ARTES
1817
SCIENTIA
LIBRARY
VERITAS
OF THE
1
UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN
PLURIOUS UNUM
TUEBOR
SI-QUÆRIS-PENINSULAM·AMCERAMI
CIRCUMSPICE
ADANANAQANADAIN ANANDIN
:
BJ
1561
D22
1732
Darrell, Wind
THE
Gentleman Inftructed,
IN THE
CONDUCT
h
OF A
VIRTUOUS and HAPPY
LIFE.
In THREE PARTS.
Written for the INSTRUCTION of a
YOUNG NOBLEMAN.
To which is added,
A WORD to the LADIES,
By Way of SUPPLEMENT to the
FIRST PART.
The TENTH EDITION.
LONDON:
Printed by W. BURTON, for the Executrix of
E. SMITH; and Sold by W. PARKER, at the
King's-Head, in St. Paul's Church-Yard.
MD CCX XXII.
t
To the RIGHT HONOURABLE
EDWARD,
Lord Viſcount Cornbury, &c.
AND
Baron CLIFTON of Leighton-
Bromfwould;
SON and HEIR-APPARENT of
EDWARD Earl of Clarendon,&c.
I
My LORD,
Formerly prefented Your Lordship w
with
the First Volume of this Book, and
for the fame Reaſon I now preſent
it again entire in all its Parts to You, be-
cauſe it was made for You, I mean, for
Gentlemen of Your Noble Character; and
becauſe, I believe, the perufal of it will
both profit and delight You: But more
efpecially, My Lord, I make You a Pre-
Sent of it, to give Your Lordship an Af-
furance of the unfeigned Defires I have,
A 2
that
The DEDICATION.
that You should be Good, as well as
Great, and to testify thereby to the World,
the great Reſpect I have for your Noble
Family, of which Your Lordship cannot
fail to be the great Ornament, as well as
the Glory of Your Country, if you take
this Book for Tour Companion, and Eu-
febius, the Noble Author of it, for your
Guide.
My Lord, I had the Honour to be
long acquainted with my Lord Your Grand-
father, and I had the Happiness and Blef-
fing to be bred up in the Family of Lour
Great Grandfather of immortal Memory,
I mean, in the most famous University of
Oxford, to which, after a long Night of
Ignorance, in Times which his incompara-
ble Pen hath defcribed, he reftored true
Learning and Difcipline, to the great Be-
nefit of the Church and Kingdom, and go-
verned it, all the Time he was Chancellor
of it, with the Care, Affection and Au-
thority of a Father; and, My Lord, I ve-
rily believe, that of those, who were then
Students in the Univerfity, there is not a
Man of any Rank or Profeffion now liv-
ing,
R.L
に
​The DEDICATION.
ing, who doth not reverence his Memory,
and wish all Happiness to his Noble Fa-
mily, and particularly to Your Lordship,
who bear his Name, and who, we all hope,
will follow his great Example, and that of
another in every Refpect as Great, and
Good, I mean the Example of Your He-
roick other Great Grandfather, my Lord
CAPEL, of most Venerable and Immor-
tal Memory.
To that End, My Lord, this Book, now
compleated by the Author, comes to wait
upon You in the Fifth Edition; which I
mention to Your Lordship, to let
you un-
derftand, that it must be a Book of more
than common Value, which in fo Critical
an Age hath made its Way fo often in its
Several Parts through the World without
any other Teftimony, or Commendation,
but that of its own intrinfick Worth.
Wherefore, My Lord, I do not defire
You to read it over, for that would be a
Disparagement to it, and all the Parts of
it; I only defire Tour Lordship to tafte it,
to read as fmall a part of it as You please,
and then to forbear reading the whole Col-
A 3
lection,
The DEDICATION.
1
lection, if you can. I dare fay, My Lord,
when You have begun, You will no more be
able not to go through the whole, than if
You were to read the beft Dramatick Com-
poſure that ever was made, You could give
off at the Firſt A&t, and not proceed to the
End of the Fifth. It is not without Reaſon,
My Lord, that I liken this Book to a
Play, for indeed it is a fort of Drama,
written in Dialogue, without Numbers, in
which feveral Perfons under feigned Names
exprefs feveral Humours, and, as it were,
a&t ſeveral Parts; and as in a true Play,
in which the Poet defigns to profit, as much
as to please, and to couch a Noble Moral in
the Plot, this bright and ferious Dramatiſt
in Profe, the Wife Eufebius, whofe Piety in
his Book is equal to his Wit, defigns through
the whole of it to render Virtue amiable and
venerable, and moft becoming the Profeffion
and Practice of Gentlemen, and to reprefent
Vice in its natural Features, as hateful and
ridiculous, and most dishonourable and re-
proachful to Gentlemen of all Ranks, de-
fcribing all along the Vanities and Follies
and Madness of the World, and diſcover-
ing
The DEDICATION.
ing the finful Arts and Snares and Temp-
tations of it in fuch a delightful and con-
vincing manner, that it must be ſaid of
every one, who can turn Apoftate from
Virtue, after reading this most excellent
Volume, that his Destruction is of himſelf.
My Lord, it is now fome Time fince
Your Lordship entered on the Stage of
the World, and give me leave to say a-
gain, that the Eyes of God, and all good
Men will be upon You, to obferve how
You will act Your Part, and whether You'll
follow the Inftructions which the Honoura-
ble Eufebius gives in the firft Part to
Neander, and in the reft to Theomachus;
or whether forgetting the Honour both of
Your natural and Spiritual Birth, and the
facred Obligations of Tour Baptifmal Vow,
You will let Your ſelf be carried off by the
great Number of Atheiſts, Deifts, Indif-
ferents, and Debauchees among us, whoſe
vile Manners and Converfation he de-
fcribes in this golden Book. My Lord, in
Such an Age as this, You must prepare
Your Soul against the Temp-Ecclefiafti-
tations of theſe Men, from cus ii. 1.
A 4
which,
The DEDICATION.
which, by the Grace of God, You have
hitherto preferved, and I truft, will al-
ways preferve Your Self, though they will
be fure to use all their Arts, particularly
that most dangerous one of Flattery, to fe-
duce Tou, and to affail Your Virtue with
all their Force and Skill. But God, if
You feek His Affiftance, and Your own
Chriftian Courage and Refolution, will fe-
cure Your Lordship from them; and that
You may live to be a bright, heroick and
fteady Example of Chriftian Piety, in a
most wicked and degenerate Age, shall be
the conftant and moft hearty Prayer, Mỳ
Lord, of
Your Lordship's
Moft Obedient Servant,
GEO. HICKES.
L
THE
PUBLISHER
TO THE
GENTRY.
GENTLEMEN,
PR
ROVIDENCE having put the fol-
lowing Dialogues into my Hands, I take
the Boldneſs to offer them to the View of
the Publick under your Protection. They were
only intended by the Author for the private In-
truction of a young Nobleman, on whom they
have wrought fuch admirable Effects, that it's
Pity, methinks, to bury them in Privacy, and
to confine them to one Clofet. The Author's
Deſign is charitable, I am fure; but whether he
has been happy in Execution, I wholly leave to
your Judgments. He runs through the Duty of
a Gentleman, and of a Chriftian; he points at the
ſhorteſt Way to Greatness and Goodness, and fur-
niſhes you with Materials to live with Honour in
this World, and in Glory in the next.
Seeing
The Publiſher to the GENTRY.
Seeing therefore this Treatife comes on fo
kind an Errand, it will, I prefume, meet with
a civil Reception; for Meffengers of good News
are feldom unwelcome.
But nothing has embolden'd me fo much to
caft theſe Pages at your Feet, as fincere Tender-
nefs for your Perfons. It's Wiſdom to have an
Antidote at Hand, when we fufpect Poifon; and
dangerous to viſit a Peſt-houſe without a Prefer-
vative. Alas, Gentlemen, you fuck in Poiſon,
you live in Infection; Wealth, Grandeur, and
Example plot your Ruin, and Flattery difguifes
the Danger; lewd Books are of the Cabal, they
dart Poiſon to the Heart through the Avenues
of the Eyes, and convey Death through Plea-
fure.
In St. Peter's Days the Devil made his Round
to pray on the unwary, but now he has almoſt
eafed himſelf of that Labour; he acts no more
in Perfon, but by Deputy; he has commiffion'd
Poets to rhime you into Deftruction, and fees Li-
bertines to argue you into Hell; and certainly
he has had greater Succeſs againſt Mankind, un-
der the Shape of an Author, than of a Lyon;
your Cloſets are ftock'd with defaming Lam-
poons, lewd Plays, and fcandalous Poems; you
read theſe hellish Papers with Pleaſure and
Tranfport; they foften Nature, emafculate the
Mind, and by Degrees metamorphofe the Rea-
der into as errant a Beaft as the Poet; the Style
charms, the Expreffion is luſcious, and the Con-
trivance no leſs inviting than the Subject. All
theſe petty Artifices confpire to enflame Senſe,
to enliven Paffion, and debauch the Will.
Again, to whet Appetite, and increaſe Defire,
Care is taken to fet off Ladies with all the Allure-
ments
The Publifher to the GENTRY.
ments of Eafinefs and Condefcendency; they are
diſcarded not only of Modefty, but of Shame;
fo that, if the Originals refemble the Copies, if
the Sex be as ill prepared for Defence at Home,
as on the Stage, the Conqueft will be made with-
out the Expence of Artillery or Bombs.
But this is not enough; the Poets take upon
'em the Office of Engineers too; they trace out
the Approaches, point the Cannon, order the At-
tack, and then cry, Gentlemen, fall on: For why
do they expoſe not only to the Eyes in the Play-
Houſe, but in Print, paft Brutalities, but to per-
fuade you to act them over again? And why do
they enter upon Particulars, but to fhew you the
Method? They ranfack Mulberry Gardens, Ep-
fom-Wells, and other publick Scenes of Debau-
chery, for the Subject of your Entertainment;
their Plots and Counter-plots are only laid to
trepan Women, and gull Heireffes; befides, few
licentious Intrigues mifcarry. This is a fly Innu-
endo to the Audience and the Reader, that Suc-
cefs will certainly wait upon their Attempts, and
by confequence 'tis a ſtrong Provcation to enter
upon Action.
And becauſe Nature has ftamp'd on the Face
of Vice, Deformity and Horror, theſe ungrate-
ful Features are ſhaded with charming Appella-
tions; the Sins lie out of fight under a Varniſh,
and nothing appears but the Pleaſure. For this
Reafon the moft overt Invitations to Evil muft
be chriften'd, Billets deux; Lewdness must be
ftiled Gallantry, and the Stews Places of Diverfi
Why are innocent Names put on criminal
Things, but to confound Notions; but to gild
over Difhonefty, as Apothecaries do Pills, that it
may go down without any Checks or Convulfi-
pns of Confcience?
Seeing
The Publiſher to the GENTRY.
Seeing you thus clofely befieged on all Sides,
and standing on the Brink of Deftruction; and,
what is worſe, void of Fear; nay, lulled into a
mortal Lethargy, without any Apprehenſion of
your Danger, I have brought thefe Dialogues to
your Reſcue, and may affure you with fome
Confidence, they'll prove moſt uſeful, and high-
ly beneficial, if you will vouchfafe to perufe 'em
with unprejudiced Minds, and unbiaſs'd Affec-
tions.
They lay before your Eyes the moſt impor-
tant Parts of your Duty, both to God and Men;
the Snares of the World, and Wiles of the Devil;
the Cauſes of your Miſcarriage, and fure Me-
thods either to prevent or retrieve them. And
what can you defire more, but a fincere Refoluti-
on to apply theſe Remedies that are defcrib'd?
I am fenfible we live in an Age devoted to Cen-
fure and Criticiſm, and therefore I have thought
fit to obviate an Objection or two: Some may
think the Author treats Quality with too much
Freedom, and Nobility with too little Refpect:
But, Gentlemen, pray remember, there is a great
Difference between your Perfons and your Vices;
thefe be Honours, not thoſe.
It were ridiculous to compliment Criminals,
or to reverence Felons on the Hurdle; your
your Fai-
Jures are brought upon the Scaffold, not for Tri-
umph, but for Execution; to receive Puniſh-
ment, not Applaufe; what Wonder then if he
handles roughly thofe Faults he condemns? If
he tears off the Vizors that conceal a' loathfome
Deformity under a falfe but tempting Superfi-
cies? He has a mind to diſcountenance Ill, to
withdraw you from the Embraces of theſe trea-
cherous Syrens, that enchant your Reaſon, and
capti-
1
The Publisher to the GENTRY.
captivate your Affections in order to murder
your Souls; that offer you imaginary Pleaſures
to reward your Credulity with real Torments.
This is certainly a charitable Defign, but withal
impracticable, unleſs each Vice be haled to the
Bar, and all their Treafons, Forgeries, and Im-
poftures be brought to Light, and proved upon
them as clear as the Day.
For, Gentlemen, give me leave to ſpeak free-
ly, you love Vice under the Mask of Pleaſure,
almoſt to Dotage; nothing can wean your Affec-
tions from its bewitching Charms, but a Demon-
ſtration that you are moft wretchedly impofed
upon.
Others may perchance take it ill that the Au-
thor fports fometimes upon too ferious a Sub-
ject, and by confequence tranfgreffes the Rules
of Decency.
7
But you muſt confider we live in an Age that
ranks Seriouſneſs among the Vices, and Raillery
among the Virtues. Alas, Gentlemen, the ſpor-
tive Faculty takes place of the reajonable; Rifibile
and Rationale have 'chang'd Places fince Arifto-
tle's Days; the Propriety has ftep'd into the De-
finition of Man, and banifh'd his moft effential
Ingredient among the Accidents: Reaſon, with-
out Force, is out of Faſhion; it muſt appear in
a Scaramouch's Drefs to obtain an Audience, and
muft bring Delight as well as Inftruction to be
welcome.
The Author condefcends to your Weakneſs,
and furely you will not cenfure his Civility, nor
burlefque his Judgment, for paying Deference
to your Quality; befides, he is fenfible, Vice has
been laugh'd into Practice and Reputation, and
Virtue into Contempt: Why therefore may not
Virtue
The Publifher to the GENTRY.
Virtue regain its Poft by the fame Method it
loft it? And why may not the Gentry be fported
into their Duty, as they have been rallied out of
it? Some Poifons call for Treacle, others for
Fire; but that of the Tarantula muft be fetch'd
out by Mufick. A Peal of Laughter enervates
the Force of this Neapolitan Venom, and a Brace
of Minutes expel it. Who knows but your Di-
ftemper is of the fame Nature? At leaft, defpe-
rate Diſeaſes are proper for Experiments; and
tho' no Remedy fucceeds, it's a Satisfaction to
have applied all.
if
In fine, I fling this Treatife at your Feet, and
you will be pleafed to perufe it with Leifure
and Reflection, it may not only furniſh you
with Inftruction, but with Pleafure; not fuch in-
deed as courts Senfe, and gratifies the beaftial
Part, but fuch as is proportioned to the fu-
pream and leading Faculty; fuch as feaſt a Soul,
and regales an Intelligence.
Your most humble Servant,
I. Y. D.
THE
THE
PREFACE
G
IV E me Leave, dear Reader, to usher in
the following Conferences with a Character
of the Author. He is dead, and by confe-
quence out of the Reach of Vanity; and as the Ře-
gularity of his Life gives no hold to Satyr, fo the
Excellency of his Virtues raife him above Flattery.
Many Reaſons perfuade me to conceal his Name,
but more to publish his rare Merits.
Example bas strange Attractives; the Way to
Virtue by Precepts, as the Philofopher notes, is long,
but by Example, ſhort and eaſy; like the Laconick
Dialect, it expreffes much in a little, and drives Ar-
guments more home than Logick or Rhetorick.
Seeing therefore, Gentlemen have continually before
their Eyes fo many Statues of Vice in all Poftures,
it's time to prefent them with one of Virtue, that
they may be convinc'd, Piety is within their Reach,
as well as within their Obligation; and that they
may live within the Circle of their Duty, without
Stepping out of the World, or debarring themfelves
the Freedom of Society and Converſation.
And, indeed, the Life of this Gentleman is a plain
and ſtanding Evidence, that Men transform Palaces
into Places of Debauchery, not Palaces Men into
Debau
The PREFACE.
Debauchees; and that Courts would be innocent, if
Courtiers could refolve to remain fo.
Eufebius was of a Family as antient as the Con-
queft, and what is particular, in all the civil Wars
and Revolutions of State, his Anceſtors were ſo hap-
py, as to stand by their Prince in ſpight of Faction
and Interest; nor could they ever be prevailed upon
to part with their Loyalty for any Profpect of Pre-
ferment; they choſe rather to fall in the Defence of
Justice, than to triumph with profperous Ufurpers.
Eufebius had the good Fortune to be born of a
Mother, whofe Wisdom vied with her Piety, and
both indeed were extraordinary: She trained him up
from the Cradle in the Duties of a Chriſtian, and,
I may Jay, he both loved God, and feared him, fo
foon as he was able to frame a right Notion of his Per-
fection; and theſe firſt Impreſſions funk ſo deep, that
neither Age nor Employments were able to wear them
off.
He was fent to the Univerſity under the Conduct of
a prudent Governour, who endeavoured, by Precept
and Example, to improve in him thofe Seeds of Vir-
tue, his Mother had fowed fo early. He applied
himſelf to Philofophy with Eagerness and Appetite,
and made a Progress answerable to his piercing Wit
and affiduous Application; yet he always look'd on
Learning as the Acceffory, and Piety as the Prin-
cipal; that, be faid, was a meer Embellishment,
this an indifpenfible Duty: So that in Reality, this
was his Buſineſs, that his Diversion.
Yet he was none of thofe Plodders, who seem to
disband from Company, and to forfwear Converfati-
on, who place Virtue in Sournefs, and confound
Piety with Spleen: No, he was free, eafy, and
chearful, and never refused to partake of thofe Sports
that recreate the Mind, and eafe the Body, without
Prejudice
The PREFACE.
Prejudice to Confcience. To pawn Innocence for
Pleaſure, faid he, is to over-rate the one, and to
undervalue the other: To laugh whilft we fin,
is, in fome fort, to renew the barbarous Cruelty
of Nero, who play'd while Rome burn'd; or the
fooliſh Temerity of the Indian Philofopher, who
fung on the Funeral Pile.
Indeed, fuch an unuſual Conduct was gazed at, in
a Place where Youth gives more time to the Practice
of Epicurus's Morals, than to the Study of Arifto-
tle's Philofophy; or where at least Learning is more
a-la-mode than Piety; but this Admiration foon
pass'd into Efteem, and he who at first was look'd on
as a Montter, in Procefs of time was filed an Angel.
He left the University to visit the Camp, and
made feveral Campaigns under N. N. Neither In-
tereft nor Ambition called him into the Field; the
only Aim of his Refolution was to learn the Myfte-
ries of War, that he might be one Day in a Capacity
to Jerve his Prince with Honour, and his Country
with Success.
Piety feldom follows an Army; Soldiers feem to
leave Confcience in their Winter-Quarters, as well
as Religion, that they may fin without Check, and be
damned without Apprehenfion. Eufebius difappro-
ved this ill Husbandry. Our Care, faid he,
muft rife with the Danger, and feeing we are
not affured of an Hour, it's Madnefs to neglect
our Soul one Moment. I fuppofe, continued be
to a Friend, when we put on a red Coat, we put
not off Chriſtianity, nor receive a Commiffion
from God to live at Pleaſure, when we enter in-
to the Service of our Prince: No, no, let us die
like Men, but live like Chriſtians, this is the on-
ly way to leave an honourable Memory in this
World, and to find a glorious Reception in the
next
[a]
His
The PREFACE.
A
His Life in the Camp was anfwerable to his Prin-
ciples; he pray'd half an Hour on his Knees Morning
and Evening, and never omitted to be prefent at
publick Prayers, when he was not on Duty; be
would never fuffer either prophane or obscene Dif
courfe: For, faid he, it's hard to hear without
Sin thofe Things that cannot be ſpoke without
Offence; to permit Crimes is to abet them.
When he could not excufe an Officer's Fault, he al-
ways leffen'd it, and ſpoke ill of no Body but him-
felf. He compar'd Detractors to your Italian Bra-
voes, who attack People behind, and ftab Bodies at
unawares, whilft thofe kill a Man's Reputation.
One Day an Officer told him, War called for
Courage, not Vertue; that Refolution carried
the Day, not Conſcience.
That is, replied he, Ambition challenges the
Time of War, Diverfion the Time of Peace,
and Sin every Moment of your Life; but then
who will claim the Moment of your Death?
God. Alas, Sir, you'll neither have the Time
nor the Thought to difpofe of it fo advantage-
ouſly, as you live in Sin, fo in all Probability
you'll die in it. You are miſtaken, Sir, Sin en-
ervates the Mind, not Piety; and could we read
the Thoughts of our Soldiers, we fhould find
too little Confcience drove more of them out.
of the Field at the Battle of N. than too much.
A Man must be either an Atheist, or mad, to
front Danger in Sin.
Eufebius proved beyond Demonftration that Vir-
tue is no Enemy to Valour; he breathed nothing but
Sieges, Battles, and Expeditions; he went to Com-
bats with as compofed a Countenance, as others
march to Triumphs; and, like Hannibal, was the
firſt in the Field, and the last out of it; he generally
ask'd
The PREFACE.
'ask'd the moſt dangerous Poft, and fought Perils, as
if he had a mind to fall, yet he always came off with
Safety and Applaufe; Providence feemed to have
made him Proof againſt Ball and Sword, and his
Virtue arm'd him against Fear.
Being challenged once to a Duel, he anfwer'd cold-
ly, Sir, though I fear not your Sword, I trem-
ble at my Maker's Anger; I dare venture my
Life in a good Caufe, but cannot hazard my
Soul in a bad one. I'll charge up to the Can-
non's Mouth, but want Courage to ftorm Hell.
And when a Friend told him, he must either fight,
or forfeit bis Honour: You are miſtaken, replied
Eufebius, I'll gain Honour by my Difgrace, and
fhew the World I am no Coward, by daring
Cenfure and Obloquy. He is couragious and
brave, who ftands up for Confcience against the
falfe but prevailing Maxims of Cuſtom and Opi-
nion; not he who betrays his Duty, and dreads
more an imaginary Imputation than a real Crime.
Eufebius returned from the Army with Glory, and
brought off his Piety in Triumph; he was received
by his Mafter with open Arms, and advanc'd to an
honourable Poft; be labour'd for his Benefactor's In-
tereſt, not his own; and uſed to ſay, The Prince
ſhould always carry off the Profit, and the Sub-
ject the Glory of doing well.
He could not endure to purchafe Attendants with
fair Promifes, and then to reward their Expectation
with Disappointment; his Intentions were as fincere
as his Words, and he never promifed a Favour, but
be defigned it; he could not endure to tantalize Pre-
tendants with gay Hopes, and in the End difmifs
them with an airy Complement. This is, faid he,
to ſpend their Time, and drain their Purfe with
infignificant Waiting, to tempt their Patience,
[az]
and
The PRE FACE.
and in the End to draw them to be your Ene-
mies.
Eufebius found at last, that Innocence is not a-
bove the reach of Envy, and that in Courts Virtue
is often punished, and Vice rewarded. A Club of
Courtiers caballed against him, and perfuaded the
Prince to difcard him. He bore this Difgrace with
an Evenness of Temper, that furprized his Enemies,
and, like the Sun in an Eclipfe, all gazed on him
with Admiration. Though he was overpowered, be
could not be overcome. He looked brighter under a
Cloud, than in the full Meridian of his Grandeur,
and all concluded he was no lefs in Misfortune, than
he had been in the highest Splendor of Glory.
A Friend tempted him to strike in with a Faction
against his Prince; but he receiv'd the Propofition
with Indignation and Horror. No, faid he, I had
rather be wretched without a Fault, than great
with a Crime: Duty called me to my Mafter's
Service, not Intereft; and I'll rather pawn my
Life, than forfeit my Loyalty; my high Pre-
tenfions lie in the other World, not in this; my
Prince raiſed me to a confiderable Fortune, now
he thinks fit to diſcharge me, I'll thank him for
the Favour, and not repine at his Juftice. I ac-
cepted the Station at his Command with Grati-
tude, and I quit it with Refignation.
He was received again into Favour; yet this un-
expected Turn wrought no Alteration in his Humour ;
he roſe with the fame Unconcernedness he fell; he was
above the Charms of Profperity, and Proof against
the Stroke of Adverfity; neither good Fortune fuft
him up, nor bad deprefs'd him; he never thought of
revenging thoſe Affronts he had received from his Ri-
vals, but uſed his Power with Moderation, and re-
turned Civility for Unkindness.
He
The PREFACE.
He retired at the Revolution from Bufinefs, and
gave himself wholly to the Practice of Virtue; he was
advanc'd in Years, and refolv'd to devote the remain-
der of his Days to Eternity. I may die foon, faid
be, but cannot live long; it's Prudence therefore
to manage every Moment as the laſt, becauſe it
may be fo. He difcharged his Debts immediately,
faying, This was too preffing and too important a
Bufinefs to be trufted to an Hour's Integrity,
that many fuffer in the next World for a Suc-
ceffor's Neglect in this.
One that liv'd fo well, could not die ill; for every
Man's Death is a Copy of his Life, and exactly re-
fembles the Original. In his laft Sickneſs he fhewed
all the Bravery of a Soldier, and all the Piety of a
Chriftian; he bore the Dolours of his Distemper not
only with Patience, but Tranſport, and look'd Death
in the Face with the fame Undauntedness he often be-
held the Enemy in Battle. Sir, faid he to his Ne-
phew Standing, remember you are born to the
fame Fate, you may read your Deſtiny in mine;
you will once be in the fame Circumftances you
fee me; you know not when you muſt take the
laft Farewel of Life; Death ſteals upon us like a
Thief, and ftrikes without Noife, without Warn-
ing. Seeing therefore you are never fecure, be
always prepar'd, leave nothing to Chance or Ha-
zard; a Surprize is poffible, and, what is worfe,
irreparable. Never pretend to fhew your Wit
by difputing Principles, nor think you own your
Reafon molt, when you leaſt own your Faith;
this is to place Wit in Folly, and Reaſon in Im-
piety. Practice Virtue, this is your only Buſi.
nefs, it will make you content in this World,
and open a fair Proſpect of Felicity to the next.
His
The PREFACE.
His Words feem'd tipt with Fire, they pierced the
Hearts of all that were prefent, and warmed their
Affections; whilſt all mourned, he alone was joyful.
In fine, recommending his Soul to the Mercy of his
Redeemer, he gently expired, leaving behind a Pat-
tern for Gentlemen's Imitation. Thus died Eufebius,
a Scholar, Soldier, and Courtier, and in all theje
States a Saint.
be
Let Gentlemen learn by this Example, they may
Great and Good; and that they may discharge them-
felves with Glory of all the Offices of Society, without
betraying the Duty of a Chriſtian.
THE
THE
CONTENTS.
Aith confuted by Practice p.3
Virtue may be practiſed in
Towns as well as in Deferts 5
The Part of a Gentleman
Not to boast of Family
7
The Caf: of the Penitent Thief
38
Miftakes about Religion 39,40
It confifis not in mere Nga-
tives
41
A Gentlenian's true Bufin fs
Against Detraction
Nor Performances
9
To avoid Oaths and Curfes 10
46, 47
How to Spend Time
13
Whether Gentlemen are
obliged
Reading recommended
ibid.
to practiſe Virtue
42
Not to be Covetous, nor Pro-
And Ladies; the fame
56
fufe
17
Off Recreations
Of Duties to Neighbours
6%
18
Univerfal Love
ibid.
Gaming
19
63
Cloathing
21
Falfe Notions of Honour
Of Duelling
22
23
24
25
75
77
27
29
81
30, 32
Of the Play-Houfe
Of inftructing Children and
Servants
84, 87
Sz
32
The Character of Beaus
Duties of a Chriftian
Heaven and Hell, why defcribed
in Scripture
True Virtue, what
Of Refignation and Submission
to God
God the best Friend to Men 31
His Ubiquity
35
Of Debauchees
Goa's Grace, and Man's Co-
operation, necessary to pro-
duce Repentance.
35
Of the Sources of Detraction,
viz. Pride and Envy 71, 72
Of Theft, Injustice, and Op-
preffion
Of Reftitution
Of Lewdness and Fornication 19
Prefervatives ageinft Lewdnejs
Of Charity, and its Meafure
88
Chriftian Behaviour out of
Fashion
The Character of an Atheiſt 92
The SUPPLEMENT.
I Ives of Chriftians contradic
tory to their Faith 115
The worth and use of Time 115
Ladies Employment in the Morn-
ing and Evening 117, 118
With their Business at Church
420
S9
Cards, become a Calling 121
Inftances of brave Women 125
Bad Education,the Caufe of La-
dies Mifdemeanour 127
Remedies adviſed the Ladies
Or, The Obftacles of Virtue
removed
132
Pofitive
The CONTENTS.
1
PofitiveDuties recommended144
Etice
157
Humility
Modefty
148
153
Rules for Ladies daily Pra-
The Duty of a Mother
The Duties of a Soldier
The Duties of a Courtier 199
163.
173
W
One Religion only saving
Proofs of a Deity.
412
The SECOND PART.
"Hether any real Atheiſts
249
336
1ft Proof, from the univerfal
Confent of Mankind
Notion of God, not merely from
Education
Nor from State-Policy
Polytheism
From what Cauſes
The Caufes of Error
356
365
369
373
375
377
2d Proof, Of a Deity from the
Creation of the World
393
3d Proof, from the Characters of
Wiſdom, viſible in the Frame
and Conftitution of the
World
406
4th Proof, From Invention of
Arts and Sciences
5th Proof, That the World was
not Eternal
418
429
6ih Proof
Atheists Exceptions against the
World's Creation confuted 435
The End, Ufe, and Defign of the
Smallest vileft Creatures, as
Fleas, Lice, Toads, &c. 441
7th Proof, viz. The palpable
Abfurdities which follow from
the Belief or Suppofition of no
God
The THIRD PART.
Young Gentlemen diffuaded
from a Town Life
Should fhun ill Examples 473,
The Mifchief of Plays 480
Town-Sparks
474, 482
Ladies in Hyde Park
Vocal Musick cenfured
A Country Gentleman
446
469
Of Reftitution
Eufebius's Behaviour to Neigh-
530
484
tours
Exceffive Drinking
533
536
485
A drunken Crew
Eufebius s_Recreations
How to take the Death of a be-
537
539
486
loved Relation
541
489
Of Phyficians, and their Me-
thods
542
490
Of Travelling
544
Rules for Travellers
55.3
497
Of the Soul's Immortality 556
505
in the
ibid.
The Soul is Immaterial 571
Man compared with Beafts 574
Difference of Men from Beafts
Advice to Parents to fettle Chil-
dren in time
How to manage an Estate 493
A Dun, deſcribed
Of Dice
Eufebius's Conduct
Houfe
Reflections on Lawyers 512,518
Good Rules for Lawyers 547
577
THE
( 1 )
THE
Gentleman Inftructed, &c.
་
DIALOGUE I
Neander, a young Gentleman, defires Eufebius to inftruct
him in the Duty of a Gentleman.
Eufebius.
W
ELCOME, dear Neander;
what fair Wind has blown me
the Favour of fo early a Vifit ?
This is extraordinary.
Neander. Pray, why fo? my Buſineſs has been up
and abroad thefe two Hours; is it not high time to
follow it?
Euf. Ah! but our Town-Sparks have fomething of
the Owl, they rife at Night, and lie down in the Morn-
ing: They obferve a moft exact Symmetry in Diſorder,
and like Lobsters go backwards; in a word, they turn
Nature topfie-turvie, or read it backwards: It's genteel
and modiſh to out-fleep the Sun, and an Argument of
Peafantry to do like other Men.
Nean. I have left the College too lately to be ac-
quainted with the Cuſtoms of the Town: I have not o-
pen'd the Ceremonial, nor perufed the Ritual alamode;
yet methinks, to turn Night into Day is an odd Meta-
morphofis: Nature, fure, never intended Eyes for Dark-
nefs: Gloeworms indeed are obliged to Night, it fets 'em
off, and makes their faint Luftre ſparkle with more Eclat.
But why Men ſhould dote on Shades, and range in Ob-
fcurity, I can't divine, unless they long to duel with
Pofts, and try a Rubber at Loggerheads; in fhort, it's a
battiſh Humour, and jars with my Conſtitution.
B
Euseb.
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Eufeb. For all that, you muſt take up with Night, and
be reconcil'd to Darkneſs, if you intend to ftand fair with
our own Town-Sparks; they are of the Family of Maga-
ra, true Sons of Night and Erebus. Light ſtrikes too hard
on their Eyes, it dazles 'em like Opium: It even works on
the Brain and ftupifies; but then, towards the Evening
they return to themſelves, and adjourn to the Tavern, and
from thence fally out upon the Watch, and manfully ftorm
Glafs-windows. In fine, their Buſineſs and Reaſon fleep
in the Day, and rife when wife Men go to Bed.
Now I fuppofe you intend to enter into the Confraterni-
ty, you'll not want moft kind Invitations: Theſe Blades lie
on the Catch; and place Centinels on Oxford Road to give
Notice when a Prize draws near; that is, when a Gen-
tleman leaves the College; and then they fly to the inno-
cent Youth like Eagles to the Quarry; they proffer their
Service, admire his Parts, compliment him into Snares,
wheedle him into Debauchery, empty his Pockets, wound
his Soul, and ftab his Reputation; and when they have
martyr'd his Innocence, and imbezzl'd his Eſtate, kick
him out of their Company, and fo exit the young 'Squire.
Nean. A Man, I fee, muft carry his Wits about him
at London; he muſt ſtand on his Guard to prevent a Sur-
prize, and fufpect Friends, not to be over-reach'd by
Enemies: Like the Lion he muſt fleep with his Eyes open:
Well, a Danger forefeen is half avoided. Eufebius, I
have been diforder'd fince my Arrival, and thought laſt
Night more Hours, than I flept Minutes.
•
Eufeb. What! are you fmitten fo foon? Some Female
Beauty has, I fuppofe, ftorm'd your Heart, and Good-
nature has beat the Chamade. The Articles are, no doubt,
drawn up and figned, unleſs perchance you refolve to fur-
render at Diſcretion: But, in good earneſt, has Liberty
given you a Surfeit? Has Freedom gall'd you? Will you
try how neatly you can dance in Fetters, and caper in
Trammels? This is a Sample of Univerfity Breeding;
your Collegians are a pack of aukward Animals, full of
Wit, but without Judgment to manage it; one would
think they ſtudied not to grow wife, but Fools; to loſe
their Reaſon, or to forget the Ufe of it. They no fooner
enter into the World, but, like Children, they chace every
Butterfly, and run on the Spur to their Ruin. Ah, dear
Neander! take Care; a precipitate Choice makes way
for
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
3
for a long Repentance; ftifle the firſt Sparks of Love,
time will quickly fan them into a Flame; a green Wound
is eafily healed, but a feftered one ends in a Gangrene.
Nean, Under Favour, you run riot on a falfe Conjec-
ture. I am not Heart-fick, but Town-fick.
Eufeb. Town-fick! this is, without peradventure, an
outlandish Diftemper; there is not one Recipe for it in
our London Difpenfatory: However, the Difeafe is not
dangerous, for I find no mention of it in our Weekly Bills
of Mortality. In what Mould, for God's Sake, were
you caft? furely you are of fome more refined, more Ce-
leftial Temper than other Gentlemen, without Senfe,
without Paffion; in fine, all Angel, all Seraphin.
Nean. Not fo neither.
Eufeb. What then?
Nean. Why, Sir;. I am a Man, fubject to all the Infir
mities of human Nature; but I would not willingly fur-
render my Reaſon, nor quit the Privilege of Nature; I
would not throw up my Claim to Heaven for any earthly
Pretenfion; in fine, I have no Inclination to go to Grafs
with Nebuchodonozor, nor to lie in the fame Bed with
Brutes: I am a Man by Nature, and a Chriftian by Grace,
and would neither debar my Reafon, nor throw a Scandal
upon my Profeffion: In a word, I'll fave my Soul.
Eufeb. Neander, let me embrace thee; I was juſt
lighting a Candle (as Diogenes did at Athens) to find a
Man in London. I thought Piety had taken leave of out
Nation, and that Chriftianity had flown over to the Con-
tinent; but, God be thank'd, we have left among us one
Man, and one Chriftian; fo that the whole Species is nor
extinct. We live in a mad World, without Method,
without Order; we feem to play at crofs Questions: Vir-
tue and Vice have changed Places, and almoft Names,
and even Wit is confounded with Folly; Reafon confifts
no more in the Ufe, but in the Abufe of it. Gentlemen
debauch themfelves into Credit, and draw Fame from
Impiety; the whole Bufinefs of Chriftians lies in confut-
ing their Belief by their Practice: Thefe monftrous Ir-
regularities have, more than once, moved me to fufpect,
that the moſt wife and thinking Part of Mankind is coop'd
up in Bedlam, whilft Mad-men and Fools range about
the Town in Coaches.
B 2
This
4
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
This Man whines away at a Strumpet's Feet his Eftate,
his Health, and his Soul too; another drowns his Reafon
in Claret and Canary; he plays the Brute all the Week,
and rifes a Man on Sunday Morning; a third delivers him-
felf up to his Palate, and condemns his Wit to drudge for
his Gluttony; he judges. of Meats by the Price, not by
the Tafte; and thofe only regale his Appetite that drain
his Purfe; his Study is to provoke Hunger, not to lay it,
and ſeldom rifes from the Table till a Surfeit forces him
to call for a Bafon.
A fourth has perchance received the Lye, and in a Huff
bauls out for Satisfaction, i. e. a Stab; the Stage is pre-
pared, and up the Hectors jump with drawn Swords, like
the Roman Slaves, to give Diverfion to the Spectators:
If this be not Folly and Madneſs without Mask or Dif-
guiſe, pray give me their Definition; it's hard to deter-
mine whether this Conduct be a fitter Object for Hera-
clitus's Tears, or Democritus's Laughter; it's a Compound
of Farce and Tragedy, but a Vein of Folly runs through-
out the whole Maís.
Religion keeps pace with our Reafon,and is juſt regard-
ed as much. Methinks our Worſhip ſmells fomething of Pa-
ganiſm, for we adore God, as the Heathens did Hercules,
with Showers of Stones and Brickbats, viz. of Oaths
and Blafphemies; this is the only Homage we think fit to
pay our Maker; and indeed it is a kind of Recognizance,
and is fo far commendable, as it puts us in mind there is
fuch a thing to believe in, and to pray to, as well as to
fwear by. Now, why we fhould be ſo ſparing of our
Prayers is a hard Queftion.
Some may perchance imagine the Pofture of a Suppli-
ant is below an English Courage; befides, it's an uneafy
Figure, and argues much Want or great Covetoufnefs,
two heavy Imputations for a Gentleman; moreover,
Kneeling is a Mark of Subjection and Bafenefs; for Í
was once told, that a Yeoman on his Legs was taller and
greater than a Prince on his Knees: This is a rough
Draught of our Town Wit and Religion, without one
Dafh of Satyr, or Hyperbole; they are both at a low
Ebb, and God knows when the Tide will turn. Neander,
ſtand on your Guard, and look to your Confcience, as
well as to your Purfe; for I affure you, the one is in leſs
Danger than the other; unleſs you carry a watchful Eye
over
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
5
over your Thoughts and Actions, you will fall into Snares.
that are laid to entrap Innocence.
Nean. However, furely God has not tied up our Duty
to Impoffibilities; he tells us, his Yoke is eafy, and his
Burden light; and then affures us, by the Mouth of his
Apoſtle, that our Power is always cqual at leaft to the
Temptation; we may therefore diſcharge our ſelves of all
the Offices of Life and Converfation, without over-look-
ing the Duty of a Chriftian; for certainly God never
framed our Tongue for Silence, nor our 'Reaſon for So-
litude; we may handle them both right, as well as wrong,
and employ them to a good ufe, no leſs than to an ill
one. I hope there is no Neceffity of failing into Egypt,
and of taking up in the Wilderneſs of Thebais; nor of
running into a Convent, or of receiving Holy Orders at
Rome; for though thefe good Fathers may walk pretty
fecurely to Heaven, yet I underſtand they make the Voy-
age alone: Now I feel no Charms in Celibacy, and be-
fides, they are by Law diffeized not only of their Birth-
right, but even of the Benefit of the Clergy; fo that they
can claim no Liberty but that of the Prifon, no Property
but the Gallows. I have no Inclination to fling up my
Eſtate, and as little to lay it at the Mercy of greedy Fa-
vourites; nor to fly to Heaven by the way of Tyburn: I
would not withdraw from Society, nor forfwear Compa-
ny, nor, like old Timon, disband from my own Species.
Eufeb. You have Reafon; God condemns us not as
Pharaoh, to the Drudgery of making Bricks without fur-
nishing us with Materials; he proportions his Grace to
our Wants, and never commands us to fight on unequal
Terms; the Advantage lies on our fide, and if we give
our Adverſary the higher Ground, our Defeat muft lie at
our own Door; we may be overcome, but can't be over-
powered; our Cowardife gives Temptation the Day,
not our Weakneſs.
Befides, Virtue is not confin'd to Place or Condition ;
it may be practifed in Towns as well as in Defarts;
and no leſs by Courtiers than Peaſants; nay, it fhines,
methinks, in a Palace, like the Sun in the Meridian,
with Pomp and Majefty; for what can even Fancy paint
more charming and more glorious than Grandees, nei-
ther abject in Adverfity, nor infolent in Proſperity; than
Courtiers peaceable in the Noife of Affairs, temperate in
B 3
the
6
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
the midſt of Excefs, unchangeable in Viciffitudes, and
conftant in all the Turns of Fortune; untainted with
Lufts, compoſed in Tumults, and ſmiling at all thoſe
things, that are either expected or feared by others; than
Men who have the Power to do what they will, and the
Will to do nothing but what is juſt and reaſonable? This
is no Platonic but a Chriftian Virtue; it is not only found
in Fiction and Romance, but has been commended to
Practice; it has appeared more than once on our Horizon,
fupported by Dignity, and waited on by all the Magnifi-
cence of Power and Royalty: You may therefore hold
your Eftate, without flinging up your Title to Heaven.
Nean. Indeed, had Providence cut off my Claim to
Heaven, when it intrufted me with a Lordship, I ſhould
have been no Gainer by the Bleſſing; notwithſtanding
though Virtue be in my Power, if Vice be in my Will,
I fhall, without Queftion, be miferable: Let me there-
fore defire you to favour me with fome Rules, by
which I may fhape my Courfe; you have ftemm'd the
Tides of Youth, and beat back Temptation with Cou-
rage and Succefs; thofe Waves that have pafs'd by you,
rufh on me; fo that the Danger is certain, my Eſcape
doubtful. Ifling myfelf into your Arms. I have at leaſt
learned the firſt Leſſon of Prudence, viz. to ſubmit to
the Advice of thoſe whom Age and Experience have ſuf-
ficiently inftructed,
Eufeb. My Age is on its Declenfion, yet I am not,
God be thanked, afhamed to live, or afraid to die: I
neither contemn Life, nor over-value it; and therefore
expect my quietus eft with Patience, and will welcome
my Difcharge. I have withdrawn from the Hurry and
Tumult of worldly Affairs, and now lead a retired, but
not an ignoble Life: I gave my laft Farewel to the Court,
not by Force, but Choice; and indeed, it deferves no
Thought but of Contempt. I have tafted of bad Fortune,
and of good; but never placed my Happineſs in the one,
or my Mifery in the other; nor have I entred into the
World like a Mute, meerly to fill the Stage: No, I
once made no contemptible Figure by my Prince's Bene-
volence, and tho' in the Confufion of the Government,
I fell from my Poft, I carried off my Honefty in Triumph,
and expofed my Eſtate to fecure my Loyalty; yet, God
be prais'd, I am not brought to the Basket; though I
had
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
7
had rather live on Charity than Rapine, and wou'd foon-
er earn my Bread by the Sweat of my Brow, than of my
Conſcience. In my Retirement, I have had occafion to
ſtudy Things, and to reflect on Men, and have made Ob-
fervations on both, fo that I am not quite unprovided of
thofe Qualities the Office you impofe upon me requires:
I'll therefore take the Liberty to counſel you as a Friend,
not as a Maſter; let us retire into my Cloſet.
DIALOGUE II.
Eufebius inftructs Neander in the Duty of a Christian,
Eufeb.
You
OU must act two Parts; of a Gentleman,
and of a Chriſtian: We'll diſcourſe of the
latter at our next meeting, and at prefent only touch the
former. Some Gentlemen keep up to their Character
without the advantageous Helps of Precepts, or Educa-
tion; you may read their Birth on their Faces; their
Gate and Mein tell their Quality; they both charm and
awe, and at the fame Time demand Love and Reverence;
their Extraction glitters under all Diſguiſes; it ſparkles
in Sack-cloth, and breaks through all the Clouds of Po-
verty and Misfortune; there is a je ne fçay quoy in their
whole Demeanour, that tears off the Vizor, and difco-
vers Nobility though it fculk incognito; they are refer-
ved without Pride, and familiar without Meanneſs; they
time their Behaviour to Circumftances, and know
when to ſtand on Tip-toe, and when to ftoop: In fine,
their moſt trivial Actions are great, and their Diſcourſe
is noble.
Others feem to be born Gentlemen to fhame Quality;
one would ſwear Nature intended to frame 'em for the
Dray, and Chance flung 'em into the World with an
Escutcheon: They are all of a Piece, Clown without, and
Coxcomb within; and fo like Foplingtons are graced
with Titles to play the Ape by Patent: Thoſe of the
first Class need no Precepts, and thofe of the fecond de-
ferve none; however, Counſel may be uſeful to others;
for Behaviour is acquired like other Arts, by Study and
Application.
B 4
I. To
8
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
I.
To begin the Part of a Gentleman, perfuade your
felf, it's your Duty and Intereft to act it well; for
whoever looks upon it as a Matter of fmall Con-
cern, will come off with Dif-eſteem; he will follow the
Bent of Nature, and fwim down the Stream of Inclina-
tion, rather than ftrive against it; for who will baulk Hu-
mour, or fence againſt ill Cuſtoms for nothing? This I
take to be the Reaſon, why ſo many in Converſation fall
below their Station; they fancy a Title fupported with
Means, places them in a Region above the Niceties of
Breeding; that a Sir gilds the moſt unbefeeming Beha-
viour, and a Coronet dignifres Rufticity; but this is a mi-
ftake; for as Gentlemen ftand above the Crowd, fo they
lie more open to View and Cenfure: For Actions are not
rated by Men, but Men by Actions; and if theſe fmell
of the Clown, or fute with the Peafant, Right Worſhip-
ful muſt be content with thofe Titles; for the Mob
knows well enough, that Gentlemen can claim no Reſpect
from Nature; they are all of the fame Matter, and the
Soul of a Lazarus is of as refined a Metal as that of
Dives; and therefore, if they fee no Advantage on Qua-
lity's fide, but a Coach and Six; they will be apt to think
themfelves as good Men as their Mafters, though not fo
rich; and that they are beholden more to Chance or In-
juftice for their Fortune, than to Merit.
II.
Let not your Family be the Subject of your Difcourfe,
nor fling the Registers of your Genealogy on the Table
before all Company; this Topick is both fulfom and
ungenteel; it's a fhrewd Argument you are big of Con-
ceit, and more obliged to your Anceſtors for your Blood,
than for your Wit; though your great Grandfather rode
Admiral at Sea with 2000l. per Annum, if he has left Po-
ſterity no other Mark of his Greatneſs, but his Vices,
I fhall rank him among the moft wretched Creatures.
that ever breathed; ſeeing the Height of his Station only
raiſed him above the Vulgar to proclaim his Shame, and
render his Infamy more perfpicuous; it is a Madneſs to
take the Meaſure of our Deferts by the parts of our
Forefathers; their perfonal Worth adds not one Hairs-
f
breadth
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed,
9
breadth to our Stature: We may enter upon their Eſtates,
and perchance upon their Titles, but not upon their Vir-
tues; theſe are neither entailed on the Family, nor alie-
nable by any Deed of Conveyance.
Befides, whoever rakes in the Aſhes of the dead, may
fall upon the Stench inſtead of Perfumes; for after En-
quiry, who knows but you may find the Source of your
Nobility tainted with Treafon, and that the very Title
you bear is the price of Difloyalty? Now though accord-
ing to the Proverb, Thofe Children are happy whofe Parents
are in Hell; yet certainly, a Son fhould not boaſt of the
Purchaſe, nor look big becauſe his Father is miferable: Let
your Anceſtors therefore fleep in their Graves, and be not
fo fooliſh as to diſturb them by your Vanity; adopt their
Virtues by Imitation and Practice, but have a care of their
Vices. I honour Nobility fet off with Merit, but when
he has no other Prop than Money and Patent, I always
compare it to thofe proud Temples of Egypt, that under
gilt Frontifpieces, and azur'd Vaults, lodged nothing but
Statues of Rats and Crocodiles. I value more an innocent
Plowman, than a vicious Prince; and prefer his Nobility
who has built a great Fortune upon Worth and Virtue,
before his who by Succeffion receives one.
III.
As it is ungenteel to boaſt of our Family, fo it is no
leſs mean and childiſh to ſpend Rhetorick on our Perfor-
mances. If your Prince and Country honour you
with a high Employment, either in the Camp or the
Bench, diſcharge your felf of the Truft with Reputation:
deferve Panegyrick, but play not the Orator your felf;
though you are as eloquent as Tully, you'll only labour
to ſpoil a good Subject, and whilſt you vainly fet off
your own Feats, you'll meet with nothing but Shame
and Infamy. N. N. was an excellent Soldier, he feared
nothing but Fear; he chofe always the Van, and was of
ten the firſt Man on the Breach; all admir'd his Cou-
rage, and prais'd it; and even thoſe who diſapproved his
Conduct, did Juftice to his Valour; but this Gentleman
loft at Table the Glory he had won in the Field, and
talking away in his Winter Quarters the Honour he had
purchaſed the whole Campaign. I did this, faid he, at
the Siege of R, and this at the Battle of **; had I not
feized
10
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
feized on fuch a Poft at **, the Army had been in Dan-
ger. One would have thought all the Generals and Sol-
diers had been in Garrifon, and that N. N. with his fmall
Brigade alone, defeated the Deſigns of the French. This
overgrown Vanity coft him dear; for inftead of gaining
the Reputation of a General, he went off with that of a
Fop, and all concluded he was too ambitious of Praiſe to
deferve any. Your deep Rivers move with a filent Ma-
jefty, fhallow Brooks alone make a Noife and Tumult a-
mong Pebbles. The great Marfhal de Turenne never ſpoke
of himſelf, but when forc'd, and even then, with Modefty;
and though the King was wholly indebted to the wife
Conduct of this gallant Man for many Victories, yet he
never faid fo: No, he wou'd lay Mifcarriages at his own.
Door, and Succefs at that of his Officers and Soldiers
this made him appear great even in his Overthrow, and
generally his Moderation was more glorious to him than
Victory. Imitate the Silence of this Hero, not the noiſy
Impertinence of Fools; carry off the Satisfaction of great
Actions, and let others go with the Honour of praiſing
'em, and let People rather learn your Atchievements at
the Stationers, than at your Table,
IV.
Avoid the modifh Rant of Oaths and Imprecations:
It's an ungenteel Dialect, as well as unchriftian, and
claſhes both with the Rules of Breeding, and of the Go-
fpel. Cuſtom indeed has made 'em faſhionable, but
neither civil nor lawful; for Vice can never plead Pre-
ſcription. I know it lies under the Protection of Num-
ber and Quality; but ill things have no right to Sanctu
ary: Becauſe Vermin fwarm, muſt they be permitted to
encreaſe? Shall the Number of Felons plead for Pardon?
No, no, the Cuſtomarineſs of ill things makes 'em worſe;
and the more they muſt be diſcountenanced, and taught
Difcipline. In a Word, whatever jars with Religion,
and cuts upon good Breeding, is below a Gentleman:
And therefore in Spight of Example and Practice, I muſt
caution you againſt fome Parts of English Civility; for
though they go for Confent in the English Dominions,
they'll not bear the Tefts of other Nations.
For Example; Damn ye, fays one, I am glad to see you :
Is not this a quaint Salutation? First, to pack me away
to
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed,
II
to Hell, and then proteſt he is glad to ſee me ſo conveni-
ently lodg'd? What Provifion will theſe Blades make for
their Enemies, if they place their Friends fo untowardly?
Certainly, they fancy Hell is a fine Seat, and that the
Damned are in a fair Way of Promotion ?
Damnye Dog, how doft do? cries another: This feat
Compliment implies Damnation and Transformation
too: It's a Compound of Curfe and Raillery. I am
plunged into Hell, daſhed out of the Lift of Rationals,
and then, with a Taunt, asked how I do? Why, a Man
in Fire and Brimftone, is not altogether at his Eafe,
and a reaſonable Creature curft into a Dog, not very
fond of the Metamorphofis.
A third very genteelly accofts a Friend he has not per-
chance feen of a Twelve-month, Ye Son of a Whore, where
bave you been? This is an English Addrefs to a Tittle :
It is a kind of a staple Commodity of the Nation, and
like our Wool, muft not be tranfported under Pain of
Confifcation: But furely we need not lay fo fevere an
Embargo on the Ware, for it's ten to one 'twill never find
Vent in any other Nation on this Side of the Canaries;
a handful of Dirt, well applied, is as civil a Compliment,
though not quite fo cleanly. Son of a Whore! There is
abundance of Freedom in the Expreffion, but not a Grain
of Breeding: Unless you meaſure Behaviour by the
Dialect of a Billinfg ate, and the Bear-garden. Certain-
ly thefe Gentlemen are Admirers of Charity; why elfe
do they dignify Whoredom ? For Whore ftands for a
Mark of Quality, a diftinguiſhing Character; otherwiſe
the Salutation would appear coarfe and homely; but, by
their leave, few are in Love with Cross-Bars; and to be
Brother to a By-blow, is to be a Baftard once removed.
I know we fling a Veil on thefe Expreffions, and
waſh over their Foulneſs with fair Pretences. Damnye,
fays one, and Son of a Whore ftand meerly for Cyphers,
or only ſerve to enliven a Period, and to make the Ex-
preffion more bluſtering; I confefs Whore and Damnation
are near a-kin, and often go together; but for all that,
the Sillineſs of the Excuſe can't ftifle the monſtrous In-
civility of the Compliment; for though it fignifies no-
thing to him who receives it in good time, it will fignify
much to him that ſpoke it: For though a Friend may let
fach Curfes fall to the Ground, God will put 'em to Ac-
count;
12
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
count; and though they ftand for Cyphers in England,
they may purchaſe eternal Torments in Hell.
They are, fays another, Marks of English Familiarity,
pure Sallies of Kindneſs and Demonftrations of Friend-
fhip. No doubt, to deliver over to Satan an old Ac-
quaintance, without asking his Conſent to the Convey-
ance, is Freedom with a Vengeance; but at which end
of the Compliment is his Kindnefs? In fhort, Neander,
fuch Expreffions grate the Organ, and turn the very Fa-
culty of Hearing into a Burden; they are high Symp-
toms of a lewd Inclination, and of a depraved Complexi-
on; for when the Breath ſmells rank, the Stomach is
infected. In ſhort, fuch a Jargon is a Breach of Civili-
ty, it's a ruftick Cant, an uncreditable Dialect; nor is
the whole Poffe of Bullies able to ennoble it.
V.
When Civility obliges you to vifit Ladies, pray keep
your Compliments to the Rules of Chriſtianity; there
is no Neceffity of laying Religion at the Door with
your Golofhoes, nor of denying God when you entertain
her Ladyſhip: For certainly Breeding is not incompati-
ble with Religion, and a Man may make an Addreſs
alamode without apoftatizing from Chriftianity: Yet
though the Worſhip of the Virgin Mary be difallowed of,
we may adore Ladies without the Breach of a Statute,
and commit Idolatry not only without Reproof, but e-
ven without Sin: One fwears, Heaven fits in her Smiles,
and Hell in her Frowns. A fecond ftiles her Saint; tho'
perchance her Ladyfhip is more ftock'd with Beauty than
Piety, and her Face better provided with Grace than
her Soul: A third enlarges her Perfections; he ranks
her among the Angels; and, to compleat the Folly with
Blafphemy, a fourth deifies her: Theſe Pagan Compli-
ments are the Standard of Courtship, the Scale of Ce-
remony, and the Meaſure of good Breeding. But after
all, Practice can never blanch over the Foulneſs of theſe
daring Expreffions; every Syllable breathes Frenzy and
Blafphemy; nor is there any way to acquit theſe raving
Platonicks of a Crime, but by fuppofing 'em unreasonable.
A few Pimples handfomely fprinkled would very effi-
caciouſly diflodge the Angel, as perchance her Lewd-
nefs has baniſh'd the Saint; and a few Small Pox would
chequer
t
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
1 3
chequer her Divinity, and tumble the Goddeſs into a
Monſter; and then Hell might as well perch on her Smiles,
as on her Frowns. But Raillery apart, tho' we fling
Impiety out of the Queftion, fuch Addreffes are plain
Satyr, and Invective on the Sex: For they ſuppoſe
Women either extravagantly proud, or fuperlatively fil-
ly; now the very Suppofition is both ungenteel and fcan-
dalous. I am fenfible indeed the Sex is no Enemy to Hy-
perbole in Courtship; Women are more fond of thofe
Glafles that conceal Difproportions, than of thofe that
repreſent them; they can't well diſtinguiſh between Flat-
tery and Merit, and as they eagerly defire thoſe Perfec-
tions that are proper to their Sex, fo they eaſily are per-
fuaded they poffefs them; for we foon believe what we
earneſtly defire: So hence it is, that they take a pleafing
Raillery for a ſerious Truth, and even fometimes a Lam-
poon for a Panegyrick; but then an ungrateful Truth
puts them into a Ferment; it ruffles their good Humour,
and fours their Blood. Something therefore may be al-
lowed to Cuſtom and their Conftitution; flatter their La-
dyships into an even Temper, rather than reaſon them out
of it, provided you keep within a mean, and ſtep not
beyond the Bounds of Decency; but to break into Flights
of Impiety, into Raptures of Blafphemy, is to play the
Fool and the Atheiſt.
VI.
Gentlemen have fo much time on their Hands that
they know not how to ſpend it; it's a Burthen and a
Charge, and fo, like Prodigals, they rather fling it away
than take Pains to improve it. I counſel you therefore
to fet afide fome Hours for Reading; it's a handfome
Diverfion, and conveys Profit through Pleafure; the
Intellect is a grateful Soil; but then, like a Field, it re-
quires manuring. By Reading, you join paft Ages to the
prefent, you travel into Afia, Africa and America, with-
out Expence, without Danger, nay, without walking out
of your Clofet.
Senfual Pleaſures rather ftupify than
delight, they play upon the Organ, and dull the Appetite,
they are often brutal, and feldom innocent; but thoſe of
the Underſtanding fhine brighter, they are of a more re-
fined Metal, free from Drofs, and void of Repentance;
they extend the Faculty,and render it more rational; they
rather
14
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
rather whet Defire than glut it, and ſcrew Man's topping
Prerogative, Reaſon, up to the higheſt Pitch. A Gentle-
man furniſh'd with Reading, can never be at a Loſs to
fet on foot, and carry on a handſome Converſation; he
is always well ſtocked, and carries his Proviſions about
him; whereas others are forced to fetch Matter from the
Kennel or the Stable, and too too often from the Stews ;
their Diſcourſe is a Compound of Smut and Raillery, en-
livened always with Foolleries, and fometimes feafoned
with Oaths and Blafphemies: Nonfenfe, in fine, though
not the moſt creditable, is the moſt innocent and lefs
blamed Ingredient. Good God! how often have I loft
Patience, and fretted away good Humour in the Com-
pany of Gentlemen of fair Eſtates, and of noble Ex-
traction; methought they had ſerved an Apprenticeſhip
under Grooms or Dog-boys; they eternally grated my
Ears with Hounds and Horfes, and broke out into ſuch
clamorous Tumults, as if they had been drawing up the
Grievances of the Nation, or pelting the Prerogative; yet
after all, the Queſtion was only, whether Pufs or Light-
foot got the better laft Chace. Racing and Hunting are
indeed laudable Recreations; and upon Occafions may be
diſcourſed of; but then, to harp perpetually upon theſe
Creatures, is an infallible Argument their Thoughts are
mean, and too weak winged to foar above the Beaſt.
Some Years ago, I took a Turn beyond the Seas, and
made a confiderable Stay in thofe Parts: At my return
I gave a Vifit to an old Acquaintance; a Man of Cha-
racter, of Eftate, of an ancient Family, and Deputy
Lieutenant of a County; he was at Table; a Hawking-
bag hung on the left-fide, and a Bumpkin guarded the
right; his Hat, Coat and Wig were all of a piece, more
fit for a Scare-Crow than a Deputy; his Memory was as
fhort as his Wig; for fome Years Abfence had wiped
out our Acquaintance; he knew me not, and indeed,
I was no lefs puzzled to find my Friend under fo flo-
venly a Diſguiſe: However, at length we renewed our
old Species, and then he very warmly embraced me with
this Salutation; Eufebius, by God, I am glad to fee thee:
I expected he would follow this quaint Compliment.
with an Enquiry into my Health, or fatisfied his Curiofity
with a Rehearſal of my Travels; that he would ask in
what Pofture I left our Allies; whether they made Pre-
parations
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
15
parations for the Siege of Namur, or Monfieur for that
of Maestricht; whether Prince Eugene enter'd Cremona
with greater Glory, or left it with greater Infamy; whe-
ther Fribergen did better to receive a Stab from Mahoni,
than Quarter; or whether this brave Baron died like a
Fool or a Hero: In fine, what Advantage the Imperialifts
got by the Victory at Luzzara, or whether the Profit
would balance the Expence of Powder and Shot, laid
out in the Empire on the Thankſgiving-Day.
No, the Gentleman's Curiofity never travelled fo far:
He had confined his Knowledge within the Bounds of
his own Country; all the rest of the World was Terra
incognita to his Worship: He fell immediately upon the
Excellency of Tobacco, and then halled me up to the Stable,
that I might pay my Reſpect to Bobtail; and in the way
honoured me with an accurate Account of his Poultry.
Oh! faid I to myſelf, had this Lieutenant hunted lefs,
and read more; had he cultivated his Underſtanding, and
let a Field or two lie fallow, he might have been Com-
pany for Men: But, alas! he was the Darling of the Fa-
mily; he hectored it at Home, whilft he fhould have
been at School and Abroad; was made a Man at fif-
teen, to be a Child and a Coxcomb at threeſcore.
I would not have you, upon all Occafions, difcourfe
in Syllogifm, nor deliver your Thoughts in Mood and
Figure: Such philofophical Cant fuits better with a Pe-
dant than a Gentleman; and may pafs in the School, but
not in the Parlour. Neither prefs upon Company a Va-
cuum, nor Mr. Boyle's Pondus Atmosphere, a civil Con-
verſation may be managed handfomely in cither Hypothe-
fis; and I conceive Difcourfe profpered no leſs in the Days
of good old Materia Prima, than in the Reign of des
Cartes's third Element.
You may alſo let the Grand Mogul fit quietly at Agra,
and Prefter John in Ethiopia; few Gentlemens Know-
ledge travels fo far from Home. France, Spain and
Italy lie more conveniently; befides Claret, Malaga, and
Flasks of Florence, have given us fome Notions of thoſe
Kingdoms.
Time your Subject; good things ſpoke out of Seaſon,
lofe their Value. I would not harangue a Lady in Greek,
nor a Country Vicar in Hebrew: For, alas! her Learning
goes not beyond French, nor his above Latin: Difcourfe
muft
16
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
A
muſt be adapted to the Company; and it takes more
when it naturally flides in, than when drawn in by Head
and Shoulders. In a word, Neander, enrich your Un-
derſtanding by the Knowledge of Things that become
your Quality; and when you are doubly equipp'd (I mean
with a fair Eftate, and a good fund of Learning) what
can you defire more, but an ordinary Stock of Prudence
to lay them out to Advantage?
VIÍ.
Converſe not ordinarily with Perfons above your Rank,
nor with thoſe that are below it; that will endanger your
Eſtate, this your Breeding. A Man of a thouſand Pound
per Annum, can't long keep pace with one of ten thou-
fand; he'll infallibly lag, and jade by the way; and per-
chance be forc❜d to take in at the next Goal: Or, if in
time he refolve to foreſtal his Ruin, he muſt faſt out the
Riot of a fhort Carnaval with a long Lent; he muſt
ftint himſelf to a fhort Pittance, and lop off a Branch to
fecure the Stock: For Eftate-Wounds fefter into a Gan-
grene, and nothing but the Saw or Seering-Iron can ſtop
the Infection.
But on the other fide, to herd with Peaſants is a kind
of voluntary Degradation; it's to break your Escutcheon,
and to commence Yeoman. Peafantry is a Diſeaſe, like
the Plague, eafily caught by Converſation; it's a Colour
that takes on any Subject, and feldom wears off: why
then ſhall á Perfon of Honour forfeit his Patent without
Treafon Clowns are a fort of encroaching Animals;
give an Inch, they'll take an Ell, and repay your Famili
arity with Contempt and Outrage: If you intend to oblige
them to a Diſtance, ſtoop not below your Station, nor
fet them on equal Ground; if once you make them Com-
panions, they'll ufurp the Authority of Mafters; for they
want Prudence to manage a Familiarity, but not Impu-
dence to abuſe it: But take care not to brow-beat them,
nor pretend to keep them under too fevere Difcipline; for
the moſt deſpicable and cowardly Creatures, if forc'd,
will turn and fly in your Face.
VIII.
Some Gentlemen are ſo punctilious and nice, that they
look on Buſineſs as a thing below their Level: No, they'll
not
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
17
not look on their Accounts, tho' their Eftate lies in an
Agony; as if there were no Difference between Pru-
dence and Trading. But certainly, Wiſdom jars not with
Quality; and I hope, one may be a good Husband with-
out turning Clown: It's no Branch of a Gentleman's Pre-
rogative to be bubbled out of Houſe and Home. When
Expences run high, is it not fit at leaſt to provide againſt
Fraud and Circumvention? Prodigality on the one Side,
and Fraud on the other, will foon drain an Eſtate to the
Lees. Do not therefore all by Deputy: To trust a
Steward too much, is to expofe his Vertue. Honeſty is
not always Proof againſt Temptation: Men often cheat
without Scruple, when they can do it without Fear. Re-
member, that Nobility ftript of Means, makes no gen-
teel Figure; it can't ftand without golden Supporters:
Model therefore your Expences by your Income, and
reflect you poffefs Lands, not Mines; two thouſand ex-
pended, and one received, will not balance Accounts at
the Year's End: If you are wife, live on the Crop, not
on the Land; convey not a Lordſhip to London in a Bill
of Exchange, nor carry Acres in your Pocket; they thrive.
well in Country Air, but fall into Confumptions and
Hecticks at White-ball and Groom-Porters, and foon ex-
pire; and then you muſt run upon the Common, or live
on Charity or Courteſy; or Chameleon-like, on the Air,
unleſs you had rather turn Knight-Errant on the King's
Highway, or take up your Quarters at Tyburn. Believe
me, Neander, Poverty is unfaſhionable in our Days, and
Dependance uneafy; take Care therefore of the main
Chance, lay by a Reſerve for Age and Accidents: Anew
Lordſhip does not (like a Phoenix) jump out of the Aſhes
of the old: No, when it's gone, Hope follows it; no-
thing remains but Beggary, Contempt, Deſpair, and Re-
pentance.
Be neither covetous nor profufe; Extreams are vicious;
that feems less genteel, and this more fooliſh. I hate
to fee a Gentleman, like a Snail, draw in his Figure to
fave his Purſe, and not only want the Conveniences, but
even the Neceffaries of Life in the Face of Abundance:
This is almoft to antedate Mifery, and to turn the Fa-
ble of Tantalus into a real Story. I would no more truſt
fuch a Mifer, than a Foot-Pad or a Cut Purſe; he who
loves Money more than himſelf, will infallibly rate it above
C
•
Honesty,
18 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Honefty, and he'll ſtretch a Point, and unlooſe Conſci-
ence when Opportunity opens any Profpect of Gain:
For to a Mifer, Knavery and Cozenage are unquestiona-
ble Axioms, and ought to be fuppofed as a Poftulatum:
In a word, it's a baſe Employment to lie on Earth, and
to ſtand Centinel to Intereft; I would neither fawn on
Money for Money's Sake; nor duck and drake it away
for a Frolick: No, I would not part with my Liberty
for a Spanish Flota, nor with a Shilling for a good Mor-
row; that would be to over-value Slavery; and this to un-
der-rate Silver.
Let your Equipage run even with your Purfe and Qua-
lity. Starve not yourſelf to feed Lackeys; nor give 'em
a Coach (as N. N. did) to fave their Liveries. Hand-
fom Regales fometimes buoy up Credit, cheriſh Friend-
fhip, nouriſh Mirth, and breathe Life and Spirit into
Converſation; tho' they fink your Purfe, they do not
drain it; at leaſt you receive Credit for your Money.
IX.
A continual Application to Buſineſs works upon the
Brain, it exhaufts the Spirits, and undermines Health:
Nature muft not be run down, allow it Time to breathe;
if you are always on the Spur, you'll jade it. Exchange
therefore ſometimes your ferious Employments for ho-
neft and genteel Recreations; they refreſh the Mind, un-
burthen Nature, enliven the Faculties, and pour new Life
and Vigour into the Body: Chuſe thoſe that are more
diverting and lefs expenfive; a Pleaſure over-purchaſed is
a real Torment, and then if they require Study and Ap-
plication, you do not fo much eaſe Nature as change the
Burthen. I would not have you venture upon Games
of Hazard, unleſs Civility oblige you, and even then
ſtake no more, than you dare lofe without Paſſion:
Thoſe Plays, like Quick-Sands, fwallow Eftates at a
fitting; they devour a Man's Patience, and caft Nature
into a Ferment. Good God! how uneafy have I ſeen
Gamefters? Methought they fate on Thorns or Tenters;
you might fee Paffion in their Geſtures, and read De-
fpair on their Faces; they broke through all the Barri-
ers of Modefty and Decorum, and diced away their Mo-
ney firft, and then flung Patience after it. Had Force
ftretcht theſe Gamefters on that Rack, I fhould have pi-
tied
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
19
tied their Misfortune; but when I reflected they were
their own Executioners, let 'em fuffer, faid I, nothing
but Stripes can teach Fools Wiſdom, nor reftore Mad-
men to their Wits.
I met once Sir N. N. an old Acquaintance; whither
ſo faſt, ſaid I, old Friend? I am, replied he, on an Ex-
pedition: You are methinks, anſwered I again, too cra-
zy for a Winter Campaign, and too old to turn Maro-
deur, or Partizan: Nay, faid he, my Buſineſs lies with-
in Doors: In fhort, I am bound for St. James's, where I
intend to fling away a hundred Guineas. To fling away
a hundred Guineas! faid I, Prithee, if you are over-
charged with Coin, favour me with the Burthen;
you'll play the Fool at leaſt with a better Grace, and leſs
Trouble. But the Propofal did not relifh; he would,
Gentleman-like, keep his Word, though he loft his
Purfe; and had rather forfeit his Eſtate than his Credit.
He invited me to accompany him; away we drove to
the Place of Rendezvous, where we found his Antago-
nift ready to encounter: Down they fat, and to it they
went; at the beginning the Dice favour'd my old Knight
ſo ſtrangely, that I thought good Luck and he were of
Intelligence. Lord! how the old Gentleman crow'd!
Joy danc'd through every Joint, you might fee it flufh
in his Face, and gild the Decays of Nature. In fine,
good Luck feem'd to have fil'd off his Account twenty
Years, and to have put as many more to his Credit
but then if good Humour fat on this Side of the Table,
bad fat on the other; the young 'Squire firſt took the Pet,
then Clouds began to rife, which made me expect a
Tempeft; nor was I deceived in my Conjecture; for
immediately away fly the Dice with a Brace of Curfes
at their Heels; then Fortune is halled to the Bar, ar-
raigned and condemned: Providence brings up the Rear
of the Criminals; you wou'd have thought this one and
twenty came in a direct Line from Hercules, he play'd
the Furiofo fo lively.
And now Sir N.N. was entring the Haven with his
golden Fleece; when on a fudden the Wind chopt
about, and blew in his Teeth; the Tables are turned,
the Scene is changed, the Knight fumes, and the Squire
triumphs; one curfes the Dice, the other gives 'em his
Bleffing: They ſteer their Paffions by the Cube, and vary
C 2
with
20
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
with the Cafts. In fine, my Friend ftood to his Word,
he left the Field, and a hundred Guineas to the Victor,
and loft all Gravity and Moderation. I accompanied
him to his Lodgings; but I found he was even lurcht
of good Nature alfo. Well, faid I, do you call this
Play? Can Sport and Anxiety, Fear and Defpair ſtand
together? Hell and Heaven are as compatible: I would
as foon for Diverfion take a Turn upon the Rack, or
lay my Head between the Anvil and the Hammer; theſe
Torments are not greater; but I am ſure are leſs expen-
five.
Neander, You may learn by this, how ill thefe Plays
deferve the Name of Recreations; fly 'em therefore as
the Plague, they prey upon Content, corrode Satisfacti-
on, and in Conclufion fwallow Eftates, and commend
Nobility to the Pariſh.
Hawking and Hunting are more manly, more genteel,
and more diverting; thefe Sports are almoſt as antient
as our Nature, they have kept up their Reputation in
fpight of all the Viciffitudes of Time and Fortune; but
then they muſt be taken with Moderation, like Phyfick
for Health, not like Meat for Diet. To range eternally
in Woods and Thickets after Beafts, is rather the Office
of a Keeper, than the Sport of a Gentleman. I blame
not the Recreation, but the Excefs: For though Hunting
be a royal Paftime, it's certainly a bafe and fervile Em-
ployment,
Nean. Fray, what is your Opinion of Dancing and
Mufick? Are they genteel Accompliſhments?
Eufeb. No doubt: They embellifh Quality, and give
a pretty turn to Breeding; they furniſh a Man with all
the little Ingredients neceffary for a quaint Addrefs, and
ufher him into Company with Advantage; they relieve
a drooping Diſcourſe: For when Reafon runs low, and
Converſation languiſhes, a Stroke of the Fiddle, a Song
or a Saraband, well performed, may enliven it; But don't
over-rate theſe Talents, nor place 'em among the firſt-
rate Qualifications of a Gentleman; for in Reality they
only fit you up for a modifh Addrefs, and a Female En-
tertainment. Let a Man rather trim up his Mind than
his Body: Thofe Embellifhments are more noble and rich
that lie in the Brain, than thoſe that fink into the Feet,
or perch on the Finger's End,
X. When
}
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
21
X.
When Innocence left the World, Cloaths came into
Faſhion; they were only invented as a Screen to Naked-
nefs, and a Defence to Decency; you muſt not there-
fore invert the Inftitution, nor turn the Marks of Infamy
into Badges of Grandeur; for it's a Madneſs to pride in
our Shame, and to look big becauſe we are poor and indi-
gent: Indeed a Gentleman fhould not clatter in Sabots,
nor trudge about in Linfy-Woolfy. Quality under fuch a
Difguife would make a flovenly Figure: Be neat with-
out Gaudinefs, genteel without Affectation: In fine, the
Taylor must take meaſure both of your Purfe and of your
Quality, as well as of your Perfon: For a Suit that fits
the Character, is more alamode than that which fits well
on the Body. I have feen fome Fops over-fhoot Extra-
vagance; they ranfack'd all the Shops in Pater-Nofter-
Row and Cheapfide for the Matter, and confulted the
whole Company of Merchant-Taylors for the Form; a
Man of War might be rigg'd with lefs Noife, and fome-
times at leſs Expence: Now, though fine Feathers make
fine Birds, yet furely gaudy Trappings can't make fine
Gentlemen for the Embellishments of Quality are Wit,
Judgment, and Behaviour; an Air that's noble without
Haughtinefs, and condefcending without Meannefs.
Now theſe Qualifications lodge in the Soul, they lie in
the Head, not on the Back; the Effects indeed run to the
Superficies, but the Caufe fculks out of fight.
I fuppofe we put not off our Nobility at Night, nor
put it on in the Morning at the Toilet; why then are we
Imitten with Drapery, and doat on Finery? This muſt
be underſtood with Regard to Decency; Allowance muſt
be given to Cuſtom and Opinion; a Gentleman muſt
not be fo unpretending in Appearance, as to affect
Slovenlinefs; this is to facrifice one Vice to another, to
atone for Vanity with Naftinefs: Walk between theſe
two Extremes; though you uſe both Shops and Taylors,
depend on neither; build not your Reputation on Silks,
nor your Worth on Stuffs: For in a Word, they are mere
Excrements of poor Animals. Now, to make the baſeſt
Part of Worms and Sheep the Top of our Greatneſs,
is in Effect to commence Beaft. Neander, put on a good
Humour, a fine Behaviour, a noble Difpofition, and
C 3
you'll
22
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
you'll keep the Mob at a Diſtance; but whofoeyer pre-
tends to dazzle Men into Refpect, merely with Scarlet
and Gold Lace, will fall fhort of his Pretenfions. Men
are not awed by Cloaths, but Vertue: Old Fabricius in his
Jerkin, and Curius in the Chimney Corner, were more
eſteemed and feared than Caligula or Heliogabalus, in all
their State and Bravery.
星
​XI.
Let not one Action ftoop below the Level of your
Quality; be not deceived in the Notion of Honour; this
is a neceffary Caveat in the mad Age we live. Some
confound Honour with Profit, others with Pleaſure ;
but by the Rules of this new Syftem, Pilfering and Lewd-
nefs are dignifying Qualifications: And fo Foot-pads,
Cut-purfes, and Debauchees may pretend to the Right of
Peerage; but others feat it on the Sword's Point, and per-
fuade themſelves it confifts in Slaughter; as if there were
no Difference between Honour and Savagenefs, between
a Gentleman and a Butcher: Thefe are a Race of Eu-
ropean Canibals, who worry their Species, and devour
Man's Fleſh; true Anthropophagi, who fport in Blood,
and turn Slaughter into a Diverfion; they are known by
the Names of Scowrers and Duellifts; but thefe Apella-
tions are too innocent for fo bafe, fo barbarous an Em-
ployment; they ſtand guilty of Murder by the Laws of
the Land, and therefore are mark'd with Shame and In-
famy by the Government: But befides they are condemn'd
by the Law of God, and ſo are at once outlawed by Re-
ligion and the State. What, I befeech you, can ftigma-
tize and degrade a Practice more efficacioufly than this
double Excommunication?
But, fays a Gentleman, fhall I receive an Affront?
Yes, I hope, rather than a Stab, or a Halter; that may
be retrieved, but a Wound in the Heart, or a disjointed
Neck, are irremediable. But muft I fwallow the Lye
too? Why not, if you deſerve it? The Puniſhment ex-
ceeds not the Crime, and methinks it's reaſonable for the
Penalty and the Fault to go together: For pray reflect
if the Imputation of a Lye be fo offenfive to Quality, the
thing itſelf is much more; and therefore you ought rather
to take thoſe Imputations as Admonitions than Affronts.
But
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
23
>
But fuppofe it be a Calumny, I would either contemn
It or pardon it; a Man muft undervalue the Benefit of
Eafe, and the Price of Life to fell it for fo inconfiderable
a Trifle; for in the Judgment of the Law it's nothing, it
will not bear an Action. Now, feeing we fubmit to the
Opinion of the Judges in other Differences, why are we
refractory in this Cafe? The Law is the Standard not
only of Right and Wrong, but of Honour and Infamy:
And feeing it will not take Cognizance of fo petty an
Afperfion, it ſuppoſes it below Notice.
Ay! But custom has ennobled Revenge: And we had
better be out of the World, than out of the Faſhion.
Under Favour, the King is the only Fountain of Ho-
nour, and I cannot find he ever made over to Cuftom
this Prerogative Royal.
But what is this Cuſtom you talk of? (i. e.) a Club of
Defperadoes, without Religion, without Confcience, a
Pack of Renegado Chriftians, who are a Scandal to their
Profeffion, and a Shame to their Nature; vote Murder a
brave Action, and you obtrude this atheiſtical Error from
the univerſal Opinion of Mankind, for the Standard of
Honour and Bravery. Why? Such Mens Judgments
are as falfe as their Principles, and their Opinions as de-
praved as their Manners; becauſe Rafcals extol Perjury,
Highwaymen Robbery, and Debauchees Lewdnefs, are
theſe creditable and innocent Vocations? Becauſe Per-
jury, Robbery, and Licentioufnefs are common, are they
lawful?
Befides, can any thing be more extravagantly fooliſh,
than the Punctilio's of a Duellift? One has given me
the Lye; to wipe off the Affront, I muſt provoke him to
tilt at my Lungs. Ah, but Right ftands for you! But
what if Fortune ſtands for your Antagoniſt? Right is a
dull Weapon, unlefs Skill and good Luck manage it;
the clandeftine Revenges of the Italians are cruel and
diabolical, but at leaſt they are lefs fooliſh than ours;
they will not bathe their wounded Honour in their own
Blood, but in that of their Enemy; and therefore they
attack unawares, or by Proxy; but we revenge at our
own Expence, nay, and upon our felves, and fometimes
at a Difadvantage too; as if to retrieve our Honour
we muſt die like Fools. I know not what Charms others
may fee in a Stab, I had rather be fent into the other
C 4
World
24
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
World by the Hangman than a Duellift; a Duel-is an ill
Diftemper to die of, though poffibly Atheiſts may think
it a genteel one; and I am confident theſe Martyrs of
Honour will be difcompofed when they find their Recep-
tion in the next Life falls fhort of their Expectation.
Death, Neander, is a great Leveller. Titles, Quali
ty, Wealth, with all their Appurtenances, leave us with
the laſt Breath: A Clown will meet with Reſpect if he
be innocent, and a Prince with Contempt if guilty; our
Treatment will anfwer our Actions, not our Birth; a
Scavenger that dies in Peace with God will be conveyed
into Glory; and a Lord that expires in Sin into Tor-
ments.
XII.
Some Gentlemen refine Breeding too much; they af-
fect a Singularity in Behaviour as well as in Religion,
and fo make themſelves ridiculous to appear genteel;
thefe are a heterogenous Race of Gentlemen fome call
Fops, and others Beaus; they are a Compound of Farce
and Ceremony, a Mixture of Mimick and Tragedian
had their Mothers made a Voyage to the Indies,
fhould fufpect they had fome Relation to an Ape: For
certainly they are of a mixt Species, and often the Beaſt
predominates, but always the Coxcomb; if the Beau
has more Wit, the Ape has more Judgment; theſe Gen-
tlemen ſpeak like Puppets, and walk like Clock-work;
they påfs the Morning between the Glafs and the Toilet,
and ſummon to their Levee the whole Poffe of Taylors,
Barbers, and Sempftreſſes; they value more the Art of
dreffing well, than the Knack of paying: And whilft o-
thers admire their Folly, like young Narciffus, they
contemplate their own Beauty: Pray leave the People
and their Behaviour to themfelves, and if you can't avoid
their Company, catch not their Grimaces. It's true,
you must prepare for an Attack; for like People ftruck
with the Plague, they love to give the Infection; if they
find you refty, they'll not fail to direct your Motions,
and anatomize your Comportment, and then you muſt
expect to be lampoon'd in Verfe, or pelted in Profe;
but they always meet with poor Caffandra's Fortune,
never to be believed; their yea's go for no's, and their
Satyrs for Panegyricks: I might enlarge upon this Sub-
ject,
1
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
25
ject, but I fear I have already treſpaſſed upon your Pa-
tience.
Nean. I fee, dear Eufebius, you are a Stranger to my
Conſtitution, I am not fo foon talk'd down; how can
I ſpend my Time better, than in learning how to ſpend it
well?
After a fhort Difcourſe of indifferent things, Neander
took leave of Eufebius with a Promiſe to return the next
Morning. He kept his Word, and Eufebius fpoke thus.
IT
DIALOGUE III.
Eufebius inftructs Neander in the Duty of a Christian.
Eufeb. IT's harder, dear Neander, to defcribe the part
of a Chriftian than that of a Gentleman, and
a matter of higher Importance to act it well; if a Gen-
tleman falls below his Character, his Reputation may
fuffer, but not his Soul: He may not ſtand fair in Mens
Opinion, but this is a trivial Misfortune; for pray what
great Advantage is it to be efteem'd by thofe, who cannot
be fufficiently blam'd? Alas! their Efteem is fo infignifi-
cant, that it's neither able to credit nor difgrace.
But oh! if our Life fwerves from the Laws of Chri-
ſtianity, and if Death takes us away in this Diſorder,
we are undone for ever, eternally loft! without Hope of
Change, or of retrieving our Misfortune: Upon this
Point our All depends; if we act a Chriftian well, we
ſhall be well received into the Joys of the Juft; but if ill,
into the Puniſhments of the Impious: And both theſe
States are everlaſting, both immenfe, that in Pleaſure,
this in Pain.
Now, when the Gain on the one fide is ſo vaft, and the
Lofs on the other fo exorbitant; does not Reaſon tell us
that we ought to bend all our Care, all our Application,
to diſcharge our felves of the Duties of a Chriftian? Í
will therefore draw up a fhort Scheme of the moſt preſ-
fing Offices of your Profeffion, and furniſh you with
Motives able to perfuade you to comply with 'em.
:
I. The
26
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
I.
The chief Reaſon why Men live at random is, becaufe
they have forgot their Errand; they fancy themſelves
to be the Work of Chance, the Off-ſpring of Hazard,
Creatures of Pleaſure placed on the Land (as the Levia-
than is in the Water) to ſport and play; but certainly we
muſt have ſmall Acquaintance with the Dignity of our
Nature, and a mean Opinion of our Greatnefs, to frame
fuch wild Ideas. Our Underſtanding is too noble to be
buried in Dung and Rubbiſh; and our Soul too ſpiritual to
be condemned by Nature to the bafe Employments of
Brutes.
No, no, Neander: God's Omnipotence framed us,
and his Goodneſs defigned us for himſelf alone. He has
ennobled us with Reaſon to know his Greatnefs, with a
Will to love his Goodneſs, and with a Soul to enjoy his
Perfection. He is our Alpha and our Omega, the Origin
of our Being, and the End of our Creation. It's im-
poflible for us to be miferable with him, or happy with-
out him.
II.
But, though we are made to enjoy God in Heaven,
it's uncertain, whether we fhall ever land at this thrice
happy Haven of the Bleffed; for God has decreed to
communicate the fupreme Felicity as a Reward, not as
a Gift: We muſt take this City by Storm, not by Capi-
tulation: We must enter Repee a la main: & violenti ra-
piunt illud. But if the Difficulty cramps our Courage,
if it baulks our Refolution, if we mifcarry in the Enter-
prize, or fail in the Execution, we are undone for ever;
- we muſt take up our Habitation in Hell, and dwell per-
petually with Fire and Brimftone. This we believe,
Neander, and the bare Thought of it ſometimes con-
geals the very Blood in our Veins, and ftrikes us with.
Horror and Amazement. One Theft, one Murder, one
Fornication unrepented, cafts us into a Lake of Fire, in-
to a Vale of Torments, into a fad Manfion of Defpair,
where we ſhall always burn, and never be confumed;
always die, and ever live the Object of God's Wrath,
and the perpetual Monuments of our Folly and Difobe-
dience. Theſe two Points are, as it were, Poftulatums
in Morality, and God has been pleaſed to reveal 'em in
almoſt
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
2
almoſt every Chapter and Page of the New Teftament,
that he might allure us to our Duty by the charming Pro-
ſpect of Heaven, or fcare us to it by the difmal Repre-
fentation of Hell.
III.
We can't tax God of Severity, nor complain of his
Unkindneſs; for though on the one Hand he draws up
in Battalia all the Terrors of an unhappy Eternity to
fright us; on the other he difplays all the Treaſures of
Heaven to whet our Hope, and animate our Courage;
nor does he lay our Salvation in the Hands of Chance,
or truſt it to the Care of our Enemies. Yet, he has en-
trufted every Man with his own Welfare; fo that we
cannot be miferable, unlefs we confpire againſt our felves,
and turn Traytors to our own Intereft. If therefore we
miſcarry, muſt not the Fault lie at our own Door? If we
will be fo ftupid as to fling up our Claim to Heaven; fo
void of Reaſon as to leap into Hell; do not we deſerve
to forfeit the one, and feel the other? A Man, who in
ſpight of Prayers and Tears will vault down a Precipice,
deferves to meafure the height of it by the Fall; and if
he breaks his Neck, who will not rather laugh at his
Misfortune than pity it?
·
IV.
Had God tied up our Happineſs to harder Conditions,
he had not over-rated it. For all we can either do or
fuffer in time, bears no Proportion with an Eternal Re-
ward; though he be our Maſter, he has behaved him-
felf to us with all the Tendernefs of an indulgent Father.
For he has drawn up Articles fo advantageous for us,
that we muſt be mad to complain, either of Circumven-
tion or hard Dealing: He requires nothing but Love and
Obedience. Now who can in Reafon refuſe to love an
infinite Beauty? Or to obey an omnipotent Power? We
pay him Love and Obedience by keeping his Command-
ments, which are only hard to thofe that refolve to
tranfgrefs 'em. Et mandata ejus gravia non funt. Nay,
they are ſo agreeable to Reaſon, that we muſt croſs upon
our Nature, before we can violate 'em, and almoſt ceaſe
to be Men, when we begin to be Sinners. In a Word,
to be happy in the next World we muſt be vertuous in
this. Vertue is your Duty, Neander, and if you practiſe
it
28
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
it ferioufly, 'twill prove your Pleafure. For God has fo
interwoven our Duty with our Satisfaction, that it's im-
poffible for a Man to be innocently unhappy.
V.
Though Vertue be an excellent Thing, it may be abu-
fed. It lies within the Reach of Fancy, Illuſion, and
Mifapplication; there is falfe Vertue as well as adulterate
Coin: And as the Lacedemonians trickt up their Gods in
the Spartan Drefs; fo oftentimes Men model Vertue by
their own Paffions. I have feen a moroſe Zealot eternal-
ly harangue againſt the Corruption of the Age; all was
wrong, all vicious, that crofs'd his four Humour. One
would have thought God had conftituted him Inspector-
General of Mankind; he kickt and flung after fo unchri-
ftian a rate, 'twas dangerous to come within his Reach..
Now, though Scripture and Reafon call this Sin, he mif-
took it, good Man, for Vertue. His Error was Proof
againſt Homily and Exhortation. You might have fooner
perfuaded him out of his Chriftian Name, than out of his
peevish Humour.
As I efteem nothing more than true and genuine Ver-
tue, ſo I abhor a Hypocrite. I hate thofe Mountebanks
of the Spirit, who turn Piety into a Trade; who pray
themſelves into Livings, and whine themſelves into Re-
putation; who practife Humility out of Pride, and Cha-
rity out of Spight; who preach up the moſt ſevere Mo-
rals in publick, and condemn 'em in private; whoſe Zeal
is Cenfure, whofe Juftice is Intereft, and Piety a Cover
to Vanity. I have heard theſe Tartars lafh the World to
Exceſs, whilft they courted it to Extravagance: They ex-
tolled Solitude, yet were always in Company, and prai-
fed Vertue, when they practifed Vice. In one Word, this
Race of Men is a Medley of Oppofites, humble without,
and proud within; arrogant to Excefs, and on Occafions
fubmiffive beyond Meaſure; all Fire, and all Smoak;
Saints in Appearance, and Sinners in Effect.
Others place Dagon and the Ark on the fame Altar.
Like Jehu, they blend Good with Evil, adore God in.
the Temple, and golden Calves in Dan and Bethel:
Sometimes they are all Spirit, fometimes all Body: Now
they regale their Senfes with a thouſand Ragoufts of
the moſt refined Lewdness: By and by they feaft their
Souls
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
29
Souls with the moſt high-feafon'd Piety: One Day they
furfeit with Fafting, another with Feafting: Yesterday
they were tired with Kneeling, to Day with Dancing:
They feldom mifs a Sermon, never a Play: If you fee
a Prayer-Book in their Hand, you may ſwear there is a
Lampoon in their Pocket; and if the Bible lies on their
Desk, a Romance ftands on the Shelf; fo that they are
half Saint, and half Devil, but all Monſter. I knew a
He-Devotee, who would ſpeak fo feelingly of the Ex-
cellency of Chaſtity, one would have taken him for a
Baptift; yet at the fame time he entertain❜d a Miſs in a
Corner; and though on Sunday he appear'd in the Church
with Refpect before the Lord, all the Week he paid Ho-
mage to the Lady: This is not Vertue, but an Oleo of
Vices: This is to worſhip God as the Soldiers did our Sa-
viour, with Outrage and Blafphemy. You may eafily
infer, that the Duty of a Chriſtian obliges you to deteft
and abhor fuch a Conduct, but not to imitate it, one
Defect tarnishes Vertue. Bonum ex integra caufa, ma-
lum ex quolibet defectu.
That Man is truly vertuous, who is neither proud in
good Fortune, nor abject in bad; who defires nothing but
Heaven, and fears nothing but Hell; who avenges Af-
fronts with Favours, and Injuries with Pardon; who is
fevere to himſelf, and eaſy to his Neighbour; who ſpeaks
well of all but himſelf; and never pardons his own De-
fects, nor cenfures thofe of his Brethren. In a Word, Ne-
ander, Do good, and fly from evil, is the Sum of your Du-
ty. This is Vertue in Short-Hand, Perfection in Epi-
tome, and Heaven in Reverfion.
VI.
That Part of your Duty is of the greateſt Importance,
that immediately belongs to God; he is our Maker and
our Sovereign, we are indebted to his Power for our
Being, to his Goodneſs for our Converfation; from him
we expect the Reward of our Vertues, and the Puniſh-
ment of our Vices. Return him therefore a 'thouſand
Thanks for the Favours you have received from the firſt
Moment of your Creation; you can't begin the Ac-
knowledgement too foon, you can't repeat it too often,
becauſe you can never thank him enough; reſpect_him
as your Father, ferve him as your Mafter, and fear him
26
30
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
as your Judge; neither forget his Kindneſs in Proſperity,
nor blafpheme his Conduct in Adverfity: He is no lefs
amiable when he frowns, than when he fmiles; when he
wounds, than when he heals. And therefore kiſs the
facred Hand that ftrikes, as well as that which ftroaks
you: He always defigns your Good, unleſs by Murmurs
and Impatience you turn his Bleffing into Curſes; and
then praiſe his Conduct, but condemn your own.
Ah! Neander, a thouſand thouſand times happy is
that Man, who flings up all his Concerns into the Hands
of Providence, and ties up his Defires to the Laws of
Obedience; he carries in his Breaſt a little Paradiſe, and
a Heaven in Profpect; he fits above the reach of For-
tune, and beholds with an Air of Unconcernedneſs un-
der his Feet, all thofe Storms and Tempefts that daſh in
Pieces other Mens Felicity; he neither defires good,
Succefs, nor fears Diſappointment; he opens his Door
no leſs chearfully to Want, than to Abundance: In fine,
he knows, that Command is God's Prerogative, and Sub-
miffion his Duty. Can Imagination paint a more folid,
a more fincere Satisfaction, than neither to languiſh un-
der the Torments of Hope, nor to fink under the Billows
of Deſpair; than to ſubject our Appetite to Reaſon, and
this to God, our omnipotent Maker and merciful Re-
deemer ?
This Submiffion raifes Man to the Height of Vertue
and Happineſs: For whofoever bows his Neck to the
fweet Yoak of Providence, neither amufes his Thoughts
with vifionary Hopes, nor extravagant Fears; he lives on
his own Fund, and keeps his Defires within the Compaſs
of his Power; he is content with the Portion God has
affigned him: This he holds only in Fee, and is ready to
leave it at the firſt Command. He neither affects to be
lefs, nor afpires to a higher Station; he would be juſt as
he is, becauſe God has made him fo.
Nean. This State of Indifference is a fine thing in
Theory and Speculation, but impoffible in Practice, and
is rather to be wifhed, than hoped for.
Eufeb. Pray remember that defponding Thoughts only
ſerve to pall the Spirits, and to blaſt generous Refolutions.
Things are often impoffible, becaufe Cowardife makes
'em fo: Check Fancy, and you'll not encounter thoſe
Difficulties in the Practice; Pufillanimity and Non-Expe-
rience
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
31
rience conjure up to fright you. For God is no Epicurean
Deity, fo taken up with the Enjoyment of his own Fe-
licity, that he has no leifure to caft a Thought on the
Concerns of poor Mortals below: No, no, Neander,
his Providence is as boundleſs as his Being; he did not di-
veft himſelf of the Government of the World, when he
had made it; he can't either forfeit his Title to the Ad-
miniſtration of the Univerfe, or abdicate it. That Hand
which made all Things muft of Neceffity continue 'em,
otherwiſe they'd make a ſpeedy Exit, and fink into their
primitive Nothing: He has affigned every Being its Sta-
tion; even the Worm and the Pifmire, he fets 'em their
Task, teaches them to work, and through a thouſand
Labyrinths leads all things to their perfect Ends. Now
certainly, he that created all fublunary Beings for Man,
cannot be thought to withdraw his Care from him, as if
he were below his Love or Concern: No, no, he counts
the Hairs of his Head, and regifters his Steps in the Folio
of his Omniscience.
Now God being Goodneſs it felf, he can't wait upon
us with an ill Defign. He ftands over us as a Guardian,
not as a Spy; as a Friend, not as an Enemy; he confi-
ders our Conftitution, and pries into all Circumftances,
that he may time his Favours, and fo enhance their Va-
lue, by adapting them to our Neceffities.
As his Goodneſs affures us he means well, fo his Wif-
dom gives us Security and Caution, that he can't be de-
ceived in the Choice of thofe Things he defigns for us; he
can't give us a Stone for a Loaf, nor a Scorpion for a
Fiſh, nor Poiſon for a Medicine: So that we are fure
on the one fide, that nothing befals us unawares, but ei-
ther by his Permiffion or Command; and on the other,
that he either permits or commands it for our Good; and
that it will certainly prove fo, unleſs we defeat his chari-
table Defigns by Impatience or Blafphemy, and by a
ftrange felf-creative Power turn his Bleffings into Curfes.
Now, what Misfortune can make Impreffion on a Mind
fo ſtrongly fenced? It will ftand the moft fiery Trial,
without an Oh, without a wry Face; for it has both
Faith and Reaſon to fupport it? And then he that will
weep that has all the Reaſon in the World to laugh, muſt
be fond of Tears, and in Love with Torment.
It's
32
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
It's true, this Doctrine is extinct in Practice: We
fnarl at Providence, we difpute his Orders, and burleſque
his Decrees; we ſcream out at the lighteſt Touch of his
gentle Hand, and turn our felves into all the Poſtures of
Impatience; we neither receive his Favours with Thanks,
nor Correction with Patience.
But this irrational Conduct argues much Peeviſhneſs
and more Infidelity. For thefe People muft either doubt
of his Power, or dare not truft his Goodneſs; and then
they deny both by Illation.
Ah! dear Neander, commit your Concerns to the Ma-
nagement of God; ask no temporal Bleffing, but with
a fiat voluntas tua; refuſe no Affliction; receive that
with Gratitude, this with Refignation; and if you can't
defire Croffes, at leaſt accept 'em, and remember always,
that thoſe things often prove more prejudicial we pray
for, than thoſe we fear.
We are an America, an undifcovered Region to our
felves, our Defires fly not only before Reaſon, but Re-
flection; fo that we are fo far from knowing what is
good for us, that we know not what we would be at :
Our Fancy over-fhoots Nature, and (like a Fool's Para-
dife) repreſents Objects in borrowed Colours and falfe
Shapes: Deluded therefore by vain Glaffes and deceitful
Opticks, we dote by Hazard, and hate at Random; we
embrace a deformed Leah for a charming Rachel; court
Happineſs, and eſpouſe Mifery. But God, who built our
Fabrick, knows our Conſtitution; he dives into our Tem-
per, and comprehends all thofe Things we either eagerly
purfue, or paffionately fly from; he fees the Employment
of theſe will convey us to eternal Felicity, and the Pof-
feffion of thofe into endleſs Torments. He therefore
gives what we feared, and refuſes what we defired. Now,
is it not a Kindneſs to be thus mercifully cruel? Is it not
a Favour to baulk our Pretenfions, and a real Misfor
tune to be fortunate?
VII.
We can never withdraw our felves from God's Im-
menfity: He reigns in Hell no lefs than in Heaven: He
exerciſes his Juftice among the Damned, and his Mercy
among the Bleffed; he dwells in Woods, and walks in
Cities; he retires with us into Solitude, and accompa-
nies
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
33
nies us in Converfation; he is in all Places, and fees all
Things; he fathoms our Defires, he counts our Words,
he fcans our Actions, and reads our Thoughts.
Imprint this Truth with indelible Characters in your
Memory, and recommend it to your daily Confiderati-
on; it will teach you both Caution and Refpect; it will
curb the diſorderly Sallies of Nature, and bind your Paf-
fion to its good Behaviour. You will not have the Face
to ſtep beyond the Bounds of Duty, nor fcarce be tempted
to tranfgrefs it. Nature, I confefs, is unruly, it will run
away with us, unleſs we keep a ſtrong and watchful Hand
over it; but then the very Thought that God ftands by,
will blow over thofe Flames of Paffion, that dim Rea-
fon, and hurry us into Tranfgreffions.
Before a grave Man we dare not fall into Indecency;
his very Prefence gives a Check to Appetite, and ſtops
Senfuality in its full Career: So that Lewdnefs and De-
bauchery are forced to retire, and give Place to Shame.
He who violates the Law in the Face of Authority, that
has both Will and Power to revenge the Contempt,
gives an evident Proof, that either Life is uneafy to him,
or that he is not compos mentis, and by confequence de-
ferves Bedlam rather than Tyburn. Yet human Juftice
acts in a narrow Sphere; it reaches but to Life, and can-
not purſue the Criminal beyond the Grave. If there-
fore the Sight of a Man, and the Apprehenfion of Death,
have fuch a Tranſcendency over us, as to cool the Fire
of Paffion, to diſcountenance an unbefeeming Sally, and
to repel any Affault upon our Vertue; certainly, a ftrong
Perfuafion, that God is prefent, that he looks on us to
crown our Vertues, and to chaſtiſe our Vices, cannot be
lefs efficacious; for he is Sovereign Diſpoſer of our Souls
and Bodies; he is able to tumble thefe into nothing, and
thofe into Hell; we may baffle human Juftice, either by
Flight, Money, or Favours, but we cannot fly out of
God's Dominion; his Anger can neither be appeafed with
Bribes, nor foftned with Tears, nor overcome with En-
treaties.
Now a Man who with the Eyes of Faith continually
beholds this dreadful Majefty hovering about him, with
the Reward of Vertue in one Hand, and the Sword of
Revenge in the other, will take Care of his Behaviour,
and not fell his Innocence for a fleet Pleaſure in Hand,
D
and
34
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
and eternal Torments in Remainder. Let me therefore
once more intreat you, by all that is dear, by all that is
facred, to carry this Confideration along with you in all
your Bufinefs, in all your Paftimes, its Company will
neither be troubleſome nor expenſive, but I am fure it
will be advantageous.
VIII.
God's infinite Greatnefs intitles him to Homage, and
our Dependance calls upon us to pay it: We cannot ac-
knowledge too foon his Authority, becauſe we cannot
refpect it too much: We are the Work of his Hands,
the Object of his Mercy, and fhall once be eternally
that of his Love, or of his Hatred; of his Love, if we
execute his Commands; but of his Hatred, if we tranf-
grefs 'em. Juftice therefore and Gratitude; Hope of
Heaven, and Fear of Hell, preach Vertue and Obedience
to his moft holy Injunctions. Yet, alas! this Voice of
Thunder is not able to awake our young Gallants,
like fo many bewitched Sampfons, they fleep in the Bo-
fom of faſcinating Pleaſures, that lull 'em into pleaſing
Trances, imaginary Delights, to plunge 'em into real
Torments. One would think they either disbelieved a
future State, they are fo unconcerned for the prefent; or
that they had a Patent to do ill; or at leaſt an Affurance
of Pardon and Repentance. Their Study is to learn
Sins; their Employment to commit 'em, and grand Di-
verfion to applaud their Impieties. Tell theſe deluded
Creatures they walk over Precipices, and fport on the
Brink of Deftruction: That to live a Debauchee, is to
die a Reprobate: They anfwer your charitable Admo-
nition with a Joak, or a Frown, and very coldly reply,
that Youth was made for Pleaſure, and old Age for
Repentance. Good God! that Men of Wit and Parts
ſhould fo wretchedly fool themſelves into Ruin. Were
our Souls no longer lived than our Bodies, did they fink
into nothing when we ceafed to breathe, that atheiſtical
Rant, Ede, bibe, gaude, cras moriemur, would not be
quite unreaſonable. Could we look into the Future, and
read our Deſtiny, could we caft up a Horoſcope of our
Death, as Aftrologers do of our Life; were we fure that
cras moriemur, we might equip ourfelves to Day for a
Journey to Hell, and make to Morrow great Prepara-
tions
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
33
tions for Heaven. But, alas! we dwell in a Region,
where Certainties are ſo twiſted with Uncertainties, that
though we know we muft die, yet we are as igno-
rant of the Time, Place, and Manner, as the Child un-
born. Perchance Divine Juftice may arreft us in the ve-
ry Heat of our Lewdnefs: It may drag us from the Stews
to Judgment: The first time we cloſe our Eye-lids may
be the laſt: We may only fleep in this World to wake in
the next; we may only open our Eyes to fee ftrange
Flames, and return to our Senfes to feel them.
Sudden Deaths are not miraculous. The Bills of Mor-
tality affure us they are too ordinary: But thefe Accidents
furprize your Debauchees oftner, than thofe who live
within the Bounds of Temperance and Moderation.
They over-charge Nature with continual Exceſs, and ſet
all the Humours of the Body in an Uproar: And how
eaſy is it for theſe Humours in fuch a Hurry and Tu-
mult, to crowd in upon the Heart? or to fly up to the
Brain? or to impede the playing of the Lungs, and on a
fudden ftop Reſpiration?
But though God fhould deal more mercifully with
thefe Men than they deferve, though he ſhould give them
both Time and Leiſure to repent, it's ten to one they will
die in their Sins, and carry into the next World thoſe
Crimes they committed in this.
For two Things are neceffary for a thorough Repen-
tance; God's Grace and Man's Co-operation; without
that we cannot repent, and without this he will not par-
don. If therefore the Difficulty to be overcome be greater
at Threefcore, than at Twenty, and Grace be lefs, it's
odds they'll not repent at Threefcore, but that certainly
will be greater, and this infallibly will be lefs. There-
fore it's odds, that the final Refolutions of theſe unfortu-
nate Gentlemen will vanifh into Smoak, and end in eter-
nal Deſpair and Puniſhment.
I prove the Difficulty will certainly be greater. Phi-
lofophy and Experience teach us, that a frequent Re-
lapfe into any Diſorder ingenders a Habit, that is, a
Facility and Propenfion to reiterate the fame Actions.
And this takes its Force from the Frequency of the Pra-
Etice: For though in natural Productions there is a cer
tain Point of Growth and Perfection, yet in Morals.
there is no fuch Term, both vicious and vertuous Habits
may
D 2
36
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
L
may go on in infinitum: Hence it happens, that an inve-
terate Cuſtom twifts and winds itſelf into our very Na-
ture; it finks into our Bones; and enters into our Confti-
tution. Now, if all the frightful Reproaches of Confci-
ence, all the Calls of Grace, the difmal Profpect of thoſe
Shades below, the charming Allurements of Heaven above,
were too feeble to refrain Nature alone; will they filence
the Clamours of mutinous Paffions, curb the Violence of
Nature back'd by Cuftom, and inflamed with ill Habits?
No, no: Nature feconded by a Habit (like a Loadſtone
armed with Iron) draws ten times ftronger. He who
groans under the Weight of a Feather, will fall under
that of a Mill-ſtone.
Now, as ill Habits biafs Nature, and make it more
impetuous, and lefs governable; fo in our Suppofition,
Grace the chief active Principle, is leis. For Grace is
a free Gift,no Debt, aliter Gratia non effet; we muſt re-
ceive it as a mere Benevolence, and cannot ask it as our
Due.
It is probable God will pour down upon his mortal Ene-
mies thefe Streams of Favour and Beauty, as plentifully
as on his Friends? On thofe who blafpheme him twenty
Years together, as on thoſe who adore him? On thofe
who abandon their Duty out of a determinate Malice,
as on thoſe who fall by Surprize? It is certain he will
not: For God will not be laught at; and can the Wit of
Man invent a more compendious, and at the fame time
a more biting Raillery, than by trampling under Foot
this Divine Gift, that coft our great Redeemer Torrents
of Sweat, and Rivers of Blood, than by making his
Goodneſs the Ground of our Ingratitude? Than by refu-
fing to repent, becauſe he is prone to pardon? If God be
juft, as certainly he is, he'll ftop the Conduit of his Mer-
cy, and rain down a Deluge of Maledictions on thoſe re-
bellious Giants, that attack the moft High, and turn his
greateſt Attributes againſt his own Breaft.
Nean. What you fay, as to the main, is true; but
give me leave to tell you, there is a Dafh of Hyper-
bole in your Difcourfe: Man's Malice can't weary God's
Mercy; he can pardon more Sins than Man is able to
commit; nay, and will, if we fling ourſelves at his
Feet, and fue for Mercy. A contrite Heart, Eufebius,
is a moving Spectacle; it difarms God's Juftice, and
melts
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
37
melts it into Mercy; and as he receives thofe Prodigals
that return, ſo he furnishes them with Grace for their
Voyage.
Eufeb. Neander, God's Goodness weighs down Man's.
Malice; our Obftinacy can't tire his Mercy; he'll give
both Pardon and Heaven to thoſe who ask 'em; his Word
ftands engaged, and he can't fly back. But then, where
has he promiſed that inveterate Sinners fhall ask Pardon?
It's true alfo, that the moſt profligate Debauchees have
Grace fufficient to work Repentance. But what fignifies
a Power to do Good, with a Will to do Evil? There is
not a damned Soul in Hell, that did not once find it felf
in the fame Circumftances. Is it lefs miferable, becauſe
once it might have been happy? Alas! this fad Medita-
tion ſuggeſts new Matter to their Defpair, becauſe it re-
preſents their Mifery, together with their Folly, as the
fole Caufe of their Misfortune.
Nean. Pray, Eufebius, don't difgrace God's darling
Virtue, Mercy; nor condemn poor Sinners to the worſt
of Torments, Deſpair. Whilft there is Life, there is Hope.
They who never thought of Pardon in their Lives, found
it at their Death. What! he who died for Man, can he
have the Heart to damn it? The very Thief on the Crofs,
though abandon'd by Men, was careffed by his loving Sa-
viour; and for one humble memento mei, received Mercy
in this World, and Paradiſe in the other.
Eufeb. Miftake me not, dear Neander, I am not
for grafping an Immenfity, nor for prefcribing Bounds
to an infinite Being; I know God's Mercy is above the
Skies; but then his Juftice finks below the Abyſs; ju
dicio ejus abyffus multa. We can't take the Height of
that, nor fathom the Depth of this. They are both equal,
i. e. infinite; nay, they are the fame thing: For Ju-
ftice is Mercy, armed with Revenge; and Mercy is Ju-
ftice, difpofed to Pardon. Why then fhould we dread
it in one Dreſs, as well as dote on it in the other? I am
not for cafting Men into Deſpair. As it is the greateſt
of Torments, fo it's the blackeft of Crimes, and the moſt
irrational: This antedates Damnation, and gives us over
to Execution before God has pronounced the Sentence.
To damn your felves out of a Fear of being damned, is
the Top of Madnefs; the ne plus ultra of Frenfy: To
think my Salvation impoffible, is to make it fo; not to
D 3
hope
38 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
hope for Heaven, is the next way to lofe it. But then
if I hate Defpair, I abhor Prefumption; if that leads us
to Hell by a direct Line, this does the Bufinefs as effica-
ciouſly. For can we outrage our great Mafter more,
than when we bend his auguft Attributes to our Lewd-
neſs? and build the Babel of our Abominations upon his
Goodneſs and our Crimes upon his Mercy? Is not this
to ſport with Majefty? to rally Authority? and to play
with Goodneſs? And pray what difference is there be-
tween deſpairing of Mercy, and burleſquing it? This im-
pious Mirth, Neander, will once end in Sorrow, and
theſe Peals of Laughter, in gnaſhing of Teeth: But be-
cauſe our Libertines put a great Streſs on the good Thief's
Converfion, and fancy their Deaths will refemble his,
no leſs than their Lives; 'twill not be amifs to examine
the Point.
First, St. Bernard tells us, that this Thief's Converſion
is the only Example, to be found in Scripture, of a de-
ferred Repentance that was fuccefsful. But, with Sub-
miffion, St. Bernard miftook in the Calculation: For this
was not properly a deferred Repentance. The Thief an-
ſwered the firſt Call of his agonizing Saviour; the firſt
Glance of his Sacred Eyes wounded his finful Soul, and
melted his hard Heart into Love and Sorrow.
Secondly, The Thief received Pardon and Paradife:
But what did he to deſerve this miraculous Favour? He
adored Chrift, not feated on a Throne of Glory, but co-
vered with Shame and Infamy, torn with Whips, pierced
with Thorns. outraged by his Enemies, forfaken by his
Friends: Befide, fome fay, Life was offered this Male-
factor, if he would deny Chrift: But he chofe rather to
die with him, and for him, than to live without him. So
that now the Caufe of his Death was changed, and he
who was faſtened to the Crofs a Robber, expired on it a
Martyr.
Thirdly, God fealed his Pardon; but this Act of Grace
was granted on the Day of Mercy; and yet of fo many
Sinners that were Spectators of this bloody Tragedy, we
know but this Thief, who was ſo fortunate as to ask
Pardon, and to receive it. Tell me then, dear Neander,
fhould we not rather draw Motives of Fear from the Mis-
fortune of thouſands, than of Prefumption from the good
Luck of one? If you look on the right Hand of our dy-
ing
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
39
ing Lord, pray caft an Eye upon the Left; and if you
behold on the one fide a Saint, you'll diſcover a Repro-
bate on the other. Let therefore Gentlemen learn Fear
from the Damnation of the one, as well as from the
other a dangerous Security. And I counfel all Chriftians.
to draw this Conclufion from the different Deaths of thefe
two Malefactors, that it's a Madneſs to deſpair, and Te.
merity to prefume; Unus eft ne difperes, unicus ne præ
Sumas.
Wherefore confecrate the firſt Fruits of Reafon to God;
you can't begin the Practice of Piety too foon, but may
too late; Nature, untainted with Vice, may be wrought
with Eafe into any Form, and caft in any Mould. It's
a kind of tabula rafa, a Blank, that almoft with the ſame
Facility receives the Characters of Angel, and of Devil;
but when once it's ftained with Sin, when it's biaffed by
ill Habits, and worſe Principles, you will find it ſtubborn
and rebellious. Be not then fo fooliſh as to prefer Dan-
ger before Security, and to turn Pleaſure into Toil. Take
Occafion by the Fore-top, it quickly paffes, and feldom
returns.
IX.
Religion is the Ground-work of Salvation; and there-
fore you cannot be too tender of a thing that ſo nearly
concerns your eternal Happineſs. I recommend this
Point to your Care with greater Eagernefs, becauſe at
prefent it lies under all the Diſadvantage of Contempt,
and I fear the Gentry have a greater Hand in the Scan-
dal, than the Commonalty. Nothing, indeed, enters
more frequently in Difcourfe; it's the vulgar Topick of
Converfation, the Subject of our Heats, the Source of
Divifions, and by Confequence of our Misfortunes:
Yet not one of a hundred knows the very Meaning of
the Word, and not two in a thouſand agree upon the
Thing; the very Ideas we have of it are wild and mon-
ftrous.
I have heard with Indignation and Horror, fome Gen-
tlemen pronounce ex Cathedra, That Religion is a Grie-
vance; no Duty, becauſe it controuls our moſt noble Fa-
culty, the Underſtanding, and enflaves us to blind Obe-
dience.
D 4
Others
40
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Others weigh Religion by Intereft, and proteft, that
Orthodoxy and Profit go together: So that in thoſe Mens
Theology, Turcifm, with a 1000 l. per Annum, is more
credible, than Chriſtianity with goo.
Others again confound Religion with Faction, and fo
to carry on a black Defign ftrike in with any Conventicle;
they cry out for Liberty of Confcience, although they
have none for Reformation, though they delight in Tu-
mults, and feign the Angel to play the Fiend.
Others, like an abandon'd Brat, drop it at Church-
mens Doors, and fancy it is a Monſter of their begetting,
Craft (fay they) Jugling and Intereſt brought it forth,'
whilft Superftition and Policy maintains it.
But by theſe Gentlemens leave, Religion is neither the,
Product of Spleen, nor the Fruit of Imagination; it is
neither a Statift's Engine, nor a Parfon's Invention; it
came from Heaven, and was planted on Earth by Chriſt
and his Apoſtles; and we muft either believe it here, or
burn for our Infidelity hereafter; He that believeth, and
is baptized, ſhall be faved; but he that believeth not,
Shall be damned.
Theſe are our Saviour's Words, and they will be re-
ceived, I fuppofe, by Chriftians. The Apoftle delivers
the fame Doctrine; Without Faith it is impoffible to please
God. Now without doubt God made Heaven for his
Friends, not for his Enemies; for thoſe who pleaſe him,
not for thoſe who contemn his Laws, and fport with his
moft peremptory Commands. Again, St. Augustine tells
us, *Ubi vera fides non eft, nec poteft vera effe juftitia.
But it's Frenzy and Illufion to Excefs, to fancy, that a
Man not truly juft, will be admitted into the eternal Joys.
of Heaven; it follows therefore very juftly that Salvation
is a Chimæra out of Chrift's Church, and by confequence,
that all thofe libertine Gentlemen, who play with Reli-
gion, and fport with Faith, are in a fair way to deplore
eternally their factious Impiety. I would have 'em ſpend
fome cool Thoughts on the Matter, and confider feri-
oufly, whether a petty, brutifh, nay, atheiſtical Satis-
faction can countervail a perpetual Mifery, and whether
they would not give more pregnant Proofs of Wit and
Judgment by enquiring after the true Religion, than by
lampooning all.
* De Scr. Dei in monte. C. 19.
Tell
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
4I
Tell me not you lead a moral Life, you walk by the
Light of Reaſon, and frame your Conduct by its invio-
lable Maxims; that you neither curfe God, nor wrong
your Neighbour; that you neither invade his Lands, nor
impeach his Reputation; that your Hands are not dipt in
Blood, nor your Tongue in Gall; that you defilé no
Man's Bed, nor encroach on his Property. Thefe Nega-
tives will never unlock Heaven's Gate, nor place you in
Blifs. Faith muft carry a Torch before you, otherwiſe
you'll ramble in the Dark, and wander in Error, till the
Flames of Hell diſplay the Miftake, and at the fame time
puniſh it.
But do you think, Neander, that thofe Men, who talk
down Religion, and cry up Morals, are at the Bottom
greater Friends to the one, than to the other? Alas! no;
their Actions are as libertine as their Belief; and if we
may judge by Appearance, they have no more of the
Man, than of the Chriſtian. For whoever ſaw theſe
mighty Advocates of Morals, theſe Affertors of Regula-
rity, ever ſtand up in Defence of Vertue, but when they
actually condemn'd it in Practice? I have often indéed
heard your qualified Debauchees talk' moft feelingly of
Sobriety over Champaigne, of Temperance at a full Ta-
ble: And I once met with a Proftitute, that extolled
Chaſtity like a Veftal. You must therefore, when you
meet with Infidel Moralifts, ſuppoſe they only commend
Vertue in jeft, but practiſe Vice in good earneft; and that
they are as far from enflaving their Paffions to the Laws of
Nature, as their Judgments to Divine Revelation.
Take not Religion upon Credit; there are in the
World Teachers of falfe Tenets, as well as Coiners of
falfe Crowns; and as you bring theſe to the Touch-
Stone, fo you muſt bring thoſe. To believe, you know
not why, is rather Stupidity than Faith; it is to unfence
Religion, to lay it open to the weakeft Affault of Schifm
and Herefy. In fine, to believe nothing is Madneſs, and
to believe any thing Folly. He is truly happy who walks
between theſe two Extreams, and neither believes too
much nor too little,
X.
The Religion you muſt embrace, is that which Chrift
revealed, and his Apoftles preached: This may be de-
nied
I
42
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
nied by a few or Turk, but not by a Chriftian. For, be-
ing God, he had Authority to command, and we have
an indifpenfible Obligation to obey; nor could he fet up
Impoſtures for Truths, or impofe Falfehoods under the
Mask of Divine Revelation. The Apoftles indeed were
Men, but inſpired from Heaven, and confequently no
more ſubject to Error, than the Divine Spirit that gave
his Oracles through the Organs of their Mouths.
This is a Summary of your Duty to God: That you
owe your Neighbour ſhall be the Subject of our next En-
tertainment. In the mean time you muſt be my Gueſt
to Day, pray refuſe me not the Favour.
Nean. I am at your Command; but let me defire you
to give me thefe excellent Documents in Writing;
they are too long to be remembered, and too uſeful to be
forgot.
Eufeb. I'll comply with your Defires, and at my Lei-
fure fet down what I can call to Memory.
66
DIALOGUE IV.
Whether Gentlemen are obliged to practife Vertue.
Sc
Carce was Dinner ended, but in came Eleutherius,
an Acquaintance of Eufebius; he was a Gentleman
"of a worthy Family, and of an Eſtate fuitable to his
"Character. Liberty and Pleafure were his darling
"Paffions; and I have heard him fay, he had rather
"want Grace than Wit, although he had no great Pro-
"vifion of either. He could not endure to be crowded
"with Vifits, or yoaked in Ceremony, becauſe fuch
"Formalities entrenched on Freedom, and put Liberty
"under Conſtraint; and for this Reaſon he never went to
"Court: For he compared Courtiers to ſo many Slaves,
"who move in Fetters, and live for others, not for them-
"felves; fometimes to work'd-down Labourers, more fit
"for Sleep than Pleaſure. In fine, he valued Eafe above
"Greatnefs, and Senfuality above Confcience, fo that his
"Name jumpt with his Humour; his Religion was of
"the laſt Edition, that is, Puritanism cut on Independency,
“and garniſh'd with an Oleo of upftart Novelties; he
"afcribed
:
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
43
"afcribed Man's Juftification to Faith alone, and there-
"fore condemned good Works as heterodox, as En-
"croachments upon Chriftian Liberty, and a Grievance
<<
to the Subject: Hence he hated Humiliation-Days,
❝and could never be perfuaded to faſt till he had regaled
"his Appetite. One Day he moved that the Statute de
"comburendo Hæretico might be revived and executed
"upon a Perſon for faying that eftote perfecti was ad-
"dreffed to Gentlemen; he looked upon it as a ſcan-
"dalum magnatum, and a clipping of the Privilege of
"Peerage. In fine, he was of Opinion, that Fancy was
"the only Rule of a Gentleman's Faith, and Pleaſure
that of his Actions.
Eufeb. Welcome, Eleutherius, pray fit down. Why
fo thoughtful and recollected? I fuppofe you are come
from your Devotions, Morning-Service is juft done.
Eleuthe. Why, Man, this is not the Lord's-Day.
Eufeb. Pray of what Religion are you?
Eleuthe. I am a Chriftan.
Eufeb. Ah, that may be, but of what Perfuafion? For
that Notion reaches a great way: There are Chriftian
Papifts, Chriftian Turks, and Chriftian Infidels; and then
there are Proteftants, and True Proteftants, and in fine,
there are Et cætera Chriftians, with which of thefe do
you convene ?
Eleuthe. With all, and with neither; that is, I have
drawn off the Spirits from each, and left the Caput mor-
tuum behind; in fhort, my Religion is new and modiſh:
'Tis grinned at indeed by fome, but practifed by the
greater and more witty part of the Nobility; 'tis Refor-
mation upon Reformation.
Eufeb. Metal upon Metal is a Soleciſm in Heraldry,
and why not Reformation upon Reformation in Religi-
on? But under Favour, if general Practice hits right with
the Precepts of your Religion, they are fly-blown; and
were I difpofed to doggrel it, I would only glofs upon
that Text. Follow my Counſel, Eleutherius; fay com-
mon Practice claſhes with its Maxims, or elfe you'll give
too great an Advantage to Criticiſm and Enquiry. For
if what you ſay be true, your Religion is without Fence,
without Rampart, and a little Reafon will batter the
whole Fabrick about your Ears; for when the Queftion.
is about Good and Evil, Practice ftands on the wrong fide.
But,
44
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
But, Sir, let us wave Difpute; fuppofing you are a
Chriſtian, what Harm is there in going to Church on a
Feria?
Eleuthe. What Harm is it to fink my Character, and
fling up my Charter?
Eufeb. Why, Praying and good Works come not with-
in the Statute of Treafon, I hope.
Eleuthe. Take care, you may flip into a Præmunire
before you are aware. Liberty and Property are edged
Tools now-a-days, few have meddled with them with-
out a Scar.
Eufeb. You are in a very merry Vein to Day, but me-
thinks the Subject bears no Raillery. Prithee (Drollery
apart) what do you mean by Liberty, Property, and
Præmunire?
Eleuthe. In fhort then, Gentlemen are not tied up to
Works of Supererogation, to Vertue, Perfection, and
twenty other Niceties; all the World knows that Chri-
ftians are free-born Subjects, exempt from the Bondage
of Precept and Ceremony. They date their Liberty from
the Moment of their Baptifm; and a learned Clerk, let
me tell you, was of Opinion, that the very Ten Com-
mandments expired with the Synagogue. Now, Sir, to
bring Gentlemen upon their Knees to incumber their Li-
berty with Laws and Statutes, is to touch them in the
moft fenfible Part. Englishmen will ſtand for their Birth-
right, and not give up tamely fo confiderable a Privilege;
and if you ftrive to wreft it out of their Hands, you may
perchance repent of the Attempt. You will have to do
with Numbers and Power: And though Truth ftands for
you, if Force fides against you, the Field will be loft.
Eufeb. This is Liberty indeed with a Vengeance. Na-
ture at this rate, and Senfuality, are let loofe, and have
a large Field to walk in. Becauſe Chrift came into the
World to baniſh Sin, Man may open the Gate to all
Abominations; he may break through all the Barriers of
Nature, Reaſon and Religion; he may cozen and mur-
der not only with Impunity, but alfo with Devotion. I
would have you draw up a Petition againſt Goals, Pillo-
ries, and Execution; nay, it would not be amifs at your
next Coffee-Houfe Affembly, to vote down Hell alfo as
a Grievance to the free-born Subjects of the Covenant.
Eleuthe
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
45
Eleuthe. Nay, indeed the Parfon ſtrain'd the Point, he
has over-fhot the Truth and himſelf too; but I'll main-
tain at leaſt that Gentlemen are not bound up to what Di-
vines call Vertue and Perfection; thefe Fooleries look
well enough in a canonical Caffock, or a Clergyman's
Drefs, but in Scarlet and Gold Lace they make a lean
Figure, they walk in Embroidery, as little David did in
Saul's Armour, very aukwardly, and rather furniſh Mat-
ter for Diverſion, than for Edification.
Eufeb. Though this Thefis has lefs of Scandal than the
former, I am fure it is equally falfe. For tell me, have
not our Gentlemen and topping Mortals received from
the liberal Hands of God, a far greater Allowance of
Favour, than Vulgars?
Eleuthe. No doubt of it; Nobility it felf is a Favour
of the firſt Claſs; it raiſes a Man above the Crowd and
Smoak of the World, it entitles him to Honour and Re-
fpect; the Prince moves here below, as the Sun does a-
bove in Glory and Magnificence; Gentlemen are Stars
placed above him for Pomp, State, and Ornament; befides,
Gentlemens Bodies have a finer Texture of Parts, than
thofe of a meaner Condition; their Complexion is more
bright and ſprightly; their Air more polite; in fine, Na-
ture is like Carvers, who flubber over thoſe Pieces that
are condernn'd to Obfcurity, and poliſh thoſe with the
laft Exactneſs that ftand in View.
Eufeb. You argue right for me; but then you confute
your own Thefis. For if Gentlemen have received more
Favours than the Peafant, certainly they are obliged in
Honour, as well as Duty, to make a more ample Return
of Gratitude. For, fuppofe a Prince has raiſed one
from the Degree of a Page to that of a Lord or Captain
of his Guards, that he has at the fame time flung in
12000 l. per Ann. to fupport the Title, and fet off his Dig-
nity; has not this new-dated Peer a more ſtrait Obli-
gation to ferve his Royal Benefactor, than a Dray-man,
that only enjoys the common Protection of the Govern-
ment? This is our Cafe to a Hair. You grant on the
one Hand, that ſuch a Man lies not only under the com-
mon and fundamental Duties of a Subject, but alſo un-
der the additional Ties of Gratitude to ferve his Prince ;
and on the other you confefs, that God has with greater
Profuſeneſs pour'd out his Liberality on Gentlemen, than
on
46 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
on Clowns and Tradefmen; why then is not their Obli-
gation greater to ſerve him?
Eleuthe. Their very Station and Rank is their Patent
of Exemption; in fhort, they have no time: For you
muſt allow a Gentleman ten Hours for Sleep, a Quarter
for his private Affairs; two Hours to faunter from the
Stable to the Dog-kennel; three for Dinner, and as ma-
ny for Supper; almoft fix for the Tavern, Coffee-houfe,
and Theatre: So that you may fee here remains no time
for God and Vertue.
Eufeb. Your Arithmetick over-balances your Chriftia-
nity. Is it not ridiculous, I mean impious, to take the
length of a Man's Duty by his Practice, to argue from
Fact to Right. and Subpæne Tranfgreffion to witneſs for
the Breach of a Precept? You have carv'd out a Gentle-
man's Time exactly enough, but not juftly; and I doubt
much whether he will ſtand to it in the next World, tho'
he may perchance in this. God bids 'em watch and pray
in the Goſpel; and St. Paul in his Epiftle recommends
Sobriety and Chaſtity. Now I think Men feldom watch
or pray while they fleep, and as feldom learn Sobriety in
Taverns, or Chaſtity in Brothels, or Morality in profligate
Converfation; tell me then not what Gentlemen do,
but what they ſhould do, which in fhort is this: As they
have but one Affair to manage, which is their Salva-
tion, fo all their Thoughts and Actions must look that
way; if any Motion warps from this Center, they fwerve
from their Duty; they muſt baulk Appetite, not gratify
it; and either ftifle Paffions or fetter them; they muft
be humble in Proſperity, and great in Adverfity; i. e. they
muft bear that with Moderation, this without Clamours
or Impatience; they muft rather forfeit their Lives than
Confcience, and poftpone Pleaſure to their Duty. Theſe
are the Offices of Gentlemen: For Men were plac'd in
this World to cultivate Vertue, and to enjoy the Fruit
of it hereafter; though they labour and ſweat from the
Cradle to the Coffin, to advance their temporal Concerns,
they forward their Mifery, and interrupt their Happi-
nefs; they are Strangers to themſelves, and only Gueſts
in their own Houfe, they drudge continually, yet do
nothing, and are laborioufly idle. Tell me not then of
Sleep, Vifits, Horfes, Hounds, Taverns, and Play-houſes;
thefe Things, with fome grains of Allowance, may be per-
mitted
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
47
mitted Gentlemen as Amuſements and Diverfions,but not
as Bufinefs; their Bufinefs, their grand Concern, and
their only Concern, is God's Service, and their Salva-
tion; and if they fquander the precious Moments of
Time he has afforded them, they abuſe the Gift and the
very end of their Creation.
Eleuthe. You are warm, methinks, and prefs very hard
on Quality; but I fuppofe you are only in the Vein of
Bantering, and intend to fhew how well you can manage
an ill Cauſe, and that Wit and Declamation can ſome-
times fupply the Place of Reafon and Argument; thou
art excellently qualified for the Pulpit; thou haft Words
and Invective at Command; prithee off with thy Jump,
and on with a Caffock; thou wilt run down Vice at an
unmerciful Rate, and talk Debauchery out of Counte-
nance; no Sin will ſtand thee, no Herefy affront thee;
but, by the by, Eufebius, you are fubject to flip as well
as your Neighbours; and fometimes your Paffion runs ſo
faft, that it diſtances your Reafon : For I think you grant
that the bare Obfervation of God's Commandments will
carry a Man to Heaven, what then have we to do with
your Works of Supererogation, Mortification, and Aufte-
rities? The very Word implies Counſel only, not a Pre-
cept, and by Confequence no Obligation.
Eufeb. I grant what you defire, but then I muft add,
that without theſe Works of Supererogation, as you call
'em, you'll never keep thoſe Commandments. You can't
hit a Mark unleſs you level higher. Gravity finks the
Arrow under the first Line of Direction in Spight of
the Impulſe. This is our Cafe, Nature draws towards
the Center, no less than Weight; 'tis wanton and liber-
tine, and loves to range in the Latitude of fenfual Plea-
fure, not within the Compaſs of Law and Regularity.
Now if you looſe the Rein, and give it the whole Line
of Duty to play in, 'twill break through that Reſtraint,
and carry you beyond it. For, let me tell you, Appe-
tite is not careffed into Duty, but beaten into it, and
Paffions are not to be tamed by Condefcendence. Like
the Mobile, the more Liberty you give 'em, the more
they ask; they muſt be dieted and brought low, other-
wife they'll fly in your Face. In fine, if you will not
have 'em ask what is unjuft, refufe 'em what is lawful;
befides, Indulgence arms 'em, it gives 'em a Profpect of
their
48
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
their own Power and your Weakneſs; and then if each
fingle one be a Match for a Giant, who can reſiſt the
whole Band drawn up in a Body? You boggle at great
Sins, but ſwallow little ones without Scruple or Remorſe;
you fhut your Ears againſt the inward Calls of God's
Grace, and ſtruggle with his Inſpirations. All theſe things
are petty Quarrels with your Maker; they are Contempts
and Difrepects, though not Treafons. In fine, they are
Sins. Now, whofoever dare look a little Sin in the Face
without Horror, will foon commit great ones with
Pleaſure; for they are both really Sins, and muſt be re-
pented of; the Difference lies only in the Greatneſs on the
one fide, and in the Littleneſs on the other. When Ma-
rius was ſent againſt the Cimbri, his Soldiers durft not
look the Enemy in the Face; their gygantick Stature
and barbarous Afpect cow'd the Roman Bravery: But
when they had beheld theſe barbarous Germans three
Days from the Camp, their Spirits revived, and their
congealed Courage began to circulate through every
Vein; they not only fought 'em, but overcame. Juſt fo
a Man educated in the Principles of Chriftianity, can-
not think of the Breach of a Commandment, without
Trembling, without Convulfions; but then he flides into
trivial Commiffions: At firſt, a Damparifes over his Sto-
mach, he is crop-fick, uneafy, he continues on his Courſe,
and Confcience begins to flumber; its Réproaches are
faint, its Strings fcarce perceptible; Cuftom flings in a
Doſe of Opium, and then it falls into a Lethargy; and
when Man is once arrived at this Pitch of Infenfibility,
he boggles at no Impiety; he breaks through God's Com-
mands, and will foon ftorm Hell to fatisfy Paffion.
From whence comes this, but from your Principle, That
Gentlemen are not tied up to Vertue, Patience, Humility?
For did fuch Gentlemen mortify Appetite, and crufh
Senfuality in the Cradle; did they place all their Satis-
factions in an abfolute Obedience to their Maker's Will,
and never allow Nature and Senfes any Play-days, they
would not have broke open the Inclofures of Duty, nor
left all in common to Licentioufnefs; they had never
made their Inclinations, their Law, nor Pleafures the fole
Boundaries of their Actions: For that Aphorifm is moſt
true, Nemo repente fit turpiffimus, no Body jumps into
ill on the fuddain; Negligence and Diftruft weaken God's
Com-
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
49
Commands, before we venture to break 'em. Now fup-
pofing all Men are oblig'd to Vertue, it naturally follows,
that this Obligation lies harder on Gentlemen.
First, They lie more in the reach of Temptation,
than People of an inferior Rank; more in view of the
Enemy; their Circumftances then require Vigilance;
they muſt ſtand Centinel, and place Out-Guards for
fear of a Surprize. A poor Man that can ſcarce furniſh
Neceffaries for Life, has neither the Means nor Thought
to pamper Luxury; Nature is work'd down, and ra-
ther cries out for Reft than Pleaſure. In fhort, he can
ſcarce Live, much leſs Riot; Pride can't come at him,
it muſt paſs through Muck, Smoak, and Penury to reach
him. Now this Vice is too high ftomach'd to ſtoop fo
low, it loves not to lie on a Dunghil, or fleep on Straw;
and a Man that daily fees and feels nothing but Want
and Mifery, must be mad before he can be proud, or
grow vain upon any fond Preſumption: Befides, Appetite
is fo kept under by Neceffity, that it can ſcarce crawl;
its very Defires reach no higher than Bread to fubdue
Hunger; and Clothes to fence off Cold, and veil Naked-
nefs. No ill Object paffes through the poor Man's Eyes
into the Heart; they draw in no Species, but thoſe of
Beafts and Dunghils; fo that whatever they behold is
either rebating or innocent. In fine, they are below
Temptation; and like a fmall difmantled Village, not
worth feizing. But Gentlemen ftand the Mark of every
Temptation, the World, the Flefh, and the Devil, feem
to have enter'd a tripple League against them; they are
mark'd out for a Slaughter and Sacrifice, 'they live in
the midst of Plague and Infection, and can't take one
Step without meeting Danger, nor breathe without ta-
king in Contagion; the World fawns on them; Paffions
revolt, and the Devil cafts Nets to enínare them; fine
Sights debauch the Eyes, Mufick the Ears, Ragou's the
Tafte, Perfumes the Smell, and falfe Principles the Un-
derſtanding; Wine heats the Paffions, and Delicacies put
'em in a Ferment; fo that a Gentleman is belet on all
fides; each Vice batters his Conftancy, and affaults his
Innocence. Now, what way can he come off with Vi-
ctory? He muft raiſe Counter-Batteries, and difmount
thofe Engines that play upon him; he must make a Sally,
and face Pride with Humility, Luxury with Continency,
Ε
Intem-
50
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Intemperance with Sobriety, and Love of Pleaſure with
that of Duty: In Morals as well as Phyficks Contraries
alone defeat Contraries. Does not Nature tell us, as
well as Experience, that when the Attack is brisk and
vigorous the Place will infallibly be taken, unleſs the
Defendant beat off Force with Force, and tire out the
Affailants with Refolution?
Secondly, The Faults of the bafer fort of Mankind are
perfonal. They never fpread; like an Apoplexy they
ftrike but one; the Mifchief ends where it begun, and
one Life fatisfies its Fury. But Gentlemen's Crimes be-
come univerfal, like the Plague, they fweep away whole
Families, and drive Mortality and Defolation before 'em.
For the vulgar are an apifh Generation, they live on Imi-
tation, and are carried away by the Example of great
ones, as the inferior Orbs by the Motion of the fuperi-
or; fo that if a Mafter throws his Vices among the
Family, they are foon pick'd up, and wore as Robes of
Honour. For Servants that know their Fortune depends
on a Maſter's Smile, will not eafily diſpleaſe him. They
eye every Motion, ſtudy his Humour, and ſtrike in with
his Inclination: They applaud his Extravagancies firſt,
and then adopt them by Practice. And thus by this abo-
minable Complaifance, Slaves oftentimes work them-
felves into their Maſter's Favours, and not ſeldom into
their Eftates and Dignities. And then when Vice is fo
extravagantly rewarded, both with Eftate and Pleaſure,
when a Man can debauch himſelf into a competent For-
tune, without other Charges or Expence, than that of
Conſcience, 'tis odds he'll venture on the Enterprize.
Befides, Sins fupported with Efcutcheon and Title pafs
for Grandeur: Nay, and Vice at the Head of a pompous
Retinue is often mistaken for Vertue. For the Vulgar
judge by the Eyes, not by Reafon; and whatever ap-
pears great, they conclude good, as if Glittering and Va-
lue were fynonymous. Who has fpread this Illufion
through the whole Mafs of thefe Morals, but the Nobi-
lity? Gentlemen therefore, befides the direct Obligati-
on of Obedience they owe to God, lie under a col-
lateral one of Charity towards their Neighbours, and
by Confequence, their Failings carry Scandal along with
'em, as well as Difobedience; fo that every Crime they
commit may be call'd Legion.
Eleuthe
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
S
Eleuthe. 'Tis time to take a little Breath, you'll over-
heat your Lungs, and difcompofe your Fabrick. But pray,
Sir, under favour, are Maſters Gaolers éx officio? or muſt
they be Bail for their Servants good Behaviour?
Eufeb. No, but then they must not be their Murderers.
Eleuthe. Why, I fuppofe you don't intend to caſt ſcan-
dalous Reflections upon the whole Progeny of Maſters?
Have a care, they may bring an Action of Calumny a-
gainſt you; 'tis dangerous for a fingle Man to engage
with Numbers.
Eufeb. Let us not difpute of the Name, I fay you fſtab
Souls; if this be not Murder, 'tis fomething worfe; and
if our Laws take no Cognizance of it, God's do.
Eleuthe. What, Maſters muſt play the Chaplains to
their Family, as N. N. did; they muft on with the
Surplice and Tippet, and preach to the Text of Fifthly,
Beloved, is it fo? Is our Brother gone aftray? Yea verily
to Perdition.
Eufeb. Laughing and Drollery are great Reliefs at a
non-plus. I have often feen fome in Converfation, when
their Stock of Reafon was laid out, extream laviſh of
ſuch Impertinencies. Leave the Pulpit to the Parfon, but
preach within your own Walls; at leaft by Example:
This is more perfuafive than Words; 'tis within your
Sphere, within the Liberties of your Office and Obliga-
tion too; or at leaſt fhrowd your own Abominations un-
der a Cover; let them not take Air, they'll fit more
eafy on your Confcience, and not entangle others; if
you'll not couple together the Office of Chaplain and
Mafter, don't that of Gentleman and Devil.
Eleuthe. I perceive by your Difcourfe, that Gentlemen
will not gain your good Will, unleſs they put on Fetters,
and fee their Keepers. Slavery is not fo valuable a Bleſ-
fing, as to be purchas'd. People often buy Liberty, but
feldom Chains. I muft ftand forfooth upon Refervedneſs
and Ceremony with my Lacquey or Groom, put a Re-
ſtraint upon my Freedom, mure up my Mouth, and ftifle
Mirth, or elſe cry out, Jack, under Favour! Or, pray be
not fcandaliz'd! Is not this to put Jack in the Coach, and
perch my Lord behind it? To place Tom in the Parlour,
and bind over Right Worshipful to the Kitchen? In fhort,
Speculation and Theory may approve your Morals, Pra-
Atice cannot. We hire Men's Service, not their Devotion,
£ 2
Eufeb.
52
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Eufeb. Very well, according to your Cafuiſtry, Prece…
dents vie the Standard of Right, and then in the fame
Figure and Mode it follows plain enough, that becauſe
Men damn themfelves, they do it juftly, and we are e-
ternally miſerable by Law. The Confequence is logical
enough, but not too Chriftian. However, if Hell have
fuch wonderful Charms, run into its Embraces: But ré-
member there is no return; and look before you jump,
elſe you may condemn your Folly, but not amend it.
quick Refolutions are foon repented.
Eleutherius arofe in a Heat, and walked about the Room,
his Pulfe beat high, and one might read the Trouble of his
Mind on his Cheeks.
Eleuthe. I love not thofe fevere Morals, they cow the
Spirits, disjoint Converfation, and clog Freedom. Spleen
begot 'em, Melancholy nurs'd 'em, and Envy recom-
mended them to the Pulpit. For I find thofe Men are
the great Companions of Vertue, that are not able to
be vicious; and thofe declaim moft againſt Pleaſure
that are part enjoying it. Yet thefe falfe Devotees will
needs impofe on Gentlemen, and fet their Impotence as
a Law for others.
Eufeb. Look ye, there is no Harm done; you are ſtill
Maſter of your Practice, though neither of us can com-
mand Principles; theſe come not within the Precinct of
your Liberty; are neither ſubject to Change or Alterati-
on; Semper idem is their Motto. In a Word, Sir, I
mould not my Difcourfe to an Humorift's Inclination, but
to the Rules of Truth. Judgment and Conviction move
my Tongue, not Adulation. If I have impoſed on you,
unmask the Impofture; if not, let good Humour run in
its ordinary Channel. To ftrike in with a Patient's Dif-
eafe, is not Kindnefs but Cruelty; and I believe you
had rather be eafed of a Diftemper with Coloquintida,
than to be ſent into the next World with Juleps.
Eleuthe. It's true, but I would not be debarred of El-
bow-Room, not willingly fit in the Stocks, or be awed
by a Groom or a Foot-Boy. I would not bid Defiance
to Conſcience, nor War upon the Almighty. I am wil-
ling to condefcend to an Agreement upon honourable
Conditions.
Eufeb. What? Will you ftand upon Terms with your
Maker and Article with your Creator? id eft, you'll
Vouchfafe
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
53
vouchfafe to be his Servant, provided he takes off all
Reftraint from Nature, and give you leave to live at
Diſcretion? Fye, fye, Eleutherius, you are too weak to
grapple with the Omnipotent, when he commands you
must obey.
Eleuthe. Right, when he commands; the Queſtion is
not de jure, but de facto, not whether he can command
thefe Trifles you fpoke of, but whether he has commanded
'em. For in fhort, we bawl upon the Topick of Vertue
and Vice, and yet we ſcarce know what we wou'd be at.
For what one Country approves another condemns; and
what deferves the Halter under one Elevation merits a Pa-
tent under another. The Lacedemonians rank'd fubtil
Thefts among the Vertues, and punifla'd your clumfy
Lurchers; as if the Sin confifted in the Diſcovery alone.
In other Places it's an Act of Piety to feed heartily on a
deceaſed Relation, and an unpardonable Crime to de-
liver a Father over to the Mercy of Worms.
Eufeb. What do you mean?
Eleuthe. I mean, that Good and Evil, Right and
Wrong, Vertue and Vice, lie much in Fancy and Educa-
tion; that Policy and Cuſtom coin theſe different Noti-
ons. Why elfe is the fame thing Good under one Meri-
dian, and Evil under another? Popery in Italy, France,
and Spain, is voted orthodox; in England heterodox.
Beyond Seas Fafting and Celibacy are meritorious, in Eng-
land Celibacy is fuperftitious, vain and hypocritical.
So that in Conclufion, Good and Bad vary with the Cli-
mate, and by Confequence take their Being from Imagi-
nation, Intereft, or Civil Authority, unleſs you'll fay
that all Mens Reafon is not of the fame Species.
Eufeb. No doubt, you have harangued excellently on
the Text of Libertinifm; why don't you confound all
Religions, as well as all Actions?
Nean. I believe he does: For if Vertue and Vice differ
only in Name, Faith and Infidelity may eafily be recon-
ciled, and then Mahometifm may be put in as good Pre-
tenfions to Revelation as Chriſtianity.
Eufeb. Prithee Eleutherius, talk no more of Faith, of
Church, of Religion; thy Breath ſmells rank enough to
fly-blow Truth, and to taint the Goſpel.
Eleuthe. Adieu; my Bufinefs calls upon me. Pray let
our next Converfation be more palatable.
E 3
Eufeb.
54
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed,
(
Eufeb. By all means; we'll talk of Wine, Women, and
Venfon Pafties; thefe are palatable Topicks for Epicures
and Scavingers, but not for Gentlemen and Chriftians.
Eleuthe. Gentlemen, your humble Servant.
Eufeb. You fee, Neander, Eleutherius's univerſal Pra-
&tice, drawn up in fhort; can Blindneſs, 'Stupidity and
Madneſs foar higher? Like crowned Victims theſe un-
happy Creatures dance and fing under the fatal Stroke
without Concern, without Senſe of the Danger! They
laugh and droll one Moment, and begin the next to weep
eternally. Oh Frenzy! They poft in full Speed in the
broad Way to Perdition, and will needs be told they ſpur
to Heaven! What Notions have theſe Men of the other
World, who live fo madly in this! Surely they fancy the
Soul flaſhes into nothing, when the Body falls into Duft,
and that they die like Beaſts, they live fo like 'em. Yet
theſe are your well-bred Gentlemen, your Men of Parts
and Merit: And indeed one must have extraordinary
Breeding to compliment our felves into Hell; one
must be witty to Madnefs, and prudent to Folly, to con
trive our eternal Mifery fo efficacioufly. But feeing they
will not profit by our Inftructions, let us, Neander, by
their Stupidity: We'll leave them to themſelves; their
Vices can't damn us; both Glory and Puniſhment are
perfonal; we have made a Day's Work of it; to mor-
row we'll profecute the fame Subject.
C6
«6
DIALOGUE V.
A Profecution of the fame Subject.
FLeutherius at his return to his Lodging, grew un-
eafy and fullen; the late Difcourfe had alarm'd
his Fears, and awak'd his Confcience, which began in
૨ good Earnest to call him to an Account, and flung be-
"fore him an ungrateful Journal of his Vices. The un-
"happy Gentleman was unacquainted with fuch Re-
proaches, he fcarce understood the Language, and
"found in himſelf no Inclination to learn it. He thought
" he had treated Conſcience ſo ill, it would not have the
❝ Confidence to return; and indeed for ſeveral Years he
heard no News of it; which made him fufpect it was
66 deceafed
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
55
“deceaſed, or had taken a Turn to the Indies for Di-
66 verfion.
"So that he knew not what to make of theſe unuſual
Gripes, of thefe Aches of the Stomach. At firſt he ſu-
"fpected Eufebius had Intelligence with Satan; and cried
out for a Divine and Exorcifm. For why, faid he, can't
"Potions conjure up from Hell the Devil of Fear, as well
“as Philtrums raife the Fury of Love? But he foon con-
"fefs'd, the Devil's Bufinefs was to deaden Remorfe,
66 not to quicken it; to gag Confcience, not to provoke
"it into Clamours and Reproaches.
"Though Eufebius had argued down the Gentleman's
"Underſtanding, he made no Impreffion upon his Will;
"though this Faculty be really blind, it affects Com-
"mand, and feldom fails to ufurp the Government en-
"tail'd on Reaſon, whenever it's feconded by the Re-
"bellious Mobile of unruly Paffions. Hence it comes
"that our Judgment generally ſtrikes in with our Incli-
“nation, and ſeldom pronounces againſt our Intereſt
"and Pleaſure.
"Eleutherius had been train'd up in the wild Princi-
"ples of Libertiniſm; and having tafted the Sweetneſs
of an uncontrouled Liberty, he found in himſelf no
"Propenfion to enflave his Reaſon to the Rules of Reve-
lation, nor his Practice to the Laws of Morality;
"wherefore he brib'd his Will to over-reach his Reaſon,
.
and very eagerly helpt on the Impoſture. His Endea-
"vour proved fuccefsful; for in Spight of Conviction
"he queſtioned the Arguments of Eufebius, and laid his
"late Defeat on the Weakneſs of his own Abilities, not
"on the Force of his Adverfary's Reafons: And now
"his Conſcience began to ſpeak in a lower Tone; it
"upbraided him with a fainter Accent and a kind of
"Refpect; nor did he doubt but a fecond Conference
"would fend it again beyond Sea; but he would not
leave the Caufe to his own Management, but pitch.
66 upon his Friends, a Barifter and a Courtier, whom he
"ſuppoſed to be mighty Wits, becauſe they laught at
Piety to Scandal. The Defign was laid handfomely,
and had a promiſing Afpect; for though the Lawyer
"managed his ill Tongue, the other was excellent at
his Weapon, and fo might puſh on the Cauſe with a
fteel Point, as well as with a brazen Forehead.
Eleuthe-
E 4
56
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
"Eleutherius next Morning defired Eufebius to favour
" him with a Vifit in the Evening; he promiſed to meet
"him at his Houfe, and put off Neander till the next
"Day. He went at the Time appointed, but found
"only Eleutherius's Lady at home. She received Eufe-
"bius with Civility, and defired him to expect her Hus-
"band's Return.
"She was a Lady of the Town, an Admirer of Eafe,
" and a mortal Enemy to Conſtraint. One Part of the
"Morning fhe lay in her Bed, the other fhe fat at her
"Toilet. She fſpent the Evening either in receiving Vi-
"fits, or returning 'em. Her Wit run before her Judg-
❝ment, but her Tongue diftanc'd both. In fine, her
"Thoughts foared not an Inch above Earth. She was
"wedded to the World, enchanted with the prefent,
and unmindful of the future.
"After fome ufual Civilities, pray Sir, faid fhe,
"give me leave to enquire what pafs'd between my Hus-
band and you Yeſterday, he return'd in Diſorder; I
4. hope there was no Blood drawn.
Eufeb. None: My Duelling-Days, Madam, are paſt,
my Sword has flept fome Years in the Scabbard, and
nothing but an extraordinary Occafion fhall releaſe it
from that Confinement.
Lady. Perchance, you bled his Pocket; Bleeding is
fenfible to fome Conftitutions in that Vein; and I have
feen Perſons who would let out feven Ounces of Blood
with fewer Grimaces, than one of Silver. And indeed
Eleutherius is of this Humour, his Money and Patience
go together.
Eufeb. We paft the Afternoon in Diſcourſe, not in
Play, and I fuppofe he took Pet becauſe we could not a-
gree upon the Point in Queſtion.
Lady. You furprize me, Sir; he and I play at croſs
Queſtions every Day; nay, we feldom are of the fame
Opinion: Yet you would take him for a Dove without
Gall, without Paffion, yea without Senfe, he bears my
Humour fo tamely: Certainly you diſcuſs'd a Matter of
Importance, to talk him into fuch an extraordinary Di-
ftemper. May I be fo rude, as to ask you the Subject of
your Converſation?
Eufeb. Madam, the Subject was, Whether the Gentry
be not obliged to practife Chriftian Vertues; and whether
this
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
57
this Precept, be perfect, falls not as heavy on Lords and
Ladies, as on Valets de Chambres and Waiting Women?
Eleutherius maintained the Non-obligation, and treated
me with Heat and Paffion, becauſe I would not give up
the Goſpel to eſpouſe his Error.
Lady. Indeed, Sir, I do not enter into Men's Concerns,
but I am of Opinion, that Precept reaches not our Sex.
Our Conftitution is delicate, foft, and unattempting, more
fit for Eafe than Labour, and more inclinable to Pleaſure
than Pain. Befides, Liberty is our Favourite, and Con-
ftraint our mortal Enemy. The very Name of a Precept
chills our Blood, and the Obligation of a Command is
an invincible Temptation to tranfgrefs it. God therefore
feeing our Nature unapt for Burden, cannot furely over-
charge it with Prohibitions or Commands.
Eufeb. But I fuppofe, Madam, you have fome Preten-
fions for Heaven; you hope to enjoy God in the next
World, as well as his Creatures in this.
Lady. I'll endeavour to be happy here, and hope to be
fo hereafter. Surely, Sir, you don't take me for a Japo-
neſe without Soul, without Expectation of a future State?
Eufeb. No, Madam; but of too much Liberty of
Principle and Education too. But pray, how will you
find God unleſs you ſeek him? And how will you be re-
ceived into Heaven at your Death, unleſs you prepare
the Way to it by Vertue in your Life?
Our Saviour was pleafed to affure Mankind, that the
Way to Heaven is narrow and uneven: Perchance your
Ladyfhip has fallen upon a more convenient Road, and
intend to ride thither in a Coach and Six.
Lady. I feek his Will in the Bible, and his Prefence in
the Church.
Eufeb. But do you alſo in your Actions? Alas, Ma-
dam, the Knowledge of God's Commands will not fave
you; and I ſuppoſe many mourn in Hell, who fometimes
vifited the Church on a Sunday. You know, Madam,
the greateſt part of human Actions are of themſelves in-
different, and take their Value from the Intention: They
Inuſt be directed to God's Honour, to benefit our Souls;
and tend to his Glory, to forward our Salvation. May
I be ſo bold, as to entreat your Ladyfhip to favour me
with a brief Account of the Method you ufe in the Obla-
tion of your Actions?
Lady,
58
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Lady. Sir, I have not yet refolved on a Confeffor; I
own no fuch Obligation; and I am not diſpoſed to Works
of Supererogation; and therefore you muſt not expect
to found my Confcience, or to read my Thoughts.
Eufeb. I confefs, I am not quite furniſh'd for the Em-
ployment of Direction; and I had rather be condemn'd
to the driving of Lyons, than to be leading of Beata's.
But however ſeeing you are pleas'd to refuſe me the Fa-
your I demanded, you will let me try, at leaſt, if I can hit
on your method.
"Omnipotent Eternal God! for thy fake I intend to
"devote every Action of this Day to the World, with-
"out leaving one Thought for Heaven. My only Care
"fhall be to have none, and my only Study to avoid So-
"licitude, I'll glitter in Silks and Silver, and hang
"Lordfhips in my Ears; tho' my Sons become Laqueys,
66 my Daughters Chamber-maids, and my Husband fafts
❝out my Bravery in the King's-Bench or the Marshalsea.
"I'll want nothing at Table but Appetite, and rather
66 -run upon Tick, than keep within the Bounds of Fru-
"gality or Decency. After Dinner I'll either give or re-
"turn Vifits, and entertain the Company at the Expence
"of Modeſty and Charity. And in the Evening I'll
"drive to Hide-Park, and from thence ftrike off to a
"Ball or a Comedy. I'll pleaſe thoſe Gallants who pleaſe
66 me; and fmile on thoſe who extol my rare Perfecti-
• ons. All this, O God! I offer up, &c.
In good Earneft, Madam, dare you banter the Moft
High at this monftrous Rate? Would not fuch an Offer-
ing (like that of Cain) draw down a Curfe inſtead of
a Bleffing? What! do we feek God by trampling upon
his Commands; and merit Heaven by deferving Hell!
Or is not this a faithful Copy of your Practice? Is it not
your Study, your Bufinefs, your only Employment to
invent new Pleafures, and then to enjoy 'em? Now,
Madam, if you dare not offer up your Actions to God,
with what Face can you expect a Reward! Will he re-
compenfe Vice, and crown Impiety? Or have I mifre-
prefented your Conduct? Don't you rave after Pleaſure,
Vanity, and Gallantry.
Lady. What then?
Eufeb.St. Paul is very pofitive,That a Woman that liveth.
in Pleaſure, is dead while fhe liveth: She lives in Appea-
rance,
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
;
59
鳌
​rance, but is dead in Effect; fhe has indeed the Life of
Senfe, but not that of Grace, and by Confequence will
never enjoy that of Glory.
Lady. Pray, Sir, can't a Woman wear fine Apparel
without forfeiting her Robe of Innocence? Muft fhe rife
from a full Table to fuffer eternal Hunger? Muſt ſhe be
convey'd from the Play-Houſe into a Place of Torments?
Can't we be happy in the next World, unleſs we lie con-
tinually ſtretcht on Racks and Tortures in this?
Eufeb. Our Bleffed Saviour, Madam, fhall be heard,
if you pleaſe, upon this Point. Woe be to the Rich, to
those that feast, to thofe that laugh. You have, Madam,
a plentiful Eſtate, you regale your Appetite, you laugh
ſometimes at your Neighbour's Vertues, and as often at
the Expence of his Reputation: Do not therefore our Sa-
viour's Maledictions concern your Ladyfhip? And will
he receive you in the next World with an Euge, who
ſtrikes you with a tripple Ve in this?
Lady. You mifapply Scripture, to forge an Argument,
and play the declaiming Pedant: Is it a Sin to vifit the
Play-Houfe, to dance at a Ball, to have a comfortable
Eftate, a well-furniſh'd Table, and upon Occafion to
fmile?
Eufeb. I anſwer firft, though thefe Actions taken in
Retail are not criminal, yet taken in a Lump they can't
be innocent. For is it lawful, do you think, to confe-
crate all the Moments of your Life to Eafe and Pleaſure,
to carefs Paffion, and court Senfuality, to make Satis-
faction the Principle and End of all your Defires and
Endeavours, and not to give Vertue the very Place of an
Acceffory? What mean thofe Precepts of Self-Denial, of
fuffering, of mortifying the Sallies of the Flefh? Do they
ftand for Cyphers in the Gofpel, or were they made mere-
ly to tranfgrefs? Did the Son of God efpouſe our Nature
with all its Infirmities? Did he ſuffer Hunger, Perſecu-
tion, Whips and Death to purchaſe us Grace, to be
drawn from Hide-Park to the Theatre, from thence to
Balls and Feafts? Did we come into the World to dance
Minuets and Rigadoons? To fing Airs either amorous or
uncharitable?
Secondly, To fee a Play that is either innocent or in-
ftructive, is no Sin. But then to fee five hundred Plays,
that from the Prologue to the Epilogue, are either ſtuft
with
}
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
60
with Blafphemy, or larded with Atheiſm, or embroide-
red with Smut and Ribaldry, is a Sin. Can a Chriftian
with a fafe Confcience take Pleaſure in hearing the Name
of his Redeemer reviled, in ſeeing every part of his cru-
cified Saviour recrucified in horrid Oaths? Does a Spe-
tator of this fecond Crucifixion bear him more Reve-
rence than thoſe of his firft? Can you fee without a
Crime, Vertue brought every Evening to the Scaffold
either as a Criminal or a Harlequin to be puniſh'd or hoot-
ed at; and Vice tread the Stage firft with Pomp, and
then go off with Reward? Is it not a Sin to countenance
one? And who countenances thofe Scenes of Libertiniſm
but thoſe who pay the Players and applaud the Poet?
I do not fay it's a Crime precifely to dance fometimes
at a Ball, to fing an Aire alamode, to enjoy a fair Eſtate,
to fit at a full Table, or to wear a gaudy Mantua, if you
clear Accounts with Merchants and Taylors. But, Ma-
dam, theſe Amuſements are waited on by fo violent, ſo
provoking Tempations, that a Lady fmitten (to Tran-
fport and Dotage with thefe Vanities) will certainly fall
into many crying Offences, and by confequence draw
down upon her finful Head both the Maledictions and
Vengeance of our Bleffed Saviour.
For alas! if the moft watchful are fometimes ſurpri-
zed, are not thofe in Danger who fleep in the very Camp
of their Enemies? If thofe Chriftians can ſcarce over-
come the Allurements of Vice, who confine themſelves
to Retirement and Solitude; who check Appetite, who
balk Paffion, and crucify the Fleſh; will thoſe withſtand
the Attacks of Concupifcence, the Affaults of Satan, the
fawning Charms of the World, who inflame the Blood
with high feeding, who embolden Paffion by a criminal
Condefcendence, and foolifhly brave the Force of the
Devil's battering Engines without the Armour of Pray'r,
Humility, and Mortification?
Lady. Pray, Sir, be pleaſed to cut out fome Work for
Ladies; fet 'em a Task, regulate their Employment; I
fuppofe you'll remove us at leaft four Miles from London,
as the Government does, on Occafion, Papifts; or pro-
vide us with Wheels and Flax; or confine us to the Dairy
to make Cheese Cakes and Custards for the Family.
Eufeb. No, Madam, Town-Air is proper for your
Complexion. I am not for Removal into the Campaign,
nor
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
61
nor for gracing your Ladyfhip with the Title of Spin-
ftrefs; (tho' perchance the Law does ;) I am of no level-
ling Principles; Quality has Prerogatives, and I would
have you maintain 'em: But then if you are a Lady, you
are alſo a Chriſtian, and muſt make good the Character,
id eft, you muſt love thoſe very things you hate, and hate
thoſe you dote on: Eafe is your Darling, and Pleaſure
your Favourite Inclination; you muſt withdraw your
Affection from the one, and profecute the other with A-
verfion; you pamper your Body to Excefs, and careſs it
almoft to Idolatry; you must treat it like an Enemy; you
muft cut off all fuperfluous Sollicitude, and ftint it to
what is meerly neceflary; your Equipage and Furniture
muft anſwer your Rank, not your Vanity; and you muſt
meaſure 'em alſo by your Husband's Eftate, as well as by
his Quality; you muſt educate your Children in the
Fear of God, and give 'em Breeding fuitable to their
Extraction.
"Her Ladyfhip flew out into a Paffion; and had not
"Eleutherius returned in the Nick of Time, Eufebius
"might have found by Experience, that good Counſel
❝is oftentimes ill received: But Eleutherius's Prefence
"conjured the Tempeft. He begg'd Eufebius's Pardon
"for having diſappointed him, and told him ingenu-
"oufly, he came from beating the Drum, to invite two
«Volunteers to continue the Combat, but they refuſed
"to enter into Service.
66
"Pray Sir, replied Eufebius, let the Controverfy
"fleep, I have delivered my Opinion, if it jars with
yours, I cannot help it; you are your own Maſter.
"After fome indifferent Difcourfe, Eufebius returned
"home, and the next Day gave a Vifit to Neander, and
"profecuted his former Difcourfe thus.
DIALOGUE VI.
Eufebius inftructs Neander in the Duties that regard our
Enſeb. I
Neighbour.
Touched briefly at our laft Meeting the Branch
of Chriftian Duty that relates to God, I'll now
fum
62
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
fum up the moſt effential Parts of your Obligation to-
wards your Neighbour.
I.
Love your Neighbour as yourſelf, fays the Text; and
our blefled Redeemer affures us, that Love, Concord
and Union are the moſt diſtinguiſhing Qualities of a
Chriftian. The primitive Believers fet fuch a Value on
this darling Vertue of God made Man, that one Heart
feem'd to animate all their Bodies, and one Soul to go-
vern all their Actions: So that the very Heathens, who
hated their Religion, admired their Charity, and were.
forc'd to confefs, that nothing but a Divine Hand could
ſtrike that heavenly Concord from fuch a Difcord of Hu-
mours, Inclinations and Intereſts:
And left Self-Love might reftrain the Word Proxiums,
as the Jews confine it, to Countrymen, Friends and Re-
lations, our Saviour has been pleas'd to extend it to all
Mankind; fo that without Diftinction, without Limita-
tion, it takes in the whole Species. Whofoever bears the
Impreſs of God on his Forehead, though he carry that
of the Beaſt on his Heart, is ftill our Neighbour. No
diſtance of Place can cut off the Affinity, no length of
Time can wear out the Obligation.
Nor muſt this Divine Vertue only play on our Tongue,
or evaporate into genteel Difcourfes, or fmooth Compli-
ments wrapt up in Terms of Courtship; no, it muſt not
end in Grimace or Ceremony, but ſtand the Teſt of A-
ction; fine Proteftations of Kindneſs too too often veil
traiterous Defigns, and fugar'd Words poiſonous Inten-
tions: Nor is it a new Treachery to prefent the Olive
of Peace with one Hand, and the Stiletto with the
other.
II.
Chriſtian Charity taken in its full Latitude, implies
Precepts both negative and poſitive; by thofe you are
moſt ſeverely forbid to contrive any Miſchief againſt
your Neighbour; by thefe you are commanded to be as
ufeful to him as your Circumſtances permit, and his Ne-
ceffities require.
III.
Hence you muſt not invade your Neighbour's Honour,
nor make any Attempt upon his Reputation: A good
Name
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
63
Name is no contemptible Treaſure; the wife Man pri-
zes it above an Eftate; it fets off Birth, and gives an
Air even to Poverty; it ſhines brighter than Wealth, and
ſparkles more than all the Tinfel Gawdry of Fortune;
it fupports Grandeur, and fweetens Misfortune. A Bank-
rupt that has loft his Coin, if he has not forfeited his
Honour, has a Refource at Command. Though his For-
tune be fallen, he has a Fund to rebuild it on! But a Man
without Honour is dead to all the Offices of Society and
Commerce; now when his moral Capacity lies in the
Grave, his phyfical one alone creates Mifery and Con-
tempt to himself; Sport for fome, and Pity for others.
God has fo entailed this Bleffing to every individual,
that it's not at our Difpofal; we can neither make over
this Property by Deed of Gift, Bill of Sale, or Mort-
gage it at Pleaſure. Much lefs can any other Man lay a-
ny claim to it. You may commence a Suit of Law a-
gainſt me, if you think I am your Debtor; but you can't
put in a Bill againſt my Honour. If I have wrong'd you,
fue for Satisfaction; ftrain my Goods, but affail not my
good Name.
Yet, Good God! with what Freedom, with what
Boldneſs do we attack our Neighbour's Reputation? One
would think Fame, like bona adefpota, Goods without
Owner, belonged to the first Invader.
Detraction is univerfally the Difcourfe alamode, not
only among the Fry, but alſo among the Nobility. Our
Converfations are begun and carried on at our Neigh
bour's Expence, and fo we laugh and riot at free-coft;
we drag out his moft fecret Failings to the Bar, nay, and
haul 'em to Execution without Authority, without War-
rant, yes, with a greater Crime.
Suppoſe his Crimes were real; what then? Who made
us Judges? Who commiffioned us to hang the Delinquent
in Effigy? To proclaim on the Houſe Tops what he
committed in his Clofet? Though he has loft his Honour
in the Sight of God, he ftands fair in the Efteem of Men,
and has Right to continue fo, till his Crimes betray them-
felves, and expoſe his Iniquity to the Publick: If he has
done ill, God will call him to a fevere Account, but we
muſt not intermeddle. It's our Duty to pity a Sinner,
and to pray for him, but not to upbraid him.
I only
1
64
The GENTLEMAN Inſtructed.
I only jefted, fays one. But why must I pay for your
Diverfion? Though you publiſh my Faults in Jeft, you
ſtab my Reputation in Earneft. But befides, by this ve-
ry Excufe you acknowledge yourſelf a Fool, to prove
your Innocence: For to jeft and to play the Fool are in
Practice fynonymous.
He is my Enemy, fays another. Did you inform the
Company of this Circumftance, you might perchance
detract more, and fin lefs; for who believes an Enemy?
On fuch an Occafion, all goes for Satyr and Invective.
When the Heart is out of Tune, the Tongue never goes
right; but you whet and oyl your Darts, that they may
pierce deeper. You command me to conceal your Paf-
fion, and then detect my Life to fhew me for a Mon-
fter; and thus you call in Artifice to fecond Malice, and.
miſuſe your Wit, to ruin an Innocent, and to enhance
your Guilt.
But why am I your Enemy? Becauſe I would not re-
folve to be your Dupe. You fet Traps to enfnare me;
I diſcovered the Ambufcade, and had Wit to avoid it:
And thus you take the Liberty to befpatter my Fame,
becauſe you wanted Power to affront my Perfon,
Yet, though I am your Enemy, you are not, I fup-
pofe, an Infidel. If I have failed in my Duty, muſt you
betray yours for Company? You are a Chriftian, and
must therefore either forget or forgive. My Impiety can-
not warrant yours. Revenge is caufa major, and only be-
longs to the Court of the moft High. At his Bar alone
we muſt plead our Cauſe, and from his upright Judgment
we muſt expect Redreſs.
Ah, dear Neander! Let us turn our Eyes homeward,
and examine our own Conduct; we may perchance find
there Matter for Satyr, and Work for Repentance. Here
we may blame without Detraction, and condemn with-
out Sin. But it's both mean and unchriſtian, like Flies,
to hover about our Neighbour's Stores. Put a Centinel
over your Tongue; it's a flippery Member; Nature has
framed it for Motion, and Malice has fitted it for any
Miſchief; a Child can fet it a running, but all the Force
of Reaſon, all the Checks of Confcience are not able to
ftop it in its Career.
But above all things be cautious and tender of Ladies
Reputations: A Woman's Honour, like her Sex, is foft
com-
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
6$
Complexion'd; the very Breath fullies its Luftre, and a
Touch daſhes it in Pieces. Wounds made by the Tongue,
(like the biting of Crocodiles) are above the healing Vir-
tue of Balfam, and the Skill of Surgery. Quod dentibus
laceravit, nunquam fanatur. An indifcreet Word bolt-
ed out at random, without Defign, without Malice, of-
tentimes ftabs the Fame of the Female Sex, and every
Wound is mortal.
My Blood has often curdled in my Veins, when I heard
Gentlemen magnify their infamous Conquefts, and raiſe
cruel Trophies on the Ruins of Women's Honour: I had
not Patience to hear the Bravades, nor Power to hinder
'em. What will thefe People blufh at, thought I, who
proclaim their Infamy, and promulge their Shame? Cer
tainly they muſt think it a fine thing to be a Monſter, why
elfe do they triumph in Lewdneſs, and fport with De-
bauchery?
Thefe mighty Victories are either real or pretended; if
real, can Fancy frame any thing more difingenuous, more
diabolical, than firft to wheedle a Lady out of her In-
nocence, and then to proſtitute her Honour to the wan-
ton Caprice of a Club of Reprobates, who will not fail
to diſcover her Shame at the next Rendezvous, and to
multiply their own Crimes by lampooning hers? Here is
a Brace of Sins, both fmell ftrong of Malice, both fore-
bode Damnation.
If pretended only, the Crime is yet of a deeper Dye;
'tis of a more formidable Afpect, of a more gigantick
Size: Here is Innocence at the Block, and Guilt com-
mits the Murder.
I know in the next World God will call tó a moſt
fevere Account theſe Chriftian Canibals that welter in
Blood, and, like famifh'd Wolves, worry their own Spe-
cies. But I would have the Wiſdom of the Nation make
fome Provifion againſt fuch brutal, fuch inhuman At-
tempts. Why fhall a Highwayman hang for taking
my Purſe, and a Rake go unpunifh'd, who invades my
Honour? Why fhall a Rape upon a Woman's Body be
revenged with a Halter, and Violence upon her Fame
be rewarded with Applaufe? If the Faults be greater,
why are not the Punishments at leaft equal? Why is
there not a Reftraint on the Tongue as well as on
the Hands? Is it becaufe it's lefs capable of Difcipline?
F
What,
66 The GENTLEMAN Inftrudled.
What, muft the Greatnefs of the Miſchief be a Plea for
Impunity? Becauſe this puny petulant Member commits
more difmal Crimes than our whole Body, muſt it en-
joy a more uncontroll'd Liberty? I would have theſe
Beafts of Prey forc'd out of Savageneſs and Cruelty by
Law and Difcipline; they fhould be clapt in the Pound,
or cooled with a hot Iron: Or at leaſt we ſhould keep in
Pay a Brigade of Hunters to ferret our Defamators, and
to clear the Nation of this noxious Vermin, as once we
did of Wolves: But I fear the Distemper is paft Cure;
thoſe who are infected carry the Contagion to the Grave.
Not one in a thoufand repents.
Nean. Why fo? Is Detraction one of thofe Sins that
are neither pardoned in this Life nor the other? True
Sorrow is a Catholicon, an univerfal Slave for all the
Wounds of Confcience.
Eufeb.. Right, true Repentance has a kind of Omnipo-
tence; it difarms divine Juftice, and turns God into Mer-
cy, but then it muſt be true, real, fincere. Now, do ye
think, theſe Men of Honour, as they are pleas'd to ſtile
themſelves, will ever refolve to repair a ruin'd Reputa-
tion at the Expence of their own? Will they fet a dif-
jointed Fame at their own Charge? No, no!
Nean. Can't I re-inftate a Man in the juft Poffeffion of
his Honour, without forfeiting my own? Expreſs your
Mind clearer, I conceive not what you would be at.
Eufeb. Detraction is a Sin against Juftice, and therefore
by the Laws of God and Nature the Offender lies under
an indifpenfible Obligation of indemnifying the injur'd
Perfon. Non remittitur peccatum, donec reftituatur ab-
latum. Now the Detractor rifles his Neighbour's Ho-
nour, he blafts his Reputation, he must therefore make
good the Lofs; and as the Tongue is guilty of the Theft,
fo it muſt make Satisfaction. For the Wounds of Ho-
nour are only heal'd by the Inftrument that made 'em.
The Criminal muſt acknowledge his Fault, he muſt con-
feſs that Paffion run away with his Reaſon; that Malice
carried him beyond his Duty, and Truth alfo; that what
he laid to his Neighbour's Charge, was hatch'd in his own.
Brain, or taken upon Credit, and if a bare Affeveration
will not do the Work, he muſt back his Confeffion with
an Oath.
Near.
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
67
Nean. This is fevere: What, muſt a Gentleman give
himſelf the Lye? Flesh and Blood cannot practife fuch
rigorous Morals; the Remedy is worfe than the Difeafe;
and if your Caſuiſtry be orthodox, it's eaſier for a Camel
to pass through the Eye of a Needle, than for a Detractor
to enter into Heaven.
Eufeb. Under Favour, Neander, the leaft Sin is a
greater Evil than the greateſt Infamy; and I hold it
much more eaſy to bluſh for an Afperfion, than to burn
for it eternally.
Nean. Don't Men charge up to the Cannon's Mouth
to gain Honour, and leave their Bodies in the Breach to
be carried off with Applauſe? Nay, do they not often-
times march up to the Out-works of Hell, to maintain
their purchaſed Reputation? Can you therefore think,
that thofe Bravoes, who tremble more at the Shadow of
a Difgrace, than at all the Terrors of Damnation, will
buy Pardon at the Expence of their Honour?
Eufeb. The Queſtion, dear Neander, is not what Men
do, nor what Men will do, but what they fhould do.
Were Practice the Standard of Duty, we might reform
the Gofpel as well as the Kalendar; we might turn thofe
Woes God has pronounced against Injuftice, Drunken-
nefs and Whoredom, upon Juftice, Sobriety and Chafti-
ty: For it's certain thefe Vertues are invifible in Practice,
and thoſe Vices are too too faſhionable. But, Neander,
though Cuſtom and Practice may enhance Guilt, they
cannot leffen it.
Men are fond of Honour to Madnefs and Frenzy. It's
a noli me tangere; the leaft Attempt upon this darling
Folly is often revenged with Murder. But then, me-
thinks, the Inclination we have to conferve our own
Fame, fhould infpire fome Tenderneſs for that of our
Neighbour. For have we not Reafon to fuppofe, he is
no leſs acquainted with the Value of this inestimable
Treaſure than our felves, and that he would be as un-
willing to expofe it to the Mercy of petulant Tongues?
Perchance, Neander, I rate it to the height of its
Worth, yet I give God's Favour the Preference: One
Grain of his Divine Grace out-weighs a Tun of a Hector's
Reputation. In a Word, I would live an Age under the
Stroaks of the most picquant Difgrace, I would fheath
in my Breaft all the Darts of Malice, Envy and Poverty,
F z
either
68
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
either to die innocent, or repentant; for all theſe Miſe-
ries are fleeting and tranfitory; but the Reward of Ver-
tue and the Puniſhment of Vice are both eternal. If
`therefore your Men of Honour will rather ſtand by their
Crimes, than recant, I would have 'em train'd up in the
Dic.pline of Bedlam; a Switch is the beft Remedy a-
gainit Madness.
Belides, why is an humble Confeffion a degrading Sa-
tisfaction? The Name of a Chriftian is glorious; how
then can the Duty lie under Reproach? If the Profeffion
be honourable, the Practice of it cannot be fhameful.
Why then do we tremble at Shadows, and run from
Monſters that take their Deformity from Imagination?
I did not bluſh to wound my Neighbour's good Name;
why ſhould I be aſhamed to heal it? Sin ſhould be wait-
ed on by Infamy, as it is by Remorfe; and Repentance
fhould be accompanied by Glory; but by a ftrange Le-
gerdemain the Devil has turn'd the Tables, and tack'd
Shame to this, and Impudence to that: But however,
Repentance is an honeft Act; it's worthy of a Man, and
the indifpenfible Duty of a Chriftian; why then fhould
it fear a Witneſs? The Difference between good and ill
Men lies not in the Efteem of Vertue, but in the Pra-
Etice; for both equally value it. But the firſt only poffefs
it, becauſe the others will not go to the Charge of pro-
curing it.
Nean. Pray, is not Fear a clownish Vice; a Female
Weakneſs? Does it not fit ungenteelly on Quality?
Now what can bring a Gentleman to the Bar, and clap
him on his Knees, with a Pray forgive me in his Mouth,
but this mean Paflion?
Eufeb. You are miſtaken; Cowardice and Fear are
neither fynonymous in Philofophy, nor Morals: That
is always a Vice, this is often a Vertue. When Prudence
commands Fear, Boldness is Temerity and Folly: It's
Cowardice to deſpond and fink under a Danger, that
Valour can fubdue; but it's Rafhneſs to engage with
one above the Strength of human Force. Has then a
Gentleman lefs Courage, becauſe he trembles at the im-
partial Justice of an enraged Deity? Becauſe he dares.
not wreſtle with the Omnipotent, or ftand the fhock of
his Fury? Becauſe he'll rather repent than die in Obſti-
nacy, and rather return to his Duty, than fuffer eternal-
ly
}
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
69
ly for tranfgreffing it? Neander, let not the wild Noti-
ons of our pretended Gentlemen be your Guides: Their
Principles are as corrupt as their Practice, and their
Reaſon is as bad as their Conſcience.
Nean. Are you not a Member of the Port-Royal
Club?
Eufeb. Why do you ask this Queſtion?
Nean. I am told they are mighty Patrons de la morale
Severe; they preach up Rigour to fuch an exorbitant
Height, that one would think God's great Prerogative,
Mercy, was either wore out, or extinct. Your Morals
have a Flavour of Rigorifm; they are four, morofe, ill-
natur'd, and call for a Dram of Charity. For look ye,
Sir, Detraction, as the World goes, is no Phantafm, it's
a very real thing, and keeps good Company: This alone,
pours Life into Converfation; it quickens Difcourfe;
without it Mirth would languifh, and good Humour
fleep. I have feen your Seventh-form Wits, as mute,
as if their Mouths were pad-lock'd, when any ſerious
and innocent Subject came in their Way; but when
their Neighbour's Conduct was brought before 'em, their
Tongues run before their Confcience; they would take
his Life in Pieces, they would rip up his Breaft, diffect
his Thoughts, and then draw Demonftrations from meer
Conjectures; they would hand his Reputation about
the Table, till it fell to the Ground, and blow over it,
till it ſmell as rank as the Breath that cauſeth the Stench,
and difgorged the Infection. Notwithſtanding theſe Peo-
ple hoped to be faved, without ftooping to the Satisfacti-
on you ſpeak of. In fhort, every Man endeavours by
Detraction and Out-rage to undermine his Brother's
Fame, and no Man fo much as thinks of repairing it.
Nay, I never heard the Clergy recommend it to dying
Perions as a Duty; but either as an Act of Decency,
or of Edification. Can I fuppofe you are better in-
formed of a ſtrict Obligation than the Ministry? Orbet-
ter vers'd in Cafuiftry than Divines? Eufebius, let us
damn no Body.
Eufeb, Iremember when ftigmatized Villians with Nar-
ratives and Difcoveries libelled honeft Patriots into
Newgate, and cut off their Honours and Lives with Fears
and Jealoufies; when they fowed the Innocent in Bear-
Skins, and then fet all the Beagles of the Faction about
F 3
their
by
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
their Ears; when they profaned Bailies with Perjuries,
and butchered their Fellow-Subject's Fame at the Bar, to
quarter their Bodies at Tyburn. Thefe Knights of the
Poft flung not up, I fuppofe, their Pretenfions to Heaven:
Tho' I have not feen any Recantation; yet I am fure,
unleſs God nulls all the Laws of Nature, and calls in the
Gofpel, or flues out under bis great Seal an Amnesty,
they'll fall fhort of their Expectation.
I confefs, this Difeafe of the Tongue is epidemical;
the ufe of Speech has fo fwerved from its original Infti-
tution, that it's become an Incumbrance and a Snare to
Mankind. I look upon the Faculty rather as a Penalty
than a Prerogative; and were we divefted of it, though
we ſhould be unfit for Converfation, we might hope to
be more innocent. Now, whether our Calumniators
hope to be faved, is a Queftion. I am apt to believe
their Religion and Confcience are of a Piece, and that
they confine their Fears, Hopes and Defires within the
Compafs of this World: For certainly, the Dread of eter-
nal Fire might cool their Paffions, and check their Ma-
lice, Were they perfuaded of another World, would
they not fall with more Scruple, and rife with more Vi-
gour? But if they hope for Salvation without Satisfacti-
on, they build on a deceitful Bottom.
Neander, Once more let me advife you to be tender of
your Neighbour's Honour. Give Ear to the Voice of
Nature, that commands you to do as you would be done
by: You can't chufe but hear this juft, this equitable
Admonition, unless we ftop our Ears, and caft Reaſon
into a mortal Lethargy; nay, we muft approve the
Counfel, fo that we can neither plead Ignorance nor
Impotence. And certainly, a fick Man deferves rather
Laughter than Pity, that will rather ftruggle with a Dif-
eaſe, and groan under the Pangs of a burning Fever,
than apply a Remedy.
Yet after all, I grant a disjointed Reputation is not
eafily fet; and therefore I befeech you, to avoid a Mif-
chief, that draws after it fuch a difmal Confequence.
If other Men have a mind to be eternally miferable, let
'em have that Satisfaction; but be not fo ill adviſed,
as to wait on 'em. Should a Man put Fire to his Houſe,
or leap into a boiling Cauldron, the Frolick would fçarce
go round. Yet certainly, thofe that break in upon ano-
ther
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
71
ther Man's good Name, and never refolve to repair the
Injury, hazard a thing more precious than a Houfe or
Life. Why therefore fhall we refufe to comply in one
Cafe, and not in the other?
I have made a fhort Survey of Detraction, and laid be-
fore you a faint Profpect of its dangerous Confequences:
But it avails not the Patient to know the Nature of his
Distemper, unleſs he be told the Remedy. I will there-
fore prefcribe a Recipe. Certainly the Phyfician's Method
is applicable to Difeafes of the Soul, no lefs than to thofe
of the Body. We muſt ſtrike at the Cauſe, before we
can hope to mafter the Effect. Now if we trace Detrac-
tion up to its Origin, we ſhall find it ſpring from Pride
and Envy: For it's a kind of Apofteme that lies at the
Heart, and breaks out at the Mouth.
Though all Sins have a Flavour of Pride, yet Detrac-
tion has a greater Doſe of this bad Humour than ordi-
nary. It's the chief Ingredient of this outragious Crime ;
it difcompoſes the Stomach, and then immediately gives
the Heart-burning; and then the Tongue, which is its
Index, falls into Diſorders, A Man fmitten, like young
Narciffus, with his own Excellencies, looks down
from the Pinnacle of his foaring Conceit on other Mortals
as Vaffals; he fancies Praife is an Inheritance entailed on
his Merit; that either to refpect or honour another, is
to invade his Property, and to fet againſt him an ufurp-
ing Competitor. Hence he runs in Queft of a Foil, to
make his own Perfections appear more gaudy, and
ſparkle with more Eclat. Now what can give a more
charming Turn to his fuppofed Talent, than his Rival's
Folly Hence he rallies up in a Body all the auxiliary
Forces of Anger and Revenge; he takes the Field, and
maraudes upon his Fame; he diffects the poor Creature's
Actions, and expofes the whole Anatomy of his pri-
vate Tranfgreffions to the View and Cenfure of the Pub-
lick. For he wifely fancies, that the Fabrick of his Va-
nity will ſtand unmoveable on the Ruins of a Rival's Re-
putation. Did the Breafts of the proud and haughty-
minded Men lie open to Sight; could we rifle all the
abſtruſe and dark Receffes of their Hearts, what Sallies
of Joy fhould we difcover at the moſt innocent Over-
fights of a Competitor? And then, whoever crows with-
in at the Misfortune, will proclaim it at the firſt Occa~
F 4
fion :
2
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
fion: For Joy, like Grief, is a ftifling Humour, unleſs
it throws off the Oppreffion.
If therefore you defire to ſpeak ill of no Body, think
not too well of your felf; fet not too exorbitant a Price
upon your Merits; remember you are no Phoenix, the
only individual of your Species; thofe Qualities you
poffefs are mere Gratuities, the Effects of God's Libera-
lity, not of your Deferts; you had no right to be much
lefs to be great, beautiful, or rich. Is it not Madneſs
therefore for you who can lay claim to nothing, to en-
grofs all the Gifts of Nature and Fortune? Think not,
God has exhauſted his Treaſury on you alone; he fcat-
ters his Favours where he pleaſes; and if he provides
more plentifully for your Neighbour than for you, why
do you complain? Muft you be evil, becauſe God is
good? Muft you caft a malicious Glance at another, be-
cauſe he has received fome Marks of his great Maker's
Kindneſs? Difcompoſe not your Thoughts for other
Peoples Advantages, but enjoy your own with Thank-
fulneſs. Fix juft Bounds to your Defires, as well as to
your Undertakings, otherwiſe you'll rear up imaginary
Caftles of Greatnefs, to create to your felf a real Tor-
ment.
But if you will contend for an honourable Poft, ma-
nage the Conteſt fairly; puſh on your Pretenfions with
Vertue and Generofity. Let Merit bear away the Prize,
not Outrage, and if your Rival carry off the Advantage,
rather applaud the Conqueft, than revile him. By lef-
fening his Parts or Conduct you burleſque your own; but
then if you complain, and curfe in a Corner, you only
betray your Impotence, Ill-nature, and Impiety: In
fine, look at your Failings and his through the fame
Glafs, and you'll fee an humbling Spectacle; you'll be-
hold fo many Objects worthy of Blame, that you'll have
no great Stomach to cenfure others.
Envy is the fecond Source of Detraction. This is an
ill-natur'd Vice, it loves ill for ill's fake, and takes Plea-
fure in Torment; it's a kind of Turnkey by Birth, and an
Executioner by Profeflion; it feeds on Stench, and fucks
Rats-bane from Balms, and Infection from Perfumes; it
never does a good Turn, but when it defigns an ill one;
and feldom takes things by the right Handle; Miſchief
makes up its Employment, Plagues and Famines are its
Diverfion,
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
73
Diverfion, its Smiles are like blazing Comets, which
either hatch Treafon, or portend it. What Wonder, if
a Man poffefs'd by this Fiend plays the Devil, who is
furnamed Accufator Fratrum!
But though any Mifchief lies within the Reach of an
envious Man's Wifh, many are removed out of the Verge
of his Power: Some move too high to be ſhot at, others
too low; but neither Place nor Station is a fufficient Fence
againſt the Tongue. A Dwarf may engage with a Giant
at this Weapen, or a Clown with a Lord. And for this
Reaſon, when the envious Man can't come at his Antago-
nift's Perſon, he fets upon his good Name, and falls foul
upon his Honour; and when by the help of keen Satyr
and falfe Gloffes, he has beat down the Out-works that
fenc'd his Fortune from Infult and Ruin, he draws his
Cannon nearer, and raifes Batteries againſt his Grandeur
and Eſtate that fupport it: For he knows that the beſt
built Fortune can't be ftable, when Reputation, 'that
propt it, is removed. Thus we fee Socrates kept his
Ground, and even triumphed over the Calumnies of his
Accufers, whilft his Reputation interpofed. But when
a buffooning Comedian droll'd him into Contempt, he
appear'd no lefs guilty before the Judges, than defpica-
ble on the Stage. So that in Conclufion, Envy found
him guilty, and the Senate pronounced the Sentence.
Methinks it's fuperfluous to diffuade a Man from this
Vice. Intereft is more powerful than Reaſon. We dote
on Pleaſure, and run from Pain by the Inftinct of Nature.
Who will not rather chufe a Prifon with Satisfaction, than
a Palace with Torment? But an envious Man, inſtead
of following the Current of Nature, bears up againſt it.
He labours for labour's fake, and drudges for the meer
Expectation of Mifery. He leads the Life of Cain, haunt-
ed with the Spectres of his own Crimes from within,
and with a thouſand Jealoufies from abroad; other Peo-
ples Happineſs creates his Torments; their Proſperity
gnaws his Entrails, and his Impotence, to over-caft the
Sun-fhine of their Fortune, claps him on the Wheel.
Now a Man that can fall in Love with Pain, and court
Difquiet, muft not be caft in the fame Mould that o-
ther Mortals are: And therefore I fhould think it as
eafy to diffuade People from Envy, as from vaulting
down a Precipice.
But
74
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
But befides, a Man that envies others, is always paid
in the fame Coin; his Honour will be as roughly handled;
when one conteſts with Multitudes, he ſtands on the low-
er Ground, and fights at a Difadvantage. This is the
envious Man's Cafe. For he can't but know the difinge-
nuous Defcants on other's Actions will reach the Ears of
the offended Perfons. Defaming Reports have a mira-
culous Sympathy with thofe that Diftance of Place is not
able to dead the Echo; they rebound from Tongue to
Tongue, are toffed from Hand to Hand, till they come
to the Knowledge of the injured; and generally, like
Snow-Balls, they encreaſe in the Journey. What a gra-
ting Noiſe then will they make in the Ears of the defa-
med Perfon? Will not he think of Reprifals? Will he
not treat your Honour with as little Regard as you have
his? And God fend fuch an eaſy Satisfaction may af
fwage his Refentment. When Men fit Judges in their
own Caufe, they make the Bills of Loffes and Damages
rife high; who knows but they may demand Blood,
and facrifice your Life to the Manes of their murder'd
Reputation?
2
In fine, Neander, remember you must die. When Death
hath fealed your Eyes, you'll find all the Darts of the
Tongue, fhot at your Neighbour, ftick in your own Soul;
you'll feel the Smart, but will find no Lenitive, no Cure
Why then ſhall we run headlong into thofe Crimes we
muſt either deplore here, or burn for hereafter? Let us
look before us, and not, like Beaſts, follow the meer Im-
preffions of Paffion. Let us fhew we are Men, not by
our Vices, but by our Vertues. To have Reafon, and
to act againſt it, is to debafe our Species.
IV.
As God has fenced our Neighbour's Fame, fo he has
been careful to guard his Poffeffions againſt all the At-
tempts of Avarice and Injuftice. Non furaberis, fays he
in the Decalogue, Thou shalt not ſteal; and then he threa-
tens the Criminal with the Sentence of his high Diſplea-
fure, unleſs he cancels the Tranfgreffion with a fincere
Repentance. I apprehend, Neander, fome Gentlemen
miſtake this Command: They fancy it reaches only Pads,
Cut-purfes or Highwaymen : But this is a Miftake; it
takes in all who act againſt the Laws of Juftice; and for
this
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
75
this Reafon, I fear, that many who hang at Tyburn, are
often lefs criminal, than fome of thoſe who ſtand Specta-
tors of the Tragedy, or perchance who fat on the Bench.
For in all Kingdoms, Laws aie, as Solon faid, like Cob-
webs, that hamper fmall Flies whilft the greater break
through 'em. Poor People bear the Punishment of In-
juftice, and great ones carry off in Triumph both Plea-
fure and Profit. Theſe are too big for Execution, though
not for Guilt. They can fue for an indigent Neighbour's
Field, becauſe it lies conveniently, and perfuade the Judges
they have more Right, becauſe they have more Money
and Credit. The Luftre of Gold often dazzles Lawyers
out of Confcience, and juft Poffeflors out of Lordships.
Right ebbs and flows by the fecret Influence of Guineas.
For let me tell you, Neander, the Juftice of a Cauſe
fprouts up, and thrives miraculouſly under a Fee.
But though thefe Men carry the Suit in the Eyes of the
World, they lofe it at God's high Court of Juftice, and
their Souls alfo; nor is there any Difference between
thefe Over-reachers and Cut-purfes; but that they are
ten times more criminal. Among the Lacedemonians, a
clear Theft pafs'd for a Vertue. Are not fome Chriftians
of the fame Perfuafion? But for all that, though a Spar-
tan Jury might poffibly find 'em not guilty, they'd find no
fuch Indulgence in the Vale of Jehoshaphat.
I never yet understood, how Solicitations, and Recom-
mendations of Cauſes to the Judges, how double and tri-
ple Fees could be well reconciled with this Law, Thou
fhalt not fleal: For either you doubt of the Integrity of
the Bench, or you do not. If the firſt, you caft a Scan-
dal on the Face of the Government; you arraign either
the Capacity or the Integrity of the Prince; i. e. you
fufpect he wants Judgment in the Choice of Magiſtrates,
or has advanced on purpoſe thoſe who would betray the
Property of the Subject. Now fuch an Innuendo is dif
refpectful, rafh, and highly unchriftian.
But befides, if really you doubt of the Judge's Integri-
ty, your Conduct is foolish. For if a Judge will fell a
favourable Sentence to the Plaintiff, he'll be no lefs kind
to the Defendant, if he out-bids him. A Man then ſhould
be firſt fure of Succefs, before he parts with his Money,
otherwife he will be gulled out of his Pretenfions, and
pay for his Diſappointment.
Again,
76 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Again, this Practice runs quite counter to all the Di-
ctates of Confcience and Juftice. For if Gain and Inte-
reft be a Magiftrate's weak fide, if I know he meaſures
Right by the Weight of Silver, and barters Law for Mo-
ney, can I pamper his Inclination, or feed his corrupt
Appetite; or ſtrike in with his finful Diftemper? No
more, certainly, than I can with a fafe Conſcience puſh
him down a Precipice; for if it be a Sin to permit one,
when I can hinder it, is it not a Sin to perfuade a Crime;
nay, to buy one?
If the fecond; i. e. If you fuppofe your Bufineſs lies
in the Hands of upright Men, that fquare their Verdicts
by the Laws, not by Partiality and Favour, why are you
eternally upon the Hoof? Why do you tire them and
your felf too with tedious Applications? Why do you
drain your Pockets to enrich Pettifoggers and Attornies?
This Trouble is fuperfluous, and the Expence unneedful.
In a Word, Sir, the Conduct is either unprofitable or
unjuft.
But if you doubt in your Cauſe, let it fall, at leaſt puſh
it on no further with your Credit or Purfe; for all you
can expect, is to gain a Suit, and lofe your Soul.
Nean. If I can juggle a Neighbour out of an Eſtate by
Quirks of Law, and by a genteel Turn of the Hand,
bubble him out of a confiderable Sum, may I not put
him to graze upon the Common, without any Obliga-
tion to reſtore?
Eufeb. The very Queſtion is a Scandal, not only to
Chriſtianity, but to human Nature; you are obliged not
only to return the Capital, but to indemnify him for all
the Loffes confequent thereto.
Nean. Nay, Sir, I am of your Opinion; for why
ſhould a Man gain by his Crimes? Yet once I fell into
the Company of a Man of Parts, of Character and Re-
pute in his Country, who thought otherwife of the Mat-
ter: We difcours'd the Point, yet I could never get him
over to my Opinion: He held fo faft to Non-reftitution,
that there was no moving him. A hearty Repentance,
faid he, without Reftitution, makes a fufficient A-
tonement for the Offence. He told me I was unskill'd
in Cafuiftry. I confefs'd I had read no. Cafuift but the
Bible and Nature.
Eufeb.
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
77
Eufeb. With Submiffion to the Gentleman's Character,
Parts and Station; he was either a great Fool, or a ſuper-
lative Knave, fit for Bedlam or Newgate. Was he not
a Lawyer?
Nean. He had ſtudied in the Inns of Court.
Eufeb. I thought fo. It's a healing Doctrine for a
wounded Confcience, a palatable and eafy Remedy, a
Catholicon for all the Aches of the Mind, and the Gripes
of an over-charg'd Stomach; and perchance the Ufe is
univerfal, otherways once at leaſt in a Twelvemonth we
might fee a Dives transform'd into a Lazarus, a Lord into
a Laquey, and a Lady into a Chamber-maid; we might
fee thoſe who fit majeftically in Coaches with a long
Wig, and a Snuff-Box alamode, fit behind 'em. Good
God! how many gawdy Birds would make as naked a Fi-
gure as the Daw in the Fable, if their Peacock Plumes
were return'd to their Owners? Neander, pray tell that
Gentleman I am neither fatisfied with his Confcience nor
his Skill; he that will not reftore ftolen Goods, is more
criminal than he that conceals 'em; and he that will keep
an ill-purchaſed Eſtate in Spight of Juftice, will ſeize on
the next that lies in his way; and then how can he un-
derſtand Cook and Littleton, who can't read the very Al-
phabet of Nature? A hearty Repentance without Refti-
tution is a Dream.
Dear Neander, never raiſe the Pile of a great Fortune
on a Bottom of Fraud and Injuftice; it's an unſtable
Foundation, and unable to bear the monstrous Weight of
Crimes, they cruſh in a Moment the best built Structure,
and entomb the Criminal, together with all his Grandeur,
under the Ruins of his towring Babel. The Triumphs of
unjuſt Men are always fhort-lived. God takes Pleaſure
in ſtrangling 'em in the very Cradle; they pafs like Light-
ning, and leave nothing behind but Smoak and Vapour:
Their Fall is no lefs amazing than their Rife; they país
off like Phantaſms, or elſe live in Penury and Contempt,
or die like Reprobates; they carry the moſt legible Marks
of God's Malediction ftampt on their Foreheads, and
tear almoſt all Men without being pitied by any; ſo that
Divine Vengeance begins their Torments in this World,
to continue 'em eternally in the other.
I'll not follow this crying Vice thro' its Branches, nor
make an entire Diffection of all its Parts; it runs through
all
;
78
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
all the Veins of Commerce, and almoft Converſation;
it's found in Play, as well as in Contracts, and is no
more innocent under one Shape, than under another;
you may call it Over-reaching or Out-witting, if you
pleaſe, but the change of Names makes no Alteration of
the Thing: Nature depends not on Fancy or Caprice,
they are the fame in ſpight of Cuſtom and Diſguiſe.
V.
I muſt now caution you againſt Lewdnefs. It's a noi-
fome Employment to grope in Puddles, and to dig in
Muck. And therefore I'll only fkim the Surface, and let
the offenfive Dregs lie at the Bottom. You know God
has enacted this Law in the Decalogue, Thou shalt not
commit Adultery: This Precept does not only reſtrain
Acts of Lewdnefs, but even Thoughts and Defires: For
Impurity in Idea draws after it a real Hell; the Smoak
that vaniſhes in a Moment, kindles an eternal Fire.
Nean. I fuppofe neither Gentlemen of the Court, nor
Officers of the Army, come within the Compafs of this
Prohibition. God furely and Nature have iflued out in
their Favour a Patent of Exemption.
Eufeb. Truly, Neander, I never read that either God
or Nature had fuch a Deference for the Court and Ar-
my, or ſo great a Reſpect for Quality. Why, Man, let
our Courtiers be as great as Alexander, and our Soldiers
as valiant; there fits a more auguft, and a more power-
ful Maſter above, whofe Commands they must obey, or
fmart for the Tranfgreffion. The Sword has no Privi-
lege above the Plow, nor has Quality any Right above
Peafantry, but to greater Torments: Potentes potenter tor-
menta patientur.
Nean. If it be fo, our Gentlemen and Soldiers are all
ftruck with a Lunacy. They feem to have entred into
an Affociation against Divine Authority, and endeavour
by Practice to repeal the Statute; as if God's Laws
could ceaſe per defuetudinem, as well as human. Whem
St. Paul bids every Man take uxorem, if he meant a Miſs,
the Counſel is followed even to a Scruple; but if he
did not, our Conduct is fcandalous to Impudence, and
God's Authority is flighted beyond Contempt and Info-
lence.
Eufeb.
•
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
79
Eufeb. The Evil lies deep, and the Diſeaſe reaches to
the Land's End; few are clear of the Infection; Lewd-
neſs is no more a Diverfion; no, it's become the grand
Buſineſs, the Employment of Mankind; nay, it's impro-
ved to Science alfo; Love-Intrigues turn on Method, and
are carried on by Demonftration: So that Attempts upon
Chaſtity come off generally with Succefs. For Women,
in our Age, are as ill furniſh'd for Refiftance, as an old
Spanish Town for a Siege. But then the Dons, when
forc'd to furrender, article for their Honour: This
they'll bring off, though the Town ftay behind in the
Hands of the Conquerors. But our Female Defendants
ſtand not upon fuch Niceties: They deliver up their Mo-
defty, and go off with Ignominy: Confufion I will not
fay; for Bluſhes are out of Faſhion, unleſs when it's a
Queſtion to practiſe the Chriſtian Vertues of Sobriety,
Temperance and Chaſtity.
I have more than once taken a Survey of our Gentry,
and I find nine in ten ruin'd by this unlucky Vice; to all
Intents and Purpofes, they have forfeited their Honour,
mortgaged their Eftates, impaired their Health, their Bo-
dies fall under the Weight of Lewdnefs, their Purſes are
fcarce able to fupport it. So that if theſe young Sparks
would take the Pains to caft up their Accounts, they
would find their Pleaſure have brought them in no o-
ther Profit but Poverty, Difeafes, and more than one
Cauſe of Repentance. Good God! Why muſt Appetite
have ſuch a ſtrange Afcendant over Reafon? Why muft
Man thus tranfgrefs the End of Creation? Appetite was
made to obey, Reaſon to command. To change their
Office is to throw down the Encloſure between Man and
Beat. Is it not a Madneſs to fell this Prerogative for a
petty Satisfaction; that like the Book of the Apocalypfes,
leave a fweet Flavour in the Mouth, and Bitterneſs in
the Heart? But fuppofe a Man will enjoy Pleaſure, is
nothing palatable but Dirt and Mire? Muft he turn
Goat or Baboon before he can be pleafed? Certainly he
is enamour'd of their Nature, he dotes fo much on their
Paftimes; and I am apt to believe he would range on
their Hills, or ſport on their Trees among a Herd of
Females.
But take all together, I fear the Pleaſure does not
come up to Expectation. The Gall out-weighs the Honey.
· For
3
80
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
For let us ſuppoſe a Man poffefs'd by the unclean De-
vil of brutiſh Love, he lodges all the Torments of the
Damned in his Heart, and, what is worfe, their Guilt;
he ſhivers and burns, he hopes and deſpairs, he dreams in
Company, and talks in Solitude; all the Features of his
beloved Object meet in his Imagination to wound his
Heart, and turn the Idol he adores into a Devil to laſh
him; his Fears keep pace with his Fondnefs, and Jea-
louſy treads on the Heels of both, and all confpire to
make him wretched. For though Love looks pleafing
and pretty in Romance, in Life it's Monſter, Tyrant and
Fury.
A Lover knows, that a Woman, who has withdrawn.
her Fidelity from God, will forfake a Gallant at the leaſt
Proſpect of Advantage. Hence Difquiet feizes on the
Brain, and Jealouſy rifes from Hell, to clap him on the
Torture; like the Devil in the Goſpel, it fometimes
flings him into the Water, fometimes into the Fire; he
watches his Treaſure with the Eyes of an Argus, and
lays an hundred Ambuſcades to find his Mifery, and her
Infidelity; fo that, though Mifs be faithful, Monfieur is
fure to be miferable.
I fay nothing here of Averfion, Hatred, Envy, and a
thouſand other Vipers that worry his Heart, and prey
upon his Vitals. In ſhort, in a befotted Lover alone are
centred all the Frenzies and Follies of Bedlam, but that
of Mirth. So that Envy can ſcarce wiſh him more un-
happy, nor Malice render him more unfortunate: But if
the Intrigue be carried with a Perfon of an unſpotted Re-
putation, and who ſtands fair in the Opinion of the World,
nay, and who perchance fets up for Lucretia and Ve
ftal; what Endeavours are made to court incognito, and
to play out of Sight? But if after all, the Sin quickens.
in her Womb, and that within nine Months fhe be in
Danger to fall into Fits of the Mother; what Pangs, what
Throws, what Convulfions tear this poor Creature's
Breaft, and her Gallants too? In how lively Shapes does
Imagination paint her Folly! She ſuffers all the Torments
of Child-birth at the very inftant of Conception; befides
thoſe of Rage, of Defpair and Confufion; and in the
end perchance refolves to conceal one Sin by the help of
another; i. e. Lewdneſs by Murder; and thus a poor
Innocent, who came into the World by a leſs Sin, is fent
Out
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
8 F
out of it by a greater; and then in all Probability the
Tragedy that begun at Midnight in Darkneſs and Priva-
cy, often ends at Mid-day on a Scaffold. Muft not there-
fore one be void of Reaſon to take a petty Pleaſure in
Hand, with fuch a Crowd of Troubles in Reverfion?
Ought we not to fence againſt a Vice, ſo charming on
the one Hand, and fo uneafy on the other?
Nean. What are the beſt Prefervatives againft this epi-
demical Distemper?
Eufeb. Take this as a Principle, that Chaſtity is a
Gift of God; and therefore implore continually his Di-
vine Affiſtance; rely on his Grace, not on your Force;
and if you be ſo happy as not to fall, give him the Glo-
ry of the Triumph, and believe that whofoever prefumes
on his own Valour, has already meaſured half the Pre-
cipice: God protects the Humble, and humbles the
Proud.
Secondly, Keep Love at a Diſtance, or it will furprize
you; when once it has ſtormed the Heart, it forces Rea-
fon to furrender; and when Appetite commands, when
Paffion domineers, what can be expected but Brutality?
Lock up the Gates of your Senſes, and, as in Frontier-
Towns, examine the Paffengers. Love, like a Proteus,
borrows all Shapes, and makes its Approaches at all Sea-
fons; fo that you muft ftand upon your Guard, if you
intend to avoid a Surprize; and if you can keep this
Traitor at Arms-length, Lewdneſs will neither have the
Face, nor find the Opportunity to affail you. But if you
admit this Tyrant, if you lodge him in your Breaft, you
will have Caufe to deplore your Slavery, and perchance
eternally. For in a Word, Love, like a Viper, eats in-
to the Heart that warms it, and returns Death for the
Favour.
Thirdly, Flight is the beft Defence, the moft fecureRam-
part againſt the Darts of Lafciviouinefs; you may as well
hope to freeze in Fire, as to converfe innocently in the
midſt of Occafions. I am of Tertullian's Opinion, that
it is eaſier to die for Chaftity, as the World goes, than to
live with it in Balls, Vifits and Entertainments. And I
look upon it as a certain Truth, that many of the Sex,
who have furrender'd their Honour to the Flatteries, Im-
portunities and Dalliances of Gallants, would have re-
fufed it to the Cruelty of Hangmen.
G
Enter
82
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Enter not therefore into the Play-houfe; it's the Palace
of Afinodæus, the Seat of Lewdnefs, the Nurſery of De-
bauchery. It's with us as Fornices were at Rome, only
with this Difference, that thofe Crimes are learn'd, con-
triv'd, and refolv'd on here, the Romans actually commit-
ted them under the black Shade of thoſe infernal Vaults.
For my part I am of Opinion, that a Chriftian cannot with.
a fafer Confcience enter into the Play-houfe, than into a
Brothel; as things are managed there, Temptation is
ſtronger on the Stage, and more inviting. The Blackneſs
of the Vice lies under a Difguife; it's blanch'd over with all
the Art of Wit and Gawdry; fo that nothing appears but
the charming Part, which fafcinates the Eyes, captivates
the Ears, dozes the Intellect, and fires the Paffions, and
then to plain the Way for Action, the Poet burleſques the
Terrors of the other World; he paints the Devils rather
like Scaramouches to divert, than like Executioners to
torment: He blafphemes the Majefty of God to bring him
under Contempt, and fo blunts all the Darts of Fear and
Apprehenfion; and then, when Objects draw, when Paf-
fions ſtand prepared, and Reftraint is removed, what can
be reaſonably expected, but Proſtitution?
But befides, the Stage not only removes Fear of Puniſh-
ment, but even rewards Debauchery; for who are they
that carry off Applauſe and Fortunes, but Rakes and Pro-
ftitutes? The Poet puts all his Wit in the Mouths of
Rooks and Bullies; and if an honeſt Man appear, he is
fure to be hooted at, and generally goes off both Fool and
Cuckold. Is not this to condemn Vertue, to execute it
in Effigy, and to canonize Vice by Deputy? Is not this
to fay, Gentlemen and Ladies, beware of Chaſtity and
Vertue, they are out of Date in our Age; you'll forfeit
your Honour by maintaining it, and grow ridiculous, if
you continue innocent. The ſhorteſt Way to Repute, is
to drive over Confcience, to bluſh at Honefty, and
practiſe Incontinence. What Vertue is Proof against
fuch murdering Engines? If Hell be a Place of Diverfion,
as the Poets endeavour to perfuade the Audience, if God
be a Scare-crow, if Chaftity be infamous, and Impuri-
ty creditable, who will not rather be lewd with Credit,
than chaſte with Reproach? I would have both Poets
and Players enter a little into themſelves; they have all
contributed to run down Vertue and Religion, and to
bring
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
83
bring Libertiniſm and Atheiſm into Faſhion. Thoſe pre-
pare the Poiſon, theſe prefent the Potion, dafh'd with all
the palatable Ingredients of Pomp and Magnificence, that
it may go down with Pleafure, and work with Efficacy.
I am afraid in the next World they'll be forc'd to anſwer
for the Sins of the Poet and Actors, as well as for thoſe
of the Chriftian, unlefs by a timely Repentance, and pub-
lick Recantation, they ask Pardon of God, and Forgive-
nefs of the Nation, which they have rhimed almoſt out
of Religion, and played out of Confcience.
Fourthly, When Temptation invites, draw up all the
difmal Confequences of this wretched Sin, and fix your
Thoughts upon 'em. Other Crimes, like the Adder, car-
ry their Poifon in their Head; this is a Scorpion that licks
up its Venom in its Tail. For though the Sin be charm-
ing, its Sequels are dreadful. The Infection flies up to
the Brain, like the Sting of the Tarantula; and tho' thoſe
who are bit by this poiſonous Infect, can dance out the
ſtupifying Humour, and may be fiddled into their Wits,
the others are paft Cure; they remain in Spight of Ho-
mily and Exhortation, ſtupid, brutal, without Judgment,
without Honour, without Senfe, and oftentimes without.
Money; but never without Folly, Sighs, Jealoufies,
Rage and Deſpair.
Fifthly, That your Affections may not ſteal abroad, nor
like Butter-flies,flutter from one Object to another, chain
'em by lawful Wedlock to a Wife. I know at preſent,
Matrimony, that in St. Paul's Days was honourable, lies
under no creditable Circumſtances; and we are in part
obliged to the Stage-Poets for the Afperfion. They repre-
fent this Divine Inſtitution under all the Reproaches of
Slavery and Folly, and paint both Sexes fo fcandaloufly
lafcivious, that the Character is enough to deter Chrifti-
ans from the Engagement. I fuppofe thefe Gentlemen are
fee'd by the Stews, to ftand up for the Improvement of
their Trade; and for this reafon they labour fo heartily,
to perſuade People, lawful Pleaſures tafte flat and infipid,
as if the only charming Circumftance of Pleaſure were
the Unlawfulneſs of the Action. This Doctrine is calcu-
lated exactly for the Practice of Lucifer and his Affoci-
ates, but not for Chriftians; it fmells of Smoak, and
may in good time heat the Preachers.
G 2
Beware
84
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Beware of Jealoufy. A Wife is often made faithful
by not ſuſpecting her of Infidelity, but when without
Reaſon, you queſtion her Loyalty, you only tempt her
to betray it I have heard of a Lady, that kept her Gon-
jugal Yow, whilft her Husband thought fhe did; but when
he accused her falfly, and blaſted her Reputation, ſhe mur-
dered her Innocence to revenge the Injury. Some Wo-
men are of Opinion, there is little Difference between
being unchafte, and being thought fo; and therefore go
off with the Satisfaction of Infidelity, as well as with the
Infamy. A thoufand, thoufand times happy is that Cou-
ple, that by a wife Forefight prevents thofe Misfortunes,
that fpring from Diverfity of Conftitutions and Hu-
mours, or at leaſt ſupport with Patience what Prudence
can't avert, and fo improve Neceffity into a Vertue.
VI.
If God has blefs'd you with Children, fays the Scrip-
ture, Prov. vii. inftruct 'em. God has engrav'd this
Law in the very Heart of Nature, and more than once
promulg'd it in the Bible, that Parents might be well con-
vinc'd of this grand Duty, and be perfuaded to comply
with it; and yet it feems, that no Law is lefs underſtood,
and more univerfally neglected in Practice than this.
Some Parents, more cruel than the Oſtrich, bring poor
Creatures into the World, and then abandon 'em. O-
thers, like Apes, are fo fond of their Brood, they kill
'em with Kindnefs: Thofe are guilty of Negligence,
thefe of Indulgence; and all betray their Duty, and by
confequence their Confcience.
I have been often fcandaliz'd at the infupportable Neg-
lect of fome Parents; they made no Difference between
their Lackeys and their Children, but that they carefs'd
thofe, and eternally tormented thefe; they herded with.
the Grooms and Carters, and owed all their Education
to the Stable and Kitchen; and if they ſent 'em ſome-
times to School, 'twas only to rid the Houſe, not for their
Inftruction They never took the Pains to inform them-
felves, whether the Mafter was black or white; whe-
ther religious or impious; a Turk or a Chriftian. Good
God! faid I to Sir N. N. what do you mean? You will
not hire a Cook without examining his Talent, nor take a
Groom without good Security of his Skill; yet the one
is
!
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
85
is only to ſerve the Belly, the other to curry Horfes, and
will you truſt a Child to the Care of a Man, who for
ought you know, has neither Science nor Religion?
Nor have I beheld with Patience the doating Fondnefs
of others. I have ſeen my young Mafter often play the
Lion in the Family, and my tender Lady, the Mother,
applauded his Infolence, like the Romans in Seneca's Days.
She would embrace the Spark, when ſhe ſhould have chid
him; nay, and kifs him for thofe very things fhe fhould
have whipt him. To crofs the Child, is to ftab the Mo-
ther; and if he whimpers, fhe cries in good Earnest; his
Paffions grow upon him with Age, and a fooliſh Indul-
gence emboldens 'em; he asks what he pleaſes, and ob-
tains what he demands; a Refufal fets him on fire, and
then my young Jupiter begins to thunder: My Lady
trembles at the Tempeft fhe has raifed; and instead of
laying it by a fober Correction, fhe foolishly augments it
by a thouſand Careffes: He is coach'd to Company, to
Balls, and the Play-Houfe, and must be Spectator of
Mamma's Vanity and Follies to learn 'em. Poor Sir T.H.
faw this fine Menage, but was too dotingly fond of his
Wife to fave his Child. He complain'd one Day to me,
that his Son was fit for nothing, but either to dance or to
quarrel. You are miſtaken, faid I, have a little Pati-
ence, and he'll retaliate his Breeding upon you, with In-
folence and Outrage; he is as handfomely equipt for a
Rake, as can be ; nor was I deceived, for fince that he
flung himſelf away upon a Chamber-maid, dipt his E-
ſtate, perfecuted his Mother, and brought his Father with
Grief and Chagrin to his Grave.
You muſt know, Neander, that Man by Nature is
half Beaft; he has all the Inclinations, all the Paffions
of the moſt falvage Animal; and, what is worſe, he has
Reaſon to ſharpen 'em, and Malice to abuſe 'em. But
as the moſt fierce Lion is tam'd and render'd tractable
by Education and Difcipline, fo Man may be taught
Sweetneſs, Moderation and Vertue, if he be taken in
Hand betimes, if his Paffions are check'd, and forc'd to
obey the Commands of Reaſon, from the Cradle. But
when once Senfe has got the upper Hand, when Paffion
has tafted the Sweetnefs of Superiority, and Reafon is
accuſtomed to Slavery, you may as foon fubdue the
Fierceness of a full grown Tyger, as perfuade Senfe and
G 3
!
Appe-
i
4
86
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Appetite to refign the ufurp'd Government, or Reafon to
take it, Adolefcens juxta vitam fuam, & cum fenuerit non
recedet ab ea: A young Man goes on as he began, and
carries the firft Impreffion to the Grave. That you may
not therefore cry one Day with the poor Eagle in the Fa-
ble, who being mortally wounded by an Arrow trimmed
with her own Feathers, fighed out this melancholy Com-
plaint, Miferable Bird that I am! What a Fool was I to
bring forth Feathers to my own Deftruction! I fay, that
you may not complain, thofe Children you gave Life to,
are the Cauſe of your Death, obferve three things. First,
So foon as they are capable to know God, teach 'em to
fear his Juftice, and to love his Goodness; inftruct them
in Religion, and take Care they practiſe all the Duties of
à Chriftian. A Child that fears God, will love his Pa-
rents; he can't be religious without being dutiful. Incul-
cate a thouſand times, that he is made for Heaven, and
that he muſt live vertuouſly in this World, to be happy
in the next: Precaution him againſt the Vanity of the
World, and all its fpecious Scenes of Deceits and Pa-
geantry, that delude the Eye to feduce the Heart: Diſco-
ver the Danger before you expofe him, and tell him with
that admirable Queen Blanca, you had rather ſee him in
the Grave, than in Sin: Infpire not into his tender Breaſt
Defires of Grandeur; this is a Seed that ſprouts up without
fowing: Choak all tendency of fo early a Pride, or elfe
it will grow to his Ruin. I bluſh at the unchriftian Con-
duct of thofe Parents, who teach little Creatures, befóre
they can walk, to climb up to the very Pinnacle of Ho-
nour; who would make 'em Pages to Anti-Chrift to
be great, and would counſel 'em to be Mahometans for
the vain Satisfaction of ſeeing 'em Bafla's: When you
have furniſh'd 'em with Vertue, and provided for their
Soul, let 'em think of a Settlement, and aim rather at
a Poft that is genteel, than great: An elevated Fortune
is feldom obtained without vaft Crimes, and always fup-
ported by greater.
Secondly, Cultivate them with thoſe Arts and Sciences
that fuit with their Capacity and Condition. For thoſe
that have nothing to do, do always more than they
ought; and though they are unfit for a handfome Occu-
pation, they are capable of a vicious one.
Thirdly,
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
87
Thirdly, Give not all your Means to the Eldeft; leave
a Provifion for all: A young Gentleman that begins the
World without Money, ends it without Confcience:
When I muſt rack my Brain to live, I have neither time
nor leifure to think of living well. Neceflity is the Mo-
ther of Vice, no leſs than Abundance; and Want is both
more troubleſome than Affluence, and equally dangerous:
Beſides, how will you have a Gentleman puſh forward,
who has nothing to improve? Can he raiſe a Fortune
without Tools to work with, without a Fund to lay the
Foundation? Poverty palls the moft generous Spirits; it
cows Induſtry, and cafts Refolution itſelf into Deſpair.
When you have acquitted yourſelf of theſe three Points,
you have done the part of a Father; the reft you muſt
leave to Providence, who watches over its Creatures, and
never abandons thofe, who comply with their Duty.
VII.
Your Care must not ſtop at your Children, let it reach
your menial Servants; though you are their Mafter,
you are alſo their Father. And for this Reafon the Ro-
mans call'd Houfe-keepers Patres Familias, Fathers of the
Houſe-hold. Befides, as a Christian you are their Brother,
and have the Church of Chrift for your common Mother;
all thefe Relations deferve a Tenderneſs on the one fide,
and on the other impofe an Obligation on you to enquire
into their Behaviour, and to provide for their Inftruction;
don't fo overcharge 'em with Labour, that they can find
no time for God. You can't exact ſo continual a Ser-
vice, nor is it in their Power to comply with you. They
owe more Obedience to God than to you; and you
tranfgrefs your Duty, when your Commands croſs
upon his.
Nor is it fufficient to allow 'em time to look
into the Concerns of their Souls, you muſt fee they em-
ploy it well: Let 'em meet at Prayers at least once a Day,
and punish thoſe that neglect this Duty. Suffer not in
your Houſe a Debauchee, though never fo uſeful. Who
is a Traitor to his Maker, will betray a Mafter at the
firft Occafion. A Man without Confcience is always.
without Honefty. Befides, Lewdnefs and Knavery are
catching, and one infected Perfon fuffices to ſcat-
ter the Contagion. Take this for a Principle. The
more you take to Heart God's Intereft, the more he'll
G 4
take
88
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
take care of yours; he'll crown your Enterprizes with
Succefs, or raiſe your Soul above the Stroak of Misfor-
tune. In fine, you'll either enjoy Profperity with a Chri-
ſtian Moderation, or bear Adverfity with Pleaſure.
VIII.
Confine not Charity within the Walls of your own
Houfe, nor employ it wholly about the ſpiritual Good
of your Neighbour; let the Body feel the Effects of his
Tendernefs, as well as the Soul. When he groans under
the Pangs of Poverty, and ftruggles with Neceffity, re-
lieve his Indigence out of your own Store-Houfe; let
the Meaſure of your Charity be the Extent of your Abi-
lity; and of his Want: What you lay out on the Poor,
is not ſpent, but put to Intereft; God is Security for the
Reimburſement, fo that the Payment is infallible. I
have feen fome Gentlemen open-handed enough, but
then they difperfed their Charities with fo unhandſome a
Grace, that, methought, they did Ill in doing Good, and
refuſed an Alms whilft they gave one; they feemed to
infult over a poor Creature's Mifery, and feldom open'd
their Purſe, till they had vented their Gall. This is not
to relieve the Indigent, but to throw Shame upon Want,
and Confufion upon Neceffity; it's to hang Weight to
their Burthen, and to fret Poverty with Contempt: Be-
fides, it lofes the very Nature of Alms; for that is not
received gratis, that is purchafed with Blufhes, and at
the Expence of Patience. A compaffionate Look often-
times refreſhes more, than a Crown with a fevere one.
And (methinks). I had rather be fent away with a civil
God be with you, than be entertained with Peeviſhneſs
and ill Nature. A fmall Favour well timed, becomes
confiderable: The very manner of giving adds to the
Gift. Keep not therefore the Poor at a Bay, nor rack
'em with Queſtions; to what purpoſe do theſe Prelimi-
naries ferve, but either to feed your Curiofity, or to
fpend a fretting Humour? We are of the fame Nature;
our Bodies are made of the fame Clay, and our Souls
by the fame Hand. The difference between the Rich
and Poor comes not from Nature or Merit, but from the
Ordination of Providence. Some are born to no other
Eſtate than that of their Brethren's Charity, that they
may practife Patience; and others to Abundance, that
they
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
89
they may exerciſe Charity; fo that the Vertue of theſe
ſtand indebted to the Mifery of thoſe; and the Giver is
no lefs oblig'd than the Receiver.
IX.
Begin to practife the Vertues of a Chriftian betimes;
accuftom your Palate to 'em before you have tafted Vice,
they'll reliſh better; a fmall Refolution plains the Way
to Heaven in the Beginning, and turns Godliness into
Pleafure; but if you ftay till Sins have flush'd the Paffi-
ons, and fharpen'd Appetite, nothing but Violence can
fecure you; you will not be able to advance one Step
without a Combat; you muft fight your way through
all the Squadrons, the Fleſh, the World, and the Devil
will draw up to oppofe you; and when theſe Enemies are
headed by vicious Habits, God knows, whether you
will ever be fo hardy, as even to attempt a Conqueſt ſo
hazardous on the one fide, and fo laborious on the other.
X.
Indeed a Chriftian Behaviour among Gentlemen is
fo unufual, that you muft venture to be out of Faſhion,
you muſt ſtand the Shock of Raillery, and perchance the
Stroak of a Lampoon; but thefe Weapons ftick in the
Skin, and although they are pufh'd on with all the Vio-
lence of Malice and Profaneneſs, are not able to draw
Blood, or to touch your Reputation. I have often been
aftoniſh'd at fome Gentlemen, who practifed Vertue at
Home, and Vice in Company; who betray'd their Con-
fcience to avoid a Blufh. This is, faid I, to fall into the
wretched Blindneſs of fome favage Indians, who adore
the Devil, that he may do 'em no Harm. If Rakes glory
in Evil, why fhould you be ashamed at Good? That
carries along its Condemnation, and this its Juftificati-
on. Surely Shame fits more naturally on Guilt than In-
nocence.
But could we dive into a wicked Man's Heart, could we
pierce into his Soul, we fhould read moft vifible Traces of
Shame and Confufion, every Moment he cafts an Eye.
on his Vices, and his Neighbour's Vertues. For let me
tell you, Neander, Piety has an amiable Afpect, it charms
its very Perfecutors, and even thoſe who ftigmatize it in
Practice, admire its Beauty. So that though fometimes
they
90
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
they let fly a Raillery, and fhoot a Joke, theſe petty
Arrows fly at Random, and never come near your Ho-
nour: Nay, take it for a general Rule, that thoſe Rakes,
who flirt at a Chriftian Demeanour, have a fecret Eſteem
for it.
Oh, faid one, I muft draw in my Piety, and mew it
within my own Walls; I have almoſt loft my Chriſtian
Name, and am fcarce known, but by that of Bigot.
Pray, Sir, faid I, let us not ftartle at Sounds, nor run
away from Buffoons; let us conftrue the Word, and
frame right Notions, and then we fhall find, that Bigot
in the Jargon of Reprobates is nothing elſe but a Man
that believes Religion, and dares profefs it; that boggles
at Oaths, and blufhes at Perjuries; that will elevate his
Spirits with old Hock, or new Champaign, but not drown
his Reafon; that has not Courage to laugh at Hell, nor
the Impudence to play upon Heaven; that fometimes
does good Actions, and always fears bad ones. This is
the Height of a Bigot's Devotion, according to the mo-
dern Uſe of the Word; fo that it imports nothing hurt-
ful, nothing infamous, unleſs it be a Difgrace to profeſs
Honeſty upon Occaſions, to practiſe Morality, and to
have a good Conſcience.
But let Debauchees burleſque your Piety, muft you
abandon it? Will you abjure Chriftianity, becauſe ſome
Libertines fport with Religion; or commence Atheiſt, to
humour Fools? Why then will you be ſcared out of Pie-
ty, or teazed out of Morality? Is it honourable in Spight
of Raillery to acknowledge a God, and a Difgrace to
ferve him? Is it a Credit to be a Chriftian, and a Shame
to be a good one? No certainly; let us put things toge-
ther, and act confequently; let us call in Reaſon to go-
vern Fancy.
Befides, who are thofe Men that awe us? A Club of
Animals, that have more Money than Wit, and more
Quality than Confcience; a Pack of Hectors, that live
ill, and judge worfe; that are pitied by fome, and
fcorned by others; the very Panegyricks of theſe Men
are Satyrs, Praife out of their Mouths is fcandalous, and
Blame is glorious. Neander, fuffer not your ſelf to be
laugh'd out of Heaven, nor rallied into Hell; if you
can't bear the reproaching Frowns and Smiles of a Man,
how will ye endure the Frowns of an angry Deity? If
1
the
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
91
the Lafh of a petulant Tongue be fo fenfible, affure your
felf the Pains of Fire and Brimftone will be more inſup-
portable. Vertue in a Dungeon is preferable to Sin on
the Throne, and Innocence in the Pillory is more ho-
nourable than Guilt on the Bench.
XI.
If you love your Soul, and refolve to fave it, avoid
the Converfation of Libertines and Atheiſts; like the Ba-
filisk, their Eyes dart Poifon, and their Tongues ſpeak
Death: They are Satan's Deputies, and Devils by Proxy.
A Libertine is half Fiend, half Beaft; Pleaſure is his
Summum Bonum; this he places in Sin like the Devil,
and in Mire like the Swine; he circles from the Tavern
to the Play-houſe, from hence to the Stews, and returns
to his Lodging the fame way; fo that his whole Study is
to learn Wickednefs, and his whole Bufinefs to practife
it; his Difcourfe is a Compound of Smut and Blafphe-
my; his Entertainment unchriftian, and his Dialect dia-
bolical; he would feign monopolize the Wit of the Na-
tion, but wants both Fund and Patent; his Knowledge
reaches no further than the Gazette or the Courant, and
on Occafions he ventures to vent Nonfenfe in Metre;
his Religion is univerfal, calculated for all Meridians;
he has one for à Calm, another for a Storm; one for
Europe, another for America; fo that it's as difficult to
be defined as a Disjunctive; in England he ſtickles for his
Biſhops; in Scotland againft 'em; he is a Jew at Amfter-
dam, a Muffulman at Conftantinople; a Papist at Rome,
and a Calvinist at Geneva: In a Word, he is any thing
without, and nothing within; fo that his whole Religion
turns upon Convenience and Intereft, and is comprized
in theſe Verſes.
Queft. What's Orthodox and true Believing
Against a Confcience? Anfw. A good Living.
Queft. What makes Rebelling against Kings
A good old Caufe? Anfw. Adminiftrings.
Queſt. What makes all Doctrine plain and clear?
Anfw. About two hundred Pounds a Year.
Queft. And that which was prov'd true before
Prove falfe again? Anfw. Two hundred more.
XII. An
92
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
XII.
An Atheiſt is an overgrown Libertine; and if we be-
lieve his own Genealogy, he is a By-blow begot by Ha-
zard, and flung into the World by Neceffity; he moves
by Wheels, and has no more Soul than a Wind-mill; he
is thruft on by Fate, and acts by meer Compulfion; he
is no more Maſter of his Deeds than of his Being; and
therefore is as conftant to his Word as the Wind to the
fame Corner; fo that an Atheiſt by his own Principles is
a Knave per fe, and an honeſt Man only per accidens.
In fine, he starts out of Duft, and vanishes into nothing.
Nean. All my Concerns are in the Hand of a Man
who will not be very fond of this Character, yet he fets
up for an Atheist, and fupports the Fraternity with Ar-
guments and Authority.
A
Eufeb. Neander, difcharge him out of Hand, he'll cer-
tainly ruin your Soul, and may poffibly embezzle your
Eftate. A round Hurricane of Atoms may drive him in-
to the Poffeffion of your Lands, and you out of 'em.
brisk Puff may conveigh out of fight a neceflary Inden-
ture, or raife high the Bill of Reparations; there is no
coming near a Man with Safety, that's void of Confci-
ence; no truſting him that acts by Fates, or moves by
Deſtiny; if he be a Slave to impulfe, he is not Maſter of
his Honeſty.
Nean. Tho' he abjures God, he upholds Reaſon, and
keeps touch with Probity; he values Honour, and would
forfeit Life to maintain it.
Eufeb. Then he is made up of Contradictions, and one
part of his Creed ftabs the other; if there be no God,
your Friend is the Spawn of Cafualty; the Child of Mat-
ter and Motion, a heap of Duft with a Complex of Ubi-
cations,a Figure without Soul, a Statue without Life; he
is all Matter like Beafts, no more capable of Reaſon than
an Ape, of Vertue than Balaam's Afs, or of Honour
than Caligula's Conful. In fine, withdraw your Con-
cerns, or you may one Day repent your Confidence: For
I muſt once for all tell you, Honour without Conſcience,
without Religion, will yield to Intereft.
Nean. This cannot be done ſo ſoon; endeavour, I be-
feech you, to gain him; overturn his Principles, and the
Conqueft will be eafy; you can't oblige him more than
by
C
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
93
by entering into a Difpute; and the ſhorteſt way to win
his Favour, is to quarrel with his Tenets.
Eufeb. Disputes indeed are natural to Atheiſts; for no
Men maintain with greater Eagerness they are in the Right,
than thoſe that fufpect they are in the Wrong; like Men
in a dangerous Road, they love to travel in Company,
and fo draw in Profelytes to march to Hell with a Ca-
ravan.
But, Neander, this Itch of arguing is a terrible Argu-
ment, they are feared with Doubts, and haunted with
Sufpicions that God is no Chimæra, it's a Sign that Con-
fcience is uneafy, and makes fome Attempts to break all
the Barriers of Ignorance, Pride and Blafphemy.
However, I'll comply with your Defires, and wait up-
on the Gentleman when you command me: Although I
muſt tell you, a converted Atheiſt is a Phoenix ſcarce feen
in an Age; for he is a Mixture of Pride and Ignorance,
of much Senfe and little Reafon; he confutes Arguments.
with Laughter, and pretends to frown Demonſtration
it felf into Sophiftry. How can Truth (I do not fay
fubdue) but even reach fuch a Man? You may as foon
fetch down the Moon with a Cannon-Ball, as convince
him.
Nean. It's true, but Charity armed with folid Reaſons
may perchance foften his Obftinacy; and although you
lofe your Labour, you'll meet at leaft in the next World
the Reward of your Zeal. I'll tell him you intend to
make him a Vifit.
Eufeb. I am content, Neander, I have drawn a ſhort
Scheme of your Duty, and wifh you fo happy as to com-
ply with it; it will prove the beft Support of this Life,
and the greateſt Comfort in the other. God has interwo-
ven Man's Felicity with his Duty, and twifted his Inte-
reft with Pleafure. A good Man is feldom uneafy, and
an ill one is always unquiet; one must be blind not to
diſcover the Canker at his Heart through all the glitter-
ing Pageantry of Greatnefs and Power: he may rant
and laugh, but can't be merry: for certainly there is a
great Difference between Noife and Mirth; their Lives
are as unlike as their Ends; and thofe are as different as
the Pains of the Damned are from the Joys of the
Bleffed.
"Neander
94
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
"Neander took leave of Eufebius, with a Promiſe to
"call upon him the next Morning. He went immedi-
"ately to Theomachus's Lodgings; (this was the Atheift's
Name) he open'd freely his Defign, and ask'd him, If
"Bufinefs would permit him to enter upon a Conference
"with Eufebius.
"Theomachus received the Propofal with a Tranfport
"of Joy, and told Neander he was infinitely oblig❜d to
"him, for offering fo fair an Occafion of making Ac-
quaintance with a Man fo much talk'd of: For (con- .
"tinued he) I have often heard great Commendations
"both of his Vertue and Learning, and fhall by this In-
"terview be able to judge, whether his Merits equal his
"Fame. Befides, the Greatnefs of my Adverfary will
"fecure my Credit, though Fortune declare againſt me.
"Neander, after fome mutual Compliments, returned
"to his Lodgings, with a Refolution to mind Theomas
"chus of his Promife the next Morning.
The End of the First Part:
200
A SUP-
A
SUPPLEMENT
TO THE
FIRST PART
OF THE
Gentleman Inftructed;
With a WORD to the
LADIE S.
Written for the
INSTRUCTION of the Young NOBILITY
of both SEXES.
LONDON:
Printed in the Year 1732.
( 97 )
ΤΗΕ
PUBLISHER
TO THE
LADIES and GENTLEMEN.
Ladies and Gentlemen,'
A
LTHO' it be not within the Power of Man to
write ſo nicely, as to leave the Criticks nothing to
refine upon; yet there are fome, whofe Perfor-
mances come nigher up to it, and hit much better with the
Goû of the Times, than others. Among these we may pre-
fume to reckon The firft Part of the Gentleman Inftru-
Eted; which was ſcarce well fet out, before it was at the
End of its firft Edition; and having run the fecond with
the fame Success, in the third, it was defervedly took up
into a Dedication; in which, as it gain'd not little on Ac-
count of the honourable Perfon it was prefented to, fo it
received no small Advantage from the ingenious Remarks of
the Dedicator; whofe Elogiums are fo well thought, bis
Thoughts fo well exprefs'd, and his Expreffions fo well put
together, that tho' the Work itself were of no Value, yet
one would buy the Book for the Dedication.
It was the Author's Defire of being unknown, which
made him willing to pass for being Dead; but this Supple-
ment, which is the genuine Off Spring of the fame Pen,
has too much of him in it, not to convince the World be is
Still alive; and whoever reads the fecond Part, will find
there, fuch a Harmony of Thought and Expreffion with
H
the
•
98 The PUBLISHER to the, &c.
1
the first, that if the Author had been dead, one would als
moft conclude him rifen again to write it. In a Word, be
is certainly alive; and 'tis hop'd his growing Efteem will
encourage him to oblige the Publick with many ſuch defer-
ving Pieces.
His Defign in this is to inftruct the Nobility of both
Sexes in their Duty; and to chalk out the fureft and short-
eft Way to Content in this World, and the Glory in the next.
This is without doubt an advantageous Discovery, which
fo nearly concerns you, that I hope you will take the Pro-
pofals into Confideration. And methinks the Author fo
handsomely reconciles Greatness to Goodness, and all the
Prerogatives of Quality to the Precepts of the Gospel, that
you must either have forfeited Reafon, or have bid adieu to
Religion, if you refuse to practise the Method he preſcribes :
For who but Fools and Atheists will refign all Pretenfions
to a future Blifs, for any temporal Enjoyment, when he
may live great here, and happy hereafter?
Ladies, Soldiers, and Courtiers will find here the Caufes
of their Miscarriages, and the Remedies: And if a bare
expofing of your Failures over-heat the Spleen, and awaken
Indignation; furely the Gentleman's Antidote will lay theſe
unjust Resentments; and perfuade you to acknowledge, that
be bad been lefs charitable, if he had been more indulgent.
A SUP
( 99 )
A
SUPPLEMENT
To the FIRST PART
OF THE
Gentleman Inftructed, &c.
E
DIALOGUE I.
The Cauſe of the following Dialogues.
USEBIUS prepar'd for the Rendezvous, and
refolv'd to attack the Atheist next Day: But an
unforeſeen Accident deferr'd the Meeting.
A Club of young Blades that Evening filed off from
the Play-houſe to ſtorm fome Bottles of Champaign.
Eleutherias led on the Brigade, and march'd at the
Head of the Battalion. And indeed, he was compleatly
equipt for the Adventure. His Purfe was arm'd with
Silver, and his Confcience with Steel. They attack'd the
Enemy with Courage, and bore on with Reſolution. All
proteſted againſt Quarter, (as brave Friburgen did at Cre-
mona) and ſo refoly'd to ſtand till they fell in the Enter-
prize.
H 2
But
100 A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
But if the Affailants did Execution, Champaign did
more: It tilted at the Head, and made directly at the
Brain. One dropp'd under the Table, an Huzza waited
upon him to the Ground; and Morpheus ftept in to play
the Surgeon.
The Misfortune of one breathes Vigour into the other;
they carry on manfully the Attack: Their Heads run
round with the Glaffes; their Tongues ride Poft; their
Wits are jaded; and Reafon is diftanc'd. Brutes could
not talk better, nor Men worfe: Like Skippers in a Storm,
they rather hollow'd than ſpoke; fcarce one heard his.
Neighbour, and not one underſtood him: So that Noife
ftood for Senfe, and every one paſs'd for a Virtuoſo, be-
caufe all play'd the Fool to Extravagance.
The Subject of their Heat was no lefs furprizing than
the Management of it; and both ridiculous to Amaze-
ment. Sorrel (cries one with an Oath) is the moſt com-
pleat Nag in England; and then he threw among the
Company fuch a Bedroll of Jockey-Jargon, that one
would think he had fwept the Stable feven Years, or ferv'd
an Apprenticeſhip to a Farrier. From Terms of Arts he
goes on to a Leffon of Proportion. He diffects the Ani-
mal; and flings the Anatomy on the Table; then he
flouriſhes on his Feats, and fwears he is famous in the
Journal of New-Market. Nay, I am told, the Gentle-
man proteſted, Sorrel was as well born as himself; that in
a collateral Line he touch'd the greater Beucephalus, and
was a Coufin, once remov'd, to Caligula's Conful.
Wine had heated the Company's Blood; but this ſhort
Panegyrick inflam'd it. They could not agree to Sorrel's
Atchievements, nor fuffer him to monopolize the Per-
fections of his Species; every Man ftood up in Defence
of his own Rozinante, and maintain'd his juft Preroga-
tives with Heat and Clamour. But whilft the Diſpute
run high, their Wits funk low with the Bottles; Senfe
flumber'd, and Reafon almoft fell into a Lethargy.
From the Stable they trip over to the Kennel, and leave
Horſes, to philofophize on Hounds. They follow the
Chace with Tumult; one would have taken 'em for a
Pack of Beagles on the Scent, but that they open'd louder..
All this while the Glaffes circle, Reafon ebbs, Extrava-
gance flows, and Mirth flies out into Madneſs.
And
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
ΙΟΙ
And now our Gallants were handfomely equipp'd for
any Villany. Champaign had fir'd their Blood, intoxi-
cated Reafon, and drowned Shame. They fell upon their
Maker without Fear, without Scruple. Some worry his
Juſtice, whilft others buffoon his Mercy. The Juice of
the Grape had fwell'd thefe petty Pigmies into daring Gi-
ants, who canonaded Heaven, and defied the Omnipotent.
Indeed their Drunkenneſs made fome Atonement for
their Blafphemies: But after all, it's a fad Cafe, when a
Man is better for being transform'd into a Beaſt, and leſs
fooliſh for having loft his Wits.
One proteſted againſt all Religions but that of Epicure :
Against all Heavens but that of Mahomet: And againſt
all Hells, but Want of Champaign or Canary. Another
would not receive the Lord's Prayer without an Amend-
ment. To petition for Bread (faid he) has more of the
Beggar, than of the Gentleman. And futes better with
the Poor of the Pariſh, than with the Lord of the Manor.
Let us at leaſt (faid he) tack to daily Bread, one Bot-
tle of Burgundy. The Motion met with Applaufe :
Every one follow'd the Propofal with a Comment ten
times more outragious than the Text. They rioted on:
Impiety and the moſt rampant Infolence pafs'd for the
moſt refined Wit. Nay, to fcrew Outrage to the high-
eft Point, Oh! fays one, give me Religio Medici, this
Religion at large is a healing Profeffion: It reconciles the
Crofs with the Crefcent, and ftrikes an Alliance bc-
tween the Son of Mary, and the Son of Abdala. Thus
is the Goſpel deliver'd up to the Rabble, and a petty A-
theiſtical Pamphlet lock'd up in the Ark. Our Saviour's
Doctrine must give Place to the Vifions of an irreligious
Quack, more fit to gaze upon Urinals, than to talk of
Religion.
Had their Difcourfe been innocent, their Madnefs had
been diverting: But to hear Chriftians turn God into
Farce, and Religion into Romance; revile Sanctity, and
play with Juſtice, is monftrous and provoking. For what
can be more amazingly flagitious, than to make God the
Subject of our Sport, and the Goſpel of our Diverſion?
Than to throw the moft auguft and the moft trifling things
into the fame Compofition? And to blend Majefty and
Omnipotence with Laughter and Frenzy?
H 3
The
?
102 A SUPPLEMENT to the firft Part
The Proverb fays, Who murthers when he is drunk, muft
hang for it when he is fober. I would have it pafs into á
ftanding Law, and take in Blafphemers. The Fear of
a red hot Iron might poflibly put 'em in Mind of Fire and
Brimftone, and the Dread of paffing for ftigmatiz'd Vil-
lains in this World, might ſcare them into an Apprehen-
fion of living eternally Reprobates in the next.
By this time Eleutherius had feiz'd on the Chair, and
began to hold forth on the Text of ede, bibe. He was a
Libertine at full Growth, a Latitudinarian in Principle,
and by Confequence an Atheiſt in Practice. Epicure was
his Cafuift, and Hobbs his Divine.
To your Arms, Gentlemen (bawls he) the Enemy has
taken the Field, and advances to beat up our Quarters.
Our Privileges gafp, and our great Prerogative lies bleed-
ing. Nothing but Refolution can retrieve 'em.
The Company gaz'd at this unexpected Exordium.
Some cry'd out Thieves, others a French Invafion; but
moft concluded, the Monfieurs could fcarce land without
Veffels; unless they follow'd the Road of the Compostella
Pilgrims, or preſt fome Teams of Domingo's Ganzes. But
the Orator perceiving the Surprize, foon laid their Fright,
and calm'd their Fear. Gentlemen (continued he) our
Enemies are domeftick, not foreign; and they prepare
Chains for our Confciences, not for our Bodies. In a
Word, they preach up Vertue, and cant down Pleaſure;
entail Heaven on the one, and Hell on the other.
Yet, did they confine this Obligation of Self-denial to
the Clergy, or the Sex, I would fit down, and only ſmile
at the Impoſture. But alas! they even ſtrike at our un-
queftionable Prerogative, and bring Gentlemen within
the Lafh of the Statute. We must forfooth fling up our
Claim to Heaven, unleſs we ſtarve in the Face of Plenty.
We ſhall cry out in the next World for Water to cool our
parch'd Tongues, if we bathe 'em with Burgundy in this.
Theſe new-coin'd Tenets are fet on Foot, and abetted
in London, nay, in the very Sight of the Play-houſe and
Tavern.
I met this Morning one Eufebius, the grand Patriarch
of thefe dangerous Morals: His Perfon feems as out-
landiſh as his Doctrine, and his Mind no leſs heterodox
than his Principles: He is a Compound of Jew and In-
fidel, Pharifee on the one Side, and Stoick on the other:
i
His
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 103
His Gate is as grave as the old Duke of Alva's, and as
ftarch'd as that of his Majefty of Pegu: But his Tongue
rides Poft, and is a kind of Motus perpetuus; and like
old Diogenes, or Timon, is always upon the Satyr. In
fine, I took the Man for Penance in Perfon, and Mor-
tification in Querpo; for a meer Mummy pickled in
Myrrh, and bak'd in Bitumen, Gentlemen, cries he,
mut low Appetite, baulk Senſe, and curb Nature: They
muft war upon the Flefh, reprefs its Sallies, and diet it
into Obedience: They must be humble in Grandeur, poor
in Wealth, and meek in Spight of Provocation: They
muſt melt down their Swords into Croffes, and turn their
fine Holland Shirts into Sackcloth. Is not this to lay us
on our Backs? To break down the Encloſure between
Quality and Peafantry, and to call in our Patents? Drud-
gery is the Portion of Clowns, Pleaſure the Inheritance
of Gentlemen: I could not indeed confute his Sophifms.
with Reaſon, but will by Practice. And if I am not
miftaken, one Fact weighs more than a thoufand Spe-
culations. Let us ftrangle this new-born Brat in the Cra-
dle. Principiis obfta is a nice Maxim: A Spark contemn'd
breaks often into a Flame. New Errors are as highly re-
ceiv'd into our Ifland as new Faſhions, and we are just as
conftant to our Principles as to our Amours.
The Harangue was receiv'd with Applaufe, and all vo-
ted a Remedy. Some would filence Eufebius with a Ba-
ftinado, and others with Reafon. They pitch'd upon the
laft Opinion as more civil, and lefs dangerous.
An Interview is refolv'd. But who will take up the
Cudgels, and cloſe with the Enemy? Eleutherius found
no Inclination to meaſure Weapons with a victorious Foe.
The firft Engagement had cool'd his Appetite. He had
fhot all his Ammunition, and like our German Allies, ex-
pected a Bill of Exchange to furniſh his Magazine with
new Provifion.
The Expedition, fays one of the Company, is of too
great Confequence to be committed to Eleutherius's Con-
duct; he has been once fool'd, and a fecond Attempt, ill
manag'd, may give an entire Overthrow to our Caufe.
To be foil'd and foil'd, fays another with a Smile, may
pafs for fynonymous in his Cafe; the Senfe comes as near
as the Letters, and the Signification of either may equally
be apply'd to him,
H 4
Eles-
1
104
A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
Eleutherius was furpriz'd at the Glance, and the Sar-
cafm call'd for a Blufh; but Wine prevented the Con-
fufion; for it having taken Poffeffion of his Cheeks, they
could admit no other Colour; tho' to ſpeak Truth, E-
leutherius had a great Command over his Blood, and was
within an Ace, as much Maft of his Face as of his Con-
ſcience.
However, he proteſted againſt the Calumny, yet with
too much Heat to be innocent; the Wine had warm'd
his Courage, but this fet it on Fire. The Confult had
ended in a civil War, had not one of the Company inter-
pos'd, and kept the Peace between her Majeſty's Subjects.
Nay, he undertook the Command of the Expedition: So
that having provided for the Encounter, they reel'd to
their Lodgings, tho' fome took up in the Kennel.
DIALOGUE II.
A Proſecution of the ſame Subject.
WHILST Eleutherius prepar'd against Eufebius on
the one Side,his Lady (whom I call Emilia) mufter'd
Troops on the other. Yefterday's Difcourfe lay hard on
her Ladyfhip's Stomach. The Gentlewoman was down-
right Crop-fick, and nothing but Revenge was able to
carry off the Humour. She had been fo inur'd to Com-
pliments, that ſhe could not digeſt Eufebius's Freedom.
Flattery had plac'd her among the Beauties, and Favour
voted her a Wit. She was fond of the Promotion, and
by an innate Pride, common to the Sex, afcribed the
whole Preferment to Merit, and nothing to Courteſy.
Now, this Lady, fo gaudy in Conceit, could not endure
to receive Reproof for Incenfe, nor unpalatable Truths
for fawning Courtship. She dreaded a fincere Tongue
no leſs than a true Glafs, and would no more fuffer her
Conduct to be queftioned than her Complexion. Eufe-
bius indeed had handled her Ladyfhip without Ceremo-
ny, but her Diſeaſe was mortal: Like an honeft Sur-
geon, he would not fpare the Saw to flatter the Patient.
However, he ftept not over the Rules of Breeding, but
kept
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 105
kept within the Bounds of Decency: But he could not
applaud her Follies, nor canonize her Irregularities. She
was wedded to the World. He told her fhe embrac'd a
Shadow, that once would betray her Hopes, and thwart
her Expectation with Difappointment: That the might
retrieve her Folly by a timely Divorce; but that dilatory
Put-offs are generally follow'd by an untimely Repent-
ance. Eufebius might have expected from her Court-
Breeding, a civil Return for fo charitable a Caveat. E-
milia was in the wrong, but ſhe would not be fet right.
She pofted to Hell, yet would needs be told fhe took the
high Way to Heaven: And becaufe the good old Gen-
tleman poftponed her Favour to her Happineſs, and re-
fuſed to purchaſe her bonnes Graces at the Expence of her
Soul, fhe flew into a Fury, and repaid his Charity with
Satyr and Declamation. Nay, fome affirm Paffion had
almoſt ſtopp'd Reſpiration, and that ſhe had certainly ex-
pir'd of a Syncop, had fhe not taken Coach, and thrown
off the ftifling Humour in the Bofoms of a Female Juncto,
with whom the pafs'd the Evening.
Emilia found the Ladies in a Commotion, their Con-
verſation was clamorous, and too earneft to be indiffe-
rent. Indeed a kind of South-Eaft Wind had ruffled their
Temper, and blown their Tongues into Diſorder. The
French Packet-Boat brought over the Alarm, and Lucia
(fo I call the Lady) paid the Poft a Shilling for the Mor-
tification. To be fhort, this Gentlewoman entertain'd
an Envoy at the French Court to give Intelligence how
Modes ebb'd and flow'd; when they firft appear'd; when
like to expire; which were more proper for forty, which
for fixteen; which for a rifing, which for a fetting Beau-
ty. She received freſh Advice, that the French King had
forbid the wearing of Gold Lace, and that all below a
Countefs lay under the Prohibition; that he had clipp'd
Commodes, and taken the Sex a Story lower; that the
Duchefs of Burgundy immediately undrefs'd, and ap-
'pear'd in a Fontagne of the new Standard; that his Ma-
jefty had a Defign againſt Top-knots; and had paſs'd in
Council an Act against the Tranſportation of Waſhes and
Pomatums.
This unexpected Intelligence wrought like diatur bith
cum Rhea, Paffion flufh'd in their Faces, and burft out of
their Mouths. The Grand Lewis was commanded to the
Bar,
106 A SUPPLEMENT to the firft Part
Bar, and pronounced guilty of a high Miſdemeanour; he
was handled by this Female Bench as Cavalierly, as the
Salamanca Doctor by Sir George Jefferies; and his exor-
bitant Power receiv'd more Laſhes in an Hour, than at
the Hague, or Vienna, in a Twelve-month,
The Sun, fays one, in all his Voyages never faw a more
imperious Prince; he drives at univerfal Monarchy, his
Defires out-ftretch his Dominions, nothing is able to
glut his Ambition but the Slavery of Europe; he has be-
fieged Towns theſe threeſcore Years, now he falls foul
upon Faſhions, and hectors at the Toilet as he huffs in
the Field.
This is, continued another, an Inroad upon our Privi-
lege, and a manifeft Invafion of our Right; to model
Dreffes, is the chief Branch of our Prerogative; nay, it's
our proper Chattel; in a Word, it's an Employment en-
tailed on our Sex.
Indeed, I am told, fays a third, French Laws reach
not our Ifland; they are contraband here no leſs than
their Wines: But tho' there be no Commerce of Trade,
there is of Modes: We are always French without, tho'
feldom within; and though we hate their Soldiers, we
dote on their Taylors and Sempftreffeș. We fhould there-
fore ſee the Waiters, and feize on the reform'd Ware at
the landing; nay, and indict the Seamen upon the Sta-
tute of no Commerce with France.
Emilia expected a Queve with Impatience, and now
fhe thought to eaſe her Mind, and to lay open the Cauſe
of her Chagrin to the Company. Alas! faid fhe, our
Privileges are not only rifled at Paris, they are clipp'd at.
London: The diftinguifhing Marks of Birth and Title are
defaced; and the Maid ftands on the fame Level with my
Lady: Then the entertain'd the Club with the Dialogue
between herſelf and Eufebius, and follow'd the Text
with an exafperating Comment: Nay, fhe mifrepre-
fented the Difcourfe to fit it for Satyr, and foifted in ſome
grating Expreffions to provoke Refentment: The Ha-
rangue tired the Audience, and almoft threw a Leafh of
Ladies into Fits. They loft Patience, and even Breeding:
Paffion feiz'd on Reaſon, and Revenge gave Liberty to
the Tongue. When Spite and Impotence meet, no-
thing is more clamorous and extravagant.
But
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
107
But above all Emilia was remarkable: Nature had fa-
your'd her with a voluble Tongue; and her mercurial
Temper, heated with Revenge, improv'd its Motion to
Admiration: So that it run at the Rate of ten Miles an
Hour, and laſh'd Eufebius without Mercy or Interrupti-
on. They leave Monfieur at Verfailles to chaftife Eufe-
bius at London: He was to be brought upon his Knees
firft, and then to do Penance before the Congregation:
But theſe fevere Refolutions were the Effect of the firſt
Heat, Time cool'd their Fury, and wrought them into
Terms of a more reaſonable Satisfaction. They thought
therefore fit to compound with the Gentleman upon theſe
Articles. 1. That he crav'd Pardon of the Ladies for af-
fronting their Character in the Perfon of Emilia. 2. That
he acknowledged the Doctrine he had advanc'd was hete-
rodox; rather ſpoken out of Inadvertence than Malice,
and more to carry on Difcourfe, than to impofe an Ob-
ligation. 3. That thefe Words of our Saviour, be perfect,
rather intimate a Counſel than a Command: And that
they concern neither the Dutchefs, Counteſs, nor Gen-
tlewoman. 4. That the forefaid Perfons are exempt from
the Cumbrances of the Gofpel, and lie under no Law but
of their Pleaſure. Emilia and Lucia drew up theſe Con-
ditions, and were deputed by the Junto to prefent them
to Eufebius. In the mean Time the good Man went to
Bed, never dreaming of their Deſigns; and ignorant of
the Work thefe two Cabals had cut him out for the next
Day's Employment.
DIALOGUE III.
Eufebius lays open the irregular Conduct of Ladies.
F Milia and Lucia drove away betimes the next Mor-
ning to Eufebius's Lodging. They generouſly for once
proke their Sleep to execute their Commiflion; and ex-
pos'd their Health to the Morning Vapours for the com-
mon Concern of the Sex. Eufebius ftarted at the Earli-
nefs of the Vifit, and began to fufpect this unufual Ap-
pearance, like monftrous Births, portended a Turn of
State; or threatning Inundation, or Earthquakes: To
rife
4
1
108 A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
rife by Candle-light, and to fet out before the Sun, is not
only a Breach of Cuftom, but a Violation of the Cere-
monial of Ladies; univerfally they must not begin their
Journies till Phoebus has almoſt ended his, nor lay down
to fleep till he prepares to rife. However, Eufebius re-
membred his Duty in the Height of his Surprize, and re-
ceived the Deputies with a Refpect. He would fain have
regaled them with a Difh of Chocolate, but they refu-
fed the Offer: For indeed, they had already, by Way of
Precaution, armed themfelves against the Serena with a
Caudle.
Emilia open'd her Commiffion, and read her Creden-
tials; then, I am fent, faid fhe, by a felect Committee
of Ladies to require Satisfaction. You are, Sir, I pre-
fume, continued fhe, too guilty to deny the Charge, and
too much a Gentleman not to ask our Pardon.
Eufebius could ſcarce keep Countenance at this unex-
pected Harangue; and indeed, had not her Ladyfhip wept
like April, he might have turn'd the Scene into Farce and
Comedy. Indeed fhe wept fo heartily, one would have
thought her favourite Lap-dog lay gaſping, or that ſome
American Planter had kidnapp'd the little Animal, to
tranfplant the Species into Virginia. It was not Repen-
tance for her Sins melted her Heart, and drew down theſe
plentiful Showers: No, no, Vexation alone open'd the
Flood-gates of her Eyes, and caft her into this whimper-
ing Distemper. Eufebius, as I faid, had catechifed her
Ladyfhip, and ſhe took his Freedom in Dudgeon: She
miſtook his Charity for Difrefpect, and thought herſelf
affronted, becauſe he paid lefs Reſpect to her Follies, than
to her Perfon; for great Ladies expect Flattery even for
thoſe Extravagancies for which they are in Danger of ſuf-
fering Fire and Brimftone hereafter. Now the very Sight
of Eufebius boil'd up her Refentment to the Brim, and
becauſe it found not an eafy Iffue through the Tongue, it
broke a Paffage through the Eyes.
Eufebius feeing Emilia in this Situation, thought open
Raillery unfeatonable, and yet he could not refolve to be
ferious. He took therefore a Mean, and between Ear-
neft and Jeſt; you are, Madam, I perceive, faid he, a
publick Minifter, and this Lady is your Adjoint. Why
was not I advertis'd of your coming; I might have, pre-
par'd the Sopka, or borrow'd her Majefty's Coaches to
con
❤
of the GENTLEMAN Inſtructed. · tog
*
1.
conduct you to Audience. But feeing you are pleas'd to
appear Incognito, let my Ignorance apologize for this poor
Reception.
You tell me, I am guilty of Leze Majeſty againſt La-
dies; certainly a crime of fo monftrous a Size would fly
in my Face, unleſs my Memory were fhort, or my Con-
fcience harden'd. Yet though Age hath not wore out
the one, nor my Morals feered the other, I am not con-
ſcious of the Trefpafs. No, I reſpect their Quality, and
have a regard for their Perfons, when attended by Merit,
and waited on by Vertue; but when I find no Fund of
Excellency, but the Feminine Gender; a dignified Hus-
band, or a gaudy Manteau, I referve my Efteem for
more deferving Objects.
Luc. How, Sir! Have you the Confidence to plead not
guilty before Emilia? Refresh your Memory, caft a Re-
flection upon Yefterday's Converfation! Was it genteel?
Was it managed by the ftrict Rules of Decorum? You
forgot her Station and your own.
Eufeb. You muſt not wonder, Madam, if I deny the
Indictment; the Law allows it to Criminals, it's the Style
of the Court. Now, I fuppofe, you will not refuſe me the
Privilege of the Bar. But however, I had I confefs the
Honour to argue a Point with Emilia, and the Misfor-
tune to diſpleaſe her. Yet the Offence was meerly per-
fonal, it reach'd not the Court, much leſs the whole Sex.
I prefume every Woman is not Legion. And that Affronts,
like Diſeaſes, are not propagated by Sympathy.
Luc. You ftruck and wounded the whole Sex through
Emilia's Side. Did you not preach up Vertue, not only
as an Ornament to Quality, but as a ſtrict Obligation?
Did you not lampoon our Conduct, and expofe our Be-
haviour?
Eufeb. I told Emilia Vertue was her Duty, and I have
Scripture for my Warrant. Pray fly in the Face of the
Holy Ghoft, and bring in an Action of Scandalum mag-
natum againſt our bleffed Saviour. He pinches, I affure
you, upon Grandeur and Title, and values more a Dairy-
Maid with Vertue, than a Princeſs without it. I ventu-
red alfo to compare the Practice of Ladies with their
Duty; and after a ferious Application, I found the one
bore no Proportion with the other. They jar like Con-
traries, and can no more be reconcil'd than Contradicto-
ries.
1
110
A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
܂
ries. If I arraign the Expreffes of fome, 'twas only to
reform them. Charity guided my Tongue, not Satyr. In
fine, I endeavour'd to correct their Failings, without out-
raging their Perfons, or infulting their Quality. Now,
pray Ladies, Where is the Harm? Is it not true, That
God created the World for Man, and Man for himſelf?
And are not Ladies comprehended in this general End of
the Creation? Will they refign all Claim to Heaven?
Or fhake off the Yoke of Dependance? Are they not
therefore oblig'd to ferve God, both out of Intereſt and
Duty? Is not this the fundamental Stone of our Religi
on? The capital Maxim of the Goſpel? The whole Load
of Chriftian Promiſes and Precepts lean on this Bafis. And
as God has obferved no Mean in his Favours to us, fo he
has put no Bounds to our Obligation. Love the Lord thy
God with all thy Heart. This is Scripture, Ladies: It's
not only God's Word, but his Command; and I find no
where that the topping Females lie without the Pale of
the Precept: But perhaps you are better read in Shakespear
than Revelation.
Luc. God be thank'd, Sir, we know the Catechifm.
Do you fuppofe we receiv'd our Education in the Wilds
of America?
Eufeb. I queftion not your Knowledge: It's hard to
overlook a Truth God has ftamp'd within us. That we
were made to ferve God is the firft Leffon we learn: But
by Misfortune, we feldom look behind the Principle: We
never take into Confideration the Confequences: For if it
be true you were meerly created for his Service and Glo-
ry, every Action that warps from this Point is excentrical
and irregular: It's a Violation of your Duty, and carries
you from the End of your Creation. Be pleas'd to furvey
your Thoughts and Defires; calculate your Words and
Actions; and then tell me, Whether they hanker'd not
more after your Satisfaction than God's Service? Whe-
ther they aim'd not more at the obliging of Senfe, than
at the Diſcharge of your Duty? And yet you believe you'
were placed in this World to fave your Soul: That your
only Buſineſs is to fave it: That though you gain the U-
niverfe, you lofe all unless you fave it: Permit me to dis-
believe you in this Particular, or to conclude your Rea-
fon to be diforder'd,
Emit.
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
III
Emil. Take your Choice, Judgments work no Altera~
tion in this: You will ſcarce think us out of Chriſtianity,
nor judge us into Bethlem: But pray, What unfortunate
Conſtellation.reign'd at our Births? What fatal Influ-
ence dubb'd us Fools or Infidels? The Dilemma is un-
kind: I might add, ungenteel. Infidelity in a reform'd
Nation has fomething of the Monſter: And Folly every
where much of the Beaft. Does our Difcourfe betray
any Diftemper of the Head? Or our Practice any Symp-
toms of a depraved Will?
Eufeb. Should you fee a Man, whilft his Eftate lay
gafping, faunter from the Play-houfe to the Tavern';
fleep till Ten in the Morning, and revel till Twelve at
Night; baftinado his Lawyers, and challenge his Judge.
to a Duel; would you not conclude this Gentleman va-
lu'd Indigence above an Eftate? That he was fond of
Poverty? Or compleatly rigged out for a Journey to
Morefields?
Emil. We fhould queſtionleſs infer, he had a Mind to
disburthen himſelf of the Incumbrance of Lands; and
to try the Charity of the Congregation. But pray parallel
not our Behaviour to this Coxcomb's Extravagance.
Eufeb. By no means; for how can I compare Things
that have no Proportion, or Analogy? This Coxcomb's
Folly can only throw him into Poverty, and thoſe trou-
blefome Sequels that wait on Indigence, light Dinners,
and foul Linen: And yet, this Misfortune may by Care
and Induftry be retrieved, and muft end. But Ladies
must expect more difmal Confequences of their Negli-
gence: But Heaven loft is never found, and Hell Flames
once lighted, are never extinguiſhed.
Luc. Nay, now we are fallen on the Topick of Eter-
nity, we ſhall never end. You are chopp'd upon the Text
of Pedants, upon the common Theme of Cant. You
intend to fright us into Bigotry, and to fcare us into Sla-
very. We know God has prepar'd a Heaven for his Friends,
and a Hell for his Enemies, and that both are everlaſting;
but we know alfo whilft we do no Harm, we incur no
Guilt, and by Confequence no Puniſhment.
Eufeb. Hell indeed is a very common Place, the Road
to it is plain, and always crouded, fo that it's well Peo-
pled: Nay, and the Citizens, like thofe of old Rome, are
in great part Lords, Knights and Ladies; and the Pri-
vilege
112 A SUPPLEMENT to the firft Part
vilege of the Corporation runs for Eternity. You are
acquainted, you tell me, with this Truth: However, I
take the Freedom to rub up your Memory, and I think
a Touch of it fometimes, tho' it be only in Glance and
Cypher, is feaſonable: For, I confefs, a Doubt has hung
cruelly in my Head, whether the Knowledge of our Firſt-
rate Mortals, of both Sexes, reach'd the Centre? I have
ſpent fome Reflections upon their Conduct, and find Hell
in their Practice, but not in their Belief. I have compa-
red with Grief, Pagan Rome with Chriftian London, and
read in the Practice of this, the Infidelity of the other.
Their Actions are fo uniform, one muft conclude their
Expectations are the fame; and that our English Hopes
and Fears are confined wholly to the prefent, as well as
the Romans. For, in fine, thefe Pagan Ladies were litter'd
to Campus Martius, ours are coach'd to Hyde-Park; if
they fheer'd off to the Theatre, ours drive home by the
Play house; they had their Balls, we are not behind-
hand in this Diverfion. The Roman Ladies hung Pro-
vinces in their Ears, and carry'd the Price of Kingdoms on
their Backs, and their Vanity fwell'd to that Excefs, that
nothing but a Decree of the Senate, was able to put
Bounds to its Extravagance. Indeed our Banks are leſs
furniſh'd than thoſe of Rome; and fo our Engliſh Vices
muſt be content with lefs Equipage: We are not attend-
ed by a Train of Slaves, nor carried on the Shoulders of
Gauls, or Germans; our Pendants and Necklaces may
want fome Carats of the antient Bravery, but generally
they weigh more than our Lands, and Lordfhips; they
eat up our Glebe, and prey upon our very Titles. So that
tho' our Vanity has lefs Pomp and State, it's attended by
more Folly.
I confeſs Venus and Cupid have no Altars in our Chur-
ches, yet, tho' they are clear of Idols, Idolatry goes on:
Like Michas we worship thefe little Proftitutes at Home
with Epods and Theraphim, and turn the whole Year into
a Lupercalia: We build, I mean, to this Procurefs and
Pandar, Altars in our Hearts, out of the Reach of Parli-
ament or Church-wardens; and facrifice, not Doves, but
all our Thoughts, Defires, and Actions, to thoſe lewd
Divinities. For pray confider, do not Love Intrigues take
up the Time of Chriftians, as well as of the old Pagans?
And are they not carried on with as much Heat and Ce-
remony
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
113
remony at London as at Rome? Can Hiſtory inftance one
Fact of Incontinence that we have not adopted by Pra-
ctice? Nay, the Copies we draw out-do the Originals;
and we bluſh as little at thofe Crimes our Religion con-
demns to Fire and Brimstone, as the Pagans at thoſe I-
dolatry placed in Heaven.
Now, who can draw any other Conclufion from fuch
a Reſemblance of Practice, but a Refemblance of Be-
lief? And that England, tho' Chriftian without, is no
leſs Pagan within than America? For what is the Diffe-
rence, but that our Name is better, and our Vices worſe.
I have heard that a Japonese, by the Inftruction of a
Divine, conceived a high Idea of the Chriſtian Religion;
but all the Rhetorick of the Preacher was unable to bring
him over till he had taken a Journey into Europe. With
the firſt fair Wind he fet Sail for Goa, he doubles the
Cape of Good Hope, and lands at Lisbon; he travels
over Europe; he examines the Behaviour and Employ-
ments of Chriſtians, he compares their Lives with their
Belief; the Looſeneſs of their Actions with the Severity
of their Precepts; and finding no Proportion between
the Doctrine and the Practice, he concluded Chriftianity
was Mummery and Romance: That we did not believe
in Europe, what we preach'd in India; and, in fine, that
Chriſtianity was rather a Mystery of Iniquity than of
Godliness. For he could not conceive it poffible for fo
many Millions to run counter to the Laws of their Pro-
feffion, and to combine to confute by an univerfal Pra-
ctice all the Articles of their Creed. Can Men, faid
he, who profefs a Gofpel of Love and Amity, outrage
their Brethren, and welter in the Blood of their neareſt
Relations? Can Men who are bid to lay up all their
Treaſure in Heaven, place their whole Concerns upon
Earth? Can they take up here, as if they were never to
remove, and fettle with Satisfaction in the very Place of
their Exile? Can Men believe Chrift fuffered for their
Sins, and yet crucify him in their Oaths? Or that God
will avenge Crimes, and yet commit the blackeſt without
Horror, or even Scruple? Can they believe Luft is for-
bid, and at the fame time make it their Bufinefs to ex-
cite Fleſh, and whip on the Paffions to Exceffes even be-
yond their natural Inclination? To plunge into Debau
ches lefs upon Appetite, than by way of Exploit and
Gallantry?
I
1
114
A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
Gallantry? This poor Idolater could not conceive how
the Conduct of Chriftians could vary fo prodigiouſly from
their Judgments: How their Law could teach Morality,
and their Actions breathe Impiety. And fo return'd into
his Country with this Perfuafion, that our Religion was
all Artifice, all criminal, or all Chriftians Infidels.
Emil. Well, fcolding is a Song of two Parts; if you
take one, I may be temped to take the other. Provi-
dence ſpoil'd a good Surgeon to make an ill Gentleman.
Your Genius lies ſo to Diflection, I believe you take as
much Pleaſure in the cutting up of a Fault, or in reading:
upon the Sores of your Neighbour, as a Doctor of the
College in the anatomizing of a Malefactor taken from
the Gibbet. Take your way, lampoon the whole Race
of Chriftians, and make a Satyr upon the Nation. You
have affumed the Office of Cenfor-General, and what
will you gain but Enemies and Reproof?
Luc. His Invective, Madam, reaches not us, we do
no Harm; our Conduct is innocent, and our Behaviour
belies not our Profeffion.
Eufeb. I am not difpofed to libel Ladies, nor to bur-
lefque Mankind. But I am concern'd in earneft, to feet
People in ſpight of all Sollicitation to be happy, run head-
long, like crown'd Victims, to their Ruin. To fee Chri-
ftians claim a Right to the vaft Promiſes of our Redeem-
er, and at the fame time to break thro' all the Princi-
ples that ſupport the Title. You fix your Security upon
this wretched Maxim, I do no Harm. Suppofe it true;
Will this enfure your Happineſs?
You have certainly confider'd, Matt. xxv. You have
read the Parable of a Maſter, who call'd his Servant to
Account for a Talent. Be pleafed upon my Recommen-
dation to turn once more to the Place: It ſeems defign'd
for your Inftruction; weigh the Drift, and ftop at every
Circumstance. This Man deliver'd his Servant a Talent
with a Command to lay it out at Intereſt: But reflecting
on the one fide perchance that the Bank was funk, and
the Security queftionable; and on the other that his Ma-
fter was ſevere and exacting, he thought it a piece of Po-
licy to fecure the Capital; and reftor'd it immediately at
his Return. But the Mafter treats the Man with Heat
and Outrage. Ill and idle Servant. He receives the
Talent with Indignation, he coops him up in Jayl; and
then
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
115
then condemns him to weeping and gnashing of Teeth.
Now this poor Wretch was neither Thief nor Murder-
er; he neither wafted his Lord's Goods, nor alienated
'em. It's true, he laid not out the Money to Intereſt ;
but he fecur'd the Principal: And if he did no Good, he
was charg'd with no Harm. Notwithſtanding this Plea
brought him not off; he was found guilty of Negli-
gence and Idlenefs, and received both Sentence and Pu-
niſhment.
So that, Ladies, the very Ground of your Security was
the Caufe of his Damnation. He was unprofitable, but
not wicked; he encreas'd not his Mafter's Stock, nor did
he embezzle it. You pretend you do no Harm, but
confefs you do no Good; you do not ferve God, and will
hot offend him. If this Pretence did not protect the Stew-
ard, nor ftave off the Sentence, why fhall it plead harder
for you; unleſs perchance the Female Sex has Right
to more Indulgence than the Male; or that God will
have regard to Quality; or that the Court lies out of the
Verge of his Jurifdiction?
But in good earneft, Ladies, Do you no Harm? Is it
not Harm to wander from the Cradle to the Coffin in a
Labyrinth of Amufements, either vain or childish? Is it
no Harm to tire your felf upon the Concerns of this World,
without fpending one Thought upon the Affairs of the
other? Is it no Harm to play the Prodigals, to laviſh
thoſe precious Moments of Time that compofe your Lives
upon Balls, Masks, and Dreffing? Perchance Education
has given you falſe Notions of Time; you are ignorant
of its Value; you are perchance apter to look upon it as
a Burthen, than a Favour, as a Drug that lies upon your
Hands, than a Treafure. Suffer me to difabuſe you.
Nothing is more valuable, nothing more precious than
Time, every Moment is worth an Eternity; the Bliſs of
the Saints is but the Reward of Time well husbanded;
and the Torments of the Damned are the diſmal Effects
of Time mifufed. Do you comprehend the value of
Grace, or of the beatifical Vifion? This Grace, this bea-
tifical Viſion are the Price of Time. The damned Souls
can never ſoften God's Justice; tho' they weep eternally;
tho' they groan eternally under the Weight of his Seve-
rity; and yet in one Moment of Time affifted by his
Grace we may cancel the moft flaming Sins, we may re-
I Z
new
}
116 A SUPPLEMENT to the firft Part
new our Claim to Heaven, and return to his Favour.
Happineſs therefore and Mifery, and both eternal, de-
pend on Time. Yet you do no Harm when you miſpend
it, nay, when you labour more to mifapply it, than God
requires to manage it to Advantage.
How many Wretches fulter in Flames without Pity,or
Interruption? And yet they burn for the very Principle
you maintain, that it's no Harm to trifle away Time.
But, Ladies, Flames have reftored 'em to their Wits, and
brought them to a juft Acknowledgment of their Error:
They deplore their Miftake with fruitlefs Tears, and
draw from their late Repentance no lenitive but Deſpair.
They cry louder for Time, than the unhappy Dives for
Water, and prize a Moment above the Waves of the
Ocean. Would God expofe Time to fale, the Number
of Chapmen would equal that of the Reprobates. How
many Empires would Alexander, Cafar, and Meffaline
give up for one Hour? But, alas, ten thouſand Worlds
will not purchaſe a fingle Moment. Is it then no Harm
to faunter away our Lives, and like Children, duck and
drake away a Treafure able to buy Paradife? In fine, La-
dies, our Death-bed Wiſhes that fue with fuch an Energy
for a Moment's Reprieve demonftrate Time has a real
Value: For why fhould it appear fo defirable, when the
moft gaudy Vanities of the World raiſe Contempt.
Emil. So, Eufebius has pronounced our Dooms; we
are already damned in Effigy, nay, and all Mankind in
Emblem and Hieroglyphick. Are you not afraid, Sir, of
being torn to Pieces by the Street Infantry? Do you feel
no Pangs of Compunction for fuch Anti-chriſtian Affer-
tions? I could no more fleep with fuch a weighty Sin up-
on my Conſcience, than I could breathe fifty Fathom
under Water. What, nothing but Hell and Damnation
for poor Mortals after a plentiful Redemption? But I
ſuppoſe you ſtand off in Generals, and comprehend us
not in your Sentence; for, I thank God, I always have
an Eye on the main Chance; I am at Peace within, and
take Account of my Time.
Eufeb. Miftake me not, Judicature is the Flower of
God's Prerogative, he alone crowns the Vertue of the
Righteous, and puniſhes the Crimes of the Ungodly. I
have not furvey'd the Region of Darkneſs, nor perus'd
the Regiſter of Lucifer, ſo that I am ignorant of the
Number
?
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
117
Number of the unfortunate, and unacquainted with their
Perfons; yet certainly if Scripture be the Rule of Good
and Evil, if it points at the Road that leads to Death,
without ftraining the Law of Charity, I may pronounce
the greateſt part of our Beaus and Bells are in a fair way
to Damnation. For who fteers by that Compafs? Who
follows that Guide? Nay, in Defiance of Self-Intereft,
Revelation and Reafon too, we cut upon all the Maxims
of the Goſpel, as if it were to be underſtood backwards,
and that Vice food for Vertue, Vertue for Vice, and
Hell for Heaven. But it ſeems your Club is not like o-
ther People; your Confciences are ferene without Storm
or Cloud, you enjoy within a fweet Spring, a gentle
Calm, as if the Halcyons had built their Nefts in your
very Souls. You make not a falfe Step from January to
December, every Thought is feraphick, every Motion
more than Chriſtian, every Moment of time is managed
with Thought and Confideration. It's pity Canonizations
are out of Faſhion in England, you might elſe ſtand fair
for a place in the Calendar. But in good earneſt is your
Conduct fo irreproachable? Do you allow fo much
Time to God? So little to Vanity? Let us try, if you
pleaſe, this Point by plain Fact: It deferves Attention.
Pray then, Ladies, what is the grand Occupation of the
Day? Between eight and nine in comes my Lady's Wo-
man, to range in Order and Method all the little Trinkets
of the Toilet. She chuckles together a whole Covy of
Effences and Perfumes, fhe commands Combs to their
Pofts, Pomatums to theirs, Waſhes alamode to theirs.
Here is Contrivance in Folly, and Confufion in Order.
One would take a Dreffing-room for a Toy-fhop, or a
Mercery of finall Ware. Nay, I have heard it compar'd
to an Army in Array, for the little Knicknacks ſtand in a
military Pofture; fome are divided into Battalions; o-
thers into Squadrons; fome make up the left, fome the
right Wing; and I have ſeen a Corps de referve upon
a Side-board ready for fudden Occafions. A French
Glafs alamode commands in the Corps de bataille; at
his Beck the Patch-boxes march, Powders and Effences
advance, Combs enter upon Duty; and then on a ſud-
den, halt, and now my Lady makes her intrado, and
begins the great Work of the Day. She confults her O-
racle, the Glaſs, upon the State of the Health and Beauty;
I 3
What
118
A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
What Change fince laft Night, Time has wrought in
her Complexion, whether it carries on its Approaches
with Speed; or whether it draws near the Glacis, and
when probably it may mafter the Out-works?
And now her Ladyfhip brandiſhes the Combs, and the
Powders raiſe Clouds in the Apartment. She trims up
the Commode, fhe places it ten times, unplaces it as often
without being fo fortunate as to hit upon the critical
Point. She models it to all Syſtems, but is pleas'd with
none. For you muſt know, fome Ladies fancy a vertical,
others an horizontal Situation; others Dreſs by the Nor-
thern Latitude, and others lower its Point to forty-five
Degrees. At length fhe comes to the Patches: Here is
plea for Fancy, and room for Invention, no wonder
then if the Operation takes up Time, and calls for Study
and Reflection; it's hard to refolve upon the Number,
harder upon the Size, and much more eaſy to billet an
Army, than to affign each Patch its proper Station.
Twelve ftrikes before her Cheeks are inlaid, and her Face
be checker'd alamode. And when ſhe has baited the
Chambermaid, and ftroaked her Lap-dog, in comes Din-
ner; down the fits, not to eat, but to fret; one Diſh is too
high-ſeaſon'd, another too low; this is too fweet, that
too four; the Pigeons are too lean, the Pullets too fat;
fince her Levee, fhe only named God, when fhe told the
Cook, God fends Meat, and the Devil fends Cooks. Here
is the great Concern of the Morning, this takes Madam's
Thoughts, this runs away with her Care, and ſweeps a-
way with one half of the Day. Yet fhe does no Harm,
the is thrifty of Time, fhe puts it to Account, thefe
Hours, no doubt, are wifely employ'd; they are laid out
to Advantage, and will fructify to a Miracle.
But now the Evening Employment calls upon her. She
ſteps into the Coach, drives to the Exchange in the
Strand; from thence to Cheapfide, and at her Return
ftrikes in at Pater-nofter Row. In one Place fhe learns new
Faſhions, here ſhe cheapens Silks, there China Diſhes,
here Perfumes, there Pomatums. She coaches the Ware,
and leaves a Billet for the Reck'ning. Being cleared of
Buſineſs, ſhe's fit for Diverfion. She pofts therefore to the
Park, where fhe fuppofes every one admires her. Somet
indeed are finitten with her Drapery, whilft others pity
her Folly; but all agree, her Vanity outweighs her Judg-
mcnt,
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 119
ment, that fhe is richer without than within, and that her
Wit fparkles lefs than her glorious Equipage. She makes
the Round, enquires who is come to Town; who has
flipp'd afide into the Country; who is lately married;
who lies in; and having diſcharged her Commiffion,
and delivered her Errand, fhe rowls Home by the Play-
houfe; unleſs a Ball or a fecret Affignation defire ber Pre-
fence. This is a Lady's Life in Epitome, her Employ-
ment in Short-hand. One Day's Work is the Copy of an-
other, and one Year fhews the Practice of forty.
And now, Ladies, which Action of the Day bids fair for
Heaven? which calms your Confcience, and puts you out
of Apprehenfion of a final Miſcarriage? which diftin-
guiſhes the Chriſtian from the Pagan? The Heir of Para-
dife from the Child of Lucifer? I fancy the Chineſe
Dames, who are Strangers to the Joys and Terrors of
the other World, take the Scheme of their Lives from
the Plan of yours. They work by your Sample, and
copy the European Original. They while away their
time upon Trifles; they drefs and undrefs as you do; they
idolize a little Body, that once muft fall in the Grave,
and repair with Artifice the Ravage of the Age; they
fteer by the Impulfe of Senfe, and follow the Current of
'Inclination. Eafe is the Object of their Wiſhes, and
Vertue of their Averfion. If the Lives of Infidels and
Chriſtians carry ſuch a Refemblance, I fear their Ends
will bear the fame Proportion; for how can they march
on the fame Road, and not arrive at the fame Term?
Luc. Here is a Libel upon the Sex, and the Character
is obliging; but the Picture is taken from Imagination,
not from Life. It's a Dafh at Random; an Effay of Wit
to fport the Faculty, and to breathe the Spleen. I per-
ceive you feldom frequent the Church; for did you
vouchfafe to make an Appearance there on the Lord's
Day, you would fee the Ladies in the Pews, as well as
in the Park, or in the Boxes.
Eufeb. I beg your Pardon, I had almoft forgot the
Sabbath Occupation. Sunday is a Day of Reft, and fo
Ladies ftand religioufly to its Primitive Inftitution, i. e.
they confecrate it to Sleep and Repofe; it's a Day of
Vacation too, and by Confequence the moft proper Sea-
fon for Phyfick. I knew a Lady fick of a chronical Di-
ftemper, that puzzled the Doctor, and threw the Apothe-
I 4
cary
120 A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
cary into Fits of Amazement. Its Symptoms were extra-
ordinary, and its Accidents without Prefident; fhe was
in a perfect State of Health and Vigour all the Week,
and always difcompos'd on the Lord's Day; nay, I was
inform'd ſhe diſcern'd by the Beat of the Pulſe, a Feaſt
from a Feria, without the Help of poor Robin. But pray,
Madam, what Motive leads you to Church? Sometimes
you appear to teach, fometimes to learn new Faſhions;
perchance alſo you have fail'd in the return of a Vifit,
and nothing but an Apology in a holy Place can atone
for the Breach of a Ceremony fo facred. I take it for
granted you diſclaim the Quality of a Suppliant; why
elfe do you difdain the Poſture? Kneeling is indeed im-
proper, I mean impertinent, for thofe who have no In-
clination to pray: Nay, I fufpect, without the Confent
of Queen and Parliament, you have enacted to your
felves the prophane Part of Darius's Law, of making no
Petition to God.
Tell me ingenuouſly, do you not enter into the Church
as Caligula did into the Temple, not to pray, but to re-
ceive Homage? Do you not fancy a Place on the Altar
becomes your Ladyfhips better than Silver Candleſticks
or Bafons? I grant upon Occafions the Fame of a cele-
brated Preacher may decoy you into the Sanctuary, and
fo Curiofity fubdues Sloth, and one Vice makes room
for another; but then his Rhetorick runs away with
your Attention, not his Morality; you hearken to criti-
cife or applaud, not to learn. In fine, you flock to the
Pulpit as the Romans did to their Roftra, to hear Ora-
tory, and to fee Declamation, and thus you coach back
to your Lodgings. All thefe Sins you carry'd to the Ser-
mon, befides a fufficient Cargo you overtook in the
Streets, or pick'd up in the Congregation.
And as in the Morning you fat down to laugh and chat
with your Pew-fellows; fo after Dinner with the Hea-
thenifh Jews, you rife to Play, the Table-cloth is removed
to make Place for the Cards. Did Gaming keep within
the Pale of a meer Recreation, perchance a Set after the
Evening Service might be tolerated. But, alas! Liberti-
niſm and Avarice have given it the Freedom of the City
it's erected into a Company as well as the Society of Tay-
lors and Haberdaſhers. In a Word, 'tis become a Calling;
nay, a laborious and fervile one too. Ladies toil and
drudge
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
J2I
•
drudge at it Day and Night, they give up their Privilege
to that Remiffion. Laws, both human and divine, have
provided for the bafeft Mechanicks: The very Sabbath
is no Day of Reft and Relaxation to them; this Trade
goes on, when all other Shops are fhut, and, to confute
the common Excufe, we do no Harm, fometimes at one
fitting a Child's Portion is truck'd for a fwing on the
Rack, which Lunaticks are pleas'd to call Diverfion.
Luc. Well, and where is the Harm in all this?
Eufeb. Nay, Madam, if this Failure be little in your
Opinion, I fear your Confcience will appear lefs. What
Harm to prophane the Church and the Sabbath too?
Why, it's a Complication of Sacrilege and Infult; and
do thefe Crimes ſtand for Cyphers in your Cafuiftry? They
ftrike directly at your Maker, and almoft imply Atheiſm
by Illation; they wound your Neighbour alfo by Re-
flexion, and claſh with Juftice and Nature. For is not
Juſtice violated, and Nature outraged, when you card
or dice away a Labourer's Salary, or a Child's Portion?
unleſs perchance our English Proverb, the better Day the
better Deed, fanctifies the Action. Well, I perceive the
Sex is impeccable, unleſs it vaults over the two Tables
of the Decalogue together, or fwallows Sins like Car-
roway-Comfits, by the Dozen.
The Ladies fate all this while upon the Tenters, and
receiv'd the Mercurial, as they fwallow Pills, with wry
Faces in Abundance; they broke off the Homily a bun-
dred times, and as often fprinkled the Difcourfe with Ex-
poftulation, their Paffion flow'd too faft to be pent in ;
they were neither able to keep Silence, nor to fpeak to the
Purpoſe; and Anger that loos'd their Tongue, fettered
their Reaſon. But Eufebius endeavoured to footh 'em
into fome Terms of Moderation; he defir'd their Atten-
tion for a Moment, with Affurance they ſhould have time
to interpofe: He protefted that he intended Inftruction,
not Satyr, that he honoured the Sex, but fawn'd not on
its Vices. But the Comment upon their Sunday Behavi-
our ſpoil'd all, he might as well have reafon'd down a
Hurricane, or argued the cholerick Ocean into a Calm,
as complement thefe Females into Silence. Their Re-
fentment had taken Fire, and all their Paffion boil'd over
with Noife and Tumult. In fine, Impatience ſtept into
the Coach-box, and drove their Ladyſhips beyond the
Bounds
་
122 A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
Bounds of Decency. Eufebius had read that Non-refift-
ance tames Fury, whilft Oppofition made it; that, like
capricious Horfes, it runs fafter when you draw in, than
when you looſe the Reins: He therefore gave Way to
their Sallies, and receiv'd fome Difcharges of Chafe-
Shot. At length the Humour was drain'd, and the Tem-
peſt ended in Serenity. And, as Topers drink themſelves
fober, ſo theſe Ladies talked away Impatience, and vex'd
themſelves into a good Humour.
The Storm being over, Ladies, continued Eufebius,
Can fuch a Conduct ftand with the Belief of an Eterni-
ty? Can Women throw Time away with fo little Cau-
tion, who are perfuaded their All depends upon the Ma-
nagement of it? Can they put any Streſs upon the Ex-
pectation of future Happinefs, who perch with fo much
Eagerness upon prefent Satisfactions? You would do
well, to face your Practice with your Profeflion; to ba-
lance what you receive in Hand, with what you expect
in Reverfion; to run up to your Baptifm, and recollect
your first Engagement; for the World is a bewitching
Thing, and without Care it will bubble us, and put upon
us with Trifles, and when once it has got the Afcendant,
'twill foment Ignorance for an Excufe of Liberty; 'twill
bribe a Man's Confcience, and Subpoena Reafon againſt
himſelf: For certainly its Promiſes charm Senfe, and a
prefent Poffeffion tranfports Nature; but you ſhould re-
member that Ratsbane is made with Sugar, and that the
moſt ſweet Poifon is generally the moſt ſwift and mortal.
Let therefore Health take Place of Pleaſure, and ſcorn to
die of the childiſh Difeafe of Liquorifhnefs.
Eufebius had continued, but Neander's Arrival put a
Stop to his Difcourfe. He came to lead him to Theoma-
chus, the Atheiſt, and was furprized to ſee his Friend in
fo extraordinary an Engagement. I am forry, faid he,
to interrupt your Converfation, and muft make a fmall
Apology for my Incivility. But indeed I had rather be
guilty of the Breach of Behaviour, than of my Word. I
promis'd laft Night to conduct you to your Adverfary;
the Time draws near, and he expects your Appearance.
Eufeb. We Men of Arms are expos'd to Surprizes. I
fell this Morning into an unexpected Ambufcade, and
found my Quarters ftorm'd; before I received any Intel-
ligence of an Enemy. In a fhort time I hope to difen-
gage
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
123
gage my felf, and to compofe the Bufinefs a l'amiable,
we mult fue Theomachus for a Ceflation of Arms till to
Morrow; and then we'll open the Campaign. Neander
fent his Man with a Letter to Theomachus, who acqui-
efced to the Propofal.
In the mean Time, Emilia turning herfelf to Neander,
poke thus. Though I have not had the Honour of your
Acquaintance, I am glad of your Arrival. Your Mein
tells your Birth, and methinks I read good Nature in
your Forehead. Eufebius has trefpafs'd upon our Patience,
he has handled Quality with the Rudeness of a Carman,
and flouriſhed upon the Conduct of the Sex with Inde-
cency of Application, and the utmoft Strains of Clowne-
ry. Nay, he throws us out of Senfe, and will not allow
us any Tincture of Morality. Indeed his Civility and
Judgment are both of a Size: Providence feems to have
fent you to our Reſcue.
Nean. Madam, Her Majefty has not honoured me
with the Dignity of Knighthood, and fo I lie under no
particular Obligation to defend diftrefs'd Damfels. How-
ever your Quality commands my Affiftance, and your
Beauty my Efteem.
The Compliment took to Admiration; Joy pofted
through every Joint, and charmed the Lady into a plea-
fing Humour. She who before fpilt Gall and Vinegar,
by a ſtrange Metamorphofis became all Honey, all Su-
gar. She had feen Forty, fo that her Complexion was
in its Wain, her Charms had ftepp'd over the Meridian,
and touch'd fome Points of the Weft: Yet fhe buoy'd
up the Decays of Nature by the Support of Art, and
flung fuch a comely Varniſh on thefe Breaches time had.
made, that like Zeuxis fhe miſtook Life for Impoſture,
the Effects of her Vanity for the Work of her Creator,
and the Relicts of Age for Beauty. Nay, fhe ventur'd
once to confefs in good Company, fifty Years weigh'd
lefs on her Shoulders, than thirty on her Face. Yes, faid
fhe, whilſt my Cheeks wear June, let my Hair put on
December.
A Compliment therefore fo a propos, fo agreeable to her
Inclination, caft the Lady in a Trance, and laid all Re-
fentment aſleep. She became leſs untractable and more
docile, fhe defired to learn not to difpute, but rather to
amend her paſt Conduct than to defend it: In Effect fhe
heard Eufebius with Attention.
This
124 A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
1
This fudden Change hath often made me conclude,
that Lenitives are more proper for Women's Conſtitutions
than Corrofives. They may be footh'd into their Duty,
but not hectored. A kind Word is more perfuafive with
them, than a ſtrong Reafon.
After fome Recollection Emilia return'd Neander a
Complement for his; and forgot not to infinuate the Va-
lue fhe put upon his Efteem. Then turning to Eufebius,
Sir, faid fhe, I undertake not the Defence of Ladies:
None are without their Failings, and fome not without
Crimes: And I confefs that the Number of thoſe is lefs
who live up to their Profeffion, than of thoſe who difho-
nour it. Some ſquare their Conduct rather by the Gof-
pel of Senfe, than of St. Matthew: And others are better
vers'd in the Art of dreffing than of living well. But why
muft the General be lafh'd for the Faults of Particulars?
Let the Correction and the Diſorder go together, and
let thoſe who carry off the Pleaſure of a bad Action feel
the Puniſhment. Muft Lucretia be hooted at for a Pro-
ftitute, becauſe Meffaline caft off Shame? Muft Susanna
beat Hemp in the antient Palace of Bridewell, becauſe
Hellen left Menelaus for a Gallant? Or Judith ftand for
a Fury, becauſe Jezabel deſerved the Title? I hope Weft-
minster-Hall Justice is lefs partial than yours, and the Ar-
refts of our Judges better complexioned. We are all,
as I have faid, liable to Miſcarriage; the beft Princi-
pled trip ſometimes: For Nature provoked by Senſe, and
rouzed up by Temptation, is apt to rebel againſt Princi-
ple. And then the odds are vaft on Nature's Side.
What Wonder if Ladies train'd up in the Art of Beha-
viour overlook the Precepts of Morality, and perfuade
People by their Practice they are better acquainted with
the Civil Virtues of the Court, than the theological of
the Gospel.
Luc. Madam, thefe Satyrs rather flow from Paffion
than Judgment; and I always revenge my felf on fuch
Toys with Silence; Contempt blunts the Edge of a keen
Lampoon better than Reaſon, and no Reply difappoints
the Author, and throws him off the Hinges. In a Word,
Eufebius's Railing is no credible Qualification, it's a cer-
tain Symptom of a defperate Caufe. For who flings Dirt
that has another Weapon at Command?
Eufeb.
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
125
Eufeb. God forbid I ſhould follow thofe Sparks, who
having been the Dupes of one Woman, impeach the whole
Sex as Complices of their Difappointment. No, no; if
fome Women deſerve Blame, others cannot be prais❜d too
much Their Vertues are above Panegyrick, and their
Merits above the Flight of Eloquence or Hyperbole.
Who can read the Book of Judith without Admiration
and Tranſport? This great Lady feem'd to be fram'd a-
bove the Spheres by the Hands of Angels. Valour e-
qualled her Beauty, and Vertue topp'd both. She had
nothing feminine but the Sex: Never was Grace better
plac'd than on her Brow; it flafh'd a Mixture of Charms.
and Terror; fhe darted Love, and commanded Re-
fpect: She attack'd a proud Conqueror at the Head of a
victorious Army, and fubdu'd his Heart with her Face,
to take off his Head with his own Sword. In fine, this
brave Amazon fill'd the Affyrian Camp with Confufion,
and Bethulia with Triumph. She ſtopt the Conquefts of
an ambitious Prince, and the ruin of an innocent City.
What fhall I fay of the great St. Catharine, Wealth,
Youth, and Beauty enter'd into a triple Alliance againſt
her Vertue. Hell join'd-Force, and Idolatry Cruelty to
the Confederates. Yet fhe defeated their Defigns, and
rais'd a Trophy to her Sex, and an eternal Monument to
her Vertue upon their Ruin, for fhe overcame the Vani-
ty of Philofophers with her Learning, the brutifh Paflion
of an amorous Emperour with her Chaftity, and the
Rage of Hangmen with her Conftancy. Flattery could
not bend her Courage, nor Wheels break it: She liv'd a
Chriſtian, and died a Martyr.
St. Ambrofe feems to have ſpent all his Rhetorick upon
St. Agnes; yet his Words fall fhort of her Actions; and
this Child did more than Eloquence can exprefs. Her
Piety was above her Age, and her Vertue above Nature.
The Courage of this young Lady over-matched the Forti-
tude of Alexander, and few Men at Threefcore arriv'd
at that Love of God fhe breath'd at Thirteen. Her Bo-
dy was too little to receive the Sword, though not to
overcome it, and altho' fhe was too young for Torments,
ſhe was ripe for Victory. The Spectators trembled whilft
ſhe ſtood unconcern'd, and the Executioner that gave the
Blow fhew'd more Symptoms of Fear, than fhe that re-
ceiv'd it: In fine, fhe fell in the Combat, and went off
with
126 A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
with Victory: For as St. Cyprian notes, tho' Martyrs
die, they are not overcome, and they are invincible be-
cauſe they brave Death. Vinci non poffunt, & mori pof-
funt, & hoc ipfo invicti funt, quia mori non timent.
The wife Conduct of Clotilda drove Paganifm out of
France, and rais'd Churches to the true God on the Ruins
of Polytheifm. She foftened the Obftinacy of her Hus-
band by Inftructions, and polifhed the Ruffnefs of his war-
like Vertues, with the Practice of Morality; and at laſt
brought this great Prince from Paganifm, and the whole.
Kingdom to Chriftianity. Hermenegildes owes his Faith
to the Piety of his dear Ingundes, for he had died Arian,
if this orthodox Princeſs had not made him Catholick.
In a Word, God feems to have train❜d up Ladies for the
Propagation of the Gofpel. A Martha and a Magdalen
receiv'd our Saviour into their Houſe, before they let him
into their Hearts; they refreſh'd in Bethany his tired
Limbs after the Fatigues of his Function; and when one
Apoftle betray'd him, and the others abandon'd hire,
Mary follow'd our Lord to Calvary; and there durft min-
gle her innocent Tears with the facrilegious Crucifige's of
the Rabble. When the Apoftles doubted of Chrift's Re-
furrection, the proclaim'd it without Hefitation; and in
Recompence of her Faith Chrift commiffion'd her to af-
fume the Office of Apoftle to the very Apoftles. Where-
ever God fpread the Gofpel, he provided a Lady to fur-
ther it. Helena planted the Faith in the Roman Empire,
Cefarea in Perfia, Gezela in Hungary, Ogla in Ruffia,
Dambruca in Polony, and Ethelburga in Germany. In all
theſe glorious Enterprizes Ladies led the Van, whilft Men
only brought up the Rear. They marched only upon the
Traces of theſe great Heroines; and brought through the
Barriers of Flesh and Blood, when they had paved the
Way by their Example.
Indeed fuch noble Inftances of Vertue are lefs nume-
rous in our deprav'd Age, than in the Days of our Fore-
fathers. Yet many Ladies draw their Lives by their an-
tient and moſt admir'd Originals; I could name fome
of Figure and Title, who live in this World like People
who knew they muft live eternally in the next. They
are meek without Sheepifhneſs, affable without Affecta-
tion, reſerv'd without Diffimulation, and great without
Pride. They reconcile the Highness of their Rank with
the
·
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
127
the humble Principles of their Profeffion, they difpute
the firſt Place without Vanity, and ftoop to the loweſt
without ftepping an Inch below their Station. Here is
Scripture in Practice, and Perfection in Life and A-
Єtion.
Nean. Pray, Ladies, let this Panegyrick atone for the
Satyr; if Eufebius has ftruck the Sex with one Hand, I
aflure you, he ftroaks with the other; he daſhes the
aigre with the doux, and handfomely mingles Reproof
with Inftruction: He has Balms to heal, as well as Cau-
fticks to blifter; and when he has breath'd a Vein, he
cloſes the Orifice with a Swathing-band. In a Word, he
has knocked his own Libel on the Head, and, like the
Scorpion, is both Poifon and Antidote.
Emil. Good Nature is come upon him, and his Breed-
ing is return'd to the Cure; he ſpeaks now like a Gen-
tleman as well as an Orator, and I promiſe him a fine
Audience, if he'll preach in the Pulpit upon the fame
Subjećt.
Pray, faid Neander, turning himſelf to Eufebius, fa-
vour us with the Cauſe of our Ladies Misfortune; for
I call it a Misfortune to deviate from the Rule of their
Profeffion, and to fruſtrate the very End of their Crea-
tion.
Eufeb. It's indeed a Misfortune, but almoft univerfal;
it's ipread over the whole World, and affects the whole
Species. Emilia has touched the Caufe, ill Education:
This is the fatal Source of their Mifery, the true Origin
of all their Failings. Young Ladies are brought up as
if God created 'em meerly for a Seraglio, and that their
only Buſineſs was to charm a brutish ultan: One would
think_they had no Souls, there is fuch a Care taken of
their Bodies: That God had enacted a Salique Law as
well as the French, and excluded the Sex froin the Inhe-
ritance of Heaven.
The feven Years of Infancy are fpent meerly in the
Entertainments of Senfe; they are yet fuppos'd unfit for
Inftruction, and fo their little Paffions fprout up without
Check, and increaſe without Controul. But, under Fa-
vour, though in an Age fo tender, Children cannot be dif
ciplined by Reaſon, they may by Senfe: For I cannot
fee why their Paffions are not in a Capacity of being
moderated, fo foon as they are in a Condition of being
excited,
7
128 A SUPPLEMENT to the firft Part-
excited, for though they are not ripe for Precept, they
are for Fear, Menace, and Careffes; and thus we fee
the Nurſe oftentimes frowns and fawns the moft fro-
ward Infants into a good Humour. Some Reſtraint
therefore ſhould be put upon their diſorderly Propenfions
even in this Non-age; for if you fuppofe a Child to be
a Brute at Seven, and treat him meerly as fuch, in all
Probability you will make him continue fo till Ten.
But alas! this timely Care is quite forgot; little Mifs,
like Mamma's Lap-dog, is carefs'd till fhe is fit for no-
thing but to play or fleep. The little Creature muſt
fleep on Silk, and feed on potable Gold. Like a Bartho-
lomew Poppet fhe is wrapt in Gold and Silver, and pra-
ctices Vanity before fhe knows the Sin.
So foon as Reaſon begins to ſparkle, Mifs is led into
the Dreffing-room; fhe is taught the great Myſtery of.
the Glafs, and all the important Secrets of the Toilet.
Which Waſh clears the Complexion, which conferves,
and which repairs it. Thefe are neceflary Prolegomena's,
or Præcognita to the Science. A Man may as well be a
perfect Mathematician without the Knowledge of an An-
gle or Circle, as a Lady can be a Graduate in the Philo-
fophy of the Dreffing-room without thefe Poftulatums.
For Beauty being the chief Object of a Lady's Care,
fhe muft help Nature with Art, and polifh the Work of
the Omnipotent with a French Waſh; the muſt fence it
againſt the Affaults of Heats, the Excurfions of Pimples,
and the dangerous Inroads of the Small-Pox. She muft,
in fine, expofe her Life to fave her Complexion. And
then to mould her Shape to the Court-Standard, what
Pains does the Mother take on the one Side, and what
a Martyrdom does the Child undergo on the other? Her
Feet are condemn'd to the Scotch Boot, and her Body
to the Torment of the Prefs. She is pen'd up in Iron,
and forc'd to trail her Perfon. Befides, the poor Crea-
ture is put to a fhort Allowance of cold Water, or tied
up to a Pittance of Barley-broth, and muſt keep a con-
tinual Lent in Spight of our Statute-Book. One would
think Hunger was a Propriety of the Sex, and Fafting
the topping Qualification of a young Lady; her Mother
will not fuffer her to grow up to her Joints, nor to have
all the Flesh and Bones God defign'd her. And thus fhe
is rack'd without and within for the Satisfaction of Ma-
dam,
of the GENTLEMAN Inſtructed.
129
}
dam, and the whole Body is facrific'd for Shape and Co-
lour.
And now Mifs leaves the Nurſery to ply at the Dan-
cing-School, and to finger the Guitarr, or the Virginals;
and when ſhe has mafter'd a Minuet, and an Air Ala-
mode; when he can practiſe a Brace of Grimaces, and
wave the Fan, Good God! how Mamma Titters; the
is now fledg'd for the World, and fets out for Company.
But ſhe muft beware of Refervednefs, and fence againſt
a Bluſh; for theſe are Country Vices, Symptoms of Ru-
fticity, Crimes against Breeding, and the Freedom of
the Town. She is therefore taught a qualifying Em-
belliſhment in the Court Dialect, call'd Affurance, in the
Chriftian Confidence; and thus fhe mortgages Modeſty
for Behaviour, and almoft robs the Woman to equip the
Lady.
In the mean time, Age comes upon her, Paffions get
a Head, Temptations follow without Number, Defires
without Bridle, and Vanity without Check. She is a
Stranger to the Doctrine of Self-abnegation, and unpra-
ctifed in the Methods of Refiftance: She knows not
what it means to baulk Appetite, nor to fubdue Senſe to
Reaſon. She has been fet up by the Mother for a little
Goddeſs, and the Family adores her like a Houſhold Di-
vinity. The Frowns of this little Creature raiſes Storms,
and her Smiles fair Weather; you muſt no more cross
her, than offend thofe Stars, that in the Pagan Theology
rain'd Tempefts on the Heads of thoſe who difdained to
falute 'em.
What a Tragick-Comedy did I behold at my Lady D.'s
I thought Folly could not riſe to ſuch a Height of Extra-
vagance., Mifs had the Misfortune to be baulkt in a chil-
diſh Enterprize; the Houſe rung immediately of the Diſ-
appointment, all was in an Uproar, all in a Confuſion:
The Violence of the Paffion caft the Child into a Fever :
The Mother's Pulfe beat by the Daughter's, and becauſe
Mifs was difcompos'd, good Mamma took Phyfick;
and to carry on the Farce, the Chambermaid breath'd a
Vein. I fancy'd my felf in Lucian's Ifland of Dreams, and
that what I faw was Vifion and Revery. For how, faid
I, can Folly ftrain fo far? Bedlam is unacquainted with
fuch Scenes of Madneſs, with fuch Flights of Farce and
Comedy: Had the vixen Humour been frighted away
K
with
1.30 A SUPPLEMENT to the firft Part
with a little Severity, the Fever had withdrawn, and
Birch would have wrought the Cure more efficacioufly
than Phyfick, or Bleeding by Proxy. Thus Education
adds Bias to Nature, and makes the Temper of Chil-
dren more rugged, inftead of poliſhing them.
Befides, Mifs is not only mifled by the Fawning of the
Mother, but too often poifon'd by the Example of her
Maid. If Betty has a Gallant, fhe is the Depofitary of
her Secrets, fhe enters into the Intrigue, and is inform'd
of the Rife and Progrefs of the Adventure. Her Apart-
ment is the Place of Affignation and Rendevouz, and by
Confequence fhe is Witnefs of all thofe Follies that wait.
on Love between Perfons, whofe Paffion is greater than
their Confcience. Such Spectacles ftain the Imagination
of Children, they carve Devils in the Brains of thoſe,
yet innocent Angels; and tho' at prefent they make no
great Impreflion, they will in time cut out Work for her
young Ladyfhip. They will awake the Fury of Love,
and throw Fuel to this fiery Paffion, for fuch Sights, like
the Italian Poiſons, work fome Years after they are ta-
ken. The Memories of Youth are extreamly tenacious,
and if they are fullied with an indecent Object, will re-
collect it till at laſt they tranſcribe it.
a
Now whilft the young Lady makes fo fair a Progrefs in
the Science of the World, fhe is a meer Ignoramus in the
School of Heaven: Queſtion her about Religion, fhe is
Stranger to the Language. One would think the dropt
from the Moon, or had been train'd up among the Ca-
fres: She can fcarce diftinguiſh a Church from a Syna-
gogue, and knows no more of the Goſpel, than of the
Talmud or Alcoran. And indeed, poor Creature! How
fhould fhe be inftructed, but by immediate. Revelation?
The Credenda of Chriftianity are not infufed by Nature,
and the Agenda too are in great Part convey'd to us by the
Senfes. Now who takes Care to inftill thefe Principles
into young Ladies? The Mother has too much Work
on her Hands to undertake a new Employment, the Of-
fice of Catechift is below her Level, it's too pedantick.
and ſerious for a Perſon who affects Ignorance, and dotes
on Mirth and Levity. Befides, fhe fancies her Obliga-
tion only reaches the Body, that the Soul lies out of her
Jurifdiction; that if ſhe fits the Child for the Court, or
the Town, the diſcharges the Duty of a Mother.
Now
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 131
Now if my Lady forgets the most important Point of
Education, will Betty remember it? If the Mother, like
the Oſtrich, abandons her Young, and flies into the Wil-
dernefs, will the Maid be more careful? Alas! perchance
fhe is as little vers'd in the Catechifm as Mifs, and knows
no more from whence fhe came, or for what end ſhe was
placed in the World, than a Child in the Cradle. And
altho' fhe were able to inftruct, there is no depending on
her Will. Servants are mercenary, they have an Eye
on their own Advantage, they drudge for their own In-
tereft, not their Miftrefs's; and by Confequence to wind
themſelves into their Favour, they entertain 'em rather
with Things that pleafe, than with thofe that profit.
They are, in fine, a Race of Infects that bask in the
Sun, and cannot live without the Heat of their Ladies
Favours.
Now what can be expected from a Woman brought
up in Eafe, Luxury, and Vanity on the one Side, and in a
total Ignorance of Religion on the other? From a Wo-
man fluſh'd already in all the gaudy Amuſements of Va-
nity and Diverfion, and quite a Stranger to any future
Expectation? Who will bridle Paffion without Reaſon?
Or forego a prefent Satisfaction without fome Profpect
of a future? To fport down the Stream of Inclination
is pleafing; but to row against the Current is a fatiguing
Employment. Now no Man will tug at the Oar with-
out either the Hope of a Salary, or the Fear of a greater
Puniſhment. For Pleafure without Torments in Re-
mainder, is in moft Men's Opinion preferable to Vertue
without the Expectation of Reward. Having therefore
fo faint Invitations to Good, fo powerful, fo bewitching
Allurements to Evil, we must not wonder if Ladies fol-
low thofe Impreffions, if Vanity over-rules Duty, and
criminal Amuſements run down Morality. Thus equipt
young Ladies are configned to Husbands: They change
their Subjection, but not their Principles. With their
Portion they bring all the Extravagancies of their Child-
hood, and feldom refign 'em but with their laft Breath.
The firft Education finks deep, and in time twifts its
felf with Nature: You may with as much Eafe waſh an
Ethiopia white, as preach an ill-principled Girl into a
vertuous Woman. Here is the Caufe, Ladies, of your
Misfortune, the Origin of your Diſtemper.
K 3
Emil.
132 A SUPPLEMENT to the firft Part
Emil. Well! you have ſearch'd the Wound, I hope
you will apply the Remedy. Who knows the Caufe of
a Difeafe, cannot be ignorant of the Cure.
Eufeb. My Profeffion makes me unfit for the Employ-
ment. However, a Lady's Defire is a Command, and
requires Obedience.
DIALOGUE IV.
Ladies must avoid the Obftacles to Vertue.
Eufeb. YOUR Duty, Madam, branches into two
Heads. You are a Chriftian, and a Mother.
Theſe Relations call upon you; God has placed you in a
Station that requires a double Care, and you muſt extend
your Endeavours to the diſcharging of both; for if you
fail in one, you betray your Duty, and your eternal
Happineſs into the Bargain.
I.
1
That you may act the Part of a Chriſtian with a Plau-
dite, let your Thoughts dwell continually on this great
Principle, That you are born for Heaven, and that this Life
is but a fhort Paffage to Eternity. It's but a Flux of Mo-
ment that will end. It's a Stream that disembogues into
an Ocean, without Bottom, without Limit. It's not fuffi-
cient for a Pilot to know for what Place he is bound,
when he firſt weighs Anchor, and hoifts up the Sails;
no, he muſt carry it continually in his Thoughts, and in
his Eye: This Influences every Turn of the Stern; did
he once forget the Term of his Voyage, he would wan-
der on the Ocean at Random, and never reach the de-
fired Haven. Paradife is our Country, the World a Sea,
and our Actions muſt waft us over to that fortunate I-
fland. Now, how fhall we follow the Rule, and touch
the Bleffed Point, unless we daily confider under what
Degree of Latitude it lies? The Prophet Jeremy threw
all the Miſcarriages of the Jewiſh People upon their In-
confideration. The Earth lies defolate, fays he, because no
Man will take the Pains to enter upon the Confideration of
his Duty. And I fear the Miſeries of our prefent Nobi-
lity
1
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
133
lity fpring from the fame Fountain. Our Forefathers
have handed down to us this unfortunate Negligence,
and it has improved in the Journey. For did we feri-
ouſly reflect, that we are born in this World to live eter-
nally in another, and that our Vertues will be rewarded
with Glory, and our Vices with Fire; fhould we tire
our felves in the Purfuit of things meerly indifferent,
and criminal? Should we, like Children, fét our Hearts
upon Objects, not only trivial, but bafe and contempti-
ble, and truck our Souls for a Rattle? I fay, like Chil-
dren, for what is the difference between them, and our
high-flown Mortals; but that thefe deal in Money, Pa-
laces, Plate, and Diamonds; and thoſe in Babies, and
Hobby-horfes: So that at beft, if the Folly of thoſe is
more expenfive, the Childiſhneſs of theſe is more inno-
cent.
II.
The Doctrine of Chrift muſt be your Guide, you muſt
follow that Road he has plained by his Example, and
Points at in the Goſpel. As he has promiſed the Reward,
fo he has annex'd the Conditions, and we muſt make
good thefe, before we can lay any Claim to that.
Now the firft is, that we withdraw our Affections from
this World. Love not the World, fays he, its Maxims
are dangerous, its Converfation infectious, and its Em-
bracements mortal. Under the Appearance of a Friend,
it masks Treaſon, and under the Difguife of Pleaſure,
real Torments; it dafhes Honey with Gall, and throws
over Poiſon a palatable Reliſh: Its Principles claſh with
Chriſt's, and therefore you are warned to break off all
Correfpondence on pain of forfeiting God's Favour.
Whoever is a Friend to the World is God's Enemy. In
effect Chrift reads Leffons of Humility in almoft every
Leaf of the Goſpel; the World preaches up Pride, and
magnifies Vanity. Chrift commands us to contend for
the loweſt place, the World for the higheft; to pleaſe the
one, we muſt feat our Neighbour above our Heads, and
we must throw him under our Feet to content the other.
III.
Now there being no Mean between thoſe two Ex-
treams; no Place for Neutrality; will a reaſonable
Creature pauſe one Moment to what Side he must go
K 3
over?
134 A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
over? Whether Intereft lead him to join with our Savi-
our, or to take up with the World his Enemy? The very
Deliberation is no lefs fcandalous, than to debate, whe-
ther you ſhall apoftatize from God, for a Correfpondence
with the Devil; or deprive your felf of a real Satisfac-
tion in this World, with Heaven in Reverfion, for Mi-
fory traveftied, and Hell in Remainder?
For think not, Madam, that the Followers of Chrift
muſt forfwear Pleaſure, and give up their Pretenſions to
prefent Satisfactions. Though their Defires lodge in Hea-
ven, God antedates their Blifs on Earth; and gives 'em
in Hand an Earneft of thofe Joys, they will poflefs here-
after. For let me tell you, the Friendſhip of Heaven,
the Senfe of our Miſtakes, and the Pardon of our Sins
are tranſporting Prerogatives. Is it not a Pleaſure to
contemn the World? To be above all fublunary Trifles?
And to be a Slave to nothing? Is it not a charming Sa-
tisfaction to have a clear Confcience? To neither dote on
Life, nor to fear Death? Theſe are Delights above all
the ſmooth Senfations of material Organs: And befides,
they lie out of the reach of foreign Accidents, they are
always at Hand, and coft us nothing.
IV.
Now what are thofe fine Things the World offers, and
we fo eagerly fly at? They are good in fhew, and evil
at the bottom; they are pofleft with Fear, and loft with
Regret; they pamper Senfe, and rack Reaſon: For,
in fine, they are all reduc'd to Concupifcence of the
Fleſh, Concupifcence of the Eyes, and Pride of Life, i. e.
to Senfuality and Honour: Theſe make up the World's
Riches, and our Torment: Theſe are the Bleffings fo
much talk'd of, fo much adored, fo dearly bought, and
loft fo eafily: And yet they are a meer Sound, a Name,
and nothing. Let us defcend to Particulars.
V.
The Concupifcence of the Flefh takes in all thofe Plea-
fures that cajole Senfe, and end in Brutality; and what
Effect do they work upon us? Why they glide upon
the Organ, they print a ſmooth Impreffion, and lay us
upon the level with Animals. So that all we dare ex-
pect from fenfual Satisfactions is, to be made miferable
Men,
of the GENTLEMAN Inſtructed.
135
Men, and happy Beafts. Now, methinks, a Man's Brains
muſt be ill placed, who pawns Confcience and Heaven
for a Prerogative, fo ill-favoured and abafing.
VI.
Let us fuppofe the moſt exquifite Fowl of the Air fly
to your Table: That France, Italy, and Spain furnish
you the moſt excellent Wines: What can Tafle defire
more? Yet when once Nature is fatisfied, the eating is
no more a Pleaſure but a Torment. For to feel the Sto-
mach overcharged, the Body difabled, and the Fumes of
Ragoos in the Head is no great Satisfaction, unleſs
Excefs changes our Conftitution, and turns Pain into
Pleaſure, and Health into a Burthen. In fine, the De-
light flashes away in a Moment, and the Surfeit ſticks
by us a Fortnight: It preys upon our Vitals, and if it
does not choak 'em, it's fure to diforder 'em; and after
ends in a Winding-fheet.
Indeed, Hearing is not fo pleaſant a Senſe, it rather
Courts the Soul than Storms, and if the Pleaſure it con-
veys be lefs boisterous, it's generally more innocent: But
however, it's too airy to be durable, and too fleeting
to be relied on. For, what is it but a Perception of
mov'd Air, that beats upon the Tympanum, and gently
drums upon accuftick Fibres? And can any thing be
more unmanly than to build our Happineſs on ſo weak a
Foundation? Befides, this Pleafure is fhorter lived, than
thofe Animals that cannot out-live one Day. I have
feen the fame Hand that charm'd the Company the firſt
Hour, tire it the ſecond, and thofe very Stroaks that at
firft raiſed Tranſports, in the end grated upon the Ear,
and became troubleſome. Indeed this Pleaſure is lufci-
ous, but it gluts in a Moment, and, like Sweet-meats,
breeds a Surfeit. Now, methinks, a Man muſt put a
mean Valuation upon Chrift to leave him for a Touch
upon an Inftrument, and a faint Idea of future Tor-
ments to be fiddled and mufick'd into Hell.
·
Do not miſtake me; I am not for tying Damnation
to an airy Sonnet. I know we may regale our Ears with
a Ragoo of Italian Symphonies, without the Penalty of
eternal Weeping; for I have told you, the obliging of
this Senfe is more fooliſh than criminal. But however
the Effects are dangerous, for Mufick has a ftrange Af-
cendant
K 4
136
A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
cendant over our Paffions; it heats and cools 'em, it ruf-
fles and tranſports 'em, it moulds and faſhions 'em to any
Figure; it awakes the Fury of Anger, and conjures up
the Devil of Love: And theſe two Fiends drive full ſpeed
to Hell and Damnation. Caution alone faved Ulyffes.
He would not truft his Vertue with a fine Voice; nor his
Philoſophy with a warbling Donna Margarita; he rather
chofe to refign the Pleafure of a Sola, than to fuffer the
Misfortune of a Shipwreck; and would not barter his
dear purchaſed Herofhip for a Song.
It were to be wiſh'd our Gentry of both Sexes carried
Wax in their Ears as well as this Heathen General; their
Occafions often exact the Precaution They fteer be-
tween the Rocks, and Syrens lie in Ambuſcade to infnare
'em. In theſe Circumſtances the leaft Overfight is mortal;
if we don't keep at a Diſtance from the Whirlpool, we
fhall be fuck'd in by the Eddy. How many, for want
of Care, have ſplit upon the Quickfands? Was not Ma-
dam W. plaid out of her Reputation, and violin'd into a
Match below her Quality? And how many Gentlemen
have been fung out of their Innocence at the Play-houſe,
and Mufick-Meetings?
Tho' therefore Mufick in its felf be innocent, it's often
fatal in the Confequence, and ftrikes us at Rebound. And
this is enough to roufe up a Chriftian's Care; where
Duty obliges him not only to avoid downright Sin, but
the very Tendency to it.
But alas! the Poiſon lies not only in the Notes, the
very Words carry Infection: They are ſoft and amorous,
and either blame Honefty, or provoke to Debauchery;
they either perfonate the Deſpair of an abandon'd, or the
Triumphs of a fuccefsful Lover. Now what is this but
Stratagem to fet ill Humours at Work, and to make foft
Rhime a Conveyance to Deftruction? And indeed ſome
Songs expreſs fo lively ill Practice, that it's not eaſy to
diſtinguiſh the very Fact from the Repreſentation. And
ſo the Minſtril inftills all the Diſeaſes of Rage and Love
he counterfeits. It's true, the Tongue preſents the Poi-
fon, but the Ear drinks it, and both are guilty; for the
difference of the Organ makes a fmall Alteration in the
Action. In fine, Ladies, fuch Madrigals are only fit to
be fung by the Devils, and to be heard by the damned.
VII. The
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 137
VII.
The other Obftacles that ftand between us, and the
Compliance with our Duty are the deluding Pageants of
worldly Felicity; fine Sights, a glorious. Retinue, and
fwelling Titles. Now what is all this Appearance but a
Scene of Vanity? That Philofopher was not miſtaken,
who faid, That the juft Value of Things are known by
their End, as Men by their Faces. And if we take the
Dimenfions of all human Happineſs by this unerring
Scale, how thin, how little, how contemptible will it
appear even to purblind Reafon?
Tho' we ſuppoſe it conftant to our Intereft, that it
waits upon us to the Grave, we then muſt take leave of
it, and bid adieu to all thofe Objects that dazzled our
Eyes, and led our Hearts captive. Nothing will be per-
mitted to pafs with us into Eternity, but our Vertues.
and our Vices: Thofe to refreſh, thefe to torment us.
God pronounc'd the Sentence of Death againſt the whole
Race of Adam; and tho' upon Occafions he has difpenfed
with other Laws, this has and will remain inviolable.
The moſt evident Principles have been question'd by
fome, and deny'd by others; all Errors have found Abet-
tors, but I never read of any Man fo extravagantly
fooliſh as to doubt of Mortality. The Church-yards
proclaim this Truth, the marble Maufolea's of Princes di-
vulge it, and our dead Parents in a Mute, but emphatick
Language, tell us, we must follow. In fine, it's decreed
that all Men mußt die. Seeing therefore all worldly Hap-
pineſs will once expire, and perchance, even when we
expect no Alteration; what can it deferve but Scorn and
Contempt? How can that be called a Happineſs, that
ends in Mifery, and will be follow'd by Repentance?
Nay, the Manner of leaving it is oftentimes far
more miferable than the End it felf. The great Antio-
chus, when Profperity ran high, forgot he was a Man:
Victory waited on his Standards, and Succeſs crown'd
his Enterprizes: But if his Felicity was ftupendious, the
End of it was no lefs amazing. This glorious Prince fell
firſt into a mortal Melancholy; then a loathſome Diſeaſe ;
his Bowels glow'd with a raging Fire; and every Mem-
ber that had contributed to his Pleaſure, increas'd his
Torment. He call'd upon Death as the fole Remedy of
his
138
A SUPPLEMENT to the firft Part
his Difafter, and doted on that fatal Moment he once
trembled at. All the Treaſures heap'd up by Rapine,
were unable to purchaſe the flumber of an Hour. His
corrupted Carcafs exhaled fo infupportable an Infection,
that he was a Burthen to his Friends, and a Hell to him-
felf. Thus he breath'd out his wretched Soul in a Tem-
peft of Rage and Defpair, and died rather the Object of
Compaffion than Envy.
What fhall I fay of Nero, Vitellius, and Andronicus?
They faw the World at their Feet, and ſparkling Diadems
on their Heads; they were rather worſhip'd as Gods, than
ferv'd as Men; yet all this Glory ended in Outrage and
Infamy: The first fell by his own Hand; the others by
the Cruelty of the enrag'd Mob, that rather ſtudied to
torment thoſe unfortunate Princes, than to butcher 'em.
Could Women mount higher than Jezabel, or Cleopa-
tra? The one gave Laws to an opulent Kingdom, the
other to an Empire; both fwum in Pleaſure, and were
almoft over-fet with Profperity. But alas! their Gran-
deur, like the Ice of one Night, melted away in a Mo-
ment: The Babel of their Greatneſs funk under its own
Weight, and buried 'em under the Ruins. The firſt was
prey'd upon by Dogs, and the ſecond fell by the Sting
of a Viper. What reaſonable Creature would take theſe
Peoples Felicity together with their Mifery? Who would
lead their Lives, and undergo the Cruelty of their Deaths?
Can any thing more clearly evidence the Bafeneſs of
human Greatnefs, than thefe fudden Turns of For-
tune. So that the Carthaginian Captain now mortally
wounded, when he faw the World behind him, and
Death before him, had Reaſon to read his ſurviving Bro-
ther this ſeaſonable Leffon. To Pride, dear Brother, in
Greatneſs, is a pompous Folly; high Commands ftand
expos'd to mighty Chances. The beſt built Fortune muſt
yield to Hazard, or fubmit to Time: Nothing is certain
in this Life, but Death. What am I the better for having
fubdued Provinces by my Valour, and butcher'd Armies
in my Fury? I feel at prefent that Violence others have
felt from me. What vaft Deſigns you rowl in your
Brains? What Sieges? What Victories? But alas! all
this is glorious only in Idea, great in Fancy, and nothing
in it felf but Vanity: Read your Deſtiny in mine; and
remember, that tho' you efcape the Stroak of Violence,
Nature
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
139
Nature will put a Stop to your Atchievements. Here is
Spirit and Heat, Pathos, and Emphafis, and, what is
more, Truth upon Experiment: And yet this Man was
no St. Paul in a Pulpit, but a Pagan-General in the
Camp: He had but an imperfect View of the future Pu-
niſhments that treads on the Heels of great Felicity.
VIII.
If you will not ftand to the Judgment of a Pagan, I
will put the Iffue of the Caufe upon your own.
But I
muſt firſt feat you in a Region above thofe Mifts that
darken Reaſon, and biafs the Underſtanding; and what
Place more proper than the Death-bed? Let us there-
fore contemplate your Ladyfhip in this Pofture ftrug-
gling with a burning Fever, without Strength, without
Vigour, ready to leave all Things, and to be abandon'd
by all. Your Head burns, your Heart pants, and
the Violence of the Diftemper hurries Pain into every
Artery. You turn your felf into a thouſand Poftures;
but though you change Place, your Torment fol-
lows. Your Bed of Down gives no Eafe, nor can your
whole Eſtate buy it. We will ſuppoſe, Madam Lucia
runs through all the Arguments of the Stoicks, and mar-
fhals up all her Eloquence to raiſe your drooping Spi-
rits. It's in vain, dear Emilia, to ftruggle againſt Mor-
tality, there is no Recipe in the Diſpenſatory of Phyfici-
ans againſt Death; it's a Debt we owe to Nature, and
it muſt be paid. But at least you will leave behind an
honourable Memory; you have acted a topping Part,
and you go off the Stage with Applaufe. Every one
does Juftice to your Merit, and even thoſe who envy
your Fortune, confefs you deſerve a greater. The La-
dies admire your Wit, the Gentlemen your Beauty, and
all, your Breeding. Dryden has eternized your rare Per-
fections in Verfe, and your Name together with your
Titles ftand at the Epistle Dedicatory in Folio; fo that
when you die, you will live by Proxy, and your Fame
will furvive the Coffin. Will fuch an atheiſtical Homily
put an irregular Fulfe in Order? Will it heal a wounded
Confcience? Alas! Madam, the Elogiums of the Living
make weak Impreffions on the Souls of the Dead. Tho
I praiſe Cleopatra's Beauty in all Company, will fhe be
lefs miferable? Becauſe I admire the Power of Semira-
mis,
F
#
140
A SUPPLEMENT to the firft Part
mis, will my Wonder extinguiſh the Fire and Brimstone
that eternally confumes her? Will Crafus be Rich, be-
cauſe I magnify his paft Treaſures? Will Alexander be
at Eaſe, becauſe I commend his Courage? Or Sardana-
palus in Pleaſures, becauſe he was once happy? Poor
Creatures! They underſtand themſelves and their fad
Condition too well to receive Flattery, and are too em-
phatically miferable to be refreſh'd with the Remem-
brance of paft Follies. Thofe that are laugh'd at by the
Saints, and tormented by the Omnipotent, find fmall
Satisfaction in the vain Huzza's of Fools or Sycophants.
They are praifed where they are not, and are tortured
where they are.
And to come home to your Ladyfhip, give me the
Freedom to put you this Queſtion. When you find your
felf upon the Brink of Eternity, will the Remembrance
of your quondam Pleafures open a Profpect of Joy, or of
Repentance? Will you ratify your paft Conduct, or de-
plore it with Tears, or perchance with all the Pangs of
Rage and Deſpair? Will not worldly Happineſs, you
once rated ſo high, fall low in your Opinion? And will
you not wish rather to have contemned the glittering
Vanities of the World, than to have enjoy'd 'em? For,
in fine, Madam, you will then acknowledge a Truth
you have now no Inclination to learn; that your Bufi-
nefs is not to be great, but good; not to make a Fi-
gure here, but hereafter. Let me therefore conclude with
the wifeft of Men; Beauty and Complexion are vain, but
a Woman that feareth the Lord fhall be praised.
And now, methinks, I have faid enough to perfuade a
reaſonable Creature, that the dazzling Prefents of the
World are painted Nothings, varnifh'd Impoftures, and
gilt Illufions. That tho' they fmooth the Brow, they
are too fuperficial to fill the Heart, and rather fafcinate
than delight; and yet theſe Toys are the only Barriers
that ſtand between us and Heaven. Could we but once
heartily fall out with 'em, and regard 'em as Snares ra-
ther than Favours, Virtue would be planted without
Labour in our Souls; it would grow up almoft without
Pain. But whilft our Hearts.cling to Earth, our De-
fires cannot fly higher. They relifh nothing but Co-
lour and Surface, and ftudy to oblige Senfe, and to gra-
tify Paffion. Hence flow thofe Sins that ftab the Soul,
and
of the GENTLEMAN Inſtructed.
141.
and lead it to Perdition; that cut off our Right to
Chrift's Promifes, and give us over to his Manaces. If
therefore you intend to live up to the Gofpel, you muſt
break off with the World. This is the first Step to Ver-
tue, a neceffary Prerequifite to a holy Life; for Sin and
Vertue can't lodge together.
Emil. You have held forth upon Love not the World
to the Purpoſe, and have lafh'd Grandeur, Wealth, and
Pleaſure, like a Galley-flave. But, methinks, you have car-
ry'd Invective too far, and flouriſh'd upon Vanitas Vani-
tatum beyond Meaſure and Juftice. For if what you
fay be true, Chriftianity pens up our Liberty in a nar-
row Compaſs, and our Pleaſure in lefs; and then how
fhall we reconcile that Freedom Chrift purchas'd by his
Death, to that Slavery you impofe? Did God create the
World to tantalize us? And fhew the Beauties of the
Univerſe merely to throw us into a Fit of Longing?
Luc. Let him talk, Madam, Chrift's Religion is Ca-
tholick, our Creed is pofitive; it is not cut out only for
Job's and Lazarus's, but for Kings and Empreffes. Why
therefore muſt we difmifs our Equipage, or commence
Apoftates? Will you have Ladies turn off their Coaches
to walk in Pattins, like Milk-maids and Oyfter-women?
Muſt they melt down their Plate, and make over their
Jointures to the Blue-Boys of Chrift-Church? Under fa-
vour, Sir, Chrift is neither Leveller nor Tyrant. Not
one Text in Scripture ties Sin to Silks, nor Damination
to Sattin; we may glitter in Silver here, and fhine in
Glory hereafter.
-
Eufeb. I have indeed enlarg'd upon the Text, Love not
the World, but when the Enemy is upon the Coaft, it's
time to fire the Beacon. Is not a Caveat feaſonable,
when you are within an inch of a Precipice? Our Savi-
our has thunder'd a thouſand Woes against the World
and its befotted Lovers; he cautions us againſt its Charms,
both in Parable and Precept; and yet in Spight of his
Command we run into its Embracements, and pawn
Heaven for Trifles. Methinks Warmth and Severity too
are very warrantable on an Occafion fo preffing and ex-
traordinary. If a Merchant put upon your Ladyfhip
Bristol-Stones for Emerauds, or Venice-Glafs for Dia-
monds, would you frown upon a Friend for difcovering
the Cheat? The World impofes upon you counterfeit
Coin
142 A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
Coin for Sterling, Tinfel for Gold, and imaginary Hap
pinefs for real Satisfaction. I have laid open the Impo-
fture, and you complain I am too hard upon the Decei-
ver. Is it fo obliging a Civility to protect your Purſe,
and fo clownish a Service to fave your Soul? Are Guineas
fo precious, and Souls fo contemptible? fo cheap?
You ftand upon Chriftian Freedom, but you ſtretch
the Prerogative too far. For tho' Chrift has knock'd off
your Chains, and freed you from the Slavery of the De-
vil, he has not exempted you from the Subjection of his
Laws: No, Madam, you live within his Jurifdiction,
though you take a ramble to the Indies; and you muſt
obey his Command, or pay for the Tranfgreffion. Your
Liberty, therefore, though great, is reftrain'd by Chrift's
Grant, and your Freedom is incumbred with Provi-
foes.
Nor did God create the World to tempt our Vertue,
but to poliſh it for our Ufe, not for our Vanity; and
furniſh'd this noble Apartment for our Paffage, not for
our Dwelling. Ufe then the World, and love it alſo;
but, as Men do Phyfick, meerly for Health. I would not
counſel Ladies nor Lords to eaſe themſelves of their Mo-
ney, as old Crates did, but then they must not over-
look all the Laws of Nature to fwell their Stock; they
muft not circumvent and counterfeit, nor dafh Things
out of one Nature, and brew 'em in another. They
muft not uſe light Weights, and falfe Meaſures, and
haggle away Confcience for a Penny, and Heaven for Six
Pence: They must not rack Tenants to feed Luft; nor
pay their Lackey's Service with Baftinado's, nor their
Chamber-Maids with ill Language.
If you remember, Madam, I told you at our laft Inter-
view, you might alſo eat wholſome Food, that you might
fleep on an eaſy Bed, and wear good Linen; that you
might fometimes grace the Boxes with your Prefence,
and air your Body either in Coach, or on Foot. But
then Chriſt forbids you to run ſtark Mad after theſe A-
mufements, to devote all your Time to Diverfion, and
not a Moment to your Duty. He forbids you to fleep
out the Day, and to dance out the Night, to lead the
Lives of Bats, or Screech Owls. In fine, Madam, you
may allow the Tafte fweet Meats, and the Eye fine
Sights, provided you truck not your Soul for the Satif-
faction.
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 143
faction. Let Senſe fometimes play; but then be ſure
Reaſon ftands upon the Guard, and keeps it within the
Bounds of Moderation. For theſe animal Faculties are
wanton and craving, and if left to themſelves, they'll
vault over the Pale of Law and Duty, and wheedle in the
Heart to follow their Ramble. This is St. Paul's Caution
in 2 Cor. chap. vii. Let those who have Wives, be as if
they had none: Those that weep, as if they did not weep: Thofe
that rejoice, as if they did not rejoice: Thofe that buy, as if
they poffefs nothing; and those that use the Goods of this
World, as if they us'd them not. That is, though theſe
worldly Objects affect the Senfes, they muft not touch
the Heart, this muſt ſtand above their Reach, and be
Proof to all their Solicitation. It muft, like the Sun,
that gilds the very Mire without being fullied, paſs thro'
thefe killing Vanities without catching the Infection.
Now this being fo, we are not fo.confin'd as you ima-
gine; we have Liberty to be merry, tho' not to be
mad; and I ſuppoſe this Abridgement is no Breach of
our Magna Charta.
Neand. Methinks, Ladies, Eufebius is orthodox. He
ſeems neither to tie up our Senſes too fhort, nor to give
'em too much Line. He keep within a juft Mein be-
twixt Severity and Indulgence, and neither fets Appetite
at large, nor the Gofpel upon the Rack. It's the Abufe
of worldly Pleaſures he blames, not a moderate Ufe:
this ftands with Chrift's Law, and is practicable too. If
we keep a heavy Hand over Senfe, and upon Occafions
refufe it thofe Diverfions that are lawful, we may eafily
withdraw it from thoſe that are forbid: But if we leave
it to its felf, and lay the Reins on its Neck, we ſhall find
our ſelves in a Precipice. For whoever turns Nature
loofe, makes the pleafing Senfations of Senfe her End,
and fo becomes a Lady of Pleafure. Now this Epithet
in the Senſe of our modifh Dialect founds harſh and ſcan-
dalous, and indeed in the more vulgar Acceptation it
grates upon the Ear, for they are often incident; for that
Lady who makes Pleaſure her Bufinefs, will catch at any;
and if an innocent one comes not in her way, Paffion
will ſuggeſt thofe that are innocent: And then how can
we perfuade our felves that he who lives for Diverſion
will refuſe the Occafion?
Emil
144
A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
per-
Emil. You have remov'd the Obſtacles to a Chriftiani
Life, pray inform us now in what this confifts, for I
ceive we live under pofitive Precepts as well as Nega-
tive; and as Chriſt forbids fome things, fo he com-
mands others.
Eufeb.
DIALOGUE V.
They must practice Humility and Modefty.
I.
Ternitati Pingo, faid once a famous Painter.
Let our Defign in every Action look as far.
Why fhall the Expectation of a vain Applauſe work
more powerfully on a deluded Pagan, than the glorious
Promiſes of our Almighty Saviour upon Chriftians? E-
very vertuous Action, as St. Bernard notes, pafles, but
does not perifh; it's a heavenly Seed, that dies for a
time to revive in Eternity.
II.
Regard each Day as the laft, and behave your ſelf as
if you ſhould not fee to Morrow. The Reafon why we
manage fo much Time ill, is, becauſe we always fuppofe
we have too much on our Hands to husband well.
We
build upon the Future that lies out of our Reach, and
by Confequence is not at our Difpofal; nay, and per-
chance never will; and thus we leave our Souls to
Chance, and truft Hazard with our Salvation. Whereas,
did we perfuade our felves we were upon a Removal,
we ſhould lay up fome Treaſure for our Journey, and ſend
Vertue before to prepare our Lodgings. For our Recepti-
on in the next World will anſwer our Behaviour in this.
What we fow in our Lives, we shall reap after our Deaths.
If Vice, Torments; if Vertue, Pleaſure.
III.
The Piety of a Chriſtian confifts in Works, not Words:
And therefore we fall fhort of our Duty, tho' we ſpeak
well, if we live ill. Celia was continually upon the To-
pick of Vertue; fhe forced its Panegyrick upon all Com-
pany,
.:
1
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
145
pany, and pour'd out its Encomiums at Random in all
Converfations. One would have thought ſhe had Curam
Animarum, and that half the Ladies of the Court were
her Parishioners in fpight of the Curate of St. Martin's
or St. James's. I confefs her Devotion appear'd to me
more affected than real. I thought it had more Flame
than Fire; and that the harangued in Jeft, becauſe ſhe
ſeem'd ſo much in Earneft. But Authors were divided up-
on the Queftion; for fome without Appeal to the Reta
were for canonizing her, and a pious Sifter would needs
remove St. Ambrofe, to find her a Place in the Calendar.
What a precious Soul is this, cried the? Good God! Her
Tongue trots fo faft Heavenwards, her Heart muft needs
gallop after in fine, fhe fpeaks the Language of Sion,
and therefore must not be of the Seed of Canaan,
But after all, this Lady's Devotion was,mere Sound,
with a Dafh of Mein and Grimace. Her Anger was vio-
lent, and her Vanity extream. She never baulk'd one
Paffion, without gratifying another; and if fhe practifed
a Vertue, 'twas to make room for a darling Vice. Had,
fhe ſpoke lefs, and done more, fhe had come nearer the
Mark of her Profeffion. For as Nazianzen obferves, A
vertuous Action, though mute, is worth a Folio of Rhetorick
without Effect. Run not into this Folly. The Tongue of
an Angel, without the Heart of a Seraphin, is infignifi-
cant; it may indeed procure fome Repute in a Female
Congregation, but will not gain one Grain of Glory in
Heaven.
IV.
In all your Actions feek God alone, and never make
your ſelf a Slave to the Applaufe of Men, Hypocriſy and
Diffimulation are always increditable, but in Matters of
Religion monftrous to a Sacrilege: To fweat in this
World, and be tormented in the next; to labour with the
Saints, and burn with the Devils, is frenzy. Yet, alas!
how many are found Saint without, and Fiend within ?
Who cloath Vice with the Robes of Vertue, and fo walk
in a Road to Hell, whilft they pretend to march for
Heaven. Cynthia fet up for a Saint of the firft Magni-
tude; but the built all her Piety upon Hypocrify. She
took her Plan from the Pharifees, and modell'd her Con-
duct by their Practice. She was a moft rigid Genevian;
firft fram'd by Baxter, and then polifh'd on Bridges's
L
Anvil.
L
146 A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
Anvil. She had the turn of the Eye in Perfection, and
topp'd the Twang of the Predeftinate. Nay, fome ſay ſhe
could wind a Church of England Lady fevenfcore, and a
Papift a Mile at leaft. She pray'd in de la Sol Re, and
groan'd the Family into a Quartan Ague: And what is
ftrange, this holy impulfe feldom came upon her but in
Company. She conftantly read Scripture at the Win-
dow, and at laft became a Nuifance to the Neighbour-
hood. I never heard her, but I fancy'd my felf in Beth-
lem, at a Lecture of Oliver's Porter. She continually
harp'd upon the Baptift's Exhortation to the Jews, and
figh'd out, Repent! Repent! with an Emphaſis. Good God!
faid I to my felf, what Farce, what Illufion is here?
to correct Sin with Pride, and preach Repentance with
Hypocrify is amazing. Now all this Grimace run upon
Intereft. The Lady had a Month's Mind to hear Mr. B.
prone upon her heavenly Gifts in the Congregation.
And indeed he ſpent his Lungs, and laid out a world of
Cant, and myftical Jargon upon the Subject. But this
was not all, a well-meaning Brother of the Godly Party,
had an Impulſe to pair only in the Lord. He was brim-
ful of the Spirit, and well ftock'd with a Creature Men
call Gold. He was more inquifitive for a godly Yoak-.
fellow, than a beautiful one; and priz'd the Wealth of
the Soul above all the vile Trinkets of Fortune. Cynthia
put in for the Bigot. The good Man bit at the Hook,
and her Grimaces gain'd her twenty thouſand Pounds,
and in time coft him as many Curfes. Her Voice was
Jacob's, but he had the Hands of Efau. Her Piety car-
ry'd a fair Appearance, but under the Mask lurk'd Dif
fimulation and Intereft. Though fhe ftole the good
Man's Purſe, ſhe pawn'd Confciences; and confequently,
the Gain did not balance the Lofs; and what is won-
derful, fhe pretended by the fame Legerdemain to lay in
as good a Stock for Heaven, as fhe had for the World, and
to over-reach God, as fhe had wheedled the good Man.
Well, faid I, Confcience, I fee, is pliable, and Inte-
reft can force it, like Proteus, into all Shapes. Thus
we make Partiality the Scale of Virtue, and every
intereſted Sifter has Midas's Faculty of touching every
thing into Gold. Pray, Madam, efpoufe not this Lady's
Morals, her Cafuiftry is too indulging, and obliges our
vicious Inclinations too much to come up to the Stan-
dard
#
of the GENTLEMAN Inſtructed.
147
dard of Chriſt's. He will have the Heart as well as the
Action, and will not go halves with Intereft; if you
drudge for temporal Profit, you defeat all Pretenfions to
eternal. Nay, if you obferve Chrift's Law upon fuch
baſe Views, you will be caft out of Heaven with Hypo-
crites that tranfgrefs it. Our Saviour commands us to
keep our Piety to ourſelves, and to confine it to Darkneſs
and Secrecy. Nay, when we faſt we muſt perfume our
Head, powder our Hair, vamp up our Complexion, and
upon fo extraordinary Occafions, Ladies. may be per-
mitted perchance the uſe of Waſhes, to conceal from
the Eyes of Men this Mortification. Vertue, like Glafs,
is eafily fullied; a Word oftentimes tarnishes its Luftre,
and a Look, like the Eye of a Bafilisk, murders it.
However, omit not a good Deed out of an Apprehen-
fion of being diſcovered. This would be to ftretch Cau-
tion too far, and to keep up to one Precept by the Breach
of another. For though our Saviour in one Place recom-
mends Privacy, in another he orders us to be vertuous in
Publick for Édification. Let 'em fee your good Works,
and let 'em glorify your Father which is in Heaven. Gre-
gory the Great, in Matth. xiii. handfomely reconciles
thefe Texts, that feem to jarr; let our Actions be pub-
lick, but let our Intention be fecret; that at once we may
edify our Neighbour by our Example, and by our Inten
tion to pleaſe God alone, wifh it were private.
Let therefore your Devotion have no Tincture of
earthly Views; let it aim at God's Honour, and your
Soul's Salvation; and if you purchafe Heaven, you have
crown'd your Labour. But in the mean time, fear not
to ftand up for Virtue, and fhew you are in earneſt by
your Practice: So many go over to Vice, and ſo hearti-
ly carry on its Intereft, it's neceflary for the Friends of
Godliness to make fome Provifion againſt the Affaults of
ſo prevailing a Party, and fo convince the World, Virtue
is not quite forfaken. Now who are more proper to raiſe
Virtue, and humble Vice, than Ladies of Quality?
They are expos'd to the View of the Vulgar, and re-
ceive Homage and Incenfe, like the old Female Deities,
from their Inferiors; they are aped by the Sex of a
lower Rate; their Faſhions, Mien, Geſture, and Car-
riage are copied by Citizens Wives and Daughters, and
thefe Pretenders to Politenefs, glory in the very Follies of
a Lady.
L 2
148
A SUPPLEMENT to the firft Part
a Lady. Now feeing you have fuch an Afcendant over
them, why may you not lure 'em to Godliness as well as
to Vice? Why may they not fall in Love with your
chriſtian, as well as your worldly Deportment, and faſhion
their Conduct by yours, as well as their Commodes?
Virtue in Embroidery is more amiable than Vanity in
its most dazling Equipage; its Charms are attractive;
and when once People are convinc'd they may be fine
without, and rich within; that they may live great and
innocent too, it's odds, they'll rather chufe to live gen-
teelly and pleafantly with a good Confcience, than like
Reprobates with a bad one. And if once Virtue be fa-
fhionable among the Ladies, it may in time be alamode
among the Gentlemen alfo. For, with thefe, their Ap-
probation is a kind of Law almoſt as inviolable as thoſe
of the Medes and Perfians: And Men will rather fuffer
a Reftraint, and clap Nature under Hatches, than pur-
chafe a petty Satisfaction at the Rate of a Lady's Dif-
pleafure. Thus, becaufe Women have an Averfion to
a tempestuous Converfation, and ſtart almoſt as much at
a Hector's Oath, as at the Report of his Piftol; no Man
of Breeding will any more fwear, than duel in their Pre-
fence. Now if a Principle of Civility can bridle one
Vice, why can't it filence another? And thus, Madam,
you may become an Apoftle without the Labour of
preaching; for Example moves more than Homily,
though it be lefs clamorous.
V.
Humility is the Foundation of all Virtues, it's the
Gate of Religion, primus Religionis introitus, fays Cy-
prian; and he deferves the Name of Infidel, who is un-
Faithful to this favourite Virtue of God made Man. To
fay that Ladies have no need of Humility, is to fay the
Sick have no need of Health, nor the Indigent of Sup-
port. It's neceffary for all, but Ladies cannot be ſaved
without it. For befides the common Infection of Pride
they inherit from their firft Parent, what additional In-
creaſe do they receive from other Quarters? Quality and
Equipage warm the Paffion; Flattery and Courtship
quicken it; and the innate Propenfion of the Sex it felf
fets it afloat. And when ſuch a multitude of Channels
feed the Humour, what wonder if it fwells over the
Banks, and bears down Virtue together with Reafon?
1
Indeed
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
149
Indeed to ftand on Tiptoe upon fuch trifling Advanta-
ges, is an evident Mark of a ftrong Paffion, or a weak
Judgment; and I eafily perfuade my felf, that Ladies
would ſtoop lower, did they but take the Pains to confi-
der upon how groundlefs Pretenfions they fly fo high.
Your Father bore Title and Efcutcheon, but was not
your Mother a Chamber-maid? If fo, I would defire you
not to ſcrew up your Quality too high; for, like the
Dutch Coin, it's only half Sterling. You are a kind of
Mulattoe, European on the one fide, and Savage on the
other; i. e. a Compound of Gentleman and Spinftrefs.
What is here that deferves an over-weaning Conceit?
But though your Blood has run from Hector and Az-
dromache, thro' an undefiled Channel into your Veins,
manage the Advantage with Modefty, and do not mag-.
nify it beyond Proportion. For after all, this refined
Blood, if tried in the Laboratory, will prove tainted up-
on Experiment; and an Alchymift will draw as fine Spi-
rits from that of a 'Dairy-Maid, as from that of a
Duchefs. Could our Anceſtors make over their Virtues
by Will; could they ſettle upon their Defcendants Senſe
and Merit, together with their Titles and Lordships;
brave Progenitors would be a great Privilege. But alas!
Theſe towering, theſe ennobling Prerogatives are meerly
perfonal; they are incommunicable Perfections, and nei-
ther defcend to Heirs Male or Female by Right of Gift.
Believe me, Madam, noble Minds, and mighty Digni-
ties, go not always together. I have often feen Wit in
the Coach-box, and Folly in the Coach; Beauty in
Linfey-woolfey, and Deformity in Sattin; Merit in the
Maid, and none in my Lady. Now, methinks, Quality
waited on by the whole Retinue of Title and Equipage,
being neither the Purchaſe of our Induſtry, nor the Re-
ward of our Merit, fhould not work upon our Vanity,
nor fwell our Prefumption. We ſhould rather thank Pro-
vidence for the Favour, than Pride in the Gift; for, in
fine, we have no more Reaſon to look big upon the Mat-
ter, that a Genet in embroidered Harnefs.
But if your Parts and Quality are not of a Piece, if
this raiſes you above the common Level, and thofe throw
you below it, you are only indebted to Nobility for the
Poft of a Scaramouch, to divert your Inferiors, and to
be fcorn'd by your Equals.
I 3
And
150 A SUPPLEMENT to the firft Part
And as for Equipage and Attendance, tho' it makes a
gaudy Shew, at Bottom it's rather trivial than fignifi-.
cant, and has more of Appearance than Reality. For
it only argues either fome Credit, much Money, or more
Vanity. Now theſe Advantages are of a baſe Alloy,
and they must be gazed on through ftrange Glaffes to
appear confiderable. Madam P's Credit run her in every
Merchant's Book, from the Exchange in the Strand, to
that in the City. She waded Chin-deep, but by Mif-
fortune, tho' Credit enter'd her Name in fo many, it
was unable to crofs it out of one; fo that it had been
greater, had it been lefs. For, in fine, fhe run on Tick,
till fhe funk her Purfe with her Credit, and then fhe
curfed her Merchant's Credulity, and her own Folly.
Money indeed has fome Charms, it feeds Vanity, and
cafts a fparkling Varnifh over Peafantry and Meannefs;
but alas! this Luftre is borrow'd, it's a meer Glow-
worm Light, that dazzles more than it warms; it comes
from Fortune, not from Nature or Complexion; it gilds
the Outfide, and ſports upon the Superficies, but leaves
the Infide as naked as it found it. In fine, it makes Peo-
ple often worſe, but feldom better, and gives 'em the
Opportunity of playing the Prodigal or the Mifer.
But nothing enlivens Womens Pride more than Flat-
tery and Courtship; and yet what can be imagined more
filly? They are fo over-charged with Prefumption and
Self-love, that they believe themſelves Miftreffes of all
thoſe Perfections, Brain-fick Lovers, or fawning Syco-
phants are pleaſed to affign 'em; and fometimes miſtake
a plain Satyr for a Panegyrick, and grow big of Con-
ceit for being lampoon'd. The Queen Stratonica had
not one Hair on her Head, and yet fhe gave a Poet fix
hundred Crowns for comparing it to a Violet. The Com-
pariſon was new indeed, and the Analogy fo far fetch'd,
that it comes not within fight of Senfe. But however, the
Lady admired the Diſcovery, and became fo exceffive
proud upon the Compliment, that her Violet Hair ren-
dred her more ridiculous, than none at all. For by a
Vanity fo ill-grounded, and fo unreaſonable, ſhe gave
the World a Demonftration her Scull was as bare with-
in as without, and that her Brains did not out-weigh
her Locks one Grain. But tho' a Lady fhould be gra-
ced with the Hair of Aurora, with the Eyes of Venus,
the
1
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
151
the Majefty of Juno, and the Feet of Thetis, (to ſpeak
in the Poetick Jargon) alas! what is all this but Vanity
and Impoſture, but Mire glaz'd over with Snow, but an
Idol of Fools, or a Flower that opens and fades, that
exhales Perfumes and Stench the fame Day? What Lan-
guage can reach the Extravagance of thofe who rate
themſelves upon fo inconfiderable Advantages? They
are diftemper'd beyond all Lunacy of the Mad-houſe,
and ſhould be tied up to Diet, and confin'd to Darkneſs
and Diſcipline.
But to take down thefe Ladies Stomachs, and to bring
their foaring Thoughts a Point lower. I would defire 'em
to take a Turn in the Church-yard, and to try whether
they can diſtinguiſh the Soul of a Princeſs from that of a
Kitchen-wench; whether the Afhes of Dives are better
qualified than thoſe of Lazarus; or the Bones of Cæſar's
are made of more noble Ingredients than thoſe of Pea-
fants or (left fuch a melancholy Sight fhould work too.
much upon your Complexion, and fright you into Con-
vulfions) fling away a Vifit upon Madam S. fhe was
once the Town Beauty, the Life of Meetings, and the
Lady of May. She rated her felf, not by the Pound, but,
like Diamonds by the Caract, and was fo extravagantly
fond of her little Self, that fhe fancied her Body a Com-
pound of the fifth Element, all Celeſtial, without Drofs
or Matter. But a Confumption has tam'd her Pride,
and fetch'd down her towering Conceit. She is in Ex-
tremity; fhe runs, poor Creature! through a Courfe
of Pain; fhe confumes by Inches, and lofes her Blood by
Drops. She read me, I affure you, a more emphatical
Leffon of Vanity than Solomon, and convinc'd me,
Women muſt be mad to be proud. This Death-bed
Figure is certainly an humbling, tho' a moft inftructive
Sight, and would Curiofity lead Ladies fometimes with-
in Proſpect of fuch Scenes, I conceive, the Price of Fe-
male Perfections might fall. For, in fine, to fet in fo
black a Cloud, to withdraw with Convulfions, to go off
with Deformity, and, like a Candle, to vanish in Stench,
is a mortifying Rebuke to the Dignity of human Nature.
Look therefore upon all the Goods of Fortune and Na-
ture, as the meer Effects of God's Liberality, not of
Merit. That they are only lent, not given; and by
Confequence call rather for Gratitude than Pride.
L 4
1
Keep
152
A SUPPLEMENT to the firft Part
1
Keep your Rank among the great Ones, and difdain
not to ftoop to the Peafant, when Charity commands.
Hate Flattery as a Plague, Hypocrify as Poiſon, and a
baſe Complaifance as meer Apery. Speak ill of no Bo-
dy, praiſe feldom; but never your felf.
Lofe not Sight of your Faults, nor depend upon your
Virtue. This is God's Work, thofe folely your own. En-
deavour to be pious, but never think you are fo. And
tho' you live up to the Height of Chriftian Perfection,
ſuppoſe you are only at the Bottom. We may fin by
efteeming our felves too much, but cannot by valuing
our felves too little. And to put Nature to the Bluſh,
practiſe upon Occafion fome publick Actions of Humili-
ty. For Example; you may feed the Poor with your
Alms, and ferve 'em with your own Hands. Tho' fuch
Acts are low, they are not mean: And they rather enno-
ble Dignity than degrade it. The great Emprefs Helen
appear'd taller on her Knees, when the wafh'd the Feet
of poor Women, than when fhe fat in her Throne
more glorious when the wiped them with a Towel, than
when the rode in a triumphant Chariot; and more great
when the ferved at Table the devout Virgins at Jerufalem,
than when the commanded in Rome or Conftantinople.
Why may not Ladies alfo fometimes favour an Hofpital
with a Vifit, as well as the Play-houfe? An Hour would
be better ſpent in this Theatre of Mifery, than in that
of Diverfion. Here you learn Humility, and practife it;
and although you leave an Alms behind, you carry away
the Merit. At Paris I have ſeen the topping Ladies of
the Court, in l'Hotel Dieu, help and comfort the Sick
with great Charity. They refresh'd thofe poor Creatures
not only with Words, but with Cordials and Juleps. I
could with the Mode would fail into England. It edifies
I am fure, and would become Quality, and fit as genteel-
ly on Ladies, as French Fontanges. For, in fine, a Chri-
ftian Submiffion is the Top of Gallantry, and gives a
greater Luftre than Equipage or Efcutcheon. To ſtand
above the Vulgar in Rank, and below 'em in Affection,
to be eſteem'd by others, and contemn'd by our felves,
is to abandon the Sentiments of Nature, for the moſt re-
fined Morals of the Gofpel.
.
VI. Aş
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
153
VI.
As Humility regulates the Interior, fo Modefty difci-
plines the Exterior. This is the Index that marks the
Motion of our Soul: It diſcovers the Situation of our
Paffions, and tells us whether they obey the Empire of
Senfe, or of Reafon. For Providence feems to have de-
figned the Face not only for Ornament, but for Infor-
mation. Nay, the Soul flies into our Behaviour, and
we can read its Inclination and Difguft as legibly in
our Actions, as Phyficians the State of the Body by the
beating of the Pulfe.
Thus Gregory of Nazianzen faw the Disorders of Ju-
lian's Soul in the Irregularity of his Carriage, and pro-
nounced him a Runagade before he had apoftatiz'd from
Chriſtianity.
I ſhall not confider Modefty in Oppofition to Wanton-
nefs: This would lead me too far; but as it's defined by
Zeno the Science of decent Motion, i. e. as it poliſhes the
Exterior; and cut off all thofe Exorbitances that render
our Converfation offenfive, or lefs chriftian. I know in-
deed St. Paul commends it in this Acceptation to all; but
tho' it reaches the Mafculine part of our Species, it con-
cerns more properly the Feminine. And it's no more e-
ſteem'd a bare Ornament, but a Propriety of the Sex. So
that a Woman difcarded of Modefty, ought to be gaz'd
upon as a Monſter. Let her be fet off with all the other
Embelliſhments of Art and Nature, fo long as Boldneſs is
read in her Face, this Vice alone will eclipfe her other
Perfections, and like a Cloud over-caft all the glittering
Beams of Beauty, Wit, and Dignity.
Nor indeed is it any Wonder that Modefty is ſo much
the Right and Intereft of the Sex. For this is the Argus
that guards their Treaſure againſt all the Attacks of Sur-
prife or Impudence. When Brennus with his victorious.
Army enter'd Rome, the Gravity and Majefty of the Se-
nators aw'd the licentious Soldiers into fuch a Refpect
and Reverence, that not one, for a long time, durft ap-
proach 'em. And I believe a Lady well stock'd with
Modefty, may look upon the looſe Defires, and keep at a
Distance the Attempts of the moſt impudent Affailant.
For certainly true Virtue has more Authority than Affec-
tation, and a Chriftian Reſervednefs, than a Stoical Se-
verity. When a Town is well provided within, and
ſtrongly
154 A SUPPLEMENT to the firft Part
ſtrongly fenced_with Out-works, a victorious General
has feldom the Courage to attempt the Siege. The Ex-
pence, the length of Time, the Loffes, and in fine, the
Uncertainty of Succeſs, fcare him from the Enterprize;
fo that he wheels off to the lefs fortify'd, as of more eafy
Conqueft. Our Gallants ſeem to follow the fame Me-
thod; they are fo far from tempting a modeft Woman,
that they can ſcarce dare look her in the Face ; her
Countenance and Air rather fright Paffion than excite it.
They conjure down impure Love, and raiſe Reſpect and
Efteem. In fine, fhe is fo encompaffed with Modeſty,
there is no making an Approach, and by confequence no
Profpect of Succefs; and this Difficulty cools the moſt
fiery Luft, and difcourages the moſt violent Senfuality.
No Body but Afmodaus himſelf will attempt to violate
fuch a Sanctuary.
But when they efpy a Lady without Refervedneſs;
who is endued with many attractive Qualities, and has
nothing that awes, no Out-works that guard her Virtue,
they are tempted to ftorm her Conftancy; and if the
lends a patient Ear to the Encomiums of her Wit and
Beauty, if ſhe ſtays to receive the Attack, fhe is in Dan-
ger of being at Diſcretion. For, in fhort, this Remiffneſs
is a kind of Capitulation; it's a Mark the Defendant is
prefs'd, and then follows a Surrender: So that the Ne-
ceffity of this Virtue ought to awake the Care of Ladies,
and quicken their Endeavours to purchaſe it.
Now if you ask me what it is, I have anſwer'd with
Zeno, it's The Science of decent Motion, i. e. it's a Mix-
ture of Gravity and Sweetneſs, that ftamp Piety on the
Behaviour, and make the divine Tranſports of the Soul
fparkle in the very Eyes; it reaches every Part of the
Exteriour, and guides our whole Comportment Abroad
and at Home, in our Clofet, and in Converſation; in
fine, it plants Virtue upon the Forehead, and draws De-
corum upon the Exteriour.
But by Gravity, I underſtand not a morofe Sournefs,
nor a ſtarch'd Behaviour. The firſt marks ill Nature,
the fecond Pride and Affectation. I would neither counſel
Ladies to make wry Faces, as if they were taking a Doſe
of Coloquintida, nor walk as if, like Bartholomew Pop-
pets, they mov'd by Wire. This is not Modeſty, but
downright Grimace, and has more of the Mimick than
Virtue.
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
155
Virtue. The one frights, the other raiſes Laughter. Keep
within a Mean; Extreams are vicious; extraordinary
Geſtures are as unbecoming, as antiquated Dreffes.
But be fure to take care of the Tongue.
This is an
infolent Member, and needs all the Precepts and Inftruc-
tions of Modefty, to be kept within the Compafs of De-
cency.
Pretend not in Company to Wit; you will certainly
betray your Judgment. Women feldom appear more
fooliſh, than when they afpire to the Glory of being
thought wife. Good God! how was I plagu'd t'other
Day with the Impertinences of Madam H. fhe comment-
ed upon Ariftotle, and lectur'd us upon the Summe of
Thomas Aquinas. She fcorn'd the Female Topick of
Modes and Dreffes, and was for dancing on the high Ropes
of Phyficks and Divinity. We were firft regal'd with Ma-
teria Prima; then came up a Diſh of Occult Qualities;
and at laſt a whole Plate of Theological Terms were
flung among the Company. It was as impoffible to ſtop
her in this learned Career, as a Ship under full Sail, and
you might have fooner filenc'd a Hurricane, than have fet-
ter'd her Ladyfhip's Tongue. The Sex admir'd her Wif-
dom, and the Men fmil'd at her Folly. She has made
a Proviſion of School Jargon, and laid it out with much
Prodigality, and more Affurance. But all her Knowledge
ftuck on the Superficies of Words, fhe enter'd not into
the Senfe. So that the Fame of her Parts fhrunk under
Experience, and this Phoenix of Women prov'd only a
well taught Parrot.
Beware of too great Talkativenefs, a Fault incident.
to the Sex, and extreamly offenfive in Converfation. It
favours of Boldness, and is a great Intrenchment upon
the Liberty of Company. She who monopolizes the Dif
courfe, filences the reft, and affumes the Quality of Mi-
ftrefs; and fo keeps School, without Licence, in plain
Contradiction to our Statute Book: Nay, and what is
more, a Pythagorean School, in which other Ladies, like
Pupils, undergo the Penance of Silence, whilft fhe enjoys
the Satisfaction of Speaking. This is, I think, a little
impofing, and fhe who offers her Company upon fo hard
Conditions, deferves to lead the Life of a Reclufe; for
few Ladies will go to the Price of the Purchaſe. Free-
dom of Speech is as undoubted a Prerogative of a Female
Meeting, as of the Houfe of Commons.
In
156
A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
In Converſation you muſt ſuppoſe all are not of the
fame Opinion; bear therefore a Contradiction with Calm-
neſs and Moderation; and be not too kind to your own
Errors. Infallibility is neither an Appendix of Nature,
nor of Grace: Women may fall into thofe Miſtakes by
Surprize or Ignorance, without any Abatement of their
Parts, they cannot vindicate without Difhonour. So that
it's more prudent, as well as more modeft, to confeſs a
Fault, than to defend it with Eagerneſs and Paffion. O-
ver-rate not therefore your own Sufficiency, for tho' fome
Diamonds are ſaid to be above Price, Merits are not.
Fancy not your Underſtanding moves in a higher Region
than other Peoples; or that you must neceffarily be wifer,
becauſe more beautiful or noble. Believe me, Madam,
thefe Qualities are not the true Standard of Know-
ledge: A fair Frontispiece is no infallible Sign of well-
furniſh'd Rooms. The Infide may be poor, tho' the Out-
fide be rich: And I fuppofe the Walls are not ftronger
for being ancient.
Little Love-Intrigues oftentimes are the Subject of Wo-
mens Difcourfe; and generally People are paired by my
Lady before they are join'd by the Parfon. It's a great
Breach of Modefty almoft to know fuch things, and
Boldness to throw 'em into Converfation. For the Laws
of Decorum are fo fevere in regard of Women, that it's
almoſt a Fault to pronounce the Word Love. They can
fcarce diſcover a Diflike of an ill thing without Blemish,
nor even bluſh without difobliging their Modefty. For,
in fine, thofe Difcourfes argue a vicious Inclination, or a
Memory ill furnish'd, or Curiofity mifapplied; or rather
all three. For certainly, without Pains, it's hard to glean
fo great a Proviſion of Amouretts; and without fome In-
clination, as hard to run fuch Lengths in the History of
Intrigues.
In a Word, let Modefty not only chufe the Subject of
your Converfation, and regulate the Management of it,
but tune the Voice, and order the Accent. The Tongue
muſt not break out into Noife and Tumult; like the
Platonick Harmony of the moving Spheres; it should
charm, but not be perceiv'd at a Distance. Would La-
dies make the Purchaſe of thofe Virtues their Bufinefs as
they are their real Concern, they would bid fair for that
Perfection, their Profeffion, Sex, and Station require.
There
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
157
There are others indeed neceffary, but becauſe they reach
the whole Species, and concern Men no leſs than Wo-
men, I ſhall refer you to the Catechiſm for Inſtruction.
Befides, too many Precepts rather fright than inftruct,
and are more apt to caft us into Deſpair, than to raiſe a
Refolution of obferving 'em.
Emil. I thank you for your Charity, Sir, and with my
ſelf ſo happy as to comply with your Inſtruction: But
they ſeem too vague; favour me therefore with a Sum-
mary of thoſe Actions I muſt perform each Day. Draw
up a Scheme, and fet me a Journal.
Eufeb. Alas! Madam, you may as well ask me to cut
out a Manteau for the Moon. Circumftances vary, and
cannot be brought to the fame Rule. However, I will
lay a Plan before you, and hope your Prudence will fit
it to your Occafions.
DIALOGUE VI.
A Regulation of their daily Actions.
I.
A Neffeminate Sabarite thank'd the Gods that he had
never ſeen the Sun rife in his Life. I would not
have Ladies imitate this Pagan Copy, much leſs, muſt
they value themfelves upon fo fuperlative. a Lazineſs.
Live not as if you were our Antipodes. Curiofity is fup-
pos'd to bear a great Sway over Female Inclinations. Let
it therefore lead you to this great Planet's Levee at
leaft in December and January. I affure you, Madam,
it rifes with more Majefty than the greateft Monarch;
and this Morning Scene out-fhines the Glow-worm
Pageantry of the Play-houſe. It gilds the Heaven with
its dazling Beams. It turns every Drop of Dew into
fparkling Diamonds, and commands Nature to change
her Nightrail into Cloth of Gold and Embroidery. Be-
fides, it wakes almoft every Part of the drowſy Creation.
Birds and Beafts begin Mattins, and proclaim the Glory
of their omnipotent Maker. Why fhould Man be lefs ac-
knowledging than Beaft? Or Inftinct work more forci-
bly than Reafon?
II So
158 A SUPPLEMENT to the firft Part
II.
So foon as you are up, fall upon your Knees, and a-
dore that mighty Being that made you. His Greatnefs
calls for Homage, and your Dependance ftands oblig'd
for the Payment. Offer up every Action of the Day to
his Glory; fuch an Intention fanctifies the meaneft, and
ftamps a new Value upon the moft holy. Ask Pardon
for paft Offences, and rather refolve to die, than to tranf-
grefs God's Commands for the future. Sue for the Sup-
port of his Grace; without this you are impotent, and
with it invincible.
III.
Reflect what Occafion of Sin may prefent it felf, and
prevent the Danger by Prudence and Forecaft. A Temp-
tation foreſeen is almoſt overcome. But he lies at the
Mercy of an Enemy, who is affaulted by Surprize and
Stratagem. When you difcover an Ambuſcade, keep at
a Diſtance; to tempt Temptation is an unfeaſonable
Bravery. I would as foon roufe a fleeping Lion as come
within its Reach; for, in fine, the Victory is not ſure,
but the Peril is certain.
IV.
Stand not upon meer defenſive War, for tho' you ſtrug-
gle handſomely for a Time, and keep your Ground, you
will at length be over-power'd with Number; if you in-
tend to come off with Conqueft, carry War into the E-
nemy's Dominions. The Advantage for the moſt part
lies on the Affailant's Side. Single out therefore every
Day fome Virtue, and make ſure of it by Practice. The
Duty of a Chriftian is not only to fuffer, but to do; by
refifting the Allurement of Fleſh and Blood you lofe no
Ground; by exercifing Virtue you gain upon the Devil,
and ſo increaſe your Forces, and weaken his.
V.
When you have diſcharged your Duty to God, ſpend
fome time upon the Government of your Family; the
Buſineſs within Doors lies upon your Hands, and is part
of your Province; and you muft not do all by Deputy.
Indeed I would not have you enter upon too minute a
Detail, nor regiſter the Hen-rooft in your Table Book. It's
below your Station to hunt every Day after Hens Nefts
as Madam L. did; or to calculate the Number of Duck-
lings;
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
159
lings; nor fhould you furvey the Hog-fty to mark the
worst of the Litter for the Tithe-Pig; thefe Actions fa-
vour of Meannefs, they argue Avarice to Excefs, and fit
unhandſomely on Quality.
VI.
When you fit at your Toilet, keep Vanity at a Di-
ftance, and remember you trim a Body that once will
fink into Corruption. Look upon your Robes as Badges
of Infamy; and reflect, Ladies had never been fine, had
they remain'd innocent. I know, indeed, as the World
goes, Nobility muſt make a Figure: Quality and Title
without Appearance will never draw Refpect; they re-
quire a Support. The Senfes of the Mob muſt be ſtruck,
and their Imagination affected; for they feldom dive be-
yond the Surface, and meaſure Quality by gaudy Trap-
pings and Equipage. However, tho' you uſe theſe Toys,
your Affection muſt foar above 'em, and you muſt never
eſteem the worft Parts of Beaſts to be the greateſt Per-
fection of your Sex.
The brave Esther was raiſed from Subjection to Com-
mand, and from Servitude to the Throne. She walk'd
on Silks, and ſpit in Silver: Nature had made her a com-
pleat Beauty, and Providence a mighty Empreſs; and
yet fhe proteſted in the Sight of God, that her Greatnefs
was a Burthen, and her Finery a Torment. Thou know-
eft, my God, faid fhe, that meer Neceffity obliges me
to live in Pomp and Glory, not Choice; and that I ſcorn
this glittering Diadem, the Envy of a thouſand Ladies,
and the Defire of more. I wear it with Regret, and on-
ly when I must appear in Publick, and lay it down when
I retire to my Apartment. The Turn of Fortune has
wrought no Change in me: I am a Slave on the Throne,
a poor Caitiff in Embroidery, and a Beggar in the Face
of Plenty. Tho' I poffefs the Scepter, together with the
Wealth of Afia, I enjoy nothing but the Satisfaction of
proftrating my ſelf, and my Grandeur at the Foot of thy
Altars. For, in fine, the Contempt of my Greatnefs flies
higher than my Fortune, and the Excefs of Pleaſures is
the Object of my Averfion. Here is a feraphick Tranf-
port for ye! it's all Light, all Fire. A Heart that can
thus fcorn an Empire is larger than the World, and more
capacious than the Empyreum. She was a Queen with-
out, all Angel, and all Seraphin within. Did Ladies
bring
160 A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
bring fuch noble Sentiments to the Toilet, they would
charm Heaven; and whilft Men admire their Bravery,
the very Angels would fall in Love with their Virtue:
for then they would meafure the Gaudry of their Man-
teaus precifely by the Length of Quality, not by the Ex-
tent of Pride or Vanity; they would keep up to the Exi-
gency of their Rank, without deviating from the Duty
of their Religion.
VII.
After Dinner you may employ fome time at your Nee-
dle, or other Works fuitable to your Condition. Augu-
fus Cæfar thought not fuch Occupations below the Dig-
nity of his Wife and Daughters: Yet he was a great
Man, and thofe Ladies mighty Princeffes: And I fuppoſe
our Lords would not diſpute the Wall with him, nor the
Wives the Precedence with his Children. The Romans
kept the Diſtaff of Queen Tanaquil with more Care, than
the Lance of Romulus, to teach Pofterity, that it was no
lefs neceflary for the Good of the State, to propofe to La-
dies Examples of Labour, than to Men Patterns of Bravery.
And Solomon in the Character he has drawn of a Heroine,
flouriſhes upon her Oeconomy and Labour. She puts, fays
he, her Hands to work, and then open'd'em to the Necef
fities of the Indigent; ſhe ſpun both Linen and Woollen
Yet he is not reprefented as a Country Dame, but as a
Peereſs: For her Husband fat cum Senatoribus terræ, i. e.
in the House of Lords, or at leaſt of Commons. Wheels
indeed are at prefent more out of Faſhion, and Ladies
will no more ſpin, than make Bone-Lace. Seeing Cu-
ftom has degraded the Employment, I will not counfel
you to re-inftate it in its priftine Dignity. But however,
Needle work is reputable, and the, moft qualified Ladies
may embroider without defcending from their Station.
Believe me, Madam, Idlenefs is an ill Employment; and
fhe who has nothing to do, will be tempted to do more
than will ſtand with Confcience, and perchance with Ho-
nour. For when we have no good Thoughts, we are
generally pefter'a with bad ones; and when ill is in our
Fancy, it flides with eafe into the Will.
VIII.
You may ſeaſon Work with Reading, for though Wo-
men fhould not pretend to commence Doctors, yet I
would not have 'em forfwear Knowledge, nor make a Vow
of
of the GENTLEMAN Inſtructed.
161
of Stupidity, God has favour'd you with a reaſonable Soul,
enrich'd it with the Science of thofe Things, that give Life
to a civil Converſation, and inſtruct you in the Duty of
your Profeffion. For your Court Affurance, your Ad-
dreffes, in the Modes, and Geftures of Salutation, your
graceful Entrance into a Room, and all the other pretty
Accompliſhments of the Sex, are dead, unlefs enlivened
by a handſome Difcourfe. Is it a mute Scene, a Bartho-
lomew Puppet-fhew, that furprizes fome, and furniſhes
Matter of Laughter to others? Is it not ridiculous to fee
a Lady with a great deal of Formality drive to a Ren-
dezvous, and at the End of a fhort Complement fall im-
mediately upon Fontanges and Foretops? So much Pomp,
fo much Ceremony, out-do the Occafion; the Enter-
tainment is too trivial for the Solemnity. Thofe that will
not learn to ſpeak a propos, fhould learn methinks to hold
their Peace; for it's much better to ſpeak nothing, than
to bolt out Follies.
Indeed, it's not neceflary to rival the Knowledge of
the Sybils, nor the Science of the Muſes; ſhe ſhould not
wade too deep into Controverfy, nor foar fo high as Di-
vinity. Theſe Studies lie out of a Lady's Way: They
fly up to the Head, and not only intoxicate weak Brains,
but turn them: They engender Pride, and blow us up
with Self-conceitednefs, and when all theſe meet, we fhall
be apt to meaſure Faith by our private Judgment, and to
fet up our ill-fhap'd Notions against the receiv'd Tenets
of our Religion.
Read therefore thofe Books that lead to Piety: They
enlighten the Underſtanding, and warm the Will; they
lay open the Caufe of our Mifcarriages, and at the fame
Time prefcribe the Remedy. They neither flatter Quali-
ty, nor infult Peafantry, but like Pictures made to Sight,
they look equally upon all: In fine, they refresh the Me-
mory, enlarge the Underſtanding, and inflame the Will,
and fo, thro' Pleaſure, inftil both Wiſdom and Virtue..
IX.
You may afterwards either return Vifits, or receive
them; but perform both with as much Expedition as Ci-
vility and Ceremony will permit. Long Converfations.
flag, they languifh at an Hour's End, and fall into meer
Chat or Impertinencies. For Women have feldom Mate-
rials to furniſh a long Difcourfe, unless they comment
upon
M
162 A SUPPLEMENT to the firft Part
upon their Neighbour's Failures, and turn their Misfor
tune into the Subject of Diverfion. Now to laugh at a-
nother's Expence, is not only difingenuous, but unchrifti-
an. Kather take a Turn fometimes to the Play-houſe; but
be fure firſt the Picce be cleanly, clear complexion'd,
neither larded with Smut nor Blafphemy; that it neither
arraigns Virtue, nor buffoons Religion; that it has no-
thing offenfive to the Eye, nothing to the Ear. In fine,
that it be either inftructive or innocent. For if it makes
bold with God, or lafhes his Minifters; if it encourages
Vice, and hoots at Virtue, you muſt no more appear
there, than in a Peft-houſe. Diverfions, bought at the
Expence of Confcience, are too dearly purchas'd.
X.
Before you go to Bed, withdraw into your Cloſet, and
take an impartial View of your Confcience: If it up-
braids you with no crying Sin, give Glory to God, and
with bended Knees, and an humble Heart, thank him for
the Favour. For not your Virtue, but his Grace, has
kept you upon your Legs, and either remov'd or van-
quifh'd the Temptation. But if you have ftray'd from
your Duty, fue for Pardon; and lay not your Body to
Reſt, till you have obtain❜d Quiet for your Soul. When
the Confcience is diforder'd, Sleep can fcarce be found;
a wounded Soul keeps the Body awake in Spight of 0-
pium. And though it does not, you fhall no more ſhut
your Eyes in a State of Sin, than fleep on the Brink of a
Precipice. For alas! How many does Death affail in
their Beds, at unawares? And what is worfe, unprovi-
ded? Poor Creatures! They awake in Hell, and only re-
cover their Senſes to feel the Extremity of Torments.
But when, by a hearty Repentance, you have calm'd Con-
ſcience, you may fleep fecurely. Though Death ſteal
upon you by Surprize, it will not find you unprepar'd;
it can only 'convey you from a tranfitory Repofe into
eternal Reft. Here is a fhort Journal of a Chriſtian
Life, and methinks it may eaſily be brought to Practice.
A Lady, that can't fuffer fo fmall a Conftraint, muſt be
ſtrangely fond of Liberty.
Emil. Well, the Scheme feems practicable, and if no-
thing elſe be requir'd to live like a Lady, and a Chriftian,
Virtue encroaches not fo much upon Freedom as I imagi-
ned. Pray, Sir, go on, to oblige me with a fhort Comment
upon the Duty of a Mother.
DIA-
£
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
163
Eufeb.THI
DIALOGUE VII.
The Duty of a Mother.
і
HIS Command, Honour thy Father and thy
Mother, is reciprocal, and not only obliges
Children to reípect and revere their Parents, but alſo en-
joins Parents to love their Children; and this Obligation
comes not only from the Decalogue, but immediately
from Nature. Nor does fhe diſcharge the Duty of a Mo-
ther, who fawns on, and careffes her Off-ſpring; who
pampers their Bodies, and wraps them up in Silk and Cot-
ton. No, no, her Care must reach their moſt fublime
Part, the Soul. This muft be cultivated and manur'd with
Principles and Precepts, that it may anſwer the great End
of its Creation. Now, becaufe the Males, fo foon as they
are capable of Inftruction, are taken from the Mother, I
ſhall only touch upon the Education that fits the Females.
I.
Teach them betimes the End of their Creation, their
Duty towards God, and the Obligations of Religion. Ex-
plain the Creed, and the Decalogue; the firft inftructs 'em
in Faith, the ſecond in Manners; and omit not the Pains
of the Wicked, and the Joys of the Juft: The one will
fright from Sin, the other will allure 'em to Virtue; nor
fuffer 'em only to rest in the Knowledge, but inure them
to the Practice, by all the little Arguments of Kindness
and Authority; and fecure the Obfervance by the Tenures
of Love and Obedience. Seldom apply Severity till mild
Methods prove ineffectual: For Children must not be
taught Piety (like Dogs to fet) with Stripes and ill Ufage:
They never do a Thing heartily, when compell'd by
Force, and oftentimes hate thofe Exerciſes at Thirty,
for which they were chaſtiſed at Ten. Some Years ago, I
fell into the Company of my Lady N. She ply'd me
with fuch a long-winded Panegyrick of her little Daugh-
ter, that I began to with the Child lefs accompliſh'd, or
the Mother lefs fond: She was Beauty in Life, and Wit
in Perfection. Nay, and fo skilful in the Ways of the
Lord, that I fufpected fhe had made at least two Voyages
to Heaven, or had hit upon an Invention to travel to Pa-
radife by Scale and Compafs.
M 2
Well,
164 A SUPPLEMENT to the firft Part
Well, Madam, faid 1, fuch a Wit, fuch a Divine In-
fant, I prefume, knows the Catechiſm.
The Catechifm! replied fhe, I hope fo: And the firft
Chapter of Genefis alio. And then immediately was I
regal'd with a Scene of Queſtion and Anſwer. Moth. Who
was the first Man? Ch. Adam. Moth. Who was the old-
eft Man? Ch. Methujalem. Moth. Who was the wiſeſt
Man? Ch. Solomon. Nay, cries Mamma, fhe can tell
you the Wives of Abraham, Ifaac, and Jacob.
You have led her, I fuppofe, faid I, to Jofeph-Ben-
Ifrael the Jewish Herald, and intend to enter her in the
Synagogue. Is this all!
All! anfwered the Lady, and a great all too. Nay, re-
plied I, it's nothing at all to the Purpoſe: Indeed ſhe has
learnt the Nurfe's Catechifm, but not the Church's. Why?
The Jews know this, and believe it too, and yet are not
Chriftians. Come, Madam, leave thefe odd Methods of
Inſtruction, and come up to the Grounds of Chriſtianity.
Plant the Principles of Faith and Godliness fo deep, that
neither the Impulfe of Fleſh can ſhake them, nor the bat-
tering Engines of the Devil move them. A Bead-roll of
cramp Names may poliſh and refine the Memory, but
what is this to the capital Point, Salvation?
II.
Inſtruction, unleſs arm'd with Example, will prove in-
fignificant. Young Creatures fooner yield to that, than
Rhetorick, and give more Credit to the Eyes than to Rea-
fon If therefore the Mother's Conduct preaches Vice,
tho' her Mouth dilates upon the Neceffity of Virtue, the
Child will fuppofe her in Jeft, and rather fteer by her
Practice, than her Precept. Wo be to thofe Mothers,
who make Daughters Witneffes of their Diſorders, and
thus immortalize their Tranfgreffions by recommending
them to their Defcendants.
III.
Let not Romances come within Reach of a young La-
dy: They are the Poiſon of Youth, and murther Souls,
as fure as Arfenick or Ratsbane kills Bodies. Their Style,
Matter, Language, and Deſign, are pointed againſt the
Defence of Virtue. They fully the Fancy, over-heat
Paſſion, and awake Folly; and like lewd Pictures, are the
worſe for being excellent. They kindle thofe Flames
that cannot be extinguiſhed without Trouble, nor enter-
*
tain'd
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
165
tain'd without a Crime. Nay, like the Fire of Hell, they
are almoſt eternal, and what is worfe, the very Torment
pleaſes: And fo, as Nero did Rome, we behold our felves
in Flames, with Pleafure and Tranfport. In a Word,
Madam, a Romance is a bewitching Impofture, it fafci-
nates the Imagination with a Fool's Paradife; it commu-
nicates the Charms to the Intellect, and then hurries the
Will God knows whither. Like fweet Morfels, it fawns
upon the Palate to captivate the Heart, and plays with
the Organ to cut our Throats: In fine, they give the
Paffion they repreſent, and fo, by an unhappy Inverfion,
the very Copy produces an Original.
Alas! when a young Creature reads over flouriſh'd De-
ſcriptions of enchanted Caftles, of glorious Carouſels, of
fumptuous Banquets, of conquering Beauties, and cap-
tive Knights; what a fine Landskip will they draw in
her Head? How powerfully will they work upon her
tender Heart? What a Tumult will they raiſe in her
Breaft? Thofe Scenes, tho' meerly romantick, follicit in
good earneft; they reinforce Paffion, and are mighty Re-
cruits to Folly; they fet the Sex into a Fit of Longing:
(for tho' Women were made of Bone, they retain all the
Pliableness of Flefh.) How often will fhe envy a Philoclea
for having a Pyrocles at her Feet, and how feriouſly will
ſhe wiſh herſelf in the Place of Pamelia. Nay, it's odds,
when the Fancy is warm'd, and the Imagination charm'd
with the advantageous Characters of thoſe Platonick
Knights, fhe may fall in Love with the bare Product of
Sidney's Brain, and become a real Slave to Fable and Ficti-
on.
Or tho' fhe arrives not to fuch a Pitch of Frenzy,
it's very probable fhe will attempt fome Conqueft, and
ſpread Nets to enfnare a Gallant, that will as fatally en-
tangle her. Nor can fhe fail of Expedients to delude her
Guards: The Author that kindles the Paffion, fhews the
Way to carry on the Intrigue, he provides her the Me-
thods and Stratagem, and warrants Succefs, and ſo a Fa-
ble is turn'd into a real Story: But with this Difference,
that inſtead of a Prince, Madamoiselle goes off with a
Valet de Chambre.
IV.
Lead 'em not into Company, till a ftrong Virtue arms
'em againſt the Danger of Temptation, their Senſes muſt
be guarded, and ill Objects be kept at a great Diſtance.
M 3
Flefh
166
A SUPPLEMENT to the firft Part
Fleſh and Blood have a natural Tendency to Extrava-
gance, and will ſcarce ftand unconcern'd under the Al-
lurements of Example and Invitation. It's dangerous,
fays St. Justin, for a Man to admire the very Virtues of
a Woman; and, I believe, it's not more ſecure for a
Woman to ſtand the Flattery and Courtship of Men.
Now when both Sexes meet, Gallantry always manages
the Converſation. Would you thruſt a Child into a Peft-
Houfe without Neceffity, and without an Amuletto?
Why then will you lead her to confus'd Meetings? In
thofe Rendezvous, as well as at Conftantinople, fome
Body always carries the Plague-Sores, and gives the In-
fection.
Emil. You are, I perceive, an Enemy to Breeding,
will you have Ladies as unpolifh'd as Shepherdeffes?
Where can they learn Behaviour but in Converſation and
Company?
Eufeb. Madam, you miſtake me, I am not againſt
Breeding, but I am for Virtue. And, I must tell you,
this will turn to better Account than that: For by Breed-
ing, I fuppofe, you mean a Gracefulneſs of Conver-
fation, a decent Affurance, together with fome pretty
Poſtures alamode. Thefe Qualifications, I confefs, are
commendable, becauſe they introduce us into Company
with Advantage; but then they muſt not be magnified
beyond Proportion. I would not have Mothers fo fan-
taftically fond of them, as to place 'em among the top
Perfections of the Sex; nor to expofe a Child's Inno-
cence for a Brace of Grimaces, For, in fine, they are
eafily gained, and Ladies, by the Affiftance of Virtue,
may be acceptable without them. And I am apt to be-
lieve that a native Beauty, without theſe acquired Em-
belliſhments, if it be waited on by Modefty, Meekneſs,
and Devotion, will fooner find a Match, than Beauty
without Piety, though fet off with the moft ornamental
Graces of Education. But why muft fhe converſe with
Men for Education? Would you have her paſs through a
Courſe of Debauchery? Or do you think he cannot be
genteel, unlefs fhe be tainted? Would you have her blaf-
pheme like a Sea Captain, or curfe like a Drayman? I
grant, fhe may learn this helliſh Dialect of Men, and
be courted out of all Senfe of Honour and Probi-
ty. But thefe, I fuppofc, are no Female Qualifications,
may
and
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
167
and therefore, till they receive the Stamp of publick Ap-
probation, pray let tender Virgins forbear fuch dangerous
Haunts.
Luc. Under Favour, this Caution goes too far, you
will bar English Ladies the Liberty of the Church, as
the Turks do the Afiaticks that of the Mofques; for there
is a mixt Conflux, and I have feen as fine Gentlemen at
the Sermon, as at a Ball.
Eufeb. Really, Madam, I am fo far from debarring
Ladies the Freedom of the Church, that I counfel 'em to
appear oftner there. But then I am for introducing a
Jewish Cuſtom, i. e. for ſeparating the Women from the
Men, and for drawing a Curtain between 'em. Thoughts,
I am fure, would be more recollected, and Piety would
go on more evenly. But as things are carried, theſe ve-
ry Meetings are not fecure, and Virtue is expos'd to
Temptations. Bad Defigns are often laid in this Sanctua-
ry, and the Intrigue is compleated in more lewd Places.
For in Truth, People appear before the Lord, not in Sack-
cloth, but in Gold and Silver; and one would think they
came rather to commit new Sins, than to cancel the paſt.
The Ladies fit on Cock-horſe upon Scaffolds in open View,
as if they were at the Theatre, and perch about the
Crowd to be gaz'd at. And as they are feated advan-
tageouſly to be ſeen, fo their Elevation gives them a fair
Opportunity to fee; and thus the Danger is reciprocal.
Notwithſtanding it's a Chriftian's Duty to go to Church,
and this is his Warrant; and if we take a little Care, God
will not let us mifcarry for Obedience. Befides, though
People bring ill Defigns, the Majefty of the Place, the
Solemnity of the Action, or at leaſt the Zeal of the
Preacher may ftifle 'em, and keep in Awe and Refpect
the moſt wild Nature, and fo they who came Sinners,
may return Penitent.
But this concerns not thofe Meetings where both Sexes.
convene to dance and fport. Neither carry Modeſty or
Reſtraint to thofe Rendezvous! Thefe Virtues are too
fupercilious and cenforious for the Occafion; Seriouf-
nefs and Thinking are left at home, or diſmiſt at the
Door, and Piety never obtains a Ticket, fo that People
come here unguarded, and Virtue without Defence:
Beſides, the Parade, the Gaudry, and Gaiety of the Com-
pany follicit hard, and plead for Diforder. The one be-
M 4
witches
168
A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
witches the Eye, the other the Heart: And then Mirth
emboldens Paffion, and invites it to Action. Soft Mufick
doubles the Charm, and wanton Airs reinforce it. They
difarm Caution, and enervate Courage; and then, when
the Collation has boil'd up the Blood, and put the Hu-
mours in a Ferment, without Doubt, Virtue is in Dan-
ger; the Ground is flippery, the Tide runs high againſt
Fleſh and Blood, and will certainly carry down a tender
Virgin, with a young Virtue, into Indecencies.
Emil. You are, I perceive, for clapping up Ladies into
Convents like Veftals; or at leaft for confining them to
back Apartments, as in Spain and Italy. But Solitude
will not agree with our Complexion; we are of a more
fociable Temper: And befides, I am of an Opinion, that
Reſtraint is no fure Guard to Virtue. A Woman of
Piety will keep up to the Duties of Religion in Company,
but Retirement will ſcarce fecure the Honour of a Pro-
ſtitute. The Italians and Spaniſh Donna's are not more
regular than our's; tho' there is much Caution in thoſe
Kingdoms, there is more Miſcarriage: Nay, I have read
in Lery, that the Brafilian Ladies, where Manteaus are
out of Faſhion, live within the Bounds of Honour and
Decency.
Eufeb. God forbid I ſhould think of cloyftering up La-
dies; thofe Retreats are fafhionable indeed beyond Seas,
but they are heterodox and illegal in England. They
have been voted down by both Houſes as uſeleſs and ſu-
perſtitious, and who dares oppoſe his fingle Opinion_a-
gainst the joint Judgment of thoſe grave Senators? Li-
berty is the darling Privilege of Englishmen,and the Fond-
nefs reaches the Sex. Keep it in God's Name, but ftrain
not the Prerogative, for Liberty in its full Latitude, is a
greater Nufance than Slavery; and to be at Freedom to
do any thing, is no lefs prejudicial to Society and Man-
ners, than a Power to do nothing. Virtue confiſts in a
Mean, Ladies must not be mew'd up like Nuns on the
one Side, nor muft they wander about like Vagabonds
on the other. I would not have 'em kept Priſoners in
their Mother's Houfe, nor yet be Strangers to it. But
then, like Priſoners of State, they fhould not walk abroad.
without a Keeper, and ſhould be debarr'd thofe Haunts
that may furprize their Vigilance, and affail their Virtue.
Madam Dinab would needs give the Ladies of Salem a
Vifit,
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 169
Vifit, fhe had a Curiofity to view their Modes, and to try
their Breeding; but alas! fhe loft her Honour in the
Vo
oyage, and return'd with lefs Credit than fhe went.
I fear our English Damfels meet with the fame Adven-
ture, and buy their Breeding by the Forfeiture of their
Innocence: For alas! we have Sichems as well as Ca-
naan, and young Gentlewomen, perchance, not better
prepar'd for Defen e, than the Daughter of Jacob.
I have no Talent at Parallels, nor am able to deter-
mine whether the Spanish Donna's Virtue falls fhort of
that of our English Ladies. But if they are bad under
Reftraint, Liberty will never mend them. Opportunity
makes the Thief, Temptation preffes harder, near, than
at a Diſtance. It rifes upon Sight, for Senfe is ftronger
than Memory, and Life than Painting. Now thoſe who
rack their Wits to find a Temptation, will ſcarce dif-
pute againſt it, if it falls in their Way; befides, free
Commerce meets more Occafions in a Week, than Itali-
ans, or Spanish, under a Confinement, are able to pro-
cure in a Year.
I can give no Account of the Brafilian Modeſty, nor
intend to argue Pro or Con, whether fine Cloaths, or
none at all, are more dangerous; however, I would not
have young Ladies brought up by the Standard of the
Line. I am not in Love with your Equinoctial Cafui-
ftry; nor admire the Topinbeian Modefty half ſo much
as old Lery. Your Behaviour del Cabo will not reliſh in
Europe, nor your Adamitical Garments fence Virtue in
London. Nothing can check Nature but good Principles,
and great Caution. Nay, Virtue, tho' folid, muſt not be
truſted too far; for if it be prefs'd too Home, 'twill
march off, and give us the Slip.
Wherefore, to conclude, lead not your Daughters unto
Balls, without Neceffity or Civility require their Pre-
fence, and even feldom in thofe Circumftances. Such
Nouriſhment is too ftrong for weak Stomachs, and I
fhall not wonder they lofe their Health, if they feed fo
foul. To guard Chastity without Spot or Stain, is no
eafy Task; it moves upon a fteep Afcent. Now thofe
who talk and laugh can ſcarce ſtrain up a Hill. If Care
and Pains will hardly do, what will become of thoſe
that are rock'd in Pleaſure, and lie under all the Inftructi-
ons of Debauchery? But I forbear to enlarge upon
the
170 A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
the Subject, the Practice won't bear a Defence. When
the Cauſe is naught, we fhould not ſtrain for Pretences
In a Word, it's certain, fuch Converfations are dange-
rous, they rouſe bad Humours, they vitiate the Fancy,
and prepare the Will for Rebellion.
Emil. Too free Converſation is not without fome In-
conveniencies; but then confider that Retirement is not
exempt; for the Fancy will break Incloſure, tho' the Bo-
dy be coop'd up; nay, and bring into the Chamber all
the Species of exterior Objects; and, it's odds, ill Ob-
jects will crowd in with the innocent, and may proba-
bly meet with a kinder Reception; for they glide ſmooth-
ly upon the Senfe, and then a Girl not much employed,
may divert Melancholy with the Proſpect.
Eufeb. You are in the Right, and you prove that the
moſt ſtrict Reclufe is always within the Reach of Dan-
ger, but then ſhe ſtands more out of the Way; and if
the Copy of unlawful Things make fuch a deep Impreffi-
on, the Original would fink deeper.
But first, I have provided againſt Idlenefs, by counſel-
ing you to bring your Daughters up in the Practice of
thofe Works that become their Age and Quality; by inu-
ring them to the Lecture of thofe Books that feed Devo-
tion, and delight without Danger.
Secondly, I only ſpeak againſt the Company of Men;
they may viſit their own Sex, and paſs away the Time in
thoſe Recreations, that neither claſh with Decency, nor
endanger Virtue; and if they grow uneafy upon fo fmall
a Reſtraint, and fall into Fits of Melancholy, you may
conclude, the Caufe of the Diftemper lurks in the Soul,
not in the Body, and that the Heart fhould rather be
purg'd than the Spleen. Indeed, you ſhould not truſt your
Child, without good Caution, even with her own Sex, for
all are not ftaunch. Some are unballaft, and too light,
and if they are infected by Pride or Vanity, if they
languiſh after the fading Pleafures of the World with Pre-
judice to Virtue, they may ſcatter the Contagion both by
Words and Example.
V.
But let not your Care out-run Prudence. Importune
not a Daughter at Fifteen with Precepts and Inftruction,
you may exceed by Severity, as well as by Indulgence;
and by forcing her to be too Good, tempt her to do Evil.
Allow
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
171
Allow fome Grains to Youth, and rather wink at light
Faults, than chaftize 'em. You cannot expect at Twelve
the Maturity of Forty; nor the Stayednefs and Prudence
at Fifteen, as of a Lady of Fifty. Youth is unfurniſh'd
with Reflection, and fometimes acts rather by Impulfe
than Reaſon. Now Time will fooner heal fuch Failings
than Reproof, and Age is a better Doctor for this Di-
ftemper than Expoftulation; for when Correction comes
often, it lofes its Force, it makes no Impreffion, and ſome-
times works the wrong way; i. e. it's received with a
Pet, and perchance with a Raillery too; and thus what
was intended for a Remedy becomes Poifon, and rather
kills than cures. You forfeit your Authority firft, and
then the Daughter withdraws her Reſpect and Kindneſs
to make way for Averfion; and when this unlucky Paf-
fion fteps in, what can be expected but Noiſe and Cla-
mour? And God fend it ends there. Young People are
headftrong, and oft'ner follow the Advice of Refentment
than of Prudence. A young Lady of my Acquaintance,
a great Fortune, and handfomely qualified with all the
Accompliſhments of Art and Nature, flung herſelf away
upon a Man unworthy to be her Page. I expoftulated
the Matter with her, and fhew'd her the Unbefeemingneſs
of the Fact: She eaſily condefcended ſo far, as to confefs
The had done ill, but laid the Fault at her Mother's Door.
She tired my Patience, faid fhe, with imperious Repri-
mands, as if ſhe intended rather to torment than cor-
rect me. I was either too gay, or too referv'd, and no
more able to pleaſe her in Solitude than in Company.
When I pray'd, Bigotry was coming upon me; when I
read, Madness; a Smile was conftituted Lightneſs; a
Frown, ill Nature; fine Cloaths, Vanity; and a common
Drefs, Sluttifhnefs. So, that my Mother play'd either the
Momus, or the Fury. In fine, I hung continually upon the
Rack, and the Torment was too fenfible to be endur'd
with Patience. I found no Way to break my Chains, but
by beating out new ones; and caft my felf away, not to
languiſh in Slavery. I confefs the Speech touch'd me no
lefs than her Misfortune; and if I compaffionated the
Daughter, I detefted the Conduct of the Mother. Take
care, left you puſh Severity too far, and miſtake not Fro-
wardness for Correction. I have feen the moft cowardly
Creatures, when prefs'd, turn upon thofe that chas'd
them,
172 A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
them, and ſometimes vault from a Tower to ſave them-
felves. Great Preflures caufe defperate Attempts, when
they meet with a violent Paffion; and whofoever fuppo-
fes a Senfe of Duty will always over-rule a ſtrong Refent-
ment, is ill acquainted with human Nature. Behave your
felf to your Daughter, not like a Jaylor, but as a Com-
panion: Lay down the Authority of a Miſtreſs, and take
up all the Kindneſs of a Mother. When you have a
Child's Heart, you may mould her into any Shape; but
when you have her Averfion, you may undo her by Re-
proof, but will never mend her.
VI.
When you have brought up a Child in Piety to an Age
of Maturity, nothing remains for the Diſcharge of your
Duty, but a Settlement fuitable to her Education and
Quality. This is a Matter of the higheft Concern, and
therefore requires much Caution, and long Deliberation :
For what can't be undone, muft not be done without
Thought and Reflection. Croſs not the lawful Inclina-
tions of a Child, out of a View of Intereſt, nor tie her
to a Man for whom he has no other Paffion but that of
Averfion. When Marriages are made without Love,
Love often follows without Marriage: And thus you
force her to be miferable, and tempt her to refign her
Virtue and Honour.
Here is a fhort Sum of your Duty, and I could wiſh
you would ſpend fome cool Thoughts upon the Subject,
it's of Importance, and deferves Reflection. What is here
laid down, has nothing hard, nothing of Bigotry; it nei-
ther encroaches upon Quality, nor entrenches upon a de-
cent Freedom; and tho' it did, you muſt remember God
will not give Heaven gratis; it's a Reward, not a free Gift,
and fomething muſt be done to deſerve it. Glory is not
purchas'd without Labour, nor Wealth without Pains,
and yet Death cannot with-hold the Soldier from the Pur-
fuit of the one, nor the Death of Tempeft and Quick-
fands deter the Merchant from the Chafe of the other:
And yet, what are thofe, if compared to the Treaſures.
God has prepared for the godly in Heaven? If then Men
drudge for Things ſo fading and tranfitory, how can you
refuſe to labour for thoſe that are eternal? And if a bare
Hope of Succeſs perfuades Men to run upon certain Pe-
rils, methinks the infallible Promifes of our Saviour de-
ferve
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
173
ferve as great a Compliance. Heaven, Madam, is a brave.
Purchaſe. What a charming State is it, that places us a-
bove Pain, and feats us out of the Reach of Death? That
ſupplies all we can defire, and removes all we can fear?
That puts an End to Wiſhes, and a Beginning to the
Enjoyment of God?
Emil. Sir, I thank you for the Pains you have taken,
and doubt not but God will reward your Charity. I ſhall
return wifer, and, I hope, better. But to compleat the
Favour, be pleas'd to oblige me with your Inftructions in
writing. Memory is treacherous, and we often forget
thofe Things that fhould always be remembred: Befides,
the Benefit is too important to be confined to a private
Perfon. My Difeafe is epidemical, and you will find
few Ladies in Court untainted: Pray let the Remedy be
publick. I will fend it to the Prefs with your Leave, and
preſent it to our Sex, with a Dedication.
Eufeb. You may command me, I will leave the Pa-
pers at your Difpofal, upon Condition you conceal my
Name, for I have no Inclination to new Engagements.
Some may complain the Phyfick is too ſtrong, and then
the Doctor is in Danger to be greeted with the Title of
Ignoramus, or Mountebank. Now fuch a Sentence pro-
nounc'd by one Lady, will certainly prejudice my Prac-
tice, and ruin my Fortune: For a Phyfician's Skill rifes
and falls by the Opinion of Ladies. Emilia and Lucia
after fome Compliments took leave of Eufebius, and
drove home. They were as calm as a Spring Morning,
and of Enemies became Eufebius's Admirers.
DIALOGUE VIII.
Eufebius inftructs Leander in the Duty of a Soldier.
WHEN the Ladies were gone, Eufebius fate down to
Dinner with Neander, and invited him to ſpend
fome Part of the Evening in the Park. We have been,
faid he, with a Smile, upon hard Service this Morning,
I have almoſt talk'd my felf down; let us breathe a little
freſh Air in the Park, and reinforce our Spirits, methinks
mine begin to droop, and call for Relaxation.
Nean.
174
A SUPPLEMENT to the firft Part
Nean. I'll wait upon you. Age and Labour work up-
on the Body; I wonder not your Spirits run low, Dif-
courfe, with Life and Vigour, drains the Arteries: How-
ever, you are not exhauſted, and, I believe, you have
fufficient Fund of Vitals behind, to furniſh another Con-
verfation: Zeal buoys up Nature, and repairs the De-
cays of Age. And now they were taking Coach, when
in comes a Gentleman call'd Leander. This was he who
undertook the Combat againſt Eufebius, and was depu-
ted by the Club of Debauchees to ask Satisfaction. He
was a Man of Quality and Title; he bore a confidera-
ble Command in the Army, and made no contemptible
Figure at Court. He had a Senſe of Religion, but his
Morals anſwered not the Purity of his Faith. However,
his youthful Sallies fprung rather from Frailty than Ma-
lice, and he was carried down the Stream of Senfuality,
rather by the Perfuafion of ill Company, than by the In-
clination of Nature. When he had rioted away his
Innocence, he ftill kept good Principles, and could not
applaud thoſe Crimes he had the Weakneſs to commit.
Nay, his Confcience never permitted him to fin with-
out a Reproach: So, that he was fure to pay dearly in
his Chamber for the Liberties he took in the Tavern.
He always finn'd with a Check, and one might read
Concern in his Forehead, and Guilt in his Face. Eleu-
therius would needs play the Exorcift, and lay the Devil
of Confcience, as he term'd it. Come Leander, faid
he, caft off thefe Qualms, and leave puking, we live by
Meat and Drink, as they fay, and Flesh and Blood will
never thrive upon School Subtieties and Notions. When
thou canst bring all Men to be of one Mind, all Judgments
to meet upon the fame Point, and all Confciences to the
fame Gage, then thou mayft begin to think of Futurities :
But till this be done, lay hold of the prefent, and turn Con-
Science upon the Common; keep it low, and it will leave
wincing. This Flight of Libertinifm grated upon Le-
ander's Hearing, he could not bear the Impiety without
a Bluſh, and tho' he fmother'd the Refentment, his
Concern was no lefs. For Shame always accompanied his
Tranfgreffions, and he could not endure to hear People .
defend one Crime with another, or authorize Tranfgref
fions by ridiculing Religion.
But
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
175
But the laſt Night's Expedition quite turn'd his Sto-
mach; he could by no means difgeſt ſuch a Mefs of Cur-
fes, and thofe Vollies of Blafphemies rung fo diſmal a
Peal in his Ears, that he thought himſelf in Hell among
the wretched Crew of the damn'd, and from this Mo-
ment he refolv'd to take up, and to bid farewel to thoſe
unlawful Pleaſures, that firft lead to Atheiſm, and then
plunge the Sinner into eternal Torments. He had heard
of Eufebius, and concluded him to be Man of Merit.
and Piety, becaufe Eleutherius lampoon'd him. For what,
faid he, can fuch finish'd Rakes applaud but Vice, or
buffoon but Virtue? When therefore the Cabal deter-
min'd to attack Eufebius, he embraced the Occafion, and
offered his Perſon for the Encounter: But his Intention
was, not to argue, but to learn; to receive Inſtruction,
not to hector.
At his Arrival, he inform'd Eufebius of his Errand, he
declar'd his Name, Quality, Circumftance, and Refolu-
tion.
Eufebius declin'd the Task as much as Civility would
permit: He told him he was better provided to receive,
than to give Inſtruction; but Leander prefs'd upon him
too hard to receive a Denial. At laft, Importunity over-
came the old Gentleman, and he began thus. You are a
Soldier, and a Courtier, fo that your Buſineſs lies in the
Field, or St. James's: In Summer, you lodge under a
Tent; in Winter, at Court: We will firft cut you out
Employment for the Campaign.
I.
Eufeb. Courage is the Diana of Soldiers, it's a Kind
of Camp Divinity, and all, from the General to the pri-
vate Centinel, pay it Homage, and almoſt Adoration: It's
therefore your Intereft not to be led away by Notions
flufh'd by Error, and fram'd by Caprice. Remember
one Virtue is never at Variance with another, they live
in Amity, and entertain a good Correfpondence: But
you may as foon ftrike Fire out of ice, as Valour out of
Crimes. Sin alone arms Death with Terror, Innocence
dares provoke it; and even charge thro' Hell: For Death
can only take from pious Chriftians a Life they muft
furrender to Nature; its Power only reaches the Body,
and its Dominion expires with our laft Breath. If you
ambition the Repute of a valiant Man, make fure of
Virtue;
176 A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
Virtue; put no Streſs on a fiery Conftitution, that rife
and falls with the Barometer, a Courage that depends on
Seafons, is precarious, and can be no more truſted than
the Winds; it oft'ner flows in the Tavern than in the
Field, and looks more fternly on an Enemy's Back, than
on his Face.
II.
Provide, Leander, for the Chriftian: If you mifcarry
under this Character, that of the Soldier will ſcarce
refcue you: The Colonel will be uneafy if the Chriftian
be damnn'd, nor will all the Bravo's of his Regiment re-
trieve his Misfortune; ftand therefore on your own
Guard, and be as ready to meet Death, as to encounter
the Enemy. Death, dear Sir, makes its Approaches by
Surprize, and attacks by Mine and Stratagem, it works
out of Sight, and often affaults without Signal: I muſt
tell you too, it hates Capitulation, it takes in the van-
quifh'd at Difcretion, and will not hear of a Cartel:
Nay, it diſtinguiſhes not the General from a common
Trooper, and has no Regard to Dignity or Commiffion.
So that neither the Duke nor the Marshal will be per-
mitted to trip back to London, or Paris, upon their Pa-
role. When once Death has arrefted you, nothing re-
mains but Hell or Heaven, and both eternal. This Un-
certainty of Death, made our Saviour fo often preach
Care and Caution. He bids us ftand continually upon
our Guard, and counfels us as a Friend, to prepare a-
gainſt an Enemy, fo audacious, and at the fame Time fo
undermining. And certainly, if this Advice be feafona-
ble for all Mankind, it must be very proper for Soldi-
ers, for they not only run the common Hazards of Men,
but alſo thoſe that wait upon their Profeffion. They car-
ry about them the Principles of a thouſand Distempers,
and at every Step ftumble upon foreign Dangers, never
foreſeen, and feldom avoided. Sometimes you beat up
the Enemy's Quarters, fometimes he returns to the
Charge. If you give him a Camifade, he comes upon
you with a Reveil Matin: Yet whether you affail, or are
affailed, you are equally within the Reach of Danger,
and nothing but Hazard can protect you: For whoever
comes in the Way of Bombs and Bullets leaves Security
behind him. Keep therefore your felf clear of Sin, you
will fight with a good Heart, if a good Confcience fol-
lows
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 177
[
lows you to the Engagement, and will either come off a
Conqueror, or fall a Hero. But if Crimes draw upon the
Soul, whilst Muskets and Artillery play upon the Body,
Fortitude will not long ftand by you: Courage without
a good Confcience trembles at Hell, and leaves a Man
difpirited when he moſt needs Support. For who will
charge an Enemy through Smoak and Fire, that fears the
next Moment to plunge into everlaſting Sulphur? If there-
fore you have a mind to fight well, refolve to live well,
and whilst you have Time, think of a Provifion beyond.
the Grave.
III.
Live not in the Camp like a Spahi or Janiſary at the Ot-
toman Port, meerly for Intereft, or Glory. Such Pagan
Motives are below the Dignity of a Chriftian Cavalier.
Level your Pretenfions above fuch bafe Views, and make
Advantage of Labour and Merit. Can't you ſerve your
Prince, benefit your Country, oblige Pofterity, deferve
the Applauſe of Men, and a Reward in Heaven? Can
you not be as brave out of a Senſe of Duty, as of Vanity
or Intereft? Will your Pay be leſs, becauſe you expect a
Gratification hereafter? Will your Actions be lefs glori-
ous, becauſe they receive a Luftre from Virtue? Raiſe up
then your Ambition to this noble Height; ftrike at this
charming Mark, it's worth the while, and fits the Cha-
racter of a Chriftian. But it's a Madnefs beyond Fren-
zy to drudge like Slaves in the Quarries, or Metal Mines,
or efpoufe continual Dangers, to refign the Satisfactions
of Life, for Noife and Ceremony, for a few Crowns,
or a Place in the Gazette, or an airy Huzza of infignifi-
cant Mortals, who praife by Chance, and blame at Řan-
dom; who fide with Temerity against true Courage,
and always pronounce in Favour of fuccefsful Rafhnefs
againſt unfortunate Prudence and Bravery.
Notwithstanding this bewitching Phanton fafcinates
Soldiers, it heats their Brain, and anvils out a thou-
fand Contrivances. Neither Rhetorick is able to ha-
rangue 'em, hor Logick to reafon 'em out of this unchri-
ftiah Humour: It's the leaft reafonable, and moſt child-
ifh of all our Follies. To court Death in earneſt, for a
Life purely in fancy, to fling up all the Advantages of
this World, and run headlong upon all the Terrors of
the other for a Panegyrick, is to bottom our Summum Bo-
N
178 A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
?
num on Opinion, and to be happy at other's Courteſy.
Applaufe is a very indigent, or a very ill-natur'd thing;
it leaves us where it finds us, and cannot, or will not re-
trieve the moft infignificant Misfortune. Pray in what
King's Reign did it fill an empty Pocket? When did it
ſet a disjointed Eſtate? When did it command a difor-
der'd Pulfe to beat even? Or recal a Man from his
Grave? Alas! the Expectation of this Life at fecond
Hand can only draw fine Landskips in the Imagination,
and crown the Brain with diverting Thoughts. Now a
moderate Dofe of Opium will do the Bufinefs with lefs
Hazard than a Stab, and at lefs Expence than the For-
feiture of Life and Lirnb.
You intend not, I fuppofe, to carry Bravery beyond
that of the Duke of Luxemburgh, nor difpute Conduct
with matchlefs Turenne: No, believe me, Sir, you will
fall fhort a Bar's length at leaſt of the firft, and will
fcarce come within Cannon-ſhot of the ſecond; and yet
thele mighty Heroes fleep in their Graves. The admir'd
Panegyrick of de la Rue could not awake the Duke, nor
the fwimming Periods of Flechier revive the Viſcount.
Their brave Actions that fill'd the Gazettes of the laſt
Age, may perchance appear in the Theatre towards the
end of this, and if it pleaſe the Poet, not for Triumph,
but Condemnation. But alas! the Dead are not greater
for the Esteem of the Living, nor leſs for their Cenſure.
If a virtuous Motive animated the Enterprizes of theſe
famous Generals, they have received a Reward; if a vi-
tious one, they feel the Puniſhment. Fight therefore in
a good Caufe, with a clear Confcience, and a holy Mo-
tive, like a Chriftian, not like a Mamaluke, or Pagan:
Provide for your Soul, and God will provide for your
Honour; if your Name be forgot in the Annals of Time,
it will make a noble Figure in thoſe of Eternity. Thoſe
invincible Squadrons of Martyrs, who in the Eye of the
World lived in Contempt, and died in Difhonour, who
were lath'd like Slaves, and executed as Criminals, are
crown'd with immortal Glory in Heaven, and their very
Memory breathes Perfumes on Earth, whilft their Perfe
cutors groan in Flame; and God feems to have convey'd
down their Names to Pofterity only for their Puniſhment,
and our Infruction.
Lean.
i
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 179
Lean. You adviſe me to ftand for a good Caufe: Is it
the Subject's Bufinefs to enter into the Secrets of the Ca-
binet, to examine the Reſults of the Privy-Counſel, and
to fet up a fingle Opinion againſt a Royal Declaration?
With Submiffion, I always thought it the Duty of Sub-
jects to obey, not to difpute with Superiors; they muſt
be ſuppos'd to command what is juft, till their Injuncti-
ons appear evidently unjuft. For in doubtful Cafes Pre-
fumption ftands for the Government; and this Deference
we indifpenfably owe to Authority, otherwife I fee not
how the chief Magiftrate can maintain Peace and Tran-
quillity. I confefs, it's my Opinion, and has always
been my Practice.
Eufeb. Had all Men kept up to your Principles, leſs
Blood had run from English Veins the laſt Age, and leſs
Coin from their Purfes. But when the Prince's Preroga-
tives are clip'd, his Orders queftion'd by the Multitude,
when Jack and Tom erect Tribunals of Right and Wrong
in every Tavern, and an Amfterdam Coffee-houſe Club
ufurps the Power of reviewing the Proclamations of White-
hall, what can be expected but Tumult and Deftruction?
When therefore the Government declares War, a Sub-
ject muſt fuppofe it lawful, unleſs he can oppoſe ſtrict
Evidence, and he may fight with a fafe Confcience un-
der his lawful Prince's Standard in this Conjuncture. But
this is not the prefent Cafe; I hinted at a Practice unjuſt
in my Opinion, though ordinary. Young Gentlemen
without Employment at home, try Conclufions abroad:
They purſue Commiffions in Holland, France, and Ger-
many, and fell their Service, as Jockies do Horſes, to
him that bids moft; their Swords diftinguifh not Right
from Intereft, they ftand not upon the Niceties of Ĉa-
ſuiſtry, nor trouble themfelves with the Notions of Ju-
ftice; their Bufinefs is to fecure Money without forma
lizing upon the Means, and fuppofe their Caufe good, if
their Commiflion be creditable, and lucrative.
Lean. Permit me, Sir, to interpofe; methinks you
bind up unprovided Gentlemen to hard Circumftances,
and fcrew up the Morals of the Gofpel fome Points too
high. Suppofe I plead hard for a Regiment under Philip
the Fifth, but falling fhort of my Expectation, I addrefs
my felf to Charles the Third, and obtain a Commiffion;
is this Conduct finful?
N 2
Eufeb.
180
A SUPPLEMENT to the firft Part
Eufeb. Had you been pleas'd to have fuffered me to
proceed, you had receiv'd an Anſwer to this Quare. I··
therefore explain my Mind thus. An Englishman has no
Dependance on foreign States, and therefore cannot enter
into their Quarrels at random, he muſt be convinc'd,
before he draws his Sword, the Party's Right ftands up-
on fair Reaſons, and plaufible Grounds; for an Officer
thus in Commiflion is a kind of Lawyer, with this only
Difference, that the one pleads his Client's Caufe at the
Bar, the other in the Field; the one with his Tongue, the
other with his Sword; and as no Lawyer can undertake.
the Defence of a Cauſe deſtitute of Proofs, that found a
rational Probability; fo no Gentleman can enter into an
extern Service without a previous Information of the Ju-
ſtice of the Quarrel he engages to defend. Now, tho
it be certain, that if Philip has Right to the Spanish Mo-
narchy, Charles has none; and that if this Prince has,
Philip is an Ufurper, (for two can have no Right at the
fame Time to the fame Thing) yet becauſe Jurifts are di-
vided upon the Queſtion, and both fupport their Title by
probable Arguments, a Stranger may fide with either,
but then he cannot fheer off from one to the other.
then he is fure to eſpouſe the Wrong againſt the Right,
becauſe Juftice ftands not for both. I caution'd you a-
gainſt this Game of Faft and Loofe, Under-Officers of-
ten play at. It's neither Genteel nor Chriftian, chooſe
your Side, in God's Name, but then let not a fairer Pro-
fpect of Advantage draw you over to the Enemy. In-
deed this fhifting of Colours is rather the Practice of Sol-
diers than Commanders. But thefe fometimes are guil-
ty, and as the Confequences in theſe are more dangerous,
fo their Crime is lefs pardonable.
For
Lean. I take your Meaning. A Subject muft ftand
up for the Defence of his lawful Prince and Country, a-
gainſt the Attempt of a foreign Enemy, without entring
upon a Difquifition of the Juftice of the War. But who-
ever enters into the Service of a foreign State, actually
engaged in War, must be perfuaded upon rational
Grounds the War is juft. And when he has ftruck in
with one Side, he cannot retreat to the other during the
fame War, unlefs he receives new Information.
Enfeb. You comprehend me.
Lean
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
181
Lean. I am of your Opinion, and fubfcribe to your
Reafon; for by fo doing, we run headlong into a fatal
Neceffity of upholding Wrong againſt Right. For tho'
the Titles of both the Pretendants may carry a fair
Outſide, yet it's certain, at the Bottom, one is defec-
tive. Pray now go on.
IV.
Eufeb. Wage not War like Canibals or Tartars, Corn-
miffion reaches the Guilty, but gives no Power over the
Innocent; Soldiers may come within the Statute of Mur-
der, as well as Pads on the Highway, and may be as
guilty of Thefts as Eve-droppers, or Cut purfes. Thou
Jhalt not murder, thou shalt not fleal, are comprehenſive
Precepts, they take in the Camp as well as the City, and
are no leſs binding in the Field, than in Winter-Quar-
ters. Keep therefore your Men up to Order and Diſ-
cipline, and as you reward their Valour, fo punish their
Crimes. Look upon Maradures as a Nufance to the
Camp, as a Shame to the Profeffion, and a Plague to
Mankind. They must not be countenanc'd as Soldiers,
but executed as Felons. They ſhould receive no better
Quarter from their Officers, than they give the Peafants,
nor find more Mercy, when taken, than they fhew when
they rifle Villages. Who hinders not a Crime, fays Sene-
ca, commits it. The Rapes and Violences of a Soldier
rebound on the indulgent Commanders, and by Conni-
vance they adopt them
The great Belifarius has left Generals a noble Model,
and points out a fhort, but fure Way to Victory. Know,
Companions, faid he, I am come to fight, not so much
with Weapons of Steel, as with the Arms of Justice and
Religion: Without theſe,how can we expect Victory,or hope
for Success? My Camp fhall not be polluted with Rapine,
nor your Swords with Cruelty. Without Juftice, Courage is
weak, and a wicked Hero will turn his Back to an innocent
Coward. This fhort Harangue aw'd the Soldier, and
frighted him into Refpect and Modefty. Nay, it raiſed
the General fo high in the Efteem of all the Italians, that
it's hard to determine, whether they admired more his
Conduct and Bravery, or his Difcipline. The very
Clowns loved the Legionaries, as their Brethren, and al-
moft ador'd the General as a tutelar Divinity. Never
Man undertook greater Things with a lefs Army, nor
N 3
I
came
182
A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
came off with more Glory. With fcarce twelve thoufand
Soldiers he clear'd Africa of Tyrants, and Italy almoſt
of the Goths; he not only retook Rome, but fubdued Vi-
tiges at the Head of a hundred thoufand Men, and led
him captive to Conftantiaople. Thus we fee Succefs
oft'ner follows Order and Difcipline, than Numbers, and
that Virtue, with a fmall Retinue, over-matches Vice
with a greater.
Lean. I confefs it were to be wifh'd that our Generals
had more Authority, and the Soldiers better Diſcipline.
But alas! thefe Qualities are out of Faſhion, and Obe-
dience that once made the Glory of Soldiers, is now be-
come their Shame.
Eufeb. If you are unable to bridle the Militia's Info-
lence, quit your Poft, it's better to refign your Commiffi-
on than your Innocence, and more fafe to lay down your
Command, than to forfeit your Soul. He is unfit for
Rule, that cannot command Obedience.
I have ſeen Armies licentious beyond Meaſure, and in-
folent to Exceſs; one would have thought Attila with his
Huns was once more return'd to plague Christendom :
Terror march'd before the Camp, Defolation accompa-
ny'd it, and a thouſand Imprecations of undone Peafants
follow'd it. Mahomet could not have acted more bloody
Tragedies in Europe: Nor the moft irritated Chriftian
Prince in Afia. They ftorm'd more Purfes than Towns,
and wheel'd off from Counterfcarps, to affault Hen-
Roofts and Sheep-cotes. They feem'd to take the Field,
not to fight, but to plunder; and whilft the lawless Sol-
diers fcatter'd Ruin with Fire and Sword, the Generals
fpread Defolation with Safeguards: So that the Protecti-
on of theſe, was more expenfive than the Avarice of thofe,
and Kindneſs was no lefs cruel than Fury. The Diſorder
was evident, though the Caufe of it was difputed; fome
arraign'd the Weaknefs, others the Avarice of the Offi-
cers, and fome the Infolence of the Soldiers. But whilft
every one complain'd, the Mifchief run on without Li-
mit, and only then a Remedy was applied, when the
Difeafe was paft Cure, i. e. when the Country could lofe
no more, nor the Army gain any more: And yet thefe
fine Pranks were play'd among Friends and Allies. But
if Friendfh be fo chargeable, it's not worth the Pur-
chafe, and I had rather lay my all at the Mercy of a Foe,
than
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 183
than to give it to the Avarice of a Friend; for I believe
he is no richer that is beggar'd by his Protector, than he
that is ruin'd by his Enemy. And, methinks, to be hugg'd
or piſtol❜d to Death, is an equal Misfortune. You know,
Sir, how many Ifraelites fell for the Sacrilege of one Man,
and nothing could appeaſe God's Anger, but the Execu-
tion of the Offender. How many Armies have melted.
away into nothing for the fame Caufe? Mortality fwept
away whole Companies without Remedy, and baried
Regiments without Honour. Though Soldiers and Offi
cers ſmile at thefe Exorbitances, they will hereafter
change their Mirth into a more doleful Key, unless they
deteft with Horror thofe Injuftices, they now applaud
with Infolence. You must never draw your Sword but
to defend Juſtice, and a General's commanding Staff,
like the Club of Hercules, muft always be heaved up to
quell Monſters.
V.
Tho' a Soldier's Life be honourable, yet we muſt grant,
that of all Profeffions it's the moſt miferable. The Prero-
gative of a private Centinel above a Slave lies only in the
Name,and the Advantage, if any,ftands for the Gallerian:
For the Soldier is tied to continual Duty, and, like a Va-
gabond, is without Houſe, and often without Cover. He
is unprovided of Neceflaries to fupply his Wants, and of
Patience to fupport 'em without Murmur. Yet he aban-
dons his Friends, bids his Country farewel, to range a-
bout the World (like the wild Tartars in Tents) he
throws himſelf upon Poverty, under a foreign Climate,
and affronts Death for a Groat a Day. What an incon-
fiderable Salary is here for a Toil fo flavifh, crowded
with fuch a multitude of Dangers, and fo far removed
from the very Hope of Preferment? Yet fome Officers,
in fpight of Laws, both Human and Divine, divide this No-
thing, and ſo ſtarve the Soldier to feed their Pride and
Debauchery. They live high at others Expence, and
carry on the Camp Diverfion (Gaming) by Extortion.
This Pandora's Box pours out a hundred Plagues upon the
Army, for the Soldier muft live; if therefore the Cap-
tain purloins the Pay, and fets it afide to retrieve an un-
lucky Caft, or to ftop a Camp-Lady's Mouth, muſt he
not draw Bills of Exchange upon the Country, i. e. give
the Signal to plunder at Difcretion, and upon his Honour
N 4
promife
184 A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
promiſe Impunity? I once took the Liberty to check a
Captain for a Conduct fo unchriftian, and unnatural.
Faith, Sir, faid he, the Cards run unkindly the other
Day, my Guineas deferted to the Enemy, and I muft re-
cruit. This is the only Way, and Cuſtom has prevailed.
So have, antwer'd I, a great many ill Things befides.
The higheſt Extravagances can plead a Prefident, and if
this ſufficed to authorize an Action, Whores and Rogues
would have a fine Time, and theſe ſcandalous Profeffi-
ons would become not only reputable, but innocent.
But, Sir, Cuftom, without Reafon, is no better than
Vice triumphant.
Befides, it cherifhes Defertions, and fo injures the Prince
as well as the Subject. Who will drudge meerly for Ba-
ftinado's and Beggary? This is uneafy, and thofe are nei-
ther creditable nor pleafing. Nay Pain and Mifery are
infupportable, unleſs corrected by fome ſweet'ning Ingre-
dients; like Pills, they must be gilt to go down: For, be-
lieve me, Pain with Soldiers over rules Duty, and Senfe
of Indigence works ftronger than that of Honour; their
Reafon is in the Oar, unpolifh'd, and almoft unfit for
Service. Difcourfe and Reflection run very low with
them, and Confcience lower. What then can keep theſe
poor Wretches to their Colours, if their Subfiftence be
withdrawn? Nothing in Hand, with nothing in Reverfi-
on, is Beggary for Life. Such a State is miferable beyond
Parallel, it's a kind of Damnation that diſcards a Man not
only of all Comfort, but even of Hope and Expectation,
that buoy up the Spirits of Slaves. Their Fortune being
fo low, they know it cannot fink lower, and then it's na-
tural by fhifting Sides to endeavour to be better, and thus
we fee Regiments grow thin without Battle, without
Difeafes, and Companies broken by meer Deſertion. Se-
verity will never heal this Evil. Defpair forces People
upon ftrange Courfes. He who receives daily Unkind-
nefs from his Officer, and Injuftice too, will rather for
once venture the Gallows, than continually groan under
the Tyranny.
Lean. Why don't the Soldiers complain? They are
free-born Subjects, and under the Protection of the Law.
Eufeb. Complain when the Plaintiff ftands at the Bar,
and the Defendant fits on the Bench, on which fide will
the Balance turn? The Informer is immediately clapp'd
:
up
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
185
up for Mutiny, and thus, at the fame Time, he forfeits his
Pay, and lays his Life at the Mercy of a Court Marshal.
This Camp-Juftice is ill-natur'd and quick too; a Man is
fent into the other World in a Moment, not for his own,
but others Crimes. Good God! to take a Man's Purfe,
and then to bar him the Liberty to complain; to ſtretch
him on the Rack, and then to torment him becauſe he
groans, has more of the Tyrant than of the Judge, and
favours more of the Officer's Prerogative, than of the
Liberty and Property of the Soldiers. It's the Duty
of the high Officers to look into the Comportment of
the lower; to ſtop thefe Grievances by Puniſhment or
Cafheering; if they wink at fuch Offenders, God will
not connive at their criminal Indulgence. Lewis the
Fourteenth, in my Prefence, did an Action worthy of his
Greatnefs: Two Soldiers were led to Execution, as he
enter'd into the Town; the poor Wretches cry'd out
Mercy, and the King ſtopp'd; he enquir'd the Cauſe of
their Puniſhment, and when he was told they had left
their Colours, turning to the Prifoners, Friends, faid
he, what mov'd you to leave my Service, were you paid?
They replied, no: He fent for the Officers upon the Spot,
examin'd the Accufation, and finding them guilty, he
tore their Commiffions, broke their Swords, and pardon'd
the Prifoners. This Piece of Juftice fhould ftand upon
Record for a Prefident, for an Example to Generals, and
for a Terror to under Officers; and were it ſometimes
practis'd, I believe Deſertion might be lefs frequent, and
by confequence Camp-Executions.
VI
Treat your Soldiers like Men, with Civility, not like
Affes, with Clubs; Cruelty may break Bones, but will
never heal Faults. I have feen the Cane raife Indignati-
on often, but never Sorrow; it fetches out thoughts of
Revenge, but inftils no purpoſe of Amendment. People
may be perfuaded by Reafon, not beaten by Blows out
of their Errors. I was acquainted with a Captain; he
was a Man of Punctilio, and Ceremony, better at his
Tongue than at his Weapon; he fwore better than he
fought, and was more famous for caning his Company,
than for ftorming Half-moons. This young Huff com-
manded a Serjeant to pay him Refpect, and follow'd the
Command with this quaint Rodomontade, B.G. if you don't
I'll
186 A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
I'll make a Devil of you. But under his Worſhip's Favour,
his Power anſwer'd not his Will, in fpight of Menace,
the Serjeant remain'd a Man, and a Chriftian, whilft
my young Commander put on the Fiend; he was in-
deed unfurnifh'd of Horns and cloven Feet, but under
the Shape of a Man he poffefs'd all the Malice of Satan.
He affected Reſpect, and by exacting it with Haughti-
nefs, and Empire, he fell into Contempt; for the Com-
pany huzza'd the Expreffion, and burleſqu'd my Gentle-
man by turning it to Ridicule. Nay, the Drollery went
fo far, that the Spark was forc'd to throw up his Com-
miffion: And thus, inſtead of metamorphofing the other
into a Devil, he made a Fool of himſelf. David, with his
Harp, cured Saul, and play'd down the evil Genius that
haunted him; but certainly Curfes and Imprecations
have not that healing Quality. A Man may fwear him-
felf into Hell, but he'll fcarce blafpheme another into hist
Duty; this horrid Cuſtom muſt be banish'd without Re-
ferve, without Limitation; it's too foul to be ſcreen'd by
any Pretext of Affront or Infolence; it grates upon hear-
ing; it's difhonourable to our Almighty Creator, and
dangerous in Example. Can't an Officer right himſelf
without affronting God? Can't he exact Obedience,
without difobeying the Laws of Heaven? Or has he a
Mind to correct a Soldier's Offence at the Expence of his
own Innocence, and to purchaſe Reſpect at the Price of
Damnation?
There are other Means to let People know their Di-
ftance, without being ill-natur'd, or impious: Put on a
handſome Behaviour, let the Soldier have his Due, hear
his Grievances with Patience, and redreſs 'em with Expe-
dition. When he offends,ufe Reproof oft'ner than the Cane,
and correct not one Fault by committing another. Let
not damn'd Dog, Devil, or Son of a Whore, pafs your Lips,
the Dialect is unbefeeming a Gentleman, and below a
Chriftian. Tho' there be a Difference between a private
Centinel and an Officer, yet fuch Language magnifies the
Inequality beyond Proportion, they are of the fame Spe-
cies, and inherit equally the common Prerogatives of the
Kind; they have the fame Relation to God, to Reafon,
and Immortality. The Centinel has five Senfes, the Ge-
neral has no more; and if the private Soldier be vir-
tuous, and the Officer vicious, the whole Advantage lies
on
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
187
on his Side. Indeed one has a Commiffion, but this is
often the Effect of Chance or Money, not of Merit;
and though it may fet you upon the higher Ground, it
adds nothing to your real Worth. The Equality there-
fore being fo even, let not the Treatment be difpropor-
tion'd; reflect you fpeak to Men, not to Beafts; to free-
born Subjects, not to Slaves.
Be generous and free, give not too much to Familiarity,
nor ftand off in Referve. Be couragious in the Field, mo-
derate in Converfation; and if you model your Conduct
by thefe Rules, Men will efteem your Parts, and refpect
your Perfon; but if you intend to baſtinado Soldiers in-
to Refpect, or to hector 'em into Love, you will mifs of
your Aim. Theſe are the Effects of Kindneſs, not of
Violence; you may, perchance, have their Hats, but
not their Hearts; they will fear, but never love you.
Now Fear is commonly the Parent of Hatred, and when
this Paffion has once feiz'd on the Soldiers, I would coun-
fel the Offier to withdraw; he is lefs fecure among his
Guards, than in the Battalions of the Enemy. For Ha-
tred is daring, and ſeldom fails of doing Miſchief when
it has the Advantage.
VII.
Leander, punifh Faults, in God's Name, but with the
Mercy of a Judge, not with the Cruelty of a Tyrant.
Convince the Regiment of your Behaviour, Juftice pro-
nounced the Sentence, not Paffion, 'and remember Com-
paffion in the heighth of Severity. Leave fome Time
between the Sentence and the Execution; who is brought
in guilty to Day, may be found not guilty to Morrow;
it's never too late to execute a Criminal, but always too
foon to murder an Innocent. Befides, Death is a Mo-
ment on which an Eternity depends. Is it not therefore
a Cruelty beyond the Barbarity of Tyrants to throw a
poor Creature off the Ladder in a Hurry, before he re-
flects where he is going? Did not Chrift redeem a pri-
vate Centinel, as well as a General? Becauſe he has for-
feited his Claim to Life, has he no Pretenfion to Heaven?
Give him therefore Time to provide for the Future, that
he may be happy in the next World, tho' he goes out
of this on a Scaffold. Let him have Leiſure to furvey
the prefent State of his Soul, to prepare for a Removal,
and to arm himſelf with Sorrow for the fatal Blow. Fur-
niſh
1
188
A SUPPLEMENT to the firft Part
nifh him a Divine for Comfort and Inftruction; a Man
under the Apprehenfion and Terror of Death, wants
fome Support; Courage alone will not keep him in an
equal Situation, nothing but an Atheiſtical Bravery or
Chriſtian Sanctity can fweeten the Paffage, and abate its
Horror; i. e. to receive the Stroak without Concern,
we muſt have led fuch virtuous Lives as give us a firm
Hope of future Blifs, or believe we end in nothing, and
fo fhall neither be capable of Happineſs or Mifery.
I believe few Soldiers, at this Pinch, receive much Re-
lief from the Proſpect of their paſt Lives: For tho' Vir-
tue be their Bufinefs, it feldom finds a Place in their
Thoughts, much lefs in their Practice. In the Summer
their Minds run upon Sieges, Battles, or Plunder, and
are continually on the catch for Booty or Slaughter. In
Winter they plunge into Debauchery, and try, by indulg-
ing Senfe, to blot out the Memory of paft Fatigués: So
that their Lives are a Tiflue of Robbery or Riot; they
live in a State of Sin, and by confequence march on
through daily Tranfgreffions to Damnation.
A poor Creature, who has not finn'd away the Belief of
another World, nor fteel'd his Confcience, muſt be ſtunn'd
when he fees Death before him, a thoufand unnatural
Crimes within him, a judge upon the Bench ready to
pronounce the Sentence, and Devils to execute it; this
difmal Proſpect will pall his Spirits, and may fooner caft
him into Fits of Defpair, than into Tranfports of Sorrow.
The Devil will eafily perfuade him God is as inexorable
as the Court-Marſhal, and that he will fall from the Gib-
bet into unquenchable Flames.
Now a charitable Divine may remove thefe Terrors,
by opening the Mercies of God, and the boundleſs Trea-
fures of his Goodness; he may bring him to Repentance
by an expreffive Reprefentation of the Torments below,
and of the Joys above; and will an Officer that profeffes
Chriſtianity, that knows God will treat him in the next
World, as he deals with his Brother in this, refuſe fo
ſmall a Condefcenfion?
But if the Criminal be tainted with Atheiſtical Princi-
ples, he may, indeed, die without Concern or Apprehen-
fion of the Future; but alas! will the Disbelief of God
exempt him from Judgment, or of Hell, from Fire and
Brimftone? Tho' an Atheift places God among the Chi-
mera's,
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
189
mera's, he is a very real Thing, and tho' he rallies upon
Hell, he will ſcarce laugh out his Flames. No, he will
certainly know there is a God by the Sentence of Dam-
nation, and tho' his Reafon difown'd a Hell, Senſe will
confute the Error. Now a little Time, and good Coun-
fel may reclaim fuch a Creature, and a precipitated Ex-
ecution will certainly damn him. Is it not worth the
while to make a Tentative at leaſt? If he refuſe Advice,
his Miſcarriage will lie at his own Door; if you deny him
Time and an Inftructor, God will caft it at yours.
Let him alfo, if poffible, receive the Holy Sacrament,
the Means inſtituted by our Saviour for Salvation are his
Right; and whofoever invades this, ftands guilty at God's
Tribunal of ſomething more hideous than Murder. God
reveng❜d the innocent Blood of Abel on guilty Cain, and
will he wink at the Damnation of a Soul? No, no; thoſe
who ſhut the Gate of Mercy against their Brethren, mure
it up againſt themfelves, they provoke God to retaliate
their Cruelty in the next World, and oftentimes in this;
and if he fuffers fuch Monſters to flouriſh, we may be
fure he is angry, for prefent Impunity is the deepeſt Re-
venge, becauſe it forebodes a future Mifery. Plead not
the Severity of military Laws, no Court of human Ju-
ftice has Power over Souls, thefe come not within the
Verge of their Jurifdiction. God alone is their lawful
Judge; to difpenfe Rewards, and ordain Puniſhments, is
his Prerogative.
VIII.
Procure a Chaplain, that your Regiment may be train'd
up in the Diſcipline of Chrift, as well as of Mars: But
be circumfpect in the Choice, receive not thofe who feek
a Sanctuary in the Camp againſt the Purſuit of their Bi-
ſhops; fuch Men are more fit for a Jayl, than for the
Pulpit, and rather deferve Penance than Preferment.
Thoſe who caft off all Care of their own Souls, will ſcarce
take to Heart the Salvation of their Neighbour; and
thoſe who run down Virtue in Practice, will not heartily
preach it up at the Head of the Regiment. It's more
probable, they will improve thofe Vices in the Army they
took up in Town, and finifh the Debaucheries in Flanders
they only began in England. I faw the Chaplain of an
Hanoverian Regiment run twice the Gauntlet in a pub-
lick Street, and then turn'd out of his Regiment for his Be-
haviour.
190
A SUPPLEMENT to the firft Part
:
haviour. Indeed the Puniſhment was extraordinary, but
his Manners deſerv'd it, and the Officers concluded no-
thing but a publick Animadverfion was able to atone for
the Heinoufnefs of the Scandal. How are Men that want
Reformation likely to reform Soldiers? They may open
the Gate to Diforders, and ſcatter the Plague they carry
about 'em, but will never ftop the Current of one Vice,
either by Counſel or Inftruction.
You muſt have a Man of an approv'd Virtue, whofe
Example edifies as well as his Tongue, and who, tho'
he preaches well, lives better. A Man that neither flat-
ters the Pride of fome, nor keeps pace with the unwar-
rantable Ambition of others; who neither courts Great-
nefs, nor fawns on Dignity, but is above all the little
Views of Intereft and Pleaſure. A Man who hopes for no-
thing, will fear nothing, he will no more pardon Vice in
Commiffion, than in the Centry-Box, and will no more
fuffer the Exceffes of a Colonel, than of a private Sol-
dier. A Man that matches Zeal with Prudence, and
knows how to time Reproof, and nick Exhortation, will
do Wonders, tho' he works no Miracle; he will neither
ſtretch his Patent out of Arrog... ce, nor fhrink it out of
Bafenefs and Servility; but will keep up to his Character,
and maintain the Dignity of his Poft, and the Preroga-
tive of his Profeffion, and indeed who does otherwife ex-
poſes himself to Contempt, renders his Inftructions in-
fignificant, and makes himſelf defpicable and cheap.
What a Reformation would a Chaplain thus equip'd
make in a Regiment? No Vice would withstand his Zeal,
no Sin appear in his Prefence, his Words would be re-
ceiv'd like Oracles by the Soldiers, and the whole Regi-
ment would fear him as a Cenfor, and love him as a Fa-
ther; and when once a Soldier is taught to live well, he
is fit for any Enterprize: For whoever dares look the
other World in the Face, will charge thro' all the Ter-
rors of this.
IX.
When the General commands you upon Service, re-
ceive his Orders with Submiffion, and execute 'em with
Valour; regard lefs the Difficulty of the Enterprize, than
your Duty; and when you have done your Part, leave
the Event to Providence. Succefs oftentimes lies out of
our Reach, and forfakes Prudence and Valour to wait
On
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
191
on Temerity; lay your Defigns with Wiſdom, carry 'em
on with Refolution, and you have diſcharg'd your Duty.
Expoſe not your Perfon out of a meer Punctilio, nor
refufe a Poft out of a Profpect of Danger; Life is more
valuable than Grimace, and lefs than Reputation. It's
worth coming into the World to make a handſome and
honourable Exit, and more creditable for a Cavalier to
fall in the Field, than to come off with Infamy.
I laugh at thofe fiery Hot-fpurs, who (like Salaman-
ders) can only breathe in Smoak and Flames; they are
never well but when they ftand within an Inch of Ruin;
they are for trying a Rubber at Loggerheads with Can-
non-Bullets, and for knocking out their Brains againſt
Half-Moons and Baftions; nay, they cannot live out of
the Reach of the Enemy's Batteries, and are ready to ex-
pire out of Fear of living too long; they dun the General
to be fent upon every Attack, when neither Duty nor
Prudence require their Service, and, like the Indian Wo-
men, who rave to caft themſelves upon their Husband's
Funeral-pile, bear a Repulſe with Indignation. Now in
my Judgment this is to miſtake Courage for Temerity,
and to place Bravery in Folly.
7. W. was of this Temper; he bore a Command in the
Cavalry, yet in fpight of Diffuafion would leave his
Horſe to court Honour on Foot, he ftorm'd a Counter-
fearp, and was the firft Man that fell in the Action; he
run on without Reafon, and was brought off without
Life, without Reputation; all pitied his Misfortune, tho'
no Body excus'd his Conduct, fome ftiled him brave, but
not one durft venture to call him prudent. Bullets di-
ſtinguiſh raſh Volunteers in the Crowd, and Providence
feems to withdraw its Protection from Stragglers, and to
leave 'em to the Government of another Influence.
I know indeed we throw this Heat on a Pretence of
Preferment. We muft, cry they, diftinguiſh our felves
from the Crowd, and do more than our Fellows to plead
Merit. A Soldier indeed muſt look above his own Sta-
tion, he who confines his Defires to a moderate Poft, de-
ſerves none; to be content with a mean Commiffion,
marks a narrow Soul, and ungenerous Inclination ; it's
a Symptom of more Flegm than Heat, and that he is ra-
ther cut out for a Shop, than for the Camp. Diſtinguiſh
therefore your felf, in God's Name, but affect not to
be
192 A SUPPLEMENT to the first Pärt
be remarkable for Folly: Tho' Bethlem be in the Way to
Hgfden, certainly it lies out of the Road to Promotion.
Life was given by our Almighty Creator for a noble End,
and therefore we muſt not expofe it fooliſhly; I would
no more throw it up out of a Bravado, than out of a Pet,
nor facrifice it rafhly in a Fight, more than in a Duel.
But when a noble Occafion prefents; an Occafion that
will ftand the Ordeal of Reafon, and can be pleaded to
Advantage, tho' it be not follow'd by Succefs, let it not
flip by, but lay hold of it with Joy and Tranſport, and
thank the General for the Honour of the Opportunity.
Exert a Refolution equal to the Difficulty, and do to the
height of the Enterprize. Diſcover nothing that is low,
nothing that is boisterous, nothing that argues Fear, or
betrays Prefumption; be more folicitous how to go on,
than how to come off, and take a greater Care of your
Carriage, than of your Life. Thefe Occafions are not
rare in our modern Camps; they open a fair Proſpect to
Preferment by giving Matter to Courage, and Merit to
work upon, and tho' we fall, it's in the Diſcharge of our
Duty; and fuch a Man may look this World in the Face,
and, what is more, the other too, if nothing elfe hinders.
To die in the Defence of our Poft is honourable in the
fight of Men, and of God alfo, if we refine our Motive,
and difpute our Ground out of a Point of Duty: Nay,
it's an eafy Paffage, tho' violent, for a Bullet or a Rapier
does our Buſineſs more gently than a Fever.
X.
If your Merit raifes you to the noble Degree of Gene-
ral, let your Zeal for your Prince fly as high as your Sta-
tion; Favours call for Gratitude, and a Subject can only
return this natural Duty by Service. Remember in the
firſt Place you are to act as a publick Perfon, and there-
fore no private Defign muft regulate your Conduct. The
Honour of a brave Action may carry you off, but your
Maſter muſt go away with the Profit.
High Pofts are intoxicating, they often fly up to the
Brain, and turn our Heads; they take away the Memo-
ry of our former State, and perfuade us we are not Men
fo foon as we become great. Tho' we are never fo big,
ſuch a Conceit makes us little, and gives a convincing
Proof, that our Judgment falls fhort of our Dignity. A-
las! thefe ornamental Privileges are but a decent Var-
nifls
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
1.93
nifh that lies on the Superficies; they are a Royal Im-
preffion ftampt upon us; but this changes not the Metal,
this gives no intrinfick Value, but either ſuppoſes Merit
or Favour: Beſides, fuch an over-weening Conceit of
your ſelf is a Mark of Pride. Now this, tho' practis'd by
all, is hated by every one, it tempts even thoſe who made
you great, to make you lefs, and draws your Friends to
be Enemies, it will alienate your Officers, and if you
have not their Hearts, you will want their Hands upon
Occafion. For whoever wifhes another lower, will en-
deavour to bring him down.
Beware of Rafhnefs; this is the Bane of Generals, yet
they eaſily flip into it, becauſe it often carries the Appear-
ance, and borrows the very Name of Courage; how-
ever, it's of another Race, and nothing allied to that Vir-
tue; the one deſcends in a direct Line from Prudence,
the other from Folly and Prefumption. Succefs feldom
waits on Temerity, twice I find it profperous and trium-
phant, in Afia under Alexander the Great, and in G. under
Aurelius the Firft, (as Curtius notes) by his Raſhneſs.
won an Empire, and the ſecond almoſt loft one. But
thefe Examples are rare, and the Captain that frames his
Conduct by theirs, fteers by Hazard, and will not likely
find Fortune fo favourable.
Go upon the fureft Method Prudence and Thought can
fuggeft; leave nothing, if poffible, to chance: It's true,
indeed you will not engage fo often, but then you will
feldomer be overcome. Now, methinks, it's wifer to keep
one's Ground, than out of Preſumption and Eagerness to
lofe it. Take therefore as fure Meaſures as if you put
no Confidence in Valour; but when you come to Action,
fight as if you trufted in your Sword alone. Courage
may be trepann'd, but feconded by Caution and Conduct,
it's invincible. But if Numbers over-top you, if Chance
out-wits Prudence, and Multitude bears down Virtue, in
fine, if you are forc'd to abandon the Field, and to leave
Victory behind, you may carry off your Honour un-
touch'd, and may ftand the Stroke of Satyr or Calumny
without a Bluſh.
Fortune is unftable, neither conftant to her Friends,
nor implacable to her Enemies, never long in the fame
Situation, never true to the fame Intereft, now on this
Side, now on that, but faithful to neither, and fufpected
by
194 A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
by all. You muſt therefore expect a Mixture of bad
and good Succefs, now Victory will perch on your Stan-
dards, now 'twill fly over to your Enemies; fometimes
you will conquer, and ſometimes you will be overcome.
Generals always march in a Circle of Profperity and
Misfortune; let not one fwell your Confidence too big,
nor the other ſhrink your Courage; neither prefume_nor
defpond; in the one State fear a Check, in the other hope
for an Advantage.
A Victory that intoxicates the Conqueror is more dan-
gerous than a Defeat, it difarms Caution, inftills Negli-
gence, and lulls us afleep with a traiterous Security ;
now whofoever lies under thefe Difadvantages, ftand at
the Mercy of an Enemy; and tho' he leads an Army of
Lions, 'twill be routed by another of Stags.
What loft U. M. at To. but this haughty Humour?
Succefs had turn'd his Brain, and difmounted his Rea-
fon; he fought a Battle, and won Applaufe, but tho' he
brought off U. M. he left the General behind. He was
no more the fame Man, his uſual Prudence abandon'd
him, the Vapours of Pride fmoak'd and fmother'd him
out of Counſel and Caution, fo that at To. he loft the Day
before the Fight began. Never any Man rang'd his Men
with lefs Judgment, nor took more difadvantageous
Ground; one Wing was unable to fuccour the other, the
Foot was of no fupport to the Horfe; one would have
thought he play'd Booty, and refolv'd to try the Chagrin
of a Defeat.
On the other fide, a Captain muft not fink under a
Misfortune: To fuppofe all loft, is a fhort way to lofe all
in earneſt. When Fortune is at a low Ebb, expect it will
foon flow, and when it frowns, hope it will quickly fmile.
The brave Duke Weymar receiv'd a difmal Check from
the Imperialifts, but tho' his Troops were overthrown, his
Heart was not overcome; nay, his Courage rofe with his
Fall, his Pulfe beat higher, and he refolv'd the next Day
to wash out the Difgrace of the former with the Blood of
his Conquerors: He kept his Word, and gain'd an intire
Victory, and Brifac, as the Price of Refolution: So that
the News of his Victory overtook that of his Lofs, and
his Glory pofted thro' Europe as fwift as his Misfortune.
Had he not lain under a Cloud, his Merits had fhined.
lefs; the Difgrace of the firft Day redoubled the Glory
of the fecond.
I hate
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 195
Ì hate thofe Generals who drill on Wars out of Pride
and Intereft; they may be good Soldiers, but cannot be
good Chriftians; they make the Intereſt of the Prince
truckle to their own, and facrifice the publick Tranqui-
lity to their private Ends. Provinces muft welter in
Blood, and Cities flame, to crowd your Anti-chamber
with Vifitants that fawn on your Dignity, not on your
Perfon; and are as ready to bow to your Lacquey, had
he a Commander's Staff, as to your felf. Muit People
groan under all the Pangs of Poverty to pay your Safe-
guards? And agonize under Hunger to furnish your Ta-
ble? That you may be neceffary to the State, the Sub-
ject must be fleec'd by Taxes, and Commerce fink to
raiſe your Fortune. Perchance fuch a Conduct may nick
with Policy, but it bids Defiance to the Gofpel. The
Marſhal de Byron was of this Humour; for when his Son
profecuted a Victory, Halt, cries he, have you a mind to
plant Cabbages at Byron? This Man had much of your
petty Surgeons, who never clofe a Patient's Wound, till
they have drain'd his Purfe. He had drawn much Chri-
ſtian Blood, and in the End fpilt his own in a Skirmiſh.
Believe me, Leander, it's more glorious to end a War
with Advantage, than to continue it with Bravery; and
I would more reſpect a General without Attendance in a
Hackney, that has oblig'd a Nation with a Peace, than
him who rides at the Head of an Army in Triumph, and
plunges it into an expenſive War.
This is a Summary of your Duty, and I could wiſh
our Soldiers would ſpend ſome cool and ferious Thoughts
upon the Subject; they would not, I am confident, fight
worſe, and might die better. How often have I pitied
the Blindneſs of our Men? they encounter'd Danger like
Lions, they fought like Heroes, and expir'd like Beafts;
they had no Concern for this Life, and no Thought of
the other; Ignorance had fo powerfully feized on their
Underſtanding, they quite forgot the Intereft of Eternity.
Ah, Leander, if you value not Life, be tender at leaſt of
your Soul, it was made for Glory, why will you give
it over to Torments?
Lean. Thefe Precepts, if obligatory, are very feaſon-
able; but our Officers will not eafily own they concern
the Camp; I am ſure they are not in uſe, and am apt to
think, they have been repeal'd by a Court-Marſhal, or are
O 2
fallen
196 A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
fallen by Preſcription. Nay, the Camp, as well as Black-
Fryars, is a privileg'd Ground, and as Mr. Hobbs main-
tain'd the Gofpel did not bind any Common-wealth till
receiv'd by the Magiftrate, fo fome are of Opinion it
muſt not come within a League of the Army, without a
Paſs-port from the General. Indeed, a red Coat feems to
exempt us from the Incumbrance of divine Precepts, for
we govern our Conduct not by the Civil, but wholly by
the Canon Law. Our Buſineſs is to make the moſt of
this Life, without any Thought of the future; we feed
high, till our Purfe runs low; we pamper Nature, and
drink down Reafon, dice away our Pay, and fend a File
of Curſes after it; and thus we level away one Part of
our Time, and blafpheme away the other, till a Bullet
or a Stab packs us away into the other World without
Warning, and, what is worſe, without Preparation.
Eufeb. Without Preparation do you fay? That's a Mi-
ftake; for you muſt know, our Men of War have voted
a Turkish Principle free Denizon of the Gofpel: Viz.
That whoever dies for his Prince, fuffers for Religion; this
Perfuafion I affure you gets Ground, and may in Time
be improv❜d to a fundamental Point of the Soldier's Re-
ligion. When I was in the Army, an Officer, the very
Scandal of the Camp, was wounded, he had no Senfe
of God, no Tincture of Religion, and his Life fquar'd
exactly with his Belief. Well, Tom, faid I to his Man,
How does thy Maſter?
He is in Reft, reply'd he.
In Reft, faid I, did he make his Peace with God?
No, anfwered Tom, he breathed out his Soul with a
Curfe. But he dy'd in the King's-Service.
In the King's Service, faid I, is that fufficient?
Sufficient, reply'd Tom, ay, my Life for yours: Why,
Sir, he died in the Bed of Honour. The Simplicity of
the Fellow forced me to fmile, and his Ignorance to weep.
He had heard his Betters preach this Doctrine, and he
efpous'd it without Examen; and indeed it's the Officer's
Intereft to fend it round, for if once it be well eſtabliſh'd,
Recruits will come in Shoals without beat of Drum, or
the Trouble of kidnapping: For, I affure you, good Pay,
Pleaſure, and Impunity, and Heaven in the Rear, are
powerful Attractives. Who would not venture a Stab,
or charge up to a Cannon's Mouth for fuch a crowd of
Advantages?
But
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
197
But, alas! Sir, when People fport with Religion, and
burleſque thofe Things they ſhould revere, it's a Sign
they have difcarded Principles, and are refolv'd to die
like the Beasts that perish.
Leand. Do you think Religion is banifh'd the Camp?
Why, Sir, I fear we have rather too much than too little.
Eufeb. The Camp is divided into two Bodies, yet
tho' they run different Ways they meet in the End. Some
are for all Religions, and then how can they be in the
wrong? Thofe Gentlemen's Church,like a Chedder-cheeſe,
is made of the Milk of one and twenty Pariſhes. Others
deny all Religion, and thoſe can hardly be in the Right;
yet after all, at the Bottom they are all Brethren, and of
the fame Communion. For Soldiers, in Tom's Divinity,
whoever they are, and whatever they are, provided they
ferve the King, are God's People, and the Wolves and
Sheep make up the fame Fold.
But, in good earneſt, Sir, fetting Raillery apart, thoſe
Notions of Religion are hideous; in a poor Brafilian they
move Pity and Compaffion, but I cannot hear an En-
glishman vent fuch Stuff without Indignation. Example
and Immorality have fpread the Contagion, why may
not the virtuous and regular Behaviour of Officers ftop
the Infection? Virtue, I believe, is catching, as well as
Vice, and as capable of being dilated by Example;
the Matter is of Concern, and deferves a Trial, and I
know no Man more qualified to begin the Experiment
than your felf: Your Poſt gives you Authority and Re-
fpect, and as it raifes you above the Crowd, fo it expo-
fes
your Actions to the View of the Publick, and if they
breathe Piety, the Perfume may reach and charm your In-
feriors; and if once they gain fo far as to be approv'd,
Imitation follows; for the Paflage from one to the other
is fhort and eaſy.
Leand. I will endeavour to live up to the Principles
of Religion, and to wash out the Stains of my former
Life by a thorow Reformation. I will countenance Vir-
tue, and keep under Difcipline the publick Profeffors of
Impiety, and proclaim Regularity the Way to Promo-
tion in my Regiment.
Eufeb. If you can draw over to your Refolution the
great Officers of the Army, the Method will take. Con-
demn Debaucheryjonce or twice to the Gauntlet,and'twill
4
оз
fculk
198 A SUPPLEMENT to the firft Part
fculk in the dark, and withdraw to Privacy, for who
will dare to abet it in Publick, when he knows he ſhall
be mark'd with Infamy, and feel the juft Indignation of
his Officer? And then if Goodneſs be rewarded in this
World, as well as in the other; if there be no way to
rife but by Virtue, and he be the higheſt in the General's
Favour, who is moft in God's, Men will carry on their
Pretenfions not by Blufter or Blafphemy,but by the more
warrantable Methods of Piety. They will make Good-
nefs the Step to Greatneſs, and deferve a Commiffion be-
fore they have it. Nay, I dare promife Succefs to all
your Enterprizes, if once the Army be modell'd by Vir-
tue; for belides, that God watches over his Friends, and
takes 'em under his Protection; Vice is a Coward, and
no Man dares look Death in the Face, that fears to be
damned. But Virtue that dreads nothing in the next
World, fears nothing in this but Sin.
I wiſh you Succeſs, and altho' your Deſign miſcarries,
the Undertaking is heroical; for it's more noble to ſtorm
Impiety, than to carry a Town, and I had rather bring
a Regiment to the Service of God, than force a Province
to the Obedience of a Prince. You must expect Oppo-
fition, for Vice is ftubborn, and lofes Ground by Inches.
Nothing but Force and Conftancy can gain upon it,
Fleſh and Blood will ftrike in with it, Cuftom and Exam-
ple will go over to the fame Intereft; but if you bear up
with Refolution, if you carry on the Attack with Cou-
rage, and flag not in the Execution, the Advantage will
lie on your Side; and tho' the Victory be not compleat,
the Glory of the Action will. Well, Sir, continued Eu-
febius with a Smile, we have taken a fufficient View of
the Camp, it's Time now to return to Court.
Lean. I wait upon you, and fhall be glad of your
Company; for tho' the Queen has been pleas'd to favour
me lately with an Office, yet I am unacquainted with
the Ground, and a meer Ignoramus in the Ceremonial of
Behaviour. I fear fometimes to be too much for Cere-
mony, fometimes too little, and that I drop Smiles when
I fhould let fall a Frown.
DIA
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
199
DIALOGUE IX.
Eufebius inftructs Leander in the Duties of a Courtier.
Eufeb.THE Court has been the Subject of a thouſand
ΤΗ
Satyrs, and the Theme of as many Panegy-
ricks; and if Invective has mifreprefented it on the one
Hand, Flattery has over-flouriſh'd it on the other. If
we believe thofe, like the Sea, it's in a perpetual Moti-
on, and as infamous for Shipwrecks, as Sylla and Cha-
rybdis; it's a kind of a Turkijh Marmora inhabited by
Slaves, who have loft their Wits with their Liberty, and
hug their Chains becauſe they glitter: In fine, it's the
Palace of Vice, the Seat of Mifery; and if by Chance
Virtue fhews it's Face, it's only faluted with Sarcaſm and
Raillery.
But if we credit its Admirers, Lord how the Chara-
Eter varies! one would think Men could not draw fo
different Features in the fame Face. Thofe Gentlemen
reprefent it with another Air; every Stroak marks Great-
nefs, every Daſh of the Pencil Majefty, and Charm; it's
a Commonwealth (like that of the Romans) compos'd of
Grandeur and Merit. The first-rate Officers are Princes,
and the loweſt Knights at leaft. The Air, like that of
Ireland, is mortal to Toads and Spiders. Nothing that
diſobliges the Eye, or grates upon the Ear, or ruffles the
Senfes, can país the Porter's Lodge. Care, Sollicitude,
and Melancholy have no Accefs, and thofe Misfortunes
that wait on other People, fly from Courtiers, ſo that
they only know Miferies by others Ruin. In fine, in one
Man's Fancy the Court is a Hell, in another's a Hea-
We are miſerable in it if we believe fome, and can-
not be happy out of it, if we credit others.
ven.
But with Submiffion, all are miſtaken, fome throw too
much Dirt upon the Court, others too much Luftre
fome paint it too black, others too white, and they are
no leſs guilty who magnify its Faults, than thoſe who
enlarge beyond meaſure upon its Perfections. For, in a
Word, the Court is not all Guilt, nor all Innocence; it's
ſtain'd with great Vices, and adorn'd with great Virtues;
it teaches to live well, and tempts to do ill. Some make
04
in
200 A SUPPLEMENT to the firft Part
; in
in it great Fortunes, and others Ruin greater. There is
Pleaſure, and there is Pain, Glory and Reproach, Hope
lodges in one Appartment, and Deſpair in another
fine, it's a Soil over-run with Poiſons, and fertile in
Antidotes: So that a Man muft ftand upon his Guard,
and walk with Referve and Caution. He muſt beware
of a treacherous Confidence, and arm himſelf againſt à
cowardly Pufillanimity. I doubt not, Sir, but you have
examin'd the Map of this new World, and made a Pro-
vifion of Neceffaries for your Voyage; you are embark'd
for the Temple of Honour, the Road is intricate, and
beſet with Dangers, the Journey long.
Leand. I have, God be thank'd, the Education of the
Univerfity and Academy; I handle my Sword not ill;
Corelli has taught me to play, and Abel to fing; and be-
fides, I am a Gentleman: Thefe Advantages fuit with my
Circumſtances, and I prefume they will in Time improve
my Fortune, and raiſe me to the Poft of Honour.
Eufeb. Nay, Sir, your Equipage is glorious, you havẹ
laid in with Profufion for your Journey, and if you mif-
carry, Fortune alone muft bear the Blame of the Difap-
pointment. A Man that pleads for Preferment with Ef
cutcheon and Title, with the Sword in one Hand, and fuch
Accompliſhments in the other, muft undoubtedly carry the
Suit: For here are Arguments of all Complexions; fome
are tipt with Authority, others flafh Terror, and fome
again fhoot Charms. Now unleſs her Majeſty's Breaſt
be faced with Steel, fhe will yield to fuch battering En-
gines, and never difpute the conferring of a Dignity
courted with ſo much Bravery, and woo'd with ſo much
Harmony and Sweetneſs.
But for all that, Sir, I would counſel you to procure
more proper Inftruments to work with, for I fear theſe
will not do. I have known Gentlemen well born wait
at Court the moving of the Waters ſeven long Winters,
and yet they fared no better than the lame Man in the
Goſpel, fome Body always ſtepp'd before 'em ; ſo that they
were forc❜d to retreat into the Country with a light Purſe,
and a heavy Heart, and to rig out their leaky Veffel for..
a new Voyage; and tho' you are a Mafter at your Ra-
pier, you muſt not build too much upon this Advantage;
for tho' it may be of Ufe in the Field, it's of none in the
Court: Men do not tilt themſelves into Pofts in our Age,
>
nor
1
201
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
nor hew and hack out Fortunes like Knights-Errant in
Romances. Your Scowrers look well in Taverns, and
have ſome Repute at the Play-houfe, but none in Court;
here People are for fleeping in a whole Skin, and for fpin-
ning out the Thread of Life to the laſt Extent of Nature:
They'll not hazard a fingle Pulfe, but upon good Caution,
and extraordinary Payment; in fine, Sir, they are of Opi-
nion, that a Sword hangs more conveniently by the Side,
than in the Lungs.
Mufick indeed is a pretty Accompliſhment, and had
you the Touch of old Timotheus, I would be bound for
your Advancement; for this Artiſt tied Alexander's Paf-
fions to his Fingers end, he could play the Conquerour
into the Tranſports of Hercules furens, and then take him
down in a Moment. Now had you fuch a commanding
Stroke, I conceive you might play, or fing your felf into
her Majefty's Favour; but the Secret is loft, or few im-
prove to this Pitch of Perfection; for tho' we have a Lift
of thoſe who have riſen by the Law, I cannot find one,
who owes his Title to the Fiddle, or the Voice. Some-
times indeed a Man may play his Way to an Heiress's
Heart, but thefe Adventures are rare, and it's hard to
chop upon the Dorion that will find the Way from the
Tympanum to the Soul; for tho' the Cut be fhort, it's in-
tricate, and the Harmony faints in the Paffage.
Leand. Pray, Sir, appoint me Tools to work with.
Eufeb. Lay in a good Provifion of Humility, furniſh-
your felf with Patience for feven Years, at leaft, and for-
get not a competent Stock of Affurance.
Leand. You are upon a Vein of Banter, or have a
Mind to divert me. Why, Sir, I would as foon appear
at Court in my Grand-father's Ruff, or trunk Hofe, as in
this outlandish Equipage. Indeed Affurance is the proper
Growth of the Court Soil, it thrives there to Admira-
tion; but Humility and Patience require another Climate.
Eufeb. There is no Banter, no Pleafantry in the Cafe.
I am upon a ferious Pin, and counfel you again to pro-
vide your ſelf with Humility and Patience; nay, an or-
dinary Pittance, let me tell you, will not carry you
through; you muſt bid fair for the Humility of Paul, and
aim at the Patience of Job, without thefe Inftruments you
will never beat out a Fortune, you will fink in the Enter-
prize, and after a feven Years Jaunt, find your felf in the
Place you fet out,
Leand.
202
A SUPPLEMENT to the firft Part
Lean. A Reafon if you pleaſe. My Lord L. ſtands in
a high Poſt, and makes a fluttering Figure, yet I never
heard he was a great Pretender to Humility; nay, I am
inform'd he is Pride in Life, and Vanity in Perfon; he
keeps no Correſpondence with his Friends, and, as if he
had taken a Morning's Draught of Lethe, remembers the
paſt no more than he forefees the future; to conclude, he
is within an Ace of forgetting his Family, and if he ſteps
a Peg higher, he will certainly forget himſelf.
And then why fhould Patience be fo neceflary for me?
Has not K. bore all before him without it? This little
Muſtard-Seed is grown up into a Tree, and gives Cover
and Protection to twenty fmall Infects, that in good
Time may return Ingratitude for the Favour. Now this
Gentleman is not only void of Patience, but even of all
Pretenfions to it, a meer Weather-Cock, that looks Eaſt
and Weſt in a Moment, and turns Tail to all the Points in
the Compaſs; he is ſo far from executing a noble Deſign,
that he has not the Patience to lay one; and this fickle
Distemper has got fo furprifing an Afcendant over him,
that he will not even take the Pains to think. But if you
take Patience for a Virtue, that enables a Man to fuffer
Contrarieties with Calmnefs, and Equality of Temper,
he is a meer Stranger to it, and as unacquainted as with
the great Mogul, or Preftor John. A Gnat by Chance
tickled his Cheek, the Man flew out into all the Extra-
vagances of Paffion, he fell upon the poor Infect's Family
with all the Heat of Rage and Anger; he rogued and
raſcal'd the innocent Animal, and then Son-of-a-whor'd
it like a Scavinger; and tho' I endeavour'd to difcourfe
down the Fogue, and to philofophize the Gentleman into
Terms of Moderation, his Choler was too hard for Argu-
ments, till he feized on the Criminal, and condemn'd it
for a Mute to the Prefs. Nor was he more bearing with
his own Species, I have feen him fwagger at a Footman
for faying he was at Home, and brow-beat his Porter for
faying he was not; he acted always by Contraries, ſa
that fome thought his Pleaſure was to be difpleas'd, and
that he never was in Humour but when he was out of it.
Now fuch a Behaviour looks as if he was conſcious of
his own Demerits, and that he had nothing but Outfide
and Clamour, and bad Nature to make him confiderable.
Yet this Man has out-ftript his Neighbours, and left 'em
out
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
203
out of Sight, he tumbles no more on the low Ropes, but
vaults on the high; and tho' he was once below Con-
tempt, he may fhortly foar above Envy.
Eufeb. One Swallow makes no Summer, and one Inſtance
will not bear an univerfal Inference. Such Conclufions
are not to be truſted, we are in an Age of Diſcoveries on
Land as well as by Sea, and if a few have ſteer'd thro' a
North-Eaſt Paffage, i. e. a fhorter cut to Preferment,
others muſt double the Cape of Good Hope; this is the
beaten Road, and tho' it be longeſt, it's the moſt ſecure
way to Honour. Once more therefore, let me adviſe
you to lay in a good Fund of Humility and Patience.
Lean. I cannot yet be convinc'd of the Neceffity of this
Provifion; nay, methinks I may jog fairly on without it.
Eufeb. Not convinc'd? Pray attend; muft you not
fawn on this Favourite, and bow to the other? Muft not
you fly to his Levee, and make as many apiſh Cringes as
a French Dancing-Maſter to this Rifing-Sun? Nay, with
the old Perfians, you muſt commence Idolaters, and in-
cenſe this glaring Planet with all the Perfumes of Flat-
tery and Affectation. You muſt place his Courage above
Alexander's, his Conduct above Cafar's, and his Policy
above the greateſt Minifters of State. You muſt eſpouſe
his Sentiments, humour his Inclinations, excufe his
Vices, magnify his Virtues, and turn all his Follies into
Apothegms; for you muſt wind your felf into his Fa-
vour before you can enter into Service, and become his
Slave to pretend to be his Creature. Nay, you muſt
creep to Valet de Chambres, fee Pages, and bend to Com-
mis, who have nothing confiderable but an Office, no-
thing great but Pride and Brutality.
In a certain Court, I had the Fortune to be acquaint-
ed with a Duke; he defired my Company to a Mini-
ſter of State upon Buſineſs, but the Babaw was indifpos'd,
i. e. not to be accofted; however out comes a petty Scri-
vener with a Pen in his Ear (or to ſpeak in the Court
Dialect) an under Secretary; the Gentleman was fo
ftarcht, fo formal, and fo fupercilious, that I mistook
him for the Mafter. His Grace faluted him to the Ground,
and in a Moment run through all the Difcipline of a
Dancing School, he plied the Commis with Vollies of
Compliments, out comes first tres humble, tres obedi'ant
treads upon the Heels of the former, and Valet leads up
the
204
A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
the Rear. Office, I affure you, overtopt Grace; and the
Pen had the Advantage of the Sword. The Muſhroom
ftood on Tiptoe, and returned Monfieur le Duc this fhort
Oracle, On fongera a votre Affaire. The Promiſe called
for an Acknowledgment, and the noble Peer paid it with
Profufion and Intereft. He ftoopt fo low, that at laſt I
apprehended he was laying down his Cordon Blue for a
Livery. At our Return, Well, Monfieur, faid I, Au-
diences run high in this Country, and Promiſes are tax'd
at unconſcionable Rates: Pretendants are put under ex-
ceffive Contribution, and you muſt regard Intereſt above
Honour, why elſe do you proſtitute Quality to ſo vile
a Wretch? For my part, I think, you have purchaſed his
Favour, and were I in your Circumftances, I would ne-
ver defcend fo low to foar higher. No, Sir, I fcorn to
trample on a Peafant, and as much to fneak to a Sultan.
My Duke lafht at an extravagant Rate the Pride of that
Vermin, and fwore he would fit on his Skirts; he alledg'd
for his Excufe, Cuftom, and palliated his Submiffion with
the Neceffity of his Affairs. This put me in Mind of
what Cyprian fays to Donatus. Behold that Courtier; how
be fits in Scarlet? Did you but know how many Submiffions
unworthy of his Rank it has coft him? How many Affronts?
How often he has befieged the Gates of Favourites, and run
before the Coaches of disdainful Princes; you would rather
pity his Perfon, than envy his Fortune? In fine, Leander,
you muſt take it as a Poftulatum, that honourable Poſts
are not entail'd on Merit, that many Perſons well fur-
nifh'd for Employment, go out of the World as obfcure-
ly as they came in, merely, becauſe they will not make
themſelves leſs to become greater, nor defcend below
the level of Gentlemen to obtain a Patent of Peerage.
You may learn by this, that Courtiers are Gens fervi-
tuti nata, as well as the Romans in Tiberius's Time. Tho'
they maintain their Dignity with Haughtinefs and Em-
pire, they purchaſe it with Condefcenfion and Submif
fion; and that tho' they are proud to Exceſs, when their
Babel is built, they are humble beyond Meaſure, when
they provide Materials to rear in.
It's a fuperfluous Piece of Labour to prove the Ne-
ceffity of Patience, the Matter is beyond Diſpute, and
as clear as Experience and Fact can make it. You re-
member the Anfwer an old French Courtier return'd a
Youngster,
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
205
Youngster, who was very inquifitive to know how he
fhould behave himſelf at Verfailles. Receive, faid he,
daily Injuries with Indifference, and pay Affronts with
Thanks: You muſt practiſe this Leffon if you intend to
thrive: for as I have told you, Merit and Reward go not
always together, one would think fome blind Deity in-
fluenc'd the Court, and that all things were manag'd by
Hazard or Partiality; you will fee a Man of Parts turn'd
over to the Kitchen,and a Fop fneak into the Bed-chamber;
a Man of Brains fhall be dubb'd a Fool, and my Lord
Littlewit call'd to the Counfel; one kick'd out of Play be-
cauſe he is Loyal, and another taken into Favour becauſe
he is a Traitor, in fine, one fhall make his Fortune at
his first Appearance, and another fhall ruin his by conti-
nual Waiting. Now will not fuch Proceedings put the
moſt maſculine Patience to the Trial? And muft not his
Humour be very paffive or infenfible, that is thus pafs'd
by without Regard? This may be your Cafe, Sir; for
altho' you plead Nobility, Breeding, and Deferts, you
will founder, unleſs Recommendation, Favour, and Ca-
price alfo help you forward. I omit perfonal Affronts
without End, and Incivilities without Number; theſe
Ragoufts lie hard on a Gentleman's Stomach, and nothing
can carry 'em off but a tried Patience.
Leand. Seeing Promotion goes fo much upon theſe
Virtues, what if I ſhould make a turn into Flanders, and
take up my Winter Quarters with the Capucins? I fancy
their courfe Habit and Fare would tame Nature, and
drudge all my Paffions into Diſcipline and Obedience.
Eufeb. You need not pass the Sea for Abaſements, nor
expoſe your Perfon to be convey'd to Dunkirk Priſons,
to find Materials for Patience to work upon; Occafions
lodge under your own Roof, and you meet them daily at
St. James's in the Anti-chamber: The Court reads Leffons
of Humility and Patience, as well as the Convent, and
provides more frequent Opportunities for Practice: Op-
portunities, I fay able to make Saints, nay, Martyrs,
did you but take the Pains to fuffer like Chriftians, and'
not like the damn'd with all the Pangs of Blafphemy and
Defpair; but by Mifapplication you undergo all the
Toil of Virtue without tafting of Pleafure, you grafp
at Shadows, and hold nothing but Wind and Vapour.
'The Crofs of the bad Thief is your Lot in this World,
and
206 A SUPPLEMENT to the firft Part
and God ſend the Brimstone of the rich Man be not your
Inheritance in the next.
Lean. I am but a Stranger to the Court, and have
not made a full Difcovery of the Country; however, I
perceive Men paint as well as Ladies, that the outfide
has no Reſemblance with the Infide, that when Joys flows
on the Face, Grief, Rage and Deſpair often prey on the
Heart, and that the Soul hangs on Racks, tho' the Bo-
dy lies ſtretch'd on Down; when many Pretenfions meet
in the fame Point, Affections vary, and becauſe one car-
ries off the Prize, twenty go away with Difappointment
and Mortification; and fuch Occafions offer themſelves
fo frequently, and they imprint fo lively a Senſation,
that Nature muft fink under the Torment, unleſs an un-
uſual Indolence, or an extraordinary Patience ſupport it.
So that I am of your Opinion, that Virtue is the beft
Qualification for a Courtier; this alone fweetens the Vi-
ciffitudes of bad Fortune, and allays the intoxicating Va-
pours of good; it keeps us in an equal Temper, and
teaches us to gain by our Loffes; and tho' it permits us to
be unhappy, it hinders us from being miſerable. But if
you pleafe, Sir, ftand off no longer in Generals: Favour
me with fome particular Maxims, that immediately re-
gard my Conduct.
Eufeb. Let your Pretenfions be Chriſtian, and your
Meaſures juft; leave not Confcience for a genteel Em-
ployment, nor charge thro' thick and thin for the fake.
of Money or Honour. To refign Innocence for an Of-
fice, is to fet too great a Value upon the one, and to
under-rate the other. Start fair, and carry on the Con-
teft with Generofity, and never way-lay a Rival in the
dark, nor trepan him by the unmanly Methods of Trea-
chery, Calumny, or Detraction: Such a Conduct is as
bafe as it's finful, and favours more of the Turk than of
the Chriſtian; it's a Mark you fear more his Merit than
you rely on your own, and that you defpair to carry
the Poft, if you put the Succefs to the iffue of Worth.
Alexander fcorn'd to ſteal a Victory by Surprize or Stra-
tagem, he diſputed it with the Sword at mid-day, and
chofe rather to hazard an Empire in the fight of the
Sun, than to fubdue twenty in the dark; in fine, he
would have Valour wear the Crown, not Cowardice;
and refuſed to be greater than Darius, unless he were alſo
more
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 207
more deferving: This was a noble Emulation, hazard-
ous indeed, but handfome; here was nothing mean,
nothing infidious, but all Gallantry and good Nature.
Follow this Model, ftrive to raiſe your felf by thofe
Means honefty dares own, take not one Step that looks
like Undermining or Circumvention, and apply no In-
ſtrument that ſhines not true upon the Touchſtone of
Honour and Confcience.
II.
Keep your Pretenfions within Compafs, fuffer 'em not
to mount too high; if you give Ambition the Rein, 'twill
carry you too far, and may let you down in a Precipice:
Too much Sail overfets a fhip, the Canvas muſt be
proportioned to the Veffel: Some People's Parts are
drawn leſs than others, they are not caft in the fame
Mould, their Capacities are not large enough to hold
a great Preferment, and the very Attempt lays open their
Inabilities, and demonftrates their Temerity out-fhoots
their Prudence, and that their Strength bears no Propor-
tion with their Prefumption; and when a young Gentle-
man fets out under fuch a Difadvantage, it's odds he'll
founder before he comes to his Journey's End. The Bold-
nefs of the Enterprize will awake the Jealoufy of a hun-
dred Pretendants, and when this Fury takes the Cam-
paign waited on by Power and Numbers, who can ex-
pect to go on with Succefs, or even to retreat with Safe-
ty? One rallies your Wit, another your Judgment; this
Man falls upon your Courage, that upon your Honefty:
Now when fo many draw fuch a diſadvantageous Cha-
racter of a Gentleman, the Draught will raiſe in a Prince
ill-favour'd Impreffions, and rather prompt to diſcard
than to promote him; for Princes have all the fpecifick
Weakneffes of their Subjects, they are made up of the
fame Matter, and follow the fame Biafs of Nature; they
believe Evil of a Man rather than Good, and when they
are well fettled in their Opinion, there is no removing
'em. In a Word, who courts Preferment walks on flip-
pery Ground; it's his Bufinefs to fence againſt Rubs,
and not to tempt People to croſs his Way, or to trip him
up in the Career.
Aim firft at a lower Station, and let it fute with your
Genius. I would not have a Man that can't count Twenty
lay in for a Place in the Exchequer,nor an Ignoramus at
his
208
A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
his Pen for a Station in the Secretary's Office. Mr. T
in Yorkshire, who never look'd over the Limits of the
County, nor rode more Southward than Pomfret, ſhould
not fue for Credentials to the French Court; nor Mr. L.
who could never Mafter As in præfenti, for a Place in
the Bench at Westminster-Hall. A Man that puts in for
an Office fo difproportion'd to his Capacity is unfit for
any, and I would rather condemn him to withdraw
twenty Miles from London, than perfuade him to fhew
his Face in Court. Confult your Abilities; and when
you are got into a fit Poſt, exert your Spirits, and try to
make the moſt of your felf; apply Care and Diligence,
and ſtudy more your Mafter's Intereft than your own.
If you diſcharge your Duty with Satisfaction and Ap-
plaufe, you may look higher without Envy, for in fuch
Cafes People rather commend the Merit, than Repine
at the Succefs, eſpecially if the Advantage be managed
with Civility and Moderation; but if you launch out
into Conceit and Arrogance, if you fly into Oftentation,
and ſpurn at thoſe you leave behind, all is fpoiled; for
all the Worth of Sir Thomas Moor, or of a Boetius, will
never protect Pride, nor fence ill Nature; but when you
make uſe of your Exaltation to oblige, when you look no
bigger in the higheſt Station than in the loweft, you ſtand
fecure, and will have, if not the Hand, at leaſt, the good
Wiſhes of Hundreds to fupport you.
III.
A middle Station is the beſt, becauſe the moſt ſecure ;
it diſtinguiſhes enough from the Crowd, it entitles to
Refpect, and allows Neceffaries for Decency and Plea-
fure. Now methinks nothing is wanting to compleat a
Man's Happineſs thus furnifh'd, but a Senfe of his Cir-
cumſtances, i. e. that he ſhines in his own Orb, tho' it
be not the higheſt; that he is ſo far confiderable as to
fecure Repute; that he is eafy at Home, and fears no
Storm from Abroad; in fine, that he has enough, and
cannot poffibly enjoy all.
But the Miſchief is, we are of a foaring Humour, and
in fpight of Diffuafives will climb fo high till our Heads
turn, and we leave our Brains on the Pavement. Â
Soldier is upon the Strain to be General, a Seaman to
ride Admiral, a Lawyer and a Parfon to fit at the Head
of
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
209
of Justice and Religion, and a Courtier to be a Favourite.
Aut Čafar aut nullus is our Motto, all or nothing. Each
Man looks upon his fingle felf as a Detachment from the
main Body of Mankind, and the Proprietor of all that is
Great and Pleafing; we are upon the Spur till we come
to the Land's End, i. e. the laſt Point of Promotion.
Now what is all this but Covetouſneſs on the one Hand,
and Pride on the other? Two Paffions never to be fatis-
fied, and yet always obey'd.
It's certain the Quality of Privado is very confiderable,
and though it does not always command Efteem, it calls
for Reſpect few Courtiers dare pretend for the Place, yet
all wifh for the Honour; and we are fo kind to our
felves, as to think a Prince's Affection as reaſonably plac'd
on us, as on our Neighbour, and we fail not to blame his
Choice, if it falls not upon our Perſon.
Yet tho' the Title be in the general Efteem ſo valua-
ble, I adviſe you to quit all Pretenfions to the Favour;
level your Expectation at a lower Mark, unleſs you in-
tend to ſtand on Record a fad Inftance of the Inftability
of human Greatnefs; turn over the Tranfactions of paft
Ages, and you will find not one Favourite of a thouſand,
whofe End was not more amazing than his Greatneſs;
the fame Princes that fet 'em up, took Pleaſure in pulling
'em down, and were no lefs extravagant in their Cruel-
ty, than in their Kindneſs. Amon look'd down from the
top of his Glory upon his Fellow-Subjects with Difdain,
and Contempt, but this bright Sun fet in a Cloud of In-
famy, and turn'd his Rival's Envy into Compaffion. Ti-
berius bore the Title of Emperor, Sejanus all the Power,
the proud Senate bow'd to his Statues, fwore by his For-
tune, and his Commands were as facred as the twelve
Tables: Yet when the Prince's Affections chopt into ano-
ther Corner, this Coloffus fell to the Ground, and buried
all his Creatures under the Ruins of his Catastrophe.
Our Gaveftons, Spencers, Wolfeys, &c. teach us by their
Difafters, that the Favour of Princes is not Proof againft
Misfortune; that it can arreft a Favourite within the Pre-
cinct of the Court, and draw him from the Bed-chamber
to the Scaffold. I could fingle out forty more Inftances.
of a refher Date, and fome domeftick too, but theſe
fuffice to caution againſt too great Intimacy with Sove-
reigns, which is feldom purchafed without the fate of
Р
Liberty,
210 A SUPPLEMENT to the firft Part
Liberty, and never continued without Danger of Body
or Soul, and too often of both.
The Reafon is clear; for firft, as Princes often love
without Cauſe, ſo they hate without Provocation; they
are led by Caprice, and fway'd by Fancy, and by Confe-
quence are only conftant in Change. Fancy is never long
lived; a Word, a Look, a Surmife nips off the moſt fa-
vourable Impreffion, and turns the moſt charming Ob-
jects into a Monſter; hence it comes, that Men run from
Dotage to Difguft in an Inftant, and are as unable to give
a tolerable Account of their Love as of their Averfion, a
meer je ne sçay quoy kindles Kindneſs, and a je ne ſçay
quoy congeals it; to Day freedom pleafes, to Morrow
you muſt ſtand off in Reſpect and Reſervedneſs. In fine,
an Ephæftion will have Employment enough to carry an
even Hand between the Emperor and Alexander, and
to diſcharge the Duties of Familiarity without making
too bold with Majefty, for the fame Man is both Friend
and Prince. Now one must have a very Metaphyfical
Genius to ſeparate theſe two Relations fo as to be free
with the Friend, without coming too near the Monarch;
and yet too much on the one fide, or too little on the
other ruins all.
Secondly, Not one of ten thouſand are qualified for
fuch a Poft; he muſt have the Prudence of a Solomon, the
Craft of an Achitophel, the Courage of a Cefar, the Mode-
ration of a Fabricius, and befides the Felicity of Sylla;
he muft oblige all Men no lefs when he denies than when
he confers a Favour, and take care to make no Enemies
on the one Side, whilſt he makes Friends on the other
for Enmity is more clamorous and active than Friendſhip,
and a fuppos'd Injury finks deeper than a real Benefit.
Am not I of the fame Maßs with T. L. cries one? Why
then ſhould he lord it over me? Where Natures are the
fame, Diſtinction of Privilege is unjuft. Why is one
Individual of the fame kind ftamp'd with Honour, and
the other with Infamy? This Complaint firft ftarted in a
Corner is banded from one to another, till it breaks In-
cloſure, and appears in publick, and you may be fure it
receives ſome exafperating Stroaks in the Journey; and
when People are warm'd, Cabals and Contrivances fol-
low, all the Miſcarriages in Church and State are put on
the Favourite's Account. The very Tempefts, Plagues,
and
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
211
and Famines are clap'd at his Door, and like the primitive
Chriftians he is mark'd out as the publick Nuifance of
Mankind. He fets the Prince at variance with his People;
be obftructs the fitting of Parliaments; abets Popery and
Arbitrary Government; and then his Majefty is defir'd to
remove T. L. from his Perfon and Counſel, to ſtrip him
of his Titles, and to deliver him up to the Juftice of the
Rabble. My Gentleman knocks off, and like the Ser-
pent, expoſes his Tail to fave the Head; i. e. drops his
Titles, Offices, and Greatnefs, and gives up his Favourite-
Thip with all its Appurtenances to fave his Skin; away
packs he into the Country, leaving behind a thouſand
Curfes upon the Court. The Anguiſh of his Misfor-
tunes puts him in the Wheel, and he always works upon
his own Difquiet, pitied by fome, and ſcorn'd by others,
like Vipers, he lives on his own Poifon; and tho' he wants
Power to execute Miſchief, he has Malice enough to
contrive it: So that he is made up of Impotence and
Malice, and where thofe difconfolate Qualities are well
blended, all other Ingredients of Mifery are fuperfluous.
This is the end of Favourites, and the moft favourable
they can expect, tho' not the moft unfortunate they may
fear; for alas! they are not always fo happy as to re-
ceive Quarter: No, no, they quit the Court to take up
in a Dungeon, and act the laſt Scene of their Lives up-
on a Scaffold; nay, and it's a Favour too to change the
Halter into a Hatchet.
. Check therefore Ambition, and give it not too much
Line; court rather what is handſome than great, and
ſtudy more Convenience than Grandeur. Deferve the
firſt Place in your Prince's Efteem, but let others run a-
way with his Affection; though you fparkle lefs, your
Value will be greater; to rife to a moderate Station by
meer Merit, is more noble than to poffefs the higheſt by
Favour and Partiality.
IV.
Great Men need Supporters, and prudent Men will
provide them; Subftantives are out of Fafhion in Court,
moft walk there on Crutches, and few can even ſtand
on their own Legs. Lay therefore in for Countenance;
without Stays the beſt built Fortune will tumble: How-
ever fell not Favours by Inch of Candle; there is no de-
pending on bought Friendſhip, when a Man has paid for
P 2
his
212
A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
his Preferment he is not in your Debt, but owns the
Obligation to his Attendance, Importunity, or Purſe,
and though (to get a good Pennyworth) he may fwear
Fidelity, and offer his Service, be affured he will follow
the Impulfe of Intereft, and leave you in the Lurch up-
on Danger and Diſtreſs.
Beware of a Court Maxim. Provide for your Enemies,
Friends will never flinch. The Principle is neither con-
formable to the Rules of Policy, nor Juftice; it cuts
upon good Nature, and Gratitude, and has no Support
but Practice. Shall a Man thrive by Roguery, and be
the better for Villainy? He has noos'd me into a Plot by
Forgery and Subornation, and fhall I ftretch my Credit
to fwell his Fortune? Perchance he has met his King in
the Field, and promiſed to make him a glorious Prince
by feizing his Towns, and fettering his Perfon, and ſhall
I perfuade his Majefty to give him a White Staff for the
Service? In fine, he is dipp'd in Treafon, and over Head
in Miſchief, and now must be bought off, and incenfed
by his Sovereign, as the Devil is by the Indians, that he
may do no more Harm. Such a Conduct is an Invita-
tion to Difloyalty and Treafon, it encourages Vice,
and plunges Virtue into Defpair. Who will ſtand up for
his Prince's juft Prerogative at the Expence of his For-
tune, when he may draw upon it with Safety and Profit?
If Honefty be requir'd with Poverty, and Knavery
with Wealth; if Loyalty go out at Elbows, and
Treafon glitters in Gold-lace, I fear Knights of the Poft
will multiply upon the Nation, and Round-heads may
once more vie Numbers with Cavaliers. I would not
outrage where I fhould reward, nor reward where I
fhould puniſh.
Lean. Spare me a Word, left I loſe the Opportunity
of a Queſtion. Why may I not win an Enemy?
Eufeb. You mean, I fuppofe, buy a Friend? Becauſe
whofoever deferts his Party for Gain, will certainly_re-
turn when Intereft calls upon him: If the Senſe of Du-
ty and Confcience are not able to reclaim a Delinquent,
will Title work a real Converfion? No, no, Sir, thoſe
Cattle fly in the Face of a Benefit, their Organs are fo
ill fhap'd they cannot feel any thing that's generous and
noble; they always follow the loudeft Cry, and tack a-
bout with the Wind of Intereft: So long as you are
too
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
213
too powerful to need Help, he fhall ftand by you, but if
you begin to retreat, he will fall upon the Rear, and
charge your ftraggling Forces thro' a thouſand Favours.
It's a Poftulatum among thofe Infidels, that it's worſe to
fink with a Friend, than to fwim with an Enemy, and
therefore like Rats before a Storm, they abandon a leaky
Veffel, and fwim for Safety to the Shoar. To be ſhort,
thoſe Men will ply down the Stream, and fide with Suc-
ceſs in Defiance of Juftice; they will never crofs upon a
prevailing Crime, nor oppofe Miſchiefs carried on by
Numbers; their Bufinefs is to ftand, though their Friend.
or Prince falls, and to make a Fortune out of the Ruins
of their Neighbours or Country. Keep therefore your
Enemies low, they will do no Harm, when they are too
weak to attempt it, their Impotence is your beft Guard;
Power in the Hands of a Mercenary is ill placed. I had
rather fee an Enemy unable to do me a bad Turn, than
in a Condition to do me a good one.
Lean. At leaſt a Rebel or private Enemy may poffibly
be obliged by Preferment, and it's certain a Friend will
venture a broken Head to refcue bis Honesty, and rather re-
ſign his Eſtate than his Fidelity.
Eufeb. Conclufions drawn out of Poffibilities are not
to be relied on, they plead for both fides, and by Confe-
quence neither Advantage nor Prejudice either. An ill
Man may be fee'd into your Intereft, as well as Lawyers;
but then as thofe Gentlemen upon a fairer Profpect of
Gain fhift Sides, he may relapfe at the Approach of
Temptation, and fall into the old Diſeaſe of Ingrati-
tude, and Infidelity: Face therefore one Poffibility with
the other, and perchance you may conclude with me,
it's fafer trufting a Rogue in the Goal, than on the
Queen's Highway; indeed he may poffibly expect a
Gentleman to eſcorte his Perfon, but I believe it's more
probable his Bufinefs is to fecure a Purſe.
Befides, I am perfuaded, 'tis not fo very certain, that a
Man who has fought away for his Prince, or his Friend,
both Limbs and Eftate, will keep up to his former Prin-
ciples of Loyalty and Generofity, unlefs he receive a
more comfortable return of Acknowledgement, than a
cold God be with you, or I am forry to fee you in fo drooping
a Condition. For fuch a Payment bears no Proportion
with a loft Leg, or a forfeited Eftate. He may very
P 3
well
214 A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
well expect, you will be at the Expence of an oaken
Supporter at leaft, and that you will not condemn him
to the Basket for his Honefty, and if ill Nature baulks
his Expectation, and he cannot make a Penny of his Ser-
vice, he may think of changing Mafters, and may re-
folve to try if Vice be not better natur'd than Virtue,
and if Treaſon will not piece up an. Eftate, Loyalty
has disjointed. For, Sir, give me leave to tell you, Ne-
ceffity pinches, and often puts Men upon unwarranta-
ble Courſes; Indigence works more upon People than
Duty, and Generofity feldom bears up againſt Neglect
and Contempt: You muſt fometimes be at the Expence
of a Cordial to keep up the Spirits, and enliven Refolu-
tion; for Stoicifm is out of Faſhion. Men are not fo
conceited of Virtue, as to think it is its own Recom-
pence, and that it's worth taking the Field for the Ser-
vice of his Prince, tho' he take up in Chelsea Hoſpital at
his Return.
Indeed, tho' a good Man be turned off here by his
Prince without Regard, he will have Station and Happi-
neſs hereafter. But fome Provifion fhould be made e-
ven in this World, both to reward and refreſh fuffering
Virtue, otherways it may give us the Slip: For prefent
Service, People expect prefent Payment, and a ſmall
Gratification in Hand, wins more than Millions in Re-
verfion. Endeavour therefore to raiſe thoſe that deſerve
Promotion, and whoſe paſt Behaviour will anfwer for
their future. But to grace thoſe with Title and Digni-
ty, who deſerve not the Benefit of an Amneſty, is nei
ther fafe, generous, nor juſt.
V.
Let your Actions keep touch with your Promifes, and
your Heart and Tongue fpeak the fame Language; to
proffer a Gentleman Affiftance, and not intend it, is baſe,
and to defign a Favour that lies out of your Reach, is
fooliſh. O. P. had Credit at Court, and an honourable
Poft to fupport it; fome gave him a world of good Na-
ture, others as much Vanity, and indeed the Queſtion
lies yet undecided, whether he ſteer'd by the one or the
other However, his Antichamber was the Rendezvous
of Pretendants, and his Houfe was term'd the Sanctu-
ary of younger Brothers. Leave your Business to me (fays
he to one) it shall be done to your Satisfaction. Your Pre-
tenfions
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
215
tenfions (crys he to a Second) are moft juft, his Majefty
has too much regard for Merit to refuſe fo reasonable a Peti-
tion. My Gentlemen return'd to their Lodgings on Cock-
horſe, and began to think of a Fund for a glorious Equi-
page; fome were already Knights in Imagination, and
other Barons or Viscounts. All were more happy with
the very Expectation, than Fruition could have made
em; for Fancy paints beyond Life, and over-flouriſhes
Objects; thofe Scenes it reprefents in the Brain out-ſhine
thofe of Creation: In fine, Reality fcarce ever patterns
Imagination, and worldly Greatnefs charms more upon
Report than Sight, minuit præfentia famam.
But after all, their Expectation ended in Diſappoint-
ment, and their Hope funk into Defpair; for after they
had run through a long Courſe of Submiffion and Atten-
dance, they were difmift with a Gentlemen, I am forry my
Labour has been unsuccessful, unlook'd for Accidents have
cross'd my Defigns and your Fortunes. Thofe poor Preten-
dants were forc'd to retire, and curs'd their Patron's Im-
potence or Impofture; they lafh'd him feverely in the
Coffee-Houfe, and convinc'd the World he wanted either
Sincerity, Credit, or Prudence. A Man fhould keep his
Promiſes within the Compafs of his Power, and rather
promiſe too little than too much. There is Goodneſs,
Greatnefs, and Pleafure in forwarding a Gentleman on
his way to Preferment; but it's bafe to feed him with
vifionary Hopes, and then to turn him off with a Com-
pliment. He might have placed his Addreffes more
fucceſsfully, and manag'd both Time and Money more
to Advantage; but being thus difappointed, he remains
without Friends, without Money, without Patience; he
has waited away the very Materials of his defign'd Fa-
brick, and has nothing to truft to but a Musket. Be-
lieve me, Sir, it's mortifying to fall fhort of that which a
Man affects with Eagerness; the Misfortune puts his
Fancy into a Fever, it preys upon his Blood, boils up
his Spirits, and flings him into Impatience; it baulks his
Hopes, cows his Courage, and makes the remaining Sa-
tisfaction of Life a Burthen. I am apt to believe the
Gentleman meant well; but certainly he did ill in tan-
talizing fo long his Clients: For the fame Inftant their
Hopes ebb'd, their Anger began to flow, and not one
but thought himſelf to have juft Provocation given him
P 4
to
ն
216
A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
to impair his Credit, and to make him the Subject of
their Choler and Scorn; and indeed Men generally re-
ceive as little Kindneſs as they do, and find as few
Friends as they deſerve.
If you have Power, employ it to the benefit of Merit
and Quality; but be not too magnificent in your Promi-
fcs, nor over confident of Succefs; pretend not to enſure
a Preferment, nor talk of Uncertainty till the thing be done.
I would rather give a Gentleman too little Hope than too
much, and difpoſe him to fear the worst, than to expect
the beſt of the Enterprize. For thus he will receive a Baulk
with lefs Surprize, and if he fucceeds an Expectation will
enhance the Value of the Favour. Tire not his Patience
with tedious Put-offs, nor torture him between Hope
and Fear; put him out of Pain fo foon as you can, and
let him know what he has to truft to; when Fortune
is unkind, it's a Satisfaction to know how far ſhe can af-
front us, and a Man is in fome refpect happy, who fees
the laſt Extent of his Mifery.
VI.
Some People over-rate their Merit to ſuch a monstrous
Height, that they prefs forward upon every Appearance
of Profit, and fancy they are rarely equip'd for every
Place of ´Advantage of Honour that falls in the Court;
and upon this Perfuafion they beg hard for the Employ-
ment. Nothing is able to diſcourage them from the Pur-
fuit, neither the Greatnefs of the Competitors, nor the
Number of their Rivals. Are they baulk'd, the next Day
they return to the Charge; they rally after the Defeat,
and grow imperious and menacing upon a Denial; they
will hector and ſtorm their Prince out of the Privilege of
placing his Favours where he thinks fit, and plague him
into a Compliance: But if he yields not to their Impor-
tunity, they leave the Court in a Pet, and ſtrike in with
a Faction.
Firft he fets up for a mighty Patriot, and pretends a
great Concern for his Country, then he defcants upon the
Advantages of Liberty, and runs thro' all the Branches
of Property; in his way he has a fling at the Preroga-
tive, and fets the Subject above the Sovereign. Theſe
Diſcoveries work upon the Rabble, who conftitute him
Guardian of their Privileges, they give themfelyes up to
A
his
of the GENTLEMAN Inſtructed.
217
his Conduct, and for a Pledge of their blind Obedience
preſent him with their Eyes and Underſtanding; he is
the only Patriot in the Nation, he alone stands in the
Gap, and oppofes arbitrary Defigns and prerogative In-
novations; the Atlas that fuftains Liberty and defends
Property againſt Court Encroachments. In fine, he is
baptized the Proteftant Peer, as if the Houfe of Lords
were compos'd of Papifts or Infidels, and all the Pro-
teftant Gentry of the Realm were fhipp'd away for Bar-
badoes or New-England.
Now has this Man more Zeal for his Country, or
more Religion than his Neighbour? Not at all; his
Concern is Intereft, and his Religion Mask and Artifice;
his Vanity at Court exceeded his Force, and his Merit or
Fortune kept not Pace with his Ambition; the Wind
blew in his Teeth, and now he tacks about, and makes
for a Republick. Now thefe popular Men, theſe Men
of Applaufe have two thirds of a Traitor; and I take it
for a general Rule, that he is no good Subject who runs
away with the Heart of the Vulgar, their Intellectuals
are too weak, or their Paffions too ftrong to diftinguiſh
Truth.
But in Sincerity, tho' this Practice be ordinary, has it
any thing of Reaſon or Chriſtianity? A private Gentle-
man fhall place his Favours as he thinks beft, and a King
fhall be barr'd with Freedom? Shall Privilege quite o-
verfhade Prerogative? And the Servant be more abſo-
lute than his Mafter? Shall Authority be a Minor, and
Subjection be of Age? It is hard, methinks, that a King
can't chufe Servants as well as his Subjects, and that he
fhall be leſs becauſe he is greater.
Befides, the Apoftle commands us to obey our Su-
periors as God's Vicegerents, not only when they
ftroak, but when they ftrike us; not only for Intereft,
but for Confcience fake. So that our Appealers to
the People are not only bad Subjects, but worſe
Chriftians: They tranfgrefs the Laws of the Goſpel to-
gether with thofe of the Land, and altho' they keep off
from human Juftice, they will ſcarcely withdraw from
Divine.
Step not into thofe Irregularities, tho' they are receiv'd
with the Applaufe of the Crowd, and huzza'd home
with all the Pomp of a Roman Oration, they are un-
juftifiable
}
218 A SUPPLEMENT to the first Part
I
juſtifiable before God, and fober Men. Receive a Fa-
vour with Thanks, and bear a Repulfe with Patience.
Tho' a Prince be unkind, you muſt not be undutiful; his
Failures are no cover for yours. An abuſe of Power, ne-
ver juftifies Difobedience.
VII.
Men aim at Happineſs in all their Purfuits, but gene-
rally they miſtake the Means. Such a Place in Court,
cries one, fuch a Poft in the Army, fays another, fits
my Temper to a Hair, put me into that, and I fhall be
more happy than a Monarch; I will for the future check
my Defires, and forfwear wishing. This puts me in
mind of the famous Dialogue between King Pyrrhus and
his Favourite Cyneas. May I be fo bold, Sir, faid the Philo-
fopher, as to ask, what you pretend to in all your Enterpri-
zes? When will you end? Or do you know what you would
be at? I am now, replied the King, for the Conquest of
Italy, then to Sicily there is a fhort cut, and Africa lies in
my way home: When I have brought thefe Defigns to.a hap-
py Conclufion, we'll live merrily. But why, anfwer'd Cy-
neas, will you purchaſe at ſo vaft an Expence of Money
and Men a merry Life, which you may buy at a cheaper
Rate? Stop your Defires, ufe what you poffefs, and the
Bufinefs is done.
A merry Life is the End of our Labour, as well as of
this Pagan King, and the Reafon why fo few Courtiers
enjoy what they all fo paffionately pant after, is, becauſe
they rather follow his Example, than the Philofopher's
Counſel. Thoſe who wifh for what they have not, for-
feit the Enjoyment of what they have; when they defire
eagerly, they hope too faft, and are hair'd by Fear: Now
a Man may as foon be eafy on the Wheel, as happy be-
tween theſe two Paffions. Put a juft Term to your Wiſh-
es, and when you have touch'd it, make a Stand. It's
both fickle and fervile to overlook the Fortune before
you, and long for that which is not in your Power. To
fay you will pufh for fuch a Station, is to fay you will be
a Slave, that you will lay your Content at the Mercy of
Hazard, and by confequence be miferable. If you give
way to Nature, you will ſpend all your time in Pretenfi-
ons, and leave not a Moment for Enjoyment. Happi-
nefs only begins when Wiſhes end; and he that han-
kers after more, enjoys nothing,
Befides,
of the GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
219
Befides, Sir, it's ten to one that if our Defires tower
too high, we fhall ufe foul Means, if fair will not raiſe
us: For when Paffion becomes clamorous and importu-
nate, the whiſpers of Reafon are either not heard, or not
regarded. He who is bent upon a thing, will have it
without boggling at the Notions of Right or Wrong. Ha-
man would bring Mardocheus upon his Knees, and becauſe
he would not creep, he muft hang; Revenge could find
no Crime, but Calumny foon forg'd one. Now to rife by
Crimes, is to pay too dear for the Elevation; ten Thou-
fand Pounds is the fixt Price of a Title. Why will you
purchaſe one at the Price of Heaven? In fine, Sir, all
the Glory, all the Worth of the Univerſe will not hold
out to the length of Pride and Covetoufnefs, and feeing
they are too little to fatiate our Defires, they fhould not,
methinks, be big enough to provoke 'em.
;
not
I poftpone Grandeur to Confcience, and time to Eter-
nity; Goodneſs is your Bufinefs, not Greatnefs; you
were made for Heaven, not for the Court, let that be
the End of all your Actions, and the Goſpel the Rule
Profit muft not regulate your Conduct, but Juftice:
Perchance you may not thrive fo well in this World,
but you will fare better for it in the other; There,
Title, but Virtue makes the Diftinction. A Thief with
true Repentance will go from the Gallows into Abra-
bam's Bofom, and a vicious Prince into Hell. In fhort,
let your Converſation be eafy, your Temper ſweet, and
your Piety unaffected. I will not overcharge you, con-
tinued Eufebius, with Precepts; Time, Prudence, and
Reflection will fupply the reft.
Lean. I return a thoufand Thanks for your Charity,
and own my felf indebted to Providence for the Favour
of this Conference. The Scales of Prejudice and Igno-
rance are fallen from my Eyes, and things appear in a
clearer Light. I am convinc'd that all fublunary Objects
are thin, fuperficial, and empty, and that nothing de-
ferves my Heart, but he that made it. Had our Yefter-
day's Club been fo fortunate, as to have enjoy'd the Be-
ncfit of this Entertainment, I fancy your Inftruction
might have awaken'd their Confciences, and dafh'd their
brutiſh Pleaſure with Gall and Vinegar. But alas!
poor Creatures, they walk in the dark, and place their
Affections at Random; they never confult Reaſon, but
hate
}
220 A SUPPLEMENT to the firft Part, &c.
hate by Caprice, and love by Hazard. A dazling Sur-
face runs away with the Underſtanding, and commits a
Rape upon the will, and they will not underſtand, that
an eternal Puniſhment treads upon the Heels of a tranfi-
tory Pleaſure.
Leander ſpoke with fuch an Emphafis, that his Con-
cern fparkled in his Face. Eufebius embrac'd him with
the Tendernefs of a Father, and difmift him with this
Farewel; Dear Sir, fuffer me to end with our Bleffed
Saviour, you are healed, now fin no more, left God take
you away in flagrante, and leave not a Moment between
the Offence and the Puniſhment.
The End of the Supplement.
Gentleman Inftructed
A
In the true Principles of
RELIGION;
With a full Confutation of
AT HE IS M
AND
LATITUDINARIANISM.
The SECOND PART.
Written for the
Inftruction of a Young NOBLEMAN.
LONDON:
Printed in the YEAR 1733.
(223)
1
THE
PUBLISHER's
Epiftle Dedicatory
TO THE
GENTRY.
I
GENTLEMEN,
Make bold to fue for a Third Audience,
which I prefume you'll not refuſe me. I have
no Defign either upon your Kitchen, or your
Purſe; and will neither tempt your Charity, or
importune your Liberality. I wait upon you to
give, not to ask; and expect no Reward for my
Preſent, but a civil Reception.
Atheiſm, that grand Plague of the Living,
and Torment of the Dead, rages in our Ifland:
Now being folicitous for your Safety, and ap-
prehenfive of your Danger, I humbly offer this
Conference as an Amulet againſt the Contagion ;
tho' it prove not an infallible Remedy againſt
the Evil, I am fure it can do you no Harm:
And
224
Epiftle Dedicatory.
And then it has Cheapnefs, a moft enticing
Quality to recommend it. The Diſeaſe is eaſi-
ly catch'd, not eally remov'd: So that a Pre-
fervative is more reaſonable than a Reftorative.
Indeed thoſe People whofe Buſineſs is confin'd
to their Lodgings, who live out of Sight, and ra-
ther work than ſport themſelves down, are al-
moft below the Danger. But you move in a
more elevated Sphere, you are defign'd for Ćom-
merce, and Converfation; your Occafions draw
you from Retirement, and your Diverfions call
you into Company.
Now when Infection becomes epidemical,
Crowds grow more dangerous than Solitude;
and it may be prefum'd, that among a Multitude
fome carry the Tokens, and perhaps the Plague-
Sores upon them. It's therefore extreamly hard
for Gentlemen, who are eternally infefted with
Squadrons of Spungers, who are haunted by
Parafites, that muft fawn to live; and general-
ly difcourfe more feelingly on the Excellency of
a Ragouft, than of God or Religion. I fay it's
hard in fuch a Confluence, to efcape the Breath
of an Atheist, who by the Affiftance of a volu-
ble Tongue, and a good Forehead, is able to
ſcatter the Distemper; and if it once faftens on
the Heart, it immediately pofts to the Head;
and when theſe noble Parts have imbib'd the
Contagion, it's odds, the Difeafe either carries
you off, or at leaſt waits on you to the Grave.
Befides, Curiofity and Pleafure invite you to
the Play-boufe, from whence you adjourn to the
Tavern. Now both thefe Places are infectious.
There, Atheiſm is brooded, hatch'd here. The
Tenets are learnt in the Boxes, and practis'd at the
next Rendezvous: When Virtue is lafh'd on the
Stage before you, and Vice recommended: When
you
Epistle Dedicatory:
225
you fee Villanies carry off Applaufe, and Morali
ty Confufion. When you hear Religion revil'd
and the very Author of it blafphem'd by fome, and
ridicul'd by others: In Time neither will ftand
very fair in your Efteem: You will be fhrewdly
tempted to think thofe Things cannot be very fe-
rious, nor holy, when Men publickly make Ufe of
them for Subjects of Merriment and Profanation.
But then when you ftrike off from the Pit to the
Eating-Houfe, furrounded with a Tribe of Hang-
ers on, as flenderly provided of Religion as Mo-
ney, what lewd Comments do theſe Rakes make
on the Text? How do they fnarl at Providence,
and glance upon the Divinity with an hundred In-
nuendo's, which muſt be ftamp'd with Wit (for-
footh) becauſe they are profane? Now thefe Blaf-
phemies at a full Table, and over fullerCups; when
the Spirits are fluſh'd and warm'd, i. e. when Rea-
fon is fetter'd, and Senfuality let looſe, firſt meet
with Applaufe, and then with Approbation; for
certainly Men are never more difpos'd to deny God,
than whilſt they offend him; nor to take leave on
Religion, than when they haye loft their Wits.
Again, tho' we live in a degenerate Age, Religi-
on has not loſt all Reputation. A Man may go to
Church without being gaz'd upon for a Monſter,
whilft Atheiſm feems at leaſt to live under the dif-
eſteem of the Publick. Now to ftrengthen their
Party, Atheiſts have Gentlemen in their Eye à
They hope for Safety under your Protection, and
Credit too under the Wings of your Authority:
Hence they employ a hundred little Artifices to
juggle you out of your Faith, and to hare you into
Religion, and indeed you have a mighty Influence
over the Vulgar; they model their Judgment by
yours; your Averfion is the Standard of theirs,
and what you approve they dare not condemn.
Q
From
226
Epistle Dedicatory.
From you they take Faſhions, Breeding, and even
Religion. So that I wonder not Atheiſts aim at
you: the Conqueft of one Nobleman may be term-
ed Legion; for his Surrender (like that of Me-
tropolis) draw in the whole Province.
Moreover, God has favour'd you with Efau's
Bleffing; the Fat of the Land is part of your
Inheritance, and by Confequence, Honours,
Pleaſures, and Efteem; the common Sequels of
Abundance. You run fmoothly before the Wind,
and fail on with a profperous Gale. Your Hal
cyon Days run through the whole Year; Earth,
Winds, and Men, drudge for your Satisfaction
and Intereft. You confute Job's Aphorifm, Man's
born to labour, and demonſtrate by Practice, that
Sport is the proper Employment of Gentlemen.
ry
Now Profperity is heady, it intoxicates, tho
it delights; and not only dafhes out the Memo-
of Things paft, like the River Lethe, but
(what is more ftupendious) of thofe that are to
come. Men are fo taken up with the Charms of
the Prefent, that they have little Time, and a
lefs Inclination to caft away a Thought on the
Contemplation of the Future; they love not to
withdraw their Eyes from the pleafing Objects of
this Life, to fix them on the fearing Profpect of
the other: And without doubt, Gentlemen, who
have Pleaſures before them, would be as little
difpofed to enjoy them, as Dionyfius the Tyrant,
did they reflect what Torments ftand behind
them.
When therefore Things glide on fuccefsfully
Here, it's very natural to lay afide all Concern of
the Future: And if we judge the bad Things of ano-
ther World, thwart the Enjoyment of the good
Things of this; we fhall firft wifh there were no
fuch Place, and then from withing a Thing were
not,
Epifle Dedicatory:
227
1
not, to believe it is not, is but a very fhort Tra-
ject, for the Will and the Judgment feldom difa-
gree, and if once you lop off the laft Article of
the Creed Vitam æternam, you muſt throw out
the firft, Credo in Deum.
Tho' Gentlemen lie open to theſe Temptati-
ons, I do not ſay they are always overcome; fome
bear up with Courage againſt the Affault, and
force theſe lewd Suggeftions to retire. I know
Perfons of Quality, whofe Virtues are more no-
ble than their Blood. Providence feems to have
made them Great, that they might appear more
fuperlatively Good. Like the Sun, they fcatter
their benign Influence on all below them, and
thoſe they cannot warm with their Munificence,
they enlighten with their Example. But how-
ever the Event of War is doubtful, and the Dan-
ger certain: Where Temptation reigns, there's
no Place for Security; and therefore by the Laws
of Prudence you are bound to take the beſt Pre-
cautions: You cannot be too fure when Eternity
lies at Stake.
I prefent you with a Conference in which you
will fee the Latitudinarian nonpluft, and the Athe-
ift difarm'd. You may eafily defend your felves
againſt theſe Sects, with thofe Weapons Eufebius
overthrew their two Abettors, Ariovistus and
Theomachus, and if you will but take the Pains
to balance the Lightnefs of their Defence, with
the Weight of their Impudence; you'll rather
pity their Silliness, than apprehend their Rea-
fons:
2
THE
[228]
THE
PREFACE
TO THE
READER.
DEAR READER,
Offer to your Perufal, the Second Part of the
GENTLEMAN INSTRUCTED. It's a Treatife
against Atheiſm. I hope it may be profitable; I am
fure it is feafonable. It's Time to prepare for a De-
fence, when the Enemy has gain'd the Walls. When
the Plague rages, and Death fits at every Door, it's
Time to think of an Amulet. In a publick Danger,
Nature commiffions every Subject to fight for his
Prince and Country, Unufquifq; naturaliter eft
Miles. Duty arms us, and Allegiance enters our
Names in the Mufter-Rolls. God lies under the most
vile Circumstances of Infult and Outrage. Libertines
make bold with his most facred Attributes; they bur-
lefque his Mercy, lampoon his Justice, and ridicule
bis Omnipotence, whilst Atheists attack his very Be-
ing, and fly in the Face of his Divinity: And fhall a
Shriſtian ſtand an idle Spectator at fo bold, fo da-
ring
Preface to the Reader.
229
ring an Infolence? For what were Tongues made,
but to speak on fuch provoking Occafions? Silence is
criminal as well as Neutrality, and not to stand up
in our Maker's Defence when Atheiſts rifle bis Ma-
jesty, and rally upon his Omnipotence, is to band a-
gainst him.
Some perchance may ſtand up and tell me, that
Treatifes of this Nature are not calculated for our
Meridian: That they may be uſeful to the wild Pa-
tagons of America, or the ftupid Hotentots of the
Cape; but that Atheism is fo great a Stranger to our
Nation, that we are forc'd to fetch a Word from
Greece to express it. We are rather opprefs'd with
the Light of a Deity than want it. We walk in the
Sunshine of Knowledge; not the Obfcurity of Ig-
norance. And whilst we tolerate all Religion, it's
ridiculous to fuppofe we have none.
But under Favour, Gentlemen, we need not fail
to the Megalanian Streights, nor cut the burning
Line to find an Atheist. Theſe Monsters breed nigber
Home; they spawn on our Shoar; they thrive in
our Climate, and like the Egyptian Locufts over-
run the Country: So that they are become an univer-
Sal Nuiſance to the Subject, and a Plague to the
Realm. Stupidity and Education may plead for poor
American Atheist at God's Tribunal; but cannot
for ours. These are batch'd in the Stews, and nurs’d
in the Play-house; they take their Birth from De-
bauchery, and Growth from barefac'd Malice. They
pass thro' the whole Alphabet of Crimes before they
touch this Non plus ultra of Impiety.
St. Auſtin complains thefe Vermin plagu'd his Age
as it does ours, but yet they lay under Difcipline, they
walk'd abroad incognito, and fculk'd under Dif
guiſe, ideo dixit in corde fuo non eft Deus, quia
hoc nemo audet dicere, etiam fi fuerit aufus co-
gitare. But now the Scene is shifted; Atheism Stands
Q3
$10
230
Preface to the Reader.
no more on Refervedness; it fcorns to lie under the
Reproach of Restraint, or the Shame of Confine-
ment; it has laid down the Vizard, and appears in
publick, not only without Fear, but even with Impu-
dence. Other Vices retire into Darkneſs and Solitude,
like Bats, or Screech-Owls they range in the Night;
but Atheiſm braves it at Noon-Day; and fois turn'd
into a Mid-Day Devil, Dæmonium Meridianum.
It has remov'd it's Lodgings from the Stews and
Bagnio's, and other publick Scenes of Lewdness, to the
Court. It has wheedl'd into its Party not only the
Rakes, but the Poets alfo, who, like Slaves at the
Oar, drudge for the Caufe: They rbime down Piety,
and then laugh Religion out of Countenance to turn it
out of Doors: They draw in all the Succours imagi-
nable, but Reafon and Confcience; fo that one would
think they intended a general Invafion upon Religion,
and refolve to force Morality into an Abdication,
In King David's Reign an Atheist made a poor Fi-
gure; he was content to wear the Cap and Bauble;
bis Ambition look'd no higher than the Poft of Scara-
mouch, dicit infipiens in Corde fuo non eft Deus.
And indeed all Mankind, together with the Royal
Prophet, voted him the Station: But it feems we
have learnt new Notions of Wit and Wisdom fince
the Deceaſe of our Ancestors. What went in their
Days for Stupidity and Folly, by the Hocus Pocus
of a new Creation, starts up Ingenuity and Reaſon in
ours. The most dull Creature that dares difown his
Maker is dubb'd a Virtuofo, and without any other.
Tryal of his Abilities commences Doctor in the Acade-
my of Rakes: For theſe Men having now ufurp'd the
Bench, they fit upon Wit, Breeding, and Religion; their
Judgment is the Standard of Senfe, and Scale of No-
bility: So that whoever dares but defy God without
Remorse, without Shame, is a fhrewd Man, a Per-
fon of Parts, and a Gentleman without the Help of
Heraldry,
Preface to the Reader.
231
Heraldry, a Peer without the King's Patent; nay,
he is every Thing but a Man.
I wonder what they drive at, if they defign to
Spread a Varnish on the Face of Vice, to turn Lewd-
nefs into Virtue, and Brutality into Diverfion; their
Plot is well laid, their Meaſures are just, and Suc-
cefs must crown their Endeavours: For if God be
daſh'd out of the Creed, Morality will foon abandon
our Actions. Man will stand on the fame Ground
with Beafts; Reaſon will vanish into Senfe, and ſo
we shall fall below the Level of our own Species.
Power will decide Right, Intereſt will define Honesty,
and Revenge pronounce upon Honour; and then, like
diſmantled Towns, we ſhall lie open to all the Inroads
of Infolence, and to all the Aſſaults of Vice. Is not this
a fine Method to cut off all the Lines of Communication
between Man and Man? To throw all Government
off of the Hinges ? To drown Order in a Sea of Con-
fufion? To stock the Nation with thieving Arabians,
and to let loose upon our Bodies, an Army of bloody
Tartars?
And indeed our Atheists have Reaſon to crow; their
Trick has taken to Admiration. Debauchery Spreads
fofaft, that the Infection is become epidemical, it's
above Expreffion; God fend it be not alſo paft Cure!
One would think Circe bad flipp'd her magical Po-
tions hither, Transformations are fo ordinary; and
what raifes my Sufpicion is, because they all end in
the Beaft, and most in the Swine.
'Tis hard to affign the genuine Caufe of this extra-
vagant and unreasonable Vice. One told me, he was.
of Opinion, that our Natives had wafted it hither
from the Indies, and that theſe Barbarians had bar-
tered their Infidelity for our English Ware.
tainly our Seamen carry abroad a fmall Cargo of Re-
ligion, and a lefs of Confcience; both are a trouble-
Some kind of Lading, and of no Debate. We must
Q4
Cer-
not
232
Preface to the Reader.
not wonder then, if a Crew flenderly provided of both,
loſe fome Grains in the Traject, and more in thoſe
Regions where they fee none. The African Infidelity
may tiniture their Hearts, as the African Sun tans
their Faces; and then at their Return, they may un-
lade the Atheiſm of Guiney with its Gold. Tho' thefe
Apoftate Mariners may fling the Infection among the
Mob, they cannot reach thofe who move in a higher
Sphere: But Swains lie too far out of Sight, to in-
fluence the Nobility; they are Creatures of too fmall
a Size to fet up a Fashion, too defpicable to de-
ferve Imitation.
'Tis certain nothing has contributed more to the
Improvement of Atheism than the Liberty of the
Press; like Pandora's Box, it has poured out all the
Plagues of Schifm, that for theſe hundred Years bave
plagu'd the Nation: They fwarm in every Corner,
and are become both a Drudge, and Grievance. Like
Toad-ftools they start up in a Night, and what Won-
der? Nature buddles up in a Moment thoſe Infects
that Spring from Stench, and feed on Corruption:
They are for the most part abortive Embrio's, with-
out Shape, without Figure, but not without Poison.
The Prefs however is now a Branch of our Pro-
perty, and a Part of our darling Liberty; we think
ourfelves fetter'd, unless we have the Freedom to fnarl
at the Prerogative, to vomit Blafphemies against
God, and to revile Religion and Morality; and then
that our Crimes may be immortal, and infect future
Áges, as well as the prefent, they must appear in
Print, to out-face Modesty, and ftare Virtue, Reli-
gion, and Obedience out of Countenance. Certainly
thefe People fancy Ignorance and Wickedness are
charming Qualifications, why elfe do they take fuck
Pains to ftand Fools and Debauchees upon Record?
Alas! their Defign looks another Way; would
they content themselves with the Honour of Fools or
Debauchees
Preface to the Reader.
233
Debauchees, we would let them carry off the Prize;
but they level at Piety, they strike at Religion, and
aim by Reflection at the Almighty: And that their
Train may take, and their Poifon work with Effica-
cy, 'tis gilt over with foft Language, fwimming Ex-
preffions, chiming Periods, i, e. they blend Poifon
with Poifon to make the Potion ftronger. Smut and
Baudery are fulfome Objects in their own Dreſs, they
rather work upon the Stomach than the Will, and
are fitter for Scavingers than Gentlemen; when a
little Art cafts a Blanch over their Foulness, and
vails their Deformity, they enchant Senfe, and ſtupify
Reaſon; the Monſter withdraws, and the Sound af-
fects the Ear, whilſt the Object lays hold of the Heart:
Indeed fome ftand upon no Ceremony, they draw the
Statues of fcandalous Amours, not in Bufto, but at
length, without a Fig-leaf to cover their Nakedness.
They appear under all Shapes, and in all Poftures,
but thofe of Decency. What Virtue can stand out a-
gainst fuch murdering Engines? Thefe Objects make
Inroads upon the Fancy, they fire the Blood, and put
the Humours in an Uproar; they fit the Reader for
any Villany, and what is worſe, point out the Occa-
fion; nay, our Authors ſtand not in Univerfals, they
defcend in Particulars. They diffe&t Brutality, and
expoſe Anatomy to View and Contemplation, which
is a fhrewd Argument their Writings are only Copies,
and that the Actions are the true Originals.
In a Word, the whole Fry of our modern Pam-
phleteers feems to have confpir'd against Virtue and
Godliness, they canonize Vice, and deify Unclean-
nefs; and by this Means they have run down Sobrie-
ty, and ſet up Incontinence; they have brought Li-
bertinism into Credit, and Morality into Contempt;
and Things are come to fuch a Condition, that
Confcience lies under all the Dreads of Reproach, and
Apprehenfions of Infamy,
Now
234
Preface to the Reader.
Now when the agenda of Religion are laid afide,
the credenda will foon be difmifs'd, as ufelefs and
cumberfome. A Man that has but the Boldness to
charge thro' all the Terrors of the World, in good Time
will laugh at them; and then because God takes not
off Sinners in Flagrante, but leave fome Years be-
tween the Crime and the Punishment, he will be apt
enough to conclude he is a meer Bugbear of our own
Creation. To be fhort, the Prefs has not only effe-
minated the Mind, but unprincipled the Understand-
ing, and therefore fitted us for all Diffolution. A
Man without Principle is a Creature without Re-
ftraint; he is all Senfe, all Appetite, all Beaft, and,
in fine, all Monster.
Now to put a Stop to this growing Vogue of A-
theifmn, I have publish'd theſe Conferences, in which
the Atheist will fee the Weakness of his Principles
difcover'd, and if he be not converted, I am fure he
will be confounded. I defire thefe Nullifidians to
read the Book without Prepoffeffion, without Biafs &
the Subject is both ferious and important, and there-
fore deferves unprejudic'd Reflections.
THE
[235]
THE
Gentleman Inftructed, &c.
:
DIALOGUE I.
How Theomachus became an Atheist, fet down as a Can-
tion for all young Gentlemen.
T
He
HE next Morning Neander took Coach, and
drove directly to Eufebius's Lodgings.
walk'd up Stairs, and found his Friend in his
Clofet. Good Morrow, faid Neander, laft Night I
brought you the Challenge, and now I am come to carry
you to your Antagoniſt. I hear he is ftrangely fluſh'd
up with Hopes of Victory, and has call'd in fome Friends
to be Spectators of his Triumph.
Eufeb. Atheiſts, like young Narciffus's, dote on their
own Abilities; and becauſe they are more proud than
we, they very wifely conclude they are more witty. But,
Neander, thofe who talk moft, do not always talk beft,
Speaking and Reaſoning are not always of the fame Side;
that lies within the Verge of a Fool, and this is the Pre-
rogative of a wife Man. But pray why fo early this
Morning? Atheiſts and Libertines are now in their firſt
Sleep; they are perfect Sybarites, and never open their
Curtains till the Sun has drove over the Meridian: Sa
that they live no leſs extravagantly than they believe:
Their Actions crofs upon Nature, as well as their Faith
on Reaſon. But indeed we muſt fling in ſome Grains of
Allowance; for whereas other Men fleep to refreſh Na-
ture, Atheiſts fleep to work out a Debauch. And as they
drink poor Reafon afleep, fo they fleep it awake, and this
Opera-
236
The GENTLEMÃN Inſtructed.
!
Operation requires Time. I have read that the Morning
Heats are admirable for Tranfpiration, they fupply the
Place of a Bagnio, and fpare both Expence and Trouble.
Neand. An Atheiſt cannot croſs your Way, but you are
preſently on the Spur, you make at him with full fpeed,
and ſeldom leave the Chace till you are both run down:
Have you forgot, That Love your Neighbour as your ſelf,
takes in both Infidels and Atheiſts too? And that whosoever
is of your Species comes within the Pale of the Precept.
Eufeb. I love their Perſons, but cannot be reconciled
to their Principles; I could heartily pity 'em, had they
one Grain of Compaffion for themſelves; but they are a
Race of Men, that neither defire Pity, nor deferve it s
they walk on the very Brink of the Precipice, and (tho'
they know the Danger) fhut their Eyes, that they_may
not fee it, as if they plac'd their Happineſs in their Ruin.
In fine, Neander, they fhall have my Prayers, but not
my Efteem. But a propos: May I not know my Anta-
gonift's Name? I forgot this Query at our laft Meeting.
Neand. And really I forgot to acquaint you: He is cal-
led Theomachus; he is in great Requeſt, and ſpeaks well,
tho' he believes ill.
Eufeb. Theomachus!
Neand. Why have you any Acquaintance with the
Gentleman?
Eufeb. I never exchang'd a Word with him in my Life:
But a Man muſt have led the Life of a meer Reclufe, not
to have heard of Theomachus: He has been the Town
Diſcourſe theſe thirty Years; and never Man has been
more prais'd, nor more blam'd than he. I have heard a
thouſand Panegyricks of his Youth, and as many Satyrs
of his old Age, that leaves no place for Invective, nor
this for Excufe: For as I have been credibly inform'd, in
his tender Years he practis'd all Virtues, and fince he be-
gan to decline, has plung'd himſelf into all Vices: He
has not only debauch'd himſelf almoft out of his Eſtate,
but quite out of his Religion; he turn'd off Chriftianity
for Libertinifm, and from hence ftept into Atheiſm; fo
that, like Lucifer, from an Angel of Light, he is meta-
morphos'd into a Spirit of Darkneſs, and has improv'd
the Contempt of his Creator into open Rebellion; nay,
he reads Lectures of Atheiſm to others, and fo fpreads
the Infection, and makes his own Difeafe incurable; for
if
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
237
if the Allurements of Pleaſure are fo bewitching as to per-
fuade a Man in ſpight of Reaſon to live an Atheiſt, Ho-
nour will puſh the Illufion farther, and invite him to die
one. I am fenfible enough that we are more prone to
cenfure our Neighbour's Vices, than to take notice of his
Virtues: Invectives flow more eaſily from us than Pane-
gyricks; and therefore I thought my felf oblig'd to fuf-
pend my Judgment of Theomachus, till I found fome bet-
ter Evidence than popular Reports, which oftentimes owe
their Being to Miftake or Envy, and their Growth to a
talkative Humour, and indeed at length I fell by chance
in the Company of one of his Friends, who gave me full
Satisfaction: His Life has fomething of the Romance,
but more of the Tragedy; 'tis fitter to grieve, than to
divert us, and to melt us into Tears, than into Laugh-
ter: Time does not prefs; I will, if you pleaſe, run over
the chief Circumftances; tho' the Narrative be not di-
verting, I am fure it will be inftructive: You will learn
by his fad Fall, that Man can find no fure Footing here,
that Virtue lies within the. Reach of Temptation, and
cannot only be affaulted, but overcome.
Neand. Pray, Sir, favour me with the Relation; In-
Atruction is never unfeaſonable, 'tis fometimes neceſſary,
eſpecially to young Men, whofe Nature bends more wil-
lingly to what is pleafant, than what is lawful, and who
rather fpur on their Paffions than curb 'em; befides Ig-
norance waits on Youth, as well as Prefumption. That
hides the Danger; This provokes it; but both betray us.
Pray begin.
Eufeb. 'Tis a kind of Poftulatum in Spirituality, that
Men end as they begin, and die as they live; and indeed
Experience teaches as well as Scripture, that the laft
Act of our Lives is but a Copy of the firft. Virtue
planted in the Spring of Youth, thrives to Admiration;
It flows in the very Winter of Age, it blooms in the
Grave, and breathes forth Perfumes when our Bodies ex-
hale Infection. Now if an early Virtue caft its Roots
fo low, that the Blafts of impetuous Paffions are not able
to ſhake it, Vice certainly will be more lafting; this is
the Product of our own Soil, like poifonous Weeds it
grows without Planting, and in Proceſs of Time winds
and twiſts it felf with our very Nature; it finks into our
Bones, and not only conveys the Infection through all
the
238
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
the Humours of the Body, but corrupts the very Facul
ties of the Soul; fo that like chronical Diftempers, it ac-
companies us to our Coffins, it fleeps with us in the
Grave, and burns with us in Hell.
Tho' this Rule be univerfal, it admits of fome Excep
tions; who court Sin in their Youth, fometimes deteſt it
in their declining Years; and thoſe who quench the un-
lawful Heats of Lewdneſs in the very Summer of their
Lives, are confum'd by 'em in the Autumn of their Age;
even then like Mount Gibel, they are Snow without, and
Fire within; and this Providence permits, that the Saint
may not prefumé, nor the Sinner defpair. St. Paul was
a Perfecutor before he became an Apoftle. He made a
Martyr in Jerufalem before he ſuffer'd Martyrdom at
Rome; and only propagated Chriſtianity, when firſt he
conſpir'd its Ruin. What could be more promifing than
the Beginning of unfortunate Judas? He receiv'd Power
over Devils, as well as over Diſeaſes; and commanded
Nature whilft he obey'd his Mafter: But when Avarice
prey'd upon his Innocence, Treaſon broke in upon his
Loyalty, and Defpair put an End to his Life, to begin
the everlafting Puniſhment of his Offences: But we need
not run fo far back into. Antiquity for fuch Examples;
our Age can leave at leaſt one Prefident to Pofterity in
the Perfon of unfortunate Theomachus.
This Gentleman feem'd born under ſo happy a Con-
ſtellation, that all Things confpir'd to make him a Saint..
At the Age of Twelve he had the Prudence of a Man of
Twenty, an Air of Gravity ran thro' all his Actions, fo
that he had nothing of the Child, but Age and Inno-
cence. The Seeds of a pious Education fown in a Soif
fo grateful, could not chufe but improve almoft to a Mi-
racle; and indeed, fo foon as he heard to what End he
was created, together with the dread Myfteries of Chris
ftian Religion; that the Virtues of the Juft would be
rewarded with an Eternity of Joys; and the Sins of
the Impious with an Eternity of Torments: He never
balanc'd on the Choice, but refolv'd to fquare his Life
by the Rule of the Gofpel, and to poftpone all the Ad-
vantages of Time to thofe of Eternity.
His Conduct was an Argument that his Pefolution nei-
ther flow'd from Childifhnefs, nor Ignorance; he labour'd
to put it in Exccution with the fame Eagernefs he made
its
The GENTLEMAN Înftructed. 239
*
it, and he told his Tutor one Day, that to defer the Exe-
cution of a good Purpofe, and to break it, was the fame
Thing; that a bad Action ſhould never be done, nor a
good one ever omitted. He began firſt to model his
Paffions, and puniſh'd 'em like Traytors before they were
able to rebel: He taught 'em to obey betimes, that they
might never pretend to Sovereignty, and refus'd them alt
things to baulk their Importunities; fo that when he made
his firſt Appearance in the World, and enter'd upon Con-
verfation, he drew all Mens Eyes and Admiration upon
him: He ſeem'd caft in a quite different Mould than o-
ther Men, and wholly exempt from the common Curfe
of Mankind; he fear'd thofe Things which others hope
for, and ran from thofe vain Amuſements they purſue:
He plac'd his Wealth in the purchaſe of Virtue, not of
Land, and defpis'd all Honour, but that which fuits
with a Chriftian: He look'd upon his Eftate as a Proper-
ty of the Poor, and therefore return'd them the Over-
plus as a Debt, rather than as a Benevolence; and
when once a Relation defir'd him to fhape his Charity
by the Rule of Difcretion; my Neighbour's want, re-
ply'd Theomachus, is the Standard of my Alms, and I
had rather drive my Liberality too far than too fhort.
He never withdrew from thofe Diverfions that recreate
the Body without endangering the Soul; but then he
could not be won to countenance a Debauch; and altho
this Nicety often expos'd him to the Scoffs of Raillery of
thoſe young Blades, that rated Pleaſure above their Du-
ty, yet he either detefted their Malice, or pitied their
Folly, and valued his Innocence above their Favour. Wę
live (faid he one Day) in a ſtrange Age, and as ftrange a
Kingdom; we profefs a Reformation in Religion, and a
Corruption of Manners: We believe what Chrift reveal'd,
and bluſh to practiſe what he taught: His Religion is Ala-
mode, and his Precepts of Morality out of Faſhion. Sure-
ly we pretend to juſtify the Lewdness of our Actions, by
the Holiness of our Religion, as if true Faith were a War-
rant for Immorality. Cannot a Man be well bred
unleſs he lives ill? Nor condefcending unleſs he gives up
his Title to Heaven? Can nothing oblige a Companion
but my Damnation? Nothing intitle me to good Beha-
viour but Impiety? This is certainly to confound Ideas,
to fettle falfe Notions, and to banter Things out of their
Nature.
You
•
240
The GENTLEMAN Inftrutted.
You may eaſily imagine fuch Lectures of Morality
were unpalatable to thofe young Sparks, who fix their
Eyes and Thoughts only upon the prefent. They took
the Alarm, and immediately cry'd out, Gentlemen to your
Arms. Young Theomachus, fays one, is vaftly pretend-
ing, he fets up for a Preacher without Holy Orders, and
enters upon the Miniftry without Licence. Nay, replies
another, he joins Infult to Outrage, Firft by Impeach-
ing our Conduct, and Secondly by making Inroads on
our Prerogative. 'Tis a Gentleman's Privilege to fin
without Reproof, as well as without Scruple, and who-
foever adviſes us of our Duty, tranfgreffes his own. We
fhall be cloy'd with Homilies unless we cool his Zeal,
and ſweeten his morofe Complexion. I am not, fays a
third, for being always upon the defenfive, we muſt
make a Diverfion, and carry the War into his own Do-
minions. His Virtue I fuppofe is not impregnable; it
may either be mafter'd by Force, or feiz'd on by Sur-
prize; and if our Enterprize fucceed, we fhall gain a Pro-
felyte, and loſe a Cenfor. The Counſel was receiv'd
with Applaufe, and preſently they fell to work; they
attack'd his Reafon with Wine, and his Chaſtity with
Women. But Theomachus vented their Mines before
they took Fire, and fo cover'd his Adverfaries with Con-
fufion, and himſelf with Glory. Nay, he painted the
Foulneſs of the Attempt in fo lively Colours, that he
brought over fome to a better Life; and even thoſe he
could not perfuade to repent, he taught to bluſh: And
now he had obtain'd fuch a Superiority, that all thofe
Hectors who could not love him, were forc'd to eſteem
him. His very Prefence bridled their Paffions, and kept
them within the Bounds of Decency, and tho' he could
not controul their Thoughts, he was abfolute Mafter of
their Actions.
Theomachus run on in this holy Courſe till the thir-
tieth Year of his Age, refpected by Men, and precious
in the Sight of God. Never Man bid fairer for Perfe-
verance than he; he had kept his Paffions under fuch
fevere Diſcipline, that they feem'd rather dead than
mortify'd; they had obey'd fo long, that they loft almoft
all Defire to command: He lay under the Violence of
no ill Habits, no criminal Engagements, in fine, he judg❜d
himſelf fecure when he was within an Ace of his Ruin.
His
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
24€
His Sifter, affianc'd to a young Gentleman, invited
him to her Wedding, fhe prefs'd the Invitation with that.
Earneftnefs, Theomachus forefaw fhe would not return
with a Denial; he made notwithſtanding ſome Refift-
ance, and carried on his Excufes beyond the Laws of Ci-
vility, for he knew that Meetings devoted to Merri-
ment, are often profan'd with Lewdnefs, or, at leaſt,
that Temptation crowds in with Youth and Gallantry,
yet at length Importunity overcame his Conftancy, and
this Piece of innocent Condefcendence firft threw him
upon Temptation, and then tumbled him into the Pre-
cipice of Libertinifm and Atheiſm.
Some of his Relations, Men of a gay Temper, were
grown out of Conceit with his Moderation and Re-
fervedneſs, and therefore refolv'd either to bend his Vir-
tue, or to break it. They hire a Woman, fair as a He-
len, but lewd as a Meſſaline, ſhe was one of thoſe who
proſtitute their Honour for a fine Equipage, and firſt prey
on young Gentlemen's Hearts, and then on their Eftates.
She was handfomely fet out for the Employment, and
well vers'd in all the little Arts of wheedling, nothing
could be more engaging than her Converfation, her Hu-
mour was pleaſant, and yet referv'd: So that thoſe that
did not know her, would have taken her for a Vestal;
fhe was well inftructed in her Part, and promis'd to act
it to the Life, nor did fhe fail in the Execution.
Theomachus on the Day appointed repair'd to his Sifter's
Lodgings, where he was receiv'd with open Arms; every
one gave him the welcome, but they fcrew'd up Civility
even to Affectation, who had laid the Train to blow up
his Virtue And now the deceitful Syren I spoke of began
to enter on the Stage. She continually plac'd her felf
before him, and took him out to dance a Minuet ; fhe
found Occafion to entertain him, and fometimes in pri-
yate. Theomachus was first charm'd with her Converfa-
tion, then he fought it, and, in fine, he found an Uneafi-
nefs when he was out of her Company; in a Word, his
Paffion made fuch Progrefs in the Space of two Hours,
that he was fcarce able to mafter it: This Bafilisk had
fhot the Poifon thro' his Eyes to his Heart, and its Ope-
ration was fo quick, that the peftilential Flame almoft
confum'd him before he well knew the Caufe of fq
Atrange an Alteration; he blufh'd within himself to fub-
R
mit
J
1
242 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
mit at the Age of Thirty to a Paffion he had conquer'd
at Twenty, and concluded that Magick had a greater
Hand in his Overthrow than Nature, but 'tis a Folly to
impute to Philtrums and Incantations thofe Effects which
fpring from our felves, and rife out of our own Corrup→
tion.
He endeavoured to pen up his Paffion within his own
Breaft, and fear'd it fhould take Air, but Love is a Flame
that cannot be confin'd, it breaks out in fpite of Oppofi-
tion, and works its way through all the Marks of Diffimu-
lation. A certain Gloominefs fat on his Face, Chearful-
neſs gave place to Melancholy, he fhew'd an Uneafineſs
in Company, and a Diffatisfaction in Solitude, all won-
dered at the fudden Alteration, but no Body more than
himſelf. Some call'd the Distemper a Fever, others a
Weakneſs, but all mifs'd in their Conjectures, befides the
Viper that ſhot the Poiſon, and the unfortunate Gentle-
man that receiv'd it.
Theomachus pretended Sickneſs, and fo withdrew to his
Lodgings, but he trail'd the Dart after him, it ſtuck in
his Heart, and he neither had the Courage to difengage
it, nor Reſolution enough to fupport the Torment: He
hated the Pain, yet doted on the Caufe of it, and even
feem'd to tafte fome Happineſs in the very Height of his
Mifery. But Oh! when he compar'd his paft State with
the prefent, the fweet Calms of a virtuous Mind with
the boisterous Tempeſt of a distemper'd one; he thought
himſelf fallen from Heaven into Hell, and confefs'd no-
thing was wanting to compleat his Miſery, but the Eter-
nity of his Torments. His Fancy drew out a Landskip
of all the difmal Confequences of fo unruly a Paffion;
and Reaſon told him it was time to prevent them, but
he relied too much on his Virtue, and fuppos'd it invinci-
ble, becauſe hitherto he had not been overcome. He
thought his Power over Paffion was as abfolute, as God
over the Sea, and if he bid it ftop within the Bounds of
Decency and Innocence, it durft not difobey.. But alas!
Virtue muſt not without great Precaution be put to the
Teft. If we truft it too far, it often gives us the Slip,
and by a moft juft Judgment from Heaven, too great a
Confidence ends in Ruin.
In fine, Theomachus was impatient for a fecond Inter-
view; he concluded no Harm could follow, becauſe he
intended
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 243
intended none. That there was no Danger of Sin, be
cauſe his Thoughts were innocent; nay, he was now
flown up to fuch an Height of Extravagance, as to per-
fuade himſelf, that the Impetuofity of Appetite is fooner
tam'd by Liberty than Reſtraint, and that like fome ca-
pricious Horfes, it runs fafter when you draw in the
Reins, than when you flacken them. Thus he fetch'd
Arguments from the Stable, and play'd the Jockey rather
than the Chriftian.
His Companions made him a Vifit, and eafily per-
ceiv'd the Caufe of his Difeafe. They prais'd his Paffion,
applauded his Choice, and very religioufly offer'd their
Service in this amorous Adventure, i. e. they faw a Re-
lation on the Brink of the Precipice, and would by all
Means favour him with a civil Puſh; for you muſt know,
Neander, there is a Race of Men in this City, who en-
trench upon the Devil's Employment, or rather are his
Deputies, they tempt by his Commiffion, and damn their
Friends out of Kindness; they are more fucceſsful and
more dangerous than their Mafter, becauſe leſs frightful,
and then they edge the Temptation both by Example and
Counfel.
Theomachus's ill Fate drew him to a fecond Vifit, this
made way for a third; yet he ftood to his Refolution,
and kept within the Limits of Modefty: But in the mean
time, the Fever of Love heighten'd, and the malignant
Humour paſt through the Eyes to the Heart, and from
thence fum'd up to the Brain, fo that now the Diſeaſe
not only infected the Will, but tainted the Underftand-
ing. He began to venture on great Freedoms than ſtood
with Virtue, and in a fhort time plung'd into Debauche-
ry: But when he retir'd into his Clofet, and Solitude
gave time for ſerious Reflections; Grace open'd his Eyes
to fee his Fault, and they dropp'd Tears to deplore it; he
learnt by Experience, that the Pleafure of Sin bears no
Proportion with the Torment of it, that the Delight is
momentary, and the Pain may be eternal. And now he
feem'd refolv'd not only to hate his Crime, but even the
Cauſe of it: But thoſe Debauchees who had been the In-
ftruments of his Fall, dafh'd all his pious Refolutions,
and at length not only depriv'd him of Liberty, but of
the very Defire to regain it.
R &
Tears,
244
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Tears, fays one, have no ill Grace on a Child's Cheeks,
they become alſo well enough the weaker Sex, who of-
tentimes plead their Caufe with them when Reaſons fail,
and fo at the fame time redreſs a Grievance, and dif-
charge the Brain: But they argue an unpardonable
Weakness in a Man, and raiſe a fhrewd Suſpicion he
has either over liv'd his Judgment, or never had one; you
have made a falfe Step, and who does not trip fometimes?
Let your Heart ask Pardon, not your Eyes. Repent, if
you pleaſe, but why muft you defpair? But before you
pronounce upon your felf, examine whether you are
guilty? Appeal to Reaſon, not to Fancy, Prejudice, and
Education: Thofe are always upon the hurry, and be-
cauſe they raiſe a Duft, they never fee Objects in their
Proportion. God is a Father, not a Tyrant; if he has
laid fome Precepts upon us, he never intended to over-
whelm us. Why did he create Eyes, but to fee? Or
Ears, but to hear? Will he permit us to behold nothing.
but Monſters? Or to fmell nothing but Stench and In-
fection? This is to make our Senfes a Burthen, rather
than a Bleffing, it's to turn into a Curfe the very Benefit
of our Creation.
No, no, Theomachus, when God fram'd our Senfes ca-
pable to receive Pleaſure, he created Objects fit to give
it; and I am of Opinion, that Pleaſures of the Senfe have
nothing criminal but Miftake. I thank that great Deity
that made me, for the Favour of my Creation; I pay
him Obedience every Day, and commit my felf to his
Protection: Now if at the fame time I indulge Nature,
and give it a Play-day, where is the Harm? Muſt he be
offended, becauſe I am pleas'd? Or cannot he be happy,
if I am merry? Indeed I declare against thoſe who fly in
the Face of Majefty; who burleſque his Goodneſs, and
lampoon his Juftice; thofe are Attempts againſt his Per-
fon, Overt-acts of Hoftility, and Rebellion, they are
Crimes of the firſt Claſs, and if they are not puniſh'd
with Fire hereafter, at leaft they deferve it. Speak
honourably of God, pay your Workmen, injure no
Man, and you cannot mifcarry.
:
The Gentleman has Reafon, fays another, he has fpo-
ken like a Man of Parts and Merit. I lay once under
the fame Miftake as you Theomachus, and never enjoy'd
my Freedom till I eas'd myfelf of the Yoak of Confcience,
and
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
245.
and Reſtraint: Qualms damp'd all my Pleatures, and me-
lancholy Spectres flung Wormwood into all my Di-
verfions; but I have reafon'd my felf out of thefe fple-
netick Vapours; and laugh at theſe fantaſtick Montters;
they once tormented me; but, continu'd he, what if
there be no God? What if you flaſh into nothing when
you ceaſe to breathe? And that Fear and Hope fleep in
the Grave? Will your Virtue then convey you to Hea-
ven? Or your Sins to Hell? Be firſt ſure there is a future
State, before you part with the prefent. When you can
demonftrate there is a God, 'twill be time enough to ferve
him: Tell me not the Being of a Deity is paſt Debate,
nor that all Nations confpire in this Belief; Matters of
this Nature are not to be put to Vote, they muft not be
judg❜d by Plurality of Voice, Reafon muft decide the Que-
ftion, not Numbers; Truth is Truth, tho' all the World
deny it; and Falfhood is Falfhood, tho' all abett it. Pe-
rufe thefe Books with an unprejudic'd Mind, with that
he laid on the Table Hobbs, Spinofa, and other Pam-
phlets the Spawn of our Age, and the Plague of our
unhappy Nation.
This new Syftem of Divinity ftunn'd him, he knew
not whether he ſhould receive it with Laughter or Indig-
nation, for tho' on the one Side he fuppos'd they jefted,
yet on the other they play'd on too ferious a Subject:
Tho' he had forfeited his Innocence, he had not yet took
leave of Religion; fo that he could not endure to hear
the Decalogue traduc'd. Virtue levell'd with Vice, and
God himſelf degraded by a Pack of Atheifts, who have
no other Reaſon to quarrel with his Being, but becauſe
he curbs their Lufts, and lafhes their Confcience with
Scorpions.
But the Devil of Love that poffeft this unhappy Gen-
tleman, begun to rife again, he perceiv'd that Indulgence
had whetted his Paffion, inftead of blunting it; and that
it was impoffible to gratify Senfuality without provoking
Confcience. In this Agony between Fear and Defire he
first cried out; if thefe Gentlèmen's Tenets are not
true, they are at leaſt convenient, they give full Scope to
Senfe, and reconcile Confcience with Pleaſure; then he
wifh'd they were true, and after a Pauſe, perchance they
are, faid he, latter Ages have diſcov er'da new World,
why may they not a new Truth? At leaſt there is no.
Harm
R 3
1
246 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Harm in examining their Principles. If they prove fa-
tisfactory, I may enjoy my Paffion, if not, I am refolv'd
to ftifle it. Thus did Atheiſm make its Approaches by
Degree, it work'd at firſt out of Sight, and under a Dif-
guife, and then turn'd poor Theomachus out of his Reli-
gion and Wits too.
He fell upon the Books with fo great Eagernefs, that
he feem'd rather to devour than read them: And when
he fell upon the Panegyrick of human Reaſon, or an In-
vective againſt Prejudice and Education: This is fair
Dealing, faid he! this is to build on Principles; to ſtand
on a fure Foundation, we cannot go aftray under the
Conduct of Reafon; Intereſt cannot break in upon its
Integrity; it acts without Biafs, without Partiality; its
Judgment is infallible, and its Decifions Oracles. Pre-
judice and Education are the Bane of Truth: They ſo
crowd our Heads with old Species, that they leave no
room for new ones; fo that we either act out of Cuſtom
or Spite.
But he had done well to confider, that they who inveſt
our Underſtandings with the Prerogative of Infallibility,
are infallibly Concombs, that they are great Strangers to
Reaſon, who think it above Error, and that they are cer-
tainly mistaken, who fuppofe it cannot be deceiv'd. 'Tis
true indeed, Prejudice and Education oftentimes rather
leads us from Truth, than to it. And it is more fecure
to make the Enquiry alone, than in their Company, but
when Men declaim againſt them without Mean or Mea-
fure, 'tis a Sign they are tainted with the Diſeaſe, for
where there is Heat, there is no Indifference: And fo they
only condemn one Prejudice with a greater.
However, the Books infected him, they convey'd the
Contagion from his Heart to his Head; fo that within a
fhort Time his Difeafe came to a Crifi,, which prognofti-
cated nothing but Atheiſm He found a ſtrange Charm in
the Stile, their flourishing Periods ftruck him with Ad-
miration. He thought a Vein of Wit and Elegance ran
through all their Difcourfes, fo that he was never tir'd
with reading nor praifing them: The worst of Things
were prefented him under a handfome Mafk, which
made them paſs; Poifon will not go down, unleſs it be
gilt or made palatable, and for this Reafon generally the
worft Books are writ the beft; barefac'd Impieties rather
move
:
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
247
move us to Indignation than Love, and therefore, thofe
who expoſe them to the publick View, take Care to ſet
them off in a gaudy Drefs, to veil their real Deformity
under beautiful Trappings. I know many are of Theo-
machus's Opinion, and make ftrange Diſcoveries of Wit
in theſe Authors, where I find nothing but Blafphemy.
But fome Men are born under a happy Conſtellation;
they have the good Fortune to be dubb'd Wits, meerly
for fcoffing out of the common Road, and taking the
Confidence to deride thofe facred Myfteries, the greateſt
part of Mankind reverences; which certainly is no more
an Argument of a Man's Wit than of his Piety: But 'tis
a Demonſtration, that an English Atheiſt was in the
Right when he ſaid, When Reafon is against a Man, then
a Man will be against Reafon.
You muſt not wonder if Theomachus once intoxicated
with Atheiſtical Wit, was foon bewitch'd with Atheiſti-
çal Arguments; every Sophifm feem'd concluſive, and
Demonſtration ſparkled in every Period. You would have
fworn thofe Gentlemen's Arguments were as evident as
Mathematical Poftulatums; or that they prov'd their
Thefis by Apollonius or Euclid: But after all, they build
on Gueffes, and ever beg the Queftion, but never prove
Queftion, but never prove
it. Sometimes they flirt at the Government of the Uni-
verfe; then at God's Juftice; and fometimes again at his
Mercy; and becauſe they cannot reconcile theſe two At-
tributes, they fuppofe they are incompatible; as if Man's
Reafon, that cannot comprehend a File, were able to
graſp an Immenſity. However, thefe Arguments which
rather work on Fancy, than convince the Underſtanding,
debauch'd Theomachus, and becauſe he could not, or would
not refolve them, he thought them unanswerable.
Sometimes he would adjourn from his Cloſet to the
Coffee-Houfe, and venture upon a Difpute; and when he
was put to a plunge, he laid the Miſcarriage rather upon
his own Ignorance, than on the Caufe he manag'd. So
befotted was he of his new Mafters. In fine, the Employ-
ment of Theomachus jumps with his Name, and his Mo-
rals with his Faith; he is a perfect Atheiſt, that is, with-
out Religion, and by confequence without Morality: He
acts as he believes; and the only Apology for his Vices, is
the Corruption of his Principles.
R 4
Tho
248
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Tho' this unhappy Gentleman abandon'd God, God
did not abandon him; he ftruck him with a Fever, which
in fome Days brought him to Death's Door, and the Do-
tor deliver'd him this doleful Meffage, Sir, you must dies
He who before difcours'd of Death, as if he had been
Immortal, broke into a Fit of Impatience and Diſtracti-
on; he ſcarce knew where he was, much leſs what to re-
folve on; he ſaw he could not live, and yet he would not
die. This ftrife between Life and Death caft him into
ftrange Convulfions; and the Lofs of the prefent, with the
Fear of the future, fet all the Humours of his Body in a
Ferment. God awak'd his Confcience which flew in his
Face, and fet before his Eyes a whole Inventory of his
Crimes. He ſtarted at the Sight of thefe ghaftly Monsters,
and fear'd himſelf more than Death, nay, more than Hell ;
for 'tis more to deſerve thoſe Torments than to ſuffer 'em.
Oh, cry'd he, there is a God! Sickneſs that has almoſt
kill'd my Body, quickens my Underſtanding! From theſe
laft Moments of Time, methinks, I take a Survey of E-
ternity; and behold there a Judge who will puniſh me,
if I die in Obftinacy, or reward me if I breathe out my
Soul in Repentance. Oh! I will fly to his Mercy rather
than abide the Impartiality of his Juftice! His Goodneſs
exceeds my Malice; he can pardon more than I am able
to commit, and will receive me into Favour, if I fue for
it with Humility and Contrition. In fhort, he ſent out
fuch fiery Ejaculations, that they feem'd to flow rather
from the Breaft of a Seraphin, than of a Man. He de-
teſted Atheiſm with all the Caufes of it, and wifh'd he
had loft his Eyes, before they look'd upon thoſe ſcanda-
lous Books, that corrupted his Will, and poifon'd his
Underſtanding: He water'd his Bed, in a very literal
Senfe, with his Tears; nor could all the Perfuafions of
his Friends ſtop the Current. He now had no regard for
the Body, that was once his Idol; nay, he wifh'd that
Sorrow would rather put an End to his Life, than Na-
ture. But Theomachus beyond Expectation recover'd,
and what is amazing, relaps'd into his old Difeafe:
Scarce did he enjoy the Favour of a perfect Health, but
he fpurn'd at his Benefactor, and fell into thofe Abomi-
nations he ſo lately detefted; as if God varied with our
Conftitutions, and vaniſh'd into nothing when we are
well, and revives when we lie on our Death-Bed.
This
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 249
This is an Abridgment of Theomachus's Life, and I
have been more particular in the Narrative, that you
may learn by his Misfortune, and draw fome Advantage
from his Mifcarriage: We may date his Ruin from the
Rife of his Paffion; tho' debauch'd Company, and lewd
Books compleated it. Love funk the Mind; Conver-
fation and Reading put fire to the fatal Train, that blew
up Theomachus's Virtue: And from this tainted Spring
How thoſe unheard-of Abominations, that almoft drown
the Nation. Had not the Printers fo much Work, the
Preachers would have lefs; but now the Preſs declares
War againſt the Pulpit, and the Hawkers fcatter the
Defiance.
Nean. This is a ftrange Story, and had lit from ano-
ther, I ſhould be tempted to doubt whether Man be ca-
pable of fo great Inconftancy. Certainly it deferves a
Place in Hiſtory. I may perchance be tempted, with
your leave, to expofe it to the Publick.
Eufeb. I leave that to your Diſcretion. Let's not for-
get our Atheiſt; it's time to take Coach.
DIALOGUE II.
Whether there are any real Atheiſts.
THey walk'd down Stairs, and when they were in the
Coach, pray, faid Neander, give me your Opinion,
are there any fuch Creatures in the World as real Atheiſts?
They fay this Vermin fwarms, and, like Egyptian Frogs,
crawl into the very Bed-chambers of Princes.
Eufeb. Atheiſm is a meer Sound, an infignificant Word,
a modifh Blufter; but in Truth there is no fuch Monſter
in Nature, as a downright Atheiſt: I mean, no body in
his Senfes can ſeriouſly perfuade himſelf there is no God.
Men may huff and hector in a Rendezvous of Rakes
and Bullies; they may fwear they believe no fuch thing;
and in a raving Tranfport of Debauchery defy it ; but
then you must take all this for nothing but Cant and
Bravade: The denial fits on the Tongue alone; 'tis ra-
ther a Wiſh there were no God, than a ſerious Profeffion
there is none; for whilft they mock this pretended No-
thing,
250 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
thing, they tremble at the Apprehenfion of it; they fear
its Anger, though they deny its Being: So that thoſe we
call Atheiſts affect to appear what they are not; and by
a ſtrange Frenzy, lay to their own Charge a Crime they
are not guilty of: And indeed the Perfuafion that there
is a God, is rooted in Nature; we owe it neither to
Education nor Study: As our Maker has ftamp'd his
Image in our Foreheads, fo he has alfo engraven'd the
Knowledge of himſelf in our Souls; and altho' Debau-
chery may deface the Characters, it can never deſtroy
them.
Nean. Pray let us drive home again: I thought we had
been on an Expedition againſt Atheiſts; but I perceive
they are Enemies of our Coining; they are meer Phan-
toms that flaſh from Fancy, and only ferve for Satyr and
Invective. What did that great Champion Dr. Tillotson
enter the Lift againſt Chymara's? Did he duel with emp-
ty Apparitions, and fence with Shadows?
Eufeb. Miftake me not; I told you there were no real
Atheiſts. Id eft; that no Man can be fo far convinc'd
there is no God, but ftill he fears there is one. Let him
draw up a whole Legion of Atheistical Arguments in
Batalia, they cannot fecure the Underſtanding from
Frights and Sufpicions; for tho' they may look under the
falfe Lights of Prejudice and Partiality very plaufible,
yet they cannot convey to the Intellect, Evidence and
Demonſtration.
But then there are a world of limping Atheiſts, who
walk between a God and no God; that is, who fays there
is no Deity, and act as if there were none; and yet at
the fame time fufpect there is one. This is that Race of
Men we call Atheiſts, who have difmift their Underſtand-
ing and Reaſon with their Will.
Nean. Under Favour, I muft trefpafs upon your Pati-
ence, and crave farther Inftruction; for as yet I walk in
the dark, and do not apprehend your meaning: Cannot
the Being of a Deity be juſtify'd by Arguments, that
flaſh Conviction?
Eufeb. Yes, it can.
Nean. It feems then impoffible for the Underſtanding
even to doubt of a Truth, that prefents it felf in the glit-
tering Equipage of Demonſtration; for it is not Maſter
of its Acts, as the Will; it lies under the Command of
Necef
>
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
251
Neceffity, and is compell'd to acknowledge Truth if is
appears in Perfon.
Eufeb. The Propofitions of Euclid are all Demonftra-
tions; and yet a bare caft of the Eye on the Lines, or the
Titles, do not fend Truth in Poft to the Brain: We muſt
firft fee what the Author would be at; then we must put
Antecedents, and draw Consequences before we can difco-
ver that Light which flows from the Schemes to the
Head, and gilds the Underſtanding. Now an Atheiſt is
fick of a Deity, and therefore will make no Acquaintance
with thofe Arguments that prove one; they come upon
too ungrateful a Meffage to find a kind Reception; and
generally when they aſk an Audience, the Will denies
Admittance; or at leaſt it cuts out fo much other Work
for the Understanding, that it can find no time to give
them a full Hearing: Like a Miniſter of State, it hovers
about the Prince, and obftructs the free Paffage to the
Prefence: But then, when Arguments for no God ap-
pear, the Will puts on foot a hundred little Intrigues to
enfnare the Underſtanding; they are trick'd up for De-
lufion, and fitted for Deceit.
Nean. I perceive it's a fine thing to be a Dupee: Why
elfe do Men take fuch Pains to impofe on themſelves?
But can Men cheat themſelves in Reputation? Or are
there ſo great Chartns in being over-reach'd? I thought
it was every Man's Intereft there were a God; and there-
fore, methinks, it were more reaſonable to believe, than
to wheedle our ſelves into Infidelity.
Eufeb No doubt, it's the Intereft of Reafon, but not
of Senfuality. A Man who takes Pleaſure for the Rule
of his Actions, muft lie under ftrange Apprehenfions at
the very Thoughts of another World. The dreadful
Glory of an exasperated Deity; the fiery Proſpect of
boiling Brimftone, and the horrid Pourtraits of the in-
fernal Executioners, cannot chufe but work upon the
moft refolute Debauchee: Sin, tho' never ſo pleaſant,
with the difmal Confequences of Judgment and Damna-
tion, fit very uneafy on his Confcience, and counterpoiſe
the Sweetness of the noft refin'd Senfuality with Gall
and Wormwood. Now thefe Creatures of Pleaſure,
who cannot refolve on Repentance, have found out a
ſhort way to plaifter up a Peace with Confcience: They
commiffion their Lufts to draw upon the Understanding,
and
252
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
and compel it to deny, or at leaſt to doubt of thoſe
Truths that alarm them: And it cannot be deny❜d, but
all inordinate Lufts biafs the Intellect, and make it fit
to receive thoſe Impreffions which favour Paffion. When
Men live as if there were no God, 'tis extreamly expe-
dient for them there were none; and when once they
are come ſo far, they catch at all thofe Arguments,
which may fortify them in this Perfuafion; and theſe
join'd with the Charms of Intereft, abate the Dread of
Divinity. 'Tis true, all theſe pretty Artifices are never
able to fecure them againſt the Furies that rife from
another World to haunt them. Perchance there is a God,
perchance there is a Hell, fright them into their Solitude
and Retirement, and fometimes into Taverns too: Yet
they have gain'd one Point by doubting, which they look
upon as a very confiderable Advantage, viz. that they
may live Rakes, and die Athiefts, without being fure
there is a God to call them to Account, or a Hell to
puniſh them; and certainly a Man may be faid in fome
Degree happy, that is not fure he fhall once be eternal-
ly miferable.
Now you fee the Heart has carried on the Contrivance,
and from this apoftem'd Member flows the Corruption
of Atheiſm. And to cut off all doubt, why do the ve-
ry high flown Atheiſts deſert on their Death-beds thoſe
Principles they once admir'd? Why do they turn Rene-
gadoes to Atheiſm at the laft Gafp? Have they receiv'd
new Lights from Doctors and Apothecaries? No, no,
they have left the World behind; Pleaſures are now out
of their reach, and paft Happineſs almoft out of their
Memory. They fancy at leaſt an Eternity before them,
Fire under their Feet, and Vengeance over their Heads.
'Thefe difmal Meditations cool Paffion, allay Luft, and
change the Heart; but work no Alteration in the Un-
derſtanding: So that I may conclude with David, The
Fool faid in his Heart there is no God. Atheiſm lodges
in the Breaſt, and a Deity in the Head. Men do not be-
lieve a God, becauſe they will not; to gratify Senfe,
they diſoblige Reafon; and hug Infidelity, to feer Con-
fcience.
.i
DIA-
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 253
DIALOGUE III.
Eufebius and Theomachus meet and agree on the Pre-
liminaries.
SCarce had Eufebius ended, when the Coach ſtopp'd at
Theomachus's Lodgings, who expected him with a
young Gentleman we call Eudoxus. This Blade was a
great Pretender to Wit; and to follow the Stream of Cu-
ſtom, would make the first Effay of it, in a Critick of
Religion: He receiv'd the Rudiments of Latitudinari-
anifm from Ariovistus; and was grown a wondrous Pro-
ficient in the Science of Impiety: He pafs'd the Line
of Chriſtianity; and although he had not yet touch'd
upon the Point of Atheiſm, he was arriv'd, as Ariovistus
us'd to talk, at the Cape of Good Hope; in fine, he yet
acknowledg'd a God, admitted all Religion, and would
condemn none.
After fome mutual Civilities: This is the Gentleman,
faid Neander, I fpoke of Yefterday; if Victory favours
you, I hope you will give him fair Quarter for my
fake.
Theo. Never fear; 'tis more glorious to ufe a Victory
modeftly, than to gain one. I had rather receive a Foil
from Eufebius, than be fubdu'd by Infolence. Reft fe-
cure, continu'd he with a fmile, if Fortune takes my fide,
your
Friend fhall have reaſon to be fatisfied with me: I'll
immediately releaſe him on his Parole not to bear Arms.
againſt Atheiſm, till he be better inform'd.
Eufeb. I am much oblig'd for your Civility; if I fall
under the Weight of your Arguments, I abandon my
felf wholly to your Generofity: Prifoners of War, like
Minors, are uncapable to Article; they lie at the Mercy
of the Conqueror, and muft receive Conditions, but can
make none. But, Sir, I muſt beg Pardon for my Rude-
neſs; for altho' Neander told me you earnestly defir'd a
Conference, yet I am fenfible, that it's neither genteel
nor handſome to falute a Stranger with a Difpute; nor
to make Acquaintance in a Duel: But, Sir, I come here
to difcourfe, not to contend. I feek Truth, which, like
Pearls, is only found in a Calm; and unlefs we all re
folve to abandon Error when we perceive it, 'tis better
to
354
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
•
to forbear the Engagement: For if we look upon the
Conference as a Tryal of Wit, and perfuade our felves
it's more diſhonourable to own an Error than to defend
one in Spight of Evidence, we ſhall take a great deal of
Pains to difcompofe our felves; and then the Queftion
will be, who has moſt Paffion, not who has moſt Rea-
fon: For when a Man is pinch'd and will not furrender;
when his Reaſons are weak and his Obftinacy ſtrong;
he calls in Heat and Paffion to his Affiftance; the only
Supports of a finking Caufe; and I take it for granted,
that a Man never wants Arguments to relieve a droop-
ing Thefts, but he fupplies the Want with Noife and
Clamour.
Theom. You fpeak my Thoughts; Reafon forc'd me
to deny a God, and when Reaſon tells me there is one,
I will fubmit to its Dictamens. I never wed an Opinion
for better, for worfe: What I took upon good Grounds,
I lay down upon better: I do not hug a Miftake, nor
Pride in an Error, nor ever laid Claim to Infallibility. I
cannot well comprehend what thofe Pretenders to Science
would be at, who faften on the firft Notions, and will
no more part with them, than a Spaniard with his Basket-
Hilt or Golilia: They fancy furely that Truth fwims on
the Surface, and that the beft Thoughts lie always up-
permoft; but then they would do well to confider, they
give Children a confiderable Advantage over Men; for
Knowledge will no more be the Confequence of Time
and Experience: We fhall live no more to learn Wif-
dom, but to be fix'd in Folly. In a word, I will no
more enflave my Underſtanding, than my Perfon; and I
value at as high a Rate the Liberty of Thinking, as of
Acting. Convince me there is a God, and I'll take my
laft Farewel of Atheiſm.
Eufeb. Indifference is an excellent Difpofition; we
feldom purſue Truth without Prejudice, but we take it.
I have a Favour or two to beg before we begin, conti-
nued Eufebius. First, Let us fpeak by Turns: I am no
Friend to Noife, and cannot be reconcil'd to thoſe fiery
Difputants who fling out Arguments, one upon the Back
of the other, yet will not have the Patience to receive
one Anſwer: This is not to confer, but to wrangle; and
altho' it may become the Skippers of Wapping, or the Oy-
fter-women at Billingsgate, yet it fuits not well the Breed-
1
ing
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
255
ing of Ġentlemen. An Argument propos'd with Noife
and Bluftering, may break the Head, and difmount the
Brain, but it never makes Impreffion on the Underſtand-
ing; Truth, like a gentle Shower, foaks through the Ears,
and moiitens the Intellect.
Theom. I was drawing up that Article, and am glad
you have foreftall'd me; you are of my Temper: I would
have a Difpute manag'd with Vigour, but not with Heat;
that infpirits Converfation, this confounds it: Notwith-
ftanding, difputing is hot Service, I confefs, and gene-
rally is perform'd with too much Eagerness to be ſucceſs-
ful; nay, I was once acquainted with a moft even tem-
per'd Man, who after he had drawn Blood, as I may
fay, and was flefh'd in Polemicks, never waver'd his good
Humour afterwards. ·
Eufeb. I muſt alſo defire you to avoid Miſtakes, to
call in an Amanuenfis. When our Anſwers and Objecti-
ons are committed to Paper, and fign'd by both Parties,
there will be no Fear of Mifreprefentation. I have often
ſeen a Conference in Print, nothing like the Original;
and he who crow'd in the Pamphlet, cry'd craven in the.
Chamber. Theomachus preſently approv'd the Propofition,
and fent for an Amanuenfis: So that now the Prelimina
ries were agreed to, and all things feem'd ready for the
Engagement.
But Eufebius who faw a great Intimacy between Eu-
doxus and Theomachus, fuppos'd they were not much
divided in Opinion; and therefore that he might attack
them both at the fame time, if he lean'd towards Deifm,
defir'd to know his Principles. Sir, faid he, addreſſing
his Difcourfe to Eudoxus, I hope without Rudeneſs I may
ask what Religion you profefs? We are now met to
diſcourſe of that Subject, and perchance yours may come
within the reach of thefe Arguments I intend to level
at Atheiſm. In Italy and Spain fuch Queftions are fu-
perfluous; and in France, when you find a Man no Pa-
pist, you conclude he is a Hugenot. But our Ifland is
more prolifick, and yields annual Crops of Religion, as
well as of Corn. One Grain of Faith fprouts up into a
hundred: And I am told, that you may poll the People
more eafily than their Tenets: So that Religions rife and
fall as well as Men; and therefore, with Submiffion to
my Lord Mayor's better Judgment, I would have the
Morta-
256 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Mortality of Churches put in the weekly Bills, together
with that of the Inhabitants.
Eudox. Liberty and Property are the Birth-right of
every free-born English Subject: And I fee not why the
fame great Charter fhould not enfranchiſe his Belief, as
well as his Goods and Chattels. England, Sir, is a
nice Nation; I may add, and pious alfo. We pay Ho-
mage and Obedience to the Lord, and will ftand for his
juft Right and Prerogatives; but then we forget not
our darling Liberty; we refpect him as Children, not
as Slaves, and walk in his Ways with Freedom, not in
Tramels.
Eufeb. You acknowledge then a God.
Eudox. I do. I am alfo perfuaded there is a Heaven,
and think there may poffibly be a Hell; theſe Articles I
ſubſcribe to: But no Man fhall ſtretch my Faith to ano-
ther Tenet, or command my Obedience to a Canon
more. This is my Non plus ultra; what lies on the other
fide of theſe Points, is an unknown Region to my Faith,
tho' not to my Opinion. I confefs I do not underſtand
what God is, tho' I adore him; yet I know enough
to admire his Greatnefs, and my own nothing. I love
fometimes to loſe my ſelf in the Labyrinth of his Perfec-
tions; to purſue my Reafon to an, Ob Altitudo! In my
Retirement, I pofe my Apprehenfion with the intricate
Attributes of his Eternity, Goodneſs and Juſtice; and
thofe very Objections that ſtartle another Man's Faith,
confirm mine: To believe what I can prove, is rather
Science than Faith. I recreate my ſelf therefore with his
Goodneſs, and confound my Underſtanding with his
Eternity; and put all Suggeftions of Infidelity out of
Countenance with this old faying of Tertullian, Certum
eft, in
I read no Cafuift but my Reaſon, and am of Opini
on, that God pardons fome Sins as eaſily as we commit
them: My Conſcience is neither of Steel, nor of Wax ;
heavy Offences batter it, but a Peccadillo of Infirmity
makes no Impreffion, I thank God, all my Sins have
Names, and are rather Friends to Senfe, than Enemies
to Reafon; they neither attack God, nor wound my
Neighbour; they only refreſh fometimes my drooping
Spirits, and gently purge Melancholy. In my folitary
Thoughts, I compute and caft up Accounts with my
Maker
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 257
Maker; and I find fuch a Confidence in his Mercy, that
my youthful Failings are not able to affright me. Nay,
methinks, I am tempted frequently to offend, that I may
have the Satisfaction of asking Pardon: And no Medi-
tation carries me fo faft to God, as that of his Goodneſs,
which forgives with fo much Eafe thofe Tranfgreffions
that hurry me from him.
Now if any Man will quibble upon my Symbol of
Faith, I can eaſily forgive him. I cannot be angry with
another's Judgment for diſagreeing from mine: And tho'
I think my felf in the right Way, I dare not conclude,
my Opponents are in the wrong. Each Religion is but
a different Road, that meets at Heaven; and if före
will walk on in the ftraight Path, charg'd with a Lum-
ber of Articles, Precepts, and Ceremonies, let them jog
on, their Burthen will not load me: If they love to
fweat under their Devotion, I vote them that Satisfacti-
on: If they will not communicate with me, I have no
Scruple to converſe with them; their ill Nature fhall not
influence my Charity: I can enter into a Papift Church,
and either pray with them, or for them; the Place can't
profane my Prayers; wherever the Creator is, he may
be ador'd; and therefore at Conftantinople, I would enter
into a Mosque, or into a Pagode in Bengall or Siam; for if
a Mahometan's or Idolater's Prayer offends God, mine
may pleaſe him; if theirs pollute the Place, mine may
fanctify it; for if they direct their Devotions to a Statue,
or Impoftor, I offer mine to God; and fo rectify the Er-
ror of their Worfhip, by well ordering mine.
Eufeb. Tho' your Life be ftrait-lac'd, your Charity
is comprehenfive. I fuppofe the Univerfality of this, muft
atone for the Singularity of the other. Well, Sir, in a
Word, continued he, you profefs one Religion, and ap-
prove all; and fo fall into the Clafs of Latitudinarians:
You are a Leveller, and would bring into the World
an Equality of Religions, as well as Goods and Dig-
nities. You lie then under the fame Latitude with
Theomachus, and the Stroke that hits him will wound
you. Well, Sir, (addreffing himſelf to Theomachus)
choofe your Weapon; are you for the offenfive or de-
fenfive?
Theom. Let us have our Turns; we will engage on
equal Terms. But you are in my Houfe; the Laws of
Breed
$
258 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Breeding and Civility command me to give you the Pre-
cedency. I leave it therefore to your Choice.
Eufeb. I ſee you are refolv'd to overcome me with Ci-
vility, before you vanquish me with Reafon. But I will
not contend with you at this Weapon. I accept your
Offer, and will not offend your Principles, before I de-
fend my own.
DIALOGUE IV.
The Atheist cannot be ſure there is no God, nor the Lati-
tudinarian that all Religions are faving.
Eufeb.
Suppofe neither of you are fo fatisfy'd with your
T
Religions, as never to be haunted with Fears,
nor fcar'd with Doubts and Apprehenfions; for nothing
can fecure the Underſtanding, and fix the Judgment, but
Evidence. Now I cannot perfuade my ſelf, that any
Atheiſt, Libertine, or Latitudinarian dare venture on fo
bold an Attempt, as to thrust on Mankind thofe Argu-
ments for Demonftrations, that under a fine Appearance
hide nothing but Falfhood and Sophiftry. I doubt not
indeed, but the Will may byafs the Underſtanding, and
force out an Affent; but then this can be no more ſteady
than meer Philofophical Conclufions, that fly no higher
than Opinion: For whilft each Side of a Contradiction
bids fair for Truth, we cannot tell on which fide it lies,
and fo float on Uncertainties; and though we judge the
Thefis true, we fear it may be falfe. I will therefore, for
once, deal more generoufly with you, than I am oblig'd
in Reaſon I will, I fay, grant that your Tenets are
doubtful; but then when I do you a Favour be pleas'd
to do me Justice, and confefs, that 'tis probable there is
a God, and that there is one reveal'd Religion. I only
ask what you cannot refuſe without Injuftice, for cer-
tainly if we appeal either to the Tribunal of Reafon, or
Authority, I fhall carry my Caufe; for the Afferters of
a God plead for his Existence with folid Reafons; where-
as you meerly beg the Queftion you are to prove, and
bring no more but a bare Poffibility for the Support of
your Hypothefis: And then, you can pretend no right to
Autho-
The GENTLEMAN İnftructed.
259
Authority. The Founders of Atheiſm and Libertinifin
were look'd upon as Monſters in the very Places they
liv'd, and deſerv'd Puniſhment for their Lewdnefs, before
they fuffer'd Banifhment for their Impiety.
Epicure and Theodore were profligate Wretches; their
Morals run even with their Divinity; they exterminated
Virtue with Religion, and debauch'd both Practice and
Principle; their Scholars have out-done both the Origi-
nals, and improv'd both Irreligion and Impiety. Now
Men who are a common Nuifance to their Country, a
Misfortune to the Age they live in, and an eternal Shame
to their Species, and have little Authority with thofe,
who have one grain of Kindneſs for their Nature; they
are better qualified for the Bar than the Bench, and more
fit to fuffer than to witneſs.
But thoſe who avouch for me, are as admirable for
Learning, as Piety; they are without Number, and a-
bove Reproach: So great Authority back'd with weighty
Reaſon, muſt be confefs'd fufficient to make our Opinion
probable, I might ſay certain; but I wave the Advan-
tage, I may claim both in Equity and Juſtice, and only
ask what you are too reaſonable to refuſe, viz. That it is
probable at least there is a God.
Theom. I have read all I could find on this Subject;
and am forc'd to confefs, our Authors have promis'd
more than they are able to perform: Their Demonftra-
tions for no God leave, methinks, fome Apprehenfion
there is one; and I find them work more efficaciouſly
upon my Underſtanding in Company, than in Sofitude;
and in Taverns, than in my Cloſet.
Eufeb. That is; when Senfuality has ftarted the Game,
and Paffions are on the Wing; when Appetite purtues
criminal Pleaſure, and Confcience checks you with the
difmal Apparitions of Hell, and Judgment; then the
Will is too hard for the Understanding; it turns the
falfe End of the Profpective, and inagnifies thefe Argu-
ments that favour Lift, and folicit for Liberty: But
then again, when the Hurry is over, and your difcerning
Faculty lies under no Restraint nor Fallacy; when it con-
templates the Proofs for no God in their juft Proportion, it
wavers with Fears; and tho' on the one fide it concludes
there is no God, yet on the other it fufpects there is one.
Now, Sir, I do not ask what your Opinion is, when
Sa 2
Paffion
260
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Paffion runs down the Underſtanding; when Defire de
bauches it, and Senfe flings Reaſon off the Hinges; but
what it is when your Intellect acts without Bribery,
without Illufion, without Partiality.
Theom. Well; that we may rid our Hands of Prelimi-
naries, and enter upon Action, I'll condefcend fo far, as
to grant, that it's doubtful whether there be a God, or
no God; and much good may the Conceffion do you.
Eufeb. Eudoxus! Will you enter into the Treaty? It's
better to compound a le' amiable, than by Force.
Eudox. That is, unless I fairly confefs, it's doubtful
at leaft, whether all Religions are faving; you'll compel
me by dint of Argument.
Eufeb. Right; and pray put me not to the Labour of
proving a Truth that diſcovers itſelf, and even glares up-
on the Underſtanding.
Eudox. I know not what Impreffion this Truth (as you
are pleas'd to call it) makes on your Organ, methinks,
it affects not mine; and I am perfuaded that a Man of
moderate Parts may prove ad Evidentiam, that all Reli-
gions are faving; but I willingly decline that Task, not
to prejudice the Subject; yet I'll venture to propoſe one
Argument, that offers it felf to every Man, and may
be comprehended by a Child, tho' not evaded by a Di-
vine.
Eufeb. Such Arguments deferve Refpect, and it's pity
to bury them in Silence and Oblivion.
Eudox. Raillery apart: What can God require of
Man, but Worſhip, Love, and Obedience?
Eufeb. Nothing.
、
Eudox. Therefore whatever Religion a Man profeffes;
if he worfhips God as his Creator; if he loves him as
his Father, and obeys him as a Sovereign; does he
not difcharge himfelf of thofe Duties God's Excellence.
demands, and his Dependency? Does he not comply
with all the Branches of Subjection? Does he not ſtand
within the Bounds of Submiflion? Now, what Religi-
on does not teach its Profelytes to proftrate before God's
Majefty to love his Goodness? to dread his Juſtice?
and to receive his Laws with Reverence? Indeed the
manner of Worship is not uniform; it varies with the
Climate, and is adapted to Mens Conftitutions. Pref
byterianifm jumps with a Republican Genius; and for
this
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
261
this Reaſon was moft nicely eſtabliſh'd in Scotland. The
Laws fence Prelacy in England. Popery bears all before
it in France, Spain, and Italy. The Alcoran bewitches the
Levant. Amida and Xaca, Japan. The Laplanders bow
to the red Cloth, and fome Islanders to a Baboon's
Tooth: Yet theſe different Worſhips meet in the ſame
Center, and terminate in one God blessed for ever. I
have not ſprung this Divinity; I owe it to a late re-
verend Biſhop, who maintain'd it with Applaufe againſt
his Popish Adverfaries; the ancient Pagans neither
ador'd Stocks nor Stones, but the invincible, living God,
under the Shapes of Mars, Apollo, and Jupiter Opt.
Max.
If therefore Men of all Perfuafions worship God;
why fhall they forfeit all Right to his Mercy? Why
fhall loyal Subjects be confounded with Mutineers? or
fuffer for Treafon they never dream'd of? If they do
not agree in Ceremonies, they do in the Subſtance :
Tho' fometimes their Bodies bend before an Idol, their
Hearts fall a Sacrifice to their Creator; and whilft their
Intention goes right, their Actions cannot go wrong.
Eufeb. Air your Demonftration, Eudoxus, it fmells of
Brimstone, and rather proves the Author will be damn'd,
than that all Religions are faving. Methinks, it has fo
black, fo monftrous an Afpect, that it rather frights
than convinces: A Man muſt be below the Standard of
human Nature; he muſt have ſomething of favage, and
deviliſh too in his Compofition, to bolt out fuch killing
Doctrine in cold Blood. Pardon my Heat, I am not
Maſter of my Refentments in fo provoking Occafions;
and when can Paffion be innocent, but in fuch an extra-
ordinary Circumftance? But pray, can God reveal a
Religion?
Eudox. Doubtless he can.
Eufeb. If therefore he reveals one, and commands all
Men to embrace it under Pain of Damnation; I ſuppoſe
the Precept is obligatory in England, without the Con-
fent of the great Reprefentatives, the Lords and Com-
mons in Parliament.
Eudox. Yes, certainly, God's Power goes higher than
the negative Votes; his Will alone is a Law, without
the Concurrence of either Houſe.
S 3
Eufeb.
1
262
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
}
Eufeb. If therefore he has reveal'd a Religion, and
commands ali to embrace it, under Pain of Damnation
what will become of your Demonſtration ?
;
Eudox. Why faith, like a difabled Soldier, it fhall
trudge to Chelsea, and take up with the Invalids; for
Arguments that have receiv'd on Duty Scars, deferves
Confideration as well as Soldiers. Prove he has reveal'd
one, and I am yours.
Eufeb. Expect not a general Mufter of thofe Argu-
ments Chriſtian Divines draw into the Field against In-
fidels; this is a Task above my Force, and requires
much Application; nor does our Controverfy require
it; for my preſent Buſineſs is not to convince you, that
Christianity is evidently true, or evidently credible; but
only, that it's probable, at leaft, God has reveal'd it,
and commands all Nations to embrace it. If I can dif-
charge my felf of this Attempt with Succefs, my Defign
is at an End.
Well, Sir, there are Chriftians in the World; and if
we walk back into paft Ages, we fhall find that JESUS
CHRIST was their Founder; this is a Truth that admits of
no Debate: It cannot be queftion'd by thofe that act like
Men, and yield to Evidence. This JESUS was born in
a Stable, and paft thirty Years in Poverty and Obfcurity.
Then he began to preach, and confirm'd his Doctrine
with Prodigies; he gave Health to the Sick, Light to
the Blind, and even Life to the Dead: At laft he died
by Man's Malice, and reviv'd the third Day by his own
Power; he fent twelve Fiſhermen to fubdue the World
to the Law of the Gofpel; they obey'd his Command;
Succeſs waited on their Labour, and crown'd their En-
deavours; fo that in fome Years the Chriftian Religion
fpread its Conqueft beyond the Bounds of the Roman
Empire. Prejudice, Libertinifm and Atheiſm confpir'd
its Ruin. Philofophers oppos'd Arguments, Emperors
Torments, and Libertines the omnipotent Attractives of
Senfuality. Yet Chriftianity broke through the Violence
of the Oppofitions, it multiply'd by Difputes, and en-
creas'd by Perfecution. Ten Millions of Martyrs loft
their Lives in the Quarrel; they demonftrated the Truth of
their Creed, by the Conftancy of their invincible Valour;
and though they funk under the Exceſs of Torments, they
overcame; nay, oftentimes by the Force of Miracles they
turn'd
t
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
263
turn'd the very Executioners into Confeffions, and the
Tyrants into Martyrs. In fine, Chriftian Religion has
always appear'd holy, always victorious, always attack'd
by the impious, and always triumphant over Impiety.
Now, if we confider the Means Chrift made uſe of
to raiſe this Empire over the Hearts and Confciences of
Men, we ſhall find them diametrically oppofite to all the
Rules of human Policy, and had not this great Defign
been firft laid, and then carried on by God himſelf, it
muſt have prov'd an abortive Embryon, i. e. an Attempt
contriv'd without Prudence, and follow'd by Difap-
pointment.
First, The Articles to be believ'd were extraordinary,.
and rather feem'd to revolt the Understanding, than to
deferve Credit. A God; One in Effence, and Three in
Perfons, appear'd a Paradox in the Pofition; and God
made Man a Blafphemy to the Jews, and a Folly to the
Gentiles. Tho' the Refurrection of the Dead might be
good News to the virtuous, yet it could meet with no
kind Reception from the vicious; it was more capable
to enflame their Anger, than to work upon their Belief,
and to make them Enemies, than Abettors.
Secondly, The Precepts of Morality crofs more on
Senfe, than the Credenda feem to claſh with Reaſon:
They bridle the Sallies of corrupt Nature, and not only
put a Reſtraint upon our Actions, but even on our De-
fires: They regulate every Motion, and bind up every
Appetite to its good Behaviour; they inculcate nothing
but Mortification, Perfecution and Self-abnegation in this
World, and referve Pleaſures for the future. They
brought into the World a new Syftem of Morality,
they condemn'd thefe Vices which Senfuality had deified,
and canoniz'd thofe Virtues that were perfecuted by
fome, unknown to others, and condemn'd by all. Na-
ture indeed bids us love our Friends, but Chrift com-
mands us to ſtretch our Affections to our Enemies: We
muft return Favours for Injuries, Kindnefs for Hatred,
and revenge Affronts with Pardon: We muft place our
Wealth in Poverty, our Glory in Ignominy, and our Am-
bition in the Conqueft of Heaven. Such mortifying Do-
ctrine in all Probability was more likely to fcare People
from Chriſtianity, than to draw 'em to it; and no doubt
as Gamaliel faid, it had began and ended at the fame
S 4
'Time;
264
The GENTLEMAN Inftruded.
Time; its Rife and its Fall would have had but one
Epoque, had not God by the divine Influence of his
Grace, conquer'd the rebellious Hearts of Men, whilft
the Apoſtles fet upon their Underſtanding with the Force
of Reaſon and Miracles; that Mahometifm fhould di-
late it felf to a prodigious Extent, is not ftrange; it at-
tacks Men on their weak Side, its Maxims fawn on Na-
ture, and flatter Senfuality; it permits Crimes, and pro-
miſes Impunity; and yet it was propagated by the Sword,
and prefs'd on Mankind by Fire, and Devaftation; it
went no farther than the Barbarians Conqueft: And the
Levant, with part of the Indies were Slaves before they
became Mahometans: But the Increaſe of Christianity
is owing neither to Armies, nor Battles; it overcame the
World by fuffering Humility and Perfecution; and God
made ufe of poor, ignorant, and weak Men, for the ac-
complishing this great Defign, that his Power might ap-
pear the greater.
Now, that what I have told you is true, what Surety
do you require? To bid me fhew you thefe Matters of
Fact is childifh; to call for a Mathematical Demonftra-
tion is ridiculous; and both impoffible: We cannot be
affur'd of Things paft, but by oral or written Tradition;
both which ſtand for me. I can bring you Avouchers of
all Ages, and of all Countries: Some writ what they
faw, and feal'd their Writing with their Blood; others
have handed down to Pofterity what they receiv'd from
their Predeceffors: In a Word, a Man that will not be-
lieve Facts contain'd in my fhort Account, by the fame
Rule muſt believe nothing; but to wave farther Difpute,
and not to enter into the vaft Ocean of this Controver-
fy; I will only defire you to grant, that 'tis probable
Chriſtian Religion was reveal'd by God."
Eudox. Well, I grant your Requeft, but then we ſhall
be juſt where we were; for ftill half your Task will re-
main undone: For tho' God has reveal'd this Religion,
by what Logic will you infer, that he commands all Men
to embrace it?
Eufeb. I thank you for minding me of my Duty, and
I will diſcharge my felf of it in a Moment. First,
Chrift bids his Apofties promulge his Law to all Nations:
Then he ſays, that thoſe who are baptiz'd and believe,
fhall be fay'd; but thoſe who will not believe, fhall be
con-
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
265
condemned; that he will laugh at thoſe before the An-
gels, who fhall bluſh to confeſs his Name on Earth: In
fine, his Apoſtle tells us, we can be fav'd in no other
Name but that of Jefus Chrift. Thefe Paffages prove
my Thefts without the trouble of Inference; they are
plain without Glofs or Comment.
Eudox. Right, if you can affure me the Places you
quote are canonical, id eft, either deliver'd by Chriſt, or
at his Command, by his Apoſtles.
Eufeb. Why, Sir, you can no more question the Pla-
ces I cite, than the very Exiſtence of Chrift, and of his
Apoftles; for they ftand on the fame Botton:. Tradition
that eſtabliſhes the one, confirms the other.
Eudox. Well, well, go on.
Eufeb. Thus much therefore I have gain'd; 'tis doubt-
ful whether there be a God or no: 'Tis doubtful whether
Christian Religion be not the only faving Religion in the
World.
Theo. You have; pray make your Advantage.
Eufeb. I will, Sir, and hope to improve my Advantage
fo far, as to demonftrate that Atheiſts and Latitudina-
rians feem to loſe their Reaſon the first Moment they a
bufe it; and that, tho' they pretend to fquare their Be-
lief and Conduct by the Rules of the moft refin'd Pru-
dence, they fail moft wretchedly in the Execution.
Theo. I perceive, Eudoxus, we muſt preſently away to
Bethlem; it will not be amifs to lay in Provifions before
hand: But, Eufebius, you have much Bufinefs on your
Hands, and before that be diſpatch'd your Head may be in
fome Diſorder alſo: To your Task, if you pleaſe,
DIALOGUE V.
It being fuppofed doubtful, whether there be a God,
or whether all Religions are faving: The Atheists
and Latitudinarians expose themselves to extream
Hazard.
Eufeb. WE are agreed at prefent, Theomachus, that
both theſe Propofitions are uncertain: There
is a God; there is no God; and you, Eudoxus, are on the
fame
266
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
fame Terms with me concerning theſe two: Any Religion
is faving. The Chriftian Religion alone is faving: If
therefore it be true there is a God; 'tis certainly falfe
there is no God; but then if it be true there is no God, by
the fame Rule 'tis falfe there is a God: Again, if it be
true all Religions are faving; then 'tis falfe the Chriftian
Religion alone is faving: but if it be true the Chriftian
Religion alone is faving; then 'tis alfo falfe all Religions
are faving: For God who can do all things, difowns the
Power of placing Truth in both Members of a Contra-
diction. Now, Gentlemen, I enter upon my Proof..
When two uncertain Opinions lie before me, I am
oblig'd by all the Laws of Prudence, to chufe that which
cannot prejudice me much, tho' it chance to be falſe, and
will turn to my Advantage if it happen to be true; and
on the contrary, 'tis an infallible Symptom of a crazy
Judgment, to cloſe with that, which, tho' true, promifes
an inconfiderable Gain, and threatens me with Ruin and
Deftruction, if falfe. This may be laid down as a Poſtu-
latum for Practice, and is no lefs evident, than any Axiom
in Mathematicks is for Theory. By this Compass the
wife Stateſman fteers his Courfe; by this Card the thriv-
ing Merchant fails, and the cunning Gamefter models hist
Play by this infallible Maxim. A wife Prince, before he
engages in an Expedition, draws up the whole Proſpect of
Gain, in cafe Succefs crowns his Enterprize; and that of
Lofs, in cafe it end in Difappointment and Miſcarriage;
he weighs his Hopes with his Fears; the Hazard of lo-
fing, with the Probability of gaining; and will never em-
bark himſelf in an Enterprize hand over Head: When he
knows, though Succefs follows his Standard, he fhail only
mafter an inconfiderable Village, or a contemptible
Town; but if it flies over to his Enemies, his whole
Kingdom will be the Reward of their Victory, and the
Price of his Defeat: On the other fide, if a Prince falls
upon his Neighbour, at leaſt with equal Forces, and
knows, if Fortune favours his Arms, he fhall fubdue a
Kingdom; and though it frowns he can only loſe an a-
bandon'd Bourg, and perchance not even that; in this
Cafe, tho' he be difappointed of Succefs, he carries off
the Title of Wife and Prudent; he play'd his Game well,
though he loft the Sett; and every Man must be fo juft
to his Merit, as to confefs his venture was prudent, tho
not fucceſsful.
A Mer-
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 267
A Merchant manages with Prudence and Caution his
Affairs, when he has brought the whole Myſtery of Tra-
ding to fuch a Point, that his Gain may be exceffive, and
his Lofs cannot be confiderable; But fhould a Man of
Traffick and Commerce put twenty thousand Pounds a-
board a leaky Veffel, and fend it to the Indies, through
as many Dangers as there are Shelves in the Sea, or
Winds in the Compafs, with the bare Hopes of gaining
Six-pence; would not you, and all the World poft him
up for a Madman? Would you not think him fitter to
lie in Bethlem, than to walk on the Exchange?
Theom. Yes furely, I would judge him very rich, or
fuperlatively fooliſh; and would duck and drake away
my Money, rather than confide it to his keeping.
Eufeb. Should a Man lay me ten to one at Croſs or
Pile; I fuppofe you would call me wife if I took the
Bett? But then, if I fhould turn the Tables, and ftake a
Million againſt a Farthing; would you not brand me with
Folly and Extravagance? Would you not conclude, that
either I knew not the true Value of Money, or thought
it a Burthen? For, at this rate, I fhould drain a Trea-
fure in a Moment, greater than that of Potofi, and turn
Bankrupt in fpight of good Luck itſelf.
Theom. You can run out in Pofitions that are un-
doubtedly true: Pray wheel about to the Application;
methinks you fhoot at Random.
Eufeb. I am for you prefently; When two Propofitions
are uncertain, by the Rules of Prudence you ought to chuſe
that which cannot prejudice you, tho' it chance to be falſe;
and will infallibly turn to your Advantage, if it prove true.
On the contrary, 'tis an extream piece of Folly to regulate
your Conduct by that Opinion which will lead you into Ruin
and Destruction, if falſe; and cannot better your Fortune,
or improve your Intereft, though true. Now, thofe Propo-
fitions are fuppos'd by us uncertain; There is a God;
There is no God: All Religions are faving; only the
Chriftian Religion is faving. You are therefore both
oblig'd in Prudence to embrace thofe Opinions which
will prove highly advantageous to you, if true; and will
bring no Difadvantage, if falfe.
Theom. We fubfcribe to your Conclufion.
Eufeb. But you embrace thofe Opinions, which, if falſe,
hurry you into eternal Mifery; and, if true, are not able
to
268
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
•
to advantage your Happineſs: What then remains but
this Confequence; that you both forfake thofe glorious
Rules of Prudence and Reaſon fo much extolled by A-
theifts and Latitudinarians, and never regarded when
they act by their own Principles.
૧૨
Theo. Ho, Sir! You have been poring on Monfieur
Paſcal; at leaſt you are not, I am fure of the Society ;;
for thofe good Fathers will not ftoop fo low as to take up
Arguments at fecond Hand, or to uſe Weapons beaten
on that Gentleman's Anvil.
Eufeb. Under Favour; Arguments are not like Cloaths,.
the worſe for ufing: Nay, methinks a Proof that has.
been on frequent Service, is like thofe veteran Soldiers,
who neither ſtart at the Noife of Muskets, nor the Re-
port of Cannons. Sir, let us not wake Monfieur Paſcal,
he fleeps quietly in his Grave; and if he has laid Crimes
at the Jefuits door they were not guilty of, he has long
fince cry'd peccavi; he has anfwer'd for his Letters at
God's Tribunal, and either receives Hell for the Punifh-
ment, or Heaven for the Reward of his Labours: Tho'
fome have queſtion'd his Charity, no Man ever doubted
of his Wit; and I am pretty well convinc'd he prefs'd
the Atheiſt more Home with this Argument, than he
pinch'd the Jefuits with his Dialogues. However, let us
ftep foftly over him; the Gentlemen of Port-Royal are.
good Friends, but dangerous Enemies; and if you attack
one, you draw the whole Fraternity upon you.
Theo. Well, Sir, I deny, tho' this Propofition be falſe,
there is no God, I can receive any Difadvantage.
Eudox. And I am of the fame Opinion, tho' this hap-
pen to be falfe, all Religions are faving.
Eufeb. Let us then, for the prefent, fuppofe this Pro-
pofition is falfe, there is no God; therefore this is true,
there is a God: Now if there be a God, he is juft.
Theo. He is.
Eufeb. Therefore he muft, and will punish thoſe who
tranfgrefs his Law, and queftion his Authority: For he
acts no leſs againſt the Laws of Juftice, who winks at
Crimes, than he who martyrs Innocence: This we call
Tyranny and Oppreffion, that criminal Indulgence
and Partiality; both claſh with Juftice; the one exceeds
a Mean, the other falls fhort of it: Now God cannot act
with Juftice, unleſs the Puniſhment bears fome Proportion
with
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
269
with the Offence: Seeing therefore there is an infinite.
Diſtance between the Offender and the Perſon offended,
the Puniſhment must be in fome fort infinite; but it
cannot be infinite in Intention; therefore it muſt be in
Extenfion, or Continuance.
Befides, the Lives of the moft refin'd Debauchees run
on in a never-interrupted Series of Profperity; they nei-
ther groan under the Pangs of Sickneſs, nor the Throws
of Poverty; they enjoy the Bleffing of Health, and wal-
low in Abundance; their Undertakings, though laid
with Folly, come off with Succefs; and fo they carry
off Profit and Applaufe, though their Conduct deferves
Difappointment and Contempt; they fail on profper-
oufly with all Winds; and if fometimes they ftick upon
a Rock, they only perceive the Danger to get off with
Pleaſure. Now feeing God is juft, and does not drag
out thefe Malefactors to Execution in this World, 'tis
clear they will feel the Weight of his juft Refentment in
the other. So that, Theomachus, if there be a God,
you ſee what awaits you hereafter, Juſtice, Revenge,
Torments, and Mifery.
But then, if Chriftian Religion be true, and the on-
ly faving Religion in the World, the Scene is ſhifted
from bad to worfe, from Horror to Amazement; and
you, Eudoxus,are in the fameMisfortune with your Friend.
Though the Light of Nature tells us God will crown his
Friends in the next World, and chaftife his Enemies; yet
the Light of Nature cannot particularize either the Re-
wards or Puniſhments. This Arcanum we owe to Divine
Revelation alone, and we have Grounds fufficient, at
leaft, to make it highly probable he has reveal'd it; and
if it be true, that he has, the Atheiſt and Latitudinarian
play Crefs and Pile at an exceffive Difadvantage; they
ftake an Eternity of Happiness, and another of Mifery
againſt a Bauble; for they cannot lofe the firft without
falling foul on the fecond; like accurfed Cain, they
will be banish'd from the Face of God, and carry on
their Foreheads a perpetual Mark of his Vengeance,
and their Reprobation: They will fry in Pitch and Flame,
in Brimstone without Pity, without Compaffion, and,
what is worſe, without Term, without Annihilation;
and can Fancy frame a greater Torment, than always to
be barr'd of the Sight of God? And always to defire a
Glimpfe
270
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Glimpse of that infinite Beauty, than always to burri
and rage with Devils, and always to defpair of Releaſe-
ment; to theſe ſtrange Misfortunes do Atheists and La-
titudinarians expofe themfelves, if there be a God; and
if Christian Religion be the only faving Religion in the
World; and, for ought you know, both may be true.
Theo. You follow your Adverfaries with fo much
Heat, that you wound your felf in the Purfuit; your ve-
ry Arguments deſtroy your Hypothefis; and whilft you
fuppofe there may be a God, you very learnedly demon-
ftrate there is none.
Eufeb. You have a mind to fport, but Jefts never im-
prove into Arguments, nor can Raillery grow up into
Reaſon.
Theo. Sir, you miſtake, I am not in a jefting Humour:
Pray, if there be a God, is he not merciful?
Eufeb. He is.
Theo. And if you fuppofe a God, and at the fame time
prove, that he is unjuft, unmerciful, nay, tyrannical and
favage; do you not pull down with one Hand, what you
raiſe with the other? Does not your Proof fly in the
Face of your Pofition? You fay, if there be a God, I
fhall feel the Weight of his exafperated Anger for all Eter-
nity: I fhall glow in Pitch, and boil in Brimftone: What
is this but to clap the moft exorbitant Tyranny on Mer-
cy it felf? To blend Cruelty with Meeknefs? Barbarity
with Juftice? To fink infinite Mercy into Cruelty? And
to turn God into a Chimera?
You may perchance fcare poor Children, or filly Wo-
men with your Quevedo's Vifions of Hell, and fwell his
Fancies into divine Revelation; but Men are not ſo eaſily
impos'd upon. I know, if there be a God, he is merciful;
and that it is not Mercy's Office to butcher, but to par-
don: Befides, you confefs, that God is the Model of all
Perfection; that our Virtue is but a dark Beam of his.
How then can he command us, as you fay he does, to re-
venge Affronts with Favours? To lay down our Lives for
our Enemies; when he profecutes his with Racks and
Flames? Either therefore there is no Hell, or no Mercy
in God; and then there will be no God: Take which
part of the Dilemma you pleafe; I fhall be pretty ſecure
againft future Contingencies: So that you fee we Atheifts
and Libertines walk on more even Ground than you ima-
gine.
Eufeb
!
The GENTLEMA N Inftructed.
271
Eufeb. I might return your own Argument upon you;
and fhew that you run his Mercy fo high, that you quite
difcard his Juftice: But I will wave this Advantage, and
fingle out your Reaſons, which rather amaze, than con-
vince. You fay God's Goodneſs hinders him from taking
any cognizance of Crimes in the next World; there
fore it is lawful to trample upon his Majeſty, to controul
his Orders, and to fpurn at his Commands: He who fo
dotes on our Perfons, cannot revenge the Offences;
therefore Blafphemy, Murders, Adulteries, and all
thoſe Crimes that outrage Nature, and put even Atheiſts
to the Bluſh, are but indifferent Actions; they have no
more harm than what flows from Vifion, Prejudice, and
Imagination; for were they Crimes, they would deferve
Puniſhment in the next World: Now Mercy ties God's
Hands, according to your new Syftem, and abfolves the
Criminal. Hence it follows, that ſeeing no Action de-
ſerves Puniſhment, no Actions are Crimes; and by con-
fequence there is no Law, for every Crime is a Tranf-
greffion of the Law. This is a comfortable Doctrine for
Whores and Rogues, and you deferve a Penfion from
Goals and Baudy-houſes. Such Helps as theſe keep up
the Trade, inrich the Hangman, and break down all the
Barriers of Shame, to let into the World a Deluge of
Lewdnefs and Abominations. Thus whilft you plead
for God's Mercy, you folicit for Vice, and turn Advo-
cate for Impiety.
I grant God is good and merciful; and we need no
other Evidence to illuftrate this Truth, but that you
breathe and enjoy the common Bleffing of Mankind :
Had not God rather follow'd the mild Inclinations of his
Mercy, than the more fevere Laws of his Juftice, Pu-
niſhment had trod on the Heels of your Crimes; he had
tore you from your Debaucheries, in flagranti, and left
not a Moment between the Sin and your Damnation:
But, Sir, he has forgone his Right, and taken more mild
Methods; he has bore your Infolence thefe many Years
with Patience, and call'd you to Repentance, when he
might have deliver❜d you over to Puniſhment: No, I am
told what bold Returns of Ingratitude you have made
for this exceffive Kindneſs: You have, more than once,
in the very Face of the Sun, to the Scandal not only of
Religion, but of Humanity, fpit in the Face of this in-
finite
972
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
!
finite Mercy: You have burlefqued his Goodneſs, and
profanely deny'd he ever faw your Crimes, or hated 'em ;
becauſe he did not revenge them on the Spot, and put
an end to your Life and Blafphemies the fame Moment:
Yet after all theſe flaming Attempts againſt his Preroga-
tive, and Perſon, you not only live, but receive continu-
al Favours from his Munificence; he expects only a pec-
cavi to feal your Pardon, and to cancel your Offences;
but if you will ftand to your abominable Principles, and
droll upon his Menaces; if you will pufh on Òbftinacy
to the Grave, he will foften your hard Heart in Flames,
and teach you, by a diſmal Experience, that he wants not
Mercy, but that you do not deſerve to feel the Effects
of fo amiable an Attribute.
In fhort, God is good, becauſe he created ſo vile a
Creature as Man, to fo high a Fortune, becauſe when
our firſt Parent Adam withdrew himſelf from Duty, and
engag'd his whole Pofterity in open Rebellion, he was
pleas'd to affume our Nature, to expiate our Sins with hist
Blood, and to breathe into our Souls a new Life of Grace
by his Death; becauſe he fets a thouſand Wheels on work,
to draw back Sinners to Repentance, and generally gives
them Time, and always Grace, to look into their irregu-
lar Conduct, and to deteft it: Thefe are undoubted
Marks of a moſt folid Goodneſs; and by this Square God
commands us to model our Behaviour towards our Ene-
mies, and he has laid before us fo compleat a Pattern, that
we fhall never be able to reach it.
But then God has regard to Juftice, even when he
ſeems to abandon himſelf totally to the Conduct of Mer-
cy; for thefe Perfections which ftand at the Helm of
Government are never at Variance; their Advice is uni-
form, and both confpire to baniſh Confufion, and to efta-
blifh Order; for God's Mercy is nothing elſe, but a fin-
cere Intention to procure a Creature good, fo far only
as Order will permit: Therefore, when a Creature has
difturb'd this Order, God's Mercy purfues the Crimi-
nal, he offers him his Grace, and invites him a thouſand
times to re-eſtabliſh by Repentance, the Order he had
broken by his Ditobedience: And then, if he will not
hearken to thefe kind Exhortations, Juſtice forces him
to re-fettle it by Torments; for God, tho' he be Omni-
potent, cannot permit Diforder: He muft either deſtroy
?
it
The GENTLEMAN Înſtructed.
273
it in Time, by forgiving Sins, or in Eternity, by puniſh-
ing them. In fine, Sir, Mercy governs in this World,
but its Commiffion extends not to the other; there Ju-
ftice reigns alone, and either diftributes Rewards or in-
flicts Puniſhment. Much good therefore may your Di-
lemma do you: There is a God, and He is merciful;
There is a God, and He is just. If that be a Perfection,
fo is this, nor are they incompatible: For tho' one Vice
may jarr with another, Virtues are of a more peaceable
Complexion, they live in Union, and can lodge in the
fame Breaſt.
Theom. I don't deny, but that Offences againſt the
divine Majefty may deferve fome Puniſhment; and I
know that if there be a God, he has Power to chaſtize
as well as to reward; but an eternal Puniſhment is very
lafting, and looks more like an Act of Tyranny than
Juftice. I could allow well enough of a round Fit of
the Gout, or Stone; or let God puniſh my Crimes on
my Cattle with Murrains, Plagues and Mortality, I am
contented: But an eternal Torment for one eſcape of
Nature, for one Sally of Paffion, can only proceed from
Excefs of Cruelty.
Eufeb. We fhould live under a moft happy Govern-
ment, were all our Judges of your foft Difpofition; what
merry Days fhould we enjoy if Murtherers were only pil-
lory'd? Sodomites whipt? And Traytors confin'd to their
Lodgings? Such fevere Laws, would no doubt diſarm
Vice, difcourage Villany, and put all Roguery out of
Countenance. But, Sir, tell me, would not fuch over-
ftrain'd Mercy let loofe the whole Kennel of Abominati-
ons? Would it not cut off all the Lines of Communica→
tion between Man and Man, and turn all into a Heap of
Confufion? Would not you judge thofe more guilty who
made fuch Laws, than thoſe who broke 'em? I am ſure
you would call out for fome Grains of Severity, and ap-
ply a more violent Remedy to cure the agonizing Go-
vernment. Yet you are in an ill Humour, becauſe God
does not ſteer his Conduct by thofe condefcending Me-
thods you condemn; and if he did, you would as cer-
tainly arraign his Mercy, as now you impeach his Ju-
ftice. In a Word, Theomachus, as I told you above,
there is an infinite Diſtance between God and Man;
therefore the Malice of every Sin is as Divines hold, in
T
fome
274
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
fome Sort infinite; therefore it deferves a Puniſhment, in
fome Sort infinite. But it can be only infinite in Dura-
tion; therefore every mortal Sin deſerves an eternal Pu-
niſhment. How then dare you faften on God Cruelty
and Barbariſm, when he only proportions the Pain to the
Offence. Sir, take my Advice: 'Tis more fecure for
you to repent, than to complain; 'tis Madneſs to play
with the fupream Being, Ingratitude to treat ill the beſt
of Friends, Frenzy to provoke the ſtrongeſt Enemy.
❤
Theom. If I carry God's Mercy too high, you ſtretch
his Juſtice beyond all Proportion. What Equality can
you diſcover between a momentary Offence, and a never-
ending Pain? Between a Malice that has fome Bounds,
and a Puniſhment that has none? Methinks, at leaſt an
Age of Torments may expiate a Day of unlawful Plea-
fure: But to rack and torture a fhort-liv'd Frailty, eter-
nally, is to ftrain Juftice to the very pitch of Cruelty.
Eufeb. No doubt, Juftice always proportions the Pu-
niſhment to the Offence; but then, this Proportion can-
not confiſt in an equal Duration of the Crime, and the
Pain. I have known a Perjury that pafs'd through a
D—'s Teeth in a Moment, pillory'd a whole Hour:
And I have ſeen the guilty Patient run the Gantlet from
Newgate to Tyburn. Yet tho' the Puniſhment was of a
longer Continuance, than the Oath; who complain'd of
Cruelty, but thofe very Rafcals that deferv'd the Cor-
rection? Does not Juſtice ſometimes take Criminals by
the Ears? And make the Guilty compound for their
Tranfgreffions, with the Lofs of thofe innocent Members,
which feldom return to their Owners. Felons, Murther-
ers and Traytors by the Law of Nations fuffer Death,
that is a Puniſhment in ſome kind eternal: And if the
Soul be mortal, as the Atheiſts contend, abfolutely ſo;
becauſe it forces the Criminals into a State of Nothing,
in which they muft eternally remain. The Vote of
Mankind runs therefore againſt your Notion of Equity;
and the Atheiſt's Idea of Juftice is no more defenfible,
than his Practice. Nay, Sir, if any Crime againſt a
Prince or the Commonwealth can juftly deferve Death,
one againſt God as juftly deferves Hell eternally.
For as on the one Side the Grandeur, Majefty, and
Perfections of God furpaſs infinitely thofe of the greateſt
and moſt abfolute Monarch that ever breath'd: So on
the
-1
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 275
the other, our Obligation to obey, reſpect and love this
auguft Mafter, rifes with his Greatnefs. Therefore an
Offence againſt God, exceeds that againſt a Prince, at
leaſt terminative in the fame Proportion that the Perfecti-
ons of the one excel the Bafeneſs of the other. There-
fore as there can be no Compariſon between the Offen-
ces, there muſt be none between the Puniſhments. Now
let the Puniſhment of a Crime againſt God be never fo
great, if it be not eternal, there muft of neceffity be fome
Proportion between it and Death, the juft Puniſhment
of a Treafon againſt the Perſon of a temporal Prince :
Therefore no Puniſhment can equal an Offence againſt
God unleſs it be eternal.
Theo. You fuppofe when we recreate Nature we erect
a high Court of Justice, and commiffion the Judge to ar-
raign him; this is a Theological Speculation. No, no,
we are ſo far from queſtioning his Authority, or impeach-
ing his Majefty, that we do not even think of him in
our Debauchees; we intend not to diſpleaſe him, but to
pleaſe our Appetites, to regale our Senfes, and enjoy the
Creature.
Eufeb. This is an excellent Plea for Thieves and Mur-
derers; and, would it hold, the Government might ſhut
up Newgate, and pull down the Gallows; for few High-
waymen think of her Majefty, or her Laws, while they
murder and take Purfes on the Road. Let us ſuppoſe
one of thofe Gentlemen on the Ladder, haranguing thus
the Spectators. Good People! I am brought to an un-
timely, and, what is worfe, to a moft fhameful End,
against all the Laws of Juftice. I was brought to the Bar
for affronting her Majefty: The Jury has found me
guilty; and the Judge condemn'd me. Now I proteft,
I never harbour'd an unbefeeming Thought of her Ma-
jefty. I have ferv'd my Sovereign at the Expence of my
Blood; and was always ready to maintain her juft Rights
and Prerogatives with my Life and Fortune. I follow'd
my Mafter to Steenkerk, and Norwinde, and loft fome
Fleſh, and my Money in his Service: At my return, I
was put to my Shifts, and could meet with no Relief,
but on the Highway: Here I providentially fell upon a
prefent Supply, I truft up a Brace of Lawyers, and ca-
fed a folitary Parfon; but in all my Expeditions, I ne-
ver dreamt of her Majefty: How then could I affront or
offend.
T 7
276
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
offend her? What Relation is there between the Princess
and the Subject, that an Injury offer'd one, muſt re-
bound on the other? What think you? Would this loyal
Speech reverſe the Sentence?
Theom. No: I think Mr. Sheriff would bid Jack-ketch
do his Office.
Euſeb. I am of your Opinion: But then has not this
Knight of the Queen's Highway an Atheiſt's Plea? He
cries not guilty, good People! Becauſe in the actual Tranf-
greffion of the Queen's Laws, he never thought of her
Majeſty; and you plead for Impunity; becauſe, whilſt
you outrag'd Nature, you never dreamt of God. Sir,
God is abfolute Monarch of the Univerfe: He owes his
Title to Sovereignty, neither to Birth, nor Election:
His Right is founded in his boundleſs Perfections. Thoſe
Laws of Nature you tranfgrefs without Scruple, or Re-
morfe, are of his making, and to controul his Orders,
is to affront his Perfon; fo that though Sinners do not
queſtion his Authority, at leaſt they defpife it: Now for
a vile Worm to contend with, and dare fo great, ſo aw-
ful a Majefty, is to overfhoot Infolence it ſelf.
Theom. Well; God's Juftice, together with Devils,
Flames, Darkneſs, and Defpair, would difcompofe me,
cou'd I perfuade my felf, my Soul wou'd revive my Bo-
dy; but alas, we enter into the World like Beaſts, and
make as inglorious an Exit; our Bodies fall into Duft,
and our Souls into Nothing: Twenty Years hence I fhall
be, what I was a thouſand Years ago, a meer non ens,
uncapable either of Pain or Pleaſure.
Eufeb. This Evafion chills my Blood. What can't
you defend your Caufe without drawing upon Na-
ture? Nor prove you are no Fool, without confeffing
your ſelf a Beaſt? I could eafily force you from this Re-
trenchment, by demonftrating the Immortality of the
Soul; but I leave this Enterprize to a more convenient
Seaſon. In the mean time, I only defire to know whe-
ther you are fure, the Soul ends with the laft Breath;
without certainty, you are juft where you was, expos'd
to that miferable State, that refpects Atheiſts, if there
be a God. Tell me then, are you fure Mens Souls are
mortal?
Theom. When I compare the Operations of Beafts with
thofe of Men, methinks we ftand on the fame Level,
yet
་
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
277
yet a Voice within tells me I am of a more noble Ex-
traction; and this foft Whiſper peſters my Brain with
Doubts, and my Heart with Fears.
Eufeb. Perchance therefore your Soul is immortal:
Perchance there is a God, a Hell, and a Heaven: Per-
chance Chriſtianity is the only faving Religion in the
World. Now if thefe Things are real, (and for ought
you know they are) what will become of Atheiſts, and
Latitudinarians? How nicely will they have manag'd
their Affairs, when they fee themſelves ftript of all Title
to Heaven, and find an eternal Habitation prepared in
Hell? You fee what Hazard you run; and therefore I
must conclude your Conduct is fooliſh, and mad to
Frenzy; unless you can make good to Evidence, that if
your Opinions prove true, you fhall enjoy fome Good,
that counterpoifes the eternal Lofs of Heaven, nay, and
the exorbitant Tortures of Hell; for to rifque the Main
without good Warrant and Caution, is Rafhneſs, and
even Fury beyond Extravagance. I have laid open the
juft Subject of your Fears; favour me with a full Pro-
fpect of your Hopes.
DIALOGUE VI.
The Advantage Atheiſts and Latitudinarians can expect
if there be no God; and if all Religions are faving, is
not comparable to the Disadvantage they fear, if there
be a God; and if one Religion alone be faving.
Theom. SIR, you have affign'd me an eafy Task, and
I undertake it with Pleafure; you have
drawn up a frightful Bill of our Loffes, if there be a God,
and if one Religion only be faving: I will balance it with
another of our Gain, if we are in the Right; and ther
you'll confefs our Affairs are in a better Pofture than you
imagine, and perchance than you wifh: If we venture
much, we hope for more; the Harveft balances our
Labour and Expence: I know not through what Pro-
ſpective you view the Pleafures of Life, methinks they
prefent us a fine Proſpect; and in fpight of the moſt fevere
T 3
Phi-
}
278
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Philofophy, dart forth too melting Charms to be contemp-
tible. No doubt Life is a great Bleffing, 'tis above Pur-
chaſe, and cannot be over-rated; but then Pleaſure alone
raiſes its Value: Diveft it of pleafing Senfations, and
'twill become a Burthen. Were I fure never to be pleas'd,
I ſhould unwiſh my felf, and bribe fome Bravo to dif
patch me; Ifhould fall out with my Existence, and long
to return to my quondam Nothing. How valuable then
is Pleaſure, that can fet fo vaft a Price on ſo mean a
Thing; and give it the firft Place in our Wiſhes, that
would take up the laſt in our Defires? I know ill-natur'd
Philofophers, and vifionary Divines, have employ'd their
Rhetorick to run down Pleaſure, and to talk it out of
Countenance. They have libell'd it thefe thouſand Years,
and attack'd it with Auxiliaries drawn from Doggerel and
Invective; yet it ftands its Ground, and maintains its
Poft with Reputation. Time, that lays open the Defects
of other Things, has, it ſeems, diſcover'd fome Perfecti-
ons in Pleaſure, for it is now courted more than ever;
and this fair Helen has more Gallants than that of Greece:
It grows not cheap under Trial, but rifes under Ufe, and
Experiment; it neither gluts, nor furfeits; its Beauty
is always in the Flower, and out of the Reach of Age.
Cities have chang'd Places, Empires have funk under the
Weight of their own Greatneſs, new Cuftoms have
worn out the Memory of the old; but the defire of
Pleaſure has never vary'd: This runs in all our Veins.
We took it from our Fathers, and bequeath it to our
Children; 'tis the prime End of Nature, and almoſt the
fole Object of Inclination. Now it feems ftrange that
all Men fhould dote of Deformity, and run into the
Embracements of Nothing; that they fhould prize above
all Things, what is below Price; and fo turn Fools or
Madmen for Company. You will perchance tell me,
that I am miſtaken in my Calculation, and marfhal up a
Brigade of Anchorites to confute my Arithmetick. Thefe
Men, you'll fay, made War upon Pleafure: They fafted
and difciplin'd themſelves into a Loathing of it; and
fometimes mur'd up a Senſe to fortify the Avenues a-
gainſt fo vile and fo treacherous an Enemy. Thefe Men
therefore, who thus perfecuted Pleaſure, were neither
fond of its Charms, nor well convinc'd of its Excellence.
But,
1
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 279
But, according to the Proverb, One Swallow makes
not a Summer; your rare Example of Abftinence and
Mortification cannot weaken my univerfal Induction :
They leave it in its entire Force, nay, they ftrengthen
it; for you gaze on fuch Men as Miracles, and propofe
them to the World, rather to be admir'd than imitated:
Nay, they purfu'd Pleaſure whilſt they renounc'd it; and
fo only fhov'd it away with one Hand, and drew it to
them with the other: For as there is oftentimes a fecret
Pride even in Humility, fo there is a Pleaſure in Self-de-
nial; and all that you can prove by thefe Examples is,
that Mens Palates have different Contextures; and what
tickles gently fome, grates upon others: In a Word, to
queftion the Goodness of Pleaſure, is to deny Experi-
ment, and contradict Demonſtration.
ons.
Thus, Sir, you ſee if Atheiſts hazard fomething, they
hope for more: Pleafure, Satisfaction, and a moft hap-
py Life, balance all thoſe Miſeries which may befal us
after Death. For my part, I cannot think, that the fond-
eft Imagination can over-flourish, or even paint to the
Life, the Happineſs of thofe who never check Nature,
but give her the Reins, and follow blindly her Directi-
They can regale Ambition, feaft Revenge, and
treat Senfuality with Splendour: Thefe odd Notions of
Good and Evil, fume into the Head, they raife Damps
on the Confcience, and dafh Delights with Gall and
Wormwood. If we muſt pen up our Appetites, and
confine 'em to Limits, adieu Content. For in Reality,
we properly enjoy Nothing, when we refufe our Paffions
any Thing. But when we follow the Bent of Nature,
and fwim down the Current of Inclination, 'tis then we
poffefs a Blits equal to your fo much talk'd of Heaven:
But with this only Difference, that it wants Immortali-
ty. Now Eufebius, where is your Folly? If our Opini-
ons are falfe, 'tis fure we ſhall be undone hereafter: But
then, if they prove true; our Happiness will be greater
than our Mifery can be, tho' they prove falfe: For if we
fide with the Belief of a God, and of Chriftian Religi-
on, and live up to the Rigour of thofe Beliefs, we difcard
our felves of all the Pleaſures of Life, nay, and turn it in-
to a Torture. Now Miſeries in the Hand, pinch more
than Miferies in Reverfion.
T 4
Eudox.
280 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Eudox.Theomachus,you have forgot the topping Branch
of our Privilege: If we believe a God, and the Myfte-
ries of Chriſtianity, we muft enflave Reaſon, and regu-
late our Opinions by the Rules of Revelation: We muſt
both fhackle and hoodwink our Underſtanding,__and
ſtretch 'em on the Rack, to force 'em to deny first Prin-
ciples. But when we act by our Maxims, we breathe a
more open and free Air: We can tofs our Affent from
one fide of the Contradiction to the other: And believe
to Day what we ſhall disbelieve to Morrow. Now this
intellectual Freedom is of a finer Nature, than any Plea-
fure of the Senſe; 'tis an Appendix of Beatitude, and
a Prerogative of the Deity. Add this, Eufebius, to what
Theomachus has already produc'd, and you will have lit-
tle Reaſon to lay at our Door Folly and Raſhneſs.
Eufeb. I cannot well determine, Theomachus, whether
your Speech deferves an Anfwer, or Indignation: Such
daring Impieties furpriſe me. The Practice of Lewdneſs
and Senfuality is both fhameful and fcandalous: But to
turn Advocate for Brutality, to canonize Debaucheries,
and idolize Murders, Thefts and Adulteries, is to throw
down the Incloſures that feparate Men from Beafts,
to clap Reaſon in the Dungeon, and Senſe on the
Throne.
Had Bulls, Boars and Goats the Power to harangue
in our Days, as in thofe of fop, they would have dif-
play'd their Rhetorick on the fame Subject; but, I doubt
whether they would have ſcrew'd it up to your Pitch of
Excellency. No,no; they would not have had Wit enough
to crowd fo many Follies, Blafphemies and Impieties in
fo ſmall à Compafs; nor Impudence to flouriſh on Lewd-
nefs in the Prefence of Men.
So long as we keep within the Bounds of Moderati-
on and Law, Pleaſure may be tolerated; yet let unlaw-
ful Defires appear never fo charming, they are certainly
contemptible, becauſe unwarrantable; and he who buys
a Satisfaction, tho' never fo glittering, at the Expence
of Duty, is fure to over-purchaſe: The outward Appea-
rance of Things cannot be the true Standard of their
Value. Tinfel glitters no less than Gold, and a falfe
Guinea often fhines more than a true one. We muſt
wath off the Fucus, before we can frame a right Judg-
ment, or diftinguiſh Sterling from counterfeit Coin. Plea-
fureş
3
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 281
fures affect the Organ well enough, but then they grate
upon Reaſon; they always give us a troubleſome Fare-
well, and make room for Repentance. I am confident,
Sir, that the Ghoſts of your paft Delights have ſome-
times diforder'd you, more than the living Pleaſures di-
verted you, and you have wiſh'd undone in a Calm, whạt
you did in a violent Tranfport of Paffion.
A Man, as you ſay, who was fure never to be pleas'd,
would have no great Reaſon to be over-fond of his Be-
ing. For Pain and Suffering without any Relation to
another World are very troubleſome Advantages; but
then, who can be pleas'd when nothing but Riot and
Luxury deferves no Exiſtence? He is a Shame to Na-
ture, and a perfect Scandal to his kind.
You would fain draw a Proof for the Excellence of
Pleaſure from the Multitude of its Abettors: But you
do not confider, that you have chofen an untoward Me-
dium; for Judgments are not to be fram'd by Practice,
but Reafon. The Generality, you know, ftick in the
Surface of Things, and are ten Times more bigotted
with Appearance than Reality. Ask the high-flown De-
bauchees, and they will confefs their Judgments jarr with
their Conduct; they even condemn Wickedneſs, whilft
they purſue it.
But Pleaſure never gluts, never furfeits. Why then
are you always on the Change? Why do you feaft your
Paffions with new Ragoufts, but to whet your Appetite
with Variety, and to entertain it with freſh Appea-
rances?
To fay we are as eager in the Purfuit of Pleaſure as
our Forefathers were, proves only we carry about us the
fame Corruption; that our Nature bends to ill, as theirs
did; and that we are all Children of the fame rebellious
Parent. Their Judgments varied from their Practice,
and fo do ours. They fought out Vaults to ſhade their
Impieties, and buried their Abominations in Darkness
and Privacy: And this is a fhrewd Argument, that they
did not efteem much thofe Things they blufh'd at.
Believe it, Sir, I am able to bring more than Divines and
Anchorets, who have lafh'd unlawful Pleafures, and bur-
lefqu'd 'em. I could produce fome of your own Tribe
and Difcipline, who deferve Credit, becauſe they ipeak
upon Experience, I took a Turn the other Day to the
King's
282 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
}
King's Bench to vifit a Friend; I found him in the Com-
pany of fome other Gentlemen, who had taken up their
Lodgings in that melancholy Retirement. Difcontent fat
on their Faces; every Pofture mark'd Impatience, and
every Word both Repentance and Defpair: They had
out-liv'd their Eftates, and (what was worſe) all hopes
of regaining 'em: I pity'd their Misfortune; but when
I understood they had raffled 'em for Wine, and barter'd
'em for Miffes, my Pity turn'd almoft into Indignation:
I thought with my felf they deferv'd no Eftate, who
knew fo ill to manage one; but at leaft, faid I with a
Smile, you have had Pleaſures for your Money; and
you feel even now this Satisfaction, that once you were
happy. Quite contrary, faid they, our former Felicity
preffes harder upon us than our prefent Mifery: And then
they run out into fuch Invectives againſt criminal Plea-
fure, and rated Debauchery, with ſuch a Pathos and
Energy, that I eafily faw they ſpoke from the Heart, and
- declaim'd in earneſt.
I believe thoſe Gentlemen who lie under the Surgeon's
Hands, who are ty'd up to Fafting and Mercury, and
drivil out in a Stove the Relicks of your incomparable
Pleafures, are much of the Coop'd-up Squire's Mind.
For tho' the Vintners and Harlots have not invaded their
Purſes, nor Luxury like a Whirl-pool fwallow'd their
Lands, yet Difeafes have over-fet Health, and almoft
funk their Bodies into the Grave. But I have follow'd
you too far, 'tis time to leave you; only I will add,
that I cannot eſteem that Great, which makes me Lefs,
and tumbles me below my Level. Reaſon is a Preroga-
tive, no Nuiſance; and I am not difpos'd to mortgage
it for a Mifs, or Claret.
For all your boafting, I fear Atheism cannot fupprefs
thofe odd Notions of Good and Evil; they alarm your
Fears, awake your Confcience, and fprinkle your De-
lights with the unpalatable Ingredient of Pitch and Sul-
phur; but if they do not, it only follows that your Un-
derſtanding is drown'd in Senfuality, that your Wit is
funk into Frenzy, and that you are ftark mad with your
Mahometical Happineſs.
I confefs, Eudoxus, that the Pleaſure of the Mind has
fome Value; it appears better fhap'd than that of Senſe;
it fhines brighter; it's longer liv'd; and befides has no-
thing
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
1
283
1
thing of Miftinefs, or Brutality: But then I cannot con-
ceive, why this Satisfaction muſt be ſolely ingrofs'd by
Atheiſts and Latitudinarians: You fay we muſt enflave
our Underſtanding when we embrace Chriftianity, and
regulate our Judgments by divine Revelation: But, pray,
is this fuch an Outrage to Reaſon? Does not God know
perfectly all Things?
Eudox. He does.
Eufeb. Does not his Revelation agree with his Know-
ledge?
Eudox. It does; for certainly he cannot tell a Lye.
Eufeb. Now; God never commands us to believe any
Myſtery, unleſs it be evidently credible he has reveal'd
it; from whence it follows, that Chriftians are fo far
from hoodwinking, or forcing Reafon, that Men cannot
act more rationally; for thus they proceed. Whatever
God reveals is true: But God has reveal'd the Mystery of
the Trinity: Therefore it is true. The firft Propofition
is evident: The fecond is evidently credible: For till the
Revelation appear evidently credible, no Chriftian lies
under any Obligation of believing; and when it comes
up to fuch an Evidence, no Man can disbelieve it, with-
out Imprudence. 'Tis true, the Mystery remains in
Darkneſs and Obfcurity; tho' I believe that God is One,
and Three, yet I am ignorant of the Manner; nor am I
oblig❜d to know it: God has left that as a Subject of
Difpute, to exercife our Wits, not our Faith.
Gentlemen, you ſee when Accounts are adjuſted, you
are not fo much before-hand with the World, as you ima-
gined; but to favour you more than I am oblig'd; let it
be granted, that Pleafures are ten times more valuable
than you pretend; at leaſt they cannot out-laft Time,
they move towards their Period, and can accompany
you no farther than the Grave; when once you have lain
on that cold Bed, Pleaſures take Wing, and diſappear;
your Body is made over to the Worms, and (if there be
a God) your Soul will be deliver'd into the Hands of un-
merciful Devils. Sir, tell me, would you accept of the
Empire of the Univerfe, together with all the beastial
Paftimes of Sardanapalus, or Heliogabalus, if you were
fure afterwards to be ftretch'd on Racks, to live on Stench,
and to be regal'd with Toads and Vipers for the Space of
twenty Years?
Theo
284
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Theo. No furely.
Eufeb. Yet every Atheift, or Latitudinarian, cannot
hope for Crowns or Scepters; they cannot gratify their
Senfuality with fo high-feafon'd Lewdnefs, as thoſe two
wretched Princes; notwithstanding (if there be a God)
they must buy their minute Satisfaction, neither with
Tortures, nor Toads, nor the Torments of twenty Years,
but of Eternity: If therefore you will not purchafe a tem-
poral Enjoyment with a temporal Puniſhment; why will
you buy a temporal and fleeting Satisfaction, with a Pu-
niſhment that is eternal?
Theo. Pain is a very lively Perception, it flaſhes upon
the Organ with a vaft Impetuofity, and puts our whole
Machine in Diſorder; 'tis ftronger than Pleaſure, and
keeps it at a Diſtance, when we have it not, and turns
it away when we have it: Hence I would not take twen-
ty Years of Satisfaction, with a fure Reverſion of twenty
Years of Pain; for this will certainly more afflict Na-
ture, than that can pleaſe it: But the Pains of Hell and
Pleaſures of Heaven are wholly uncertain, and theſe of
Atheiſts affur'd; fo that tho' thofe Pains, compar'd pre-
cifely with the Pleafures, are infinitely greater; yet if
you confider thoſe in a State of Uncertainty, and theſe
in a State of Certainty, we muft give theſe the Prece-
dence; and this is conformable to that capital Maxim;
Keep what is certain, and leave what is uncertain. Give
me leave to frame this fhort Syllogifm: 'Tis Imprudence
to part with what is certain, for what is uncertain; but
the Pleasures of Heaven and Pains of Hell are uncertain;
and thoſe of this World are certain; therefore 'tis Impru-
dence to quit the Pleafures of this Life out of Fear of fal-
ling into Hell, or out of Hope of flying into Heaven.
Eufeb. The Force of your Difcourfe is wound up in
your Maxim, and the Syllogifm is but a meer Deducti-
on; fo that if your Foundation be weak, the Superftruc-
ture falls to the Ground: Now, Sir, I muft tell you,
your grand Principle is not univerfally true, and by Con-
fequence unfit for the Poft you have put it in; unleſs it
be ftrain'd, and us'd with Difcretion, it proves nothing
but Sophiſtry.
For, does not the Husbandman cultivate and manure
his Ground at the certain Expence of both his Eafe and
Money? Yet his Gain is as uncertain as the Winds and
Seafons
+
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
285
Seafons. Another takes up at the Temple; he finks his
Purſe, and beats his Brain with plodding over Cook and
Littleton; he pores Night and Day upon the Code, and
confounds himſelf with the Inftitutions and Pandects, and
hopes to beat a Fortune out of his Labour and Expences;
yet tho' he certainly lays out his Money, and facrifices
his Repofe, he is not certain to reach his Pretenfions ;
his Expectation may be baulk'd, and after twenty Years,
he may be no farther advanc'd in the World, than he was
the first Day he ſet out.
Our Merchants put to Sea with a good Cargo; they pur-
fue Profit into the Indies; the Danger of their Perfons
is certain, they expoſe their Commodities to all the Ca-
fualities of Wind and Weather, that lay before very ſafe
in Magazines; the Gain is ill affur'd: Do not then theſe
Men confute your Maxims by Practice? And who ever
indicted them of Imprudence, or tax'd 'em of Folly?
In fine, Sir, the whole Commerce of Life rouls upon
this Principle; that oftentimes 'tis the part of a prudent
Man to quit what is certain, for what is uncertain; and
were it otherwife, there would be fo little Buſineſs in
the World, that Mankind might fit crofs arm'd, or fall
together by the Ears to avoid Idlenefs: Mens Under-
ſtandings would grow downward, their Courage would
fhrink up; Induſtry would turn off in Lethargy, and
the whole World would fall back into its primitive Ig-
norance.
Theo. I know the Principle comprehends a Latitude,
and is not true without Reſtriction.
Eufeb. A little Patience if you pleafe; when I have
convicted it of Error, you fhall have time to argue, why
Sentence ſhould not pafs upon it.
When the Good we
hope is equal, or inconfiderably greater, than what we
hazard; it would be a piece of the higheſt Extravagance,
to expoſe what we poffefs in Peace and Quiet, for that
which is only equal, or inconfiderably greater, and withal
very uncertain: If by the Lofs of the certain we chance
to procure the uncertain, we are but juſt where we were ;
but if we fail in our Purfuit, we fhall not only fall ſhort
of what we hop'd for, but even of what we poffeffed :
In this Cafe your Axiom may be allow'd of, but then
it fupports not your Caufe; for there is no Proportion
between the moft luſcious Pleaſures of Life, which you
fup-.
186 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
ſuppoſe certain, and thoſe of Heaven you fuppofe un
certain; for thoſe are built on the tottering Foundation
of Time, and in fpite of Care, within the Space of fome
Years, muft touch their fatal Period, and flaſh into No-
thing, whereas theſe are infinitely better qualified, they
ſtand on a ſtable Bottom, they never wither, never die:
So that tho' we confider the Joys of Heaven in a State
of Uncertainty, and thoſe of Time in a State of Cer-
tainty, thofe muft prevail; becauſe the exorbitant Great-
nefs of the Divine Joys of Heaven, accompanied with
an eternal Duration, are more advantageous than all the
trifling Satisfactions of Senſe, tho' ftampt with the charm-
ing Attractives of Certainty and Poffeffion.
For would any Man, who had one Grain of Prudence,
accuſe me of Folly or Rafhneſs, if I fhould venture a
Penny upon a well-grounded Preſumption of gaining a
Million? Would not you and all the Merchants in the
Nation ſhare in the Venture? Yet in this Cafe we ſhould
quit the certain for the uncertain. Now, if there be a
God, if the Chriftian Religion be the only faving Com-
munion in the World, and you live up to the Precepts of
Reaſon and the Gofpel; after this Life you will enter upon
the Poffeffion of a Bliſs that furpaffes all the brutiſh
and fond Enjoyments of Senfe, more than a Million ex-
ceeds a Penny; for between theſe two Sums there is
fome Proportion, but all the Geometricians in Europe
can never find a Medium Proportionale between what is
temporal and eternal.
Indeed, if you ſhould fquare your Conduct by the
fevere Rules of Chriftian Morality, and afterwards find
no God to recompenfe your Virtue; or that you might
have purchas'd an equal Glory, following the more con-
defcending Precepts of other Religions, you would be at
fome Lofs; i. e. you would have debarr'd your ſelf of
fome lewd Senfations to little Purpofe; but this Difap-
pointment cannot be put in the Scale, againft thoſe vaft
Treaſures you might pretend to, if there were a God,
and if only one Religion were faving: If therefore, he
who ſhould refufe to hazard a Penny on a moft prudent
Expectation of gaining a Million, would in the Opinion
of all Mankind commit a Folly almoft too extravagant
for Bedlam it felf; why fhall we fear to brand Atheiſts
and Latitudinarians with Frenzy and Madneſs, who pre-
fer
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 287.
fer a paultry Content before a Pleaſure that is eternal?
Your grand Principle, leave not the certain for the uncer-
tain, cannot relieve you, becauſe it has no place in the
preſent Difpute; for there is no Proportion between the
Happineſs of the other World, which you fuppofe uncer-
tain, and the Pleaſure of this, you fuppofe certain; for
no Arithmetick is able to multiply Moments into Éter-
nity. Now I anſwer your Syllogifm.
'Tis Imprudence to part with what is certain, for what
is uncertain; but the Pleasures of Heaven are uncertain,
and thofe of Life are certain; therefore 'tis Imprudence
to quit the Pleafures of this Life for thofe of Heaven.
I diſtinguiſh the first Propofition; 'Tis Imprudence to
part with what is certain, for what is uncertain: If what
is uncertain be confiderably greater than what is certain,
I deny it. If it be only equal, or inconfiderably greater,
I grant it: I tranfmit the fecond Propofition, and deny
the Confequence: Pray take Notice I do not grant the
fecond Propofition; for the first part is only true in our
prefent Suppofition, and the fecond is abfolutely falſe;
for thoſe Pleaſures you ſo much talk of, are as uncertain
as any thing can be; fo that tho' your famous Axiom
were never ſo true, 'tis impertinent to the preſent Dif-
pute; feeing your Gain is as doubtful as your Lofs.
Theom. What, will you maintain our Pleaſures are un-
certain? If you can make that out, I confeſs Affairs are
in a worſe Poſture than I fancy'd.
Eufeb. I will maintain it, and demonftrate it too.
Your Pleaſure, Sir, confifts in the Satisfaction of Senfe;
now all fuch Satisfaction is very expenfive: Burgundy
and Champaigne Wines grow not at London, they muſt
pafs the Seas; and before they are fit for an Athieft's
Palate, the Price runs high: You muſt give the Vintner
leave to rate them at Pleaſure, and thank him for his Fa-
vour, if he gives you a Bottle for an Angel. Ragoufts are
as coftly; Cooks will not toil for 'em, unless they be
well paid; they value their Sweat as high as the Vintner
does his Champagne; and you can rely no more on the
Confcience of the one, than of the other; for neither is
ftrait-lac'd, and you must ftand to their Mercy: If you
caft up your Accounts, you will find the Taverns and
Treating-Houfes have eas'd you of a round Income.
Miſes are farm'd at a higher Rate; like the Monſter Bebe-*
met,
288
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
*
met, they drink whole Rivers; they fwallow Mines and
devour Lordships: You may rig out a firſt Rate Ship,
at leſs Expence than a Lady of Pleaſure: She muſt ap-
pear at Hyde Park with a glittering Equipage, and ſhroud
the Scandal of her Life under a Veil of Embroidery:
And what is worſe, fhe preſently falls to decay, and then
the Bills of Reparation fwell higher than thofe of the very
Building: Now if you let her lie out of Repair, you
either tempt her Fidelity, or her ill Nature, and then
your Heaven may chance to fink into Hell; for if you
refolve with Eagerneſs a Relief, you fend her a Blank,
and encourage her Ladyship to draw up Conditions at
Pleaſure, and to rife upon you at the Difcretion of A-
varice. You fee thefe Pleaſures are expenfive, and re-
quire a good Fund: Now, Sir, are all Atheiſts fure of
good Eftates? Have they found out the Philofopher's
Stone; or have they Midas's Faculty, of turning what-
ever they touch into Gold? I cannot think that Man-
nors follow Religion, or that a beggarly Chriftian can
ftart up a money'd Atheift: Pleafures therefore are not
over fure to every Atheiſtical Profelyte, unleſs you only
admit Lords and Gentlemen into your Communion, and
fo compofe your Church as the Venetians do their Grand
Senate of Nobles; but even in this cafe, your happy
Life wants good Security: Eftates, like Eels, often give
us the flip, and I have known, fome who began the
World with three thouſand Pounds per Annum, end in
an Hoſpital: Some forfeit their Fund for Loyalty, others /
for Rebellion; fome drink it away, others Dice it; ſome
wear it out by husbanding it too well, and others by
managing it too ill: The very Foundation therefore of
your Pleaſures being fo precarious, and uncertain, the
Pleaſures themſelves can't be affur'd.
J
Secondly, Without Health the moft exquifite Pleaſures-
are dull and infipid; they rather importune than pleaſe,
and put our Patience to the Trial, rather than divert
our Senſes; the Harmony of a Lute, tho' touch'd by
an Orpheus, will grate the Ear, if the Head be out of
Tune; and a difcompos'd Stomach receives the moſt de-
licious Ragoufts with Reluctancy and Convulfions: A
Fit of the Cholick makes a Crown uneafy, and turns all
the Charms of Empire into Diffatisfaction. Now our
Body is a Compound of Contraries, each Part clafhest
་
with
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
289
:
ט
with its Fellow, and like the Midianites, draws upon its
next, Companion; Heat plays upon Cold; Dryneſs up-
on Humility: Whilft Victory is at a ftand, our Pulfe
beats even; but when it leans to one Side, 'tis Time to
call for a Doctor: Beſides, theſe Hoftilities are acted out
of Sight; or, like Miners, skirmish under Ground; and
ſo we cannot fend Relief to balance the Advantage which
one may gain over the other: In fine, Sir, Health confifts
in an equal Temper of capricious Humours; in a good
Intelligence of a thouſand Veins and Arteries; and what
can be more uncertain? I never meditate on the Frame
and Mechaniſm of Bodies, but I am rapt into Extafies.
of Admiration, and wonder more we are one Day in
Health, than that we should continually groan under
the Pangs of the moſt acute Diſeaſes: And if all Men's
Health is uncertain, the Atheist's is much more; for
their exceffive Irregularities both haften Infirmities, and
inflame them; Debauchery revenges its own Excelles
upon our Bodies, and plunges them into a State of Lan-
gour and Weakneſs: Health muſt jade, it cannot hold
out, if we live too faſt, and are continually upon the
Gallop: And thus you make what is uncertain, more
uncertain; if you do not manage your Conftitution, but
proſtitute it, you throw it away before you have done li-
ving, nay, when it is moſt uſeful to your Defign; and
fo betray your Senfes, and confpire againſt the Intereft of
Eafe and Pleaſure.
3dly, Life is the Foundation of all Happineſs, on
this all our Hopes and Expectations of worldly Pleaſures
are built; yet this is a thoufand Degrees more uncer-
tain, than the Exiſtence of a God: We know no more
when we came into the World, than the Child unborn,
and know no more when we fhall leave it. Our Stay
depends on a hundred Circumftances, and our Remo-
val on as many Accidents, we are neither able to a-
void, nor foreſee: An Enemy may Poniard us into the
other World, a Friend may carefs us thither; Grief
finks us into the Grave, and Joy overlets us: Nay, the
Scratch of a Pin oftentimes baffles the Virtue of Drugs,
and the Art of the Surgeon. The future is to come,
the paft is flown away, and neither at our Difpofal; fo
that we are only Mafters of the prefent: Now Money,
Health, and Life itfelf being. fo uncertain, fo precari-
U
QUS,
!
290
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
ous, how can you perfuade yourſelf, that Pleaſure,
your fummum bonum, is aflur'd? But if this be uncertain,
Atheiſts and Latitudinarians are mad to Extravagance;
for then they chufe a Pack of brutiſh, ſhort-liv'd, and
uncertain Pleaſures, before thofe eternal Joys of the
other World, that are exceffively beyond Thought, and
long beyond Imagination: Now if a Man would act
foolishly, who ſhould chufe a Crown that is uncertain,
before a Million that is equally uncertain; with what
Terms can I exprefs your Frenzy, who rather lay
hold on a thin, paultry, uncertain Pleaſure, than a
Happineſs that is uncertain indeed, but withal eter-
nal; cfpecially when you not only quit all Right to
this exorbitant Happinefs, but at the fame time run up
to the very Brink of Damnation? for thoſe who reject
Heaven, ipfo facto accept of Hell. We have waded
deep enough into this Matter. I will now draw up a
fhort Scheme of the whole Difcourſe, and then leave it
to your Confideration.
To fhew the Unreaſonableneſs of Atheiſm and Lati-
tudinarianifm, I have condefcended to more than you
durft ask, either in Juftice or Equity, viz. That the
Exiſtence of a God is doubtful; as well as the Neceffity
of profeffing the Chriftian Religion for Salvation: Be-
fore you can pretend to Evidence, you must turn com-
mon Senfe topfy turvy, and fly in the Face of Reaſon:
I have ſtoop'd fo low as to grant theſe two Points doubt-
ful, to diſplay the Weakneſs of your Pretenfions, and
to demonftrate, that Courteſy itſelf is not able to juſtify
your Conduct.
'tis
I ground my Difcourfe on this Principle; when two
Opinions, both doubtful, both uncertain, do concur;
a Folly to chufe that which will ruin me, if falſe; and
cannot turn to my Advantage, tho' true: You have ſub-
fcrib'd, and indeed all Nature has put its Hand to the
Principle: Now, Gentlemen, if the Opinions you em-
brace prove falſe, you will be eternally caft out of that
happy Region of the Bleffed, and eternally confin'd to
the Pitch and Sulphur of the Reprobate. It is poffible for
a wretched Creature to lofe more on the one Side, or to
fuffer more on the other? Can any Man be more un-
happy than to be baniſh'd from his Sovereign Happineſs?
Or more miferable than to be ingulphed into a State of
eternal
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 291
eternal Sufferings? Is not he undone, who has turn'd
Bankrupt not only of his Fortune, but even of his Hope;
and has nothing left but Torments, Rage, and Defpair?
If your Opinions chance to be true, what Advantage
can you reap but petty Satisfactions of Senfe; which ra-
ther furfeit than fatisfy, and ftupify more than they de-
light? They look big only at a diſtance, and nothing
when they draw near; they are indeed Giants in our
Fancy, and Pigmies in themſelves; yet you chuſe theſe
contemptible Pleaſures, that avail you little while you
live, and nothing when you come to die; you leave thoſe
which laſt eternally: Now has not ſuch a choice all
Characters of Folly?
Pray, Gentlemen, fet fome Moments afide for Re-
flection: The Buſineſs is of Weight, and deſerves fober
Thoughts. Had you two Souls, you might fend one into
the next World to diſcover how Things go in that un-
known Region; and if that ſhould periſh in the Enter-
prize, you would have at leaſt another in Referve: But
alas, you have but one, and if that mifcarry, you are
loft for ever: The firft Moment that lays open your
Misfortune, diſcovers the Impoflibility of retrieving it.
Theom. Come, Eufebius, we have almoſt drain'd the
Subject; let us change our Theme. You have arraigned
my Choice, and in your Fancy convicted it of Folly and
Extravagance; I impeach you of the fame Mifdemea-
nours: Pray let us fee if you can plead your own Cauſe
with as much Art, as you have againſt mine.
DIALOGUE VII.
Tho' there be no God, and tho the Chriftian Religion be
not the only Saving Religion, 'tis Prudence to believe
there is a God, and that the Chriftian Religion is the
only Saving Religion in the World; and to live up to.
the Tenets of both.
Eufeb. YOU have affign'd me an eafy Province: The
very opening of our Caufe is fufficient to gain
That we may not beat the Air, and shoot at Rovers,
let us look back upon the old Principle, When two uncer-
it.
U 2
tain
292
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
•
tain Propofitions lie before me, I am oblig'd by all the
Laws of Prudence to chufe that which will turn to my
Advantage, if true, and cannot prejudice me, if it be
falſe; I have eſtabliſh'd this Maxim above, and I fee not
how you can offer againſt it any thing of Moment.
Theor. Go on.
Eufeb. If our Opinions are true, when once we ſhake
off thefe Clouds of Clay, thefe Mifts of Duft and Aſhes,
which interpofe between us and Eternity, we fhall be in
a moſt comfortable Condition; for the very Moment
that deprives us of Life, will repair all the Decays of Na-
ture, all the Ruins of Time; we fhall enter upon a State
of Blifs, with a Spring that ever flouriſhes, ever blooms;
upon a State inacceffible to Infirmities, unknown to Mi-
feries, above the Stroke of Fortune, and out of the Ju-
riſdiction of Death: Now to paſs on a fudden from Fear
to Affurance, from Sickneſs to Health, from Poverty to
Plenty, and from Death to Life, muſt be a very enter-
taining Change: But what is this to that Ocean of Blifs,
that flows from the Face of God? One Ray ftruck Mo-
fes almoft blind; his Mortality funk under fo glorious an
Appearance, and Nature was too weak to bear the Splen-
dour of the Object, or to continue the Correfpondence.
The Fondneſs of Imagination always magnifies tempo-
ral Pleaſures: Fancy over flouriſhes the Object, and
paints beyond the Life; they are more gaudy in our
Brain, than in themſelves, and the Expectation of 'em
out-weighs Poffeffion: But the Pleaſures of the other
World are above Expreffion, and Imagination too; nor
can we take their Dimenſions by what they are, but by
what they are not: All that I can fay, is, they put an
End to Fear, a Term to Hope, and a Stop to Defire;
and certainly that Creature has touch'd upon the true
Point of Happineſs, that neither wiſhes to be greater, nor
fears to be lefs.
Theo. Well, well, Sir, you will indeed be very well.
provided, if there be a God; but fuppoſe there be none;
you will confefs then that you have under-rated all the
Pleaſures of this Life, and fold 'em for a Dream.
Eufeb. Sold 'em for a Dream, fay you? You lie under
a great Miſtake; tho' there are no fuch Things, as God,
or Heaven, I fell 'em to Advantage, and make the moſt
of 'em: The bare Probability of a happy Eternity, has
more
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 293
more Worth, than a certain Poffeffion of all the Advan-
tages of Life: Thefe Toys end in Vanity and Vexation.
of Spirit; we mif-fpend our Thoughts, we render our
felves cheap and defpicable, by throwing away our Incli-
nations upon thefe Amuſements: But I told you before,
that thoſe Pleaſures you talk of are as uncertain as the Joys
of Heaven; and in this Cafe, I only truck one Uncer-
tainty for another: But then what I give is only tempo-
ral, and what I take eternal; Now, if there be a God,
my Fortune is made for ever; if there be no God, I re-
ceive ſmall Diſadvantage; I only diſcard my felf of thoſe
Things that are noxious to my Body, and ſcandalous to
my Nature: At leaft, I live like a Man, though in the
End I die like a Brute, and fall into nothing: But do you
think Chriftians and Atheiſts muſt forfwear all Pleaſure;
that they muſt torture their Senfes, and only know they
live by Mortification and Torture?
Theo. They muſt check Paffion, arreft Appetite, and
curb the very Tendency of Nature to Pleafure: They
muft continually ftand upon their Guard, and fcour a-
bout for fear of a Surprize: Now thefe Employments
are laborious and mortifying; a Man that is thus upon
the Hoof can ſcarce find Leiſure for Diverſion: In ſhort,
who lives up to the Principles of your Belief, muſt di-
vorce from Mirth, disband from Company, and like
Toads, feed on the Poifon of Spleen and Melancholy.
Eufeb. We muſt indeed have a watchful Eye over our
Paffions, and keep 'em within the Bounds of Reaſon ;
we muſt not ſtep over the Limits of Decency, nor ex-
ceed the Preſcript of Moderation; yet we have a large
Field to play in: Thofe Reftraints are laid upon us, be-
cauſe an univerfal Liberty would undo us; and indeed, I
find few Actions prohibited befides thofe, that either de-
bauch Health, croſs upon Reaſon, or undermine So-
ciety: Now he who cannot be pleas'd unleſs he prepares
Work for the Doctor, unless he revels away his Wits, or
unhinges the whole Frame of Commerce and Converfa-
tion, deferves, like Lyons or Bears, to be hunted out of
Society.
A Chriftian may pretend to fome Enjoyment in this
World, without forfeiting his Claim to the Delights of the
other: If Providence has furnifh'd him with an Eſtate,
he may both keep it, and ufe it too; nay, he may take
U 3
thofe
294
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
thoſe Meaſures which Prudence and Juftice fhall fuge
geft to improve it; he may afpire handfomely to an
honourable Poft, and clap on his Coach a Coronet, if he
can procure a Patent; he may eat wholfome Food, and
drink good Wine, fo he does not clog his Stomach, nor
offend his Brain: Indeed he muft beware of Excefs, and
this, methinks, is no great Encroachment on his Free-
dom, no great Confinement to his Diverfion; for cer-
tainly a Surfeit is not very entertaining; and a Fit of
Drunkenneſs is no charming Trance to any but to the
Spectators: If a Chriftian racks his Brain, fhrinks his
Purſe, or weakens his Body with amorous Intrigues,
he paffes his Commiffion: But then he has the Freedom
to marry; and what will be the Difference between him
and an Atheiſt; but that this dotes on a Miſtreſs, and the
other places his Affections on a Wife; that the one ſa-
tisfies Senfe at the Expence of Duty, and the other joins
Duty with Pleaſure ? So that upon the whole, unleis Sin
be the only charming Circumftance, and that nothing.
can gratify Senfe, unleſs it invades our Innocence, your
Advantage over us is inconfiderable: But then, we have
other Advantages that balance this; our Pleaſures are
clean, untainted, and (what is more valuable) inno-
cent; we enjoy 'em without Scruple, without Remorfe,
becauſe without Offence; they are neither mixed with
Fear, nor Shame, nor are they follow'd by Repentance,
they bear the Teft of Confcience, and dare ftand a Trial
at God's Tribunal.
Theo. If this be all, we ftand on equal Ground: My
Confcience enjoys a continual Calm; it fleeps as foundly
as if it had taken an Opiate, and always comes to the
Lure of my Defires.
Eufeb. You are flipt into a Fit of Bantering fure; a
quiet Confcience to an Atheiſt is very extraordinary
No, no, Sir, in Spight of Debauchery and Infidelity too,
it will ſtruggle, it will turn upon you, when it finds you
alone, and fly in your Face: A Doſe of Claret may lay
it afleep, the Noife of Company, and the Tumults of
Paffion may drown its Voice, or put a Stop to its Cla-
mours; but when the Fumes are feitled, when the Com-
pany withdraws, and Paffion runs in its own Channel,
it reads you unplea fant Lectures of Shame and Horrour;
it opens a full Profpect of Hell, enlivens Fear, it calls
?
upon
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 295
upon Deſpair, and conjures up a Battalion of Fiends to
haunt you. Tell me, Theomachus, when the Candles are
extinguiſh'd, and Sleep flies from your Eyes; when the
Fire of Wine has boil'd up your Blood into a ſmall Fe-
ver; are you not plagu'd with Doubts, and hagg'd with
Apprehenfions? Does not, what if there be a God, ring
a diſmal Knell in your Ears, and tofs the Difeafe from
your Head to your Heart? Would you not purchaſe an
Affurance, that there is no God; no Reckoning with
a Lordſhip?
Theo. Such Thoughts fometimes hover about me; but
they ſpring from Cuſtom and Education. I was brought
up a Chriftian, and imbued with all the Principles of
that Perfuafion; I fuck'd in from the Cradle thofe fright-
ful Notions of Judgment and Hell; and Time has not
been able to wear out thofe difmal Ideas: The firſt
Tincture ſticks cloſe, and the Errors of Youth are fel-
dom forgotten: But others who have had the good For-
tune to meet with a more free Education, laugh at the
Apparitions of thoſe childiſh Bug-bears, firſt created by
Nurſes, and then kept up by Fancy.
Eufeb. Thefe dreadful Spectres neither owe their Be-
ing to Education, Nurfes, nor Fancy, they are very real
Things: Nature has ftamp'd the Belief of them in our
Soul, nor is Atheiſm able to deface them: Thefe Sparks,
who have not lain under their Difcipline, who have
rang'd about the Ifland from their Youth, like the barba-
rous Brafilians in the Wilderneſs of America, or wild
Affes on the Mountains, without Reſtraint, without In-
ſtruction, may hector Confcience, but cannot gag it: In
ſpite of Debauchery it will fometimes upbraid, it will
throw Crimes before their Faces, and mufter up all the
Forces of Guilt and Puniſhment to torment them.
Tell an Atheiſt, you have a Demonftration againſt the
Being of a God, the bare Propofal quickens him; it
pours into him a new Supply of Vigour and Activity; it
fweetens his Nature, and throws off the mifty Vapours of
Spleen and Melancholy: Pray, why fuch Joy at the very
Apprehenfion of no God? Is it ſo welcome News to hear
that he must drop into Nothing? And take Leave of Ex-
iſtence when he bids adieu to Life? No certainly: But
Atheiſts know, if there be a God, they must once ap-
pear at his Tribunal, and they have no Inclination to put
U A
the
296 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
the iffue of their Caufe upon the Juftice of his Sentence.
Now, why fhould they fear to be condemn'd, unleſs
they know they have done ill? And how can they dread
Funiſhment without trembling at the Crime? Who live
up to the Precepts of Chriftianity fear no future Evil, be-
cauſe they act none here; they apprehend no Puniſhment,
becauſe they deſerve none. Such a Security is above
Price, it exceeds the fparkling Diadems of the Cafars,
and all the brutifh Pleaſures of the Atheiſts. 'Tis above
the Value of Gold or Diamonds, and can only be pur-
chas'd by Virtue.
Befides, tho' we caft the other World out of the Que-
ftion, Chastity, Modefty, and Temperance are honou-
rable Qualifications; they draw Efteem, Refpect, and Ve-
neration from the moft vicious; for all efteem Virtue,
tho' they will not go to the Charge of the Purchaſe:
Now, tho' we fhould come fhort of Heaven, 'tis fome
Satisfaction to think that at leaſt we may leave a wor-
thy Memory to After-ages; that our Virtue may ftand
upon Record to the laft Moment of Time; and that our
Names will not fleep by us in the Grave. Epicurus felt
not the Fits of Stone or Gout, when he meditated on
the Applauſe Pofterity would give his Writings: This
imaginary Pleaſure drowned his real Pains, and made him
enjoy a Paradife in Torments: The Violence of the Tran-
fport either mortify'd his Senfe, or infpirited his Mind.
Diogenes preferr'd Glory before fcandalous Delights; and
the very Appearance of Virtue before Libertinifm: He
thought it worth his while to tie himſelf up to hard
Ufage, to filence the Clamours of Paffions, and to leave
behind him glorious Inftances of Temperance and Mo-
deration; that he might make a Figure in Annals, and
raife the Fame of his Tub higher than the Trophies of
Miltiades: And indeed, there is a vaft Difference be-
tween the Delights of Senfe, and thofe of the Mind;
thoſe depend on various Circumftances, and muft touch
the Organ to pleafe it: Perfumes in Arabia cannot affect
my Nofe, not a Ragous in Japan regale my Palate : But
the Pleaſures of the Mind move in a larger Compafs;
they act at Diſtance, and are neither confined to Place, nor
Situation: By a certain Spell of natural Magick it rai-
fes up paft Pleafures, and feafts itſelf with Futurities
I can pleaſe my ſelf with a Thing that is paft, and frame
enter-
9
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
297
entertaining Thoughts of what is to come: And this Pri-
vilege good Men poffefs; they perceive a prefent Satif-
faction, that they have fecur'd their Memory from Oblo-
quy and Detraction; and that when they expire, their
Actions will ſtand up in Defence of their Integrity: If
we throw theſe two Advantages in the Balance, our Con-
dition will not be worſe than yours; we fhall at leaſt go
off the Stage like wife Men, and you will jump into no-
thing like Fools. But tho' we grant Atheiſts and Latitu-
dinarians lead more pleafant Lives than Chriftians, this
cannot prejudice our Conduct; for ftill 'tis true, that all
is little, fuperficial, and inconfiderable, that muſt end.
Wherefore to conclude; if it be true, That when two
uncertain Propofitions lie before me, I am obliged by the
Laws of Prudence to chufe that which will turn to my
Advantage, if true, and cannot prejudice me, if it chance
to be falfe; you muſt confefs, that tho' we are miſtaken
in our Succefs, we are not in our Choice; and that we
are rather unfortunate, than imprudent.
Theo. Well, fuppofe all this true; I am not one Step
nearer my Converfion than before.
Eufeb. That is very ftrange. I have drawn out a Map
of your Miſtakes; I have balanc'd your Hopes with
your Fears, your Hazard with your Gain; I have made.
it clear to Evidence, that your Conduct paffes Madnets
and Extravagance: Is not this fufficient to perfuade you
to alter it? Has Folly fo violent Attractives; or Frenzy
fuch unconquerable Charms? Is it better to burn eter-
nally for a Miftake, than go to the Charge of cor-
recting it?
Theo. Believe me, Eufebius, I am not dotingly fond
of Errors that coft fo dear: I would willingly caft them.
off, were it in my Power; but you know, that to ferve
God with a Doubt of his Being, is no lefs criminal, than
to deny him: Now I cannot ftretch my Faith to Firm-
nefs or Certitude; I muſt waver on Doubts, and float on
Sufpicions; for my Underſtanding is not at Command,
it lies not under the Difcipline of the Will; Evidence a-
lone has the Power to bend it: Iconfeſs I want Evidence,
and if you'll help me to a handfome Dofe, I'll return the
Favour with Gratitude.
Eufeb, Were you not educated in Chriſtianity?
Theo. I was.
Eufeb.
:
298
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Eufeb. Did you not then believe the Exiftence of a
God, and all the high Myfteries of Chriftianity without
Doubts or Fears?
Theo. I did.
Eufeb. When you grew in Years, did you never make
an Enquiry into Religion? Did you not take the Pains
to inform yourfelf why you believed, as well as what
you believed? Did you take all upon Truft? And owe
your Faith to the Font alone, or to the Climate?
Theo. I pafs'd a great Part of my Life in Retirement;
and made Reading both my Employment and Pleaſure ;
but especially I levell'd my Study at thofe things that
were rather profitable than diverting; and contributed
more to my future Happineſs, than my prefent Satisfacti-
on. Among thefe, I thought then, that Religion took
the firſt Place; and in this View I fell upon Polemicks.
with Eagerness, and continued fome time with a never-
interrupted Application: My Progrefs anfwer'd my Ex-
pectation; I fancied I could defend my Religion againſt
all Opponents, and convince any Man, if it were not
evidently true, that 'twas at leaft evidently credible: To
be plain, I never doubted of any Article, and always
fufpected his Judgment or Morals that did.
Eufeb. Perchance thofe Motives have given your Me-
mory the Slip, perchance Time and little Reflection has
fullied their Luftre, and impair'd the Force of their
Activity.
Theo. No, I have them all before me: But, methinks,
they have another Face; they want their former Brisk-
neſs and Vigour; they ftrike but faintly on the Brain;
and tho they move the Underſtanding, they cannot ſet-
tle it: Their Evidence is funk fo low, that it fcarce holds
up to Probability.
Eufeb. Upon Examen and fecond Thoughts, have
you diſcover'd Sophiftry? Have they fail'd under Exa-
men, or fhrunk under a due Trial of Logick?
Theo. Indeed I never put them on the Rack, nor
brought them to the Teft of Reaſon; but I have read in
modern Authors fuch home Arguments against the Be-
ing of a God, that 'tis impoffible there fhould be any
fuch Thing.
Eufeb. Hold, Theomachus, you take Things by the falfe
Handle, and begin at the wrong End. You had Proofs
for
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 299
for the Being of a God, for the Truth of Chriſtian Reli-
gion, that flafht Conviction fo ftrongly, that they could
not be refifted with Prudence: Now, in turning over
Atheiſtical Neotericks, you ftumble upon fome Excepti-
ons: One cannot reconcile God's Juftice with his Mercy;
this feems to fall foul upon that: Another can neither
look back to the firft Moment of his Eternity, nor grafp
his Immenfity, nor comprehend his Immutability: Â
third is out of Conceit with his Government: Were
there a God, fays he, this would happen, and that would
not; the whole Management of the World argues
Chance, rather than Wifdom, and wants either Forecaft
or Power: hence they conclude, 'tis impoffible there fould
be a God; therefore there is none: Blind Worms! who
are overpowered with the Beams of a Planet, and dare fix
their Eyes upon the Sun; they know not themſelves,
and yet would comprehend their Maker; Alas! there is
nothing fo mean, but has ſomewhat above us. We fall
under the Weight of a Straw, and are not able to diffect
a Fly, or to anatomize, a Glow-worm. Could I com-
prehend God, I would fcorn to adore him: The very No-
tion of an infinite Being, implies Obfcurity; and Reaſon
tells me, that an Underſtanding confin'd to Limits, can
never take a full View of a Thing that has none. Look
you, Sir, you muſt not turn you Back to plain Truths,
becauſe you cannot anfwer fome untoward Questions
about them. Tho' you fubpoena a thouſand Objections,
their Evidence will not be allow'd of in the Court of
Reaſon, againſt pofitive Demonftrations; for we feldom
meet with any thing fo manifeft, that does not put Rea-
fon to a puzzle on fome Occafions. Zeno argued him-
felf out of the Existence of Motion, as you have run your
felf out of the Belief of a Deity. Motion, fays he, is impof-
fible, therefore there is no fuch thing: But his Speculation
was not receivable againſt clear matter of Fact, and Dio-
genes would not difpute, but walk'd him out of his Error.
We lay before you a hundred Arguments, that prove the
Exiſtence of a God; you neither diſcover Weakneſs in
the Principles, nor Error in the Conclufion; but very
fairly ftep over 'em, and fall upon God's Attributes: You
rifle his Conduct, and canvas his Proceeding; and then,
becauſe your purblind Reafon is put to a Nonplus, and
baffled in the Inquiry, you conclude his Effence is impoffible.
Poffibi
300
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
}
Poffibilities would be drawn up in a narrow Compaſs, if
all things were impoffible that confounds our Underſtand-
ing: Follow my Advice, Gentlemen, reform your
Manners if you intend to believe.
Theo. Had I Faith, Virtue would follow; but how can
I mortify Appetite, when I have no Affurance either of
Reward or Puniſhment?
Eufeb. Quite contrary; bid farewel to your Crimes,
and then you will have no Difficulty to believe, whilſt
'tis your Intereft there fhould be no God, that Chrifti-
anity fhould be an Impoſture, you will believe neither;
for Intereſt ſways our Judgment, as well as it commands
our Actions, and Demonftration itſelf is lefs perfua-
five: 'Tis an Error to think our Will has no Jurifdiction
over our Reafon; it exerciſes its Tyranny every day over
that noble Faculty; it treats it like a Slave, rather than
a Princefs, and Atheiſts commit Rapes upon their Rea-
fon, as well as upon the Sex: Do you not believe you
were lawfully begotten?
Theo. I do.
Eufeb. And yet you have only your Mother's Word for
it; but fhould fhe declare the contrary, I fufpect you
would not pay the fame Deference to her Authority:
Now, why do you believe her in one Cafe with fo
much Eaſineſs? Why do you disbelieve her in the other?
I fuppofe her Negatives are not lefs credible than her Af-
firmatives; and that the deferves Belief when the denies,
as well as when the affirms. Here is the Difference ; 'tis
your Intereft to be lawfully begotten, and to be thought
fo: On this Account you enter upon your Father's Eſtate,
and his Titles; but then to come in at the Back-door is
a mortifying Difadvantage; it cuts off the Right to Suc-
ceffion, and befides throws an Afperfion on your Perfon:
Now, tho' the Motives in both Cafes are the fame, the
Will biaffed by Intereft, rides the Underftanding, and
forces it to affent to the firft, and to diffent from the ſecond:
If you fhake off ill Habits, if you walk within the
Bounds of Moderation and Temperance, and confine your
Thoughts and Actions to what is lawful, you will pre-
fently look upon God, and Religion, as Things advan-
tageous to you; becauſe one promifes Rewards, and the
other will pay them; and then prudential Motives, by the
Power of the Will, can eaſily draw, and fix the Under-
ſtanding
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
3Ci
ftanding in the Belief of Truths you now boggle at; but
if you perfevere in Lewdnefs, and make over your Heart
to Licentioufnefs; if you dare not look another World
in the Face, nor take a Survey of Hell without almoſt
feeling the Pains; you will never firmly believe there
is a God, nor frame any tolerable Notion of Religion ;
for a ſtable and fettled Perfuafion of thofe Things, runs
fo contrary to your prefent Intereft, that the Will, in
Spight of Evidence it felf, will fool the Underſtanding;
and either withdraw its Attention from the Confidera-
tion of the Argument, or by fome fly Trick of Legerde-
main delude it: No Man in the World ever deny'd a
God before he fear'd him; he firſt deferv'd Damnation,
and then thruſt Juftice out of Being: And fo, Eudoxus,
I fancy you quarrell'd with the Morals of Chriftianity,
before you fell out with the Creed; and all Religions
then only began to pleafe you, when Reftraint became
cumberfome. However, Theomachus, in our following
Conference I will attack your Underſtanding; and I hope
to propofe fo trong Arguments, as will be able to fix it
in the Belief of a God.
In the mean time difmifs Pride, and turn off Prejudice;
this blinds Reaſon, and that over-looks it; the one will
not ſee Truth, nor the other ftoop to embrace it: You
muſt not ſearch after Truth as if you fear'd to find it;
ſuch Purſuits are nothing but Ceremony and Grimace,
they are Symptoms both of Folly and Obftinacy, and in-
fallible Marks that you have fome finiftrous Defign, either
to put a Cheat upon your felf, or to caft Scorn and Con-
tempt upon your Adverfary. Thofe Arguments I fhall
propoſe, examine in God's Name; diffect the whole Dif-
courſe, weigh the Principles, meaſure the Inferences by
all the Rules of Mood and Figure: But then fall not up-
on Criticism, as if your whole Bufinefs were to find
Faults, not Truths; to quarrel with them, not to affent:
Suppofe 'em not counterfeit, before you have brought
'em to the Touch-Stone: Again, pray remember there is
a great Difference between Words, and a good Solution:
To return an Anfwer, is not to enervate a Proof; we
may talk much, without talking to the Purpofe; and ho-
ver about a Queftion, without coming up to the Point:
And as you must take care not to be too great in your
own Opinion, fo others must not be too little For Men
fcorn
302
The GENTLEMAN Înſtructed.
ſcorn to learn of thoſe they contemn: And befides, the
leaft Intelligence from fuch a Quarter will be thought
apocryphal: For we meaſure the Force of Arguments by
the Abilities of the Propofer, and always prefume they.
cannot riſe above his height that made them; ſo that if
we under-rate an Adverfary, we fhall by a neceflary
Confequence defpife his Reafons: For a fmall Prepoffef-
fion creates ill Notions, and thefe biafs the Judgment,
and give a wrong Turn to the Scale.
But above all things, implore the Succour of that
great Being, whofe Exiſtence you doubt of: Tell him you
are in queft of his Exiſtence, not only to know his Per-
fections, but to adore his Majefty, to love his Goodneſs,
and to fue for Mercy. Defire him with Tears and Sighs,
to diſpel thofe Mifts that darken the Underſtanding, and
to dafh in Pieces thofe Chains of Senfuality that fetter the
Will; that you may be fo fortunate as to fee the Truth
of his Being, and fo courageous as to embrace it; for
the Activity of a Caufe anfwers the Difpofition of the
Subject: All the Light in Nature will make no Impreffi-
on on a diforder'd Eye: Fire may confume a Member
ftruck with the Palfy, but cannot heat it into Senſation;
and Demonftration may fhine upon the Underſtanding,
but this will remain in Darkneſs, and grope in Obfcurity,
unleſs the Will be put in Order, and the Veils of Preju-
dice, Pride and Licentiouſneſs be remov'd: Now this is
the proper Bufinefs of Grace, which God will fend to
your Affiſtance, if you ask it with Patience and Sin-
cerity: But if you will live on your own Fund, if you
will engage with a Refolution not to yield, or difpute
meerly to overcome; you will live an Infidel, and die a
Reprobate: All Arguments will only ferve to harden
your Heart, to inflame your Guilt, and heighten your
Obstinacy.
DIALOGUE VIII.
Eudoxus is not fatisfy'd with Theomachus's Anſwers.
AFter fome Civilities, Eufebius took leave of his Adver-
faries, and Theomachus conducted him to his Coach;
he
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
303
น
1
he promiſed to appear the next Day, and carry on the
Converfation. In the mean time Eudoxus found himſelf
in fome Diſorder above Stairs: This Conference had bat-
ter'd his Confidence, awak'd his Confcience, and alarm'd
his Fears: He had only enlarg'd his Belief to make room
for Debauchery, and would needs fave all Men not to
damn himfelf: Reftraint was his beſt Argument againſt
the Neceffity of Chriftian Religion for Salvation, and no-
thing drew him into fuch a Latitude of Belief, but an un-
controll'd Liberty of Acting. But when he heard from
Eufebius the Danger he run, and the Hazard he expos'd
himſelf to; he found his Blood in a Ferment, and all the
Faculties of his Soul in an Uproar: He walk'd about the
Room in fuch a mufing Pofture, that Theomachus, now
return'd, could not tell what to make of this mute Scene:
His Motion reprefented a Farce, his Looks a Tragedy,
and both ſeem'd extraordinary amazing. What, faid Theo-
machus, are you wrapt in an Extafy, and fallen over
Head and Ears into Speculation? What turn'd Philofo-
pher ex tempore? Your Face has no metaphyfical Turn,
lay down the Difguife, and put on your Shape, you make
an odd Figure in Maſquerade.
Eudox. Is Serioufnefs fo unbecoming? I am forry to
hear Gravity fits fo unhandfomely upon me, and that I
cannot put on a thinking Countenance, without acting the
Comedian: However, I hope you will excufe me; your
Conference has given me fome Reaſon to look demurely.
Theom. With all my Heart, upon Condition you'll not
turn thinking into a Practice; for, I tell you again, a Stoi-
cal Comportment agrees ill with your Conftitution, and
a contemplative Humour will four the Blood, and caft
you into Fits of the Hypochondry. Methinks I can read
the Subject of your Meditation on your Face: I have tra-
vell'd far in Phyfiognomy, and have drawn up a Map of
that Country: In fine, Sir, the Afpect is fitted up for
Converfation, as well as the Tongue; and like the Spar-
tans comprehends much in a little; it explains a Man's
Mind more clear than one can ſpeak it: You are now an-
villing out fome petty Revenge againſt Eufebius, and in-
deed he deferves a Mortification for his Sophiftry: He
talks with fuch a magisterial Confidence, as if he vented
nothing but Evidence: He is a kind of fpiritual Hector,
and banters People into Subjection and Slavery; he has
an
354
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
1
an impofing Air, and varniſhes. his Reaſon with ſuch Af-
ſurance, that unthinking Gentlemen miſtake one for the
other But you ſaw how I teazed him.
Eudox. I cannot tell what Judgment you frame of this
Morning's Conteſt, but I counſel you not to crow or cry
Victoria; let it paſs for a drawn Battle; he may other-
wife think of the Prefs, and if the Action takes Air, and
appears in View, perchance the Publick may pronounce
againſt you. We are often fond of our own Exploits, and
enfily turn the Advantages upon our felves; whereas,
God knows, impartial Readers may give it to our Adver-
faries, and lay Diſhonour at our Doors. I muft own, I
wiſh you had done your Part better, or that Eufebius had
done his worſe: I find my interior in a Flame; I feel an
unknown War in my Breaft; your Converfation has
rais'd it; my Fears are enliven'd, and tho' I am not in
Hell, methinks I deferve it.
Theom. Certainly you rave, you have a feverish Di-
ftemper upon you, and the malign Humour has feiz'd up-
on the Brain: I never faw a Man before, found under an
Argument, or difcours'd into a Calenture: You take Ap-
prehenfions for Things, and turn a good Nature into an
Executioner: Your Troubles are but Dregs of Educati-
on, or airy Spirits that rife from Prejudice: Time will
weai 'em out, or Courage will daunt 'em; bear up with
Refolution, and you'll fcare your Frights, and look thofe
dreadful Bugbears out of Countenance.
Eudox. I had rather you would reafon 'em out of Coun-
tenance: Uncertainty has begot 'em, and I fancy Cer-
tainty would deftroy 'em. Ah Theomachus! If there be a
God, you are undone; and if Chriſtianity be the only
faving Religion, I am undone alfo.
Theor. Fie, Fic, I took you for a Man of Parts; for
a Man above Fear, and out of the Reach of Apprchenfi-
on. I tell you there is no God, and by confequence that
Chriſtianity is nothing but pure Mummery and Impo-
ſture: 'Tis a poetical Engine, fram'd by crafty Stateſmen
to heave Men into their Duty.
Eudox. But did you not confeſs to Eufebius, that you .
were certain of neither ?
Theom. Prithee ask no Queſtions: Let us take a turn
to the Blue-Pofts: Canary clears more Controverfies in an
Hour, than Disputes in an Age: A Glafs of good Wine
carries
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
305
{
carries off a Doubt in a trice, and I have found by
Experience that Fears are fooner drank, than reafon'd
away.
Eudox. The preſent Buſineſs is too ferious to be deba-
ted in a Tavern; and I had rather argue, than laugh
with you. If I comprehend Eufebius right, we are in
ill Circumſtances: For tho' it happen that we are nothing
in the next World, we are without peradventure Fools
in this. For, look you, Sir, both our Tenets are very
uncertain, and by legal Inference may be falſe; if they
are, what will become of us? Can any Creature fink
into a more defperate Misfortune, than we fhall certainly
meet with? Can we lofe more than by forfeiting all?
Or can we fuffer more, than when we fry in Flames
for an Eternity? I confefs this Eternity ſtrikes a Damp
through every Joint: I dare not play with Thunder, nor
ſtand the Stroak of the Omnipotent. On the other fide,
though the other Tenets prove true, what are we the
better? First, Thofe Pleaſures we pretend to, are as un-
certain, as that Hell we now ridicule, as that Heaven we
burlefque. Secondly, Suppofe they were moft certain,
they are not able to render us happy when we die, nor
content whilſt we live; they only ſerve to engender Dif-
eafes, to provoke Confcience, and to prey upon our E-
ftates: They are Things beneath a rational Creature, not
worth enjoying, nor even the contending for: Now fee-
ing there is fuch an immenfe Chaos between our Hopes
and our Fears, fuch a monftrous Difproportion between
our Lofs and our Gain, how is it poffible for Men to
fwerve more palpably from the common Dictamens of
Prudence than we?
Theom. I tell you, the Immortality of the Soul is a meer
flouriſh of Fancy. "Tis a. Platonical Idea form'd at A-
thens ſome thouſands of Years ago, and wafted from be-
yond Seas in our Smyrna Fleet.
Eudox. Could you prove your Affertion, my Fears
would be at an End: I would laugh at my preſent
Frights, and fport with thofe Flames I tremble at. I
am not yet cloy'd with Liberty, nor furfeited with Mirth;
nor am I fo befotted with Pleafures of Senfe, as to
charge through Fire and Brimftone for their fake: But
you have granted to Eufebius, that this very Point has
no more Certainty, than that of the Exiftence of a Deity:
X
So
306
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
So that tho' you name it a Fable; for ought we know it
may be a real Story.
Theom. But do you remember I told Eufebius, that a
tottering Belief of a God, or of Chriſtianity, would not
do our Turns, tho' we bridled our Paffions, and bound
up our Appetite to Penance and Mortification: Now if
you have in ſtore an Argument, that can convey Convi-
ction, impart it to your felf, and ftand to the Belief of
Chriſtianity with Refolution: But if you have not, and
there be a Hell, a wavering Faith, tho' waited on by all
the Virtues of the moft rigid Reclufe, conducts you to
Deſtruction, as furely as Debauchery: Of the two give
me therefore a pleaſant Life, and a wretched Eternity,
rather than a miferable Life, and a miferable Eternity;
for of two Evils I am for the leſs.
Eudox. I confeſs I am at a lofs for fuch an Argument;
yet my Mind gives me, that Induſtry may make a Dif
covery, either for the one Side, or for the other; that is,
we may fall upon a Medium that will unriddle the My-
ftery; and either certainly convince us, that all the
Dreads and Terrors of a future State are Fiction and Im-
pofture, or that they are real Things; for if the Cafe
ftood otherwife, I fhould be tempted to Timonize, and
clap a Satyr upon our whole Species; I fhould break its
Efcutcheon, and throw its Titles of Honour upon Bears,
Lyons, and Tygers: For certainly Man with his pompous
and magnificent Prerogatives of Reaſon, would fink be-
low the Level of the vileft Infect; becaufe his Lot would
be Fear, and tormenting Thoughts here, and perchance
more tormenting Fire hereafter: Beafts, poor Creatures,
neither waſte their Spirits with the towring Pretenfions
of Place, nor Precedency; nor with the carking Appetite
of having, nor with the troubleſome Apprehenfion of
lofing: Their Care neither looks backward nor forward;
their only Labour is to fence againſt the prefent Neceffi-
ty; they neither expect any Advantage from the future,
nor any Misfortune; they defire not to be better, nor
fear to be worfe: They gently glide down the Tide of
Nature, and fail down contentedly with the Current of
Inclination: All their Pains and Pleaſure expire with
their Life, and when their Taper is ſpent, and burnt
within the Socket, they lie down to fleep, and evapo-
rate into Nothing: But alas! poor Man, is tantaliz'd with
plea-
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
30
pleaſant Dreams of a future Felicity, and haunted with
frightful Spectres of never-ending Miferies; yet accord-
ing to your new Theology, he is not able to difcover whe-
ther thefe Things have any real Being, but in Imaginati-
on: What is this but to hang him on the Tenters? But
to ſtretch him on the Torture? And to make his chief
Privilege, Reaſon, fubfervient to his Torment? There
may be a God, fay you, a Hell, a Heaven, and one only
faving Religion: If theſe things are true, and we live as
if they were falfe, we are loft: On the other fide, if
they are falfe, and we check Appetite, and conform
our Actions to the moſt rigid Morality, we labour in
vain, and take Pains to meet with Difappointment: But
then again, if they chance to be true, though we live pi-
oufly, if we believe not ftedfaftly, our Bufinefs is done:
We muſt pitch our Tents with the Libertines and Atheists,
and keep Company with the unfortunate Fry of the Re-
probate. 'Tis true, could we believe without Doubts,
a little Mortification of our Paffions, fome Reſtraint up-
on Appetite might fecure us; but this, you fay, is im-
poffible, becauſe there are not to be found in Nature, Mo-
tives fufficient to fettle our Judgments in a firm Belief,
either of a Deity, or of Religion; fo that in fpight of
Fate, of Prudence and Virtue, poor Men muſt agonize
here under all the dreadful Convulfions of Fear; and, if
there be a God, under the Weight of his Revenge here-
after: This is a murdering Doctrine, Theomachus; and
if true, you muſt conclude, that Nature is a Step-mother
to Man, and that God created him in his Fury; that he
grac'd him with Knowledge, to fit him up for Miſery :
Let us rather fay, we may find fome Thread, if we take
the Pains to look about us, to guide us out of this wan-
dering Labyrinth: We may dive into things, till we fall
upon Certainty; and difcover whether Impofture lies
on our Side, or theirs who oppofe our Principles: But,
Sir, I have, I fear, treſpaſs'd upon your Patience, and
perchance good Breeding alfo: But pray charge my Dif
order with theſe Failings, and take an Excufe for Atone-
ment.
DIA-
X 2
308
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
i
DIALOGUE IX.
Eudoxus unsatisfied with the Difcourfe of Theomachus,
goes to Eufebius.
EUDOXUS return'd to his Lodgings with a heavy
Heart: He gave Scope to his Fancy, which warm'd
with the Morning Difpute, was become ungovernable :
It flew from one difmal Apprehenfion to another, till at
length it wandred into Hell, and drew out all the Ter-
rors of that wretched Region to ſcare him: The Con-
templation of that Place of Torment, of Fire, Darkneſs
and Defpair, ſqueez'd out Tears, Sighs, and Lamenta-
tions. Woe be to me, faid he, when I die here to Plea-
fure, if I live hereafter to eternal Pains: This may be
my Fate, and certainly will be, if Chriſtianity be the
only faving Religion, and there be any Puniſhment for
Infidelity; I fay it will be, unlefs I lay afide both
Doubts and Lewdnefs: This is an Affair of the higheſt
Confequence; it deferves my Solicitude, and will re-
ward my Labour with Intereft, which way foever it
turns. I will therefore think of no other Buſineſs, till I
have brought this to a happy Conclufion: By the Suc-
cefs of this I muft ftand or fall.
The Refolution was taken; but he foon found himſelf
in an unknown Region, without Stars, Map, or Guide to
fteer his Courſe by: He purfued Certainty, but knew
not in what part of the Globe it dwelt, or where to ad-`
dreſs himſelf for Direction. First, He thought to fall
upon Reading; for Books being the Product of Time
and mature Thoughts, are generally polifh'd; they tell
us how far our Underſtanding can go towards the Diſco-
very of Truth; and leaving Impertinencies behind, draw
off the Spirits and Effence from the Subject: But then
he was at a puzzle about the Choice: Bad Books, faid
he, are as contagious as lewd Company; and, what is
worfe, more frequent, and more affecting; for they are
fet off with luscious Expreflions, and with quaint Lan-
guage, which carries down the Poiſon with Pleaſure:
Like Ladies, they never appear in Publick, but under a
gaudy Drefs; and care is taken to wash over the Foulnefs
of the Subject with a pleafing Tarniſh: A Man may as
well
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
309
well learn Chaſtity in the Stews, Temperance in Ta-
verns, Honefty in Newgate, Meekness among Hectors,
and the Belief of a God among Atheiſts, as Chriſtianity
among theſe wretched Pamphlets. An ill Subject well
handled doubles the Danger of reading it; the Miſchief
riſes with the Wit, and infects in Proportion to the Art
of the Author. In fine, he was tofs'd from Refolution to
Refolution, without knowing which to refolve on;
till at length he reflected of Eufebius: 'Tis true, he had
no Acquaintance with the Gentleman, but being taken
with his Morning's Difcourfe, he was fatisfied of his Ca-
pacity, and judg'd favourably of his Probity. Theſe
Confiderations made him break through all Difficulties,
and the preſent Aches of his Mind, added Wings to the
Defire of finding a Lenitive.
He went therefore out of Hand to Eufebius's Lodg-
ings, and laid open the State of his Interior; he conjur'd
him by all that's facred to lend his Affiftance; and, if
poffible, to cure that Wound himſelf had made: Hę
fpoke with a Vehemency, that eaſily perfuaded Eufebius
he was in earneft; and his Suit was too juft to receive a
Denial.
Sir, faid Eufebius, you have addrefs'd your felf to a
Perfon, that is perchance lefs able than willing to affift
you: I affure you of my Readineſs; the Iffue muſt an-
fwer for my Ability. I am glad (pardon the Expreffion)
of your Diftemper: When we feel the Difeafe, there is
Hopes of a Cure; but when we have no Senſe of our
Condition, 'tis time to think of a Coffin. Neither fpurn,
nor kick at Providence for this painful' Ufage: The O-
peration, no doubt, is fharp, but withal neceffary;
Health of the Body is not recovered without Pain; an
Impofthume calls for a Lance, and Oppletion for unpa-
latable Evacuatories. The fame Methods are applicable
to Diſeaſes of the Soul: Whilft Confcience fuffers De-
bauchery without Murmur, without Complaint; whilft
we enjoy a profound Peace within us, in the midst of
Crimes, as well as of Innocence, we find no Inclination
to reform: That falfe Tranquillity lulls us afleep, it
keeps ferious Reflections at a Diſtance, and perfuades
our fooliſh Credulity, that no Danger threatens us, be-
cauſe we apprehend none: But when Offences fit uneafy
upon us, when Pleafures gall us, when Infidelity becomes
X 3
fufpected
310 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
fufpected, and Lewdneſs it felf troublefome; we begin
to furvey our Conduct, to compare the Prefent with the
Future, to face our Hopes with our Fears, and the De-
lights of this Life with the Torments of the other: And
when we diſcover thofe grofs Illufions we lie under, a
little ftruggling with the help of God's Grace, will break
through all Impediments which interpofe between us and
our Duty: Take therefore this Anguifh of Mind as a
Pledge of God's Kindneſs, and of your future Felicity;
he ftrikes in his Mercy, as well as in his Juftice; he
heals when he wounds, and fpares when he puniſhes:
Never defer the fearch of Truth, nor faulter till you
have found it: Slackneſs in a point of this Importance is
always dangerous, and fometimes mortal: When we
refufe God's kind Invitation, he often chaftifes our Incivi-
lities in Flagranti, and ſcarce leaves a Moment between
the Affront and the Revenge. When I was fome Years
ago in Flanders, an Officer of my Acquaintance gave me
a Vifit; he was one of thoſe, who make no Diſtinction
between Religion and Faction; who jeft at Faith, and
ſpend their Lives in its Service: He could no more be-
lieve that Church true he fought for, than that he fought
againft: He ridicul'd the one, and contemn'd the other;
he treated Morality ill in his Difcourfe, but worſe in
Practice: I thought a little Warmth and Expoftulation
were juftifiable on ſuch an Occafion, and ſo I took him
up roundly; I drew out in lively Colours the Horror of
his Life, the Unwarrantablenefs of his Proceeding, and
the Severity of thoſe Pains God had prepar'd for Liber-
tines in the next World; together with the Curfes that
would fall upon his Head in this: He took leave of me,
and retir'd to his Inn, but after Dinner he return'd: I
have often, faid he, receiv'd Proofs of your Kindness, but
never greater than this Morning: I have look'd into my
felf fince I faw you, and confefs my Cafe would be de-
fperate, had I lefs than an infinite Mercy to confide in:
Some urgent Buſineſs calls me to my Garriſon; but next
Week I will return, and advife with you about the grand
Affair of my Salvation. This is a Call from God, an-
fwer'd I, and perchance it may be the laft: The Cam-
paign draws near; and when once you have taken the
Field, you will neither be Maſter of your Time, nor your
Life; your Employment challenges that, and a Bullet
may diſpoſe of this before you are aware.
I
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
311
I am fenfible, reply'd the Gentleman, of my Cafe,
and of the Danger; and nothing fhall alter my Refolu-
tion; and ſo he departed. He kept his Word, and with-
in ten Days return'd; he paſs'd by my Lodgings, and
told me he would not fail after Dinner to wait upon me,
and hop'd to bring his Buſineſs to a happy Conclufion:
Permit me, Sir, faid I, to attend you at your Inn: 'Tis
much more eafy to fall into Company, than to difengage
your felf: Men of your Calling, had rather ſtorm a
Half-moon than affail Cuftom, or attack Ceremony:
But he would not hear of my Propofition; he left the
Company, and was on his way; when unfortunately he
met with a Friend, who invited him to a Bottle of Cham-
paigne: He would not accept of the Invitation; but the
other would not be deny'd: And fo at length away they
march'd together. One Bottle drew on another, and their
Debauch ended with the Night: In the mean time, an
Expreſs calls him to his Regiment: The French have taken
the Field; and all muft march to watch their Motions:
He returns home in Poſt; he goes to the Camp, and
ſhortly after loſes his Life at Steenkirk: We may truly
fay, this poor Gentleman was near Heaven; but God
fend the unhappy Rencounter of a Friend did not put him
out of the way! He was invited to Repentance, he made
a fair Advance; and, I may fay, the Bufinefs was al-
moſt finiſh'd, becauſe he ferioufly refolv'd to conclude it.
But a Bottle of Champaigne put in a demur: It fufpend-
ed the Execution; and then the fudden March of the
Troops broke off the Negotiation. He went to the Field
a Libertine, and in all Probability dy'd one. As God
touch'd his Heart, fo he has foftened yours: Pray, Sir,
let not Negligence miſuſe the Favour, nor turn it into a
Curfe: Let it ftand up for you at God's Tribunal, as a
Witneſs of Gratitude, not of Obftinacy. I counſel you
for fome Days to withdraw into a Place of Retirement :
Vifits will diftract you, and may ftifle your pious Refo-
lution, if your Defign takes air. If your Companions
learn you are going into another Intereft, they will raiſe
a hundred Batteries againſt your Conftancy; and though
you come off with Victory, you will not get clear of
their Temptations without Danger: I will willingly wait
upon you into the Country, if you can pitch upon a con-
venient Place.
X A
4
Eudox
312
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Eudox. You will infinitely oblige me: My Houſe is
but four Miles off; and, if you pleaſe, we will take
Coach this Evening.
Eufeb. I am content, but I muſt excufe my Departure
to Theomachus, otherwife he may fend Hue and Cry af-
ter me; and Si quis me in the next Gazette.
He fent him a Letter to let him know that a Buſineſs
of Importance requir'd his Prefence in the Country; that
he would diſpatch it with convenient Speed, and that the
fame Moment his Hands were rid of that Trouble, he
would return to profecute the Conference. Theomachus
anſwer'd he was his own Mafter; that he might take his
Time, and that he would expect his Return with Plea-
fure: They immediately took Coach, and arriv'd at Ez-
doxus's Houſe.
?
DIALOGUE X.
Eudoxus retires with Eufebius into the Country, where
they meet with Arioviftus, a High-flown Latitudina-
rian,
UDO XUS's Mother receiv'd her Son with Tender-
nefs: She was a Lady of a Piety above the common;
the lov'd her Son, but could not diffemble his Vices: She
often admoniſh'd him of the Danger he expos'd his Soul
to, and ſometimes mingled Tears with gentle Reproofs.
But his time was not yet come, and all her Admonitions
only ferv'd to heighten his Obduracy: Yet fhe gave not
over; fhe implor'd God's Affiftance in private, and be-
feech'd his Mercy to ftrike out of this Rock fome Tears
of Repentance; to recal this Prodigal, who had imbe-
zell'd all his Treafures of Grace, and pawn'd his Religi
on to Proſtitutes: Her Friends admir'd her Charity, and
pity'd it. Once a Divine affur'd her, that a Child of
Tears would never perifh: She took the Words for an O-
racle, and fancy'd he ſpoke by Infpiration: Though her
Son's Profanenefs touch'd her to the quick, the Hopes of
his Converfion kept her in Heart; and the more he ran
from Piety, the more fhe practis'd it.
When
:
The GENTLEMAN O
Inftructed. 313
When Eudoxus arriv'd, fhe read fome Change in his
Face; his Behaviour was more grave; his Looks more
fober, and all his Carriage breath'd an Air of Modeſty.
At firſt ſhe ſuſpected the Dice had run croſs, and that the
Cauſe of his Melancholy lay in the Pocket: Then fhe
fear'd he was hammering out fome amorous Intrigue, or
lay under the Mortification of a criminal Diſappointment.
But Eudoxus foon diffipated her Sufpicions, by telling the
Cauſe of his unexpected Arrival. She was over-joy'd at
the News, and almoſt funk under the Excefs: She gave
Eufebius a thoufand Thanks, and ftil'd him her Son's good.
Angel. They were fitting down to Supper, when in comes
Arioviftus with another Gentleman. The Lady was fur-
priz'd at the Arrival of fo unexpected a Gueft; his very
Sight drew the Blood to her Face, and though fhe was
Miſtreſs of her Words and Actions, fhe could not com-
mand her Refentment. She fear'd left this importune
Vifit might nip her Son's Refolutions, and daſh in Pieces
the Hope ſhe had of his Converfion. However, fhe forgot
not Civility in the very Heat of her Disturbance, and
skreen'd off her Concern with a hearty Welcome.
But after Supper ſhe took Eufebius afide, and expos'd
her Fears with all the Energy of Tears and Paffion. Sir,
faid fhe, God fend your Charity meet with Succefs: I
fufpect Ariovistus cloaks fome ill Defign under the ſpeci-
ous Outſide of a Vifit, and that another Errand brought
him here, befides meer Civility: His Morals run even
with his Religion; he believes what flatters Pride, and
acts whatever fawns upon Senfe; he goes upon one Prin-
ciple, which is to ftick at nothing, that fides with Inte-
reft, or gratifies Appetites. This Man firſt furniſh'd Eu-
doxus with corrupt Maxims, and Theomachus taught
him the Application. In fine, both have contributed to
his Deſtruction, and my Misfortune.
Eufebius defir'd her not to take the Alarm. I will find
occafion, faid he, to engage Ariovistas in a Difpute, I
doubt not of the Succefs: The Overthrow of the Mafter
may work upon the Scholar. He may yield to thoſe Rea-
fons Ariovistus, I am fure, will not be able to reſiſt.
The next Morning, when they fat together in the Par-
lour, Chance gave the cue to a hot Debate, that cover'd
Ariovistus with Confufion, and Eufebius with Glory.
DIA-
1
314
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
DIALOGUE XI.
God does neither command, nor permit us to conform to
the Religion of the Country where we live.
THE Poft brought Eudoxus a News Letter from Lon-
don, which gave an Account of new Laws enacted
againſt Papiſts.
Ariov. This Act is worthy of that great Affembly. I
have nothing against the Proceedings, but that it's too
moderate, and indulging: Befides, methinks it ſhould
have reach'd_all Diffenters; for all being guilty of Obſti-
nacy, none fhould be exempt from Puniſhment.
feb. How! Too indulging! What will you call fe-
vere rapifts are diffeiz'd of their Birth-right, ftrip'd of
Property, and expos'd to the Infolence of villanous Infor-
mers, and Catch-polls; and after all, you complain of Mo-
deration. Miſtake me not, Sir, I neither arraign the Wif
dom nor the Juftice of the Parliament: That Auguft Bo-
dy may have Reafons unknown to us: But I difapprove
your perfecuting Humour: Diffenters are our Fellow-
Subjects; the Relation deferves Tenderneſs, and calls for
fome Compaffion: It's Barbarity to out-rage a Felon at
the Bar, or to infult over a condemn'd Wretch at Tyburn,
much more over Diffenters; who, for ought we know,
have no other Crime, but their Religion.
Ariov. Let them conform, and they fhall enjoy the
Protection of the Government, and the Liberty of En-
gliſhmen: But if they take the Pet, and ſtray from the
eſtabliſh'd Worſhip of the Realm; the Common-wealth
muft take Notice of their Prevarication, and puniſh it:
And as thoſe who ſuffer for the Breach of Laws, die de-
fervedly; fo they who lay down their Lives for
any Re-
ligion out-law'd by the Common-wealth, are Malefa-
ctors, not Martyrs: They only pafs through one Puniſh-
ment into another: Thoufands, Eufebius, are cano-
niz'd here on Earth, that will never be Sainted in Hea-
ven.
Eufeb. Hold, Sir, this Doctrine ſhould be bleach'd; it's
fo monftroufly foul, there is no enduring it: It ſhould
pafs a Quarantaine in fome Lazaretta; methinks it
fmells
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
315
:
fmells rank of Infection. Blafphemy fits on every Sylla-
ble: What think you? Did St. Laurence and St. Stephen
die like Criminals? Are not their Names regiſter'd in the
Book of Life, as well as in the Martyrologue? Yet they
died for a Religion, condemn'd by the Supreme Autho-
rity of Rome and Fury. Sir, I would have you diſpute
this Point at the Old Baily. Blafphemy is puniſh'd with
Fire in this World, as well as in the next.
Ariov. Heat and Invective rather fret an Adverfary,
than convince him: More Reaſon and leſs Paffion, are
proper for a Man of your Age and Character: You are
on the Decay, Sir; your Deportment fhould be as cold
as your Blood; and your Paffions as grey as your Head.
I fay, God made Man for Commerce, we cannot live on
our own Fund; we muſt barter with our Neighbours;
and this Foreign Correspondence is requifite to furniſh our
Happineſs: A fociable Life is impracticable, (I would
fay impoffible) unlefs Inferiors lie under an indifpenfable
Obligation of obeying, and Superiors have an uncon-
troulable Power to ordain all thoſe things, that are ne-
ceffary to fupport and conferve Society.
Now, what can be more neceffary than Union, and
Harmony of Opinions? This cements all the Parts, and
moulds them into one great Body: It infpirits them to
Action in their defign'd Station: It combines their Inte-
reft; and by confequence their Endeavours: But when
their Minds are divided, their Interefts are feparated,
and then they club into Faction; and whilft each Cabal
drives at private Ends, the whole Fabrick of the Go-
vernment firſt totters, and then falls into Confufion.
But of all Divifions, thofe that fpring from Differences
in Religion have ever prov'd the moft fatal. Zeal has
open'd more Veins than Cruelty, and laid waſte more
Provinces than Ambition; it has rifled thofe very Places,
Avarice it ſelf left untouch'd, and fet on fire thoſe Reli-
gious Edifices, Impiety revered: It has brought fome
Princes to the Scaffold, and others to abdicate: In fine,
new Seditions break in upon the State with new Reli-
gions, and the eftablifh'd Government is always ftruck
at, with the eſtabliſh'd Church. Pretence of Piety leads.
the Van, but Sword, Cannon, and Defolation bring up
the Rear.
Seeing
316
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
!
Seeing therefore God commands us to live in Society,
he has impower'd the chief Magiftrate, with a full Com-
miffion to enact thofe Laws that are requifite for the fur-
thering this great Defign: Now nothing under Heaven
can be more neceffary, than a power to eſtabliſh Religi-
on, therefore God has entruſted every fupreme Magi-
ftrate with that Power; whence it follows, that every
Religion fettled by Law, binds all thoſe who live under
the Protection of that State; and by confequence I dare
not excufe any Diffenter from Treaſon, both againſt the
Common-wealth and God.
In a Word, we must conform our Belief to that of
the Country where we live; nor can any Pretence of
Confcience or Revelation exempt us from the Obligati-
on: Hence, I fay, that Stephen the Deacon loft his Life
at Jerufalem, as fairly as Stephen the Joyner at Oxford:
They both fell by the Law, and therefore juftly. Death
makes not a Martyr, but the Caufe; this alone diſtin-
guiſhes the Innocent from the Guilty.
:
Eufeb. Blefs me! where are we? The Jews tore their
Garments, when they heard Blafphemies, but Chriftians
turn it intoEntertainment; certainly nothing but Damna-
tion is able to force out fuch flaming Expreffions: Your
Diſcourſe is too rank to undergo a Diffection; it carries
with it a Complication of Crimes, that won't bear the
very naming Like flagitious Malefactors, they infect
on the Hurdle, and kill at their Execution: It's almoſt
fafer to diffemble, than to arraign them; and they are
taught, whilft they are reprov'd: But feeing you have
flung Poifon among the Audience, I'll venture to preſent
them an Antidote. You fay, St. Stephen dy'd a Rebel, no
Martyr; that he fell by Law, and confequently by the
Hands of Juftice: But this hellifh Logick argues our blef-
fed Saviour into Rebellion, and ftigmatizes him for a
convicted Confpirator; for certainly he died by Com-
mand of the Magiftrate: Innovation in Matters of Reli-
gion made up one part of the Charge againſt him, and
Treafon the other. I fuppofe this horrid Infolence lay
out of Sight; for Gentlemen of your Perfuafion are
fhort-fighted, and are ſo taken up with Principles, that
they overlook Illations: Remember, Sir, we live under
a pious Princeſs, and a reforming Parliament; fo that I
do not deſpair within fome Days to hear, that fevere
Laws
T
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
317
Laws are paſt againſt thoſe that blaſpheme God, as well
as againſt thoſe that ſerve him.
Arioviftus began an Apology, but Eufebius refus'd to
hear it. Sir, faid he, the Text is too plain to need a
Comment, and too horrid to deferve one: To excuſe
Blafphemy, is but a Hair's breadth from defending it :
The very hearing of the Word abates the Horror of the
Crime; for no Öffences are lefs detefted, than thoſe that
are often ſpoken of: Befides, I have only glanc'd at an
Inference; the Principle is more flagitious, and therefore
muſt be brought to the Bar. You fay God commands
us to conform to the Religion of the Country where we
live; and that to profefs any other, or to believe nothing,
is equally criminal.
Ariov. I fay fo.
Eufeb. Is your Affertion univerfal?
Ariov. It takes in all Religions; it reaches all Nations,
as well as all Ages.
Eufeb. God therefore commands me, when I am in
England,to deny Tranfubftantiation,Prayers for the Dead,
Seven Sacraments, &c. But if Buſineſs calls me to Paris,
Rome, or Madrid, he commands me to ſteer about, and
believe them: In Christendom I muft believe Chrift is.
God; but if a brisk Gale wafts me over into Afia, I
muſt deny it: At Conftantinople I muft fwear there is one
God, and that Mahomet is his Prophet; but at my re-
turn into the Weft, I muſt change my Tune, I muſt
fwear the Prophet into an Impoftor, and his Revelations
into Forgery: But if I fteer towards the North, and fet
up in Lapland, then I muſt bow to a Red Cloth, and
pour forth my Orifons to Madam Pufs: Again, if I
double the Cape, and put in at Cochin, I muſt fall pro-
ſtrate before an Ape's Grinder.
Ariov. Well, and what harm in all this?
Eufeb. Why truly, travelling will be expenfive: Be-
fore we fet out, we must provide ourſelves with Alexan-
der Roffe's View of Religions; we muſt make a handfome
Collection of Aftrolabe's Quadrants, and Jacob's Staffs, to
find the Lines of Longitude, and Latitude; for in your
Hypothefis, Mathematicks muſt be our Rule of Faith,
and Climates the Motives of our Credibility. This is a
pretty Syſtem, and has the Advantage of Novelty to re-
commend
318
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Commend it: I have often feen Controverfies try'd by
Scripture, Tradition, and Reaſon; but to compofe a Dif-
ference by Logarithms, Sinus's, and Tangents, is extra-
ordinary: The Invention is worthy of your Wit, and of
the fame Piece with your Piety: In good time you may
improve the Diſcovery, and find out the true Religion,
as we do true Guineas, by the Weight.
But if in England Tranfubftantiation be falfe, it can-
not be true in France, Spain, and Italy; and if in Europe
our Bleffed Saviour be really God, all the Power of the
Grand Seignior can never turn him into a meer Man in
Afia: In fine, if Mahomet be an Impoftor in the Weft,
how can he be a Prophet in the Eaft? For Truth is no
Trimmer, it will not ftand on both fides of the Contra-
diction.
It's evident therefore that God commands me to believe
a Falfhood, either in England, or beyond Sea; nay, and
engages his Authority to perfuade me: He threatens Hell,
if I refufe, and offers Heaven, if I conform. In England
I honour him, by fwearing Tranfubftantiation is a meer
Fiction, the Product of Ignorance, and Spawn of Super-
ftition; but this Tramontane Honour carries Damnation
with it at Rome; here I muſt fwear Tranfubftantiation is a
very real Thing, and fo fly in the Face of my own Evi-
dence. Perjury therefore in your Religion paſſes for an
Act highly meritorious, id eft, a fcandalous Crime for a
moſt edifying Virtue. What mad Notions do you frame
of God? You level him with Oates, and fling him below
Bedloe: You feem to acknowledge a Deity meerly to
make him capable of Contempt and Infamy.
Ariov. You miſtake me, I neither impeach God of
Forgery, nor Impoſture; I do not queſtion his Veracity,
nor ſquint upon his Sanctity: I only maintain he com-
mands me to be a Proteftant in England, and a Papiſt at
Rome; to believe Chrift is God in Queen Ann's Court,
and that he is a meer Man in the Sultan's; but he does
not engage his Word for Truth of either Side.
Eufeb. And, I fuppofe, he commands you to profeſs
Whiggifm in the Amfterdam Coffee-Houſe, id eft, to blend
Faction with Religion, and ſhroud Infidelity under Hy-
pocrify For look you, Sir, you cannot poffibly believe
the Articles of the Church of Rome true, without pro-
nouncing thoſe of the Church of England falfe: For thefe
:
are
1
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 319
are Negatives of the other; if God commands you to
chop Beliefs with the Climate, he commands you to play
the Hypocrite on one fide of the Water, which is a
Crime againſt the firft Principles of Reafon, and can no
*more be commanded by God, than practis'd by Man:
For fuch a Behaviour is a Burleſque, a Satyr on all Re-
ligion, and by confequence on the Author and Object
of it.
But again, if God commands me to be a Protestant
in England, and a Papift at Rome; a Turk in Afia, and a
Chriſtian in Europe, he engages his Word for a Falſity;
for the Church of England maintains the Articles of her
Belief were reveal'd; the Church of Rome fays the fame,
in Defence of hers; and the Mahometan Congregation
lays all its Impoftures on Revelation: When therefore
God commands you to be a Proteſtant, Papiſt, or Muſſul-
man, he commands you to believe he has reveal'd the
particular Tenets of thefe Sects, and confequently avou-
ches for the Truth of them; for whatever he reveals,
muſt be true: So that to oblige you to believe, he has
reveal❜d ſuch a Point, and to engage his Word for the
Truth of it, is one and the fame thing. Now the par-
ticular Tenets of theſe Churches črofs upon one another,.
and therefore all cannot poffibly be true; whence it fol-
lows that God engages his Authority for a Lye, and pawns
his Veracity for a Falfhood: You fubject his Sanctity to
a Weakneſs we all bluſh at, though we all commit it, and
even level him with Knights of the Poft.
Moreover, if Chriſt be a meer Man, how can God
command Chriftians to adore him? And if he be God,
how can he forbid the Turks, Neftorians, and Arians, to
pay him Homage due to his Divinity? God can no more
ſtrip himſelf of his Sovereignty, than of his Being; he
can as foon take a Creature into his Throne, as make o-
ver his Title to Adoration: In a Word, either Man can
offend, or he cannot; if he cannot, let him bid farewel
to all Religions, and take leave of Morality; let him
model his Actions by Epicure, and his Faith by Prota-
goras: But if he can offend, what clafhes more directly
with all Laws Natural and Divine, than Idolatry? If
this fpiritual Inceſt be innocent, what can be criminal?
And if God can command fo facrilegious an Action, what
can he forbid ?
Ariovistus
320
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Ariovistus was pinch'd, he ſaw himſelf in the Toils,
and knew not how to difengage himſelf; his Concern
flew to his Face, and every Pofture fhew'd Uneafineſs,
and Anger. Come, Sir, faid he at laft to Eufebius with
a forc'd Smile, I have miſtaken my Errand, I came not
to diſpute, but to be merry; let Arguments give Place
to a Bottle; it's more fatisfactory to fee the Bottom of
a Glaſs, than of a Queſtion, and to drain Bumpers, than
Controverfies ; we have run the firft Heat, it's time to
rub.
Eufeb. You Latitudinarian Gentlemen are ſtrange Crea-
tures, you hector Religion and Piety with ſuch a daring
Confidence, when you are out of the reach of an Ad-
verſary, that one would fwear both Senfe and Reaſon
had embrac'd your Intereft; but when you receive a
Blow, you retreat to Jefts, you parry againſt Proofs
with Railleries, and oppofe Laughter to Reafon. To
be plain, you mifplace your Paflions, you fmile when
you ſhould tremble, and laugh when you fhould cry:
Had you any Apprehenſion of a God, you would dread
thofe Flames, that his eternal Juftice has prepar❜d below
to burn, not to confume Blafphemies; theſe hideous
Flights of Prophanenefs and Impiety would be Pain and
Penance to you: You lay fuch defperate Commands to
his Charge, as fit him rather for Contempt than Vene-
ration, and make him more worthy of Horror than
Adoration; for if your Divinity be orthodox, he abets
Lyes, commands Idolatry, and perfuades Perjury; and
fo Man's Vices make up the Roll of his Perfections, and
we muſt revere in him what all human Laws puniſh in
us.
Ariov. You are difpos'd for a touch of Polemicks
but if you are above the Laws of Decency and Breeding,
I am not: I refolve not to turn Clown for Company; I
have too much Reſpect for my Lady to be clamorous in
her Prefence, and think it as genteel to duel, as to dif
pute before her: Befides, we are upon Theological Nice-
ties, unneceffary to be known by the Learned, and im-
poffible to be underſtood by the Vulgar.
Sir, faid the Lady, let no Ceremony break off the
Conference; we ftand not here upon Grimace, or Re-
ſervedneſs, and though we did, your Defeat will atone
for your Rudenefs: To be plain, I am impatient to fee
your
f
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
321
your Vanity laſh'd, your Pride difciplin❜d, and your rho
domontading Genius penanc'd with Confufion. How of
ten in my Houſe have you not only made a Practice, but
a Boaft of Prophaneneſs, and defended the Crime, by
committing a greater? You have lampoon'd thofe Gen-
tlemen that durft ftand up in Defence of Religion, and
daub'd them with the Reproaches of Bigotry and Super-
ftition; you queſtion their Judgments, and dubb'd them
Fools, who would not fwallow down all Religions; and
bluſter'd with impofing an Affurance, as if it were as eafy
to defend Libertinifm, as to abett it. Sir, you are in fight
of an Adverfary, look him in the Face, ftand your
Ground, and defend your Principles, or condemn them
by an Affidavit, that your Repentance may be as publick
as the Scandal: Your Honour is at Stake, and there is
no Mean between a Victory and an Overthrow.
1
This fudden Tempeft blown from an unexpected Quar-
ter, foon rais'd a Tumult in Arioviftus's Breaft; Shame,
Anger, and Revenge broke loofe, and fan'd his Refent-
ment to fuch a heighth, that it almoſt ſtifled his Reaſon.
He roll'd a hundred Thoughts in his Head, and almoſt
as many Refolutions, yet he could not fix on any; to
retaliate was not only unmanly, but alfo uncivil; for
though a Lady be not below a Man's Anger, ſhe is be-
low his Revenge: To break off the Difpute was diſho-
nourable, and to baffle Eufebius difficult; however, at
laſt having balanc'd his Fears with his Hopes, he conclu-
ded his Reputation would fuffer lefs by continuing the
Difpute, than flying it: For though Eufebius might foil
him with Reafon, he thought himſelf fuperior at Raillery;
which oftentimes even Men of Parts miftake for Wit,
and receive for Reafon. At leaſt he had found upon
perience, that Noife in Difputes ftands for Evidence, and
that thoſe carry off the Honour of Conqueft in the Opini-
on of the Audience, who fpeak loudeft, not who difcourfe
beſt: Theſe Confiderations fway'd him to accept of a
fecond Engagement; wherefore turning himſelf first to
the Lady:
Ex-
Madam, faid he, I thought I ow'd your Character
and Perfon fome Refpect, but feeing you are pleas'd to
forego the Debt, I fhall fupercede the Payment; I per-
ceive Deference is fometimes unacceptable, and˜¯ Civi-
lity clownish. I will therefore for the future take my
Y
Liberty
322
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Liberty, and never ftand off in Reftraint or Ceremo-
ny.
Then addreffing himſelf to Eufebius; Sir, continu'd
he, you miſunderſtand me: I mean not that God com-
mands us to conform to the Religion of the State where
we live. No, he permits us only; like the Royal Eagle,
he preys on Hearts; theſe he requires: So that if we love,
honour, and obey him, we keep up to the very heighth
of his Commands. He permits all exterior Ceremonies,
though vain, fuperftitious, and wicked; a good Intenti-
on fanctifies an ill Action, and the Uprightneſs of our
Hearts compounds for the Errors of our Worſhip: In
fine, Sir, God looks on all the Failures of our Under-
ſtanding as pure Miftakes, not Crimes; and thoſe he can-
not approve, he pities.
Eufeb. I underſtood you before, and apprehend you at
prefent: You draw the Thefis into a lefs Compaís, and
turn God's Command into a bare Permiffion; id eft, I
have driven you from one Retrenchment, and you are
clap'd behind another; but this is no more ftable, than
the firft, and you will be forc'd to furrender.
Tell me,
does God permit all Religions?
Ariov. All that are, or ever were in the World.
PA
Eufeb. All? That Man certainly deferves Damnation,
that can find no Religion to his Gouft: But do no Acti-
ons outrage Nature?
Arioviftus made a Paufe, and feem'd at a lofs for an
Anſwer; he faw what Eufebius drove at, and that he
only coafted the main Queftion, to draw him into an
Ambufcade. Sir, faid he, your Quare is captious; and
though fome are of Opinion, that Virtue and Vice are
rather Names than Things; yet I condefcend fo far, as
to grant that Murders, Blafphemies, and Adulteries flie
at Nature, and are in a very obvious and literal Senſe
criminal and opprobrious.
•
Eufeb. God, I ſuppoſe, permits not theſe unnatural
Abominations; if he has no Puniſhments in referve for
fuch profligate Offenders, under-rate Tranfgreffors may
expect a Recompence.
Ariov. God difapproves fuch hideous Enormities as
fhame Nature, and even entrench upon Breeding; they
deferve Hell, and will feel it, unlefs Repentance appeafe
Divine Juftice.
Eufeb.
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 323
Eufeb. Why then this Permiffion is no more univerfal,
than the Command; for if God's Permiffion comprehends
not Crimes that affail Nature, it takes not in thofe Reli-
gions that infult Nature in the very act of Worfhip. Strike
off the Catalogue, the Religion of the Mexicans, who
to honour their God, broke through all the natural Laws
of Juftice, and Honefty: For they firft invaded the
neighbouring Provinces with Fire and Sword, and then
ripp'd open the Breafts of twenty thoufand Captives up-
on the facrilegious Altars of their barbarous Divinities,
and by a bloody Metamorphofis turn'd Cruelty into Pie-
ty, and worshipp'd God, by prophaning Nature.
The Superftition of the Peruvians lies open to the fame
Exception: Thefe favage Idolaters dy'd the Earth with
the reeking Gore of human Sacrifices, and polluted their
Temples with unnatural Proftitutions; they train'd up
Youths for that lewd Purpoſe, and hallow'd their moſt
Religious Rites with the moft flaming Abominations :
In a Word, Nature forbids, what their impure Gods
commanded, and human Laws purge with Fire the moſt
effential acts of their Religion.
If we leave America, and fhip for Afia, we ſhall meet
with the fame Vices; tho' the People are more civiliz'd,
they are not lefs brutal. The Thracians, Huns, and Pho-
nicians worship'd their Deities, by worrying their own
Species, and fo built their Piety on Murders and Cruel-
ty. In Africa the Superftition of the Carthaginians was
more formidable than their Arms; and their Prieſts were
more cruel in their Temples, than their Generals in the
Field: They lock'd poor Infants in the glowing Statues
of Saturn, and plac'd their Devotion rather in the Tor-
ment, than Death of Innocents. The old Egyptians
drown'd their Reafon in Honour of Mars; and then
profecuted their Devotions with Clubs and Swords; and
he was judg'd the moft zealous, who had the leaſt of a
Man, and moft of a Butcher.
The Babylonians and Phoenicians defil'd their Temples
with Whoredom and Sodomy. Proftitution always pre-
ceded Marriage; and thofe Women who refus'd to fhave
their Heads, were doom'd to expofe their, Honour, and
to adorn the Temple of Venus with the Spoils of their
Chaſtity: So that thofe infamous Religions branded Ho-
nefty with Infamy, they ftigmatiz'd Continence, ennobled
Lewdness.
Y 2
I blush
324
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
I bluſh at the very Thought of the Rites of Venus the
Corinthian, where Women were ordain'd Prieſts by th-
moft fcandalous and outragious Acts of Luft, and confee
crated by Adulteries: They were Strumpets before they
could be qualified for Priesthood, and deſerv'd Bridewell
to be fit for the Altar. I fuppofe thefe Religions come
not within the Pale of Permiffion: For how can God
permit thoſe Actions good Men condemn, and Debau-
chees blufh at; that ftartle Nature, and confound Wick-
edneſs? He muſt take notice of ſuch Enormities, or re-
nounce Sanctity; he muft punifh them, or let fall his
Claim to Juftice: In fine, he must maintain his Character.
The Atheiſt who denies God, is lefs criminal than he
who worſhips him with Murders and Fornication.
Ariov. God permits not thofe Religions that affront
Nature, and difcard the firft Principles of Reafon: When
Temples become Slaughter-houfes, and Priefts Butchers;
when the Stews are confecrated, and Adulteries cano-
niz'd, it's time to feparate from fuch Congregations.
Eufeb. You found a Retreat: Firft God commanded
to conform to the Religion of the Country where we
dwell; then you turn'd his Command into a Permiffion,
and now you reſtrain this: Like the Parthians you fight
in your Retreat, and place your Safety in your Heels.
But this Expedient will not anfwer Expectation; I have
you in View, and will not leave the Chace, till I have
either run down your Impiety or confounded it. But, Sir,
fuppofe a Montezuma fhould threaten Death, unleſs you
abjur'd Chriſt for Vitziliputzli, would not God, on fo
preffing an Occafion, permit you to embrue your Hands
in human Sacrifices?
Ariov. No Man living in a noble way fears Death leſs
than my felf
felf; I would come into the World meerly to
make a handſome Exit; yet I would not part with my
Life for a Ceremony: My Belief is not untractable, it
can bow upon Occafions, and connive at thofe things it
does not approve: What is not impious, is always law-
ful; and therefore I would rather upon an Exigency con-
form, than dye. Tho' I am fure there are Antipodes,
I would not, like that fooliſh Biſhop, maintain the Truth
at the Expence of my Blood; this would be to trifle a-
way Life, and is rather a Demonftration of my Folly,
than of the Roundneſs of the Earth.
Should
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
325
Should Montexuma command me in his Dominions to
abjure Chriſt, I fhould reverence his Orders; for the fu-
preme Magiftrate's Will is the Law of the Subject: But
whether I might in Confcience efpoufe his Religion is a
Cafe worthy of fome fober Reflections: For Life is a
tender thing; Self-prefervation has Charms, and the un-
experienc'd Condition of Separation is a very lawful Pre-
text to ſtay in the World: To be fired or baſtinadoed
hence is a painful Operation, and we are not oblig'd to
fuch a troubleſome Removal.
Befides, Life, I conceive, was given us for noble Ends,
and therefore we must not part with it out of a Bravado :
If we disband, and leave our Colours without our great
Mafter's Leave, we fhall pay for our Defertion, and
meet with a worfe Welcome from an angry God in the
next World, than from a barbarous Emperor in this. See-
ing therefore I may give my Heart to God, whilft I of-
fer human Sacrifices to the Mexican Idol, I may rather
conform, than die for Difobedience: For he who forces,
commits the Sin, if the Action be unlawful, not he who
obeys by Compulfion.
The Company ſtartled at this ftrange Divinity; Amaze-
ment tied their Tongues, and Horror run through every
Joint. At laft, It's well, cry'd Eufebius, we have Scrip-
ture to appeal to, otherways we might be puzzled by the
Impudence of thofe, who treat Goodness unhandfomely
by Practice, and unchriftianly by defending their Excelles:
Their Manners are fo bad, that nothing can be worſe but
the Wit and Confidence they employ to excufe them. I
fee, continued Eufebius, you meaſure Man's Perfections
downwards, and judge him more reaſonable, the lefs he
acts with Reaſon.
You are a Leveller in Morality as well as in Religion,
and make no Diftinction between Vice and Virtue; or at
leaſt with an extatick Turn of the Heart, you transform
one into the other: This is Direction of Intention with
a Witneſs. A Man that can juggle the moft flagitious
Crimes into Piety, muſt be born under a very unfortu-
nate Star to miſcarry. You may dip your Hands in Blood,
plunge your Body into the very Sink of Lewdneſs,
and with a fafe Confcience make over your Soul to the
Devil; an omnipotent Caft of the Heart, rectifies all, a
good Intention atones for a bad one.
Y 3
But
1
326
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
But why did you juft now exempt from the general
Permiffion of thofe Religions, that in the Act of Worſhip
affront Nature? For you may turn your Heart to God e-
very jot as well, when your Life is fecure, as when it's
endanger'd; fo that if Direction of Intention falves Con-
ſcience on fome Occafions, it may on all: Do not Mur-
ders, Cruelties, and moft unnatural Lufts turn upon Na-
ture when my Life lies at Stake, as well as when it does
not? Do they jar with Reafon when I hazard nothing,
and fawn upon it when I rifque All? Certainly Sins of
this black Dye vary not with Circumftances, they change
not their Nature as the Cameleon does his Colour; their
Blackneſs lies in the Complexion, not on the Fancy;
they are always the fame, id eft, odious to God, and a-
bominable in the Sight of Men.
You fay Life was given us for noble Ends, and there-
fore must not be flung away, either in a Pet or Bravado:
It's true, but then what can Imagination frame more
noble, more fublime, than the Defence of God's Ho-
nour, and our own Nature? Than to vindicate the juſt
Rights and Prerogatives of Virtue from the illegal U-
furpations of Vice? Theſe Enterprizes are worthy of a
Man; it's more glorious to die for fuch a Caufe, than to
conquer in the Field. When we facrifice our Lives for
him who gave them, our Generofity will be pleaded to Ad-
vantage, not only in the next World, but alſo in this. No
Action is truly glorious, that is not virtuous; and there-
fore your Cafars and Alexanders in fpite of all Trophies
are infamous in the Sight of God; their Temerity is laught
at by the Angels, and their Ambition feverely punifh'd by
the Protector of Orphans, and juft Avenger of Pupils:
They had nothing great but Pride and Folly; their Glory
fprung from Plunder, and their Renown from Slaughter;
but if they deſerve Praiſe for ranfacking Cities, for over-
turning Kingdoms, and invading Empires, we may makę
Panegyricks of Plagues, raife triumphal Arches to Fa-
mines, and erect Statues to Hurricans, and Inundations:
In a Word, we live meerly to ferve God; this is our End,
and a noble One: Paffion indeed, or Difcontent, are ill
Diſeaſes to die of, but then Libertinifm is a dangerous
Motive to live: Our Difobedience is no lefs criminal,
when we refuſe to quit our Poft upon Command, than
when we abandon it without Order: We are diſcharg'd
of
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
327
of the Duty of Living, when we muſt purchaſe Breath at
the Expence of Confcience; and certainly we forfeit In-
nocence, when we commit, or abett Murders or Adulte-
ries; and by confequence, a Man muft part with Life,
when we cannot keep it without Treafon againſt Nature,
and Rebellion againſt its Author.
But, I fuppofe, the noble End you propofe to your
felf, is to ſpin out Life, as long as the Thread will reach;
to ſtretch Nature to its utmoft, and not to venture one
fingle Pulfe, but upon good Security of Pleafure: You
had rather ſpend it in the Service of Venus than of Vir-
tue; rather conſume by Inches, and paſs through a Courſe
of Phyfick, or a Sweating-Tub into the next World,
than to be well one Moment, and dead the next: If you
call this a noble End, you will be at a Lofs to affign an
infamous one: In fhort, you are relaps'd into your first
Error, and only defend it with a new-found Extrava-
gance: The Amendment is ridiculous, and impious into
the Bargain.
Ariovistus faw he had ſpoke his Mind too frankly, be-
fore an Audience unacquainted with fuch Libertine Prin-
ciples, and therefore he very nicely confefs'd, he had hi-
therto play'd the Fool. Sir, faid he to Eufebius, though.
fome abett the Doctrine I have deliver'd, yet it difpleafes
me: I cannot cloſe with fuch wild Ideas of Religion, and
rather propos'd 'em as a Jeft than a Truth: I cannot
commit a Crime to fave my Skin, nor even purchaſe Life
at the Price of Murder, or Adultery; and therefore I
freely grant, that thofe Religions that enjoy Abominati-
ons in their Rituals and Liturgies, are out-dated, and ex-
empted from the general Permiffion.
}
Eufeb. I must own you have made a handſome Retreat;
you have given a pretty Turn to a monftrous Principle;
but for the future, pray remember, that to blafpheme in
jeft, is to fin in earneft. All other Religions at leaſt are
ftanch, are they not? I put this Queftion to avoid Mi-
ſtakes, for we have been to Day upon the Blunder.
Ariov. They are.
Eufeb. Remember your Conceffion, for by and by we
fhall difcard all the idolatrous Worfhips of the Old
World, together with thofe of the New: The Roman,
Grecian, and old Affyrian Polytheiſm, will no more pafs
Mufter, than that of Mexico, or Peru; Jupiter, Apollo,
Y 4
Mars,
328
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Mars, Juno, and Minerva, will be kick'd out of their
Temples, as well a Vitziliputzli. Will God be wor-
ſhip'd as an eternal Being, or as a Creature; as Ratio-
nal, or Irrational; as infinitely Holy, or as an Adulter-
er, Drunkard, or Murderer?
Arioviftus faw the Drift of this Quare, and was at a
ftand for a handfome Anfwer; he perceiv'd himſelf en-
compaſs'd on all Sides, and knew not which way to
evade the Danger: To fay God requires to be honour'd,
as a Being infinitely Holy, infinitely Wife, Eternal and
Independent, was to give up the Caufe without Dif-
pute, and to acknowledge himſelf foil'd before the Com-
bat: On the other Side, he durft not venture to affirm,
God is content to be worſhip'd as a Creature, an Adulte-
rer, or a Murderer; he thought fuch hideous Abfurdities
would grate upon the Ears of his Auditors, unaccuſtom'd
to Blafphemies, and ill-difpos'd to hear them with In-
dignation.
The Gentleman that came with him, faw his Concern,
and refolv'd to difingage his Friend from the Embarraſs;
wherefore (turning himſelf to Eufebius) the Anfwer, faid
he, to your Quare, in my Opinion is obvious: God
requires that Worfhip which correfponds to the natural
Knowledge we have of him; now Nature tells me, he'
is a Being Eternal, Independent, infinitely Wife, and in-
finitely Holy, therefore God commands us to adore him
under this Notion.
Eufeb. You have brought the Controverfy to the very
Point I defir'd, and have utterly defeated your Friend's
Syftem: For if God must be ador'd as Eternal, Indepen-
dent, infinitely Wife, infinitely Holy, had I been at Rome
in the Reign of Jupiter, Apollo, Mercury, &c. I could
not have believed nor talked of God as the Romans did
much leſs had it been lawful in Egypt to adore an Onion,
an Ox, a Crocodile, or a Hippopotamus; for theſe Crea-
tures have no Perfection, that comes near thoſe noble At-
tributes of Eternity and Independence.
Saturn was Jupiter's Father, Juno his Sifter, fo that
their Nativity muft fall infinitely fhort of Eternity; it's
of a very freſh Date, of a late Edition, and younger than
Time: They had a Father, and therefore are depen-
dent; their Sanctity keeps pace with their Eternity:
Jupiter first welter'd in his Father's Blood, and then
ufurp'd
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 329
ufurp'd his Kingdom; fo that he rather deferv'd to be
flung into the Tybur with a Cock and a Serpent, than to
be feated in the Capitol; and the Gemonia better fuited
with his Crimes, than an Altar. Juno was a Mifs, even
to her Brother, and as infamous for Scolding, as her In-
ceft; fhe deferv'd at leaft a Houfe of Correction for the
firft Crime, and a Ducking-ftool for the fecond. Mer-
cury was a Jack of all Trades; fometimes he play'd the
Piper, fometimes the Sharper; he turn'd Poft-Boy upon
Occafions, and then Cut-Purfe: And to fhew the World
he could ftoop to the bafeft Crimes, as well as the meaneſt
Employments, he fets up for a Pimp, a Pander, and Pro-
curer. Apollo may be faid to be better than his Father, only
becauſe he was not quite ſo bad: His Amours were with-
out Number, as they were without Shame: The Hea-
then Theology feems to have drawn in this Perfon the Pi-
cture of a perfect Beau; for it allow'd him fome Wit,
more Beauty, a World of Impudence, but no Confci-
Theſe were Divinities of the firft Class, majorum
Gentium, Gods of Quality and Figure, in fine, of the
Upper-House; and yet Partiality it felf would not have
clear'd them at any Bar: I except the Right of Ignoramus
Juries, when Crimes found Mercy, and Innocence Hal-
ters. The Egyptian Deities, Ofyris and Anubis, were of
the fame Stamp; they were neither better, nor more an-
cient, than thofe of Rome and Greece.
ence.
Now, Sir, if God commands us to worſhip him as an
eternal and independent Being, we cannot clap in with a
Roman, Grecian, or Egyptian Congregation; nay, nor
with any idolatrous one, that is, or ever was in the
World: For they tell us, God is a Man, a Woman, a
Snake, a Tree, a Crocodile, and a Red-Cloth; but it's evi-
dent theſe poor Creatures can claim no Right to Eternity,
much lefs to Independence; therefore had I liv'd in theſe
blind Ages, when Serpents crawl'd upon Altars, and
Monſters invaded Temples, I could not proftrate my ſelf
before them; I must have proteſted againſt the Impiety,
and rather have fallen by the Magiftrate's Hand, than
have paid Obedience to his Law.
Again, God will be worship'd as infinitely Holy; how
then can you fall proftrate before an incestuous Jupiter,
a thieving Mercury, a bloody Mars, a peevish Juno, or
a proſtitute Venus? Such Crimes entertain no Commerce
1
with
1
330
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
with Sanctity; their place is Hell, not Heaven, and the
Criminals rather deferve Infamy and Tortures, than A-
doration. Does he adore God as infinitely Holy, who
acknowledges him guilty of Inceft, Murther, Felony,
and even of thofe Offences, that fright and ftartle Na-
ture? That put to the Bluſh, not only the Modeſty of
the Innocent, but alſo the very Impudence of the
Guilty? In fine, that infect Hell, and plague the Dam-
ned?
Moreover, God requires to be honour'd as a Being in-
finitely Wife; by what Rule therefore can you, with thoſe
of Coromandel, fay and believe he is an Ape? With the
Romans, Grecians, and all the other idolatrous People of
the World, he is a Man, a Statue? or with the fuper-
ftitious Egyptian, he is an Onion, a Wolf, a Crocodile ?
Some of theſe fantaſtical Deities are even void of Senfe,
much more of Reaſon; and the Men-Divinities have
left Poſterity no other Marks of their Reaſon, but their
Crimes: We know they had fome Wit, by the enormous
Abuſes of it; their Wiſdom had a ſmall Reach, it went
no farther, than to lay Snares for fond Boys, or for fim-
ple Girls: Seeing therefore all the idolatrous Worſhip
that ever was in the World, fince the Birth of Polytheism
to this very Moment, clafhes with thofe Notions under
which God will be adored, you can no more join with
any idolatrous Congregation, than with its Crimes. It
remains therefore, that God's Permiffion is no more uni-
verfal, than his Command; and though at first you were
pleas'd to extend it to all Religions except two or three,
you must now turn the Tables, and exclude all but two
or three. So that to conclude, that great Principle, we
must conform to the Religions of thofe Countries where we
live, is not only notorioufly falfe, but alſo fcandalous to
Extravagance.
Ariov. You fancy I am run a-ground, and that you
have wounded my Principles beyond Recovery; but ftay,
you have been upon the Ramble, and miſtaken your
Way: You reafon upon a falfe Bottom; for you fup-
pofe Heathens worſhipp'd Creatures, and paid Homage
to Statues; whereas moft certainly they ador'd the true
God under thoſe fenfible Refemblances; nor can you
reaſonably preſume they worſhip'd Men, Statues, or Beasts,
unleſs you ſuppoſe them Fools, to make them impious. I
might
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
33r
might then with a fafe Confcience adore Jupiter, Apollo,
and Venus at Rome, and would now (were I in the In-
dies) bend before Ram, or in Japan before Zacas; for
thefe vifible Objects are but dark Emblems, or different
Names of God bleſſed for evermore. Tho' therefore God
commands me to adore him, as eternal, independent, in-
finitely Holy, and infinitely Wife, he has not determin'd
under what Name; tho' we call him Jupiter, Mars, or
Apollo, he fcorns to formalize; if Ram, Zacas, or Amidas,
he will not pet: A great Name adds not a Grain to his
Perfections, nor can a vulgar Appellation diminiſh them.
In fine, Reafon teaches us his Nature, but his Name we
learn from Cuſtom, and this will vary till you bring all
Languages to their primitive Unity; fo that, methinks,
you have all this while skirmish'd with a Shadow, or
fenc'd with a Nothing: You have rais'd a fottiſh Idola-
try in your Brain, meerly to deftroy it; but great Wits
often miſtake the Queſtion, as well as great Blockheads:
Like ill-bred Spaniels, they run at Check on a falſe Scent;
fluſh their own Fancies for their Adverfaries Opinion,
and cry Victory, when they have handfomely lafh'd their
own Errors.
Eufeb. Becaufe juft now I put you in Mind of fome
Miftakes, and cenfur'd feverely a Vein of fhuffling that
runs through all your Difcourfe, you very fairly cruife
for Repritals, and would fain bring me in guilty of the
fame Over-fight, I have legally prov'd upon you. Believe
me, Sir, I have not caper'd in the Air: I aim'd at your
Principle, and have hit it; and you are fenfible enough I
am come up to the very Point in Debate, and ſo ſtart a
new Queſtion, either to entangle me, or to delude the
Audience. But I intend not to wade far in this Contro-
verſy, whether the Pagans adored the true God under the
Shape of Jupiter, Apollo, &c. Doctor Stillin. maintain'd
they did, but all impartial Men wifh'd he had employ'd
his Talents on a more defenfible Subject; for certainly
his Reputation fuffer'd in the Enterprize, and he had
fhew'd more Judgment in ftepping over fo nice a Point,
than he did Wit, in treating it fo little to the Purpoſe.
However, becauſe you have flung this Difficulty in my
Way, I muſt take fome Notice of it; not that the Iflue
of our preſent Difpute depends on the Decifion of this
Queſtion; but becauſe I am refolv'd to give you full
Satis-
232
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Satisfaction, I fay then, That the Heathens did not adore
the true God, under the Name of Jupiter, Mars, Apollo,
&c. and this is ſo manifeſt a Truth, that a Man muſt
fhut his Eyes to overlook it: Dii non fuerunt ab æterno,
fed ita eorum quifquis natus eft ut nos nafcimur. Your Gods
(fays Athenagoras to the Gentiles) are not eternal, they
were all born, as we are: And Min. Felix laughs at the
Pagans for adoring thofe as Gods, who were born and
died like Men: Manifeftum eft homines illos fuiffe, quos
&natos legimus, & mortuos fcimus. St. Cyprian de Idol.
Van. proves they were not Gods, becauſe they have been
Kings. Deos non effe, quos colit Vulgus hinc notum eft:
Reges enim fuerunt: And when fome Gentiles (to delude
thofe Chriftian Arguments they could not anfwer) had
the Impudence to deny they worship'd any Man, Arnobi-
us confutes their wretched Evafion, and proves home up-
on them, they really adore Men, though they bluſhed to
own the Folly, lib. 11. cont. Gent. Vos hominem nullum
colitis? Non unum vel alium? Non innumeros alios? Quin
imo non omnes, quos in Templis veftris mortalium sustuli-
ftis ex numero, & coelo fideribufque donaftis? Et infra jam
profecto difcetis quibus finguli patribus, quibus matribus fu-
erint procreati; qua in regione nati, qua gente, quæ fece-
rint, egerint, pertulerint. But to put an end to the Con-
troverfy, take a Turn to the Capitol, and you will fee
what Opinion the Pagans had of Jupiter, qui ejus nutri-
cem in Capitoli pofuerunt, who plac'd his very Nurſe,
Wife, Sifter, and Daughter in this auguft Temple. I
might here bring a Cloud of Witnefles, who liv'd and
convers'd with Heathens, who ſtudied their prophane
Theology to confute it; who were Men of Learning and
Probity, and never calumniated an Adverfary to opprefs
him: But what I have ſaid ſuffices to convince a rational
Man, that the Pagans adore Creatures, not the Creator,
under borrow'd Names as you pretend.
Ariov. Indeed the Vulgar might poffibly miſtake the
Fables of Homer for Articles of Religion, and model
their Faith by Ballads; they might divide God into Sex,
and worſhip Men and Women before Statues their Re-
prefentatives; but you muſt grant this grofs Impiety con-
cern'd only the Rabble, the Philofophers and leading Men
were above fuch an Abfurdity,
Eufeb.
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
333
Eufeb. No doubt the Philofophers condemn'd in thei
Hearts thoſe very Deities they ador'd; but their Practice
varied from their Judgment; and tho' they were Theifts
in the Schools, they were Polytheifts in the Temples.
God was not worſhip'd according to the Ideas of Philofo-
phers, but of Poets. Quid fibi vult ifta non poetica fed
inimica plane Varietas, Deos fecundum Philofophos in libris
quærere, fecundum Poetas in templis adorare. Aug. lib. z.
de Confen. Evan. Cap. 23. And if you doubt of this, I
muſt defire you once more in St. Auftin's Name to enter
into the Capitol; this was the Seat of Jupiter, O. M. id
eft, of Rome's fupream God. Here you will find Amal-
thea a Goat, who nurs'd this Diety, his Sifter, Wife and
Daughter; evident Arguments the Romans thought he
was a Man to whom they paid fupream Honour: For if
they thought he was eternal, why gave they him a
Nurfe? If independent, why did they confeſs he ow'd
his Prefervation to Goat's Milk? And then, if he were
not a Man, what did he with a Wife; or how came
he by a Daughter? Do not tell me, theſe are poetical
Inventions; I know they are: But thefe Fables were ex-
pos'd by the heathen Divines, and cull'd out of Poems
to piece up Religion; they were abfurd, it's true, yet
believ'd by fome, and reverenc'd by all. In fine, if Poets
invented them, the Priefts adopted 'em; they were con-
vey'd from the Stage to the Temple by Blindneſs and
Superftition, and what Men laugh'd at in one place, they
adored in the other. Nunquid & Capitolia Romanorum
opera funt Poetarum? Auguft, Lib. 6. de Civ. Dei.
But if we fuppofe againſt Scripture, againſt the Au-
thority of Pagans themfelves, and the concurrent Teſti-
monies of Ages, that the Heathens. did adore the fu-
pream God blessed for evermore; this will not better your
Caufe, nor prejudice mine: For ftill it's as clear as
plain Fact can make a Thing, that when they worship'd
him under the Shape of Jupiter, they clap'd upon his infi-
nite Sanctity Rapes and Adulteries; they impeach'd him
of Robberies under the Notion of Mercury, of Cruelty
under that of Mars, &c. Nay, they ftrip'd him of all
Wiſdom under the Figures of Beafts, and even of Senfe
under thofe of Onions, Fire, and Water. If therefore we
are oblig❜d to adore God as a Being Eternal, Independent,
infinitely Holy, and infinitely Wife'; you could not believe
nor
334
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
nor worſhip God, as the old Heathens did, nor can you
go over to any Pagan Society that now is, either in the
Eaft or West-Indies: For tho' they do worship the true
and invifible God, under vifible and material Images, yet
they charge him with a thouſand Impertinences, deftru-
Etive to thofe Notions under which he commands Wor-
fhip. So that we muft reform your Thefis, and dafh out
of the univerfal Permiffion, not only two or three, but
two or three thouſand Religions eſtabliſh'd in the World
by Custom, and maintain'd by all the Supports of Force
and Authority: For they outrage Nature, and burleſque
God's most facred Attributes; they rifle his Majefty,
entrench upon his Wifdom, afperfe his Sanctity, and
turn his very Being into Farce and Raillery.
Arioviftus was at a Nonplus, and his Concern flew to
his Face: Nay, his ufual Confidence withdrew, and
even Raillery, and laft Defence of Libertines, deferted
him; fo that he made a Figure worthy of Laughter and
Compaffion: At laft he refolv'd to gain Time for Refle-
ction, and therefore addreffing him felf to the Lady;
Madam, ſaid he, I have almoft talk'd my felf out of
Breath, an Hour's refpite will not be unfeafonable; with
your leave, we will put off the Conclufion till the Even-
ing.
Upon Condition, anfwer'd the Lady, you'll return
to the Conference, or condemn your Principle.
Ariov. I'll be bound for my Appearance, or if you ask
better Security, my Friend, I prefume, will give in Bail
for my forth-coming: Then turning himſelf to Eufebius;
we are, continu'd he, in the Pit, and muft fight it out:
There is no place left for Retreat. Leaving the Compa-
ny, he walk'd into the Garden, rather to conceal his Cha-
grin, than to take the Air: And indeed I wonder not at
his Concern; for it's obferv'd, that tho' Libertines hate
Confcience, they are fond of Honour; they are Crea-
tures made up of Pride and Arrogance, and therefore
neither know how to bear an Advantage with Modera-
tion, nor a Diſappointment with Patience.
When he was gone, I am furpriz'd, faid the Lady, at
the Gentleman's Confidence; furely his Aflurance weighs
more than his Judgment; why elfe will he bring his
Cauſe to another Hearing? I love not to laugh atano-
ther Man's Misfortune, nor to draw Pleafure from his
Con-
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
335
:
Confufion But, methinks, I cannot be forry to fee Ir-
religion puniſh'd in its grand Protector: Humiliations
work more on a Libertine's Underſtanding, than Demon-
ſtration; and thoſe that cannot be argu❜d out of looſe
Principles, are fometimes fham'd out of them.
Were the Virtue of Arioviftus equal to his Wit, faid
his Friend, nothing can be more accomplish'd than he;
but I must own, his Morals are bad, and his Principles
worfe: He laughs at the difference between Good and
Evil; and I have heard him fay, No Sin is blacker, than
the very thinking there is any; nay, he defines Sin, a thing
that fome live by inveighing against, and others by practif-
ing. And hence it is, that he not only makes a Practice,
but a boaſt of Sin, and defends it with as much Greedi-
nefs as he commits it.
Eufeb. But, Sir, tho' fuch Men carry off the Reputa-
tion of Wit, they have too little of the Man, to be the
Standard of Mankind; we are not, God be thank'd,
Fools enough to take Scoffs for Arguments, nor Raillery
for Reafon He is a great Ignoramus, who knows not
that it's eaſier to fport with Virtue, than to practiſe it;
indeed, if Arioviftus could jeft Sin into Nothing, his
Mirth would not be unreaſonable; but the wild Humour
of a Debauchee, cannot work upon the Nature of things:
Wit may dive into Effences, but not tranfmute them.
However, I hope to reafon the Gentleman out of Conceit
both of his Wit and Religion, and to perfuade him that
thofe are Fools who fport themſelves into Hell; and
that none more certainly do fo, than thoſe who make a
Jeft of Sin, and a Pageant of Religion: For tho'a Man
who dares defy God, and look Damnation in the Face,
may be witty, I am fure he is fuperlatively fooliſh.
Eudoxus was no lefs mortify'd than Ariovistus. He was
not indeed concern'd at his Difgrace; no, he rather felt
Symptoms of Indignation than of Pity; and wifh'd he
had defended his Poft with greater Bravery, or render'd
it with more Ignominy: For having been deluded by
Ariovistus, he thought the Weakneſs of his Defence
would glance upon his own Reputation, and that the
World would tax him of Levity, or Simplicity, for em-
bracing Latitudinarianiſm upon fo weak Grounds. One
would fwear, faid he in a Paffion, thefe Men by their
Talk had engrofs'd all the Wit of the Nation, as well
as
336 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
as the Vices; yet bring them to the Touchftone, and
you'll find nothing but Drofs; they argue as ill as they
believe, and are as great Strangers to Reafon, as to Virtue;
they diſpute no more methodically than they live, and
are as weak in Principle, as violent in Paffion. Eudoxus
was going on, when Dinner put an end to his Invective.
Arioviftus had not walk'd away his Refentment, he brought
it to Table, and even diſcover'd it by endeavouring to
conceal it He run up Pleaſantry to Affectation, and
made himſelf ridiculous not to appear in a Paffion: So
that the Lady told him with a Smile, He was merry out of
Vexation; but Arioviftus let the Compliment fall, think-
ing it the beſt way to connive at a petty Affront he durſt
not revenge, and fo they enter'd upon a Converfation of
indifferent Subjects.
DIALOGUE
XII.
Arioviftus is forc'd to confefs, that one only Religion
is faving.
T HE Lady invited the Company into the Garden af-
ter Dinner: She was impatient to fee the Iflue of
the Difpute, which the hop'd would prove diſadvantage-
ous to Ariovistus: Nay, the Morning Succefs had not
only allay'd her Fears, but even given her an Affurance,
that Truth would triumph over Falfity, and Religion
over Impiety; befides, fhe flatter'd herſelf, her Son would
profit by Ariovistus's Misfortune, and defert thofe Tenets
his Maſter was not able to defend; for he was diſſatisfied
with the Morning's Performance, and the Abilities of
Arioviftus came not up to his Expectation: He faw him
always upon the Retreat, and that he rather fhuffled than
argued; he ſcarce durft look an Argument in the Face,
and though he fometimes fenc'd off Blows, he never gave
any: In fine, he turn'd fhort upon himſelf, and generally
confuted one Reply by the Contrariety of the other; fo
that Eudoxus fufpected the Caufe of Arioviftus was no
better than the Defence of it, and that he pleaded it,
becauſe it was deftitute of Reaſon.
Afte
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 337
After a Turn or two in the Garden, the Lady lea-
ding the Company into an Arbor, methinks, ſaid fhe
to Ariovistus, this Place was made for Converfation;
we have both Time and Convenience to give a ſe-
cond Hearing: You are I am fure a Gentleman of your
Word.
Ariov, Madam, I defire nothing more: Let us then,
continu'd he, turning himſelf to Eufebius, begin where we
broke off this Morning: Be pleas'd, Sir, to remember, I
caft before you a Scheme of thofe Religions that are
A-la-mode among our young Town-Sparks. Some are fo
amazingly irreligious, as to turn Religion into a Trick of
State; they fay it's a Slave to Government, and cannot
oblige till it paffes into Law, but then it's binding, tho
never fo execrable.
*
Others retrench from this Command, thofe Religions
that welter in Blood, and flame with Proftitution; fuch
Religions, they fay, are fram'd for Cyclops, and calcu-
lated for Sodom and Gomorrha: A Man muſt turn a Ly-
on, or Baboon, to practiſe the Duties of fuch Churches,
and a Devil to command 'em; wherefore they ftigma-
tize the Believers of ſuch ſcandalous Tenets, and throw
both the Credenda and Agenda out of the Pale of God's
Permiffion: But then, a few excepted, all others, they
fay, are allow'd of; a good Intention rectifies their Er-
rors, and even compounds for Idolatry its felf; it per-
fuades God to wink at Impiety, and to take Affront for
Veneration. This is, no doubt, to treſpaſs upon his
Goodneſs, to make bold with his Greatnefs, and to treat
his Majeſty with Scorn and Contempt.
The Company fmil'd, and admir'd no lefs the Gentle-
man's Confidence, than the Contrivance; by this little
Artifice, he very handfomely heav'd the Shame of the De-
feat from himſelf to thofe young Sparks, whofe Perfua-
fion he pretended to defend: But the Impofture lay too
open to trepan the Company, for he difputed not as Se-
cond, but as Principal; and pleaded his own Caufe, not
others: But thoſe Men are above the Niceties of Honour,
or Punctilio's of Confcience.
Eufebius knew not well how to model his Countenance,
he was both tempted to laugh, and to frown; for the
Turn was witty, tho' impudent. At laft, Sir, faid he to
Ariovistus, I thought you had undertaken the Defence of
Zi
your
338
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
I
your own Religion, not of John an Oakes; I love not to
encounter Reprefentatives, nor to engage with Corporations
by Proxy. However, I am glad you have chang'd Sides,
and left the Poft of an Advocate for that of an Accufer;
we have at laft made fome Progrefs: For now it's agreed
on, that in fpight of Mr. Hobbs and his Profelytes, the
Laws of Common-wealth muft not be the Standard of
our Faith; that God permits not, much less commands
us, to convene with thofe Congregations in Religion,
that countenance Impieties; in fine, that Idolatry in-
vades God's Right, ftrikes at his Prerogative, and draws
upon his very Perfon: So that in Conclufion, thofe Reli-
gions that are permitted take up but little room, and may
be caft up without the help of Arithmetick: Now, Sir,
favour us with a Draught of your Tenets.
y's
Arin. With all my Heart, I neither bluſh to acknow-
ledge my Religion, nor fear to defend it: It's upright in
its Principles, and reaſonable in the Application: It's fit-
ted for all Capacities: The Peafant comprehends it, and
the Philofopher admires it: In a word, my Religion is,
what Men call Natural: It's of the fame Date with our
Nature, and came into the World with Adam: God
printed every Article of it in our Hearts, before the In-
vention of the Prefs, and it's propagated by Generation :
We carry our Goſpel and Prophecies within us, which can
neither be corrupted by Malice, Ignorance, or Inadver-
tency. Our Creed is plain, and our Decalogue fhort, but
comprehenfive. We believe a God, Maker of Heaven and
Earth; a God that punishes Vice, and rewards Virtue ; be
requires no Sacrifice but of our Hearts, no Refpect, but Awe
of his Grandeur, and Obedience to his Commands; nor does
his Law put any Precept upon us but this, Do as you
would be done by.
This Religion is univerfal; it's neither confin'd to
Time, nor Place; it takes in all Ages, and runs thro' all
Climates; it obliges the moſt occult Nations of the
World, together with the moft polite; and becauſe all
know its Precepts, no Man is exempted from their Obe
dience: Yet it permits thofe Rites and Ceremonies, tho'
vain and fuperftitious, which claſh not with the above-
mention'd Tenets: But the very Moment a Religion
coins an Article, oppofite to the Belief of a God, or con-
trary to the Attributes of his Sanctity, Wiſdom, and Ju-
ftice,
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 339
ftice, or Mercy, when it refufes to this all-powerful Be-
ing an Acknowledgment of Dependence, and withal re-
verfes this great Law of Nature, Quod tibi non vis fieri
alteri ne feceris; I fay, the Moment a Religion falls into
fuch bare-fac❜d Impieties, it becomes facrilegious and a-
bominable: And for this Reafon, I extend God's Permif-
fion to three only Religions, the Chriftian, Jewish, and
Mahometan; for theſe alone ſtand upon the Law of Na-
ture; they inftill most excellent Principles, and regulate
our Duty to God, and our Obligation to Men.
Eufeb. Do you ſpeak your own Thoughts? I put the
Queſtion for a Caution against Miftakes, for we have
play'd away the Morning at crofs Questions.
Ariov. It's my Opinion, and will ftand the moſt ſe-
vere Teft of Reafon; nothing material can poffibly be
brought againſt it.
Eufeb. For all that, I hope to banifh two of the three
Religions out of the Permiffion; nay, and force you to
confeſs, there are no more Religions than Gods. A Man,
you fay, may commence a Jew, when he has taken
Pet at Chriſtianity, and change Baptifm for Circumciſi-
on; and when he has taken a Surfeit of the Talmud, he
may piouſly ſtrike off to Meccha, and truck the Penta-
teuch for the Alcoran.
Ariov. He may.
Eufeb. With a fafe Confcience, therefore, in England
we may believe Chrift is the true Meffias, born of a Vir-
gin, true God, and true Man, who dy'd for our Sins,
and was butcher'd by our Malice; but when we have
given up our Names to a Rabbin, and are adopted into
one of the Tribes, we may change Language, and as
fafely proteft the Meffias is yet to come; that Chriſt is a
meer Man, nothing different from others, but that he was
more criminal; that he dy'd for his own Offences, not
for ours; that Juftice took him off, not Envy: We may
believe theſe Tenets, and fwear to the Truth of every
Tittle. The Chriftian engages God's Authority for the
Truth of his Creed, the Jew takes the fame Liberty; yet
one Side jars with the other. Here is a down-right Con-
tradiction, nor can all the Artifice of Logick, all the Power
of the Almighty reconcile both Sides. If the Chriftian be
in the right, the Jew is in the wrong; and if Truth ftands
for he Jew, it muſt of Neceffity abandon the Christian..
Z 2
ariov.
1
340
The GENTLEMAN Inftrutted.
Ariov. You have Reafon, but becauſe I know not
which Side Truth favours, I may join with either.
Eufeb. Suppofing your Pretenfions grounded, you can-
not take both Sides; for tho' you are ignorant with
which Party Truth fides, you are fure it can't stand for
both: So that tho' in your Hypothefis you may either be
Jew or Chriftian, you can't be both fucceffively: If you
fwear to the Chriſtian Symbol to day, and to the Jewiſh
to morrow, you are perjur'd beyond all peradventure;
for you know the Tenets of thefe two Churches don't
nick like Tallies.
But this is not all, continu'd Eufebius, if God permits
me to take up with the Brethren of the Circumcifion,
he permits me to refuſe Worſhip to Jefus Chrift; nay, to
blafpheme him: If I may turn off to the Chriftians, he
permits me to adore him. Now either he is God, or he
is not: If the Second, I muſt not adore him, for tho'
God be Mafter of his Favours, he is not of his Honour;
he can't make this over to any Creature by a Deed of
Gift, or Conveyance; tho' he be eternal, like a Minor,
he can't alienate the Title: But again, if Chriſt be God,
certainly he requires Adoration as an indifpenfable Duty,
and if we fail to diſcharge our felves of the Obligation,
God will not fail to puniſh our Neglect.
Moreover, God can't, you fay, permit thofe Offences
that Nature condemns; his Prerogative-Royal reaches
not fo far: Now what can intrench more upon Nature,
than to inveſt a Creature with the Title to a Worſhip
which God alone can claim a Right to? Than to with-
draw my Allegiance from the Creator of all Things, and
bow to my Fellow-Creature? Yet God permits Chrifti-
anity on the one Side, and on the other it's flat Idolatry
to adore Chrift if he be only Man; therefore if Chrift be
only Man, God permits Idolatry, id eft, a Sin of the
higheſt Malice againſt the very firft Principle of Nature:
It's then as evident that one of thefe Religions is forbid,
as that one is meer Practice and Impofture; and it's as
manifeft, that one is Practice and Impoſture, as that both
Members of a Contradiction can't poffibly be true.
Ariov. Were I fure that Chrift was God, I fhould lie
under an indifpenfable Obligation of adoring him; I
muſt then adhere to Chriftianity, and if Occafion re-
quir'd, fign my Faith with my Blood: And were I fure
he
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
34I
he was Man alone, I ought to wheel off from the Church
to a Synagogue, and exchange the Gospel for the Talmud:
But I am in the dark, I rove in Obfcurity, and cannot
determine for which Religion Truth ftands: In this Un-
certainty God permits me to clap in with either; my
Ignorance juftifies his Permiffion, and my Choice; and
though by refuſing to adore Chrift, I may not do him
Right, Ignorance hinders me from doing him Wrong
Thus tho' the Jews deprive him of his due, if he be
God, and the Chriftians give more than his due, if he be
not; yet their Sin can be only material, that is, without
Malice, and confequently without Offence; feeing nei-
ther Religion is impious in its Worſhip, and both excel-
lent in their Precepts of Morality, it's clear we may fol-
low either.
Eufeb. Never did Men talk more of Religion than we,
and never had Men lefs. To level Judaifm with Chri-
ſtianity, even in a Chriſtian, nay, a reform'd Kingdom, is
one of the moſt monstrous Attempts that ever I heard of:
The very Thought of fo bold a Blafphemy almoſt caſts
me into an Agony, and makes me fweat with Diſguſt:
This is to raiſe a Crofs for our bleffed Redeemer in Chri-
ftendom, as the Jews did in Jerufalem, to play upon his
Goodneſs, to reviie his Greatnefs, and to falute him with
a Crucifige: But what will not Men do to fupport a dying
Cauſe, who have nothing left, but Will and Forehead?
Your Religion, Sir, is not calculated up for 1700, but
for 1642, or thereabouts, when the Ten Commandments
were only authentick during Pleaſure, when the four E-
vangelifts were upon their Behaviour, with a quamdiu fe
bene gefferint, and a nemine contradicente, not the Bible,
govern'd the Pulpit: In fine, your very Defence of Reli-
gion ſtrikes at Religion, and whilft you approve either,
you fairly condemn both; for you pretend both the Jew-
ifh and Chriftian Religion are permitted, becauſe you
doubt of both, and know not on which fide Truth
ftands: Now fuppofing you are in fuch Circumftances,
it's evident you can't in Confcience embrace either;
for which Side foever you take, you fear you are in the
wrong: Now whofoever fquares his Actions by a dubi-
ous Dictamen of Confcience, is certainly guilty of a for-
mal Sin, tho' otherwife the Objects are not only lawful,
but laudable. This is an unquestionable Principle in
Morals,
Z3
342
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Morals, and can only be deny'd by thoſe who make no
Difference between Good and Evil. If therefore you a-
dore Chrift with the Chriftian, and at the fame time
doubt of his Divinity, you offend God in the very Act of
Worſhip: You are a kind of a Pagan, tho' no Idolater.
On the other Side, if you blafpheme him with the Jew,
if you ftrip him of his Divine Nature, if you herd him
with the accurfed Crew of Hypocrites, and Impoftors,
and at the fame time fufpect he is more than a Man, tho'
the doubt may perchance diminish the Sin, it cannot
poffibly excufe it.
Ariov. This is pretty. Muft I then like old Erafmus
dangle in the Air between both Churches? Or if I doubt
of all Religions, muft I profeſs none? Certainly, Sir, you
miſtake your Errand: Whilft you pull down Latitudina-
rianifm, you very fairly fet up Atheiſm; and left all
Religions fhould be faving, you difallow of all. I would
fet out at fordan, and take my Progrefs from one Reli-
gion to another, I would let any Man write upon me
Turk, Jew, Anabaptist, Presbyterian, Independent, or
what Perfuafion you pleaſe rather than an Atheist. In fine,
it's more orthodox to profeſs any Religion than none.
Eufeb. Under Favour, I would no more perfuade you
to condemn all Religions than to approve all. I know
there is a true Religion, and I am fure there is but one.
Nay, I am confident, that the Chriftian Religion carries
fo many yifible Marks of divine Revelation about it, that
a Man who will bring Things to a fober Examen, muft
confeſs it came from Heaven, and that he who turns
Chriſtianity into a Fable, or the Doctrine of the Bible in-
to Illufion, deferves either to be begg'd for a Fool, or to
be ftigmatiz'd for a Blafphemer. But if you waver with
Doubts, and fluctuate between the Synagogue and the
Church, without being able certainly to determine in
which Truth is preach'd, in which Impofture; rouze up
your Reaſon, bring both to the Bar, hear their Pretenfi-
ons, examine the Motives of Credibility, and, in fine, ſum
up the Evidence, and if you do this impartially, you'll
foon either be a Madman, or a Chriftian.
Ariov. But if after I have heard the Witneffes, and
weigh'd the Evidence on both Sides with Deliberation,
Maturity, and Impartiality; if, I fay, after thefe cere-
monial Preliminaries, I remain ambiguous, muft I nei-
ther convene with the Jew, nor the Chriftian? Eufeb
32
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
343
م
Eufeb. With neither, if this ſtrange Cafe fhould hap-
pen: I fay, fhould happen, for in Reality it cannot; the
Motives of Chriftianity are fo many, and fo convincing,
that unless we fhut our Eyes, and hood-wink Reafon,
they'll force us to acknowledge, that if it be not evidently
true, it's at leaft evidently credible; and when once you
are come up to this Certainty, then you are oblig'd to de-
clare for Chriſtianity, to believe its Tenets, and practife
its Morals.
、
Ariov. Tho' Chriftianity compar'd with Judaifm may
feem credible, perchance it may feem incredible, if com-
par'd with fome other Religion, that has never appear'd
on our Horizon: For as there are Terra Incognita, un-
known Regions, fo there are undifcover'd Religions.
Muft I therefore take my leave of Old England, trudge
to Sea, and encompass the World with Sir Francis
Drake, before I pitch upon a Religion? Or muft. I at
leaſt rig out a Veffel of Intelligence, and then work up-
on thoſe Materials the Captain or Mate brings home?
This is a Work both tedious and expenfive; nay, I may
add, endleſs and foolifh; and he that can perfuade him-
felf God requires fuch a puzling and fo impoffible a Scru-
tiny, muſt confefs the wife Maker of all Things intended
rather to be laugh'd at by Men, than worship'd.
Eufeb. Keep at home, God neither commands you
to fhip for Africa, or America, nor to run in Queft after
the Fables of the Brachmans, or the Superftitions of the
Bonzies. A Religion that is evidently credible in Eng-
land, is ſo all the World over, with what Sect foever you
compare it: For neither God's Goodnefs, nor Wifdom
can permit, a falfe Religion to be equally credible
with the true one; much lefs can he permit it to be
more credible, and leaſt of all, to be evidently credible:
If therefore after a fober Examen, you find fuch an Ap-
pearance of Truth in the Chriftian Religion, that you
cannot doubt of it without Imprudence and Rafhneſs,
you may conclude without comparing it with any other,
that you are oblig'd to adhere to it, as reveal'd by God;
and if you refuſe to believe his fupream Veracity, (when
you cannot without a high Imprudence doubt, but he
ſpeaks, you muſt expect to pay for the Contempt, by
groaning eternally under the Weight of his Indignation.
Z 4
Daſh
1
344
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Daſh therefore out of the Patent one of theſe two Re-
ligions, and I counfel you, out of Refpect to the Bap-
tiſm you have receiv'd, and the Kingdom you live in,
rather to give up Judaiſm than Chriſtianity; and after
all, Sir, Circumcifion is painful, and our English Con-
ftitutions will not bear the Operation.
Ariov. Take your Courfe, we have been upon Duty
a great while, and I am willing to come to an Agree-
ment upon any Terms.
Eufeb. To an End, you mean, of the Diſpute; for we
can no more agree than Light and Darkneſs, than Truth
and Falfhood, than Libertinifm and Religion. The pre-
fent Queſtion is, whether a Man may in Confcience con-
form to the Alcoran in Conftantinople, and to the Gof-
pel in Christendom. Pray what Opinion have you of
the Alcoran? Was it compil'd by divine Infpiration, or
Impoſture? By a Prophet, or a Cheat? By the Impulſe
of the Holy Ghoft, or the Suggeftion of Lewdness, and
Ambition?
Ariov. Every Tittle breathes Nonfenfe, Impiety, or
Blafphemy: It puts almoft the very Alphabet out of
Countenance, and infects the Paper it's writ on. A Man
muft commence Fool, before he can impofe upon his
Reaſon thoſe Forgeries for Revelations; and turn Beaft
to practiſe the Morals.
Eufeb, Enough: Why fo much Heat; fo much In-
vective againſt a Religion that comes within the Verge
of Permiffion? If tolerated, it deferves Refpect; if not,
why do you defend it? It's ridiculous to damn the Alco-
ran, and canonize the Doctrine; to cenfure Mahomet,
and approve Mahometifm.
But, pray, Sir, if the Alcoran favours Lewdneſs, and
lets loofe Senfuality; if it draws upon Modefty, and
tilts at Reafon; if it gorges with Impiety, and fmells of
Blafphemy; how can you put on the Turban, and herd
with the Musulman? For when you jump over the Pale
of Chriftianity, and give up your Name to the Cady, or
Mufty, you must take up for Truths thofe Fables you
now brand with Forgery and Impofture; you muſt
change the Key to another Tune, you muſt revere at
Conftantinople what you laugh at in London, and bow to
what you ridicule; you muſt fay and believe, Untruths
is the Language of Heaven, Blafphemy the Dictates of
the
1
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 345
the Holy Ghoft, Murders, Lewdnefs and Rapines, the
Commands of a meek, holy and juft Deity; for the
Turks take all the Alcoran for Revelation and Precept:
Now to fay God has reveal'd fome Things-that claſh with
Truth, others that check Reaſon, and others again that
overſhoot Extravagance; that he commands fome Things
that diſcountenance Virtue, and encourage Libertinifm,
is to ſtrike at all his Attributes, and to make at his very
Perfon; it's to frame a more vile Idea of his Divinity,
than the very Laplander; for theirs is only ridiculous,
whilft yours is facrilegious and execrable.
Ariov. Were I at Conftantinople, I would ſpeak like
the Mufty, and do like a Muffulman, but then in my
Cloſet I would laugh at their Folly, and pity their Blind-
nefs; though my Tongue conform'd to the eſtabliſh'd
Religion, my Heart fhould be a Recufant: This fhould
adore God in Spirit and Truth, tho' my Tongue and
outward Man worship'd him with Blafphemies, and
ferv'd him in Senfuality: All exterior Actions are to be
rated by the interior, this is their proper Standard; if
the Intention be Sterling, they cannot poffibly be Coun-
terfeit.
Eufeb. Ho! We are juft where we fet out: Now all
Religions are permitted again.
Ariov. Why fo?
Eufeb. If the Intention can fanctify Hypocrify, and the
moft outragious Blafphemies, why may it not conveigh
Piety into Murders; and Holinefs into the impure Sab-
boths of Venus and Priapus? Why can't it blanch over
the Horrour of the Mexicans human Sacrifices; or the
Cruelty of the Punick burning Statues of Saturn? You
may, you ſay, at Conftantinople, expofe Chriftianity to
the Scorn and Petulancy of Infidels, give up the Bible
to Turks and Barbarians, impeach Chriftians of Apo-
ftacy, and make Impudence and Infpiration fpeak the
fame Language: If a good Intention can juftify at Con-
ftantinople fucha Catalogue of black Impieties, why may
it not authorize lefs Crimes in other places? Return bold-
ly to your firft Thefis; exclude no Religion out of the Act
of Indulgence; place Virtue and Vice on the fame Le-
yel; pull down the Boundaries between Good and Evil;
take off the Reſtraint of Confcience, and blned Men and
Beafts into one Species. Come, Sir, pluck up a good
Heart;
:
346
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Heart; caft the Die, and paſs the Rubicon of Honour and
Confcience, our Difpute will otherwife be at an end; for
we have caft out the Talmud as Apocryphal; you have
difcarded the Alcoran; fo that the Gofpel only ſtands
untouch'd, and God's Permiffion is confin'd to Chriftia-
nity alone.
Arioviftus found himfelf in the Toyl, and knew not
which way to unhamper himfelf; his Concern flew to
his Face, and every Pofture betray'd an extreme Paffion;
he feem'd to brood fome deſperate Refolution, and only
wanted Boldneſs to execute it: After a fhort Strife be-
tween Shame and Revenge; I perceive, faid he, to Eu-
febius, you take Advantage of my Condefcenfion, and
even turn my Civility againſt me; you manage a Fa-
vour fo ungenteelly, that I ſhall ſtand off in Caution and
Refervednefs for the future. *
Eufeb. Explain your Meaning. I fuppofe in Difputes,
Reafon must take place of Ceremony, and that a Man
may prefs an Argument home without trefpaffing upon.
good Breeding; to be plain, I am more beholden to
my Arguments, than to your Liberality; you have con-
defcended to me, as Boufflers did to K. William, when
he could hold out no longer. In a Word, I have not
courted, but ſtorm'd you into thofe Conceffions you
blush at.
Ariov. Hold there; I laid the Alcoran at your Mercy
without Neceffity, and attack'd it of Impoſture, Fallacy,
and Blafphemy, out of an Exceſs of good Nature and
Complaifance.
Eufeb. Out of good Nature and Complaifance?
Ariov. Yes, for, among Friends, it carries an Air of
Truth, and the unlimited Extent of that Perfuafion
pleads home for the Divinity of its Author.
Eufeb. Ho! ho! we have Turks in England: I thought
the Ottoman Religion reach'd no further than the Otto-
man Sword; but I perceive it has fwum over into our
Ifland. Pray, continu'd he, with a Smile, what is your
Turkish Appellation? Solyman or Achmet? But Raillery
apart; had I been upon the pinch, I would have dropt
the Turk, and kept the Chriftian: For a Chriftian Turk
is a frank Atheiſt once remov'd, and tho' he makes Profef-
fion of a God, and of a Religion, moft Men conclude he
believes neither. Indeed by this unexpected Declaration,
you
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
347
you have difappointed me; I intended to prove, that
one only Religion was faving, and that all others were
caft out of the Act for Toleration: But you have made
clever Work of it, and diſcarded all Religions, nay, and
I fancy, Salvation too.
Ariov. With Perraffion, Sir, tho' I approve the Alco-
ran, I may reverence the Gospel: And though I unlock
Heaven-Gate to Mujulmans, why must I fhat it upon
Chriftians?
Eufeb. Why? One runs quite counter to the other,
even in the moft effential Points, both of Belief and Pra-
Etice. Chriftian Religion tells us, Chrift is God, the
Mahometan, that he is not; that commands us to adore
him, this forbids us. Now, Sir, if Truth favours the
Turks, Chrift is a meer Creature, and by confequence
all Chriſtians are downright Idolaters: If therefore God
will be adored as a Being Eternal, infinitely Wife, and
infinitely Holy, it's evident, you (who difcover Truth on
every Tittle of the Alcoran) cannot with a fafe Confci-
ence profefs Chriftianity; for that great Oracle tells us,
Chriſt is a Creature, and therefore, fo foon as you com-
mence Chriftian, you pay divine Honour to a Man,
known, and acknowledg'd fuch: Now to adore God, as
a Man, is not to worſhip him as a Being Eternal, infi-
nitely Wife, and infinitely Holy; and to adore a Man,
as God, is to ſtrip the Almighty of all his Prerogatives,
to rifle the Sanctuary, and to lay the confecrated Trea-
fures at the Feet of a Creature: Here is flat Idolatry on
the one Hand, and a Monſter compos'd of Idolatry and
Sacrilege on the other. So that to fum up the Evidence,
if Turcifm be a true and allow'd Religion, Chriſtianity
is not; and fo my Thefis is prov'd, that one Religion
alone is faving: Which glorious Quality, to the Shame
of Latitudinarianifm, and the Scandal of Reafon, you
clap on Mahometifm.
The Lady over-joy'd at the Defeat of Ariovistus was
not Miſtreſs of her Tranfport: Thefe Gentlemen, faid
ſhe, are for enſuring Cauſes, and never ſpeak under De-
monftration: Then turning to him, Sir, continu'd fhe,
I pity your Malice, but I am glad of your Overthrow;
you have been more at Variance with your felf, than
with your Adverfary, and ſeldom recall'd'one Abfurdity,
without advancing a greater; but at length, in Defiance
of
548
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
of Senſe and Reaſon, you have out-fhot Extravagance
it felf, and feal'd a Million of Impertinences with a da-
ring Blafphemy: For you have rais'd up Mahometifm
upon the Ruins of Chriftianity, and funk our bleffed Ša-
viour into an Impoftor, to fwell Mahomet into a Pro-
phet. I counſel you to fhip for Afia in our Smyrna Fleet,
for our English Climate is mortal to a Turkish Confti-
tution; thefe Animals can no more live here, than
Toads or Spiders in Ireland: Our English Charity em-
braces all Men, befides Papifts and Musulmans: Thofe
have too much Religion for a reform'd Nation, and
thefe too little.
This Piquant Irony gall'd Ariovistus to the quick;
Patience abandon'd him, and Paffion ran away with his
Judgment: So that at length he broke thro' all the Bounds
even of Refpect and Reafon. Madam, faid he, I per-
ceive you are furpriz'd at my Doctrine; out of Reſpect
to your Ladyship, I freely condemn the Alcoran as Pra-
ctice and Impofture; but then, give me leave to put
the Goſpel in the Indice alfo; They were both hammer'd
on the fame Anvil; this to hag Men with Fears, the
other to divert 'em with pleafing Profpects of ſenſual
Elyfiums: We have been Hob-goblin'd too long into Reli-
gion; but, God be thank'd, the Vizard is torn off, and
the Cheat is unmafk'd, and now we dare play with thoſe
Monſters we once tremble at: We enter upon the Stage
of this World like Beafts, and make as inglorious an
Exit; our Lives and Souls fmoak into Nothing: We
were flung upon Earth, as the Leviathan was in the Deep
to play; feeing therefore our Days are few, it's Prudence
to live apace; Good and Evil are words ad placitum, in-
vented by fome to impofe on others.
He was going on when Eufebius put a stop to his
Impudence. I fufpected, fays he, you acted hitherto in
Maſquerade; I am glad the Vizard is fallen off, and
that the Monſter appears in its own Shape: Men of your
Principles ſhould be coop'd up in Peft-Houfes, their ve-
ry Breath fhoots Contagion, and their Converſation is
mortal. Your Atheiſtical Club has made Religion cheap,
and Morality fhameful: It has preach'd a confiderable
Part of the Nation out of Sobriety, and Principles too:
It teaches young Gentlemen to fwear and blafpheme,
before they know rhe Malice of the Sins; and then
when
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
349
when Age opens their Eyes, they rather part with their
Innocence, than Prophaneneſs. Thus you efpouſe 'em to
Wickedness, before they are able to commit it: But the
Mifery is, that thoſe who curfe God in their Youth, in
good time will defy him; and others who tranfgrefs the
Decalogue at ten, will laugh at it before twenty. Bold-
neſs grows upon us with Age, and all the Terrors of
Confcience declines; they faint under the Weight of rei-
terated Crimes, and lofe their Emphafis; and then when
once we have got out of the reach of this importunate
Cenfor, we ſhall ſwallow down your accurfed Principles,
not only without Reluctance, but even with Pleafure:
We fhall not only countenance Atheiſm, but profeſs it;
and eafily perfuade pur felves we die like Beafts, to live
like 'em.
I know you are no more able to defend your Morals,
than your Faith, and I would rather deteft, than con-
fute 'em, were I not acquainted with the Latitudinariari
Impudence: You vent fuch hideous Tenets, that they
amaze Chriftians, and rather raife their Indignation, than
call for a Confutation; like Puddles, they cannot be ſtirr'd
without Infection, and like Plague Sores, they endanger
the Surgeon.---Now becaufe good Men fometimes think
it more expedient to confute thofe Impieties with Silence,
than Arguments, Libertines prefently raiſe a Trophy,
they fing Paana, and cry out Victory. To cut off this
Retreat, I'll fhew you in fhort, that Virtue and Vice lie
not barely in Opinion.
And here I appeal to the Verdict of Mankind: Single
me out one Man, whofe Reputation did not fuffer under
the very Sufpicion of Vice; and if the bare Sufpicion of
Evil, has fuch a degrading Quality in the Opinions of
Men, Debauchery it felf muft have a greater: Human
Nature has fuch an Abhorrence of Sin, that it cannot
value the Wicked equally to the Virtuous. I never yet
heard of a Man, who ferioufly commended another for
his Intemperance, or plac'd Lewdneſs among his Titles
of Honour: Tho' Sobriety, Chaſtity, and Juftice are run
down in Practice, they ftand fair in our Efteem, and no
Man yet has attempted to difgrace an Enemy, by laying
thofe Virtues to his Charge: In fine, it's impoffible for
a Man in his Wits to eſteem another lefs, becauſe he is
good; nay, in this degenerate Age, nothing blafts more a
rifing
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
350
f
rifing Reputation, than the Imputation of Wickedness;
and even thofe, who in a frantick Tranfport applaud a
Debauchee, upon cooler Thoughts defpife him: If all
Actions are equal, why are their Effects fo different? If
Virtue has no Advantage over Vice, why do the Profi-
gates efteem that, tho' they embrace this? Why do Meri
practife Virtue with Confidence, and Vice with a blufh-
ing Face, and a trembling Confcience? Why do they
fin with Fear in their Looks, and an Earthquake in
their Minds? Thefe are terrible Symptoms, that the
Difference between Good and Evil lies deeper than the
Imagination.
Come, Sir, remember when you feel the Smart of
everlafting Flames, you'll take fmall Pleaſure in the
Thought that once you derided 'n; you'll not fuffer
lefs in that dark Region, becaufe you go laughing thither;
nor endure the Torments better, becauſe you would not
believe 'em.
Arioviftus was of too haughty an Humour to bear fo
fevere a Check with Patience, and too violent to dif-
femble his Refentment; wherefore turning to Eufebius,
Sir, faid he, you rail better than you reaſon: Our
Tongues began to difpute, our Swords muft endit; you
have left my Tenets, to attack my Perfon, and rather
level at my Actions, than at my Religion: You are à
Man of Honour, and can manage a Weapon, as well as
an Argument; in a word, I expect Satisfaction.
The Company began to fmile at this odd Rhodomon-
tade, but Eudoxus told him in controvertiſtical Debates,
there was no Appeal from Reafon to the Sword; that it
was more prudent to confeſs Errors, than to defend 'em;
to cancel paft Crimes, than to commit new ones.
But Eufebius, who refolv'd to diſcountenance Latitudi-
narianifm, by confounding its Abettor, took him up
roundly. Sir, faid he, I fear your Gafconades no more
than your Arguments, nor your Sword more than your
Reafon; your Conduct is as ftrange as your Religion;
becauſe I have wounded your Principles, you invite me
to tilt at your Body: No, no, Sir, I value my Life too
much to expoſe it for a Punctilio, and your Soul, to
fend it into the other World with a Rapier: I had rather
fwing off Tyburn into Eternity, than to be duel'd into it;
for a Duel is a very ill Distemper to dye of.
Befides,
1
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
351
- Befides, fhould I accept your Challenge, perchance you
might diſappoint me: I have known fome huffing Bul-
lies, who never were couragious, but when they ſtood
out of the Sword's reach: They would fend you a
hundred Defies for a Word, but had too much Honour to
juſtify one; nay, they would upon fecond Thoughts ſub-
mit to a Baftinade, rather than occafion Bloodshed; and
if once their Adverfary drew Blood, like Wizards, they
had no Power to hurt him; in fine, they would always
begin the War, and conftantly made the firſt Overtures of
Peace, and thus they fhew'd at once both Courage and
Difcretion; whether this Character fits you, I dare not
determine: This notwithstanding I muft affirm, that thofe
who pretend to believe leaſt the Terrors of another
World, apprehend them moft; and no Men fear more eter-
nal Torments, than thoſe who deny the Soul's Immor-
tality: Lay by your Sword for a more urgent Occafion,
Fencing will never relieve a Controverfy abandon'd by
Reaſon; a fatisfactory Return to my Arguments will
ſupport you much better than a Puſh; for tho' you chance
to foil me at tilting, you will not difarm my Reaſons.
Ariovistus was too proud to fubmit to Truth, tho' he
was too weak to withſtand it; he could not defend his
Errors, and would not abandon 'em ; ſo that in a Huff
he call'd for his Horfe, rub'd off, and left the Field to
Eufebius.
His Friend apologiz'd for his Rudeness, and caft his In-
civility on the Exceſs of Paffion. I hope, faid he to the
Company, you will excufe Ariovistus. I confefs he is to
blame, but oftentimes Anger runs away with the Judg-
ment; the wifeſt Men are fubject to Indifcretions: He
was baffled, and you know a Defeat to a Man of Honour
is a mortifying Misfortune; in fine, having loft his Cauſe,
you must not wonder if Patience deferted him.
Eufeb. I excufe his Incivility, but condemn his Pru-
dence; he faw his Error, why did he not abjure it? He
faw Truth, why did he not embrace it? A Man that
will pawn his Soul to reſcue his Honour, forfeits both:
But I confefs, in vain we expect Prudence of Libertines
Men without Religion are always without Reafon; they
may boaft of Science and Wit till Dooms-day, but no
Body can believe they are over-ſtock'd with either: No,
no; they have only juft Knowledge enough to fee their
;
Errors,
352
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Errors, and Wit enough to enfure their Damnation Dn
when once they are drench'd in loofe Principles, they are
paft Recovery; they turn all Antidotes into Ratsbane,
and fo either live in Obftinacy, or die in Deſpair.
Then taking Eudoxus afide: Are you not, continu'd
he, almoft fick of Latitudinarianifm? You faw how weak-
ly Ariovistus defended it, yet he was not ill provided of
thofe Materials, that are neceffary to plead well a bad
Caufe; he manag'd his Arguments to the beſt Advantage,
and edg'd his Reaſons with all the little Artifices of Lan-
guage and Confidence; but Truth has prevail'd over
Impoſture, and he carries home nothing but Chagrin and
Confufion. I hope Providence has referv'd the Profit of
his Defeat for you; he has condemn'd all Religions, and
Chriſtianity among the reft, and at the fame time turns
Atheiſt to live a Libertine.
Eudox. Nothing but Rage drove Arioviftus into that
Precipice, he was upon a Pinch, poor Gentleman, and
fhot Blafphemy when he had ſpent his Reafons; his Per-
formance falls fhort of my Expectation. I perceive that
Boafting is not an Argument of Wit, and that Confidence
and Truth are not always on the fame Side. Ariovistus
who caus'd my Infidelity, has now cur'd it; I owe my
Converfion to the Weakneſs of his Proofs, and to the
Strength of yours. Chriſtianity is certainly the only fa-
ving Religion, but I am hamper'd in a Labyrinth, and
unleſs you lend me a Hand fhall wander eternally in a
Meander of Miftakes: For Chriſtian Religion branches
out into a thouſand Sects, our Ifland is a kind of Pan-
theon, and our People like the old Arabians, bend to the
Breath of every pretended Inſpiration: Some pretend
Law, others Scripture; thefe Antiquity, thofe Novelty,
and others Illumination. It's hard to calculate up all the
Religions that divide the Nation, and almoft impoffible
to examine them. If I muſt chooſe none before I have
impartially furvey'd all, I may live a Seeker, and die an
Atheist. Are all thofe Communions faving; or is there
but one?
Eufeb. There is but one faving Congregation, and the
Diſcovery of it is eaſier than you imagine: In a few Days
I will put you in the Way to Heaven, which none can
mifs, but thofe who are refolv'd to overlook it: Intereſt
byaffes fome, Education others, Faction deludes many,
and
*
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
353
and Senfuality over-bears more: In fine, when Men con-
fult their Inclinations, and model Religion by the Advice
of Paffion, you muſt not wonder, if they take Fancy for
Revelation, and hug Illufion for Truth.
Eufebius ftaid a Week with Eudoxus, and fettled his
Judgment. Truth flafh'd fuch a Light on his Underftand-
ing, that he admir'd his former Blindnefs, and thought it
more difficult to miſtake the true Church, than he did be-
fore to find it; he learnt what he was to do, as well as
what he was to believe, and refolv'd to fquare his
Thoughts and Actions by the Rule of his Duty: He has
kept his Purpoſe, and at preſent has the Reputation of an
accompliſh'd Gentleman, and, what he values moft, of a
pious Chriftian. This Providence, which permitted Theo-
machus to fall from a State of Virtue, into a deplorable
Habit of Vice, rais'd young Eudoxus from the Abyſs of
Vice, to the Top of Virtue; to teach poor Mortals, that
the Sinner muft not defpair, nor the Saint prefume.
Eufebius having brought this great Bufinefs to a moſt
happy Conclufion, return'd to London, and gaye Notice
to Theomachus of his Arrival.
DIALOGUE XIII.
Having fettled Eudoxus, Eufebius meets Theomachus,
who offers to believe the Existence of a God upon good
Reaſons, though not Mathematically evident.
Eufebius
febius the next Morning gave Theomachus a Vifit.
He found him in the Company of fome Gentlemen of
his Cabal, whom the Noife of the Difpute had alarm'd;
they were concern'd that Eufebius had the Face to ftand
up in Defence of God, to plead fo warmly againſt Athe-
ifm, and that after the firft Camifcado he was return'd to
beat up their Quarters. Theomachus perfuaded himſelf,
that the Journey of Eufebius was a meer put-off, and that
he had really no Bufinefs in the Country, but to wave
the Conference at London, and fo fpread abroad his late
Engagement, you may be fure to his own Advantage :
He flatter'd himſelf, and others alfo, that the Difpute was
at an End, and being freed from his Enemy, he gave full
A a
Liberty
354
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
1
Liberty to his Tongue, and launch'd out into Panegyrický
of his vaft Performance, to the Prejudice of Truth and
Modefty: The News of Exfebius's Arrival damp'd his.
Hopes, and convinc'd him, he had rais'd a Trophy before
the Victory: He had no mind to engage, nor could he
retreat with Honour; but, in fine, he refolv'd upon the
Conference, as the lefs Evil, and invited his Friends to
the Skirmiſh: He receiv'd Eufebius with Demonftrations
of Civility, and was rather prodigal than ſparing of Ca- .
reffes: After many reciprocal Compliments, Eufebius
addreffed himſelf to Theomachus.
Eufeb. Sir, at our laft Meeting I charg'd Atheists with.
Imprudence, becauſe being uncertain whether there were
a God, a Hell, or a Heaven, they liv'd as if they were:
certain there were no fuch Things; you endeavour'd to
fence againſt the Charge, and to plead not guilty; be-
caufe, though you fhould take up, and model your Life
by the Rules of the moft fevere Morals, this ungrateful
Reſtraint would only ferve, perchance, to leffen your
Torments in the next Life, if there be a God, but would
never be able to fet you in Heaven: For God, faid you,
requires as an indifpenfible Homage, not only a well-regu-
lated Life, but a ſtable and undoubted Belief of his Be-
ing; the one is of fmall Advantage without the other;
you pretended this teddinefs was not in your Power,
and ask'd convincing Reafons to fettle and fix your Judg-
ment; I promis'd you Satisfaction, and am come to keep
my Word; but I fuppofe an Evidence below that of
Mathematical Demonftrations will fatisfy you.
Theom. The very Queſtion is reflecting, and you muſt
either fufpect my Wit or my Judgment to propofe it: I
know God is neither a Line, Superficies, nor Solid, he
comes not within the Predicament of a Figure, and there-
fore lies out of the reach of Mathematicks: A Man that
will acquiefce to nothing but strict Demonſtrations,
would do well to disband from Society, to lock up his
Reaſon in his Cloſet, and only carry it about him on
extraordinary Occafions; he may take up with the Scep-
ticks, and doubt of his own Being: No Man can de-
monſtrate by Euclid, or Archimedes, there is fuch a City
as Conftantinople, or that there has ever been fuch an Em-
peror as Auguftus; and yet, God be thank'd, upon the
credible Teftimony of thofe who have feen the one, and
of
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
355
of thoſe Authors who have writ of the other, I no more
doubt of them, than of this unquestionable Principle, pars
eft minor toto: Some things may poffibly be falfe, tho' I
dare pawn my Life they are not.
Eufeb. Your Difcourfe is reafonable: For were you and
I caft upon a defert Ifland by the ſtreſs of Wind and
Weather, and fhould we find in this abandon'd Region a
ftately Palace, built with all Symmetry of Art, we fhould
conclude, it was the Work of an Architect, not of Nature
or Chance; nor would it be in our Power to doubt of it;
yet 'tis poffible for blind Matter to rendezvous it felf into
a ſtately Louvre; for by a lucky Meeting of Atoms, it
may be jumbled and fettled in this beautiful and regular
Form. A hundred thoufand blind Men, (tho' they fet
out from all the Parts of the World) may poffibly meet
together upon Black-Heath, and draw up in Rank and
File; yet ſhould we fee this extraordinary great Army in
Battle-array, without the Help of Syllogifm, we ſhould
infer, they were led to the Place, and each conducted to
his Station by fome, who had better Eyes than they.
I conceive likewife you do not require Phyfical Demon-
ftrations, id eft, convincing Proofs drawn from Senfe;
for God being fuppos'd a Spirit, cannot fall under cor-
poral Senfe, and though he fhould prefent himſelf to the
Eyes by affuming a Body, the Spectacle might amaze us,
but could not give us any rational Affurance, that there
is an infinite Spirit.
Theom. I ask fuch Proofs as leave the Understanding
fatisfied, and fix the Judgment, and remove all prudent
Doubt; for fuch Arguments deferve as firm an Affent,
as the moſt ſtrict Mathematical Demonftrations. I am
as fure there is fuch a Place as Conftantinople, as that the
firſt Propofition of Euclid is true; and doubt no more,
but Cæfar was, than that I am.
Eufeb. "Tis eafy I fee to agree in Preliminaries, when
the one fide propofes nothing but what is juft, and the o-
ther will receive what is reaſonable: You have admit-
ted what neither in Prudence nor Reafon you could re-
ject, and I have only ask'd what I could not omit, without
betraying the Intereft of Truth, and the Merits of the
Caufe I have undertaken to defend. Now feeing the Sub-
ject is not capable of Mathematical Demonftrations, nor
even of Phyfical Evidence in the State we are, methinks,
A a z
I ap-
356 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
I apprehend two Ways by which God can manifeſt his
Being to Man: First, By an internal Impreffion ftamp'd
with his divine Signet in our Nature, which leads us na-
turally to the Knowledge of his Exiſtence, as the innate
Light of our Understanding fhews us the Truth of the
first Principles of Difcourfe.
Secondly, By vifible Effects, which Reafon tells us muft
be father'd on fome Caufe, and which without Conſtraint
and Violence, our Underſtanding cannot attribute to any
thing but a Being infinitely powerful, infinitely wife, and
infinitely good.
Theo. I agree, thefe two Ways would be fufficient to
fettle a reaſonable Man in the Belief of a Deity, and
that an Atheiſt would be the moſt abfurd, the moſt un-
reaſonable Creature in the World, if he requir'd more.
Eufeb. Well, Sir, hitherto we have walk'd Hand in
Hand, our Judgments have been uniform, and I hope
our good Intelligence will continue in the following Con-
ference. I will prove you have theſe very Proofs of his
Being, you confefs fufficient, and as plain as you could
in Reafon expect, fuppofing he were. Let us therefore
difcufs things in Order, and produce our Proofs in their
Turn; when we confound Arguments, we confound
Ideas, and only contemplate Truth through a Cloud.
!
DIALOGUE XIV.
The first Prouf for a Deity, drawn from the univerſal
Confent of Mankind.
Euſeb.TE
HE Notion of a God is fo deeply ingrafted
in our Minds, that it feems to be twifted and
interwoven with our Nature; it's of the fame Date with
our Species, it runs through our Veins with our Blood,
and is conveigh'd to us from our Anceftor's; it's neither
fix'd to Climate, nor Complexion, it takes in all Times,
as well as all Places: It's engraven in the Hearts of the
Africans, as well as of the Afiaticks; the barbarous To-
pinbays of Brafil feel the Impreffion, as well as the moſt
polite Europeans; and the very brutifh Hotentots of the
Cape, in fpight of Savagenefs, fhew they are Men meerly
by
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
357
by acknowledging a fupream Being; the old Affyrians
have left Pofterity a convincing Teftimony they believ'd
a God, becauſe they coin'd falfe ones; they had never
multiply'd Divinities, had they beliey'd there was none,
nor paid divine Worfhip to Statues, had they not been
perfuaded there was fome Being above them, that com-
manded Homage, becauſe he deferv'd it.
The Medes brought down the Affyrian Grandeur, and
bury'd the Empire, together with its Emperour, in a
Grave of Afhes; yet thefe new Conquerours, who an-
null'd the old Laws, and enacted new ones, who thruſt
out antient Cuſtoms to make room for others, quarrell'd
not with the Affyrians about the Belief of a God, they
liv'd in the fame Perfuafion; Nebuchodonozor would
needs ſhare Worship with his Maker, and fo fet up his
own Statue to receive thoſe Honours which belong'd to
the fupream Being.
The Perfians, Succeffors of the Median Greatneſs, fuc-
ceeded alfo in their Belief of a Deity: The conquering
Macedonians agreed in this Point with the vanquifh'd In-
dians; and Rome furpafs'd all other Nations in Superſti-
tion, more than Courage; fhe built her Greatnefs upon
the Suppofition of a Deity, and as fome remark, grew
fo great, becauſe fhe was fo pious: She found the Stamp
of a Divinity, wherever fhe carried her victorious Arms,
and the Conqueft of foreign Gods, as well as of captive
Princes, fet off her General's Triumphs. In a Word,
the Belief of a Deity reach'd as far as the Plantations of
Men; it has never yet been fhut out of one City, one
Bourg, or perchance one Family: The moft barbarous
Wretches that ever where, knew there was a Deity, tho'
they miſtook in the Application of their Worſhip. You
may almoſt as ſoon find a People without Souls, as with-
out a God, that they rather will dedicate an Altar to an
unknown Deity, than have none.
The English, Dutch, Portugueſe, and Spaniards, bra-
ving the Fury of the Winds, and the threatning Surges
of the enrag'd Ocean, have diſcovered a new World in
our Days, almoft equal to the Old, they have rifled the
very Wilderneffes, and ranfack'd the Mines; wherever
they met with the Traces of Men, they fell upon the
Footsteps of a God; thefe Barbarians that liv'd without
Laws, without Houfes, without Commerce, were fel-
A a 3
dom
358
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
dom found without Temples; and though a favage Edu-
cation, and more favage Vices had obfcur'd the Notion,
they had not the Power to deface it; 'twas legible in the
very Night of Idolatry, in the Obfcurity of Errors, and
fome Nations thought 'twas lefs Abfurdity to worship the
Devil, than to deny a God. Now if you call for Proofs,
I can present you a thoufand, as ftrong and fatisfactory
as the Subject will bear: Paft Matters of Fact can only
be convey'd down to us by written, or oral Tradition
and thofe of our own Time, that lie at a Diftance, can
only be prov'd by credible Witneffes; what I maintain
has all theſe Supports, and by confequence can be que-
ſtion'd only by thofe, who will be fure of nothing but
that they doubt of all Things.
✔
99
Theo. Whether this be true or falfe, your Cauſe will
not be much the better, nor mine worfe; yet I muſt tell
you, you are miſtaken in your Account: I have read in
Acofta, and others, that divers People, both in the Ea
and West-Indies, live as well without a God, as without
Houſes; they love nothing but their Eafe, and fear no-
thing but their bordering Enemies: Befides, our European
Atheiſts muſter'd up in one Body, would make a confide-
rable Figure; and London alone, upon an emergent Oc-
cafion, can draw out a brisk Brigade: I am confident, at
leaft, we exceed you in Quality, if you furpafs us in Num-
ber, and why may not the one balance the other?
Eufeb. Oh! I may cry out, with Seneca, Mentiuntur
qui dicunt fe non fentire Deum, nam etfi tibi affirment in-
terdiu, noctu tamen & foli dubitant; "They lye, who fay
"they believe no God, for tho' by Day in the Hurry of
"Company, and Heat of Debauch, they may profefs
Atheiſm; yet in Darkneſs and Retirement they change
"their Mind:" Say if you pleafe no God is the Wifh of
Many, but the Opinion of None: But if fome Authors
have ſaid ſo, others equally credible have contradicted 'em;
yet all agree that thofe People have more of the Beaſt,
than of the Man; they wander in Woods, like Tigers,
without Commerce, without human Society, they worry
their own Species, and prey upon their nearest Relati-
ons; fo that, like Children, though they have Reaſon, they
want the Ufe of it: They live without Reflection, and
confequently without Difcourfe; and indeed I do not fee
why Diſeaſes of the Soul may not untune the Organs of
the
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 359
the Brain, as well as thofe of the Body; why Education
and Barbarity may not obſtruct the Operations of the In-
tellect, as well as a Frenzy. The whole Set of European
Atheiſts are but a Pack of daring Debauchees, who pride
in Infamy, and bluſh at Modefty: They reafon ill, and
live worfe; they hate Truth no lefs than Sobriety, and
are too infignificant, either to countenance a good Cauſe,
or prejudice it: Their Votes, like Cyphers, without an
Unit, make no Number.
But let us face your Atheist with thofe who believe a
God, and we fhall find after a general Mufter (though
you appear alfo at the Head of the London Brigade) an
infinite Difproportion. Would it not be true, that all the
Citizens of London profefs the Religion of the Church of
England, altho' one Presbyterian, or Recufant upon Ex-
amen fhould be found among them? And will you conteft
this univerfal Variety, that reafonable Creatures endea-
vour to defend themſelves from the Injuries of Wind and
Weather, becauſe fome brutifh Savages lie under the
open Canopy of Heaven without Fence, or a Hut to
skreen off the Heats of the Summer, or the Cold of the
Winter? Yet the Difproportion between you and us is
ten times greater, than between one Recufant, and the
Citizens of London, or between thofe Men who make
Provifions againſt the Rigour of Seafons, and thofe who
do not: If therefore in one Cafe, a particular Fact does
not prejudice the univerfal Inference, why muft it in the
other? Ariftotle tells us, that fome rejected this Princi-
ple, Athing cannot be, and not be at the fame time, and
that Anaxagoras maintain'd Snow is Black; yet, I fuppoſe,
if I fay the Principle is receiv'd by all Mankind, you will
not except againſt my Aflertion. I may then conclude,
that the Perfuafion of a God runs through our whole Spe-
cies, and ſpreads as wide as the remoteſt Colony.
Theo. If I difpute my Ground by Inches, we fhall
make a long Work of our Conference: Pray go on.
Eufeb. Our difference about the Matter of Fact being
at an End, I ask you the Origin of this univerfal Impref-
fion; From whence comes it that this chimerical Object
continually encounters and haunts our Understanding?
Why do our Apprehenfions rove in another World, and
fufh the Being of a Deity?
A a 4
beo
360
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Theo. Some witty Gentlemen will tell you, this Notion
came into the World by an accidental Fright; Men ſtart-
ed at Thunder, before they knew the Caufe 'of it, and
fome of greater Wits than their Neighbours improv'd this
pannick Fear into Religion; they perfuaded the Mobile
there was fomebody above, that ſpoke aloud, and breath'd
forth his Anger in Flames and Smoak: Others with much
Probability affirm this Perfuafion fprings from an innate
Fear in the Mind of Man, and a reftlefs Apprehenfion
of the worst that may happen, Primum in orbe Deos fe-
cit timor.
Eufeb. A Man that will not take Notice of the true
Reafon of Things, which generally is but one, may
forge a hundred falfe ones; for though one Path leads to
Truth, a thouſand conduct us into Error. Pray, Sir, fee-
ing Men were firſt frighted, and then cheated into the
Belief of a Deity, of whom did that witty Gentleman
borrow the Notion? He was certainly imbu'd with the
Idea of a God, before he couid communicate it to his
Neighbours. The Cheat was first put on him before he
deceiv'd others. Who impos'd on him? His Name de-
ferves a confiderable Place in Hiftory, and I do not fee,
why our Fore-fathers ſhould have been lefs careful to
conferve his Memory, who flyly brought the Notion of
a God into the World, than his who conveigh'd the Tro-
jan Horfe into the City, and betray'd it to the Grecians:
But though you fatisfy this Quare, the fame Queſtion
will return, who cozen'd him? Nor will it ceaſe, till we
diſcover the Origin, or have run you up beyond the firſt
Moment of Time; the only tolerable Eſcape is to refolve
this Fear into Tradition,
But ray tell me, how you know this Impreffion ab im-
memoriali, has been handed down from Father to Son?
You are Men of Parts, and glory more in Wit than
Grace; you generally ſcorn all Authority but your own,
and appeal even from what we call Scripture, to Rea-
fon: Back your Affertion with any tolerable Proof,and for
once I'll take it for Demonſtration: All you can fay a-
mounts to this, that perchance long ago, fome thinking
Brain wrap'd up in continual Speculation, blunder'd up-
on the Notion, and fent it round; that it found a kind
Reception; and even fince has been kept in Countenance
and Reputation? But it is not ftrange that one meer Per-
chance
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 361
chance that ftands for 20 God, fhould weigh more with.
an Atheist, than pofitive Reafon for him?
This Tradition is of a very antient Date, and older, in
all Probability, than the Invention of Writing; for ought
that you know, it has been from the Beginning; nay,
I may add it's ten times more likely, it fprang up with
Man, than that a Man firſt ſtarted the Impoſture, and
others made it over to Pofterity: For the Impreffion of
a God finks into the Souls, not only of thofe polite and
civiliz'd Nations, who have preferv'd from Oblivion.
fome Remnants of paft Tranfactions and Books of Re-
cords, but even of thofe who are as ignorant of what
paffed in the laſt Age, as of what was done two thoufand
Years ago, and of thoſe whofe Arithmetick goes not be-
yond their Fingers, nor their Knowledge beyond their
own Remembrance. What likelihood then that thoſe
who are Strangers to all Tradition, fhould be fo well ac-
quainted with this?
But to diſpatch the firft Gentleman; when the natural.
Caufe of Thunder was diſcover'd, why was not the
Cheat unmask'd? Why did not the Phantom diſappear
at the fight of Knowledge, which Ignorance and Error
had created? Were the Underſtandings of Men fo cow'd
with the Cheat, that they durft not ftruggle againſt it: Or
were they fo enamour'd of their Fears, as to cherish the
Object of their Torment? If this be true, our Anceſtors
were caft in another Mould than we, they hugg'd what
we hate, and doted on what we abhor, If a Man im-
poſes on us by a Surprize, fo foon as the Cheat is dif
cover'd, we ſtand upon our Guard, and, like Birds ſhot
at, grow wild: We become cautious and referv'd, we
ftand off in Jealouſy and Sufpicion: But our tame Ance-
ſtors, who were thunder'd and lighten'd into the Belief of
a God, kept up the Illufion when they had unvizarded
the Trick: They lik'd, it ſeems, .the Conceit, and were
fo pleas'd with Fears and Apprehenfions, they refolv'd
to make them immortal.
Theo. Thefe Gentlemen will tell you, Time wore out
the Memory of the Impofture, but not the Effects: The
Cheat was foon forgot, tho' the Notion of a God remain'd;
Education kept this on foot, and continu'd it to our Time;
and indeed the original Tincture of Education feldom,
wears out: Tho' fome inbred Principles are impregna-
ble
3
362
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
ble againſt Education, yet fome Cuſtoms ariſe from Edu-
cation, which Nature it felf can hardly deal with.
Eufeb Atheists, when they have loft their other Holds,
retreat to Education; they look upon it as an advantagi-
ous Poft, and think themſelves there, not only out of the
Reach of Surprize, but of Affault; it is their darling Ar-
gument, and therefore deſerves a peculiar Confideration.
I defire you therefore to keep it for a Referve, at prefent
I have the fecond Gentleman upon my Hands, and I muſt
do him Right before I leave him. You fay, other Gentle-
men affirm, with great Probability, that the Perfuafion of
a God Springs from an innate Fear in the Mind of Man,and
a restless Apprehenfion of the worst that may happen; and
then you prop the Affertion with the Authority of a Poet.
This is in Mr. Hobbs's Phrafe; Fear of Power invifible,
feign'd by the Mind, or imagin'd from Tales publickly
told, is Religion.
This Evafion is liable to great Exceptions; for fuppo~
fing Man has an innate Fear, that he is fubject to ima-
gine dreadful Things, and apt to fcare himſelf with
ghaftly Apparitions of his own coining; yet he cannot
fear, unleſs he frames, or finds the Object that raiſes this
unquiet Paffion: What Object can we frame in the Shop
of his Apprehenfions which has not fome Relation to
Misfortunes he has either feen or heard of? The Fancy
may make ſtrange Combinations, and tie together Things
that have no Connexion, yet it must know thofe Things
before it links them together; for the Apprehenfion, like
the Will, cannot work upon thoſe Materials that lie out
of its Sphere. When the Streams of the Hypochondry
mount up to the Brain, a Man may fancy himſelf at the
laft Gafp, though his Pulfe beat even, and he enjoys per-
fect Health, for he has feen others die, and knows he is
liable to the fame Fate; but the moft fplenetick Coxcomb
in the World cannot fright himſelf with a Pleurify, unleſs
he knows there be fuch a Diſeaſe in Nature. The Noti-
on of a God may therefore awaken Man's Fear, but the
moſt timorous Nature cannot tremble at the Apprehenfi-
on of a God, unleſs fuch a Being be known: Seeing
therefore the Knowledge of a God precedes his Fear, whọ
ftamp'd on Man the Impreflion?
Theo. We must take Things as we find them. Man
depends originally on himſelf, he is beholding to no ex-
terior
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
363
terior Principle for his Exiftence, he is as he ever was,
and will always be without any intervening Change:
The Notion of Deity, thefe Gentlemen fay, has ftuck
cloſe to him from Eternity, and in all Probability will
jog on with him till the Species fall into nothing; but
to what Intent this Fury hovers about him, Doctors have
not determin'd; fome, notwithstanding, are inclin'd to be-
lieve, that Nature envious of Man's Happineſs, rais'd this
Spirit to cool his Hopes, and fophifticate his Pleafures.
Eufeb. Your Gentlemen Incognito, who argue by Proxy,
triumph without Doubt, and fancy this Anfwer has made
the Buſineſs wonderfully clear; but I appeal to the com-
mon Senfe of Mankind, whether it does not rather ſtart
Difficulties, than folve them. I have prov'd, that Men
knew God, before they fear'd him, and confequently that
this Fear could not fpring from any innate timorous Dif-
pofition, but that it muſt be afcribed to the great Author
of Nature, who has ftamp'd on our Souls the Knowledge
of his Being, now your young Gentlemen very confi-
dently tell me, Man was ab æterno, and ftands indebted
for his Being to no Body but his own Nature, and they
thruſt on me this fine Syftem, with fuch an Air of Aſſu-
rance, as if it were clear beyond Debate, and near allied
to the first Principles; whereas, the Thing is not only
falfe, but abfurd to Dotage, as I fhall make out in its
proper Place; but abyffus abyffum invocat, one Abfurdity
ufhers in another; a bad Thefis is always fupported with
weak Proofs.
But, for the prefent, I admit your Hypothefis. Ariftotle
affumes this Aphorifm as a Principle, Natura nihil agit
fruftra, Nature does nothing in vain; now whether we
caft our View without us, or within us, whether we
furvey the great World, or the lefs, we fhall fubfcribe to
the Maxim: The natural Inclination of all Things, either
tend to the Perfection or Confervation of Individuals, or
elfe to the Beauty and Symmetry of the whole. Sympa-
thies and Antipathies, have their proper Stations and
Employments; every Being, tho' never ſo minute, acts
its Part in the great Theatre of the Univerfe; there are
no Mutes in the whole Creation, that appear meerly to
fill the Stage: Seeing therefore all other Things have
their Task cut out for them, and labour in their feveral
Pofts, why should this Notion of a God, like a Drone,
ftand
:
(
364
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
ſtand idle without Office, without Employment? Has
Nature flung it into the World at Random, as the Oſtrich
lays her Eggs, and then flies into the Defart? Why ſhould
you arraign her Prudence in this Point, who fhews her
Wiſdom in the Management of all Things befides?
Ought we not rather to question your Integrity, than
her Conduct?
Befides, whether all Things were ab æterno of them-
felves, or juftled into Being by a lucky Hit of Chance,
and Legerdemain, they have at leaſt happen'd as well, as
if an infinite Wiſdom and Power had a Hand in the Con-
trivance; but 'tis moft certain, that an infinite Wiſdom
would never have engrafted in the Minds of Men ſo vain,
fo fuperfluous a Principle, had there been no God in the
World; therefore feeing fuch a Principle runs thro' the
whole Mafs of Mankind, we have all the Reafon in the
World to conclude, there is no God.
A Perfon of Quality in the Company, who meafur'd
his Wit by his Eſtate, would needs come into Theoma-
chus's Succour; he thought his Title would add a Luftre
to his Arguments, and that he might filence Eufebius by
Authority, tho' he could not by Reafon: Methinks, faid
he, with fubmiffion to better Judgments, Theomachus
has overlook'd the decifive Solution of the Difficulty,
yet I muft needs fay, he has behav'd himſelf in the Con-
teft like a Man of Parts, he has not' fhrunk under the
Character of a witty and well-fpoken Man, but main-
tain'd his Reputation; yet oftentimes Warmth and Ea-
gerneſs let Advantage flip, and we remember not in a
Hurry thoſe Arguments that occur, when our Temper
is cool and fedate: I do not fee why we fhould have
Recourſe to accidental, or natural Fears, or why we
fhould fetch this Notion from the further end of Eternity;
we can reconcile the Difference, and ftop the Breach
at leſs Expence of Time and Labour: I am apt to think
Education will unriddle the Mystery; we eafily take
the firft Tincture, and when it's well imbib'd, it never
wears off: The firſt Rudiments ftick fo clofe, that often-
times they never leave us, and fo by a pardonable Mi-
ſtake, even wiſe Men afcribe many Things to our Nature,
which we owe to the fole Inftruction of our Nurfe.
Turcifm runs in fome Families, Popery in others, and
the reform'd Religion in mine: Whence comes this Va-
riety
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 365
riety but from Education, and a certain Influence of the
Climate? Had I been born at Conftantinople, I had taken
the Turban inſtead of a Hat, and Circumcifion in place of
Baptiſm; had I Spain or Italy for my Country, Popery
would have been my Religion, and in all Probability I
ſhould have been as ready to fight for Clement the XIth's
Prerogative of Primacy, as I am now to fight againſt it:
Education alone has continu'd Religions; we are Prote-
ftants in England now, becauſe our Parents and Govern-
ours were fo the laft Age: The Turks have taken their
Alcoran from their Anceſtors, and the prefent Papifts
Tranfubftantiation, feven Sacraments, and the Mafs
from theirs: Now if our Fore-fathers by Education could
infufe into us the Belief of thefe feveral Religions, why
not that of a God? And if they could, why fhould we
craze our Brain, and exhauſt our Spirits in the Purſuit of
another Origin?
The Company applauded my Lord's Performance, and
fome were for petitioning for a higher Patent, for the fig-
nal Service he had done the Nation.
Eufeb. Under favour, my Lord, this Expedient will
not do; nay, thofe Difficulties I object againſt Theoma-
chus turn upon your Hypothefis with no lefs Violence
than his: For this Notion of a God could not be ſpread
by Education, before it was in the World; it could not
be toft from paſt Ages down to the prefent, unleſs it was
in paſt Ages; and if it was, it either was ab æterno, or
began in Time: If you fay the firft, you build the whole
Proof on meer Conjecture and Suppofition, nor can you
make one Tittle of it good, without begging the Quefti-
on: If you fay the fecond, then either it began with
Man, or after him; if with Man, then God who made
Man ftamp'd on his Mind this Impreffion; if it began af-
ter him, pray who firſt fail'd into the other World, and
made the Diſcovery of this airy Spectre? Where did he
live; and when? Or at leaſt if you are not able to date
the Birth of the Notion, fhew me when it was not, and
I will pay your Argument the fame Refpect I owe your
Perfon; but I cannot take Words for Reafon, not a proof-
lefs Suppofition for Evidence: You are the capital Wits
of the World; cautious Perfons, that will not be impos'd
that on all Occafions call for Evidence.
on,
Befides,
366
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
2
Befides, according to the Characters of Education and
Nature, the Notion has no Refemblance with Education,
but every Line, every ftroke, reprefents Nature to the
Life. We fay Self-love, and the Inclination to Pleaſure.
are natural to Man, becauſe we ſee theſe two Paffions ac-
company him in all Ages, in all Places, and in all Em-
ployments; we love our felves now as our Anceſtors did
fix thoufand Years ago; we purſue Pleaſures in 1702,
with the fame Eagernefs our Fore-fathers did in 1000,
and even thoſe who acting by more high and divine Mo-
tives fly Pleaſure, cannot avoid the Inclination: The
Defire of Glory, according to all Men, rifes alfo from
Nature, becauſe it puts the Thoughts of all Men in a
Ferment, it awakens their Induftry, and enlivens them
for Action; we all love to furvive the Grave, and hate
that our Name fhould be nail'd up in the Coffin: This
Perfuafion begun with Man, and has continued in his
Blood without Variation, without Interruption; it
warms old Age, and fires Youth, it affaults the Peafant,
it captivates the Prince; thofe who dare not fetch Glory
from the Camp, purfue it at the Bar, they plead up their
Names when they want Refolution to fight them up; in
fine, Nature is the fame in all Men, it's ftable, uniform,
permanent; but Education is of another Complexion, 'tis
always upon the Change; Time, Intereft and Conqueft
eſtabliſh new Cuſtoms, they fet up new Principles of Edu-
cation, and proclaim new Maxims: The Conqueft of
William the First forc'd England to bow to new Cuſtoms,
as well as new Mafters; it aboliſh'd the old Laws, toge-
ther with the antient Kings, and our Education became
French with our Governours: Look where you will,
and you'll find Education always follow'd the Fortune
of the State, the Subverfion of this was a Prelude to the
Establishment of that.
If therefore upon Inquiry we find the Inftinct of a
God has pafs'd untouch'd, through all the Revolutions of
Times and Empires; if it has bore up againſt the Fury
of the moſt barbarous Conqueror; what can we con-
clude, but that it is fix'd and rooted in Nature; but that
God has ftamp'd this Character of himſelf upon us, and
that it fprings not from the Principles of Education?
Now I have already demonftrated, that the Notion of a
God poffefs'd all Mens Minds from the beginning of
Ages;
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 367
Ages; that it has stood immoveable, amidst all the Vicif-
fitudes of Time, and all the Turns of Fortune: Empires
have fallen either under the Weight of their own Great-
nefs, or the Fury of the barbarous Conquerors: Nations.
have left Barbarity to take up Civility, and again aban-
don'd Civility to replunge into Barbarity; they have quit→
ted their old Habitations to feek out new ones, and loft
i their very Language with their Liberty: One Custom
has juftled out another, and Time has wore out that to
make room for a third: Thefe ftrange Revolutions have
wrought no Change in the Belief of a Deity; it has
furviv'd Empires, and prov'd more durable than the Co-
lous of Rhodes, or the Temple of Diana; neither the
Corruption of Nature, nor all the vain Attempts of
Atheiſts, have been able to baniſh it from one Town,
Village, or Family: The Notion of a God has made
Mankind in all Ages, and in all Places fall before it, and
thoſe Men who dare difpute against him cannot forbear
to tremble. 'Tis then moſt certain that either Man has
no natural Propenfion, or that this Impreffion of a ſu-
pream Being is one.
In the mean time I do not doubt, but Education may
limit our natural Inclinations, and rather tie them to
one Object than another; for though naturally all Mer
propend to Pleaſure, yet what is agreeable to fome, is not
to others; what touches fmoothly my Organ, may grate
upon yours. Domitian delighted himſelf with ſticking
Flies, Nero with driving Chariots; fome are for Venus,
others for Bacchus: And this confining the univerſal Prin-
ciple rifes either from Education, or Conftitution, or
both. Again, though the Defire of Glory be natural and
univerfal, yet Education often affigns the Object; and
hence it is, that Punctilic's vary with the Climate; fome
place their Glory in overcoming an Enemy, others in-
pardoning him; fome judge nothing more glorious than
to ride at the Head of an Army, to fack Towns, and
drive Defolation before them; whilft others laugh at
their Folly, and rap'd up in Speculation, think it more
honourable to write of Wars, than to wage them: In a
Word, Theomachus, you perchance perfuade your felf no-
thing can be more illuftrious than to defy God, whilſt
I am fatisfied the true Glory of every rational Creature
confifts in Obedience to his Commands, and love to his
Perfon:
1
368
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Perfon: Theſe are the Effects of Education, they vary
with the Meridian, they become obfolete with Time,
and, like Faſhions or Almanacks, grow out of Date.
Let us fay the fame of God; though the Perſuaſion of
a God be engrafted in Nature, yet Education may contri-
bute to frame different Ideas of him, and to propagate
various Worſhips: Some People fell before a Crocodile,
others before a Red-Cloth; the Romans worship'd Men,
and fome Indians the Devil: When once Ignorance had
hatch'd theſe monftrous Ideas of God, and Authority had
given them Credit, Education fpread the Errour, and
handed it down to Pofterity: But the Notion of a Divi-
nity preceded the Infection of Education, and Men be-
liev'd a fupream Being and a true God, before they ſet
up the Statues of a falfe one.
I grant that the different Sects which divide, and ſub-
divide Chriftianity, owe their Propagation to Education;
(I mean generally) and what wonder? For Chriftianity
is a reveal'd Religion, its Myfteries lie above the reach of
Nature, our Underſtanding cannot come at them, God
himſelf has been pleas'd to communicate them, he has
writ them on Paper, not on our Hearts, and we muſt
hear them before we can believe them: Parents take care,
either by themfelves, or others, to inftill into their Chil-
dren the Principles of thofe Sects they profefs, and to
chufe for them a Religion before they can make any
Choice for thernfelves: Thus moft Men enter upon their
Parents Religions, as they do upon their Eftates, and re-
folve that, which will convey them into an endleſs Mi-
fery or Happineſs, into meer Education: But the Exift-
ence of a God is printed in our Nature; we know it
without the Help of external Revelation or Preaching;
we are our own Scripture, our own Apoſtles.
But do not think, I deny Education can have any part
in framing in us the Knowledge of a God; tho' it be na-
tural for a Mother to love her Children, and for a Child
to refpect his Mother, yet Education concurs, this draws
up thofe reciprocal Duties in more lively Colours, and
puts the laſt Hand to the rough Draught of Nature: Juſt
fo is our preſent Controverfy, tho' Nature leads us to
the Knowledge of a God, yet Education haftens it; this
brightens oftentimes the Idea, and polifhes it with In-
ftructions and Precepts: Thus, my Lord, I have return'd
an
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 369
1
an Anſwer to your Objection, and without the leaft
Grain of Partiality prov'd, that Atheiſts retreat in vain
to Education.
Theo. What you deny to Education cannot be refus❜d to
Policy. This Whim of a God was hatch'd in fome Clo-
fet by a fecret Juncto of Stateſmen. It firft ifu'd from
the Court, and was probably poſted into the Country by
Proclamation; Authority fent it Abroad, Fear kept it
Countenance, and at laft the Stamp of Sovereignty pro-
pagated it; the Trick took marvelloufly; the Apprehen-
fion of a Deity, the Terrors of eternal Pains, with the
flattering Allurements of eternal Pleaſure, aw'd the Sub-
ject into Obedience and Submiffion; and then thefe Ef-
fects, fo beneficial to Government, eafily perfuaded Prin-
ces to cheriſh the Illufion, and to keep up the Impoſture.
Eufeb. Good God! That Men ſhould be ſo wife to de-
ceive themſelves! Is the Belief of a God fo conducing to
the buoying up of human Society; ſo neceflary for the
fuppreffing of Diſorders, and the Converfation of a juſt
Subordination? "Twere then to be wifh'd, at least, there
were fuch a Thing; and were I of the great Counſel of
the Nation, I would offer a Bill to both the Houſes for
the Extirpation of Atheiſts, who endeavour to deprive the
State of fo excellent an Inſtrument of Government. But
'tis ftrange, that Man, into whoſe Soul Nature, Chance
or Neceffity, or what you think fit to call his originary
Caufe, have breath'd fuch a Sympathy to Commerce,
fuch an Inclination to Society, fhould have left him ſo
naked of thoſe Materials that are neceflary for carrying on
any ſtable Correſpondence, that he is forc'd to have Re-
courfe to Fiction, to flie to Forgery, and to build the
whole Frame of mutual Communications on Cheats, that
are the Bane of Society, the Plague of Converfation, the
Difturbers of Peace, and declar'd Enemies to Order.
Secondly, What Machiavel firft rais'd this Spirit, that all
the Power of Wit pointed with Debauchery, has never
been able to conjure down? what great Nebuchodonozor
rear'd up
this gigantick Statue of a Deity, and then com
manded all People and Nations to fall down and worship it?
Where did he keep his Court? In what part of the World.
did he reign? In what Olympiad did he live? A cre-
dible return to thefe few Queries might poflibly make
fome Impreffion on reafonable Men: But an Hypotheſis in
Bh
the
370
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
the Air, that wants the Prop of Proofs, that is fuftain'd
by meer Conjecture or Poffibility, muſt fall to the
Ground: Authority without Reafon makes but a lean
Figure, and if you intend to win our Faith, firſt ſubdue
our Underſtandings.
Thirdly, If the Notion of a Deity be a meer Trick of
Stateſmen, a fly Invention of Princes; methinks they
fhould not ſtartle at the Monſter, they only fram'd to af-
fright others; they may turn their Subject's Fears into Di-
verſion, as well as Profit, and applaud their Cunning for
this double Advantage of Obedience and Pleafure; but
we ſee the contrary; Statelinen are no more fecure from
Throws of Confcience than the Mechanicks, nor the
Prince than the Peafant; the Terrors of a God often
rife with the Character; great Men moft dread his Juftice,
becauſe they moft offend his Goodneſs. I ask then, how
thofe who fourb'd others, become Dupes to their own
Contrivances? If by State-Magick they conjur'd up this
Phantom, why do they tremble at it? Did all the Prin-
ces of the World die inteftati,, without making over this
great arcanum Imperii to their Succeffors? Were they
cut off in one Night as the firft-born of Egypt? Or did
they intomb this grand Secret with their Bodies? A Man
that can ſwallow thefe Abfurdities, rather wants Helle-
bore than Arguments, and I would fooner recommend
him to a Phyſician than a Philofopher.
Fourthly, That Hero of your Faction, the great Mr.
Hobbs, that able Politician, who wheedled himself firft,
and then a confiderable part of the Nobility out of Confci-
ence and Religion too: That Hobbs, I fay, who has left
us a Draught of Government, I mean of Atheiſtical Po-
licy, in Folio: Who knows as little what he fays, as
what he believes, croffes upon your Syftem; he rather
lays theKnavery at theSubject's Door, than at the Prince's,
and affirms point Blank the fetting up of a God was
to drive home Liberty, and to pen up Sovereignty, to
countenance Difobedience, and to clip the Wings of Au-
thority: It is impoffible, fays he, a Common-wealth should
fland, where any other but the Sovereign bath a Power of
giving greater Reward than Life, and of inflicting greater
Punishments than Death; now feeing eternal Life is a
greater Reward then the Life prefent, and eternal Tor-
ment a greater Puniſhment than the Death of Nature, it is
a thing
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
371
a thing worthy to be well confider'd of all Men, that defire
by obeying Authority to avoid the Calamities of Confufion
and Civil War, and what is meant in Holy Scripture by
Life eternal,and Torments eternal; and then he lays before
his Reader as fine a Scheme of Life and Death eternal, as´
a Libertine can defire, or an Atheiſt invent: According to.
this Gentleman, thofe Princes that firft fet up the Notion
of a God upon political Ends, were but puny Statifts,
they were as unacquainted with their Intereft as the Max-
ims of Ruling, for conftituting a fuperior Power, that
could reward more liberally, and punifh more feverely
than they; they fuggefted new Pretences of Revolt to
their Subjects, and fhew'd a Secret till then unknown,
viz. that on Occafions they might war upon their Lea-
ders, not only without Sin, but even with Merit: For-
in the Hypothefis of a God, this Maxim is evident, God is
to be obey'd before Man; now Experience teaches us, that
Knaves can eaſily perfuade the Mob, any Injunction of a
Prince that lies a little heavy, is againſt God, and when
once this Frenzy has feiz'd upon the Brains of the Vulgar,
they flie to Arms, they flay out of Zeal, they butcher
their Fellow-Subjects out of Devotion, and veil the Pre-
rogative to Property, and the Crown to the Prong and
Pitch-fork: Thefe, I fuppofe, are the Reafons that move
Mr. Hobbs to caution Princes againſt Religion, to queſti-
on the Rewards of Virtue, and the Punifhments of Vice:
You fee how you recede from the Opinion of Mr. Hobbs,
and leave your Patriarch in the Lurch: It's unkind to
treat a Gentleman,with fo little Ceremony, to whom you
owe ſo much; he firft brought Atheiſm into Credit, and
like the Giant in the Fable, firft war'd openly upon Vir-
tue, and then turn'd his Fury against Heaven: He mo¬
dell'd you into a kind of Society, who before rang'd about
the World like the wild Tartars or Arabians, without
Government or Order: 'Twas he firft rais'd Impudence
to a Science, Frenzy to Wit, and Infidelity to Religion:
From him you borrow your Errors, and even Arms to
defend them: Why then will you difoblige a Man to
whom your whole Fraternity ftands indebted?
In a Word, the Belief of a Divinity could never be im-
pos'd on Mankind by the Cunning of any Prince or
Stateſman; for when one Man attempts to over-reach a-
nother, he has recourfe, without doubt, to Reafon; now
Bb z
I can-
372
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
"
I cannot perfuade my felf that Reaſon can invent a
Cheat that Reafon cannot difcover; for it's evident the
Belief of a fupream Being carries Dread and Terror a-
long with it; it humbles Pride, checks Lewdness, and
curbs the pleafing Sallies of Senfuality; it prefcribes Laws
to Intereft, and Bounds to Pleaſure, it reftrains Thoughts
no less than Actions; then how can a Man in his Wits
prefume, that upon the bare Propofition of the Doctrine,
without any ferious Examen, without the Recommenda-
tion of plaufible Arguments, all Men fhould fwallow the
Impoſture, and vote the Being of a God at the Expence
of their darling and favourite Prerogative Liberty, of their
Quiet and Tranquillity? Before you can admit fo palpa-
ble an Abſurdity, you muſt fuppofe all Mankind flung
up their Reaſon for Company-fake, or run mad to keep
up the Frolick: You muft fuppofe our Anceſtors were
of another Species, than we, that their Inclinations croſs'd
on ours, they plac'd their Pleaſure not in Enjoyment but
Self-denial, their Liberty in Conſtraint, and their Hap-
pineſs in Trembling.
But if you fay they embrac'd the Tenets on Grounds
fallacious at Bottom, but glaz'd over with the plauſible
Varniſh of Sophiſtry and Paralogifm; it's ſtrange, that
Reafon after a hundred Attempts, for the fpace of many
Ages, has never been able to tear off the Difguife, or to
difcover the Fallacy that was contrived by Reafon:
And yet it is more aftoniſhing, that the univerfal Reafon
of Mankind has been wretchedly enfnar'd and blinded.
to fo prodigious a Degree, as to take thofe Proofs for
reaſonable and ſolid, which upon the Principles of Athe-
iſts were never able to give any rational Account of
God's Exiſtence, either by his Effects or Operations :
You cannot believe this, unleſs you believe that Reaſon
it felf is unreaſonable, or that the Reaſon of all the
World was over-reach'd by that of one crafty Politician.
If you dare venture to clap in with this Abfurdity, I
muſt confefs your Faith is facile and comprehenfive in
fome Cafes, tho' ftreight-lac'd in others; and you can-
not refuſe to believe a God, unleſs you own it's in your
Power to believe what is morally impoffible, but not
what is highly credible. To conclude, you have un-
riddled the Secret; it's a meer State-Engine, you fay, a
petty Craft to fright fome, and flatter others into Óbe-
dience;
1
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
373
dience; disband therefore your Fears, run from Conſci-
ence, or out-grow it, place Good and Evil on the ſame
Level, for nothing can be Evil below, unlefs there be a
fupream Law-giver above. A Child will fcream out at
its Nurſe, under the Difguife of a Vizard, but take it off,
and he turns the very Object of Fear into Play and Di-
verfion; you have unmafk'd the Fourbery, you have dif-
cover'd the Impofture, why have you lefs Aflurance than
a Child; why lefs Difcretion? Why do you ſtill ſweat
under the Awe of a Deity, and fometimes groan under
the Laſhes of Confçience? If you have been gull'd into
theſe Frights, diſcourſe your ſelf out of them; Fear and
Remorſe are not very entertaining: If a Syllogifm or two
would rid you of theſe Incumbrances, I would have you
try Conclufions: But alas! Your own Breaft confutes
your Pretenfions, when you affirm the Impreffion of a
God is nothing but a Trick, your Tongue trembles to-
gether with your Heart, and like a Criminal at the Bar,
you avow the Fact by a faint Denial.
Theo. Your Difcourfe amounts to this, that no Error
can invade and fubdue all Mankind: Now can any
thing be imagin'd more univerfal than Polytheiſm? Did
it not run through all Countries, as well as all Times? Did
it not ſweep away the Rich with the Poor; the Philofo-
pher with the Illiterate; and the Prince with the Pea-
fant? Through what Gate did this profane Worſhip creep
into the World? If many Gods may be foifted in, why
not one? Does the Greatneſs of the Abfurdity facilitate
the Impofture? Becaufe a Plurality of Gods fhocks Rea-
fon more than an Unity, can Reafon eaſier overlook the
Contradicton? Does the Cheat lie out of Sight, becauſe
a Child may diſcover it?
Eufeb. Polytheism, tho' it fpread wide, was never
univerfal: We know as fure when it was not, and when
it begun, as paft Tranfactions can be known: The Me-
mory of things paft can only run down to us through the
Channel of Tradition; Authors both Sacred and Pro-
phane mark its Origin; it takes its Rife from the Tower
of Babel, and the firft Emperor was metamorphos'd into
the first Deity: Nor did it infect all People; fome Mil-
lions of Jews detefted the Sacrilege, and there are ma-
ny probable Conjectures in fpite of the Sorbone, that the
Worship of one God continu'd in China two thouſand
Bb 3
}
Years:
374
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Years: But however, fince the Birth of Chriftianity, Po-
ly theifm has loft Credit and Empire, it only reigns
where Ignorance and Barbarity domineer, and thofe
poor Creatures hug the Cheat who are willing to be de-
ceiv'd.
Moreover, the Philofophers and wife Men of all Ages
and Countries receded from the Multitude in this mon-
ftrous Veneration: Plato confefs'd he was a Polytheift
when he ſpoke in jeft, but a Theist when he ſpoke in ear-
neft: Cicero rallies the State Theology,and drolls upon thoſe
Gods in his Books he ador'd in the Capitol: Seneca bur-
leſques the Multiplicity of Divinities; and, in a Word,
all the Heathen Divines as well as Poets, evidently demon-
ftrate, that thofe believ'd in many Gods, who follow'd Cu-
ftom, and thofe in one who obey'd Reafon : So that,
tho' the wife Men were not guilty of the Error, they were
of the Sin, becauſe they ſwam down the Stream with the
Vulgar, they burnt Incenſe to Stones, offer'd Victims to
Statues, and approv'd in their Actions what they con-
demn'd in their Judgment.
·
Nay, if we believe Tertullian, the very Multitude in
their fudden Frights look'd up to Heaven, not the Capi-
tol; and invok❜d one God, not many: Whence we may
draw with him this Inference, that Nature profefs'd one
God, whilft Corruption and Ignorance allow'd of thirty
Thouſand: But befides, in vain you beg univerfally of
the Vulgar; the Vote of the Multitude feparated from the
Approbation of the wife, is no more to be regarded than
the Opinion of Bethlems; their Authority can be of no
greater Weight than that of Children, who have Reafon,
but cannot uſe it: They know as little what they do, as
why; they act by no other Rule than Paffion or Cuftom;
like frighted Sheep one treads on the Heels of another,
and the Miftake of the firft is follow'd by that of the
whole Flock: In fine, they judge at Random, take things
upon Truft, and ftamp Truth and Falfhood with the fame.
Impreffion; and fo leave us no Marks to diſcover the
Impofture.
華
​But again, your Argument is fo far from enervating
my Difcourfe, that it confirms it: People had never a-
dor'd falfe Gods, had they not been firft perfuaded there
was a true one; as a Picture ſuppoſes ſome real Original,
fo a counterfeit Excellency fuppofes a real one; Who
would
1
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 375
would counterfeit Guineas if there was no fuch Coin?
Or cheat the World with falfe Diamonds if there were
no true ones in Nature? The Heathens ador'd falfe Gods?
I think we may therefore with a great deal of Proba-
bility infer, that Nature taught them there was a true
one.
Now it's no hard Task to convince a Man that will
ftoop to Reaſon, that Polytheism might eaſily be ſet on
Foot by Craft, Policy, or Corruption, though the Belief
of one God could not: Firſt, To fatisfy the Senfes, Men
made God Viſible: Secondly, To content the Imagination,
that could not crowd all the Perfections of God in one
Idea, they multiply'd the Divinity; then Blindneſs
growing upon them with the Superitition, thofe things
that were intended to reprefent his Perfections were ap-
plied to Men; and then Darkneſs ſeiz'd upon them to
that Degree, that they deified Difeafes, and ador'd thoſe
Obfcenities in their Temples, they durft not name in.
civil Company. Lastly, To favour their Paffions, and to'
give full Wing to unreaſonable Appetites, they placed
Adulterers in Heaven, Strumpets on Altars, and ador'à
all Vices, that they might be exempt from the Practice
of all Virtues; for who durft condemn what they ador'd;
or puniſh what they worship'd? What Crime might not
be committed at Home with Honour and Impunity, that
was reverenc'd in the Temples with Proftitution and
Victims?
But if this Account does not pleaſe you, pray attend,
and I hope you will receive full Satisfaction. Polytheism
is a Sin of the deepeſt Dye, and therefore we cannot
imagine Men plung'd into the very depth of Wicked-
nefs without previous Difpofitions. Crimes, like natural
Bodies, do not ſhoot out in a Moment, but leiſurely: Nè-
morepente fit poffimus. Idolatry like all other monftrous Of-
fences came upon us by Degrees; firſt Men carv'd Sta-
tues, then they honour'd them, and, in fine, ador❜d them;
and as the Caufe of making them was various, fo that of
deifying them was alfo: A Father, fays the wife Man,
afflicted with untimely Mourning, when he had made
the Image of his Child taken away, now honoured him
as a God, which was then a dead Man; and fome fell
into ſo deſperate an Ignorance, as to erect Statues and
Altars to thofe very Perfons they mourn'd for; they con-
ſtituted
Bb4
1
376
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
tituted Ceremonies for the Dead as Cures for the Grief
of the Living. Sacra facta funt quæ fuerunt aſſumpta So-
latia. Min. Felix.
In fome Places Idolatry ſprung from the Pride of Prin
ces, who fubftituted their Statues to fupply their Prefence,
and commanded their Subjects to pay their Reprefenta-
tive the Reſpect due to their Perfons; and this Worſhip,
though civil in its Origin, fwell'd into Adoration by the
fervile Flattery of fome, and the ftupendious Blindneſs
of others; and when once the Gate flew open to Illufion,
Idolatry rufh'd into the World like a Torrent, and bore
down all before it. Nebuchodonozor would be ador'd
whilft he liv'd: Alexander obtain'd Worfhip of the Per-
fians, but could not of his Macedonians; thefe to ſet up
their Valour would never own their King was a God,
the others deified their Conqueror to palliate the Shame
of their Defeat: The Roman Cafars lov'd rather to be
fear'd while they liv'd, than adored; they would firſt die
before they would be thought immortal, and pretended
no right to Sacrifices till Death cut off all Claim to Go-
vernment; but then the ignorant Multitude and fawning
Magiftrate plac'd their Princes above the Stars, and built
Temples to thoſe whom they ſtabb'd in the Senate, or
flung into the Common-fhores.
In other Places, Polytheifm and Idolatry came from
Gratitude; the People dedicated Statues to thoſe famous
Men, who first founded their Cities, or improv'd them,
who fram'd Laws, or invented Arts; and in Proceſs of
Time, the exterior Marks of Gratitude became Divine
Worſhip: If you doubt of theſe Occafions, let me re-
commend to your perufal Lactantius, Philaftrius, Arno-
bius and Min. Felix, and I am confident you will urge no
more for Satisfaction: Now if you ask me why the No-
tion of one God could not be impos'd on Mankind by
Ignorance, Stupidity and Cuſtom, as well as Idolatry and
Polytheifm; I can only defire you to ſpend a Moment's
Reflection on what I have faid already.
Theo. I perceive then you will not admit it poffible,
that any Error can be univerfal: Pray do not balance
plain Matter of Fact with Speculation. Did not all the
World believe the Antipodes impoffible? And do not the
Clowns of all Nations to this Day, take the Moon or Sun
to be ten times bigger than the fix'd Stars?
Eufeb
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 377
Eufeb. Whether an Error can be univerfal or no, is
not my Concern; tho' Ariftotle denies it, and tho' it can
never be made out by any Fact, that fuch an Error is
poffible, yet if a Confeffion will be any Advantage to
your Cauſe, pray take it; however, I maintain, that the
Perfuafion of a God cannot poffibly be fuch; and I think
that the Affertion is made pretty clear already; yet to
fatisfy Doubts, and to cut off all Reply, I add an Argu-
ment, which has all the Appearance of Conviction.
There is a natural Light in Man's Underſtanding, that
never deceives him; but then there is a Prejudice that al-
ways does; were we exempt from this, we fhould ſel-
dom be in the wrong; and were we diveſted of that, we
ſhould never be in the right; we cannot throw our Mi-
ſtakes on any in-bred Quality of the Intellect, for then
falfe Judgments would be natural to it, and fo we might
take up with the Scepticks, and doubt of all Things, or
rather we ſhould be affured of this alone, that we were
always in Error.
There are two Sources of Error, the one exterior,
which may be reduc'd to Example, Education, and So-
phistry; theſe exerciſe a ſtrange Empire on the Under-
ftanding, they impofe upon it to Admiration, and almoſt
force it into Error by propofing Objects under falfe
Light Hence it comes, that Lewdnefs in hot Countries,
and Drunkennefs in cold, pafs for Peccadillo's, altho' in
themſelves they are great Offences: The interior Cauſes
are three, the Senfes, Imagination, and Paffion, and any
of theſe are able to propofe things in borrowed Colours,
and repreſent them to the Underſtanding quite different
from themſelves; thus a Star having been reprefented to
us from our Cradle no bigger than a Candle, we have
found fome Difficulty to be difabufed, not being able to
reconcile the fmall Idea we take from our Senfe, to that
vaft one we receive from Reafon; our Imagination has
been fo employ'd in Matter, that it gives even Spirits its
Properties; we are no more able to imagine our Souls
without Extenfion, than a Mountain without a Valley;
the Will being engag'd by Paffion, biaffes the Under-
ſtanding, and forcing it to judge true whatever ftands for
our Advantage, leads us into a thoufand Errors; and then
tis very hard to difcover the Miftake, when 'tis our
Intereft to be deceiv'd: Now, I fay, the univerfal
、……….
Belief
378
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Belief of a God cannot be afcribed either to the exte-
rior Cauſes of Error, or to the interior: The firft of
the Affertion ftands firm on thoſe Reaſons I have alrea-
dy brought; the fecond I prove beyond a Poffibility of
doubting.
The Belief of a Deity cannot with any Colour of Rea-
fon be fuppos'd to flow from any of thefe general Ori-
gins of Illufion; if it be rather contrary than conform-
able to them, if they rather prompt us to believe there is
no God, than that there is one; for what Error can
fpring from thoſe Cauſes, that have no Proportion to it,
that rather ftifle than foment it? Now, I appeal to
Atheiſts themfelves, whether they owe not a great part
of their criminal Incredulity to Senfe, Imagination, and
Corruption of Heart; they have been fo long accuffom'd
to juggle by Senfe, that they feem to have loft the Fa-
culty of Reaſoning; they reject as Sophiftry or empty
Speculation whatever cannot fall under Senfation; they
tell us, they cannot admit God to be the Object of their
Faith, because he cannot be that of their Senfe; their
Imagination is loft in the Survey of his Eternity and
Immenfity, they cannot frame to themfelves any toler-
able Idea of his Effence, nor what he did, nor where he
was before the World's Creation; and then this Nonplus
of the Imagination puzzles the Understanding, and fo
they deny his Being, becauſe they do not conceive his
Effence, Attributes, and Occupation: In fine, the taint-
ed Inclinations that tyrannize over the Heart, level all
their Engines againſt God's Exiſtence, becauſe this Truth
curbs their Infolence, and if it does not correct their Ir-
regularity, at leaft it abates their Violence.
Let therefore all the World, if you pleafe, for many
Ages deny the Antipodes, let them believe the firft Stars are
no bigger than the Flame of a Taper, or that the Moon
equals the Sun; the very Hypothefis favours me; this uni-
verfal Miftake affures me almoft above Demonſtration,
that thoſe who confeſs a God are not deluded: For fix
thouſand Years the Senfes have brought negative Argu-
ments againſt the Exiſtence of a Divinity. Imagination
has conjur❜d up a hundred Difficulties, and thrown as
many Prejudices in our way, the extream Wickedneſs of
moſt Men has made no God their Intereft, and it has con-
quer'd their Defires, and corrupted thefe Wiſhes: Yet in
Ipight
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
379
fpight of Senſe, in fpight of Imagination, maugre all
the Bribes of Senfuality, the Flattery of Appetite, and
Violence of Paffions, that always raife Doubts in the
Face of Evidence, in the Prefence of Demonftration, the
Belief of a God has ftood unfhaken, it has fubdu'd the
moft obdurate, enlighten'd the moft ftupid, ſcar'd the
moft profligate, and overcome the moft rebellious; all
Nations, in all Ages, have acknowledg'd his Being, and
even thoſe who pretend to be Atheiſts cannot clear them-
felves of Doubts; their Fears are more certain than their
Judgment, and they quake before the Nothing they
laugh at.
Judge now whether the Belief of a God can be the
Effect of Prejudice, ſeeing it was upon the very Princi-
ples of Error, and maintain its Empire over the Judg-
ments of Men, meerly becauſe no Prejudice can with-
ftand it. I conclude therefore, this univerfal Confent,
this harmonious Concord of Men in Cuftoms different,
oppofite in Intereft, and almoft contrary the one to the
other in Complexion, as well as Features, cannot pro-
cecd from any Thing, but the Conviction of a Truth
God breath'd into our Souls when he efpous'd them to
our Bodies; he twifted it with our Nature, and fo hast
fenc'd it againſt the Affaults of Time, Cuftom and In-
clination; he has affur'd it againſt the falíe Intelligence of
Senfe, and the confounding Imprcffion of Imagination:
You may as foon debauch the Sun out of the Zodiack,
as this indelible Truth out of your Heart, or difpute an
Ethiopian white, as reafon a God into a Chimera: No
Armour is Proof against the Point of this Truth, there is"
no Shelter againſt the Force of this invincible Argument.
Opinionum commenta delet dies. Nature judicia confirmat.
Time wears out the Fiction of Opinions, and unmasks
the Falfity of ill-founded Perfuafions; but then it cor-
roborates the Dictates, confirms the Judgments of Na-
ture; and when a Notion has ſtood the Trial of all Na-
tions, and endur'd the Teft of all Ages, 'tis a Sign it
fprings from Nature, not from Caprice or Illufion.
DIA-
380
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed,
DIALOGUE XV.
From the univerſal Confent of Nations, it follows, that
this Propofition, there is a GOD, can be no more doubt-
ful than this, there was fuch a Man as Cæfar.
Theom. YOU fancy, I fuppofe, I am come over to
you, and turn'd a thorough pac'd Convert;
you have ply'd me fufficiently with Words, but not at alĺ
with Reafons.
Eufeb. 'Tis eafier to afperfe Truth, than to confute it;
When I began the Conference, if you remember, I en-
gag'd my felf to give you convincing Proofs of a God,
but not Wit to underſtand them: I have done my Part,
and if they make no Impreffion, you muſt accufe either
your Incapacity or Obftinacy, not the Weakneſs of the
Argument. A Man that has no Eyes, or fhuts 'em, may
grope in the dark at Noon-day, and if he blunders into
a Precipice, he muſt diſcharge the Sun, and lay his Mif-
fortune on the Indifpofition of the Organ, or the Folly of
his own Will: I have difcover'd Truth, and laid it as
open as Demonſtration will permit, now you very grave-
ly tell me, you can't difcern it; you may at the fame
Rate accufe Euclid, and turn his Demonftrations into
Paralogiſms, you may fay Pythagoras has fham'd human
Reaſon with his famous Difcovery, and that he was too
liberal when he gave a Hecatomb for a Sophifm. I tell
you again, I have not affaulted your Judgment with Fal-
lacy or Sophiſm, but with naked Truth: A Child may
fee it, and no Man of Reaſon can deny it; it's too evident
to be overlook'd, and too ftrong to be withftood; you
may as well doubt whether there was ſuch a Prince as
Cafar, -as call in queftion the Being of a Deity.
Theo. Hold there: I no more doubt of Cafar's Being,
than of my own; it's not in my Power to diffent from
either.
Eufeb. I fuppofc you make this publick Confeffion to
avoid Singularity, or that fome under-hand Deſign has a
greater Stroak in your Confeffion, than Conviction.
Theo
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 381
Theo. Nothing but Evidence draws out the Confeffion,
I cannot doubt when Demonftration affures me, and I
muſt waver, if bare Conjectures fupport me.
Eufeb Pray, by which Propofition of Mathematicks.
do you demonftrate Cæfar was?
Theo. You are in a Vein of Bantering furely; paft Mat-
ters of Fact neither require, nor are capable of Mathe-
matical Proofs, they are not to be made out by Signs or
Tangents, they ſtand on the Bafis of Authority, and are
only convey'd to our Knowledge by Tradition: Now I
ſuppoſe the joint Confent of all Men, and all Ages, is
able to make any paft Tranfaction credible.
Eufeb. Your Arithmetick runs too high; what do you
talk of all Men? The tenth Part of Mankind has heard
lefs of Cæfar, than of Domingo's Voyage to the Moon:
If you fend Hue and Cry after this great Conqueror into the
Country, nine Parts of ten will take him fooner for a
Highway-man, than an Emperor, and rather fuppofe he
had taken a Purfe, than conquer'd the World: Other
Countries of Europe are as little acquainted with this
Hero as ours: He is abfolutely loft to China and Japan;
his Feats never ſwarm over into America, and his Obícu-
rity even in Afia and Africa is far greater than his Renown;
his Memory is only confin'd to Books, it lives among
Pedants and School-Boys.
Theo. 'Tis true, but the Tradition, tho' not phyfically
univerfal, is morally fo; and this fuffices to make the
Fact certain.
Eufeb. Nay, Sir! I am abfolutely for you, and did you
not believe there was fuch a Man as Cefar, I fhould
perfuade you to turn Anchoret, to take up in Foreſts,
and forfwear all human Society; for in Reality, you
will be as ill rigg'd out for Converfation as Buffoes or
Buzzards; but then if upon lefs Grounds you believe
there has been fuch a Man as Cæfar, why do you refuſe
to believe a God upon greater?
Theo. What! Do you pretend the Motives that prove
a God are more cogent, than thoſe that prove Cæfar
has been?
Eufeb. I do: For not a tenth Part of the World has
ever heard of Cafar, and every Man from the firft Ori-
gin of Things, I fay, every Man that has been able to
difcourfe, to link together Antecedents and Confequences,
has
}
382 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
has confefs'd there is a fupream Being; fo that if we ap-.
peal to Number, and put the Iflue of the Controverſy to
Vote, the Being of a God carries the Day: As there is
not Proportion between the Authority that ftands for Ca-.
far, and that which ſtands for God; fo there can be no
Compaffion between the Certainty of one, and of the
other.
Befides, thoſe who atteft Cæfar has been, had no Inte-
reft to deny it; they got no more by his Being, than by
his not Being; the one did not advance their Fortune,
nor the other recoil it: But a confiderable part of thoſe
who avouch for a God, were intereſted in his not Being,
they were Men funk in Lewdnefs, and loft in Debauche-
ry, their Hands were dy'd in Blood, Rapine and Sacri-
lege, and their Hearts defil'd with the moſt crying Abo-
minations; they wifh'd there were no God, becauſe
they liv'd as if there were none; their Intereft voted
him down, yet their Judgments could not. The Rack
of their wounded .Confciences told them, there was a
God; and though they apprehended his Juftice, they had
not the Boldneſs to difown it: If therefore thofe Men
deſerve more Credit who ſpeak againſt their own Inte-
refts, than thoſe who do not, this fingle Circumſtance
makes the Being of God more certain than that of
Cafur.
Theo. There is Excedens and Exceffum; if we go to
polling, you may perchance gain the Suit, but if to Evi-
dence, the Caufe is mine. The Authority of a few built
on Evidence weighs ten times more than the Authority
of many deftitute of Reaſon. Thus the Cafe ftands be
tween you and me; more witnefs for God, than for
Cafar; but then the Authority of thofe who maintain a
God is fupported by Fancy alone and Caprice.
Eufeb. That is, all Men efpoufed the Belief of a God
without Reaſon. What! Can a Man affirm fuch an ama-
zing Impoffibility, and boggle at any Thing? A wiſe
Man may fometimes be impos'd on by fubtle Appear-
ances, he may grafp a Shadow for the Subftance, and
take counterfeit Reafon, as well as adulterate Coin: But
to fay all Mankind took up the Belief of a God on a
Frolick, without Reafon, nay, againft the Intereft of the
greater Part, is to fuppofe them ftruck at a clap with
the Spirit of Folly and Madneſs; 'tis to fuppofe them
irrational,
:
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 383
irrational, and by Inference, not Men; and what can
Fancy frame more prodigious, than that a Man of Parts
fhould believe this epidemical Lunacy without any
Ground or Reaſon. IfCaprice has fent about this Frolick;
if it has poſted it away to every Corner of the habitable
World; methinks we have right to expect it may play
little Pranks in things of another Nature. Why have
the Gentry never yet flung Tewksbury Mustard Balls into
their own Houſes, and tofs'd the Frenzy thro' the whole
Nation? Why have they never confpir'd the Ruin of
Vintners by withdrawing their Cuftom, or fupprefs'd the
Inns of Court by compofing Law Suits a l' amiable?
Could we fee Affociations carry on theſe petty Frolicks,
we might perchance have fome Inclination to think more
univerfal were poffible, but till you give me an Inftance,
you muſt pardon my Incredulity.
Now 'tis time to take into Confideration your pre-
tended Advantage: The Proofs for Cafar's Being are re-
folv'd, fay you, into the Evidence of Senfe, thoſe for
God's Exiftence are not; therefore the Authority that
ftands for Cafar, exceeds that which ſtands for God, in
the fame Proportion that Certitude drawn from the Per-
ceptions of Senfe, furpafles the Certitude taken from any
other Faculty.
Firft, Suppofing the Evidence which ſtands for Cafar
be greater, 'tis falfe Logick to conclude, that the Evi-
dence of a God, grounded on the moſt univerſal Confent
that ever was in the World, is infufficient to ſecure a
wife Man from Doubt: For certainly fomething below
fupream Evidence will fuffice; and if you will not grant
me this, it evidently follows, you can be fure of nothing
but what you fee; for the Experience of your own Eyes
is ten times more convincing than that of another, let
it be apply'd to you by the moſt full Authority that can
be imagin'd.
Secondly, You cannot refufe your Affent to the Exift-
ence of a God upon account that the univerfal Autho-
rity of Mankind is not founded on Senfation: For then
you undermine and blow up the Foundation of Atheiſm,
and apoftatize from Incredulity; for either you are an
Epicurean, or Ariftotelian Atheist, id eft, you believe the
World was compos'd by Chance of Atoms, or was ab
sterno: Take which you pleaſe; if the firſt, pray tell
{
me,
384 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
me, did you ever fee thoſe Atoms? Did you ever view
their Motion? Was you preſent when they danc'd the
Hay; or produc'd the World by a Turn of Barnaby ?
Did at leaſt either Epicurus or Democritus affure their
Scholars they faw this Scuffle? Can they tell us the
Names of their Generals; the Number of their Squa-
drons, or Battalions? How long the Conflict lafted? And
upon what Articles the Peace was agreed on? If the fe-
cond, I defire to know what ocular Certainty you have
of the World's Eternity; could any Man be prefent at
this ftrange Production before he was, id eft, could he
exift before Eternity? Theſe Things go down with
Atheists without chewing, without examen; they believe
'em, tho' no Body ever faw 'em, and what is yet more
admirable, without any Authority to recommend 'em,
nay, in fpite of Authority, and againſt the moſt evi-
dent Conviction of Reafon; but when the Queſtion is to
believe a God upon the univerfal Conſent of all Nations,
back'd with all the Force of Reaſon, they beg our Par-
don, they cannot captivate their Underſtanding to the
Belief of a thing that has never been feen? Is this to
build on Principles? Yet, without doubt, you treat
Principles as the Presbyterians did the Government in
Forty-Two, who pretended to fettle it on a ſtable Bot-
tom, yet fairly over-turn'd it.
Thirdly, Did you not tell me, you requir'd fuch Proofs
only for a God as the Matter was capable of? That he
muſt be a Fool or a Madman, that would not believe
there was fuch a Place as Conftantinople, unless it could
be demonſtrated by Mathematicks; or deny'd a God,
becauſe he did not fee him? For to believe the Being of
Conftantinople upon no other Terms than Demonftration,
or of God upon no Evidence but that of Senfe, is to
require a Conviction not poffible; for God cannot be
feen by a corporeal Eye, nor can the Being of Conftanti-
nople be evidenc'd by Euclid: So that the Authority for a
God cannot be enervated, becauſe it is not refolv'd into
Senſe: For fuppofe he did exift, and ftriv'd to manifeft
himſelf to Mankind, he never could expofe his Effence
to the Eye, fo that you muſt either fay fuch a corporeal
Teſtimony is not neceffary for a thorough Conviction of
his Being, or that his Omnipotency cannot fufficiently
manifeft it; take which you will; that cuts off your Re-
treat,
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 385
treat, and this plunges you into the Abyſs of Abſurdity
and Blafphemy.
Fourthly, Though Cafar was the Object of Senfe, this
Circumſtance cannot poffibly have any Influence on your
Belief: This ftands meerly on the Baſis of Authority;
for if I ask you, why you believe there was ſuch a Man
as Cæfar? You muft anfwer, becaufe Tully and others.
liv'd and convers'd with him: If I enquire farther, how
you know they liv'd and convers'd with him? You muſt
reply, becauſe they fay fo in their Writings: So that the
ultimate Motive of your Belief is their Authority, partly
deriv'd to you by their Books, partly by the concurring
Teftimony of intervening Ages; and this will appear
more palpably, if we fuppofe Tully and the reft of thofe
Authors, who tell us they were particularly acquainted
with Cæfar, in reality never knew him, and fo impos'd
on the next Age, which propagated the Cheat by a con-
tinual Tradition down to our Days: For ftill in this Hy-
pothefis you would believe there was fuch a Man as Cæfar.
Why? Becaufe you have the fame Authority; fo that
their feeing Cæfar, or not feeing him, has no Influence
on your Afcent, their Word and Credit alone fways your
Judgment.
But, Lastly, I fay that God hath been both feen and
heard, as much as a Spirit can poffibly be of thofe Senſes,
and fo the Authority of a God is not only of a farther
extent than that for Cefar, but it alfo leans on Reaſon;
and what makes moft for our prefent Purpoſe, on the
Evidence and Conviction of Senſe.
Theo. This indeed is a hardy Undertaking, and worthy
of fuch a Hero; if you bring it to a happy Conclufion,
you will undermine Atheism, or at leaft confound it:
But I doubt of the Succefs, and I fear your Enterprize
will vanifh into Mifcarriage.
Eufeb. For all that, Sir, I do not defpond: Your pro-
phetick Enthuſiaſm will prove in the End as fallible as
your Reaſons, and you will be as much out of your
Prognoftication, as your Philofophy.
I will not here infift upon all the Appearances God has
been pleas'd to make in this World, lince he created it:
I fingle out one, which Infidelity it felf muſt believe:
'Tis recorded in the 19th Chapter of Exodus, and hap-
pen'd three Months after that miraculous Delivery of the
Chil-
Сс
386 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Children of Ifrael from the Servitude of the Egyptians.
I do not pretend to impofe this Book on your Belief, as
the Word of God; you might then perchance accufe
me of your own Faults, and fay I only prove the Thefis by
begging the Queſtion in Debate: Take it as a Story, and
fling it not among the Fables, till you have prov'd it one.
When the Hoft of Ifrael, fays Mofes, came into the
Defart of Sina, it encamp'd in the fame place, juſt againſt
the Mountain; then God commanded Mofes to tell the
People, that within three Days he would defcend upon
the Mountain, and talk to the Army: The third Day the
Clouds began to gather, Thunder roar'd, Lightning flaſh'd,
and celeftial Trumpet ftruck all the Army with Fear and
Amazement; then God came down in the Shape of
Fire, and the whole Mountain open'd a Scene of Terror
the Army trembled, and all the Jews funk under the aw-
ing Majefty of their Creator; they heard his Voice, they
faw the Flames that environ'd him, they were both daz-
zled and frighted with his Glory, and fo deputed Mofes to
know his Will, and to receive his Commands: He took
his Brother Aron, and Seventy-two others, who all faw
the God of Ifrael; he trod on a Footstool compos'd of
Sapphires like a ferene Sky. This is in Subftance the
Narration of Mofes, and the Circumſtances of this glori-
ous Apparition: It could not be a Trick of State to
fright the Mabile into Obedience, no fubtle Invention
contriv'd in a Clofet, or refolv'd on at a Counſel-Table;
here was no acting under Board, or out of Sight, three
Millions of Men were Spectators, and that they might
not afterwards take it for a Dream, or fufpect it for Illu-
fion, it continu'd many Days; fo that they had time for
Examen and Criticifm.
Now I argue thus; there was, you fay, fuch a Man
as Cafar, and you believe it, becauſe that Tradition,
which conveys down to you this Truth, is refolv'd into
Senfe, which cannot be deceiv'd; but a more univerſal
Tradition conveys down to us the Being of a God, and
this may be alfo refolv'd into Senfe; therefore the Autho-
rity for a God is greater than that for Cafar; therefore,
if upon Authority refolv'd into Senfe, you believe there
was fuch a Man as Cæfar, upon a more univerfal Autho-
rity reſolv❜d alfo into Senfe, you may and ought to believe
there is a God.
Theo
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
387
Theo. I ſuppoſe, if there be a God, he is neither Smoak
nor Fire; if then thofe old Gentlemen faw Smoak and
Fire only, they could not fee God; nay, he is neither
made of Sapphires, nor falls under Shape or Figure.
Eufeb. What does this Anſwer prove, but that Atheiſts
ufe their Reaſon to abuſe it? You cry out for Evidence
of Senfe, I fend you to Mofes for Satisfaction, you read
a Piece of the 19th Chapter, fhut the Book, and then
with great Coolneſs tell me, the Ifraelites faw not God,
but Fire and Smoak; and 'tis true; but God was under
that Fire and Smoak; he has no Organs, yet fram'd a
Voice; and how will you have him manifeft himſelf to
Senfe, but by fomething that lies within the Sphere of
Senfe? Alas, Sir, a Spirit is too thin to entertain our
Eyes or Ears, 'tis removed out of their Ken; "the one
faftens on Colours, and the other on Sound, and both
bring us Intelligence from Matter: If fuch Evidence will
not fatisfy you, all I can fay is, Atheiſts are a ftubborn.
Generation, and nothing but Hell-Fire will render themt
fupple; we may pray for them indeed, but cannot hope
to convert them.
But, Sir, thofe Gentlemen who convers'd with Cæfar,
what did they fee?
Theo. What ſhould they fee but Cæfar?
Eufeb. Was Cæfar a Subſtance, or a Complex of Ac-
cidents?
Theo. You have left the Pulpit to fit in the Chair of
the Scorner; becauſe you cannot reafon me into an Im-
pertinence, you will try to laugh me into one. Well,
Cefar was a Subſtance, as we are.
Eufeb. I fuppofe he was neither Colour nor Sound.
Theo. That is certain.
Eufeb. And pray what have you ever feen but Colour;
or what have you ever heard but Sound? By your own
Confeffion, therefore, Cæfar has neither been feen or
heard: So that we are ftill upon pretty equal Terms. I
do not fay this Compariſon runs on all Four, there may
be found fome Difparity, but it will not invalidate the
Retortion: For I find no Difference, but that thofe Ac-
cidents Cæfar appear'd under, were natural to him,
whereas thofe that invefted the Divinity were not.
Theo. Pray fatisfy a Doubt or two; the Story is ftale,
and being tofs'd about three thoufand Years, probably
Ccz
loft
388
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
loft nothing. Again, this ſtrange Paffage might be foiſted
into the Text by a crafty Rabbi; and in Time, what
Afurance have you the Fact is true?
Eufeb. First, The Story is ancient; true: But then Anti-
quity and Truth are not I hope incompatible; though Pi-
ctures may miſreprefent by Nearness or Diſtance, Hiftory
has no fuch nice Point as Profpective: If it had, Atheiſm
would lie under no favourable Circumftances, it would
have no Play for it felf, no, not the Skirmiſh of Atoms,
or the World's eternal Duration: For without doubt,
the Battle between theſe invifible Legions was fought be-
fore Mofes's Days; and then 'tis pretty clear, Eternity is
of a ftaler Date than Exodus: If therefore the Antiquity
of the Story startles your Belief, the Relation of the
World's Beginning by the fortuitous Coition of Atoms,
or its independent Exiſtence from Eternity puzzles mine:
'Tis ridiculous and unreafonable to except againſt a Fact
or Book, meerly becauſe they are ancient; for if the
Exception be receivable, you muft fling up all Right to
your Cefar, we muft fhake Hands with Livy, giving up
Plutarch, and confine our Reading as well as Credit to
now Almanacks or Gazettes.
Again, a Fact that has brav'd Time, that has ftood the
Criticifm of four thousand Years, and triumph'd over all
the Examens of intervening Ages, carries a certain Air of
Truth, that makes Impreffion on the moſt obdurate Un-
derſtanding; whereas upftart Facts are rather examin'd
by Paffion than Reaſon, they are maintain'd and deny'd
by oppofite Interefts; both fides raiſe a Duft, and then
in the Dark 'tis hard to diftinguiſh Truth from Falfhood.
The very Story I mention'd has ſharpened the Pens and
exercis'd the Wits of all Ages; all thofe Pagan Philofo-
phers that entred the Lifts againft Chriftianity, firſt ſtruck
at the Pentateuch, they aim'd at the Jewish Law, to wound
that of Jefus Chrift; but their Attempts were baulk'd,
they fell in the Enterprize; and when they could not diſ-
prove the Fact, they blacken'd it, and afcribed that to
the Power of Magick, which could only be the Effect of
the Omnipotent. You have the Liberty to fteer by
their Example, you may father this Apparition on the
Devil, but then what will you gain but Confufion? For
if you admit a Devil directly, you grant a God by Illa-
tion; a Devil and a God are in a manner Correlatives.
Το
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
389
To the ſecond; if this Apparition might be foifted in
by a crafty Rabbi, by the fame Reafon all thofe Paffages
in ancient Authors, where Cafar is mention'd, might have
been foifted in alfo; fo that if a bare Poflibility has Force
againſt me, it has as much againſt you: Befides, if we
confider the Care the Jews took to avoid fuch Surpriſes,
we may be morally affur'd, no Corruption, no Alterati
on could poffibly be contriv'd: Twelve Copies were ta-
ken for the Twelve Tribes, then every Tribe drew as
many more, as there were particular Synagogues in each
Tribe; nor was this Task committed to the Care of pri-
vate Copies, but to Notaries, Scribes, and Overſeers ap-
pointed by publick Authority; when every Copy was re-
view'd by the whole Congregation, 'twas laid up in the
Treaſury of the Temple, under divers Locks, nor was it
lawful for any without Commiffion to touch them: Be-
fides, to obviate Falfifications, the Laws of the Land pu-
nifh'd with preſent Death thoſe who fhould dare to add,
to diminiſh, alter, or corrupt the facred Text: What can
fecure a Book more against Corruption, than fo great a
Circumfpection, fo great a Caution? Or can you prove
that any profane Hiſtorian was fenced fo ftrongly againſt
the Affaults of Time; or the Miſtakes of Ignorance or
Malice?
To the third; I have all the Affurance the Fact is true,
as the thing is capable of, without a ſpecial Revelation:
It was not acted in Darknefs, but in the Sight of three
Millions of Men: This Spectacle mixt with Terror and
Majeſty, did not flaſh by, like a Lightning, but continu-
ed many Days; fo that the People laid not under a Sur-
prife, but had time to call all things to a cool Exa-
men: Again, this Apparition mov'd them to receive a
Law clog'd with Ceremonies, and fill'd with Precepts:
We may eafily fufpect the Prefence of their Mafter ra-
ther forc'd them to accept it, than their Inclination, and
that they fubmitted to the Yoak with Regret, becaufe
they caft it off in a Moment. Now what three Millions
faw and heard, Mofes committed to Writing; then he
read the whole Law to the People, who fwore to obey
it: From thefe Spectators, partly by written Tradition,
and partly by oral, we have receiv'd the Fact; fome
have defended the Truth of the whole Book with their
Blood, and the moſt learned Men of the World with
Cc 3
their
390
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
their Pens. What greater Proof can, not Reafon only,
but Obftinacy require? Compare the Certainty you have.
of Cæfar, with the Evidence I have brought for this, and
you will find it inferior: Three Millions faw God and
heard him, not half that Number had a Sight of Cæfar, in
all Probability, and as few ever heard his Voice: The
Authority for the one, is at leaft as great, as that for the
other: No Man had any Intereft to deny Cæfar, a thou-
fand to deny the Books of Mofes, that have endeavour'd
to fupprefs, and confute them. Emperors have pointed
the Pagan Arguments with Swords, Racks, and the Hor-
ror of moſt cruel Torments, yet Chriftians, without Num-
ber, have rather expos'd their Bodies to the Flames, than
thoſe Books to the Fury of Executioners; they choſe ra-
ther to loſe their Lives, than deny thoſe Truths they con-
tain'd: Now muft not thoſe People be pretty fure who
prove Truths with their Blood? who defend Facts, not
with a Syllogifm, but the Torture; and preſs home their
Arguments with Suffering? This way of Difpute per-
chance may not agree with your Temper, and, I be-
lieve, you would rather deliver up your Cafar, than hang
for him; but however, you may meaſure the Value other
Men put on their Lives, by the Price you rate your own
at; and you may conclude, they would never part with
them without good Reafon, and an urgent Neceffity:
In fine, we may fafely prefume the Fact is true, becauſe
all Antiquity has thought fo, and 'tis Madneſs to oppoſe
our Paffion, or Reaſon againſt the Reaſon of the Chriftian
World.
Theo. You grant fome have queftion'd thofe Books,
and by confequence the Fact in Controverfy; but no
Body has been fo abandon'd of common Senfe, as to ſtart
a Doubt about the Being of Cafar; therefore if a Fact
never queſtion'd be more certain than one that has been
controverted, in fpight of all your Arguments, 'tis more.
certain there was fuch a Man as Cæfar, than that God ap-
pear'd to the People of Ifrael.
Eufeb. The queſtioning the Fact does not take off
from its Certainty; unlefs the Motives on which it ſtands
be found doubtful and weak upon Trial. Is the Poffibi-
lity of Motion lefs certain becaufe Zeno deny'd it? Is
this Principle, quid libet eft vel non eft, leſs evident, be-
cauſe ſome doting Philofophers abjur'd it? Are you temp-
ted
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 391
ted to fay, Snow is black, becauſe a Fool affirm'd it?
No, Sir In fpight of thofe filly Coxcombs, theſe things
ftand ftill upon their antient Bottom; and will, till Men
pull out their Eyes, or turn off their Reafon. If the Be-
ing of Cæfar has never been brought to Examen, 'tis be-
cauſe Mankind has no Intereft in him: Whether he was,
or was not, brings no Alteration into the World; things.
go on after the fame Method in either Hypotheſis: And
though indeed he made fome Figure eighteen hundred
Years ago, he makes none at prefent, but on the Stage:
But fhould a Gentleman put in Claim to fome Eftate in
Vertue of a Grant from Julius Cæfar, our Lawyers
would not only plead Preſcription againſt it, but prove by
the Statutes even of William the Third, his famous Ex-
pedition into Britanny was the pure Invention of Recu-
fants, Enemies to the Government; nay, that the very
Perfon is Fiction, Impofture and Defign. 'Tis more cer-
tain there was fuch a Man as Cæfar, than that God ap-
pear'd to the People of Ifrael.
A Gentleman in fome Diſorder fetching up a great Sigh:
Alas, Sir, faid he to Eufebius! What do you mean? Why'
raiſe you Ghoſts from the other World to haunt poor
Creatures, and have no Power to conjure them down?
Muft our Torment make up your Diverfion? Can't
you be pleas'd unleſs we are frighted? Nor at eaſe unleſs
we groan upon the Torture? The moft happy Life de-
ferves rather Pity than Envy; and what we can procure
by a thouſand Cares, is only to render our felves lefs mi-
ferable: Why then do Divines continually importune us
with ſtrange Diſcoveries of another World? Why damp
they our Pleaſure with Stories of Hell; and terrify our
Imagination with ghaftly Landskips of a tormenting E-
ternity? Either prove thefe amazing Tenets fo clearly
that we cannot deny them, or promife Silence that we
may not hear them. Your Arguments raife Doubts, but
cannot quell them; they alarm my Fears, but have not
the Power to diffipate them.
Alas! Sir, reply'd Eufebius, what would the Silence
of Divines avail, unless you could gag Nature, and
filence your Confcience? Tho' you flie from the Com-
merce of Men; tho' you mew your felf up in Rocks and
Dens, the very Stones proclaim his Being; the Winds
whiſper it, and Solitude protefts you are within God's
Cc 4
Domi-
392
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Dominion. Omnes homines vident Deum; the very Blind
fee him, and the Deaf hear him.
'Tis ftrange, anfwer'd the Gentleman, that fo many.
flaſhing Wits in the Court and Town fhould overlook
fo long this Divinity, which ftands before them. Muft
they put out their Eyes to fee him; or turn Fools to find
him?
I doubt not, faid Eufebius, but White-Hall and Ken-
Jington are well ftock'd with Wits. I grant the Town
is not unprovided; but then I maintain their Blindneſs
proves a God, and that Infidelity is a juft Puniſhment of
their Crimes. For make a Survey of all thofe Wits, and
you will find them not only without Grace, but almoſt
without Confcience. So foon as their Reaſon bloom'd,
they proſtituted their Innocence, and fhew'd they were
Men by acting like Devils. As Alexander counted the
Battles he fought by the Wounds he receiv'd; fo thefe
may calculate up the Moments of their Lives by the
Enormities they commit: Every Action affronts Nature,
and cries aloud for Vengeance. If therefore there be an
Author of Nature, is it not juſt he ſhould take the Cauſe
of Nature in Hand, and revenge the Injury on thoſe that
did it? And what more terrible Revenge can he take,
than to ftrike thoſe blafphemous Salmoneans, thoſe im-
pure Sardanapalus's as he did the Sodomites, with the Spi-
rit of Blindneſs? Percuffit eos cœcitate à minimo ufque ad
maximum: Then to withdraw the Light of his divine
Face from their Eyes, and fo to permit them to walk in
Darkness and Ignorance, and then only to acknowledge
their Errors, when they feel the Puniſhment of their
Crimes?
Now that their Infidelity cannot proceed either from
want of Motives, or of Wit, 'tis pretty evident. They
have the Confent of Mankind, id eft, of Nature: They
have the Confeffion of their Confciences from within,
the Teſtimony of every Creature from without. Theſe
glare fuch a Light on the moſt ſtupid Underſtanding,
that they cannot refift the Force of the Impreffion. Your
First-rate Wits of the Court examine, you fay, all thoſe
Arguments; they contemplate the great World, and the
lefs; they turn up every Stone, ranfack every Corner of
the Univerſe, without being able to diſcover any Traces
of a Deity. What can you infer, but that there is a God
above,
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
393
above, who takes an Inventory of the Actions of the
Children of Men, who puniſhes their Rapines, their Im-
purities and Blafphemies here by confounding their Judg-
ments, who cafts fuch a Gloom over their Underſtand-
ings, that they can't fee what Children difcern; that they
grope in Darknefs, whilft they walk in Light, and call out
for Proofs of his Being, whilft they are furrounded, and
almoft opprefs'd with Demonftrations? In a Word, Sir,
do not conclude there is no God, becauſe the topping Ge-
nius's of the Court do not fee him; fay rather there is
one, becauſe they do not fee what all the World, both
civiliz❜d and unciviliz'd, fee and adore; fay their Igno-
rance is a juſt Puniſhment of their fcandalous and pro-
voking Offences, and that the only way left thefe aban-
don'd Debauchees to come to the Knowledge of a God,
is to take off the Curfe by flying to Repentance.
He was going on, but Theomachus interrupted him;
'tis time, faid he, to found a Retreat, we have been this
Morning on hot Service; after fome Civilities Eufebius
left the Company, and the next Day took up again the
Conference, which continu'd fome Days.
DIALOGUE XVI.
The fecond Proof drawn from the Existence of the World,
which by unquestionable Authority is fhewn to have been
made.
Eufeb. Have prov'd the Exiſtence of a God from the
1
innate Characters of his Being, ftamp'd on the
Hearts of Men; I come now to a fecond Proof, which he
has laid before our Eyes, that he might convince our
Senfes as well as our Reaſon, and manifeft himſelf by
his Works to the incredulous, feeing he cannot appear in
Perfon. We fee a moft ftately Fabrick call'd the World,
vaft in Extent, and admirable for Beauty: The Earth is
ftock'd with innumerable Beafts, the Air with Birds, the
Sea with Fifhes; fome feem made meerly for Man's
Profit, others for his Pleafure, and many for Oftentation.
The Firmament glitters with a thoufand Luminaries,
their Bulk vies with their Luftre, and their Beauty with
both:
394
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
both: The Sun dazzles us with his Glory, and over-powers
our feeble Eyes with an Exceſs of Majefty; it's the grand
Arbitrator of Time; it divides Moments into Ages, Years,
Months and Days, it regulates Seafons, prefcribes bounds
to Winter, and limits to Summer, and by its Acceſs and
Recefs makes 'em. The Moon with her bright Legions of
Stars, that ſpangle the Firmaments, gilds Darkneſs, and
filvers over thofe Shades of Horror, and fo turns Night
it felf into a Theatre of Pleafure: But what raiſes my
Amazement is, that this gigantick Machine is compos'd
of almoſt infinite Parts; yet all are fo artificially con-
triv'd, that one fits exactly the other; nay, they are en-
dow'd with contrary Inclinations, they are always at va-
riance, they draw into the Field one against the other,
yet thoſe particular Feuds hinder not an univerfal Peace,
nor thofe private Difcords a general Harmony. Now,
Sir, I aſk you from whence this glorious Piece of Archi-
tecture came? Who laid the Foundations of the Earth?
Who rais'd the towring Mountains, and hung thoſe vaſt
refplendent Bodies of the Sun, Moon, and Stars in thoſe
liquid Regions above? Who azur'd the Firmament?
Who enamel'd the Meadows with a thouſand different
Flowers, that embalm the Air, raviſh the Sky, and per-
fume the Smell?
Theo. Indeed the World is a lovely Fabrick, and the
Contrivance feems admirable, ſo that ſome have father'd
the Work upon an infinite Wiſdom: I confefs this Opi-
nion is more plaufible than true; it goes down with the
unthinking Vulgar, yet Men who hate to take things up-
on Truft, who ftick not on outward Appearances, but
follow Effects up to their Origin, are of a different Sen-
timent.
Some fay it caus'd it felf; but, methinks, this is a
Piece of the rudeſt Nonfenfe that ever was invented, it
makes a thing act before it was, and gives a Being before
it had any; nay, it ſuppoſes a thing to be, and not to
be, the fame Inftant; and fo allows of a Contradiction,
which is to out-ſhoot Abſurdity it ſelf.
Others are inclin'd to Epicurus's and Democritus's Sy-
ftem; thefe fay the Matter is eternal, which having an
infinite Space to ſupport it, began to fcour about, and
after a thouſand Encounters by a moft happy Cafualty,
chop'd upon this regular Frame: Indeed a Man muft be
of
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
395.
of a very credulous Complexion, that can ſwallow this
Folly; 'tis to lofe time to enter upon a Confutation :
Methinks, fometimes we might fee Books compos'd by
Chance, as well as this great Folio of the World; and
Pictures alſo may ftart up by ſprinkling the Colours at
random.
+
Others, in fine, maintain the World is eternal a fen
without any other Cauſe but its own Nature; 'tis a ne-
ceffary Being, and independent; and as it had no Begin-
ning, fo it can never have an End: 'Tis in vain to run
after a Cauſe diſtinct from its own Nature, it is its own
Architect and Work, the one is the fame with the other.
"To theſe Philofophers I give my Approbation, this is my
Sentiment; you have liberty to bring your Exceptions
againſt it.
Eufeb. I fay the World was made in Time, an infinite
Being drew it out of the State of pure Poffibility, and
plac'd it in that of Actuality: His Power ftretch'd out
the Heavens, and ſpread a Canopy of Azure, embroi-
dered with Stars, over the Earth: Wifdom contriv'd the
Parts, and with a ftupendious Artifice put them together:
His Goodneſs prompted him to communicate himſelf to
a Multitude of Creatures; his Prudence mark'd out the
Employment of every Part of the Creation; it affign'd
them their Work, and appointed them their Stations.
Suppofing there was a God, this Account would be very
reaſonable, for this great Work would not exceed the
Skill of the Workman, infinite in Wiſdom, Power and
Goodneſs.
Now the prefent Controverfy can be decided only by
two Ways; either by Authority or Reaſon. If therefore
Authority ſtands by me, and not at all for you; if folid
Reaſon takes my Side, and wholly abandons yours; and
if befides you are not only deferted by Reafon, but prefs'd
by thofe very Difficulties, or greater, you oppugn me
with, I hope you will be fo juft to Reaſon and your felf,
as to come over to Truth, and to confefs and adore that
God you now deny. Let me therefore afk you, is your
own Opinion back'd with Authority?
Theo. I confefs the Authority is not full nor cogent,
yet all Ages have furniſh'd Men, who flood up for the
World's Eternity: Neither indeed ought we to put the
Iflue of the Caufe upon Authority, in fuch an endles
Series
396 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Series of Ages, many unforeſeen and unavoidable Acci-
dents may eafily have interrupted the Courſe of Tradi-
tion, as Plagues and Inundations, which without doubt
have more than once almoft depeopled the World, and
turn'd it into a Solitude: Befides, want of Tradition for
the World's Eternity rather proves it was eternal than
not: For if the World was always peopled, there could
be no common Spring from whence the Tradition, ſhould
firſt rife, and then ſpread over the Univerſe.
Eufeb. I grant the World's Eternity may have found
Abetters in moft Ages, but their Authority is infuffici-
ent; there were a certain kind of Fanatick Philofophers
like our Atheiſts, who liv'd on Fancy, and open'd by
Imagination; they examin'd Facts by Caprice, and found-
ed their Tenets on meer Conjectures, but yet their Opi-
nion favours not yours. For tho' Ariftotle was a great
Stickler for the World's Eternity, and, as he confeffes, the
first of all Philofophers that broach'd the Whim; yet he
acknowledges it was made by God, and flowed from his
Power, as Light from the Sun; yet this Hypothefis feem'd
fo oppofite to the receiv'd Opinion of all Greece, that an
Action of Blafphemy was brought in againſt him, Conimb.
1. 8. Phyfic. c. 2. quod unum Deum docuiffet contra Pa-
trios ritus de Idolis & multitudine Deorum, quod Mun-
dum fempiternum enunciâffet, quem initio Temporis con-
ditum tota Grecia putabat: And the Epicureans who held
the Matter eternal, thought it far more confonant to Rea-
fon, to leave the rare Contrivance and Diſpoſition of the
World to Chance, which finiſh'd and put the laft Hand
to this admirable Architecture in Time, than to afcribe
its Origin to any inherent Independency,
Si nulla fuit Genitalis Origo
Ferrarum & Cali, femperq; æterna fuere,
Cur fupra bellum Thebanum & funera Troje
Non alias alii quoq; res cecinere Poeta.
Thus an Epicurean Poet.
And I think I may defy you to produce one ancient Phi-
lofopher, one Man of Senfe that ever durft take upon him
the Defence of your Thefis; and yet we ſcarce find any
other Abfurdity without an Advocate; but to clap Inde-
pendency on a Being, whofe Perfections are confin'd, feems
too
•
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 397
too monſtrous an Enterprize to wife Men, fo contrary
to the first Principles of Reafon, that they durft not un-
dertake it. You do therefore well to put your Cauſe
upon Reaſon, for you muſt loſe it, if you ftand to the
Verdict of Tradition: Indeed, as you fay, if the World
had been eternal, the Memory of its Eternity might
have been buried in an endleſs Series of Revolutions
and Succeffors; but what does this prove? Only what
might have happen'd, not what really is to come to
país.
What you fay is true, viz. that if the World was al-
ways peopled, there could not poffibly be any common
Spring from whence the Tradition fhould firſt riſe, and
therefore no Tradition for the World's Eternity can be
expected; this, I fay, tho' fuppos'd true, can avail you.
nothing againſt a poſitive Tradition that the World was
made and had a Beginning.
Theo. And how do you make it out?
Eufeb. As paft Matters of Fact are made out, viz. by
Hiſtory: And in the firft place Ariftotle quoted above,
does acknowledge that the moſt ancient Writers held the
World was made, and that Tradition did confirm Peo-
ple in the Perfuafion, that God made all Things: The
Scythians and Egyptians were of this Opinion, the Indians
and Phenicians concurr'd with them, to fay nothing of
the Grecians who look'd upon the contrary Opinion as
Innovation, nay, and a kind of Herefy or Blafphemy.
And if we take a turn into America, if we enter the
Forefts and Wilderneffes of this vaft Region, we ſhall
find the Peruvians and other Barbarians of this Sentiment ;
indeed ſome had very extravagant Notions of the Crea
tion, but what can be expected from Men half turn'd
Beafts, but Extravagance? Yet they concurr'd with us in
this, that God fram'd and modelled the World.
Secondly, The firft Hiftorian, and as authentick as ever
writ, gives a long Account of the World's Beginning in
Genefis. I do not intend to put this Book upon you as
divinely infpir'd, give it but the Credit of a Hiftory; this
I only afk, and this you cannot refuſe with Juftice, fee-
ing he has been efteem'd by the Jews and Chriſtians,
not only as a Divine Hiftorian and Legiflator, but alſo as
a Prophet.
Now
398
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Now fuppofing the World was created, 'tis natural
to think the firft Man would leave his Children, and
thoſe to their Poſterity a Tradition of fo remarkable a
Tranfaction; nor could this Conveyance be hard, eſpe-
cially when in the World's Non-age, three Men alone,
Methusalem, Shem, and Ifaac could carry on a Tradition
from the World's Creation almoft to the Ifraelites De-
fcent into Egypt.
Again, fuppofing fuch a Tradition, it might be expect-
ed the firſt Writers fhould put it on Record. Now, this
has happened; Mofes the first Historiographer has deſcend-
ed to Particulars; and as his Narration is reaſonable, fo
withal it carries a certain Simplicity that perfuades. Be-
rofus, Orpheus, Homer and Trismegiftus follow'd Moſes in
Age, as alfo in the Delivery of the World's Beginning :
What they receiv'd from their Predeceffors, they handed
down to their Succeffors, and by this means the Opinion
that the World had a Beginning carries all before it:
The whole Body of Chriftians believe it, the Mahome-
tans and Jews, though they vary from us in other Points,
agree with us in this; and all Nations whoever acknow-
ledg'd a God, own he was the Contriver of this great
Mafter-Piece of Power and Wiſdom.
Now to go againſt the Tide of Tradition, fo ancient,
fo univerfal, and withal fo rational, upon no other
Ground but meer Conjectures, or bare Poffibilities, is
Raſhneſs to excefs, and the very height of Folly; 'tis to
prefer the Reaſon of one Man before that of all Man-
kind, to brand his whole Species with the Infamy of a
fond Credulity, and to pafs Judgment upon them, that
they are throughly qualified for Bethlem.
But again, if fo full a Report will not fatisfy you,
you muſt pen up your Knowledge in a narrow part of
the World, you muſt forfwear not only all Acquaintance
with paft Actions, but even with remote; and what is
worſe, you muſt fall below that Station a Creature en-
dued with Reaſon ought to keep: For when Reaſon
gives me as great a Satisfaction about the Being, or not
Being of a Fact, as Reafon requires, 'tis Imprudence to
doubt: And a Man muſt take Pleaſure to fret and dif-
oblige his Underſtanding, that will not acquiefce to fuch
an Evidence. Now our prefent Controverfy is a paſt
Matter of Fact: We have put it upon Witneffes: Anti-
quity
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
399
quity ſtands for me; and all Nations agree in the Main,
though they vary in fome Circumftances. To theſe con-
current Teftimonies you oppofe naked Surmiſes, or pure
Poffibilities; or else you fubpoena a Brace or two of Atheiſts,
or a Pack of African and American Brutes, who are
fcarce able to underſtand the very State of the Queſtion,
and know as little of paft Tranſactions as of thoſe that
are to come. I now appeal to your own Judgment, whe-
ther a full Tradition be not as good a Conviction, that
the World had a Beginning, as the Nature of a thing
paſt requires? And whether your Counter-Witneffes,
who depofe on Conjecture, would biafs an upright Judge
in any Court of Judicature, againſt a Cloud of others
Superior both in Wifdom and Probity.
Befides, I add another Circumftance very material,
and which deferves a little Reflection. If the World
had been made in Time, by the Power and Wiſdom of
God, we could not expect a more full Tradition of its
Beginning than we have: Therefore on this very Ac-
count we have all the Reafon to prefume it had a Begin-
ning. I prove it thus; First, It cannot be imagin'd, but
fome would ſtand up against it. Mens Judgments are
as various as their Faces, and their Underſtandings feem
no leſs bizar than their Humours. Some deny things,
becauſe every one believes them. They love Singularity
in Opinion, as well as in Modes, and will no more en-
dure a Rival in Thinking, than in their Amours. Others
are of a martial Complexion, they love to fend their
Brain upon Expeditions, and are temerarious enough to
attack Demonftration. They follow Truth, as Con-
ftables do Malefactors, to arreft it, and rail againſt it, as
the young Athenian did againſt Alcibiades, becaufe every
one applauded him; they idolize Wit, but are ignorant
of its Definition, and fo, like Dray-men, place it in clafh-
ing and contradicting. Others fteer their Judgments by
the Compafs of Intereft: One would think their Under-
ſtandings had truck'd Natures with the Will, and that it
had remov'd its Lodgings from the Head to the Heart.
Whatever flatters thefe Mens Vanity, or pampers their
Inclinations, is always true; but if it frowns upon their
Paffions, or checks their Liberty, it muſt be falfe. Hence
it comes that thofe Truths that even flaſh Conviction,
and captivate Reaſon, the very Moment they are under-
ſtood
·
400
The GENTLEMAN İnftruïted.
ſtood, oftentimes find Oppofition, and are ſtigmatiz'd
with Fallacy, becauſe too clear to be prov'd. One would
think that the Part is less than the Whole is pretty plain,
and that a Man must have a flender Portion of Wit, not
to conceive it; yet a late Mathematician call'd it in Que-
ftion, degraded it from the Quality of a Principle, and
threw it amongft the Fry of vulgar Errors. 'Tis impoffi-
ble to frame a Propofition more clear than this, It's im
poffible the fame fhould both be, and not be at the fame Time.
Yet if we believe Ariftotle, fome Philofophers deny it;
and that no Folly might want a Patron, as I have ſaid al-
ready, Zeno would not admit Motion. Now if Men dif-
believe first Principles, if they reject Truth when it ap-
pears in difhabile, and overlook it when it ſtands before
them; what Wonder they don't fee it at a Diſtance,
when it appears by Proxy, and is conveyed only to us
by Tradition? If we will not credit our own Eyes, we
may very well flight Authority, for certainly they are able
to give a more exact Account of Things, than Traditi-
on: They difcover Truth in Perfon; we receive not
their Intelligence at fecond-hand, but fee Objects in
their proper Colours, without Maſk or Varnifh. Tho'
therefore the World was made, we could not expect
(without a Miracle) a more univerfal Tradition, than
we have of its Beginning.
Secondly, Nor ought the fabulous Opinions about the
Creation to prejudice the Truth of the Fact; for fuppofing
it true, thofe would have fprung neceffarily from the grofs
Ignorance of Barbarians: When a Story has paft through
two or three Hands, how unlike is it to the Original?
Every one fhapes it to his own Inclination: Some Cir-
cumftances are loft, others added; and nothing remains,
but the Effential: If a Truth be diſguiſed in a Day, we
muſt not wonder it ſuffers Alteration in the Space of fix
thouſand Years; efpecially among thofe Nations who are
ignorant of Letters, who are bred in Ignorance, and live
in Brutality, who know no more of Time paft, than
of foreign Countries, and take as little Pains to cultivate
their Underſtanding, as their Soil.
Theo. But by your leave I could fingle you out fome
Traditions of a very ancient Date, and of far lefs Con-
fequence than the World's Creation, that pafs current
without Oppofition; for Example, who ever denied
there
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 401
there were fuch Men as Alexander or Cæfar? Now if the
World had a Beginning, why fhould not the Memory of
fo wonderful a Fact remain as univerfal as that of Cæfar
or Alexander ?
Eufeb. First, If we went to polling, I believe thoſe
who ftand for the World's Creation would carry it, for
this is acknowledged by a hundred Nations that never
heard of thoſe two Princes.
Secondly, If none have endeavoured to out-face the
World, that there never were fuch Men, 'tis becauſe the
Conteſt was too infignificant; and befides, which way
fhould a Man ſet upon the Enterprize? He could expect
no Relief from Reafon. For alas! All the reafon in the
World can never fhew they were, or were not: He
could therefore only have Recourfe to Tradition, and
where could he find any Pretence to ſet on foot ſo much
as an innuendo they never were; unless he could hit up-
on an Expedient to feize all the Records, that mention.
thofe Emperors, and then condemn them to the Fire?
But it was the Intereft of all Atheiſts to deny the World
ever had a Beginning. Nay, 'twas abfolutely impoffible
for them to admit Creation, and reject a Creator; and
then that Principle, ex nihilo nihil fit, was a great Sup-
port, not only to Atheiſts, but Philofophers; and no
doubt, if that Principle be true, the Matter at leaſt may
be eternal. Here you fee that Intereft might move ſome,
and apparent Reafon others, to ftand for the World's
Eternity, but neither could invite a Man to queſtion ei-
ther Alexander or Cafar.
To fum up therefore the Force of my Argument in
fhort: I fay, our Controverfy muft be tried either by
Teftimony or Reaſon, the firſt is the proper Court for
pronouncing upon ancient Facts, and the moft uncorrupt
Tribunal. I have prov'd that the Torrent of Tradition
runs for me; that the moſt antient Writers, as well as
the most recent; the moſt learn'd, as well as the moſt
pious; the moft polifh'd Nations, with the moft incult,
witneſs for me.
Whereas none but a Pack of Atheiſts,
or fome wild Barbarians, or at moft a Brace of whimfi-
cal Philofophers, famous for nothing but Singularity,
dare appear in your Defence. If fuch an Evidence be
not fufficient to prove a Fact, pray tell me what is? If
you require more, I must conclude you are unreafonable;
Dd
becaule
402
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
4.
becauſe you call for a greater Conviction than the Sub-
ject will bear, or can be cxpected without Miracle; and
I fuppofe Miracles would as little befriend your Cauſe as
Tradition.
DIALOGUE XVII.
The Atheist fuppofing the World's Eternity, fuppofes an in-
finite Series of Generations poffible; now it being ten
times more probable, that fuch a Series is impoffible, be
must be guilty of the highest Imprudence to `venture his
Soul upon fuch an Uncertainty.
THE World, you fay, was poffible ab æterno a ſe;
therefore it was ab æterno a fe. I affirm it was not
poffible ab æterno a fe; therefore it was not ab æterno a fe.
Our Pofitions are contradictory, and fo are our Proofs;
for you barely affert and prove Nothing, and I will prove
by Reafon what I affert.
Theo. Before you proceed, let me defire you not to
meddle with Infinitum. Though you raiſe a hundred Bat-
teries against infinite Succeffions, you'll only go off with
Labour and Diſappointment. Your Philofophers have
undertaken my Defence on that Side, and I know not
how you'll ſtorm their Reaſons, or level their Authority.
Yet, till this be done, there's no coming at me: There-
fore I counſel you not to raiſe your Battery on that Side.
Eufeb. I confefs the Pride of fome Philofophers, and
the litigious Humours of others, have been kind to Athe-
ifts: For in Reality, Philofophy is no more a Science,
but an Art of Jugling. Philofophers queft more after
new Opinions than Truth: And he is the Man, not
that fearches into the Bowels of Nature, but that dreffes
and tricks up Notions in the beſt Poſture of Defence a-
gainſt Oppofers; and if he can handfomely embroil a Que-
- ftion, or dares offer Words for a folid Anfwer, or im-
peach Truth of Sophiftry, he deſerves to be pointed at :
Digito monftrari & dicitur hic eft. Thus fome have affert-
ed the Poffibility of an Infinity actu, in fpite of receiv'd
Principles that oppofe it. They fhroud the Weakneſs of
their Reaſons under the Obfcurity of the Thefis;
and
folve
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 403
folve Difficulties by ftarting greater. You lay hold on
their Vanity to fupport your Hypothefis, and think you
have made it clear beyond Debate, by telling us Philofo-
phers hold the Eternity of the World poffible: But under
Favour, though their Authority may ftave off fome Argu-
ments from you, it cannot others: For though they hold
God would create the World ab æterno, they deny it
could be a fe. If therefore in one Caſe you defer fome-
thing to their Authority, be fo juft as to reverence it in
the other: Befides, your vaft Pretenders to Wit will not
be fobb'd off with Authority. This is the Refuge of Weak-
nefs; the Sanctuary of thoſe, whofe good Humour muſt
compound for the Shallownefs of their Brain. You are for
Reaſon, for naked Demonftration, without Fard or Fu-
cus; for Evidence that admits of no Reply nor Rejoin-
der; therefore ftand to your Principles before you ſtrike
in with theſe mighty Upholders of Infinitum. Bring their
Reaſons to the Touch-ftone; examine whether they are
Sterling, or Adulterate. I will only propoſe one or two
Difficulties, which I confeſs put me to the Plunge. The
World you fay is eternal?
Theo. I do.
Eufeb. Therefore it was impoffible for you ever to have
been born.
Theo. I deny the Inference.
Enfeb. I prove it. You could not poffibly be born
till an infinite Number of Generations was paft; but
'tis impoffible for an infinite Number of Generations to
pafs, therefore 'twas impoffible for you ever to have been
born.
Theo. 'Tis impoffible for an infinite Number of Gene-
rations to paſs in an infinite Space of Time; I deny your
Minor: In a finite Space of Time, I grant your Minor,
and deny the Confequence.
Eufeb. I fubfume, but 'tis impoffible for an infinite
Space of Time ever to pafs: For if it can pafs, it has an
End, and by confequence we find an infinite with an End;
and certainly this confequence becomes not a Man, who
avoids the Belief of a Deity, becaufe Infinity is an incon-
ceiveable Thing. I know not how you look upon my
Argument; but methinks any Man but an Atheift would
ftart at it.
Dda
Again,
404
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Again, if by Defcent we may paſs by an infinite Se-
ries of Generations, why not by Afcent? methinks 'tis
no farther from the Bottom of a Pair of Stairs to the
Top, than from the Top to the Bottom: And I always
thought the Way from London to Windfor, was the fame
with that from Windfor to London: Now in afcending
from you to your Father, from him to your Grandfa-
ther, &c. we march in the fame Road, we call in at the
farne Gentlemen. If therefore by Defcent we come to
an end of our Journey, why not by Afcent?
Theo. The Reafon is evident: For by afcending you
come to an end of Generations, and top at the firft
Man: Then the Succeffion of Generations has not been
infinite.
Eujeb. Right: But then it inevitably follows, there
has not been an infinite Series of Generations: Becauſe
you put an end to them, they are at a full ftop in your
Perfon.
Theo. There is a great Diſparity between the two
Cafes. Becaufe when you mount up from Son to Fa-
ther, from Father to Grandfather, &c. the Time is al-
ways finite. Now what wonder that an Infinity of Ge-
nerations can't be trac'd up to their Origin in a finite
Space? But when you defcend to me, there has paſs'd
an infinite Space of Time: And ſo one Infinity corre-
fponds to the other.
Eufeb. No doubt, you have plain'd the Difficulty be-
yond Difpute by your quaint Difparity. But I would
know why a Man by afcending cannot ftep from Time
to Eternity, as well as by defcending from Eternity into
Time? And then, how can an infinite Time pafs?
Theo Thefe Infinities and Eternities are puzzling
Subjects, they out ftretch the Abilities of our Under-
ſtandings, and your Argument preffes thofe Philofophers
who maintain God could create the World ab æterno.
Eufeb. Infinities and Eternities are puzzling Subjects
indeed; but then I wonder an Atheift's Reafon fhould
ſtumble at the Notion of an infinite Being, and leap fo
nimbly over apparent Contradictions. I do not infift
upon my Proof as a Demonftration that there is a firſt
Principle, or that the World was not a fe. Perchance
in a puzzling Subject, our Understanding may be non-
plus'd; but at leaſt it demonftrates, that the whole Body
of
:
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
405
of Atheiſts is unreafonable to Folly and Madness; for
they reject God on Account of his Infinity, and ſome
other Attributes that they fay are inconceiveable. In
the mean time, they are conſtrain'd to admit an infinite
and eternal Series of Generations; a thing that not only
furpaffes our Conception, but in Appearance falls foul
on the most evident and receiv'd Maxims of Reafon. If
we muſt place Infinity and Eternity fomewhere, I appeal
to Reafon, whether it be not more agreeable to its Di-
Etates, to attribute thoſe Perfections to a Being, in
whofe Notion they neceffarily enter, and imply no other
Difficulty, but what follows a finite Understanding,
when it roves in Infinity, and lofes it felf in Eternity;
than to this World, which in its moſt effential Notion in-
volves no Idea of Eternity: Nay, it cannot be apply'd to
it, without violating either directly, or by Illation, the
very Principles of Difcourfe. Whence I conclude forne
more unworthy Principle than Reafon induces Atheists
to queftion the Existence of a God, becauſe his moſt
inconceiveable Attributes return to their own Hypothefis
with more Violence.
Thefe Philofophers Cafe, who think God might have.
created the World ab æterno, is quite different from
yours; though their Opinion be falfe, their Faith is true:
So that at worst they rifque nothing but their Labour;
but you put all your Hopes on a weak Bottom: If my
Arguments be true, your Soul is loft; and you will de-
plore your fucceffive Eternity, a parte ante, which has an
End for a whole Eternity, a parte poft, which will have
none. Lord! How would an Atheiſt crow, how would
he chirp, if he could but anvil out a Proof ſo appa-
rently conclufive for the World's Eternity, as mine is
against it? We fhould fee the Bookfeller's Stalls in Paul's
Church-Yard hung with new Demonftrations against the
Existence of a God; as they were fome Years ago with
Demonftrations against a Trinity. We fhould fee Copies
in every Coffee-Houfe, and the Beaus bufy in conning it
over to make themfelves Mafters of it: But becauſe
the Proof does not hit with their Inclination, it must not
work upon their Underſtanding. It falls as heavy upon
our Philofophers, you fay, as upon you; what then?
Can Company change the Nature of Things? If they
are in the Wrong, are you in the Right? Would you
engage
.
Dd3
>
}
406 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
engage your Eftate or Life that my Argument is meer
Paralogifm? I believe you would take fome time for
Confideration before you ventur'd upon the Bet. Why
then do you ſtake your Soul? For if an eternal Succef
fion of Generations be impoffible, the World was made
in Time. If it was made, there is a God and if there
be one, what can an Atheiſt expect from a flighted Dei-
ty, but a juſt Chaſtiſement for his Infidelity? The Con-
fequence is of Importance, and deferves fome ferious
Thoughts.
DIALOGUE XVIII.
The third Proof. The Characters of Wisdom visible in the
Frame and Conftitution of the World, demonftrate it is
the Work of a wife Agent.
I
Have already prov'd a God by the bare Exiſtence of
the World: I confirm the fame Thefis by the excellent
Contrivance of it, which indeed is both amazing and ra-
vifhing. It can neither be expreffed by Tongue, nor
drawn out by Pencil: 'Tis above Art, and out of the
Reach of Reafon. The moſt ſearching Genius that ever
was, has not been able to diſcover one Blot in the large
Volume of the World; there are no Errata's. Nothing
ſtept in as a rude Effay of Skill, and afterwards underwent
the File or Hammer, but all Things continue as they
were from the Beginning of the Creation.
From this Order and Regularity Tully infers, that the
World was the Product of a wife Agent; and brands
thoſe with Folly, who dare deny a Conclufion fo clear,
fo evident: Effe præftantem aliquam æternamque naturam,
eamque fufpiciendam adorandamque pulchritudo mundi, or-
doque rerum cœleftium cogit confiteri: The Beauty of the
World, an exact Order of the Heavens demonftrate the
Existence of a noble and eternal Being, to whom Men owe
Esteem and Adoration; nay, he ſticks not to affirm, that
the Contemplation of the Oeconomy, Harmony and Or-
der of the heavenly Bodies, put the Matter in a Light,
that leaves no room for Difpute. Quid poteft effe tam
apertum tamque perfpicuum, cum calum fufpicimus coer
leftiaque
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
407
leftiaque contemplati fumus, quam aliquod effe numen præ-
ftantiffime mentis, quo hæc regantur? What can be ima-
gin'd more clear, than that there is a moft wife Being,
who directs and governs the Heavens?
Now that a Vein of Wiſdom runs through every part
of the World, is moft evident; for it fuppofes two things,
a Defign, and Means proportion'd to acquire it; and
where thoſe two are found, Wiſdom muſt be admitted.
We have Eyes to fee, and there are Colours capable of
being feen. We have Organs fitted up for Smell, Tafte
and Feeling, and there are Objects able to gratify them.
Colours, Smells, &c. would be uſeleſs, were there no
Senſes to receive them; and Senfes infignificant, if there
was nothing in Nature to play upon them. This reci-
procal Relation argues a Defign, and a choice of Means;
and who denies it to be the Contrivance of Wifdom, is
flenderly provided with this Virtue.
The Sun, which is call'd the Father of Nature, as the
Earth is term'd the Mother, moves about us in ſo juſt
a Diſtance, that nothing could place it fo conveniently
but his Wiſdom who affign'd its Task. Were it more
remote, the Earth would congeal; did it approach, we
ſhould be parcht with Heat, and fall into Afhes: But
now we enjoy the Benefit of its Light, and the Earth
the Effects of its enlivening Influence; it impregnates
the Womb of Nature with its Rays, and attacks Vapours
to pour them down in Dews and Showers, that refreſh
the Fields, enliven Flowers, and bring with them Plen-
ty and Abundance; and at the fame time returns thoſe
Waters to the Rivers and Sea, of whom it borrow'd
them; and fo (as it were) exerciſes at once, an act of
Liberality and Juftice.
But then all thofe delicious Fruits that charm the Eye,
and pleaſe the Palate, would rather be admirable than
uſeful, did they not turn into the Subſtance of Animals ;
and thofe (like Tantalus) would perifh of Hunger in the
Arms of Plenty, had they no Inftinct to feed on them.
But again, had every Creature an Inclination to the
fame Food, one would ftarve the other; Nature would
be at a Nonplus for Provifion, her Granaries would be
exhaufted, her Stock drain'd, and then Mortality would
'follow: But now fhe keeps open Table for all her Chil-
dren, the maintains them at her own Expences: And tho'
Dd4
they
•
408 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
they neither reap nor fow, they are rather overwhelm'd
with Plenty, than prefs'd with Neceffity: Befides, had
not the Male an Inclination for the Female, the Species
would be at an End; and this Inclination would not
continue them, unleſs Propagation were made by it. Had
the Female no Tenderneſs for her young, they could
not hold out a Day; yet did not her Teats fwell with
Milk, her Tenderneſs could not preſerve them; but theſe
poor Creatures forfaken by their Dam would be expos'd
to Infult, were they deftitute of Swiftnefs, Craft, Cou-
rage, or Arms to defend themſelves, or annoy the Ag-
greffors. Nature has provided againſt this Inconvenience;
Flight faves fome, Wiles others, and many diſpute their
Lives; and when they are over-power'd, they feldom
fall without Revenge. They handle their Weapons with
Art, and fence by Rule and Method. The Porcupines,
like the Parthians, fight at a Diſtance; they fhoot with-
out Bows, or Arquebufs; and hit the Mark without Aim.
The Hedge-Hog at the Approach of Danger marſhals it
felf into Sphere; it cafts up a Retrenchment; expects the
Enemy behind a Palifade, and ſupplies with Policy, the
Weakneſs of its Forces. The Bull faces his Adverfary.
The Horfe wheels off, and ufes his Heels, either to fly,
or to wound. If you intended to continue Creatures,
could you invent more fit, more apt Means? Were you
Commiflary-General, could you lay up better Provifi-
ons? Are you able to place their Weapons more advan-
tageouſly for their Defence; or teach them to manage
them with greater Dexterity? There are more legible
Characters of Wiſdom and Fore-fight in the Republick of
Beafts, than in thofe of Lycurgus, Solon, Plato, and Ari-
ftotle; for thefe intended a perfect Common-wealth;
they err'd moft fhamefully in the Means, and enacted
Laws more fuitable to Goats than Men. But among ir-
rational Creatures, as thefe Laws are inviolable, fo they
are proportioned to their Natures and Welfare. They nei-
ther err by Exceſs nor Defect, one more Rule would fub-
vert Oeconomy, as well as one lefs; nothing can be ad-
ded, nothing fubtracted.
I fhall not enter upon the Fabrick of their Bodies,
where Wiſdom fits on every Muſcle. Let it fuffice, that
Galen takes Notice in his Book de Forma Foetus, that in
human Bodies there are above 600 Mufcles; and that
ever y
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 409
every one requires at leaft ten Qualifications. So that
about theſe ſmall Parts alone, no less than 6000 Ends are
to be attended to. There are 284 Bones, and each has
above forty Ends, in all ten Thouſand; and a Failure in
any one of theſe would cauſe a great Irregularity in the
Body, and in many Death and Deftruction.
Now not to dilate further upon this Proof, I appeal to
you, whether theſe ſtrange and admirable Contrivances,
theſe natural Tendencies to one Point, and withal, thefe
Means fo proportionable, do not cry out, ipfe fecit nos,
& non ipfi nos? We are neither the Work of blind Chance,
nor the Product of fatal Neceffity, but of an infinite
Power and Wiſdom. We cannot caft an Eye upon a
rough Landſkip, but the very Sight of it leads us to a
Painter; And if a Tree or Animal in Effigies conducts
us naturally to a Hand that drew them, and to Wiſdom
that contriv'd them; can thefe living Originals be fa-
ther'd on Hazard or Neceffity?
Theo. Theſe things you mention are worthy of Obfer--
vation; they entertain fometimes my ferious Thoughts,
and caſt me into Rapts of Admiration; but yet they do
not exceed the Force and Energy of Nature.
Eufeb. What do you mean by Nature? Is it an intel-
ligent Being; or void of all Senfation and Reafon ?
If intelligent, you mifufe Words to confound Notions,
you reprefent God travefted into Nature: If it be depri-
ved of all Knowledge, then you run to Matter and Mo-
tion: Now theſe two are uncapable of Wiſdom, they can
neither think nor underſtand, they are without Reaſon,
and even without Senfe. Notwithſtanding the World
is inveſted with plain Characters of Wiſdom, they are
ftamp'd and engraved on each part of the Univerſe:
The Learned and Ignorant, the Vulgar and the Philo-
fophers are unanimous in this Point: What then re-
mains, but that we draw this neceflary Inference, that
fome wife, intelligent, eternal Being did raiſe out of no-
thing this lovely Fabrick, that he plac'd every Creature
in its proper Station, prefix'd its End, and provided it
with Inftruments to compleat the Work Providence has
affign'd it.
Theo. You know our Underſtandings are very fhort-
fighted, they difcover nothing plainly but our Ignorance;
wherever we look we find our felves encompafs'd with
Diffi-
1
1
410
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Difficulties; the moft trifling, the moſt common Objects
perplex our Reaſon, we cannot fix a right Notion of `
Production; if we could, perchance the Mystery would
vaniſh without any Recourſe to a firſt Caufe. Your lit-
tle Tricks of Pafs furprize the Ignorant, who often af
cribe to Magick thofe Operations that have no other
Caufe than flight of Hand. In fine, as Mr. Hobb, takes
Notice, the Multitude deifies what it cannot comprehend.
Ignorance begets Admiration, Admiration Reſpect, Respect
Fear, and Fear Religion.
Eufeb. I am glad to fee you fo low in your own Eyes
this Morning, and that your peremptory and dogmati-
cal Humour is fpent; furely you have lately made a
more intimate Acquaintance with human Nature; and a
fuller Diſcovery of the Imperfections of our Intellect
has read you a Leffon of Humility. Indeed our Under-
ſtandings are poor and unfurnifh'd, they come into the
World unfhap'd, and muſt be poliſhed by Study, before
they can give a tolerable Account of the moſt obvious
Trifles; and yet, when this is done, we cannot rely on
their Intelligence, for they have but few Principles to
fteer by; the Grofs of our Knowledge is made of Illati-
ons, which are beaten out with great Labour and Atten-
tion; and when we contemplate felf-evident Truth at a
Diſtance, the Mind is puzzled at the View of fome emer-
ging Circumftances; which makes us forget or miſtake
the Connexion of the Confequence with the Premiſes, and
then our Labour is rewarded with Error.
:
I willingly therefore grant, that I cannot dive into ab-
ftrufe Secrets of Nature. I neither know the Mystery
of Generation, nor that of Corruption. I believe I am a
Compound of two very different Ingredients, Spirit and
Matter But how fuch difproportion'd things keep fo
ftrict a Correſpondence, I am as ignorant as the Child
unborn. Perchance a Philofopher may harangue, and
talk more plaufibly upon the Matter, than an Oyfter-
woman: But after all, if we bring his elaborated Dif
courſe to the Teft, we fhall find nothing but cant
Terms, and fcholaftical Jargon. But what then? Can-
not I judge that Paul's Church never made it felf, before
I have conn'd over Vitruvius? Or muft I know all the
Rules of Limning to be fure the Signs in London are the
Work of a Painter? Tho' I cannot conceive which way
the
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 411
the Thames was turn'd, when the Bridge was built, or
when the Arches were form'd of Marble, or Free Stone ;
yet I am pretty well convinc'd by the Uniformity and
Contrivance of the Fabrick, that Wiſdom and Art had
a Hand in the Building: And I would laugh at thoſe
who ſhould maintain, that either Fate, Chance or Na-
ture plac'd the Stones in that regular Form. A thouſand
things in the Univerſe ſeem to me meer Riddles; yet I
behold a ſtately Machine made up of ten Millions of Pie-
ces: I fee Beauty, Symmetry and Defign; this fuffices
to perfuade a rational Creature nothing but Wiſdom con-
triv'd it, and nothing but Power put the Idea in Execu-
tion. So that I infer from what I know, that an infinite
Wiſdom fram'd and governs the World; not from what
I do not know.
Theo. You muſt not argue from Works of Art to thoſe
of Nature. We fee Bridges, Churches and Pictures
made by the Hands of Artificers, and therefore we ratio-
nally conclude, that even thofe that are of an older
ſtanding owe their Origin to Art. But who faw the firſt
Stone laid in the Foundation of the World?
Eufeb. You turn your Battery the wrong Way, and
level at your own Hypothefis as directly as I could with:
Becauſe we ſee Pictures under the Hand of the Painter,
and Edifices under thofe of Mafons and Carpenters, we
have reaſon to infer, that all fuch things are Effects of
an intelligent Agent; but if fuch Trifles require an un-
derſtanding Artificer, I would know why the Fabrick of
the World, compacted of fo many Parts, fo curioufly
wrought, fo artificially knit together, fhould not lead us
to the fame Conclufion? Have I right to afcribe the
raifing of a wretched Cabbin to Wiſdom, and not the
whole Frame of the Univerfe? Muft I confefs the pretty
Proportion of a Leafh of Wheels in a Watch is owing
to the Skill of a Workman? And that the ftupendious
Frame of my Body is the pure Object of blind Chance,
or fatal Neceffity? Certainly fuch palpable Abfurdities
would perfuade one, that Senfe and Reaſon were not
made for Mankind; and that we force Nature when we
pretend to it,
DIA-
412
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
DIALOGUE XIX.
The fourth Proof. The Invention of Arts and Sciences
Jhew the World is not eternal; and confequently that
at was made by a powerful Agent.
Eufeb. WE fee new Arts ftart up with new Ages.
The World is now better provided, not on-
ly with Fences againſt Neceffity, but even with Sup-
ports of Grandeur, than it was two thouſand Years ago.
The Diſcovery of the Chart is but of late ftanding, tho'
of great Importance. The Inventions of Powder, and
of the Prefs, are not much more ancient. Rerum Natura
facra non fimul tradit: Arts follow the Law of Nature,
they are brought forth by Degrees, and are polifh'd by
Time and Experience.
Other Arts, as they are more neceffary to Mankind,
ſo they are more ancient; yet we can track them up to
their Origin. We know the Inventors of Huſbandry and
Tillage, who traffick on Foot, and firft brav'd the
Ocean in Ships. Now if the World was eternal, the
Induſtry and Study of Man were eternal alfo. How then
is it credible that Men of the fame Temper with us, fa-
gacious, witty, and ambitious, ſhould faunter away a
whole Eternity, without making thoſe Diſcoveries we
owe wholly to the laſt fix thouſand Years? Was the
World always a Child, always in its Non-age? Has
it only arriv'd at the Years of Difcretion fince fome few
Ages?
Again, the Defire to perpetuate their Memories runs in
the Blood of all Men. We hate to bury our Names in the
Grave with our Bodies, to fleep in Duft and Aſhes, as
unknown to Pofterity, as we are to our Predeceffors
Nay, fome have been fo befotted with the Charms of Life
at fecond hand, that becauſe they wanted Virtues, they
prefented Pofterity with their Vices; and thofe rather to
be blam'd than forgotten. I fuppofe our Fore-fathers
convey'd down to us their Inclinations, together with
their Nature; and that none of their Paffions chang'd in
the Voyage, or were improv'd by Tranfplantation; their
Propenfions lean'd the fame Way, they were as high-met-
led,
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
413
;
led, as greedy of vain Applaufe as we: It cannot there-
fore be queftion'd, but that Men fo fond of Glory en-
deavour'd to glut their Appetite, fome at the Purl of
their Lives, and others of their Quiet. It cannot be
thought they either wanted Matter or Occafion: Ambiti-
on never fleeps, it ſtands upon the Catch, and either finds
a Subject for Action, or makes one. The Power of a
Neighbour, or the Weakneſs, are both ftrong Temptati-
ons to an ambitious Prince, that promifes Glory, this
Conqueft; and either draws on a War. Pray tell me,
therefore, who were thoſe ancient Heroes? Where did
they Reign? What Province did they wafte or fubdue?
Who rais'd the firft Empire? Who built the fecond on the
Ruins of the fift? Was not a whole Eternity able to pro-
duce one Homer, one Curtius, one Livy? Did it never
come into any King's Head to bribe a Pen, or to buy a
Panegyrick? Were all the Wits of the World fo ſtub-
born, as neither to be mov'd by Intereft nor Applauſe,
to write a New's-Letter or Gazette? Indeed I do not
wonder we have no exact Diary of paft Tranfactions
for to digeft an eternal Story into Days, is a laborious
Tafk, and requires a Purfe to buy Materials, as well as
a vaft Stock of Patience to employ them. Jut ftill, me-
thinks, we might reafonably expect fome Fragments, or
at leaſt the Name of one Prince. But alas! All thoſe
Worthies lie interr'd under the Ruins of Time, their brave
Exploits fleep with their Perfons, and their very Empires
are drown'd in Silence and Oblivion. By the help of pro-
phane Records, we cannot trace Time above the Theban
War, asLucretius confeffes; and therefore Macrobius con-
cludes the World could not be eternal. Quis dubitet quin
mundus recens & novus fit, cum Hiftoria Græca bis mille
annorum hiftoriam vix contineat? Who doubts but the
World is of a ſhort ſtanding, feeing the Græcian Story gives
an Account only of two thousand Years? Perchance you
will fay, Writing is but of late Invention; and that all
the memorable Actions of Antiquity perifh'd for want of
this happy Means of conveying them to Pofterity:
Where are at leaſt the Painters and Carvers? A Ì -
&ture, Statue, or Medal would have given fome Satisfa-
ction; or had they rais'd one Pyramid, we might at leaſt
have an Affurance all Mankind was not drunk with
Opium, and ſtupified with an eternal Lethargy: But af-
ter
414
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
ter all, 'tis ftrange that fo buſy, ſo ſharp a Creature as
Man, during an infinite Succeflion of Ages, fhould not
ftumble upon the way of Writing, a thing fo neceffary
to the Support of Society, and withal fo obvious: That
Man was certainly fortunate indeed, who hit upon an Art
in fome Years, that had efcaped the Search of all Man-
kind for the ſpace of a whole Eternity.
Theo. The Anfwer to your Proof is very eafy, tempus
edax rerum, fung the Poet: Time, like Saturn, devours
its Children: It confumes its own Productions, and preys
upon its Offspring. Now if Time be fuch a Cormorant,
Eternity must be a greater. Time, like Diſtance, dimi-
niſhes Things; but Eternity fwallows them up, and re-
moves them beyond the Sphere-of Memory. How ma-
ny brave Actions within theſe thouſand Years have flipt
by the Pens of the moft inquifitive Hiftorians? They are
wore out of Memory, together with the Heroes that at-
chiev'd them, and lie entomb'd in Oblivion and Forgetful-
nefs: Nay, Cities not only decay, but vaniſh. What re-
mains of that famous Babylon, but the Name? We know
not what it was; and are ignorant even where it ſtood.
And Florus confeffes, that in his time, not only Samnium
was loft, but alſo its very Ruins. If fome few Ages eat
out the Memory of noble Exploits, and convey out of
fight Cities, together with the Earth they ſtood on; why
do you call for an exact Regiſter of Arts, an eternal Ge-
nealogy of Princes, or an Account of their Actions? They
are loft in an infinite Succeffion of Ages; they are drown'd
in the Ocean of Eternity.
Eufeb. By what Misfortune?
Theo. By Deluges and Conflagrations.
Eufeb. Pray, Sir, let me ask you to what Office of In-
telligence you addreſs your felf for thofe Deluges, Con-
flagrations and Wars? Upon what Memorials do you
ground the Story of your Pre-adamitical Tranfactions?
To ſay there were fuch things is not to prove it. And
what you affert without good Caution, may be deny'd
with Reafon.
Theo. Under Favour, methinks my Anfwer is very
much to the Purpoſe. It attacks not your Proof in the
Rear, but in the Front; and ftrikes at the very Heart
of it. You fhew the World was not eternal; becauſe
it is inveſted with all the Characters of Novelty. In-
duftry,
د,
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 415
duftry, you fay, either improves old Arts, or invents
new ones. Some are younger than we; others than our
Fathers; and the moft ancient have their Origin. Their
Inventors are recorded in Story, and come within the
Memory of Books: Whence you conclude, the World
was not eternal; becauſe thofe Arts muft of neceffity
have been of a more ftale Invention. For how can a
Man imagine that thoſe things fhould lie out of Sight for
a whole Eternity, which have been difcover'd in a few
Ages? To which I anfwer; that all this may be very well
reconcil'd with the World's Eternity; for they might
have been found out an Infinity of Times, and as often
loft by accidental Deluges and Conflagrations. Now, if
by fuch unforeteen and irremediable Chances, Arts and
Sciences might fall into Oblivion, your Argument falls
to the Ground, it cannot fubfift; and it is of no Force
to prove the Non-Eternity of the World.
Eufeb. My Argument is as well timbred as ever, and
your weak Reafon makes me more in Love with it:
For fuppofing fuch Accidents might happen, i. e. were
poffible; by what new-coin'd Logick can you infer they
did? Many things may be, that never will be, and he
that governs himſelf by Poffibilities, may fear all things,
and hope for any thing. Nay, your Poffibilities, as I
fhew'd before, like a two-edged Sword, cut both ways,
they ſtand for each Side of the Contradiction, and whilft
they take both Parts, advantage neither. For as you
fay 'twas poffible for fuch Accidents to happen, and there-
fore conclude they did; fo I affirm 'twas poffible not to
happen, therefore infer they did not. My Argument
is certainly ftronger than yours, for we find by Expe-
rience, that fewer things happen that are poffible, than
do not.
But to cloſe with your Argument, I afk whether thofe
Deluges were particular or univerfal? A particular In-
undation will not do your Bufinefs. For fuppofing the
Sea fhould break its Inclofure, and play fuch Pranks in
our Ifland, as it did in Attica; would the furviving part
of the World replunge into Barbarity and Ignorance?
Would the Arts of Writing and Printing difappear in
France, Spain and Italy, becauſe England lay under Wa-
ter? No, no, Sir! The World would jog on. Arts would
flourish just as they do. Perchance the greater Sciences.
Eff
3
416 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
of making Pudding and Brawn, which (as Mr. John Ray
takes Notice in his Obfervations, are Dishes proper to Eng-
land) might ſuffer by the Misfortune, yet Induſtry might
retrieve them, for without doubt the Receipts were flip'd
into Flanders with our Armies; and as the Dutch taught
us to befiege Towns, fo certainly we inftructed them in
the deep Myſteries of Pudding and Brawn.
It follows therefore that thofe Deluges were univerſal,
(but not fupernatural I hope) for then you grant the
very thing we contend for, viz. a God. Nor could
they be natural; becauſe, according to the prefent Situa-
tion of Things, an univerfal Deluge caus'd by the Force
of Nature is utterly impoffible; and I could eafily de-
monftrate it, did the Strefs of our preſent Debate depend
upon Hydrostaticks: But if I grant ſuch a Deluge natu-
rally poffible; yet as to the probability you are never the
nearer; for how can any Man in his Senfes perfuade
himſelf, that a thing is probable, or likely to happen, that
has never fallen out in an infinite Duration? He that
can believe that to be probable, that has never come to
paſs in an eternal Revolution of Ages, muſt not be an
Enemy to Credulity.
Theo. I never faid yet, that an univerfal Inundation
was probable; you have foiſted in that Word for your
own Advantage.
Eufeb. Have you not told me, thofe Deluges have come
fo very near the Matter, that few efcap'd? That they
have brought Mankind a thoufand times within an Ace
of its Ruin? The Waters then did cover all the Surface
of the Earth; except a ſmall Spot of Ground able to
give footing to half a Hundred. Why could they not
fwell fix Foot higher? Who commanded this furious
Element to halt in that critical Point? If it could rife
fo high, by the help of natural Caufes; why not fome
Foot higher? And if it could; why did it not in an
Eternity? Methinks there fhould be Spring-Deluges, as
well as Spring-Tides? And in fuch a Tract of Time it
might once at leaſt mount to the higheſt Pitch. In fine,
Sir, I defire you, and the whole Sect of Atheistical Phi-
lofophers, to produce one Reafon that carries the leaft
Shadow of Probability to prove the Waters naturally
could fwell to the Tops of the higheſt Mountains, and
not cover them; if they could, within the Compaſs of an
Eternity,
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
41
4ting
Eternity, they had done it: For it ſeems incredible, that
Nature fhould not do in an infinite Space whatever lay
within the Reach of its Power.
But again, it ſeems ſtrange, that all the ingenious Part
of Mankind ſhould be involved in this common Ship-
wreck, and a ſmall Parcel of illiterate, ignorant, unpro-
fitable Blockheads furvive the Fall of Nature: For if a
Hundred only eſcap'd, 'tis very likely fome Mechanicks,
fome Carpenters, fome Plowmen, one at leaſt that could
write and read, and probably one Taylor might be in this
fortunate Company. If fo, they might propagate their
Arts with their Blood, and re-people the World in a
fhort Time with Trades, as well as with Inhabitants.
Now Things have happen'd quite contrary; the World,
tho' ſtock'd with People, was many Years deftitute of
Arts. They knew neither the way of Ploughing nor
Sowing; they could neither plant Vines, or prefs Wine,
nor turn Milk into Curds, nor thofe into Cheeſe. Men
liv'd on the meer Bounty of Nature, Water fatisfy'd
their Thirſt, and Fruit their Hunger; and for want of
the Poft Office, every one did his own Meffage. Nay,
they had not the Wit to cover their Nakedneſs; fo
that God himſelf, according to Tradition, cut out the
firft Cloaths, and from this Moment we may date the
Company of Merchant-Taylors.
I come to your Conflagrations, which can only concern
Books; for they cannot confume Arts, unleſs first they
prey upon Men: And methinks the Fire muſt have nickt
the Time, that is, fet upon all the Houſes in the World
together, when all Mankind was bury'd in a profound
Sleep, to do the Feat compleat. Now, I fancy, tho'
Flames fhould ftand upon the Watch for an Eternity,
they would never meet with ſo fair an Occaſion to diſpatch
our Species: But at laft they have ravag'd Libraries,
you fay, and glutted their Rage with Memorials and
Records; they not only turn'd Authors themſelves into
Afhes, but all the Hiftorical Dictionaries, together with
the Journaus des Scavens: So that their very Names
were confum'd with the Paper that preferv'd 'em, and.
mingled with the Duft we tread on. Your Syftem is
too ridiculous to be examin'd, too fooliſh to be confu
ted; Reaſon has an Antipathy against fuch Abfurdities ;
they are unable even to work on a Madman. There is
E e
no
418
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
no queſtion but Fire may mafter Libraries, as well as pri-
vate Houſes, and treat them with as little Regard as
White-Hall; but this will not do your Jobb, to flave
Phænomena's, we muft fuppofe either that all the Books
in the World where wheedled into one Magazine, be-
fore the Mine fprung; or that Fire-balls were caſt into
all the Libraries at a Signal; theſe two Ways might do
a great deal of Execution, and diſpatch ſome Tun of
Divinity and Hiftory in a fhort Time; and I conceive
they are poffible, but to fufpect 'em probable, is to im-
pofe on our Reafon; the very Thought of fuch a Thing
is a Scandal to human Nature, but to believe it, Frenzy
and Madneſs.
DIALOGUE XX.
The fifth Proof. 'Tis fhewn quafi a priore the World was
not eternal a ſe.
Eufeb.Confefs it's more eafy to deny than to prove;
the Affailant always attacks at a Diſadvantage;
that is not above the Performance of Ignorance, or Fol-
ly: But this requires both Wit and Study. However;
I wave your Advantage, and will draw a Reaſon or two
from the very Nature and Conftitution of the World,
which, I think, comes near Conviction, and makes it
highly credible, it could not poffibly be ab æterno a ſe.
If it were eternal, it is a neceffary and independent
Being, if neceffary and independent, it muſt be eternal
a pariep poft. For as it depends on nothing but it felf
for its Being it can dephnd on nothing diftant from its
felf for its Confervation; and as its own Nature was ſuf-
ficient to give it Existence, fo it is fufficient to continue
it; therefore if its Existence was neceffary, its Continu-
ation is neceffary, and if this be necessary, it muſt be
eternal; hence it follows, that if the Whole was eternal,
its Parts muſt be eternal; for the World is not diſtinct
from all its Parts: Therefore, if the World was eternal,
all its Parts were eternal alío a parte ante, and will be
fo a parte poft: But no Part of the World is eternal;
therefore the Whole is not eternal. Let us fingle out
one
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 419
:
one Species: 'Tis evident Men are born, and die;
therefore 'tis evident that Men were not a parte ante
eternal.
Theo. I wonder you will impofe upon the Compa-
ny; this is not to reafon but to trifle, and the Proof
has more Raillery than Reafon. I know I was Nothing
fixty Years ago, and that within ſome time I ſhall re-
turn to my everlafting Home. I am not of my ſelf,
but the Work of Nature, and muſt march off when She
commands me, nor was there ever any eternal Indivi-
dual.
Eufeb. A little clearer if you pleaſe; when you ſay
Man was eternal, what do you mean?
Theom. I mean the Species.
Eufeb. I underſtand. Are you then turn'd Platonick,
and feparate the Species from the Individuals?
Theom. No.
Eufeb. Why then, methinks it follows, if no Indivi-
dual was a fe, the Species was not a ſe, becauſe the Spe-
cies is indiftinct from all the Individuals.
Theom. You call in again at Infinitum, and forgot it
has no all. All is a Chimera, a kind of philofophical
Bull, not apply'd to a determinate Number.
Eufeb. Indeed Infinitum has an excellent Situation,
like Cities in Boggs, there is no coming at it; but at
prefent it lies out of my way, and I fhall draw off with-
out meddling with it. But I muft tell you I take a Rid-
dle for a Solution: At leaſt human Species is eternal
a fe.
Theom. I have granted it.
Eufeb. Why then it can never be extinct: For what
depends of it felf muſt be eternel, and whatever is eter-
nal a fe parte ante, müft be ſo a parte poft; unleſs per-
chance the Fancy fhould take a Thing to deftroy its felf,
which is unlikely, and impoffible to our Hypotheſis.
For whatſoever exifts a fe, exifts neceffarily; but what
exifts neceffarily a fe, muft always exift, otherwife it will
be neceſſary, and not neceffary, which implies a flat Con--
tradiction.
Theom. Well, fuppofing this true; what do you in-
fer?
Eufeb. That our Species is a Stranger to Eternity, as
well as its Individuals, and no more e ſe than you or
E e 2
I:
420
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
I: For all thofe Men who are now in Being muſt once
knock off, and ſubmit to the common Fate of Morta-
lity.
Theom. They muft, this is a terrible Truth, but paſt
Debate; methinks I would purchaſe one Dofe of Efcu-
lapius's immortal Poffet-Drink, at any rate.
Eufeb. If they dy'd without Iffue, our Species would
be at an end.
Theom. Moft true; if they made a Vow of Continence,
and kept it, our Race would be fhort-liv'd: But I have
no great Apprehenfion, that all Mankind will engage in
an Affociation to ftand by Chastity with their Lives and
Fortunes, or to die Batchelors.
Eufeb. It's not very likely indeed: So long as there is
an Atheiſt in the World, the work of Propagation will
go on: At leaſt ſuch a Refolution is not impoffible, for
you and I can make it, and there is the fame Reaſon for
every Man in the World: 'Tis therefore poffible for the
whole Species to periſh.
Theom. What then?
Eufeb. Why then it follows by an evident Illation,
that our Species is not a fe: For whatever is a fe, muft
of Neceffity be eternal a parte poft, as it is eternal a parte
ante. The fame Argument takes in any Species now
exiftent; whence I conclude, that if no Species be eter-
nal, no Part of the World is eternal, nor by confe-
quence the Whole.
Theom. Not ſo faſt, if you pleaſe: You prove too
much; and by confequence Nothing.
Eufeb. How fo?
Theom. Could not God (if there be ſuch a Thing)
have created the World ab æterno ?
Eufeb. My Reafon tells me he could not: But not to
engage in a Matter foreign to our Difpute, 1 grant he
could.
Theom. Let us then fuppofe he did create it ab æterno ;
in this Cafe our Species would be eternal a parte ante.
Eufeb. It would.
•
Theom. Therefore by your Way of demonftrating, it
would be eternal a parte poft; becauſe according to your
new Logick, whatever is eternal one way, muſt be
eternal the other: But I conceive the whole Species might
be ftifled by your general Affociation, even in this Hypo-
thefis,
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
421
thefis, as well as in the other, therefore it evidently fol-
lows, that the Species of Mankind would be eternal, and
not eternal.
Eufeb. Sir, you miſtake the Force of my Argument,
I do not fay, whatever is eternal a parte ante, muſt be
fo a parte poft: But whatever is èternal a parte ante a fe,
muſt be eternal a parte poft. I gave you the Reafon juft
now, viz. becaufe whatever exifts a fe is independent,
and intrinfically neceſſary, and therefore it's incapable of
Deſtruction; but whatever is created, depends of its
Cauſe, to whofe Power alone it owes its Being; and by
confequence is nothing intrinfically neceffary: It's there-
fore no more ſtrange, that Things that are by Courteſy,
and exiſt by Benevolence perifh, than that Men walk off,
and crumble into Duft and Aſhes.
Theom. But if we fuppofe with Ariftotle, that God is a
neceſſary Agent, two Things naturally follow: Firſt,
That our Species was ab eterno; and Secondly, That
it is neceffary: Therefore it was neceflary ab æterno:
For in this Cafe it could not be ab æterno; yet this
being granted, the Difficulty returns upon you; for if
you fay, our Species (in this Suppofition) muſt be eter-
nal a parte poft, what can hinder me from making the
fame Reply? If you fay, it may perifh, therefore 'tis
true, that our Species may end, tho' it be eternal a fe,
independent and neceffary.
Eufeb. You have caft the Cauſe upon a palpable Un-
truth, and beg the Protection of an Abfurdity: Howſoever
to combate your Opinion more fuccefsfully, we'll examine
its moſt plaufible Pretences, and fee if we can diſcover
the Weakneſs of them. I fay then, this Retreat will
not fecure you: For till your Species remains intrinfically
contingent, and has no other Neceffity but that of its
Caufe; according to its own Nature it may exift or
not exift: It has no Perfection inherent, that challenges
before Non-Existence: So that if it be granted, that it
did exift neceflarily ab æterno, this Neceffity is meerly
extrinfical; it's nothing but an Imperfection of the
Caufe, no Perfection of the Effect: Now in this Suppo-
fition our Species might perifh, becauſe it has no in-
trinfick Virtue that oppofes its Destruction; but if it
exifts a fe, then Exiſtence is indentified with its Nature,
and it can no more ceafe to be, than it could not be :
Ee 3
Sq
422
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
So that no Hypothefis can elude an Argument; where-
fore I conclude it's evident our Species may be extin
guifh'd, therefore it's evident it cannot be eternal a fe.
But pray remember what I told you juft now, your Ar-
gument owes its Force to a palpable Abfurdity, and you
know fuch Weapons do fmall Execution: You ſuppoſe
God a necessary Agent, now the very Suppofition deſtroys
him; for Liberty is a Perfection: Seeing therefore God
is infinite in Perfection, you cannot fuppofe him void of
Freedom, without fuppofing him not infinitely perfect,
and by confequence not God: So that your Difcourfe
runs thus; If God were God, and not God; if he created
neceffarily a Species ab æterno, and did not create it; this
Species would not be fubject to Deftruction, and would be
fubject to Destruction: This is cornutum argumentum, but
becauſe it goars with both Horns, it wounds with nei-
ther.
Again: If God lay under a Neceffity of creating ab ·
aterno, why of this World rather than of another? If
nothing elfe lies within the reach of his Power, a finite
Perfection has drain'd his creative Faculty: His Omni-
potence is at a Stop, and by confequence his Infinity
and Being at an End: If he can create fomething elſe,
what determin'd him to leave all other Creatures in the
State of Nothing, and to inveſt this World with Dig-
nity of Exiſtence? If the Determination came from the
Nature of the World, then it requir'd Exiſtence ab æterno,
and ſo muſt have been ab æterno, without any Obligation
to God for its Being: If from God, than he is free, and
the Existence of the World is the Effect of his Liberality,
not of Neceffity; whence it follows, that every Mo-
ment it lies at his Mercy, he may thruft every Individual
into Nothing, with the fame Freedom and Eafinefs he
drew them out of it.
Some Philofophers, I know, make God a neceffary
Agent, not to fuppofe him idle; they fancy Lazinefs be-
comes his Majefty less than Neceffity, and becauſe they
cannot affign him any other Employment but Creation,
they infer he created this World ab æterno.
Theſe People come within an Ace of the Extravagance
of the Poets, who to cut out fome Work for their God
Mercury, made him a Poſt-Boy: But let us take at pre-
fent thefe Dreams for Truths, thefe Fictions for Content:
It
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 423
It follows at least he may deftroy this World, upon Con-
dition he'll take the Pains to build another; nay, he may
raiſe with one Hand, and pull down with the other, for
all Eternity For in this Cafe it is evident he cannot
want Employment, and his Bafinefs will equal his Acti-
vity: So that to conclude in Spight of the Protection of
Abfurdity it felf, you must confefs, that every Species
that exiſts is ſubject to Deſtruction, and therefore not
a se.
Theom. Tho' no Species be eternal, Matter may be
eternal.
Eufeb, What if it be?
Theom. If it be, thefe different Species which grace the
World, might fpring out of the firft Fruitfulness of the
Earth, which certainly was more prolifick fome Ages ago
than at prefent.
Eufeb. Ho, Sir! We are out of our way, and juſt fal-
len on the Confines of Democratifm. The laft Moment
the World was Ens a fe, and now by the Virtue of fome
rare Adventure, it's transform'd into an Ens per Accidens,
Seeing you are in a Fit of Fiction, make ufe of Fancy
before it cool, and fay Men are hatcht in Ovens like
Chickens in Egypt, or that Beafts fpring from Muck,
and Men from Parfly-Beds. I am almoft afham'd to
confute Abfurdities, fo grofs at firft Sight, fo palpable,
that no Diſcourſe can make them more apparent: What
would the World fay, if you advance this Opinion in
Print? They ought to look upon you as mad or fooliſh,
if they would do you Right: But I admit the wond'rous
Fecundity of the Earth, and ask you how it comes to
pafs the Species of Animals are not eternal? For either
the Earth poffefs'd this prolifick Quality ab æterno, or it
did not; if it did not, by what happy Chance did it
come by it? If from it felf, it must be eternal; if from
another, you admit a diftinct Agent, and fo our Contro-
verfy is at an End: If it did poffefs this prolifick Virtue
ab æterno, then it produc'd all things ab æterno (for
I fuppofe Matter is a neceffary Agent:) But if this Vir-
tue be eternal, methinks it fhould ftill remain, and
then we might have the Satisfaction fometimes to breed
Horfes out of Quagmires, or reap good Crops of Men.
If this producing Quality falls with Age, why is it not
quite extinct? Why does the Earth bring forth any
E e 4
thing?
424
The GENTLEMAN Instructed.
thing? An inexhauſtible Virtue will run upon the Lees in
the Space of an Eternity, and end in Sterility. Thus you
ſee your ſelf at a Lofs, tho' Matter be eternal; the more
you evade a firft Agent diftinct from the World, the
more you encounter him, and you have nothing left but
the Liberty of being a Deift or a Fool.
But to give full Satisfaction, I offer you a Reaſon or
two, which feem to conclude, the very Matter cannot
be eternal a fe. First, 'tis evident, of all Beings Matter
comes the nearest to Nothing, it has fcarce any other.
Perfection, than that of bare Existence, 'tis pura poten-
tia, a meer Capacity: Now upon what Right does this
abject Thing challenge the glorious Attribute of Afeity
and Eternity? Before we put it in Poffeffion of ſuch tran-
fcendent Titles, both Reafon and Juftice command us
10 examine its Pretenfions: On account of Perfection,
it can put in no Claim, for the moſt vile Infects that
creep in Mire, and fpring from Corruption, lock up a
greater Treaſure of Perfections in an Eye alone, than are
diffus'd thro' the whole Mafs of Matter: If therefore
neither thefe, nor even Man himſelf dares afpire to In-
dependence and Eternity, why fhould Matter? To ad-
judge it theſe incommunicable Predicates on Account of
Imperfection, is very extraordinary: Indeed fuch a Sen-
tence may argue Compaffion or good Nature in a Judge,
but not one Grain of Juftice: Is Beggary a Title to
Greatness; or Peafantry to Nobility? Becauſe I am born
à Scavenger, muft I challenge a Place at the Council
Table; or fue for a Dukedom, becauſe my Family
wants a Coat of Arms? Is it not as ridiculous to dignify
Matter with Afeity, becauſe it borders upon Nothing, as
to make it independent, becauſe it cannot exift without
fome Form?
Theom. It's right, Independence is neither founded on
Imperfection, nor Perfection, but on its Nature.
Eufeb. What do you mean? Is not Afeity a Perfe-
Єtion?
Theom. Yes.
Eufeb. Therefore the Exigence of Afeity founded in
Matter muſt be a Perfection; for certainly to claim a
Perfection as a Debt, not a Gift, is one; but how do
you know this Exigence is founded on the Nature of
Matter? A Gentleman's Word will not pafs current a-
mongſt
}
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
425
mongſt Philoſophers, as it does amongſt Taylors and
Vintners: They require Caution, thoſe ipfe dixit Days
expir'd with old Pythagoras, and according to the pre-
fent Conflitution of Mankind, will not revive in our
Time: Tell me then, by what myfterious Light have
you diſcovered, that Afeity is entail'd on Matter; that
it's a Branch of Birth-Right? I conceive an Affertion may
be prov'd two ways, either by Authority or Reafon;
could you fubpoena a Brace of eternal Witneffes, they
might go far to the clearing the Point in Controverſy,
but there are few of that Stamp in the Nation; they are
as rare as a reaſonable Atheiſt: Seeing therefore Witnefles
cannot relieve you, you muſt retreat to Reafon; regale
us, I befeech you, with a Demonftration.
Theom. We find by Experience, that Matter is not
liable to Corruption; tho' Compounds rife and fall, it
tands immoveable; it neither lofes any thing by Time,
nor gains: There was no more a thouſand Years ago
than to Day, nor will there be leſs in future Ages, than
at prefent, it therefore will be eternal, and if it will be
eternal, it has been ab æterno.
Eufeb. You prove well, that as Matter cannot be
corrupted, ſo it cannot be generated, and by conſequence
will be eternal; fo far you are in the Right: But then
it does not follow it was a fe ab æterno, becauſe it might
have been created; for the Impoffibility of Creation can-
not be inferr'd from any true Principle: Nay, I have
prov'd already, that Matter could not be a ſe, ſo that
your Argument falls to the Ground, and without any
Prejudice to the force of my Proof.
Secondly, If Matter be ens a fe, and eternal, neceffary,
and independent Being, it is actus purus, i. e. it had no
Capacity to receive any more Perfections, than thoſe it
poſleſs'd ab æterno; for there is no Reaſon why it ſhould
poffefs one more than another: Therefore ab æterno, it
either poffefs'd no Perfection, which deſtroys the Hypo-
thefis, or all: If it had all, it cannot receive any more;
therefore if it be eternal a fe, neceffary and independent, it
is actus purus, incapable of any further Perfection.
Again, if it be necessary and independent, it cannot
lofe any Perfection it had ab æterno; becauſe, if it could,
that might be, and might not be, and by confequence
would not be intrinfically neceffary; befides, as it de-
pends
426 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
pends on its felf alone for its Being, fo nothing diſtinct
can poffibly deſtroy it.
Hence it follows, that whatever is eternal a fe, necef
fary and independent, muſt be unalterable; for all Change
is a Motion, either from a greater Perfection to a leſs, or
from a lefs to a greater, or at leaſt to an equal: Seeing
therefore an eternal, neceffary and independent Being is
actus purus, uncapable either of acquiring or lofing any
Perfection, it must be unalterable.
Hence it follows, that Matter cannot be eternal, ne-
ceffary and independent: Firft, becauſe it is an incom-
pleat Being, and has a natural Tendency to Forms; 'tis,
as I may fay, out of its Element, in a State of Violence
and Longing, until it compaffes a perfect Body, and
cannot naturally exist without the actual Exercife of that
Office: To be therefore a Part is one of Matter's Per-
fections, becauſe nothing can naturally defire, what is
not a natural Perfection: Now I have prov'd already
that no perfect Species could be eternal, therefore Matter
did acquire fome new Perfection when thofe Species be-
gan, which it had not before; hence it follows, that
Matter is neither actus purus, nor unalterable, becauſe
in time it acquir'd a Perfection which it had not ab æterno,
and by confequence is not a fe, neceſſary and independent;
therefore it was created by an All-powerful Agent, which
we call God.
Theom. We are bemir'd in Ariftotle's Materia prima,
and fliptinto the Syftem of fubftantial Forms: You would
fcare me with old Peripateticifm, and put off obſolete
Dreams for Demonſtration: That counterfeit Coin is
call'd in, and only goes current at Salamanca in Spain,
where Antiquity has the fame Charms as Novelty has
with us: They ſtick to old Opinions, as they do to old
Faſhions, and will no more part with Aristotle, than the
Chineſe with their Beards: But we have degraded the Sta-
girite. To fwear in verba Magiftri, is an Incroachment
upon our Liberty; in fine, Sir, Materia prima is an
empty Name, and fubftantial Forms a groundleſs Inven-
tion; and your Demonftration is void of all Force, be-
cauſe it relies on Fiction and Viſion.
;
Eufeb. I neither declare for Ariftotle nor Gaffendus,
nor have a greater Inclination for Des Cartes, than the
Chymifts: My Proof runs thro' any Hypothefis, and is
calcu-
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
427
calculated up for all Syftems. Tell me your Opinion,
that I may model my Argument, and point it againſt
your Evafion.
Theom. What we call Matter, is nothing but a complex
of various fimple Bodies ab æterno; they by an innate
Quality scour about, and by a mutual Concourſe frame
thofe Compounds that ftock the Univerfe: The Varie-
ty only confifts in the Diverfity of Combinations: When
fuch a Number of hot, dry, and moift Atoms cling toge-
ther, up ftarts a Horfe; the fame may be faid of Mixts:
They differ meerly accidentally, and have no other Form
(if I may fay fo) than the Teleity of the Mixture; hence
it comes, that Matter is not fubject to Changes, and
is only capable of a new extrinfick Perfection: Befides
thofe Atoms being perfect in themfelves, have no Bent
or Inclination to compound: They are as content in a
State of Separation, as of Compofition; and as willingly
form a Worm as a Monarch: Tho' therefore Species were
not ab æterno afe, Matter enjoin'd all its natural Perfec-
tions ab æterno, and is withal unchangeable, unleſs you
call a new Situation, Alteration, &c. So that you must.
forge a new Demonftration, if you intend to argue Mat-
ter out of Afeity.
Eufeb. I fuppofe you do not expect a Confutation of
your Syſtem, it lies at prefent quite out of my Way,
and can be no Part of my Tafk: I difcharge my Duty,
if I fhew, that the Atomistical Hypothefis does not wea-
ken the Force of my Reafon : Notwithſtanding I must tell
you, a wife Man will not eafily believe, that dull and
dead Atoms are able to frame a living Creature: For
certainly Life is fomething more than the bare Motion
of hot, moist, and dry Atoms, and an Atheiſt muſt have
as mean an Opinion of himſelf as of God, before he can
affert, that the only Diftinction between him and an In-
fect, lies in the Difference of the Mixture: Methinks,
fuch an Opinion might difpofe him to Modefty: Nay, of
all Men, he ſhould be the leaft prefuming, who acknow-
ledges ſuch a baſe Extraction, and puts no other Diffe-
rence between him and a Brute, than between fine Hol-
land and Scotch Cloth: Yet, upon Experiment, theſe are
the great Pretenders of Mankind, who while they con-
fefs themſelves fo near ally'd to Beafts, adore their Ex-
cellencies, and fall down before Calves, as the Jews did
in
428
The GENTLEMAN Inſtructed.
in the Wilderneſs: Indeed he that wants Leiſure or Capa-
city to examine his Nature, or perfuades himſelf his
better Part is immortal, may grow vain upon a kind
Preſumption, or the real Conviction of ſuch a towering
Perfection; but for a Man to be proud, who pretends to
demonftrate his own Bafeneſs, is little leſs than Frenzy:
Now pray attend, Atoms, you fay, have an intimate
Principle of Motion; Nature, as we find by Experience,
always works fome End, therefore that Motion of the
Atoms has fome End; we cannot diſcover the Ends
better than by the Effects, the Effects are Compounds,
therefore the End of that Motion inherent in the Mat-
ter is Compound; hence it follows, that actually to con-
ſtitute a compos'd Body, is a Perfection of the Matter,
becauſe it is a Poleffion of the End, to which Nature
inclines it; but it did not poffefs this End ab æterno,
therefore ab æterno it wanted fome Perfection, of which
it was capable; therefore 'tis alterable, and by confe-
quence not eternal a fe, befides if it had not all the Per-
fections ab æterno, it poffeffes them in Time, it had no
Perfections ab æterno; becauſe there is no Reaſon why it
ſhould have one, and not all others of which it is capa-
ble. Wherefore I conclude it was not ab æterno a ſe,
neither will it avail you to reply, theſe Perfections are
accidental; first, becauſe ens a fe can have no accidental
Perfection, for whatever it has is neceffary and indentify'd
with its Nature; and Secondly, becauſe it is actus purus,
as I faid before.
Theom. This is ridiculous to Excefs! What if a Ball of
Wax was a fe, could I not mould it into a Cube, not
melt it down? You return a Paradox for an Anſwer.
Eufeb. You muſt not wonder if one Abfurdity begets
another, a ridiculous confequence flows from a ridicu-
lous Antecedent; and one Paradox is the beſt Proof of
another. To expect Reaſon from Nonſenſe, is to gape
after Impoffibilities. If you fuppofe a Sphere of Wax
eternal a fe, either that Figure was neceffary, or it was
not; if it was not, who caft it into that Form? Why was
it a Sphere rather than a Cube? If it owes the Deter-
mination to fome exterior Principle, then the Wax was
not a fe, becauſe the Figure was not: If that Figure was
neceflary, the Nature of the Wax requir'd it; if the Na-
tue of the Wax requir'd it, it can be deſtroy'd no more
than
The GENTLEMAN Înftructed. 429
than the Nature: But if you fuppofe that Sphere a ſe,
the Nature of the Wax cannot poffibly be deſtroy'd,
therefore neither can the Figure; indeed that Wax would
be very ſtubborn, but Impoffibilities are an inflexible
Generation, and can no more be brought over to Rea-
fon, than Atheiſts. The World therefore is not eternal
afe, nor any Part of it; whence it remains, that a moft
powerful Author drew it out of Nothing, to whom we
owe our Being and Converſation, and by confequence
Homage.
Theom. Is this all you have to fay to the Point?
Eufeb. I could enlarge on the Matter; but for the
prefent, I leave the Arguments to your Confideration.
We lie under a Dilemma; if they hold good, they will
ſtand upon Record againſt you; if not, againſt me;
which I fuppofe will be no unacceptable Revenge. You
will have the Satisfaction of laughing at the Vanity of
the Attempt, and of applauding your Abilities into the
Bargain.
DIALOGUE XXI.
The fixth Proof. Tho' there were a GOD, he cannot con-
vince thofe Atheists of his Being, who refuſe Aſſent to
the foregoing Proofs.
Eufeb. Have worſted you in the Judgment of Autho-
TH
rity, and have difpatch'd Part of your Excep-
tions: We are come to the laft Tribunal of Reaſon, and
if I have the good Fortune to foil you here, our Suit is at
an End; and certainly I have all the Grounds in the
World to hope a favourable Iffue, for Reafon never re-
verſes the Sentence of univerfal Tradition, when back'd
with a hundred Reafons.
In the firft Place; you cannot admit the World to be
eternal a fe, without ftriking upon a manifeft Abfurdity;
now Abfurdities cannot poffibly flow from Truth; they
are the Children of Falfhood, and the Offspring of Error.
Theom. If you can fhew that the Hypothefis of the
World's Eternity leads to any thing that claſhes with Rea-
fon, or borders upon Error, without doubt I lie at your
Mercy :
430
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Mercy: The Confequence takes after the Antecedent's
and 'tis impoffible for that to be ridiculous, without this
be erroneous.
Euſeb. You have granted, That if there be a God, he
can manifeſt his Being to Men, by fome fenfible Effect of
his Omnipotence.
Theom. I have, and a Man muft take Pleaſure in Folly,'
and dote on Contradictions, before he can deny a Truth
fo evident: For to confeſs an omnipotent Being, and to
refufe him the Power of manifefting himſelf by fome ex-
terior Sign to a Creature who is furniſh'd with Senfes,
and endow'd with Reafon, is a flat Contradiction.
Eufeb. I am glad to hear fo ingenious a Confeffion:
Pray therefore take Notice; if God intended to diſco
ver himſelf by an exterior Sign, he would chufe fome
ftately Work worthy of his Power, and fuitable to his
Grandeur.
Theom. He would.
Eufeb. Let us then fuppofe for fome Moments, that
you and I ſlept in our Beds of pure Poffibility; that we
are now, what we were a thouſand Years ago, very No-
things. Let us ſuppoſe befides, that all things elfe fall in-
to the fame State of Impotence; that an infinite Being
exifts alone, and refolves to communicate his Perfections.
to fome Creatures, and to manifeft himſelf to Man, the
moſt perfect Piece of his Power. Immediately one Fiat
calls a glorious Fabrick from an eternal Nothing, uniform
in Variety, and various in Uniformity: A Creature dig-
nified with Reaſon, fet off with Senfes, and enrich'd with
a hundred noble Qualities, marches at the Head of this
new-born Multitude: He admires at the ftately Archi-
tecture of the infant World, the multiplicity of Parts, the
ftupendious Contrivance and Harmony of the whole:
Can he, or his Pofterity by the Force of Reafon come to
the Knowledge of the Deity that made it? According to
your Principles they cannot: For tho' we fuppofe this
new-fram'd World a thouſand Times more perfect than
that we live in, they may conclude it was eternal, as now
you do, and they have a better Plea, becauſe we fup-
poſe it more perfect. 'Tis true, the first Man knows he
is not eternal, but of what Standing the World is, or
how it comes to be, is a Myſtery: He may afcribe hiŝ
good Luck to Chance or his own Nature, as well as you;
but
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 431
but if we come to his Defcendants, they will be at a
puzzle for the Original of their Genealogy: They can
arrive at the Knowledge of it, either by Tradition or
Reaſon; and if by either, or both thefe Means they can
be aſcertain'd they had a Beginning, why are not you
affur'd we had one? For which way fhall they meet with
a more diffufive Tradition, or more pregnant Arguments
than we have for the Beginning of this World? If the
Structure of the new-fuppos'd World be admirable to
Amazement, that of the old is furprizing: If there ap-
pear in the Conſtitution of that, as many Characters of
Wiſdom and Power, as Parts, the very Blind may read.
as many in the Frame of this; that may open us a Per-
fpective of Miracles, and this unfolds a Scene of Won-
ders: If therefore in fpight of Tradition and Reaſon, in
fpight of the moft vifible Characters of Wiſdom and
Power; in fine, maugre as many Wonders as there are
Objects without us, or Veins, Mufcles and Arteries
within us, Atheiſts deny this World had any other Author
than its own Neceffity and Independency; why may not
the Atheiſts of the new World elude the Force of Tradi-
tion and Reafon by your wretched Evafion? They may
certainly entrench themſelves in the Hypothefis of Eter-
nity, and out-face, by your Example, downright De-
monftration.
Theom. Tho' indeed theſe new Gentlemen would be
at a Nonplus, as well as we; and I believe that would
vie Incredulity with this, yet God might manifeft him-
felf many Ways: First, By infufing into all Men as clear
a Conviction of his Being, as we have of the firſt Prin-
ciples of Reafon Secondly, By teaching them fome De-
monſtration, that he created the World, which lies out
of Sight: And Thirdly, By divine Revelation. Thefe
Methods are very feafible, and I fancy would do the
Bufinefs.
Eufeb. First, All thofe Ways are fupernatural: Now
'tis very ſtrange that Omnipotence fhould want Power to
frame a Work capable to point out to a rational Creature
its divine Contriver, without the Affiftance of Miracles:
But again, tho' God fhould infuſe into all thoſe Inhabi-
tants of the new World, as clear a Knowledge of their
Origin, as of the firft Principles, do you think all De-
bates would vanifh at the Approach of that glaring
Light?
432
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
1
Light? Have not Men deny'd the Truth of theſe great
Principles in ſpite of Conviction, altho' they had no
other Temptation to be fooliſh, but the Pleaſure of con
tradicting? And why fhould you expect in your Cafe a
more reaſonable Procedure? Eſpecially when the omni-
potent Motives of Lewdneſs and Epicurifm, that debauch
your Underſtanding, would corrupt and bribe theirs: For
they may oppoſe againſt Demonſtration theſe Arguments
which fupport your Obftinacy, and buoy up your Infi-
delity. I cannot conceive how it is poffible for an infi-
nite Mercy, and an infinite Juftice to meet in the fame
Subject, how Juftice can pardon, or Mercy puniſh;
therefore, there is no fuch Thing.
To fay fomething can be made of nothing, is to croſs
upon Reaſon; to build new Principles upon the Ruin of
the old, and by confequence to break down the Inclo-
fure between Sophiftry and Demonftration, Truth and
Falfhood; therefore the World was not created: Nay,
'twas poffible to be ab æterno, therefore it was. What
Evidence can be fecure from the Attempts of theſe Ar-
guments? They dare attack Euclid, and huff Apollonius :
If refolute Denials pafs content for Proofs, and Poffibi-
lities for Demonftrations, we pass all things on Cour-
tefy. A Man that dares look a Fool in the Face, may
do ftrange Execution; he may deny us into Nothing,
and by the fly Turn of a Poffibility demonſtrate us out
of Being.
Theom. Nay, a Man that is refolv'd to pufh Folly
home, may puzzle a fix form Philofopher, yet the De-
feat of the one, will prove more glorious than the Victo
ry of the other; but then I thought Evidence carried
before it, and captivated more Underſtandings than the
Grand Seignior has enflav'd Chriftians.
Eufeb. Evidence indeed is generally victorious, but
oftentimes 'tis over-match'd: A Man feconded by Preju-
dice or Intereft, ftands immoveable; you muſt change
his Circumſtances before he will alter his Opinion: His
Underſtanding never changes Sides, unleſs Intereſt mar-
ches off firft; but when this wheels about, that follows
through a thouſand Errors. The Sun has Beams enough,
not only to fill, but even to dazzle a well-difpos'd Eye;
but if a Film croffes the Pupil, or a Cataract interpoles
between the Cryftal, in fpight of Light the Organ re-
mains
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 433
mains in Obfcurity, and the Patient finds the Effects of
Night, and the Horror of Darkneſs at Mid-day: Thus
the Caufe ftands with the Underſtanding. I grant thofe
People we talk of would have Proofs fufficient to content
a well-difpofed Underftanding, and fo have you; but
if they are haunted with the Spirit of Difpute and Ob-
ftinacy, if Intereft ftands againſt Creation and God, the
Intellect falls prefently into Diſorder, Mifts arife, and
Fumes interpofe; and when 'tis thus difmounted, Evi-
dence by a kind of Antipariftafis produces Obftinacy, not
Conviction, and rather hardens the Heart than foftens
the Brain.
Your fecond Means is expos'd to the fame Exceptions:
I do not queftion but God can draw a Legion of Demon-
ftrations from the Conftitution of the World to evince
he made it, which are not within the reach of our
Knowledge: Yet if the new-found World Atheiſts are
of the fame Temper with thofe of our Horizon, they will
difpute their Ground, and never furrender, till the Fire
of Hell acts upon Senfe, and fo conveys Truth into
the Underſtanding by eternal Sufferings: For as you (a-
gainſt the common Vote of Mankind, againſt the plain
Conviction of Reafon) caft Creation out of Doors, both
as needlefs and impoffible, what hinders them from fol-
lowing your Foot-ſteps, and oppofing to all Demonftra-
tions thefe groundlefs Conjectures, that fupport your In-
credulity? If you fay a Man that dares fly in the Face
of Evidence is a Moniter, that he ought rather to be caned
than argu'd into Reaſon, you are in the right; but theſe
Monſters over-run the World, they are grown ſo com-
mon, that they rather pleaſe than aftonifh; for now an
inflexible Obftinacy, and a mighty Wit are become fy-
nonimous, and 'tis far more warrantable and modifh to
ftand cloſe to Intereft, than to yield to the Force of
Reafon.
I cannot guess why Revelation fhould prove more
effectual than Demonftration; thefe inward Lights are
always accompany'd with fome Abfurdity; and though
they illuminate, they leave us in the dark: An unwary
Man may eafily be deluded, he may mistake Tempta-
tion for Infpiration, and the Voice of God for the Spirit
of Fornication. We remember yet what mad Pranks
our Fathers faw the laft Age, when People rebell'd by
F f
divine
:
434
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
divine Impulfe, and executed their Prince on a Scaffold
by Revelation; when they bled their Fellow-Subjects
Purſes, and then their Veins, by the Command of the
Spirit; when they tranfgrefs'd God's Laws by Providence,
and thoſe of Nature by Infpiration: And as Men fanati-
cally inclin❜d, take every Impulſe of Paffion for divine Re-
velation; fo they who love Libertinifm look upon Reve-
lation it ſelf as an Illufion, they will admit of nothing
Divine, but Senfuality, they examine Truth by the Stan-
dard of Pleaſure, and whatever baulks Appetite is Spleen
and Viſion: One would think the Revelation of the
World's Creation made fo many thouſand Years ago to
Mofes, is certain almoſt to Evidence; it has undergone
the Examen of Ages, and the Criticism of obftinate In-
credulity, it has triumph'd over Ignorance, conquer'd Ma-
lice, and fham'd thoſe it could not convince; I do not ſee
how a particular Revelation can be more perfuafive than
that which has been put a thouſand times to the Teft;
nor how this can force an Underſtanding againſt the Biafs
of Intereft, that will not come over to the other: For
ftill you may run to your old Retrenchment, The World
was poffible ab æterno, therefore it was ab æterno; id eft,
you may take begging the Queftion for Proving, and
Impudence for Reaſon.
Theo. What think you, if God fhould take you and
me by the Hair, as you fancy an Angel did Habakkuk,
and poft us away to the imaginary Spaces above the Em-
pyreum? If he fhould appear in Majefty, and regale our
Sight with a Scene of Creation?
Eufeb. Why, I think you would be amazed, but not
convinc'd; you mounted an Atheist, and would return
one.
Theo. That's ftrange!
Eufeb. 'Tis fo indeed; yet not more ſtrange, than that
after fo many Proofs of a Divinity, you remain in Infi-
delity: For if God did appear, he muſt borrow ſome ſen-
fible Shape; human Eyes are too feeble to gaze upon a
Spirit: The Glory of a Divinity dazzles them; they
fink under the Splendor of the Omnipotent. Now, he
has appear'd already under the Form of Fire and Smoak
to a whole Army, not able to bear his Majeſty, and this
Appearance is made fo credible, that he who will not be-
lieve fo many thouſand Eyes, muft be a Fool to believe
two:
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 435
:
two: Again, how do you know but this World eter-
nally floated (like a fwimming Ifland) in the vaft Ocean
of thoſe imaginary Spaces; and by a lucky Puff of
Chance, or Storm of Atoms, was wafted over to you in
the Nick of Time? Thefe Cafualties are, I hope, pof-
fible: Befides, that unlucky Principle, ex nihilo nihil fit,
might gravel your Underſtanding above, as now it does
below, for Situation makes no Alteration in Truth or
Falfhood; if it be evident here, it will be evident there;
and if it appear Sophiftry in the new World, why ſhould
it pafs for Demonftration in the old? But if this fhould
chance to work upon you, your Fellow-Atheiſts would
be where they are, unless God fhould fall upon new
Creations, and cure their Infidelity by condefcending to
their Pride, and fatisfying their Curiofity: But then you
would condemn him to a Drudgery more infupportable
than that of looking after Flies. He muft, it feems,
Work, if not for his Living, at leaft for Adoration He
muft fawn on Atheiſts to deferve their Protection, and
ſerve an Apprenticeſhip to be acknowledg'd for their
Mafter.
DIALOGUE XXII.
The most plausible Exceptions of Atheists against the
World's Creation are refuted.
Eufeb. Have done with my Arguments, which muſt
I
be very fatisfactory, unlefs you can invalidate
them by urgent Reafons, and prove by Evidence a priori,
or at leaſt from the very Nature and Conftitution of the
World, that it was impoffible to be made: Favour me
therefore with a fhort Lift of your Reafons, range them,
if you pleafe, in Rank and File, draw them up to the
beſt Advantage, and make the most of them; yet I fancy,
when all is done, you muſt eſtabliſh the World's Eternity
by begging heartily, not by proving it; and if I ftay,
till you evince it by Reafon, the World may have an
End, before you prove Hazard or Neceffity give it a
Beginning.
Ff*
Abee
436
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Theo. In the first place; we cannot give the World
a Beginning without forcing Reafon, and impofing on
our Underſtanding. This Doctrine must be fupported
on the Ruins of first Principles, and whofoever abets
it muft abjure thofe great Truths, that Mankind avows
to be the Standard and Meaſure of all others. Ex nihilo
nibil fit is the common Voice of Nature; 'tis too clear
to be prov'd; it fhines on the Underftanding, as the Sun
does on our Eyes; and we can as foon find Night at
Mid-day, as Fallacy in the Axiom; yet if we admit
Creation, we muft dafh out this Principle, and by the
fame Authority cafheer all others, and then, as blind
Men, we ſhall walk in the dark, we fhall diſcourſe
without Rule, argue without Reafon, and, like the Dog
in the Fable, chop at the Shadow for the Subſtance, i. e.
we fhall miſtake Falfhood for Truth, and Error for De-
monftration.
Secondly, 'Tis an undoubted Maxim in Philofophy,
that to boulfter up an Opinion, we muſt not multiply
things without Neceffity, Non funt multiplicanda antea
fine Neceffitate. Now there is no need to forge an infinite
Being, for the World might be of it ſelf ab æterno: The
moft fubtle Logician in the World can never make it
appear that the Hypothefis implies a Contradiction in
Terminis, or even by Inference. To what purpoſe do
we entangle our felves in Difficulties? Why do we frame
an omnipotent, wife, and juft Creator, with a thouſand.
other pompous Titles, both unintelligible and frightful?
Have Fears and Apprehenfions fuch raviſhing Charms?
Cannot our Underſtandings be pleas'd unleſs they are
nonplus'd? Nor be fatisfied unless we hang them on the
Tenters?
Thirdly, A thoufand Parts of the Univerſe feem not
only fuperfluous, but noxious: They are too vile even
to make a Shew, and are only fit to increaſe the Num-
ber of Creatures, fo that they reach not the Quality of
Mutes, that ferve, at leaft, for Pomp and Oftentation:
Yet were they barely without Employment, without
Station or Defign, I would let them lie quiet in the State
of Idleneſs; but alas, they were Executioners by Nature,
as well as Office, and enter into the World to plague it :
For Example, if there were a God, can you imagine he
would fo far abafe his Power, or proftitute his Wiſdom,
as
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
437
as to produce Lice and Fleas? That he would foul his
Fingers with Toads; or condemn his Omnipotence to
dig Flies out of Dunghills? Methinks it would fuit bet-
ter with three grand Attributes of a Deity, Power, Wif-
dom and Goodness, to clear the World of thefe Plagues,
than to ſtock it: Plagues I call them, for their very End
is Miſchief; fome torment a Man, others kill him, and
the leaſt troubleſome moleft him. You know, Sir, what
a Figure Domitian makes in Story, for his unbefeeming
Diverfions; if it be beneath a Man to flay Vermin, 'tis
certainly below God to make them. Had I an Inclina-
tion to believe the World was made, I would turn Ma-
nichean, and rather admit two firft Principles than one:
Now if theſe Infects were not created, why fhould I ad-
mit a creating Principle of any thing elſe? Come, Sir,
let us fay rather, all things were of themfelves, than
vote God the Drudgery of making them. They are be-
low the Care of an infinite Majefty, and the Power of
the Omnipotent. I am perfuaded 'tis lefs irrational to
deny a God, than to affign him the moſt fordid Employ-
ments; firft, of producing Lice, Fleas and Toads, and
then of conferving them. I have many other Excepti-
ons againſt your Opinion; but theſe fuffice to diſcard it
even of Probability.
Eufeb. You have propos'd your Difficulties, I will
return an Anſwer. To the Firft, indeed a Man cannot
perfuade himſelf the World was the Product of Necef-
fity or Chance, without affronting Reafon, and tricking
his underſtanding: To ally thofe infinite Perfections of
Eternity and Independence with the Vileneſs of creeping
Infects, is to bring to one Centre, Extreams that can never
meet: 'Tis to raiſe Vermin above their Level, and pull
down thofe vaft Perfections below theirs: 'Tis to inveſt
Toads and Frogs with the Appurtenances of the Divinity,
and to cloath 'em, like the Daw in the Fable, with gaudy
Plumes that belong to another: But when we make
God Author of the World, we ftumble upon no Abfur-
dity; for tho' the World be a ftately Work, yet I con-
ceive it neither furpaffes the Power nor the Skill of a
moft powerful and moft wife Artift. Omnipotence has
certainly an excellent Knack at making, and an infinite
Wiſdom at contriving. Seeing therefore the Perfection of
the Work is not above the Abilities of the Architect, we
Ff3
do
„
438
The
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
do not on this Account tranfgrefs any known Principle
if we afcribe it to him.
Indeed, by admitting Creation, I baniſh your ex nihilo
nihil fit, from the Number of Principles; but I do not
at all intrench upon Nature, nor encroach upon the Pre-
rogative of the Underſtanding by out-lawing it: 'Tis guil-
ty of Intruſion, and holds the Place by the favour of Ïg-
norance: Thoſe People who firſt principled it, were with-
out Principles themfelves, they knew not the Extent of
Omnipotence, nor invaded its Privileges. An omnipotent
Power can do any thing that is poffible, i. e. that implies
not a Contradiction: Shew me, if you can,a Contradiction
that an All-powerful Being should make ſomething without
the Help of previous Matter; if you cannot, your Principle
is juftly degraded: Nor will other Maxims be involv'd in
its difgrace; they'll keep their Poſt in ſpight of Oppofiti-
on, and receive fubmiffion from Reafon, where e'er they
meet it: But if you fuffer your Maxim to be reftrain'd,
and not let it ramble into the other World, I'll embrace it
with open Arms, as Ocellus and Ariftotle did: Yet in this
Cafe it will fignify no more than that all natural Gene-
rations fuppofe a Subject; and in this Senfe I fay of your
Principle, what one faid of Euclid's firft Demonſtration;
They were fo plain, that an Afs could not miss them: In a
Word, ex nihilo nihil fit. Nature can give Being and
Life to no new Productions, unleſs ſhe has a Subject to
work on: In this Point ſhe has no Prerogative above a
Carver, tho' in the other fhe far exceeds, for her Works
are more fine and delicate; ſhe gives Life, the other's Skill
ftops at Figure: But if we look upon God, your Principle
is out of Doors; he can not only work on Matter, but
make it: This argues, you'll fay, an Excefs of Power;
'tis true, but yet it does not out ftretch Omnipotence.
To the Second, I anſwer, your Argument faulters in
every Part; it proves too much, and by confequence juft
nothing: It ftands for either fide of the Contradiction,
and therefore fupports neither. For as you argue thus,
"Twas poffible for the World to exift of it felf, therefore we
must not father it upon any fuperior Agent: So by the fame
Logick I may conclude, that either all the Materials,
that compofe London, rang'd themfelves in that fine Order
we fee them, or that Chance and Hazard blunder'd up-
on it, becauſe either way is poffible: Nay, methinks your
Argument
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 439
Argument pleads for any Abfurdity: 'Tis poffible for
Stones to ſpeak, therefore for ought we know they do,
when they are alone, and if they keep Silence in our Com-
pany, 'tis out of the fame Policy Baboons were mute in
America, (as the Indians told the Spaniards,) viz. to avoid
their Cruelty. 'Tis poffible for an excellent Watch to
ſtart up from a cafual Combination of Atoms ; let us
therefore out-law Tompion, and tranſport the whole Com-
pany of Watch-makers into Virginia to plant Tobacco;
their Art is fuperfluous in England, as well as their Per-
fons, fince Poffibility has fet up Shop, Watches will pour
in upon us by thouſands, we make take them up as the
Jews did Quails, and when we have made our own Pro-
vifion, pleature a Friend with half a Dozen.
Theo. You are in a Vein of Pleafantry, but Arguments
are feldom laught out of Countenance. If Poffibility be a
weak Proof, Mirth is a feeble Solution.
Eufeb. You wrong me, Sir, I am as ferious as the Mat-
ter will bear, and if my Difcourfe has any thing of Mirth,
you are beholden to the Subject for the Diverfion. A
Buffoon under a grave Diſguiſe, may be miſtaken for a
venerable Alderman, but when he is cas'd, the Alderman
retires to make room for Scaramouch. To treat Foole-
ries with Reſpect, is to mifplace Ceremony; and not to
lay them open, is but a Degree from abetting them.
Theo. If Contempt can baffle an Argument, the moſt
ftrict Demonſtrations are not fecure: By your leave, Sir,
you either miſtake the Strefs of my Reafon, or fling in a
handful of piquant Railleries, to evade it: Pray attend;
from this Antecedent, 'Twas poffible for the World to be ab
eterno a fe, this Inference follows, therefore it did exift:
For if the World was poffible ab eterno, 'tis a neceffary
and independent Being; but 'tis evident that a neceffary
and independent Being is eternal, therefore if the World
were poffible ab æterno, 'tis manifeft it did exift a fe ab
aterno; and therefore, all Recourſe to a Deity is vain
and fuperfluous. What Abfurdity can be found in fo
plain a Difcourfe, but that a Man of Wit did not com-
prehend it?
Eufeb. Your Arguments with thefe Amendments is ftill
defective; it proves not at all the Queſtion, but impu-
dently begs it. For it amounts to this, that the World
was ab æterno, therefore it was ab æterno. If you intend
F f 4
to
440
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
to make any thing of your Enthymem, prove firſt the An-
tecedent, and then we will confider what is to be done
with the Confequence. Now I have already prov'd the
World could not poffibly exiſt ab æterno (as you ſuppoſe)
without any other Proof than a bare Affertion. In the
mean time, methinks this Argument proves as forcibly
the Contradiction of your Thefis; 'twas not poffible for the
World to exift of itſelf ab æterno, therefore it did not.
You will put me without doubt to the Proof of the Ante-
cedent, and with Reafon; for till that be eſtabliſh'd, no-
thing can be concluded: But then the fame Talk lies on
your Hands, and till you have evinc'd that 'twas poffible
for the World to exift of itſelf ab æterno, your Conclufi-
on muſt lie dormant.
To the third I anfwer: To pronounce on Things at
random, either marks a great Pride, or a fuperlative Igno-
rance: You cannot judge which Springs are ufeful in a
Watch, which are fuperfluous, unless you comprehend
the Frame of that artificial Fabrick; and certainly you
would conclude very ill, that fuch a Wheel was needlefs,
becauſe you did not underſtand its Office. The World
is a curious Engine compos'd of ten Millions of fecret
Springs, do you know the Nature of each? If you do
not, pray diffect them, and expofe the Anatomy to our
Contemplation? If you do, you are unfit to fit on the
Bench; your Sentence is both rafh and erroneous, and
you deſerve to ſtand at the Bar for having difgrac'd_the
Tribunal. You muſt remember this Axiom of St. Tho-
mas, Perfecta bonitas in rebus creatis, non inveniretur, nifi
effet ordo Bonitatis, The Perfection of Creatures would be
defective, if there were no Degrees, no Order of Perfecti..
on: We fhould tarnish the Luftre, and impair the Beau-
ty of the Univerfe, if we diminifh'd the Multitude, or
temper'd the Difproportion of fo many Things, that by a
moft admirable Diffention, and a moft concording Dif-
cord confpire to the Grace and Harmony of the whole:
Had you been call'd to Counſel by the Maker of the
World, you would have perfuaded him to frame it all of
Gold or Diamonds; as that unskilful Painter, who not
being able to copy out the charming Features of Hellen,
hid them together with his Ignorance under an embroi-
dered Manteau, and fo inftead of a fair Woman, drew no-
thing but ſhining Drapery. No Creature is fuperfluous,
that
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 44%
that can proclaim its great Mafter's Glory and Majefty;
this is a noble Employment, worthy of the Seraphins,
yet not above the Capacity of Flies and Spiders. Vile
Infects are quickned by the Almighty, and nothing but
an Omnipotent Hand can frame them: The Power of
your Alexanders and Cæfars was never able to breathe
Life into a Worm: The one pillag'd the Eaft indeed, and
welter'd in Blood and Slaughter of Innocents; the other,
like a Tempeft, fwept all the Weft before him; yet after
they had butcher'd a Million of Men, they were not able
to give Life to a Caterpillar: Befides, how dare you
term theſe poor Creatures idle, of whom God makes uſe
to confound the Pride of Atheiſts, and to read continual
Leffons of Humility to all Men? Thefe Gentlemen are
incredulous, becauſe they over-rate their Parts; they fup-
poſe, if there were a God, their piercing Wits would
make ſtrange Diſcoveries; and becauſe the Majefty of a
Deity dazzles their battiſh Eye-fight, they rather chufe to
plunge into Fidelity, than to acknowledge their Igno-
rance: To cure this infolent Frenzy, God has flung theſe
puny Creatures in your Way; he bids you examine the
fine Contexture of each Part if you can, the Ufe of every
Muſcle, the Nature of their Souls, and of all thofe hidden
Springs that caufe Life and Motion; and when you
have learnt this A, B, C, it will be time enough to afcend
to more fublime Contemplation. Now, Sir, neither you,
nor the greateſt Philofopher that ever breath'd, can give a
tolerable Account of the moft defpicable Infect: You
know neither its Nature, nor half its Properties: You are as
ill inform'd of its Caufes, as of its Effects; and the va-
rious Syſtems of Generation and Corruption are but fo
many Demonſtrations of God's Power, and Man's Weak-
nefs. So that God lays before you theſe Vermin as a Re-
medy againſt Pride, and what is more, againſt Atheiſm:
He blunts thofe Darts you level againft him by interpo-
fing Flies and Lice; he difarms your Infolence, and
ftrikes out of your Hands thofe Arguments you employ
againſt him. I cannot, fay you, comprehend God; an
infinite Being paffes my Conception; therefore there is no
fuch Thing: You might as well infer, that all you fee is
nothing but a Scene of Fallacy and Illufion; that you
and I are meer Fantafms and Spectres, the Product of
Imagination; for there is not one fingle thing in the
whole
442
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
whole Mass of Creation, you comprehend. Your Un-
derſtanding falls under the Weight of a Straw, you can-
not tell whether it has Parts or no Parts, before the Di-
viſion; you know neither the Nature of a Stone, nor the
Properties of a Worm; you are a Stranger even in your
own Houſe, though you think, fpeak, and move;
Thoughts, Speech and Motion puzzle you; we have Af
furance indeed there is fuch Things, but if we prefs the
Inquiry a little farther, we muſt expect ſmall Satisfacti-
What Man, who finds his Underſtanding pos'd by
fuch ordinary and trivial Inſtances, who flags under the
Confideration of almoſt nothing, will be fo bold, and at
the fame time fo foolish, as to question God's Exiftence,
becauſe he cannot comprehend it? Now, though all thoſe
things you are pleas'd to call idle, had no other End, but
to gravel the great Pretenders to Omniſcience, to con-
found their Pride, and to heal their unreaſonable Incredu-
lity by Induction, they would render very good Service
both to their deluded Fellow-Creatures, and to their Om-
nipotent Creator.
on.
Befides, we have a particular Tendernefs, as well as
Value for our Bodies; we rack our Thoughts, and even
torment our Confcience to pleaſe them; they must be
pamper'd at the Expence of our Souls, tho' they burn for
the Debauch hereafter. To cure this raging Tranſport,
God applies a loathfome, but fovereign Remedy: He
fhews us what our idoliz'd Bodies are by the Infection of
Lice, Worms, and Toads they produce; and oftentimes.
this humbling Spectacle of Mortality frights us more ef
fectually to our Duty, than the Profpect of the torment-
ing Inftruments of Fire and Brimftone, Darkneſs and De-
fpair. Did thefe poor Gentlemen, who whine away at a
Female's Feet their Happineſs, Money and Souls too, but
feriouſly confider, that the Object of their Worſhip muſt
once become Food to thoſe vile Creatures you both con-
temn and abhor; that thofe Eyes they admire to Adora-
tion, will once fet in Duft, and be drown'd in Putrefacti-
on; that thofe Cheeks, that Frenzy ftiles the feat of the
Graces, will be transform'd, not only into the Throne,
but even into the Nature of Toads, Worms, and Serpents;
did they, I fay, but confider thefe obvious, but moving
Truths, they would remove their Affections to thofe noble
Objects, and then they would confefs Vermin is more.
ufeful than they imagin'd.
Again,
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 443
Again, all theſe Creatures have many uſeful Properties
we know, and more we know not: Lice, Snails and
Worms are Remedies for fome Difeafes, and I have been
'acquainted with thoſe who admir'd a Ragout of Maggots.
If Toads and Vipers are poiſonous, they alſo afford Anti-
dotes againſt Poifon; and if fometimes they kill, they as
often fave. A Soup of Vipers is a Medicine both mo-
diſh and wholfome; it fweetens the Blood, and infpirits
it. Certainly Things endowed with fuch excellent Qua-
lities, are neither fuperfluous nor idle: No, no! They
both benefit the World, and adorn it. Deus, fays St. Au
ftin, Lib. 11. de Civ. Cap. 22. ita artifex magnus in
magnis eft, ut minor non fit in parvis, que parva non fua
granditate quæ nulla eft, fed artificis fapientia metienda
eft, God is fo great a Workman in great Things, that
he is not leſs in ſmall ones; they are not to be meaſured by
their Greatneſs, becauſe they have none, but by the
Wiſdom of the Artiſt.
In fine, to conclude with William Biſhop of Paris,
Nafcitur aranea cum lege, libro & lucerna. God has in-
ſtructed all Creatures in every Point of their Duty: The
very Spider brings into the World its Rules, Book and
Torch, and knows its Leffon as foon as 'tis able to learn it.
At the firft Signal of the Omnipotent, they all fall to
Work: The Bee makes innocent Inrodes upon Flowers,
the Silk-worm fpins out its own Entrails, and weaves Roy-
al Robes for Princes, the Fifh fport in the Waters, the
Beaſts of Service expect the Commands of their Maſters,
and ſmall Seeds, tho' dead, give Life to Trees, which
bring Men both Pleaſure and Profit. Nothing is idle;
nothing refractory in the World but Men, who abufe their
Liberty to their Shame, and miſpend the precious Mo-
ments of their Lives to their eternal Ruin.
From the Superfluities of Infects you ftep over to their
Vileneſs, and indeed, if the firſt Fault were prov'd home,
I would fay guilty to the other. For certainly a thing
too inconfiderable to fill any Office in the vaft Empire of
the Univerſe, muft be meanly provided with Abilities.
I fuppofe, Sir, your Apprehenfion takes the juft Meaſure
of things, that it never over-flouriſhes Objects, but agrees
exactly with the Pattern: Your Judgment is fquar'd
by the Model in the Apprehenfion, and if this be exact,
that cannot well be miſtaken. Now I have heard Gold
fhines
444
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
fhines very glorioufly on your Head, and that you fancy
Diamonds ſparkle more in your Cabinet, than in that of
the great Mogal: Theſe things you judge neither below
your Care, nor your Efteem; and fhould I venture to
call them a bafe Lumber, vile Minerals, or childish
Trifles, you would fufpect my Prudence: Yet all the
Diamonds of the Golcundian Mines, all the Oar of Potoft ·
falls fhort of the Perfection of the vileft Animal, Gold
may fhine, but cannot breathe; Diamonds may glitter,
but cannot move; an Infect crawls in a more elevated
Sphere; it lives, and this fole Prerogative is above the
Reach and Capacity of Metal; indeed theſe things are
handſomly varniſhed; and 'tis the Colour alone that
juftifies your Efteem, and makes fome Atonement for
your Dotage. If therefore you have not quite forfaken
Reafon, either efteem Gold or Jewels lefs, or Infects
more; if thoſe are vile, you muſt think of a new World
to exprefs the Bafeneſs of the other.
I cannot diſmiſs this Argument, till I have brought the
Epicurean Part of it to examen. 'Tis below the Majeſty
of God, you fay, to extend his Care to the Direction
and Confervation of fuch defpicable Creatures; and then
very philofophically you infer he does not; but becauſe
this does not ſerve your Turn, you advance a Step, and
tell us, they may as well come into the World without
his Help, as continue without it.
Your Argument is built on a falfe Hypothefis; there
is no Creature deſpicable in the whole Univerfe but the
proud Atheiſt, who thinks fo. Hearken to Ariftotle, who
faw as far into Nature as any of our Libertines, lib. I.
de Partu Animal, cap. 5. Viliorum animalium rationem
propenfionemq; puerili faftidio fpreviffe dignum nequaquam
eft, cum nulla fit res Nature, in qua non mirandum ali-
quid inditum habeatur: To flight the Oeconomy and Per
fection of the most imperfect Animal is childish, feeing there
is nothing in Nature ſo minute and inconfiderable, that
has not fome Qualities worthy of Admiration. The Vilenefs
of the moſt abject Worm confiſts not in the Perfecton it
poffeffes, but in thoſe it wants: 'Tis relatively fo; and in
this Senfe, every limited Being is fuperlatively vile, if
compar'd with the boundleſs Perfection of the Creator.
But if we confider them in themſelves, they participate
fome faint Rays of Divine Perfections; they are the
Effects
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
445
Effects of his Power, and Objects of his Love; for had
their Natures no Similitude with the Perfections of God,
he could not have produc'd them; and did he not love.
them, he would not: Now to make them worthy both
of his Power and Love, and not of his Care, is ridicu-
lous and impious. Indeed did we travefty God into a
Shepherd, as the Poets did Apollo; did we fuppofe he left
his Godhead in Heaven, to feed Flocks on Earth, or
that he took up his Habitation with Pifmires, or lodg'd
in Dunghills with Worms, your Objection would appear
reaſonable; but we muſt caft off thefe Anthropomorphite
Principles. To act on Earth, he needs not abandon Hea-
ven; nor difpatch Courtiers to intimate his Orders, or
Deputies to execute 'em; he is as neceffarily in all Places,
as in all Times: He created all Things without Labour,
and conferves them without Solicitude. The Manage-
ment of the World neither takes one grain from his Hap-.
pineſs, nor adds one; he is as much at Leifure fince its
Creation as before; and though he be without Embarass,
he is never idle. Befides, though we cannot dabble in
Pitch without being defil'd, that Aphorifm of the wife
Man concerns not him; he fhines in Mire, glitters in
Dirt, and like the Sun gilds corrupted Carcaffes, without
being tainted or fullied. I therefore conclude your Phi-
lofophy is of the fame Piece with your Divinity, and
both are drawn from the Original of Epicures: They
are too fooliſh, methinks, to trepan a wife Man, and too
blafphemous to engage a good Man; and indeed I am half
perfuaded you laugh at his Syftem in your Heart, tho'
you applaud it in Publick, and would eafily defert his
Belief, if you could enjoy, without Remorfe, the Bene-
fit of condefcending Moralities.
Theo. Come, Sir, you have harangu'd enough upon
this Subject; methinks the Chamber begins to fmell of
Vermin, we have been upon an uncleanly Topick: To
difcourfe of Worms, Toads and Maggots looks like tread-
ing Eels out of Mud; they are unphilofophical Employ-
ments, and we will commit the farther Difcuffion of
the Poet to a Committee of Gold-finders, or a Club of
Rake-kennels.
DIA-
t
446 The GENTLEMAN İnftructed.
DIALOGUE XXIII.
The Seventh Proof. The palpable Abfurdities which fol-
low from no GOD, demonftrate there is one.
Eufeb. Omit many other Arguments that plead moſt
powerfully for a God; in this Number we
may place Miracles and Prophefies. If ever there were
a Miracle, all the Atheist's fine Hypothefes fall to the
Ground, all the Leaves in Windfor Foreft will not be able
to hide the Folly of his Incredulity; for if ever a dead
Man has been brought back to Life, it muſt have been
done by a Power above the Energy of natural Cauſes :
To revive a dead Man, is as hard as to infufe Life into
Marble, and I think all the Abilities of Nature can never
reach this Operation. Now that fuch Miracles have been
wrought in the World, may be made out by as plain Evi-
dence, as the Nature of paft Matters of Fact require,
i.e. by unquestionable Authority, and more can neither
rationally be expected nor defired.
2
Again, to foretel Things that depend merely upon the
Exercife of our Free-will, is a manifeft Argument of a
God; for an Underſtanding that can foreſee what will
happen, by the fame Perfpicacity muſt know what has
happen'd, and a fortiori, whatever does actually happen,
and by confequence whatever can be known. Now
fuch a vaft Extent of Knowledge can only fuit with a
Being infinitely perfect, at leaft far fuperior to Man:
For as Pindar takes Notice, Ad futura cæcutiunt mentes
bumane, Future Events lie out of the Sphere of human
Understandings: We fee nothing but Obſcurity and Dark-
neſs before us; we cannot tell what Changes, what Re-
volutions of Defigns may be made in our Breaſts before
to Morrow, much less what other Men will fay or do a
hundred Years hence. Whence the Latins call foretel-
ling of Things, Divinatio, as if it was the peculiar Pri
vilege of the Divinity: And the Prophet Ifaiah bids the
Gods of the Heathens prove their Title to Worſhip by
Prophecy. Enunciate que ventura funt in futurum, &
fciemus quia Dii eftis vòs.
Now
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
447
Now it is clear beyond Difpute, that Men have fore-
told future Events with all their Circumftances; which
they could not do by the Force of human Wit and Indu-
ftry: Therefore, they receiv'd the Faculty from another
who can dive into Futurities, and diſcover all the Wind-
ings and Meanders of the Hearts of Men to come, as
well as of thoſe who are, and have been. I will cull
out two or three Prophecies of a hundred which may be
found in our Scripture, and defire you to fpend a cool
and impartial Thought upon them. 1. Reg. cap. xiii.
whilft Jeroboam facrific'd on an Altar to Baal, a Prophet
cry'd out, Altare, Altare, hæc dicit Dominus, ecce Filius
nafcetur domui David, Jofias Nomine, & immolabit ſuper
te Sacerdotes excelforum, qui nunc in te thura fuccendunt,
&offa hominum in te incendunt. This happen'd exactly
361 Years after: The Prophet Iſaiah, c. 41. foretells the
Empire of Cyrus and his Name 200 Years before he was
born. Daniel the Subverfion of the Chaldean Monarchy,
the Grandeur of the Median, Perfian, Grecian and Roman
Empires; nay, he defcends to particular Accidents, ſo
that he ſeems rather to compile a Story of paſt, than a
Prophecy of future Tranfactions; yet the Event runs e-
ven with his Prediction, 'tis true to a Letter, and there-
fore to Admiration. Now this alone wounds Atheiſm
mortally, and ſtabs its grand Principle, There is no God.
For this Difcourfe is moſt certain, Nothing in Nature is
able to forefee things which depend meerly upon the Free-
Will of Man,and will happen fome Ages after: But 'tis cer-
tain that Men have forefeen things that depended on the
Free-Will of Man, and did happen feveral Ages after they
were foretold, therefore, there is an intelligent Being above
Nature. You can only evade the Force of the Argument
by denying the Matter of Fact; but when you ftrike
upon an evident Abfurdity, and muſt call in all Records,
there is not any Story in the World more authentick,
than that of the Scripture: Now to disbelieve all Hiftory
out of Fear of being impos'd on, is to play the Fool with
Caution, and to ftretch Wearinefs into Stupidity. I
intend not to defcant on thofe two Proofs, nor to draw
them up to their full Advantage; confront them at leiſure,
with Hiſtory both facred and profane; compare the Text
with Events, puſh on the Examen not only to Exactneſs,
but to the Extremity of Criticiſm, only ftop within the
Terms
448
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Terms of Reaſon, and expect no greater Evidence than
Things paft will bear: Do not firft pafs Sentence, and
then examine Evidences, firſt condemn, and then inquire
into the Merits of the Caufe, and I am confident you
will confefs, Things have been both done and foretold,
that come not within the Reach of Nature; and therefore
you will be oblig'd to acknowledge there is fomething
that commands Nature, and calls thofe things, that are
not, by their Name, as well as thoſe that are.
Theo. I will take into Confideration your Propofals
in due Time; but pray read us the Regiſter of Abfurs
dities: This is your prefent Task, and I am impatient
to hear it.
Eufeb. I fhall open my Indictment with an Accufation
able to make a Man's Ears tingle, notwithſtanding your
Tenets are guilty of the Impeachment. There is no God,
you fay, no Providence to watch over the Children of
Men, no Goodneſs to reward Virtue, no Juftice to
puniſh Vice; hope of a future Bliſs is but a pleaſing Ima-
gination, Fear of Torments but a vain Bugbear invented.
by Melancholy, and improv'd by Cuftom; does not
this accurs'd Doctrine open the Gate to Pride, Arrogance
and Tyranny? Does it not let in upon us Perfidiouſneſs,
Perjury, and Sacrilege? Does it not invite Mankind to
turn off Shame; to caſhier Modefty; to plunge into the
Mire of Lafcivioufnefs; and in fhort, to break off all
Commerce, all Correfpondence with Neighbours, Friends
and Relations? Now can any thing be imagined more
abfurd, than to father fuch horrid, fuch univerfal Cor-
ruptions on the firft greateſt and fupream Truth? This
all Atheiſts do. For as the prime Verity (if there be a
God) is, There is a God, who rules, directs and governs
the Univerſe; ſo if there be none, that muſt be degraded,
and this ſubſtituted in its Place, There is no God who rules,
directs, and governs the Univerfe; but this Truth will
extinguiſh Fear, and ftifle Reverence; it lets looſe the
whole Crowd of Paffions, and expofes the World to Pil-
lage and Rapine; for Men void of Fear, are void of Re-
ftraint, and fo fet up Appetite for the Standard of all
their Actions.
Secondly, It will follow, that a Falfhood, an Impoffibi-
lity, a meer Chimera, is the Cauſe of Religion, of Ju-
ftice, Temperance, and Modeſty; that it is the Founda-
tion
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 449
tion of Peace, Concord, and the very Bafis that fupports
all well-ordered Common-wealths; for the Perfuafion of
a Deity, the Fear of his Anger, and Hope of his Mercy
awe Men more than civil Rewards or Puniſhments.
Now is it not down-right Madneſs, to think, that a Chi-
mera, a meer Fiction, that has no Being, but in ſome
deluded Brain, ſhould countenance Virtue and perſuade
it? Should difcountenance Vice, and load it with Shame
and Infamy; whereas the prime Truth in the Atheiſts
Catechifm, There is no God, leads Men into all Abomi-
nations.
Thirdly, It will follow, that Wiſdom ftiles Virtue, and
Error cheriſhes it; for if there be no God, it's Error and
Folly to believe there is one, 'tis a Piece of Wiſdom to
ftand up and proteft againſt a Forgery, fo prejudicial to
Truth, Reafon, and Senfuality : It's a Piece of Wiſdom
to maintain that Truth, and Wifdom are Plagues, not
only to particular Men, but even to Societies; that they
drown Kingdoms in Deluges of Corruption, and cut off
the Bands of Unity, that knit the Parts together; that
they must be clapt under the Hatches, and condemn'd
to Darkness and Confinement, as Traitors to Humanity,
and Rebels to Government: But then on the other Side,
it follows, that Error and Ignorance fupport Commerce,
maintain Tranquillity, and enliven Society; that they are
to be promoted as the Source and Origin of all Good,
that they enlighten the Underſtanding, poliſh the Will,
and not only render People wife, bat good.
Fourthly, That all thofe Heroes who have been fa-
inous, either for Learning or Piety, were wretchedly mi-
ftaken in a thing of the higheft Concern: They fell
down before an airy Statue of God, forg'd in the Brain,
ftruck out of Error, and fhap'd by Vifion, Cuftom and
Education: Whilft Men, unprovided of Wit, deftitute
of Confcience, of profligate Lives, and of worfe Princi-
ples, burthenfome to their Countries, and fcandalous to
their very Species, unravel the Truth, and unmask the
grand Impofture: Before a Man can believe fo potent an
Abfurdity, he muſt turn off Reaſon, and conclude, that
the worst of Men were the beft; the most illiterate, the
moft wife; and thoſe who have ever juftly been eſteem'd
Monſters, the only Ornaments of our Kind.
G g
Fifthlys
450
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Fifthly, That to pay Homage and Obedience to God,
to fear Puniſhment, or hope for Reward, are fooliſh and
vain Actions, and wholly oppofite to Reaſon: For to re-
vere, worship, and tremble at a Chimera, is both childish.
and ridiculous. It's unreafonable and impious into the
Bargain: If therefore God fits on the fame Level with an
Impoffibility, if he has no other Being, than what a de-
luded Underſtanding is pleafed to give him, he is no
more to be valued, than all thofe impoffible Combinati-
ons that are ſpawn'd by Fancy, and crawl in the Ima-
gination.
Sixthly, That Impiety, Sacrilege and Blafphemy are
laudable Actions, and agreeable to the moft inviolable
Dictates of Reafon. For if there be no God, all the Acti-
ons that fly in his Face, that attack his imaginary and
ufurp'd Grandeur are good: First, Becauſe they are pub-
lick Proteftations of a Truth, viz. That there is a God.
And, Secondly, Becauſe they are efficacious Means to dif
abuſe Mankind, and to withdraw it from the erroneous
Perfuafions of a Deity and Providence. Pray, Sir, tell me,
are not theſe moſt difmal Confequences? Are they not able
to chill the Blood, and to caft Humanity into Convulfions?
They cannot be thought on without Horror, nor believ'd
without Fury. Had I a Hand in the Government, or any
Power with the Commons, I would bring all the Abettors
of thofe lewd Tenets within the Statutes of Treafon. They
tend directly to the Subverfion of Order and Difcipline,
When Men believe fo loofe Principles, their Actions can-
not be regular. Nothing but want of Occafions to be Vil-
lains can plead for their Honefty: Impotence alone is the
guard of their Innocence, and of their Neighbour's Safety.
Theo. You are fmart upon Atheifts, and methinks in-
tend to hector them into Religion, rather than convince
them. But, Sir, a little Reaſon goes farther than much
Satyr, they are Men of Mettle, and dare look a Rhodo-
montade in the Face: They will not be frighted out of
their Opinion with Buckram Invective.
Euſeb. Did you ſee a Raſcal ready to fet Fire to your
Houfe, or a Bravo making at your Breaft with a drawn.
Sword, in fuch Exigencies you would lay afide Forma-
lity and Ceremony: And I fuppofe fuch extraordinary
Circumstances would eafily juftify a little Smartneſs.
This is our preſent Cafe. By denying a Deity, you pull
up
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 451
up all Reſtraint, you let looſe the whole Kennel of Vices,
and hollow in Pride, Rapine and Cruelty to worry us
you do not only lop off the Branches of Subordination
and Government, but tear them up by the Roots, and un-
dermine the very Foundation of Society: We cannot car-
ry on any Commerce, nor live in any Corporation, with-
out truſting ſometimes our Neighbour: For it is impoffi-
ble to make all Matters fo fure, as to leave nothing to
Honesty and Honour. Truft is the Ground, the Bafis
and firft Principle of Commerce; without this, we muſt
ſtand at Defiance with all the World, and place Security
in our Power alone. Now if there be no Superior to
awe us, no Principle within us that points out. Good and
Evil, it's abfurd and foolish to truft any Man; for there
is no Ground for fuch a Confidence in your Hypothefis,
nothing that can perfuade a Man to facrifice his Intereſt
to Truth and Juftice.
For if there be no God, Man is his own Law, and there-
fore can offend no Body but himself; nay, nor can he
offend himſelf; for if he be fupream, whatever he does is
right. Let him contrive Plots againſt Church and State §
let him worry the Innocent, or prey upon the Poor, he re-
mains loyal, tho' plung'd in Treafons; fpotless, tho' dipt
in Blood; and without Sin, though loaded with Crimes.
Now fuch Doctrine muft of neceffity unhinge Society,
and turn Kingdoms into Heaps of Rubbiſh, and Piles of
Confufion; for it withdraws all thofe Props that fuſtain
Obedience, and breaks thofe Bands that cement Unity.
A Man muſt be made of Ice not to expreſs fome Concern
at the Approach of fo threatning a Danger.
Theo. Of what Danger?
Eufeb. Of our Lives and Fortunes; for nothing can fe-
cure them but the Impotence of Atheiſts. We are out-
law'd by your Principles already, and fhould quickly be
clap'd on the Gallows did your Power correfpond with
your Intentions, at leaſt to your Maxims. But your Forces
are difpers'd, they are canton'd in Taverns and Bawdy-
Houfes, and it's hard to draw them into a Body; fo that
the Government ftands, becauſe you want ftrength to over-
turn it: We enjoy Liberty, becauſe you cannot enflave us ;
and our Eftates, becauſe you dare not invade them.
Theo. Thefe are reflecting Hints, and rather plead for
Incivility than a God; I had rather connive at the Affront
G g z
than
452
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
than revenge it, and attribute it rather to Heat than Ad-
vertence.
if
Eufeb. Under Favour, Sir, tho' your Tenets raife my
Indignation, I think they deſerve it; yet affion has not
dimm'd my Underſtanding; I fpeak with Reflection; and
my Difcourfe difpleaſe you, thank your Principles for the
Mortification. I fay again, if there be no God, Man has
no Superior; if he has no Superior, he can be fubject
to no Law; he can neither do well nor ill; for Good
and Evil are relative Denominations, and fuppoſe a Law
that prohibits the one, and either commands or counfels
the other; if he can do no ill, and is perfuaded of this
impeccable Prerogative, why fhall he not glut his Ambi-
tion with Treafons and Murders; his Avarice with Ra-
pines; and his Incontinence with his Proftitutions?
Thefe Actions fit very easy on Confcience; they ſpawn
on Senfe, and charm Nature; nay, according to your
grand Maxim, they deferve the Name of Virtues, as well
as Obedience, Juftice, or Chaftity, and are more eafily
practis'd than forborn: Indeed, tho' you be neither under
the Reftraint of Natural Laws nor Divine, Civil Laws
may fright you fometimes from the Practice; for Atheifts
of all Men dote on their Skin, they love not to make a
publick Intrado into the Old Baily, nor to be carted in
Ceremony to Hide-Park-Corner. But then what Govern-
ment can be fecure, when Subjects obey meerly for want
of an Opportunity to rebel? And are only innocent when
Intereſt forbids them to be guilty?
Theo. This is an odious Subject, pray let us ftep over
it; I am afraid you will turn Evidence, if Paffion carries
you a little farther, and I may be put to the Exigence of
folving Difficulties at the Bar. I will now return an An-
fwer to your moſt material Objection. You fay, if there
be no God, that Juftice, Temperance, Modefty, and O-
bedience flow from a meer Chimera; that Fiction, Im-
poſture and Falfhood fupport Society; this you ftorm at,
and throw it among the firft Clafs of Abfurdities: But
pray reflect, that Ignorance and Policy at Rome and A-
thens fet up a Multiplicity of Gods, they carv'd Idols of
all Sizes, and of all Creatures; they perfuaded the Vul-
gar that their mute Statues pun fh'd Vice, and reward-
ed Virtue. This Impofture cheated many into Juttice,
Chastity and Obedience, You cannot deny but Deifts
were
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
453
were imaginary, that they were as void of Senfe, as of
Reaſon, and were fo far from being able either to protect
their Profelytes, or chaftife their Enemies, that they could
not defend themſelves. In fine, Sir, they were Nothing,
yet theſe Nothings, thefe Chimera's fcar'd People into their
Duty, and aw'd them into heroick Flights of Morality.
If the Perfuafion of a God, (tho' there be no fuch Thing)
works the fame Effects, where lies the Abfurdity? If
Falfhood, two thouſand Years ago, gull'd People into
Submiffion, and wheedled them into Virtue, it may play
over again the fame Game in our Age; we are liable to
Ignorance, as well as the Athenians or Romans, and what
either quicken'd their Hopes, or enliven'd their Fears,
may make Impreffion upon ours.
Eufeb. I confefs that the Perfuafion of the antient Pa-
gans was erroneous, and falfe in particular, but not in
general: They acknowledg'd a Deity who look'd into
Human Affairs, and who would once exact a ſtrict Ac-
count of their moſt minute Actions; fo far they were
right; but then when they applied this Notion of a God
to Stocks or Stones, to wicked Men or accurfed Demons,
they deviated from Truth: The Principle therefore of
theſe Men was true, viz. A God: But the Application of
it to Jupiter, Mars or Venus was erroneous; for theſe
were Perfons of moft profligate Morals: The firſt, an A-
dulterer, the fecond, a Murtherer, and the third, a moft
impudent Harlot. So that neither the Attributes of a Di-
vinity, nor the Management of the World, nor the Ven-
geance of ill Actions, nor the Reward of good ones be-
long'd to them. Now when Men abſtain'd from Immo-
rality out of Fear of offending God, or practis'd Virtue
out of Defire to pleaſe him; they were not mov'd by this
Perfuafion, that there was a fupream Being, who hated
ill, and lov'd good; and would puniſh that, and reward
this; which univerfal Perfuafion is moſt true; and Vir-
tue that ſtands on this Principle, has no Chimera to fup-
port it: Indeed they clap the Divinity on Men, inveſted
Devils with its great Prerogatives, and worship'd t ofe
Gods of their own Inftitution; and fo blunder'd about
the particular Subject of Adoration, notwithſtanding they
retain❜d the Notion of a Deity able to chaftife the wicked,
and ſo had a kind of true Foundation of political and
moral Virtue: But if there be no God, or if he mews
himſelf
Gg 3
454
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
himſelf up in Heaven, without entring into our Concerns,
the very Foundation of all Probity, all Subordination is
falſe and fictitious, and by confequence, all Truft, Com-
merce, Piety and Society are fuftain'd by Impofture and
Forgery, which is an Opinion fo unkind to our very Na-
ture, and fo irrational, that no Man can abett it without
Folly and Madneſs.
A Gentleman of the Company interrupted Eufebius.
Sir, faid he, I confefs your Arguments have Force; they
are rational, and a Man muſt be very hard to pleaſe that
will not reliſh them. But unleſs our Souls are immortal,
what Reafon have Men either to love his Goodneſs, or`
to fear his Severity? His Bleffing muft ftop with our
Breath, and his Curfes cannot overtake us in Eternity:
For if Death robs us of Life and Being, all our Hopes
and Fears are at a ftand: They diſappear with our laſt
Sigh, and vaniſh into nothing. So that the Doctrine of
a God is not fufficient alone to reform Mankind, and all
Religion may be regarded as uſeleſs, or flung among the
Ceremonies Divines term Diaphora; for if my Soul be
mortal, future Rewards are impoffible, as well as Tor-
ments: Why then ſhould I court Virtue at the Expence
of preſent Satisfaction? Or withſtand Appetite with the
Forfeiture of Pleaſure? Why fhould I bridle Luft, or
preſcribe Bounds to my Ambition, if neither Conti-
nence be regarded, nor Pride humbled? For my part I
own ingenuouſly, I fhall make the beſt uſe of Time, till
I am fure there is an Eternity. I fhall trim up my Houſe
of Clay, and lay out my Stock on Reparations: My Paf-
fions fhall live at Difcretion, and range without Con-
troul.
If my Arguments convince you that there is a God,
replied Eufebius, you cannot queftion the Immortality
of the Soul. God and the Immortality of the Soul
are Correlatives, and whatever Proof makes for the one,
eſtabliſhes the other: For as I hinted above, if there
be a God, he is juft, and therefore crowns Virtue, and
revenges Vice: Now it is evident that the Juft often-
times in this Life receive no Reward, and the Impi-
ous no Puniſhment; therefore they must receive it in the
next; therefore our Souls muft not die with our Bodies;
therefore they are immortal. Again, if our Souls are
immortal, there is a God. For fuppofing this noble Pre-
rogative,
7
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 455
rogative, which way did the Soul come by it, but by the
Goodneſs and Power of an infinite Agent? It can neither
be the Effect of Matter nor Motion; thefe Things are
below the Level of a Spirit, they have neither Life nor
Knowledge; how can they infufe into another thoſe Per-
fections that are Strangers to themſelves? Did our Souls
fteal a Being from all Eternity? Where were they before
they enter'd our Bodies? Who order'd my Soul to take
Poffeffion of my Body rather than of another? Or where
did it hover before it found the Settlement? I fuppofe
Pythagoras's Metempsycofis is grown out of Fafhion in Eu-
rope, we fend Souls no more on Expeditions of Knight-
Errantry; they fcorn to take up with Swine, or to lodge
with Camels, and Elephants. If therefore they are im-
mortal Spirits, you cannot avoid a Creator; neither
Hazard, Motion, or Matter can give us a good Account
of their Origin.
Eufebius defired another Meeting the next Day, to put
an end to the Conference. One Seffion, faid he, addref-
fing himſelf to the Company, will compleat the Work,
and I defire your Prefence; I will only draw up in fhort
the Sum of our Difpute, that you may at one View fee
the Strength of my Proofs, and the Weakneſs of my Ad-
verfaries: And then, Theomachus, if (in ſpite of Light)
you refolve to remain in Darkneſs, (after I have detected
your Errors) I'll pity your Obftinacy. The Company
accepted of the Appointment, and fo broke up. But Theo-
machus, after mature Deliberation, thought beft to wave
the Interview; he had been too often foil'd to venture
another Puſh: Befides, he perceiv'd that fome of the
Gentlemen began to waver: The Reafons of Eufebius
had done Execution; altho' indeed none had declar'd
for Religion, many approv'd it; fo that he fear'd ano-
ther Conference, with a fhort Exhortation might de-
tach fome, and weaken his Party. And if the Succefs
of the Controverſy ſhould be put to Vote, he forefaw
nothing but Shame for himſelf, and Victory for his An-
tagoniſt: But the Matter being not determined (faid he
to one of his Intimates) like thoſe who have a Suit de-
pending, we may both pretend Right, and ſo we ſhall
part Stakes. But to withdraw handfomly, he fent Eu-
febius this Letter.
Gg 4
SIR,
at-
456
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
SIR,
I Am Sorry Neceffity has forc'd me to disappoint you to Mor-
row; an unforeſeen Affair requires my Abfence from
Town; 'tis both important and preffing, ſo that I cannot re-
tard my Departure one Day without great Prejudice to my
Concerns, and Danger to a Relation. I therefore difengage
my Word, and prefume you will excufe and pardon my Inci-
vility: When I have rid my Hands of this troublefome
Accident,
You may command, SIR,
}
Yours.
Eufebius read the true Defign of Theomachus under his
falfe Pretence; and eafily perceiv'd he retir'd to avoid
both Conviction and Confufion, and indeed it's hard to
determine which he dreaded moſt. For he was jealous
of his Honour to Phrenzy, and obftinate in Infidelity to
Madneſs. Notwithstanding Eufebius next Morning met
the other Gentlemen at the Rendezvous, who were con-
cern'd at the fudden Retreat of their Hero, yet ſome ex-
cus'd, tho' others blam'd him. Eufebius addreffing him-
felf to the Company, fpoke to this Purpoſe.
The Conclufion of the CONFERENCE.
GENTLEMEN,
WEm
E meet to Day to finish the Difpute; and I thought
the Controverſy alfo, but the unexpected Retreat,
(I would fay Flight) of Theomachus has baffled my Hopes.
Had he not ſuſpected the Juftice of his Caufe, why did
he fo fhamefully defert it? I had no Defign on his Ho-
pour, but on his Impiety. I fhould have difclaim'd the
Glory of Conqueft, had he but acknowledged his Defeat,
and abjur'd an Error, that will at last ruin him, and thofe
who inconfiderately abett it. Nay, an humble Confeffi-
on of the Truth had fecur'd his Reputation from Oblo-
quy; the Blemish had fallen on the Caufe, not on his
Wit; but the Glory of Submiffion to the Truth had been
wholly imputed to his Candour and the Sincerity of his
Temper. People had thrown the Reproach of Atheiſm,
rather
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
457
rather on the Mifinformation of his Underſtanding, than
on the Perverſeneſs of his Will, fo that he could only
fear to be eſteem'd more unfortunate than criminal: But
this ungenteel Flight lays him open to the Severity of
Cenfure, and all underſtanding Men muft neceffarily
conclude, he wanted Abilities to defend a bad Caufe, and
Confcience to difown it. But I'll leave him to himſelf,
and where can he be more uneafy, than in his own Com-
pany? Though he be without a God, he is not without
Fear, and who can fleep fecure that harbours fuch a Fury?
Atheiſts (like the China Mandarins) are waited on by
Hangmen that puniſh their own Delinquencies: They
can never avoid the Arreft and Execution of their Con-
fciences; tho' they make a Sport of God, and a Diverfion
of Crimes in publick, they are more ferious in private;
which is a fhrewd Sign their Atheism is imaginary, tho'
their Impiety be real. A God, or no God, Gentlemen, is
an important Queftion; and thoſe who incline to the Ne-
gative, would do well to examine it with Care, with Study,
with Coolness and Impartiality, before they come to a
final Refolution. When the Athenians heard of the Death
of their mortal Enemy Philip the Macedonian, they were
preſently for manifefting their Joy by fome publick Scene
of Jollitry: But a Fellow among the Crowd bid 'em first
be fure he was dead, left one day they might find him
alive by the Severity of his Revenge. The Atheiſt of all
Men fhould follow this wholfom, this prudent Advice;
and nothing but a ſtrict Demonftration can fecure him:
For all the plaufible Sophifms in the World will never
reſcue him from Danger; nor by Confequence his Electi-
on from Folly: for fo long as he is not demonftratively
fecure there is no Deity, for any thing he knows there
is one; and if there be, he will certainly feel the Exi-
gence of that dreadful Majefty he deny'd, by the Rigour
of his Juftice: It's therefore our Intereft to believe there
is a God, and to fquare our Actions by this Belief; for
we can be no Lofers by Credulity; but may be undone
eternally by Infidelity: Indeed the Atheift is fenfible
enough his Cafe is defperate, if there be a God, and if
one may believe him, wiſhes nothing more, than that it
were in his Power to credit his Being: But, fays he, this
is the proper Work of Demonftration: Evidence alone
fettles the Judgment, of which I am wholly unfurniſh'd:
But
458 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
But this is a Blindneſs rather than an Excufe: A petty
Artifice to excite Compaffion, or to hide Folly and Mad-
nefs under the Drefs of Sincerity. If they expect Ma-
thematical Evidence, they will die Atheifts, for fuch
Conviction is impoffible; and they that will only fubmit
to Proofs of which the Matter is uncapable, fhould ra-
ther purge than difpute: He is fitter for Phyfick than
Reafon, and I would counfel him to fhave and air his
Brain.
Now let me defire you, Gentlemen, by all that is dear,
to take this Matter into Confideration, it deferves Time,
Thought and Reflection. The Queſtion is, Whether
there be a God who eternally rewards Virtue, and eter-
nally puniſhes Vice? What can be more important, than
to be well inform'd on which Side of the Contradiction
Truth lies? If in the next World there be no high Court
of Juftice, no Judge, no Account taken either of Good
or Evil; why fhould Men force Appetite, ftorm Incli-
nation, or bridle Defire? Why fhould they forego the
Enjoyments of this Life, and fell a prefent Satisfaction
for a vain Expectation of a future Felicity?
But then, if there be a God, Atheiſts are in ill Circum-
ftances, they must take Leave of Life and Pleaſure toge-
ther, and give a fad Farewel to Delights. Their laft
Breath extinguiſhes Joy, and kindles a Flame not to
confume, but to torment them eternally. Their Mu-
fick will End in Tears, their Pleaſure in Repentance, and
their Repentance in Defpair. It's a doleful Cataftro-
phe to be dragg'd from a Palace into a Dungeon, and
from the Embraces of a Dalilah into thofe of everlafting
Flames. What Man in his Senfes would take the moſt
glittering, and moſt gaudy Happineſs in the World, to-
gether with fuch a dreadful Reverfion of Torments? Yet
if there be Scientia in Excelfis, Knowledge and Justice
above, (that is a God) the Infidel Atheiſt will burn be-
low, and feel the juft Revenge of that powerful Majeſty
he ſo obftinately denied.
Now, Gentlemen, the Matter ſtanding thus, withdraw
from Hurry and Paffion, take off all Affection from the
prefent; divorce wholly from this World, till you are
fure there is no fuch thing as another. Argue with
your felves thus: I believe I am lawfully begotten, I be-
lieve I am baptiz❜d, and never doubted of either: Yet I
have
4
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
459
have the bare Teftimony of my Mother for the Truth
of the firft, and perchance the fole Authority of a Parfon,
or a Midwife for the Belief of the fecond. But all Nati
ons tell me there is a God as well as Ages: Why there-
fore fhall the Word of one Woman, or of one Man, not
only fway, but fix and fettle my Judgment in thofe
Cafes, and not the joint Teftimony of all Men in this?
I cannot contemplate the petty Springs of a Watch, or
the rude Contrivance of a Cabbin, but prefently the
Sight leads me naturally to an Artificer. I carot pof-
fibly afcribe the Frame of either to blind Chance, or fatal
Neceffity; and though I fool my Underſtanding, and en-
flave my Reaſon in a thouſand Occafions, in this I can-
not. They difobey the moſt preffing Commands of the
Will, they pronounce boldly in fpite of Practice and In-
clination, that fome Hand put the Wheels together, and
rais'd the Cottage.
The moft ill-fhap'd Animal in the World, the moſt def-
picable Leaf are more finely contriv'd than all the Ma-
chines that ever Art invented. If therefore the petty
Fabrick of a Watch, the unpolifh'd Frame of a poor
Cottage convince me they were made by the Hand of an
Artificer, muft I not confefs this Majeftick Pile of the
World, fo vaft, fo various, fo ftupendious, was firft con-
triv'd by the Wiſdom, and then created by the Power of a
moft perfect Agent? If a lefs Motive fways my Judg-
ment, a greater may; and if my Affent be both firm and
prudent in one Cafe, certainly it cannot be unſtable and
imprudent in the other. A Child may make thefe Re-
flections; they are eafy, obvious, and convincing: Rea-
fon therefore and Intereft plead ftrongly againſt Atheiſm,
and you cannot abett it without betraying both.
i
Proftrate (I beseech you) your felves with bended
Knees and bleeding Hearts before the Throne of that
dread Majefty you have fo often provok'd by your Im-
morality, and abjur'd by your Infidelity. Obftinacy
enflames his Juftice, but Tears extinguifh it. It's in
your Power either to try the Weight of his Anger, or
the Sweetneſs of his Mercy: But if Atheiſm waits on
you to his Tribunal, you muſt expect nothing but Dam-
nation. God's Greatnefs will fright you, his Power will
difarm you, and his Juftice eternally torment you. In
fpite of Bravado's, Concience will not only act the Part
of
460 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
of an Accufer, but of an Executioner alfo. It will re-
venge with Intereft, thofe Rapes and Violences you have
committed againft it here, and turn thofe kind Admoni-
tions you receiv'd with Raillery into fo many Inſtruments
of Puniſhment.
Gentlemen, dare you put theſe things to a venture?
Will you live in Infidelity' as unconcernedly as if all the
Terrors of another World were only frightful Dreams of
Men awake; or meer Productions of a feverish and dif-
compos'd Brain? Certainly I have made the Exiſtence of
a God too clear to be thought Fancy or Vifion. And
then I expect Prudence will not permit you to think it
a Matter not to be regarded, whether you are eternally
happy or miferable.
At leaſt if you are refolv'd to play in this Life, and to
weep in the other, decoy not unwary Gentlemen into fo
mad a Refolution: Their Pains will not eafe yours. If
you plot againſt their Purſe, have no Defign upon their
Religion. Scoff them not out of their Creed, tho' you
wheedle them out of their Eftates; when you have ſwept
away their preſent Stock, force them not to make over
their Title to Heaven. You can gain nothing by their
Lofs; for the fame time you rally them out of Heaven,
you jeft your felves into Hell.
Befides, were the Exiftence of a God, the Truth of
Religion doubtful, yet they ſhould be thought on with
Seriouſneſs, and ſpoken of with Reverence; for People
put a great Strefs on both. They look upon the Belief
of a Deity, and the Practice of Religion here as neceffa-
ry for their Happineſs hereafter. They acknowledge it
is not only their Duty, but alſo their Intereft to believe
a God, and to worship him. Methinks therefore it's a
Breach of Civility, and a Failure in Breeding; it's an
Affront to Chriftians as well as to their Maker to turn
the Object of their Adoration into Sport and Diverſion,
and their Expectation into Romance: So that you can-
not be prophane without being Clowns. Pray therefore
(at least for your Reputation's fake) employ your Wits
and Tongues on a more credible Subject. Certainly
Wit is not grown fo facrilegious, as not to be pleas'd
without polluting holy Things. A Man may be civil
without Blafphemy, and lay in a very fair Pretenſion to
Ingenuity, without being guilty of Profanenefs.
To
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 461
To draw towards an End; if you intend to fearch
Truth with Serenity and Candour, take leave of Drolle-
ry, preach not down God, Religion and Sobriety, but
treat with Reſpect thoſe things Mankind reveres, for Men
feldom honour what they ridicule; much lefs will they
proftrate themſelves to what they burleſque. Shake off
therefore this buffooning Humour, and when the Tongue
is brought under Difcipline, the Heart will throw off
all the Lets of Prejudice and Paffion; and then the Un-
derſtanding difengag'd from Violence, will eafily fub-
mit to the Force of thofe Reaſons I have laid before
you.
But if you run on in a lewd Vein of Drollery and Im-
piety, the moſt perfuafive Arguments in the World will
never work upon you; you'll certainly fport your felves
into Damnation, and fink down laughing into Hell.
But then thöfe Flames that confume Mirth; will awake
Deſpair. You'll begin to be both ferious and wife,
when 'twill be too late to be fo. Oh, how fooliſh,
how imprudent is it to deny a Deity in this World, and
to believe one in the other! To live Atheists in London,
and Theifts in Hell!
The End of the Second Part.
+
Gentleman Inftructed,
In the Way of
Converſation, Entertainment of Friends,
Management of his Eftate, Company-
Keeping, Travelling, &c.
WITH
REFLECTIONS
ON SOME
Modern Practitioners of Law.
AS ALSO
An ESSAY
UPON THE
Immortality of the Soul.
PART III.
LONDON:
Printed in the YEAR 1732.
THE
PUBLISHER
TO THE
Young NOBILILY and GENTLEMEN
OF
ENGLAND.
GENTLEMEN,
T
HE former Two Parts of the Gentleman In-
ftructed, have been fo kindly received by the No-
bility, that I presume to recommend the Third
alfo, to the Favour of their Protection. Books
make their Fortune, as well as younger Brothers,
by the Credit of great Patrons; they are unable to break
through the Oppofuion of Criticism, without the fupport
of Authority, and so are fuppofed guilty, because no Body
will stand up in their Defence; for at prefent, Prejudice
and Cenfure run high, and, what is worse, out of their
proper Channel. Good Books generally meet with Re-
proach, and bad as often with Approbation. We ſquare
our Judgments by our Conduct, fo that it's odds thufe
Men who declare for Vice will never relish a Lecture of
Morality. No, no, when a Book condemns our Behavi-
our, we take the Freedom, by way of Reprizals, to con-
demn it; as if it were lawful, with Mr. Hobbs, to con-
troul Reaſon, when Reafon takes the Liberty to controul
us.
I therefore expect that Libertines and Debauchees will
take Check at the Freedom of theſe Papers, as well as at
the Subject; and that poffibly they may discharge a Volly
of Reproaches upon the Author; for in a hurry, Paffion
miſtakes a Friend for a Foe, and falls as foul on those who
H h
£07330
The PUBLISHER to
come to our Rescue, as on those who intend our Ruin; bus
the best on it is,the Force of their Weapons anfwers not the
Strength of their Malice; for alas, a Feſt makes a weak
Thrust, and a Sarcasm a weaker; and fober Men Seldom
condemn a Book, becauſe Libertines burlesque it, for the
Opinion of fuch Judges is always suspected of Partiality,
and fo neither be a Credit to a Cauſe, nor a great Misfor-
tune.
Who commiffions this, Eufebius, faid a Spark, to tutor
all Mankind? To lash our Failures? To expofe our Perfons
to Reproach and Infamy? Must be pendant it over his Bet-
ters, and revile Quality at Difcretion? Has he not ftript
us of our Robes, and fhown us in Difhabile to the Rab-
ble? First to render us cheap and defpicable, and then to
entertain the Publick at our Expences? Though we are
lewd, why must we appear little? Though we forfeit our
Innocence, we have right to Refpect; the Gentleman
wants Breeding, and his Perfon fhould be brought to Pe-
nance as well as his Pen.
Why, good Sir, all this Heat, faid I, I counsel you to
Stifle your Resentment, unless you can difarm this pretend-
ed Adverfary, confute his Evidence, or deny the Charge;
for after all, tho' People abandon Virtue, few have the
Impudence to burlesque it; its Intereft is not quite funk;
Confcience and Shame have not loft all Footing; and tho'
it be not uncreditable to commit an ill Action, it's infa-
mous, at leaſt, to defend it. If the Gentleman's Charity
challenges not Thanks, I am ſure it deferves not reviling;
it should strike out fome Sparks of Repentance, and not
kindle Flames of Anger: He tells you, you post on to Dam-
nation, and defires you to stop: Is it fuch an Incivility
to interpofe? Did we fee a blind Man upon the Brink of
a Precipice, fhould we not admonish him of the Danger,
and speed to his Affiftance?
take
Young Gentlemen, hoodwinkt by Paffion, and fafcinated
by the bewitching Blandifhments of fenfual Pleasures,
not only the most easy, but the shortest Road to endless Tor-
ments; he cries out stop, and you question his Commiffion,
and formalize upon the Legality of his Proceeding; your
Danger, dear Sir, on the one Side, and Charity on the
other, are his Warrant; nay, and the Principles of that
Religion you prostitute to Lewdness, are his Justification
and Protection.
Indeed
the YOUNG NOBILITY, &c. 467
Indeed he has drawn fome difproportioned Characters,
but the Fault lies not in the Painter, but in the Original;
the Gentleman had no Intention to provoke any Man's
Refentment, or to expose his Perfon; he hath blended a
thousand different Faces together, fo that this Confufion
of Features and Complexions will conceal the Originals.
In short, Sir, I counsel you rather to mend than to ftorm;
if you will not apply the Remedy, thank at least the Gen-
tleman that prefents it.
But however, the Spark would come to no Terms of Ac-
commodation with Eufebius, he would post him up for a
Pedant, and pronounce him a prefuming Coxcomb in all
Places, and all Company: Thus this poor Man overlook'd
nothing in Ill-nature, or worse Manners, and strain'd his
Resentments to all the Heights of Folly and Madness; but
he fancied in Eufebius's Character he faw his own; and
fo to clear his Complexion, and brighten his Features, be
would break the Glass, as if the Deformity lay in the Me-
dium, and not in his Face.
Thus fome People attack Godliness under every Form,
they give Virtue no Quarter, and Vice no Disturbance;
they have baniſh'd Goodness from Practice, and will not
Suffer it to appear even upon Paper: No, no, Confcience
must have no Retreat, and God no Worship. Certainly in
thefe Mens Opinions, Hell is a Place of Diverfion, and
Heaven of Torments.
But, Gentlemen, I hope the fober Part of you will re-
ceive this Prefent with more Civility, and if you cannot
refolve to imitate the Pattern, I am confident you will
at least commend it. I have mingled his Actions with his
Precepts, and fo have at the fame time thrown before you
a Scheme of his Practice, and an Effay of his Documents;
you will at one View fee what he did, and read what be
taught; and then we must conclude, Gentlemen are far
gone in Wickedness, if both Reafon and Example are
unable to recover them.
The way to Virtue by Precept, fays Seneca, is long, by
Example ſhort; this affects more strongly than Speculati-
on; it enlivens our Spirits, and prepares them for Action;
the Prospect of hazardous Enterprizes oftentimes damps
Courage, and difpirits Bravery it felf; but when we fee
Men undertake it with Valour, and come off with Success,
we envy the Hero, and applaud the Action; we then con-
Hh z
clude
:
468
The PUBLISHER, &c.
clude that things are feafible that feem impoffible, and that
oftentimes the very Difficulty lies more in the Fancy than
in the Attempt.
Flesh and Blood paint Virtue in a frightful Drefs, and
the Duties of a Chriftian in the Garb of a Fury; they seem
Monsters to the Nobility, more fit to be gazed on than
practifed, and rather fcare than invite. Eufebius has dif-
covered the Impofture, and unmask'd the Artifice; he has
convinc'd the World by Practice, that Virtue has nothing
hideous but a falfe Vizor, and that the Duties of a Chri-
ftian are no Nuſance; that our Maker never intended to
bind us up to disadvantage, nor to turn our Duty into
our Misfortune. The Office of a Christian in this great
Man interfered not with that of a Gentleman; his Beba-
viour was handſome, and his Carriage religious; he kept
up a continual Correfpondence with God, without break-
ing off all Commerce with Men. In a Word, he lived
both a Gentleman and a Saint; loved by moſt, and ad-
mired by all.
THE
!
[ 469 ]
THE
Gentleman Inftructed, &c.
PART III.
DIALOGUE I.
Young Gentlemen are diffuaded from a Town Life.
T
HO' the Diſpute was over, the Controverfy
went on, Theomachus was indeed too weak
to keep his Ground, but too stubborn to ask
Quarter. He durft not boast of Victory, and would
not acknowledge his Defeat; fo that in conclufion he
was willing to draw Stakes, and confefs'd that both
maintain'd their Poft with equal Refolution. In fine,
(faid he with a Smile) Eufebius and I fought here, as
our Allies and French at Luzara: Both are Conquerors,
and both overcome. I give him leave to clap his Wings,
if he'll permit me to crow.
Neander was prefent at the Difpute, and by good For-
tune in the Company, when Theomachus bolted out this
Rhodomontade. His Confidence was extraordinary, and
his Air unuſually pretending. Paffion fluſh'd in Neander's
Face, and almoft broke out at his Tongue. He had no
mind to renew the Combat; for he knew Atheists ever
return Smiles for Reaſon, and keep their Ground rather
by dint of Forehead than Argument. However, not to
fuffer him to be pleaſant without Check; I perceive, faid
H h 3
he,
470
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
he, you have run in a Circle, taken many Steps, but rid
no Ground; you are juſt where you were in fetting out;
becauſe, for ought you know, there may be a God, and
then you a Madman by Demonſtration.
I have told you, reply'd Theomachus, God is an airy
Being, the Child of Fancy, and Spawn of Imagination,
a Bugbear to awe Fools, and fright Children; and if Eu-
febius has hectored much on this Subject, he has proved
little. For, Sir, I diſtinguiſh between Flouriſh and Ar-
gument; between ftarcht Cant, and folid Reafon.
It may be fo, anfwer'd Neander, but if his Reafon
for a God comes not up to Evidence, yours for no God
(by your own Confeffion) falls fhort of Demonftration.
For in a Word, Sir, It's a drawn Battle. It's therefore
no leſs probable there is a God, than that there is none;
and by confequence you muſt commence Fool, to remain
an Atheist.
Theomachus was pincht for an Anfwer, and therefore
he retreated to the laft Retrenchment of baffled Libertines,
Raillery and Satyr. For you muſt know theſe Gentle-
men bite when they cannot fpeak to the purpoſe, and
laugh down thoſe Arguments they cannot reafon out of
Countenance.
Your Logick, young Man, faid he, is as callow as your
Chin, and your Underſtanding as foft as your Beard.
Leave Philofophy to thum the Grammar, rub over Pro-
pria que Maribus, before you venture on Divinity; your
Intellect is pen-feathered, too weak-wing'd to foar fo
high: A Dog or a Racer are more proper Entertainment
for your Age, than God. And I prefume you are more
able to judge of Wine, than of Theological Niceties.
Nay, faid Neander, if Age be the Standard of Senfe,
and Arguments are meaſured not by Mood and Figure,
but Beards, then certainly all the Advantage lies on your
fide; but under Favour, Sir, Beards and Reafon go not
always together. Age is not the Meaſure of Truth and
Falfhood. Threefcore may be in the wrong, and Twen-
ty in the right: Fling therefore Years out of the Quefti-
on, and come up cloſe to the Point. But Theomachus
thought fit to drop the Controverfy, and withdrew, while
the Way lay open for a Retreat. The Difficulty pincht,
and he had no colourable Anſwer in reſerve. And there-
fore being in no condition to withſtand his Adverfary, he
took
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
471
took the Liberty to contemn him. And indeed, this petty
Policy is a wonderful Relief to a finking Courage. It
lays a Varnish of Generofity on Cowardice, and gives
Fear the Colour of Good-nature.
Theomachus was no more for drawn Battles, he faw, that
by drawing Stakes, he ſhould loſe the Sett. And therefore
(to cry up his Party, and his expiring Credit) he pro-
claim'd himſelf Conqueror, and his Adverfary defeated.
Eufebius, faid he, is flipt into the Country to air his
Brains, and to throw off the Chagrine that always dif-
compoſes routed Generals. He dares not keep the Field,
but cantons his fcatter'd Forces in Villages.
Eufebius indeed had bid adieu to the Town, with a
Refolution never to return. He was fick of Company,
and more of thofe Follies he could neither endure, nor
correct. He could not without Indignation behold Chri-
ftians lead the Lives of Pagans, and prophane the beſt Re-
ligion with the fouleft Crimes. What Pleaſure, faid he,
can a Chriftian take in a place where Vice rides in Triumph,
and Virtue groans in a Dungeon; where Goodness lies un-
der Contempt, and Irregularity receives Applause; where
the best Actions are lampoon'd, and the worst deified?
Neander rid over to his Houfe, five Miles only diſtant
from the Town. Heinform'd him of Theomachus's Com-
portment fince his Retreat; with what an Air of Confi-
dence he proclaim'd his Victory: That the Cabal began
to hold up their Heads and crow: That Atheiſm had al-
moft recovered of its Wound', and began to walk Abroad :
That his Prefence might ſtop the Evil his Abfence would
give Opportunity to fpread: That Theomachus would
withdraw at his Arrival, and carry his Poiſon and Impu-
dence into the Country.
Alas! reply'd Eufebius, Dear Neander, you are unac-
quainted with the Temper of Atheists. It's easy to con-
found 'em, but almoft impoffible to convert 'em; their
Diſeaſe lies in the Heart, not in the Head. Their Mif-
fortune takes its Rife from Obftinacy, not Ignorance.
And how can you reafon a Man out of Infidelity, who
refolves to remain in it againſt Reafon? Libertiniſm,
Neander, is a bewitching Thing, when it gets the Afcen-
dant; 'twill improve Ignorance for an Excufe of Free-
dom; caft Confcience into a Lethargy, and bribe the
Understanding against our own Intereft. In a Word,
Hh 4
it's
1
472
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
it's a Sin feldom forgiven in this World, and never in the
other,
Atheism, replied Neander, is not the only Vice of the
Town, other Sins feem free of the City, and Men en-
deavour to dilate the Malignity, and to keep the Diſor-.
der in countenance. If People have the face to preach
up Ungodlinefs in Difcourfe, and Practice plant both a-
gainft it; good Counfel, back'd by Example, may do ast
much Execution upon Vice, as bad upon Virtue. In the
next World, indeed, Men's Wills are either fixt in Good
or Evil, but in this they may pafs from one Extream to
the other. Befides, all are not fo charm'd with Sin, as to
perfuade themſelves it deferves no Puniſhment, nor fo
out of Conceit of Virtue as to diſcard it of all Reward:
Their Misfortune fprings rather from Weakness than Ma-
lice; from youthful Heat, than from Infidelity. Time
will cool their Blood, and Inftruction may inform their
Underſtanding; and when this is difabus'd, the Will ſhakes
off the Enchantment.
What can Advice, faid Eufebius, fignify to thoſe who
are always more prepared to curfe, or ridicule the Adviſer,
than to practiſe the Counfel? To thofe who are unman'd
by Effeminacies, and even nailed to ill Habits? They
are without Confcience, without Principles, how will
you come at them? You may almoſt as foon preach
down a Hurricane, or declaim Tempeft into a Calm, as
counſel a bad Man into a good one. Whilſt we frame
ill Notions of the future State, our Lives will hardly be
regular. What hope of Recovery when the Patient dotes
on the Diſeaſe, when he flies in the Face of the Doctor,
and ſuſpects every Cordial to be a Doſe of Arfenick or
Ratsbane? In a Word, the Malignity of the Fever works.
up to Madneſs; and, like fome Bedlams, they ſuppoſe
themſelves the Wifdom of the Nation.
I fuppofe, indeed, that all who throw up their Inno-
cence, and pawn Heaven for Pleafure, have not quite
taken leave of Religion, or difmifs'd Principles; but they
have Mofes and the Prophets, Paftors and Teachers: I am
not Curate-General, nor intend to interfere with another's
Function: Thofe who tend the Sick are often ſtruck with
the Infection, and the Doctor that cures his Patient
fometimes dies of his Diftemper.
What!
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
473
What! faid Neander with a Smile, you are on Guard
againſt the Infection of the Town: Surely you have out-
liv'd Temptation. Age has fo congeal'd your Blood, that
nothing but a Chriſtmas-block is able to thaw it. Neither
the World nor Devil can work up thy Humours to Irre-
gularity. Thy Paffions, like Serpents in a Froft, drop
their Venom; they move without Vigour, and almoft
without Life: They are fo far from capering, that like
Criminals in Tramels, they can fcarce ftand. To have
one Foot in the Grave, and the other in the Brothel is
unuſual. Few Men, like Etna, burn within, when they
are Snow without. A white Head and a glowing Heart
feldom meet.
No Man, reply'd Eufebius, is fecure, and therefore all
fhould ftand upon the Qui va la. Age, indeed, is lefs
expos'd than Youth, but it's not above Danger; and I
have known fome carry their Diſorders on to fourfcore.
They ſpurred on Nature jaded by Age, and rid down.
by a long Courſe of Exceffes, till it funk under the Bur-
then, and went off the Stage both with Shame and Sin,
fcorn'd by Men, and tormented by the Omnipotent.
It's therefore our Duty to withdraw from ill Example,
and not to come within fight of Occafions. Like the Ba-
filisk, they kill with their very Sight, and the Poifon is too
quick for a Remedy, Fly therefore, dear Neander, the
Town; Temptation feconded by Youth, and fharpened
by Idleneſs, will be too hard for Precept. Lot found
Safety in the Country, and his Wife Death for looking
back upon the unfortunate City. God has left this fad
Example for a Caveat to Pofterity, to have any Com-
merce with Sinners, left by Converfation we efpouſe
their Crimes, and partake of their Puniſhment.
And indeed when young People fix in Town, they glean
up its Vices, and continue the Practice, till their Eſtates
founder, and their Bodies fink under the Weight of their
Diſorders. Unthinking Creatures! They fport in the
Camp of their Enemies; Danger furrounds them, and
what is worſe, either unfeen or unreguarded. Temptati-
on affaults them not with the Violence of an Enemy, but
the Carefles of a Friend. This throws them off their
Guard, difarms Cautions, and gives them up to the Go-
vernment of Carelefnefs, fo that they furrender without
Reſiſtance, and figh in Fetters before they dream of an
Enemy.
474
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Enemy. Nay, one would think they loft their Wits with
their Liberty, and commenc'd Fools the fame Moment
they become Slaves. For they fancy themſelves the only
free Subjects in the Nation, becauſe they are not coop'd
up between four Walls; and dote on their Captivity,
becauſe they hector in Taverns, and rattle in gilt Coaches.
But, alas! theſe pleafing Fancies, are the Effect of a
dozing Opiate of the Devil's Malice, not of his Kind-
nefs: He regales his Friends, as the Indians do their
Slaves, meerly to prepare them for Slaughter.
Now thefe Men turned into Senfe, are unqualified for
good Counfel, you may as foon reafon a Swine out of
the Mire, as thefe into Sobriety and Temperance. They'll
carry on their Brutalities in fpight of all their Sermons they
hear, and make over the Lord's Day to the Devil.
We have indeed Committees for the Improvement of
Piety, as well as for that of Trade. And fo have made.
Provifions for the Intereft of God, no lefs than for that.
of the Nation. But, alas! If our Cenfors deferve Cen-
fure, Reformation will be at a ftand; their Example will
do more Execution on Vice than their Office: And their
Practice would carry on more heartily the Intereft of
Virtue, than their Commiffion. A Man that flings his
Eſtate into a Mifs's Lap, will not be fined out of her
Company with forty Shillings; and he who leaps over
the Laws of God, will fcarce boggle at Acts of Parlia-
onent.
In fine, Neander, our Town Sparks are a monftrous
Generation, a kind of Centaur, half Man, and half
Beaft. They have the Shape of the Firſt, and all the
Brutality of the Second; they follow the Stream of In-
clination like Beafts; they chop at any thing that grati-
fies Senfe. But then they fwitch on Nature, and here
they leave the Beaſt to play the Fiend. Immortal Spi-
rits ſeem tied to all the infamous Impreffions of Flesh and
Blood, and bind themfelves Slaves to the Devil in this
Life, for Pleafure in Hand, and eternal Torments in
Reverfion.
Had you a Vote in the Houfe, or a Place at the Board,
faid Neander, you would be for a Proclamation to clear
the Town of all the young Gallants above Fifteen, and
under Thirty.
When
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 475
When a Gentleman's Buſineſs, reply'd Eufebius, lies
in Town, I would not have him take Coach for the
Country. For at fuch a Diſtance things would not go
on kindly. The Man and his Bufinefs, like Man and
Wife, muſt live together: Separate Dwellings, require a
ſeparate Maintenance. Now when we double Expences,
Accounts feldom run even: Thoſe who have Offices at
White-Hall, may take up Lodgings in Spring-Garden or
Pallmall; who intend to build a Fortune upon the Law,
may take up in the Inns of Court: And if they are for
Trade, they may pack off to Wapping or Cheapfide.
But, I confefs, I would not have thofe come nearer
than Hampfted or Hounslow-Heath, who have no other
Buſineſs than Diverfion; for they will certainly idle away
their Time, Mortgage their Souls to the Devil, and their
Eftates to Mifles, Vintners, and Lawyers.
Idlenefs, dear Neander, is a dangerous Difeafe under
all the Elevations; but it's mortal at London. It's not
only the Mother, but the Miſtreſs of Vice. Multam enim
malitiam docuit otiofitas, Eccluf. Chap. xliii. A Man that
has nothing to do, has Leifure to do any thing: He lies
open to all Temptations, and what is worfe, is unprepa-
red for a Defence; like a diſmantled Town, he falls into
the Hands of the firft Invader.
Indeed at his firft Arrival Bufinefs flows in upon him:
One would think he fat at the Helm, and ſteered the
weighty Concerns of the English Monarchy. The firſt
Secretary of State is in a lefs Hurry on Poft Days, and
fends about fewer Difpatches. For you must know he
Subpœna's Sempftreffes, Taylors, Barbers, and Coachmak-
ers, to appear at his Levee; one would fancy this hete-
rogenious Juncto took into Confideration ardua Regni
Negotia, they play at pro and con with fuch Heat and
Commotion. Now all this Noife is nothing but a learned
Debate upon the Modes of the Town, and an advanta-
geous Mixture of Colours. He is for Delicacy and Exact-
nefs of Fancy, for nothing tawdry and mechanick, flaunt-
ing or ill matcht. And Doctors are divided upon the Point;
but all agree to bubble the Squire. For it's a kind of Pu-
ftulatum among the Beaus, that nothing is modifh that
is not dear; nay, the Goodness even of Snuff rifes with
the Price, and Tobacco at five Guineas the Pound, is
twenty Times better than the fame at a Crown.
I knew
:
476
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
I knew a Spark that fat a whole Morning in a cloſe
Committee with a Barber: Now this mighty Conſultation
was about a Perriwig. He fhew'd him Twenty, but one
was too long, another too fhort; this too full, that too
thin: At last, Sirrah, fays the Youngfter, make me a
Smart Wig, a Smart one, ye Dog. The Fellow bleſt him-
felf; he had heard of a ſmart Nag, a ſmart Mạn, &c,
but a ſmart Wig was Chineſe to the Tradefman. How-
ever nothing would pleaſe his Worship, but Smart Shoes,
fmart Hats, and fmurt Cravats: Within two Days he had
a fmart Wig, with a fmart Price in the Box. The Truth
is, he had been bred up with the Groom, and tranſplanted
the Stable-dialect into the Drefling-room.
Was he a Gentleman, faid Neander? A Gentleman, an-
fwer'd Eufebius; yes, of a Family more ancient than the
Norman or Saxon Conqueft: He was of the La Fools of the
North, allied to the eldeſt Branch of the La Fools of Eſſex.
Now let us fuppofe his Equipage compleat, and his
Grand Concern over; his next Bufinefs is to confute Job's
Aphorifm, Man is born to Labour. No, he is a thing
made ineerly for Sport and Pleaſure; he fancies God has
affign'd him no other Employment than to live at Ran-
dom, without Law, without Reſtraint. And altho' God
has given every part of the Creation a convenient Poſt,
he feems a Mute placed in view meerly for Light and
Parade. You muſt not therefore wonder I attempt not
to define his Calling, feeing he will not pretend to any.
One weighty Affair calls upon him every Morning,
viz. how he shall faunter away the Day. This is a moot
Point, and requires Plodding and Application; and indeed.
he dwells upon the Subject till a confiderable part of the
Day is paft, before he can take a final Refolution how to
pafs it. Nay, with lefs Pains he might have employ'd
the whole Day well, than in the very Deliberation of
ſpending it ill.
For pray imagine not the Practice of any Chriftian Vir-
tue falls under Debate, where he fhall hear Prayers, or
where a Sermon. Alas! Thofe Duties lie below the Sphere
of a Gentleman who pretends to the Garb and Freedom
of the Town; he might have difcharg'd them in his
Country Parish, without the Expence of a flaunting Equi-
page, or the Fatigue of a tedious Journey. And you
may take this for a Principle, that Devotion never coach'd
a young
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
477
a young Man to Town, nor gave him a Surfeit of the
Country. Liberty, Pleaſure, and downright Debauche-
ry allure him thither; theſe command him, as God did
Abraham, to forfake Houſe and Relations to turn Tenant,
though he was Lord and Proprietor in the Country.
The Morning is divided between the Pillow and the
Toilet, and this is the most important as well as the
moft innocent Employment of the Day. The Folly is
much greater than the Sin: For what can be more fooliſh
than for a Man to eſpouſe the Weakneſs of a Woman?
To take Pains to be laught at? To drain his Pocket to
make himſelf cheap and ridiculous? However, you may
with more Eafe harangue a Peacock out of his Brains,
than a Town-Spark out of his Gaudry: He will appear
in Print, and convince the World that Finery and Folly
are near allied.
Their
And now his Friends crowd in to give him the bon
jour, theſe are a kind of partie bleiu, that marode upon
new Comers, with Commiffion from Indigence and Ñe-
ceffity. They have rioted away their Confcience, met-
and diced away their Eftates, and now graze upon the
Common. Their Honefty runs lower than their Pockets,
and their Confidence over-fhoots Impudence
Crimes are as publick as their Debts, and their Religion.
keeps pace with their Morals; they fcorn to fling even a
Varnifh over the fouleft Diſorders, and will not go to the
Expence of civil Hypocrify. In fine, they are a Blemish
to their Family, a Nufance to the Town, and a Scandal
to Converfation.
Thefe Sparks, like the Steward in the Gospel, cannot
dig, and will not beg; and altho' Adam was condemned
to live by the Sweat of his Brows, they refolve to make
a Figure by that of their Confcience. At the first Sight of
a raw Gentleman, they fly at him like a Vulture at the
Quarry, and for the faine end alſo, to pray firft upon his
Virtue, then upon his Money; how many Nets do they
lay to enfnare the Squire, and knave themſelves? They
ply him with Vifits, ſtudy his Temper, and ftrike in
with his Inclination. They fwear his Wit is without.
Parallel; his Behaviour above Imitation; that a je ne
Spay quoy runs through every Motion, which charms and
aftonifhes. In fine, that he is the very Top of his Species.
The poor Gentleman, unpractifed in the Dialect of the
Town,
478 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Town, takes theſe Compliments for Content; he fuppo
fes himſelf in Yorkshire, where the Tongue and the Heart
go together, where Thought and Words look the fame
Way. Now this City-incenfe fends out a moft grateful
Flavour, but it is too ftrong for a Country Brain. It
turns his Head, and fmoaks him out of Senſe and Rea-
fon; he fancies himſelf a Cubit higher; he walks in the
Clouds, and values himſelf not by the Pound, but, like
Diamonds, by the Caract.
In a Word, he flings himſelf into their Arms, and gives
himſelf up to their Direction. And then you may be
fure he meets with the Fate of the Sheep in the Fable,
who difmifs the Dogs to graze under the Protection of
the Wolves; for a Libertine is a Devil once removed,
or at leaſt his Deputy; nay, he is ten times more mif-
chievous by Proxy, than in Perfon. People of themſelves
are prone enough to Laziness, Lewdnefs, and Extrava-
gance, but theſe add Biafs to Nature; they provoke
Paffion by Precept, and whet Appetite by the Charms of
Glory and Reputation; they ſchool him out of all the
Revelations in the Gofpel, and debauch him in Principle
and Practice; for Scepticks have faint Notions of God,
and confequently none of Confcience; they have no
Relifh of Virtue, and lie under no moral Reſtraints from
Hope or Fear: So that they have nothing to do, but to
indulge their Inclinations, to gratify Senfe, to fill their
Pockets with one Hand, and to empty them with the
other. Now to take in a Gentleman's Money, you muſt
firſt beat down all Principles of Morality, you muſt
draw a Scheme of Gentility by the Rules of Epicure;
and if you can perfuade him he is only free of the
Town, when he has difcharged Confcience, and fent
back Religion into the Country, you may rook him out
of his Eſtate with the fame Facility you have raked him
into Debauchery.
For this reafon they take care to inform him of all the
Embelliſhments of a Town-Gentleman, without any
mention of the Duties of a Chriftian. They tell him, that
Wit is the best Quarter in a Gentleman's Efcutcheon, and
that he muſt bid fair for a Place among the Vertuofo's, but
that Profanenes is the ſhorteſt Cut to this Preferment,
and the beft Standard of Senfe and Breeding, id eft,
his Wit muſt be as wretched as his Manners. When
he
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 479
he is pinch'd for a Reaſon, he muſt bolt out a Jeft; that
fits well enough on a Pedant, this on a Gentleman, provi-
ded it be tipt with Impudence, and pointed with Boldness;
that he must beware of that vulgar Error Religion, be-
cauſe it cramps Freedom, palls the Spirits, and coops up
Liberty in ftrait Compafs; that he muſt be ſure to be out
of the Reach of Scruples, and above the Follies of Re-
morfe. Now fuch Principles, driven on by Example,
eafily lead him into Exceflès; and thefe help on the Belief
of the Doctrine; fo that by a kind of mutual Priority,
the one ferves for a Vehicle to the other.
Indeed, at the beginning, Debauchery lies hard upon
his Stomach; he pukes, and is crop-fick; but Practice
and Wine carry off the Diftemper, and then the Soul
becomes cafe-hardened; he is fo far from blufhing at
his Diſorders, that he thinks Ambition a Reputation for
Debauchery; he charges himfelf with falfe Impieties,
and ufurps Wickedneffes he is only guilty of by his
Boafting.
And now being flefht in Sin, he bounds from one Dif-
order to another, and turns not only a Day, but the
whole Year into a mad fort of Bacchanalia. Other
Trades have fome Weeks of a Vacation, but his go on
the very Sundays; and generally his Profaneneſs rifes with
the Holiness of the Day. His firft Jaunt is to a Treating-
houſe; here he trefpafies upon all the Rules of Tempe-
rance and Sobriety; he over-charges his Stomach with
Ragoufts, and his Head with Wine; Appetite runs away
with Reaſon, Senfuality with Shame, and he fancies he
only drinks like a Man, when he finks into the Beaft.
Men fhould eat and drink to live, but he inverts the Pri-
mitive Inftitution, and feems only to live for the Satis,
faction of his Palate: He would never die, yet plunges in-
to Exceffes, as if Life were a Burthen; for he is never
well till he falls fick. of a Surfeit, and almoft out of his
Wits, till he has drowned them in Claret.
From the Table he removes to Play, and leaves the
Glafs to handle the Dice; when a Gentleman has drunk
away his Reaſon, he generally flings his Money after it;
for he cannot juftify himfelf to the Fafhion, nor keep up
to the Character, unleſs his Purfe be as light as his Head;
and he is haunted by a Brigade of Sharpers who ply at
his Pocket, and give no more Quarter to his Guineas,
than
480
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
than to their own Confcience. They cruiſe upon Gen-
tlemen like Parties in Flanders upon Paflengers. Poverty
and Luxury feal their Commiffion; and what they ſeize
by one Crime, they throw away by another. One would
take them for Crafus's by their Expences, and for Cut-
purfes by their Filching.
At first they fuffer him to win to invite him to loſe,
and by good Luck decoy him into bad; but then the
Wind chops into another Corner; Fortune fumbits to
Cogging, and the Deceit over-reaches Play. A thouſand
Curies fly after Good-luck, but are unable to recal it, fo
that at once he is bankrupted of Patience, Money and
Grace; however he will not fit down with his Lofs, he
fuppofes Fortune continues never long in the fame Hu-
mour; that if ſhe frowns to Day, ſhe muſt ſmile to
Morrow Away then he goes to a fecond Rendezvous,
but alas, the Defire of retrieving his Loffes, only ferves
to enhance them: He feldom diſcovers the Deceit, till
nothing is left to be cheated of; nor even fufpects Over-
reaching, till Caution comes too late.
:
By this time he has diced himſelf ſober, and the Fumes
of Chagrin have maſtered thoſe of Wine. Nothing but
a Comedy can difpel the Glooms that riſe from an empty
Pocket. Away then they drive to the Theatre; and here
Vice attacks him by the Eyes and the Ears too; he ſees
almoſt the very fecret Myfteries of the Stews, and hears
all the Blafphemies of the Damned; here Lewdness is
ſpoken, not in double Entendres, but plain English; there
are Paraphrafe and Comment upon the Text, and Folly
is fhewn without Caution or Reſerve.
Comedy, they ſay, was defign'd by Pagan Athens to
inftruct Youth, and to teach the Bafenefs of Vice by its
Puniſhment: But in Chriftian London it tends directly
to debauch People all manner of ways: For this reaſon
good Men are laíh'd, and ill rewarded; Virtue appears
in Sackcloth, and Vice in Embroidery; Rakes go off
with Succefs, and fober Men with Difappointment;
the Devil and the Poet chop upon the fame Favourite,
and his Fortune always rifes with his Lewdneſs. Nay,
thoſe of the beſt Quality in the Play are always the
worft Chriftians; they glitter in Equipage, and arc
dignified with Efcutcheon, and often with Patent to ena-
ble Vice: To perfuade People that the Blemishes of Hu-
man
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 481
man Nature make up its Perfection, and that Gentle-
men and Reprobates are made of the fame Metal. Now
who can be good under ſuch ſtrong Provocations to Evil?
Who will pretend to Regularity, when they muft bluſh
for their Reſolution; and cannot avoid Reproach un-
leſs they deſerve it? Believe me, Neander, when a
Gentleman is pinch'd with this dangerous Dilemma, I
must either forfeit my Character or my Innocence; it's
odds he will rather drop this than put that to a venture;
for it goes hard when one muſt turn lewd as it were in
his own Defence, and can expect no Quarter, unless he
hangs out the Colours of Libertinifm and Irreligion,
and boafts of thofe Crimes he is only guilty of in Ap-
pearance.
Now though fuch hideous Flights of Profaneneſs, fuch
Heights of Obscenity, and Strains of Religion fhould be
all Penance and Mortification to Chriftians, yet they are
not only permitted, but applauded by the Nobility of
both Sexes, and the Standard of their Approbation is of-
ten the Indecency of the Poem: Nothing is fuppofed
foft, unleſs it be rotten; and all thofe Pieces are damned
by the Spectators, that damn not the Audience. When
the moft flaming Impieties are thus received with Tranf-
port on the Stage, are they not ftamp'd as it were with
publick Authority? And when the worft Actions are
moſt eſteemed, who will boggle at the Practice that
brings both Credit and Pleafure? It's certain the Charms
of the Theatre are no lefs transforming than thofe of
Cerces, it enchants Men out of their Species, they leave
their Reafon behind them, and carry Brutality to their
Lodgings; it deſtroys all Principles of Religion and Mo-
rality; it countenances Atheiſm, and places the Glory
of Gentlemen, in the Infamy of Human Nature; it
fullies the Imagination, boils up the Humours, and fires
the Paffions; and when it has thus ftarted the Game,
Fleſh and Blood pampered by high-feeding, and fupplied
`with Money, will follow the Chace; and you may take
it for granted that London is better (I mean worſe) ftock'd
with Thais's than Lucretia's Youth and Coin make pro-
ftitute Women, as well as debauch'd Men, and the
Play-Houſe ſerves not only for a School to Proſtitution,
but for a Nurſery alfo to the Stews; nay, and fome-
times to Bethlem.
I i
Now
482
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
་
Now when a young Gentleman is drench'd in Brutality;
when criminal Amours take the Afcendant, he is undone
to all Intent and Purpoſe; for when Love flies high, Rea-
fon runs low; and whofoever has made over his Heart
to a Miſs, ſeldom keeps his Wits; he lies open to all the
Affaults of Artifice and Avarice, and his Soul becomes
as beſtial as his Pleaſures, he can think of nothing that
is generous or manly. So that in Conclufion, he has no
more of the Man, than of the Chriftian.
To comprehend all in a little; a Town-Spark is a kind
of Corinthian Brafs; this is a Mixture of all Metals, and
he a Compound of all Diſorders; he is a little Anti-
chrift, Homo peccati, a Man of Sin; and this, like the
Devil in the Gofpel, is call'd Legion; he plies between
the Tavern and the Play-Houfe, and then turns off to the
Groom-Porters, or the Stews; in one place he drops his
Wits, in the other his Money, and every w here his Inno-
cence. So that the Devil lodges moftly in his Pocket,
and always in his Soul. He has the Shape of a Man,
and all the Inclinations of Beafts; his Study is to fluſh
the moſt agreeable Objects of Senfe, and his whole Sa-
tisfaction to enjoy 'em; he ſtands not upon the Niceties of
Decency, nor formalizes upon the Notions of Good and
Evil. Pleaſure is the Rule, as well as the End of his
Actions; and although he be unable to fatisfy one Paffion,
he endeavours to glut them all. When he can devife no
new Crime, he entertains his Thoughts on the Ideas of
paſt Diverſions, and fo debauches his very Memory, as
well as his Will, and commits imaginary Sins, which,
unrepented, will be revenged with real Torments.
I confefs, faid Neander, if the Original holds up to
this Copy, a Town-Spark has more of the Monſter than
of the Man; and I would no more come within the
Air of the City, than of a Peft-Houfe. But certainly
you over-flouriſh upon an ill Subject, and paint 'em in
more difadvantageous Colours than Nature made 'em,
fuch Creatures are found in Fancy only, not in Life; and
I believe Satyr has drawn fome black Stroaks upon
Practice. Without doubt young Gentlemen are not all
Saints; nor are they all Fiends; fome may live better,
and others worſe.
Indeed, Neander, replied Eufebius, I have drawn the
young Men of the Town in worfe Colours than Na-
ture
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 483
ture made 'em, but not ſo bad as they have made them-
felves. Caft a tranfient Glance on thoſe of your Acquain-
tance, and you will confeſs our Age (warms with Borbo-
rites, as well as the preceding, who rowl in Mire, like
Swine, of the moſt hideous Senfualities; having fhaken
off the Yoke of Obedience to Parents, they break through
the Commandments of God. Scorn all Guides, but Te-
merity; all Law, but the Liberty to follow every Im-
pulfe of Paffion; all Labour, but that of the Devil, to
plunge themſelves into eternal Flames, and others with
em, that they may find Companions in Puniſhment, as
well as in Pleaſure.
But pray, what is this to the Town? anſwered Nean-
der: In fpight of Provocation to Evil, Men may live
with Regularity in the very Liberties of the City; if
therefore they deviate from their Duty, leave the Fault at
their own Door, and charge not the Town with their
Extravagances. I grant, Temptations are frequent, and
often violent; but then thefe poliſh Virtue, as Fire pu-
rifies Gold. Virtue, till it be brought to the Touch-ftone,
has often more Luftre than Solidity, and all its Value
hangs on the Surface. But when it ftands its Ground in
fpight of Provocation, and bears up againſt the Torrent
of Flesh and Blood, it then appears like the Sun in its
Meridian, in Pomp and Glory.
Without doubt, faid Eufebius, London Air has no In-
fluence on Man's Free-will; it lays under no Reftraint, no
fatal Neceflity. Man is Mafter of his Choice, in one
Place as well as in another; but what avails a Power to
live well, with a Will to live ill? A Man muft lie under
the irrevocable Sentence of Damnation to fin merely for
Sin's fake. Such a ſtrain of Malice is above the reach of
the most daring Debauchee: Intereft, Ambition, and
criminal Pleaſures, are the great Incentives to Vice, thefe
rouze Appetite, enliven the Paffions, and then ſubdue
the Will. Now where do thefe Temptations take up
their Lodgings, but in the Town? Here they are fet off
with all the Charms of State and Grandeur; and then, be-
fides, they perfecute Youth, not with Frowns, but Smiles,
and kill with Kindneſs.
But you tell me, Temptation polifhes Virtue, and di-
ftinguiſhes Sterling from Artifice and Appearance. Great
and Good! why don't you take a turn in a Peſt-houſe, to
I iz
try
484
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
1
try the Strength of your Conftitution, or in an Hoípital
to Air your Lungs? By all means; young Men ſhould
ſtep into a Brothel to refine their Chaſtity, and into a
Tavern to practife Temperance and Sobriety. Dear Sir,
the Way to fecure Virtue, is not to expofe it; come not
within Sight of Temptation: It's a fhort Paffage from
being provoked to Evil, and doing it: Fear is a better
Guardian of Piety than Confidence, and more Men have
forfeited it by Temerity than Caution.
But certainly, faid Neander, London is not compofed
of Taverns, Brothels, and Theatres. Gentlemen may
vifit more regular Places, and fling away their Time on
Diverfions lefs dangerous and more innocent.
Yes, reply'd Eufebius, they may vifit a hundred and
thirty Churches, and I affure you this Jaunt would take.
much Time off their Hands; but alas! their Bufinefs lies
not within Sight of a Chapel; they may alfo cry about
the Streets Save-alls and Charcoal, or tug at an Oar be-
tween Temple Bar and White-Hall. Or, in fine, they
may ſteer by the Compaſs of Sir S-D- who drove
every Day in a ſtately Equipage to all the Toy-fhops be-
tween Piccadilly and the Royal-Exchange; he viewed
every Thing, but bought nothing. The Gentleman would
not do worſe, but could not frame any Paftime better;
without doubt he play'd the Fool, but not the Rake;
he toy'd away his Time, yet kept his Money with his
Innocence; his Soul was little, though his Birth was
great, and his Inclinations childish at Threefcore. How-
ever, it's better to trifle, than to debauch away Time,
and to be a Coxcomb, than a Reprobate. But fuch a
Humorist is a Phenix, the Birth and Wonder of an
Age; a Pair ſeldom meets in a Kingdom, and never in
one City.
You take Things by the wrong Handle, faid Neander,
and reprefent them at a Difadvantage: If the Sun, unin-
fluenced by inferior Bodies, has fome Spots, what won-
der a Town-Life be waited on by fome Inconveniences?
I grant many Diverfions are not innocent, yet all are
not criminal. For Example; what Harm in taking the
freſh Air in Hyde-Park? And then in driving to a Con-
fort of Mufick? Thefe Entertainments are genteel, they
unbend the Mind, refreſh the Body, gratify the Senfes,
and have no Defign upon Virtue.
I be-
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 485
I believe, anſwer'd Eufebius, the Air of Hyde-Park is.
more wholfome than that of Cheapfide; and that a
mouthful now and then may be as good for the Stomach
as a Vomit; but then I am perfuaded a Dose of Country
Air would clear the Lungs, and carry off the Smoak from
the Thorax, with lefs Expence and Danger. But do you?
think, Neander, the Beaux and Belles have no other Bu-
fineſs there, than to take in a Cargo of freſh Air? alas!
this is only the Pretence, their Defign is worfe complexi-
oned; theſe appear in the Height of Pomp and Equipage;
and care is taken to ſet off their Charms with all the Ad-
vantage of Fan and Artifice; they fmother the Defects of
Nature under a varniſh of Silk, and plain the Furrows,
Time has funk in their Faces, with Pomatums; the Ring
is a kind of Noah's Ark; they are, Seven unclean Crea-
tures, for two clean. Ladies of Honour ride Pall-mall,
with thofe of Pleaſure; and you will fcarce diſtinguiſh
them but by their Equipage; for you muſt know, a Miſs
out-glitters my Lady; fhe runs away with the Wives
Jewels, as well as with the Hufband's Heart, and com-
mands his Purfe with no lefs Empire than his Perfon.
Now pray, Neander, tell me, is here no Danger for a
young Man, who is haunted by Paffion, and leaves think-
ing at Home? May not Love fly from one Coach into
another? And may not an Intrigue begun in Publick be
improved in Private to Proftitution? In a Conflux of
both Sexes, many meet upon ill Defigns; and when
fome are diſpoſed to ſell Pleaſure, and others to purchaſe
it, they feldom difagree upon the Price; in a word, I do
not fay a Turn in the Park is criminal, yet oftentimes
1 it's unfafe.
Though I rank not the Love of Mufick among the
Signs of Predeftination, yet I am no Enemy to the Sci-
ence. I am not even for banifhing it the Churches. Me-
thinks an Organ well touch'd gives a Majefty to the Du-
ties of Religion, and rouzes up the moſt drowſy Spirit
to Devotion. I am not for turning Inftrumental Mufick
out of civil Converſation; nor do I think with Plato,
that the Violin or Harp have fuch an Influence on the
Government, that one String more would untune the
Common-wealth. I believe the Ephori of Lacedæmon had
little Bufinefs on their Hands, when they ftinted the Lute-
ftrings, and that the Senate deferved rather to be laugh'd
Ii 3
at
1
486 The GENTLEM A N Inftructed.
at for feizing the Fiddle, than Timotheus to be blamed for
exceeding the publick Allowance.
However, it's certain airy Mufick raifes fportive Hu-
mours, and tunes the Spirits to Diverfion; it awakens
Paffion, warms the Blood, animates Fancy, and opens it
to Pleaſure. Indeed it's not directly vicious; yet how far
it may contribute to Vice, thoſe who haunt thofe Places
are the moſt competent Judges; but the vocal Mufick is
lewd to Scandal, and irreligious to Excefs; 'here you
have Lewdneſs in Folio, crowded in a Couplet, and an
Iliad of Miſchief in a Nut-fhell.
The Subject is always profane or amorous; and both
to the Height of the Poet's Fancy; it's better in Rhime
and Metre to help the Memory of the Audience; it's
garniſh'd with Wit to make a deep Impreffion on the In-
tellect; fo that here is Arfenick thrown into Ratsbane,
Poifon upon Poifon; and befides an airy Tune and a fine
Voice ferve for a Vehicle; they gild the Dofe, take off
the Unpalatablenefs of the Potion, and infufe Pleaſure
and Tranfport; when Lewdneſs is work'd up with Verſe
and Mufick, the Miſchief rifes; thefe drive it ſtronger
upon Fancy and Practice.
But if it be performed by a Woman, it's then Poiſon
thrice boiled, mortal and fudden: It attacks not Virtue
by Siege and Approaches, but, like Gun-powder, blows
it up in a Moment; it's downright Provocation; for tho'
ſhe ſeems to vent the Poet's Thoughts, fhe warbles out
her own, and covers her Amours under the fabulous
Names of Cloris and Sylvia. A Woman that courts in
Mufick, follicits in good earneſt, and is either fome Spark's
Conqueft already, or intends to make one. It's odds,
that ſhe who fings ill Things, will do worfe; now when
the Inclination is engaged by a fine Voice, and melting
Notes; when the Words recommend the Bufinefs of
Lewdnefs, and the Sex pleads for it, whether Paffion be
not like to get the better of Duty, I leave, Neander, to
your Confideration.
But certainly, Sir, replied Neander, Vice is not in ſo
flouriſhing, nor Virtue in fo finking a Condition as you
would perfuade me; who would not think by your Dif-
courſe, that Licentiouſneſs and Impiety had called in the
City Charter, and by a Quo Warranto, divefted the Mayor
and
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 487
and Aldermen of the Government, to invade it them-
felves? You draw a Picture of London in as Black Co-
lours, as the Scripture paints Sodom and Gomorrah, and
repreſent the Inhabitants Sinners before the Lord, from
the highest to the loweft; but for all that a Gentleman
may find fober and civil Company; and I am acquainted
with Perfons of Character, who make a Confcience of
doing a bad Thing.
I met once, faid Eufebius, a poor Fellow poring on a
Book; well Tom, faid I! what Book haft thou there?
the Bible, Mafter, reply'd Tom. The Bible, faid I! it's
a good Book. There is, no doubt, fober and civil Com-
pany in Town, here and there, if a body could but find it ;
but bad fo prodigiouſly over-tops it both in Number and
Quality, that there is no coming at it; like Gold in the
Mine, it muſt be found by Sweat and Labour; and
then too, you muſt remove a Tun of Duft for one
Ounce of Oar.
I believe alfo with Tom, that here and there a Body may
find a Conſcience; but then you muſt be at the Charge
of a Hue and Cry, or fend the Conſtable with a Warrant
upon the Expedition; for Conſcience of late, like Deb-
tors, fculks in the dark, or walks the Streets incognito;
and then when you have arrefted it in Her Majefty's
Name, a Man knows not what to make of it; it ſtands
at Trifles, and breaks through Enormities; ftrains at a
Flea, and fwallows a Camel. THtook check
at a Companion for finging a harmleſs Air upon the
Lord's-day: Fye, fye! I will not fuffer, faid he, the Sab-
bath to be thus prophaned in my Prefence. Yet the next
Sunday this very Confcience invited the Sabbath-breaker
to a Brothel. This Gentleman had a Conſcience, no
doubt, but fomething in Diſorder: One would have ta-
ken him for an African Negro, who places Beauty in
Blackneſs, and Deformity in a clear Complexion. A
gay Humour, in his Opinion, was a capital Crime, and
Fornication an innocent Diverfion. The Town and
Liberties fwarm with this Breed of Confciences; they
are bought at eafy Rates; nay, are become both a Drug
and a Nuiſance to Commerce and Society.
I have, indeed, drawn London in black Colours; but
methinks the Copy nicks the Original; and if it refem-
bles Sodom, who can help it; the Fault lies in the Like-
I i4
nefs
488 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
nefs of their Faces, not in the Painter. Indeed, I fear,
a Portapolis and a London Beau are of the fame Alloy;
true to Flesh and Blood, but falfe to Sobriety and Good-
nefs. And then for the Belles, they are caft in the fame.
Mould. Vanity, Balls, and Dreffing, run away with the
Palestine Ladies Thoughts, and do not they monopolize
our London Ladies time? In fine, the foreign Vices of
both Sexes thrive in our Climate; and if Syria has fet
us a Pattern, London out-does the Original. You will
tell me London is a reformed City, how then dare 1 com-
pare the Exceffes of a Chriftian People, with the hideous
Diſorders of Pagans? Is not this to fet Idolatry above the
Worſhip of the true God, and the Slaves of Beelzebub
above the Children of Jefus Chrift? By no means; our
Belief is excellent, but our Manners ftark nought; and
this is the Riddle, that Men fhould profefs Chrift, and
difown his Maxims; reverence his Perfon, and defpife
his Commands: This is in fome meaſure a forty two
Diſtinction, when Men honoured and fought for the
King against the Tyranny of Charles Stuart, and broke
the fundamental Laws of the Nation to maintain them.
Our Nation is a Babel of Religions, and the City a
Pantheon: We have trick'd up Chriftianity in all Dref-
fes, and modelled it to the Fancy of French and English
Fanaticiſm. One would think we were upon the Diſco-
very of new Paffages into Heaven, as well as into the
South and Tartarean Seas, or that each Man refolved to
leave the High-road, to ſteal in at a Bye-lane.
Now when forty Religions fnug under the Protection
of the Law, few are really believed; for where Reve-
lation is queſtioned, Practice will of Courſe be brought
to the Bar, and then it's odds, thofe Principles that fa-
vour Nature, will get the Advantage over thoſe that re-
ftrain it. Tho' therefore London be a reform'd City, a
Latitude of Faith draws after it a greater of Principles;
and when theſe are rotten, how ſhall our Behaviour be
found?
Well, faid Neander, but fuppofe our Privy-Council
thinks fit to baniſh, by Proclamation, young Gentlemen
twenty Miles from the Town, will they remove out of
the Reach of Vice, and ſtand clear of thoſe Diſorders that
wait on a City Life? I fancy Vice is a Weed that over-
runs Villages as well as Towns; and a Man who re-
folves
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 489
{
folves to regale Appetite, may feaſt it in Northumberland;
nay, and at a cheaper Rate too. Now a low-feafon'd
Pleaſure that coſts but a Crown, reliſhes better, and rai-
fes a more agreeable Senfation on the Organ, than a high-
fpiced Satisfaction that coft twenty; and then for God's
fake, what Buſineſs have unfettled Gentlemen on their
Hands in their Father's Houſes? Do they not ſaunter
away their Lives in Kennels and Stables; and run them-
felves down in the Chace of Hares and Foxes? So that
living among Peaſants and Beafts, they put on the Beha-
viour of thofe, and all the Brutality of thefe; and thus
become half Man, half Beaft: For, in a Word, a Coun-
try-Gentleman is a Compound of much Pride, and little
Merit, a Sultan in a fmall Pariſh, a Tyrant in Bufto, and
a Clown at length; he eats much, but drinks more,
March Beer is his Nectar, and powder'd Beef his Ambro-
fium, and when he has lain fome Neighbours on their
Backs at the Barrel's-head, he fhines in the Top of hist
Glory.
You miſtake me, Neander, replied Eufebius, Lazineſs
and Plenty live in Hamblets, as well as Cities, and Vice
always makes a part of their Retinue; there is no Sanc-
tuary on this Side the Moon againſt Diſorders; no Sin
is a Prerogative only granted to Heaven; and tho' Grace
and Caution may preferve us from Guilt, they don't from
Danger.
But however this Plague rages more in Town than in
the Country, and carries off more there in one Pariſh in a
Week, than here in a whole Country in a Twelve-month.
Temptations follicit, but bad Company fpurs on to
Wickedness. If in the Country Debauchery be fome-
times practifed, in Towns it's openly profefs'd; here are
Schools and Academies of this Black Art, tho' not by
Licence, yet at leaft by Connivance. Procurefles receive
Stipends, and Gentlemen give Procreation Money as well
for their Pleaſures, as their Play: In ſhort, Wickedneſs
is brought to Method, Principle, and Demonftration; and
I fancy we fhall take up again our Anceſtors Trunk-
breeches, before we lay down this deteftable Science. Let
us ſuppoſe a Country-Gentleman is fomething too fevere
upon harmleſs Animals; is it not more pardonable to
run down a Hare, than an Eftate? To worry a Fox, than
Confcience? Take Things by the worst handle, and you
may
J
490
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
may fay he rides, hunts, fhoots, and faunters away his
Life: But a Town-Spark whores, blafphemes, drinks,
dices away Health, Eftate, and Soul into the Bargain. The
Diverfion of thoſe are mean, of theſe vicious and criminal.
Thoſe might live better, and theſe cannot worſe. This
being fo, the Diſorders of the former come not within
view of thoſe of the latter; thoſe ſpend their time like
Keepers, thefe like Fiends. Thofe fall below the level
of Gentlemen, and thefe of Chriftians.
What Remedy? fays Neander: More Caution and
lefs Ill-nature in Parents, anfwer'd Eufebius. Had they
more Care of their Children, theſe might have more Senfe
of their Duty. There would be lefs Idleneſs in the
World, and confequently lefs Vice. Let them apply be-
times their younger Sons to fome honeft Calling, that
they may beat out of Induftry and Labour a handfome
Livelihood. This will employ their Thoughts, and their
Time, and keep Temptation at a Diftance. A Man that
has honeſt Buſineſs on his Hands, feldom harbours difho-
neft Deligns in his Heart: Befides, it fecures his riper
Years. Nobility alone, as the World goes, is a flender
Inheritance. Good Blood muft have good Coin to ap-
pear fignificant, and make a Figure. A Gentleman that
lives by his Wits must turn off Confcience, and will
take leave of Religion. An Annuity of fifty Pounds per
Annum finks quickly to the Lees. An unlucky Throw of
the Dice fets it a-tilt. And then a Mifer's Stipend cafts.
him at least two Years behind-hand. Poverty hangs
heavy on all Men; it difpirits Courage, tempts Virtue,
and dares a Man to be wicked; it cafts him into De-
fpair. Now a Gentleman cannot poffibly fall into a
worfe Diſeaſe. For it deads all Thoughts of Birth, Ho-
nour, and Virtue, and forces him either to turn Pad on
the Road, or Sharper in Town; and then he ends his
Days by the Sword, or the Halter.
Parents muft fettle the Heir betimes: And it's more
adviſeable to do it a Year too foon, than a Month too
late. The Care of a Family will take up a great Part of
his Time, and of his Thoughts. And when they are
tied to Buſineſs, they will fcarce be at Leifure to purſue
criminal Pleafures. Generally our Heart and our Con-
cerns lodge in the fame Apartment, and when theſe lie
at Home, that feldom ftirs Abroad.
T. J.
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 491
T. J. was a young Gentleman of great Expectation.
His Eftate equall'd his Birth, and his Endowments both.
Nature had join'd a graceful Prefence to an extraordi-
nary Wit. So that it was hard to determine, whether
he ftood more obliged to Providence for the Symmetry
of his Body, or the Ornaments of his Soul. He was
paſt one and twenty, and I uſed all my Intereſt with his
Father to fettle him. I told him, in all Probability, his
Son would prove like the Prophet's Figs, either very good,
or very bad, that his Complexion promiſed nothing ordi-
nary. For he had great Paffions, tho' his Education chain'd
'em: And if they got looſe, they would drive him upon
the greateſt Extravagances. A Match of 10,000l. was
propos'd; and nothing remain'd to conclude it, but a
Settlement of 500l. per Annum in prefent upon the young
Gentleman his Son. But the very word Settlement threw
the old Gentleman off the Hinges, and ſcar'd him into all
the Poftures of Impatience; fuch Scenes of Extravagance
are ſeldom feen in Bethlem. Never Man in his Wits
better topt the Frenfies of a Madman. He was one of
thoſe who rave after Money, when they have leaſt uſe
for it; and furnifh their Pockets with great Viaticums,
when they are almoſt at their Journey's end. I thought
he was within an Ace of playing the Defperado, like
Apicius the Roman, who ftabbed himſelf with thirty thou-
fand Pounds in Cafh, out of an Apprehenfion of dying
in Poverty, and thus not to die a Beggar, expir'd like a
Madman. He was deaf to Advice, and Paffion had quite
maſter'd Reaſon. He ftill fuppofed the fame Pen that
fign'd the Conveyance, would write his Execution; that
Life and Money would go together.
The young Squire talked both of his Miftrefs and his
Money, took check, and over-acted the very Extrava-
gances of his Father. He fpurr'd to London, and left à
thouſand Curfes behind him. Here he ftruck up with
Sharpers, Scourers, and Alfatians. And to compleat his
Misfortune, made Acquaintance with the Players. He
bounded from bad to worſe, till he finiſhed a Courſe of
Debauchery, and undid himſelf to revenge his Father's
Unkindneſs.
The old Gentleman feem'd unconcern'd at his Son's
Misbehaviour, and comforted himſelf with good Wives
Proverbs, An untoward Child, faid he, will make a brave
Man;
1
492
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Man; he will take up when he has fow'd his wild Oats.
But alas, he took up only Money, Blafphemies, Lewdness,
and Irreligion: And all thoſe accurs'd Principles that ſtu-
pify Confcience, and give Liberty to Appetite. I had the
Fortune to meet this unhappy Gentleman. Gloomineſs
methought fat on his Face, and Difcontent appear'd in
every Motion. I fuppofe Confcience made fome Efforts
to reſcue him, and that a kind Remonftrance might lec-
ture him into his Duty. But no; he was too far gone
for a Cure. Vice had got the Afcendant, and twiſted it
felf with his Nature. He feem'd rather fond than afha-
med of his Exceffes, and almoft grown proud of his Mif-
behaviour. The Caufe of his Melancholly lay in his
Pocket. He had baffetted away his Money, and his
good Humour; and as his Debts fwell'd, his Credit
funk, and the Apprehenfions of Bailiffs and Catch-poles
dafh'd all his Sweets with Gall and Wormwood.
In fine, flefh'd in Debauchery, he was paft Recovery:
So that he run on in the broad Way, till a Stab ſtop'd
his Career, to begin a longer Courfe of Torments. Now
had his Father been kinder, he might have lived a fine
Gentleman, and died a pious Chriftian. But the old
Man's Avarice difcarded him of all the Sentiments of a
Parent. To fave a Penny, be expofed his Son, and ſo
ruin'd him eternally, to gratify a Caprice.
Well, faid Neander, this Cruelty of the Father ſhould
ftand upon Record as a perpetual Čaveat to Parents, and
the unfortunate End of the Son fhould ſcare young
Gentlemen from a hair-brain'd Paffion, debauch'd Com-
pany, and a Town Life. It's a Bleffing to reap Inftruc-
tion from another's Misfortune; but it's a fevere Pu-
niſhment to teach Pofterity by our own. You have con-
vinc❜d me, dear Eufebius, of the Danger ofa Town-Life;
and I will not run into the Arms of Temptation. We
are not fecure when we fly the Occafion, much leſs
when we court 'em.
I applaud your Refolution, reply'd Eufebius, Temp-
tations will certainly be too hard for good Counſel, and
Incentives to Vice for Exhortation to Virtue. If you
intend to fly Sin, retire from Danger. A pious Refolu-
tion is feldom Proof againſt a ſtrong Invitation to Evil.
Neander ſtaid fome Months with Eufebius; he had ſuch
a Reſpect for his Perfon, fuch a Veneration for his Virtue,
that
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 493
1
that nothing was able to wean him from his Converfa-
tion, but a peremptory Command of his Father to re-
turn Home.
DIALOGUE II.
How Eufebius behaved himself in the Management of
bis Eftate.
Eufebius had been train'd up in the Court and Camp;
yet he efpous'd the Vices of neither: He remember'd
the Covenant he had made in the Font of Baptiſm with
his Saviour; that there he renounced all Amity with the
World, and promis'd to comply with all the Maxims of
the Goſpel. He endeavour'd therefore to keep up to the
Height of the Engagement, and poftpon'd all temporal
Pretenfions to thofe of Eternity. A Senfe of his Duty to
his King and Country, fix'd him in both theſe Stations,
not a View of Intereft or Glory. And he has been often
heard to fay, That those who are Slaves to Money, command
Confcience, and fcorn to truckle to the vulgar Notions of
Good and Evil. So that an intereſted Man throws off
Honeſty, when he takes up the defire of Wealth; and is
as far from being a trufty Minifter to his Prince, as a
faithful Servant to his Mafter. In every Poft he beha-
ved himſelf with that Uprightnefs and Vigilance, nay,
and Succeſs alfo, that all confefs'd his Merits anfwer'd
his Station; but he never courted any Recompence, be-
fides the Satisfaction of having diſcharg'd his Duty. His
Ambition was to deferve Preferment, not by Placets to
extort it; nor was he ever heard to murmur (when put
by) that Favour over-top'd Merit, or that Recommenda-
tions took Place of long Service. At the Revolution he
withdrew from Bufinefs, and could never be perfuaded
to ftrike in with the new Government.
Having retreated from the Noife and Hurry of the
Town, he began to confider the Inftability of human
Things, and concluded that worldly Happineſs is preca-
rious, and ftands not only upon a Precipice, but upon
Ice too, altho' it's a difficult Point to prevail with a great
Man, and to depend on his Grandeur, or to perfuade
him
7
494
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
him his Station is flippery, or that the Babel he has rais'd
will fink into Duft, and bury him under the Ruins. If
Princes fall, faid he, where fhall Subjects find fure
footing? If we are unfafe, furrounded with Guards,
what Security without them? If Friends turn treache-
rous, who dare we truft? If Relations betray us, where
muſt we expect Fidelity? All this World can give, may
be taken away; fo that the moft wealthy, the moft dig-
nify'd Man upon Earth has this only Advantage above the
Peafant, that in a Moment he may tumble lower, and
confequently be more miſerable. For certainly he is leſs
unhappy whom Fortune never favour'd, than him ſhe has
forfaken. Why then do we unpeople Provinces to glut
our Ambition, and raiſe Cities to build proud Palaces up-
on their Ruins? Why do we unbowel the Earth to feaſt
our Avarice, and fweat under Ground to purchaſe Cares
and Diſcontent above it? For who has moſt to loſe, has
always moft to fear. The higheſt Station puts no Bounds
to an ambitious Spirit, nor the vaſteſt Treaſures to a co-
vetous one. When Alexander had even gotten all, he de-
fired ſomething more. His Wifhes fwell'd with his Con-
queft, and his Pride march'd farther than his Armies. His
Treaſures were immenfe, but his Prodigality was grea-
ter, and his Wants furpafs'd both. Money never makes
a Man rich; the more he has, the more he covets. He
is not poor that has enough, but he who poffeffes Milli-
ons, if he defires more.
Seeing therefore Inconftancy, Cares, Diſſatisfaction, and
either Emptiness or a Surfeit waits upon fublunary En-
joyments, why do we place our Happineſs fo low? And
court Vexation of Spirit for our fupream Felicity? God
has feated our true Enjoyments above the Smoak of this
inferior World, and out of the Reach of Cafualties. In
vain therefore we weary our felves in the purſuit of real
Satisfaction here, that is only to be found hereafter.
This Confideration fo wean'd Eufebius from the Love of
the World, that he flung up all Pretenfions to future Ad-
vancements, and refolv❜d to lay out his Time upon the
Purchaſe of a happy Eternity. He kept his Word, for
immediately he withdrew into the Country, and allied
all the Qualities of a Gentleman, fo handſomely with the
Duties of a Chriſtian, that it was hard to judge whether
his Behaviour was more genteel, or more religious. He
Was
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 495
was wont to ſay, Thofe lie under a Miſtake, who fancy
Virtue is an Enemy to good Breeding; that a Man must
turn off Civility to commence a Saint, and disband from
the Society of Men, to keep a Correfpondence with God.
No, no, continued he, Christianity makes Men bonest in-
deed, but not Clowns; it forbids Grimace, but not Sin-
cerity; it puts a Mean between Foppiſhneſs and Rufticity,
and forbids to fhew no Breeding by affecting to fhew too
much. Virtue fmooths the Brow as well as the Confcience,
and knows to temper innocent Mirth with a feafonable Re-
fervedness. So that we may keep up to the Height of our
Duty to God, without dropping our Obligation to Neigh-
bourbood and Society.
Eufebius divided the Day between Devotion, Buſineſs,
and innocent Diverfions; or rather he devoted it entirely
to God; becauſe he raiſed to a fupernatural End the
moſt indifferent Actions, and never withdrew his Thoughts
from his Creator, even in the Government of his Fami-
ly, or Heat of his Recreations. So foon as he was up,
he retired into his Clofet, and pafs'd an Hour either in
Prayer, or the reading lof good Books. And he took
fuch a Pleaſure in them, that he renounced all unprofit-
able and profane Lectures, in which fo many Perfons
employ their Time to avoid Idleneſs, by an Idleneſs no
lefs vain, and often more dangerous.
He could not endure the ridiculous Affectations of ma-
ny Gentlemen, that is not only paſs'd into a Cuftom, but
almoft into a Law, who fuppofe the leaft infight into.
their Concerns forfeits their Patent, and throws 'em be-
low the level of Quality; that it's a Mark of Peafantry
to balance their Incomes with their Expences; or to take
Notice whether their Revenues will keep touch with
their Prodigality. One would think Gentlemen took
Mr. Dryden's Satyr in Don Sebaftian for a Panegyrick,
who allows 'em full Pockets, and empty Heads; great
Eftates in Land, and none in Wit.
Eufebius thought it no more below the Station of a
Gentleman, to take Care of an Eſtate, than to poffefs one.
He fufpected not the Fidelity of his Steward, yet he
thought it againſt the Laws of Prudence to truſt him too
far; for he knew Men are feldom careful of others Con-
cerns, when they are negligent in their own: That it's a
dangerous Experiment, to put even Honefty it ſelf to the
Trial.
496
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
1
ces.
Trial. For alas, it's odds, that a Servant will cheat with-
out Scruple, when he can without Diſcovery. He there-
fore every Week call'd his Steward to Account, view'd
the Regiſters, and balanc'd his Receipts with his Expen→
And thus he kept within Compaſs, and lived hand-
fomely upon his own, not upon the Sweat of poor Shop-
keepers and Labourers. For he look'd on the taking
upon Credit, as a Blur to a Gentleman's Reputation.
And he uſed to fay, To run deep in Merchant's Books, is
an infallible Symptom of a finking Estate, or a loft Conſci-
ence. For who will run upon Tick that has Money
in Hand? Or, who intends to pay his Debts that has
Credit to Contract them, and no Fund to quit Scores?
He therefore modell'd his Family to his Eitate, not to
his Quality, and his Equipage to his Purſe, not to his Ti-
tle. For neither Patent nor Coronets are a Protection to
Injustice. And certainly he is guilty of this Crime, who
contracts Debts he knows himſelf unable to conceal :
Indeed it's a Gentleman's Practice, and fo is the Breach
of all God's Commands: But alas, Quality can't fancti-
fy an ill Action, nor unhallow a good one.
Eufebius could not endure to enter his Name in Mer-
chant's Books; he would therefore rather defer a Pur-
chaſe, than take it upon Truft. He compared Debtors.
to the Man in the Gofpel, poffefs'd by a Legion of De-
vils; when one goes out, a hundred return to torment
him. The thought of a Bailiff throws 'em into Fits;
and the fight of a Creditor, like the Eye of a Bafilisk,
ftrikes 'em dead with Apprehenfion: So that they fear
the Light, and like Owls and Bats range in Darkneſs and
Obfcurity; they confine themſelves out of Fear of being
confined, and commit themſelves clofe Priſoners to their
Lodgings, not to be mew'd up in a Dungeon. In a word,
they lead the Lives of Criminals, fear every Man, are
fcorn'd by all, and pitied by none; and too often, in ſpite
of Caution, they too took up in a Jail, and there die un-
regarded, like Rats, behind the Hangings.
One Day a young Gentleman gave Eufebius a Vifit. He
was one of thoſe who place all their Concerns in this
World, without a regard to the other. An extravagant
Admirer of Life, and yet feem'd to be tired of it. He
lived ſo faſt, that he out-lived a Year in one Day; and
one would have thought his only Bufinefs was to poft to
his
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 497 ·
his Grave. He had a handfome Eftate, but too fmall for
his Prodigality; it anfwer'd the Dignity of a Knight, but
his Expences kept Pace with thofe of a Duke; fo that in
a few Years it run upon the Lees, and his Credit funk
with his Fortune. A Creditor found him out, and with
Submiffion demanded of his Worſhip the Payment of a
Debt; but he had been fo often haunted by fuch Spirits,
that he had the knack of laying, as well as raifing them.
For he was laviſhing of Promiſes, though ſparing in the
Performance, and always gave great Hopes, but never
Money.
Well, fays Eufebius, when he had difmifs'd the Man,
may I enquire into the Fellow's Bufinefs. I fuppofe he
forgot his Diſtance, and paſs'd the Bounds of Civility;
for you feem'd in a ferment, and difmifs'd him with
Warmth and Expoftulation.
The Rafcal, anfwer'd the Spark, duns me for a Debt
of ten Years ſtanding; as if I enter'd his Books only
Yeſterday.
:
Nay, faid Eufebius, with a fmile, that's infufferable.
What? To bait a Gentleman for an old Debt is unhand-
fome, and affronting too. For, what was Paffion given
us, but to let loofe upon fo provoking Occafions? Thofe
Rogues fhould be muzzled, and bound up to their good
Behaviour: Befides, the Sum perchance is inconfiderable.
A Trifle, reply'd the Gentleman, not above a hun-
dred Pounds, the Price of a Winter and Summer Suit.
My Mind gave me,. faid Eufebius, the Fellow was a
Taylor; his Gate and Impudence proclaim'd his Profef-
fion. A Varlet without Breeding, without Conſcience, or
good Nature, thus to way-lay a Gentleman; to break in
upon his Retirement, to fhirk into an Audience; nay, and
come upon fo unwelcome an Errand, argues fmall Reſpect
for Quality, and lefs Behaviour. And then, where is
the Rafcal's Confcience to demand a Debt of ten Years
ftanding? A Taylor's Right wears out with his Merchan-
dize. And when a Gentleman throws off his Cloaths,
he makes over the Obligation of Payment to his Valet de
Chambre. A Taylor fhould no more think of afking a
Debt, than a Gentleman of paying it. But, dear Sir,
Raillery apart. Can time préfcribe againſt Juftice? Muft-
a Man forfeit his Right, becauſe you fling up your Inno-
cence? Or is it a lefs Impudence to refufe a juft Payment,
than
:
К К
་
498 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
than to follicit it? Believe me, Sir, he is not to blame
who afks his due, but he who compels him. And it's
lefs becoming to live at free Quarter upon Merchants
and Tradefmen, than to demand Satisfaction for the
Grievance.
You remember, I prefume, that once upon a Time, a
Daw of great Family, but fmall Revenues, had a Month's
Mind to be fine. He was low in Cafh, but fluſh of Cre-
dit; and ſo took up on Tick a gaudy Equipage. He
lorded it among his Neighbours; and forgetting his Pe-
digree, pretended Alliance to the Bird of Paradife. But
in the Height of his Proſperity his Creditors attack'd him;
and being unable to return either Money or Security,
they ftrip'd him of his Bravery, and turn'd him into the
Woods, in puris naturalibus." And then all thofe Syco-
phants, that fawn'd upon his Fortune, laugh'd at his Fol-
ly, and turn'd Sir John Daw into plain Jack; nay, and
threw him among the Roots for his Puniſhment.
There needs no Key to the Fable. The Application
fits on the Surface. Nay, our Sparks have been at the
charge of turning it into real Story, and fo are ſad In-
ftances both of the Bird's Pride on the one fide, and
Folly on the other, and though they barter not their Qua-
lity, they are ſtrip'd of its Support; and then they knock
off naked of Ornament, and confequently of regard.
For Nobility, without Caſh, makes but a lean Figure;
one Ounce of Gold weighs forty Coats of Arms. Tho'
the Blood of a Hero rowls in your Veins, if Chink has
forfaken your Pocket, you muft fhear off to Rooks for a
Maintenance; for Regard rifes and falls by the fecret In
fluence of Metal.
Pray, Sir, a Paraphrafe if you pleafe, reply'd the Gen-
tleman, on the Parable; for, I confefs, I am unable to
fee through it, unleſs you intend by a fly Innuendo to
condemn me to the Trade of Purfe-taking on the King's
Highway. Under Favour, faid Eufebius, it's not my Pro-
vince to fet any Man his Taſk; but I am a kind of Figure-
flinger, and pretend to tell young Mens Fortunes, not in-
deed by the help of the black Art, but by their own Con-
duct. You take upon Truft with both Hands, and pay with
neither; you wade up to the Chin in Taylor's Books; you
fink over Head and Ears in Vintners; card away 500!.
in a Night, and fling into a Miſs's Lap 1000. maintain
one
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 499
one Family in the Country, another in the Town. You
receive 2000l. per Annum, and diſburſe Five. Now
where muſt this Prodigality end, but in Poverty, Con-
tempt, and Deſpair? And when a Gentleman is waited
on by three fuch Attendants, he is equip'd for any Prac-
tice. Neceflity is a bad Counſellor, and Defpair a worſe;
and I can affure you, they have fet fome Gentlemen up-
on unwarrantable Enterprizes: For when they have no
Fund to live on, they muft live by their Wits, and then
they are forc'd to caft up their Accounts at Old Baily's,
and to pay the Reckoning at Hyde-Park Corner.
Young Gentlemen muft live up to their Birth, faid
the Gentleman.
Provided, anſwered Eufebius, their Purfe runs even
with their Quality. For otherwiſe Title muſt ſtoop to
Revenues, and Figure muft fhrink to Neceffity. It's ill
Huſbandry to glitter in Equipage, like a Prince, for a
Twelve-month, and then to fneak into a Corner with a
folitary Lacquey, down at Heels, and out at Elbows; to
turn off from a Guinea Ordinary to the Baſket, or to
ftand obliged for a Meal, to the Courtefy of Relations all
your Life after. But this is not our Cafe neither. Few
Gentlemen break their Eftates by ftretching them to
their Birth, but beyond it. A Squire will vie Prodiga-
lity with a Lord, and a Knight with a Duke. Now, alas!
how can two Thoufand per Annum hold out with Ten?
It muſt jade and founder in a ſhort time, and lay its Maf
ter like a tired Tit in the Mire.
But ſuppoſe theſe Misfortunes wait not upon you,
where is Confcience?
Nay, reply'd the Gentleman, in good Hands I affure
you. For certainly, Confcience may be well, though
my Eſtate be fick. I may balance Accounts with God,
though I am behind Hand with my Neighbour.
Not fo eaſily neither, faid Eufebius. For when a Gen-
tleman takes upon Credit, Confcience enters Bond for
the Payment; and if the Eftate cannot anſwer the In-
cumbrance, that will be uneafy. Pray, Sir, continued
Eufebius, is there no fuch Law as, Thou shalt not steal!
Without doubt, anfwer'd N. N.
And does this Precept take in, faid Eufebius, only
Pads and Cut-purſes?
K k ż
14
Janof
1
500
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
It forbids, faid N. N. all acts of Injuftice; nay, and
reftrains Defires. It's ill even to covet an ill Thing;
and he who defigns to over-reach his Neighbour, tranf-
greffes the Law, as well as he who deceives him.
Your Cafuiftry, reply'd Eufebius, is found and or-
thodox, but not your Practice. For do you not force
poor Creatures to change their Labour into a continual
Attendance; to faunter away their Time in an Anti-
Chamber, and then to return home with empty Promi-
fes? Nay, and it's often taken for a Civility not to be
affronted; and for Payment in part, not to be deny'd
(with a God damn ye) for the whole. Now when a Cre-
ditor muſt be eternally upon the Trot to come up to his
Debtor, and ply at all the Coffee-Houfes for Intelligence
of his Haunts, the Irons cool at Home, Trade finks,
Work is at a ſtand, and a Bankrupt treads upon his
Heels. For how fhall a Merchant pay his Debts, who
receives none? Now, Sir, here is lucrum ceffans on the
one Hand, and damnum emergens on the other, and in
the Sight of God you ftand refponfible for both: They
will be put to your Accounts, and you must either re-
pair them here, or fuffer for them hereafter.
For God's fake, Sir, faid N. N. who bids thofe Raf-
cals run upon the Hunt, and trace my Motions; nay,
and break my Head; with importunate Sollicitations?
Muft I answer for their Folly, and pay for their Extra-
vagance? Let them keep within Doors, and carry on
their Trade, I will not intermeddle in their Concerns.
That is, Sir, reply'd Eufebius, if they will fit down
with their Lofs, you are fatisfy'd; if they will take your
Honour for their Security, and crofs Scores for Promiſes,
or be content with a Lacquey with a Cudgel for Pay-
maſter, I eaſily believe you. If all the Creditors in the
Nation will vouchfafe to burn their Regifters, Spend-
thrifts will be at the Expence of the Execution, and ap-
plaud their Genèrofity. And if they pleafe to give in
good Security never to importune you with unpleaſant
Vifits, you will fecure them of Non-payment.
I fancy you are got into a Vein of Drollery. But the
Miſchief is, with fome People a Jeft improves into an
Argument, and Raillery grows up into Reafon. But de-
ceive not your felf; thofe who put off Payment with
dilatory Pretences, not only bid their Creditors neglect
their
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 50r
A
their Trade and Family, but force them: For without
Importunity nothing is done. They muſt beg for their
due, as hard as for an Alms; and fpend more Time in
recovering their Money, than in earning it. It's as eafy
to dig the Oar out of the Mines of Potoft, as to impor-
tune a Debt out of the Pocket of a Prodigal.
But if a poor Tradefman by fuch an Injuftice chance
to go down in the World, to fuffer a Seizure of his
Goods, or his Perfon, you muft Account for the Da-
mages alfo. For you are the Caufe of his Misfortune,
and by confequence muft anſwer for it.
To be plain, faid N. N. my Eftate lies Sick of a
Conſumption; the Dice have prey'd upon its Vitals;
and Riot has brought it fo low, that I fear it's now paft
Recovery. I cannot cancel paft Scores without throw-
ing my felf into a Neceffity of drawing in my Retinue,
or living upon Courtefy. Now either Way expofes my
Reputation to the publick Obloquy, and my Perfon ra-
ther to Raillery than Compaffion. For Misfortune in
our Age is a Jeft of it felf, and a little Fooling upon the
Subject makes bad Circumſtances infupportable. When a
Coat is Thread-bare, how eafy is it to pick a Hole?
When a Man can ſcarce keep his Head above Water, a
fmall Weight plunges him to the bottom. Though he
may ftruggle againſt one Committimus, a Leafh will cer-
tainly fink him in a Dungeon; and thefe Furies feldom
appear fingle. I confefs my Inclination leans not towards
the King's-Bench, or the Marfhalfea. I am for a free
Air, and hate to lie at the Mercy of a Turnkey.
•
It's more eafy, anfwer'd Eufebius, to commit, than
to excuſe an Injustice. Eftate Diſeaſes, like thoſe of the
Body, must be cured by a flender Diet. Riot and High-
fare enforce the Fever, enflame the Blood, and breed ill
Humours. And I have known fome Eftates brought back
from the laft Agony to a perfect State of Health and Vi-
gour, by a fhort Pittance of Barley-Broth. I perfuade
you to make a Trial of the Recipe, enter into a Courſe
of Phyfick. But then, as you hope for Benefit, come
not within the Smoak of the Town; the Remedy requires
the freſh Air of the Campaign, Retirement and Solitude.
To fpeak plain, retrench Expences, difmifs Equipages,
reform Attendants, referve one fourth Part of your Re-
venues for Subfiftence, and three for Creditors. Five
hundred
Kk 3
502
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
hundred per Annum well managed, will go farther than
two thouſand ill. And altho' the Sum anſwers not the
Extravagances of a Town Debauchee, it will keep touch
with the Occafion of a fober Gentleman. For Ican af-
fure you, Birth is not fo expenfive as Prodigality; Gra-
vity of Behaviour and Moderation fet it off, and give it
a finer Luftre than all the coftly Trappings of Pomp,
Equipage, and Riot.
But People will laugh, if you fhrink your Figure, pack
up for the Country, and ftint Expences? Suppofe they
do; to ftifle their Mirth, will you pawn an Estate? And
play the Fool to buy off their Fooling? Will you rather
ftand their Scorn than their Merriment? And be defpi-
fed in Poverty, than rally'd in a comfortable Fortune?
Retrieve your Eſtate, and Credit will rife in Proportion;
he never wants Regard, who is ftock'd with Money; nor
he Contempt, who is unfurniſh'd.
:
Sparing and Parfimony lead not to Newgate, or the
King's-Bench; but Prodigality, Gaming, Wine, and
Miffes Creditors will bear more Years with Men, who
take fure Meaſures to pay their Debts, than Days with
thoſe who increaſe them.
But methinks Confcience and Duty fhould take place
of all temporal Views. A Chriftian that believes there,
is a Hell to puniſh Injuftice, fhould not make himſelf
miſerable beyond Redemption, upon a groundleſs Forfei-
ture of Reputation. For on my Word, dear Sir, Credit
in the next World is no Protection; when once Injustice
has plunged you into Flames, the Reputation of Alexan-
der will not bail you.
Now, as I faid before, it's a heavy Injuftice to pay
Merchants only with empty Promifes, and yet more
heavy to return for Ware, Curfes, and Imprecations,
For to be free with you, Sir, Gentlemen that diſcharge
their Debts with fuch adulterate Coin, enhance the reck-
oning, and commence Thieves and Robbers. Indeed
they play not at ſmall Game upon the King's Highway,
nor take a Purſe with a Piſtol in their Hand, and a Damn
ye deliver in their Mouths. They have more concern
for their Skin, than to embark in an Enterprize that
leads to a Halter. But, however, tho' they endanger not
their Necks, they ftab their Confcience; and if they
ftand clear of the Infamy of Padding, they avoid not the
Guilt.
A
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 503
Guilt. For to refuſe Payment is no leſs an Injustice be-
fore God, than to plunder on the Highway.
God forbid I fhould refuſe Payment, faid N. N. But
alas, I am in no Condition. My Debts run high, and
my Eftate low; Taxes fweep away one part, my Family
another; and when prefent Expences exceed Receipts,
how fhall I crofs out the paft?
Under favour, faid Eufebius, you refuſe by your
Conduct, though not by your Words, and that is more
fignificant, nor lefs criminal. You rattle in a Coach.
and Six; glitter in Embroidery; hector in Taverns, and
fleep upon the Dice. You take up at Intereſt, and yet
pay none. Is not this the ftraight way to beggar your
felf firft, and then all you deal with? For is not fuch a
Miſmanagement the High-road to Beggary; and confe-
quently does it not lead you into an Impoffibility of pay-
ing? If you refufe not Payment, apply due Means, lef-
fen Charges, and ſtint Prodigality to meer Neceffaries :
This is your Intereft as well as Duty. And it no lefs
concerns your Eftate than your Soul. For in a Word, I
muft repeat it, without Reparation of Damages, there is
no Salvation. Who wilfully leaves this World in Debt,
must pay it in the other; and tho' he eludes the Profe-
cution of Creditors here, he cannot avoid the Juſtice of
the Almighty hereafter.
The Gentleman heard good Counfel, and was within
an Ace of following it. He faw his Eftate lie at Stake,
together with his Soul, and that he pofted on to Beggary
and Damnation. He confefs'd Eufebius's Advice was
the moſt ſecure, tho' the lefs palatable; and good Huf-
bandry might retrieve his finking Fortune, and furniſh
Supplies for Uſe and Payment. But on a fudden, for-
footh, he would turn Politician, and play'd the Fool out
of a Principle of Wifdom. The Matter calls, faid he,
for Deliberation and Thought; Repentance treads on the
Heels of quick Refolutions; pray give me leave to pauſe
before I leap from one Extream to the other:
He took Leave of Eufebius, and pofted to Town, and
with the fame Speed to his Ruin. For here Prodigality
began his Misfortune, and ill Counſel compleated it. He
fubpoena'd a Juncto of defperate Debauchees to his Lodg-
ings; he open'd the State of his Concerns, and the Advice
of Eufebius. But he might as well have flown for Sanc-
Kk4
tuary
504 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed,
tuary into a Den of Affaffins, or fecur'd his Purfe in the
Hands of a Highwayman, or learn'd the Way to Para-
dife from the Devil himſelf, as expect wholfome Advice
from thoſe who follow the worft, and place Intereft be-
fore Conſcience. Thefe Harpies had given a helping
Hand to the Gentleman's Misfortune, and thruft him
blindfold upon the Brink of the Precipice. They gain'd
by his Loffes, and drain'd his Purfe at Play to fill their
own; fo that to counfel Parfimony, was to plead againſt
themſelves, and dam up the Channel that fupplied their
Debaucheries with Nouriſhment.
Your
What Wonder therefore their Advice was as contrary
to Eufebius's, as their Deſigns? Deſperate Remedies, fay
they, are only to be apply'd in defperate Diſeaſes. Who
will lop off an Arm or a Leg for a Pimple? Or drink
Antimony for a Tertian? When there is no Cure, ſome-
thing may be ventur'd; but when there is no Danger,
take not a Bowl of Ratsbane for a Prefervative.
Eſtate, Sir, is encumber'd, but not ſpent; it runs low,
but I fuppofe Merchant's Regiſters are not like enchant-
ed Circles, when once you are in, there is no ſtepping
out. One lucky Chance at Dice will refcue all, and
make Scores even. Fortune has indeed frown'd upon
you; fhe will begin to fmile. She is a Female, fond of
Change, unaccustom'd to Conftancy; and when the has
thrown off her Spleen and Ill-nature, fhe over-fets a Man
with Kindness and Courtship. T. W. was brought to a
folitary Guinea; but then good Luck veer'd about into
the right Corner, and this fingle Piece fetch'd back twen-
ty Thouſand; fo that he had never foar'd fo high, had
he not fell fo low, nor efcap'd his Ruin, had he not come
fo near it.
:
This Remedy was indeed more dangerous than the
Diſeaſe, and as mortal to Eſtate-diftempers, as Poiſon to
thoſe of the Body. However, they ftole upon his blind
Side, fo that he furrender'd not only without Refiftance,
but even with Pleafure and Tranfport. Gaming was his
predominant Paffion, and this eaſily reconcil'd his Pa-
late to the Prefcription; nay, and turn'd the Medicine
into a Regale. You have nick'd, faid he, the Point.
He that cures disjointed Eftates by Recreation, and con-
veys Health thro' Pleaſure, is a Surgeon in good earneſt.
He falls then to Gaming; but, alas, cogg'd Dice were
too
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
505
too hard for good Luck; and Fortune, that turn'd tail
before, now quite deferted him. His Bags droop'd, and
his Credit hung the Wings; his Money was flown, and
though his Lands changed not their place, they went over
to other Landlords. All his Companions, like Rats in a
Storm, abandon'd the finking Veffel, and he found himſelf
in a Jail, before he dream'd of a Bailiff. Here this un-
fortunate Gentleman fees his paft Errors, but no way
to correct 'em. Loft Grace may be recover'd by Tears,
but not Eftates. We may weep our felves into Heaven,
not into a Fortune, nor out of Confinement. He mea-
fures a great Length, that vaults from abundance into
Poverty. The fall dafhes in pieces not only the profpect,
but the very hope of a return. Nothing remains but the
fenſe of the prefent Calamity, and the remembrance of a
paft Felicity. So that, like the damn'd, they are tor-
mented with the Pain of Lofs, as well as with that of
Senſe; and the Ghoft of their darling Pleaſures, revive
meerly to perform the Office of Executioners. But did
thefe poor Gentlemen underſtand this obvious Piece of
Chymiſtry, to tranfmute Neceflity into Virtue, to bear
with refignation to Providence, the Misfortune, Folly, and
Sin have drawn upon them, I would pronounce them
happy in their Misfortune; but, alas, they rather rage
than repent, deplore their Reſtraint without dropping
one Tear for their Debauches, the cauſe of it; and fo in
the end they ſtep from one Dungeon to a worfe, from a
temporal Confinement, to an eternal one. This is the
end of thoſe who receive Favours without Thanksgiving,
and Puniſhment without Humiliation; that neither praife
God for his Mercies, nor pray to him under his Judg-
ments.
How Eufebius behaved himself to his Domefticks.
Tho' Eufebius retired from the Town, he intended not
to turn Hermit, not to disband from Society and Con-
verfation. He was no publick Enemy, like Timon to his
Species, nor a Friend to Sournefs and Ill-nature. He
knew the Life of a Chriftian might ſtand with that of a
Gentleman; that he might comply with all the Duties
of Religion, without ftepping below his Station. He
therefore kept up an Equipage, rather genteel than great;
!
it
506 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
it anſwer'd his Quality, and was proportion'd to his Re-
venues. So that he neither incumber'd his Eftate with
unfeaſonable Expences, nor better'd it by a fordid Par-
fimony. He was content with his prefent Fortune, and
neither defired to be greater, nor fear'd much to be leſs.
For indeed he was too low for Envy, and yet too high
for Contempt.
I.
He rather behav'd himſelf to his menial Servants like.
a Father than a Maſter; and always treated 'em as free-
born Subjects, not Slaves. He could not endure the Con-
duct of thoſe Gentlemen, who fhew lefs concern for
a poor Domeſtick, than a Beaſt of Burthen, and let him
live a Brute without Religion or Inftruction, fo he car-
ries on their Bufinefs, and works himſelf down to fupport
their Riot. He was fenfible the difference even between
a Prince and a Peafant lies in Fortune, not in Nature;
that their Pretenfions in the next World are equal; and
that even in this, a Slave in the Sight of God that practi-
fes Virtue, is more noble than an Emperor over-grown
with Sin. He thought therefore himſelf obliged in Duty
and Conſcience to take care of their Souls, as well as of
their Bodies; to allow Inftructions as well as Food, and
to accompany their Wages with an Addition of good
Counſel.
2.
For this purpoſe he entertain'd a Chaplain, whofe Bufi-
nefs was only to inftruct the Family, to inftil the Princi-
ples of Chriftianity into the Hearts of his Domeſticks;
to train them up in Virtue, withdraw 'em from Vice, and
to bring 'em into Acquaintance with their Duty; which
is feldom known, and more feldom practifed by this fer-
vile Rank of Men. What Religion are you of, faid a Lady
of my Acquaintance to her Maid? Religion, forsooth,
anſwer'd the poor Creature, is for Gentlefolks. She
fuppofed Drudgery was the End of her Creation; that
Expectation of future Happineſs lay out of her Way.
And thus fhe liv'd in Christendom like a Barbarian in the
Wilds of America, without Hope of a future Reward, or
Fear of Puniſhment. Hence Gentlemen's Families ſerve
too often for Nurſeries to Newgate, and the Stews. For
their Dependants being brought up in Idlenefs on the one
Hand, and Licentioufnefs on the other, when difmifs'd,
they
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
507
they know not where to retire: And fo the Maids live
Proſtitutes, and the Men die Thieves and Robbers.
Whereas did they train up their Domeſticks in Chriſtian
Principles, and inure them to the Practice, they would
prove more uſeful even to the Management of their tem-
poral Concerns, and lefs burthenfome to the State.
For certainly a Man that has no Principle of Religion,
has lefs of Morality. Few People are juft, that have no
Reafon to be fo, and many Invitations to Treachery and
Deceit. With what Security therefore can a Mafter em-
ploy thofe in Bufinefs, who only change the Diſcovery
of a Theft with the Sin, and vary the Fact, like the La-
cedemonians, into a Virtue? Alas, Infidelity will baffle,
Caution, and over-reaching will beat out more Plots, than
an Argus can diſcover. Who has a Conſcience needs no
Spies, and who has none will out-wit a hundred.
3.
Eufebius would never admit a Debauchee into his Ser-
vice. He thought no Man would be faithful to his Ma-
fter, who was a Traitor to his God; much leſs careful
of another's Concerns, who was forgetful of his own. Be-
fides, Vice is diffufive, and fpreads by Commerce like the
Plague. One wicked Perfon throws the Contagion a-
mong a thouſand, and it's odds fome will take it up;
and when once it gains upon a Family, it feldom ftops,
till the Infection becomes epidemical, and the Distemper
incurable. So that he always examin'd more narrowly
a Servant's Behaviour than his Abilities; and oftentimes
a good Life atoned for unexperience. Clumfinefs, faid
he, may be poliſh'd by civil Converſation, and Skill may
be improved by Practice, but vitious Habits feldom wear
off: They are too ftubborn for Inftruction, and Proof
to Homily, and good Counfel.
4.
When he was forc'd to reprehend, he avoided Heat,
and never flew out into Strains of Indecency. He knew
that Anger was ungovernable and clamorous; and as
unfit to give, as to take Advice. It drowns Reaſon by
Noife and Tumult, and feldom pronounces a juft Sentence,
but when it intends an unjuſt one: It throws a Man off
his Guard, and even below his Dignity, and betrays thoſe
Weakneffes we fhould bluſh to own upon the Torture.
Hence he uſed to ſay, that a cholerick Correction was
feldom
508
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
3
feldom well taken; that it rather irritated, than heal'd;
and ftruck out Refentment, not Sorrow. Wherefore his
Words were as mild as his Countenance; and the Sedate-
neſs of his Geſture anſwer'd the Sweetneſs of his Language.
Nothing opprobrious pafs'd his Lips, nothing tempeftu-
ous, nothing unbefeeming the Mouth of a Gentleman,
or the Ears of a Chriftian. In fine, his Reprimands tafted
always ftronger of Honey than of Gall; and they were
receiv'd by fome with Repentance, by all with Patience,
and by none with Indignation.
Some Gentlemen of his Acquaintance took the liberty
to tell him, that his Mildneſs would foon meet with Con-
tempt, and his Affability with Scorn; that theſe under-
rate Mortals are as incapable to be moved by Kindneſs,
as to practice it; that a Cane mends more Faults in a
Quarter, than dogmatizing in a Twelve-month; and that
nothing affects their Will, but what lies heavy upon their
Senfe. But thofe Sparks talk juft as they acted, and
only diſapprov'd Eufebius's Method by commending their
own. However, an unlucky Accident admonifh'd one of
thefe Cenfors of his Miſtake, and convinced him ad ho-
minem, that Roughneſs is not always in Seaſon, and that
Blows rather provoke, than awe an inferior, and fooner
ftir up Difobedience than Reſpect.
By chance poor Dick reaching the Oil to his Mafter,
liquor'd his Wig, and the Over-fight fpread to the Borders
of a new Suit a-la-mode. The poor Fellow fuffer'd the
Rack in the very Accident, and expired the Guilt of the
Offence in the very Commiffion: But the Squire, who was
extreamly fmitten with Drapery, and rated the Ornaments
of his Back, above all the Embellifhments of his Brain,
broke out into all the Indecencies of Language and Ge-
fture. He first damned poor Dick to the Pit of Hell;
then Son-of a-whor'd him to all Intents and Purpoſes;
and, in fine, bedaub'd him with all the unbefeeming
Tropes of Billinfgate and the Bear-garden. The very
Knowledge of fuch mean ftuff mif-befeems a Gentleman;
but the ſpeaking it degrades him, recalls his Patent, and
breaks his Efcutcheon. Dick begg'd his Pardon, but Rage
got the afcendant over Monfieur's Reafon, and Fury
would not hearken to any Articles of Accommodation,
The Spark flew from the Table, the Oil had fired the
Brain, and purfued Dick with a Cane in his Hand, and
Oaths
;
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 509
Oaths in his Mouth: The poor Wretch would have
compounded for a Limb; but when he faw no way open
for a Retreat, he fac'd about: The Cane had beat out all
Refpect, and Self-prefervation took place of Duty and
Obedience. He returned with Ufury the Blows he had
received. In fine, the Man maſter'd the Maſter; and
plain Dick over-top'd Right Worshipful. The Company
ſtep'd in between; fome ftared, and others rail'd, and
all laugh'd at the Comedy. After Dinner, Eufebius took
the Gentleman afide, and minded him of his Extrava-
gance.
Í ſuppoſe, Sir, ſaid he, you have drop'd your for-
mer Opinion. That an high Hand, and an imperious
Brow, keep Servants to their Duty. The best way to per-
fuade them to obey with Refpect, is to command with
Moderation. Judge firft of Faults before you puniſh
them, and never fwell a Fly into an Elephant. You muft
wink at fome Offences, laugh at others, and chaſtiſe all
with Calmness and Charity: Put a difference between a
Chance and a deliberate Action. Treat not an innocent
Over-fight, and a malicious Treafon with the fame Seve-
rity: Proportion the Pain to the Fault; and fo when the
Offence is trivial, take care the Puniſhment be not exor-
bitant. When a Servant deſerves a Cane, it's time to
difmifs him; and it's more honourable to turn him off,
than to ſtoop to the Function of a Town Beadle. In a
Word, Sir, remember, that to engage with an Equal is
dangerous, with a Superior fooliſh, and with an Inferi-
or contemptible.
5.
Eufebius's Conduct won all his Domeſticks; not only
their Hands, but alſo their Hearts lay at his Devotion:
They carry'd on his Intereft with as much Eagerness, as
if they promoted their own: They refpected him as a
Mafter, and loved him as an indulgent Father. And
the fear of difpleafing him kept them more within the
compaſs of their Duty, than the apprehenfion of Puniſh-
ment; and they rather defir'd to feel his Anger, than to
deferve it.
6.
Swearing and Blafpheming are comprehenfive Vices;
and if Cuſtom had the fecret of Tranfmutation, like
Chymifts, they would challenge a place among the Vir-
túes.
:
1
$10 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
1
tues: Chriſtians who are forbid to fwear by any thing,
affume liberty of fwearing by all things: One would
think the Breach of the Precept, was the only defign they
aim'd at; and Difobedience to God's Commands, their
only Diverfion. Gentlemen, without doubt, firft brought
this hellifh Dialect into Faſhion, and Servants who are
their Betters, have improv'd it.
Great Gentlemen's Families have laid down the Lan-
guage of their Country, to take up that of the damn'd;
and it's hard to determine, whether thofe Mafters, who
permit fuch hideous Expreffions, are more guilty than
thoſe who ſpeak them.
Eufebius could not endure this execrable Jargon. It
four'd his Blood, and made his Hearing a Burthen. A
thouſand good Qualities in a Servant, made no Atone-
ment, in his Opinion, for this only bad one; and though
he pitied thofe Failures, that favour'd of Weakneſs, he
never gave quarter to blafpheming: Others Vices, faid he,
make bold with God's Commands, this out-rages his very
Perfon; is adds Infult to Difobedience, and Contempt to
Abuse: It's a Symptom of no Religion. For who will revile
the very Being he adores? Or rally and workhip the fame
Object? And then what Respect can a Mafter expect from
him that turns upon his Creator, and flies in the Face of the
Omnipotent? In fine, continued he, they are Nufances to
human Nature, and deferve rather to be profecuted as
publick Enemies to our Species, than to be entertain❜d as
Domefticks. He endeavour'd to reclaim them by Re-
proof and Exhortation; but when he faw no Amend-
ment, he diſmiſs'd 'em without delay. No Interceffion of
Friends, or Proſpect of Intereft, could perfuade him to
harbour thefe declar'd Enemies of the Almighty. They
affront the virtuous, debauch the unwary, and are both
a Scandal and Grievance to the Family they live in. Re-
bels to God fhould be barr'd of Protection, no less than
Traitors to their Prince. To receive the guilty, is to
countenance their Crime, as really in one Cafe as in the
other.
Had Gentlemen a due regard for the Honour of God,
id eft, were they Chriftians in good earneft, thefe
wretched Liberties of their Servants would ftop their
Blood, and make them ſweat with a Difguft and Horrour;
they would difcard theſe puny Giants who dare defy the
Omni-
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 511
Omnipotent, and invoke his Name to burlefque his Juf-
tice; they would clear their Families of all theſe Rakes
that infect the Air they breathe, and the Earth they walk
on: That by a ftrange Metamorphofe, turn the Dwel-
lings of Men into the Habitation of Devils; and the
Torments of the damned into the Diverfion of the Living:
For I can affure you, Gentlemens Houſes are too of-
ten a lively Picture of Hell; there you will fee all the
Lewdneſs of Hell, and here all the Language of that
curſed Region, with only this difference, that thoſe un-
happy Creatures below blafpheme God, of whom they
hope no Mercy, and thefe above lampoon him, of whom
they expect Pardon. Nay, here are Devils alfo; not in-
deed by Nature, but Practice, and almoſt every thing be-
fides Brimſtone and Deſpair. Would Gentlemen reform
this unbeſeeming Dialect, Servants would caft it off; but
when it is ſpoke in the Parlour, it's taken up in the
Kitchen, it walks into the Stables, and ſteals into all the
fervile Offices of the Houſe. For Servants wear their
Maſter's Vices, as well as their Livery, and copy-their
Actions, to purchaſe their Favour: In that, curfing, fwear-
ing, and indeed all Vice is degrading; but when it gets
into great Houſes, when Nobility abets it, and Quality
gives it Countenance and Entertainment, it changes Com-
plexion, and becomes modifh and creditable. And this
is the reaſon Imprecations and Qaths are fo far frequent
among us; for an innocent Over-fight, we fend a Servant.
to the Devil, and call down upon him all the Diſeaſes,
all the Plagues of this World, and the next. Oaths are
us'd by all Perfons, and to compleat the Impiety on all
Occafions, we court and quarrel in this Language: We
exprefs our Kindneſs and Averfion, our Joy and our Grief
in the fame Terms. Succefs is waited on by Oaths, as
well as Diſappointments; and they fet off Temper as
well as Paffion. Infine, they run through all our Dif-
courſe; they ſtand up in the room of Senſe; and one
would think we were furniſh'd with no other Rhetorick
or Reaſon. His Care wrought good Effects in the Fami-
ly, and his Example better; fwearing was an unknown
Language, as well as Ribaldry; and all thofe Vices which
hover about great Mens Palaces found no Entertainment,
no Admittance in his. When there arofe any Conteſt be-
tween his Domeſticks, he took Cognizance of it himſelf,
and
512
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
•
and compos'd all Differences with the Equity of a Judge,
and the Charity of a Father. No Body refus'd to ſtand
to his Arbitration, becauſe they were fure Partiality would
have no Hand in the Judgment; but that unbiafs'd either
by Averfion or Kindnefs, he examin'd the Caufe without
taking Notice of the Perfons. And indeed his Conduct
fpread fuch a Reputation abroad of his Equity and Wif-
dom, that his Neighbours put their Concerns in his Hands,
and rather appeal'd to his Arbitration, than to the Law,
that enriches indeed the Lawyer, but beggars the Plain-
tiff; who often gains the Suit, but lofes his Eftate.
This Piece of Charity rais'd an unexpected Enemy,'
who attack'd Eufebius with Might and Main. The Story
deferves a Relation. It will delight and inftruct, and fo
convey Profit through Pleaſure.
PHILARGYRUS's Character.
Philargyrus. (for fo I must chriften the Gentleman)
was born to a low Fortune, [Rafcal in Yorkſhire was the
Place of his Birth,] and the Denomination jump'd with
his Perfon. He only inherited the common Benefits of
Mankind; the Earth to walk on, the Air to breathe, and
all the Rivers of the World to drink: Being leanly pro-
vided by Nature, he refolv'd to fet up for himſelf; and
though he wanted Materials, he was not ill-furniſh'd of
Refolution: Hẹ had no mind to wander upon the Com-
mon: Poverty feem'd to him unfafhionable, Dependence
hung eafy, and he thought Courtefy an uncertain Re-
venue. He had receiv'd of Nature a lively Wit, and of
Education a weak Confcience; he improv'd that by
Study, and wore out this by Practice; fo that at laft he
turn'd it out of Service, or left it for a Pawn with a Bro-
ker: For Confcience and Lawyers are not to be recon.
ciled'; they can fcarce be brought to lodge under the
fame Roof, but never to lie in the fame Bed. Money
was his Paffion; and if he could ſecure the End, he ne-
ver bogled at the Means. He charg'd through all the
Niceties of Morality, and fcorn'd to ſtop at hard Names
invented by Schoolmen, and fear'd by Fools. Honour,
faid he, and Confcience are pretty Things enough; they
jingle upon the Ear, but not in the Pocket; they
are Orthodox in Speculation, but Heretical in Life
and
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
513
and Commerce. A Man that intends to thrive muſt not
fteer by foreign Opinion, nor ftartle at a Set of formal
Notions, that cramp Merit, pall the Spirits, and confine
Activity to a fmall Compafs: Thefe Principles took off
Reftraint, made room for vigorous Efforts, removed the
Difficulties of Bufinefs, and pointed out a fhort cut to Ex-
pedition and Succefs: For a Man that has difcharg'd
Confcience, laid open the Inclofures of Good and Evil,
thrown off the Incumbrances of Right and Wrong, and
melted down Juft and Unjuft into the fame Maſs; that
regards Generofity as Farce and Ceremony, Piety as
childiſh Softneſs, and Honefty as a Check to Induftry;
that haggles away his Credit for Six-pence, and his Soul
for a Shilling, has Line enough to fport his Net in, and
Elbow-room more than enough for Invention.
We must not therefore wonder a Man thus equipp'd
for Advancement meets with Succefs; for Fortune and
no Conſcience are generally on the fame Side; and tho'
fometimes fhe dotes on young Men, fhe often flings her
Favours upon Reprobates. He was by Conftitution one
Fourth of a Rafcal, i. e. Scrivener and Solicitor; and,
to be Cheat all over, he commenced Attorney. So that
this one Man poffeft all the ill Qualities of the Species,
without the Allay of a good one; he was Scrivener on
the one Side, Solicitor on the other, and Monſter in eve-
ry Limb.
He had glean'd up all the little Artifices of his Profef-
fion, and augmented the Number by a freſh Supply of his
own Invention; for he was fenfible Time and Ufe wear
out Intrigues, as well as Cloaths; and that the Gentlemen
of the Robe muſt recruit their Forces, no leſs than thoſe of
the Sword; that a Legerdemain once difcover'd, like a
maimed Soldier, is unfit for Service. In a Word, his In-
clinations were ungenerous, his Practice unwarrantable;
he lay below the Paffion of Love, and flew above that of
Compaffion; he broke through all the Barriers of Blood,
through all the Regards of Honour, and Principles of
Humanity. And indeed, what Virtue can take hold of
a Rake, when Intereft comes in Competition?
There are Lawyers of Fortune as well as Soldiers;
and as thefe will fight on any Side for Pay, thofe will
plead on any for a Fee, and often on both. Philargyrus was
of this Temper; he examin'd his Client's Purfe, before
L1
he
514
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
3
he enter'd into the Merits of the Caufe, and always pro-
nounced the Suit juft, if the Man was wealthy; but
where there was no Money, there was never any Title S
Gold and Right went Hand in Hand, and Wrong perpe-
tually waited upon Poverty. He play'd firft his Tricks
of Legerdemain in Town; he wheedled People into his
Snares, and decoy'd them into their Ruin. But Time laid
open the Impofture, and unmask'd his Artifice; fo that
at length, like frighted Birds, the Citizens grew wild,
they took Wing at his very Shadow, and he could never
come within Shot. And what wonder that Reafon fhould
teach Caution, as well as Inftinet; and ill Ufage clap
Men on their Guard, as well as Beaſt.
He changes therefore his Camp, and wheels off into
the Country to forage the Peafant, as he had gull'd the
Merchant; he is arm'd cap-a-pee with Codes and Pan-
dects, Statutes and Reports. But in a Tun of Law, there
was not one Grain of Juftice; he left this in Town, to-
gether with his Ears to fave Expences, to infinuate, that
People fhould not wonder if he was deaf to the Com-
plaints of Widows and Orphans, feeing he had loſt the
Faculty of Hearing.
He found the good People in a neighbourly Corre-
ſpondence employ'd in Tillage; they had no Leiſure to
think of Feuds, nor Mind to ftart Quarrels; they carried
on their own Bufinefs, without entering into the Concerns.
of others, and enjoy'd their own, without the troubleſome
Thoughts of Fear or Envy. No fooner was he fettled
among them, but the Scene changed. Theſe Boors began
to talk of Law and Encroachments; of Forfeitures and
Seizures; fo that the Diſeaſe that raged in Hudibras's
Days feized upon the Clowns of Middleſex and Surrey.
When civil Dungeon first grew high,
And Men fell out, they knew not why :
When bard Words, Jealousies, and Fears,
Sets Folks together by the Ears.
The Furies feemed to have left Hell to haunt the
World, and forfaken the Damned to plague the Living.
They tranſplanted the Gibberish of Westminster-Hallinto
the Country. Tom and Dick laid down the How goes the
Market, to talk of Statutes, Precedents, Reports, Writs
of Error, Reverse of Judgment, &c. One would have
thought
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 515
thought the Jargon of the Bar had out-lawed the Tongue
of the Country; and fome, that the French King fhip'd
for England his Norman Language, to open a Paffage for
his Arms. There was Action upon Action: The Son
fued the Father for an Allowance: The Wife ſet upon
the Huſband for a feparate Maintenance: One Mortga-
ged his Tenement to recover Damages; another pleaded
away 100 l. per Annum, to chop at five; and in the End
People bought Law, and Philargyrus fwept away all their
Money; fo that he out ran the very Lawyer in the Fable;
for this only fupped the Oyfter, but our Attorney pocket-
ed the very Shell into the Bargain: He flip'd into their
Livings, when he had privateer'd upon their Purſe. For
even thoſe who gain'd their Suit, loft their Capital, to quit
his Bill of Charges.
It's frange a Chriftian could intend fuch Miſchief, and
yet more, that one Pettifogger could act it. But the
Truth is, the Lawyer was too hard for the Chriftian; the
Profeffion got the better of Religion. Befides, tho' his
Forehead was double gilt with Brafs, his Tongue was
fteeped in Oil; he was Mafter of his Words, and, what
is more, of his Confcience; a Flatterer in Folio, and no
Man better ſkill'd in the Art of moving the Paffions; he
could tranſmute Phlegm into Choler; and then, by a turn
of the Tongue, harangue down the Hurrican into a Calm;
he had a hundred Precedents at a dead-lift, and could
throw over a bad Caufe, all the Varniſh of a good one:
In a Word, he was an errand Lawyer, (id eft) all Paint,
all Plaifter; Honeft without, and Knave within.
Your Caufe is good, faid he to William, give me my Fee,
and I'll defend it. Now the poor Fellow had no more
Right than to the Empire of China. At the Trial a Verdict
paffes againſt him. Where are we now, Mr. Attorney,
cries William? My Fee, anfwers Philargyrus, I'll move
the Court in arrest of Judgment. But Sentence is confirm'd,
and Will's Hopes fink with his Purfe. We are loft, fays
the poor Man. Not yet, anfwers Mr. Attorney, my Fee,
`and I'll bring a Writ of Error. But here again Judg-
ment is confirmed, and Will's condemn'd to Cofts and
Charges. What now, good Sir! fays William, with a
doleful Accent. There is no more to be faid, replies Ma-
fter Attorney, with a Shrug, pay the Knave bis Money,
and I am fatisfied.
£12
SB
516
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
So Lawyers, left the Bear Defendant,
And Plaintiff Dog should make an end on't;
Do flave and toil with Writs of Error,
Reverse of Judgments and Demurrer,
To let 'em breathe a while, and then
Houp, and fo fets 'em on again.
The Defendant went away with one Part of Will's
Livelihood, the Attorney with the other; fo that the Law
ftrip'd him to the Skin, and turn'd him on the Pariſh
without Support, and what is worfe, without Pity.
The poor Man complain'd he was beggar'd by the Law;
but he mifplac'd his Misfortune, and laid it at the wrong
Door. For as a Maſs of peccant Humours makes indeed
a Man fick, and the Phyfician kills him; fo Avarice and
Contention embroil an Eſtate, but the Lawyers ruin it;
and as no Man dies of a Fever, Plague, &c. but of the
Doctor; fo ro Man is deprived of his Living by the Law,
but the Lawyer.
However, Experience has an excellent Knack at in-
ftructing; it poliſhes the most unhew'd Underſtanding,
and inftills Wiſdom into Fools: It often, indeed, raifes
upon its Chapmen at Difcretion, and rates Prudence
above the common Standard of the Market. Notwith-
ſtanding the Ware keeps fome Proportion with the Price,
and its Goodneſs atones for the Dearness. The good
People were now fatisfied. Attornies give not their La-
bours Gratis; that they compofe Differences, as the Wolf
parted the Dogs in the Fable, by devouring the Conten-
ders, and they concluded, that Beggary from the Hands
of an Attorney was worfe complexioned, than from thoſe
of a Neighbour; that their Tongues were as infectious as
the Teeth of a Crocodile, Quod dentibus laceravit nun-
quam fanatur; with this only Difference, that this Ser-
pent bites to Death, and thoſe footh, fawn, and flatter in-
to Poverty and Indigency.
They refolv'd therefore to compofe their Differences,
rather a l'amiable, than at the Bar, and ftand to the Arbi-
tration of Eufebius, than to lay their Concerns at the Mer-
cy of Philargyrus; his Virtue gave in Security for his Up-
rightneſs, and his Abilities qualified him for the Poft of
an Umpire, fo that they were fure his Sentence would
not claſh with his Judgment, nor probably with Juftice.
He
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 517
He knew a Beatitude is the Reward of a Peace-maker,
and embraced the Trouble of this charitable Underta-
king, to purchaſe the Virtue. For why, fays he, ſhall
Charity be leſs couragious than Intereft? Or court Eate
more than Avarice? If Men put themfelves on the
Wheel for Money in Hand, and Hell in Reverſion; if
they rack their Brain, and torture Confcience, to fence
againſt Poverty, or to rear up a petty Fortune upon the
Ruins of Honour and Humanity, why fhall Chriſtians
upon an Apprehenfion of Trouble, decline a Duty that
is noble and generous, pleafing to God, and glorious in
the very Eftimate of Men?
His Houfe was always open to the Neighbourhood,
and he was always at Leifure to hear their Grievances,
and ready to redreſs them; his Abode was eaſy and in-
viting; his Behaviour without Stiffnefs, or Formality;
for he thought to be great was not to be ſtarch'd and fu-
percilious; as he acted without Intereft, fo he pronounc'd
without Favour; he regarded the Caufe without taking
any Notice of the Perfon: Noife could not biafs him,
nor Numbers fright him, nor Intereft draw him into any
Injuftice; he durft appear for injured Right, notwith-
ſtanding the Authority of the Oppofer, and he equally
fcorn'd to trample upon a Beggar, and to fneak to a
Prince; and all were fo prepoffefs'd with the Opinion of
his Integrity, that even thoſe who loft the Suit, rather
blamed their Title, than his Judgment.
In the mean time Philargyrus was without Buſineſs;
his Trade flagg'd, Cuſtoms fell off, and his Rents came
in but flowly; thofe Streams that fed his Pockets were
dammed up, or run in another Channel; fo that his
good Fortune was at a ftand: Lucre ebb'd, and Curfes
flowed in upon him; he raged at his Diſappointment,
and poured out a Tun of Gall upon Eufebius, the laſt
Retreat of Anger and Malice. For few People are un-
kilful at thofe Weapons; and he that cannot ſtab an
Enemy with his Tongue, is fallen fome Degrees below
the State of Impotence.
Refolutions alter'd with his Paffion, like Waves in a
Tempeft; one rouled upon the Back of another. Some-
times he was for preferring an Action against him, for
practiſing the Law without Licence; then for reprefent-
ing him to the Government as a difaffected Perfon, a
Facobite
L13
$18
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Jacobite in Faction, and a Fanatick in Religion. But
Eufebius laugh'd at his Threats, and pitied his Malice.
He pitch'd at laft upon a perfonal Conference, as the
moſt effectual, and lefs expenfive Way to come to Terms
of Accommodation. And for this Reafon he invited him
felf to Dinner. Eufebius was glad of the Occafion; he
had no leſs a Defire to difcourfe with Philargyrus, than
Philargyrus with him. The Lawyer had a Mind to draw
up his Grievances against the Gentleman, and the Gen-
tleman to catechize the Lawyer; fo that both Parties be-
ing eager to found the Charge, what wonder they clofed,
and foon came to a hot Engagement?
DIALOGUE III.
The Abuſes of fome Lawyers laid open; and Precepts gi
ven how to diſcharge their Duty like Chriſtians.
Eufebius perceiv'd at Table Philargyrus had a better
Stomach to complain, than to eat; to fall upon his
Hoft, than his Dinner: For when Paſſion rifes, Hunger
falls; and Appetite finks, when Gall overflows. However,
Eufebius thought the Lawyer's Sournefs was no Prece-
dent for Rudenefs; that one Man's Failures in Civilities.
could be no Juftification of another's; but after Dinner
he took him into the Garden, that he might throw up
the Oil that opprefs'd his Stomach, and almoft ftop'd Re-
fpiration. Philargyrus took hold of the Occafion, and
thus addrefs'd himfelf to Eufebius.
Philargyrus. I have often heard of your Piety and Wif
dom, but how can I reconcile your Conduct to either?
Be not difpleas'd if I defer more to my own Knowledge,
than to Fame; that cannot deceive, this is impofing:
It's but Intelligence at fecond-hand, liable to Error in
its Rife, and to Mifreprefentation in the Conveyance.
Pray, Sir, where is Prudence, when you embark in every
Man's Affair, and draw into your Forum all the Feuds
of the Hundred? You have adjourned the Courts of
Westminster-Hall into your private Family; and pro-
nounce more Sentences from an arm'd Chair, than my
Lord Chief Juftice from the Bench. A Man muſt have
a low Efteem of Eafe to refign it for Trouble, without
Neceffity
2
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 519
1
Neceflity, Profit, or even Invitation; and a mean Judg-
ment to proſtitute it to the Caprice of a mercurial and
reſtleſs Temper.
But befides, Sir, I ſuppoſe you veil your Indifcretion
under the Cover of Charity, and difguife an unquiet Hu-
mour with the Mafk of a Virtue. But you ſhould con-
fider your Charity ftands upon flippery Ground, and
may fink into Injustice before you are aware. For Right
and Wrong are meaſured by the Law; by this Tenure
we hold our Lands, and our Lives, and all Title muft
ftand or fall by the Conftitution of the Government.
Now the Knowledge of the Law comes not unto us by
Inſpiration, nor is acquir'd by the fole Dictates of Na-
ture. For the Rules of Juftice are ſo unlike in one Me-
ridian to thoſe in another, that one would think Mens
Species varied with the Climate, or the Elevation had a
tranfmuting Quality, and could throw Things out of one
Nature into another; that the civil Magiftrate minted.
Virtue and Vice, which, like Coin, pafs'd Current only
in his own Dominions. You must not therefore only
read the Magna Charta of Nature, but muft plod over
Reports and Statutes, Gloffes and Comments, thumb Codes
and Pandects, and wander through all the Labyrinths of
Custom and Precedent. This is a tedious Journey, and I
fancy you have not been either at the Charges or Trou-
ble of it. No, the Law is to you Terra incognita, an
unknown Region. You underftand the Language of the
Bar, no more than that of the great Cham. How there-
fore will you come at the Senfe, and fquare a Judgment
by the Rules of Juftice and Equity? I fear, good Sir,
you kill fome with Kindneſs, and pack others into Almf
Houſes, or quarter them upon the Pariſh out of Charity,
who notwithſtanding might have liv'd comfortably upon
their own Fund, without being a Burthen to themfelves,
or Incumbrance to their Neighbour. Whilft you wrong
others, by giving 'em right, when they have only a Title
to Poverty, and the Revenues of the Bafket. I am willing
to allow you to pronounce according to Confcience; but
alas, Confcience, without Law, is at beft but an innocent.
Miftake; and tho' it exempts from Puniſhment in the
next World, it expofes your Neighbour to Beggary in
this. So that, tho' perchance it may be no Crime, it's
a very real Injuftice. Why don't you fet up for a Doctor
L14
of
520
The GENTLEMAN Infructed.
of the Faculty, as well as for a Gentleman of the Inns of
Court, and poft your Recipe's about the Country, as well
as your Verdicts? It is lefs charitable to fet a dying Man.
upon his Legs, than an expiring Title? To cure a bro-
ken Arm, than a disjointed Eftate? You are fenfible,
I fuppofe, you are unqualified for the Employment; that
you may ſend Poifon for a Remedy, and Arfenick in
place of a Cordial. But pray, Sir, does not your Cha-
rity throw you into the fame Danger? You are as great
a Stranger to the Law, as to the Difpenfatory: And as
flenderly read in Cook upon Littleton, as in Galen or
Hippocrates. How therefore can you diftinguiſh between
Right and Wrong? The Law is the fole Standard of
both; and even this is not fo manifeſt as to flaſh Evi-
dence and Conviction. The Senſe ſticks not on the Sur-
face, nor perches upon the Top of the Letter; it muft
be often drawn out by Illation and Precedent; it's a
Myſtery nothing but Study and Practice can unriddle;
withdraw therefore from Bufinefs, and let Controverfies
run in their ordinary Channel: And remember Charity
is prepofterous when it perfuades a good Action, by do-
ing an ill one.
The Gentleman exprefs'd himſelf with Heat and Em-
phaſis, with more Paffion than Reafon, and fometimes
tranfgrefs'd the common Rules of Decency and Breeding;
but he pleaded his own Caufe, and fo we muſt fling in
fome Grains of Allowance; for the moft lazy Tongue,
when kick'd by Intereft, and fpurr'd on by Paflion, will
run Poſt, and ſtumble in the hurry over Modefty and Be-
haviour. Eufebius faw he run too faſt to continue the
Career; that when he had fhot all his Ammunition, he
might be attack'd at greater Advantages; and that proba-
bly when Paffion was talk'd down, Reafon might get the
Afcendant. He therefore heard his Harangue, without
Commotion or Interpofing; and when Philargyrus had
ended his Invective, Eufebius began his Juftification.
Eufebius. I perceive that the Temple and Grey's-Init
have declar'd me a publick Enemy to the Hoghen Moghen,
learned in the Law; a Traytor to the Prince, and aBe-
trayer of the Liberty and Property of the Subject. In
fine, guilty of all Crimes by Implications, though of pone
in Reality. You have drawn your Tongue in the Cauſe;
you appear the firft in the Field with your Quota, to
prevent
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 521
prevent the Invafion, and all the dire Confequences of
my Attempt upon the Bar and the Bench. But your Pre-
parations for War are no lefs unfeaſonable than expen-
five; for I am refolv'd to entertain a friendly Correfpon-
dence with your Corporation, and neither provoke nor
truft you. You are dangerous both Ways; your Friend-
fhip is as fatal as your Anger; and he who confides in
your Fidelity, receives more Wounds, than he who de-
ferves your Refentment. However, Sir, you do well to
keep the longa roba Militia in Diſcipline; to skirmishḥ in
Jeft, before you engage in Earneſt.
You would certainly be to blame did you rate my
Qualities by the Report of Fame, for fhe ſpeaks at Ran-
dom, and pronounces without Judginent or Sincerity :
She claps Vices upon good Men, and Virtues upon
Rafcals: She lampoons or praiſes at a venture, and adapts
Satyr or Panegyrick to the Exigence of Intereft, and the
Biafs of Faction, as you ftand off in Caution and Referve
for fear of a Surprize. I'll follow the fame Method,
for did I take the Size of your Morals and Religion by
the publick Cry, I fhould conclude you had a flender
Provifion of Conſcience, and none of Honour or Honeſty.
1. You queſtion my Prudence for intruding my felfinto
Bufinefs without Neceffity or Invitation, and I your Re-
ligion for the Cenfure. If Wiſdom perfuade me to Chri-
ftianity, why do I forfeit it by diſcharging the Duties
of my Profeffion? Now, you know, Chrift commands.
me, not only to extend my Love to Friends, which is at
moft a Pagan or Jewish Virtue, but to my Enemies; I
muſt return Good for Evil, and Favours for Affronts.
I muſt cloath the Naked, and drop my Alms into the
Hands of the Indigent. I must reconcile Enemies, and
bring Neighbours to a good Underſtanding; and Chrift
pays the Labour with a Beatitude, Bleffed are the Peace-
makers. Certainly, this Earneft of Heaven balances the
Labour; and who engages in Bufineſs upon fuch a Pro-
mife, gives not his Pains gratis. Intereft therefore and
Duty invite me to Bufineis, viz. the Precepts of Reli-
gion, and the Hope of Heaven, grounded upon the Pro-
mifes of our Redeemer; and theſe are my Commiffions
too; fo that my Conduct is neither illegal nor fooliſh:
For, I fuppofe, a Man who has Chrift's Command, is
armed with an unexceptionable Authority; and that the
broad
522 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
broad Seal of Heaven, is as authentick as that of the
Realm.
•
2. You are not fatisfied of my Capacity, becauſe I
am a Stranger to the Laws. Perchance, Sir, I am more
familiarly acquainted with them, than you fufpect. I
was always of Opinion, a Smack of the Law was no lefs
neceflary to manage an Eftate, than to acquire one; and
that a Man to avoid Circumvention, muft dive into all
the little Artifices of the Bar, and the Myſtery of Plead-
ing; for whoever looks down a Precipice, is within an
Ace of a Fall; and when the Snare lies out of Sight, it's
beyond the Power of forecaft to avoid it; for this Rea-
fon I have turned over the Law, and methinks it has
fomething of the Prophet Ezekiel's River, in which a
Lamb might walk, and an Elephant fink; a Man who
means well, may eafily fall upon the Senfe; and who in-
tends to play the Knave, may find a Cover for his For-
geries.
But after all, an ordinary Pittance of Law, with a
good Confcience, rids more Suits than the Science of
Cook with a bad one. Indeed, a Man beaten to the
Trade, may wrangle and harangue better than one that
is unexperienced in the Science of Chicane; he may talk
more plaufibly, and embroider his Difcourfe with Sta-
tutes and Precedents.
But generally this is only flouriſh Terms, and Weſt-
minster Cant; it raiſes a Duft, flings a Glitter on a bad
Cauſe, and a Gloom over a good one: It racks the Law
and Reaſon too: It raiſes Doubts, wiredraws Suits iz
infinitum, and makes Demonftration itſelf as two-hand-
led as the Pagan Oracles. Whereas, would Men as ftu-
diouſly employ their Time to diſcover Truth, as to over-
look it; to end Debates as to perpetuate them; Senten-
ces would be more quick, and perchance more juft; at
leaft the Subject would feldom plead away his whole
Eftate, to maintain a Part, nor find Juftice more expenfive
than Extortion, and more barbarous than Violence: Nor,
in fine, loſe the Subftance to chop at a Shadow.
I claim not the Prerogative of Infallibility, like my
Neighbours, I am liable to Miftakes, and fubject to
Error; the Features of Wrong have often ſuch a Refem-
blance with thoſe of Right, that there is no diftinguiſhing
the one from the other; and therefore I never pretend
!
my
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 523
my Judgment (like the Laws of the Medes and Perfians)
is irrevocable; thofe who are diflatisfied may appeal to
higher Powers, and ſhelter themfelves and their Concerns
under the Protection of the Law. But, Sir, they have
found by Experience, the Expedient is dangerous and
chargeable; that thofe who raife Suits, are not proper to
end them; and that few engage in the Law, without
Wounds in the Skirmifh, and thofe mortal too; nay,
and by a ſtrange Sympathy, they are entailed on the Fa-
mily; and defcend, like chronical Diftempers, to their
Pofterity.
Philargyrus. So; here is a Satyr upon the Profeflion,
and all that practiſe it are Cheats and Impoftors, at leaſt
by Conftruction; the Words will bear an Action; and
did I not refpect your Perfon, I might bring you upon
your Knees, and penance your Indiſcretion.
Eufebius. You miſunderſtand me, and throw a guilty
Comment upon an innocent Text. No Man has a greater
Value for the Profeffion than my felf; it's the very Bafis
of Government, the Support of Society and Commerce;
it's a Science that ſtops not at airy Notions, nor fleeps in
Speculation and Revery; it fets Hand to work, puts
Bounds to Right and Wrong, protects the Clown from
Slavery, and the Nobility from the violent Encroach-
ments of the Multitude. It's as neceflary for the Confer-
vation of Order, as Air for that of Life. Without it,
the greateſt Empires muft fall into a Heap of Confu-
fion, and the World become a Retreat to Thieves and
Affaffins. Power will determine Right, and Force juf-
tify Extortion and Violence; a long Sword will be Ti-
tle, and Force will put in Poffeffion.
As the Profeffion is commendable, fo thouſands of its
Profeffors have been not only above Praife, but even
above Calumny: Flattery could not fawn them into an
ill Action, nor Menaces fright them from a good one;
they were juft in fpite of Intereft, and upright in fpite
of Temptation; they bore up againſt the Provocations
of Greatneſs and Favour; they durft defend Juftice under
the Diſguiſe of a Beggar, and profecute Injuftice, though
protected by Title and Authority.
Who has not heard of the great Boetius? His Probity
out-ſhined his noble Extraction; his Juftice gave a Luftre
to the Scarlet, and his Prudence dignified the very Dig-
nity
524
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
nity he poffefs'd; he had the Privilege to revive all Lear-
ning, and at his Death to bury the whole Roman Gran-
deur in his own Tomb; more glorious in his Difgrace,
than in the very Meridian of his Fortune, and more hap-
py in his Mifery, than at the Top of his Profperity. This
brave Man was above Difcouragement and ill Uſage, and
not fo much as check'd into Indifferency by Injury, or
careffed; he declar'd for Truth againſt Majefty, and de-
claimed againſt Oppreffion in the Face of Tyranny.
Who can fufficiently praiſe the incomparable Sir Tho-
mas Moor, the Glory of our Nation, and the Phoenix of
his Age He was the moft able Lawyer of his Time,
and, what is more, the beſt Man: His Virtue out-ftretch'd
his Knowledge, and his Conftancy was too hard for
Cruelty; he mounted from the Bar to the Bench, and
carried on Virtue through all the Oppofition of Avarice;
the Charms of his Honefty were irrefiftible; they both
conquered Prejudice, and captivated Envy it felf; and
tho' he loſt his Life on a Scaffold, he went off with Fide-
lity. For what could King Harry condemn but Virtue?
Or who could he pronounce Guilty, but the Innocent?
A Difgrace from him was more honourable, than a Pa-
tent of Peerage, and to be ſtrip'd of a Dukedom, than to
receive one.
Tho' the Intereft of Virtue is almoſt funk in our dege..
nerate Age; tho' Confcience and Regularity have ſmall
footing among us; yet I could fingle out fome Gentle-
men of the Law, whofe Honefty vies with the most up-
right Examples of Antiquity, as well as their Science;
and if the Ancients have any Advantage, it's only that
they are Originals, and our Moderns Copyifts: Theſe
are Men that neither bend to Favour, now bow to Inte-
reft; that profecute Injuftice in Power, and abet Juftice
under all the Diſadvantages of Poverty and Confinement:
They mind not the Plaintiff, but the Cauſe; and rather
ftand for Right without Fee, than fide with Wrong for
the double.
Yet, I confefs, the irregular Conduct of fome, has
thrown a Scandal on the very Profeffion; and the Probity
of many fuffers in the Opinion of the World, for the
mean Artifices of a few; but what Wonder if fome Chil-
dren of wicked Cain, mingle their Blood, and their Prac-
tice, with the Race of Seth? A Lawyer and a Cheat are
now
...7,
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
525
now Terms almoft fynonymous; and Men that thrive
by the Law, are fuppofed to live without any. But it's
unjuſt to ftigmatize a whole Body, for the Failures of
fome Members; the Puniſhment and the Fault fhould
go together, and he alone ſhould bear the Reproach of a
bad Action, that had the Face and Pleaſure of commit-
ting it. Theſe are Men of low Fortunes, and profligate
Manners, unable to riſe by Merit; they turn off to Over-
reaching, and fupply the want of worth by Tricks and
Artifices. Such, we fay, rife by their Wits; but it's a
Miſtake, they live by the Proſtitution of Confcience, and
Sale of Probity; here, Sir, you have my Senfe of the
Matter; and if you pleafe to action me, take your
Courfe.
Phylargyrus. I perceive you will not have Men exert
their Parts, nor employ their Talents for Lucre and Gain.
No, they muſt ruft in a Corner, or be lock'd up in a
Cloſet; they muſt be laid out in the publick Service, or
ſpent in Charities; and if a Lawyer practifes not to a
Letter the Doctrine of Self-abnegation, if he cafts an Eye
on his own Intereft, as well as on his Neighbours; or
has the Forefight to lay in a Provifion for Age and Acci-
dent, he muſt be dubb'd a Cheat, and poſted up for a
Fourb and Impoftor. I confess I am not fo difengaged
from all temporal Concerns, as quite to over-look them.
I will oblige my Neighbour, but then I will not diſoblige
my Reafon; I will furniſh out Life to the beft Advan-
tage. A Man may live by the fweat of his Brains, as
well as by the Work of his Hands, and balance the Ex-
pence of his Studies, with the Fruits of his Practice. In
fine, Sir, I will mind my Client's Intereft, but intend not
to forget my own; he fhall have Law, but muſt return
Money for the Barter.
Eufebius. Nay, I conceive, a Lawyer that drudges
Gratis, will be overlaid with Cuftom, though ſcant of
Money; and if he ſets out with a low Fortune, he will
not fall upon a higher in his Journey; for, as the World
goes, Generofity and good Nature are no thriving Embel-
liſhments; and when one leaves the Payment of an Obli-
gation to the Difcretion of the Receiver, the Acknow-
ledgment feldom rifes in Proportion of the Favour. But
you mif-conceive my Meaning: I am not for throwing
all the Labour upon the Lawyer, and all the Profit upon
the
526
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
the Client. No, let him keep within the Bounds of Ho-
nefty, and I have no Exceptions against him; a Setter
of Meum and Tuum deferves à Salary, as well as a Setter
of Bones: But, as I would not have a Surgeon make
Wounds for the Gain of curing 'em; nor a Doctor poi-
fon a Patient to force upon him an Amulet; fo a Gentle-
man of the Bar ſhould not fet People together by the Ears,
to be paid for the parting them.
Philargyrus. That is, when two commence a Suit, we
muft compofe the difference a l'aimable, and rather run to
Arbitration than the Law. Indeed our Trade would go
on at a strange Rate were Umpires in Fafhion, Cargo
would not pay the Voyage.
Eufebius. Suppoſe fuch a Project were put in Executi-
on, where is the Harm? Tho' you might need lefs Law,
you would practife more Gofpel; and if the Lawyer loft,
the Chriftian would gain by the Expedient. Your Vails
might be flender, however they would be juft; and I
think a Crown with Innocence, is more valuable than a
Pound with a Crime; but befides, you would ſtill find
Fools enough to impofe upon, for the World is ftock'd
with Neck or Nothing; with Men that will make over by
Retail an Eftate of a thouſand Pound per Annum, to a
Lawyer, in Expectation of being pleaded into another of
two Hundred.
Philargyrus. You will have us keep within the Bounds
of Juftice, you caution us againſt Injuftice, explain the
Jargon; for I fear our Notions diſagree, and that my
Idea is more indulgent, and of greater Latitude than
yours. I believe, according to your Scheme, a Man
muft make the leaft of his Parts to be honeft, and play
the good-natur'd Fool to be a Saint in your Calendar:
But to be free with you, I intend to fell my Pains by Inch
of Candle. I'll not venture one fingle Pulfe but upon
good Security, and high Intereft; and if I can get Ten
in the Hundred, why fhall I refufe the Offer?, Injustice
is a Chimera when both Sides agree. Able Lawyers are
now as ſcarce as Corn was the laft Year: Why then
fhall they not tax their Labour at Difcretion, and raiſe
the Market as well as Farmers?
Eufebius. I fear indeed our Notions of Juftice are as
wide as our Practice; Lawyers are no ftraight-lac'd Caluifts
in their own Concerns; they fteer by the old Philofophi-
cal
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
527
cal Principle, Nothing is unjust that is profitable. But tho'
thefe Maxims have Practice for their Warrant, they have
neither Reafon nor the Gofpel; and without this Sup-
port, the moſt eſtabliſh'd Cuſtom is only Vice trium-
phant. Now, if you pleaſe, I will deliver my Judgment
upon the Matter.
I
It's certain Law-fuits are warrantable meerly by Ac-
cident: Two cannot have Right to the fame Thing; but
becauſe the Title is uncertain, the contending Parties may
appeal to the Law, and muft acquiefce to the Judgment
of the Court.
2.
Hence it's clear, when Right ftands evidently for one
fide, a Lawyer cannot plead for the other; if he does,
he ftands no lefs guilty of Injuftice, than if he help a Pad
to take a Purſe upon the Highway. Indeed his Crime
appears more genteel in the Eyes of Men, but in the Sight
of God it's ten Times more monftrous; for he abuſes a
Virtue to practiſe a Vice; and endeavours to ruin In-
nocence by the Law, that was enacted to protect it;
he turns the Sanctuary into a Butchery, and ftabs Juftice
at the Foot of her own Altar.
3.
When folid Reaſons fupport both Sides, Right lies in
the dark, and therefore you may plead for either, but
not for both; for which Party foever has Right, you are
fure to be in the Wrong: Two can have no Title, in
folidum, to the fame thing. Indeed, to take with both
Hands is a prefent Remedy againſt an empty Pocket, but
a Poifon to the Confcience: For double Fees opprefs the
Stomach; nor is there any Cure but a Vomit, that is,
Reftitution. Such Men are Nufances to Society; and
for my Part I am of the Satyr's Opinion in the Fable,
that it's dangerous to truſt one that blows hot and cold;
nor would I have any more to do with him, than with
an Italian Bravo, who will diſpatch my Enemy for a
Crown, and my felf for a couple. Thofe old Ifraelites
that halted between Bell and the true God, were nei-
ther flaunch Jews, nor thorough-pac'd Gentiles, but a
Compound of two Species united in one Monſter. What
are our Jack-of-both fide Gentlemen, but an Off spring
of the fame Race? They plead for Juftice on the one
fide
528 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
fide of the Mouth, and againſt it on the other; protect
it, and profecute it in the fame Moment, and fo cheat
both Clients and themſelves into the Bargain: Whofo-
ever buys either Wealth or Honour at the Price of a
Crime, over purchafes. Tell me not, There must be no
interfering between Bufinefs and Religion, that if the Pul-
pit will not agree with the Bar, we must thrive in the
World, and make the most of Labour. I am apt to be-
lieve thofe unchriftian Principles have made the very
Laws a greater Grievance, than thoſe that break them;
that they have heaved fome into fair Livings, and others
out of them; and that they permit not Confcience to grow
too hard for Intereft: But however, Sir, if the Bar be
at Variance with the Bible, whatever you gain in Hand,
will bear no Proportion with what you muft expect in
Reverfion. For I cannot think that he makes the moſt
of his Parts, who writes and pleads himſelf into ten
thouſand Pounds per Annum, for fome Years, and into
inconceivable Torments for an Eternity. But you muſt
thrive in the World! In God's Name, provided the
Means be handſome, neither unjuſt before God, nor ſcan-
dalous in the Sight of Men; but let me tell you, he who
refolves to rife is already within an Ace of being a Cheat;
it's ten to one he never formalizes upon the Means; when
Covetouſneſs has got the Reins, there is no holding it in
with Notions.
4.
You must not draw out Law-fuits in Sæcula Sæculorum,
nor ſtretch them in Lengths, till a poor Client lofes both
Patience and Money; this is to join Murder to Robbe-
ry; to take a Man's Purfe with one Hand, and his Life
with the other; it's a Medley of Cruelty and Injustice;
firſt put me upon the Rack, between Hope and Fear,
and then force me to pay the Executioner for my Tor-
ment. A Suit now runs for Life, and oftentimes defcends
down to the fourth Generation. So that the Law is a La-
byrinth; when once you are engaged, there is no Retreat;
if you are ftrait-handed, the Lawyer becomes refty, he
will not ftir, and, like an ignis fatuus, he leaves you in the
Mire; if you fee him high, and rain down upon him
plentiful Showers of Guineas, he ſpins out the Cauſe to
drein your Pocket; fo that he either does too much, or
too little, and perpetuates Difputes no lefs by being too
well
The GENTLEMAN Instructed.
529
well fee'd, than ill: Every one complains of the Grie
vance; however, it goes on, and like to continue til!
our Benchers have either quietus eft, and More's Utopiań
Gentlemen are call'd to the Bar, and the Bench, in their
Leather-Breeches.
5.
There must be no crofs-biting Evidences, nor frighting;
no laughing, no queftioning them out of Truth and their
Senfes; to baffle a true Evidence is no lefs unjuft, than
to countenance Perjury. This is reported to have been
faid at the Bar, but by no means on the Bench. Well,
good Man Leather-Breeches (faid once a grave Judge from
the Bench) what have you for Swearing? He fuppofed a
Peal of Laughter might difmount the Clown, ruffle hist
Memory, and make him trip in his Difpofition; but he
miftook his Man, and met with his Match; the Fellow
was too ſturdy to be fcared by Furs or Scarlet; or to
linch for a Sarcafm. My Lord, had you no more for Lying,
replied he, than I for Swearing, you might have wore
Leather-Breeches ftill. Now a Man, who upon fo folemn
an Occafion dares affront a legal Witnefs, will certainly
at a dead-lift fuborn a falfe one; and though his Defign
mifcarried, his Malice was at full Swarth. I know we
are pleaſed to call this unhandfome dealing with, but
Names make; no Alteration in Things. The Scripture
terms it cheating, and we muſt rather appeal to its Ver-
dict, than to Custom; or Calapine. Quevedo tells us,
that at the Sound of the Trumpet to Judgment, an At-
torney would have demurr'd, upon pretence he had got a
Soul was none of his own, and that his Body and Soul
were not Fellows. I believe fome Lawyers will have more
Confcience in the next World, than they have in this;
and, at the Day of Account with, that they had made
over their Souls to their Legatees, as well as their Eſtates;
but they'll not dare to pretend their Souls and Bodies are
not Fellows; for, alas, they have gone halves in the
Crime, as well as the Pleafure and Profit; and, by con
fequence, muſt ſhare in the Puniſhment.
A Man that will thrive, eafily flides into an Injufticë ;
but then it's almoſt as hard to recover, as to return from
Hell: For Injuftice feems to be one of thofe Crimes that
are neither forgiven in this World, nor in the next. In-
deed a Man may repent, but the Conditions are ſo hard,
M m
530
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
fo mortifying, that not one of a thouſand will ſign them.
For, in fine, an Injuftice is not pardon'd without a full
Reftitution, and Reparation of Damages; and thefe run
often as high as the Lawyer's Gains; notwithstanding,
tho' you have raked together ten thoufand Pounds per
Annum, by defending unjuſt Suits, and ftretching out juſt
ones; by baffling true Evidences, or bribing Knights of
the Poft, you must difgorge and fall into your own firft
Poverty, as naked of Support as when you firſt ſet out.
Now, is it not against the Grain to expofe your Reputa-
tion to Cenfure and Obloquy, to fhrink in your Figure,
and to fink into nothing? However, thefe bitter Pills
muſt down, unleſs you can refolve to welter in Fire and
Brimstone eternally. It's hard, I confefs, to fling up a
fair Eſtate; yet better, than to fling up all Title to Hea-
ven, and to entail upon you God's Curfe in this World,
and his Vengeance in the other.
No Man in his Wits would purchaſe an Eftate for his
Child at the Expence of his. Life; why then will he at
the Price of his Soul? Is this fo contemptible, and that
of fo fuperlative a Value? One muft have a faint Idea
of future Punifhments and Rewards, thus to miſplace his
Judgment and Efteem; he muft fuppofe his Soul vanishes
into nothing, when his Body falls into Duft; that the
River of Phlegethon is as real and tormenting as the Lake
of Brimftone, and that the Pains of the Devils and dam-
ned, as romantick as thofe of Tytius and Syfiphus: In
fine, at moft, that Heaven is no more pleafing than Spring-
Garden, nor Hell no more tormenting than Newgate or
the Compter.
Now the beſt Method to avoid this Difficulty is to
avoid the Sin; it's ten times more eaſy to abftain from
Rapine, than to repent of it. It's not hard to keep within
the Bounds of Juftice, if Avarice get not the Afcendant;
but if this Vice runs away with our Heart, we ſtop at
nothing. Strong Defires are ftrong Temptations to uſe
ill Means; in the hurry of Paffion, Confcience is feldom
heard; he that is bent upon a thing will have it right or
wrong.
Nor will this Refervedneſs baulk your Fortune: A
Lawyer that has the Reputation of an honeft Man, will
always find Employment. For who will not rather put
his Concerns in the Hands of one who makes a Confci-
1
ence
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 531
ence of over-reaching a Client, than lay himſelf at the
Mercy of a Knave? Honefty is efteem'd by all, tho' few
go to the Price of the Purchaſe, and even thoſe who
practice it the leaſt, are moſt eager Pretenders to it. In-
deed your Fortune will not rife ſo faſt, but then the Edi-
fice will be more firm and lafting: Thofe Buildings that
rife on a fudden, fall in a Moment; like precipitated
Births, they are never long-lived, and generally bury the
Builder under the Ruins. Gain never reliſhes better than
when it's juft, and Advantage is almoft doubled by being
lawful. Pray, Sir, be not difpleafed at my Freedom;
fuch plain Dealing is neceffary to recover Juftice, and
difarm its Enemy. I expofe the Practice to reform the
Man. I may perchance draw upon me the Anger of
fome guilty Benchers, and expofe my Perfon to Calum-
ny and Diſcountenance; but I fhall only pity their Blind-
neſs, and deſpiſe their Malice; for fear not to crofs upon
a Vice tho' never fo prevailing, nor to oppofe a Grievance
tho' back'd by Number, and fupported by Preſcription.
I will pleaſe no Man to his Difadvantage, nor fix him in
an Error by a Complement, nor carefs him out of his
Duty and Happineſs.
Philargyrus stood upon Thorns, and heard the Dif
courſe with a thouſand Grimaces; he was Proof to home-
ly and good Counfel, by a Kind of Antiperiftafis, har-
dened in Ill; you might as well have preach'd an Æthio-
pian into a White, as this Attorney into an honeft Chri-
ftian. Il Habits hung not looſe upon him, but twiſted
themſelves with his Nature; they funk into his very Soul,
and debauch'd him in Practice and Principle too.
Look ye, Sir, faid he to Eufebius, you have regaled
me with Cant, with Flouriſhes, and a glut of Caſuiſtry;
but I will not be beaten out of my Road by hard Words,
Univerſity-Jargon, and ftrain'd Speculations. I live by
the Law, not by Cafuiftry; and that ſtands upon Prece-
dent, not Reafon: How many brave Gentlemen have
beat great Eftates out of the Law, by the Force of Me-
rit and Induſtry, and plead Coronets on their Coaches,
and themſelves into the Houfe of Peers! They work don
the fame Materials I do; fteered by the fame Compals,
and were governed by the fame Principle: Yet, where
are theſe Reſtitutions! Believe me, Sir, your Doctrine
is not calculated for our Elevation or Age. Prefcription
Mm £
kuns
532
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
runs againſt fuch out-dated Practices, and that is Law
A Man that will part with an Eſtate, deferves none; and
he that returns a Lordship out of Tenderneſs of Conſci-
ence, refigns his Wits in the Bargain. Pray let us not
interfere; keep your Eftate, and fuffer me to glean up a
handfome Livelihood. Confcience will not interpofe be-
tween me and Profit; Wealth brings Eafe, and Poverty
hangs a Man upon the Tenters.
When Philargyrus was gone, Eufebius returned to him-
felf; the parting Complement of the Lawyer had almoſt
fcared him into a Trance: He was at a ſtand to deter-
mine whether he was above ground or under, in Hell
among the Damned, or in England among the Living.
Such Stroaks of Libertinifm fat on every Tittle of his
Difcourfe; fuch Sallies of Atheiſm, that one would have
thought the Man had trick'd himſelf not only out of Re-
ligion, but out of human Nature; there was no Start of
Paffion, no fudden Surprize to difcompofe him, he ſpoke
under cool Blood, under Thought and Reflection; all
thefe Circumſtances enflame the Guilt, and fwell the
Reckoning: This Farewel damp'd Eufebius, and brought
into his Mind thoſe uncomfortable Words of our Bleſſed
Saviour, Many are called, but few are chofen. To what
Height of Madneſs, faid Eufebius, does Avarice pufh
Men, when once it has got the Maſtery of Conſcience?
To pawn ones Soul for a Fee, and Heaven for a double
one: Is it not Frenzy to Excefs; and Lunacy beyond Ex-
preffion? All the Mad-houfes in the Nation are unable
to furniſh ſuch Inftances of Folly; fuch Strains of Di-
ftraction and Stupidity. Did Men believe no future
State, I conceive they might make the moſt of this; they
might forage upon their Neighbour's Land, and cruize
upon their Purſes, and ftore their Magazines with Plunder
and Rapine. But to believe the Doctrine of Chriſt, and
to act by that of Hobbs; to own a Hell, and ſweat to
feel it, is extraordinary and furprifing. Let my Soul be
rather with the old Philofophers, than with thofe of our
modern Lawyers; perchance they might have had lefs
Faith, but I am fure they had more Honefty; and if their
Religion was worfe, their Practice was better.
DIA-
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 533
DIALOGUE IV.
How Eufebius behaved himself towards his Neighbours.
TH
HO' Eufebius lived in Retreat, he had not forfworn
Company, nor difbanded from Society. Piety is nei-
ther fullen nor folitary; it cares not indeed to be crowded
with Vifitors, nor always to be tied up to Ceremonies, to
be peftered with Flies, nor tormented with Flatterers;
yet it's never behind-hand in paying thofe Duties Civility
requires, and Decency calls for: He liv'd in a neigh-
bourly Correfpondence with all the Gentry, and received
and returned both Vifits and Invitations: His Temper
was too ferious to be affected by the younger Fry, that
place Mirth in Noife, and Diverfion in Extravagances;
that meaſure a Welcome, not by the Bottle, but the Gal-
lon; and fuppofe they are not treated like Men, unleſs
they are drunk down to the Beat; but if thoſe Sparks
had ſmall Inclination to his Company, he had lefs to
theirs, and rather kept his Time and Liberty to himſelf,
than fling them away upon fuch infignificant Trifles; he
neither could mend their Morals, nor endure their Follies;
however, he diftinguiſhed their Quality from their Vices;
and tho' upon Occafion he lafh'd thefe, he always treated
their Perfons with Regard. Nay, he fo timed his Repre-
henfions, that they rather feemed to fall in by Hazard,
than defigning; and tho' he ſpoke in Jeft, he inftructed
in Earneſt. In fine, he rather glanced at their Faults by
fhort Innuendo's, than attack'd them in Form, and en-
deavour'd to raiſe a Bluſh, not their Anger; for he knew
that Choler cramps Reafon, and when this flies off the
Hinges, a Man is no more fit to receive good Counſel
than a Tempeft.
•
For this Reafon he uſed to fay, Prodigals muft rather
be reclaimed by Surprize than Force, by Kindneſs than
Reproach: They will follow, but not drive; they en-
dure a Remedy if applied with a gentle Hand, but then-
they wince if you gall them; like that of Children, their
Phyfick muſt be palatable; the Pills will not down un-
lefs they are gilt; he therefore difapproved thofe hot-
headed Zealots, who give Vice no tolerable Quarter;
Mm 3
they
534
?
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
they treat it with the fame Freedom in Scarlet, as in Ling
fey-woolſey, and catechiſe a Lord with no more Cere
mony than a Peafant: But they take falfe Meaſures ;
great Men muſt be complemented into their Duty, as
well as out of it. Civility works more kindly upon 'em
than Rudeneſs.
Though the young Sparks kept aloof from Eufebius,
the more fober coveted his Acquaintance; he was grave,
yet he had nothing ſtarch'd, nothing ftiff; his Converfa-
tion was eafy, and he always modelled his Difcourfe to
the Time and Company; he hated thofe old Fops who
prefs for Submiffion upon the Younger, with a ſtately
Mean and reſerved Air; and fuppofe Age and Grey-hairs
give them a juft Title to Reſpect. This is, faid he, to
tax Converfation, and to put the Company under Con-
tribution for Defence and Regard; it renders the Preten-
der cheap, and Society a Nufance. In fine, he never
declined any juft Condefcenfion, and would rather ſtretch
Complaifance a Point, than fcrew up his Gravity to Re-
fervedneſs or Importunity.
He was a declared Enemy to Prodigality and Nearnefs,
he proportion'd his Expences, as I have faid, to his In-
come; he never fpared Money when Occafions required
it; nor flung it away mal à propo, to pleafe a Frolick;
he thought both Extreams equally vicious, that a fordid
Parfimony was ungenteel, and Profufenefs fooliſh. When
he treated his Friends, he affected Neatnefs rather than
Grandeur, and rather fought to gratify the Tafte with
Delicacies, than the Eye with Variety; for Feafts are to
entertain the Palate, not Curiofity. In drinking he fol-
lowed Affuerus's Orders, Vinum quoque ut magnificentią
Regia dignum erat, abundans & præcipuum ponebatur,
nec erat qui nolentes cogeret ad bibendum : fed ficut Rex
Statuerat præponens menfis fingulos de Principibus fuis, ut
fumeret unufquifque quod vellet; he thought it no lefs un-
civil to prefs his Guefts to drink, than to ftint them, and
could not endure an English Principle, that Cuftom has
naturalized, and Intemperance has made free Denizon of
the Country. A Man thinks himſelf welcome by halves,
that is not quite drowned in a Barrel, and ill uſed till his
Body be turned into a Hogfhead, and his Head into a
Wind-mill.
This
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 535
This Conduct, fo contrary to the eſtabliſh'd Laws of
English Hofpitality, difpleafed fome; and a Gentleman
took once the Freedom to inform him, that he lay under
a diſadvantageous Character for his Frugality. Sir, faid
he, I doubt not of your Generofity, but People unac-
quainted with your Temper impeach you with Avarice;
a fingle Bottle will not waſh off the Afperfion; you muſt
marſhal 'em upon the Table by Dozens: We love to look
our Enemies in the Face, and muſt be carried from the
Table, as well as from the Breach; for we drink as well
as fight, like Men, and all your French Ragoufts are
unpalatable, unleſs high-feafon'd with Burgundy and
Claret. When the Ladies retire, adjourn to a Bye-room,
and be ſure to march at the Head of the Brigade, and
lead it upon the Attack: Let your Provifions anfwer the
Number of the Affailants; an Englishman çan cope-
with as many Bottles of French Wine, as Frenchmen;
and you know one to fix is an Over-match: Thus, Sir,
you'll retrieve your Honour, and recover your Reputati-
on from the Imputation of Stinginefs, and ungenteel Slur
of Parfimony.
1
This Gentleman had a real Eſteem for Eufebius, but
none for his Practice; he bore an Office, and poffefs'd a
fair Eftate in the Country. He was a good Companion
at the Pot, and an Adorer of the Pipe: He laugh'd at
thoſe who placed Glory in Wounds and broken Legs,
and run their Heads againſt Baftions and Half-moons for
a Place in the London Gazette, or the Poft- Boy; he would
not venture one fingle Pulfe for the taking Lifle or Tour-
nay, nor fling his Money upon Doctors and Surgeons,
much lefs be carried, like a Calf, from the Attack to
his Tent, or his Grave: No, faid he, I came not into
the World to be cannonaded, or bagonetted out of it;
I will nurfe up Life to the Extent of Nature, and leave
it in my Bed, not in a Ditch.
However, tho' the Deputy-Lieutenant had no Inclina-
tion for Camp-glory, he was ambitious of Fame; but
then he refolved to fetch it rather from the Cellar, than
the Field; and indeed, he was a kind of Flagman, a
Vice-Admiral, in all thofe Expeditions of Good-fellowſhip;
M m 4
fo
536
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed
fo beaten to the Trade, that no Body durft contend for
the Command. So that, though by Commiffion he was
only Deputy-Lieutenant, his topping Embelliſhments en-
titled him to the Lieutenancy of the Country. I have
feen Right Worſhipful knock down half a Dozen under
the Table in a trice, and then he will clap and crow
like a Game-cock. Nay, he fwore he deferv'd a publick
Complement for the Exploit, as well as our great Duke
for his Blangy; becauſe he flew more with his own Hand,
and loft fewer than this mighty General; nay, and kept
the Field into the Bargain. A Friend defired him not
to proſtitute his Quality and Commiffion to Scorn and
Obloquy, by fo mean, fo unmanly a Vice; but he an-
fwer'd, thofe lie under a great Miftake, that mark'd it
with Unmannerlinefs. We drink like Beafts, faid he,
when we drink leaft, but like Men when we drink till
we can neither go nor ftand.
Eufebius was ftruck at his quaint Harangue, and more
at his Principles: He thought Caution it felf might fome-
times be overfeen, and Sobriety trepanned by Company
into Intemperance; but to gage Breeding by the Barrel,
to turn Drinking into an Employment, and the Infamy of
Drunkenneſs into a Perfection of human Nature was ex-
traordinary; he thank'd the Gentleman for his Advice,
but defired leave to follow his own Method, till he had
offered fome better Reafon to change it.
For, Sir, faid he, you perfuade me to reſcue my
Honour from the Imputation of a pretended Vice, by
committing a real one. You provoke me by the Motives
of Glory, to Actions that degrade a good Man, and force
an ill one even to blufh. You mifapply the Notions of
Honour and Infamy; you blame and praife in the wrong
Place; and thus you pronounce Monftrouſneſs to be Pro-
portion, and the Blemishes of Mankind to make up its
Beauties. I lie, you ſay, under the Afperfion of Ava-
rice; and nothing will remove the Calumny, unleſs I
drown my Guefts in Claret and Canary. I confefs, the
Remedy feems ten times worfe than the Difeafe; I would
rather be pointed at for a Mifer, than be condemned
for a Drunkard; that Vice indeed is uncreditable, but
this is brutal; that makes an ill Man, but this throws
1. }
him
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 537
him out of his Species, and turns him into a Beaſt; nay,
lays him below the vileft; for he is a Beaft of Man's
Creation, and by confequence more monftrous than the
loweft Part of God's, or rather he is a reaſonable Beaſt,
and irrational Man.
What a noble Spectacle muft it be to ſee a Club of
Gentlemen of Figure and Quality metamorphofed into
Bethlems, and their Palaces into Mad-houſes; to fee 'em
play the Ape and the Swine, and run out into Lengths of
Folly and Extravagance? No doubt, it's an honourable
Employment for a Mafter to play the Mimick and Scara-
mouch before his Men, to entertain them with Farce
Gratis, and to fling a merry Interlude into their Salary;
to out-do the Roman Bacchanals in Diftractions, and to
ftrain Jollitry, not into annual, (for once a Year a wife
Man may have leave to be mad) but into a daily
Madneſs.
Good God! What a Scene did I once behold at Sir
B-F-'s! It gave me fuch a Surfeit of Wine, that
for a Twelve-month the very fight of a Bottle caft me
into a Sweat and Agony. I began almoft to believe
that Pythagoras's Tranfmigration was rather a Truth,
than Allegory or Fable; for in the Space of an Hour
a dozen Gentlemen commenced Beafts, and all of dif
ferent Species; there were Apes, Bears, Lyons, and Jack-
calls: Some roar'd, others yelp'd, and others howl'd. In
one Corner there was making Quarrels, in another
Love; here they fung, there they blafphemed; they
kifs'd in one Place, and box'd in another: In fine, there
was a Medley of Farce and Tragedy, of Folly and Mad-
nefs, a Subject for Laughter and Tears; but when they
began to return Home, they play'd all at crofs Queſtions,
the Poftilion crept behind the Coach, the Coach-man in-
to it, and the Mafter into the Box: For Wine is a Level-
ler, it either raifes the Man to the Mafter, or throws
down the Mafter to the Man. When Reafon fleeps,
Extravagance breaks loofe; Quality and Peafantry pig
together; there is no difference between a Lord and a
Lacquey, but that he is more to blame; in a Word, they
were in no Condition for a Journey; fo that the Gentle-
men were conveyed into Beds, and the Equipage camp'd
in the Court.
Well,
1
538
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Well, Sir! reply'd the Deputy-Lieutenant, Over-
fights will happen, but Good-fellowſhip muft go on, and
a neighbourly Correfpondence be improved.
As much Good-fellowſhip, faid Eufebius, and Kind-
neſs as you pleaſe, provided you fluſh right Notions, and
frame an Idea of both by the Rule of Reafon, not of Cu-
ſtom; but I cannot perfuade my ſelf, the Laws of Good-
fellowſhip command me to drink away my Health and
my Wits for a Frolick: Health is no Nufance, nor Rea-
fon a Burthen. If you had a fancy to a Cup of Poiſon,
does the Ceremony of Good-fellowſhip order me to
pledge you in the fame Liquor? Now over-drinking
turns the beſt Ale in the Nation, and the beſt Wines in
France into Poifon. Indeed, they diſpatch not by fudden.
Affault, as Ratsbane or Arfenick, but by Mine and
Siege; however, their Operation is fure, and though their
Malignity be flow, it's mortal.
Nor can I think any Principle of Friendſhip obliges me
to help a Man to deftroy his Eſtate, to fink his Family
into Beggary, his Perfon into Contempt, and his Body
into Difeafes: Now your Kindnefs wades further into
Miſchief; I muft dofe his Reafon, and ftab his Soul,
nay, and my own too. No Man certainly dares own
this for Kindnefs, who is not actually drunk. Befides,
you may as well entertain Heat with Cold, as Friendſhip
with Drinking. Alas, good Sir, when Wine flies into.
the Head, Glaffes fly about the Ears; for when once
Reaſon is drowned, Paffion always fwims on the Surface;
moft of thoſe Quarrels that end in Blood, begin in Wine;
Jollitry drunk too high, degenerates into Fury.
But, befides, Drunkenneſs is a Sin, and of a very black.
Dye; it's one of thofe that fhuts Heaven's Gate, and
opens that of Hell to the Offender. Now, tho' it were
as genteel as it's clownish, that very Confideration fhould
fright thoſe from the Practice, that bound not their Hope
or Fear with Sight and Senfe; Kindneſs and Good-fellow-
ſhip muſt not take Place of our eternal Welfare, nor Ce-
remony of our Duty. If therefore Drunkenneſs be a
Sin, is it none to invite, none to perfuade a Neighbour
to it? Muft a Gentleman be mark'd with Infamy, be-
cauſe he will not turn off Confcience; nor purchaſe the
Reputation of Houſe-keeping, at the Expence of his Soul?
I am not fo fond of Efteem as to buy it by a baſe Action;
nor
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 539
nor fo fearful of Contempt as to avoid it by a Sin. I
will not transform my felf into a Brute for the Reputati-
on of a fine Man, nor ftoop to the Office of a Tempter,
for the Title of Generofity. No, no, Sir, in my Houfe
Gueſts fhall never be ftinted, nor forc'd. I leave them
to their own Diſcretion, and invite them to be merry,
but not to be mad. I love a cool Head, and a calm Con-
ſcience; and I had rather fee Flights of Diſtraction in
Bethlem, than of Extravagance at Home. To conclude,
I had rather be reproach'd for Sobriety, than carefs'd for
Intemperance; and lampoon'd for a Virtue, than Pane-
gyrick'd for a Vice.
Well, well, Sir, replied the Knight, we will not fall
out for the Matter: Let every Man take his Way, but,
give me leave to tell you, Confcience and all your Fiddle-
faddles will not fcreen you from Cenfure. When we go
to a Merry-meeting, we leave that Lumber at Home; but
when we are ſummoned to a Quarter-Seffions, or fo, then
indeed we take it up behind us, if the Horfe will carry
double, for though it may be of Ufe in a Bufinefs of
Meum and Tuum, it's a Burthen at a Feaft, a Controller
of Mirth, and a Poifon to Good-fellowſhip.
Eufebius blefs'd himſelf at the grave Gentleman's
Preachment; to hear Magiftrates plead for Riot, and Ju-
ftices of Peace for Diſorder, feemed furprizing; but the E-
vil lies deep, there is no removing it; it's become a Branch
of English Property, and we will no more part with the
Vice of Drinking, than with our Magna Charta. We
have received it from our Fore-fathers, and improv'd the
Talent to Admiration; one Man infects another, and
the prefent Set of Tiplers will hand down the Difeafe to
their Pofterity; and thus the Diftemper will run on with-
out Cure, and continue without End.
Aufebius
DIALOGUE V.
Of his Recreations.
Jebius was not fo engaged in Piety, as wholly to lay
afide all Recreation; he knew that fome Divertiſe-
ment was neceffary to refreſh the Body, and unbend the
Mind; that a continual Application difpirits the one,
founders
•
540
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
founders the other, and renders both unfit for Action?
but then he took care not to turn Diverfion into Bufinefs,
nor to play away his Time, like Children, in Trifles.
Age had taken off the Paffion he had for the Sport of
Hunting; his Body could not endure the Violence, and
his Inclination carried him to more moderate Exerciſes;
he was often upon the Bowling-green in Summer, and to
entertain Converſation would take a Game at Cards;
but then he play'd for Diverfion, not Gain; and would
never venture more upon a Caft, than he could lofe with-
out the Danger of Impatience; for when Bets run high,
Solicitude baulks Pleaſure, and the Fear of lofing turns
Sport into Pain and Penance; it boils up the Paffions in-
to a Ferment, heats the Blood, and then an unlucky Hit
flings a Man upon the Tenters.
Whatever he won was a Bank for the Poor; a kind of
Pecunia Sacra, always employed in Charity; fo that he
fell upon a Secret (more beneficial than the pretended
Philofopher's Stone, and more real) of turning Diverfion
into Virtue, and of raifing the moſt ordinary and loweſt
Actions to the Dignity of the moſt Divine. Thus at once
he refreſh'd his Body, and improv'd his Time; or (in
the Apoftle's Language) pray'd and play'd, recruited his
Spirits, and fupplied his Neighbour; pafs'd his Time in
Mirth, and yet redeemed it,
However, he uſed even the most harmleſs Recreati-
ons, as I faid, like Phyfick for Health, not like Meat.
for Suftenance, for, faid he, they are not the Bufinefs,
either of a Gentleman or of a Chriftian; and therefore
whofoever fuffers them to ufurp his Time (allow'd for
more noble Employments) plays the Child, tho' not the
Innocent, while he thus trifles away his Life, and Bowls
and Cards away thofe precious Moments, that once he
will recal with Tears, but never recover. He therefore
retired fo foon as Civility permitted, and entertained
himſelf with reading; but he never would open a Book
that ftruck at Morality, or queftioned Religion; the one
debauches Practice, the other Principle; and he uſed
to fay, bad Books are the worfe for being well writ;
they fubdue almoft without Refiftance, when they min-
gle Corruption with Wit, and convey Poifon into Plea-
fure; but he spent whole Hours in the Lecture of thofe
that treat of Piety, that lighten the Understanding, and
? !
warm
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 541
Warm the Will; that point out the Way to Virtue, and
with a Refolution to purchaſe it. Such he look'd upon
as fure Guides, and profitable Entertainments; as fup-
ports in Solicitude, and Friends in all the different Oc-
currences of Life and Action; they cenfure without Re-
proach, and praiſe without Flattery; they neither fawn
on Gentlemen, nor over-look Peaſants, but, like Pictures
made to Sight, look equally upon all; nor was he con-
tent with the bare Speculation; he knew the Virtue of a
Chriſtian confifts not in the Knowledge of his Duty, but
in the Exerciſe of it, and therefore he drew by the Life;
he copied from thofe Originals, and joined Practice to
Theory, and thus he weaned himſelf from all thofe
worldly things Men fo eagerly purſue as Flies; he nei-
ther hoped for any temporal Advantage, nor feared any
Adverfity; his Defires look'd beyond Time, and nothing
but the Pains of the Damned were able to awake his
Fear; fo that he embraced Croffes and Favours with the
fame Affections, and always ſaid, theſe led us indeed the
eaſieſt Way to Heaven, and thoſe the moſt fecure; and
thus he was neither fond of Life, nor dreaded Death,
but equally diſpoſed to keep his Poft, or to abandon it
at the firft Command of his great Maſter.
And indeed, he had fuch an Empire over his Pafions,
fuch a Submiffion to all the Defigns of Providence, that
he feemed, if not above the Reach, at leaſt above the
Senfe of Adverfity, even when he lay under the Weight
of a Misfortune. His Niece whom he loved with the
Tenderneſs of a Father, fell fick of a burning Fever: She
deferved indeed his Affection; for fhe was fet off with all
the Perfections of a Woman, and enrich'd with all the
Virtues of a Chriftian. One might truly fay, with the
wife Man, fhe lived a great while, tho' fhe died at Seven-
teen, and that ſhe was ripe for Heaven in the very Spring
of her Age: She pafs'd thro' a long Courfe of Pains,
with an invincible Patience, and expected Death rather
with the Courage of a Hero, than the Timorouſneſs of a
Woman.
Every one thought this Accident would put Eufebius's
Philofophy to the Stretch; that a Blow in ſo fenfible a
Part, would ftrike out fome Symptoms of Weakneſs;
but they mistook the Man; he felt the Lofs, but funk not
under it: He let fall indeed a Tear at parting, but wiped
it
•
542
The GENTLEMA N Inftructed.
it off in a Moment, and he told his Friends, who wonder'd
at his Unconcerned nefs, to be forry fhe is not with
me, when I believe fhe is better from me, is a mark I va-
lue my Satisfaction above hers, and mourn for the Li-
ving more than for the Dead; it's Infirmity, not true
Kindneſs, when we will not refign to our felves the
Happiness of a Friend.
I believe fhe is in a State of Blifs, why then fhould I
weep for her, whom I fuppofe in a Place we all wish to
be fettled in? If fhe be not, my Affection will not eaſe
.her Torments, nor raiſe her from her Grave: So that
ny Grief will either be unfeaſonable or vain; it may
reuder me miferable, but will add not a Grain to her
Felicity, nor abate one of her Pains. But, in fine, God
who gave her Life, is pleaſed to recal the Gift, what
Rea fon have I to complain of hard Ufage? Rather I
thar k his Goodneſs for having lent me her fo long, than
blan he him for taking her from me fo foon; his Favours
are free Gifts, no Debts: It's our Duty to receive them
with Thankfulneſs, and to return them at the firft Call
with a Submiflion and Franknefs. Theſe Diſpoſitions.
feer n'd fo noble, fo generous, that they became the
Gentleman, as well as the Chriftian, and every Man
confefs'd his Character could not be rais'd too much,
nor e fteem'd enough: For Virtue, like the Sun, is more
gazed on when eclips'd, than when it glitters in Profpe-
rity, and we may be ſure it's Sterling when it bears the
Touch -ftone of Affliction.
}
I can, not omit one Paffage that happened in this young
Lady'sickness; it fhews the Skill and the Confcience of
Doctors, are all of a Piece, and that they are oftner fee'd
for killing than curing a Patient, or at leaſt for doing no
Harm, tha n for doing Good. I thought Moliere lafh'd
the Gentler nan of the College with too much Freedom;
that he entertain'd Paris, and the Court, at the Expence
of the Faculty, and drew their Pictures at random, with-
out any regard to the Original; but the Jury of Phyfi-
cians that fat upon this poor Lady's Life, alter'd my O-
pinion, and forc'd me to own, that the Comedian has
thrown more Truth than Fiction in their Character, and
rather falls fort than over-flouriſh'd it.
:
ر
And firft, half an Hour flipp'd by in Ceremony and
Complement; then they gave an Account of Yeſterday's
Ren-
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 543
Rendevouz, and expofed the Diary of their Debauches,
had not the Doctor in Ordinary put them in mind, they
had forgot their Errand, and returned with their Fee,
without leaving fo much as a Recipe; but then they
would not take the Pains to ſtep into her Chamber, but
referred themſelves to the Information of the Ordinary;
he regaled the Juncto with a Diffection of the Distemper,
and pillaged Willis de Febribus to rig out his Harangue.
Galen and Hippocrates were brought upon the Stage,
nay, and Ariftotle: To compleat the Farce, Greek and
Latin were ferved up in Plenty, and one Aphorifm tum-
bled in upon the Back of another. A Maid told him the
Lady grew worfe, and that he was drawing towards
her Agony The Gentleman laugh'd at her Meffage.
It's impoffible, faid he, Hippocrates is plain, that Fevers
come to a Crifis the fourteenth or one and twentieth Day;
now this is only the tenth: How then can your Miſtreſs be
fo near her End?
Hippocrates may fay what he pleafes, replied the
Maid, but if you diſpatch not foon, your Remedy will
come too late.
Has ſhe taken the Dofe of Emetick? fays the Doctor..
Yes, anſwer'd the Maid, but it had no Effect.
Bon, cries the Confult, a happy Prognoſtick.
It caft her into Convulfions, continued the Maid.
Better yet, fays the Confult. But alas, in ſpite of the
Doctor's Better and Better, the Lady grew Worfe and
Worfe. A new Courier put a stop to Enquiry, and fum-
moned the Juncto to the Lady's Chamber: She lies in
Extremity, a Subject of Compaffion and Admiration;
the Emetick put her upon the Rack, yet her Patience was
ftronger than the Pain. She feem'd almoſt to out-brave
thoſe Primitive Martyrs, who neither flinch'd in the
Fire, nor cried Oh! at the Torment of Knives and Ra-
zors; and though her Force funk every Moment, her
Refignation to Providence was invincible.
One Doctor was for Bleeding, another for Caufticks,
a third for he knew not what, and a fourth for fending
her to the Waters; their Skill was non-plus'd, and they
had already diſcharged their Latin, and poured out their
Stock of Aphorifms; fo that, in fine, they concluded
Nemine contradicente, for a Bolus of Opium, that the
might depart without Pain.
Eufebius
$44
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
. Eufebius bore all their impertinent Jargon; but wher
he heard this barbarous Refolution, he was not Mafter
of his Refentment. What, faid he, Gentlemen, do you
believe another State? That an Eternity depends upon
this laft Moment? If you do, with what Confcience can
you in this fatal Circumſtance, caft Reaſon into a Le-
thargy, when a poor Creature ftands moſt in need of it?
You would, forfooth, put her out of Pain, but your Pity is
barbarous, and your Compaffion cruel; for you deprive
her of the very Power of asking God forgiveneſs, and by
confequence of Pardon., Indeed, the virtuous Tenure
of her Life is in fome Meafure an Affurance her Death
will not be miferable; for it's rare to ſee a Perfon who
has lived well, die ill: But however, it's a great Step'
taken in the dark; a Trip is fatal, and an Over-fight
may pitch her on the wrong Side of the Shore, and then
there is no Return. No, no, Gentlemen, if you can do
her Body no Good, you fhall do her Soul no Harm. Few
Moments remain, let her difpofe of them to Advantage;
let her die in Pain, to revive in never-ending Pleafures.
This fhort Harangue propagated the Juncto, and put
an End to their Refolves: However, they took care of
their Fee, but then left all Concern for the Lady behind
them. The Ordinary ftaid not to cure, but to fee her
die: Indeed, this was extraordinary; but Doctors, like
Judges, pronounce the Sentence, but feldom are prefent
at the Execution.
DIALOGUE VI.
Whether it be expedient for Gentlemen to travel; with
fome Directions to those who go Abroad.
NEander's
Eander's Father perfuaded him to travel, before he
fettled in the World: He was of the common Per-
fuafion, that home-bred Gentlemen are only rough caft;
that they muſt receive the laft Strokes of Behaviour in
France and Italy. But Neander, who rated the Per fecù-
tions of a Chriſtian, above all little Accompliſhments of
aGentleman, and affected rather a Decency of Manners,,
than of Carriage, would not confent to the Propofal, till
he
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. $45
he had confulted his Oracle Eufebius, and he refolved ra-
ther to follow his Judgment, than his own Inclination.
He therefore gave him a Vifit; the Father acquainted
him of his Defign, and aſked his Advice.
My Son, faid he, grows in Years fit for Improvement;
he has Quality and Eftate to fupport it. And befides,
Nature has furniſhed him with a good Genius, and a ſharp
Wit, fo that nothing is wanting to render him ferviceable
to his Country, and an Honour to his Family, but Expe-
rience. Now this cannot be well acquired but by Travel-
ling. He has indeed all the Learning the Univerfity can
give him; but then to fteer wholly by Books, without
looking into Men and Bufinefs, is like learning a Trade
without ever coming to the Practice: Who intends to be
Maſter muſt draw by the Life, as well as copy from the
Original, and join Speculation with Practice. My Rela-
tions are divided upon the Matter; fome perfuade me
to ſend him Abroad, others to keep him at Home; fome
tell me Home-breeding will ungentleman him, and
others, that foreign Education will turn his English Blood
into French or Italian; favour me with your Opinion
upon the Matter,
I am not, reply'd Eufebius, fo fond of Travelling,
as fome of our Noblemen; nor yet fo averſe as others.
A Man, no doubt, may reap great Improvement from
the Tour of France and Italy, and alſo make the Journey
to Diſadvantage. He may rather glean up their Vices
than their Virtues, and return both a Clown and a De-
bauchee. He may fall in Love with their Wine, and their
Women; and bring back nothing but a Wife, a Miſtreſs,
or a Diſeaſe, for a Memorandum of his Voyage. At leaſt,
I know fome who left their Innocence and Money in the
Continent, and landed at Gravesend, with as light Heads,
and lighter Pockets, than when they first fet out at Do-
I confefs this wandring Humour ſpreads wide, and
grows epidemical: Men fancy foreign Air purifies the
Brain, as well as the Lungs; that Breeding and Ex-
perience fprout up in the Streets of Paris and Venice;
and that a View of Versailles and Marly transforms Rufti-
city into Behaviour. But alas, Sir, the French Climate
breeds Clowns no lefs than our English; and I have ſeen
there as ill-fhap'd Gentlemen, as at London. Our Car-
riage indeed has fomething of the Lion, and theirs of
N 17
the
546
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
the Ape; ours awes, theirs delights; theirs is fooliſh, and
ours furly.
You have drawn, fays the Gentleman, a difadvanta-
geous Map of the Continent, and if Debauchery be the
only Fruit of Travels, I think we may buy that Com-
modity nearer home at lefs Charge and Labour. For
Vice thrives to Admiration in our Soil; and we have
tranſplanted it theſe ten Years into Flanders, Germany
and Spain; and, what is ftrange, our Stock is not funk;
nay, it rather rifes every Day; and though often Men of
other Trades flip afide, we hear no Debauchees turn Bank-
rupt of their Vices. But, under favour, tho' other Na-
tions have their Defects, they are not quite bare of Per-
fections. They may fet us Patterns for Imitation as well
as for Averfion; and, by confequence, improve a young
Gentleman as well as corrupt him. Every Country pro-
duces Remedies as well as Poiſons, and he deſerves to die
who leaves thoſe for theſe.
1
No doubt, reply'd Eufebius, there are fine Things be-
yond Sea, and a young Man may waft over a handfome
Cargo of Italian Improvements, with a Valize of French
Behaviour. But, alas, Sir, they will lie upon his Hands,
and ruſt in his Wardrobe for want of ufing. We hate the
ſtiff and gumm'd Deportment of the Italian, and to be
yoak'd in Ceremony, or tied up to Steps in Converfation.
And the French Shrug only fits tolerably on a Beau, and
intitles him to the Honour of a Fop.
But, Sir, anfwer'd the Gentleman, Breeding confifts
not meerly in a genteel Carriage, and Decency of Ge-
fture; it reaches to the Improvement of the Underſtand-
ing. I look upon a Man, whofe only Ornaments hang
upon the Surface, like thoſe Palaces that are ſtately with-
out, and unfurniſh'd within. Now Travelling manures
the Underſtanding; it affords Knowledge and Diſcovery;
it enlarges the Faculty, and gives a more extenfive infight
into Things and Men: Whereas a home-bred Gentleman
is confin❜d to narrow Limits; he wants Materials for Ob-
ſervation, and cannot work out a Subject for a genteel
Difcourfe.
Befides, Sir, he learns the great Myſtery of Foreign
Governments; their Fort, and their Foible; the Interefts
of Princes, and their Defigns: And thus at the fame time
he ſeaſons Pleaſure with Profit; he ſtages (if I may fay
fo)
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 5477
fo) into Politicks, and rides Poft into Bufinefs: He re-
turns equip❜d for Employment, and rigg'd out for an Em-
bally at leaft, to the Cantons or Hans-Towns.
Óh, Sir, faid Eufebius, you fend, I perceive, your
Son abroad to catch Politicks. You ſhould remember,
we fluſh at home that Game in every Tipling-houſe:
It over-runs both Town and Country, and is funk from
an Imbelliſhment into a Nufance. Our Coblers and
Tinkers take into their Confideration the ardua regni ne-
gotia, as well as our Parliament; and leave Holes in
Shoes and Pans to mend the Government. I tell you,
Sir, our Soil produces more Politicks than all Europe be-
fides; fo that to tranfport Foreign is to fend Owls to A-
thens. We are, in a Word, pefter'd with thoſe of our
own Growth, and I believe a Prohibition to fhip over ex-
tern Politicks into England might prove no lefs beneficial
to the Nation, than that of bringing over French Wines,
or planting Tobacco.
But, Sir, fuppofing our Gentleman arriv'd at Paris or
Venice, what Company muft he ply for thoſe mighty
Advantages you fpeak of? In one place, without doubt,
the_topping Miniſter of State; in the other, the Counſel
di Dieci. Certainly in fuch Schools he may in a fhort
time run thro' a Courſe of Politicks, and commence Do-
&tor of State-tricks. But do you think thofe Achitophels
will unveil the fecret Myfteries of their Mafters to Stran-
gers, and throw before them the Arcana of the Cabinet?
No, no, Sir, he muſt be content with Town-Intelligence,
or the Table-Reports of Treating Houſes; and then you
may gueſs with what a Provifion of Politicks, with what
a Lading of Science he is like to freight the Packet-Boat
at his return. I counſel you rather to furniſh your Son
with Gazettes, Mercuries, and Clefs de Cabinets. Here he
may catch Language and Knowledge at the fame Draught,
and polifh his Tongue and his Brain together. I affure
you, Sir, I knew a Gentleman, who bid fair for the Re-
pute of a great Man, and an able Minifter: He topp'd
the Gravity of Don Frederick de Toledo; his Air was as
myſterious as his Difcourfe; like the Pagan Oracles, he
affected Riddle and Innuendo's. One would have taken
him for the Grand Vizir-General of Europe, the common
Manager of Treaties, and fole Depofitory of all the Cabi-
net Refolutions. Yet he own'd all his Intelligence to Hol-
Nn 2
land
548 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
land News Books; and when the Wind blew from our
Shore in the Brill Packet-Boat's Teeth, he was at a loſs
for a Difcourfe. One would have ſwore a North-Weſt
Gale had work'd upon his Brain, and blown his Wit and
his Memory into Norway or Denmark.
But, Sir, do you fancy a Gentleman at his Arrival at
Paris fends Hue and Cry after a Maſter of Politicks? No,
no, this is point-blank againſt Cuſtom and Precedent.
His Buſineſs is to oblige Senfe, not to cultivate the Un-
derſtanding; he first regales his Eye with a view of Ver-
failles and Marly, and then his Appetite with all the De-
licacies of the Town. Tho' he brought from home the
bare Title of Squire, the Parifians will prefent him a Pa-
tent of Peerage, and the noife of a Jeune my Lord will
hollow into his Attendance all the Breteurs and Sharpers
of the Town. And when once he is fallen into fuch
Hands, he will ſcarce get out of them, till he has deliver'd
his Purſe, and pawn'd his Confcience. Believe me, Sir,
a young Man that has Pleaſure in View, will be fhrewd-
ly tempted to tafte whether they be as agreeable to the
Palate, as to the Sight, and charm the Senfe as much as
the Imagination; and its odds he will never ftand firm
againſt the Temptations: For Fleſh and Blood, accom-
pany'd by Youth, have a ftrong Tendency to Evil, they
plead hard for Liberty, and as eagerly againft Conſtraint.
And when a Youth lies at the Mercy of fuch Tutors, what
can be expected but Debauchery? He will, in a word, firft
break through the Practice, and then through the very Prin-
ciples of Morality. Befides, he is out of a Parent's Sight,
he is not aw'd by his Prefence, nor within the Reach of
his Correction: So that he ranges without Reſtraint, and
plays the Prodigal without Controul.
Under favour, faid the Gentleman, you ſuppoſe me
little read in the Extravagancies of Youth, when you
fancy I will lay the Reins on my Son's Neck, and aban-
don his to his own Conduct. Though, God be thank'd,
his Behaviour be regular and untainted, his Innocence
may be furprized. Youth has a natural Tendency to
Lewdness; it wants Experience to wave Temptation,
and Reſolution to encounter it. In fine, Paffion and Care-
leſneſs throws it off its Guard, and lays it open to Sur-
prize. Now to obviate this Inconvenience, I have pro-
vided him a fober Governor, who knows Things and
Men;
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 549
Men; who has feen the World, and makes no inconfide-
rable Figure: He is a Man of Parts, talks well, and I
hope lives better. Such a Perfon is able to ſtop the Sal-
lies of Youth, to awe it into the Bounds of Decency by
his Authority, and to inftruct it by his Prudence.
This Caution, anfwer'd Eufebius, is laudable and pru-
dent; but I affure you, Sir, it feldom anfwers Expecta-
tion: I have known Governors who wanted Gover-
nors themſelves, and were ten times more fit to receive
than to give Inftruction. Their Religion was as lofe as
their Manners; they believed any thing for Intereft, and
practiſed any thing for Pleaſure. Now when the Go-
vernor is diffolute, who can expect Regularity from the
Pupil? But fuppofe him clear of theſe Imputations, it's
ſtill a queſtion whether the young Man either refpects or
eſteems him: If not, it's odds his Inftructions will make
no Impreffion. They may beat the Ear, but will never
touch the Heart. He may as well chaftife the Wind as
that Spark into Sobriety, who difefteems his Perfon. The
Man re-inforces the Counfel, and perfuades more often-
times than his Reaſons.
But farther, a young Man paft Twenty is a refty
Creature; his Paffions are at their full growth, and con-
fequently ungovernable. They contend hard for Liberty,
and it's ten to one Pleaſure will get the better of Precept:
For in that Age Senfe affects more than Duty; and the
agreeable enchants more powerfully than the lawful.
When the Law declares him Major, he will not eaſily
fubmit to the Slavery of Minority, (i. e.) he will not be
rid by Governors, nor led by Pedants, like Children, by
their Hanging-fleeves. He fuppofes he can walk by
himſelf, and ſtand upon his own Legs; and thus becomes
fo unruly, that he will neither lead nor drive. What a
fine Menage did I fee at Paris between a Tutor and his
Pupil? They liv'd in a State of War; the one camp'd
in the Fauburg St, Germain, the other in the Rue de
Temple; and had not the Seine run between, they might
have come to Action; at laſt they agreed upon a Trea-
ty: But before it was brought to a Conclufion, as many
Couriers run between them as from Gertrudenburgh to
the Hague, or Versailles.
I am fenfible, faid the Gentleman, thefe Inconveni-
ençes happen; and when a Pupil undervalues the Perfon
Nn 3
of
550
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed,
f
of his Governor, he feldom approves his Counfel: For
it goes againſt the Grain to conform to the Advice of
thoſe we contemn. Befides, we prefume Reaſons can-
not rife above the level of thofe that propofe them: So
that when we entertain a low Opinion of a Perfon, we
diſable his Friendſhip, and put him under an Impoffibili-
ty of doing us any good. For this Reafon I have pitch'd
upon a French Minifter; his Parts will call for Efteem,
and his Character for Refpect.
Upon a French Minifter, reply'd Eufebius, what do
you mean? Are our own Countrymen fo deftitute of Pru-
dence, good Nature and Probity, that you could not fall
upon one compleatly furnish'd for the Employment?
Good God! My Lady's Woman muſt be French, as well
as my Lord's Valet de Chambre; we cannot eat, unleſs
French Cooks ferve us up Ragouts, nor drefs but a-la-
mode de France. We hate the Nation, yet cannot live
without the Natives. They.fcrew themſelves into the
chief Families, and engrofs both Places of Truft and
Profit, ſo that their Puniſhment has prov'd a Favour. For
they enjoy abroad more Plenty, than they durft have ex-
pected at home. Who can reconcile this Conduct to our
Clamours? Who will not think we rail in jeft, when we
thus careſs in earneſt? And that our Hearts are French, as
well as our Cloaths?
We complain the Church of England is over-run with
Fanaticifm, that the Presbyterians over-top it in Number
and Quality; what wonder, when French Minifters.
train up the Nobility? Their Religion is Puritan, thrice
refined; their Zeal has more Heat than Light, and more
Peevifhneſs than Charity. How often have they in
France, made room for their Religion with the Sword,
and brought Liberty of Confcience by Slaughter and De-
vaftations? They are Republicans in Principles and
Practice, and feldom obey when it's in their Power to
command.
Now is it likely thefe Gentlemen will train up their
Pupils in the Obedience to the Church? No, no, I
would as foon fend a Youth to learn Chriftianity of the
Mufti, as the Doctrine of the Church of England of
thefe Monfieurs. They hate the very Conftitution of its
Government, and long fince pronounced its Ceremonies
fooliſh and impious. Let us then ceafe to wonder, the
J
Nobi-
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
551
Nobility ftrikes off from the Church to Conventicles :
French Minifters have brought Apoftacy into fashion, and
raiſed the Spirit of Faction in England, as well as in
France; and I fear the Infection will dilate, fo long as
they wind themſelves into Ecclefiaftical Benefices, and
govern the Children of the Nobility.
But waving a French Minifter's Religion, I am not
throughly perfuaded of his other Abilities. I fear he will
rather confult his own Intereft, than his Pupil's Improve-
ment, and huſband the Occafion to his own Advantage.
For thofe Gentlemen fettle not among us to ſpend, but
to gain; to fupply prefent Neceffities, and to lay in Pro-
vifions againſt Age and Accidents. Now a Man that has
Preferment in View, and a Fortune in his Head, will
probably take the ſhorteſt way to his Journey's end. A
generous Freedom, he knows, as the World goes, is no
thriving Quality; wholefome Advice, if unpalatable,
revolts the Stomach, and alienates the Affection; that
thofe, who countenance Vice, are better paid, than thoſe
that preach up Virtue. This is a strong Temptation to
the Governor to flacken the Reins, to endear the young
Gentleman to him by all the little Tricks of Condefcen-
dence and Flattery; and then the Pupil commands, and
the Governor fay's Amen to all his Extravagances.
It's true, he betrays his Truft; but alas, Sir, Traitors
are no Phoenixes in our Age. However, he is true to his
Intereft; and I find few folicitous of others Concerns,
if their own Work goes on kindly. He may indeed fear
a Reprimand from the Father; but then he hopes a For-
tune from the Son; and, believe me, good Coin affects
more than hard Words. You know, Sir, Men are more
prone to adore the rifing than the fetting Sun, and to
fawn on thoſe who enter upon an Eſtate, than thoſe who
refign it.
You are then I perceive, faid the Gentleman, no ad-
mirer of Travelling: You are for breathing our native
Air, and growing grey under our own Elevation.
I fay not fo neither, anfwer'd Eufebius, I am not ab-
folutely for it, nor univerfally against it. Travel may
improve fome, and ruin others. They may fit fome for
the higheſt Employments, and render others unworthy of
the loweft. I think it convenient for the prime Nobility
to take a walk into the neighbouring Kingdoms; for
fuch
Nn4
$52 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
fuch are mark'd out for publick Bufinefs; they are, as it
were, by Birth fixed in Court, and may pretend to a
Place at the Council-Table, and to fit at the upper End
of the Government, Now People in fuch Circumftances
fhould lay in a competent Stock of French and Dutch,
that they may treat in Perfon, not by Proxy and Inter-
preters. For Bufinefs goes on flowly when carried on
by Deputy, and Minifters feldom agree when one un-
derſtands not the other. It's proper for them to make
fome Acquaintance with Penfionary Heinfius and Mon-
fieur de Torcy, before they go over with a Character and
Credentials. For the Quality of a Friend may haften the
Diſpatches of the Minifter; and the Capacity of the one
forward the Work of the other.
But then, I think, Gentlemen of a lower Rank fhould
not always be upon the Ramble; eſpecially thoſe who
raiſe not their Pretenfions to Court-Offices, but confine
their Ambition to the Dignity of a Country-Juftice, or
look no higher than the Place of a Deputy-Lieutenant:
In fine, thofe who are cut out for the Country, and de-
fign to ſpend their Time and their Money among their
Neighbours.
First, Becaufe foreign Breeding is not a-la-mode out of
Town. It's too fine complexioned for a Village, and as
uſeleſs as a Coach and Six in the Mountains of Glamor-
ganshire. He will ſcarce meet an Occafion once in a
Twelve-month, to practife French or Italian; and a
Country-Dance well perform'd will receive more Ap-
plauſe than a French Minuit, Saraband, or Riccadone. Be-
fides, our Country Air will tarnifh the Luftre of outlan-
difh Behaviour: Time and Converfation will wash off
the Varniſh, and then Ariftotle's Aphorifm, corruptio op-
timi fit peffima, will have place; the beft Manners dege-
nerate into the worst, and the fineſt Gentleman makes the
moft compleat Clown. For what can be more antick,
than Rufticity cut on Breeding? Methinks it refembles
Canvas laid on Sattin, or Embroidery on Linfey-woolfey.
Secondly, A Gentleman train'd up in the fenfual Free-
doms of Venice, and the gaudy Pageantry of Paris will
return with a Surfeit of a Country Life. He will regard
his Home as a Banifhment, and his own Houfe as a
Dungeon. An Italian Symphony ftrikes the Organ more
Imoothly than that of a Pack of Hounds. Comedies,
Opera's
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 553
Opera's, and publick Entrado's of Princes and Embafla-
dors draw more pleafing Profpectives in the Eye, than
thofe of Dunghills or Cabanes. Gay Company affects
more than Solitude; and Balls fet off with all the glit-
tering Gaudy of Silk and Silver are far more transport-
ing than Country Wakes.
Now a Gentleman that returns overgrown with theſe
Notions, biafs'd with thefe Inclinations, will he relish
the Campaign, and pen up his Perfon and Happineſs in
a Village? No, no, he will take up in Town; and on-
ly vifit his Mancir to refreſh his Lungs, or his Purſe.
Since the middle of the laſt Age, our Way of Living is no
more English; like our Language, it's piec'd up of French
and Italian; and to compleat the Oleo, we have thrown
into the Compofition the Vices of Holland and Germany.
The Nobility withdraws from the Country into Town:
That noble Hofpitality proper to our Nation is out of
Uſe, and almoſt out of Memory, and thoſe Largeffes
that entertain❜d the Poor run in another Channel: Game
fweeps away one Part, gaudy Equipages, or Miffes the
other. In the mean time the Provinces are drain'd of
Men and Money. Some run to Town to ſpend Eſtates,
and others to gain them. The antient Seats of the No-
bility are let out to Jack-Daws and Screech Owls, or
tumble under the Weight of Time, and Cattle graze
upon their Ruins; Fam feges eft ubi Troja fuit.
We may date this Change from the Time travelling
became genteel, and wandering a-la-mode. Foreign Com-
merce has brought in foreign Cuftoms; and as conquer'd
Greece and Afia overcame the Roman Virtue and Sobrie-
ty, ſo France and Italy have debauch'd ours.
However, I acknowledge a young Man may improve
by Travelling, if Caution be uſed: For beyond Sea there
are great Virtues, as well as great Vices, and Examples
that deferve Imitation as well as Averfion. You may
poliſh the Body and the Mind, better the Gentleman, and
perfect the Chriftian.
1.
In the firſt Place, pitch upon a virtuous and prudent
Governor. Youth is blind, and if it follows a blind
Guide, their Journey will end in a Precipice, ambo in
foveam cadent. A Man that overlooks his own Duty to
God, will not put a Pupil in mind of his. Our Inftruc-
?
tiens
554
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
tions and Practice are generally of a piece; and if this
be tainted, thofe are feldom found.
2.
Let him be prudent, neither too indulgent on the one
hand, nor too ſevere on the other. It's no lefs dangerous
to keep too heavy a hand over a Gentleman, than too.
light; and to baulk all his Defires, than none. A Gover-
nor may loſe his Authority by too much Stiffneſs, as well
as by too much Condefcendence. And if he commands
with Haughtinefs, he will certainly be difobey'd. To
refuſe a young Man a juft Liberty is a Temptation to
take it, and if once the Ice is broken, he will ſhake off
Dependance, and diſcard Reſpect.
3.
I would not have a great Fault pafs without a fuitable.
Correction, nor a ſmall one puniſh'd beyond Proportion:
For if the Reprimands are equal, the young Man will
fancy the Faults are alfo, and then he will conclude it's
better to be teaz'd for fomething, than to be rated for no-
thing. When we draw near one and twenty, Severity is
out of Seafon; we may be led indeed into our Duty by
Kindneſs, but hardly hector'd into it by Roughnefs. A
Governor may maintain his Character, if he pretends.
only to adviſe, but will certainly forfeit it, if he pre-
fumes to command with Empire and Superciliouſneſs:
And therefore I would rather have him wait upon his
Pupil as a Companion, than as a Spy and a Cenfor; and
ply him more with Counfel than Authority. We often
yield frankly to the one, and always with repugnance to
the other.
4.
Let him not ſtay too long in a great City; when he
has view'd what is worth Obfervation, let him purfue his
Journey. A long Stay breeds Acquaintance, and Ac-
quaintance expofes to Debauchery. A Man that knows
no Body will have no Temptation to tempt another to
ill, and is out of the Danger of being tempted; for who
will ſet up an Incognito? Familiarity goes before cri-
minal Affignations; and Privacy planes the Way for Ex-
travagance.
5.
There is not, perchance, a City in the World better
ftock'd with Men of Parts and polite Behaviour than
Paris;
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 555
Paris; and none more eafy and fociable to Strangers.
A young Man may improve by fuch Converſation: He
may enlarge his Underftanding, and open to himſelf a
more extenſive Profpect than by Study and Application:
And thus he will enter into a handſome Proviſion of
Senfe, not only without Trouble, but even with De-
light: He will raiſe a Fortune in Knowledge, without
the Drudgery of Study, and tranfplant another's Science
into his own Skill.
6.
But then if he may better himſelf by the Company of
Men, he will certainly expofe himſelf to a thoufand
Dangers. If he frequents the Converfation of Women,
their Language charms, their Expreffions infinuate, and
their Air is impofing; they paint Gallantry with Wit,
and both with Freedom; fo that at the fame Time they
attack the Underſtanding and Will, and conquer both
almoſt without Refiftance. How many have I known
of our Nation fafcinated by theſe Syrens, enchanted by
thefe Circes. They ftole away their Hearts and their
Heads; empty'd their Brain and their Purfe, and com-
pleatly equip'd 'em for a Mad-houfe, or an Hofpital. The
Paffion was too ſtrong for Precept, and the Oratory of
the Ladies baffled the Counſel of Governors. For Love
is without Ears, as well as without Eyes, and, what is
worſe, without Underſtanding. It's true, we fend our
Children abroad to learn French Courtship, as well as
Modes; but this Errand is as unchriftian as unneceflary.
We carry the Principles of this Science within us, and
Nature alone will teach it at Home without the Afſiſtance
of outlandish Preceptors. Too great a Proficiency in
the Art is rather to be fear'd than Ignorance; and it's
ten to one, that in fpight of Caution young Men will im-
prove it fome Years too foon, than a Moment too late.
And this is the Reaſon fome leave their Hearts and their
Conſcience in France and Italy; and others return with
a poor Wife, and fome with an impudent Curtizan.
7.
I would not have a Gentleman fquare his Obfervati-
on by Dr. Lyfter's Memoirs of Paris; they are below re-
mark, and fit better on an Ignoramus, than on a Fellow of
the Royal Society, or a Gentleman. Let him not therefore
trifle away his Time in examining whether Afparagus
taltes
556 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
taſtes ſweeter in April or January; or the Roman Lettuces
better than our Silefian, or the Fiacres more conveniently
hung than my Lord Embaffador's Coach; let him not
trọt about to view rare Collections of Cockle-ſhells, or
Skeletons, or Todpoles and Spiders: For after all, theſe
Diſcoveries are not worth the Candle; nay, within an
Ace as ridiculous as Caligula's Journey to the Sea-fhore to
load his Army with this childifh Trumpery. Laffel's
Voyage will be far more uſeful than Lyfter's; it will fur-
nifh matter for Inquiry and Obfervation, and both de-
light and inſtruct in your Journey. Here is a fhort
Draught of the Advantages and Difadvantages of Tra-
velling, I have given you my Judgment of the Matter,
and leave to your Prudence the Determination.
I am infinitely oblig'd, faid the Gentleman, for your
Advice and Freedom; and am perfuaded young Men
muſt not be ſent abroad without Care and Caution. I
will take the moſt juſt Meaſures Prudence can fuggeft, to
keep my Son within the Bounds of Duty. I am wholly
of your Opinion, that Virtue is the most accompliſhed
Ornament of a Gentleman, that this alone renders him.
amiable in this World, and happy in the next.
DIALOGUE VII.
Of the Soul's Immortality.
Eufebius was invited in Christmas by a Gentleman to
an Entertainment. He found a great deal of Com-
pany, who were reſolv'd to be merry; there were ſome
fober Gentlemen among them; but then others were of
the Town cut, Young Goddamme's, that fpoke ill, and liv'd
worfe. They had plac'd their Requiem in this World,
and turn'd off all Thoughts of the other; and when Claret
had warmed the Head, Impiety broke out at the Tongue;
their Heart fat upon their Lips, and difcover'd to the
Company the Corruption that lurk'd within, and one
might read the Secrets of their Souls in their Words.
Some were for the High-Church, others for the Low, and
moft for no Church. Their Faith was Faction and Inte-
reft, and Paffion the fole Motives of Credibility.
A
1
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
557
A grave Gentleman thought it his Duty to rebuke the
Infolence of the daring Salmoneans: Gentlemen, faid
he, this Difcourfe neither fuits with your Company, nor
your Profeffion: It makes the very Soul of a Chriftian
fhrink back, and leaves Nature in a kind of chill. If
you take the Liberty to blafpheme God, and play upon
Religion, I must take the Freedom to defend both; to
defire you to leave the Subject, or the Room. For to be
fhort, thefe Sallies breed Diſguſt, they are Penance and
Mortification to the Company. God will call you to Ac-
count one Day; and if he winks at your Impieties in
this World, he will puniſh them in the other.
One of the Blades (whom I call Athymius) received
the Correction with a Smile. If God, fays he, vouch-
fafes to let me run my Courſe ſmoothly in this World,
I will venture his Anger in the next. For to be plain, I
am of Mr. Dryden's Opinion; Our Minds are perpetually
wrought on by the Temperament of our Bodies, which makes
me fufpect they are nearer allied, than either our Philofo-
phers or School Divines will allow them to be.
;
That is, reply'd the Gentleman, our Soul is indiſtinct
from the Body: Or in plain English, nothing but a Heap
of Organized Matter; this is a fine Scheme: The Sy-
ftem a-la-mode raked out of the Aſhes of Hobbs and Pom-
ponatius, and fquared for the Latitude of Libertiniſm
that poft Mortem nulla Voluptas, removes, rubs, and planes
the way for Liberty; for when the Proſpect of another
Life is fhut up, Men may fport without Reftraint, and
play without Remorfe; but this is to pretend to Wit, to
con the Poets.
Sir, faid Athymius, lefs of Exclamation, if you pleaſe,
and more of Reafon : Heat muft not decide the Queſtion,
but Argument. I am not for implicit Faith, nor over-
refigning to Authority; my way is to examine before I
affent, and to preferve Reafon in its juft Liberties: Abfo-
lute Submiffion keeps us in a kind of Minority; it palls
the Underſtanding, and expofes us to Impofture; al-
ways to walk on Crutches is the way to loſe the Uſe of
our Limbs, and to fteer by another's Reafon, to forfeit
the Benefit of our own.
Reaſon, anfwer'd Eufebius, is an excellent thing;
but thofe who bear the Charter by which they enjoy it,
feem not over-fond of the Poffeffion; if your Soul be
material,
558 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
material, what becomes of this topping Prerogative?
Man muft draw in his Figure, and herd with Beafts: At
moſt there will be no more difference between them than
between a Fox and a Beetle, or Scotch-Cloth and Fine
Holland; the Materials are the fame, the Diſtinction lies
in the Fineness of the Contexture.
I confefs, reply'd Athymius, I fhould efteem my felf
happy were I unprovided of Reaſons that demonſtrate
my felf less than popular Errors make me; for after all,
to turn Advocate againſt one's felf, to plead againſt our
greateſt Prerogative, and to difpute one's felf out of a
Poffibility of being happy in the next World, is the great-
eft Misfortune that can befal a Man in this, but Truth
muſt have place. I love to know my juft Dimenfions,
and as I fcorn to refign the leaft Perfection that belongs
to my Nature, fo I will never ufurp thofe that are fo-
reign; I'll not grow great by Flattery, nor claim a Dig-
nity ſupported by Ignorance and Viſion. If you can
prove by Dint of Reafon my Soul is immortal, I'll
fubmit to Demonftration; and you fhall fee by my Con-
duct I expect Heaven as the Recompence of Virtue, and
fear Hell as the Puniſhments of Vice.
Under Favour, faid Eufebius, methinks your Opini-
on calls louder for Demonftration than mine; for if it
prove falſe, you forfeit Heaven for the Miſtake, and muft
groan under all the Thorns of the damned into the Bar-
gain; whereas I fhall go off with the Satisfaction of li-
ving like a Man, tho' I die like a Beaſt. And tho’I am
not happy in the nex World, I fhall be out of the reach
of Mifery. In fine, I bid fair for Heaven, tho' I fall
fhort of my Pretenfions. But however, feeing you put
me upon the Proof, I'll condefcend to your Defire; yet
though you promiſe to ſubmit to Evidence, I cannot be
fatisfied of the Performance.
I fuppofe, Sir, you will take the Word of a Gentle-
man, reply'd Athymius.
The Word of a Gentleman,anſwered Eufebius, made of
Soul and Body goes as far with me as a Bond, but your Mat-
ter and Motion Gentlemen's Credit finks low in my E-
fteem; for look ye, Sir, any little Accident from without
may ruffle your prefent Situation, and jumble you into a
new ſet of Refolutions; it may flufh a new Train of
Thoughts,
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
559
Thoughts, and then adieu to the old: For Matter and
Motions are bizarr Things, humourfome and capricious
to Excefs; they are arbitrary and uncontroll'd; you
muſt will and nill as they pleafe; every new Impulfe
flings a new Figure, and wears off the old; fo that you
are guided by Fate, and drove on by Chance in your Sy-
ftem, and confequently must be an Infidel, or a true Be-
liever, an honeſt Man, or a Knave, in ſpite of your Teeth.
Now I can no more truft ſuch a Man than a Puppet: I
will not venture a Croſs upon his Honour, nor hazard a
fingle Six-pence upon his Reputation; for who is not
Mafter of himſelf, can be no Slave to his Word.
But for all that, faid Athymius, my Word will go a
great Way, and my Neighbours look upon it as good a
Security as a Mortgage.
I believe you, anſwer'd Eufebius; but this is an In-
ftance that thofe Neighbours are perfuaded your Soul is
fomething more than Matter, when they take your Word,
nay, and your felf too when you give it; for who but
Fools will truft a Man that is moved by Chance, that is
puſh'd on by Fate, and drawn by Neceffity? Thus you
fee, Sir, you difavow your Tenet when you act like a
Man, which makes me fufpect you only abet it, when
you intend to play the Beaft, and that your Difeafe lies
inore in the Heart than the Head.
If you pleaſe, faid Athymius, cut fhort and come to
the Point; Preambles take up Time, and rid no Ground;
but pray let us not ſteer within fight of Metaphyficks,
nor fall to cappin of Syllogifms. I am for plain Rea-
fon without Fard or Fucus, and it works more kindly in
honeft English, than in the barbarous Ergotifm of the
Schools.
I am for you, reply'd Eufebius, and you fhall hear
thofe Arguments that are more eafily underftood than
confuted. Tell me then, is it better to be a Beaſt or
a Man?
I perceive, anſwer'd Athymius, you are fallen into a
fit of bantering; the Queſtion is fcandalous, and the ve-
ry Compariſon is degrading to human Nature; he who
prefers a Beaſt to Man, deferves to be thrown among
them.
DIA-
$60
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
DIALOGUE VIII.
If the Soul be mortal, it's better to be a Beaft than a
Man.
Eufeb. YOUR Anfwer is moft true, but then your
Tenet is no lefs falſe; give Attention to the
Proof; nothing falls under Choice but Good, and with-
out doubt a greater Good is preferable to a leſs: Now
Good and Happineſs are fynonymous, therefore a greater
Happiness is preferable to a lefs. Our prefent Diſpute
falls therefore within this Compafs; whether a Beaft
in your Scheme of the Soul's Mortality be more happy
than a Man? I contend it is, and prove it thus.
It's evident the Bodies of Beafts are more robuſt than
thofe of Men, they are neither fo fenfible of Heat nor
Cold; their Conftitutions vary not with the Seaſons, nor
change with the Barometer. Hence may Diſeaſes ſpare
them that affail us; they apprehend not their Pains be-
fore they come, nor remember them when paft; they
only groan under the prefent, and fo their Dolors are
momentary.
Befides, their Pleafures are more affecting than ours,
and their Enjoyments more pure; they are purchaſed
without Care, and loft without Trouble; they are nei-
ther followed with Remorfe, nor waited on by Repen-
tance; they are not clap'd on the Rack by Jealouſy, nor
haunted by the Fury of Ambition; they are too content
to hope, and not miferable enough to fear; they know
no more what it is to be greater than to be leſs, and
therefore take no Meaſures to conferve Fortune, or to
better it.
But poor Man lies open to the Affaults of a thouſand
Calamities that overlook Beafts; his Body is an Hoſpital
General of all Diſeaſes, and he entertains them at the Ex-
pence of his Eafe, and, in the end, of his Life too:
But the Diſeaſes of his Mind are more numerous and
more tormenting; Hope drives one way, Deſpair ano-
ther; Solicitude difcompofes the Head, Jealoufy the
Heart; Envy qualms on his Bowels, Prodigality on his
Purfe; he keeps no Mein either in Profperity or Adver-
fity; that draws his Reafon, this overfets his Patience;
he
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 561
he is infolent in one ftate, abject in the other; and that
his Misfortunes may be without Remedy as well as with-
out Bounds, he calls back paft Mifcarriages to torment
himſelf again, and conjures up the Ghofts of his departed
Pleaſures to transform them into Furies; and when he
can diſcover in the future no real Objects of Diſguſts,
his Imagination creates them. He fprings Chimera's, and
trembles at Monſters that have no Being but in Fancy;
yet though they are fictitious, his Fears are real, and by
confequence his Mifery.
Indeed he is not without Pleafures, becauſe not with-
out Senſe; but then they are ſeaſoned with ſo many bit-
ter Ingredients, that they rather difguft than delight.
What ſhall I fay of thofe brutiſh Tranſports of Lewdness,
that hate the Sun, and range about in Shades and Ob-
fcurity? Of thofe Obfcenities that make up here the Ma-
hometical Elyfium of Libertines, and in good time will
throw them into the real Hell of the Chriftians. In this
point the Advantage ſtands for 'the Beaſts; their Paffion
as as keen, their Senfe as acute as Man's; and, by con-
fequence, their Senfation as affecting; but then their
Pleaſure is not dafht with Shame, nor bought at the ex-
pence of Honour or Confcience; they contrive no Plots
to ſteal Satisfaction, no Intrigues to conceal it; it ends
without Regret, without Remorfe, and never ftabs at
parting. But Fear always fucceeds Man's criminal Plea-
fures, and even the Atheiſt that laughs at Hell, is at the
fame time forc'd to tremble at it. If therefore the Plea-
fures of Beaſts are at leaſt equal, and Troubles leſs, we
may juftly conclude, even in this Point, they are more
happy.
It's true, neither Beaſts nor Men have found a Recipe
againſt Death, but then they march off without Concern,
and receive the Blow without Reluctancy, becauſe with-
out Knowledge; but this parting Pang hangs cruelly in
our Heads, and fometimes dyes them gray before the Age
of Twenty. For after all, it's an unpleaſant Reflection,
that we muſt fink into a State of Infignificancy, and be-
come cumberſome to our felves, and unacceptable to
others; that we muft grow lefs and lefs, and fall away by
Inches. In fine, that though we nurfe up continually the
Decays of Nature, Death will be too hard for Doctors
and Surgeons, and tear us from the Enjoyments of all
thole
562
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
thoſe ſenſual Objects, in which we place our Requiem.
So that I muſt conclude, that feeing Beaſts, in your Sup→
pofition, are more happy than Men, it's better to be a
Beaft than a Man.
The Confequence is fhameful, beyond Scandal, and
a Man muſt be weary or ignorant of the Dignity of
his Nature to admit it. What does the Happineſs of
a Horfe deferve Envy? Is the Punishment of Nebuchad-
nezzar become an Ornament to the whole Species? Such-
a Creature ſhould be thrown below his Kind, and con-.
demn'd to wander on the Mountains with Bears and
Lions.
Athymius. You have held forth with much Emphafis
upon the Happinefs of Beafts, and Calamities of Man;
but you flag in your Inference: For who would chufe ra-
ther to be a Stone, than the moſt wretched Man that
ever breathed? Yet thofe brave Ages are out of reach of
Fits of the Gout, and uncapable to receive uneafy Im-
preffions.
Eufebius. Were I fure my Soul was mortal, I fhould
chufe rather to remain in a State of Nothing, than to be
miferable; for I can't understand why Being is better than
not Being; only becauſe in one State we have agreeable
Senfations, and none in the other; and I declare that
Exiſtence without Pleaſure here, or hereafter, is no Fa-
vour, and with Torment a Burthen; and were I fure ne-
ver to be pleaſed, I fhould wifh my felf into Nothing,
and pray for Annihilation: For to maintain that a miſe-
rable Being is preferable to no Being, or no fenfible Be-
ing, is the wildeft Thefis that Folly can abet, and I believe
the bravest Champions of this ftrange Paradox may be
racked, or even baſtinado'd out of the Error.
•
Athymius. Suppofing Beafts equal Men in the Percep
tion of agreeable Senfations, are lefs fubject to unplea-
fing ones, yet they are void of Reafon. This Advantage
is proper to Man; and, I muft tell you, one Grain of
Science weighs more than a Tun of fenfual Satisfaction;
this diſcovers the Beauty of Virtue, and the Deformity.
of Vice, and throws before the Will a thouſand Reaſons
to embrace that, and hate this: A virtuous Man, tho
miferable, walks in a higher Sphere, than the moft hap-
py Beaſt. Who would not charge up to a Cannon's
Mouth for a good Caufe, and rather expofe his Life
than
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
863
+
+
than defert Juſtice? I would rather give up my Body to.
a Tyrant, than betray a Friend, and die Innocent, than
live a Traytor: It's worth coming into the World to go
virtuoufly out of it. A Man whofe Virtue will bear the
Trial of Pain, without fhrinking upon the Torture, is
more happy than a Debauchee upon the Throne. Suffer-
ing renders not a Man bad, or unhappy, but the Cauſe ;
Reaſon pronounces the Tyrant miferable that murthers
Innocence, not the Hero that dies for it. Seeing there-
fore Beafts are below thofe noble Qualities, Wildom
and Virtue, I must conclude, that the moft wretched
Man is more happy, than the moſt fortunate Beaſt; and
therefore it's better to be a Man than a Beaſt.
like
Eufeb. You harangue upon the Excellence of Science
a Peripatetick, and huff upon Virtue like a Stoick:
I never read Seneca de contemnenda morte, but, methinks,
I hear a Coach and Six rattle in the Street; they both
make a majeſtick Noife, and almoſt fright and pleaſe at
the fame Time,
Science, no doubt, is a fine Thing, and Virtue a bet-
ter; but if we fuppofe no future State, their Price muft
fall, and the Purchaſe of both will never pay the Char-
ges of a hundred Objects that fall within the Sphere of
our Knowledge; few pleafe us, many are indifferent, and
moſt torment us. Is it fo diverting an Entertainment to
reflect, that Friends betray me, and Enemies perfecute
me? That wife Men fcorn, and Buffoons burleſque me?
Were we void of Knowledge, how fhould we languifh
under Hope, or fret under Defire? How fhould we lie
open to the Affaults of Fear, or groan under the Pangs of
Deſpair? It's certain, in your Scheme, this mighty Pre-
rogative would rather deferve the Name of a Curfe, than
of a Bleffing; for though it made us greater, it would
render us more unhappy.
Courage, Fidelity, and Virtue are great Advantages,
even upon the Rack, in Suppofition of the Soul's Immer-
tality, and Innocence in Flames is preferable to Guilt in
Power and Pleaſure; for this leads us to an eternal Mi-
fery, and thoſe to everlaſting Happinefs; for certainly,
that Creature is far removed from a State of Happiness
that muſt account for a criminal Satisfaction in Fire and
Brimstone; and he deferves not the Name of miferable,
who paffes through a fhort-liv'd Martyrdom into a perpe-
tual Refreſhments
But
564 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
:
But then, if our Souls fink into nothing, when our
Bodies fall into the Grave, Vice has all the Advantage
over Virtue; for that brings prefent Pleafure, this Pain
and then in the other World, the one fears no Puniſh-
ment, and the other expects no Reward. So that neither
Knowledge, nor the Practice of Virtue, add a Grain of
Happineſs to Man, if his Soul be mortal.
But, what do we talk of Virtue? It's a Chimera in
your Hypotheſis; you deſtroy not only the Thing, but
the very Powers of it. Can Choice fpring from Fate, or
Virtue from Neceffity; how can we be Mafters of our
Actions, when we are not of our Souls? And if theſe are
nothing but a Mixture of Matter and Motion, where is
Liberty to act or not act, and by confequence Virtue?
For who deſerves Blame for what he could not avoid, or
Praife for following the Impulſe of Neceffity?
Athymius. You may flourish on the Happineſs of
Beafts, and the Miſeries of Man, till Doom's-day, but you
will never perfuade me to truck Nature with an Afs.
Eufebius. For all that, Sir, Men of your Principles
generally make good Progreſs in the Art of Transformati-
on. I knew fome at Twenty, that became Centaurs,
half Beafts, half Man. Reafon declared them Men, the
Abuſes of it Affes ; Intemperance Swine, and Lewdnets
Goats or Baboons.
Athymius. Reafon ends when Raillery begins. You
have drain'd the Subject, for I perceive Senfe runs low,
let us ftart another Argument.
The Second Proof.
Eufebius. If Man's Soul be mortal, his fummum bo
num muſt confift in the Pleaſures of the Body, in the
Satisfaction of the Senfes: For feeing his Nature is
wholly material, like that of Beafts, his End cannot be
different. Whence it follows, that as Man's Happineſs
and Perfection rife with his Brutality; and that he fits in
the height of his Greatneſs, when he appears as little as
Lewdneſs can make him; the Reafon is, becauſe every
thing is in the full State of its Perfection, when united
to its laft End; then its Capacities are filled, and this
Society lays afleep both the Unquietnefs of Defire, and
the tormenting Impreffions of Hope or Fear. If there-
fore the Pleafures of Senfe are Man's ultimate Happineſs,
the more he indulges, the more happy he is, and more
per-
1
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
565
perfect. Wherefore our King and Parliament ſhould
call in all thofe Laws, that difcountenance Vice, and fine
Lewdness. It was an Act of Injuſtice to make’em, and
is of Cruelty to execute 'em; they ſcare Men from their
Duty, and fright them from their fummum bonum; they
ftigmatize thofe Actions with Shame that deſerve Ap-
plaufe, and canonize Sobriety and Self-denial, with fuch
as call for Infamy; for certainly it's laudable to proſecute
our laft End with the utmoft Care and Diligence; for this
we came into the World: The Purſuit of it is our Duty,
and its Poffeffion the Top of our Felicity; therefore Rapes,
Adulteries, Incefts, and all thofe Pleaſures that ſmooth
the Organ, and oblige the Body, are exempt from Prohi-
bition; they have nothing ill but what is thrown on 'em
by Prejudice, Education, and Miftake.
But this is not all, for Reafon tells me, my fovereign
Good is preferable to all others, and that I may comply
with any Means. to purchaſe it: If therefore it be placed
in the fenfual Operations of this Life, to conferve it, I
may fwear pro and con, blafpheme God's Goodneſs, and
abjure his Being. I may fheer off from one Religion to
another, profefs all, and believe none, to fence againſt
Death. Muft not that Doctrine be monftrous in it felf,
that is fo, flamingly impious in its confequences? It's a
Spawn of Hell; I wonder it infects not the Air, and
turns all into Plague and Poiſon.
Athymius. Under Favour, thefe Inferences flow from
Miftake, not from the Mortality of the Soul.
Eufebius. From Miftake! if the Soul be material,
muft not its fupream Felicity confift in the Fruition of
fome Temporal, fome fenfual Object?
Athymius. Some Philofophers are of this Opinion.
Eufebius. It is therefore lawful to poftpone any inferior
Good to the Supream, to hazard all Acceffaries, to en-
fure the Principle.
Athymius. What then?
Eufebius. Why, I may at any rate conferve Life, if
in Danger; for this is the Bafis, the Foundation of Hap-
pinefs; fo that if a Tyrant commands me to deny God,
with a Piſtol in one Hand, and a Sword in the other, I
may comply without Offence to my Maker, or Scandal
to my Neighbour; and than your Crimes minorum genti-
m, upon the fame Account, muft ftand for Virtue.
003
Atbymius.
1
366 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed,
me.
Athymius. You mifreprefent my Doctrine, and expoſe
it in fo monftrous a Drefs, to hollow in the Rabble upon
I tell you therefore once more, it's more noble to
die a Man, than to live an Impoftor: For, as I faid,
Man's ultimate Felicity confifts in the Practice of Virtue,
and his Mifery in the Exercife of Vice: Now in the fore-
mentioned Circumſtances, we muſt give up our Carcaſs
to Fire and Faggot, rather than fecure it by a Crime;
for of two Evils, Reafon tells me, I muſt chufe the leaſt ;
now it's a lefs to refign Life, than to forfeit our Happi-
nefs, that confifts in Virtue, by Thefts, Murthers, or
Adulteries.
Eufebius. No more of Virtue as you love Senſe; in
your Scheme, it's nothing but Sound and Viſion.
Athymius. Though the Soul be mortal, fome Actions
may, I prefume, conform to the Dictates of right
Reafon, and others deform.
Eufebius. To the Dictates of Divine Reafon, but not
of Man's; for Reafon in your Hypothefis muſt be filed off
the Lift of our Prerogatives: This glorious Quality finks
into bare Inftinct, and nothing claſhes with any innate.
Principle that obliges Senfe.
Befides, though fome Actions were deform, and others
conform to right Reafon; yet thofe could not be worthy
of Blame, nor theſe of Praiſe, becauſe an Agent com-
pounded of Matter and Motion acts by Impulfe and Ne-
ceffity, and by confequence can neither practiſe Virtue
por Vice.
But fuppofing him capable of Virtue, yet we fhall find
it a lefs Evil to defert Virtue, than to die in its Defence;
for if the Soul be mortal, Death is deftitute of the very
Appearance of Good; it ftrips a Man not only of Happi-
ncis, but of the very Hope of retrieving the Misfortune,
for it throws him into a State of Nothing. Now Sin, in
your Theology, corrects the Evil with fome Grains of
Good; it preferves Life, the Bafis of Happineſs, and tho
it ftops the Stream of Felicity you place in Virtue, it
docs not drain it; he may rife after his Fall, and fo re-
cover his loft Happinefs: Death therefore being the greateſt
Evil, he may purchafe the Continuation of Life at the
Expence of Honour, Honefty, and Conſcience.
Abym. Death for the Defence of Virtue, has nothing
evil but Fancy; bear off the ghaftly Vizours, and you
1
will
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
567
will diſcover nothing but Charms: Can Imagination
frame a Sight more ravishing than a Hero that declares
for Virtue on the Scaffold, that dares be honeft in pigut
of Torments? Such a noble Caufe melts an expiring
brave Soul into Tranſport and Extafy; it overfes his
Faculties with Pleafure, and drowns them in an Ocean of
Delight: To foar above the common Impreffions of Fear
is a noble Flight, and to laugh in the Face of Torments,
a beautifying Piece of Courage.
Eufeb. For all that, you will give me leave to tell you,
I admire more your Martyr's Stupidity, than his Bravery;
and I am apt to believe, he would refign you all his Plea-
fure, if you would take his Pain into the Bargain. But
ſuppoſe he overflows with Delight in this critical Mo-
ment, he flaſhes into nothing the next. What Propor-
tion therefore is there between the lofs of Life that is eter-
nal, and the Satisfaction of a Moment? If therefore the
Soul be mortal, Vice, with Pleaſure, is preferable to Vir-
tue without Reward, and by confequence your Hero dies.
rather worthy of Pity than Applaufe; becauſe he chufes
Death void of all Good, before Life the Bafis of all Hap-
pinefs, and fo crofles manifeftly upon that Statute, by
which the prefent Controverfy is tried. Of two Evils the
lefs is to be chofen.
DIALOGUE IX.
If Man's Soul be mortal, he has no laft End.
Athym.Hefe Arguments ab abfurdo, are ill featured,
they raiſe more Duſt than Light, and rather
puzzle than convince; give me a direct Proof that the
Soul is immaterial, and I fling up the Caufe.
Eufeb. Abfurdities are the Spawn of Falfhood, not of
Truth; and when the Sequel is abfurd, the Thefis can-
not be reafonable; if therefore a confequence of the
Soul's Mortality cut upon the known Truth, the Tenet it
ſelf muſt be erroneous. Theſe Arguments then are well
complexioned, and fit for the Poft I aflign them; they
fpring Evidence, and flufh Conviction; Obftinacy may
withstand them, but Reafon cannot: However, give me
004
leave
568
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
leave to explain another Inference of your Opinion, and
then I will come to thofe Proofs you call for.
Surely, you are not fo great a Stranger to your own
Defires, as not to feel an Inclination to be happy; this
Paflion is Hereditary to the whole Species; it accompa-
nies us in all Stations, and even to the Death-bed, when
all other Appetites either fleep or expire, this grows more
keen and ravenous: Now, why has Nature ftampt on
our Souls fuch a longing after Happiness? Why has it in-
flamed us with fo fond a Paffion, that we court it under
a thouſand Diſguiſes? Why has it equip'd us for Con-
queft, if Victory be impoffible? Certainly at our Crea-
tion, God never intended to treat us like April Fools, by
fending us on Adventures that muft end, not only in
Diſappointment, but Affliction.
All Philofophers take it for a Poftulatum, that natura
nil agit fruftra; if therefore Nature never acts in vain,
the carking Defire of Happineſs that haunts us from the
Cradle to the Coffin, may be fatiated by the Fruition of
fome Object. I fay fatiated, for Happineſs cannot be
compleat whilft we defire what we do not poffefs, or
fear to be difçarded of what we enjoy ; for Defire implies
want in the very Notion, and Fear a Poffibility of want,
and both fuppofe Uneafineſs and Diffatisfaction, and by
confequence exclude Felicity.
Now it's evident, nothing in this World is able to fa-
tiate the Heart of Man, the Poffeffion never anſwers Ex-
pectation; the moſt promifing Enjoyments languiſh upon
Experience, and fleep upon the Senfes; we rowl from the
Poffeffion of one Object, to the Defire of another; diffa-
tisfied in all States, content in none. Alexander the
Great could never put any Bounds to his Ambition,
though he did to his Conquefts; his Defires widen'd
with his Dominions, and when he had almoft conquer-
ed one World, his Pride would have attempted the Con-
queft of a Thouſand; the prodigious Treaſures of the Eaft
could not ſtop his Avarice; his Wishes were as prodigal
as his Largeffes: So that his wants ran higher than his
Revenue, though he had ten Millions of Talents, he
poffefs'd nothing, becauſe he defired more; his Pleaſures
of Senfe kept pace with thofe of his Power; yet, after all,
he was not happy, becauſe diffatisfied.
Now
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
569
Now if mighty Princes who walk on Crowns, and
tread on Silver, who have Power to command Pleafures,
and a Fund to fupport them, feel the Points of Thorns
on Beds of Roſes, the Pangs of Want in the Arms of
Plenty, Croffes in Succefs, and Diſappointment in their
moft fortunate Enterprizes, muſt we not pronounce them
miferable in the very height of their Felicity? And if it
can be found neither in Empire, Riches, nor Senſuality,
nor in all together, muft we not conclude Man's fummum
bonum dwells in a fuperior Region; and that we muſt
leave this World before we can enter upon the Poffeffion
of it?
In a Word, the Defire of Happineſs is ingrafted in our
Nature, it may therefore be attained, becauſe it's impof-
fible Men fhould be born with a natural Tendency to a
Chimera; there is no meeting it in this World, therefore
we muſt expect it in the other; our Souls therefore fur-
vive our Bodies, and if for one Moment, they muſt re-
main eternally; for without this perpetual Duration
there can be no Content, becauſe no Security.
Athymius. I own Philofophers have been at a Plunge
to affign this fummum bonum of Man: Some have feated
it on the Pinnacle of Honour; others have placed it in the
Pleaſures of the Body; but the firſt is too thin, too airy,
and too precarious to fatiate a reaſonable Soul; and the
fecond too brutal. I am inclined to fix it with Ariftotle,
in the Satisfaction of our moſt noble Faculty, that has
no Dependance on Fortune, nor lies within the Reach of
Cafualties: Now it's agreed on all Sides, that nothing
comes up to the Underſtanding, therefore our Felicity
muſt conſiſt in the Satisfaction of this glorious Faculty.
Eufeb. But where fhall we chop upon this beatifying
Object?
Athym. The ftately Machine of the World will furniſh
us a large Profpect of Contemplation and Plea fures. I
can never contemplate the Beauty of the Firmament,
the fine Subordination of the celeftial Orbs, their vari-
pus, yet regular Circumvolutions, but I find my felf in
Rapture and Extafy. Sometimes I dive into Caufes,
and conſtrue Virgil by Experience, Felix qui potuit re-
rum cognofcere caufas: When my Underſtanding is po-
fed, I step over the Difficulty, and am even charm'd
with my Ignorance; for a nonplus has its Satisfaction,
and
570 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
1
"
and there is a Charm in knowing we are ignorant of
fomething.
Eufeb. This Contemplation is indeed a handſome Di-
verfion, but a lean Felicity; and I am apt to think it's
far more capable to puzzle than to content; for alas, we
furvey thofe Objects that are at hand through Mifts, and
thoſe that are remote through falfe Profpectives: So that
our Ignorance extends wider than our Knowledge, and
our Intellect is rather harafs'd with Doubts, and alarm'd
with Sufpicions, than regal'd with ftaunch Demonftration.
Now I fuppofe Ignorance rather frets the Underſtanding
than fatiates it; Doubts rack it, and Sufpicions clap it
on the Torture: How then can this fine Contemplation
you talk of lay afleep all our Defires, and place us in a
ftate of Repofe?
But zdly, If Hunger ravage my Stomach, and Penury
my Purſe; if I tug at an Oar, will Contemplation filence
Appetite? Or fill my Purfe? Or knock off my Chains?
Alas, Sir, theſe Miſeries fit hard upon a Man in ſpight of
Speculation, and must be removed by fome more effec-
tual Means than Knowledge.
3dly, All the World cannot whip and fpur for Oxford
and Cambridge; fome have no Wit for Studies, fome no
Inclination, and others no Leifure; Clowns find upon
Experiment, that Action turns to better account than Spe-
culation, and you will never perfuade them to truck the
Spade for Ariftotle or Archimedes.
Again, Women, I fuppofe, may lay fome claim to
Happiness as well as Men; muft they alſo leave the Di-
ftaff to con Plato, and contemplate Nature, whilſt they
fhould make Bone-lace? I always fuppos'd the fupream
Felicity of every Individual was the fame with that of the
whole Species; but no, it varies with Conſtitutions and
Employments; and you treat the Sex in England with as
little Ceremony as the Bonzees in Japan, who diſcard
them of all Title to Happineſs; but this is to poftpone
the Scripture to Pomponatius; to rely more on the Reve-
ries of an Atheiſtical Pedant, than on the Authority of
JESUS CHRIST.
1
DIA-
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 571
DIALOGUE X.
The Soul is immaterial,
Eufeb. YOU called for direct Proofs of the Immateri
ality, I must comply with your Defire.
1.
Man is a free Agent, and by confequence his Soul
draws not its Origin from Matter. Sure you will not
oblige me to prove a thing fo clear, fo evident. We ex-
perience this Liberty in our Actions; we may continue
the preſent Difcourfe or interrupt it: I am not neceffita-
ted to ſpeak, nor you to hear me. Upon this Perfua-
fion of Freedom, Commerce is carried on, and Govern-
ment founded: Who would trust a Neighbour, were he
not perfuaded Honefty were in his Power? And why
fhould a Murderer leave his Life on a Gibbet if the
Crime was unavoidable? In fine, why do all Common-
wealths difcourage Vice by Puniſhments, and encourage
Virtue by Rewards, but upon this univerfal Perfuafion
that Man is a free Agent? This being premiſed, I argue
thus.
Liberty is a Power to act and not act, when all things pre-
required for Action are ready; for no Creature can be con-
ceived free that is antecedently determined to one fide of
a Contradiction. Now if there be a Power in Man, that
can ſuſpend an Action, when all things pre-required are
prefent, its Action depends not upon any Difpofition ei-
ther in the Object or Organ; and by confequence, it
muſt be independent of Matter; but if the Action be in-
dependent, the Power it felf muſt be fo alfo; for no
Operation can be more perfect than its Caufe.
If you fay the Will is not determined by it felf, but
by the Charms of fome apparent Good, or fome material
Difpofitions in or without the Organ, you overthrow the
very Notion of Liberty; for then it can no more abſtain
from Action, than the Eye, when all things neceffary
for Viſion are prefent. Seeing therefore Man is fuppoſed
free, and that Freedom incompatible with a Deter-
mination that proceeds from any previous Difpofition in
Matter, yet we muſt conclude it determines it felf, and
by confequence is independent of Matter, i. e. im-
material.
Το
572
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
To expoſe this Truth in a greater Light, do we not
fometimes mortify the Inclinations of Fleſh, and hold in
the Tendency of Appetite? How many tie up their Bo-
dies to Chaſtity in fpight of Solicitations? Supprefs the
Sallies of Intemperance by Abftinence, and of Drunken-
nefs by Sobriety? Now if the Soul depends on the Body,
it cannot baulk its Inclinations: Can a Horſe reſtrain Ap-
petite when he ſtands at a full Manger, and faſt in the
Prefence of Provender? Alas, poor Creatures, their Souls
and Bodies are made of the fame Stuff; and ſo thoſe have
no Superiority, nor Jurifdiction over thefe: In all their
Flights and Purfuits they follow the Direction of Senſe;
whatever glides ſmoothly upon the Organ, the Soul em-
braces, and whatever grates upon it raiſes its Averſion.
What material Difpofition could force St. Lawrence
rather to broil on a Grid-Iron, than to apoftatize from his
Religion? They all banded againſt his Refolution; Senfe
perfuaded him to relent, and his Body funk under the
Violence of Torments; yet his great Soul was deaf to the
Clamours of Senfe; it facrific'd the Body to conſerve its
Innocence. You may as foon perfuade me that Ice can
burn, and Fire freeze, as that a material Principle can
thus act contrary to the Difpofitions of Matter; but St.
Lawrence did, and thouſands befides; therefore there is
in Man a Principle that determines it felf, and confe-
quently independent of Matter.
2.
If the Soul be material, all Pleaſure must be conveyed
unto it by the Channel of fome Senſe; no agreeable Per-
ception can come at it, but by the Mediation of corporeal
Organs; but the Soul is capable of Delight, that has no
Influence on Senfe, that refides wholly in the Under-
ftanding; thus the Diſcovery of a Truth diſtracted Ar-
chimedes, and he demonftrated himſelf almoft out of his
Wits; he was not able to bear the Impreffion of Joy, but
over-fet with the affecting Charms of his cafual Dif-
covery, he leap'd out of the Bath, and ran naked
through the Streets, without any Regard to Age or
Decency.
Now, what plunged this Mathematician's Soul into
fuch an Ocean of Delight? Nothing but a new-found
Truth, fo proper to the Underftanding, that no Senfe.
could pretend any Share in it; it came not within the
Reach
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
573
Reach of the Eye, or Smell, it was too airy to be finger-
ed; and I believe a thoufand Demonſtrations, though
never fo high-ſeaſoned, would prove a meagre Regale to
the Palate. Seeing therefore a material Soul can receive
no agreeable Senfation, but from an Impreffion ftamp'd
on fome Senſe; and that the Pleafure of Archimedes was
not the Object of any Senfe, we muſt conclude it refi-
ded in the Soul, without Dependance on any Senfe, and
by confequence that his Soul was immaterial.
Athyra. Thefe are a pack of Hackney Arguments, and
fent upon all Expeditions; they are a kind of enfans per-
due, expofed in every Rencounter; but after all, they are
more fit for Appearance than Service. I have not time
at preſent to diſcover their Weaknefs; in the mean time,
fuppofing the Soul immaterial, why muft it be immortal?
Eufeb. The Arguments I propofe are ordinary indeed,
and lie in every Man's Way, but they are not lefs con-
cluding, becauſe obvious; all may underſtand them, but
no Libertine can anſwer them. You ask me why, from
Immateriality, I infer Immortality? Give me leave to
put this Queſtion; is the Maſs of Matter, that makes up
the World, naturally eternal?
Athym. Yes.
Eufeb. Can you prove it?
Athym. Philofophers, if I am not miſtaken, prove it
thus; God as Author of Nature never withdraws his
Hand from any Creature but at the Exigence of fome
contrary Agent. Now Matter has no contrary; all the
operative Qualities in Nature refide in Matter, and
though they fall out among themſelves, it enters not into
the Quarrel, bending to neither fide, it's a Friend to all,
In fine, being the common Subject of Contraries, it can
be oppofite to none, and there lies out of the reach of
Corruption.
Eufeb. I receive your Reaſon, but then it anſwers
your Query; for if the Soul be immaterial, it must be
fpiritual; there is no Mean between theſe two Extreams.
It cannot be an Accident: For it's agreed on all Hands,
that Man is a fubftantial Compound; therefore the moſt
noble Ingredient muſt be a Subſtance. Such is his Soul,
without doubt, for this entitles him to Reaſon, and feats
him above the Herd. The Soul therefore is a fpiritual
Subſtance, that is, a Spirit: Now, no material Agent
can
574
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
can act upon a Spirit, becauſe it can have no Oppofition
to it; therefore, feeing nothing in Nature requires its
Deſtruction, it naturally requires to exift as well as
Matter.
Indeed, as God gave it a Being, fo he can at Pleaſure
recal the Gift; but then he muſt act as Sovereign, not
as Author of Nature; for in this Quality he never with-
draws his conferving Influence, but at the Exigence of
fome contrary Agent; now the Soul having no contrary,
God as the Author of Nature must conferve it eternally.
Athym. Your Arguments, though obvious, make, I
confefs, fome Impreffion, and though they do not con-
vince, at leaſt, they perfuade, but the Refemblance be-
tween Men and Beafts hangs cruelly in my Head; they
are fo like, that methinks they muft be made of the
ſame Ingredients: Their Species is propagated by Gene-
ration, they grow up by Degrees, and receive Nouriſh-
ment and Increaſe from Meat and Drink; ill Ufage heats
their Paffions, Kindneſs cools 'em; they hear, fee, fmell,
and taſte, and regulate their Actions by the Senſes; they
lie open to Diſeaſes, and at laft fink under Age or Mala-
dy; is not this an exact Picture of Man? Does he not
make as ignoble an Entrance into the World, and as
ſhameful an Exit, as the vileft Infect? He rolls in Or-
dure nine Months, and then falutes the Light with Tears
and Clamours; he begs a Livelihood of all Creatures,
and courts the very Beaft for Suftenance and Cloathing;
Paffions grow upon him with Years, Age inftils Vigour,
and Malice fets them on Fire; his Brutality vies with that
of Bears; and his Cruelty out-runs the rage of Lions;
he is furnifh'd with Senfes as well as they, and gives
himſelf over to their Direction: If Beafts languifh under
Diſeaſes, is Man exempt from the Inconvenience? They
both ſtruggle with Distempers, difpute their Poft, and
then ſurrender to Death, and what remains but breathleſs
Carcafes. Alexander and Bucephalus lie on the fame Le-
vel, the Duft of the Emperor has no Privilege above
that of the Horfe. Seeing therefore Beafts are mortal,
why muſt we inveft Man with Immortality? A Refem-
blance of Operations fuppofes a Likeneſs of Principles;
and when the Effects are equal, it's againſt Reafon to
make the Cauſes unequal.
Euſebs
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 575
Eufeb. In the first place, your Argument proves as
ftrongly the Immortality of Beaft's Souls, as the Morta-
lity of Man's.
Athym. Nay, then I'll forfwear difputing.
Eufeb. Would all Gentlemen take the fame Refolution,
Religion would be more regarded among us, and the Ci-
vil Government lefs divided; for whofoever diſputes Arti-
cles of Faith, believes none; and it's a general Remark,
that thofe who eternally enter upon Controverfy, give
more Evidence of Infidelity than Wit: This is, if I am
not miſtaken, your Argument; there is a moft perfect
Refemblance between Men and Beafts; both as to the
Neceffity of dying, and to all the apparent Sequels of
Death; but Beafts die entirely, therefore Men die en-
tirely.
Athym. It is.
Eufeb. Let us now turn the Tables; there is a most
perfect Refemblance between Men and Beaſts, both as to
the Neceffity of Dying, and to all the apparent Sequels of
Death; but Men die not entirely, therefore Beafts die not
entirely.
Athym. Under Favour, you obtrude a wretched So-
phifm for a staunch Reafon; my Argument ftands upon an
avowed Principle, whilft yours fuppofes the Queſtion we
contend for: It's agreed on both fides, the Souls of Beafts
are mortal; if therefore there appear an exact Conformi-
ty between them and Men, in the whole Series of their
Life, and Sequel of their Death, I may very philofophi-
cally infer Men's Souls are mortal, feeing we both agree
thoſe of Beaſts are; but you cannot conclude the Immor-
tality of Beaft's Souls from that of Men, for this lies un-
der Debate; we are in queſt of this Prerogative, and can-
not determine whether Man owes his Claim to Nature,
or Flattery, or Vifion: The Confequence therefore
draws from one contefted Antecedent is illegal; it nei-
ther helps the Opponent, nor foils the Defendant.
Eufeb. The Queſtion is not what I believe, but what
you can reaſonably conclude preciſely from the Refem-
blance between Men and Beaſts. I fay, you can no more
infer the Mortality of human Souls, than the Immorta-
lity of thoſe of Beafts. We fee the one and the other die,
but the Senfe is unable to bring any News of the Soul,
though you fend them on Diſcoveries: If you venture up-
on
576
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
on a Diflection of their Bodies, you may come at the
Diftemper that carried them off: But you will meet with
no Symptoms of Mortality or Immortality; and there-
fore ſtanding to the bare Refemblance, your Argument
has no Advantage over mine.
But I acknowledge, fay you, that the Souls of Beaſts
are mortal; but then remember, I believe thofe of Men
to be immortal. If therefore you abandon the Refem-
blance, and caft the Cauſe upon my Authority; rely upon
it, in one Cafe as well as in the other: If it is of no weight
for the Immortality of Man's Soul, why fhall it enter in-
to the Proof of the Mortality of Beafts?
If the Reaſons with which I eftablifh the Mortality of
the Souls of Beaſts, prove the Mortality of thoſe of Men,
you come up to the Point; in this Cafe my Reaſons might
help on your Argument, but not by Authority; but alas,
Sir, the Reaſons for the one fide have no relation to thoſe
of the other: Thofe that maintain the Mortality of Beafts
are foreign to Man, and would remain in their full
Strength though he were not in Being.
To draw to an end, I grant the Souls of Beaſts are
mortal, and that there is a great Refemblance between
them and Men; the Queftion is, what can be legally in-
ferred from this Similitude? I fay nothing, but that all
that is animal in Man dies; his Body dies, his fenfitive
and vegetative Life end, and all thofe Faculties that de-
pend on corporeal Organs ceafe with the laft Breath. This
is a fair Inference, and all Chriftians receive it; but then
it ſtops at the animal Part of Man without touching the
reaſonable, whofe Being and Operations have no Depen-
dance upon Matter.
But you reafon as ill as you believe, and your Logick
is of the fame Stamp with your Tenet. Man, fay you,
refembles Beafts in thofe Things that are common to both,
meerly as they are Animals; therefore he refembles in thofe
Things that are proper to him as Man. Again, Beafts die
according to the fenfitive Life, which is effential to Ani-
mals, but Man reſembles Beafts in that which is eſſential
to Animals; therefore he dies as to the rational Life, which
is not effential to Animals. In fine, Man is mortal as to his
Body, therefore he is mortal as to his Soul. If this be Rea-
fon, what is Sophifm? To conclude from a Part of the
Whole is a Soleciſm in Logick; and to attribute to a
thing
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
577
thing abfolutely, that belongs to it merely per accidens, is
to defy Reaſon.
In fine, if there be a great Reſemblance between fome
Operations of Men, and thofe of Beafts, there is as wide a
difference between others; if therefore from a Confor-
mity of Actions you infer a Similitude of Principles, pray
fuffer me to conclude a difference of Principles from the
difference of Actions.
I have already thrown before you fome human Opera-
tions that muſt proceed from a Principle wholly different
from any that is to be found in Beafts; and to go no fur-
ther, What is there in Beafts that bears any Proportion
to the Underſtanding? It enters into the very Effence, and
rifles the moſt abftrufe Receffes of Nature; it defines, di-
vides and diftinguifhes; its Motion outftrips the Winds,
and its Rapidity diſtances Lightnings; in a Word, it em-
braces the Poles together, and at one intellectual grafp,
clutches the whole Extent of the Univerfe. Befides, Man's
Soul calls all the material Faculties to account, and minds
the Senfes of their Miftakes; it impeaches the Fancy of
Folly, and laughs at thofe Mormo's it creates to fright us:
If it be of the fame Alloy with them, how came it by this
defpotick Power? Who commiffioned it to call them to
the Bar, and to pronounce Sentence? View all the Beaſts
of the Field, and Birds of the Air, and you will not find
one whofe Soul pretends to any Superiority, to any Jurif-
diction over their Bodies; they follow the Guidance of
Senfe, and believe the Intelligence of Fancy; they cor-
rect no Errors, becauſe they perceive none: Survey not
their paſt Actions, nor confult upon the future; for their
Souls drawing their Origin from Matter, they derive all
their Knowledge from the Senfes, and thus in Nature.
being equal, can exerciſe no Act of Superiority; for he
who corrects must be more knowing than he who is cor-
rected, and he who commands than he who is forc'd to
obey. Seeing therefore the Soul of Man commands the
material Powers, unmasks the Illufions of Fancy, and the
falfe Reports of Senfe, that it judges of Objects not ac-
cording to the Repreſentations of corporeal Organs, but of
a fuperior Principle; it muſt be more noble than Senſe,
fuperior to Imagination, independant of Matter, and con-
fequently immaterial.
P P
بام
Atbym.
}
587.
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Athym. Well, Sir, we have waded into the Depth of
the Controverfy, it's time to retire: Your Arguments
look fair without; at my leiſure I will examine whether
they are found within.
Eufeb. It's ftrange that Men who build their Infidelity
upon Conjectures will yield to nothing but Evidence:
Why fo much Caution againſt Truth, and fo little againſt
Error? Is it fo much your Intereſt to be in the Wrong,,
and ſuch a Grievance to be in the Right? Spend fome
cool Thoughts upon the Matter; fpem ac metum exa-
mina, confront your Hope with your Fear; examine
what you fhall gain if your Soul be mortal,what you will
lofe if immortal; if immortal you forfeit all, if mortal
nothing. If therefore the Queftion were merely problema-
tick, you ſhould ſtand for that Side that promiſes more,
and threatens lefs; & quoties incerta erunt omnia tibi fave,
if I am not miſtaken Í fhall never deplore my Error, nor
even perceive it; but alas, Sir, if you are in the Wrong,
you will once diſcover yours, and always deplore it, but
never retrieve your Misfortune.
The Arguments of Eufebius made fome Impreffion on
the Gentleman, and this fhort Reflection more; but the
difmal end of that Arch-Atheist Theomachus finifh'd his
Converfion; fo that I may fay the Gentleman was rather
fcared than argued into a Senfe of his Duty. Eufebius
received in the nick of time an exact Account of that un-
fortunate Gentleman's Death from a Friend in Town;
and it's fo remarkable in all its Circumftances, that God
ſeems to have permitted it for the Inftruction of Pofteri-
ty, and to convince Libertines, that he not only puniſhes
their Impieties in the next World, but often in this.
Eufebius read the Letter as follows.
HONOURED SIR,
Permit me to interrupt your Retirement with a short Ac-
count of a deplorable Accident: Your Antagonist Theo-
machus is no more; Divine Vengeance has overtaken his Im-
pieties, and made his Punishment no less aftonishing than his
Crimes; he left the World a Convert indeed, but not a Peni-
tent; for though he difowned Atheism, he retained the Sin,
and delivered himself into the Hands of Goa's Justice, be-
caufe he defpaired of his Mercy: So that one would think he
acknowledged aGod merely to provoke him ; for by denying his
Me
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
579
Mercy to be infinite, he forc'd him to exert his Justice, and
dared him to damn him, in ſpite of all his Invitations to
Repentance.
That unfortunate Harlot, that fometime before began his
Ruin, at length compleated it; ſo true it is, that the In-
ftruments of our Sins, prove often thofe of our Punishment,
and that we find our Mifery in those very things in which
we place our fupream Felicity: This Creature notwith-
Standing had nothing extraordinary to recommend her, but
the Liberties of a Prostitute, and the Freedom of her Pro-
feffion; unfurnish'd of one good Quality, ſhe had gleaned.
up all the bad ones of the Sex: In a word, if her Face
was fair, her Soul was black, her Fore-head of Braſs, and
ber Heart of Steel: However fhe fubdued Theomachus,
and maintained her Conqueft; he furrendered at Difcre-
tion, and to purchaſe her Favour made over his Heart,
his Eftate, Reputation, and in the end his Soul alſo to this
Town-Filt; for fhe was no better.
A Friend took Compaffion of this poor Gentleman, and
Suppofed he might conjure down his Paſſion, by exposing
the Lewdness of his Idol: But alas, Theomachus was
not only enchanted with Charms of her Perfon, but (what
is more incredible) with thofe of her Virtue: So that for
Thanks he returned Curfes, and asked Satisfaction for the
Advice, instead of benefiting himſelf.
Nay, Sir, faid the Friend, I shall foon make a Bank-
rupt, if I give good Counsel and pay for it too. I have
difcharged the Duty of a Friend, if you take me for an Ene-
my who can help it? My Intention is friendly, and my Coun-
fel wholfome. Why do you mijconftrue that, and turn this
into Poifon? It's no injury to tell a Friend he is injur'd;
no Affront to convince him he is affronted: Well, Sir, I
abandon you to her Mercy, and I am fure I cannot leave
you in worse Company.
Theomachus acquainted his Mistress with the Paffage,
and envenom'd his Friend's Difcourfe with a mortifying Com
ment; he flew out into all the extravagances of Paffion at
the recital, and would have melted into Water, had not Re-
venge fet all her Humours on fire. She would by all Means,
forfooth, abandon her Gallant, unleſs he vindicated her Ho-
nour, promulge his Cowardice, and curse his Ingratitude.
I am informed this was nothing but Artifice and Strata-
gem: She had been too prodigal of her Favours, to be nice
Pp2
of
580
The GENTLEM A N Inftructed.
of her Reputation, she had long fince discharged both Hos
nour and Confcience, and placed her Glory in the very Cen-
tre of Infamy. She had plumed poor Theomachus to fea-
ther her own Nejt, and was now willing to remove him
out of the way to make room for fresh Gallants; fo that
her Enemies Death was the Pretence, and Theomachus
is the real Defign of her Revenge.
This poor Gentleman had no mind to appeal to the Sword
in Defence of his Mistress; he knew her Cauſe was as bad
as his Skill; but however, overcome by her Importanity, he
Sent a Challenge, and requir'd an Answer; this done,
raifed more Pity than Anger in his Friend's Breast. Theo-
machus, faid he, has lived her Slave, he has now a mind
to turn Knight-errant, and die her Martyr: Tears may
indeed wash out her Crimes; but all the Blood in his Veins
is unable to restore her Innocence. I have performed
the Office of a Friend, he provokes me to add that of an
Enemy; he fcorns my Counsel, and importunes me for a
Stab; but if ill Nature deferves Refentment, it shall not
move me to Revenge.
However, Theomachus was on fire, and the Filt blazed
it into a Flame, he met his Friend, and drew upon him with
the Rage of an Enemy, but Fortune declared against him as
well as Justice; the Sword flipt through his Lungs, and he
Speechless to the Ground; He was carried home in a Trance,
and every Body fuppofed be breathed his left; his Mifs, who
had been inftrumental to his Misfortune, was all Sorrow
without, all Joy within; he wept in earnest, but mourned
in jest, and indeed ber Grief appeared too extravagant to
be real: Reafon at length returned, and Theomachus with
rowling Eyes, and deep Sighs cried out, Where am I? Oh,
I burn and freeze, Fire and Ice poft through every Vein;
methinks I feel all the Pains of the Damned. I leave Time
behind, and ſtand upon the Brink of Eternity.
What, fays a Gentleman, is then the Soul immortal? Is
there a Hell to punijh Crimes, and a God to inflict the Pu
niſhment? I thought the Exiflence of a God was Viſion,
and of a future State, Fuble and Romance.
Paffion, replied Theomachus, concealed thofe Truths,
Death difcovers the Heart may be an Atheist, but not Rea-
fun. What we earnestly defire, we eafily believe: A vebe-
ment Paffion fupplies the place of Demonftration; but now,
alas, the Profpect of Death has laid those Vapours, that in-
terpojed
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 581
terpoſed between Time and Eternity; the Curtain is
drawn, and I take a full Survey of that boundless Ocean
without Bottom, without Shore.
The Company overjoyed at this unexpected Converfion,
called a Divine to bring him to a perfect Senfe of his Duty;
be laid before him all the Motives, Charity and Learning
were able to fuggeft, and preſſed them home with fuch a
moving Emphafis, that all melted into Tears, befides the
unfortunate Gentleman whom they moft concerned.
Sir, faid the Divine, your Glaſs is run; few Moments
divide you from Eternity: You ftand upon the last Confines
of Time, and will either fall into the Torments of the Damn-
ed, or fly up into the never-ending Pleaſures of the Bleſſed.
Impenitence convey you to Hell," a hearty Repentance into
Heaven; tho' your Sins are great, God's Mercy is greater;
ask Pardon, he will not refuse it; a contrite Soul difarms
bis fuftice, and turns his Severity into Mercy.
The fick Man fhewed more Symptoms of Rage than of
Repentance at the Difcourfe, and feemed rather fullen than
moved with the Exhortation.
At last, I remember the Time (cry'd he, with a doleful
Accent) when thofe Words would have diffolved me into
Tears, and split my Heart with Sorrow; but now, alas,
my Eyes are drier than a Flint, and my Heart more ob-
durate than Marble: Ifee my Crimes, and tremble at the
Proſpect, but cannot deteft them.
If you caft one Eye, replied the Divine, on the Heinouf-
nefs of your Sins, pray turn the other to the Greatness of
God's Mercies; if the one breeds Defpondence, the other
Hope and Confidence: One I have finned to the Lord,
freed David from the Guilt of Adultery and Murder. The
good Thief mounted the Cross a Criminal, and was taken
down a Saint; yet one memento mei wrought his Change,
and raised him from Hell to Heaven. Peter, the Favou-
rite of JESUS CHRIST, bafely diſowned his Maſter, and
backed Apoftacy with Oaths and Perjury; yet no sooner
did he deplore his Sin, but Chrift pronounced his Pardon,
and received him into his Favour.
Thefe Inftances, good Sir, faid Theomachus, come
not up to my Cafe; they tranfgreffed their Duty through
Frailty; buman Infirmity had a greater Share in their
Falls than Malice; and thus they feem rather worthy of
Compaſſion ikan Punishment; but I have not on.vfcorned
God's
582 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
}
God's Laws, but flew in his Face; I have defied his Per-
fun, and denied his very Being: An Infinite Justice must
chaftife fuch a flaming Infolence; nay, and will; my Sen-
tence is pronounced, and nothing remains to compleat my
Mifery but the Execution.
At least (replied the Divine) ask Pardon! To be damn-
ed out of a Fear of being damned is extraordinary; God
bas engaged his Word, he will not refufe his Mercy to
those who fincerely implore it: He invites, he follicits you
to accept his Offer, why will you oblige his Goodness to
abandon you to the difmal Refentments of his Fury? Has
Hell fuch Charms? Are his Threats fo inviting, and his
Promifes fo frightful?
The Lofs of Heaven, answered Theomachus, bolts Darts
of Sorrow and Rage through every Artery; and the very
Apprehenfions of Hell ftretches my Limbs upon all the
Racks, all the Tortures of the Damned; methinks I feel
the dire Embraces of thofe merciless Flames, and smell the
Vapours of Fire and Brimstone. Did I repent, God I know
would receive me into his Mercy, but I cannot, I will not.
Scarce had he finish'd this defperate Harangue, which moved
the Standers-by to Horror, Indignation, and Compaion
but mustering up all his Forces, be raised himself up,
and clafping his Arms about his Miftreffes Neck, For thee,
(faid he) alone do I defire to live; in Defence of thy
Honour I die, thou haft been my fole Happineſs in this
Life, and I will have no other in the next. In this Po-
Sture expired Theomachus, an unhappy Instance to him-
felf of God's Judgment upon Atheiſts, but I hope it may
prove fortunate to others,
too;
Honoured Sir,
Your moft obedient Servant,
N. N.
Eufebius read the Letter with Tears, and the Compa-
ny heard it with Tranfports of Admiration; all pitied
the Gentleman's Misfortune, and blamed his Obftinacy.
Well, faid Athymius, I fee Atheiſts and Libertines are
lefs fatisfied with their Principles than they pretend;
they
#
The GENTLEMAN Inftructed. 583
they will stand for them ufque ad aras, to the Death-bed,
but then when they ftep into Eternity, they leave them be-
hind. If there be a God in the other World, certainly
there is one in this; and if our Souls are Immortal when
we die, they are Immortal whilft we live. Theomachus
fwore the Soul into Matter, and hectored God out of
Being, but could never reafon them into nothing; his
Rhodomontadoes ended in Trembling, and his Laughter
in Defpair. God has left his Puniſhment a fad Memo-
randum to the Living; I will profit by his Misfortune,
and not inſtruct Pofterity by my own.
Eufebius was fcarce come to himfelf; the Letter caft
him into a melancholy Contemplation of Theomachus's
Diſaſter, and God's fevere Juftice upon the wretched Gen-
tleman. At length, turning to the Company, Theoma-
chus, faid he, is gone, and his Death anfwers the Te-
nure of his Life; his Pleafures have taken Wing, and
what remains but a Coffin for his Body, and a Lake of
Fire and Brimftone for his Soul; he fed high, like the
rich Glutton, and drank higher; and as he followed
his Example in this World, fo has he met with his Pu-
niſhment in the other, and now cries loud for a drop of
Water to refreſh his Tongue, as before for Champaigne to
oblige Senfuality. Gentlemen! Vanitas Vanitatum &
omnia Vanitas, all temporal Enjoyments are vain and
trivial, purchaſed with Pain, poffefs'd with Fear, and loft
with Regret, they difguft a good Man, and are unable
to fatiate an ill one; they may glide upon the Organ for
a time, but cannot fmooth the Heart; they fawn upon
the Senfes, but always give a Stab at parting. There is
no Pleaſure here but in the Practice of Virtue; this in-
deed is worthy the Purchafe, and will pay Charges with
Intereft; it raiſes a Man above Fear, and difencumbers
him of all the uneafy Pangs of Defire; it turns a Sin-.
ner into a Saint, it gives him in hand a Title to Heaven,
and the Poffeffion in Remainder.
Let us allow fome time to cool and fober Thoughts,
and not make over our whole Lives to Merriment, that
muft end in Tears, or unrepented, in never-ending De-
fpair. We walk on uneven Ground, and if we ſhut our
Eyes, every Step leads us to a Precipice, from which there
is no return: If Caution can give no Security, into what
an Abyſs will Negligence plunge us?
Take
584 The GENTLEMAN Inftructed.
Take up then, Gentlemen, and abandon Lewdneſs be-
fore it abandons you; turn Neceffity into Virtue, and
reſign de bonne Grace, what within fome Years you muſt
in fpight of Reluctance and Oppofition: There is no
Recipe against Death, no Protection; its Stroak is fure,
and often unforeſeen; it attacks not fo much by Vio-
lence as Stratagem; and if it furprizes us unprovided,
we are undone for ever, for on this Moment depends an
Eternity: It's eaſy to prevent an eternal Mifery, but im-
poffible (when once we are fallen into Hell) to abate the
Flames, or to extinguiſh them.
Oh the deplorable State of a damned Soul! To feel
always all the Evils, and all together that can be feared.
What Death! Never to enjoy the leaſt Good that can be
defired? What Life! To fuffer always! To defpair al-
ways! And never to hope, will be the eternal Employ-
ment of a Reprobate! How little do Gentlemen be-
lieve this fad Truth! How little do they comprehend it!
And this is the Reaſon they fin without Fear, without
Remorſe.
Oh the Folly of Men, who will not believe till Flames
confume their Infidelity, but not their Crimes! Till Re-
pentance proves Unprofitable, and their Mifery becomes
Eternal!
FINIS
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