DUPL BUILDING USE ONLY THIS ITEM MAY BE PLACED ON THE LONG TERM HOLD SHELF FOR TWO WEEKS. YOU MAY USE IT AT YOUR CONVENIENCE INSIDE THE BUILDING. PLEASE RETURN TO RM. 104 AFTER EACH USE. s INITIAL HERE WHEN BOOK CAN BE RETURNED TO BUHR NAME DATE Lºs GT %- º A * | -N Nº. (ſº Sºs ($ º º (sº º ("Q Q} º - * A \ . º W. º | * sº a ºšº - 2- - - ºſ º () ºº ſº. - º/ º/ſ. |ſ. º º . wº. º - - assºr g|Iſºlſ||||||||||}|Hººgſ|||||||||||||||||}|g sea tº e º 'º - e. - tº º ºr º g ºveruſſ "ºr ºuºlº, ſº º ſº º | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| tº º tº º ſº tº gº tº ſº tº º tº ſº * * * * * tº º ſº tº ſº º ſº e º 'º e º sº º º THE GIFT OF Eºs ñº.º.º.º.º.º. G | º | | FUBLISHED BY KEPPLER-3-SCHWARZNAANN: NEW YORK- | 1894 PUCK’S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. I. HE HOUSE is full, the stage is set, The players all in place; The genius of the show is yet A-making up his face. II. The players know full well their cues, They come from near and far; They woo with skill the lighter muse, For every one 's a star. III. The plays will not be of the kind That harrow up your soul; - - They're trifles light to please the mind, A trifle is the toll. - IV. - V. The juveniles, the leading men, They all are waiting for the call The tramps who never work, To take the mimic stage; The lively children under ten, PUCK knows that none of them will pall The Irishman, the Turk, - Upon a single page. - VI. They 're people you have often met, They'll show you when and how; So ring the curtain up and let Each player make his bow. Copyright, 1894, by Keppler & Schwarzmann. wº * - ſº * -- 7 PROFITING BY IT. RS. SUBURBAN.— Oh, Henry and the leafy trees | pays two hundred. NO CAUSE FOR TEARS. KIND OLD GENTLEMAN. — What are you crying for, little boy P THE LITTLE BOY. — Oh, my — the parrot got out of his cage and — and — I 'll catch it when – I — I — get — h — h — home. Boo ! hoo! hoo ! KIND OLD GENTLEMAN (in disgust). — Catch it when you get home ! Well, why don’t you go home and catch it? What are you stand- ing, bellowing here for HE HAD LIVED WITH HER. HIS SISTER’s ACCEPTED. — And will Willy be sorry when I marry his sister 2 WILLY (ſee/img/y).-Yes, I will—for I like you. A MERE FORMALITY. BERTIE BLAZER.— Suppose I should kiss you ? MISS SUMMERHAZE. – I’d scream. BERTIE BLAZER.— But no one could hear you. tº Miss SUMMERHAZE. – I know it. Her thoughts were of her lover—she turned her toward the door, And there he stood, Pat Rafferty, M. P., 494, After passing through the long Winter, the ice, the sleet, and the snow, and then to see this glorious Spring sunlight, these green fields, Why, one feels that it actually HENRY.—Yes; you bet it pays Why, only this morning I rented this house to a city man for eight hundred dollars for the Summer months, and leased a flat in the city for run ? yards. - CIRCUMSTANTIAL EVIDENCE. SALESMAN (with from/ſ assurance).- Not unless they 're wet, lady; how many yards 2 SHOPPER (evidently relieved). – Give me eight NOT WHAT SHE WANTED THERE. TEACHER.— If you face the North, directly behind you will be South, on your right hand will be East and on your left hand West. When Maggie Reilly cleaned the stove, the house with music rang, She did not notice how the soot came sifting on her bang — - | | | | Nº | w | -ºš NW, \ | ºr Mºssº V § |ºsi W N N § “Ah, Pat 1" says she, “me hands are s'iled.” “Yure heart is clane,” says Pat; “And here's a place upon yure face—What do you think av that?” 277.842 THE QUESTIONING HABIT. - THE SHOPPER (examining / 1-2 cent coſton /rints).-Will the colors sº (Seeing a ſack of aſ- ſenſion on the Žart of Oscar Simmons, and wishing to caſeſ. Aim.) What is on your left hand, Oscarf OSCAR (in dee/ confusion). — Please, Ma-a-am, -er — it 's some cartgrease I got on at recess; an' it won’t come off. TVSSºx GOOD ADVICE. VICTIM OF BRU- TAL OUTRAGE.- Say, Officer, why — er — two big woughs beat me — er – wiped the stweet up with me and then wan away. Now, what would you advise me to do? OFFICER (ca/m/y).—Why, go over and take a bath ! “Aſ/S AWA TU/A2A/L A/EAVT.” |º º f º º :- cººr *SNYSSYº Alas for Pat that just outside he should his Captain meet ! Now Maggie waits for him in vain; he's on another beat. PUCK’S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. A WAY OUT OF A DILEM M A. - sº sººn ñſºvº) º § Nº. º \\ | * Žº H - \ \º , " " X: --~~~ º N º % w ſ --> ~ º % - '. º, ''," \\ ~. | º || º % fº/º: ... ſp., Vº º º y \"" * N * : *. sº Nº. "4 A. N. - _ –” º - - -----------" ... --~~~~ *** *** S. ~~ - 4% w"... N, - N M º $º zº A NATURAL QUESTION. - MR. LOBBY. —Voats, allow me to introduce to you Mr. Beudle, a member of our Legislature. MR. VOATS.–Glad to meet you, sir! What corporation do you represent? THE DOCTOR'S ART. º ILLY. — I don’t see why the doctor has to come sºlº here twice a day. He leaves medicine on his first riºts - visit does n’t he 2 MRS. ILLY. —Yes; but he has to come again in the afternoon to leave an antidote for the medicine he left in the morning A FEARFUL CHARGE. DILLY (in horrifted whis/er). — Mama, Willy is an infidel. MAM.A. – An infidel? DILLY. —Yes; he said he don’t believe there's any Santa Claus. i. | , ſº º N. }- ->| ! º - A º *—º N FRIEND.—You don'dt pelong to dot society, Isadore ? ISADORE HEPHEIMER.—No. FRIEND.—Vot you do mit dot sign 2 - ISADORE HEPHEIMER. —I pought him down to dot auction for less dan de poardt is vort'. You come oop to mein store to-morrow, und you see vot I do mit him. º | - - ºw... " "… " MAKING W.-------------------- z/////// trº///// * } \, : Ş. Sº %Y. 4 : “...º. - & .#: º, gº! — . —--> § —--T ,---- º º, - - }%" ºf º -- S. º º W, Z. // 'll - | - - s' y (/; ! º) - Ns \ 7//ſ). fºs-- A SURE SIGN. SHIPPEN CLARKE.—A woman occupied this room before we came. BILL DATUR.— How do you know? SHIPPEN CLARKE.— Don't you see how the carpet is worn in front of the bureau ? APPROPRIATE MOURNING. MRS. NEWBRIDE. –Why | You are in second mourning, and your husband has not been dead a week! MRS. WEED.—But he was my second husband, you know ! NOT HIS STYLE. PHOTOGRAPHER.— Look pleasant, please. VICTIM.–Not much My friends would n’t know me. seller at a railroad station. USE OF IT. -tt-, - !-lº": ..., º 42% Zº H2ADoRE . t- - H BP HEl/AE ºffſ. zººlºmiţīţii"tikºliminimiſſ 5.1.0 % O 2- F. F ################## º III-III I’m a ticket- on Aly ſº 38355 || T | | | | º º # tº |tiº % ſº | º/H]−. fºLiº T ISADORE HEPHEIMER,-Vot you dink mit dot, Max? When gallant Captain Poppleton went courting, He went in quite a proper courtly way; A certain lightness in his gait importing And in his hand he carried a bouquet. cº-º º E. N Kºsºvº He put his snuff-box down beside the roses – - Kerchew / Strong was the Captain's maccaboy - A sneeze his hat, his stick, likewise, deposes, And fills the Butcher's idling Cad with joy. 3: º: º º, . . . . . . . tº º The Captain, unsuspicious of all evil, The wealthy Merchant's Daughter did address. I' faith, 't was mighty easy to be civil, Her wealth was great – so were his debts, I guess. The snuff was strong, and got its work in quickly, Just as her Pa appeared upon the scene; The lady, too, proved she was far from sickly; All which rejoiced the god of the machine. LOVE SNUFFED OUT. Upon a bench he sat where it was shady, And near him placed with care his blossoms gay, That he might take – while waiting for the lady – A pinch of snuff to while the time away. The Captain jumped to catch his hat a-flitting, Before the lady came upon her way; But, ere he'd got where he had been a-sitting, That wicked Boy had “snuffed" that sweet bouquet. s º * *. º: - º ºf . , º º - º - --- # º . - - - | º - º, º -- º The lady thought she 'd like a high connection – The Captain's blood was indigo, they say – She gave a favouring glance in his direction, And took a great big sniff at the bouquet. º 3: … º. º. ºf § º º, * . Thus were the gallant Captain's hopes all shattered In ruins, like his elegant bouquet, And Mammon's hosts were put to rout and scattered By Cupid in Disguise, some people say. Wałęer AAEen. PoRK BurchER: - - - \, . w -, * ... t1 … jliſ , ºn ſlun', in Milliºl||||| * [III][11][11''''' - With a mournful whine the vagrant canine jumps at the fair brown wurst, And to his tail he then ties the pail, and says, “Now, by chiminetty, But ere he can seize the least bit of these the butcher has hold of him first. He ll come round no more (here in German he swore) by this butcher shop alretty.” - - f - - -V/ A - • */ "I'llulºuſºul! - “”umumumuluſ - / ----- _T - - - - ' ' ſ - - - - - - - - - w" iſ ||| --- mºlluſ ”III./ | - §ºe %) - - ſº - * "Till % N º % - ". * > * - - - - & \ - *. - - - º º - - - - T. ." ' - -...I. --~~~~<-- . . . . cº- | - * T T ~ -** - - - - © . The can was a clog for the little stray dog; he stopped at the end of the street — But the look the man wore as he sat in the store, showed this would be all in vain; “I’ll go back to that man, beg him take off the can and give me a small scrap of meat.” So the little dog stray turned sadly away to take up his burden again. PORK BUICHERE, - T- - -- " - T - - t - - - f : t w v \ \ \ | | ; , , |ſ - ' ' || \,\! --- º S Ill III, ...thºmſºn, .." º S"|" """||||||||||||| i"/ ". %) ... " | |-- lin. m|| ~ |||||III" "Hi, tº "| 1111 illii, -- Then a thought struck the pup as he once more looked up where the sausages hung in a row, Ye Gods' "t is a feast; full three yards at least are harvested now by the cur, And he pushed in the can in pursuit of his plan, quietly, stealthily, slow. Then with one final yank he swipes the last hank as he hears the shopkeeper stir. ºl … millſ|| - * - - - \ º RNSºssºve Away down the street, the pail at his feet, he flies with the last missing links, But what greets his eyes makes him howl with surprise; he sees what is left of the pel While the butcher awoke with a laugh at his joke, whose echos he hears, as he thinks. Oh! ”t is better, indeed, a stray dog to feed than to fix it so he helps himself. THE MISSING LINKS. A. STORY OF SAUSAGES AND POETIC RETRIBUTION. PUCK'S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. A DEFINITION. A MEAN SHIFT. . Ø º Ž SS/ PATHETIC. TEACHER. – Give the definition of the word “Naturalization.” NATIVE AMERICAN BOY. — Nat- EDITOR. This is pathetic. POET. —Aw — thanks | I tried to make it as pathetic as possible. EDITOR.—Very pathetic, indeed uralization is the preliminary process towards enabling the Irish to hold public office in the United States. A DISTASTEFUL SAMENESS. SON (after reading editoria/ scor- ing the A/dermen). — Now I know why they call the Aldermen the City Fathers. • FATHER.—Why? SON.— Because they never give us what we want. HIS ONLY HOPE. JEWELER.— I can’t let you have another engagement ring, Mr. Upton. You owe me for three already. HARDY UPTON.—You ’d better let me have this one, too. goes, I’ll be in a position to pay for the others in a few months. If this BITTER FATE. WILLY ROCKINGHAM-SNOBS. —What makes you cry, dearest, on this glorious anniversary of the discovery of America : MRS, ROCKINGHAM-SNOBS. — Ah, my child, 't is a sad, sad day for us and our house ! Had America never"been discovered, your great — great— great – grandfather would never have been tempted to come over in the A/aſſ/ower, and, to-day, we would have been living in our ancestral halls in dear old England. III. Why, sir, it actually makes me weep to see an intelligent man like you throw himself away on such rot as this FLATTERY THAT FAILED. MISS ELDER (s/y/V), –You know, a woman is only as old as she looks JAGGERS (trying to say something Z/easant). — Oh, now, Miss Elder, you don’t look it, I’m sure EXCEPTIONS TO ALL RULES. THE ENAMORED ONE. – Ah, Dorothy, my darling ! loves a lover. SAVAGE VOICE (from ſoft of stairs). — Dorothy | If that young idiot ain't out of this house in ten seconds I’ll come down and throw him out. All the world A MAN OF TASTE. FRAYED FAGIN (as HOUSEWIFE gives him a fair of russet shoes).- Now, where 's the derby hat and sack coat? HOUSEWIFE (in surf rise).-Derby hat and sack coat . These shoes are all I’ve got, and all you 'll get. FRAYED FAGIN (throwing shoes down in disgust). —Want me to wear russet shoes with a high hat and Prince Albert coat? No, Madam : If you were raised in Brooklyn, you need n’t think I was. AN ENERGETIC SALESMAN. ſ º % r % 3.36:12 | | | | | || | | - % 22 Z/ 2 % % % % º% % % M%% Ø % % % % % // º % % % Ž Ž%% 2. THE PROPRIEToR (hard of hearing, but sharp). — I'll have to raise that young man's salary; he throws his whole soul into the business when he tries to make a sale. * - - - -- sSº 11|||| | THE SALESMAN.— Miss Golding – Maud – Ever since your father forbade me the house I have been longing to throw myself at your feet; and now—in this prosaic place— I offer you my heart, my life, my all! SUNDAY. WANDERING WILLY (who has gotten a little off his route and strikes an Indian Reservation). — Look here, Squaw; I'm hungry an' I'm goin' to help meself right out o' that pot. Oh, yer needn't yelp; all the bucks are miles away! PUCK’S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. ONE WEEK WITH OUR NEW SERVANT-GIRL. WANDERING WILLY (as he lifts the Zid).- Great Barleycorn I sees dem everywhere ! Al-& ſº º 2, a º O O. . SATURDAY. | jºjº % º º - º ſº § % - *\ THE SQUAW (as she puts the cover on the pot).- Huh ! snake stew, Dirty paleface thief no like A. time I'm talking with him. PUCK'S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. A MISDIRECTED NOZZLE. A STORY OF A HOSE. FUNEREAL COURTSHIP. MRS. CHURCH.-Do you think the young rector's attentions are serious 2 ANNIE CHURCH.- Well, I should say so | So serious, indeed, that I feel like crying the whole WAS IT ART OR NATUREP COBAL.T. — Did you see D'Auber's picture, HIS ONLY CHOICE. MOTHER (wishing to draw a moral).- And he said, “Father, I can not tell a lie.” SON. – Humph Of course he could nºt — standin' there with the hatchet in his hand and chips on his clothes | ºf all|| “ſin”urnini: minº "|| ON THE OVERLAND STOCK-TRAIN. ROMEO WALKER.—Ain’t this awful, Woodby P * : A Storm at Sea.” P LAQUER.—Yes; it actually made me sick. AT OCEAN GROVE. BROTHER WATSON.—Ah, Brother I 'm afraid Brother Merrick will have to be read out of the Church. BROTHER HUPLEY. —Wherefore, Brother ? BROTHER WATSON.— He painted his fence last night, and he 's allowing it to dry on the Sabbath. THE BETTER ARTIST. MRS. VAN NEERING (who does n' /i/e her fortrait, and is ſinding as much ſau// with it as fossib/e). — And the color in the cheeks does n’t suit me at all. - D'AUBER (in disgust). — Take the brush, Madam, and fix it to suit yourself. You have, undoubtedly, had more experience in that branch of painting than I have. WOODBY BOOTH.— Oh, I don’t mind it ! I’ve always been used to traveling in a stock company. A STINGING REBUKE. MRS. KIRKE.— George, I think it is perfectly shameful for you to stay away from church and sit home reading novels | GEORGE.-- And what was the text this morning, my dear? MRS. KIRKE.— Why – Oh I forget; but Mr. Tonsill sang a lovely solo, and I saw a Lonnet that was simply a dream / IN A GOOD CAUSE. WIFE. – George, this burning of the candle at both ends means an untimely grave. It is nearly twelve o’clock; come to bed. GEORGE.- But I’m doing this night-work in order to raise money enough to buy your Christmas present. WIFE. – Well, if you will /ersist in working, of course I can’t stop it — Good-night, dear ! STRATEGY. - The police wish Anarchist Blowitz's picture for the Rogues' Gallery; but Herr Blowitz, in order to defeat their desire, con- torts his face in the most horrible manner. WSWS’s The photographer is equal to the occasion. PUCK’S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. * A SHARP MAN BLUNTED. f º | - ſi - “... Mº- … --~~~~... * º | - | - - | |\ - . `...". . . º MR. HARDBy (who has stood it as long as he n1ce Cirum ought W1 e fifty cents Uncle possibly could).-Say, Willy, I'll bet you a – “Well, you've won the bet, and here 's Bob gave me ! , , - - dollar you can't put your foot through the head the dollar. — MRs. NEVERSTOP.—Well, don't ever play - - - - - of that drum. — it in the house; take it out in the yard. ANTEDILUWIAN. É=~~ HIS TROUBLE, MRS. FUNNY- º MISS DOGGETT MAN.--John, when º ºf W. (to MAN who has was the first joke H iſ ye/7/77ted he?- “Zos/’’ * on the mother-in- - | Žež). — Here is a law made 2 |-| | dollar, my good -- MR. FUNNYMAN. - man. I hope Fido —- When Noah went - did n’t give you 2- into the Ark and - much trouble 2 -- ? left her out. MAN (with the - - T|, | air of a martyr. NOT WHAT HE H - I — Thot same he -> DESIRED. : 4. -- -- - . Nº did, Mum. Oi had - PATIENT.-Ah, f --> *. . . . . . . . . . . Dº Tº to kape him toied doctor, I feel that I à --~~~... s . == == oop in the cellar, am at death’s door - s_ – Ness's an’ sit there, an’ DOCTOR (em?/ ?/- watch him all day, - - | - - 7 - siaº)- Oh - – “Now that nuisance is done for. See how WILLY (an hour later).-By Jimminy | These or he 'd 'a' broken - don’t fear. We 'll much better a little strategy works with a dollar drums make ten times as much noise as loose and run back pull you through. boy." that fifty-cent one did home. -- -- - -- J. * º - f | % 4. º | - ſº §3.4. s º ſ #| | : |FT'ſ. % | | º/ (l （* º/. | | y Ž %| % |. -- º % ºr ºf % º/ | - - jº | º % |º |||ſ|| % ||| % ſº Mºſſ | º "M - |% º | M Wº% Wº \ ºft \ W / - - y º / - - 2. ' Y. - Tº - *7. ~ T- / s as º –– - V. *\\swe WNSRs: A FRIEND, INDEED. FOLLOWING INSTRUCTIONS. MR. Wool.ABY. — I heerd yo' wuz makin' some derog- NEWLY IMPORTED DOMESTIC.— Th’ leddy tould me gertory remarks about me down at de club de Odder night. to be sure to put th' parley lamp out for th' noight. Oi've MR. LIPPER.— Dat 's an untroof, Mr. Woolaby. De - heerd tell of puttin' th' dog out and puttin' th' cat out; but, whole crowd wuz runnin' yo' down like blazes, an' I wuz de by th’ saints above us, Oi can't see th' sinse av puttin' a only one ob de lot dat t'ought enough ob yo' to keep mah lamp out ! mouf Shet. --~ PUC K. IT WAS the Sheik Achmed Effendi Who over the desert rode, With a wife to lead the hump- backed steed That could bear but a single load. But the hump-backed steed with himself agreed Such treatment was most unjust; So, o'er his head Effendi sped, And landed in the dust. : « O Animal of the Evil One Of jackals be the prey ! See Z/ is hump I got from the thump - Thou gavest to me this day ! “Cease, cease, my son | * cried a wandering one, Who chanced to pass that Way : - * For here at hand is a remed grand And a shekel is all you pay.” * : O Maker of the Wonderful s Oil r The Prophet will bless thee - º Sull C. – º ºs Thy Wizard's lotion is a magic potion To work such a wond’rous cure l’” “But as for you to whom was due That painful, throbbing bump — ” As the words are spoken the vial is broken Against the camel's hump. ** By the terrible sword of the Prophet That slew ten thousand Giaours What have I done His ſºm/ is gone – This potion has magic powers * : But Allah is Great We 'll ride in state On the beast that caused our trouble. O Wife of my Life he kicked up a strife, And now his load is double | * A DRAMA OF THE DESERT. \ \ How WE MADE AN ENE MY. ". - º .."]]|| immºr. m. º: -- | --ºwn \" *" º!" Jenks was a briefless counselor, whose funds were Tears coursed his cheeks in rivulets, his uncle The old man gave him all the points, and Jenks Which, while he put in legal shape, his uncle always low, was so ill ! began to write, - thought: “What luck . " So, when his uncle summoned him, he thought (He "d brought the necessary forms with which to Well pleased to find himself the heir of all there As from his nephew's overcoat he drew a sheet he'd better go. - draw the will.) was in sight. called PUCK. º eſs cº ~ - Fº #| || him, ºr T -Qs - --> --- --> *==== == H -- N WS s => º 3āz-e 2–3 - - | ** = zºº NNNNewWºº He deemed 't might serve to drive away the thoughts He read but half a dozen lines, when he began to “Tear up the will "his uncle cried; “I’m good But once at home Jenks gave full vent to his un- - of death and pain shout - for years a score. bridled rage, - (The while his nephew wrote away with all his And roar aloud with laughter; Jenks in horror I'm well again, that laugh has made me better And every week he buys a PUCK and rends it might and main). turned about— than before." page from page. l . THE DIFFERENCE. I º NOTHING NEW. e- - - - - - º a - MRS. PUGH. — Oh, yes! just because it is a little damp out, you won’t go to church. The pouring rain did nºt keep you home from the theatre the other night. MR. PUGH. — If I had remained home from the theatre the other night, I would have lost the four dollars I paid for the tick- ets; but if I stay home from MRS, BEACH.- I’m afraid my bathing suit will not be fit to wear this year. MR. BEACH. — It was n’t fit to wear last year. FISH ! MRS, NEWLIWED.—What are these ? FISHWOMAN. – Them is Spanish mackerel. MRs. NEwiliwed. — I'll take three pounds of them. My husband is very fond of Or, A COMBINATION THAT PRODUCED A REFORM. anything imported. church, this morning, I 'll THE FUR BOA AND THE GUST OF WIND ; be in fifty cents. PUCK’S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. A TWO-EDGED JOKE. {º} º ºx jº - - : º, º 'º., ºr ‘ºº...!, ...: º sº º *** ------- - Zºº - N - ºſſ | |hiſ ſlº º º | t - | O | || W | º | Wºlºſ" º º º º º |W | | | | º | |\\ º | |}| ºſſº | §ſº ºft|† | º º | Hi/ſu, * - º - ----- || Yeº ºil/ºr - cº-ºſmº?". Cº. --_º kN Miſſºu - Ex-Sº Hº!, Tº sº *... Q. *: "º **Tºº º *|| 4. º (i.º. , - ..." .* - - - - : … º.º. \ºjº º . -*. :- º - **, º §l … : P. 3'--- - Dolly DIMPLE (a daredezz/).-Say, Bobby, we'll - play a joke on the tramp. Give him a quarter to jump To WEARY RAGGLES.– Hi, me deah boy | Here’s Ha! Ha! Ho ; Hol over the hedge. He’ll do it, and land in the ditch ; – a quarter; let me see you jump the hedge. - - - ha I haſ haſ - - - SHE HAD. y’ º UNPLEASANT T – Have you º - S$ 3.3 - - -*Y. - - RAMP. y º: º PROOF - ſ Tºz. YOUNG SOFTLEIGH. anything in the eating line you can offer a (who is going to take | poor º 1S º º º his best gir/ out for a in g it to Chicago % || || - - - - > c º º ||||| ſº 7-ide wiſh // e º fezz/fort º of Żroſosing on the road), I suppose the horse is gentle — one HOUSEWIFE,- Cer- º tainly, Here, Tige! º | | | ſ | A CHANGE. s 㺠of those horses you MRS, STOUTENBERG, º §). can drive with – er– — You did n’t use to - ** * 22 §: ºrſº. Tº your — er – feet, if puff and growl when I º º \%.º.º." s=", J% º' RNs ºw. necessary. asked you to put my - - STABLE KEEPER. | I | | | WEARY RAGGLEs.- Much obliged, gents. I’d stand Y d r — — . . — ; ; ; a good deal of mud for five beers. — You can CIO any- slipper on before we thing with him. Just were married. STOUTENBERG.— No ; but you forget that while your foot has grown ask your young lady — she has been out behind him with half the three sizes larger, you still wear the same size shoe. boys in town. AN INSPIRATION. As FAR AS HE COULD GO. PARKE.— I’m afraid to go 1 My wife will smell my breatl FATHER MCNALLY (wit/ righteous indignation). — Fer shame an ARKE-1 m atraid to go home. y Wife will Smell my breath. y 7 - - HOUSTON.—You can easily fix that. ye, O'Bleary. Ye 're half dhrunk. PARKE outs/y HOW 2 O’BLEARY (a/o/ogetica//y).-Oi know it, yer worship; but it 's not (an-rious/y).— How : : ) - - HOUSTON.— Go and have a tooth pulled, and tell her you took my fault. Oi've shpint all the money Oi had. - - cocaine and whiskey. | | | | º *:::= T-- =\RSnºws TURNING THE TABLES. ACTOR (as PORTER sets his trunk down). — Good | Good | Best I've ever seen. Take it down and carry it up again. THE PROBABLE CAUSE. PORTER (in amazement). — Carry thot troonk down an' oop BROWN. — What baggy, sloppy-looking trousers agin', jist ter pl’ase you? Yer crazy. ACTOR (in apparent surprise). — Don't be offended, my Henppeck wears BROWN, JR.— I heard Mother say that his wife wore friend. I was pleased with the way you did your work, and I the trousers at his house, and I guess that is the reason was only giving you an encore. - PUCK’S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. THE ADAPTATION OF NATURAL RESOURCES IN AFRICA. * – \\ s º -- jº - WN § W. - N - § º % A DEFINITION. TEACHER.—What is the feminine of man, Thomas 2 THOMAS. — Woman - TEACHER.—And the feminine of gentleman 2 THOMAS (un/es.ifaſing/V), – Dude. SHATTERING AN IDOL. SON.— I don’t think George Washington was so awful smart. FATHER.—What do you mean 2 SON.— I'll bet ten cents he could n’t ride a bicycle ! - - º | º º WEAK. LEDYARD.—How does Owens stand with your house 2 JOLONEL. —He does n’t stand at all. the last three years. We've been carrying him for MORE THAN ORDINARY COURAGE REQUIRED. PLAIN AUNT (reading Aer NIECE a ſesson in maiden/y deſortment). — No man ever kissed me. NIECE. – But that would n’t stamp man as a coward, would it, Aunty, dear? THE NEAR-SIGHTED GARDENER: OR, HOW WANDERING WILLY SECURED A HAIR CUT. | | |}º % %| | º | |WILLIA | | |||}| | | | | | | ||| - d | | |ſ|| | N - º º | |||| | º! |ſ|||||W i | |W . | | Millſ - | Mºſ ||| W |||}|| | |||} Infº | | ſº HER MOTHER'S FIRST VISIT. º | - § - ſº...III II º: | 6′. ||| The news of the coming of Mother-in-law And her greeting was such as to make his heart sink: . But when dinner-time came, he began to take heart, And he blessed her sweet voice, when in horror she spoke: Was the cause of the dropping of dear George's jaw; “I must take you in hand | You look worried, I think." For she'd made what he loved — a green gooseberry tart “He shan't go up garret ! George, stay here and smoke.” - - -- = sº Nº. Niš ºl LCM-C Clſº HF I l cº - - - - - - -- fi º l–ll- |||| - > - wº - - - == - Jº - :^*_º - - _ | --- wº - | - º - \ 2. | -- º & - ** * Next day she remarked: “My dear girl, don't say no / “You're neglecting your husband," she cried the next night: Next day he fell ill; the revulsion 'd near killed him. On the morrow she left; but his wife moaned : “You know There's a lark at the club, and George really must go!" “Just look at these clothes — not a button in sight !” But she soothed with cologne, and with cool cobblers filled him. She has four other sons-in-law — don't take on so 1 '' PROFITABLE. TOMMY BYERS. – Jimininy | What you goin’ to do with all them rags? JIMMY COLLAR. – Going to sell 'em to the rag-man ; get two cents a pound TWO BAD BREAKS. AT THE BLACKWILLE GAMES. HOBSON.—What did your fiancée say when you told her you were dead broke P - DOBSON (sad/y). — She said she was fond of consistency in all things; so she for 'em. broke the engagement. TOMMY BYERS.—Where dº you git 'em P - JIMMY COLLAR.— Me mother was downtown shoppin' yesterday, and these are the samples she got. - MORE MONEY IN IT. MRS. POETICU.S. – Is n’t this hat a poem, dear? POETICUS (sadly, as he Zooks aſ ſhe Číž).— I wish I could write that kind. A RARER CURIOSITY. MUSEUM PROPRIETOR. – But I see nothing curious about you. º APPLICANT. - I am a first-class cook who was actually discharged for impu- HIS LITTLE JOKE. FAIR SKATER.—Will this ice support me? - - - - - - - dence. BACKER OF THE “UNKNOWN.” — Say, Mistah __ ------- - YNNSSSSSºx. ICE MAN (owner of the Žond).- - -- MUSEUM PROPRIETOR.— Good heav- Well, i h ! It :- ? Judge, am dere any objections for my man to carry ! D hink I ld h ell, 1t Ought to . t s goin’ to 'bout fibe pounds wid him in dissher race? BACKER OF THE “UNKNOWN" (as his man leads enS I O you t 11) COu .*. t e support me and my family all next THE JUDGE. – Cert'ly not, if yo's fool 'nough to down the stretch). — Fo’ de lawd! Ise knowed he 'd woman who discharged you ? Money is Summer. "low him to run dat way. do it. Dat's de way he got his trainin'. no object DISAGREEABLE FATHER.— Never mind, young man I'll help her on with her coat, myself — A SURE THING. BOB TAYLOR.— Do you want to know how to win at horse-racing 2 JACK POTTER.— Certainly BOB TAYLOR.—Play the horses that I don’t. A HIRSUTE TOKEN. CLARA.— Why, what a large pillow ! New, is n’t it? MAUD.— Yes. You know Charley Gouger, Yarvard's half-back? Well, he had his hair cut off, stuffed that pillow with it, and gave it to me. A QUALIFICATION. BAUMGARTNER.— Mein frent, I only ask a fair profit. DOOLEY. — Ya-as; a church fair profit. Ełº ansiºn v º: º W | |I|| |||} lſº V ULGAR DISPLAY. PUCK'S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. º *** Tº | º ſ \\ 㺠ºw 2 LOVE IV.S. CAUTION. “For I'm up to their tricks — SHE WAS ALL RIGHT. GOOD SAMARITANESS.– Have you lost your- self little girl? THE LITTLE GIRL (weeping). —N -n - no I've lost my mother. º THE POSITION FILLED. WEARY WALKER.— I want work. ſº PROPRIETOR.—What can you do? WEARY WALKER.— Nothin'. PROPRIETOR.— Oh, our office-boy does that A “MOTH '' CHEST. º º MR. RUST. Where did all these moths come - RNSWs from P MRS. RUST – I just opened the camphor “And they can't fool me. I was a young bird, once, myself.” chest. s & Ž _s Sº *NSN. ANOTHER LABOR-SAVING INVENTION. DUSTY RHODEs. – Fer th’ love of heaven Weary, what you got there 2 - WEARY WALKE.R.— Just swiped 'em from a dago down in - ROSENBAUM.–So hellup me! How Goldstein worships the village. Greatest scheme I've struck yet—only have to use der almighty tollar ! Shoost look at dot sofa yer legs to steer by, an' ye can go to sleep movin' along. - A Soldier of the Legion, on an outpost lone and drear, Sits shaving, all unconscious that the stealthy foe is near. Then she circles round her victim, jabs him with her spear so bright, While his teeth they loudly chatter and his eyes pop out with fright. –--- = Kºjº, Quick all warfare is forgotten – to the mirror quick she turns – All the wild charms of her person for the first time she discerns. º! - º º - º º ſº º º . … - - **** º - pºº - * | - º - - - - All his terror is forgotten, he's the bravest of the brave, Plucking victory from defeat by the very closest shave. AS IN A LOOKING GLASS. A MIRRORED FANTASY OF DARKEST AFRICA. |→ * - - - º - | - ſº | º N sy " º º º º * Sº Egº)); But his toilet's interrupted, and he boundeth in his fear, – The Amazon has grabbed his gun and brandishes her spear. º ſº ſººn - º º lſº º | º º On his knees he begs for mercy, cries in purest French “Alas!” – While the war-maid notes, with wonder, her reflection in the glass. º - º º - - º- 2. Tº º | . º ºr: | L |U Lost in admiration wholly, scans her image full and clear, While Jacques grasps the situation and likewise the gun and spear. N H A R F ºff ºf n : - ºf hiſ in ſº Then his captive stalks in sadness while he chuckles in his glee: “Oh, woman lovely woman lost again through vanity 1" PUCK'S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. “HE LAUGHS BEST WHO LAUGHS LAST.” | º Miss Angelina Pettibone was riding down the road, Miss Angelina Pettibone, within her ornate chair, Within her chaſse à Aorteur most becomingly bestowed. Was attracted by their laughter to the peddler trudging there. Her sleek and well-fed chairmen, recking little of her heft, Whereupon, she quickly thought of some things that really ought To, now the opportunity arose, be by her bought; Jeered loudly at a peddler as they passed him on the left, Because, poor chap, 't was his mishap to groan beneath his load. And called him back, that of his pack she might inspect the ware. At * - "º A º' º, K. º***º º \SNS Šsº %:á @Hºº 3 *-* º º % *- º * j º º Miss Angelina Pettibone went riding down the road, The heavy pack upon the roof of her sedan bestowed. Her sleek and well-fed chairmen staggered 'neath the extra weight And left behind, with envious mind, the peddler all elate, Miss Angelina Pettibone of money had no lack — Yet, of course, she had n’t anything to put upon her back — And, of course, she could n’t stop when she 'd once begun to shop; And one by one her guineas in his hands began to drop, And though to swear they did n’t dare, they thought: “Well, we’ll be blowed | * Until she’d got upon the spot the contents of his pack. CAUTIOUS. - A MITIGATING CIRCUMSTANCE. DEALER.—Yes; I'll kill them for you and send them home. “Was n’t it awful ? She married a poor dry-goods clerk VERY NEW HOUSEWIFE (hesitating/y).—Well, if you are Zositively “Yes; but just think how handy he will be to send downtown to sure they are fresh, you may. My husband will only eat fowl when it is match goods !” fresh. TIME W.S. SPACE. A DIFFERENCE. NEwARK MAN.—Ah, you Chicago people have it nice To be able to MRS. SAUERS. — I don't consider marriage a lottery. Do you ? pass your days among these grand and lofty edifices, beautiful parks, lakes, MR. SAUERS. – No | If a man draws a blank in a lottery, he can and so forth. I suppose you know every nook and corner of the place? tear it up and take another chance. CHICAGO MAN. – Heavens, no I’ve only lived here twenty years. | ?? AN EXPENSIVE ACCOMPLISHMENT. º * |iºn, MR. K. NINE.- Yes; he is very bashful before strangers, but he obeys everything I say to him. Stand up, Rover ! AN AWFUL CHANGE. Mr. Slowton is compelled to take a thousand- mile trip for the first time in his life; and this is how important he feels as he leaves his house for the ticket-office. “Give me a ticket to Chicago' OBLIGING, BUT CARELESS. º º |-| || - º -- → * * * -jºº, * * * % #' ' * º - W. %; º wanºuvºwsº - , , )|\{ | M., ("If yºu'." # \{ *"Lºſ | || ºf ~ - N Nº fºllºwulu Muſſºluºtº. v. ' ' waſ . . . . . . . §www.lºw wºW/ * @º www. * - STRANGER.— Can you tell me where Mr. Subbubs lives? - ~ §2. Sº.. º §: YNNSRSSSwe “Round-trip or single P Say it quick, now ; we can't wait here all day I See P'' ..]- . . . . . ºil. ~1 - - unwºlwºw M\,, ||...}, \| tº - --- \\\\\\\"...ſº, RNSWRSSºx THE NEW Boy.— Yas, sab | He libs right in dat house dar. AN ACCIDENT THAT SPOILT * |||ſimill." Miss FLIRTY (posing in a very chic atti- tude).- I am quite uncertain, Mr. Long, - whether to say yes or no. Flirty — Agnes – on my humble fall — IT ALL. ſ.T.T. |*||\, *|| ||, - Tr"Tº |"Tºº littilitiittºnitºr-in-tº- Rºssº. MR. LONG.- Oh, hearken unto me, Miss knees I Miss FLIRTY.— Help! Murder | Papa! SHOEMAKER, STICK PUCK'S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. TO YOUR LAST: OR, AN OLD ADAGE SUBSTANTIATED. = º ! {{!!!º. º MRs. MURPHY. —Look, Dinny—Oi brought this home to yez fer a soovynir av th' Fair. Oi bought it at th' Dootch Village. “Now fer a loight." WOULD N'T PAY IT. GRANE PITT. This is the Stock Exchange, Uncle. The seats here sometimes sell for as high as twenty thousand dollars. UNCLE SILAS.–TWENTY THOUSAND DOL- , LARS fer a seat Phe79 ſ Them fellers down there 'pears to have some sense; most of 'em are standing up. A DIAGNOSIS. FOSTER.—Any one could tell he was an artist. FELTON.— He 's not an artist; he 's a mu- sician. FOSTER.— How do you know P FELTON.— Why, he smells of cheese — not of whiskey ! A CHEAP AMUSEMENT. MRS. UPTON.— I don’t know what to do with myself this afternoon. Give me three dollars for a ticket to the concert, and I'll go there. HARDY UPTON.— Really, Clara, I have n’t but twenty-five cents, and – MRS. UPTON.— Oh, well, give me that, and I'll spend the afternoon shopping ! NOT BURNING HIS BRIDGES. MRS. MCNALLY (ſo her /...usband, who has just made a Mew Year's reso- Åsº ///iopt 7tez/e7° ſo foºd/ a7t of her ) |-}) \LL)||T rº- - • --- %-lººkº º =} º: º- ſº sº/ (9) () */s - c. c. c. c. c. c. s "wºwº MR. MURPHY. — My but "t is th' ilegant poipe fer a mon wid money, loike mesilf. *NWS7R/R7R7R757S7NZNº. Sºsºyºº. > §§§º ºfºº SNSSSSºx. “Clane oop th' wreck, Mary Ann. Youse do be gettin' foolisher an' foolisher ivery day. Oi know a good ting whin Oi how it." “Be th' Saints | wake.'' It houlds enough to last a “ Dom th' Dootch an' their poipes' " NOT COMMENDATORY. DAUGHTER (//eading for /er ſover).- But, Father, I 'm sure it ’s not my money he is after. He says he would marry me if I were ever so poor STERN AND PROSAIC PARENT.- Yes; he looks as if he had no better sense. OF SOME USE. OLD GOTROx (ſo / is ſashionaö/ø son).- You and your set thoroughly disgust me. You could get along as well without a head as with On C. ALGY..—Aw-- Fawther—how wediculous ! Why, wheah would a fellah weah his hat? THREE BANDS IN ONE BLOCK. SON (ſoo/*ing out ſ/he win- dow aſ /assing Žarade). — Papa, when those veterans went into battle, did the bands lead as they do in the parades? FATHER (w/o / as ſto sou/ /or music). – No: but I wish they had. OBTRUSIVE. MR. PARVNOO (a/ / is ſirst sweſ/ dinner, and eaſing coſt- dro/).-Th’ Saints be blissed Out goes iver' drop. MR. MCNALLY (anatious/y). — Phist, Biddy. Doan't t’row it away ! Oi may be too wake to shtick to me resolution and moight nade a drop once in a whoile to kape me courage up. sommé ſor //e ſirst time). – Is n’t the soup // ??? / MRs. ARVNOO (wiſ/, a smeer). —Yes; it's done so you can see the decorations on the bottom of the plate while you are eating it. BAD LANGUAGE. LITTLE BROWNING.- Mama, Hubley How- ells uses awfully bad language. MRS, BACON HILL-What did he say, dearest? LITTLE BROWNING...—He said ‘‘damn yer.” MRs. BACON HILL (/orrifted). —Oh, Brown- ing ! Never you say such a thing as that LITTLE BROWNING (/roudly).-No, Mama; I never say “yer.” I always say “you.” WOMAN'S READY SYMPATHY. WEARIED FATHER.— They say that no matter how one suffers, some one has suffered more. All the same, they could n’t beat me in this business, for I have walked this child the entire night for fully six hours. MOTHER (ca/m/y).- Yes, Henry dear; but suppose you lived up near the Pole, where the nights are six months long 2 - RNSRWs. * AAV EAA’ſ Y FA/LL.” “STEADY WORK.” } PUCK'S ACCOMMODATING. WALKABOUT WALKE.R.— Say, young feller, won't you give me a lift 2 - ELEVATOR BOY. – Certainly Step in Which floor? DOMESTIC COMEDIES. H|| |#/. A3/Z LITTLE ENOUGH. MRs. MCCOY. — Phat are yez goin' to do wid it, Dennis? MR. MCCOY. – Oi 'm goin' to take it to th' pawnbroker's an' see phat Oi kin git on it, MRS, MCCOY. – Well, efyez can't git anyting more on it down there than yez have bin able to git an it here – doan't l'ave it. A JOKE THAT DID N'T WORK. m". "|}, . . . |||||||||| BRUNO. — Come, Cicero, here 's lots of fun. Let's sit here and howl; we'll scare the man * that lives in that house nearly dead. He be- lieves it's a sure sign of death for a dog to howl at night. º - " - 1. `NS RN's CICERO. — Well, I guess the man was right; ſ — — - - ! – Wow — it was a sign of death. Poor Bruno PUCK’S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. CAUGHT. PROPERTY OWN.E.R.— Hal Now I'll catch the fellow who pastes bills on my fence in utter defiance of my warning ! |V’ - - ~ 22- - r £S | “I'll just see who he is, and swear out a warrant for his arrest." “Hi, there ! You APPEARANCES DECEITFUL. T2 s Ø *iº PROPRIETOR OF TONSORIAL ART STUDIO. — Con- found it ! i. THE FATHER.— I'd like to get a couple of bottles of your anti-fat for my boy. Here comes one of them women in to have her bang trimmed. They're more bother than they're worth. MLLE. LOMBARDINI. — Say, Mister; give me a clean shave, twice over. I 've quit the dime-museum business and goin' to get married 2 IT DID N’T GO FAR ENOUGH. Gº % ź.” º º Z sº % - % fºur- ". % % % (ºr: %% {} º = : 7% | //y % - % - 3. % - 4 §/ 3 ºktº " Qº %2}º . º, º % £2% º § *\ºš Z É - Z FATHER (a week later).- The boy took those two bottles, and just look at him ANTI-FAT PROPRIETOR. — It appears to have done its work well. FATHER (angrily).- Does it? Jimmy, stand off and let the gentleman look at you! ſ THE CASH-BOY MAGIC A.N. wrapping bef % º Tººrºº'ſ wº- Charley Woglom went a-shopping for to get his girl a fan, Nor scarcely glanced toward his right – he was a modest man. wrap PING DEP % // - - sº | º sº $º º _º||\ º º But that Charley was a masher is a fact that can't be hid, And you'll mark the general int'rest in what Charley slyly did; sº-s, { } T was Christmas Eve, and Charley took his present in its box, And in person he presented it to wealthy Lucy Rocks. #º |#º A sleepy cash-boy came and took his purchase, likewise that Of the lady right behind him, who, you'll note, was rather fat. And had they all not been absorbed in Charley's little game, Perhaps each one would not have grabbed the first long box that came. And with bright anticipations he awaited her surprise As his handsome marked-down present met her pleased and happy eyes. - But when she saw it, horror came on her and Charley, too; And her shrieks brought in her father, and he knew just what to do. And he did it with a vengeance; explanations were in vain, And Charley'll go to Biffany's when he buys a fan again. WOMAN’S INHUMANITY TO WOMAN. z % * - - º º %N % ſº *A*/ º * % % à 3 *\ Z2 2 - NKN § º º : \ º 2 | * 2- = Quoth Mrs. Highton : “If you’re sure this is the latest shade, I’ll take ten yards; — and now I wonder how I’ll have it made.” \\ Then Mrs. Highton's rival, Mrs. Inswim, came that way: “I’ll have a pattern off of that ; – and send it up to-day.” Said Mrs. Highton’s Modžste : “Now, just leave it all to me. I’ll make it in the latest mode, just in from dear Pa-ree.” Mrs. Inswim's own dressmaker, an American named Harris, Said she'd make it in a late style she had just received from Paris H i. - - º - --> ziº - §§ % ſº - º gº º; º '7. A_\ || || || || || 3 tº §º: ºf I #. * { --- - ~! m Thus there was a tragic meeting at the portals of the church ; And the dressy Mrs. Inswim was left fainting in the lurch. She called her cook : “Here, Nora, I present this dress to you. You must go to church to-morrow and sit near the Inswim pew.” Mrs. Inswim's dress came promptly home on Saturday A. M. She said, “I’ll wear it out at once. It is a perfect gem I ?” Mrs. Highton from her window saw a sight that made her hiss : “Look—look that odious creature has a new dress just like this.'” ART V.S. ART. HARBINGER OF LUCK. VERY RESERVED. MRs. UPTHECREEK (aſ the Zoaſt Erhibition). — I hear these 'ere picturs costs an awful lot of money. MR. UPTHECREEK. – Don't you believe it. I seed a man paintin' 'em in a win- der on Broadway, and it did nºt take him more 'n five minutes to turn one out, THE ORIGIN. CHIEF INQUISITOR. — What have you there, Bro- ther P . ASSISTANT. — The most horrible torture yet invented. CHIEF INQUISITOR. – Good ' What might you Call it? ASSISTANT. — A camel's hair undershirt. - - - - ſºlº", º | sº, !/ / ſº . s= Jº \ \ | | - | §§ - - (ſº gº Towns END (spending a day in the country). — Eureka! Eureka A four - leaf clover ! Now I will, have luck with a big L' º iſſu ſº || tº 'ſ '' º, º W. f \\ wº w\ ſe ;|'' s Nº. - * º à º '''', ..." "Infºſi \º 2 y C lº - Vºl. | * | º ) |||||| | sº: \ºn º ſº : || || \||. *. ºr - - º - a ſºvº • * But just then he put his ſoot into a hornets' nest, and — Aſe will be out in a month if he has luck. RSºs MR. LOVETT (an acce/f- ed suiſor). — Here, Willy; I want to ask you something on the quiet. When your sister was at the seashore this Summer, did she keep the young men at a dis- tance 2 WILLY. – You bet she did Why, she'd take 'em 'way, 'way down the beach, and keep ’em there till meal-time ! LOCATING IT. MOTHER. - Your finger may hurt, dear; but it is nºt injured enough to put a rag on it. HAROLD. — Well, put a rag on it, anyhow, so I will know which finger hurts' PUCK'S DOMESTIC : ſ | | º ºft ºft – Fºº-à sº *-* **** - Š-2. <=~ ~. --Nswº HE WAS OBEDIENT. MOTHER (wrath////V).--Did n't Oi ſe//yez not ter play wid dat McGeachy boy 2 BOY (wo/7///V), – I ain't: he's ben playin' wid me. = ** º iſ | | | - → º | SS | BLACK ON BLACK. SALESWOMAN.— Yes; they are our best black stock- ings. MISS EBONY COLE (amriously).-Are yo' sure de black won't come off on de laigs? COMEDIES. | ºr | Ǻ f ſ - º § sº RUINED. PROPRIETOR.—What are you taking back there? WAITER.— Customer sent this beefsteak back; says he could n't cut it. PROPRIETOR (examining it). — Take it right back to him and tell him he'll have to pay for it. We can never use it again; he has bent it all out of shape. AN IMPROVEMENT. TOURIST (in old Geº man castle).- You need n't go over the story of the tragedy; I know it well. But what makes you charge double what you did when I was here two years ago? GUIDE. – Ah – mein Herr. Dis vas a much finer sgele- ton dan de vun ve hat ad dot dime. Mr. Magruder had a pup, And to a ladder tied him up “Ho!” said the painter, “’t would be boss fun To see those sawed-off leglets run, PUCK'S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. A BOOMERANG. ill'ſ !"itinguiſlin, While he went in to get a drink. The pup sat down for a quiet think, “And a little exterior decoration Will aid in their speed-acceleration — ' NO IMPROVEMENT. MR. PORKINGHAM.–You pay Mary’s new singing teacher twice as much as you did the other one, don't you ? MRs. PORKINGHAM.–Yes; he's the most celebrated teacher in the city. MR. PORKINGHAM (in disgust). —Well, he 's a beat Mary don't sing a bit louder now than she did when that cheap man was learning her. “TRY NOT THE PASS,” the old man said: “For last year was it issued.” IN THE WRONG A FORGED CHECK. HOW THE INGENIOUS CONVICT MADE A LIGHTNING CHANGE. and lung trouble. - º º iſiºniſ Hillſ ---- it … ºn tº ,” "...iſ |}}}"/"Yº º' ºf -- - -- - And thought the front was best for viewing The work that the man on top was doing. "ºf ***Mutº:: ***. } || || || """ ſº. He also remarked, before he died, He wished he 'd 'a' known the pup was tied. - OH, BE JOYFUL DR. LITTANY (on the way home from Easter service). — Ah, Miss Van Mode, Eastertide is truly a joyous occasion MISS VAN MODE. —Yes; one does feel so happy in new clothes. PHYSICIAN – HEAL THY SELF DIRECTION. MISSIONARY. —I hope, my poor unfortunate brother, that you now see the error of your Way. THE UNFORTUNATE BROTHER (a blºg/ar by Żrofession). – You 're right I do, gent. If I’d sloped right down der street, instead of runnin' in der ary way, I wouldn’t 'a' dropped inter th’ arms of der copper. § º Fººt-º º |||sº- - sº tº ºf a | º Wºº- Jſ/ſ. º º - ~-ºr º MRS. RIVERSIDE RIVES.–It is too bad that your husband has throat That is a horrible cough he has. MRS. ICKLEY. — That was the doctor coughing. ANOTHER OPPOR- TUNITY LOST. MR. VAN TONELEIGH. – I see that Mrs. De Swellton is dead. MRS. TONELEIGH (in Žorror). — Oh, is n’t that awful! (Wee/s.) MR. TONELEIGH (in st/7/rise). — Why, I thought she was your most bitter enemy MRS. VAN TONELEIGH. —Yes; but I did so want her to see me in my new dress next Sunday. Essºsºs PUCK'S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. A SLIGHT TURN. [[III İ | T < || | sº ||| \ \ | º HT" 'lliſ' lºſiſ' sº ------ji "| §§ % WICKED Youth. – Irish Irish 1 MURPHY (as he turns the hod). — Phat's thot? DOES IT MEAN THE DIVORCE COURTS 2 º Dear reader, we will not tell you what he is saying to “Oh, George Could you persuade her? Did she her; but that is his wife listening. Let us hear what she promise you she would not leave 2 Oh lashe did I can says to him when he comes out. see it by your face " - CRUSHING A BORE. PUCK'S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. AN APPROPRIATE FRAME. . …, 2 × … º-ººººº. - 2 º º Ż % % % º 2. - Ø -- % % 2 2. 2 - - - - % & 2. - %//Z, º Wºź - % |*|| || || t - % º 7.2----- ~. *4% % % % º - º % % º % º % I. AUCTIONEER.—Now, gents, what am I bid for this MRs. HENLEY. — William, Mother's picture has been - novelty?– “The Caged Lion "- The frame forms the standing here unframed, ever since Christmas. Now, cage. The picture is damaged, but the frame is in good you must get a frame for it to-day. condition. Fifty cents do I hear? Sold to the gentle- man, for fifty cents % --- % = _ry- - -2'; ſ % º ~. *2 % º % * * 2 2% % % % % % 22 º Ø % Ø % FOREWARNED — FOREARMED. MALE VOICE FROM ABOVE (sweet/y). – Has that young man gone yet, Tilly * THE WIFELY REMEDY. MR. BRACE (a/eaſing/y). – Oh, pshaw Mary, there goes a suspender 2 % %2 % ~ % % % Ø % 2 % ºv ~ 22 TILLY (/es.ifaſing/V).—Why – er– no – Popper MALE VOICE FROM ABOVE (more - swee//y). —Will you please bring me up that pair of boots you see by the door THE YOUNG MAN (/remit/ous/y).— Ah – er – Miss Tilly While you are up I guess I’d better be going. NO CAUSE FOR ALARM. MR. HOBSON SNOBBS (of New York). — I –ah — believe hog-killing is one of your principal amusements in Chicago. MISS LAKESIDE,- Have no fear, Mr. Snobbs. The mere fact of your being my father's guest will insure your safety. THE MAIN OBJECT. STAYATT HOLMES...—Was your expe- dition successful ? ARCTIC EXPLORER. – Yes; we got back. - - MR. RUSHBONE.- Dat 'pears to be a kinder skit- tish anermil, Mistah Watson; but I'se doan' see no use starbin' de berry bones out'en his hide, % % 2/722 % III. MR. HENLEY. —There you are, Mary. The frame fits the picture as if it had been made for it; and I got it at a bargain, too, GOOD POINTS. 24º ~~~ º % :// % MR, WATSON (as the mule grows restlessJ.-Yo' doan't, doan't yo'ſ Well, jes look at dat, den, No goin' ober his head dar – button off my trousers. MRS. BRACE (sweet/y). — Never mind, dear; here 's a safety-pin. A DOMESTIC INSULT. MRS. NEWLYWED.— I shall go home to Mother this very day ! VISITOR.—Why, what 's the matter, dear? MRS. NEW LY WED.— I made a batch of doughnuts this morning, and George is out there pitching quoits with them. FEMININE WARFARE. MRS. DOOLEY (/rol/d/V), – Mrs. Hag. gerty, th’ woife av th’ rich conthractor called an me yist'day. MRS. CASEY (/ea/ot/s).-Ah, yis Oi did hear thot th’ praste made her do pinance; but Oi 'd no idea 't was as bad as thot. - WTW) ſ §3% [[$3.7% |Wºº —"An' de backward spring is jes' as good,” || || - § -- - ; º sº º: º - - C º º º * *º: Brown's cook is peeling potatos, cross and hurrying, too, - “Shut up yer screeching, ye divil ' " she crossly at him cries, In comes Willy whistling shrilly, “Two Little Girls in Blue." And a half-peeled "spud" stops with a thud between his ear and eyes. But the butcher, ringing at the bell, stops further parley here; And he dumps the “ Murphy's '' on the floor, gets water from the pail, “I’ll get even yet, for that, you bet!" and Willy, rubs his ear; And lays a plan for Mary Ann in a way that will not fail; For, with the aid of the ladder, he puts the pan up high, Then he takes the ladder and hies away behind the pantry-door, To bring to book that cross-grained cook when she comes in by-and-by. And the cook comes in as mad as sin as she views the kitchen floor. | | - º - - * A ſº º * Qº --- ſº º - - - - - Cººººººº. —Eey = º tºº- N__ - RNSwº * Look where the divil has put me pan but I'll get it wid this shtick, But down comes the pan, and its contents, too – for water she did not look; And I'll larrup that kid fer what he did in a way that'll make him sick " Now Mrs. Brown is scouring the town in search of another cook. THE COO K-LADY'S WATER LOO. - - - PUCK'S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. WHY THE SALE WAS NOT CONSUMMATED. | III: - - - unli º - l]|| & * ||||| | - ſº * º |" | | || | y, sº || ". N *A twº. w INTENDING PURCHASER.— Now, just one more stroke of your brush, and I’ll take the picture at your own price. ARTIST (furning around in deſight). thank you, sir! w sº §4) RNºNº. — 1 — 1 — 1 — I {4 º º vº § º TOYA|}| gº (º º - Sº, - nº § 3 º' º º - - & §: L- º º S § |% % " - *S ` \|^4% º, §º =º AE-Eas/ºil As WW |jº 㺠wº *32G-# ſº - “BOX PARTIES” ARE VERY POPULAR AT THE “ FAIR.'' HUNGRY LION. – Oh, don't be selfish, little boy want your bread and butter/ WHO HAS NOT www.www. "...º HusbAND (?rritably). — If you women would only make a little effort when you attempt anything you would succeed oftener than you do. You need n’t laugh ; it has got to come ! WIFE. – Oh, George I have forgotten my gloves, and I can't get the drawer open. ºr, º º º/V/º 5 º º -- N £º - }{\ º ſ Ilişºzá ſº Ş- i." I tºº. !" | § I tº jº ºs \\?'ſ" - = Nºssº NO CAUSE FOR ALARM. I don't BEEN CAUGHT : º . h There ! ! ! PUCK'S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. A NIGHT AT THE SHOW. - ---- - **Tºº ^ Y -II- -- = -º-º: - lºſºvº --- - ſtº)) º --- - - -3. WN - Sºğ - à - - : I º: . *:: \ yº) ºf ºš º ---> º: - vu" z ºf | º: o - º rº- ºz, -ºš N . - - rº- - | -- ---- ºš|º]: iº || |ºlºlºl. ãº, #ilºlºſ allºu, S- *Hººk: | |||ſ|| ºurnal'huanitºl - Fº º | H H H | H º - | |||||||||| ||||||| | | | | | |: | | | | - º | º \"" º *|| || | |' ſil', ri- ! - i. . ". | 'll : * , *:: ift º ... " -- - in 1 - ". - -- ! º: º TN # ACT II. - ſº KG # f -, o --------- -: - o - - º º - - U2' tº |*|† - - - * -> * > * ~ * > * - sº - - * * * * * Yez will not P Jist wait till Oi git a n 1 \l * | | T - º | (But just then Wandering Willy's ſeeſ stid from their perch.) - A REMUNERATIVE JOKE. ///zz” - v \ , " ' " \\\\ , , |f , // || ºw, y, % º //nº, - ||||||||||||||||||Illulºuq, "... ºnº,...... %/º. -- | |||||||Inhill. ||||||||||||'','!")))'ſ]]|||||||||||1111" |||||||||||''' iſ "Z ///j/º)" | | % "ſº ||| |S), (/; . . . . . %/ t % { ||17/ ºf CHARLEY CHAPPIE.-Aw, yes, me deah boy Heat the dollah wed-hot, and throw it on the - HUNGRY HENRY.— By Ginger | Here's HUNGRY HENRY. — A person has to be sidewalk, y' know, and some April Fool will luck! - - a little cautious on the first of April. come along and pick it up. ºSº (4 º R& NEVER SATISF1ED. IN THE SAME BOAT. 5) Aſº - MENDICANT. - Pity, kind sir! I am in & º MR. NEWLY WED.—And what is this, dear? great need of help. à Sàs "º's Nº. sº MRS. NEWLY WED.—Why, that is your beer, MR. SUBBUBS. – So am I. Been to Mº). — — — — Henry I heard you say you always liked it every intelligence office in town this morn- ; - - --- cold, so I 've kept cracked ice in it for over ing, and can’t get help of any kind' www. an hour. \\ - - , ' ' ' / LOOKING AHEAD. A M ISTAKE. - - ºm i - m ROBERT. - Mama, can I have another piece CIGARETTE VICTIM (w/º objects to Ai/e- ºil of ge smoking, ſo MAN IN THE REAR SEAT). — - º "| | MAMA.—Why do you ask, when you have Aw – beastly horrible, is n’t it? r º!!! MAN IN THE REAR SEAT. – Yes; it is Why don't you throw it away and smoke cigars not eaten all that you have on your plate? ROBERT.-Well, if I could have another piece I would nºt eat the crust of this THE REASON WHY. BIDDLE B. BIDDLE (of Phi/aae///ia). –Why do so many New Yorkers dislike Brooklyn so? - - HUNG Ry HENRY. – Hain't lived in this world MADISON SQUEERs – Because so many thirty-eight April-Fool days for nothin' — I hain't New Yorkers have to live there. - § - Aº \ A PROGRESSIVE RACE. * RNSWNSN: ENGLISH TOURIST (in AVew York)—I don't see any Irishmen working on the streets as I .did when I was here fifteen years ago. NATIVE. – No. They own the streets now. - / º/ / | | º Sº, º ºº | X_2 * || " ), § | || º º º (I/AW//W W///W | N///W) | ſ | W º ſº º %ft" r | - *g|| | - | -- º COULD N'T AFFORD THEM. "I" ſºn MT - r - - - trout - - MRs. WALTON.— Why don't you bring home some º A GREAT CREATION. occasionally, instead of these common catfish and flounders; - WALTON (amateur fisherman). — That 's just you, Mrs. MR. HARDACRE. – I tell you what, Becky; this 'ere fly- Extravagance Perhaps you don't know that trout are worth a paper I brought from town is great! Hits 'em every time. dollar a pound ! (Shwack /) Here goes another victim THE FIRE OF GENIUS, º º THE EDITOR.—Heavens ! Circulation down to nothing, coal-bin down to nothing, wood- pile down to nothing, and thermometer down to nothing. If something does n't turn up it. Good-day ! soon, I'll freeze. POET (entering). — I would like to leave this poem, in the hope that you will be able to use THE EDITOR. — Able to use it 2 Well, I should smile ! BASE INJUSTICE. MRS. KINDLY. — Now, I’ll give you a dime, poor man. But I /o/e you will not go and get drunk with it. THE POOR MAN (much /ſ/r/). — Lady, you do me a great wrong to suggest such a thing. MRS. KINDLY. — I did n’t mean to accuse you — THE POOR MAN.— I’m glad of it, lady. Do I look like a man who could get drunk on a dime? COMPETENT. PENN INKLEY. —I think I shall try my hand at magazine poetry. FABER.— Do you think you are capable You A MEAN, MEAN MAN. MR. CREWELL. – If I had known you were going to have fried beefsteak, I would have asked Bromley to dinner. - MRS. CREWELL. — Bromley to dinner I thought you hated him. MR. CREWELL. – I do. AT ASBURY PARK. MISS BEACH. – I wonder why these streets are so dusty 2 MR. BALL. – It’s a dry town. - *N A VALUABLE POINTER. know magazines require something more than rhyme. PENN INKLEY (enthusiasſica//y). – Capable Why, it’s just in my line ! I’ve been running the Puzzle Department of our paper for years || " |||| | MRS. ROSEN WIG. — Isaac, our Rebecca become acquainted mit six or seven gentlemen at der pall last evening, an' she vants to know if she can haf von to call on her each nighdt in der veek. Seven loffers meants seven cusdomers, Isaac. MR. RoseN WIG. — Dot's so. Tell her to velcome each and all, und hand dem my pusiness carts. THE EDITOR (writing). — Mr. T. Emerson Gibbs.-Your poem is accepted, and will be paid for on publication. add that there is more poetic warmth in these verses than in any we have received lately. RNSWSwe. LANDLADY (//easan//y). – You have grown much stouter since you came to board with me, Mr. DuBois. DUBOIS.–Yes; your son told me of a splendid place to eat. We would like to SHE DID NPT NEED IT, MUSIC TEACHER.— One – two – three ; one — two — three; rest — MISS NEWRICH (Zaking Aer ſirs? ſessons). -- Oh, I’m not tired, Per- fesser I could keep this up all day. CUPID’S FUN. ANACREON (aſ / is door). —Ah, you young rascal, I see through your disguise ! You ’re the same little chap who shot me some days - s Nºw ago. NAUTICAL. NSN CUPID (as messenger boy). — “A TW/AW PA’OAAE/AAA’.” May be this letter will heal your wound. I believe the lady says she will be a sister to you. Bye-bye! WASTED ADVICE. THE NEW PASTOR.— My brother, I adjure you to love your enemies. COLONEL FEUD (of the Kentucky Moonshine District). — Can't do it, Parson | Can’t do it ! THE NEW PASTOR.—You could if you would try. COLONEL FEUD.— Impossible Hain't got none to love. Shot the last one this mawnin' ' AN AWFUL FEELING, MRS. CONSOL.- I know you feel bad, but Time will heal all wounds. MRS. NEWWID.—I hope so | The way I feel now I could 7tez/e7. marry again A HOME FIELD. THE PASTOR.— Miss Ethel, you should be engaged in some mis- sionary work. - MISS ETHEL.-Oh, I am, and have been for some time past ! THE PASTOR. — I’m so gratified to hear you say so In what field are you engaged 2 But none of the seven lovers was allowed to call a MISS ETHEL (/rol/d/y).— I 'm teach- second time. ing my parrot not to swear. 1-2- 2S-2s º :^2_\ § sº Ö. Q. ºn- º A TRAGEDY | |. iſ ºn | , """ - - ºWſ tº THE WISE BURGLAR. BURGLAR. – Your money or your life INVENTOR,- I have nothing in the world but my great invention which I just completed to-day. Take that. BURGLAR (retiring). — I don't want it. I’m out for der dust – not trouble. A NECESSARY PART. MRS. KIDD.—Why, Willy, what are you doing to Horace? WILLY. — Playing doctor. MRS. KIDD. — But you are frightening him awfully. WILLY. —Yes; / 'm the doctor. IN CHICAGO. MR. WEST MON ROE. – These Eastern people are awfully care- less when eating. MR. FORT WAYNE. – How so? MR. WEST MONROE. — Just look at that Eastern man – how care- lessly he throws his napkin in his lap. He does n’t appear to care ºf 1": III]." 11 -- 11 : OF ERRORS. ,, itſ 11, n.,,, . in it --" III. \ mºlitiºn. ºlm. Hºlº" IV. A PREFERENCE. NURSE (as she ſºuts ROBERT to bed). — And what would you say if your mama should have a little baby brother or sister for you when you woke up in the morning : ROBERT. – Tell her I'd rather have a dog. AN EXPENSIVE DRUG. ANGRY MAN. — That prescrip- tion you gave me to have filled for my wife cost me a pretty sum. My dog ate it. - PHYSICIAN. – It certainly will - not cost you much to have it re- filled. --- ANGRY MAN. — That is not the point. The dog died; and he cost me a hundred dollars. A RARE INSTANCE. BROWN.— That is the wealth- iest man in town, and he made it all by writing poetry. GREEN.— Impossible ! - BROWN.— It’s so. A rich widow sº who doted on poetry became in- fatuated with the stuff he wrote whether he gets his vest all full of Soup or not. THE SECRET. NEWLY - GRADUATED PHYSICIAN. – Doctor, as the field of my labors will be far removed from yours, would you mind telling me the secret of your success 2 OLD PHYSICIAN.—The whole secret of a doctor's success is to know just how long he can keep his patient from getting well without the patient becoming disgusted with his mode of treatment. NEEDLESS ALARM. THE DEACON. — Ah, Fishing on the Sabbath. you are among the Lost. THE WICKED YOUTH (in stºrise).- Lost Not much Why, I know every inch of ground for ten miles around here wicked boy I am afraid Wººll|ºl & Ağ)\sº =ºsuº Yº º ºlº , 2 M º, WN " *: ſºlº |Jºyºtº sº == NWS/ \s ==||'' $/ & ź *: º: -- ~~ 5 s V. VI. TE= - ( millſ ... " - T- -: VII. *\\\\\\\\\ws. and married him. DECIDEDLY CORRECT. TEACHER.— Now, my boy, tell me what animals are best protected by Na- ture from the ravages of Winter My Boy. Those that live on the line of the Equator, sir! KEPT IT QUENCHED. CITY MISSIONARY. — What? Do you mean to say that poverty gave you this thirst for liquor 2 UNFORTUNATE. – Not exactly, Mister. But when I was wealthy I never allowed myself to have a thirst. TELLING HIM THE WORST. HIS UNCLE'S HEIR. — Doctor, tell me the worst. - DOCTOR (ſee/img/y).—Your uncle will get well. PUCK'S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. A STUDENT OF HUMAN NATURE. - MR. Host LEIGH.— But, my dear, you have ordered dinner for only thirty persons, when fifty have ac- cepted our invitation. MRS. HosTLEIGH (with a Zook of Žižy). — Edward, will you never learn ? You know our dining-hall will only hold thirty persons. Well, the twenty who do not manage to get in at the first table will think the fortunate thirty were hogs and ate everything up. º -º TRAPPED AT LAST. RHIME. – I always contended there was a fa- vored ring about these magazine offices, and now I’ve proved it. PROSE. – How 2 RHIME. —Why, for two years I’ve been hawking my 'º, matter around among the different magazines, and º º have never been able to sell a verse of it. Yesterday ". !. I took one of the best things Longfellow ever wrote, “A SUMMER TRIP.” and I could nºt sell //a/. Talk about having a - pull in politics' Why, literature can give it points, and beat it out of sight ! - - % s º º MERELY A SOLICITOR. SLEEK STRANGER. – I am hunting for work, sir. Have you any scrubbing, washing or cleaning of any kind you wish done? MR. MoRRISON ESSEx. – You don't look like a man for that kind of work. SLEEK STRANGER. — I am not, sir. It is for my wife A FAMILY AFFAIR. BRADY. – It's ashamed av yissilf yez should be, to be afther spendin' all th’ money on wan av thim new stoyle coats fer - --- - yissilſ and lave th' childer to suffer from == these cowld March winds. MRS. BRADY.—Wait till yez see us go |H| I am hunting work. to church in th' marnin', Dinnis. AAA - - ECONOMICAL. MUTUAL PRESENCE OF MIND. HHHH. Fºº. How is iſ EDITRESS Woman's Home Queen. — | | || T º 3. º º ..". These jokes are old; I read them when || |t||| | |{{<\ | * * * Hºt" 11nStea 1. t ". ". I was a young girl. - | |: º º , lº * * TW * º Or r ". HUMORIST (an rious/y and Žersuasive/y). 6. sºloº | | E. | º: n T BUT 7 AN —But, surely, that can’t be so very long tº sº º | º § PHYSICAN.— I can’t af- ago I 2 2 - - -- *Tºº" " Å W. ë l ford it. My charges are EDITRESS (with dignity). – However, -- | #5 - = p. "..." ..". I think we can find a place for them. I’ll - º RNSSSºs- . ravely only charges take them. - - - THE BRADY FAMILY en route for church. On 6 CIO ||ar. A CASE OF CONSIDERATION. º TWO VIEWS. HIS SISTER’s SUITOR.— Here, Ralph, is a quarter; now tell me what MRS, HENRY PECK. – Is nºt this terrible? A man in Pennsylvania your sister says about me. - - - sold his wife for fifty dollars - RALPH.- Gimme another quarter, and I won'É tell you what she says HENRY PECK.—Oh, I don't know. Business is business. A man is about you. entitled to get all he can for anything he sells. - - THEIR WAY. MR. BRAGG A. Docio (of Chicago). —Yes, sir; when we people at- HIS FIRST RESTAURANT DINNER. tempt to do anything we roll up our sleeves and pitch in. WAITER.—You ’re not gwine tº forgit de waitah, sah P MR. FULTON (of AVew York). —Yes; I have noticed it; I took dinner SILAS HAYMOW.- Not much. I never forgits a face after I’ve once in your town once. seed it. If yer ever up near Bristol, drop in. I’ll be glad ter see yer. - - PARENTAL WOES. - º | | ** ſº ſ º - # % #fff; % % # º º #|| §ft | % MR. STEINBACH. – He asks me to gif him mein only taughter. Oh, der hard, gruel world ! No, no, Rosenbaum; STEINBACH (with a rush). — Make it terventy und you she gan neffer leaf me ! dakes her. i - y YoUNG ROSENBAUM.– But she need neffer leaf you. Ve - villboardt mit you und bay fifteen tollars a veek — PUCK'S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. THE PATENT A GROWING IMPROVEMENT. FOSTER.— Old Popleigh dresses much bet- ter than he used to. - FELTON.—Yes; his boys are now large enough for him to wear their cast: off clothes. A GOOD PLAN. - FRIEND.— But is nºt that a queer place to have a club — at the railroad station 2 MR. SUBBUBS.— It may seem strange to you ; but as we spend most of our time at the station waiting for trains, we thought it would be a good plan to locate our club here. IT PAYS IN ALL TRADES. - BEGGAR (to HOWELL GI BBON, who / as just donated a dime). — Thank you, sir! Here are a few of my business cards; you might dis- tribute them among your friends. You will find me here every day from nine till six. - - -- A BRIGHT BOY. - KIND OLD GENTLEMAN.—And that is your brother? He appears to be a bright little fellow. BOY (/roud/V).-You bet he is Curse fer th’ gent, Mickey, He kin swear like a car-driver. IRONING BOARD ; OR, FRIGHTENED FRANKY'S REVENGE A FRUITLESS QUEST. COLORED PARTY.-What yo' fishin' fo', boss? FISHERMAN (care/ess/V), – Oh, just for recreation | - COLORED PARTY. – Well, yo' won't kotch none. Dere’s noffin in dat creek 'ceptin' mud- eels an’ suckers. HE HAD CAUSE. YOUNG SNOBBERLY. — Ah, mºlud, I suppose you simply detest the people of this countwy Ż LORD FITZMUD.—Aw-yahs. They mostly all take me for one of those demned Anglomaniacs, - - º º 1. 2.4% N %N// \ , \ º Jºs \ \ GREAT. MRS. HOOKER (as she sees /er daughter coming down ſhe street wiſ/, /erſiancé).— Dolly has made a great catch; has n't she MRS. SAUERS. – Yes; he must weigh as much as three hundred pounds. NOT THE ONLY ONE. MRS. LAFFERTY. – Oi was a big fool to marry yez, so Oi was. was n’t for me ye ’d shtarve to death. MR, LAFFERTY (/aug//i/y).--Don't be so shtuck-up, Mrs. Lafferty. If it Yez need n’t tink dthere air no other fools in dthis wor-r-rld besides yersilſ. THE WRONG END OF THE HORN. - 1 *: Il ſº." | , , || || , it i, THE SiMAN – Say! See me have some fun with his Joblots! THE ELEPHANT.-You'll know when you are well off next time, my - festive friend. “Now, how do you like that ? * . ** ! - - º, <--> | II. , 11" tº Öº º º-> *== º - * Oh, your Uncle Willy is on to “Ah ! That's a new wrinkle, - - is it?” all such tricks as that '' 11, Cºº" sº."T- ' ' ' RNºNWe “The next time you want to mon- key, take some one of your size '' PUCK'S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. A SAD MISTAKE. Wºº s .- º - - - = w T. |||||||||||IIIſ MISS FERNLEAF (showing visitor through conservatory).- Yes; these are our cacti. Papa is so fond of them he spends most of his time among them. - NEARSIGHTED VISITOR. — Beautiful! liarly formed one this is those stickers out 2 And what a pecu- Do you mind me pulling one of FIRED ! MR. O’MALLEY. – Kitty, Oi 'm goin’ to get some foire-insurance an me loife. - MRS. O’MALLEY. — Foire-insurance For th’ love av hivin, phwat for 2 MR. O'MALLEY. – Phwy, so many av th’ min are bein’ discharged down to th’ mill, that Oi want to be prepared whin moi turn comes | WHY THE FEUD. MRS. FLAHERTY (/rol/d/V).--Do yez hear me Mary Ann singing? MRS. DOOLEY. – It’s her voice Oi wish Oi had, Mrs. Flaherty. MRS. FLA HERTY (unsus/ºicious/y).-An' phwat would th’ loikes av you do wid sich a voice, Mrs. Dooley P MRS. DOOLEY. — Oil'd toie a shtone to it and tº row it to th’ bottom av a well ! A HY BRID. UNCLE JAKE. – And what do you think of my bull pup? CITY NIECE. – A bit/ſ pup? Will he have horns when he grows up, Uncle : % w a - ſ ſº º | 2 W ºvº º º º Hi * DANGEROUS PROXIMITY. O'ROUR KE.- This is thim burds av prey as swoops down th' mountains an' carries aff people, as yez read about. MRS. O'ROURKE (in an agony of fright). —Kim away, thin, Dinnis. Suppose wan av thim should break loose. - - - - to ch his h |P ||||||| Vºsºº" º º, N Sº §§ Sº A. | | |%. º º: THE PECULIARLY FORMED ONE (as he feels the pull).- — | * * 2 P “ * * * – ? P THE ONLY CAUSES. MRS, DOBSON.— Bridget told me she saw Mr. and Mrs. Hobson going urch this morning. I wonder what's the matter. MR. DOBSON.—Why, either Mr. Hobson has had another attack of eart trouble, or Mrs. Hobson has a new hat | / º ºf tº | | | ANº ExCUSE. BURG LAR (appearing unexpected/y). — Lookin' ſer any- body, gent 2 MAN OF THE HOUSE (on the warpath).-Ah – why – er— excuse me – yes – no — Why, you see, the fact is, the doctor – er – told me to take exercise with Indian clubs; I–er – must have gotten this pistol by mistake. £ PUCK’S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. SAGACIOUS, BUT WITHOUT JUDGEMENT. ſº & ºś & “Fred is coming to stay over Sunday. I won- der what he 'll think of my new bull-terrier P “I must hurry, or I'll not meet the train.— Oh! Mercy What a horrid-looking man ". . . '...'" . . . . ' ' ' ' , , , . " … 11, twº- {}_ºuill"" “Oh, Dash What should I have done with- out you !" DEMONSTRATED. MCQUERY. — Do you believe in sym- pathetic suffering HENRY PECK.--DO I? You ought to see how I suffer when my wife is out of sorts. A REMEDY. YOUNGWED.--I suf- fer awfully from cold feet at night. - OLDWE D. — Why don’t you do as I do? Make your wife wear woolen slippers to bed. ANNIE HOWE. – to wear next Sunday, when I am going to be confirmed. UNA LLOYD.— It is a perfect dream, dear. can afford a Paris dres ANNIE HOWE. – S - S - h - h ! Smuggled it in for me ! - PopLEIGH (in the last stage of cold and coſ- /apse).- Thank goodness! I have walked this FRED (appearing on the scene). — Darling! Why did you not meet me? What has hap- pened 2 ANGELINA.—A tramp attacked me; but my new dog seized him and drove him off. dear Fred is near. that feller | too ! Swº FRED.—Yes, Angelina; you take him home ahead. I'll follow. We can have a formal introduction when l get there, so he will know me in the future. — | | | | | A MATTER OF DUTY. TRUTH TRIUMPHANT. Just look at my new Paris gown I got it especially - - VISITOR. – Beautiful! Is it an alarm clock? But I don’t see how you WILLY GADDERS. – Yes – S. Don't say a word. My dressmaker he got the bill, you would say it was. ALL HE ASKED. 2 2. * * FRED.— My darling, never fear when your DoG (returning from chase).-Well, I did What, another? I 'll do him, NATURE SUFFICIENT. DENTIST. -- With or without gas With gas, fifty cents extra. MR. HARDACRE. Ef you can’t see in this glaring sunlight, I hain’t goin’ to pay you extry for gas, that 's sartain. A WOMAN'S PRAISE. “How does my hat look P’’ * : Be a utiful! It makes you look twen- ty-five years younger!” MRS. GADDERS. – What do you think of my new onyx clock? MRS. GADDERS.—Willy, Willy How dare you tell such an untruth? WILLY GADDERS. – Well, if you had seen how it alarmed Pop when NYNsssss- BURGLAR (an hour later).-Keep quiet, and PoPLEIGH (as he crawls shiveringly into bed). I won't hurt yer. a half, and he is going to – Now, perhaps, I can get a few hours sleep. POPLEIGH.-Mekeep quiet 2 Here's the key of my safe, and if you keep quiet, I'll swear I'll floor for an hour and sleep, at last. never say a word about this as long as I live. PUCK’S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. THE CHAMELEON'S FATEFUL EXCURSION. mº Allllllllll ARABELLA.—But suppose Papa should come in and see me this way? we hear him coming ! HENRY.— Oh, we can jump away when * º, "unuſuº mutu" 1-i-. Willllllll"illº ºl) ARABELLA Here he comes, now — 1–1 – HENRY W P PPP PPP FEW DIE. OLICITOR LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY. —Here’s an appli- cation that is hardly worth considering. The applicant's father died of heart disease and his mother of consump- tion. His lungs are very much gone. He has palpitation *N of the heart, and shows indications of Bright's Disease. SUPERINTENDENT. What is his business 2 SOLICITOR.— He holds a clerkship for life, or during good behavior, in a federal office at Wash- ington. ºf SUPERINTENDENT. — Why, that 's a gilt-edge risk | He 'll weezye7- die. A SAD CASE. DOBSON.— See that man 2 Well, he 's an artist; but he used to be a professional ball-player. - HOBSON (a base-ſa//ſana/ic, Žižying/V).-Ah! too bad too bad Rum got the better of him, I suppose 2 PHILOSOPHICAL. WALKER (f/e ACTOR, as he arrives just in time to be foo ſafe ſo catch *ear end of the Zast freig// car). - Oh, well, let bygones be bygones | ITIII Li Ti Liii II |TTTTLºlºlººlººliºLl iºnºſºlº | ºº: Tº gº º () () * R \º \ \ WNºs - A CASE FOR GERRY. º º MR. HockSTEIN.— Sol has peen a naughty poy and I'm going to punish him. MRs. Hocks.TEIN.—Vot you do mit him 2 MR. Hocks.T.E IN.—Ivos going to put him on der gounter and make him watch me vile I scharge der next gustomer only six per cent. MRs. Hocks.TEIN (in motherly horror). – Oh, Fadder You vos foo cruel! A FRIGHTFUL ORDEAL. OFFICER.—Look here, young feller, you 've been hangin' round here fer over an hour an' yez actions is suspicious-like. YoUNG MR. POPPER (w/o Aas been a ſaf/er for just fen days).- That’s all right. I’m waiting until there 's no one in the store, so I can go in and buy a nursing bottle. OUTSIDE TASTE ONLY. HER COUSIN FROM BALTIMORE (with Žižy).— I suppose you always expect visitors to Chicago to pay a visit to the Abattoirs? MISS JACKSON PARKE. —Yes; we have become used to their expect- ing to visit those horrible places. The Abattoirs appears to be the first thing strangers desire to see when they arrive in Chicago. MAN, POOR MAN! MRS. JOHN P. COX (irri/ab/y).— Here I 'm dressed and waiting, with a dress on that cost you nearly a hundred dollars and a hat that cost thirty-five I should think you would be anxious to get out and let people see how well your wife is dressed instead of dillydallying around in this way. What are you doing, anyhow 2 MR, COX (/rom 7terſ room, mee/º/y). —One moment, dear. I’m trim- ming my cuffs. - - % % % % % ZZZ % Ø -% % % % Ø- % % - %% % % º % % º yºff ºft % ºft % º ſº % I Ž %. £// % º * | º "|| - y º \!\º - - = Times - A LOST SENSE. MRS. McCoy.— How is yez feelin' this mornin', Mrs. Brady? MRS. BRADY (who has met with an accident). —Wid me feet, mostly, Mrs. McCoy. PUC K. §º cº-º- W º - º º - | " sº ||| - “This is a nice condition for you to be coming home in at one o'clock in the morning ! It has got to be. stopped " MRS. OFTNIP. – These live Chameleon Pins are really horrible, but one might as well be dead as out of style. sººº-º-º: T ſº i | | | | - -- º | º Mrs. OFTNip. What is the matter with the man 2 He looks frightened to death OFTNIP. - M' dear, lesh m' 's/lain — er —wash ºr that – - -". º ſ / / Q ſ \/ \%. | º ". º - Nº. Nº. Sºº º º º * - - - - OFTNIP (with shaking voice).- Here, my dear, is a OFTNIP. – Jingo! That settles * When a man pledge I have signed. I'll never touch another drop as commences to see green lizards, it's time to stop. long as I live! HOVV A FAD VVORKED A REFORM. PACKING THE TRUNK. T ºf Yº - - - - - - - Tºº-TE-ITT " &\}}| |iº * † || WST º º º *\tº Y. º %) "r * tº jº I. “If you will only exert yourself, William, you can get the lid down far enough to lock it.— - E. _2. 9)|= (9 º [Q] 6 || | - Q º l ſº .. 2\ | 4%| - | | - | | - | | - () - =º- t N | | | & S " "Tº | | '''" | | |\º || || s "ll" iiii" |*. - IV. —That is right, Clara. Your hundred and twenty pounds will do III. — My added weight will probably do it. No 2 – it, I’m sure — E 9. غ ETC) G)|= | º |VI - | - , ºr $* * | m –– /4 --- ſº lºſſºs %(º \\ - l §NY \\\ ºil. || || - - 7 s sº 㺠| - u M% | |{{ w º š jº - - N | w - \ W ſº W Nwº - - - - &\,\! {Any NT | | Nº - º º º - Hºrs = | =º/ - iſ a sº all NIT ". ST- Hiſtºlſ' º | || ||' | N | |\ T | || | | ||7 VI V. —That’s it, Edwin. Every little helps Now, all together | – @) = EG) - | | º - - !), º - tº Fºsyº º ill. - Ž 2% *º lº ſ | Fº ~ 2:2-ºx %;\'s - ſ & º - I = "| ----- - | "Nmºlº Fº | | T N. lºſſ | | "" | | | * VIII. — bottom of the trunk. VII. HusBAND AND FATHER (feebly).--Where 's the key * Edwin.<- I saw it in the – A tutor and two college boys, in Afric wilds astray, Search for rare plants and flowers in a rapt, botanic way; Nearer, nearer come the Zulus, till a sound of crunching sand Warns the botanists, who turn and see they're captured by the band. º, sº §º º º/º)\ º G\! Zºº ". - º º º º º Q So lungs inflate and chests expand, two vigorous voices join, As oft on wild Thanksgiving nights they 'woke the Tenderloin. They leave their savage arms behind, nor look to left or right, As 'cross the sands, in dire dismay the scamper in their flight. A HOWLING PUC K. And, investigating specimens of Flora, fail to see Three sneaking, skulking savages, who come up stealthily. º - - º º All hope is gone, there's no escape, they must prepare to die – Then spake one Soph, “at death we'll scoff; let's give our college cry " With “ Rody dow! Rowdy dow. Siss Boom Ah! Hoboken The Zulus start, in wild alarm, their tympanums are broken. It was a class in botany, rejoicing, went its way; – A college cry 's a dreadful thing ; but it did good work that day ! SUCCESS. COMEDIES. || || | / tººlſ ſimilmº - -Tmm. Ilu- nº - (* \ Hº. \\ } w \ N - : ‘. . 7. /ººl, Tºſº/ sº I |W tº a ¥ º /// | T -- | ſº | | | º | WNSR- - A HORRIBLE THREAT. PARSIMONIOUS. BOSTON MOTHER.— Now, Emerson, if you are not a good boy whilst I am perambulating, you shall not prac- O'Rourke (as his host goes to the sideboard for the tice your logarithms and trigonometry this evening, nor brandy).-Oi tould yez he had a harrud toime av it kaping - will you be allowed to read your Browning or your Ibsen oop this stoyle. for a week. LAFFERTY. — Phoy P O'Rouk E. – Look at th' thimble he 's a-goin' to serve th' liquor in NOTHING NEW. CHARLEY FOOTLIGHTS. – Why, Wing ! What are you doing away FOLLOWING IT OUT out here P What 's a-foot now - WRIGHT WING (between his feet/). — Our Entire Company. MRS. NEWRICH.- Don't you see my new vawz, Mrs. Plainspeke P - MRS. PLAINSPEKE. – Yes; and what a beautiful bawz it has - THE USUAL QUIETUS, MOTHER (wishing to hurry maſters). - Mr. Sampson has been com- FROM WHENCE THEY COME. ing here now three years. I should think he would be getting tired of MR. SNARLEY. — Your sex are natural-born scandal-mongers. I often making love to you. wonder how you manage to get hold of all the latest scandals of the day. DAUGHTER.— I guess he is. Last night he asked me to marry him. THE LADIES (in chorus). — Our husbands and brothers bring them o home from the clubs to us. ALL NECESSARY. MR. BROADSTREET. - Here 's a report of the Cricket Match, with two columns of the names of the society people in the grand stand, and A GRAMMATICAL DIFFERENCE. D'AUBER. – I would n’t sell that picture for two thousand dollars. nothing about the game. COBAL.T. - Why don't you use better grammar, D'Auber 2 You mean, HIS WIFE. – That’s about all that people who go to cricket matches “I s/a// not sell that picture for two thousand dollars l’’ care to know. SEEN IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT. -" |, - " º ==_-= - | == º -> * > <- MR. Town Lot.— These theatrical posters Miss Town LOT.- I'm so glad Papa is are something outrageous. I shall have this having this fence torn down. I wonder who – Oh it's our new curate | Good-morn- fence torn down at once. that is coming 2– ing, Mr. Littany. There were two merry acrobats who found with great dismay Their journey blocked by reason of a lion in the way. FROM AN UNPUBLISHED REPORT. ALEXANDER (ſ/he Grea/). — If I were not Alex- ander I would be Diogenes. - DIOGENES. – Confound you ! don’t you know a good thing when you 've struck it? ON SAINT PATRICK’S DAY. FIRST CITIZEN.— This is the great parade of the unemployed. SECOND CITIZEN. – What are you talking about? It’s the Saint Patrick's day parade. FIRST CITIZEN.—Well, most of them are office- holders, and I have never seen an office-holder who had any employment worth speaking of A NATURAL MISTAKE. MR. RAHWAY MEADOWS (/00%ing aſ s^e/e/on of w/a/e). —Wa-al, I'll be consarned I wonder where the skeleton of that mosquito come from ? | | 3.F 7/ / º // | Žs % ſº / % TºNº % º \ - Aft º % 4% w PUCK'S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. THE ACROBATS IN AFRICA. “We have no gun," said Jim ; “let’s run." Said Joe: “Well, I'll be dern Come, Jim, don't squeal, let's make a wheel and do a little turn." He gave one roar, then off he tore, as scared as scared could be. Said Jim and Joe: “How was that show, considering 't was free? " - - | -º-, -\-- uſumutºllſlºw" / C޺ “ -% * . || RNss §§ (` \ º \ - % w \\ N *\\ Sº !º NSW § & ºfºº ãº. "The road was steep; with dash and leap, the wheel came whirling by; The lion jumped, completely stumped, with terror in his eye. TRUTH J.S. FASHION. MRS. DE SEWELL (Zeering /rom Žer carriage). –Oh ! I see Mrs. De Stickler up at her window. (7 o coachman.) James, stop the carriage. I wish to see if Mrs. De Stickler is at home. DISCOURAGING. HIS MOTHER.—What makes you think she wishes to discourage your attentions? THE DEJECTED LOVER.—She told me she was a twin, her mother was a twin, and her grand- mother was a twin. - A CHANGE OF SENTIMENT. MRS. HENRY PECK.— Bah! I only married you because I pitied you when no one else thought anything about you. MR. HENRY PECK (defected/V).-Well, every one pities me now ! !, ,, |- | | || Q º FOREWARNED — FOREARMED. AS ADVERTISED. CASEY (as he looks over the /ence and sees the WIDOW BRANNIGAN beating her carpet). — Be th' Saints above, Oi 'll not ask Mary Ann Brannigan to be me woife, now, to safe me loiſe!. EpstEIN.— Gif me a gouple halluf fare dickets to Goney Islandt. Ticket SELLER.— Do you call yourself children P EpstEIN.— Yes; schildren of Israel? PUCK’S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. VERY MUCH PUT OUT. Cook (to CHAMBERMAID). – I just played a great April Fool joke on the people next door. I looked over the fence and hollered : “Hi, Mrs. Brown | chimney is on fire " MRS. on fire. Your FREDDY'S IDEA. TOMMY. —Don’t you wish you was a boy again, Grand- pa º MR. ELISHA GOW UP. — I suppose I do. But why TOMMY. — Because you would n’t have to have your hair combed or your teeth cleaned. IN CHICAGO. TOURIST.. I would like an excursion ticket to the city limits. TICKET SELLER.— Yes, sir. Will you take a berth in the sleeper, too º- MR. BROWN.-- I'll bet that will put it out. - UNWELCOME ASSISTANCE. ENAMORED YOUTH (w/o has been bidding her good-by for a ha/f /our). - Oh, darling, how can I leave theef - DEEP RED VOICE (from fo/ of Zhe stairs, wit/, /iery sarcasm). — Shall / come down and show you how, young man f A NATURAL MISTAKE. DIN ER. — Look how high that waiter carries his head Does he con- sider himself above his station P - PROPRIETOR.—No ; but his nose is above that piece of Limburger he is carrying to that Milwaukee brewer over there in the corner. * | (, | º º | - o º -*. |''|''ll º * \ Fº º º W" |\RY % ſ"""" º y º "...º.º.º., ſºlº) º)| 2. º º º º º yº - - *Nº. FAMILY FRIEND.— It must be a great pleasure to a mother to feel her baby's first teeth. BRowN (excitedly). — Oh, Henry The cook next door says that our chimney is Run up on the roof right away, and pour a bucket of water down it ! . - A DIFFERENCE. - MR. B.Row N (dubiously).-Now, which is our chimney, I wonder. Ah, this must be it, by the amount of smoke coming out ! NOT HIS FAULT. PARENT (trembling with emotion).-You are auda- cious ! — you are heartless She is my only child ! SUITOR (wis/ºing ſo fa- ci/y). — But, my dear sir, you — er — can’t blame ºne for that. A GLOW ING EXAMPLE. PROFESSOR (earamining c/ass in //, ysics). — The pressure of bodies at rest is called Force. Give an ex- ample, Jones. JONES (an observant scho/. ar).-The Police Force. Th’ Cook.-Th' Saints protect us! flood has come ! A BETTER LAND. TRAMP (re/roving/y). — Ah, Lady In the part of the country I just came from the women did n’t ask us to saw a cord of wood for our dinner. LADY OF THE HOUSE. – Did n’t, heh Where did you come from ? . TRAM.P.-The natural-gas regions. A TENDER-HEARTED HUSBAND. HUSBAND.— I think I'll go out for a little walk, my dear. WIFE (wrath/u//y).— I don't see how you can stand there and see your wife struggling with a fire that simply won’t burn. HUSBAND.— I can’t, my dear; that is the reason I am going out. i ºn º *- - sº ) | } & !, Q. ($ s ! º º - K - sº - N Sº, "W §§ & §§ Š §§ THE MOTHER (as the baby closes down).- Yes; but it is not always the same pleasure to others. FORCED BRIBERY. JUDGE.-You admit that you bribed the witness, as the other side charge P LAWYER.—Yes, your Honor; but – JUDGE (severely).- What? PUCK'S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. !. ' ' ' *º || Kºº §º i\, | º | * |Tºº A MODEL WANTED. TOM GINN. – I wish you to paint for me a picture of a dollar note, to place on my bar. D'AUBER.—Will you pay me in advance? TOM GINN (indignantly). — Sir, I am good enough for a hundred times what you will charge me. LA WYER.— I bribed him to tell the truth. He was D'AUBER.— I know that, sir. Would you mind furnish- going to lie for the other side. ing the model, then P A GENTLE HINT. NOT TO BLAME. TOM PUFFER (as he THE BOOMER'S STORY OF FERTILITY. FOOTLIGHTS. — Our b/ows out a ring of smoke).-Ah! is n’t that company produced your play last night. a perfect silver ring 2 GRACE INNIT (with ſee/ing, as she fuſs her ſinger // rough it). — O … --. George ' How nice it º would be if it were only - gold ! A GOOD TIME. FLITTERLY (ſo wife, who has just refºrmed º from meeting of sewing ', ''A. circ/e).-Well, did you º find anything to talk tº about? MRS. FLITTERLY. — Lots | Not half the mem- bers were there. º º | - |||||| l I Wºr : ''," | l', ', º, 'Mir, , , spot and stuck in our peg. | || ſºm, ''''', I , , , , “Well, yer see, we struck a fertile-lookin' SCRIBBLER (in ecsta- sy). — Did the audience call for the author? FOOTLIGHTS. – Yes. They knew we were not to blame. OF USE. POET (timid/y).—Ah – er—were you able to use that poem I left yes- terday 2 EDITOR. – Yes — POET. - Oh, kind sir! Thanks. EDITOR.—Yes; it just stopped up that stove- pipe hole tip-top. “Then Mother built a fire and pre- pared to get us somethin' to eat; but, on lookin' in our waggin, we found we only had six grains o' corn. - , , , , Wółºśo *(\ºl º º º º º # º º (3. tº "l Williſ | || || | ſº || || || | M ||| |\ | | | || -- "| | -- 'ſ | | t- º/ . . 37 ſº ºn 1 - º MWººl º ºf . "I " ..." Fº ſ"|"ſi III "Iſ SS |Wºn: ||||||| º “Then Mother, she commenced to wail and weep about us starvin' to death. I took th' six grains of corn and threw them on th’ ground in despair and disgust. “I'd hardly turned my back when I seed Mother lookin' as if her two eyes would pop outen her head. I looked around, and what do you think I saw? Why, them six grains of corn had took root and sprung up everlastin' big stalks, “And that night we made our supper on the finest ears of corn you ever put into your mouth, And I'm now here to sell half that - quarter-section for one thousand dollars.” (The Drummer has an hour to spare before train time. AN EXCHANGE. MULFORD.—Your family are staying at a farm- house for the Summer, I believe. Does it cost you much HULINGS. No. You see I’m in the butter and egg and farm produce business, and the farmer takes their board out in trade. VANITY, VANITY MR. WOOLERTON. – Yes, sah ; mah wife's vanity done got me put in de jail wunst. MR. YALLER By. How come dat? MR. Woo LERTON.—Well, yo' see, I'se done borrowed ºr fowl outen Colonel Gunnerton’s hen- house one night, an’ mah wife 'sisted on wearing de wing fedders in huh bonnet. Dé Colonel knew de wings, an' had me jugged fer stealin’ de fowl. PUCK'S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. A DOUBTFUL CONVENIENCE. SC -º- _* % - WYNsº THE ARTIST'S DEVICE. He goes to the theatre. His adventures.) HIS DISPOSITION. | WIFE (sweeſ/y).-And what shall I get my dearie for a Christmas present this year? HUSBAND (grim/ſ). - Oh, some small, cheap trifle ! -- - WIFE. – Oh You are awfully modest, are nºt you ? - - HUSBAND.— No. Awfully poor A CURE FOR IT. FRIEND. – One of your clerks tells me you raised his salary and told him to get married, under penalty of discharge. BUSINESS MAN. – Yes; I do that to all my clerks when they get old enough to marry. I don’t want any of your independent, conceited men around my place. Mr. Raphael Scumble here we see. He is painting from Nature a date-palm tree; * Damn !" roars the lion, who really supposes That the picture a part of the landscape composes, When a lion, he had n't noticed before, Comes bounding along with a terrible roar. He places the picture – with presence of mind– Against the date-palm tree, and hides behind. - * . --- *\sº . And Raphael, watching the beast depart, Cries out: “I was right to put trust in Art; “And as Nature seems somewhat too lively here, I think I will actually disappear.” A FAMILY DISCORD OR, HOW TOMMY PLAYED THE PIANO AND THE OLD MAN. | - == E. = - s > | º H zºg - - ºſ- | || º | | | º: - - º - ºš : * III. - - ºzºss-ºs- - ºº: VII. FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE PUCK'S DOMESTIC IGNORANT. STRANGER.— Why do you make the letters so large, Uncle? MR. LIPPER.— Well, boss, de res' dents roun' here air pow'ful ignerint, an' I fought I'd make de letters so big dat de smallest chile could read um. A TELL-TALE ODOR. FATHER.—Well, has your young man gone? DAUGHTER. – Yes; and I have come to kiss you good-night, Papa. FATHER (after receiving the Æiss). — Nelly, tell your young man to use some other kind of brillantine on his moustache. I hate the Smell of Ylang Ylang ! IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN. MRS. Harry Sharpe is worth two million dollars. to think I refused to marry him once. HENRY PECKHAM (wiſ/, a dark brown sig/). —Ah, yes | Some people have all the good luck. PECKHAM. – This paper says that Just HOBSON'S CHOICE. IMMATURE YOUTH (getting his ſirst s/tave). —Shave down, please. BARBER.—Yes; that’s all there is to shave. 4% % % % º Mrs. Dooley (‘opposite neighbor), -An' this COMEDIES. SNssºs ( GUM ARABIC. MR. MIDWEIGH.— Gosh A'mighty, Doctor I don't want my teeth pulled out; I want 'em wedged in tighter. DR. For SEPPS.– Wedged in P You don't mean to say they are all loosened 2 How did it happen? MR, MIDw EIGH.—Wa-al, you need n't say nothin' to the folks – tryin' to learn Arabic, so 's ter talk with them A SAD SHRINKAGE. |-> $. n w £: º º N º N Ó% \ % N N MRs. BRANNIGAN.—A moighty foine turk it is fer Dinnis to win at th' raffle. O 'll hang it out here and let it get gamey by th’ T’anks- givin'. T - | %NT \\\\\\\\ ºf NY) \\ * º N º N mockin' burd is all we hov, wid six in th’ family MRs. Dooley. — An’ Brannigan win thot at th' raffle, did he 7 Well, easy come, easy go, as th’ sayin' is dancin' gals down in Cairo Street. A SLAVISH JOB. STOREKEEPER.—You say you are willing to work. Now I want a man to lie in that patent bed all day and show the people how comfortable it is. I’ll pay you a dollar a day and your meals. WEARY WILKINS,-- Do I have der meals fetched to me? STOREKEEPER.— No. You can get them around the corner. - WEARY WILKINS (walking off in disgust). —An' have ter git up an' walk around dere tree times a day ? Not much De oppressors of hones’ labor has got ter be downed. A DANGEROUS MOTTO. MISS BLEECKER.— Do you know 2 Mary Havisham has married that Charley Goslin after having broken her engagement to him three dif- ferent times | MISS HOUSTON.—She evidently believes in “Well Shaken before taken l’” \\ Mrs. BRANNIGAN (the next morning). — Fer th’ love av hivin! Who’d have belayed that th’ rain would shrink a turk so, over noight! PUCK’S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. AN ADVANTAGE OF MODERN SCIENCE. A few years ago courſing couples were obliged to turn down a kerosene lamp to secure the proper degree of obscurity. º PLEASING THE CHILD. MRS. CODDLE. – Charley, do you want to make our little Robert very happy this Christmas? MR. CODDLE.— Why, certainly, my dear ! MRs. CODDLE. – Well, just let him have twenty-five dollars to buy me that lovely pin he wishes to give me for a Christmas present KIND. HE (//anning an eſo/e/en/). — And at twelve you sneak quietly out of the house and meet me at the corner. I won’t have a carriage, as we must be as economical as possible. SHE. – Oh, I’ve made Papa promise to pay for the carriage, George TOO SEVERE A TEST. BROTHER BOB. — For Heaven's sake ' Nan, what are you doing with my foot-ball suit on 3 SISTER NAN.— It is bargain day down to Lacy's, and I 'm going to wear this down. BROTHER BOB (erciſed/V), – No, you ’re not You go and take it off. That’s a brand-new suit, and I’m not going to I want to use it myself next Fall. have it torn all to pieces. = <== sº-ºs- => → == RNSW, - NATURAL ADVANTAGES. And this necessfazed a wiſ'ſ scramble when approaching footsteps were heard. li Nºsº º - Nº | *RNSNSºx ANNIE ( pressing button of the electric light). —Why, no; Papa! You can see for yourself. No, you ’re not But now it is something like this: MALE VOICE (ſootsteps coming downstairs). – Annie, are you and that young man sitting there in total darkness P SOMETHING BETTER. MISTRESS. – Babetta, when I was driving in the Park the other day, I saw a nurse allow a police- man to kiss a child. I hope you never allow such a thing. BABETTA – Non, Madame; no polizeman would think of keesing ze child ven I was zere. NOT SO IN HIS CASE. TEMPERANCE ADVOCATE. — My friend, rum destroys the brain and clouds the intellect. THE BIBULOUS ONE. – Not mine it don’t, gent. It all goes to my legs. RUBBING IT IN. - SAD-EYED PARTY. — Say, boss, will ye give me a few cents towards gettin' me wife in an Old Ladies' Home? THE SOLICITED ONE (dubiously). — Why don't your wife come herself? SAD-EYED PARTY (angriſy). — Oh, that 's just the way with you people ! When you give charity you want to humble people as much as you can. You don't expect a woman to come in here and stand up and acknowledge she's old enough to go in an Old Ladies' Home, do you ? - | | || | | | || TišīII RNss COUNTRY JOYS. FARMER's SON.—Say, my grandfather died in this 'ere bed! CITY BOARDER.— Lord ' I don't wonder. It 's enough to kill ten grandfathers SAM LEE (taking his diº).-Chinaman alle samee much smartlan Melican man | Chinaman no need life- pleserver. - PUCK'S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. º ºº § º º " º | º % : | () % . § º º | | § } | | fi w # 'º'ſ/ º / º RNSWRs OUESTIONABLE FAME. MR. RosBBERRY. — Dis yere Chris'pher Kerlummus must 'r CAUSE FOR THANKSG|WING. been 'r pow'ful smart sort ºr chap. MR. BRADY (surveying the scanty repast). — T is dev'lish little MR. DEwsON (contemptuously). — Smart / Ef he'd comed over dinner we hov to be t'ankful fer this day, Nora ! . yere an' discovered Philadelphy or even 'r place as big as Hoboken, MRs. BRADY. – Whist, Moike | Yez do be ſergettin' that we yo' maght talk; but when it comes to findin' such ºr monst'ous piece should be tankful there do be no more here to ate it! ob de yearth as dis yere country, why – er–huh ! — why he could n’t hev helped findin' it ef he'd 'r tried. - A NEW METHOD. A BAD OUT LOOK FOR A CHICKEN DINNER. DEACON WATson.— Doan' yo' tink it crule ter keep dat dog chained MAN-AFRAID - OF - THE - SOAP (as member of Army Bicycle Corps dashes by). — Much lazy soger. Walk sit- up all de time? FARMER SMITHERs.- Oh, I let him loose at night! tin' down; – Ugh ! TOO TRUE. MISSIONARY. — My poor man, don't you know that strong drink is a mocker * PARCHED PERKINS (/ooking with long- ing and sorrow/u/g/ance at Že window). — You ’re jes' right, lady; you ’re jes' right ! Them 'ere lickers just mock me every time I looks inter the windy; an' I hain’t gotter cent in th’ world. PUCK'S DOMESTIC COMEDIES. PARENTAL DISCIPLINE. USELESS TO HIM. MR. RENNEY SANCE. —Now, where would you prefer the drawing-room * MR. STRUKILE – Look here, young man; I 've let you put up a smokin'-room, when I don't smoke; a music-room, when I could n’t play a mouth-organ; a nursery, when I ain’t got no nurse; and a pantry, when I don’t pant; but I'm goin' to draw the line at a drawing-room, when I could nºt even draw a straight line. A SOURCE OF WEALTH. FUNNYMAN (//e Zaragra//er). – Oh, here comes Hardy Upton Let 's go down this side street so we will not meet him. He owes me five dollars and has money to-day, and I’m afraid he 'll pay me. BROMLEY. — Afraid of him paying you ! Are you crazy? FUNNYMAN. – No ; his excuses for not paying me are so funny that I can sell every one of them to the comic papers for a dollar each. I’m fifteen dollars.ahead of the game already. TRICKS IN ALL TRADES. CUSTOMER.— I would like you to repair this watch. Now, I don't want you to tell me the whole mechanism is out of order and it will take two weeks to repair it, and cost half what the watch is worth. You can’t fool me ! I know a trick or two WATCHMAKER (meekly). — H'm You are a watchmaker, I presume? CUSTOMER. – No ; a doctor. HE WANTED A REST. MRS. POPLEIGH.- Henry, are you crazy P. Take that mask off. You are frightening baby so bad he'll not go near you ! MR. POPLEIGH (com//acently). — That’s why I put it on. THE EMERGENCY PROVIDED FOR. JENNIE. – But you can't support a wife on twelve dollars a week, George. GEORGE. – True, darling; but our firm always raises its men to twelve dollars and a half when they get married. A NEW LABOR-SAVING DEVICE. No TROUPLE | ‘. . To • . . . . . SHOW GOODS| || @ . tº milmſ Tºº "". - RNSWes. CHARLEY GRosG RAIN (as he ////s the strings).- This is our entire stock, Madam. MRs. SHOPPIN. – I would like to see your dress goods, please! A JERSEY TRAGEDY; OR, A PUCK's DOMESTIC COMEDIES - LIFE-PRESERVER THAT FAILED. º º/\ºvº. Mºuntſ|| iſſ ºx: #Tº … - |T --Tº- º "Di: * S A NATURAL SEQUENCE, A MONOTONOUS JOB. PASTOR.— Well, how do you like your job, Patrick P NEW ORGAN PUMPER. —Not much, sor Faith, it’s all work and no play ! ſº º UNGLOVED. AUNT.-Why, Clara ! How do you manage to get one hand so much more sunburned than the other 2 CLARA.—That is the hand on which I wear my engagement ring. IV. OUT OF THE QUESTION. MRS. INNIT (severe/y). — Grace, I heard Mr. Sampson kiss you last night as he left. You should never allow a man to kiss you until he is engaged to you. GRACE INNIT (in sur/ºrise). – Why, Mother | What can you be thinking off You don’t suppose I would do anything so unladylike as to engage myself to Mr. Sampson when I am already engaged to Mr. Tompkins ! MAKING A COMPLETE JOB. O'GUFF. – Oid loike yez to half-sole an' heel thim shoes. COBBLER (examining the artic/es). — They 'll not stand it. uppers are all worn out. - O'GUFF.— Oh, phwell' The Put new uppers on thim, too ! PHRENOLOGIST. -—You have been married some years. PATIENT (in sur/rise). – By George ' That's so. How could you tell? PHRENOLOGIST.-Your bump of Hope is a dent. Miſſ - |TFIII]." - // ALWAYS UNLUCKY. MRS. LOSER.— I hope you never play cards for money MR. LOSER (with a groan). – No, darling; //e7/e7 7 INSOLVENT. OPPENHEIMER.— Max, ven you pay dot visit vot you owe me? BROKESTEIN. — Sº hellup me gracious, have nºt you heard dot news, Levi ? OPPEN HEIMER.— Vot news? BROKESTEIN.— I faildt yesterday undt gant pay noddings. - GETTING RID OF AN ANNOYANCE. FRAYED FAGIN.— Lady, will you kindly give me a little Rough-on- Rats on a small piece of bread? MRS, HUMSTED (in aſarm). - Laws, man you want to commit suicide, be ye? FRAYED FAGIN.— No, lady; but there 's bin a mouse in the linin’ of my coat for more ºn a week, an' I want to get rid of it. You ain’t so low that ||| | |||||| 3 9015 - - -