphans, and in as great need for the other objects of the
Institution, two persons, professed believers, called on me
C C C 3
570 [A.D. 1844.
to day, who were going from house to house in the street
where I live, to ask money for a chapel debt. I remon-
strated with them, and sought to show them how the
name of the Lord was dishonoured by them, in calling
upon the enemies of the Tord for pecuniary assistance
towards, what they considered, the work of the Lord. I
sought to show them, that if their work were of God, he
would, in answer to their prayers, send them help : and if
not, ought they not to give up, what was not his work,
and not force the matter by calling promiscuously from
house to house upon believers and unbelievers. Their
reply was: “The gold and silver are the Lord’s, and
therefore we call upon the unconverted for help for his
work.” My reply was : “Tecause the gold and silver are
the Lord’s, therefore we, his children, need not go to his
enemies for the support of his work.” Now, at that very
moment, while I was thus speaking for the Lord, having
then nothing at all in hand for the Orphans or the other
objects, the postman brought a small brown paper parcel
and a letter. My conversation seemed, for the time at
least, fruitless; for those two individuals, having left, went
as before from house to house; but when I came back to
my room, I found the blessedness of the scriptural way;
for that parcel, which the postman had brought, while I
was conversing, came from Ireland, and contained two
post-office orders for 5l. each, and a worked stool cover;
the letter which had been brought, and which was from
Seaton, contained 11. for the Orphans; and 17. 1s. 5d. had
been sent, having been taken out of the boxes in the
Orphan-Houses: so that altogether, whilst those two
persons were with me, 12l. 1s. 5d. had come in. Half of
the 10l. I put to the Orphan-Fund, and half to the other
funds, there being nothing in hand to supply the teachers
in the Day-Schools during this week.
May 24. To-day a box with many articles arrived
from the neighbourhood of Droitwich, and 11. 8s. 9d. was
received by the sale of articles.
May 25, 6s. 6d. came in.
May 27. Monday. On Saturday, after having supplied
the need of that day, which was 5l. 15s., and now again
little being left in my hands, a brother from Cork brought
me a parcel which contained 6 pairs of children's shoes, a
pair of little boots, a pair of list slippers (all new), 2 books,
A.D. 1844.] 571
2 pincushions, a knitted watch pocket, and 102 thimbles.
The same brother gave also 10s. 6d. and a book. In
the evening a brother gave me 1.l.—Yesterday was put
into the chapel boxes 10s, with Eccles. ix. 10, and
2s. 6d. besides. By these donations, with what was left
on Saturday, I am able to meet the demands of this day,
being 21. 17s.
May 31. By the produce of the sale of stockings, knitted
by the Orpham-Boys, by some help which one of the labourers
was able to give, by a donation, etc., we were supplied
during the last three days. Now this morning, when
again in much need, Ireceived a note, which contained 5l.
with Eccles. ix. 10. By means of this 5l. I was able to
meet the expenses of to-day, which are 27.8s. 3d.
June 1: Yesterday there came in still further 21.18s. 11d.
by sale of articles, and to-day by needle-work, done by the
Orphans, 11.13s. 9d. Thus I am able (including what
remained of the 5l.) to supply the need of this day, which
is 5l. 10s.-Still further came in 5s.
June 3. Monday. Yesterday came in 16s. 1; d. This,
with what was in hand from Saturday, met the demands
of to-day.
June 4. This morning came in 37. 2s. 4d. by the sale
of a few trinkets and of some pieces of old silver. This
was enough for this day's need, and left something over,
as only 11, 16s was required. This afternoon arrived a
parcel from Westmoreland, containing 24 chemises, 2
shirts, 2 petticoats, a pinafore, 5 night caps, 7 pairs of
stockings (all new), and 38% yards of print. Thus we are
encouraged day after day, though for many days we have
now been again very poor.
June 5. Last evening a brother gave me a dozen of
modern silver tea-spoons, which, being this morning readily
disposed of at a good price, supplied our need for to-day.
For several days I have now had day by day especial
prayer with some of my fellow-labourers about the work,
and particularly for pecuniary supplies; and surely we do
not wait in vain upon the Lord. Before this day is over
we have had another proof of it. This afternoon a parcel
was brought by a brother from London, containing a silver
cream jug, a pair of gilt earrings, a gold ring, 2 bracelets,
and a muffineer. The same donor sent also a sovereign.
The bearer brought also another donation of 2s. 6d. A
572 [A.D. 1844.
lady also called this afternoon at the Infant-Orphan-
House, to see the institution, and gave 5s.
June 8. On the 6th came in 16s. 6d. and 8s. 6d.; and
yesterday was received, by the sale of the silver cream
jug and a few other little articles, 41.0s. 9d., by the sale of
stockings, 5s., and by a donation 10s. Thus we had
enough for to-day, though the need was 4!. 19s. 8d., as
4l. 15s. 9d. had come in yesterday, and a few shillings had
been left before.
June 10, Monday. Though on Saturday all our neces-
sities were comfortably supplied, yet I had then NOT ONE
PENNY left. Our Heavenly Father, however, having given
us grace to trust in him, and not to be anxiously concerned
about Monday, gave us, even late on Saturday evening, a
proof of his loving tender care over us. The labourers
met, as usual, on Saturday evening for prayer, and we con-
tinued in prayer from a little after seven till about nine
o'clock. After we had separated, a sister, who had been
waiting at the Infant-Orphan-House, till our prayer was
over, gave 4s., saying that she had intended to give it to
me on the Lord’s-day morning, but had felt herself stirred
up to bring it that evening.—Nothing came in yesterday.
I met this morning with some of the labourers again for
prayer, as I have now been doing daily for about a fort-
might, and we again asked the Lord for help, with regard
to the writing of the Report, that he would let his bless-
ing rest upon it, bless the intended public meetings, when
the account of the Lord’s dealings with us will be given,
convert the children, give the needful grace and wisdom
to us who are engaged in the work, give us means for the
Day-Schools, means for ordering a quantity of oatmeal
from Scotland, for colouring down the Orphan-Houses,
for the supply of the present need, etc. There was only
the 4s. in hand for the need of to-day, which I had reason
to believe would be about 21. Now see the Lord’s help !
Just now, at eleven o’clock, when the letter bag is brought
for the money for to-day’s need, I receive in it 27.7s. 8d.,
which had been taken by brother R. B. out of the boxes
in the Orphan-Houses, and half-a-sovereign, which had
been sent by a brother in Suffolk. Thus we have 37.1s. 3d.,
whilst only il. 15s. is needed to-day. In the course of
reading the holy scriptures in my family this morning
came the word: “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek,
A.D. 1844.] 573
and ye shall find ; knock, and it shall be opened unto
you.” (Matth. vii. 7.) I pleaded this word especially
with the Lord, while I was again praying, after the family
prayer was over, with some of the labourers; and surely
he has proved afresh that he acts according to his word.—
Evening. The Lord sent still further help to-day. This
afternoon a person called at the Infant-Orphan-House,
and gave 7s., and two ladies met the governess at the
Infant-Orphan-House in the street, and gave her a paper,
directed to me, which contained 10s. 2s. was also given
by a person at Clifton.
June 12. By what had come in on the 10th we were
supplied yesterday and also to-day, and I had three pence
left, after I had sent off to the matrons of the four houses
what they needed. I then gave myself to prayer with
some of the labourers for the supplies of the present need,
mentioning again before the Lord all the many things for
which we need his help. About one hour after, I received
10s. for the Orphans from a brother of Guernsey, who
has been staying a few days in Bristol.
June 13. Last evening came in still further, by the
sale of articles, 2s. 8d. ; and 6s. 4d. by the sale of some
musk plants, which two sisters in the Lord rear and sell
for the benefit of the Orphans; and this morning I received
7s. 11d., being six donations. Tikewise two small silver
coins were given me, and 11.15s. 3d. I received by the
sale of articles.
June 14. There came in still further last evening 5s.,
and this morning by the boxes in the Orphan-Houses
18s. 9d. This evening 11.10s. was sent with an Orphan,
from Carne in Suffolk.
June 18. As only 13s. had come in on the 16th and
17th, we were now extremely poor; but the Lord looked
upon our necessity, for 5l. was sent by a Christian lady at
Scarborough, who seems to take much interest in the
Orphans, and a person from Manchester gave 11.
June 22, Saturday evening. Only is. came in the day
before yesterday, and 2s. 6d. was taken this morning out
of the boxes in the Orpham-Houses.—This has been one
of those weeks, in which I have prayed particularly much
for means, and in which the Lord seemed little to regard
my requests. But my soul, through grace, has been in
perfect peace, being fully assured, that he in his own good
574 [A.D. 1844.
time will again send larger supplies. In every way we
are now very poor, and it seems desirable that we should
have large sums to meet the present circumstances. After
much prayer the Lord has closed the week with fresh proofs
of his loving tender care over the work, which has been a
great refreshment to my spirit. There came in this even-
ing, between eight and mine o'clock: by sale of stockings
9s., by sale of other articles 11. 8s. 7d., by a donation from
an Irish sister 5s, and a physician in Bristol kindly sent
me 2!., and his little children 4s.-How can my soul suf-
ficiently praise the Lord for his tender mercies and his
readiness to hear the prayers of his servant All these
fresh deliverances in the hour of great need show most
clearly, that it is only for the trial of our faith, for our
profit, for the profit of others who may hear of it, and for
the glory of the Lord, that he sometimes seems not to
regard our petitions.
June 24, Monday. Yesterday came in by donations
14s. 8d., anonymously was put into the Chapel boxes 1s.,
and 3s. was given to me as the produce of the sale of musk
plants. To-day two Orphans were brought from Bath;
for though we are so poor, the work goes forward, and
children are received as long as there is room. The person
who brought them put two sovereigns into the boxes at
the Orphan-Houses. Thus we have again, with what came
in on Saturday evening, more than is needed for to-day
and to-morrow.
June 25. To-day I received, from a sister in the Lord
in Scotland, 10l., to be used as most needed, of which I
took one-half for the Orphans, and the other half for the
other objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution.
Thus, in our great need, the Lord supplies us from day to
day, and hears our prayers, which we daily bring to him,
though there have not yet come in larger sums for oat-
meal, salary of the labourers in the Orphan-Houses, colour-
ing down the four houses, etc.; but the Lord in his own
time will send means for these expenses also.
June 29. Day after day our great poverty continues;
yet day after day the Lord helps us, This evening was
received from the neighbourhood of Bideford 7s. 6d., a
chess board, and a gold pin. There came in also by the
sale of articles 11. 8s. 3d., and by Reports 1s.
June 30. This evening I received 101, between nine
A.D. 1844.] 575
and ten o’clock, at a time of the greatest poverty, from a
brother to whom I had been paying some money, due to
him to-morrow. A little boy likewise gave mé 6d. this
evening, and from a sister I received this morning 10s.
July 3. On the 1st came in 2s., and to-day by the
boxes in the Orphan-Houses 2s. 10d., by sale of articles
1s. 9d., and from Suffolk was sent a donation of 21. 10s.
July 7. It is now about six weeks since I have been
daily entreating the Lord, both alone and with some of
my fellow labourers, that he would be pleased to send us
the supplies which we required, both to meet the ordinary
and extraordinary expenses. Of late we have been also
especially asking the Lord, that he would be pleased to
send a rich supply before the public meetings, (which will
commence, if the Lord will, on the 15th) in order that it
may be seen that without public meetings, and without
publishing fresh Reports, we are yet able, by faith and
prayer, to draw down help from the living God. As to
ourselves, through grace we should be able to lean upon
the Lord, and expect help from him, though not another
Report were written, nor another public meeting held, at
which the account about his dealings with us is given.
We have given proof of this, in that when the year was up
on May 10, 1843, no Report was published, and no meet-
ings on the subject were held; and also when the second
year had passed away, I still did not publish another
account, because a weakness in one of my eyes seemed to
point it out that the Lord’s time had not yet come,although
by forcing the matter I might even then have written the
Report. But whilst I do not write the Reports for the
sake of obtaining money, nor give the account of the
Lord's dealings with us at the public meetings for the sake
of influencing persons to help us with their means, nor do
so for the sake of exposing our poverty; yet some persons
might think so. Our prayer, therefore, had been particu-
larly, that the Lord not only would be pleased to give us
what we required day by day, but that he would also send
in again largely, in order to show that he was willing to
hear our prayers, and influence the minds of his children
who have the means, to contribute considerably, though it
was now more than two years since the last Report was
ublished. Not that we were anxiously concerned even
about this: for in the whole work we desire to stand with
576 [A.D. 1844.
God, and not to depend upon the favourable or unfavour-
able judgment of the multitude ; yet our souls longed, in
pity to those who might seek an occasion, that even the
shadow of ground might be cut off for persons to say :
“They cannot get any more money, and therefore they
now publish another Report.” My soul, therefore, had
assurance that the Lord not only would supply our need
up to the time when the accounts were closed and the
public meetings would be held; but also that he would
send in means more largely than he had done for some
time past. And thus it was. When on Saturday evening,
July 6th, more money was needed than there was in hand,
I received about eight o’clock a post-office order for 21.
from Jersey, of which half is for the Orphans and half
for the other objects. There came in also at the same
time 4s. 9d. by sale of articles. I received likewise at the
same time a small paper box by post containing: 4 mourn-
ing rings (of fine stamped gold), 8 other gold rings, a gold
seal, a gold locket, a pearl necklace, 2 brooches, a gold
watch key, and a few other little things. This was a valu-
able donation, but doubly so under our circumstances.
And now to-day A. B. sent 50l., of which I took one half
for the Orphans, and the other half for the other funds.
Besides the reasons just referred to, why this donation is
so seasonable, I would only mention one more: The brother
who kindly procures the oatmeal for us in Scotland, had
written to say, that he had just now some which was very
good, if we liked to have it. We could not say we needed
none, for by the time it could be sent our meal would be
gone: nothing therefore remained but to continue waiting
On the Lord for means. And now, when we needed to
send an answer, this 50l. came, so that we were able to
order a ton of oatmeal.-1s. besides came in this day.
July 14. This is the last day before the accounts are
closed, and this day also the Lord has sent in liberally.
Being thus helped day by day up to the last moment of
this period, we go on cheerfully to the next, leaning upon
the Lord.
It is scarcely needful to state at the close of these
details, with reference to the last two years and nine weeks,
that notwithstanding our having been often poor, and
very poor, yet the children in the Orphan-Houses have
always had the needful articles of clothing and mourish-
A.D. 1844.] . 577
ing food; indeed this is sufficiently proved by the healthy
countenances of the children. Should any one question,
that the children are provided with what they need, he
may at any time have the proof of it, by seeing the child-
ren at their meals, inspecting their clothes, &c. But
those who know what it is to walk in the fear of God,
know also, that God would not help us, in answer to our
prayers, if we hypocritically stated that the children were
well provided with wholesome food, etc., and yet it were
not true. Rather than keep the Orphans, whilst we were
unable to provide for them, we would send them at once
back to their relations.
On July 14, 1844, it was two years and nine weeks since
the last public account about the Scriptural Knowledge
Institution was given. In that last Report it was stated,
that we desired to leave it to the Lord’s direction, as to
the time when another should be published. When the
year was expired, I saw no particular reason, to lead me
to think that I ought to serve the Church of Christ by
publishing a fresh Narrative about the Orphan-Houses
and the other objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institu-
tion, neither did I see a leading of the Lord towards this
service; and soon after, it pleased the Lord to call me to
labour in Germany. Having returned in March, 1844, it
appeared to me desirable now to publish, at the close of
the second year, which would be up on May 10, 1844, a
fresh account: partly, because of the 5000 Reports, which
had been printed, only a few copies were remaining;
partly, because many believers expressed a great desire
for some further account of the Lord's dealings with us
in the work; partly, because there was now an abundance
of profitable matter ready to be communicated; and most
of all, because I was longing to show by a public audited
account, that the considerable sums, with which I had
been intrusted, had been appropriated according to the
intention of the donors. But much as I desired, for the
above reasons, to have written the Report then, the weak-
ness in one of my eyes already mentioned prevented my
doing so, till at last, my eye being better, I was enabled
to do so.
I now add a few particulars with reference to the opera-
tions of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution, for home
and abroad, from May 10, 1842, to July 14, 1844. During
T} ]) D
578 - [A.D. 1844.
this period also six Day-Schools for poor children were
supported by the funds of this Institution. Besides this,
the rent for the school-room of a seventh school, which
was carried on by a sister who is known to us, was paid
during a great part of this period, and also occasional
other assistance was given to this and two other schools.-
The number of all the children that had schooling in the
Day-Schools, through the medium of the Institution, from
March 5, 1834, to July 14, 1844, amounts to 3319. The
number of those in the six Day-Schools on July 14, 1844,
was 338.
During this period likewise, one Sunday-School was
supported by the funds of the Institution.
The number of adults that were instructed from Jan.
1841, to July 14, 1844, in the two adult schools of the
Institution, amounts to 734 persons. The average attend-
ance during the winter was from 50 to 70 persons, and in
the summer from 20 to 40. The number on the list of
adult scholars was on July, 14, 1844, eighty persons.
Books, writing materials, and instruction, are given en-
tirely gratis to the adult scholars.
The number of Bibles and Testaments which were cir-
culated from May 10, 1842, to July 14, 1844, is as
follows:–237 Bibles were sold, and 284 Bibles were given
away to poor individuals, schools, missionary stations, etc.
146 New Testaments were sold, and 162 New Testaments
were given away to poor individuals, schools, missionary
stations, etc.—From March 5, 1834, to July 14, 1844,
there were circulated four thousand eight hundred and
twenty-eight Bibles, and three thousand three hundred
and fifty-seven New Testaments.
From May 10, 1842, to July 14, 1844, was laid out for
missionary objects the sum of 234l. 8s. 6d., whereby
assistance was rendered to the work of God in Jamaica,
in Demerara, in Upper Canada, in the East Indies, in
the Mauritius, and in Switzerland.
From May 10, 1842, to July 14, 1844, was laid out for
the circulation of tracts the sum of 431. 9s. 14d. During
this period were circulated thirty-nine thousand four hun-
dred and seventy-three tracts, and altogether were circu-
lated from Nov. 19, 1840, to July 14, 1844, fifty-nine
thousand and eighty-two tracts. .
From May 10, 1842, to July 14, 1844, there were re-
A.D. 1844.] 579
ceived into the four Orphan-Houses, 39 Orphans, who,
together with those who were in the houses on May 10,
1842, made up 125 in all. Of these : 1, One girl left the
Institution against our will. Her aunt repeatedly applied
to me to have her niece, who, having been more than
eight years under our care, was now of use to her. I
remonstrated with the aunt, and sought to show her the
importance of leaving her niece with us for another
twelvemonth, when she would be fit to be sent out to ser-
vice; but all in vain. At last, knowing how exceedingly
injurious her house would be for her niece, I told the aunt
that I could not conscientiously dismiss the girl to go to
her house; but the aunt’s influence induced the orphan
to leave. May God, in tender mercy, visit the soul of
this poor wanderer | Such cases are trying, very trying,
but even concerning them faith contains a precious anti-
dote. 2, Two of the children were removed by their
friends, who by that time were able to provide for them.
3, One girl, who was received when grown up, we were
obliged, after a long season of trial, to send back to her
relations, in mercy to the other children. 4, Three girls
were sent out to service, all three as believers, and in
fellowship with the saints. 5, Three Orphans died, one
as an infant, and two in the faith. One had been more
than two years in church fellowship, and had walked con-
sistently. 6, Four boys were apprenticed, two of whom
had been several years in church fellowship, before their
apprenticeship.
There were on July 14, 1844, one hundred and twenty-
one Orphans in the four houses, i. e. in the Girls'-Orphan-
House thirty, in the Infant-Orphan-House twenty-nine,
in the Boys'-Orpham-House thirty-three, and in the new
Girls'-Orphan-House (opened in July, 1843) twenty-
nine. Besides this the four apprentices were still sup-
ported by the funds of the Institution, so that the total
number was 125. The number of the Orphans who were
under our care from April 1836, to July 14, 1844, amounts
to 183. -
I notice further the following points in connexion with
the Orphan-Houses.
I. Without any one having been persºnally applied to
for any thing by me, the sum of 7748l. 16s. 4; d. was
given to me as the result of prayer to God, from Dec.
D D D 2
580 [A.D. 1844.
1835, to July 14, 1844. 2. Besides this, also, many
articles of clothing, furniture, provisions, etc., were given.
3. During these two years and two months we had very
little sickness, comparatively, in the four houses, though
there was so much fever in Bristol. I mention this to the
praise of the Lord, who so mercifully preserved us.
The total of the income for the Orphan-Houses, from
May 10, 1842, to July 14, 1844, was 24891. 0s. 7#d., leav-
ing a balance of 17, 11s. 11%d. in hand on July 14, 1844.—
The total of the income for the other objects, from May
10, 1842, to July 14, 1844, was 1164l. 18s. 4d., leaving
a balance of 20l. 12s. 7d. in hand on July 14, 1844.
I cannot omit mentioning that between May 10, 1842,
and July 14, 1844, there was admitted to communion one
of the Sunday-School children, and one of the Day-School
children. Likewise 6 more of the Orphans were received
into church fellowship, so that up to July 14, 1844, alto-
gether 29 of the Orphans had been admitted. In addition
to this, between May 10, 1842, and July 14, 1844, one
Orphan, before being received, died in the faith, and an-
other, though but nine years of age, would have been
received, had she not been just then removed by her rela-
tives, who took her with them to America. But whilst
we desire to receive these instances as precious encourage-
ments from the Lord to continue our service, we cannot
but believe, judging from the many prayers the Lord gives
us for the dear children and adults under our care and
instruction, that that which we see is but an earnest of a
far larger harvest in the day of Christ's appearing.—
The greatest present visible blessing, which is resting
upon the work, consists in what the Lord is pleased to do
through the Narratives which are written and published
respecting it ; for a very considerable number, in various
parts of the world, have through them either been con-
verted, or, as believers, led on in the knowledge of God.
To avoid misunderstanding, it may be well to insert the
following paragraph, which was written by my beloved
brother and fellow labourer Henry Craik, and appended
to the last Report.
“Hitherto my name has been appended to the Report
along with that of my beloved brother and fellow labourer
George Müller; but, as the responsibility and manage-
ment of the work devolve entirely upon him, it has seemed
A.D. 1844.] 581
well to both of us, that, for the future, his signature should
appear alone.—It is scarcely needful to add, that this
alteration does not arise from any kind of disunion or
even difference of judgment between us. I would espe-
cially recommend to the people of God, into whose hands
this brief Narrative may fall, to read, examine and ponder
the instructive facts and principles herein stated and illus-
trated; and I desire that the non-insertion of my name
may not be understood as implying any thing like a dis-
approval of the way in which the Scriptural Knowledge
Institution has been conducted from the beginning. As
the honour of being the instrument in this great and
blessed work belongs to him, and, in no degree, to me, I
feel a satisfaction in the omission of my name, lest, other-
wise, I should even appear to glory in ‘another man's
labour.”
BIENTRY CRAIK.”
Thus far only, for the present at least, do I think it
well to continue the accounts of the Lord’s dealings with
me. But I cannot conclude this third part, without add-
ing some hints on a few passages of the word of God,
both because I have so very frequently found them little
regarded by christians, and also because I have proved
their preciousness, in some measure, in my own experi-
ence; and therefore wish that all my fellow saints may
share the blessing with me.
I. In Matthew vi. 19—21, it is written: “Lay not up
for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust
doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal;
but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where
neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves
do not break through nor steal: for where your treasure
is, there will your heart be also.”—Observe, dear Reader,
the following points concerning this part of the divine
testimony: 1, It is the Lord Jesus, our Lord and Master,
who speaks this as the lawgiver of his people. He who
has infinite wisdom and unfathomable love to us, who there-
fore both knows what is for our real welfare and happi-
ness, and who cannot exact from us any requirement
inconsistent with that love which led him to lay down his
life for us. Remembering, then, who it is who speaks to
us in these verses, let us consider them. 2, His counsel,
D D D 3
582 [A.D. 1844.
his affectionate entreaty, and his commandment to us his
disciples is: “Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon
earth.” The meaning obviously is, that the disciples of
the Lord Jesus, being strangers and pilgrims on earth,
i. e. neither belonging to the earth nor expecting to remain
in it, should not seek to increase their earthly possessions,
in whatever these possessions may consist. This is a word
for poor believers as well as for rich believers; it has as
much a reference to putting shillings into the savings’
bank as to putting thousands of pounds into the funds, or
purchasing one house, or one farm after another.—It may
be said, but does not every prudent and provident person
seek to increase his means, that he may have a goodly
portion to leave to his children, or to have something for
old age, or for the time of sickness, etc. P. My reply is, it
is quite true that this is the custom of the world. It was
thus in the days of our Lord, and Paul refers to this cus-
tom of the world when he says, “The children ought not
to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children.”
2 Cor. xii. 14. But whilst thus it is in the world, and we
have every reason to believe ever will be so among those
that are of the world, and who therefore have their por-
tion on earth, we disciples of the Lord Jesus, being born
again, being the children of God not nominally, but really,
being truly partakers of the divine nature, being in fellow-
ship with the Father and the Son, and having in prospect
“an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that
fadeth not away” (1 Peter i.4), ought in every respect to
act differently from the world, and so in this particular
also. If we disciples of the Lord Jesus seek, like the
people of the world, after an increase of our possessions,
may not those who are of the world justly question
whether we believe what we say, when we speak about
our inheritance, our heavenly calling, our being the child-
ren of God, etc. P. Often it must be a sad stumbling
block to the unbeliever to see a professed believer in the
Lord Jesus acting in this particular just like himself.
Consider this, dear brethren in the Lord, should this
remark apply to you.-I have more than once had the
following passage quoted to me as a proof that parents
ought to lay up money for their children, or husbands for
their wives: “But if any provide not for his own, and
especially for those of his own house (or kindred), he
A.D. 1844.] 583
hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” 1 Tim.
v. 8. It is, however, concerning this verse only needful,
in childlike simplicity to read the connexion from verse 3
to 5, and it will be obvious that the meaning is this, that
whilst the poor widows of the church are to be cared for
by the church, yet if any such needy believing widow had
children or grandchildren (not nephews), these children or
grandchildren should provide for the widow, that the
church might not be charged; but that, if a believer's
child, or grandchild, in such a case did not do so, such a
one did not act according to the obligations laid upon
him by his holy faith, and was worse than an unbeliever.
Not a word, then, is there in this passage to favour the
laying up treasures upon earth for our children, or our
wives. 3, Our Lord says about the earth, that it is a
place “where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where
thieves break through and steal.” All that is of the earth,
and in any way connected with it, is subject to corruption,
to change, to dissolution. There is no reality, or sub-
stance, in any thing else but in heavenly things. Often
the careful amassing of earthly possessions ends in losing
them in a moment by fire, by robbery, by a change of
mercantile concerns, by loss of work, etc.; but suppose all
this were not the case, still, yet a little while, and thy
soul shall be required of thee; or, yet a little while, and
the Lord Jesus will return ; and what profit shalt thou
then have, dear reader, if thou hast carefully sought to
increase thy earthly possessions P My brother, if there
were one particle of real benefit to be derived from it,
would not he, whose love to us has been proved to the
uttermost, have wished that you and I should have it P
If, in the least degree, it could tend to the increase of our
peace, or joy in the Holy Ghost, or heavenly-mindedness,
he, who laid down his life for us, would have commanded
us, to “LAY UP treasure upon earth.” 4, Our Lord,
however, does not merely bid us, not to lay up treasure
upon earth; for if he had said no more, this his command-
ment might be abused, and persons might find in it an
encouragement for their extravagant habits, for their love
of pleasure, for their habit of spending every thing they
have, or can obtain upon themselves. It does not mean,
then, as is the common phrase, that we should “live up
to our income;” for, he adds: “But lay up for yourselves
584 [A.D. 1844.
treasures in heaven.” There is such a thing as laying up
as truly in heaven as there is laying up on earth; if it
were not so, our Lord would not have said so. Just as
persons put one sum after another into the bank, and it
is put down to their credit, and they may use the money
afterwards: so truly the penny, the shilling, the pound,
the hundred pounds, the ten thousand pounds, given for
the Lord's sake, and constrained by the love of Jesus, to
poor brethren, or in any way spent in the work of God,
he marks down in the book of remembrance, he considers
as laid up in heaven. The money is not lost, it is laid up
in the bank of heaven; yet so, that whilst an earthly bank
may break, or through earthly circumstances we may lose
our earthly possessions, the money which is thus secured
in heaven cannot be lost. But this is by no means the
only difference. I notice a few more points. Treasures
laid up on earth bring along with them many cares; trea-
sures laid up in heaven never give care. Treasures laid
up on earth never can afford spiritual joy; treasures laid up
in heaven bring along with them peace and joy in the Holy
Ghost even now. Treasures laid up on earth, in a dying
hour cannot afford peace and comfort, and when life is
over, they are taken from us ; treasures laid up in heaven
draw forth thanksgiving that we were permitted and
counted worthy to serve the Lord with the means with
which he was pleased to intrust us as stewards, and when
this life is over we are not deprived of what was laid up
there, but when we go to heaven we go to the place where
our treasures are, and we shall find them there. Often
we hear it said when a person has died: he died worth so
much. But whatever be the phrases common in the world,
it is certain that a person may die worth fifty thousand
pounds sterling, as the world reckons, and yet that indi-
vidual may not possess, in the sight of God, one thousand
pounds sterling, because he was not rich towards God, he
did not lay up treasure in heaven. And so on the other
hand, we can suppose a man of God falling asleep in Jesus,
and his surviving widow finding scarcely enough left
behind him to suffice for the funeral, who was nevertheless
ºrich towards God; in the sight of God he may possess five
thousand pounds sterling, he may have laid up that sum
in heaven. Dear Reader, does your soul long to be rich
towards God, to lay up treasures in heaven? The world
A.D. 1844.] - 585
passes away and the lust thereof. Yet a little while, and
our stewardship will be taken from us. At present we
have the opportunity of serving the Lord with our time,
our talents, our bodily strength, our gifts, and also with
our property; but shortly this opportunity may cease.
Oh! how shortly may it cease. Before ever this is read
by any one, I may have fallen asleep; and the very next
day after you have read this, dear Reader, you may fall
asleep, and, therefore, whilst we have the opportunity, let
us serve the Lord.—I believe, and therefore I speak. My
own soul is so fully assured of the wisdom and love of the
Lord towards us his disciples as expressed in this word,
that by his grace I do most heartily set my seal to the
preciousness of the command, and I do from my inmost
soul not only desire not to lay up treasures upon earth,
but, believing as I do what the Lord says, I do desire to
have grace to lay up treasures in heaven. And then, Sup-
pose after a little while you should fall asleep, some one
may say, your wife and child will be unprovided for,
because you did not make a provision for them. M
reply is, the Lord will take care of them. The Lord will
abundantly provide for them, as he now abundantly pro-
vides for us. 5, The Lord lastly adds: “IFor where your
treasure is, there will your heart be also.” Where should
the heart of the disciple of the Lord Jesus be, but in hea-
ven P Our calling is a heavenly calling, our inheritance is
a heavenly inheritance, and reserved for us in heaven; our
citizenship is in heaven; but if we believers in the Lord
Jesus lay up treasures on earth, the necessary result of it
is, that our hearts will be upon earth; nay, the very fact
of our doing so proves, that they are there ! Nor will it
be otherwise, till there be a ceasing to lay up treasures
upon earth. The believer who lays up treasures upon
earth may, at first, not live openly in sin, he in a measure
may yet bring some honour to the Lord in certain things;
but the injurious tendencies of this habit will show them-
selves more and more, whilst the habit of laying up trea-
sures in heaven would draw the heart more and more
heavenward; would be continually strengthening his new,
his divine nature, his spiritual faculties, because it would
call his spiritual faculties into use, and thus they would
be strengthened; and he would more and more, whilst yet
in the body, have his heart in heaven, and set upon hea-

586 [A.D. 1844.
venly things; and thus the laying up treasures in heaven
would bring along with it, even in this life, precious spi-
ritual blessings as a reward of obedience to the command-
ment of our Lord.
II. The next passage, on which I desire to make a
few remarks, is Matthew vi. 33. “But seek ye first the
kingdom of God and his righteousness; and all these
things shall be added unto you.” After our Lord, in the
previous verses, had been pointing his disciples “to the
fowls of the air,” and “the lilies of the field,” in order
that they should be without carefulness about the neces-
saries of life; he adds: “ Therefore take no thought,
(literally, be not anxious) saying, What shall we eat? or,
What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek;) for your
heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these
things.” Observe here particularly that we, the children
of God, should be different from the nations of the earth,
from those who have no Father in heaven, and who there-
fore make it their great business, their first anxious con-
cern, what they shall eat, and what they shall drink, and
wherewithal they shall be clothed. We, the children of
God, should, as in every other respect, so in this parti-
cular also, be different from the world, and prove to the
world that we believe that we have a Father in heaven
who knoweth that we have need of all these things. The
fact that our Almighty Father, who is full of infinite love
to us his children, (and who has proved to us his love in
the gift of his only begotten son, and his Almighty power
in raising him from the dead), knows that we have need
of these things, should remove all anxiety from our minds.
There is, however, one thing that we have to attend to,
and which we ought to attend to, with reference to our
temporal necessities, it is mentioned in our verse : “But
seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness.”
The great business which the disciple of the Lord Jesus
has to be concerned about (for this word was spoken to
disciples, to professed believers) is, to seek the kingdom
of God, i. e. to seek, as I view it, after the external and
internal prosperity of the church of Christ. If, according
to our ability, and according to the opportunity which the
Lord gives us, we seek to win souls for the Lord Jesus,
that appears to me to be seeking the external prosperity
A.D. 1844.] 587
of the kingdom of God, and if we, as members of the body
of Christ, seek to benefit our fellow members in the body,
helping them on in grace and truth, or caring for them in
any way to their edification, that would be seeking the
£nternal prosperity of the kingdom of God. But in con-
nexion with this we have also “to seek his righteousness,”
which means, (as it was spoken to disciples, to those who
have a Father in heaven, and not to those who were
without), to seek to be more and more like God, to seek
to be inwardly conformed to the mind of God.—If these
two things are attended to, (and they imply also that we are
not slothful in business), then do we come under that pre-
cious promise: “And all these things (that is food, raiment,
or any thing else that is needful for this present life), shall
be added unto you.” It is not for attending to these two
things that we obtain the blessing, but in attending to
them.
I now ask you, my dear Reader, a few questions in all
love, because I do seek your welfare, and I do not wish to
put these questions to you, without putting them first to
my own heart. Do you make it your primary business,
your first great concern to seek the kingdom of God and
his righteousness? Are the things of God, the honour of
his name, the Welfare of his church, the conversion of sin-
ers, and the profit of your own soul, your chief aim 2 Or
does your business, or your family, or your own temporal
concerns, in some shape or other primarily occupy your
attention P. If the latter be the case, then, though you
may have all the necessaries of life, yet could you be sur-
prised if you had them not ? Remember that the world
passeth away, but that the things of God endure for ever.
I never knew a child of God who acted according to the
above passage, in whose experience the Lord did not fulfil
his word of promiso “All these things shall be added unto
rou.”
III. The third portion of the divine testimony on which
I desire to throw out a few hints, is in 1 John i. 3. “And
truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son
Jesus Christ.” Observe 1, The words “fellowship,”
“communion,” “coparticipation,” and “partnership,”
mean the same. 2, The believer in the Lord Jesus does
not only obtain forgiveness of all his sins (as he does
through the shedding of the blood of Jesus, by faith in his
588 [A.D. 1844.
name;) does not only become a righteous one before God
(through the righteousness of the Lord Jesus, by faith in
his name;) is not only begotten again, born of God, and par-
taker of the divine nature, and therefore a child of God,
and an heir of God; but he is also in fellowship or part-
nership with God. Now, so far as it regards God, and our
standing in the Lord Jesus, we have this blessing once for
all; nor does it allow of either an increase or a decrease.
Just as God’s love to us believers, his children, is unal-
terably the same (whatever may be the manifestations of
that love;) and as his peace with us is the same, (however
much our peace may be disturbed ) so it is also with
regard to our being in fellowship or partnership with him :
it remains unalterably the same so far as God is concerned.
J3ut then 3, there is an eagerimental fellowship, or part-
nership, with the Father and with his Son, which consists
in this, that all which we possess in God, as being the
partners or fellows of God, is brought down into our daily
life, is enjoyed, experienced, and used. This experimental
fellowship, or partnership, allows of an increase or a de-
crease, in the measure in which faith is in exercise, and in
which we are entering into what we have received in the
Ilord Jesus. The measure in which we enjoy this eaſperi-
mental fellowship with the Father and with the Son is with-
out limit; for without limit we may make useof our partner-
ship with the Father and with the Son, and draw by prayer
and faith out of the inexhaustible fulness which there is in
God.—Let us now take a few instances in order to see
the practical working of this eagerimental fellowship (or
partnership) with the Father, and with the Son. Suppose
there are two believing parents who were not brought to
the knowledge of the truth until some years after the Lord
had given them several children. Their children were
brought up in sinful, evil ways, whilst the parents did not
know the Lord. Now the parents reap as they sowed.
They suffer from having set an evil example before their
children, for their children are unruly and behave most
improperly. What is now to be done P. Need such parents
despair P No. The first thing they have to do is, to make
confession of their sins to God, with regard to neglecting
their children whilst they were themselves living in sin,
and then to remember that they are in partnership with
God, and therefore to be of good courage, though they
are in than selves si ºil fºrlº. ii., §ificient for ºl, a thisk of
A.D. 1844.] 589
managing their children. They have in themselves neither
the wisdom, nor the patience, nor the long-suffering, nor
the gentleness, nor the meekness, nor the love, nor the
decision and firmness, nor anything else that may be need-
ful in dealing with their children aright. But their hea-
venly Father has all this. The Lord Jesus possesses all
this. And they are in partnership with the Father, and
with the Son, and therefore they can obtain by prayer and
faith all they need out of the fulness of God. I say by
prayer and faith ; for we have to make known our need to
God in prayer, ask his help, and then we have to believe
that he will give us what we need. Prayer alone is not
enough. We may pray never so much, yet if we do
not believe that God will give us what we need, we have
no reason to expect that we shall receive what we have
asked for. So then these parents would need to ask God
to give them the needful wisdom, patience, long-suffering,
gentleness, meekness, love, decision, and firmness, and
whatever else they may judge they need. They may in
humble boldness remind their heavenly Father that his
word assures them that they are in partnership with him,
and, as they themselves are lacking in these particulars,
ask him to be pleased to supply their need; and then they
have to believe that God will do it, and they shall receive
according to their need.—Another instance: Suppose I
am so situated in my business that day by day such diffi-
culties arise, that I continually find that I take wrong
steps, by reason of these great difficulties. How may the
case be altered for the better P In myself I see no remedy
for the difficulties. In looking at myself I can expect
nothing but to make still further mistakes, and, therefore,
trial upon trial seems to be before me. And yet I need
not despair. The living God is my partner. I have not
sufficient wisdom to meet these difficulties so as to be
able to know what steps to take, but he is able to direct
me. What I have, therefore, to do is this: in simplicity
to spread my case before my heavenly Father and my
Lord Jesus. The Father and the Son are my partners.
I have to tell out my heart to God, and to ask him, that
as he is my partner, and I have no wisdom in myself to
meet all the many difficulties which continually occur in
my business, he would be pleased to guide and direct me,
and to supply me with the needful wisdom; and then I
- E F I.
590 [A.D. 1844.
have to believe that God will do so, and go with good
courage to my business, and eaſpect help from him in the
next difficulty that may come before me. I have to look
out for guidance, I have to eanect counsel from the Lord;
and as assuredly as I do so, I shall have it, I shall find
that I am not nominally, but really, in partnership with
the Father and with the Son.—Another instance : There
is a father and mother with seven small children. Both
parents are believers. The father works in a manufactory,
but cannot earn more than ten shillings per week. The
mother cannot earn any thing. These ten shillings are
too little for the supply of nourishing and wholesome food
for seven growing children and their parents, and for pro-
viding them with the other necessaries of life. What is
to be done in such a case? Surely not to find fault with
the manufacturer, who may not be able to afford more
wages, and much less to murmur against God; but the
parents have in simplicity to tell God, their partner, that
the wages of ten shillings a week are not sufficient in Eng-
land to provide nine persons with all they need, so as that
their health be not injured. They have to remind God
that he is not a hard master, not an unkind being, but a
most loving Father, who has abundantly proved the love
of his heart in the gift of his only begotten Son. And
they have in childlike simplicity to ask him, that either he
would order it so, that the manufacturer may be able to
allow more wages; or that he (the Lord) would find them
another place, where the father would be able to earn
more; or that he would be pleased somehow or other, as
it may seem good to him, to supply them with more
means. They have to ask the Lord, in childlike simpli-
city, again and again for it, if he does not answer their
request at once ; and they have to believe that God, their
Father and partner, will give them the desire of their
hearts. They have to eagect an answer to their prayers;
day by day they have to look out for it, and to repeat their
request till God grants it. As assuredly as they believe
that God will grant them their request, so assuredly it
shall be granted.—Thus, suppose, I desired more power
over my besetting sins; suppose, I desired more power
against certain temptations; suppose, I desired more wis-
dom, or grace, or any thing else that I may need in my
service among the saints, or in my service towards the
unconverted : what have I to do but to make use of my
A.D. 1844.] 591
being in fellowship with the Father and with the Son P
Just as, for instance, an old faithful clerk, who is this day
taken into partnership by an immensely rich firm, though
himself altogether without property, would not be dis-
couraged by reason of a large payment having to be made
by the firm within three days, though he himself has no
money at all of his own, but would comfort himself with
the immense riches possessed by those who so generously
have just taken him into partnership : so should we, the
children of God and servants of Jesus Christ, comfort our-
selves by being in fellowship, or partnership, with the
Father, and with the Son, though we have no power of
our own against our besetting sins; though we cannot
withstand temptations, which are before us, in our own
strength; and though we have neither sufficient grace nor
wisdom for our service among the saints, or towards the
unconverted. All we have to do is, to draw upon our
partner, the living God. By prayer and faith we may
obtain all needful temporal and spiritual help and bless-
ings. In all simplicity have we to tell out our heart before
God, and then we have to believe that he will give to us
according to our need. But if we do not believe that God
will help us, could we be at peace P The clerk, taken into
the firm as partner, believes that the firm will meet the
payment, though so large, and though in three days it is
to be made, and it is this that keeps his heart quiet, though
altogether poor himself. We have to believe that our
infinitely rich partner, the living God, will help us in our
need, and we shall not only be in peace, but we shall actu-
ally find that the help which we need will be granted to
us.-Let not the consciousness of your entire unworthi-
ness keep you, dear reader, from believing what God has
said concerning you. If you are indeed a believer in the
Lord Jesus, then this precious privilege, of being in part-
nership with the Father and the Son, is yours, though
you and I are entirely unworthy of it. If the conscious-
ness of our unworthiness were to keep us from believing
what God has said concerning those who depend upon
and trust in the Lord Jesus for salvation, then we should
find that there is not one single blessing, with which we
have been blessed in the Lord Jesus, from which, on
account of our unworthiness, we could derive any settled
comfort or peace.
E E E 2
592 [A.D. 1844.
IV. There is one other point which, in connexion with
several portions of the word of God, which bear on the
subject, I desire to bring before the believing reader, and
it refers to the “scriptural way of overcoming the diffi-
culties with which the believer now meets who is engaged
in a business, trade, profession, or any earthly calling
whatever, which arise from competition in business, too
great a number of persons being occupied in the same
calling, stagnation of trade and the like.” The children
of God, who are strangers and pilgrims on earth, have at
all times had difficulty in the world, for they are not at
home but from home; nor should they, until the return of
the Lord Jesus, expect it to be otherwise with them.
But whilst this is true, it is also true that the Lord has
provided us in all our difficulties with something in his
own word to meet them. All difficulties may be over-
come by acting according to the word of God. At this
time I more especially desire to point out the means
whereby the children of God who are engaged in any
earthly calling may be able to overcome the difficulties,
which arise from competition in business, too great a
number of persons being occupied in the same calling,
stagnation of trade and the like.
1, The first thing which the believer who is in such
difficulties has to ask himself is, Am I in a calling in which
I can abide with God 2 If our occupation be of that kind,
that we cannot ask God’s blessing upon it, or that we
should be ashamed to be found in it at the appearing of
the Lord Jesus, or that it of necessity hinders our spiritual
progress, then we must give it up, and be engaged in
something else; but in few cases only this is needful.
Far the greater part of the occupations in which believers
are engaged are not of such a nature, as that they need to
give them up in order to maintain a good conscience, and
in order to be able to walk with God, though, perhaps,
certain alterations may need to be made in the manner of
conducting their trade, business, or profession. About
these parts of our calling, which may need alteration, we
shall receive instruction from the Lord, if we indeed desire
it, and wait upon him for it, and expect it from him.
2, Now suppose the believer is in a calling in which he
can abide with God, the next point to be settled is: “Why
do I carry on this business, or why am I engaged in this
trade or profession?” In most instances, so far as my
A.D. 1844.] 593
experience goes, which I have gathered in my service
among the saints during the last fifteen years and a half,
[i.e. in 1845, I believe the answer would be: “I am en-
gaged in my earthly calling, that I may earn the means of
obtaining the necessaries of life for myself and family.”
Here is the chief error from which almost all the rest of
the errors, which are entertained by children of God,
relative to their calling, spring. It is no right and Scrip-
tural motive, to be engaged in a trade, or business, or
profession, merely in order to earn the means for the ob-
taining of the necessaries of life for ourselves and family,
but we should work because it is the Lord's will concerning
us. This is plain from the following passages: 1. Thess. iv.
11, 12; 2 Thess. iii. 10–12; Eph. iv. 28. It is quite
true that, in general, the Lord provides the necessaries of
life by means of our ordinary calling; but that that is not
THE REASON why we should work, is plain enough from
the consideration, that if our possessing the necessaries of
life depended upon our ability of working, we could never
have freedom from anaciety, for we should always have to
say to ourselves, and what shall I do when I am too old
to work? or when by reason of sickness I am unable to
earn my bread P But if, on the other hand, we are
engaged in our earthly calling, because it is the will of the
JLord concerning us that we should work, and that thus
labouring we may provide for our families, and also be able
to support the weak, the sick, the aged, and the needy,
then we have good and scriptural reason to say to our-
selves: should it please the Lord to lay me on a bed of
sickness, or keep me otherwise by reason of infirmity, or
old age, or want of employment, from earning my bread
by means of the labour of my hands, or my business, or
my profession, he will yet provide for me. Because we
who believe are servants of Jesus Christ, who has bought
us with his own precious blood, and are not our own, and
because this our precious Lord and master has commanded
us to work, therefore we work; and in doing so our Lord
will provide for us, but whether in this way or any other
way, he is sure to provide for us; for we labour in obe-
dience to him ; and if even a just earthly master give
wages to his servants, the Lord will surely see to it that
we have our wages, if in obedience to him we are engaged
in our calling, and not for our own sake. How great the
E E E 3
594 [A.D. 1844.
difference between acting according to the word of God,
and according to our own natural desires, or the customs
of the world, will be plain, I trust, by the following case.
Suppose I were engaged in some useful trade. Suppose
I had the certain human prospect, that within the next
three months my labour would bring me in nothing, for
certain reasons connected with the state of mercantile
affairs. As a man of the world I should say, I shall not
work at all, because my labour will not be paid; but as a
christian, who desires to act according to God’s Holy word,
I ought to say: My trade is useful to society, and I will
work notwithstanding all human prospects, because the
Lord Jesus has commanded me to labour; from him and
not from my trade I expect my wages. In addition to
this the christian ought also to say, Idleness is a dreadful
snare of the devil, he has especial opportunity to get an
advantage over the children of God when they are unoc-
cupied; and, therefore, I will work though I have no
human prospect of obtaining payment for my labour, but
shall get only the cost price of the material, and shall have
to give my work for nothing. Moreover, the christian
ought to say, Though according to human probability I
shall have to labour for nothing during the next three
months, yet I will work, because the Lord may speedily
alter the state of things, contrary to all human expecta-
tion; but whether he be pleased to do so or not, I labour
because I am the Lord’s, bought by his precious blood,
and he commands me to labour.—But there are motives
still lower than to be engaged in our earthly calling merely
that we may earn the means of obtaining the necessaries
of life, why even christians, true children of God, may be
engaged in their calling, such as: to obtain a certain sum
of money, and then to retire from business and to live
upon the interest ; or, to provide something for old age ;
or, to obtain a certain amount of property, without in-
tending to give up business. If it be unscriptural to be
engaged in our calling, merely, even for the sake of earning
the means for procuring the necessaries of life for our-
selves and family, how much more unbecoming that a
child of God should be engaged in his calling for the sake
of any of the last mentioned reasons.—This second point,
then, Why do I carry on this business P , Why am I en-
gaged in this trade or profession P ought first to be settled
in the fear of God and according to the revealed will of
A.D. 1844.] 595
God; and if we cannot say in honesty of heart, I do carry
on my business, I am engaged in my trade, or art, or pro-
fession, as a servant of Jesus Christ, whose I am, because
he has bought me with his precious blood, and he has
commanded me to work, and therefore I work: I say, if
we cannot say this in honesty of heart, but must confess
that we work on account of lower motives such as, that
we may earn our bread, or on account of still lower
motives, and such as are altogether unbecoming a
child of God, who is not of the world but of God, such as,
to obtain a certain sum of money in order to be able to
live on the interest without having to work; or, to pro-
vide something for old age; or, to obtain a certain amount
of property without intending to give up business: if
these are our motives for being engaged in our calling, I
say, can we be surprised that we meet with great difficul-
ties in our business, and that the Lord in his abounding
love to us, his erring children, does not allow us to
succeed P But suppose this second point is scripturally
settled, and we can honestly say that, because we are
servants of Jesus Christ, we are occupied as we are—we
have further to consider:
3, Whether we carry on our business, or are engaged
in our trade, art, or profession, as stewards of the Lord.
To the child of God it ought not to be enough that he is
in a calling in which he can abide with God, nor that he
is engaged in his calling, because it is the will of his Lord
and master that he should work, but he should consider
himself in his trade, business, art, or profession, only as the
steward of the Lord with reference to his income. The
child of God has been bought with the precious blood
of the Lord Jesus, and is altogether his property, with all
that he possesses, his bodily strength, his mental strength,
his ability of every kind, his trade, business, art, or profes-
sion, his property, &c.; for it is written: “Ye are not
your own ; for ye are bought with a price.” I Cor. vi.
19, 20. The proceeds of our calling are therefore not
our own in the sense of using them as our natural heart
wishes us to do, whether to spend them on the gratifica-
tion of our pride, or our love of pleasure, or sensual in-
dulgences, or to lay by the money for ourselves or our
children, or use it in any way as we naturally like; but
we have to stand before our Lord and master, whose
596 [A.D. 1844.
stewards we are, to seek to ascertain his will how he will
have us use the proceeds of our calling. But is this in-
deed the spirit in which children of God generally are
engaged in their calling P. It is but too well known that
it is not the case ! Can we then wonder at it, that even
God’s own dear children should so often be found greatly
in difficulty with regard to their calling, and be found so
often complaining about stagnation or competition in
trade, and the difficulties of the times, though there have
been given to them such precious promises as: “Seek ye
first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all
these things shall be added unto you ;” or, “Let your
conversation (disposition or turn of mind) be without
covetousness; and be content with such things as ye
have : for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor for-
sake thee.” Heb. xiii. 5. Is it not obvious enough that
when our Heavenly Father sees that we his children do
or would use the proceeds of our calling, as our natural
nind would desire, that he either cannot at all intrust us
with means, or will be obliged to decrease them P No
wise and really affectionate mother will permit her infant to
play with a razor, or with fire, however much the child
may desire to have them ; and so the love and wisdom of
our Heavenly Father will not, cannot, intrust us with
pecuniary means, (eaccept it be in the way of chastisement,
or to show us finally their utter vanity,) if he sees that we
do not desire to possess them as stewards for him, in
order that we may spend them as he may point out to us
by his Holy Spirit, through his word.—In connexion with
this subject, I give a few hints to the believing reader on
three passages of the word of God. In 1 Cor. xvi. 2, we
find it written to the brethren at Corinth, “Upon the
first day of the week let every one of you lay by him in
store, as God has prospered him.” A contribution for
the poor saints in Judea was to be made, and the brethren
at Corinth were exhorted to put by every Lord's day,
according to the measure of success which the Lord had
been pleased to grant them in their calling during the
week. Now, ought not the saints in our day also to act
according to this word P. There is no passage in the word
of God, why we should not do so, and it is altogether in
accordance with our pilgrim character, not only once or
twice, or four times a year to see how much we can afford

A.D. 1844.] 597
to give to the poor saints, or to the work of God in any
way, but to seek to settle it weekly. If it be said, I
cannot ascertain how much I have gained in the course
of the week by my business, and therefore I cannot give
accordingly; my reply is this, Seek, dear brethren, as
much as possible, to bring your business upon such a
footing as that you may be able, as nearly as possible, to
settle how much you have earned in your calling in the
course of the week; but suppose you should be unable to
settle it exactly to the shilling or pound, yet you will
know pretty well how it has been with you during the
week, and therefore, according to your best knowledge,
contribute on the coming Lord's day towards the neces-
sities of the poor saints, and towards the work of God, as
he, after your having sought his guidance, may lead you.
Perhaps you say, the weeks are so unlike ; in one week
I may earn three or even ten times as much as in another
week, and if I give according to my earnings from my
calling during a very good week, then how are such weeks,
when I earn scarcely any thing, or how are the bad debts
to be met P How shall I do when sickness befalls my
family, or when other trials productive of expense come
upon me, if I do not make provision for such seasons P
My reply is, 1, I do not find in the whole New Testament
one single passage in which either directly or indirectly
exhortations are given to provide against deadness in
business, bad debts, and sickness, by laying up money.
2, Often the Lord is obliged to allow deadness in business,
or bad debts, or sickness in our family, or other trials,
which increase our expenses, to befall us, because we.do
not, as his stewards, act according to stewardship, but as if
we were owners of what we have, forgetting that the
time has not yet come when we shall enter upon our
possessions : and he does so in order that, by these losses
and expenses, our property which we have collected may
be decreased, lest we should altogether set our hearts
again upon earthly things, and forget God entirely. His
love is so great, that he will not let his children quietly
go their own way when they have forsaken him; but if his
lowing admonitions by his Holy Spirit are disregarded, he
is obliged in fatherly love to chastise them. A striking
illustration of what I have said we have in the case of
Israel nationally, The commandment to them was, to
598 [A.D. 1844.
leave their land uncultivated in the seventh year, in order
that it might rest, and the Lord promised to make up for
this deficiency by his abundant blessing resting upon the
sixth year. However, Israel acted not according to this
commandment, no doubt saying in the unbelief of their
hearts, as the Lord had foretold, “What shall we eat in
the seventh year P Behold we shall not sow, nor gather
in our increase.” Leviticus xxv. But what did the Lord do?
He was determined the land should have rest, and as the
Israelites did not willingly give it, he sent them for seventy
years into captivity, in order that thus the land might have
rest. See Leviticus xxvi. 33–35. Beloved brethren in the
Lord, let us take heed so to walk as that the Lord may
not be obliged by chastisement to take a part of our earthly
possessions from us in the way of bad debts, sickness,
decrease of business, and the like, because we would not
own our position as stewards, but act as owners, and keep
for ourselves the means with which the Lord had intrusted
us, not for the gratification of our own carnal mind, but
for the sake of using them in his service and to his praise.
It might also be said by a brother whose earnings are
Small, should I also give according to my earnings P. They
are already so small, that my wife can only with the
greatest difficulty manage to make them sufficient for
the family. My reply is: Have you ever considered, my
brother, that the very reason, why the Lord is obliged to
let your earnings remain so small, may be the fact of
your spending every thing upon yourselves, and that if
he were to give you more, you would only use it to in-
crease your own family comfort, instead of looking about
to see who among the brethren are sick, or who have no
Work at all, that you might help them, or how you might
assist the work of God at home or abroad P. There is a
great temptation for a brother whose earnings are small,
to put off the responsibility of assisting the needy and
sick Saints, or helping on the work of God, and to lay it
upon the few rich brethren and sisters with whom he is
associated in fellowship, and thus rob his own soul!—It
might be asked, How much shall I give of my income P
The tenth part, or the fifth part, or the third part, or
one-half, or more ? My reply is, God lays down no rule,
concerning this point. What we do we should do cheer-
fully and not of necessity. But if even Jacob, with the
A.D. 1844.] 599
first dawning of spiritual light, (Genesis xxviii. 22,) pro-
mised to God the tenth of all he should give to him, how
much ought we believers in the Lord Jesus to do for
him ; we, whose calling is a heavenly one, and who know
distinctly that we are children of God, and joint heirs
with the Lord Jesus ! Yet do all the children of God
give even the tenth part of what the Lord gives them P
That would be two shillings per week for the brother
who earns 11., and 4s. to him who earns 27. and 21. per
week to him whose income is 20!, per week.
In connexion with 1 Cor. xvi. 2, I would mention two
other portions: 1. “He which soweth sparingly shall
reap also sparingly ; and he that soweth bountifully shall
reap also bountifully.” 2 Cor. ix. 6. It is certain that
we children of God are so abundantly blessed in Jesus, by
the grace of God, that we ought to need no stimulus to
good works. The forgiveness of our sins, the having
been made for ever the children of God, the having before
us the Father's house as our home : these blessings ought
to be sufficient motives to constrain us, in love and grati-
tude to serve God abundantly all the days of our life, and
cheerfully also to give up, as he may call for it, that with
which he has intrusted us of the things of this world.
But whilst this is the case, the Lord nevertheless holds
out to us in his holy Word motives why we should serve
him, deny ourselves, use our property for him, etc., and
the last mentioned passage is one of that kind. The
verse is true both with reference to the life that is now
and that which is to come. If we have been sparingly
using our property for him, there will have been little
treasure laid up in heaven, and therefore a small amount
of capital will be found in the world to come, so far as it
regards reaping. Again, we shall reap bountifully if we
seek to be rich towards God, by abundantly using our
means for him, whether in ministering to the necessities
of the poor saints, or using otherwise our pecuniary
means for his work. Dear brethren, these things are
realitiesl Shortly, very shortly, will come the reaping
time, and then will be the question, whether we shall reap
sparingly or bountifully.—But while this passage refers to
the life hereafter, it also refers to the life that now is.
Just as now the love of Christ constrains us to communi-
cate of that with which the Lord intrusts us, so will be
600 [A.D. 1844.
the present reaping, both with regard to spiritual and
temporal things. Should there be found therefore in a
brother the want of entering into his position as being
merely a steward for the Lord in his calling, and should
he give no heed to the admonitions of the Holy Ghost to
communicate to those who are in need, or to help the
work of God, then, can such a brother be surprised that
he meets with great difficulties in his calling, and that he
cannot get on ? This is according to the Lord’s word.
He is sowing sparingly, and he therefore reaps sparingly,
But should the love of Christ constrain a brother, out of
the earnings of his calling to sow bountifully, he will even
in this life reap bountifully, both with regard to blessings
in his soul and with regard to temporal things. Consider
in connexion with this the following passage, which,
though taken from the Book of Proverbs, is not of a
Jewish character, but true concerning believers under
the present dispensation also: “There is that scattereth,
and yet increaseth ; and there is that withholdeth more
than is meet, but it tendeth to poverty. The liberal soul
shall be made fat: and he that watereth shall be watered
also himself.” Prov. xi. 24, 25.-In connexion with
1 Cor. xvi. 2, I would also direct my brethren in the
Lord to the promise made in Luke vi. 38, “Give, and it
shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down,
and shaken together, and running over, shall men give
into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye
mete withal it shall be measured to you again.” This
refers evidently to the present dispensation, and evidently
in its primary meaning to temporal things. Now let
any one, constrained by the love of Jesus, act according to
this passage; let him on the first day of the week com-
municate as the Lord has prospered him, and he will see
that the Lord will act according to what is contained in
this verse. If pride constrain us to give, if self-righteous-
ness make us liberal, if natural feeling induce us to com-
municate, or if we give whilst we are in a state of insol-
vency, not possessing more perhaps than ten shillings in
the pound were our creditors to come upon us; then we
cannot expect to have this verse fulfilled in our experi-
ence; nor should we give at any time for the sake of re-
ceiving again from others, according to this verse; but if
indeed the love of Christ constrain us to communicate ac-
A.D. 1844.] 601
cording to the ability which the Lord gives us, then we
shall have this verse fulfilled in our experience, though
this was not the motive which induced us to give. Some-
how or other the Lord will abundantly repay us through
the instrumentality of our fellow men what we are doing
to his poor saints, or in any way for his work, and we shall
find that in the end we are not losers, even with reference
to temporal things, whilst we communicate liberally of
the things of this life with which the Lord has intrusted
us.-Here it might be remarked : but if it be so, that
even in this life, and with regard to temporal things it is
true, that “To him that gives shall be given, good mea-
sure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running
over,” and that “Be which soweth bountifully shall reap
also bountifully,” then in the end the most liberal persons
would be exceedingly rich. Concerning this remark we
have to keep in mind, that the moment persons were to
begin to give for the sake of receiving more back again
from the Lord, through the instrumentality of their fel-
low men, than they have given; or the moment persons
wished to alter their way, and no more go on sowing
bountifully, but sparingly, in order to increase their pos-
sessions, whilst God is allowing them to reap bountifully,
the river of God's bounty toward them would no longer
continue to flow. God had supplied them abundantly
with means, because he saw them act as stewards for him.
Eſe had intrusted them with a little which they used for
him, and he therefore intrusted them with more; and if
they had continued to use the much also for him, he
would have still more abundantly used them as instru-
ments to scatter abroad his bounties. The child of God
must be willing to be a channel through which God’s
bounties flow, both with regard to temporal and spiritual
things. This channel is narrow and shallow at first, it
may be ; yet there is room for some of the waters of
God’s bounty to pass through. And if we cheerfully
yield ourselves as channels, for this purpose, then the
channel becomes wider and deeper, and the waters of the
bounty of God can pass through more abundantly.
Without a figure it is thus: At first we may be only in-
strumental in communicating 5l. or 10l. or 201, or 50l.
or 100l. or 200l. per year, but afterwards double as much;
and, if we are still more faithful in our stewardship, after
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602 [A.D. 1844.
a year or two four times as much, afterwards perhaps
eight times as much, at last perhaps twenty times or fifty
times as much. We cannot limit the extent to which
God may use us as instruments in communicating bles-
sing, both temporal and spiritual, if we are willing to
yield ourselves as instruments to the living God, and are
content to be only instruments, and to give him all the
glory. But with regard to temporal things it will be thus,
that if indeed we walk according to the mind of God in
these things, whilst more and more we become instru-
ments of blessing to others, we shall not seek to enrich
ourselves, but be content when the last day of another
year finds us still in the body, to possess no more than
on the last day of the previous year, or even considerably
less, whilst we have been, however, in the course of the
year the instruments of communicating largely to others,
through the means with which the Lord had intrusted us.
As to my own soul, by the grace of God it would be a
burden to me to find, that, however much my income in
the course of a year might have been, I were increasing
in earthly possession; for it would be a plain proof to
me, that I had not been acting as a steward for God, and
had not been yielding myself as a channel for the waters
of God’s bounty to pass through. I also cannot but bear
my testimony here, that in whatever feeble measure God
has enabled me to act according to these truths for the
last fifteen years [this was written in 1845], I have found it
to be profitable, most profitable to my own soul; and as
to temporal things, I never was a loser in doing so, but I
have most abundantly found the truth in 2 Cor. ix. 6,
and Luke vi. 38, and Prov. xi. 24, 25, verified in my own
experience. I only have to regret that I have acted so
little according to what I have now been stating; but my
godly purpose is, by the help of God, to spend the re-
mainder of my days in practising these truths more than
ever, and I am sure that when I am brought to the
close of my earthly pilgrimage either in death, or by the
appearing of our Lord Jesus, I shall not have the least
regret in having done so; and I know that should I leave
my dear child behind, the Lord will abundantly provide
for her, and prove that there has been a better provision
made for her than her father could have made, if he had
sought to ensure his life or lay up money for her.
A.D. 1844.] 603
Before leaving this part of the subject, I mention to
the believing reader, that I know instance upon instance,
in which what I have been saying has been verified, but I
will only mention the following:—I knew many years ago
a brother as the manager of a large manufactory. Whilst
in this capacity he was liberal, and giving away consider-
ably out of his rather considerable salary. The Lord
repaid this to him; for the principals of the establishment,
well knowing his value to their house of business, gave
him now and then whilst he thus was liberally using his
means for the Lord, very large presents in money. In
process of time, however, this brother thought it right to
begin business on his own account, in a very small way.
Ełe still continued to be liberal, according to his means,
and God prospered him, and prospered him so, that now,
whilst I am writing, his manufactory is as large as the
one which he formerly managed, or even larger, though
that was a very considerable one. And sure I am, that
if this brother shall be kept by God from setting his
heart upon earthly things, and from seeking more and
more to increase his earthly riches, but shall delight
himself in being used as a steward by God, cheerfully
communicating to the need of God’s poor children, or to
his work in other ways, and doing so not sparingly, but
bountifully, the Lord will intrust him more and more
with means; if otherwise, if he shut up his hands, seek
his own, wish to obtain sufficient property that he may
be able to live on his interest, then, what he has to
expect is, that God will shut up his hands, he will meet
with heavy losses, or there will be an alteration in his
affairs for the worse, or the like.—I also mention two
other cases, to show that the Lord increases our ability
of communicating temporal blessings to others, if we dis-
tribute according to the means with which he has in-
trusted us, though we should not be in a trade or
business, or profession.—I know a brother who many
years ago saw it right not only to spend his interest for
the Lord, but also the principal, as the Lord might point
out to him opportunities. His desire was not, as indeed
it ought never to be, to get rid of his money as fast as
possible, yet he considered himself a steward for the
Lord, and was therefore willing, as his Lord and master
might point it out to him, to spend his means. When
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604 [A.D. 1844.
this brother came to this determination, he possessed
about twenty thousand pounds sterling. . According to
the light and grace, which the Lord had been pleased to
give, he afterwards acted, spending the money for the
Lord, in larger or smaller sums, as opportunities were
pointed out to him by the Lord. Thus the sum more
and more decreased, whilst the brother steadily pursued
his course, serving the Lord with his property, and
spending his time and ability also for the Lord, in service
of one kind or another among his children. At last the
twenty thousand pounds were almost entirely spent,
when at that very time the father of this brother died,
whereby he came into the possession of an income of several
thousand pounds a year. It gives joy to my heart to be
able to add, that this brother still pursues his godly
course, living in the most simple way, and giving away
perhaps ten times as much as he spends on himself or
family. Here you see, dear reader, that this brother,
using faithfully for the Lord what he had been intrusted
with at first, was made steward over more; for he has
now more than one-third as much in a year coming in, as
he at first possessed altogether.—I mention another in-
stance: I know a brother to whom the Lord has given a
liberal heart, and who bountifully gave of that over
which the Lord had set him as steward. The Lord
seeing this, intrusted him with still more, for through
family circumstances he came into the possession of many
thousand pounds, in addition to the considerable property
he possessed before. I have the joy of being able to add
also concerning this brother, that the Lord continues to
give him grace to use his property as a steward for God,
and that he has not been permitted to set his heart upon
his riches, through the very considerable increase of his
property, but that he continues to live as the steward of
the Lord, and not as the owner of all this wealth.-And
now, dear reader, when the brethren to whom I have
been referring are brought to the close of their earthly
pilgrimage, will they have one moment's regret that they
have used their property for the Lord? Will it be the
least particle of uneasiness to their minds, or will their
children be the worse for it P Oh no | The only regret
they will have concerning this matter will be, that they
did not serve the Lord still more abundantly with their
A.D. 1844.] 605
property. Dear reader, let us each in our measure act
in the same spirit. Money is really worth no more than
as it is used according to the mind of the Lord; and life
i. wºrth no more than as it is spent in the service of the
OPCI.
Whilst the three mentioned points—1, That our calling
must be of that nature that we can abide in it with God;
2, That unto the Lord we should labour in our calling, as
bis servants, because he has bought us with his blood, and
because he will have us to labour; 3, That as stewards we
should labour in our calling, because the earnings of our
calling are the Lord’s and not our own, as he has bought
us with his blood: I say, whilst these three points are
particularly to be attended to in order that the Lord’s
blessing may rest upon our calling, and we be prospering
in it, there are, nevertheless, some other points to be
attended to, which I mention in love to my brethren in
the Lord, by whom they may be needed.
4, The next point is, that a believer in the Lord Jesus
should do nothing in his calling, which is purely for the sake
of attracting the world, such as for instance, fitting up his
shop or rooms of business in the most costly manner. I
do not in the least mean to say that his shop or rooms of
business should not be clean, orderly, and of such a cha-
racter as that there may be no positive hinderance in
persons going there. All the needful conveniences that
are expected may be there and ought to be there. But
if any child of God seek to have the front of his shop, or
the interior of his shop, or of his place of business fitted
up in a most expensive way, simply for the sake of at-
tracting attention, then let him be aware that, just in so
far as he is trusting in these things, he is not likely to
succeed in his calling, because he puts the manner of
fitting up the shop in the room of trust in the Lord.
Such things the Lord may allow to succeed in the
case of an unbeliever, but they will not prosper in the
case of a child of God, except it be in the way of chas-
tisement, just as the Lord gave to Israel in the wilder-
ness the desire of their hearts, but sent leanness into
their souls. Should any brother have fallen into this
error, the first thing he has to do, when the Lord has
instructed him concerning this point, is, to make confes-
sion of sin, and, as far as it can be done, to retrace his
E F F 3
606 [A.D. 1844.
steps in this particular. If this cannot be done, then to
cast himself upon the mercy of God in Christ Jesus.
5, Of the same character is : To seek to attract the
attention of the world, by “boasting advertisements,”
such as “no one manufactures so good an article,” “no
one sells this article so cheap,” “we sell the best article
in the city,” etc. Suppose these statements were quite
correct, yet they are unbecoming for a child of God, who
has the living God to care for him and to provide for him,
and therefore needs not to make use of such boasting,
whereby he may seek to ensure custom to himself and
keep it from others. The law of love is, “Whatsoever
ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to
them.” Matt. vii. 12. Now what do I wish in this par-
ticular that others should do to me, but that they should
not seek to keep away persons from dealing with me;
but if I use such like expressions in my advertisements,
as have been mentioned, what do they imply but, that I
wish all people should come to me, and deal with me. If,
however, already under the old covenant it was said,
“Thou shalt not covet,” how much more sinful and
altogether unbecoming is it for us children of God, who are
in fellowship with the Father and the Son, to make use
of such means in order to ensure to ourselves pecuniary
advantages. But, however much the Lord may allow a
man of the world to prosper in using such means, they
are only hinderances to the child of God to getting on
in his calling, because the Lord sees that they are substi-
tuted instead of trust in himself; and should the Lord
for a season allow his child apparently to be benefited by
them, it will only be for his chastisement and connected
with leanness in his soul. Therefore, my brethren in the
Lord, I beseech you to put away all these things out of
your calling, lest you should be hindering instead of fur-
thering your real welfare.
6, Likewise of a similar character is the following
point, which God may suffer to be a real hinderance to
his children in their calling, it is, To seek the very best,
(and therefore the most expensive) situations which can
be had in a town or city. Now I do by no means intend
to say, that in our trade, business, art, or profession, we
should seek the most obscure, retired, out of the way
place possible, and say, “God will provide, and I need
A.D. 1844.] 607
not mind in what part of the town I carry on my
calling.” There are most assuredly certain things to be
considered. The persons who are likely to buy the
articles I sell, or employ me, are to be considered, and I
have not to say, it matters nothing to me, whether Imake
them come a mile or two to my house, or to the most
dirty and disagreeable part of the town; this would be
the extreme in the other way. But whilst there is a cer-
tain consideration to be used with reference to those who
may employ usin our calling, yet if the trust of the child of
God respecting temporal prosperity is in the fact that he
lives in the best situation, the Lord will surely disappoint
him. He will have to pay a very high rent for the best
situation, and yet not succeed, because his trust is in the
best situation. He is substituting it for dependance
upon the living God for customers. He is robbing his
soul not only in not taking the customers as from the
hands of the Lord, but he is also obliging his heavenly
Father, in the very love of his heart, to cause him to be
disappointed, because he is not trusting in him. If the
child of God were saying and acting thus: the best situa-
tion would cost me 50l. a year more rent, than one which
is not really inconvenient for my customers, nor in an
improper neighbourhood, and the like, this 50l. I dedicate
unto the Lord, to be paid in instalments for his work or
his poor saints, whenever the rent day comes, such a bro-
ther would find himself to be no loser, if this indeed
were done in dependance upon the Lord, and constrained
by the love of Jesus. But if the 50l. more is paid for
rent, and yet the living God, in the very love of his heart,
should be obliged to withold prosperity from his child in
his calling, because he sees that he is laying undue stress
upon the situation of the house, then not only the 50l.
extra rent per year is lost, but also that which the Lord
is obliged to withhold from his child besides, in order to
teach him the lesson ; and thus year after year, by our
own fault, we may have scarcely any thing to give for the
work of God. -
7, The next obstacle to prosperity in our calling which
I now would mention is, That children of God often use
such expressions as these with reference to their calling:
“this is our busy time,” or “this is our dead time,” which
implies that they do not day after day deal with God
608 [A.D. 1844.
about their calling, but that they ascribe their having
much or little to do to circumstances, or to times and
seasons. That the people of the world should do so is
not to be wondered at ; but that the children of God
should act thus, who in the most minute affairs of life
should seek the help of God, and deal with God about
them, is a matter of sorrow to the spiritual mind, and is
altogether unbecoming saints. But what is the result P
The Lord, according to the expectations of his children,
allows them to be without employment, because they say,
“this is our dead season.” “He did not many mighty
works there because of their unbelief,” contains a truth
which comes in here. But what is the right way of look-
ing at the matter? It is this: the child of God should
say, though generally about this time of the year there is
little employment to be expected, looking at it naturally,
yet as want of employment is neither good for the out-
ward nor inward man, and as I only desire employment
to serve God in my business, to have to give to those who
are in need, or help in other ways the work of God, I
will now give myself to prayer for employment, for I can
by prayer and faith as a child of God obtain blessings
from my heavenly Father, though not in the ordinary
course of things. If thus the child of God were to say
and to act, he would soon have employment in his calling,
except the Lord meant to use his time otherwise in his
work, which he would point out to him.
8, A further reason, why God may be obliged to resist
children of God in their business, may be this, that they
with the greatest carefulness seek to obtain persons for
their shop who are considered “good salesmen,” i. e. per-
sons who have such persuasive ways, as that they gain an
advantage over the customers and induce them not only
to buy articles for which they ask, whether suitable or not,
but that they also induce them to buy articles which they
did not at all intend to buy when they came to the shop.
Concerning this I notice in the first place, that if the
child of God puts his dependance upon the “good sales-
men,” let him not be surprised if his heavenly Father
should be obliged to disappoint him, because he sees his
child lean upon the arm of flesh, instead of trusting in the
living God; and therefore the business does not succeed.
Purther, it is altogether wrong for a child of God to
A.D. 1844.] 609
induce the customers, by means of such men or women
who have such a persuasive tongue, to purchase articles
whether they suit or not, and whether they are needed or
not. This is no less than defrauding persons in a subtle
way, or leading them into the sin of purchasing beyond
their means, or at least spending their money needlessly.
However such sinful tricks may be allowed to prosper in
the case of a man of the world, in the case of a child of
God they will not prosper, except God allow them to do
so in the way of chastisement, whilst leanness and wretch-
edness is brought into the soul. I knew a case of this
kind where it was the whole bent of the mind of a pro-
fessed believer to obtain such “good salesmen,” and where
even a Jew was kept outside the shop walking up and
down, to induce persons to come in and buy; and yet that
same professed believer failed twice in his business.
9, Another evil with reference to business, and why
children of God do not get on in their calling is, that they
enter upon business often without any capital at all, or
with too little. If a believer has no capital at all, or only
a very small capital, in comparison with what his business
requires, then, ought he not to say this to himself: “If
it were my heavenly Father's will that I should enter
upon business on my own account, then would he not
somehow or other have intrusted me with the needful
means ? And since he has not, is it not a plain indication
that for the present I should remain a journeyman, (or
shopman, or clerk, as the case may be P’’) In a variety
of ways the means might come. For instance, a legacy
might be left to him, or money might be given to him by
a brother in the Lord for that very purpose, or a brother
or sister might propose to the individual to lend him
money, yet so that if he were unable to pay it again, they
would not consider him their debtor, or in many other
ways God might intrust him with means. But if in some
such way the Lord did not remove the hinderance, and
the brother would still go into business, he would, through
the bill system and other things connected with the want
of capital, not only bring great distress into his mind, and
subject himself to the possibility of at last being unable to
pay his creditors, whereby dishonour would be brought
upon the name of the Lord, but he likewise could not be
surprised (as he went into business contrary to the will of
610 [A.D. 1844.
God, since he pointed out to him that he was not to do so
for want of means,) if he should find that he cannot get
on, and that the blessing of God manifestly is wanting.
In such a case as this, if it can be done, the retracing our
steps is the best thing we can do; but often this cannot
be done, as others are involved in the matter, and then we
have to make acknowledgment of our sin, and seek God's
merciful help to bring us into a right position.
10, But suppose all these nine previous points were at-
tended to, and we neglected to seek God’s blessing upon
our calling, we need still not be surprised if we met with
difficulty upon difficulty, and could not get on at all. It
is not enough that we seek God's help for that which
manifestly is of a spiritual character; but we should seek
his help and blessing by prayer and supplication for all
our ordinary concerns in life, and if we neglect doing so,
we shall surely suffer for the neglect. “Trust in the Lord
with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own under-
standing. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall
direct thy paths.” Prov. iii. 5, 6.
These few remarks I commend affectionately to the
prayerful consideration of all brethren and sisters in the
Lord with reference to their calling; for though they are
written by one who never was in business himself, yet the
truths therein set forth have been learned by him in the
school of God, and he has had them abundantly confirmed
through his pastoral labours during the last fifteen years
and a half, [this was written in 1845.]
And now, farewell, beloved reader.—Wery many times
have I sought the Lord’s blessing before I began preparing
this third part for the press, and very many times have I
done so while writing it, and now I am most fully assured,
that he will abundantly bless this part also, because of the
abundance of supplication which he has wrought concern-
ing it by his Spirit in my soul. I ask you also, dear
reader, if you know the power of prayer, to unite with me
in seeking the Lord's blessing upon this book, and then
we shall rejoice together in the answers to our prayers, if
not here on earth, at least in the day of Christ's appearing.
ENID OF THE THIRD PART,
PRINTED Gy J. DAYY AND SONS, 137, LONG ACRE.
...”
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