808
057re
Report
Writing
Workshop
STUDENT MANUAL
UNIVERSILY DE
296-7

ܝܐ ܀

UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN
LIBRARIES
SEP 22 1974
DEPOSITED BY THE
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

25DD
THE
THE UN
→VER VERMA MAO
RSITY OF MI

HIGAN
MICHIGAN
OF MIC
· LIBRARIES ·
REPORT WRITING WORKSHOP
Prepared for
by
THE COMMUNICATIONS AND OFFICE SKILLS TRAINING CENTER
BUREAU OF TRAINING
U.S. CIVIL SERVICE COMMISSION
THE COVER AND TITLE PAGE SHOULD
CLEARLY STATE THE SUBJECT, THE
ORIGIN OF THE REPORT, AND FOR
WHOM THE REPORT WAS PREPARED.
808
uberc
ro
1
Gi
I. Introduction
A. Questionnaire
B. Recommended Readings
II. Body
A.
C.
Search and Research
A.
The Word
The Sentence
III. Appendix
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B. Structure and Strategy
Organizing
Outlining ..
Layout
The Dynamics of Development
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C. Rx for Review .
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CONTENTS
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B. The Distilled Product .
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The Paragraph
The Principles of Clear Writing
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D. Supplementary Materials .
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Checklist for Revising the Rough Draft
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THE TABLE OF CONTENTS INDICATES
THE MAJOR SECTIONS OF THE REPORT....
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--
BACKGROUND
Reports have become an essential part of the communication process
in Government. There is a constant flow of them to the American
public, while within agencies they have become critical to manage-
ment decision making. Good reports do the job they're intented to
do, quickly and effectively. But poorly written reports cause
trouble. How much confusion and inconvenience have been caused by
reports which failed to inform clearly? How often have recommendations
been ignored bacause of unconvincing reports? How many times have
vague, improperly focused reports caused decision makers to decide to
do nothing? And how many American citizens have put our reports aside
in disgust and frustration, or given them only cursory consideration
because they were wordy, full of jargon, difficult to digest?
..
OBJECTIVES
Government cannot afford the expense of ineffective reports. Our
report writers must communicate facts and ideas clearly and logically,
using straight forward language, so that readers can effortlessly get
the message.
We hope this REPORT WRITING WORKSHOP will help you, the report writer,
to:
increase your understanding of the principles
of report writing
apply these principles to your own reports.
edit and review reports in terms of these principles
CONDUCT OF COURSE
-
This workshop, consisting of eight 3-hour sessions, will meet over a
three week period. Classes in the first week will be on Tuesday and
Thursday. In the next two weeks, classes will be on Monday, Wednesday,
and Friday.
THE INTRODUCTION DEFINES THE SUBJECT, POINTS OUT
THE ISSUE TO BE SOLVED, GIVES BACKGROUND, SETS
THE SCOPE OF COVERAGE, AND EXPLAINS THE PLAN OF
PRESENTATION.
5.
1. Your name:
2. Your agency:
3. Briefly describe your job.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
What kind of reports do you write?
Do you review other people's writing?
How much time do you spend each week
Writing
b. Reviewing
a.
Do you
REPORT WRITING WORKSHOP QUESTIONNAIRE
Please describe what you consider to be your major problems in
writing or reviewing.
a.
c.
Write drafts in longhand?
b. Dictate to a stenographer?
Use a dictating machine?
Use a remote control dictating setup?
Type drafts?
d.
%
e.
%
7.
1
RECOMMENDED READINGS
Bernstein, Theodore M. Watch Your Language. New York: Atheneum
publishers, 1965. Lively, informative.
Dickerson, Reed. Legislative Drafting. Boston, Little Brown & Co.,
1954. Sections on style and specific wording.
Evans, Bergen and Cornelia Evans. A Dictionary of Contemporary American
Usage. New York: Random House, 1957.
Flesch, Rudolf. How To Write, Speak, and Think More Effectively. New York,
Harper & Bros., 1960. Systematic program for self-improvement.
Includes Flesch readability formula.
Fowler, J. W. A Dictionary of Modern English Usage. New York, Oxford
University Press, 1965. Excellent reference guide.
Gilman, William. The Language of Science. New York, Harcourt,
and World, 1961.
Gowers, Sir Ernest A. Plain Words, Their ABC. New York, Knopf, 1957.
Gunning, Robert. The Technique of Clear Writing. New York, McGraw-Hill,
1952. Contains "Fog Index" for testing readability.
Hay, Robert D. Written Communications for Business Administrators.
New York, Holt, Rinehart and Winston, Inc., 1965.
Hayakawa, S. I. Language In Thought and Action. New York, Harcourt,
Brace and World, 1964. Thought-provoking.
Thought-provoking. Highly recommended.
Huber, Jack T. Report Writing in Psychology and Psychiatry.
Harper and Bros., 1961.
1946.
Janis, J. Harold. Writing and Communicating in Business. New York,
Macmillan Co., 1964. Treats business writing as form of behavior.
Johnson, Thomas P. Analytical Writing. New York, Harper and Row, 1966.
Johnson, Wendell H. People In Quandaries. New York, Harper & Bros.,
New York,
Kapp, Reginald 0. The Presentation of Technical Information. London,
Constable & Co., 1949. Functional English for scientists and
engineers.
9.
Lee, Irving J.
and Bros.,
reader.
Language Habits In Human Affairs. New York, Harper
1941: Good book on general semantics for non-specialized
Mandel, Siegfried. Proposal and Inquiry Writing. New York, Macmillan, 1962.
New York,
Perlmutter, Jerome H. A Practical Guide To Effective Writing.
1965. Good for self-improvement. Organized to parallel actual
writing experience.
Perrin, Porter G. Writer's Guide and Index To English. New York, Scott,
Foresman & Co., 1965. Standard desk reference. Easy to use.
Shidle, Norman G. The Art of Successful Communication. McGraw-Hill,
Inc., 1965
Strunk, William and E. B. White. The Elements of Style.
Macmillan, 1959. Clear, brief. Highly recommended.
paperback edition.
Tichy, Henrietta J. Effective Writing.
1966.
Thayer, Lee 0.
Administrative Communication. Homewood, Ill.,
Richard D. Irwin, Inc., 1961. Good. Contains extensive list of
books and articles on communication and closely related subjects.
U. S. Department of the Army.
D. A. Pamphlet No. 1-10.
New York,
Available in
U. S. Department of Navy. Writing Guide for Naval Officers. Washington,
1958. NAVPERS 10009.
New York, John Wiley & Sons, Inc.,
Improve Your Writing. Washington, 1959.
U. S. Department of the Air Force.
Washington, 1960. AF Manual 10-4.
Guide for Air Force Writing.
U. S. Department of the Interior. Bureau of Land Management.
Gobbledygook Has Gotta Go. By John O'Hayre. Washington,
Government Printing Office, 1966.
U. S. Internal Revenue Service. Effective Revenue Writing, Part 2.
By Calvin D. Linton. Washington, Government Printing Office,
1962. Training No. 129.
U. S. National Archives and Records Service. Plain Letters. Was hington, 1955.
Weihofen, Henry. Legal Writing Style. St. Paul, West Publishing Co., 1961.
Chapters on conciseness, simplicity, clarity, letters.
10.
---
BODY
SEARCH AND RESEARCH
Determining purpose
Limiting the subject
Gathering facts and ideas
STRUCTURE AND STRATEGY
Predicting content
Organizing functionally
Choosing a format
Using illustrative material
THE DYNAMICS OF DEVELOPMENT
The word: "skin of a living thought"
The sentence: proper words in proper places
The paragraph:
the internal design.
THE BODY OF THE REPORT PRESENTS THE
DATA AND RELATES IT TO THE PROBLEM....
11.
"
:
REPORTS ARE
"
༢ ཡ་ག་བ་ལ་མ་པ་ཕལ་
AN ACCURATE MEANS OF TRANSMITTING INFORMATION
LASTING SOURCES OF INFORMATION
VERY ECONOMICAL, SINCE THEY CAN BE CIRCULATED AT MODERATE COST
A MEANS OF GETTING ACTION
HELPFUL IN UNDERSTANDING COMPLEX PROBLEMS
**
་་


13.

2003
Reports CLASSIFIED ACCORDING TO PURPOSE
V
The performance report contains information as to the status of ac-
tivities or operations.
The fact-finding report involves the gathering and presentation of
data in logical order, without an attempt to draw conclusions.
The technical report presents data on a specialized subject.
The problem-determining report attempts to find the causes under-
lying the problem or to find out whether or not a problem really exists.
The problem-solution report analyzes the thought process that lies
behind the solution of a particular problem. It may include all the
elements found in other types of reports. This report may include a
presentation of data collected, a discussion of the possible solutions
to the problem, and an indication of the best solution.
14.
WILL THE WRITING BE READ BY
Mind
of
Writer
The
Writing
The
Reader
A STAFF
A NON-SPECIALIZED AUDIENCE
THE GENERAL PUBLIC
1
SOMEONE WHO OPPOSES CHANGE
?
SUBJECT MATTER SPECIALISTS
A TOP FLIGHT EXECUTIVE
ONE PERSON
PEOPLE WHO FAVOR CHANGE

15.

A DIAGRAM OF THE MENTAL ACTIONS OF PROBLEM-SOLVING
$7.
เ
We
Note that the actions overlap; several
often take place at the same time. For
example, at the moment represented by
the arrow, the problem solver is main-
ly gathering data, though he is also
open to suggested solutions and is still
being sure that he has the problem
recognized correctly.
17%
TIME
Analyze
MENTAL ACTIVITY
2
RECOGNITION
LIMIT
Classify
3
Evaluate
GATHER DATA
LIST
POSSIBLE
SOLUTIONS
TEST SOLUTIONS
SELECT
5 FINAL SOLUTION
APPUCATION
*
16.
SEARCH AND RESEARCH: DETERMINING PURPOSE
DEFINING THE PROBLEM
A report is a presentation of information or opinion directed to
(a) specific reader(s) and intended to solve or contribute to the
solution of some specific problem. Keep this definition in mind
while doing this exercise.
Lack of adequate parking facilities for your office has led to
frustration and discontent among the staff. Your boss has asked
you to describe the existing conditions, evaluate possibilities
for improvement, and recommend some solutions. You return to
your office and sit down at your desk, asking yourself, "How do
I begin?"
The best way to begin any report-writing assignment is to define
the problem--exactly what is your report to contain?
For this exercise, (1) write down a list of questions you think
the report should answer. Then, (2) from your list of questions,
develop a clear, concise statement (one or two sentences) of the
"core idea."
If you find yourself saying, "I know what it is I want to say,
but I don't know how to say it," then go over the problem again.
The "core idea" or thesis sentence states what the report is to
communicate. If well written, it becomes the basis for the
structure of the report.
17.
A.
B.
C.
D.
E.
F.
G.
LIMIT YOUR SUBJECT
Before you begin any research, take time to make a blueprint of
a tentative plan of approach.
Fix clearly in your mind the purpose of your research.
Define the limits of your subject and think out how to approach
it.
Before you plunge into the details of research, recall what you
already know about your subject.
Jot down ideas that you feel will give a workable solution to
the problem.
Under each main point list the minor points you need for support
and development.
Now use this tentative outline to guide you to areas that you
need to investigate.
1
18.
A.
GATHERING FACTS AND IDEAS
GENERAL REFERENCES
Nearly
An encyclopedia can give you a quick introduction to the.
problem area, or it can help you survey a whole field.
every field of knowledge has its own encyclopedias and
dictionaries. Consult the reference section of a library.
You will find large general encyclopedias, such as
Americana, Britannica, and Chambers, and the one-volume works,
such as the Columbia Encyclopedia and the Lincoln Library of
Essential Information. Special encyclopedias, such as the
Encyclopedia of Educational Research, dictionaries of
biography, and the Who's Who may be useful also.
B. CARD CATALOGS
After you form a general concept of your subject and limit
its scope, you should survey the card catalog of the library
and any office files relating to your subject.
C. INDEXES
Every profession has an index to its journals; e.g., the
Education Index, the Engineering Index. Your own agency
probably publishes indexes of current directives, regulations,
and publications. Check the index or catalog of any office that
has knowledge in the subject area of your research.
19.
D. QUESTIONNAIRES
1.
2.
3.
If you need information from many sources and send
out questionnaires, plan carefully beforehand.
6.
Make your questionnaire brief and word it clearly
´so that it will not take too long to answer.
4.
If you believe someone will hold back information,
request that the questionnaire be returned without
a name.
7.
Include an explanation of the reason for making the
study.
5.
On the other hand, if you think it is necessary to
identify each questionnaire with a name, have the
name and address typed at the top of the sheet
before it is sent out. Offering to send a copy
of the summary of results may help arouse interest
in your project and increase the amount of co-
operation you obtain.
Being objective in your research applies also to
wording a questionnaire. Don't load or slant the
questions; that is, don't word them so that you
influence the replies of the person receiving the
questionnaire.
Pretest your questionnaire with a few people to make
sure all interviewees interpret the question the same
way. Recast questions that seem to be ambiguous.
1
20.
UN
E. INTERVIEWS
1.
2.
3.
If an interview is required to obtain information, work
out ahead of time a plan for the interview.
'Decide what questions need to be answered.
Be a tactful listener and questioner during the
interview.
4.
If you see that note taking bothers the person you
are interviewing, put your pencil down and concentrate
on remembering. Write down what you need as soon as
the interview is over; but do it right away! Even
the most vivid memories fade quickly; things you were
sure you could never forget will be hazy in your mind
within a week and probably lost after a month.
Make a card for each interview. Note on the card:
5.
the person interviewed
the reason why the person is considered an
authority and
c. the place and date of the interview. If possible,
have your notes initialed by the person interviewed.
a.
b.
T
!
•
21.
EVALUATING DATA
Most of the data you will use will be
a)
b)
WITNESS REPORTS (Including your own observations)
or
OPINIONS OF AUTHORITIES
WITNESS REPORTS are made by an observer. The tests of a good witness
are his reliability, impartiality, and knowledge of the facts.
AUTHORITIES are valuable if they are really experts in their field
and are unprejudiced and up to date. Be careful of authorities on
one subject giving "expert" data on another subject.
To evaluate data, whether based on your observations and thoughts or
on the observations and thoughts of others, you must be able to recognize
emotional or illogical forms of reasoning and presentation. A knowledge
of logic and semantics should help you detect, identify, and guard
against emotional or illogical appeals in your writing as well as in
the sources you use.
22.
***
SALO
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LA
in
M
Illusion in which concentric
circles appear to make a
spiral.
A.
1
C
100
Doo
Is this reversible cube stand-
ing on its base or hanging
in mid-air?
FACTS AND INFERENCES
34.
2.
This figure may appear in
at least eight different ways
if you look at it for a long
time.
B
Are you looking down at
these stairs or are you look-
ing up at them? Keep look-
ing and watch them change
from top to bottom.
2
Ho
23.
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Walk
==
fube.
#
£25
15
14
Which is taller, the front
or the back telegraph pole?
Measure them.
"..



M
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C.



Illusion in which the diam-
eter of the plate is actually
longer than the height of
the glass.
F.
Determining the Content of a Report
James W. Souther
A defense Shipping Center is going to replace its conveyor system. The
center director has asked the chief production engineer to recommend a new
system, and he, in turn, has asked a junior engineer to obtain information on
two systems and to report that information to him. The junior engineer has
discovered the information given in paragraphs A, B, and C.
Problem 1. You are the junior engineer writing your report. What
information would you include in your report and what
would you emphasize? (Make a list of the topics you
would include.)
Problem 2. You are the chief production engineer writing your recom-
mendations to the center director. What information would you
include and what would you emphasize? (Make a list of
the topics you would include.)
Problem 3. As the junior engineer who made the conveyor system
study, you have been asked to write a letter providing
the specifications which the new conveyor system must
meet and those which would be desirable. This letter is
to be made available to companies bidding on the conveyor
system. (Make a list of the topics you would include.)
A.
Departmental Situation
The present conveyor moves products from the third floor to the
Packaging Department on the second floor, and then to the Shipping Department
on the ground floor. Every hour, it transports a maximum of 3,000 units,
weighing 30 pounds each. Present rate of shipping requires a speed of five
miles per hour, but expected increases will demand speeds up to ten miles per hour.
At times, changes are required in the route of the conveyor.
The present
system has caused little injury to personnel and has not damaged materials being
shipped. However, the conveyor has been breaking down frequently.
25.
2.
B. Roller Conveyor
The gravity roller conveyor can carry 4,000 seventy-five-pound units
per hour.
The angle of grade set at the time of installation determines
the speed.
However, the grade angle can be altered to allow speeds up to
15 miles per hour. The conveyor has a negligible breakdown history, with
an average time loss per breakdown of 0.7 hours. In addition, the point of
breakdown can be bypassed by the temporary installation of a portable
conveyor. Additional production lines need only be joined to the main
conveyor system. Records indicate that product damage is negligible and that
personnel accidents are rare. The roller system itself costs $4,700, and the
installation, which will require one and one-third weeks, will cost $3,500.
Auxiliary equipment for the conveying system would cost $250.
parts are inexpensive and available locally.
estimated at a maximum of $500 a year, and repair costs at $300.
Continuous Belt Conveyor
C.
Replacement
Preventive maintenance costs are
The continuous belt conveyor has a capacity of 4,000 one-hundred-pound
units per hour. Its speed ranges from 0 to 20 miles per hour. A continuous
belt system would cost $8,400: $7,200 for the conveying system and $1,200 for
auxiliary parts. The installation of the system would cost $5,000 and require
approximately two and one-half weeks. Only a few accidents to personnel have
been reported, and those were the result of negligence and carelessness.
addition of new facilities or production lines would require only an additional
continuous belt like between the new facility and the main conveying system.
The system is capable of moving material both up and down hill and is adaptable
to temporary changes, although electrical power has to be available at points
The
26.
-
.
mam
3.
where the motor drives are located.
Where this system has been used damage.
to materials being shipped has been quite small. The operating history of
the continuous belt system indicates an average of less than five breakdowns
per year, requiring an average of 2.8 hours of shutdown time.
The system
would require an average of $500 per year for repair cost, and $1,500 per year
for preventive maintenance. The cost of replacement parts varies depending
on the part. Drive engines, at a cost of $250 each, are the most expensive
individual parts of the system. Operating costs should average about $75
a week. Spare parts are available in the area.
27.
A
FORMATS
Introduction
Findings
Discussion
Details
B
Introduction
Summary
Procedures
Results
D (Staff paper)
-
Problem
Assumptions
Factors bearing on Problem
Discussion
Conclusions
Action recommended
-
C
Introduction
Abstract
Body
-
Conclusions
Recommendations
E
Introduction
Recommendations
Discussion
Appendix
STRUCTURE and STRATEGY


29.
1
---
---
- -
COVER
TITLE PAGE
TABLE OF CONTENTS
PREFATORY MATERIAL
Foreword
Abstainer or disclaimer
Transmittal information
SUMMARY OF FINDINGS
Purpose of report
Abstract or concise
statement of findings
LONG FORM OF REPORTS
Summary of information or
conclusions, if appropriate
Recommendations
BODY OF REPORT
FINDING IN FULL
Findings
Conclusions
Recommendations
Concluding remarks
The cover and title page should clearly
state the subject, the origin of the
report, the organization for whom the
report was prepared, and other indenti-
fying names or codes.
Major and minor sections of the report,
illustrations, charts, and legal cases
should appear with their page numbers.
As required.
Foreword can precede table of contents.
Letters of authorization, acceptance,
submittal, transmittal, and approval.
Summary can follow or take the place of an
introduction.
A brief reminder of purpose, scope, and
agreed method of approach of report.
Include references to the appropriate
other parts of the report for supporting
or implementing details.
Describes and discusses the overall pic-
ture: description of problem, its history,
why report was made, definition of terms,
methods used, equipment required, coordina-
tion and liaison, and presentation of data
and information.
Statement of pertinent facts found by the
report writer.
Statements of the significance of the find-
ings; evaluation of their importance.
Complete listing of proposals for action.
Critique, if any, by report writer regarding
the value of import in his eyes of the whole
or part of the report. (For example, the
report covers what was specifically asked
for, but the investigator also found some
relevant facts that he believes should be
brought to attention of agency requesting
report. Or, the report writer doubts the
validity of data obtained or specified by
the contractor or requestor of the report.)
31.
APPENDIX
INDEX
Notes
Exhibits
Bibliography
Material that is pertinent (pertinent means
to exclude "padding") but does not need to
be read earlier in order to understand or
use the report.
Footnotes and references should be put in
this section unless they appear at the
bottom of pages. (Easier and cheaper to
put at end of report than at bottom of
pages.)
and
Tabulations, photographs, drawings,
sample materials not absolutely required in
an earlier section.
Books, periodicals, documents, and the like,
that are impoetant for the reader or are
necessary to establish the soundness of the
reports. (A listing of what the reader may
need; not a list of impressive titles or
a demonstration that the writer knows about
a lot of books.)
If the report is overlong and detailed, and
if the table of contents does not break
down into minor sections, an index may be
helpful. Usually, however, an index in
nonessential. The report should be in logi-
cal order, with sections clearly titled so
a reader can find an item quickly without
an index.
32.
➖ ➖ ➖
•
( ) 1.
Match the statements or report components below with the section of the
report in which they should be placed.
Report:
( ) 2.
() 4.
ORGANIZING
ANALYSIS AND ORGANIZATION OF INFORMATION
A CASE STUDY OF SUPPORT OF SCIENTIFIC AND ENGINEERING RESEARCH
PROPOSALS
( ) 3. Statistical tables
Chart. Percent distribution of all proposals,
by prospective sponsor, 1967 and 1968
"This study traced the flow of research
proposals that were accepted or rejected
by Federal and non-Federal sponsors."
( )10.
() 5. One major objective was to study the
impact of proposal rejections on the
research careers of scientists and
engineers who were unable to obtain
financial support for their projects.
( ) 6. Text table. Successful original pro-
posals, by field and dollar range, 1967
and 1968.
Discussion of questionnaire design and utilization
( ) 7. "This pilot study was undertaken to
obtain information about scientific
and engineering research proposals."
( ) 8. Questionnaire forms.
( ) 9. Chart. Average size of successful proposals,
by field, 1967 and 1968
"This study was requested by the Commissioner
in a memorandum to ... on ... and was
conducted under the direction of
A. Introduction
"
B.
Summary, Conclu-
sions, and
Recommendations
C. Detailed Findings,
Body
D. Appendix
33.
( ) 11.
( ) 12.
( ) 13.
() 14.
( ) 15.
Discussion of characteristics of proposals
A.
B.
C.
Characteristics of applicants
D.
Personnel and time requirements
E. Impact of rejections.
General
Financial
Scientists whose original proposals were rejected frequently turn
to research activities not of their first choice.
Data collected suggest that sponsors' procedures for processing
research applications may be time-consuming.
Research organization and administration of selected colleges
The funds received had significant impacts on university
administrative and decision-making procedures.
34.
Report--GSA STUDY OF PUBLIC BUILDINGS SERVICE MANPOWER SITUATION IN
TERMS OF PERSONNEL DISTRIBUTION
( ) 1. The representatives conducting the study
were
( ) 2.
( ) 3.
( ) 4.
Recommend that PBS take immediate steps
to expand its Staff Structure at the
GS 5 through 9 levels.
Table--"Summary of Appointments by
Grade Levels for the Ten Regions and
Central Office."
This study was requested by the Adminis-
trator in a memorandum to ... on ... and
was conducted under the direction of
( ) 5. Age Distribution Charts
( ) 6.
a-
b- (with tables)
Recommend that PBS take immediate
steps to expand its staff structure at the
GS 5 through 9 levels:
C-
d-
-
G
...
( ) 7. Bar charts showing Grade Levels for
Architects and Engineers, Central Office
and in the Regions.
||
( ) 8. GSA Order. Subject: General Services
Administration Manpower Program
ADM 3600.1
"This order establishes an agencywide
manpower program for the General Services
Administration and incorporates all existing
program activities...'
35.
A. Introduction
B. Summary, Conclu-
sions, and
Recommendations
C.
C
Detailed Findings
Conclusions and
Recommendations
D. Appendices
Organize the following thoughts into logical groups; then arrange these
thoughts into a logical sequence.
2.
1. Checking with Job Information Center; the interview; studying the
help-wanted ads; getting a Government job; sending the Forms 170
and 171; weighing retirement benefits.
3•
MAKING YOUR THOUGHT PROCESS CLEAR TO THE READER
4.
SEGREGATE...COORDINATE...SUBORDINATE
Inadequately staffed libraries; absence of medical care; causes
for poor health; inadequate diet; unsanitary living conditions;
prevalence of small neighborhood stores.
Proofreading rough draft; signing final copy; accumulating necessary
information; reading incoming inquiry; the art of dictation;
determining purpose; organizing information; giving instructions
to the steno about the number of copies; dictating in a clear, normal
speaking voice; confusing aspects of levels of review in the XYZ
Bureau.
1
Cultivating a critical point of view toward data collected; indexes;
collecting information; determining the problem; preparing to write
a report; interpreting data; interviews; avoiding cause-effect
confusion; planning the investigation; organizing the data; drawing
conclusions; questionnaires; avoiding hasty generalizations; relating
data collected to the problem; getting the assignment; avoiding bias
in interpreting collected information.
36.
(
ORGANIZATION OF INFORMATION
Outline the following facts to fit the title "Visible Planets of the Solar
System: Their Size and Distance from the Sun." Discard irrelevant facts.
1
Mercury is the smallest of nine planets in orbit around the sun.
Jupiter has an extremely active and heavy radioactive belt.
Mercury's atmosphere may be a shallow shell of carbon dioxide.
The diameter of Saturn is 71,000 miles at the equator.
Saturn has 10 satellites.
Mercury is 36 million miles from the sun.
Saturn takes 29½ years to go around the sun.
The atmosphere of Jupiter is 25,000 miles.
Jupiter has a cloudy atmosphere.
Jupiter is the largest of planets.
Saturn is 900 million miles from the sun.
Mercury has no seasons.
The distance of Jupiter from the sun is 480 million miles.
Mercury is the nearest planet to the sun.
1
It takes 88 days for Mercury to travel around the sun.
The equatorial diameter of Jupiter is 88,000 miles.
Saturn's 10th satellite was discovered by Audouin Dollfus in December, 1966.
37.
II.
A.
I. Purpose: to discuss whether soil conditioners are practical,
or merely glamorous novelties
Advantages of soil conditioners
Aid growth of plants
B. Substitute for humus and clay
C. Useful in alkaline clay soils--especially ferric ammonium
compounds.
OUTLINING
THE KEY PHRASE OUTLINE
B.
III. Limitations of soil conditioners
D.
Soil Conditioners
A. Cause trouble in greenhouse potting
Bad effect on soil under rainy conditions
C. Limited action only to top 1/8 inch of soil if not worked in
Retardation of germination if used excessively
IV. Need for further tests
(From Successful Communication in Science and Industry by Zetler and
Crouch)
38.
!
II.
I. Purpose:
This article will discuss whether soil conditioners are
really practical or whether they are merely glamorous novelties.
The advantages of soil conditioners are readily apparent.
A. Chemical soil conditioners aid the growth of plants.
B.
Certain chemicals can be used as substitutes for humus and clays.
Ferric ammonium compounds are especially useful in alkaline
clay soils.
C.
IV.
THE SENTENCE OUTLINE
III. The limitations of soil conditioners have been demonstrated.
Soil Conditioners
B.
A. Sometimes chemical conditioners cause trouble in greenhouse
potting.
If rain comes before chemical action takes place, the soil will be dis-
persed by the rain, and the conditioner will leave it poorer
than before.
C.
If conditioners are not worked in, they will act only on the
top 1/8 inch of soil.
D. Used in excessive amounts, conditioners will retard germination.
Further tests will have to be conducted and improvements made before
soil conditioners can take the place of organic matter.
(From Successful Communication in Science and Industry by Zetler and
Crouch)
39.
The basic principles of segregating, coordinating, and subordinating
ideas apply to all levels of writing, from the construction of a
single sentence to the organization of an entire report. They meet
their acid test, however, in the construction of an outline.
As practice in using these principles, arrange the following random
listing of items into an outline. The format of the outline should
look like this:
MAKING THE OUTLINE
I. First main idea
A.
B.
Coordinate subtopic
Coordinate subtopic
C. Coordinate subtopic
A.
1. Subordinate topic
2. Subordinate topic
II. Second main topic
Coordinate subtopic
etc.
Each item has its place; the problem is to decide which are main
topics, which are coordinate subtopics, and which are subordinate
topics. The way to approach this exercise is to think carefully
about the subject heading, study the entire list of items, and
enter on separate sheets of paper the topics which are likely to
have subheadings. Then go through the list as often as necessary
to find the logical "home" for each item.
Be sure that your coordinate topics (A, B, and C, above) are of
the same importance and logical weight. Check to see that your
coordinate topics add up to what your main topic promises under
that heading. Likewise, be sure that your subordinate topics
equal what their headings set out.
Provide for parallelism of form among coordinate units in your
final outline. Rephrase as you choose. Remember, however, to
use complete sentences for each item. A sentence will pin down
your topic to more exact terms than a phrase which covers a wide,
general area.
T
I
1
40.
T
2.
1. State the core idea. Try to express in a single sentence a positive
statement of the main idea you want to develop in your letter, memo,
report, etc.
3.
4.
5.
MAKING YOUR REPORTS MORE EFFECTIVE
6.
Steps of the Scratch Outline Technique
Jot down a list of all the ideas and facts which you think will help
to develop the core idea. Use the free association method. Put down
quickly whatever comes to mind. Do not worry about order, overlap of
ideas, or anything else. This is no time to be critical.
Eliminate irrelevant items in your list. After you have run dry of
lesser ideas needed to develop the main, or core, idea, then you can
begin to get critical. Using the core idea as a guide, go down your
list and cross out those items which are not truly related to what you
want to say. This process can work two ways. You may eliminate some
items, but, in considering what you have in the list, you also may find
it necessary to revise and refine the core idea. Incidentally, do not
overlook the need to refine the core idea during later steps.
Group related items. Looking over your list, start putting together
Make a
two or more groups of items which have obvious similarities.
new list in which the groups of similar items are separated from each
other. At this point, you may begin to think of ideas which you over-
looked in jotting down your preliminary list. These new ideas may go
into groups you already are forming, or they may form a new group.
the latter case, check these latecomers with your core idea.
In
Balance, or relate, the groups of similar items. Once your groupings of
ideas are fairly well along, think of headings (sentences or phrases)
which indicate why the items in each group are related to each other
and how the group is related to the core idea. These headings will show
the pattern of relationships in what you want to say. Again, new ideas
may occur to you, or refining the core idea may be necessary.
Also,
you should look to see if the headings of some groups are similar enough,
so that these groups and their headings should be placed under a still
broader and common heading. For example:
Heading
Heading
Item
Item
Heading
Item
Item
Arrange the final order of your groups and of the items within each
group. In order to develop your core idea most effectively, decide
41.
which group of items you wish to write about first; which, next; and so on.
Do the same for the items within each group. You can indicate the order
you want simply by putting Arabic numerals before the headings and the items.
For example:
2 Heading
3 Item
1 Item
2 Item
1 Heading
1 Item
2
Item
42.
In the late 1950's the management of a company manufacturing
bicycles in the United States became concerned about a decline in sales
and almost vanishing profits. The company faced intense competition
from other United States manufacturers, and even more serious competition
from foreign manufacturers, whose production costs were much lower than
those of any United States company. The foreign companies were able to
undersell any American manufacturer by a wide margin, and although they had
captured less than half of the domestic market, their share was rising
steadily. The company asked a management consultant for his recommendations.
EXERCISE IN OUTLINING
After analyzing the problems of the company, the consultant reached a
number of conclusions. The following paragraphs summarize these conclusions.
The problem is to come up with a logical presentation. Write an introductory
paragraph and the first sentence of each subsection.
1.
2.
The company could reduce its costs by importing parts from
Europe instead of buying them from United States parts
European parts are much cheaper and are of
manufacturers.
equal quality.
The tariff on imported bicycles is now 11.25 per cent on
lightweight bicycles and 22.5 per cent on all others.
These rates were raised, in 1955, from 7.5 per cent and
15 per cent, after an urgent appeal by the domestic
manufacturers. The lower rates had been instituted in
1948, when, under the General Agreement on Tariffs and
Trade, the normal rate of 30 per cent was reduced. The
company could join with others in the industry to urge
the restoration of the original 30 per cent duty, but it
would not be practical to attempt to persuade Congress
to raise the rate beyond that. Although even a 30 per
cent duty would still permit foreign manufacturers to
undersell United States manufacturers, the higher rate
would help the domestic companies. In fact it would be
more effective than would importing the parts.
To obtain a higher rate, however, it would be important
for the entire domestic industry, both bicycle manufacturers
and parts manufacturers, to present a united front. The
parts manufacturers might be unwilling to support a plea
for higher tariffs on bicycles if the domestic bicycle
manufacturers imported parts.
3. Foreign bicycle manufacturers are taking a larger share of
the United States market every year. Even if the company
were to buy its parts in Europe and have the tariff restored
to 30 per cent, it still could not meet the prices of foreign-
made bicycles. There is no significant appeal that can be
made to buyers of bicycles that will offset the effect of
the lower price of the foreign bicycles.
G
43.
4.
An increase in the tariff on bicycles to 30 per cent would
be of some help, but a quota on imports would be even more
helpful. True, foreign manufacturers could still undersell
domestic manufacturers, but there would be a limit to the
number of bicycles that could be imported. The growth of
the foreign companies' share of the market would thus be
halted. A united industry might be able to persuade the
President to impose such quotas. As in the case of an
appeal for higher tariffs, it would be important to have the
support of the parts manufacturers.
5.
6.
7.
9.
10.
The company should diversify its manufacturing activities
by making products other than bicycles. Bicycle manufacturing
in the United States has no future. Even if quotas were to
prevent foreign manufacturers from obtaining a larger share of
the market, the company would still be unable to make a
reasonable profit on its bicycles.
The middleweight bicycle, introduced only two years ago, seems
to offer the best opportunity for the company, at least in the
short run.
Foreign manufacturers have captured a large part
of the market for lightweight and regular-weight bicycles,
but have not entered the middleweight market.
8.
If the company decides to continue the manufacture of bicycles,
it should import some parts. Any risk involved is more than
offset by the cost savings. Other United States manufacturers
are already importing parts.
If the company imports parts, the American parts manufacturers
may cease making important parts. This would leave the
company, and other domestic bicycle manufacturers, with no
local source of supply.
The company should try to persuade the industry to press for
import quotas. If quotas are not obtainable, the next best
thing is higher tariffs.
If a quota or higher tariffs were obtained, foreign bicycle
manufacturers might retaliate by bringing pressure of foreign
parts manufacturers to stop them from selling parts to the
American manufacturers.
T
44.
1.
2.
حبا
The major aim of the training is to prepare the volunteer to
undertake with confidence the assignment that lies ahead.
4. New courses are constantly being held.
5. Criteria for joining VISTA are few.
Language instruction is not generally part of the VISTA training
program.
6.
8.
9.
Another training objective is to test the abilities of volunteers
in conditions of poverty.
The training program lasts from four to six weeks.
They work in tenements and shacks.
11. VISTA (Volunteers in Service to America) is one of the major
anti-poverty programs.
You must have no dependents under 18 years of age.
13. Training is a year-round operation.
They work among the sick and disabled, the young and old.
Training is conducted by universities and colleges and some non-
profit private groups familiar with the problems of the poor.
The VISTA training includes workshops, discussions, and field work.
VISTA offers an opportunity for men and women from all economic,
geographic, social, and age groups to offer their skills and
services wherever poverty exists.
They work on Indian reservations and in migrant worker camps.
10.
12.
14.
15.
16.
VISTA VOLUNTEERS AND THEIR TRAINING
17.
There are no special language requirements for VISTA.
Assignments of VISTA volunteers offer an outlet for virtually
every talent and skill.
18.
1.
An assignment may involve aiding the handicapped or acting as a
recreation leader.
45.
Training groups consist of 30 to 50 volunteers.
20. Training programs are conducted throughout the country.
It was established by the Economic Opportunity Act of 1964.
The training program is designed to assist volunteers to adapt
their skills to the jobs they will have.
They work in cities, small towns, and rural areas.
You must be a United States citizen or a permanent resident
of this country or one of its territories.
19.
21.
22.
23.
24.
25.
26.
One aim of the training program is to assist volunteers to
learn techniques useful in carrying out their assignments.
You must be at least 18 years old.
46.

Preparing.
STATE PURPOSE
OBTAIN INFORMATION
ANALYZE INFORMATION
MAKE CONCLUSIONS AND
RECOMMENDATIONS
BUT
1
Presenting..
STATE PURPOSE-- INTRODUCTION
PRESENT CONCLUSIONS OR
RECOMMENDATIONS-- FINDINGS
DISCUSS AND PROVE FINDINGS-- BODY
INCLUDE DETAILS--APPENDIX
LAYOUT

47
MAKING YOUR REPORTS MORE EFFECTIVE
Determining Report Layout and Illustrations
Effective use of layout and well planned illustrations contribute
significantly to the impact of a report. Not only does layout and the use
of illustrations make a report more attractive and more interesting, but
well planned layout and well designed visual support make the report content
more comprehensible and more easily used. Poor layout and ineffective
illustrations make report content difficult to understand and almost impos-
sible to use yet what determines layout? What characterizes the effective
illustration?
Layout
Two kinds of layout are involved in writing reports. Too often, the
writer fails to distinguish between external layout (the report form) and
internal layout (the use of headings and subheadings). Consequently, he
cannot use layout positively, he cannot make it work for him.
External-layout
the form of the report.
Report form (letter, article, formal) is determined by (1) the
amount and complexity of the material to be included in the
report and (2) the circulation of the finished report and the
use to be made of it.
und
Internal layout - the use of headings and subheadings.
the use of headings and subheadings and their layout on the
page is controlled by the organization of the material to be
presented.
Once the writer realizes the difference between external and internal
layout and identifies the factors that influence their use and choice, he
can then make layout work for him. He can use it to package his ideas for
use and to emphasize the relationship he sees in the material he presents.
External layout (report form)
Title
Author by-line
Submitted to line
Date of report
Letter of transmittal
Table of contents
Abstract
Thumb tabs
Appendix
Index
Internal layout (headings and subheadings)
Used to (1) identify subject and parts of a report and
(2) relate the various parts (coordination and subordination).
49.
t
Devices:
Location
Space:
More space around title the greater the emphasis.
Capitalization or lower case
Underlined or not underlined
Center - line by self
Lefthand margin - Line by self
Lefthand margin First line of text
When to Use
1.
Since illustrations support written discussion, they must be used with
purpose and integrated with the discussion itself. Illustrative material,
either tables or figures, should be used whenever it will add communication.
To be effective, an illustration must aid the reader to understand more fully
the verbal presentation. Illustrations can reduce the number of words re-
quired to express an idea, but they cannot eliminate the need for verbal
explanation.
-
3.
4.
5
6.
2.
To show over-all view and relationships of detail concisely
and in little space.
3•
To provide emphasis and clarity for textual discussion.
Qualities of Illustrations
1.
2.
Illustrations
Simplicity and emphasis
Designed to illustrate the point.
Clarity of self-contained meaning.
Support textual discussion.
Keyed to discussion.
Placed in report so as to be convenient to the reader.
7. No more detail than required to accomplish its function.
Better:
To show detail difficult to describe verbally: i.e., analysis
of material, process flow, physical and chemical character-
istics, complex structure (atomic), et cetera.
1
-
-
The significance of the material presented in illustrations must be
discussed in the text. Just referring to the illustration is not sufficient.
Poor: "Figure 5 shows the two major assemblies of the transmitter."
"The transmitter consists of two major assemblies, as shown
in Figure 5, page 21: (1) a bellows, range spring, and
50.
A few of the basic rules that govern the use of illustrations are
given below:
Integrating illustrations with text
1.
body and (2) a movable solenoid transformer and housing.
The body and housing are bolted together, and the plunger,
which acts as the movable core of the transformer, is
linked mechanically to the bellows and range spring."
2. Consistent use of detail. The illustration and the text
should be at the same level of detail.
4
3. Cross reference. The reader should be told when to look
at the illustration. Include both figure and page number.
The reference should come near the beginning of the dis-
cussion.
5.
Consistent nomenclature. The same nomenclature should be
used in both the illustration and the text.
1.
6. Place illustrations at the end of the report if they are
included for the reader to refer to, should he want to go
more deeply into the material.
2
The illustration should not precede the discussion.
Place the illustration in the text of the report if the
reader needs it in order to understand the report.
Place the illustrations in the report so that it will be
most useful for the reader.
Kinds of Illustrations
1.
Photographs
a.
bo
C.
do
a.
Block diagrams
b.
c.
Should have a definite function.
Should include callouts to supplement the text.
Should be retouched as required to accomplish
the purpose of the illustration.
Should identify important relationships, size,
position, emphasis, et cetera.
C.
Should be easy to read and follow.
Should be accurate and agree with its schematics.
Should be consistent in nomenclature and signal path
lines when several levels of diagrams are used.
a. Should be a simplified version of a detailed drawing.
b.
Should be laid out to improve presentation.
Should be technically accurate and identifiable
with detailed diagrams.
3. Simplified diagrams
51.
Tables
1.
2.
3.
4.
1
2
4. Graphs and Curves
3.
4.
5
6.
7.
a.
bo
c.
d.
text.
e.
f.
General Principles
g.
h.
Should present a number of values almost simul-
taneously, yet so the reader can grasp them at a
glance.
Should show relationships between continuously
varying phenomena.
Should show detail as required to understand.
Should contain scale, name of variable and the units
in which it is measured. Scale should not distort
information.
Should be concise and as short as possible.
Should contain titles and headings.
Should contain units of measurement.
Should contain bold lines.
Should use as coarse a grid as will permit values
to be read with necessary accuracy.
Should not contain lettering on grid.
Should have a label for each curve and as few curves
as possible.
Should be boxed for clarity.
that boxing is needed).
Should contain concise, short headings.
Should contain sufficient white space for easy readability.
Should be presented on `ne page if at all possible.
(The more complex the more
Tables and figures are not a substitute for text. They are used to
classify, to compare, or to describe data or relationships being
discussed. Their significance should be clearly indicated in the
Titles and subtitles, with captions and legends, should make tables
and figures fully understandable without reference to the text.
Tables are titled at the top and numbered with Roman numerals.
Figures are titled at the bottom and numbered with Arabic numerals.
All tables and figures should be referred to in the text, at an
appropriate moment for effective use.
When collections of data must be included as a matter of record, for
ready reference, or in substantiation of a generalization, they are
best placed in an appendix. Otherwise, illustrative material should
be as close to the pertinent discussion as possible. Preferably,
it should not precede the relevant text.
52.
DO
1.
2.
3.
ム​。
6.
7.
8.
Percent of working wives who worked full time by presence and
age of children (in 1974)
Comparison of the percent of population enrolled in school in
1910 and 1975
5. Status of 2,304 enrollees who completed training from November 1967
through June 1968
Distance 75 families would be willing to travel for a farm
vacation
Comparison of privately-owned passenger cars by number of
registered cars and people per car for 1925 and 1975
How would you present the following data:
a.
a. Those employed in training-related jobs
b. Those awaiting referral to jobs
C. Those employed in non-related jobs
Distribution of full-time federal employment by geographic area
PROBLEMS
b.
DC metropolitan area
C.
Hawaii
d. Alaska
e.
£.
8.
Territories
Foreign countries
Other 48 states
Total
Relationships of various top members of the Federal Communications
Commission
Annaul rates and salary steps for Grades 1-18 as of October 1967
53.
ABSTRACT, GENERAL
writing
as soon as possible
equipment
the majority
top management
writing
in the near future
machine
THE DYNAMICS OF DEVELOPMENT: THE WORD
very pure
the Government spokesman said...
vehicle
The American Public feels...
visual aids
office appurtenances
storage structure
financial institution
1
The environmental effects,
although extremely important,
are often so subtle and so
confounded with other effects
we neither realize nor appreciate
the true climatic effects and the
resulting advantages of properly
recognizing the environmental
conditions.
CONCRETE, SPECIFIC
report
by June 7
typewriters
62 percent
John Jones, Director
report
by Friday afternoon.
16mm film projector
99 44/100 percent pure
Sally Hertz, administrative
aide to..,said...
car
Dave Caldwell, Iowa farmer, feels...
slides, filmstrips
desks, chairs
grain elevator
bank
??
54.
1
THE ABSTRACT VS. THE CONCRETE
OF ALL THE SCIENCES, NONE PENETRATES SO DEEPLY INTO THE STRUCTURE
OF THE HUMAN ENVIRONMENT AS CHEMISTRY. Chemical processes and principles
are basic to life in all its phases. They appear in such familiar
activities as building a fire, raising crops, preparing food, relieving
illness, and in producing virtually every commodity of the commerce
which has marked civilization's ascent from the cave.
For the better part of six thousand years of recorded history,
however, men established their living conditions very much on the
products of nature as they found them. They built with stone, wood
or clay; they wove cloth from cotton, wool or silk; they made shoes,
harnesses, and saddles from animal skins.
Gradually, they began to make changes in the products of nature
to satisfy their desire for a better way of life. They won metals
such as copper and iron from natual ores, made concrete, paper, and
gunpowder. In the course of the past half century or so, this innovating
process has been most radically accelerated. The natural directions
of chemical reaction have been replaced or augmented by a series of
induced reactions which rearrange the limited raw materials of nature
into endless patterns of usefulness. Now we build with metal alloys,
glass, hundreds of plastics; weave nylon and other synthetic fibers;
manufacture countless dyes and pharmaceuticals; make fuels, rubber
automobiles, airplanes, and spacecraft largely from synthetic materials.
55.
THE PROCESS THROUGH WHICH THESE OPPORTUNITES HAVE BEEN SEIZED AND
THE BENEFITS ENLISTED TO THE SERVICE OF MANKIND IS NOW RECOGNIZED AS
CHEMICAL ENGINEERING, ONE OF THE NEWEST OF THE PROFESSIONS.
Written by George Holbrook.
ed. by Albert Love and James Saxon Childers. p. 63.
From Listen to Leaders in Engineering,
56.
ANALYZE YOUR AUDIENCE
The general theory of relativity owes its existence in the
first place to the empirical fact of the numerical equality of the
inertial and gravitational mass of bodies, for which fundamental fact
classical mechanics provided no interpretation. Such an interpretation
is arrived at by an extension of the principle of relativity to co-ordinate
systems accelerated relatively to one another. The introduction of
co-ordinate systems accelerated relatively in inertial systems involves
the appearance of gravitational fields relative to the latter.
a result of this, the general theory of relativity, which is based
on the equality of inertia and weight, provides a theory of the gravitational
field.
As
Albert Einstein, Essays in Science. New York, Philosophical Library, Inc.,
1934, p. 50.
57.
ANALYZE YOUR AUDIENCE
What takes place can be illustrated with the help of our rich
The atom M is a rich miser who, during his life, gives away no
money (energy). But in his will he bequeaths his fortune to his sons
M' and M", on condition that they give to the community a small amount,
less than one thousandth of the whole estate (energy or mass).
The sons together have somewhat less than the father had (the mass
sum M' and M" is somewhat smaller than the mass M of the radioactive
man.
atom). But the part given to the community, though relatively small,
is still so enormously large (considered as kinetic energy) that it
brings with it a great threat of evil. Averting that threat has become
the most urgent problem of our time.
Albert Einstein, Out Of My Later Years. New York, Philosophical Library,
Inc,. 1950, p. 53.
58.
1
1.
2.
حبا
4.
5.
6.
7.
PERPLEXING PRONOUNS
The director hoped that the supervisor was in because he wanted
to see him.
Dr. Nash could not attend the meeting which caused him to miss the
discussion of the new accounting system.
Any employee can apply for the job if they desire.
If preliminary investigations disclose reasons for discontinuing
the procedure, this will be done.
Time and motion experts indicate that if unnecessary or improper
motions are employed, this will lead to employee fatigue and
decreased production.
Since the investigations are completed and the hearings are over,
the report on them must be filed within two weeks.
The astronomers are studying the phenomena to determine its
implications for our space program.
59.
8.
A great reliance on abstract words is habit forming which is
easy to fall into.
9.
10.
11.
A job for a computer programmer, GS-9, is posted which is a
good field to get into these days.
The President appointed Senator Burns as chairman of the new
economic committee because he was interested in the committee's
work.
It will not be necessary to fill out the questionnaire if the
hogs were reported by someone else. If reported by someone else,
give their names and addresses below so we may check our records
to see that they were reported.
60.
MEMORANDUM FOR THE DIRECTOR OF PERSONNEL
Proposed: Allocation of a position titled:
Director of Personnel, Industrial and Agrarian Priorities, GS-14
Description of duties and responsibilities.
1. Without direct or intermediate supervision, and with a broad latitude
for independent judgment and discretion, the incumbent directs, controls,
and regulates the movement of interstate commerce, representing a
section of the wealth of the American economy.
2. On the basis of personal judgment founded on past experience,
conditioned by erudition and disciplined by mental intransigence, the
incumbent integrates the variable factors in an evolving situation and
on the basis of simultaneous cogitation formulates a binding decision
relative to the priority of flow in interstate commerce both animate
and inanimate. These decisions are irreversible and are not subject to
appellate review by a higher authority nor can they be reversed by the
legal determination of any echelon of our judicial complex.
3. The decisions of the incumbent are important since they affect with
great finality the movement of agricultural produces, forest products,
minerals, manufacturers' goods, machine tools, construction equipment,
military personnel, defense materials, raw materials and products, finished
goods, semi-finished products, small business, large business, public
utilities, and government agencies.
4. In the effective implementation of these responsibilities the
incumbent must exercise initiative, ingenuity, imagination, intelligence,
industry, and discerning versatility. The incumbent must be able to deal
effectively with all types of personalities and all levels of education
from college president to industrial tycoon, to truck driver.
Above all,
the incumbent must possess decisiveness and the ability to implement
motivation on the part of others consistent with the decision the incumbent
had indicated. An erroneous judgment, or a failure to properly appraise
the nuance of an unfolding development could create a complete obfuscation
of personnel and equipment generating an untold loss of mental equilibrium
on the parts of innumerable personnel of American Industry who are
responsible for the formulation of day-to-day policy and guidance
implementation of the conveyances of transportation both intrastate
and interstate.
IN SHORT, ON HIGHWAY CONSTRUCTION PROJECTS WHERE ONLY ONE-WAY
TRAFFIC IS POSSIBLE THIS INCUMBENT WAVES A RED FLAG AND TELLS WHICH
CAR TO GO FIRST.
61.
INSTEAD OF:
afford an opportunity
and/or
any and all
at an early date.
attach together, attached please find
before, in the past
concerning, regarding, respecting
brief in duration
contemplate
by the use of
enclosed herewith is
I am of the opinion
I am (not) in a position to
I should appreciate your advising me
transmit
under date of
SAY IT SIMPLY
we are in receipt of
will you be good enough to
interpose no objections
in lieu of
is predicated on the assumption
perceive
TRY:
allow
and or or (usually one or
the other is enough)
any or all
soon, give specific date
attach, attached is
use before or in the past
about
brief
plan, intend
by
enclosed is
I think
I can (not)
Please tell me
send
on, dated
we have
Please
agree with, approve
in place of, instead of
assumes
see, understand
1
62.
INSTEAD OF:
pursuant to
raise the question
in reference to
with a minimum of delay
TRY:
according to
ask
regarding
as soon as possible
63.
USE WORDS IN VERB FORM
Health, growth, development, and fortification of the body
against all kinds of diseases, all of which are directly affected
by the vitamin content of the amounts and increasing kinds of foods
eaten, can be influenced by a careful selection and preparation of foods.
Choose and prepare foods carefully. The vitamins you get in
your food affect how you feel, how you grow and develop, and how you
fight off diseases.
*
64.
1.
2.
3.
६०
5.
5.
8.
CAMOUFLAGED VERBS
I would like to make the suggestion that the study be brought to
a conclusion.
What you have related is indicative of her interest in the work.
The surgeon was scheduled to perform an examination of the patient
earlier today.
He made the decision to have a talk with his secretary before she
left.
After making a study of the situation, the analyst made a report
to the Division Chief.
He was recently given an award of $250 for instituting an improvement
in purchasing practices in his office.
1.
The expert from the Water Pollution Control Center achieved pur-
ification of the water.
To prevent accidents, they conducted an analysis of safety standards
in the office and made recommendations concerning needed changes.
65.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
Both Mr. James and his supervisor are found to be in agreement.
The findings give proof of his speculations.
We must take into consideration the number of people attending and
then make provisions for a meeting place.
The group quickly arrived at the decision to hold daily meetings.
The committee made an appraisal of the damage.
He knew that he would be successful in the enterprise.
A careful auditor should take a look at all expenditures.
66.
TRY:
TRY:
How To Succeed In Wordiness
Without Really Trying
Approve or accept
Confessed and acknowledged
Free and clear from
Good and sufficient
Intents and purposes
Mutually understood and agreed
Null and void
Of any sort and kind
Part and parcel
Save and except
To have and to hold
Undertakes and agrees
Unless and until
Various and sundry
Ways and means
A real basis in fact
Actual fact
or
Advance planning
As one example, for instance
Basic fundamentals
67.
Blue in color
Both alike
Combine together
Connect together
Consolidate together
Continue to remain
Equally as good
Evidently seemed
Exactly similar
First beginnings
Further, as a second requirement
Invisible to the eye
Joint cooperation
Just exactly
Main essentials
Nearly approximate
Necessary requisite.
Paid the total amount in full
Resultant effect
Return back
Round in shape
1
True fact
1
68.
THE WATCHLIST
Watch for the words and phrases on this list. Some of them are overworked.
Others are used incorrectly. Many are longer than need be. (Excerpt
from "Plain Letters" issued by GSA)
ABEYANCE. Held in abeyance is a pompous phrase. Wait and postpone action
are more natural expressions.
ABOUT. He will arrive at about nine o'clock is not a correct sentence.
Use at or about, but not both.
ABOVE should not be used in the sense of more than. His wages are more
than (not above) $5000 a year.
ACCOMPANIED BY. The preposition with is usually better, as his letter
with (instead of accompanied by) the application.
ACCOMPLISHED may be expressed as done.
ACCUMULATE. Gather is a good plain word to replace this one.
ACQUAINT. Instead of acquainting your readers with facts, tell or inform
them.
ADDITIONAL. Vary the use of this overworked adjective. Use added.
ADVISE. Tell, inform, and say are fresher words for letters.
advised is a useless phrase in any letter.
AFFORD AN OPPORTUNITY. Allow is suggested as a replacement for this
overworked phrase.
ALL-AROUND is not correct. Use all-round.
You are
ALL OF. Say all the workers, not all of the workers.
ALTERNATIVE, CHOICE. Alternative refers to two only; choice, to two or
more. Since there is only one alternative to another, don't say the
only other alternative; simply say the alternative.
AMOUNT, NUMBER are often used loosely. An amount is a sum total; number,
as a noun refers to collective units. You have an amount of money,
and a number of errors.
ANTICIPATE means to foresee or prevent by prior action. Don't use it
when you actually mean expect.
ANXIOUS is proper pnly when anxiety actually exists. We are eager to
write good letters, not anxious.
ANY. Don't follow superlatives with any, as Lincoln's letters are the
best of any,
When used in a comparative statement, any must be followed
by other, as that letter is better than any other he has written.
ANY PLACE is not good usage. Say anywhere.
69.
APPEAR. A woman appears to be young, but she seems to be intelligent.
Appear usually suggests that which is visible.
APPRECIATE YOUR INFORMING US is a clumsy phrase that can be replaced with
a simpler one, as please write us or please tell us.
APPROXIMATELY is overworked.
Why not say about?
This is a "hedger" to be avoided.
APPARENTLY.
ᎪᏢᎢ . Don't use this word when you mean likely. Apt suggests predisposition.
A tactless person is apt to write a blunt letter, but delayed replies
are likely (not apt) to damage public relations.
Say about ten dollars.
ASCERTAIN is a big word often used when the little word learn is better.
Don't use ascertain unless you want to put over the idea of effort in
getting facts.
ASSISTANCE. Let's have more help and aid, and less assistance.
AROUND. Around ten dollars is incorrect.
AT---
--All times. Say always
--This time. Say now.
--The present time. Say now.
-- An early date. Won't soon do?
--Your earliest convenience.
not come .
-The earliest possible moment. This may be the moment the moment
arrives.
ATTACHED- - -
--Please find
- - Hereto
-- Herewith
Do you mean this? A convenient time may
Worn out letter language.
Attached is adequate.
ATTENTION IS INVITED OR ATTENTION IS CALLED should be needless. If a
sentence doesn't make its point without these emphatics, it needs
rewriting.
BASIS.
BALANCE. You may have a balance on an account, but that which is left
after something is taken away is a remainder, as the remainder of the
year, the remainder of the office force.
Instead of saying as a basis for, simply say for.
BE BACK in the sense of return is not preferable.
(not be back in) the office Tuesday.
Say, he will return to
BETWEEN AMONG. Between properly refers to two only.
referring to more than two.
Among is used in
70.
BIANNUAL, BIENNIAL. Biannual, like semi-annual, means twice a year. Biennial
means every two years.
BIMONTHLY means every two months. Semi-monthly is used to express twice.
monthly.
CLAIM. Do not use claim as an intransitive verb. Claim ownership, but
don't claim to be efficient.
COGNIZANCE. Avoid this big word both in its legal meaning of jurisdiction
and in its common meaning of heed or notice. Instead of saying under
the cognizance of this office, be specific, as this office does not audit
travel vouchers. Instead of saying having cognizance of this fact, say
aware of this fact.
COMMENCE. Begin or start are stout little words that should not be
forgotten.
CONTRIBUTE. What's wrong with give?
CONSIDERED OPINION. Forget this one.
CONSIDERABLE. Use this word only as an adjective.
CONSUMMATE. You really like big words if you use this one in the sense
of complete or bring about.
DATE. Instead of this date, say today.
on or dated.
DEMONSTRATES. Shows is a good plain word to substitute for this one.
DETERMINE. Overworked.
Decide or find out may be substituted.
Don't use this word for happen, occur, take place.
DUE TO THE FACT THAT is a roundabout way of saying because.
DURING suggests continuously, throughout. In (not during) the meeting he
brought up the question of pay raises.
EMPLOYED. is overworked in the sense of used.
DEVELOP.
Instead of under date of, say
ENCOUNTER DIFFICULTY is an unnecessary euphemism for find it hard, or
have trouble.
ENDEAVOR TO ASCERTAIN, high-sounding phrase though it is, simply means
try to find out.
EQUIVALENT is seldom better than equal.
EVENT. is not to be used for incident, affair, and happening, unless the
occurrence is particularly noteworthy.
EXPIRATION. End is just as final.
71.
FACILITATE is another popular Government word. It means make easy, but it
makes hard reading for some people.
FEW, LESS. Few is for numbers; less is for quantities or amounts. Write
fewer pages and say less.
FIRST is both an adjective and an adverb. Don't say firstly.
FOLLOWING. He retired after (not following) an outstanding career.
FINALIZE, FINALIZATION. These are manufactured words. Why manufacture such
words when you have end, conclude, and complete?
FOR---
--Your information. Superfluous.
--The month of July. For July.
-The reason that. Since, because, as.
FULLEST POSSIBLE EXTENT. A meaningless padding.
IF--
--Doubt is entertained. Say if doubtful.
--It is deemed satisfactory. Say is satisfactory.
IN---
--Compliance with your request. Say as requested.
--Addition to. Say besides.
-
--A satisfactory manner. Say satisfactorily.
--The near future. Say soon.
--The event that. Say if.
The amount of. Say for.
--Order to.
Say to.
--Regard to. Say about.
--View of the fact that.
-
-
Say as.
--A position to. Say we cannot rather than we are not in a position to.
Errors and mistakes are not glossed over by this euphemism.
INASMUCH AS. As, since, and because are a lot shorter.
INDICATE is overworked, but show is a stout little word.
INFORMED. You are informed should be a useless phrase in any letter.
INITIAL is overworked, but first is not used enough.
INITIATE is a Government favorite for which begin is synonymous. Sometimes
the word can be omitted, as in the phrase initiate a citation (cite).
INADVERTENCY.
LEAST is used when more than two persons or things have been mentioned.
Use less when only two persons or things have been mentioned: He is
the less (not least) forceful of the two speakers.
I
72.
In place of is more appropriate for letters.
LIKE. Never use like to introduce a subject and its verb. He wrote
as (not like) he spoke.
LOCATE. You find (not locate) a file.
LIEU.
MAKES PROVISION FOR. Try using does.
NEAR is incorrectly used in this sentence: There is not near enough.
Use nearly.
NOMINAL means in name, and by implication small. Why not say small?
NONE as a subject is usually plural unless a singular subject is
clearly indicated. None of the jobs are open. None of the work is done.
NOTWITHSTANDING THE FACT THAT is the longwinded way of saying although
or even though.
ON is superfluous in stating days and dates. He arrived Tuesday, not
on Tuesday.
OPTIMUM is Latin for best. Let's stick to English.
OUT is superfluous in phrases like start out and lose out. He started
(not started out) as a messenger.
OVER should be avoided when you mean more than in referring to a number.
There were more than (not over) five hundred people at the meeting.
OVER THE SIGNATURE OF is an unnatural way of saying signed by.
PAMPHLET need not be described as little. The suffix let on words like
booklet, leaflet, and hamlet, means little or small.
PART. Our error is better than an error on our part.
PARTICIPATE is a common word, but take part is a good plain way of saying
the same thing.
PER need not be used for our English article a. Avoid the Latin terms,
per annum, per diem, and so on. Say a year and a day.
Photostats is a word now generally accepted.
PHOTOSTATIC COPIES.
PORTION. Part of the time, not portion of the time.
POSSESS. Why not have?
PRACTICALLY. is overworked. Use virtually, almost, nearly.
73.
PRECLUDE. Do you use this word whenever you can work it in? Vary your
usage with shut out or prevent. Many letterwriters overwork the phrase
preclude the necessity.
PREDICATED ON THE ASSUMPTION. Forget this one.
PREVENTIVE is better than the irregular doublet preventative.
PREVIOUS TO, PRIOR TO. Why not before?
PROCESS OF PREPARATION doesn't make the action any more important than
being prepared or NAVAIR is preparing.
PROCURE. Some people say this is the common Government word for get.
PROVEN should not be used as the past participle of prove. Use proved.
Proven may be used as an adjective.
PROMULGATE. A long word for issue.
PROVIDING should not be used for if or provided. Providing low-cost houses
is a problem but we will meet the problem provided the builders get
supplies.
PURSUANT TO. Under will usually take the place of this one.
QUITE means really, truly, wholly, positively.
like quite a few and quite some.
Avoid its use in phrases
RARELY EVER, SELDOM EVER. Ever is superfluous in phrases like these.
Say we seldom fail, not we seldom ever fail.
RECENT DATE is meaningless. Either give the date of the letter or omit
any reference to it.
REGARDING is overworked. Little words wear better, so try using about
oftener.
RENDER. Use give in the sense of giving help.
RESPECTING. If you mean about, why not say about?
RETAIN. Keep is not a word to shun.
STATE is more formal than say.
SECURE. Avoid this word when get, take or obtain is better.
SELDOM EVER. Ever is superfluous.
SOME should not be used in the sense of somewhat, a little, or rather.
His letters are somewhat (not some) better.
74.
STILL REMAINS.
SUBMITTED. Sent.
Still adds nothing to the meaning of remains.
SUBSEQUENT TO. After.
SUFFICIENT.
THIS--.
Enough.
--Is to inform you. Omit.
--Is to acknowledge and thank you.
Thank you is enough.
75.
Distinguish between words of similar sound and spelling, and use the spelling
demanded by the meaning.
accede - to comply with
exceed to surpass
accent - stress in speech or writing
ascent
act of rising
consent
assent
G
accept - to take; receive
except - to exclude
access admittance
excess
surplus
GOO
w
adapt to suit oneself to
adept - proficient
adopt to make one's own
-
WORDS THAT SOUND ALIKE BUT DIFFER IN MEANING
adherence - attachment
adherents - followers
adverse
averse unwilling; reluctant
-
Sp
advice counsel; a notice
advise to recommend (not used correctly for
inform)
opposed; acting against
affect verb meaning to influence, to change;
to assume
effect - noun outcome or result; verb - to
complete, accomplish
all right two words; (no such word as "alright")
-
already
all ready the whole --prepared
-
W
S
previously; by this time; before
anyone
any person, indiscriminately
any one - any single thing or person
apposite - suitable
opposite
contrary
appraise - to set a value on
apprise
G
- to inform
assay - to test
essay - to attempt
essay - a treatise
76.
calendar
calender
manufacture of paper, cloth, etc.
G
Ag
capital a seat of government of a state or
country; money invested; foremost; a form
of letter
capitol - government building
confidant
confident
agende
complement
compliment
record (of time); almanac
finishing machine used in the
M
-
C
k
council an assembly
counsel
an attorney; advice
consul - a foreign representative
that which completes
flattery; praise
credible - believable
creditable - praiseworthy
friend; adviser
sure; positive
decent proper; right; suitable
descent - going down; coming down
dissent difference of opinion; disagreement
deduce - to infer
deduct
to subtract
deductive – reasoning from general to particular
inductive – reasoning from particular to general
defer- to put off
differ to disagree
deposition a formal written statement
disposition - temper
San
deprecate - to disapprove
depreciate to lessen in supposed value
device (noun) a plan; a contrivance; a design
devise (verb) to plan
disapprove to withhold approval
disprove - to prove the falsity of
disburse - to pay out
disperse - to scatter
disinterested - unselfish
uninterested lacking in interest
disorganized - thrown into disorder
unorganized - not yet organized
77.
divers
several
diverse unlike
envelop to cover or enfold
envelope - a covering for a letter
everyone all persons, together
every one each, without exception
spank
explicit - clear and easily understood
implicit unquestioning
farther - in space
further - in thought; moreover
german near kin
germane - relevant
-
henceforth
hereafter after this time
maybe
may be
ingenious
ingenuous
S
-
-
Va
from this time forward
Quan
skillfully contrived; inventive
candid; open
an adverb meaning "perhaps"
a verb expressing possibility of being
practicable - workable
practical - useful
therefor – to that end; for it
therefore for that reason
78.
Rewrite the following passage in simple and comprehensible English.
The accomplishment of assigned agency mission and functions is
frequently retarded by the inability of agency personnel to annunciate
their mental concepts in a manner that is comprehensible to their
intended readers. Official publications emanating from all levels
are replete with examples of writing which does not achieve the
maximum consequences for which they were initially projected.
The coverage of the Report Writing Workshop was designed in such
a way so as to provide the individual student with a sense of
awareness in respect to the inadequacies and/or deficiencies
in his own written reports. It is envisaged that your workshop
leader will review your written exercises and suggest whatever
remedial measures he deems applicable. In the final analysis,
however, real improvement is possible only through the efforts
expended by you. While it is believed that no single dissertation
on the problem could be considered ample to rectify a situation
existing in such magnitude, in Government gobbledygook, this
exercise was designed in the belief that a student will take
cognizance of existing conditions and orient his thinking and
endeavors toward more understandable written reports.
་
As regards this particular exercise, it probably does not bear
an exact similitude to an identifiable situation with which the
student might be confronted in his job assignment. Instead, it is
79.
a magnification of a style employed by far too many Government
personnel in which they utilize protracted words in lieu of
abbreviatory expressions, and make use of perhaps five and
six locutions whereas a single one would contain an appropriate
sufficiency.
It is the sincere desire of your workshop leader that each
student be constantly alert to the possibilities of making his
written reports lucid and unequivocable.
Intelligible writing
of reports can become habitual with each student if he applies.
his energies with industriousness and resolution.
80.
THE SENTENCE
SAY ONE THING AT A TIME
An Air Force officer who incident to a permanent
change of station from Clark Air Force Base
(Philippines) to Wright-Patterson Air Force Base
(Ohio) travels under orders with his dependents
by Government air to other than the scheduled
port of embarkation in Europe for travel on a
space available basis, then by circuitous route
to the embarkation point, delaying departure
from an east coast debarkation port to locate
luggage and traveling to California to pick up
possessions stored with family before reporting
to his new duty station, is only entitled to per
diem incident to the air travel to port of de-
barkation plus mileage to his new station--the
per diem and total cost not to exceed the cost
of normal route travel--and to a travel allowance
for dependents from port of debarkation to the
new station, also limited to normal route costs,
notwithstanding the travel as performed and
nonuse of Government storage facilities may have
resulted in savings to the Government.
Polanyi, the Hungarian mathematician, said, "The first rule of style
is to have something to say. The second rule of style is to control
yourself when, by chance, you have two things to say; say first one,
then the other, not both at the same time."
81.
1. After comments are received, the planning schedule dates will be
revised by the project manager.
2.
A semi-automated reporting and information system for aids to
navigation has been developed by a working group.
3.
USE ACTIVE VERBS
4.
6.
It is recommended by this office that the exchange of equipment
not be implemented until the first year's supplies are received
by Office Services.
The draft of the enclosed specifications for shortcut beef tongues
for export has been prepared by this office. A copy is enclosed for
your comments. A few minor changes have been made since it was
reviewed by us a few weeks ago. This draft is also being sent to
other interested industry members. Our completion date for this
project has been set for March 7. Your comments should be submitted
to us before then.
5.
A thorough analysis has been made of this proposal by personnel
of the Office of the Chief of Naval Manpower.
When a loss of stamps is incurred by an employee, action should be
taken by the Division Chief to effect integration and coordination
of the account.
82.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
Enforcement of the regulations is accomplished by the executive
officer.
The recommendation was made by us that the computation and crediting
of interest be performed by the Finance Officer at the end of each
fiscal year.
The examination of financial transactions was made by the new
committee, even though no meeting was held by the retiring board.
The processing of the retirement records is performed more efficiently
by the Management Officer.
Perhaps refinancing of the notes can be effected by the committee
under the new regulations.
A search has been begun by every Federal agency for ways to improve
its service to the public.
83.
THE WRITER OF REVIEWS
An important part in easing the information crisis is played by
scholarly reviews, articles, and critical bibliographies. The
special needs of both the established workers in a field and the
graduate student entering the field, as well as the general needs
of the nonspecialist are served by them. Large bodies of results
must be recast, critically analyzed, synthesized, and illuminated
by review writers. The relation of the review writer to the
existing but widely scattered bits of information is resembled
by the relation of the theorist to available pieces of experimental
information. In order to emphasize the growing importance of the
reviewer and also the growing difficulties faced by him, his work
should be rewarded by scientific and technical societies with good
pay and with the regard that has been reserved for the discoverer of
experimental information. Those asked to write reviews should be
selected by the scientific societies with the same care as are
recipients of honors or of appointments to the staff of a university.
84.
1.
2.
3.
KEEP RELATED WORDS TOGETHER
Your cooperation in promoting the accurate inspection
and the orderly marketing of grain by loading grain
to a uniform quality, by giving notice of nonuniform
loadings to inspection departments, and by notifying
us promptly of grading differences will be appreciated.
By changing certain portions of the specifications, an
electric light can be made available.
Based upon a recent study, personally conducted here
by Mr. Jenkins, Realty and Space Management Division,
and his subsequent telephone conversation with Mr. Rice,
Regional Office, New York, I am turning to you for
professional assistance.
85.
4.
As a result of a recent visit by personnel of this
office to headquarters, the U. S. Aviation Flight
Information Office has been requested to put on the
distribution list for the Airman's Information Manual
your radio frequency manager.
5. Your memorandum of January 8 in which you request a
county by county summary of expenditures and a
breakdown of personnel responsible for the adminis-
tration of programs in Azusa, Corona, Fair Oaks, and
Herndon counties has been received by this office.
6.
-
Upon looking into your request, information was not
found specifically concerning "the effect of poverty
on business."
86.
7.
8.
We would like to have you submit, using the manpower
estimates in our old 10-year program as a guide to
the number of professionals to be housed, your best
estimate of financing needed to construct research
facilities at your Station during the next five
years.
To obtain the sort of information indicated in the
recommendation, it would seem that a proper study
guide is necessary.
9. Exercising its statutory initiative, tariffs have been
published establishing various excursion fares by
Airlift Airlines.
87.
10.
With your memorandum of February 4 you transmitted,
pursuant to Circular Letter No. 8-60 and the Opinion
and Order of the Secretary, dated January 28, 1968,
a copy of the agreement and requested, on behalf of
Ware Line Inc., and Trans American Lines Company,
signatories hereto, that it be reviewed.
88.
1
1. Necessary action has been taken by this office to transfer the
circuits and to effect the requested listing change in the FTS
Users Guide.
2.
4.
USE REAL SUBJECTS AND ACTION VERBS
3. Because of the particular factors which gave rise to the veteran's
disappearance, consideration should be given to all the information
available.
5.
Scheduling for the assumption of maintenance responsibility for
the systems installed at Dulles International Airport during
Phase III of the program has been made for your branch to begin
January 13, 1968.
7.
The decision to transfer the pension examinations to St. Cloud
was made by the hospital administrator.
Facilitation of the initiation of our commodity management program
and provision for its future expansion will be effected by our
proposed reorganization.
6. Installation of the required access lines was effected.
The appropriation of the sum of $19, 473, 000 was made by Congress
for acquisition of lands for the Oak Bluffs National Seashore.
89.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
In the future the implementation of the Integrated Logistics
System must be realized for the achievement of material readiness
and cost effectiveness.
Before declaring the applicant ineligible for medical benefits,
investigation of all possible avenues of eligibility was held.
Consideration of your request has been given, but improvements in
maintenance must be made before agreement can be realized on the
contract.
After a conference between the Office of Business Development and
the Labor Industry Council, general agreement was reached that
the proposed boundary adjustment is necessary.
It is the policy of our Bureau that negotiations for all property
acquisitions be accomplished by personnel from our office.
1
I
1
.90.
1.
نه
STRIVE FOR ECONOMY
This proposal, which we recently revised, is now being evaluated
at the present time.
A consolidation of telephone services which is economical cannot
be accomplished at Beltsville, because monthly charges for
mileage and for transmission equipment which is required are
excessive.
3. Mr. Butler, who is the coordinator of the project, asked me to
include the report which is attached and which we recently
published which shows total estimates of population for
metropolitan counties.
6.
4. Jobs in the field of lithography are of a technical nature;
therefore, our work in lithography is done outside of the
building on a contractual basis.
5. Your request for a ninety-day extension of time cannot be
granted at the present time.
In view of the fact that the consignee has already submitted
a check in the amount of $300, please make shipment in as
relatively a short time as possible.
91.
LINKING IDEAS TOGETHER
COORDINATE CONNECTIVES join words, phrases, clauses of equal grammatical rank
IDEA
and, but,
Linking word with word
or,
Linking phrase with phrase
nor,
The Chairman and his secretary are in the meeting.
The steno or the typist will finish that.
Linking clause with clause
for
Neither the execution nor the administration of these contracts
is authorized.
IDEA
To draft an effective report or to sketch an illustration, one
must use imagination.
Either the claimant never received the inquiry or he failed
to answer it.
The meeting was at 3 o'clock; however, I did not attend.
1
1

1
1
1
92.
1
TYING EQUAL IDEAS TOGETHER WITH CONNECTIVES
a)
b)
c)
To show close relationship:
xx and xxxx
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXX, and xxxx
and xxxxxXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXX, for xxxxx
XXXXXXXXXXxxxxx, but xxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXX XXXXXXX, nor xxxxxx
XXXXXXX xxxxxxx, yet xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXX.
XX
XXXXX
To emphasize individual clauses (period):
XXXXXXX) XXXXXX.
XXX.
XXXX
XXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.
XXXX
XX
XXXX
XX
To emphasize individual clauses (semicolon):
XX
XXX
XXX.
XXXXXXXX
XXXXXX.
Xxxxxxx XXXXXXXXXXXXX
But xxxxx XXX
And xxxxxXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.
Xxx, however, xxxxxx xxxx.
Moreover, XXXX
XXX.
XXX.
XXXX
XXXX
XXX XX XXXXX; xxxxxxx
xx; however, xxxxx
XXXXXXXXXXxxxxx;
xxx; therefore, XXXXXXXXXXXxxxx.
xxx; nevertheless, xxx
xxxxxx; on the other hand, xxxxxxx.
XXX.
XXXXXXXX 。
XXX XXX.
xxxx.
•
93.
SUBORDINATE CONNECTIVES join elements of unequal rank and help to
show the relationship between these elements.
MAIN IDEA
who
which
as

that
because
whoever
since
although
whatever
provided
while
if
SUBORDINATE IDEA
Although my boss is constantly under pressure, he never loses
his temper.
I wanted to attend the class because I knew the exchange of
ideas would be helpful.
The man who called for an appointment has arrived.
94.
AND
Please tell us if our assumption is incorrect, and a further
adjustment of your Medicare payment will be made.
The Chairman and the Commissioner have been called to a meeting,
and our Director will be here all afternoon.
AS
LINKING PROBLEMS
As the Director was called to the meeting, he assigned the project
to his assistant.
SINCE
Since the committee released its findings, there have been
several policy changes.
WHILE
The Director welcomed the guests while I distributed the materials.
95.
Place ideas which deserve emphasis in main clauses. Place minor ideas
in subordinate constructions.
SUBORDINATION AND COORDINATION
1.
I have just received a report from the Department of State. It is
about Marylin Hale. She is the minor child of a deceased veteran.
His name was Mr. Richard Hale. Marylin is being properly cared for
by her mother. Marylin is in excellent health.
2.
حبا
The service area will include the entire county. It is a considerably
large area. The area is rural. Some low-income residents live some
considerable distance from the facility. In these cases, the people
may be provided with bus transportation. Some may have car pools.
We are concerned about the problem of livestock losses. These losses
are especially heavy in the Black Hills and other national forests.
These losses are serious. Field personnel have not been able to con-
firm the extent of the losses. Coyote numbers have been increasing
generally over the western States. We are trying to hold livestock
losses to a minimum.
1
T
1
96.
1
We
4.
We have a problem with our Industrial Frequency Radio system.
request your help. We received our license for KGP 586. Our trans-
mitter was complete. We did not go on the air until some 30 days
later. We received the authorization from your department.
5.
Test V-4 is a numerical ability test. It is composed of simple compu-
tations in addition, subtraction, multiplication, and short division.
The time limit is five minutes. This is not so much a test of speed
as of ability. The computations are simple. The test items require
skills learned in early school years. They are not extremely diffi-
cult.
6. Your application says that you will not accept an appointment except
in Chicago, Illinois. There is much less opportunity for employment
there than in Washington. The number of office personnel is fewer.
We would suggest you write Mr. Leonard B. Young for an appointment.
He is the Regional Director in Chicago. His office address is
610 South Canal Street. Mr. Young has a copy of this letter. He
will be expecting to hear from you.
97.
-
7. Copies of the Atlantic City Radio Regulations, 1947, are out of print.
They are no longer available for public distribution. A copy is avail-
able for public inspection in the Commissioner's Washington, D. C.
office. A publication may be available for public reading in one of
the local libraries in your area.
8.
9.
10.
The press release was circulated throughout the agency. It stated that
Mr. James Ward would be the new Director of the Public Service Bureau.
A special course on the art of dictation for executives is being planned.
It will be taught by Miss Euphemia King. It will be given in the fall.
The procedure is a detailed account of how the necessary operations
are to be performed. The procedure acquaints offices with the
various ways of getting information.
98.
T
→
2.
༣༠
4.
5.
USE PARALLEL CONSTRUCTION
The Denton Housing Authority has full responsibility for
maintaining its project, and it is fully responsible for
selection of tenants and it can terminate tenants, also.
Your duties would consist of assisting senior attorneys
with investigative matters, preparation for trial, and you
would lend assistance with the trial of Restraint of Trade
matters, and also, participating in investigative procedures
and consent order negotiations where required.
This training data should include information on how much
government and industry participate, cost, what the courses
are, the length of courses, what allowances there are for
housing, also for clothing, and the extent of participation
by labor.
Because of the increase in the responsibility coupled with
the necessity to have readily available information in
various meetings, and for senior staff officers to be generally
aware of our operations in Taipang, it is hereby requested that
the Bureau of Transport Management be put on distribution for
all "Limited Distribution" cables.
We feel the kiosk is necessary to provide a place from which
information can be obtained by the public as well as being a
scheduled stop for the proposed minibus.
99.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
We have been requested to arrange a schedule of meetings with the
appropriate Headquarters staff for discussions on the management
and administration of nuclear research facilities and discussions
will also be included on the processing of spent fuel.
Since the commercial carrier was responsible for all phases of
its movement, the transportation officer who arranged for the
shipment will investigate the circumstances causing the delay,
and appropriate action will be taken by him.
Good writing should be direct, without ambiguous words, and
economical expressions should be used.
The film method is preferred to the fluoroscopic method because
of the provision of greater detail, somewhat better contrast is
obtained, and because it enables one to have a permanent record
of the inspection.
It is understood that compliance exceptions outlined in the
staff's original letter to the company were previously agreed to.
In addition: (1) The company agreed to correct their method
of computing interest; (2) more timely studies of interest
related to multi-unit plants would be made.
Also the company
will justify the cost of power used on all future construction
work orders.
100.
2.
FOG INDEX FORMULA
from
To find the Fog Index of any communication, follow these three simple steps:
1. Use a passage containing at least 100 words. Count the number
of words in a group of sentences. Then divide the total number
of words by the number of sentences. This gives the average
sentence length of the passage.
3.
TECHNIQUE OF CLEAR WRITING
by Robert Gunning
Count the number of words of 3 syllables or more. Don't
count words that are: (a) capitalized, (b) combinations of
short words (such as "bookkeeper" and "butterfly"), (c) verb
forms made into three syllables by adding -ed or -es (like
"created" or "trespasses"). Divide the number of polysyllabic
words by the total number of words. This gives you the per-
centage of hard words in the passage.
-
Total the two factors just counted and multiply by 0.4. This
gives you the Fog Index.
Let us apply this yardstick to a few sentences from THE SUMMING UP by
W. Somerset Maugham:
"I have never had much patience with writers who claim from the
reader an effort to UNDERSTAND their meaning. You have only to
go to the great PHILOSOPHERS to see that it is POSSIBLE to
express with LUCIDITY the most subtle REFLECTIONS. You may find
it DIFFICULT to UNDERSTAND the thought of Hume, and if you have
no PHILOSOPHICAL training its IMPLICATIONS will doubtless escape
you; but no one with any EDUCATION at all can fail to UNDERSTAND
EXACTLY what the meaning of each sentence is. Few people have
written English with more grace than Berkeley. There are two
sorts of OBSCURITY you will find in writers. One is due to
NEGLIGENCE and the other to. WILFULNESS."
The number of words in the sentences of this passage is as follows: 20-23-
11-13-20-10-11-10. (Note that the third sentence is actually three complete
thoughts linked by a comma, in one instance, and a semicolon in the other.
These should be counted as separate sentences.) The total number of words
in the passage is 118. This figure divided by 8 (the number of sentences)
gives the average sentence length 14.7 words.
The words of three syllables or more are capitalized in the above passage.
There are 15 of them, or 12.7% (15 divided by 118). Adding the average
sentence length and the percentage of polysyllable words gives 27.4. And
this multiplied by .4 results in the Fog Index of 10.9.
Use this yardstick often as a quick check to see if your writing is in
step with other writing that has proved easy to read and understand. If
101.
your copy tests 13 or more, you are beyond the danger line of reading
difficulty. You are writing on the college level of complexity and your
reader is likely to find it heavy going even though he is paying close
attention. Copy with a Fog Index of 13 or more runs the danger of being
ignored or misunderstood.
Use this yardstick as a guide after you have written, but not as a pattern
before you write. Good writing must be alive; don't kill it with system.
No one can say for sure what writing will succeed. However, it is clear,
in view of the work of successful writers, that anyone who writes with a
Fog Index of more than 12 is putting his communication under a handicap,
and a needless handicap at that. For almost anything can be written within
the easy-reading range.
Danger Line
Easy-
Reading
Range
Fog Index
17
16
15
14
13
12
11
10
8
7
6
102.
Reading Level by Grade
College graduate
College senior
College junior
College sophomore
College freshman
High-school senior
High-school junior
High-school sophomore
High-school freshman
Eighth grade
Seventh grade
Sixth grade
1
1.
To find the Fog Index of a piece of writing, follow these steps:
Choose a sample of 100 words or more. Samples should be
free from quotes from other writers.
2.
A SIMPLE METHOD OF MEASURING READING EASE
4.
(Based on Robert Gunning's Fog Index Formula)
5.
Divide the number of words in the sample by the number of
This gives you the AVERAGE NUMBER OF WORDS IN
sentences.
A SENTENCE.
EXAMPLE
Number of words in the sample.
Number of sentences...
AVERAGE NUMBER OF WORDS IN A SENTENCE.
3. Divide the number of words of three or more syllables by
the number of words in the sample. This gives you the
PERCENT OF DIFFICULT WORDS.
EXAMPLE
Number of words of three or more syllables..
Number of words in the sample.
PERCENT OF DIFFICULT WORDS..
15
118
12.7
(or 13)
Add the AVERAGE NUMBER OF WORDS IN A SENTENCE to the PERCENT
OF DIFFICULT WORDS.
EXAMPLE
AVERAGE NUMBER OF WORDS IN A SENTENCE.
PERCENT OF DIFFICULT WORDS.
TOTAL...
. 118
8
14.7
(or 15)
EXAMPLE
28 time 0.4 equals a Fog Index of....
Multiply this total by 0.4 to give you the Fog Index of the
sample.
15
13
28
11.2
(or 11)
The general public can easily understand a Fog Index of 12 or less.
less. A
higher Fog Index means you are in danger of being ignored or misunderstood.
The table on the back of this page does most of the figuring for you. A11
you have to do is find the AVERAGE NUMBER OF WORDS IN A SENTENCE in the
left column, and the PERCENT OF DIFFICULT WORDS in the bottom legend.
Where these two rows of figures converge, in the body of the table, you
will find the correct Fog Index.
103.
AVERAGE NUMBER OF WORDS IN A SENTENCE
40 24 23 23
39 23 23
38 23 22
37 22
22
21
36
22
35 22 21
34
21 21
20
20
33 21
20
32 20 20. 20
31 20 20 19
30
20
19 19
19 19 18
29
222
11 12
10
12
19
222
~ 22
22
NOTE:
22
22 22
22
22
22 21
21 21
20
20
20
19
19
18
18
28 19
18
18
18
16
27 18 18 18 17
16
26 18
18 17 17
16 16
25 18 17 17 16 16
16
15
24
17 17 16
16
16
15 15
23
17
16
16
16
15
15 14
22 16 16
16
15
15
14
14
21
16 16
15
14
14
14
20
16
14 14
13
15
15 15 14
15
15 14
19
15
14 14 14 13
13
14
14 13 13
12
18
17
14 14
14
13 13 12
16
14 14
13
13 12 12
15 14 13
13
12 12 12
12
14
13 13
12
13
13
12 11
12 12 12 11 11
12 12 11 11 10
12 11 11 10 10
12 12
11 11 10
18 17
1
FOG INDEX CHART
16
(Based on Robert Gunning's Fog Index Formula)

21 21 20 20
20 19 19 18 18
21
20
20
20
19
19
18
18 18
20
20
20
19
19
18
18
18 17
20
20 19
19
18
18
18
17
17
20
19 19 18
18
17
17
16
19
19
18
18
18
17
16
19
18
18
18
17
16
16
18
18
18
17 17
16
16
18
18
17
1716
16
15
18
17
17
16 16
15
15
17
17
16
16
16
15 14
17
17
16
16 16
15
14 14
16
16
15
14 14
16
15
15
14 13
15
15
14
13
13
15
14
14
13 12
14
14 14
12 12
14
14 13
12
14
13
12
13
13
12 12 11
13
12 12 11 11
12 12 12 11 11 10
12 11 11
11 11 10
13
13
12
12
10
10
12 12
12
12 12
11
11
10
10 10
12 12 11
11 10
10 10 9
10
10
10
12 11 11
11 11 10
11 10
10
10
10
10 9 9
10 10
10 10 9
10 9 9
10 10 9 9 8 8
22 22
22 21
21
21
21
20
20
20
20
20
20
19
19
19
19
18
18
18
18
18
18
17
17
17
17 16
16
32
15
14
14
14
13
13
- ∞ ∞
32
8
10 9 9 8
σ∞ ∞ ∞
18
17
17
16
16
16
15
15
14
14
14
13
13
32
TL
9 8 8
8
8 7
8
9
9 9 8
∞ ∞ ∞
9
✪∞ ∞ ∞
8 8
8
16 College senior
16
15
15
14
14 College
14
13
13
12
12 High-school senior
12
8
College graduate
∞ ∞ ∞
10 High-school
10
College junior
8
sophomore
College freshman
9 High-school
9
8 7
15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5
PERCENT OF DIFFICULT WORDS
High-school junior
8 Eighth grade
sophomore
FOR RANGES NOT COVERED BY THIS TABLE FIND THE FOG INDEX BY
USING THE METHOD ON REVERSE.
freshman
Seventh grade
8 7 7
7 7 6 Sixth grade
7
766
DIFFICULT READING RANGE
EASY READING RANGE
104.
THE PARAGRAPH
THE WRITER OF REVIEWS *
Scholarly reviews, articles, and critical bibliographies play
an important part in easing the information crisis. They serve the
special needs of both the established workers in a field and the
graduate student entering the field, as well as the general needs
of the nonspecialist. Review writers must recast, critically analyze,
synthesize, and illuminate large bodies of results. The relation of
the review writer to the existing but widely scattered bits of knowledge
resembles the relation of the theorist to available pieces of experimental
information. In order to emphasize the growing importance of the
reviewer and also the growing difficulties that he faces, scientific
and technical societies should reward his work with good pay and with
the regard that has been reserved for the discoverer of experimental
information. Scientific societies should select review writers with
the same care as faculties select recipients of honors or of appointments
to the staff of a university.
*Adapted from "Science, Government and Information," Report of the
President's Science Advisory Committee
105.
In report writing, as in other productive
activities, adherence to guiding principles is
GENERALIZATION
essential to effectiveness.
these principles concern
the organization
of the material
In the case of reports,
the arrangement of
it on the page
and the style in
which it is expressed
These principles have become the common practice guides of report writing.
106.
First,
Then,
For example,
But,
So
the new element.
known elements must be transmuted to
PARAGRAPH DEVELOPMENT
Synthetic Elements
techniques.
a tiny amount of the new element becomes
available. This element is invisible,...
unweighable, and undetectable under ordinary
the new element is not stable as are the
elements in the periodic system.
you can see how fascinating but how complex
a synthetic element is.
107.
TRANSITION
GENERALIZATION
DETAILS & EXAMPLES
TRANSITION
DETAILS
DETAILS
TRANSITION
SUMMARY
LEAD THE READER BY THE HAND
To be a good writer you have to start with some understanding
of the chore and with a set of basic principles. The first point
you must understand is this: to be even a passably good writer,
you have to sweat and labor long and hard, doggedly and desperately,
and you have to know and feel that your writing is worth the sweat.
The second point is that you have to learn to become your
reader. There's no way out of it. If you are to make contact
with your reader, if your words are to get through to him, you
have to be able to think like he thinks, feel like he feels,
react like he reacts, anticipate like he anticipates, and
question like he questions. The person who most often comes
between the writer and his reader is the writer himself. Too
often the writer, being unable or unwilling to imagine-up a real
person to write to, writes to himself to please himself.
A third point to keep in mind is that you must write in a
style that is appropriate, that is custom-cut to fit the subject
matter and the reader. If your writing is to get through to
your reader, you have to adjust your style without writing down
to people under you, or writing up to people over you.
can teach style to any man, since style is the man, the particular
way he alone puts words together to carry ideas. But we can point
out three principles that are necessary to all writing.
(From Gobbledygook Has Gotta Go by John O'Hayre)
No one
1
108.
TRANSITIONAL WORDS AND PHRASES
From the green depths of the offshore Atlantic many paths lead
back to the coast. They are paths () followed by fish; although
unseen and intangible, they are linked with the outflow of waters from
the coastal rivers. For thousands upon thousands of years () the
salmon () have known and followed these threads of fresh water that
lead them back to the rivers, each returning to the tributary in
which it spent the first months or years of life. So, () in the summer
and fall of 1953, ( ) the salmon () of the river called Miramichi on
the coast of New Brunswick moved in from their feeding grounds in the
far Atlantic and ascended their native river. In () the upper
reaches of the Miramichi, in the streams that gather together a network
of shadowed brooks, the salmon ( ) deposited their eggs that autumn
in beds of gravel over which the stream water flowed swift and cold.
Such places, () the watersheds of the great coniferous forest of spruce
and balsam, of hemlock and pine, provide the kind of spawning grounds
that salmon must have in order to survive.
From Rachel Carson's Silent Spring (Houghton Mifflin, Boston, 1962), p. 129.
109.
THE PRINCIPLES OF CLEAR WRITING
Keep Sentence Short.
For easy reading, sentences should vary in
structure and length but on the average, should be short.
Prefer the Simple to the Complex. Many complex terms are unnecessary.
When there is a simpler way of saying a thing, use it.
Avoid complex sentences.
Develop Your Vocabulary. Don't let preference for short words limit
your vocabulary. Intelligence and vocabulary size are closely
linked; you need long words to think with.
Avoid Unneeded Words. Nothing weakens writing so much as extra words.
Be critical of your own writing and make every word carry
its weight.
Put Action Into Your Verbs. The heaviness of much business writing
results from overworking the passive verbs. Prose can usually
be kept impersonal and remain in the active tenses.
Use Terms Your Reader Can Picture. Abstract terms make writing dull and
foggy. Choose short, concrete words that the reader can visualize.
Tie In With Your Reader's Experience. The reader will not get your
new idea unless you link it with some old idea he already
has.
Write the Way You Talk. Well, anyway, as much that way as you can.
A conversational tone is one of the best avenues to good
writing. Avoid stuffy business jargon. In letters, use
"we" and "you" freely.
Make Full Use of Variety. Use as many different arrangements of
words and sentences as you can think up, but be sure your
meaning is clear.
Write to Express, Not To Impress.
Not To Impress.
Present your ideas simply and
directly. The writer who makes the best impression is the
one who can express complex ideas simply. "Big men use
little words; little men use big words."
110.
APPENDIX
Checklist for Revising the Rough Draft
The Distilled Product
Rx For Review
Supplementary Materials
Case Studies
How To Brief a Report or Article
Spelling
Punctuation
111.
THE APPENDIX CONTAINS SUPPLEMENTARY
INFORMATION WHICH SUPPORTS THE BODY
OF THE REPORT....
(APPENDIX)
1
It is advisable to revise the rough draft by carrying out three separate
readings with a different objective in mind each time.
Read through for INFORMATION
1.
Repetition?
2.
Gaps or missing material?
A.
B.
C.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
4.
Have you allowed a biased attitude to creep into your report
through the use of opinionated adjectives?
Read through for ORGANIZATION
1.
Does the structure of the report suit reader requirements?
Are paragraphs in logical order?
2.
3. Does each paragraph contribute to the general structure of the
4.
5.
6.
CHECKLIST FOR REVISING THE ROUGH DRAFT
5.
6. Have you inadvertently shifted your point of view?
Read through for STYLE
1. Is language level suited to reader?
2.
3.
Extraneous material?
Do the body and terminal sections keep the promises made to
the reader in the introduction?
7.
Should some of the material go into the appendix?
Would additional illustrations reduce the text content or
provide for clearer understanding?
Did you say what you meant to say? Or, did you depend upon
your own experiences--or the reader's--to fill in the gaps?
Have you checked computations, quotations, citations, cross-
references, formulas, dates, equations?
10.
report?
Does each paragraph completely develop its topic?
Have you used transitional devices?
Eliminate gobbledygook, jargon.
Examine sentence and paragraph length.
8.
9. Most frequent grammatical errors
Check variety in sentence construction.
Have you missed opportunites for parallel construction?
Is your grammar correct?
Have you used any abstract words that can be replaced with
concrete words?
Do active verbs predominate?
a. Disagreement between subject and verb
b.
Faulty pronoun references
Incomplete sentences
Improper use of subordinating conjunctions
Check for punctuation and spelling.
c.
d.
113.
Mark
A
له
\/
>
G
под
IO
REVISION MARKS
Meaning
Add element
Delete letter
or punctuation
Delete word (s)
Retain crossed
out words
Reverse letters
Move to place
indicated
Change to
letter shown
Start new
paragraph
Don't start new
paragraph
Change to
lower case
Change to
upper case
Separate words
Example
the
in final stages
the valve which control
opening
the valves which controls
opening. There are several
steps in the
in several many instances
there are
amenna housings
shuold
the accounts are
different seen
horisons
The last account should
be used to charge over-
head expenses in stat-
ics projects. Direct
labor costs are ac-
counted separately as
provided in the basic
policy.
No P
ways to
There are four ways to
seat the participants.
-
is in framingham,
massachusetts
The first is in
schoolroom style. The
second is in groups
the four plants are in
thebest procedure
hasbeen
SU
114.
THE DISTILLED PRODUCT
WRITING INVENTORY
115.
THE MEANING OF MEANINGS
Unnecessary abstractions
Showy language
Inappropriate jargon
SHOWS CLEAR UNDERSTANDING OF HOW LANGUAGE WORKS
THE ETERNAL TRIANGLE
Underestimates reader
Assumes too much knowledge on reader's part
Approach too specialized
Purpose not clear
Subject not clear
Insufficient thought given to desired reader response
Off-pitch tone
Negative
Bureaucratic
Obsequious
Mechanical noise
SHOWS CLEAR UNDERSTANDING OF COMMUNICATION PROCESS AND WRITER'S
ROLE AS A COMMUNICATOR
116.
1
SEARCH AND RESEARCH
Too much made of assignment
Too little made of assignment
Failure to limit subject
Poor use of available sources of data
Superficial research leading to overlooking of data
Use of illogical or emotional appeals
Too few facts to draw conclusions
Failure to come to obvious conclusions
Conclusions unsupported by facts presented
SHOWS EVIDENCE OF THOROUGH SEARCH AND RESEARCH
STRUCTURE AND STRATEGY
Failure to select appropriate format
Main ideas difficult to identify
Irrelevant information included
Failure to group ideas logically
Too many undigested details
Poor use of illustrative material
a)
Not appropriate for data presented
b) Not tied to text
c) Should be placed in appendix
d) Fails to give clear picture
SHOWS EVIDENCE OF CAREFUL PLANNING AND ORGANIZATION TO ACHIEVE
DESIRED READER RESPONSE
117.
į
DYNAMICS OF DEVELOPMENT
Failure to emphasize main ideas
Failure to show relationship between ideas
Weak transitions between sentences
Weak transitions between paragraphs
Failure to develop logical progression of ideas
Lack of topic sentences
Poor paragraph development
Overuse of passive voice
Failure to keep related words together
Use of perplexing pronouns
Failure to use real subjects and action verbs
Lack of economy
SHOWS EVIDENCE OF CAREFUL DEVELOPMENT TO ACHIEVE DESIRED READER RESPONSE
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS ON STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES
118.
Excerpt from "What Ever Happened to the Subjunctive?" by Kermit Rolland.
For Writers
Don't try to read your boss's
mind on questions of policy,
procedure or the objective of
the piece you are writing.
If
you aren't sure, ask.
Your boss probably isn't as well-
informed on current, accepted
usage as you are. So be a little
conservative in your choice of
words.
-
Don't use your writing assignment
as a chance to show off how much
you know about a subject. You'll
exhaust your reader long before
you exhaust your subject.
Stick to the point. Ask, "How
much do my readers need to know
in order to be adequately informed."
Limit yourself to this amount.
Be yourself. Any effort to sound
like an engineer, a comptroller, or
a telephone company is fore-doomed
to failure. You'll just end up
sounding pretentious, pompous or
confusing.
Write simply. Prefer one idea per
sentence; never use more than two in
a technical paper.
Be willing to accept criticism.
"Pride of authorship" is the pre-
rogative of amateurs. Remember,
you are a professional.
Your boss probably has certain fixed
ideas about the "right way" to say
things. Be patient with him.
For Managers
Don't expect your people to read
your mind.
After all, it is your
responsibility to make policies,
procedures and objectives clear and
known.
Your writers probably aren't as well-
informed on current, accepted usage
as you are. So be a little liberal
toward their choice of words.
Don't make changes in a piece of
writing as a way of proving to your
people that you outrank them. Re-
member the management principle of
"good enough." It applies to writing
as well as to any other phase of the
business.
Encourage your writers to stick to
the point. Brevity isn't necessarily
a virtue. But conciseness is.
Don't expect your writers to imitate
the way you write. Even the President
of the United States doesn't expect
this.
Encourage simplicity. Prefer one idea
per sentence; discourage more than two.
People are sensitive to criticism, even
though they may not show it.
If you
change someone else's writing, do so on
the basis of known and accepted policy
and procedure and be sure to explain
why you made the change.
Your writers have certain fixed ideas
about the "right way" to say things.
Be patient with them.
119.
FOR THE REVIEWER
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
1.
PRACTICAL DO'S AND DON'TS
It's your
Don't expect your people to read your mind.
job to make policies, procedures, and objectives clear
5.
and known.
Do discuss the communication with the writer before he
FOR THE WRITER
writes it. Plan it together.
Don't make changes for the sake of change.
change with a reason.
Whenever possible, suggest changes to writer and let him do
the revising.
Do give feedback on what's good as well as what's poor.
Do realize that no one is going to be able to choose exactly
the same words that you would choose. Be liberal toward
your writer's choice.
Back up your
Before writing, talk over the project with your reviewer.
Don't try to read his mind. If you aren't sure, ask.
2. Proofread before turning your communication out.
3. Don't sulk about changes. Talk them over with the man who
made them. Try to understand his point of view.
4. Be willing to accept criticism. Pride of authorship is the
prerogative of amateurs. Remember, you are a professional.
Be grateful for the times your reviewer helped to improve
the writing. (After all, isn't good, clear writing what both
of you want?)
120.
1
GEN
Combine these ideas into an informal report for the Assistant Secretary.
1.
2.
3.
4.
SUPPLEMENTARY MATERIALS
5.
6. You went last week.
7.
You went on Wednesday.
8. You went on business.
9.
10.
You went to inspect the Santa Maria field office.
The Santa Maria office is located between Los Angeles and Santa
Barbara.
11. It is located at 110 Hanover Street.
12.
It was raining in Santa Maria.
13.
It had been raining for eight days.
14.
15.
16.
17.
23.
24.
25.
26.
27.
Your division chief gave you an assignment.
He wrote it in a memo to you.
The memo was dated January 15, 1969.
He wanted you to inspect the Santa Maria field office.
You went to Santa Maria.
28.
18.
19.
20. His name is Carl A. Peters.
21.
He was formerly employed at the Interior Department.
22.
You and Peters have a mutual interest in the Federal Employees
Association.
29.
30.
31.
The area was menaced by mud slides.
Much damage had been incurred.
It was pleasant when you left Washington.
You flew from Dulles Airport nonstop to Los Angeles.
You took another flight from Los Angeles to Santa Maria.
You met the Director of the field office.
He was appointed a month ago.
Peters talked about his budget.
He talked about it at a meeting with his staff.
You attended that meeting.
He said that he hasn't enough money for the service to the public
program.
The importance of the service to the public program has been stressed
by the Secretary.
Peters has been cooperative and diligent in past assignments.
This is an exceptional case.
Peters should get extra funds.
32.
Extra funds are available.
33. Peters should have them.
121.
BOND DEDUCTION
An audit of the records of those employees of this company who have
authorized payroll deductions for U.S. Savings Bonds indicates that the
account in which these funds are held at the First National Bank - the
account R. J. Wright, plant cashier is in balance with the individual
account cards of the employees' deductions. But there has been, in
effect, a mishandling of the funds which represents what might be con-
sidered "collusion" between Mr. R. W. Smith, the plant manager, and the
cashier, though both Mr. Smith and Mr. Wright say that they do not think
they have done anything they should be blamed for. Smith has authorized
payroll deductions for savings bonds since July 1, 1950, at which time
Miss Platt told me it was decided by this company to undertake a concen-
trated buy-savings-bonds campaign for the purpose of getting all of our
employees to sign up for the payroll deduction plan for bonds. Upon
examination of Mr. Smith's deduction card it was indicated that deductions
from Smith's pay check have continued to be made since that time but
Mr. Smith has not purchased any bonds. By the way, Smith is on a semi-
monthly payroll from the main office, wheras all of the other employees
who have deductions taken out of their pay checks are on a weekly
payroll that is made up here at the plant. As you know, the total of
all of the deductions on every payroll is forwarded to the cashier every
payday in order to be deposited by him in this account. It then becomes
the duty of the cashier to purchase a bond for any individual employee
whenever the individual accounts indicate that an employee has a
sufficient purchase price for one. The plan is now being taken advantage
of by nearly 1,000 employees 997, to be exact
very successful plan.
so it has been a
I
-
As was mentioned in the above paragraph, however, Smith has never
purchased any bonds. The semi-monthly payroll is written very early in the
payroll period and as soon as this payroll is written the bond deductions
which are listed on it are posted to every individual employee's account.
Therefore, very early in the month in each payroll period, Smith's bond-
deduction card has been credited with his regular $100 deduction. Upon
investigation of his individual deduction card it was ascertained that
Smith has consistently requested of the cashier that the latter grant him
a "refund" of this $100 before the actual date of the payday for that period.
This means that every time the cashier did this there was not really any
money in the bank for this particular deduction and therefore Smith, the
Plant Manager, was actually obtaining advances in every single payroll
period. The cashier, of course, was able to accede to this request due to
the presence in the 1st National Bank of the unused balance in all of the
other employees' accounts.
Feeling that this situation is not very excellent, it has been brought
to the attention of the plant manager and also to the attention of the
cashier. Mr. Wright, the cashier, says that he does not think that he has
done anything that he should be blamed for in that he was only acting
pursuant to the instructions to give Mr. Smith the refund that he has
regularly received.
Mr. Smith says that he does not feel that there have
been any violations of any of the company's rules and/or policies, and
for this reason I have apprised him that I would include it in my audit
-
122.
report. As additional complication of the situation there is the fact
that the records indicate that Mr. J. J. Blake, the assistant plant
manager, who, like all supervisors, is also paid semi-monthly, while he has
not done this same procedure as frequently as the plant manager, on
or two occasions in the past several months, when for some reason or
another he has been financially embarrassed, has in effect likewise
given himself a payroll advance through the same means. There is not
much doubt in my mind that you will agree that the actions of the above-
named personnel in this matter are not within the intended results that
were desired to be achieved by the "Buy U.S. Savings Bonds" campaign,
and that there is a big loophole here by which it is possible for
additional supervisors who might be so minded to perhaps also take
advantage of this policy and make use of payroll funds in this manner,
with the result that they could also acquire a certain portion of their
salary in advance of the day that they should really get it.
123.
THE CASE OF MISS SUCCESS' SUCCESSOR
A few days ago your boss asked you to help him decide on a
replacement for his secretary, Miss Success, who is retiring.
After carefully screening Form 171's and reviewing your own
interview notes, you must rank the 3 applicants which Personnel
has sent.
Here's what you know about the applicants.
Miss Donna Pierce
Age 24; single; 2 year's experience as clerk-steno; 1 year's
experience as secretary. Flashy dresser; attractive. High school
graduate; 1 year of college, but then dropped out. Good references.
Typing speed: 70 w.p.m.; shorthand speed: 105 w.p.m. Seems a little
flippant, but enthusiastic and ambitious. Says she plans to go to night
school. Engaged to be married, but wants to continue working after
she marries.
Mrs. Eva Gardner
Age 42; divorced; supports 2 children. Very attractive and
well-groomed. High school graduate; 15 years' experience as secretary.
Excellent references, although one commented, "She's efficient all
right, but kind of bossy. Every now and then she's a little hard
to get along with." Typing: 75 w.p.m.; shorthand: 108. No marriage
plans. Very eager to get the job.
Miss Theda Wendt
Age 27; single. Neat, plain, appears rather reserved. In interview
asked few questions, but responded well to all questions asked of her.
High school graduate; 2 years of college; major: Business Administration.
Six years' experience, last 2 years in General Counsel's Office. Good
references; one mentioned her "shyness." Typing: 80 w.p.m.; shorthand:
120 w.p.m.
No marriage plans. Seems very interested in the job.
124.
The purpose of this report is to acquaint you with information
relative to the so-called College Work-Study Program, said program
authorized by title VI-E of the Economic Opportunity Act since you
have expressed the possibility of an interest in participating in
Agencies interested in utilizing college students in
the year to come would be well advised to make their interest known
to participating colleges as soon as possible in view of the fact that
it has been specified that colleges will be required to submit their
applications for funds for 1970-71 by September 5, 1969.
this program.
The provision of experience in a work situation of a worthwhile
character for college students from low income families for whom jobs
are necessary to continue their course of study is the principal
objective of this program. It is expected that many students will be
employed by the colleges themselves, but encouragement of the colleges
toward the placement of their students in off-campus jobs with a private
nonprofit organization or a public agency, a category in which the in-
clusion of Federal agencies falls, is given. Participating colleges
should be informed of the desire of the Federal agency to support the
Provision of opportunities of a very meaningful nature and
the offering of very invaluable learning experiences are possible for
the student by the Federal agency.
The operation of this program is implemented through grants made
to institutions of higher learning. It is authorized by title VI-E of
the Economic Opportunity Act. In the initial beginning administration
of the program was vested in the Urban Education Commission and under
program.
125.
the Higher Education Act of 1967 full administrative responsibility
is in its Office of Training and Education.
colleges and the O.T.E. will administer, the program are stated in
certain agreements made between them. Mostly the operation of all
programs are essentially along the same lines generally, with the
colleges responsible, within certain specified established guide-
lines, for the selection of the students for employment, jobs are
assigned to them, pay rates are settled by them, payroll processing,
and other matters arising in the day-to-day operation of the program.
Although students can work up to 15 hours a week during the time that
he or she is attending classes, they may not work more than 15 hours
a week, although when classes are not in session or while attending
remedial classes or while attending classes which are not credit
courses, they may work full-time, this same stipulation may also be
applied to vacation times.
A question may arise relative to compensation coverage for
injuries, however, such questions and/or claims will be considered
upon an individual case basis. If agencies are interested in the
program described herein, information of a further nature may be
obtained from colleges which are participating in this program or
from the Director of the College Work-Study Program, Office of Training
and Education, Washington, D. C. 49503. If interested, it should be
kept in mind what the spirit and objective of the program is. Individuals
who are assigned are students for whom the different colleges are seeking
meaningful work experiences, not just to employ these students. Due to
the fact of them being in college, the students have been subjected to a
Conditions under which
126.
number of procedures which are selective already. Thus, it can be
said that although their actual work experience may be rather limited,
their learning ability and personal motivation are liable to be high.
Moreover, particularly in the case of upper classmen, the students
may be well along in terms of professional training.
Students which are selected by the college for employment under
the program must be enrolled as full-time students and must need the
earnings to remain in school. A student may also be considered if he
is in a position of being accepted for enrollment (with earnings
necessary to continue in school). Students must be capable of main-
taining good standing in school while employed by an agency. Also they must
be citizens of and/or owe allegiance to the United States. It might be
brought to your attention that there is a priority for students from low
income families, however, any college student who finds financial assistance
to be a necessity in pursuing a course of studies is eligible for this
program.
In view of the fact that many of these students, though they may have
had little or no actual work experience, have high ability to learn, it is
advisable that care must be taken to insure that the duties which are
assigned are commensurate with the abilities of the students.
important to point out that benefits can be significant to not only the
students taking part but also to their host agencies.
CGD47953, attachment 5, with date of November 14, 1967, says that
agencies may pay colleges certain "unreimbursed administrative cost."
Such cost would be in addition to the portion of compensation which is not
provided by Urban Education Commission. In accordance with the act, the
It is
127.
Urban Education Commission's share of a students' compensation cannot
exceed 75 percent. Prior to January 1, 1969 this share was 90 percent.
If not prohibited by some other statute, his host agency is generally
responsible for paying the remainder, unless as has happened in some
cases, the college itself may pay the portion of compensation which is
not provided by the Urban Education Commission.
In some cases injuries to enrollees serving in Federal agencies may
come under provisions of the Federal Employees Compensation Act, however
each case has to be decided on individually. Irregardless, a student in
an off-campus assignment in a Federal agency for the purposes of law as
administered by the Public Service Institute is not a Federal employee.
However the situation is different for purposes of the Federal Tort Claims
Act as pointed out where under this Act title VI-E enrollees are en-
compassed by the definition of employees of the Government.
In typical payment situations an agency pays its share of compensation
to the college so that this makes it possible for said student to receive
a single check. Matters of this nature can be mutually agreed upon
between the host agency and the college, along with such things as what
assignments students will be given, hours of work, and what is the relation-
ship between the college and the agency.
Under arrangements made between an agency and a college, a students'
work, which must be work for which the agency's appropriations are available,
either is related to his educational objective, or will be in the public
interest and is work which could not otherwise be provided, will not result
in the displacement of employed workers or impair existing contracts for
services, and will be governed by such conditions of employment as will be
128.
B
-
appropriate and reasonable in light of such factors as the type of work
performed, geographical region, and proficiency of the employee.
129.
HOW TO BRIEF A REPORT OR ARTICLE
EXECUTIVES CANNOT TAKE THE TIME TO READ PAGE AFTER PAGE OF MATERIAL; THEY
APPRECIATE ACCURATE SUMMARIES THAT ARE PHRASED IN CLEAR AND READABLE FORM.
YOU MAY BE ASKED TO PREPARE SUCH A SUMMARY OR BRIEF. IF SO, THE FOLLOWING
SUGGESTIONS WILL HELP. THESE SUGGESTIONS WILL ALSO HELP YOU BRIEF MATERIALS
FOR YOUR OWN USE.
SEVEN STEPS TO EXPEDITE A BRIEF
1.
Read the entire report to determine the scope and the point of
view. If the material is difficult, study it until you are sure of the
main ideas.
2. Underline important sentences or phrases in each paragraph.
The underlined material should tell what the paragraph is about. Avoid
asides and extras, but retain all major thoughts.
3. Write the underlined sentences or phrases in the order in which
they appear. As far as possible, keep the author's emphasis and his orig-
inal plan of organization. (In a resume, abstract, or paraphrase, you
summarize in your own words and therefore often change the order.
In a
brief, you follow the author's order of presentation.)
4. Condense by eliminating unessential words and phrases, by sub-
stituting one sentence to do the work of two or three, by discarding
illustrations and anecdotes, and by making generalizations to cover such
data as statistics.
5.
Put the author's material in your own words--if this helps the
condensation. Use easy words and simple sentence structure.
Don't put
too many ideas into too tight a package. A style that is too clipped
makes for hard reading. Make your sentences complete, and don't leave
out the verbs.
6.
Show relationship of ideas by transitions. Tie the material
together so that the reader can progress easily from one idea to the
next. A series of short, unrelated statements makes stumbling reading.
7. Judge the length of your summary by the needs of the user. You
may have to write and rewrite in order to satisfy him and still show the
author's intent.
EXAMPLE OF BRIEFING AN ARTICLE
The example that follows illustrates three of the phases of briefing
an article: (1) under ine key sentences; (2) combine underlined sentences;
and (3) prepare finished summary.
Here are three hints to make the process easier and more effective:
}
Read the entire article, letter, or report before starting to under-
line sentences. Get the whole picture first; and think to yourself:
"What do we need from this material? What interests us? What do we
want to know?"
130.
If you have a yeoman or secretary, let him (or her) type the under-
lined sentences. (This is a mechanical job you can delegate.)
Don't be afraid to smooth out and reword the summary. Make sure to
include what your superior needs to know, but do not slant your words
so that the article obviously says something different from what the
author intended.
The accompanying article is from the Naval Training Bulletin (Winter 1957,
p. 30). Examining it, you see that it appears to be written with several
purposes in mind: to report a conference, to show how careful were the
preparations, to indicate the importance of the event, to prove that the
personnel involved were competent and representative of the Navy, and to
promise that appropriate results would be forthcoming.
You or your superiors may not be equally interested in all these points.
A commander who has many aviation personnel attached to his command will
be more interested in the article than a surface or submarine officer.
Suppose, however, the surface or submarine force commander is notified
that he is to send representatives to a similar conference about deck
and gunnery ratings. He will want to know the mechanics of the conference
procedures in order to ensure that his command makes the right moves.
1. The article, with key phrases underlined, is presented in its
entirety.
2. Now you pull the underlined key parts together by having them
typed--using periods to show deletions.
During October a conference was held. .for the purpose of
reviewing Group IX Aviation ratings.
Representatives were present from 14 commands in addition
to the Bureau of Naval Personnel and the U.S. Naval Examining
Center.
The mission.
was fivefold:
(1) To establish validity of the quals requirements for
aviation ratings;
(2) To evaluate. . .bibliography.
(3)
(4)
S
To review. . .NavPers Training Courses.
To evaluate the rating requirements. . .for use in
development of advancement examinations.
(5)
To provide coordination.
.the most qualified senior petty officers available in
their rating fields were assembled. . .There was one panel
for each of the 14 Group IX ratings. Each panel consisted of
senior petty officers from the Naval Examining Center, the
Navy Training Publications Center, the Naval Air Technical
Training Command, and the Fleet.
Prior to the conference, each participating activity.
convened local conferences. . .This procedure insured that
conferees would be well informed. . .and better prepared to
discuss. .recommendations at the general. . .conference.
Rating panel advisory groups composed of selected officers
and civilians assisted the rating panels. .evaluated the
rating panels' proposals. . .and advised them as to adherence
to guidelines.
131.
The reviewing committee. . .including the officer and civilian
representatives from all participating commands. . .to provide
guidance to the panels, to review submitted recommendations for
proper composition. . .The reviewing committee did not approve
or disapprove the rating panel recommendations. . . they served
as advisors and counselors.
. .crux of the conference centered on the Manual of Quali-
fications for Advancement in Rating (NavPers 18068).
Questions which the panelists asked. . .were: Does the scope
of the rating adequately describe the field in which the rate
operates? Should anything be added or deleted? Should wording
be changed? Should the qualifications be divided. . .or com-
bined. . .? Is the pay grade appropriate? Are the qualifications
assigned to the proper series. . .?
·
The...Conference is expected to provide recommendations
which will result in general improvement of the aviation ratings
.New requirements. . .were recommended.
were recommended. . .Deletion of areas
.which deal with outmoded equipment or procedures was recom-
-
mended.
The conference also provided a means of associating the
rating requirements to the jobs actually performed. . .its
recommendations should add validity to advancement examinations
and should help ensure that these examinations select the most
qualified personnel for advancement.
D
3. Now, you smooth the excerpts into a neat summary that tells the
average officer what he needs to know about the conference and that signals
to the specialist that an article is available on the subject of aviation
ratings, advancement qualifications and examinations, and rating conferences.
Your finished summary might appear as follows. (NOTE: Don't work only from
your excerpts; refer to the original article to make sure your smoothing fits
the contents and the tone of the original.)
"Brief of Aviation Quals and Training Conference," Naval Training
Bulletin, Winter 1957, p. 30.
In October 1957 Navywide representation was provided at a
conference that reviewed Group IX Aviation ratings.
The con-
ference sought to--
1.
Establish validity of aviation quals.
Evaluate bibliographies.
2.
3. Review NavPers Training Courses.
4.
Evaluate requirements used in development of examin-
ations.
5.
Provide coordination of all pertinent efforts.
The conference used three levels of panels or groups. A
panel of qualified petty officers was established for each of
the 14 aviation ratings. These panels were backstopped, guided,
and helped by rating panel advisory groups and by a reviewing
committee; the advisory groups and the committee consisted of
officer and civilian representatives.
Crux of conference was the Manual of Qualifications for
Advancement in Rating, NavPers 18068. The committees analyzed
the ratings to see whether they adequately describe the work of
-
132.
the rates. They checked the wording, appropriateness of pay
grades, and correctness of the qualifications.
The conference developed recommendations which, when approved
and implemented, should result in general improvement in the
aviation ratings, inclusion of new requirements, deletion of out-
moded ones, and better relating of rating requirements to job
actually performed. The recommendations should also add validity
of advancement examinations and help ensure that the examinations
select the best qualified men for advancement.
SUMMARY
The ability to prepare concise, clear, and accurate briefs is a
valuable skill.
To brief a report or article, take the following steps:
Read the entire report for scope and point of view.
2. Underline important sections; copy them on a sheet of
paper.
3. Smooth the excerpts into a condensed, readable brief.
1.
(Adapted from Writing Guide for Naval Officers)
133.
HOW TO BRIEF A REPORT OR ARTICLE
AVIATION QUALS AND TRAINING CONFERENCE
During October a conference was held under the sponsorship of the Chief of
Naval Personnel at the U.S. Naval Examining Center, Great Lakes, Illinois,
for the purpose of reviewing Group IX Aviation ratings. Captain E. D'H. Haskins,
USN, Commanding Officer of the U.S. Naval Examining Center, acted as host and
coordinator for the conference.
Representatives were present from 14 commands in addition to the Bureau
of Naval Personnel and the U.S. Naval Examining Center. The Chief of Naval
Air Technical Training sent panelists from Jacksonville, Glynco, Philadelphia,
Olathe, Lakehurst, Pensacola and Memphis. A contingent of 14 panelists
came from the Navy Training Publications Center at Memphis. The Commander,
Naval Air Force, U.S. Pacific Fleet sent 15 personnel from 12 different
commands. Officer representatives from CNO, CINCPACFLT, CINCLANTFLT BUAER,
the Chief of Naval Air Reserve (NAS, Glenview), and the Naval Air Material
Center (Philadelphia) provided experience and authority to the conference.
>
The mission of the Aviation Ratings Conference was fivefold:
(1) To establish validity of the qualifications requirements for the
aviation ratings;
(2) To evaluate the adequacy of the listed bibliography as to coverage
of the rating requirements;
(3) To review the applicable NavPers Training Courses for general
coverage of the rating requirements;
(4) To evaluate the rating requirements as to areas of relative im-
portance for use in the development of advancement examinations; and
(5) To provide coordination of effort between activities primarily
concerned with the implementation and execution of the advancement in rating
program.
To accomplish the mission, the most qualified senior petty officers
available in their respective rating fields were assembled to exchange views
and to compile certain recommendations for the Chief of Naval Personnel.
Those personnel primarily concerned with a particular rating were assigned
to the rating panel which discussed that rating. There was one panel for
each of the 14 Group IX aviation ratings. Each panel consisted of senior
petty officers from the Naval Examining Center, the Navy Training Publications
Center, the Naval Air Technical Training Command, and the Fleet.
Prior to the scheduled conference, each participating activity received
the presently applicable rating qualifications arranged into a special format
to facilitate review and evaluation. These commands convened local conferences
to permit maximum local participation which would provide the diversity of
view and technical completeness desired for preconference orientation. This
procedure insured that conferees would be well informed as to the require-
ments of the rating which each represented and better prepared to discuss
in detail all of the local conference recommendations at the general qualifi-
cations conference.
Rating panel advisory groups composed of selected officers and civilians
assisted the rating panels in the composition of new and the revision of old
qualification requirements. These panel advisors evaluated the rating panels'
proposals in rough form prior to presentation to the reviewing committee
and advised them as to adherence to establish guide lines.
The reviewing committee was composed of conferees other than those employed
by the rating panels, including the officer and civilian representatives from
134.
all participating commands. The committee's primary duties were to provide
guidance to the panels, to review submitted recommendations for proper com-
position, and to advise the panels as to the strength of the justifications
for their recommendations. The reviewing committee did not approve or dis-
approve the rating panel recommendations. Rather, they served as advisors
and counselors with the view of developing sound recommendations which would
assist in the formulation of valid qualifications requirements for the
Group IX ratings.
While changes and corrections to bibliography sources and training
manuals were actively considered, the real crux of the conference centered
on the Manual of Qualifications for Advancement in Rating (NavPers 18068).
The "Quals Manual" is the basis upon which advancement examinations, the
Navy Training Courses, and the bibliography for advancement are developed,
so attention was focused in this area. Questions which the panelists asked
themselves concerning these qualifications were: Does the scope of the
rating adequately describe the field in which the rate operates? Should
anything be added or deleted? Should wording be changed? Should the quali-
fications be divided into two or more parts or combined with some other
qualifications? Is the pay grade appropriate? Are the qualifications assigned
to the proper series, i.e., the 100 Practical Factors series or the 200
Examination Subject series?
The Aviation Ratings Qualifications Conference is expected to provide
recommendations which will result in general improvement of the aviation
ratings. It evaluated the existing rating requirements to establish their
applicability. New requirements, both in the practical factor and examination
subject areas, were recommended which represent technical advances and changes
in operating procedures. Deletion of areas of the rating qualification which
deal with outmoded equipment or procedures was recommended.
The conference also provided a means of closely associating the rating
requirements to the jobs actually performed by personnel in the field and to
on-the-job training programs. It recommended a suitable rating bibliography
that is available to all personnel and one which is expected to encourage
all candidates to study for advancement in rating. Finally, its recommendations
should add validity to advancement examinations and should help insure that
these examinations select the most qualified personnel for advancement.
135.
2. PREFERRED SPELLING
1. GENERAL
The Government Printing Office recognizes Webster's New International Dictionary as the guide to
spelling. To achieve further standardization, the Government Printing Office lists in the Style Manual
the preferred forms of many of the words that are spelled more than one way in Webster's.
This chapter carries a short list of preferred forms, selected from those in the Style Manual. Also it
gives instructions on the formation of plurals, the doubling of final consonants when suffixes are added,
and the use of indefinite articles. Methods of forming possessives are covered in chapter 4, paragraph 2,
of this part.
abridgment
acknowledgment
The spelling of geographic names should conform to the decisions of the U.S. Board on Geographic.
Names. In the absence of a decision by the Board, the U.S. Directory of Post Offices is used for names in the
United States and its possessions.
adapter
adjuster
adviser
aging
aline
anesthetic
appall
ascendance
aye
barreled, barreling
beveled, beveling
biased
blond
boulder
brier
buses
caliber
canceled, canceling,
cancellation
catalog
channeled, channeling
cigarette
coconut
combated, combating
connector
consignor
converter
CHAPTER 2
SPELLING
conveyor
councilor
counseled, counselor,
counseling
United States Government Correspondence Manual
defense
descendant
development
diagramed, diagraming
dialed, dialing
dike
disk
draft
drought
employee.
enclose
enclosure
favor
flier
entrust
equaled, equaling
esthetic
exhibitor
focused, focusing
forbade
fulfill
fuse
gasoline
goodby
graveled, graveling
gray
intern
jeweled, jeweler, jeweling
judgment
kerosene
kidnaped, kidnaper,
kidnaping
labeled, labeling
leveled, leveler, leveling
libeled, libeler, libeling
license
likable
maneuver
marshaled, marshaling
marvelous
medieval
meter
modeled, modeling
mold
monolog
movable
Part II
nonplused
offense
penciled, penciling
percent
plow
practice
programed, programer,
programing
reconnaissance
referable
signaled, signaling
skillful
stenciled, stenciling
subpena
sulfur
theater
totaled, totaling
traveled, traveler,
traveling
visa, visaed
vitamin
willful
woolen
woolly
worshiped, worshiper,
worshiping
136.
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1. GENERAL
United States Government Correspondence Manual
Part II
CHAPTER 4
PUNCTUATION
Punctuation marks are to the reader what road signs are to the driver. They make it easier to read and
understand what someone has written. There are rules, but there are also many exceptions. Some punctua-
tion marks may be substituted for others, without changing the meaning of a sentence or without making
it less clear. Good sentences usually need few punctuation marks. The Government Printing Office Style Manual
treats punctuation in detail.
2. APOSTROPHE
a. Use the apostrophe:
(1) To indicate contractions or omitted letters.
I've it's (it is) TV'ers
(2) To indicate the coined plurals of letters, figures, and symbols.
three R's
5's and 7's
+'s
(3) To show possession. Add 's when the noun does not end with an s sound. Add only the apostrophe
to a noun that ends with an s sound.
officer's
hostess'
Mars'
Co.'s
Cos.' Jones' Joneses' Schmitz'
(a) To show possession in compound nouns, add the apostrophe or 's to the final word.
brother-in-law's
secretary-treasurer's
(b) To show joint possession in nouns in a series, add the apostrophe or 's to the last noun.
soldiers and sailors' home
(c) To show separate possession in nouns in a series, add the apostrophe or 's to each noun.
John's, Thomas', and Henry's ratings
(d) To show possession in indefinite pronouns, add the apostrophe or 's to the last component of
the pronoun.
someone's desk somebody else's books
b. Do not use the apostrophe:
(1) To form the possessive of personal pronouns.
theirs
hers
its
others' homes
yours
(2) To form the plural of spelled-out numbers, of words referred to as words, and of words already
containing an apostrophe. Add 's, however, if it makes the plural easier to read.
yeses and noes
do's and don'ts
which's and that's
twos and threes ifs, ands, and buts
(3) To follow names of countries and other organized bodies ending in s, or after words more descrip-
tive than possessive (not indicating personal possession), except when the plural does not end in s.
merchants exchange
children's hospital
United States control
United Nations meeting
137.
Part II
3. BRACKETS
a. Use brackets in pairs:
(1) To enclose a correction.
He arrived at 13 [12] o'clock.
(2) To supply something omitted.
Mr. Adams [arrived] late.
(3) To explain or to identify.
The president pro tem [Arnold] spoke briefly.
(4) To instruct or to add comment.
The report is as follows [read first paragraph]:
(5) To enclose sic when it is used to show that an error in a quotation has been recognized but not changed.
It's [sic] counterpart is missing.
b. Use a single bracket:
At the beginning of each paragraph but only at the close of the last paragraph, when extensive material
is enclosed.
4. COLON
Use the colon:
a. To separate an introductory statement from explanatory or summarizing material that follows.
The board consists of three officials: Chairman, vice chairman, and recorder-secretary.
Give up conveniences; do not demand special privileges; do not stop work: these are necessary while we are at
war.
b. To introduce formal statements, questions, or quotations.
The committee stated the principle thus: In our foreign relations, people instead of governments are our first
concern..
The following question came up for discussion: What policy should be adopted?
He said: [If the quotation is not more than one sentence, use a comma instead of a colon.]
c. To follow a formal salutation.
Dear Mr. Franklin:
Ladies and Gentlemen:
d. To separate the hour and the minutes in clock time.
8:15 a.m.
11:59 p.m.
e. To follow introductory headings which lead directly to subentries.
Policy:
General:
Salaries
Responsibilities
1:2::3:6
Specific:
f. To separate parts of citations. (Leave a space after the colon.)
Luke 4: 3
Journal of Education 3: 342-359
g. To indicate proportion. (Use double colon as ratio sign.)
To Whom It May Concern:
5. COMMA
a. Use the comma:
(1) To separate words or figures that might otherwise be misunderstood or misread.
Instead of hundreds, thousands came.
To John, Smith was very helpful.
Out of each 20, 10 are rejected.
What the difficulty is, is not known.
1
138.
Part II
(2) To set off introductory or explanatory words that precede, break, or follow a short direct quotation.
The comma is not needed if a question mark or an exclamation point is already part of the quoted matter.
I said, "Don't you understand the question?”
"I understand it," she replied, "but I disagree with the answer."
"Why?" he said.
"It's unreasonable!" she exclaimed.
(3) To indicate the omission of an understood word or words.
Then he was enthusiastic; now, indifferent.
(4) To separate a series of modifiers of equal rank.
It is a young, eager, and intelligent group.
but He is a clever young man. (No comma when the final modifier is considered part of the noun modified.)
(5) To follow each of the members within a series of three or more, when the last two members are joined
by and, or, or nor.
horses, mules, and cattle
by the bolt, by the yard, or in remnants
(6) To separate an introductory phrase from the subject it modifies.
Beset by the enemy, they retreated.
(7) Before and after Jr., Sr., academic degrees, and names of States preceded by names of cities, within
a sentence.
Henry Smith, Jr., Chairman
Smith, Henry, Sr.
(8) To set off parenthetic words, phrases, or clauses.
The atom bomb, developed by the Manhattan project, was first used in World War II.
The situation in the Middle East, he reported, might erupt.
neither snow, rain, nor heat
by five, 10, or 20
but The person who started that fire is undoubtedly an arsonist. (No comma necessary, since the clause "who
started that fire" is essential to identify the person.)
(9) To set off words or phrases in apposition or in contrast.
Mr. Jay, attorney for the plaintiff, asked for a delay.
(11) To set off a noun or phrase in direct address.
Mr. President, the motion has carried.
You will need work, not words.
(10) To separate the clauses of a compound sentence if they are joined by a simple conjunction such
as or, nor, and, or but.
The United States will not be an aggressor, nor will it tolerate aggression by other countries.
Washington, D.C., schools
Chief, Insurance Branch
(12) To separate the title of an official and the name of his organization, in the absence of the words of
or of the.
Chairman, Committee on Appropriations
(13) To separate thousands, millions, etc., in numbers of four or more digits.
4,230
50,491
1,000,000
(15) To separate a city and state.
Cleveland, Ohio
(14) To set off the year when it follows the day of the month in a specific date within a sentence.
The reported dates of September 11, 1943, to June 12, 1955, were erroneous.
Washington, D.C.
139.
Part II
b. Do not use the comma:
(1) To separate the month and year in a date.
On 5 July 1956 we dedicated the arsenal. (Military form of date.)
Production for June 1955
(2) To separate units of numbers in built-up fractions, decimals, page numbers, serial numbers (except
patent numbers), telephone numbers, and street addresses.
1/2500
1.9047
Motor No. 189463
Metropolitan 9–3201
1727-1731 Broad Street
page 2632
1450 kilocycles, 1100 meters (no comma unless more than four digits, radio only)
(3) To precede an ampersand (&) or a dash.
Greene, Wilson & Co. (except in indexes: Jones, A. H., & Sons)
There are other factors--time, cost, and transportation--but quality is the most important.
(4) To separate two nouns one of which identifies the other.
The booklet "Infant Care"
(5) To separate the name and the number of an organization.
Western Legion Post No. 12
6. DASH
Use the dash (two hyphens and no spaces):
a. To mark a sudden break or abrupt change in thought.
He said--and no one contradicted him--"The battle is lost."
If the bill should pass--which Heaven forbid!--the service will be wrecked.
Wilson's boat The Maria
b. To indicate an interruption or an unfinished word or sentence.
He said, "Give me lib- -"
c. To serve instead of commas or parentheses, if the meaning is clarified by the dash.
These are shore deposits- -gravel, sand, and clay- -but marine sediments underlie them.
d. To introduce a final clause that summarizes a series of ideas. (See also paragraph 4a, preceding, for use
of the colon.)
Q. Did you see- -? A. No, sir.
Freedom of speech, freedom of worship, freedom from want, freedom from fear- these are the fundamentals of
moral world order.
I recommend- -
e. To follow an introductory phrase leading into two or more successive lines and indicating repetition of
that phrase.
That we accept the rules
That we publish them
g. To precede a credit line or signature.
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.
f. To serve instead of a colon when a question mark closes the preceding idea.
How can you explain this?- -"Fee paid, $5.”
--Longfellow
This statement is open to question.- -Gerald H. Forsythe
140.
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7. EXCLAMATION POINT
Use the exclamation point to mark surprise, incredulity, admiration, appeal, or other strong emotion,
which may be expressed even in a declarative or interrogative sentence.
How beautiful!
"Great!" he exclaimed.
8. HYPHEN
Use the hyphen:
a. To connect the elements of certain compound words. (See also chapter 3, this part, preceding.)
mother-in-law
ex-governor
walkie-talkie
quasi-academic
b. To indicate continuation of a word divided at the end of a line. (See also chapter 7, following.)
c. To separate the letters of a word which is spelled out for emphasis.
d-o-l-l-a-r-s
self-control
H-bomb
Mr. Kelley (to the chairman).
Q. (Continuing.)
A. (Reads:)
The result (see figure 2) is most surprising.
9. PARENTHESES
a. Use parentheses:
(1) To set off matter not part of the main statement or not a grammatical element of the sentence, yet
important enough to be included.
Who shouted, "All aboard!" (Question mark omitted)
O Lord, save Thy people!
Part II
(2) To enclose a parenthetic clause where the interruption is too great to be indicated by commas.
You can find it neither in French dictionaries (at any rate, not in Littré) nor in English dictionaries.
(3) To enclose an explanatory word that is not part of the statement.
The Erie (Pa.) Ledger; but the Ledger of Erie, Pa.
(4) To enclose letters or numbers designating items in a series, either at the beginning of paragraphs or
within a paragraph.
You will observe that the sword is (1) old fashioned, (2) still sharp, and (3) unusually light for its size.
(5) To enclose a reference at the end of a sentence. Unless the reference is a complete sentence, place the
period after the parenthesis closing the reference. If the sentence contains more than one parenthetic
reference, the parenthesis closing the reference at the end of the sentence is placed before the period.
The specimen exhibits both phases (pl. 14, A, B).
The individual cavities show great variation. (See pl. 4.)
This sandstone (see pl. 6) occurs in every county of the State (see pl. 1).
He works for Johnson & Sons, Inc.
Do not be late.
b. Use a single parenthesis:
At the beginning of each paragraph but only at the close of the last paragraph, when extensive material
is enclosed.
10. PERIOD
Use the period:
a. To end a declarative sentence that is not exclamatory, and to end an imperative sentence.
b. To end an indirect question or a question intended as a suggestion and not requiring an answer.
Tell me how the rocket was launched.
May we hear from you soon.
141.
Part II
c. To indicate omission within a sentence, use three periods with spaces between; at the end of a sentence,
four. Use spaced periods on a separate line to show omission of one or more paragraphs.
He called . . . and left . .
He returned the next day.
d. To follow abbreviations unless by usage the period is omitted.
gal. NE.
qt.
N.Y.
but HEW
USDA
NOTE: In abbreviations made up of single letters, no space is allowed between the period and the following
letter, except that one space is allowed after the periods following the initials in a proper name.
11. QUESTION MARK
Use the question mark:
a. To indicate a direct query, even if not in the form of a question.
Did he do it?
He did what?
b. To express more than one query in the same sentence.
Can he do it? or you? or anyone?
c. To express doubt.
He said the boy was 8(?) feet tall.
12. QUOTATION MARKS
a. Use quotation marks:
(1) To enclose a direct quotation. Single quotation marks are used to enclose a quotation within a
quotation.
The answer is "No."
"Your order has been received," they wrote.
He said, "John said 'No.' "
Can the money be raised? is the question.
Who asked, "Why?" (Note single question mark.)
(2) To enclose any matter following the terms entitled, the word, the term, marked, endorsed, or signed. Do not
use them to enclose expressions following the terms known as, called, so-called, etc., unless such expres-
sions are misnomers or slang.
"John," said Henry, "why do you go?”
"The equipment will be forwarded promptly."
39
Congress passed the act entitled "An act
It was signed "John."
After the word "treaty," insert a comma.
The so-called investigating body.
(3) To enclose misnomers, slang expressions, nicknames, or ordinary words used in an arbitrary way.
b. Limit quotation marks:
Limit quotation marks, if possible, to three sets (double, single, double).
"The President," he said, "will veto the bill.”
The trainman shouted, "All aboard!”
Is this what we call a "Correspondex"?
"The question is, in effect, 'Can a person who obtains his certificate of naturalization by fraud be considered a
"bona fide” citizen of the United States?” ”
c. Place punctuation inside or outside quotation marks, as follows:
Always type the comma and the final period inside the quotation marks. Other punctuation marks are
placed inside only if they are a part of the quoted matter.
"Have you an application form?”
Who asked, “Why?”
Why call it a "gentlemen's agreement"?
142.
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13. SEMICOLON
Use the semicolon:
a. To separate independent clauses not joined by a conjunction, or joined by a conjunctive adverb such
as hence, therefore, however, moreover, etc.
Part II
The report is not ready today; it may be completed by Friday.
The allotment has been transferred to the Production Division; hence, construction of the partitions must
be delayed.
b. To separate two or more phrases or clauses with internal punctuation.
Robert M. Roman, chairman of the union, will travel in most of southern Europe; in all of the Near East; and,
in case there is time, along the northern, western, and southern coasts of Africa.
If you want your writing to be worthwhile, give it unity; if you want it to be easy to read, give it coherence;
and, if you want it to be interesting, give it emphasis.
c. To separate statements that are too closely related in meaning to be written as separate sentences.
No; we receive one-third.
War is destructive; peace, constructive.
d. To precede words or abbreviations which introduce a summary or explanation of what has gone
before in the sentence.
A writer should adopt a definite arrangement of material; for example, arrangement by time sequence, by order
of importance, or by subject classification.
The industry is related to groups that produce finished goods; i.e., electrical machinery and transportation
equipment.
143.
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