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ARTES
LIBRARY
1837
SCIENTIA
VERITAS
OF THE
UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN
PLURIBUS UNDG
TUEBU
1- QUAERIS PENINSULAM AMOE NAMÚ,
CIRCUMSPICE
W
878
P5
tR




1
THE
COMEDIES
OF
PLAUTUS
LITERALLY TRANSLATED INTO ENGLISH PROSE, WITH NOTES
BY
HENRY THOMAS RILEY, B.A.,
LATE SCHOLAR OF CLARE HALL, CAMBRIDGF.
IN TWO VOLUMES.
VOL. 1.
CONTAINING THE
TRINUMMUS, MILES GLORIOSUS, BACCHIDES, STICHUS, PSEUDOLUS
MENÆCHMI, AULULARIA, CAPTIVI, ASINARIA,
AND CURCULIO.
LONDON: GEORGE BELL & SONS, YORK STREET,
COVENT GARDEN.
1889.
878
PS
tR
LONDON:
PRINTED BY WILLIAM CLOWES AND SONS, LIMITED,
STAMFORD STREET AND CHARING CROSS.
13.
PREFACE.
THE following pages contain a literal translation of all the
existing works of Marcus Accius Plautus (or, as he is called
by Ritschel and Fleckeisen, T. Maccius Plautus), the Roman
Comic writer. It is believed that this version will be found
strictly faithful, and to convey to the English reader much of
that spirit which rendered the Dramas of this rugged but
interesting author such especial favourites with a Roman
audience.
The text of Ritschel has been adopted in the six plays to
which his invaluable labours have as yet extended—the
Trinummus, Miles Gloriosus, Bacchides, Stichus, Pseudolus,
and Menæchmi. Hildyard's Edition has been used in the
Aulularia, with the exception of the Supplement by Codrus
Urceus, which has been translated from Richter's Edition.
The text of Lindemann has been adopted in the Captivi;
in the Asinaria, that of Richter; and in the Curculio, that
of Fleckeisen.
Some account of the Translations of Plautus which have
previously appeared in the English language will be prefixed
to the Second Volume.
H. T. R.
CONTENTS.
PAGE
TRINUMMUS; THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY
1
MILES GLORIOSUS: THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN
BACCHIDES; OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS
67
145
STICHUS; OR, THE PARASITE REBUFFED
211
•
PSEUDOLUS; OR, THE CHEAT
253
MENÆCHMI; OR, THE TWIN-BROTHERS
317
AULULARIA; OR, THE CONCEALED 'I'REASURE
373
CAPTIVI; THE CAPTIVES
423
ASINARIA; OR, THE ASS-DEALER
477
CURCULIO; OR, THE FORGERY
595
•
TRINUMMUS;
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
Dramatis Personæ.
IN THE PROLOGUE.
LUXURY.
POVERTY.
IN THE PLAY.
CHARMIDES, an Athenian merchant.
LESBONICUS, the son of Charmides.
CALLICLES, a friend of Charmides.
MEGARONIDES, a friend of Callicles.
STASIMUS, the servant of Charmides and Lesbonicus.
PHILTO, a wealthy Athenian.
LYSITELES, the son of Philto, and a friend of Lesbonicus.
A SHARPER.
Searc-A Street in Athens: the house of CIIARMIDES on one side, oud that of
PHILTO on the other.
B
THE SUBJECT.
CHARMIDES, a wealthy Athenian, his property having been much diminished
by the reckless conduct of his son, goes abroad. His dissolute son, Lesbonicus,
being left behind at Athens, consumes the little resources left hin, and then
puts up his father's house for sale. At his departure, Charmides has entrusted
his interests and the care of his son and daughter to his friend Callicles, and
has also informed him that in his house there is a treasure buried as a re-
serve against future contingencies. In order that this may not be lost,
Callicles buys the house of Lesbonicus for a small sum. Ignorant of his
reason for doing so, his fellow-citizens censure him for his conduct, and
accuse him of a breach of good faith in ministering to the extravagance of
Lesbonicus by supplying him with money. For this reason Megaronides ex-
postulates with his friend Callicles, and greatly censures him; on which,
Callicles, in self-defence, entrusts him with the secret of the treasure. Char-
mides having left behind him a grown-up daughter in the care of Callicles,
Lysiteles, a young man of rank and character, falls in love with her, and
through his father, Philto, asks her in marriage. Her brother, Lesbonicus, is
not averse to the match, but refuses to let her marry without giving her a
portion; and he offers her to Lysiteles, on condition that he will receive as
her marriage-portion a piece of land near the city, the sole remnant of his for-
tune. This, however, Lysiteles refuses to accept. In the mean time, Callicles, at
the suggestion of Megaronides, determines to give the young woman a dowry
out of the treasure buried in the house which he has bought; but that Les-
bonicus may not suspect whence the money really comes, a Sharper is hired,
with instructions to pretend that he brings letters from Charmides with a
thousand gold pieces as a portion for his daughter when she should marrv.
It happens, that while the Sharper is on his way with his pretended errand
the abode of Callicles, Charmides, having unexpectedly returned to Athens,
is going towards his house. He meets the Sharper, who discloses his errand
and attempts to impose upon Charmides, who thereupon discovers himself.
Charmides then meets his servant Stasimus, who tells him of the purchase
of his house by Callicles, whereon he conceives himself to have been betrayed
by his friend. Afterwards, on discovering the truth, he praises the fidelity
of Callicles, and bestows his daughter on Lysitcles, with a portion of a
thousand gold pieces, and, at the intercession of Lysiteles, he forgives his son
Lesbonicus, and informs him that he is to be married to the daughter of Cal-
licles.
TRINUMMUS;
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
THE ACROSTIC ARGUMENT.
[Supposed to have been written by Priscian the Grammarian.]
CHARMIDES, going abroad, entrusts a treasure (Thesaurum) secretly hidden,
and all his property (Rem), to his friend Callicles. He (Istoc) being absent,
his son wantonly squanders his estate. For (Nam) he sells even the house:
and Callicles makes purchase of it. His sister, a maiden (Virgo) without a
dowry, is asked in marriage. That in a less degree (Minus), with censure,
Callicles may bestow on her a dowry, he commissions one (Mandat) to say
that he has brought the gold from her father. When (Ut) the Counterfeit has
reached the house, the old man (Sener), Charmides, as he has just returned,
disappoints him; his children then are married.
дво
THE PROLOGUE¹.
Enter LUXURY and POVERTY.
Lux. Follow me this way, daughter, that you may per-
form your office.
Pov. I am following, but I know not what to say will
be the end of our journey.
Lux. 'Tis here. See, this is the house. Now go you in.
(Exit POVERTY, who enters the house of CHARMIDES.
LUX. (to the AUDIENCE). Now, that no one of you may
be mistaken, in a few words I will conduct you into the right
path, if, indeed, you promise to listen to me. First, then, I
will now tell you who I am, and who she is who has gone in
here (pointing to the house), if you give your attention. In
1 The Prologue) This Prologue is one of the few figurative ones to be found in
the Comedies of Plautus. He appropriately represents Luxury as introducing
her daughter Poverty to the abode of the dissipated Lesbonicus. Claudian has
a somewhat similar passage in his poem to Rufinus:
Et Luxus, populator opum, cui, semper adhærens,
Infelix humili gressu comitatur Egestas.
"And Luxury, the waster of wealth, whom, ever attending, wretched Poverty ae-
companies with humble step." It has been justly observed, that Plaatus here
avoids a fault which he often falls into, of acquainting the audience with toc
much of the plot.
B 2
4
Act 1.
TRINUMMUS;
the first place, Plautus has given me the name of Luxury, and
then he has willed that this Poverty should be my daughter.
But why, at my suggestion, she has just entered here, listen
and give attentive ear while I inform you. There is a certain
young man who is living in this house; by my assistance he
has squandered away his paternal estate. Since I see that.
there is nothing left for him to support me, I have given him
my daughter, together with whom to pass his life. But ex-
pect nothing about the plot of this play: the old men who
will come hither will disclose the matter to you. The name
of this play in the Greek is "The Treasure" [Thesaurus];
Philemon wrote it¹: Plautus translated it into Latin², and
gave it the name of "The Three Pieces of Money" [Trinum-
mus]. Now, he begs this of you, that it may be allowed the
play to keep that name. Thus much have I to say. Fare-
well. Attend in silence.
ACT THE FIRST.
SCENE I.
Enter MEGARONIDES.
(Exit.
MEG. To reprove one's friend for a fault that de-
serves it, is a thankless task; but sometimes 'tis useful and
'tis profitable. Therefore, this day will I soundly reprove
my friend for a fault that much deserves it. Unwilling am
I, did not my friendship bid me do it. For this faultiness
has encroached too much upon good morals, so drooping now
are nearly all of them. But while they are in this distempered
state, bad morals, in the mean time, have sprung up most
plenteously, like well-watered plants; nor is there now any-
thing abundant here but these same bad morals. Of them
you may now reap a most plenteous harvest: and here a set
of men are making the favour of a few of much more value
than that in which they may benefit the many. Thus private
interests outdo that which is to the public advantage—interests
which in many points are a hindrance, and a nuisance, and
cause an obstruction both to private and to public welfare.
1 Philemon wrote it)-Ver. 19. Not only Philemon, but Menander also, wrote
a play, entitled the "Treasure."
2 In Latin)-Ver. 19. "Barbare." We learn from Festus, and other authors,
that the Greeks were in the habit of calling all nations, without exception, but
themselves, "barbarians." Hence the present expression, which literally means
into barbarous language."
Sc. II.
ст
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
SCENE II.
Enter CALLICLES.
CALL. (as he enters). I wish our household God¹ to be
graced with a chaplet. Wife (addressing her within), pay
him due respect, that this dwelling may turn out for us
prosperous, lucky, happy, and fortunate; and (in a lower
voice) that, as soon as I possibly may, I may see you dead
and gone.
MEG. This is he who in his old age has become a chilus
-who has been guilty of a fault that deserves correction.
I will accost the man.
CALL. (looking around). Whose voice is it that sounds.
near me?
MEG. Of one who wishes you well, if you are as I desire
you to be; but, if you are otherwise, of one who is your
enemy, and is angry with you.
CALL. Health to you, O my friend and years'-mate! How
are you, Megaronides ?
MEG. And, i' faith, health to you, Callicles! Are you
well? Have you been well?
แ
¹ Household God)-Ver. 39. Literally, "Lar." The Lares were the house-
hold Gods, or tutelary Deities of each family. The figures of them were kept,
among the Romans, near the hearth, in the "Lararium," which was a recess
formed for that purpose, and in which prayers were offered up on rising in the
morning. There were both public and private Lares. The latter were by some
thought to have been identical with the "Manes," or "shades," of the ancestors
of the family occupying the house. The public Lares were the "Urbani," pre-
siding over the cities; Rustici," over the country; "Compitales," over cross-
roads; and "Marini," over the sea. Varro tells us that there were 265 stations
for the statues of the Lares at the corner of the streets of Rome.
"Lar" was an
Etrurian word, signifying "noble," or "lord." The Greeks adorned their house-
hold Gods with the leaves of the plane-tree, the Romans with ears of corn.
was especially done on entering a new house, on which the wish was expressed
that it might turn out prosperous, lucky, happy, and fortunate to the new occu-
pants. "Quod bonum, faustum, felix, fortunatumque sit." Callicles here ex-
presses this wish on taking possession of the house which he has just bought of
Lesbonicus.
This
2 Wife)—Ver. 40. Being at the door of his house, before shutting it, he cails
to his wife within. His kind wish as to the duration of her life he expresses just
as he shuts the door.
3 Has become a child)—Ver. 43. He means to say that he has become a boy,
from the fact of his being in need of correction.
♦ And i' faith)—Ver. 49. "Hercle," " by Hercules;" "Ecastor," "by Castor
6
Act 1
TRINUMMUS;
CALZ. I am well, and I have been still better.
MEG. And how does your wife do? How is she?
CALL. Better than I wish.
MEG. 'Tis well, i' faith, for you, that she is alive and
well.
CALL. Troth, I believe that you are glad if I have any
misfortune.
MEG. That which I have, I wish for all my friends as
well.
CALL. Harkye, how does your wife do?
MEG. She is immortal; she lives, and is likely to live.
CALL. I' faith, you tell me good news; and I pray the
Gods that, surviving you, she may last out your life.
MEG. By my troth! if indeed she were only married to
yourself, I could wish it sincerely.
CALL. Do you wish that we should exchange ?—that I
should take yours, and you mine? I'd be making you not
to get a bit the better of the bargain of me.
MEG. Indeed, I fancy¹ you would not be surprising me
unawares.
CALL. Aye, faith, I should cause you not to be knowing?
the thing you were about.
MEG. Keep what you've got; the evil that we know is
the best. But if I were now to take one that I know not, I
should not know what to do.
CALL. In good sooth, just as one lives³ a long life, one lives
a happy life.
MEG. But give your attention to this, and have done with
your joking, for I am come hither to you for a given purpose.
"Edepol," "by Pollux," or "by the temple of Pollux," and "Pol," "by Pollux,'
were the every-day oaths in the mouths of the Romans, and were used for the
purpose of adding weight to the asseverations of the speaker. A literal transla-
tion of them throughout this work would hardly be in accordance with the
euphony required by the English ear. They are therefore rendered throughout
by such expressions as "i' faith," "troth," "by my troth," &c.
1 Indeed I fancy)-Ver. 61. "Neque," which implies a negative, seems to be
more in accordance with the sense of the passage than the affirmative "nempe,"
which is the reading of Ritschel; it has therefore been adopted.
2 Not to be knowing)-Ver. 62. That is, "the risk you would run in taking her
for your wife."
3. Just as one lives)—Ver. 65. The meaning of this passage seems to be somewha
obscure, and many of the Editions give this line to Megaronides. It is probable
Sc. II.
7
THE THREE PIECES OF MONER.
CALL. Why have you come?
MEG. That I may rebuke you soundly with many harsh
words. CALL. Me, do you say?
and me?
you
MEG. Is there any one else here besides
CALL. (looking about). There is no one.
MEG. Why, then, do you ask if 'tis you I mean to re-
buke? Unless, indeed, you think that I am about to reprove
my own self. For if your former principles now flag in you,
or if the manners of the age are working a change in your
disposition, and if you preserve not those of the olden time,
but are catching up these new ones, you will strike all your
friends with a malady so direful, that they will turn sick at
seeing and hearing you.
CALL. How comes it into your mind to utter these ex-
pressions ?
MEG. Because it becomes all good men and all good
women to have a care to keep suspicion and guilt away from
themselves.
CALL. Both cannot be done. MEG. Why so?
CALL. Do you ask? I am the keeper of my own heart,
so as not to admit guilt there; suspicion is centred in the
heart of another. For if now I should suspect that you
had stolen the crown from the head of Jupiter in the Capitol¹,
the statue which stands on the highest summit of the temple;
if you had not done so, and still it should please me to sus-
pect you, how could you prevent me from suspecting you?
But I am anxious to know what this matter is.
however, that Callicles intends, as a consolation for them both, to say that life
itself is a blessing, and that they cught not by unnecessary anxieties to shorten
it, but rather to submit with patience to their domestic grievances.
1 In the Capitol)—Ver. 84. Plautus does not much care about anachronism or
dramatic precision; though the plot of the play is derived from the Greek, and
the scene laid at Athens, he makes frequent reference to Roman localities and
manners. It is probable that the expression here employed was proverbial at
Rome, to signify a deed of daring and unscrupulous character. From ancient.
writers we learn that there was a statue of Jupiter seated in a chariot, placed or.
the roof of the Capitoline Temple. Tarquinius Priscus employed Etrurian artists
to make a statue of pottery for this purpose; and the original chariot, with its
four horses, was made of baked clay. In later and more opulent times, the crown
placed on the statue was of great value, so much so as to act as a temptation
to one Petilius, who attempted to steal it, and being caught in the fact, was after-
wards nicknamed "Capitolinus." Mention is again made of this statue in the
Menæchmi, act v, sc. 5, l. 38.
8
Act I
TRINUMMUS ;
MEG Have you any friend or intimate acquaintance
whose judgment is correct?
There are
CALL. Troth, I'll tell you without reserve.
some whom I know to be friends; there are some whom I
suspect to be so, but whose dispositions and feelings I am
unable to discover, whether they incline to the side of a
friend or an enemy; but of my assured friends, you are the
most assured. If you know that I have done anything un-
wittingly or wrongfully, and if you do not accuse me of it,
then you yourself will be to blame.
MEG. I know it; and if I had come hither to you for
any other purpose, you request what is right.
CALL. If you have anything to say, I am waiting for it.
MEG. Then, first of all, you are badly spoken of in general
conversation by the public. Your fellow-citizens are call-
ing you greedy of grovelling gain¹; and then, again, there
are others who nickname you a vulture², and say that you
care but little whether you devour enemies or fellow-citizens.
Since I have heard these things said against you, I have, to
my misery, been sadly agitated.
CALL. It is, and it is not, in my power, Megaronides as
to their saying this, that is not in my power; as to their
saying this deservedly, that is in my power.
MEG. Was this Charmides a friend of yours? (He points
to the house of CHARMIDES.)
CALL. He both is and he was. That you may believe it
to be so, I will tell you a circumstance as a proof. For
after this son of his had squandered away his fortune, and
he saw himself being reduced to poverty, and that his daugh-
ter was grown up a young woman, and that she who was
both her mother and his own wife was dead; as he himself
was about to go hence to Seleucia³, he committed to my
¹ Greedy of grovelling gain)—Ver. 100. Plautus makes this into one word,
"turpilucricupidum." Probably it was used as a nickname for avaricious per-
sons It is here attempted to be expressed by an alliteration. Thornton renders
it "Gripeall."
2 A vulture)—Ver. 101. Both on account of the sordid and greedy habits of that
bird, and because, as is stated in the next line, it cares not which side supplies its
maw when it follows the course of contending armies.
³ Ilence to Seleucia)-Ver. 112. There were several cities of this name. The one
m Syria, a maritime city on the Orontes, near Antioch, is probably here ra
ferred to.
Sc. II.
9
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
}
charge the maiden bis daughter, and all his property, and
that profligate son. These, I think, he would not have en-
trusted to me if he had been unfriendly to me.
MEG. What say you as to the young man, who you see to
be thus profligate, and who has been entrusted to your caro
and confidence? Why do you not reform him? Why do
you not train him to frugal habits? It would have been
somewhat more just for you to give attention to that matter,
you could have somehow made him a better man, and not
for you yourself to be a party to the same disreputable con-
duct, and share your dishonour with his disgrace ?
if
CALL. What have I done?
MEG. That which a bad man would do.
CALL. That is no name of mine.
MEG. Have you not bought this house from that young
man? (Apause.) Why are you silent? This, where you
yourself are now living. (He points to the house of CHAR-
MIDES.)
CALL. I did buy it, and I gave the money for it,-forty
minæ¹, to the young man himself, into his own hand.
MEG. You gave the money, do you say?
CALL. 'Twas done; and I am not sorry 'twas done.
MEG. I' faith-a young man committed to untrusty keep-
ing. Have you not by these means given him a sword with
which to slay himself? For, prithee, what else is it, your
giving ready money to a young man who loves women, and
weak in intellect, with which to complete his edifice of folly
which he had already commenced?
CALL. Ought I not to have paid him the money?
MEG. You ought not to have paid him; nor ought you
either to have bought anything of or sold anything to him;
nor should you have provided him with the means of be-
coming worse. Have you not taken in the person who was
entrusted to you? Have you not driven out of his house
the man who entrusted him to you? By my faith, a pretty
"
'Forty mine)-Ver. 126. Unless he adds the adjective “aurea,” golden,*
Plautus always means silver "mine." The "mina" was the sixtieth part of the
Attic talent, and contained one hundred "drachmæ," of about ninepence three-
farthings each.
10
Act I
TRINUMMUS ;
trust, and a faithful guardianship! Leave him to take care
of himself; he would manage his own affairs much better.
CALL. You overpower me, Megaronides, with your accu-
sations, in a manner so strange, that what was privately en-
trusted to my secrecy, fidelity, and constancy, for me to tell
it to no one, nor make it public, the same I am now com
pelled to entrust to you.
MEG. Whatever you shall entrust to me, you shall take
up the same where you have laid it down.
CALL. Look round you, then, that no overlooker may be
near us (MEGARONIDES looks on every side); and look around
every now and then, I beg of you.
MEG. I am listening if you have aught to say.
CALL. If you will be silent, I will speak. At the time
when Charmides set out hence for foreign parts, he showed
me a treasure in this house, here in a certain closet-
starts as if he hears a noise.) But do look around.
MEG. There is no one.
(He
CALL. Of Philippean pieces¹ to the number of three thou-
sand. Alone with myself, in tears, he entreated me, by our
friendship and by my honour, not to entrust this to his son,
nor yet to any one, from whom that might come to his
knowledge. Now, if he comes back hither safe, I will restore
to him his own. But if anything should happen to him, at
all events I have a stock from which to give a marriage-
portion to his daughter, who has been entrusted to me, that
I may settle her in a condition of life that befits her.
MEG. O ye immortal gods! how soon, in a few words,
you have made another man of me; I came to you quite
a different person. But, as you have begun, proceed further
to inform me.
CALL. What shall I tell you? How that this worthless
fellow had almost utterly ruined his caution and my own
trustiness and all the secret.
MEG. How so?
CALL. Because, while I was in the country for only six
days, in my absence and without my knowledge, without
1 Of Philippean pieces)-Ver. 152. These were gold coins much in circulation
throughout Greece, struck by Philip, King of Macedor.
Sc. II.
11
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
consulting me, he advertised with bills this house for
sale.
2
MEG. The wolf hungered the more, and cpened his mouth
the wider; he watched till the dog went to sleep; and
intended to carry off the whole entire flock.
CALL. I' faith, he would have done it, if the dogs had not
perceived this in time. But now, in my turn, I wish to ask
you this: let me know what it was my duty for me to do.
Whether was it right for me to discover the treasure to him,
against which very thing his father had cautioned me, or
should I have permitted another person to become the owner
of this house? Ought that money to have belonged to him
who bought the house? In preference, I myself bought the
house; I gave the money for the sake of the treasure, that I
might deliver it safe to my friend. I have not, then, bought
this house either for myself or for my own use; for Char-
mides have I bought it back again; from my own store have
I paid the money. This, whether it has been done right-
fully or wrongfully, I own, Megaronides, that I have done.
Here, then, are my misdeeds; here, then, is my avarice. Is
it for these things that they spread false reports against me?
MEG. Stay-you have overcome your corrector. You have
tied my tongue; there is nothing for me to say in answer.
CALL. Now I entreat you to aid me with your assistance
and counsel, and to share this duty of mine in common with
me.
MEG. I promise you my assistance.
CALL. Where, then, will you be a short time hence ?
MEG. At home.
CALL. Do you wish anything else?
MEG. Attend to the trust reposed in you.
CALL. That is being carefully done.
MEG. But how say you-
?
¹ Advertised with bills)—Ver. 168. The method among the Romans of letting,
or selling houses, was similar to ours. A bill was fixed upon the house, or
some conspicuous place near it, inscribed with "Ædes locandæ," "This house
to be let," or "Edes vendundæ," "This house for sale."
2 Ile watched till)-Ver. 170. He alludes to the conduct of Lesboniens, who
watched for the absence of his guardian, Callicles, that he might sell the house.
This he would attempt to do, probably, on the plea that his father, not having been
heard of for a long time, must be presumed to be dead, and the house has con-
soquently descended to him, as his heir.
12
Act I
TRINUMMUS;
CALL. What do you want?
MEG. Where is the young man living now?
1
CALL. This back part of the building he retained when
he sold the house.
MEG. That I wanted to know.
But what say you, where is the
your house, I suppose?
Now, then, go at once.
damsel now ?
She is at
CALL. She is so; I take care of her almost as much as of
my own daughter.
MEG. You act properly.
CALL. Before I go away, are you going to ask me any-
thing else?
MEG. Farewell.
(Exit CALLICLES.) Really, there is
nothing more foolish or more stupid, nothing more lying or
indeed more tattling, more self-conceited or more forsworn,
than those men of this city everlastingly gossiping about, whom
they call Busybodies. And thus have I enlisted myself in
their ranks together with them; who have been the swallower
of the false tales of those who pretend that they know every-
thing, and yet know nothing. They know, forsooth, what each
person either has in his mind, or is likely to have; they know
what the king whispered in the ear of the queen; they know
what Juno talked about in conversation with Jupiter; that
which neither is nor is likely to be, do these fellows know.
Whether they praise or dispraise any one they please, falsely
or truly, they care not a straw, so they know that which they
¹ The back part)—Ver. 194. "Posticulum" probably means detached buildings
at the back of the house, and within the garden walls, which adjoin the " posti-
cum" or "posticula," the "back door" or "garden-gate."
2 Call Busybodies)—Ver. 202. The word "Scurra," which is here rendered
"busybody," originally meant "a fellow-townsman," well to do in life, and a
pleasant companion. In time, however, the word came to have a bad signification
attached to it, and to mean an idle fellow, who did nothing but go about cracking
his jokes at the expense of others, gossiping, and mischief-making, and at last to
signify "a clown," "buffoon," or "mimic" on the stage. These men are most
probably termed here " assidui," "everlasting gossipers," from a habit which many
people have of making frequent calls on their neighbours, sitting down, and never
thinking of taking their departure till they have exhausted all their stock of evil-
speaking, lying, and slandering. Gossiping was notoriously the propensity of the
Athenians. Numbers did nothing but saunter about the city, and go from spot
to spot, with the question Tɩ kaivou, "Any news ?" Fow will fail to remem-
ber the censure of them in the Seventeenth chapter of the Acts of the Apostles,
v. 21: For all the Athenians and strangers which were there spent their time
in nothing else, bu either to tell, or to hear some new thing."
LL
Act II.
13
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
choose to know. All people were in the habit of saying that
this Callicles was unworthy of this state, and, himself, to
exist, who had despoiled this young man of his property.
From the reports of these tale-bearers, in my ignorance I
rushed forward to rebuke my guiltless friend. But if the
authority was always required from the foundation, upon
which they speak of anything they have heard, unless that
clearly appeared, the matter ought to be to the peril and
loss of the tale-bearer. If this were so, it would be for the
public benefit. I would cause those to be but few, who
know that which they do not know¹, and I would make them
have their silly chattering more restricted.
(Exit.
ACT THE SECOND.
SCENE I.
Enter LYSITELES.
Lys. I am revolving many things in my mind at once,
and much uneasiness do I find in thinking upon them. I
tease, and fret, and wear myself out; a mind that enjoins a
hard task² is now my master. But this thing is not clear to
me, nor has it been enough studied by me, which pursuit of
these two I should rather follow for myself; which of the
two I should think of the greater stability for passing my life
therein: whether it were preferable for me to devote myself
to love or to aggrandisement; in which alternative there is
more enjoyment of life in passing one's days. On this point
I am not fully satisfied. But this I think I'll do, that I may
weigh both the points together, I must be both judge and
culprit in this trial: I'll do so-I like it much. First of all,
I will enlarge upon the pursuits of love, how they conduce
to one's welfare. Love never expects any but the willing man
to throw himself in his toils; these he seeks for, these he
follows up, and craftily counsels against their interests. He
is a fawning flatterer, a rapacious grapplers, a deceiver, a
They do not know)—Ver. 321. That is, "who only pretend to know."
2 That enjoins a hard task)—Ver. 226. "Exercitor" means the "instructor
training master" in the Gymnastic exercises. Of course, to beginners, the
แ
"exercitores” would be hard task-masters.
แ
3 A rapacious grappler)—Ver. 239. Harpago
means either a "grappling
iron" or a "flesh-hook."
"flesh-hook." It was often made in the form of a hand, with the
14
Act II.
TRINUMMUS;
sweet-tooth, a spoñer, a corrupter of men who court retire-
ment, a pryer into secrets. For he that is in love, soon as
ever he has been smitten with the kisses of the object that
he loves, forthwith his substance vanishes out of doors and
melts away.
"Give me this thing¹, my honey, if you love me,
if you possibly can." And then this gudgeon says: "O apple
of my eye, be it so: both that shall be given you, and still
more, if you wish it to be given." Then does she strike while
he is wavering; and now she begs for more. Not enough
is this evil, unless there is still something more what to
eat, what to drink. A thing that creates a further expense,
the favour of a night is granted; a whole family is then
introduced for her a wardrobe-woman, a perfume-keepers,
a cofferer, fan-bearers, sandal-bearers7, singing-girls, casket-
fingers bent inwards. The grappling-iron was used to throw at the enemy's ship,
where it seized the rigging and dragged the vessel within reach, so that it might be
easily boarded and destroyed. Cupid is so called here, figuratively, from his in-
sidious approaches, and the difficulty which his victims have in shaking him off
1 Give me this thing)-Ver. 244. This is supposed to be pronounced in a
mincing or affected way, to imitate the wheedling manners of the frail tempter.
2 While he is wavering)-Ver. 247. Literally, "she strikes him as he hangs."
Lindemann seems to think that there is a play upon the word "pendentem,"
which would apply either to the slave, who, according to the barbarous custom of
the Romans, was lashed as he hung from the hook to which he was fastened by
the hands, or to the lover who is hesitating between assent and refusal; on
which she, by her artfulness-" ferit"-" strikes the decisive blow." Terence has
the expression" ferior munere,"
"" to strike with a present."
³ ▲ thing that creates)—Ver. 250. This passage is here read with a period after
"comest," and not after "sumpti," as Ritschel's edition has it. This seems more
agreeable to the sense of the passage, which is, however, probably in a corrupt
state.
✦ Wardrobe-woman)-Ver. 252. The duty of the "vestiplica" would be to fold
up and try the clothes of her mistress. These slaves were also called "vestispicæ,"
and servants "a veste."
• A perfume-keeper)—Ver. 252. The "unctor was probably a male slave,
whose duty it was to procure and keep the perfumes and unguents for his
mistress.
• Fan-bearers)-Ver. 252. Both male and female slaves, and eunuchs, were
employed to fan their mistresses. The fans were of elegant form and beautiful
colours, and were frequently made of peacocks' feathers, being of a stiff shape,
and not pliable, like ours. They were used both for the purpose of cooling the air
and driving away flies and gnats.
7 Sandal-bearers)—Ver. 252. The sandal was often one of the most costly
articles of the female dress, being much adorned with embroidery and gold.
Originally it was worn by both sexes, and consisted of a wooden sole, fastened with
Sc. I.
15
THE TILREE PIECES OF MONEY.
keepers¹, messengers, news-carriers, so many wasters of his
bread and substance. The lover himself, while to them he
is complaisant, becomes a beggar. When I revolve these
things in my mind, and when I reflect how little one is valued
when he is in need; away with you, Love-I like you not
-no converse do I hold with you. Although 'tis sweet to
feast and to carouse, Love still gives bitters enough to be
distasteful. He avoids the Courts of justice, he drives
away your relations, and drives yourself away from your owu
contemplation. Nor do men wish that he should be called
their friend. In a thousand ways is Love to be held a stranger,
to be kept at a distance, and to be wholly abstained from.
For he who plunges into love, perishes more dreadfully than
if he leapt from a rock. Away with you, Love, if you please;
keep your own³ property to yourself. Love, never be you
a friend of mine; some there are, however, whom, in their
misery, you may keep miserable and wretched those whom
you have easily rendered submissive to yourself. My fixed
determination is to apply my mind to my advancement in life,
although, in that, great labour is undergone by the mind.
Good men wish these things for themselves, gain, credit, and
honour, glory, and esteem; these are the rewards of the up-
right. It delights me, then, the more, to live together with the
upright rather than with the deceitful promulgators of lies.
thongs to the foot. In latter times, its use was confined to females, and a piece
of leather covered the toes, while thongs, elegantly decorated, were attached to it.
From the present passage it appears that it was the duty of a particular slave to
take charge of sandals.
¹ Casket keepers)—Ver. 253. The "cistellatrix" probably had charge of the
jewel casket of her mistress. The present passage shows in what affluence and
splendour some of the courtesans lived in those days.
2 Avoids the Courts)—Ver. 261. Shakspeare has a somewhat similar passage
in Romeo and Juliet:
"But all so soon as the all-cheering sun
Should in the furthest East begin to draw
The shady curtains from Aurora's bed,
Away from light steals home my heavy son,
And private in his chamber pens himself,
Shuts up his windows, locks fair daylight ont,
And makes himself an artificial night."
• Keep your own)-Ver. 266. This is as much as to say, "I divorce mysel
from you, and utterly repudiate you." The words "tuas res tibi habeto" were
the formula sclemanly pronounced among the Romans by the husband in cases
of divorce, when he delivered back to the wife her own separate property.
1 j
Act II.
TRINUMMUS;
SCENE II.
Enter PHILTO.
PHIL. (looking about). Where has this man betaken
himself out of doors from the house ?
Lys. (coming up to him). I am here, father; command
me what you will, and I shall cause no delay to you, nor
will I hide myself in any skulking-place out of your sight.
These
PHIL. You will be doing what is consonant to the rest of
your conduct if you reverence your father. By your duty to
me, my son, I wish you, for my sake, not to hold any con-
verse with profligate men, either in the street or in the
Forum. I know this age-what its manners are. The bad
man wishes the good man to be bad, that he may be like
himself. The wicked, the rapacious, the covetous, and the
envious, disorder and confound the morals of the age: a crew
gaping for gain, they hold the sacred thing as profane-the
public advantage as the private emolument. At these things
do I grieve, these are the matters that torment me.
things am I constantly repeating both day and night, that
you may use due precaution against them. They only deem
it right to keep their hands off that which they cannot touch
with their hands; as to the rest, seize it, carry it off, keep
it, be off and go hide, that is the word with them. These
things, when I behold them, draw tears from me, because I
have survived to see such a race of men. Why have I not
rather descended to the dead' ere this ? For these men praise
the manners of our ancestors, and defile those same persons
whom they commend. With regard, then, to these pursuits,
I enjoin you not to taint your disposition with them. Live
after my fashion, and according to the ancient manners;
what I am prescribing to you, the same do you remember
and practise. I have no patience with these fashionable man-
ners, upsetting preconceived notions, with which good men.
are now disgracing themselves. If you follow these my in-
junctions to you, many a good maxim will take root in your
breast.
To the dead)-Ver. 291. "Ad plures," "to the many," signifies "the dead,
inasmuch as they are more in number than the living. It was probably used as
a euphemism, as to make mention of death was considered ominous of ill. Homer
in the Odyssey, uses Tous λecovàs in a similar sense
$c. 11.
17
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
1
Lys. From my earliest youth, even up to this present
age, I have always, father, paid all submission to the injunc-
tions you have given. So far as my nature was concerned, I
considered that I was free; so far as your injunctions were
concerned, I deemed it proper that my mind should pay all
submission to you.
}
PHIL. The man who is struggling with his inclination from
his earliest age, whether he ought to prefer to be so, as his
inclination thinks it proper that he should be, or whether,
rather so as his parents and his relations wish him to be-if
his inclination conquers that man, it is all over with him; he
is the slave of his inclination and not of himself. But if he
conquers his inclination, he truly lives and shall be famed as
a conqueror of conquerors. If you have conquered your in-
clination rather than your inclination you, you have reason to
rejoice. 'Tis better by far that you should be such as you
ought to be, than such as pleases your inclination. Those
who conquer the inclination will ever be esteemed better men
than those whom the inclination subdues.
Lys. I have ever esteemed these maxims as the shield of
my youthful age; never to betake myself to any place where
vice was the order of the day¹, never to go to stroll about
at night, nor to take from another that which is his. I
have taken all precautions, my father, that I might not cause
you uneasiness; I have ever kept your precepts in due pre-
servation by my own rule of conduct.
PHIL. And do you reproach me, because you have acted
aright? For yourself have you done so, not for me: my life,
indeed, is nearly pasts; this matter principally concerns your
own. Keep on overlaying good deeds with other good.
1 Where vice was the order of the day)—Ver. 314. "Damni conciliabulum."
Literally, the place of counsel for wickedness."
99.66
2 In due preservation)—Ver. 317. Buildings were said to be "sarta tecta,' in
good repair," when the roof was proof against rain. The expression is here used
figuratively, to signify, "I have punctually observed your injunctions."
3 Is nearly past)-Ver. 319. It is worthy of remark that this line is quoted by
Cicero in his second Epistle to Brutus: "Sed de hoc tu videris. De me possum
dicere idem quod Plautinus pater in Trinummo, mihi quidem ætas acta ferme
"As for that matter, it is your concern. For my own part, I may say wit
the father in the Trinummus of Plautus, my life is nearly past
est.'"
4 Keep on overlaying)—Ver. 320. ṛ'hilto is most probably alluding to the meta-
phorical expression, "sarta tecta," used just before by his son: and he tells him
a
18
Act I
τ
TRINUMMUS;
deeds, that the rain may not come through. He is the up-
right man who is not content with it, however upright/and
however honest he may chance to be. He who readily gives
satisfaction to himself, is not the upright man, nor is he
really honest: he who thinks but meanly of himself, in him
is there a tendency to well-doing.
Lrs. For this reason, father, I have thought that since
there is a certain thing that I wish for, I would request it of
you.
PHIL. What is it? I am already longing to give assent.
Lrs. A young man here, of noble family, ray friend and
years' mate, who has managed his own affairs/but heedlessly
and unthinkingly-I wish, father, to do him a service, if you
are not unwilling.
PHIL. From your own means, I suppose?
Lys. From my own means-for what, is yours is mine,
and all mine is yours.
PHIL. What is he doing? Is he in want?
Lrs. He is in want.
PHIL. Had he property? Lys. Ile had.
PHIL. How did he lose it?
Was he connected with pub-
lic business¹, or with commercial matters? Had he merchan-
dise or wares to sell, when he lost his property?
Lys. None of these. PHIL. What then?
LYS. I' faith, my father, by his good-nature. Besides, to
indulge his tastes, he wasted some part of it in luxury.
PHIL. By my troth now! a fellow spoken of boldly, and as
on familiar terms;-one, indeed, who has never dissipated
his fortune by any good means, and is now in want. I
cannot brook that, with qualities of that description, he
should be your friend.
Lys. 'Tis because he is without any bad disposition that
I wish to relieve his wants.
PUIL. He deserves ill of a beggar who gives him what
to eat or to drink; for he both loses that which he gives
that the only way to keep rain from coming in at the roof (that is, to keep evil
thoughts out of the mind) is to overlay one good deed with another, just as tile is
laid upon tile.
1 With public busin ss)-Ver. 331. He means by this expression, "has he been
farming the taxes or the public lands ?" which of course would be a pursuit at-
tended with considerable risk.
Sc. II.
19
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
and prolongs for the other a life of misery. I do not say
this because I am unwilling and would not readily do what
you desire; but when I apply these expressions to that
same person, I am warning you beforehand, so to have com-
passion on others, that others may not have to pity you.
Lys. I am ashamed to desert him, and to deny him aid
in his adversity.
PHIL. I' troth, shame is preferable to repentance by just
as many letters¹ as it consists of.
Lrs. In good sooth, father, by the care of the Gods,
and of my forefathers, and your own, I may say that we
possess much property, honestly obtained. If you do a
service to a friend, it ought not to make you repent that you
have done so; it ought rather to cause you shame if you do
not do it.
PHIL. If from great wealth you subtract something, does
it become more or less?
Lrs. Less, father. But do you know what is wont to be
repeated to the niggardly citizen²? "That which thou hast
mayst thou not have, and mayst thou have that misfortune
which thou hast not; since thou canst neither endure it to
be enjoyed by thyself nor by another."
PHIL. I know, indeed, that so it usually is: but, my son,
he is the truly niggardly man³ that has nought with which
to pay his dues.
Lrs. By the care of the Gods, we have, father, both
enough for us to enjoy ourselves, and with which to do kind
offices to kind-hearted men.
¹ By just as many letters)—Ver. 345. Commentators differ as to the meaning of
this passage, which is somewhat obscure. Philto seems to say that shame before
doing an unwise action is every way preferable to repentance after having done it;
preferable, indeed, by each individual letter it is composed of, or, as we should
say in common parlance, "every inch of it."
2 Niggardly citizen)—Ver. 350. "Immunis" means one that does not bear his
share in the taxes and tribute of the state, or, in other words, pay his scot and lot.
Hence, with an extended signification, it means one that will not out of his abun-
dance assist the distress of others, and who is, consequently, a niggardly and
covetous person.
³ Truly niggardly man)—Ver. 354. Philto here alludes to the primary meaning
of the word "immunis ;" and hints that it may oe more properly applied to Lesbo-
nicus, who has reduced himself to poverty by his extravagance, than to himself;
inasmuch as he is now perforce immunis," not having wherewithal to pay the
public dues and taxes.
c 2
20
Act II.
TRINUMMUS;
PHIL. Troth, I am not able to refuse you anything that
you ask of me. Whose poverty do you wish to relieve?
Speak out boldly to your father.
Lys. That of this young man Lesbonicus, the son of
Charmides, who lives there. (He points to the house of
CHARMIDES.)
PHIL. Why, hasn't he devoured both what he had, and
what he had not¹?
Lys. Censure him not, my father: many things happen
to a man which he likes, many, too, which he does not like.
PHIL. Troth, you say falsely, son; and you are doing so
now not according to your usual wont. For the prudent
man, i' faith, really frames his own fortunes for himself: many
things, therefore, do not happen which he does not like, unless
he is a bungling workman.
Lys. Much labour is requisite for this workmanship in him
who seeks to be a clever workman in fashioning his life-
but he is still very young.
PHIL. Not by years but by disposition is wisdom acquired.
Age is the relish of wisdom-wisdom is the nutriment of
old age. However, come, say what you wish now to give
him.
Lys. Nothing at all, father. Do you only not hinder me
from accepting it if he should give anything to me.
PHIL. And will you be relieving his poverty by that, if you
shall accept anything of him?
Lys. By that very means, my father.
PHIL. Faith, I wish that you would instruct me in that
method.
Lys. Certainly. Do you know of what family he is
born?
PHIL. I know of an extremely honourable one.
Lys. He has a sister—a fine young woman now grown up:
I wish, father, to take her without a portion for my wife.
PHIL. A wife without a portion ?
Lys. Just so your riches saved as well. By these means
you will be conferring an extreme favour on him, and in no
way could you help him to greater advantage.
PHIL. Am I to suffer you to take a wife without a portion?
• What he had not)—Ver. 360. That is, by the dishonest expedient of running
into debt for it.
Sc. III.
21
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
Lys. You must suffer it, father; and by these means you
will be giving an estimable character to our family.
PHIL. I could give utterance to many a learned saying,
and very fluently too: this old age of mine retains stories
of old and ancient times. But, since I see that you are
courting friendship and esteem for our family, although I
have been opposed to you, I thus give my decision-I will
permit you; ask for the girl, and marry her.
Lys. May the Gods preserve you to me. But, to this
favour add one thing.
PHIL. But what is this one thing?
Lys. I will tell you. Do you go to him, do you solicit
him, and do you ask for her yourself.
PHIL. Think of that now.
Lys. You will transact it much more speedily: all will be
made sure of that you do. One word of yours in this matter
will be of more consequence than a hundred of mine.
PHIL. See, now, how, in my kindness, I have undertaken
this matter. My assistance shall be given.
Lys. You really are a kind father. This is the house;
here he dwells. (He points to the house of CHARMIDES.)
Lesbonicus is his name. Mind and attend to the business;
I will await you at home.
(Exit.
SCENE III.
PHILтo, alone.
PHIL. These things are not for the best, nor as I think
they ought to be; but still, they are better than that which is
downright bad. But this one circumstance consoles myself
and my thoughts—namely, that he who counsels in respect
to a son nothing else but that which pleases himself alone,
only plays the fool; he becomes wretched in mind, and yet he
is no nearer bringing it about. He is preparing a very incle-
ment winter for his own old age when he arouses that unsea-
sonable storm. (The door of the house of CHARMIDES opens.)
But the house is opened to which I was going; most conve-
niently, Lesbonicus himself is coming out of doors with his
servant. (PHILTO retires to a distance.)
22
Act II.
TRINUMMUS;
SCENE IV.
Enter LESBONICUS and STASIMUS.
LESB. 'Tis less than fifteen days since you received from
Callicles forty minæ for this house; is it not as I say, Sta-
simus ?
STAS. When I consider, I think I remember that it
Was so.
LESB. What has been done with it?
STAS. It has been eaten and drunk up-spent away in
unguents, washed away in baths. The fishmonger and the
baker have carried it off: butchers, too, and cooks, green-
grocers, perfumers, and poulterers; 'twas quickly consumed.
I' faith! that money was made away with not less speedily
than if you were to throw a poppy among the ants.
LESB. By my troth, less has been spent on those items
than six minæ ?
STAS. Besides, what have you given to your mistresses?
LESB. That I am including as well in it.
STAS. Besides, what have I pilfered of it?
LESB. Aye, that item is a very heavy one.
STAS. That cannot so appear to you, if you make all due
deductions?, unless you think that your money is everlasting.
(Aside.) Too late and unwisely, a caution that should have
been used before,-after he has devoured his substance, he
reckons up the account too late.
LESB. The account, however, of this money is by no means
clear.
STAS. I' faith, the account is very clear: the money's
gone³. Did you not receive forty minæ from Callicles, and
did he not receive from you the house in possession?
1 Washed away in baths)—Ver. 409. This will probably refer, not to the money
paid for mere bathing at the public baths, which was a "quadrans," the smallest
Roman coin, but to the expense of erecting private baths, which generally formed
a portion of the luxuries of a Roman house. The public bathis, however, may have
possibly been the scene of much profligacy, and have afforded to the reckless and
dissipated ample opportunities for squandering their money. That this may have
been the fact, is rendered the more likely when we consider the equivocal sig-
nification of the word "bagnio."
2 Make all due deductions)—Ver. 414. "Si sumas." Literally, "if you subtract.”
* The money's gone)-Ver. 419. Instead of a Latin word, the Greek oïxeras
Sc. IV.
23
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
LESB. Very good.
PHILTO (aside). Troth, I think our neighbour has sold
his house¹. When his father shall come from abroad, his
place is in the beggar's gate, unless, perchance, he should
creep into his son's stomach³.
STAS. There were a thousand Olympic drachmæ¹ paid to
the banker, which you were owing upon account.
is introduced, which means "is gone," or "has vanished." Greek terms were
current at Rome, just as French words and sentences are imported into our lan-
guage; indeed, the fashions of Rome were very generally set by the Greeks.
¹ Has sold his house)-Ver. 422. He feels satisfied now that Lysiteles has been
correctly informed, and that Lesbonicus really is in difficulties.
2 The beggar's gate)-Ver. 423. He probably alludes to the "Porta Trigemina“
at Rome, which was upon the road to Ostia. It received its name from the three
twin-born brothers, the Horatii, who passed beneath it when going to fight the
Curiatii. This, being one of the largest and most frequented roads in Rome, was
especially the resort of mendicants; among whom, in the opinion of Philto, the
father of Lesbonicus will have to take his place. Some Commentators would read
"ponte" instead of "portâ," and they think that the allusion is to the Sublician
bridge at Rome, where we learn from Seneca and Juvenal that the beggars used to
sit and ask alms.
3 His son's stomach)-Ver. 424. He satirically alludes to the reckless conduci
of Lesbonicus, who has spent everything to satisfy his love for eating, drinking,
and debauchery.
4 Olympic drachmæ)—Ver. 425. As already mentioned, the "drachma" was
about ninepence three-farthings in value. As one hundred made a mina," one.
fourth of the price received for the house would go to satisfy the banker's claim.
5 To the banker)-Ver. 426. The "Trapezite" were the same as the "Argen
tarii" at Rome, who were bankers and money-changers on their own account, while
the "Mensarii” transacted business on behalf of the state. Their shops, or offices,
were situate around the Forum, and were public property. Their principal business
was the exchange of Roman for foreign coin, and the keeping of sums of money for
other persons, which were deposited with or without interest, according to agree-
ment. They acted as agents for the sale of estates, and a part of their duty was
to test the genuineness of coin, and, in later times, to circulate it from the mint
among the people. Lending money at a profit was also part of their business. It
s supposed that among the Romans there was a higher and a lower class of ar-
gentarii." The more respectable of them probably held the position of the banker
of modern times; while those who did business on a paltry scale, or degraded
themselves by usury, were not held in any esteem. Their shops, being public pro-
perty, were built under the inspection of the Censors, and by them were let to the
"argentarii." Trapezitæ," as they are here called, was properly the Greek
name for these persons, who were so styled from the rрañeα, or "table," at
which they sat. All will remember the "tables of the money-changers" men-
tioned in the New Testament. The "mensarii" were employed to lend out the
public money to borrowers at interest.
46
24
Act II.
TRINUMMUS;
LESB. Those, I suppose, that I was security for ?
STAS. Say, rather, "Those that I paid down"—for that
young man whom you used to say³ was so rich.
LESB. It was so done.
STAS. Yes, just to be squandered away.
LESB. That was done as well. But I saw him in a pitiable
state, and I did have pity on him.
STAS. You have pity on others, and you have neither pity
nor shame for yourself.
PHIL. (aside). 'Tis time to accost him.
LESB. Is this Philto that is coming here? Troth, 'tis he
himself.
STAS. I' faith, I could wish he was my slave, together
with his savings.
PHIL. Philto right heartily wishes health to both master
and servant, Lesbonicus and Stasimus.
LESB. May the Gods give you, Philto, whatever you may
wish for. How is your son?
PHIL. He wishes well to you.
LESB. In good sooth, he does for me what I do for him in
return!
STAS. (aside). That phrase, “He wishes well," is worth-
less, unless a person does well too. I, too, "wish" to be a
free man; I wish in vain. He, perhaps, might wish to become
frugal; he would wish to no purpose.
PHIL. My son has sent me to you to propose an alliance
and bond of friendship between himself and your family. He
¹ I was security for)—Ver. 427. "Spondeo," "I promise," was a term useć
on many occasions among the Remans, derived from the Greek σπevdóμai, “tc
pour out a libation;" the usual mode of ratifying a treaty. Among others, it was
pronounced by a person when he became security that another should repay
money, as Lesbonicus, to his misfortune, had done in the present instance.
2 Say, rather)--Ver. 427. Stasimus will not allow his master to mince the
matter in the slightest degree. "Don't say 'I was security for it,' but 'I
paid it down.'
3. You used to say)—Ver. 428. He probably alludes to some former occasion, on
which his master, having been duped into the be'ief, was telling him of the extra-
ordinary wealth of his new acquaintance.
4 With his savings)-Ver. 434. "Peculium" was the property amassed by a
slave out of his savings, which he was permitted to keep as his own. According
to the strictness of the law, the "peculium" was the property of the master
Sometimes it was agreed that the slave should purchase his freedom with his
peculium" when it amounted to a certain sum.
Sc. IV.
25
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
wishes to take your sister for his wife; and I have the same
feelings, and I desire it.
LESB. I really don't understand your ways; amid your
prosperity you are laughing at my adversity.
PHIL. I am a man¹: you are a man. So may Jupiter love
me, I have neither come to laugh at you, nor do I think
you deserving of it! But as to what I said, my son begged
me to ask for your sister as his wife.
LESB. It is right that I should know the state of my own
circumstances. My position is not on an equal footing with
yours; seek some other alliance for yourselves.
STAS. (to LESBONICUS). Are you really sound in mind or
intellect to refuse this proposal? For I perceive that he has
been found for you a very friend in need³.
LESB. Get away hence, and go hang yourself.
STAS. Faith, if I should commence to go, you would be
forbidding met.
LESB. Unless you want me, Philto, for anything else, I
have given you my answer.
PHIL. I trust, Lesbonicus, that you will one day be more
obliging to me than I now find you to be. For both to act5
unwisely and to talk unwisely, Lesbonicus, are sometimes
neither of them profitable.
› I am a man)-Ver. 447. This is somewhat like the celebrated line in Terence:
"Homo sum, humani nihil alienum a me pute,"
"I am a man, nothing that is human do I think unbecoming to me.
2 Friend in need)—Ver. 456. " Ferentarius." The "ferentarii" were the light-
`armed troops, who, being unencumbered with heavy armour, were ready to come
immediately and opportunely to the assistance of those who were in danger of
being overpowered by the army. The word is here used figuratively, to signify
a friend in need.'
3 And go hang yourself)—Ver. 457. The word dierecte" is supposed to come
from an obsolete verb, “dierigo," "to extend out on both sides," and to allude to a
punishment inflicted upon slaves, when they were fastened to a stake in the
ground, with the arms and legs extended. Applied to a slave, it would be an
upprobrious expression, equivalent to "go and be hanged."
↑ Be forbidding me)—Ver. 457. He means, that if he should take his master at
his word and go away, he would be the first to stop him.
5 Both to act)—Ver. 461-2. The exact meaning of these lines is somewhat ch.
Thornton's translation is:
Pcure.
Or in word
Or deed to play the trifler would ill suit
Que of my years.
26
Act IL
TRINUMMUS ;
STAS. Troth, he says what's true.
LESB. I will tear out your eye if you add one word.
STAS. Troth, but I will talk; for if I may not be allowed
to do so as I am, then I will submit to be called the one-eyed
man¹.
PHIL. Do you now say this, that your position and means
are not on an equal footing with ours?
LESB. I do say so.
PHIL. Well, suppose, now, you were to come to a building
to a public banquet, and a wealthy man by chance were to
come there as your neighbour. The banquet is set on table,
one that they style a public ones. Suppose that dainties were
heaped up before him by his dependents, and suppose any.
thing pleased you that was so heaped up before him, would
you eat, or would you keep your place next to this wealthy
man, going without your dinner?
LESB. I should eat, unless he were to forbid me doing so.
STAS. But I, by my faith, even if he were to forbid me,
would eat and cram with both cheeks stuffed out; and what
pleased him, that, in especial, would I lay hold of beforehand;
nor would I yield to him one jot of my very existence. At
table it befits no one to be bashful; for there the decision
is about things both divine and human.
¹ The one-eyed man)—Ver. 465. He means that he is determined to speak out at
all risks, even if his master should be as good as his word, and tear his eye out.
2 As your neighbour)-Ver. 469. "Par" here means a close neighbour, as re-
clining next to him on the same " triclinium," or "couch," at the entertainment.
& Style a public one)-Ver. 470. It is not certain what kind of public banquets
are here referred to. Public entertainments were given to the people on the 00-
casion of any public rejoicing: such, for instance, as a triumph, as we learn from
Suetonius in his life of Julius Cæsar. They were also given when the tenths were
paid to Hercules. The clients, also, of the Patricians were in the habit of giving
entertainments to their patrons on festival days, when each client contributed his
share in kind; and numerous invitations were given, abundance and hospitality
being the order of the day. Sometimes these feasts were held in a temple, and
perhaps they are here referred to. There were also frequent entertainments.
in the Curiæ," or "Court-houses" of Rome, at which the "curiales," or men of
the "curia," or "ward," met together.
♦ There the decision)-Ver. 479. Scaliger supposes that Stasimus is making a
parody on the transaction of business by the Senate, who were said "to give their
decisions on matters sacred and human ;" and that he means to say that the feast
is his Senate-house, and the food are the things sacred and human which he 9
be and to discuss, without respect for anybody.
Se. IV.
27
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
PHIL. You say what is the fact.
STAS. I will tell you without any subterfuge: I would
make place for him on the highway, on the footpath, in the
canvass for public honors; but as to what concerns the
stomach-by my troth, not this much (shows the breadth of
his finger-nail), unless he should first have thrashed me with
his fists. With provisions at the present prices, a feast is
a fortune without incumbrances¹.
PHIL. Always, Lesbonicus, do you take care and think
this, that that is the best, according as you yourself are the
most deserving: if that you cannot attain to, at least be as
near as possible to the most deserving. And now, Lesboni-
cus, I wish you to grant and accept these terms which 1
propose, and which I ask of you. The Gods are rich; wealth
and station befit the Gods: but we poor mortal beings are,
as it were, the salt-cellar2 for the salt of life. The moment
that we have breathed forth this, the beggar is held of
equal value at Acherons with the most wealthy man when
dead.
STAS. (aside). It will be a wonder if you don't carry your
riches there with you. When you are dead, you may, perhaps,
be as good as your name imports +.
PHIL. Now, that you may understand that position and
1 Without incumbrances)-Ver. 484. Every Roman family of consequence was
bound to perform particular sacrifices, which were not only ordained by the pon-
tifical laws, but the obligation was also rendered hereditary by the civil law, and
ordered to be observed by the law of the Twelve Tables: "Sacra privata perpetua
manento," "Let private sacrifices remain perpetual." This law is quoted and
commented upon by Cicero in his Second Book on the Laws. He there tells us
that "heirs are obliged to continue their sacrifices, be they ever so expensive; and
for this reason, as by the above law these sacrifices were to be maintained, no one
was presumed to be better able to supply the place of the deceased person than
his heir "
A property exempt from this necessity, might be truly said to be one
without incumbrances.
2 The salt-cellar)-Ver. 492. By this expression, Plautus seems to mean that life
is to the body as salt is to flesh; it preserves it from corruption.
3 At Acheron)-Ver. 494 Acheron was a river of the Brutii in Campania. There
was another river of this name in Epirus. The word usually denotes one of the
rivers of Hell; here it means the Infernal regions themselves.
4
¹ As your name imports)—Ver. 496. The meaning of Stasimus is-" Perhaps
when you are dead, in leaving your property to another, you may really prove
yourself the amiable man your name would bespeak you to be;" Philto being
derived from the Greek piλéw, “to love.”
28
Act II.
TRINUMMUS;
means have no place here, and that we do not undervalue
your alliance; I ask for your sister without a marriage-
portion. May the matter turn out happily. Do I under-
stand her to be promised? Why are you silent?
}
STAS. O immortal Gods, what a proposal!
PHIL. Why don't you say, "May the Gods prosper it.
I agree¹ ?"
STAS. (aside). Alas! when there was no advantage in the
expression, he used to say, "I agree;" now, when there is ad-
vantage in it, he is not able to say so.
LESB. Since you think me, Philto, worthy of an alliance
with you, I return you many thanks. But though this
fortune of mine has sadly diminished through my folly, I have,
Philto, a piece of land near the city here; that I will give as
a portion to my sister: for, after all my follies, that alone,
besides my existence, is left me.
PHIL. Really I care nothing at all about a portion.
LESB. I am determined to give her one.
STAS. (whispers to LESBONICUS). And are you ready,
master, to sever that nurse from us which is supporting us?
Take care how you do it. What are we ourselves to eat in
future?
LESB. (to STASIMUS). Once more, will you hold your
tongue? Am I to be rendered accountable to you?
STAS. (aside). We are evidently done for, unless I devise
something or other. Philto, I want you.
Philto, I want you. (He removes to a
distance, and beckons to PHILTO.)
PHIL. If you wish anght, Stasimus.
STAS. Step a little this way.
PHIL. By all means.
STAS. I tell you this in secrecy, that neither he nor any
one else may learn it of
you.
PHIL. Trust me boldly with anything you please.
¹ I agree)—Ver. 502. "Spondeo" was a word in general use to denote that the
person entered into a promise or engagement. Being the nearest ma.e relation of
the damsel, Philto wishes Lesbonicus to close the matter by saying "spondeo,"
"I agree to betroth her," which he hesitates to do; on which, Stasimus, alluding
to his having been the security for the thousand drachmæ, tells him that he had
been ready enough to say "spondeo" when it was not to his advantage; namely,
at the time when he said "spondeo," "I promise," and became the security to
the banker for his friend. See Note 1 in page 24.
Sc. IV.
29
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
STAS. By Gods and men I warn you, not to
of land ever to become yours or your son's.
reasons for this matter.
PHIL. Troth, I should like to hear them.
allow that piece
I'll tell you my
STAS. First of all then, when at any time the ground is
being ploughed, in every fifth furrow the oxen die.
PHIL. Preserve me from it.
Then
STAS. The gate of Acheron is in that land of ours.
the grapes, before they are ripe, hang in a putrid state.
LESB. (in a low voice). He is persuading the man to some-
thing, I think. Although he is a rogue, still he is not un-
faithful to me.
STAS. Hear the rest. Besides that, when elsewhere the
harvest of wheat is most abundant, there it comes up less by
one-fourth than what you have sowed.
PHIL. Ah! bad habits ought to be sown on that spot, if in
the sowing they can be killed.
STAS. And never is there any person to whom that piece
of land belongs, but that his affairs turn out most unfor-
tunate. Of those to whom it has belonged, some have gone
away in banishment; some are dead outright; some, again,
have hanged themselves. See this man, now, to whom it
belongs, how he has been brought to a regular backgammoned
statel.
PHIL. Preserve me from this piece of land.
STAS. “Preserve me from it," you would say still more, if
you were to hear everything from me. For there every other
tree has been blasted with lightning; the hogs die there
most shockingly of inflammation in the throat; the sheep
are scabby, as bare of all wool, see, as is this hand of mine.
And then, besides, there is not one of the Syrian natives,
¹ Backgammoned state)—Ver. 837. "Ad incitas redactus, "brought to a stand-
still," was a term borrowed from the game of "Duodecim Scripta," or "twelve
points," and was applied when one of the parties got all his men on the twelfth
point, and, being able to move no further, lost the game in consequence. Probably
the game partook of the nature of both backgammon and chess.
2 The hogs die)-Ver. 540. From Pliny the Elder we learn that "angina," or
swelling of the throat, was a common distemper among hogs.
8 The Syrian natives)—Ver. 542. He makes mention of the Syrians, because.
living in a hot climate, they would be most likely to be able to endure extreme heat
30
Act II
TRINUMMUS;
a race which is the most hardy of men, who could exist there
for six months; so surely do all die there of the solstitial
fever¹.
PHIL. I believe, Stasimus2, that it is so; but the Campa-
nian³ race much outdoes that of the Syrians in hardiness.
But, really, that piece of land, as I have heard you describe
it, is one to which it were proper for all wicked men to be
sent for the public good. Just as they tell of the Islands of
the Blest, where all meet together who have passed their lives
uprightly: on the other hand, it seems proper that all evil-
doers should be packed off there, since it is a place of such a
character.
STAS. 'Tis a very receptacle of calamity. What need is
there of many words? Look for any bad thing whatsoever,
there you may find it.
PHIL. But, i' faith, you may find it there and elsewhere
too.
STAS. Please, take care not to say that I told you of this.
PHIL. You have told it me in perfect secrecy.
STAS. For he, indeed (pointing at LESBONICUs), wishes it
to be got rid of from himself, if he can find any one to im-
pose upon about it.
4
PHIL. I' faith, this land shall never become my property.
STAS. Aye, if you keep in your senses. (Aside.) I' faith,
I have cleverly frightened the old fellow away from this
land; for, if my master had parted with it, there is nothing
for us to live upon.
The solstitial fever)—Ver. 544. He seems to mean, that if a person went to
live there at the beginning of the year, he could not possibly live there beyond
six months, being sure to die of fever at the time of the Solstice, or Midsummer.
2 I believe, Stasimus)-Ver. 545. Philto only says so for peace sake, as no man
in his senses was likely to believe a word of it. As he does not want the piece
of land for his son, he wishes to make no words about it.
³ But the Campanian)—Vcr. 545. He just makes this remark casually, probably
to show Stasimus that he knows about things in general as well as he docs. Some
think, however, that he intends to correct Stasimus, and to tell him that even the
Campanians, who were considered an effeminate race, could boast of more hard-
hood than the Syrians.
♦ To impose upon)-Ver. 558. "Os quoi sublinat"-literally, "can besmear his
face." This expression allades to the practical joke of making a fool of a person
by painting his face while he is asleep.
5 I have cleverly frightened)-Ver. 560. As before remarked, he is probably
much mis aken in thinking so.
Sc. IV.
31
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
PHIL. Lesbonicus, I now return to you.
LESB. Tell me, if you please, what has he been saying to
you?
PHIL. What do you suppose? He is a man¹; he wishes
to become a free man, but he has not the money to give.
LESB. And I wish to be rich, but all in vain.
STAS. (aside). You might have been, if you had chosen;
now, since you have nothing, you cannot be.
LESB. What are you talking about to yourself, Stasimus ?
STAS. About that which you were saying just now: if you
had chosen formerly, you might have been rich; now you
are wishing too late.
PHIL. No terms can be come to with me about the mar-
riage-portion; whatever pleases you, do you transact it your-
self with my son. Now, I ask for your sister for my son;
and may the matter turn out well. What now? are you still
considering?
LESB. What about that matter? Since you will have it
so-may the Gods prosper it-I promise her.
PHIL. Never, by my troth, was a son born so ardently
longed for by any one, as was that expression "I promise
her," when born for me.
STAS. The Gods will prosper all your plans.
PHIL. So I wish. Come this way with me, Lesbonicus,
that a day may be agreed on for the nuptials, in the presence
of Lysiteles: this agreement we will ratify on that same day.
(Exit PHILTO.
LESB. Now, Stasimus, go you there (points to the house
which he has sold to CALLICLES) to the house of Callicles,
to my sister; tell her how this matter has been arranged.
STAS. I will go. LESB. And congratulate my sister.
STAS. Very well. LESB. Tell Callicles to meet me
STAS. But rather do you go now
LESB. That he may see what is necessary to be done about
the portion.
STAS. Do go now. LESB. For I have determined not to
give her without a portion.
STAS. But rather do you go now.
LESB. And I will never
allow it to be a detriment to her by reason of
STAS. Do be off now. LESB. My recklessness
1 He is a man)-Ver. 563. His meaning seems to be, "he is a man,
with feelings like ourselves, and naturally wishes for his freedom."
32
Act III
TRINUMMUS
STAS. Du go now¹. LESB. It seems by no means just,
but that, since I have done wrong.
STAS. Do go now.
to myself.
STAS. Do go now.
see you again?
STAS. Do go 110w.
LESB. I am going.
LESB. It should be chiefly a detriment
LESB. O my father! and shal I ever
Go-go now.
Do you take care of that which I
have asked you. I shall be here directly.
SCENE V.
STASIMUS.
(Exit LESBONICUS.
STAS. At length I have prevailed on him to go. In the
name of the immortal Gods, i' faith, 'tis a matter well ma-
naged by wrongful means of performance, inasmuch as our
piece of land is safe; although even now 'tis still a very
doubtful matter what may be the result of this affair. But,
if the land is parted with, 'tis all over with my neck; I must
carry a buckler in foreign lands, a helmet too, and my bag-
gage. He will be running away from the city when the
nuptials have been celebrated; he will be going hence to
extreme and utter ruin, somewhere or other, to serve as a
soldier, either to Asia or to Cilicia³. I will go there (looking
at the door of the house bought by CALLICLES), where he has
ordered me to go, although I detest this house ever since he
has driven us out of our abode.
(Exit into the house of CHARMIDES.
ACT THE THIRD.
SCENE I.
Enter CALLICLES and STASIMUS.
CALL. To what effect were you speaking about this, Sta-
simus ?
1 Do go now)-Ver. 586. Stasimus is continually urging him to follow Philto,
and bring the matter to a conclusion, as he fears that so good an opportunity may
be lost through his master's habitual carelessness, especially as Philto has agreed
not to receive the land as a marriage-portion.
2 'Tis all over)-Ver. 595. He means that he will no longer have any support
from his master, and that he will have to turn soldier, and so earn his livelihood.
3 Avia or to Cilicia)-Ver. 599. Alluding, probably to the wars which were con
Sc. I.
33
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
STAS. That Lesbonicus, the son of my master, has betrothed
his sister; in those terms.
too.
CALL. To what person has be betrothed her?
STAS. To Lysiteles, the son of Philto; without a portion,
CALL. Without a portion, will he marry her into a family
so rich¹? You are telling me a thing not to be credited.
STAS. Why, faith, you would be for never believing. If
you don't believe this, at all events I shall be believing-
CALL. What? STAS. That I don't care a fig for your
belief.
CALL. How long since, or where, was this matter agreed
to ?
STAS. On this very spot-here, before his door (pointing
to PHILTO's house). This moment-like², as the man of Præ
neste says.
CALL. And has Lesbonicus, amid his ruined fortunes, be-
come so much more frugal than in his prosperous circum-
stances ?
STAS. Why, in fact, Philto himself came of his own accord
to make the offer for his son.
CALL. (aside.) By my troth, it really will be a disgrace, if
a portion is not given to the maiden. In fine, I think, i'
faith, that that matter concerns myself. I will go to my
corrector, and will ask advice of him.
(Exit.
STAS. I pretty nearly guess, and I have a strong suspicion,
why he makes such speed on this: namely, that he may turn
Lesbonicus out of his bit of land, after he has turned him
out of his house. O Charmides, my master! since your pro-
perty here is being torn to pieces in your absence, I wish I
tinually occurring between the Greeks and the Persian monarchs, or else to the
custom of hiring themselves out as mercenary soldiers, as Xenophon and the ten
thousand did to the younger Cyrus.
1 Into a family so rich)-Ver. 605. "In tantas divitias," literally, "into so
great wealth."
This moment-like)-Ver. 609. "Tammodo," He is joking upon the patois
of the people of Præneste, who said "tammodo," instead of "modo,” this
instant," or "just now." Festus also alludes to this expression, as used by the
Prænestines. In the Truculentus, act iii., sc. 2, 1. 23, he again takes them off for
cutting"Ciconia" down to "Conia." Præneste was a town of Latin, not far
from Rome. Its present name is Palestrina.
D
34
Act III.
TRINUMMUS ;
could see you return safe, that you might both take vengeance
on your enemies, and give the reward to me according as I
have behaved, and do behave towards you. 'Tis an ex-
tremely difficult thing for a friend to be found really such as
the name imports, to whom, when you have entrusted your
interests, you may sleep without any care.
But lo! I per-
ceive our son-in-law coming, together with his neighbour.
Something-what, I know not is wrong between them.
They are walking, each with a hasty step; the one is catch-
ing the other that is before him by the cloak. They have
come to a stop in no very courteous fashion. I'll step aside
here a little distance. I have a wish to hear the conversation
of these two that are to be connected by marriage. (He
retires to a distance.)
SCENE II.
Enter LYSITELES and LESBONICUS.
Lys. Stay, this moment; don't turn away, and don't hide
yourself from me. (He catches hold of his cloak.)
LESB. (shaking him off). Can't you allow me to go
whither I was proceeding?
LYS. If, Lesbonicus, it seems to be to your interest, either
for your glory or for your honour, I will let you go.
LESB. You are doing a thing that it is very easy to do.
Lys. What is that? LESB. An injury to a friend.
Lys. It is no way of mine, and I have not learned so to
do.
LESB. Untaught as you are, how cleverly you do it. What
would you have done, if any one had taught you to be thus
annoying to me? You, who, when you pretend to be acting
kindly to me, use me ill, and are intending evil.
LYS. What!-I? LESB. Yes-you.
Lys. How do I use you ill?
LESB. Inasmuch as you do that which I do not wish.
Lys. I wish to consult your advantage.
LESB. Are you kinder to me than I am to myself? I
• Our son-in-law)-Ver. 622. He means Lysiteles, the contemplated son-in-
baw of his master Charmides, whom he has just been apostrophising.
Sc. II.
35
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
have sense enough; I see sufficiently well those things that
are for my own advantage.
Lys. And is it having sense enough to refuse a kindness
from a well-wisher?
LESB. I reckon it to be no kindness, when it does not
please him on whom you are conferring it. I know, and I
understand myself what I am doing, and my mind forsakes
not its duty; nor will I be driven by your speeches from
paying due regard to my own character.
Lys. What do you say? For now I cannot be restrained
from saying to you the things which you deserve. Have
your forefathers, I pray, so handed down this reputation to
you, that you, by your excesses, might lose what before was
gained by their merit, and that you might become a bar to
the honour of your own posterity? Your father and your
grandfather made an easy and a level path for you to attain to
honour; whereas you have made it to become a difficult one,
by your extreme recklessness and sloth, and your besotted
ways. You have made your election, to prefer your passions
to virtue. Now, do you suppose that you can cover over
your faults by these means? Alas! 'tis impossible. Wel-
come virtue to your mind, if you please, and expel slothful-
ness from your heart. Give your attention to your he-
friends in the Courts of justice¹, and not to the couch of
your she-friend, as you are wont to do. And earnestly do I
now wish this piece of land to be left to you for this reason,
that you may have wherewithal to reform yourself; so that
those citizens, whom you have for enemies, may not be able
altogether to throw your poverty in your teeth.
LESB. All these things which you have been saying, I
know-could even set my seal to them: how I have spoiled
my patrimonial estate and the fair fame of my forefathers. I
knew how it became me to live; to my misfortune I was not
able to act accordingly. Thus, overpowered by the force of
passion, inclined to ease, I fell into the snare; and now to
you, quite as you deserve, I do return most hearty thanks.
1 In the Courts of justice)-Ver. 651. It was the custom of the young men of
the Patrician class among the Romans to plead gratuitously for their friends and
clients, in the Forum or Court of justice.
2 Set my seal)—Ver. 655. Affixing the seal to an instrument was tuen, as now
the most solemn way of ratifying it.
J 2
36
Act III.
TRINUMMUS :
Lys. Still, I cannot suffer my labour to be thus lost, and
yourself to despise these words; at the same time, it grieves
me that you have so little shame. And, in fine, unless you
listen to me, and do this that I mention, you yourself will
easily lie concealed behind your own self, so that honour
cannot find you; when you will wish yourself to be especially
distinguished, you will be lying in obscurity. I know right
well, for my part, Lesbonicus, your highly ingenuous dispo-
sition; I know that of your own accord you have not done
wrong, but that it is Love that has blinded your heart; and I
myself comprehend all the ways of Love. As the charge of
the balista¹ is hurled, so is Love; nothing is there so swift, or
that so swiftly flies; he, too, makes the manners of men
both foolish and froward2. That which is the most com-
mended pleases him the least³; that from which he is dissuaded
pleases him. When there is a scarcity, then you long for a
thing; when there is an abundance of it, then you don't care
for it. The person that warns him off from a thing, the
same invites him; he that persuades him to it interdicts him.
'Tis a misfortune of insanity for you to fly to Cupid for
refuge. But I advise you again and again to think of this,
how you should seek to act. If you attempt to do ac-
cording as you are now showing signs4, you will cause the
1 Charge of the balista)-Ver. 668. The word "balista" here signifies the
charge of the military engine known as the "balista." It was used by the an-
cients for the purpose of discharging stones against the higher part of the walls
of besieged places, while the "catapulta" was directed against the lower. The
charge of the "balista" varied from two pounds to three hundred-weight.
2 Foolish and froward)—Ver. 669. "Moros." This word is derived from the
Greek μwpòs, "foolish." It seems to be used in juxtaposition with "morosos,"
for the sake of the alliteration.
3 Pleases him the least)-Ver. 670. So Shakspeare alludes to the contradictory
nature of love in Romeo and Juliet:
"Love-heavy lightness! serious vanity!
Misshapen chaos of well-seeming forms."
• Are now showing signs)-Ver. 675. The meaning of this passage extremely
obscure. Perhaps, however, it is this, "If you persist in your extravagance, and
are resolved to part with this land, the very last of your possessions, you wil
prove the conflagration and ruin of your family. Then you will be seeking a
remedy-water with which to quench it. When you have got this remedy, as
you cleverly suppose, in geing abroad to fight and earn glory, you will ply it with
•nch zeal, that you will overdo it, and, in getting killed yourself, will thereby
quench the last spark on which the very existence of your house depended." On
Sc. 11.
37
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
conflagration of your family; and then, in consequence, you
will have a desire for water with which to quench this con-
flagration of your family. And if you should obtain it, just
as lovers are subtle in their devices, you will not leave even
one spark with which your family may brighten up.
LESB. 'Tis easy to be found: fire is granted, even though
you should ask it of a foe. But you, by your reproof, are
urging me from my faults to a viler course.
You are per-
suading me to give you my sister without a portion. But it
does not become me, who have misused so great a patrimony,
to be still in affluent circumstances, and to be possessing
land, but her to be in want, so as with good reason to detest
Never will he be respected by others who makes him-
self despised by his own relatives. As I said, I will do; I do
not wish you to be in doubt any longer.
me.
Lys. And is it so much preferable that for your sister's
sake you should incur poverty, and that I should possess that
piece of land rather than yourself, who ought to be upholding
your own walls?
LESB. I do not wish you so much to have regard to myself,
in order that you ma relieve my poverty, as that in my
neediness I may not become disgraced: that people may not
spread about this report of me, that I gave my own sister
without a portion to you, rather in concubinagel than in
marriage. Who would be said to be more dishonorable than
I? The spreading of this report might do credit to you, but
it would defile me, if you were to marry her without a por-
tion. For you it would be a gain of reputation, for me it
would be something for people to throw in my teeth.
Lys. Why so? Do you suppose2 that you will become
Dictator if I accept the land of you?
this Lesbonicus says, though not carrying on the metaphor in the same sense, "I
will find means, even amid the enemy, to render my name illustrious, for there
the fire may be found which is to keep my family from becoming extinguished.”
¹ Rather in concubinage)—Ver. 690. His pride is hurt at the idea of his sister
being married without a portion, and thereby losing one of the distinctive marks
between a wife and a mistress. It was considered a disgraceful thing for a female
to be given in marriage without a portion, however small.
2 Do you suppose)-Ver. 695. Lysiteles says, satirically, and rather unkindly, ✿
would seem, “What, do you suppose that, if I accept this piece of land of you
you will attain the Dictatorship as the reward of your high spirit?' The Dio
tatorship, was the highest honour in the Roman Republic.
38
Act Ill
TRINUMMUS;
LESB. I neither wish, nor require, nor do I think so; but
still, to be mindful of his duty, is true honour to an upright
man.
Lrs. For my part, I know you, how you are disposed in
mind; I see it, I discover it, I apprehend. You are doing
this, that when you have formed an alliance between us, and
when you have given up this piece of land, and have nothing
here with which to support life, in beggary you may fly from
the city, in exile you may desert your country, your kin-
dred, your connexions, your friends, the nuptials once over.
People would suppose that you were frightened hence by my
means, and through my cupidity. Do not fancy in your mind
that I will act so as to allow that to happen.
STAS. (advancing). Well, I cannot but exclaim, "Well
done, well done, Lysiteles, encorel." Easily do you win the
victory; the other is conquered: your performance is supe-
rior. This one (pointing to LySITELES) acts better in charac-
ter, and composes better lines. By reason of your folly do
you still dispute it? Stand in awe of the fine.
LESB. What means this interruption of yours, or your in-
trusion here upon our conversation?
STAS. The same way that I came here I'll get me gone.
LESB. Step this way home with me, Lysiteles; there we
will talk at length about these matters.
Lys. I am not in the habit of doing anything in secret.
Just as my feelings are I will speak out. If your sister, as I
think it right, is thus given to me in marriage without a por-
tion, and if you are not about to go away hence, that which
shall be mine, the same shall be yours. But if you are minded
otherwise, may that which you do turn out for you for the
best. I will never be your friend on any other terms; such
is my determination.
(Exit LESBONICUS, followed by LYSITELES.
¹ Encore)-Ver. 705. Haλiv. This Greek word was no doubt used by the
Romans just as we employ the French word "encore." In a similar manner it was
probably used in the theatres, the usage of which is here figuratively referred to.
2 Composes better lines)-Ver. 707. In the line before, he alludes to the contest
of the Comic poets for the prize of Comedy, to be decided according to the merits
of their respective plays. As the poets were often the actors of their plays, he
addresses them in this line in the latter capacity. Then, in the next line, he
refers to the custom of the Romans in early times of training slaves as actors,
where, if they did not please the spectators, they were taken off the stage and
fined or beaten for their carelessness
Sc. IV.
39
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
SCENE III.
STASIMU S.
STAS. Faith, he's off. D'ye hear-Lysiteles? I want you.
He's off as well. Stasimus, you remain alone. What am I
now to do, but to buckle up my baggage and sling my buckler
on my back¹, and order soles to be fastened beneath my
shoes? There is no staying now. I see that no long time
hence I shall be a soldier's drudge. And when my master
has thrown himself into the pays of some potentate, I guess
that among the greatest warriors he will prove a brave¹-
hand at running away, and that there he will capture the
spoil, who shall come to attack my master. I myself, the
moment that I shall have assumed my bow and quiver and
arrows, and the helmet on my head, shall-go to sleep very
quietly in my tent. I'll be off to the Forum; I'll ask
that talento back of the person to whom I lent it six days
since, that I may have some provision for the journey to carry
with me.
(Exit.
SCENE IV.
Enter MEGARONIDES and CALLICLES.
แ
MEG. According as you relate the matter to me, Callicles,
1 On my back)-Ver. 719. When marching, the "clypeus," or shield," was
slung on the back of the soldier. The "sarcina," or "baggage," probably re-
sembled our knapsack.
2 Soles to be fastened)—Ver. 720. The "soccus" was a slipper or low shoe, which
did not fit closely, and was not fastened by a tie. These were worn both by
men and women, and especially by Comic actors. His meaning probably is, that
ne will be obliged to have high heels and thick soles put to his shoes, so as to turn
them into "caliga," the heavy kind of shoes worn by the Roman soldiers.
3 Into the pay)-Ver. 722. "In saginam," means "for his food;" as what we
technically call "the mess" was provided for the soldier by those who hired him
The term "sagina" is found especially applied to the victuals of the gladiators, who
were trained up and dieted on all kinds of nourishing food for the purpose of adding
to their strength, and thereby heightening interest attendant on their combats.
♦ Prove a brave)-Ver. 723. In this line and the next he is witty upon the
sorry figure which he fancies Lesbonicus will make in the field of battle.
5 Ask that talent)—Ver. 727. Many a truth is said in jest, and perhaps part of
this talent is the fruit of the theft which he seems in joke only to admit in ..
414;
as some Commentators have remarked, where was Stasimus, a slave, to get so
much money as a talent, more than 2007.? As, however, in other respects, he
seems to have been a faithful servant, let us in charity suppose that he came
nonestly by bis talent, and that it was his fairly acquired "peculium"
40
Act III.
TRINUMMUS;
it really can by no means be but that a portion must be
given to the girl.
CALL. Why, troth, it would hardly be honestly done.
on my part, if I were to allow her to contract a marriage
without a portion, when I have her property in my pos-
session at home.
*
*
*
**
*
*
*
MEG. *
* A portion is ready at
your house; unless you like to wait until her brother has dis-
posed of her in marriage without a portion. After that, you
might go to Philto yourself, and might say that you present
her with a portion, and that you do it on account of your
intimacy with her father. But I dread this, lest that offer
might bring you into crimination and disgrace with the public.
They would say that you were so kind to the girl not with-
out some good reason; that the dowry which you presented
her was given you by her father; they would think that you
were portioning her out of that, and that you had not kept
it safe for her just as it was given, and that you had with-
held some part. Now, if you wish to await the return of
Charmides, the time is very long; meanwhile, the inclination
to marry her may leave this Lysiteles; this proposal, too, is
quite a first-rate one for her.
CALL. All these very same things suggest themselves to
my mind.
MEG. Consider if you think this more feasible and more
to the purpose: go to the young man himself, and tell him
how the matter really stands.
CALL. Should I now discover the treasure to a young man,
ill-regulated, and brimful of passion and of wantonness? No,
faith, most assuredly, by no means. For I know, beyond a
doubt, that he would devour even all that spot where it is
buried. I fear to dig for it, lest he should hear the noise;
jest, too, he might trace out the matter itself, if I should say
I will give her a portion.
MEG. By what method, then, can the portion be secretly
taken out ?
CALL. Until an opportunity can be found for that business,
I would, in the meanwhile, ask for a loan of the money from
some friend or other.
MEG. Can it be obtained from some friend or other?
CALL. It can. MEG. Nonsense; you'll certainly mee
Sc. IV.
41
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
with this answer at once: "O, upon my faith, I really have
not anything that I can lend you.
CALL. Troth, I would rather they would tell me the truth
than lend me the money with a bad grace.
MEG. But consider this plan, if it pleases you.
CALL. What is the plan? MEG. I have found out a clever
plan, as I think.
CALL. What is it? MEG. Let some person, now, be hired,
of an appearance as much unknown as possible, such as has
not been often seen. Let this person be dressed up to
the life after a foreign fashion, just as though he were a
foreigner.
CALL. What is he to understand that he must do after
that?
MEG. It is necessary for him to be some lying, de-
ceiving, impudent fellow-a lounger from the Forum.
CALL. And what then, after that?
MEG. Let him come to the young man as though from
Seleucia, from his father; let him pronounce his salutation
to him in the words of his father, say that he is prospering
in business, and is alive and well, and that he will be shortly
coming back again. Let him bring two letters; let us seal
these, as though they are from his father. Let him give
the one to him, and let him say that he wishes to give the
other to yourself.
CALL. Go on, and tell me still further.
MEG. Let him say that he is bringing some gold as a
marriage-portion from her father for the girl, and that his
father has requested him to deliver it to you. Do you un-
derstand me now?
CALL. Pretty nearly; and I listen with great satisfaction.
MEG. Then, in consequence, you will finally give the gold
to the young man when the girl shall be given in marriage.
CALL. Troth, 'tis very cleverly contrived.
MEG. By this means, when you have dug up the trea-
sure, you will have removed all cause for suspicion from the
young man.
He will think that the gold has been brought
to you from his father; whereas, you will be taking it from
the treasure.
CALL. Very cleverly and fairly contrived; although I am
ashamed, at this time of life, for me to be playing a double
42
Act III
TRINUMMUS;
part. But when he shall bring the letters sealed, don't you
suppose that the young man will then recollect the impres-
sion of his father's siguet¹?
MEG. Will you be silent now? Reasons innumerable
may be found for that circumstance. That which he used
to have he has lost, and he has since had another new one
made. Then, if he should bring them not sealed at all, this
might be said, that they had been unsealed for him by
the custom-house officers, and had been examined. On
matters of this kind, however, 'tis mere idleness to spend
the day in talk; although a long discussion might be spun
out. Go now, at once, privately to the treasure; send to a
distance the men-servants and the maids; and-do you
hear?
CALL. What is it? MEG. Take care that you conceal
this matter from that same wife of yours as well; for, i'
faith, there is never any subject which they can be silent
upon. Why are you standing now? Why don't you take
yourself off hence, and bestir yourself? Open the treasure,
take thence as much gold as is requisite for this purpose; at
once close it up again, but secretly, as I have enjoined you;
turn all out of the house.
CALL. I will do so. MEG. But, really, we are continu-
¹ Ilis father's signet)—Ver. 789. The custom of wearing rings among the Ro-
mans was said to have been derived from the Sabines. The stones set in them
were generally engraved with some design, and they were universally used by both
Greeks and Romans for the purpose of a seal. So common was the practice among
the Greeks, that Solon made a very wholesome law which forbade engravers to
keep the form of a seal which they had sold. In some rings the seal was cut in
the metal itself. The designs engraved on rings were various; sometimes portraits
of ancestors or friends, and sometimes subjects connected with the mythology or
the worship of the Gods. The onyx was the stone most frequently used in rings.
The genuineness of a letter was tested, not by the signature, but by the seal ap-
pended to it; hence the anxiety of Callicles on the present occasion.
2 The custom-house officers)—Ver. 794. The "portitores" were the officers who
collected the "portorium," or "import duty," on goods brought from foreign
countries. These "portitores," to wnoin it was frequently farmed, greatly
annoyed the merchants by their unfair conduct and arbitrary proceedings. At
Rome, all commodities, including slaves, which were imported for the pur
pose of selling again, were subject to the "portorium." The present instance
is an illustration of the license of their proceedings, for we can hardly suppose
that they were cntitled as of right to break open the seals of letters from foreigr
countries.
Sc. IV.
43
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
ing too long a discourse; we are wasting the day, whereas
there is need now of all expedition. There is nothing for
you to fear about the seal; trust me for that. This is a
clever excuse to give, as I mentioned, that they have been
looked at by the officers. In fine, don't you see the time
of day? What do you think of him being of such a nature
and disposition? He is drunk already; anything you like
may be proved for him. Besides, what is the greatest point
of all, this person will say that he brings, and not that he
applies for, money.
CALL. Now, that's enough.
MEG. I am now going to hire a sharper¹ from the Forum,
and then I will seal the two letters; and I'll send him
thither (pointing to the house of CHARMIDES), well tutored
in his part, to this young man.
CALL. I am going in-doors then to my duty in consequence.
Do you see about this matter.
MEG. I'll take care it's done in the very cleverest style.
(Exeunt.
ACT THE FOURTH.
SCENE I.
Enter CHARMIDES.
CHARM. To Neptune, potent o'er the deep and most
powerful, the brother of æthereal Jove, joyously and sin-
¹ A sharper)—Ver. 815. "Sycophanta." At an early period there was a law
at Athens against the exportation of figs. In spite, however, of prohibitions and
penalties, the fig-growers persisted in exporting the fruit. To inform the autho
rities against the practice was deemed mean and vexatious, so the statute came
in time to be looked upon as obsolete. Hence, the term ouкopavтeîv, "to in-
form relative to the exportation of figs," came to be applied to all mean and dis-
honest accusations. In time, the word "sycophant" came to be applied to a man
who was a cunning and villanous character, and who, as it has been justly ob-
served, in Dr Smith's Dictionary, was "a happy compound of the common bar-
retor, informer, pettifogger, busybody, rogue, liar, and slanderer." In fact, he was
such a person as we mean by the epithet "swindler" or "sharper." Information
being encouraged by the policy of Athens, and the informer gaining half the reward,
✰ was upon this honourable calling that the "sycophanta" in general thrived
They were ready, however, for any other job, however dishonorable, and perjury
would not be declined by them if they could obtain their price. They would, conse
quently, be much in the neighbourhood of the Courts of justice; and the " Forum,
s in the present instance, would not be an unlikely place to meet with them.
44
Act IV.
TRINUMMUS;
cerely do I proffer praise, and return my grateful thanks;
to the salt waves, too, with whom lay supreme power over
myself,―one, too, that existed over my property and my life,
--inasmuch as from their realms they have returned me safe
and sound even to my own native city. And, Neptune, be-
fore the other Deities, do I both give and return to you ex-
treme thanks. For all people talk of you as being cruel
and severe, of voracious habits, filthy, unsightly, unendurable,
and outrageous; on the other hand, I have experiencea your
kindly aid. For, in good sooth, I have found you mild and
merciful upon the deep, even to that degree that I wished.
This commendation, too, I had already heard with these ears
before of you among men,-that you were accustomed to
spare the poor, and to depress and overawe the rich. Adieu!
I commend you; you know how to treat men properly,
according as is just. This is worthy of the Gods; they
should ever prove benignant to the needy; to men of high
station, quite otherwise. Trusty have you proved, though they
are in the habit of saying that you cannot be trusted. For,
without you, it would have happened, I am very sure, that
on the deep your attendants would have shockingly torn in
pieces and rent asunder wretched me, and, together with
me, my property as well, in every direction throughout the
azure surface of ocean. But just now, like raging dogs, and
no otherwise, did the winds in hurricane beset the ship;
storms and waves, and raging squalls were about to roar, to
break the mast, to bear down the yards, to split the sails; had
not your favouring kindness been nigh at hand. Have done
with me, if you please; henceforth have I now determined
to give myself up to ease; enough have I got. With what
pains have I struggled, while I was acquiring riches for my
son. But who is this¹ that is coming up the street with
his new-fangled garb and appearance? I faith, though I
wish to be at home, I'll wait awhile; at the same time, I
will give my attention to see what business this fellow is
about. (He retires aside.)
¹ But who is this)-Ver. 840. It seems at first sight rather absurd that Char-
mides, who has just returned from a voyage, should wait in the street to gossip
with a stranger who is coming towards him; but we must remember that he sees
that the fellow is making straight for his house, and his curiosity is excited by that
fact, combined with the very extraordinary dress which Megaronides has hired for
him from the playhouse, and has thereby probably much overdone the charactor
which he is intended to represent.
|
Sc. II.
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
SCENE II.
Enter the SHARPER.
SHARP. To this day I give the name of "The Festival of
the Three Pieces" (Trinummus); for, on this day, have I let
out my services in a cheating scheme for three pieces of
money. I am just arrived from Seleucia, Macedonia, Asia,
and Arabia, places which I never visited either with my eye
or with my foot. See now, what business poverty brings
upon the man that is wretchedly destitute; inasmuch as I
am now obliged, for the sake of three pieces of money, to say
that I received these letters from a certain person, about whoir.
I don't know, nor have I ever known, who the man is, nor de
I know this for certain, whether he was ever born or not.
CHARM. (behind). Faith, this fellow's surely of the mush-
room genus; he covers himself entirely with his top¹. The
countenance of the fellow appears to be Illyrian; he comes,
too, in that garb.
SHARP. He who hired me, when he had hired me, took me
to his house; he told me what he wanted to be done; he
taught and showed me beforehand how I was to do every-
thing. If, then, I should add anything more, my employer
will on that account the better forward his plan through me.
As he dressed me out, so am I now equipped; his money
did that. He himself borrowed my costume, at his own risk,
from the theatrical wardrobe²; if I shall be able, now, to
impose on this man through my garb, I will give him occasion
clearly to find that I am a very trickster.
CHAR. (behind). The more I look at him, the less does the
appearance of the fellow please me. 'Tis a wonder if that
1 With his top)-Ver. 851. The Sharper, as personating a foreigner, has on a
"petasus," or hat with very wide brims, extending straight out on each side. For
this reason Charmides wittily compares him to a mushroom-all head. The
"causia" was a similar hat worn by the Macedonians, with the brims turned up
at the sides.
2 The theatrical wardrobe)-Ver. 858. Chorego" literally, "from the
Choregus." It was the duty of this person at Athens to provide the Choruses for
tragedies and comedies, the Lyric Choruses of men and boys, the dancers for the
Pyrrhic dance, the Cyclic Choruses, and the Choruses of flute-players for the re-
ligious festivals of Athens. He also had to provide the Chorus with the requisite
dresses, wreaths, and masks-whence the application to him on the present occasion
46
Act IV.
TRINUMMUS;
fellow there is not either a night-robber¹ or a cutpurse. He
is viewing the locality; he is looking around him and sur
veying the houses; troth, I think he is reconnoitring the spot
for him to come and rob bye and bye. I have a still greater
desire to watch what he is about: I'll give attention to this
matter.
SHARP. This employer of mine pointed out these localities
to me; at this house are my devices to be put in practice.
I'll knock at the door.
CHARM. (behind). Surely this fellow is making in a
straight line for my house; i' faith, I think I shall have to
keep watch this night of my arrival.
SHARP. (knocks at the door of the house of CHARMIDES).
Open this door!-open it! Hallo, there! who now has the
care of this door??
CHARM. (coming up to him).
want? What is it you wish?
this door?
Young man, what do you
Why are you knocking at
SHARP. Eh! old gentleman; I am inquiring here for a
young man named Lesbonicus, where in this quarter he lives
-and likewise for another person, with such white hairs on
his head as yours; he that gave me these letters said his
name was Callicles.
CHARM. (aside). In fact, this fellow is looking for my own
son Lesbonicus and my friend Callicles, to whom I entrusted
both my children and my property.
SHARP. Let me know, respected sir³, if you are acquainted
with it, where these persons live.
แ
persons of
¹ A night-robber)—Ver. 862. “Dormitator" seems to mean a thief, who slept
during the day and pursued his avocations by night. "Sector zonarius" is a
cutter of girdles," similar to our cutpurse." It was the custom of
the middle and lower classes to wear their purses suspended from the "zona," or
girdle,” round the waist; and sometimes they used the folds of the girdle itself
for the purpose of depositing their money therein.
2 Care of this door)—Ver. 870. It was not the usage to enter a house without
giving notice to those within. This was done among the Spartans by shouting, while
the Athenians, and other nations, either used the knocker of the der or rapped
with the knuckles or a stick. In the houses of the rich a porter was always in
attendance to open the door. He was commonly a slave or eunuch, and was,
among the Romans, chained to his post. A dog was also in general chained near
the entrance, and the warning, "Cave canem," "Beware of the dog," was some-
times written near the door.
3 Respected sir)-Ver 877. "Pater," literally, "father."
Sc. II.
47
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
CHARM. Why are you inquiring for them? Or who are
you ?—Or whence are you? Or whence do you come ?
SHARP. I gave the return correctly to the Censor¹, when
I was questioned by him
CHARM. *
*
*
*
If you
SHARP. You ask a number of things in the same breath;
I know not which in especial to inform you upon.
will ask each thing singly, and in a quiet manner, I'll both
let you know my name, and my business, and my travels.
CHARM. I'll do as you desire. Come then; in the first
place, tell me your name.
SHARP. You begin by demanding an arduous task.
CHARM. How so?
SHARP. Because, respected sir, if you were to begin before
daylight, i' faith, to commence at the first part of my
name, 'twould be the dead of the night before you could
get to the end of it.
CHARM. According to your story, a person should have a
long journey's provision crammed tightly in for your name.
SHARP. I have another name somewhat less,-about the
size of a wine-cask 3.
CHARM. What is this name of yours, young man?
SHARP. "Hush," that's my name; that's my every-day
one.
CHARM. I' faith, 'tis a scampish name; just as though
1 To the Censor)-Ver. 879. "Juratori." It was the duty of the Censor, among
the Romans, to make these inquiries of every person when taking the Census.
As the Censors were bound by an oath to the faithful discharge of their duties
they were, in common with all persons so bound, called "juratores," "oaths
The Sharper gives Charmides an impudent answer, saying that he has
answered the Censor on these points, and that is enough.
men."
2 Beginning of my name)-Ver. 855. He probably alludes to his varied calling,
commensurate with everything in the line of roguery. See the Note to line 815.
3 Size of a wine cask)-Ver. 888. He alludes, probably, to the "amphora," or
large earthen jar, in which wine was kept. This was, perhaps, a cant saying, just
as if we should say, "As little as a hogshead."
4 "Ilush," that is my name)-Ver. 889. "Pax." This word was used to enjoin
silence, like our word "Hush," or "Whist." He seerns to allude to his own thieving
avocation, which often required him to be as mute as a mouse. Some of the editions
have "tax," as though from "tango,"
""to prig," or "steal." This, Thornton
renders "Touchit."
Just as though)-Ver. 891. This passage is of obscure signification. A note of
exclamation rught to be inserted after "pax," and then the meaning of the old
48
Act IV
TRINUMMUS
you were to say, "Hush," if I were confiding anything to
you, and then it is at an end forthwith. (Aside.) This fellow
is evidently a sharper. What say you, young man-
?
SHARP. What is it now? CHARM. Speak out; what do
these persons owe you whom you are seeking?
SHARP. The father of this young man, Lesbonicus, de-
livered to me these two letters; he is a friend of mine.
CHARM. (aside). I have now caught him in the fact; he
says that I gave him the letters. I will have some fine
sport with the fellow.
SHARP. As I have begun, if you will give attention, I will
say on.
CHARM. I'll give you my attention.
SHARP. He bade me give this letter to his son, Lesbonicus,
and this other one, as well, he bade me give to his friend
Callicles.
CHARM. (aside). Troth, but since he is acting the impostor,
I, on the other hand, have an inclination to act the cheat as
well. Where was he himself?
SHARP. He was carrying on his business prosperously.
CHARM. But where? SHARP. At Seleucia.
CHARM. * * ** * * And did you receive these from
himself?
SHARP. With his own hands he himself delivered them
into my hands.
CHARM. Of what appearance is this person ?
SHARP. He is a person somewhere about half a foot
taller than you.
CHARM. (aside). This is an odd matter, if in fact I am
taller when absent than when present. Do you know this
person?
man seems to be, that, as in conversation a stop is instantly put to the discourse
on saying "hush!" so, if anything is entrusted to him, it is as casily done for
(periisse), and that it vanishes the instant you call him by his name.
This 19
the explanation given by Lindemann. Ritschel reads "pax," but most of the old
Commentators have "tax," which seems the more probable realing. The
passage is thus rendered in Thornton's translation:
SHARP. 'Tis Touchit;-that, sir, is my name.
A common one.
CHARM. A very knavish name:
As though you meant to say if anything
Was trusted to you, touch it, and 'tis gone-
Sc. II.
49
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
SHARP. You are asking me a ridiculous question; together
with him I was in the habit of taking my meals.
CHARM. What is his name?
SHARP. One, i' faith, that belongs to an honorable man.
CHARM. I Would like to hear it.
SHARP. Troth, his name (hesitating)—his—his— (Aside.)
Woe to unfortunate me.
CHARM. What's the matter? SHARP. Unguardedly, I this
moment swallowed the name.
CHARM. I like not the man that has his friends shut up
within his teeth.
SHARP. And yet this moment 'twas dwelling on the very
edge of my lips.
CHARM. (aside). I've come to-day in good time before this
fellow.
SHARP. (aside). To my sorrow I'm caught in the fact.
CHARM. Have you now recollected the name ?
SHARP. 'Fore Gods and men, i' faith, I'm ashamed of myself.
CHARM. See, now, how well you know this man.
:
SHARP. As well as my own self. This is in the habit of hap-
pening the thing you are holding in your hand, and seeing
with your eyes, that same you are looking for as lost. I'll
recollect it letter by letter. C is the beginning of the name.
CHARM. Is it Callias? SHARP. No: it isn't that.
CHARM. Callippus? SHARP. It isn't that.
CHARM. Callidemides? SHARP. It isn't that.
CHARM. Callinicus? SHARP. No: it isn't that.
CHARM. Or is it Callimachus?
SHARP. 'Tis in vain you suggest; and, i' faith, I really don't
care one fillip about it, since I recollect enough myself for
my own purpose.
CHARM. But there are many people here of the name of
Lesbonicus; unless you tell me the name of his father, I cannot
show you these persons whom you are looking for. What
is it like? Perhaps we can find it out by guessing.
SHARP. It is something like this: Char-
CHARM. Chares? Or Charicles ?
Or Charicles? Or is it Charmides?
SHARP. Ah! that's he; may the Deities confound him.
CHARM. I have said to you once before already * * **
that it is proper for you rather to speak well of a man that
is your friend, than to curse him.
E
50
Act IV.
TRINUMMUS ;
SHARP. Isn't it the fact that this most worthless fellow
has lain perdu between my lips and my teeth?
CHARM. Don't you be cursing an absent friend.
SHARP. Why, then, did this most rascally fellow hide
himself away from me?
CHARM. If you had only called him, he would have an-
swered to his name. But where is he himself now?
SHARP. Troth, I left him at Rhadama², in the isle of
Apeland.
CHARM. * * * * * (aside). What person is there
a greater simpleton than I, who myself am making inquiries
where I am? But it is by no means unimportant to this
present purpose. What do you say as- - ?
SHARP. What now?
CHARM. I ask you this. What places have you visited ?
SHARP. Places exceedingly wonderful in astonishing
ways.
CHARM. I should like to hear about them, unless it is in-
convenient.
SHARP. Really I quite long to tell you. First of all we
were conveyed to Pontus, to the land of Arabia³.
¹ Isn't it the fact)—Ver. 925. He alludes to his having forgotten the confounded
name, which was on the very tip of his tongue.
LL
2 At Rhadama)-Ver. 928. Rhadama is a fictitious name-pure gibberish.
Cercopia" is a preferable reading to "Cecropia," which was an epithet of Athens,
itself supposed to be the scene of the Comedy. The other word would imply some
unknown region, called "Apeland," as the Sharper's only aim is to impose upon
the credulity of Charmides, and to hinder him from asking unseasonable questi ns.
He coins the word upon the spur of the moment, though there really were the
Ape Islands," or the isles of Pithecusæ, off the coast of Campania. They are
mentioned by Ovid, in the 14th book of the Metamorphoses, 1. 291: "For the father
of the Gods, once abhorring the frauds and perjuries of the Cercropians, and the
crimes of the fraudulent race, changed these men into ugly animals; that thesa
same beings might be able to appear unlike men and yet like them. He both
contracted their limbs and flattened their noses, bent back from their foreheads;
and he furrowed their faces with the wrinkles of old age; and he sent them into
this spot with the whole of their bodies covered with long yellow hair. Moreover,
he first took away from them the use of language and of their tongues, made for
dreadful perjury; he only allowed them to be able to complain with a harsh jab-
bering."
3 Land of Arabia)—Ver. 933. He gets out of depth directly he leaves imaginary
places and touches on real countries. He makes Arabia to be in l'ontus, while
they were realy about two thousand miles asunder
Sc. II.
51
HE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
CHARM. How now; is Arabia then in Pontus ?
SHARP. It is. Not that Arabia where frankincense is pro-
duced, but where the wormwood grows¹, and the wild mar-
joram which the poultry love.
CHARM. (aside). An extremely ingenious knave this. But
the greater simpleton I, to be asking of this fellow from what
place I have come back, a thing which I know, and he does
not know; except that I have a mind to try how he will get
out of it at last. But what say you further? Whither did
you go next from thence ?
SHARP. If you give me your attention, I will tell you. To
the source of the river which arises out of the heavens, from
beneath the throne of Jupiter.
CHARM. Beneath the throne of Jupiter?
SHARP. Yes: I say so.
CHARM. Out of the heavens ?
SHARP. Aye, out of the very middle.
CHARM. How now; and did you ascend even to the hea-
vens ?
SHARP. Yes we were carried in a little skiff2 right on, up
the river, against the tide.
CHARM. And did you see Jupiter as well?
SHARP. The other Gods said that he had gone to his
country-house, to dole out the victuals for his slaves. Then.
after that
CHARM. Then after that-I don't want you to relate any-
thing more.
SHARP. Troth, I'm silent, if it's troublesome.
CHARM. Why, no decent person³ ought to tell it, who has
gone from the earth to heaven.
SHARP. I'll leave you, as I see you wish it. But point me
out. these persons whom I am looking for, and to whom I
must deliver these letters.
¹ Wormwood grows)—Ver. 935. If he really refers here to Pontus, he acci-
dentally hits upon the truth. Ovid, when in banishment there, says, in the
Tristia, El. 13, 1. 21, "Let the white wormwood first be wanting in the freezing
Pontus." The Sharper tries to correct himself by saying he means another
Arabia, and not the one generally known, where the frankincense grows
2 In a little skif)-Ver. 942. "Horiola," or "horia," was a small skiff or smack
used by fisherrien.
3 No decent person)-Ver 947. He is supposed covertly to allude to the dis-
graceful story of Ganyinede being carried off by the cagle to minister to the lust
of Jupiter.
E 2
52
Act 1v.
TRINUMMUS;
1
CHARM. What say you? If now perchance you were to
see Charmides himself, him, I mean, who you say gave you
these letters, would you know the man?
4
SHARP. By my troth now, do you take me to be a brute
beast, who really am not able to recognise the person with
whom I have been spending my life? And would he have
been such a fool as to entrust to me a thousand Philippean
pieces, which gold he bade me carry to his son, and to his
friend Callicles, to whom he said that he had entrusted his
affairs? Would he have entrusted them to me if he had
not known me, and I him, very intimately?
CHARM. (aside). I really have a longing now to swindle
this swindler, if I can cozen him out of these thousand
Philippean pieces which he has said that I have given to him.
A person, that
that I know not who he is, and have never beheld
him with my eyes before this day, should I be entrusting gold
to him? A man, to whom, if his life were at stake, I would
not entrust a dump of lead. This fellow must be adroitly
dealt with by me. Hallo! Mister Hush, I want three words
with you.
SHARP. Even three hundred, if you like.
CHARM. Have you that gold which you received from
Charmides?
SHARP. Yes, and Philippeans, too, counted out on the
table with his own hand, a thousand pieces.
CHARM. You received it, you mean, from Charmides
himself?
SHARP. 'Twere a wonder if I had received it of his father,
or of his grandfather, who are dead.
CHARм. Then, young man, hand me over this gold.
SHARP. (staring at him). What gold am I to give you?
CHARM. That which you have owned you received from me.
SHARP. Received from you?
CHARM. Yes, I say so.
SHARP. Who are you? CHARM. I am Charmides, who
gave you the thousand pieces of money.
SHARP. I' faith, you are not he; and this day, you never
shall be he, for this gold, at any rate. Away with you, if you
please, you impostor! (Aside.) You are trying to cheat the
cheater.
CHARM. I am Charmides. SHARP. I' faith, you are so to
Sc. 11.
53
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
no purpose, for I carryl no gold. Right cleverly were you
down upon me, at the very nick of time. After I said that
I was bringing the gold, that instant you became Charmides.
Before I made mention of the gold, you were not he.
won't do. Just, therefore, in such manner as you Char
midised yourself, do you again un-Charmidise yourself.
It
CHARM. Who am I, then, if in fact I am not he who I
really am?
SHARP. What matters that to me? So long as you are
not he whom I do not choose you to be, you may be who you
iike, for what I care. Just now, you were not he who you
were, now you are become he who then you were not.
CHARM. Come, despatch, if you are going to do it.
SHARP. What am I to do?
CHARM. Give me back the gold.
SHARP. You are dreaming, old gentleman.
CHARM. Did you own that Charmides delivered the gold
to you?
SHARP. Yes-in writing. CHARM. Are you making haste
or not, you night-robber, to be off with all speed this very
instant from this neighbourhood, before I order you to be
soundly cudgelled on the spot?
SHARP. For what reason? CHARM. Because I am that
self-same Charmides about whom you have been thus lying,
and who you said gave the letters to you.
SHARP. How now; prithee, are you really he?
CHARM. I really am he. SHARP. Say you so, pray? Are
you really he himself?
CHARM. I do say so. SHARP. Are you his own self?
CHARM. His own self, I say. I am Charmides.
SHARP. And are you then his own self?
CHARM. His own very self. Begone hence out of my sight.
1 For I carry)-Ver. 973. He takes the other to be as great a rogue as bimself
and means, that his being Charmides only depended on whether he himself ad-
mitted that he was in possession of the gold of Charmides.
2 Yes, in writing)-Ver. 982. This, of course, was the fact, as Megaronides and
Callicles would know better than entrust the fellow with any money. It pro-
oably means that he was entrusted with a letter to Callicies, enclosing a coun-
terfeit bill at sight, or order on the Athenian bankers for payment of a thousand
Philippeans to Callicles. This, Callicles was to show to Lesbonicus, to put him
off the scent as to the treasure whence the money really was taken. The Sharper
has told Charmides that he has the money with him, merely by way of bcasting A
his trustworthy character.
54
Act IV.
TRINUMMUS;
Sharp. Since you really have made your appearance here
thus late, you shall be beaten both at my own award¹ and
that of the new Ediles.
CHARM. And are you abusing me as well?
SHARP. Yes; seeing that you have arrived in safety,
may the Gods confound me, if I care a straw for you, had you
perished first. I have received the money for this job; you
I devote to bad luck. But who you are, or who you are not,
I care not one jot. I'll go and carry words to him who
gave me the three pieces, that he may know that he has
thrown them away. I'm off. Live with a curse, and fare
Gods confound you, Charmides, for
you ill; may all the
coming from abroad¹.
(Exit.
SCENE III.
CHARMIDES.
CHAR. Since this fellow has gone, at last a time and
opportunity seem to have arrived for speaking out with-
out restraint. Already does this sting pierce my breast-
what business he could have before my house? For these
letters summon apprehensions into my heart; those thou-
1
¹ At my own award)—Ver. 990. He means to tell Charmides, that by delaying
his return thus late, he has spoilt his prospect of a lucrative job; and he then adds,
that he deserves a thrashing, equally with the actor who came on the stage too
late. The actors in early times, being often slaves, were liable to punishment if
they offended the audience. The Ediles were the officers under whose super-
intendence the plays were performed; and probably with them lay the decision
whether the actor should be punished for coming late on the stage, after he had
been pronounced deserving of it in the opinion (arbitratu) of the spectators. See
the Note to 1. 707.
2 Have arrived in safety)—Ver. 991. "Advenis." After this word, Callicles
might suppose that the Sharper is going to congratulate in the usual terms on his
safe arrival; but, instead of that, the fellow pauses, and then finishes with a
malediction.
3 Go and carry word)-Ver. 995. To tell him that he has given the three pieces
to no purpose, for the real Charmides has made his appearance, and has completely
spoiled the plot.
♦ From abroad)-Ver. 997. This scene is replete with true comic spirt It has
been supposed by some that the disgrace of the pedant in Shakspeare's Taming of
the Shrew, and his assuming the name and character of Vincentio, were suggested
by this scene. A similar incident is met with in the old play of Alburazar
met iv., sc. 8, and most probably it was borrowed from the present passage.
Sc. IV.
55
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
:
sand pieces, too-what purpose they were to serve. I' faith,
a bell¹ is never rung for no purpose; unless some one
handles it or moves it, 'tis mute, 'tis dumb. But who is
this, that is beginning to run this way along the street? 1
should like to observe what he is about. I'll step aside this
way. (He retires aside.)
SCENE IV.
Enter STASIMUS.
STAS. (to himself). Stasimus, make you haste with all
speed; away with you to your master's house, lest on a sud-
den, through your folly, fears should arise for your shoulder-
blades. Quicken your pace, make haste; 'tis now a long
while since you left the house. If you shall be absent when
inquired after by your master, take you care, please, that the
smacks of the bull's-hide³ don't clatter thick upon you. Don't
you cease running. See now, Stasimus, what a worthless
fellow you are; and isn't it the fact that you have forgotten
your ring at the liquor-shop5, after you have been washing
¹ r faith, a bell)-Ver. 1004. He aptly compares the worthless fellow to a bell
and then shrewdly judges that a bell cannot ring unless it is put in motion by
somebody.
2 For your shoulder-blades)—Ver. 1009. The slaves among the Romans were
whipped most unmercifully with the "flagellum," a whip, to the handle of which
a lash was fastened, made of cords or thongs of leather, especially from the ox's
hide. It was often knotted with bones, or pieces of bronze, or terminated by
hooks, and was then not inaptly termed "" a scorpion." The infliction of
punishment with this on the naked back was sometimes fatal, and was carried
ato execution by a class of slaves who were called "lorarii.”
3 Smacks of the bull's-hide)—Ver. 1011. "Cottabus" was a game played by the
Sicilians and Greeks, in which the players had in turn to throw wine out of a
goblet into a metal basin at a certain distance, in such a way as not to spill any of
the wine. The methods in which the game was played are stated with precision
in an able article in Dr. Smith's Dictionary. As one of the merits of the game was
that the wine thrown should in its fall produce the strongest and most pat sound,
Stasimus here calls the smacks of the whip on his back so many
"bubuli cottabi,"
"ox-hide smacks."
▲ Forgotten your ring)-Ver. 1014. We learn from Cælius Rhodiginus that
“condalium" was a peculiar kind of ring worn by slaves.
• At the liquor-shop)—Ver. 1013. The "thermopolia" are supposed to have beec
tae same as the "popinæ," shops where drinks and ready-dressed provisions we
56
Act IV.
TRINUMMUS;
your throat with warm drink? Turn
Turn about, and run back
now, to seek it, while the thing has but just happened.
CHARMIDES (behind). Whoever he is, his throat is his
taskmaster¹; that teaches this fellow the art of running.
STAS. What, good-for-nothing fellow, are you not ashamed
of yourself? having lost your memory after only three
cups? And really, because you were there drinking toge-
ther with such honest fellows, who could keep their hands
off the property of another without difficulty;-is it among
such men that you expect you may recover your ring?
Chiruchus was there, Cerconicus, Crimnus, Cricolabus, Col-
labus³, whipped-necks+, whipped-legs, iron-rubbers, whipped-
knaves. By my faith, any one of these could steal the sole
of his shoe from a running footman5.
sold. They were very numerous throughout Italy. The keepers of them were
called " popa." In the present instance we learn what kind of people visited
them, and Cicero tells us that they were frequented by the slaves and the lower
orders. They sat on stools or benches, while they drank "calda," or "calida,"
"mulled wine," which was always kept hot. It was probably mixed with spices,
and was the favourite drink of the lower classes. It was measured out in " po-
teria," "draughts," which are here mentioned; and which formed, probably,
about a moderate cupful. Claudius commanded the "thermopolia" to be closed
at one period of his reign.
¹ His throat is his taskmaster)—Ver. 1016. He has overheard what Stasimus
has said about warming his throat in l. 1014; and, talking to himself, he remarks
that his throat will be the cause of his learning how to run, as he warms his
throat, gets drunk, loses his ring, runs hoineward, and then runs back to find it.
2 Would keep their hands off)-Ver. 1019. There is no doubt that this is in-
tended to be said satirically.
3 Cricolabus, Collabus)—Ver. 1021. These are either nicknames, or, possibly,
names really given to slaves, as in all ages and countries masters have especially
tried to show their wit in naming their slaves.
4 Whipped-necks)-Ver. 1022. "Collicrepida" and "Cruricrepida" were pro-
bably cant terms for slaves, who carried the marks of punishment on their necks
and legs.
"Crepida" is from the verb "crepo," to "crack," and alludes to the
sound of the lashes. "Ferriterius" was a slave who bore the marks of the chain.
with which he had been fastened for refractory conduct, while "mastigia" was a
name given to a slave who had passed the ordeal of flogging. A liquor-shop was
a likely place for the resort of worthless and refractory slaves.
5 From a running footman)—Ver. 1023. "Cursores" were slaves who ran before
the carriage of their masters for the same purpose as our outriders. Perhaps,
however, this is not the meaning of the word here, as the name was given to all
slaves whom their masters employed in carrying letters and messages. Stasimus
hints by this that his boon companions were not only very expert at thieving, but
that they would prey just as readily on a fellow-slave as any other person,
Sc. IV.
57
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
CHARM. (behind). So may the Gods love me, a finished
thief.
STAS. Why should I go seek what is gone for ever?
Unless I would bestow my pains, too, by way of addition
over and above to my loss. Why, then, don't you consider
that what is gone is gone? Tack about, then¹. Betake
yourself back to your master.
CHARM. (behind). This fellow is no runaway; he remein-
bers his home.
STAS. I wish that the old-fashioned ways of old-fashioned
days, and the old-fashioned thriftiness, were in greater
esteem here, rather than these bad ways.
CHARM. (behind). Immortal Gods! this man really is be-
ginning to talk of noble doings! He longs for the old-
fashioned ways; know that he loves the old-fashioned ways,
after the fashion of our forefathers.
STAS. For, now-a-days, men's manners reckon of no value
what is proper, except what is agreable. Ambition now is
sanctioned by usage, and is free from the laws. By usage,
people have the license to throw away their shields, and to
run away from the enemy. To seek honor thereby in place of
disgrace is the usage.
CHARM. (behind). A shameless usage.
STAS. Now-a-days, 'tis the usage to neglect the brave.
CHARM. (behind). Aye, 'tis really shocking.
STAS. The public manners have now got the laws in their
power; to them they are more submissive than are parents
to their children2. In their misery, these laws are even hung
up³ against the wall with iron nails, where it had been much
more becoming for bad ways to be fixed up.
CHARM. (behind). I'd like to go up and accost this person;
but I listen to him with much pleasure, and I'm afraid, if I
address him, that he may begin to talk on some other subject.
¹ Tack about, then)-Ver. 1026. "Cape vorsoriam" was a sea-phrase, meaning
turn," or "tack about;" as "vorsoria" was the name of the rope by which the
sail was turned from one direction to another
2 Parents to their children)—Ver. 1038. This is said satirically in reference to
the corruptness of the age, in which all the relations and duties of life were turned
upside down.
3 Are even hung up)—Ver. 1039. He alludes to the custom among the Romans
of writing or engraving the laws and ordinances on wood or brass, and hanging
them up for public inspection upon pegs or rails in the Capitol, Forum, and Curiæ,
r Court-houses.
58
Act IV
TRINUMMUS;
STAS. And, for these ways, there is nothing rendered
sacred by the law. The laws are subservient to usage; but
these habits are hastening to sweep away both what is sacred
and what is public property.
CHARM. (behind). By my troth, 'twere right for some great
calamity to befal these bad customs.
STAS. Ought not this state of things to be publicly cen-
sured? For this kind of men are the enemies of all per-
sons, and do an injury to the entire people. By a non-ob-
servance of their own honour, they likewise destroy all trust
even in those who merit it not; inasmuch as people form an
estimate of the disposition of these from the disposition of
those fellows. If you lend¹ a person any money, it becomes lost
for any purpose as one's own. When you ask for it back
again, you may find a friend made an enemy by your kindness.
If you begin to press still further, the option of two things
ensues—either you must part with that which you have en-
trusted, or else you must lose that friend. As to how this
suggests itself to me, I have by actual experience been lately
put in mind of it.
CHARM. (behind). Surely this is my servant Stasimus?
STAS. For as to him to whom I lent the talent, I bought
myself an enemy with my talent, and sold my friend. But I
am too great a simpleton to be attending to public matters
rather than (what's my immediate interest) obtain safety
for my back. I'll go home. (Moves as if going.)
CHARM. Hallo, you! Stop, this instant! Harkye; hallo,
you!
STAS. I'll not stop. CHARM. I want you.
STAS. What if I myself don't want you to want me.
CHARM. Why, Stasimus, you are behaving very rudely.
STAS. 'Twere better for you to buy some one to give your
commands to.
too.
CHARM. I' faith, I have bought one, and paid the money,
But if he is not obedient to my orders, what am I to
do?
¹ If you lend)---Ver. 1050. Stasimus has experienced this, and has applied for
the talent which he Jent, but in vain; unless, indeed, his meaning is that he got
back the talent, but lost his friend. Shakspeare has a somewhat similar passag
in Hamlet:
Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loseth both itself and friend
Sc. IV.
59
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY,
STAS. Give him a severe punishment.
CHARM. You give good advice; I am resolved to do so.
STAS. Unless, indeed, you are under obligations to him.
CHARM. If he is a deserving person, I am under obligations
to him; but if he is otherwise, I'll do as you advise me.
STAS. What matters it to me whether you have good or
bad slaves ?
CHARM. Because you have a share in this matter both of
the good and of the bad.
STAS. The one share I leave to yourself; the other share,
that in the good, do you set down¹ to my account.
CHARM. If you shall prove deserving, it shall be so. Look
back at me-I am Charmides.
STAS. Ha! what person is it that has made mention of
that most worthy man?
CHARM. 'Tis that most worthy man himself.
STAS. O seas, earth, heavens, by my trust in you-do
I see quite clearly with my eyes? Is this he, or is it not?
'Tis he! 'Tis certainly he; 'tis he beyond a doubt! O my
most earnestly wished-for master, health to you!
CHARM. Health to you, too, Stasimus!
STAS. That you are safe and sound, I-
CHARM. (interrupting him). I know it, and I believe you.
But wave the rest; answer me this; how are my children,
my son and daughter, whom I left here?
STAS. They are alive, and well.
CHARM. Both of them, say you? STAS. Both of them.
CHARM. The Gods willed me to be safe and preserved from
dangers. The rest that I want to know I will inquire about
in-doors at my leisure. Let us go in-doors; follow me.
STAS. Where are you going now? CHARM. Where else
but to my house?
STAS. Do you suppose that we are living here?
1 Do you set down)—Ver. 1067. "Appone." This word is used figuratively, it
being employed to mean, in mercantile matters, "to set down to one's account.'
So Horace says:
Quem sors diorum cumque dabit, lucro
Appone-
"Whatever ot each day shall bring, set that down as clear gain." This, we may
here observe, is a similar sentiment to that conveyed in the remark of Callicles,
L. 65.
60
Act IV.
TRINUMMUS;
now ?"
CHARM. Why, where else should I suppose?
STAS. NOW-
CHARM. What about
STAS. This house is not our own.
CHARM. What is it I hear from you?
STAS. Your son has sold this house.
CHARM. I'm ruined. STAS. For silver mine; ready money
counted out.
CHARM. How many?
CHARM. I'm undone.
STAS. Forty.
Who has purchased it ?
STAS. Callicles, to whom you entrusted your affairs; he
has removed here to live, and has turned us out of doors.
CHARM. Where is my son now living?
STAS. Here, in these back buildings. (Points to the side
of the house.)
CHARM. I'm utterly undone.
STAS. I thought that this would be distressing to you
when you heard of it.
CHARM. To my sorrow, amid extreme dangers I have been
borne over vast oceans, with the peril of my life I have pre-
served myself among robbers full many in number, and I
have returned safe. Now, to my misery, I am here undone
by reason of those same persons for whose sake I have been
struggling at this time of life Grief is depriving me of my
senses. Support me, Stasimus.
STAS. Do you wish me to fetch you some water?
CHARM. When my fortunes were in their mortal struggle,
then was it befitting that water should be sprinkled¹ upon
them.
1
SCENE V.
Enter CALLICLES.
CALL. What noise is this that I hear before my house?
CHARM. O Callicles! O Callicles! O Callicles! to what
sort of friend have I entrusted my property?
CALL. To one good, and faithful, and trusty, and of strict
1 Should be sprinkled)-Ver. 1092. His meaning is, "you should have beer, as
ready to give your assistance at the time when my fortunes were in their death-
struggle through the conduct of my son Lesbonicus."
Sc. V.
61
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
integrity. Health to you, and I rejcice that you have ar
rived safe and sound¹.
*
*
*
*
*
*
[CHARM. How, health to me? Troth, I have no patience
with such health. This I wish to know; how have you kept
your trust, who, without my knowledge, have utterly de-
stroyed my property and my children that I entrusted to you
and committed to your charge when going hence abroad?
CALL. I don't think that it is fair, when you don't under-
stand the matter, to censure your old friend with harsh
words. For you are both mistaken and you are doing me a
very great injustice.
CHARM. Have you not bought this house which you came
out of just now, and driven thence my son Lesbonicus? Is
this so as I say, or is it not? Answer me.
CALL. I myself did buy the house; I bought it that I
might keep it for you. And without that it would have hap-
pened that your son would have sold it to another person;
and then you would have lost both it and that treasure
together, which, concealed there, you had entrusted to my
charge. See, I restore it safe to you; for you did I buy it,
not for myself.
CHARM. Prithee, what do you say? By my trust in Gods
and men, you make me suddenly to be quite ashamed of my
error in speaking unkindly to my friend in return for his
services.
CALL. How, then; do you now think that I am trusty
and faithful ?7
CHARM. I do think so, if all these matters are so as you
relate them. But what means this garb of yours?
CALL. I'll tell you. I was digging up the treasure in-
doors, as a marriage-portion to be given to your daughter.
¹ Safe and sound)—Ver. 1997. The lines after this, enclosed in brackets, are
supplied by Ritschel in Latin verse, to supply the "lacuna" here, where it is clear
that some part of the play has been lost. They are cleverly composed, and do
great credit to his ingenuity.
2 But what means)-Ver. 1099. As he has been interrupted while digging ap
the treasure, it is probable that he has run out with his sleeves tucked up, and
perhaps with the spade in his hand, which causes Charmides to make the present
inquiry.
62
Act V.
TRINUMMUS;
But I will relate to you both this and the rest in the house.
Follow me.
CHARM. Stasimus. STAS. Well!
CHARM. Run with all haste to the Piræus¹, and make but
one run of it. There you will at once see the ship, on board
of which I was carried hither. Bid Sagario take care that
the things are brought which I enjoined him, and do you go
together with them. The duty has been already paid to the
custom-house officer.
2
STAS. I make no delay. CHARM. Get you gone with all
speed; and be back directly.
STAS. I am both there and here in an instant.
CALL. (to CHARMIDES.) Do you follow me this way in-
doors. CHARM. I follow.
(Exeunt CALLICLES and CHARMIDES into the house.
STAS. This man alone has remained a firm friend to my
master; nor has he allowed his mind to swerve from unshaken
fidelity, although I believe that he has undergone many
troubles, by reason of the property and the children of my
master. Still, this person, as I suspect, alone has main-
tained his fidelity.
(Exit.
ACT THE FIFTH.
SCENE I.
Enter LYSITELES.
Lys. This individual is the very first of all men; ex-
celling all in pleasures and delights. So truly do the bless-
ings which I desire befal me, that whatever I undertake is
brought about, and constantly succeeds: so does one delight
succeed other delights. Just now, Stasimus, the servant
of Lesbonicus, came to me at home. He told me that his
1 The Piraeus)-Ver. 1103. The Piræus was the main harbour of Athens, with
which it was connected by long walls.
2 Been already paid)—Ver. 1107. Among the Romans, merchandise which a
person brought with him from abroad for his own use was in general exempt from
"portorium," or import duty; but this was not the case if it belonged rather to
the luxuries than the necessaries of life.
3 This individual)-Ver. 1115. He is speaking of himself in the third person,
and is congratulating himself on his being about to obtain the hand of the daughter
of Charmides.
Sc. II.
63
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
master, Charmides, had arrived here from abroad. Now
he must be forthwith waited upon by me, that the father may
prove a more sure foundation in that matter on which I have
treated with his son. I'll go. But this door, with its creak-
ing, inopportunely causes me delay. (He retires to a dis-
tance.)
SCENE II.
Enter CHARMIDES and CALLICLES.
CHARM. There never was, nor will there be, nor yet do 1
think that there is a person upon the earth, whose fidelity
and constancy towards his friend equals yours. For without
you, it would have been that he would have ousted me out
of this house.
CALL. If I have in any way acted well towards my friend,
or have faithfully consulted his advantage, I seem not to be
deserving of praise, but I think I am free from fault. For
a benefit which is conferred on a man for his own, at once is
lost to the giver; what is given only as a loan, the same there
is a right to ask back, whenever you please.
CHARM. 'Tis so as you say. But I cannot sufficiently
wonder at this, that he has betrothed his sister into a family
so influential.
CALL. Aye; to Lysiteles, the son of Philto.
Lys. (behind). Why, he is mentioning my name.
CHARM. He has got into a most worthy family.
Lys. (behind). Why do I hesitate to address these per-
sons? But still, I think, I may wait awhile; for something
is going to be said to the purpose about this matter.
CHARM. O CALL. What's the matter?
CHARM. I forgot just now to tell you of it in-doors. Au
I was coming hither, a while ago, a certain swindling fellow
met me a very finished sharper. He told me that he was
carrying a thousand gold pieces, of my giving, to you and my
son Lesbonicus; a fellow, that I know not who he was, nor
have I ever seen him anywhere before. But why do you
laugh ?
CALL. He came by my directions, as though he was one
bringing the gold from you to me, to give as a portion to your
64
Act V.
TRINUMMUS;
daughter; that your son, when I should give it to her from
iny own hands, might suppose that it had been brought from
you, and that he might not anyhow be enabled to discover the
fact itself that your treasure was in my possession, and de-
mand it of me¹, as having belonged to his father, by the public
laws.
CHARM. Cleverly contrived, i' troth. CALL. Megaronides,
a common well-wisher of yours and mine, planned this.
CHARM. Well, I applaud his device, and approve of it.
LYS. (behind). Why, in my foolishness, while I fear to
interrupt their discourse, am I standing here alone, and am
not forwarding the business that I was intending to trans-
act? I will accost these persons. (He advances.)
CHARM. Who is this person that is coming this way to-
wards us?
Lrs. (going up to CHARMIDES). Lysiteles salutes his
father-in-law Charmides.
CHARM. May the Gods grant you, Lysiteles, whatever
you may desire.
CALL. Am I not worthy of a salutation?
Lys. Yes; health to you, Callicles. It is right that I
should give him the preference: the tunic is nearer the skin
than the cloak.
CALL. I trust that the Gods may direct your plans
aright.
CHARM. I hear that my daughter has been betrothed to
you?
Lys. Unless you are unwilling. CHARM. Nay, I am not
unwilling.
Lys. Do you, then, promise your daughter for my wife?
CHARM. I promise a thousand gold Philippean pieces, as
well, for a portion.
Lys. I care nothing about a portion.
CHARM. If she pleases you, the portion which she presents
to you must be pleased as well. In fine, the object which
And demand it of me)-Ver. 1146. On the supposition of his father's death,
the laws would probably have decreed it to him as his father's heir.
2 The tunic is nearer)-Ver. 1154. This was, perhaps, a proverbial saying, used
when a preference was expressed. Of course he would pay more respect to his
enticipated father-in-law than to an ordinary frien 1 The "tunica" supplied the
place of the shirt of modern times.
Sc. III,
65
THE THREE PIECES OF MONEY.
you desire you shall not have, unless you shall take that
which you do not desire.
CALL. (to LYSITELES). He asks but justice.
Lys. He shall obtain it, you the advocate and the judge.
On these conditions, do you engage that your daughter shall
be given to me as my wife?
CHARM. I do promise her.
likewise.
CALL. And I promise her
Lys. O save you, my connexions by marriage. (He embraces
them.)
CHARM. But, in good sooth, there are some matters on
account of which I still am angry with you.
Lys. What have I done? CHARM. Because you have
allowed m
son to become dissolute.
**
*
**
*
Lys. I that been done by my consent, there would have
been cause for you to blame me.
But allow me to obtain of you this one thing which I entreat ?
CHARM. What is it? Lys. You shall know. If he has
done anything imprudently, that you will dismiss it all from
your mind. Why do you shake your head?
CHARM. My heart is tortured, and I fear-
Lys. What is it now? CHARM. Because he is such as I
would that he was not, by that am I tortured. I fear that
if I refuse you what you ask of me, you may suppose that I
am indifferent towards you. I won't make difficulties, now-
ever; I will do as you wish.
Lys. You are a worthy man. I am going to call him out.
(He goes to the door of the house of CHARMIDES.)
CHARM. 'Tis a shocking thing if one is not allowed to
punish bad deserts just as they merit.
The
LYS. (knocking at the door). Open the door, open quickly,
and call Lesbonicus out of doors, if he is at home.
occasion is very sudden, therefore I wish him to come to me
with all haste.
SCENE III.
Enter LESBONICUS from the house.
LESB. What person has been calling me out of doors with
so loud a knocking?
Lys. 'Tis your well-wisher and friend
LESB. Is all quite right ?—tell me.
F
66
Act. V.
TRINUMMUS,
Lys. All's well. I am glad to say that your father has
returned from abroad.
LESB. Who says so? Lys. I.
LESB. Have you seen him?
Lys. Aye, and you yourself
may see him too. (He points to CHARMIDES.)
LESB. O my father, my father, blessings on you.
CHARM. Many blessings on you, my son.
LESB. If, father, any trouble
CHARM. Have no
fear, nothing has happened. My affairs prosperously managed,
I have returned safe. If you are only wishful to be steady,
that daughter of Callicles has been promised you.
LESB. I will marry both her, father, and any one else
besides that you shall bid me
CHARM. Although I have beer angry with you, one
misery, in fact, is more than enough for one ma
CALL. Nay, rather, 'twere too little for hinor if he
were to marry a hundred wives for his sins, 1 were too
little.
LESB. But henceforth, in future, I will be steady.
CHARM. So you say; if you will only do it.
LESB. Is there any reason why I should not bring my wife
home to-morrow?
CHARM. 'Tis very good. And you, Lysiteles, be ready to
be married the day after to-morrow.
Give your applause³.
A COMEDIAN.
If, father, any trouble)—Ver. 1181. Lesbonicus seems to be about to apolo-
gise to Charmides for any trouble he may have given him, but, as the old man has
already agreed to forgive him at the intercession of Lysiteles, he will not allow a
word more to be said about it.
2 One misery)—Ver. 1185. The old gentleman tells his son that he will be quite
sufficiently punished for his faults by having one wife. It is either said as a joke
in a bantering way, or else it means, that, what will be a great punishment to
him, he must now reformn his mode of life, for common decency sake and out of
respect to his wife.
3 Give your applause)—Ver. 1189. "Plaudite." Literally, "clap your hands."
Ritschel, on a full examination of the MSS., comes to the conclusion that this was
said, not, as is generally thought by one of the characters in the play, but by one
of the actors or singers, probably, of the Chorus, who commenced their song the
monent the play was finished. All the applause bestowed on the writer and the
actors seems to have been usually reserved for the end of the play.
MILES GLORIOSUS;
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
Dramatis Personæ.
PYRGOPOLINICES, the Braggart Captain.
ARTOTROGUS, a Parasite.
PERIPLECOMENUS, an old gentleman, the friend of Pleusicie
PLEUSICLES, a young Athenian.
PALESTRIO, servant of Pyrgopolinices.
SCELEDRUS, another servant of Pyrgopolinices.
LUCRIO, a lad, an under-servant of Pyrgopolinices.
CARIO, cook to Periplecomenus.
A Bor.
PHILOCOMASIUM, the mistress of Pyrgopoliaices
ACROTELEUTIUM, a Courtesan.
MILPHIDIPPA, her maid.
SLAVES.
Eco-Ephesus: a Street before the houses of PERIPLEC MENUS and FYLair
POLINICKS, which adjoin cach other.
F 2
THE SUBJECT.
PLEUSICLES, a young Athenian, is in love with Philocomasium, a Courtesan of
Athens, who returns his affection. Being sent on public business to Naupactus,
a certain Captain of Ephesus, Pyrgopolinices by name, comes to Athens, and in-
sinuates himself into the good graces of her mother, in order that he may get
Philocomasium into his power. Having deceived the mother, he places the
daughter on board ship and carries her off to Ephesus. On this, Palæstrio, a
faithful servant of Pleusicles, hastens to embark for Naupactus, with the view of
telling his master what has happened. The ship being taken by pirates, he is
made captive, and by chance is presented as a gift to Pyrgopolinices. He re-
cognises the mistress of Plensicles in the Captain's house; but he carefully
conceals from the Captain who he himself is. He then privately writes to
Pleusicles, requesting him to come to Ephesus. On arriving, Pleusicles is
hospitably entertained by Periplecomenus, a friend of his father, an old gentle-
man who lives next door to the Captain. As Philocomasium has a private
room of her own in the Captain's house, a hole is made through the partition
wall, and by this contrivance she meets Pleusicles in the house of his enter-
tainer, who gives his sanction to the plan.
At this juncture, the play begins. A servant of the Captain, named Sceledrus,
has been appointed to be the keeper of Philocomasium. Pursuing a monkey
along the roof of the house, he looks down. the skylight of the house next door,
and there sees Pleusicles and Philocomasium conversing and toying with each
other. When this has been discovered to be the case, a plan is arranged,
by which Sceledrus shall not only not divulge to the Captain what he
has seen,
but shall even be made to believe that he has not actually seen
it himself. Palæstrio, therefore, persuades him that the twin-sister of Philoco-
masium has arrived at Ephesus, and with her lover is staying at their neigh-
bour's house. To forward their designs, Palæstrio then invents another plan.
He persuades the Captain to believe that the wife of his neighbour, Peripleco-
menus, is in love with him. Through his agency, a Courtesan, named Acrote-
lutium, pretends that she is the wife so desperately in love with the Captain.
l'e believes this story, and, that he may the more conveniently receive her in
his house, by the advice of Palæstrio, he sends Philocomasium away, and gives
her into the charge of Pleusicles, who is disguised in the dress of a master of a
ship. They go to the harbour and set sail, accompanied by Palestrio, whoın
the Captain has given to Philocomasium at her request. The Captain, then, at
the invitation of the maid of Acroteleutium, goes tɔ̃ the house next door, to visit
her mistress. On this, Periplecomenus, with his servants, sallies forth upon
him, and, having first threatened to cut him in pieces, and then having beaten
and stripped him, they let him go, after they have exacted from him a confession
that he has been rightly served, and a promise that he will molest no one in re-
Lurn for the treatment he has received.
THE
MILES GLORIOSUS;
BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
THE ACROSTIC ARGUMENT.
[Supposed to have been written by Priscian, the Grammarian.]
A Captain carries off to Ephesus a Courtesan (Meretricem) from Athens. While
his servant is intending to tell this (Id) to his master, her lover, who is an Am-
bassador (Legato) abroad, he himself is captured at sea, and (Et) is given as a
present to the same Captain. The servant sends for his (Suum) master from
Athens, and cleverly makes a hole in the party wall, common to the two (Ge-
minis) houses, that it may be possible (Liceret) for the two lovers secretly to
meet. Wandering about (Oberrans), her keeper sees them from the tiles, but
he is played a trick (Ridiculis) upon, as though it were another person.
Palæstrio, too, as well (Item) persuades the Captain to have his mistress dis-
missed (Omissam), since the wife of the old man (Senis), his neighbour, wishes
to marry him. He begs that she will go away of her own accord (Ultro), and
gives her many things. He, himself, caught in the house of the old man
(Senis), receives punishment as an adulterer.
ACT THE FIRST.
SCENE I.
Enter PYRGOPOLINICES, ARTOTROGUS, and Soldiers.
PYRG. Take ye care that the lustre of my shield is more
แ
¹ Pyrgopolinioes)-The-titeral-meaning of the name of the swaggering Captair.
is "the much-conquering tower," or something similar. Artotrogus" means
"bread-cater." The word "Parasite" properly denotes "one person who dines
with another." The name was originally given to persons who were assistants to
the priests and high magistrates, and, consequently, had a respectable signifi-
cation. The hangers-on, who are called "Parasites" by the Comic writers of
Greece and Rome, first received that name from Alexis, the Greek Comedian. It
nas been well remarked, that the chief characteristics were "importunity, love
of sensual pleasures," and "the desire of getting a good dinner without paying for
it." They may be subdivided into the jesting, the officious, and the flattering Pa-
rasite (assentator), of which latter kind Artotrogus is an admirable specimen
From ancient writers we find that it was their method to frequent the Courts c
Justice, market-places, baths, places for exercise, and other objects of public re-
sort, with the view of obtaining a dinner, at the price of being the butt of their
entertainer, and cheerfully submitting to the greatest humiliations.
70
Act I
MILES GLORIOSUS;
bright than the rays of the sun are wont to be at the time
when the sky is clear; that when occasion comes, the battle
being joined, 'mid the fierce ranks right opposite it may
dazzle the eyesight of the enemy. But, I wish to console
this sabre of mine, that it may not lament nor be downcast
in spirits, because I have thus long been wearing it keeping
holiday, which so longs right dreadfully to make havoc of
the enemy. But where is Artotrogus?
ARTO. Here he is; he stands close by the hero, valiant
and successful, and of princely form. Mars could not dare
to style himself a warrior so great, nor compare his prowess
with yours.
PYRG. Him you mean whom I spared on the Gorgonido-
nian¹ plains, where Bumbomachides Clytomestoridysarchides,
the grandson of Neptune, was the chief commander ?
ARTO. I remember him; him, I suppose, you mean with
the golden armour, whose legions you puffed away with your
breath just as the wind blows away leaves or the reed-thatched
roof.
PYRG. That, on my troth, was really nothing at all.
ARTO. Faith, that really was nothing at all in compari-
son with other things I could mention-(aside) which you
never did. If any person ever beheld a more perjured fellow
than this, or one more full of vain boasting, faith let him have
me for himself, I'll resign myself for his slave; if 'tis not
the fact that my one mess of olive pottages is eaten up by
me right ravenously.
PYRG. Where are you?
ARTO. Lo! here am I. I'troth
¹ Gorgonidonian)—Ver. 13. These three crackjaw names are coined by Plautus
much in the style of the names of the characters in Bombastes Furioso. They
are mere gibberish, though the two latter are derived from Greek or Latin words;
the first of which signifies "a son of a fighter at the sound of the trumpet."
2 'Tis not the fact that)-Ver. 24. This line is read in many different ways, and
is evidently in a most corrupt state. Ritschel suggests, "Unum epityrum aput
illum estur insane bene," which we follow as nearly as is consistent with the
English idiom.
3 Mess of olive pottage)—Ver 24. "Epityrum" was the name of a dish much
used by the people of Sicily, who ate it together with cheese. We learn from
Cato (on Rural Matters), that it was made of various kinds of olives minced up, and
mixed with oil, vinegar, coriander, cummin, fennel, rue, and mint, and then pro
served in jars.
Se. I.
71
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
in what a fashion it was you broke the fore-leg of even an
elephant, in India, with your fist.
PYRG. How?—the fore-leg? ARTO. I meant to sav this
-the thigh,
PYRG, I struck the blow without an effort.
ARTO. Troth, if, indeed, you had put forth your strength
your arm would have passed right through the hide, the
entrails, and the frontispiece of the elephant.
PYRG. I don't care for these things just now.
ARTO. I' faith, 'tis really not worth the while for you
to tell me of it, who know right well your prowess. (Aside.)
'Tis my appetite creates all these plagues. I must hear him
right out with my ears, that my teeth mayn't have time³ to
grow, and whatever lie he shall tell, to it I must agree.
PYRG. What was it I was saying?
ARTO. O, I know what you were going to say just now.
I' faith 'twas bravely done; I remember its being done.
PYRG. What was that? ARTO. Whatever it was you were
going to say.
PYRG. Have you got your tablets¹? ARTO. Are you in-
tending to enlist? I have them, and a pen as well.
¹ The fore-leg)—Ver. 26. "Brachium" is supposed by some to mean "the trunk"
of the elephant; but it seems more probable that it here means "the fore-leg."
2 My appetite creates)-Ver. 33. He now addresses the Spectators, and honestly
confesses why he is a Parasite.
³ Mayn't have time)-Ver.34. "Dentes dentire" is that which we call “teething. '
He says that he acts the flatterer that his teeth may not have time to grow
through want of employment.
4 Got your tablets)-Ver. 38. The "tabula," or "tabella," used by the ancients
for the purpose of writing, were pieces of wood, mostly of an oblong shape, covered
with wax, on which an impression was made with the "stylus," or iron pen. They
were sometimes made of ivory, but more frequently of citron-wood, beech, or fir
The inside only of the tablet was covered with wax, the outer consisting of wood.
The leaves were fastened at the back with wires, and opened and shut like the
books of the present day. There was a raised margin to each leaf of the tablet,
for the purpose of preventing the wax of the one from rubbing against the other.
From two to five, six, or even more of these leaves were joined together, which
were accordingly called "diptycha," "triptycha," and so on. Those tablets which
contained legal documents were pierced through the outer edges with holes,
through which a triple thread or string was passed, on which a seal was placed,
in order to prevent forgery and to show that the deed was duly executed.
5 Intending to enlist)-Ver. 36. "Rogare." Soldiers, when enlisted, were asked
(rogabantur) whether they would take the oath. Hence the word "rogare" means
72
Act I.
MILES GLORIOSUS;
PYRG. How cleverly you do suit your mind to my own mind.
ARTO. 'Tis fit that I should know your inclinations stu-
diously, so that whatever you wish should first occur¹ to me.
PYRG. What do you remember? ARTO. I do remember
this. In Cilicia there were a hundred and fifty men, a hundred
in Cryphiolathronia, thirty at Sardis, sixty men of Macedon,
whom you slaughtered altogether in one day.
PYRG. What is the sum total of those men?
ARTO. Seven thousand. PYRG. It must be as much: you
keep the reckoning well.
ARTO. Yet I have none of them written down; still, so I re-
member it was.
PYRG. By my troth, you have a right good memory.
ARTO. (aside). 'Tis the flesh-pots3 give it a fillip.
PYRG. So long as you shall do such as you have done
hitherto, you shall always have something to eat: I will
always make you a partaker at my table.
ARTO. Besides, in Cappadocia, you would have killed five.
hundred men altogether at one blow, had not your sabre
been blunt.
PYRG. I let them live, because I was quite sick of fighting.
ARTO. Why should I tell you what all mortals know, that
you, Pyrgopolinices, live alone upon the earth, with valour,
beauty, and achievements most unsurpassed? All the women
are in love with you, and that not without reason, since you
are so handsome. Witness those girls that pulled me by my
mantle yesterday.
PYRG. What was it they said to you?
ઃઃ
(6
Then
ARTO. They questioned me about you. "Is Achilles here?"
says one to me. No," says I,
"his brother is.
says the other to me: By my troth, but he is a handsome
something tantamount to our word "enlist," or "recruit." The Parasite asks him
if he is going to enlist, as the tablets would be wanted in the "Forum," or Court
of justice," for the purpose of taking down the oaths, and entering the names as
the partics were sworn.
¹ Should first occur)—Ver. 41. "Prævolat mihi." Literally, "should fly to
me beforehand.”
2 Cryphiolathronia)--Ver. 43. This word is inere gibberish: it is compounded
of Greek words, which would make it to mean "the place of hidden secrecy." The
part of the flatterer seems to be a little overdone here.
3 'Tis the flesh-pots)—Ver. 49. "Offre monent." "Ofla" properly means
lump of flesh," from which it came to signify "victuals" in general.
(
Sc. 1.
73
21E BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
and a noble man. See how his long hair becomes him
Certainly the women are lucky who share his favours.
PYRG. And pray, did they really say so?
ARTO. They both entreated me to bring you past to-day
by way of a sight¹ to them.
PYRG. 'Tis really a very great plague to be too handsome
a man.
ARTO. They are quite a nuisance to me; they are praying,
entreating, beseeching me, to let them see you; bidding me
be fetched to them; so that I can't give my attention to your
business.
PYRG. It seems that it is time for us to go to the Forum,
that I may count out their pay to those soldiers whom I have
enlisted of late. For King Seleucus entreated me with
most earnest suit that I would raise and enlist recruits for
him. To that business have I resolved to devote my attention
this day.
me.
ARTO. Come, let's be going then. PYRG. Guards, follow
(Exeunt.
ACT THE SECOND.
SCENE I.
THE PROLOGUE.
Enter PALESTRIO³.
PAL. To tell the subject of this our play, I have all
willingness, if you will but have the kindness to listen to it.
But he who does not wish to listen, let him arise and go
out, that there may be room where he may sit who does wish
to listen. Now I will disclose to you both the subject and the
name of the play which we are just now about to act, and for
¹ By way of a sight)—Ver. 67. “Pompam." Strictly speaking, this word means
the escort of a procession," whence it came to signify the "procession" itself.
² Seleucus)—Ver. 75. The King of that part of Asia Minor where Ephesus was
situate.
3 Palæstrin) As the Prologue of the play commences with the Second Act.
it may appear to be misplaced; but it really is properly placed here, as the pre-
ceding act is introductory, and has nothing to do with the plot, being yoid of inci
dentIts purpose is to acquaint us with the character of the Captain, who is t◄
be duped and punished in the piece according to his deserts,

74
Act. II.
MILES GLORIOSUS;
he
the sake of which you are now seated in this mirthful place¹.
'Alazon" is the name², in Greek, of this Comedy; the same
we call in Latin, "the Braggart" (Gloriosus). This city is
Ephesus; then, the Captain, my master, who has gone off
hence to the Forum, a bragging, impudent, stinking fellow,
brimful of lying and lasciviousness, says that all the women
are following him of their own accord. Wherever he goes,
is the laughing-stock of all; and so, the Courtesans bere—since
they make wry mouths at him, you may see the greater part
of them with lips all awry. I wish you now to know this,
how I came to be his slave, from him to whom I was servant
before; for 'tis not long that I have been in slavery to him.
Give your attention, for now I will begin the argument. A
very worthy young man at Athens was my master.
He was
in love with a Courtesan, brought up at Athens, in Attica,
and she on the other hand loved him; such affection is most
worthy to be cherished. In the public service, he was sent
to Naupactus as Ambassador on behalf of that mighty
republic. In the mean time, by chance, this Captain
came to Athens. He introduced himself to this lady of my
master, began to cajole her mother with presents of wine,
trinkets, and costly treats; and so the Captain made himself
on intimate terms with the procuress. As soon as ever an
opportunity was presented for this Captain, he tricked this
procuress, the mother of the damsel, whom my master loved.
For, unknown to her mother, he put the daughter on board
ship, and carried this woman, against her will, hither to
Ephesus. Soon as I knew that the lady of my master was
carried off from Athens, as quickly as ever I was able, I
procured for myself a ship: I embarked, that I might carry
tidings of this matter to my master at Naupactum. When
we had got out to sea, some pirates, as they had hoped to do,
took that ship on board of which I was; thus I was undone
before I reached my master, for whom I had commenced to
proceed on my voyage. He that took me, gave me as a pre-
-
1 This mirthful place)-Ver. 83. IIe alludes to the theatres, where scenic re-
presentations took place on public festivals.
2 Alazon is the name)-Ver. 86. 'Aλačov, "the boaster," he says, was the
Greek name of the play. It is not known who was the Greek author from wh
Plautus took this play, which is one of his best.
Naupactus)-Ver. 102. This was a city situate on the sea-coast of Etclia.
Sc. 1.
75
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
sent to this same Captain. After he had taken me home to
his own house, I saw there that favorite of my master who
lived at Athens. When, on the other hand, she perceived me,
she gave me a sign with her eyes not to address her by name.
Afterwards, when there was an opportunity, the damsel com-
plained to me of her hard fate. She said that she wished to
escape to Athens from this house, that she was attached to him,
that master of mine who lived at Athens, and that she had
never hated any one more thoroughly than this same Captain.
As I discovered the feelings of the damsel, I took tablets,
sealed them in private, and gave them to a certain merchant
to carry to him (my master, I mean, who was at Athens, and
who had so loved her), in order that he might come hither.
He did not slight the message, for he both is come, and is
lodging here next door, with his host, a friend of his father's,
a nice old man. He, too, gives every assistance to his guest
in his amour, and encourages and seconds us with his help and
his advice. Therefore, here (pointing to the CAPTAIN's house),
in-doors, I have found a grand contrivance, by which to cause
these lovers, cach, to meet the other. For one room, which the
Captain gave to his mistress for no one but herself to set foot
in, in that same room I have dug a hole through the party-
wall, in order that there may secretly be an ingress for the
damsel from the one house to the other. And this I have
done with the knowledge of the old gentleman; 'twas he that
gave the advice. But my fellow-servant, whom the Captain has
given as a keeper to his mistress, is a person of no great worth.
By clever contrivanecs and ingenious devices, we will throw
dust¹ in his eyes, and we will make him so as not to see what
he really does see. And that you may not hereafter make
mistakes, this damsel to-day, in this house and in that, will
perform in turn a double part, and will be the same, but will
pretend to be another, person. Thus will the keeper of the
damsel be gulled. But there is a noise at the door here of
1 We will throw dust)—Ver. 148. "Glaucomam objiciemus;" literally,
will throw a malady in his eyes."
"Glaucoma" was a disease of the crys-
talline humours of the eye.

we
2 There is a noise)—Ver. 151. The street doors of the ancients consisted of
olding-doors, whence the plural form, "fores." These opened outward into the
street, and not, like those of modern times, within. For this reason, when any
person was coming out, it was customary for him to give warning by making
noise with his knuckles or a stick on the inside.
76
Act. II
MILES GLORIOSUS;
the old gentleman, our neighbour. 'Tis himself coming out
'tis he, the nice old man that I was speaking of. (He retires
to a distance.)
SCENE II.
Enter PERIPLECOMENUS from his house.
PERIP. (speaking to his servants within). Faith, if you
don't in future smash his ankle-bones for any stranger that
you see on my tiles, I will cut you so with lashes as to
make thongs of your sides. My neighbours, i' faith, are over-"
lookers of what is going on in my own house; so often are
they peeping down through the skylight¹. And now, there-
fore, I give you all notice, whatever person of this Captain's
household you shall see upon our tiles, except Palæstrio only,
push him headlong here into the street. Suppose he says that
he is following some hen, or pigeon, or monkey; woe be to you,
you don't badly maul the fellow even to death. And so, that
they may commit no infringement against the laws of dice²,
if
¹ Through the skylight)—Ver. 159. The "atrium," or middle hall, of the houses
of the Romans was a large apartment, roofed over, with the exception of an
opening in the centre, which was called "impluvium," or "compluvium," towards
which the roof sloped, so as to throw the rain-water down through pipes into a
cistern below. Vitruvius says that the "impluvium" was from a fourth to a
third of the size of the "atrium," or hall below. It was probably glazed, and
thus would form a sort of sloping skylight. In the present instance, it would
seem to have overlooked the upper chamber, into which Philocomasium passed
through the wall of the next house, to meet Pleusicles.
в
2 The laws of dice)—Ver. 164. Commentators are much divided as to what is
the meaning here of "lex alearia," or, as some editions have it "lex talaria.”
Some suppose that it simply means "the rules of the game with the 'tali,' or
dice;"" while others think that Plautus alludes to some recent enactment at
Rome against games of chance. Such laws were repeatedly promulgated, but im-
mediately became a mere dead letter. "Talus" means either a person's "ankle-
bone," or the "knuckle-bone" of an animal, which latter was marked with numbers
on four sides, and used by the Greeks and Romans in sets of four for the purpose
of dice. The old man puns on the two meanings, and says, "I'll take care that
your 'tali' (or ankle-bones) are broken, so that" (if we adopt the first meaning)
you shall not cheat at dice iz future," or (if we take the second interpretation)
'you shall not have an opportunity of infringing the public laws."
"Simia,"
which is translated "monkey," is, strictly speaking, "a she-ape;" probably a pre-
sent from the Captain to Philocomasium.
Sc. 11.
77
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
do you take good care that they keep holiday at home with-
out any ankle-bones at all.
PAL. (aside). Something amiss,-what, I know not, has been
done him by our family so far as I can hear, inasmuch as the
old man has ordered the ankles of my fellow-servants to be
broken. But he has excepted me; nothing care I what he
does to the rest of them. I'll accost the old man. (Advances.)
PERIP. The person that is coming this way, is he coming
towards me? He comes as if he was coming to me.
PAL. How do you do, Periplecomenus?
PERIP. There are not many men, if I were to wish, whom
would rather now see and meet with than yourself.
PAL. What's the matter? What disturbance have you
with our family?
PERIP. We are done for.
PAL. What's the matter?
PERIP. The thing's discovered. PAL. What thing's dis-
covered?
PERIP. Some one just now of your household was looking
in from the tiles through our skylight at Philocomasium and
my guest as they were toying together.
PAL. What person saw it?
PERIP. Your fellow-servant. PAL. Which person was it?
PERIP. I don't know; he took himself off so suddenly—in
an instant.
PAL. I suspect I'm ruined. PERIP. When he went away,
I cried: "Hallo! you sir!" said I, "what are you doing
upon the tiles ?" As he went away he replied to me in these
terms, that he was following a stray'd monkey.
PAL. Woe to wretched me! that I must be ruined for a worth-
less beast. But is Philocomasium there with you even still?
PERIP. When I came out, she was there.
PAL. If she is, then bid her return to our house as soon as
ever she can, that the servants may see that she is at home;
unless, indeed, she wishes that we, who are slaves, her fellow-
slaves¹, should all be given up together to tortures by the
cross on account of her courting.
¹ Her fellow-slaves)—Ver. 184. He seems to use the word "contubernales,"
"comrades," or "fellow-slaves," as applying to the relation between Philocoma-
sium and the other slaves in the house; since, falling into the hands of the Captain,
she had become reduced to the condition of a slave. The cross was the instrument
78
Act. II
MILES GLORTOSUS;
PERIP. I bade her do so; unless you would aught else.
PAL. I would. Tell her this: that, by my troth, she must
not hesitate at all to bring in play her skill and cleverness.
PERIP. In what way? PAL. That by her words she may
persuade him who saw her here at your house, that he did not
see her. Should he accuse her, on the other hand let her
convince him with her oath. Even though she were seen a
hundred times over, still let her deny it. (Aside.) For, it
she is at all inclined to ill, a woman never goes begging to
the gardener for material, she has a garden at honic and a
stock of her own for all mischievous contrivances; at home
she has impudence 2, a lying tongue, perfidiousness, malice,
and boldness, self-conceit, assurance, and deceitfulness,-at
home she has wiles, at home captivating contrivances,-
stratagems at home.
1
PERIP. I'll tell her this, if she shall be in-doors here (point-
ing to his knuse). But what is it, Palæstrio, that you are
considering with yourself in your mind?
PAL. Be silent a moment, while I am calling a council in my
mind, and while I am considering what I am to do, what plan
I must contrive, on the other hand, as a match for my crafty
fellow-servant, who has seen her billing here in your house;
so that what was seen may not have been scen.
PERIP. Do contrive one; in the meantime, I'll retire hence
to a distance from you, to this spot. (He relires to a distance.)
Look at him, please (to the AUDIENCE), revolving his cares
with brow severe, how he stands. He strikes his breast with his
of a punishment among the Romans, which was especially inflicted upon slaves. It
was usually in shape like the let er T or X, but there were various other forms of it.
The condemned carried his own cross, and, being first stripped, was either nailed
or bound to it, and in the latter ase was generally left to die of hunger. It must
be remembered that in the time of the Roman Republic the laws did not protect
the person or life of the slaves, who were sometimes very barbarously treated.
¹ Never goes begging)-Ver. 1 0. He uses a rather out-of-the-way similc here;
he means to say, a woman never needs to go to a gardener's, who has a
garden of her own, with a most plentiful stock of artfulness," &c. Some Com-
mentators fancy that he means literally to say that women have always at hand
plenty of poisonous plants for the purposes of mischief, and that they need not the
assistance of the gardener or nurseryman when they wish to carry out their
designs. Such an interpretatio seems, however, to be very far-fetched.
* “
Impudence)-Ver. 192. Os;" literally," "face; similar to a common expres
sion in use with us.
Sc. II.
79
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
fingers I fancy he's about to call his heart outside. See, he
shifts his posture; again he places his left hand upon his left
thigh. His right hand is reckoning down his plans upon his
fingers; in despair he strikes his thigh. His right hand is
moving rapidly¹; with difficulty does it suggest what he is to do.
He snaps his fingers now; he's striving hard; full oft he changes
his position. But see how he shakes his head; it pleases
him not what he has hit upon. Whatever it is, nothing
crude will he bring forth, something well-digested will he pro-
duce. But see, he is building; he has placed his hand as a
pillar beneath his chin. Have done with it! in truth, this
mode of building pleases me not; for I have heard say that the
head of a foreign Poets is wont to be supported thus, over
whom two guards are ever at all hours keeping watch. Bravo!
how becomingly he stands,-i' faith, how like a very slave,
and how faithful to his part. Never, this day, will he rest, before
he has completed that which he is in search of. He has it, I
suspect. Come to the business you're about: keep wide
awake, think not of sleep; unless, indeed, you wish to be
keeping your watch here all checquered o'er with stripes.
'Tis I, that am talking to you; schemer, don't you know that
I am speaking to you? Palæstrio! awake, I say; arouse
yourself, I say; 'tis daylight now, I say.
PAL. I hear you. PERIP. Don't you see that the enemy
¹ Is moving rapidly)-Ver. 201 "Mico" strictly means, "to have a tremulous
motion imparted.' "Micare digitis" properly meant "to play at a game called
'mora,'" in which two persons suddenly raised or compressed the fingers, and at
the same moment each guessed the number of the other. The expression aisc
means, "to determine anything by suddenly raising the fingers," as who is to do
or to have anything.
2 As a pillar)—Ver. 209. He means that Palæstrio looks up in thought, while
his clenched hand is placed, as though it were a pillar peneath his chin.
3 Of a foreign Poet)—Ver. 211. “Barbaro." The speaker being supposed to be
a Greek, and a native of Ionia, he would speak of a Roman as being “barbarus.*
It is generally supposed that Plautus here refers to the Roman poet Nævius, who
had a habit of using this posture, and was, as is thought, at that moment in
prison for having offended, in one of his Comedies, the family of the Metelli. He
was afterwards liberated on having apologised in his plays called Kariolus (the
Wizard) and Leo (the Lion). Periplecomenus thinks that this posture bodes no
good, and is ominous of an evil result.
• Like a very slave)-Ver. 213. He says that the actor is well representing the
character of the slave. The actors themselves, as already remarked, were gene-
rally slaves in the earlier times of the Republic.
80
Act. IL
MILES GLORIOSUS;
is upon you, and that siege is being laid to your back? Take
counsel, then; obtain aid and assistance in this matter; the
hastily, not the leisurely, is befitting here. Get the start of
them in some way, and in some direction this moment lead
around your troops. Close round the enemy in siege; pre-
pare the convoy for our side. Cut off the enemy's provision,
secure yourself a passage, by which supplies and provision
may be enabled in safety to reach yourself and your forces.
Look to this business; the emergency is sudden. Invent
contrive-this instant give us some clever plan; so that that
which has been seen here within, may not have been seen;
that which has been done, may not have been done. There,
my man, you undertake a great enterprise; lofty the defences
which you erect. If you yourself alone but say you under-
take this, I have a certainty that we are able to rout our
foes.
PAL. I do say so, and I do undertake it.
PERIP. And I do pronounce that you shall obtain that
which you desire.
PAL. May Jupiter kindly bless you then!
PERIP. But, friend, do you impart to me the plan which
you have devised.
PAL. Be silent, then, while I am inducting you in the
direction of my devices; that you may know as well as my
own self my plans.
PERIP. The same you shall receive safe from the same
spot where you have deposited them.
PAL. My master is surrounded with the hide of an elephant,
not his own, and has no more wisdom than a stone.
PERIP. I myself know the same thing.
PAL. Now, thus I would begin upon my plan; this con-
trivance I shall act upon. I shall say that her other own
twin-sister has come here from Athens, with a certain per-
son, her lover, to Philocomasium, as like to her as milk is to
milk. I shall say that they are lodged and entertained here
in your house.
PERIP. Bravo! bravo! cleverly thought of. I approve of
your device.
PAL. So that, if my fellow-servant should accuse her be-
fore the Captain, and say that he has seen her here at your
house, toying with another man, I shall assert, on the other
Sc. 11.
81
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
hand, that my fellow-servant has seen the other one, the
sister, at your house, fondling and toying with her own lover.
PERIP. Aye, most excellent. I'll say the same, if the
Captain shall inquire of me.
PAL. But do you say that they are extremely alike; and
this must be imparted in time to Philocomasium, in order
that she may know; that she mayn't be tripping if the
Captain should question her.
PERIP. A very clever contrivance. But if the Captain
should wish to see them both in company together, what
shall we do then?
PAL. That's easy enough. Three hundred excuses may
be picked up she is not at home; she has gone out walk-
ing; she is asleep; she is dressing; she is bathing; she is
at breakfast; she is taking dessert; she is engaged; she is
enjoying her rest; in fact, she can't come.
There are as
many of these put-offs as you like, if I can only persuade him
at the very outset to believe that to be true which shall be
contrived.
PERIP. I like what you say. PAL. Go in-doors then; and
if the damsel's there, bid her return home directly, and instruct
and tutor her thoroughly in this plan, that she may under-
stand our scheme, as we have begun it, about the twin-sister.
PERIP. I'll have her right cleverly tutor'd for you. Is
there anything else?
PAL. Only, be off in-doors.
PERIP. I'm off.
(Exit.
¹ Is at breakfast)—Ver. 252. Among the Romans some began the day with the
"jentaculum," which, however, was in general confined to sick persons, the very
luxurious, or the labouring classes. From Martial we learn that it was taken
about four in the morning, and it can, therefore, hardly have corresponded with
our breakfast. Bread, with cheese or dried fruit, was used at this meal. The
prandium," which is here translated "breakfast," is supposed to have been a
hasty meal, and to have been taken from twelve to one o'clock in the day.
Sometimes was of simple character, while occasionally fish, fruit, and wine formed
part of the repast, in which latter case it would almost correspond with the lun-
cheon of modern times.
"
2 She is taking dessert)-Ver. 252. It was the custom of the Romans, after the
second course of the "coena" or "dinner" was taken away, to have wine on the
table, and to prolong the evening with conversation; perhaps this period is here
referred to as furnishing one of the excuses to be made.
3 Is enjoying her rest)-Ver. 252. "Operæ non est" usually signifies "she is not
at leisure," i.e., "she is busy ;" but here it is thought to mean the reverse," she s
not at work," "she is taking her ease," and consequently cannot be disturbed.
G
82
Act. IL
MILES GLORIOSUS:
SCENE III.
PALESTRIO alone.
PAL. And I'll go home, too; and I'll conceal the fact
that I am giving her my aid in seeking out the man, which
fellow-servant of mine it was, that to-day was following the
monkey. For it cannot be but in his conversation he must
have made some one of the household acquainted about the
lady of his master, how that he himself has seen her next
door here toying with some stranger spark. I know the
habit myself; ♦I can't hold my tongue on that which I know
alone." If I find out the person who saw it, I'll plant
against him all my mantelets and covered works. The
material is prepared; 'tis a sure matter that I must take
this person by force, and by thus besieging him. If so I
don't find the man, just like a hound I'll go smelling about,
even until I shall have traced out the fox by his track.
But our door makes a noise: I'll lower my voice; for here
is the keeper of Philocomasium, my fellow-servant, coming
out of doors. (Stands aside.)

SCENE IV.
Enter SCELEDRUS from the CAPTAIN's house.
SCEL. Unless, in fact, I have been walking this day in
my sleep upon the tiles, i' faith, I know for sure that I
have seen here, at our neighbour's next door, Philocoma-
sium, the lady of my master, on the high road to mischief
to herself.
PAL. (aside). 'Twas he that saw her billing, so far as I
have heard him say.
SCEL. Who's that?
are you, Sceledrus ?
PAL. Your fellow-servant. How
¹ My mantelets)—Ver. 266. "Vinea" was a contrivance used in warfare, made of
timber covered with raw hides to prevent its being burnt, under which the assail-
ants were sheltered in their attempts to scale the walls of a fortification. It
probably answered very nearly to what is called a "mantelet," in the language of
fortification. "Pluteus" was a similar engine, in the form of a turret, and
moving on wheels.
2 On the high road)-Ver. 274. "Sibi malam rem quærire.' Literally, -
soeking a bad job for herself."
Sc. IV.
83
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
SCEL. I am glad that I have met you, Palæstrio.
PAL. What now? Or what's the matter? Let me know.
SCEL. I'm afraid. PAL. What are you afraid of?
SCEL. By my troth, lest, this day, as many domestics as
there are of us here, we shall jump into a most woful punish-
ment by way of torture.
PAL. Jump you alone, please; for I don't at all like this
jumping in¹ and jumping out.
SCEL. Perhaps you don't know what new mischance has
happened at home?
PAL. What mischance is this? SCEL. A disgraceful one.
PAL. Do you then keep it to yourself alone: don't tell it
me; I don't want to know it.
SCEL. But I won't let you not know it. To-day I was fol-
lowing our monkey upon the tiles, next door there. (Points
to the house.)
PAL. By my troth, Sceledrus, a worthless fellow, you were
following a worthless beast.
SCEL. The Gods confound you! PAL. That befits your-
self, since you began the conversation.
SCEL. By chance, as it happened, I looked down there
through the skylight, into the next house; and there I saw
Philocomasium toying with some strange young man, I know
not whom.
PAL. What scandalous thing is this I hear of you, Sce-
ledrus ?
SCEL. I' faith, I did see her, beyond a doubt.
PAL. What, yourself? SCEL. Yes, I myself, with these
eyes of mine.
PAL. Get away, it isn't likely what you say, nor did you
sce her.
SCEL. Do I, then, appear to you as if I were purblind?
PAL. 'Twere better for you to ask the doctor about that.
But, indeed, if the Gods only love you, don't you rashly
father this idle story. Now are you breeding thence a fatal
dilemma for your legs and head; for, in two ways, the cause
¹ This jumping in)-Ver. 280. Some critics think that there is some hidden
meaning or allusion in the words "insulturam" and "desulturam." That hardly
seems to be the case, for Palæstrio might naturally say in return to the warning
of the other," I like neither your jumping in nor your jumping out."
• Rashly father this)-Ver. 293. "Tollas fabulam." This metaphor is borrowed
a 2
84
Act. Il·
MILES GLORIOSUS
is contrived for you to be ruined, unless you put a check
upon your foolish chattering.
SCEL. But how, two ways? PAL. I'll tell you. First
then, if you falsely accuse Philocomasium, by that you are
undone; in the next place, if it is true, having been ap-
pointed her keeper, there you are undone.
SCEL. What may happen to me, I know not; I know for
certain that I did see this.
PAL. Do you persist in it, unfortunate wretch?
SCEL. What would you have me say to you, but that I
did see her? Moreover, she is in there, next door, at this
very moment.
PAL. What! Isn't she at home?
SCEL. Go and see. Go in-doors yourself; for I don't ask
now for any confidence to be put in me.
PAL. I'm determined to do so.
SCEL. I'll wait here for
you. (PALESTRIO goes into the CAPTAIN's house.)
SCENE V.
SCELEDRUS, alone.
SCEL. In this direction will I be on the watch for her, how
soon the heifer may betake herself from the pasture this way
towards her stall. What now shall I do? The Captain
gave me to her as her keeper. Now, if I make a discovery,
I'm undone; if I am silent, still I am undone, if this should
be discovered. What is there more abandoned or more
daring than a woman? While I was upon the tiles, this
woman betook herself out of doors from her dwelling. By
my troth, 'twas a brazen act she did. If, now, the Captain
were to know of this, i' faith, I believe he would pull down the
whole entire house next door, and me he would send to the
gibbet¹. Whatever comes of it, i' faith, I'll hold my tongue
rather than come to a bad end. I cannot keep effectual
guard on a woman that puts herself up for sale.
from the custom arnong the Romans of laying the new-born child upon the ground
upon which it was taken up (tollebatur) by the father, or other person who
tended to stand in the place of parent to it.
"L
To the gibbet)- Ver. 310. "Crucem." Literally, cross
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
85
SCENE VI.
Enter PALESTRIO from the CAPTAIN's house.
PAL. Sceledrus, Sceledrus, what one man Is there on
earth more impudent than yourself? Who more than your-
self has been born with the Deities hostile and enraged?
SCEL. What's the matter? PAL. Do you want those
eyes of yours gouged out, with which you see what never
existed?
SCEL. How, what never existed?
your life at the price of a rotten nut.
SCEL. Why, what's the matter?
ter, do you ask?
PAL. I would not buy
PAL. What's the mat-
SCEL. And why shouldn't I ask? PAL. Why don't you
beg for that tongue of yours to be cut out, that prates so at
random?
SCEL. Why should I beg for that?
PAL. Why, Philocomasium is there at home, she whom
you were saying that you had seen next door kissing and
toying with another man.
SCEL. 'Tis a wonder that you are in the habit of feeding
on darnel¹, with wheat at so low a price.
PAL. Why so? SOEL. Because you are so dim of sight.
PAL. You gallows-bird, 'tis you, indeed, that are blind,
with a vengeance, and not dim of sight; for, sure enough,
there she is at home.
SCEL. How? At home? PAL. At home, i' faith, un-
doubtedly.
SCEL. Be off with you; you are playing with me, Palæstrio
PAL. My hands are dirty, then. SCEL. How so?
PAL. Because I am playing with dirt.
SCEL. A mischief on your head. PAL. Nay rather, Sce-
ledrus, it shall be on yours, I promise you, unless you
¹ Feeding on darnel)-Ver. 321. He means to say that his sight must have failed
him, and, by way of accounting for it, that he must have lived on bread made of
darnel. This grain was supposed not only to cause the person eating to appear as
if intoxicated, but very seriously to affect the eyesight. Ovid says in the Fasti
B. 1., 1. 691, “Let the fields, also, be clear of darnel that weakens the eyes.”
86
Act. II
MILES GLORIOSUS;
change for fresh your eyes and your talk. But our door
made a noise.
SCEL. Well, I shall watch here out of doors; for there is
no way by which she can pass hence in-doors, except through
the front door.
PAL. But there she is, at home. I don't know, Sceledrus,
what mischief is possessing you?
SCEL. I see for my own self, I judge for my own self, I
have especial faith in my own self: no man shall frighten me
out of it, but that she is in that house. (Points to the house of
PERIPLECOMENUS.) Here I'll take my stand, that she may
not steal out home without my knowledge.
PAL. (aside). This fellow is in my hands; now will I drive
him from his strong hold. (To SCELEDRUS.) Do you wish
me now to make you own that you don't see correctly?
SCEL. Come, do it then. PAL. And that you neither
think aright in your mind, nor yet make use of your eyes?
SCEL. I'd have you do it. PAL. Do you say, then, that
the lady of your master is there in that house?
SCEL. I assert, as well, that I saw her here in this house
(points to the house of PERIPLE COMENUS), toying with a
strange man.
PAL. Don't you know that there is no communication
between our house here and that one?
SCEL. I know it. PAL. Neither by the terrace¹, nor by
the garden, only through the skylight?
SCEL. I know it. PAL. What then, if she is now at home?
If I shall make her, so as you may see her, come out hence
from our house, are you not deserving of many a lashing?
SCEL. I am so deserving. PAL. Watch that door, then,
that she may not privily betake herself out thence without
vour knowledge and pass here into our house.
SCEL. 'Tis my intention to do so. PAL. Upon her feet2
will I place her this moment here before you in the street.
SCEL. Come, then, and do so. (PALESTRIO goes into the
CAPTAIN'S house.)
¹ By the terrace)-Ver. 340. "Solarium" was either a balcony or terrace before
a house, or on the top of it, which was exposed to the sun. People walked there in
the cool of the evening. It was from a "solarium" that David first saw Batb-
sheba.
2 Upon her feet)—Ver. 344. Lindemann thinks that "pede” here means “upog
Sc. Vill.
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
SCENE VII.
SCELEDRUS alone.
SCEL. I wish to know, whether I did see that which I did
see, or whether he can do that which he says he can do-
make her to be at home. For, really, I have eyes of my
own, and I don't ask to borrow them out of doors. But
this fellow is for ever fawning about her; he is always near
her; he is called first to meat, his mess is given¹ to him
first. For this fellow has been, perhaps, about three years
with us; nor fares it better with any other servant in our
family than with him. But it is necessary for me to mind
what I am about; to keep my eye upon this door. If I take
my station here, this way, i' faith, I warrant they will never
impose on me.
SCENE VIII.
Enter PALESTRIO and PHILOCOMASIUM from the CAPTAIN'S
house.
PAL. (speaking to her in a low voice as he enters). Be
sure to remember my instructions.
PHIL. (aside). It's strange you should so often remind me.
PAL. (aside). But I fear you may not prove cunning enough.
PHIL. (aside). Give me even ten scholars, though far from
artful, I could instruct them so as to prove artful; in me alone
is there a superabundance of artfulness: come, then, now put
your plans in force; I'll step aside here. (Steps aside.)
PAL. What have you to say, Sceledrus ?
SCEL. (not lifting up his eyes). I'm about this business of
mine: I have got ears, say what you please.
her feet;" as much as to say, "I'll bring her to you on her feet and not standing
on her head." The true meaning of the passage seems to be, "I'll bring her to
you standing upon 'terra firma,' and not flying with wings, as you seem to expect."
¹ His mess is given)—Ver. 349. The "pulmentum," or food of the slaves, usually
consisted of salt, fish, oil, vinegar, and the olives that were windfalls. This food
received its name from being eaten with a kind of porridge made from meal of
pnise, which was generally eaten before bread was used, and probably continued t›
De the food of the slaves.
MILES GLORIOSUS;
Act. II.
PAL. I think that in that self-same position¹ you will have
to die outside the gates, when, with hands outstretched, you
will be carrying your cross.
SCEL. For what reason so ?
hand; who is that lady?
PAL. Just look on your left
SCEL. (looking). O ye immortal Gods, it really is the lady
of my master!
PAL. I' faith, so she seems to me as well. Do then, now,
since so you would have it-
SCEL. Do what?
PAL. Die this very instant.
PHIL. (advancing). Where is this faithful servant, who
has falsely accused me in my innocence of this most heinous
crime?
PAL. See, here he is; 'tis he that told it me,-assuredly
'twas he.
PHIL. Villain, did you say that you had seen me next
door here kissing?
PAL. Besides, he said it was with some strange young
man.
SCEL. I' faith, I did say so, undoubtedly.
PHIL. You, saw me? SCEL. Yes, with these self-same eyes.
PHIL. I fancy you will lose those eyes, which see more
than what they really do see.
SCEL. By my faith, I shall never be intimidated from
having seen what I really did see.
PHIL. In my foolishness I am delaying too long in parley-
ing with this madman, whom, by the powers, I'll punish with
death.
SOEL. Forbear to threaten me: I know that the cross will
prove my tomb; there are laid my forefathers, my father,
grandfather, great-grandfather, great-great-grandfather. 'Tis
not in possibility, however, for these eyes of mine to be dug
out2 by your threats. But I want a few words with you;
prithee, Palæstrio, whence came she hither?
In that self-same position)-Ver. 359. Sceledrus is standing before the door with
both arms stretched out that Philocomasium may not come out without his know-
ing. Palæstrio tells him, that when he comes to be fastened on the cross for his
negligence, he will have to assume that attitude. The gate here alluded to is sup-
posed to have been the Esquiline, or Metian gate at Rome, a place near which
was devoted to the punishment of slaves. Athens and other Greek cities had
'the gate of Charon," through which malefactors passed to punishment.
2 To be dug out)-Ver. 374. That is, "you cannot make me not tu sean
what I really did see.”
Sc. VIII.
89
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
PAL. Whence but from our house?
house ?
SCEL. From our
PAL. Do you credit me¹? SCEL. I do credit you: but
'tis a thing to be wondered at, how she has been able to re-
turn from that house to ours. For, beyond a doubt, we have
neither a terrace to our house, nor any garden, nor any
window but what is latticed. (To PHILOCOMASIUM.) But,
undoubtedly, I did see you in the house next door.
PAL. Do you persist, you rascal, in pretending to accuse
her?
PHIL. In good sooth, then, the dream has not turned out
untrue, that I dreamed last night.
PAL. What did you dream? PHIL. I'll tell you; but, J
pray you, give attention. Last night, in
Last night, in my sleep, my twin-
sister seemed to have come from Athens to Ephesus with a
certain person, her lover. Both of them seemed to me to be
having their lodgings here next door.
PAL. (to the AUDIENCE). The dream that's being related
is Palæstrio's-pray, go on.
PHIL. I seemed to be delighted because my sister had come,
and on her account I seemed to be incurring a most grievous
suspicion. For, in my sleep, my own servant seemed to
accuse me, as you are now doing, of being caressed by a
strange young man, whereas it was that own twin-sister of
mine, who had been toying with her own friend. Thus did
I dream that I was wrongfully accused of a crime.
PAL. And isn't just the same thing befalling you when
awake, that you speak of as seen in your sleep? Capital;
i' faith, the dream is verified: go in-doors, and prays. I
should recommend that this be told to the Captain.
1 Do you credit me)-Ver. 364. "Viden ?" Literally, "do you look at me?”
The Romans, when they wished to impress any one with the belief that they
were speaking seriously and in good faith, used this phrase, or "vide me,” “look
at me now." Our expression, "do you look me in the face and say so?" is
somewhat similar.
2 But what is latticed)-Ver. 379. The "clathri" were a kind of lattice or trelis-
work, which, as well as network, was sometimes placed before windows to prevent
serpents and other noxious reptiles from getting in.
³ And pray)—Ver. 894. After any ill-omened dream, it was the custom to offer
corn and frankincense to Jupiter Prodigialis, "the disposer of prodigies," and other
of the Deities, in order that evil might be averted.
90
Act II
MILES GLORIOSUS;
PHIL. I am resolved to do so; nor, in fact, will I allow
myself, with impunity, to be accused of disgraceful conduct.
(Goes into the CAPTAIN's house.)
SCENE IX.
SCELEDRUS, PALESTRIO.
SCEL. I fear for the thing I have done; my back does so
tingle all over.
PAL. Are you not aware that you are done for?
SCEL. Now, indeed, I'm sure she is at home; I am now
resolved to watch our door, wheresoever she may be. (Places
himself at the door.)
PAL. But, prithee, Sceledrus, how very like the dream she
dreamt to what has happened; and how you really did believe
that you had seen her kissing.
*
*
**
SCEL. And do you suppose that I didn't see her?
*
PAL. I' faith, I verily believe you'll come to your senses
when 'tis too late. If this matter should only reach our
master, you certainly are undone.
SCEL. Now, at length, I find out that there was a mist
placed before my eyes.
PAL. I' faith, that really has been plain for some time now;
as she was here in-doors all the while.
SCEL. Not a word of certainty have I to utter; I did not
see her, although I did see her.
PAL. By my troth, through this folly of yours you certainly
have nearly ruined us; while you have wished to prove yourself
faithful to your master, you have been almost undone. But
the door of our next neighbour makes a noise; I'll be silent.
SCENE X.
Enter PHILOCOMASIUM¹, dressed in another habit, from the
house of PERIPLECOMENUS.
PHIL. (to a servant SERVANT). Put fire on the altar, that
¹ Philocomasium) Sceledrus having been duly prepared, Philocomasium ap-
pears as her twin-sister, who is supposed to have come the day before from Athens
to Ephesus, and gives directions about returning thanks for having landed in
safety. As the circumstance of the communication between the houses is known
to the Audience, and is not suspected by Sceledrus, his embarrassment is highly
diverting, and very cleverly depicted.
Sc. X.
91
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
in my joy I may return praises and thanks to Diana or
Ephesus, and that I may send up for her a grateful smoke
with odours of Arabia: she who has preserved me in the
realms of Neptune and amid the boisterous temples¹, where
with raging billows I have been so recently dismayed.
SCEL. (discovering her). Palæstrio! O Palæstrio!
PAL. Sceledrus! O Sceledrus! What is it you want?
SCEL. This lady that has come out of that house just now
-is she Philocomasium, our master's lady, or is she not ?
PAL. I' faith, I think, it seems to be she. But 'tis a
wondrous thing how she could pass from our house to next
door; if, indeed, it is she.
SCEL. And have you any doubt that this is she?
PAL. It seems to be she. SCEL. Let us approach her, and
accost her. Hallo! how's this, Philocomasium? What is
there owing to you in that house? What is your business
there? Why are you silent now? I am speaking to you.
PAL. No, faith, you are talking to yourself; for nothing at
all does she answer.
SCEL. I am addressing you, woman, brimful of viciousness
and disgrace, who are roaming about among your neighbours.
PHIL. To whom are you talking? SCEL. To whom but to
yourself?
PHIL. What person are you? Or what business have you
with me?
SCEL. O, you ask me who I am, do you?
PHIL. Why shouldn't I ask that which I don't know?
PAL. Who am I, then, if you don't know him?
PHIL. You are an annoyance to me, whoever you are, both
you and he.
SCEL. What? don't you know us? PHIL. No, neither of you.
SCEL. I very much fear- PAL. What do you fear?
SCEL. Why, that we have lost ourselves somewhere or
other; for she says that she knows neither you nor me.
PAL. I wish, Sceledrus, to examine into this, whether we
are ourselves, or else some other persons; lest secretly some-
how some one of our neighbours may have transformed us
without our knowing it.
¹ Boisterous temples)-Ver. 413. In the language of the Poets, Neptune and the
inferior Sea Divinities are supposed to have their temples and abodes in the sea
and rivers.
92
Act II.
MILES GLORIOSUS;
SCEL. For my part, beyond a doubt, I am my own self.
PAL. I' faith, and so am I. SCEL. My lady, you are
seeking your destruction. To you I am speaking; hark you,
Philocomasium!
PHIL. What craziness possesses you, to be calling me
wrongly by a crackjaw name¹?
SCEL. How now! What are you called, then?
PHIL. My name is Glycera. SCEL. For a bad purpose,
Philocomasium, you wish to have a wrong name.
Away with
you, shocking woman; for most notably are you doing a
wrong to my master.
PHIL. I? SCEL. Yes, you.
PHIL. I, who arrived from Athens yesterday evening at
Ephesus, with my lover, a young man of Athens ?
SCEL. Tell me, what business have you here in Ephesus?
PHIL. I bad heard that my own twin-sister is here in
Ephesus; I came here to look for her.
SCEL. You're a good-for-nothing woman.
PHIL. Yes, i' faith, I am a very foolish one to be parleying
with you fellows. I am going.
SCEL. I won't let you go. (Catches hold of her.)
PHIL. Let me go.
I won't let you go.
SCEL. You are discovered in the fact.
PHIL. But my hands shall just now sound again against
your cheek, if you don't let me go.
SCEL. (to PALESTRIO). Why the plague are you standing
idle? Why don't you hold her on the other side?
PAL. I don't choose to bring the business down upon my
back. How do I know but that this is not Philocomasium,
but is some other female that resembles her?
PHIL. Will you let me go, or will you not let me go?
SCEL. No; by force and against your will, in spite of you,
I'll drag you home, unless you'll go of your own accord.
PHIL. (pointing to the house of PERIPLECOMENUS). This is
my lodging here abroad2, at Athens is my home.
per-
¹ Crackjaw name)-Ver. 434. "Perplexo nomine." The Commentators seem
to think that this means no more than "by my wrong name." The word
plexo" seems, however, to refer to the extreme length of the name, as well as the
fact that it does not belong to her.
? Lodging here abroad)—Ver. 450. “Hosticum domicilium," "my lodging wher
abroad." "Hostis" originally meant merely "a foreigner;" whereas its later sig·
nification was an enemy."
St. XII.
93
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
SCEL. But your master lives here (pointing to the CAP-
TAIN's house).
PHIL. I have nothing to do with that house, nor do I
know or understand yourselves what persons you are.
SCEL. Proceed against me¹ at law. I'll never let you go,
until you give me your solemn word that you will go in-
doors here (pointing to the CAPTAIN's house) if I let go of
you.
PHIL. You are compelling me by force, whoever you are.
I give you my word, that if you let go of me, I will go into
that house where you bid me.
SCEL. Then, now I let go of you. PHIL. And, as I'm let
go, I'll go in here. (Runs into the house of PERIPLECO-
MENUS.)
SCENE XI.
SCELEDRUS, PALESTRIO.
SCEL. She has acted with a woman's honour.
PAL. Sceledrus, you've lost the prey through your
hands; as sure as possible she is the lady of our master.
Do
you intend to act in this matter with spirit?
SCEL. How am I to act? PAL. Bring me a sword out here
from in-doors.
SCEL. What will you do with it?
PAL. I'll break right into the house; and whatever man
I see in-doors there caressing Philocomasium, I'll behead
him on the spot.
SCEL. And do you think that it was she?
PAL. I' faith, it was she, sure enough. SCEL. But how
she did dissemble.
PAL. Go, bring me a sword out here.
SCEL. I'll have it here thismoment. (Goes into the CAP-
TAIN's house.)
SCENE XII.
PALESTRIO alone.
PAL. Beyond a doubt, neither any horse nor foot has so
¹ Proceed against me)-Ver. 453. "Lege agito." "Lege agere" was a technical
expression, meaning "to bring an action," or "to sue a person at law." It is said
to have been the formal expression in commencing an action or suit.
2 Into the house)-Ver. 460. The mock rage of Palæstrio here is admirably
drawn
94
Act IL
MILES GLORIOSUS;
great a degree of boldness in carrying out anything with
as much confidence as some women. How cleverly and how
skilfully she performed her part in both her characters!
-how her wary keeper, my fellow-servant, is being gulled!
'Tis most fortunate that the passage communicates through
the party-wall.
SCENE XIII.
Enter SCELEDRUS from the CAPTAIN's house.
SCEL. Hallo! Palæstrio, there's no occasion for the sword.
PAL. How so?—or what's the matter now?
SCEL. Our master's lady is there, at home.
PAL. What? At home? SCEL. She's lying on the sofa.
PAL. Faith, but you've certainly brought on yourself a
disagreable affair, according to what you report.
SCEL. How so? PAL. Inasmuch as you have dared to
touch that lady next door here.
SCEL. I' faith, I fear it much.
But no one shall ever make
her to be any other than her own twin-sister.
PAL. 'Twas she, in troth, that you saw toying: and, in
fact, 'tis plain that it is she, as you remark.
SCEL. What was there more likely than that I should have
been undone, if I had spoken of it to my master.
It
PAL. Then, if you're wise, you'll hold your tongue.
befits a servant to know of more than he speaks. I'm going
to leave you, that I may not at all participate in your de-
signs. And I shall go to our neighbour here; these turmoils
of yours don't please me. My master, if he comes, should he
inquire for me, I shall be there; send for me next door. (Goes
into the house of PERIPLECOMENUS.)
SCENE XIV.
SCELEDRUS, alone.
SCEL. Well, he's off; nor cares he any more for his master's
business than if he were not in his service. For sure she
really is now here in-doors in the house, for I myself found
her just now lying down in our house. I am resolved now
to employ myself in watching. (Places himself against the
CAPTAIN'S door.)
Sc. XV.
95
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
แ
SCENE XV.
Enter PERIPLE COMENUS from his house.
PERIP. Faith, but these men here, these servants of my
neighbour the Captain, take me not to be a man, but a woman,
so much do they trifle with me. My lady guest, who came
here yesterday from Athens with the gentleman, my guest, is
she to be mauled about and made fun of here in the street-
a lady, free-born and free ?
SOEL. (aside). By my troth, I'm undone. He's coming
in a straight line up towards me. I fear that this matter
may cause me great trouble, so far as I have heard this old
gentleman speak.
PERIP. I'll up to this fellow. Was it you, Sceledrus,
source of mischief, that were just now making fun of my lady
guest before the house?
SCEL. Good neighbour, listen, I beg. PERIP. I, listen
to you?
SCEL. I wish to clear myself. PERIP. You, clear yourself
to me, who have done an action so gross and so unbecoming?
And because you are soldiers¹, do you suppose, you gallows-
bird, that you may do what you like with us?
SCEL. May I—— ?
? PERIP. But so may all the Gods and
Goddesses prosper me, if a punishment with the rod² is not
given to you at my request, a long and lasting one, from
morning to evening; because you have been breaking my
gutters and my tiles, while you were following there a
monkey like your own self; because, too, you have been
peeping down from there at my guest in my house, when
he was caressing and fondling his mistress; besides, you have
¹ Because you are soldiers)—Ver. 499. He alludes to the lawless character of
the mercenary soldier, whose name, "latro," came afterwards to be applied to rob-
bers and cut-throats of all descriptions. It may be here remarked, that the word
miles," which is applied throughout the play to their master, the Captain, is a
general term for one following the profession of arms, whether officer or private.
The word is translated "Captain," without reference to his rank, any further than
that he was a commanding officer.
2 With the rod)-Ver. 502. The slaves were more frequently beaten with
flagra," or whips;" but they were sometimes scourged with "virgæ," or
'rods." This was done by the "lorarius," a slave who was kept for the purpose
• Like your own cel-Ver. 505. "Condignam te;" literally, "worthy," or de
erving of yourself.
96
Act IL
MILES GLORIOSUS;
you
dared to accuse the chaste lady of your master of criminality,
and myself of a heinous offence; and further, because
have dared to maul about my lady guest before my house.
If the punishment of the whip is not given to you, I will cause
your master to be more laden with disgrace than the sea is full
of waves in a heavy storm.
SCEL. I am driven to such straits, Periple comenus, that I
don't know whether it is fitter for me rather to dispute this
matter with you, or whether, if she is not our lady, and if our
lady was not seen by me, it seems more proper for me to
excuse myself to you; as even now I don't know which I saw,
o like is that guest of yours to our lady-if, indeed, she is
not the same person.
PERIP. Go into my house and look: you'll soon see.
SCEL. May I go? PERIP. Why, I command you; go and
examine at your leisure.
SCEL. I am determined to do so.
PERIPLECOMENUS.)
SCENE XVI,
(Goes into the house of
PERIPLECOMENUS.
PERIP. (probably looking up to a window in the CAPTAIN'S
house). Ho! Philocomasium¹! pass instantly, with all speed,
into my house; 'tis absolutely necessary. Afterwards, when
Sceledrus shall have come out from my house, pass quickly,
¹ Philocomasium)-Ver. 522. Directly Sceledrus turns his back, the old man calls
out for Philocomasium, who is supposed at that moment to be in the Captain's
house. How he does so is somewhat of a mystery to the Commentators. Thornton,
in his translation, suggests that he calls through the window, where it is natural to
imagine that Philocomasium might be stationed within hearing to observe all that
passed. He could hardly, however, call "through" the window of the ground-
for, as these were generally more than six feet from the ground; and, indeed,
there were rarely any windows at all on the basement. It is most likely that
Philocomasium is hidden behind the "clatri" or "lattice" of the window in her
room on the first-floor, whence she observes all that passes. In a future line we
find Acroteleutium and Milphidippa owning that they had been watching from
the window what was going on outside. Selimieder thinks that the whole plan
having been prearranged between Periplecomenus and Philocomasium, he merely
on this occasion makes a sign to her, the meaning of which is here expressed in
words, and he supposes, what it does not deem necessary to suppose, that his ser-
vants have been ordered to delay Sceledrus, so as to give time to the damsel te
pass through into his house.
Sc. XVIII.
97
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
with all haste, back again to your own house. By my troth,
now, I'm afraid she'll be making some blunder. Should he
not see the woman
* My door opens.
**
*
*
SCENE XVII.
Enter SCELEDRUS from the house of PERIPLECOMENUS.
SCEL. O ye immortal Gods! A woman more like, and more
the same, who is not the same, I do not think the Gods could
make.
PERIP. What now? SCEL. I certainly merit chastisement.
PERIP. What then? Is it she? SCEL. Although 'tis she,
'tis not she.
SCEL. I have seen both
PERIP. Have you seen this lady?
her and the gentleman, your guest, caressing and kissing.
PERIP. Is it she? SCEL. I know not.
PERIP. Would you know for certain ?
like to.
SCEL. I should
PERIP. Go you this instant into your own house: see
whether your lady is within.
SCEL. Very well: you've advised me rightly. I'll be out
again to you this instant.
this instant. (Goes into the CAPTAIN's house.)
PERIP. I' faith, I never saw any man more cleverly fooled,
and by more singular devices. But here he is coming.
SCENE XVIII.
Enter SCELEDRUS from the CAPTAIN's house.
SOEL. Periplecomenus, by Gods and men, and by my own
folly, and by your knees! I do beseech you-
PERIP. What now? SCEL. Pardon my ignorance and
my folly; now, at length, I know that I am half-witted,
blind, and thoughtless; for, behold! Philocomasium is at
home.
PERIP. How, then, hang-dog¹. Have you seen them both?
SCEL. I have seen them. PERIP. I wish you to bring
your master to me.
¹ Hang-dog)—Ver. 545. "Furcifer." Literally, "bearer of the 'furca.'" Slaves
are repeatedly thus called in these plays, as, by way of punishment for their mis-
deeds, they were compelled to carry a "furca," or two pieces of wood shaped like the
etter V, round their necks, with their hands tied to the ends of the instrument.
H
98
Act II.
MILES GLORIOSUS;
SCEL. Indeed, I confess that I deserve a very great
punishment; and I own that I have done a wrong to your
lady guest. But I thought that she was the lady of my
master, to whom the Captain, my master, gave me as a
keeper; for it is not possible for water ever to be drawn more
like to water from the same well, than is she to this lady
guest of yours. And I will confess, as well, that I did look
through the skylight into your house.
PERIP. Why shouldn't you confess what I saw myself?
SCEL. And there saw in your house this lady guest of
yours, kissing.
PERIP. You saw her? SCEL. I saw her. Why should I
deny what I did see? But I fancied that I had seen Philoco-
masium.
PERIP. And did you suppose me to be the very vilest
of all men, in allowingl, with my own knowledge, such an
injury so glaringly to be done to my neighbour?
SCEL. Now, at length, I am of opinion that it was done
foolishly by me, when I come to understand the matter; but
still I did not do it with any ill intent.
PERIP. Yes, but 'twas improperly done; for it befits a
person that is a servant to keep his eyes, and hands, and
talk, asleep.
SCEL. Now, if after this day I mutter anything, even what
I know for certain, give me over to torture; I'll give myself
up to you. This time, prithee, do pardon me for this.
PERIP. I shall subdue my feelings, so as to think that it
was not done by you with malicious intent. I will pardon
you in this matter.
SCEL. May the Gods bless you, then!
PERIP. Troth now, as the Gods may prosper you, really
do restrain your tongue henceforth; even that which you
do know, don't know, and don't you see what you do see.
SCEL. You counsel me aright; so I'm resolved to do. Are
you quite appeased?
PERIP. Away with you.
now require of me?
SCEL. Is there aught else you
PERIP. That you would know me not. (Makes as if ho
is departing.)
In allowing)-Ver. 559. The old gentleman must surely have changed colou
when he said this.
Se. XIX.
99
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN,
SOEL. (aside). He has been cajoling me. How kindly he
vouchsafed his favour not to be angry. I know what plan
he is upon that directly the Captain returns home from
the Forum, I may be caught at home. He and Palæstrio to-
gether have me in their power: I have perceived that, and
for some time I've known it. I' faith, never will I be seek-
ing a bait this day from out of that wicker-net¹.
For now
somewhither will I betake myself, and for some days will I
lie concealed until this turmoil is hushed and their resent-
ment is softened. Enough punishment for my unlucky pra-
ting have I already merited. But still, whatever befals me,
I'll be off hence home. (Goes into the CAPTAIN's house.)
SCENE XIX.
PERIPLECOMENUS, alone.
PERIP. So he has departed hence. I' faith, I know right
well, that a dead pig full oft has more relish by far than a
living one: so bamboozled has he been, that he did not see
what he really did see. For his eyes, and ears, and thoughts
have come over to us. So far, 'tis right cleverly managed;
the lady has played her part most excellently. I'll go back
again to my Senate³; for Palæstrio is now at home in my
house, and now Sceledrus is gone from the door. A ful
Senate can now be held. I'll go in; lest while I am absent,
there should be a distribution of their parts among them.
(Goes into his house.)
¹ That wicker-net)-Ver. 581. The "nassa" was a contrivance, by means of joining
willow rods, for catching fish. It was probably somewhat in the shape of a large
bottlo with a narrow mouth, which was placed with a bait in it, facing the current
of the stream. See the Halicuticon of Ovid, 1. 11.
2 Has more relish)-Ver. 587. He "puns" on the word " sapis;" and probably
this was a common saying of the day. "Sapio" means either "to be wise," or "to
have a relishing flavour." Now, inasmuch as the flesh of the pig is of a relishing
nature, it may be very truly said, that it has more of the "sapit" in it when dead
than alive. In reference to Sceledrus, he seems to mean that he will prove of
much more use to their plan now he is bewildered and half deprived of his senses,
than when in full possession of his faculties; and that, in fact, so far as their object
is concerned, there will be more of the "sapit" in him now than there was beforз.
3 To my Senate)—Ver. 592. He calls his fellow-plotters in the mischief, namely,
Palæstrio, Philocomasium, and Pleusicles, his Senate, which is now meeting in
consultation. When sitting in deliberation, the Senate was said to be "frequens
which may be rendered "sitting," or "full."
+ Be a distribution)-Ver. 595. "Sortitus," or "sortitio 'was the 2.stribution by
# Ż
100
Act IIL
MILES GLORIOSUS;
ACT THE THIRD.
SCENE I
Enter PALESTRIO from the house of PERIPLECOMENUS.
PAL. (on entering he calls to PLEUSICLES and PERIPLE-
COMENUS, who are in the house of the latter). Keep yourselves
within¹ doors, yet a moment, Pleúsicles. Let me first
look out, that there may be no ambush anywhere, against
that council which we intend to hold. For now we have
need of a safe place from which no enemy can win the spoils
of our counsels. For a well-devised plan is very often filched
away, if the place for deliberating has not been chosen with
care or with caution; and what is well-advised is ill-advised
if it proves of use to the enemy; and if it proves of use to
the enemy, it cannot otherwise than prove a detriment to
yourself. For if the enemy learn your plans, by your own
self-same plans they tie your tongue and bind your hands;
and they do the very same to you that you intended to do to
them. But I'll spy about, lest any one, either in this direc..
tion on the left or on the right, should come like a huntsman
on our counsels with his ears like toils¹. (Looks about.)
Quite vacant is the prospect hence right to the bottom of the
street. I'll call them out. Hallo! Periplecomenus and
Pleusicles, come out!
SCENE II.
Enter PERIPLECOMENUS and PLEUSICLES from the house of
the former.
PERIP. Behold us here obedient to your call.
the Senate of the Roman provinces among the Proconsuls. He keeps up the Me-
taphor of the Senate, and says, that he must make haste, or all the provinces will
be distributed; or, in other words, that each party will have agreed on the part
he has to play, and will leave him nothing to do.
¹ Keep yourselves within)—Ver. 596. There was but one Scene throughout the
representation of each Roman Comedy. In the present instance, the Scene
is in front of the houses of Periplecomenus and the Captain. Nothing can more
strikingly show the absurdity of such a plan than the present instance: where
Palæstrio comes out of the house of Periplecomenus, for the very purpose, right in
front of the house of his own master, of holding a conversation and completing his
plot with Pleusicles and Periplecomenus, for the purpose of deceiving his master
and carrying off his mistress. With machinery so defective, it is only surprising
that the writer completed his task so well as he has done.
2 Ears like toils-Ver 608. Auritis plagis" literally "toils with ears."
Sc. II.
101
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
PAL. The sway is easy over the good. But I wish to know,
f we are to carry out the matter on the same plan that we
formed within ?
PERIP. Why, in fact there's nothing can be more condu-
cive to our purpose. Well, what say you, Pieusicles ?
PLEUS. Can that displease me which pleases yourselves?
What person is there more my friend than your own self?
PERIP. You speak kindly and obligingly. PAL. Faith,
and so he ought to do.
PLEUS. But this affair shockingly distresses me, and tor-
ments my very heart and body.
PERIP. What is it that torments you? Tell me.
PLEUS. That I should cause childish actions in a person of
your years, and that I should require of you deeds that neither
become yourself nor your virtues; and that, with all your might,
for my sake you are striving to aid me in my passion, and
are doing actions of such a kind, as, when done, these years of
yours are wont rather to avoid than follow. I am ashamed
that I cause you this trouble in your old age.
If,
PERIP. You are a person in love after a new fashion.
in fact, you are ashamed of anything you do, you are nothing
of a lover. You are rather the shadow of those who are in love,
than a true lover, Pleusicles.
PLEUS. Ought I to employ these years of yours in second-
ing my love?
PERIP. How say you? Do I seem to you so very much a
subject for Acheron¹? So much a bier's-man2? Do I seem
to you to have had so very long a life? Why, really, I am
not more than four-and-fifty years old; I see clearly with my
eyes, I'm ready with my hands, I'm active with my feet.
PAL. If he is seen by you to have white hair, he is by no
means an old man in mind; in him the natural strength of
his mind is unimpaired.
1 Subject for Acheron) - Ver. 627. "Acherunticus," "an inhabitant of Acne-
ron," meaning "one on the very verge of the grave.'
แ
2 A bier's-man) —Ver. 628. The bodies of the more respectable people were car-
tied to the grave on a kind of couch, which was called "feretrum," or capulus;"
whence the present term "capularis," "a subject for the 'capulus.'" The bodies
of poor citizens and slaves were carried on a kind of bier, called "sandapila."
Oudendorf and Becker think, however, that the word "capulus" means
coffin” of wood or of stone, and not the same as “feretrum,'
feretrum," "a couch, or bier."
The old gentleman is very naturally somewhat offended at the remark o. Pu
ciclos.
102
Act III.
MILES GLORIOSUS;
PLEUS. By my troth, for my part, I have found it to be sc
as you say, Palæstrio; for, in fact, his kindness is quite that
of a young man.
PERIP. Yes, my guest, the more you make trial of it, the
more you will know my courtesy towards you in your love.
PLEUS. What need to know what's known already?
PERIP. I'll show you more amiability on my part than I'L
make mention of *
*
**
**
*
*
**
that you may have instances for proving it at home, and not
have to seek it out of doors. For unless one has loved him-
self, with difficulty he sees into the feelings of one in love.
But I have some little love and moisture in my body still,
and not yet am I dried up for the pursuits of merriment and
pleasure. Either the merry banterer likewise, or the agreable
boon-companion will I be; no interrupter of another am I at
a feast. Ì bear in mind how properly to keep myself from
proving disagreable to my fellow-guests; and how to take a
due share with my conversation, and to be silent as well in my
turn, when the discourse belongs to another. Far from being
a spitter or hawker am I, far from being a dirty-nosed old
fellow, too. And never do I take liberties with any person's
mistress when out in company; I don't snatch
I don't snatch up the dainty
bits before another, nor take the cup before my turn; nor,
through wine, do dissensions ever arise on my account at the
convivial board. If there is any one there that is disagreable, I
go off home; I cut the parley short. Stretched at my ease, I
devote myself to pleasure, love, and mirth. In fine, at Ephesus
was I born, not among the Apulians, not at Animula¹
PLEUS. O what a most delightful old man, if he possesses
the qualities he mentions! Why, troth, surely now, he was
brought up in the very rearing of Venus.
PAL. Why, in fact, you will not find another person who
is of his years, more accomplished in every respect, or who is
more a friend to his friend.
PLEUS. By my troth, your whole manners really do show
¹ At Animula)-Ver. 654. The people of Apulia, in the south of Italy, were noted
for their clownish manners. Animula, as we learn from Festus, was a little
town in that country; probably its inhabitants were the most remarkable of all
for their rusticity. Absurdities and anachronisms not unfrequently occur in ozr
author. There is something absurd in a merry old gentleman of Ephesus going al
the way to Animula for a simile.
Sc. II.
103
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
marks of first-rate breeding. Find me three men of such
manners against a like weight in double-distilled gold¹.
PERIP. I'll make you confess that I really am a youngster
in my manners; so abounding in kindnesses will I prove
myself to you in every respect.
have need of an
every respect. Should you
advocate, severe or fierce ? I am he. Have you need of one that
is gentle? You shall say that I am more gentle than the sea
is when hush'd, and something more balmy will I prove than
is the Zephyr breeze2. In this same person will I display to
you either the most jovial boon-companion, or the first-rate
trencher-man³, and the best of caterers. Then, as for dancing,
there is no ballet-master that is so supple as I.
PAL. (to PLEUSICLES). What could you wish added to these
accomplishments, if the option were given you?
PLEUS. That thanks could be returned by me to him in
degree equal to his deserts, and to yourself, to both of whom
I feel that I am now the cause of extreme anxiety. But it is
grievous to me to be the cause of so great expense to you.
PERIP. You are a simpleton. For, if you lay anything
out on a bad wife and upon an enemy, that is an expense;
that which is laid out on a deserving guest and a friend is
gain; as that, which is expended upon sacred rites, is a
profit to the wise man. By the blessing of the Gods, I have
enough, with which to receive you with hospitality in my
house. Eat, drink, indulge your tastes with me, and surfeit
yourself with enjoyments; my house is at your service, myself
¹ Double-distilled gold)-Ver. 660. "Aurichalco" probably signifies here, as in
some other passages, a fabulous metal of more value than even gold. "Orichalcum,"
however, properly means either one of the ores of copper, or a metallic compound
much used by the ancients, which was probably brass, formed by the combination of
zinc ore and copper. Supposing gold to be one of its constituents, they corrupted its
original name, "orichalcum," into "aurichalcum." The former word is supposed
by the author of the article "orichalcum," in Dr. Smith's Dictionary, to have been a
compound of ὄρος and χαλκός, "mountain bronze," so called from fusing
copper with an ore as found in the mountains. "Contra," in this sentence, has
the meaning of "to" or "against," in staking for a bet: "three men against
their weight in gold;""a horse to a hen," as the betting men sometimes say.
2 The Zephyr breeze)—Ver. 665. Laterally, "Favonius," one of the names of
the West wind.
3 First-rate trencher-man)-Ver. 667. "Parasitus " cannot be here intended to
be used in a bad sense, as he is speaking of his own merits. It must mean "a boon.
compnion o "jolly fellow."
"
104
Act. III.
MILES GLORIOSUS;
likewise do I wish to be at your service. For, through the
blessing of the Gods, I may say that, by reason of my wealth,
I could have married a dowered wife of the best family; but
I don't choose to introduce an everlasting female barker at
me into my house.
PLEUS. Why don't you choose? For 'tis a delightful thing
to be the father of children [liberos].
PERIP. Troth, 'tis very much sweeter by far to be freel
[liberum] yourself. For a good wife, if it is possible for her
to be married anywhere on earth, where can I find ber?
But am I to take one home who is never to say this to me,
Buy me some wool, my dear, with which a soft and warm
cloak may be made, and good winter under-clothes, that you
mayn't catch cold this winter-weather;" such an expression
as this you can never hear from a wife, but, before the
cocks crow, she awakes me from my sleep, and says,
"Give
me some money, my dear, with which to make my mother a
present on the Calends³, give me some money to make pre-
serves; give me something to give on the Quinquatrus¹ to
the sorceress5, to the woman who interprets the dreams, to
(C
"1
¹ To be free)—Ver. 683. There is a play on the word "liber,” here, which
means either "a child," or a
free person.
He says that it is much more plea-
sant to be "liberum" (a free person), than to be the father of a "liberum"
(a child). The word "liber," meaning "a child," is very rarely used in the sin-
gular number. The remark of Pleusicles is rather modified in the translation.
2 Under-clothes)-Ver. 687. The "tunica" was that part of the clothing which
was next to the skin.
3 On the Calends)-Ver. 690. He alludes to the Calends of March, which, as
the commencement of the old Roman year, was particularly celebrated by the
Roman matrons, who then gave presents to each other, and received them from
their husbands. The festival was called "Matronalia," and sacrifices were offered
to Juno Lucina, the guardian of pregnant women. See the Fasti of Ovid, B. 3,
L. 257.
↑ On the Quinquatrus)—Ver. 691. The first day of the "
The first day of the "Quinquatrus," or
"five-day feast," was on the 19th of March. Festus says, that it had its name
from its beginning on the fifth day after the Ides. See the Fasti of Ovid, B. 3,
1. 810. This festival was sacred to Minerva.
แ
5 To the sorceress)-Ver. 692. The "præcantrix" was a woman who, by her
incantations, was powerful to avert evil. Conjectrix" was a female who inter-
preted dreams. "Ariola" was supposed to be an inspired prophetess. "Arus-
pica" was a female who divined by means of the entrails, lightning, and other phe-
nomena. "Platrix" was the woman who purified the company and performed
tne expiations, on the day on which the child received its name.
Sc. II.
105
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
the prophetess, and to the female diviner; besides, 'tis im-
possible for me, in civility, not to fee the expiating woman; for
long has the mattress-maker2 been grumbling, because she
has received nothing; besides, the midwife found fault with
me, that too little had been sent for her. What! arn't you
going to send something to the nurse that brings up the young
slaves? It's a shame if nothing's sent her; with what a
brow she does look at me." These and many other expenses
of the women like to these frighten me from a wife, to be
uttering speeches to me like to this.
PAL. In good sooth, the Gods are propitious to you; for
so soon as you lose this liberty, you will not easily reinstate
yourself in the same condition.
PLEUS. You are a person who are able to counsel wisely
both for another and for yourself. But 'tis some merit for a
man of noble family and of ample wealth to rear children—a
memorial of his race and of himself.
PERIP. Since I have many relations, what need have I of
children? Now I live well and happily, and as I like, and
as contents my feelings. For I shall bequeath my property
to my relations, and divide it among them. These, like chil-
dren, pay attentions to me; they come to see how I do, or what
I want; before it is daybreak they are with me; they make
inquiry how I have enjoyed my sleep in the night. Them will
I have for children who are ever sending presents to me. Are
they sacrificing—they give a greater part of it to me than to
1 For long has)-Ver. 694. A critic in the St. James's Magazine for January,
1763, says, on this point, that these various importunities, since they relate to a
state of things now entirely passed away, lose all their effect on the reader;
"but
when such insinuating addresses tend to procure a footboy, or a new year's gift, or
something handsome to give to servants, or to the wet-nurse, or the Methodist
preacher, there is no married man whatever but would enter directly into the
spirit of such requests." This sweeping remark may possibly be somewhat less
remote from truth than it is from gallantry to the fair sex.
2 The mattress-maker)-Ver. 694. "Toraria" seems to be "the bed, or mat-
tress-maker." Other editions have "ceraria," "the woman who supplies wax
candles for sacrifice." Others, again, have "gerula," "the nursemaid that carries
the children.'
3 The young slaves)-Ver. 696. The "verna" were the slaves that were corn
under the master's roof. They were more indulged than the other slaves, and
were noted for their extreme impudence and presumption.
♦ With what a brow)—Ver. 697. The reference here may probably be to the
vil eye, which, of injurious effect at all times, would be supposed to be parti
ularly so in the case of a nurse.
106
Act 111,
MILES GLORIOSUS;
themselves; they take me home with them to share the entrails¹;
they invite me to their houses to breakfast and to dinner. He
thinks himself most unfortunate, who has sent but very little
to me. They vie with one another with their presents; I say
in a low voice to myself: "They are gaping after my pro-
perty; while, in their emulation, they are nourishing me and
loading me with presents."
PAL. Upon right good grounds and right well do you fully
understand yourself and your own interests, and if you are
happy, sons twofold and threefold have you.
PERIP. Troth, if I had had them, enough anxiety should I
have had from my children.
*
*
*
*
*
*
I should have been everlastingly tormented in mind; but if
perchance one had had a fever, I think I should have died.
Or if one, in liquor, had tumbled anywhere from his horse, I
should have been afraid that he had broken his legs or neck
on that occasion.
PAL. 'Tis right that riches should come, and that long life
should be granted to this man, who both husbands his pro-
perty and yet enjoys himself and has kind wishes for his
friends.
PLEUS. O what a delightful person! So may the Gods and
Goddesses prosper me, 'twere right the Deities should so
ordain that all should not live after one rule as to the duration
of life. Just as he who is a trusty market-officer² sets their
prices on the wares; as that which is good or valuable is
sold according to its excellence, and that which is worthless,
according to the faultiness of the commodity, deprives its
owner of its price; so were it right that the Gods should
portion out the life of man, so as to give to him who is
kindly disposed a long life, and speedily to deprive of exist-
ence those who are reprobate and wicked. If they had pro-
vided this, bad men would both have been fewer, and with
1 To share the entrails)—Ver. 712. It was the custom, after their portions had
been sacrificed to the Gods, to reserve a part of the entrails for the persons who sa-
crificed. These invited their dearest and most intimate friends to partake of them,
if they could not attend, were in the habit of sending their share to them.
The old man here flatters himself that he is a general favorite, although, bye
and bye, he hints a suspicion that, being a rich old bachelor, the love of his friends
is not quite disinterested.
or,
2 Market-officer)-Ver. 727. " Agoranomus" was the name of a public officer
among the Greeks, who, like the "Edilis plebis" at Rome, had the inspection o
the wares offered for sale in the public markets.
Sc. II.
107
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
less hardihood would they do their wicked deeds; and then,
those who were good men, of them there would have been a
more plenteous harvest.
PERIP. He who would blame the ordinances of the Gods
must be foolish and ignorant. * ** * At present we must at
once have an end of these matters; for now I want to go to
market, that, my guest, according to your own deserts and
mine, I may entertain you hospitably at my house, heartily
and with right hearty cheer.
PLEUS. I am content with the expense that I have been to
you already. For no guest can be thus hospitably entertained
by a friend, but that when he has been there three days
running, he must now become a bore; but when he is pro-
longing his stay for ten successive days, he is a nuisance to
the household. Although the master willingly allows it, the
servants grumble.
PERIP. I have trained up the servants that are in my ser-
vice, my guest, not to rule over me, or for me to be obedient
to them. If that is disagreable to them which is agreable to
me, I steer my own course; that which they don't like must
still be done at their peril, and whether they like it or no.
Now, as I intended, I shall go to market.
PLEUS. If you are resolved, do cater somewhat within
bounds, at no great expense; anything is enough for mes.
PERIP. Won't you now have done with that old-fashioned
and antiquated talk? Now surely, guest, you are using the
cant of the vulgar. For they are in the habit of saying,
1 I am content with)-Ver. 740. "Nil me pœnitet ;' " "I am not dissatisfied with.”
2 Steer my own course)-Ver. 747. "Meo rem remigio gero;" literally, "I carry
on my own business with my own staff of rowers." The rowers were frequently
slaves, and of course were kept in strict subordination. He alludes to the re-
gularity of his household, where everything is done in its proper time and place,
and the promptness with which he is in the habit of being obeyed. We need
hardly remark that most of the "servi," or
(6 servants," were slaves.
3 Is enough for me)-Ver. 750. "Mihi quidvis sat est" seem to have been an
antiquated and hackneyed expression, used by philosophers and old-fashioned
people, to imply their habits of self-denial and frugality.
4 Won't
you now)-Ver. 751. He tells him to have done with such stale cant-
ng expressions, which are now worn threadbare, and have descended to the tables
of the mob. Indeed, he says right, ror nothing can be more annoying than pre-
tended refusals, and bowings and scrapings, where they are merely an affectation
of a modesty, humility, or self-denial that is not really felt.
Cant of the vulgar)—Ver. 752. The "proletarü" were the poorest class o
108
Act III.
MILES GLORIOSUS;
when they have taken their places, when dinner is put on
table: " What necessity was there for you to go to this great
expense on our account? Surely you were mad, for this same
dinner was enough for ten persons." What has been pro-
vided on their account they find fault with; they eat it up,
however.
PAL. Troth, in that self-same fashion 'tis generally done.
How clever and shrewd is his discernment.
PERIP. But these same persons never say, although such
an abundance has been provided, "Do order that to be taken
off; do take away this dish; remove this gammon of bacon,
I'll have none of it; put aside that piece of pork; this
conger's good¹ when cold; remove it, take and put it aside."
You hear none of them saying this in earnest, but they
stretch themselves out, while with half their bodies2 on the
table, they are indulging their appetite.
PAL. How cleverly the good soul has described their bad
manners.
PERIP. I have not said a hundredth part of what I could
have enlarged upon had there been leisure for the matter.
PAL. The business, then, that we are about-to that we
ought first to turn our thoughts. Do you both, now, give
me your attention. I have need, Periplecomenus, of your
assistance; for I have hit upon a pleasant trick, how this
Captain with his long locks may be fleeced quite close³, and
how we may effect a means for Philocomasium, and this
her lover, that he may carry her off hence, and have her as
his own.
PERIP. I wish this plan to be imparted to me.
PAL. And I, wish that ring of yours to be imparted to me.
PERIP. For what purpose is it to be used?
the free citizens, who, according to Livy, were possessed of less than eleven thou-
sand “
asses," and could serve the state, not with money, but with their children
(proles).
1 This conger's good)—Ver. 760. Lampreys and conger eels were very much
esteemed by the Romans. Probably the conger was considered best when eater.
cold.
2 Half their bodies)-Ver. 762. This would be the more easily done when we
remember that the guests were reclining on the " triclinium," or couch, which
was above the level of the table on which the viands were placed.
2 Be fleeced quite close)—Ver. 768. By his mention of the Captain's long locka,
te seems to intend a pun on the word "admutilo," "to bamboozle" or cajole,
which, literally, signifies to "clip," or "shave close."
SCII.
109
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN,
PAL. When I have got it, I will impart the plan of my
devices.
PERIP. Take and use it. (Gives him the ring.)
PAL. Take from me in return the plan of my contrivance
that I have hit upon.
PERIP. We are listening to you with most attentive car.
PAL. My master is such a shocking rake among the women,
that I think no one ever was his equal, nor ever will be.
PERIP. I believe the same as well. PAL. He boasts, too,
that his beauty exceeds that of Alexander¹; and, therefore,
he
says that all the women in Ephesus of their own accord
are courting him.
PERIP. Aye, faith, many there are who could wish³ that you
were now telling an untruth about him. But I am convinced
full well that it is as you say. For that reason, Palæstrio,
do compress your words in as short a compass as ever you
possibly can.
PAL. Can you, then, find any woman of agreable person,
whose mind and body are full of merriment and subtlety?
PERIP. Free by birth, or bondwoman made free ?
PAL. I consider that a matter of indifference, so that you
find one who is greedy for gain, who supports her body by
her charms, who has, too, her senses all awake; as for her
heart, that cannot be so, as none of them have one.
PERIP. Do you want one that has taken her degrees, or
one as yet a novice in the art?
PAL. One sober but plump5, a juicy bit; as taking a one as
ever you can find, and one very young.
¹ Of Alexander)-Ver. 777. "Alexander," from two Greek words, signifying
"the brave man," was one of the names of Paris, the son of Priam, who was re-
markable for his beauty, which captivated Helen.
2 All the women)-Ver. 778. The Parasite quizzes him upon this weak point in
the First Act.
• Who could wish)-Ver. 779. The meaning of Periplecomenus seems to be
that the Captain has been but too successful in his intrigues, and that many a
husband could wish that what Palæstrio says were false.
แ
• One that has)-Ver. 787. Some Commentators think that "lautam" here
neans one who has borne children," and who has bathed (lautus fuerit), as was
the custom immediately after delivery. As, however, Palæstrio has said before that
the female required must be a Courtesan, it surely could not matter whether she
had had children or not. It probably means either one of elegant manners, and who
has made good use of her experience, in contradistinction to a novice, who is a mere
raw country wench, or else one in easy circumstances, and not a mere pauper.
• Sober but plump)—Ver. 787. His answer is, he wants to find a woman whe
110
Act 111,
MILES GLORIOSUS;
PERIP. Why, I have one, a dependant of mine, a courtesan,
a very young woman. But what is the occasion for her?
PAL. For you to bring her home at once to your house as
your wife, and, for that reason, to bring her there dressed out,
so that she may wear her locks with her hair arranged, and
fillets after the fashion of matrons¹, and may pretend that
she is your wife; so you must instruct her.
PERIP. I am at a loss what road you are taking.
PAL. Well, you shall know.
she ?
But what sort of a maid has
PERIP. She is a rare clever one. PAL. We have need of
her as well; so give your instructions to the damsel and her
maid, to pretend that she is your wife and is doting upon this
Captain; and as though she had given this ring to her maid,
then she to me, that I might deliver it to the Captain; and I
must be as though it were a go-between in this matter.
PERIP. I hear you; don't stun my ears as if I were deaf.
PAL. I myself will go straightway to him; I'll say that
it has been brought and delivered to me from your wife, in
order that I might introduce her to him. He'll be distractedly
longing for her at home, a scoundrel that cares for nothing
else whatever but intriguing.
PERIP. If you had commissioned the Sun himself to search
them out, he couldn't have found, better than myself, two
more cleverly suited for this business. Be of good courage
about it.
PAL. Take you every care then.
There is need of despatch.
(Exit PERIPLECOMENUS.
is "sicca," probably in the sense of "sober;" but, as the same word means "dry,'
he adds, antithetically, "at succidam," "but juicy," full of the plumpness and
oriskness of youth. Scaliger absolutely thinks that "sicca" means
"one not
given to the habit of spitting."!!
1 The fashion of matrons)—Ver. 792. The "vitta" was a band which encir-
cled the head, and served to confine the tresses of the hair. It was worn by
maidens, and by married women also, among the Romans; but that assumed on the
day of marriage was of a different form from that used by the virgins. It was not
worn by women of light character, or even by the "libertinæ," or liberated female
slaves; so that it was not only deemed an emblem of chastity, but of freedom also,
White and purple are among the colours of the "vtta" which we find mentioned
Sc. IV.
111
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
SCENE 111.
PALESTRIO, PLEUSICLES.
PAL. Now, do you listen, Pleusicles. PLEUS. I am all at-
tention to you.
PAL. Take care of this. When the Captain comes home,
do you remember not to call Philocomasium by her name.
PLEUS. What am I to call her?
PAL. Glycera. PLEUS. The same, you mean, that was
agreed upon a little time since.
PAL. Hush!-Be off. PLEUS. I'll remember; but still I
don't know what use it is to keep it in my mind.
PAL. But I will tell you, at the time, when occasion shall
require. Meanwhile, be quiet; so that, bye and bye, when he
too shall be acting his part, you may, on the instant, be
minding your cue.
PLEUS. I'll go in then. PAL. Go, and do take care steadily
to follow my instructions. (PLEUSICLES goes into the house
of PERIPLECOMENUS.)
PAL. What mighty turmoils I create! What mighty en-
gines I do set to work! This very day I shall take his
mistress away from the Captain, if my soldiers are only well
drilled. But I'll call him out. (Goes to the door and calls.)
not busy, come out to the front
call you.

Hallo! Scele
of the house;
ENE IV.
Enter LUCRIO from the CAPTAIN's house.
LUCR. Sceledrus is not at leisure. PAL. Why so?
LUCR. He's fast asleep, gulping³. PAL. How, gulping?
¹ Acting his part)—Ver. 811. He alludes to Periplecomenus, who has just left
aim.
2 Are only well drilled)—Ver, 815. "Manipularis" was a term applied to the
common soldiers of the legion, inasmuch as they were formed into small compa-
nies, marshalled in open order, called "manipuli." Each maniple had two cen.
turions, whose duty it was to drill their men, inspect their arms, clothing, and
food, visit the sentinels, and regulate the conduct of the privates both in the camp
and in the field. They sat as judges in minor offences, and had the power of
ordering corporal punishment, whence their badge of offico was a vine sapling
“Bene centuriati" consequently means here "well drilled."
3 Asleep, gulping)-Ver. 818. "Sorbeo" means not only "to drink up," but to
make that gulping noise in snoring which is produced by inhaling the breath with
112
Act IIL
MILES GLORIOSUS
LUCR. He's snoring, 'twas that I meant to say: but, be-
cause 'tis very like gulping when you are snoring-
* * *
PAL. What! Is Sceledrus asleep in-doors?
LUCR. Not with his nose, in fact; for with that he is call-
ing out loud enough.
PAL. He has taken a cup by stealth; the butler has lately
tapped a cask of nardine¹. Oho! you rascal, you are his
deputy-butler. Oho!
LUCR. What do you mean?
to go to sleep?
PAL. How has he thought fit
LUCR. With his eyes, I suppose. PAL. I don't ask you
that, you vagabond. Step this way: you're undone now,
unless I know the truth. Did you draw the wine for him ?
LUCR. I did not draw it. PAL. Do you deny it?
LUCR. I' faith, I do deny it undoubtedly; for he charged
me not to tell. I really didn't just³ draw for him eight half
pints into a pitcher, and, when drawn, he didn't just drink it
hot, at his breakfast.
PAL. And you didn't just drink as well? LUCR. The
Gods confound me if I did drink—if I could drink.
PAL. Why so? LUCR. Because, in fact, I only sipped;
for it was too hot; it burnt my thro
the mouth open, and the head thrown back.
him, for the purpose of getting a confession.

7
misunderstands
g here adopted, he
¹ A cask of nardine)—Ver. 824. Accordi
guesses that Sceledrus has got drunk upon s
wine, that had been lately
tapped. The Romans used many articles f uring their wines. Spikenard,
an Eastern aromatic, is here referred to. Morehound, squills, wormwood, and
myrtle-berries were used for making medical wines. Cornels, figs, medlars, roses,
asparagus, parsley, radishes, laurels, junipers, cassia, cinnamon, and saffron,
with many other particulars, were also used for flavouring wines.
2 His deputy-butler)-Ver. 825. Some Commentators take this passage to mean,
that Sceledrus really was the "promus," or
promus," or "butler;" but it seems more pro-
bable that Palæstrio says, by way of accusation, "Sceledrus has not only been
acting the butler on this occasion, but you have been acting as his deputy, in
secretly helping him to draw it." Lucrio was the "subcustos" of Sceledrus, the
"deputy-keeper" of Philocomasium, and the under-butler as well.
3 Didn't just)-Ver. 831. He adheres to his promise by denying it in words,
bat in such a way as to make a full confession of what has happened. "Hemina
was a measure among the Greeks and Romans of nearly half a pint.
• Drink it hot)—Ver. 832. It has been already remarked, that the Romans
were much in the habit of drinking wine, made warm and mixed with spices. The
taking it at "prandium," about twelve in the day, shows how Sceledrus presumed
o the office of trust which had beers conferred upon him.
Sc. IV.
113
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
PAL. Some are gloriously drunk, while others are drinking
vinegar-water¹. The cellar's trusted to an honest butler, as
well as under-butler.
LUOR. I' faith, you'd be doing the same, if it was en-
trusted to you.
Since you can't follow our example, you are
envious now.
PAL. Come, now, did he ever draw any wine before this?
Answer me, you rascal. And, that you may understand it, I
give you this notice: if you purposely tell me an untruth,
you shall be put to the torture.
LUCR. Indeed so? That you may inform, forsooth, that I
told you; and then I shall be turned out of my fattening
post in the cellar, that you may find another under-butler
to draw for your own self.
PAL. On my honour, I will not; come, speak out boldly
to me.
LUCR. By my troth, I never saw him draw any. But thus
was it; he requested me, and then I drew it.
PAL. Think of that now! very frequently, I guess, the
casks were standing on their heads there.
LUCR, No, faith, the casks would not have stood so very
badly there. But there happened to be in the cellar a bit
of a slippery spot; a two-pint pot was placed there, near the
casks, in this fashion (shows the way). Frequently, that was
¹ Vinegar-water)-Ver. 836. "Posca" was the name of the mixture of vinegar
and water which constituted the drink of the Roman soldiers, the lower classes,
and the slaves. Palæstrio grumbles on finding that while he is drinking vinegar
and water his fellow-slave is enjoying himself on mulled wine.
2 Standing on their heads)—Ver. 851. He means to say that the "amphoræ,"
no doubt, were often turned bottom upwards for the purpose of pouring out their
contents.
3 The casks would not)-Ver. 852. The whole of this passage is of somewhat
obscure signification. The two lines probably mean, "The casks (cadi) woul
not have fallen down there so very much, had it not been that one part of the
cellar was very slippery indeed." He then shows how (sic) the pot was put
close by the casks, so that, they slipping down, it was filled as often as ten times in
ɔne day; and he concludes by saying, that when the pot acted the Bacchanal
(debacchabatur), the casks slipped down again. Probably by acting the Bac-
chanal he means to say that the pot got filled and was then emptied, just like the
Bacchanals, who, doubtless, were not particular at vomiting a part of the enor-
mous quantities of wine which they imbibed; and he naively tells the truth, by say-
ing that the cask slipping was the result of the pot being emptied, and so laying
the fault more upon the pot than the drinker.
114
Act III.
MILES GLORIOSUS;
filled ten times in a day. When the pot acted the reveller,
the casks were all tottering.
PAL. Get you gone in-doors. Both of you, I find, are
acting the revellers in the wine-cellar. I' faith, I shall fetch
my master home just now from the Forum.
LUCR. (aside). I'm ruined. My master, when he comes
home, will have me tortured, when he knows of these doings.
I' faith, I'll fly somewhither, and put off this punishment to
another day. (To the AUDIENCE.) Don't you tell him¹, I do
entreat you most earnestly. (He is going.)
PAL. Whither are you betaking yourself? LUCR. I am
sent elsewhere: I'll come back here just now.
PAL. Who has sent you? LUCR. Philocomasium.
PAL. Go; be back directly. LUCR. If it is divided,
prithee do you only take my share of the punishment while
I'm away.
(Exit LUCRIO.
SCENE V.
PALESTRIO, alone.
PAL. So I understand what scheme the lady is upon.
Because Sceledrus is asleep, she has sent her under-keeper
away out of doors, whilst she may pass from our house to
next door. That's all right. (Looks down the street.)
But
Periplecomenus is bringing here a woman of very comely
appearance, her, for whom I commissioned him. By my faith,
the Gods are helping us in this matter.
us in this matter. How becomingly
drest she struts along2, not like a Courtesan. This business
is prospering charmingly in our hands. (Stands aside.)
SCENE VI.
Enter PERIPLECOMENUS, with ACROTELEUTIUM and
MILPHIDIPPA.
PERIP. (as he advances). I have explained the whole
affair, Acroteleutium, to you, and, Milphidippa, to you as well.
If
you don't well understand this device and plan, I wish you
to hear it all over again. If you comprehend it aright, there
is something else that we may speak of in preference.
1 Don't you tell him)-Ver. 862. These occasional addresses to the Spectators,
in the middle of the dialogue, were made in the same spirit and for the same
purpose for which the clown on our stage addresses his jokes to the audience,
namely, to provoke a hearty laugh.
2 She struts along)-Ver. 872 By the use of the word "incedit," e pro
bably refers to the assumed stateliness of her gait.
Sc. V1.
115
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
ACROT. I' faith, it would be folly, and ignorance, and fool-
ishness, for me to engage in the service of another, or to
promise you my assistance, if, in its fabrication, I did not
know how to be either mischievous or clever at deceiving.
PERIP. But, 'tis better for you to be instructed.
ACROT. Really I don't understand of what great use it
is for a Courtesan to be instructed. How now! have I told
you all in vain, after my ears had drunk in the draughts¹ of
your discourse, in what fashion it was possible for the Cap-
tain to be cajoled?
PERIP. But no one, unaided, is sufficiently perfect; for
full oft have I seen many a person lose the road to good ad-
vice before they had found it.
ACROT. If a woman has anything to do mischievously and
maliciously, in that case her memory is immortal at remem-
bering it for everlasting; but if anything is to be done for a
good purpose, or honestly, it will fall out that those same
women will become oblivious that instant, and be unable to
remember.
PERIP. Therefore do I fear that same, because both those
things happen to be about to be done by us; for that will be a
benefit to me in which you both will be acting mischievously
towards the Captain.
*
ACROT. So long as we do anything that's good, not know-
ing it, don't you fear. No woman is awkward *
* Have no apprehensions, they are.
*
**
*
ready for the worst.
PERIP. So it befits you. Do you follow me.
PAL. (advancing). Why do I hesitate to go and accost
them ?
PERIP. Well met, and opportunely, Palæstrio. See, here
they are whom you commissioned me to bring, and in the
very dress.
PAL. Well done: accept my thanks. I am glad that you
have come safe. I' faith, you bring them nicely dressed. Pa-
æstrio salutes Acroteleutium.
ACROT. Prithee, who's this, that calls me so familiarly by
name ?
PERIP. This is our master-plotter. ACROT. Health to you,
master-plotter.
'Drunk in the draughts)-Ver. 883. "Loream." The true meaning of this
word seems to be "a leather bottle." If it is the correct reading, it is here used
oy Metonymy for the draught which it contains.
12
110
Act III.
MILES GLORIOSUS;
PAL. And health to you. But, tell me, has he any way
given you full instructions?
PERIP. I bring them both thoroughly prepared.
PAL. I'd like to hear how. I'm afraid lest you should be
making some mistake.
PERIP. I have added to your instructions nothing new of
my own.
ACROT. I suppose you wish the Captain, your master, to
be gulled.
PAL. You've said what's true.
ACROT. Cleverly and skilfully, adroitly and pleasantly, the
whole thing is planned.
PAL. In fact, I wish you to pretend to be his wife. (Points
to PERIPLECOMENUS.)
ACROT. That shall be done. PAL. To pretend as though
you had set your affection on the Captain.
ACROT. And so it shall be.
PAL. And as though this affair is managed through me, as
the go-between, and your servant-maid.
ACROT. You might have made a good prophet; for you
tell what is to be.
PAL. As though this maid of yours had conveyed from
you this ring to me, which I was then to deliver to the Cap-
tain, in your name.
ACROT. You say what's true. PERIP. What need is there
to mention these things now, which they remember so well?
ACROT. Still, it is better. For think of this, my patron;
when the shipwright is skilful, if he has once laid down the
keel exact to its lines, 'tis easy to build the ship, when
*
*
*
Now this keel of ours has been skil-
fully laid and firmly placed; the workmen and the master-
builders are not unskilled in this business. If he who fur-
nishes the timber¹ does not retard us in giving what is needed,
I know the adroitness of our ingenuity-soon will the ship
be got ready.
PAL. You know the Captain, my master, then?
ACROT. 'Tis strange you should ask me.
How could I
1 Who furnishes the timber)—Ver. 920. Lambinus has thus explained tnis
Metaphorical expression. The ship is the contrivance for deceiving the Captain;
the keel is the main-plot and foundation of it; Periplecomenus, Acro‘eleutium,
and her servant, are the workmen; Paiæstrio is the master-shipwright; while
the Captain himself is the "materiarius," or "person that supplies the timber."
Sc. VI.
117
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
not know that scorn of the public, that swaggering, frizzle-
headed, perfumed debauchee ?
PAL. But does he know you? ACROT. He never saw me:
how, then, should he know who I am?
PAL. 'Tis most excellent what you say. For that reason,
i' faith, the thing will be able to be managed all the more
cleverly.
ACROT. Can you only find me the man, and then be easy
as to the rest? If I don't make a fool of the fellow, do you
lay all the blame on me.
PAL. Well, go you in then; apply yourselves to this
business with all your skill.
ACROT. Trust me for that¹. PAL. Come, Periplecomenus,
do you conduct them at once in-doors. I'm off to the Forum,
I'll meet him, and give him this ring, and will tell him that
it has been delivered to me from your wife, and that she is
dying for him. As soon as we shall have come from the
Forum, do you send her (points to MILPHIDIPPA) to our house
as though she were privately sent to him.
PERIP. We'll do so; trust us for that.
PAL. Do you only attend to the business; I'll new polish
him off with a pretty burden on his back.
(Exit.
PERIP. Go, with good luck to you, manage the matter
cleverly. (To ACROTELEUTIUM.) But now, if I shall manage
this adroitly, that my guest can this day gain the mistress of
the Captain, and carry her off hence to Athens; if, I say,
this day we shall succeed in this plan, what shall I give
you for a present?
ACROT. *
*
#
* If now the lady seconds
our efforts on her part, I think it will be right cleverly and
adroitly managed. When a comparison shall be made of our
artifices, I have no fear that I shall not prove superior in
the cleverness of my contrivances.
PERIP. Let's go in-doors, then, that we may deeply weigh
these plans, that carefully and cautiously we may carry out
what is to be done, so that, when the Captain comes, there
may be no tripping.
ACROT. You are delaying us with your talk. (They go into
the house of PERIPLECOMENUS.)
A
¹ Trust me for that)—Ver. 929. "Alia cura;" literally, "take care of some-
thing else; meaning, trust us in the present instance," ´r, as Thornton ex.
presses it, "never fear us.
118
Act IV.
MILES GLORIOSUS;
ACT THE FOURTH.
SCENE I.
Enter PYRGOPOLINICES and PALESTRIO.
PYRG. 'Tis a pleasure what you do, if it succeeds agreably
and to your mind. For I this day have sent my Parasite to
King Seleucus, to lead those soldiers, that I have levied, hence
to Seleucus; in order that they may defend his kingdom till
I have leisure to attend in person.
PAL. Why don't you attend to your own concerns rather
than those of Seleucus. What a charming new proposal is
being offered to you through me as the negotiator.
PYRG. Well then, I lay all other things aside, and I give
my attention to you. Speak out: my ears,
Speak out: my ears, in fact, I surren-
der at your disposal.
PAL. Look around, then, that no one here may be an eaves-
dropper for our discourse; for this business was entrusted me
to transact with you in private.
PYRG. (looks around). There's no one near. PAL. In the
first place, receive from me this pledge of affection. (Gives
him the ring.)
PYRG. What's this? Whence comes it ?
PAL. From a charming and a handsome lady, one who loves
you, and dotes upon your extreme beauty. Her maid just
now gave me the ring that I might then give it to you.
PYRG. What? Is she free born or a freed woman, made
free from a slave by the Prætor's rod¹?
PAL. Pshaw! Should I presume to be the bearer of a mes-
sage to you from a person once a slave, who cannot sufficiently
answer the demands of the free women who are longing for
you?
PYRG. Is she wife, or is she widow ?
PAL. She is both wife and widow.
PYRO. In what way is it possible for the same woman to
be a wife and a widow?
PAL. Because she is a young woman married to an old
man.
By the Prætor's rod)-Ver. 961. "Festuca" is the same with "vindicta.
The rod, or wand, which the Prætor used to lay on the head of the slave when he
was made free.
Sċ. I.
119
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
PYRG That's good. PAL. She is of genteel and charming
person.
PYRG. Beware of misrepresenting. PAL. It is alone worthy
to be compared with your own charms.
PYRG. By my faith, you make her out to be a beauty. But
who is she?
PAL. The wife of that old gentleman, Periplecomenus, next
door. She is dying for you, and wishes to leave him; she
hates the old fellow. Now she has begged me to entreat and
beseech you that you will give her your support and assistance.
PYRG. I' faith, I'm ready for my part if she desires it.
PAL. Doesn't she long for it?
PYRG. What shall we do with that mistress of mine, who is
at my house?
PAL. Why, do you bid her to be gone about her business,
wherever she chooses; as her twin-sister has come here to
Ephesus, and her mother, and they are come to fetch her.
PYRG. Ha! what's that you say? Has her mother come
to Ephesus ?
PAL. Those say so who know it.
PYRG. I' faith, a charming opportunity for me to turn the
wench out of doors.
PAL. Aye, but do you wish to do the thing handsomely ?
PYRG. Speak out, and give me your advice.
PAL. Do you wish to pack her off forthwith, that she may
quit you with a good grace?
PYRG. I do so wish. PAL. Then this is the thing you
must do. You have a superabundance of wealth; bid the
woman to keep as a present for herself the gold and trinkets
which you have supplied her with, and to take herself off from
your house wherever she likes.
PYRG. It pleases me what you say; but yet, only think, if
I should lose her, and the other change her mind ?
PAL. Pshaw! you're over nice; a lady, that loves you as
her own eyes.
PYRG. Ve us befriends me. PAL. Hist! hush! the door
is opening; come this way a little out of sight. (MILPHI-
DIPPA comes out of the house of PERIPLECOMENUS.) This is
her fly-boat-her go-between, that's coming out there.
PYRG. How so-fly-boat?
fly-boat? PAL. This is her maid that
s coming ut of the house, she that brought that ring which
I delivered to you.
120
Act. IV
MILES GLORIOSUS;
PYRG. I' faith, she too is a prettyish wench.
PAL. This one is a little monkey and an owl¹ in comparison
with the other. Do you see how she hunts around with her
eyes, and goes fowling about with her ears. (They stand aside.)
SCENE II.
Enter MILPHIDIPPA.
MIL. (as she enters). My Circus, then2, is before the house,
where my sports are to take place. I'll make pretence, as
though I didn't see them, or knew as yet that they are here.
PYRG. Hush! let's quietly listen, whether any mention is
made of me.
MIL. (aloud). Is there no one near at hand here, to attend to
another's business rather than his own?-to prowl after³ me to
see what I'm about? No one who is feeding this evening at
his own expense? I dread such men as these, lest they should
now come in the way, or prove an hindrance somehow, should
my mistress privately pass from her house this way, who is so
enamoured of his person, who so dotes upon this very charming
man with his exceeding beauty-the Captain Pyrgopolinices
PYRG. And doesn't she dote upon me, too? She is praising
my beauty.
PAL. I' faith, her language stands in need of no ashes".
PYRG. For what reason? PAL. Why, because her lan-
guage is clean spoken and far from slovenly. Whatever she
says about yourself, she handles it in no slovenly way. And,
then, besides, she herself is a very pretty and a very dainty
wench.
¹ And an owl)-Ver. 989. "Spinturnicium" was the name of some ugly, ill-
omened bird; of what kind it is not now known.
2 My Circus, then)-Ver. 991. This is an allusion to the Circus at Rome, where
the public games were exhibited.
³ To prowl after)—Ver. 995. “Aucupo" is properly applied to a birdcatcher,
or fowler, who watches his nets.
She is sup-
♦ Feeding this evening)—-Ver. 995. "Qui de vesperi vivat suo." She is
posed to mean those who are not out on the hunt for a supper, but have got
one of their own at home. These latter persons, she thinks, living at their ease,
and not having to satisfy a hungry stomach, are likely to have more leisure for
prying into the concerns of other people, than those who are put to their shifts
for a meal.
5 In need of no ashes)—Ver. 1000. He says that she is so very clean spoker
laute et minime sordide) that she needs no ashes with which to scour her words; the
gure being derived from the custom of scouring brass vessels with pounded asle
Sc. II.
121
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
PYRG. Troth, indeed, she has made an impression already,
Palæstrio, at first sight.
PAL. What! before you have seen the other with your
eyes ?
PYRG. What I see, in that I have faith for myself; for
this mackerel¹, in the absence of the mullet, compels me to be
in love with her.
PAL. I' faith, you really mustn't be falling in love with
ner, she's engaged to me. If the other weds you to-day,
forthwith I shall take this one for my wife.
PYRG. Why, then, do you delay to accost her?
PAL. Follow me this way, then.
PYRG. I am your lackey at your heels2.
MIL. (aloud). I wish that I had an opportunity of meeting
him on account of whom I came here out of doors.
PAL. (accosting her). It shall be so, and you shall have
what you so greatly wish; be of good courage, don't fear;
there is a certain person who knows where that is which you
are seeking.
MIL. Who's that I hear at hand? PAL. The sharer of
your plans and the partaker of your secrets.
MIL. I' faith, then, what I do conceal I don't conceal.
PAL. Aye, but still you don't, conceal it this way.
MIL. How so? PAL. From the uninitiated you conceal
them. I am sure and trustworthy to you.
MIL. Give me the sign, if you are one of these votaries³.
PAL. A certain lady loves a certain gentleman.
1 This mackerel)-Ver. 1006. The "lacerta" was probably a delicate fish,
whose name is now unknown, but not so much so as the "mullus," the "grey
mullet," which was very highly esteemed by the Roman epicures.
2 Lackey at your heels)—Ver. 1009. "Pedisequus." The "pedisequi” were a
class of slaves at Rome whose duty it was to walk behind their master when he
went out of doors. The name does not seem to have been given to every slave
who followed his master, but they belonged to a class which was almost the lowest
in the slave family.
3 Of these votaries)-Ver. 1016. "Baccharum." Literally, one of the
"Bacchæ," or "votaries of Bacchus." Only those were admitted to the rites who
had been duly initiated. These had a sign or password called "symbolum," or
"znemoraculum," by which they recognised each other, and thus Milphidippa asks
Palæstrio to give her some proof that he is the right person for her to address.
This pretended caution is only assumed in the Captain's presence, in order the
better to impose upon him, by affecting the utmost care and secrecy in the
matter
122
Act IV
MILES GLORIOSUS;
MIL. Faith, many ladies do that indeed. PAL. But not
many ladies send a present from off their fingers.
MIL. Aye, I know now.
You've now made the matter
level for me instead of steep. But is there a certain person
here ?
PAL. Either he is or he is not.
MIL. Come aside with me alone, in private.
PAL. For a short or for a lengthy conversation?
MIL. For three words only.
PAL. (to PYRGOPOLINICES). I'll return to you this in-
stant.
PYRG. What? Shall I be standing here in the meanwhile,
with such charms and valorous deeds, thus to no purpose?
PAL. Submit to it and wait; for you am I doing this
service.
PYRG. Make haste; I am tortured with waiting.
PAL. You know that commodities of this kind are only
wont to be reached step by step.
PYRG. Well, well; as is most agreable to yourself.
PAL. (aside). There is no stone more stupid than this
fellow. I now return to you. (To MIL HIDIPPA.) What
would you with me? (Retires with her to distance.)
MIL. In the way in which I received it of you a short
time since, I bring you back your clever lot; my story is as
though she were dying with love for him.
PAL. That 1 understand. Do you commend his beauty
and his appearance, and make mention of his prowess.
MIL. For that purpose I am armed at all points¹, as I have
shown you before already. On the other hand, do you give
all attention, and be on the watch, and take your cue2 from
my words.
PYRG. Prithee do now, in fine, give ne some share in the
business; step this way this instant, I beg.
PAL. (goes up to him). Here I am. If you wish for aught,
give me your commands.
PYRG. What is she saying to you?
PAL. She is saying that her mistress is lamenting, and, in
¹ Armed at all points)-Ver. 1028. "Habeo omnem aciem." Literally, "I have
all my troops in battle array."
2 Take your cue)—Ver. 1029. "Venator." Literally, "hunt out," or "act the
nunter's part," probably with reference to starting the game.
Sc. T1.
123
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
tears, is tormenting and afflicting herself because she wishes
for you, and because she possesses you not; for that reason
has she been sent here to you.
PYRO. Bid her approach. PAL. But do you know how
you are to act? Pretend that you are full of disdain, as
though it pleased you not; exclaim against me, because I
make you so common to the mob.
PYRG. I remember, and I'll follow your instructions.
PAL. I'll call her, then, who is inquiring after you.
PYRG. If she wants anything, let her come.
PAL. Wench, if you want anything, step this way.
MIL. (approaching). Save you, charmer¹. PYRG. She makes
mention of my surname. May the Gods grant you whatever
you may desire.
MIL. To pass life with you is the wish of
PYRG. You are wishing too much. MIL. I am not speak-
ing of myself, but of my mistress, who is dying for you.
PYRG. Many others are wishing for the same thing, who
have not the opportunity.
MIL. By my troth, 'tis not to be wondered at; you set a
high value on yourself-a person so handsome, and so illus-
trious for his prowess, and so valorous in his deeds! O! was
there ever any one more worthy to be a man?
PAL. (aside). I' faith, the filthy fellow is not a human being;
indeed, I think there is something more human in a vultures.
PYRG. (aside). Now I shall make myself of importance, since
she so praises me up. (Struts about.)
PAL. (aside). Do you see the blockhead, how he struts ?
(To PYRGOPOLINICES.) But will you not answer her; she is
the woman that's come from the lady whom I was mentioning
just now.
PYRG. But from which one of them? For there are so
many courting me, I cannot remember them all.
MIL. From her who strips her own fingers and adorns
your fingers; for I delivered to him (pointing to PALESTRIO)
that ring from her who is sighing for you, and then he to you.
PYRG. Tell me, wench, what is it you want then?
"
1 Charmer)-Ver. 1088. "Pulcher." "Handsome man.' This, as a surname,
would not sound so very absurd in Roman ears, as "Fulcher" was a surname (cog-
nomen) of a branch of the Claudian family.
* In a vulture)—-Ver. 1043 He probably alludes to the fact of the vultura
sometimes carrying human flesh in its maw
124
Act IV.
MILES GLORIOSUS;
MIL. That you will not despise her who is sighing for you;
who lives now but in your life: whether she is to exist or not,
her hope is in you alone.
PYRG. What does she want then ? MIL. To talk with
you, to embrace you, and to be intimate with you. For un-
less you bring her succour, she will soon be quite desponding
in her mind. Come, my Achilles, let that be done which I
entreat; save her, charmer, by your charming ways. Call
forth your kind disposition, stormer of cities, slayer of kings.
PYRG. O by my troth, 'tis a vexatious thing! (To
PALESTRIO.) How often, whip-scoundrel, have I forbidden
you to make promises of my attention thus common.
PAL. Do you hear that, hussy? I have told you already,
and I now tell you again, unless a fee is given to this boar
pig, he cannot possibly throw away his attentions in any
quarter.
MIL. A fee shall be given, as large as he shall demand.
PAL. He requires a talent of gold, in Philippean pieces.
Less he will take from no one.
MIL. O, by my troth, but that's too little, surely.
PYRG. By nature there's no avarice in me; I have riches
enough. I'faith! I've more than a thousand measures 2 full
of Philippean gold coins.
PAL. Besides your treasures. Then, of silver, he has
mountains, not ingots; Ætna is not so high.
MIL. (aside). By the stars! O, what a lie!
PAL. (to MILPHIDIPPA, aside). How rarely I am playing
him off!
MIL. (to PALESTRIO, aside). And I; how do I do it?
Ain't I gulling him?
PAL. (aside). Rarely. MIL. But, prithee, do let me go now.
PAL. (to the CAPTAIN). But do you give her some answer,
either that you will do it, or that you won't do it. Why cause
this poor lady so much anguish of mind, who has never de-
served any ill of you?
PYRG. Bid her come to me herself. Tell her that I will do
everything that she requires.
to act, since you
MIL. You now act as it is proper for you to act,
wish the same yourself that she is wishing.
¹ Boar-pig) This passage is somewhat modified in the translation.
2 A thousand measures)—Ver. 1063. The "modius" was a Roman measure
one-third of the "ampliora." It contained nearly two English gallons.
1
Se. II.
125
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
PAL. (to himself, aside). No poor faculty of invention has she.
MIL. Since too you have not scouted your petitioner, and
have suffered me to prevail upon you. (Aside to PALES-
TRIO.) How now? Haven't I played him off?
PAL. (aside to MILPHIDIPPA). Faith, I couldn't refrain
from laughing.
MIL. (aside to PALESTRIO). Yes; and for the same reason
I turned in this direction away from you.
PYRG. By my troth, wench, you don't understand how
great an honor I am now paying her.
MIL. I know, and I shall tell her so.
PAL. To another he could have sold his favours for his
weight in gold.
MIL. I' faith, I believe you in that.
PAL. Of those that are parents by him true warriors are
born, and his sons live eight hundred
years.
MIL. (aside to PALESTRIO). Fie on you for a fibber!
PYRG. Why, straight on, from age to age, they live for a
thousand years.
PAL. I spoke within limits, for the reason that she mightn't
suppose I was telling lies to her.
MIL. (aside). I burst, I die! (Aloud.) How many years
will he live himself whose sons live so long?
PYRG. Wench, I was born the day after Jupiter was borr
of Ops.
PAL. If he had only been born the day before the other
was, he would have had the realms of heaven.
MIL. (aside to PALESTRIO). Now, now, prithee, no more
do let me get away from you, if I can, alive.
PAL. Why don't you go then, as you have your answer?
MIL. I'll go, and I'll bring her here, on whose behalf I
am employed. Is there aught else you wish?
PYRG. May I never be more handsome than I am at pre-
sent; so much trouble do my good looks cause me.
PAL. Why do you stay now? Why don't you go?
MIL. I'm going. PAL. (aside to MILPHIDIPPA). And tell
her, too, do you hear, cleverly and correctly, what has passed.
MIL. (to PALESTRIO). So that her very heart may leap
for joy.
PAL. (aside to MILPHIDIPPA) If Philocomasium is there,
126
Act IV
MILES GLORIOSUS;
tell her to pass through into our house; that the Captain
here.
MIL. (to PALESTRIO). She is there with my mistress
for, on the sly, they have been overhearing this con
versation.
PAL. (aside to MILPHIDIPPA). 'Twas cleverly done; here.
after they will take their cue the more readily from this
conversation.
MIL. (to PALESTRIO). You are delaying me. I'm off.
PAL. (to MILPHIDIPPA). I'm not delaying you, nor
touching you, nor² I'm mum.
PYRG. Bid her make haste to come out here; we'll give
our first attention to this matter especially. (MILPHIDIPPA
goes into the house of PERIPLECOMENUS.)
SCENE III.
PYRGOPOLINICES, PALÆSTRIO.
PYRG. What do you advise me now to do, Palæstrio,
about my mistress ? For this lady can by no means be re-
ceived into my house before I have sent the other away.
PAL. Why consult me what you are to do? So far as
I am concerned, I have told you by what method that can
be effected in the gentlest manner. The gold trinkets and
female clothing with which you have furnished her, let her
keep it all for herself: let her take it, be off, and carry it
away: tell her that it is high time for her to go home; say
that her twin-sister and her mother are come, in company
with whom she may go straight home.
PYRG. How do you know that they are here ?
PAL. Because, with my own eyes, I've seen her sister
here.
PYRG. Have you met her? PAL. I have met her.
PYRG. And did she seem a brisk wench?
PAL. You are wishing to have everything.
PYRG. Where did the sister say her mother was?
PAL. The captain that brought them told me that she was
¹ Overhearing)—Ver. 1090. Probably at the upper window, next door.
2 Nor touching you, nor)—Ver. 1092. This is an instance of Aposicpesis H
is about to say something rude, but checks himself.
Sc. III.
127
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
in bed, on board the ship, with sore and inflamed eyes.
This captain of the ship is lodging with them next door.
PYRG. And he, too, is he a very fine fellow?
PAL. Away with you, if you please. What have you to
do with him? You have your hands quite full enough with
the women. Attend to this for the present.
PYRG. As to that advice you were giving me, I wish you
to have a few words with her upon that subject. For, really,
a conversation on that subject with her is more becoming
for you.
PAL. What is more advisable than for you to go yourself,
and transact your own concerns? You must say that it is
absolutely necessary for you to marry that your relations
are persuading, your friends are urging, you.
PYRG. And do you think so? PAL. Why shouldn't I
think so?
PYRG. I'll go in, then. Do you, in the mean time, keep
watch here before the house, that when the other woman
comes out you may call me out.
PAL. Do you only mind the business that you are upon.
PYRG. That, indeed, is resolved upon. For if she will not
go out of her own accord, I'll turn her out by force.
PAL. Do you take care how you do that; but rather let her
go from your house with a good grace³, and give her those
things that I mentioned. The gold trinkets and apparel, with
which you furnished her, let her take away.
PYRG. By my troth, I wish she would.
PAL. I think you'll easily prevail upon her. But go in-
doors; don't linger here.
he was,
PYRG. I obey you. (Goes into his house). PAL. (to the
AUDIENCE). Now, does he really appear to be anything dif-
ferent from what, awhile ago, I told you
this wench-
ing Captain? Now it is requisite that Acroteleutium should
come to me, her maid too, and Pleusicles. O Jupiter! and
does not opportunity favour me in every respect? For those
whom I especially wished to see, I perceive at this moment
coming out here from our neighbour's.
• What have you)—Ver. 1112. This passage is somewhat modified above.
? Is more becoming)—Ver. 1116. He thinks it not suitable to his dignity to
speak on the subject himself, and therefore wishes to put the task upon Palæstrio.
With a good grace)—Ver. 1125. "Per gratiam bonam." "Bonâ gratiâ” was
■ legal term used in the case of amicable divorces with the consent of bo h parties
128
Act IV.
MILES GLORIOSUS;
SCENE IV.
Enter ACROTELEUTIUM, MILPHIDIPPA, and PLEUSICLES
from the house of PERIPLECOMENUS.
ACROT. Follow me; at the same time look around, that
there may be no overlooker.
MIL. Faith, I see no one, only him whom we want to
meet.
PAL. Just as I want you.
MIL. How do you do, our master-plotter?
PAL. I, the master-plotter? Nonsense.
MIL. How SO? PAL. Because, in comparison with your-
self, I am not worthy to fix a beam in a wall.
ACROT. Aye, indeed so. PAL. She's a very fluent and a
very clever hand at mischief. How charmingly she did
polish off the Captain.
Only
MIL. But still, not enough.
PAL. Be of good courage
all the business is now prospering under our hands.
do you, as you have begun, still give a helping hand; for
the Captain himself has gone in-doors, to entreat his mis-
tress to leave his house, with her mother and sister, for
Athens.
PLEUS. Very good-well done. PAL. Besides, all the
gold trinkets and apparel which he himself has provided for
the damsel, he gives her to keep as a present for herself-
so have I recommended him.
PLEUS. Really, it's easily done, if both she wishes it, and
ho desires it as well.
PAL. Don't you know that when, from a deep well, you
have ascended up to the top, there is the greatest danger
lest you should thence fall back again from the top. This
affair is now being carried on at the top of the well. If the
Captain should have a suspicion of it, nothing whatever of his
will be able to be carried off. Now, most especially, we
have need of clever contrivances.
PLEUS. I see that there is material enough at home for
that purpose-three women, yourself the fourth, I am the
fifth, the old gentleman the sixth.
PAL. What an edifice of stratagems has been erected by
us! I know for certain, that any town seems as thougĺ
Sc. 1V.
129
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
it could be taken by these plans: only do you lend your
assistance.
AOROT. For that purpose are we come to you, to see
wish for anything.
if you
PAL. You do what's à propos. Now to you do I assign
this department¹.
ACROT. General, you shall assign me whatever you please,
so far as I am capable.
PAL. I wish this Captain to be played off cleverly and
adroitly.
me.
ACROT. I' faith, you're assigning me what's a pleasure to
PAL. But do you understand how? ACROT. You mean
that I must pretend that I am distracted with love for him.
PAL. Right-you have it. ACROT. And as though by
reason of that love I had foregone² my present marriage,
longing for a match with him.
PAL. Everything exactly in its due order; except only
this one point; you must say that this house (pointing to
the house of PERIPLE COMENUS) was your marriage-portion;
that the old man had departed hence from you after you had
carried out the divorce, lest he should be afraid just now to
come here into the house of another man.
ACROT. You advise me well. PAL. But when he comes
out from in-doors, I wish you-standing at a distance there
so to make pretence, as though in comparison with his
beauty you despised your own, and as though you were
1 This department)-Ver. 1159. "Impero provinciam." This term was pro-
perly applied to the Senate when bestowing a province upon a Proconsul or Pro-
prætor.
2 I had foregone)—Ver. 1164. To account for the facility with which the pre-
tended divorce appears to take place, we must remember that among the Romans
either party was at liberty to dissolve the tie of marriage. Where a husband
divorced his wife, the wife's "dos," or marriage-portion, was in general restored
to her; and the same was the case where the divorce took place by mutual consent.
This will account for Acroteleutium asserting that she had been divorced from
Periplecomenus, and that she had retained possession of the house as having formed
her marriage-portion. As a loss of affection on either side was thought to consti-
tute a good ground for divorce, is is not to be wondered at if the Captain should
believe the story that his neighbour's wife had obtained a divorce on account of her
passion for himself.
K
130
Act IV.
MILES GLORIOSUS;
struck with awe at his opulent circumstances; at the same
time, too, praise the comeliness of his person, the beauty of
his face. Are you tutored enough?
ACROT. I understand it all. Is it enough that I give you my
work so nicely finished off that you cannot find a fault with it.
PAL. I'm content. Now (addressing PLEUSICLES), in
your turn, learn what charge I shall give to you. So soon as
this shall be done, when she shall have gone in, then do you
immediately take care to come here dressed in the garb of a
master of a ship. Have on a broad-brimmed hat¹ of iron-
grey, a woollen shade2 before your eyes; have on an iron-grey
cloak³ (for that is the seaman's colour); have it fastened over
the left shoulder, your right arm projecting out*,
* **
**
* * ** your clothes some way well girded up, pretend as
though you are some master of a ship. And all these re-
quisites are at the house of this old gentleman, for he keeps
fishermen.
PLEUS. Well, when I'm dressed out, why don't you tell
me what I'm to do then?
PAL. Come here, and, in the name of her mother, bring
word to Philocomasium, that, if she would return to Athens,
she must go with you to the harbour directly, and that she
¹ A broad-brimmed hat)-Ver. 1178. "Causia." See the note to 1. 851 of the
"Trinummus."
2 A woollen shade)-Ver. 1178. "Culcitam laneam." The "culcita" here
alluded to was a little cushion padded with wool, which was placed before weak or
diseased eyes to absorb the moisture. It is supposed to have been either bound
against the part affected, or else to have been held in the hand and applied every
now and then. Commentators seem to think that here Pleusicies holds it up to
his eye with his hand when addressing the Captain. They are at a loss to know
why Palæstrio recommends this, as the Captain has never seen Pleusicles, who
was at Naupactus when Philocomasium was carried off. Still, though it is not
mentioned, it may be, because the Captain had seen Pleusicles before he went to
Naupactus; or, what is more probable, that, affecting to have weak eyes, Pleusicles
may not appear so comely as he really is, and not thereby excite any suspicion in
the Captain's mind as to his intentions.
3 An iron-grey cloak)-Ver. 1179. Some think that the "ferrugineus," or iron
colour, here called "colos thalassinus," or "the sea-colour," was dark blue, but
dark grey seems more probable, as the shades of blue were too expensive for
common wear.
↑ Right arm projecting out)—Ver. 1180. This no doubt was the way in which
the "pallium" was usually worn by seafaring men, for the sake of expedition, and
in crder to give free play to the right arın when aboard ship.
Sc. V:
131
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
must order it to be carried down to the ship if she wishes
anything to be put on board; that if she doesn't go, you
must weigh anchor, for the wind is favourable.
PLEUS. I like your plan much.: do proceed.
PAL. The Captain will at once advise her to go speedily
that she may not delay her mother.
PLEUS. Every way you are clever. PAL. I shall tell him
that she asks for me as a helper to carry her baggage down to
the harbour. I shall go, and, understand you, I shall in-
mediately be off with you straight to Athens.
PLEUS. And when you have reached there, I'll never let
you be ashore three days before you're free.
PAL. Be off speedily and equip yourself.
PLEUS. Is there anything besides?
ber all this.
PAL. Only to remem-
PLEUS. I'm off. (Exit.) PAL. And do you (to ACROTE-
LEUTIUM and MILPHIDIPPA) be off hence in-doors this in-
stant, for I'm quite sure that he'll just now be coming out
hence from in-doors.
ACROT. With us your command is as good as law.
PAL. Come, then, begone. But see, the door opens oppor-
tunely. (The women go into the house of PERIPLECO MENUS.)
SCENE V.
Enter PYRGOPOLINICES from his house.
PYRG. What I wished I have obtained just as I wished, on
kind and friendly terms, that she would leave me.
PAL. For what reason am I to say that you have been su
long in-doors ?
PYRG. I never was so sensible that I was beloved by that
woman as now.
PAL. Why so? PYRG. How many words she did utter!
How the matter was protracted! But in the end I obtained
what I wanted, and I granted her what she wanted and what
she asked of me. I made a present of you also to her.
PAL. What-me, too? In what way shall I exist with-
out you?
PYRG. Come, be of good heart; I'll make you free from
her, too. But I used all endeavours, if I could by any
method persuade her to go away, and not take you with her,
she forced me, however.
1.32
Act IV
MILES GLORIOSUS;
PAL. In the Gods and yourself I'll place my trust. Yet,
at the last, although it is bitter to me that I must be deprived
of an excellent master, yourself, at least it is a pleasure to
me that, through my means, by reason of the excellence
of your beauty, this has happened to you with regard to
this lady neighbour, whom I am now introducing to you.
PYRG. What need of words? I'll give you liberty and
wealth if you obtain her for me.
PAL. I'll win her. PYRG. But I'm impatient.
PAL. But moderation is requisite; curb your desires;
don't be over anxious. But see, here she is herself; she is
coming out of doors.
SCENE VI.
Enter ACROTELEUTIUM and MILPHIDIPPA from the house of
PERIPLECOMENUS.
MIL. (in a low voice). Mistress, see! the Captain's near.
ACROT. (in a low voice). Where is he? MIL. Only look
to the left. Eye him askance, that he mayn't perceive that
we are looking at him.
ACROT. I see him. Troth, now's the time, in our mis-
chief, for us to become supremely mischievous.
MIL. 'Tis for you to begin. ACROT. (aloud). Prithee, did
you see him yourself? (Aside.) Don't spare your voice, so
that he may hear.
MIL. (aloud). By my troth, I talked with his own self, at
my ease, as long as I pleased, at my leisure, at my own dis-
cretion, just as I wished.
PYRG. (to PALESTRIO). Do you hear what she says?
PAL. (to PYRGOPOLINICES). I hear. How delighted she is
because she had access to you.
ACROT. (aloud). O happy woman that
PYRG. HOW I do seem to be loved!
you are!
PAL. You are deserving of it. MIL. (aloud). By my troth,
'tis passing strange what you say, that you had access to him
and prevailed. They say that he is usually addressed, like a
king, through letters or messengers.
MIL. (aloud). But, i' faith, 'twas with difficulty I had an
opportunity of approaching and beseeching him.
PAL. (to PYRGOPOLINICES). How renowned you are among
the fair
Sc. V1.
133
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
PYRG. (to PALESTRIO). I shall submit, since Venus wills
it so.
ACROT. (aloud). By heavens! I return to Venus grateful
thanks, and her I do beseech and entreat, that I may win
him whom I love and whom I seek to win, and that to me he
may prove gentle, and not make a difficulty about what I
desire.
MIL. (aloud). I hope it may be so; although many ladies
are seeking to win him for themselves, he disdains them and
estranges himself from all but you alone.
ACROT. (aloud). Therefore this fear torments me, since he
is so disdainful, lest his eyes, when he beholds me, should
change his sentiments, and his own gracefulness should at
once disdain my form.
MIL. (aloud). He will not do so; be of good heart.
PYRG. (to PALESTRIO). How she does slight herself!
ACROT. (aloud). I fear lest your account may have sur-
passed my looks.
MIL. (aloud.) I've taken care of this, that you shall be
fairer than his expectations.
ACROT. (aloud). Troth, if he shall refuse to take me as his
wife, by heavens I'll embrace his knees and entreat him!
If I shall be unable to prevail on him, in some way or other,
I'll put myself to death. I'm quite sure that without him I
cannot live.
PYRG. (to PALESTRIO). I see that I must prevent this
woman's death. Shall I accost her?
Un-
PAL. By no means; for you will be making yourself cheap
if you lavish yourself away of your own accord. Let her come
spontaneously, seek you, court you, strive to win you.
less you wish to lose that glory which you have, please
have a care what you do. For I know that this was never
the lot of any mortal, except two persons, yourself and Phaon
of Lesbos¹, to be loved so desperately.
ACROT. (aloud). I'll go in-doors-or, my dear Milphi-
dippa, do you call him out of doors.
¹ Phaon of Lesbos)-Ver. 1247. Sappho, the poetess, was enamoured of Phaon
the Lesbian. When he deserted her, she threw herself from the Leucadian pro-
montory or Lover's Leap, which was supposed to provide a cure for unrequited
love. Her death was the consequence. See her Epistle to Phaon, the twenty-first
of the Heroides of Ovid.
³ I'll go in-doo; 8)-Ver. 1248. It must be remembered, that all this time they
134
Act IV
MILES GLORIOSUS;
MIL. (aloud). Are; let's wait until some one comes out.
ACROT. (aloud). I can't restrain myself from going in to
him.
MIL. (aloud). The door's fastened. ACROT. (aloud). I'll
break it in then.
MIL. (aloud). You are not in your senses.
ACROT. (aloud). If he has ever loved, or if he has wisdom
equal to his beauty, whatever I may do through love, he will
pardon me by reason of his compassionate feelings.
PAL. (to PYRGOPOLINICES). Prithee, do see, how distracted
the poor thing is with love.
PYRG. (to PALESTRIO). 'Tis mutual in us. PAL. Hush!
Don't you let her hear.
MIL. (aloud). Why do you stand stupefied? Why don't
you knock ?
ACROT. (aloud). Because he is not within whom I want.
MIL. (aloud). How do you know¹? ACROT. (aloud). By
my troth, I do know it easily; for my nose would scent him
if he were within.
PYRG. (to PALESTRIO). She is a diviner. Because she is
'n love with me, Venus has made her prophesy.
ACROT. (aloud). He is somewhere or other close at hand
whom I do so long to behold. I'm sure I smell him.
PYRG. (to PALESTRIO). Troth, now, she really sees better
with her nose than with her eyes.
PAL. (to PYRGOPOLINICES). She is blind from love. ACROT.
(aloud). Prithee, do support me.
MIL. (aloud). Why? ACROT. (aloud). Lest I should
fall.
MIL. (aloud). Why? ACROT. (aloud). Because I cannot
stand; my senses-my senses are sinking so by reason of my
eyes.
MIL. (aloud). Heavens! you've seen the Captain.
ACROT. (aloud). I have. MIL. (aloud). I don't see him.
Where is he?
have pretended not to see Palæstrio or his master. Milphidippa cautioned her
mistress only to take a side-glance at him (limis), after which they have, probably
turned their backs.
¹ How do you know)—Ver. 1255. In Ritschel's edition, these words are attri-
bnted to Palæstrio. This is clearly a mistake, for Palæstrio has not yet joined in
their conversation. He and his master are listening to what they say.
Sc. V1.
135
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
ACROT. (aloud). Troth, you would see him if you were in
Love.
MIL. (aloud). I' faith, you don't love him more than I do
myself, with your good leave.
PAL. (to PYRGOPOLINICES). No doubt all of the women, as
soon as each has seen you, are in love with you.
PYRG. (to PALESTRIO). I don't know whether you have
heard it from me or not; I'm the grandson of Venus.
ACROT. (aloud). My dear Milphidippa, prithee do ap-
proach and accost him.
PYRG. (to PALESTRIO). How she does stand in awe of me!
PAL. (to PYRGOPOLINICES). She is coming towards us.
MIL. (advancing). I wish to speak with you.
PYRG. And we with you. MIL. I have brought my mis-
tress out of the house, as you requested me.
PYRG. So I see. MIL. Request her, then, to approach.
PYRG. Since you have entreated it, I have prevailed upon
my mind not to detest her just like other women.
MIL. I' faith she wouldn't be able to utter a word if she
were to come near you; while she was looking at you, her
eyes have in the meantime tied her tongue.
PYRG. I see that this woman's disorder must be cured.
MIL. See how terrified she is since she beheld you.
PYRG. Even armed men are the same; don't wonder at a
woman being so. But what does she wish me to do ?
MIL. You to come to her house; she wishes to live and
to pass her life with you.
PYRG. What!-I come home to her, when she is a mar-
ried woman? Her husband is to be stood in fear of.
MIL. Why, for your sake, she has turned her husband
out of her house.
PYRG. HOW? How could she do so?
MIL. The house was her marriage-portion.
PYRG. Was it so? MIL. It was so, on my word.
PYRG. Bid her go home; I'll be there just now.
MIL. Take care, and don't keep her in expectation; don't
torment her feelings.
PYRG. Not I, indeed. Do you go then. MIL. We are
going. (ACROTELEUTIUM and MILPHIDIPPA go into the house
of PERIPLECOMENUS.)
PYRG. But what do I see? PAL. What do you see?
136
Act IV.
MILES GLORIOSUS ;
PYRG. See there, some one is coming, I know not who,
but in a sailor's dress.
PAL. He is surely wanting us, now; really, it is the ship
master.
PYRG. He's come, I suppose, to fetch her.
PAL. I fancy so.
SCENE VII.
Enter PLEUSICLES, at a distance, in a Sailor's dress.
PLEUS. (to himself). Did I not know that another man in
other ways has done many a thing unbecomingly on account
of love, I should be more ashamed by reason of love for me to
be going in this garb. But since I have learned that many per-
sons by reason of love have committed many actions, dis-
* * ** for
graceful and estranged from what is good, *
I pass by how Achilles suffered¹ his comrades to be slain-
But there's Palæstrio, he's standing with the Captain.
My talk must now be changed for another kind. Woman
is surely born of tardiness itself. For every other delay,
which is a delay just as much, seems a less delay than that
which is on account of a woman. I really think that this is
done merely from habit. But I shall call for this Philoco-
masium. I'll knock at the door then. Hallo! is there any
one here? (Knocks at the CAPTAIN's door.)
PAL. Young man-what is it?
Why are you knocking ?
What do you want?
PLEUS. I'm come to inquire for Philocomasium; I'm come
from her mother. If she's for going, let her set off. She is
delaying us all; we wish to weigh anchor.
PYRG. Her things have been some time in readiness.
Hearkye, Palæstrio, take some assistants with you to carry
to the ship her golden trinkets, her furniture, apparel, all
her precious things. All the articles are already packed up
which I gave her.
PAL. I'll go. (Goes into the house.) PLEUS. Troth now,
prithee, do make haste.
PYRG. There shall be no delay. Pray, what is it that has
been done with your eye?
'Achilles suffered)—Ver. 1289. This was when he withdrew from the warfare
on being deprived of Briseis by Agamemnon, on which occasion Hector made
great havoc among the Grecian forces.
• That has been done)-Ver 1306. He asks " what has been done with
"
or "be
Sc. VIII.
137
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
PLEUS. Troth, but I have my eye. (Points to the right one.)
PYRG. But the left one I mean.
On account of the sea, I use this
away from the sea¹, I should use
But they are detaining me too long.
PLEUS. I'll tell you.
eye less; but if I kept
the one like the other.
PYRG. See, here they are coming out.
SCENE VIII.
Enter PALESTRIO and PHILOCOMASIUM from the CAPTAIN'S
house.
PAL. (to PHILOCOMASIUM). Prithee, when will you this
day make an end of your weeping?
PHIL. What can I do but weep? I am going away
hence where I have spent my days most happily.
PAL. See, there's the man that has come from your
mother and sister (pointing to PLEUSICLES).
PHIL. I see him. PYRG. Palæstrio, do you hear?
PAL. What is your pleasure? PYRG. Aren't you order-
ing those presents to be brought out which I gave her?
PLEUS. Health to you, Philocomasium. PHIL. And health
to you.
PLEUS. Your mother and sister bade me give their love
to you.
PHIL. Heaven prosper them. PLEUS. They beg you to
set out, so that, while the wind is fair, they may set sail.
But if your mother's eyes had been well, she would have
come² together with me.
me.
PHIL. I'll go; although I do it with regret-duty compels
PLEUS. You act wisely. PYRG. If she had not been passing
her life with myself, this day she would have been a blockhead.
come of," his eye? On which Pleusicles tells him, by way of a quibble, that he has
got his eye, alluding to the right one, while the Captain refers to the left, against
which the "lectica" is placed.
¹ From the sea)—Ver. 1309. There is a pun here, which cannot be preserved
in the translation. "Si abstinuissem a mare, ""If I kept away from the sea,
may also be read, "Si abstinuissem amare," "If I refrained from loving." The
Captain understands him in the former sense, thinking that he means that he
has got a disease in his eye, which may be increased by leading a seafaring life.
2 She would have come)-Ver. 1318. Thornton justly observes that this excuse
for the pretended mother not making her appearance is fair enough, but there is
no reason alleged why the sister should not come, except that we may suppose
that she stay to nurse and comfort her sick parent.
138
· Act IV.
MILES GLORIOSUS;
PHIL. I am distracted at this, that I am estranged from
such a man. For you are able to make any woman what.
ever abound in wit; and because I was living with you,
for that reason I was of a very lofty spirit. I see that I
must lose that loftiness of mind. (Pretends to cry.)
PYRG. Don't weep. PHIL. I can't help it when I look
upon you.
PYRG. Be of good courage. PHIL. I know what pain it
is to me.
PAL. I really don't wonder now, Philocomasium, if you
were here with happiness to yourself, when I, a servant-
as I look at him, weep because we are parting (pretends
to cry), so much have his beauty, his manners, his valour,
captivated your feelings.
PHIL. Prithee, do let me embrace you before I depart?
PYRG. By all means. PHIL. (embracing him). O my
eyes! O my life!
PAL. Do hold up the woman, I entreat you, lest she should
fall. (He takes hold of her, and she pretends to faint.)
PYnG. What means this? PAL. Because, after she had
quitted you, she suddenly became faint, poor thing.
PYRG. Run in and fetch some water.
PAL. I want no water; but I had rather you would keep
at a distance. Prithee, don't you interfere till she comes to.
PYRG. (observing PLEUSICLES, who is holding PHILOCOMA-
SIUM in his arm). They have their heads too closely in con-
tact between them; I don't like it; he is soldering his lips¹
to hers. What the plague are you about?
PLEUS. I was trying whether she was breathing or not.
PYRG. You ought to have applied your ear then.
PLEUS. If you had rather, I'll let her go.
PYRG. No, I don't care; do you support her.
PAL. To my misery, I'm quite distracted.
PYRG. Go and bring here from in-doors all the things
that I have given her.
PAL. And even now, household God, do I salute thee
before I depart; my fellow-servants, both male and female,
all farewell, and happy may you live; prithee, though absent,
among yourselves bestow your blessings upon me as well.
He is soldering his lips)-Ver. 1335, "Ferruminat" is a strong expression
bere; it literally means to weld iron with iron, hammering it in a red-hot state
Sc. VIII.
139
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
PYRG. Come, Palæstrio, be of good courage.
PAL. Alas! alas! I cannot but weep since from you I must
depart.
PYRG. Bear it with patience. PHIL. (feigning to recover).
Ha! how's this? What means it? Hail, O light!
PLEUS. Are you recovered now ? PHIL. Prithee, what
person am I embracing? I'm undone. Am I myself?
PLEUS. (in a low voice). Fear not, my delight.
PYRG. What means all this? PAL. Just now she swooned
away here.
*
*
*
*
*
*
I fear and dread that this at last may take place¹ too openly.
PYRG. What is that you say? PAL. I fear that some one
may turn it to your discredit, while all these things are being
carried after us through the city.
PYRG. I have given away my own property, and not theirs.
I care but little for other people. Be off then, go with the
blessing of the Gods.
PAL. 'Tis for your sake I say it.
PYRG. I believe you. PAL. And now farewell!
PYRG. And heartily farewell to you! PAL. (to PLEUSICLES
and PHILOCOMASIUM as they leave). Go you quickly on; I'll
overtake you directly; I wish to speak a few words with my
master. (To PYRGOPOLINICES.) Although you have ever
deemed others more faithful to yourself than me, still do I
owe you many thanks for all things; and if such were your
feelings, I would rather be a slave to you by far than be the
freedman of another.
PYRG. Be of good courage.
PAL. Ah me! When it
comes in my mind, how my manners must be changed, how
womanish manners must be learnt, and the military ones
forgotten!
PYRG. Take care and be honest.
PAL. I can be so no longer; I have lost all inclination?.
May take place)-Ver. 1347. Palæstrio cannot help exclaiming against the
indiscreet conduct of the lovers. The Captain overhears him, and asks him what
is the matter. He adroitly turns it off, by saying, "that if thus openly the
oods and furniture are carried through the city, he very much fears that his
master will be censured for his extreme prodigality."
2 Lost all inclination)—Ver. 1360. A pun is thought to be intended here on the
word "lubidinem," but of so wretched a nature that it is not worth any furthe
allusion to it.
140
MILES GLORIOSUS;
PYRG. Go, follow them; don't linger.
Act IV
PAL. Fare you right well. PYRG. And heartily fare you
well.
PAL. Prithee, do remember me; if perchance I should
happen to be made free, I'll send the news to you; don't
you forsake mel.
PYRG. That is not my habit.
PAL. Consider every now and then how faithful I have
been to you. If you do that, then at last you'll know who
is honest towards you and who dishonest.
PYRG. I know it; I have often found that true, as well
before as to-day in especial.
PAL. Do you know it? Aye, and this day I'll make you
hereafter say still more how true it is.
PYRG. I can hardly refrain from bidding you to stay.
PAL. Take you care how you do that. They may say that
you are a liar and not truthful, that you have no honor; they
may say that no one of your slaves is trustworthy except my-
self. If, indeed, I thought you could do it with honor, I
should advise you.
But it cannot be; take care how you
do so.
PYRG. Be off; I'll be content then, whatever happens.
PAL. Then, fare you well. PYRG. 'Twere better you should
go with a good heart.
PAL. Still, once more, farewell. (Exit.) PYRG. Before this
affair, I had always thought that he was a most rascally ser-
vant; still, I find that he is faithful to me.
When I con-
sider with myself, I have done unwisely in parting with him.
I'll go hence at once now to my love here: the door, too, I
perceive, makes a noise there.
SCENE IX.
Enter a Boy from the house of PERIPLECOMENUS.
Boy. (to some one within). Don't you be advising me; I
remember my duty; this moment I'll find him. Wherever
¹ Don't you forsake me)—Ver. 1363. He hypocritically entreats his master
not to desert him in need, should he be made free, and be thereby thrown entirely
upon his own resources.
2 Take you care how)—Ver. 1368. There is considerable drollery in his anxiety
lest his master should suddenly change his mind and refuse to let him go. His situ
ation would, indeed, under such circumstances have proved an unfortunate one.
Sc. IX.
141
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
on earth he may chance to be, I'll search him out; I'll not
be sparing of my pains.
PYRG. 'Tis I he is looking for, I'll go and meet this
boy.
Boy. O, I'm looking for you; save you, dearest sir, one
loaded by opportunity with her gifts, and whom before all
others two Divinities do favour.
PYRG. What two? Boy. Mars and Venus.
PYRG. A sprightly boy. Box. She entreats that you will
go in; she wishes-she longs for you, and while expecting
you, she's dying for you. Do succour one in love. Why
do you stay? Why don't you go in ?
PYRG. Well, I'll go. (Enters the house of PERIPLECO-
MENUS.)
Boy. There has he entangled himself at once in the toils.
The snare is prepared: the old gentleman is standing at his
post¹ to attack the letcher, who is so boastful of his good
looks; who thinks that, whatever woman sees him, all are in
love with him ; whom all, both men and women, detest. Now
I will on to the uproar; I hear a tumult within.
ACT THE FIFTH.
SCENE 12.
Enter PERIPLECOMENUS from his house, with CARIO and
other SERVANTS, dragging PYRGOPOLINICES.
If he doesn't follow, drag
Make him to be between
(They beat him.)
PERIP. Bring that fellow along.
him, lifted on high³, out of doors.
heaven and earth; cut him in pieces.
¹ At his post)—Ver. 1389. He alludes to the attitude in which the old gentle-
man, Periplecomenus, is standing in-doors, ready to sally forth on the Captain the
moment he is entrapped.
2 Scene I.) Thornton here remarks, that "there cannot be a stronger proof
of the absurdities into which the ancients were forced by a preservation of the
unity of place than the present passage. The Captain is surprised in Periple-
comenus's own house, carrying on an intrigue with the old gentleman's pretended
wife, in consequence of which they proceed to frighten him with the cook's
threatening to go to work upon him with his knife. Can anything be more th
natural or improbable than that for this purpose they should drag him out of
the house and into the public street?
3 Lifted on high)-Ver. 1394. He means, "take him your arms," or "hoict
bim on your shoulders."

142
Act V.
MILES GLORIOSUS;
PYRG. By my troth, I do entreat you, Periplecomenus.
PERIP. By my troth, you do entreat in vain. Take care,
Cario, that that knife of yours is very sharp.
CARIO. Why, it's already longing to rip up the stomach
of this letcher. I'll make his entrails hang just as a bauble
hangs from a baby's neck.
PYRG. I'm a dead man.
soon.
PERIP. Not yet; you say so too
CARIO. Shall I have at this fellow now ?
PERIP. Aye,--but first let him be thrashed with cudgels.
CARIO. True, right lustily. PERIP. Why have you dared,
you disgraceful fellow, to seduce another man's wife?
PYRG. So may the Gods bless me, she came to me of her
own accord.
PERIP. It's a lie. Lay on.
Lay on.
PYRG. Stay, while I tell-
tating ?
(They are about to strike.)
PERIP. Why are you hesi-
PYRG. Will you not let me speak ?
PERIP. Speak, then. PynG. I was entreated to come here.
PERIP. How did you dare? There's for you, take that.
(Strikes him.)
PYRG. O! O! I've had enough. Prithee, now.
CARIO. Am I to begin cutting him up at once?
PERIP. As soon as you like. Stretch the fellow out, and
spread out his pinions¹ in opposite ways.
PYRG. By heavens, prithee, do hear my words before he
cuts me.
PERIP. Speak before you're made of no sex.
PYRG. I supposed that she was a widow; and so her maid,
who was her go-between, informed me.
PERIP. Now take an oath that you won't injure any
person for this affair, because you have been beaten here to-
day, or shall be beaten hereafter, if we let you go safe hence,
you dear little grandson of Venus2.
PYRG. I swear by Dione³ and Mars that I will hurt no one
1 Spread out his pinions)-Ver. 1407. "Dispennite." He means, "stretch him
out as you would spread out to their utmost length the wings of a bird."
Grandson of Venus)-Ver. 1413. This is an allusion to the Captains own
boast in Act IV. s. 4, that he was the grandson of Venus.
3 By Dione)-Ver. 1414. Dione, according to Homer, was the name of the
mother of Venus; but the name is much more frequently used, as in the present
nstance, to signify Venus herself. He appropriately swears by these guardian
Deitics of intrigue. The translation of 1. 1416 is somewhat modified.
Sc. II.
143
THE BRAGGART CAPTAIN.
because I have been beaten here this day; and I think that it
was rightfully done; and if I don't go hence further injured,
I am rightly punished for the offence.
PERIP. But what if you don't do so?
PYRG. Then, may I always have my word not to be trusted¹.
CARIO. Let him be beaten once more; after that I think
he may be dismissed.
PYRG. May the Gods ever bless you, since you so kindly
come as my advocate.
CARIO. Give us a golden mina², then.
PYRG. For what reason? CARIO. That we may now let you
go hence unmaimed, you little grandson of Venus; otherwise.
you shall not escape from here; don't you deceive yourself.
PYRG. It shall be given you. CARIO. You're very wise
As for your tunic, and your scarf³, and sword, don't at ali
hope for them; you shan't have them.
A SERVANT. Shall I beat him again, or do you let him go?
PYRG. I'm tamed by your cudgels. I do entreat you.
PERIP. Loose him. PYRG. I return you thanks.
PERIP. If I ever catch you here again, I'll insert a dis
qualifying clause.
PYRG. Well I make no objection.
:
PERIP. Let's go in, Cario. (PERIPLECOMENUS, CARIO, and
SERVANTS, go into his house.)
SCENE II.
Enter SCELEDRUS and other SERVANTS of the CAPTAIN.
PYRG. Here are some of my servants, I see.
Philocomasium off yet.
Tell me, is
SCEL. Aye, some time since. PYRG. Ah me!
SCEL. You would say that still more if you were to know
¹ Not to be trusted)-Ver. 1417. "Intestabilis." A gross pun is here in-
tended, and in 1. 1420 as well. The word here signifies "forsworn," or "per-
jured," so infamous, that his testimony will never be received in a Court of justice.
2 A golden mina)-Ver. 1420. The golden "mina" was worth ten silver ones,
or one thousand “drachmæ,” of about ninepence three-farthings each.
³ And your scarf')—Ver. 1423. The "chlamys" was an outer garment worn
among the Greeks and Oriental nations, somewhat resembling our scarfs. That
worn by the Captain would probably be of great value, which of course would tempt
the cupidity of his persecutors. The translation of 1. 1426 is somewhat modified.
You would say that)-Ver. 1428. Sceledrus, probably, only enters at this mo-
ment with the other servants of the Captain; the editions, in general, somewhat
absurdly represent him as present from the beginning of the Fifth Act.
144
Act V.
MILES GLORIOSUS.
what I know, for that fellow who had the wool before his
eye was no sailor.
PYRG. Who was he, then? SCEL. A lover of Philo-
comasium's.
PYRG. How do you know? SCEL. I do know: for after
they had got out of the city gate, they didn't wait a moment
before falling to kissing and embracing each other at once.
PYRG. O wretched fool that I am! I see that I have
been gulled. That scoundrel of a fellow, Palæstrio, it was he
that contrived this plot against me.
SCEL. I think it was properly done. If it were so done to
other letchers, there would be fewer letchers here; they
would stand more in awe, and give their attention less to these
pursuits.
TYRG. Let's go into my house.
An ACTOR (to the AUDIENCE). Give us your applause

BACCHIDES;
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS.
Dramatis Personæ.
SILENUS, the Divinity, who speaks the Prologue.
NICOBULUS, an aged citizen of Athens.
MNESILOCHUS, his son.
PHILOXENUS, another aged citizen of Athens.
PISTOCLERUS, his son.
LYDUS, servant of Philoxenus, and tutor of Pistoclerus
CHRYSALUS, servant of Nicobulus.
CLEOMACHUS, a Captain of Samos.
A PARASITE of Cleomachus.
Boy, servant of Cleomachus.
SERVANT of Pistoclerus (in the introductory fragment).
ARTAMO, servant of Nicobulus.
FIRST BACCHIS
SECOND BACCHIS
} Twin-sisters, Courtesans.
Joe.-Athens: before the houses of the FIRST BACCHISs and of PнпKEY✯
which are in the same street
L
TFE SUBJECT.
MNESILOCHUS, when absent at Ephesus, writes and requests his friend, Pisto-
clerus, to search for his mistress, Bacchis, who has left Athens with a military
Captain. Having discovered her on her return to Athens, Pistoclerus falls in
love with her twin-sister, whose name is also Bacchis, and is severely reproved
by his tutor, Lydus, for so doing. Mnesilochus returns to Athens, and discovers
from Lydus that his friend Pistoclerus is in love with a female of the name of
Bacchis. He thereupon imagines that he has supplanted him with his own
austress, and in his anger resolves to restore to his father some money of his
which he had gone to Ephesus to recover, and a part of which he had contrived,
through a scheme of the servant Chrysalus, to retain, in order that he might
redeem his mistress from the Captain. Having afterwards discovered the truth.
he greatly repents that he has done so, as the officer threatens to carry Bacchis
off instantly, if the money is not paid. On this, Chrysalus contrives another
stratagem against Nicobulus, his aged master, and makes him, through fear of
the Captain's threats, pay the required sum. Having gained not only this but a
still further sum of money, the young men regale themselves at the house of
Bacchis. Nicobulus afterwards discovers from the Captain the trick that has
been played upon him, and he and Mnesilochus repair to the house of Bacchis to
demand their sons. The damsels, hereupon, apply themselves to coaxing the
old men, who are at last persuaded to forgive their scns and Chrysalus
uni to go into the house and join the entertainment.
BACCHIDES;
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS.
THE ACROSTIC ARGUMENT.
[Supposed to have been written by Priscian the Grammarian. ]
MNESILOCHUS is inflamed with love for Bacchis (Bacchidis). But, first of all,
he goes to Ephesus, to bring back some gold (Aurum). Bacchis sails for
Crete (Cretam), and meets with (Convenit) the other Bacchis; thence she re-
turns to Athens; upon this (Hinc), Mnesilochus sends a letter to Pistoclerus,
that he may seek for her (Illam). He returns; he makes a quarrel while
(Dum) he supposes that his own mistress is beloved by Pistoclerus; when they
have discovered the mistake as to the twin-sisters, Mnesilochus pays the gold
to that (Ei) Captain; equally are the two in love. The old men (Senes), while
they are looking after their sons, join the women, and carouse.
THE PROLOGUE¹.
Spoken by SILENUS, mounted on his Ass.
'Tis a wonder if the spectators on the benches this
day don't hiss, and cough, and make a snorting noise at
this ridiculous sight, furrow their brows, and, with cries
with one consent, shout all aloud, and mutter impreca-
tions. Hardly in their youth can beardless actors, or mimics
with their beards plucked out, find room upon the stage.
Why comes forth this aged and lethargic go-between, who
is borne upon the ass's back? Listen, I pray, and give me
your attention, while I tell you the name of this quiet
Comedys. 'Tis proper for you to make silence for a Divinity.
1 Prologue) There is little doubt that this Prologue is spurious, but as it is pre-
fixed to many of the editions, and to Thornton's and the French translations, it is
here inserted. Lascaris, the Greek grammarian, says, in a letter to Bembo, that it
was discovered by him in Sicily. Some writers have supposed it to have been
written by the Poet Petrarch.
2 With cries with one consent)-Ver. 3. " Concrepario" is a barbarous word,
formed from "crepo," to make a noise.
• Quiet Comedy)-Ver. 10. "Statariæ." There were two kinds of Comedy repre-
L 2
1-18
BACCHIDES;
It befits not those to use the resources of the voice, who come
here not to exclaim, but to be spectators. Give me attentive
ears; but not into my hands I mean; I wish my voice¹, as it
flies, to strike these vacant ears. What do you fear? Are
those blows more hurtful which open what is shut2, or which
close what is open? You're very kind; the inhabitants of
heaven do love you deservedly. There is profound silence
-even the children are still-and now, attend to a new-come
messenger, on a new errand. Who I am-why I am come
to you I'll tell you in a few words; at the same time, I'll
disclose to you the name of this Comedy. Now, behold, I
shall tell you what you wish to know; do you then give me
your attention. I am a God of Nature³, the foster-father of
most mighty Bromius, him who, with a female army5, gained
a kingdom. Whatever about him renowned nations relate,
some part, at least, has been accomplished by my advice.
That which pleases me is never displeasing to him. 'Tis
right if one father another father does obey. Ass-borne do
the Ionian multitudes style me, because I am borne on an
sented on the ancient stage, one of which was called "stataria," while the other
was "motoria." In the first, the actors stood still, or moved about quietly, and
with little gesture; while in the other, dancing, gesture, and grimace were exten-
sively employed.
¹ I wish my voice)—Ver. 15. There is a poor attempt at alliteration here, in the
words "volo volans vox vacuas.'
""
2 What is shut)—Ver. 17. This passage is obscure, but the meaning seems to
be, "Is it anything more disagreable to open your ears and listen, than to keep
them shut and be stunned by my noise? for talk I will.
3 A God of Nature)-Ver. 25. The ancients considered Pan, Silenus, Sylvanus,
the Fauns, the Dryades, the Hyades, and the Oreades, as Gods of Nature, pre-
siding over it in its various aspects.
4 Bromius)-Ver. 25. Bromius was one of the names of Bacchus, probably de-
rived from ẞpéμw, " to make a noise;" the Bacchanalian orgies being attended with
βρέμω,
riot and drunkenness.
5 With a female army)—Ver. 26. He alludes to the Indian expedition of Bac-
chus, who was fabled to have marched thither at the head of an army of Bacchantes
or "Bacchæ," females who were his votaries.
• If one father)-Ver. 30. The ancients gave the Gods the title of "pater,'
"father," by way of honorable distinction. Bacchus would especially be so ho-
nored, as wine was looked upon as one of the chief supports of life.
7 Ionian multitudes)-Ver. 31. The Lydians were adjacent to the people of
Ionia. Etruria, which supplied the earliest actors to Rome, was supposed to have
reen colonised by the Lydians.
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS.
149
ass for my conveyance. Who I am, you understand: if you
understand, allow me now to tell the name of this quiet play;
at the same time, you may learn why I have come to you,
Philemon formerly produced a play in Greek; this, those
who speak the Greek language call "Evantides;" Plautus,
who speaks the Latin, calls it "Bacchides." "Tis not to be
wondered, then, if hither I have come. Bacchus sends to you
the Bacchides-the Bacchanalian Bacchanals. I am bringing
them unto you. What! Have I told a lie? It don't become
a God to tell a lie; but the truth I tell-I bring not them;
but the salacious ass, wearied with its journey, is bringing
to you three, if I remember right. One you behold; see
now, what on my lips I bring-to wit, two Samian sisters+,
Bacchanalians, merry Courtesans, born of the same parents,
at one time, at a twin-birth; not less alike than milk to milk,
if you compare it, or water to water; were you to see them
you would think them halved5; so much would
so much would you confuse
your sight, that you would not be able to distinguish which
was which. What remains you long to hear. Now give at-
tention: the story of this Play I will disclose. What country
Samos is, is known to all; for seas, lands, mountains, and
islands, have your legions made easy of access. There, Sostrata
bore to her husband, Pyrgoteles Pyrocles7, twin-daughters at
one birth; and it pleased them, being initiated at the tri-
¹ Borne on an ass)-Ver. 31. "Asibidam." This is a spurious word, probably
invented by the author.
2 Philemon)—Ver. 36. Philemon was a Greek Comic poet, of considerable merit,
though inferior to Menander, of whom he was a contemporary. This play is more
generally supposed to have been borrowed from a Comedy of Menander, which was
called Δις Εξαπατῶν, “ the Twice Deceived."
³ Evantides)—Ver. 37. “Evantides" corresponds with the Latin word “Bac-
chantes," "followers," or "namesakes" of Bacchus," as Evan" was one of the
names by which that God was addressed during the celebration of the orgies.
♦ Samian sisters)-Ver. 46. Samos was an island off the coast of Ionia, near
Ephesus. It was the birthplace of the philosopher Pythagoras.
5 Think them halved)-Ver 50. "Dimidiatas"-"one split into two.
,,
• Ilave your legions)—Ver. 57. IIe is supposed to be flattering the Romans in
their love for foreign conquest.
¹ Pyrgoteles Pyrocles)—Ver. 58. It was quite unusual for the Greeks to have
two names. They have here been introduced either for the sake of the metre, úr,
as the Delphin editor suggests, as meaning "her husband Pyrocles, who was a
regular Pyrgoteles," that is, a most skilful engraver; a celebrated artist of that
name having flourished in the time of Alexander the Great.
150
BACCH.DES ;
ennial festival¹ of Bacchus, to call after his name the damsels
of which they were the parents. The parents, as often hap-
pens, gave a turn to their future fortunes. A Captain car-
ried one of them with him to Crete. The other of the twins
sailed for Athens. As soon as Mnesilochus, the son of Ni-
cobulus, beheld her, he began to love her, and frequently
paid her visits. Meantime, his father sent the youth to
Ephesus, to bring back thence some gold, which he himself,
some time before, had deposited with Archidemides, an an-
cient friend of his, an aged Phoenician. When, for two years
he had stayed at Ephesus, he received the sad news that
Bacchis was gone from Athens, for some sailors of his ac-
quaintance sent him word that she had set sail. On this, he
writes a letter to Pistoclerus, his only friend, the son of Phi-
loxenus, entreating him to seek the fugitive with care and ear-
nestness. While Pistoclerus is devoting his services to his
friend, the twin-sisters, who have just returned to Athens,
arouse a passion in the seeker. The one wins Pistoclerus for
herself; the other longs for the coming of Mnesilochus. What
wonder if two bewitching, merry, pretty Bacchantes, should
attract to themselves two unfledged Bacchanalians, and if
they should ensnare their decrepit, most aged fathers, fit
subjects for the undertaker¹, bowed down by the weight of
¹ Triennial festival)—Ver. 60. Among the festivals of Bacchus, there was one
which occurred every three years, and was called the "Trieterica." On that occa-
sion the Bacchantes carried the figure of the God on a chariot, drawn by two tigers
or panthers, and crowned with vine leaves; holding thyrsi in their hands, they
ran in a frantic manner around the chariot, filling the air with the sound of tam-
bourines and brazen instruments, shouting "Evoë Bacche," and calling the God
by his several names of Bromius, Lyæus, Evan, Lenæus, and Sabazius. To this
ceremonial, which was derived from the Egyptians, the Greeks added other
rites, replete with licentiousness and repulsive to decency. The author says
that the parents of the Bacchides were initiated at this festival, and that in com-
pliment to the God they named each of the newly-born twins "Bacchis."
2 Gave a turn to)-Ver. 62. "Fata occupant." "Consider the fact of their
being born at that period as ominous of their future destiny, and devote them te
the service of the Deity."
3 Sailed for Athens)-Ver. 64. Literally, "Cecropiæ." Cecrops was the founder
of Athens.
↑ Subjects for the undertaker)—Ver. 84. "Libitinarios." This word properly
orresponds to our word "undertakers." They were so called because their biers
and other requisites were kept in the temple of the Goddess "Libitina." The word
here has the forced meaning of "persons with one not in the grave.”
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS.
151
their years? But, see, here's Pistoclerus, who is returning
to the Bacchides so lately found, and in his simplicity is
blowing in himself the sparks of passion so lately kindled.
Now I'm off-do you attend.
(Exit.
PISTOC.
ACT THE FIRST.
*
SCENE 12.
Enter PISTOCLERUS.
*
*
*
**
those who are³ of a thrifty turn of mind, modest, and with-
out servility.
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Chains, rods, and mills; their shocking brutality becomes
worse.
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
**
*
She who keeps my friend and me engaged.
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
**
(Exit.
**
¹ In his simplicity)—Ver. 87. "Insolens." Mnesilochus is already in love with
the Second Bacchis before the play commences; but Pistoclerus is entrapped
during the First Act.
2 Scene I.) The portion from the commencement of this scene down to the begin-
ning of the thirty-fifth line, is translated from the fragments of the beginning of the
play which have been lately discovered by the research of Ritschel. It was gene-
rally supposed by Commentators that the beginning of the play had been lost, and
that the author of the Prologue, or some other writer, had supplied the hiatus by
adding a first scene of his own composition; in which he represents, somewhat in-
consistently, Pistoclerus as having been in love with the First Bacchis before the
play began, whereas it is obviously the intention of Plautus to represent him as
drawn into the amour by her allurements during the First Act. It is worthy of
remark, that the learned and ingenious Rost was of opinion that the beginning of
this play had not been lost, and that it properly commenced at line 35, “Quod si
hoc potis est." This opinion, however, is thoroughly controverted by the result of
the researches of Ritschel. Although, for the sake of brevity, these fragments are
here grouped into one Scene, to supply the place of the spurious Scene which for-
merly occupied their place, it is clear that they are really the remnants of several
Scenes, introductory to the attempt of the First Bacchis to entrap Pistocérus.
3 Those who are)-Ver. 1. It is not unlikely that this and the next three ines
are fragments of a Prologue, spoken by Pistoclerus, in which he is complimenting
the ingenuity shown by the slave Chrysalus throughout the piece, as he is making
reference to the punishment of slaves when speaking of "chains, rods, and the
mill;" to which latter place refractory slaves were sent for hard labour.
152
Act 1
BACCHIDES;
Enter FIRST BACCHIS.
1st BACCH. I have heard¹ that Ulysses underwent toils
innumerable, who, in wanderings, was twenty years away
from his native land. But this young man by far outdoes
Ulysses; who here in this spot is wandering within the walls
of the city.
*
*
1st BACCH.
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
* She was of the same name with myself.
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
1st BACCH. Sweep out the house2 with brooms, work briskly.
* Will some one
call that most dirty fellow with the water-pail³ and the
water.
CLEOM.
CLEOMACHUS, SECOND BACCHIS.
*
**
*
*
But if a life¹ of
wantonness is perchance preferred by you, consider the price
that I agreed to give you that at that age you might not be
following me for nought
*
*
*
that
from no one else you might be receiving a yearly pay, except
from oneself, nor be toying with any man
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
** like slugs upon a man.
PISTOCLERUS, SECOND BACCHIS, SERVANT.
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
1 I have heard)-Ver. 5. This is probably the commencement of a Scene. The
First Bacchis is revolving her plans against Pistoclerus, who is wandering through
the city in search of the mistress of his friend Mnesilochus.
2 Sweep out the house)-Ver. 10. She is evidently ordering the servants to put
the house in readiness against the arrival of her sister from abroad.
3 The water-pail)-Ver. 12. "Nassiterna" was a pail, or water-pot, having
three spouts or mouths.
▲ But if a life)—Ver. 13. Here is another Scene. It would appear probable that
the Second Bacchis, having heard, on her arrival, that Mnesilochus, by his friend, is
m search of her, signifies to the Captain her intention to remain at Athens, and
not to accompany him to Elatia in Phocis, on which he reminds her of the sum of
money he has given her, and the original terins of the agreement. It would
appear that he proceeds to threaten with his wrath any more fortunate rival; and
*hen concludes by inveighing against harlots in general, as "limaces," "snails,"
or "slugs," in the same way as a Comic writer of our day might style thom
"leeches," or "bloodsuckers." It may be remarked, that with the ancients, the
snail was the emblem of salacity.
Sc. II.
153
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS.
PISTOC As like as milk¹ is to milk; whatever is her name
*
*
*
*
*
SERV. The soldier who sells his life for gold
*
**
*
*
*
I know that his breath is
much stronger than when the bellows of bull's hide are
blowing, when the rocks melt where the iron is made.
PISTOC. Of what country did he seem to you ?
SERV. I think he is of Præneste²; he was such a boaster.
PISTOC.
** The city *
*
and I don't think it is in spurious boastfulness.
*
*
*
*
SCENE II.
*
*
Enter FIRST and SECOND BACCHIS.
1st BACCH.
*
*
*
My heart, my
hope³, my honey, my sweetness, my nutriment, my delight.
Let me bestow on you my love
***
*
** the Arabian
**
*
*
you?
*
*
*
Has Cupid or has love overpowered
*
*
*
Perhaps to suspect that you are in love.
**
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Get money from that
* for I really do
believe that with ease you can enchant the heart of any man*.
quarter
¹ As like as milk)—Ver. 19. Here again is another Scene. Pistoclerus has
caught sight of the Second Bacchis, but being unaware that she really is the
person whom he is in search of, he remarks upon her strong resemblance to the
First Bacchis, with whom, by this time, he has probably had an interview on the
subject. His servant then comes and informs him that she is the person whom
he is looking for, but that she is under the protection of a mighty Captain, whose
breast heaves like a pair of blacksmith's bellows.
2 Is of Præneste)-Ver. 24. He has a hit here at the people of Præneste, whom
he has in a former play censured for their bad grammar, and whom he here repre-
sents as occupying the same place in Roman estimation, as the Gascons do, whe-
ther deservedly or not, in ours.
3 My heart, my hope)—Ver. 27. The First Bacchis seems here to be repeating
her first lessons in the attack which she is about to make on the heart of the
novice Pistoclerus; she is evidently conning over the flattering things that she
intends to say to him.
The heart of any man)-Ver. 34. With this line conclude the fragments
which have been brought to light by Ritschel; in the previous editions the next ling
coumences the second Scene, the spurious Scene preceding it.
154
Act L
BACCHIDES ;
2nd BACCH.
*
*
*
*
1st ВAсCH. And suppose it is much better that you should
hold your peace, and I should speak?
2nd BACCH. With pleasure; you may proceed.
1st BACCH. When my memory shall fail me, then do you
take care to aid me, sister.
2nd ВACCн. I' faith, I'm more afraid that I shan't have
the choice of prompting you.
1st BACCH. Troth, I'm afraid the little nightingale may
lose her powers¹ of song. Follow this way. (They move.)
Enter PISTOClerus.
PISTOO. What are these two Courtesans, the namesake-
sisters, about ?
1st BACCH. Nothing is there more wretched than a woman.
PISTOC. What, say you, is there more worthy of it? What
have you been planning in your consultation ?
1st BACCH. What's proper? PISTOC. I' faith, that doesn't
belong to the Courtesan.
1st BACCH. This sister of mine entreats me so to find some
person to protect her against this Captain; that when she
has served her time? he may bring her back home. Do you,
I entreat you, be her protector.
PISTOC. Why should I protect her? 1st BACCH. That
she may be brought home again, when she has fulfilled her
engagement to him, so that he may not take her as a servant³
for himself. But, if she had the gold to pay him back again,
gladly would she do so.
PISTOO. Where now is this person? 1st BACCH. I expect
1 May lose her powers)—Ver. 38. The nightingale was supposed to sing con-
tinually; so that "luscinia deest cantio," "the nightingale has lost her song,'
became a proverb which expressed the happening of anything extraordinary.
""
2 Has served her time)—Ver. 43. "Emeritus" was the term applied to soldiers
who had "served out their time," or got their discharge Plautus probably
uses the term satirically, as applied to the engagement which the Second Bacchis
had made with the Captain.
3 As a servant)—–Ver. 45. She pretends that her sister is afraid, that when her
time has expired, the Captain-having carried her to a foreign country-may make
a slave of her, and that she s, consequently, desirous to be left at Athens, and to
repay him the money which he had given her upon the making of the engagement.
She feigns that it is necessary for him to protect her sister on behalf of his absent
friend Mnesilochus, that she herself may obtain an opportw ity of ensnaring him,
Sc. II.
155
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS.
that he'll be here just now. But this you'll be able to ar
range better among ourselves; and sitting there, you shal
wait until he comes. So you will drink some wine, and so,
I'll give you a kiss when you have drunk it.
PISTOC. Your coaxing is mere birdlime. 1st BACCH. How
80 ?
PISTOC. Because, in fact, I understand how you two are
aiming at one poor pigeon, myself; (aside) very nearly is the
limed reed¹ breaking my feathers. Madam, I judge that such
deeds befit me not.
1st BACCH. Why so, I pray?
PISTOC. Bacchis, it is, because I dread you
your Bacchanalian den².
Bacchantes, and
1st BACCH. What is it that you dread? Surely, not that
the couch in my house may
lead you into mischief?
PISTOC. Your allurements, more than your couch, do I
dread. You're a mischievous serpent. But, madam, a
lurking-place does not befit this youthful age.
1st BACCH. Should you wish at my house to do anything
that's unwise, I myself should hinder it. But, when the
Captain comes, I wish you to be at my house for this reason;
because, when you are present, no one will do her and me
any injury. You will prevent that, and by the same means
you will be aiding your friend; this Captain, too, on arriving,
will suspect that I am your mistress. Why are you silent,
pray ?
PISTOC. Because these things are pleasant in the talking
of; but in the practice, and when you make trial, the same
are armed with stings. They pierce the feelings, goad one's
fortune, and wound one's merits and character.
2nd BACCH. What do you dread from her?
PISTOC. What do I dread, do you ask? Am I a person in
■ The limed reed)—Ver. 51. A reed dipped in birdlime was employed for the
purpose of catching birds. Pistoclerus says to himself that he feels how nearly
he is entrapped.
2 Your Bacchanalian den)-Ver. 53. "Bacchanal" was properly the place
where the Bacchanalia, or orgies, were celebrated. He styles them " Bacchantes,"
and their house a "Bacchanal," in allusion both to their names and their habits.
• Your allurements)-Ver. 55. There is a play here upon the resemblance of
the words "illectus," "allurement," and "lectus," a "bed."
4 Mischievous serpent)-Ver. 55. "Mala tu's bestia." Literally, "you are an
evil beast;" which sounds harsh to an English ear, even when applied to such an
animal as Bacchis.
156
Act I
BACCHIDES;
my youth to enter a place of exercise¹ of such a nature, where
people sweat to their undoing ?-where for the quoit I re-
reive a loss, disgrace, too, for my running?
4
;
2nd BACCH. How charmingly you do talk. PISTOC. Where
I'm to take a turtle-dove instead of a sword, and where
another puts into my hand the goblets instead of the cestus
the drinking-cup is in place of the helmet, the wreathed gar-
land instead of the crest, the dice in place of the lance. For
the coat of mail I should have to assume a soft cloak; where,
too, in place of a horse a couch must be given me,—for shield,
a strumpet? may be lying by me. Avaunt from me—avaunt!
2nd Вaсcп. О, you're too fierce. PISTOO. I am attend-
ing to my own interests.
2nd BACCH. You must be softened down; and, in fact, I
offer you my aid in this.
PISTOC. But you are too expensive an assistant.
1st BACCH. Do pretend that you are in love with me.
PISTOC. Whether should I be pretending that in jest, or
seriously?
1st BACCH. Well said! better to do the last. When the
Captain comes here, I want you to embrace me.
1 A place of exercise)-Ver. 66. He draws a parallel between the life of a per-
son who for health and rational recreation frequents the "palæstra," or schoo,
for exercise, and of those who frequent the haunts of Courtesans. He alludes in
the following lines to the exercises of throwing the quoit, running, boxing
fencing, hurling the lance, and riding.
2 A turtle-dove)-Ver. 68. The turtle-dove, as being sacred to Venus, would
be an appropriate inmate of a Courtesan's house.
3 The goblet)—Ver. 69. "Cantharus" was a kind of drinking-cup, with two
handles. It was considered as peculiarly sacred to Bacchus, the tutelary Divinity
of Bacchis, whom Pistoclerus is addressing.
♦ The drinking-cup)—Ver. 70. “Scaphium" here probably means a “drinking-
vessel with a swelling belly." So:ne Commentators, however, think that it has here
the same meaning as matula."
"L
5 Instead of the crest)-Ver. 70. The "insigne" was the crest, or waving
plume of the helmet.
• A soft cloak)—Ver. 71. It was the custom at entertainments for the re-
vellers to exchange their ordinary clothes for fine vestments, elaborately embroi-
dered.
7 For shield, a strumpet)-Ver. 72. "Scortum pro scuta" There is a play
pere upon the resemblance of the words.
B I want you)—Ver. 76. He is only to pretend to be her admirer when the Cap-
tain comes, by way of accounting for his presence and interference on behalf of
her sister. This is afterwards rendered unnecessary by his own pliancy, and the
Arrival of Mnesilochus himself.
Sc. II.
157
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS.
PISTOC. What need is there of my doing that?
1st BACCH. I want him to see you. I know what I'm
about?
PISTOC. And I, i' faith, I know not what I'm in fear of.
But what say you-
?
1st BACCH. What's the matter now?
PISTOC. Well, suppose perchance on a sudden a breakfast
or a drinking bout, or else a dinner, should take place at your
house, just as is the wont in such places of resort; where,
then, should I take my place?
1st BACCH. Near myself, my life, that with a she wit a he
wit may be reclining at the repast. A place here, at our house,
should you come late, is always at your service. When you
wish right merrily to disport yourself, my rosebud, you say
to me, "Do let me enjoy myself to-day," I'll provide you a
delightful place where it may be so.
PISTOC. Here is a rapid stream; not without hazard can
this way be passed.
1st BACCH. (aside). And, by my troth, something must you
ose amid this stream. (Aloud.) Give me your hand and
follow me.
PISTOC. O, by no means. 1st BACCH. Why so?
PISTOO. Because to a man in his youth nothing can be
more alluring than these-night, women, wine.
1st BACCH. Away, then, with you; for my part, I don't at
all care for it, but for your own sake. The Captain, then, shall
take her off; don't you be present at all if you don't choose.
PISTOC. (to himself). And am I a thing of nothing, who
cannot moderate my own passions?
1st Bacon. What's there for you to fear?
PISTOC. There's nothing; all nonsense. Madam, I resign
myself to you. I'm yours; to you do I devote my services.
1st BACCH. You are a dear man. Now I wish you to dc
this. To-day I want to give a welcome entertainment¹ to my
sister. For that purpose I shall at once order the money to
be brought you from in-doors. Do you take care and cater
for us a splendid entertainment.
¹ A welcome entertainment)—Ver. 94. "Cæna viatica" was an entertainment
offered to a person by his friends immediately on his arrival from a voyage or
journey.
¹ Order the money)—Ver. 95. This she says artfully, well knowing that he will
at once offer to bear the expense of the entertainment
158
Act I.
BACCHIDES;
PISTOC. No, I'll stand treat; for it would be a shame, that
on my account you both should take trouble for me, and by
reason of that trouble should
pay the expense from your own
means.
1st BACCH. But I can't allow you to give anything.
PISTOC. Do let me. 1st BACCH. Well, I'll let you, if you
choose. Prithee, do make haste.
PISTOC. I shall be here again, before I cease to love you.
(Exit PISTOCLerus.
2nd BACCH. You entertain me pleasantly upon my return,
my sister.
1st BACCH. How so, prithee?
2nd BACCH, Because, in my way of thinking, this day a
lucky haul has fallen to your lot.
1st BAсCH, He's mine, assuredly. Now, sister, with
respect to Mnesilochus, I'll give you my aid', that here at
home you may be receiving gold, rather than be going hence
together with the Captain.
2nd BACCH. That's my desire. 1st BAсCH. My aid shall
be given you. The water's warm; let's go in, that you may
bathe. For, as you have travelled on board ship, you are
faint, I think.
2nd BAсCн. A little so, sister. (PISTOCLERUS is seen at
a distance.) Besides, he's beginning to cause I don't know
what bustle. Let's begone hence.
1st BACCн. Follow me this way in-doors to bathe, that
you may relieve your weariness.
SCENE III.
Enter PISTOCLERUS, accompanied by People with Provisions
for the Entertainment, followed by LYDUS.
LYD. For some time, Pistoclerus, I've been following
you in silence, watching what you were doing in this
¹ Give you my aid)—Ver. 103. They will try to get Mnesilochus to advance
the money to redeem her from the Captain.
64
""
2 Following you in silence)-Ver. 109. We must not be surprised to find
Lydus a Lydian slave, as his name imports, acting as the "pædagogus," or
tutor," of Pistoclerus. Among the wealthy, the sons of the family were com-
mitted to the "pædagogi" at their sixth or seventh year, and of course that
officer was selected from the most trustworthy and most learned among the slaves,
The youths remained under the tutor till they reached the years of puberty. Hig
duty was rather to watch and protect them, and accompany them to their school.
Sc. III.
159
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS.
dress¹. For, so may the Gods favour me, even Lycurgus him-
self? seems to me as if he could be led into debauchery here.
Whither now are you betaking yourself hence in an opposite
direction with such a train?
PISTOC. To this place (pointing to the house). LYD. Why
to this place? Who lives there ?
PISTOC. Love, Pleasure, Venus, Beauty, Joy, Jesting,
Dalliance, Converse, and Sweet-kissing.
LYD. What intercourse have you with these most destruc-
tive Deities ?
PISTOC. Bad are those men who speak evil of the good.
You speak not well of even the Gods themselves; you dc
what is not right.
LYD. Is Sweet-kissing, then, some God?
PISTOC. And do you not think she is? O Lydus, why,
what a barbarians you are, you, whom I had deemed to be fur
more wise than Thales himself. Go to, you are more foolish
than Potitius, the foreigner5, who, at an age so advanced,
knew not the names of the Divinities.
LYD. This dress of yours pleases me not.
and the "gymnasium" or "palæstra," the place of exercise, than to instruct them
himself; indeed, the "præceptores," or "teachers," are expressly distinguished
by Quinctilian from t'ne " pædagogi," or "conductors" of the youths. Eunuchs
were sometimes appointed to this office. Among the Romans, a tutor attended on
both boys and girls very frequently, as they were not confined at home according
to the Grecian custom. During the Empire, much care was taken in the training
of the "pædagogi."
¹ In this dress)—Ver. 110. He has put on the "malacum pallium," "the soft
garment," mentioned in 1. 71, as being about to join the entertainment which he is
providing.
2 Lycurgus himself)—Ver. 111. He says that such company is enough to cor-
rupt Lycurgus himself, a man of the most moral and strict habits. He was the
lawgiver of Sparta.
3 What a barbarian)—Ver. 121. He alludes to Lydia, the country of Lydus,
which was "barbara."
♦ Than Thales himself)—Ver. 122. Thales of Miletus was one of the seven
wise men of Greece. He was the founder of the Ionic sect of philosophers.
5 Potitius, the foreigner)—Ver. 123. "Barbaro" signifies "Roman," the scene
being in Attica. We learn from St. Augustine that the Potitii received the
epithet of "stulti," "unwise," from the following circumstance. They were the
hereditary priests of Hercules, at Rome. Wishing to lighten their duties, they
instructed some slaves in their office, for which, by the wrath of the Divinity
twelve families of them were destroyed in one night.
160
Act I
BACCHIDES;
PISTOC. But no one prepared it for you; it was prepared
for myself, whom it pleases well.
LYD. And do you commence upon your repartees against
myself even? You, who, if you had even ten tongues, ought
to be silent.
PISTOC. Not every age, Lydus, is suited for school¹. One
thing especially is just now on my mind, how the cook may
with due care attend to these things as befits the elegance of
the entertainment.
LYD. Now have you undone yourself and me and all my
abours, me who so oft have shown you what is right, all to
no purpose.
PISTOC. In the same place have I lost my labour where
you've lost yours: your instructions profit neither me nor
yourself.
LYD. O obdurate heart! PISTOO. You are troublesome
to me.
Hold your tongue, Lydus, and follow me.
LYD. Now, see that, please; he no longer calls me “tutor,”
but mere "Lydus.”
PISTOC. It seems not proper, nor can it be fit, that, when a
person is in a house, and is reclining at the feast together
with his mistress, and is kissing her, and the other guests are
reclining too, the tutor should be there too in their presence.
LYD. Are these provisions purchased for such a purpose,
pray ?
PISTOC. My intentions, indeed, expect so; how it falls out,
is in the hands of the Gods.
LYD. Will you be having a mistress?
PISTOC. When you see, then you'll know.
LYD. Aye, but you shall not have one, and I won't allow
it. Go back again home.
PISTOC. Do leave me alone, Lydus, and beware of mischiefs.
LYD. What? Beware of mischief? O yawning gulf, where
irt thou now? How gladly would I avail myself of
thee! Already have I lived far longer than I could have
1 Suited for school)-Ver. 129. There is here a "Paronomasia," or jingle upon
the resemblance of the words "Lyde," "Lydus," and "ludo," a school.'
77 66
2 He no longer calls)-Ver. 138. He is shocked at the want of respect shown to
him by his pupil.
3 Beware of mischief)-Ver. 147. This is a threat of vengeance if Lydus nre
sumes to interfere any further
Sc. III.
161
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS.
wished. 'Twere much better now to have once existed than tc
be living still. That any pupil should thus threaten his
tutor!
PISTOO. My years are now advanced beyond your tutor-
ship.
LYD. I want no pupils for me with heated blood¹. An up-
grown one may harass me thus devoid of strength.
PISTOC. As I guess, I shall become a Hercules, and you
a Linus².
LYD. I' faith, I fear more that through your goings-on I
shall become a Phoenix³, and have to tell the news to your
father that you are dead.
PISTOC. Enough of these stories. LYD. This youth is lost
to shame¹; the man's ruined. And does it then recur to you
that you have a father?
PISTOC. Am I your servant, or you mine ?
LYD. By my troth, you made an exchange not desirable.
for that age of yours, when you gained these impudent ways.
Some bad master has been teaching you all this, not I. You
are a scholar far more apt at these pursuits than at those
lessons which I taught you when I was losing my labour.
Troth, 'twas a bad piece of deceit you were guilty of at your
age, when you concealed these vicious tendencies from myself
and from your father.
PISTOC. Lydus, you have thus far had liberty of speech;
that is enough. So now do you follow this way, and hold
your tongue. (They go into the house of BACCHIS.)
1 With heated blood)-Ver. 153. "Plenus sanguinis." Literally, "full of
blood."
2 You a Linus)-Ver. 155. Linus instructed Hercules in music, and was slain
by his scholar with his musical instrument.
3 Become a Phoenix)-Ver. 156. Phoenix was the preceptor who attended
Achilles to the Siege of Troy, and brought the account of his death to his father
Peleus.
• Is lost to shame)-Ver. 158. "Hic vereri perdidit." Literally, "He has lost
how to be ashamed."
• Hold your tongue)—Ver. 169. The interval between this Act and the next is
filled up with the time necessary for preparing the entertainment which Pisto-
clerus is giving to Bacchis and her sister.
162
Act fl
BACCHIDES;
ACT THE SECOND
SCENE I.
Enter CHRYSALUS.
CHRYS. All hail, land of my master! which I joyfully be-
hold after the two years that I have been absent hence at
Ephesus. I salute thee, neighbour Apollo', who dost have
thy shrine close by our house, and to thee do I make my
prayer, that thou wilt not let me meet our old gentleman,
Nicobulus, before I have seen Pistoclerus, the friend of
Mnesilochus, him to whom Mnesilochus has sent the letter
about his mistress, Bacchis.
SCENE II.
Enter PISTOCLERUS from the house of BACCHIS.
PISTOO. (to the FIRST BACCHIS within). 'Tis strange that
you are so earnestly begging me to return, who am able by no
possible means to depart hence, if I were willing, so bound
down², and so enchained with love do you hold me.
CHRYS. O, ye immortal Gods, I espy Pistoclerus! 0,
Pistoclerus, hail!
PISTOC. Hail, Chrysalus, to you! CHRYS. I will at present
compress many speeches for you in a small space. You are
glad that I am come; I give you credit for it. You promise mo
lodging and an entertainment coming from my journey, as it
is befitting, and I agree to come. I bring you the sincere
greetings of your friend. Would you ask me where he is?
He's come.
PISTOC. Is he alive and well? CHRYS. That I was wish-
ful to enquire of yourself.
PISTOC. How can I know?
PISTOC. Why, in what way?
CHRYS. No one better.
CHRYS. Because if she has
been found whom he so loves, he is alive and well. If she is
not found, he is not well, and is like to die. His mistress is
Neighbour Apollo)-Ver. 172. He is supposed to refer to Apollo "Prosti-
trus," whose statue was placed in the vestibule of the houses, and to whom the
Athenians paid veneration as the tutelar God of their habitations.
↑ So bound down)-Ver. 180. "Vadatus" was a term properly applied to
person bound under a penalty as surety for another.
Sc. I.
163
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS.
the very
life of a lover. If she is away, he is non-existent ;
if she is with him, his property is non-existent, and himself
worthless and wretched. But what have you done in respect
of his commission?
PISTOC. And ought I not to have his request complied with
against his arrival, which his messenger brought to me from
him? I'd sooner be dwelling in the realms of Acheron than
not.
CHRYS. How now, have you found out this Bacchis ?
PISTOC. Yes, and a Samian one too. CHRYS. Prithee, do
take care that no one handles her carelessly: you know how
soon a Samian vessell is wont to break.
PISTOC. What now, your old habit? CHRYS. Prithee, do
tell me where she now is.
She's living almost next
Mnesilochus ?
PISTOC. Here, where you just now saw me coming out.
CHRYS. How capital that is!
door. Does she at all remember
PISTOO. Do you ask me that?
esteem at the very highest value.
Aye, him alone does she
CHRYS. Indeed! PISTOO. Yes, and were you to believe
her, distractedly in love-she quite longs for him.
CHRYS. That's good. PISTOC. Yes, Chrysalus; see, now;
not even so small a space of time ever passes by as this?,
out that she is uttering his name.
CHRYS. I' faith, so much the better. (Moving, as if about
to go.)
PISTOO. Yes; but (Holds him.) CHRYS. Yes, faith,
I'd rather be off.
PISTOC. And do you so unwillingly hear how your mas
ter's interests have prospered?
CHRYS. No, not the subject, but the actor offends my
feelings with his tediousness. Even Epidicus," a play
CC
¹ A Samian vessel)—Ver. 202. He plays upon the word "Samian," as the isle
of Samos was celebrated for the quality of its earthenware, which, as he here says,
was very brittle.
2 Passes by as this)-Ver. 209. This is doing what the Greeks call deLKTIKĀS.
Suiting the action to the word, he points at the time of speaking to something
very small, perhaps the breadth of his finger-nail.
3 Yes, faith)-Ver. 211. It has been suggested that Chrysalus is put out
of patience here by the frequent repetition by Pistoclerus of the word "immo,"
"aye," or yes;" on which he rejoins, "immo, &c," "yes, and I'll be off."
• No, not the subject)-Ver. 213. He seems to mean that he is not displeased
with the subject, but at the tedious way in which Pistoclerus relates it to him.
M 2
164
Act II,
BACCHIDES;
that I love quite as much as my own self, were Pollio to act
it¹, no play would I see so reluctantly. But, does Bacchis
seem handsome, as well, to you?
PISTOC. Do you ask the question? Had I not got a
Venus, I should pronounce her a Juno.
CHRYS. I' faith, Mnesilochus, as I find these matters pro-
ceeding, there's something ready for you to love; 'tis needful
that you find something to give her. But, perhaps you
have need of gold for that other one?
PISTOC. Yes, some Philippeans. CHRYS. And you have
need of it directly, perhaps?
PISTOC. Aye, and even sooner than directly. For there's
a Captain coming here just now-
CHRYS. A Captain, indeed! PISTOC. Who is demanding
some gold here for relinquishing Bacchis.
CHRYS. Let him come when he pleases, and so there be
no delay. The money's at home; I fear not for myself, nor do
I go begging to any man; so long, at least, as this heart
of mine shall be armed with its inventiveness. Go in; I'll
manage here. Do you tell them in-doors, that Mnesilochus is
coming to Bacchis.
PISTOC. I'll do as you request. (Goes into the house of
BACCHIS.)
CHRYS. The money business belongs to me. From
Ephesus we have brought twelve hundred golden Philippeans,
which our entertainer owed to our old gentleman. Hence,
some contrivance2 will I this day contrive, to procure gold
for this son of my master thus in love. But there's a
noise at our door-who's coming out of doors, I wonder?
(Stands aside.)
¹ Pollio to act it)-Ver. 216. It is clear from this that the Epidicus of Plautus
was written before the Bacchides. With a rather unusual degree of license he seems.
to refer to an event that has recently happened, and it is not improbable that the
"Epidicus," good play as it was, had suffered from the demerits of some contempti-
ble actor of the day, known as Pollio. Plautus thus excuses his play, and excites a
laugh by the quaintness of the remark. There is a passage in the Nigrinus of
Lucian that throws light on this: "Friend, have you never seen a bad Tragio
or Comic actor? some of those I mean who are hissed because they spoil a good
play with their acting, and are at last driven off the stago; though the play itself
be at other times applauded, and bear away the prize."
"
2 Some contrivance)-Ver. 239. "Machinabor machinam" is an Atticism bor.
rowed by Plautus, probably from the original. With us it would be literally
will machinate a machine "
Sc. III
165
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS.
SCENE III.
Enter NICOBULUS from his house.
Nico. (to himself). To the Piræus will I go; I'll go see
whether any merchant-ship has come into harbour from
Ephesus. For my mind misgives me; my son lingers there
so long, and does not return.
CHRYS. (aside). Now, I'll finely unravel him, if the Gods
are propitious. There must be no sleeping; gold is requi-
site for Chrysalus. I'll accost him, whom for sure this day
I'll make a ram of Phryxus² of; so, even to the quick³, will I
shear him of his gold. (Accosting him.) His servant Chry-
salus salutes Nicobulus.
NICO. O, immortal Gods! where is my son ?
CHRYS. Why don't you return the salutation first, which
I gave you?
NICO. Well, save you. But where on earth is Mnesilochus ?
CHRYS. He is alive and well. Nico. Is he not come ?
CHRYS. He is come. Nico. Hurra! you've brought me
to my senses. And has he all along been well?
CHRYS. Aye, well as a boxer5 and an athlete.
NICO. But what as to this-the business on account or
which I sent him hence to Ephesus? Has he not received
the gold from his entertainer, Archidemides ?
CHRYS. Alas! my heart and my brain are cleft, Nicobulus,
1 Gold is rapuisite)-Ver. 240. "Opus est chryso Chrysalo." He borrows the
Greek word "xpvoòs" "gold,” and plays on his own name, which has that word
for its origin.
2 Ram of Phryxus)-Ver. 241. The Ram with the golden fleece carried Phryxus
in safety over the Hellespont; but his sister Helle fell off its back on the passage,
from which that arm of the sea derived its name. Jason recovered the golden
fleece by the aid of Medea. The story of Helle and Phryxus is related at length
in the Fasti and the Metamorphoses of Ovid.
8 Even to the quick)-Ver. 242. "Ad vivam cutem"-literally, "to the living
skin."
+ You've brought me to)—Ver 247. "Aspersisti aquan"-literally, "you have
sprinkled water on me," in allusion to the refreshing effects of water in cases o.
faintness.
5 Well as a boxer)-Ver. 248. "Pancratice atque athleticc"-literally, "boxing
ake and wrestler-like."
166
Act II
BACCHIDES;
whenever mention is made of that fellow. Why don't you
call that entertainer of his your enemy?
NICO. Troth now, prithee, why so?
CHRYS. Because, i' faith, I know for sure, that Vulcan, the
Moon, the Sun, the Day, those four Divinities, never shone
upon another more wicked.
NICO. What, than Archidemides? Dear me!
CHRYS. Than Archidemides, I say.
done?
Nico. What has he
CHRYS. What has he not done? Why don't you ask me
that? In the first place, then, he began to make denials
to your son, and to assert that he didn't owe three obols¹ to
you. Forthwith, Mnesilochus summoned to himself there
our ancient host, the old gentleman, Pelago; in his presence,
he at once showed the fellow the token2, which you yourself
had given to your son to deliver to him.
NICO. Well-when he showed him the token ?
CHRYS. He began to say that it was counterfeit, and that
it was not a true token; and how many reproaches he did utter
against him so undeserving of them! and he said that in other
matters he had committed forgery.
NICO. Have you not the gold? In the first place, I want
that to be told me.
CHRYS. Yes, after the Prætor had appointed delegates";
being cast, at length compelled by force he paid down twelve
hundred Philippeans.
Nico. He owed that much.
another struggle of his, as well,
enter on.
NICO. What, besides, as well?
CHRYS. Besides, listen to
which he was desirous to
Oho! this will turn out now
¹ Three obols)—Ver. 260. The "obolus" was a very small Greek silver coin.
Its value was something more than three-halfpence of our money.
2 The token)-Ver. 263. "Symbolum" was some object which a person delivered
to another, in order to serve as a mark, sign, or token to a third person, that he
was to do something which had been previously agreed upon.
pro-
³ Appointed delegates)~Ver. 270. "Recuperatores" were certain commissioners
or judges-delegate, who were usually named by the Prætor, at Rome and in the
vinces, to decide matters in dispute, such as disagreements about money and pro-
perty; also to assess the damages where a wrong had been done; to enquire
whether a man was freeborn or not; or, to which of two claimants civic honour,
properly belonged.
Sc. III.
167
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS.
a regular hawk's nesti. I've been deceived: I've entrusted
my gold to an Autolycus2 for my host!
CHRYS. Nay, but do you listen- NICO. Well, I wasn't
aware of the disposition of my avaricious entertainer.
CHRYS. Afterwards, at last we had got the gold, and em-
barked on board ship, desirous for home. By chance, as I
was sitting on the deck, while I was looking about me, at that
moment I beheld a long bark being fitted out by this cheating
knave.
Nico. Troth, I'm undone; that bark breaks my heart³.
CHRYS. This was held in partnership by your host and
some pirates.
Nico. And that I should be such a blockhead as to trust
him, when his very name of Archidemides¹ cried aloud to me
that he would deprive me of it, if I should entrust anything
to him.
I
CHRYS. This bark was lying in wait for our ship.
began to watch them, to see what business they were about.
Meanwhile, from harbour our ship set sail. When we had
fully left the harbour, these fellows began to follow with
their oars; nor birds, nor winds more swiftly. As I dis-
covered what scheme was being carried out, at once we
dropped anchor. As they beheld us stopping, they began to
keep their vessel back in harbour.
NICO. Wicked wretches, by my troth. What did you do
at last ?
CHRYS. We returned again into harbour.
cleverly done by you. What after that ?
NICO. 'Twas
¹ Regular hawk's nest)-Ver. 274. "Accipitrina." This word is given by
Ritschel, in place of the old reading "accipe trina," which made nonsense. The
word does not seem to occur elsewhere.
2 An Autolycus)-Ver. 275. Autolycus was the son of Mercury and the grand-
father of Ulysses. He was noted for his thievish propensities, and was in the habit
of painting the cattle which he had stolen of another colour, in order that they
might not be recognized.
3 Breaks my heart)—Ver. 281. "Lædit latus"-literally, "hurts my sides," or
in other words, "gives me a twitch."
♦ Name of Archidemides)—Ver. 284. He puns upon the name of Archidemides,
which was really derived from the Greek “äpxoµai,” “to govern,” and “ dŋµòs,”
"the people." To adapt his pun, however, to the taste of a Roman audience, he
would make out that it was in part a compound of the Latin word “demo,” “ tc
filch" or "take away."
168
Act II
BACCHIDES ;
CHRYS. At nightfall they returned ashore.
Nico. Troth now, they intended to carry off the gold;
they were attempting that plan, no doubt.
CHRYS. It didn't escape me; I discovered it: I was almost
terrified to death by it. As I saw that a scheme was being
laid against the gold, forthwith on this we came to this de-
termination; the next day we carried away all the gold thence
in their presence, openly and publicly, that they might know
it was done.
NICO. Skilfully managed, i' faith. Tell me, what did they?
CHRYS. Chopfallen at once,- soon as ever they saw us
leaving the harbour with the gold, shaking their heads, they
hauled their bark ashore. We deposited all the gold with
Theotimus, who is a priest there¹ of Ephesian Diana.
NICO. Who is this Theotimus? CHRYS. The son of Me-
galobyzus, who is now living at Ephesus, a man most dear to
the Ephesians.
NICO. By my troth, he'll surely turn out very much more
dear to me³ if he shall chouse me out of all that gold.
CHRYS. But it is stowed away in the very temple itself of
the Goddess Diana; there they keep guard at the public
expense¹.
Nico. You kill me outright; much more safely would it
have been kept in private hands. But haven't you brought
any of the gold home here?
CHRYS. O yes; but how much he
NICO. How's that ?-not know ?
lochus went privately by night to
has brought, I don't know.
CHRYS. Because Mnesi-
Theotimus; and didn't
¹ A priest there)-Ver. 307. St. Paul, when he visited Ephesus, found Diana
still enthroned there in the full blaze of her glory. Her temple was esteemed one
of the wonders of the world.
2 Son of Megalobyzus)-Ver. 308. The priests of Diana at Ephesus are supposed
to have been eunuchs, and the priestesses virgins. Taubmann thinks that
"Megabyzus," which ought to be read here, was a general name of the priests of
Diana; and that the words "Megabyzi filius," "a son of Megabyzus," have the
same import as the word "Megabyzus" itself. It may, however, mean that Theo
timus was a priest, and not of necessity that his father was so.
3 More dear to me)-Ver. 309. The pun here perpetrated answers equally well
in English.
At the public expense)-Ver. 313. The ancients used to place a guard, at the
public expense, at the gates of their temples, as great quantities of property e
value were there deposited as in places of safety.
Sc. III.
169
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS.
wish to entrust it to me, nor to any one in the ship. For
that reason I don't know how much he has brought, but he
hasn't brought very much.
NICO. Do you think it was even a half?
CHRYS. By my troth, I know not; but I don't think it.
NICO. Does he bring a third part?
CHRYS. Troth, I think not; but I do not know the truth.
Indeed, I know nothing at all about the gold, except that I
do know nothing about it. Now, you yourself must take a
voyage there on board ship, to carry home this gold from
Theotimus; and, hearkye- (Takes him by the arm.)
NICO. What do you want?
member to carry your son's ring.
CHRYS. Take care and re-
NICO. What need is there of the ring?
CHRYS. Because that is the token agreed on with Theotimus,
that the person who brings it to him, to him he is to give up
the gold.
NICO. I'll remember it, and you advise me well. But is
this Theotimus rich ?
CHRYS. What, do you ask that? Why, hasn't he the
soles fastened to his shoes with gold?
NICO. Why does he thus despise it?
CHRYS. He has such immense riches; he doesn't know
what to do with his gold.
NICO. I wish he'd give it me.
this gold delivered to Theotimus ?
But in whose presence was
CHRYS. In presence of the people; there's not a person in
Ephesus but what knows it.
Nico. My son at least did wisely there, in entrusting that
gold to a rich man to keep. From him it may be recovered
even at a moment's notice.
CHRYS. Aye, and look here, he'll never keep you waiting
even thus much (shows his finger-nail) from receiving it on
the very day you arrive there.
Nico. I thought that I had escaped a seafaring life, and
that, at length, an old man of my years, I shouldn't be
sailing about. But now I find that I'm not allowed to have
the choice whether I would or no; 'tis my fine host Archi-
demides has done me this. Where, then, is my son, Mnesi-
lochus, at present?
CHRYS. He has gone to the market-place to pay his respecta
to the Deities and his friends.
170
Act 1IL
BACCHIDES;
NICO. Then I'll go hence to meet him as soon as I can.
(Exit NICOBUlus.
CHRYS. He's right well loaded, and carries more than his
proper lurden. Not so very badly has this web been com-
menced by me, that. I may find means for the son of my
master in his amour. I've managed it so, that he may take
as much of the gold as he chooses, and give up to his father
as much as he may like to give up. The old gentleman will
be going hence to Ephesus to fetch his gold; here our life
will be spent in a delicious manner, since the old man will
leave me and Mnesilochus here, and not be taking us along
with him. O! what a kick-up I shall be making here.
But what's to be done, when the old gentleman shall have
discovered this? When he shall have found out that he has
made his journey thither to no purpose, and that we have mis-
spent his gold, what will become of me after that? I' faith,
I think upon his arrival he'll be changing my name, and at
once be making me Crucisalus¹ instead of Chrysalus. Troth,
I'll run away, if there shall be a greater necessity for it. If
I'm caught, I'll plague him for a punishment2; if his rods are
in the fields, still my back's at home. Now I'll be off, and
tell
my master's son this contrivance about the gold, and about
his mistress Bacchis who has been found.
(Exit.
ACT THE THIRD.
SCENE I.
Enter LYDUS from the house of BACCHIS.
LYD. Open and throw back straightway this gate of
hell³, I do entreat. For, really, I do deem it nothing else; in-
¹ Crucisalus)-Ver. 362. Anticipating the punishment of the cross, which was
often inflicted on slaves, he coins an epithet, "crucisalus," "cross-struggler,'
for himself, and then compares it with his own name.
2 For a punishment)—Ver. 364. He means to say, that his master will not be
able to chastise him without punishing himself, in some measure, by the loss of
the rods that will be wasted on his back.
• This gate of hell)-Ver. 368. The words of Lydus strongly resemble those of
Solomon, in the Eighth Chapter of Proverbs, verse 27: "Her house is the way tu
hell, going down to the chambers of death."
Sc. II.
171
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS.
asmuch as no one comes here but he whom all hopes have
deserted, that he may yet be a decent person. Bacchis-no,
not Bacchis is their name, but they are most determined
Bacchanals. Avaunt from me, you sisters, who suck the
blood of men. Richly and elegantly furnished is this house
—for destruction. Soon as I beheld all this, at once I straight-
way betook myself to my heels. And ought I to carry these
things concealed in secrecy? Ought I, Pistoclerus, to con-
ceal from your father your excesses, or your misdeeds, or your
places of resort? by which you are aiming to drive your
father and myself, and your own self and all your friends, to
disgrace, and shame, and ruin altogether, and to destroy us
all. Within yourself you entertain no awe of either me or
your own self on account of the deeds which you are doing
by which you have made your own father and myself as well,
your friends and your connexions, to be abettors in the
disgrace of your excesses. Now, before you add this mischief
to the rest, I am resolved at once to tell your parent. This
instant from myself will I remove this blame, and shall dis-
close the matter to the old gentleman, that he may forthwith
draw forth his son out from this loathsome pollution.
SCENE II.
Enter MNESILOCHUS.
(Exit.
MNES. In many ways have I thought it over with myself,
and thus I think it is; a man your friend, who is a friend
such as the name imports-except the Gods-nothing does.
excel him. By fact have I experienced it so to be. For
when I departed hence to Ephesus ('tis now almost two years
ago it happened), from Ephesus I sent letters hither to my
friend Pistoclerus, requesting that he would find out my
mistress Bacchis for me. I hear that he has found her, as
my servant Chrysalus has brought me word. How aptly, too,
has he framed a device against my father about the gold, that
¹ To be abettors)-Ver. 381. "Gerulifigulos"-literally, "carriers" or "hawk-
ers about of pottery." He probably alludes to the low esteem in which these
higglers were held; and it is not impossible, that by his reference to the earthen-
ware, be alludes to the frail companions of Pistoclorus (whom he has just found
to have come from Samos, where earthenware was made), in carrying out whose
schemes the young man was, in a degree, making both Lydus himself, and his
father, Philoxenus, his abettors.
172
Act III.
BACCHIDES;
I may have abundance in my amour. I see 'tis right¹ that
I should make a due return. 'Tis better for you to be
styled extravagant than ungrateful; but, i' faith, in my way
of thinking at least, there's nothing more extravagant than
the ungrateful man. The former the good will praise, the
latter even the bad will censure. 'Twere better for an ill-doer
to escape
than for a benefactor to be deserted. For this reason,
then, it behoves me to take the greater care; I needs must be
on the watch. Now, Mnesilochus, the sample is on view, now
the contest is being decided, whether you are or are not
such as you ought to be; good or bad, of whichever kind;
just or unjust, penurious or liberal, fretful or complying.
Take you care, if you please, lest you let your servant exce.
you in doing well. Whatever you shall prove, I warn you,
you shall not be concealed. But see, I perceive my friend's
father and his tutor coming this way. I'll listen what matter
'tis they are upon. (He retires aside.)
SCENE III2.
Enter LYDUS and PHILOXENUS.
LYD. I'll now make trial, whether your heart is sharpened
by wisdom in your breast.
Follow me.
PHILO. Whither shall I follow? Whither are you now
leading me?
แ
LYD. To her who has undone, utterly destroyed your
single, only son.
PHILO. How now, Lydus; those are the wiser who mode-
rate their passion. 'Tis less to be³ wondered at if this age
does some of these things than if it does not do so; I, as
well, did the same in my youth.
'I see 'tis right)-Ver. 393. The whole of the passage, from the word
æquom," in this line, to "celabis," in 1. 403, is supposed by Ritschel not to have
been the composition of Plautus, but of some other ancient poet. The passage is
in a most confused state, and the reading suggested by Rost has been here adopted,
the lines being read in the following order: 393, 396, 394, 397, 395, 398.
2 Scene III.) Thornton suggests that Molière had in his eye this Scene when
he wrote "Les Fourberies de Scapin," which Otway translated under the title
of "The Cheats of Scapin."
8 'Tis less to be)-Ver. 409. After reading this, we shall be the less surprised at
the conduct of Philoxenus n the last Scene.
Sc. Ill.
173
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS,
LYD. Ah me! ah me! this over-indulgence has provec
his ruin. For had he been without you, I should have had
him trained up to moral rectitude; now, by reason of you and
your trusting disposition, Pistoclerus has become abandoned.
MNES. (aside). Immortal Gods! he names my friend.
What means this, that Lydus is thus exciting his master, Pis-
toclerus?
PHILO. 'Tis but a little time, Lydus, that a man has a
desire to indulge his inclinations; the time will soon come,
when he will hate himself even. Humour him; so that care
is taken that he offends not beyond the line of honor, e'en
suffer him.
LYD. I'll suffer him not, nor, for my part, while I'm alive,
will I allow him to be corrupted. But you, who are plead-
ing his cause for a son so profligate, was this same your own
training, when you were a young man? I declare that for
your first twenty years you had not even this much liberty, to
move your foot out of the house even a finger's length away
from your tutor. When it did happen so, this evil, too, was
added to the evil; both pupil and preceptor were esteemed
disgraced. Before the rising of the sun had you not come
to the school for exercise¹, no slight punishment would you
have had at the hands of the master of the school. There
did they exercise themselves rather with running, wrestling,
the quoit, the javelin, boxing, the ball, and leaping, rather
than with harlots or with kissing; there did they prolong
their lives, and not in secret-lurking holes. Then, when
from the hippodrome and school of exercise you had returned
home, clad in your belted frock, upon a stool by your master5
would you sit; and there, when you were reading your book,
1 The school for exercise)—Ver. 426. "Palæstram." This was the school for
athletic exercise, probably for both youths and men; though it has been contended
that the "palæstra" was devoted to the youths, and the gymnasium" to
the men.
•
2 Prolong their lives)-Ver. 430. "Extendere ætatem" probably means here,
to nve, but "to prolong life" by healthy exercise.
not only
3 The hippodrome)—Ver. 431. The "hippodromus" answered the same pur-
pose as our riding-schools.
▲ Your belted frock)-Ver. 432. "Cincticulum" was a frock worn by children,
with a girdle or belt round the waist.
5 By your master)-Ver. 432. This "magister" would be what the Greeks
called the didáσkaλos, or "preceptor," whose duty it was to instruct the chil-
dren in grammar, music, and other accomplishments
174
Act III.
BACCHIDES;
if you made a mistake in a single syllable, your skin would
be made as spotted as your nurse's gown¹.
MNES. (aside). I'm sorely vexed, to my sorrow, that on my
account these things should be said about my friend. In his
innocence he incurs this suspicion for my sake.
PHILO. The manners, Lydus, now are altered.
LYD. That, for my part, I know full well. For formerly, a
man used to receive public honors by the votes of the people,
before he ceased to be obedient to one appointed his tutor.
But now-a-days, before he is seven years old, if you touch a
boy with your hand, at once the child breaks his tutor's head
with his tablet. When you go to complain to the father,
thus says the father to the child: "Be you my own dear boy,
since you can defend yourself from an injury." The tutor then
is called for; "Hallo! you old good-for-nothing2, don't you
be touching the child for this reason, that he has behaved
so boldly;" and thus the despised tutor becomes just like a
lanterns with his oiled linen rags. Judgment pronounced,
they go away thence. Can this preceptor then, on these terms,
keep up his authority, if he himself is to be beaten the first ?
MNES. (aside). This is a severe accusation. So far as I
understand his words, 'tis strange if Pistoclerus has never
thumped Lydus with his fists.
LYD. (seeing MNESILOCHUS). But who is it that I see stand-
ing here before the door? O Philoxenus, I would not prefer
for myself to behold even the propitious Gods rather than him.
PHILO. Who's this? LYD. Why, he's Mnesilochus, the
friend of your son. He is not of a like turn of mind with
him who reclines and takes his meals in brothels.
nate Nicobulus! who begot him for himself.
Fortu-
macu-
1 Your nurse's gown)-Ver. 434. It is not known whether the words "
losum pallium" refer here to a kind of spotted gown, perhaps of dark pattern,
peculiar to nurses, or to the dirty, soiled appearance which, not improbably, their
gowns usually presented. Some Commentators take a wider range, and think
that the passage refers to the robe of Cybele, the Mother of the Gods, which was
made of the skin of a panther.
2 You old good-for-nothing)—Ver. 444. That is, in his capacity as a slave, a
purchaseable commodity.
Just like a lantern)-Ver. 446. This passage has been much discussed by
various Commentators. It is, however, most probable that the Romans used
lanterns made of oiled linen cloth; and that he is comparing his head, when it
has been broken by the tablets, and plaistered over with oiled linen, to one of
these lanterns. In his Epistles to Atticus, B. 4, Ep. 3, Cicero makes mention a
"linen lanterns."
Sc. III.
175
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS.
PHILO. (advancing). My greetings to you, Mnesilochus ;
I'm glad that you have arrived safe.
MNES. May the Gods favour you, Philoxenus.
LYD. He, now, was born at a lucky moment for his father;
he goes to sea, attends to the interests of his family, takes
care of the house, is obedient and attentive to the wish and
commands of his father. He, when but a boy, was the com-
panion of Pistoclerus in his boyhood; 'tis not by three days
that he is the older in age, but his disposition is more im-
proved by thirty years than that of the other.
PHILO. Beware of a mischief¹, and forbear to speak of him
unjustly.
LYD. Hold your peace. You're a foolish man, who cannot
bear to have him badly spoken of who does badly. But I
would rather have him draw upon my mishaps than upon
my savings2.
PHILO. Why so? LYD. Because, if he were to draw upon
my mishaps, he would each day be making them less.
MNES. Why, Lydus, are you censuring your pupil, my
friend?
LYD. Your friend is ruined. MNES. May the Gods for-
bid it.
LYD. 'Tis so as I say. And further, I myself saw it when
he was undone; I am not censuring him from hearsay.
MNES. What has been done by him?
LYD. He is disgracefully doting upon a harlot.
MNES. Won't you be silent now? LYD. She, too, like a
tide, most voraciously swallows all up, whenever she has
touched any one.
MNES. Where does this woman live? LYD. Here. (Points
to the house.)
MNES. Whence do they say she comes?
LYD. From Samos. MNES. What's her name ?
LYD. Bacchis. MNES. You are wrong, Lydus; I know
the whole affair, just as it is. You are blaming Pistoclerus
without reason, and in his innocence. For he is carefully
Of a mischief)—Ver. 463. "Malo" seems here to be a preferable reading to
"malum." He alludes to the punishment, to which Lydus, as a slave, is liable.
2 Upon my savings)—Ver. 465. He seems to mean, that he had rather put uf
with insult, or violence even, from his pupil, than be responsible for his misdeeds
in which latter case, probably, some part of his "peculium," or "savings,
would be taken away from him in the shape of fines.
176
Act II.
BACCHIDES;
performing the business enjoined on him by his friend and
companion, his sincere well-wisher. Neither is he himself
in love, nor do you suppose him so.
LYD. Is it necessary for him carefully to perform the busi-
ness enjoined upon him by his friend in this fashion—for him.
self, sitting down, to hold a damsel in his lap who is kissing
him? Can the business thus entrusted be in no way trans-
acted unless ever and anon he is placing his hand upon the
bosom of Bacchis, or never withdraws his lips from hers?
But I'm ashamed to make mention of other things which I
have seen him do; when, in my presence, I saw him take
most unbecoming liberties with the person of Bacchis, and
yet not be at all ashamed. What need of words is there?
My pupil, your friend, his son (pointing to PHILOXENUS), is
ruined. For I say that he is ruined, whose modesty in fact
is lost. What need of words is there? Had I been willing
to wait only a little time, that I might have had a better oppor-
tunity of viewing him, I then should, I think, have seen more
than would have been proper for me to see, and for him to do.
MNES. (aside). Friend, you have undone me. And ought I
not to punish this woman with death? I should prefer that
I should perish after some dreadful fashion. Isn't it the
fact, you know not whom to deem faithful to yourself, or in
whom to put your trust?
Lys. Don't you see how much he grieves that your son,
his friend, has been corrupted? and how he is afflicting
himself with sorrow?
PHILO. Mnesilochus, I beg this of you, that you will in-
fluence his feelings and his disposition. Preserve for yourself a
friend as well as a son for me.
MNES. I fain would do so. LYD. (to PHILOXENUS). Much
better, too, would you leave me here together with him.
PHILO. Mnesilochus has cares, more than enough.
LYD. Rate the man soundly, who disgraces me, yourself
his friend, and others, by his excesses.
PHILO. (to MNESILOCHUS). Upon you do I impose all
this responsibility. Lydus, follow me this way. LYD. I
follow you.
(Exeunt PHILOXENUS and LYDUS.
SCENE IV.
MNESILOCHUS, alone.
MNES. Which of the two now I should think to be my
Se. V.
177
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS.
-as-
greater enemy, my companion or Bacchis, is extremely
doubtful. Has she chosen him in preference? Let her keep
him, that's the best. Surely, by my troth, she has done this
to her own loss. For never let any one entrust to me aught
that is sacred, if I don't by an abundant example², and-
suredly love her. I'll make her not to say that she has got hold
of a person to make a fool of. But I'll go home now and pilfer
something from my father. Even to such straits will I force
her, that beggary shall be the lot of³– my father. But do I
really now possess my wits with a mind unimpaired, who am
in this fashion prating here of these things that are to come
to pass? I' faith, I'm of opinion that I'm in love, inasmuch as
I know for sure I am. But still, than that she, from my
abundance, should, by the scraping of a single feather, grow
the richer, I'd rather outvie a beggar in begging. Never,
by Heaven, while I live, shall she make a laughing-stock of
For I have made up my mind to pay down all the gold
at once to my father. Upon me, therefore, needy and pen-
niless, shall she fawn, at the time, when it shall be for her ad-
vantage not a whit the more than if she were saying her pretty
things to a dead man at his tomb. Beyond a doubt, 'tis my
fixed determination to give the gold up to my father. Like-
wise, I'll entreat that, for my sake, my father won't hurt
Chrysalus, nor censure him at all on my account with respect
to the gold which he has deceived him about. For 'tis right
that I should have a care for him, who, for my sake, has told
this falsehood. (To some ATTENDANTS). Do you follow me.
(Goes into his father's house.)
me.
SCENE V.
Enter PISTOCLERUS from the house of BACCHIS.
PISTOC. (speaking to ВAccшIs as he comes out). Before
other matters, Bacchis, will I give place to what you enjoin
me, that I find out Mnesilochus, and bring him, together
with myself, to you. But at this my mind is surprised, if my
¹ For never let)-Ver. 504. This passage is a circumlocution for "May I be
prepared to commit a sacrilege, if, &c."
2 Example)-Ver. 505. This is an instance of Aposiopesis. He stops short in his
indignation, and owns that, despite of her supposed inconstancy, he loves her still,
3 Shall be the lot of)—Ver. 508. This is another instance of Aposiopesis. He
threatens his vengeance on her, even to making his father a beggar for her
sakc.
N
178
Act I11.
BACCHIDES;
messenger has reached him, what it is that delays him. I'll
go into his house here, and see if perchance he's at home.
SCENE VI.
Enter MNESILOCHUS from his father's house.
MNES. (as he enters). I've given up to my father all thè
gold. Now could I wish that she should meet me, after I am
penniless, this fair one so scornful of me. Yet with what
great difficulty did he grant me a pardon for Chrysalus. But
I prevailed on him at last that he wouldn't be at all angry
with him.
PISTOC. (apart). Isn't this my friend?
MNES. (apart). Isn't this my foe that I see?
PISTOC. For sure 'tis he. MNES. 'Tis he.
PISTOC. (apart). I'll go to meet him, and I'll mend my pace.
(Aloud.) Health to you, Mnesilochus !
MNES. Hail! PISTOC. As you are arrived safe from
abroad, a dinner must be given.
MNES. A dinner pleases me not, which excites my choler.
PISTOC. Has any vexation befallen you on your arrival ?
MNES. Aye, and a very grievous one.
PISTOC. From what quarter MNES. From a person
whom heretofore I had supposed to be my friend.
PISTOC. Many live after that manner and method, who,
when you think them to be friends, are found false with their
deceitfulness, strong in their talking, slothful in their doing,
of faith infirm. Not one is there whom they don't envy on their
enjoying prosperity; through their own indolence do they
themselves take right good care that no envy is directed.
against them.
MNES. By my troth, you surely understand their ways most
thoroughly. But still this one misfortune do they find from
their bad disposition; they are the friends of no one, while
they themselves are all at enmity against themselves; and
these, while they are deceiving themselves, in their foolishness
imagine that others are deceived. Just so is he whom I sup-
posed to be as much a friend to me as I am to my own self. He,
so far as in him lay, has taken all care to do whatever injury
he could towards me, to turn all my own resources against me.
PISTOC. This same must me a bad man.
MNES. I judge that so he is.
Sc. VI.
179
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS.
PISTOC. Troth now, prithee, do tell me who it is.
MNES. He lives on good terms with yourself. But were
he not so, I would entreat you to do him whatever harm you
could do.
PISTOC. Only tell me the person, who he is; if I don't do
him an injury, some way or other, do you say that I'm the
greatest of cowards.
MNES. The person's a bad one, but he's your friend, i' faith.
PISTOC. So much the rather, then, tell me who he is. In
good sooth, I set no value on the esteem of a worthless per-
son.
MNES. I appear, then, not to be able to avoid disclosing to
you his name. Pistoclerus, you have utterly undone me,
your friend.
PISTOC. How's that? MNES. How's that? Did I not
send you a letter from Ephesus about my mistress, that you
should find her out for me?
PISTOC. I own you did; and I have discovered her.
MNES. How now? Was there not a choice for you of other
Courtesans in Athens, for you to form engagements with,
instead of with her whom I had recommended to your care?
Could you yourself begin to love, and to contrive an injury
against myself?
PISTOC. Are you in your senses? MNES. I have found
out the whole affair from your tutor; don't deny it. You've
ruined me.
PISTOO. What, still upbraiding me without reason with
these rebukes of yours?
MNES. Why? You're in love with Bacchis.
PISTOO. But look you, two persons of the name of Bacchis
are living here in this house.
MNES. How, two? PISTOC. Aye, and the two are sisters.
MNES. You are now designedly telling idle stories.
PISTOC. In fine, if you persist in thinking there's but littls
confidence in me, I'll take you upon my shoulders, and carry
you hence into their house.
MNES. Well, I'll go; but stay a moment.
PISTOC. I will not stay, and you shall not be holding me
under a false suspicion.
MNES. I follow you then. (They go into the house of
BACCHIS.)
N 2
180
Act IV
BACCHIDES;
ACT THE FOURTH.
SCENE I.
Enter a PARASITE and a Boy.
PAR. Of a debauched and unscrupulous fellow am I the
Parasite-a Captain, who has brought his mistress with him
from Samos. Now he has ordered me to go to her, and
make enquiry whether she will pay back the gold, or whether
she will depart together with him. You, boy, who have for
some time been with her, whichever of these is the house,
do you knock. Go to the door forthwith. (The Boy
knock.) Are you coming back from there, you hangdog¹?
How the graceless scoundrel does knock! Yo can gobble up
a loaf three feet wide, and yet you don't know how to knock
at a door. (He calls out and knocks violently.) Is there
any one in-doors? Hallo! is there any one here? Does
any one open this door? Who's coming out?
SCENE II.
Enter PISTOCLERUS from the house.
goes to
PISTOC. What's the matter? What's this knocking?
Why, what the confounded torment possesses you, to be
exerting your strength in this fashion on another person's
door? You've almost broken the door down. What do you
want now?
PAR. Young gentleman, my respects. PISTOC. And my
respects. But whom are you looking for?
PAR. For Bacchis. PISTOC. But which of them?
PAR. Of that I know nothing, only it's Bacchis. In a few
words, the Captain, Cleomachus, has sent me to her, either
for her to pay back the two hundred golden Philippeans, or
to go hence this day, together with him, to Elatia.
PISTOC. She doesn't go: she says she shan't go. Begone,
and take back this message--she loves another person, and
not him. Take yourself off from the house.
1 You hangdog)—Ver. 579. "Dicrecte." The meaning of this word has been
explained in the Notes to the Trinummus.
2 To Elatia)-Ver. 591. Elatia was a city of Phocis, a district in the Northern
part of Greece.
Sc. III.
181
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS.
PAR. You're too hasty. PISTOO. And would you know
how hasty I am? By my faith, your phiz isn't far off from
a mishap; so much are these teeth-crackers (looking at his
fists) longing in my fists.
PAR. (aside). So far as I understand his words, 'tis a warn-
ing to me, lest he should knock my nut-crackers out of my
jaws. (To PISTOCLERUS.) At your own peril, I'll tell him
this.
PISTOC. What do you say? PAR. I'll tell him that which
you bade me.
PISTOO. Who are you? Tell me.
PAR. I'm the skin of his body¹. PISTOC. He needs must
be a scampish fellow, who has got so worthless a skin.
PAR. He'll be coming here, swollen up with wrath.
PISTOO. I wish he may burst. PAR. (about to go). Is
there anything you want?
PISTOC. Be off; you must do so this instant.
PAR. Good-bye, teeth-cracker. (Exit.) PISTOC. And you,
skin of his body, good-bye! This matter has come to such a
point, that what advice to give my friend about his mistress,
I know not; who, in his pet, has given up all the gold to his
father, and not a coin is there that may be paid to the
Captain. But I'll step aside, for the door makes a noise.
O, here's Mnesilochus coming out, and pensive, too. (He
stands apart.)
SCENE III.
Enter MNESILOCHUS from the house of BaсCHIS.
MNES. Insolent, of a froward, passionate, ungovernable,
inconsiderate disposition, without reason and moderation,
am I; without fine principles of rectitude and honor, hard
of belief, powerless to control my passions, born of a temper
ill-disposed, unamiable and ungracious is my life. In fine,
I am that which I could wish others to be. There's not a
person more worthless, or more unworthy for the Gods to
bless, or for men to love or to associate with. 'Tis more
just that I should have enemies than friends-'tis more
1 Skin of his body)-Ver. 601. "Integumentum corporis." Literally, "the
skin," or "covering of the body." This was probably a nickname for a body-
guard, or hanger-on.
2 Is my life)—Ver. 614. "Vivo." Literally "I live," "I exist."
182
Act IV
BACCHIDES;
reasonable that the bad should give me their assistance than
the good. There's not a person more deserving of all the re-
proaches that are befitting worthless men, than I, who have
given up to my father the money that was in my power.
Could this be believed by any one whatever? Am I not a
madman, who have miserably undone myself and the device.
of Chrysalus?
PISTOC. (aside). He must now be consoled by me; I'll
accost him. (Aloud.) Hallo, Mnesilochus! what's the matter?
MNES. I'm ruined. PISTOO. May the Gods grant better
things!
MNES. I'm ruined. PISTOC. Won't you hold your tongue,
simpleton ?
MNES. Hold my tongue?
quite right in your senses.
PISTOC. You are not now
MNES. I'm undone. Many sharp and poignant woes are
now arising in my breast. Did I not put faith in that accu-
sation? Without any cause was I angry
with you.
PISTOC. Comc, come, do have a good heart.
MNES. Whence have it? A dead man is of more value
than I am.
PISTOC. The Captain's Parasite came here, just now, to
fetch the gold hence. I drove the fellow away from this door
and from this fair one, and packed him off through my harsh
language.
MNES. But of what service is that to me? Wretch that
I am, what shall I do? I have nothing; and he certainly will
carry her off.
PISTOC. By my faith, if I had the means, I'd engage not.
MNES. I know you'd give it me; I know your ways; and
were you not in love, I should now have the very greatest pos-
sible confidence in your assistance. At present, you yourself
have more than enough of your own business, for me to
suppose that you, who are in want yourself, are able to
give me any assistance.
PISTOC. Do but hold your tongue: some Divinity will
favour us.
MNES. Nonsense. (Moves as if going.) PISTOO. Do stay.
(Takes hold of him.)
MNES. What's the matter? PISTOC. Why, I see Chry
salus here, your main resource.
Sc. IV.
188
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS.
SCENE IV.
Enter CHRYSALUS, at a distance.
CHRYS. (to himself). It's right this man (pointing to him-
self) should be worth his weight in gold: it's fair that a
statue of gold should be erected for him. For, this day, two
exploits have I achieved; with twofold spoils have I been
graced. So cleverly have I gulled my elder master this day,
that he has been made a fool of. The crafty old blade, by my
crafty tricks, have I compelled and constrained to believe me
in everything. Then, for the son of the old gentleman, my
master here in love, together with whom I drink, with whom I
eat and go a-courting, I have procured regal and golden trea
sures, that he may take from thence at home, and not gc
seeking abroad. Those Parmenos?, and those Syruses, please
me not, who filch some two or three minæ from their masters.
There's nothing more worthless than a servant without skill—
worthless, if he has not a breast mightily well-stocked, so that,
whenever there is necessity, he may draw his supply from his
own breast. No one can be a person well to do
* * *
unless he understands both how to do good and how to do evil.
With rogues he must be a rogue; with thieves let him filch
whatever he can. It befits him who is truly wise, to be a person
that can shift his very skin³. Good with the good let him be,
bad with the bad: just as things are, so let him ever frame
his humour. But I should like to know how much gold my
master has taken for himself, and what he has given up to his
father. If he is a prudent person, he has made a Hercules¹ of
his parent: he has given him the tenth part, and has kept back
nine for himself. But, see! the person whom I was looking
for; he meets me most opportunely. (To MNESILOCHUS.
'Be worth his weight) —Ver. 640. "Auro expendi." Literally, "to be weighed
against gold."
2 Those Parmenos)-Ver. 649. Syrus and Parmeno were the names of certain
crafty intriguing slaves introduced in Comedy. The first occurs as the name of
a slave in the Adelphi of Terence; the second in his Eunuchus.
3 Shift his very skin)—Ver. 658. "Vorsipellis." Literally, a turner of his
skin;" similar in meaning to our expression, a "turncoat."
↑ Has made a Hercules)—Ver. 665. A tenth part of the spoil taken in warfare
was devoted to Hercules; and it was believed to ensure prosperity, if persons de
voted a tenth of their possessions to the same Divinity.
134
Act IV.
BACCHIDES;
Has any of your money fallen down, my master, that thus,
in silence, you are looking down upon the ground? Why do
I see you two sad and sorrowful? I like it not; and 'tis not
without some reason. Are you going now to give me any
answer?
MNES. I'm undone, Chrysalus.
too little of the gold.
CHRYS. Perhaps you took
MNES. How, a plague, too little? Why, yes, indeed, a very
great deal less than too little.
CHRYS. Why the mischief then, simpleton, since by my skill
an opportunity was procured for that very purpose, that you
might take as much as you pleased, did you thus take it up
with the tips of two fingers¹? Or, didn't you know how
rarely an opportunity of that kind presents itself to a person?
MNES. You are mistaken. CHRYS. Why, surely, 'tis you
yourself that were mistaken, when you dip't your fingers in
not deep enough.
MNES. I' faith, you'd upbraid me more than now you do, if
you knew the matter better. I'm undone.
CHRYS. My mind is now foreboding further mischief from
those words.
MNES. I'm ruined. CHRYS. How so?
MNES. Because I've given all up to my father, with every
particle of it.
CHRYS. Given it up? MNES. Given it up.
CHRYS. What, all? MNEs. Every jot.
CHRYS. We are done for. How came it into your mind to
do this deed so foul?
MNES. I had a suspicion, Chrysalus, by reason of a charge,
that Bacchis and he (pointing to PISTOCLERUS) had been
playing me false; for that reason, in my anger, I gave up all
the gold to my father.
CHRYS. What did you say to your father when you gave
up the gold?
1 Two fingers)-Ver. 675. He says that when he had the opportunity of
gathering up the money by handfuls, he contented himself with taking it only
with the tips of his fingers, that is, piece by piece; some would take "digiti duo
primores" to mean "the two first fingers of the hand;" that is, the forefinger
and thumb. The meaning, either way, will be just the same.
2 With every particle)-Ver. 680. "Ramentum" properly means the filings of
scrapings" dust and all," "every particle."
Sc. IV.
185
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS.
MNES. That I had at once received this gold from his host,
Archidemides.
CHRYS. Eh! by that speech you have this day consigned
Chrysalus to the torture; for, when he shall set eyes on
me, the old gentleman will carry me off that instant to the
executioner.
MNES. I've besought my father. CHRYS. I suppose, to
do, in fact, the thing that I was speaking of?
MNES. Nay, not to punish you, or to blame you at all on
account of this business. And with some difficulty I've pre-
vailed. Now, Chrysalus, this must be your care.
CHRYS. What do you wish should be my care?
MNES. That once again you should make a second inroad
upon the old gentleman. Contrive, devise, invent whatever
you please; frame your plans¹, so that this day you may
cleverly deceive the old man unawares, and carry off the
gold.
CHRYS. It scarcely seems possible to be done.
MNES. Set about it, and you'll easily effect it.
CHRYS. How the plague "easily," for me, whom he has
this moment caught out in a lie? Should I entreat him not
to believe me at all, he would not venture even to believe
me in that.
MNES. Aye, and if you were to hear what things he said
about you in my presence.
CHRYS. What did he say?
MNES. That if you were to say that this sun was the sun,
he would believe it was the moon, and that that is the night
which is now the day.
CHRYS. By my troth, I'll bamboozle the old chap right well
this very day, so that he shan't have said that for nothing.
PISTOO. Now, what would you have us do?
CHRYS. Why, nothing, except that I beg you'll still love
on. As for the rest, ask of me as much gold as you please;
I'll find it you.
Of what use is it for me to have the name
of Chrysalus¹, unless I give proofs by fact? But now, tell
me, Mnesilochus, how much gold is requisite for you.
1 Frame your plans)-Ver. 693. "Conglutina." Literally, "glue the pieces
together."
2 Name of Chrysalus)—Ver. 704. He alludes to his name as derived from the
Greek xpvoos, "gold.”
BACCHIDES
Act VI
186
MNES. There's occasion for two hundred pieces at once,
to pay the Captain for Bacchis.
CHRYS. I'll find it you.
some for current expenses.
MNES. Then we have need of
CHRYS. Aye, aye, I wish us to do each thing deliberately;
when I've accomplished the one, then I'll set about the
other. First, for the two hundred pieces, I shall direct my
engine of war against the old gentleman. If with that en-
gine I batter down the tower and the outworks, straight
at the gate that instant I'll attack the old town and the new
one; if I take it, then carry to your friends the gold in
baskets, just as your heart wishes.
PISTOC. Our hearts are with you, Chrysalus.
CHRYS. Now, do you go in-doors to Bacchis, Pistoclerus,
and quickly bring out-
PISTOC. What? CHRYS. A pen, some wax¹, tablets, and
some cord.
PISTOO. I'll have them here this instant. (Goes into the
house.)
MNES. What now are you about to do? Do tell me that.
CHRYS. Let a breakfast be prepared; there will be you
two, and your mistress will make a third with you.
MNES. Just as you say.
mistress ?
CHRYS. Pistoclerus has no
MNES. O yes, she's here; he's in love with the one sister, I
with the other, both of the name of Bacchis.
CHRYS. What were you going to say? MNEs. This; how
we are to manage².
CHRYS. Where are your couches³ laid out? MNES. Why
o you ask that ?
CHRYS. So the matter stands; I wish to be informed. You
1 Some wax)— Ver. 715. This wax was to be used-not to be placed on the sur-
of the tablets, but in the manner of our sealing-wax, upon the strings with
hich the tablets were fastened.
2 Are to manage)—Ver. 720. Mnesilochus is probably going to ask how they
are about to arrange, when he is interrupted by Chrysalus, who then asks him.
what he was going to say, on which he answers that he was going to observe how
many there would be at the entertainment.
3 Your couches)-Ver. 720. " Biclinium" is supposed to mean either a snug
room fitted up with only two "lecti," or couches for reclining at meals, or else,
perhaps with more probability, a couch formed for holding two guests, instead of
three, as the common "triclinium" did. It is not unlikely that the use of these
was especially adopted in houses of the character of that kept by Bacchis.
Sc. 1V.
187
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS.
know not what I am about to do, nor what a great exploit I
shall attempt.
MNES. Give me your hand, and follow me close, to the
door. Peep in. (CHRYSALUS looks in at the door of the house
of BACCHIS.)
CHRYS. Hurra! 'Tis a very pretty place, this, and exactly
as I could wish it to be.
Re-enter PISTOCLERUS, with pen and tablets.
PISTOC. The things that you ordered-what's ordered for
a good purpose is forthwith done by the obedient.
CHRYS. What have you brought? PISTOC. Everything
that you bade me bring.
CHRYS. (to MNESILOCHUS). Do you take the pen at once,
and these tablets.
MNES. (taking them). What then? CHRYS. Write there
what I shall bid you; for I wish you to write for this reason,
that your father may know the hand when he reads it. Write
пого.
MNES. What shall I write ? CHRYS. Health to your
father, in your own language. (MNESILOCHUS writes.)
PISTOC. Suppose he were to write "disease and death,” in
preference, that would be much better.
CHRYS. Don't you interrupt us.
ordered is now written on the wax.
CHRYS. Tell me in what terms.
MNES. What you have
MNES. "Mnesilochus sends health to his father."
CHRYS. Write this, too, quickly: "My father, Chrysalus
is always and everywhere talking at me, and in no measured
terms, because I gave you up the gold, and because I did
not cheat you of it.' (MNESILOCHUS writes.)
PISTOO. Stop till he has written it.
hand of a lover to be active.
CHRYS. It befits the
PISTOC. I' faith, that hand is more active by far at lavishing
than at writing.
MNES. Say on; that's written down.
CHRYS. " Now, my dear father, do you henceforth be on
your guard against him, for he is forming knavish plans to
deprive you of the gold, and has declared that he will have it
beyond a doubt." Write legibly.
MNES. You only dictate. (Writes.) CHRYS. "And he
promises that he will give this gold to me, for me to give
188
Act IV,
BACCHIDES;
away to naughty women, and to consume it and live like a
Greek¹ in dens of infamy. But, father, do you take care that
he does not impose on you this day; I entreat you, do beware.”
MNES. Do say on. CHRYS. Just write on, then.
MNES. Only say what I am to write.
CHRYS. (MNESILOCHUS writing). "But, father, what you
promised me I beg that you will remember, that you will not
beat him, but keep him in chains at your house at home."
Do you give me the wax and cord forthwith. Come, fasten it,
and seal it in an instant.
MNES. (sealing the tablets). Prithee, what use is there in
this writing after such a fashion, that he is to give no cre-
dence to you, and to keep you in chains at home?
CHRYS. Because it pleases me so. Can't you possibly take
care of your own self, and have no thought about me? In
confidence in myself I undertook the task, and at my own
peril do I carry on the matter.
MNES. You say what's true. CHRYS. Give me the tablets.
MNES. (giving them). Take them. CHRYS. Give atten-
tion now; Mnesilochus, and you, Pistoclerus, do you take
care that each of you goes at once and reclines on his couch
with his mistress; so 'tis requisite; and on that same spot
where the couches are now laid, do you forthwith commence
to carouse.
PISTOC. Anything else? CHRYs. This, and this especially:
when you shall have once taken your places together, don't
you arise anyhow, until the signal shall be given by me.
PISTOC. O skilful commander! CHRYS. You ought by this
time to have taken your second draught.
MNES. Capital; let's go.
CHRYS. Do you take care of
your duty, and I'll do mine. (MNESILOCHUS and PISTOCLERUS
go into the house.)
SCENE V.
CHRYSALUS, alone.
CHRYS. A tremendously great business am I undertaking,
and I have my fears how in this one day I may accomplish it.
But now I have occasion for the old blade to be fierce and
savage at me. For it suits not this plan of mine that the old
¹ Live like a Greek)—Ver. 743. It has been before remarked, that the Greek
mode of free living had passed into a proverb with the Romans, among whom a
person of a licentious mode of life was said "congræcare," "to live like a Greek."
Plautus forgets that the scene is at Athens.
Sc. VI.
189
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS.
fellow should be calm when he has beheld me in his pre-
sence. I'll turn him about¹ this day, finely, if I live. I'll
have him parched as well as ever pea was parched². I'll walk
before the door, that when he comes out, at once as he comes
up, I may put the letter³ in his hand. (Stands near the door
of BACCHIS.)
SCENE VI.
Enter NICOBULUS, at a distance.
Nico. This is a matter of great vexation to me, that
Chrysalus has thus escaped me this day.
CHRYS. (aside). I'm all right: the old fellow is in a pas-
sion. Now's my time for me to accost my man.
NICO. Who speaks hard by? (Looking round.) Why
surely this is Chrysalus, I think.
CHRYS. (aside). I'll accost him. Nico. My honest ser-
vant, hail to you. What's doing now? How soon do I set sail
for Ephesus, to bring back the gold home from Theotimus ?
What-silent? I swear by all the Gods, if I didn't love my
son so much as to wish everything done for him that he
desires * * * * * * that your sides should be
wealed now right well with rods, and that in irons at the
mill you should be lingering out your life. I've learnt of
Mnesilochus all your wicked pranks.
CHRYS. Has he accused me? 'Tis very good; I am a bad
one, I am a cursed one-a wicked one. Only reflect upon the
matter. I'll utter not one word.
NICO. What? Hangdog, do you even threaten me¹?
CHRYS. You'll find out before long what sort of man he is.
He ordered me just now to carry this letter to you. He re-
quested that that which is there written may be done.
1 Turn him about)-Ver. 766. It is not improbable that this figure is borrowed
from frying fish in the kitchen-"When he is done on one side, I'll turn him on
the other."
2 Pea was parched)-Ver. 767. "Frictum cicer," "parched vetches." Horace
mentions these dainties. They were mostly purchased by the lower orders, and
by slaves.
3 Put the letter)-Ver. 769. His object is to entrap old Nicobulus in such a
way that he must of necessity see his son in the company of the damsels, on which
he will be inclined the more readily to believe the story that he has formed an in-
trigue with the wife of the Captain.
4 Even threaten me)-Ver. 785. Nicobulus takes it for a threat, when he tells
nim "specta rem modo," "only reflect upon the matter.”
190
Act IV.
BACCHIDES ;
NICO. Give it me.
him the tablets.)
NICO. I know it.
CHRYS. Take notice of the seal (Gives
Where is he himself?
CHRYS. I don't know. I ought to know nothing now;
I've forgotten everything. I know that I'm a slave; I
know not even that which I do know. (Aside.) Now from the
springe this thrush is catching at the worm; he'll be finely
noosed this day, so well I've set the snare.
NICO. Stay here but a moment; I'll return to you
directly, Chrysalus. (Goes into his house.)
CHRYS. How he does dissemble with me; how ignorant I
am of the business he's about. He has gone to fetch slaves
from in-doors to bind me. The ship speeds prosperously on;
finely, too, is this craft boarding it¹. But I'll hold my tongue,
for I hear the door opening.
SCENE VII.
Re-enter NICOBULUS, with SLAVES carrying fetters.
Nico. Artamo, do you fasten the hands of that fellow
this very instant. (The SLAVES bind him.)
CHRYS. What have I done? Nico. Pitch your fist intc
him if he mutters a word. (To CHRYSALUS, pointing at the
tablets.) What does this letter say ?
CHRYS. Why do you ask me?
so I've brought it sealed to you.
As I received it from him,
NICO. Come now, you rascal, have you not shamefully
abused my son in your talk, because he gave me up that gold,
and said that you would still take that gold away from me by
some knavish trick?
CHRYS. Have I said so? Nico. You have.
CHRYS. What person is there, who says that I've said so ?
Nico. Hold your tongue. No person says so; this letter
which you have brought me accuses you. See, 'tis this that
requests you to be chained. (Points to the open tablets.)
CHRYS. Ah! your son has been making a Bellerophon² of
1 Craft boarding it)-Ver. 797. "Pulcre hæc confertur ratis."
figure taken from naval affairs. Ships were said "conferri" when they closed
together on commencing the engagement.
This is a
2 A Bellerophon)-Ver. 810. He alludes to the hero Bellerophon, who, being
accused by Sthenoboa of having made an attempt on her chastity, was sent by
Prœtus, King of Argos, with a letter to Iobates, in which he was desired to put
the bearer to death.
Sc. VII.
191
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS.
me; I myself brought this letter, for the purpose that I
might be bound. Be it so.
NI00. This I am doing for this reason, because you per-
suade my son to live like a Greek with you, you thrice-dotted
villain.
CHRYS. (aside). O fool, fool, you know not that you are
at this moment on sale; and that you are standing on the
very stone¹ as the auctioneer puts you up.
NICO. (overhearing him). Answer me; who is selling me ?
CHRYS. He whom the Gods favour2 dies in youth, while
he is in his health, has his senses and judgment sound. This
person (pointing to NICOBULUS), if any God had favoured
him, ought to have been dead more than ten years—aye,
more than twenty years ago. 'Tis for long, he has walked, a
nuisance, on the earth; so devoid is he of either judgment or
sense. He is of as much value as a rotten mushroom is.
NICO. Do you think that I am a nuisance to the earth?
Away with him in-doors, and tie him tightly to the post.
You shall never take away any gold from here.
CHRYS. No, but you'll soon be giving it me.
NICO. I, give it you? CHRYS. You'll be entreating me,
too, of your own accord to receive it, when you shall come to
know this accuser of mine, in how great danger and in what
a dreadful situation he is. Then will you be offering his liberty
to Chrysalus; but I certainly shan't accept it.
Nico. Tell me, source of mischief, tell me, in what danger
is my son Mnesilochus.
you
know.
CHRYS. Follow me this way; I'll soon let
NICO. Where on earth shall I follow you?
CHRYS. Only three steps. Nico. Aye, ten even.
CHRYS. Come, then, Artamo, do you open you this door
but a very little way; softly, don't make it creak. (The door
of the house of BACCHIS is opened.) That's enough. Now,
step you hither. (To NICOBULUS, who looks in.) Do you see
the entertainment ?
1 On the very stone)-Ver. 815. He alludes to the stone upon which the
* præco," or "auctioneer," stood witn the slaves, when he sold them by auction.
Only the cheapest and the least desirable of them were sold in this way.
Whom the Gods favour)—Ver. 817. Menander has a sentence to the effect-
"He whom the Gods love, dies young." Chrysalus tells Nicobulus that he is
clearly no favorite of the Gods, or he would have died long since.
192
Act IV.
BACCHIDES;
NICO. (still looking in). I see Pistoclerus and Bacchis
right opposite.
CHRYS. Who are upon that other couch?
NICO. (looking on the other side). Wretch that I am, I'm
undone. CHRYS. Do you recognize that person?
Nico. I do recognize him. CHRYS. Now tell me, if you
please, does that woman seem of handsome appearance?
Nico. Very much so. CHRYS. Well, do you take her to
be a courtesan ?
Nico. Why not? CHRYS. You are mistaken,
NICO. Who is she then, prithee? CHRYS. You'll find out;
from me, indeed, you'll get no more information to-day.
SCENE VIII.
Enter CLEOMACHUS, at a distance.
CLEOM. (aloud). Is this Mnesilochus, the son of Nicobu-
lus, by force to detain my own mistress? What
What proceeding
is this?
NICO. Who's this? CHRYS. (aside). This Captain's oppor-
tunely come for me.
CLEOм. He doesn't consider that I am a soldier, but a
woman, who cannot defend myself and mine.
But may
neither Bellona nor Mars ever put confidence in me, if I don't
put him out of life, if I meet him, or if I don't make him
lose possession of his existence.
Nico. Chrysalus, who's this that's threatening my son?
CHRYS. This is the husband of that woman with whom he
is now reclining.
NICO. What! The husband?
CHRYS. The husband, I say. N100. Prithee, is she mar-
ried then ?
CHRYS. You'll know before very long.
NICO. Wretch that I am; I'm utterly undone.
CHRYS. How now? Does Chrysalus seem such a villain to
you? Come, chain me now¹, and do listen to your son. Didn't
I tell you
would discover what sort of person he is?
that you
NICO. What shall I do now? CHRYS. Order me at once
to be released, if you please; for, if I'm not released, he'll
just now be overpowering the young man in our presence.
¹ Chain me now)—Ver. 855. He says this satirically, pointing to his fetters
Sc. VIII.
193
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS.
CLEOM. There's no gain that I should this day take so
much delight in making, as I should in falling upon him as
he reclines with her, so that I might kill them both.
CHRYS. (to NICOBULUS). Don't you hear what he says
Why don't you order me to be released ?
NICO. (to the SLAVES). Unbind him. I'm ruined; wretch
that I am! I'm in a dreadful fright.
CLEOM. Then I'd make her, who publicly puts up her
person for sale, not to say that she has got a person for her
to laugh at.
CHRYS. (to NICOBULUS). You may make terms with him
for a little money.
NICO. Make terms, then, I beg, for what you like; so
that he mayn't, in our presence, fall upon the young man, or
kill him outright.
CLEOM. Unless the two hundred Philippeans are repaid
to me at once, I'll this instant swallow the lives of them
both outright.
NICO. (to CHRYSALUS). Make terms with him, if you can ;
prithee, do make haste; agree for any sum you like.
CHRYS. I'll go, and do it carefully. (Goes up to CLEO-
MACHUS.) Why are you exclaiming so?
CLEOM. Where's your master?
CHRYS. Nowhere; I
don't know. Do you wish the two hundred pieces to be
promised you at once, so as to make no riot or disturbance
here?
CLEOM. There's nothing that I would desire more.
CHRYS. And that I may heap many a curse upon you?
CLEOM. Just as you please. CHRYS. (aside). How the
villain does cringe. (To CLEOMACHUS.) This is the father of
Mnesilochus: follow me; he shall promise it you. Do you
ask for the gold. As to the rest, a word's enough¹. (They
go up to NICOBULUS.)
NICO. What has been done? CHRYS. I've struck the
bargain for two hundred Philippeans.
NICO. Well done! Goddess Salvation, thou hast saved
me. Well, how soon am I to say I'll pay it?
¹ A word's enough)-Ve.. 878. He says this, as he is afraid that if the con-
versation proceeds to any length, the old man will discover that she is not the
Captain's wife.
2 Salvation)-Ver. 879. It was a proverbial expression with the Romans to day
that the Goddess "Salus," "health," or แ salvation," "had saved," or "could
not save" a person, as the case might be.
0
194
Act IV.
BACCHIDES ;
CHRYS. (to CLEOMACHUS). Do you ask it of him; and (to
NICOBULUS) do you promise it him.
Nico. I promise it. (To CLEOMACHUS.) Come, ask me.
CLEOM. Will you give me two hundred golden Philip-
pean pieces, lawful money?
CHRYS. "They shall be given," say: do answer him.
NICO. I'll give them. CHRYS. Well, now, filthy fellow
is there anything owing to you? Why are you plaguing
him? Why are you frightening him about death? Both I
and he wish you every ill luck. If you have a sword, still
we have a spit at home; with which, in fact, if you provoke
me, I'll make you more full of holes than a rat's skin' when
caught in a trap. I' faith, for my part, some time since I
found out what suspicion it was that tormented you; namely,
that he was with that wife of yours.
CLEOM. Yes; and so he is. CHRYS. So may Jupiter,
Juno, Ceres, Minerva, Hope, Latona, Ops, Virtue, Venus,
Castor, Pollux, Mars, Mercury, Hercules, Summanus, the
Sun, Saturn, and all the Deities, prosper me, he neither re-
clines with her, nor walks, nor kisses, nor does that which is
wont to be reported.
Nico. (aside). How he does swear!
however, by his perjury.
He's saving me,
CLEOM. Where then, at this moment, is Mnesilochus ?
CHRYS. His father has sent him into the country. And
she has gone hence to the citadel, to see the temple of
Minerva. The door's open now; go in, and see if he's there.
CLEOM. I'll be off to the Forum next.
CHRYS. Or rather, by my troth, to very perdition.
CLEOM. Am I to demand this gold to-day?
CHRYS. Demand it, and go hang yourself; don't you sup-
pose, you worthless fellow, that we shall be entreating of you.
(Exit CLEOMACHIUS.) He's taken himself off. Permit me,
¹ A rat's skin)—Ver. 889. "Soricinâ næniâ," "than a rat's ditty," literally.
This was, no doubt, a proverbial saying, and speaking elliptically, was, perhaps,
intended to apply to the squeaking of a rat when his body was pierced with holes
while he.d fast in the trap. There is, however, great obscurity in the passage, and
Commentators are very much divided as to its meaning.
was.
2 Summanus)—Ver. 895. It is not accurately known who the Deity Summanus
Ovid, in his Fasti, B. 6, 1. 731, speaks in uncertainty of him. He is, how-
ever, generally thought to have been the same with Pluto, who was so called as
being "Summus Manium," "the Chief of the Spirits." Varro says that his wor
zhip was introduced by Tatius the Sabine.
Sc. IX.
195
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS.
master, I entreat you by the immortal Gods, to go in-doors
here to your son. (Pointing to the house of BACCHIS.)
Nico. But why go in there? CHRYS. That with many
words I may rebuke him, since after this fashion he has
been going on this way.
NICO. Well, I beg you will do so, Chrysalus; and I entreat
you not to spare him in your talking to him.
CHRYS. And do you instruct even myself? Isn't it suffi-
cient, if this day he shall hear from me more harsh things
than ever Clinias heard¹ from Demetrius? (Goes into the
house of BACCHIS.)
Nico. This servant of mine is very like a running eye; if
you have it not, you don't wish for it or desire it; if you have
it, you can't keep off from rubbing it. But if he hadn't, by
lucky chance, been here to-day, the Captain would have.
surprised Mnesilochus with his wife, and have killed him
as an adulterer detected in the fact. Now, in a manner have
I ransomed my son with the two hundred Philippeans which
I have promised to give to the Captain; which, however, I
shall not rashly pay him down, before I have met with my son.
By my troth, I'll never rashly give credence in anything to
Chrysalus. But I have a mind even once again to read over
this letter; 'tis right that when a letter is sealed we should
give credence to it. (Goes into his house.)
SCENE IX.
Enter CHRYSALUS from the house of ВACCHIS.
CHRYS. The two brothers, the sons of Atreus, are said to
have done a most famous deed, when, with arms, and horses,
and an army, and with chosen warriors, and with ships a
thousand in number, after the tenth year, they subdued
Pergamus, the native land of Priam, founded by hands
divine. Not more decidedly did it fall by the engine of war,
than I shall storm my master here, without a fleet, and with-
out an army and so great array of soldiers. I have won, I
have taken by storm this gold from his father for my master's
son, in his amour. Now, before the old man comes here,
I wish to lament until he does come out. O Troy! O my
¹ Clinias heard)—Ver. 912. He is alluding to a scene in some play, then well
known, which is now lost. In it, Demetrius was probably severe upon Cailas
The Delphin editor thinks that this must have been a proverb.
0 2
196
Act IV
BACCHIDES;
country! O Pergamus! O Priam! old man, you are un
done, you, who'll be wretchedly and shockingly choused out of
four hundred golden Philippeans. For those tablets, sealed
on the one side and on the other, they are not tablets, but
the horse which the Greeks sent, of wood. Pistoclerus is
the Epeus¹; from him were these received. Mnesilochus is
the Simon left behind. Behold him! not in Achilles' tomb,
but on a couch he reclines: he has Bacchis with him; just
as the other formerly had the fire with which to give the
signal; so now does she inflame himself. I am Ulysses, by
whose advice they do these things. Then, the characters
which there are written, are the soldiers in this horse, armed
and of high courage. So even thus far has the matter pros-
pered with me. This horse, too, will be making his attack,
not on a citadel, but on a coffer2. A ruin, a destruction, a
cleaner-out of the old man's gold, will this horse prove this
day. To this silly old man of ours, in fact, I give the name of
Ilium; the Captain is Menelaus; I, Agamemnon; I, too, am
Ulysses, the son of Laërtes; Mnesilochus is Alexander³, who
will be the destruction of his father's fortunes; he has borne
off the Helen, on whose account I am now carrying on the
siege of Ilium. For there I have heard say that Ulysses
was both bold and full of mischief, just as I am. I have
been detected in my tricks-he, discovered in a beggar's
guise, had almost perished, while he was spying out there
the doings of the Trojans. Similarly has it happened to my-
self to-day. I have been bound, but by my devices I have
redeemed myself; he, too, preserved himself by artifice. I
have heard that there were three destinies attending Troy,
which were fatal to it; if the statue should be lost from the
1 Is the Epeus)-Ver. 937. Epeus was the builder of the wooden horse. When
the treacherous Sinon was left behind, he lurked in the tomb of Achilles, or, ac-
cording to some, in that of Palamedes.
? Not on a citadel, but on a coffer)—Ver. 943. He puns on the resemblance of
the words "arcem," a "citadel," and "arcam,” a chest" or "coffer."
แ
³ Alexander)—Ver. 947. Alexander was one of the names of Paris, the son of
Priam.
There were three destinies)-Ver. 953. He has omitted three of the circum-
stances by which the downfall of Troy was to be precipitated—namely: if the
norses of Rhesus should be captured before they had tasted of the pastures of Troy
and the waters of Xanthus; if the bow and arrow of Hercules should be employed
in the siege; and if one of the posterity of Achilles should be present, in all whick
circumstances the Greeks were eventually favoured
Sc. IX,
197
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS.
citadel; whereas the second was the death of Troilus; the
third was when the upper lintel of the Phrygian gate¹ should
be demolished. Just so are there three fatalities for this
Troy of ours, corresponding with those three; for, first of
all, when, a short time since, as I told our old gentleman
the lying story about his host, and the gold, and the bark,
then, that instant, did I steal the statue from the citadel.
And even then two fatalities were remaining, and no further
had I taken this city. Afterwards, when I carried the letter
to the old man, then I killed my Troilus. When he sup-
posed, just now, that Mnesilochus was with the Captain's
wife, from that, with difficulty, did I disengage myself." And
that danger do I compare to what they say, how that Ulysses,
recognized by Helen³, was betrayed to Hecuba. But as, in
olden time, by his coaxing arts, he liberated himself from
her, and persuaded her to let him go, so I, by my devices,
have rescued myself from the danger, and have deceived the
old man. Afterwards, I engaged with the blustering Cap-
tain, who, unarmed, takes cities with his words, and there I
repulsed my man. Then I engaged in fight with the old gen-
tleman; straightway by one lying device did I vanquish him;
by one blow, in a moment, did I take the spoils away from
him. He now will give the two hundred Philippean pieces.
to the Captain, which he has promised that he will give.
* * Now, I have occasion for another two
hundred, to be distributed when Ilium is taken, that there may
be the usual draught of honeyed wine with which the soldiers
may celebrate their triumph. But this Priam is far superior
to him of old. Not fifty sons only has he, but four hundred,
and all choice ones, without a blemish; all these this day
will I cut off at two single blows. Now, if there were any
purchaser for this Priam of ours, I would sell the old fellow
*
*
¹ The Phrygian gate)-Ver. 955. This was the Scean gate, near the tomb of
King Laomedon
2 Steal the statue)-Ver. 958. The Palladium was stealthily carried off from Troy
by Ulysses and Diomedes.
³ Recognized by Helen)—Ver. 963. He alludes here, and in l. 951, to the occa-
sion when Ulysses entered Troy as a spy, in the disguise of a beggar, on which
occasion he was recognized by Helen.
• Draught of honeyed wine)—Ver. 972. "Mulsum." This was a mixture of wine
and honey, flavoured with myrrh, cassia, nard, costum, or pepper. On the occasion
of a triumph, the soldiers were treated to copious draaghts of this mixture.
198
Act IV
BACCHIDES;
in the lump¹, whom I have on sale the moment that I shall
have taken the city. But, lo! I see our Priam standing
before the door; I'll go and speak to him.
SCENE X.
Enter NICOBULUS from his house.
NICO. Pray, whose voice is it that sounds near me?
CHRYS. O Nicobulus! NICO. What's the matter?
CHRYS. O, capital! Nico. Well, have you done aught of
what I sent you upon?
CHRYS. What ask you that? Step closer this way.
NICO. (coming nearer). Well, I do come closer. CHRYS. I
am an excellent pleader. By rebuking him, and by whatever.
hard language I really was able to think of, I forced the
fellow to tears.
NICO. What did he say? CHRYS. He uttered not a word:
erying, he listened in silence to what I was saying; in silence
he wrote down on his tablets; these sealed he gave to me;
he bade me deliver them to you. (Gives him the tablets.)
But I am afraid that they sing to the same tune that the
former ones did. Observe the seal, is it his ?
NICO. I recognize it. I'd like to read them over.
to a distance.)
(Goes
CHRYS. Read them through. (Aside.) Now is the upper
lintel2 being cut down, now is the destruction of Troy near
at hand. The wooden horse is shaking it right cleverly.
NICO. Chrysalus, just step here while I am reading these
through.
CHRYS. Prithee, what need is there for me to be near you?
NICO. That you may know what's written here.
CHRYS. I don't care, and I don't wish to know.
Nico. Still, do come here. CHRYS. What need is there?
Nico. Hold your tongue. CHRYS. I won't, I say.
Nico. But I will, I say. CHRYS. What need is there?
1 In the lump)—Ver. 976. "Coemptionalem senem. "Those slaves were called
"coemptionales " who, by reason of age or bad character, were so utterly worth-
ess that they would fetch no price, and were consequently thrown into a lot with
other slaves or property of real value.
2 The upper lintel)-Ver. 988. He alludes to the Phrygian gate, which he
has before mentioned in 1, 955.
Sc. X.
199
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS,
NICO. Still do you only do that which I bid you.
CHRYS. I'll come. 'Tis right to do so; your own ser-
vant ought to be obedient at your command. (Goes up to him.)
Nico. (looking at the tablets). Heyday! he hasn't been
sparing of his wax or pen. But whatever it is, I'm re-
solved to read it through. Attend to me, please, this very
instant.
1
CHRYS. When you choose, read on; I devote to you the
attention of my ears.
NICO. (looking close). Bless me! the letters are small.
CHRYS. To one, indeed, who cannot see well with his eyes
but they are quite large enough for one who can see well.
Nico. Give your attention then. (He reads.) "Father,
I beseech you, do give two hundred Philippeans to Chrysalus,
you wish me to be safe or alive for you-
if
""
CHRYS. By my troth, really a very great mistake, I tell
you.
NICO. What's the matter?
written the salutation to you.
CHRYS. He hasn't first
Nico. (looking). I don't see it anywhere.
CHRYS. Even from its very commencement the letter is an
impertinent one. If you are wise, you'll not give it; but at
the best, if you give it him, why, let him find out some other
porter for himself, if he is wise; for I won't carry it if you
order me ever so much. I've been quite enough suspected
as it is, when I was guiltless of a fault.
Nico. Listen on now, while I read through what's written.
(Reading.) "I am ashamed, father, to appear before you in
your presence; such disgraceful conduct of mine have I
heard that you are aware of, that I have formed an inter-
course with the wife of a strange Captain." By my troth,
you are not joking there; for I have saved your life from
the consequences of this foul deed with two hundred golden
Philippeans.
CHRYS. There's not a particle of these things but what
I've told him.
Nico. (reading). "I confess that I have acted foolishly.
But I beseech you, father, do not forsake me, if, in my folly, I
have transgressed. Of fierce desires, and eyes uncontrolled,
Ilasn't been sparing)-Ver. 993. By this expression he means that his son
has written a very long letter, as he has been neither sparing of the wax for the
tablets, nor of the use of the "stylus" or pen.
200
Act IV
BACCHIDES
have I been; I have been urged on to do a deed of which I
am now ashamed." It were proper, then, that you should
have taken heed before you were ashamed.
CHRYS. All these very same words did I say to him only
just now.
Nico. (reading). "I beseech you, father, to consider that
it is enough that Chrysalus has reproached me with many
cutting words, and by his advice has made me a better man,
so that 'tis right that you should return him sincere thanks."
CHRYS. Is that written there? Nico. Look and see,
then you'll know. (Shows him the letter.)
CHRYS. He that has so offended, how humble to all he is,
and of his own accord.
NICO. (reading). "Now, father, if even yet I may be
allowed to ask anything of you, do give me two hundred Phi-
lippean pieces, I do entreat you."
CHRYS. By my troth, now, not one even, if you are
wise.
Nico. Let me read on. (Reading.)
(Reading.) "In set form¹ I have
taken an oath that I would give this to the woman this day
before nightfall, ere she leaves me. Now, father, have a care
that I be not forsworn, and take me hence away from her as
soon as you can, on whose account I have incurred so much
loss and guilt. Take care and let not the two hundred pieces
be a cause of annoyance to you; I will repay you innu-
merable times as much, if I live. Farewell, and do attend
to these matters." Now, Chrysalus, what do you think?
CHRYS. I won't give you one bit of advice this day, and I
won't run the risk, that if any mistake is made, you should
say that you had done it by my counsel. But, as I conceive,
if I were in your place, I would rather give the gold than
suffer him to be corrupted. There is a twofold choice; con-
sider which you would adopt; either to lose the gold, or
for a lover to be forsworn. I neither order you, nor forbid
you, nor do I persuade you.
Nico. I'm sorry for him.
surprising he is your son.
better for it to go, than for
proclaimed.
CHRYS. You don't do anything
If still more must be lost, 'tis
this disgrace to be everywhere
Nico. By my troth, I certainly had much rather he had
In set form)-Ver. 1028. Of course the oath would be the more solemn in
such case.
Sc. X.
201
01., THE TWIN-SISTERS.
been at Ephesus, so long as he was well, than that he had
returned home. But why don't I hasten to get rid of that
which is doomed to be squandered away? I'll bring you just
now from in-doors twice two hundred Philippeans, both those
which, a little time since, to my sorrow, I promised to the
Captain, and these others. Wait there; I'll be out to you,
Chrysalus, this instant. (Goes into his house.)
CHRYS Troy is laid waste, the chiefs have razed Pergamus.
I knew some time ago that I should be the ruin of Pergamus.
I' faith I wouldn't dare make a bet with him who should say
that I was deserving of severe torture; so great confusion
am I making. But the door makes a noise; the plunder's
being brought forth from Troy. For the present I'll hold my
tongue.
Re-enter NICOBULUS with the money in two bags.
NICO. Take you this gold, Chrysalus; go, carry it to my
But I'll go hence to the market-place to pay this to
the Captain.
son.
CHRYS. For my part, I'll not receive it; do you seek
somebody at once to take it. I won't have it entrusted
to me.
Nico. But do take it; you're worrying me now. (Holds it
to him.)
CHRYS. For my part, I'll not take it.
NICO. But, prithee do. CHRYS. I am telling you what
is the fact.
NICO. You are delaying me.
CHRYS. I don't want, I
say, the gold to be entrusted to me. At all events, find some
person to keep a watch upon me.
NICO. You're plaguing me.
CHRYS. Well, give it me, if it
(Holds out his hand.)
must be so.
Nico. (gives him the money). Take care of it. I'll be back
here just now.
(Exit.
CHRYS. I've taken care that you shall be a most
wretched old fellow; this is bringing an undertaking to a fair
ending; even as it has proved my lot to go rejoicing, laden
with the spoil. With safety to myself, and the city taken
by stratagem, I now bring home my whole army unhurt. But,
Spectators, don't you now be surprised that I don't go in tri-
umph; 'tis such a common thing, I don't care for it. Still
202
Act V
BACCHIDES;
however, the soldiers shall be received with the usual honeyed
wine. Now I'll carry off all this booty at once to the
Quæstor¹. (Goes into the house of BACCHIS.)
SCENE XI.
Enter PHILOXENUS.
PHIL. The more I revolve it in my breast, what disturb
ances my son has raised, into what a course of life, and into
what habits he unwittingly has headlong plunged himself, the
greater is my concern, and the more do I dread lest he may be
ruined or corrupted. I know it; I once was of the same age,
and I did all these things; but in a quiet way. I was gay, I
had my mistress, I drank, I feasted, I made presents, but still
it was seldom I did so. The methods, too, please me not which
I see parents in general employ towards their sons. I have de-
termined to give some latitude to my son, that he may have
some scope for his inclinations. I think that's right; but
still, I don't wish him to give way too much to sloth and
wantonness. Now I'm going to Mnesilochus, to see whether,
as I requested, by his endeavours he has turned him for
me to virtue and to sobriety; as, indeed, I am sure he has
done if he has met him, of such a disposition is he by nature.
(Exit.
ACT THE FIFTH.
SCENE I.
Enter NICOBULUS, wringing his hands.
NICO. Whoever there are in any place whatsoever, who-
ever have been, and whoever shall be, in time to come, fools,
blockheads, idiots, dolts, sots, oafs, lubbers?, I singly by far
exceed them all in folly and absurd ways. I'm undone.
I'm ashamed of myself; that I at this time of life should
1 To the Quæstor)—Ver. 1075. It was the custom of the Romans to deliver to
the City Quæstor the plunder taken in war, to be employed in the public service.
Here he means his young master, Mnesilochus
,,
2 Oafs, lubbers)-Ver. 1088. "Blennus means, properly, "dirty-nosed," and
thence "a driveller," an idiot."
"Bucco" was "one who had large puffed-out
cheeks," which was considered to be the mark of a blockhead or fool
Sc. I.
203
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS
disgracefully have been twice made a fool of! The more I
think of this confusion whien my son has made, the more am
I incensed. I'm ruined, and I'm utterly destroyed; I'm dis-
tracted in every possible way. All plagues harass me, by all
modes of death do I perish. This day has Chrysalus rent me in
pieces; Chrysalus has plundered wretched me; he, the villain,
by his clever tricks, has shaved, to the very quick, simple me,
just as he has pleased. For the Captain says that she is a
Courtezan, whom that fellow said was his wife; and he has in-
formed me of everything, as each particular happened; how
that she had been hired by him for this year; how that that
much gold was left to be repaid¹, which I, most simple man, had
promised him. 'Tis this, this, I say, through which my breast
boils with indignation2; 'tis this, in fine, by which I am dis-
tracted; that Ï, at my time of life, should be made a fool of,
aye, by Heaven, so made a very sport of, and with my hoary
head and white beard, that wretched I should be bamboozled
out of my gold. Undone am I, inasmuch as this slave of
mine has dared in this way to set not the value of a nutshel
upon me. And I--if any other way I had lost a greater sum
-I should have taken it less amiss, and have deemed it less
of a loss to me.
Enter PHILOXENUS.
PHILO. (as he enters). For sure, some person, I know not
who, seems to be talking near to me. But who's this I see?
Really, 'tis the father of Mnesilochus.
NICO. Hah! I see a partner in affliction. Save you, Phi-
loxenus!
PHILO. And you; whence are you betaking yourself?
NICO. From a place whence comes a wretched and a luck-
less mortal.
PHILO. Why, troth, I'm surely on the earth, the spot where
it befits a wretched and a luckless mortal to be.
¹ Left to be repaid)—Ver. 1098. This passage is rather obscure; but it seem■
to mean that Bacchis had been engaged for a year by the Captain, and that having
received the whole sum when the original agreement was made, she had ar-
ranged to repay the Captain a sum proportionate to the time that was want.
ing to complete the year engaged for.
Boils with indignation-Ver. 1099. "Peracescit." Literally, "turns sour."
204
Act V,
BACCHIDES;
Nico. We now, as we are of like age, are meeting with
similar fortunes.
PHILO. So it is. But as to yourself, what's the matter
with you?
Nico. I' faith, mine's the same mishap as your own.
PHILO. Does this misfortune in any way relate to your son?
NICO. Such is the fact. PHILO. The same disease exists
in my own breast.
Nico. Aye, and that very worthy fellow, Chrysalus, has
been ruining my son, myself, and all my fortunes.
PHILO. Pray now, what is this mishap of yours about your
son ?
Nico. You shall know: together with your own son he's
undone; both of them are keeping mistresses alike.
PHILO. How do you know? Nico. I have seen them.
PHILO. Ah! wretch that I am! I'm ruined outright.
NICO. Why do we hesitate a moment to knock and to call
them both hither out of doors.
PHILO. I don't object. Nico. (knocks at the door of the
house of BACCHIS). Hallo there! Bacchis! Bid the door to
be opened this instant, if you please, unless you had rather
the door and the posts be knocked to bits with hatchets.
SCENE II.
Enter FIRST BACCHIS and SECOND BACCHIS from the house.
1st BACCH. Who is it that calls out my name with such a
noise and tumult, and is knocking so hard at the door?
NICO. I and this person here. (Pointing to PHILOXENUS.)
1st BACCH. Pray, what's the matter now? Who has been
driving these sheep¹ to us?
Nico. These most shocking hussies call us sheep.
2nd BACCH. Their shepherd's asleep, as they come stray-
ing thus from the flock.
1 Driving these sheep)-Ver. 1121 She calls them sheep, probably, because
of their venerable appearance; though she afterwards remarks that they are
but dirty sheep. Perhaps, too, it was the custom among ladies of this class, in
cant phrase to call those "sheep" who could stand fleecing; a point on which it
will be found in the dialogue that they exchange remarks. "Goats" would have
been a more appropriate name, under the circumstances for the old sinners.
Sc. II.
205
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS.
1st BACCH. But, i' faith, they are not white; they both
look dirty.
2nd ВAсCн. Because they have both been shorn just now.
PHILO. How they seem to be laughing at us.
Nico. Let them, just as long as they please.
1st BACCH. Don't you think that these sheep are shorn
three times a year?
2nd BAсCH. I' faith, to-day one of them has been already
shorn twice, that's sure.
1st BACCH. They are old and fleeceless¹, both of them.
2nd BлсCн. But I think they have been in good plight once.
1st BACCH. Prithee, do you see how they are looking with
a sheep's eye at us ?
2nd BACCH. By my troth, I really do believe they are with-
out any ill design.
PHILO. This happens to us deservedly, for having come
here.
1st BACCH. Well, let them be driven in-doors to fold2.
2nd Baсcн. I don't know what occasion there is for that,
as they have neither milk nor wool. Let them stand as they
are.
Of whatever value they have been, they are now out of
date; all their fruit has fallen off them by this. Don't you see,
how, straying unattended, they are ranging about at liberty?
Why, I fancy that they must be dumb with age; they don't
bleat even, though they are absent from the rest of the
flock. They seem both silly and worthless.
1st BACCH. Let's return in-doors, sister.
NICO. Stay where you are, both of you; these sheep want
you.
2nd BACCH. Why, surely this is a prodigy; sheep are ad-
dressing us with a human voice.
PHILO. These sheep will return you the heavy and great
injury which they owe to you.
1st BACCH. If you owe me aught, I forgive it you; keep it
1 Old and fleeceless)—Ver. 1129. "Mina ovis" was a sheep that had no wool
on its belly. It is hard to say why this name was given to it. If the word
"mina" had signified a certain coin, and not a sum of money merely, we might
have supposed it alluded to the smoothness of the coin.
2 Be driven in-doors to fold)-Ver. 1134. " Cogantur." Literally, "let them
Cogor" was the term applied to per ing or folding sheep or
be driven within." แ
cattle.
206
Act V.
BACCHIDES ;
to yourself; I'll never demand it of you. But what is the
reason that you are threatening mischief to us?
PHILO. Because they say that our two lambs are shut
up here. (Pointing to the house.)
NICO. And besides those lambs, my dog is there concealed
that bites¹. If they are not now produced to us and sent out
of the house, we shall be furious rams; we shall attack
you forthwith.
1st BACCH. Sister, I have something to say to you in
private.
2nd BACCH. How now, prithee? (They go apart.)
NICO. Whither are they going? 1st BACCH. Sister, I
give to you that old fellow that's farthest off, that you may
have him cleverly smoothed down; I'll now attack this
other one that's angry; if we can only entice them here in-
doors.
2nd BACCH. I'll manage my task with cleverness, although
'tis to caress an old skeleton.
1st BACCH. Take care and do your best.
2nd BACCH. Be quiet; do you do yours; I'll manage what
I have said.
NICO. Why are these two women holding a council here
in private ?
PHILO. What say you, my good fellow-
NICO. What would you with me?
ashamed to tell you a certain thing.
?
PHILO. I really am
NICO. What is it that you're ashamed about?
PHILO. Still, as you are a person, a friend of mine, I'm de-
termined to entrust you with what I could wish. (Whispers.)
I'm good for nought.
Nico. I've known that this long time; but tell me why
you're good for nought?
PHILO. I've been terribly touched with birdlime: troth,
my heart is pierced by the goad.
NICO. I' faith, 'twere much better if your flanks were
goaded, you worthless fellow. But what is it? Although I
suspect that I myself pretty well know already what it is;
still, I should even like to hear it from yourself.
PHILO. Do you see that woman? (Pointing to the SECOND
BACCHIS.) NICO. I see her.
¹ That bites)—Ver. 1146. He alludes to his having been bitten by Chrysalus.
Sc. 11.
207
OR, THE TWIN-SISTERS.
PHILO. She's not an uncomely person.
Nico. Troth, but she is decidedly uncomely; and you are
& good-for-nothing fellow.
PHILO. Why more? I'm in love. Nico. You, in love?
PHILO. 'Pon honor¹. Nico. And do you, you rotten
creature, presume to become a lover at your time of life?
PHILO. Why not? Nico. Because it's a disgrace.
PHILO. What need of words? I am not vexed with
son, nor yet is it right you should be vexed with yours: if
they are in love, they do wisely.
1st BACCH. *
approach the old men.)
*
my
* Follow me this way. (They
NICO. See, they are moving at last, these allurers and
enticers to disgrace. (To the women.) How now? Do you
this instant restore us our sons and my servant, or an I
to try rougher means with you?
PHILO. Won't you away with you? You surely are
not a man, to address a pretty woman so rudely in that
fashion.
1st BACCH. Most worthy old gentleman, by whatsoever is
upon the earth, let me entreat this of you, that you will cease
to attack this error with such great vehemence.
Nico. If you don't away with you, although you are so
handsome, I'll be doing you some great mischief just now.
1st BACCH. I shall endure it; I don't apprehend that any
olow that you can give, will cause me any pain.
NICO. How smooth of speech she is. O me! I am in
alarm.
1st BACCH. (aside). He's more calm already. (Aloud.) Step
this way with me in-doors; and there, if you choose, correct
your son. (Takes his arm.)
NICO. Avaunt from me, abomination! (Shakes her off)
1st BACCH. Do, my love, let me prevail upon you.
NICO. You, prevail upon me? 2nd BACCH. For sure, I
1 shall prevail, at all events, upon this gentleman. (Pointing
to PHILOXENUS.)
PHILO. Yes, I beg of you to show me in-doors.
• 'Pon honor) — Ver. 1162. Nai yáp. This Greek phrase was, no doo bt,
used as a cant or off-hand mode of expression, jus as on similar occasions 6
alopt the French "oui" or "vraiement," "yes," "decidedly."
208
Act V.
BACCHIDES;
2nd BACCH. What a dear man you are.
PHILO. But do you know on what condition you are
to show me in-doors ?
2nd ВAсCH. That you are to be with me. PHILO You
mention all that I desire.
2nd BACCH. *
*
*
*
*
NICO. I have seen wicked men; but not one worse than
yourself.
PHILO. I am as I am. 1st BACCH. (to NICOBULUS). Step
this way in-doors with me, where you may be elegantly re-
ceived with viands, wine, and unguents.
NICO. Enough, enough now of your banquets; it matters.
not to me how I'm received. My son and Chrysalus have
choused me out of four hundred Philippeans. If I don't
surely this day put him to the torture, may I never receive
as large a sum again.
1st BACCH. What, pray, if half the gold is paid you back?
Will you go in-doors here with me, and so control your
feelings as to forgive them their faults?
PHILO. He'll do it. (Takes his arm.) Nico. Certainly not
-I won't-I don't care-let me alone, now. (Shakes him off)
I had rather punish them both.
PHILO. Take you care, you good-for-nothing man, that
through your own fault you don't lose even that which the
favouring Gods offer you. One half of the gold is offered;
take it, and carouse, and enjoy yourself with your partner.
NICO. What, am I to carouse in that very place where my
son is being corrupted?
PHILO. You must carouse there. Nico. Am I to be the
witness of it when she is reclining with him at table?
1st BACCH. Nay, so far as I'm concerned, i' faith, I'll re-
cline at table with your own self.
NICO. My head does itch so¹. (Aside.) I'm a ruined man--
I can scarce deny her.
PHILO. And has it not before this come into your mind,
that if, while you live, you enjoy yourself, that, i' faith, is for
no very long time; and that, if you lose the present day, it
can never return to you after you are dead?
Does itch so)—er. 1192. Being in doubt what to do, he scratches his head,
and then tries to turn it off by saying, "Bless me, how my head does itch."
Sc. II.
209
OR, THE TWIN-SISTER-.
Nico. What am I to do? PHILO. What are you to do?
Do you even ask it ?
NICO. I should like, and yet I'm afraid.
1st BACCH. What are you afraid of?
Nico. Lest I should be exposed before my son and my
servant.
1st BACCH. Pray now, my honey; such things do happen.
He's your own son; whence do you suppose that he is to
have money, except that only which you give him yourself?
Let me obtain pardon of you for them both.
NICO. (aside). How she does work her way. She's now pre-
vailing on me against that which I was quite resolved upon.
1st BACCH. I will love you, and embrace you.
NICO. Through your doing, and for your sake am I cor-
*upted.
1st BACCH. I certainly had rather 'twere for your own than
for mine.
NICO. Come then, however that may be, although it is
to my disgrace, I'll submit; I'll induce my feelings to do so.
1st BACCH. Have I that solemnly promised?
NICO. What I have once said, I will not alter.
*
1st Bacon. The day wears apace. Come into the house,
to take your places at table: your sons are expecting
within-
Nico. How soon, in fact, we may be dead, d'ye mean?
1st BACCH. 'Tis evening, already; come, follow us.
PHILO. Lead us in like bondsmen¹. (They go into the house.)
1st BACCH. (to the SPECTATORS). Right cleverly are these
persons entrapped themselves, who for their sons had laid a
(Goes in.)
snare.
The COMPANY³ of COMEDIANS.
Had not these old men been worthless from their youth
1 Like bondsmen)-Ver. 1205. "Addicti" were those who were made the slaves
of their creditors; being thus by law deprived of their liberty until they had paid
their debts.
2 These persons entrapped)—Ver. 1206. The two old men, at this moment, would
form a good companion picture to the Elders, who solicited the chastity of
Susanna.
3 The company) The whole company of actors (Caterva) now comes forward,
and chant or repeat the moral of the Play which has just been acted.
Р
210
Act V.
BACCHIDES.
upwards, they would not, with their hoary heads, have this
day done an action so disgraceful; nor, indeed, should we have
represented this, if we had not, before this, seen it happen that
fathers became the rivals of their sons in the houses of pro-
curers. Spectators, we wish you Farewell! and that you
will grant us loud applause.
STICHUS;
OR, THE PARASITE REBUFFED.
Dramatis Personæ.
ANTIPHO, an old gentleman of Athens.
EPIGNOMUS
PAMPHILUS¹
Two Brothers.
GELASIMUS, a Parasite.
STICHUS, the servant of Epignomus.
SAGARINUS, the servant of Pamphilus.
PINACIUM², a boy.
A PIPER,
PHILUMENA3, the wife of Epignomus.
PAMPHILA¹, the wife of Pamphilus, and sister of Philumena.
CROCOTIUM, a female servant of Philumena.
STEPHANIUM, a female kitchen servant of Pamphila.
Scene.-Athens: a Street before the house of ANTIPHO and those of EPIGNOMUS
and PAMPHILUS; the two latter being next door to each other.
In the former Editions he is called Pamphilippus. Ritschel clearly shows
that this is incorrect.
2 In the former Editions he is called Dinacium.
• In the former Editions she is called Panegyris.
• In the former Editions she is called Pinacium.
P
THE SUBJECT.
THE plot of this Play (which is supposed by some Commentators not to have been
written by Plautus) is extremely meagre. Antipho, a wealthy and jovial old
gentleman of Athens, has two daughters, Philumena and Pamphila. They are
married to two brothers, Epignomus and Pamphilus, who, having run through
their property in the company of idlers and Parasites, have, with the view of
retrieving their fortunes, taken to merchandize. Having been absent three years
from home, and no tidings being heard of them whether they are alive or not
Antipho assumes the prerogative of a father, and requests his daughters to
marry again; who resolve, however, to maintain their fidelity to their absent
husbands. Philumena sends the Parasite, Gelasimus, to the harbour to see if
any ships have arrived. In the meantime, the boy, Pinacium, brings her word
that her husband has returned to Athens. He and his brother meet the
Parasite, and resist all his attempts to fasten himself upon them; they then go
home, and become reconciled to Antipho, from whom, in their poverty, they had
become estranged; and who now requests them to make him a present of a
female slave. Stichus, the servant, obtains a day's holiday, together with a
present from his master of a cask of wine. He makes an entertainment for
himself, his friend Sagarinus, and their mistress Stephanium. The Play con-
cludes with a dance, to the music of the Piper.
STICHUS¹;
OR, THE PARASITE REBUFFED
THE ACROSTIC ARGUMENT.
[Supposed to have been written by Priscian the Grammarian.]
An old man (Senex) rebukes his daughters because they are so (Tam) persevering
in thus (Ita) adhering to their husbands, brothers, poor and abroad, and in
not deserting them. And, on the other hand (Contra), he is softened down by
prudent words to allow them to retain (Habere) those whom they have already
got. Enriched with wealth, their husbands (Viri) come back from beyond the
sea; each one retains his own (Suam) wife, and to Stichus a holiday is given.
ACT THE FIRST.
SCENE I.
Enter PHILUMENA and PAMPHILA.
PHIL. Sister, I think that Penelope was wretched from
her very soul, who was so long deprived of her husband; for
from our own fortunes, whose husbands are absent from us, we
judge of her feelings; for whose affairs, still, in their absence,
both night and day, sister, as is becoming, we are ever anxious.
PAM. 'Tis right that we should do our duty; and we do
not that any further than affection bids us.
PHIL. But, sister, step this way a moment; I want to speak
about the affairs of my husband.
PAM. Ain't they prospering, pray
?
PHIL. I hope and wish so, indeed. But, sister, at this am
I vexed, that your and my father, one who is esteemed as espe-
1 Stichus) Plautus has named this Play "Stichus," from the servant, who is one
of the characters in it, though not the principal one, as Gelasimus, the Parasite,
certainly occupies that place.
214
Act. I,
STICHUS;
cially honorable among all his fellow-citizens, should be
now acting the part of a dishonorable man; who is unde-
servedly doing so great an injustice to our absent husbands,
and is wishing to separate us from them. These things,
sister, render me tired of existence; these things are a care
and a vexation to me. (She sheds tears.)
PAM. Weep not, sister, nor do that to your feelings which
your father is threatening to do. 'Tis to be hoped¹ that he will
act more righteously. I know him well; he says these things
in jest; and he would not earn for himself the mountains of the
Persians, which are said to be of gold², to do that of which
you are in dread. Still, if he does do it, it befits you by no
means to be angry; nor will it happen without some reason.
For this is the third year since our husbands have been away
from home.
PHIL. 'Tis as you say; while, in the meantime, they
may be living, and may be well³, they do not make us ac-
quainted where they are, what they are doing, whether they
are doing well, neither do they return.
PAM. And do you, sister, regret this, that they do not
observe their duty, whereas you do yours?
PHIL. Troth, I do. PAM. Hold your peace, if you please;
take care, please, that I hear not that same thing from you in
future.
PHIL. And why, pray? PAM. Because, i' faith, in my
opinion, 'tis proper for all prudent people to observe and to
do their duty. For that reason, sister, although you are the
older, I advise you to remember your duty; and if they are
unjust and act otherwise to us than is right, then, i' faith, in
exactly the same degree, that there may be no further mis-
chief, it befits us studiously to remember our duty by all
means in our power.
PHIL. 'Tis good; I'm silenced. PAм. But do take care
and remember it.
PHIL. I do not wish, sister, to be thought to be unmindful
of
my husband; nor has he thrown away the distinction that
1 'Tis to be hoped)-Ver. 22. "Spes est." Literally, "there is a hope."
2 Said to be of gold)—Ver. 25. No doubt, as the Persians were from an early
period noted for their wealth and grandeur, it was a common notion with the
people of Europe that they had "mountains of gold."
3 May be well)-Ver. 31. After "valeant" in this line, a comma, and nɔt
colon, seems more reconcileable to the meaning of the passage.
Se. IÍ.
215
OR, THE PARASITE REBUFFED.
he conferred upon me. For, by my troth, his kindness is
pleasing and delightful to me; and, really, this choice of mine
is not now irksome to me, nor is there any reason why I should
wish to abandon this match. But, in fine, 'tis placed in our
father's power¹; that must be done by us which our rela-
tives enjoin.
PAM. I know it, and in thinking of it I am overwhelmed with
grief; for already has he almost disclosed his sentiments.
PHIL. Let us consider, then, what is necessary for us
to do.
SCENE II.
Enter ANTIPHO from his house, speaking at the door to his
SERVANTS.
ANT. The man in condition of a servant who always waits
to be told his duty, and doesn't remember to do it of his
own accord, that servant, I say, is not of a deserving character.
You remember well on each returning Calends to ask for
your allotment of provisions2; why, then, do you less remem-
ber to do what is necessary to do about the house? Now,
therefore, if, when I return, the furniture shall not be set for
me, each piece in its proper place, I'll be putting you in mind
with a bull's hide remembrancer³. Not human beings seem
to be living with me, but pigs. Take care, if you please, that
my house is clean, when I return home. I shall soon be back
home; I'm going to her house, to see my eldest daughter.
If any one should enquire for me, call me thence, some of
you; or I shall be here soon myself.
PHIL. (aside). What are we to do, sister, if our father shall
resolve against us?
¹ In our father's power)—Ver. 53. By the law of the Twelve Tables at Rome,
females were never "sui juris," but under a perpetual guardianship; and even
marriage did not entirely exempt them from parental authority, unless they had
been emancipated from it before. Among the Greeks also, parents exercised grea's
authority in disposing of their daughters in marriage.
2 Allotment of provisions)-Ver. 60. The Greeks, it must be borne in mind,
had no Calends (whence the proverb "ad Græcas Calendas," "to-morrow come
never"); the Poet is here alluding to the Roman custom of distributing to the
slaves their allowance of food on the Calends, or first day of every month.
""
3 Bull's hide remembrancer)—Ver. 63. "Monumentis bubulis." Literally,
with memorials of oxen.' The thongs of the "scutica" and of the "flagellum"
wers generally made of bull's hide.
216
Act I
STICHUS;
PAM. It befits us to submit to what he does whose power
is the stronger. By entreating, not by opposing, I think we
must use our endeavours. If with mildness we ask for
favour, I trust to obtain it of him. Oppose him we cannot,
without disgrace and extreme criminality; I will neither do
that myself, nor will I give you the advice to do it, but rather
that we should entreat him. I know our family¹; he will
yield to entreaty.
ANT. (speaking to himself). In the first place, in what
manner I should make a beginning with them, about that I
am in doubt; whether I should accost them in language
couched in ambiguous terms, after this fashion, as though I
had never pretended² anything at all against them, or whether
as though I had heard that they were deserving of some cen-
sure against them; whether I should rather try them gently
or with threats. I know that there will be opposition; I know
my daughters right well. If they should prefer to remain
here rather than to marry afresh, why, let them do so. What
need is there for me, the term of my life run out, to be waging
war with my children, when I think that they don't at all de-
serve that I should do so? By no means; I'll have no dis-
turbances. But I think that this is the best thing to be
done by me; I'll do thus; I'll pretend as though they had
themselves been guilty of some fault; I'll terribly terrify
their minds this day by some ambiguous expressions; and
then, after that, as I shall feel disposed, I'll disclose my-
self. I know that many words will be spoken; I'll go in.
(Goes to the door of PHILUMENA's house.) But the door's
open.
PHIL. Why, surely the sound of my father's voice reached
my ears.
PAM. I' troth, 'tis he; let's hasten to meet him with a
kiss. (They both run to kiss him.)
PHIL. My father, my respects. ANT. And to you the same.
Away this instant, and be off from me. (Removes her.)
PHIL. One kiss. ANT. I've had enough of your kissing.
PHIL. Prithee, father, why so?
¹ I know our family)—Ver. 74. "Nostros."
91 LL
people,' our family."
Literally, "ours," meaning “our
2 As though I had never pretended)-Ver. 77. Despite the ingenuity of Ritschel,
this line seems to be in a corrupt state.
Sc. II.
21.7
OR, THE PARASITE REBUFFED.
ANT. Because, as it is, the seasoning of your affection has
reached my soul¹.
PAM. Sit down here, father. (Points to a chair.) ANT. I'll
not sit there; do you sit down; I'll sit on the bench 2. (Sits
on a bench.)
PAM. Wait till I fetch a cushion.
ANT. You take kind care of me; I'm nicely seated now
as I am³.
PAM. Do let me, father. (Goes into the house.) ANT. What
need is there ?
PAM. There is need. (Coming out, and bringing a cushion.)
ANT. I'll submit to you. (Arranging the cushion.) Yes,
this does very well.
PAM. Why, daughters can never take too much care of
their parent. Whom is it proper that we should esteem more
dear than yourself? And then, in the next place, father, our
husbands, for whom you have chosen that we should be the
mothers of families.
ANT. You do as it is proper for good wives to do, in esteem-
ing your husbands, though absent, just as though they were
present.
PAM. 'Tis propriety, father, for us to highly honor those
who have chosen us as companions for themselves.
ANT. Is there any other person here to listen with his
ears¹ to our conversation?
1 Has reached my soul)-Ver. 92. "Meæ animæ salsura evenit." Literally,
'the salting has come forth to my soul." This phrase is rendered in Leverett's
Lexicon, "I am dejected" or "I am in an ill humour." That, however, does
not appear to be the meaning. The father has had kissing enough from his
daughters, but he intends, as it world seem, to compliment them by comparing
their kisses to salt, with its refreshing and vivifying powers; and when Philumena
asks for one kiss more, he says, "No, as it is (ita) their refreshing power has
reached my soul." Rost seems to be of this opinion, but he suggests that "animæ
mea" are vocatives plural; in that case the passage would mean, "as it is, my
loves," or (C
my delights, the refreshing salt of your affection has reached me.'
2 On the bench)-Ver. 93. "Subsellium" generally means "a footstool," used
by persons when sitting on a high seat. Here, however, it probably signifies a
bench," perhaps placed against the wall in the front of Philumena's house, where
he was about to make a call.
""
แ
3 Nicely seated now as I am)-Ver. 94. "Sat sic fultum est. Literally,
"enough is it thus supported." She has brought out the cushion, and has
placed it upon or at the back of the hard bench, which was perhaps something
like our garden chair.
♦ To listen with his ears)-Ver. 102. "Nostris dictis auceps auribus." Literally
218
Act L
STICHUS;
PHIL. There's no one except us and yourself.
ANT. I wish your attention to be given; for, unacquainted
with female matters and ways, I come now as a pupil to
you, my instructresses; in order that each of you may tell
me what endowments matrons ought to have, who are the best
esteemed.
PAM. What's the reason that you come hither to enquire
about the ways of females?
ANT. Troth, I'm looking for a wife, as your mother's
dead and gone.
PAM. You'll easily find, father, one both worse and of
worse morals than she was; one better you'll neither find
nor does the sun behold.
ANT. But I'm making the enquiry of you, and of this
sister of yours.
PAM. I' faith, father, I know how they should be, if they
are to be such as I think right.
ANT. I wish, then, to know what you do think right.
PAM. That when they walk through the city, they should
shut the mouths of all, so that none can speak ill of them
with good reason.
ANT. (to PHILUMENA). And now speak you in your
turn.
PHIL. What do you wish that I should speak to you
about, father?
ANT. How is the woman most easily distinguished, who is
of a good disposition ?
PHIL. When she, who has the power of doing ill, refrains
from doing so.
ANT. Not bad that. (To PAMPHILA.) Come, say you,
which choice is the preferable, to marry a maiden or a
widow?
PAM. So far as my skill extends, of many evils¹, that which
is the least evil, the same is the least an evil. He that can
avoid the women, let him avoid them, so that each day he
แ a fowler for our words;" in allusion to the stealthy manner in which the fowler
lies in wait for his prey.
¹ Of many evils)-Ver. 120. Pamphila is embarrassed here; and as she probably
does not wish her father to marry either widow or maiden, but still does not like to
tell him so, she takes refuge in a truism, rather than give a direct answer to his
question. Aristotle tells us that Epicharmus was much in the habit of giving ut
tarance to remarks of this nature.
Sc. 11.
219
OR, THE PARASITE REbuffed.
takes care, the day before, not to do that which, the day after,
he may regret.
ANT. What sort of woman, pray, seems to you by far the
wisest ?
PHIL. She who, when affairs are prosperous, shall still be
able to know herself, and who with equanimity can en-
dure it to be worse with her than it has been.
ANT. By my troth, in merry mood have I been trying the
bent of your dispositions. But 'tis this for which I am come
to you, and for which I wished to meet you both. My
friends are advising me to the effect that I should remove you
hence to my own house.
PAM. But still, we, whose interests are concerned, are ad-
vising you quite otherwise. For either, father, we ought not
formerly to have been bestowed in marriage, unless our hus-
bands pleased you, or, it is not right for us now to be taken
away when they are absent.
ANT. And shall I suffer you while I am alive to remain
married to men who are beggars ?
PAM. This beggar of mine is agreable to me; her own
king is agreablel to the queen. In poverty have I the same
feelings that once I had in riches.
ANT. And do you set such high value on thieves and
beggars ?
PHIL. You did not, as I think, give me in marriage to the
money, but to the man.
ANT. Why are you still in expectation of those who have
been absent for now three years? Why don't you accept an
eligible match in place of a very bad one?
PAM. 'Tis folly, father, to lead unwilling dogs to hunt.
That wife is an enemy, who is given to a man in marriage
against her will.
ANT. Are you then determined that neither of you will
obey the command of your father?
PHIL. We do obey; for where you gave us in marriage,
thence are we unwilling to depart.
¹ Her own king is agreable)—Ver. 133. She speaks here of the husband in the
charactor of the "rex," or "king," in his own establishment, which to him is his
kingdom. Of course, then, the wife would be the "regina," or
แ
queen."
(C рго-
2 Eligible match)-Ver. 138. "Conditio," in the sense of "offer" or
posal," especially applies to one of marriage. As their husbands had spent almost
all their substance, the ladies are probably living on the fortune which he has
given them, and he anticipates that it may be soon exhausted.
220
Act II,
STICHUS;
ANT. Kindly good b'ye; I'll go and tell my friends your
resolutions.
PAM. They will, I doubt not, think us the more honor-
able, if you tell them to honorable men.
ANT. Take you care, then, of their domestic concerns, the
best way that you can.
(Exit.
PHIL. Now you gratify us, when you direct us aright:
now we will hearken to you. Now, sister, let's go in-
doors.
PAM. Well, first I'll take a look at home. If, perchance,
any news should come to you from your husband, take
care that I know it.
you
PHIL. Neither will I conceal it from you, nor do you con-
ceal from me what you may know. (Calls at the door of her
house.) Ho there, Crocotium¹, go, fetch hither Gelasimus,
the Parasite; bring him here with you. For, i' faith, I wish
to send him to the harbour, to see if, perchance, any ship from
Asia2 has arrived there yesterday or to-day. But, one servant
has been sitting at the harbour whole days in waiting; still,
however, I wish it to be visited every now and then. Make
haste, and return immediately. (Each goes into her own
house.)
ACT THE SECOND.
SCENE I.
Enter GELASIMUS.*
And no
GEL. I do suspect that Famine was my mother; for since
I was born I have never been filled with victuals.
man could better return the favour to his mother, than do
I right unwillingly return it to my mother, Famine. For
in her womb, for ten months she bore me, whereas I have
been carrying her for more than ten years in my stomach.
She, too, carried me but a little child, wherefore I judge that
she endured the less labour; in my stomach no little Famine
1 Crocotium)-Ver. 150. This name is derived from "Crocus," which means
the plant of that name, or saffron.
2 Ship from Asia)—Ver. 152. Asia Minor was the place of resort, in those days
for persons who wish to make money speedily.
1
Sc. I.
221
OR, THE PARASITE REBuffed.
do I bear, but of full growth, i' faith, and extremely heavy.
The labour-pains arise with me each day, but I'm unable to
bring forth my mother, nor know I what to do. I've
often heard it so said that the elephant is wont¹ to be
pregnant ten whole years; for sure this hunger of mine is of
its breed. For now for many a year has it been clinging to
my inside. Now, if any person wants a droll fellow, I am on
sale, with all my equipage: of a filling-up for these chasms
am I in search. When little, my father gave me the name of
Gelasimus², because, even from a tiny child, I was a droll chap.
By reason of poverty, in fact, did I acquire this name, because
it was poverty that made me to be a droll; for whenever she
reaches a person, she instructs him thoroughly in every art.
My father used to say that I was born when provisions were
dear; for that reason, I do believe, I am now the more sharply
set. But on our family such complacence has been bestowed
-I am in the habit of refusing no person, if any one asks me
out to eat. One form of expression has most unfortunately
died away with people, and one, i' faith, most beseeming and
most elegant to my thinking, which formerly they employed:
"Come here to dinner-do so-really, do promise-don't make
any difficulties-is it convenient ?—I wish it to be so, I say;
I'll not part with you unless you come. But now, in the
present day, they have found a substitute for these expres-
sions-a saying, by my faith, truly right worthless and
most vile: "I'd invite you to dinner, were I not dining
out myself." I' faith, I wish the very loins of that
phrase broken, that it mayn't repeat its perjury if he
does dine at his own house. These phrases reduce me
to learn foreign habits, and to spare the necessity for an
auctioneer, and so proclaim the auction, and put myself up
for sale.
The elephant is wont)—Ver. 168. Pliny the Elder informs us that this was
the vulgar notion with regard to the elephant. He also says that Aristotle tells
us that two years is the duration of its pregnancy.
2 Name of Gelasimus)—Ver. 174. "Gelasimus" signifies "comical," "laugh-
able," "funny," from the Greek verb yeλáw, “to laugh."
3 Foreign habits)-Ver. 193. By "barbaros mores," he probably alludes to
the Roman custom of selling by auction, which was one of the duties of the
præco," or "herald," here rendered "auctioneer." Plautus frequently speaks
at one moment as though addressing a Greek, and at the next, a Roman, an
dience.
222
Act II.
STICHUS;
Enter CROCOTIUM from the house of PHILUMENA, unseen by
GELASIMUS.
CROC. (aside). This is the Parasite, whom I've been sent
to fetch. I'll listen to what he's saying, before I accost
him.
GEL. Now there are a good many curious mischief-makers
here, who, with extreme zeal, busy themselves with the affairs of
other people, and who have themselves no affairs of their own to
busy themselves with. They, when they know that any one is
about to have an auction, go forthwith and sift out what's
the reason; whether a debt compels it, or whether he has
purchased a farm; or whether, on a divorce, her marriage-
portion is to be repaid to his wife¹. All these, although,
' faith, I don't judge them undeserving, in their most
wretched state, to go toiling on, I don't care about. I'll
proclaim the reason of my auction, that they may rejoice in
my mishaps, for there's no person a busybody but what
he's ill-natured too. Very great mishaps, alas! have befallen
wretched me. So dreadfully afflicted has my property2 ren-
dered me: my many drinking-bouts are dead and gone;
how many dinners, too, that I've bewailed, are dead! how
many a draught of honeyed wine; how many breakfasts, too,
that I have lost within these last three years! In my
wretchedness, for very grief and vexation have I quite grown
old. I'm almost dead with hunger.
CROC. (aside). There's no one such a droll, as he is when
he is hungry.
GEL. Now am I resolved that I'll make a sale: out of
doors³ am I obliged to sell whatever I possess. Attend, if
you please; the bargains will be for those who are present.
To be repaid to his wife)-Ver. 204. If the divorce took place by mutual
consent, then the "dos," or "marriage-portion," of the wife was returned. Such
a circumstance occurring on a sudden, might very easily cause a necessity for
recourse to the services of the auctioneer.
แ
2 Has my property)—Ver. 210. "Mancupium," or mancipium," was any
species of property possessed by right of purchase. He here considers the din-
ners and the drinking-bouts, which he so misses, in the light of property to him-
self; the more especially as they had been purchased at the price of his "logi,"
his 'puns," or "bon mots."
³ Out of doors)—Ver. 219. "Foras;" "abroad," "out of doors.' The sales by
Auction took place in the open street
Sc. 1.
223
OR, THE PARASITE REBUFFED.
I've funny bon mots to sell. Come, bid your price. Whe
bids a dinner? Does any one bid a breakfast? They'll cost
you an Herculean breakfast2 or dinner. Ho, there! (to one
of the SPECTATORS) did you nod to me? No one will offer
you better-I won't allow that any Parasite has better
quibbles, cajoleries, and parasitical white lies³. I'm selling a
rusty flesh-scraper, too; a rusty-coloured brown bottle for the
แ
แ
1 Funny bon mots)-Ver. 221. "Logos." This word is the Greek λoyos,
λογος,
signifying a word," or a witty saying," in a Latin clothing. It exactly cor-
responds with the expression "bon mots," which we have similarly borrowed from
the French.
2 An Herculean breakfast)—Ver. 223. It is hard to say what he means by
"Herculeum prandium:" but, as Hercules was supposed to send good luck to those
who gave him the tenths of their property, whether that property consisted of a
house or a meal, his meaning probably is, "Whoever invites me to a meal, that
meal shall be as lucky to him as though he had sent the tenth part of it as an
offering to Hercules.'
3 Parasitical white lies)-Ver. 227. "Perjeratiunculas parasiticas." Literally,
"parasitical little perjuries." This is probably meant in reference to the adjura-
tions so common among the ancients on the most trivial occasions, and of which
the Parasite promises to be lavish in speaking in praise of his entertainer. The
diminutive "uncula" suits the measure, and also shows the air of self-satisfaction
with which he mentions that which he takes to be of the same harmless nature
which some easy casuists among ourselves attribute to what they choose to call white
lies. Indeed, the ancients esteemed perjury very much according to the subject on
which it was employed. Ovid mentions Mercury as laughing at the perjuries of
cheating tradesmen, and Jupiter as smiling at those of lovers; surely, then, “a little
bit of a perjury" (the true meaning of "perjeratiuncula") could not be amiss on
an occasion so trivial, and yet, to the Parasite, so all-important, as the acquisition
of a good dinner.
4 A rusty flesh-scraper)-Ver. 228. The "strigil" was an instrument used by
the Greeks and Romans in the place of the flesh-brush of modern times. It was
made of bone, iron, copper, and sometimes of silver. It was used after taking
the "sudatorium," or sweating-bath, for the purpose of scraping the perspiration
from the body. These instruments were of curved form, and in shape somewhat re-
sembled our tongue-scrapers on a large scale. Rich persons took slaves with them
to the baths for the purpose of scraping them. From Hesychius, Athenæus, and
Theophrastus, we learn that Parasites were much in the habit of spunging for
entertainers at the public baths; and, no doubt, they generally had ready, for an
emergency, both a "strigil" and a bottle of perfumed ointment, as a handy
medium of introduction to strangers.
• A rusty-coloured brown bottle)-Ver. 228. The "ampulla," or "bottle, ' was
probably a "lorea," or leather one, and had turned of a rusty-brown colour ici
axe.
224
Act II.
STICHUS;
Greek unguents¹ at the sweating-baths; delicate after-dinner
powders; an empty Parasite as well (pointing to himself),
in whom to lay by your scraps. 'Tis needful that these
should be sold at once for as much as they can; that, if I offer
the tenth part to Hercules, on that account it may be greater
*
**
*
*
*
CROO. (aside). An auction of no great value, by my troth.
Hunger has taken hold of the very deepest recess of the fel-
low's stomach. I'll accost the man. (Moves towards him.)
GEL. Who's this that's coming towards me? Why, surely
this is Crocotium, the maid-servant of Epignomus.
CROC. My respects, Gelasimus. GEL. That's not my name.
CROC. I' faith, for sure that used to be your name.
GEL. Distinctly it was so, but I've lost it by use.
I'm called Miccotrogus5 from what is fact.
Now
¹ Greek unguents)-Ver. 229. By mentioning "Greek unguents," Plautus
here recollects that he is addressing a Latin audience. The Greek cosmetics and
perfumes were much esteemed at Rome. Ovid, in the Art of Love, mentions the
Athenian "cesypum," which was much used by the Roman ladies for making the
complexion clear. It was made from the sweat and grease of the fleeces of the
sheep of Attica.
2 The sweating-baths)-Ver. 229. The "sudatorium," or "vapour" or "sweating
bath," was also called by the Romans "Laconicum;" because it was the habit of the
Lacedæmonians to strip and anoint themselves, without using warm water, after
the perspiration caused by athletic exercises. Cicero styles it "assa," because
it produced perspiration by means of a dry hot atmosphere. After it had been
used, and the "strigil" applied to the skin, the bather was dried with towels, and
then anointed, when the "unctiones Græcæ" of the Parasite would be in demand.
These were used either to close the pores of the skin and to prevent the person
from catching cold, or to keep the skin from being rough when dried with the
towel. Probably the Parasites were ready to give a hand on an emergency in
assisting to rub down and anoint the bather, especially if he was known to keep
a good "cuisine.”
³ After-dinner powders)—Ver. 230. "Crapularios." These were probably soft
and tasteless (malacos) powders, used, like our dinner-pills, in order to prevent the
bad effects of heating the stomach with rich food and excess of wine. A clever
Parasite would, of course, always have these in readiness on an emergency.
4 Tenth part to Hercules)—Ver. 233. He seems to be about to give a fic-
titious reason for his anxiety to get a dinner-that, forsooth, like a pious man, he
may have the greater amount of tithes to present to Hercules. The hiatus precludes
ns from forming any very determinate opinion on the meaning of the passage.
• Miccotrogus)—Ver. 242. This is a Greek compound word, which signifies
"crumb-eater;" in it he alludes to his short commons.
Sc. I.
225
OR, THE PARASITE REBUFFED.
CROC. O dear! I've laughed a good deal at you to-day.
GEL. When? or in what place? CROC. Here, when you
were carrying on a most worthless auction.
GEL. How now; did you really hear it?
CROC. Aye, and one really right worthy of yourself.
GEL. Where are you bound for now? CROC. For yourself.
GEL. Why have you come? CROC. Philumena bade me
ask you by all means to come to visit her at her house this
instant, together with me.
GEL. I' faith, but I'll surely come there as fast as I can.
Are the entrails cooked¹ by this? With how many lambs has
she been sacrificing?
CROC. Indeed, she hasn't been sacrificing at all.
GEL. How? What does she want with me, then ?
CROC. I think that she's going to ask you for ten mea-
sures of wheat.
GEL. Or me rather ask it of her?
CROC. No; that you yourself should lend them to us.
GEL. Tell her that I've nothing to give myself, or that she
could wish to borrow, nor anything whatever, except this
cloak that I have on. Even my very tongue that so freely
used to offer itself? I've sold as well.
CROC. HOW? Have you got no tongue?
GEL. Why, the former one, that used to say "here, take
me³," I've lost: see, here's one now that says "give me."
(Puts out his tongue.)
CROC. A curse may the Gods give you *
¹ Are the entrails cooked)-Ver. 251. It has been already remarked, that after
the sacrifice, the Gods having received their portion, the devotee took home the
remainder, and invited his friends to come to his house and partake of it. The
Parasite was not, perhaps, much in the wrong when he deemed a lamb's fry no
bad dish. St. Paul alludes to this custom when he tells the converts to keep
themselves from "things offered to idols.”—Acts, ch. xv., v. 20; and ch. xxi.
v. 25.
2 That so freely used to offer itself)-Ver. 258. It is very difficult to say
exactly what the Parasite means by "lingua dataria." Perhaps he means to
tell the girl that he is in a bad humour-that he now "gives" nothing at all, not
even his tongue, which has been hitherto "dataria," or "at the service" of every-
body. Now, however, he will put it up to sale by auction, and in future, before
he says
dabo," "I'll give you my tongue" or, in other words, "my company,"
cedo," "give me," or "tell me what is your offer" or "bidding.
8 Here take me)-Ver. 260. "Dabo." Literally, "I will give."
แ
he will say,
226
Act II.
STICHUS;
GEL. Aye, if a curse you want, this same tongue will
give you that.
CROC. Well now, are you coming or not?
GEL. Well, be off home; tell her I'll be there this mo-
ment; make haste and be off. (CROCOTIUM goes into the
house.) I wonder why she has requested me to be fetched to
her, who has never, before this day, requested that I should
be fetched to her, ever since her husband left. I wonder what
it can be; except it is for some experiment to be made upon
me; I'll go see what she wants. But see, here's her boy, Pina-
cium. Look at that now; how very facetiously and just like
a picture¹ does he stand? Full many a time, for sure, in good
troth, has he poured out for me the wine, almost unmixed,
right cleverly into a very tiny cup2 indeed. (Stands aside.)
SCENE II.
Enter PINACIUM at a distance, with a fishing-rod, hooks, and
a basket in his hand.
PIN. (to himself). Mercury, who is said to be the messenger
of Jove, never bore such pleasing tidings to his father, as I shall
e'en now be telling to my mistress. So loaded do I bear my
breast with joy and with delight; and really I don't care to
speak a syllable but in a highflown style. The charms of all
the loves and graces do I bring; my heart, too, is overleaping
its banks, and overflowing with joyousness. Now have you the
means of acquiring glory, fame, and honor; make haste, Pina-
cium, exhort your feet to swiftness, grace your message by
your deeds, and come to the rescue of your mistress in her need
* ** * ** * who is so wretched in awaiting the ar-
rival of her husband, Epignomus; just as becomes her does
she dote upon her husband, and anxiously long for him. Now,
Pinacium, do as pleases you, run on, just as you like; take
care and regard no person at the value of a straw; thrust
*
▪ Just like a picture)—Ver. 271. .“ Ex picturâ." Literally, "out of a picture.”
He means, that he has assumed some attitude at that moment like that of a
person in a picture or like a model in statuary, to which the word "pictura" also
applies.
2 In a very tiny cup)-Ver. 272. "Pauxillulo." Most probably this is said in
an ironical way. He perhaps refers to one injunction which, in his former and
more palmy days, be had given to the boy when waiting at table, to be sure and
provide him with a large cup, and not to mix too much water with the wine
Sc. II.
227
OR, THE PARASITE REBUFFED.
tnem from the path with your elbows; make right smooth
your way. If a king shall come in your way, upset the king
himself forthwith.
GEL. (apart). Why, I wonder¹, is Pinacium running so
overladen with baggage?? He's carrying a rod, and a basket,
and a fish-hook.
PIN. (to himself). But yet, I think 'tis proper that my
mistress should come with entreaty to me, and that she should
send envoys to me, and gifts of gold, and chariots in which for
me to be borne, for I can't go on foot. Therefore I shall now
go back. (Turns back.) I think it is only proper that I should
be approached and addressed with entreaties.
And do you
really think that it's mere nonsense or nothing at all that I
am now acquainted with? Blessings so great am I carrying
from the harbour, joys so extensive am I bringing, that hardly
could my mistress herself presume to wish this of the Gods,
if she were to know it. And am I to carry it, then, of my own
accord? It pleases me not, nor do I think that the duty of
a man. This way does it seem to be better suited to this
news of mine; let her come to meet me, let her entreat me
to communicate to her this news. Haughtiness and pride
befit prosperous fortunes. But, at last, when I reconsider it,
how could she know that I know this? (Turning round.)
Well, I can't do otherwise than return, than speak, than
relate it at length, and relieve my mistress of her grief,
and both mightily increase the good deeds of my ancestors,
and present her with a comfort unhoped for and oppor-
tune. I'll outdo the deeds of Talthybius, and I'll set
all messengers at nought, and at the same time I'll think
about the running at the Olympic games. But this distance¹
1 Why I wonder)—Ver. 288. “Quidnam dicam." Literally, "what shall I”
must I say;" exactly corresponding to our phrase "I wonder why."
or
99.66
2 Overladen with baggage)—Ver. 288. "Lixabundum." The "lixæ" wers
the free suttlers or dealers, who followed the Roman armies. Their name is said
to have been derived from the old Latin word "lixa,' water," probably because
they originally supplied the army with water. "Lixabundus" here means
"laden with baggage," in allusion to the fishing-tackle which the lad is carrying.
3 Talthybius)-Ver. 305. Talthybius was the Grecian herald, who, with Eury-
bates, was sent by Agamemnon to Achilles, to fetch away Hippodamia or
Briseis.
แ
• But this distance)-Ver. 307. He here alludes to the comparative narrowness
of the stage, which would not allow him room to practise for the cursura," or
"running" at the Olympic games. The "stadium," or place for running at these
games, was about a furlong in length.
228
Act Il.
STICHUS;
is far too short for the course; how sorry for it I am. How's
this? I see the door's closed. I'll go and knock at the door.
(Knocks at the door of PHILUMENA's house.) Open, and
make haste, cause the door to be thrown open; away with all
delay. This matter is attended to too carelessly; see how
long I've been standing here and knocking. Are you in-
dulging yourselves with a nap? I'll try whether the door or
my arms and feet are the stronger. (Knocks and kicks.) I
wish much that this door would run away from its master,
that for that reason it might meet with a heavy punishment¹.
I'm tired of knocking. Well, be this the last for you. (Knocks
again.)
GEL. (apart). I'll go and accost him. (Accosts PINACIUM.)
Good day to you.
PIN. And good day to you. GEL. Are you turned fisher-
man, then ?
PIN. How long is it since you ate ?
GEL. Whence come you? What are you carrying? Why
are you in a hurry?
PIN. About that which is no business of yours, don't you
trouble yourself.
GEL. What's there in that? (Taking up the lid of the
basket.) PIN. Snakes, for you to eat.
GEL. Why are you so pettish? PIN. If you had any
shame, you wouldn't address me.
GEL. May I learn the truth from you?
PIN. You may; this day you'll get no dinner.
SCENE III.
Enter PHILUMENA from her house.
PHIL. Who now, pray, is breaking this door down? (To
GELASIMUS.) Are you doing this? Do you come to me like
an enemy?
GEL. My respects to you; I come at your bidding.
PHIL. And is it for that reason you are breaking down
my door?
GEL. Scold your own people; the offenders are your own.
I came to see what you wanted me for. Why, for my own
part, I pitied this door.
1 A heavy punishment)—Ver. 312. He wishes that the door was in the condı-
tion of a slave, and that it had run away from its master, and then it would
receive a severe punishment for its obduracy-"malum magnum."
Sc. III.
229
OR, THE PARASITE REBUFFED.
PIN. For that reason your assistance was given so very
readily.
PHIL. Pray, who's that, talking here so near to us?
GEL. Pinacium. PHIL. Where is he? (Looks on each
side.)
PIN. (coming forward). Attend to me, and leave alone that
needy Parasite, Philumena.
do
PHIL. Pinacium.
PIN. That name my elders gave me.
PHIL. What's your business? PIN. What's my business,
you ask ?
PHIL. Why shouldn't I ask it? PIN. What's yours with
me?
PHIL. Do you insult me, impudent fellow? Answer me,
this very instant, Pinacium.
PIN. Bid those, then, to let me alone, who are detaining me.
PHIL. Who are detaining you? PIN. Do you ask me
that? A lassitude is in possession of all my limbs.
PHIL. Well, I know right well that it's not in posses-
sion of your tongue.
PIN. With such rapid speed have I been hastening from
the harbour, for the sake of your own well-doing.
PHIL. Why, do you bring any good news?
PIN. I bring more, by very much, than you expect.
PHIL. I'm saved, then. PIN. And I'm done for; lassi-
tude is drinking up my marrow apace.
PIN. Many.
GEL. What, then, am I, the marrow of whose stomach,
to my sorrow, famine has seized upon ?
PHIL. Did you meet any one?
PHIL. But any man? PIN. Very many; but, of the many,
not one a greater rascal than he is. (Points at GELASIMUS.)
PHIL. HOW so ? GEL. I have been affronted already at
his saying uncivil things to me. If you irritate me any
further (Holds up his fist to PINACIUM.)
PIN. I' faith, you'll be plaguy hungry to eat me.
GEL. I'll cause you to know that assuredly you've said
that with reason.
·
PIN. I wish everything to be made clean. (Calls to the
SERVANTS from the door.) Bring out here your brooms, and a
reed as well,¹ that I may destroy all the labours of the spiders
¹A reed as well)-Ver. 347. "Arundinem," a long reed, probably like a
fishing-rod, which would be able to sweep away the spider-webs otherwise out o
reach.
230
Act II.
STICHUS;
and their plaguy webs, and rout out all their looms. (The
SERVANTS bring some brooms.)
GEL. The poor things will be cold in future.
PIN. What? Do you think that they are just like yourself,
with only one coat? Take this broom. (Gives him a broom.)
GEL. I'll take it. PIN. This I'll take myself. Do you
sweep away there.
GEL. I'll do so.
(Sweeps away.) PIN. (calling aloud).
Will some one bring here a pail and water¹?
GEL. Really, this fellow's playing the Edile without the
vote of the public even. (The water is brought.)
PIN. Come, do you quickly sweep the ground, and sprinkle
before the house.
PIN. It needs be done.
GEL. I'll do so.
I'll knock down
the spider-webs there from the door and from the wall.
GEL. I' faith, a troublesome business, this.
PHIL. Still, I don't at all understand what it means; un-
less, perchance, some guests are about to come?
PIN. (ordering the SERVANTS). Do you spread the couches.
GEL. (aside). The beginning pleases me, about the couches.
PIN. Others, you chop the billets; others, you clean the
fish which the fisherman has brought; take you down the
gammon of bacon and the collar of brawn³.
GEL. (aside). I' faith, this is a very sensible fellow.
PHIL. By my troth, as I imagine, you haven't quite
minded the directions of your mistress.
PIN. Why, I've left all matters unattended to by reason
of what you wished.
PHIL. Then do you inform me upon that, on account of
which you were sent to the harbour?
PIN. I'll tell you. After, with the daybreak, you had sent
me to the harbour, the sun with its beams opportunely
arose from out of the sea. While I was enquiring of the
¹ A pail and water)—Ver. 352. "Nassiternam.”
spouts, which received its name from "nasum,”
tres," "three."
A water-vessel with three
a spout," compounded with
2 Playing the Edile)-Ver. 353. The writer here again refers, in a play
the scene of which is at Athens, to Roman customs. The Adile was a public
officer at Rome, whose business it was to see that the strects, houses, and
temples, were kept clean. They were chosen by the votes (suffragium) of the
common people, to which fact Gelasimus alludes in the next line.
3 Collar of brawn)-Ver. 360. "Glandium." This really was the neck of
the hog, which received its name from the kernels (glandes) which it contained.
Sc. II1.
231
OR, THE PARASITE REBUFFED.
revenue officers whether any ship had arrived from Asia, and
they were saying none had come, I beheld, in the meantime,
a bark, than which I think I never saw a greater one. With
♣ favouring breeze, and in full sail, it came into harbour. We
were enquiring one of another whose ship it was, and what it
carried? In the meantime I espied your husband and his
servant Stichus.
PHIL. Ha! what? Did you mention Epignomus ?
GEL. Your husband and my own life.
PIN. He has arrived, I say. PHIL. Did you see him
yourself?
PIN. Yes, and with pleasure too.
GEL. I' faith, I'll surely
take the broom, and sweep this place with pleasure.
PIN. He has brought a great amount of silver and gold.
GEL. 'Tis right cleverly done.
in plenty.
PIN. Wool and purple
GEL. Aye, for me to clothe my carcase with.
PIN. Couches, adorned with ivory and gold.
GEL. I'll recline at table right regally.
PIN. Besides Babylonian coverings for couches¹, and
carpets dyed in purple, has he brought.
GEL. Abundance of fine things. I' faith, his business has
been successful.
PIN. Then, as I began to say, female players on the harp,
on the pipe, sackbuts too², has he brought with him, of sur-
prising beauty.
GEL. Capital! When I'm at my wine, I'll be quite
sportive; then am I in merriest pin.
1
PIN. Besides many unguents of numerous kinds.
¹ Coverings for couches)--Ver. 378. "Peristromatia," "blankets" or "counter-
panes" were used among the Romans to cover couches; they were sometimes of the
most costly description, and were mostly of purple colour, and frequently richly
embroidered with gold. Pliny speaks of Babylonian cloths of divers colours,
and in the seventh chapter of Joshua, ver. 24, we read, "When I saw among
the spoils a goodly Babylonish garment."
2 Sackbuts too)-Ver. 381. "Sambucas." "Sambuca" is supposed to be the
same instrument which is mentioned in the third chapter of the Prophet David, and
is rendered in our version of the Old Testament by the word "sackbut." This in-
strument was probably introduced into Greece and Rome from Syria or Phoenicia.
It is supposed to have been a kind of triangular harp. The word "sambucas"
is substituted in Ritschel's edition for "sambucinas," in the former editions
It is probably intended here to have the same meaning-" female players on the
sambuca,' "who were also called "sambucistriæ," and whose performances
were highly prized by the Romans as Asiatic luxuries.
232
Act II., Sc. II1.
STICHUS;
GEL. I'll not sell my bon mots; I'll not have an auction
now; I've got an estate in feel. Let the mischievous hunters
of auctions go to perdition. Hercules, I congratulate thee
that the tenths which I vowed to thee are increased. 'Tis
my hope that at length, by some means or other, I may expel
this plaguy famine from my stomach.
PIN. And then, besides, he has brought some Parasites?
with him.
GEL. Alas! to my confusion, I'm undone.
PIN. Right funny fellows. GEL. I' faith, I'll sweep this
dust back, which I just now swept together. (Sweeps it
back). Those bon mots are now on sale, which I was saying
I wouldn't sell. I'm done for: now there is occasion for
spiteful persons to rejoice at my misfortune. Hercules,
thou who art a God, thou really hast departed not oppor-
tunely.
PHIL. Did you see Pamphilus, the husband of my sister?
PIN. NO. PHIL. Isn't he there?
PIN. Yes, they said that he had come as well. I ran
hither before them, with all speed, that I might bring the
welcome tidings.
PHIL. Go in-doors, Pinacium; bid the servants prepare
the sacred things for me. (To GELASIMUS.) Fare you well!
GEL. Do you want me to assist ?
PHIL. I have servants enough in the house. (PHILUMENA
and PINACIUM go into the house.)
GEL. (to himself). In good sooth, Gelasimus, I doubt you
have come to but little purpose, if neither he that is here
gives you any aid, nor yet he that's coming. I'll off in-
doors to my books, and take my instructions from the
cleverest sayings; for if I don't drive away those fellows, the
Parasites that are coming, most surely I'm undone. (Exit.
"A fortune," or
¹ An estate in fee)-Ver. 384. "Hæreditas."
แ an heirdom,"
ust as we say,
"I have come in to a fortune." He alludes to the pleasant life he
anticipates, by spunging on the wealthy Epignomus and his brother.
"L
2 Brought some Parasites)-Ver. 388. The arch boy only adds this to put
Gelasimus in a fright, in which he fully succeeds. There was no necessity to
import Parasites from Asia to Athens.
3 The sacred things)—Ver. 396. To perform a sacrifice on the safe return of her
husband.
• To my books)—Ver. 400. These were probably pamphlets, filled with jokes
and funny stories, which Parasites would study for the entertainment of the patrons
whom they were to amuse by way of return for their dinner. These books perhaps
Act III., Sc. I.
233
OR, THE PARASITE REBUFFED.
ACT THE THIRD.
SCENE I.
Enter EPIGNOMUS and STICHUS, followed by some SLAVES.
EPIG. Inasmuch as, my business prosperously carried on,
I am returned safe home, thanks do I return to Neptune
and to his tempests; to Mercury as well¹, who in my traffic
has aided me, and by my profits has rendered my property
fourfold. Those whom formerly I affected with sorrow at
my departure, the same shall I now make joyous at my ar-
rival. But already have I met my connexion Antipho, and
from bad terms have I returned to friendship with him. See,
prithee, what money can effect. Since, my affairs pros-
pering, he sees that I've returned, and brought home
great wealth, without any mediators, there on board the
ship, upon the deck, we have returned to friendship and good
feeling. Both he and my brother dine with me this day;
for yesterday we were both in the same harbour2 together;
but to-day my ship weighed anchor a little the soonest.
Take these people in-doors, Stichus, whom I've brought
with me.
STICH. Master, whether I'm silent or speak, I'm sure
occupied the same position as the "Joe Millers" did in this country during the last
century, and the "Academies of Compliments" in the century before. Indeed,
the latter, in all their amplitude, would have been invaluable to a Parasite, as they
contain directions how to court a lady, ask a riddle, sing a funny song, put a posy
on a ring, direct a letter, and a hundred other things.
• To Mercury as well)-Ver. 404. Mercury was the God of traffic and gain,
and the guardian of tradesmen. He was said to receive his name from "merx,"
"traffic" or "merchandise." See the comical prayer of the cheating tradesman to
his tutelar Divinity, in the Fasti of Ovid, B. 5, l. 675 et seq.
2 In the same harbour)-Ver. 416. He here alludes to the custom in those
times of lying at anchor during the night, and sailing in the day-time only,
as it is clear that reference cannot here be made to the harbour from which they
originally set out, as that was in Asia, and they could not have reached Athens
from Asia within twenty-four hours. Epignomus and his brother appear to have
freighted two ships with the valuable property which they had acquired in part-
nership.
³ These people whom)-Ver. 418. He alludes to the female slaves which have
been already mentioned, consisting of harpers and music-girls, one of whom
we shall shortly find to have attracted the admiration of Antipho.
234
Act III.
STICHUS;
you know how many hardships I've endured in your ser
vice; now, on my arrival home, I wish to spend in freedom'
this one day after these many hardships.
EPIG. You ask what's just and right. Stichus, you may
take this day for yourself; I don't object to it. Go where
you like. A cask, too, of old wine, I give you to drink.
STICH. O, grand! I'll have my mistress this day.
EPIG. Even ten, so long as it is at your own expense.
STICH. What
EPIG. What
*
*
*
*
*
*
STICH. I'll go and dine
pleases me
*
EPIG. Where do you dine to-day ?
*
***
у
*
?
*
?
'Tis thus it
*
STICH. This plan have I thus resolved upon. I have a
mistress here in the neighbourhood, Stephanium, the servant-
maid of your brother. I'm going to invite her; I'll take her
to a pic-nic entertainment? at her fellow-servant's, Sagarinus,
We both have the same mistress; we are rivals.
EPIG. Come then, conduct them in. I grant you this
day.
STICH. Hold me to blame if I don't make the most of it³.
Troth now, I'll pass through the garden to my mistress, to
engage her beforehand for me this evening; at the same time
I'll give my contribution, and bid the dinner to be cooked at
Sagarinus's, or else I'll go myself and make my marketing
as caterer. Sagarinus,
**
*
*
*
*
**
a servant
**
*
***
*
*
*
* for my
* with stripes *
*
* to take him home well thrashed, I'll make all
things to be in readiness here; but I'm delaying myself.
¹ To spend in freedom)—Ver. 422. "Eleutheria." This is, originally, a Greek
word. It was also the name of the Goddess of Liberty.
2 A pic-nic entertainment)—Ver. 433. "Symbola" was the name given to an
entertainment to which each of the guests contributed in money or kind; similar
in principle, to what we call a "pic-nic" entertainment.
³ Make the most of it)—Ver. 436. "Excruciavero." Literally, "torment it.'
He seems to allude to the word "dedo,” used by his master in the preceding line,
"I surrender to you this day;" that word being especially applied to the sur-
render or giving-up of prisoners; on which Stichus rejoins, "As the day is
surrendered to me, I'll torment it like a real prisoner"-meaning "I won't let it
pass in quietness." He fully kees his word.
Sc. II.
235
OR, THE PARASITE REBUFFED.
And don't you be surprised¹ (to the AUDIENCE) that men, who
are slaves, drink, court, and give invitations to dinner? This
is allowed us at Athens. But when I think of it, rather
than meet with censure, there's here, too, another door to the
back buildings of our house. I'll go that way to market; by
that way I'll bring back the provisions-through the garden
there's a passage that communicates with both houses. (To
the SLAVES.) Do you follow me this way. I surely will pul
this day to bits2. (Goes into the house of EPIGNOMUS.)
SCENE II.
Enter GELASIMUS.
GEL. (to himself). I've consulted my books; I'm as sure
as possible, that by my funny bon mots I shall recover my
patrons. Now I'm going to see whether he has arrived by
this from the harbour, that when he comes I may smooth
him down with my speeches.
EPIG. Surely, this is Gelasimus, the Parasite, that's
coming.
GEL. (to himself). With lucky auspices, by my troth, this
day did I come out of doors; since an omen auspiciously befel
me¹. This was beheld by me; how a weasel carried off a mouse
close at my feet. For as she found sustenance for herself
¹ Don't you be surprised)—Ver. 446. He apologises for introducing slaves carous-
ing on the Roman stage, by reminding the Spectators that the scene is at Athens.
where greater freedom and indulgence was allowed to slaves than at Rome.
2 Pull this day to bits)—Ver. 453. • Hunc lacero diem." He seems here to
continue the metaphor used in ver. 436: "I'll torture this day finely”—I'll get
all I can out of it.
3 Recover my patron)-Ver 455. "Regem." In common parlance, rich men
were often styled by their dependents and flatterers, " rex," "my king."
Auspiciously befel me)-Ver. 460. "Quum strena mi obscævavit." This
passage is very obscure, and has puzzled the Commentators, who have generally
taken refuge in a various reading, "Eum strenue obcænavit," which seems to
make but very poor sense. The research, however, of the indefatigable Ritschel
has set that mode of escape entirely at rest. "Strena" was the name of a New
Year's gift, which was given and received on the Calenas of January, that the
year might be commenced under good auspices. Probably from that circum-
stance, it became synonymous with a good or auspicious omen.' "Olscævo"
is rendered in the Dictionaries, "to give a bad omen." Such, however, is not
necessarily its meaning, in all instances. "Scæva" is an omen" or (6 augury,
whether fortunate or not. Consequently, "obscævo" may very reasonably mean,
to fall in one's way as an omen;" if so, the expression, as here used, will mean,
"a lucky omen fell in my way.
(6
""
236
Act III.
STICHUS;
this day, so do I hope that I shall do, as the augury predicts.
(Sees EPIGNOMUS.) Surely this is Epignomus that's standing
here; I'll go and address him. My dear Epignomus, how
pleased I am to see you now; how my tears are starting forth
for very joy. Have you all along enjoyed your health?
EPIG. With care it has been preserved.
GEL. Right heartily I wish you health¹.
EPIG. You speak kindly, and like a friend. May the Gods
grant what you wish.
GEL. *
*
* EPIG. I, sup there with you?
GEL. Since you are returned safe.
EPIG. Really, an engagement has been made already; but
I give you thanks.
GEL. Do promise me. EPIG. It's settled.
GEL. But do, I say. EPIG. The thing's agreed on.
GEL. By my troth, you'd do it with much pleasure to me.
EPIG. I know that well. When an opportunity shall come,
it shall be so.
GEL. Now, then, is the opportunity.
EPIG. I' faith, I cannot. GEL. Why make difficulties?
Do consider; I have I know not what luxuries at hand2.
EPIG. Do be off, now; seek for yourself another guest for
to-day.
GEL. You promise, then? EPIG. I would make no diffi-
culty if I could.
GEL. Really, on my word, one thing, for sure, I promise
you, I'd entertain you with pleasure, beyond a doubt, if
you would promise.
EPIG. Adieu! (Moving.) GEL. Have you resolved?
EPIG. I have resolved. I shall dine at home.
GEL. (aside). Since nothing has been effected this way, I'll
therefore approach him by a more open path, and I'll speak
plainly out. (To EPIGNOMUS.) Since you, yourself, are not
willing to promise to come to me, should you like that I
should come to dine with you?
EPIG. If it were possible, I should like it; but here are
nine other people³ coming to dine at my house.
¹ I wish you health)-Ver. 468. "Propino tibi salutem plenis faucibus." Lite-
rally, "I drink your health with my jaws crammed full," a very apt mode of ex-
pression for a Parasite.
2 Luxuries at hand)—Ver. 478. "In mundo." Literally, "in the world.”
• Nine other people)—Ver. 487. Aulus Gellius and Macrobius tell us that the
Sc. II.
OR, THE PARASITE REBUFFED.
237
GEL. For my part, I don't ask that I should recline on
the couch; you know that I'm a man for the lower seats.
EPIG. But these are deputies of a people, tip-top men
they come here as public ambassadors from Ambracia¹.
GEL. Let then the deputies of a people, your tip-top men,
recline at the tip-top place; I, the lowest, in the lowest
quarter.
EPIG. It isn't proper for you to be entertained among
deputies.
GEL. I'faith, and I-I'm a deputy, too, but little it does
evail me.
EPIG. I intend that to-morrow we shall dine upon the
scraps. Sincerely, farewell. (Goes into his house.)
GEL. By my troth, 'tis clear that I'm undone, and by no
fault of my own³. The number is less than it was before by
one Gelasimus. I'm resolved, hereafter, never to believe in
a weasel, for I know of no beast more uncertain than her.
She who herself is ten times a day shifting her place, from
her have I taken my omens in matters of life and death to me!
I'm determined to call my friends together, to take counsel
how by rule I must starve henceforth.
(Exit.
ancients never admitted to a feast more than nine, the number of the Muses, or
less than three, the number of the Graces. The true reason, however, was that
the three " triclinia," or couches, made three parts of the square around the table;
and each containing but three, nine was as great a number as could be accommo-
dated. Epignomus mentions that number here, by way of assuring Gelasimus that
there is really no room for him. On this, the Parasite says that he is "imi
subsellii vir," a man for the lowest stool" or "bench," which he can very well
manage with.
"Subsellia" was the name of the seats of the Tribunes, Triumvirs,
and Quæstors, who were not honoured with Curule chairs.
¹ From Ambracia)—Ver. 491. Ambracia was a city of Epirus, on the Western
coast of Greece.
2 I'm a deputy, too)-Ver. 495. He puns on the word "orator," which signi-
fies "
a pleader" or "orator," as well as an "ambassador" or "deputy." He says
that he is a pleader too (for the cause of his own stomach), but all to no purpose.
³ By no fault of my own)—Ver. 497. "Nihil obnoxie," "by reason of no fault
or offence of my own;" thus consoling himself for his rebuff. It has been ob
served by various Critics, that this passage is very obscure; but the above trans.
lation, which is sanctioned by the learned Rost, is most probably the correct one
Warner renders it "out of doubt," which, out of doubt, is not the meaning,
238
Act IV.
STICHUS;
ACT THE FOURTH.
SCENE I.
Enter ANTIPHO and PAMPHILUS.
ANT. So may the Gods favour me, and preserve for me my
daughters, it is a pleasure to me, Pamphilus, that I see you
both return home to your native land, your business prosper-
ously managed, yourself and your brother.
PAM. I should have heard enough from you, Antipho, did
I not see that you are friendly to me; now, since I've found
that you are my friend, I'll give you credence.
ANT. I would invite you to my house to dinner, had not
your brother told me that you were going to dine at his
house to-day, when he invited myself to his house to dinner.
And it would have been more proper for me to give you an
entertainment on your arrival, than to engage myself to him,
were it not that I didn't wish to disoblige him. Now I don't
wish with words alone to insinuate myself into your favour;
to-morrow you shall be at my house, both you and he, with
your wives.
PAM. Then, the day after, at my house; for it was yester-
day he invited me for to-day. But am I quite reconciled to
you, Antipho?
ANT. Since you have thus thrived in your affairs, as it
behoves yourselves and persons friendly disposed to wish, let
there be good-will and intercourse between us. Take you care
to think of this; according as wealth is obtained by each man,
so does he experience his friends. If his fortunes are flourish-
ing, so are his friends true; if his prospects decline, so, too,
do his friends decline. Fortune finds friends.
Enter EPIGNOMUS from his house.
EPIG. (to himself). I'm now returned. 'Tis a great delight,
if you have been long from home, when you return home
again, if no anxieties come in contact with your feelings.
But, in my absence, so well has my wife taken care of my
private affairs, that she has made me free and unembarrassed
by anxieties. But, see, here's my brother Pamphilus, walk-
ing with his father-in-law.
Sc. I.
239
OR, THE PARASITE REBUFFED.
PAM. How fares it, Epignomus? EPIG. How with you?
How long since you came into harbour?
PAM. Not very long ago. EPIG. (aside). And is it since
then that he has become on smooth terms with you?
ANT. (overhearing). More smooth than the sea, on which
you have both been borne.
EPIG. You do as you are wont to do other things. Do we
unlade the ship to-day, brother?
PAM. I would rather go quietly to work. Let's rather
lade ourselves with delights in their turn.
How soon will
the dinner be cooked? I haven't breakfasted to-day.
EPIG. Go in-doors to my house and bathe.
PAM. I'll only step home to my own house, to salute the
Gods and my wife. If I do that as I wish, I'll forthwith
return to your house.
EPIG. But your wife is hastening to come here with her
sister.
PAM. 'Tis very good; there will then be the less delay on
that account. I shall be at your house this instant.
ANT. (to PAMPHILUS). Before you go away, in your pre-
sence I wish to relate a single story to him.
EPIG. By all means. ANT. There was once an old gentie-
man, just as I now am; he had two daughters, such as mine
now are; they were married to two brothers, just as mine now
are to yourselves.
PAM. I wonder how the story is to turn out?
ANT. One of these young men had, as you (to PAMPHILUS)
now have, a damsel, a music-girl; he had brought her from
abroad, as you have now done. Now, this old gentleman was
a widower, just as I now am.
PAM. Do proceed; this story is really à propos.
ANT. Then said this old gentleman to him to whom the
music-girl belonged, just as I now say to you
PAM. I'm listening", and carefully giving heed.
¹ To salute the Gods)—Ver. 534. To thank his household Gods for his escape
from the perils of the sea, and his success in his speculations.
2 I shull be at your house)—Ver. 537. These words are given, in Ritschel's edition,
to Epignomus, but clearly erroneously, as it is Pamphilus who is promising that,
after he has run home, he will be at the house of his brother immediately.
3 I'm listening)—Ver. 546. Pamphilus says this, as the old man has probably
touched him, to bespeak his attention.
240
Act IV.
STICHUS;
re
ANT. "I gave you my daughter, to be a comfortable bed-
fellow for you; now, I think it fair that one should be given
me in return by you, to be my bed-fellow."
PAM. Who says that? Does he say it¹ just as though you
were to say it?
(C
ANT. Just as I now say it to you. 'Aye, I'll give you
two of them," says this young man, "if one's too little; and
if you are not satisfied with two," says he, "two more shall
be added."
PAM. Prithee, who says that? Does he say it just as
though I were to say it?
ANT. He says it just as though you were to say it. Then
says this old gentleman, just as though I were to say it,
Well, give me four, if you like, so long only as, i' faith,
you find them something to eat as well, that they mayn't
consume my victuals."
PAM. Why surely it must have been a stingy old chap to
say that, in asking food as well of him who promised them
to him.
ANT. Why surely, this young man must have been a
good-for-nothing fellow, who forthwith, when the other
asked him, refused to give him a grain of wheat. But, i'
troth, the old gentleman asked what was fair, inasmuch as
the dowry which he had given to his daughter, he wished
him to have as an equivalent for the music-girl.
PAM. I' faith, for sure I really do think that the young
man was well advised, who wouldn't give a mistress to that
old fellow in return for the dower.
..
ANT. The old gentleman wished, indeed, if he could, to
bargain for their maintenance; because he couldn't, he said
he wished it to be done on what terms it might. Done,"
said this young man. "You do me a kindness," said the old
gentleman. "Have I the thing agreed upon ?" said he.
"I'll do even as you wish it to be done," said the other. But
I'll be off in-doors, and congratulate my daughters on your
arrival. Then I'll go wash me at the bath; there will I
¹ Does he say it)-Ver. 549. He imitates the old man's manner of adapting his
story to the present company, and here jokes him upon it.
2 At the bath)--Ver. 568. "Pyelum." "Pyclus" is a Greek word Latinised
it signifies a vessel used in bathing, which was sufficently large to hold the bathe
m a sitting posture.
Sc. II.
241
OR, THE PARASITE REBUFFED.
take all care of my old age; after that, when I've bathed,
lying down, I'll await you at my leisure.
(Exit.
PAM. A funny mortal, Antipho; how cleverly he did make
up his story. Even yet the rogue considers himself a young
man. A mistress shall be given to the fellow, to sing to the
old chap at night in bed; for, i' faith, indeed, I know not
of what other use a mistress can be to him. But how
fares our Parasite, Gelasimus? Is he well, too?
EPIG. I' faith, I saw the fellow not so very long ago.
PAM. How fares he? EPIG. Like one half-starved.
PAM. Why didn't you invite the fellow to your house t
dinner?
EPIG. That on my arrival I mightn't be wasting anything
But see, here's the wolf in the Fable¹; here he is in person
with his ravenous fit.
PAм. We'll have some sport with the fellow.
EPIG. You put me in mind of a plan I had already re-
solved on.
*
**
*
SCENE II.
Enter GELASIMUS.
*
*
*
*
**
*
GEL. (to the AUDIENCE). But as I had begun to tell you;
while I have been absent hence, I've now been consulting
with my friends and with my relatives. They have been my
advisers to the effect that I should this very day kill myself
with starvation. But don't I see Pamphilus with his brother
Epignomus? Yes, 'tis he. I'll accost the man.
(Goes up
to PAMPHILUS.) O longed-for Pamphilus! O my salvation!
O my life! O my delight! right welcome. I rejoice that you've
returned safe from abroad to your native land. Welcome.
PAM. Welcome, Gelasimus. GEL. Have you been quite
well ?
PAM. I have taken good care of
#
my health.
Wolf in the Fable)-Ver. 577. "Lupus in Fabula" was a common expres-
sion among the Romans, answering exactly to our very elegar t Proverb, "Talk of
the devil, he is sure to appear." It either alludes to the Fable where the nurse
threatens that the wolf shall take the naughty child, on which he makes his ap-
pearance, but is disappointed in his expectations; or else to the well-known ong
of the Shepherd-boy and the Wol
R
242
Act IV
STICHUS;
GEL. I' troth, I'm glad of it. I' taith, I confoundedly
wish I had now a thousand measures of silver.
EPIG. What need have you of it?
GEL. I' faith, that I might invite him to dinner, and not
invite you.
*
EPIG. You are talking against your own interest.
GEL. This, then, that I might invite you both
*
*
* for my part **
* I should not avoid¹
there is nothing so
**
*
*
*
as this
**
*
****
EPIG. Troth, now, I'd ask you with pleasure, if there
were room left.
GEL. Well, standing, then, I'll gobble down a bit in the
scramble.
EPIG. No, only this one thing can be done.
GEL. What? EPIG. When the guests have gone, that
then you may come-
GEL. Hurra! capital! EPIG. To wash the pots, I mean;
not to dinner.
GEL. The Gods confound you! What say you, Pamphilus?
PAM. I' troth, this day I'm engaged to dine elsewhere
abroad.
GEL. How, abroad? PAM. Really abroad, on my word.
GEL. How the plague do you like, thus wearied, to be
supping abroad ?
PAM. Which do you advise me? GEL. Order a dinner to be
cooked at home, and word to be sent to him who invited you.
PAM. Shall I dine at home, alone?
GEL. Why, not alone; invite me. PAM. But I'm afraid lest
he should scold me, who has been to this expense for my sake.
GEL. It may easily be excused-only listen to me; do
order a dinner to be cooked at home.
EPIG. Not by my advice, indeed, will he act so as to dis-
appoint that person this day.
GEL. Will you not be off from here? Perhaps you sup-
pose that I don't see what you're about. Do you look to
yourself, please. (To PAMPHILUS.) How that fellow is
gaping after your property just like a hungry wolf. Don't
you know how men are set upon here in the street at night?
1 I should not avoid)-Ver. 590. The meaning of this fragment seems to be,
"I really would invite you both, if it were in my power; but as I have notlung to
offer you, you might as well give me an invitation."
Sc. II.
243
OR, THE PARASITE REBUFFED.
PAM. So many the more servants will I bid to come and
fetch me, that they may protect me.
EPIG. He won't stir-he won't stir; because you persuade
him so earnestly not to go out.
GEL. Do order a dinner to be cooked at home with all
speed for me and for yourself and your wife. Troth, if you
do so, I don't think you'll say that you are deceived.
PAM. So far as that dinner is concerned, Gelasimus, you
may be dinnerless to-day.
GEL. Are you going abroad to dine?
PAM. I'm going to dine at my brother's, hard by.
GEL. Is that fixed? PAM. Fixed.
GEL. By my troth, I hope you may be struck with a stone
this day.
PAM. I'm not afraid; I shall go through the garden; I'll
not go abroad.
EPIG. What say you to that, Gelasimus ?
GEL. You're entertaining your deputies; keep them to
yourself.
EPIG. Why, faith, 'tis your own business.
GEL. If, indeed, 'tis my own business, avail yourself of
my assistance; invite me.
EPIG. By my faith, I see, as I fancy, one place still for
yourself only, where you may recline.
PAM. Really, I do think it may be managed.
GEL. O light of the city! EPIG. If you can manage to re-
cline in a small compass.
GEL. Aye, even between two wedges¹ of iron. As little
space as a puppy can lie in, the same will be enough for me.
EPIG. I'll beg for it some way or other; come along.
(Pulls him along.)
GEL. What? This way? EPIG. Yes, to prison. For
here, indeed, you'll not find any further entertainment2.
Let's be off, you Pamphilus.
¹ Between two wedges)—Ver. 619. He will take so little space, that he will be
able to sit in the compass that lies between two wedges, when driven into a tree
for the purpose of forcing out a portion of the wood.
2 Further entertainment)—Ver. 622. "Genium." The Genii were tutelary Di-
vinities, each supposed to have charge of an individual from his birth to his
death. They were propitiated with wine and sacrifice, and hence the notion
arose that they took pleasure in revelry and feasting. From this circum-
stance, the word "genius" came to signify a person's capacity for
capacity for" or "love
of enjoyment."
..
R 2
244
Act V
STICHUS;
PAM. I'll but salute the Gods: then I'll pass through to
your house forthwith.
GEL. What then? EPIG. Why, I said that you might
go to prison.
GEL. Well, if you order it, I'll go there even.
EPIG. Immortal Gods! really, by my troth, this fellow
might be induced by a dinner or a breakfast to bear extreme
torture.
GEL. Such is my nature; with anything can I struggle
much more easily than with hunger.
EPIG. I know it: at my house full long enough has this
facility of yours been experienced by me
**
*
*
**
*
*
*
*
* while you were the Parasite of myself
and my brother, we ruined our fortunes. Now I don't wish
you to be made by me from a Gelasimus into a Catagelasi-
mus¹. (EPIGNOMUS and PAMPHILUS go into their houses.)
GEL. And are you gone now? Surely he is gone. Now
have I need of a wise resolution. Both are gone; consider,
Gelasimus, what plan you must adopt. *
What, I? Yes, you. What, for myself? Yes, for yourself.
Don't you see how dear provisions are? Don't you see how
the kindness and the heartiness of men have vanished?
Don't you see how drolls are set at nought, and how they
themselves are sponged upon? By my troth, not a person
shall ever behold me alive on the morrow; for, this instant,
in-doors will I load my throat with a bulrush dose². And by
this I shall not give cause for men to say that I died of
hunger.
(Exit.
ACT THE FIFTH.
SCENE I.
Enter STICHUS, and places provisions, a table, and couches
on the stage.
STICH. Foolishly and unwisely is it done in my opinion,
• Catagelasimus)—Ver. 631. He makes a poor joke on the name of Gelasimus,
by way of an excuse for not inviting him. "When helping me to spend my for-
tune, you were 'Gelasimus,' one that amused us by your wit and drollery. I'll
not now be instrumental in making you henceforth a butt and a subject of ridi-
cule to others:" the word being the name of Gelasimus, compounded with the
Greek preposition κατά.
2 A bulrush dose)-Ver. 639. He means that he will go and hang himself with
▲ rope made of bulrushes, which he calls a "bulrush dose" or draught."
(6
Se. II.
245
OR, THE PARASITE REBUFFED.
if people are in the habit, if they are expecting a person,
of looking out for him; faith, ne doesn't on that account
come a bit the faster. I'm now doing that same thing, in
looking out for Sagarinus; who, still, for that reason won't
come a jot the faster. Troth, I shall just now be taking my
place alone, if he doesn't come here. I'll now fetch that
cask of wine hither from home, and then I'll take my place.
The day, like snow, is melting away apace. (Goes into the
house of EPIGNOMUS.)
SCENE II.
Enter SAGARINUS.
SAG. Hail! Athens, thou nurse of Greece; country of my
master, hail! How joyously do I behold thee. But I have
a wish to see how my mistress and fellow-servant, Stephanium,
is faring. For I bade Stichus to give her my regards, and
to tell her that I should come to-day, so that she might cook
a dinner in good time. But, surely, here's Stichus.
Re-enter STICHUS, with a cask of wine.
STICH. (to himself). A clever thing you did, master, when
you presented your servant, Stichus, with this gift. O ye
immortal Gods! how many delights do I carry, how many
smiles, how many jokes, how many a kiss, dancing, dalliance,
and good-fellowship.
SAG. Stichus, how fare you? STICH. Right well, Saga-
rinus, most delightfully; I'm bringing Dionysus¹, as my
guest and yours. For, i' faith, the dinner's cooked; free
range has been given me and you at your house. For at
our house there's an entertainment; your master's dining
there with his wife, and Antipho as well; there, too, is my
master. This was given me as a present. (Points to the
cask.)
SAG. How? Are you dreaming? STICH. I' faith, I'm
telling you the truth.
SAG. Who then gave you this? STICH. What matters
that to you? I wish us this day to wash away everything
of foreign climes. Leave them alone; let's now attend to
Athens; follow me. Do you at once make haste, and bathe.
¹ Bringing Dionysus)—Ver. 661. Dionysus was the Greek name of Bacchus,
the God of wine. He alludes to the "cadus," or earthenware cask of wine which
be is carrying.
246
Act IV.
STICHUS;
SAG. I have bathed. STICH. Very good follow me, then,
this way in-doors, Sagarinus.
1
SAG. Of course, I follow. By my troth, this beginning pleases
me as I return home; a happy omen and augury has met
me in my path. (They go into the house of PAMPHILUS.)
SCENE III.
Enter STEPHANIUM from the house of EPIGNOMUS.
STEPH. (to the AUDIENCE). I wish that it may ap-
pear wondrous to no one of you, Spectators, why I who
live there (pointing to the house of PAMPHILUS) am come
out hither from this other house: I'll inform you thereon.
Just now was I sent for to this house by the back way.
For as soon as news was brought that the husbands of these
ladies were about to come, we all hurried thither. We
attended to laying the couches, and setting all in order.
Still, amid these duties, I had a care for my friends, Stichus
and my fellow-servant Sagarinus, that their dinner should be
cooked. Stichus has been caterer; but for cooking it, I've
appointed one my deputy. Now, I'll be off hence, and
attend to my friends, who, I see, are coming here. (Goes
into the house of PAMPHILUS.)
SCENE IV.
Enter STICHUS and SAGARINUS from the house of PAMPHI-
LUS with provisions, a PIPER following.
SAG. Come, out of doors with you; lead on the proces-
sion2. Stichus, I appoint you commander of the cask. I'm
resolved to prove our banquet in every fashion this day.
So may the Gods love me, we are well entertained in being
feasted in this place. I will that each person that passes
by shall be invited to join the banquet.
STICH. Agreed, so long only as, i' faith, each man comes
with his own wine3; for of this, a mouthful shall be given to
¹ A happy omen and augury)—Ver. 673. “Bona scæva strenaque." See the
Note to 1. 460.
2 Lead on the procession)—Ver. 683. They are about to have their carousal in
front of the house. Sagarinus puts on an air of importance, as if mustering all of
large company; whereas the only guests, besides himself, are Stichus and the
Piper. Stephaniu.n has gone to dress herself for the occasion.
• With his own wine) — Ver. 687. It has been before remarked, that the
"symbola," or "ic-nic" was made on these terms.
Sc IV.
247
OR, THE PARASITE REBUFFED.
no person but ourselves, this day. Eating alone¹, let's wait
upon ourselves.
SAG. This banquet, for our means, is quite sufficient, with
its nuts, beans, figs, a dish of olives, pounded lupines, and a
cake.
STICH. It better becomes a man who is a slave to bring
his expenses within moderation than beyond. Each one to
his own station; they, who have wealth at home, drink from
cups, goblets, and bowls; we, if we are now drinking from
our Samian jug³, still build our walls according to our
means.
SAG. But while she who is your mistress and mine is
arranging her hair, and bedecking herself, I wish us to have
some diversion among ourselves. I appoint you the com-
mander of this feast.
STICH. Very aptly does it suggest itself to your mind.
SAG. Wouldn't we be more suitably entertained like
Cynics5 on benches here, than upon couches?
STICH. Aye, but this is far the most pleasant.
SAG. On which side is each of us to recline by our mis
tress ?
STICH. Of course you go to the upper place. And, so
that you may understand it, I make a division with you on
these terms: consider, and take which province you would
even like now to take. (They take their places.)
¹ Eating alone)—Ver. 689. Monotrophi. From the Greek word μovoτpodoì,
μονοτροφοι,
"eaters alone."
2 Nuts, beans, figs)—Ver. 690. These articles formed the usual food of the Ro-
man slaves.
³ Samian jug)—Ver. 694. A plain earthenware goblet, or cup. Reference has
been already made to the Samian pottery. The Proverb in this line is similar to
ours, of each "cutting his cloth according to his measure."
• The commander)—Ver. 697. "Strategum." This is a Greek word, signi-
fying the commander of an army. It was usual with the Greeks, Romans,
and Jews, to appoint a master of the feast, who probably gave the toasts, looked to
the comforts of the guests, and took care that the quality of the wine was satis-
factory. See the second Chapter of St. John, v. 8.
• Entertained like Cynics)—Ver. 699. The absurdities consequent on the unity
of place in the Roman Comedy could not possibly be better illustrated than in the
present instance. The servants not only carouse in front of their master's house,
but absolutely bring out couches to recline upon. Persons of rigid manners,
and especially the Cynic philosophers, persisted in retaining the old posture of
sitting at meals; to that circumstance reference is here made.
248
Act V.
STICHUS;
SAG But what's your meaning about this "province ?"
STICH. Whether you would choose to hold the command
over the water or over Bacchus.
SAG. Over Bacchus, most distinctly. But, in the mean-
time, general of ours, why stands this goblet here?
how many cups¹ we have drunk.
See
STICH. As many as there are fingers on your hand. The
Greek song is, "Drink either your five cups 2 or your three,
but not your four."
SAG. (about to drink). I pledge you. Do you take for
yourself the tenth part from the fountain³, if you are wise.
Here's luck to you, luck to us; here's luck to thee, luck
to me; luck to our Stephanium as well.
STICH. 'Tis bravely done. I pledge you in a goblet. (Drinks.)
SAG. Keep your wine; I'd very much like something by
way of a relish.
STICH. If you are not satisfied with what's here, there's
nothing else. Take some water5.
1 How many cups)-Ver. 706. "Cyathos."
Cyathos." The "cyathus" was a cup which
contained a fixed and definite measure. It contained but a small quantity, one-
twelfth part of a "sextarius," which was not quite an English pint. It seems
most probable that the "cyathus" was used for the purpose of ladling the wine
out of the bowl, or "cratera," in which it was mixed with water, into the
goblets or cups.
The question of Sagarinus here seems to apply to the number
of "cyathi" of the pure wine which they had been drinking at each goblet-full
that they took, as otherwise they would be making but slow inroads on the
cadus," five "cyathi" holding, perhaps, about as much as three of our ordi-
nary wine-glasses. It is not improbable that a portion of the Play is lost here.
2 Either your five cups, fc.)—Ver. 707. These words are in Greek. Eustathius
and Athenæus say that this Greek song bears reference to the proportions of
water that should be mixed with the wine. It seems, however, bere to mean
that there's "luck in odd numbers" when you are drinking.
3 From the fountain)—Ver. 708. The "fons" in this case was probably a
pitcher of water which they had on the table. Sagarinus seems to recommend
him, in mixing, only to take one-tenth part of water. Sober people generally
mixed in the proportion of three-fifths water and two-fifths wine.
4 By way of a relish)—Ver. 711. By "pulpamentum" Sagarinus seems to
mean some dainty, by way of a relish; at least, Stichus so understands him, as
he points to the nuts, beans, figs, lupines, and olives on the table, and tells him
that he will get nothing else.
Take some water)-Ver. 712. He probably tells him to take some water if
he feels queer, or, in our vernacular, "seedy," from taking too much wine; which
he has some reason to suppose, from the other calling for a "pulpamentum.'
Anchovy toast is an item of our favorite "pulpamenta."
*
Sc. IV
249
UR, THE PARASITE REBUFFED.
SAG You say right; I care for no dainties. Drink away,
Piper; drink, if you do drink. I' faith, this must be
drunk-don't shirk it. (Holds the goblet to the PIPER.)
Why flinch at what you see must be done by you? Why
don't you drink? Do it, if you are to do it. Take it, I
tell you, for the public pays for this. That's not your way
to shirk your drink. Take your pipes2 out of your mouth.
(The PIPER drinks.)
STICH. When he has drunk, either do you mind my
rules³, or else I'll give up. I don't wish us to drink
this straight out; we shall soon be about nothing; for,
by my faith, almost all in a moment, the cask might be
turned head downwards 5.
SAG. (to the PIPER). How now? Although you did make
a fuss about it, still it didn't hurt you. Come, Piper, when
you've done drinking, put back your pipes to your lips;
quickly puff out your cheeks, just like a reptile serpent".
Come now, Stichus, whichever of the two breaks order, shall
be fined a cup.
STICH. You propose a good regulation. You ought to
have your way, who only ask what's fair.
1 Drink away, Piper)-Ver. 713. He thinks that the Piper is inclined to shirk
his goblet, and to show that he himself is not flagging in spirit, tries to keep him
up to the mark.
2 Take your pipes)-Ver. 716. The "Tibicines," "Pipers" or "flute-players,"
among the Greeks and Romans, were in the habit of playing upon two pipes at the
same time. These were perfectly distinct, and were not even, as has been supposed
by some, connected by a common mouth-piece. The Romans were particularly fond
of this music, and it was introduced both at sacrifices, funerals, and entertain-
ments. See a comical story about the Roman "Tibicines" in the Fasti of Ovid,
B. 6, 1. 670 et seq. From the present specimen they appear to have been merry
souls, occupying much the same place as the country fiddlers of modern times.
3 Mind my rules)-Ver. 717. It is pretty clear, that in his zeal, and to show
that there is no flagging in him, Sagarinus has been overdoing it, perhaps helping
himself out of his turn; on this, the other threatens to resign his office of master
of the ceremonies.
◄ Soon be about nothing)—Ver. 718. "Nulli rei erimus posteà." This is the
proper reading, which has been restored by the research of Ritschel. It is diffi-
cult to say precisely what he alludes to, but most probably he means, "at this
rate our supply will soon be exhausted."
5 Turned head downwards)—Ver. 719. He says that the "cadus," or earthen-
ware cask, will soon at this rate be capable of being turned upside down without
any risk of spilling the wine
A reptile serpent)--Ver. 722. The head of the serpent is said to swell, or pu
cut, when it is inft iated.
250
Act V
STICHUS;
SAG. Mind it then; if you offend, I'll forth with sake the
forfeit on the spot.
STICH. You ask what's quite right and just.
SAG. (pledging STICHUS). Here's to you first of all.
STICH. 'Tis a droll thing this, for two persons, rivals of
each other, to be courting, to be drinking from one goblet,
and to be kissing one wench. 'Tis worthy of remark this:
I am you, you are I; of one accord are we.
With one
mistress are we both in love; when she's with me, still she's
with you; and when she's with you, she's with me as well;
neither of us envies the other.
SAG. Come, come, there's enough of it; I don't want it
overdone to weariness. I'd now like some other sport.
STICH. Drink on, if you are drinking.
SAG. There shall be no skulking in me. But, troth, I've
had enough of the feast; would but our mistress come
here. If she were here, nothing else would be away.
STICH. Should you like us to invite our mistress out?
She shall give us a dance.
SAG. I agree. STICH. (calling aloud). My sweet one, my
lovely one, my pleasing one, Stephanium, do come out of
doors to your sweethearts; to me you are quite charming.
SAG. But to me, indeed, most charming.
STICH. Make us jovial fellows more jovial by your assist-
ance and your company. Returning from abroad, we want
you, dear little Stephanium, my honey, that is, if our loving-
ness is pleasing to you, if we are acceptable to you.
SCENE V.
Enter STEPHANIUM, from the house of PAMPHILUS.
STEPH. I'll indulge you, my dears; but, so may pretty
Venus favour me, I should have already come out of doors
here together with you, had I not been sprucing myself up
for you.
For such is the way of woman, when she is well
washed, made clean, dressed and tricked out, still is she
incomplete; and a female who is a courtesan much more
quickly acquires dislike for herself by sluttishness than
always keeps in favour through neatness.
STICH. That's very cleverly said. SAG. 'Tis the genuine
language of Venus.
STICH. Sagarius. SAG. What's the matter?
Sc. V.
251
OR, THE PARASITE REBUFFED.
SAG. All over? So much
STICH. I'm in pain all over.
the more unfortunate you.
STEPH. Where do I take my place?
SAG. Wherever you please.
you, for I love you both.
STEPH. I'd like with both of
STICH. Whack go my savings¹. I'm done for; freedom has
abandoned this person of mine.
STEPH. Prithee, do give me room, where I may take my
place, if, indeed, I am agreable. (She takes her place.) Now
I do long to be cozy with you both.
STICH. I'm ruined utterly. What were you saying?
SAG. Heyday! What's the matter? STICH. So may the
Gods favour me, it never shall be otherwise this day but that
this girl shall have a dance somehow. Come, my love, my
sweet, do dance; I'll dance too. (They rise and dance.)
SAG. I' faith, you shan't that way get the better of me,
but what I'll have a bit of enjoyment, too, that way.
STEPH. Well, if I must dance, do you then give the Piper
something to drink.
STICH. Aye, and to me. SAG. (holds the goblet to the
PIPER). Piper, you take first: and after that, if you tipple
this off, just as has been your wont before to-day, straight-
way strike up some merry and amorous tune to dance to,
by which we may tingle all over from our very finger nails.
Pour some water here. Take this, you; toss it off. The drink
didn't please him just now; now at last he takes it with less
difficulty. Take it, you. (To STEPHANIUM.) In the mean-
time, apple of my eye, give me a kiss while he's drinking.
STEPH. Why, it's the way of a common strumpet, for a
damsel to give a kiss standing to her sweetheart as he
stands. (She turns away, while he tries to kiss her.)
STICH. Bravo! bravo! that's the way it's given to a thief 2.
SAG. Come, blow out your cheeks now; something in the
¹ Whack go my savings)—Ver. 751. It would appear at first sight, that he has
some compunctions, and intends to say, "this feast will prove so expensive that all
my savings (peculium) will be wasted, and I shall never be able to buy my free-
dom." There can be little doubt, however, that an indelicate pun is intended to
be concealed under the expression, "vapulat peculium."
• Given to a thief)—Ver. 766. She turns away with affected modesty from Saga-
inus, who only manages "to steal" a kiss. His rival is pleased at this, and cries
out that she only gives it to him as if he was stealing it.
252
Act V., Sc. V.
STICHUS.
amorous way¹ at once. Give us a new tune in return for the
old wine. What person in the Ionian² or the ballet line is
there that can do anything like that? (He capers about.)
STICH. If you get the better of me this turn³, just challenge
me to another.
SAG. Just you do it in this fashion. (Capers.)
STICH. And you in this fashion. (Capers too.) SAG. O
grand+!
STICH. O fine! SAG. O wonderful!
STICH. Quiet! SAG. Now, then, both in the same step.
(They dance quietly, in the same measure.) I challenge all
the dancing-masters to dance against ine. 'Tis no more pos-
sible for there to be enough of this for us than for there to
be too much rain for a mushroom.
STICH. (ceasing to dance). Let's away hence in-doors at
once now; we've danced long enough for the wine. You,
Spectators, give us your applause, and then go home to enjoy
yourselves.
¹ In the amorous way)—Ver. 767. It is difficult to say what was the exact dif-
ference between the "lepida" and the "suavis cantio." The first was, perhaps, a
merry," and the other an amorous tune.
แ
2 In the Ionian)-Ver. 769. The Ionian mode of dancing was graceful and volup
tuous. The Siciliaus had a dance of this nature in honor of Diana, which they
called "the Ionic dance.'
3 This turn)—Ver. 770. It is difficult to say what is the exact meaning of
"vorsus" or "versus" here. Possibly, it was the name of some particular dance,
or it may have merely meant a "turn" or "round," or as we say, "a set," in
dancing. Again, it may possibly mean some curious posture, in which Sagarinus
was skilled, and in assuming which Stichus could not cope with him. Gesture
and grimace formed the main features of the dance with the Romans.
4 O grand!)-Ver. 770. " Babæ," "Tatæ," and "Papæ," are merely exclama-
tions of the dancers, while inspired with the spirit of the dance; not unlike the
shrieks and noises which are frequently made by the dancers of our times, at fairs
and other places of public resort, where uproarious enjoyment takes the place of
sobriety, and, not unfrequently, of common decency.
³ Quiet!)—-—-Ver. 771. "Pax." This was the ordinary expression used to sig-
nify a pause" Stop."
• Long enough for the wine)-V. 774. They have fairly danced the wing
out.
PSEUDOLUS: OR, THE CHEAT.
Dramatis Personæ.
SIMO, an old gentleman of Athens.
CALIDORUS, his son, in love with Phoenicium.
CHARINUS, the friend of Calidorus.
CALLIPHO, the friend of Simo.
PSEUDOLUS, the servant of Simo.
BALLIO, a procurer, the owner of Phoenicium.
HARPAX, the servant of Polymachæroplagidos.
SIMMIA, the Cheat, a servant of Charinus.
A COOK.
A Boy, servant of Ballio.
PHOENICIUM [mute], beloved by Calidorus.
SLAVES of Ballio.
Same--Athens. The house of BALLIO 18 on one side of the Street that
Sʊ on the other.
THE SUBJECT.
CALIDORUS, a young Athenian, the son of Simo, is in love with Phonicium, a
young woman who belongs to Ballio, a procurer. A bargain has been made by
the procurer, to sell her to a military officer for twenty minæ ; fifteen of these have
been paid down, and it has been agreed that when the remaining five and a
certain token, with a letter, shall have been sent by the Captain, the damsel shall
be sent to him in return. Pseudolus, the servant of Simo, promises his master's
son, that, if possible, he will prevent this. They first address Ballio on the
subject; but their attempts to influence him are all in vain. Pseudolus then
devises a plan to get some money out of Simo, by whom, however, it is dis-
covered; but, after having acknowledged his fault, he prevails upon the old
gentleman to promise him twenty nine if he shall contrive to get the girl
out of the procurer's hands. Harpax, the messenger from the Captain, in
the meantime makes his appearance. Being a stranger to the place, he un-
wittingly delivers the Captain's letter and the token to Pseudolus, who pretends
that he is the head-servant of the procurer. Charinus, the friend of Calidorus,
iends him five minæ; and, provided with this, Pseudolus equips Simmia, a servant
of Charinus, so as to represent the messenger from the Captain. He finds the
procurer, delivers the letter, pays the five minæ, and carries off the damsel.
Ballo then makes a bet of twenty mine with Simo, that Pseudolus shall not
outwit him that day. The real Harpax now applies to Ballio for the girl, and
the trick being discovered, the procurer has to pay back the fifteen minæ to the
Captain, and the twenty for the bet which he has made with Simo. Simo then
pays the twenty mine, which he has promised to Pseudolus if he should suc-
ceed in outwitting the procurer. Pseudolus is handsomely entertained by
Calidorus, and engages to return to Simo one-half of the money, if he wil
join the entertainment.
PSEUDOLUS; OR, THE CHEAT
THE ACROSTIC ARGUMENT.
[Supposed to have been written by Priscian the Grammarian.]
AN officer pays down fifteen minæ, ready money (Præsentes); as a token he
also (Simul) gives an impression of his seal, that the procurer may deliver
Phoenicium to him (Ei), who brings it with the rest of the money. Pseudolus
intercepts his camp-servant coming (Venientem) with the token, saying
(Dicens), that he is Syrus, the servant of Ballio, and thus he gives his aid
(Opem) to his master; for the procurer (Leno) delivers up the damsel to
Simmia, whom he has substituted. The real Harpax comes (Venit); the
matter is all discovered, and the old man (Senex) pays the money which he
has agreed to give.
THE PROLOGUE¹.
ATTEND to me this day; good things I bring upon the
stage; for I think 'tis very just that to the good good things
should be brought; as likewise bad things to the bad; that
those who are bad may have what's bad, those who are good
what's good; bad men are bad because they hate the good;
because the good contemn the bad, needs must be that they
are good; and therefore, you are good since you have ever
abhorred the bad; and both by your laws, Quirites, and by
your legions, have you routed them with good success. In
like manner now do you give your goodly attention to this
goodly company, which is a good one, and to good people
1 The Prologue) It is generally supposed that this Prologue, with the excep-
tion of the last two lines, was not written by Plautus it is, however, of grest au-
quity, and is found in most of the MSS.
256
Act T.
PSEUDOLUS,
brings this day good things. Ears, eyes, and understanding,
shall be amply filled. He that comes hungry or thirsty to
the theatre, the same shall carefully give his attention both
through laughter and a sharpened stomach; while those who
are full will laugh, the hungry will be carping. Now, if you
are wise, you hungry ones, give place, and go away; you who
are full, stand-aye, sit you down, and give attention. I
shall not now divulge the plot, nor yet the name of this
play-Pseudolus will fully do that. I imagine then and I
think that this is enough which I have said to you. Where
mirth, jokes, laughter, wine, and jollity, are the order of the
day, the Graces, too, and propriety, joyousness, and delight;
ne who seeks for other things, that person appears to seek
for evil. Away, then, with evil cares, as being men at your
ease this day. 'Tis better for your loins to be stretched',
and for you to arise. A long play of Plautus is coming upon
the stage.
ACT I.-SCENE I.
Enter CALIDORUS and PSEUDOLUS from SIMO's house.
PSEUD. If, master, by your being silent, I could be in.
formed what miseries are afflicting you so sadly, I would
willingly have spared the trouble of two persons-of myself in
asking you, and of yourself in answering me. Since, however,
that cannot be, necessity compels me to enquire of you.
Answer me: What's the reason that, out of spirits for these
many days past, you've been carrying a letter about with
you, washing it with your tears, and making no person
the sharer of your purpose? Speak out, that what I am
ignorant of, I may know together with yourself.
CAL. I am wretchedly miserable, Pseudolus.
PSEUD. May Jupiter forbid it! CAL. This belongs not
at all to the arbitration of Jupiter; under the sway of Venus
am I harassed, not under that of Jove.
¹ Loins to be stretched)-Ver. 14. In the sitting position, the muscles of the
loins are contracted; hence the present expression.
2 Under the sway of Venus)-Ver. 15. The youth of both sexes, from the tenth
to the eighteenth year, were supposed to be under the dominion of Venus, to whom
they offered their clothes dolls, and toys, on arriving at puberty.
Sc. L
257
OR, THE CHEAT.
PSEUD. Is it allowable for me to know what it is? For
hitherto you have had me as chief confidant in your plans.
CAL. The same is now my intention.
PSEUD. Let me know then what's the matter with you.
I'll aid you either with resources, or with my efforts, or
with good counsel.
CAL. Do you take this letter: do you thence inform
yourself what misery and what care are wasting me away.
PSEUD. (taking the letter). Compliance shall be given you.
But, prithee, how's this?
CAL. What's the matter? PSEUD. As I think, these letters
are very loving; they are climbing on each other's backs.
CAL. Are you making sport of me with your foolery?
PSEUD. I' faith, I really do believe that unless the Sibyll
can read them, nobody else can possibly interpret them.
CAL. Why speak you unkindly of those sweet letters-
sweet tablets too, written upon by a hand as sweet.
PSEUD. Troth now, have hens, prithee, such hands? For
certainly a hen has written these letters.
CAL. You are annoying me.
the letter.
Either read it or return
PSEUD. Very well then, I'll read it through. Give me
your attention.
CAL. That's not here. PSEUD. Do you summon it then.
CAL. Well, I'll be silent; do you summon it from that
wax there²; for there my attention is at present, not in my
breast.
PSEUD. I see your mistress, Calidorus. CAL. Where is
she, prithee?
PSEUD. See, here she is at full length in the letter; she's
lying upon the wax.
CAL. Now, may the Gods and Goddesses, inasmuch-
PSEUD. Preserve me from harm, to wit.
S
¹ Unless the Sibyl)--Ver. 25. The Sibyl, being gifted with prophecy, might
know the meaning of that which could not be read. The 23rd line has been
somewhat modified in the translation.
2 From that wax there)—Ver. 33. Allusion is here made to the wax with which
he surface of the tablet was covered, and on which the writing was traced with
the iron "stylus."
³ › Inasmuch)—Ver. 37. He is going to say, "may the Divinities confound you ;'
which anathema l'seudolus adroitly turns aside, and refrains from further provok
ng his master.
258
Act 1.
PSEUDOLUS;
CAL. For a short season have I been like a summer plant¹;
suddenly have I sprung up, suddenly have I withered.
PSEUD. Be silent, while I read the letter through.
CAL. Why don't you read it then ?
PSEUD. (reading). "Phoenicium to her lover, Calidorus, by
means of wax and string and letters, her exponents, sends
health, and safety does she beg2 of you, weeping, and with
palpitating feelings, heart, and breast."
CAL. I'm undone; I nowhere find, Pseudolus, this safety
for me to send her back.
PSEUD. What safety? CAL. A silver one.
PSEUD. And do you wish to send her back a silver safety
for one on wood³ ? Consider what you're about.
CAL. Read on now; I'll soon cause you to know from
the letter how suddenly there's need for me for one of silver
to be found.
PSEUD. (reading on). "The procurer has sold me, my love,
for twenty minæ, to a Macedonian officer from abroad. Be-
fore he departed hence, the Captain paid him fifteen mine;
only five minæ now are remaining unpaid. On that account
the Captain left here a token-his own likeness impressed
on wax by his ring-that he who should bring hither a token
like to that, together with him the procurer might send me.
The next day hence, on the Festival of Bacchus, is the one
fixed for this matter."
а
CAL. Well, that's to-morrow; my ruin is near at hand,
unless I have some help in you.
PSEUD. Let me read it through. CAL. I permit you; for
I seem to myself to be talking to her. Read on; the
¹ Like a summer plant)—Ver. 38. Some Commentators think that Plautus
refers to some imaginary plant, which was supposed to grow up and wither on
the day of the summer Solstice. It seems, however, more probable that he only
refers to the short existence of summer flowers in general.
2 Safety does she beg)—Ver. 43. The writer plays upon the different meanings
of the word "salus." She sends you "salus," "greeting" or salutation," and
แ
แ
requests you to find her "salus," "safety" or rescue," in return.
For one on wood)-Ver. 47. Meaning, in return for her "salus," or saluta-
tion," upon the wooden tablet, is it your wish to send her "salus," "safety,"
procured through the medium of money, by effecting her liberation.
♦ Festival of Bacchus)-Ver. 59. "Dionysia." There were several festivals of
Bucchus at Athens. They were called "Dionysia" from Dionysus, the Greek
uame of that God.
Sc. I.
259
OR, THE CHEAT.
sweet and the hitter are you now mingling together for
me.
PSEUD. (reading on). "Now our loves, our tenderness, our
intimacy, our mirth, our dalliance, our talking, our sweet
kisses, the close embrace of us lovers equally fond, the soft,
dear kisses impressed on our tender lips, the delicious pressing
of the swelling bosom; of all these delights, I say, for me and
for you as well, the severance, the destruction, and the downfal
is at hand, unless there is some rescue for me in you or for
in me.
I have taken care that you should know all these
things that I have written; now shall I make trial how far
you love me, and how far you pretend to do so.”
CAL. 'Tis written, Pseudolus, in wretchedness.
PSEUD. Alas! very wretchedly¹.
weep, then?
you
CAL. Why don't you
PSEUD. I've eyes of pumice stone2; I can't prevail upon
them to squeeze out one tear even.
CAL. Why so? PSEUD. My family was always a dry-
eyed one.
CAL. Won't you attempt to assist me at all?
PSEUD. What shall I do for you?
CAL. Alas! PSEUD. Alas! do you say? Well, don't be
sparing of them, i' faith; I'll give you plenty.
CAL. I'm distracted. I nowhere can find any money to
borrow.
PSEUD. Alas! CAL. Nor is there a single coin in the
house.
PSEUD. Alas! CAL. He's going to carry the damsel away
to-morrow.
PSEUD. Alas!
me?
CAL. Is it in that fashion that you help
PSEUD. I give you that which I have; for I've a per-
petual supply of those treasures3 in my house.
CAL. It's all over with me this very day. But can you now
1 Very wretchedly)-Ver. 74. Pseudolus probably intends to allude to the bad
hand in which the letter seems to have been written, while his master refers to the
sorrowful tone of the epistle.
2 Of pumice stone)-Ver. 75. That is, "as dry as pumice stone."
3 Supply of those treasures)-Ver. 84. Of "Eheu !" "Alas 1" or "Oh dear
me!" This he repeats so frequently, because his master has reproached him for
not weeping in sympathy with him for the calamities of Phoenicium.
8 2
260
Act 1.
PSEUDOLUS;
lend me one drachma, which I'll pay you back to-mor
row ?
PSEUD. I' faith, I hardly think I could, even though 1
should pawn myself for it. But what do you want to do
with this drachma ?
CAL. I want to purchase a
halter for myself.
PSEUD. For what reason? CAL. With which to hang my-
self. I'm determined, ere 'tis dark, to take¹ a leap in the
dark.
*
PSEUD. Who then shall pay me back my drachma *
* ? Do you wish purposely to hang yourself for
the very reason, that you may cheat me out of my drachma
if I lend it you?
CAL. At all events, I can in nowise survive if she's re-
moved and carried off from me.
PSEUD. Why do you weep, you cuckoo²? You shall survive.
CAL. Why should I not weep, who have neither a coin of
silver in ready money, nor have the hope of a groat³ any-
where in the world?
PSEUD. As I understand the tenor of this letter, unless
you weep for her with tears of silver, the affection which you
wish yourself by those tears to prove is of no more value than
if you were to pour water into a sieve. But have no fear,
I'll not forsake you in your love. In troth, I do trust that
this day, from some quarter or other, by my good aid I
shall find you help in the money line. But whence that is
¹ Ere'tis dark, to take)—Ver. 90. “Ante tenebras tenebras persequi." Lite-
rally," before the shades to reach the shades." A wretched pun is attempted.
2 You cuckoo)-Ver. 96. "Cuculus." "Cuckoo" seems to have been in all
ages a term of reproach. Horace mentions it as being applied by the common
people to the vintagers in the autumn. Shakspeare, in the beautiful song in the
Fifth Act of Love's Labour Lost, has these lines:
The cuckoo then on every tree,
Mocks married men, for thus sings he,
Cuckoo !
Cuckoo! cuckoo! O word of fear,
Unpleasing to a married ear!
Perhaps the reason of this epithet being deemed opprobrious, was the simple fact
that the cuckoo is the laziest of birds, inasmuch as it is too idle to build its own
nest. The subject is further referred to in a future note
• Hope of a groat)-Ver. 98. "Libella" was the smallest silver coin among the
Romans, the tenth part of a "denarius."
Sc. 1.
261
OR, THE CHEAT.
to come,—that whence I know not how to pronounce; ex-
cept only that so it shall be; my eyebrow twitches¹ to that
effect.
CAL. As to what you say, I trust that your deeds may be
as good as your words.
PSEUD. I' faith, you surely know, if I set my plans
a-going2, after what fashion and how great is the bustle that
I am in the habit of causing.
CAL. In you are now centred all the hopes of my ex-
istence.
PSEUD. Is it enough, if I this day make this damsel to be
yours, or if I find you twenty minæ ?
CAL. 'Tis enough, if so it is to be.
PSEUD. Ask of me twenty minæ, that you may be assured
that I'll procure for you that which I have promised. Ask
them of me, by my troth, prithee do; I long to make the
promise.
CAL. Will you this day find me twenty mine of silver?
PSEUD. I will find ther; be no more troublesome to me
then. And this I tell you first, that you mayn't deny that
it was told you; if I can no one else, I'll diddle your
father out of the money.
CAL. So far as filial affection is concerned, even my mother
as well. May the Gods always preserve you for me. But
what if you are not able ?
PSEUD. Upon that matter do you go to sleep with either
eye.
CAL. With the eye or with the ear³ ?
Now,
PSEUD. The latter is too common an expression.
that no one may affirm that it wasn't told him, I tell you
all (to the AUDIENCE), in the presence of the youths in this
audience, and of all the people, to all my friends and all my
¹ My eyebrow twitches)—Ver. 107. The itching of the eye, or the twitching of
the eyebrows, has been supposed by superstitious persons in all ages to pre-
sage some impending event.
2 Set my plans a-going)-Ver. 109. "Mea si commovi sacra." Literally, "if I
move my sacred things." Lambinus thinks that this may refer to the sacred things
dedicated to Bacchus, which no one touched without being punished for it; and
even if Bacchus himself attempted to do, confusion and disorder was the conse.
quence.
3 Or with the ear)-Ver. 124. "To sleep on the ear" was a proverbial saying
borrowed by the Romans from the Greeks, to denote a sense of complete security
Pseudolus says that the proverb is too vulgar for his refined taste.
262
Act I,
PSEUDOLUS;
acquaintances I give notice, that for this day they must
guard against me, and not trust me.
CAL. Hist! be silent, prithee, by all the powers!
PSEUD. What's the matter? CAL. There was a noise at
the procurer's door.
PSEUD. I could only wish it were his legs in preference.
CAL. Yes, and he himself is coming out from in-doors, the
perjured scoundrel. (They stand at a distance.)
SCENE II.-Enter BALLIO, with several MALE¹ and FEMALE
SLAVES, from his house.
BAL. Get out, come, out with you, you rascals, kept at
a loss and bought at a loss, in the minds of not one of
whom aught ever comes to do aright, of whom I can't make
a bit of use, unless I try it after this fashion. (He flogs the
men all round.) At no time did I ever see human beings more
like asses; so hardened are your ribs with stripes; when you
flog them, you hurt yourself the most. Of such a disposition
are these whipping-posts who follow this line of conduct;
when the opportunity is given, pilfer, purloin, prig, plunder,
drink, eat, and run away's the word. This is their method,
so that you would choose rather to leave wolves among sheep,
than these fellows on guard in your house. Yet, when you
look at their appearance, they don't seem amiss; by their
doings they deceive you. Now, therefore, unless you all of
you give your attention to this charge, unless you remove
drowsiness and sloth from your breasts and eyes, I'll make
your sides to be right thoroughly marked with thongs, so
much so that not even Campanian coverlets are coloured as
well, nor yet Alexandrian tapestry of purple embroidered
with beasts all over. Even yesterday I already gave you all
notice, and assigned to each his own respective employment;
3
¹ Male) These male slaves in the text are called "lorarii." It was their pro-
vince to lay the "lorum," or whip, about their fellow-slaves, at the bidding of
their master.
2 Purloin)Ver. 138. " Clepo," to "purloin" or "prig," comes from the Greek
«λεπ™, "to steal." "Harpago," to "rob" or "plunder," is from the Greek verb
apráуw, of a similar meaning.
-J
3 Alexandrian tapestry)—Ver. 147. We learn from Pliny the Elder that the
people of Alexandria excelled in weaving tapestry of many threads, which was
caled "polymita." They excelled both the Babylonians and Phrygians in de-
pic.ing birds, beasts, and human beings, upon their productions. Campania pecna
from the present passage, to lrave been famous for its counterpanes
Se. IL
263
OR, THE CНЕАТ.
but so utterly worthless are you, so neglectful, of such stub-
born dispositions, that you compel me to put you in mind of
your duty with a basting. You are so minded. I suppose, to
get the better of this scourge and myself through the hard-
ness of your hides. Never, i' faith, will your hides prove
harder, than is this cow-hide of mine. (He dangles it before
them.) Do look at that, please; they are minding other
matters. Attend to this, and give heed to this. (He flogs
one of them.) How now? Does it pain? Ah, that's the
way it's laid on when any slave slights his master. Stand
all of you before me, you race of mortals born to be thrashed;
turn your ears this way; give attention all of you to what I
say. You fellow who are holding the pitcher, do you fetch
the water; do you take care that the cauldron's full this
instant. You, with the axe, I appoint over the wood-cutting
department.
SLAVE. But this one is blunted on the edge.
BAL. Let it be so, then. And so are you yourselves with
stripes; yet am I for that reason any the less to enjoy your
services? My orders I give to you, that the house be made
clean. You have what you are to do; make haste, and go
in-doors. (Exit FIRST SLAVE.) Be you the one that makes
the couches smooth¹. Do you wash the plate clean, and ar-
range it in order as well. Take care that when I return
from the Forum, I find things done; that all be swept,
sprinkled, scoured, made smooth, cleaned, and arranged in
order. For this day is my birthday; it befits you all to
celebrate it. Take care to lay the gammon of bacon, the
brawn, the collared neck, and the udder, in water; do you
hear me? I wish to entertain tip-top men in first-rate style,
that they may fancy that I have property. Go you in-doors,
and get these things ready quickly, that there may be
no delay when the cook comes. I'm going to market, that I
may make purchase of whatever fish is there. Boy, go you
before me; I must have a care that no one cuts away my
purse. Or wait there; there's something that I had almost
forgotten to say at home. Do you hear me, you women? I
have this charge for you-you, misses of distinction, who
spend your time with illustrious men in refinements, luxury,
A
Makes the couches smooth)-Ver. 162. It was to be his duty to prepare the
couches required for the entertainment.
264
Act I
PSEUDOLUS;
แ
and delights; now shall I know and make trial this day,
which one has regard for her liberty¹, which for her appetite
which thinks on her business, which on sleeping only: this day
I'll make trial which I must think of as a freed-woman, and
which as one to be sold. Take you care that many a present
from your lovers comes in for me this day; for if your year's
board isn't picked up for me, to-morrow I'll turn you adrift
on the public. You know that this is my birthday; where
are those youths, the apples of whose eyes you are, whose
very existence, whose delight you are? Where are your
kisses, where your bosoms sweet as honey? Make the bearers
of presents to come here then, for my sake, before this house,
in whole regiments. Why am I to find clothes for you,
gold trinkets, and those things which you need? What
have I, you jades, through your means, except vexation, you
women, eager for nothing but the wine? You are a-soaking
away yourselves and your paunches too, at the very time that
I'm here a-dry. Now, therefore, this is the best thing to
do; for me to call you each by her name, that no one of
you may be declaring to me by-and-by that her business
hasn't been told her. Give attention, all of you. In the
first place, Hedylium, my business is with you-you, who
are the favorite of the corn-merchants, men who have, all of
them, immense mountains of wheat piled up at home; take
you care that wheat is brought here for me, to suffice this
year to come for myself and all my household, and that I
may so abound in corn that the city may change my name
for me, and instead of the procurer Ballio proclaim me King
Iasion³.
1 Regard for her liberty)—Ver. 175. By "caput" he means "liberty of the
head" or "person." He will try to find out which of the women attends to
gaining as much money as will one day procure her liberation, and who, conse-
quently, is stuuying the interests of her master.
2 In whole regiments)—Ver. 181. "Manipulatim." Literally, "in whole ma-
niples." There were 120 men in each maniple of the "velites," "hastati," and
principes" of the Roman army, and 60 in each maniple of the "triarii." Four
maniples made a cohort.
3 King Iasion)—Ver. 193. Iasius, or Iasion, was a king of Arcadia, the father
of Atalanta, who attended the hunt of the Calydonian boar, and was beloved by
Meleager. There was another person of the same name, who was the lover -
Ceres, and was slain by the thunderbolts of Jove. As he was said to have been
the father, by Ceres, of Plutus, the God of Riches, he is probably the person
here referred tɔ
Sc. II.
265
OR, THE CHEAT.
CAL. (apart). Do you hear what the gallows-bird 18
saying?
Doesn't he seem
a regular boaster to you?
**
*
PSEUD. (apart). I' troth the fellow does, and a wicked
onel as well. But hush now, and give attention to this.
BAL. Æschrodora, you who have for your patrons the
outchers, those rivals of the procurers, who, just like our-
selves, by false oaths seek their gains, do you listen; unless
the three larders shall be crammed for me this day with car-
cases of ample weight, to-morrow, just as they say that for-
merly the two sons of Jupiter fastened Dirce² to the bull,
aye, this day as well, will I tie you up to the larder; that,
in fact, shall be your bull.
CAL. (apart). I'm quite enraged by the talk of this fellow;
that we should suffer the youth of Attica to encourage here³
this fellow! Where are they-where are they skulking,
they of mature age, who have their amorous dealings with
this procurer? Why don't they meet? Why don't they
one and all deliver the public from this pestilence? But I
am very simple, and very ignorant; they would venture, of
course, to do that to those, to whom their passions compel
them, to their misfortune, to be subservient, and, at the
same time, prevent them from doing that against them which
they would rather wish to do.
PSEUD. (apart). Hush! CAL. (apart). What's the matter?
PSEUD. (apart). Pshaw! you are not very obliging. Why
are you drowning his talk by your noise?
CAL. (apart). I'll be silent. PSEUD. (apart). But I'd
much rather you would be silent, than that you should say
you will be silent.
BAL. And you, Xystilis, take you care and give me your
attention-you whose fanciers have large quantities of oil at
home. If oil shall not be brought me here forthwith in leathern
¹ And a wicked one)—Ver. 195. Pseudolus plays on the resemblance of the
two words "magnificus," a boaster, and "maleficus," "wicked."
2 Fastened Dirce)—Ver. 199. Dirce was married to Lycus, the King of Thebes,
after he had divorced Antiope. On this, Zethus and Amphion, the sons of the
latter by Jupiter, caused the supplanter of their mother to be fastened to the tail of
wild bull, and put Lycus to death.
• To encourage here)—Ver. 202. As being the minister of their pleasures.
• Drowning his talk)—Ver. 208. Calidorus will keep whispering to him, whils
he is wishful to listen to what the procurer is saying.
266
Act I.
PSEUDOLUS;
bags, I'll to-morrow cause yourself to be carried off in a
leathern bag to the prostitutes' shambles¹. There a bed
shall be given you, I warrant, where you can have no rest,
but where, even to downright fainting You understand
what's the tendency of that which I'm saying? Will
Will you
tell me, you viper you, you who have so many of your fanciers
so right well laden with their oil, is now the head of any
one of your fellow-slaves a bit the better anointed by your
means, or do I, myself, get my dainty morsels a bit the
better seasoned with oil2 for it? But I understand-you
don't care much about oil; with wine you anoint yourself.
Only wait a bit; by my troth I'll punish you for all at one
spell, unless indeed this day you contrive to manage all these
things that I've been speaking of. But as for you, Pho-
nicium, I tell you this, you pet of the mighty men-you who
have been for so long a time always paying down to me your
money for your liberty-you who only know how to promise,
but don't know how to pay what you have promised; unless
this day all your keep is brought me here out of the stores
of your customers, to-morrow, Phoenicium, with a true Phoeni-
cian hide³, you'll pay a visit to the strumpets' shambles.
(The SLAVES go into the house of BALLIO.)
SCENE III.—CALIDORUS and PSEUDOLUS come forward.
BALLIO stands near his door.
CAL. Pseudolus, don't you hear what he says?
PSEUD. I hear it, master, and I give good heed.
CAL. What do you advise me to send him, that he mayn't
devote my mistress to dishonor ?
PSEUD. Don't you trouble yourself about that; be of cheer-
¹ Prostitutes' shambles)—Ver. 214. It is not exactly known what the " per-
gula" was, but it is supposed that it was a "booth" or "shed" adjoining to a
house, which was let out for persons who wished to expose their wares to the
public view. It is not improbable that in these sheds the lower class of cour-
tesans "prostabant venales," or courted the public favour. No doubt the "leno"
had one of these in his establishment, and he threatens the refractory females
with it as a punishment, as it was probably tenanted by the refractory ones, and
those whose charms had ceased to attract more wealthy customers.
2 Seasoned with oil)—Ver. 221. "Unctiusculo." The Romans used a great
deal of oil in the seasoning of their dishes.
• True Prænician hide)-Ver. 228. He puns upon her naine; as
"phoenicium,"
or 'puniceum," was the rame of the purple colour for which Tyre and Sidon, u
Phoenicia, were so famous
Sc. III.
267
OR, THE CHEAT.
ful mind. I'll manage for myself and for you.
For some
time past I've been on terms of goodwill with him, and
he with me; and our friendship is of old standing. I'll
send him this day, on his birthday, a mischief heavy and
well-matured.
CAL. What's the plan?
something else ?
CAL. But
PSEUD. Can't you attend to
PSEUD. Tut.
CAL. I'm distracted. PSEUD. Harden your heart.
CAL. I cannot. PSEUD. Make yourself to can.
CAL. By what means, pray, can I prevail upon my feel-
ings?
PSEUD. Carry you out that which is to your advantage,
rather than give heed with your feelings to the thing that's
disadvantageous.
CAL. That's nonsense; there is no pleasure, unless a lover
acts like a fool.
PSEUD. Do you persist? CAL. O my dear Pseudolus,
let me be undone-do let me, please.
PSEUD. I'll let you; only let me go. (Going.)
CAL. Stay, stay. As you shall, then, wish me to be, so
will I be.
PSEUD. Now, at last, you are in your senses.
BAL. (coming forward from the door of his house to the
other side of the stage). The day is passing; I'm causing
delay to myself. Boy, do you go before me. (Moves as if
going.)
CAL. Hallo there! he's going; why don't you call him
back ?
PSEUD. Why in such a hurry? Gently.
CAL. But before he's gone.
BAL. Why the plague do you go so slowly, boy?
PSEUD. You born on this day, hallo! you born on this
day; I'm calling to you; hallo! you born on this day, come
you back and look at us. Although you are busy, we want
you; stop-it's because some persons want to speak to you.
BAL. What's this? Who is it, when I'm busy, causes me
unseasonable delay ?
PSEUD. He that has been your supporter.
BAL. He's dead that has been; only he that is, is nou
alive.
268
Act I.
PSEUDOLUS;
PSEUD. You are too saucy. BAL. You are too trouble-
some. (Turns away to go on.)
CAL. Seize the fellow: follow him up.
BAL. Go on, boy. PSEUD. Let's go and meet him this
way. (They run and stand before him.)
BAL. May Jupiter confound you, whoever you are.
PSEUD. That for yourself I wish. BAL. And for both of you
do I. Turn you this way, boy. (Takes another direction.)
PSEUD. May we not speak with you?
BAL. Why, it doesn't please me.
PSEUD. But if it's something to your advantage?
BAL. Am I allowed to go away, pray, or am I not?
PSEUD. Pshaw! Stop. (Catches hold of him.) BAL. Let
ne go.
CAL. Ballio, listen. BAL. I'm deaf.
CAL. Really, you are uncivil. BAL. You are a chatterer
of nonsense.
CAL. I gave you money so long as I had it.
BAL. I'm not asking what you gave.
CAL. I'll give you some when I have it.
BAL. When you have it, bring it to me¹.
CAL. Alas, alas! In what a foolish fashion have I lavished
what I brought to you, and what I gave you.
BAL. Your wealth defunct, you now are talking about it;
you are a simpleton, a cause that has been tried you are
trying over again.
PSEUD. At least consider him, who he is.
BAL. I've known for a long time now who he was; who
he now is, let him know himself. Do you walk on (to
the Boy).
PSEUD. And can't you, Ballio, only once give a look this
way for your own profit?
BAL. At that price I'll give a look; for if I were sacri-
ficing to supreme Jupiter, and were presenting the entrails in
my hands to lay them on the altar, if in the meanwhile any-
แ
■ Bring it to me)-Ver. 258. "Ducito." This word may either mean bring"
the money when you have got it, or "take away" Phoenicium when you bring the
inoney. The former seems the most probable meaning.
2 And were presenting)-Ver. 266. "Porricio" was the word especiaily em-
ployed to signify the act of laying the entrails on the altar, for the purpose of
burning them.
Sc. III.
269
OR, THE CHEAT.
thing in the way of profit were offered, I should in preference
forsake the sacrifice. There's no being able to resist that
sort of piety, however other things go.
PSEUD. (aside). The very Gods, whom it is especially our
duty to reverence-them he esteems of little value.
BAL. I'll speak to him. Hail to you, right heartily, the
very vilest slave in Athens.
PSEUD. May the Gods and Goddesses favour you, Ballio,
both at his wish and at my own; or, if you are deserving of
other terms, let them neither favour nor bless you.
BAL. What's the matter, Calidorus ?
CAL. Love and pinching want¹ are the matter.
BAL. I would pity you, if, upon pity I could support my
establishment.
PSEUD. Aye, aye, we know you quite well, what sort of
character you are; don't be proclaiming it. But do you
know what we want?
BAL. I' faith, I know it pretty nearly; that there may be
something unfortunate for me.
PSEUD. Both to that and this for which we called you back,
prithee do give your attention.
BAL. I am attending; but compress into a few words what
you want, as I'm busy now.
PSEUD. He (pointing to CALIDORUS) is quite ashamed
about what he promised you, and the day for which he pro-
mised it, that he hasn't even yet paid you those twenty minæ
for his mistress.
BAL. That which we are ashamed at is much more easily
endured than that which we are vexed at. At not having
paid the money, he is ashamed; I, because I have not received
it, am vexed.
PSEUD. Still, he'll pay it, he'll procure it; do you only
wait some days to come. But he has been afraid of this, that
you'll sell her on account of his embarrassment.
BAL. He had an opportunity, had he wished, of paying the
money long ago.
CAL. What if I had it not? BAL. If you had been in
love, you would have found it on loan. You would have
Love and pinching want) — Ver. 273. "Amatur atque egetur acriter.
Literally, "its loved, and is wanted sharply."
27C
Act I.
PSEUDOLUS;
gone to the usurer¹; you would have paid the interest; or
else you would have pilfered it from your father.
PSEUD. Ought he to have pilfered it from his father, you
most shameless villain? There is no fear that you'll point
out to him anything that's right.
BAL. That's not like a procurer. CAL. And could I pos-
sibly pilfer anything from my father, an old man so much on
his guard? And besides, if I could do so, filial affection
forbids.
BAL. I understand you; do you then at night embrace
filial affection in place of Phoenicium. But since I see you
prefer your filial affection to your love-are all men your
fathers? Is there no one for you to ask to lend you some
money?
CAL. Why, the very name of lending's dead and gone by
this.
PSEUD. Look you now; since, i' faith, those fellows arose
from the banker's table, with a filled skin, who, when they
called in their own, paid what they had borrowed to no born
creature, since then, I say, all people have been more cautious
not to trust another.
CAL. Most wretched am I; nowhere am I able to find a
coin of silver; so distractedly am I perishing both through
love and want of money.
BAL. Buy oil on credits, and sell it for ready money; then,
i' faith, even two hundred minæ ready money might be raised.
CAL. There I'm done; the twenty-five year old law*
founders me. All are afraid to trust me.
1
To the usurer)-Ver. 287. "Danista
asurer.'
""
t
from the Greek δανίστης, “ an
2 Since, i faith)-Ver. 296. He alludes f.obably to the recent fraudulent
failure of some well-known bankers.
3 Buy oil on credit)-Ver. 301. "Emito die cæca-id vendito oculatâ die."
By buying a commodity "on a blind day," and selling it "on one with eyes," is
meant the system of credit for the purposes of business; where they who purchase
on that principle have an eye only to the present time, but are blind as to the
future consequences of their speculation. The intencion of the procurer is to ad-
vise the young man to get oil on credit, and then sell it for anything it will fetch.
• The twenty-five year old law)-Ver. 303. The Quinavicenarian, which was.
also called the Lætorian Law, forbade credit to be given to persons under the age
of twenty-five years, and deprived the creditor of all right to recover his money
or goods. As usual, Plautus does not scruple to refer to Roman customs, though
the scene is at Athens.
Sc. III.
271
OR, THE CHE IT.
BAL. The same law¹ have I. I'm afraid to trust you.
PSEUD. To trust him, indeed! How now, do you repent
of the great profit he has been to you?
BAL. No lover is a profitable one, except him who keeps
continually making presents. Either let him be always giving,
or when he has nothing, let him at the same time cease to be
in love.
CAL. And don't you pity me at all?
BAL. You come empty-handed; words don't chink. But
I wish you life and health.
PSEUD. Heyday! Is he dead already?
BAL. However he is, to me indeed, at all events, with
these speeches, he is dead. Then, does a lover really live,
when he comes begging to a procurer? Do you always come
to me with a complaint that brings its money. As for that,
which you are now lamenting about, that you have got no
money, complain of it to your stepmother³.
PSEUD. Why, have you ever been married to his father,
pray?
BAL. May the Gods grant better things.
PSEUD. Do what we ask you, Ballio, on my credit, if you
are afraid to trust him. Within the next three days, from
some quarter, in some way, either by land or sea, I'll rout up
this money for you.
BAL. I, trust you?
PSEUD. Why not?
BAL. Because, i' faith, on the same principle that I trust
you, on that principle I should tie a run-away dog to a
lamb's fry.
CAL. Is the obligation thus ungratefully returned by you.
to me, who have deserved so well of you?
BAL. What do you want now? CAL. That
CAL. That you will only
wait these six days of the Feast, and will not sell her or prove
the death of the person who loves her.
1 The same law)-Ver. 304. By using the word "lex," he probably means that
the law also applies to him, as it forbids him to give credit; or he may simply
mean that it is is rule and custom not to give credit.
2 Complaint that brings)—Ver. 312. "Cum argentatâ querimonia." Lite-
rally, "with a silvery complaint." He probably alludes to the chinking of silver.
3 To your stepmother)—Ver. 314. Stepmothers, in ancient times, were pro-
verbially notorious for their unfeeling conduct to their step-children. Ballio
ironically tells him to go and look for sympathy from his stepmother, on which
Pseudolus retorts by implying that Ballio is as unfeeling as any stepmother can be.
272
Act L
PSEUDOLUS;
BAL. Be of good courage; I'll wait six months even.
CAL. Capital-most delightful man!
BAL. Aye; and do you wish, too, that from joyful 1
should make you even more joyous ?
CAL. How so? BAL. Why, because I've got no Pho-
nicium to sell.
CAL. Not got her? BAL. I' faith, not I, indeed.
CAL. Pseudolus, go fetch the sacrifice, the victims, the
sacrificers¹, that I may make offering to this supreme Jove.
For this Jupiter is now much more mighty to me than is
Jupiter himself.
BAL. I want no victims; with the entrails of minæ² I
wish to be appeased.
CAL. (to PSEUDOLUS). Make haste. Why do you hesitate?
Go fetch the lambs; do you hear what Jupiter says?
PSEUD. I'll be here this moment; but first I must run
as far as beyond the gate³.
CAL. Why thither?
PSEUD. I'll fetch two sacrificers
thence, with their bells; at the same time I'll fetch thence
two bundles of elm twigs, that this day a sufficiency may be
provided for the sacrifice to this Jove.
BAL. Away to utter perdition¹.
PSEUD. Thither shall the pimping Jupiter go.
BAL. It isn't for your interest that I should die.
PSEUD. How so? BAL. This way; because, if I'm dead,
1 The sacrificers)-Ver. 327. "Lanios." Literally, "butchers." These were
The "
popæ," or servants of the priests, who slaughtered the cattle which were
offered in sacrifice.
2 Entrails of mina)—Ver. 329. "Mininis extis." He intends a pun by the
use of the word "mininis." Mina," as has been already observed, meant a
kind of sheep without wool on its belly, and also the sum of money composed of
a hundred drachmæ. He does not want victims, he wants the entrails of the
money for his propitiation.
³ Beyond the gate)-Ver. 331. The Metian Gate at Rome is supposed to be
here referred to, where the butchers kept their slaughter-houses, and where the
"lanii" were likely to be found. It is not improbable that the priests and sacri-
ficers wore bells on their dress, to which reference is probably made in the next
line. Perhaps they were employed for the purpose of drowning the cries of the
victims. The ephod of the Jewish high priest was adorned with bells.
To utter perdition)—Ver. 335. "In malam crucem." Literally, " go to
the dreadful cross," which answers to our expression, "go to perdition;” or, in
unpolite parlance, "go to the devil." It alludes to the cross, as the instrument
of punishment for slaves and malefactors of the lower order.
S III.
273
OR, THE CHEAT.
there will be no one worse than yourself in Athens. For
your interest (to CALIDORUS) it is that I should die.
CAL. How so? BAL. I'll tell you; because, i' faith, so
long as I shall be alive, you'll never be a man well to do.
CAL. Troth now, prithee, in serious truth, tell me this that
I ask you-have you not got my mistress, Phoenicium, on sale?
BAL. By my faith, I really have not; for I've now sold
her already.
CAL. In what way? BAL. Without her trappings, with
all her inwards¹.
CAL. What? Have you sold my mistress?
BAL. Decidedly; for twenty minæ. CAL. For twenty mina?
BAL. Or, in other words, for four times five minæ, which-
ever you please, to a Macedonian Captain; and I've already
got fifteen of the mine at home.
CAL. What is it that I hear of you ?
BAL. That your mistress has been turned into money.
CAL. Why did you dare to do so?
BAL. 'Twas my pleasure; she was my own.
CAL. Hallo! Pseudolus. Run, fetch me a sword.
PSEUD. What need is there of a sword?
CAL. With which to kill this fellow this instant, and then
myself.
PSEUD. But why not kill yourself only rather? For famine
will soon be killing him.
CAL. What do you say, most perjured of men as many as
are living upon the earth? Did you not take an oath that
you would sell her to no person besides myself?
BAL. I confess it. CAL. In solemn form2, to wit.
BAL. Aye, and well considered too. CAL. You have proved
perjured, you villain.
BAL. I sacked the money at home, however. Villain as
I am, I am now able to draw upon a stock of silver in my
1 With all her inwards)-Ver. 343. "Cum intestinis omnibus." By this
unfeeling expression, the fellow means, "stark naked," just as she stands.
However, we will do him the justice to suppose that when, in the sequel,
she is led away by Simmia, a "toga" is thrown over her for decency's
Jake.
• In solemn form)-Ver. 353. To take an oath in solemn form, or, "conceptis
verbis," was when the oath was repeated by another person, and the party swear-
ing him followed in his words. The Roman formula for swearing was
animi mei sententiâ juro."
n
“Ez
274
Act L
PSEUDOLUS;
house; whereas you who are so dutiful, and born of that
grand family, haven't a single coin.
CAL. Pseudolus, stand by him on the other side and load
this fellow with imprecations.
PSEUD. Very well. Never would I run to the Prætorl
with equal speed that I might be made free.
other side of BALL10.)
CAL. Heap on him a multitude of curses.
(Stands on the
PSEUD. Now will I publish you with my rebukes. Thou
lackshame!
BAL. 'Tis the fact. PSEUD. Villain!
BAL. You say the truth.
PSEUD. Whipping-post!
BAL. Why not? PSEUD. Robber of tombs!
BAL. No doubt.
PSEUD.
Gallows-bird!
BAL. Very well done. PSEUD. Cheater of your friends!
BAL. That's in my way. PSEUD. Parricide!
BAL. Proceed, you. CAL. Committer of sacrilege!
BAL. I own it. CAL. Perjurer!
BAL. You're telling nothing new2. CAL. Lawbreaker!
BAL. Very much so. PSEUD. Pest of youth!
BAL. Most severely said. CAL. Thief!
BAL. Oh! wonderful! PSEUD. Vagabond!
BAL. Pooh! pooh! CAL. Defrauder of the public!
BAL. Most decidedly so. PSEUD. Cheating scoundrel!
CAL. Filthy pander! PSEUD. Lump of filth!
BAL. A capital chorus. CAL. You beat your father and
.nother.
BAL. Aye, and killed them, too, rather than find them
food; did I do wrong at all?
PSEUD. We are pouring our words into a pierced cask*:
we are losing our pains.
¹ Run to the Prætor)—Ver. 358. The "Prætor" was the public officer at Rome
who liberated slaves at the request of their owners. The ceremony was per-
formed by his lictor laying a rod called "vindicta" on the head of the person
manumitted.
2 Telling nothing new)—Ver. 363. He means that Calidorus has called him
that already; which he has done in the 354th line.
³ Pooh ! pooh!)—Ver. 364. "Bombax." This is a Greek word, an expression
of contempt.
▲ Into a pierced cask)—Ver. 369. This notion is probably taken from the
punishment of the daughters of Danaus, who, for the murder of their husbands,
the sons of Ægyptus, were doomed by Jupiter to pass their time in the Inferna
regions in gathering up water in perforated vessels.
Sc. III.
275
OR, THE CHEAT.
BAL. Would you like to call me anything else besides ?
CAL. Is there anything that shames you?
BAL. Yes; that you have been found to be a lover as empty
as a rotten nut. But although you have used towards me
expressions many and harsh, unless the Captain shall bring
me this day the five mine that he owes me, as this was the
last day appointed for the payment of that money, if he doesn't
bring it, I think that I am able to do my duty.
CAL. What is that duty? BAL. If you bring the money,
I'll break faith with him; that's my duty. If it were more
worth my while, I would talk further with you. But, with-
out a coin of money, 'tis in vain that you request me to
have pity upon you. Such is my determination; but do
you, from this, consider what you have henceforth to do?
(Moves.)
CAL. Are you going then? BAL. At present I am full of
business.
(Exit.
PSEUD Before long you'll be more so.
That man is my
own, unless all Gods and men forsake me. I'll bone him just
in the same fashion that a cook does a lamprey¹. Now,
Calidorus, I wish you to give me your attention.
CAL. What do you bid me do?
PSEUD. I wish to lay siege to this town, that this day it
may be taken. For that purpose, I have need of an artful,
clever, knowing, and crafty fellow, who may despatch out of
hand what he is ordered, not one to go to sleep upon his watch.
CAL. Tell me, then, what you are going to do?
PSEUD. In good time I'll let you know. I don't care for it
to be repeated twice; stories are made too long that way.
CAL. You plead what's very fair and very just.
PSEUD. Make haste; bring the fellow hither quickly.
CAL. Out of many, there are but few friends that are to be
depended upon by a person.
PSEUD. I know that; therefore, get for yourself now a
choice of both, and seek out of these many one that can be
depended upon.
CAL. I'll have him here this instant.
PSEUD. Can't you be off then? You create delay for
yourself by your talking.
(Exit CALIDOrus.
1 Cook does a lamprey)—Ver. 382. The "muræna," or "lamprey," was a dish
highly valued by the Romans.
М
2
276
Act 1.
PSEUDOLUS;
SCENE IV.—PSEUDOLUS, alone.
*
*
*
PSEUD. Since he has gone hence, you are now standing
alone, Pseudolus. What are you to do now, after you have so
largely promised costly delights to your master's son by your
speeches? You, for whom not even one drop of sure counsel is
ready, nor yet of silver
* nor have
you where first you must begin your undertaking, nor yet fixed
limits for finishing off your web. But just as the poet, when
he has taken up his tablets, seeks what nowhere in the world
exists, and still finds it, and makes that like truth which really
is a fiction; now I'll become a poet; twenty minæ, which no-
where in the world are now existing, still will I find. And
some time since had I said that I would find them for him, and
I had attempted to throw a net over our old gentleman; how-
ever, by what ineans I know not, he perceived it beforehand.
But my voice and my talking must be stopped; for, see! 1
perceive my master, Simo, coming this way, together with
his neighbour, Callipho. Out of this old sepulchre will I dig
twenty minæ this day, to give them to my master's son.
Now I'll step aside here, that I may pick up their conver-
sation. (He stands apart.)
SCENE V. Enter SIMO and CALLIPHO.
SIMO. If now a Dictator¹ were to be appointed at Athens
of Attica out of the spendthrifts or out of the gallants,
I do think that no one would surpass my son. For now the
only talk of all throughout the city is to the effect that he
is trying to set his mistress free, and is seeking after money
for that purpose. Some people bring me word of this; and,
in fact, I had long ago perceived it, and had suspected it,
but I dissembled on it.
PSEUD. (apart). Already is his son suspected by him; this
affair is nipt in the bud, this business is at a stand-still. The
way is now entirely blocked up against me, by which I had
intended to go a-foraging for the money. IIe has perceived it
beforehand. There's no booty for the marauders.
1
¹ If now a Dictator)—Ver. 416. Though the scene is at Athens, Plautus here
makes reference to Roman customs. The Dictator was the inghest officer in the
Roman Republic, and was only elected upon emergencies.
Sc. V.
277
OR, THE CHEAT.
CALL. Those men who carry about and who listen to accu-
sations, should all be hanged, if so it could be at my decision,
the carriers by their tongues, the listeners by their ears.
For these things that are told you, that your son in his
amour is desirous to chouse you out of money, the chance is
that these things so told you are all lies. But suppose they
are true, as habits are, now-a-days especially, what has he
done so surprising? What new thing, if a young man does
love, and if he does liberate his mistress ?
PSEUD. (apart). A delightful old gentleman.
SIMO. I don't wish him to follow the old-fashioned
habits¹.
CALL. But still, in vain do you object; or you yourself
shouldn't have done the like in your youthful days. It
befits the father to be immaculate, who wishes his son to be
more immaculate than he has been himself. But the mis-
chief and the profligacy you were guilty of might have been
distributed throughout the whole population, a share for each
man. Are you surprised at it, if the son does take after the
father ?
PSEUD. (apart). O Zeus, Zeus?! how few in number are
you considerate men. See, that's being a father to a son,
just as is proper.
SIMO. Who is it that's speaking here? (Looking round.)
Why, surely 'tis my servant Pseudolus. 'Tis he corrupts my
son, the wicked scoundrel; he is his leader, he his tutor. I
long for him to be put to extreme torture.
CALL. This is folly now, thus to keep your anger in
readiness. How much better were it to accost him with kind
words and to make all enquiries, whether these things are
true or not that they tell you of?
SIMO. I'll take your advice. PSEUD. (apart). They are
making towards you, Pseudolus; prepare your speech to
meet the old fellow. Good courage in a bad case is half
1 The old-fashioned habits)-Ver. 436. "Vetus nolo faciat." Literally, I
do not wish him to do what is old-fashioned." He alludes to the old-fashioned
trick of falling into love, and running into extravagance.
2 0 Zeus, Zeus!)—Ver. 443. 'N Zeû, Zev. Zeus was the Greek name of
Jupiter, whose Latin title was formed from "Zeus pater," "Father Zeus." The
use of it in Latin colloquy exactly corresponds with the irreverent French phoneE
too much in use with us, "O mon Dieu !"
278
Act 1.
PSEUDOLUS ;
the evil got over. (Aloud, as he advances to meet them.)
First, I salute my master, as is proper; and after that, if any-
thing is left, that I bestow upon his neighbour.
SIMO. Good day to you. What are you about ?
PSEUD. About standing here in this fashion (assuming an
attitude).
SIMO. See the attitude of the fellow, Callipho; how like
that of a man of rank.
CALL. I consider that he is standing properly and with
boldness.
PSEUD. It befits a servant innocent and guileless, as he
is, to be bold, most especially before his master.
CALL. There are some things about which we wish to
inquire of you, which we ourselves know and have heard of
as though through a cloud of mist.
SIMO. He'll manage you now with his speeches, so that
you shall think it isn't Pseudolus but Socrates¹ that's talking
What do you say?
to you.
PSEUD. For a long time you have held me in contempt,
I know. I see that you have but little confidence in me.
You wish me to be a villain; still, I will be of strict honesty.
SIMO. Take care, please, and make the recesses of your
ears free, Pseudolus, that my words may be enabled to enter
where I desire.
PSEUD. Come, say anything you please, although I am
angry at you.
SIMO. What, you, a slave, angry at me your master ?
PSEUD. And does that seem wonderful to you?
SIMO. Why, by my troth, according to what you say, I
must be on my guard against you in your anger, and you
are thinking of beating me in no other way than I am wont
to beat yourself. What do you think? (To CALLIPHO.)
CALL. I' faith, I think that he's angry with good reason,
since you have so little confidence in him.
SIMO. I'll leave him alone then. Let him be angry: I'll
take care that he shall do me no harm. But what do you
say ? What as to that which I was asking you?
PSEUD. If you want anything, ask me. What I know,
do you consider given you as a response at Delphi.
But Socrates)-Ver. 165. The most learned at d virtuous of all the philoso
phers of ancien times.
Sc. V.
279
OR, THE CHEAT.
SIMO. Give your attention then, and take care and please
mind your promise. What do you say? Do you know that
my son is in love with a certain music-girl?
PSEUD. Yea, verily¹. SIMO. Whom he is trying to make
free?
PSEUD. Yea, verily and indeed.
SIMO. And you are
scheming by cajolery and by cunning tricks to get twenty
minæ in ready money out of me ?
PSEUD. I, get them out of you?
SIMO. Just so; to give them to my son, with which to
liberate his mistress. Do you confess it? Speak out.
PSEUD. Yea, verily; yea, verily.
SIMO. He confesses it.
Didn't I tell you so just now, Callipho?
CALL. So I remember. SIMO. Why, directly you knew of
these things, were they kept concealed from me? Why
wasn't I made acquainted with them ?
PSEUD. I'll tell you: because I was unwilling that a bad
custom should originate in me, for a servant to accuse his
master before his master.
SIMO. Wouldn't you order this fellow to be dragged
head first to the treadmill2 ?
CALL. Has he done anything amiss, Simo?
SIMO. Yes, very much so. PSEUD. (to CALLIPHO). Be
quiet, I quite well understand my own affairs, Callipho. Is
this a fault? Now then, give your attention to the reason
why I you kept ignorant of this amour. I knew that the
treadmill was close at hand, if I told you.
SIMO. And didn't you know, as well, that the treadmill
would be close at hand when you kept silent on it?
PSEUD. I did know it.
me ?
SIMO. Why wasn't it told
¹ Yea, verily)—Ver. 483. Naì yáp. This and the two following remarks of
Pseudolus are in Greek. The Romans affected curtness of repartee in Greek, in
much the same manner as we do in French. A cant tone has been attempted in
the translation to be given to the remarks so made by Pseudolus.
2 To the treadmill)-Ver. 494. Pistrinum." The establishment of each
wealthy person had its ((
pistrinum," or "handmill," where the mill for grinding
corn was worked by the hand of slaves. The most worthless and refractory
were employed at this labour, and as the task was deemed a degradation, the
แ pistrinum" was the usual place of punishment for the slaves of the household.
Throughout this translation, the liberty has been in general taken of conveying
the meaning of the term by the use of the word "treadmill."
280
Act I.
PSEUDOLUS;
PSEUD. The one evil was close at hand, the other at a
greater distance; the one was at the moment, the other was
a few days off.
SIMO. What will you be doing now? For assuredly the
money cannot be got in this quarter out of me, who have
especially detected it. I shall forthwith give notice to all
that no one is to trust him the money.
PSEUD. I' faith, I'll never go begging to any person, so
long, at all events, as you shall be alive; troth, you shall find
me the money; and as for me, I shall take it from you.
SIMO. You, take it from me? PSEUD. Undoubtedly.
SIMO. Troth, now, knock out my eye, if I do find it.
PSEUD. You shall provide it. I warn you then to be on
your guard against me.
SIMO. By my troth, I know this for sure; if you do take it
away, you will have done a wonderful and a great exploit.
PSEUD. I will do it, however. SIMO. But if you don't
carry it off?
PSEUD. Then flog me with rods. But what if I do carry
it off?
SIMO. I give you Jupiter as your witness, that you shall
pass your life free from punishment.
PSEUD. Take care and remember that. SIMO. Could 1
possibly be unable to be on my guard, who am forewarned?
PSEUD. I forewarn you to be on your guard. I say you
must be on your guard, I tell you. Keep watch. Look, now,
with those same hands will you this day give me the money
SIMO. By my troth, 'tis a clever mortal if he keeps his
word.
PSEUD. Carry me away to be your slave if I don't do it.
SIMO. You speak kindly and obligingly; for at present you
are not mine, I suppose.
PSEUD. Would you like me to tell you, too, what you will
still more wonder at ?
SIMO. Come, then; i' faith, I long to hear it; I listen to
you with pleasure.
PSEUD. Before I fight that battle, I shall first fight another
battle, famous and memorable.
SIMO. What battle? PSEUD. Why, with the procurer
your neighbour; by means of stratagem and artful tricks, I'll
cleverly bamboozle the procurer out of this music-girl, with
Sc. V.
261
OR, THE CHEAT.
whom your son is so desperately in love; and I surely will
nave both of these things effected this very day, before the
evening.
SIMO. Well, if you accomplish these tasks as you say, you
will surpass in might King Agathocles¹. But if you don't do
it, is there any reason why I shouldn't forthwith put you in
the treadmill ?
PSEUD. Not for one day, but, i' faith, for all, whatever the
time. But if I effect it, will you not at once give me the
money of your own free will for me to pay to the procurer ?
CALL. Pseudolus is making a fair claim; say "I'll give it.'
SIMO. But still, do you know what comes into my mind?
Suppose they have made an arrangement, Callipho, among
themselves, or are acting in concert, and on a preconcerted
plan, to bamboozle me out of the money?
PSEUD. Who would be more audacious than myself, if I
dared to do such an action? Well, Simo, if we are thus in
collusion, or have ever arranged any plan, do you mark me
quite all over with elm-tree stripes2, just as when letters are
written in a book with a reed.
SIMO. Now then, proclaim the games as soon as you
please.
PSEUD. Give me your attention, Callipho, I beg you, for
this day, so that you may not any way employ yourself upon
other business.
CALL. Why, now, I had made up my mind yesterday to go
into the country.
PSEUD. Still, do you now change the plan which you har
resolved upon.
CALL. I am now resolved not to go away on account of
this; I have an inclination to be a spectator of your games,
Pseudolus; and if I shall find that he doesn't give you the
money which he has promised, rather than it shouldn't be
done, I'll give it.
King Agathocles) Ver. 32. Agathocles was famous for having risen, by
bis valour and merit, from being the son of a potter to be the King of Sicily.
2 With elm-tree stripes)-Ver. 545. "Stylis ulmeis," "with elm-tree styli."
He alludes to the weals produced by flogging with elm-tree rods, which, being
long and fine, would semble the iron "stylus" used for writing upon wa5
tablets.
282
Act II.
PSEUDOLUS
SIMO. I shall not change my purpose.
PSEUD. Because, by my faith, if you don't give it, you shall
be dunned for it with clamour great and plenteous. Come,
now, move yourselves off hence into the house this instant,
and in turn give room for my tricks.
I'll be back nere
SIMO. Be it so. CALL. You may have your way.
PSEUD. But I want you to keep close at home.
SIMO. Well, that assistance I promise you.
CALL. But I shall be off to the Forum.
presently. (Exit CALLIPHO. SIMO goes into his house.)
PSEUD. Be back directly. (To the AUDIENCE.) I have a
suspicion, now, that you are suspecting that I have been pro-
mising these so great exploits to these persons for the pur-
pose of amusing you, while I am acting this play, and that I
shall not do that which I said I will do. I will not change
my design; so far as that then I know for certain; by what
means I'm to carry it out not at all do I know as yet; only
this, that so it shall be. For he that appears upon the stage
in a new character, him it befits to bring something that is
new. If he cannot do that, let him give place to him who can.
I am inclined to go hence into the house for some little time,
while I summon together¹ all my stratagems in my mind.
Meanwhile this piper shall entertain you. (Goes into the
house of SIMO, and the PIPER strikes up a tune.)
ACT II.-SCENE I.
Enter PSEUDOLUS, from the house of SIMO.
PSEUD. O Jupiter, whatever I undertake, how cleverly
and how fortunately does it befal me. Not any plan is there
stored up in my breast that I can hesitate upon or be afraid
of. But it is folly to entrust a bold exploit to a timorous
heart; for all things are just as you make them, so as you
make them of importance. Now in my breast have I already
so prepared my forces-double, aye, threefold stratagems, that
when I engage with the enemy, relying upon the merits, I
1 While I summon together)-Ver. 572. "Dum concenturio." This word
Literally means, "to collect together the centuries," or "comparies of a hundred
men," for the purpose of giving their votes.
Sc. 11
283
OR, THE CHEAT.
say, of my forefathers, and on my own industry and tricking
propensity for mischief, I may easily conquer, and easily spoil
my antagonists by my contrivances. Now will I adroitly batter
down this Balliol, the cominon foe of me and all of you; only
lend me your attention. Now will I forthwith draw out my
legions against this old town. If I take it, I shall make it a
pleasant matter for the citizens: I'll load and fill myself, and
my allies as well, with booty from it. I shall strike terror and
fright into my enemies, so that they may know of what race
I was born. Great exploits it befits me to perform, which
long after may bespeak fame for me. But whom do I see
here? Who's this low fellow that's presented before my
eyes? I should like to know why he's come here with his
sword: I' troth, now then I'll lie here in ambush for him,
to see the business that he's about. (Retires to a distance.`
SCENE II. Enter HARPAX, with a bag in his hand.
*
*
*
*
*
HAR. This is the place, and this the spot, which was
pointed out to me by my master, according as 1 form a
judgment from my eyesight. For my master, the Captain,
told me to this effect, that the house was the seventh from
the gate, in which lives the person to whom he requested me
to carry the token and this silver
I could vastly wish that some one would inform me where
this Ballio, the procurer, lives. (Looks from side to side.)
PSEUD. (apart). Hist! Silence! This man is mine, unless
all Gods and men forsake me. Now have I need of a
new plan; this new scheme is suddenly presented to me.
This I prefer to my former one; that I shall dismiss, which,
before, I had commenced to carry into effect. By my troth,
I'll then work this military messenger that's just arrived.
HAR. I'll knock at the door, and call some one out of
doors from within. (Goes towards the door of BALLIO's
house.)
PSEUD. (coming up to him). Whoever you are, I wish you
to spare your knocking; for I've just come out of doors,
I, the spokesman and the defender of the door.
He play
¹ Batter down this Ballio)-Ver. 585. "Ballionem exbalistabo.'
upon the resemblance of the name of Ballio to the "balista," or "engine of war.'
284
Act II.
FSEUDOLUS;
HAR. Are you Ballio? PSEUD. Why, no; but I'm the
deputy-Ballio¹.
HAR. What means that expression?
butler-steward2; the caterer for his larder.
PSEUD. I'm his
HAR. As though you were to say, you are his chamber-
lain³.
PSEUD. No; I'm above his chamberlain.
HAR. What are you, slave or free man?
PSEUD. Why, at present, I'm still a slave.
HAR. So you seem to be; and you don't look to be one
worthy to be free.
PSEUD. Ain't you in the habit of looking at yourself when
you abuse another person?
HAR. (aside). This must be a roguish fellow.
PSEUD. (aside). The Gods protect and favour me! for this
is my anvil: this day will I hammer out thence full many a
device.
HAR. Why is he talking to himself alone?
PSEUD. How say you, young man▬▬ ?
HAR. What is it? PSEUD. Are you, or are you not,
from that Captain of Macedonia ? The servant of him, 1
mean, who bought a damsel of us here, who gave fifteen
silver mine to the procurer, my master, and is still owing
five ?
HAR. I am. But where in the world have you ever
known me, or have ever seen or spoken to me? For in
fact, before this day, I never was at Athens, nor did I ever
before this day behold you with my eyes
*
*
*
*
**
X
***
*
**
PSEUD. Because you seem likely to be from him; for at
the time when he went away, this was the day appointed
for the money, on which he was to pay it to us, and he has
not brought it as yet.
¹ The deputy-Ballio)-Ver. 607. In the Latin "subballio."
• His butler-steward)—Ver. 608. "Condus-promus" was the title given to the
slave who had charge of the "storerooms," or "cellæ," in the Roman establish-
ments. The office answered to those of our housekeeper and butler combined.
³ Ilis chamberlain)—Ver. 609. "Atriensis" was the title of the slave in
whose charge was the "atrium," or large hall, or central room on the ground
flocr.
Sc. II.
285
OR, THE CHEAT.
HAR. Yes, here it is. (Holding up the bag.)
PSEUD. What?-have you brought it?
HAR. I, myself. PSEUD. Do you at all hesitate to givo
it me ?
HAR. I, give it you?
PSEUD. Aye, faith, to me, who manage the business and
the accounts of my master Ballio, receive his money, and pay
it to him to whom he owes it.
HAR. By my troth, if you were even the keeper of the
treasures of supreme Jove, I would never entrust a groat
of silver to you.
PSEUD. (pointing). While you've been making yourself so
big, the money has become loose¹.
HAR. I'll keep it the rather tied up - this way. (Ties
the mouth of the bag.)
PSEUD. Woe to you! You indeed have been found to
doubt my honor. As though innumerable times as much
are not in the habit of being entrusted to me alone.
HAR. It's possible that others may think so, and that I
mayn't trust you.
PSEUD. As though you meant to say that I wished to
chouse out of the money.
you
HAR. Why, yes; as though you meant to say so; and as
though I, on the other hand, meant to suspect it. But what's
your name?
PSEUD. (aside). This procurer has a servant of the name
of Syrus; I'll say that I am he. I am Syrus.
HAR. Syrus ? PSEUD. That's my name.
HAR. We are making many words. If your master's at
home, why don't you call him out, that I may transact that
for which I was sent here, whatever be your name?
PSEUD. If he were within I would call him out. But if
you choose to give it me, it will be more truly paid than if
you were to give it to himself.
HAR. But now do you know how it is? My master has
sent me to pay this, not to lose it. But I know, to a cer-
tainty, that you are in a fever now, because you cannot lay
las become loose)-Ver. 629. This passage is of obscure meaning; very pos-
cibly, however, while Harpax has been vapouring, the mouth of the bag con caining
the money has become loose, to which Pseudolus draws his attention,
286
Act II
PSEUDOLUS;
your claws upon it. I shall entrust the money to no person
except to Ballio himself.
PSEUD. But at present he's full of business: a cause of
his is being tried before the judge.
HAR. May the Gods prosper it! And I, when I shall
think that he's at home, will come again. Do you take this
letter from me, and give it him: for in it is the token
agreed upon between your master and mine about the
damsel.
PSEUD. For my part, I understand it; the person who
should bring the money and the impress of his likeness
hither to us, with him he said he wished the damsel to be
sent; for he left a specimen of it here as well.
HAR. You understand the whole affair?
PSEUD. Why should I not understand it?
HAR. Give him this token then. (Gives the letter and token.)
PSEUD. Very well. But what's your name?
HAR. Harpаx. PSEUD. Get along with you, Harpax, I
like you not. By my troth, you really shan't enter this
house, lest you should be doing something in the harpy line¹.
HAR. I am wont to carry off my enemies alive from the
battle-field; from that circumstance is my name.
PSEUD. I' faith, I think that you are much more likely to
carry off the brass pots from a house.
HAR. Such is not the fact. But, Syrus, do you know
what I request of you?
PSEUD. I shall know, if you tell me.
HAR. I shall put up outside of the gate here, at the third
shop, at the house of that tun-bellied, limping, fat old woman.
Chrysis.
PSEUD. What do you wish then? HAR. That you'll fetch
me thence when your master comes.
PSEUD. At your pleasure; by all means.
HAR. For, as I've come wearied off my journey, I wish to
refresh myself.
PSEUD. You are very wise, and your plan is agreable
But take care, please, that you are not out of the
way when I send for you.
to me.
In the harpy line)—Ver. 654. He alludes to his name, as having the Greek
verb apnálw, “to plunder," or "to carry off by force," for its origin.
Sc. J.II.
287
OR, TEE CHEAT.
HAR. Why, when I've dined, I shall indulge myself with
a nap.
PSEUD. I quite agree with you.
else?
HAR. Do you wish aught
PSEUD. That you'll be off to take your nap.
HAR. I'm off. PSEUD. And, do you hear, Harpax? Order
yourself to be covered up, please; you'll receive the benefit
you take a good sweat.
(Exit HARPAX.
if
SCENE III.-PSEUDOLUS, alone.
PSEUD. Immortal Gods! this man has preserved me by his
coming. By his supply for my journey he has brought me from
my wanderings quite into the right way. For the Goddess
Opportunity herself could not come to me more opportunely,
than has this letter in this opportune manner been brought to
me. For this has been brought as a horn of plenty¹, in which
there is whatever I wish for: here are my wiles, here all
my tricks, here my stratagems, here my money, here his mis-
tress for my master's son so much in love. And now how
vaunting shall I show myself; how, with a breast so fertile
in expedients, I was to do each thing, how, to steal away the
damsel from the procurer, I had all my plans arranged in
order in my mind as I desired, fixed, planned out. But,
no doubt, thus will it come to pass: this Goddess Fortune,
unaided, prevails over the designs of a hundred armed men.
And this is the fact, just as each person uses his fortune, so
does he surpass others, and forthwith we all pronounce him
wise. When we learn that the counsels of any person have
turned out well, we declare that he is a prudent man; but
that he is a fool who is unsuccessful. In our folly we know
not how much we are mistaken, when we eagerly wish any
¹ A horn of plenty)-Ver. 671. He alludes to the "Cornucopia," or "horn of
plenty," of the heathen Mythology, respecting which we find varying accounts in
the ancient writers. Some say that by it was meant the horn of the goat Amal-
then, which suckled Jupiter, and that the Nymphs gave it to Acheloüs, who after-
wards exchanged it for the horn of which Hercules afterwards deprived him in the
contest for the hand of Deianira. Ovid, in the Ninth Book of the Metamorphoses,
represents it as being the same horn which was broken off by Hercules. "And that
was not enough; while his relentless right hand was holding my stubborn börn,
he broke it, and tore it away from my mutilated forehead. This heaped with
fruit and odoriferous flowers, the Nymphs have consecrated, and the bounteo
Goddess Plenty is enriched by my horn."
288
Act II.
PSEUDOLUS;
thing to be given to us; as though we ourselves could possibly
know what is for our advantage. We lose what is certain, while
we are seeking what is uncertain. And this comes to pass,
amid labours and amid sorrow, that death meanwhile comes
creeping on. But there's enough now of philosophizing; I
have been talking too long, and at too great length. Immortal
Gods! my lie was not dear at its weight in double-distilled gold,
which I just now trumped up here on the spur of the moment,
when I said that I belonged to the procurer. Now, through
this letter shall I deceive three persons-my master, and the
procurer, and him who gave me this letter. Excellent!
nother thing as well has happened, that I wished for: see,
Calidorus is coming; he is bringing some one with him, I
know not whom. (Stands apart.)
SCENE IV.-Enter CALIDORUS and CHARINUS.
CAL. The sweets and the bitters, all have I disclosed to
you. You know my love, you know my difficulty, you know
my poverty.
CHAR. I well remember all; do you only let me know what
you want me to do.
CAL. Pseudolus has directed me thus, that I should bring
to him some bold and zealous person.
CHAR. You observe your directions well; for you bring
him one both friendly and zealous. But this Pseudolus is
a stranger to me.
CAL. He is a very clever fellow-he is my contriver. He
said that he would effect those things for me that I have
told you of.
PSEUD. (apart). I'll address this person in a very lofty
strain.
CAL. Whose voice is it that's heard here?
PSEUD. Oh! thee, sovereign lord, thee, oh! thee do I
address who dost rule over Pseudolus: thee do I seek, to
impart to thee delights thrice three, threefold, acquired by
three contrivances, obtained over three persons through
craftiness and through subtlety, which in this very little.
sealed packet I have brought unto you¹. (Holds up the letter.)
I have brought unto you)-Ver. 706. The note of interrogation at the end of
this passage, as found in Ritschel's Edition, seems to be out of place.
Sc. IV.
OR, THE CHEAT.
289
CAL. That's the fellow; how the hang-dog does bluster
just like a tragedian.
PSEUD. Advance a step on thy side towards me. Boldly
stretch forth thine arm for greeting.
CAL. (taking his hand). Tell me, Pseudolus, whether, as
Hope or as Safety, must I greet you?
PSEUD. Why both. CAL. As both I greet you. But
what has been done? Why are you silent? I have carried
this person here. (Pointing to CHARINUS.)
PSEUD. How? Carried him here? CAL. Brought, I meant
to say.
PSEUD. Who's this person? CAL. Charinus.
PSEUD. Well done; I return him thanks¹ then.
CHAR. Will you then boldly enjoin me what it is neces-
sary to do?
PSEUD. My thanks, so far. May it be well with you, Cha-
rinus; I don't like that we should be troublesome to you.
CHAR. You, troublesome to me? Now, really, that's
troublesome.
PSEUD. Well, then, wait a moment. (Takes the letter out
from under his dress.)
CAL. What's that? PSEUD. This letter have I just now
intercepted, and the token.
CAL. Token ? What token? PSEUD. The one that was
brought just now from the Captain. His servant, who was
bringing it, with five mine of silver, who came to fetch your
mistress hence, him I have just now bamboozled.
CAL. HOW so? PSEUD. For the sake of these Spectators
the play is being performed; they know, who were present
here; you I'll tell at another time.
CAL. What are we to do then?
PSEUD. You shall this day embrace your mistress at
liberty.
CAL. What, I? PSEUD. You yourself.
CAL. I? PSEUD. Your own self, I say, if indeed this
head shall exist so long; if you'll only quickly find me out
a man.
CHAR. Of what description? PSEUD. A cunning, crafty
and clever one, who, when he has once taken hold of the
· Return him thanks)—Ver. 712. Xápiv TOUTO TOL. He speaks in Greek for
the puro e f punnin on the name of Charinus in the word xápiv, "thanks."
.
290
Act II
PSEUDOLUS;
beginning, may by his own ingenuity still hold fast upon
what it behoves him to do; one, too, who has not often been
seen here.
CHAR. If he is a slave, does that matter at all?
PSEUD. Why, I'd much rather have him than a free
man.
CHAR. I think that I'm able to procure for you a cunning
and clever fellow, that has lately come to my father from
Carystus¹, and hasn't as yet gone anywhere out the house,
and who never visited Athens before yesterday.
PSEUD. You assist in right earnest. But I have need to
borrow five minæ of silver, which I shall repay this day, for
his father (pointing to CALIDORUS) owes it me.
CHAR. I'll lend it; don't seek it anywhere else.
PSEUD. O, how convenient a person for me. I have need
of a scarf as well, a sword, and a broad-brimmed hat.
CHAR. I can provide them from my house. PSEUD. Im-
mortal Gods! surely this is not Charinus for me, but Abun-
dance. But this servant, who is come here from Carystus,
is there anything in him?
CHAR. Plenty of the stinking goat2 in him.
4
PSEUD. It befits the fellow, then, to have a tunic with
long sleeves³. Has the chap anything sharp in his breast?
CHAR. Aye, of the very sharpest. PSEUD But if it is
necessary for him to draw forth what is sweet from the
same place, has he aught of that?
CHAR. Do you ask that? He has wine of myrrh, sweet
1 From Carystus)-Ver. 730. This was a city of Euboea, opposite the Isle of
Andros.
2 The stinking goat)-Ver. 738. He cannot resist the temptation of a pun,
though a somewhat unsavoury one. Pseudolus asks if this servant of Charinus
is at all sharp. "Quid sapit ?" The same words also admit of the meaning, "does
he smell of anything?" On which Charinus gives him answer, as though the
question had been put in the latter sense, "Yes, of the goat under the arm-pits
The Romans, who were fond of giving a name to everything, whether it was worth
it or not, called the strong smell produced by the glands of the arm-pits by the
name of "hircus," "the goat," by reason of the rank smell of that animal.
"
3 Tunic with long sleeves)-Vor. 738. On this dirty answer being given him,
Pesudolus says, "Well, then, he must have an under-garment with long sleeves,"
"manuleata tunica," in order to suppress the offensive smell. The use of the
long-sleeved tunic was considered to denote great effeminacy.
แ
♦ Anything sharp)—Ver. 739. "Ecquid aceti." Literally, "any vinegar." This
word sometimes signifies "caustic wit" or raillery" Here it denotes "natural
hrewdness.”
Sc. IV.
291
OR, THE CHEAT.
raisin wine, spice wine¹, honey wine, sweets of every sort.
Why, he once began to set up a hot liquor-shop in his breast.
PSEUD. Bravissi o! Why, Charinus, you beat me cleverly 2
at my own game. But what am I to say is the name of this
servant?
CHAR. Simmia. PSEUD. In a difficulty, does he under-
stand how to twirl about?
CHAR. A whirlwind³ is not so ready as he.
PSEUD. Is he shrewd at all? CHAR. In mischievous
tricks4 very often.
PSEUD. How, when he's caught in the fact?
CHAR. He's a very eel; he slips out.
PSEUD. Is this fellow an experienced one?
CHAR. A public ordinance is not more experienced.
PSEUD. He is a suitable person, according to what I hear
you say.
CHAR. Aye, and from this you may know it. When he
looks at you he'll tell, of his own accord, what it is you
want with him. But what are you about to do?
PSEUD. I'll tell you. When I've dressed up my man, I
intend to make him become the pretended servant of the
Captain; let him take this token to the procurer, with five
minæ of silver. There's the whole plot for you. As for
the rest, in what way he is to do each thing, I'll instruct
himself.
1 Raisin wine, spice wine)-Ver. 741. "Passum" was wine made from grapes
dried in the sun. "Defrutum" was new wine boiled down to one-half with herbs
and spices to make it keep.
2 You beat me cleverly)-Ver. 743. "Lamberas."
generally signifies "to tear in pieces."
The verb "lambero"
³ A whirlwind)—Ver. 745. "Turbo" may mean either a "spinning-" or "whip-
ping-top," or a whirlwind," here.
>>
* In mischievous tricks)—Ver.746. “Argutus,” as an adjective, signifies "clever,'
"shrewd." As the past participle of the verb “ arguo," it means
"it means "accused."
Pseudolus asks if he is "shrewd," "argutus;" to which the other answers eva-
sively, "O yes (he has been accused," "argutus "), "of mischievous tricks very
often.'
5 A public ordinance)—Ver. 748. The "plebiscita" among the Romans were
the public ordinances, which were proposed by the Tribunes at the "Comitia
Tritate" of the people. He puns upon the resemblance of the word scitus,"
which means "knowing," and "scitum" signifying "an ordinance.” Is he
"scitus," "knowing?" "O yes, a public ordinance "
"scitum," • is not inor
knowing," "scitus,"" than he is."
σ 2
292
Act III.
PSEUDOLUS;
CAL. Why, therefore, do we stand here then ?
PSEUD. Bring the fellow to me just now, dressed out with
all his accoutrements, to Æschinus, the banker's. But make
all haste.
CAL. We'll be there before you.
PSEUD. Get you gone there quickly. (CALIDORUS and
CHARINUS go into SIMO's house.) Whatever before was un-
certain or doubtful in my mind, is now clear—now fined to
the dregs; my heart has now an open path. All my legions
will I lead forth under their standards with happy omen¹
with favorable auspices, and to my heart's content. I have
a certainty that I can rout my enemies. Now will I go to
the Forum, and load Simmia with my instructions what he
is to do, that he may not be tripping at all, and that he
may cleverly lay the train for this plot. Soon now shall I
cause the town of this procurer to be carried by storm.
(Exit.
ACT III.-SCENE I.
Enter a Box from the house of BALLIO.
Box. On that Boy on whom the Gods bestow servitude
under a procurer, when they add a base occupation as well,
assuredly do they, so far as I now understand in my mind,
bestow upon him a great misfortune and miseries manifold.
Just as this servitude has turned out to me, where I am set
over duties great and small; nor am I able to find any
admirer to love me, so that at length I might be fitted out
in a little better guise. Now this day is the birthday of this
procurer. The procurer has made a determination, from
the lowest to the highest, that if each one does not this day
send him a present, he shall perish to-morrow with the
greatest torments. Now, faith, I know not what to do in
my line, for, unless I shall send a present to the procurer
this day, to-morrow must I swallow down fullers' produce2.
And yet I cannot do that which they who can are wont to do.
¹ With happy omen)—Ver. 762. "Ave sinistrâ" Literally, "with a bird on
the left hand." This was considered to be a favorable omen.
2 Fullers' produce)—Ver. 781. As fullers used hands, feet, and sticks in
beatmg the cloth, fructus fullonius" would mean "kicks and bruises.'
*
Sc. II.
293
OR, THE CHEAT.
And by
Alas! how little am I, even still for this vocation.
my troth, now, to my misfortune how fearfully do I dread
punishment. If any one lays on¹ whose hand is too heavy,
although they say that it generally is done amid great weep-
ing, I think that I am able in some measure to keep my
teeth closed. But I must keep close my lips and my talking,
for see, my master is betaking himself home, and bringing
a Cook with him. (Stands at a distance.)
SCENE II.-Enter BALLIO and a Cook.
BAL. Those who call it the cook's market, call it so
foolishly; for 'tis not a cook's market, but a thieves' market.
For if, upon oath, I were to seek out the worst of men, I
couldn't have brought a worse one than this fellow that I'm
bringing, one, chattering, bragging, silly, and worthless. Why,
for this very reason Orcus has declined to take him to him-
self, that he might be here to cook a banquet for the dead;
for here he is able to cook a thing to please them alone.
Cook. If you thought of me in this manner that you are
mentioning, why did you hire me ?
BAL. From scarcity; there wasn't another. But why, if
you were a cook, were you sitting in the market-place, you
alone behind the rest?
Cook. I'll tell you. By reason of the avarice of men have
I become an inferior cook, not through my own inclina-
tion.
BAL. For what reason is that? Cook. I'll tell you.
Because, in fact, directly people come to hire a cook, ne
one enquires for him that's the best and the highest priced:
rather do they hire him that's the lowest priced. Through
this have I to-day been the only sitter in the market. Those
wretched fellows are for a drachma a-piece; not any person is
able to prevail on me to rise for less than a didrachm³. I
If any one lays on)-Ver. 785. It is supposed by some that an indecent
allusion is obscurely made in this line; it is, however, doubtful if such really is the
fact.
2 Orcus has declined)-Ver. 795. "Orcus" is an epithet of Pluto, the king
of the Infernal regions, and, sometimes, of the place itself.
'
• A didrachm)-Ver. 809. Literally, "nummus,"
a
coin" or "piece of
294
Act IIL
PSEUDOLUS;
don't cook a dinner too, like other cooks, who bring me up
seasoned meadows of grass upon their dishes; who turn the
guests into oxen, and supply the grass. This herbage, too,
do they further season with other herbs: put in coriander,
fennel, garlick, orage; they add, too, sorrel, cabbage, beet,
and spinach. In this they dissolve a pound weight of asafoetida.
The roguish mustard is pounded, which makes the eyes of
those that pound it drop tears before they have pounded it.
These fellows, when they cook dinners, when they do season
them, season them, not with seasonings, but with vampyre
owls¹, which eat out the bowels of the guests while still alive.
Through this, in fact, it is, that people here live such short
lives, inasmuch as they heap up these herbs of this sort in
their stomachs, dreadful to be mentioned, not only to be
eaten. Herbage which the cattle eat not, men eat themselves.
BAL. What do you say? Do you use divine seasonings, by
which you can prolong the life of men, you, who find fault
with these other seasonings?
Cook. I proclaim it boldly; for those who shall eat of my
victuals which I have seasoned will be able to exist two hun-
dred years even. For when I've put into the saucepan
either cicilendrum, or cepolindrum, or mace, or saucaptis, the
very dishes become warmed forthwith. These are sauces
for fish, the cattle of Neptune; the flesh of the earthly cattle
I season with cicimandrum, hapalopsis, or cataractria.
noney,” which means a didrachm or piece of two drachmæ in value, or about one
shilling and sevenpence of our money.
1 With vampyre owls)-Ver. 820. "Strigibus." By this expression he
ɔrobably alludes to the drastic effect of these herbs on those who partook of
them. Ovid, in the Sixth Book of the Fasti, has these words: "There are raven-
ous fowls; not those which used to rob the mouth of Phineus at the board, but
thence do they derive their origin. Large are their heads, fixed is their gaze
for plunder are their beaks adapted; on their wings is a greyish colour, crooked
talons are on their claws. By night they fly, and they seek the children unpro-
tected by the nuise, and pollute their bodics dragged from their cradles. With
their beaks they are said to tear the entrails of the sucklings, and they have their
maws distended with the blood which they have swallowed. 'Striges' are they
called; and the origin of this name is the fact, that they are wont to screech in
the dismal night." It is supposed by some persons that, under this name, the
vampyre bat is alluded to.
2 Cepolindrum, or mace)—Ver. 832. With the exceptica of mace, all theso
names are gibberish, invented by the Cook for the purpose of imposing pan
Ballio.
Sc. II.
295
OR, THE CHEAT.
BAL. Now may Jupiter and all the Divinities confound
you with your sauces, and with all those lies of yours!
COOK. Do allow me to speak, please. BAL. Speak, and
go to very perdition.
COOK. When all the saucepans are hot, I open them all
then does the odour fly towards heaven with its hand
hanging down¹.
BAL. The odour with its hands hanging down?
Cook. I made a mistake without thinking.
BAL. HOW so? COOK. With its feet hanging down, 1
meant to say. Jupiter dines on that odour every day.
BAL. If you happen not to go out to cook, pray what does
Jupiter dine upon?
Cook. He goes to sleep without his dinner.
BAL. Go to very perdition. Is it for this reason that I'm
to give you a didrachm to-day?
Čook. Well, I confess that I am a very high-priced cook;
but I make the results of my labour to be seen for the price,
hired at which I go out.
BAL. In thieving, to wit. Cook. And do you expect to
meet with any cook except with the claws of a kite or of
an eagle ?
BAL. And do you expect to go anywhere to cook, and not
to cook the dinner there with your claws tied up? Now,
therefore, you boy (to the Box), who are my servant, I now
give you notice to make haste to remove hence all my
property; and to keep his eyes as well in your sight.
Whichever way he shall look, do you look the same way as
well. If he shall move in any direction, do you move as
well. If he shall put forth his hand, put you forth your
hand as well. If he shall take anything of his own, do you
suffer him to take it; if he shall take what's mine, do you on
the other side hold him fast. If he shall stoop to the
ground, do you stoop there as well. Likewise over your
understrappers I shall appoint a single guard a-piece.
1 With its hands hanging down)-Ver. 841. He means to personify the odour
and to represent it as flying up to heaven; but, by mistake, he says it flies
up,
“demissis manibus," with its hands hanging down, which would ather be the
attitude of a person thrown out of, and falling from, the heavens. Ballio repeats
the expression in a tone of surprise, on which the Cook corrects himself, and says
he meant to say, "with its feet hanging down," "demissis pedibus."
296
Act III., Sc. II.
PSEJDOLUS;
COOK. Only have good courage. BAL. Prithce, tell me
how I possibly can have good courage, who am taking you
home to my house?
Cooк. Because, by my broth, this day will I do just in the
way that Medea cooked up the old man Pelias¹, whom she
is said by a draught and by her potions from an aged man to
have made young again; so will I make you likewise.
BAL. How now; are you an enchanter as well ?
Cook. Why no, by my troth, I am rather a preserver2 of
mankind.
BAL. Well now; for how much would you teach me that
one point in cooking?
COOK. What point? BAL. That I may preserve you from
pilfering anything from me.
Cook. For a didrachm, if you believe me; if not, not for
a mina even. But whether are you about to-day to give a
dinner, to your friends or to your enemies ?
BAL. Why, faith, to my friends surely.
Cook. But why don't you invite your enemies to it rather
than your friends? For this day will I present to the
guests a banquet so savoury, and I'll season it with such a
dulcet sweetness, that whoever shall taste each thing that's
seasoned, I'll make that same person to gnaw off the ends
of his own fingers.
BAL. Troth now, prithee, before you shall present aught
to the guests do you yourself first taste, and give some
1 The old man Pelias)—Ver. 869. The Cook could not be expected to be very
learned in the heathen Mythology; and we accordingly find him making a
blunder. Æson, the father of Jason, was restored to youth by the charms of
Medea; but Pelias being the enemy of Jason, Medea persuaded his daughters to
cut him in pieces, that he might in similar manner restore him to youth; which
was accordingly done, on which, having thus contrived his death, she refused her
assistance. It is much more probable that the Cook should be intended to be
represented as ignorant, than as attempting here to impose on the ignorance of
Ballio. Warner, in his translation, however, thinks otherwise. He says, "The
humour plainly lies in the Cook's promises to restore Ballio to his juvenility by
a cookery-one that would kill him. Ballio's ignorance is, indeed, here meant to
be exposed to ridicule by the Cook, that is by Plautus, as it likewise is in the
names of the spices, which are probably fictitious."
vene-
2 Rather a preserver)-Ver. 874. The "enchanters," who were called "
fici," "
poisoners," were supposed to destroy men by their potions, whence the
or reply of the Cook.
Act IV., Sc, I.
297
OR, THE CHEAT.
to your understrappers, that you may gnaw off the ends.
of your own pilfering hands.
COOK. Perhaps then you don't believe me in the things
that I say.
BAL. Don't you be troublesome; you din me too much;
you don't please me by it. See, there I live. (Points to his
house.) Do you go in-doors and cook the dinner, with all
speed.
Bor. Why don't you go, and take your place? Go and
find the guests; the dinner's spoiling already. (Cook and
BOY go into the house.)
BAL. Now, just look, please, at that young offshoot; for he,
too, is a good-for-nothing deputy-scullion for the cook. Truly
I don't know what now first to be on my guard against;
such thieves there are in my house, and there's a robber
close at hand. For my neighbour here, the father of Cali-
dorus, a short time since, in the market-place, asked me
by all means to be on my guard against his servant Pseu-
dolus, not to put any trust in him; for that he is on the
hunt this day, if possible to dupe me out of the woman.
said that he had stoutly promised to him that he would get
away Phonicium from me by stratagem. I'll now go in-
doors and give notice to my household, that no one must
put any trust whatever in this Pseudolus. (Goes into his
house.)
ACT IV. SCENE I.
Enter PSEUDOLUS.
He
PSEUD. If the immortal Gods ever did determine that any
person should be assisted by their aid, now do they intend
that Calidorus shall be preserved for me, and the procurer
destroyed, inasmuch as they produced you for my assistant,
so clever and so knowing a fellow. (Looking back.) But
where is he? am I not a sily fellow to be thus talking to
myself alone? I' faith, he has put a trick upon myself, as I
fancy; myself one knave, I have been poorly on my guard
against another knave. By my troth I'm undone, if this
fellow's off, and I shall not carry into effect this day what I
intended. But see, there he is, a statue that deserves a whip.
ping; how stately he does stalk along!
298
Act 1V.
PSEUDOLUS;
Enter SIMMIA, at a distance, dressed like HARpax.
PSEUD. How now! By my faith I was looking about for
you; I was very greatly afraid that you were off.
SIM. It was my character to do so, I confess.
PSEUD. Where were you loitering?
pleased.
SIM. Where I
PSEUD. That I know well enough already.
SIM. Why then do you ask me what you know?
PSEUD. Why this I want, to put you in mind.
SIM. Needing to be put in mind yourself, don't you be
putting me in mind.
PSEUD. Really I am treated by you quite with contempt.
SIM. And why shouldn't I treat you with contempt, I,
who have the repute of being a military gentleman ?
PSEUD. I want this then, which has been commenced, to
be completed.
SIM. Do you see me a-doing anything else?
PSEUD. Therefore walk on briskly. SIM. No, I choose to
go slowly.
PSEUD. This is the opportunity; while this Harpax is
asleep, I want you to be the first to accost him.
SIM. Why are you hurrying? Softly; don't you fear. I
wish Jupiter would so make it, that he were openly in the
same place with me, whoever he is, that has arrived from the
Captain. Never a jot, by my troth, should he be a bit the
better Harpax than I. Have good courage, I'll have this
business nicely accounted for to you. So by my tricks and
lies would I put this military stranger in a fright that he
himself would deny that he is the person that he is, and would
believe me to be the person that he himself is.
PSEUD. How can that be? SIM. You are murdering me
when you ask me that.
PSEUD. A clever fellow. SIM. And so are you too, who
are quite my equal with your mischievous tricks and lies
*
**
*
*
PSEUD. May Jupiter preserve you for me.
SIM. Aye, and for myself. But look, does this dress be
como me quite well?
Sc. 1.
299
OR, THE CHEAT.
PSEUD. It suits very well. SIM. Be it so.
PSEUD. May the Deities grant you as many blessings as
you may wish for yourself. For if I were to wish for as
many as you are deserving of, they would be less than
nothing; (aside) nor have I ever seen any one more of a rogue
than this fellow.
SIM. (overhearing him). Do you say that to me?
PSEUD. This man's an honest fellow.
SIM. It is neither this person, then (pointing to PSEUDO-
LUS), nor myself.
PSEUD. But take care that you don't be tripping.
SIM. Can't you hold your tongue? He that puts a man
in mind of that which, remembering it, he does keep in mind,
causes him to forget it. I recollect everything; they are
stored up in my breast; my plans are cleverly laid.
PSEUD. I'm silent. But what good turn shall I do you
if you carry through this matter with management? So
may the Gods love me-
SIM. They won't do so; you'll be uttering sheer false-
hoods then.
PSEUD. How I do love you, Simmia, for your roguery, and
both fear and laud you.
SIM. That I have learned to make a present of to others;
you can't put your flatteries on me.
PSEUD. In how delightful a manner I shall receive you this
day, when you have completed this matter.
SIM. Ha, ha, ha! (Laughing.)
PSEUD. With nice viands, wine, perfumes, and titbits
between our cups. There, too, shall be a charming damsel,
who shall give you kiss upon kiss.
SIM. You will be receiving me in a delightful manner.
PSEUD. Aye, and if you effect it, then I'll make you say so
still more.
SIM. If I don't effect it, do you, the executioner, take me
off to torture. But make haste and point out to me where
is the door of the procurer's house.
PSEUD. 'Tis the third hence. SIM. Hist! hush! the door's
opening.
PSEUD. In my mind, I believe that the house is poorly.
SIM. Why so? PSEUD. Because, i' faith, it is vomiting
forth the procurer. (BALLIO is coming out of his house.)
300
Act IV.
PSEUDOLUS;
SIM. Is this he? PSEUD. This is his own self.
SIM. 'Tis a worthless commodity. PSEUD. Do see that:
he doesn't go straight, but sideways, just as a crab is wont.
(They conceal themselves from BALLIO.)
SCENE II.-Enter BALLIO from his house.
BAL. I do believe that this fellow is not so bad a cook as
I thought he was; for he has clawed off nothing as yet ex-
cept a cup and a tankard.
PSEUD. (apart to SIMMIA). Hallo you! now's your oppor-
tunity and your time.
SIM. I agree with you. PSEUD. Step slily out into the
street; I'll be here in ambush. (SIMMIA steps forward, and
then walks along the middle of the street to meet BALLIO.)
SIM. (talking aloud to himself). I took the number care-
fully;
this is the sixth lane from the city gate; down that
lane he bade me turn; how many houses down he told me,
that I don't quite know for certain.
BAL. (eyeing SIMMIA). Who's this fellow in the scarf, or
whence does he come, or whom is he looking for? The
appearance of the fellow seems outlandish and shabby.
SIM. But see, here's a person, who, from uncertainty, will
make the thing more certain for me that I wish to know.
BAL. He's coming straight towards me. Where in the
world am 1 to say this fellow comes from?
SIM. Harkye! you who are standing there with a goat's
beard, answer me this that I ask you.
BAL. How now ! Don't you salute me first?
SIM. (with a surly voice). I have no salutations to give away.
BAL. Well, troth, you shall get just as much from here
then.
PSEUD. (from behind). Well done, at the very beginning.
SIM. Do you know any person in this lane, I ask you?
BAL. I know myself. SIM. Few persons do that which
you mention; for in the Forum there is hardly every tenth
person that knows his own self.
PSEUD. (from behind). I'm all right; he is philosophizing
now.
SIM. I'm looking for a fellow here, a bad one, a law-
breaker, an impious, perjured, and dishonest rogue.
BAL (aside). He's looking for me, for those are my titles.
Sc. 11.
301
OR, THE CHEAT.
If he would only mention the name.
the name of this person?
SIM. Ballio, the procurer.
(To SIMMIA.) What's
BAL. Do I know him? I am
the very person, young man, that you are looking for.
SIM. What, are you Ballio? BAL. 1 really am he.
SIM. How you are clothed, a housebreaker
*
*
*
*
(He takes hold of BALLIO's cloak.)
*
*
*
*
**
BAL. I think if you were to see me in the dark, you'd
be keeping your hand off.
SIM. My master bade me present you many greetings.
Receive this letter from me; he bade me give you it.
BAL. Who's the person that bade you ?
PSEUD. (from behind). I'm undone, now the fellow's in
the middle of the mud. He doesn't know the name-
this business is at a dead lock.
BAL. Who do you say sent me this?
SIM. Observe the seal; do you yourself tell me his name,
that I may know that you are Ballio himself.
BAL. Give me the letter.
seal. (Gives him the letter.)
SIM. Take it, and look at the
BAL. (looking at it). Oho! 'Tis nothing more nor less
than Polymacharoplagides¹, his own very self; I recognize
it. Hallo you, Polymacharoplagides is his name!
SIM. I know now that I have rightly given you the letter,
since you have mentioned the name of Polymachæroplagides.
BAL. How fares he? SIM. By my troth, just as a brave
man and a good soldier should. But make haste, I beg, to
read this letter through, for it is requisite to do so, and to
take this money at once and send out the damsel. For it's
necessary for me this day to be at Sicyon2, or else to suffer
death to-morrow; so peremptory is my master.
BAL. I know it: you are telling those who know it already.
SIM. Make haste then to read the letter through.
BAL. I'll do so, if you'll only hold your tongue.
(He
reads the letter.) "The Captain Polymacharoplagides sends
¹ Polymachæroplagiles)—Ver. 988. This high-sounding name is compounded
of three Greek words, and signifies "the son of many blows with the sword,"
something akin to it.
2 To be at Sicyon)—Ver. 995. This was a very ancient city of the Pelopo
nesus on the Gulf of Corinth.
302
Act ᎥᏙ.
PSEUDOLUS;
this letter, written to the procurer Ballio, sealed with the
impression which was formerly agreed upon between us
two."
SIM. The token's in the letter
BAL. I see the token and I recognize it. But is he in the
habit of sending no greeting written in his letter?
SIM. Such is the military etiquette, Ballio; with their
hand they send health to their well-wishers, and with the
same do they send destruction to their evil-wishers. But
as you have commenced, go on to ascertain of yourself what
this letter says.
BAL. Listen then. (Reading on.) "Harpax is my camp-
servant, who has come to you." Are you this Harpax ?
SIM. I am, and the real Harpax too¹.
BAL. (reading on). "Who brings this letter; I wish the
money to be received from him, and the woman to be sent
together with him. 'Tis becoming to send greeting to the
worthy; had I deemed you worthy, I should have sent it to
you."
SIM. What then? BAL. Pay me the money, take away
the woman.
SIM. Which of us is delaying the matter?
BAL. Follow me in-doors then.
SIM. I'm following. (They go into BALLIO's house.)
SCENE III.-PSEUDOLUS comes forward.
PSEUD. I' troth, a more artful fellow, and one more skii-
fully cunning, I never did see than is this same Simmia.
Very much do I dread this man, and sadly do I fear that he
may prove mischievous against myself just as he has been
against him; lest in his prosperity he may now turn his
horns against me, if he finds an opportunity. Should he
prove mischievous towards me
But, i' faith, for my part I hope not, for I wish well to him.
Now in three ways am I in the greatest dread. First of all
then, I dread this comrade of mine, lest he should forsake me
and go over from me to the enemy. Next do I dread that
my master should in the meantime return from the Forum;
*
**
**
*
1 The real Harpax too)-Ver. 1010. He lays a stress on the name, to catch a
laugh from the audience by implying that he is a regular Harpax or "plunderer,"
both in name and reality.
Sc. v.
303
OR, THE CHEAT.
lest, the booty taken, the plunderers should be taken. To-
gether with these things do I fear, lest that other Harpax
should arrive here before this Harpax has departed hence
with the woman. By my faith, I'm undone; they are
very slow in coming out of doors. With baggage packed¹
up, my heart is waiting, ready, if he doesn't bring out the
damsel together with himself, to fly away in exile out from
of my breast.
(The door of BALLIO's house opens.) I'm the conqueror—
I've got the better of my wary guards.
*
*
*
*
*
SCENE IV. Enter SIMMIA, from BALLIO's house, leading
PHŒNICIUM.
*
SIM. (to PHŒNICIUM). Don't weep: you know not how the
matter is, Phœnicium; but before long I'll let you know it
when you are resting. I'm not leading you to that Mace-
donian long-teethed fellow, who now causes you to be weep-
ing. To him will I lead you, whose you especially long to be.
I'll cause you before very long to be embracing Calidorus.
PSEUD. Prithee, why did you stay so long in-doors? For
how long a time was my heart throbbing with beating
against my breast.
SIM. You have found reason, you whipping-post, with a
vengeance to be making enquires of me
*
*
**
*
amid the ambush
of the enemy. Why don't we go home with all speed with
military strides.
PSEUD. Now, by my troth, although you are a worthless
fellow, you advise aright. March in triumphal procession,
this way, straight in the path to the festive goblet. (They
march off in triumphal procession.)
SCENE V.-Enter BALLIO, from his house.
BAL. Ha, ha, ha! (laughing.) Now, at last, my mind is
in a state of ease, since that fellow has departed hence,
¹ With baggage packed)—Ver. 1033. "Conligatis vasis." This is a figure de-
rived from military affairs. In modern as in ancient times, the custom is for the
soldiers, when they break up the encampment, to collect all their vessels and
baggage and tie them up in bundles.
2 With military stridles)—Ver. 1019. Having often to march quickly, soldiers
would naturally acquire the habit of walking with large strides.
304
Act IV.
PSEUDOLUS;
and taken away the woman. I should like Pseudolus now
to come, that wicked rascal, to carry the woman off from me
by his stratagems. I know for sure, right well, that I had
rather in solemn form perjure myself a thousand times, than
that he should cheat me by making a laughing-stock of me.
By my troth now, I'll laugh at the fellow if I meet him.
But I guess that he'll soon be on the treadmill, just as befits
him. Now I wish for Simo that he would come in my way,
in order that he might be joyful in common with my joy.
SCENE VI.-Enter SIMO.
SIMO (to himself). I'm going to see what business my
Ulysses has transacted; whether he now has the statuel from
the Ballionian citadel.
BAL. O, lucky man! give me your lucky hand. (Takes
his hand.)
SIMO. What's the matter? BAL. Now.
SIMO. What now? BAL. There's nothing at all for you
to fear.
SIMO. What's the matter? Has that fellow Pseudolus
come to you?
BAL. NO. SIMO. What good fortune is there, then?
BAL. Your twenty minæ are safe and sound which Pseu-
dolus stipulated for from you this day.
SIMO. I' faith, I really do wish they were.
I
BAL. Ask of me twenty mine if he this day gets hold of
that woman, or gives her to your son this day, as he has pro-
mised. On my word, prithee, do demand them of me;
quite long to promise them. And, besides this, keep the
woman as a present for yourself, that in every way you
may know that your money's safe.
ŠIMO. There's no danger that I know of in making this
bargain. According as you have solemnly pledged your
word, will you give me twenty minæ ?
BAL. They shall be given. SIMO. This, indeed, is not sa
badly done. But have you met the fellow?
BAL. Aye, both of them together.
Now has the statue)-Ver. 1064. He alludes to Ulysses carrying away the
Palladium or statue of Minerva from the citadel of Troy.
Sc. vll.
305
OR, THE CHEAT.
SIMO. What did he say? What did he talk about?
Prithee, what did he mention to you?
BAL. Theatrical nonsense; expressions which, in comedies,
are wont to be used to a procurer, which boys are ac-
quainted with. He said that I was worthless, and wicked,
and forsworn.
SIMO. I' faith, he told no lie.
BAL. 'Twas for that reason I wasn't angry. For what
matters it for you to speak uncivilly to him who cares not
for it, and who don't deny the truth of what you say?
SIMO. Why is it that you are in no fear of him? That
I'm longing to hear.
BAL. Because he never will carry the woman off now, nor
is he able. Don't you yourself remember that I told you, some
time since, that she had been sold to a Macedonian officer?
SIMO. I remember. BAL. Well, his servant just now
brought me the money, and the token with the impression,
which had been arranged between himself and me.
SIMO. What then? BAL. He took away with him the
woman, not long since.
SIMO. Do you say this in real truth ?
BAL. Whence could I possibly have that quality?
SIMO. Do you only take care that he hasn't been playing
some trick there.
BAL. The letter and the impress on the seal make me sure.
Indeed, 'twas but just now he took her off for Sicyon.
SIMO. Troth now, 'twas well done. Why do I delay to
make Pseudolus give a namel to a colony at the mili-stones?
But who's this fellow in the scarf?
BAL. I don't know, i' faith; however, let's observe whither
he's going, and what business he's upon. (They stand on
one side.)
SCENE VII.-Enter HARPAX.
HAR. (to himself). That slave's a base and worthless fellow,
who values his master's commands at nought; and he, too,
is good for nothing who is forgetful to do his duty unless
he's put in mind. But those who forthwith deem then.-
selves to be at liberty, when they have hidden themselves from
¹ Give a name)-Ver. 1100. He alludes to the custom of the first colonista
giving the name to a colony. He says that he thinks that he must give Pseudolus
a settlement at the hand-mill, and so make him colonize the place of punishment
I
306
Act IV
PSEUDOLUS;
the sight of their master, who riot, wench, devour what they
have,—aye, what they have not,-long do those same endure
the name of servitude. Nor is there any good disposition in
them, except only that they may uphold themselves by their
dishonest contrivances. With these, neither their company
nor their conversation suits me, nor by these persons have
I been ever known. Although he is away, I consider my
master as being here; I fear him when he isn't here, that I
may not have to fear him when he is here. Therefore, as I
have been ordered, to this business will I give my attention.
But that Syrus, to whom I gave the token, would have been
letting me stay even yet in the shop. As he bade me, I stayed
there; he said that he would send for me when the procurer
was at home. But since he hasn't come, or called me while
staying there, I'm come hither of my own accord, that I may
know what is the fact, that that fellow mayn't be playing
tricks with me. And there is nothing better than that I
should knock at this door, and call some out here from in-
doors. I want this procurer to take this money of me, and to
send off this woman with me. (Goes towards BALLIO's door.)
BAL. (from behind, to SIMO). Hark you! SIMO. (apart).
What do you want?
BAL. (apart). This fellow's my own. SIMO. (apart). How
so ?
BAL. (apart, pointing to the purse in the hand of HARPAX).
Because that booty's mine. He's in search of a mistress
he has got money. I already long to fix my teeth in him.
SIMO. (apart). Are you going to devour him already?
BAL. (apart). While he's fresh, while he's in the habit
of giving away, while he's warm upon it, 'tis proper for him
to be gobbled up. The good men keep me poor, the bad
ones support me; the virtuous are a benefit to the public,
the debauched to myself.
SIMO. (aside). A mischief may the Gods send you; such
a villain are you.
BAL. (apart). Venus bestows upon me these blessings,
when she drives hither these haters of money, these who
quite long for losses, who carefully pamper themselves and
their youthful age, eat, drink, and wench. Of quite dif
ferent dispositions are they and you.
HAR. (to himself). I'm now delaying myself, in not
knocking at this door, that I may know whether or un
Sc. VII.
307
OR, THE CHEAT.
Ballio is at home now. (Calls out, going up to the door.)
Hallo! where are you? Hallo! where are you?
BAL. (apart). Why, he's going straight up towards my
house. I shall come off finely loaded with plunder from this
fellow; I know it's a lucky omen for me.
HAR. (knocking violently at the door). Does any one come
to open this door?
BAL. (calling out to him). Hallo! you in the scarf, what's
owing you at that house ?
HAR. I'm enquiring for Ballio, the procurer, the master of
the house.
BAL. Whoever you are, young man, make short work of
your enquiries.
HAR. Why so? BAL. Because he himself in person sees
you in his presence before him.
HAR. What, are you he? SIMO. You in the scarf, take
you care, please, of some crooked misfortune, and point your
finger¹ at him; this fellow is a procurer.
BAL. (pointing to SIMO). And this is an honest man.
(To SIMO.) But you, worthy fellow, are many a time being
hunted after in the Forum with noise enough, when you
haven't a groat in the world, unless this procurer here comes
to help you a bit.
HAR. But why don't you address yourself to me?
BAL. I do address you. What is it you want?
HAR. You to take this money.
minæ.)
(He holds out the five
BAL. (holding out his hand). Already have I extended my
hand, if you are going to give it.
HAR. Take it; here are five picked mine of silver counted
out. (Gives him the money.) This did my master, Polyma-
chæroplagides, order me to deliver to you, the sum which he
was owing, and that you were to send Phoenicium with me.
BAL. Your master ? HAR. I say to that effect.
BAL. The Captain? HAR. I speak to that effect.
BAL. The Macedonian? HAR. Such is the fact, I say.
BAL. Polymacharoplagides sent you to me?
HAR. You say what's fact. BAL. To give me this money?
1 Point your finger)-Ver. 1144. Simo thinks that Harpax has come to be a
customer of the procurer, and tells him to beware of misfortune, and rather to
point the finger of scorn at such a worthless character. The middle firger was
ased for that purpose.
x 2
308
Act IV.
PSEUDOLUS;
HAR. If you really are the procurer Ballio.
BAL. And for you to take away the woman from me?
HAR. Even so. BAL. Did he say that it was Phoenicium ?
HAR. You remember it exactly. BAL. Wait there; I'll
return to you this instant.
HAR. Make haste, then, with all speed, for I'm in a hurry.
'Tis now late in the day, d'ye see?
BAL. I see; still I wish to call this person aside. Do you
only wait there; I'll return to you this instant. (He takes
SIMO on one side.) What's to be done now, Simo? What
are we to do? I've detected this fellow that has brought the
money in the fact.
SIMO. HOW SO? BAL. And don't you understand what
this plan is ?
SIMO. About as much as the most ignorant do.
BAL. Your servant, Pseudolus, has sent this fellow on the
message, as though he was from the Macedonian Captain.
SIMO. Have you got the money from the fellow ?
BAL. Do you ask about that which you see? (Shows the
purse in his hand.)
SIMO. Harkye, remember to give me one half of that
plunder. It's right that that should be in common.
BAL. Why, plague on't, 'tis all your own¹.
HAR. (coming forward a step). How soon are you going to
attend to me?
BAL. I'll attend to you, indeed. (Aside.) What now do
you advise me to do, Simo ?
SIMO. (aside). Let's make some fun of this counterfeit
spy, even until he himself shall be sensible that he is being
made a fool of.
BAL. Follow me.
(To HARPAX.) What have you to say?
You are his servant, I suppose?
HAR. Most certainly. BAL. At what price did he pur-
chase you?
HAR. With the victory of his prowess in battle; for I was
a very great general at home in my own country.
BAL. Why, did he ever capture a gaol in your country?
HAR. If you utter affronting speeches, you'll be hearing
them.
1 Your own)-Ver. 1165. Meaning that, no doubt, Pseudolus had stolen t
from him.
Sc. VlI
309
OR, THE CHEAT.
BAL. In what time did you come from Sicyon hither?
HAR. In one day, by noon. SIMO. Bravo! By my troth,
you did come quickly; how very swift of foot this man is.
BAL. When you look at his calves, you might know that
he can wear heavy fetters. How say you-were you also,
when a child, in the habit of sleeping in a cradle ?
SIMO. Of course. BAL. And were you, too, in the habit
of doing¹—you know what I mean ?
SIMO. Of course he was in the habit of doing as other
children did?
HAR. Are you men in your senses? BAL. What, be-
cause I asked you that? At night, when the Captain was
going on guard, and when you were going with him, did the
sword of the officer fit your scabbard?
HAR. Go to utter perdition. BAL. You, indeed, shall
have the opportunity of going there in good time to-day.
HAR. But do you bring out the woman to me, or else give
me back the money.
BAL. Wait a bit. HAR. Why should I wait?
BAL. That scarf, tell me for how much it has been lent.
HAR. What matters it? SIMO. How much is the sword
hired for?
HAR. These fellows surely stand in need of hellebore².
BAL. How now-(Takes hold of him.) HAR. (repulsing
him). Leave me alone.
BAL. What wages does that broad-brimmed hat hire to-
day for its owner?
HAR. What owner? SIMо. What do the shoes?
**
*
**
*
*
HAR. What are you dreaming about? Why, I'm the
owner of all these things, bought with my own savings.
BAL. Those, you mean, which the upper part of your
thighs supports³.
¹ The habit of doing)-Ver. 1178. An indecent allusion is most probably here
intended. An attempt has been made in the translation to turn it into another
channel.
2 Have need of hellebore)-Ver. 1184. Black hellebore was much esteemed in
cases of madness. Harpax has really, from their way of proceeding, some reason
to think that the persons in conversation with him are not in their right senses.
3 Your thighs supports)-Ver. 1189. Unless a more gross allusion is in-
tended, he means that his "peculium" is not his "savings" (which is the strict
meaning of the word), but his back and flanks, which often receive on them
the punishment of servitude, and which alone he can call his own.
310
Act IV
PSEUDOLUS.
HAR. (aside). These old fellows have been anointed; they
want themselves rubbed down¹, after the old-fashioned custom.
BAL. I' faith, prithee, answer me this truly and seriously,
which I ask of you: What are you to earn? For how trifling
a sum has Pseudolus hired you?
HAR. Who is this Pseudolus ? BAL. Your tutor, who
has instructed you in this knavery, to take away the woman
hence from me by stratagem.
HAR. What Pseudolus, and what stratagem are you talk-
ing to me about? A person that I know of no colour, black
or white.
BAL. Will you not be off from here? There's no profit here
for swindlers to-day. Therefore you may tell Pseudolus that
another person has carried off the prize-the first Harpax
that came.
HAR. On my word, I really am that Harpax.
BAL. Aye, on my word, you want to be. This is nothing
more nor less than a downright impostor.
HAR. I have given yourself the money, and a while ago, im-
mediately on my arrival, the token to your servant; a letter
sealed with the likeness of my master, here before the door.
BAL. You gave a letter to my servant? What servant?
HAR. To Syrus. BAL. (to SIMO). The wicked rogue has
assurance enough. He hasn't contrived his knavish scheme
amiss. By my faith, that whipping-post of a fellow, Pseudolus,
how cleverly he has managed his plans; just as much money
as the Captain owed, he has given this man, and has dressed
out the fellow that he might take away the woman
* (To HARPAX.) But the
real Harpax himself brought that letter hither to me.
*
*
**
*
*
*
*
HAR. My name is Harpax; I am the servant of the Mace-
donian Captain. I'm doing nothing roguishly or cheatingly,
nor do I know or understand this Pseudolus, what mortal
being he is.
SIMO. Unless it's something wonderful, procurer, you've
clearly lost the woman.
¹ Themselves rubbed down)—Ver. 1190. After bathing, the Greeks and Romans
were in the habit of being anointed, and then rubbed down with a flesh-brush.
Probably the latter custom had gone out of fashion in the time of Plautus.
Harpax says that the old men want to be rubbed down; but he means, as uncle
Bowling expresses it in Roderick Random, "with an oaken towel."
2 Пlas assurance enough)-Ver. 1204. The note of interrogation, in Ritschers
editior, after" nequam," seems to be out of place.
Sc. VII.
311
UR, THE CHEAT.
BAL. Assuredly, by my troth, I'm in dread of that more
and more, when I come to hear his words. I' faith, that
Syrus, too, has already set my heart a-freezing, that received
the token from him.
SIMO. 'Tis a wonder if it isn't Pseudolus. (To Harpax.)
How now, you! of what appearance was the person to whom
you delivered the token ?
HAR. A certain red-haired fellow¹, pot-bellied, with thick
calves, swarthy, with a big head, sharp eyes, red face, and
very large feet.
BAL. You prove our undoing, when you mention the feet.
It was Pseudolus himself. It's all up with me.
I'm dying
now, Simo.
HAR. By my troth, I shan't let you die, unless the money's
returned me-twenty minæ.
SIMO. And another twenty mine to me as well.
BAL. (to SIMO). And is the sum to be taken of me that
I promised by way of a joke?
SIMO. From unprincipled men it's proper for both their
money and their plunder to be taken.
BAL. At least you might give up Pseudolus to me.
SIMO. I, give up Pseudolus to you? What has he done
amiss? Did I not tell you a hundred times that you were
to beware of him?
BAL. He has ruined me. SIMO. And on me he has laid a
fine of twenty fair minæ.
BAL. What am I to do then? HAR. When you have given
me the money-go hang yourself.
BAL. The Gods confound you. (To HARPAX.) Follow me,
then, this way, please, to the Forum, that I may pay you.
HAR. I follow
follow you. SIMO. What am I to do?
BAL. Strangers I'll pay at once; to-morrow I'll settle
with fellow-citizens. Pseudolus has been holding a council-
general against my life, in sending that fellow to me to-day
¹ Red-haired fellow)—Ver. 1218. Some Commentators fancy that in these lines
Plautus intends to give a description of himself. If so, he certainly was not so
handsome as he was ingenious.
2 A council-general)—Ver. 1232. "Centuriata habuit comitia." Literally," has
held the comitia centuriata." These were the largest and most important meetings
of the centuries or classes of all the Roman citizens, who there met together for
the purpose of electing the superior magistrates by their votes, making laws,
deciding upon war, and in later times, of concluding peace with foreign nations
312
Act V
PSEUDOLUS;
Do you follow me.
to carry off the woman. (To HARPAX.)
(To the AUDIENCE.) Now don't you be expecting that I shall
be returning home this way. As matters stand, I've deter-
mined to go through the alleys.
HAK. If you had walked at the rate you talk, you'd by
this have been at the Forum.
BAL. I'm determined to make this, instead of my birthday,
my dying day.
(Exit BALLIO, HARPAX following.
SCENE VIII.-SIMO, alone.
SIMO. I've touched this fellow handsomely, and cleverly
has my servant managed his adversary. Now am I resolved
to lie in ambush for Pseudolus in a different manner to what's
done in other plays, where people lie in wait with goads or
whips. Without revenge will I at once pay down the twenty
mine which I promised if he should effect it. I'll carry
them to him of my own accord. This creature is very clever,
very cunning, very artful. Pseudolus has surpassed the
Trojan stratagem¹ and Ulysses too. Now I'll be off in-doors.
I'll take out the money; I'll lie in ambush for Pseudolus.
(Goes into his house.)
ACT V.-SCENE I.
Enter PSEUDOLUS, drunk, with a chaplet on his head.
PSEUD. (staggering). How's this? And is it the fact?
Feet-are you standing or not? Or is it this you want, sonie
one to pick me up here as I lie? But, by my faith, if I do fall
down, yours will be the fault. Are you going to go? Heigho!
I must wait upon myself. This is the great fault in
wine; it first lays hold of the feet; 'tis a cunning wrestler.
By my faith, assuredly am I now come off right well drenched;
with such exquisite viands, with such becoming elegance,
in such a delightful place, have we been delightfully enter-
tained. What's the need for me to make much prosing?
This is the thing for a man, an object for him to pass his
life for; here are all pleasures and all delights. I think that
the ecstasy is equal to that of the Deities, when the lover
As these important things were done with due deliberation, Ballio borrows a
figure thence, and means that Pseudolus has been giving all attention to the
promotion of the success of the plot which he has laid against him.
¹ The Trojan stratagem)—Ver. 1244. He probably alludes to the contrivance
of the Wooden Horse, which was first suggested by Ulysses
Sc. I.
313
OR, THE CHEAT.
embraces his mistress, when he places lip to lip, when melting
kisses are exchanged, when breast is pressed to breast, or
else, if they please, they are locked in strict embrace; then
for your most loving mistress, with her white hand, to be
pledging you in the luscious goblet, for no one there to be
disagreable to another, for no one to be indulging in silly
conversation; for unguents and perfumes, ribbons and fes-
tive wreaths, to be provided in profusion; and for the rest
of the entertainment, too, to be provided in no niggardly style.
That no one may have to question me then, in this manner
have myself and my young master been spending this day in
jollity. After I had fulfilled all my task just as I intended, the
enemy put to flight, I was leaving them reclining and drinking,
each lover with his mistress, and my own mistress there as well,
indulging heart and soul. But after I had risen, they begged
me to dance. After this fashion (he dances) did I show my-
self off there quite charmingly, in a master-like style, to wit;
for I am thoroughly acquainted with the Ionian step. Thus,
clad in my little mantle, full of fun, I was stepping about,
this way. Some of them clapped me, others cried out for
me to dance again. In that same Ionian fashion once again
did I begin to take a turn; I presented myself to my mis-
tress, that she might caress me; as I was pirouetting, down
I tumbled: that was the funeral dirge2 for my sport. And
so, while I was a-struggling to get up, near almost, I
mean, I soiled my mantle. Then, by my troth, I was the
cause of plenteous mirth. A goblet was presented me on
account of my fall. Forthwith I changed my mantle, and
put on this; thence have I come hither, that I might get
rid of my surfeit. Now I'm going to my old master, to
put him in mind of our bargain. Open-open the door.
Hallo, there! Tell Simo, somebody, that I'm here. (Knocks
at the door of SIMO's house.)
"
¹ Ribbons)—Ver. 1265. "Lemniscos." According to Festus, "lemnisci" were
purple ribbons wrapped round one another, and hanging down from the wreaths
which the ancients wore on their heads at their entertainments. From a passage
in Pliny it would appear that these ribbons were in general only worn by persons
of distinction. The translation of 1. 1260 has nccessarily been somewhat modified.
2 The funeral dirge)-Ver. 1278. The word "Nania," or "nenia," has several
meanings, among others, that of "a funeral dirge," which is probably its meaning
here. Pseudolus intends to say that his fall, so far as he was concerned, put an
and to his enjoying the amusement of dancing any further.
314
Act V.
PSEUDOLUS;
SCENE II.-Enter SIMO¹, from his house.
SIMO. The voice of a rascally fellow is calling me out of
doors. (He stares at PSEUDOLUS.) But what's this? How's
this? What is it I see in this guise?
PSEUD. (staggering towards him). Your own Pseudolus,
drunk, with a chaplet on2.
SIMO. (to himself). By my troth, this is free and easy
indeed. But see his attitude; is he on my account a bit
the more afraid? I'm thinking whether I shall address
him harshly or kindly. But this (pointing to a purse in his
hand) that I'm carrying forbids me to use rough measures
towards him just now; if there's any hope for me, centred
in this.
PSEUD. (staggering up to SIMO). A worthless fellow is
coming to meet the best of men.
SIMO. May the Gods bless you, Pseudolus. (PSEUDOLUS
eructates.) Foh! go to utter perdition. (Pushes him away.)
PSEUD. But why should I have that mischance befal me?
SIMO. Why, the plague, in your drunkenness, are you
eructating in my face?
PSEUD. Hold me up, steadily; take care that I don't fall.
Don't you see me, how drenched and soaking I am ?
SIMO. What impudence is this, for you to be
this way in broad daylight, drunk, with a chaplet on?
going about
PSEUD. Such is my pleasure. (Eructates again.) SIMO. Why
your pleasure? Do you persist in eructating in my very face?
PSEUD. An eructation is comforting to me; do indulge me
in it; do but stand off.
SIMO. For my part I really do believe, you villain, that you
are able in a single hour to drink up four right plentiful
vintages of the Massic hills³.
1 Enter Simo)-All the former editions introduced Ballio in this scene, and put
in his mouth much of what really belongs to Simo. The astute Ritschel saw the
absurdity of this, and has rectified the text accordingly.
2 With a chaplet on)-Ver. 1287. Pseudolus lays some stress on this, as slaves
were not permitted to wear chaplets. He, however, presumes on the fact of
Simo being in his debt.
3 The Massic hills)-Ver. 1303. The Massic hills were situate in the Falernian
district, in the territory of Naples. The Massic or Falernian wine held the second
rank among the choice wines of the Romans. It was considered fit for drinking
when ten years old, and might be used up to the twentieth year, but when kert
onger was considered to be injurious to the nervous system.
Sc. II.
315
OR, THE CHEAT.
PSEUD. A winter hour¹, add. So. You don't reinind
me amiss. But tell me, however, whence I am to say that
you are bringing your deeply-laden bark ?
PSEUD. I've just been having a thorough bout with your
son. That damsel is the cause of this; along with your son
she is carousing, a free woman.
SIMO. You are a most worthless fellow.
PSEUD. But, Simo, wasn't Ballio nicely diddled? How
well I carried what I told you into effect.
SIMO. I know everything in its order, just as you managed
each particular.
PSEUD. Why, then, do you hesitate to pay me the money?
SIMO. You ask what's just, I confess; take it. (Gives
him the money.)
PSEUD. But you declared that you wouldn't give it me;
and still do you give it.
SIMO. Are you laughing at me? What? Are you going
to take this from your master, Pseudolus ?
PSEUD. With most willing heart and soul.
SIMO. Prithee, can't you venture to make me an abate-
ment of some portion of this money?
PSEUD. No: you shall say that I really am a greedy fellow;
for you shall never be richer by a single coin of this money.
SIMO. Well, I really didn't suppose that it would ever
come to pass with me that I should be begging of you.
PSEUD. Load your shoulder with it, and follow me this
way. (Pointing.)
SIMO. I-load myself with that? PSEUD. You will load
yourself, I'm sure.
SIMO. What am I to do to this fellow? Doesn't he, con-
trary to my expectation, take my money, and then laugh at me ?
PSEUD. Woe to the conquered2: turn your back, then.
(Turns him round.)
¹ A winter hour)-Ver. 1304. The Romans divided the light part of the day
nto twelve hours; consequently, the hours of the winter days were much
shorter than the summer ones.
2 Woe to the conquered)—Ver. 1322. The following was the origin of this
expression. When the Romans capitulated to the Gauls under Brennus, a thou-
sand pounds weight of gold were to be their ransom. When it was about to be
weighed out, the Gauls brought false weights. On this the Roman officer refused
to use them, whereupon Brennus threw his sword into the scale, and exclaimed
"Væ victis !" "Woe to the conquered!" The expression afterwards became pro-
verbial, as signifying that no mercy was to be expected.
316
Act V.
PSEUDOLUS.
SIMO. Oh! oh! desist. Let me alone-I'm in pain.
PSEUD. Were you not in pain, I should be in pain; and
no compassion would you have had for my back, if I hadn't
this day managed this.
SIMO. There will be an opportunity for me to be revenged
on you, if I live.
PSEUD. Why do you threaten? I've got a back of my own.
SIMO. Very well, then. (Moves as if going.) PSEUD. Come
you back then.
SIMO. Why come back? PSEUD. Only come you back;
you shall not be deceived.
SIMO. (turns round). I am come back. PSEUD. Come and
have a drink with me.
SIMO. What-I, come? PSEUD. Do as I ask you. If you
do come, I'll let you take half of this, or even more. (Points
to the purse in his hand.)
SIMO. I'll come; take me where you like, Pseudolus.
PSEUD. How now then? Are you at all angry with me or
with your son, Simo, on account of these matters ?
SIMO. Certainly, not at all. PSEUD. (going). Step this
way now.
SIMO. I follow you. But why don't you invite the Spec-
tators as well?
PSEUD. (turning round). I' faith, they are not in the habit
of inviting me; and, therefore, I don't invite them. But if
you (addressing the AUDIENCE) are willing to applaud and
approve of this company of players, and this Comedy, I
invite you for to-morrowl
¹ Invite you for to-morrow)--Ver. 1335. At the Megalensian games the third
day was especially set apart for scenic representations. Probably, as the present
Play was acted there, it was on that occasion announced for repetition on the suc-
ceeding day. It may not be inapposite here to remark that Cicero, in his Treatise
on Old Age, informs us that Plautus entertained a very high opinion of this
Play; while Aulus Gellius styles it "Comœdia festusima," "a most entertaining
Comedy." Many of the modern Commentators have pronounced it to be the most
meritorious of the Plays of Plautus.

?
MENÆCHMI;
THE TWIN-BROTHERS.
Dramatis Personæ.
Us of Epidamnus.
MUS. SOSICLES, his twin-brother.
Lus, Parasite.
n
SSENDO the servant of Menæchmus Sosicles.
ANDUS, a Cook.
MAN father-in-law of Menæchmus Sosicles.
E OF MENECHMUS of Epidamnus.
Derma Courtesan.
VANT of Erotium.
k
Scene. -Epidamne, a diay of Illyricum. The house of MENECHIMUS of plan
nus is on ere so ofthe street, and that of EROTIUM on the other.

THE SUBJECT.
esemblec
child, accom-
MOSCEJS, a merchant of Syracuse, had twinE SOU
each other. One of these, whose name was Maschin
panied his father to Tarentum, at which place he was steien
le was stolen aid carried away to
Epidamnus, where in course of time he has married a wealthy wife. Disagree-
ments, however, arising with her, he forms an acquaintance with the Courtesan
Erotium, and is in the habit of presenting her with clothes and jewels which he
pilfers from his wife. The original name of the other twin brother was
Sosicles, but on the loss of Menæchmus, the latter name has been substituted by
their grandfather for Sosicles, in remembrance of the lost child. Menæchmus
Sosicles, on growing to manhood, determines to seck his lo brother. Having
wandered for six years, he arrives at Epidamnus, atten
Messenio. In consequence of his resemblance to his brothe
laughable mistakes happen between him and the Courtesan
Menæchmus of Epidamnus, the Cook Cylindrus, the Pai
father-in-law of Menæchmus of Epidamnus, and lastly Me
length, through the agency of the latter, the brothers recog
which Messenio receives his liberty, and Menæchimus of Epi
make sale of his possessions and to return to Syracuso, L
2
f.
his servant,
urious and
baghegyife of
15, the
if. At
other; on
ésolves to


MENÆCHMI;
OR, THE TWIN-BROTHERS.
THE ACROSTIC ARGUMENT.
[Supposed to have been written by Priscian the Grammarian.]
SICILIAN merchant (Mercator) who had two sons, on one being stoler
him (Ei), ended his life. As a name (Nomen) for him who is at hom
paternal grandfather (Avus) gives him that of Menæchmus instead of So
And (Et) he, as soon as he is grown up, goes to seek his brother about (Cir
all countries. At last he comes to Epidamnus; hither (Huc) the one tha
stoien has been carried. All think that the stranger, Menæchmus (Me
mum), is their fellow-citizen, and address him (Eum) as such: Court
wife, and father-in-law. There (bi) at last the brothers mutually reco
ach other.
THE PROLOGUE.
IN the first¹ place now, Spectators, at the commencem
o I wish health and happiness? to myself and to you
bring you Plautus, with my tongue, not with my hand: I
that you will receive him with favouring ears. Now learn
argument, and give your attention; in as few words as
sible will I be brief. And, in fact, this subject is a G
one; still, it is not an Attics, but a Sicilian one F
their Comedies the poets do this; they feign that a
business takes place at Athens, in order that it may a
1 In the first)-Ver. 1. This Play was the foundation of Shakspeare's
of Errors. See the Note at the end of the Play.
2 Health and happiness)—Ver. 1. "Salutem propitiam." Literally, “
tious health.”
P
3 It is not an Attic)-Ver. 7. "Græcissat-Atticissat-Sicelissat." Per
these words might be more literally translated, "Græcizo," "Atticize,"
"Sicilicize."
* At Athens)—Ver. 10. As the majority of the Greek Comic Poets were ei
natives of, or residents at,. Athens, they would naturally take that exten
opulent, and bustling city as the scene of many of their Comedies. In the
of Plautus, Greek was yet the language of the Sicilians. In Cicero's time
language of the Sicilians was a mixture, partly Greek and partly Latin. Apuler
informs us that in his day they spoke Greek, Latin, and a language peculia
themselves, called the Sicilian,


MENACHMI
more Grecian to you. I will not tell you that this ma
pened anywhere except where it is said to have happer
s has been my preface to the subject of this play. N
I give the subject, meted out to you, not in a meas
yet in a threefold measure¹, but in the granary its
great is my heartiness in telling you the plot.
There was a certain aged man, a merchant at Syracuse2;
h two sons were born, twins, children so like in appeara
t their own foster-mothers, who gave the breast, v
able to distinguish them, nor even the mother herself w
l given them birth; as a person, indeed, informed me w
seen the children; I never saw them, let no one of y
After the children were now seven years old, t
y so.
er freighted a large ship with much merchandize. T
er put one of the twins on board the ship, and took hi
y, together with himself, to traffic at Tarentum¹; the oth
he left with his mother at home. By accident, there we
hes at Tarentum when he came there: many persons,
erally happens at the games, had met together; the ch
yed away there from his father among the people. A c
merchant of Epidamnus was there; he picked up th
d, and carried it away to Epidamnus. But its father, afte
had lost the child, took it heavily to heart, and throug
f at it he died a few days after at Tarentum. Now, afte
s reached the grandfather of the children at home abou
s matter, how that one of the children had been stolen, th
ndfather changed the name of that other twin. So much
he love that one which had been stolen, that he gave hi
threefold measure)—Ver. 15. "Trimodius." This was a measure fo
onsisting of three "modii," which last contained about a peck of English
e.
Syracuse)-Ver. 17. Syracuse was the principal city of Sicily famed for
commerce and opulence.
Foster-mother)—Ver. 19. "Mater." Literally, "mother.'
At Tarentum)-Ver. 27. Tarentum was a city of Calabria, in the south of
y. It was said to have been founded by the Lacedæmonians.
To Epidamnus)-Ver. 33. Epidamnus, or Epidamnum, was a town of Mace
a, situate on the Adriatic Sea. It was much resorted to for the purpose of
nsit to the opposite shores of Italy. It received its original name from Epidamnus
of its kings; but on falling into the possession of the Romans, they changed its
he, as we are informed by Pliny the Elder, into Dyrrachium, from a superstitious
tion that when they were going to "Epidamnum," they were going
แ to their
ss," as "damnum" is the Latin for "loss" or "destruction," and 'emì, or “epi,
the Greek preposition ignifying to Cicero was banished to this place.
OR, THE TWIN-BROTHERS.
321
name to the one that was at home. That you may not mis-
take hereafter, I tell you then this beforehand; the name of
both the twin-brothers is the same. He gave the same
name of Menæchmus to this one as the other had; and by the
same name the grandfather himself was called. I remember
his name the more easily for the reason that I saw him cried
with much noise¹. Now must I speed back on foot to Epi-
damnus, that I may exactly disclose this matter to you. If
any one of you wishes anything to be transacted for him at
Epidamnus, command me boldly and speak out; but on these
terms, that he give me the means by which it may be transacted
for him. For unless a person gives the money, he will be mis-
taken; (in a lower tone) except that he who does give it will be
very much more mistaken³. But I have returned to that place
whence I set forth, and yet I am standing in the self-same spot.
This person of Epidamnus, whom I mentioned just now, that
stole that other twin child, had no children, except his wealth.
He adopted as his son the child so carried off, and gave him
a well-portioned wife, and made him his heir when he himself
died. For as, by chance, he was going into the country, when
it had rained heavily, entering, not far from the city, a rapid
stream, in its rapidity it threw the ravisher of the child off
his legs, and hurried the man away to great and grievous
destruction. And so a very large fortune fell to that youth.
Here (pointing to the house) does the stolen twin now dwell.
Now that twin, who dwells at Syracuse, has come this day to
Epidamnus with his servant to make enquiry for this own
twin-brother of his. This is the city of Epidamnus while
this play is acting; when another shall be acted, it will
become another town; just as our companies, too, are wont
to be shifted about. The same person now acts the procurer,
now the youth, now the old man, the pauper, the beggar, the
king, the parasite, the soothsayer
***
*
*
***
*
**
*
*
***
**
*
1 Cried with much noise)-Ver. 48. Probably the word "flagitarier" means
that the lost child was cried publicly by the "præco," or "crier."
2 If any one of you)-Ver. 51. This is said facetiously to the Audience for
322
Act 1
MENÆCHMI;
ACT I.-SCENE I.
Enter PENICULUS
PEN. The young men have given me the name of Peni-
culus¹, for this reason, because when I eat, I wipe the tables
clean. *
*
*
*
**
**
*
*
**
The persons who bind captives with chains, and who put
fetters upon runaway slaves, act very foolishly, in my opinion
at least. For if bad usage is added to his misfortune for a
wretched man, the greater is his inclination to run away and
to do amiss. For by some means or other do they release them-
selves from the chains; while thus fettered, they either wear
away a link with a file, or else with a stone they knock out
the nail; 'tis a mere trifle this. He whom you wish to keep
securely that he may not run away, with meat and with drink
ought he to be chained; do you bind down the mouth of a
man to a full table. So long as you give him what to eat and
what to drink at his own pleasure in abundance every day,
i' faith he'll never run away, even if he has committed an
offence that's capital; easily will you secure him so long as
you shall bind him with such chains. So very supple are
these chains of food, the more you stretch them so much
the more tightly do they bind. But now I'm going directly
to Menæchmus; whither for this long time I have been sen-
tenced, thither of my own accord I am going, that he may
enchain me. For, by my troth, this man does not nourish
persons, but he quite rears and reinvigorates them; no one
administers medicine more agreably. Such is this young
man; himself with a very well-stocked larder, he gives dinners
fit for Ceres²; so does he heap the tables up, and piles so vast
of dishes does he arrange, you must stand on your couch if you
wish for anything at the top. But I have now had an interval
these many days, while I've been lording it at home all along
¹ Name of Peniculus)—Ver. 77. This word means "a sponge" which was
fastened to a stick, and was used for the purpose of cleansing tables. He says
that the youths so called him from his own propensity for clearing the tables of
Se. II.
323
OR, THE TWIN-BROTHERS.
together with my dear ones¹;-for nothing do I eat or pur-
chase but what it is most dear. But inasmuch as dear ones,
when they are provided, are in the habit of forsaking us, I am
now paying him a visit. But his door is opening; and see, 1
perceive Menæchmus himself; he is coming out of doors.
SCENE II.—Enter MENECHMUS of Epidamnus, from his house.
MEN. (speaking at the door to his WIFE within). Unless
you were worthless, unless you were foolish, unless you were
stark wild and an idiot, that which you see is disagreable to
your husband, you would deem to be so to yourself as well.
Moreover, if after this day you do any such thing to me, I'll
force you, a divorced woman, turned out of my doors to go visit
your father. For as often as I wish to go out of the house,
you are detaining me, calling me back, asking me questions;
whither I am going, what matter I am about, what business
I am transacting, what I am wanting, what I am bringing,
what I have been doing out of doors? I've surely brought
home a custom-house officer2 as my wife; so much am I
obliged to disclose all my business, whatever I have done and
am doing. I've had you hitherto indulged too much. Now,
therefore, I'll tell you how I am about to act. Since I find
you handsomely in maids, provisions, wool, gold trinkets,
garments, and purple, and you are wanting in nought, you'll
beware of a mischief if you're wise; you'll leave off watching
your husband. (In a lower voice.) And therefore, that you
mayn't be watching me in vain, for your pains I shall find me a
mistress to-day, and invite her to dinner somewhere out of doors.
PEN. (apart). This fellow pretends that he's upbraiding
his wife, but he's addressing myself; for if he does dine out of
doors, he really is punishing nie, not his wife.
MEN. (to himself). Hurra! I' troth, by my taunts I've
driven wife from the door at last. Where now are your
my
1 With my dear ones)-Ver. 105. "Cum caris meis." When he says this, it
might be supposed that he is meaning his family by these words of endearment.
The next line shows that such is not the case. He has had a supply of victuals,
purchased at his own cost; he has been consuming these vietuals, and right dear
(carissimum) has he found them. He is now coming out to look for Menæchmus,
and to make up for lost time.
2 A custom-house officer)-Ver. 117. The "portitores" examined those who
landed or embarked at any port, to see that they had no merchandize about them
which had not paid duty. They also made the necessary enquiries who the par-
ties were, and what was their destination. He compares his wife to one of these
inquisitive peraona
324
Act I.
MENÆCHMI;
intriguing husbands? Why do they hesitate, all returning
thanks, to bring presents to me who have fought so gallantly?
This mantle of my wife's (taking it from under his cloak)
I've just now stolen from in-doors, and I'm taking it to my
mistress. This way it's proper for a clever trick to be played
this knowing husband-watcher. This is a becoming action,
this is right, this is skilful, this is done in workman-like style;
inasmuch as at my own risk I've taken this from my plague,
this same shall be carried off to destruction?. With the safety
of my allies³ I've gained a booty from the foe.
PEN. (aloud, at a distance). Harkye! young man; pray
what share have I4 in that booty?
MEN. I'm undone; I've fallen into an ambuscade.
PEN. Say a safeguard rather. Don't be afraid.
MEN. What person's this? PEN. 'Tis I.
him.)
(Coming up to
MEN. O my convenient friend-O my ready occasion.
save you.
PEN. And save you. (They shake hands.) MEN. What are
you about?
PEN. Holding my good Genius in my right hand.
MEN. You couldn't have come to me more à propos than
you have come.
MEN. I'm in the habit of doing so; I understand all the
points of ready occasion.
MEN. Would you like to be witness of a brilliant exploit ?
PEN. What cook has cooked it? I shall know at once if
he has made any mistake, when I see the remnants5.
¹ This mantle)-Ver. 130. The "palla," a kind of "mantle" or "cloak," was
worn indifferently by both sexes among the Greeks and Romans. This will
account for the circumstance of Menæchmus Sosicles wearing, as we shall see
in the sequel, the "palla" of a female, without expecting to attract the notice of
passers-by. The "palla," which by the prose writers is also called "pallium,"
was used for many other purposes than that of a garment. See Dr. Smith's
Dictionary of Greek and Roman Antiquities.
2 To destruction)—Ver. 133. “Ad damnum." He calls the Courtesan "dam-
""sheer loss" or "wastefulness" par éminence.
num,
3 Of my allies)—Ver. 134. By these he means the Courtesan Erotium and the
Parasite Peniculus, who have run no risk by helping him to filch away the
mantle.
4 What share have I)-Ver. 135. Thinking himself alluded to as one of the
'socii" or "allies," the Parasite immediately appears before him and asks what
tare, then, he is to have of the booty.
When I see the remnants)—Ver. 142. He thinks that Menæchmus is alluding
Sc. II.
325
OR, THE TWIN-BROTHERS.
MEN. Tell me―did you ever see a picture painted on a
wall, where the eagle is carrying off Ganymedel, or Venus
Adonis ?
PEN. Many a time. But what are these pictures to me?
MEN. Come, look at me². Do I at all bear any resem-
blance to them ?
PEN. What's this garb of yours?
MEN. Pronounce me to be a very clever fellow.
PEN. Where are we to feed ? MEN. Only do you say
that which I requested you.
PEN. Well, I do say so; very clever fellow.
MEN. And don't you venture to add anything of your
own to it?
PEN. And very pleasant fellow. MEN. Go on.
PEN. I' faith, I really can't go on, unless I know for what
reason. You've had a fall-out with your wife; on that
ground am I the more strongly on my guards against you.
MEN. While you are interrupting me, you are delaying
yourself.
PEN. Knock out my only eye, Menæchmus, if I speak
one word but what you bid me.
*
*
*
*
ΜΕΝ.
known to my wife, we will erect the funeral pile
where, un-
*
to something in the eating way, and says that he can tell whether the cook has
done his duty well or not, by only looking at the scraps of the entertainment.
¹ Ganymede)—Ver. 144. He is mentioned in the text under another name of
a gross nature. Ganymede was the son of Tros, King of Troy. Jupiter was said,
in the form of an eagle, to have carried him off, and made him cupbearer to the
Gods, in the place of Hebe, the Goddess of youth.
2 Come, look at me)-Ver. 145. Saying this, he probably takes the "palla"
from behind him, and putting it on, stalks about with it upon him. This he could
do without the risk of being seen by his wife, as on the Roman stage a number
of streets and lanes were seen to terminate, up which the actor would go a little
way to escape observation from a house situate just at the end of another street.
He means to ask the Parasite if he does not quite equal Ganymede or Adonis,
as represented in the pictures, by reason of his tasteful attire.
3 On
my guard)—Ver. 151. As Menæchmus has fallen out with his wife, the
Parasite thinks there is no chance of a "cœna" at his house. He is the more
careful then to make enquiries, lest Menæchmus should contrive to baulk him of
his banquet altogether.
My only eye) - Ver. 152. By this it appears that Peniculus has but
one eye. In the Curculio, the Parasite of that name is also represented as having
but one eye.
326
Act 1.
MENECHMI
*
this day¹ upon it.
*
**
and let us consume
PEN. Well, come then, since you request what's fair, how
soon am I to set fire to the pile? Why really, the day's half
dead already down to its navel2.
MEN. Come this way from the door.
PEN. Be it so. (Moves from the door.) MEN. Come still
more this way.
PEN. Very well. (Moves.) MEN. Even still, step aside
boldly from the lioness's den.
PEN. (still moving). Well done; by my troth, as I fancy,
you really would be an excellent charioteer.
MEN. Why so? PEN. That your wife mayn't follow you,
you are looking back ever and anon.
MEN. But what say you? PEN. What, I? Why, whatever
you choose, that same do I say, and that same do I deny.
MEN. Could you make any conjecture at all from the
smell, if perchance you were to take a smell at something?
PEN. Were the college of Augurs summoned
*
**
*
**
*
*
MEN. (holds out the skirt of the mantle). Come then, take
a sniff at this mantle that I'm holding. What does it smell
of? Do you decline ?
PEN. It's as well to smell the top of a woman's garment;
for at this other place the nose is offended with an odour
that can't be washed out.
MEN. (holding another part). Take a smell here then,
Peniculus, as you are so daintily nice.
PEN. Very well. (He smells it.)
What does it smell of ? Answer me.
MEN. How now?
1 Let
consume this day)—Ver. 155. He supposes the day to be dead so far
as business is concerned; the "coena," which generally commenced about three
o'clock in the afternoon (and sometimes, perhaps, the "prandium" as well), was
followed by "potatio" or "drinking," which by such characters as Menæchmus
and the Parasite would be prolonged to midnight, when they would see the day
dead, and celebrate its funeral in their orgies.
2 To its navel)-Ver. 157. "Umbilicus," the "navel," was a term much used
to signify the middle part of anything. Thus Delphi was called the "umbilicus,"
or "navel," of the world.
³ An excellent charioteer)—Ver. 160. The drivers of the chariots at the Circen-
gian games were called "agitatores." Of course they would look back every nɔw
and then to see how near their opponents were, that they might keep the lead
Sc. III.
327
OR, THE TWIN-BROTHERS,
*
PEN. Theft, a mistress, and a breakfast. To you
*
*
*
MEN. You have spoken out
*
*
*
*
** now it shall be taken to this mistress of mine,
the Courtesan Erotium. I'll order a breakfast at once to be
got ready, for me, you, and her; then will we booze away
even to the morrow's morning star.
PEN. Capital. You've spoken out distinctly. Am I to
knock at the door then?
MEN. Knock-or hold, rather. PEN. You've removed¹
the goblet a full mile by that.
MEN. Knock gently. PEN. You're afraid, I think, that
the doors are made of Samian crockery. (Goes to knock.)
MEN. Hold, prithee, hold, i' faith; see, she's coming out
herself. (The door of EROTIUM's house is opened.) Ha
you behold the sun, is it not quite darkened in comparison
with the bright rays of her person.
SCENE III.-Enter EROTIUM, from her house.
ERO. My life, Menæchmus, save you.
PEN. And what for me? ERO. You are out of my
number.
*
*
*
*
that
PEN.
same thing is wont to be done for the other supernumeraries?
of the legion.
MEN. I would order a skirmish to be got ready there at
vour house for me to-day.
ERO. To-day it shall be done.
MEN. In that skirmish we two shall drink. Him shall
you choose that shall be found there the better warrior with
the goblet; do you make up your mind with which of the
two you'll pass this night. How much, my love, when I look
upon you, do I hate my wife.
1 You've removed) — Ver. 178. Peniculus now loses patience, and reflects
that there is many a slip between the cup and the lip.
2 Supernumeraries)—Ver. 184. The "adscriptivi," who were also called "ac-
censi," were a body of reserve troops who followed the Roman army without any
military duties to perform, and who were drafted off to supply the deficiencies
in the legions. In battle they were placed in the rear of the army. Of course
they could not claim the same advantages as the regular soldier; and his own
position is likered by the Parasite to theirs.
328
Act 1.
MENÆCHMI;
ERO. Meantime, however, you cannot help being wrapped in
something of hers. What's this? (Takes hold of the mantle.)
MEN. (taking it off). 'Tis a new dress for you, and a spoil
from¹ my wife, my rosebud.
ERO. You have a ready way of prevailing, so as to be
superior in my eyes to any one of those that pay me suit.
(Embraces him.)
PEN. (aside). The harlot's coaxing in the meantime, while
she's looking out what to plunder
*
*
*
*
*
***
* (to EROTIUM) for if you really loved him, by
this his nose ought to have been off with your teething him.
MEN. Take hold of this, Peniculus: I wish to dedicate the
spoil that I've vowed.
PEN. Give it me. (Holds it while MENECHMUS puts it on.)
But, i' faith, prithee, do dance afterwards with the mantle on
in this way.
MEN. I-dance? I' faith, you're not in your senses.
PEN. Are you or I the most? If you won't dance, ther
take it off.
MEN. (to EROTIUM). At a great risk have I stolen this to-
day. In my opinion, indeed, Hercules didn't ever carry off
the belt from Hippolyta³ with danger as great. Take this for
yourself (he takes it off, and gives her the mantle), since you
are the only one alive that's compliant with my humours.
ERO. With such feelings 'tis proper that real lovers should
be animated.
PEN. (aside). Those, indeed, who are making haste to bring
themselves down to beggary.
MEN. I purchased that for my wife a year since at the
price of four minæ.
PEN. (aside). The four mina are clearly gone for ever, as
the account now stands.
¹ A spoil from)-Ver. 191. "Exuvia" means either the slough or cast skin of
a snake, or the spoil taken from the enemy. Perhaps the latter is the sense in
which it is here meant, as he has described his operations as a perfect campaign.
2 With your teething him)--Ver. 195. Judging from this remark, perhaps she
has accidentally forgotten to kiss her dupe, Menæchmus.
3 From Hippolyta)-Ver. 200. Hercules was commanded by Eurystheus to
obtain the belt or girdle of Hippolyta, or Antiope, the Queen of the Amazons.
This he effected, and gave her in marriage to his companion Theseus, by whom,
after giving birth to Hippolytus, she was put to death. Some accounts, however,
state that she was slain by Hercules.
Sc. IV.
329
OR, THE TWIN-BROTHERS.
MEN. Do you know what I wish you to attend to?
ERO. I don't know; but I'll attend to whatever you do wish.
MEN. Order a breakfast, then, to be provided for us three
at your house, and some dainties to be purchased at the
market; kernels of boars' neck, or bacon off the gammon¹, or
pig's head, or something in that way, which, when cooked
and placed on table before me, may promote an appetite like
a kite's: and-forthwith
}
ERO. I' faith, I will. MEN. We're going to the Forum:
we shall be here just now. While it's cooking, we'll take a
whet in the meantime.
ERO. Come when you like, the things shall be ready.
MEN. Only make haste, then. Do you follow me (to PENI-
CULUS).
PEN. By my troth, I certainly shall keep an eye on you, and
follow you. 'I wouldn't take the wealth of the Gods to lose
you this day. (Exeunt MENECHMUS and PENICULUS.
ERO. (speaking at the door of her house). Call Cylindrus,
the cook, out of doors this moment from within.
SCENE IV. Enter CYLINDRUS, from the house.
ERO. Take a hand-basket and some money. See, you have
three didrachms here. (Giving him money.)
CYL. I have so. ERO. Go and bring some provisions,
see that there's enough for three; let it be neither deficient
nor overmuch.
CYL. What sort of persons are these to be?
ERO. Myself, Menæchmus, and his Parasite.
CYL. Then these make ten, for the Parasite easily performs
the duty of eight persons2.
ERO. I've now told you the guests; do you take care of
the rest.
CYL. Very well. It's cooked already; bid them go and
take their places.
ERO. Make haste back. CYL. I'll be here directly.
(Exit CYLINDRUS, and EROTIUM goes into her house.
¹ Bacon off the gammon)-Ver. 210. He facetiously calls bacon "pernonides;"
literally, "the son of the gammon."
2 Duty of eight persons)-Ver. 223. Athenæus, Book I., quotes a passage from
Eubulus, the Comic writer, where he represents a Parasite as being counted or
two or even three at table.
330
Act IL
MENÆCHMI;
ACT II.-SCENE I.
Enter MENECHMUS SOSICLES and MESSENIO.
MEN. Sos. There's no greater pleasure to voyagers, in my
notion, Messenio, than at the moment when from sea they
espy the land afar.
MESS. There is a greater, I'll say it without subterfuge,-
if on your arrival you see the land that is your own. But,
prithee, why are we now come to Epidamnus? Why, like
the sea, are we going round all the islands?
MEN. Sos. To seek for my own twin-brother born?
MESS. Why, what end is there to be of searching for him?
This is the sixth year that we've devoted our attention to this
business. We have been already carried round the Istrians¹,
the Hispanians, the Massilians, the Illyrians, all the Upper
Adriatic Sea, and foreign Greece, and all the shores of
Italy, wherever the sea reaches them. If you had been
searching for a needle, I do believe you would, long ere this,
have found the needle, if it were visible. Among the living
are we seeking a person that's dead; for long ago should we
have found him if he had been alive.
MEN. Sos. For that reason I am looking for a person to
give me that information for certain, who can say that he
knows that he really is dead; after that I shall never take
any trouble in seeking further. But otherwise I shall never,
while I'm alive, desist; I know how dear he is to my heart.
MESS. You are seeking a knot in a bulrush³. Why don't
we return homeward hence, unless we are to write a history¹?
¹ The Istrians)—Ver. 235. The Istrians were a people of the north of Italy,
near the Adriatic Sea, and adjoining to Illyricum. The Illyrians inhabited the
countries now called Dalmatia and Sclavonia. The Massilians were the natives
of the city of Massilia, now called Marseilles, in the south of France, where
Pontius Pilate ended his days in banishment. The Hispani were the inhabitants
of Hispania, now Spain.
2 And foreign Greece)-Ver. 236. The "Græcia exotica," or "foreign Greece,"
here mentioned, was the southern part of Italy, which was also called "Magna
Græcia," in consequence of the great number of Grecian settlements there. The
Greeks were in the habit of calling the Sicilians and Calabrians "Eλλnvas
ἐξωτικούς,
¿EwTIKOùs, "barbarian" or "foreign Greeks."
3 In a bulrush)—Ver. 247. Those who made difficulties when there really was
no difficulty at all, were said "in scirpo nodum quærere," "to seek a knot in a
bulrush," the stem of which is perfectly smooth.
To write a history)-Ver. 248. A narrative or history of their travels.
Boxhorn thinks that the remark alludes to the voyage of Ulysses, a counterpart
Sc. I.
331
OR, THE TWIN-BROTHERS.
MEN. Sos. Have done with your witty sayings, and be on
your guard against a mischief. Don't you be troublesome;
this matter shan't be done at your bidding.
MESS. (aside). Aye, aye; by that same expression do I rest
assured that I'm a slave; he couldn't in a few words have said
more in a plain-spoken way. But still I can't restrain myself
from speaking. (Aloud.) Do you hear, Menæchmus? When
I look in the purse, I find, i' faith, we're only equipped for our
journey like summer travellers¹. By my troth, I guess, if you
don't be returning home, while you're seeking your twin-
brother, you'll surely be groaning, when you have nothing
left. For such is this race of people; among the men of
Epidamnus there are debauchees and very great drinkers;
swindlers besides, and many wheedlers are living in this city
then the women in the harlot line are said nowhere in the
world to be more captivating. The name of Epidamnus was
given to this city for the very reason, because hardly any
person sojourns here without some damnable mishap³.
MEN. SOS. I'll guard against that. Just give me the purse
this way.
MESS. What do you want with it?
MEN. Sos. I'm apprehensive then about yourself, from
your expressions.
MESS. Why are you apprehensive? MEN. Sos. Lest you
should cause me some damnable mishap in Epidamnus. You
are a great admirer of the women, Messenio, and I'm a pas-
sionate man, of an unmanageable disposition; of both these
things will I have a care, when I've got the money, that you
shall not commit a fault, and that I shall not be in a passion
with you.
MESS. (giving him the purse). Take and keep it; with all
my heart you may do so.
of which voyage could not be written without great personal observation, and an
extensive knowledge of geography.
¹ Like summer travellers)—Ver. 255. Of course lighter garments and a less
weight of luggage would be carried by travellers in the heat of summer
"" twin-
2 You'll surely be groaning)—Ver. 257. He mtends a puerile play upon the
resemblance of the words "gemes," "will be groaning," and "geminum,'
brother."
3 Some damnable mishap)-Ver. 264. "Sine damno." Literally, "without
mischief" or ((
mishap." He puns on the resemblance of "damnum" to "Epi-
damnum." An attempt has been made in the translation to preserve the resem-
blance in some degree.
332
Act II.
MENECHMI ;
SCENE II.-Enter CYLINDRUS, with a basket of provisions.
CYL. I've catered well, and to my mind. I'll set a good
breakfast before the breakfasters.
But see, I perceive Me-
næchmus. Woe to my back; the guests are now already
walking before the door, before I've returned with the pro-
visions. I'll go and accost him. Save you, Menæchmus.
MEN. SOS. The Gods bless you, whoever you are.
*
*
*
*
*
CYL.
who I am?
MESS. I' faith, not I, indeed. CYL. Where are the other
guests?
MEN. SOS. What guests are you enquiring about ?
CYL. Your Parasite. MEN. Sos. My Parasite ? Surely
this fellow's deranged.
MESS. Didn't I tell you that there were many swindlers
here?
MEN. Sos. What Parasite of mine, young man, are you
enquiring about?
CYL. Peniculus. MEN. Sos. *
Where is my
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
?
MESS. See, I've got your sponge¹ [Peniculus] all safe in
the wallet.
CYL. Menæchmus, you've come here too soon for breakfast ;
I'm but now returning with the provisions.
MEN. Sos. Answer me this, young man: at what price do
pigs sell here², unblemished ones, for sacrifice ?
CYL. At a didrachm a-piece.
MEN.Sos. (holding out his hand). Receive, then, a didrachm of
me; bid a sacrifice be made for you at my expense; for, by my
faith, I really am sure in very truth that you are deranged, who
are annoying me, a person that's a stranger, whoever you are.
CYL. I am Cylindrus; don't you know my name?
MEN. Sos. Whether you are Cylindrus or Caliendrua³,
¹ I've got your sponge)—Ver. 286. Menæchmus takes Cylindrus to mean as
though he were really talking about a "peniculus," or "sponge," used for the
purposes of a napkin. He turns to Messenio, and probably says (in the mutilated
passage), "Where is my peniculus ?" on which the servant, taking it out of the
vidulus," or travelling-bag, says, "Here it is, quite safe."
t
2 Do pigs sell here)—Ver. 289. Pigs without blemish were sacrificed to the Lares,
or household Gods, in behalf of those who were afflicted with insanity. Menæch-
mus Sosicles adopts this as a quiet way of telling Cylindrus that he must be mad.
3 Cylindrus or Culiendrus)-Ver. 295. Probably Cylindrus is so called from the
words "cylindrus," "a cylinder," in the sense of a "rolling-pin." Sosicles plays
Sc. Il.
333
OR, THE TWIN-BROTHERS.
confound you. I don't know you, and, in fact, I don't want
to know you.
CYL. Well, your name, however, is Menæchmus, that I do
know.
MEN. Sos. You speak like a sane person when you call me
by my name. But where have you known me?
CYL. Where have I known you, you who have Erotium,
this mistress of mine (pointing to the house), for your lady?
MEN. Sos. By my troth, I have not, nor do I know your-
self what person you are.
CYL. Not know who I am, who have many a time filled
the cups for your own self at our house, when you've beer
drinking?
MESS. Woe to me, that I've got nothing with which to
break this fellow's head.
MEN. Sos. Are you in the habit of filling the cups for me,
who, before this day, have never beheld Epidamnus, nor been
there ?
CYL. Do you deny it? MEN. Sos. Upon my honor, I
decidedly do deny it.
CYL. Don't you live in that house?
house of MENECHMUS of Epidamnus.)
(Pointing to the
MEN. Sos. May the Gods send to perdition those that live
there.
CYL. Surely, this fellow's mad, who is thus uttering curses
against his own self. Do you hear, Menæchmus ?
MEN. SOS. What do you want? CYL. If
CYL. If you take my
advice, that didrachm, which you just now promised to give
me-you would order, if you were wise, a pig to be procured
with it for yourself. For, i' faith, you really for sure are
not in your senses, Menæchmus, who are now uttering curses
against your own self.
MEN. Sos. Alas! By my faith, a very silly fellow, and an
annoyance to me.
CYL. (to MESSENIO). He's in the habit of often joking
with me in this fashion. How very droll he is, when his
wife isn't present. How say you-
you?
MEN. Sos. What do you mean, you rascal ?
CYL. (pointing to the basket). Has this that you see been
provided in sufficient quantity for three persons, or am
upon its resemblance to caliendrus," which perhaps meant a "peruke" or
น
wig," as the Latin word “caliendrum" had that signification,
334
Act II
MENÆCHMI;
I to provide still more for yourself and the Parasite and the
lady?
MEN. Sos. What ladies-what Parasites are you talking
about?
MESS. What, you villain, urges you to be an annoyance to
him ?
CYL. Pray what business have you with me? I don't
know you; I'm talking to this person, whom I do know.
MEN. Sos. By my troth, you are not a person in his right
senses, that I know for sure.
CYL. I'll have these things cooked directly; there shall be
no delay. Don't you be going after this anywhere at a dis-
tance from the house. Do you want anything?
MEN. Sos. You to go to utter and extreme perdition.
CYL. I' faith, 'twere better for you to go in-doors at
once and take your place, while I'm subjecting these things
to the strength of the fire¹. I'll go in-doors now, and tell
Erotium that you are standing here, that she may fetch you
away hence, rather than you be standing here out of doors.
(He goes into the house.)
SCENE III.-MENECHMUS SOSICLES, MESSENIO.
MEN. Sos. Is he gone then? He is gone. By my faith, I
find by experience that your words are not untrue.
MESS. Do you only be on your guard; for I do believe
that some woman in the harlot line is living here, as, in fact.
this madman said, who has just gone away from here.
MEN. Sos. But I wonder how he came to know my name,
MESS. I' faith, 'tis far from surprising: courtesans have
this custom; they send servant-boys and servant-girls down
to the harbour; if any foreign ship comes into port, they
enquire of what country it is, and what its name is; after
that, at once they set themselves to work, and fasten them-
selves upon him; if they inveigle him, they send him home a
ruined man. Now in this harbour there stands a piratical
craft, against which I really think that we must be on our
guard.
MEN. SOS. I' troth, you really counsel aright.
MESS. Then, in fine, shall I be sure that I've counselled
aright, if you are rightly on your guard.
Strength of the fire)-Ver. 330 Vulcani ad violentiam. Literally "to the
violence of Vulcan," the God of fire
Sc. IV.
335
OR, THE TWIN-BROTHERS.
MEN. Sos. Be silent for a moment, then; for the door
makes a noise. Let's see who's coming out from there.
MESS. Meanwhile, I'll lay this down. (He puts down the
wallet.) Do you keep watch upon these things, if you please,
you sailors¹.
SCENE IV. Enter EROTIUM, from her house.
ERO. (speaking to her SERVANTS within). Leave the door
ajar2 thus; begone. I don't want it shut: prepare, attend,
and provide within; what is requisite, let it be done. Lay down
the couches, burn the perfumes; neatness, that is the charm
for the minds of lovers. Our agreableness is for the lover's loss,
for our own gain. (To herself.) But where is he whom the
Cook said was in front of the house? O, I see him there-
one who is of service to me, and who profits me very much.
And right willingly is such usage shown to him, as he de-
serves to be of especial importance in my house. Now I'll
accost him; I'll address him of my own accord. (To ME-
NECHMUS.) My dear life, it seems wonderful to me that you
are standing here out of doors, for whom the door is wide
open, more so than your own house, inasmuch as this house
is at your service. Everything's ready as you requested and
as you desired; nor have you now any delay in-doors. The
breakfast, as you ordered, is prepared here; when you please,
you may go and take your place.
MEN. SOS. To whom is this woman addressing herself?
ERO. Why, I'm talking to yourself.
MEN. SOS. What business have I ever had with you, or have
I now ?
¹ You sailors)—Ver.350. Some Commentators think that by the words "navales
pedes" he means "oars," as being the feet, or source of motion to the ship, and
that Messenio puts his luggage upon some oars on the ground close by, telling
them to be good enough to keep it all safe. It is more probable, however,
that he is addressing some of the crew, perhaps the rowers who have carried the
luggage from the ship. Others suggest that the luggage-porters, who awaited
the arrival of ships with passengers and merchandize, are here referred to. This
line, in Cotter's translation, is rendered, "Observe these things now, if you
please. Behold the ship!" with this note, "Navales pedes, the oars of a ship, put
is the sip itself."! De l'Euvre ingeniously suggests that "pædes" is the
eo,reet, reading, and the word is the Greek Taidès Latinized, and signifymg.
Phe present instance, the "ship-boys" or "servants."
Leare the door ajar)—Ver. 351. Ladies of Erotium's character would find i
there souven and to have their doors ajar, that persons might step in unperceived.
beridos, in the present instance, she wishes the "janitor" not to shut the door, as
wet toeturn directly with Menæchimus.
336
Act
MENÆCHMI;
ERO. Troth, inasmuch as Venus has willed that you singly
above all I should exalt; and that not without your deserving
it. For, by my faith, you alone make me, by your kindnesses,
to be thriving.
MEN. Sos. For sure this woman is either mad or drunk,
Messenio, that addresses me, a person whom she knows not
in so familiar a way.
MESS. Didn't I say that these things are in the habit of
occurring here? The leaves are falling now; in comparison
with this, if we shall be here for three days, the trees will be
tumbling upon you. For to such a degree are all these
Courtesans wheedlers out of one's money. But only let me
address her. Harkye, woman, I'm speaking to you.
ERO. What's the matter? MESS. Where have you your-
self known this person
?
ERO. In that same place where he has known me for this
long time, in Epidamnus.
MESS. In Epidamnus? A man who, until this day, has
never put a foot here inside of this city.
ERO. Heyday! You are making fun, my dear Menæch-
But, prithee, why not go in? There, it will be more
suitable for you.
mus.
MEN. Sos. I' faith, this woman really does address me
rightly by my name. I wonder very much what's the meaning
of this business.
MESS. (aside). That purse that you are carrying has been
smelt out by her.
MEN. Sos. (aside). I' faith, and rightly have you put me
in mind. Take it, then; I'll know now whether she loves
myself or the purse most. (Gives him the purse.)
ERO. Let's go in the house to breakfast.
MEN. Sos. You invite me kindly; so far,
my thanks.
ERO. Why then did you bid me a while since prepare a
breakfast for you?
MEN. SOS. I, bid you prepare ?
ERO. Certainly you did, for yourself and your Parasite.
MEN. Sos. A plague, what Parasite ? Surely this woman
isn't quite right in her senses.
ERO. Peniculus. MEN. SOS. Who is this Peniculus
The one with which the shoes are wiped clean¹ ?
' Are wiped clean)-Ver. 391. "Baxa" or "baxex" were sandals made a
twigs or fibres. They were often worn on the stage by Comic actors, and probably
Sc. IV.
337
OR, THE TWIN-BROTHERS.
ERO. Him, I mean, who came with you a while ago, when
you brought me the mantle which you purloined from your
wife.
MEN. Sos. What do you mean? I, gave you a mantle,
which I purloined from my wife? Are you in your senses
Surely this woman dreamis standing, after the manner of a
gelding¹.
ERO. Why does it please you to hold me in ridicule, and
to deny to me things that have been done by you?
MEN. Sos. Tell me what it is that I deny after having
done it ?
ERO. That you to-day gave me your wife's mantle.
MEN. Sos. Even still do I deny it. Indeed, I never had
a wife, nor have I one; nor have I ever set my foot here
within the city gate since I was born. I breakfasted on board
ship; thence did I come this way, and here I met you.
ERO. See that now; I'm undone, wretched creature that
I am! What ship are you now telling me about?
MEN. Sos. A wooden one, weather-beaten full oft, cracked
full oft, many a time thumped with mallets. Just as the
implements of the furrier2; so peg is close to peg.
ERO. Now, prithee, do leave off making fun of me, and
step this way with me.
MEN. SOS.
*
*
*
*
*
for, madam, you are looking for some other person, I know
not whom, not me.
ERO. Don't I know you, Menæchmus, the son of your
father Moschus, who are said to have been born in Sicily,
at Syracuse, where King Agathocles reigned, and after
him Pintia³, the third Liparo, who at his death left the
kingdom to Hiero—which Hiero is now king?
on saying this, Menæchmus Sosicles points to his own. The Egyptians made them
of palm-leaves and papyrus. They were much worn by the philosophers of
ancient times. Probably the "peniculi," made of the tails of oxen, were much
used for the purpose of dusting shoes.
¹ Manner of a gelding)—Ver. 395. He compares her to a horse, which sleeps
and dreams (if it dreams at all) in a standing posture.
2 Of the furrier)-Ver. 404. The "pelio," "furrier" or "skinner," would
require a great many pegs in fastening down the skins for the purpose of stretch-
ing them. Meursius thinks that Plautus intends a sly bit here at Pellio, the bad
actor, who is mentioned in the Second Scene of the Second Act in the Bacchides.
If so, the joke is quite lost on us.
• After him Pintia)-Ver. 410. She is supposed, by the Commentators, to t
L
338
Act II.
MENÆCHMI
MEN. SOS. You say, madam, what is n ›t untrue.
MESS. By Jupiter, hasn't this woman come from there,
who knows you so readily?
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
MEN. Sos. (apart). Troth, I think she must not be denied.
MESS. (apart). Don't you do it. You are undone, if you
enter inside her threshold.
*
MEN. Sos. (apart). But you only hold your tongue
*
*
*
*
*
*
The matter
goes on well. I shall assent to the woman, whatever she shall
say, if I can get some entertainment. Just now, madam
(speaking to her in a low voice), I contradicted you not un-
designedly; I was afraid of that fellow, lest he might carry
word to my wife about the mantle and the breakfast. Now,
when you please, let's go in-doors.
ERO. Are you going to wait for the Parasite as well?
MEN. SOS. I'm neither going to wait for him, nor do I
care a straw for him, nor, if he should come, do I want him
to be admitted in-doors.
ERO. By my faith, I shall do that not at all reluctantly.
But do you know what I beg you to do ?
MEN. SOS. Only command ine what you will.
ERO. For you to take that mantle which you gave me
just now to the embroiderer's¹, that it may be trimmed
again, and that some work may be added which I want.
แ
purposely represented here as quite mistaken in her historical facts, and as making
nothing but a confused jumble of them. Some think that the words “Pintia” and
Liparo" are ablative cases; but it is much more probable that they are nomina-
tives. Gronovius thinks that one Phintias is alluded to, who, as we are told by
Diodorus Siculus, assumed the government at Agrigentum after the death of Aga-
thocles. He did not, however, reign at Syracuse. We do not learn from history
that Hiero received the government from Liparo, but, on the contrary, that his
virtuous character was the sole ground for his election to the sovereignty. Lipara
was the name of one of the Æolian islands (now called the Isles of Lipari), not far
from the coast of Sicily. Some think that she means to call Agathocles by the
additional names of Plintias (and not Pintia) from Tλvròs, "pottery," as he
had exercised the trade of a potter, and of "Liparo," from the Greek Avπηpòs,
“savage,” by reason of the cruelty of which he was guilty in the latter part of his
life. This notion seems, however, to be more fanciful than well-founded.
1 To the embroiderer's)—Ver. 425. "Phrygionem." As the natives of Phrygia
were very dexterous at embroidering, and their services were much sought for the
purposes of luxury, all embroiderers in time came to be called "phrygiones.
Sc. 1V.
339
OP, THE TWIN-BROTHERS.
MEN. SOS. I' faith, you say what's right; in such a way
shall it be disguised that my wife shan't know that you are
wearing it, if she should see you in the street.
ERO. Then take it away with you just now,
when you go
away.
MEN. Sos. By all means.
into her house.)
ERO. Let's go in-doors. (Goes
MEN. Sos. I'll follow you this instant; I only wish to
speak to this person. So, there! Messenio, step to me this
way.
MESS. What's the matter?
MESS. What need for it?
know what you'll say to me-
MESS. So much the worse.
*
*
*
*
MEN. Sos. Listen.
MEN. SOS. There is need. I
MEN. Sos. Hold your tongue
*
*
*
I've got some spoil; thus much of the business have I begun
upon. Go, and, as quick as you can, take away those people¹,
at once to an inn2. Then do you take care to come and
meet me³ before sunset.
MESS. Don't you know that these people are harlots,
master ?
MEN. Sos. Hold your tongue, I say, and go you away
from
here. It will cost me pain, not you, if I do anything here
that's foolish. This woman is silly and inexperienced. So
far as I've perceived just now, there's some spoil for us here.
(He goes into the house of EROTIUM.)
MESS. I'm undone. Are you going away then? He is
certainly ruined; the piratical craft is now leading the boat
straight to destruction. But I'm an unreasonable fellow
to wish to rule my master; he bought me to obey his orders,
Cotter renders "ad phrygionem" here "to Phrygia," and so throughout the
whole play!
¹ Those people)—Ver. 436. By "istos" he probably means the sailors or porters
who were carrying the luggage.
2 To an inn)—Ver. 436. The accommodation of the "taberna diversoria,' or
'diversorium," was generally of a humble kind, and these places were mostly
adapted for the poorer classes only.
3 Come and meet me)—Ver. 437. That is, as his "adversitor," which was the
title given to the servant wose duty it was to fetch his master home in the even-
ing.
z 2
340
MENACHMI
Act. III.
not to be his commander. (To the ATTENDANTS.) Follow
me, that, as I'm ordered, I may come in good time to meet
my master.
ACT III.-SCENE I.
Enter PENICULUS.
PEN. More than thirty years have I been born yet during
that time I never did any more mischievous or more evil trick
than this day, when, to my misfortune, I thrust myself into
the midst of the assembly. while I was gaping about there,
Menæchmus stole away from me, and went, I suppose, to
his mistress, and didn't want to take me. May all the
Divinities confound that man who first mischievously devised
the holding of an assembly, which keeps men thus engaged.
By my troth, is it not fitting that men who are disengaged
should be chosen for that purpose? These, when they are
cited, if they are not present, let the officers exact the fine?
forthwith **
**
*
*
*
**
*
*
*
the senate
Abundance of men
are there who every day eat their victuals alone, who have no
business, who are neither invited nor invite to feast; these
ought to give their attendance at the assembly and the
law-courts³. If so it had been, this say I shouldn't have
lost my breakfast; to which I deemed myself as much ac-
customed, as to see myself alive. I'll go; even yet the hope
of the scraps comforts my mind. But why do I see Menæch-
mus here? He's coming out of doors with a chaplet on? The
banquet is removed; i' faith, I come just in time to meet him.
I'll watch the fellow, what he's about, then I'll go and accost
him. (He steps aside.)
¹ Midst of the assembly)—Ver. 448. This "concio" was the sitting of the court
for the trial of causes, to which we shall find further reference in the sequel,
when it is explained how he happened to lose sight of Menæchmus.
2 Exact the fine)--Ver. 454. He suggests that Menæchmus has possibly been
summoned, in his capacity as a citizen, to the "concio," for the purpose of being
present at the trials going on. The Parasite curses this custom, and wishes that
they would summon only the idle men, and not those engaged in the important
Lusiness of feasting their friends. There is some doubt as to the meaning of
census capiant," but it probably significs 'let them exact the fine."
*L
3 And the law-courts)-Ver. 459. The
ferred to in a previous Note.
comitia" of the Romans have been re-
Sc. II.
311
OR, THE TWIN-BROTHERS.
SCENE II.—Enter MENECHMUS SOSICLES, from the house of
EROTIUM, with the mantle on.
MEN. Sos. (speaking to EROTIUM within). Can't you rest
content, if this day I bring it you back in good time, nicely
and properly trimmed? I'll cause you to say it isn't itself,
so much shall it be disguised.
PEN. (apart). He's carrying the mantle to the embroi-
derer's, the breakfast finished and the wine drunk up, and
the Parasite shut out of doors. By my troth, I'm not the
person that I am, if I don't handsomely avenge this injury
and myself. 'Tis requisite I should watch *
**
*
*
I'll give something.
*
*
*
*
*
*
MEN. Sos. (to himself). O ye immortal Gods! on what
man ever have you conferred more blessings in one day, who
hoped for less? I've been breakfasting, drinking, feasting
with a mistress; and I've carried off this mantle, of which
she shall no more be owner after this day.
PEN. Isn't he now talking about me, and my share of the
repast? I can't well hear what he says.
MEN. Sos. (to himself). She says that I secretly gave her
this, and that I stole it away from my wife. When I per-
ceived that she was mistaken, at once I began to assent, as
though I really had had acquaintanceship with her. What-
ever the woman said, the same said I. What need of many
words? I was never entertained at less expense.
PEN. (apart). I'll accost the fellow; for I quite long to
have a row.
MEN. Sos. Who's this that's coming up towards me?
(Takes off the mantle, and hides it.)
PEN. What say you, you fellow lighter than a feather, most
rascally and most abandoned-you disgraceful man-you
cheat, and most worthless fellow? Why have I deserved
this of you? For what reason should you ruin me? How
you stole yourself away from me just now at the Forum.
You've been performing the funeral of the breakfast in my
absence. Why did you dare to do so, when I was entitled to
it in an equal degree?
MEN. Sos. Young man, prithee, what business with me
have you, who are thus purposely insulting a person whom
342
Act III.
MENECHMI
you know not? Do you wish a punishment to be given you
for your abuse?
PEN. Do be quiet; by my faith, I discover that you've done
that already indeed.
MEN. Sos. Answer me, young man, I beg; what is your
name?
PEN. Are you laughing at me, as well, as though you didn't
know my name?
MEN. SOS. By my troth, I never saw or knew you, that
I'm aware of, before this day; but at all events, whoever you
are, if you do what's right, you won't be an annoyance to me.
PEN. Don't you know me? MEN. Sos. I shouldn't deny
it if I did know you.
PEN. Menæchmus, awake.
awake, so far as I know.
MEN. Sos. I' troth, I really am
PEN. Don't you know your own Parasite ?
MEN. Sos. Young man, I find that your headpiece isn't
sound.
PEN. Answer me; have you not purloined that mantle
from your wife to-day, and given it to Erotium?
MEN. SOS. I' faith I have no wife, nor have I given the
mantle to Erotium, nor have I purloined it.
**
PEN. Are you really in your senses?
*'
**
*
**
*
*
* This matter's settled'.
Did I not see you coming out of doors clad in a mantle ?
MEN. Sos. Woe to your head. Do you think that all people
are effeminate rogues" because you are one? Do you declare
that I was clothed in a mantle ?
PEN. Troth, I really do. MEN. Sos. Why don't you go
where you are deserving to go, or else request yourself to be
atoned for, you downright madmanı ?
PEN. By my troth, never shall any one prevail upon me not
to tell your wife the whole matter now, just as it happened.
All these insults shall be retorted upon yourself. I'll take
care that you shan't have devoured the breakfast unpunished.
(He goes into the house of MENECHмUS of Epidamnus.)
MEN. Sos. What's the meaning of this business? Why,
'This matter's settled)-Ver. 512. "Occisa est hæc res." Literally, "this
matter is killed;" somewhat similar to our expression, "the murder is out."
? Effeminate rogues)-Ver. 514. "Cinados." Literally, "dancers" or "danc-
ing-masters," who, being effeminate persons, would be more likely to wear a
' palla" of gay colours.
Sc. III.
343
OR, THE TWIN-BROTHERS.
just as I see each person, do they all make fun of me
in this way? But the door makes a noise.
SCENE III.—Enter a MAID-SERVANT, from the house of
EROTIUM.
MAID. Menæchmus, Erotium says that she entreats you
much, that at the same opportunity you'll take this to the
goldsmith's, and add to it an ounce in weight of gold, and order
the bracelet¹ to be fashioned anew. (Gives him a bracelet.).
MEN. Sos. Tell her that I'll attend both to this and any-
thing else that she shall wish, if she wishes anything else
attended to.
MAID. Do you know what this bracelet is?
MEN. Sos. I don't know, unless it's of gold.
MAID. This is the same one that you once said that you
had secretly stolen out of the closet from
your
MEN. Sos. By my troth, 'twas never done.
MAID. Prithee, don't you remember it?
wife,
MEN. Sos. Not in the least. MAID. Give it me back
then, if you don't remember it. (Tries to take it.)
MEN. Sos. Stop. (Pretends to examine the bracelet.) 0
yes, I really do remember it; it's the same, I believe, that I
presented to her.
MAID. I' faith, it is the same. MEN. SOS. Where are the
clasps which I gave her together with them?
MAID. You never gave her any.
gave them together with this
**
*
*
*
*
*
MEN. Sos. Why, faith, I
*
*
**
*
MAID. Shall I say that you'll attend to it?
*
*
*
MEN. SOS. Do say so; it shall be attended to. I'll take care
that the mantle and the bracelet are brought back together.
MAID. My dear Menæchmus, do, pray, give me some ear-
rings, the pendants to be made two didrachms in weight;
1 Order the bracelet)-Ver. 527. "Spinter" or "spinther" is another name,
derived from the Greek σdiуkτýp, for the Latin "armilla" or bracelet. It received
its Greek name, from its keeping in its place by compressing the arm of the wearer.
Festus tells us that the bracelet called "spinter" was worn by the Roman ladies
on the left arm, while the "armilla" was worn on either.
2 Give me some earrings)—Ver. 541. The drops of the carrings were probably
to be of the weight of two didrachms. The earring was called among the
Romans "inauris," and by the Greeks evótiov. The Greeks also called
Móßiov, from its being inserted in the lobe of the ear. These ornaments were
P
344
Act IV.
MENÆCHMI;
1
that I may look on you with delight when you come to our
house.
MEN. Sos. Be it so. Give me the gold¹; I'll find the
price of the workmanship.
MAID. Give it yourself, please; at a future time I'll give
it you back.
MEN. Sos. No, give it yourself; at a future time I'll give
it you twofold.
MAID. I haven't any. MEN. Sos. But when you have it,
do you give it me, then.
MAID. Do you wish for aught? MEN. Sos. Say that I'll
attend to these things, (aside) to be sold as soon as they can,
and for what they'll fetch. (The MAID-SERVANT goes into
the house.) Has she now gone off in-doors? She's gone,
and has shut the door. Surely all the Gods are favouring,
amplifying, and prospering me. But why do I delay while
opportunity and time are granted me to get away from these
procurers' dens? Make haste, Menæchmus; pull foot and
quicken your pace. I'll take off this chaplet, and throw it
away on the left hand side (throws the chaplet down), that,
if they follow me, they may think I've gone in that direction.
I'll go and meet my servant, if I can, that he may learn from
me these blessings which the Gods confer upon me.
ACT IV. SCENE I.
Enter, from her house, the WIFE of MENECHMUS of Epi-
damnus, followed by PENICULUS.
WIFE. And shall I allow myself to remain in wedlock³
worn by both sexes among the Lydians, Persians, Libyans, Carthaginians, and
other nations. Among the Greeks and Romans, the females alone were in the
habit of wearing them. As with us, the earring consisted of a ring, and a drop,
called "stalagmium," the ring being generally of gold, though bronze was some-
times used by the common people. Pearls, especially those of elongated form,
called "elenchi," were very much valued for pendants.
1 Give me the gold)—Ver. 544. He asks for the gold with the intention of steal-
ingit; for, in spite of their wealth, it is evident, from this, and what appears in the
sequel, that both he and his brother are by nature arrant thieves.
2 Take off this chaplet)—Ver. 555. This he had been wearing at the " pran-
dium," or "breakfast," at Erotium's house. The latter appears to be a more
fitting name for a meal that was taken generally about twelve o'clock; while
"the coena," which commenced in general at about three, carnot with propriety be
termed anything else than a "dinner."
• To remain in wediosk)-Ver. 559. As already observed in the Notes to the
Sc. 11,
315
OR, THE TWIN-BROTHERS.
here, when my husband secretly pilfers whatever's in the
house, and carries it thence off to his mistress ?
PEN. Why don't you hold your peace? I'll let you now
catch him in the fact; do you only follow me this way.
(They go to the opposite side of the stage.) In a state of
drunkenness, with a chaplet on, he was carrying the mantle
to the embroiderer's, which he purloined from you at home
to-day. But see, here is the chaplet which he had on. (Seeing
the chaplet on the ground.) Now am I saying false? Aha.
this way has he gone, if you wish to trace his footsteps.
And, by my faith, see, here he comes on his way back most
opportunely, but he isn't wearing the mantle.
WIFE. What now shall I do to him?
PEN. The same as usual; abuse him.
WIFE. So I am resolved. PEN. Let's step aside this way
watch him from ambush. (They retire on one side.)
SCENE II.-Enter MENECHMUS of Epidamnus.
MEN. (to himself). How we do practise a custom here that is
very foolish and extremely troublesome, and how even those who
are the most worthy and great¹ do follow this habit: all wish
their dependants to be many in number; whether they are de-
serving or undeserving, about that they don't enquire. Their
property is more enquired about, than what the reputation of
their clients is for honor. If any person is poor and not
dishonest, he is considered worthless; but if a rich man is
dishonest, he is considered a good client. Those who neither
regard laws nor any good or justice at all, the same have
zealous patrons. What has been entrusted to them, they deny
to have been so entrusted; men full of litigation, rapacious,
and fraudulent; who have acquired their property either by
usury or by perjury; their whole pleasure is in litigation.
When the day for trial is appointed, at the same time it is
mentioned to their patrons, in order that they may plead for
Stichus and the Miles Gloriosus, the facilities for divorce, by reason of incompati-
bility and other circumstances, were very great among the Romans.
1 Most worthy and great)—Ver. 572. "Optumi maximi." This was properly
an epithet of Jupiter, and is, perhaps, satirically applied to the "little Gods," the
great men of Rome. In the previous line he uses "morus," the Greek word
Mopos, signtymg "foolish," on account of its resemblance to the word "more,
manno-" or "custom.”
346
Act IV.
MENECHMI;
them, about what they have done amiss. Before the people¹,
or at law before the Prætor, or before the Ædile, is the cause
tried. Just so, this day, a certain dependant has kept me
very much engaged, nor was it allowed me to do what I wished,
or in company with whom I wished; so fast did he stick to me,
so much did he detain me. Before the Edile, in behalf of
his doings, very many and very disgraceful, did I plead his
cause; a compromise I obtained, obscure and perplexed-
more than enough I said, and than I needed to say, that
surety for him² might end this litigation. What did he do?
Well, what? He gave bail. And never did I at any time
see any person more clearly detected; three very adverse wit
nesses against all his misdeeds were there. May all the Gods
confound him, he has so spoilt this day for me; and myself
as well, who ever this day beheld the Forum with my eyes.
I ordered a breakfast to be prepared; my mistress is expecting
me, I'm sure; as soon as ever I had the opportunity, I made
haste immediately to leave the Forum. Now, I suppose,
she's angry with me; the mantle, however, will appease her
that I gave her, the one I took away to-day from my wife
and carried to Erotium here.
*
PEN. (apart to the WIFE). What say you now?
WIFE (apart). That I'm unfortunately married to a worth-
less fellow.
1
PEN. (apart). Do you perfectly hear what he says?
WIFE (apart). Quite well. MEN. If I am wise, I shall
be going hence in-doors, where it may be comfortable for me.
PEN. (coming forward). Stop; on the contrary, it shall be
uncomfortable.
*
*
*
***
**
she
MEN.
is very sorrowful; this doesn't quite please me, but I'll
speak to her. Tell me, my wife, what is it amiss with you
?.
¹ Before the people)—Ver. 587. It is thought that he here refers to the three
modes of trial in civil cases among the Romans-" apud populum," before the
people in the Comitia centuriata, or full assembly; "in jure," before the "Prætor,"
or his delegates, the "Recuperatores" or "Judices selecti," "commissioned judges;"
and before the Ædile, or city officer. He says, that on being summoned to tha
"concio," a "cliens" or dependant suddenly accosted him, and insisted on his
defending him, which greatly detained him, but that in spite of the worthlessness
of his client's cause, he was at last successful in effecting a compromise.
2 That surety for him)—Ver. 592. He probably means that he gained time for
his client to pay the debt, on condition of his giving bail or security that te woule
do so within a certain time.
1
Sc. II.
347
OR, THE TWIN-BROTHERS.
PEN. (to the WIFE). The pretty fellow's soothing you.
MEN. Can't you cease being annoying to me? Did I ad-
dress you?
WIFE. (turning away from MENECHMUS). Take yourself
off-away with your caresses from me. Do you persist in it ?
MEN. Why are you offended with me?
WIFE. You ought to know. PEN. The rascal knows, but
he pretends not to know.
MEN. Has any one of the servants done amiss? Do either
the maid or the men-servants give you saucy answers? Speak
out; it shan't be done with impunity.
WIFE. You are trifling. MEN. Surely you are angry at
some one of the domestics?
WIFE. You are trifling. MEN. Are you angry with me
at all events?
WIFE. Now you are not trifling.
done wrong in anything.
MEN. I' faith, I haven't
WIFE. Ah! now you are trifling again.
MEN. Wife, what's the matter? WIFE. Do you ask me
that?
MEN. Do you wish me to ask him? (To PENICULUS.)
What's the matter?
WIFE. The mantle. MEN. The mantle ?
WIFE. A certain person has taken a mantle. (MENECH-
MUŞ starts.)
PEN. (to MENECHMUS). Why are you alarmed?
MEN. For my part, I'm not alarmed at all-(aside) except
about one thing; the mantle makes¹ my face mantle.
PEN. (aside to MENECHMUS). But as for me, you shouldn't
have slily devoured the breakfast. (To the WIFE.) Go on
against your husband.
MEN. (making signs to PENICULUS). Won't you hold your
tongue ?
PEN. Faith, I really will not hold my tongue. (To the
WIFE.) He's nodding to me not to speak.
MEN. On my word, I really never did nod to you, or wink
in any way.
¹ The mantle makes)—Ver. 616. "Palla pallorem incutit." In his alarm he
cannot avoid a pun on the resemblance between "palla," the "mantle," and
pallor," paleness. The meaning is, literally, "the mantle strikes paleness inte
me;" but an attempt is made in the Translation to imitate the play upon the words
348
Act IV.
MENACHMI;
PEN. Nothing is more audacious than this man, who reso-
lutely denies those things which you see.
MEN. By Jupiter and all the Gods, I swear, wife, that I
did not nod to him; isn't that enough for you?
PEN. She now believes you about that matter; go back
again there.
MEN. Go back where? PEN. Why, to the embroiderer,
as I suppose. Go and bring the mantle back.
MEN. What mantle is it? PEN. Now I hold my tongue,
since he doesn't remember his own business.
WIFE. Did you suppose that you could possibly commit
these villanies unknown to me? By heavens, you have as-
suredly taken that away from me at a heavy usury; such is
the return¹. (Shaking her fist.)
PEN. Such is the return. Do you make haste to eat up
the breakfast in my absence; and then in your drunken-
ness make fun of me, with your chaplet on, before the house.
MEN. By all the powers, I have neither breakfasted, nor
have I this day set foot inside of that house.
PEN. Do you deny it? MEN. By my troth, I really do
deny it.
PEN. Nothing is there more audacious than this fellow.
Did I not just now see you standing here before the house,
with a chaplet of flowers on, when you were declaring that
my headpiece wasn't sound, and declaring that you didn't
know me, and saying that you were a foreigner?.
MEN. On the contrary, as some time since I parted with
you, so I'm now returning home at last.
PEN. I understand you. You didn't think it was in my
power to take vengeance upon you; i' faith, I've told it all
to your wife.
MEN. Told her what? PEN. I don't know; ask her own
self.
MEN. (turning to his WIFE). What's this, wife? Pray, what
1 Such is the return)—Ver. 626. "Sie datur." Literally, "thus it is given,"
or "on these terms it is lent." Some Commentators will have it, that these
words are accompanied with a slap on the face, in which case they will be equiva-
lent to "there, take that." They may, however, simply mean, "such are the terms"
on which you had my mantle, "such are the results of your lending," hor
abuse and indignation, accompanied, perhaps, with a threat, being the "fonus,
or "interest" for the loan.
+
S. II.
349
OR, THE TWIN-BROTHERS
has he been telling you? What is it? Why are you silent?
Why don't you say what it is?
WIFE. As though you didn't know. I' faith, I certainly
am a miserable woman.
MEN. Why are you a miserable woman ? tell me.
WIFE. Do you ask me? MEN. Faith, I shouldn't ask
if I knew.
you
You
PEN. O the wicked fellow; how he does dissemble.
cannot conceal it; she knows the matter thoroughly; by my
faith, I've disclosed everything.
MEN. What is it? WIFE. Inasmuch as you are not at
all ashamed, and don't wish to confess of your own accord,
listen, and attend to this; I'll both let you know why I'm
korrowful, and what he has told me. My mantle has been
purloined from me at home.
MEN. Mantle purloined from me? PEN. (to the WIFE).
D'you see how the rogue is catching you up? (To ME-
NÆCHMUS.) It was purloined from her, not from you; for
certainly if it had been purloined from you, it would now
be safe.
MEN. (to PENICULUS). I've nothing to do with
(to his WIFE) what is it you say
?
you. But
WIFE. A mantle, I say, has been lost from home.
MEN. Who has stolen it? WIFE. I faith, he knows that,
who took it away.
MEN. What person was it? WIFE. A certain Me-
næchmus.
MEN. By my troth, 'twas villanously done. Who is this
Menæchmus ?
WIFE. You are he, I say. MEN. I?
WIFE. You. MEN. Who accuses me?
WIFE. I, myself. PEN. I, too; and you carried it off to
Erotium here, your mistress.
(C
""
MEN. I, gave it her? PEN. You, you, I say. Do you
wish for an owl¹ to be brought here, to say you, you," con-
tinually to you? For we are now quite tired of it.
MEN. By Jupiter and all the Gods, I swear, wife (and
isn't that enough for you ?), that I did not give it.
PEN. Aye, and I, by all the powers, that we are telling no
untruth.
1 Wish for an owl-Ver. 654. "Tu, tu." He alludes to toe cote of the owl
which to the Romans would seem to say (C tu, tu" "vou. vou.”
350
MENÆCHMI ;
Act IV.
MEN. But I haven't given it away, but just only lent it
to be made use of.
WIFE. But, i' faith, for my part, I don't lend either your
scarf or your cloak out of the house, to any one, to be made
use of.
'Tis fair that the woman should lend out of the
house the woman's apparel, the man the man's. But why
don't you bring the mantle home again?
MEN. I'll have it brought back. WIFE. For your own
interest you'll do so, as I think; for you shall never enter the
house to-day unless you bring the mantle with you. I'm
going home.
PEN. (to the WIFE). What's there to be for me, who have
given you this assistance?
WIFE. Your assistance shall be repaid, when anything
shall be purloined from your house. (The WIFE goes into
the house.)
PEN. Then, by my troth, that really will never be; for
nothing have I at home to lose. May the Gods confound
you, both husband and wife. I'll make haste to the Forum,
for I see clearly that I've quite fallen out with this family.
(Exit.
MEN. My wife thinks that she does me an injury when she
shuts me out of doors; as though I hadn't another better
place to be admitted into. If I displease you, I must endure
it; I shall please Erotium here, who won't be shutting me
out of her house, but will be shutting me up in her house
rather. Now I'll go; I'll beg her to give me back the mantle
that I gave her a while since. I'll purchase another for her-
a better one. Hallo! is any one the porter here? (Knocks
at EROTIUM's door.) Open here, and some one of you call
Erotium before the door.
SCENE III.—Enter EROTIUM, from her house.
ERO. Who's enquiring for me here?
MEN. One that's more of an enemy to his own self than
to yourself¹.
ERO. My dear Menæchmus? Why are you standing
before the house? Do follow me in-doors.
Than to yourself”)—Ver. 675. “Ætati tuæ." Literally, "to your age," a cir-
cumlocution for "yourself."
Sc. III.
351
OR, THE TWIN-BROTHERS.
MEN. Stop. Do you know why it is that I'm come to
you?
me.
ERO. I know well; that you may amuse yourself with
MEN. Why no, troth, that mantle which I gave you a
while since, give it me back, I entreat you; my wife has be-
come acquainted with all the transaction, in its order, just
as it happened. I'll procure for you a mantle of twofold
greater value than you shall wish.
ERO. Why, I gave it your own self a little while since,
that you might take it to the embroiderer's, and that bracelet,
too, that you might take it to the goldsmith's that it might
be made anew.
MEN. You, gave me the mantle and the bracelet? You'll
find 'twas never done. For, indeed, after I gave it you
a while ago, and went away to the Forum, I'm but just re-
turning, and now see you for the first time since.
ERO. I see what plan you are upon; that you may de-
fraud me of what I entrusted to you, at that thing you are
aiming-
MEN. On my word, I do not ask it for the sake of defraud-
ing you.
But I tell you that my wife has discovered the
matter.
ERO. Nor did I of my own accord beg you to give it
ne; of your own accord you yourself brought it me. You
gave it me as a present; now you're asking for the same
thing back again. I'll put up with it; keep it to yourself;
take it away; make use of it, either yourself or your wife, or
squeeze it into your money-box¹ even. After this day, that
you mayn't be deceived, you shan't set your foot in this
house, since you hold me in contempt, who deserve so well
of you. Unless you bring money, you'll be disappointed;
you can't cajole me. Find some other woman, henceforth,
for you to be disappointing.
MEN. By my troth, very angry at last.
stay, I bid you. Come you back.
Will
Hallo! you;
Will you stay now ?
you even for my sake come back? (EROTIUM goes into
her house, and shuts the door.) She has gone in-doors, and
shut the house. Now I'm regularly barred out; I have
¹ Into your money-box)—Ver. 691. "As you make so much fuss about it,
Ana it is so valuable, squeeze it up into your money-box."
352
Act V.
MENÆCHMI
neither any credit at home now, nor with my mistress. I'll
go and consult my friends on this matter, as to what they
think should be done.
ACT V.-SCENE I.
(Exit.
Enter MENECHMUS SOSICLES, with the mantle on.
MEN. Sos. I did very foolishly a while since, in entrusting
my purse to Messenio with the money. I suspect he has got
himself into some bad house¹ or other.
Enter the WIFE of MENACHMUS of Epidamnus, from the house.
WIFE. I'll look out to see how soon my husband is going
to return home. But here he is; I see him; I'm all right,
he's bringing back the mantle.
MEN. Sos. (to himself). I wonder where Messenio can be
walking now.
WIFE. I'll go and receive the fellow with such language as
he deserves. (Accosting him.) Are you not ashamed to come
forward in my presence, you disgraceful man, in that garb ?
MEN. Sos. What's the matter? What thing is troubling
you, woman?
WIFE. Do you dare, you shameless fellow, to utter even
a single word, or to speak to me?
MEN. SOS. Pray, what wrong have I committed, that I
shouldn't dare to speak to you?
WIFE. Do you ask me? O dear, the impudent audacity
of the fellow!
MEN. Sos. Don't you know, madam, for what reason the
Greeks used to say that Hecuba was a bitch? ?
1 Into some bad house)-Ver. 704. The "ganeæ" or "ganea" were, probably,
very similar to the "popina," the loose character of which, and the "thermo-
polia," has been alluded to in a preceding Note.
2 Hecuba was a bitch)—Ver. 714. Hecuba was the daughter of Cisseus or of
Dymas, and the wife of Priam, King of Troy. In the distribution of the spoil,
after the siege of Troy, she fell to the share of Ulysses, and became his slave, but
died soon after in Thrace. Servius alleges, with Plautus, that the Greeks circu-
lated the story of her transformation into a bitch, because she was perpetually
railing at them to provoke them to put her to death, rather than condemn her to
the life of a slave. According to Strabo and Pomponius Mela, in their time the
place of her burial was still to be seen in Thrace. It was called kúvos ínµà,
"the Tomb of the bitch." Euripides, in his " Hecuba," has not followed this tra
dition, but represents her as complaining that the Greeks had chained her to the
door of Agamemnon like a dog.
Sc. I.
353
OR, THE TWIN-BROTHERS.
WIFE. I don't know, indeed. MEN. Sos. Because Hecuba
used to do the same thing that you are now doing. She
used to heap all kinds of imprecations on every one she saw;
and, therefore, for that reason she was properly begun to be
called a bitch.
WIFE. I can't put up with this disgraceful conduct of
yours; for I had rather see my life that of a widow, than
endure this vile conduct of yours that you are guilty of.
MEN. Sos. What is it to me, whether you are able to
endure to live in the married state, or whether you will
separate from your husband? Is it thus the fashion here to
tell these stories to a stranger on his arrival ?
WIFE. What stories? I say, I'll not endure it hence-
forth, but live separate rather than put up with these ways.
MEN. Sos. Troth, so far indeed as I'm concerned, do live
separate, even so long as Jupiter shall hold his sway.
WIFE. By heavens, I'll certainly now send for my father,
and I'll tell him your disgraceful conduct that you are
guilty of. Go, Decio (calling to a SERVANT), seek for my
father, that he may come along with you to me; tell him that
occasion has arisen for it. I'll now disclose to him this dis-
graceful conduct of yours.
MEN. Sos. Are you in your senses? What disgraceful
conduct of mine?
WIFE. When you filch from home my mantle and gold
trinkets, without the knowledge of your wife, and carry
them off to your mistress. Don't I state this correctly?
very
MEN. Sos. O dear! madam, by my faith, you are both
bold and very perverse. Do you dare to say (pointing at the
mantle) that this was stolen from you which another woman
gave me, for me to get it trimmed?
WIFE. A little while since you didn't deny that you had
purloined it from me; do you now hold up that same before
my eyes? Are you not ashamed ?
MEN. Sos. By my faith, madam, I entreat you, if you
know, show me what I'm to drink¹, by means of which I
may put up with your impertinence. What person you are
What I'm to drink)—Ver. 742. Some Commentators think that he is asking
tor a medical potion, to help him to swallow down the "petulantia," or insulting
onduct. This supposition does not seem necessary, for even a draught of water
would have the same effect in such a case.
2 A
354
Act IV.
MENÆCHMI;
辈
​taking me to be, I don't know; I know you just as well
as Parthaon¹.
WIFE. If you laugh at me, still, i' troth, you can't do
so at him; my father, I mean, who's coming here. Why
don't you look back?
look back? Do you know that person?
MEN. Sos. Just as well as Calchas² do I know him; I
have seen him on that same day on which I have seen your-
self before this present day.
WIFE. Do you deny that you know me? Do you deny
that
you know my father?
MEN. Sos. Troth, I shall say the same thing, if you choose
to bring your grandfather.
WIFE. I' faith, you do this and other things just in a like
fashion.
SCENE II.-Enter an OLD MAN, hobbling with a stick.
OLD MAN. According as my age permits, and as there is
occasion to do so, I'll push on my steps and make haste to
get along. But how far from easy 'tis for me, I'm not mis-
taken as to that. For my agility forsakes me, and I am beset
with age; I carry my body weighed down; my strength has
deserted me. How grievous a pack upon one's back is age.
For when it comes, it brings very many and very grievous
particulars, were I now to recount all of which, my speech
would be too long. But this matter is a trouble to my
mind and heart, what this business can possibly be on
account of which my daughter suddenly requires me to come
to her, and doesn't first let me know what's the matter,
what she wants, or why she sends for me.
But pretty
nearly do I know now what's the matter; I suspect that
some quarrel has arisen with her husband. So are these
women wont to do, who, presuming on their portions, and
haughty, require their husbands to be obedient to them; and
they as well full oft are not without fault. But still there are
bounds, within which a wife ought to be put up with. By my
troth, my daughter never sends for her father to come to her
¹ As well as Parthaon)—Ver. 745. Parthaon was the father of Eneus, King of
Etolia, the father of Deiänira, the wife of Hercules. The name is used to sig-
nify a person who lived so long ago that it was impossible to know him.
2 As well as Calchus)—Ver. 748. Calchas, the son of Thestor, was a famous
Boothsayer, who accompanied the Grecian army in the expedition against Troy.
Sc. II.
355
OR, THE TWIN-BROTHERS.
{
except when either something has been done wrong, or there
is a cause for quarrelling. But whatever it is, I shall now
know. And see, I perceive her herself before the house, and
her husband in a pensive mood. 'Tis the same as I
suspected. I'll accost her.
WIFE. I'll go and meet him. May every happiness attend
you, my father.
OLD MAN. Happiness attend you. Do I find you in good
spirits? Do you bid me be fetched in happy mood? Why
are you sorrowful? And why does he (pointing at MENECH-
MUS) in anger stand apart from you? Something, I know not
what, are you two wrangling about¹ between you. Say, in few
words, which of the two is in fault: no long speeches, though.
WIFE. For my part, I've done nothing wrong; as to that
point do I at once make you easy, father. But I cannot live
or remain here on any account; you must take me away
hence immediately.
OLD MAN. Why, what's the matter? WIFE. I am made
a laughing-stock of, father.
OLD MAN. By whom?
gave me, my husband.
WIFE. By him to whom you
OLD MAN. Look at that-a quarrel now. How often, I
wonder, have I told you to be cautious, that neither should be
coming to me with your complaints.
**
WIFE. How, my father, can I possibly guard against that?
OLD MAN. Do you ask me?
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
unless you don't wish.
How often have I told you to be compliant to your hus-
band. Don't be watching what he does, where he goes, or
what matter he's about.
WIFE. Why, but he's in love with a courtesan here close
by.
OLD MAN. He is exceedingly wise: and for this pains-
taking of yours, I would even have him love her the more.
WIFE. He drinks there, too. OLD MAN. And will he
really drink the less for you, whether it shall please him to do
¹ Wrangling about)-Ver: 778. "Velitati estis;" literally, "have been skir-
mishing." The figure is derived from the "velites," the light-armed soldiers of the
Roman army, who were not drawn up in rank and file, but commonly skirmished
in front of the main body, attacking the enemy here and there, and when hard
pressed, retiring into the vacant spaces of the legion.
2A2
356
MEN ECHMI;
Act IV.
so there or anywhere else? Plague on it, what assurance is
this? On the same principle, you would wish to hinder him
from engaging to dine out, or from receiving any other per-
son at his own house. Do you want husbands to be your
servants? You might as well expect, on the same prin-
ciple, to be giving him out his task, and bidding him sit
among the female servants and card wool.
WIFE. Why, surely, father, I've sent for you not to be
my advocate, but my husband's: on this side you stand¹, on
the other you plead the cause.
OLD MAN. If he has done wrong in anything, so much
the more shall I censure him than I've censured you.
Since he keeps you provided for and well clothed, and finds
you amply in female servants and provisions, 'tis better,
madam, to entertain kindly feelings.
WIFE. But he purloins from me gold trinkets and mantles
from out of the chests at home; he plunders me, and secretly
carries off my ornaments to harlots.
OLD MAN. He does wrong, if he does that; if he does
not do it, you do wrong in accusing him when innocent.
WIFE. Why at this moment, even, he has got a mantle,
father, and a bracelet, which he had carried off to her; now,
because I came to know of it, he brings them back.
OLD MAN. I'll know from himself, then, how it happened.
I'll go up to this man and accost him. (Goes up to ME-
NÆCHMUS.) Tell me this, Menæchmus, what you two are
disputing about, that I may know. Why are you pensive?
And why does she in anger stand apart from you?
MEN. Sos. Whoever you are, whatever is your name, old
gentleman, I call to witness supreme Jove and the Dei-
ties-
OLD MAN. For what reason, or what matter of all matters ?
MEN. SOS. That I have neither done wrong to that woman,
who is accusing me of having purloined this (pointing to
the mantle) away from her at home
and which she solemnly swears that I did take away. If
*
*
1 On this side you stand)-Ver. 799. It was the custoin for the patron, when
acting as the counsel, to have his client standing by him while pleading. The wife
complains that her father has been sent for by her to act as her own advocate, but
that, instead of so doing, he is encouraging her supposed husband in his perverse-
ness.
Sc. II.
357
OR, THE TWIN-BROTHERS.
ever I set foot inside of her house where she lives, 1 wish
that I may become the most wretched of all wretched
men.
OLD MAN. Are you in your senses to wish this, or to deny
that you ever set foot in that house where you live, you
downright madman?
MEN. Sos. Do you say, old gentleman, that I live in this
house? (Pointing at the house.)
OLD MAN. Do you deny it ? MEN. Sos. By my faith, I
certainly do deny it.
OLD MAN. In your fun you are going too far in denying
it; unless you flitted elsewhere this last night. Step this
way, please, daughter. (To the WIFE.) What do you say?
Have you removed from this house?
WIFE. He's surely
WIFE. To what place, or for what reason, prithee?
OLD MAN. I' faith, I don't know.
making fun of you.
OLD MAN. Can't you keep yourself quiet? Now, Me-
næchmus, you really have joked long enough; now do
seriously attend to this matter.
MEN. SOS. Prithee, what have I to do with you? Whence
or what person are you? Is your mind right, or hers, in
fact, who is an annoyance to me in every way ?
WIFE. Don't you see how his eyes sparkle?
How a
green colour is arising on his temples and his forehead; look
how his eyes do glisten.
*
**
*
**
*
**
*
*
MEN. Sos. O me! They say I'm mad, whereas they of
themselves are mad.
WIFE. How he yawns, as he stretches himself. What am
I to do now, my father?
OLD MAN. Step this way, my daughter, as far as ever you
can from him.
MEN. Sos. (aside). What is there better for me than,
since they say I'm mad, to pretend that I am mad, that I
may frighten them away from me? (He dances about.)
¹ A green colour)-Ver. 829. It was supposed that in madness, or extreme
anger, the countenance assumed a greenish hue. Ben Jonson has probably imi-
tated this passage in the Silent Woman, Act IV., sc. 4.: "Lord! how idly he talks,
and how his eyes sparkle! he looks green about the temples! Do you see what
blue spots he has ?"
858
Act IV.
MENÆCHMI;
Evoë, Bacchus, ho! Bromius¹, in what forest dost thou in-
vite me to the chase? I hear thee, but I cannot get away
from this spot, so much does this raving mad female cur
watch me on the left side. And behind there is that other
old he-goat, who many a time in his life has proved the de-
struction of an innocent fellow-citizen by his false testi-
mony.
OLD MAN (shaking his stick at him). Woe to your head.
MEN. Sos. Lo! by his oracle, Apollo bids me burn out her
eyes with blazing torches. (He points with his fingers at her.)
WIFE. I'm undone, my father; he's threatening to burn.
my eyes out.
OLD MAN. Hark you, daughter.
matter? What are we to do ?
WIFE. What's the
I'll go
OLD MAN. What if I call the servants out here ?
bring some to take him away hence, and bind him at home,
before he makes any further disturbance.
MEN. Sos. (aside). So now; I think now if I don't adopt
some plan for myself, these people will be carrying me off
home to their house. (Aloud.) Dost thou forbid me to spare
my fists at all upon her face, unless she does at once get out
of my sight to utter and extreme perdition? I will do what
thou dost bid me, Apollo. (Runs after her.)
OLD MAN (to the WIFE). Away with you home as soon
as possible, lest he should knock you down.
WIFE. I'm off. Watch him, my father, I entreat you,
that he mayn't go anywhere hence. Am I not a wretched
woman to hear these things? (She goes into her house.)
MEN. Sos. (aside). I've got rid of her not so badly.
(Aloud). Now as for this most filthy, long-bearded, palsied
Tithonus, who is said to have had Cygnus for his father², you
1 Ho! Bromius)-Ver. 886. Evius and Bromius were two of the names by
which the Bacchanals addressed Bacchus in their frenzy.
2 Cygnus for his father)-Ver. 854. Plautus designedly makes Menæchmus
Sosicles be guilty of the mistake of styling Tithonus the son of Cygnus, as helping
to promote the belief of his madness. Tithonus was the son of Laomedon, and the
brother of Priam. He was beloved by Aurora, and the poets feigned that he was
her husband. Having received the gift of immortality, he forgot to have perpetual
youthfulness united with the gift; and at length, in his extreme old age, he was
changed into a grasshopper. There were several persons of the name of Cygnus,
or Cycnus; one was the son of Apollo and Hyric, another of Mars and Pelopea,
or Pyrene, another of Neptune and Ca.rx, anı? a fourth of Ocitus and Arnophile
Sc. II.
359
OR, THE TWIN-BROTHERS.
bid me break in pieces his limbs, and bones, and members
with that walking-stick which he himself is holding.
OLD MAN. Punishment shall be inflicted if you touch me
indeed, or if you come nearer to me.
MEN. Sos. (shouting aloud). I will do what thou dost bid
me; I will take a two-edged axe, and I will hew this old fellow
to his very bones, and I will chop his entrails into mince-
meat.
OLD MAN (retreating as far as he can). Why really
against that must I take care and precaution. As he
threatens, I'm quite in dread of him, lest he should do me
some mischief.
MEN. Sos. (jumping and raising his arms). Many things
dost thou bid me do, Apollo. Now thou dost order me to
take the yoked horses, unbroke and fierce, and to mount the
chariot, that I may crush to pieces this aged, stinking, tooth-
less lion. Now have I mounted the chariot; now do I hold
the reins; now is the whip in my hand. Speed onward, ye
steeds, let the sound of your hoofs be heard; in your swift
course let the rapid pace of your feet¹ be redoubled. (Points
at the OLD MAN as he pretends to gallop.)
OLD MAN. Are you threatening me with your yoked
steeds ?
MEN. SOS. Lo! again, Apollo, thou dost bid me to make
an onset against him who is standing here, and to murder
him. But what person is this that is tearing me hence by
the hair down from the chariot ? He revokes thy commands
and the decree of Apollo.
OLD MAN. Alas! a severe and obstinate malady, i' faith.
By our trust in you, ye Gods
*
*
*
*
*
**
*
*
even this person who is
now mad, how well he was a little time since. All on a
sudden has so great a distemper attacked him. I'll go now
and fetch a physician as fast as I can.
(Exit.
MEN. Sos. Prithee, are these persons gone now out of my
sight, who are compelling me by force, while in my wits, to
be mad? Why do I delay to be off to the ship, while I can
¹ The rapia pace of your feet)—Ver. 867. “Cursu celeri facite inflexa sit pedum
pernicitas." Literally, "in the swift course, make the swiftness of your feet to
be bent inwards." The legs of good horses, when trotting fast, bend inwards be.
fore they throw them out.
360
Act V,
MEN ECHMI;
in safety ?
*
**
*
*
*
*
And all of you (to the SPECTATORS),
if the old gentleman should return, I beg not to tell him,
now, by what street I fled away hence.
ACT V.-SCENE I.
Enter the OLD MAN, very slowly.
(Exit.
OLD MAN. My bones ache with sitting, my eyes with
watching, while waiting for the Doctor, till he returned from
his business. At last the troublesome fellow has with diffi
culty got away from his patients. He says that he has set
a broken leg for Esculapius¹, and an arm for Apollo. I'm
now thinking whether I'm to say that I'm bringing a doctor
or a carpenter². But, see, here he comes.-Do get on with
your ant's pace.
SCENE II.-Enter a Doctor.
Docr. What did you say was his disorder? Tell me,
respected sir. Is he harassed by sprites³, or is he frenzied ?
Let me know. Is it lethargy, or is it dropsy, that possesses
him?
OLD MAN. Why, I'm bringing you for that reason, that
you may tell me that, and make him convalescent.
DocT. That indeed is a very easy matter.
heal innumerable times as many4 in the day.
Why, I shall
OLD MAN. I wish him to be treated with great attention.
Door. That he shall be healed, I promise that on my
word; so with great attention will I treat him for you.
1 For Esculapius)-Ver. 885. Apollo and Esculapius were the two guardian
Divinities of the medical art. The old man, perhaps, mentions their names in-
stead of those of some persons of whose wonderful cures the Doctor has been
bragging.
2 Or a carpenter)-Ver. 887. He says that, talking of mending legs, the
Doctor may,
for aught he knows, be some carpenter, who has been patching up
the legs of statues.
3 Ilarassed by sprites)-Ver. 890. "Larvatus aut cerritus." The "larvati"
were mad persons, supposed to be afflicted with ghosts or spectres; while the
'cerriti' were persons who were thought to be visited with madness by the
Goddess Cores.
♦ Innumerable times as many) -Ver 894. The Doctor is bragging of his exter-
sive practice.
Sc. III.
361
OR, THE TWIN-BROTHERS.
OLD MAN. Why, see! here's the man himself.
Docr. Let's watch what matter he's about.
aside.)
(They stand
SCENE III.—Enter MENACHMUS of Epidamnus.
MEN. (to himself). By my faith, this day has certainly
fallen out perverse and adverse for me, since the Parasite,
who has filled me full of disgrace and terror, has made that
all known, which I supposed I was doing secretly; my own
Ulysses¹, who has brought so great evil on his king-a fellow
that, by my troth, if I only live, I'll soon finish his life?.
But I'm a fool, who call that his, which is my own. With
iny own victuals and at my own expense has he been sup-
ported; of existence will I deprive the fellow. But the
Courtesan has done this in a way worthy of her, just as the
harlot's habit is because I ask for the mantle, that it may
be returned again to my wife, she declares that she has given
it me. O dear! By my faith, I do live a wretched man.
OLD MAN (apart). Do you hear what he says?
Door. (apart). He declares that he is wretched.
OLD MAN (apart). I wish you to accost him.
DocT. (going up to him). Save you, Menæchmus. Prithee,
why do you bare your arm? Don't you know how much
mischief you are now doing to that disease of yours?
MEN. Why don't you go hang yourself?
OLD MAN. What think you now? DocT. What shouldn't
I think? This case can't be treated with even ointment of
hellebore. But what have you to say, Menæchmus ?
MEN. What do you want? DocT. Tell me this that I
ask of you; do you drink white wine or dark-coloured ?
MEN. What need have you to enquire?
Door. *
*
*
*
MEN. Why don't you go to utter perdition ?
¹ My own Ulysses)-Ver. 902. He complains that the Parasite, who used to
be his adviser, and as good as a Ulysses to him, his king, or patron, has been the
cause of all his mishaps.
2 Finish his life)—Ver. 993. “Vitâ evolvam suâ.” Literally, "I will wind
him off of his life." He probably alludes to the "Parcæ," the "Fates" or
“Destinies," who were fabled to be the daughters of Nox and Erebus, and of whom,
one, named Clotho, held the distaff, and spun the thread of life; another, named
Lachesis, wound it off; and the third, called Atropos, cut it off when of the re
quisite length.
362
Act V
MENECHMI;
OLD MAN. Troth, he's now beginning to be attacked with
the fit.
MEN. Why don't you ask whether I'm wont to eat dark
bread, or purple, or yellow? Or whether I'm wont to eat
birds with scales, or fish with wings?
OLD MAN. Dear, dear! (To the DOCTOR.) Don't you hear how
deliriously he talks? Why do you delay to give him some-
thing by way of a potion, before his raving overtakes him?
Door. Stop a little; I'll question him on some other
matters as well.
OLD MAN. You are killing me¹ by your prating.
DOCT. (to MENECIMUS). Tell me this; are your eyes ever
in the habit of becoming hard??
MEN. What? Do you take me to be a locust³, you most
worthless fellow?
DocT. Tell me, now, do your bowels ever rumble that you
know of?
MEN. When I'm full, they don't rumble at all; when I'm
hungry, then they do rumble.
DocT. I' faith, he really gave me that answer not like an
insane person. Do you always sleep soundly until daylight?
Do you easily go to sleep when in bed?
MEN. I sleep throughout if
*
**
*
*
*
*
* I go to sleep if I have paid my money
to him to whom I owe it.
DOCT. *
*
*
*
**
*
**
*
*
*
*
MEN. (to the DOCTOR). May Jupiter and all the Divinities
confound you, you questioner.
DocT. (aside). Now this person begins to rave.
(To the
OLD MAN.) From those expressions do you take care of
yourself.
OLD MAN. Why, he's now really quite favourable in his
language, in comparison with what he was a short time since;
1 You are killing me)-Ver. 922. "Occidis fabulans." This remark seems
rather to apply to the effect of his chattering, upon the old man himself, who is
growing impatient, than upon the supposed madman; though, from the elliptical
nature of the expression, the latter may possibly be the meaning.
2 Of becoming hard)—Ver. 923. This was supposed to be one of the symp-
toms of madness.
3 To be a locust)-Ver. 924. The eyes of locusts were considered to be of pecu-
liar hardness. They are very large and prominent. It has been suggested that
"locusta" here means a "lobster."
Sc. III.
363
OR, THE TWIN-BROTHERS.
for, a little while ago, he was saying that his wife was a
raving cur.
MEN. What did I say? OLD MAN. You were raving, I
say.
MEN. What, I? OLD MAN. You there; who threatened
as well to ride me down with your yoked steeds.
MEN. *
*
*
*
*
*
OLD MAN I myself saw you do this; I myself accuse you
of this.
MEN. And I know that you stole the sacred crown of
Jupiter; and that on that account you were confined in pri-
son; and after you were let out, I kow that you were beaten
with rods in the bilboes; I know, too, that you murdered
your father and sold your mother. Don't I give this abuse
in answer for your abuse, like a sane person?
OLD MAN. I' faith, Doctor, whatever you are about to do,
prithee, do it quickly. Don't you see that the man is raving?
Docr. Do you know what's the best for you to do?
Have him taken to my house.
OLD MAN. Do you think so? DocT. Why should I not?
There at my own discretion I shall be able to treat the man.
OLD MAN. Do just as you please. DocT. (to MENÆCH-
MUS). I'll make you drink hellebore some twenty days.
MEN. But, hanging up, I'll flog you with a whip for thirty
days.
DocT. (to the OLD MAN). Go fetch some men to take him
off to my house.
OLD MAN. How many are sufficient ?
Door. Since I see him thus raving, four, no less.
OLD MAN. They shall be here this instant. Do you keep
an eye on him, Doctor.
DocT. Why, no, I shall go home that the things may be
got ready, which are necessary to be prepared. Bid your ser-
vants carry him to my house.
OLD MAN. I'll make him be there just now.
1 That you stole)-Ver. 941. This expression has been aiready remarked upon
in the Notes to the Trinummus.
2 But, hanging up)—Ver. 951. “Pendentem." When they were flogged, the
slaves were tied up with their hands extended over their heads. Probably, the
Doctor is intended to be represented as being a slave; as many of the liberal pur
suits were followed by slaves, and sometimes to the very great profit of their
masters. The "furca" (for want of a better word, called "bilboes in the
translation) is referred to in another Note.
364
Act V
MENDOI MI

DocT. I'm off OLD MAN. Farewel
int OLD MAN and DOCTOR, separately.
MEN. My father-in-law is gone, the Doctor is gone; I'm
alone. O Jupiter Why is it that these people say I'm
mad? Why, in fact, since I was born, I have never for a
single day been ill I'm neither mad, nor do I commence
strifes or quarrels In health myself, I see others well; I
know people, I address them. Is it that they who falsely say
I'm mad, are mad themselves? What shall I do now?
wish to go home; but my wife doesn't allow me; and here
(pointing to EROTIUM's house) no one admits me. Most
unfortunately has this fallen out. Here will I still remain;
at night, at least, I shall be let into the house, I trust.
(Stands near his door.)
SCENE IV Enter MESSENIO.
MESS. (to himself). This is the proof of a good servant,
who takes care of his master's business, looks after it, arranges
it, thinks about it, in the absence of his master diligently to
attend to the affairs of his master as much so as if he himself
were present, or even better. It is proper that his back!
should be of more consequence than his appetite, his legs
than his stomach, whose heart is tightly placed. Let him
bear in mind, those who are good for nothing, what reward
is given them by their masters lazy, worthless fellows.
Stripes, fetters, the mill, weariness, hunger, sharp cold; these
are the rewards of idleness. This evil do I terribly stand in
awe of. Wherefore 'tis sure that to be good is better than
to be bad. Much more readily do I submit to words,
stripes I do detest; and I eat what is ground much more
readily than supply it ground by myself. Therefore do I
obey the command of my master, carefully and diligently do
I observe it; and in such manner do I pay obedience, as I
think is for the interest of my back. And that course does
profit me. Let others be just as they take it to be their
interest; I shall be just as I ought to be. If I adhere to
that, I shall avoid faultiness; so that I am in readiness for my
¹ That his back)—Ver. 970. For the purpose of keeping his back intact fro.n
the whip, and his feet from the fetters.
2 Ground by myself)-Ver. 979. He aliudes to the custom of sending refractory
slaves to the "pistrinum," where the corn was ground by a handmill, which en-
tai ed extreme labour on those grinding. He says that he would rather tha!
others should grind the corn for him, than that he should grind it for others.

Sc. V.
365
OR, THE TWIN-BROTHERS.
master on all occasions, I shall not be much afraid. The time
is near, when, for these deeds of mine, my master will give his
reward. After I had deposited the goods and the servants in
the inn, as he ordered me, thus am I come to meet him.
Going to the door of EROTIUM's house.) Now I'll knock at the
door, that he may know that I'm here, and that out of this thick
wood of peril I may get my master safe out of doors. But I'm
afraid that I'm come too late, after the battle has been fought.
SQENE V.-Enter the OLD MAN, with SERVANTS.
OLD MAN (to the SERVANTS). By Gods and men, I tell
you prudently to pay regard to my commands, as to what I
have commanded and do command. Take care that this
person is carried at once upon your shoulders to the surgery,
unless, indeed, you set no value upon your legs or your sides.
Take care each of you to regard at a straw whatever threats
he shall utter. What are you standing for? Why are you
hesitating By this you ought to have had him carried
off on your shoulders. I'll go to the Doctor; I'll be there
ready when you shall come.
(Exit. The SERVANTS gather around MENECHMUS.
MEN. I'm undone. What business is this? Why are
these men running towards me, pray? What do you want?
What do you seek? Why do you stand around me? (They
seize and drag him.) Whither are you dragging me? Whi
ther are you carrying me? I'm undone. I entreat your
assistance, citizens, men of Epidamnus, come and help me.
(To the men.) Why don't you let me go?
MESS. (running towards them). O ye immortal Gods, I be-
seech you, what do I behold with my eyes? Some fellows, 1
know not who, are most disgracefully carrying off my master
upon their shoulders.
MEN. Who is it that ventures to bring me aid ?
-
MESS. I, master, and right boldly. (Aloud.) O shameful
and scandalous deed, citizens of Epidamnus, for my master,
here in a town enjoying peace, to be carried off, in daylight,
in the street, who came to you a free man.
Let him go.
MEN. Prithee, whoever you are, do lend me your aid, and
don't suffer so great an outrage to be signally committed
against me.
1 This thick wood)—Ver. 988. He compares the house of the Courtesan to a
forest or thicket. These latter places, as being frequently the lurking-place?
of thieves and robbers, would be especially dangerous to travellers.

366
Act V
MENACHMI;
MESE. Aye, I'll give you my aid, and I'll defend you, and
zealously succour you. I'll never let you come to harm
'tis fitter that I myself should come to harm. I'll now maki
a sowing on the faces of these fellows, and there I'll plant my
fists. Ï' faith, you're carrying this person off this day a
your own extreme hazard. Let him go. (He lays about him)
MEN. (fighting with them). I've got hold of this fellow's eye
MESS. Make the socket of his eye be seen in his head. You
rascals! you villains! you robbers!
THE SERVANTS (severally). We are undone. Trth, now,
prithee, do
have you
MESS. Let him go then. MEN. What busins have
to touch me? Thump them with your fists.
MESS. Come, begone, fly hence to utter per tion with you.
(Three run away.) Here's for you, tox (giving the fourth one
a punch); because you are the last yield, you shall have
this for a reward. (They all disappear Right well have I
marked his face, and quite to my g. Troth, now, master,
I really did come to your help just now in the nick of time.
MEN. And may the Gods, young man, whoever you are,
ever bless you. For, had it not been for you, I should never
have survived this day until sunset.
MESS. By my troth, then, master, if you do right, you wil
give me my freedom.
MEN. I, give you your freedom?
since, master, I have saved you.

MESS. Doubtless:
MEN. How's this? Young man, you are mistaken.
MESS. How, mistaken? MEN. By father Jove, I solemnly
swear that I am not your master.
MESS. Will you not hold your peace? MEN. I'm telling
no lie; nor did any servant of mine ever do such a thing
as you have done for me.
MESS. In that case, then, let me go free, if you deny that
I am your servant.
MEN. By my faith, so far, indeed, as I'm concerned, be
free, and go where you like.
MESS. That is, you order me to do so?
MEN. I' faith, I do order you, if I have aught of authority
over you.
MESS. Save you, my patron. Since you seriously give me
ny freedom, I rejoice.
MEN. I' faith, I really do believe you.
1
V1.
367
OR, THE TWIN-BROTHERS.

MESS. But, my patron, I do entreat you that you won't
mmand me any the less now than when I was your ser-
With you will I dwell, and when you go I'll go home
ether with you. Wait for me here; I'll now go to the
n, and bring back the luggage and the money for you. The
rse, with the money for our journey, is fast sealed up in the
et; I'll bring it just now here to you.
N. Bring it carefully. MESS. I'll give it back safe to
as you gave it to me. Do you wait for me here.
(Exit MESSENIO.
ry wonderful things have really happened this
wonderful ways. Some deny that I am he who
me out of doors; others say that I am he
ΜΟΥ, and will have it that they are my servants. He
for instance, who said that he was going for the money, to
whom I gave his freedom just now. Since he says that he will
bring me a purse with money, if he does bring it¹, I'll
say that he may go free from me where he pleases, lest at a
time when he shall have come to his senses he should ask the
money of me. My father-in-law and the Doctor were saying
that I am mad. Whatever it is, it is a wonderful affair.
These things appear to me not at all otherwise than dreams.
Now I'll go in the house to this Courtesan, although she is
angry with me; if I can prevail upon her to restore the mantle
for me to take back home. (He goes into EROTIUM's house.)
SCENE VI.-Enter MENECHMUS SOSICLES and MESSENIO.
MEN. Sos. Do you dare affirm, audacious fellow, that I
have ever met you this day since the time when I ordered
you to come here to meet me ?
MESS. Why, I just now rescued you before this house,
when four men were carrying you off upon their shoulders.
You invoked the aid of all Gods and men, when I ran
up and delivered you by main force, fighting, and in spite of
them. For this reason, because I rescued you, you set me
at liberty. When I said that I was going for the money and
the luggage, you ran before to meet me as quickly as you
could, in order that you might deny what you did.
¹ If he does bring it)-Ver. 1044. He contemplates robbing even the man whe
has just rescued him. The disnonesty of his brother, in carrying off the mantle
and bracelet, and wishing to rob the servant-maid of the gold for her earrings, hac
been previously re narked.

MENECHMI;
368
MEN. Sos. I, bade you go away a free man?
MESS. Certainly. MEN. Sos. Why, on the contrar
most certain that I myself would rather become a slave
ever give you your freedom.
SCENE VII.—Enter MENACHMUS of Epidamnus, from »
EROTIUM's house.
MEN. (at the door, to EROTIUM within). If you are
to swear by your eyes, by my troth, not a bit the mo
that reason, most vile womar, will you make it that
away the mantle and the bracelet to-day.
MESS. Immortal Gods, what do I see?
MEN. Sos. What do you see? MESS. Yo
in a mirror.
MEN. SOS. What's the matter?
'tis as like as possible.
MESS. 'Tis your
MEN. Sos. (catching sight of the other). Troth, it rea
not unlike, so far as I know my own form.
MEN. (to MESSENIO). O young man, save you, you
preserved me, whoever you are.
MESS. By my troth, young man, prithee, tell me your
name, unless it's disagreable.
MEN. I' faith, you've not so deserved of me, that it should
be disagreable for me to tell what you wish. My name is
Menæchmus.
MEN. Sos. Why, by my troth, so is mine.
MEN. I am a Sicilian, of Syracuse.
MEN. Sos. Troth, the same is my native country.
MEN. What is it that I hear of you?
MEN. SOS. That which is the fact.
MESS. (To MENECHMUS SOSICLES, by mistake). I know
this person myself (pointing to the other MENECHMUS); he
is my master, I really am his servant; but I did think I be-
longed to this other. (To MENECHMUS of Epidamnus, by
mistake.) I took him to be you; to him, too, did I give
some trouble. (To his master.) Pray, pardon me if I have
said aught foolishly or unadvisedly to you.
MEN. Sos. You seem to me to be mad. Don't you re-
member that together with me you disembarked from board
ship to-day?
MESS. Why, really, you say what's right-you are my
master; (lo MENECHмUS of Epidamnus) do you look out
for a servant. (To his master.) To you my greetings (to
1
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Se. VII.
371
OR, THE TWIN-BROTHERS.
MEN. Sos. (embracing his brother). I recognize the proofs;
I cannot refrain from embracing him. My own twin-brother,
blessings on you; I am Sosicles.
MEN. How then was the name of Menæchmus afterwards
given to you?
**
MEN. Sos. After word was brought to us that you
*
*
*
*
and that my father was
dead, my grandfather changed it; the name that was yours
he gave to me.
MEN. I believe that it did so happen as you say. But
answer me this.
MEN. Sos. Ask it of me. MEN. What was the name of
our mother ?
MEN. Sos. Teuximarcha. MEN. That quite agrees. (He
again embraces him.) O welcome, unhoped-for brother, whom
after many years I now behold.
MEN. Sos. And you, whom with many and anxious labours
I have ever been seeking up to this time, and whom I re-
ioice at being found.

that
MESS. (to his master). It was for this reason that
Courtesan called you by his name; she thought t
were he, I suppose, when she invited you to breakfast.
MEN. Why, faith, to-day I ordered a branefatto bengo
ready here (pointing to EROTIUM's house for me, unknown
to my wife; a mantle which a short time since Tilched from
home, to her I gave it.
MEN. Sos. Do you say, brother, that this is the mantle
which I'm wearing?
MEN. How did this come to you? MEN. SOS. The Courte
san who took me here (pointing to EROTIUM's house) to
breakfast, said that I had given it to her. I breakfasted
very pleasantly; I drank and entertained myself with my
mistress; she gave me the mantle and this golden trinket.
(Showing the bracelet.)
**
*
*
*
*
*
*
MEN. I' faith, I'm glad if any luck has befallen you on my
account; for when she invited you to her house, she supposed
it to be me.
MESS. Do you make any objection that I should be free as
you commanded?
MEN. He asks, brother, what's very fair and very just
Do it for my sake.
2 B 2
372
MENACHMI.
Act V
MEN. Sos. (touching MESSENIO's shoulder). Be thou a
free man.
MEN. I am glad, Messenio, that you are free.
MESS. Why, better auspices¹ were required that I should
be free for life.
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
MEN. Sos. Since these matters, brother, have turned out
to our wishes, let us both return to our native land.
MEN. Brother, I'll do as you wish. I'll have an auction
here, and sell whatever I have. In the meantime, brother,
let's now go in-doors.
MEN. Sos. Be it so. MESS. Do you know what I ask of you?
MEN. What? MESS. To give me the place of auctioneer.
MEN. It shall be given you. MESS. Would you like the
auction, then, to be proclaimed at once? For what day?
MEN. On the seventh day hence.
MESS. (coming forward, and speaking in a loud voice). An
auction of the property of Menæchmus will certainly take
place on the morning of the seventh day hence. His slaves,
furniture, house, and farms, will be sold. All will go for
whatever they'll fetch at ready money prices. His wife, too,
will be sold as well, if any purchaser shall come. I think that
by the entire sale Menæchmus will hardly get fifty hundred
thousand sesterces. (To the SPECTATORS.) Now, Spectators,
fare you well, and give us loud applause³.
#
¹ Better auspices)-Ver, 1149. He alludes to the pretended manumission which
he has already received from Menæchmus of Epidamnus, when he took him to be
his master
2 Fifty hundred thousand)-Ver. 1161. The sestertius, before the time of Au-
gustus, was a silver coin of the value of twopence and one-half of a farthing;
while after that period, its value was one penny three-farthings and a half. The
large sum here mentioned, at the former value, amounts to 44,3707. 16s. 8d. He
says "vix," it will "hardly" amount, by way of a piece of boasting.
3 Give us loud applause)-Ver. 1162. This Comedy, which is considered to be one
of the best, if not the very best, of all the plays of Plautus, is thought by some to
have been derived from one of Menander's, as there are some fragments of a play
by that Poet, called Aidvuoi, "the Twins." It is, however, very doubtful if such
is the fact. It is rendered doubly famous from the fact that Shakspeare borrowed
the plot of his Comedy of Errors from it, through the medium of the old trans-
ation of the Play, published in the year 1595, which is in some parts a strict
translation, though in others only an abridgment of the original work. It is
thought to have been made by William Warner, who wrote a poem called "Albion's
England," which he dedicated to Henry Cary, Lord Hunsdon, who was Lord
Chamberlain to Queen Ann the wife of James the First.
AULULARIA; OR, THE CONCEALED TREASURE
Dramatis Personæ.
THE HOUSEHOLD GOD, who speaks the Prologue.
EUCLIO, an aged Athenian.
MEGADORUS, uncle of Lyconides.
LYCONIDES, a young Athenian.
STROBILUS, servant of Megadorus and Lyconides
PYTHODICUS, servant of Megadorus.
ANTHRAX
CONGRIO
} Cooks.
EUNOMIA, the sister of Megadorus.
PHÆDRA, the daughter of Euclio.
STAPHYLA, an old woman, servant of Eucho.
So-Athers, before the houses of EUCLIO and MEGADCRUS, and the rmpi
of Faith.
THE SUBJECT
EUCLIO, a miserly oid Athenian, has a daughter named Phædra, who has negn
ravished by a young man named Lyconides, but is ignorant from whom sha
has received that injury. Lyconides has an uncle named Megadorus, who
being ignorant of these circumstances, determines to ask Phædra of her father,
in marriage for himself. Euclio has discovered a pot of gold in his house
which he watches with the greatest anxiety. In the meantime, Megadorus
asks his daughter in marriage, and his proposal is accepted; and while pre-
parations are making for the nuptials, Euclio conceals his treasure, first in on
place and then in another. Strobilus, the servant of Lyconides, watches his
movements, and, having discovered it, carries off the treasure. While Euclio is
lamenting bis loss, Lyconides accosts him, with the view of confessing the
outrage he nas committed on his daughter, and of announcing to him that his
uncle, Megadorus, has cancelled his agreement to marry her, in favour of him-
self. Euclio at first thinks that he is come to confess the robbery of the treasure.
After much parleying, his mistake is rectified, and the matter is explained; on
which Lyconides forces Strobilus to confess the theft; and (although the rest
of the Play in its original form is lost) we learn from the acrostic Argument
that Strobilus gives up the treasure, and Lyconides marries the daughter of
Euclio, and receives the gold for a marriage-portion. The Supplement written
by Codrus Ursens to supply the p ace of what is lost, has been added.
AULULARIA';
OR, THE CONCEALED TREASURE.
THE ACROSTIC ARGUMENT OF PRISCIAN.
A POT (Aulam) that he has found full of gold, Euclio watches with the greatest
strictness (Vi), being distracted in a dreadful manner. Lyconides (Lyconides)
debauches his daughter. Megadorus wishes (Vult) to marry her without a por-
hon, and to do it in a cheerful way (Lubens), he provides cooks with provi-
sions. Euclio is afraid on account of the gold (Auro); he drives them out of
the house; and the whole matter (Re) having been seen, the servant of the
ravisher steals it (Id). He discloses the matter to Euclio; by (Ab) him he is
presented with the gold, a wife, and a son.
THE PROLOGUE,
Spoken by the HOUSEHOLD GOD.
Lest any one should wonder who I am, I will tell you in a
few words. I am the household God of this family, from whose
house you have seen me coming forth. It is now many years
that I have been occupying this house, and I inhabited it for
the father and the grandfather of this person who now dwells
here. But beseeching me, his grandfather entrusted to me a
treasure of gold, unknown to all. He deposited it in the midst
of the hearth, praying me that I would watch it for him. He,
when he died, was of such an avaricious disposition, that he
¹ Aulularia) This word is derived from the old Latin word "aula," the same
with the more recent form "olla," signifying "a pot," and whose diminutive
was "aulula," which had the same signification. It will be seen how conspicuous
a part the "aula" performs in the Play. Warner says, in a Note to his Transla
tion, that Molière took a great part of his Comedy, called L'Avare, from this play
of Plautus; and that there are two English Comedies on the same plan, one by
Shadwell, the other by Fielding, called the Miser.
2 Midst of the hearth)—Ver. 7. The Lares, or household Gods, were kept in the
tararium," which was a recess near the "focus," or "hearth," and in which
prayers were offered up by the Romans on rising in the morning. The hearth or
fireplace was in the middle of the house, and was sacred to the Lares
376
Act I.
AULULARIA;
would never disclose it to his own son, and preferred rather to
leave him in want than to show that treasure to that son. He
left him no large quantity of land, on which to live with great
laboriousness and in wretchedness. When he died who had
entrusted that gold to me, I began to take notice whether his
son would any how pay greater honor to me than his father
had paid me.
But he was in the habit of venerating me still
less and less by very much, and gave me a still less share of
devotion. So in return was it done by me; and he likewise
ended his life. He left this person who now dwells here, his
son, of the same disposition as his father and grandfather
were. He has an only daughter; she is always every day
making offerings to me, either with incense, or wine, or sore-
thing or other; she presents me, too, with chaplets. Out of
regard for her, I have caused this Euclio to find this treasure,
in order that he might more readily give her in marriage if he
should wish; for a young man of very high rank has ravishod
her; this young man knows who it is that he has ravisheq;
she knows him not, nor yet does her father know that she has
been ravished. This day I shall cause the old gentleman here,
our neighbour, to ask her as his wife; that will I do for this
reason, that he may the more easily marry her who has ravished
her. And this old gentleman who shall ask her as his wife,
the same is the uncle of that young man who debauched her
in the night time at the festival of Ceres¹. But this old fel-
low is now making an uproar in the house, as usual; he is
thrusting the old woman out of doors, that she may not be
privy to the secret. I suppose he wants to look at the gold,
if it be not stolen.
ACT I.-SCENE I.
Enter EUCLIO, driving out STAPHYLA.
Euc. Get out, I say, be off, get out; by my troth, you
1 Festival of Ceres)-Ver. 36. He probably alludes to the Thesmophoria, a
festival which was celebrated in honor of the Goddess Ceres, and a large portion
of the rites whereof were solemnized in the night time. In general it was cele-
brated only by the inarried women, though, as we find in the present instance,
the maidens took some part in a portion of the ceremonial. It was said to have
been celebrated in the night time in commemoration of the search by Ceres, with
a torch in her hand, for her daughter Proserpine, when ravished by Pluto. No
lights were used on the occasion, which will account, in a great measure, for the
mishap of Phædra in the present instance, without her knowing who was the
party that had insulted her. See an able article on the Thesmophoria in Cr
Bath's Dictionary of Antiquities.
Sc. II.
377
OR, THE CONCEALED TREASURE.
must budge out of this house here, you pryabout woman,
with your inquisitive eyes.
STAPH. Pray why are you beating me, wretched creature
that I am?
Euc. That you may be wretched, and that, curst as you
are, you may pass a curst life, well befitting you.
STAPH. But for what reason have you now pushed me out
of the house?
Euc. Am I to be giving you a reason, you whole harvest of
whips¹. Get away there from the door! There, do look, if
you please, how she does creep along. But do you know how
matters stand with you? If I just now take a stick or a
whip in my hand, I'll quicken that tortoise pace for you.
STAPH. O that the Gods would drive me to hang myself,
rather indeed than that I should be a slave in your house
on these terms !
Euc. Hark how the hag is grumbling to herself! By my
troth, you wretch, I'll knock out those eyes of yours, that you
mayn't be able to watch me, what business I'm about. Get
out (pushes her with his hands)-further yet! still further!
further! There now,
stand you
there! By my faith, if you
budge a finger's breadth, or a nail's width from that spot, or
if
you look back until I shall order you, i' faith, I'll give you
up at once as a trainer for the gibbet. (Aside.) I know for
sure that I did never see one more accursed than this hag,
and I'm sadly in fear of her, lest she should be cheating me
unawares, or be scenting it out where the gold is concealed, a
most vile wretch, who has eyes in the back of her head as well.
Now I'll go and see whether the gold is just as I concealed it,
that so troubles wretched me in very many ways. (He goes
into his house.)
SCENE II. STAPHYLA, alone.
STAPH. By heavens, I cannot now conceive what mis
fortune, or what insanity, I am to say has befallen my
master; in such a way does he often, ten times in one day,
in this fashion push wretched me out of the house. I' faith, I
know not what craziness does possess this man; whole nights
is he on the watch; then, too, all the day long does he sit for
› Harvest of whips)—Ver. 6. "Stimulorum seges." Literally, "you corn-field of
wnips." He means, that he will make her body as full of weals from whipping
in a corn-field is of ears of corn.
378
Act I.
AULULARIA;
whole days together at home like a lame cobbler¹. Nor can
I imagine now by what means to conceal the disgrace of my
master's daughter, whose lying-in approaches near; and
there isn't anything better for me, as I fancy, than to rake
one long capital letter2 of myself, when I've tied up my neck
in a halter.
SCENE III.-Enter EUCLIO, from his house.
Euc. (to himself). Now, with my mind at ease, at length
I go out of my house, after I've seen that everything is safe
in-doors. Now do you return at once into the house (to
STAPHYLA), and keep watch in-doors.
1
STAPH. Keep watch in-doors upon nothing at all, forsooth
or is it, that no one may carry the house away. For here in
our house there's nothing else for thieves to gain, so filled is
it with emptiness³ and cobwebs.
Euo. 'Tis a wonder that, for your sake, Jupiter doesn't
now make me a King Philip, or a Darius, you hag of hags.
I choose those cobwebs to be watched for me. I am poor, I
confess it-I put up with it. What the Gods send, I endure.
Go in-doors, shut to the door, I shall be there directly. Take
you care not to let any strange person into the house.
STAPH. What if any person asks for fire?
Euc. I wish it to be put out, that there may be no cause
for any one asking it of you. But if the fire shall be kept
in, you yourself shall be forthwith extinguished. Then do you
say that the water has run out5, if any one asks for it.
¹ A lame cobbler)-Ver. 34. Of course, lame people would be the most likely to
take to such a sedentary employment as that of a cobller.
2 Long capital letter)—Ver. 38. She means to say, that she shall be forced to
make a letter I of herself, by hanging herself. In so saying, she not only alludes
to the straight and perpendicular form of that letter, but to its being especially
long in the Roman mode of writing. They wrote words with the letter I thus:
ÆDILIS, PISO, IVLIVs, for Ædilis, Piso, and Julius.
3 Filled is it with emptiness)—Ver. 45. The expression, "full of emptiness,” is
intended as a piece of wit on the part of the old woman. Perhaps Euclio would
not have the spiders molested, because they were considered to bring good luck.
4 Philip, or a Darius)—Ver. 47. The names of Philip, King of Macedon, and
Darius, King of Persia, as powerful and wealthy monarchs, would be likely to be
well known to the writers of the new Greek Comedy, from whom Plautus
borrowed most, if not all, of his plays.
• Has run out)—Ver. 55. It is not improbable that ailusion is here made to the
supply of water by pipes from the aqueducts.
Sc. JII.
379
OR, THE CONCEALED TREASURE.
STAPH. The knife, the hatchet, the pestle and mortar,
utensils that neighbours are always asking the loan of
Euc. Say that thieves have come and carried them ok.
In fact, in my absence, I wish no one to be admitted into my
house; and this, too, do I tell you beforehand, if Good Luck
should come, don't you admit her.
STAPU. I' faith, she takes good care, I think, not to be ad-
mitted; for though close at hand¹, she has never come to our
house.
Euc. Hold your tongue, and go in-doors.
STAPH. I'll hold my tongue, and be off.
Euc. Shut the door, please, with both bolts. I shall be
there directly. (STAPHYLA goes into the house.) I'm tor-
mented in my mind, because I must go away from my house
I' faith, I go but very unwillingly; but I know full well what
I'm about; for the person that is our master of our ward has
given notice that he will distribute a didrachm of silver to each
man; if I relinquish that, and don't ask for it, at once I fancy
that all will be suspecting that I've got gold at home; for it
isn't very likely that a poor man would despise ever such a
trifle, so as not to ask for his piece of money. For as it is,
while I am carefully concealing it from all, lest they should
know, all seem to know it, and all salute me more civilly than
they formerly used to salute me; they come up to me, they
stop, they shake hands"; they ask me how I am, what I'm
¹ Close at hand)—Ver. 63. She seems to allude to the fact of the temple of
Bona Fortuna, or Good Luck, being in the vicinity of Euclio's house.
""
2 Master of our ward)—Ver. 68. The "curia" at Rome were sub-divisions of
the tribes originally inade by Romulus, who divided the Ramnes, Titienses, and
Luceres into thirty "curiæ." Each "curia" had its place for meeting and
worship, which was also called "curia;" and was presided over by the “Curio,'
who is here called the "Magister curia," or "master of the ward." At first the
Patricians and Equites had the sole influence in the "curiæ," and alone clectec
the "Curiones;" but after the year A.U.C. 544, the "Curio" was elected from the
Patricians, after which period the political importance of the "curiæ" gradually
declined, until they becaine mere bodies meeting for the performance of religious
observances. Plautus probably alludes, in the present instance, to a dole, or dis-
tribution of money, made by the Greek Trittuarch among the poorer brethren o.
his Tρirrus, or "tribus;" as in adapting a Greek play to the taste of a Roman
audience, he very often mingles the customs of the one country with those of the
other.
τριττύς,
3 They shake hands)-Ver. 77. "Copulantur dextras." Literally, "they couple
right hands."
380
Act II,
AULULARIA ;
doing, what business I'm about. Now I'll go there whither
I had set out¹; afterwards, I'll betake myself back again
home as fast as ever I can.
ACT II.-SCENE I.
Enter EUNOMIA and MEGADORUS, from their house.
EUN. I could wish you, brother, to think that I utter these
words by reason of my own regard and your welfare, as is be-
fitting your own sister to do. Although I'm not unaware that
we women are accounted troublesome; for we are all of us
deservedly considered very talkative, and, in fact, they say
at the present day that not a single woman has been found
dumb2 in any age. Still, brother, do you consider this one
circumstance, that I am your nearest relation, and you in like
manner are mine. How proper it is that I should counsel and
advise you, and you me, as to what we may judge for the in-
terest of each of us; and for it not to be kept concealed or
kept silence upon through apprehension, but rather that I
should make you my confidant, and you me in like manner.
For that reason, now, have I brought you here apart out of
doors, that I might here discourse with you upon your private
concerns.
MEG. Best of women, give me your hand. (Takes her hand.)
EUN. (looking about). Where is she? Who, pray, is thie
best of women?
MEG. Yourself. EUN. Do you say so?
MEG. If you say no, I say no.
EUN. Indeed, it's right that the truth should be spoken;
for the best of women can nowhere be found; one is only
worse than another, brother.
MEG. I think the same, and I'm determined never to con-
tradict you on that point, sister. What do you wish ?
EUN. Give me your attention, I
MEG. 'Tis at your service; use
if you wish for aught.
beg of you.
and command me, please,
1 Whither I had set out)-Ver. 79. "Nunc quo profectus sumito." This is
rendered, in Cotter's Translation, "now I will go where I am profited !"
2 Has been found dumb)-Ver. 86. Not seeing the sarcasm intended against the
female sex in this passage, Lambinus seriously takes the trouble to contradict
Eunomia; his words are, "I myself, who am at present in my fifty-sixth year
have seen no less than two dumb women.'
Sc. I.
381
OR, THE CONCEALED TREASURE.
EUN. A thing that I consider very greatly for your advan
tage I'm come to recommend you.
MEG. Sister, you are doing after your usual manner.
EUN. I wish it were done. MEG. What is it, sister ?
EUN. That you may enjoy¹ everlasting blessings in being
the father of children.
MEG. May the Gods so grant it.
EUN. I wish you to bring home a wife.
MEG. Ha! I'm undone. EUN. How so?
MEG. Because, sister, your words are knocking out the
brains of unfortunate me; you are speaking stones2.
EUN. Well, well, do this that your sister requests you.
MEG. If she requests me, I will do it.
EUN. 'Tis for your own interest. MEG. Yes, for me to
die before I marry. Let her who comes here to-morrow, be
carried out³ of the house the day after, sister; on that con-
dition, give me her whom you wish to give; get ready the
nuptials.
EUN. I am able, brother, to provide you with a wife with a
very large marriage-portion. But she's somewhat aged; she's
of the middle-age of woman. If you request me, brother, to
ask her for you, I'll ask her.
MEG. Would you like me to ask you a question?
EUN. Yes, if you like, ask it.
MEG. Suppose any old man, past mid-age, brings home a
middle-aged wife, if by chance he should have a child by this
old woman, do you doubt at all but that the name of that
child is Posthumus, all prepared? Now, sister, I'll remove
and lessen this labour for you. I, by the merits of the Gods
¹ That you may enjoy)-Ver. 105. "Quod tibi sempiternum salutare sit."
This was a formula frequently introduced in announcing intelligence, or in making
a proposition, and was considered to be significant of a good omen.
2 You are speaking stones)—Ver. 110. So Shakspeare says, in Hamlet, Act III.,
sc. 7, "I will speak daggers to her, but use none.' Aristophanes says, in one
of his plays, "You have spoken roses to me."
3 Be carried out)-Ver. 113. "Feratur," "may be carried out to burial."
"Fero" and "effero" have that especial signification. The body was carried out
to burial en a bier, which resembled a bed or couch.
▲ Is Fosthumus)-Ver. 121. Children, who were born after their father's decease,
were called "posthumi," a term which is still retained. By speaking of an old
woman, anus," as the mother, he seems also to allude to the chance of the child
losing its mother as well, at the moment of its birth
แ
382
Act II.
AULULARIA
and of my forefathers, am rich enough; these high families,
naughty pride', bountiful portions, acclamations, imperious-
ness, vehicles inlaid with ivory, superb mantles and purple,
I can't abide, things that by their extravagance reduce men
преп
to slavery.
EUN. Tell me, pray, who is she whom you would like to
take for a wife ?
MEG. I'll tell you. Do you know that Euclio, the poor
old man close by?
EUN. I know him; not a bad sort of man, i̇' faith.
MEG. I'd like his maiden daughter to be promised me
in marriage. Don't make any words2 about it, sister; I know
what you are going to say; that she's poor.
This poor girl
pleases me.
EUN. May the Gods prosper it. MEG. I hope the same.
EUN. What do you want me now for? Do you wish for
anything?
EUN. And you the same, brother. (Goes
MEG. Farewell. EUN. And
into the house.)
MEG. I'll go meet Euclio, if he's at home. But, see! the
very person is betaking himself home, whence, I know not.
SCENE II.-Enter EUCLIO.
Euc. (to himself). My mind had a presentiment that I was
going to no purpose when I left my house; and therefore I
went unwillingly; for neither did any one of the wardsmen
come, nor yet the master of the ward, who ought to have dis-
tributed the money. Now I'm making all haste to hasten
home; for I myself am here, my mind's at home.
MEG. (accosting him). May you be well, and ever for-
tunate, Euclio!
Etc. May the Gods bless you, Megadorus!
MEG. How are you? Are you quite well, and as you wish ?
Evo. (aside). It isn't for nothing when a rich man accosts
¹ Haughty pride)-Ver. 124. He means to say, that these evils are attendant
upon marrying a woman with a large dowry.
2 Don't make any words)-Ver. 130. Ben Jonson has imitated this passage in
his Silent Woman, Act I., sc. 5.
I know what thou wouldst say:
She's poor, and her friends deceased.
She has brought a wealthy dowry in her silencǝ.
Sc. II.
363
OR, THE CONCEALED TREASURE.
a poor man courteously; now this fellow knows that I've
got some gold; for that reason he salutes me more cour-
teously.
MEG. Do you say that you are well?
Euc. Troth, I'm not very well in the money line.
MEG. I' faith, if you've a contented mind, you have en ougu
to passing a good life with.
Evc. (aside). By my faith, the old woman has made a dis-
covery to him about the gold; 'tis clear it's all out. I'll
cut off her tongue, and tear out her eyes, when I get home.
MEG. Why are you talking to yourself?
Euc. I'm lamenting my poverty; I've a grown-up girl
without a portion, and one that can't be disposed of in
marriage; nor have I the ability to marry her to anybody.
MEG. Hold your peace; be of good courage, Euclio: she
shall be given in marriage; you shall be assisted by myself.
Say, if you have need of aught; command me.
Euc. (aside). Now is he aiming at my property, while he's
making promises; he's gaping for my gold, that he may de-
vour it in the one hand he is carrying a stone¹, while he
shows the bread in the other. I trust no person, who, rich
himself, is exceedingly courteous to a poor man; when he
extends his hand with a kind air, then is he loading you
with some damage. I know these polypiº, who, when they've
touched a thing, hold it fast.
¹ Carrying a stone)—Ver. 152. “To ask for bread, and to receive a stone,'
was a proverbial expression with the ancients. Erasmus says that it was ap-
plied to those who pretended to be friendly to a person, and at the same
time were doing him mischief; and that it was borrowed from persons enticing a
dog with a piece of bread, and, when it had come sufficiently near, pelting it
with a stone. The expression is used in the New Testament. "If a son shall
ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone?" St. Luke, c. xi.,
v. 11. The bread, as we learn from specimens found at Pompeii, was often made
into cakes, which somewhat resembled large stones.
2 These polypi)-—Ver. 155. Ovid says in his Halieuticon, or Treatise on Fishes:
"But, on the other hand, the sluggish polypus sticks to the rocks with its body
provided with feelers, and by this stratagem it escapes the nets; and, according to
the nature of the spot, it assumes and changes its colour, always resembling that
place which it has lighted upon; and when it has greedily seized the prey hanging
from the fishing-line, it likewise deceives the angler on his raising the rod, when,
on emerging into the air, it loosens its feelers, and spits forth the hook that it has
despored of the bait.”
884
Act II.
AULULARIA;
MEG. Give me your attention, Euclio, for a little time: 1
wish to address you in a few words, about a common concern
of yours and mine.
Euc. (aside). Alas! woe is me! my gold has been grabbed
from in-doors: now he's wishing for this thing, I'm sure,
to come to a compromise with me; but I'll go look in my
house. (He goes towards his door.)
MEG. Where are you going? Euc. I'll return to you
directly, for there's something I must go and see to at home.
(He goes into his house.)
MEG. By my troth, I do believe that when I make men-
tion of his daughter, for him to promise her to me, he'll
suppose that he's being laughed at by me; nor is there
out of the whole class of paupers one more beggarly than
he. (EUCLIO returns from his house.)
Evc. (aside). The Gods do favour me; my property's all
safe. If nothing's lost, it's safe. I was very dreadfully
afraid, before I went in-doors! I was almost dead! (Aloud.)
I'm come back to you, Megadorus, if you wish to say any-
thing to me.
MEG. I return you thanks; I beg that as to what I shall
enquire of you, you'll not hesitate to speak out boldly.
Euo. So long, indeed, as you enquire nothing that I mayn't
choose to speak out upon.
MEG. Tell me, of what sort of family do you consider me
to be sprung?
Euc. Of a good one.
character?
MEG. What think you as to my
Euc. 'Tis a good one. MEG. What of my conduct?
Erc. Neither bad nor dishonest. MEG. Do you know
my years ?
Euo. 1 know that they are plentiful, just like your
money.
MEG. I' faith, for sure I really did always take you to
be a citizen without any evil guile, and now I think you
So.
Evo. (aside). He smells the gold. (Aloud.) What do
you want with me now ?
MEG. Since you know me, and I know you, what sort of
person you arc-a thing, that may it bring a blessing on my-
Sc. II,
385
OR, THE CONCEALED TREASURE.
self, and you and your daughter, I ask your daughter as my
wife. Promise me that it shall be so.
Euc. Heyday! Megadorus, you are doing a deed that's
not becoming to your usual actions, in laughing at me, a poor
man, and guiltless towards yourself and towards your family
For neither in act, nor in words, have I ever deserved it of
you, that you should do what you are now doing.
MEG. By my troth, I neither am come to laugh at you,
nor am I laughing at you, nor do I think you deserving
of it.
Euc. Why then do you ask for my daughter for your
self?
MEG. That through me it may be better for you, and
through you and yours for me.
EUC. This suggests itself to my mind, Megadorus, that you
are a wealthy man, a man of rank; that I likewise am a person,
the poorest of the poor; now, if I should give my daughter in
marriage to you, it suggests itself to my mind that you are the
ox, and that I am the ass; when I'm yoked to you, and when
I'm not able to bear the burden equally with yourself, I, the
ass, must lie down in the mire; you, the ox, would regard me
no more than if I had never been born; and I should both find
you unjust, and my own class would laugh at me; in neither
direction should I have a fixed stall, if there should be any
separation¹; the asses would tear me with their teeth, the
oxen would butt at me with their horns. This is the great
hazard, in my passing over from the asses to the oxen.
MEG. The nearer you can unite yourself in alliance with
the virtuous, so much the better. Do you receive this pro-
posal, listen to me, and promise her to me.
Evo. But indeed there is no marriage-portion.
MEG. You are to give none; so long as she comes with
good principles, she is sufficiently portioned.
Evo. I say so for this reason, that you mayn't be sup-
posing that I have found any treasures.
Be any separation)-Ver. 190. "Si quid divortii fuat." By the use of the
word "divortium," he means either an estrangement of himse.f from Megadorus,
or a separation or divorce of the latter from his intended wife, which of course
would lead to the same consequences. The facilities for divorce among the Romans
have been remarked upon in a previous Note.
20
386
Act IL
AULULARIA;
MEG. I know that; don't enlarge upon it. Promise her
to me.
Euc. So be it. (Starts and looks about.) But, O Jupi-
ter, am I not utterly undone ?
MEG. What's the matter with you?
EUC. What was it sounded just now as though it were iron?
MEG. Here at my place, I ordered them to dig up the
garden. (EUCLIO runs off into his house.) But where is this
man? He's off, and he hasn't fully answered me; he treats
me with contempt. Because he sees that I wish for his friend-
ship, he acts after the manner of mankind. For if a wealthy
person goes to ask a favour of a poorer one, the poor man is
afraid to treat with him; through his apprehension he hurts
his own interest. The same person, when this opportunity is
lost, too late, then wishes for it.
Euc. (coming out of the house, addressing STAPHYLA
within). By the powers, if I don't give you up to have your
tongue cut out by the roots, I order and I authorize you
to hand me over to any one you please to be incapacitated.
MEG. By my troth, Euclio, I perceive that you consider
me a fit man for you to make sport of in my old age, for no
deserts of my own.
Euc. I' faith, Megadorus, I am not doing so, nor, should I
desire it, had I the means¹.
MEG. How now? Do you then betroth your daughter to
me?
Euc. On those terms, and with that portion which I mer
tioned to you.
MEG. Do you promise her then?
ner.
Euc. I do promise
MEG. May the Gods bestow their blessings on it.
Euc. May the Gods so do. Take you care of this, and
remember that we've agreed, that my daughter is not to
bring you any portion.
แ
แ
¹ Ilad I the means)—Ver. 210. “ Neque, si cupiam, copia est." In saying this,
Euclio intends to play upon the words of Megadorus, "ludos facias," which may
either signify" you make sport of me," or "you give a public show" or spec-
tacle," which the wealthy Patricians of Rome were in the habit of doing. Euclio
pretends to take his words in the latter sense, and replies, "I couldn't even if I
would," by reason of his poverty, as he pretends. It was usual for the Ediles to
provide the spectacles from their private resources, from which circumstance one
who lived a life of extravagance was said "Edilitatem petere," "to be aspiring
to the Edileship."
Sc. III.
381
OR THE CONCEALED TREASURE.
MEG. I remember it. Euc. But I understar d in what
fashion you, of your class, are wont to equivocate; an agree
ment is no agreement, no agreement is an agreement, just
as it pleases you.
MEG. I'll have no misunderstanding with you. But what
reason is there why we shouldn't have the nuptials this
day?
Euc. Why, by my troth, there is very good reason for them.
MEG. I'll go, then, and prepare matters. Do you want
me in any way?
EUC. That shall be done. Fare you well.
MEG. (going to the door of his house and calling out).
Hallo! Strobilus, follow me quickly, in all haste, to the flesh
(Exit MEGADORUS.
market.
Euc. He has gone hence. Immortal Gods, I do beseech
you! How powerful is gold! I do believe, now, that he has
had some intimation that I've got a treasure at home; he's
gaping for that; for the sake of that has he persisted in this
alliance.
SCENE III. EUCLIO, alone.
EUc. (going to the door of his house, he opens it, and calls
to STAPHYLA within). Where are you who have now been
blabbing to all my neighbours that I'm going to give a por-
tion to my daughter? Hallo! Staphyla, I'm calling you!
Don't you hear? Make haste in-doors there, and wash the
vessels clean. I've promised my daughter in marriage; to-
day I shall give her to be married to Megadorus here.
Enter STAPHYLA, from the house.
STAPH. (as she enters). May the Gods bestow their bless-
ings on it! But, i' faith, it cannot be; 'tis too sudden.
Euc. Hold your tongue, and be off. Take care that things
are ready when I return home from the Forum, and shut the
house up. I shall be here directly.
(Exit.
STAPH. What now am I to do? Now is ruin near at hand
for us, both for myself and my master's daughter; for her
disgrace and her delivery are upon the very pomt of becoming
known; that which even until now has been concealed and
kept secret, cannot be so now. I'll go in-doors, that what my
202
388
Act III.
AULULARIA ;
1
master ordered may be done when he comes. But, by my
faith, I do fear that I shall have to drink of a mixture of
bitterness¹!
ACT III.-SCENE I.
(Exit.
Enter STROBILUS, ANTHRAX, and CONGRIO, with MUSIC-
GIRLS, and PERSONS carrying provisions.
STRO. After my master had bought the provisions, and
hired the cooks and these music-girls in the market-place, he
ordered me to divide these provisions into two parts.
CON. By my troth, but you really shan't be dividing me³, I
tell you plainly. If you wish me to go anywhere whole, I'll
do my best.
ANTH. A very pretty and modest fellow, indeed¹. As if,
when
you are a conger by name, you wouldn't like to be cut
into pieces.
CON. But, Anthrax, I said that in another sense, and not
in the one which you are pretending.
STRO. Now my master's going to be married to-day.
ANTH. Whose daughter is he to marry ? STRO. The
daughter of this Euclio, his near neighbour here. For that
reason he has ordered half of these provisions here to be pre-
sented to him—one cook, and one music-girl likewise.
ANTH. That is, you take one half to him, the other half
home?
¹ A mixture of bitterness)—Ver. 235. Hildyard suggests that Staphyla is fond
of a drop, and likes her liquors neat (" merum "), wherefore it is a double misfor-
tune to her, not only to endure misfortunes, but those of a "mixed" nature.
"Mixtum" was the term applied to the wine, when mixed with its due proportion
of water for drinking.
2 Hired the cooks)—Ver. 236. Allusion has been made, in the Notes to the
Pseudolus, to the custom of hiring cooks in the markets on any special occasion.
These were frequently slaves; and in such case, the greater portion of their
earnings would go into the pockets of their masters. From the remark made
ul. 265, we find that Congrio and Anthrax are slaves.
17.66
3 You really shan't be dividing me)-Ver. 239. He alludes to his own name,
"Congrio,
a conger eel," which was cut up before it was cooked; and he means
to say, that spite of his name, he will not stand being divided by Strobilus.
♦ Modest fellow, indeed)—Ver. 241. Anthrax gives a very indelicate turn to
the remark of Congrio; and the liberty has been taken of giving a more harm-
less form to the gross witticism of Anthrax. It may be here remarked, that he
takes his name from the Greek word, signifying "a coal," a commodity, of
course much in request with cooks.
Sc. I.
389
OR, THE CONCEALED TREASURE.
STRO. 'Tis just as you say. ANTH. How's that? Couldn't
this old fellow provide from his own resources for the wedding
of his daughter.
STRO. Pshaw! ANTH. What's the matter?
STRO. What's the matter, do you ask? A pumice stone
isn't so dry as is this old fellow.
ANTH. Do you really say that it is as you affirm?
STRO. Do be judge yourself. Why, he's for ever crying
out for aid from Gods and men, that his property has gone,
and that he is ruined root and branch, if the smoke by chance
escapes out of doors through the rafters of his house. Why,
when he goes to sleep, he ties a bag¹ beneath his gullet.
ANTH. Why so? STRO. That when he sleeps, he may lose
no breath.
ANTH. And does he stop up the lower part of his wind-
pipe² as well, lest, perchance, he should lose any breath as he
sleeps ?
STRO. In that 'tis as fair that you should credit me, as it is
for me to credit you.
ANTH. Why really, I do believe you.
STRO. But, further, do you know how it is? I' faith, he
grieves to throw away the water when he washes.
ANTH. Do you think a great talents might be begged of
this old fellow for him to give us, through which we might be-
come free?
STRO. By my troth, if you were to ask it, he would never
let you have the loan of hunger. Why, the other day, the
barber had cut his nails; he collected all the parings, and
carried them off.
¹ He ties a bag)—Ver. 257. He probably intends to hint here that Euclio sleeps
with his purse (which consisted of a "follis," or "leathern bag ") tied round his
throat, but implies that he not only wishes thereby to save his money, but his
breath as well, by having the mouth of the bag so near to his own. Although
Thornton thinks that the suggestion of Lambinus that "follem obstringit' means,
"he ties up the nozzle of the bellows," is forced and far-fetched, it is far from im-
probable that that is the meaning of the passage. It may possibly mean that he
ties the bellows to his throat.
2 Part of his windpipe)—Ver. 260. An indelicate remark is here made, which
has been obviated in the translation.
3 A great talent)—Ver. 264. As the ancients weighed silver on paying a talent,
the word "talentum" denoted both a sum of money and a weight. The great
talent here mentioned, was the Attic talent of sixty minæ, or six thousand
drachmæ.
• Had cut his nails)—Ver 267. From this passage we learn that barbers were
390
Act III.
AULULARIA;
ANTH. I' faith, you do describe a miserably stingy wretch.
CON. But do you think that he does live so very stingily
and wretchedly?
STRO. A kite, the other day, carried off his morsel of food;
the fellow went crying to the Prætor¹; there, weeping and
lamenting, he began to request that he might be allowed to
compel the kite to give bail. There are innumerable other
things that I could mention, if I had the leisure. But which
of you two is the sharper? Tell me.
CON. I-as being inuch the better one. STRO. A Cook I
ask for, not a thief².
CON. As a cook, I mean. STRO. (to ANTHRAX). What do
you say ?
ANTII. I'm just as you see me.
in the habit of paring the nails of their customers; in the Epistles of Horace,
B. 1, Ep. 7, 1. 50, we are informed that idlers pared their nails in the barber,
shops of Rome.
¹ To the Prætor)-Ver. 272. The "Prætor" was a magistrate at Rome, who
administered justice, and ranked next to the Consuls. There were eight Prætors
in the time of Cicero. Two of them were employed in adjudicating "in causis
privatis," "disputes concerning private property." One of these was called
"Prætor urbanus," or "the city Prætor," who administered justice when the parties
were "cives," or possessed the rights of Roman citizenship. The other was called
"Prætor peregrinus," or "the foreigners' Prætor," who administered justice when
both the litigating parties, or only one of them, were "peregrini," or "foreigners,”
and had not the right of Roman citizenship. The other six Prætors had juris-
diction in criminal cases, such as murder, adultery, and violence. The Prætors
committed the examination of causes to subordinate judges, who were called
'judices selecti," and they published the sentences of the judges so appointed by
them. The Prætors wore the "toga prætexta," or "magisterial robe," sat on the
"sella curulis," and were preceded by six lictors. Their duties lasted for a year,
after which they went as governors to such provinces as had no army, which were
assigned to them by lot. There they administered justice in the same way as
they had done as Prætors at Rome, and were called by the name of " Proprætores;"
though, as such governors, they were also sometimes called "Prætores." The
office of Prætor was first instituted at Rome A.U.c. 388, partly because the Consuls,
on account of the many wars in which the Romans were engaged, could no longer
administer justice; partly that the Patricians might thereby have a compensation
for admitting the Plebeians to a share in the Consulate. At first there was only
one Prætor; Sylla made their number six; Julius Cæsar eight; and Augustus
increased them to sixteen. It will not escape observation, that Plautus, as usual,
mentions a Roman officer in a Play, the scene of which is supposed to be
Athens.
"Not a thief)—Ver. 277. Because "celer," "sharp" or "nimble," would
especially apply to the requisite qualifications for an expert thief.
Sc. I.
391
OR, THE CONCEALED TREASURE.
CON. He's a nine-day cook¹; every ninth day he's in the
habit of going out to cook.
ANTH. You, you three-lettered fellow²; do
you thief?
you
abuse me,
CON. To be sure I do, you trebly-distilled thief of thieves³.
STRO. Now do you hold your tongue for the present,
and, that lamb, whichever is the fatter of the two-
CON. Very well. STRO. Do you, Congrio, take that, and
go in-doors there (pointing to EUCLIO's house); and (to a
MUSIC-GIRL and some of the PEOPLE with provisions) do you
follow him; the rest of you this way, to our house.
CON. By my troth, you've made an unfair division; they've
got the fattest lamb.
STRO. But the fattest music-girl shall be given you then.
Do you, therefore, go along with him, Phrygia5. And do
you, Eleusium, step in-doors here, to our house.
¹ A nine-day cook)-Ver. 279. Congrio probably means to say that Anthrax is a
cook who only gets employment on the "Nundina," when the influx of country-
people into the city called the services of even the worst cooks into requisition,
and the eaters were not of the most fastidious description. The "Nundina" (so
called from " nonæ," "ninth," and "dies," "day") returned every eighth day,
according to our mode of reckoning; but according to the Romans, who, in count-
ing, reckoned both extreme, every ninth day, whence the name. On this day the
country-people came into the city to sell their wares, make their purchases, hear
the new laws read, and learn the news. By the Hortensian law, the "Nundina,"
which before were only "feriæ," or "holidays," were made "fasti," or court-
days," that the country-people then in town might have their lawsuits deter-
mined. Lipsius thinks that reference is here made to the feast called noven-
diale," which was sometimes given to the poorer classes on the ninth day after the
funeral of a person of affluence. Probably, the cooking of these banquets was not
of the highest order; but the former seems the more probable explanation of the
passage.
แ
(
2 Three-lettered fellow)-Ver. 280. "Trium literarum homo;" literally, "man
of three letters"-"FUR," "thief."
• Thief of thieves)-Ver. 281. "Fur trifurcifer." Strictly speaking, the latter
word signifies "thief three times over.'
• Very well)-Ver. 283. Congrio answers" licet," by way of assent to Stro-
bilus, thinking that he is asking him to take the fattest lamb, on which Stro-
bilus gives him the leanest one. Hildyard suggests that Congrio fancies that
Strobilus is asking which is the fattest cook, and not the fattest lamb, ana ac-
cordingly says, "Very well," thereby admitting that he is the fattest of the two.
If there is any such wit intended in the passage, it is very recondite.
5 Phrygia)-Ver. 287. "Phrygia" was an appropriate girl for a "tibicina,"
music-girl," or female player on the flute, as that instrument was originally
introduced from Phrygia, or Lydia, which adjoined it. Eleusium would probably
392
Act III
AULULARIA;
CON. O you crafty Strobilus, have you pushed me off here
upon this most miserly old fellow, where if I ask for anything,
I may ask even to hoarseness before anything's found me?
STRO. 'Tis very foolish, and 'tis thanklessly done, to do a
service to you, when what you do goes for nothing.
CON. But how so? STRO. Do you ask? In the first
place then, there will be no confusion for you there in the
house; if you want anything to use, bring it from your own
home, don't lose your trouble in asking for it. But here,
at our house, there's great confusion, and a large establish-
ment-furniture, gold, garments, silver vessels.
If any-
thing's lost here (as I know that you can easily keep
hands off if nothing's in your way), they may say, "The
cooks have stolen it; seize them, bind them, beat them,
thrust them in the dungeon"2. Nothing of that sort will
happen to you, inasmuch as there will be nothing for you tc
steal. Follow me this way.
CON. I follow.
STRO. (knocking at the door of EUCLIO's house). Ho, there
Staphyla, come out and open the door.
STAPH. (from within). Who calls there? STRO. Strobilus.
SCENE II. Enter STAPHYLA.
STAPH. What do you want? STRO. For you to take in
these cooks, and this music-girl, and these provisions for the
wedding. Megadorus bade me take these things to Euclio.
STAPH. Are you about to make this wedding, Strobilus, in
honor of Ceres3 ?
derive her name from Eleusis in Attica, where the mysteries of Ceres were cele-
brated. Players on the "tibia" were much in request on festive occasions, espe-
cially at weddings, as in the present instance. The "tibicine" were probably
hired in the market-place, the same way as the cooks.
1 You can easily)—Ver. 299. Facile," "easily," seems a preferable reading to
'facere." If the latter reading is adopted, there are three consecutive verbs in the
Infinitive mood, which, even in the (occasionally) uncouth language of Plautus,
sounds very uneuphoniously, "Facere abstinere posse."
2 In the dungeon)-Ver. 301. "Puteus" here signifies the black hole or dun-
geon underground (called also "ergastulum"), where the refractory slaves were
put in confinement.
3 In honor of Ceres)-Ver. 309. The old woman probably alludes to the
Thesmophoria, where abstinence from wine was especially practised, and which
were celebrated in a state of fasting and purification. Her question here tends to
confirm the suspicion that she was more fond of the "merum" than the "mixtum,"
reference to which has already been made.
Sc. IV.
393
OR, THE CONCEALED TREASURE.
STRO. Why? STAPH. Because I don't see any wine brought.
STRO. Why, that will be brought just now, when he himself
comes back from the market.
STAPH. There's no firewood here in our house.
CON. There are the beams. STAPH. I' faith, there are.
CON. There is wood, then; don't you be seeking it out of
doors.
STAPH. What, you unpurified fellow', although your busi
ness is with the fire, for the sake of a dinner, or of your own
hire, do you request us to set our house on fire?
CON. I don't ask you. STRO. Take them in-doors.
STAPH. Follow me. (They follow her in-doors, and STRO-
BILUS goes with the others into the house of MEGADORUS.)
SCENE III. Enter PYTHODICUs, from the house of
MEGADORUS.
Pутн. Mind you your business; I'll step in and see what
the cooks are doing, to observe whom, i' faith, to-day it is a
most laborious task. Unless I manage this one thing, for them
to cook the dinner down in the dungeon; thence, when cooked,
we might bring it up again in small baskets. But if they
should eat below whatever they should cook, those above would
go without their dinner, and those below have dined. But
here am I chattering, as though I had no business, when there's
such a pack of thieves in the house. (Goes into the house.)
SCENE IV. Enter EUCLIO, with some chaplets of flowers in
his hand.
Euc. I wished at length to screw up my courage to-day,
so as to enjoy myself at the wedding of my daughter. I
come to the market, I enquire about fish; they tell me that
it is dear, that lamb is dear, beef is dear, veal, large fish',
1 You unpurified fellow)-Ver. 313. Impurate." You that are unpurified,
in spite of your everlastingly stewing over the fire." She alludes, figuratively, te
the process of smelting and purifying metals by the action of fire.
แ
2 In the dungeon)-Ver. 319. By the use of the word "puteus" he may possibly
mean the black hole or dungeon alluded to in 1. 301, whence there was no
means of egress but by being drawn up. He means to say that such a place will be
the only one for preventing the cooks from thieving whatever comes in their way.
The thievish propensities of the hired cooks are also referred to in the Pseudolus.
³ Should eat below)-Ver. 321. He reflects that if they are put in the "puteus"
to prevent their thieving, they may possibly revenge themselves by eating up the
victuals as fast as they cook it.
* Large fish)-Ver 329 "Cetus" or "cate" properly signifies fish of the
394
Act IIL
AULULARIA;
and pork, all of them are dear. And for this reason were they
still dearer; I hadn't the money. I came away thence in
a rage, since I had nothing wherewithal to make a purchase;
and thus did I baulk all those rascals. Then I began to
think with myself upon the road, "If you are guilty of any
extravagance on a festive day, you may be wanting on a
common day, unless you are saving." After I disclosed this.
reasoning to my heart and appetite, my mind came over to
my opinion, that I ought to give my daughter in marriage at
as little expense as possible. Now I've bought a bit of
frankincense, and these chaplets of flowers; these shall be
placed upon the hearth for our household God, that he may
grant a propitious marriage to my daughter. But what
do I— ? Do I behold my house open? There's a noise,
too, within; is it that I'm robbed, wretch that I am?
CON. (speaking within the house). Seek of the neighbours a
bigger pot if you can; this one's too little, it can't hold it.
Euc. Woe to me! By my faitl, I'm a dead man; the gold's
being carried off-my pot's being looked for. I am certainly
murdered, unless I make haste to run with all haste in-
doors here! Apollo, prithee do assist and help me, whom
thou hast already, before this, helped in such circumstances.
Pierce with thine arrows the plunderers of my treasures. But
am I delaying to run, before I perish outright. (He runs
into his house.)
SCENE V.—Enter ANTHRAX, from the house of MEGADORUS.
ANTH. (speaking to some within). Dromo, do you scale the
fish. Do you, Machario, have the conger and the lamprey
boned. I'm going to ask the loan of a baking-pan of
whale or dolphin kind; it perhaps means here simply the larger and coarser fish
in use among the Romans, like plaice or codfish with us. He probably would no
ask the price of "pisciculi," or "small fish," as their dearness would terrify him
out of his wits.
¹ Did I baulk)-Ver. 332. "Manum adire" probably signified "to kiss the
hand" to a person when expecting something more than that, and thereby “to make
a fool of him." He asked the prices of all the commodities, and probably chaffered
about them, then kissed his hand to the dealers, and left the market without pur-
chasing. Some think it alludes to a feint or baulk made in wrestling.
2 A bigger pot)-Ver. 344. Congrio is bawling out within doors for a bigger
aula,"
pot" or "jar," to be brought for his cooking, on which the old huncks
thinks that some thieves have discovered his own dear "aula.”
66
Sc. VII.
395
OR, THE CONCEALED TREASURE.
our neighbour Congrio. You, if you are wise, will have that
capon more smoothly picked for me than is a plucked play-
actor¹. But what's this clamour that's arising here hard
by? By my faith, the cooks, I do believe, are at their usual
pranks2. I'll run in-doors, lest there may be any disturbance
here for me as well. (Retreats into the house of MEGADORUS.)
SCENE VI.---Enter CONGRIO, in haste, from the house of
EUCLIO.
CON. (roaring out). Beloved fellow-citizens, fellow-country-
men, inhabitants, neighbours, and all strangers, do make way
for me to escape! Make all the streets clear! Never have 1
at any time, until this day, come to Bacchants³, in a Baccha-
nalian den, to cook; so sadly have they mauled wretched me
and my scullions with their sticks. I'm aching all over, and
am utterly done for; that old fellow has so made a bruising
school of me; and in such a fashion has he turned us all out
of the house, myself and them, laden with sticks. Nowhere,
in all the world, have I ever seen wood dealt out more plen-
tifully. Alackaday! by my faith, to my misery, I'm done
for; the Bacchanalian den is opening, here he comes.
following us. I know the thing I'll do: that the master
himself has taught me.
He's
SCENE VII. Enter EUCLIO, from his house, driving the
Cooks and the MUSIC-GIRL before him.
Evo. (calling out, while CONGRIO and the others are run-
¹ A plucked play-actor)—Ver. 356. The actors, having to perform the parts of
women and beardless youths, were obliged to remove superfluous hair from the
face, which was effected "vellendo," "by plucking it out," whence the term
"volsus."
(
2 At their usual pranks)—Ver. 358. "Faciunt officium suum." Literally
are doing their duty." He says this ironically; on hearing the row going on in
Euclio's house, he supposes that the cooks are up to their old tricks of thieving
and wrangling.
3 To Bacchants)-Ver. 362. The Bacchants, or frantic female worshippers of
Bacchus, with their rites, have been alluded to in a Note at the commencement of
the Bacchides.
4 A bruising school)-Ver. 364. Literally, "a Gymnasium." The Gymnasium
was the place where vigorous exercise was taken; so Congrio means to say that
Euclio has been taking exercise in basting his back.
5 The master himself)—Ver. 368. By "magister" he probably means Euclio,
whom he styles the master of the Gymnasium, whose duty it was to train the
pupils in the various exercises. He says that his master has taught him a trick,
namely, how to defend himself, which in the next Scene he threatens to do.
396
Act IIL
AULULARIA
ning off). Come back! Where are you running to, now?
Hold you!
CON. Why are you crying out, you stupid?
EUC. Because this instant I shall give your name to the
Triumvirs¹.
CON. Why? Euc. Because you've got a knife.
CON. 'Tis the proper thing for a cook. Euc. Why did
you threaten me?
CON. I think that it was badly managed, that I didn't
pierce your side with it.
Euc. There's not a person that's living this day a greater
rascal than you, nor one to whom designedly I would with
greater pleasure cause a mischief.
CON. I' faith, though you should hold your noise, really
that's quite clear; the thing itself is its own witness. As
it is, I'm made softer by far with your sticks than any ballet-
dancer. But what right have you to touch us, you beggar-
man? What's the matter?
Euc. Do you even ask me? Is it that I've done less than
ought to have done? Only let me
strike him.)
(Is going to
CON. Now, by my faith, at your great peril, if this head
should feel it!
EUC. Troth, I don't know what may happens hereafter;
your head feels it just now! But what business, pray, had
you in my house, in my absence, unless I had ordered you?
I want to know that.
¹ To the Triumvirs)—Ver. 369. "Trisviros." Though the scene is in Greece
he refers to the "Triumviri capitales," who were Roman magistrates. They took
cognizance of capital crimes, and they apprehended criminals. In conjunction
with the Ediles, they had to preserve the public peace, to prevent unlawful as-
semblies, and to enforce the payment of fines due to the state. They had also
the care of the public prisons, and to them was entrusted the punishment of cri-
micals. They had authority to inflict summary punishment upon the slaves and
the lower orders, though, probably, not upon those who enjoyed the rights of
Roman citizens.
2 r' faith, though)-Ver. 375. In Hildyard's edition this and the next line are
given to Euclio; but they seem much more likely to belong to Congrio, as we do
not find that any person has beat Euclio with sticks, whereas Congrio has already
complained of the rough usage he has experienced.
3 What may happen)-Ver. 380. Euclio is laughing at his "ifs," which com-
mence the saving-clause of all cowards. He does not care what Congrio will da
but he knows that he has already made his head to feel it.
Sc. VII.
391
OR, THE CONCEALED TRF.ASURE.
CON. Hold your noise, then; because we came to cook
for the wedding.
Euc. Why the plague do you trouble yourself whether I
eat meat raw or cooked, unless you are my tutor¹.
Con. I want to know if you will allow or not allow us to
cook the dinner here ?
Euc. I, too, want to know whether my property will be
safe in my house.
CON. I only wish to carry the things away safe that I
brought here! I don't care for yours; should I be coveting
your things?
Euc. I understand; don't teach me; I know.
CON. What is it, on account of which you now hinder us
from cooking the dinner here? What have we done? What
have we said to you otherwise than you could wish?
Euc. Do you even ask me, you rascally fellow? You who've
been making a thoroughfare of every corner of my house, and
the places under lock and key? If you had stopped by the
fireside, where it was your business, you wouldn't have had
your head broken. It has been done for you deservedly'
Therefore that you may now know my determination; if you
come nearer to the door here, unless I order you, I'll make
you to be the most wretched of creatures. Do you now know
my determination? (He goes into his house.)
CON. Where are you going? Come you back again! So
may Laverna? love me well, I'll expose you at once with loud
abuse here before the house, if you don't order my utensils tc
be restored to me! What shall I do now? Verily, by my
faith, I came here with unlucky auspices; I was hired for a
didrachm³; I stand in more need now of a surgeon than of
wages.
1 You re my tutor)—Ver. 384. One of the duties of the "pædagogus," or
"tutor of boys," would be to see that they did not eat unwholesome food.
2 So may Laverna)—Ver. 399. Laverna was a Goddess worshipped by the
thievish fraternity at Rome, as their tutelar Divinity. Horace makes mention of
her in his Epistles, B. 1, Ep. 16.
³ For a didrachm)-Ver. 402. “Nummo." It has been remarked, in the Notes
to the Pseudolus, that a "nummus," or didrachm, of nearly twenty-pence of our
money, was the wages of a good cook for a day's employment. See the Pseudolus
800-810.
398
Act III.
AULULARIA
แ
SCENE VIII.—Enter EUCLIO, from his house, with the pot of
money under his cloak.
EUc. (to himself, as he enters). This, by my faith, wherever
I shall go, really shall be with me, and with myself will I
carry it, nor will I ever again entrust it to that place, for it to
be in such great peril. (Speaking to CONGRIO and his SCUL-
LIONS.) Now, then, go you all of you in the house, cooks and
music-girls; introduce even, if you like, a whole company of
hirelings; cook, bustle, and hurry now at once just as much
as you please.
CON. O dear, I'm a ruined man.
was hired here, not your talk.
Euc. Be off! your labour
CON. Harkye, old gentleman, for the beating, by my faith,
I shall demand of you a recompense. I was hired a while ago
to cook, and not to be basted.
Euc. Proceed against me at law! Don't be troublesome!
Either cook the dinner, or away with you from the house to
downright perdition!
CON. Go there yourself then. (CONGRIO and the Сooks
and MUSIC-GIRL go back into the house.)
SCENE IX.-EUCLIO, alone.
Euc. He's gone. Immortal Gods! A poor man, who begins
to have dealings or business with an opulent one, commences
upon a rash undertaking! Thus, for instance, Megadorus
who has pretended that, for the sake of honoring me, he sends
these cooks hither, is plaguing unfortunate me in every way;
for this reason has he sent them, that they might purloin
this (putting his hand on the pot) from unfortunate me. Just
as I might expect, even my dunghill-cock in-doors, that was
bought with the old woman's savings?, had well nigh been the
ruin of me; where this was buried, he began to scratch there
all round about with his claws. What need of more words?
So exasperated were my feelings, I took a stick, and knocked
1 Company of hirelings)—Ver. 406. "Venalium" may mean either "slaves” or
hirelings;" it does not much signify which, as the cooks, in this instance at
least, were both. Having secured his money, Euclio does not care if a whole
gang of thieves is admitted into his house, as there is nothing for them to steal.
* With the old woman's savings)-Ver. 420. "Ani peculiaris." Bought out of
the "peculium," or "savings," of the old woman.
Sc. X.
399
OR, THE CON( EALED TREASURE.
off the head of the cock—a thief caught in the act. I' faith,
I do believe that the cooks had promised a reward to the cock,
if he should discover it; I took the opportunity¹ out of their
hands, however. What need of many words? I had a regu-
lar battle with the dunghill-cock. But see, ry neighbour
Megadorus is coming from the Forum. I can't, then, venture
to pass by him, but I must stop and speak to him. (He
retires close to his door.)
SCENE X.-Enter MEGADORUS, at a distance.
MEG. (to himself). I've communicated to many friends my
design about this proposal; they speak in high terms of the
daughter of Euclio. They say that it was discreetly done, and
with great prudence. But, in my opinion, indeed, if the other
richer men were to do the same, so as to take home as their
wives, without dower, the daughters of the poorer persons,
both the state would become much more united, and we should
meet with less ill feeling than we now meet with; both, they,
the wives, would stand in fear of punishment more than they
do stand in fear of it, and we husbands should be at less
expense than we now are. In the greater part of the people
this is a most just way of thinking; in the smaller portion
there is an objection among the avaricious, whose avaricious
minds and insatiate dispositions there is neither law nor ma-
gistrate to be able to put a check upon. But a person may
say this; "How are these rich women with portions to marry,
if this law is laid down for the poor ?"
Let them marry
whom they please, so long as the dowry isn't their companion.
If this were so done, the women would acquire for themselves
better manners for them to bring, in place of dowry, than they
row bring. I'd make mules, which exceed horses in price,
to become cheaper than Gallic geldings³.
¹ Took the opportunity)—Ver. 425. “Eximere ex manu manubrium," literally
means, "to take the handle out of the hand," and its figurative application
derived from the act of taking a sword out of the hand of a person who is abont
to use it.
2 A regular battle)-Ver. 426. Hildyard suggests that, in these words, there
is probably a reference to some current saying or proverb. If such is the case,
the saying so referred to has not come down to us.
3 Than Gallic geldings)-Ver. 449. Mules were much coveted by the haughty
aames of Roine for the purpose of drawing their carriages. He says that if he
nad his way, such extravagance should not be encczraged, and mules should not
be a bit more valuable than humble Gallic geldings.
400
Act III,
AULULARIA;
Euc. (aside). So may the Gods favour mc, I listen to him
with delight; very shrewdly has he discoursed on the side
of economy.
MEG. (to himself). No wife should then be saying: "In-
deed, I brought you a marriage-portion far greater than was
your own wealth; why, it really is fair that purple and gold
should be found for me, maid-servants, mules, muleteers, and
lacqueys¹, pages to carry2 compliments, vehicles in which I
may be carried.”
Euc. (aside). How thoroughly he does understand the
doings of the wives! I wish he were made Prefect of the
manners of the women.
MEG. (to himself). Now, go where you will, you may see more
carriages³ among the houses than in the country when you go to
a farm-house. But this is even light, in comparison with wher
they ask for their allowance; there stands the scourer, the
embroiderer, the goldsmith, the woollen-manufacturer, retail
dealers in figured skirts, dealers in women's under-clothing,
¹ And lacqueys)—Ver. 455. “Pedissequos." The "pedissequi” were a particular
class of slaves whose duty it was to follow their master when he went out of doors.
They were of the lowest rank in the slave family.
2 Pages to carry)—Ver. 456. The "salutigeruti pueri" were boys whose busi-
ness it was to run on errands, and carry messages and compliments from one house
to another. Hildyard suggests the rather refined translation of "boys to carry
visiting-cards."
แ
carts" or
3 More carriages)-Ver. 459. "Plaustra" generally mean
"" wag-
gons," and perhaps, from his reference to the country, may have that signification
here; though he has just been speaking of the luxury of the ladies, with their
vehicla," or "carriages.'
">
4 The scourer)—Ver. 462. The "fullo" was a washer and cleaner of linen and
woollen clothing with fuller's earth. As woollen dresses were chiefly worn by the
Romans, they would, by reason of the perspiration produced by so hot a climate,
require frequent purification. As the ancients, probably, were not acquainted
with the use of ordinary washing soap, various alkalis were used in its place for
the purpose of cleansing garments. It is not known whether the fuller's earth of
the Romans resembled that used at the present day.
s Dealers in figured skirts)—Ver. 463. "Patagiarii." These were persons who
sold the "patagium," which was a broad band or hem on the tunics of the women,
answering to the "clavus," or "broad stripe," on the clothes of the men.
It may
possibly have been the same as the "instita," or broad founce, which distinguished
the Roman matrons of reputable character.
• Dealers in women's under-clothing)-Ver. 463. Indusiarii," "makers" or
"sellers" of the "indusium," which is by some thought to have been the upper
tunic worn by the Roman women; while others suppose the under tunic, wcrn
next the skin, to have been so called, from "intus," "innermost."
Sc. X.
401
UR, THE CONCEALED TREASURE.
dyers in flame-colour, dyers in violet, dyers in wax-colour¹, or
else sleeve-makers2, or perfumers3; wholesale linendrapers,
shoemakers, squatting cobblers, slipper-makers; sanda.-
makers stand there; stainers in mallow colour stand there;
hairdressers make their demands, botchers their demands;
boddice-makers stand there; makers of kirtles take their
stand. Now you would think them got rid of; these make
way, others make their demands; three hundred duns7
¹ Dyers in wax-colour)-Ver. 464. "Carinarii." Ovid, in the Art of Love,
B. 3, 1. 184, has the line, "Sua velleribus nomina cera dedit." "The wax has
given its own name to the wool." The yellow colour resembling that of wax was
much esteemed by the Romans.
2 Sleeve-makers)-Ver. 465. "Manulearii," "makers of the inanulea." This
was a long sleeve fitted on to the tunics of the Roman ladies, and was probably
made to take on and off, for the purpose of keeping the arms and hands warm.
ΟΙ
"1
3 Perfumers)-Ver. 465. "Murobrecharii." One reading here is "murroba-
thrarii," "persons who give an agreable smell to women's shoes, by scenting
them with myrrh." "Murobrecharii," which is adopted above, means "perfumers,
persons who scented the clothes," from the Greek μupòv, "ointment," and
Bpéxw, "to moisten." Myrrh or nard was much used for this purpose.
Βρέχω,
The
unguents or ointments used by the ancients were very numerous. Among those
used for the skin or the hair were "mendesium," "megalesium," "meto-
pium," "amaracinum," Cyprinum," susinum," " nardinum,' spicatum,"
jasminum,”
""rosaceum," and crocus oil, which last was considered the most
costly. Powders were also used as perfumes; they were called " diapasmata."
The Greeks used expensive perfumes from early times, and both Greeks and
Romans were in the habit of carrying them about in small boxes of elegant work-
manship. In the luxurious city of Capua, there was one great street, called
the "Seplasia," which consisted entirely of shops in which ointments and per-
fumes were sold.
"
แ
"" ،،
♦ Hairdressers)—Ver. 469. "Ciniflones." The "ciniflones" were those per-
sons whose duty it was to heat the "calamistrum," or "curling-iron," in wood-
ashes (cinis), from which they took their name. In the time of Cicero, the youths
of Rome generally had their hair curled, whence they were termed "calamis-
trati."
5 Boddice-makers)—Ver. 471. "Strophiarii." These were makers of the band
or stomacher which was worn by the women, to correct excessive protuberance of
the breast and stomach.
• Makers of kirtles)—Ver. 470 “Semizonarii." These were makers or sellers
of "semicinctia," which were little "aprons" <r "kirtles" extending half way
down the body.
7 Three hundred duns)-Ver. 472. " Phylacista," from the Greek puλakITTYS,
φυλακιστής,
a keeper of a prison." He calls "duns" or importunate creditors by this
name, from their keeping as close a watch on the front of a debtor's bcuse as
at they were gaolers.
20
402
Act III
AULULARIA;
are standing in your hall; weavers, lace-makers¹, cabinet-
makers, are introduced; the money's paid them. You
would think them got rid of by this; when dyers in saffron-
colours come sneaking along; or else there's always some
horrid plague or other which is demanding something.
Euc. (aside). I would accost him, if I didn't fear that he
would cease to descant upon the ways of women; for the
present I'll leave him as he is.
MEG. When the money has been paid to all the nicknack-
mongers, for these saffron-coloured garments and stomachers,
your wife's expenses, then at the last comes the tax-gatherers
and asks for money. You go, your account is being made up
with your banker; the tax-gatherer waits, half-starved, and
thinks the money will be paid. When the account has been
made up with the banker, even already is the husband himself
in debt to the banker, and the hopes of the tax-gatherer are
postponed to another day. These, and many others, are the
inconveniences and intolerable expenses of great portions;
but she who is without portion is in the power of her hus-
band; the portioned ones overwhelm their husbands with
loss and ruin. But see; here's my connexion by marriage
before the house! How do you do, Euclio?
Euc. With very great pleasure have I listened to your
discourse.
MEG. Did you hear me? Euc. Everything from the
very beginning.
MEG. (eyeing him from head to foot). Still, in my way of
thinking indeed, you would be acting a little more becomingly
if you were more tidy at the wedding of your daughter.
Euc. Those who have display according to their circum-
¹ Lace-makers)-Ver. 473. "Limbuarii." The makers of "limbus," "lace" or
'fringes" for women's dresses.
2 Cabinet-makers)—Ver. 473. “Arculari," makers of "arcus," "caskets” or
cabinets" for jewels and nicknacks.
The tax-gatherer)—Ver. 481. "Miles." Literally, "the soldier." This 18
explained as meaning that the soldier comes to receive the military tribute levied
by the Tribunes, which was called "as militare." The word may, however
possibly mean simply the officer of the magistrate by whom the tribute was levied,
"miles" has sometimes, though very rarely, that signification.
ԳՏ
• With your banker)—Ver. 482. The "argentarii" acted as bankers of deposit
npon whom the depositors drew checks as with us.
Sc. X.
403
OR, THE CONCEALED TREASURE.
stances and splendour according to their means¹, remember
themselves, from whence they are sprung; neither by myself,
Megadorus, nor by any poor man, are better circumstances
enjoyed than appearances warrant.
MEG. Surely they are; and may the Gods, I hope, make
them so to be, and more and more may they prosper that
which you now possess.
Euc. (aside). That expression don't please me, "which you
now possess." He knows that I've got this, as well as I do
myself: the old woman has discovered it to him.
MEG. Why do you separate yourself thus alone, apart
from the Senate??
Euc. Troth, I was considering whether I should accuse
you deservedly.
MEG. What's the matter? Euc. Do you ask me what's
the matter? You who have filled every corner in my house,
for wretched me, with thieves? You who have introduced
into my dwelling five hundred cooks, with six hands a-piece,
of the race of Geryon³, whom were Argus to watch, who was
eyes all over, that Juno once set as a spy upon Jupiter, he
never could watch them; a music-girl besides, who could
alone drink up for me the Corinthian fountain of Pirene¹, if
it were flowing with wine? And then as to provisions-
MEG. Troth, there's enough for a procurer even. I sent
as much as a lamb.
According to their means)—Ver. 496. Shakspeare expresses the same idea in
Hamlet, Act II., Sc. 3:
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not expressed in fancy.
2 Apart from the Senate)—Ver. 504. As the Senate consults about the com-
mon interests, so are they discussing their common sentiments. Megadorus there-
fore, on hearing him talking to himself, asks him why he is withdrawing himself
from the discussions of the Senate.
3 Of the race of Geryon)—Ver. 509. Geryon was a King of Spam, slain by
Hercules. He was fabled to have had three heads and three bodies, consequently
six hands.
* Fountain of Pirene)—Ver. 514. Pirene, the daughter of Acheloüs, on Con-
chreas her son by Neptune being slain by Diana, pined away, and was changed
into a fountain, which was in the Arx Corinthiacus, or Citadel of Corinth, and
retained her name.
5 For a procurer)-Ver. 515. Who might be presumed to have a voracious and
ungovernable appetite, and probably a large household to satisfy. Some editions
however, have "legioni," which would almost appear to be a preferable reading
almost enough for a whole legion."
2 D 2
404
Act IIl.
AULULARIA;
EUC. Than which lamb, I, indeed, know right well that
there is nowhere a more curious¹ beast existing.
MEG. I wish to know of you why is this lamb curious?
Euc. Because it's all skin and bone, so lean is it with
care; why, even when alive, by the light of the sun you
may look at its entrails; it's just as transparent as a Punic
lantern2.
MEG. I bought it to be killed.
Euc. Then it's best that you likewise should bargain for³
it to be carried out for burial; for I believe it's dead by this
time.
MEG. Euclio, I wish this day to have a drinking with you.
Euc. By my troth, I really must not drink.
MEG. But I'll order one cask of old wine to be brought
from my house.
Euc. I' faith, I won't have it; for I've determined to
drink water.
MEG. I'll have you well drenched this day, if I live, you
who have determined to drink water.
Evc. (aside). I know what plan he's upon; he's aiming
at this method, to overcome me with wine, and after that, to
change the settlement of what I possess: I'll take care of
¹ A more curious)-Ver. 517. " Magis curiosam." It is suggested in Schmie-
der's Notes to Plautus, that Euclio intends to call the lamb "inquisitive" or
"curious," "curiosam," because he had found it, when he entered his house.
to drive out Congrio and his scullions, scraping and smelling about in every
direction, as in a strange place it was natural for it to do, but which the old man
thought to be done in quest of his treasure. On this, Megadorus, who has not
heard, or else has misunderstood, the last syllable for "nem," instead of "sam,"
asks him what sort of a lamb a "curio" (the nominative of "curionem") lamb is;
on which Euclio catches him up, and says he calls a "curio" lamb such a one as
he has sent him, all skin and bone, and lean with "
cura,"
""care." "Curionem"
is by many preferred as the reading in the 517th line to "curiosam," and perhaps
it is the Best. Be it as it may, the wit seems far-fetched; and not improbably
the word "curio" may have had some meaning which is now lost, other than its
usual signification of the master or head of a "curia," or
ward."
A Punic lantern)-Ver. 521. The horn exported from Carthage, for the pur-
pose of making lanterns, was more pellucid than any other.
3 Should bargain for)—Ver. 523. "Loces." "Should hire" the "conductores,
or "libitinarii," who contracted to perform funerals. He seems to hint that the
lamb is so meagre that it is not worth eating. If that is not his meaning, the wit
intended to be conveyed by the passage is imperceptible.
'
4 Change the settlement)—Ver. 531. "Commutet coloniam." Literally may
change its colony."
Sc. X.
405
OR, THE CONCEALED TREASURE.
that, for I'll hide it somewhere out of doors. I'll make
him lose his wine and his trouble together.
MEG. Unless you want me for anything, I'm going to
bathe, that I may sacrifice. (He goes into his house.)
Euc. By my faith, you pot (taking it from under his
cloak), you surely have many enemies, and that gold as well
which is entrusted to you! Now this is the best thing to be
done by me, to take you away, my pot, to the Temple of Faith¹,
where I'll hide you carefully. Faith, thou dost know me, and
I thee; please, do have a care not to change thy name against
me, if I entrust this to thee. Faith, I'll come to thee, relying
on thy fidelity. (He goes into the Temple of Faith.)
ACT IV. SCENE I.
Enter STROBILUS².
STRO. This is the duty of a good servant, to do what I'm
intending, not to consider the commands of his master a
bore or trouble to him. For that servant who resolves to
serve his master with hearty goodwill, him it behoves to
act expeditiously for his master, slowly for himself; but if he
sleeps, let him so sleep as to bethink himself that he is a
servant. But he who lives in servitude to one in love, as I
am serving, if he sees love overcoming his master, this I
think to be the duty of the servant; to restrain him for his
safety, not to impel him onwards towards his own inclina-
¹ Temple of Faith)—Ver. 538. "Fides," "Faith," was a Goddess worshipped
by the Romans. Probably, in the present instance, her Temple was represented
at one side of the stage, and the door just beyond the side-scene.
(L
2 Strobilus) It is a curious fact that all of the editions make this to be a dif-
ferent person from the Strobilus, the servant of Megadorus, whom we have already
en hiring Congrio, Anthrax, and the "tibicinæ." In the "dramatis persona"
ey style this one, Strobilus, "the servant of Lyconides," and the other Strobilus,
.n some instances, as "the servant of Megadorus," and in others (evidently by mis-
take) as the servant of Euclio." On examination we shall find there is no ground
for this. Eunomia (most probably a widow) is living, together with her son Lyco-
nides, in the house of her brother Megadorus. This is clear from what Lyconides
says in 1. 684, where, speaking of the house of his uncle, he calls it "ædes nostras,
“our house," which he would not have said had he not been residing there. By
the indulgence of his uncle, who has no children, we may presume that Strobilus
has been permitted to consider him as "his young master." After hiring the cooks,
he has communicated the bad news to Lyconides, who tells him to keep a good
look-out, and inform him of any chance that may possibly happen for breaking of
the marriage.
406
Act IV.
AULULARIA;
tion. Just as a float of bulrushes is placed beneath boys
who are learning to swim, by means of which they may
labour less, so as to swim more easily and move their
hands; in the same way do I consider that it is proper for
the servant to be a buoy to his master thus in love, so as to
bear him up lest he should go to the bottom; and so
*
*
*
*
should he learn the will of
his master, that his eyes should know what his mouth
chooses not to speak. What he orders, he should hasten to
perform more swiftly than the swift steeds. He who shall
have a care for these things, will escape the castigation of the
ox's hide, nor by his own means will he ever bring the fetters
to brightness. Now, my master's in love with the daugh-
ter of this poor man, Euclio; word has just now been brought
to my master that she is given to Megadorus here: he has
sent me here to spy out, that he may be made acquainted
with the things that are going on. Now, without any sus-
picion, I'll sit here by the sacred altar¹. From this spot I
shall be able, in this direction and that, to witness what
they are about. (He sits by the altar, and on seeing EUCLIO,
hides behind it.)
SCENE II.-Enter EUCLIO, from the Temple.
Euc. O Goddess Faith, do thou but take care not to dis-
cover to any person that my gold is there. I have no fear
that any one will find it, so well is it concealed in its hiding-
place. By my troth, he will surely have a charming booty
there, if any one shall meet with that pot loaded with gold.
But I entreat thee, Faith, to hinder that. Now I shall go
wash me, that I may perform the sacrifice; so that I may not
delay my new connexion by marriage, but that, when he sends
to me, he may forthwith take my daughter home. Over
and over again now, Goddess Faith, do thou take care that I
shall carry away the pot safe from thy Temple. To thy
fidelity have I entrusted the gold; in thy grove and Temple
is it placed. (Goes into his house.)
¹ By the sacred altar)—Ver. 560. The Athenians often raised altars to Apollo
or Bacchus at their doors. The Romans also had altars in their public streets.
On the stage of Comedy there was generally an altar crected in honor of Apollo,
προστατηριὸς, “ that presides.”
2 To thy fidelity)-Ver. 569 "Tuæ fidei." He plays upon the word "fides,"
and flatters himself that his treasure cannot be more secure than when entrusted
to the faith of Fail..."
LA
Sc. III.
407
OR, THE CONCEALED TREASURE.
STRO. (coming from behind the altar). Immortal Gods, what
a deed did I hear this person speaking of, how that he
had hidden here, in the Temple of Faith, a pot filled with
gold; prithee, beware you, how you are more faithful to him
than to myself! And he, as I fancy, is the father of her whom
my master's in love with. I'll go hence into it; I'll tho-
roughly ransack the Temple, to see if I can anywhere find the
gold, while he's engaged. But if I do find it, O Goddess Faith,
I'll offer to thee a gallon jug¹ full of honeyed wine, that I'll
surely offer to thee; but I'll drink it up myself, when I have
offered it. (Retreats behind the altar.)
SCENE III. Enter EUCLIO, from his house.
Evo. (to himself). It wasn't for nothing that the raven was
just now croaking on my left hand; he was both scratching
the ground with his feet and croaking with his voice. At once
my heart began to jump about³, and to leap within my
breast. But why do I delay to run? (He discovers STRO-
BILUS, and drags him from behind the altar.) Out, out, you
earthworm, who have this instant crept out of the earth
who just now were nowhere seen, and now that you are seen
shall die for it. By my faith, you juggler, I'll receive you now
after a disagreable fashion. (Begins to shake and beat him.)
STRO. What the curst plague does ail you? What busi-
ness have you with me, old fellow? Why do you torment
me? Why are you dragging me? For what reason are you
beating me?
¹ A gallon jug)—Ver. 576. "Congialem." Literally, "holding a congius.'
This contained about nine pints of English measure. By the use of the word
"fidelia," "a jug," he plays on its resemblance to the name of "Fides."
2 On my left hand)-Ver. 578. We cannot fail to remember here the exactly
similar expression of Gay, in the fable of the Farmer's Wife and the Raven:
That raven on yon left-hand oak
(Curse on his ill-betiding croak !)
Bodes me no good.
;
3 Began to jump about)—Ver. 580. "Ars ludicra" here means "the art of a
'ludius,' or stage-player," who moves to and fro and gesticulates-hence “ cor
cœpit artem facere ludicram" would strictly mean "my heart begins to move
to and fro like a play-actor."
• Earthworm)—Ver. 582. He thinks, that in the short space of time during
which he has been absent in the Temple, he can only have sprung out of the earth,
as he had not seen him a few minutes before; and taking him to be a sort of
præstigiator," or "juggler," he fancies that he has followed him into cle
Iemple, and purloined the treasure,
เ
408
Act IV
AULULARIA
EUC. You out-and-out whipping-post, do you even ask
that, you, not thief, but thrice-dotted thief.
STRO. What have I stolen from you?
Euc. Give me that back here, if you please.
STRO. What do you want me to give you back?
Euc. Do you ask me that? STRO. As for me, I've taken
nothing away from you.
Euc. But give up that which you have taken away for
yourself. Are you going to do so?
STRO. Do what? Euc. You can't carry it off.
STRO. What do you want? Euc. Lay it down.
STRO. Troth, for my part, I think that you are in the
habit¹ of quizzing, old gentleman.
Euc. Put that down, please; cease your quibbling; I'm
not trifling now.
STRO. What am I to put down? Why don't you men-
tion it, whatever it is, by its own name? By my faith, I
really have neither taken nor touched anything.
Euc. Show me your hands, here. STRO. Well, I do show
them; see, here they are. (Holding out his hands.)
Euc. I see them. Come, show me the third², as well.
STRO. (aside). Sprites, and frenzy, and madness, possess
this old fellow. Are you doing me an injustice, or not?
Euc. A very great one, I confess, inasmuch as you are
¹ In the habit)—Ver. 591. The real meaning of the author in this line is so
indelicate, that it requires another turn to be given to the passage.
2 Show me the third)-Ver. 595. This passage has been considered as extrava-
gant; but it really does not appear inconsistent with the ridiculous conduct of
the wretched Euclio throughout. Thornton supposes that the following passage
in the old play of Albumazar, Act III., Sc. 8 (where Trinculo questions Ronca
about the purse, which the latter has stolen from him), is an imitation of this
passage:
Trin. Show me your hand.
Ron. Here 'tis.
Ron. Why, here.
Trin. But where's the other?
Trin. But I mean, where's your other hand?
Ron. Think you me the giant with an hundred hands?
Trin. Give me your right.
Ron. My right?
Trin. Your left.
Ron. My left?
Trin. Now both.
Ron. There's both, my dear Antonio
Sc. III,
409
OR, THE CONCEALED TREASURE.
not strung up; and that too shall be done this moment, un
less you do confess.
STRO. What am I to confess to you? Euc. What it was
you took away hence.
STRO. May the Gods confound me, if I've taken away
anything of yours, (aside) and if I don't wish I had taken
it away.
Euc. Come then, shake out your cloak.
STRO. At your pleasure. (Shakes it.)
Euc. You haven't it among your under-clothing?
STRO. Search where you please. Euc. Pshaw! how civilly
the rascal speaks, that I mayn't suppose he has taken it
away! I know your tricks. Come, show me here again that
right hand.
STRO. Here it is. (Extending it.) Euc. Now show me
your left.
STRO. Well, then, I show you both, in fact. (Extending
them.)
Euo. Now I leave off searching. Give back that here.
STRO. Give back what? Euc. Are you trifling with me?
You certainly have got it.
STRO. I, got it? Got what? Euc. I shan't say; you
want to hear. Whatever you have of mine, give it back.
STRO. You are mad; you've searched me all over at your
own pleasure, and yet you've found nothing of yours in my
possession.
Euc. (starting). Stop, stop; who was that? Who was
the other that was within here, together with yourself?
Troth, I'm undone; he's now rummaging about within. If
I let this one go, he'll escape. At last, I've now searched
this one all over; he has got nothing. Be off where you
please; Jupiter and the Gods confound you!
STRO. He returns his thanks not amiss2.
Euc. I'll go in here now, and I'll at once throttle this
accomplice of yours. Will you not fly hence from my sight?
Will you away from here, or no?
¹ Who was the other)—Ver. 609. This suspicion in Euclio is very natural;
and he asks the question very artfully, for the purpose of catching a confession
from him by inadvertence.
2 Thanks not amiss)—Ver. 612. He says this sarcastically. If he gets such
thanks when he has not stolen the treasure, what would he have got supposing
that he had ?
410
Act IV
AULULARIA
STRO. I'm off. Euc. Take you care, please, how I see you
(He goes into the Temple.)
SCENE IV. STROBILTE, alone.
STRO. I would rather that I were dead outright, by a
shocking death, than not lay an ambush this day for that old
fellow. But he'll not venture now to hide his gold here;
he'll now be carrying it with him, I guess, and be changing the
spot. But hark! there's a noise at the door. (Looking in
the direction of the Temple.) See, the old fellow's bringing
out the gold with him! Meanwhile, I'll step aside here to
the door. (Conceals himself near the door.)
SCENE V.-Enter EUCLIO, from the Temple, with the pot of
money.
Evc. (to himself). I had thought that there was the very
greatest dependence upon Faith; very nearly had she played
me a pretty trick¹. If the raven hadn't come to my assist-
ance, to my sorrow I should have been undone. Troth, I very
much wish that raven would come to me which gave me
the warning, that I might say something kind to him; for I
would as soon give him something to eat as lose it. Now
I'm thinking of a lonely spot where I shall hide this. The
grove of Sylvanus, outside of the wall, is unfrequented, and
planted with many a willow; there will I choose a spot. I'm
determined to trust Sylvanus³, rather than Faith. ~ (Exit.
STRO. (re-appearing from his hiding-place). Capital! capi-
tal! the Gods will me to be safe and preserved! Now
will I run before to that place, and climb up into some tree,
and thence will I watch where the old fellow hides the gold.
Although my master bade me remain here, I'm resolved
rather to risk a mishap along with emolument. (Exit.
¹ Played me a pretty trick)—Ver. 623. “Sublevit os." "Sublinere os" means
to paint the face secretly," in allusion to the practical joke of so dong when a
person is asleep, and thereby making a fool of him.
2 Would as soon give)--Ver, 626. That is, "not at all." He says "thank
you" to the raven, but he would be as likely to give it a scrap of victuals as to
throw it away, which was quite repugnant to his "jus et norma vivendi," his mode
of life.
3 Sylvanus)-Ver. 630. Sylvanus was the tutelary Divinity of the woodlande
fields, and cattle. Pigs were usually offered in sacrifice to him.
Sc. VI.
411
OR, THE CONCEALED TREASURE.
SCENE VI.—Enter LYCONIDES and EUNOMIA, from the
house of MEGADORUS.
Lyc. I've told you all, mother; as well as I do myself,
you understand all about the daughter of Euclio. Now, I
do entreat you, my mother, make mention of it to my uncle,
and I now unask of you, mother, that which before I en-
treated of you, to conceal this from Megadorus.
EUN. You know, yourself, that what you desire to be done,
I desire, and I trust that I shall obtain this of my brother;
and the reason is good, if 'tis so as you say, that in a drunken
fit you debauched this damsel.
Lrc. Could I, my mother, tell a falsehood in your presence?
(PHEDRA cries out in labour, in EUCLIO's house.) I die,
my nurse; my pangs are coming on! I entreat thee for thy
protection, Juno Lucina¹!
Lyo. Ah! my mother, I see a more convincing proof for
you; she's crying aloud-she's in the pangs of labour.
EUN. Come in-doors here, with me, my son, to my brother,
that I may obtain a grant from him of that which you beg
of me.
Lyc. Go; I'll follow you this instant, mother. (EUNOMIA
goes into the house.) But my servant, Strobilus, I wonder
where he is, whom I ordered to wait here for me. Now I
reflect with myself, if he's lending me his assistance, it isn't
fair that I should be angry with him. I'll go in-doors, where
they are sitting in judgment upon my life. (Goes into the
house of MEGADORUS.)
ACT V.-SCENE I.
Enter STROBILUS, with the pot of money.
STRO. I, by myself, exceed the riches of the Griffins³, who
¹ Juno Lucina)—Ver. 646. Juno Lucina was the Goddess who presided over
childbirth. Some suppose that the Goddess Diana was called by that name; but
(although Diana was also addressed by parturient females) it is more likely that
Juno was addressed under the title. A similar circumstance to this takes place
in the Andria and the Adelphi of Terence.
2 They are sitting in judgment)—Ver. 654. “Ubi de capite meo sunt Comitia."
Literally, "where, then, are the Comitia about my life." Trials were held before
the "Comitia centuriata," or assemblies of the people, at Rome, to which reference
Is here made. He alludes to the discussion between Eunomia and Megadorus, on
the marriage of the latter with Phædra.
3 Riches of the Griffins)—Ver. 655. Pici. “Picis” would be a better reading here,
and ought to be adopted, unless we agree with some of the Commentators, who
412
Act V
AULULARIA ·
•
inhabit the golden mountains. For I'm unwilling to make
mention of those other kings, beggarly fellows-I am the
king Philip. O charming day! for when I went from here,
just now, I arrived there much the first, and, long before, I
placed myself in a tree, and thence observed where the old
fellow hid the gold. When he departed thence, I let myself
down from the tree, and dug up the pot full of gold. Thence,
from that spot, I saw the old fellow betaking himself back
again; he didn't see me, for I turned a little on one side, out
of the path. Heyday! here he comes himself. I'll go and
hide this away, at home. (Goes into the house of MEGADORUS.)
SCENE II.-Enter EUCLIO, tearing his hair and wringing his
hands.
Euc. I'm ruined! I'm done for! I'm murdered! Whither
shall I run? Whither not run? Stop him-stop him. Whom?
who? I don't know. I see nothing! I'm going blindfold;
and, in fact, whither I am going, or where I am, or who I am,
I can't in my mind find out for certain. (To the AUDIENCE.)
I beseech you, give me your aid (I beg and entreat of you), and
point me out the person that has taken it away. What's the
matter? Why do you laugh? I'm acquainted with you all;
I know that there are many thieves here, who conceal them-
selves with white clothes and chalk¹, and sit as though they
were honest! (To one of the SPECTATORS.) What say you?
You I'm resolved to believe; for I perceive, even by your
looks, that you are honest. Well then, none of these has got
it? You've been the death of me! Tell me, then, who has got
it? You don't know? Oh, wretched, wretched me! I'm done
for! wofully undone! In most sorry plight Igo; so much groan-
ing, and misfortune, and sorrow, has this day brought upon me,
think that Strobilus begins a sentence, and then, in the exuberance of his joy,
breaks out into an expression of a different construction from that originally in-
tended. It may, however, possibly be, as Hildyard suggests, the "nominativus
pendens," which is not unfrequently used by Plautus. The Pici here alluded to
were Griffins, or fabulous monsters, who were said to watch the treasures of the
Arimaspi, a people of the north of Scythia, mentioned by Herodotus, who were
said to possess mountains of gold; in which story, no doubt, the Uralian moun-
tians were alluded to.
¹ White clothes and chalk)--Ver. 673. The Romans were much in the habit of
having their woollen "toga" made extremely white by chalk, pipeclay, and tha
fuller's art. He alludes to white garments covering bad manners, much as in
Scripture whited sepulchres are inentioned as being full of uncleanness.
Sc. III.
413
OR, THE CONCEALED TREASURE.
hunger and poverty, too. I'm the most utterly ruined of al
men upon the earth! For what need of life have I, who have
lost so much gold that I so carefully watched? I pinched
myself, and my inclinations, and my very heart! Now others
are rejoicing at this, my loss and my misfortune! I cannot
endure it. (He runs about, crying and stamping.)
SCENE III. Enter LYCONIDES, from the house of MEGAdorus.
LYC. What person, I wonder, is this before our house
lamenting, and that utters complaints with his moaning?
Why,surely, this is Euclio, as I imagine. I'm utterly undone!
The thing's all out; he knows now, as I suppose, that his
daughter is brought to bed. I'm in a state of uncertainty
now what I shall do, whether go or remain, accost him or fly.
Euc. What person is it that speaks there?
LYC. 'Tis I, wretch that I am.
Euc. Yes, and so am I, and wretchedly ruined, whose lot.
is misfortune so great and sorrow.
Lyc. Be of good courage. Euc. How, prithee, can I be so?
LYC. Because that deed which is afflicting your mind, I
did it, and I confess it.
Euc. What is it I hear from you?
LYC. That which is the truth. Euc. What evil, young
man, have I deserved, by reason of which you should do thus,
and go to ruin both me and my children?
LYC. A Divinity was my prompter; he prompted me to
do it2.
Euc. How? Lyc. I confess that I have done wrong, and
I know that I deserve censure; for that reason I'm come to
beseech you, that, with feelings assuaged, you will pardon me.
EUC. Why did you dare do so, to touch that which was not
your own?
Literally, "and my
¹ And my very heart)—Ver. 682. "Geniuinque meum."
Genius," i. e." my social disposition" or "capacity for enjoyment."
2 Prompted me to do it)-Ver. 694. " Ad illam illexit." Literally, "enticed me
to her." The humour of the whole scene turns upon Euclio and Lyconides
mistaking the meaning of each other-the former thinking that the latter is
speaking about the "aula," or "pot," while the latter fancies that Euclio is
'amenting the mishap of his daughter. In the Latin language, the word “aula”
is of the feminine gender, by reason of which the misunderstanding is much more
natural than it would be in the English language. In consequence, some little
Latitude in the translation is abeo utely necessary to sustain the equivoque of the
original
114
Act V.
AULULARIA;
LY. What do ou wish to be done? The thing has been
done; it can't be undone. I believe that the Gods willed
it, for if they ha ln't willed it, I know it wouldn't have
happened.
Euc. But I believe that the Gods have willed that I should
be the death of you in fetters.
LYC. Don't say that!
EUC. What business then have
you to touch what is my own against my will?
LYC. Because I did it under the evil influence of wine and
love.
Euc. Most audacious man, that you should dare to come
here to me with that speech, you impudent fellow! For if
this is lawful, so that you may be able to excuse it—let us
openly, in broad daylight, plunder their golden trinkets from
ladies after that, if we are caught, let us excuse ourselves,
that we did it when intoxicated, by reason of being in love.
Too cheap are wine and love, if one in liquor and in love is
allowed to do with impunity whatever he pleases.
Lyc. But I come to you of my own accord to supplicate
you on account of my folly.
Euc. Persons don't please me, who, when they've done
wrong, excuse themselves. You knew that you had no
right there; you oughtn't to have touched¹.
Lyc. Therefore, inasmuch as I did dare to touch, I make
no objection to keep by all means.
Euc. You, keep what is my own against my will ?
LYC. Against your will, I do not ask; but I think that
that which was yours ought to be mine². Moreover, Euclio,
you'll find, I say, that mine it ought to be.
Euc. Now really, on my word, I'll drag you to the
Prætor and take proceedings against you, unless you make
restitution.
1 You oughtn't to have touched)-Ver. 711. "Tu illam scibas non tuam esse:
non attactam aportuit." This literally, speaking of the pot (aula) as of the
feminine gender, would mean " you knew that she was not your own; it was not
fitting for her to be touched." This of course helps to confirm Lyconides in the
impression that Euclio is speaking of his daugh er.
2 Ought to be mine)-Ver. 714. Lyconides here alludes to a law which pre-
vailed at Rome, whereby, when a person had seduced a freeborn female, he was
obliged either to marry her himself without a portion, or else to give her such a
portion as was suitable to her station. Lyconides means to say that he shall
exercise the former right.
* Anıl take proceedings-Ver. 716. "Scribam dicam."
"Dica" was a name
Sc. III.
415
OR, THE CONCEALED TREASURE.
Lyc. Make restitution of what to you?
EUC. What you've stolen of mine.
Lyc. I, stolen of yours? Whence, or what is it?
Euc. So shall Jupiter love you, how ignorant you are
about it!
for.
Lvc. Unless, indeed, you tell me what you are enquiring
Euc. The pot of gold, I say, I'm asking back of you, which
you confessed to me that you had taken away.
Lrc. By my faith, I've neither said so, nor have I done it.
Euc. Do you deny it? Lyc. Yes, I do utterly deny it;
for neither the gold nor yet this pot, what it means, do I
know or understand.
Euc. Give me up that pot which you took away from the
wood of Sylvanus. Come, give it me back! I would
rather give you the one-half of it. Although you are a thief
to me, I'll not be hard upon the thief. Give it me
back.
LYC. You are not in your senses, to call me a thief; I
thought, Euclio, that you had come to the knowledge of
another matter; as concerns myself, it is a great matter
which I wish to speak with you upon at your leisure, if you
are at leisure.
Euc. Tell me, in good faith, have you not stolen that
gold?
LYC. In good faith, No. Euc. Nor know who has taken
it away?
Lyc. In good faith, No, to that as well.
Euc. But if you should know who has taken it away, will
you discover it to me
me?
Lyc. I will do so. Euc. Nor accept of a share from him,
whoever he is, for yourself, nor harbour the thief?
LYC. Even so. Euc. What if you deceive me?
Lyc. Then may great Jupiter do unto me what he
pleases.
Euo. I'm satisfied. Come, then, say what you wish.
Lyo. If you know me but imperfectly, of what family I'm
born: Megadorus here is my uncle; Antimachus was my
father; my name is Lyconides; Eunomia is my mother.
derived from the Greek, for an
an action was
indictment," "writ," or "process," by which
416
Act V
AULULARIA ;
Euc. I know the family; now, what do you want?
LYC. I want to know this. You have a daughter of
yours?
Euc. Why, yes, she's there at home.
LYC. You have, I think, recently betrothed her to my
uncle ?
Euc. You have the whole matter. LYC. He has now bade
me announce to you his refusal of her¹.
Euc. A refusal, when the things are got ready, and the
wedding's prepared? May all the immortal Gods and God-
desses confound him, so far as is possible, by reason of whom
this day, unhappy wretch that I am, I have lost so much gold!
Lyc. Be of good heart, and speak in kindly terms; now,
a thing-may it turn out well and prosperously to you and
your daughter.-May the Gods so grant-say.
EUC. May the Gods so grant.
Lyc. And for me, too,
may the Gods so grant it. Now, then, do you listen. The
man that admits a fault is not so much to be despised, if
he feels a sense of shame when he excuses himself. Now,
Euclio, I do beseech you, that what unawares I have done
wrong towards yourself or your daughter, you will grant me
pardon for the same, and give her for a wife to me, as the
laws demand. I confess that I did violence to your daughter
on the festival of Ceres, by reason of wine and the impulse
of youth.
Euc. Woe is me! What shocking deed do I hear of you?
LYC. Why do you exclaim? You whom I've made to be
a grandfather now at the very wedding of your daughter.
For your daughter has just been brought to bed in the ninth
month after-calculate the number2; for that reason, in my
behalf, has my uncle sent his refusal. Go in-doors; enquire
whether it is so or not as I say.
Euc. I'm undone utterly; so very many misfortunes unite
themselves for my undoing. I'll go in-doors, that I may
know what of this is true. (He goes into his house.)
Ilis refusal of her)-Ver. 740. "Repudium." The rejection of a person
after being betrothed was called "repudium;" while the putting-away of a mar-
ried woman by her husband was called "divortium."
2 Calculate the number)-Ver. 755.
"Numeram cape." He probably means
by this, "calculate the time" since the festival of Ceres, when this misfortune
happened.
Sc. IV.
417
OR, THE CONCEALED TREASURE.
Lrc. I'll follow you this instant. This matter seems now
to be pretty nearly in the baven of safety. Now, where to say
my servant Strobilus is, I don't know, but yet I'll wait
here still a little while; after that I'll follow this man in-
doors; now, in the meantime, I'll give him leisure to enquire
of the nurse about my doings, the attendant of his daugh-
ter, whether she knows the truth. (Moves as if going.)
SCENE IV. Enter STROBILUS, at a distance.
STRO. (to himself). Immortal Gods, with what and how
great delights do you present me! I've got a four pound pot
filled with gold; who there is richer than I? What man is
there greater than I at Athens now; any one, I mean, to
whom the Gods are propitious?
Lyc. (to himself). Why, surely, I seemed just now to
hear the voice of some one speaking here.
STRO. (to himself). Ha! do I not see my master?
Lyc. (to himself). Do I see Strobilus now, my servant?
STRO. (to himself). 'Tis he himself. LYC. (to himself).
'Tis no other.
STRO. (to himself). I'll accost him. LYC. (to himself).
I'll step out¹ towards him. I do think that he has been, as
I requested him, to the old woman, the nurse herself of this
damsel.
STRO. (to himself). Why don't I tell him that I've found
this prize, and speak out? For that reason, I'll beg of him
to make me free. I'll go and speak to him. (Addressing
him.) I've found——
LYC. What have you found? STRO. Not that which the
boys cry out that they've found in the bean?.
Lyc. And are you trifling with me then, as you are in the
habit of doing? (He turns as if to go away.)
STRO. Master, stop; I'll speak out then; do listen.
¹ I'll step out)—Ver. 770. It must be supposed that Strobilus is a good
way down a street, which emerges on the stage right opposite the Spectators;
while Lyconides is in the front of the stage, and consequently beyond the nearer
end of the street.
2 Found in the bean)-Ver. 775. This is explained as meaning a little worn
or weevil, which boys used to seek for in beans and other pulse, and which they
´alled "Midas."
!
2 F
118
Act V.
AULULARIA;
Lyc. Come then, tell me. STRO. I've found to-day, master
very great riches.
LYC. Where, pray? STRO. A four pound pot¹, I say, full
of gold!
Lro. What crime is this that I hear of from you?
STRO. I've stolen it from this old fellow, Euclio.
Lrc. Where is this gold? STRO. In my box at home;
I now wish to be made free.
Líc. I, make you free, you fellow, brimful of wickedness ?
STRO. Out upon you, master, I know what you would be
at. Troth, I've cleverly tried your inclination; you were
just getting ready to take it away from me; what would you
do, if I had found it?
Lyc. You can't make good your pretences. Come, give
up the gold!
STRO. I, give up the gold? Lyc. Give it up, I say, that
it may be given back to him.
STRO. Where am I to get it from? Lvc. That which you
confessed just now to be in your box.
STRO. I'faith, I'm in the habit of talking nonsense; 'twas
in that way I was speaking.
LYC. (seizing him). But do you know what?—
STRO. Even kill me outright, i' faith, you never shall get
it hence of me
**
**
**
*2
A SUPPLEMENT TO THE AULULARIA BY CODRUS URCEUS.
STRO.
not got.
the pot belonging to the old fellow, which I've
Lrc. I will have it, whether you will or no; when I've
tied you up all fours, and torn asunder your body for you
tied up to the beam. But why do I delay to rush upon the
jaws of this rascal, and why this instant do I not compel his
¹ A four pound pot)-Ver. 777. "Quadrilibris" probably alludes to the capacity
of the pot, and not its weight. It was probably a jar made to contain four pounds
weight of liquid.
2***The rest of this Play is unfortunately lost. From the Acrostic Argument
which is prefixed to the Play, we learn that Lyconides obtained the gold, and gave
it up to Euclio, who presented it to him as a marriage-portion with his daughter.
In some of the Editions there is a Supplement to the last Scene, written in a very
meagre style by some unknown author, which is not worth presenting to the
reader The Supplementby Antonius Codrus Urceus, a learned scholar and pro-
fessor at Bologna, is certainly somewhat superior, and, such as it is, a translation
Sc. V.
419
OR, THE CONCEALED TREASURE.
soul to take its journey before its time¹? Are you going
to give it me or not?
STRO. I will give it you. Lrc. I want you to give it mo
now, and not at a future time.
STRO. I'll give it now; but I entreat you to allow me to
recover breath. (LYCONIDES lets him go.) Aha! What is
it you want me to give you, master ?
Lyc. Don't you know, you rascal? And do you dare to re-
fuse me the four pound pot full of gold which you just now
said you had stolen? (Calling at the door.) Hallo there!
Where now are the flogging men ?
STRO. Master, do hear a few words. Lrc. I won't hear;
floggers, hallo there-hallo!
SCENE V.-Enter two FLOGGING SLAVES.
SLAVE. What's the matter?
be got ready.
LYC. I want the chains to
STRO. Listen to me, I beg of you; afterwards order them
to bind me as much as you please.
Lrc. I will hear you; but hasten the matter very quickly.
STRO. If you order me to be tortured to death, see what
you obtain; in the first place, you have the death of your slave.
Then, what you wish for you cannot get. But if you had
only allured me by the reward of dear liberty, you would
already have obtained your wish. Nature produces all men
free, and by nature all desire freedom. Slavery is worse than
every evil, than every calamity; and he whom Jupiter hates,
him he first makes a slave.
Lrc. You speak not unwisely. STRO. Now then hear the
rest. Our age has produced masters too grasping, whom
I'm in the habit of calling Harpagos, Harpies, and Tantali,
poor amid great wealth, and thirsty in the midst of the waters
of Ocean; no riches are enough for them, not those of Midas,
not of Croesus; not all the wealth of the Persians can satisfy
of it is here presented to the reader. Its chief fault is, that it indicates a greater
change in the nature of the miser than is consistent with probability. Though
Plautus doubtless depicted him as giving up the gold to his new son-in-law, it
was probably on some other ground than a change of disposition.
¹ Before its time)-The expression used here by Urceus is capable of two
modes of translation; the most delicate one has been preferred.
232
420
Act V.
AULULARIA;
their Tartarean maw.
and slaves now obey their masters but tardily; so on neither
side is that done which would be fair to be done. Their
provisions, kitchens, and store-cellars, avaricious old fellows
shut up with a thousand keys. Slaves, thievish, double-
dealers, and artful, open for themselves things shut up
with a thousand keys, which the owners hardly like to be
granted to their lawful children, and stealthily do they carry
off, consume, and lick them up-fellows that will never dis-
close their hundred thefts even at the gibbet; thus in laughter
and joking do bad slaves take revenge upon their slavery. So
then, I come to the conclusion that liberality renders slaves
faithful.
Masters use their slaves rigorously,
Lyc. Rightly, indeed, have you spoken, but not in a few
words, as you promised me. But if I do make you free, will
you give me back what I'm asking for?
STRO. I will give it back; but I wish for witnesses to be
present; you'll pardon me, master, I trust you but little.
LYC. Just as you please; let there be present even a hun-
dred; then I shouldn't care about it.
STRO. (going to the door of the house of MEGADORUS).
Megadorus, and you, Eunomia, please come here, I beg of
you; the business finished, you shall return directly.
SCENE VI.-Enter MEGADORUS and EUNOMIA.
MEG. Who's calling us? Ha! Lyconides! EUN. Ha!
Strobilus, what is the matter? Say.
LYC. 'Tis a short matter. MEG. What is it?
STRO. I'm calling you as witnesses. If I bring here a
four pound pot full of gold and give it up to Lyconides, Lyco-
nides makes me a free man, and orders me to be my own
master. (To LYCONIDES.) Do you not promise me so?
LYC. I do promise so. STRO. Have you heard now what
he has said?
MEG. We have heard. STRO. Swear, then, by Jupiter.
LYC. Alas! to what I am reduced by the misfortunes of
others! You are too insulting; still, I'll do what he bids
me.
STRO. Hark you, our generation hasn't much confidence
in people: the documents are signed; the twelve witnesses
Sc. VIII.
421
OR, THE CONCEALED TREASURE.
are present; the registrar writes down the time and the
place; and still, the pleader is found to deny that it has been
done.
Lyc. But release me speedily, please.
STRO. Here, take this stone. (Giving him a stone.)
Lyc. If I knowingly deceive you, so may Jupiter reject
from me his blessings, the city and citadel safe, as I do this
stone. (He throws it.) Have I now satisfied you?
STRO. I am satisfied; and I'm going to bring the gold.
Lyc. Go with the speed of Pegasus, and return devouring
the road with your rapid steps. (Exit STROBILUS.) Any
impertinent slave, that wishes to be more wise than his master,
is a nuisance to a decent man. Let this Strobilus be off as a
free man to utter perdition, if he only brings me the pot full
of pure gold, so that I may restore Euclio, my father-in-law,
from his grief to joy, and obtain the favour of his daughter,
who is just brought to bed by reason of my debauching her.
But see! Strobilus is returning, loaded; as I guess, he's
bringing the pot; and, for sure, it is the pot that he's car-
rying.
SCENE VII. Enter STROBILUS, carrying the pot of gold.
STRO. Lyconides, I bring you my findings that I pro-
mised the four pound pot of gold; have I been long?
Lyc. Why, yes. (He takes some of the gold out of the pot.)
O immortal Gods, what do I behold? Or what is it I hold ?
More than six hundred Philippean pieces, three or four times
over. But let's call out Euclio forthwith.
SCENE VIII.
Lyc. (going to the door of EUCLIO's house). Ho, Eucho,
Euclio!
MEG. Euclio, Euclio! Euc. (opening his window). What'
the matter?
Lro. Come down to us, for the Gods will you to be
saved; we've got the pot.
Euc. Have you got it, or are you trifling with me?
Lxc. We've got it, I say. Now, if you can, fly down
hither.
Evo. (having come out of the house to them). O great Ju
piter! O household Divinity and Queen Juno! and Alcides,
422
Act V
AULULARIA.
my treasurer! that at length you do show pity upon a
wretched old man. (Taking the pot in his arms.) O my pot!
O how aged I, your friend, do clasp you with joyful arms,
and receive you with kisses; with a thousand embraces even
I cannot be satisfied. O my hope! my heart! that dissi-
pates my grief.
LYC. (aside, to MEGADORUS). I always thought that to be
in want of gold was the worst thing for both boys and men, and
all old people. Indigence compels boys to be guilty of mis-
deeds, men to thieve, and old men themselves to become beg-
gars. But 'tis much worse, as I now see, to abound in gold
beyond what's necessary for us. Alas! what miseries has
Euclio endured on account of the pot, that a little while
since was lost by him!
Euc. To whom shall I give deserved thanks? Whether to
the Gods, who show regard for good men, or to my friends,
upright men, or to them both? Rather to both, I think,
and first to you, Lyconides, the origin and author of so great
a good; you do I present with this pot of gold; accept it
with pleasure. I wish it to be your own, and my daughter
as well, in the presence of Megadorus, and his good sister,
Eunomia.
LYC. (receiving the pot of gold). The favour is received, and
is returned, in thanks, as you deserve, Eucho, a father-in-law
most acceptable to me.
Euo. I shall think the favour sufficiently returned to me,
if you now receive with pleasure my gift, and myself as well
for your father-in-law.
LYC. I do receive it; and I wish my house to be that of
Euclio.
STBO. What still remains, master,-remember now that
I'm to be free.
Lro. You've well put me in mind. Be you a free man,
O Strobilus, for your deserts; and now prepare in-doors
the dinner that has been so disturbed.
STRO. (coming forward). Spectators, the avaricious Euclio
has changed his nature; he has suddenly become liberal; so,
too, do you practise liberality; and if the play has pleased
you well, loudly clap your hands.
CAPTIVI; THE CAPTIVES.
Dramatis Personæ.
HEGIO, an Ætolian, father of Philopolemus.
PHILOCRATES, an Elean, captive in Ætolia.
TYNDARUS, his servant.
ARISTOPHONTES, an Elean, captive in Etolia.
PHILOPOLEMUs, an Etolian, captive in Elis.
ERGASILUS, a Parasite.
STALAGMUS, the servant of Hegio.
A SLAVE of Hegio.
A LAD, the same.
Bzx-A place in Ætolia, before the house al 15227.
THE SUBJECT.
pur-
HEGIO, a wealthy native of Ætolia, had two sons, one of which was stolen by a slave
when four years old, and being carried away to Elis, was sold there; the father
being unable for many years to learn what has become of him. A war having
commenced between the Eleans and the Etolians, l'hilopolemus, the other son
of Hegio, is taken prisoner by the Eleans. The Etolians having taken many
Elean prisoners, Hegio commences to traffic in captives, with the view of thereb
redeeming his son from the Eleans, in exchange for some prisoner of rank. A,
this conjuncture the Play commences. Among the captives whom Hegio has
chased, Philocrates is one, having been taken prisoner, together with his ser-
vant, Tyndarus. With the object of deceiving Hegio, Philocrates and Tyndarus
change their clothes, and having exchanged names as well, Philocrates pretends
to be the servant of Tyndarus. Hegio being desirous to procure the ex-
change of his son, Philocrates (in the character of the servant of his fellow-
captive) is sent to Elis for that purpose. After his departure, Aristophontes,
another captive, accidentally puts Hegio in the way of discovering the manner
in which he has been deceived. On this, the old man, losing all hope of obtaining
the liberation of his son, sends Tyndarus in chains to the stone-quarries.
Shortly after, Philocrates returns, and brings with him Philopolemus, the son
of Hegio, and Stalagmus, the runaway slave, that had stolen his other son.
It is then discovered that Stalagmus had sold the child to the father of Phi-
locrates, and that he is no other than Tyndarus, tre slave; on which, Tyndarus
is sent for, and is informed that he is the lost son of Hegio. Stalagmus is then
condemned to the chains from which Tyndarus as liberated.
CAPTIVI; THE CAPTIVES.
THE ACROSTIC ARGUMENT¹.
[Supposed to have been written by Priscian the Grammarian.]
One son of Hegio has been made prisoner (Captus) in battle. A runaway slave
has sold the other (Alium) when four years old. The father (Pater) traffics in
Elean captives, only (Tantum) desirous that he may recover his son, and (Et)
among these he buys his son that was formerly lost. He (Is), his clothes
and his name changed with his master, causes that (Ut) he is lost to Hegio;
and he himself is punished. And (Et) he brings back the captive and the
runaway together, through whose information (Indicio) he discovers his other
son.
THE PROLOGUE.
THESE two captives (pointing to PHILOCRATES and TYN-
Darus), whom you see standing bere, are standing here be-
cause- -they are both standing, and are not sitting. That
I am saying this truly, you are my witnesses. The old man,
who lives here (pointing to HEGIO's house), is Hegio-his
father (pointing to TYNDARUS). But under what circum-
stances he is the slave of his own father, that I will here
explain to you, if you give attention. This old man had
two sons; a slave stole one child when four years old,
and flying hence, he sold him in Elis³, to the father of this
1 In this Acrostic it will be found that the old form of "Capteivei" is preserved.
2 Because they are both)-Ver. 2. This is apparently intended as a piece of
humour, in catching or baulking the audience. He begins as though he was
going to explain why the captives are standing there, and ends his explanation
with saying that they are standing because they are not sitting. A similar
truism is uttered by Pamphila, in the Stichus, 1. 120.
3 In Elis)—Ver. 9. Elis, or, as it is called by Plautus,
Achaia, in the north-western part of the Peloponnesus.
games were celebrated
"Alis," was a city of
Near it the Olympio
426
CAPTIVE;
I'm
captive (pointing to PIILOCRATES). Now, to you under
stand this? Very good. I' faith, that mar at a distance¹
there (pointing) says, no.
Come nearer then. If there isn't
room for you to sit down, there is for you to walk; since
you'd be compelling an actor to bawl like a beggar2.
not going to burst myself for your sake, so don't you be mis-
taken. You who are enabled by your means to pay your
taxes, listen to the rest; I care not to be in debt to another.
This runaway slave, as I said before, sold his young master,
whom, when he fled, he had carried off, to this one's father.
He, after he bought him, gave him as his own private slaves
¹ That man at a distance)-Ver. 11. One of the audience, probably a plebeian
who has no seat, but is standing in a remote part of the theatre, is supposed to
exclaim in a rude manner that he cannot hear what the actor says. On this the
speaker tells him that he had better come nearer; and if he cannot find a seat,
there is room for him to walk away. Possibly the verb "ambulo" may be in-
tended to signify in this case either to walk" or "to stand," in contradistinction
to sitting. Rost, with some reason, suggests "abscedito," "walk out," in place of
"accedito,"
99 66 come nearer."
2 To bawl like a beggar)—Ver. 13. Commentators have differed as to the
meaning of this passage. Some think that he means that with the view of
pleasing the plebeian part of the audience, he shall not bawl out like a beggar
asking alms; while others suppose that the meaning is, that he will not run the
risk of cracking his voice, after which he will be hissed off the stage, and so be
reduced to beggary.
3 To pay your taxes)—Ver. 15. By this he shows that the party whom he
is addressing, is either one of the lowest plebeians or a slave. In the assess-
ment or census, which was made by the Censors, the slaves were not numbered
at all, being supposed to have no caput," or "civil condition." The lowest cen-
tury were the "proletarii," whose only qualification was the being heads of fami-
lies, or fathers of children. In addressing those who are reckoned in the cers s
แ ope vestrâ,' ""by your means" or "circumstances," he seems to be rebuking the
"proletarii," who had no such standing, and who probably formed the most noisy
part of the audience. As these paid no part of the taxes with which the theatres
were in part supported, of course they would be placed at a greater distance from
the stage, and probably were not accommodated with seats. It was just about
this period that the elder Scipio assigned different places in the theatres to the
various classes of the people.
แ
4 Listen to the rest)—Ver. 16. Reliquum" was a term which either signified
generally, "what is left," or money borrowed and still unpaid. He plays upon
these different meanings-" Accipite reliquum," which may either signify "hear
the rest" or "take what is due and owing," and he then makes the observation,
parenthetically, “alieno uti nil moror," "I don't care to be in dett.
• His own private slave)—Ver. 20. "Peculiaris" means "for his own private
ase," or attached to his person:" being considered as though bought with his
แ
THE CAPTIVES.
427
to this son of his, because they were of about the same age.
He is now the slave at home of his own father, nor does his
father know it. Verily, the Gods do treat us men just like
footballs¹. You hear the manner now how he lost one son.
Afterwards, the Etolians² are waging war with the people of
Elis, and, as happens in warfare, the other son is taken pri-
soner. The physician Menarchus buys him there in Elis.
On this, this Hegio begins to traffic in Elean captives, if, per-
chance, he may be able to find one to change for that captive
son of his. He knows not that this one who is in his house
is his own son. And as he heard yesterday that an Elean
knight of very high rank and very high family was taken
prisoner, he has spared no expense to rescue his son³. In
order that he may more easily bring him back home, he buys
both of these of the Quæstors out of the spoil.
Now they, between themselves, have contrived this plan,
that, by means of it, the servant may send away hence his
master home. And therefore among themselves they change
their garments and their names. He, there (pointing), is
called Philocrates; this one (pointing), Tyndarus; he this
day assumes the character of this one, this one of him. And
this one to-day will cleverly carry out this plot, and cause
his master to gain his liberty; and by the same means he will
་
son's "peculium," or 、ut of his own private purse. The "peculium" was the sum
of money which a son in his minority was allowed by his father to be in possession
of. The word also signified the savings of the slave.
LL
1 Just like footballs)-Ver. 22. "Pilas." Among the ancients, games with
the "pila" were those played with the "pila trigonalis," so called, probably, from
the players standing in a triangle, and those with the "follis," which was a larger
ball, inflated with air and struck with the hands, or used for a football. Paga-
nica" was a similar ball, but harder, being stuffed with feathers, and was used by
the country-people. Harpastum" was a small ball used by the Greeks, which
was scrambled for as soon as it came to the ground, whence it received its name.
The Greeks bad a proverb similar to this expression, θεῶν παίγνια ἀνθρωποὶ,
"men are the playthings of the Gods." So Plato called mankind déwv àðúp-
para, "the sport of the Gods."
ματα,
แ
2 The Etolians)—Ver. 24. Ætolia was a country of Greece, the southern por-
tion of which was bounded by the Corinthian Gulf; it was opposite to the Eleau
serritory, from which it was divided by the gulf.
To rescue his son)-Ver. 32. "Filio dum parceret." Literally, "so long as
he might spare his son."
4 Of the Quaestors)-Ver. 34. In speaking of these officers, Plautus, as usual,
introduces Roman customs into a Play the scene of which is in Grecce. It has been
previously remarked that the Quææstors had the selling of the spoils taken in war
128
Act I
CAPTIVI;
save his own brother, and without knowing it, will cause him
to return back a free man to his own country to his father.
just as often now, on many occasions, a person has done more
good unknowingly than knowingly. But unconsciously, by
their devices, they have so planned and devised their plot,
and have so contrived it by their design, that this one
is living in servitude with his own father. And thus now,
in ignorance, he is the slave of his own father. What poor
creatures are men, when I reflect upon it! This plot will be
performed by us-a play for your entertainment. * But there
is, besides, a thing which, in a few words, I would wish to
inform you of. Really, it will be worth your while to give
your attention to this play. 'Tis not composed in the hack-
neyed style, nor yet like other plays, nor are there in it any
ribald lines¹ unfit for utterance: here is neither the perjured
procurer, nor the artful courtesan, nor yet the braggart cap-
tain. Don't you be afraid because I've said that there's war
between the Etolians and the Eleans. There (pointing), at
a distance, beyond the scenes, the battles will be fought. For
this were almost impossible for a Comic establishment, that
we should at a moment attempt to be acting Tragedy. If,
therefore, any one is looking for a battle, let him commence
the quarrel; if he shall find an adversary more powerful, I'll
cause him to be the spectator of a battle that isn't pleasant
to him, so that hereafter he shall hate to be a spectator of
them all. I now retire. Fare ye well, at home, most upright
judges, and in warfare most valiant combatants.
ACT I.-SCENE I.
Enter ERGASILUS.
ERG. The young men have given me the name of "the
mistress," for this reason, because invocated³ I am wont
¹ Any ribald lines)—Ver. 56. See the address of the Company of actors to
the Spectators at the end of the Play.
2 A Comic establishment)—Ver. 61. "Comico choragio." Literally, "for the
choragium of Comedy." The "choragium" was the dress and furniture, or "pro-
perties" for the stage, supplied by the "choragus," or keeper of the theatrical
wardrobe.
3 Because invocated)-Ver. 70. "Invocatus." The following Note is extracted
from Thornton's Translation of this Play:-"The reader's indulgence for the coin-
age of a new term (and perhaps not quite so much out of character from the mouth
of a Parasite) is here requested in the use of the word 'invocated' in a sense, which
Sc. I.
429
THE CAPTIVES.
to attend at the panquet. I know that buffoons¹ say that this
is absurdly said, but I affirm that it is rightly said. For at
the banquet the lover, when he throws the dice, invokes his
mistress. Is she then invocated, or is she not? She is,
most clearly. But, i' faith, we Parasites with better reason
are so called, whom no person ever either invites or in-
vokes, and who, like mice, are always eating the victuals of an-
other person. When business is laid aside³, when people
repair to the country, at that same moment is business laid
aside for our teeth. Just as, when it is hot weather, snails
lie hidden in secret, and live upon their own juices, if the
dew doesn't fall; so, when business is laid aside, do Parasites
lie hidden in retirement, and miserably live upon their
own juices, while in the country the persons are rusticating
whom they sponge upon. When business is laid aside, we
Parasites are greyhounds; when business recommences, like
mastiffs, we are annoying-like and very troublesome-like5.
it is owned, there is no authority for, but without it no way occurs to explain the
poet's meaning-which, such as it is, and involved in such a pun, is all that call
be aimed at. The word 'invocatus' means both called upon' and 'not called
upon.' Ergasilus here quibbles upon it; for, though at entertainments he at-
tends, as it is the common character of Parasites to do, without invitation, that
is not called upon;' and as mistresses are 'called upon' that their names so in-
voked may make their lovers throw the dice with success; still, according to
the double sense of the word, they may be compared to each other, as they are
both, according to the Latin idiom, 'invocati.'"
¹ That buffoons)—Ver. 71. “Derisores," "buffoons." By this word he means,
that particular class of Parasites who earned their dinners by their repartees and
bon-mots.
2 Invokes his mistress)—Ver. 73. It was the Grecian custom, when they threw
dice at an entertainment, for the thrower to call his mistress by name, which in-
vocation was considered to bring good luck.
³ When business is laid aside)—Ver. 78. "Ubi res prolatæ sunt." Meaning
theresy "in vacation-time." In the heat of summer the courts of justice were
closed, and the more wealthy portion of the Romans retired into the country or te
the seaside. Cicero mentions this vacation as "rerum prolatio." The allusion in
the previous line is probably derived from a saying of the Cynic Diogenes; when
he saw mice creeping under the table, he used to say, "See the Parasites of Dio-
genes."
• Like mastiffs)—Ver. 86. "Molossici." Literally, dogs of Molossus," a
country of Epirus.
• Annoying-like and very troublesome-like)-Ver. 87. "Odiosici-incommo.
destici." These are two extravagant forms of the words "odiosi" and "incon-
modi," coined by the author for the occasio...
430
Act I.
CAPTIVI;
And here, indeed, unless, i' faith, any Parasite is able to en-
dure cuffs with the fist, and pots to be broken¹ about his
head, why he may e'en go with his wallet outside the Trige-
minian Gate2. That this may prove my lot, there is some
danger. For since my patron³ has fallen into the hands of
the enemy-(such warfare are the Etolians now waging with
the Eleans; for this is Etolia; this Philopolemus has been
made captive in Elis, the son of this old man Hegio who lives
here (pointing to the house) a house which to me is a house
of woe, and which so oft as I look upon, I weep). Now, for
the sake of his son, has he commenced this dishonorable
traffic, very much against his own inclination. He buys up
men that have been made captives, if perchance he may be
able to find some one for whom to gain his son in exchange,
An object which I really do much desire that he may gain,
for unless he finds him, there's nowhere for me to find myself.
I have no hopes in the young men; they are all too fond of
themselves. He, in fine, is a youth with the old-fashioned
nanners, whose countenance I never rendered cheerful with-
out a return. His father is worthily matched, as endowed
with like manners. Now I'll go to him ;—but his door is
opening, the door from which full oft I've sallied forth drunk
with excess of cheer. (He stands aside.)
SCENE II.—Enter, from his house, HEGIO and a SLAVE.
HEG. Now, give attention you, if you please. Those two
captives whom I purchased yesterday of the Quæstors out of
the spoil, put upon them chains of light weight; take off
¹ Pots to be broken)-Ver. 89. By Meursins we are informed that these prac-
tical jokes were played upon the unfortunate Parasites with pots filled with cin-
ders, which were sometimes scattered over their clothes, to the great amusement
of their fellow-guests.
2 The Trigeminian Gate)—Ver. 90. The Ostian Gate was so called because the
Horatii left the city by that gate to fight the Curiatii. The brothers being born
at one birth were แ
trigemini," whence the gate received its name. The beggars
with their wallets were seated there. See the Trinummus, 1. 423, and the Note
to the passage.
3 Since my patron)—Ver. 92. Rex; literally, "king." The Parasites were in
the habit of so calling their entertainers.
4 Chains of light weight)—Ver. 112. "Singularias." This word may admit of
three interpretations, and it is impossible to decide which is the right one. It
may mean chains weighing a single "libra," or pound; it may signify chains
for the captives singly, in contradistinction to those by which they were fastened
Sc. II.
431
THE CAPTIVES.
those greater ones with which they are bound. Permit them
to walk, if they wish, out of doors, or if in-doors, but so that
they are watched with the greatest care. A captive at liberty
is like a bird that's wild; if opportunity is once given for
escaping, 'tis enough; after that, you can never catch him.
SLAVE. Doubtless we all are free men more willingly than
we live the life of slaves.
HEG. You, indeed, don't seem to think so¹.
SLAVE. If I have nothing to give, should you like me to
give myself to flight??
HEG. If you do so give yourself, I shall at once have some-
thing to be giving to you.
SLAVE. I'll make myself just like the wild bird you were
telling of.
HEG. "Tis just as you say; for if you do so, I'll be giving
you to the cages. But enough of prating; take you care of
what I've ordered, and be off. (The SLAVE goes into the
house.) I'll away to my brother's, to my other captives; I'll
go see whether they've been making any disturbance last
night. From there I shall forthwith betake myself home again.
ERG. (apart). It grieves me that this unhappy old man is
following the trade of a slave-dealer, by reason of the mis-
fortune of his son. But, if by any means he can be brought
back here, I could even endure for him to become an exe-
cutioner.
HEG. (overhearing him). Who is it that's speaking?
In the
to each other; or it may mean single chains, in opposition to double ones.
Acts of the Apostles, ch. 12, v. 6, we read that St. Peter was bound with two
chains; and in ch. 13, v. 33, the chief captain orders St. Paul to be bound with
two chains.
¹ Don't seem to think so)—Ver. 120. Hegio means to say that the slave does
not seem to think liberty so very desirable, or he would try more to please
his master and do his duty, which might probably be the right method for
gaining his liberty. As the slave could generally ransom bimself out of his
peculium," or "savings," if they were sufficient, the slave here either thinks, or
pretends to think, that Hegio is censuring him for nct taking those means, and
answers, accordingly, that he has nothing to offer.
2 Give myself to flight)-Ver. 121. "Dem in pedes." Literally, "give myself
to my feet," meaning thereby "to run away." He puns upon this meaning of
dare," and its common signification of "to give" or "to offer to give."
of
""
3 Giving you to the cage)-Ver. 124. "In cavearn.' He plays on the word
cavca," which meaning "a cage" for a bird, might also mean confinement for a
prisoner.
432
Act 1.
CAPTIVI;
ERG. 'Tis I, who am pining at your afflictior, growing
thin, waxing old, and shockingly wasting away. Wretched
man that I am, I'm but skin and bone through leanness; nor
does anything ever do me good that I eat at home; even
that ever so little which I taste out of doors, the same re-
freshes me.
HEG. Ergasilus, save you!
kindly bless you, Hegio!
ERG. (crying). May the Gods.
HEG. Don't weep. ERG. Must I not weep for him?
Must I not weep for such a young man?
HEG. I've always known you to be a friend to my son,
and I have understood him to be so to yɔu.
ERG. Then at last do we men know our blessings, when
we have lost those things which we once had in our power.
I, since your son fell into the power of the enemy, knowing
by experience of what value he was, now feel his loss.
HEG. Since you, who are no relation, bear his misfortune
so much amiss, what is it likely that I, a father, should do,
whose only son he is?
Oh,
ERG, I, no relation to him? He, no relation to me?
Hegio! never do say that, nor come to such a belief. To
you he is an only child, but to me he is even more only than
an ouly one.
of
HEG. I commend you, in that you consider the affliction
your friend
your own affliction. Now be of good heart.
ERG. (crying). O dear! HEG. (half-aside). 'Tis this afflicts
him, that the army for guttling is now disbanded. Mean-
while, have you found no one to command for you the army
that you mentioned as disbanded ?
ERG. What do you think? All to whom it used to fall
are in the habit of declining that province since your son
Philopolemus was taken prisoner.
HEG. I' faith, 'tisn't to be wondered at, that they are
in the habit of declining that province. You have necessity
for numerous troops, and those of numerous kinds. Well,
first you have need of the Bakerians¹. Of these Bakerians
¹ The Bakerians)-Ver. 162. This and the following appellations are ex-
pressive both of the several trades that contributed to furnishing entertainments,
and, in the Latin, also denoted the names of inhabitants of several places in Italy
or elsewhere. As this meaning could not be expressed in a literal translation of
them, the original words are here subjoined. In the word "Pistorienses," he
Sc. II.
433
THE CAPTIVES.
there are several kinds. You have need of Roll-makerians,
you have need too of Confectionerians, you have need of
Poultererians, you have need of Beccaficorians; besides, all
the maritime forces are necessary for you.
ERG. How the greatest geniuses do frequently lie con-
cealed! How great a general now is this private individual!
HEG. Only have good courage; for I trust that in a few
days I shall bring him back home. For see now; there's a cap-
tive here, a young man of Elis, born of a very high family,
and of very great wealth; I trust that it will come to pass
that I shall get my son in exchange for him.
ERG. May the Gods and Goddesses grant it so!
HEG. But are you invited out anywhere to dinner?
ERG. Nowhere that I know of. But, pray, why do you
ask me?
HEG. Because this is my birthday; for that reason I'd
like you to be invited to dinner at my house.
ERG. 'Tis kindly said.
to eat a very little-
HEG. But if you can be content
ERG. Aye, even ever so little; for on such fare as that do
I enjoy myself every day at home.
HEG. Come, then, please, set yourself up for sale.
ERG. I'll put myself up for purchase, just like a landed
estate, unless any one shall privately make a better offer that
pleases myself and my friends more, and to my own conditions
will I bind myself.
HEG. You are surely selling me a bottomless pit¹, and not
a landed estate. But if you are coming, do so in time.
ERG. Why, for that matter, I'm at leisure even now.
alludes to the bakers, and the natives of Pistorium, a town of Etruria; in the
"Panicei," to the bread or roll bakers, and the natives of Pana, a little town
of the Samnites, mentioned by Strabo; in the "Placentini," to the "confec-
tioners" or
or "cake-makers," and the people of Placentia, a city in the North of
Italy; in the "Turdetani," to the "poulterers" or "sellers of thrushes," and the
people of Turdetania, a district of Spain; and in the "Ficedula," to the "sellers
of beccaficos," a delicate bird, and the inhabitants of Ficeaula, a town near
Rome, Of course, these appellations, as relating to the trades, are only co-
mical words coined for the occasion.
¹ A bottomless pit)-Ver. 183. He plays upon the resemblance in sound of the
word "fundum," "landed property," to "profundum," "a deep cavity," to which
he compares the Parasite's stomach. "You sell me landed property, indeed; say
rather a bottomless pit."
2 F
434
Act II
CAPTIVI;
HEG. Go then, and hunt for a hare; at present, in me you
have but a ferret¹, for my fare is in the way of frequenting a
rugged road.
ERG. You'll never repulse me by that, Hegio, so don't
attempt it. I'll come, in spite of it, with teeth well shod.
HEG. Really, my viands are but of a rough sort2.
Are you in the habit of eating brambles?
ERG,
HEG. Mine is an earthy dinner. ERG. A pig is an earthy
animal.
HEG. Earthy from its plenty of vegetables.
ERG. Treat your sick peoples at home with that fare? Do
you wish anything else?
HEG. Come in good time. ERG. You are putting in mind
one who remembers quite well.
(Exit.
HEG. I'll go in-doors, and in the house I'll make the cal-
culation how little money I have at my banker's; afterwards
I'll go to my brother's, whither I was saying I would go.
(Goes into his house.)
ACT II.-SCENE I.
Enter, from the house, PHILOCRATES, TYNDARUS, and SLAVES
and CAPTIVES of HEGIO.
SLAVE. If the immortal Gods have so willed it that you
should undergo this affliction, it becomes you to endure it
with equanimity; if you do so, your trouble will be lighter4.
¹ Have but a ferret)—Ver. 185. This passage has much puzzled the Commen-
tators; but allowing for some very far-fetched wit, which is not uncommon with.
Plautus, it may admit of some explanation. He tells the Parasite that he had
better look for a nicer dinner, a hare, in fact; for that in dining with him, he will
only get the ferret (with which the hare was hunted) for his dinner. Then, inas-
much as the ferret was used for following the hare or rabbit into "scruposæ viæ,'
"impervious" or "rocky places" where they had burrowed, he adds: "For my
dinner, ferret-like, frequents rugged places;" by which he probably means that
it is nothing but a meagre repast of vegetables, of which possibly capers formed a
part, which grow plentifully in Italy, in old ruins and craggy spots. Some suggest
that it was a custom with the huntsmen, if they failed to catch the hare, to kill
and eat the ferret.
2 Are but of a rough sort)—Ver. 189. The word "asper" means either "un-
cavoury" or "prickly," according to the context. Hegio means to use it in the former
sense, but the Parasite, for the sake of repartee, chooses to take it in the latter.
• Treat your sick people)-Ver. 191. He means that such a dinner may suit
sick people, but will not be to his taste.
• Will be lighter)-Ver. 197. The English proverb corresponds with this
What can't be cured must be endured.
Sc. I.
435
THE CAPTIVES.
At home you were free men, I suppose; now if slavery has
befallen you, 'tis a becoming way for you to put up with it,
and by your dispositions to render it light, under a master's
rule. Unworthy actions which a master does must be deemed
worthy ones.
PHIL. and TYND. Alas! alas! alas! SLAVE. There's no
need for wailing; you cause much injury to your eyes. In
adversity, if you use fortitude of mind, it is of service.
PHIL. and TYND. But we are ashamed, because we are in
bonds.
SLAVE. But in the result it might cause vexation to our
master, if he were to release you from chains, or allow you to
be loose, whom he has purchased with his money.
PHIL. and TYND. What does he fear from us? We know
our duty, what it is, if he allows us to be loose.
SLAVE. Why, you are meditating escape. I know what
it is you are devising.
PHIL. and TYND. We, make our escape? Whither should
we escape ?
SLAVE. To your own country.
PHIL. and TYND. Out
upon you; it would ill befit us to be following the example of
runaways.
SLAVE. Why, faith, should there be an opportunity, I don't
advise you not.
PHIL. and TYND. Do you allow us to make one request.
SLAVE. What is it, pray? PHIL. and TYND. That you
will give us an opportunity of conversing, without these and
yourselves for overlookers.
SLAVE. Be it so; go you away from here, you people. Let's
step here, on one side. (To the other CAPTIVES and SLAVES.)
But commence upon a short conversation only.
PHIL. O yes, it was my intention so to do. Step aside this
way (to TYNDArus).
SLAVE (to the other CAPTIVES). Stand apart from them.
TYND. (to the SLAVE). We are both greatly obliged to you,
by reason of your doing so, since you allow us to obtain what
we are desirous of.
PHIL. Step here then, at a distance now, if you think fit,
that no listeners may be enabled to overhear our discourse,
and that this plan of ours mayn't be divulged before them
for a stratagem is no stratagem, if you don't plan it with art
2 F 2
436
Act II.
CAPTIVI;
but it is a very great misfortune fit becomes disclosed.
For if you are my master, and I represent myself as your
servant, still there's need of foresight, and need of caution,
that this may be carried out discreetly and without over-
Lookers, with carefulness and with cautious prudence and
diligence. So great is the matter that has been commenced
upon; this must not be carried out in any drowsy fashion.
TYND. Just as you shall desire me to be, I will be.
PHIL. I trust so. TYND. For now you see that for your
precious life I'm setting at stake my own, as dear to me.
PHIL. I know it. TYND. But remember to know it when
you shall be enjoying that which you wish for; for mostly, the
greatest part of mankind follow this fashion; what they w.sh
for, until they obtain it, they are rightminded; but when
they have now got it in their power, from being rightminded
they become most deceitful, and most dishonest; now I do
consider that you are towards me as I wish. What I advise
you, I would advise my own father.
PHIL. I' faith, if I could venture, I would call you father;
for next to my own father, you are my nearest father.
TYND. I understand. PHIL. And therefore I remind you
the more frequently, that you may remember it. I am not
your master, but your servant; now this one thing I do beseech
you. Inasmuch as the immortal Gods have disclosed to us
their wishes, that they desire me to have once been your
master, and now to be your fellow-captive; what formerly of
my right I used to command you, now with entreaties do I beg
of you, by our uncertain fortunes, and by the kindness of my
father towards you, and by our common captivity, which has
befallen us by the hand of the enemy, don't you pay me any
greater respect than I did you when you were my slave; and
don't you forget to remember who you were, and who you
now are.
TYND. I know, indeed, that I now am you, and that you
are I.
PHIL. Well, if you are able carefully to remember that, I
have some hope in this scheme of ours.
SCENE II.—Enter HEGIO, from his house, speaking to those
within.
HEG. I shall return in-doors just now, when 1 shall have
Sć. II.
437
THE CAPTIVES.
(To the
discovered from these people what I want to know.
SLAVES.) Where are those persons whom I ordered to be
brought out of doors here, before the house?
PHIL. By my faith, I find that you have taken due pre-
caution that we shouldn't be missed by you, so walled in
are we with chains and keepers.
HEG. He that takes precaution that he mayn't be deceived,
is hardly on his guard, even while he's taking precaution;
even when he has supposed that he has taken every precau
tion, full often is this wary man outwitted. Was there not
good reason, indeed, for me to watch you carefully, whom I
purchased with so large a sum of ready money ?
PHIL. Troth, it isn't fair for us to hold you to blame, be-
cause you watch us closely; nor yet for you us, if we go away
hence, should there be an opportunity.
HEG. As you are here, so is my son a captive there among
your people.
PHIL. He, a captive? HEG. Even so.
PHIL. We, then, have not proved the only cowards¹.
HEG. (to PHILOCRATES, supposing him to be the SERVANT
of the other). Step you aside this way, for there are some
things that I wish to enquire of you in private, on which
subjects I would have you not to be untruthful to me.
(They step aside.)
PHIL. I will not be, as to that which I shall know; if I
shall not know anything, that which I don't know I'll tell
you of.
TYND. (aside). Now is the old fellow in the barber's
shop; now, at this very instant, is Philocrates wielding
the razor². He hasn't cared, indeed, to put on the barber's
cloths, so as not to soil his dress. But whether to say
that he's going to shave him close, or trim him¹ through the
¹ The only cowards)—Ver. 267. He alludes to the notion in the heroic times,
that it was the duty of a warrior to conquer or to die, and that it was dis-
graceful to be made prisoner.
2 Wielding the razor)—Ver. 271. It is hard to say whether by the word “cul-
tros," in this passage, razors or scissors are meant.
$ To put on the barber's cloth)-Ver. 272. He probably means by this ex-
pression that Philocrates has made no preamble, and shown no hesitation, in com-
mencing at once to dupe the old man.
• Or trim him)—Ver. 273. He alludes here to the two kinds of shaving and
trimming the beard used by the barbers among the ancients. The one was close
438
Act II.
CAPTIVI;
comb¹, I don't know; but if he's wise, he'll scrape him right
well to the very quick.
HEG. (to PHILOCRATES). Which would you? Would you
prefer to be a slave, or a free man ?-Tell me.
PHIL. That which is the nearest to good, and the furthest
off from evil, do I prefer; although my servitude hasn't proved
very grievous to me, nor has it been otherwise to me than
if I had been a son in the family.
TYND. (aside). Capital! I wouldn't purchase, at a talent's
price even, Thales the Milesian2; for compared with this
man's wisdom, he was a very twaddler. How cleverly has he
suited his language to the slave's condition.
HEG. Of what family is this Philocrates born?
PHIL. The Polyplusian³; which one family is flourishing
there, and held in highest esteem.
HEG. What is he himself? In what esteem is he held
there?
PHIL. In the highest, and that by the very highest men.
HEG. Since, then, he is held in such great respect among
the Eleans, as you tell of, what substance has he ?-Of large
amount?
PHIL. Enough for him, even, when an old man, to be melt-
ing out the tallow.
σκάφιον
"strictim," when they shaved to the skin; the other was, when with a pair of
scissors they clipped the hair, with the interposition of a comb. The former fashion
was called by the Greeks σkádiov; the latter method, which was borrowed
from the Persians, kŷπos. "Esse in tonstrinâ," "to be in the barber's shop,"
was a proverbial expression to denote "being imposed upon." Tyndarus is wonder-
ing to what extent Philocrates is going to impose upon Hegio.
¹ Through the comb)-Ver. 273. The Greeks and Romans made their combs
of boxwood, much of which was imported from Paphlagonia. The Egyptians
used them made of wood and of ivory, and toothed on one side only; while those
of the Grecks had teeth on both sides.
2 Thales the Milesian)—Ver. 279. A talent would be a low price for such a
learned slave as Thales the Milesian, who was one of the seven wise men of
Greece. He says, however, that Thales at such a low price would be nothing in
comparison with Philocrates for the same money.
46
3 The Polyplusian)—Ver. 282. This word is coined by Philocrates for the occa-
sion, as being the name of his family, from the Greek word woλunλovσiòs,
very wealthy;" probably with the idea of raising the expectations of Hegio
And making him the more ready to promote an exchange of his own son for a
member of so opulent a family.
Melting out the tallow)-Ver, 286. Hegio asks him if his riches are very
Sc. II.
439
THE CAPTIVES.
HEG. What is his father? Is he living? PHIL. When we
departed thence, we left him alive; whether he's living now
or not, Orcus, forsooth, must know that.
TYND. (aside). The matter's all right; he's not only
lying, but he's even philosophizing now.
HEG. What's his name? PHIL. Thesaurochrysonicocrœ-
sides¹.
HEG. That name has been given, I suppose, by reason of
his wealth, as it were.
PHIL. Troth, not so, but rather by reason of his avarice
and grasping disposition; for, indeed, he was Theodoromedes
originally by name.
HEG. How say you? Is his father covetous ?
PHIL. Aye, by my faith, he is covetous. Why, that you
may even understand it the better,-when he's sacrificing at
any time to his own Genius2, the vessels that are needed for
the sacrifice he uses of Samian ware, lest the Genius himself
should steal them; from this, consider how much he would
trust other people.
HEG. (addressing TYNDARUS as though PIILOCRATES). Do
you then follow me this way. (Aside.) The things that 1
desire to know, I'll enquire of him. (Addressing TYN-
DARUS.) Philocrates, this person has done as it becomes an
honest man to do. For from him I've learnt of what
family you are sprung; he has confessed it to me.
If you
are willing to own these same things (which, however, un-
derstand that I already know from him), you will be doing
it for your own advantage.
abundant, and in doing so uses the word "opima," of which the primary mean-
ing
mg was "fat;" the other answers, "Yes, so fat that he can be melting the tallow
out of them even when he is an old man;" meaning thereby that he is amply
provided with means.
¹ Thesaurochrysonicocræsides)—Ver. 290. This is a name made up of several
Greek words, and seems to mean "a son of Croesus, abounding in treasures of
gold," in allusion to Croesus, the wealthy king of Lydia. The author indulges in
similar pleasantry in the Miles Gloriosus.
2 To his own Genius)—Vor. 295. As the Genius of a man was not only his
guardian Deity through life, but the word was also used to signify his capacity for
enjoyment; the term "to sacrifice to his Genius," is supposed by some Commen-
tators to mean,
to indulge the appetite in feasting and good cheer." This,
however, seems not to be the meaning in this instance; and he probably intends
to be understood as alluding, literally, to the domestic sacritice to the Genius.
แ
440
Act II.
CAPTIVI
TYND. He did his duty when he confessed the truth tc
you, although, Hegio, I wished carefully to conceal both my
rank and my wealth; now, inasmuch as I've lost my country
and my liberty, I don't think it right for him to be dreading
me rather than you. The might of warfare has made my
fortunes on a level with himself. I remember the time when
he didn't dare to do it in word; now, in deed, he is at liberty
to offend me. But don't you see? Human fortune moulds
and fashions just as she wills. Myself, who was a free man
she has made a slave, from the very highest the very lowest.
I, who was accustomed to command, now obey the mandates
of another. And indeed, if I meet with a master just such
as I proved the ruler in my own household, I shall not fear
that he will rule me harshly or severely. With this, Hegio,
I wished you to be acquainted, unless perchance you your
self wish it not.
HEG. Speak boldly out. TYND. As free a man was I till
lately as your son. As much did a hostile hand deprive me
of my liberty as him of his. As much is he a slave among
my people, as I am now a slave here with yourself. There is
undoubtedly a God, who both hears and sees the things
which we do. Just as you shall treat me here, in the same
degree will he have a care for him. To the well-deserving
will he show favour, to the ill-deserving will he give a like
return. As much as you lament your son, so much does my
father lament me.
HEG. That I am aware of. But do you admit the same
that he has disclosed to me?
TYND. I confess that my father has very great wealth at
home, and that I am born of a very noble family; but I
entreat you, Hegio, let not my riches make your mind too
prone to avarice, lest it should seem to my father, although
I am his only son, more suitable that I should be a slave
m your house, bountifully supplied at your expense and with
your clothing, rather than be living the life of a beggar where
'twould be far from honorable.
HEG. By the favour of the Gods and of my forefathers, I
am rich enough. I don't quite believe that every kind of
gain is serviceable to mankind. I know that gain has already
made many a man famous; and yet there are occasions
when it is undoubtedly better to incur loss than to make gain.
Sc. II.
441
THE CAPTIVES.
Gold I detest: many a one has it persuaded to many an evil
course. Now give your attention to this, that you may
know as well what my wishes are. My son, taken prisoner,
is in servitude at Elis there among your people; if you
restore him to me, don't you give me a single coin besides;
both you and him, your servant, I'll send back from here; on
no other terms can you depart hence.
TYND. You ask what's very right and very just, and you
are the very kindest person of all mankind. But whether is
he in servitude to a private person or to the public¹?
HEG. In private servitude to Menarchus, a physician.
PHIL. By my faith, that person's surely his father's de-
pendant. Why really, that's down as pat for you, as the
shower is when it rains.
HEG. Do you then cause this person, my son, to be redeemed.
TYND. I'll do so: but this I beg of you, Hegio-—
HEG. Whatever you wish, so that you request nothing
against my interest, I'll do.
TYND. Listen then, and you'll know. I don't ask for my-
self to be released, until he has returned. But I beg of you
to give me him (pointing to PHILOCRATES) with a price set²
upon him, that I may send him to my father, that this per-
son, your son, may be redeemed there.
HEG. Why no; I'd rather send another person hence,
when there shall be a truce, to confer with your father there,
and to carry your injunctions which you shall entrust him
with, just as you wish.
TYND. But it's of no use to send to him one that he doesn't
know; you'd be losing your labour. Send this person; he'll
have it all completed, if he gets there. And you cannot
send any person to him more faithful, nor one in whom he
places more confidence, nor who is more a servant after his
own mind; nor, in fact, one to whom he would more readily
entrust your son. Have no fears; at my own peril I'll make
proof of his fidelity, relying upon his disposition; because he
is sensible that I'm kindly disposed towards him.
¹ Or to the public)-Ver. 339. Some captives were employed in the public
service, while others fell into the hands of private individuals.
a
2 With a price set)-Ver. 345. "Estimatus" here means "entrusted to s
person at a fixed value, and at his risk for the due return of it.'
442
Act II.
CAPTIVI;
HEG. Well then, I'll send him with a price set upon him,
on the surety of your promise, if you wish it.
TYND. I do wish it; so soon as ever it can, I want this
matter to be brought to completion.
HEG. What reason is there, then, that if he doesn't
return, you should not pay me twenty minæ for him?
TYND. Yes-very good. HEG. (to the SLAVES, who obey).
Release him now forthwith; and, indeed, both of them. (On
being released, PHILOCRATES goes into the house.)
TIND. May all the Gods grant you all your desires, since
you have deigned me honor so great, and since you release
me from my chains. Really, this is not so irksome now,
since my neck is free from the collar-chain.
HEG. The kindnesses that are done to the good, thanks for
the same are pregnant with blessings. Now, if
you are about
to send him thither, direct, instruct him, give him the orders
which you wish to be carried to your father. Should you
like me to call him to you?
TYND. Do call him. (HEGIO goes to the door, and calls
PHILOCRATES.)
SCENE III. Enter PHILOCRATES, from the house.
HEG. May this affair turn out happily for myself and for
my son, and for yourselves. (To PHILOCRATE.) Your new
master wishes you to pay faithful obedience to your former
owner in what he wishes. For I have presented you to him,
with the price of twenty minæ set upon you: and he says
that he is desirous to send you away hence to his father, that
he may there redeem my son, and that an exchange may be
made between me and him for our respective sons.
PHIL. My disposition takes its course straight in either
direction, both to yourself and to him; as a wheel¹ you may
¹ As a wheel)—Ver. 374. This may either mean the wheel of a vehicle or a
potter's wheel. The wheels used by the ancients revolved on the axle, as in the
carriages of modern times, and were prevented, by pins inserted, from falling off
They consisted of naves, spokes, which varied much in number, the felly, or
wooden circumference, made of elastic wood, such as the poplar and wild fig, and
composed of several segments united, and the tire, which was of metal. Some of
their carts and waggons had wheels made of a solid circle of wood, in shape like
a millstone, with the axle running through the middle. Similar wheels are used
in the south of Europe at the present day.
Sc. III.
443
THE CAPTIVES.
make use of me; either this way or that can I be turned,
whichever way you shall command me.
HEG. You yourself profit the most from your own dis-
position, when you endure slavery just as it ought to be
endured. Follow me. (To TYNDARUS.) See here's your man.
TYND. I return you thanks, since you give me this oppor-
tunity and permission to send this messenger to my parents,
who may relate all the matter in its order to my father,
what I'm doing here, and what I wish to be done. (To
PHILOCRATES.) Now, Tyndarus, thus is it arranged between
myself and him, that I'm to send you, valued at a fixed price,
to my father in Elis; so that, if you don't return hither, I'm
to give twenty minæ for you.
PHIL. I think that you've come to a right understand-
ing. For your father expects either myself or some mes-
senger to come from here to him.
TYND. I wish you, then, to mind what message it is I want
you to carry hence to my country to my father.
PHIL. Philocrates, as up to this moment I have done, I
will take all due care to endeavour that which may espe-
cially conduce to your interest, and to pursue the same with
heart and soul, and with my ears.
TYND. You act just as you ought to act; now I wish you
to give attention. In the first place of all, carry my re-
spects to my mother and my father, and to my relations, and
if any one else you see well-disposed towards me: say that I
am in health here, and that I am a slave, in servitude to this
most worthy man, who has ever honored me more and more
with his respect, and does so still.
PHIL. Don't you be instructing me as to that; I can, still,
easily bear that in mind.
TYND. For, indeed, except that I have a keeper, I deem
myself to be a free man. Tell my father on what terms I
have agreed with this party about his son.
PHIL. What I remember, it is sheer delay to be putting me
in mind of.
TYND. To redeem him, and to send him back here in ex-
change for both of us.
PILL. I'll remember it. HEG. But as soon as he can
that is especially to the interest of us both.
414
Act IL.
CAPTIVI;
PHIL. You are not more anxious to see your son, than he
is to see his.
HEG. My son is dear to myself, and his own to every man.
PHIL. (to TYNDARUS). Do you wish other message to
be carried to your father?
any
TYND. Say that I am well here; and do you boldly tell
him, Tyndarus, that we have been of dispositions for unin-
terrupted harmony between ourselves, and that you have
neither been deserving of censure, nor that I have proved
your enemy; and that still, amid miseries so great, you have:
shown implicit obedience to your master, and that you have
never abandoned me, either in deed or in fidelity, amid my
wavering, unprosperous fortunes. When my father shall know
this, Tyndarus, how well-disposed you have proved towards
his son and himself, he will never be so avaricious but that
he'll give you your liberty for nothing. And by my own.
endeavours, if I return hence, I'll make him do so the more
readily. For by your aid and kindness, and good disposition
and prudence, you have caused me to be allowed to return
to my parents once again, inasmuch as to Hegio you have
confessed both my rank and my wealth; by means of which,
through your wisdom, you have liberated your master from
his chains.
PHIL. The things which you mention I have done, and I
am pleased that you remember this. Deservedly have they
been done for you by me; for now, Philocrates, if I, too, were
to mention the things that you have kindly done for me, the
night would cut short the day. For, had you been my slave
even, no otherwise were you always obliging to me.
HEG. Ye Gods, by our trust in you! behold the kindly dis-
position of these persons! How they draw the very tears
from me! See how cordially they love each other, and with
what praises the servant has commended his master.
PHIL. I' troth, he hasn't commended me the one hun-
dredth part of what he himself deserves to be commended in
my praises.
HEG. (to PHILOCRATES). Since, then, you have acted most
becomingly, now there's an opportunity to add to your good
deeds in managing this matter with fidelity towards him.
PHIL. I am not able more to wish it done, than by my en-
Sc. III.
413
THE CAPTIV] S.
deavours to try to bring it about. That you may
That you may know this,
Hegio, with praises do I call supreme Jove to witness that I
will not prove unfaithful to Philocrates¹
HEG. You are a worthy fellow. PHIL. And that I will
never in anything act otherwise towards him than towards
my own self.
TYND. I wish you to put these speeches to the test, both
by your deeds and your actions; and inasmuch as I have said
the less about you than I had wished, I wish you the more
to give me your attention, and take you care not to be angry
with me by reason of these words. But, I beseech you, re-
flect that you are sent hence home with a price set upon
you at my risk, and that my life is here left as a pledge for
you. Do not you forget me the very moment that you
have left my presence, since you will have left me here
behind a captive in captivity for yourself, and don't consider
yourself as free, and forsake your pledge, and not use your
endeavours for you to bring his son home again, in return
for me.
Understand that you are sent hence valued at
twenty minæ. Take care to prove scrupulously faithful; take
care that you show not a wavering fidelity. For my father,
I am sure, will do everything that he ought to do. Preserve
me as a constant friend to you, and find out this person so
lately discovered. These things, by your right hand, holding
you with my own right hand, do I beg of you; do not prove
less true to me than I have proved to you. This matter do you
attend to; you are now my master, you my patron, you my
father; to you do I commend my hopes and my fortunes.
PHIL. You have given injunctions enough. Are you satis-
fied if I bring back accomplished what you have enjoined ?
TYND. Satisfied. PHIL. (to IIEGIO). According to your
wishes, and (to TYNDARUS) according to yours, will I return
hither provided. Is there anything else?
1 Unfaithful to Philocrates)-Ver. 432. Philocrates might very safely take an
oath to Hegio, that he would not prove unfaithful to himself.
2 Forsake your pledge)—Ver. 441. Alluding to himself being left behind, and a
surety for his speedy return.
"Do
3 And find out)-Ver. 446. "Atque hunc inventum invoni." Some would
render this, "And find this person still as you have found him," making it allude
to Hegio; it seems, however, rather to apply to the son of Hegio, and to mean,
you seek out this person whom we have found out to be in the possession of the
physician, Menarchus."
446
Act III
CAPTIVT;
TYND. For you to return back as soon as ever you can.
PHIL. The business itself reminds me of that.
HEG. (to PHILOCRATES). Follow me, that I may give you
your expenses for the journey at my banker's; on the same
occasion I'll get a passport from the Prætor.
TYND. What passport¹? HEG. For him to take with him
hence to the army, that he may be allowed to go home from
here. (To TYNDARUS.) You go in-doors.
TYND. Speed you well. PHIL. Right heartily, farewell.
(TYNDARUS goes into the house.)
HEG. (aside). I' faith, I compassed my design, when I
purchased these men of the Quaestors out of the spoil. I
have released my son from slavery, if so it pleases the Gods;
and yet I hesitated a long time whether I should purchase
or should not purchase these persons. Watch that man in-
doors, if you please, you servants, that he may nowhere move
a foot without a guard. I shall soon make my appearance
at home; now I'm going to my brother's, to see my other
captives; at the same time I'll enquire whether any one
knows this young man. (To PHILOCRATES.) Do you follow,
that I may despatch you. I wish attention first to be paid
to that matter.
(Exeunt.
ACT III. SCENE I.
Enter ERGASIlus.
ERG. Wretched is that man who is in search of some-
thing to eat, and finds that with difficulty; but more wretched
is he who both seeks with difficulty, and finds nothing at all;
most wretched is he, who, when he desires to eat, has not
that which he may eat. But, by my faith, if I only could, I'd
willingly tear out the eyes of this day; with such enmity
has it filled all people towards me. One more starved out I
1 What passport?)--Ver. 454. Being conscious of the trick which they are
playing on the worthy old man, Tyndarus shows some alarm on hearing a pass-
port, or "syngraphus," mentioned. Commentators are at a loss to know why
he should express such alarm. It is difficult to say, but, probably, as there was in
the passport a description of the bearer, who would be Philocrates under the name
of Tyndarus, it suddenly comes to the recollection of Tyndarus that they were
originally made prisoners under their proper names, and that possibly Philocrates
may be recognized as attempting to pass under an assumed name.
Sc. 1.
447
THE CAPTIVES.
never did see, nor one more filled with hunger¹, nor one who
prospers less in whatever he begins to do. So much do my
stomach and my throat take rest on these fasting holidays2.
Away with the profession of a Parasite to very utter and
extreme perdition! so much in these days do the young men
drive away from them the needy drolls. They care nothing
now-a-days for these Laconian men³ of the lowest benches-
these whipping-posts, who have their clever sayings without
provision and without money. They now-a-days seek those
who, when they've eaten at their pleasure, may give them a
return at their own houses. They go themselves to market,
which formerly was the province of the Parasites. They go
themselves from the Forum to the procurers with face as ex-
posed as the magistrates in court, with face exposed, condemn
those who are found guilty; nor do they now value buffoons at
one farthing; all are so much in love with themselves. For,
when, just now, I went away from here, I came to some young
men in the Forum: "Good morrow," said 1; "whither are
we going together to breakfast ?" On this, they were silent.
1 Filled with hunger)-Ver. 471. This paradoxical expression is similar to the
one used in the Aulularia, 1. 45, “inaniis oppletæ," "filled with emptiness."
2 Fasting holidays)-Ver. 473. He means to say, that as on feast days and
holidays people abstain from work, so at present his teeth and stomach have no
employment.
3 These Laconian men)-Ver. 476. The Parasites, when there was not room
for them on the " triclinia," or "couches" at table, were forced to sit on "subsellia,"
or "benches," at the bottom of the table. This was like the custom of the
Spartans, or Laconians, who, eschewing the luxury of reclining, always persisted
sitting at meals. The Spartans, also, endured pain with the greatest firmness;
virtue much required by Parasites, in order to put up with the indignities which
hey had to endure from the guests, who daubed their faces, broke pots about
their heads, and boxed their ears.
4 With face as exposed)—Ver. 480. People, with any sense of decency, would
resort to these places either in masks, or with a hood thrown over the face.
5 In court)-Ver. 481. "In tribu." He alludes to the trials which took place
before the Roman people in the "Comitia Tributa," or "assemblies of the tribes,"
where the Tribunes and Ediles acted as the accusers. The offences for which
persons were summoned before the tribes, were, bad conduct of a magistrate in per-
formance of his duties, neglect of duty, mismanagement of a war, embezzlement of
the public money, breaches of the peace, usury, adultery, and some other crimes.
The "Comitia Tributa" were used as courts of appeal, when a person protested
against a fine imposed by a magistrate.
• At one farthing)-Ver. 482. Literally, "at a teruncius," which was a small
coin among the Romans, containing three " unciæ,"
"twelfth parts
W or ont
quarter of the "as," which we generally take as equivalent to a penny.
$48
Act III.
CAPTIVI;
me.
"Who says, 'here, at my house,' or who makes an offer ?" said
I. Just like dumb men, they were silent, and didn't smile at
"Where do we dine ?" said I. On this they declined.
said one funny saying out of my best bon mots, by which I
formerly used to get feasting for a month; not an individual
smiled; at once I knew that the matter was arranged by con-
cert. Not even one was willing to imitate a dog when pro-
voked; if they didn't laugh, they might, at least, have grinned
with their teeth¹. From them I went away, after I saw that
I was thus made sport of. I went to some others; then to
some others I came; then to some others--the same the result.
All treat the matter in confederacy, just like the oil-mer-
chants in the Velabrum². Now, I've returned thence, since
I see myself made sport of there. In like manner do other
Parasites walk to and fro, to no purpose, in the Forum.
Now, after the foreign fashion³, I'm determined to enforce
all my rights. Those who have entered into a confederacy, by
which to deprive us of food and life, for them I'll name a day.
I'll demand, as the damages, that they shall give me ten din-
ners at my own option, when provisions are dear: thus will I
¹ Grinned with their teeth)-Ver. 491. That is, by showing their teeth and grin-
ning. This is not unlike the expression used in the Psalms (according to the
translation in our Liturgy)-Ps. lix., ver. 6—" They grin like a dog and run
about through the city."
2 In the Velabrum)-Ver. 494. The "Via Nova," or "New Street," at Rome,
led from the interior of the city to the "Velabra." The greater and the less
"Velabrum" lay between the Palatine and the Capitoline Hills, where fruits and
other commodities were sold in booths, or under awnings, from which (“vela”) the
streets probably derived their name. Varro, however, says that they were so called
from the verb "veho," "to carry;" because in early times those spots were tra-
versed in boats, which mode of carriage was called "velatura." From the present
passage, it appears that the oil-merchants in the "Velabra" acted in confederacy
not to sell their oils under a certain price.
* After the foreign fashion)-Ver. 497. Some suppose that "barbaricâ lege"
nere means "the foreign" or "Roman law," and that he refers to the "Lex
Vinnia, introduced at Rome by Quintus Vinnius, which was said to have beer.
passed against those persons who confederated for the purpose of keeping up the
high prices of provisions. It is, however, somewhat doubtful if there really was
such a law; and the better opinion seems to be that the word "lege" means
"fashion" or "custom ;" and that he refers to the Roman method of trial. He wil
accuse his former entertainers of a conspiracy to starve him. He will name a day
for trial," diem dicet;" he will demand damages or a penalty, "irrogabit mulc-
tam;" and thus will he proceed at law against them, "sic egerit." Rost has
written at great length on the meaning of this passage.
Sc. III.
449
THE CAPTIVES.
do. Now I'll go hence to the harbour. There, is my only
hope of a dinner; if that shall fail me, I'l return here to the
old gentleman, to his unsavoury dinner.
SCENE II.-Enter HEGIO and ARISTOPHONTES.
2
HEG. (to himself). What is there more delightful than to
manage one's own interests well for the public good¹, just
as I did yesterday, when I purchased these men. Every
person, as they see me, comes to meet me, and congratulates
ine on this matter. By thus stopping and detaining un-
lucky_me, they've made me quite tired. With much ado
have I survived from being congratulated, to my misfortune.
At last, to the Prætor did I get. There, scarcely did I rest
myself. I asked for a passport; it was given me: at once I
delivered it to Tyndarus. He started for home. Thence,
straightway, after that was done, I passed by my house; and
I went at once to my brother's, where my other captives are.
I asked about Philocrates from Elis, whether any one of
them all knew the person. This man (pointing to ARISTO-
PHONTES) called out that he had been his intimate friend; I
told him that he was at my house. At once he besought
and entreated me that I would permit him to see him.
Forthwith I ordered him to be released from chains. Thence
have I come. (To ARISTOPHONTES.) Now, do you follow
me, that you may obtain what you have besought of me, the
opportunity of meeting with this person. (They go into the
house.)
SCENE III.-Enter TYNDARUS, from the house.
TYND. Now stands the matter so, that I would much rather
that I had once existed, than that I still exist; now do my
hopes, my resources, and my succour, desert me and spurn
themselves. This is that day, when, for my life, no safety
can be hoped; nor yet is death my end; nor hope is there,
¹ For the public good)-Ver. 504. It is possible that he may here refer to his
purchase of Philocrates, whose high position among the Eleans would probably
tend, on his return to his native country, to promote peace between it and the
people of Ætolia.
2 With much ado have I survived)-Ver. 513. "Vx-eminebam." Literally,
"I hardly kept myself above" water. He means that he was almost overpowered
Dy the crowds of people congratulating him.
20
450
Act III
CAFTIVI;
n fact, to dispel this fear for me; nor cloak have I anywhere
for my deceitful stratagems; nor for my devices or my sub-
terfuges is there anywhere a screen presented to me. No de-
precating is there for my perfidy; no means of flight for my
offences. No refuge is there anywhere for my trusting; and
no escape for my cunning schemes. What was concealed is now
exposed; my plans are now divulged. The whole matter
is now laid open; nor is there any ado about this matter,
but that I must perish outright, and meet with destruction,
both on behalf of my master and myself. This Aristophontes
has proved my ruin, who has just now come into the house.
He knows me. He is the intimate friend and kinsman of
Philocrates. Not Salvation herself can save me now, even
if she wishes; nor have I any means of escape, unless, per-
chance, I devise some artifice in my mind. (He meditates.)
Plague on it!-how? What can I contrive?—what can I
think of? Some very great folly and trifling I shall have to
begin with. I'm quite at a loss. (He retires aside.)
1
繡
​SCENE IV. Enter HEGIO, ARISTOPHONTES, and SLAVES,
from the house.
HEG. Whither am I to say, now, that this man has be..
taken himself from the house out of doors?
TYND. (apart). Now, for a very certainty, I'm done for;
the enemies are coming to you, Tyndarus! What shall I
say ? what shall I talk of? What shall I deny, or what
confess? All matters are reduced to uncertainty. How
shall I place confidence in my resources? I wish the Gods
had destroyed you, before you were lost to your own country,
Aristophontes, who, from a plot well concerted, are making
it disconcerted. This plan is ruined outright, unless I find
out for myself some extremely bold device.
HEG. (to ARISTOPHONTES). Follow me. See, there is the
man; go to him and address him.
1 Not Salvation herself)-Ver. 535. This was a proverbial expression among
the Romans. "Salus," "Safety" or "Salvation," was worshipped as a Goddess
at Rome. It is well observed, in Thornton's translation, that the word "Salus"
may, without ireverence, be translated "Salvation," on no less authority than
that of Archbishop Tillotson. "If," says he, "men will continue in their sins,
the redemption brought by Christ will be of no advantage to them; such as obsti-
nately persist in an impenitent course," "ipsa si velit Salus, servare non potest,
"Salvation itself cannot save them."
Sc. IV.
451
THE CAPTIVES.
TYND (cside, and turning away). What mortal among mor-
tals is there more wretched than myself?
ARIST. (coming up to him). Why's this, that I'm to say
that you are avoiding my gaze, Tyndarus? And why that
you are slighting me as a stranger, as though you had never
known me? Why, I'm as much a slave as yourself; although
at home I was a free man, you, even from your childhood,
have always served in slavery in Elis.
HEG. I' faith, I'm very little surprised, if either he does
avoid your gaze, or if he does shun you, who are calling him
Tyndarus, instead of Philocrates.
TYND. Hegio, this person was accounted a madman in
Elis. Don't you give ear to what he prates about; for at
home he has pursued his father and mother with spears, and
that malady sometimes comes upon him which is spit out¹.
Do you this instant stand away at a distance from him.
HEd. (to the SLAVES). Away with him further off from me.
ARIST. Do you say, you whipp'd knave, that I am mad,
and do you declare that I have followed my own father with
spears? And that I have that malady, that it's necessary for
nie to be spit upon??
แ
1 Which is spit out)—Ver. 566. Some would render the words "qui sputatur,'
"which is spit upon," and fancy that they find authorities in the ancient writers for
thinking that epilepsy was treated by spitting upon the patient. However, it seems
much more probable, that the notion was that epilepsy was cured by the patient
himself spitting out the noxious saliva; and that the word "sputatur" means, “is
spit out," i. e. is cured by spitting." Celsus thus describes the " comitialis mor-
bus," ""epilepsy," or "falling sickness:" "The person seized, suddenly falls down ;
foam drops from the mouth; then, after a little time, he comes to himself, and
gets up again without any assistance." Pliny, in his Natural History, B. 38,
c. 4, says: Despuimus comitiales morbos, hoc est, contagia regerimus," "We
spit out the epilepsy, that is, we avert the contagion." This is said, probably, in
reference to a belief, that on seeing an epileptic person, if we spit, we shall avoid
the contagion; but it by no means follows that the person so doing must spit apon
the epileptic person. We read in the first Book of Samuel, ch. xxi., ver. 12:
"And David laid up these words in his heart, and was sore afraid of Achish, the
King of Gath. And he changed his behaviour before them, and feigned himself
mad in their hands, and scrabbled on the doors of the gate, and let his spittle fall
down on his beard." He probably pretended to be attacked with epileptic fits.
In fact, after due examination, there seems little doubt that it was a common
notion with the ancients that the distemper was discharged with the saliva.
2 To be spit upon)—Ver. 559. Aristophontes has understood the words, "qui
sputatur," in the sense of "which is spit upon," and asks Tyndarus if he affirms
that he is afflicted with a disease which requires such treatment. Hegio, to pacify
2 & 2
452
Act III.
CAPTIVI;
HEG. Don't be dismayed; that malady afflicts many a
person to whom it has proved wholesome to be spit upon, and
has been of service to them.
ARIST. Why, what do you say? Do you, too, credit him?
HEG. Credit him in what? ARIST. That I am mad?
TYND. Do you see him, with what a furious aspect he's
looking at you? 'Twere best to retire, Hegio; it is as I said,
his frenzy grows apace; have a care for yourself.
HEG. I thought that he was mad, the moment that he
called you Tyndarus.
TYND. Why, he's sometimes ignorant of his own name,
and doesn't know what it is.
HEG. But he even said that you were his intimate friend.
TYND. So far from that, I never saw him. Why, really,
Alemæon, and Orestes, and Lycurgus¹ besides, are my friends.
on the same principle that he is.
ARIST. Villain, and do you dare speak ill of me, as well?
Do I not know you?
HEG. I' faith, it really is very clear that you don't know
him, who are calling him Tyndarus, instead of Philocrates.
Him whom you see, you don't know; you are addressing him
as the person whom you don't see.
him, and to show off his medical knowledge, tells him that it has proved beneficial
in some diseases to be so treated; but he does not go so far as to say what those
diseases were. One malady, called "herpes," or "spreading ulcer," was said tc
be highly contagious, but capable of being cured by applications of saliva. Some
Commentators here quote the method which our Saviour adopted in curing the
blind man at Bethsaida: "And he took the blind man by the hand, and led him
out of the town: and when he had spat on his eyes and put his hands upon him,
he asked him if he saw aught." St. Mark, ch. viii., ver. 23. And again, the ac-
count given in the ninth chapter of St. John, ver. 6: "When he had thus spoken,
he spat on the ground, and made clay of the spittle, and he anointed the eyes of
the blind man with the clay." It may be possible that our Saviour thought fit to
adopt these forms, in imitation of some of the methods of treating diseases in those
times; though, of course, his transcendant power did not require their agency
Rost, in his Commentaries on Plautus, has a very learned disquisition on the
meaning of the present passage.
1 Alemæon, and Orestes, and Lycurgus)—Ver. 568. He alludes to these three
persons as being three of the most celebrated men of antiquity that were at-
tacked with frenzy. Orestes slew his mother, Clytemnestra; Alemæon killed
his mother, Eriphyle; and Lycurgus, King of Thrace, on slighting the worship of
Bacchus, was afflicted with madness, in a fit of which he hewed off his own legs
with a hatchet.
Sc. IV.
453
THE CAPTIVES.
ARIST. On the contrary this fellow's saying that he is the
person who he is not; and he says that he is not the person
who he really is.
TYND. You've been found, of course, to excel Philocrates
in truthfulness.
ARIST. By my troth, as I understand the matter, you've
been found to brazen out the truth by lying. But i̇' faith,
prithee, come then, look at me.
TYND. (looking at him). Well! ARIST. Say, now; do you
deny that you are Tyndarus?
TYND. I do deny it, I say.
ARIST. Do you say that you are Philocrates?
TYND. I do say so, I say.
ARIST. (to HEGIO). And do you believe him?
HEG. More, indeed, than either you or myself.
For he,
.n fact, who you say that he is (pointing to TYNDARUS), ha
set out hence to-day for Elis, to this person's father.
ARIST, What father, when he's a slave¹.
TYND. And so are you a slave, and yet you were a free
man; and I trust that so I shall be, if I restore his son here
to liberty.
ARIST. How say you, villain? Do you say that you were
born a free man [liber]?
TYND. I really do not say that I am Liber², but that I am
Philocrates.
ARIST. How's this? How this scoundrel, Iegio, is making
sport of you now. For he's a slave himself, and never, except
his own self, had he a slave.
TYND. Because you yourself are destitute in your own
country, and haven't whereon to live at home, you wish all to
be found like to yourself; you don't do anything surprising.
"Tis the nature of the distressed to be ill-disposed, and to
envy the fortunate.
¹ When he's a slave)—Ver. 580. Slaves were not considered to have any legal
existence; and, therefore, to have neither parents or relations.
2 That I am Liber)—Ver. 584. Aristophontes asks him if he means to assert
that he was born a free man, "liber." As "Liber" was also a name of Bacchus,
Tyndarus quibbles, and says, "I did not assert that I am Liber, but that I am Phi-
locrates." In consequence of the idiom of the Latin language, his answer (nor
equidem me Liberum, sed Philocratem esse aio) will admit of another quibble,
and may be read as meaning, "I did not say that I am a free man, but that
Philocrates is." This may be readily seen by the Latin scholar, but is not so easily
explained to the English reader
454
Act IIL:
CAPTIVI ;
ARIST. Hegio, take you care, please, that you don't persist
in rashly placing confidence in this man; for sc far as I see,
he is certainly now putting some device in execution, in
saying that he is redeeming your son from captivity; that
is by no means satisfactory to me.
TYND. I know that you don't wish that to be done; still I
shall effect it, if the Gods assist me. I shall bring him back
here, and he will restore me to my father, in Elis. For that
purpose have I sent Tyndarus hence to my father.
ARIST. Why, you yourself are he; nor is there any slave
in Elis of that name, except yourself.
TYND. Do you persist in reproaching me with being a slave
-a thing that has befallen me through the fortune of war?
ARIST. Really, now, I cannot contain myself.
TYND. (to HEGIO). Ha! don't you hear him? Why don't
you take to flight? He'll be pelting us just now with
stones there, unless you order him to be seized.
ARIST. I'm distracted. TYND. His eyes strike fire; there's
need of a rope, Hegio. Don't you see how his body is
spotted all over with livid spots ? Black bilel is disordering
the man.
ARIST. And, by my faith, if this old gentleman is wise,
black pitch will be disordering you with the executioner,
and giving a light to your head.
TYND. He's now talking in his fit of delirium; sprites are
in possession of the man.
HEG. By my troth, suppose I order him to be seized?
TYND. You would be acting more wisely.
ARIST. I'm vexed that I haven't a stone, to knock out the
1 Black bile)-Ver. 602. A superabundance of the bile was supposed to be pro-
ductive of melancholy madness. The word "melancholy" is from the Greek
μελαγχολιά, “ black bile.”
2 Black pitch)-Ver. 603. He alludes to a frightful punishment inflicted upon
malefactors by the Romans. They were either smeared over with burning pitch,
or were first covered with pitch, which was then set fire to. This punish-
ment is supposed to have been often inflicted upon the early Christians. Juvena
alludes to it in his First Satire, l. 155:
Pone Tigellinum, tædâ lucebis in illâ,
Quâ stantes ardent, qui fixo gutture famant.
Describe Tigellinus [an infamous minister of Nero], and you shall give a light
by those torches, in which those stand and burn who send forth smoke with a
gtake driven into their throat."
Se. IV.
455
THE CAPTIVES.
brains of that whip-scoundrel, who's driving me to madness.
by his taunts.
TYND. Don't you hear that he's looking for a stone?
ARIST. I wish to speak with you alone, separately,
Hegio.
HEG. Speak from where you are, if you want anything;
though at a distance, I shall hear you.
TYND. Yes, for, by my faith, if you approach nearer, he'll
be taking your nose off with his teeth.
ARIST. By heavens, Hegio, don't you believe that I am
mad, or that I ever was so, or that I have the malady which
that fellow avers. But if you fear anything from me, order
me to be bound; I wish it, so long as that fellow is bound
as well.
TYND. Why really, Hegio, rather let him be bound that
wishes it.
ARIST. Now hold your tongue! I'll make you, you false
Philocrates, to be found out this day to be a real Tyndarus.
Why are you making signs at me?
TYND. I, making signs at you? (TO HEGIO.) What would
he do, if you were at a greater distance off?
HEG. What do you say? What if I approach this mad-
man ?
TYND. Nonsense; you'll be made a fool of; he'll be pra-
ting stuff, to you, neither the feet nor the head of which will
ever be visible. The dress only is wanting; in seeing this
man, you behold Ajax himself.
HEG. I don't care; still I'll approach him. (Advances to
ARISTOPHONTES.)
TYND. (aside). Now am I utterly undone; now between
means,
1 Why are you making signs)Ver. 617. " Abnutas." The verb "abnuto"
to nod to a person that he may desist." Tyndarus thinks that by this
time Aristophontes must surely understand the plan that has been devised for
the escape of Philocrates; and, as he is about to step aside to speak with Hegio,
he makes a sign, requesting him to stop short in his contradiction of what he has
asserted.
2 The dress only)-Ver. 620. By "ornamenta" he means the dress of Tragedy.
The dresses of Comedy were essentially different from those of Tragedy. He means
to say,
"the man is mad; if he had only the Tragic garb on, you might take him
for Ajax Telamon in his frenzy." On being refused the arnis of Achilles, Ajax
became mad, and slaughtered a flock of sheep fancying that they were Ulyssos
and the sons of Atreus.
456
Act IIL
CAPTIVI;
the sacrifice and tae stone¹ do I stand, nor know I what
to do.
HEG. I lend you my attention, Aristophontes, if there is
anything that you would wish with me.
ARIST. From me you shall hear that truth, which now you
think to be false, Hegio. But I wish, in the first place, to
clear myself from this with you-that madness does not pos-
sess me, and that I have no malady, except that I am in
captivity; and, so may the King of Gods and of men make
me to regain my native land, that fellow there is no more
Philocrates than either I or you.
HEG. Come, then, tell me who he is?
ARIST. He whom I've told you all along from the begin-
ning. If you shall find him any other than that person, I
show no cause why I shouldn't suffer the loss with you
both of my parents and of my liberty for ever.
HEG. (to TYNDARUS). What say you to this?
TYND. That I am your slave, and you my master.
HEG. I didn't ask that were you a free man?
TYND. I was. ARIST. But he really wasn't; he is de-
ceiving you.
TYND. How do you know? Were you, perchance, the mid-
wife of my mother, since you dare to affirm this so boldly?
ARIST. When a boy, I saw yourself, a boy.
TYND. But, grown up, I now see you grown up; so,
there's for you, in return. If you did right, you wouldn't
be troubling yourself about my concerns; do I trouble my-
self about yours?
HEG. Was his father called Thesaurochrysonicocræsides ?
ARIST. He was not; and I never heard that name before
this day. Theodoromedes was the father of Philocrates.
TYND. (aside). I'm downright undone. Why don't you
be quiet, heart of mine? Go and be stretched, and hang your-
self; you are throbbing so, that unfortunate I can hardly
stand up for fear.
my
HEG. Is a full assurance given me that this was a slave in
Elis, and that he is not Philocrates ?
¹ The sacrifice and the stone)—Ver. 624. We learn from Livy, that in the most
ancient times the animal for sacrifice was killed by being struck with a stone; to
stand between the victim and the stone, would consequently imply, to be in a posi
tion of extreme danger.
Sc. IV.
457
THE CAPTIVES.
ARIST. So fully, that you will never find this to be other-
wise; but where is hel now?
HEG. Where I the least, and he the most could wish him-
self. In consequence, then, I'm cut asunder², disjointed, to
my sorrow, by the devices of this scoundrel, who has bam-
boozled me by his tricks just as he has thought fit. But do,
please, have a care that you are right.
ARIST. Why, I assure you of this, as an ascertained and
established fact.
HEG. For certain? ARIST. Why, nothing, I say, will you
find more certain than this certainty. Philocrates, from when
a boy, has ever since that time been my friend.
HEG. But of what appearance is your friend Philocrates ?
ARIST. I'll tell you: with a thin face, sharp nose, light hair,
dark eyes, somewhat ruddy, with hair rather crisp and curling.
HEG. The description is like. TYND. (aside). Aye, so much
so, indeed, that I've this day, much to my sorrow, got into
the midst of this, i' faith. Woe to those unfortunate rods
which this day will be meeting their end upon my back.
HEG. I see that I've been imposed upon.
TYND. (aside). Why, fetters, do you delay to run towards
me and to embrace my legs, that I may have you in custody?
HEG. And have these two rascally captives really deceived
me this day with their tricks? The other one pretended
that he was the servant, and this one that he himself was the
master. I've lost the kernel; for a security, I've left the
shell. To such a degree have they imposed upon me³, both
on this side and that, with their trickeries. Still, this fellow
shall never have the laugh against me. Colaphus, Cordalio,
Corax¹ (to the SLAVES), go you away and bring out the thongs.
¹ But where is he)—Ver. 645. Tyndarus has probably betaken himself to some
corner of the stage, and Aristophontes misses him from his former position.
2 Cut asunder)—Ver. 646. “Deruncinatus" means, literally, cut asunder with
a "runcina," or แ saw."
3 Have they imposed upon me)-Ver. 661. "Os sublevere offuciis." Literaily
"painted my face with varnish." This expression is probably derived from the
practice of persons concealing their defects, by painting over spots or freckles in
the face for the purpose of hiding them.
• Colaphus, Cordalio, Corax)-Ver. 662. These are the names of slave.
Colaphus" means, also, "a blow with the fist." "Corax" was the Greek came
for a "crow," and was probably given to a black slave.
458
Act III
CAPTIVI;
SLAVE. Are we to be sent to gather faggots¹? (The SLAVES
go and bring the thongs from the house.)
SCENE V.-HEGIO, TYNDARUS, ARISTOPHONTES, and
SLAVES.
HEG. (to the SLAVES). Put the manacles on this whipp'd
villain.
TYND. (whilst the SLAVES are fastening him). What's the
matter? What have I done wrong?
HEG. Do you ask the question? You weeder and sower
of villanies, and in especial their reaper.
TYND. Ought you not to have ventured to say the harrower
first? For countrymen always harrow before they weed.
HEG. Why, with what assurance he stands before me.
TYND. It's proper for a servant, innocent and guiltless, to
be full of confidence, most especially before his master.
HEG. (to the SLAVES). Bind this fellow's hands tightly,
will you.
TYND. 1 am your own-do you command them to be cut
off even.
But what is the matter on account of which you
blame me?
HEG. Because me and my fortunes, so far as in you singly
lay, by your rascally and knavish stratagems you have rent
in pieces, and have distracted my affairs and spoiled all my
resources and my plans, in that you've thus robbed me of
Philocrates by your devices. I thought that he was the slave,
you the free man. So did you say yourselves, and in this way
did you change names between you.
TYND. I confess that all was done so, as you say, and that
by a stratagem he has got away from you, through my aid
and cleverness; and prithee, now, do you blame me for that,
i' faith?
HEG. Why, it has been done with your extreme torture
for the consequence.
TYND. So I don't die by reason of my misdeeds, I care but
little. If I do die here, then he returns not, as he said
he would; but when I'm dead, this act will be remembered
to my honor, that I caused my captive master to return
from slavery and the foe, a free man, to his father in his native
¹ To gather faggots)—Ver. 663. He asks this questic tecause cords, “lora,”
were necessary for the purpose of binding up faggots.
Sc. V. ·
459
THE CAPTIVES.
land; and that I preferred rather to expose my own life to
peril, than that he should be undone.
HEG. Take care, then, to enjoy that fame at Acheron.
TYND. He who dies for virtue's sake, still does not perish.
HEG. When I've tortured you in the most severe man-
ner, and for your schemes put you to death, let them say
either that you have perished or that you have died; so long
as you do die, I don't think it matters if they say you live.
TYND. I' faith, if you do do so, you'll do it not without retri-
bution, if he shall return here, as I trust that he will return.
ARIST. (aside). O ye immortal Gods! I understand it
now; now I know what the case really is.
My friend
Philocrates is at liberty with his father, in his native land.
'Tis well; nor have I any person to whom I could so
readily wish well. But this thing grieves me, that I've done
this person a bad turn, who now on account of me and my
talking is in chains.
HEG. (to TYNDARUS). Did I not forbid you this day to
utter anything false to me?
TYND. You did forbid me. HEG. Why did you dare to
tell me lies ?
TYND. Because the truth would have prejudiced him whom
I was serving; now falsehood has advantaged him.
HEG. But it will prejudice yourself.
TYND. 'Tis very good. Still, I have saved my master, whom
I rejoice at being saved, to whom my elder master had as-
signed me as a protector. But do you think that this was
wrongly done?
HEG. Most wrongfully. TYND. But I, who disagree with
you, say, rightly. For consider, if any slave of yours had
done this for your son, what thanks you would have given
him. Would you have given that slave his freedom or not?
Would not that slave have been in highest esteem with you?
Answer me that.
HEG. I think so. TYND. Why, then, are you angry with me?
HEG. Because you have proved more faithful to him than
to myself.
TYND. How now? Did you expect, in a single night and
day, for yourself to teach me-a person just made captive, a
recent slave, and in his noviciate that I should rather con-
sult your interest than his, with whom from childhood I
have passed my life?
460
Act III.
CAPTIVI;
HEG. Seek, then, thanks from him for that. (To the
SLAVES.) Take him where he may receive weighty and thick
fetters, thence, after that, you shall go to the quarries for
cutting stone. There, while the others are digging out
eight stones, unless you daily do half as much work again,
you shall have the name of the six-hundred-stripe man¹.
ARIST. By Gods and men, I do entreat you, Hegio, not to
destroy this man.
HEG. He shall be taken all care of2. For at night, fastened
with chains, he shall be watched; in the daytime, beneath
the ground, he shall be getting out stone. For many a day
will I torture him; I'll not respite him for a single day.
ARIST. Is that settled by you? HEG. Not more settled
that I shall die. (To the SLAVES.) Take him away this instant
to Hippolytus, the blacksmith; bid thick fetters to be ri-
vetted on him. From there let him be led outside the gate
to my freedman, Cordalus, at the stone-quarries. And tell
him that I desire this man so to be treated, that he mayn't
be in any respect worse off than he who is the most severely
treated.
TYND. Why, since you are unwilling, do I desire myself to
survive? At your own hazard is the risk of my life. After
death, no evil have I to apprehend in death. Though I
should live even to extreme age, still, short is the space for
enduring what you threaten me with. Farewell and prosper;
although you are deserving for me to say otherwise. You,
Aristophontes, as you have deserved of me, so fare you; for
on your account has this befallen me.
HEG. (to the SLAVES). Carry him off.
TYND. But this one thing I beg, that, if Philocrates should
come back here, you will give me an opportunity of meeting
him.
HEG. (to the SLAVES). At your peril, if you don't this in-
stant remove him from my sight. (The SLAVES lay hold of
TYNDARUS, and push him along.)
¹ Six-hundred-stripe man)-Ver. 731. "Sexcentoplago." This is a compound
word, coined by the author.
2 He shall be taken all care of)-Ver. 733. Struck with admiration at his
fidelity, Aristophontes begs Hegio not to destroy Tyndarus. As the verb "perduis"
might also mean "lose" him, Hegio ironically takes it in the latter sense, and says
that there is no fear of that, for he shall be well taken care of; or, in other
words, strictly watched.
Sc. VI.
461
THE CAPTIVES.
TYND. I' troth, this really is violence¹, to be both dragged
and pushed at the same time. (He is borne off by the
SLAVES.)
SCENE VI. HEGIO and ARISTOPHONTES.
HEG. He has been led off straight to prison, as he de-
serves. Let no one presume to attempt such an enterprise.
Had it not been for you who discovered this to me, still would
they have been leading me by the bridle with their tricks.
Now am I resolved henceforth never to trust any person in
anything. This once I have been deceived enough; I did
hope, to my sorrow, that I had rescued my son from slavery.
That hope has forsaken me. I lost one son, whom, a child
in his fourth year, a slave stole from me; and, indeed, never
since have I found either slave or son; the elder one has
fallen in the hands of the enemy. What guilt is this of mine?
As though I had become the father of children for the purpose
of being childless. (To ARISTOPHONTES.) Follow this way.
I'll conduct you back where you were. I'm determined to
have pity upon no one, since no one has pity upon me.
ARIST. Forth from my chains with evil omen did I come;
now I perceive that with like ill omen to my bonds I must
(Exeunt.
return.
ACT IV.-SCENE I.
Enter ERGASILUS3.
ERG. Supreme Jove! thou dost preserve me, and dost
augment my means. Plenty, extreme and sumptuous, dost
¹ This really is violence)—Ver. 755. According to Suetonius, Julius Cæsar
used an exactly similar expression when first attacked by his murderers in the
senate-house. On Tullius Cimber seizing hold of his garments he exclaimed,
"Ita quidem vis est!" "Why, really, this is violence !"
2 To prison)-Ver. 756. "Phylacam." This is a Greek word Latinized, mean-
ing "prison" or "confinement."
3 Ergasilus) He has just come from the harbour, where he has seen the son
of Hegio, together with Philocrates and Stalagmus, landing from the packet-boat.
Now, as he speaks still of his intended dinner with Hegio, to which he had been
invited in the earlier part of the Play, we must conclude, that since then, Philo-
crates has taken ship from the coast of Ætolia, arrived in Elis, procured the libe-
ration of Philopolemus, and returned with him, all in the space of a few hours.
This, however, although the coast of Elis was only about fifteen miles from that of
Ætolia, is not at all consistent with probability; and the author has been much cen-
sured by some Commentators, especially by Lessing, on account of his negligence.
4.62
Act IV,
CAPTIVI;
thou present to me; celebrity, profit, enjoyment, mirth, fes-
tivity, holidays, sights, provisions, carousings, abundance, joy-
ousness. And to no man have I now determined with myself
to go a-begging; for I'm able either to profit my friend or
to destroy my enemy, to such extent has this delightful day
heaped delights upon me in its delightfulness. I have lighted
upon a most rich inheritance without incumbrances¹. Now
will I wend my way to this old gentleman Hegio, to whom I
am carrying blessings as great as he himself prays for from
the Gods, and even greater. Now, this is my determination,
in the same fashion that the slaves of Comedy2 are wont, so
will I throw my cloak around my neck, that from me, the
first of all, he may learn this matter. And I trust that I,
by reason of this news, shall find provision up to the end.
SCENE II.-Enter HEGIO, at a distance.
HEG. (to himself). The more that I revolve this matter in
my breast, the more is my uneasiness of mind increased. That
I should have been duped in this fashion to-day! and that I
wasn't able to see through it! When this shall be known,
then I shall be laughed at all over the city. The very mo-
ment that I shall have reached the Forum, all will be saying,
"This is that clever old gentleman, who had the trick played
him." But is this Ergasilus, that I see coming at a distance?
Surely he has got his cloak gathered up; what, I wonder, is
he going to do?
ERG. (advancing, and talking to himself). Throw aside.
It must, however, be remembered, that Plautus was writing for a Roman audience,
the greater part of whom did not know whether Elis was one mile or one hundred
from the coast of Etolia. We may suppose, too, that Philopolemus had already
caused Stalagmus, the runaway slave, to be apprehended before the arrival of Phi-
locrates in Elis.
1 An inheritance without incumbrances)—Ver. 780. "Sine sacris hereditas."
The meaning of this expression has been explained in the Notes to the Trinummus,
484.
2 Slaves of Comedy)—Ver. 783. This was done that, when expedition was re-
quired, the cloak might not prove an obstruction to the wearer as he walked. The
slaves in Comedies usually wore the "pallium," and as they were mostly active,
bustling fellows, would have it tucked tightly around them. The "pallium "
was usually worn passed over the left shoulder, then drawn behind the back, and
order the left arm, leaving it bare, and then thrown again over the left shoulder.
Sc. II.
403
THE CAPTIVES.
from you all tardiness, Ergasilus, and speed on this business.
I threaten, and I strictly charge no person to stand in my way,
unless any one shall be of opinion that he has lived long
enough. For whoever does come in my way, shall stop me
upon his face. (He runs along, flourishing his arms about.)
HEG. (to himself). This fellow's beginning to box.
ERG. (to himself). I'm determined to do it; so that every
one may pursue his own path, let no one be bringing any of
his business in this street; for my fist is a balista, my arm is
my catapulta, my shoulder a battering-ram; then against
whomsoever I dart my knee, I shall bring him to the ground.
I'll make all persons to be picking up their teeth¹, whom-
soever I shall meet with.
HEG (to himself). What threatening is this? For I can.
not wonder enough.
ERG. I'll make him always to remember this day and place,
and myself as well. Whoever stops me upon my road, I'll
make him put a stop to his own existence.
HEG. (to himself). What great thing is this fellow pre-
paring to do, with such mighty threats ?
ERG. I first give notice, that no one, by reason of his own
fault, may be caught-keep yourselves in-doors at home, and
guard yourselves from my attack.
HEG. (to himself). By my faith, 'tis strange if he hasn't
got this boldness by means of his stomach. Woe to that
wretched man, through whose cheer this fellow has become
quite swaggering.
ERG. Then the bakers, that feed swine, that fatten their
pigs upon refuse bran, through the stench of which no one
can pass by a baker's shop; if I see the pig of any one of
them in the public way, I'll beat the bran out of the masters'
themselves with my fists.
HEG. (to himself). Royal and imperial edicts does he give
out. The fellow is full; he certainly has his boldness from
his stomach.
ERG. Then the fishmongers, who supply stinking fish to
the public-who are carried about on a gelding, with his
¹ To be picking up their teeth)-Ver. 803. "Dentilegos." He says that he wil
knock their teeth out, and so make them pick them up from the ground. We must
suppose that while he is thus hurrying on, he is walking up one of the long
streets which were represented as emerging on the Roman stage, opposite to the
audience.
464
Act IV.
CAPTIVI;
galloping galling pacel the stench of whom drives all the
loungers in the Basilica² into the Forum, I'll bang their
heads with their bulrush fish-baskets, that they may under-
stand what annoyance they cause to the noses of other
people. And then the butchers, as well, who render the sheep
destitute of their young-who agree with you about killing
lamb³, and then offer you lamb at double the price-who
give the name of wether mutton to a ram-if I should
only see that ram in the public way, I'll make both ram and
owner most miserable beings.
HEG. (to himself). Well done! He really does give out
edicts fit for an Ædile, and 'tis indeed a surprising thing if the
Ætolians haven't made him inspector of markets*.
ERG. No Parasite now am I, but a right royal king of
kings; so large a stock of provision for my stomach is there
at hand in the harbour. But why delay to overwhelm this
old gentleman Hegio with gladness? With him, not a person
among mankind exists equally fortunate.
แ
¹ Galling pace)-Ver. 819. "Crucianti" may mean either "tormenting" the
spectator by reason of the slowness of its pace, or galling to the rider. Quadru-
pedanti crucianti cauterio" is a phrase, both in sound and meaning, much re-
sembling what our song-books call the "galloping dreary dun."
2 In the Basilica)-Ver. 820. The "Basilica" was a building which served as a
court of law, and a place of meeting for merchants and men of business. The
name was perhaps derived from the Greek word Bartheùs, as the title of the
second Athenian Archon, who had his tribunal or court of justice. The building
was probably, in its original form, an insulated portico. The first edifice of this
kind at Rome was erected B.C. 184; probably about the period when this Play was
composed. It was situate in the Forum, and was built by Porcius Cato, from whom
it was called the " Porcian Basilica." Twenty others were afterwards erected at
different periods in the city. The loungers here mentioned, in the present in-
stance, were probably sauntering about under the porticos of the Basilica, when
their olfactory nerves were offended by the unsavoury smell of the fishermen's
baskets.
แ
3 About killing lamb)-Ver. 824. In these lines he seems to accuse the
butchers of three faults-cruelty, knavery, and extortion. The general reading is
'duplam," but Rost suggests "duplâ," "at double the price." If "duplam" is
retained, might it not possibly mean that the butchers agree to kill lamb for you,
and bring to you "duplam agninam,' ""double lamb," or, in other words, lamb
twice as old as it ought to be? No doubt there was some particular age at which
lamb, in the estimation of Ergasilus and his brother-epicures, was considered to be
in its greatest perfection.
• Inspector of markets)—Ver. 829. "Agoranomum." The Edi'es were the
inspectors of markets at Rome, while the Agoranomi" had a similar office in the
Grecian cities.
Se. II.
465
THE CAPTIVES,
HEG. (apart). What joy is this, that he, thus joyous, is
going to impart to me?
ERG. (knocking at HEGIO's door). Hallo, hallo!—where
are you? Is any one coming to open this door?
HEG. (apart). This fellow's betaking himself to my house
to dine.
ERG. Open you both these doors¹, before I shall with
knocking cause the destruction, piecemeal, of the doors.
HEG. (apart). I'd like much to address the fellow. (Aloud.)
Ergasilus!
ERG. Who's calling Ergasilus? HEG. Turn round, and
look at me.
ERG. (not seeing who it is). A thing that Fortune does not
do for you, nor ever will do, you bid me to do. But who is it.
HEG. Look round at me. 'Tis Hegio.
ERG. (turning round). O me! Best of the very best of
men, as many as exist, you have arrived opportunely.
HEG. You've met with some one at the harbour to dine
with; through that you are elevated.
ERG. Give me your hand. HEG. My hand?
ERG. Give me your hand, I say, this instant.
HEG. Take it. (Giving him his hand.)
ERG. Rejoice. HEG. Why should I rejoice?
ERG. Because I bid you; come now, rejoice.
HEG. I' faith, my sorrows exceed my rejoicings.
ERG. 'Tis not so, as you shall find; I'll at once drive away
every spot of sorrow2 from your body. Rejoice without re-
straint.
HEC. I do rejoice, although I don't at all know why I
should rejoice.
ERG. You do rightly; now order-
ERG. A large fire to be made.
HEG. Order what?
HEG. A large fire? ERG. So I say, that a huge one it
must be.
HEG. What, you vulture, do you suppose that for your
sake I'm going to set my house on fire?
ERG. Don't be angry. Will you order, or will you not
order, the pots to be put on, and the saucepans to be washed
¹ Both these doors)—Ver. 836. The street-doors of the ancients were generally
'bivalve," or "folding-doors."
Every spot of sorrow )-Ver. 846. He alludes, figuratively, to the art of the
fuller or scourer, in taking the spots out of soiled garments.
2 H
466
Act IV
CAPTIVI;
out, the bacon and the dainties to be made warm in the heated
cooking-stoves, another one, too, to go purchase the fish?
HEG. This fellow's dreaming while awake.
ERG. Another to buy pork, and lamb, and pullets.
HEG. You understand how to feed well, if you had the
means.
ERG. Gammons of bacon, too, and lampreys, spring pickled
tunny-fish, mackerel, and sting-ray; large fish, too, and soft
cheese.
HEG. You will have more opportunity, Ergasilus, here at
my house, of talking about these things than of eating them.
ERG. Do you suppose that I'm saying this on my own
account?
HEG. You will neither be eating nothing here to-day, nor
yet much more than usual, so don't you be mistaken. Do you
then bring an appetite to my house for your every-day fare.
ERG. Why, I'll so manage it, that you yourself shall wish
to be profuse, though I myself should desire you not.
HEG. What, I? ERG. Yes, you.
HEG. Then you are my master. ERG. Yes, and a kindly
disposed one. Do you wish me to make you happy?
HEG. Certainly I would, rather than miserable.
ERG. Give me your hand. HEG. (extending his hand).
Here is my hand.
ERG. All the Gods are blessing you.
HEG. I don't feel it so. ERG. Why, you are not in a
quickset hedge¹, therefore you don't feel it; but order the
vessels, in a clean state, to be got for you forthwith in
readiness for the sacrifice, and one lamb to be brought here
with all haste, a fat one.
HEG. Why? ERG. That you may offer sacrifice.
HEG. To which one of the Gods ?
ERG. To myself, i' faith, for now am I your supreme
Jupiter. I likewise am your salvation, your fortune, your
life, your delight, your joy. Do you at once, then, make
this Divinity propitious to you by cramming him.
1 In a quickset hedge)-Ver. 865. Here is a most wretched attempt at wit,
which cannot be expressed in a literal translation. Hegio says, "Nilil sentio,"
'I don't feel it." Ergasilus plays upon the resemblance of the verb "sentio" to
sentis" and "senticetum," a "bramble-bush or quickset hedge;" and says
'You don't feel it so," "non sentis," ""because you are not in a quickset hedge,'
"in senticeto."
""
Sc. II.
467
THE CAPTIVES.
HEG. You seem to me to be hungry.
ERG. For myself am I hungry, and not for you.
HEG. I readily allow of it at your own good will.
ERG. I believe you; from a boyl you were in the habit—
HEG. May Jupiter and the Gods confound
you.
ERG. I' troth, 'tis fair that for my news you should return
me thanks; such great happiness do I now bring you from
the harbour.
HEG. Now you are flattering me. Begone, you simpleton;
you have arrived behind time, too late.
ERG. If I had come sooner, then for that reason you might
rather have said that. Now, receive this joyous news of me
which I bring you; for at the harbour I just now saw your
son Philopolemus in the common fly-boat, alive, safe and
sound, and likewise there that other young man together with
him, and Stalagmus your slave, who fled from your house,
who stole from you your little son, the child of four years old.
HEG. Away with you to utter perdition! You are trifling
with me.
2
ERG. So may holy Gluttony love me, Hegio, and so may
she ever dignify me with her name, I did see——
HEG. My sou? ERG. Your son, and my good Genius.
HEG. That Elean captive, too?
ERG. Yes, by Apollo³. HEG. The slave, too? My slave
Stalagmus, he that stole my son-
?
¹ From a boy)—Ver. 872. An indelicate allusion is covertly intended in this line.
2 So may holy Gluttony)—Ver. 882. The Parasite very appropriately deifies
Gluttony: as the Goddess of Bellyful would, of course, merit his constant worship.
3 Yes, by Apollo)—Ver. 885. In the exuberance of his joy at his prospects of
good eating, the Parasite gives this, and his next five replies, in the Greek lan-
guage; just as the diner-out, and the man of bon-mots and repartee, night in
our day couch his replies in French, with the shrug of the shoulder and the
becoming grimace. He first swears by Apollo, and then by Cora, which may mean
either a city of Campania so called, or the Goddess Proserpine, who was called by
the Greeks, Kopy, “the maiden." He then swears by four places in Campania—
Præneste, Signia, Phrysinone, and Alatrium. As the scene is in Greece, Hegio
asks him why he swears by these foreign places; to which he gives answer
merely because they are as disagreable as the unsavoury dinner of vegetables
which he had some time since promised him. This is, probably, merely an excuse
for obtruding a slighting remark upon these places, which would meet with a ready
response from a Roman audience, as the Campanians had sided with Hannibal
against Rome in the second Punic war. They were probably miserable places
Besides, on which the more refined Romans looked with supreme contempt.
2 FF
Q
468
Act IV.
CAPTIVI
i
ERG. Yes, by Cora. HEG. So long a time ago ?
ERG. Yes, by Præneste! HEG. Is he arrived ?
ERG. Yes, by Signia! HEG. For sure?
ERG. Yes, by Phrysinone! HEG. Have a care, if you
please.
ERG. Yes, by Alatrium! HEG. Why are you swearing
by foreign cities?
ERG. Why, because they are just as disagreable as you
were declaring your fare to be.
HEG. Woe be to you! ERG. Because that you don't
believe me at all in what I say in sober earnestness. But
of what country was Stalagmus, at the time when he de-
parted hence?
HEG. A Sicilian. ERG. But now he is not a Sicilian—
he is a Boian; he has got a Boian woman¹. A wife, I
suppose, has been given to him for the sake of obtaining
children.
HEG. Tell me, have you said these words to me in good
earnest ?
ERG. In good earnest.
HEG. Immortal Gods, I seem to
be born again, if you are telling the truth.
ERG. Do you say so? Will you still entertain doubts,
when I have solemnly sworn to you? In fine, Hegio, if you
have little confidence in my oath, go yourself to the harbour
and see.
HEG. I'm determined to do so. Do you arrange in-doors
what's requisite. Use, ask for, take from my larder what
you like; I appoint you cellarman.
ERG. Now, by my troth, if I have not prophesied truly
to you, do you comb me out with a cudgel.
HEG. I'll find you in victuals to the end, if you are telling
me the truth.
ERG. Whence shall it be? HEG. From myself and from
my son.
1 Got a Boian woman)—Ver. 893. There is an indelicate meaning in the ex-
pression "Boiam terere.” The whole line is intended as a play upon words.
"Boia
means either a collar," which was placed round a prisoner's neck, or a
female of the nation of the Boii in Gaul. "Boiam terere" may mean either "to
have the prisoner's collar on," or, paraphrastically, "to be coupled with a Boian
woman." Ergasilus having seen Stalagmus in the packet-boat with this collar
on, declares that Stalaginus is a Sicilian no longer, for he has turned Boian,
having a Boian helpmate.
Sc. III.
469
THE CAPTIVES.
ERG. Do you promise that? HEG. I do promise it.
ERG. But I, in return, promisel you that your son has
arrived.
HEG. Manage as well as ever you can.
ERG. A happy walk there to you, and a happy walk back.
(Exit HEGIO.
SCENE III. ERGASILUS, alone.
ERG. He has gone away from here, and has entrusted to me
the most important concern of catering. Immortal Gods
how I shall now be slicing necks off of sides; how vast a
downfall will befall the gammon²; how vast a belabouring the
bacon! How great a using-up of udders, how vast a bewail-
ing for the brawn! How great a bestirring for the butchers,
how great a preparation for the porksellers! But if I were
to enumerate the rest of the things which minister to the
supply of the stomach, 'twould be sheer delay. Now will I
go off to my government, to give laws to the bacon, and,
those gammons that are hanging uncondemned, to give aid
to them. (Goes into the house.)
ACT V.-SCENE I.
Enter a LAD, a servant of HEGIO.
LAD. May Jupiter and the Deities confound you, Erga-
silus, and your stomach, and all Parasites, and every one
who henceforth shall give a dinner to Parasites. Destruc-
¹ I, in return, promise)-Ver. 904. Ergasilus says, "Do you really promise me
this fine entertainment ?" To which, Hegio answers, "Spondeo," "I do promise."
On this, Ergasilus replies, "that your son really has returned, I answer you,"
"respondeo," or, as he intends it to be meant, "I promise you once again," or
"in return for your promise."
a
2 Befall the gammon)-Ver. 908. An alliteration is employed in these two lines,
which cannot be well kept up in a literal translation. As, however, in the trans-
lation an attempt is made to give the spirit of the passage, the literal meaning may
be here stated. "Pernis pestis," "a plague to the gammons;"
""labes larido,'
fall for the bacon;" "sumini absumedo," a consumption of udder;" "callo
calamitas," "destruction to the brawn;" and "laniis lassitudo," "weariness to
the butchers." Sows' udder, with the milk in it, first dried, and then cooked in
some peculiar manner, was considered a great delicacy by the Roman epicures.
3 Hanging uncondemned)—Ver. 913. He'll commute the punishment of the
gammons and hams, for they shall hang no longer.
470
Act V.
CAPTIVI;
་
tion and devastation and ruin have just now entered our
house. I was afraid that he would be making an attack on
me, as though he had been an hungry wolf. And
And very dread-
fully, upon my faith, was I frightened at him; he made such
a gnashing with his teeth. On his arrival, the whole larder,
with the meat, he turned upside down. He seized a knife,
and first cut off the kernels of the neck¹ from three sides.
All the pots and cups he broke, except those that held a
couple of gallons; of the cook he made enquiry whether the
salting pans could be set on the fire to be made hot.
the cellars in the house he has broken into, and has laid the
store-closets open. (At the door.) Watch him, servants, if
you please; I'll go to meet the old gentleman. I'll tell him
to get ready some provisions for his own self, if, indeed, he
wishes himself to make use of any. For in this place, as this
man, indeed, is managing, either there's nothing already, or
very soon there will be nothing.
(Exit.
All
SCENE II.-Enter HEGIO, PHILOPOLEMUS, PHILOCRATES,
and behind them, STALAGMUS.
HEG. To Jove and to the Deities I return with reason hearty
thanks, inasmuch as they have restored you to your father,
and inasmuch as they have delivered me from very many
afflictions, which, while I was obliged to be here without you, I
was enduring, and inasmuch as I see that that fellow (pointing
to STALAGMUS) is in my power, and inasmuch as his word
(pointing to PHILOCRATES) has been found true to me.
1 The kernels of the neck)-Ver. 920. The "glandia" were the kernels or
tonsils of the throat, situate just below the root of the tongue. These portions
of the dead pig seem to have been much prized as delicate eating. Judging from
the present passage, the whole side of the pig, including the half-head, was salted
and dried in one piece. The first thing that the Parasite does, is to cut the ker-
nels from off of three sides, which he has relieved from the punishment of
hanging.
แ
2 A couple of gallons)—Ver. 921. "Modiales." Literally, containing a mo-
dius," which contained sixteen sextarii, something more than a peck of dry-
measure English.
3 The store-closet)-Ver. 923. "Armarium" was so called because it was
originally a place for keeping arms. It afterwards came to signify a cupboard in
a wall, in which clothes, books, money, and other articles of value, were placed.
It was generally in the "atrium," or principal room of the house. In this in-
stance it evidently means the store-closet, distinguished from the larder and the
cellars.
Se, II.
471
THE CAPTIVES.
PHILOP. Enough now have I grieved from my very soul,
and enough with care and tears have I disquieted myself.
Enough now have I heard of your woes, which at the harbour
you told me of. Let us now to this business.
PHIL. What now, since I've kept my word with you, and
have caused him to be restored back again to freedom?
HEG. Philocrates, you have acted so that I can never re-
turn you thanks enough, in the degree that you merit from
myself and my son.
PHILOР. Nay, but you can, father, and you will be able,
and I shall be able; and the Divinities will give the means
for to return the kindness he merits to one who deserves
so highly of us; as, my father, you are able to do to this
person who so especially deserves it.
you
HEG. What need is there of words? I have no tongue
with which to deny whatever you may ask of me.
PHIL. I ask of you to restore to me that servant whom
I left here as a surety for myself; who has always proved
more faithful to me than to himself; in order that for his
services I may be enabled to give him a reward.
HEG. Because you have acted thus kindly, the favour
shall be returned, the thing that you ask; both that and
anything else that you shall ask of me, you shall obtain. And
I would not have you blame me, because in my anger I have
treated him harshly.
PHIL. What have you done? HEG. I confined him in
fetters at the stone-quarries, when I found out that I had
been imposed upon.
PHIL. Ah wretched me! That for my safety misfortunes
should have happened to that best of men.
HEG. Now, on this account, you need not give me even
one groat of silver for him. Receive him of me without
cost that he may be free.
PHIL. On my word, Hegio, you act with kindness; but I
entreat that you will order this man to be sent for.
¹ One groat of silver)—Ver. 952. "Libella" was the name of the smallest
silver coin with the Romans, being the tenth part of a denarius. Hegio seems to
make something of a favour of this, and to give his liberty to Tyndarus in
consideration of his punishment; whereas he had originally agreed with Philocrates
that, if Philopolemus was liberated, both he and Tyndarus should be set at
liberty.
472
Act V.
CAPTIVI;
HEG. Certainly. (To the attendants, who immediately
cbey.) Where are you? Go this instant, and bring Tyn-
darus here. (To PHILOPOLEMUS and PHILOCRATES.) Do
you go in-doors; in the meantime, I wish to enquire of this
statue for whipping, what was done with my younger son.
Do you go bathe in the meantime.
PHILOP. Philocrates, follow me this way in-doors.
PHIL. I follow you. (They go into the house.)
SCENE III.-HEGIO and STALAGMUS.
HEG. Come you, step this way, you worthy fellow, my
fine slave.
STAL. What is fitting for me to do, when you, such a mar
as you are, are speaking false? I was never a handsome, or a
fine, or a good person, or an honest one, nor shall I ever
be; assuredly, don't you be forming any hopes that I shall
be honest.
HEG. You easily understand pretty well in what situation
your fortunes are. If you shall prove truth-telling, you'll
make your lot from bad somewhat better. Speak out, then,
correctly and truthfully; but never yet truthfully or correctly
have you acted.
STAL. Do you think that I'm ashamed to own it, when
you affirm it ?
HEG. But I'll make you to be ashamed; for I'll cause you
to be blushes all over2.
STAL. Heyday-you're threatening stripes, I suppose, to
me, quite unaccustomed to them! Away with them, I beg.
Tell me what you bring, that you may carry off hence what
you are in want of.
HEG. Very fluent indeed. But now I wish this prating
to be cut short.
STAL. As you desire, so be it done.
HEG. (to the AUDIENCE). As a boy he was very obedients;
now that suits him not. Let's to this business; now give
¹ This statue for whipping)—Ver. 956. The same expression occurs in the
Pseudolus, 1. 911.
2 Be blushes all over)—Ver. 967. He means that he will have him flogged until
he is red all over.
3 Was very obedient)-Ver. 971. An Indelicate remark is covertly intended in
this passage.
Sc. IV.
473
THE CAPTIVES.
your attention, and inform me upon what I ask. If you teli
the truth, you'll make your fortunes somewhat better.
STAL. That's mere trifling. Don't you think that I know
what I'm deserving of?
HEG. Still, it is in your power to escape a small portion of
it, if not the whole.
STAL. A small portion I shall escape, I know; but much
will befall me, and with my deserving it, because I both ran
away, and stole your son and sold him.
HEG. To what person?
STAL. To Theodoromedes the
Polyplusian, in Elis, for six minæ.
HEG. O ye immortal Gods! He surely is the father of this
person, Philocrates.
STAL. Why, I know him better than yourself, and have
seen him more times.
HEG. Supreme Jove, preserve both myself and my son for
(He goes to the door, and calls aloud.) Philocrates, by
your good Genius, I do entreat you, come out, I want you.
me.
SCENE IV. Enter PHILOCRATES, from the house.
PHIL. Hegio, here am I; if you want anything of me
command me.
HEG. He (pointing to STALAGMUS) declares that he sold
my son to your father, in Elis, for six minæ.
PHIL. (to STALAGMUS). How long since did that happen ?
STAL. This is the twentieth year, commencing from it.
PHIL. He is speaking falsely. STAL. Either I or you do.
Why, your father gave you the little child, of four years old,
to be your own slave.
PHIL. What was his name? If you are speaking the
truth, tell me that, then.
STAL. Pægnium, he used to be called; afterwards, you gave
him the name of Tyndarus.
PHIL. Why don't I recollect you?
STAL. Because it's
the fashion for persons to forget, and not to know him whose
favour is esteemed as worth nothing.
PHIL. Tell me, was he the person whom you sold to my
father, who was given me for my private service?
STAL. It was his son (pointing to lIEGIO).
HEG. Is this person now living? STAL. I received the
money I cared nothing about the rest.
474
Act V.
CAPTIVI;
HEG. (to PHILOCRATES). What do you say ?
PHIL. Why, this very Tyndarus is your son, according,
indeed, to the proofs that he mentions. For, a boy himself
together with me from boyhood was he brought up, virtuously
and modestly, even to manhood.
HEG. I am both unhappy and happy, if you are telling the
truth. Unhappy for this reason, because, if he is my son, I
have badly treated him. Alas! why have I done both more
and less than was his due. That I have ill treated him I am
grieved; would that it only could be undone. But see, he's
coming here, in a guise not according to his deserts.
SCENE V. Enter TYNDARUS, in chains, led in by the
SERVANTS.
TYND. (to himself). I have seen many of the torments which
take place at Acheron¹ often represented in paintings; but
most certainly there is no Acheron equal to where I have been
in the stone-quarries. There, in fine, is the place where real
lassitude must be undergone by the body in laboriousness.
For when I came there, just as either jackdaws, or ducks, or
quails, are given to Patrician children³, for them to play with,
so in like fashion, when I arrived, a crow was given me with
which to amuse myself. But see, my master's before the door;
and lo! my other master has returned from Elis.
HEG. Hail to you, my much wished-for son.
TYND. Ha! how-my son? Aye, aye, I know why you
pretend yourself to be the father, and me to be the son; it is
¹ At Acheron)—Ver. 1003. He here speaks of Acheron, not as one of the rivers
of hell, but as the infernal regions themselves.
2 Represented in paintings)-Ver. 1003 Meursius thinks that the torments of
the infernal regions were frequently represented in pictures, for the purpose of
deterring men froin evil actions, by keeping in view the certain consequences of
their bad conduct.
3 To Patrician children)—Ver. 1007. This passage is confirmed by what Pliny
the Younger tells us in his Second Epistle. He says, that on the death of the
son of Regulus, his father, in his grief, caused his favourite ponies and dogs, with
his nightingales, parrots, and jackdaws, to be consumed on the funeral pile. It
would certainly have been a greater compliment to his son's memory had he pre-
served them, and treated them kindly; but probably he intended to despatch them
as playthings for the child in the other world.
• A crow was given)—Ver. 1009. "Upupa." He puns upon the twofold mean-
ing of this word, which signified either "a mattock" or a bird called a "hoopoc,"
according to the context. To preserve the spirit cf the pun, a somewhat different
translation has been giver.
Sc. V.
475
THE CAPTIVES.
because, just as parents do, you give me the means of seeing
the light!.
TYND. And to you, for
PHIL. Hail to you, Tyndarus.
whose sake I am enduring these miseries.
PHIL. But now I'll make you in freedom come to wealth.
For (pointing to HEGIO) this is your father; (pointing to
STALAGMUS) that is the slave who stole you away from here
when four years old, and sold you to my father for six minæ.
He gave you, when a little child, to me a little child for my
own service. He (pointing to STALAGMUS) has made a con-
fession, for we have brought him back from Elis.
TYND. How, where's Hegio's son ? PHIL. Look now; in-
doors is your own brother.
TYND. How do you say? Have you brought that captive
son of his ?
PHIL. Why, he's in-doors, I say.
TYND. By my faith, you've done both well and happily.
PHIL. (pointing to HEGIO). Now this is your own father;
(pointing to STALAGMUS) this is the thief who stole you
when a little child.
TYND. But now, grown up, I shall give him grown up t:
the executioner for his thieving.
PHIL. He deserves it. TYND. I' faith, I'll deservedly give
him the reward that he deserves. (To HEGIO.) But tell me
I pray you, are you my father?
HEG. I am he, my son. TYND. Now, at length, I bring it
to my recollection, when I reconsider with myself: troth, I do
now at last recall to memory that I had heard, as thougl
through a mist, that my father was called Hegio.
HEG. I am he. PHIL. I pray that your son may be light-
ened of these fetters, and this slave be loaded with them.
HEG. I'm resolved that that shall be the first thing at-
tended to. Let's go in-doors, that the blacksmith may be
sent for, in order that I may remove those fetters from you,
and give them to him. (They go into the house.)
STAL. To one who has no savings of his own, you'll be
rightly doing so³.
Of seeing the light)-Ver. 1013. He says, "You can only resemble a parent
in the fact that you have given me the opportunity of seeing the light of day by
taking me out of the dark stone-quarries."
2 Be rightly doing so-Ver. 1033. Stalagmus chooses to take the word "dem,
476
Act V.
CAPTIVI; THE CAPTIVES.
No
The COMPANY of PLAYERS coming forward.
Spectators, this play is founded on chaste manners.
wenching is there in this, and no intriguing, no exposure of a
child, no cheating out of money; and no young man in
love here make his mistress free without his father's know
ledge. The Poets find but few Comedies¹ of this kind, where
good men might become better. Now, if it pleases you, and
if we have pleased you, and have not been tedious, do you
give this sign of it: you who wish that chaste manners should
have their reward, give us your applause.
may give," used by Hegio in its literal sense, and surlily replies, "I
have nothing of my own by way of savings,' peculium,' so I am the very
person to whom you ought to give."
1 Find but few Comedies)-Ver. 1038. He here confesses that he does.
not pretend to frame the plots of his Plays himself, but that he goes to
Greek sources for them; and forgetting that "beggars must not be
choosers," he complains that so very few of the Greek Comedies are
founded upon chaste manners. Indeed, this Play is justly deemed the
most pure and innocent of all the Plays of Plautus; and the Company
are quite justified in the commendations which, in their Epilogue, they
bestow on it, as the author has carried out the promise which he made
in the Prologue (with only four slight exceptions), of presenting them
with an immaculate Play.
ASINARIA; OR, THE ASS-DEALER.
Dramatis Personæ.
DEMÆNETUS, an aged Athenian
ARGYRIPPUS, hist son,
in love with Philenium.
LIBANUS, } Servants of Demænetus.
LEONIDA,
THE ASS-Dealer.
DIABOLUS, an Athenian Captain, the rival of Argyrippul.
A PARASITE, a dependant of Diabolus.
A Boy.
ARTEMONA, wife of Demænetus.
CLEÆRETA, a procuress.
PHILENIUM, daughter of Cleareta.
Scene.-Athens, before the house of CLEARETA; the house of DEMANETUS is
little way down another street, and in view of the AUDIENCE
1HE SUBJECT.
ARGYRIPPUS, the son of Demænetus, is violently in love with Philenium, a
young woman, who is living with her mother, Cleæreta, a procuress. The latter
has made an agreement with a Captain, of the name of Diabolus, to transfer
Philenium to him for twenty minæ, on condition, however, that if Argyrippus
shall first pay that sum, he shall have her. Argyrippus, having exhausted all
his own resources, applies to his father, Demænetus, an over-indulgent and
immoral old man, and requests him to furnish him with twenty minæ. Demæ-
netus is married to Artemona, a rich woman, and is totally dependant on the
will of herself and her favourite slave, the chamberlain Saurea. Being desti-
tute of money, Demænetus orders his servant, Libanus, by some means or
other to cheat his mistress or the chamberlain out of that sum. Just then an
ass-dealer arrives, to pay to Saurea twenty minæ, the price of some asses which
he has previously purchased. Libanus then arranges with his fellow-servant,
Leonida, that the latter shall personate Saurea, and so receive the money from
the ass-dealer. This is done, and the money is paid to Leonida, in the presence of
Demænetus, who assures the dealer that Leonida really is the person to whom
the money is payable. This sum is then given to Argyrippus, but with the
disgraceful stipulation that for one day his father shall enjoy the coinpany of
Philenium. This he submits to, and the three sit down to a banquet. The
Captain discovers this, and sends his Parasite to inform Artemona of her
husband's conduct. She accordingly accompanies the Parasite, and discovers
her husband in the company of his son and the young woman; after soundly
rating him, she leads him off; while Argyrippus remains in possession of Phe
renium.
ASINARIA:
OR, THE ASS-DEALER.
THE ACROSTIC ARGUMENT.
[Supposed to have been written by Priscian the Grammarian.]
l'HE son in love (Amanti), the old man, who lives under (Sub) his wife's contro↳
wishes to help him with money; therefore (Itaque), some money that has been
brought in payment for the asses for Saurea he orders to be paid (Numerari)
to his scrvant Leonida. This is carried to (Ad) his mistress, and the son
yields her favours to his father. His rival (Rivinus) is furious an account
of the woman thus taken from him: he (Is) tells all the matter, through the
Parasite, to the wife. The wife rushes (Adcurrit) to the pluce, and drags her
husband from the den.
THE PROLOGUE.
ATTEND now, Spectators, if you please, forthwith to this,
and
may this matter turn out fortunately for me and for your-
selves, and for this company, and for our employers¹, and for
our managers². Now, crier, do you at once make all the people
give attentive ear. Come, be seated now, only be careful
that 'tis not for nought. Now I will tell you why I have
come forward here, and what my intention is, that you may
know the name of this play. For, so far as relates to the plot,
it really is a short one. Now I will tell you what I said I was
wishful to inform you upon. The name of this play in Greek
· For our employers)—Ver. 3. By "dominis" he probably means the Ædiles
by whom the actors were engaged for the public entertainment.
2 And for our managers)—Ver. 3. The "conductores" were probably the leaders
or managers of the company, who made the contract with the Ediles.
480
Act I,
ASINARIA
is Onagos¹-Demophilus composed it-Marcus³ Plautus
turned it into Latin. He wishes it to be called Asinaria, if
by your leaves it may be so. In this play there is both plea-
santry and fun. 'Tis a droll story; kindly lend me your
attention; may Mars, too, as, full oft at other tunes he has
done, so give you now his aid.
ACT I.-SCENE I.
Enter DEMENETUS and LIBANUS, from the house of the
former.
LIB. As you desire your own only son to survive your own
existence, prosperous, and living on; so by your lengthened
years, and by that wife of yours of whom you stand in awe,
do I conjure you, that if this day you have said anything
that's false against myself, your wife may then survive your
own existence, and that, she living, you, still alive, may come
to utter destruction5.
DEM. By the Gods above, as to what you seek to know, I
see that I inust, perforce, speak out, whatever you question
me upon, being thus conjured; so determinedly have you
accosted me, that I really do not dare otherwise than to
disclose everything to you making all these enquiries. Say
then at once what it is that you desire so much to know; as
I myself shall know, so will I let you know.
¹ Is Onagos)-Ver. 10. "Onagos." The Greek name for an "ass-driver."
² Demophilus)—Ver. 11. No particulars are known of Demophilus the Comic
Writer. Some would suggest Diphilus as the reading here: he is mentioned in the
Adelphi of Terence, and was a Comic Poet, contemporary with Menander.
3 Marcus)-Ver. 11. Marcus is the word used here. It is supposed to be u
corruption of, or an abbreviation for, Maccius or M. Accius, whichever was the
prænomen of the poet.
Asinaria)-Ver. 12. "Asinaria" seems to be the nominative feminine singular
or neuter plural of the adjective "asinarius," of or "relating to asses.”
5 Come to utter destruction)-Ver. 22. "Pestem obpetas." Literally,
Literally, "meet
with a plague." This expression held a somewhat similar rank with our uu-
courteous invitation, "Go to the devil."
0 By the Gods above)-Ver. 23. "Per Deum Fidium." Literally, "by the
God Fidius." This God had a Temple in the Capitol at Rome. He was repre-
sented as having Honor on his right hand, and Truth on the left. He is men-
tioned by Ovid, in the Sixth Book of the Fasti, as having the names also of Sancus
and Semno. He was also called Sangus and Sanctus, and is generally supposed to
have been the Sabine Hercules. Saint Augustine says that he was a king of the
sabines, whom they had deified.
Sc. I.
481
OR, THE ASS-DEALER.
LIB. Troth now, prithee answer me seriously what I ask
take care that you tell me no falsehood.
you;
DEM. Why, then, don't you ask?
LIB. Will you, then, be sending me there, where stone
grinds stone¹?
DEM. What place is that? Or where in the world is that
place ?
LIB. Where worthless men are weeping, who breakfast
upon pearled barley2.
DEM. What that place is, or where it is, I cannot under-
stand, where worthless men are weeping, who breakfast upon
pearled barley.
LIB. Why, in the islands of club-land and rattle-chain³,
where dead oxen attack living mer.
DEM. I' faith, I now understand, Libanus, what place it is;
that perhaps you mean, where the pearled barley is prepared.
LIB. O dear: I'm not speaking of that, i' faith, nor do
I wish to speak of it. Troth now, prithee, do spit out the
words that you have spoken.
DEM. Be it so; you shall be indulged. (He coughs and spits.)
LIB. Come, come-hawk away. DEM. What, still more?
(Spits on.)
LIB. Troth now; prithee, do go on-still more.
DEM. What-from the very bottom of my throat? (Spits.)
LIB. Even more still. DEM. Why, how long? (Spits.)
LIB. I want you, even to the death-
DEM. Take you care of a woful mishap, if you please.
LIB. Of your wife, I mean, not of yourself.
DEM. For that speech, I give you leave to be free from
apprehension.
¹ Stone grinds stone)-Ver. 31. He alludes to the "pistrinum," or hand-mill,
where refractory slaves were often sent and set to grind the corn, which was a
very laborious employment.
2 Pearled barley)-Ver. 33. "Polenta." This was barley-meal, dried before
the fire, soaked in water for a night, and then baked.
3 Club-land and rattle-chain)—Ver. 36. "Fustitudinas, ferricrepinas." These
are words coined by the author for the occasion. In the next line he alludes to
flogging with thongs of hide,
Do spit out)—Ver. 41. The ancients signified extreme disgust by spitting.
Libanus is so frightened at the bare "idea" of the "pistrinum," or "mill," that
he deems the attempt to mention it as of bad omen, and begs that his master will
spit away from him the very notion of it.
2 I
432
Act I.
ASINARIA;
L
LIB. May the Gods grant you whatever you desire.
DEM. In return, give me your attention. Why should I
ask this of you? Or why should I threaten you, because you
have not made me acquainted with it? Or why, in fine, should
I censure my son as other fathers do?
LIB. What new affair is this? (Aside.) I wonder much
what it is, and I'm in dread what the upshot of it may be.
DEм. In fact, I'm now aware that my son's in love with
that Courtesan Philenium, that lives close by. Is not this as
I say, Libanus?
LIB. You are upon the right track; such is the fact.
But a dreadful malady has overtaken him.
DEM. What is the malady? LIB. Why, that his presents
don't equal his promises.
DEM. Are you, then, one who assists my son in his
amours?
LIB. I really am, and our Leonida is another.
DEM. I' faith, you do kindly, and you gain thanks from me.
But this wife of mine, Libanus, don't you know what sort of
a person she is ?
LIB. You are the first to experience it, but we give a guess
beforehand.
DEM. I confess that she is troublesome, and not to be
pleased.
LIB. You say that later than I believed you in it.
DEM. All parents, Libanus, who listen to me, will show
indulgence to their children, inasmuch as they will find their
sons more kindly disposed and more affectionate; and that
do I desire to do myself. I wish to be loved by mine; I wish
myself to be like my father, who, for my sake, himself in the
disguise of a ship-master, carried off from a procurer a
female with whom I was in love; nor was he ashamed, at
that time of life, to devise stratagems, and to purchase with
good turns me, his son, for himself. These ways of my
father have I resolved to imitate. For to-day my son Argy-
rippus has entreated me to give him a supply of money for
his amours; and I very much wish in that to oblige my son.
I wish to forward his amours; I wish him to be fond of myself,
his father. Although his mother keeps him strictly, and with
a tight rein, as fathers have been in the habit of doing, all that
I dismiss. Especially as he has deemed me deserving, for him
Sc. I.
483
OR, THE ASS-DEALER.
to entrust it to me, I ought to pay all due regard to his feel-
ings. Inasmuch as he has applied to me, as it is right that
a respectful son should do, I wish him to have some money
for him to give to his mistress *
*
*
*
**
LIB. You are desiring that which I find you are do
siring to no purpose.
Your wife brought her servant
Saurea with her on her marriage¹, who has more in his con-
trol than you have.
DEM. I received money with her, and for the portion I sold
my authority. Now I'll compress into a few words what I
want of you; my son is now in need of twenty silver minæ :
do you manage that it may be forthwith found for him.
LIB. From what place in the world? DEM. Cheat me of
them.
You are bid-
LIB. You are talking downright nonsense.
ding me take the clothes from off a naked man. I, cheat you?
-come now, fly you without wings, please. What, am I to
cheat you who have nothing in your power for your own self?
Unless you have first cheated your wife out of something.
DEM. Impose upon or rob myself in any way you can, my
wife in any way, my servant Saurea in any way. I promise
you that it shall not prove to your detriment, if you effect it
to-day.
LIB. On the same principle you might bid me to fish in the
air, and to hunt with a javelin in the midst of the sea.
DEM. Take Leonida as your coadjutor; devise some plan
or other, think of some expedient: bring it about that my son
this day gets some money to give his mistress.
**
LIB. What say you, Demænetus
*
ransom me?
*
*
if the foe should intercept me, will you
DEM. I will ransom you. LIB. Then do you attend to
something else, whatever you please.
1 With her on her marriage)—Ver. 87. "Dotalem." The husband was master
of the other slaves in the household; but the "dotalis" was under the sole con-
trol of the mistress. Aulus Gellius, in his Seventeenth Book, calls him "servus
recepticius," probably, either because it was his business to receive whatever was
due to his mistress, or from his being received into the house in preference to all
other slaves.
((
2 Your coadjutor)—Ver. 103. Optio" was originally the name of the lieu-
tenant, or adjutant, who was chosen by the centurion in the Roman armies to
assist him in the discharge of his duties.
NT ?
484
Act I.
ASINARIA;
DEM. I'm off to the Forum, unless you wish for anything.
LIB. Be off-why are you not walking¹?
DEM. And do you hear, too- ? LIB. Well now.
DEM. If I want you for anything, where will you be?
LIB. Wherever it shall be agreable to my feelings. Really,
there's not a person that I shall stand in dread of from this
time forward, for fear he might be able to do me an injury,
since in your discourse you have disclosed to me all your
sentiments. Why, your own self even I don't stand much in
awe of, if I carry this out. I'll go where I intended, and
there I'll commune upon my plans.
DEM. Do you hear me? I shall be with Archibulus, the
banker.
LIB. In the Forum, you mean? DEM. There, if there
shall be any occasion for me².
LIB. I'll remember it.
(Exit.
DEM. (to himself). Not any servant can there be more
artful than this fellow, nor yet more crafty, nor one that it
is more difficult for you to be on your guard against. If you
want anything well managed, entrust it to this same fellow;
he'd rather he should die in wretchedness, than not have that
quite completed which he has promised. For I know that
this money is as surely forthcoming for my son, as that I look
upon this same walking-stick. But why am I delaying to go
to the Forum where I had intended
*
*
*
*
*
(Exit.
**
SCENE II.-Enter ARGYRIPPUS, from the house of CLEERETA,
addressing her within.
ARG. Is't thus it is,-me to be shut out of doors? Is this
the reward that's given to me who deserve so highly of you?
To him who deserves well you are unkind, to him who deserves
ill you are indulgent. But to your own misfortune, for now
'Why are you not walking)—Ver. 110. "Etiamne ambulas." Thornton, quoting
from Limiers, says, in reference to this passage, "This is a banter of the slave's,
who is rallying his master on the pain he is in, in walking supported by his crutch-
stick. There is a distinction made between 'ire,' which, the grammarians tell us,
is used to express walking fast, and 'ambulare,' 'to walk slowly,' or 'step by
step.'
''
2 Any occasion for me)-Ver. 119. "Si quid opus fuerit." This expression,
equivalent to ours, " if I am wanted," was made use of by the Romans when they
nad the intention of engaging in some occupation of importance.
Sc. II.
485
OR, THE ASS-DEALER.
from this spot will I go to the Triumvirs¹, and there I'll
take care your names shall be. I'll punish capitally your-
self and your daughter, you enticers, pests, and destruction
of young men! For, compared with you, the sea is not the
sea; you are a most dangerous sea. For on the sea did I
find it, here have I been cleaned out of my wealth. What
I have given, and what kindnesses I have done, I find them
all valueless for good, and thrown away. But from hence-
forth, whatever harm I shall be able to do you, I will do
it, and do it at your deserts. I' faith, I'll reduce you to the
verge of poverty, that state from which you have risen. By
my troth, I'll make you to know what you now are, and what
you once were; what you were before I visited that daughter
of yours, and, in my passion, bestowed upon her my affec-
tion; on coarse bread you were enjoying your life, in rags,
and in want. And if these you had, especial thanks did
you return to all the Divinities. Now, bad woman, you the
same person, when 'tis better with you, don't know me
through whose means it is so. From a wild beast, I'll make
you tame through hunger, only trust me for that³. But I
have no reason to blame your daughter herself; she does not
deserve it in the least. She acts by your command; she obeys
your bidding; you are her mother, you too her mistress. I'll
revenge myself on you; I'll ruin you; as you are deserving,
and as you merit at my hands. But look now, the hag, how
she really doesn't think me worthy for her to come to and
address and deprecate my resentment. But, see, the
enticer's coming out at last, I think. Here, before the
door, I'll address her in my own fashion, as I please, since
I'm not allowed to do so within.
1 To the Triumvirs)-Ver. 134. The "Tresviri," or "Triumviri," were in duty
bound to receive informations relative to public morals, and were empowered
to inflict summary punishment on persons of the rank and occupation o.
Cleareta. They have been more fully referred to in a previous Note. It will not
be forgotten that, though the scene is in Athens, Plautus is making reference to
Roman customs.
2 On coarse bread)-Ver. 145. "Sordido-pane." According to the Com-
mentators, this means brown bread with the bran in it. Terence, in his Eu-
nuchus, calls it "panis ater," "black bread" Juvenal calls it "dcg's bread."
Trust me for that)-Ver. 148. "Me specta modo." Literally, "enly look to
me."
486
Act L
ASINARIA ;
SCENE III.-Enter CLEÆRETA, from her house.
CLE. If any purchaser should come, he could not carry
him away from me each single word of those for gold Phi-
lippean pieces. What you say wrongfully against us is
good gold and silver. Your heart is locked up here with
us, at the helm of Cupid. With oars and with sails make
haste and fly as fast as you can; the further you betake
yourself to sea, the more the tide will bring you back to
harbour.
ARG. I' faith, I'll be depriving this custom-house officer¹ of
his dues. From henceforth I'll persist in treating you as you
have deserved of me and mine, since you have treated me
not as I deserve, in excluding me from your house.
CLE. I know that that is rather said with the tongue,
than that it will happen in deed.
ARG. I alone have brought you from obscurity and from
want; if I alone patronize you, you can never return suffi-
cient thanks.
CLE. Do you still be the only one to patronize me, if you
alone will always give me what I ask. Do you always keep
what has been promised you, on this condition, that you
surpass others in your presents.
ARG. What limit is there to be to giving? For really you
can never be satisfied; the moment that you've received
something, not very long after, you are devising something
for you to be asking for.
CLE. What limit is there to be to your enjoying yourself,
and to your indulging your amour? Can you never be satis-
fied? The moment that you have sent her home, that
instant, you are directly asking me to send her back to you.
ARG. In fact, I have given whatever you have demanded
of me.
CLE. And I have sent the damsel to you. A requital has
been given, like for like; a return for the money.
¹ This custom-house officer)—Ver. 163. "Istum portitorom privabo portitorio.”
Cleæreta has just mentioned "portus,"
" "the harbour," meaning her own house,
to which, despite of himself, Argyrippus will, by his own passion, be brought back
at last. He takes up the metaphor, and says that she, the landing-waiter (por-
titor), or custom-house officer, shall not, however, get her dues; meaning, that he
determined not to let her have any more of his money.
Sc. III.
487
OR, THE ASS-DEALER.
you
ABG. You treat me badly. CLE. Why do blame me if
I do my duty? For nowhere is it either feigned in story or
represented in pictures or written in poems, where a pro-
curess, who wishes to thrive, treats any lover well.
ARG. Still, 'twere right for you to show favour to me at
least, that I might last the longer for you.
CLE. Don't you know, the woman that shows favour to a
lover, that same woman shows little favour to herself? Just
like a fish, so is a lover to a procuress; he's good for nothing if
ne isn't fresh. Then it has juice, then it has sweetness; in any
fashion you like you may season it, either stewed or roasted;
in any way you will, you may turn it. So the lover; he's
ready to give, he longs for something to be asked of him, for
there it's taken from a full stock, nor does he know what
he's giving, or what mischief he's doing. Of this matter
does the new lover think; he wishes himself to please his
mistress, he wishes to please me, he wishes to please her
lady's maid¹, he wishes to please the men-servants, he wishes
to please the maid-servants as well, and even my dog does he
caress, that when it sees him, it may be delighted. I tell
the truth; it shows cleverness for every person to be fair-
dealing for his own advantage.
ARG. I've thoroughly learned that this is true, to my own
great misfortune.
CLE. I' faith, if you now had anything to give, you'd be
uttering different remarks; now, since you've got nothing,
you expect to be having her by means of harsh language.
ARG. 'Tis not my way. CLE. Nor yet mine, indeed, i'
faith, to be sending her to you for nothing; but this shali
be done out of regard for your youthful age and your own
sake, since you have rather been the cause of profit to us
than of reputation to yourself. If two talents of silver are
paid me down, reckoned in my hand, this night will I grant
you for nothing, as a present, by reason of my respect for you.
¹ Her lady's maid)-Ver. 187. "Pedissequa" seems to have been the name of
the female-servant, whose duty it was to be constantly in attendance on her
mistress; and who probably followed her in the street, whence her name.
2 Two talents of silver)—Ver. 197. The Attic silver, or Solonian talent, con-
tained 73-100th parts of the old Attic talent. It will be observed that the hag
is here adding just one hundred "mina" to her demand; but it is clear that
she is only doing so to provoke Argyrippus, and to amuse herself with hus
distress.
488
Act I,
ASINARIA;
ARG. What if I haven't it? CLE. I'll believe that you
haven't it—still, she shall go to another.
ARG. Where is that which I have given you already?
CLE. Spent; for if it was remaining to me, the damsel
should be sent to you, and I should never ask for anything.
Daylight, water, the sun, the moon, the night, these things I
purchase not with money; the rest, whatever we wish to
enjoy, we purchase on Grecian trust. When we ask bread
of the baker, wine from the wineshop-if they receive the
money, they give their wares; the same principle do I go upon.
My hands always have eyes in them; they believe what they
see. There's an old saying, "trusting is good for nought2;"
you know whose it is-I say no more.
ARG. Now I'm clean stripped, you tell me another tale; a
very different one, I say, you give me now from formerly,
when I was making presents; a different one from formerly,
when with kindness and good words you used to entice me to
your house. Then did your house even smile upon me, when I
used to come to you. You used to say that I alone of all loved
you and her. When I had given anything, just like the young
ones of a pigeon were you both upon my lips; and all your
likings were according to my own liking. You always kept
close to me; whatever I requested, whatever I wished, you
used to do; what I didn't wish and forbade, that, with care-
fulness, you used to avoid, nor did you first venture to attempt
to do it. Now, you jades, you don't much care either what I
do wish or what I don't wish.
CLE. Don't you know? This calling of ours is very like
¹ On Grecian trust)—Ver. 203. The Greeks were so noted for their want of
punctuality in their payments, that it became the general rule among them not
to give credit. Consequently, "Grecian trust" became a proverbial saying for
ready money."
2 Trusting is good for nought)-Ver. 207. "Nihili cocio est. The meaning
of this passage is obvious, that "trusting is bad;" but the signification of the word
"cocio" has puzzled the Commentators. Gronovius, with some probability,
suggests that it is the old form of the word "cautio;" meaning "one who goes
upon trust." It may either mean that, or "trusting," or "giving tick," as we
familiarly term it; indeed, it is not improbable that the word "cocio" may have
been a cant name for "credit." From the remark of Cleareta, we may conclude
that this was a proverbial expression, which had originated in being used by somo
famous person, or in some celebrated play of that day, all remembrance of which
has now perished.
Se. III.
489
OR, THE ASS-DEALER.
that of the fowler. The fowler, when he has prepared the spot,
sprinkles the food about. The birds are accustomed to the
spot. 'Tis necessary for him¹ to make an outlay, who seeks
for gain. They eat often; if they are caught once, they re-
imburse the fowler. So in like manner here with us. Our
house is the spot, I am the fowler, the courtesan is the
food, the couch is the decoy, the lovers the birds. By kindly
welcoming them, by addressing them courteously, by dallying,
and by chattering over the wine, and amusing conversation,
they are won. If one of them has touched her bosom, that is
not without advantage to the fowler. If he has taken a kiss,
him you may take without a net. That you should be
forgetful of these things, you who have been schooled so
long!
ARG. That's your own fault, in turning away from you a
scholar half instructed.
CLE. Come back again without hesitation, if you've got
the
pay; for the present, be off. (Pretends to go.)
ARG. Stay, stay; don't you hear me? Say what you
think it fair that I should give you for her, that for this year
she may be with no one else.
CLE. What, you? Twenty minæ. And on this condition:
if any other person shall bring them first to me, to you—
good-bye.
ARG. But I-
There's still something that I wish to
say to you before you go.
CLE. Say what you please. ARG. I'm not entirely ruined
yet; there's still something more left for me to come to
ruin. I have wherewithal to give you what you ask; but I'll
give it you on my own terms, that you may be enabled to
understand that throughout all this year she is to be at my
service, and that, in the meantime, she is to admit no other
man whatever to her, besides myself.
CLE. Why, if you choose, the male-servants that are at
home, I'll make eunuchs of. In fine, take you care and
bring articles of agreement that we will be as you wish.
Impose conditions upon us as you wish, and as you shall
choose. Do you only bring the money with you, I'll readily
''Tis necessary for him)-Ver. 221. "Necesse est facere sumptum, qui quærit
mcrum." Louis the Twelfth, the King of France, was always quoting this pro-
verb; but it has been remarked, that he failed to make it his rule of conduct.
190
Act IL
ASINARIA;
put up with the rest. The doors of procurers are very like
those of a custom-house officer; if you bring anything, then
they are opened; if there is nothing for you to give, then
the doors are not opened. (Goes into her house.)
ARG. (to himself). I'm undone, if I don't procure these
twenty minæ. And really, unless I make away with this
much money, I must come to destruction. Now I'll go to
the Forum, and make trial with my resources, with all my
endeavours. I'll beg, I'll earnestly entreat each friend as I
see him; both good and bad am I determined to apply to,
and make trial of. But if I can't borrow it, I'll take it up
at interest, I'm resolved. (Goes into the house of DE
MÆNETUS.)
ACT II.-SCENE I.
Enter LIBANUS, from the house of DEMENETUS.
LIB. Upon my faith, Libanus, it really were better for you
now to be waking, and to be devising some plan for pro-
curing the money. A long time has now elapsed, since you
parted with your master and went to the Forum. For that
end that you might devise some plan for procuring the
money, there till this time of day have you been sleeping at
your ease. Why don't you away with all slothfulness from
yourself, and remove all sluggishness, and betake yourself
again to your former dexterous ingenuity. Preserve your
master; take you care, too, how you do the same that other
servants are wont, who employ a clever ingenuity in cheating
their master? Whence shall I get it? Whom shall I diddle
out of it? Whither shall 1steer this fly-boat ? 'Tis settled,
'tis confirmed by auspices; on each side do the birds give good
omens. The woodpecker and the crow are on my right, the
raven, as well, upon my left. They are persuading me to it:
i' faith, I'm resolved to follow your advice. (Starts and
listens.) But what means this, that the woodpecker is tapping
the elm-tree? That's not for nothing. Troth, for certain,
so far as I can gather omens from augury, the rods are in
readiness for my own back, or for Saurea the chamberlain.
But what means this that Leonida is running this way out of
breath? I fear that this bodes ill for my trumped-up schemes.
(Stands apart.)
Sc. II
491
OR, THE ASS-DEALER.
SCENE II.-Enter LEONIDA, running.
LEON. (to himself). Where now shall I find Libanus, or
my master's son, that I may make them more mirthful than
is Mirth herself¹? Great booty and a triumph do I bring
them on my arrival. Inasmuch as together with me they
drink, together with me they are wont to wench, why, this
booty that I've got, together with them will I share it.
LIB. (apart). This fellow has been robbing a house, if he
has been acting after his usual manner.
Woe to the person
that has so carelessly kept the door!
LEON. (to himself). I could be ready to be a slave for an
age, if I could only meet with Libanus.
LIB. (apart). I' faith, with my assistance, indeed, you
shall never be free a bit the sooner.
LEON. (to himself). I'd give two hundred teeming lashes
on my back as well.
LIB. (apart). He's giving away all his substance, for he
carries his treasures on his back³.
LEON. (to himself). But if time should intervene upon
this opportunity, never, upon my faith, will he hereafter obtain
it again, even with white horses*. He'll be deserting his
master in the siege; he'll be increasing the courage of the foe.
But if with me he is desirous to seize hold upon this oppor-
tunity which has presented itself, very great bounties brimful
of joyousness, will he, together with myself, be producing for
his masters, both for the son and the father. So that, for
life, they will be indebted to us both, bound by our services.
LIB. (apart). He's talking of persons being bound, I don't
1 Mirth herself)-Ver. 271. "Lubentia," or "Venus lubentina," was the
Goddess of pleasure, mirth, and delight.
2 Teeming lashes)-Ver. 280. "Plagas prægnantes." Literally, "pregnant
stripes"-"blows that generate other blows."
3 Treasures on his back)—Ver. 281. "Talk of giving," he says, "stripes on
his back are all that he has to give."
4 With white horses)-Ver. 283. White horses were most esteemed by the
ancients, and were supposed to excel others in swiftness.
5 Talking of persons being bound)-Ver. 289. He catches, or pretends to catch,
the two last syllables of the word "devincti," "obligated," and then says that
Leonida is speaking of people being "vincti," "chained" or "bourd." This ha
deems, or pretends to deem, to be ominous of il
492
Act II
ASINARIA;
know who. I don't like it; I fear for us in common, lest he
may have been cheating in some cheatery.
LEON. (to himself).. I'm utterly undone, unless I find Li-
banus at once, wherever in the world he is.
LIB. (apart). This fellow's looking out for an accomplice,
to unite with himself in a bad design. I don't like it: 'tis
a portentous sign that instant, when a person trembles that
sweats¹.
LEON. (to himself). But why, as I hasten, do I loiter here.
with my feet, and make myself so bounteous with my tongue ?
Why don't I bid it be quiet, that in its talkativeness is
wearing out the day?
LIB. (apart). Upon my faith, an unfortunate man, to
check his patroness; for if he has done anything roguishly,
his tongue perjures itself in his behalf.
LEON. (to himself). I'll make haste, lest I should be pro-
viding a safe keeping for my spoil too late.
LIB. (apart). What spoil is this? I'll go meet him,
and enquire what it is. (He accosts him.) I wish you
health in as loud a voice as my strength admits of.
LEON. Exerciser of the whip, health to you.
LIB. Keeper of the gaol, how do you do?
LEON. Ha! colonizer of the chains. LIB. Ha! delight of
the scourges.
LEON. When naked, how many pounds do you say you
are in weight?
LIB. Upon my faith, I don't know. LEON. I know that
you don't know; but, i' faith, I who have weighed you do
know. Tied up naked, you were a hundred pounds in weight,
when you were hanging with your feet downwards.
LIB. On what evidence is that? LEON. I'll tell you on
what evidence, and in what way. When you are tied up
with a full hundred pounds to your feet2, when the manacles
¹ Person trembles that sweats)—Ver. 293. Probably Leonida is out of breath
and in a perspiration; Libanus considers this as a bad omen. By his remark he
is supposed to allude to the "sudiculum," a kind of scourge, which received its
name from making those sweat who were punished with it.
2 Пundred pounds to your feet)—Ver. 307. When slaves were hung up by th
ms to be scourged, it was usual to fasten heavy weights to their feet, to prevent
them from kicking those who scourged them. The poor wit of Leonida seems to
Sc. II.
493
OR, THE ASS-DEALER.
are fastened to your hands, and tied to the beam, you are
weighing neither more nor less, than as being a worthless
and good-for-nothing fellow.
LIB. Woe be to you! LEON. That, Servitude bequeaths
to you by her will.
LIB. I wish this skirmishing of words to be cut short.
What matter is this ?
LEON. Am I sure in trusting you?
LIB. You may, without hesitation. LEON. If you wish to
assist our master's son in his amour, there is so much of a
good opportunity on a sudden, but still mingled with evil-all
the hangman's days will be rendered famous by ourselves.
Libanus, now have we occasion to find some boldness and
inventiveness. An exploit so great have I thought of just
now, that we two may be pronounced the most deserving of
all for torture to befall us.
LIB. 'Twas on that account I was wondering why my
shoulder-blades were aching just now, which were beginning
to prognosticate that there was some danger for them at
home. Whatever it is, speak out.
LEON. 'Tis great booty with great risk.
LIB. If indeed all persons by compact were to collect all
the tortures, I have, I fancy, a back at home, so that I need
not seek it out of doors.
LEON. If you maintain such firmness of resolve, then we
are all right.
LIB. Why, if the matter were to be atoned for by my back,
I could wish to seize the public money: I'll persist in my
denial, and I'll endure all; in fine, I'll forswear myself.
LEON. Ah! that's true valour, when occasion is, for one to
endure misfortune with boldness. He that endures misfor-
tune with boldness, that man afterwards enjoys good for-
tune.
LIB. Why don't you tell the matter at once? I'm longing
to tempt the scourge.
LEON. (breathing hard). Ask deliberately each particular
then, that I may rest me. Don't you see that I'm still out
of breath with running?
have this meaning: punning upon the word "pendeo," which signifies either "to
nang from" or
แ
to weigh," he says, that when Libanus is tied up with the weight
at his feet, he weighs just as much as the weight and no more; for, being
worthless fellow, he has no weight whatever as a good man.
494
Act II
ASINARIA ;
LIB. Well, well, I'll wait your pleasure, even, in fact, til.
you die.
LEON. Where's our master, pray ?
LIB. The old one is at the Forum, the young one is here
in-doors.
LEON. That's enough for me then. LIB. Is it then that
you've become a rich man ?
LEON. Leave off your raillery. LIB. I'll have done; for
my ears are in expectation of what you are bringing me.
LEON. Give your attention, that equally with myself you
may learn this.
LIB. I'm silent, then. LEON. You oblige me. Don't you
remember that our chamberlain sold some Arcadian asses to
a dealer of Pella¹?
LIB. I remember it; after that, what then?
LEON. Well, he has sent some money here then to be
paid to Saurea, for the asses; a young man has just now
come who has brought this money.
LIB. Where is this person?
LEON. You think he ought to be devoured this instant, if
you could see him.
LIB. Aye, to be sure. But, however, you are speaking, I
suppose, of those asses, aged and lame, whose hoofs were
quite worn away to their very thighs ?
LEON. Those same ones, that carried the elm twigs hither
from the country, for your use.
LIB. I understand you; and the same ones carried you
from here, bound, into the country2.
LEON. You say what's quite correct. But as I was sitting
in the barber's shop, he began to make enquiries of me,
whether I knew a certain Demænetus, the son of Strato. At
once I said that I knew him, and that I was his servant; and
I pointed out our house.
LIB. After that, what then? LEON. He said that he was
bringing the money for the asses to the chamberlain Saurea,
twenty minæ in amount; but that he himself didn't know.
¹ Dealer of Pella)—Ver. 337. Pella was a wealthy city of Macedonia, famed
for the opulence of its merchants. It was the birthplace of Alexander the
Great.
of
Bound, into the country)-Ver. 345. Namely, to the "ergastulum," or
"puteus," the place to which refractory slaves were sent for hard labour, and
which was generally at the country-house ofthe master.
Sc. II.
495
OR, THE ASS-DEALER.
the individual, who he was, but that he knew De nænetus
quite well. Since he spoke thus to this effect
CC
LIB. What then? LEON. Listen then, and you'll know.
At once I made myself courteous, and a person of con-
sequence. I said that I was the chamberlain. Thus, in
these terms did he answer me: Upon my faith, I don't know
Saurea, nor yet of what appearance he is. It isn't fair for you
to blame me; but if you like, bring here Demænetus, your mas-
ter, whom I do know; I'll not prevent you taking the money
then." I said that I would bring him, and that I should
be at home immediately. He's about to go to the baths¹,
from there he'll afterwards come here. What plan do you
think, now, I ought to adopt? Tell me.
LIB. Why, I'm thinking of this, how to get between the
money, and the stranger, and Saurea. At present this matter
is rough-hewn; but if this stranger brings here the money
first, then are we both at once shut out from it. But the
old man to-day took me apart at a distance from the
house, and threatened me and yourself that we should be
tasters of the elm twigs, if Argyrippus didn't this very day
get twenty minæ of silver. He commanded that we should
cheat either the chamberlain or his own wife, and said that he
would give the aid he promised. Now, do you go to the
Forum to our master, and tell him this, how we are going to
manage; that you, from Leonida, are going to be the cham-
berlain Saurea, until the dealer has brought the money for
the asses
LEON. I'll do as you request me.
LIB. In the meantime, I'll amuse him here, if by chance
he should come first.
LEON. But what say you? LIB. What do you want?
LEON. If I give you a blow on the cheek with my fist,
by-and-by, while I'm personating Saurea, don't you be
offended.
LIB. I' faith, but you'll have a care not to be touching me,
To go to the baths)-Ver. 368. It was very natural that after a long journey
he should first go to the barber's shop, and then repair to the public baths to re-
fresh himself.
² Personating Saurea)—Ver. 375. Saurea, as the "atriensis,” "chamberlain
or "gentleman-usher," was the head of the slave family; and it was his privilege
to beat the other slaves, if they offended him or neglected their duties.
496
Act II
ASINARIA
if you are wise; you'll surely have changed your name to
day with a bad omen¹.
LEON. Prithee, do endure it with resolution.
LIB. Do you endure the cuff that I, too, shall be giving
you in return.
LEON. I speak as it's in the habit of being done.
LIB. I' faith, and I speak, too, of how I'm likely to act.
LEON. Don't refuse me.
LIB. Why I promise, I tell you, to give you a like return,
just as you deserve.
LEON. I'm off; I know that you'll put up with it by-
and-by. But who's this? 'Tis he-'tis the very man him-
self. I'll return here just now; in the meantime do you
detain him here; I want to inform the old gentleman.
LIB. Well, do your duty, then, and fly.
(Exit.
SCENE III.Enter the ASS-DEALER with a Boy.
Ass-D. (to himself). According as it was pointed out to me,
this must be the house where Demænetus is said to live. (To
the Boy.) Go, boy, and knock, and call Saurea the chamber-
lain out here, if he's in-doors. (The Box goes to knock.)
LIB. Who's breaking in our door in this fashion? Enough
there, I say, if you hear me at all.
Ass-D. No one has touched it as yet: are you out of
your senses?
LIB. Why I thought that you had touched it, because you
were steering your course in that direction. I don't want
the door, my fellow-slave2, to be thumped by you; I really
am attached to our house.
Ass-D. I' faith, there's no fear of the hinges being broken
off the doors, if you answer all who make enquiries in this
fashion.
1 Your name to-day with a bad omen)-Ver. 377. Limiers says that this is said
in allusion to his having assumed the name of "Saurea," which meant "
or "scourge."
• :ash'
2 My fellow-slave)—Ver. 390. He so calls the door, from the fact of its being
under the control of the "janitor," or "doorkeeper," who was also a slave. Ovid
has a similar passage in his Amores, B. 1, El. 6, 1. 74. In his address to the
46 'janitor," he says, "Duraque conserva, ligna, valete, fores' "And you, ye doors
equally slaves, hard-hearted blocks of wood, farewell"
Se. IV.
497
OR, THE ASS-DEALER.
LIB. This door is of this habit; it cries out at once for the
porter, if it sees any door-kicker at a distance coming towards
it. But what are you come for? What are you enquiring
about?
Ass-D. I wanted Demænetus.
I would tell you so.
LIB. If he were at home,
Ass-D. Well, his chamberlain then? LIB. No more is
ne at home.
Ass-D. Where is he? LIB. He said he was going to the
barber's.
Ass-D. Hasn't he returned, since he went there?
LIB. I' faith, he hasn't. What did you want?
Ass-D. He was to have received twenty minæ of silver, if
he had been in.
LIB. What was it for? Ass-D. He sold some asses at
market to a dealer from Pella.
LIB. I understand; you are bringing it now. I think that
he'll be here just now.
Ass-D. Of what appearance is your chamberlain Saurea ?
If it's he, I shall be able to know at once.
LIB. Lantern-jawed, with reddish hair, a little pot-bellied,
with glaring eyes, middling stature, sour aspect.
Ass-D. A painter couldn't have more correctly described
his appearance
And, i' faith, I see the very man; he's
coming this way, wagging his head.
LIB. Whoever gets in his way when he's in a passion, he'll
be for striking him.
Ass-D. By my faith, if, indeed, he were coming filled with
the threats and the courage of the grandson of acus¹, if
he were to touch me in his wrath, in his wrath he would be
getting a thrashing.
SCENE IV. Enter LEONIDA, counterfeiting SAUREA.
LEON. (to himself). What's this to do here? Not a person
cares a bit about my orders! How did I order Libanus to
come to the barber's shop, and he didn't come at all. I'
faith, for sure he hasn't consulted well for his back and
his legs.
1 Of the grandson of Eacus)-Ver. 409. He alludes to the wrath of Achilles
the son of Peleus, and grandson of Eacus, "the direful spring" of the Grecian
woes. with which the Iliad commences.
2 K
498
Act II.
ASINARIA;
Ass-D. (to himself). This is a very overbearing fellow.
LIB. (to the Ass-DEALER). Woe to me this day!
LEON. I bid welcome to Libanus, the freed-man! Are you
set at liberty now?
LIB. I do implore you. LEON. In good sooth, to your
great misfortune surely have you fallen in my way. Why
didn't you come to the barber's shop, as I ordered you?
LIB. (pointing to the Ass-DEALER). This person de-
ained me.
LEON. I' faith, if in fact you were now to say that supreme
Jove had detained you, and he were present to sue for you,
you shouldn't escape the evil consequences. Whip-knave,
did you disobey my orders? (Offers to strike him.)
LIB. (to the Ass-DEALER). Stranger, I'm done for.
Ass-D. Prithee, Saurea, for my sake, don't beat him.
LEON. I wish, now, I had a whip in my hand-
Ass-D. Prithee, do be appeased. LEON. With which to
lash your sides, which have grown callous with blows. (To the
ASS-DEALER, who interposes.) Stand off this way; let me be
the death of this fellow who is continually inflaming me with
anger—a thief to whom I can never once enjoin a single thing,
but that I must command the same things a hundred times,
and din them in his ears¹. For that reason, now, by my troth,
what with bawling and passion, I cannot endure the labour.
Have you, you rascal, (pointing) ordered this dirt to be re-
moved hence from the door? Have you ordered the labours
of the spiders to be swept down from the pillars? Have
you ordered those bosses on our door2 to be brought to
brightness? It's of no use; I must walk about with a stick,
as though I were a lame man. Because only for these single
three days I have been giving my constant attendance at
the Forum, in order to find some one who requires money
upon interest, here, in the meantime, are you sleeping at
home, and my master is living in a pigstye, not in a house.
(He strikes LIBANUS.) There now, take you that.
LIB. (to the Ass-DEALER). Prithee, stranger, do take my
part.
¹ Din them in his cars)—Ver. 427. "Obganniam." This word literally signifies
"to bark like a fox."
2 Bosses on our door)-Ver. 431. The "bullæ," or "bosses," here mentioned,
were large heads of brass or gilt nails with which the doors of the Roinans were
oruamented.
Sc. IV.
499
OR, THE ASS-DEALER.
Ass-D Saurea, for my sake, I entreat you, do let him go.
LEON. Hark you! has any one paid for the carriage of
that olive oil?
LIB. He has paid. LEON. To whom was it given?
LIB. To Stichus himself, your deputy. LEON. Tut! you'rə
trying to mollify me¹. I know that he is my deputy, and that
there isn't a servant in the house who is more valuable to
his master than he is. But the wines that I sold yesterday
to Exærambus, the wine merchant, has he yet paid Stichus
for them ?
LIB. I think he has, in full; for I saw Exærambus himself
bringing hither his banker.
LEON. On such terms would I always deal²; before, what
I've trusted, I've hardly been paid within a year after.
Now he's quite in a hurry; even of his own accord he brings
him to the house, and writes a transfer of the moneys.
LEON. Has Dromo paid down the wages agreed upon?
LIB. Less than half, I think. LEON. What about the re-
mainder ?
LIB. He said that he would pay it directly it was paid¹ to
him; for it was retained until he had finished the work that
was agreed on to be done by him.
LEON. The cups that I lent to Philodamus, has he brought
them back ?
LIB. Not yet. LEON. What, not yet? If you wish to
make a present, lend to a person that is a friend-
1 Trying to mollify me)—Ver. 439. Inasmuch as he pretends to be jealous of
Stichus enjoying the favour of the pretended Saurea, and being appointed his
"vicarius," or "deputy," in preference to himself.
2 Would I always deal)—Ver. 444 "Sic dedero." Camerarius and Lam-
binus give these words a rather far-fetched meaning, and think that they signify,
"I had rather give away my commodities, than sell them and be so ill-paid."
>>
3 Writes a transfer of the money)-Ver. 445. "Scribere nummos seems here
to have the usual meaning of "rescribere nummos," to "transfer or set down
money to the account of another person in one's banker's books."
4
♦ Directly it was paid)—Ver. 448. It was the custom with the owners of slaves
to let out their services for a specified sam. He pretends that Dromo is a slave
that has been let out by him for a job, and enquires whether the money is paid,
on which he is told, that he has only been paid half, inasmuch as the job is not
yet finished, and that the other half is retained until he has completed it.
5 Wish to make a present)—Ver. 450. At the suggestion of Gronovius, "dare
is read, in this line, with a comma after it, instead of "da," the usual reading.
In the latter case the passage would read, " if you choose, do a service for a
friend," which certainly has not the point of the other version.
2 x 2
500
Act II.
ASINARIA;
1
Ass-D. (aside). I' faith, I'm quite undone; he'll be just
now driving me away with his ill-temper.
LIB. (in a low voice to LEONIDA). Hallo! you, enough
Do you
hear what he's saying?
now.
LEON. (in the same way tɔ LIBANUS). I hear, and I'll have
done.
Ass-D. (aside). At last, I think, he has done: now it's best
to accost him before he commences again to prate. (To
LEONIDA.) How soon, sir, will you give me your attention?
LEON. Oh, by all means-have you been here any time?
Troth, I didn't observe you; pray, don't lay it to my charge:
anger has so blinded my eyesight.
Ass-D. 'Tisn't to be wondered at. But if he's at home,
I was wanting Demænetus.
LEON. Libanus says that he isn't within. But still, if
you like to pay that money over to me, I'll give you an
acquittance that the account is discharged as to that item.
Ass-D. This way rather, for me to pay you in the presence
of your master, Demænetus.
LIB. My master knows him, and he my master.
Ass-D. In his master's presence, I'll pay him.
LIB. At my peril, so you only pay him, I'll engage the
matter's safe. For if our old gentleman were to know that
confidence wasn't placed in him, to whom he himself always
entrusts the management of all matters, he would be angry.
LEON. 1 don't much care; don't let him not pay it, if he
don't like; so let him stand here.
LIB. Give it him, I say. Oh dear, I'm sadly afraid that
he'll be thinking that I've persuaded you not to trust him;
prithee, do give it and don't be afraid. Upon my word, it
will be safe.
Ass-D. I think it will be-so long, indeed, as I myself keep
it in my hand. I'm a stranger; I don't know Saurea.
LIB. Well, know him now then.
Ass-D. It may be he, it may not be he; ï' faith, I
know not; if it's he, why then it must be he. I know for
sure that I shall give this up to no person that I don't
know.
LEON. (aside). Troth now, may all the Gods confound the
fellow. (Aloud to LIBANUS.) Take care you don't entreat him
with a word. He's arrogant, because he's fingering my twenty
Sc. IV.
501
OR, THE ASS-DEALER.
minæ. No one will take it. (To the Ass-DEALER.) Take
yourself off home, be off from here, and don't be troublesome.
Ass-D. You are in too angry mood: it isn't right for a
person who is a slave to give himself airs.
LIB. By my faith, to your own great misfortune now are
you talking uncivilly to him. Dirty, worthless fellow, don't
you see he's angry ?
LEON. (to the Ass-DEALER). Be off then.
LIB. (to the Ass-DEALER). Scoundrelly fellow. (Aside to
him.) Prithee, do give him the money lest he should abuse
you.
Ass-D. On my word, you are seeking evil for yourselves.
LEON. (to LIBANUS). By the powers, your legs shall be
broken¹, if you don't proclaim this shameless fellow.
LIB. Troth, I'm undone. Be off, you shameless fellow.
LEON. You rascal. LIB. (to the ASS-DEALER). Won't
you venture to assist me, you rascal ?
LEON. Do you persist in soliciting the scamp?
Ass-D. How's this? (To LEONIDA.) Do you, rascal, who
are a slave, speak abusively to a free man?
LEON. Give him a beating. Ass-D. By my faith, that
surely shall befall yourself to get a beating as soon as ever I
shall see Demænetus this day. I summon you to judgment?.
LEON. I shan't go. Ass-D. You won't go? Remem-
ber
LEON. I do remember.
faction out of your back.
Ass-D. I' faith, I'll have satis-
LEON. Woe unto you? What, villain-satisfaction to be
given by us to you indeed?
Ass-D. Aye, and even this very day satisfaction shall be
given me for your abusive language.
LEON. How now, whip-knave? How say you, hang-dog?
Do you suppose that we shall run away from our master? Go
1 Your legs shall be broken)—Ver. 479. One of the most cruel punishments
inflicted on refractory or runaway slaves was that of breaking their legs. To
effect this, their legs were extended upon an anvil, and then struck with a bar of
iron or a hammer.
"
2 Summon you to judgment)-Ver. 485. "In jus vocare,' "to summon into
court," was the term applied when one party lodged a criminal information against
another.
502
Act II.
ASINARIA
this instant then to our master, where you were citing us
just now, and where you were wishing to go.
Ass-D. What, now at last? Still, you shall never get a
coin of money away from me, unless Demænetus shall order
me to give it.
LEON. Do so. Come, move on then. Are you to offer
insults to another person, and are they not to be repeated to
yourself? I'm a man as much as you are.
Ass-D. No doubt such is the fact.
LEON. Follow me this way, then. With your good leavel
I would now say this: not a person has ever accused me by
reason of my deserving it, nor is there in Athens one other
individual, this day, whom they would think they could as
safely trust.
Ass-D. Perhaps so: but still, you shall never this day per-
suade me to entrust to you, whom I don't know, this money,
A man to a man is a wolf2, not a man, when the other doesn't
know of what character he is.
LEON. Now at last you are appeasing me³: I was sure
that this day you would give satisfaction to this poor head of
mine; although I'm in mean garb, still, I'm well to do, nor
can an estimate of my means be formed from it.
Ass-D. Perhaps so. LEON. Still more then I tell you:
Periphanes, a merchant of Rhodes, a rich man, in the ab-
sence of my master, himself alone paid over to me, in
private, a talent of silver, and trusted me, nor was he de-
ceived in it.
1 With your good leave)—Ver. 495. "Præfiscini." It was a common notion
among the ancients, that if a person spoke in commendation of himself, he stood
in danger of fascination-the effect of envy or enchantment on the part of anothe“
person. For this reason, on such occasions they prefaced with the word " præ-
fiscini," understanding "dixerim," "I would say." This meant "without im-
peachment of malice," "be it spoken in a good hour," or, as we say, "by your
.eave."
2 Man to a man is a wolf)—Ver. 499. There was an ancient proverb, “Homo
homini lupus," "Man is to man a wolf." It probably implied much the same as
the more celebrated words of a modern Poet:
Man's inhumanity to man makes countless thousands mourn.
* You are appeasing me)—Ver. 500. This he seems to say in a spirit of irony.
Huic capitulo" is literally "to this little head." meaning, to this humble
individual, myself.”
Sc. IV.
503
OR, THE ASS-DEALER.
. Ass-D. Perhaps so. LEON. And you, too, yourself, as
well, if you had enquired about me of other people, would,
i' faith, I'm quite sure, have entrusted to me what you now
have with you.
Ass-D. I don't deny it.
ACT III.-SCENE I.
(Exeunt.
Enter CLEERETA and PHILENIUM, from the house of the
former.
CLE. And am I unable to render you obedient to my in
junctions? Or are you so disposed as to be free from the
control of your mother ?
PHIL. How could I propitiate Piety¹, if I could desire to
please you, being endowed with these manners, after the
fashion, mother, that you enjoin upon me?
CLE. Is it consistent with propriety for you to oppose my
precepts ?
PHIL. HOW SO? CLE. Is this worshipping Piety, to lessen
the authority of a mother?
PHIL. Those who act right I blame not, nor do I love
those who do wrong.
CLE. You are a very prating, lovesick girl.
PHIL. Mother, that is my living.
His tongue woos
me, his person seeks me, his passion pleads, opportunity
prompts.
CLE. I was purposing to convince you. Are you come as
my accuser?
PHIL. By my troth, I neither do accuse you, nor do I
think it right I should do so; but I do complain of my lot,
when I am separated from him whom I love.
CLE. Will then one bit of the whole day's talk be left for
myself?
PHIL. Both my share of the speaking and your own do I
give up to you. Do you yourself keep the signals both for
Could I propitiate Piety)—Ver. 510. She thinks that the Goddess "Putas"
wil be shocked at her want of kind and grateful feeling, if she consents to turn
Argyrippus out of doors.
* That is my living)—Ver. 516. It is hard to say which she means as the
source of her profit-whether her loving propensities, or her fund of talkative-
ness, for which her mother is censuring her. The next line is spoken with re-
ference to her passion for Argyrippus.
3 Keep the signal)-Ver. 523. "Portisculum." According to some writers
portisculos was a name of the "pausaurius" or "hortator," called by the
H
501
Act III.
ASINARIA ;
speaking and for being silent. But, i' faith, if I only put up
my oars in the boat-house¹, while I'm resting, all the welfare
of the household is at a standstill for you.
CLE. How say you, the out and out most insolent woman
that ever I saw ? How often have I forbidden you to speak to
Argyrippus, the son of Demænetus, or to touch him, or to hold
discourse with him, or to look at him? What has he ever
given? What has he ordered to be brought to our house? Or
do you fancy to yourself that smooth words are gold ?-that
clever speeches are as good as presents ? Of your own
accord you fell in love with him; of your own accord you go
after him; of your own accord you request him to be sent
for to you. Those who are givers, those same you laugh
at; those who are cheating us, you are dying for. If any
one promises you that he'll make you rich when his mother
dies, ought you to be waiting for that? I' faith, a great risk
impends over ourselves and the household, that we may
of hunger while we are awaiting her death. Now therefore,
unless he brings me here twenty mine of silver, upon my
word, though profuse of his tears, he shall certainly be turned
from here out of doors. This day's the end of 2 excuses for
poverty at my house.
die
PHIL. If, my mother, you were to order me to go without
victuals, I would submit.
CLE. I don't forbid you to love those who give that for the
sake of which they ought to be loved.
PHIL. What, mother, if this inclination of mine is fixed?
What am I to do? Tell me.
CLE. Oh dear-look at my head³, if, indeed, you consider
your own interest.
PHIL. Even the shepherd, mother, that feeds the sheep
Greeks KeλevσTηs, an officer whose duty it was to order the rowers to keep
time. In the present passage, it seems rather to signify the hammer, or other
instrument, which that officer held in his hand, for the purpose of beating time,
to regulate the motion of the rowers; not unlike the baton of the conductor of a
band.
¹ In the boat-house)-Ver. 524. "In casteriâ." Nonius Marcellus informs us
that "casteria" was a house, in which the oars, rudders, sails, and tackle, were
kept, when the ship was laid up in dock.
2 The end of)—Ver. 531. "Summa" seems a preferable reading to "summæ
³ Look at my head)—Ver. 543. She tells her daughter to look at her grey hairs
meaning that she must make a provision against old age, when her admirers wil
forsake her, and she will bave no means of gaining a livelihood.
Sc. II.
505
OR, THE ASS-DEALER.
of another, has a certain one of his own to be the consoler of
nis hopes. For the sake of my affection, do allow me to
love Argyrippus only, who is my choice.
CLE. Go in-doors, for, upon my word, there is really
nothing more impudent than yourself.
PHIL. Mother, you have given birth to a daughter obe-
dient to your commands. (They go into the house.)
SCENE II. Enter LEONIDA and LIBANUS.
LEON. Great praise and thanks we give deservedly to per
fidy, when relying upon our tricks, our stratagems, and our
devices, upon our confidence in our shoulder-blades and the
hardihood resulting from the elm-twigs so oft applied, against
the whips, the searing-irons, the crosses, and the fetters, the
cords, the chains, the prisons, the stocks, the shackles, the
collars, and taskmasters most cruel and well acquainted with
our backs, who many a time before have imprinted¹ scars
upon our shoulder-blades; by conquering, now, these legions,
troops and armies of thieves, by our prowess, through our
perjuries, O brave, have we gained the victory. This, through
the valour of this comrade of mine, and through my own
courtesy, has been brought about.
LIB. What man is there more firm than myself at enduring
stripes ?
LEON. By the powers, you who can extol your exploits
now, as I can do exploits, which in peace and in warfare
you have so villanously performed; verily, in troth,
many in number may they be now recounted according to
your deserts; where you have defrauded him that trusted
you, where you have proved faithless to your master, where
knowingly and wilfully you have on solemn oath been per-
jured, where you have bored through party walls, where you
have been detected in theft, where you have full oft pleaded
your cause, as you hung up, against eight clever, hardened
fellows, sturdy stripers.
LIB. Certainly I do admit, Leonida, that it is true as you
say. But verily, in troth, your many misdeeds, too, may be
1 Have imprinted)-Ver. 556. The sense of the passage seems to require a
comma after "indiderunt," and not a period, as Richter's edition has it.
2 Eight clever, hardened fellows)—Ver. 568. These were probably the eight
Lictors who attended the "Fresviri" or Triumviri," which magistrates had espe
sial jurisdiction over slaves with the power of ordering summary punishment.
606
Act III.
ASINARIA;
recounted as well and truly; where wilfully you have proved
faithless to the trusting, where you have been detected in
theft and scourged in public, where you have proved for
sworn, where you have laid hands on sacred things, where to
your masters you have full oft proved a loss, a trouble, and a
disgrace, where you have stoutly denied that that was given
to you which had been entrusted to you, where you have
proved more faithful to your wench than to your friend, where
through your hardihood you have frequently reduced to wea-
riness eight sturdy lictors, armed with pliant twigs of elm.
(To the AUDIENCE.) Is the compliment ill repaid in the way
that I've praised my comrade?
LEON. Just as befits both me and yourself, and our dis
positions.
LIB. Now drop this, and answer me this that I ask.
LEON. Enquire of me what you please.
LIB. Have you got the twenty silver minæ ?
LEON. Guess
Upon my word, the old gentleman,
Demænetus, has been very obliging to us. How cleverly he
pretended that I was Saurea. With the greatest difficulty
did I withhold my laughter, when he rebuked the stranger,
because in his absence he had been unwilling to put confi-
dence in me; and with what readiness did he call me Saurea
the chamberlain.
LIB. Stop a moment. LEON. What's the matter?
LIB. Isn't this Philenium that's coming from in-doors, and
Argyrippus with her.
LEON. Keep silence, 'tis he; let's listen quietly to them.
In tears, she holds him, weeping, by the lappet of his gar-
ment; what, I wonder, am I to say is the matter?
LIB. Let's listen in silence. LEON. Dear me, a thought,
I' faith, has just come into my mind; I very much wish I had
a long stick here.
LIB. For what reason? LEON. With which to beat these
asses¹, if perchance they should begin to bray out here, from
within the bag. (They stand apart.)
SCENE III.-Enter ARGYRIPPUS from the house of CLEA-
RETA, followed by PHILENIUM.
ARG. Why are you holding me back?
¹ To beat these asses) — Ver. 593. He means the money which was to have peon
paid for the assos.
Sc. III.
507
OR, THE ASS-DEALER.
PHIL. Because, as I love you, I cannot bear your de
parting.
ARG. Farewell.
PHIL. I should fare somewhat better, if
you were to remain here.
ARG. Blessings on you. PHIL. Do you wish for blessings
on me, to whom you are bringing disease by your departure ?
ARG. Your mother has bid me the last farewell; she has
requested me to go home.
PHIL. A bitter death will she cause her daughter, if I must
part from you.
LIB. (apart, to LEONIDA). Troth now, the man has been
turned out of doors there.
LEON. (apart). Such is the fact. ARG. Prithee, do let
me go.
PHIL. Whither are you going now? Why don't you stay
here ?
ARG. This night, if you choose, I'll stay.
LIB. (apart). Don't you hear him? How profuse he is of
his attentions by night. But now, in the daytime, he's en-
gaged; surely he's a Solon to write laws whereby the public
may regulate itself. Psha! those who would be in readiness
for themselves to pay obedience to his laws, would decidedly
never do any good; they would be drinking night and day.
LEON. (apart). Troth now, for sure, he wouldn't budge a
foot from her if she would let him, who is now in such haste,
and is threatening that he's going away from her.
LIB. (apart). Now make an end of your talk, that I may
catch his discourse.
ARG. Farewell! PHIL. Whither are you hastening?
ARG. Kindly fare you well! I shall see you in the other
worlds. For indeed now, so soon as I can, I shall sever my-
self from life.
1 Bid me the last farewell)-Ver. 598. The word "vale," "farewell," is here un-
derstood, and reference is made, figuratively, to the usage of exclaiming "vale'
when fire was set to the funeral pile. In saying that she bade him go home.
he refers to the expression with which the ceremony concluded, “ilicet,” “you
may go away," or you may go home."
แ
2 He's a Solon)—Ver. 603. Solon was one of the wise men of Greece, and the
great lawgiver of the Athenians. He was remarkable for the severity of his
morals.
3 in the other world)-Ver. 610. "Apud Orcum." Orcus was a name of the
Shades below, and was also an epithet of the God Pluto
508
Act III.
ASINARIA;
PHIL. Prithee, why, while I do not deserve it, do
to consign me to death?
you wish
ARG. I-you? whom, if I were to hear that you were in
want of life, at once would I present you my own life, and
from my own would add to yours.
PHIL. Why, then, do you threaten that you will quit
life? For what do you suppose that I shall do, if you do
that which you are talking of? I'm determined to do
everything exactly the same to myself that you do to your-
self. ARG. O! sweeter than honey are you to me.
PHIL. And surely you are my life. Embrace me.
ARG. I do so with pleasure. (They embrace.)
PHIL. Would that thus we might be carried to the tomb.
LEON. (apart). O Libanus, how wretched is the man that
loves.
LIB. (apart). Aye, but surely, faith, the man that's hang-
ing up is much more wretched.
LEON. (apart). I know that, who have had experience of
it. Let's go round them: let's accost them, one on the
one side, one on the other. (One walks towards them from
each side.)
LIB. Health to you, master. But is this female, smoke,
that you are embracing?
ARG. Why SO ? LIB. Because your eyes are filled with
tears; 'twas for that reason I asked.
ARG. One who would have been a protector to you, you
Lave lost.
LIB. I' faith, I surely haven't lost one; for this reason, be
cause I never had one.
LEON. Health to you, Philenium.
PHIL. What you desire, the Gods will give you.
LIB. I could desire your favours, and a cask of wine, if
wishes were to come to pass.
ARG. Whip-knave, beware how you speak a word.
LIB. Why, 'tis for you, not for myself, I wish it.
ARG. For that reason, then, say on what you please.
LIB. (pointing to LEONIDA). Troth, I'd like to give him
a beating.
LEON. Who, pray, would allow you to do so, you frizzle-
• The man that's hanging up)—Ver. 621. He alludes to the punishment of the
taves, which has been before referred to.
Sc. III.
509
OR, THE ASS-DEALER.
pated¹ mountebank? Could
Could you thrash me, you, who reckon
as your daily food your own thrashings?
ARG. How far superior, Libanus, are your lots to my own,
who never will live this day until the evening.
LIB. For what reason, prithee? ARG. (pointing to PHI-
LENIUM). Because I'm in love with her, and she's in love
with me, and nowhere have I anything to bestow upon her;
for that reason has her mother expelled me with all my
affection from her house. The twenty mine of silver have
brought me to my end, which the young man, Diabolus, de-
clared that he would give her this day, in order that she
mightn't send her anywhere, for this whole year, except to
himself. Don't you see of what force are twenty minæ of
silver, or what they can effect? The man who parts with
them is happy; I, who part not with them, am undone.
LIB. Has he already paid the money?
ARG. He hasn't paid it. LIB. Be of good courage; don't
be afraid.
LEON. (to LIBANUS). Step this way, Libanus, I want you.
LIB. Certainly, if you want anything. (Steps aside,
putting his hand on the shoulder of LEONIDA.)
ARG. I entreat of you, is it more pleasant in this same
matter for you to discourse hugging one another?
LIB. Understand, master, that all things are not equally
sweet to all persons. 'Tis pleasant for you lovers to converse,
hugging one another; I care nothing for his hugging (point-
ing to LEONIDA), and (pointing to PHILENIUM) she despises
mine. Do you then yourself do that which you would be
suggesting to us to do.
ARG. Indeed I will, and really with pleasure, i' faith.
(Placing his arm round PHIILENIUM's neck.) In the mean-
time, if it seems good to you, do you step aside there.
LEON. (to LIBANUS). Should you like our master to be
bantered a bit ?
>>
1 You frizzle-pated) — Ver. 631. "Calamıstrate means dressed with tha
'calamistrum," "a crisping-pin," or iron tube with which the hair was curled.
2 IIas he already paid)—Ver. 642. “Jam dedit argentum ?" This is curi
ously rendered by Gucudeville, "Ce Monsieur le Diable a-t-il déjà donné son
argent ?" which, literally translated, is, "Has this Mister Devil already paid
his money ?" He appears to have taken a rather unwarranted liberty in trans
lating the name "Diabolus" by the term "le Diable"-neither more nor less than
the French name of his Satanic Majesty.
510
Act III.
ASINARIA;
LIB. IIe really is deserving of it.
LEON. Should you like me, in his presence, to make Phi
lenium embrace me?
LIB. I' faith, I should like it. LEON. Follow me this way
(They join ARGYRIPPUS.)
ARG. Is there any escape at all ?
enough ?
Have you conversed
LEON. Listen, and give attention, and devour my words.
First of all, that we are your slaves, we don't deny; but if
twenty silver mine are forthcoming for you, by what name
will you call us?
ARG. Freed-men. LEON. And not patrons ?
ARG. That in preference. LEON. (produces the bag).
Here are twenty mine in this bag. These, if you like, I'll
give you.
ARG. May the Deities ever preserve you, protector of your
master, honor to the people, treasury of resources, preserver
of my inner man¹, and commander of love; place it here, put
down that bag, here on the spot, at once².
LEON. I don't like you, who are my master, to carry this
load.
ARG. Still, do you rid yourself of the trouble, and fasten
that bag to myself.
LEON. I'll carry it, porter-like; you, as befits my master,
go, without any burden, before me.
ARG. How now? Why's this? Why don't you give up
the bags here, for your master to feel its weight ?
LEON. Bid her to whom I'm about to give it, to beg and
entreat it of me. For that's a dangerous spot where you bid
me put it down at once.
PHIL. (lo LEONIDA). Apple of my eye, my rose, my life,
my delight, Leonida, do give me the money, and don't sever
us lovers asunder.
1
LEON. (to PHILENIUM). Call me, then, your little spar-
¹ Of my inner man)—Ver. 660. “Interioris corporis." Literally, "of my inner
body." This is a periphrasis signifying life, the seat of which, the vital parts,
are within the body.
2 On the spot, at once)-Ver. 661. "In loco plane." These words seem to
imply not in a hanging position, but clean or pat upon the ground. Warner,
nowever, renders the passage, "Tye the bag around my neck." It was probably
the intention of Argyrippus to take it after Leonida had fairly put it down.
ກ
Give up the bag)-Ver. 665. "Crumenam seems a better reading than
crumena,' which Richter adopts.
Sc. III.
511
OR, THE ASS-DEALER.
row, your chicken, your quail, your pet lamb: say that I'm
your pet kid or your pet calf; take me by the ears, press
your lips to my lips.
Ang. She, kiss you, you whip-scoundrel? LEON. Really,
how unbecoming it does seem! But, by the powers, you
shan't get it this day, if my knees are not embraced.
ARG. (aside). Necessity compels to anything. (To LEO-
NIDA.) Let them be embraced (kneels down and embraces his
knees): now give what I'm asking for.
PHIL. Come, my Leonida, prithee do bring safety to your
master thus in love. Redeem yourself from him by this ser-
vice, and purchase him for yourself with this money.
LEON. You are very pretty and amiable; and if this were
mine, you should never this day ask me for it, but I would
give it you 'tis better for you to ask it of him (pointing to
LIBANUS), for 'twas he gave it me to keep for him. Ap-
proach him then prettily, my pretty one. (Delivers the bag
to LIBANUS.) Take this, please, Libanus.
ARG. Scoundrel, are you still trifling with me?
LEON. I' faith, I should never have done so, if you hadn't
embraced my knees so roughly. (Aside to LIBANUS.) Come,
please, in your turn, do you at once have some sport with
him, and give her an embrace.
LIB. (aside to LEONIDA). Hold your tongue; trust me for
that.
ARG. Why don't we accost him, Philenium? (pointing to
LIBANUS)-really, a very worthy fellow, upon my faith, and
not like this thief (pointing to LEONIDA).
LIB. (aside to LEONIDA). We must walk up and down;
now, in my turn, they'll be entreating me.
ARG. By heaven, Libanus, I do entreat you, be pleased by
your deeds to come to your master's rescue; do give me
those twenty mine: you see that thus in love I stand in
need of them.
LIB. It shall be seen to; I wish it done; return here at
nightfall. Now bid her, ever so little, to beg and entreat them
of me.
PHIL. (to LIBANUS). Do you wish me to begin with ca-
ressing, or with kissing you?
LIB. Why, really, with them both. PHIL. And do you
then, I do entreat you, prove the saving of us both.
512
Act Ill
ASINARIA;
ARG. O Libanus, my patron, do give me that; 'tis more
becoming for the freed-man', than for the patron, tc be
carrying a burden in the street.
PHIL. My Libanus, golden apple of my eye, the gift and
the very grace of love; there's a dear, whatever you wish,
I'll do; prithee, do give us that money.
LIB. Call me, then, your little duck, dove, or your pup-
pet; your swallow, jackdaw, little sparrow, your mannikin:
make of me the reptile that crawls, so that I may have
a double tongue²; enfold me in your arms, and embrace my
neck.
ARG. She, embrace you, villain? LIB. Really, how un-
deserving I do seem. You shan't for no purpose have
uttered a speech so unseemly against me. By my troth, if
indeed you expect to get this money, this day you shall carry
myself on your shoulders.
ARG. What? I, carry you? LIB. Otherwise, you shan't
get this money from me.
ARG. Heavens, I'm undone! Still, if indeed it is de-
corous for the master to carry the servant, mount.
LIB. In this way are proud people wont to be tamed.
Stand still then, just as you were wont to do when formerly
a boys. Do you understand what I say? (He prepares to
get upon the shoulders of ARGYRIPPUS.) Aye-so-move on :
I praise you much; not any horse is there more clever than
vourself as a horse.
ARG. (while stooping). Get on, directly. LIB. I'll do so.
(He gels on.) Hallo!-what's the matter? How are you
going? By my troth, I'll deprive you of your barley then,
if you don't amble, lifting up your feet.
ARG. Prithee, Libanus, there's enough now.
LIB. Never this day, by my troth, shall you get anything
"
1 For the freed-man)-Ver. 694. By "libertus," or freed-man," he means
himself, while Libanus is his "patronus," or "patron.”
2 A double tongue)-Ver. 699. An unseemly allusion is intended in this ex-
pression.
3 When formerly a boy)-Ver. 707. "Honi soit qui mal y pense" should be said
to Lambinus and the other Commentators, who have imagined an indelicate allusion
to be couched under these words. He clearly alludes to the boyish game of leap-
frog, at which they had in childhood been accustomed "to make a back."
"Badizas." This is an adaptation of the
↑
♦ If you don't amble)-Ver. 710.
Greek verb Badiçw, "to go."
Sc. III.
513
OR, THE ASS-DEALER.
by entreaty. For now up hill with the spur will I push on my
steed. After that, I'll deliver you to the millers, that there
you may be tortured as you run¹. Stand still, that I may
now at once get down for the hill, although you are but a bad
one. (Gets off his shoulders.)
ARG. Well now-since you've both made fun of me just as
you liked, are yo 1 going to give the money?
LIB. Why, yes, if, indeed, you erect to me a statue and an
altar, and then sacrifice an ox to me here as though to a God;
for I am the Divinity Salvation to you.
LEON. Nay, but, master, do you betake yourself away from
him, and do you come to me. And, what he has demanded for
himself, will you erect a statue for me, and offer prayers to me?
ARG. But what Divinity am I to call you?
LEON. Fortune, and that the Propitious one2. ARG. You
are better than he then.
LIB. Why, is there ever anything better for a man than
Salvation?
ARG. Though I praise Fortune, still, not to speak in dis-
praise of the Divinity Salvation-
PHIL. By the powers, but they are good, both of them.
ARG. I shall know it, when they have conferred anything
that's good.
LEON. Wish for that which you desire to befall you.
ARG. What if I do wish it ? LEON. It shall come to pass.
ARG. I wish for her to be devoted to me alone this whole
year round.
LEON. You have obtained it. ARG. Do you really say so?
LEON. I do say so for certain. LIB. Come to me, in my
turn, and make trial: wish ardently for that which you
especially desire to happen to you; it shall be done.
ARG. What other thing could I ardently wish for rather
than that of which I am in want? Oblige me with twenty
silver mine to give to her mother.
LIB. They shall be given: take care and be of good courage,
your wishes shall be fulfilled.
ARG. Just as they are wont, Salvation and Fortune are
deceiving mortals.
1 Tortured as you run)-Ver. 715. He alludes to the cation of asses and
worn-out horses in grinding at the corn-mill.
• And that the Propitious one)-Ver. 720. "Fortuna Chsequens," or
patious Fortune," had a Temple at Rome.
" Pro
2 L
514
AC IV.
ASINARIA
LEON. I this day have been the head in finding this money
for you.
LIB. I have been the foot. ARG. Why, neither head nor
foot of your talking is visible; I can understand neither what
you mean, nor why you are trifling with me.
LIB. I think that now you've been teased enough; now
let's disclose the matter as it really stands. Give your atten-
tion, Argyrippus, if you please. Your father has ordered us
to bring this money to you.
ARG. How very à propos and opportunely you have
brought it.
LIB. (giving him the bag). Here, in this, there will be twenty
good minæ, obtained by bad means: these, on certain condi-
tions, he bade us give you.
ARG. Prithee, what are they? LIB. That you would grant
him her favours and an entertainment.
ARG. Bid him come, I beg. For him who deserves it right
well, we'll do what he wishes, him who has brought these
scattered loves of ours to a happy result.
LEON. You'll permit your father then, Argyrippus, to caress
her?
ARG. She, by being restored to me, will easily cause me to
permit it. Prithee, Leonida, run, and beg my father to come
here. LIB. He has been in the house some time.
ARG. He hasn't come this way, at all events.
LIB. (pointing to the back way). He came round that way¹
by the lane, through the garden, lest any one of his friends
should see him coming here; he's afraid that his wife may
come to know of it. If your mother knew about the money,
how it was obtained-
ARG. Well, well-do use words of good omen²; go in-doors
quickly, farewell.
LEON. And you two, love on. (He and LIBANUS go into
the house of DEMENETUS; ARGYRIPPUS and PHILENIUM into
that of CLEERETA.)
ACT IV.-SCENE I.
Enter DIABOLUS and a PARASITE, with a scroll in his hand.
DIAB. Come now, show me this agreement that you've
¹ Came round that way)—Ver. 746. Well he might!
2 Use words of good omen)-Ver. 749. "Benedicite." This was a form medo
se of for the purpose of averting bad omens.
Sc. 1.
515
OR, THE ASS-DEALER.
written out between myself and the procuress. Read over
the conditions; for you are a quite unique composer¹ in such
matters.
PAR. I'll make the procuress be terrified when she hears
the conditions.
DIAB. Troth now, prithee, proceed and read them over
to me.
PAR. Are you attending? DIAB. I'm all attention.
PAR. (reads the agreement). "Diabolus, the son of Glaucus,
has made a present to Cleæreta, the procuress, of twenty
silver minæ, that Philenium may be with him night and day
for this whole year."
DIAB. Yes, and not with any other person.
PAR. Am I to add that? DIAB. Add it, and take care
and write it plainly and distinctly.
PAR. (writes it down, and then reads). “And not admit any
other man whatever, because either her friend or her patron,
she may choose to call him-
""
DIAB. Not any one! PAR. "Or because she
PAR. “Or because she may say that
he is the lover of a female friend of hers. The door must be
closed to all men except to yourself. On the door she must
write that she is engaged. Or, because she may affirm that the
letter has been brought from abroad, there is not to be even
any letter in the house, nor so much as a waxed tablet; and if
there is any useless picture2, let her sell it; if she does not part
with it, within four days from the time when she has received
the money of you, let it be considered as your own; you to burn
it if you like; so that she may have no wax, with which she
may be able to make a letter. She is to invite no guest; you
are to invite them. On no one of them is she to cast her eyes:

"}
¹ A quite unique composer)—Ver. 752. "Poeta" is here used in the primary
sense of the word, from the Greek Toŋтns, “a maker, แ artist," or
triver."
con-
2 Any useless picture)-Ver. 768. Some of the Commentators have sup
posed that indecent or immodest pictures are here meant. Such is not the
act. Portraits were taken among the Romans in profile, in wax, which was
aid on a plane surface; and probably other pictures were similarly con-
tructed. In his jealousy, Diabolus will not allow Philenium to keep any useless
r valueless picture, for fear lest she may melt it, to use the wax for tablets, as
medium of correspondence with a paramour. To a portrait of this kind, Lao-
amia probably refers in her Epistle to Protesilaüs, in the Heroides of Ovid, 1. 133 :
But while as a warrior thou shalt be wielding arms in a distant region, I have
waxen figure which represents thy features."
2 L2
516
Act IV.
ASINARIA
if she looks upon any other person, she must be blind forth-
with¹. Then she is to drink cup by cup equally with yourself.
She is to receive it from you; she is to hand it to you for you
to drink. She is not to have a relish for less or for more
than yourself."
DIAB. That's quite to my taste.
PAR. (readino). “She is to remove all causes of suspicion
from her, nor is she to tread on any man's foot2 with her foot;
when she rises she is neither to step upon the next couch, nor
when she gets down from the couch is she thence to extend her
hand to any one; she is not to give to nor ask of any one a
ring for her to look at; she is not to present dice to any man
whatever except to yourself; when she throws³ them, she is
not to say, 'You I call upon,' she is to mention your name.
She may call on any Goddess that she pleases as propitious to
her, but on no God: if she should chance to be very full of
devotion, she is to tell you, and you are to pray to him that he
may be propitious. She is neither to nod at any man, wink,
or make a sign. In fine, if the lamp goes out, she is not to
move a single joint of herself in the dark."
DIAB. That's very good; so, in fact, she must do: but ex-
punge that about the chamber; for my part, I prefer that she
should move. I don't wish her to have an excuse, and to say
that it is forbidden her by her vow.
PAR. I understand, you fear some quibble.
PAR. Then as you bid me, I'll strike it out.
DIAB. And why not? PAR. Hear the rest.
DIAB. Say on, I'm listening.
DIAB. Just so.
(Erases it.)
PAR. (goes on reading). "And she is not to use any shuffling
words, nor is she to know how to speak in any tongue but
the Attic. If perchance she should begin to cough, she is
not to cough so as to expose her tongue to any one in cough-
ing. But if she should pretend as though she had a running
1 Must be blind forthwith)-Ver. 775. This is probably a polite way of saying
"Let her leave the room forthwith."
2 Tread on any man's foot)—Ver. 780. From passages in Ovid's Amours and
Art of Love, we learn that this was a favourite method of communication by in
triguing parties.
-
• When she throws)-Ver. 785. When throwing the dice, it was the custom t
Invoke some favourite object, which was thought to bring good luck to th
thrower. See the Notes to the Captivi, Act I., Sc. 1. She is not to say, "You
invoke," lest, by the ambiguity, it should be intended to apply to another man
Lua not to her protector
Sc. I.
517
OR, THE ASS-DEALER.
at the nose¹, even then she is not to do so; you yourself must
wipe her lips, rather than that she should open her mouth
before another person. And her mother, the procuress, 18
not to come in in the middle of the wine, nor is she to utter
a word of abuse to any one; if she does so speak, let this be
her fine, to go for twenty days without wine.'
DIAB. You have written it nicely; a clever agreement.
PAR. "Then, if she bids her maid-servant carry chaplets,
garlands, or unguents, to Venus or to Cupid, your servant is
to watch whether she gives them to Venus or to a man.
If perchance she should say she wishes to keep herself in
purity, let her account for as many nights as she has kept
herself in purity. These are no trifles; for they are no
funeral dirges."
DIAB. The conditions please me entirely; follow me in-
doors. PAR. I follow. (They go into the house of CLLÆRETA.
*
*
*
X
ACT V4-SCENE I.
*
Enter DIABOLUS and the PARASITE.
*
DIAB. Follow this way. Am I to put up with this, or
shall I hold my tongue ? I would rather die than not dis-
cover this to his wife. And say you so, old man?
With a
mistress would you be acting the part of a youngster?
Would you be excusing yourself to your wife, and calling
yourself an aged man? Would you be taking the mistress
from her lover? And would you be presenting the money to
the procuress, and be secretly pilfering it from your wife at
home? You should hang me, rather than you should carry
off these matters undiscovered. On my honor, I'll really
¹ A running at the nose)-Ver. 801. The meaning seems to be, that if her
nose runs by reason of a catarrh, she is not to open her mouth to put her tongue
out, but that Diabolus is, in common parlance, to wipe her nose for her.
2 Keep herself in purity)-Ver. 811. He probably alludes to the festival of
Isis or Ceres, on which occasion it was usual for the female votaries rigidly to
separate themselves from the society of men. The translation of the next line is
somewhat modified.
3 No funeral dirge)-Ver. 813. "Mortualia" were the songs which hired
female mourners sang at funerals; and which, as being especially worthless, were
pre-eminently called “nugæ,” or "trifles."
* Act V.) One scene, at least, is clearly lost here, as we are not informed how
Diabolus has become acquainted with the manoeuvres to obtain the money,
and the disgraceful compact made by Demænetus; although, not improbably, ha
nas caught sight of him in the honse of the procuress.
518
Act V.
ASINARIA;
go tais instant hence to her whom I'm sure that you'll very
soon be destroying, in order that you may be able to supply
your extravagance, unless, indeed, she shall first prevent you.
PAR. I'm of opinion that thus you must act. 'Tis more
becoming that I should disclose this matter, rather than
yourself, lest she may think that you, excited by reason of
love, rather than for her own sake, have acted thus.
DIAB. Why, faith, you say what's right. Do you then
contrive to raise a storm and strife against him, that he, to-
gether with his own son, is carousing with one mistress the
livelong day, and that he's secretly pilfering from her.
PAR. Don't suggest to me. I'll take care of that.
DIAB. But I'll wait for you at home. (Exit DIABOLUS;
the PARASITE goes into the house of DEMENETUS.)
SCENE II.—A Table, and everything requisite for an Enter.
tainment, being placed before the house of CLEERETA,
enter ARGYRIPPUS, DEMENETUS, and PHILENIUM, from
the house of CLEÆRETA.
ARG. Come then, father, let's take our places, please.
DEM. As you bid me, my son, so it shall be.
ARG. (to the ATTENDANTS). Lads, spread the table.
DEM. Is it at all displeasing to you, son, if she takes her
place by me? (They take their places.)
ARG. Duty, father, keeps sorrow from my eyes; although
I love her, still I can control my feelings, not to take it to
heart because she takes her place by you.
DEM. It becomes a young man to be respectful, Argyrippus.
ARG. Troth, father, through proper regard for you, I can
be so.
DEM. Come, then, let's enjoy this banquet with wine and
pleasant discourse. I don't wish to be feared, I prefer my-
self to be loved by you, my son.
ARG. In truth, I do them both, as is proper for a son.
DEM. I'd believe it, if I saw you were cheerful.
ARG. Why, do you think that I'm sorrowful?
DEM. Do I think so? You, whom I see as melancholy as
if the day¹ of trial had been named for you.
ARG. Don't you say that. DEM. Don't
I'll not say so.
you be so, then
¹ As if the day)-Ver. 815. He probably means the day for coming up for judg
ment, or else for trial.
Sc. III.
OR, THE ASS-DEALER.
519
ARG. Well then, look at me; I'm laughing. (He affects
to laugh.)
DEM. I'd like that those who wish me ill would laugh thus.
ARG. I know, indeed, father, why you now suppose to
yourself that I'm sad; it is because she is by you. And really,
father, by my faith, to tell you the truth, that matter does
hurt me; and not for this reason, that I don't desire for you
that which you wish, but because I love her; another woman,
indeed, I could easily endure to be by you.
DEM. But I have a fancy for this one.
ARG. Then you have what you desire; for myself, I wish
for what I could desire.
DEM. Submit to it this one day, since I've given you the
power to be with her for a year, and have procured for you
the command of money in your amour.
ARG. Well, by doing that, you have laid me under an
obligation to you.
DEM. Why then don't you show yourself cheerful to me ?
(They commence the banquet, PHILENIUM reclining below DE-
MENETUS.)
SCENE III¹.—Enter ARTEMONA and the PARASITE, from the
house of DEMANETUS, at the further side of the stage.
ART. Prithee, do you say that my husband is carousing
here, together with my son ?-and that he has carried to his
mistress twenty minæ of silver ?—and that, with the know-
ledge of my son, his father is perpetrating this wickedness?
PAR. Trust me in nothing henceforth, either divine or
human, Artemona, if you find me untruthful in this matter.
ART. Wretched then am I, who have supposed that, be-
yond others, my husband was sober, decent, chaste, and espe-
cially fond of his wife.
PAR. But now, henceforth, understand that he, before all
men, is a person of the smallest worth-a drunkard, a good-
for-nothing fellow, unchaste, and a contemner of his own wife.
¹ Scene III.)—In the early part of this Scene, the wife and the Parasite do not
see Demænetus, who is carousing in the front of Cleareta's house, at the other
side of the stage. We must remember that the Roman stage was of vast extent
-as much, according to some writers, as 180 feet in width. Perhaps a wa..
extended a little forward by the side of the house, which would preclude the view
of what was going on behind it and near to the door until Artemnona and tků
Parasite had traversed the stage.
520
Act V.
ASINARIA
ART. I' faith, if this wasn't true, he would never be doing
the things that he is now doing.
PAR. Upon my word, I too always hitherto took him to be
a decent person; but by this action he declares himself, to
be carousing, indeed, together with his son, and, a decrepit
old man, toying with a mistress in his company.
ART. For this it is, i' faith, that he's going out to dinner
every day. He says that he's going to Archidemus, Chereas,
Chærestratus, Clinius, Chremes, Cratinus, Dinias, Demos-
thenes while he's thinking of debauchery, and public dens
of infamy with his harlot.
:
PAR. Why don't you bid your maid-servants carry him off
home upon their shoulders?
ART. Do you only be quiet. By my troth, I'll surely give
him some trouble.
PAR. I'm sure of it, that so it will befall him, so long,
indeed, as you shall continue married to him.
ART. I was fancying that this fellow was still giving at-
tendance either in the senate or to his dependants: that for
that reason it was, that, worn out with fatigue, he snored the
whole night through. Wearied with his labours out of doors
he comes home at night. Another's farm he ploughs, his own
ne leaves untilled. Both he himself is corrupted, and he cor-
rupts his son as well.
PAR. Do you only follow me this way, I'll make you just
now to fall upon the man himself in the very fact.
ART. By heaven, there's nothing that I could more wish for.
PAR. Just stop there. (He moves stealthily forward, and
examines the other side of the stage.)
ART. What's the matter? PAR. (returning to her). If
perchance you were to see your husband reclining, if you be-
held his with a garland on, caressing a mistress, could you
recognize him?
ART. I' troth, I could. PAR. (points to the other end of
the stage). Then there's your man.
ART. (moving stealthily forward with the PARASITE). I'm
undone.
PAR. Stay a little. Let's observe in private, from ambush,
what business they are about.
ARG. What end will you put to your caresses, father?
DEM. I confess, my son
ARG. What do you confess P
Sc. III.
521
OR, THE ASS-DEALER.
DEM. That I'm utterly undone with love for her.
PAR. (to ARTEMONA). Do you hear what he says?
ART. I hear.
DEM. (to PHILENIUM). Ought I not to filch the mantle
from my wife at home, which she is so fond of, and bring it to
you? Though my wife's life should last a whole year in con-
sequence, by my troth I could not be dissuaded from doing so.
PAR. (to ARTEMONA). Do you suppose that he has been
accustomed to frequent a brothel to-day for the first time?
ART. Upon my faith, it was he that was pilfering me;
whereas I was suspecting my maid-servants, and was torment-
ing the wretched creatures who were innocent all the while.
ARG. Father, bid him pour out some wine; 'tis a long
time since I drank first¹.
DEM. (to the SERVANT). Begin, boy, from the top. (To
PHILENIUM). Come, do you meanwhile from below give me
a kiss. (Kisses her.)
ART. (to the PARASITE). Wretch that I am, I'm undone!
How the villain, the garnishing of a biers, is kissing away.
DEM. A breath, by my faith, somewhat sweeter than that
of my wife.
PHIL. Tell me, there's a dear, does the breath of your wife
smell bad ?
DEM. I'd prefer to drink bilge-water, if it were necessary,
rather than kiss her.
ART. (apart). By heavens, you are a wretch. PAR. (apart).
I' faith, he's deserving so to be.
ARG. How say you, father? (Takes a draught in the mean-
while.)
ART. (apart). Aye, pray, how say you? By my troth, to
your own great detriment, you've surely said that against
me. Never mind; only do you come home, I'll let you know
¹ Since I drank first)-Ver. 896. They probably took the first draught each in
his turn. Argyrippus tells his father that he is dry, and that it is a long time
since he had the first draught.
2 From the top)-Ver. 897. We are to suppose that the three are reclining or.
one “triclinium," or couch. Argyrippus lies at the top, his father below him,
and Philenium the lowest, with her head reclining on the old man's breast.
ог
Of a bier)-Ver. 898. "Capulus" was another name of the "lectica
"ferctrum," on which the corpse was carried to the funeral pile. In the case of
rich people, the "capuli" were sometimes made of ivory, and covered with gold
and purple.
522
Act V.
ASINARIA
what danger there is in speaking abusively against a wife
with a dowry.
ARG. Don't you love my mother?
DEM. Who-I? I love her just now, because she isn't
present.
ARG. How, when she is present ?
DEM. Then, I wish she was dead. PAR. (apart to ARTE-
MONA). This fellow is fond of you, according to what he says.
ART. On my word, he's surely laying out all this at
interest; for if, this day, he returns home, I'll especially
have my revenge in kissing him.
ARG. (handing the dice-box). Father, throw the dice; that
afterwards I may have a throw.
DEM. By all means. You, Philenium, for myself, and death
for my wife. (He throws.) 'Tis Venus's cast¹. Lads, clap
your hands, and give me some honeyed wine in my cup, in
honor of my throw.
ART. (apart). I can hold out no longer.
PAR. (apart). If you haven't learned the fulling trade², it's
not to be wondered at; now it's quite fitting for you to beset
his eyes. (They make their appearance before the revellers.)
ART. By heavens, I will live, and you this day have made
that invocation to your own great misfortune.
PAR. Will some one run to fetch the undertaker³ ?
¹ Venus's cast)-Ver. 911. "Venereus jactus" was the best throw on the set of
four "tali," or knuckle-bone dice, used by the ancients. It is supposed to have
been a combination of the numbers, the sum of which was fourteen. When
trying to throw the "Venereus jactus," it was usual to mention the name of the
mistress of the thrower; and Demænetus throws in "death to his wife," by way of
supplement. From the next line, he appears to have been successful in his
throw.
2 Пaven't learned the fulling trade)-Ver. 913. He intends a pun here upon the
word "durare," which meant either "to endure," "bear," or "hold out;" as
also "to full," "harden," or " thicken cloth," by the fuller's art. Artemona says
that she cannot " durare" in the first sense; on which the Parasite quibbles, ana
says, "Because you have not learnt the fulling art." In the next line also a play
upon words is intended, as "invadi in oculos " may mean either "present yourself
before his eyes or "attack his eyes," and claw them out. No doubt the
Parasite would have relished the fun, if she had taken his advice in the latter
sense.
3 The undertaker)—Ver. 916. The "pollinctores" were slaves, who belonged
to the "libitinarii," or "undertakers," and whose duty it was to anoint the body
with oil and perfumes before it was burnt.
Sc. III.
523
OR, THE ASS-DEALER.
ARG. Health to you, mother. ART. Health indeed after
this fashion!
PAR. (aside). Demænetus is dead. 'Tis time to betake
myself hence: this battle bravely waxes hot. I'll be off to
Diabolus. I'll tell him his orders are performed as he de-
sired them; and in the meantime I'll persuade him that we
should take a meal, while these people are squabbling.
Afterwards, in fine, I'll bring him here to-morrow, to the
procuress, that he may give her the twenty minæ, that, in his
turn, he in his passion may be enabled to obtain this damsel.
I hope that Argyrippus will be able to be prevailed upon to
allow him to pass each alternate night with him in her com-
pary; for, unless I obtain that, I've lost my patron¹; so
great is the passion of the man by reason of his love. (He
quietly withdraws.)
ART. (addressing PFZENIUM). What business have you
to give a retreat here yoyour house to my husband ?
PHIL. Troth, he ly will this day be the death of
wretched me, through Jeer disgust.
ART. (to DEMENETUS). Rise, wencher, be off home.
DEM. I'm undone. ART. Yes, you are2; don't, i' faith,
gainsay it, you most vile of all men. Why, the cuckoo's
still on his nest³. Rise, wencher, be off home.
DEM. Woe to me! ART. You prophesy correctly. Rise,
wencher, be off home.
DEM. Step a little this way then.
ART. Rise, wencher, be off home. DEM. Now, prithee,
wife-
ART. Do you remember now that I'm your wife? It was
but just now, when you were heaping abuse upon me, that
I wasn't your wife.
ART. Why, pray? Does
DEM. I'm utterly ruined.
the breath of your wife smell strong?
DEM. It smells of myrrh. ART. Have you filched my
mantle then to be giving to your harlot ?
My patron)-Ver. 925. "Regem." Literally, "my king;" the name which
Parasites bestowed upon their patrons.
2 Yes, you are)-Ver. 928. He says, "nullus sum," in the sense of "I'm un-
done;" but she chooses to take it as though he had meant "I am a worthless
fellow," which meaning these words are capable of bearing.
3 Cuckoo's still on his nest)-Ver. 929. The cuckoo takes possession of the
nests of other birds, and lays its eggs there. Artemona probably alludes to that
fact, on seeing her husband under such disgraceful circumstances.
524
Act V
ASINARIA.
ARG. By the powers-what, did he promise that he would
filch your mantle ?
ART. Won't you hold your tongue ?
1
ARG. I was going to dissuade him, mother. ART. (to
ARGYRIPPUS). A pretty son! (To DEMENETUS.) Is it
proper for a father to teach these morals to his children ?
Are you ashamed of nothing ?
DEM. I' faith, if there's nothing else, I'm ashamed of
you, wife.
ART. With your hoary head, your wife is dragging you,
you cuckoo, from dens of infamy.
DEM. The dinner's cooking; mayn't I stop, only to take
my dinner?
ART. Faith, you'll dine to-day on a heavy mishap, as you
deserve.
DEM. (rising). I shall repose but uncomfortably; my wife
is taking me home condemned.
ARG. I told you, father, not to evise ill against my
mother.
PHIL. (to DEMANETUS). Do remember about the mantle¹,
there's a dear.
DEM. (calls out to CLEERETA). Won't you order her to
go away from here ?
PHIL. No, I'll go in, in preference. (To ARGYRIPPUS.)
Follow me this way, my life.
ARG. Yes, I follow. ART. (to DEMANETUS). Be off home.
PHIL. (to DEMENETUS). Do give me a kiss, at least, be-
fore you go.
DEM. (to PHILENIUM). Go hang yourself.
The COMPANY of the COMEDIANS.
(Exeunt.
If this old fellow, unknown to his wife, has been in any
way indulging his own inclinations, he has been doing nothing
new or wonderful, or otherwise than others are in the habit
of doing. No one is there of a disposition so severe, or of a
temper so firm, but that he will enjoy himself when he has
any opportunity. Now if you wish to interpose in behalf
of this old man, so that he be not punished, we think that
it can be brought about if you give us loud applause.
1 About the mantle)-Ver. 945. This she says by way of farewell banter to
the old fellow, whom she is too happy to get rid of.
CURCULIO; OR, THE FORGERY
Dramatis Personæ.
CURCULIO, the Parasite of Phædromus.
THERAPONTIGONUS, a Captain of Caria.
PHÆDROMUS, a young man in love with Planesium.
PALINURUS,
Cook,
Lyco, a Banker.
Servants of Phædromus.
CAPPADOX, a Procurer.
THE CHOREGUS (or, Director of the Chorus).
AN ACTOR.
PLANESIUM, a young woman belonging to Cappadox.
AN OLD WOMAN, a Procuress.
Seexo-Epidaurus, in Peloponnesus; before the houses of PHEDROMUS AD
CAPPADOX, and the Temple of Esculapius.
THE SUBJECT.
1
PHÆDROMUS is desperately in love with Planesium, who is in the possession of
Cappadox, an avaricious Procurer. Not having the means of obtaining her
freedom, Phædromus sends Curculio, his Parasite, to Caria, to borrow the
money from a
friend. The friend being unable to lend it, Curculio by accident
meets a military officer, named Therapontigonus, and is invited by him to dinner.
The Captain accidentally mentions to him that he has agreed to purchase Plane-
sium of the Procurer, and that the money is deposited with Lyco, the banker, who
has been ordered, on receiving a letter signed with the Captain's signet, to have
the young woman delivered to the bearer. While the Captain is overpowered
with wine, Curculio steals his signet, and hastens back to Epidaurus, where he
forges a letter by means of it, which he delivers to Lyco, as though from the
Captain. The money is paid to the Procurer, and Planesium is handed over to
Curculio; a condition having been previously made, that if she should turn out to
be a free woman by birth, the money shall be repaid to the purchaser. Curculio
then delivers Planesium to Phædromus. The same day, the Captain arrives at
Epidaurus, and is soon after recognized by Planesium as her brother, through
the medium of the ring, which had belonged to her father. To corroborate her
assertion, Planesium produces another ring, which Therapontigonus had pre-
sented to her when a child as a birthday present. On this, she is given by her
protner in marriage to Phædromus; and Cappadox, much against his will, 10
forced to refund the money to the Captain.
CURCULIO; OR, THE FORGERY.
THE ACROSTIC ARGUMENT.
[Supposed to have been written by Priscian the Grammarian.]
On an errand of Phædromus, Curculio (Curculio) goes to Caria, that (Ut) le
may obtain some money; there he despoils the rival (Rivalem) of Phædro-
mus of his ring. He writes a letter, and seals it with that seal. Lyco, when
he sees it, recognizes (Cognoscit) the seal of the Captain; that (Ut) be may
send him his mistress, he pays the money to the Procurer. The Captain
threatens to summon Lyco (Lyconem) and the Procurer to justice: he himself
(Ipsus) discovers his sister that was lost, at whose request (Oratu) he gives
her in marriage to Phædromus.
ACT I.-SCENE I. (Before daybreak.)
Enter at one side of the stage PHEDROMUS, with a lighted
torch, and followed 'y SLAVES with wine and provisions for
an entertainment, and PALINURUS on the opposite side.
PAL. Whither away must I say that you are going out of
doors at this time o' night, Phædromus, with that dress and
with this train¹?
PHED. Whither Venus and Cupid summon me, and Love
persuades me; whether 'tis the midnight or whether the
earliest twilight, if the day is fixed' for pleading your cause
with your antagonist, still must you go where they com-
mand you, whether you will or no.
PAL. But pray, pray-- PHED. Pray
noying to me.
you are an-
PAL. Really that is neither pretty nor befitting you to
¹ And with this train)—Ver. 2. As it is supposed to be before daybreak, he is
nolding a lighted torch, and is attended by a train of slaves, who are carrying
wine and other provisions for the entertainment, or carly breakfast, which he is
abcut to give. He has also a gay dress on for the occasion.
2 If the day is fixed)--Ver. 5. "Status condictus dies." This term properly.
applies to a day appointed for pleading a cause.
528
Act L
CURCULIO;
say. You are your own servant¹; in your fine garb you are
showing the light with your waxen torch?.
PHED. And ought I not to carry that which is gathered
by the labour of the little bees-which has its birth in sweets
-to my own sweet one, my little honey?
PAL. But whither must I say that you are going?
PHED. If you ask me that, I'll tell, so that you may know.
PAL. If I make the enquiry, what would you answer me
?
PHÆD. This is the Temple (pointing to it) of Esculapius.
PAL. That I have known for more than a twelvemonth past.
PHED. Close to it is that door, dear as my very eyes.
(Points to the door of CAPPADOX.) Hail to you! door, dear
as my very eyes; have you been quite well of late?
PAL. Did a fever leave you but yesterday, or the day
before, and did you take your dinner yesterday?
PHED. Are you laughing at me? PAL. Why then, mad-
man, are you enquiring whether the door is well or not?
PHED. I' faith, I've known it as a door most comely and
most discreet: never one word does it whisper; when it is
opened, it is silent; and when, by night, she secretly comes
out to me, it holds its peace.
PAL. And are you not, Phædromus, doing, or contemplating
the doing of, some deed which is unworthy of yourself or of
your family? Are you not laying a snare for some modest
fair one, or for one that should be modest?
PHÆD. For no one; and may Jupiter not permit me to
do so.
PAL. I wish the same. Ever, if you are wise, so bestow
your love, that if the public should know the object which
you love, it may be no disgrace to you. Ever do you take
care that you be not disgraced¹.
1 Your own servant)-Ver. 9. " Puer" may signify either servant" or "boy" in
this passage. In the former case, Palinurus would mean, "you are acting as your
own servant, in carrying the torch ;" in the latter, the allusion would probably be
to the fact that boys, handsomely drest, used, at the nuptial ceremony, to carry
lighted torches before the bride and bridegroom.
2 Your waxen torch)-Ver. 10. It is not improbable that the flambeaux, or
torches, used by the higher classes, were of wax; while those in more common use
were made of pine-wood, tow, and other inflammable substances.
a A fever leave you)—Vor. 18. He asks his master this, as he is in doubt whether
he is in his senses or not. It was a notion among the ancients that fasting was
very apt to produce delirium.
• Be not disgraced)-Ver. 30. "Intestabilis." One who is infamous, and
Sc. I.
529
OR, THE FORGERY.
PHÆD. What means that expression? PAL. For you to
proceed with caution on your path; the object that you
love, love in the presence of witnesses.
PHED. Why, 'tis a Procurer that lives here. (He points.)
PAL. No one drives you away from there, nor yet forbids
you, if you have the money, to buy what's openly on sale.
No one forbids any person from going along the public road,
so long as he doesn't make a path through the field that's
fenced around; so long as you keep yourself away from the
wife, the widow, the maiden, youthful age, and free-born
children, love what you please.
PHED. This is the house of a Procurer.
PAL. A curse befall it. PHÆD. Why so?
PAL. Because it serves ir. an infamous service.
PHED. You speak out. PAL. Be it so, most especially.
PHED. Once more, will you hold your tongue ?
PAL. You bade me speak out¹, I thought.
PHÆD. Then, now I forbid you. But, as I had begun to
say, he has a young female slave-
PAL. This Procurer, you mean, who's living here?
PHED. You have hold of it exactly.
PAL. The less shall I be in dread of its falling.
PHÆD. You are impertinent.
He wishes to make her
a courtesan, while she is desperately in love with me;
whereas I don't wish to have her upon loan.
PAL. Why so? PHED. Because I'm for having her as my
own; I love her equally as well.
PAL. Clandestine courtship is bad; 'tis utter ruin.
PHÆD. I' troth, 'tis so as you say.
PAL. Has she as yet submitted to the yoke of Venus?
PпÆD. For me she is as chaste as though she were my
own sister, unless, indeed, she is any the more unchaste for
some kissing.
whose evidence cannot be taken as a witness in the courts of law. Lambinus sug-
gests that here, as in other instances where the word is used by Plautus, an inde-
licate pun is intended.
¹ Bade me speak out)-Ver. 42. Phædromus had said to Palinurus, "Oblo-
quere," which may either mean "you are abusive" or "do you speak ont."
Phædromus intends it in the former sense, but Palinurus pretends to understand
it in the latter; and when his master tells him to be quiet, he says, "Why, 1
thought you told me to speak out."
2 M
530
Act I.
CURCULIO;
PAL. Always, do you understand, flame follows very close
on smoke; with smoke, nothing can be burnt, with flame, it
can. He who wishes to eat the kernel of the nut, first
breaks the nut; he who wishes to seduce, opens the dance2
with kisses.
PHED. But she is chaste, and never yet has bestowed her
favours upon man.
PAL. That I could believes, if any Procurer had any
shame.
PHÆD. Well, but what think you of her? When she has
any opportunity, she steals away to me; when she has given
me a kiss, she's off again. This happens by reason of this,
because this Procurer is lying a-bed ill in the Temple of
Esculapius; that fellow is my torturer.
so
PAL. HOW SO? PHED. At one time he asks me for thirty
minæ for her, at another for a great talent; and from him I
cannot obtain any fair and just dealing.
PAL. You are too exacting, in requiring that of him which
no Procurer possesses.
PHAD. Now, I've sent my Parasite hence to Caria, to
ask for money on loan from my friend; if he doesn't bring
me this, which way to turn myself I know not.
PAL. If you salute the Deities, towards the right I think;
now this is this altar of Venus before their door.
¹ To eat the kernel)—Ver. 55. This is exactly our proverb, which implies that
labour attends every pursuit--"To extract the kernel, you must crack the
shell."
2 Opens the dance)—Ver. 56. There is an indecent allusion intended in this
line, which is somewhat modified in the translation.
³ I could believe)-Ver. 58. Palinurus thinks it impossible that such a wretch
as Cappadox would leave her untouched.
4 In the Temple)—Ver. 62. It was the custom of those who wished to ask any-
thing of the Gods, to lie in their Temples, in order that they might receive their
answers and instructions in their sleep.
5 To Caria)-Ver. 67. Caria was in Asia Minor. Schmieder justly observes,
that the Parasite must have used the wings of Dædalus, to go from Epidaurus in
the Peloponnesus, to Caria, and discharge his commission and return in four days
only. A Roman audience would not, however, be likely to know much about the
relative distance of places so far off.
Towards the right)—Ver. 70. Dextrovorsum. A quibble seems to be intended
in the use of this word; Palinurus, in saying "turn to the right hand," pro-
bably means, sarcastically, "turn to a right course of life."
Sc. 1.
531
OR, THE FORGERY.
PHED. I have already vowed to bring mel an early break-
fast for my Venus?. PAL. What? Will you then be giving
up yourself as a breakfast to Venus?
PHED. Myself, and you, and all of these. (Pointing to
the SLAVES.)
PAL. Then you would have Venus to be sick outright.
PHED. (to an ATTENDANT). Here, boy, give me the bowl.
PAL. What are you going to do?
PHÆD. You'll know directly. An old hag is in the habit
of sleeping here, as the keeper of the door; the name of the
Procuress is "Much-bibber" and "Neat-bibber."
PAL. Just as you would speak of a flagon, in which Chiar
wines is wont to be.
PHED. What need is there of words? She is a most vinous
soul; and the very moment that I've sprinkled this door
with the wine, she knows by the smell that I'm here, and
opens it forthwith.
PAL. Is it for her the bowl is brought with the wine?
PHED. Unless you object. PAL. I' faith, I do object;
for I'd rather have it broken about him who has brought it.
I fancied it was brought for ourselves.
PHED. Why don't you hold your tongue? If any's left
after her, it will be enough for ourselves.
PAL. What river is it, pray, that the sea does not receive?
PHED. Follow me this way, Palinurus, to the door; do you
be obedient to me. PAL. I'll do so. (They advance to the
door of the PROCURER's house.)
PHED. (sprinkling the door with wine). Come, drink,
you joyous door, quaff on, readily prove propitious unto me.
1 To bring me)-Ver. 72. "Me inferre." These words may mean, according to
the context, either "myself to bring" or "to bring myself." Phædromus means
to use them in the former sense; but, in his quibbling mood, Palinurus chooses to
understand them in the latter.
2 For my Venus)-Ver. 72. By his "Venus" he means Planesium, with whore
ne is desperately in love, and for whom and the Procuress he is carrying the
jentaculum." This was a meal which, we learn from Martial, was generally taken
about three or four o'clock in the morning. It was, however, taken by few but
invalids and children. The reason of Phædromus providing a "jentaculum" for
his mistress is probably the circumstance of the Procurer not being likely to in-
terfere, as he has determined to pass the night in the Temple of Æsculapius.
3 Chian wine)-Ver. 79. Chios, now Scio, in the Egan Sea, produced the
choicest wine, which was the only wine of Greece that did not require to be mixed
with sea-water, to correct acidity and increase its durability.
2 M 2
532
Act 1
CURCULIO,
PAL. (in an affected tone). Door, would you like some
olives or a tit-bit, or some capers?
PHED. Arouse and send out here to me your portress.
PAL. You're spilling the wine; what matter is it that pos-
sesses you? (Takes hold of his arm.)
PHED. Let me alone. Don't you see? This most joyous
door is opening; does the hinge make a bit of creaking? 'Tis
a charming one.
PAL. Why don't you then give it a kiss ?
PHED. Hold your tongue; let's keep back the light and
our noise. PAL. Be it so. (They stand apart, leaving the
bowl near the door.)
SCENE II.-Enter the PROCURESS, from the house of
CAPPADOX.
PROC. The savour of aged wine has reached my nostrils;
the love of it has brought me in my eagerness hither in tho
dark; wherever it is, it's near me. O capital, I've found it.
(Stooping, and smelling at the bowl.) Hail to you, my soul,
joy of dear Bacchus; how enamoured am I of your old age.
For in comparison with yours, the odour of all unguents
were mere bilge-water; you are my myrrh, you my cinnamon,
you my rose, you my saffron unguent and my cassia, you are
my vine-palm scent. But, where you have been poured,
there would I most earnestly hope to be buried.
PAL. (apart). This old lady's thirsty; how limited is her
thirst? PHED. (apart). She's a moderate person; she swal-
lows eight gallons only.
PAL. (apart). I' faith, according to your account, this
year's vintage is not enough for this old woman alone.
PROC. But since as yet you, fragrance, alone have penetrated
to my nostrils, so in its turn afford some delight to my throat.
(Feels for the bowl on the ground, which PALINUrus draws
away.) I find you not; where is your own dear self? I'm
onging to touch you; do let me pour your liquids into me by
¹ Vine-palm)—Ver. 101. "Bdellium" was a gum of fragrant smell and bitter
taste, which exuded from a tree that grew in Arabia. It is described by the Elder
Pliny, in his Twelfth Book.
2 Eight gallons)—Ver. 103. “Quadrantal." This was a measure which hel
forty-eight "sextarii," of about a pint and a half cach.
Sc. 11.
533
OR, THE FORGERY.
sip-sipping. But in this direction it has gone, this way I'll
follow it. (Goes in the direction of PALINURUS, who has the
bowl.)
PAL. (apart). It really had been more proper for her to be
a dog; she has a good nose.
PROO. Prithee, whose voice is it that I hear at a distance.
PHED. (apart). I think that this old hag should be ac
costed. I'll approach her. Aloud.) Come back, Procuress,
and look back towards me.
PROC. Who is it that gives his commands?
PHED. The all-powerfu. in wine, jolly Bacchus; he who,
when you're hawking, parched, and half asleep, brings you a
draught and comes to quench your thirst.
PROC. How far is he away from me?
PHED. (holding up the torch). See this light.
PROC. Then, prithee, do quicken your pace towards me.
PHED. Health to you. PROC. How can I have health,
who am parched with thirst?
PHED. But you shall drink in a moment.
PROC. "Tis long a-coming.
PHED. (extending the bowl). Here's for you, jolly old dame.
PROC. Health to you, gentleman dear as my very eyes.
PAL. Come, toss this off quickly into your abyss; scour
out your sink right speedily.
PHED. Hold your tongue; I won't have her ill spoken to.
PAL. (aside). In preference, then, I'll do her ill.
PROC. (pouring some of the residue on the altar). Venus,
of this little, this very little will I give to theel-sore against
my will; for all the lovers, in their cups, to propitiate thee,
expend their wine upon thee: not such windfalls often fall to
me. (Drinks again.)
PAL. Do look at that, please, how greedily the filthy hag
swills down the pure wine into herself with distended gullet.
PROC. (patting her stomach and chuckling). Ha, ha, ha.
PAL. How is it? Do you like it? PROC. I do like it.
PAL. And I, too, should like to goad with a spur as well.
PHED. (aside to PALINURUS). Don't you-do hold your
I Will I gwe to thee)-Ver. 123. As a libation. It was the custom to pour out
wine or other liquors, as libations in honor of the Gods, either upon an altar, on
the ground, into the sea, or on a table, according to the circumstances of the
CRES.
534
Act L
CURCULIO;
tongue. PAL I'll hold my tongue; (the old woman drinks)
but see, the rainbow's drinking; I' faith, I do believe it will
rain to-day.
PHED. Troth now, I'm quite undone; what first to say to
her I know not.
PAL. Why, the same thing that you said to me.
PHED. What's that? PAL. Say that you're quite undone.
PHED. May the Gods confound you. PAL. Say so to her.
PHED. Am I to say then to her- - ?
PAL. Say what? PHED. That I'm quite undone.
PAL. Well then, say so.
PHED. Old lady, do listen. I
wish you to know this; to my sorrow, I'm quite undone.
PROC. But, i' faith, for my part, I'm altogether brought
to life. But why is it that you are pleased to say you are
quite undone? PHED. Because I'm deprived of the object
which I love. (Pretends to weep.)
PROC. My dear Phædromus, prithee, do not weep; do you
take care that I'm not thirsty, I'll at once bring out here
for you the object which you love. (Goes into the house.)
PHED. Assuredly, if you keep faith with me, in place of
a golden statue, I'll erect for you one of wine2, which shall
be a memorial of your gullet Palinurus, who on earth will
be so blest as myself, if she comes to me?
PAL. By my faith, he who is in love, if he is in want as
well, is afflicted with a dreadful malady.
PIED. Such is not the case with me; for I feel sure that
this very day my Parasite will come hither to me with the
money. PAL. You attempt something mighty, if you ex-
pect that which nowhere exists.
PIED. What if I approach the door, and trill a carol³ ?
PAL. If you choose; I neither bid nor request you, since,
my master, I see that you are of manners and disposition
thus changed.
PIED. (sings). Bolts, O ye bolts, with pleasure do I salute
¹ The rainbow's drinking)—Ver. 129. This is said in allusion to an absurd
oclief which prevailed among the ancients, that the rainbow drank up water from
be surface of the earth.
แ
2 Cne of wine)-Ver. 140. "Vincam." There is more humour in taking this to
mean a statue of wine," than merely "a vine-tree," as Warner has trans-
ated it.
3 Trill a carol)-Ver. 145. "Occentem." This word has probably much the
time meaning here as our word "serenade."
Sc. III.
535
OR, THE FORGERY.
you. I love you, I court you, I seek you, and you entreat;
most kindly lend your aid to me in love; become, for my sake,
as though play-actors from foreign climes; leap upwards
pray, and send out of doors this fair one, who drains my
blood for me distractedly in love. (Addressing ALINURUS.)
Look at that, how those most accursed bolts sleep on, and
none the quicker for my sake do they bestir themselves.
(Addressing the door.) I see quite clearly that you don't
value my esteem at all. Hist! hush, hush!
PAL. I' troth, for my part I'm silent enough.
1
PHÆD. I hear a noise; at last, i' faith, these bolts have
become complaisant to me.
I'll
SCENE III.-Re-enter the PROCURESS, with Planesium,
from the house of CAPPADOX.
PROC. (to PLANESIUM, while opening the door). Come softly
out, and prevent the noise of the doors and the creaking of
the hinges, my dear Planesium, that our master mayn't per-
ceive that that is going on which we
going on which we are doing here. Stas
pour a little water on it. (Pours water on the hinges.)
PAL. (to PHÆDROMUS). Do you see how the palsied hag is
giving her dose? She herself has learnt right well to drink
the wine; to the door she's giving water for it to drink.
PLAN. (looking around). Where are you-you who have
summoned me on the recognizances of Venus? To
To you do
I present myself, and, in the same way do I call on you, on
the other hand, to present yourself to me.
up
PHED. (stepping forward). Here I am; for could I be
¹ Play-actors)—Ver. 150. The Lydians, or rather their descendants, the Etru-
rians, were the earliest actors at Rome; hence the term used here, "barbari,"
"foreigners." The metaphor is borrowed from the fact that dancing, leaping, and
gestures, were the especial features of their performances.
2 Pour a little water)--Ver. 160. To prevent their creaking, so that Cappadox
may not hear them.
3 Recognizances of Venus)-Ver. 162. "Veneriis vadimoniis." She borrows a
legal phrase here. "Vadimonium legere" was, to call a person on his bail" or
"recognizances." When the Prætor had granted an action, the plaintiff required
the defendant to give security for his appearance on the day named. The de-
fendant, on finding a surety, was said "vadem dare," or "vadimonium facere;"
and the "vas," or "surety," was said "spondere." The plaintiff, if satisfied with
the surety, was said "vadari rerum, ""to let the defendant go on his sureties."
Planesium probably means that she considers herself summoned cn pain of for.
feiting the love of Phædromus.
536
Act I,
OURCULIO;
absent, I wouldn't repine for any misfortune to befall me,
my honey. PLAN. My life, it is not becoming for one thus
in love to be at a distance.
PHED. Palinurus, Palinurus!
that you call upon Palinurus ?
PAL. Say on; why is it
PHED. (aside). She is a charming one.
PAL. (aside). Aye, too charming. PHED. I am a God.
PAL. Why, no-a mortal, of no great value.
PHED. What have you seen, or what will you see, more
nearly to be compared with the Gods?
PAL. You are not in your senses, master; a thing that's
grievous to me. PHED. You are not sufficiently respect-
ful te me: hold your tongue.
PAL. The person that sees¹ the object which he loves, and
enjoys not the opportunity while he may, is one who torments
his own self.
PHED. Rightly does he rebuke me; really there's nothing
which for this long time past I have more eagerly desired.
PLAN. Clasp me, embrace me then. PHED. (embracing
her). This, too, is a reason for which I could wish to live; be-
cause your master restrains you, in secret do I court you.
PLAN. Restrain me? He neither can restrain me, nor
will he restrain me, unless death should separate my soul
from you.
PHÆD. Let monarchs keep their kingdoms to themselves,
the rich their riches to themselves, to themselves their
honors, to themselves their prowess, to themselves their
combats, to themselves their battles; so long as they abstain
from envying me, let each one of them keep what is his own.
PAL. (aside). Of a truth, I cannot refrain from giving a
lecture to my master; for, really, it is good to love in a mode-
rate degree; to distraction, it is not good; but to love to en-
tire distraction, is the thing that my master's doing. (Aloud.)
What say you, sir? Have you made a vow, Phædromus,
you'd watch the night through for Venus? For really, upon
my faith, before very long hence the dawn will be breaking.
PHED. Do hold your tongue.
PAL. Why hold my tongue? What, are you going to sleep?
¹ Person that sees)-Ver. 170. He is censuring his master for his backwardness
tot embracing Planesium instantly on her appearance.
Sc. 111
537
OR, THE FORGERY,
PHED. I am asleep; don't you make a noise.
PAL. Why, but you're broad awake. PHED. Aye, but
after my own fashion I'm asleep; this is my slumber.
PAL. (to PLANESIUM). A word with you, madam; 'tis
thoughtlessness to treat amiss one who deserves it not.
PLAN. You would be angry, if, when you are eating, he
were to drive you away from your food.
PAL. (aside). It's all over with him. I see that these two
are equally in love to distraction; and both of them are
mad. D'ye see how intensely they hug each other? They
cannot embrace enough. (Addressing them.) Are you going
to part yet?
PLAN. No human being has blessings that last for ever.
To this pleasure, then, is that plague added.
PAL. What say you, you shocking hussy3? What, you
little tipsy ninny4, are even you with your owlish eyes to be
calling me a plague, you whipper-snapper?
And really,
PHED. What, you abusing my own Venus?
is a slave well trounced with the rod to be commencing a
discussion with myself? But, by the powers, you've surely
said that to your own misfortune. (Strikes him.) There,
take that, by way of punishment for this abusive language,
that you may be able to put a check upon your speech.
PAL. (to PLANESIUM). Your aid, I pray, you night-watching
1 To drive you away)-Ver. 186. As Palinurus wishes his master to withdraw
against the wish of Planesium, she asks him how he would like his victuals to be
taken away from him-implying that Phædromus is as dear to herself as her very
sustenance.
2 Blessings that last)-Ver. 189. This is like the sentiment in Horace, Book iii.,
Ode 16:
-Nihil est ab omni
Parte beatum.
3 Shocking hussy)-Ver. 190. "Propudium." This was a very harsh term of
reproach; and it is not to be wondered at that Phædromus is angry with Palinurus
for using it.
↑ Tipsy ninny)—Ver. 192. “Ebriola," and not " ebriolæ," seems to be the cor-
rect reading here. She has perhaps been taking her share of the wine, to whicn
fact he alludes. "Persolla" means either "a little mask" or a "diminutive
person;" much as we call a little interfering body a "whipper-snapper."
5 Owlish eyes)-Ver. 191. Though grey eyes were admired among the Greeks
Palinurus does not intend this as a compliment to Planesium. He perhaps alludes
to her intended vocation, as having eyes peculiarly adapted for the night-time.
538
Act I
CURCULIO:
Venus. PHED. What, do vou still persist, whip-scoundrel ?
(Strikes him.)
PLAN. Don't, there's a dear, be beating a stone, lest you
should hurt your hand.
PAL. You perpetrate, Phædromus, a flagitious and a shame-
ful deed of great enormity; one who directs you aright, you
pummel with your fists; her you are in love with, a mere
nonentity. Is it right that you should behave yourself in
this unreasonable manner?
PHED. Find me a reasonable lover against his weight in
gold; here, take the gold of me. (Holds out his purse.)
PAL. Do you find me a person for me to serve in his sound
senses against his weight in double-distilled gold.
PLAN. Kindly fare you well, apple of my eye, for I hear
the sound and creaking of doors; I think the keeper is
opening the temple. But, prithee, in this same manner shall
we always enjoy our love by stealth?
PHÆD. Far from it; for I sent my Parasite four days
since to Caria to fetch some money; he'll be here to-day.
PLAN. You are very long in your contriving.
PHED. So may Venus love me, I'll never allow you to
be three days in this house here, before I procure your
liberty.
PLAN. Take care to remember it. Once more, before I
go hence, take this kiss. (Kisses him.)
PHED. By heavens, really if a kingdom now were offered
me, I should not obtain it with greater pleasure. When shall
I see you again?
PLAN. Why now, for that expression get ready the
Prætor's rod²; if you love me, purchase my freedom; don't
make any haggling. Take care to prevail with your offer.
Kindly adieu! (Goes into the house of the PROCURER.)
PпдD. And am I then left behind? Palinurus, I'm
killed outright.
1 The keeper)—Ver. 204. Edituum. The "æditui" were persons who took
care of the Temples, and attended to the cleaning of them. They, however, par-
took in some measure of the priestly character, and are sometimes called priests
by the Greek Grammarians. They lived in or near to the Temples, and showed
them to those persons who wished to see them.
This was the rod which was lab
2 The Prætor's rod)-Ver. 212. Vindicta.
on the head of the person who received his freedom.
Sc. III.
539
OE, THE FORGERY.
PAL. Ana I as well, who am dying with thumps and sleepi-
PHED. Do you follow me. (They go into the house
of PHEDROMUS.)
ness.
ACT. II.-SCENE I.
Enter CAPPADOX, from the Temple of ESCULAPIUS.
CAP. (to himself). I am resolved to depart from this Temple
out of doors forthwith, since thus I find¹ the determination of
Esculapius, who sets me at nought, and chooses not that I
should be healed. My health is declining, my weakness in-
creases. For now I walk, girded with my spleen as though
with a belt; in my stomach do I seem to be holding a twin
offspring. I'm afraid of nothing, but that, in my misery, I
should burst asunder in the middle.
Enter PALINURUS, from the house of PHÆDRomus.
PAL. (speaking to PHEDROMUS within as he enters). If
you do right, Phædromus, you'll listen to me, and banish
this sorrow from your feelings. You are anxious because
your Parasite hasn't returned from Caria. I think he'll
bring the money; but if he doesn't bring it, by a chain
of iron he couldn't be withheld from betaking himself to eat
at his manger2.
CAP. (turning round). What person is it that speaks ?
PAL. (to himself). Whose voice is it that I hear?
CAP. Isn't this Palinurus, the servant of Phædromus ?
PAL. (aside). Who is this fellow with extended paunch,
and eyes as green as grass? From his figure I know him;
from his complexion I cannot recognize him. O, now I do
know him: it's the Procurer Cappadox. I'll accost him.
CAP. Save you, Palinurus. PAL. O source of villanies,
save you; how are you?
CAP. I'm just alive. PAL. Just as you deserve, I sup-
pose? But what's the matter with you ?
CAP. My spleen is killing me, my reins are in torment, my
lungs are being torn asunder, my liver is being tortured, my
heart-strings are giving way, all my intestines are in pain.
¹ Since thus I find)-Ver. 217. It being near daybreak, Cappadox comes from
the Temple, complaining that he has experienced no relief from his visit.
2 At his manger)-Ver. 228. " Præsepem," a "manger" or "stall,” in ail-
Son to the sensual propensities of Parasites.
540
Act II.
CURCULIO;
PAL. The liver complaint is afflicting you, then.
CAP. My spleen is expanded. PAL. Take walking exer-
cisel; that's the best thing for the spleen.
CAP. 'Tis an easy matter to laugh at the afflicted.
PAL. Well, then, do you hold out for some days until
your intestines become putrid. Now, while the humours are
pretty sound, if you do that, you yourself might sell for a
worse price than those intestines of yours.
CAP. Prithee, have done with this, and answer me this
which I ask; can you possibly form a conjecture on it, if I
relate to you what I dreamt last night in my sleep?
PAL. Psha, this―(pointing to himself)—this is the sole
person that is really skilled in divination; why, the inter-
preters of dreams ask advice of myself; the answer that I
have given them, by that opinion they all stand.
SCENE II.-Enter a Cook, from the house of PHÆDROMUS.
COOK. Palinurus, why do you delay? Why are not the
things served out for me which are needed for the breakfast
to be prepared for the Parasite when he comes.
PAR. Wait, please, until I interpret his dream. (Pointing
to CAPPADOX.)
Cook. Why, you your own self, if you've had any dream,
always apply to me. PAL. I confess it.
Cook. Be off, then, and serve out the things.
PAL. (to CAPPADOX). Come now, do you in the meantime
relate your dream to him. I give you a substitute better
than I am myself; for what I do know, all of it I know from
him. (Pointing to the Cook.)
¹ Take walking exercise)-Ver. 240. There is little doubt that he means
seriously to tell Cappadox that exercise is the best cure for disease of the spleen.
The Procurer, however, thinks that he is laughing at him.
2 Do you hold out)-Ver. 242. This passage has much perplexed Commen-
tators. If a period is placed after "tibi," and "exputescant" is read for "ex-
putescunt," much of the difficulty is removed. None of the Commentators seem
to have observed that, in all probability, "si id feceris," "if you do that," refers
to the advice previously given as to taking exercise. If so, the meaning is clear:
"If you don't take exercise, in a few days your inside will be putrefying. If, how-
ever, you do so now, while the humours of the body are not corrupted, your inside
will fetch a higher price than your whole carcase put together"-alluding to the
worthless character of the Procurer.
Sc. 111.
541
OR, THE FORGERY.
CAP. Let him give his attention then.
PAL. He'll give it. CAP. He does what few do, in being
attentive to their masters even. (To the Cook.) Do you
give me your attention then. (PALINURUS goes into the
house of PHEDROMUS.)
Cook. Although I don't know you, I'll give it you.
CAP. Last night I seemed in my sleep to behold Æscu-
lapius, seated at a distance far away from me; and it seemed
that he didn't come near me, or set any value upon me.
Cook. The other Gods will do the same, you must know;
in fact, among themselves they agree with perfect unanimity.
It isn't to be wondered at, if it fares no better with you.
But it had been better for you to pass the night in Jove's
Temple, who has given you his assistancel in your oaths.
CAP. If, indeed, those should wish to sleep there who
have been guilty of perjury, it were not possible for room
to be found them in the Capitol³.
Cook. Give your attention to this; ask peace of Escu-
lapius, lest perchance some great mishap befall you, which has
been portended to you in your rest.
CAP. You do well in advising me; I'll go and pray to him.
(Goes into the Temple.)
*
*
COOK. And ill speed you with it
**
*
*
* (Goes into the house of PHÆDRomus.)
SCENE III. Enter PALINURUS, from the house.
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
PAL. (looking in the distance, as he enters). O immortal
Gods, whom do I behold? Who's that yonder? (Pointing.)
Isn't that the Parasite, who was sent to Caria ? (Goes to
the door.) Hallo, come out, Phædromus, come out, come
out, come out this instant, I say.
Enter PHEDROMUS, from the house.
PIED. Why are you making this noise here?
¹ Given you his assistance)—Ver. 267. He may either mean that Jupiter has
favoured him when he has been guilty of perjury, or that the Procurer must be
greatly indebted to that God for having so often lent him his name on his making
solemn adjurations to further his base purposes.
2 In the Capitol)-Ver. 269. Though the Scene is in the Peloponnesus, Plautus
makes mention of the Capitol, a part of Rome. Some others of the Italian towns
had their "Capitols" in later times.
542
Act II.
CURCULIO;
PAL. I see your Parasite running; see, there he is (point-
ing), down at the end of the street¹. Let's listen from here
what he's about.
PHÆÐ. I think it's as well. (They stand aside.)
Enter CURCULIO, at a distance, walking fast.
CUR. (to himself). Known or unknown, make way for me,
while here I execute my commission; fly all of you, be off,
and get out of the way, lest I should hurt any person in
my speed with my head, or elbow, or breast, or with my knee.
So suddenly now am I charged with a business of quickness
and despatch. And be there no person ever so opulent
to stop me in my way, neither general2, nor any tyrant³, nor
market-officer¹, nor demarch5 nor comarch6, with their honors
so great, but that down he goes, and tumbles head first from
the footpath into the carriage-road. And then those Grecians
with their cloaks, who walk about with covered heads, who
go loaded beneath their cloaks with books, and with baskets7,
1 The end of the street)-Ver. 278. This passage, combined with the long soli-
loquy of the Parasite while still walking along, gives an apt illustration of the great
width and depth of the Roman stage.
2 General)-Ver. 285. Though the Scene is at Epidaurus, he no doubt alludes
to the ten "Strategi" of Athens, who, after the remodelling of the constitution
by Cleisthenes, discharged the duties which had been formerly performed either
by the King or the Archon Polemarchus. They were elected by the suffrages of
the people, and exercised the supreme power in peace and war. See an able article
on this subject in Dr. Smith's "Dictionary of Antiquities."
3 Tyrant)—Ver. 285. By the use of the word "tyrannus" he perhaps refers to
the "Basileus Archon," or "King Archon," of Athens, who was the representa-
tive of the ancient kings, in their capacity of high priest. It was his duty to pre-
side at the Lenæa, or older Dionysia, to superintend mysteries and certain games,
and to offer prayers and sacrifices in the Eleusinium, both at Athens and Eleusis.
The word may, however, be only intended as a general name, like our term “ po-
tentate.'
4 Market-officer)—Ver. 285. "Agoranomus," the "market-officer" of the
Greeks, has been referred to in a Note to the Miles Gloriosus.
5 Demarch)—Ver. 286. The “Demarchi" were the chief officers of the "demi,"
"townships" or "hundreds," in Attica. It was their duty to convene the "demus,"
and take the votes; to register the landed estates, to collect the public rents,
and to furnish to the authorities a list of the members of the townships who were
fit to serve in war.
3 Comarch)—Ver. 286. The "Comarchi" were the prefects, or head officers of
each village or Lamlet in Attica.
• With baskets)-Ver. 289. In the "sportula," or baskets," the poor, and the
Sc. II.
543
OR, THE FORGERY.
they loiter together, and engage in gossipping among them-
selves, the gad-abouts¹; you may always see them enjoy-
ing themselves in the hot liquor-shops; when they have
scraped up some trifle, with their covered pates they are
drinking mulled wine, sad and maudlin they depart: if I
stumble upon them here, from every single one of them I'll
squeeze out a belch from their pearled-barley diet³. And then
those servants of your dainty townsment, who are playing at
catch-ball in the road, both throwers and catchers, all of
them I'll pitch under foot. Would they avoid a mishap, why
then, let them keep at home.
PHED. (apart). He points out aright, he only requires that
he should speak with authority; for such manners are in
vogue in the present day, such at present are the slaves;
really, control cannot be held over them.
CUR. (to himself). Is there any one, I wonder, who can
point out to me Phædromus, my good Genius? The matter
is of such pressing nature, I really must meet with the man
this instant.
PAL. (apart). He's looking for you. РHED. (apart). What
if we accost him? (Aloud.) Hallo! Curculio, I want you.
CUR. (looking round). Who's calling me? Who's men-
tioning my name?
PHED. One who wishes to meet with you.
CUR. (seeing him). You don't wish more for me than I
wish for you.
parasitical dependants on the rich, carried away the scraps that were given to them
after an entertainment was concluded.
¹ The gad-abouts)-Ver. 290. Drapetæ. From the Greek Spéµw, "to run.'
He probably alludes to the propensities of the Athenians for gossipping and
running about from place to place. Probably, at the time of Plautus, they had
begun in considerable numbers to resort to Rome. By his reference to the books,
he is, perhaps, more particularly alluding to their Philosophers. The Romans
considered it effeminate in civil life to go with the head covered.
2 Hot liquor shops-Ver. 292. The " thermopolia" have been alluded to in a
Note to the Trinummus, l. 1013.
³ Their pearled-barley diet)—Ver. 295. This passage is necessarily somewhat
modified in the translation. The Philosophers, especially the Stoics, who prided
themselves on their abstinence, lived principally upon pearled barley.
▲ Of your dainty townsmen)-Ver. 296. He alludes to those opulent towns-
men who, to make a show, are keeping more servants than they want; in conse◄
quence whereof, these servants have nothing to do but play at ball in the streets,
much to the annoyance of the passers-by.
544
Act II
CURCULIO;
PHED. O my own ready occasion, Curculio, much longed-
for, greetings to you.
CUR. Greetings to you. PHED. I'm glad that you have
arrived safe; give me your right hand.
How stand my
hopes? Troth now, prithee, do speak out.
CUR. To you, troth now, prithee, do speak out, how stand
my own.
(Makes curious gestures.)
PHED. What's the matter with you? CUR. A dimness is
beginning to come, my knees are failing through fasting.
PHED. I' faith, through lassitude, I think.
CUR. (staggering). Support me, prithee, do support me.
PHED. See how pale he has turned; will you give him a
seat, for him to be seated at once, and an ewer with some
water? Will you make haste, this very instant ?
CUR. I'm faint. PHED. Would you like some water?
CUR. If it's full of bits of meat, prithee, give it me to
swallow down, i' faith. PHÆÐ. Woe be to that head of
yours.
CUR. Troth now, prithee do give me cause to rejoice at
my arrival. PHED. (begins to fan him). By all means.
CUR. Prithee, what's this you're about. PHED. Some air.
CUR. Really, for my part, I don't want a breath to be raised.
PHED. What then? CUR. To eat, that I may rejoice on
my arrival.
PHED. May Jupiter and the Deities confound you.
CUR. I'm quite undone; I can hardly see; my mouth is
bitter; my teeth, I find, are blunted³; my jaws are clammy
through fasting; with my entrails thus lank with abstinence
from food am I come.
PHED. You shall eat something just now.
CUR. I' faith, I don't want "" something;" I'd rather have
what's fixed for certain, than your "something."
¹ Full of bits)—Ver. 312. He will like the water very well, if it is in the shape
of a rich soup, with plenty of meat in it.
2 At my arrival)-Ver. 313. Ventum. This word gives occasion to a pun
here, as, according to the context, it may either mean "that I am arrived," or
"wind." The Parasite says, "Give me reason (by providing some victuals) tc
rejoice that I have arrived." Phædromus chooses to understand him as saying,
"Give me some wind, that I may rejoice," and says "By all means," and begins
to fan him. The other asks what he is doing, or making; to which he replies,
"Making some air."
3 Are blunted)-Ver. 318. It is hard to say what "plenos" means when ap
plied to the teeth-if indeed, that word is the correct reading here.
Sc. 111.
545
OR, THE FORGERY.
PHED. Aye, but if you only knew what has been put by
for you.
CUR. I'd very much like to know where it is; for really it's
necessary for it and my teeth to make acquaintance.
PHED. A gammon of bacon, a sow's stomach, some udder
and kernels of the throat.
CUR. What, all this do you say? Perhaps you mean that
they are in the flesh-market?
PHÆD. In the dishes, I mean; they've been got ready for
you, since we knew that you were about to arrive.
CUR. Take care you don't be fooling me.
PHED. So may the fair one love me whom I love, I don't
say what's false. But as to what I sent you upon I'm none
the wiser yet.
CUR. I've brought back nothing. PHED. You've undone me.
CUR. I can find something, if you'll give me your atten-
tion. After, at your request, I had set out, I arrived in
Caria; I saw your friend; I asked him to make me a loan
of some money. In answer, you were to know that he was
willing to oblige you; he didn't wish to disappoint you, as it
is only proper that a person who is a friend should be ready, and
should assist his friend. In a few words he answered me,
and quite in confidence, that he also was in the same extreme
want of money as yourself.
PHED. By your words you ensure my undoing.
CUR. Why no; I'm saving you, and wish you to be saved.
After this answer was given me, I went away from him to
the Forum, in sorrow that I had applied to him in vain. By
accident I espied a military officer; this person I accosted,
and as I approached I saluted him. "Save you," said he to
me, took my right hand, drew me aside, and asked me why I
had come to Caria. I said that I had come there for the sake
of amusement. Upon this he asked me whether I knew
a certain Lyco, a banker of Epidaurus. I said I knew
him. "Well, and the Procurer Cappadox ?" I answered
yes, that I had seen him. "But what do you want of him ?”
said I. Because," said he, "I bought of him a girl for
thirty minæ, her clothes and golden jewels too; and for these
last ten minæ more are added." " "Have you paid the money?'
said I. 'No," said he; "it is lodged with this Lyco the
banker, whom I was mentioning, and I've instructed him that
CC
2 N
546
Act II.
CURCULIO;
the person who should bring a letter sealed with my own
ring, to him he was to give his services, that he might
receive the damsel, with her jewels of gold and her clothes,
from the Procurer." After he told me this, I was going away
from him. At once he called me back, invited me to dinner;
it was a point of conscience, I was unwilling to refuse him.
"What if we go off home, and take our places at table?"
said he. The suggestion pleased me; it is neither proper to
lengthen out the day, nor to curtail the night. Everything
was prepared, and we, for whom it was prepared, were at our
places. After we had dined and well drunk, he asked for
the dice to be fetched him. He challenged me to play with
him a game of hazard. I staked my cloak, he staked his
ring against it; he called on the name¹ of Planesium.
PHED. What, my mistress? CUR. Be silent a while.
He threw a most losing cast². I took up the dice, and
invoked Hercules as my genial patron³; I threw a first-rate
cast4, and pledged him in a bumping cup; in return he drank
it off, reclined his head, and fell fast asleep. I slily took away
from him the ring, and took my legs quietly from off the couch,
so that the Captain mightn't perceive it. The servants en-
quired whither I was going; I said that I was going whither
persons when full are wont to go. When I beheld the door,
at once on the instant I betook myself away from the place.
PHED. I commend you. CUR. Commend me when I've
1 Called on the name)-Ver. 356. On the custom of invoking their mistresses,
when playing at dice, see a Note to the Captivi, Act I., Sc. 1. We are, per-
haps, to suppose that the Captain takes off his ring for the purpose of staking it,
which would enable Curculio to steal it the more easily.
"knuckle-
2 Most losing cast)-Ver. 357. When playing with the "tali," or
bone dice," with only four marked sides, they used sets of four. "Volturii
quatuor" (literally, "the four vultures") was the most unlucky throw of all, and
is supposed to have been four aces.
³ My genial patron)—Ver. 358. "Nutricem;" literally, "nurse." It has been
suggested that the Parasite intended to compliment his entertainer, the Captain,
under the name of Hercules, whom he invokes for luck. The Delphin Commen-
tator says that Parasites invoked Hercules because the tenths of entertainments
were offered to him, and these were distributed among the needy, in the number
of whom they ranked.
4 A first-rate cast)-Ver. 259. The best throw with the "tali" was called
"Venus" or
Venereus jactus," when the dice turned up 2, 3, 4, and 5. As it
war by this throw that the Romans chose the King of the Feast, it received the
pame of "Basilicus," "the king's throw." See the last Scene in the Asinaria.
Sc. 111.
547
UR, THE FORGERY.
brought this thing about which you desire. Now let's go in-
doors, that we may seal the letter.
PHED. Do 1 delay you? CUR. But let's cram down
something first, the gammon, the udder, and the kernels;
these are the foundations for the stomach, with bread and
roast beef, a good-sized cup and a capacious pot, that counsel
enough may be forthcoming. Do you, yourself, seal the letter;
he'll do the honors (pointing to PALINURUS) while I am
eating. I'll dictate after what fashion you're to write. Follow
me this way, in-doors,
PHÆD. I follow. (They go into the house of PHÆDROMUS.)
ACT III. SCENE I.
Enter Lyco.
Lyc. I seem to be in opulence; I've struck my balance,
how much money I have, and how much I owe. I'm rich, if
I don't pay¹ those to whom I'm in debt.
If I do pay
those to whom I'm in debt, my debts are the greatest. But
really, upon my faith, when I carefully consider, if they press
me hard, I'll resort to the Prætor2. Most bankers have this
habit, for one to borrow of the other, and to pay nobody, and to
discharge the debt with their fists, if any one duns in a loudish
tone. The person that has³ in a short time acquired wealth,
unless in good time he saves it, in good time comes to starva-
tion. I'd like to buy a servant for myself, who now, however,
must be sought by me on hire¹: there's occasion for my ready
money.
Enter CURCULIO, from the house, speaking to PHEDROMUS,
within.
CUR. Don't you be reminding me now I'm full; I recollect
¹ If I don't pay)-Ver. 373. He probably alludes to some shuffling and cheating
methods by which the bankers of the day had recently distinguished themselves.
See the Pseudolus, 1. 296 (Act I., Sc. 3).
2 Resort to the Prætor)-Ver. 376. This was probably a method with bankers
and traders, by which, for the purpose of defrauding their creditors, they sur-
rendered their effects to the Prætor, and by doing so, contrived to make a purse,
as is too often done by bankrupts and insolvents at the present day. In 1. 684
(Act V., Sc. 3), we find Cappadox expressing himself as apprehensive that Lyco
will be "taking the benefit of the Act."
3 The person that has)—Ver. 380. Gueudeville, in his translation, informs us
that this maxim was much repeated by Louis XII. of France, who was a great
admirer of Plautus.
• Sought by me on hire)—Ver. 38? This passage has been much commented
548
Act III.
CURCULIO.
and understand. I'll render up to you all this cleverly car-
ried out; do hold your peace. I' faith, I've surely filled
myself in-doors right well, and still in my stomach I've
left room for one corner, in which to stow away the rem-
nants of these remnants. (Seeing Lyco.)
(Seeing Lyco.) Who's this that
with covered head is saluting Esculapius? Heyday, the very
man I wanted. (To an ATTENDANT.) Follow me. I'll make
pretence as though I didn't know him. (Aloud.) Hark you;
I want you.
LYC. (turning round). One-eyed man¹, save you.
CUR. Prithee, do you jeer me? LYC. I suppose that you
are of the family of the Coclites; for they are one-eyed.
CUR. This was knocked out for me by a catapulta, at
Sicyon.
Lyo. What matters it to me, pray, if it had been knocked
out by a broken pot with cinders in it?
CUR. (aside.) This fellow's a wizard, surelys; he tells the
truth, for such catapultas are often directed at me. (Aloud.)
Young man, as I bear this mark on my face in the service
of the public, prithee don't be uncivil to me.
Lyc. May I then inforize you, if I may not incomi-
tiatize?
CUR. You shan't be inforizing
on, as containing some indelicate meaning.
that he has occasion for all his ready cash;
slave, he must content himself with hiring one.
me, indeed; and really I
After all, it seems clearly to mean
and, though he would like to buy a
¹ One-eyod man)—Ver. 392. It appears from this that Curculio has but one
eye.
The occasion of his losing it is hinted at in 1. 396.
2 Family of the Coclites)—Ver. 393. "Coclitum prosapia" no doubt here means
a general term, "the family of one-eyed men." Horatius, who, single-handed,
opposed the army of Porsenna, was called " Cocles," from having but one eye.
Pliny the Elder speaks of the Cyclops and the Arimaspians, a nation of Sarmatia,
as having but one cye.
3 A wizard, surely)-Ver. 397. He is surprised at Lyco having so exactly hit
upon
the truth. It has been already remarked that Parasites were the especial
butts for practical jokes. On one of these occasions the unfortunate fellow pro-
bably lost his eyc.
* Bear this mark on my fuce)-Ver. 399. "Hoc intus mihi." This passage is
most probably corrupt.
5 Don't be uncivil)-Ver. 100. "Incomitio" probably means, "to treat rudely,"
or "be uncivil to." Lyco puns upon it, as though meaning, "to bring before the
comitia,' or public assemblies of the people.
• Inforize)—Ver. 401. In the word "inforare," which is coined for the occasion,
and signifies “to summon to the Forum," it is not improbable that an indecent pun
is intended. The liberty has been taken of adopting these two words for the occasion.
Sc. I.
549
OR, THE FORGERY.
don't care at all about your Forum or your Comitia. But
if you can point me out this person that I'm seeking, you
will be doing me a real and a great service. I'm looking for
Lyco the banker.
Lyo. Tell me why you are now seeking for him, or, of what
country are you? CUR. I'll tell you: I'm come from Thera-
pontigonus Platagidorus, the Captain.
Lvc. I' faith, I know the name: (aside) for with that
same name, when I wrote, I filled four whole sides¹. (To
CURCULIO.) But why are you seeking for Lyco?
CUR. (showing the letter). I've been ordered to deliver
this letter to him. Lvc. What person are you
CUR. His freed-man, whom all call Summanus². Lrc. Sum-
manus, my greetings. But why Summanus? Let me know.
CUR. Because, when in my drunken fit I've gone to sleep,
I “summane³" the garments; for that reason do all people
call me Summanus.
Lyo. 'Twere better for you to look out for entertainment for
you somewhere else; really in my own house I have no room
for a Summanus. But I am the person that you are looking for.
CUR. Prithee, are you he, Lyco the banker?
LYC. I am. CUR. Therapontigonus requested me to give
you a hearty greeting, and to deliver this letter.
LYO. What, to me? CUR. Just so. Take it, recognize
the seal. Do you know it? (Lrco takes the letter.)
Lyc. Why should I not know it? On which, a man, holding
a shield, is cleaving an elephant asunder with a sword.
CUR. What's written there he bade me request you to do
immediately, if you wished for his esteem.
LYC. Step aside; I'll look what's written in it.
CUR. (stepping aside). By all means, at your pleasure, so
long as I receive of you that which I'm come for.
LYC. (reads). "Therapontigonus Platagidorus, the Captain,
his guest, sends to his host Lyco, at Epidaurus, right hearty
greeting.
¹ Four whole sides)-Ver. 410. "Ceras." Waxed sides of a tablet.
2 Summanus)—Ver. 413. There was a Divinity of this name. See the Bac-
chides, l. 895 (Act IV., Sc. 8). The name, as here coined by Curculio, would,
perhaps, answer to the English "Mr. Keep-tight-in-hand."
3 I summane)-Ver. 416. "Summano." Literally, "I keep my hands upon."
For the purpose of keeping up the spirit of the passage, the liberty has been taken
of coining a word. The Parasite seems to allude, somewhat obscurely, to the trick
Le has played the Captain Therapontigonus.
550
Act 111.
CURCULIO;
CUR. (aside). This fellow's my own; he's swallowing the hook.
LYC. (going on). "I beg and request of you that, the person
who delivers this letter to you, to him be given up the girl
whom I purchased there (which I did there in your presence,
and you being the negotiator), and the golden trinkets and
clothes as well. You know already how it was agreed upon.
You give the money to the Procurer, and give the young
woman to this person." (To CURCULIO.) Where is he him-
self? Why doesn't he come ?
CUR. I'll tell you; because it is but four days since we
arrived in Caria, from India; there he now intends to order
a solid golden statue to be made of Philippean gold, which
is to be seven feet high-a memorial of his exploits.
LYC. For what reason this? CUR. I'll tell you; why,
because within twenty days he singly has subdued the Per-
sians, Paphlagonians, Sinopians, Arabians, Cretans, Syrians,
Rhodia and Lycia, Peredia and Bibesial, Centauromachia and
Classia Unomammia2, and all Libya, and all Conterebromia;
one half even of all nations has he conquered unaided in
twenty days.
LYC. Dear me!
CUR. Why are you surprised?
in
Lrc. Why, because if all these people were penned up
a cage as close as chickens, even so they couldn't be encom-
passed in a year. Upon my faith, 1 do believe that you are³
come from him; for you do jabber such nonsense.
CUR. Aye, and I can tell you
still more, if you like.
LYC. No; I don't want it. Follow me this way. I'll
pay you that, on account of which you came; and lo, 1 see **
*
*
**
*
*
**
*
*
¹ Peredia and Bibesia)—Ver. 444. Most of these names are real, while some
are fictitious-as, for instance, Peredia," Hungry-land," and "Bibesia,"
"Thirsty-land." By Centauromachia he perhaps means Thessaly, the country
of the Centaurs; though, possibly, this region may have been too near for him to
hope to impose upon Lyco.
2 Classia Unomammia)—Ver. 445. "Classia" is supposed by Schmieder to be
used for "classis," "an army." "Unomanmia," "the land of the one-breasted
people," may perhaps be an allusion to the Amazons, who were feigned to be in the
habit of cutting off one breast, for the purpose of using the bow with greater
adroitness. "Conterebromia" is a name coined for the occasion, signifying "the
land of piercing."
3
³ That you are)—Ver. 452. "Esse," "to be" or "to eat," according to the con.
Limiers suggests that a pun is here intended. If so, it will admit of eithe
"that you are his servant" or "that you eat at nis expense."
Lext
! these meanings, "that you are his servant" or
Sc. I.
551
OR, THE FORGERY.
Enter CAPPADOX, from his house.
Lyc. Save you, Procurer. CAP. May the Gods prosper you.
LYC. Do you know what this is about which I'm come
to you? CAP. Say on what you please.
Lyc. You are to receive the money, and to send away
the young woman with him. (Pointing to CURCULIO.)
CAP. But what if I'm bound on oath to another?
LYC. What matters that to you, so long as you get the
money? CAP. He who advises is as good as an accomplice.
Do you follow.
CUR. Procurer, take care that you don't cause me any
delay. (They go into the house of CAPPADOX.)
ACT IV.-SCENE I.
Enter the CHOREGUS¹, as СHorus.
CHOR. By my faith, Phædromus has cleverly met with this
clever rogue; but whether a salt-water rogue or a dry-land one
I'm the rather to say he is, I really don't know. The costume
that I've lent I fear I shan't get back. Although I have nothing
whatever to do with him (I trusted Phædromus himself), still
I'll keep an eye upon him. But until he comes out of doors,
I'll point out in what place you may easily meet with each
person, that he mayn't lose his labour through too much
trouble, if any one wishes to meet either a rascal or one
without rascality, or an honest man or a dishonest one.
who desires to meet with a perjured fellow, let him go into
the courts of law³; he who wants a liar and a braggart, near
the rites of Cloacina¹. The rich and erring husbands seek
you at the magisterial halls of the Basilica. There, too, will
He
¹ The Choregus) The "Choregus" was the person who had the care of the
aresses and decorations for the actors, and provided the Choruses. See the Tri-
nummus, 1. 858 (Act IV., Sc. 2).
2 Salt-water rogue)-Ver. 463. "Halophantam." The "halophantæ" were
those who informed against the exporters of salt contrary to law, as the “ syco-
phant" did against the exporters of figs. The Choregus is using a choice of
names for the same thing, as he means to say, "call him by what name you will,
Curculio is a clever rogue." It is not possible to translate the passage literally and
preserve the spirit of it at the same time.
3 Into the courts of law)-Ver. 470. The "Comitium" was a place in the
Roman Forum, near the "Curia," where trials were carried on before the Prætor.
It was near the "Puteal Libonis," or "Seribonianum," where witnesses were
sworn, and perjured people were to be found, ready to give false testimony.
Rites of Clvacina)-Ver. 471. Venus is supposed to have been called by this
552
Act IV.
CURCULIO;
be the worn-out harlots, and those who are wont to Eaggle for
them. Contributors to pic-nic dinners¹ you'll find in the fish-
market. In the lower part of the Forum good men² and
opulent do walk; in the middle, near the canal³, there are
the mere puffers-off. Beyond the lake of Curtius are impu-
dent, talkative, and malevolent fellows, who boldly, without
reason, utter calumnies about another, and who, themselves,
have sufficient that might with truth be said against them.
There, at the old shops, are those who lend and those who
borrow at interest. Behind the Temple of Castor there
are those to whom unguardedly you may be lending to your
cost. There, in the Etrurian street, are those men who hold
themselves on sale. In the Velabrum7 you'll find either
baker, or butcher, or soothsayer; either those who sell
retail themselves, or supply to others things to be sold by
retail. Rich sinning husbands you'll find at the house of
Oppian Leucadia8. But, meantime, the door makes a noise;
I must curb my tongue.
(Exit.
name, from her statue having been once found in the "Cloaca," or sewer of Rome.
He alludes to the neighbourhood of her Temple, in which Plautus himself is said
to have dwelt, The "Basilica" has been mentioned in a previous Note.
1 Pic-nic dinners)-Ver. 474. The "symbolæ," or "pic-nic entertainments,"
have been referred to in the Notes to the Stichus. They were probably got up on
a cheap scale.
2 Good men)——Ver. 475. "Boni" is here used in the sense of " opulent," "men
of substance."
3 Near the canal)—Ver. 476. The banks of this canal were much resorted to
by walkers. It is not accurately known in what part of Rome it was situate.
4 Beyond the lake)-Ver. 477. He probably alludes to the former site of the
Curtian Lake, which, in his time, was dried up. Ovid says, in the Fasti, B.
vin
1. 401, "This place, where now are the markets, formerly fenny marshes covered;
a ditch was here swimming with water from the overflowing of the river. That
spot formed the Curtian Lake, which now supports the altars on dry ground: 'tis
now dry ground, but once it was a lake." It is not a little amusing, that though
the Scene is in Epidaurus, Plantus is here discussing Roman scenes and manners.
5 The old shops)-Ver. 481. He probably alludes to the old shops in the Forum,
which were the property of the state, and were let out to the bankers and
money-
lenders.
• Who hold themselves)-Ver. 482. Horace alludes to the "turba impia,"
the "impious throng," of the Etrurian street.
7 Velabrum)-Ver. 484. See the Captivi, 1. 494 (Act III., Sc. 1).
Oppian Leucadia)-Ver. 485. The best solution of the meaning of this
passage seems to be, that he is alluding to a woman named Leucadia, a freed.
woman of the Oppian family, whose house was a rendezvous for riotous and de
bauched husbands.
Sc. II.
553
OR, THE FORGERY.
SCENE II.-Enter, from the house of CAPPADOX, CURCULIO,
leading PLANESIUM, followed by LYCO and CAPPADOX
CUR. Maiden, do you go before; what is behind me I
cannot keep my eye upon. Both the trinkets of gold, and all
the clothing that she had, were his own, he said.
CAP. No one is going to deny it. CUR. Still, however, it's
somewhat better for me to remind you.
Lvc. Remember that you've undertaken, that, if any one
should assert in course of law that she's properly free, all the
money is to be returned to me-thirty minæ.
CAP. I shall remember; be easy about that; and now I say
the same. CUR. But I wish you to remember this well.
CAP. I remember, and I shall deliver her to you on war-
ranty¹.
CUR. And am I to take anything on warranty from a Pro-
curer, people who have nothing of their own except a tongue
only; who, if anything's entrusted them, deny it upon oath?
You Procurers dispose of what belongs to others, you give
liberty to what belongs to others, and what belongs to others
your give your commands to; no guarantee of ownership is
there in the transfer to yourselves, nor are you yourselves
guarantees to another person. The race of Procurers, among
mortals, in my way of thinking at least, are just like flies,
gnats, bugs, lice, and fleas a plague, a mischief, and a nui-
sance; you are of no serviceable use, and no respectable per-
son dares to stand with you in the Forum; he that does
associate with you, they censure him, he's spat upon and
abused; they say that he has lost his property and his
honor, although he has done nothing at all.
Lyc. Upon my faith, my clever one-eyed friend, in my way
of thinking, you are well acquainted with the Procurers.
CUR. You bankers, i' faith, I put and place in the same
rank; you are the very counterparts of them. They, at
least, are on sale in dark corners, you in the very Forum2.
You tear men to pieces with usury, they by persuading them
amiss and by means of their dens. Full many a proposed sta-
¹ On warranty)—Ver. 495. "Dare mancupio" meant, "to sell a thing upon
warranty," which, when formally done, was effected " per æs et libram," by
striking the balance with an "as," in the presence of six witnesses, when the
seller guaranteed the possession of it to the purchaser.
2 In the very Forum)—Ver. 507. In allusion to the place where most of the
bankers' shops were situate.
554
Act IV.
CURCULIO;
tutel has the public confirmed on your account, which when
confirmed you break; some loophole you find out; just as
boiling water becomes cold, so do you deem the laws.
Lxc. (aside). I'd rather I'd held my tongue CAP. Not
wrongfully, and with good reason, are you abusive against them.
CUR. If abuse is uttered against those who deserve it not,
that I do hold to be abuse; but if it is uttered against
those who are deserving, it is fair censure, in my way of
thinking, at least. I care nothing about your warranty,
nor about any other Procurer whatever. Lyco, do you want
anything with me?
Lyc. Heartily fare you well. CUR. Farewell. (Going.)
CAP. Hark you! I say to you—
CUR. Say on; what do you want ?
CAP. Prithee do you take care that all's well with her
(pointing to PLANESIUM); I've brought her up in my house.
carefully and in chastity.
CUR. If you have such compassion for her, pray, what
would you give for it to be all well with her ?
CAP. A plaguy mishap for yourself.
CUR. You need take due care on that score about yourself.
CAP. (to PLANESIUM, who is weeping). Why, simpleton,
do you cry? Don't be afraid; upon my faith, I've sold you
favourably. Take care, will you, and be a good girl; now
prettily accompany him, pretty one.
Lyo. Summanus, do you want anything with me at pre-
sent? CUR. Fare you well, and health attend you. (Aside.)
For you've kindly given me your services and your money.
LYC. Give abundant greetings to my patron.
CUR. I'll give them.
(Exit with PLANESIUM.
LYC. Procurer, do you wish for anything?
CAP. Give me those ten minæ for me to manage for myself
with, until things are better with me. Lro. They shall be
paid; order them to be fetched to-morrow.
(Exit.
CAP. Since I've successfully finished the matter, I wish
to return thanks here in the Temple. For long since, when a
little girl, I bought her for ten mine; but him who sold her
to me, never since then have I set eyes upon. I think he's
dead. What matters that to me? I've got the money. The
man to whom the Gods are propitious, for him, no doubt, they
Proposed statute)—Ver. 509. “Rogitatio," or, more commonly, "rogatio," was
the term applied to a proposed law, or decree of the people, or "plebiscitum."
Sc. III.
555
OR, THE FORGERY.
throw gain in his way. Now will I give my attention to
my devotions; it's clear that he has a kind regard for me.
(Goes into the Temple.)
SCENE III-Enter THERAPONTIGONUS¹ and Lyco.
THER. I'm come now, inflamed with wrath in no moderate
degree, but with that same with which I've learned to deal
destruction upon cities. At once now, unless this moment
you make haste instantly to pay me the thirty minæ which I
left with you, make haste to lay down your life.
Lyo. By my troth, to no little mischief do I now devote
you, but to that same to which I am wont to devote that
man to whom I owe nothing at all.
THER. Don't you be making yourself bold with me, or
suppose that I shall be entreating you.
Lyc. And you, indeed, shall never force me to pay you
what has been paid, nor shall I give it you.
THER. I thought this, when I entrusted you with it, that
you would repay nothing at all.
Lyc. Why then are you now asking it back of me?
THER. I wish to know to whom you have paid it.
LYC. To your one-eyed freed-man; he said that he was
called Summanus; I paid it to him, who brought me this
sealed letter. (Gives him the letter.)
THER. What letter of mine, what one-eyed freed-man,
what people called Summanus are you dreaming about? I
really have no freed-man at all.
Lrc. You act more wisely than a portion of the military
men who have freed-men, and then forsake them.
THER. What have you done? Lyc. What you requested
me, I've done for your sake, that I mightn't slight the
messenger who had brought your seal's impression.
THER. More fool than fool were you to give credit to this
letter.
LYC. To that by which matters both public and private
are carried on ought I not to have given credit? I'll be off;
the money has been properly paid you. Warrior, farewell.
THER. How-farewell? Lyc. Fare you ill then, if you
choose,―aye, all your life, so far as I'm concerned. (Exit.
THER. What shall I do now? Of what use is it that I
¹ Therapontigonus)—He seems to be a milder member of the class of braggarts,
of which Pyrgopolinices, in the Miles Gloriosus, is so admirable a specimen.
556
Act IV
CURCULIO;
have caused kings to obey me, if this cbscure fellow¹ is this
day to laugh at me ?
SCENE IV.—Enter CAPPADOX, from the Temple.
CAP. (to himself). The man to whom the Gods are pro-
pitious, they cannot, I think, be angered with him. After I
had finished my devotions, it then came into my mind, lest
the banker should abscond, to go fetch the money, that I
may make good cheer rather than he.
THER. I had left my compliments for you at your house.
CAP. Therapontigonus Platagidorus, save you; since you
are come safe to Epidaurus this day, at my house-you won't
lick up one grain of salt2.
THER. You give me a kind invitation; things, however,
are in a train for it to go badly with yourself. But how
fares my purchase at your house?
CAP. Why, not at my house at all. Don't be bringing
your witnesses-assuredly, I don't owe you anything.
THER. How's that?
CAP. What I was bound on oath to do, I've done.
THER. Will you give me up the girl or not, before I spit
you with this sabre of mine, you whip-scoundrel ?
CAP. I bid you go to perdition with all my heart; don't
you be terrifying me. She has been carried off; you shall
be carried off hence away from me, beyond a doubt, if you
persist in abusing me, to whom I owe nothing but a punishing.
THER. What, threaten me with a punishing?
CAP. Aye, and by my troth, I'll not be threatening, but
I'll give it, if you persist in being impertinent to mẹ.
THER. A Procurer, forsooth, threatening me; and are my
combats in battle, so many in number, lying trodden under
foot? But so may my sabre and my shield
**
*
*
* trustily aid me when fighting in the
field; unless the girl is restored to me, I'll at once cause the
ants to carry you away piecemeal from this spot.
CAP. And so may my tweezers³, my comb, my looking-
¹ Obscure fellow)-Ver. 556. "Umbraticus," a low fellow, a haunter of obscure
places.
2 Lick up one grain of salt) — Ver. 562. He pretends that he is going to
invite him; bus, stopping short, ends by say ng that he shall not even
teste salt with him. "Alaλexet, "to lick salt," Erasmus, in his Adagia, telis
as was a proverbial expression, denoting "to live sparingly."
So may my tweezers)-Ver. 576. We might almost fancy that it was a barber
Sc. IV.
557
OR, THE FORGERY.
glass, my crisping-iron, and my hair-scissors and scrubbing.
towel love me well, I don't value your high-sounding words,
nor these big threats of yours, a bit the more than my ser-
vant-girl that washes out my sink. I've given her up to
him who brought the money from you.
THER. What person was that? CAP. He said that he
was Summanus, your freed-man.
THER. Mine? You don't say so; i' faith, it's that Curculio
that has put a trick upon me, when I think upon it; he stole
my ring from me.
CAP. (aside). The Captain has been finely appointed to a
cashiered company¹.
THER. Where now shall I find Curculio? ?
CAP. In some wheat with the greatest ease I'll make you
find even five hundred Curculios instead of one. Therefore
I'm off; fare you well, and my service to you. (Exit.
THER. Fare you ill, a plague attend you. What shall I
do? Shall I stop or go away? That I should have been
imposed upon in this way! I'd like to give a reward to him
who would point out that fellow to me.
ACT V.-SCENE I.
(Exit.
Enter CURCULIO, with a ring, from the house of PHEDROMUS.
CUR. I've heard that an ancient Poets wrote in a Tragedy,
that two women are worse than one; such is the fact. But
a more crafty woman than is this mistress of Phædromus, I
never saw or heard of, nor, i' faith, can one be spoken of or
imagined; she, as soon as ever she saw that I had got this
ring, asked me whence I got it. “ Why do you ask that ?" said
I. "Because I've need to know," said she. I said I wouldn't
tell her. To get it away, she seized hold of my hand with her
teeth. With much ado I betook me out of doors, and made
my escape. Away with this slut¹.
speaking, from this mention of the implements of his trade. Probably Cappadox
employed these articles himself, in putting the best appearance upon his com-
modities, that they might the more readily attract the public.
1
¹ Appointed to a cashiered company)—Ver. 585. He remarks that the Captain
has been made a fool of, just in the same way as if he had received a commission
in a disbanded maniple, or company.
2 Find Curculio)-Ver. 586. He asks where he can find Curculio. That word
signifying not only the Parasite's name, but "a weevil" as well, Cappadox tells him
that he may find hundreds of them in wheat.
* An ancient Poct)—Ver. 591. Who this ancient Poet was, is not known.
• This slut)-Ver. 598. "Caniculam." "Little bitch."
558
Act V.
CURCULIO;
SCENE II-Enter PLANESIUM, followed by PHÆDROMUS,
from his house.
PLAN. My Phædromus, make haste.
PHED. Make haste for what? PLAN. That you mayn't
let the Parasite escape; the affair's of consequence.
PHED. Nothing have I of consequence; for what I did
have I quickly made away with? (Seizes CURCULIO.) I've
got him; what's the matter?
PLAN. Ask him whence he got that ring: my father used
to wear it. CUR. Why, troth, and so did my aunt.
PLAN. My mother gave it him to wear.
CUR. And your father, in his turn, to me.
PLAN. You are talking nonsense.
CUR. I'm in the habit; for by reason of it I make a live-
lihood the more easily. What is the matter now?
PLAN. I entreat you, don't be keeping me from finding my
parents.
CUR. How can I? Have I got your father and mother
hidden beneath the stone? (Holding up the ring.)
PLAN. I was born a free woman.
CUR. And so were many others, who are now in servitude.
PLAN. Really now, I'm vexed. CUR. For my part, I've
told you how this came into my possession. How often
must you be told? I cheated the Captain at dice, I tell you.
Enter THERAPONTIGONUS.
THER. (eyeing CURCULIO). I'm all right; see, here he is
whom I was looking for. How do you do, good sir?
CUR. I hear you; three casts of the dice, if you like, even
for that scarf of yours.
THER. Why don't you go to very perdition, with your
casts and catch-pennies?? Either give me back the money
or the young woman?
CUR. (with an air of surprise).
bish are you talking about to me?
What money? what rub-
What young woman are
"the affair," is urgent.
¹ Nothing have I)-Ver. 600. Planesium says, "res,"
Phædromus, understanding the word as meaning "property," says, "I've got
none; what I had, I soon squandered."
2 Casts and catch-pennies)—Ver. 612. "Cum bolis, cum bulbis." Literally
"with your casts of dice and your onions." He probably uses the word "bulbis"
solely for its similarity to "bolis," by way of alliteration. A little variation is
made in the translation, to keep the spirit of the passage, which it is impossibl
to do by adhering to the letter.
Sc. 11.
559
THE FORGERY.
THER. The one that you took
you demanding back of me?
away this day from the Procurer, you scoundrelly fellow.
CUR. I took none away. THER. Why, surely, I see her.
There she is. (Pointing to PLANESIUM.)
PHED. This young woman is free. THER. What, my
female slave free, to whom I have never given her liberty?
PHED. Who gave you possession of her, or of whom did
you buy her? Let me know that? THER. Why, I paid the
money for her through my banker-a sum which I'll have re-
funded to me fourfold by you and the Procurer.
PHÆD. You, who understand how to traffic in young
women, kidnapped and of free birth, come you before the
Judge. THER. I shan't come.
PHED. I may call my witness¹ to the summons.
THER. No, you mayn't. PHED. May Jupiter then utterly
confound you: live without witnesses then.
CUR. But I'm a person that he may summon.
PHED. (to CURCULIO). Do you step this way.
THER. What? A slave summoned as a witness? Take you
care. CUR. Well, that you may know it, I'm free.
THER. Then come before the judge. There's for you:
take that. (Gives him a blow.)
CUR. O townsmen, townsmen, help.
THER. Why do you bawl so?
PHÆD. What right have you to strike him?
THER. Because I choose. PHED. (to CURCULIO). Step
this way you (pushes him towards the CAPTAIN); there, I'll
give him up to you. Hold your noise.
CUR. Phædromus, prithee do save me.
PHED. As I would myself and my own good Genius. Cap-
tain, prithee, do tell me whence you got that ring, which
this Parasite purloined from you.
PLAN. (kneeling before the CAPTAIN). By your knees, I
1 Call my witness)—Ver. 621. It was a custom with the Romans, when a man
was summoned by another to go with him at once before the Prætor, for the plain-
tiff, if the defendant would not go quietly, to call any bystander to be witness (an-
testari) that he had been duly summoned; and, having touched the ear of the
witness, the latter was bound to aid in dragging the defendant to court. On.y free
persons could be witnesses. For this reason the Captain tells Phædromus that he
cannot summon a witness on this occasion, as he knows that Planesium is not free,
and supposes that Curculio is also a slave.
2 Without witnesses)-Ver. 622. "Intestatus." An indelicate allusion is in-
tonded in this line
560
Act ▼
CURCULIO;
do entreat you to give us that information. THER. What
matters that to you? You might as well ask after this sabre
and this scarf, how each came into my possession.
CUR. What airs the swaggerer does give himself!
THER. Send that fellow away (pointing to CURCULIO);
then I'll tell you all. CUR. It's nonsense what he says.
PHED. Prithee, do let me know. THER. I'll tell you: (to
PLANESIUM) get up. Listen to this matter, and give atten-
tion. My father Periphanes used to wear it.
PLAN. Ha! Periphanes? THER. He, before he died, gave
it to me as being his son, as it was right he should.
PLAN. O Jupiter!
THER. And on that occasion he made me his heir.
PLAN. O filial affection, do thou preserve me, since I have
carefully preserved thee. Welcome, my brother.
THER. How am I to believe that? Tell me, if you are
speaking the truth, who was your mother?
PLAN. Cleobula. THER. Who was your nurse?
PLAN. Archestrata. Amid the sacred rites of Bacchus
she had carried me to see the sights
=X<
*
*
*
*
** after we had come thither, when
now she had found me a place, a whirlwind arosel; the scaf-
folding of the stage there tumbled down; I was greatly
alarmed, and then some one, I know not who, seized hold
of me trembling and frightened, neither alive nor dead; and
in what manner he carried me off I cannot say.
THER. I recollect that disturbance happening; but, do you
tell me, where is this person, who carried you away?
PLAN. I know not; but (showing a ring) this ring I have
all along preserved by me, with it long since was I lost.
THER. Give it me to look at.
CUR. (to PLANESIUM). Are you in your senses to be
trusting it to that fellow? (Holds her arm.)
PLAN. Do you only leave me alone. (She gives it to the
CAPTAIN.) THER. (examining it). O Jupiter! This is the
same that I presented you upon your birthday; I recognize
it as easily as my own self. Welcome to you, my sister.
¹ A whirlwind arose)—Ver. 646. Many mishaps appear to have happened to
families through the lawlessness and violence of which the Festivals of the Divi-
aities were the occasion.
2 The scaffolding)-Ver. 647. Suetonius tells us that the reign of Tiberius wa
rendered memorable by the fall of the scaffolding in the theatre of Fidenæ.
Sc. III.
561
OR, THE FORGERY.
PLAN. My brother, welcome to you.
PHED. I trust the Gods will prosper this matter for you.
CUR. And I, for all of us. (To the CAPTAIN.) Do you, as
having this day arrived, give a dinner in honor of your sister;
he (pointing to PHÆDROMUS), to-morrow, will give one in
honor of his marriage; we promise that.
PHED. (to CURCULIO). Do you hold your tongue.
CUR. I shan't hold my tongue, as things are turning out
so well. Captain, do you promise her to him; I'll give the
marriage-portion. THER. What is the marriage-portion?
CUR. What, that I give? Why, that always as long as
he lives he's to feed me.
THER. I' troth, he says what's fair; with my consent you
shall do so. But this Procurer owes me the thirty minæ.
PHED. For what reason so?
:
THER. Because he agreed with me on these terms to
give it back that if any one should assert her to be free born
in due course of law, he would, without dispute, pay back all
the money.
CUR. Then let's go to the Procurer. THER. I agree.
PHED. This first I wish; to despatch my matter.
THER. What's that? PHED. That you will betroth her to
(The CAPTAIN considers.)
me.
CUR. Why do you hesitate, Captain, to give her as a wife
to him? THER. If she is agreable.
PLAN. My brother, it is my wish.
THER. So be it then. CUR. You do rightly.
PHED. Captain, do you betroth me to her for my wife?
THER. I do betroth her. PHED. (pointing to CURCULIO).
And to him do I promise support at my expense.
CUR. You do kindly. But *
*
*
THER.
*
*
*
*
** But
see, here's the Procurer coming; my treasurer¹, I mean.
SCENE III.—Enter CAPPADOX, in haste.
CAP. (to himself). Those who say it's bad for bankers to
¹ My treasurer)—Ver. 677. In allusion to the money which he intends to
have back from the Procurer. "Thesaurum" seems here to have the signification
of "treasurer" or "treasury."
2 Those who say)-Ver. 679. This and the following line are clearly in a very
corrupt state. Indeed, it is hard to gather any sense whatever from them.
20
562
Act V.
CURCL LIO;
be trusted, utter nonsense; I say it's neither good nor bad
for them to be trusted, and that, I've fully experienced this
day. They are not¹ badly trusted, who never repay, but with
whom it is lost outright. As for example, before this Lyco
paid me the ten minæ, he bad to go to every banker's
counter. After there were no proceeds, I summoned the
fellow with much noise; he appealed against me to the court.
I was most confoundedly afraid that this day he'd be settling
accounts with me before the Prætor2; but my friends forced
him, so he paid the money at home. Now I'm resolved to
make haste to my house. (Runs towards his door.)
THER. Hallo! you Procurer; I want you.
PHED. And I want you.
CAP. But I don't want either of you.
THER. Stay this instant, will you.
PHED. And make you haste to disgorge the money with
all despatch.
CAP. (to PHÆDROMUS). What have you to do with me?
(To the CAPTAIN.) Or what have you?
THER. Because this day I shall be making a javelin of you,
discharged from a catapulta, and twist you with the string³,
just as the catapultas are in the habit of doing.
PHÆD. I'll this day make a coxcomb of you, to be sleeping
with a puppy in your bed—an iron one, I mean.
CAP. But I'll make you both to be rotting in a strong-barred
prison. THER. Seize him by the throat, and away with him
to extreme torture.
PHÆD. However that is, he'll be going there of his own
accord. (The CAPTAIN seizes him.)
CAP. O Gods and men, your aid! that I, uncondemned,
¹ They are not)—Ver. 681. He seems to mean, that, where there is no possibility
of the debtor paying back the money, the case is more fortunate than where
you are tormented by hopes of getting it back, which, however, are doomed to dis-
appointment.
2 Before the Prætor)—Ver. 684. He was afraid that Lyco would cheat him, by
filing his schedule, or taking the benefit, in the Roman style. See the Note to
1. 373 (Act III., Sc. 1).
3 With the string)-Ver. 690. "Nervus," "a cord," was also the name of the
iron chain fastened round the neck and legs of the prisoner. If the debtor did
not pay within thirty days after judgment, he was liable to be thrown into prison
by the creditor.
With a puppy)-Ver. 691. He jokes on the double meaning of the word
catellus," which signified "an iron chain," and also "a little dog."
Sc. III.
563
OR, THE FORGERY.
and without evidence against me, should thus be dragged
along! Prithee, Planesium, and you, Phædromus, do give
me assistance.
PLAN. Brother, I do beseech you, don't ruin him uncon
demned; he treated me kindly and modestly at his house.
THER. That was through no inclination of his own; give
you thanks to this Esculapius (pointing to the Temple)
that you've preserved your chastity; for if he had been well,
he'd long ago have packed you off wherever he could.
PHED. Now attend to me, both of you, if I can arrange
between you. (To the CAPTAIN.) You let him go. Pro-
curer, come you this way. I'll pronounce my opinion, if
indeed you are ready to abide by what I shall decide you
should do.
THER. We leave it to you. (He lets go of the PROCURER.)
CAP. So long, i' faith, as you give a decision to the effect
that no one is to take the money away from me.
THER. What, not that which you promised?
CAP. I, promised? How? THER. With your tongue.
CAP. With that same tongue I now gainsay it; that was
given me by Nature for the purpose of speaking, not of
losing my property.
THER. He's trifling; seize the fellow by the throat.
(Seizes him.) CAP. I'll at once then do as you bid me.
THER. Since you are an honest man, answer me this that
I ask you. CAP. Ask me what you please.
THER. Did you not promise, that if any one should show
that she (pointing to PLANESIUM) was freeborn, you would
pay back all the money? CAP. I don't remember saying so.
THER. What, do you deny it? CAP. I' faith, I really do
deny it. In whose presence? In what place was it?
THER. In my own presence, and that of Lyco the banker.
CAP. Why don't you hold your tongue?
THER. I shan't hold my tongue.
CAP. I don't care a rush for you; don't be bullying me.
THER. In my own presence and that of Lyco it took place.
PHED. (to the CAPTAIN). I quite believe you. Now,
therefore, Procurer, that you may know my judgment,
(pointing to PLANESIUM) she is a free woman; he (pointing
to the CAPTAIN) is her brother, and she is his sister; she is
¹ To this Esculapius)—Ver. 699. Who had not granted him convalescence so
aconas he desired.
564
Act V
CURCULIO.
engaged to me; do you restore him the money; that's my
decision.
CAP. Upon my faith, Phædromus, you have given this de-
cision corruptly. It shall both be bad for you, and you, Cap-
tain, may the Gods and Goddesses confound you.
THER. And as for you, you shall be clapt in prison at
once, unless the money's returned me.
CAP. Then follow me. THER. Follow you where ?
CAP. To my banker-to the Prætor¹; for it's there that
I pay my money to all persons to whom I'm indebted.
THER. I'll be carrying you hence to prison, and not to the
Prætor, if you don't pay back the money.
CAP. I do most earnestly wish you may come to a bad end,
so don't misunderstand me2.
THER. Do you really so? CAP. I' faith, I really do so.
THER. I don't misunderstand these fists of mine. (Hold-
ing them up.)
CAP. What then? THER. What then, do you ask? With
these same fists, if you provoke me, I'll be making you quiet
immediately.
CAP. (taking the money from his girdle). Well then, take
this back at once.
THER. (taking the money). By all means.
PHED. Captain, you'll dine with me; the nuptials shall
take place to-day.
THER. May this matter turn out well for me and for
yourselves.
An ACTOR.
Spectators, give us your applause.
1 To the Prætor)-Ver. 722. See the Note to 1. 684.
2 Don't misunderstand me)—Ver. 724. "Ne me nescias." Equivalent to our
phra, "I fully give you to understand."
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