TAVE NECIO By By JAVERNSSO ANECDOTES அ BANDS 3770 CF LES HIPLEY โอ WINDERERS CHATTO & WINDUS BRARY ARTES 1817 VERITAS LIBRARY SCIENTIA OF THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN PLUATOUS UNDE TIEBOR SI-QUÆRIS-PENINSULAM·AMCENAM CIRCUMSPICE IE 11. TAVERN ANECDOTES AND SAYINGS. GT 3770 W52 1881 ( Crown 8vo., cloth extra, 3s. 6d. each. THE WANDERER'S LIBRARY. Merrie England in the Olden Time. By GEORGE DANIEL. With Illustrations by Robert Cruikshank. The Old Showmen and the Old London Fairs. THOMAS FROST. By The Wilds of London. By JAMES GREENWOOD. Tavern Anecdotes and Sayings; including the Origin of Signs, and Reminiscences connected with Taverns, Coffee Houses, Clubs, etc. By CHARLES HINDLEY. With Illustrations. Circus Life and Circus Celebrities. By THOMAS FROST. The Story of the London Parks. By JACOB LARWOOD. With Illustrations. The Lives of the Conjurors. By THOMAS FROST. The Life and Adventures of a Cheap Jack. By One of Edited by CHARLES HINDley. the Fraternity. Low-Life Deeps. An Account of the Strange Fish to be found there. By JAMES GReenwood. **Other Volumes are in preparation. CHATTO AND WINDUS, PICCADILLY, W. Weil, " TAVERN ANECDOTES AND SAYINGS INCLUDING THE ORIGIN OF SIGNS AND REMINISCENCES CONNECTED WITH TAVERNS, COFFEE- HOUSES, CLUBS, ETC. BY CHARLES HINDLEY CC EDITOR OF THE LIFE AND ADVENTURES OF A CHEAP JACK, A NEW EDITION 27 London CHATTO AND WINDUS, PICCADILLY ISSI Bungay: CLAY AND TAYLOR, PRINTERS. 1 + TO JOHN JAMES BERKSHIRE, MINE HOST OF THE BLACK LION INN, PATCHAM (NEAR BRIGHTON, IN THE COUNTY OF SUSSEX), AS AN OLD AND MUCH ADMIRED FRIEND, AND AS THE WORTHY REPRESENTATIVE OF AN OLD ENGLISH BONIFACE, TAVERN ANECDOTES AND SAYINGS, THE ORIGIN OF SIGNS, ETC., IS MOST RESPECTFULLY Dedicated BY THE EDITOR. Librarian special १ 5203% THE EDITOR'S PREFACE. TAVERN ANECDOTES, including the Origin of Signs, &c., was originally published in 1825, and judging from the scarceness of the work, and from some of the prefatory remarks, we should say that the number of copies printed was not large. The work has ever been a favourite with its present editor, who has been possessed of his own copy for upwards of thirty years. In 1865 he contemplated publishing a new and entirely remodelled edition, and had got some length in the arrangement of the facts, scraps, and conjectures necessary for the pur- pose, when the newspaper press and literary pub- lications of the day announced that Messrs. Larwood and Hotten had just published “A History of Signboards, from the Earliest Times to the Present Day," London, 1866. Consequently, the present editor of TAVERN ANECDOTES laid aside his materials, and there they remained neg- lected and almost forgotten until the present year, when the "Carpenter, Joiner, and Paper-hanger, &c., Jobbing in all its Branches; Orders punctually attended to, and Estimates given free," and whose above trade announcement board may be con- viii EDITOR'S PREFACE. spicuously seen from our little back parlour, unearthed our parcel," Covered all over with dust, sir; quite two inches thick, sir," as our model maid-of-all-work put it. On a re-perusal of our editorial work, we came to the conclusion that there was much of it that might be found both amusing and instructive to another class of readers, who would not require such an elaborate and exhaustive work as that issued by the late enterprising and energetic Piccadilly publisher John Camden Hotten- Requiescat in pace, now that he "is in his grave after life's fitful fever." We therefore deter- mined to publish our olla podrida in its present. form. On revising our budget of 1865 to lay before our constituents of 1875, we found it was necessary to make many alterations and amendments in our original design; and as in the mean while other works of a somewhat kindred character had been published, we have necessarily had to go over the same ground, and have consequently occasionally been compelled to use even some of their very language, and many of their facts and scraps, but we have at all times desired to freely and frankly acknowledge the source of our information, yet not to overload our pages with foot-notes. We therefore take this opportunity and place to say that our thanks are especially due and are hereby given to the proprietors of Larwood and Hotten's EDITOR'S PREFACE. ix "History of Signboards," "History of Clubs and Club Life," Rev. Dr. Brewer's "Dictionary of Phrase and Fable," Burn's "Catalogue of the Beaufoy Collection of London Tradesmen's Tokens," the late Mr. Peter Cunningham's charming Story of Nell Gwyn, and the Sayings of Charles the Second," Punch, Fun, Fudy, &c. " Prefaces to books, says a learned author, "are like SIGNS TO PUBLIC HOUSES!—they are intended to give one an idea of the kind of entertainment to be found within. But whether this very appro- priate quotation be founded in truth or not, we leave to the superior sagacity of those who may take the trouble to peruse the following sheets. In conclusion we would say, in the words of the popular, free-and-easy, and time-honoured toast “May our endeavours to please be crowned with success.” CHARLES HINDLEY. INTRODUCTION. "I'm amused at the signs,. As I pass through the town, To see the odd mixture- A Magpye and Crown; The Whale and the Crow; The Razor and Hen; The Leg and Seven Stars; The Axe and the Bottle; The Tun and the Lute; The Eagle and Child; The Shovel and Boot." British Apollo, 1710. THE absurdities which Tavern Signs present are often curious enough, but may in general be traced to that inveterate propensity which the vulgar of all countries have, to make havoc with everything in the shape of a proper name. What a Magpie could have to do with a Crown, or a Whale with a Crow, or a Hen with a Razor, is as difficult to conjecture as to trace the corruption of language, in which the connexion more pro- bably originated. The sign of the Leg and the Seven Stars was merely an orthographical devia- tion from the League and Seven Stars, or Seven United Provinces; and the Axe and Bottle was xii INTRODUCTION. doubtless a transposition of the Battle-axe, a very appropriate and significant sign in warlike times. The Tun and Lute seem very emblematical of the pleasures arising from the association of Wine and Music. The Eagle and Child had some meaning, but no application; but when we approach the Shovel and Boot, nonsense again triumphs, and we labour in vain to come at any rational definition of the affinity. The Swan with two Necks has long been an object of mystery to the curious; but this mystery has been explained by the alteration of a single letter. The sign was originally written, the Swan with two Nicks; the meaning of which we find to be fully explained in a communication to the Antiquarian Society, by the late Sir Joseph Banks. At a meeting of the Antiquarian Society, held in 1810, Sir Joseph Banks presented a curious roll of parchment, exhibiting the marks of nicks made on the beaks of the swans and cygnets in the rivers and lakes in Lincolnshire; accompanied with an account of the privileges of certain persons for keeping swans in these waters and the duties of the king's swanherd in guarding these fowls against depredators; also for regulating their marks, and for preventing any two persons from adopt- ing the same figures and marks on the bills of their swans. - INTRODUCTION. xiii The number of marks contained in the parch- ment roll amounted to two hundred and nineteen, every one of which was distinct, although confined to the small extent of the bill of the swan. The outline was an oblong square, circular at one end, and contained dots, notches, arrows, or such like figures, in order to constitute a difference in the marks of the swans belonging to different indi- viduals. So late as the 12th of Queen Elizabeth, laws were enacted for the preservation of the swans in Lincolnshire. The sign of the Goat and Com- passes has been supposed to have arisen from the resemblance between the bounding of a goat, and the expansion of a pair of compasses; but this is more fanciful than appropriate. This sign is of the days of the Commonwealth, when it was the fashion of the enthusiasts of that period to append scriptural quotations to the names given them by their parents, or to adopt them entirely instead. This rage for sacred titles in- duced them to coin new names also for places and things. The corruption from "God encompasseth us" to Goat and Compasses, is obvious, and seems quite natural; and it is not unlikely that Praise God Barebones preferred drinking his tankard of ale at the God Encompasseth Us, rather than frequent a house retaining its old and heathenish title. Richard Flecknoe, in his "Enigmatical Charac- ter," published in 1665, speaking of the "fanatic xiv INTRODUCTION. بھی reformers,” observes, "As for the signs, they have pretty well begun their reformation already, chang- ing the sign of the Salutation of the Angel and our Lady into the Soldier and Citizen, and the Katherine Wheel into the Cat and Wheel; so as there only wants their making the Dragon to kill St. George, and the Devil to tweak St. Dunstan by the nose, to make the reformation complete. Such ridiculous work they make of their reformation, and so zealous are they against all mirth and jollity, that they would pluck down the sign of the Cat and Fiddle, too, if it durst but play so loud as they might hear it.” The Bag of Nails at Chelsea is claimed by the smiths and carpenters in its neighbourhood, as a house originally intended for their peculiar accom- modation; but had it not been for the corruption of the times, it still would have belonged to the Bacchanals, who in the days of the rare Ben Jonson were accustomed to make a holiday excursion to that pleasant part of the environs of London. One age has tried to convert Bacchanals into Bag-o'- nails; may not a future age take the liberty of converting the term Bacchanalians into that of Bag-o'-nailians? The very common sign of the Chequers, which we see either on the doorposts or window-shutters of most public-houses, has given rise to much con- jecture and discussion among the learned as to its origin. One writer supposes that they were meant INTRODUCTION. XV to signify that the game of draughts was allowed to be played within; another has been informed, and that by "a high and noble personage," that in the reign of Philip and Mary, the Earl of Arundel of that time had a grant for the licensing of public- houses, and that the chequer-board, being a part of the armorial bearings of that nobleman, this mark was attached to his sign by the publican, in order to show that he possessed a licence. Unfortunately for both of these solutions, and also for the honours of the Howards, the Anti- quarian Society was lately presented by Sir W. Hamilton with a view of a street in Pompeii, in which we find that shops with the sign of the chequers were common among the Romans. The true origin of this emblem, therefore, still remains involved in uncertainty, if not obscurity. The most witty, though assuredly not the most genuine explanation, was that given by the late George Selwyn, who frequently expressed his astonishment how antiquarians could be at any loss to discover why draughts were an appropriate emblem for drinking houses. In the year 1807, an annotator on Beloe's "Anec- dotes of Literature," says, "I remember many years. ago passing through a court in Rosemary Lane, where I observed an ancient sign over the door of an alehouse, which was called the Four Alls. There was the figure of a king, and on a label, 'I rule all;' the figure of a priest, motto, 'I pray for xvi INTRODUCTION. all; a soldier, 'I fight for all;' and a yeoman, 'I pay all.' About two years ago I passed through the same thoroughfare, and looking up for my curious sign, I was amazed to see a painted board occupy its place, with these words inscribed, 'The Four Awls."" In Whitechapel Road there is a public-house which has a written sign, " The Grave Maurice." A painter was commissioned to embody the inscrip- tion; but this knight of the brush was not pos- sessed of a poet's eye, and therefore could not depict the form of things unknown or imaginary. In this dilemma he had recourse to a friend, who had studied more particularly "the signs of the times," who immediately extricated him out of his difficulty, and the painter forthwith delineated, in his best manner, "The Graaf Maurice!" which is frequently mentioned in the Epistola Ho-eliana.- Curiosities for the Ingenious. i [The Original Title Page.] TAVERN ANECDOTES, and REMINISCENCES of THE ORIGIN OF SIGNS, CLUBS, COFFEE-HOUSES, STREETS, CITY COMPANIES, WARDS, &c. INTENDED AS A LOUNGE-BOOK For Londoners and their Country Cousins. BY ONE OF THE OLD SCHOOL. "Whoe'er has travell'd life's dull round, Where'er his various tour has been, May sigh, to think how oft he found His warmest welcome-at an inn. "} SHENSTONE. LONDON: PRINTED FOR WILLIAM COLE, 10, NEWGATE STREET. TAVERN ANECDOTES AND SAYINGS. ABC.-THE ALPHABET, OR THE LETTERS.— This sign seems to have been originally Alpha, Beta; if so, it had a sacred allusion, like many others of Commonwealth origin. There was for- merly a public-house in the neighbourhood of Clare Market called the ABC, where the whole of the letters from great A to little z were painted over the door, as a distinguishing sign. Even at the present day several public-houses are called the LETTERS. A One is the sign of a house in Oxford Street, London; A 1 Tower will be found in the Metropolitan Meat and Poultry Market; Little A was the sign of a tobacconist in Leadenhall street; Grand A is a public-house sign, as is also Grand B, Q in the Corner, and so on to Z, an ancient sign in grocers' shops to intimate that zingiber (ginger) was kept in stock. A BAD CUSTOMER.-" We don't sell spirits," said a law-evading beerseller: "we will give you B ༴ཁགཔ་ 2 TAVERN ANECDOTES a glass; and then if you want a biscuit, we'll sell it to you for three ha'pence." The "good creature" was handed down, a stiff glass swallowed, and the landlord handed his customer a biscuit. "Well, no, I think not," said the customer; "you sell 'em too dear. I can get lots of 'em, five or six for a penny anywhere else." A BAD END.-It was told of Jekyll that one of his friends, a brewer, had been drowned in his own vat. "Ah," he exclaimed, "floating in his own watery bier!" ABERCROMBIE INN, TAVERN, HEAD, ARMS.- These titles have been assumed in honour of the brave and skilful hero General Sir Ralph Aber- crombie, born 1738, defeated the French, and mor- tally wounded at Alexandria, March 21, 1801. An elegant marble monument to perpetuate his fame is erected in St. Paul's Cathedral. At the Aber- crombie Tavern in Lombard Street, a society was formerly held, the members of which entitled themselves the "House of Lords," who met, like many others, for the purposes of harmony and oc- casional debate. The president was styled Lord Chancellor. Admissions cost three shillings each, which was spent in wine and negus. As soon as the treasurer had sufficient funds to pay for a bottle or a bowl, then the "noble lord" in the wooden chair distributed to each of the nobles AND SAYINGS. 3 present a glass, while the toast and song went merrily round. Several thousands were enrolled, among whom were many names of some considera- tion, who relished a bit of humour. ABRAHAM GRAINS.-A brewer or publican. "A BLITHE HEART MAKES A BLOOMING VISAGE."-True; but it wont do to suppose that every blooming visage comes from a jolly condi- tion of the heart. The cause sometimes lies deeper than that-in the cellar. A CALF.-A dandy at an hotel table, who wanted the milk passed to him, thus asked for it: “Please send your cow this way." To whom the landlady retorted as follows: "Waiter, take the cow down to where the calf is bleating." A BROADSHEET HINT.-In the parlour of a public-house in Fleet Street there used to be written over the chimney-piece the following notice:"Gentlemen learning to spell are re- quested to use yesterday's paper." A CANDID WITNESS.-In the examination of an Irish case for assault and ``attery, counsel on cross-examining one of the witnesses asked him what they had at the first place they stopped at, He answered, "Four glasses of whisky." "What next?" "Two glasses of wine." "What next? "One glass of brandy." fight, of course." "What next?" "A B 2 4 TAVERN ANECDOTES ACCOUNTING FOR IT.-In speaking of a friend who possessed a very rubicund countenance, some one said the other day: "I don't think he drinks— in fact, I know he does not, for he told me so; but probably he sleeps in a bed with red curtains!" A CAUTION.-The man who can't resist "just a thimbleful" of brandy will sometimes find the thimble holds enough to sew him up. A COMMERCIAL TRAVELLER one day at a country inn was boasting somewhat extravagantly of the very extensive nature of the transactions in which he had the honour to be concerned. Amongst other proofs of the truth of his representations, he stated to his fellow-travellers that "his house paid upwards of 300l. per annum for the article of writing-ink alone, to be used in their counting- house and other offices!" "Oh!" replies a travel- ler in a different line of business, "that's a mere fleabite to the business done by our house. Do you know," he continued, "that during the last twelve months we have saved in that article alone no less a sum than 2000l. by merely omitting the dots to our 's and the crosses to our t's." A CONFIRMED TIPPLER was puzzled how to honour his birthday. A brilliant idea struck him : he kept sober. A CONUNDRUM.-Why is a badly-conducted hotel like a fiddle? Because it's a vile inn. AND SAYINGS. 5 A CORK SAYING.-You may take your health to the whisky-shop once too often-until it gets broken. ACORN.-This popular sign grows out of the oak- 66 Large streams from little fountains flow, Tall oaks from little acorns grow." A CITY LAWYER is related to have carried in his pocket written cards, as follows:-"Turbot and lobster-sauce, sir, at six; shall be happy in having your company;" which invitation he handed about very liberally to clients, friends, &c. He lived like a prince in the country; the usual amount of his maltster's bill was 700.; and once he malted the produce of twenty acres of barley of his own grow- ing; but the bill was not 10% less for that. ACT OF PARLIAMENT.-A military term for small beer. ADAMS.-A Society of venerable respectable men, who held their meetings at the Swan, Kings- land Road, A.D. 1750, kept by one George Adams The first rule or article was that no young man under seventy years of age shall be admitted as a member, &c. ADAM'S ALE, ADAM'S PAI.E ALE, ADAM'S WINE.-Pure water, thin beer, or watered milk. ADAM'S ARMS, which in heraldry were divided 6 TAVERN ANECDOTES in every way and tinctured of every colour. The shield was in the shape of a spade which was used "When Adam delved and Eve span." It is a sign usually set up by gardeners on entering into the public line, or in the neighbourhood of large market-gardens. "There is no ancient gen- tlemen but gardeners, ditchers, and grave-makers: they hold up Adam's profession. He was the first that ever bore arms, &c.—Hamlet, act v. scene I. The Adam and Eve tea-gardens, the front of which is rendered famous in Hogarth's print, "The March to Finchley," formerly stood at the corner of the Hampstead Road and the New Road to Pad- dington, and were resorted to by thousands of the citizens of London, as the end of a short walk into the country. The grounds were spacious and con- venient, with bowers and arbours for tea-drinking parties, with highly cultivated fruit trees, while the timber trees were allowed to grow and expand naturally, unrestricted by art or fashion, which then were unknown 'to many such places as this, and others in the vicinity of London. At that time, too, there was only one Paddington stage. It was driven by the proprietor, or rather tediously dragged, along the clayey road from Paddington to the City in the morning, and performed its jour- ney in about two hours and a half, "quick time." It returned to Paddington in the evening within AND SAYINGS. three hours from its leaving the City; this was deemed "fair time" considering the necessity for precautions against the accidents of "night travel- ling," ADAM AND EVE.-A very common name and old sign. Our first parents were constant dramatis persona in the medieval mysteries and pageants, on which occasions Hone, in his "Ancient Myste- ries,” informs us that Eve used to come on the stage exactly in the same costume as she appeared to Adam before the Fall. THE ADDISON'S HEAD. ADDISON'S HEAD was set up as a sign at a bookseller's shop in Fleet Street, London, that the Spectator might become a beholder of the Tatler. A DETROIT PAPER accounts for the intempe- rance of a prominent senator by the fact that he was "brought up on the bottle." 8 TAVERN ANECDOTES ADMIRAL.—A sign in compliment to the sea- Others have adopted the names of faring men. some favourite or fortunate admiral, as Blake, Drake, Nelson, &c. A quaint conceit of an old writer on Queen Elizabeth and Sir Francis Drake :- "O Nature! to old England still Continue these mistakes; Still give us for our kings such queens, And for our dux such drakes." ADMIRAL OF THE BLUE was an old popular term for a tapster from the colour of his apron, but now chiefly applied to butchers. Admiral of the Blues, persons afflicted with the blue devils, the depression or want of spirits after a debauch; also policemen. A DROP OF GOOD STUFF.-A lady residing at Greenford, whose penuriousness was proverbial, but who prided herself upon the excellency of her brewery, not only in every description of English wines, but also in the real barleycorn, as she termed it, received a load of furniture from London, and requested the assistance of a labouring man to unload the waggon, which having performed, he was surprised at the old lady's liberality in asking him to take a draught of her best ale. John smacked his lips. "Why, thank'ee, ma'am, I don't care if I do." The ale was brought, which was soon drank, when the lady said, " Ay, I see you like it—it's genuine AND SAYINGS. 9 stuff-nothing but malt and hops." "Oh yes, there is, ma'am," replied John. "Indeed!" said the old lady, "what?" "Water, ma'am, water; you know you could not make it without water." “Ah! true, John; I forgot the water." "No, ma'am," retorted the labourer, "I'll be d-d if you did!" A DRINK is shorter than a tale. A DRUNKARD'S PURSE is a bottle. A DRUNKEN NIGHT makes a cloudy morning. ADVICE TO TAPSTERS IN GENERAL:- Ye tapsters who are wont to draw porter or ale, And would probably wish to draw more, You may hear of a plan, from a very short tale, Which, 'tis likely, you ne'er heard before. Giles Trickham, as ostler, the world did begin, Till, on strength of each traveller's bounty, He set up a pot-house, and there he laid in, I think, the worst ale in the county. Giles's maxim was this-if his profits were great, The sooner he'd taste the world's pleasures; And hence, like some other wise men in the State, He would oftentimes deal in half-measures! To a customer once, as conversing they stood, Giles bragged (for he always would speak Of his trade in the handsomest terms that he could) That he drew his three hogsheads a-week. 10 TAVERN ANECDOTES "That's a vast deal, indeed," quoth the other; "yct still, As you don't seem a man to mind trouble, I'm certain of this, that you may, if you will, Draw nearly that quantity double.” “I suppose,” replied Giles, with a wink of his eyc, “That you mean me to mix certain drugs To make people drink." "Why no, truly, not I; What I meant was, by filling your mugs!” A FACT.-In a suburb of London the gable end and chimney of a little public-house gave way, and was only saved from utter wreck by props. Round the corner, over the door, is inscribed, "This is the noted Stout House!" A FAIR OFFER.-Not many years ago there lived, in a fashionable resort on the banks of the Clyde, an old inhabitant, who, in the heat of the day, was wont to place himself at the door of the oldest public-house, calling out to the daughter of the landlord: "Maysy! Maysy! is yer faither in? Tell him if he'll be the biscuits I'll be the whisky." This offer, it need hardly be observed, was never rejected. A FARMER in Strathmore being învited to dine at Belmont, had the precaution to ask the butler if there was any particular ceremony to be observed at the table, and was told there was only one thing his lord and lady disliked, and that was the drinking AND SAYINGS. 11 of their healths. The good man determined to be on his good behaviour; so when raising his wine to his lips, he called out: "Here's to a' the company's gude health, except my Lord Privy Seal and Lady Betty Mackenzie.” A FELLOW once came into a tavern and called for meat; so, when he had dined, the tavern-keeper came for his money, but the fellow said he had no money. "But I will," said he, "pay you in songs," "Nay," said the tavern-keeper, "I want no songs: I must have money." "Why," said the fellow, "if I sing a song to please you, will you not then be satisfied?" "Oh yes," said the tavern-keeper. So he began, and sang three or four ballads, and asked the other if he was pleased. "No," said the other. Then he opened his purse, and began to sing thus: "When you have dined, make no delay, But pay your host and go your way.” "Doth this song please you?" said he. "Yes,' said the tavern-keeper, "this pleases me well." Then, as we agreed," said the fellow, "you are paid for your provender." A FLAVOUR.-A lemonless Irishman was ob- served one evening slicing a potato into his hot whisky toddy. "What are you about?" inquired Charlie. "It's punch I'm making, dear," replied Pat. "But what are you slicing that in for?" "To give it a flavour." "What, a potato flavour?" 12. TAVERN ANECDOTES 46 Sure, and isn't a flavour a flavour, whether it's lemon or potato?" AFTER-DINNER CHIT-CHAT." This would' be an excellent cheese if toasted," said the matronly Mrs. D. at a recent City dinner. "Then suppose we toast it," said our fat and facetious friend Sir John Berkshire, filling a bumper: "The cheese, three times three!" A FUNNY FALL.-A few nights since Tom Jones went home to his wife in rather a disguised condi- tion. He had drunk so often to the success of our volunteers, that he was compelled to eat a handful of cloves to remove the smell of whisky. While undressing, his wife detected the perfume of the spice, and said: "Good gracious, Tom, how dread- fully you smell of cloves!" "Eh?" said Tom, starting, c-l-o-v-e-s?" "Yes, cloves; any one would think you had been embalmed like a mummy!" This made his wits go wool-gather- ing. "Phew! you are regularly scented with them. Where have you been to-night?" continued the wife. Tom was thrown entirely off his guard, his brain rambled, and without the remotest idea of what he was saying, replied: "W-h-y-hic— Clara, the fact is, I have just been on a little trip to the East Indies, and while I was there I fell over a spice-box!" Then she knew what was the matter. AND SAYINGS. 13 "" A GENTLEMAN on horseback, stopping at an inn near Cork, called out, “Ostler!" on which the landlord came out, and bellowed several times: Nebuchadnezzar." "That's a strange name your ostler has got," said the traveller. "Plase, your honour," answered Boniface, "his name is Ned, but we call him Nebuchadnezzar for shortness." "A GLASS OF MADEIRA, doctor, come, I'm all right again,” said Gobble to his physician after a fit of gout, when caught indulging. "Ah," said the doctor, "that Madeira will never do; it is the cause of all your sufferings."—"Well, then,” re- joined Gobble, growing witty, "fill your glass; for now we have found out the cause, the sooner we get rid of it the better." A GOOD CUSTOMER.-A short time since a dig- nified person, with the bearing and general appear- ance of a country merchant, stepped into a whole- sale store in the city of Norwich, Connecticut, and in a bland tone and insinuating manner inquired of the proprietor if he sold gin by the barrel, at what price, and if it was a good article. He "would like to see a sample." Proprietor drew a large-sized tumbler nearly full. Country merchant tasted. "Ah!" said he, as he smacked his lips. with just a suspicion of delight, "that's good gin. What can you let me have a barrel of that for?" Proprietor named the price. "Remarkably good. 14 TAVERN ANECDOTES gin,” said he, taking another sip. "That reminds me of some gin I bought in 1848 ;" and he went on with a long story about that particular gin, stopping occasionally to try the sample until it was all gone but a swallow. The story finished, he tossed off the balance of it, and remarking that he liked the gin, and would come in and leave his order after making a few purchases elsewhere, left the store. An hour afterwards, while the proprietor was wait- ing upon some customers, the gin-buyer returned, and this time tackled one of the clerks with, "I have got to buy some gin to-day, and if you have got a first-rate article, I should like to see a sample. of it." Another large-sized tumblerful was forth- coming, and the old fellow tasted of it. Then he turned it round, held it up to the light, and tasted again. Then he smacked his lips, inquired the price, and took another sip. Then he remarked that it was very cold weather, and took a good swallow. Then he commented on the gin, and indulged in a few reflections upon how much more gin cost now than it did in 1848. He kept on talking, and he kept on drinking, and the clerk kept on waiting to consummate the trade. He was such a dignified man, and was so evidently a good judge of, as well as a large dealer in gin, that the clerk was not disposed to hurry him. But as he was taking down the last swallow the proprietor came round. The suspicion dawned on him that the country merchant was a better drinker than AND SAYINGS. 15 buyer. Stepping up to him, he thundered out, "Look here, sir, do you want to buy any gin?” The old fellow's dignity melted in an instant. Putting his hand in his overcoat, he drew out a pint bottle, and in the meekest and mildest voice imaginable, replied, "Yes, a half-pint in this bottle." A HANDSOME HOSTESS is bad for the purse. A HARD PUN.-A late Lord Chancellor, going, to attend at a public dinner at a City tavern stumbled on going upstairs. His successor, being in company, rendered him assistance, or else he might have reached the bottom of the staircase. On recovering his equilibrium, he remarked, "My Lord, we have tried many hard cases, but I find this stair-case the hardest of all." A HOTEL and livery stable-keeper at a fashion- able watering-place advertises, amongst other in- ducements to visitors, sociables for young ladies and gentlemen and sulkies for married folks. A HUNGRY WIT.-A gentleman dining at a fashionable hotel, whose servants were few and far between, despatched a lad among them for a cut of beef. After a long time the lad returned, and placing it before the faint and hungry gentleman, was asked, "Are you the lad who took my plate for this beef?" "Yes, sir." "Bless me," resumed the hungry wit, "how you have grown!" 16 TAVERN ANECDOTES A HUSKY VOICE.-There is a man in Boston whose voice is so husky that he is often suspected of being corned. He was thrashed the other day for not shelling out. A LADY made her husband a present of a silver drinking-cup with an angel at the bottom, and when she filled it for him he used to drain it to the bottom, and she asked him why he drank every drop. "Because, ducky," he said, "I long to see the dear little angel." Upon which she had the angel taken out, and had a devil engraved at the bottom, and he drank it off just the same, and she again asked him the reason. "Why," replied he, "because I wont leave the old devil a drop." ALBANY HOTEL is situate to the east of Burlington House, in Piccadilly. It was first pos- sessed by Lord Melbourne, and afterwards by the Duke of York and Albany; who having quitted it, the next proprietor built on the gardens, and converted the whole into chambers for the occa- sional residence of such nobles and gentry as have no regular town residence. ALBEMARLE HOTEL. Set up in honour of George Monk, Duke of Albemarle, 1608-70. ALBION TAVERN, Aldersgate Street.-One of the largest establishments of the kind in London, AND SAYINGS. 17 and famed for its good dinners, both public and private, and also its good wines. The farewell dinners given by the East India Company to their Governors of India were generally given at the Albion, and here-after a good dinner- the annual trade sales of the principal London publishers take place. ALCOHOL was first invented and used to stain the cheeks of the ladies of Arabia 950 years ago. It still reddens portions of the human face. ALCOHOL may be produced from nearly all vegetable substances, because most of these con- tain sugar, starch, gum, cellulose, or some other substance which, by the aid of an acid, may be easily changed into sugar. Alcoholizable sub- stances may be classed under two heads; Ist, those containing sugar already formed by nature, such as gooseberries, currants, figs, raspberries, melons, carrots, turnips, &c.; and 2nd, those which must be subjected to some process for developing the saccharine principle, such as barley, wheat, peas, beans, chestnuts, &c. To prove the presence or absence of water in alcohol, add to the suspected spirit a piece of caustic baryta. If the baryta re- mains unaltered, the alcohol is free from water; if, on the other hand, it swells and falls into a powder, water is present. ALDERMAN IN CHAINS.-A roasted turkey well C 18 TAVERN ANECDOTES stuffed with truffles and garnished with pork sausages, the latter emblematical of the gold chain worn by that civic dignitary. In the drama of Life in London, Billy Waters, a black fiddler, is made to reprove the landlord of the House of Call for Beggars because he had forgotten the Alder- man's Chain. One of the beggars, who has a black eye, exclaims, "Damme, landlord, you have for- got the sausages." "Vat's dat?" continues Billy Waters, “de turkey vidout de sassingers! de alder- man vidout him chain! So help me Bob! I will change my hotel!" ALE is the Scandinavian ol, a liquor made of the molte-beer, a large, red, three-lobed berry that grows wild in most parts of Scandinavia. Malt is the word molte, applied to the barley substitute of the Norwegian berry. Beer is ale with hops in it, called Baiersk (Bavarian). Even in England ale was made at one time of wheat, barley, and honey without hops. In some parts of the island ale means the stronger brew, and in others beer. The rule is this: wherever the Scandinavian element prevails, ale or öl is the strong drink; but where the German element predominates, it is beer or baiersk. Ale was known as a beverage at least in 404 B.C. Herodotus ascribes the first discovery of the art of brewing barley-wine to Isis, the wife of Osiris. A beverage of this kind is mentioned by Xenophon, 401 B.C. The Romans and Germans AND SAYINGS. 19 very early learned from the Egyptians the pro- cess of preparing a liquor from corn by means of fermentation. Alehouses are made mention of in the laws of Ina, King of Wessex, A.D. 688. Booths were set up in England, 728, when laws were passed for their regulation. Alehouses were subjected to regulation by 5 and 6 Edw. VI., c. 25 (1551). By 1 James I., c. 9 (1603), one full quart of the best and two quarts of the small ale were sold for one penny. ' "O, sweet ale, how sweet art thou, Thy chearing streams new life impart, . Esteemed by all our brotherhood To quench our thirst and do us good." ALE BY THE POUND IN OXFORD.—An Oxford publican, who lived near the pound, humorously had it over his door, "Ale sold by the pound.” ALE-CONNER, OR ALE-TASTER.-An officer ap- pointed at every Court Leet to look to the assize and goodness of ale and beer. ALE-DRAPER.-A tapster. Ale-drapery, the sell- ing of ale, &c. "No other occupation have I but to be an ale-draper."- H. Chettle, Kind-hart's Dreame, 1592. ALE-FEAST.—A festival or merry-making at which ale appears to have been the predominant liquor. "A quart of ale is a dish for a king." SHAKSPEARE's Winter's Tale, act iv. sc. 2. C 2 20 TAVERN ANECDOTES ALE-KNIGHT.-A haunter of alehouses, a tip- pler. t "Ye alehouse painted signs." SHAKSPEARE'S Titus Andronicus, act iv, scene 2. ALE, MIGHTY.— "And bought of mighty ale a large quart.” CHAUCER'S The Miller's Tale. ALES. Festive meetings of the country people were formerly called ales, as Whitsun ale, Mid- summer ale, bride ale, &c., denoting the time for such hilarious meetings. "Next Midsummer ale I may serve for a fool, and he for a Maid Marian."-The Antiquary, a comedy, 1641. ALE-SHOT.—A reckoning to be paid for ale. ALE-SILVER.-A yearly tribute paid to the Cor- poration of London as a licence for selling ale. ALE-STAKE.—The pole set up before alehouses. by way of sign. A bush was very often fixed to its top. "A garland had he set upon his head As great as it werin for an ale-stake."-CHAUCER. ALE-SPINNER.-A term applied to a brewer or publican. ALE-WIFE-The landlady of an alehouse or alestand. A "LIQUID MEASURE."-The new Licensing Bill. AND SAYINGS. 21 A HUMOROUS INSCRIPTION.-Some years since a man who lived in a country town divided his shop into two parts: on one side he opened a wine vault and on the other a book-stall, and placed. over his door the following lines:— "Two different trades united here you'll find; Wines to refresh the body, books the mind." ALL MAX.-All gin; not gin and water. ALL MAX IN THE EAST.-A large public- house in Wapping, to which multitudes of sailors and their trulls resorted nightly for the purpose, not of "sporting on the light fantastic toe," but of dancing the "double shuffle," "toeing and heeling," and the "hornpipe in fetters," as well as indulging in the plentiful potations of porter "pottle deep," besides large libations of liquid fire. The phrase was first used in contradistinction to Almack's in the West, in Pierce Egan's "Life in London." ALL NATIONS.-The partly-consumed pieces of tobacco found in public-house pipes when they are returned to the maker to be reburnt. When col- lected the mixture is sold under the term of "All Nations." ALLS.-A mixture, tap-dropping, odd drops of spirits, &c., which are sold at a cheap rate to the habitués of public-houses. ALLS.-The Five Alls.-A public-house sign. 22 TAVERN ANECDOTES It has five human figures, with a motto to each :- 1. A king, in his regalia, motto, I govern all. 2. A bishop,in his pontificals, "" I pray for all. 3. A lawyer, in his gown, I plead for all. "" I fight for all. "" I pay for all. 4. A soldier, in regimentals, 5. A labourer, with his tools, There are several variations of this old popular sign; at times and places it was only the Four Alls. Sometimes for the farmer or labouring man who had to "pay for all," a devil was substituted, who proclaimed, "I have all." ALLSOPP AND SONS.-These eminent brewers have been established at Burton-on-Trent, Stafford- shire, for upwards of a century. Their extensive premises cover over fifty acres of ground. They brew 600,000 barrels of ale, and pay to Govern- ment, in duty, over 200,000l. annually. The water of the Trent is admitted to be exceedingly suit- able for the brewing of India, pale, or bitter ales. ALMOND TREE, THE, was the sign of John Webster, in St. Paul's Churchyard, in 1663. The adaptation of the Almond Tree as a sign, so proxi- mate to the churchyard, has possibly an allusion to the fine allegorical description of inevitable human decrepitude in Ecclesiastes, chap. xii. ver. 5, when the "almond-tree shall flourish” and “the mourners go about the streets." AND SAYINGS. 23 A MAGISTRATE'S OPINION OF TEETOTALLERS. -At a recent temperance meeting at Heywood (says the Radcliffe Observer), Dr. Leach, J.P., who presided, said they often saw, in all societies, fanati- cal adherents, who allowed their success to be ob- structed by the violence of their opinions. Now this was one of the things he disagreed with in connexion with teetotalism. He liked to differ from a man, when he did differ, honestly, faith- fully, conscientiously, feeling that his opponent had as much right to his principles as he had to his own. He did not like a man who tried to hunt another down because he happened to differ from him—it was cowardly to do so, and unlike the fairness of an Englishman. It was declared by teetotallers that dealers in drink were the worst enemies of mankind, and of human nature. He totally dis- agreed with that assertion. He had travelled a good deal in the three kingdoms and some little on the Continent, and he always found in his travels that his only home was the licensed vic- tualler's house. He could get off the train, go in there, and have his supper, go and see the sights, come back to his slippers and arm-chair, then retire to a good bed, receiving all these comforts with the greatest attention, and at a moderate charge, and leaving the licensed victualler's with mutual respect when he went his way. If he had dinner, there was a bottle of water and a glass placed for him, and very rarely indeed was he even 24 TAVERN ANECDOTES man. asked if he would take wine. Because a man sold drink as his trade, he ought not to be the worse thought of; he allowed his house to be made the home of every traveller, and should, in all fairness, be treated with that charity that was due to every The people who trade in drink did not want a man to drink unless he did so voluntarily, and they looked upon the drunkard as the worst enemy they had. So he (Dr. Leach) quite disagreed with the vituperation which teetotallers sometimes used against the licensed victualler. The druggist had nothing said against him for selling alcohol, and yet he sold it in almost every drink he prepared. In the London Pharmacopoeia every sort of wine contained sherry. The druggist sold every kind of poison, because they were necessary to us, but no outcry was raised against his trade because a careless or ignorant man happened to poison him- self. A MASK NATURAL.-A celebrated toper, in- tending to go to a masquerade, consulted an acquaintance in what disguise he would advise him to go, and received for answer, "Go there sober, for once in your life, and I shall undertake that not one of your friends will know you.” AMERICAN WHISKY.-Whisky is now tested by the distance a man can walk after tasting it. The new liquid called "Tangleleg" is said to be made AND SAYINGS. 25 of diluted alcohol, nitric acid, pepper, and tobacco, and will upset a man at a distance of 400 yards from the demi-john. A MAN OF GENTEEL APPEARANCE, whose name we did not learn, while taking a lunch at the Royal Hotel, with a most vigorous lunge stuck a large three-pronged dining fork into his own mouth. He was not materially injured, there being a piece of cold roast lamb on the end of the weapon. A MAN who had been fined several weeks in succession for getting drunk, coolly proposed to the judge that he should take him by the year at a reduced rate. 66 A MAN very much intoxicated was sent to gaol. Why did you not bail him out?" inquired a bystander of a friend. "Bail him out!" exclaimed the other; "why, you could not pump him out.” A MILLER, who lately quitted his mill to keep a public-house, sent to a painter to paint him a sign, on which he would have a mill. "I must have the miller looking out of the window." "It shall be done," said the painter. "But as I was never seen to be idle, you must make him pop in his head if any one looks at him." This was promised, and in due time the sign was finished and brought home. "It is well done," said mine host; “but 26 TAVERN ANECDOTES where is the miller?" "Oh!" replied the painter, "he popped in his head when you looked." AMUSING PUNISHMENT. Years ago Lewis Holt kept a roadside inn in Suffolk, and had a way, which men of his persuasion have not alto- gether abandoned, of taking the money of passen- gers, sweeping it into his till, and fumbling after the change till the coach was off, when the passen- ger would have to run and leave his money. Charlie Dean stepped out of the coach one day, took a shilling's worth of brandy hot, and laid down a crown-piece, which Holt dropped into his till, and went hunting to get out the change. Away went the coach, and Charlie jumped on without his change; but he had time to read the name of Lewis Holt over the door, and making a note o it, rode on. Postage was high in those days, and was not required in advance. From London he wrote a letter to Holt, "Sell brandy-and-water at five shillings a glass, will you?" Holt paid a shil- ling postage on this letter, and two more on one sent in an envelope, for there was double postage in those days; and for two or three years he kept getting letters from his unknown customer, and would have got more to this day, but for the penny postage- stamp coming into operation. He had to pay two or three pounds in postage before the letters ceased to come, and as they were always directed in a fresh handwriting, he hoped each one was of more AND SAYINGS. 27 importance than those before. If Lewis Holt reads this he will find for the first time why he was so punished, and by whom. ANCIENT BRITON. ANCIENT BRITON. - The Ancient Briton is usually represented by a Druid, the variations are "The True Briton," "The Generous Briton," &c., and in latter times "John Bull, or the Fine Old English Gentleman." 28 TAVERN ANECDOTES ; A NATIVE OF BENGAL, who has been lately staying in London, says the hotel charges put him in mind of the Inn-dooes. AN AMERICAN INNKEEPER.-Old Rowe kept an hotel, where, he used to say, you could get any- thing that was ever made to eat. One day in came a Yankee, and stepping up to the bar asked old Rowe what he could give him for dinner. "Any- thing, sir," said old Rowe, "anything from a pickled elephant to a canary-bird's tongue.". "Wa'al," said the Yankee, eyeing Rowe, “I guess I'll take a piece of pickled elephant."-" Well, we've got 'em; got 'em all ready, right here in the house, but you'll have to take a whole 'un, 'cause we never cut 'em." The Yankee "thought he would take some codfish and potatoes." ANCIENT TEA-GARDENS ROUND OLD LON- DON. Evelyn in his Diary mentions Vauxhall as being much frequented in 1663; they were in the year 1615 the property of Jane Vaux. Ac- cording to Lysons, Bagnigge Wells Gardens opened about the year 1767. Mr. Keyse opened the Ber- mondsey Spa Gardens for tea-drinking about the year 1770. "Cuper's Gardens," says Pennant, "were in my memory the scene of low dissipa- tion." The site was in the possession of Beaufoy, the distiller, till the improvements occasioned by the erection of Waterloo Bridge. The Dog and Duck and Apollo Gardens stood on the site of 2 AND SAYINGS. 29 Bethlehem Hospital. "At Mary-la-Bonne," says Lysons, "some dukes at Maybone bowl time away." It was a very noted place in the reign of Queen Anne; Gay makes it the scene of Macheath's debauches. At Mulberry Gardens, situated at the upper end of St. James's Street, the company were regaled with cheesecakes and syllabub. Ranelagh Gardens were opened in the year 1740; its principal attraction was a splendid rotunda. Tunbridge Wells, or Islington Spa, was in full favour with the public about 1733, and in past times it was a rural walk to White Conduit House. To the Bear or Paris Gardens Queen Elizabeth caused the French Ambassadors to be taken for the diversion of bear-baiting, &c. AN ENGLISH INN.-The wayside inns of staid Scotland will not bear comparison with those of merry England. There you see them smiling, with their trellised gables, low windows, and over- hanging eaves all a twitter with swallows, a little way off the road, behind a fine tree, palisaded in the front circle- "In winter, shelter, and in summer shade." The porch is bloomy; and the privet hedge run- ning along the low wall does not shut out a culinary garden, deficient neither in flowers nor in fruits, with a bower at the end of the main gravel-walk, where, at tea or toddy, in love or friendship, you may sit, "the world forgetting, by 30 TAVERN ANECDOTES the world forgot;" or take an occasional peep at the various arrivals. Right opposite, on entering, you see the bar-and that pretty barmaid, she is the landlord's daughter. "The parlour on the left, sir, if you please," says a silver voice, with a sweet southern-that is, English accent, so captivating to every Scotchman's ear-and before you have had time to read the pastoral poem on the paper that gives the parlour walls their cheerful character, the same pretty creature comes trippingly in with her snooded hair comb-surmounted, and having placed you a chair, begins to wipe the table, already dust- less as the mirror in which she takes a glance at her shadow, as you take a gaze on her substance; and, having heard your sovereign will and pleasure, expressed with all the respectful tenderness of a subject, retires with a curtsy; and leaves you stroking your chin, in a mood of undefinable satisfaction with her, with yourself, and with all the world.-Blackwood's Magazine. A NEW DYE.-"What are you doing there, Jane?" "Why, pa, I'm going to dye my doll's pinafore red." "But what have you to dye it with?" "Beer, pa!" 'Beer! Who on earth told you that beer would dye red?" yesterday that it was beer that so red, and I thought that" take this child to bed." "( Why, ma said made your nose "Here, Susan, A NEW REASON FOR MATRIMONY.-An old AND SAYINGS. : toper was overheard the other day advising a young man to get married, "because then, my boy, you'll have somebody to pull off your boots when you go home drunk." A NEW SIGN for a tavern has recently been invented-Dew-drop Inn (do drop in). A NEW SIGN OF INEBRIETY.-A man trying to put his nightcap on with his boot-hooks. AN EXECUTION.-The elder Mathews one day arrived at a forlorn country inn, and addressing a lugubrious waiter, inquired if he could have a chicken and asparagus. The mysterious serving- man shook his head. "Can I have a duck, then?" "No, sir." "Have you any mutton chops?" "Not one, sir." "Then as you have no eatables, bring me something to drink. Have you any spirits?" "Sir,” replied the man, with a profound sigh, "we are out of spirits." "Then, in wonder's name, what have you got in the house?" "An execution, sir." ANCHOR, THE.-This sign, so frequently to be met with in shipping towns, is a great favourite with all classes of persons, it being emblematical and symbolical of Faith and Hope. Then there is the Blue Anchor, the One Anchor, the Two Anchors, &c. The sign is also to be found in common with many other popular, also absurd, ვი TAVERN ANECDOTES things, as Crown, Cable, Can, Castle, Lass, Rope, Ship, Shuttle, &c., ad infinitum. "Coil up your ropes and anchor here, Till better weather does appear." Sometimes a female figure in flowing garments is represented leaning on the anchor, in which case it is called the Hope and Anchor; such a painted sign is in Cannon Street, Brighton, and is to this day commonly known and spoken of by the locale inhabitants, from father to son, and mother to daughter, as "The Pretty Woman.” ANGEL.-The sign of the Angel is very general throughout the country. St. Michael being con- sidered the highest of the heavenly host, we think it most probable that the honour was intended chiefly for him, and we find that churches were dedicated to him, particularly such as were erected on ele- vated spots, as St. Michael's Mount, Cornwall, and one in Normandy. St. Michael was the reputed guardian of the Church, and the first day held in honour of this Saint was in the year 487, then styled "St. Michael and his Angels." This day is better known now as a settling day, being quarter- day for payment of rent, than as a day of feast- ing; but those who have their rents ready, and have a little to spare, still contrive to have a goose. for dinner on that day, it being the season when they are in the highest perfection- AND SAYINGS. 333 (( September, when by custom right divine, Geese are ordained to bleed at Michael's shrine." It was anciently the custom for landlords to treat their tenants with a goose on that day, but this, like many other of the good customs of our fore- fathers, has fallen into disuse, and the tenant must now buy one for himself, or dine as he can. "And lack-a-day! here's quarter-day ; It always comes too soon; So we by night must take our flight, For we must shoot the moon." At the sign of the Angel, in Bishopsgate Street, the Parish Clerks, who were incorporated in 1232 by Henry III., kept their hall. They recorded the account of christenings, casualties, &c., and pub- lished the bills of mortality; and, amongst other privileges of their charter, they were exempted from parish duties in that wherein they officiated; they attended funerals, and proceeded on foot before, singing, until they reached the church, and also had public feasts, with music and song. The far- famed Angel, at Islington, which, by-the-bye, happens to be positively and parochially (the same thing) in the parish of Clerkenwell (a fact that is the cause of many "catch" wagers being made), was formerly an old-fashioned roadside inn, having double galleries supported by columns and carved pilasters, with caryatides and other ornaments, and a large square inn-yard for the accommodation of carriers, waggoners, foot-posts, and higglers. As D 34 TAVERN ANECDOTES late as 1780, Clerkenwell, to the north of the upper end of St. John Street, was bounded by fields, through which a solitary road led to Isling- ton. At this comparatively recent period so in- fested was the neighbourhood by highwaymen that travellers usually preferred sleeping all night at the Angel Inn, at Islington, to journeying by this dangerous thoroughfare after dark. Those whose business called them in the country at a late hour used to assemble at the upper end of St. John Street, where there was an avenue of trees called Wood's Close, and where they waited till they were reinforced by other travellers, when they were escorted by an armed patrol to Isling- ton. There being such a profusion of Angels. everywhere it became necessary to make some distinctions, such as the Golden Angel, the Three Angels; or in combination with other matters, as the Angel and Crown, Bible, Still, Rose, Sun, Woolpack, Gloves, &c., &c. ANGLER-THE ANGLERS-JOLLY ANGLERS, &c., are common signs in the neighbourhood of trout-streams, chub-holes, and other favourite fishing resorts frequented by the disciples of Izaak Walton, who informs us that “Angling is somewhat like poetry, men are to be born so." "For angling-rod he took a sturdy oak; For line a cable, that in storm ne'er broke. His hook he baited with a dragon's tail, And then on rock he stood to bob for whale." AND SAYINGS. 35 AN INNKEEPER bragged that he had a bed so large that two hundred constables had laid in it at one time; he meant two constables of the Hun- dred. AN OLD TOPER addresses his bottle thus- ""Tis very strange that you and I Together cannot pull, For you are full when I am dry, And dry when I am full.” AN OLD WOMAN that sold ale, being at church, fell asleep during the sermon, and unluckily let her old-fashioned clasped Bible fall, which making a great noise, she exclaimed, half-awake, "So, you jade! there's another jug broke !" ANTELOPE.—The Antelope is frequently to be met with. There is a well-known one situated in White Hart Yard, Drury Lane, which the cele- brated comedian Macklin used to frequent; and, as is the case in other well-regulated houses, the chair was invariably resigned to the most venerable. The chair is still shown in which sat for many an even- ing "The Jew that Shakspeare drew," enlivening the company with his wit. ANTICIPATING.-"You need not sit up for me to-night," said a wag to his wife, "but can put the street-door key on the first-floor window sill.” "What do you mean?" exclaimed the astonished wife. "Why," answered he, "I expect to come D 2 36 TAVERN ANECDOTES home a little elevated, and shall be able to reach it. right enough." ANTI-FOGMATIC.-Spirituous liquors taken in- wardly with the idea of keeping the fog out. AN UNWELCOME CUP.-The hic-cup ANVIL.-The origin of the Anvil and Black- smith, the Anvil and Hammer, the Anvil and Horseshoe, &c. &c., it will not be difficult to find. "I saw a smith stand with his hammer, thus, And whilst his iron did on the anvil cool, With open mouth swallowing a tailor's news.” SHAKSPEARE. APPLE TREE, as a sign, originated in cider- making districts, and is still a favourite with road- side and village alehouse keepers. APOLLO was formerly a somewhat common sign, both as god of the sun and of song and music, or leader of the choir of the muses, when he was called Glorious Apollo." In the beginning of this century there was a notorious place of amusement in St. George's Fields, Westminster Road (on the site of Maudsley's factory), called Apollo Gardens, with an orchestra in its centre, and alcoves for tea-drinking, the walls of which were covered with pictures-a very common decoration to the wooden boxes in all these descriptions of gardens. APOLLO CLUB was held at the Devil Tavern, AND SAYINGS. 37 Fleet Street, and made famous in the past and pre- sent times by Ben Jonson, the dramatist. 66 Thence to the Devil- Thus to the place where Jonson sat, we climb, Leaning on the same rail that guided him.” APPROPRIATE INSCRIPTION.-A wag, having one night removed the signboard of a cutler, and placed it over the watch-house, the town's people were equally surprised and diverted the next morn- ing to read over the door of the cage, "Blades put in here." A PROBLEM FOR TOTAL ABSTAINERS. Tom Hood says, "Punny draughts can hardly be called drinking. Pints cannot be deemed potations.” A PROFESSIONAL TOAST.-At a certain public dinner in America, a preacher was called on to give a toast. The evening was so far advanced that every person present had been toasted already, and also all their friends. It thus happened that the preacher was in considerable perplexity as to what should form the subject of his toast. But the good man was a person of large sympathies, and rising from his seat said that, without troubling the com- pany with any preliminary observations, he begged to propose the health of "All people that on earth do dwell." A PUBLICAN, who boasted much of the good- ness of his ale, being requested by a traveller to 38 TAVERN ANECDOTES warm a pot for him, took the liberty of passing a curse on the stomach that would not warm the ale; which was met by a rejoinder from the tra- veller cursing the "ale that would not warm the stomach." A PUBLICAN BIT.-A poor fellow, who had spent scores of pounds at the bar drinking, one day asked the landlord to trust him with a glass of liquor. "No," was the surly reply; "I never make a practice of doing such things." The man turned to a bystander, and said, "Sir, will you lend me a sixpence ?" "Certainly," was the reply. "The landlord with alacrity placed the glass before the man, who swallowed its contents, then handing the money to the lender, said, "Here, sir, is the six- pence I owe you. I make it a point, degraded as I am, always to pay borrowed money before I pay my spirit bill." AQUA FORTIS.-Eighty years of age-spirits above proof, "strong as Aqua Fortis"-i.e., very strong. "What's the strongest drink you can let a chap have to treat his friends on his birthday?" said a customer to a slap-up London gin-palace proprietor. "Well, sir," replied the gin-spinner, "C aqua fortis is about the strongest stuff I know of." "You couldn't let's have a drop of aqua fiftus on this festive occasion, could you?" replied the customer. AND SAYINGS. 39 } A QUEER OLD GENTLEMAN being asked what he wished for dinner, replied, "An appetite, good company, something to eat, and a napkin.” AQUA VITÆ (Water of Life).—Certain ardent spirits used by the alchemists. Ben Jonson terms a seller of ardent spirits an "aqua vitæ man." The "elixir of life" was made from dis- tilled spirits, which were thought to have the power of prolonging life. A QUESTION.-Whether the "old wine" so much prized is older than elder wine? A REASON.-Over the door of a tavern, in the neighbourhood of Aberdeen, is the following inti- mation :- "James Rettie-licensed to sell the year that's begun— P-P-Porter and ale-F-F-Fusky and R-R-Rum. On a person inquiring the meaning of the above detached letters, he was answered that both the publican and the painter had an impediment in their speech, "and, perhaps," continued his in- formant, "the painter had a stuttering brush also." A REASON FOR NOT GAMING.-Some gentle- men being at a tavern together, for want of better diversion, one proposed play; "but," said another of the company, "I have fourteen good reasons against gaming." "What are they?" said another. "In the first place," answered he, "I have no 40 TAVERN ANECDOTES money." "Oh!" said the other, "if you had four hundred reasons, you need not name another." A RECENT TRAVELLER stopped at a cabaret in France, where the host had two sorts of wine, which he called "first table" and "common table." "I tried them both," says our traveller, "and found them lamen-table." ARDOUR IN BETTING.-Two gentlemen at a tavern having summoned a waiter, the poor fellow had hardly entered, when he fell down in a fit of apoplexy. "He's dead!" exclaimed one. "He'll come to!" replied the other. "Dead, for five hundred!" "Done!" retorted the second. The `noise and confusion which followed brought up the landlord, who called out to fetch a doctor. "No, no! we must have no interference; there's a bet depending." "But, sir, I shall lose a valuable. servant." "Never mind, you can put him down in the bill." A REFORMED DRUNKARD.-A gentleman very much addicted to drink often promised his friends that he would leave off the bad habit. One day a friend calling on him was informed by his servant that he was out. "Has he left off drinking yet?" inquired the gentleman. "Oh yes," said the ser- vant, "he has left off two or three times to-day." A REPORTER, in describing a meeting of a total AND SAYINGS. 41 abstinence society, said that "they had a most har- monious and profitable session, and retired from the hall full of the best of spirits." ARMS.-There is scarcely any proper, or im- proper name, place, or calling that is not used in conjunction with a public-house sign, or, as it is the fashion to call it, "Arms." The result is a heap of absurdities—some of them very amusing ones, and to which the modern invention of railways has contributed not a little. For example, at Lewes, a "Tunnel Arms," and we have seen a "Viaduct Arms," while stations, termini, junctions, boiler- makers, engines, engineers, stokers, guards, drivers, firemen, switchmen, pointsmen, porters, and ticket collectors have all found Arms for publicans and brewers, from the Land's End to John o' Groat's Castle! But, perhaps, the greatest curiosity in the way of "Arms" is in Foundry Street, Brighton, where may be seen the "Pedestrians' Arms!" If ever there was a case where legs were required, we should say it would be here! ARROW.-The Arrow was in former times a great favourite as a sign, the English as a nation having made their name terrible by the use of this weapon whenever our troops took the field. On the sign of "The Arrow" at Knockholt, in Kent, was this doggrel :- "Charles Collins liveth here, Sells rum, brandy, gin and beer; 42 TAVERN ANECDOTES I made this board a little wider, To let you know I sell good cider." ARTICHOKE.-The Artichoke is a somewhat common sign; but the why and the wherefore is difficult to conjecture. The plant has never been very popular to the English taste or smell, and its root certainly possesses no artistic beauties for a sign-painter to exercise his talent on. ASH TREE-the "Tree of the Universe "—is a common village or roadside sign, but more par- ticularly where alehouses are built in the shadow or immediate neighbourhood of such trees. A SKILFUL PACKER.—An Irish gentleman, put- ting up at one of the fashionable hotels, felt aggrieved at the high charge for small bottles of wine. The owner of the hotel coming into the coffee-room, when a friend was drinking a bottle with him, he thus addressed mine host:-"I beg pardon, sir, but as the gentleman and I have laid a wager, will you have the politeness to tell me what profession you were bred to?" "To the law," was the reply. "Well, sir, I have lost, for I bet that you were bred a packer." "A packer, sir! What in- duced you to think so?" "Really, sir, I guessed so from the appearance of your wine measures, for thought that no one but a skilful packer could possibly put a quart of wine into a pint bottle." A "SLEEPING" DRAUGHT.-Taking a dose ! AND SAYINGS. 43. A SMART PAINTER.-An artist in New York, says the Mechanic, painted an imitation of a bottle of spruce beer so naturally, that the cork flew out. before he could paint the string to fasten it! A SMART RETORT.-Mr. Court, who has been addressing large open-air meetings at Edinburgh, evinces the happiest tact in carrying off drunken interruptions from "victims" staggering from "over the way." A very drunken fellow vehemently in- terrupted him by asking, "What will you substitute for the puir man's drink?" "Substitute," said Mr. Court, "I would substitute that shocking bad hat you wear with a better one-that shabby coat on your back with a better one-a miserable meal of food which you take with a good one-and I would substitute your present ignorance with useful in- formation." The laughter was turned completely against the shaky fellow, and he said no more. A SIMPLE WAITER.-A veteran who had lost an eye in the service of his country supplied the deficiency of appearance by a glass one. When undressing at an inn, he gave it to a simple lad who was waiting upon him, desiring him to lay it upon a table. This done, the simpleton continued waiting upon him, when the officer asked, "What the devil do you wait for now?" "Only for the other eye, sir!" 44 TAVERN ANECDOTES A SPIRITLESS WIFE.- "Is my wife out of spirits?" said Jack, with a sigh, As her voice of a tempest gave warning; “Quite out, sir, indeed," said the maid in reply, "For she emptied the bottle this morning." A SPIRIT LEVEL.-Drink, that lowers a man to the level of the beast. A SPIRITUAL STORE.-A certain deacon who was a zealous advocate for the cause of temperance, some years since, one hot summer's day, employed a carpenter to make some alterations in his par- lour. In repairing a corner near the fireplace it was found necessary to remove the wainscot; when lo! a "mare's nest" was brought to light, which astonished the workman most marvellously. A brace of decanters, sundry junk bottles-all con- taining "something to take "-a pitcher and tum- blers, were cosily reposing there in snug quarters. The joiner, with wonder-stricken countenance, ran to the proprietor with the intelligence. "Well, I declare," exclaimed the deacon, "that is curious, sure enough. It must be that old Captain B. left those things there when he occupied the premises thirty years since." "Perhaps he did," returned the discoverer; "but, deacon, that ice in the pitcher must have been well frozen to have re- mained solid so long a time." AND SAYINGS. 45. GAUL PERFIDE ALBION (( ME VILL MAKE DE JEAN BULL TREMBLE NOW, JE HAVE FOUND OUT DE GRANDE CONVEYANCE.” ASS IN A BAND-BOX.-This very curious and rare sign was formerly to be seen in the little village of Nidd, about four miles from Knares- borough, a well-built market town of the West Riding of Yorkshire, and famous for its "dripping well" by the banks of the river, the waters of which have a singularly petrifying quality. The house of the "Ass in a Band-box," was discon- tinued as an inn some twenty years ago, but the owners of the property thought the signboard worth preserving, and it is now at Nidd Hall, the residence of Miss Rawson. The signboard is 46 TAVERN ANECDOTES historically interesting, as it refers to the threatened invasion of England by Napoleon Bonaparte. The inn appears-writes our informant, Mr. John Musham, the station-master of the Knaresborough Station, on the North Eastern Railway-to have been familiarly known in the neighbourhood as the "Old Bonaparte." The signboard represents Napoleon in full uniform riding on an ass--the ass standing in a band-box, which latter is floating on, or sailing across the English Channel, and bears the following inscription: "Me vill make de Jean Bull tremble now, I have found out de grande conveyance." "Oh! my ass in a band-box," is a common exclamation in answer to the offer of ser- vices, or other things inadequate to the purposes for which they are proffered-like the offer of a pasteboard band-box for a seat-from which doubtlessly the expression took its origin. The result is obvious. A SUP OF GOOD WHISKY will make you glad; Too much of the "creature" will set you mad; If you take it in reason, 'twill make you wise; If you drink to excess it will close up your eyes, And the verdict will be— SARVE YE RIGHT. A SUP-PORTER.-A lamp-post is sometimes a man's best friend, it upholds him in some trying time, when he has reached a dizzy height. AND SAYINGS. 47 A TAPSTER being present at a service, and falling asleep just under the pulpit, was awakened by the minister striking his desk for emphasis's sake, and, starting up suddenly, cried, "Anon, anon, sir!" AT A PUBLIC-HOUSE where the stages were accustomed to halt was posted up the following couplet :— "Stop, brave boys, and quench your thirst, If you wont drink, your horses must." AT AN HOTEL a short time since a girl in- quired of a gentleman at the table if his cup was out. "No," said he, "but my coffee is." The poor girl was considerably confused, but deter- mined to pay him in his own coin. While at dinner the stage drove up, and several coming in, the gentleman asked, "Does the stage dine here?" "No, sir," exclaimed the girl, in a sarcastic tone, "but the passengers do.” A TAVERN BOASTER the other day vaunting his knowledge of the world, was asked by a wag at his elbow if he had been in Algebra. "Oh yes," said he; "I once passed through it on the top of a coach." A TAVERN DINNER.-A party of bon vivants, having drunk an immense quantity of wine, rang for the bill. The bill was accordingly brought, but the amount appeared so enormous to one of the 48 TAVERN ANECDOTES company (not quite so far gone as the rest) that he stammered out, it was impossible so many bottles could have been drunk by seven persons. "True, sir," said the waiter, "but your honour forgets the three gentlemen under the table." "So comes a reckoning when the banquet's o'er, The dreadful reckoning, and men smile no more.”—Gay. A TAVERN-KEEPER who opened an oyster shop as an appendage to his other establishment was upbraided by a neighbouring oystermonger as being both ungenerous and selfish. The former replied, "And why would you not have me sell fish?" A TEETOTALLER asked a gentleman if he were not inclining to the Temperance Society: and he replied, "Yes, for when he saw the wine his mouth watered," ATHOLL BROSE.-A beverage used in Mid- Lothian, composed of whisky and honey. A TOUGH MORSEL.-A party taking supper at an hotel, found the poultry rather tough. One genius, after exercising his ingenuity to no effect in trying to dissect an old fowl, turned to the waiter, and asked, "Have you such a thing as a powder-flask?" "No, sir, we have not; do you want one?" 'Why, yes, I think the shortest way would be to blow this fellow up!" (( AND SAYINGS. 49 A TRAVELLER.-Anybody who wants anything to drink.-A. Walker. A TRAVELLING YANKEE lately put up at a country inn where a number of loungers were assembled telling stories. After sitting some time and attentively listening to their folly, he suddenly turned and asked them how much they supposed he had been offered for his dog, which he had with him. They all started, and curiosity was on tip- toe to know. One guessed five dollars, another ten dollars, another fifteen, until they had ex- hausted their patience, when one of them seriously asked how much he had been offered. "Not a darned cent!" he replied. A TRUE BILL.-The following is a veritable copy of a "bill" passed, not long since, at a village in Essex, to a gentleman who had left his horse at one of the inns, with directions that it should be baited for the night, and brought home the next morning. The man who brought the animal brought also the account in question with him. To anos To agitinonimom S. d. 4 6 0 6 5 0 For such of our readers as are not used to decipher hieroglyphics, we give the translation- E 50 TAVERN ANECDOTES S. d. To an horse 4 6 To a gittin' on him home 0 6 5 0 Surely it is a fine familiar episode of equestrian literature. AUNT is the title of the flaunting lady who presides at the bar of a gin palace, it being a common expression with one coming out of a pawnbroker's shop to say, "I have just been on a visit to my Uncle, and I will now go to inquire after the health of my Aunt," that is, the gin-shop. Among the gipsies, &c., Aunt is a title of pre- eminence for the senior Dells or Doxies, who perform the offices of instructress in midwifery, &c., to the younger Dells. A VAGRANT called at a house on Sunday, and begged for some cider. The lady refused to give him any, and he reminded her of the oft-quoted remark, "That she might entertain an angel un- awares." "Yes," said she, "but angels don't go about drinking cider on Sundays." (( A WINE MERCHANT, in extolling an ex- cellent article of port," says in his advertisement, "it is as pure as the tears which bereaved affection drops upon a new-made grave." A WISE LANDLORD.-One night a judge, a ... AND SAYINGS. 51 military officer, and a priest, all applied for lodg- ing at an inn where there was but one spare bed, and the landlord was called upon to decide which had the best claim of the three. "I have lain fifteen years in the garrison at B.," said the officer. "I have sat as judge twenty years in R.," said the judge. "With your leave, gentlemen, I have stood in the ministry twenty-five years at N.," said the priest. “That settles the dispute," said the land- lord. "You, Mr. Captain, have lain fifteen years; you, Mr. Judge, have sat twenty years; but the aged pastor has stood five-and-twenty years, so he certainly has the best right to the bed." AXE.-There is a good inn named "The Axe,” in Aldermanbury. The name must have had its origin in the olden time, when the axe formed the chief instrument of war. In modern times, various instruments of modern warfare have been set up by the keepers of inns, &c., in compliment to the army, by whom they are much benefited when quartered in their neighbourhood. Thus, in allu- sion to the army, we have the sign of "The Gun,” "The Mortar," "The Cannon," "The Dragoon," "The Grenadier," "The Sharp Shooter," "The Volunteer," &c., and we generally find these situated near to barracks, or places where the military have been stationed. AXE AND BOTTLE was doubtless a transposi- E 2 52 TAVERN ANECDOTES tion from "The Battle-axe," an appropriate sign in warlike times. AXE AND COMPASSES.-It's very plane, by iine and rule, that this sign was first set up for a house. of call-or centre-bit for carpenters to meet and square the circle level, warm their joints, and spend their brads-all for the good of the house, after leaving the bench, where the old files had been hammering their nails, driving their screws, rasping their saws, malleting their chisels, boring their augers, gouging their grooves and channels. But let us hope that they may make plenty of chips, and stick like glue to virtue and cut vice, ere they finally shave their mahogany and become but "dust to dust!" AXE AND CLEAVER was no doubt set up in compliment to those "innocent lambs"—slaughter- men, butchers, et id genus omne. AXE AND SAW was used as a house of call for wheelwrights and ship carpenters. AXE AND TUN is intended as an intimation to step in and "Axe for beer." A YORKSHIREMAN, on a visit to a visit to London, stepped into an eating-house in the Strand, but, on approaching a table, was surprised to see nothing on it. "What will you have?" asked the waiter. York stared at him, but presently AND SAYINGS. 53 replied, "I dunno." "Would you like a bill of fare, sir?" said the waiter. "Thank ye,” said the farmer, "I don't care if I do take a small piece." BABES IN THE WOOD.-A public-house term for dice; some use the term "Children in the Wood" in the same sense. lovem non Huc huc pierides Dimm Hifp Costalis mi omen (( BACCHANALIA.” BACCHANALIA.-Festivals in honour of Bacchus were distinguished for their licentiousness and de- bauchery. Plato says he has seen the whole population of Athens drunk at these festivals.-An 54. TAVERN ANECDOTES English sailor, in a state of extreme intoxication, was lying on his back in the street in Calais. The police considerately placed him on a hand barrow, with a view of carrying him to his quarters. They had not, however, proceeded far with their load, when Jack, opening his eyes, threw himself violently on the pavement, exclaiming with an oath, that "no Frenchman should carry him." him." He was placed on the barrow, but he could not be kept there, as he was an unusually powerful man; but his falls had the effect of sobering him.-But a richer scene than this with a drunken man was witnessed some years ago in the suburbs of Dublin. He was lying on his face, by the roadside, apparently in a state of physical unconsciousness. "He is dead," said a countryman of his, who was looking at him. “Dead!” replied another, who had turned him with his face uppermost: "by the powers, I wish I had just half his disase!"-in other words, a moiety of the whisky he had drunk.-A country gentleman, after dinner, laid hard siege to his hostess's wine, despite of her pressing invitations to taste her "excellent made wines, for which she had always been so famed." Having at length prevailed, she ventured to ask for an opinion. "I always give a candid one," said her guest, "where eating and drinking are concerned. It is admirable stuff to catch flies."-One of a dinner party, who mistook some Cape wine for Madeira, putting it to his lips exclaimed, loud enough for his host to hear, "Oh, AND SAYINGS. 55 hang this Cape! I wish the place was sunk ;" and this was the last time the vile stuff appeared at that table. BACCHUS, or JOLLY BACCHUS, as a sign is to be frequently met with. The riotous, noisy god of wine is usually painted astride a cask, and crowned with a wreath of evergreens. "Come thou monarch of the vine, Plumpy Bacchus, with pink eyne.” SHAKSPEARE'S Antony and Cleopatra, act ii. sc. 7. BACCHANALS-BACCHANALIANS-vulgo "The Bag o' Nails." A public-house in Pimlico had origi- nally a sign on which was represented a satyr and several Bacchanalians dancing and carousing. The common people called the satyr the devil, and, in course of time, the sign was known only as "The Bag o' Nails," or "The Devil and the Bag o' Nails.” Well might Ben Jonson exclaim— "It even puts Apollo To all his strengh of art to follow The flights, and to divine What is meant by every sign." "The Devil and the Bag o' Nails" as a sign is not uncommon even now in the Midland Counties. BAD COMPANY.-A profligate young nobleman being in company with some sober people desired leave to toast the devil; the gentleman who sat next to him said, "he had no objection to any of his lordship's personal friends being toasted." 56 TAVERN ANECDOTES BADMINTON is properly a "copus cup," made of claret spiced and sweetened, a favourite with the Duke of Beaufort, of Badminton. As the duke used to be a great patron of the prize ring, the "gentlemen of that ilk" use Badminton or claret as the synonym of blood. BAKER AND BASKET is the sign of a public- house in Leman Street, Whitechapel; and of another in Worship Street, Shoreditch. There can be but little or no doubt that the sign was set up in compliment to the metropolitan bakers using the place as a house of call, wherein the loafers of the trade of manufacturing the "Staff of Life" might freely descant on the number of "dead men" they had made" crusty and crummy"-during the week. BAKER AND BREWER was a common country and roadside sign, from the fact of the two busi- nesses being often combined. "Arcades ambo!" "The counterfeit presentment of two brothers." "The baker says, I've the Staff of Life, And you're a silly elf. The brewer replied, with artful pride, Why, this is life itself." BALD-FACED STAG.-The Bald-faced Stag is to be seen in many towns. Bald-faced is a term ap- plied to horses who have a white stripe down the forehead to the nose. At "The Bald-faced Stag," AND SAYINGS. 57 in the immediate vicinity of Epping Forest, Cock- ney sportsmen were, until a very recent period, in the habit of meeting by countless hundreds on Easter Monday to hunt, or, more properly speak- ing, worry down, "a poor sequestered stag." • • BALL.-Balls of various sizes and colours were invariably the signs of quack doctors and fortune- tellers in the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries, while a golden ball, or globe, was common as a mercer's sign. Balls red, white, blue, black, green, &c.-1, 2, and 3-and in combination with many things from a "needle to an anchor," have ever been common as trade and public-house signs. In Cecil Street, and afterwards in Salisbury Street, lived the mountebank and astrologer John Partridge. After his death we find an advertisement setting forth that "Dr. Partridge's night-drops, night-pills, &c., and other medicines of his own preparing, continue to be sold as before by his widow, at the BLUE BALL, in Salisbury Street, near the Strand." "The Three Golden Balls" is the emblem of St. Nicholas, who is said to have given three purses of gold to three virgin sisters to enable them to marry. As the cognizance of the Medici family it probably re- presents three golden pills! and it is from the Lombard family, who were the first great money lenders in England, that the sign has been appro- priated by pawnbrokers. BAPTIST'S HEAD.-The sign of the Baptist's 58 TAVERN ANECDOTES Head appears to have been of much prevalence in the time of the Papal domination. The subject seems to have been very generally adopted by Guido and other eminent painters. In the Elles- mere Gallery is a fine picture, by Dominico Feti, of St. John's head in a charger, precisely as de- picted on the tavern signs of old. Hogarth, in the "Noon" print of his Four Parts of the Day, 1738, has shown two signs in Hog Lane, now Castle Street, Seven Dials, apparently then well known in the neighbourhood. One is the Baptist's head in a charger, inscribed, below, "Good Eating." The other, the "Good Woman," ie, without a head! BARCLAY AND PERKINS'S BREWERY, Park Street, Southwark, was founded by Henry Thrale, the friend of Dr. Johnson, and sold by Johnson and his brother executor, on behalf of Mrs. Thrale, for 135,000l. Barclay was a descendant of the famous Barclay who wrote the "Apology for the Quakers," and Perkins was the chief clerk in Thrale's esta- blishment. While on his tour to the Hebrides, 1773, Johnson mentioned that Thrale "paid 20,000l. a year to the revenue, and that he had four vats, each of which held 1600 barrels, or above a thousand hogsheads." The establishment in Park Street is now the largest of its kind in the world. The buildings extend cver ten acres, and the machinery includes two steam engines. The store-cellars con- tain 126 vats, varying in their contents from 4000 AND SAYINGS. 59 barrels down to 500. About 160 horses are em- ployed in conveying beer to different parts of London. The quantity brewed in 1826 was 380,180 barrels, on which a duty of ten shillings per barrel, 180,080l. was paid to the revenue; and in 1835 the malt consumed exceeded 100,000 quarters.—Cunningham's London, ed. 1851. BARLEY BREE—Whisky. Bree is a Scottish word, which signifies broth, juice or decoction, there- fore wort or ale is properly the bree, whisky being distilled therefrom; custom, however, as in every thing else, has here predominated. "The cock may craw, the day may daw, And aye we'll taste the barley bree." BURNS, "Willie Brewed a Peck o' Maut.” BARLEYCORN, JOHN.-A personification of malt liquor; the term has been made popular by Robert Burns. "John Barleycorn was a hero bold, Of noble enterprise ; For if you do but taste his blood 'Twill make your courage rise.”—BURNS. BARLEYCORN, SIR JOHN.-A jocular name for ale or beer. Sir John is the subject of a famous old ballad of the same name. In a whimsical tract of ancient date, entitled "Sir John Barley- corn, Knt.," he is described of "noble blood, well- beloved in England, a great supporter of the Crown, and a maintainer of both rich and poor." The following list of the jury is curious- 60 TAVERN ANECDOTES Timothy Toss-pot, Benjamin Bumper, Giles Lick-spigot, Barnaby Full-pot, Launcelot Toper, John Six-go-downs, Richard Standfast, Small Stout, John Never-sober, Obadiah Thirsty, Nicholas Spendthrift, Edmund Empty-purse. Sir John is tried in regular form, the jury returning a verdict of NOT GUILTY. It is even now common in some counties to try persons for scandal—baď language, and breaking the public-house rules— under Sir John Barleycorn's Act. The jurors being sworn on a pot of beer "to find a true verdict, according to the evidence brought before you, so-DRINK FROM THE POT." BARN MOUSE.-To be bitten by a barn mouse, to be tipsy-doubtless from an allusion to barley. BARREL FEVER, HE DIED OF THE. He killed himself by drinking. BAT AND BALL is a common sign for public- houses situate near a cricket-ground; as also the Cricketers, or Cricketers' Arms, &c., for places fre- quented or kept by old cricketers, who, on " carry- ing out their bat," generally "pitch their wickets" in some snug hostelry, where they talk over their "old scores," and show "how fields were won," till "bowled” or “stumped out" by that inexorable wicket-keeper-Time. AND SAYINGS. 61 BATH ARMS.—The practice of naming public- houses after counties or towns may be immediately traced to the fact that the first landlord was a native of the place after which he designated his hostelry. It is the case with a house in Meeting- house Lane, Brighton, having for its sign the Bath Arms. The first landlord, a Mr. W. Robinson, who built the house and obtained for it the licence, hailed from the city of Bath. The present pro- prietor has the following placed in several con- spicuous places in and round about the bar J. W. HARWOOD'S ELIXIR OF LIFE, To be taken every Morning, 3d. PER GLASS. FRIENDLY ADVICE. Call frequently, Drink moderately, Be good company, Part friendly, Go home quietly. Let these lines be no man's sorrow, Pay to-day, and I'll trust to-morrow. J. W. HARWOOD. BATTLE. — Many publicans - the sinners!- "draw the form and model of our battles," as Shak- speare has it, on their signboards, and we find the Battle of the Nile, Trafalgar, Waterloo, Gibraltar, 62 TAVERN ANECDOTES Balaklava, Alma, Inkerman, Abyssinia, &c. &c. im nearly every town and village. BEAR.-The popularity of the “Bear” as a sign is to be attributed to the old vulgar pleasure of seeing him ill-treated, a relic of the once common amusement of bear-baiting. It was not till the year 1835 that baiting was finally put down by Act of Parliament, forbidding the keeping of any house, pit, or other place for baiting or fighting any bear, bull, dog, or other animal, and, after an existence of at least seven centuries, this ceased to rank among the amusements of all classes of the English people. The public-house bear is repre- sented in various colours, as Black, White, Brown, Red, and even Green. An illiterate vendor of beer wrote over his door at Harrogate, "Bear sold here!" "He spells the word quite correctly," said Theodore Hook, "if he means to apprize us that the article is his own Bruin." Bears used often to be represented with chains round their necks. On the Southwark side of London Bridge stood a tavern known as "The Bear at the Bridge Foot," which retained a celebrity for some centuries. It was the house to which travellers resorted who wished to pass by water to Gravesend in the "tilt boats," which, in about two days, conveyed them to that, then, far-off locality. Of such convenience was this house to voyagers, that in 1633, when others were closed, this was exempted "for the AND SAYINGS. 63 convenience of passengers to Greenwich." Pepys, in his diary, more than once mentions this tavern ; and, among other things, notes that "The Duke of Richmond arranged that the King's cousin, the fair Frances Stewart, should leave the Court privily, and join him at the Bear at the Bridge Foot,' where a coach was ready, and they are stole away into Kent, without the King's leave." The antiquity of the house is noted in a poem of 1691, entitled "The Last Search after Claret in South- wark "We came to the Bear, which we soon understood Was the first house in Southwark built after the flood." It took its sign, doubtless, from the popular sport of bear-baiting, which was indulged in by the Londoners in the Southwark bear-gardens, and the "token" issued by one of the owners of this hostelry exhibits a chained and muzzled bear, as may be seen by the original now in the British Museum. "Farewell, Bridge-foot, and Bear thereby, And those bald pates that stand so high, We wish it, from our very souls, That other heads were on those poles." BEAR AND RAGGED STAFF.-A public-house in Smithfield, &c., in compliment to Warwick, the King-maker, whose cognizance it was The first earl was Arth or Arthgal, of the Round Table, whose cognizance was a bear, because arth means a bear (Latin urs). Morvid, the second earl, over- 54 TAVERN ANECDOTES came, in single combat, a mighty giant, who came against him with a club, which was a tree pulled up by the roots, but stripped of its branches. In remembrance of his victory over the giant, he added “the ragged staff.” "Now, by my father's badge, old Nevil's crest, The rampant bear chain'd to the ragged staff, This day I'll wear aloft my burgonet." SHAKSPEARE'S King Henry VI. Second Part. BEAR AND STEAK.-Wilkes happened to meet with a friend in the city, went into Dolly's chop- house, and, being seated near a purse-proud citizen, they were much annoyed by his bawling out for his steak. In order to divert the attention of the cit for a little, Mr. Wilkes endeavoured to com- mence a dialogue with him, but was answered in such a surly manner that it made him decline further communication with him. On the steak being brought in, Mr. W. remarked to his friend, "That there was a difference between the city and the bear-garden; for there the bear was brought to the stake, but here the steak was brought to the bear." BEARGERED, or BEER-GEARED.-Lushy, drunk, overladen'; running over in consequence of being furnished or supplied with too much beer. BEAR AND BIRD.—Mr. Bear being at a public dinner, two gentlemen of the name of Bird being in company, after the cloth was removed, Mr. AND SAYINGS. 65 Bear, who was a good singer, was called on to oblige the company with a song; he immediately rose, and said, “Gentlemen, your conduct on this occasion is so highly improper, that I cannot help noticing it." "For why?" said the gentlemen. "Because," he replied, "you call on a Bear to sing when you have two Birds in the company." BEEHIVE.-Under the sign of the Beehive we often find- "Within this hive we're all alive, Good liquor makes us funny; If you are dry, step in and try The flavour of our honey." Or, slightly altered to suit the Irish taste, it is ta be found as— "Within this hive we're all alive With whisky as sweet as honey; If you are dry, step in and try, But don't forget the money." Over a drinking-booth at Donnybrook Fair was- "Under this hive We're all alive, Good whisky makes us funny; If you are dry, Walk in and try The flavour of our honey," In Castlegate, Grantham, near the church, a bee- hive is substituted for a signboard, with the follow- ing inscription underneath— F 63 TAVERN ANECDOTES 66 Stop! Traveller, this wondrous sign explore, And say, when thou hast viewed it o'er, Grantham, now two rarities are thine, A lofty steeple and a living sign.” 66 BEASTLY DRUNK.” BEASTLY DRUNK.-It was an ancient notion that men in their cups their cups exhibited the vicious qualities of beasts. Nash describes seven kinds of drunkards (1) The Ape-drunk, who leaps and AND SAYINGS. 67 sings; (2) The Lion-drunk, who is quarrelsome; (3) The Swine-drunk, who is sleepy and puking; (4) The Sheep drunk, wise in his own conceit, but un- able to speak; (5) The Martin-drunk, who drinks himself sober again; (6) The Goat-drunk, who is lascivious; and (7) The Fox-drunk, who is crafty, like a Dutchman in his cups. Besides these, there is the Maudlin-drunk, which does not belong to the "beasts," but means the man who weeps with kindness. “BELIEVE NOTHING that you hear, and only half of what you see." The latter portion of this ad- vice is only appropriate to drunkards, who noto- riously "see double." BELL PUBLIC-HOUSE, Bell Yard, Gracechurch Street, one of the oldest in the neighbourhood, was sold for 70327. a few days ago.-The Times, 1864. BELL-BELLS.-Bells in superstitious times were held in great veneration, and it excites no wonder that such should be adopted as a characteristic and distinguishing sign by the publican; hence we have The Bell, both old and new, in all parts of the country. The Ring of Bells, Five Bells, and Eight Bells, allude to the practice of playing on a number of bells, which were either carried about by the player, or, in some houses, kept for a professor or the amateur, to amuse the frequenters of the house F 2 68 TAVERN ANECDOTES "> Stowe, the historian of London, mentions a Black Bell Inn being nearly opposite to the place where the Monument now stands. It was a large house of stone, and previously the residence of Edward the Black Prince, which probably induced the new pro- prietor to set up the sign of The Black Bell. It was at the Bell Inn, about midway, on the east side of Warwick Lane, where the pious Archbishop Leighton ended his earthly pilgrimage, according to his wish, which Bishop Burnet, in his " Own Times,' states him to have thus expressed in the same peaceful and moderate spirit, as that by which, in the troublous times of the Commonwealth, Leighton won the affections of even the most rigid Presby- terians. He used often to say, that if he were to choose a place to die in it should be at an inn, it looking like a pilgrim's going home, to whom this world was all an inn, and who was weary of the noise and confusion in it. He added, that the officious tenderness and care of friends was an en- tanglement to a dying man; and that the uncon- cerned attendance of those that could be procured in such a place would give less disturbance. And he obtained what he desired; for he died here in 1684. In the daily newspapers of October 7th, 1865, we read-" TREASURE TROVE.-At the Old Bell Inn, Warwick Lane, now in process of demolition, a large number of 'left parcels' have been dis- covered-parcels for which no owners could be found-many of them having been there, it is AND SAYINGS. 69 stated, for half a century. Some of the articles of clothing, &c., look peculiarly quaint when viewed in the light of the present day. The jewellery discovered is said to be worth 700l. or 8ool." The Bell occurs in innumerable combinations, most of which seem to have no particular meaning, but simply to arise from the old custom of quartering signs, as The Bell and Anchor, Black Horse, Bullock, Dragon, Lion, Talbot, &c., which are to be found in every part of Great Britain. To the sign of The Bell, as in connexion with the Church, was frequently annexed the inscription, "Fear God and Honour the King." The Craftsman, September 30th, 1738, in reference to this practice, says, "I am not antiquary enough to account how the Bell happened to have this venerable motto, but it being grown trite, a jovial innkeeper, a great lover of poetry, desired a reverend and facetious divine, his customer, to turn the same motto into verse. The man had but little room on his sign, and yet being postmaster, insisted on having his loyalty expressed; so that the worthy divine was obliged to leave out the Fear of God, and happily rendered the other part in the following beautiful tetrastich― "Let the king Live long; Dong ding, Ding dong !" 70 TAVERN ANECDOTES THE BELLE SAVAGE. BELL SAVAGE.-The Bell Savage Inn was for- merly situated in a yard so named on the north side of Ludgate Hill, and was a house of consider- able fame and business, whence coaches took their departure to various parts of the country. Few signs have been so often wrongly explained. There can be no reasonable doubt that the Bell Savage Yard, now a court surrounded with noble buildings, from one of which Cassell, Petter, and Galpin's numerous publications are issued, was once the site of an inn called The Bell and Hoop, or possibly The Bell and Hope, or Anchor, the symbol of hope; and that, as years went on, this degenerated, under the tenancy of one Savage, into The Bell Savage's Inn, or simply The Bell Savage. The signboard, too, having commenced life with representations of the double security of a sailor, a bell, and anchor, or "hope"-for we must remember that 400 years ago ships sailed AND SAYINGS. 71 up the Fleet as far as King's Cross, and were moored almost at the door of our hostelry-the bell and hope got changed by degrees into a bell, within a "hoop," and at last, during the tenancy of the now immortal Master Savage, the sign became a savage man under a bell, in which form it was well known in the old coaching days, from being painted on all the vehicles plying to and from Ludgate Hill. "The Carriers of Don- caster, in Yorkeshire, and many other parts in that country, doe lodge at the Bell, or Bell Savage without Ludgate; they do come on Fridaies, and goe away on Saturdaies or Mundaies."-John Taylor's (the water-poet) "The Carriers' Cosmo- graphie." London, Printed by A. G., 1637. "In Bell Savage Yard lived Grinling Gibbons, where he carved a pot of flowers which shook surprisingly with the motion of the coaches that passed by."- Walpole. BEN JONSON, owing a landlord some money, kept away from his house. The vintner, meeting him by chance, asked him for what was owing to him, but at the same time told him that if he would come to his house and answer him four questions, he would forgive him the debt. To this proposal Ben very readily assented, and at the time appointed waited upon the landlord, who produced a bottle of wine, and then put to him these questions: "First, what pleases God? 72 TAVERN ANECDOTES Secondly, What pleases the devil? Thirdly, What best pleases the world? and lastly, What best pleases me?" "Well," says Ben, directly- [; "God is best pleased when man forsakes his sin; The devil's best pleased when man persists therein The world's best pleased when you do draw good wine; And you'll be best pleased when I pay for mine.” The vintner was so well pleased with this im- promptu that he gave Ben a receipt in full for his debt, and treated him with a bottle into the bargain. BEER. We believe it was the late learned John Smith, or if not Smith, it may have been Brown, who said that-Beer was not beer when it was a little tart, nor sweet when it was sour. Beer- continues our learned author S. or B., as the case may be—is like a modern comedy in five acts when it is flat, a fish that's long out of water when it is stale, and unprofitable when it runs to waste; it's like a promising youth when it's sharp, is esteemed clever when it has a good head, and may be called upon to deliver messages when it is porter, and likely to cause a general mourning when it is dead; it will dance when it is hoppy, and be fully occupied when it is working; it is not to be found when it has gone off; is like a very cold morning when it is bitter, or your mother-in-law when it is old and bitter too; gentle when mild, rampant when strong; but half-and-half when married, and weak when single; AND SAYINGS. 73 is like a truck when it's drawn, and considered to be out of bed when it's up, and down when it's drunk; gone when swallowed, and like the National Debt when not paid for. BEER CONSUMPTION.-There are 728,000,000 gallons of beer consumed annually in England. In Germany the number of gallons is 146,000,000 of beer, and 121,500,000 of wine. Frenchmen drink every year 51,800,000 gallons of beer, and 600,000,000 of wine. In the United States the annual consumption of beer is 297,000,000 gallons, and 22,000,000 of wine, and 73,000,000 of distilled spirits. The value of all this liquor represents 2,000,000,000 dols., and the amount of capital invested in its production amounts to 2,000,000,000 dols. more. BEVER.-A "drink" between meals (Italian, bevere, to drink-our beverage; Latin, bibere— our im-bibe). At Eton they have "Bever days,' when extra beer is served to the students. "He will devour three breakfasts . . . . without prejudice to his bevers." — BEAUMONT and FLETCHER, Woman-Hater, i. 3. BIBLE.-The Bible, with its various combina- tions, as The Bible and Crown, Dial, Dove, Harp, Key, Lamb, Sun, Sceptre, &c., was formerly a common sign for booksellers. There was also a public-house in Shire Lane, Temple Bar, of the · 74 TAVERN ANECDOTES sign of The Bible. It was an old-established house of call for printers. In the Beaufoy Collection of tokens, in the Corporation Library of London, is one of "C. S. T. [VNS], at the THREE BIBLES on LONDON BRIDGE." Tokens issued by book- sellers are of the utmost variety. The Wise Merchant, or the Peerless Pearl, by Thomas Cal- vert, was printed for Charles Tyns, dwelling at the Three Bibles on London Bridge, 1660. The Three Bibles are in a charge in the arms of the Stationers' Company. BLACK BOY was first adopted as a sign by the sellers of tobacco, when it was usual to place a tobacco-leaf in his right hand, and a roll of tobacco. under his left arm. Dr. Johnson, in a letter dated 31st of March, 1741, incidentally mentions that he had recently "removed to the Black Boy, in the Strand, over against Durham Yard." Whetstone, a man of some wealth, and, as his trade token-a negro boy-shows, a tobacconist, lived on the south side of Holborn, near the Turnstile, served the office of overseer of St. Giles'-in-the-Fields, in 1655. After the Restoration, he was the builder of several houses at the east end, between New- man's Row, and the north side of Lincoln's Inn Fields and Holbórn. Several persons adopting the same purpose, covered the site westward to Gate Street with other houses, and the whole obtained from the originator, the name yet retained, of Whetstone's Park. The scene of every vice; AND SAYINGS. 75 Dryden, Butler, and other writers have recorded of its early history in indelible disgrace- "And makes a brothel of a palace, Where harlots ply, as many tell us, Like brimstones in a Whetstone alehouse." BUTLER. "Near Holborn lies a Park of great renown, The place I do suppose is not unknown, For brevity's sake the name I shall not tell, Because most genteel readers know it well." It was long notorious, and was attacked, on ac- count of its great immorality, by the London apprentices in 1682. Since 1708, however, it has chiefly consisted of stables. BLACK JACK.-The Black Jack was formerly a frequent sign. But one only remains, in Portsmouth Street, Lincoln's Inn Fields. It was frequently the theme of laudatory rhymes- "No tankard, flaggon, bottle, or jug, Are half so good, or so well can hold tug ; For when they are broken, or full of cracks, Then must they fly to the brave black jacks. Chorus: And I wish his heirs may never want sack That first invented the bonny Black Jack.” Heywood, describing the vessels in use at ale- houses and taverns, says, “other bottles we have of leather, but they are most used by shepherds and harvest people of the country. Small jacks we have in many alehouses of the city and suburbs, tipp'd with silver, besides the great black jacks and bombards at the court, which, when the Frenchmen 76 TAVERN ANECDOTES first saw, they reported at their return into their country, the Englishmen used to drink out of their boots." "Black Jack" is now a common name for a railway engine. "Although the engine smoke be black, If you walk in I've ale like sack !" THE BLIND BEGGAR OF BETHNAL GREEN. BLIND BEGGAR OF BETHNAL GREEN, as a sign of a public-house, will be found in the Whitechapel Road, London, and is founded on a popular Eliza- bethan ballad, named- "The rarest ballad that ever was seen, Of the Blind Beggar's Daughter of Bednal Green." AND SAYINGS. 77 BLOOD AND THUNDER.-Port wine and brandy mixed, formerly much drank by "swell coachmen," guards, and Oxonians, at Hatchet's, and the Gloucester Coffee-house, Piccadilly. BLOOD OF THE GRAPE.-Strong port wine. BLOSSOM'S INN, in Lawrence Lane, Cheapside, corruptly Bosom's Inn, hath to sign "St. Lawrence, the Deacon, in a border of blossoms or flowers,' which, says the legend, sprung up "on the spot of his cruel martyrdom." This was one of the inns hired for the retinue of Charles V., on his visit to London in 1522, "when XX beddes and a stable for LX horses were ordered." BLOW FOR BLOW.-A publican accustomed to the unseemly practice of blowing the froth off a pot of porter, on bringing one to a customer, received what is classically termed "a dowse in the chops." On Mr. Boniface's demanding a reason for such a compliment, he was answered, "that he had only received blow for blow." BLUE ANCHORITES. The frequenters of a public-house in Wormwood Street, Bishopsgate Street. BLUE DEVILS, or BLUES.-Melancholy, or low spirits; the miserable sensations and nervous apprehensions of a hypochondriac. The Blue 78 TAVERN ANECDOTES Devils generally follow in the wake of Blue Ruin & Co. "He spent last night with Sergeant Lush- ington, and, of course, cannot be surprised at finding himself enrolled among the Blues this morning." He drank hard last night, and now suffers for his folly. BLUE RUIN.-Gin. Called blue from its tint, and ruin from its effects. Gin is also called Blue Ribbon. BLUE SIGNS.-At Grantham, in Lincolnshire, from the eccentricity of the Lord of the Manor, who formerly possessed the majority of the houses in the town, the following inns have the word "blue" attached to their signs-viz., Blue Boat, Blue Sheep, Blue Bull, Blue Ram, Blue Lion, Blue Bell, Blue Cow, Blue Boar, Blue Horse, Blue Inn. By way of completing this "blue" catalogue, a wag, whose house belonged to himself, and who resided near the residence of his lordship, actually had the Blue Ass placed on his sign. There is a whole regiment of blues to be found in the way of signs in every city, borough, and village in Great Britain; and nothing seems to be too absurd to connect with or to paint blue, from a mouse to an elephant. BLUE POSTS.-A post, says a lexicographer, is a piece of timber set upright. Now posts, like cats, are of various colours, and tavern-keepers, to AND SAYINGS. 79 render their places of business attractive, were in the habit of painting their door-posts a particular colour; whence the origin of the well-known Blue Posts in Holborn. In the seventeenth century a custom prevailed of erecting two ornamental posts beside the gates of chief magistrates. This feature of old municipal usage is often alluded to by the contemporary dramatists. Thus, in Lingua; or, a Combat of the Tongue and the Five Senses for Superiority: a Pleasant Comedie, 1607, at act ii. sc. 3, occurs the following passage— Communis Sensus. Crave my council, tell me what manner of man is he? Can he entertain a man into his house? Can he hold his velvet cap in one hand, and vail* his bonnet with the other? Knows he how to become a scarlet gown? Hath he a pair of fresh posts at his door?† Phantastes. He's about some hasty State matters; he talks of posts, methinks. Communis. Can he part a couple of dogs brawl- ing in the street? Why, then, choose him mayor. Upon my credit, he'll prove a wise officer. In Beaumont and Fletcher's play of The Widow is the following passage- "I'll love your door the better while I know it." Widow. A pair of such brothers were fitter for posts without door, indeed, to make a show at a * i.e., Doff it in salutation. † Alluding to the office cf sheriff. 80 TAVERN ANECDOTES new-chosen magistrate's gate, than to be used in a woman's chamber. Similar posts were erected at the sheriff's gate, and used for the display of proclamations. In Rowley's play of A Woman Never Vexcd, 1632, a character says: "If e'er I live to see the Sheriff of London I'll gild my posts.” A trace of this old custom is still to be found in Edinburgh, where it is a rule that a pair of gilded lamp-posts are always erected before the door of the Lord Provost. BOAR'S HEAD TAVERN, EASTCHEAP.—A cele- brated tavern, commemorated by Shakspeare, destroyed in the Great Fire, rebuilt immediately after, and finally demolished, to allow for the new London Bridge approaches, in 1831. The sign- stone, a boar's head cut in stone, with the initials. of the landlord, I.T., and the date, 1668, is now in Guildhall library. At the time of its demolition it was occupied by a gunsmith. The statue of William IV. nearly marks the site. BOB-A-NOB.—A shilling a head. "A bob-a-nob and nix for the buffer." A shilling apiece for your dinners, and we will charge nothing for the dog. BOLT-IN-TUN.-There is a well-known inn so named in Fleet Street, London. The representa- tion of this sign is an arrow entering a barrel or hogshead, by the bunghole, apparently shot from a AND SAYINGS. 81 bow at this instead of a target. Bolt was an old name for the arrow, and ton, or tun, a common term for a pipe of wine; hence the name of Vint- ners, or Vintonners, the title of the company of Vintners in the City of London. The Bolt-in-Tun -or Ton-was simply the device of Bolton, one of the priors of St. Bartholomew; and since adopted by others of the name as a punning crest. "Wide, quoth Bolton, when his bolt flew backwards," is an old proverb. We have also, "A fool's bolt is soon. shot." "I'll make a shaft or a bolt on't."-SHAK- SPEARE. From BONIFACE.-A stout, good-tempered, jolly, John Bull-like landlord, "one of the olden time." Farquhar's comedy of The Beau's Stratagem. Aimwell. You're my landlord, I suppose? Boniface. Yes, Sir, I'm old Will Boniface; pretty well known upon this road, as the saying is. Aim. O, Mr. Boniface, your servant. Bon. O, Sir, what will your honour please to drink, as the saying is? Aim. I have heard your town of Lichfield much famed for ale; I think I'll taste that. Bon. Sir, I have now in my cellar ten tun of the best ale in Staffordshire; 'tis smooth as oil, sweet as milk, clear as amber, and strong as brandy, and will be just fourteen years old the fifth day of next March, old style. Ꮐ 82 TAVERN ANECDOTES Aim. You are very exact, I find, in the age of your ale. Bon. As punctual, Sir, as I am in the age of my children: I'll show you such ale. Here, tapster, broach number 1706, as the saying is. Sir, you shall taste my anno domino. I have lived in Lich- field, man and boy, above eight-and-fifty years, and, I believe, have not consumed eight-and-fifty ounces of meat. Aim. At a meal, you mean, if one may guess your sense by your bulk. Bon. Not in my life, Sir; I have fed purely upon ale; 1 have eat my ale, drank my ale, and I always sleep upon my ale. Now, Sir, you shall see [filling it out]. Your worship's health. Ha! delicious- fancy it Burgundy: only fancy it, and 'tis worth ten shillings a quart. Aim. [drinks]. 'Tis confounded strong. Bon. Strong! it must be so, or how would we be strong that drink it? Aim. And have you lived so long upon this ale, landlord? Bon. Eight-and-fifty years, upon my credit, Sir; but it killed my wife, poor woman! as the saying is. Aim. How came that to pass? Bon. I don't know how, Sir; she would not let the ale take its natural course, Sir; she was for qualify- ing it every now and then with a dram, as the AND SAYINGS. 83 saying is; and an honest gentleman, that came this way from Ireland, made her a present of a dozen bottles of usquebaugh-but the poor woman was never well after; but, however, I was obliged to the gentleman, you know. She's happy, and I am contented, as the saying is. BOOTS. To be in his boots. To be very tipsy. (Welsh, bozi, pron. boot-zi, to be saturated with liquor.) "What boots it thee to call thyself a sun."-SHAKSPEARE. (Russian, busa, Boozy. Partly intoxicated. millet-beer; medical Latin, buza from buo, to fill; Welsh, bozi; Old Dutch, buyzen, to tipple.) "In Egypt there is a beer called 'boozer,' which is in- toxicating.”—Morning Chronicle, Aug. 27, 1852. BOTTLE CIRCULATING QUICKLY.-At a dinner party, of which Hugh Boyd was one, the company, having drank rather too freely, came to high words, and one threw a decanter at the head of a person, which Hugh parried off very dexterously with his hand, observing at the same time, "That if the bottle should continue to fly about so rapidly, not one of them would be able to keep it up for the evening." BOTTLED ALE.-Alexander Newell, Dean of St. Paul's, and Master of Westminster School, in the reign of Queen Mary, was an excellent angler G 2 84 TÅVERN ANECDOTES But (says Fuller) while Newell was catching of fishes, Bishop Bonner was catching of Newell, and would certainly have sent him to the shambles, had not a good London merchant conveyed him away upon the seas. Newell was fishing upon the banks of the Thames when he received the first intima- tion of his danger, which was so pressing that he dare not go back to his own house to make any preparation for his flight. Like an honest angler, he had taken with him provision for the day; and when, in the first year of England's deliverance, he returned to his country and his old haunts, he remembered that, on the day of his flight, he had left a bottle of beer in a safe place on the bank; there he looked for it, and "found it no bottle, but a gun-such the sound at the opening thereof; and this (says Fuller) is believed (casualty is mother of more invention than industry) the origin of bottled ale in England." BOUGH-HOUSES. - Private houses which, by ancient custom, are permitted to sell ale, beer, and other refreshments during the time of country fairs. Holly-bushes and other boughs are stuck over the doors, as signs of the entertainment within.-See Bush. BOWLS.-An old English game. "Madam, we'll play at bowles."-Shakspeare. Those who play at bowls will meet with rubbers. That is, those AND SAYINGS. 85 engaged in any contest must expect to lose, or be at times damaged or worsted. BOX HARRY.-To have dinner and tea as one meal. BRANDY is well named. Brandy drinkers ever show red eyes. It should be written brand-eye. BRECKNOCK ARMS TAVERN.-This well-known house is celebrated as the spot where the venue of many of the best matches at single-stick, wrestling, &c., come off. It stands in Camden Road, on the very edge of the parish in that division, and is a handsome building with gardens by the side. It obtained considerable notoriety at a time when it stood alone in the road, from the fatal duel between Lieut.-Col. Fawcett and Lieut. Munroe, in which Lieut.-Col. Fawcett was killed. This duel excited more than usual atten- tion, and numbers of persons came from all parts. to see the house in which he had died. BREW.—Brew me a glass of grog, i.e., mix one for me. Brew me a cup of tea, i.e., make one for me. The tea is set to brew, i.c., to draw. The general meaning of the word is to boil or mix, the restricted meaning is to make malt liquor. (Saxon, briwan, to make broth; Danish, brouwen, to mix; Welsh, berw, a boiling.) 86 TAVERN ANECDOTES BREWERS.- "The only fair traders in London that are, Are those that brew beer for the table; They tell us they'll give us small beer for our fare, And they brew it as small as they're able." BRIEF ABSTINENCE.-A bon vivant being ob- served by a friend, who had not seen him for a long time, to be downcast in his countenance, and very unlike himself, was asked whether anything serious had befallen him. "Nothing of the sort," was his reply; "but I am quite an altered cha- racter. I have left off drinking." "Indeed!" replied his friend, rather astounded at the asser- tion; "and since when?" "Since two o'clock this morning," was the facete reply; the speaker's countenance recovering its usual cast of good- humour and mirth. BRISTOL MILK.-Sherry wine, which at one time was much drank in that city, particularly in the morning. BRITISH CHAMPAGNE.-Bottled ale or porter, but properly gooseberry wine, it being a notorious fact that millions of bottles of that homely but pleasant beverage are annually sold in these kingdoms for the wines of Champagne. BROWN.-"In short, gentlemen," said Brown, AND SAYINGS. 87 in returning thanks, after his health had been drunk, "I can only say that I wish I had a window in my bosom, that you might see the emotion of my heart." Robinson whispered across the table to him, "Wont a pane in your stomach do as well?” BROWN COW.--Over the sign of the Brown Cow was written- "This cow gives good liquor, BULL.-The 'Twould puzzle a vicar." Bull. Probably, next to The Bush, the most ancient class of existing signs is that which is believed to have arisen in chivalric times, and to have originally had a heraldic meaning. Such are the Golden Griffin, the Green Lion, the Black Swan, and the Blue Boar, which were nothing more than a griffin or, a lion vert, a swan sable, and a boar azure, being doubt- less the armorial bearings of certain persons of distinction, under whose protection, or on whose land, the houses were erected. Servants of noble persons, setting up houses of entertainment, would be. .apt, moreover, as they are at this day, to put up the arms of their former masters as their signs. The same system still prevails in every part of the kingdom, and an attentive traveller, who is con- versant with heraldry, may know what iamilies are the principal proprietors of the estates over which he passes, without asking the question. 88 TAVERN ANECDOTES Thus, in North Wales, the upright hand and the eagles will inform him whether he is upon the territories of the Myddletons or the Wynnes. The Eagles and Child, commonly called in Lancashire the Bird and Baby, serve in like manner to point out the estates of the Earl of Derby, who bears that device for his crest. Originally, perhaps, signs of this class would be properly blazoned; but, on being repainted in after times, when the sentiment under which they were raised had passed away or waxed dim, the heraldic niceties would be omitted by a careless or ignorant painter. Still some of the heraldic peculiarities are preserved in certain instances, as the white hart with a gold chain, which was the cognisance of King Richard II., and the white swan with a duke's coronet round its neck, which was that of Henry IV. Heraldic signs were, probably, the means of setting a fashion for those animal devices which exist in such great numbers to this day. It is easy to imagine how the red lion, originally set up as the arms of the Kingdom of Scotland, might suggest, in a rural district, the Black Bull, which was an early badge of the house. of Clare or Clarence, from which family the line of York derived their right to the throne. It was the badge borne by King Edward the Fourth, and being a well-known object was likely to be a favourite one with the honest rustics frequenting the house. The Blue Boar, which was the cog- AND SAYINGS. 89 nisance of Richard III., might in like manner give the hint for those numberless hogs in armour which once flourished throughout merry England. Fancy would come readily to suggest new devices, appropriate or inappropriate; and when once the hen and chickens, or the bay horse, or the dun cow, had been fixed upon an inn which ex- perienced prosperity, the repetition of the same devices upon other houses would be sure to take place. As a public-house sign, Bulls are of all colours, and go in company with a Bedpost, a Bell, a Bitch, a Chain, a Dog, a Gate, a Magpie, an Oak, a Stirrup, a Swan, and placed in the Pound. On the Bull inn at Buckland, near Dover, was- "The Bull is tame, so fear him not, All the while you pay your shot; When money's gone, and credit's bad, It's that which makes the bull run mad.” Bull and Gate, Bull and Mouth, were corruptions. of Boulogne Gate or Mouth, adopted out of com- pliment to Henry VIII., who took Boulogne in 1544. Near Hever Castle, where Henry VIII. wooed Anne Boleyn, there is to this day a public- house sign, exhibiting the lineaments of bluff King Hal; but the population around, from time immemorial, have always called it the Bull and Butcher, intending, no doubt, the Boleyn Butcher. BULL THE CASK.-To pour hot water in 90 TAVERN ANECDOTES recently emptied spirit casks, for the purpose of extricating the remaining spirit. BUMPER is a word of remarkable origin. All good Catholics, once on a time, were in the habit of dedicating their first glass of wine after dinner to the health of their spiritual head, the Pope. They drank to him by the name of bon père, the good father, and made a point of doing justice to the toast. BUSH.-The Bush. In the olden times, when the good people of England were not so conversant with letters as at present, it was customary to hang out a sign without any inscription, the oldest of which was The Bush, usually consisting of a bunch of ivy fixed to a long pole, a custom derived from the Romans, to point out the place where a drop of the genuine juice might be had. A land- lord with a good cellar soon becomes known to the lovers of good liquor, and our worthy fore- fathers were not behind us in taste, for they could distinguish a house of this sort instinctively from another without looking out for a sign; hence originated the very old proverb, "Good wine needs no bush." CALVERT'S ENTIRE.-The 14th Foot, called Calvert from their colonel, Sir Harry Calvert (1806-1826), and entire, because three entire bat- talions were kept up for the good of Sir Harry, AND SAYINGS. 91 when adjutant-general. The term is, of course, a play on Calvert's malt liquor. Calvert's brewery has since merged into a limited liability company, trading under the name and style of "The City of London Brewery." "Where Calvert's butt, and Parson's black champagne, Regale the drabs and bloods of Drury Lane.” GOLDSMITH. CARDINAL'S CAP, or HAT, was first instituted in 1265, at the council of Lyons, by Pope Innocent the Fourth. The colour-blood-red-indicated that these men of peace should be ready to shed their blood in the service of God, and for the defence of the church. The Cardinal's Hat, or Cap, was at one time common as a sign in England. Simon Eyre, . draper, mayor of London in 1445-6, "gave the tavern called the Cardinal's Hat, in Lombard Street, with a tenement annexed on the east part of the tavern, and a mansion behind the east tene- ment, with an alley from Lombard Street to Corn- hill, and the appurtenances, all of which were by him new built, toward a brotherhood of Our Lady, in St. Mary Woolnoth's," Lombard Street, where he was buried in 1459. "Le Cardinale's Hat," a tenement belonging to the Brethren of the Cross, and the king's road, called "Grascherch Strete," are noticed as boundaries in a survey of lands and quit-rents belonging to London Bridge, in the fifteenth century. Harl. MS. 6016. The stews on the Bankside were, in 1506, inhibited by Henry 92 TAVERN ANECDOTES the Seventh, but a decreased number subse- quently permitted, till King Henry the Eighth, in 1546, suppressed them wholly. Stowe men- tions these allowed stew-houses as having "signs on their fronts towards the Thames, not hanged out, but painted on the walls, as a Boar's Head, the Cross Keys, the Gun, the Cardinal's Hat," and others, which he enumerates. Skelton, in his "Whye Come ye not to Courte?" a bitter invective on Wolsey, written about 1523, alludes to "the syne of the Cardinall Hat," being then closed, thus- "But at the naked stewes I understands howe that The syne of the Cardinall's Hat That inne s now shit up." It was also the sign of one of the stairs on the Bankside, the name of which is still preserved to that locality in Cardinal Cap Alley. CARVING AT TABLE.-A man asking another, whom he was about to help to chicken, whether he wished the leg or the wing, "It is a matter of per- fect indifference to me," said the other. "And in- finitely more so to me," replied the carver, laying down the knife and fork, and resuming his own dinner. CASE IS ALTERED.-"The Case is Altered," as a sign, generally alludes to some alteration in the affairs of the house, the landlord or the landlady, AND SAYINGS. 93 either "for better or worse." Thus, when a single woman keeping a beerhouse in Duke Street, Brighton, got married, the sign announced that "The Case is Altered." At other places it implies that the house is under new and better manage- ment. "The Case is Altered quoth Plowden," is an old and familiar proverb. CASTLE.-The Castle. As at the castles of the nobility the weary pilgrim formerly found food and shelter, it is natural that The Castle should at an early period have been adopted as a sign of "good entertainment for man and beast." Castle- signs are frequently combined with the name of some city or township, as Dover Castle, Warwick Castle, Lewes Castle, &c., and also with other matters, as a banner, an anchor, a falcon, together with a few "Castles in the Air!" In Deansgate, Manchester, under an artistic representation of Llangollen Castle is the following— "Near the above place in a vault, There is such liquor fixed, You'll say that water, hops, and malt, Were never better mixed." CAT AND FIDDLE, a public-house sign, is a cor- ruption either of the French Catherine la fidèle, wife of Czar Peter the Great of Russia; or of Caton le fidèle, meaning Caton, governor of Calais. CAT AND KITTENS.-A public-house sign, al- ·94 TAVERN ANECDOTES luding to the pewter-pots so called. Stealing these pots is termed "Cat and kitten sneaking." THE CATHERINE WHEEL-sometimes contracted to The Wheel is used for a sign to several public-houses, and is also given to a species of fire- works. Catherine, the Virgin and Martyr, was born, according to her legend, at Alexandria, and was of so wonderful a capacity, that having, soon after her conversion to Christianity, A.D. 305, disputed with fifty heathen philosophers, she not only van- quished them by the strength of her reasoning, but in the end converted them all to the true faith. For this offence, so heinous in the eyes of the Emperor Maxentius, that tyrant caused her in- stantly to be cast into prison, where the Empress and one of the principal generals, who visited her out of curiosity, were likewise converted by the irresistible power of her eloquence and learning, which was deemed so great an aggravation of her crime, that the Emperor not only condemned the Virgin Saint to a cruel death, but caused the fifty philosophers to be burnt alive. The Emperor Maxentius then ordered the saint to be tortured with four cutting wheels, in which were saws of iron, sharp nails, and sharp knives; the wheels turned one against another, and the saws, knives and nails met. Hence the Catherine wheel was formerly a very common sign, and adopted from its being the badge of the order of Knights of AND SAYINGS. 95 Saint Catherine of Mount Sinai, created anno 1063. These knights bound themselves by the most sacred oaths to guard the shrine of their. murdered saint, and keep the roads leading to it secure .of access. Their habits were white, in token of the spotless purity of their patroness, and were ornamented with a half wheel, armed with spikes, and traversed with a sword stained with blood to keep them in constant remembrance of the horrid death she was doomed to, and of the escape she experienced from such barbarity by the intervention of divine agency. CAUTION TO COCKNEY SPORTSMEN.-A publi- can on the Romford Road, who keeps the sign of the Three Partridges, put up a printed board under his sign, on the 1st of September, with the follow- ing notice- "Gemmen from London mind your eye, Nor at my birds take aim; For though mayhap you think they fly, I say they are dead game." CERTAINLY.-At most hotels the term waiters should be transferred from table servants to the guests on whom they attend. CHALK, A.-An advantage. Talk a chalk, the admitting of the advantage. In low public-houses it is usual for the habitués to keep the score of a game of cards or dominoes, &c., by means of 96 TAVERN ANECDOTES chalk marks, thus, | | | | | ; therefore when one of the parties gains an advantage, he takes a chalk by rubbing one out. CHALK FARM.-This house has been long known as a place of public entertainment, similar in cha- racter to the Adam and Eve and Bagnigge Wells. From its proximity to Hampstead, it was the usual resort of holiday folk on their return from the Heath. Being on the incline of Primrose Hill, the terrace on the front of the house was gene- rally crowded to inconvenience, the prospect being charming, and the air invigorating. Semi-thea- trical entertainments were at times provided for the visitors; while at other times balls, promenades, masquerades, and even prize-fighting and other brutal sports were offered for their amusement. These latter sports, singularly enough, were princi- pally the amusements for the Sunday. The fatal result of one such encounter, between John Stone and Joseph Parker, resulting in a severe investigation and ultimate verdict of manslaughter against Parker and the seconds on both sides, aided in a great measure to suppress this brutal exhibition. tavern obtained also a sad notoriety from the many fatal duels that took place on its grounds. The most noted was that between Colonel Mont- gomery and Captain Macnamara, in 1803, in which Colonel Montgomery was mortally wounded. He expired in a room of the tavern. Another fatal The AND SAYINGS. 97 duel was fought here, January 12th, 1818, when Lieutenant Bailey was mortally wounded, and expired soon afterwards. His opponent, Mr. O'Callaghan, fled the country. A third we may name took place between John Scott, Esq., and Mr. Christie, in March, 1821, in which Mr. Scott was killed.-Palmer's St. Pancras. CHALK UP.-To have credit at a public-house, where they usually chalk up the amount behind the door, or on a large slate kept for that purpose. CHAMPAGNE.-When the Russian army of in- vasion passed through Champagne, they took away six hundred thousand bottles from the cellars of M. Moet, of Epernay; but he considers himself a gainer by the loss, his orders from the north having been more than doubled since then. M. Moet's cellars are well deserving of inspection; he is always happy to do the honours to tourists, and, at parting, presents each with a bottle of the choicest wine. CHANGING HABITS.-At the agricultural dinner in December, 1828, a gentleman remarked that whisky had got to an enormous price; yet he was certain its great cost would not change the habits. of the tippler. "I beg your pardon," replied Judge Peters, "it will completely change their habits; for they will swap their clothes for it when their money is out." H 98 TAVERN ANECDOTES CHAPT.-Dry, thirsty. CHARGE YOUR GUNS.-Fill your glasses. CHEQUERS.—The Chequers, a common sign, formerly designated lattices, in common use among the Romans. They were used by the tavern, keepers at Pompeii, and have been found painted on their door-steads. Among the several attempts to explain the origin of the chequer as a tavern sign, is that it indicated that chess, draughts, and backgammon were played within. Another writer states that in early times a chequered board, the emblem of calculation, was hung out to indicate an office or place for changing money. Afterwards it was adopted as the sign of an hostelry or inn where strangers were lodged, entertained, found, and victuals sold; probably from the circumstance of innkeepers frequently following the trade of a money-changer-a custom still very common in seaport towns. The chequers, or azure, form one of the quarterings of the Howard family, col- laterally descended from the Warennes, Earls of Surrey, who had the grant of licensing public- houses; and it is conjectured that, as these were the armorial bearings of that family, this mark of distinction was attached to such houses in order to facilitate the collection of the duties and dues pay- able by the innkeeper for his licence, &c. But the former hypothesis appears to have greater proba- bility. AND SAYINGS. 99 1 CHOPS AND CUCUMBERS.-One day an epicure entering the Bedford Coffee-house, in Covent Garden, inquired, "What have you for dinner, John?""Anything you please, sir," replied the waiter. "Oh, but what vegetables?" The legumes in season were named; when the customer, having ordered two lamb chops, said, "John, have you any cucumbers ?" No, sir, we have none yet, as its very early in the season; but, if you please, I will step into the market and inquire if there are any." The waiter did so, and returned. "Why, "( sir, there are a few, but they are half a guinea apiece.” “Half a guinea apiece! are they small or large?" "Why, sir, they are rather small." “Then buy two." This anecdote has been related of various epicures; it occurred to Charles, Duke of Norfolk, who died in 1815. CITY TOASTING.-In the Attic Miscellany for October, 1790, is the following anecdote-viz. : "After a splendid dinner, one day last year, at the London Tavern, the chairman gave the usual toast of 'The Adelphi,' in allusion to the Royal brothers; when a certain knight who was present, when it came to his turn to give a toast, said with great gravity, 'Mr. Chairman, as we are giving public buildings, I'll give you my house at Taunton !'" CIVILITY ON SIGNBOARDS.-"I once saw," H 2 Un 100 TAVERN ANECDOTES says a writer in Willis's "Current Notes," "in Charleville, in the county of Cork, a sign which set forth that the proprietor of the concern was licensed to sell drink with civil usage." The latter commodity at Varese, in Italy, is expressed by cortesia, and obtains precedence of the grape- cortesia con buon vino. CLARET.-The wine so called does not receive its name from its colour, but the colour so called receives its name from the wine. The word means clarified wine (vinum claretum). What we called hippocras was called claretum, which was a liquor made of wine and honey clarified. CLERK-ALE AND CHURCH-ALE.—Mr. Douce says the word "ale" is used in such composite words as bride-ale, clerk-ale, church-ale, lamb-ale, Midsummer-ale, Scot-ale, Whitsun-ale, &c., for revel or feast, ale being the chief liquor given. "The multitude call (Church-ale Sunday) their revelyng day, which day is spent in bulbeatings, bearbeating, . . . dicyng, and drunken- ness.”—W. Kethe, 1570. See ALES, p. 20. COAL BRANDY.-Burnt brandy. The ancient way to set brandy on fire was to drop in it a live or red-hot coal. COCK.-The Cock, from the time of the Romans to the present Victorian era, has of itself and in innume- AND SAYINGS. 101 rable combinations with all kinds of heterogeneous objects, monopolized by far the greater number of signboards. Cock-fighting as a diversion was long a demoralizing but favourite pastime among the English, and so continued till it was wholly abolished by the 12th and 13th Victoria, cap. 32. Cock-throwing was one of the ancient amusements which was yet more cruel than cock-fighting, where a bird had a chance of escape; but the poor crea- ture thrown at, being fixed, had no such chance, but was tormented to death. This is now in dis- use, and men and boys now throw at a wooden one, or substitute the throwing a bludgeon at boxes, knives, oranges, &c., which is still styled "cock- shy." "Yer ye 're, my noble sportsmen, three sticks a penny!" The Cock and Bottle, as a public-house sign, means that draught and bottle liquors may be had on the premises. The "cock" here means the tap. Many publicans in the North have a more appropriate sign, which might be styled Cork and Bottle, being a representation of a brisk bottle of beer throwing the cork to a considerable height, and the strong beer flowing over the bottle. The far-famed tavern, The Cock, or Cock and Bottle, in Fleet Street, which is approached by a passage very near to Temple Bar, is one of the most primi- tive places of its kind. When the Great Plague was raging, the landlord shut up his house and retired into the country, leaving this notice :- "This is to certify that the master of the Cock and 102 TAVERN ANECDOTES # Bottle, commonly called the Cock Alehouse, at Temple Bar, hath dismissed his servants, and shut up his house, for this long vacation, intending (God willing) to return at Michaelmas next; so that all. persons whatsoever who may have any accounts with the said master, or farthings belonging to the said house, are desired to repair thither before the 8th of this instant, and they shall receive satisfac- tion." One or two of the farthings—a trade token -referred to in the above advertisement, are still extant. Pepys frequented this tavern. In his diary, 1668, we find, "Thence by water to the Temple, and there to the Cock Alehouse, and drank, and eat a lobster, and sang, and mightily merry." The tavern-which was a very favourite retreat of lawyers and law students in the last century—has still a large gilt sign over the passage door, stated to have been carved by Grinling Gibbons. The head-waiter of our time lives in the verse of Laureate Tennyson-" O plump head-waiter of the Cock!" COCK-AND-HEN CLUB.-A concert or free-and- easy to which women are admitted. COLLEGE PORT.-The worst species of red wine that can be manufactured, and palmed off upon young men at college. It is chiefly made from potatoes, sloes, and logwood. "We all know what college port is like.”—The Times. AND SAYINGS. 103 COMET WINE.-A term of praise to signify wine of superior quality. A notion prevails that the grapes in comet years are better in flavour than in other years, either because the weather is warmer and ripens them better, or because the comets themselves exercise some chemical influ- ence on them. Thus, wine of the years 1811, 1826, 1839, 1845, 1852, 1858, 1861, &c., have a re- pute. "The old gentleman yet nurses some few bottles of the famous comet year (ie., 1811), emphatically called comet wine."-The Times. [As "a word is enough to the wise," let those of our readers who can't come it so strong as to indulge in 1811, but who can manage to put up with a bottle or two of '58, take themselves and their walnuts to the Black Lion Inn, Patcham, near Brighton. In vino veritas.-ED.] (( "CORN BREAD?" said the Irish waiter; we haven't got it; an' is it corn bafe (beef) ye mane ?" COMPLIMENTARY.-A gentleman, dining at an hotel, was annoyed by a stupid waiter continually coming hovering round the table, and desired him to retire. "Excuse me, sir," said Napkin, drawing himself up, "but I'm responsible for the silver." COOLER, A.-Ale or beer after drinking spirits; also to be upset in the river; a skater in six feet of water; likewise twelve months on the treadmill. 104 TAVERN ANECDOTES COOPER.Half stout and half porter. The term arises from the practice at breweries of allowing the coopers a daily portion of stout and porter. As they do not like to drink porter after stout, they mix the two together. CORK.-A beershop keeper, in contradistinction to BUNG, a publican. CORKS, money; because they will keep any one afloat. CORNED.-Intoxicated, from indulging in too much malt liquor, or barley bree. CORK AND THE BOTTLE.-We have lately been reading of some person who was killed by a cork which struck him in the eye when drawing it. But if the cork has killed its one man, consider how •many thousands and tens of thousands the bottle has killed without a word being said about it! COPUS.-A drink made of beer, wine, and spice heated together, and served in a "loving cup." Dog Latin for cupellon Hippocratis (a cup of hippocras). COVENT GARDEN TAVERNS AND COFFEE HOUSES. To recount the various reminiscences of all the taverns and coffee-houses around Covent Garden would require a volume. From the days when this place was first built on until our own these taverns have been the chief resort of the "men about town;" of playwrights, tragedians, comedians, painters, clowns, dashing wits, poets, AND SAYINGS. 105 • critics, literary hacks, and men of pleasure. The reminiscence of the landlord of one of them, the Bedford, will be found of interest, from the cele- brity of the names to which they refer. Mr. Stacie, who had kept the Bedford Arms, or been connected with it, for more than fifty years, related to Mr. J. T. Smith-"Rainy-day Smith," and author of "The Streets of London"-that John and Henry Fielding, Hogarth, Churchill, Lloyd, and Oliver Goldsmith held a gossiping shilling- rubber club in the parlour of the Bedford, when Mr. Stacie kept it. Henry Fielding was described. by Stacie as "a very merry fellow indeed," and Churchill as "a stupid looking man." The latter was doubtless true enough, for Charles Churchill, ex-parson and ex-gentleman, had by this time become a confirmed rake and drunkard, which no man can be long without bearing the mark of the beast upon his face. It was at one of these whist meetings that Churchill quarrelled with Hogarth, and used very insulting language towards him. Churchill, swollen with pride-for his foolish admirers had told him that he exceeded Pope in poetry, though Johnson, more just in his estimate of his powers, publicly called him a "very shallow fellow "-perpetuated the quarrel by his cruel and unmanly "Epistle to William Hogarth," in which he sneered at the artist's works, at his life, at his wife, at his avarice, at his age, at his infirmities, dubbed him "dotard," and 106 TAVERN ANECDOTES bade him "retire to his closet," and further repre- sented him as a man to whom in others "Genius and merit were a sure offence, And whose soul sicken'd at the name of sense." Hogarth, who at the time had passed his sixty- third year, yet was no dotard, had his revenge INLOVE SUO. He looked up an old copper-plate, blocked out a portrait of himself, with his favourite, and now immortalized, dog, "Trump," by his side (vide portrait in South Kensington Museum), slightly altered Trump, and for his own effigy substituted a caricature of Churchill as the Bruiser or Russian Hercules-in other words, as a slaverling, growling bear, with the torn canoni- cals of a clergyman, a pot of porter by his side, and a great ragged staff in his paw-each knot inscribed with "lye." This satire was a good knock-down blow-a hit straight from the shoulder, and not a stab in the dark with a poisoned dagger as Churchill's epistle was. But. for the time Hogarth had the worst of the controversy. His foes were younger and active, and the mob were on their side. Churchill's epistle is undoubtedly as clever as it is wicked; but has it aught but a galvanized existence now? and is not every touch of William Hogarth living vigorous, vascular, to this day?* Among other frequenters of the Bedford was Shuter, the * Sala's "William Hogarth." AND SAYINGS. 107 (( comedian, but he came less often than those above named. He preferred low alehouses. In the early part of Mr. Stacie's career there was a tavern in Covent Garden, kept by a woman called Moll King. She was very witty, and her house was much frequented, though it was little better than a shed. Noblemen and the first beaux," said garrulous Mr. Stacie, "after leaving Court would go to her house in full dress, with swords and bags, and rich brocaded silk coats, and walked and conversed with persons of every description. Moll would serve chimney-sweepers, gardeners, and the market people, in common with her lords of the highest rank. Mr. Apreece, a tall thin man, in rich dress, was her constant customer. He was called Cadwallader by the frequenters of Moll's." But the old coffee-houses. of Great Russell Street and Bow Street now claim our attention. For who can forget that in the former were Tom's and Button's? And that in Bow Street was Will's, the grand resort of Dryden and the wits of his day? At Tom's, in 1764, a club of nearly 700 members was formed by a guinea subscription. Here assembled Dr. Johnson, Garrick, Murphy, Dr. Dodd, Dr. Goldsmith, Sir Joshua Reynolds, Foote, Moody, Beard, Count Bruhl, Dr. Macnamara, Sir Philip Frances, George Colman the elder, the Dukes of Northumber- land and Montague, the Marquises of Granby and Monthermor, Admiral Lord Rodney, Sir 108 TAVERN ANECDOTES Thomas Robinson, Henry Brougham, Esq. (father of Lord Brougham), Dr. Kennedy, George Steevens, Warner, William Bowyer the printer, &c. &c. Many a noted name in the subscription-books—still existing—is very sugges- tive of the gay society of the period. Among the club musters Samuel Foote, Sir Thomas Robinson, and Dr. Dodd are very frequent; indeed, Sir Thomas seems to have been some- thing like a proposer-general. Tom's continued as a coffee-house till 1814, when it closed, and the premises were occupied by Mr. William Till, the numismatist. On the death of Mr. Till, Mr. Webster succeeded to the tenancy and collection of coins and medals, which he removed to No. 6, Henrietta Street, shortly before the old premises in Russell Street were taken down. Button's coffee-house is spoken of in the Guardian as "over against Tom's, in Covent Garden." Addi- son was the great patron of this house, and by his influence it became the chief resort of the literary Whigs of that day, as Will's was of the literary Tories. Button was once servant to Lady Warwick, with whom Addison contracted so dig- nified but uncomfortable a marriage, and though at first but a waiter in the house, it was always known by his name. In the 114th number of the Guardian, it is mentioned that a lion's head was set up at Button's-"a proper emblem of know- ·ledge and action, being all head and paws "—for AND SAYINGS. 109 the reception of the Guardian's correspondence. After Addison's death, the prosperity of Button began to wane, and a few years afterwards his name appeared in the books of St. Paul's, Covent Garden, as receiving an allowance from the parish. The memorable lion's head was tolerably well carved; through the mouth the letters were dropped into a till at Button's; and beneath were inscribed these two lines from Martial- "Cervantur magnis isti Cervicibus ungues ; Non nisi delictâ pascitur ille ferâ." The head was designed by Hogarth, and is etched in Ireland's "Illustrations." Lord Chesterfield is said to have once offered for the head fifty guineas. From Button's it was removed to the Shakspeare's Head Tavern, under the Piazza, kept by a person named Tomkyns; and in 1751 was, for a short time, placed in the Bedford coffee-house imme- diately adjoining the Shakspeare, and there em- ployed as a letter-box by Dr. John Hill, for his Inspector. In 1769 Tomkyns was succeeded by his waiter, Campbell, as proprietor of the tavern and the lion's head, and by him the latter was retained until November 8th, 1804, when it was purchased by Mr. Charles Richardson, of Richard- - son's Hotel, for 177. 10s., who also possessed the original sign of the Shakspeare's Head. After Mr. Richardson's death, in 1827, the lion's head devolved to his son, of whom it was bought by } 110 TAVERN ANECDOTES = * the Duke of Bedford, and deposited at Woburn Abbey, where it still remains. Among other well- known wits who made Button's their head- quarters, must be mentioned Pope, Ambrose Phillips, Colley Cibber, Swift, Steele, Arbuthnot, Savage, Eustace Budgell, Martin, Folkes, and Drs. Garth and Armstrong-both able physicians and pleasing poets. Will's coffee-house was the house on the north side of Russell Street, at the end of Bow Street-the corner house-now occu- pied as a ham and beef shop, and numbered 23. It was Dryden who made Will's the great resort of the wits of his time. Will's coffee-house was the open market of libels and lampoons, the latter named from the established burden formerly sung to them- "Lampone, lampone, camerada lampone." After Dryden's death, in 1701, Will's continued for about ten years to be still the wits' coffee- house, as we see by Ned Ward's account, and by that in the "Journey through England," in 1722. CREAM OF THE VALLEY.—Gin. CROSS CRIB, a public-house where thieves “most do congregate." CORNER PIN.-The Corner Pin, as a public- house sign, will be found at the corner of a street * John Timbs, "Clubs and Club Life in London.” AND SAYINGS. 111 in Goswell Street, London. The why or the wherefore we shall not attempt to unravel. It is written, “It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop than with a brawling woman in a wide house." In a humorous parody on Lover's pleasing ballad of the "Low-back Car," from the press of H. Disley, of High Street, St. Giles's, a worthy successor of the wide-world-known Catnach, we have- THE GIN-SHOP BAR. When first I saw Miss Bailey 'Twas on a Saturday, At the Corner Pin, she was drinking gin, And smoking a yard of clay; And when that pipe was emptied, She filled it with bacca again, Throw off her glass and shout, “Old lass! Let's have another drain !" As she stood at the gin-shop bar She'd sing, and she'd laugh ha! ha! While I've got the tin, I'll spend it in gin. So good luck to the gin-shop bar." Miss Bailey round the bar, sirs, Would send her glass of gin; She didn't care who drank with her, While she had got the tin. But where the rhino comes from, 'Twould puzzle queen or king; Un 112 TAVERN ANECDOTES All I can say she used to pay, Would this lushy girl I sing, As she sat at the gin-shop bar, Singing, "Fal la de ral la, I don't care a pin, While I've got the tin, It shall go at the gin-shop bar." I'd rather be outside, sirs, Than with that motley throng; For she kept on annoying me, And coming it rather strong. Till she fell off her perch, sirs, A sprawling on the floor, And loudly shouts, "My glass is out, "Let's have a toothful more." But the man at the gin-shop bar, Said, “the Bobby, he is not far;" Who quickly did fetch her, Then off on a stretcher, She went from the gin-shop bar. Next morning a government car Took her to the police bar: She was heard to say, As they bore her away, “I takes after my own mamma.” CRACK A BOTTLE-i.e., drink one. The allu- sion is to the mischievous pranks of the drunken frolics of times gone by, when the bottles and glasses were broken during the bout. 'Miss Old- AND SAYINGS. 113 buck" says, in reference to the same custom, “We never were glass breakers in this house, Mr. Lovel” (Antiquary); meaning they were not bottle-crackers, or given to drunken orgies. "Dear Tom, this brown jug that now foams with mild ale From which I now drink to sweet Nan of the Vale, Was once Toby Filpot's, a thirsty old soul As e'er cracked a bottle or fathomed a bowl." O'KEEFE, Poor Soldier. CRADLE.-The Cradle and the Coffin, or First and Last, was formerly a sign in Norwich, and one can still be seen on the South Quay, Yarmouth. CROSS.- The Cross has naturally been made the emblem of our Christian faith from the earliest ages of Christianity. It has adorned our cathe- drals, churches, or chapels, and other places devoted to religion, and was adopted in former times by various professions, and amongst others by the keepers of inns for the accommodation of pilgrims, who would, most likely, prefer sojourning at a house bearing so distinguishing a mark of Christianity. In these latter times there are many who exhibit this sign without any other intention than merely to distinguish one particular house from another. CROSS KEYS.—The Crossed Keys, or keys in saltier, is a very common bearing in the insignia of sees and religious houses, more especially those I 114 TAVERN ANECDOTES that pretend to be under the patronage of St. Peter, the patron saint of the Romish Church. CROSSED SHOVELS.-Malsters used the crossed shovels as a sign. CROSSED TOBACCO PIPES is an old sign of the tobacconists. The Puritans appear to have been as great whiffers as the Royalists, and the preva- lence of smoking excited the holy vengeance of Hugh Peters, who, in one of his admonitory sermons, exhorted his congregation to "beware beloved, of three mischievous Ws-wine, women, and tobacco. But you will object, tobacco is no W you will say; to which I answer, tobacco must be understood under the notion of weed! and then it holds right." CROWN. To understand the following it is necessary to read the lines across, taking up the word CROWN on the way, thus-"Come, my lads, and Crown your wishes," and so on to the end. Come, my lads, and With glee come Come to the Spend each a Drink to the Which friendly Let this motto Long last the May you have a I'll give you a your wishes, your greatest joys; and drink like fishes, my jovial boys. of England's glory, s her increase. each story, that keeps the peace! o- day and no sorrow this time to-morrow. The Crown is one of the oldest of English signs. AND SAYINGS. 115 In 1246 there was an inn, or hostelry, with this sign, at the east end of Crown Field, an open space in Cheapside, so called after it. This emblem and ornament of royalty has been adopted by many besides innkeepers, and varied, in several modes of arrangement, with other articles relating to busi- ness, as the Bible and Crown for the Church and State, &c. CROWN AND ANCHOR.-The association of the navy with the Crown is natural. The most cele- brated house with this sign was in the Strand, and famous for the meetings of modern reformers. Among the public characters who have occasionally "held forth" here, for the public good, none are more distinguished for manly independence and general consistency than the late Sir Francis Burdett. With the CROWN, as a sign, we have an almost endless variety of more or less appropriate things, and a vast number of very inappropriate absurdities. Kelly's Post Office Directory for 1875 makes mention of A CROWN and— Anchor. Cushion. Shuttle. Anvil. Dolphin. Shears. Apple Tree. Grapes. Six Cans. Can. Horseshoes. Castle. Leek. Coopers' Arms. Sceptre. Crooked Billet. Seven Stars. Sugar Loaf. Thistle. Two Chairmen. Woolpack. I 2 116 TAVERN ANECDOTES In addition to which there are seventy (70) CROWNS as ARMS, INNS, or TAVERNS. CRUSTED PORT.-When port is first bottled its fermentation is not complete; in time it precipi- tates alcohol on the sides of the bottle, where it forms a crust. Crusted port, therefore, is port which has completed its fermentation. CUTTING JOKE.-On the health of the "Master and Wardens of the Cutlers' Company" being drunk, a wag whispered to the band, who had played appropriate tunes to the other toasts, to play "Terry, heigho, the grinder !" which was done. DAGGER.—The Dagger was once common in London; one in Holborn is referred to by Ben Jonson in his "Alchymist”. "My lawyer's clerk I lighted on last night, In Holborn at the Dagger." There was a Dagger in Cheap mentioned in the Penniless Parliament of Threadbare Poets, 1608— "let him meet me at the Dagger in Cheap." This Dagger was in repute for its pies, on which were embossed the representation of a dagger with a magpie on the point. Dagger-pies are frequently mentioned by the dramatists of that period. DEAD MEN.—Empty bottles. Down among the dead men let me lie. Let me get so intoxi- cated as to slip from my chair, and lie under the AND SAYINGS. 117 table with the empty bottles. The expression is a witticism on the word spirit. Spirit means life, and also alcohol (the spirit of full bottles); when the spirit is out the man is dead, and when the bottle is empty its spirit is departed. DEAN SWIFT was wont to stop at roadside public-houses, when on his pedestrian tours. While at one, known by the sign of the Three Crosses, between Dunchurch and Daventry (in allusion to three roads intersecting), he could not obtain the attention of the landlady to get him breakfast, who at last told him, "she must not leave her customers for such as he." Upon which the Dean took out his diamond, and wrote on a pane of glass- TO THE LANDLORD. There hang three crosses at thy door, Hang up thy wife, and she'll make four ! DEVIL'S BONES.-Dice, which are made of bones and lead to ruin. DEVIL'S BOOKS.-Playing-cards. A Presbyterian phrase, used in reproof of the term King's Books, applied to a pack of cards, from the French livre des quatre rois (the book of the four kings). DEVIL TAVERN.-The Devil Tavern occupied the ground which is now named Child's Place, immediately adjoining the Banking-house of 118 TAVERN ANECDOTES Messrs. Child, next Temple Bar. This tavern, which was well known to "Rare Ben Jonson," who has given a lasting reputation to the house, had for a sign the Devil, and St. Dunstan tweaking him by the nose with a pair of hot tongs. The notoriety of the Devil Tavern, as common in such cases, created an opponent on the opposite side of Fleet Street, named the Young [or Little] Devil, which adjoined Dick's Coffee-house. Ben Jonson, being one night at the Devil Tavern, a country gentleman in the company was obtrusively loqua- cious touching his lands and tenements. Ben, out of patience, exclaimed: "What signifies to us your dirt and your clods? Where you have an acre of land I have ten acres of wit." "Have you so,” retorted the countryman, "good Mr. Wise-acre?" "Why, how now, Ben," said one of the party, "you seem to be quite stung!" "I was never so pricked by a hobnail before,” grumbled Ben, who possessed an arrogant and overbearing spirit, unwilling to allow his contemporaries their due share of praise, or to bear a poetical brother near his throne. He was also a great lover and praiser of himself, and scorner of others; given rather to lose a friend than a jest, jealous of every word and action of those about him, especially after drink, which was one of the elements in which he lived.. DEW-DRINK.—A draught before breakfast. In harvest the men are allowed, in some counties, a AND SAYINGS. 119 drink of beer before they begin work. Dew-bit is a snack before breakfast. D. D., i.e., Dirty Dick, is the name of a small public-house, or rather a tap of a wholesale wine and spirit business, at 49, Bishopsgate Street Without, with an entrance up the passage to the cellars. Here dirt, eccentricity, and morality! are highly cultivated. The nasty-dirty-stinking- hole-of-a-place is without floor-boards, has a low ceiling, with cobweb festoons dangling from the black and time-worn rafters, an old pewter bar battered and dirty, floating with stale beer; un- merous gas-pipes, purposely made to look tied up anyhow, several old bill-files chokeful, and covered with the dust and flymarks of years; sample phials and labelled bottles of wines and spirits on shelves—and everything else covered with dust and cobweb, the whole presenting a beastly dirty appearance. Now, as all this dirtiness-as we have before observed-is cultivated, so the eccentricity. We have on high authority, that "Cleanliness is indeed next to Godliness." But here, in this beastly hole, they seem to imply that cleanliness of the mind and morals should be associated with dirt, judging from the following "Rules and Regu- lations" which are written up in conspicuous places- No. 1. No person to be served twice. No. 2. No person to be served if in the least in- toxicated. • 120 TAVERN ANECDOTES No. 3. No improper language permitted. No. 4. All articles sold are intended to be of the finest quality, if found otherwise, immediate com- plaint to the manager is requested. No. 5. Inconvenience occasionally arising from want of space, customers will greatly oblige by remembering the good old business maxim- "When you are in a place of business "Transact your business, "And go about your business.” Closed on Sundays, Christmas Day, and Good Friday. By order. The "No person to be served twice!" business is a very old dodge—so old as to be mentioned by that prolific writer, Thomas Dekker, or Decker, in the 16th chapter of his "English Villainies Seven Severall Times Prest to Death, &c., [1638].” "Then have you another Brewing call'd Huffs Ale, of which, because no man must have but a Pot at a sitting, and so be gone, the restraint makes them the more eager to come in; so that by this pollicy one man may Huffe it foure or five times a day." There was formerly-that is to say, before the houses on the east side of Holborn Hill were demolished to make way for the Holborn Viaduct and its surrounding improvements-a very renowned and regular slap-up London gin-shop, kept-if the memory of "my salad days, when I was green in judgment," deceive me not-by AND SAYINGS. 121 Thompson and Fearon, subsequently, as I am certain, by Fearon and Son-the style and title by which the modernized house, removed some- what further back, still carries on the wholesale and bottle trade only. This establishment, in the days. of when we are speaking of, had the good fortune to get the name for selling the "best drop of gin out,” and as a natural consequence, the ever-to-be-gulled British public flocked around from far and near, and a large trade was done from early morn to noon, from noon to dewy eve. And from here the rumour ran that no person would be served twice. There were always plenty of hangers-on to keep the conceit well alive, and to instruct Cockney novices in general, and young men from the country in particular, in the cunning how to "do" the "people behind the bar," after this fashion-" You see, sir, their gin is well known. to be the wery best in London, and the world; consequence is, sir, that people comes miles and miles to get a drop or two on it; yes, some on 'em comes as much as eight, nine, or ten mile, as I've heard say. Well, you see their gin is sup- posed to be so wery strong-by reason of its being double distilled and double proofed, or a summut of that sort: that to drink of it twice might do some mischief, and so to be well on the right side of the way they have been and got a Act of Parliament, or a summut of that sort, and they says as how they wont serve you twice. But me and my mates 122 TAVERN ANECDOTES here as likes a drop of good gin; seeing as how we are used to it, will, if you don't mind, show you there's two or three ways of doing 'em behind that 'ere bar, although they is so wery knowing. Can't we, Jack?" "I believe ye, my bo-u-o-y," replies Jack. "Well, sir, the first and foremost way is this; you can pop out of that 'ere door and then come in at that 'ere one, then let us-that's my mate Jack and me-stand all on one side whilst you walks up to the bar-don't take too much notice on 'em, but quietly say-roughing your voice just a bit, then say, 'A quartern of the wery best gin, please,' and I'll bet you another quartern you does 'em, and that they'll serve you twice, be- cause you see you are just the sort of wide-awake chap to do 'em brown as mustard." This line of conversational and flattering argument pleases the novice, and he determines to make the attempt to do the people behind the bar, as he has heard them so often called, and he finds that he succeeds to a miracle, as he obtains the quartern of gin just as easily as he obtained the first glass he ordered and paid for himself, and never dreaming of having or partaking of a second drink. The surreptitiously- obtained quartern of gin is immediately disposed of by the aid of a "three out" glass. Then say the habitués, “You have now got to get and pay for the other quartern of gin you lost." "Lost! how lost? I've lost no quartern of gin." "Yes you have." "How?" "Why, Jack here bet you a AND SAYINGS. 123 quartern of the wery best gin-same as we have been having before-that you would be sure to get served twice-don't you remember? He said, 'You try and get served twice, and I'll bet you a quartern of the wery best gin you does 'em, because you are such a wide-awake chap.' Don't you remember now? It's all as right as a trivet, and you have got to get another quartern. And look here, this time I bets you another quartern you does 'em again." And so they go on all the time the novice's money will last out, or that he suddenly find out that he is the party being "done" after all, and not the people behind the bar. The conceit for naming this place " Dirty Dick," arose from the once famous “dirty warehouse" kept early in the pre- sent century by an eccentric person, named Na- thaniel Bentley, living in Leadenhall Street, and who, by reason of his disregard for appearances, obtained the unenviable name of "Dirty Dick." He kept a large hardware and miscellaneous shop; the number of the house was 46, now divided into two tenements. Bentley's was one of the curiosities of the town, whither strangers flocked “less to buy than to stare," and it was usually confessed— "Though the dirt was so frightful, The dirty man's manners were truly delightful.” In his early days he was called "the beau of Leadenhall Street," and might be seen at public places of resort dressed as a man of fashion. He not only spoke French and Italian fluently, but, as 124 TAVERN ANECDOTES the rhyme implies, his demeanour was that of a polished gentleman. At this period, his favourite suit was blue and silver, with his hair dressed in the highest style of fashionable extravagance. He paid several visits to Paris, and was present at the coronation of Louis XVI., to whom he was per- sonally introduced as one of the most accomplished. English gentlemen then at the French Court. But whence the cause of his decadence into dirt? As the story goes, Bentley was engaged to be married to a young lady, and, previous to the performance of the ceremony, he invited her and several of her relatives to partake of a sumptuous entertainment. Having prepared everything for their reception, he anxiously awaited in this apartment the arrival of his intended bride; when a messenger entered, bringing the melancholy intelligence of her sudden death. This unexpected event had such an effect upon him that he closed up the room with the reso- lution that it should never again be opened. Time passed on, and our fashionable beau became the inveterate enemy of soap and towels: and hence Dirty Dick." Bentley's house, which was of large size, had originally a front of white plaster, which time had converted into a dingy black. Its outside perfectly corresponded with the interior, and both with the figure of its extraordinary inhabitant. The windows were literally as black, and covered as thickly with dirt and smoke, as the back of a chimney which has not been swept for many years. .66 AND SAYINGS. 125 Of the windows scarcely a pane was left whole; to remedy which several of the window-shutters long remained unopened, and the other vacancies were repaired with japanned waiters and tea-trays, which were always chained chained to the window frames. Though this method of proceeding may appear to have arisen from parsimony, yet notoriety, rather than avarice, appeared to be his ruling principle. By the adoption of this dirty system he found by experience that he excited much curiosity, and attracted considerable notice. He has been heard himself to relate that a lady came purposely from Yorkshire to see him, as the most remarkable character she had ever heard of, and it is certain that other ladies have been equally curious. Several of his neighbours, especially those on the opposite side of the street, frequently, offered to defray the expense of painting and repairing the front of his house; but he constantly refused, alleging that his shop was so well known abroad, as well as at home, by the denomination of the "Dirty Warehouse of Leadenhall Street," that to alter its appearance would ruin his trade with the Levant, and other foreign parts. In February, 1804, Bentley finally quitted his warehouse in Leadenhall Street, in which for forty years he had conducted business, among cobwebs and dust. He then took a housein Jewry Street, Aldgate, where he lived three years, but his landlord refusing to renew the lease, he removed to Leonard Street, 126 TAVERN ANECDOTES Shoreditch, taking with him his stock of spoiled goods, to the amount of 10,000l., which he soon afterwards sold in the lot for only 1000l. Here he was robbed of a considerable sum by a woman with whom he was imprudent enough to form a connexion in his old age, after having for upwards of forty years not even allowed himself a female servant. To divert his mind, after this misfortune, he travelled for a time until he reached Haddington in Scotland. Almost penniless, and suffering severely from ill-health, he took up his abode at the Crown Inn, where he died about the close of 1809, and was buried in the churchyard of that town. To hark back again to starting-point: that is, with respect to that dirty hole known as "Dirty Dick's," in Bishopsgate Street. Now, although the premises have had to be rebuilt of late years, they have studiously retained as much of the original and dirty part as possible, and there are no less than five skeleton, or rather dried up, cats, one with the remains of a rat in its mouth, artisti- cally arranged upon the walls, and which were found in and about the old structure. It would appear that the "dodge" answers, as "branch establishments" are being opened. We visited. that in Drury Lane a few days back. Here the dirt is being cultivated with "safest haste." We entered the "branch," and having purchased a half- pint of porter received a printed receipt as an acknowledgment that we had duly paid our penny. AND SAYINGS. 127 In conclusion we would ask, What are the sanitary inspectors of the district about to allow "Dirty Dicks" to flourish in their dirt? DOCTOR, THE.-Brown sherry, so called because it is concocted from a harsh, thin wine, by the addition of old boiled mosto stock. Mosto is made by heating unfermented juice in earthen vessels till it becomes as thick and sweet as treacle. This syrup being added to fresh “must ferments, and the luscious produce is used for doctoring very inferior qualities of wine.-SHAW, On Wine. TO DOCTOR THE WINE.-To drug it. "} DOG. From the natural love that exists be- tween man and the dog it is no wonder that The Dog is so frequently met with in various colours, and in combination with so many strange but familiar things on signboards. Dog and Duck was a sign to announce that ducks were to be hunted within. The sport was to see the duck. dive, and the dog after it. At Lambeth there was a famous pleasure resort, so-called, on the spot. where Bethlehem Hospital now stands. Dog's Head in the Pot, or Crock, as a sign, is very old; but its origin is very doubtful and contradictory. In modern times it is only to be found in con- nexion with ironmongers' shops; a notable example of which is the one in the Blackfriars Road. 128 TAVERN ANECDOTES DOLPHIN.-The Dolphin, as a sign, is of very old standing, and is frequently to be found in strange company, as the Dolphin and Anchor, Bell, Comb, Crown, &c. &c. “DO YOU SMOKE, SIR?” said a London sharper to a country gentleman, whom he met in a coffee- house, and with whom he wished to scrape an acquaintance. "Yes," said the other, with a cool steady eye, "any one who has a design upon me." DR. ALDRICH'S five reasons for drinking— Good wine-a friend-or being dry- Or least we should be by-and-by— Or any other reason why. DR. CHALMERS once asked a woman what could be done to induce her husband to attend kirk. "I don't know," she replied, "unless you were to put a pipe and a pot of porter in the pew.” DRAGON.-The Dragon (an imaginary animal something like a winged crocodile) is one of the oldest heraldric charges of this kingdom. As a public-house sign, when painted green, it is in compliment to St. George. "St. George, that swinged the dragon, and e'er since Sits on his horseback, at mine hostess' door."-Old Ballad. The Red Dragon was in compliment to Henry VII., who adopted this device for his standard at Bosworth Field. It was the ensign of Cad- AND SAYINGS. 129 wallader, the last of the British Kings, from whom the Tudors descended. DRINK DEEP.-Drink a deep draught. The allusion is to the peg tankards. Those who drank deep, drank to the lower pegs— "We'll teach you to drink deep ere you depart." Hamlet, i. 2. DRINKING.-A drunken fellow, taken home by his friend, was challenged by another: "Who is that? Where are you going?" &c. "Why, I think your friend has had too much; why, I think he had better have divided it fairly, half to-day and half to-morrow." A watchman came up. "How much has he drunk?" said a bystander. "A gallon at least!" "Then I take him into custody for carrying off a gallon of liquor without a permit!" DRINKING ALONE.-The author of the "Par- son's Daughter," when surprised one evening in his armchair, two or three hours after dinner, is reported to have apologized, by saying, "When one is alone, the bottle does come round so often." On a similar occasion, Sir Hercules Langreish, on being asked, "Have you finished all that port (three bottles) without assistance?" answered, "No-not quite that-I had the assistance of a bottle of Madeira." DRINKING CUSTOMS.-A minister who had K 130 TAVERN ANECDOTES been reproving one of his elders for over- indulgence, observed a cow go down to a stream, take a drink, and then turn away. "There," he said to his offending elder, "is an example for you; the cow has quenched its thirst, and has retired." "Yes," replied the elder, "that is very true; but suppose another cow had come to the other side of the stream, and had said, 'Here's to you,' there's no saying how long they might have gone on." DRINK FOR HORSE-EATERS.-Hippo-cras. DRINKING EXCUSES.-Drinking excuses are so numerous that we can only mention the most successful ones :— 1. The Atmospheric Excuse.-Thunder in the air -a nasty fog coming on-that trying east wind— going to rain-to keep out the night air. 2. The Medicinal Excuse.-Don't feel right, somehow-a nasty cold coming on-influenza flying about-my old friend, the rheumatism, going to favour me to get an appetite-to help digestion-to prevent or to cure diarrhaa! 3. The Friendly Excuse.-On meeting a friend -on parting with a friend-absent friends- the friends around you-the Ladies, and, in extreme cases, the Royal Family. 4. The Micellaneous Excuse.-Had salt fish for breakfast-ditto, ditto, meat for dinner-going to AND SAYINGS. 131 have salt meat for supper-water not fit to drink saw a man nearly run over, &c. &c. DRINKING FREELY.-Not paying for it. DRINKING HEALTHS was a Roman custom. Thus, in Plautus, we read of a man drinking to his mistress with these words: Bene vos, bene nos, bene te, bene me, bene nostrum etiam Stephanium (Here's to you, here's to us all, here's to thee, here's to me, here's to our dear). The ancient Saxons followed the same habit, and Geoffrey of Monmouth says that Hengist invited King Vortigern to a banquet to see his new levies. After the meats were removed, Rowena, the beautiful daughter of Hengist, entered with a golden cup full of wine, and, making obeisance, said, Lauerd kyning, wass heil (Lord king, your health). The king then drank, and replied, Drinc heil (Here's to you).-The illustrious chief-justice, Sir Matthew Hale, left an injunction or advice against drinking of healths for his grandchildren, in the following terms:-"I will not have you begin or pledge any health, for it is become one of the greatest artifices of drinking, and occasions of quarrelling in the kingdom. If you pledge one health, you oblige yourself to pledge another, and a third, and so onwards; and if you pledge as many as will be drank, you must be debauched and drunk; if they will needs know the reason of your refusal, it is a fair answer: That your K 2 132 TAVERN ANECDOTES grandfather that brought you up, from whom, under God, you have the estate you enjoy or expect, left this in command with you, that you should never begin or pledge a health."" DROPS. To take one's drops. To drink spirits in private. To take a drop is a euphemism for taking what the drinker chooses to call by that name. It may be anything from a sip to a Dutchman's draught, which, according to the autho- rity of one "Mynheer Van Dunck," a Dutchman renowned in glee, consists of “two quarts of brandy to a pint of water-daily." DRUNK.-Notice is hereby given that on and after to-morrow at noon, that all persons of what- soever sex, name, or calling, who being tired of, or otherwise objecting to use the authorized synonyms tipsy, inebriated, intoxicated, may use the following equivalents-viz., in liquor, in his [or her] cups, got a cup too much, lushy, disguised, bosky, buffy, boozy, cocksy-boozy, mops and brooms, fuddled, balmy, pickled, screwed, funny, half-seas-over, far-gone, not able to see a hole through a ladder, three sheets in the wind, foggy, hazy, swipey, lumpy, obfuscated, corned, muggy, beery, winey, groggy, slewed, ploughed, on the ran- dan, on the re-raw, cut, how-came-you-so, sewed-up, muddled, springy, got his load, got a skinful, copped the brewer, been in the sun, caught it, got it, nailed it, overcome, werry poorly, tight, tight as a drum, AND SAYINGS. 133 top-heavy, afflicted, made an example of himself, makes indentures with his legs, as drunk as a wheelbarrow, as drunk as David's sow, drunk as Chloe, weary, raddled, well-primed, full-cocked, half-cocked, concerned, cast up his reckoning or accounts, well to live, the malt is above the water, cut his leg, drunk more than he has bled, daggèd, jaggèd, got his load, got a dish, got a piece of bread and cheese in his head, stolen a manchet out of a brewer's basket, and so on to next week-and the week after that. DRUNKARD'S CATECHISM. Question. What is your name? Answer. Drunken Sot. Q. Who gave you that name? A. As drink is my idol, landlords and their wives get all my money; they gave me that name in my drunken sprees, wherein I was made a member of strife, a child of want, and an inheritor of a bundle of rags. Q. What did your landlords and landladies promise for you. A. They did promise and vow three things in my name; first, that I should renounce the com- fort of my own fireside; secondly, starve my wife and hunger my children; thirdly, walk in rags and tatters, with my shoe-soles going flip-flap all the days of my life. Catechist. Rehearse the Articles of thy belief. 134 TAVERN ANECDOTES Answer. I believe in the existence of one Mr. Alcohol, the great head and chief of all manner of vice, the source of nine-tenths of all diseases; and I not only believe, but am sure, that when my money is gone and spent, the landlord will stop the tap and turn me out. Q. How many commandments have ye sots to keep? A. Ten. Q. Which be they? A. The same which the landlord and the land- lady spake in the bar, saying, we are thy master and thy mistress, who brought thee out of the paths of virtue, placed thee in the ways of vice, and set thy feet on the road which leads to New South Wales. I. Thou shalt use no other house but mine. II. Thou shalt not make to thyself any substi- tute for intoxicating drinks, such as tea, coffee, ginger-pop, and lemonade; for I am a jealous man, wearing the coat that should be on thy back, eating thy children's bread, and pocketing the money which should make thee and thy wife happy all the days of thy life. III. Thou shalt not use my house in vain. IV. Remember that thou eat but one meal on the Sabbath. Six days shalt thou drink, and spend all thy money, but the seventh day is the Sabbath, wherein I wash my floors, mend my fires, and make ready for the company the remaining part of the day. AND SAYINGS. 135 V. Thou shalt honour the landlords, the land- ladies, and the gin-shops with thy presence, that thy days may be few and miserable in the land wherein thou dwellest. VI. Thou shalt commit murder, by starving, hungering, and beating thy wife and family. VII. Thou shalt commit self-destruction. VIII. Thou shalt sell thy wife's and children's bread, and rob thyself of all thy comforts. IX. Thou shalt bear false witness when thou speakest of the horrors, saying thou art in good health when labouring under the barrel fever. X. Thou shalt covet all thy neighbour is pos- sessed of, thou shalt covet his house, his purse, his health, his wealth, and all that he has got, that thou mayest indulge in drunkenness, help the brewer to buy a new coach, a pair of fine horses, a new dray, and a fine building, that he may live in idleness all his days; likewise to enable the land- lord to purchase a new sign to place over his door, with "Licensed to be drunk on the premises" written thereon. DRUNK AS CHLOE, or DRUNK AS A FIDDLER. -Chloe is a lady mentioned often in Prior's "Poems," who had a great propensity for strong drinks. The fiddler referred to is the fiddler at wakes and fairs, on board ship, and other places where a fiddler was paid in drink for playing to the dancers. ་ 136 TAVERN ANECDOTES DRUNK AS DAVID'S (or DAVY'S) SOW.-One David Lloyd, a Welshman, who kept an alehouse at Hereford, had a sow with six legs, which was an object of great curiosity. One day David's wife, having indulged too freely, lay down in the stye to sleep, and a company coming to see the sow, David led them to the stye, saying as usual, "There is a sow for you! Did you ever see the like?" One of the visitors replied, “Well, it is the drunkennest sow I ever beheld.” Whence the woman was ever after called "Davy's sow." DRUNKEN NED came home one night, and having reached the centre of the room, down he fell flat. "Wife," said he, "what did you grease the floor to-night for? You have made it so slippery I can't stand on my feet.” DRUNKENNESS.-Some of the domestic evils of drunkenness are houses without windows, gardens without fences, fields without tillage, barns without roofs, children without clothing, principles, morals, or manners. DRY TOAST.-At a recent dinner the chairman proposed a health but neglected to pass the bottle, upon which a facetious citizen exclaimed, "Mr. President, I will thank you for some wine, for a dry toast always gives me the heart-burn." DRY WINE.—Wine neither sweet nor sparkling. In sparkling wine, some of the carbonic acid is re- AND SAYINGS. 137 tained to produce the "moss ;" in sweet wine, some of the sugar is not yet decomposed, but in old dry wine the fermentation is complete, the carbonic acid gas has escaped and much of the water, leav- ing the spirit dry or alone. DUKE'S HEAD.-The Duke's Head is Legion, and the origin plain as a pike-staff. The London Post Office Directory for 1875 gives us as DUKE'S HEADS those of— Cumberland. Ormond. Abercorn. Albemarle, Edinburgh. Richmond. Argyll. Glo'ster. St. Albans, Bedford. Grafton. Suffolk. Bridgewater. Kendal. Sussex. Cambridge. Kent. Sutherland. Clarence. Lancaster. Wellington. Cornwall. Newcastle. Cornwallis. Norfolk. Würtemberg. York. In addition to the above number of HEADS, we have a goodly number of ARMS, TAVERNS, and INNS, named after the above personages. "Henry was well pleas'd to change two dukedoms for a duke's fair daughter."-SHAKSPEARE. THE DUN Cow is at Swainsthorpe, a village five miles from Norwich, on the road to Ipswich. Under the portrait of the cow, in former days, stood the following couplet- "Walk in, gentlemen; I trust you'll find The 'Dun Cow's' milk is to your mind.” 138 TAVERN ANECDOTES Another is on the road between Durham and York: (6 Oh, come you from the east, Oh, come you from the west, If ye will taste the 'Dun Cow's' milk Ye'll say it is the best." DUTCH COURAGE.-The courage excited by drink; pot valour. EAGLE.-The Eagle is undoubtedly of heraldic origin. As a public-house sign, it is in honour of Queen Mary, whose badge it was. The Golden Eagle and Spread Eagle are commemorative of the Crusades; they were the devices of the Emperors of the East. EAGLE AND CHILD.-Eagle and Child, occa- sionally called the Bird and Bantling, or Baby, is the crest of the Stanleys, Earls of Derby, which was adopted from the following circumstance :-In the reign of Edward III., Sir Thomas Latham had only one legitimate child, a daughter named Isabel, but, at the same time, he had an illegitimate son by a Mary Oscatell. This child he ordered to be laid at the foot of a tree on which an eagle had built its nest, and, pretending to have found the child in this situation, he prevailed upon his lady to adopt him as their son. This boy was after- wards named Sir Oscatell Latham, and considered the heir to the estates, but Sir Thomas, a little before his decease, disclosed the fraud, and left the chief of his property to his daughter Isabel, whom AND SAYINGS. 139 Sir John Stanley married. The crest-which had been an eagle looking backwards-was afterwards, out of ill-feeling, altered into an eagle preying upon a child. 'And, like an empty eagle, tire on the flesh of me and of my son."-SHAKSPEARE. (( EARL of this, and Earl of that, and the other, is common enough in public-house-signery. "An' ye look, an' ye shall find ". Aberdeen. Effingham. Percy. Cathcart. Eglinton. Romney. Chatham. Ellesmere. Russell. Derby. Essex. St. Vincent. Devon. Grey. Warwick. Durham. Lonsdale. Zetland. "Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them "—by having their brains taken out and buttered, their heads collared, otherwise artistically cooked-up, to do swinging duty at some obscure or roadside alehouse; or, as our rarer monsters are, painted upon a pole, and underwrit "HERE YOU MAY SEE THE TYRANT !" EAU DE VIE.-Brandy. A French translation of the Latin aqua vita (water of life). This is a curious perversion of the Spanish acqua di vite (water or juice of the vine), rendered by the monks into aqua vitæ instead of aqua vitis, and confounding the juice of the grape with the alche- mists' elixir of life. The same error is perpetuated. 140 TAVERN ANECDOTES in the Italian acqua vite; the Scotch whisky, which is the Celtic uisc-lyf; and the Irish usquebaugh, which is the Gaelic and Irish uisga-beatha. EGGS ON HORSEBACK.-A couple of travellers stopping at the Hôtel Français, in the city of Cor- dova, the capital of the Argentine Confederation, were surprised and amused by noticing on the bill of fare, "Eggs on Horseback." Determined to know what it meant, they called for the equestrian dish, when it was steak with two eggs on top. ELEGANTLY DRUNK.-The Sacramento Times says, in the course of a report of the proceedings at a public dinner: "The mayor of the city, the ladies, &c., were appropriately and elegantly drunk, and the party separated in fine cheer." ELEPHANT.—The Elephant, in the Middle Ages, was nearly always represented with a castle on his back. The rook, in Chinese chess-boards, still represents an elephant thus armed. The Elephant and Castle, at Newington Butts, was a noted stage- coach house before the railway times, and was originally a low-built roadside inn, with outer gallery, a drawing of which hangs in the present tavern; adjoining was a large sectarian chapel, inscribed, in gigantic capitals, "The House of God," held by the dupes of Joanna Southcote, whose dreams and visions were painted upon the walls. The Elephant and Castle is often nowa- AND SAYINGS. 141 days jocularly called the Pig and Tinder-box, a term which, in all probability, arose from the ele- phant of some local artist being likened unto a pig, and his castle to a tinder-box. The Old Elephant in Fenchurch Street, as a public-house, was worthy the attention of all lovers of painting and genius; for in it, previous to its celebrity, lodged William Hogarth. It was built before the fire of London, and, although so near, escaped its ravages; the original building was pulled down, and another of more commodious construction erected on its site. On the wall of the taproom in the old house were four paintings by Hogarth; one representing the Hudson's Bay Company's porters; another, his first idea for the Modern Midnight Conversation. (differing from the print in a circumstance too broad in its humour for the graver); and another of Harle- quin and Pierrot, seeming to be laughing at the figure in the last picture. On the first floor was a finely executed picture of Harlow Bush Fair. EPIGRAM ON A DRUNKARD. He tumbles about like a fool we must own; He keeps himself up till he knocks himself down! But if he continues oft draining his cup, By falling so often he'll knock himself up. EPITAPH ON AN INNKEEPER AT ETON. Life's an Inn-my house will show it— I thought so once, but now I know it. 142 TAVERN ANECDOTES Man's life is but a winter's day; Some only breakfast and decay; Others to dinner stay and are full fed; The oldest man but sups, and then to bed. Large is his debt who lingers out the day! He who goes soonest has the least to pay. EPITAPH ON THOMAS THATCHER, on a tomb- stone in Winchester Cathedral Churchyard— Here sleeps in peace a Hampshire grenadier, Who caught his death by drinking cold small beer; Soldiers, be warn'd by his untimely fall, And, when you're hot, drink strong, or none at all. Added by Dr. Warton- An honest soldier never is forgot, Whether he die by musket or by pot. ESSEX SERPENT is a sign in King Street, Covent Garden, and in Charles Street, West- minster. There will be found, in respect to the Covent Garden "Essex Serpent," a lengthened account of it in a rare pamphlet entitled, “A Vade Mecum for Malt-Worms; or, a Guide to Good Fellows, being a description of the manners and customs of the most eminent Publick Houses, in and about the Cities of London and West- minster, with a Hint on the PROPS (or Prin- cipal CUSTOMERS) of each House. In a Method so plain that any Thirsty PERSON (of the meanest AND SAYINGS. 143 Capacity) may easily find the nearest Way from one House to another." Illustrated with proper Cuts. Dedicated to the BREWERS. London: Printed and Sold by T. Bickerston, at the Crown, in Pater- noster Row. [Circa 1703-4.] Of the above work, two Parts were published. On the leaf of Part II. there is as follows- THOSE ADVERTISEMENT. HOSE Gentlemen who can furnish us with any Hints on other Houses, are desired to direct them to T. Bicker- ston at the Crown, in Pater-noster Row, and they shall be in- serted in our Third and Last Part. If the "third and last part "was ever published, no copy has reached us. Curious and amusing wood- cuts of all the signs of public-houses celebrated in the work accompany it, a page being devoted to each, with descriptive, satirical, and humorous verses under every sign, together with explanatory and other notes. And, after giving an account of the house, the landlord, and the frequenters of it, sets out to give advice, hints, and "nasty knocks" to the "Props"-i.e., customers-much after the style of such scurrilous works as the Town, Paul Pry, and Sam Sly of our own day. Here are a few examples which will best explain the matter— "Props at the Crown." “Old S————chell, a Smoking Porter, famous for picking the Remains out of old Pipes, for which he is said to smoke-PICKETTS Funk. Every Pipe is his First, although he smokes Twenty a Day. 114 TAVERN ANECDOTES "Tom Bambe, another Porter, very honest, call'd H-m-d's* Spectacles, because he can neither read nor write but by his Means. "H-g, alame Baker, who always pays Ready Money for his Drink, because Hd wont trust him a Farthing. “C——x, a Crockery Ware Tea Seller-Steady! Steady! when over-ballasted with Evening and Morning's Draughts. "Dick A-y, Tonsor, whose Intelligence is INFALLIBLE in H——d's Judgement, and seems to bid Fair for the Roman Pontiff's Chair at the next Election. "Harry H-gate, a grand Enemy to Morning Draughts, tho' he constantly whets off a Gallon and half of strong Bub." We have given this lengthened description of this rare and very curious publication, as we may have to make frequent allusions to it, or extracts from it, in the progress of our "Tavern Anecdotes.” Now, to hark back to our “Essex Serpent," whom we feel we have left out in the cold all this time. At page 54 of the First Part of "A Vade Mecum for Malt-worms," the Essex Serpent of Covent Garden -which house and sign still remain-is made mention of thus- { * Hammond was the name of the landlord at the time AND SAYINGS. 145 COVENT GARDEN. [dwells, Fronting that.House wherein fam'd Gibbs Gibbs! that in the Healing Art excels! A Serpent raises his erected Crest, And seems as if he at Beholders hiss'd. This Beast, or Reptile, call him what you please, It matters not what Appellation's his, Hangs out above, that Passengers may know He's there Observant of what's done below; To see that every Man for Pint or Pot, Pay down the Ready as soon as it is brought; For here no formal compliment is us'd, Out with your Copper, or your Drink's refus'd; For Coin in Hand, the Drink from Hand is given, The Buyer and the Seller both are even. This Practice Barret to's Advantage found, And by it left his son Five thousand Pound, Who likewise knew it of important Use, To regulate the Dissolute and the Loose, In Bar to such, as try'd to bilk the House. Nor would that Custom if reviv'd agen, Fail of the like Success 'twas crown'd with then; Since where's the same quick Draught oi humming There can't be the minutest Cause to fear Decrease of Trade, and Proof has made it plain Good Liquors always must bring in good Gain. T. [Beer, 146 TAVERN ANECDOTES EWE AND LAMB is still to be found as a public- house sign. A traveller staying at the Ewe and Lamb, in Worcester, wrote on a pane of glass in that inn the following- "If the people suck your ale no more Than the poor Lamb, th' Ewe at the door, You in some other place may dwell, Or hang yourself for all you'll sell." EXCISEMAN'S STICK.-On a day for renewing the licences of the publicans, in a town in the West Riding of Yorkshire, one of the magistrates said to an old woman, who kept a little alehouse, that he trusted she did not put any pernicious ingredients into the liquor; to which she replied, "There is nought parnishes put into our barrels but the exciseman's stick!" par- EYE-WATER.-Gin. Gin is also called ticularly by the ladies!-white satin, white tape, and white wine, and spoken of as a yard—i.e., glass of white tape, satin, &c. FALCON.-The Falcon is a somewhat common English sign, and grew out of Hawking, which was the favourite sport of the upper classes during the Middle Ages. The falcon may be found on the Hoop, and in company with a Horseshoe. A white falcon was the badge of Queen Anne Boleyn. Wynkyn de Worde, the celebrated printer, lived at the sign of the Falcon, in Fleet Street. Falcon Court now marks the site. The AND SAYINGS. 147 A Falcon, being a portion of the Stationers' Arms, was much used as a sign by booksellers. Falcon Tavern used to stand on the Bankside, Southwark, and here Shakspeare and his com- panions are said to have refreshed themselves after the fatigues of the performances at the Globe Theatre. The Falcon Stairs still exist, but the tavern belongs altogether to the past. FALSTAFF.-Sir John Falstaff, the fat, sensual, boastful, and mendacious knight, full of sack, wit, and humour, the boon companion of Henry Prince of Wales, could not fail to be attractive as a public- house sign. FAR GONE.-A party, dining at a tavern, most of them got top-heavy, and on leaving the house two of them missed their footing, and rolled down stairs. The one happened to stop at the first landing-place, while the other went to the ground- floor. On some of them coming down to assist, the first one observed that he was dead drunk. "Allowed," said a wag; "but yet he is not so far gone as the gentleman below." FAT AND LEAN.-A man, in praising porter, said it was an excellent beverage; that though taken in great quantities, it always made him fat. "I have seen the time when it made you lean." 'When, I should be glad to know?" said the 66 L 2 148 TAVERN ANECDOTES eulogist. "Why, no longer since than last night -against the wall." FEATHERS.-The Feathers, the Prince of Wales' Feathers, the Plume of Feathers, the Prince of Wales' Arms, &c., like the Crown, are evidently of Royal descent, being the emblem of the Prince of Wales. The tradition is, that the Black Prince, having slain John of Luxembourg, King of Bo- hemia, in the battle of Cressy, assumed his crest and motto. The crest consisted of three ostrich feathers, and the motto was Ich dien ("I serve"). John of Arden discovered a contemporary M.S. which expressly said that this was the case, but much controversy has arisen on the question. The sign is very common in Wales, and on the borders. It is also very general throughout the country. FERMENTATION is a process by which certain substances are decomposed, when brought into contact with a peculiar principle called a ferment aided by heat. There are six kinds of fermenta- tion-viz., the saccharine or glucosic, the vinous or alcoholic, the acetous or acid, the putrid, the viscous and the lactic. The first two may be called the true fermentations, the others being what may be termed the diseases of fermentation. FIRST AND LAST.-The First and Last Inn in England is the sign of an inn at the Land's End, in Cornwall. The conceit is, that on one side of the AND SAYINGS. 149 signboard, that facing East, the wayfarer journey- ing from the West, the sign announces the some- what startling information that he has at length come to THE LAST INN IN ENGLAND; therefore, now or never is the time and opportunity for him to refresh his inner man; while vice versa is the case when a person is journeying from the other side, for then the signboard informs him that he has fortunately arrived at THE FIRST INN IN ENG- LAND! At which he is supposed to be so pleased withal that he needs must enter for the sake of dear Old England and his innate love of a drop of good beer—and for the benefit of the house. There are two or three other marginal parts of Great Britain, besides Land's End, where the same sign is to be found, together with its counterpart, The World's End. FLUNKEVISM.-Mr. Child, the banker, desired to hire a valet. One of these gentlemen presented himself, and inquired what wine was allowed at the second table. "Port and sherry," replied Mr. Child. "I like a glass of Madeira, sir," returned. the valet. "Why," said Mr. Child, "there's the curate of the parish here cannot afford himself a glass of wine of any sort." "Ah," replied the valet, shrugging his shoulders, "I always pitied that sort of gentlemen." FLYING HORSE seems to have no affinity with anything connected with inns, unless it was in- 150 TAVERN ANECDOTES tended to represent the Pegasus of the ancients, in which case it is not so unmeaning a sign; for, "If with water you fill up your glasses You'll never write anything wise, For wine is the horse of Parnassus, Which hurries a bard to the skies." "I'll now to Paul's Churchyard; meet me an hour hence at the sign of the Pegasus in Cheapside, and I'll moist thy temples with a cup of claret."- The Return from Parnassus (1606), act i. sc. 2. FOND OF PEACHES.-An old lady said her husband was very fond of peaches, and that was his only fault. "Fault, madam," said one, "how can you call that a fault?" "Why, because there are different ways of eating them, sir. My husband takes them in the form of brandy." FOOT TOLL.—A poor old tar, with two wooden legs, passed over Hampton Bridge the other day, and paid the usual toll of a halfpenny. Thence he stumped to a neighbouring public-house, and asked for half a pint of beer, saying he would have had a pint, but his locker was low in consequence of his having paid the toll. "Toll! for what?" says mine host. "Why, for the bridge," replied Jack. "Lord love you," rejoined Boniface, with a look keen as a lawyer's, "you had no right to pay; you are not a foot-passenger, for you have no feet." No more I ain't," exclaimed Jack, con- vinced of his unanswerable logic, "and shiver my i I AND SAYINGS. 151 timbers if I don't have my copper back!" With this determination he repaired to the toll-keeper, laid down the ground of exemption the landlord had discovered, which was allowed, and Jack rejoiced over a full pint of heavy. FOX AND CROWN TAVERN.-This house is situated on the turn of the road in the hollow of the hill leading from the Gate House to Kentish Town. Over the door may be seen the Royal Arms, under which is stated the reason that privilege was awarded to the landlord. On July 6th, 1837, her Majesty, accompanied by her Royal mother, was returning from Highgate, when the horses suddenly became restive and set off at a fearful pace down the steep hill. The innkeeper, seeing the imminent peril of the Royal party, fortunately arrested the progress of the horses, and saved them from their threatened destruction. The timely service thus rendered was rewarded by a licence to place the arms in front of his tavern, and, in addition, a suitable present was forwarded to him.-Palmer's St. Pancras. Fox.-Fox is more common as a sign in the country than in large towns, and very naturally the country being the scene of the chase. so, "I am a Fox you plainly see, There is no harm can come of me; My master he has placed me here, To let you know he sells good beer." 152 TAVERN ANECDOTES On the Fox tavern, Frandley, Cheshire, were the following lines- "Behold the Fox, near Frandley Stocks, Pray catch him when you can, For they sell here good ale and beer, To any honest man." The Fox and Grapes has, doubtless, a fabulous origin. Every one is familiar with the fable of the fox, which, when he found he could not reach what he longed for, immediately pronounced the grapes to be sour. On the London Road, Brighton, there is a curious conjunction of signs. Cheek-by-jowl with the Hare and Hounds is the Fox, the first time, we should say, that Master Reynard ever came voluntarily to the hounds. The Fox, in connexion with signboards, is to be found in very strange company; for example, he may be seen with a Bull, a Cap, a Crane, a Crown, a Duck, a French Horn, a Goose, a Hen, with the Hounds, a Knot, a Lamb, an Owl, and a Punchbowl. And still frequently on, or under, the Hill. And occasionally THE FOX's TAIL is seen to adorn the signboard of village or roadside pubs. FREAKS OF NATURE. (Scene, an eating-house). -Waiter: "Now, then, look sharp! Here's that Mutton-chop a biling with rage at bein' kep' waitin', and a Beefsteak gone away in a towering passion!" AND SAYINGS. 153 FULHAMS, or FULLAMS.-Loaded dice. So called from the suburb where the Bishop of London resides, which, in the reign of Queen Elizabeth, was the most notorious place for blacklegs in all England. Dice made with a cavity were called "Gourds." Those made to throw the high num- bers (from five to twelve) were called "High Fullams" or "Gourds," and those made to throw the low numbers (from ace to four) were termed "Low Fullams" or Gourds." (< "For gourd and fullam holds, And 'high' and 'low' beguile the rich and poor." SHAKSPEARE, Merry Wives of Windsor, i. 3. Fulhams (Make-believes). So called from false or loaded dice. "Fulhams of poetic fiction." BUTLER, Hudibras, pt. ii. 1. “Have their fulhams at command, Brought up to do their feats at hand.” BUTLER, Upon Gaming. GARNISH.-Entrance-money, to be spent in drink, demanded by jail-birds of new-comers. In prison slang garnish means fetters, and garnish- money is money given for the "honour" of wear- ing fetters. (French, garnisaire, a bailiff's man put into a debtor's house.) GASES FROM WATER.-An old toper, who lately attended an exhibition where a learned professor caused several explosions to take place among 154 TAVERN ANECDOTES gases produced from water, said, "You don't catch me putting much water in my liquor after this; I had no idea that water was so dangerous, though I never take much of it." GATE.-At Wadsley Bridge, in the parish of Ecclesfield, there is this motto to the sign of The Gate- "This Gate hangs well and hinders none; Refresh and pay, and travel on.” "GENTLEMEN," said a tavern-keeper to his guests, "I don't know whether you have talked enough or not, but as for myself I am going to shut up." GEORGE. The George Inn was, undoubtedly, set up to compliment the late Sovereigns of Great Britain of that name, and, like the King's Head, the King's Arms, &c., originated in loyalty to "the powers that be.” In the country they are more numerous in proportion than in the capital, as it has frequently happened that where a Sove- reign stopped, either from choice or accident, the Boniface of the time took advantage of the circum-- stance, and set up the Royal insignia, having been once honoured by the visit of a Crowned Head. “Green Man and Red Man have both had their day, With beasts from all corners and climes, Now our hosts have more sense, and the signs they display Are most of them signs of the times. AND SAYINGS. 155 Heroes, Statesmen, and Wits, each in turn take their range, Till their fame or their fashion are fled; Though while loyalty lasts we never can change, For all of us love THE KING'S HEAD !" The infidelities of political life are curiously ex- emplified in the adaptation of signs to the shifting phases of parties, and the fluctuations of personal popularity. The hero of to-day is supplanted by the favourite of to-morrow, and victory after victory on opposite sides is obliterated in turn. The signboard of the public-house is an infallible barometer of the fickleness of fortune. Charles I. is painted out to make way for the head of Cromwell, which, following the revolution of events, is trans- formed into a striking likeness of the Merry Monarch. For six years after the capture of Portobello more beer was drunk under the shadow of Admiral Vernon than under nearly all the other heroic heads in the kingdom; but his glory paled before the brilliant achievement of Culloden, and he was displaced by the Duke of Cumberland; the Duke, in like manner, being afterwards rubbed out to make room for the King of Prussia, who kept the ascendancy for a couple of years, when his fine Protestant face was made to do duty for the Mar- quis of Granby. Goldsmith tells us of an inn- keeper, near Islington, who lived at the sign of the French King, which he pulled down at the com- mencement of the war, and put up that of the Queen of Hungary; but the Queen, having in the 156 TAVERN ANECDOTES course of time lost her attraction, was dethroned, and the King of Prussia restored, to be changed probably again, adds Goldsmith, "for the next great man that shall be set up for vulgar admira- tion." There are sermons even in signboards. GEORGE III. AND HIS WINE MERCHANT.— Mr. Carbonell, the wine merchant, was a favourite. with George III., and used to be admitted to the Royal Hunt. Returning one day from the chase, his Majesty affably entered into conversation with. his wine merchant, and rode a considerable way tête-à-tête with him. Lord Walsingham was in at- tendance, and, watching an opportunity, he took Mr. Carbonell aside, and whispered him. "What's that? what's that?" said the King, "Walsingham has been saying to you?" Please, Sire, I am told I have been guilty of unintentional dis- respect; my lord has just informed me that I ought to have taken off my hat whenever I ad- dressed your Majesty; but your Majesty will please to observe that whenever I hunt my hat is fastened to my wig, and my wig is tied to my head, and I am riding a very high-spirited horse; so that if anything goes off we must all go together." The King laughed heartily at this whimsical apology, which he good-naturedly accepted, and continued to chat with Mr. Carbonell without endangering his falling off his horse. GIN PUNCH AT THE GARRICK.—One hot after- AND SAYINGS. 157 noon in July, Theodore Hook strolled into the Garrick Club-house in that equivocal state of thirstiness which it requires something more than common to quench. On describing the sensation, he was recommended to make a trial of gin punch, and a jug was compounded immediately, under the personal inspection of Mr. Stephen Price, the American manager. A second followed-a third, with the accompaniment of some chops-a fourth, a fifth, a sixth-at the expiration of which Mr. Hook went away to keep a dinner engagement at Lord Canterbury's. He usually ate little; and on this occasion he ate less, when Mr. Horace Twiss inquired, in a fitting tone of anxiety, if he was not ill. "Not exactly," was the reply; "but my stomach wont bear trifling with, and I was tempted to take a biscuit with a glass of sherry about three." GOAT IN BOOTS.-A public-house sign. It was the sign of Mercury, der goden boode (the gods' messenger). GOAT AND COMPASSES.-A public-house sign in the Commonwealth; a corruption of "God en- compasses [us]." GOING AND RETURNING.-A bon vivant one evening told one of his bottle companions that he intended to leave the sum of 20%., to be spent at his funeral. His companion asked, "Whether the 158 TAVERN ANECDOTES said money was to be spent in going or returning?" and was answered, "Going, to be sure; for, when you return, you know I shan't be with you." Two well-known "One GO OF GIN.-A quartern. actors met at a bar to have a wet together. more glass and then we'll go," was repeated over and over again, but in the end to go was no go with them. GOLDEN FLEECE.-Ino persuaded her husband, Athamas, that his son, Phryxus, was the cause of a famine which desolated the land, and the old dotard ordered him to be sacrificed to the angry gods. Phryxus being apprised of this order, made his escape over sea on a ram which had a golden fleece. When he arrived at Colchis, he sacrificed the ram to Zeus, and gave the fleece to King Æetes, who hung it on a sacred oak. It was afterwards stolen by Jason in his celebrated Argo- nautic expedition. "This rising Greece with indignation viewed, And youthful Jason an attempt conceived, Lofty and bold : along Peneus' banks, Around Olympus' brows, the Muses' haunts, He roused the brave to re-demand the fleece." DYER, The Fleece. GOOD ACCOMMODATION.-A traveller stopped at an inn, which appeared to him a quiet one, suit- able to his mind. On entering the parlour he rang the bell, and inquired of the servant for the master, who answered, that he was just gone out. "Your AND SAYINGS. 1359 mistress." "She has just gone out, too, sir." Well, have you any fire?" "Why, that is just 'So, so," says he; "then I gone out, too, sir." also must go out, and seek for other accommoda- tion." "GOOD BLOOD will show itself," as the old toper said, struck by the redness of his nose. GOOD DINNERS have a harmonizing influence. Few disputes are so large that they cannot be covered by a tablecloth. GOOD WINE NEEDS NO BUSH.-It was custo- mary to hang out ivy, boughs of trees, flowers, &c., at private houses, to notify to travellers that "good cheer" might be had within. This is still usual in Gloucester, at Barton Fair time, and at the three "mops." Some alehouses upon the road I saw, And some with bushes showing they wine did draw.” Poor Robin's Perambulations, 1678. "Good Wine needs no Bush."-" No, certainly not," said George Greenfield, of Henfield; "all that's wanted is a corkscrew and a clean glass or two." GOOSEBERRY CHAMPAGNE.-Champagne made from gooseberries has often been mistaken by reputed good judges for champagne from grapes. Exempli gratiâ: Lord Haddington, a first-rate judge of wines, had a bottle of mock and a bottle of real champagne set before him, and being 160 TAVERN ANECDOTES requested to distinguish them, he mistook the pro- duct of the gooseberry for the genuine article. Goose and GRIDIRON.-A public-house sign, properly a music-house, like Evans's. When it ceased to be a music-house, some facetious land- lord, to turn its former use into contempt, chose for his sign a "goose stroking the bars of a grid- iron with its foot," and wrote below, "The Swan and Harp."-The Tatler, with notes, vol. iv. p. 206. GOOD WOMAN, the Good Woman, the Silent Woman, or the Quiet Woman, represent a head- less woman carrying her head in her hand. Many have been the conjectures about this sign, which is used by colourmen, and very undeserved jokes have been passed upon the fair sex in respect to it. Were we to hazard an opinion upon so delicate a subject, it would be that, at the time when every trade and occupation had its patron saint, male or female, the colourmen fixed upon some good woman who had lost her head by an accident, not uncommon in the days of saintship. A would-be wag, about to open a new beer-house in North Road, Brighton, set about considering in his own mind, and consulting with his friends, as to a new or sensational sign-"a something different to any- body else, new and original." Many were the names of men, birds, beasts, and fishes suggested, but nothing met his liking. At last one of his friends mentioned about the fun that would be AND SAYINGS. 161 caused by having for his sign the Good Woman, and explained about her having to be painted without a head. But, "No! that was stale; had been done before," and so on. At last the embryo "mine host" thought to have for his new sign the Good Man, and, to carry out his own idea on the subject, gave instructions to the painter to do him a large signboard in white, with a dark bordering at the bottom, on which he was to write, in gold on black, and in large characters, "The Good Man." When finished, the sign was fastened up on the front part of the premises, and attracted some considerable attention. Everybody that passed and gazed upon the sign, inquired, "Where is the good man? I don't see him; where is he?" "Well, that's what I want to know," was the invariable. reply. "Mr. Landlord," one would say, "I don't see your good man.” Well, I never did see one yet—that is, one that was good altogether like. Did you ever see one? If I could only find one I would have his portrait taken by one of the best artists I could find. You see I have left a space on my signboard to have his likeness put if I can only find the good man." Many other similar remarks were made on the subject, and for a time all “went merry as a marriage bell;" but, as Burns has it— "The best laid schemes o' mice and men Gang aft a-gley; And leave us naught but grief and pain For promised joy." M 162 TAVERN ANECDOTES Up to this period of the Good Man's history all had gone well, but on one fine day a labouring man, half-witted and beery, being asked the usual ques- tion of "Where's the Good Man?" gave such a reply as cannot be printed here, and which had the effect of turning the affair into ridicule and ribaldry; and, as it was not likely that the signboard would for the future be of any advantage to the house, it was immediately altered into that of the Cat and Fiddle, and then, as vulgar jokes were made în respect to pussy's bowels, &c., that sign was altered, as it now stands, to the Red Lion. GRANBY.-The Marquis of Granby. A public- house sign in honour of John Manners, Marquis of Granby, a popular English general (1721-1770). The Times says the old marquis owes his signboard notoriety "partly to his personal bravery, and partly to the baldness of his head. He still pre- sides over eighteen public-houses in London alone." Old Weller, in "Pickwick," married the hostess of the Marquis of Granby, at Dorking. GRAVE MAURICE.-A public-house sign. The head of the Graaf Maurice, Prince of Orange, and Captain-general of the United Provinces (1567- 1625). GRECIAN COFFEE-HOUSE, in Devereux Court, the oldest in London, was originally opened by AND SAYINGS. 163 Pasqua, a Greek slave, brought to England in 1652 by Daniel Edwards, a Turkey merchant. This Greek was the first to teach the method of roasting coffee, to introduce the drink into the island, and to call himself a "coffee-man.” GREEN MAN.-The Green Man, as he was termed, was at one period of our history an indispensable object in the civic pageantries; the Orson of our day, bearing, like Hercules, a huge club. The Green Man, as a public-house sign, was generally a forester, and in many cases Robin Hood himself, or represented the gamekeeper or squire's chief man, who used to be dressed in green. "But the Green Man shall I pass by unsung, Which mine own James upon his sign-post hung? His sign, his image-for he once was seen A squire's attendant, clad in keeper's green' >> CRABBE, Borough. At the present day, and since the introduction of a friendly society called the Ancient Order of Foresters, the Green Man is invariably represented as a member of that fraternity. The Green Man, Oxford Street, was formerly the Farthing Pye- house, at the top of Portland Row, kept by Price, the noted rolling-pin and salt-box player; it was then a low public-house, much frequented by com- pany from masquerades at the Pantheon, a building now converted into Gilby's wholesale wine stores. There is a Green Man at Shacklewell, a suburban M 2 164 TAVERN ANECDOTES hamlet some three miles from London, in the parish of West Hackney. This tavern was, in the latter half of the last and the first half of the present century, a very popular metropolitan tea- garden, with its orthodox bowers, boxes and groves, its bowling-green, skittle-grounds-public and subscription-Dutch-pins, quoits, and other outdoor amusements. The entrance to the gardens was guarded by two Brobdingnagian and very highly-coloured, and cut-from-the-wood soldiers, who had a very imposing appearance to the youth- ful minds who accompanied their fathers and mothers to this Cockney retreat- "Ere giant steam had spread its mighty hand, And with an iron cobweb girt our land.” It was here where well-to-do tradesmen and banking clerks formed themselves into little clubs, and met by mutual consent on one or two evenings during the summer and autumnal months to play at nine, or Dutch, pins. But a change has been gradually, but surely, coming over the ways and means, and manners and customs of ye Englishe, and the Green Man of our youth, after undergoing many changes and struggles, some of the proprietors fighting for the past and others for the present style and order of things, has at length been pulled about, turned inside out, and ultimately converted into a full-blown London gin-shop-O tempore! O mores! AND SAYINGS. 165 GREEN MAN AND STILL.-This public-house sign refers to the distillation of spirits from green herbs, such as peppermint cordial, and so on. The green man is a herbalist, or greengrocer of herbs, and the still is the apparatus for distillation. Ritson, in his "Life of Robin Hood," says, "the green man should be represented with a bundle of peppermint and pennyroyal under his arm." Mr. Jekyll, meeting his friend Lord Erskine, said, “May I congratulate you, my lord, on having the green ribbon ?" "Yes," replied his lordship, "yet I am the same man still." "Then," rejoined the humorous barrister, "it will be a most evident sign of your deserts, and therefore you must be the Green Man and Still." GREEN THINGS.-A soft-headed, conceited fellow asked a young lady at a table d'hôte to come and sit by him, which she gravely refused, excusing herself on account of its being cholera season. "Cholera season!" said he, "why-what-oh- pshaw !-come, sit down by me." "Not now-can't possibly do it,” said the young lady; “father told me when I left home not to touch, taste, or have anything to do with any green things at my meals.” GREYHOUND.-The sign of the Greyhound is very common throughout England, and seems a very appropriate one in a sporting country, such as Great Britain anciently was and still continues 166 TAVERN ANECDOTES to be. The greyhound, under the ancient name of the gazehound, was one of the earliest dogs of the chase, and, from the nature of the first appellation, was originally intended to run by sight. He was the companion of royalty in field sports. King John received greyhounds in lieu of fines and forfeitures; but it is not certain whether he received them only because he could obtain nothing better. The dog of that day was long-haired, and resembling, but probably larger than, the one used by warreners; and in the oldest pictures now extant the spaniel, and sometimes the pointer, accompanied the sportsman in what then, as now, was termed coursing. As a public- house sign, the greyhound is to be found of several colours-red, white, black, and blue! THE SHAPE OF A GOOD GREYHOUND- A head like a snake, a neck like a drake; A back like a beam, a belly like a bream; A foot like a cat, a tail like a rat. Admiral GROG.-Rum and water cold without. Vernon was called "Old Grog" by his sailors, because he was accustomed to walk the deck in rough weather in a "grogram cloak." As he was the first to serve water in the rum on board ship, the mixture went by the name of grog. "Six- water grog" is one part rum to six parts of sea- water. Grog, in common parlance, is any mixture of spirits and water, either hot or cold. AND SAYINGS. 167 GUY, EARL OF WARWICK.-There are many signs in the country put up in remembrance of Guy, Earl of Warwick, who rendered himself so famous in the transactions of his times, none of which have figured more in traditionary history than his encounter with the dun cow, and his defeat of Colbrand, the Danish giant. "GUY FAWKES, GUY-STUCK UP HIGH.” GUY FAWKES.-This sign seems to have been adopted by some loyalist shortly after the discovery of the Gunpowder Plot for blowing up King James I., Prince Henry, and all the Lords and Commons who might be then assembled at the 168 TAVERN ANECDOTES opening of the Session of Parliament. The 5th of November brings annually before our eyes various grotesque figures destined to the flames, remind- ing us of the providential escape of the King and Parliament. "The dreadful secret," says Hume, "though communicated to above twenty persons, had been religiously kept for above a year and a half. No remorse, no pity, no fear of punishment, no hope of reward had as yet induced any one con- spirator either to abandon the enterprise or make a discovery of it. The holy fury had extinguished in their breasts every other motive, and it was an in- discretion, at least, proceeding chiefly from those very bigoted prejudices and partialities, which saved the nation. In consequence of an anony- mous and warning letter being received by Lord Monteagle, a Catholic, which being made known to the King, he caused a search to be made in the cellars under the House on the day preceding the meeting of Parliament, where was found Guido Fawkes, with matches ready to set fire to the train. He was executed in Old Palace Yard in 1606." HABITUAL THIRST.-A soldier, being tried for habitual drunkenness, and asked whether he had anything to plead in excuse, replied, "Nothing, please yer honour, but habitual thirst !” HALF-AND-HALF-A German, on his passage from Hamburg to England, was asked by a fellow voyageur whether he should not drink AND SAYINGS. 169 porter on his arrival in London. "No," replied the German, "it will be much too strong for my head." "Ah!" rejoined the other, "you will change your opinion when you have once tasted it." A few weeks after the German met his friend, who asked him whether he had not drunk porter as he predicted. "No," replied he, "I drink half-and-half." "But that is even stronger, being half ale and half porter!" "Oh," cried the German with surprise, "I thought half-and-half was half porter and half water." The last time Madame Pasta was in England, a lady of high distinction asked her if she drank as much porter as usual. "No, mia cara, prendo half-and-half adesso." HALF-MOON.-Sir Thomas Browne Browne was of opinion that the human faces portrayed on ale- house signs, and in coats of arms, for the sun and moon, were reliques of paganism, and that these visages originally implied Apollo and Diana. Joan Wood, in 1600, by her last will, gave rent- charges arising from the brewhouse, called the Half-Moon brewhouse, and a house in Half- Moon Alley, with other lands and tenements, to St. Botolph's, for charitable uses.) Stowe's Survey edit. 1754, vol. i. p. 423.) The Half-Moon was the representative of a sixpence in the alewife's uncancelled scores, when the wall did penance in chalked hieroglyphics for the sins of the tippler. So, in "Master W. H., his Song to his Wife at 170 TAVERN ANECDOTES Windsor," printed in Captain Lewellyn's "Men- miracles and other Poems," 1656, at page 40, mention is made of "the fat harlot of the tap," whọ- "Writes at night and at noon, For tester half a moon, And great round O for a shilling." Be patient out Rafcall 1200 ET BILA MER JUS, DAR THE ALEWIFE. The woodcut attached to the ballad of "My Wife will be my Master, or the Married Man's complaint against his unruly Wife," circa 1605, is an admi- rable illustration of such an alewife's score. A facsimile of which is here subjoined. The phrase "mind your P's and Q's" is said to have origi- AND SAYINGS. 171 nated in a caution to tipplers who drank freely on credit, to be wary of the pints and quarts scored against them by the nicked chalk of mine host. But in Rowland's "Four Knaves" is found this couplet- "Bring in a quart of Maligo (Malaga) right true, And look you, rogue, that it be pee and kew." Ben Jonson, once desiring a glass of sack, went to the Half-Moon Tavern, in Aldersgate Street, but found it closed, so he adjourned to the Sun Tavern, in Long Lane, and wrote the following epigram- "Since the Half-Moon is so unkind, To make me go about, The Sun my money now shall have, And the Moon shall go without." There was a Half-Moon Tavern on the north side of Cheapside, abutting westward on Gutter Lane, having a way by the court from Cheapside into Gutter Lane. After the Great Fire it was rebuilt, retaining the appellation of the Half-Moon Tavern. Elias Ashmole, in his diary, March 11th, 1682, notices his presiding at the Half-Moon Tavern, in Cheapside, at a noble dinner prepared at the charge of some newly-accepted Masons; "I was the senior fellow among them, it being thirty-five years ago since I was admitted." During a long series of years the Half-Moon Tavern maintained a distinguished notoriety, and is historically recorded as the scene of many 172 TAVERN ANECDOTES public City events. In the Gentleman's Magazine for April, 1747, the following adver- tisement appeared : "Half-Moon Tavern, Cheapside, April 13. His Royal Highness the Duke of Cumberland, having restored peace to Britain by the ever-memorable Battle of Culloden, fought on the 16th of April, 1745, the choice spirits have agreed to celebrate that day annually by A GRAND JUBILEE IN THE MOON, of which the stars are hereby acquainted and summoned to shine with their brightest lustre by six o'clock on Thursday next in the evening." As the property of the Saddlers' Company it was leased by them to taverners till 1817, when Mr. Butler, chemist, became lessee of the premises, "heretofore the Half-Moon Tavern, but lately known as the New London Tavern." A fire destroyed the whole in February, 1821, when the house, now 140, Cheap- side, was rebuilt on the site. Half-Moon Passage, leading from Cheapside to the tavern, is now named Cooper's Alley. Butler, the poet, at part iii. c. 3, of his "Hudibras," waggishly asks- "Tell me—but what's the natural cause- Why, on a sign, no painter draws The full moon ever, but the half?" Were he alive now, he would find many a "Full Moon" for a sign; there is one in Boyce's Street, Brighton; but why particularize, or give a "local habitation," when their "name is legion?" AND SAYINGS. 173 HALF-PRIMED.-George Colman, being one of a convivial party, and having, as he thought, as much as he could conveniently carry, was about to leave, when the host strongly pressed him to remain, as he appeared as yet not half-primed. "Not half-primed!" replied the wit, "I am both loaded and primed, and if you wait but an instant you shall see me go off!" The HALF-SEAS OVER.—Almost up with one. Now applied to a person almost dead drunk. phrase seems to be a corruption of the Dutch op-zee zober, "over-sea beer," a strong heady beverage introduced into Holland from England (Gifford). "Up-zee Freese" is Friesland beer. The German zauber means "strong-beer and "bewitchment." "I am half-seas o'er to death."-DRYDEN. "I do not like the dulness of your eye, It hath a heavy cast, 'tis upsee Dutch." "" BEN JONSON, Alchemist, iv. 4. HAND.-Quacks were much in the habit of using a hand in their signs, pointing to an eye, the ear, or the face, to intimate that the great "Doctor of Doctors" cured the blind, the deaf, or skin diseases. The hand as a sign occurs in many combinations. Coffee-house keepers were in the habit of issuing pence and tokens on which were a hand holding a coffee-pot. One in the Beaufoy Collection is of a MARY STRINGAR, 1669, HER HALF-PENY," and 174 TAVERN ANECDOTES represents a hand pouring coffee, tobacco-pipes on table. "Coffee without tobacco is meat without salt," according to the Persian proverb, quoted by Sale in his preliminary discourse to his translation of the Koran. Hand and Cock was a punning device of Robert Handcock. Hand and Glove was the usual sign of glovers. Hand in Hand, or Union, is now a frequent public-house sign, as is the Hand and Heart, or Heart in Hand. HAND AND PEN was a scrivener's sign, but was adopted by keepers of houses for Fleet marriages. Mr. J. C. Jeaffreson, in his valuable work, "Brides and Bridals," has taken great pains with this subject of Fleet parsons, and has ransacked all possible books, old or new, for information about them. "Scanty particulars," he says, "have been pre- served of about forty persons who were keepers of marrying-houses. Some of these persons were turnkeys, or subordinate officials, in the Fleet Prison, like Bartholomew Bassett, who was clerk of the Fleet Chapel, and tenant, at the exorbi- tant rent of 100%, of the Fleet cellars, where mar- riages were solemnized secretly. It was at Bassett's office, or private chapel, that Beau Fielding married his first wife, before he fixed his affections on the Duchess of Cleveland. A few of the forty nego- tiators in wedlock were women, who had come into possession of a register and marrying business by inheritance. Most of them, however, had in the AND SAYINGS. 175 first instance been simple innkeepers, supplying the public with adulterated liquors before they entered the matrimonial trade. Standing in the chief thoroughfares or side alleys and by-yards of the Fleet quarter, their taverns had signs, some of which still pertain to hostelries of the locality. For in- stance the Cock, near Fleet Bridge, and the Rain- bow Coffee-house, at the corner of Fleet Ditch, were famous marrying-houses, with signs honourably known at the present day to frequenters of Fleet Street taverns. The Cock and Acorn, the Fighting Cocks, the Shepherd and Goat, the Golden Lion, the Bishop Blaze, the Two Lawyers, the Wheat- sheaf, the Horseshoe and Magpie, the King's Head, the Lamb, the Swan, the Hoop and Bunch of Grapes, were some of the taverns in or near Fleet Street and Fleet Market, provided with chaplains and chapels, or private rooms, in which marriages were solemnized on every day and night of the year. William Wyatt-brother of the no- torious and very successful Fleet parson, Walter Wyatt-was landlord, first of a public-house in Sea Coal Lane, and afterwards of the New Market House, Fleet Lane, in both of which houses he drove a great trade, and flourished under his stately brother's patronage. The Hand and Pen was a sign which proved so attractive to the generality of spouses, that after it had brought success in trade to one house, competitors of the original Hand and Pen public-house adopted it. Joshua 176 TAVERN ANECDOTES Lilley's Hand and Pen stood near Fleet Bridge; Matthias Wilson's Hand and Pen looked out on the Fleet Ditch; John Burnford's Hand and Pen kept open doɔr at the foot of Ludgate Hill; and Mrs. Balls had her Hand and Pen office and registry of marriages within sight of the other three esta- blishments of the same name. When Ben the Bunter married fair Kitty of Kent Street, he went to the Hand and Pen, and was fast bound to his damsel by a stout and florid clergyman, for the moderate fee of half-a-crown." The Rev. Alexander Keith, who had been reader at the Rolls Chapel, and afterwards incumbent of a Mayfair proprietary chapel, a great place for illegal marriages, on being suspended, excommunicated, and committed to Fleet Prison for contempt in 1743, wrote a pam- phlet to defend his conduct. The following ex- tract gives some curious examples of the sort of reckless and shameless marriages that were con- tracted:"As I have married many thousands, and, consequently, have on those occasions seen the humour of the lower class of people, I have often asked the married pair how long they have been acquainted. They would reply, some more, some less, but the generality did not exceed the acquaintance of a week, some only of a day-half a day." A collection by some enthusiastic collector on this subject exists at the British Museum; he has illustrated a small poem called "The Humours of the Fleet," with many sketches of the low prison * AND SAYINGS. 177 life. The following quotation paints the Fleet parson, and the noisy touts who wrangled for each new arrival, in bold colours- "Scarce had the coach discharged its trusty fare, But gaping crowds surround th' amorous pair ; The busy plyers make a mighty stir, And whispering cry, 'D'ye want the parson, sir? Pray step this way-just to the Pen in Hand, The doctor's ready there at your command.' "This way!' another cries. 'Sir, I declare, The true and ancient register is here.' The alarmed parsons quickly hear the din, And haste with soothing words to invite 'em in. In this confusion, jostled to and fro, The enamoured couple know not where to go, Till slow advancing from the coach's side, The experienced matron came (an artful guide) She led the way without regarding either, And the first parson spliced 'em both together." HAND AND SHEARS.-A house of call for the knights of the thimble, with the above sign, is situate very appropriately in Cloth Fair, Smith- field. The sign of the Goose-not a feathered one --would be a proper sign for a new house of call for the same profession, or that of a Cabbage! But as these might give offence to the fraternity, we do not perceive that any one has ventured to adopt either. Many jokes have been passed upon these adorners of our persons, but the following instance of fool wit, not being familiar to every one, we give it, as it seems to fit well:-Chancellor Talbot had a steward, who had formerly been a tailor; his lord- ship also kept a Welsh jester, named Rees Peu- N 178 TAVERN ANECDOTES gelding, who had a small farm on the estate, for which he was in arrears of rent. The steward, owing the jester a good turn, distrained upon him, at the same time saying, "I'll fit you, sirrah." Then," replied the fool, "it will be the first time in your life that you ever fitted any one.” << "Come in, Taylor, here you may roast your goose." SHAKSPEARE. Lady Holland's mob, as it was commonly called, generally made for this house on the eve of opening Bartholomew Fair, and at midnight sallied forth, bearing along, in later years, the effigy of a woman to represent Lady Holland-who must have been the instigator, and, it would seem, first leader of the mob; and then the mob, knocking at doors, ring- ing bells, clamouring and rioting, some five thou- sand strong, during three hours of the middle of the night, proclaimed for itself, in its own way, that Bartholomew Fair was open. The first irregular proclamation was for many years made by a com- pany of tailors, who met the night before the legal proclamation at the Hand and Shears, elected a chairman, and as the clock struck twelve went out into Cloth Fair, each with a pair of shears in his hand. The chairman then proclaimed the Fair to the expectant mob, and all sped on their errand of riot, to arouse with the news of it the sleepers in the neighbourhood of Smithfield. It was in one of the chambers of this inn that the court of pie- 1 AND SAYINGS. 179 power, or poudre, was held-a court which had jurisdiction over offences committed in the Fair. • HANDICAP. A game at cards not unlike Loo, but with this difference-the winner of one trick has to put in a double stake, the winner of two tricks a triple stake, and so on. Thus: If six persons are playing, and the general stake is Is., and A gains three tricks, he gains 6s., and has to "hand i' the cap" or pool 3s. for the next deal. Suppose A gains two tricks and B one, then A gains 4s. and B 2s., and A has to stake 3s. and B 2s. for the next deal. "To the Mitre Tavern, in Wood Street, a house of the greatest note in London. Here some of us fell to handicap, a sport I never knew before, which was very good."— Pepys' Diary, Sept. 18, 1660. HARLOW'S SIGN-PAINTING.-There is a nice little anecdote connected with the sign of the Queen's Head at Epsom. The above sign (the original, for the board has been re-painted) was executed by Harlow, the artist of the celebrated picture of "The Trial of Queen Katherine; or, the Kemble Family." The painter, it will be remem- bered, was a pupil of the late Sir Thomas Lawrence. He was a young man of consummate vanity, and having unwarrantably claimed the merit of paint- ing the Newfoundland dog introduced in Law- rence's portrait of Mrs. Angerstein, the two artists quarrelled, and Harlow took his resentment as N 2 180 TAVERN ANECDOTES follows. He repaired to the Queen's Head, at Epsom, where his style of living having incurred a bill which he could not discharge, he proposed, like Morland under similar circumstances, to paint a signboard in liquidation of his score. This was accepted. He painted both sides: the one pre- sented a front view of her Majesty, in a sort of clever, dashing caricature of Sir Thomas's style; the other represented the back view of the Queen's person, as if looking into the signboard; and underneath was painted, "T. L., Greek Street, Soho." When Sir Thomas met him, he addressed him with, “I have seen your additional act of per- fidy at Epsom; and if you were not a scoundrel, I would kick you from one end of the street to the other." "There is some privilege in being a scoundrel, for the street is very long," replied Harlow, unabashed, but moving out of reach of the threatened vengeance. Such is the current story; but there must be some error either in the facts or their date. Harlow was but a youth eighteen years old when he left Lawrence, and too young. therefore for a man's resentment; neither had his conduct, a mere tricky slip, been such as to call forth fierce language in a person habitually so cautious and guarded as Lawrence. On the other hand, had Harlow arrived at manhood when it happened, he would not have allowed the words "scoundrel" and "perfidy" to pass with impunity. However all this may have been, the pupil AND SAYINGS. 181 quarrelled with Lawrence, and, resolving to be master of his own movements in future, com- menced work for himself. HARP ALLEY, Shoe Lane, formerly called Harper Alley, was for many years the mart of signs and sign-irons. Carved grapes and gilded sugar-loaves, for pendants, were till recently dis- played in the shops; but the main character of the neighbourhood is wholly changed and “ chopped up" by the formation of a new street to the Holborn Circus-cum-Viaduct. HAT.-This sign seems to have been adopted by one of the trade turned publican, or as a house of call for the hatmakers. At times we have the Two Hats, at Islington; the Three Hats, at which, during the latter part of the last and the first portion of the present century, extraordinary feats of horsemanship used to be exhibited there, with a variety of outdoor amusements. And that canting rascal, Mawworm, in Isaac Bickerstaff's comedy of The Hypocrite, mentions that he "used to go, every Sunday evening, to the Three Hats, at Islington," as he was then "a great lover of skittles." HAT AND TUN.-A house so named in Hatton Wall, Hatton Garden, is evidently in- tended to allude to the family of the Hattons, whose mansion formerly stood near the spot. The 182 TAVERN ANECDOTES house has been recently rebuilt, and a spacious room on the first-floor appropriated for parties. HEALTH.-Your health. The story is that Vortigern was invited to dine at the house of Hengist, when Rowena, the host's daughter, brought a cup of wine which she presented to their royal guest, saying, "Was heal, hláford cyning" (Your health, lord king). (See WASSAIL.) William of Malmesbury says, the custom took its rise from the death of young King Edward the Martyr, who was traitorously stabbed in the back while drinking a cup of wine presented to him by his mother Elfrida. Drinking healths: The Romans adopted a curious fashion of drinking the health of their lady-loves, and that was to drink a bumper to each letter of her name. Hudibras satirizes this custom, which he calls "spelling names with beer-glasses" (pt. ii. c. 1)- "Nævia sex cyathis, septem Justina bibatur, Quinque Lycas, Lyde quatuor, Ida tribus.” MARTIAL, i. 72. "Three cups to Amy, four to Kate be given, To Susan five, six Rachel, Bridget seven." HEEL-TAP.—Bumpers all round, and no heel- taps-i.e., the bumpers are to be drained to the bottom of the glass. A heel-tap is the peg in the heel of a shoe, which is taken out when the shoe is finished; metaphorically the wine left in a glass • AND SAYINGS. 183 when the drinker sets it down as "empty" or finished. HELMET.-The Helmet solus or in combination is an old sign. There is a Helmet Inn enumerated in a list of houses, taverns, &c., in Fleet Street and the Strand, made in the time of James I., and pre- served in Harleian MS. 6850. There is still a stone carving of the helmet fixed in front of a house in London Wall, with the date 1668. The Helmet was formerly often used by booksellers and printers as a sign, cedunt arma toga. The Helmet as a public-house sign is to be found where the soldier most doth congregate. In war time, with "his bruised helmet and his bended sword," while in time of peace- "His helmet now shall make a hive for bees." Ned Ward, a burlesque poet (1677-1731), mentions. the Helmet in Bishopsgate; he says, “at the battles without bloodshed of the Trainbands," in Moor- fields, the gallant warriors wish- "For beer from the Helmet in Bishopsgate. And why from the Helmet? Because that sign Makes the liquor as welcome ť a soldier as wine.” In the Beaufoy collection of trade tokens there is one ROBERT, STVDD at the Helmet, WITHOVT BISHOPSGATE, with the initials R. M. S. This house is made mention of in "A Vade Mecum for Malt-Worms," and in a doggrel description of 184 TAVERN ANECDOTES the house and its usages it is said of the landlady, or, as she is styled, "Madam," that "The Helmet that's without, buys Head-gear that's within." HELP ME THROUGH THE WORLD; or, as some render it, "Help me through this world," is ex- pressed on tavern signs, tradesmen's handbills, and circus clowns' programmes, by a man struggling through a globe-head and arms protruding on one side, his legs on the other-implying, thus far I have managed to get through the world by my own exertion; now afford me a little of your aid to enable me to accomplish the rest. This sign is also called the STRUGGLE, or the STRUGGLING MAN, and in the case of a widow keeping a house. at Hampton, a village of Middlesex, near which is the magnificent palace Hampton Court, she termed her place the WIDOW'S STRUGGLE. Sometimes the "Struggle" is represented by a man with a dog beside him, walking against a strong head wind; or, as Pope describes it, "A brave man struggling in the stormes of fate.” We remember having seen a very elaborately painted and highly varnished "Help me through the World," in the neighbourhood of the "Rare old City of Chester!" as the late Albert Smith was pleased to term the place, in his "Christopher Tadpole." He com- menced his amusing novel with "Rare old City of Chester!" then proceeds to say that "even in these days of rocket-like travelling, a man might fly all over Great Britain and Ireland, with an extra day AND SAYINGS. 185 ticket for Berwick-upon-Tweed, before he saw any- thing half so fine as the mouldering old red sand- stones which form the walls and towers of that venerable place; or looked upon anything half so fair as the prospect of vale and mountain, wooded headland and spire-pointed plain, that surrounds it." HEN AND CHICKENS.-In Christian art, em- blematical of God's providence, see Matthew xxiii. 37, "As a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings." But in worldly metaphor, represents a man's wife and children; and John Smith, of London, would nowadays speak of his wife and family, as did Macduff of old, as— "All my pretty chickens and their dam.” As a public-house sign, the Brood Hen is syno- nymous with the Hen and Chickens. HIGHGATE OATH, THE.-"Swearing on the horns," or "He has been sworn at Highgate," are terms more widely circulated than understood, and nowadays is " a custom more honoured in the breach than in the observance." Yet it prevailed at Highgate, in Middlesex, as a jocular usage of the place, from beyond the memory of man, especially encouraged by certain of the villagers, to the private advantage of the public landlords. On the drawing up of the coaches at the inn doors, particular invitations were given to the company to alight, and, after as many 186 TAVERN ANECDOTES as could be collected were got into a room for the purpose of refreshment, the subject of being sworn at Highgate" was introduced, and some perhaps expressed a wish to submit to the cere- mony. It often happened, however, that before these facts could be ascertained "the horns " were brought in by the landlord, and as soon as they appeared enough were usually present to enforce. compliance. "It's a custom at Highgate, that all who go through, Must be sworn on the horns, sir; and so, sir, must you. Bring the horns, shut the door; now, sir, take off your hat, When you come here again, don't forget to mind that.” The horns, fixed on a pole of about five feet in height, were erected by placing the pole upright on the ground, near the person to be sworn, who was required to take off his hat, and all present having done the same, the landlord then in a loud voice swore in the "party proponent." What is called the oath is traditional, and varies verbally in a small degree. The landlord, or the person appointed by him to "swear in," proclaims aloud: "Upstanding and uncovered! Silence!" Then he addresses himself to the person he swears in, thus: "Take notice what I now say unto you, for that is the first word of your oath, mind that! You must acknowledge me to be your adopted father. I must acknowledge you to be my adopted son [or daughter]. If you do not call me father forfeit a bottle of wine. If I do not call you you AND SAYINGS. 187 son I forfeit the same. And now, my good son, if you are travelling through this village of Highgate, and you have no money in your pocket, go call for a bottle of wine at any house you think proper to go into, and book it to your father's score. If you have any friends with you, you may treat them as well, but if you have money of your own you must pay for it yourself. For you must not say you have no money when you have, neither must you convey the money out of your own pockets into your own friends' pockets, for I shall search you as well as them; and if it is found that you or they have money, you forfeit a bottle of wine for trying to cozen and cheat your poor old ancient father, mind that! And now, my son, you must not eat brown bread while you can get white; except you like the brown the best. You must not kiss the maid while you can kiss the mistress, except you like the maid best, but sooner than lose a good chance you may kiss them both. And now, my good son, for a word or two of advice. Keep from all houses of ill-repute, and every place of public resort for bad company. Beware of false friends, for they will turn to be your foes, and inveigle you into houses where you may lose your money and get no redress. Keep from thieves of every deno- mination. And now, my good son, I wish you a safe journey through Highgate and this life. I charge you, my good son, that if you know of any in this company who have not taken this oath, you 188 TAVERN ANECDOTES must cause them to take it, or make each of them forfeit a bottle of wine; for if you fail to do so you will forfeit a bottle of wine yourself. So now, my son, God bless you! Kiss the horns or a pretty girl, if you see one here, which you like best; and so be free of Highgate!" If a female was in the room, she was usually saluted; if not, the horns. must be kissed. As soon as the salutation was over, the swearer-in commanded "Silence!" and then, addressing himself to his new-made "son," said, "I have now to acquaint you with your road- side privilege as a freeman of this place. If at any time you are going through Highgate, and want to rest yourself, and you see a pig lying in a ditch, you have the liberty to kick her out and take her place; but if you see three lying together you must only kick out the middle one, and lie between the other two. God save the King [or Queen]." This singular custom was first practised at the Gate House. Its origin is variously accounted for. One is, that it was devised by a landlord who had lost his licence, and who used it to cover the sale of his liquors. Another, and more probable one, is, that Highgate being the nearest spot to London where cattle rested on their way from the North to Smith- field for sale, many graziers put up at the Gate House for the night. These men formed a kind of fraternity, and generally endeavoured to secure the inn for their exclusive accommodation on certain days. Finding, however, they had no power to AND SAYINGS. 189 exclude strangers, who like themselves were travel- ling on business, these men formed themselves into a sort of club, and made it imperative on all who wished to join them to take a certain oath, and bringing an ox to the door, compel them either to kiss its horns or to quit their company. Yet, after all, it is just probable the custom was long ago not an uncommon one at favourite inns, and only survived at Highgate when it had gone out elsewhere. The only historical fact which has been preserved regarding it, is that a song embody- ing the burlesque oath was introduced in the pantomime of Harlequin Teague, performed at the Haymarket Theatre in August, 1742. Lord Byron, in his "Childe Harold," alludes to this oath, particularly the saving clause, "unless you like it best." In 1826 there were nineteen licensed public- houses in Highgate, and Mr. Hone, in his "Every- day Book," gives their names, and the kind of horns they used, and in most instances retained to this day-1. The Gate House Inn, stag's horns; 2. the Mitre, stag's horns; 3. the Green Dragon, stag's horns; 4. the Red Lion and Sun, bullock's horns; 5. the Bell, stag's horns; 6. Coach and Horses, ram's horns; 7. the Castle, ram's horns; 8. Red Lion, ram's horns; 9. the Wrestlers, ram's horns; 10. the Bull, stag's horns; II. Lord Nelson, stag's horns; 12. Duke of Wellington, stag's horns; 13. the Crown, stag's horns; 14. the Duke's Head, stag's horns; 15 the Cooper's Arms, ram's horns 190 TAVERN ANECDOTES 16. the Rose and Crown, stag's horns; 17. the Angel, stag's horns; 18. the Flask, ram's horns; 19. the Fox and Crown, ram's horns. The old crier of Highgate is said still to keep a gown and wig to swear in any who may wish to pass through the ceremony; for the swearer in, whoever he might or may be, generally wore a black gown, mask, and wig; and had with him a person to act as clerk and bearer of the horns. HOB AND NOB TOGETHER.—To drink as cro- nies, to clink glasses, to drink tête-à-tête. In the old English houses there was a hob at each corner of the hearth for heating the beer, or holding what one wished to keep hot. This was from the Saxon habban (to hold). The little round table set at the elbow was called a nob, hence to hob-nob was to drink snugly and cosily in the chimney corner, with the beer hobbed, and a little nob-table set in the snuggery. HOCK. So called from Hochheim, on the Maine, where the best is supposed to be made. It used to be called hockamore. (6 As unfit to bottle as old hockamore."-MORTIMER. HOGARTH A GRECIAN.-The celebrated William Hogarth seems to have embraced every opportu- nity of exhibiting his talent for wit. Having to invite a party to dine with him at the Mitre Tavern, he engraved a card, on which was represented, • AND SAYINGS. 191 within a circle, a pie, with a mitre at the top, and the supporters, dexter and sinister, a knife and fork; and underneath, in Greek characters, the motto, "Eta beta pi.” HOLE IN THE BOTTLE.-"Look here, Jim, there is a hole knocked out of this bottle you gave me.” Jim: "Why, not at all; there's the hole in it now. If it was knocked out how could it be there ?" HOLE IN THE WALL.-There are various houses known by this name-the term is generally believed to refer to some snug corner, perhaps near the town walls of old cities. That in Chancery Lane, nearly opposite to the gate leading into Lincoln's Inn Old Square, was formerly kept by Jack Randall, a famous member of the P.R., who obtained the proud title of Nonpareil, he having fought and conquered in sixteen pitched battles, with most of his opponents superior to him in weight. It was in Mr. Randall's parlour that Tom. Moore, the poet, picked up his materials for “Tom Crib's Memorials to Congress, by one of the Fancy, 1819," and his other works of a similar character. HONEY-MOON.-It was the custom of the higher orders of the Teutones, an ancient people who in- habited the northern parts of Germany, to drink mead or metheglin, a beverage made with honey, for thirty days after every wedding. From this custom comes, it is supposed, the expression, "to spend the Honey-moon." 192 TAVERN ANECDOTES "MY LUD AND GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY :-There can be no doubt but that my client, Spriggens, is the greatest rogue in the kingdom, but what of that? for 'to be honest, as this world goes, is to be one man picked out of ten thousand.'"-HONEST LAWYER. HONEST LAWYER.-In Great Britain, the "Honest Lawyer" keeps company with the Good Woman, being, like her, represented without a head, as the only condition in which by any possibility he could be honest. "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.” Jack Cade, in SHAKSPEARE'S Henry VI., Part II. HOOK ON A CHOP.-Theodore Hook once dined with Hatchett, at his delightful villa of Belle Vue, AND SAYINGS. 193 famous for its culinary completeness. "Ah, my dear fellow," said his host, deprecatingly, "I am sorry to say that you'll not get to-day such a dinner as our friend Tom Moore gave us." "Cer- tainly not," replied Hook, "from a Hatchett one can expect nothing but a chop.” HOOPED POTS.-Drinking pots at one time were made with hoops, that when two or more drank from the same tankard no one of them should take more than his share. Jack Cade promises his followers that "seven halfpenny loaves shall be sold for a penny; the three-hooped pot shall have ten hoops; and I will make it felony to drink small beer."-SHAKSPEARE, Second part of King Henry VI., iv. 2, HOP DEALER'S JEST-DANGER OF JESTING IN BUSINESS MATTERS.-A letter from Prague men- tions a curious affair, which proves that jesting in matters of business may sometimes cost dear. About a fortnight ago a hop dealer of the neigh- bourhood entered the counting-house of a large merchant at Prague, with whom he had commer- cial relations. The latter asked him how business was going on, when he replied, "I am doing so little that I am almost inclined to enter your service as a clerk." "What salary should you require?" asked the merchant. "Only 2000 florins a year,” replied the other, laughing. The mer- chant shook hands with him, saying, "Then it is a O 194 TAVERN ANECDOTES bargain." After a little further conversation the hop dealer retired, and neither one nor the other appeared to think any more of the matter. Six days after, a considerable rise began to take place in hops, and the merchant went to Saatz, the largest market in Bohemia, to make purchases; and, to his great annoyance, found that the dealer had got the start of him, and purchased all he could find. Meeting the dealer in the street, the merchant asked him what hops he had purchased, and the price. "That is my affair," was the reply. "What do you mean by your affair? You forget, then, that you are my clerk, and that I have a right to inquire what business you transact on my account. You are free to cancel your engagement hereafter, but for the present you act for me.” The dealer went to consult an advocate, who told him that his en- gagement was valid, and that in any case a trial would be a tedious affair. He then went to the merchant, and, after a long discussion, agreed to pay 4000 florins damages for cancelling his engage- meet, in order to retain for his own account the profitable speculation he had made. When the money had been paid, the Prague merchant de- clared that he would not keep a farthing of it, and distributed it amongst some poor relations of the dealer. HOPE.—An old sailor finding a corked bottle floating on the sea, opened it with the soliloquy AND SAYINGS. 195 «66 Rum, I hope; gin, I think; tracts, by jingo!" and then threw it back into the water. HOP POLE.-As the vine was set up as a sign in honour of wine, so the Hop Pole, or the Hop and Barleycorn, the Barley Mow, the Barley Stack, the Malt and Hops, the Hop Pickers, the Bunch of Hops, and the Hopbine are very general tributes of honour rendered to beer, more especially in the hop-producing counties. In many alehouses a bunch of hops may be seen suspended in some con- spicuous part of the bar. In the early part of the present century there were (says Colonel W. K. Stuart, C.B., in his "Reminiscences of a Soldier,") five brothers belonging to a Worcestershire family all clergymen. The eldest, when quite young, be- came a bishop. Once a year the brothers used to dine at the sign of the Hop Pole, in Worcester, 66 on one of which occasions my friend was present. After dinner the conversation turned upon pugilism, at that time greatly the fashion in England. The fighting merits of Tom, an ostler in the hotel, were brought forward, but the bishop asserting that he was himself a better man than Tom ever was, and that if any of his comrades thought the contrary, he was ready to have a turn with Tom at once, the other was sent for, and expressed his willingness to have a go in at his lordship. Tables accordingly were cleared away, and after a determined fight of half an hour, poor Tom was pummelled to his 0 2 196 TAVERN ANECDOTES heart's content, and the pugnacious ecclesiastic declared the better man." HOPS.-The hop plant was first cultivated in England about the year 1524. On its becoming known that brewers intended to use it in beer, a violent opposition sprung up, and petition after petition was presented to Parliament urging that this "wicked weed that would spoil the drink and endanger the lives of the people" should be for- bidden. What was the result of these petitions is unknown, but in 1530 we find Henry VIII. issuing an order in which he strictly forbids the use of hops in brewing. It was not till about the year 1600 that the prohibition was withdrawn, from which time, until the present, the hop has increased in favour with the public as well as with the brewer. "The ale," says Parkinson, in 1640, "which our forefathers were accustomed only to drink, being a kind of thicker drink than beere, is now almost quite left off to be made, the use of hoppes to be put therein altering the quality thereof, to be much more healthful, or rather physicall, to preserve the body from the repletion of grosse humours which the ale engendereth." Here we notice that two distinct kinds of malt liquors were sold-viz., ale made from malt only, and beer made from malt and hops. Previous to the introduction of hops, brewers found it almost impossible to keep beer (then called ale) for more than one month, without AND SAYINGS. 197 its turning sour. What are the hops of commerce ? Hops are simply the female flowers and seeds of the hop-plant. They consist of scales which are more or less covered with yellow resinous grains, having to the eye the appearance of fine dust. Under the microscope this dust is seen to consist of minute semi-transparent granules, round in shape, and having a golden yellow colour. It possesses a strong agreeable odour, and a bitter taste. This dust, called lupuline, is the most valuable portion of the hop, containing all its active properties. Examined chemically, the hop consists of a volatile oil, an aromatic resin, a bitter principle and tannin. The specific action of each of these sepa- rately on the human system has never been thoroughly investigated, but the united action of all is well known. Extra hopped beer is aromatic, tonic, and sedative. Hops may be said to possess three properties which peculiarly fit them for the use of the brewer: 1st, they give to the beer a pleasant bitter, aromatic flavour; 2nd, they check acetous fermentation, and thus render the beer capable of being kept; and 3rd, they help to clarify the beer, the tannin of the hop precipitating the albumen of the barley. HORN OF ALE.—“ Tom,” said an old farmer one day to one of his mowers, "do you know how many horns there are in a dilemma ?" "Well, no, not 'zactly,” replied Tom; "but I know how many 198 TAVERN ANECDOTES there be in a quart of good ale." Tom was a bit of a wag. HORNS.-The Horns Tavern. In London and its vicinity there are many houses so named, the most noted of which are the Horns Tavern, in the vicinity of St. Paul's, and the Horns at Kennington. HORSE. The sign of the Horse rarely or never occurs without a distinctive adjective to determine its colour, action, or other attribute. All natural colours of the horse, and some others, are found on the signboard-black, sorrel, pied, chestnut, spotted, red, bay, roan, white, golden, and even blue, the Yorkshire grey, the dapple grey, and iron. grey, &c. In London, and in all other towns and villages, we find the Running Horse, or the Galloping Horse, the Horse and Groom, or Jockey. Names of celebrated racehorses are found on signboards in every part of the kingdom; a proof of the popular taste. The White Horse.-The standard of the Saxons, and therefore impressed on hop-pockets and bags as the ensign of Kent. On Uffington Hill, Berks, there is formed in the chalk an enormous white horse, supposed to have been cut there after the battle in which Ethelred and Alfred defeated the. Danes (871), This rude ensign is about 374 feet long, and 1000 feet above the sea-level. It may be en at the distance of twelve miles. AND SAYINGS. 199 The Galloping White Horse is the device of the house of Hanover. The Rampant White Horse.-The device of the house of Savoy, descended from the Saxons. 'Tis a Trojan Horse (Latin proverb).-A decep- tion, a concealed danger. Thus Cicero says, << Intus, intus, inquam, est equus Trojanus" (" Pro Murenâ," 78). Of course the allusion is to the wooden horse which deceived the Trojans to their destruction. To get upon your high horse.-To give oneselí airs. The Comte de Montbrison says: The four principal families of Lorraine are called the "high horses," the descendants by the female line from the little horses or second class of chivalry. The "high horses" are D'Haraucourt, Lenoncourt, Ligneville, and Du Châtelet. - Mémoire de la Baronne d'Oberkirche. Horse (in the Catacombs). · Emblem of the swiftness of life. Sometimes a palm wreath is placed above its head to denote that "the race is not to the swift." Horse (in Christian art).-Emblem of courage and generosity. The attribute of St. Martin, St. Maurice, St. George, and St. Victor, all of whom are represented on horseback. St. Léon is repre- sented on horseback, in pontifical robes, blessing the people. The Royal Horse Guards or Oxford Blues are 200 TAVERN ANECDOTES the three heavy cavalry regiments of the House- hold Brigade, first raised in 1661. In a well-known country town, where four inns were already established the Bear, the Angel, the Ship, and the Three Cups-a fifth was suc- cessfully added, the White Horse, having under the sign the following bold lines- "My White Horse shall bite the Bear, And make the Angel fly ; Shall turn the Ship her bottom up, And drink the Three Cups dry !" In the lower part of the Montpelier Road, Brighton, and near the New England Bridge, there is a house rejoicing in the sign of the Old Hoss, a Yankeeism, doubtless. HORSE SHOE.-The Horse Shoe. Whether this was originally set up as a house of accommo- dation for the farriers we have no historical evi- dence, but there are many of the there is no farrier's forge near them. name where A supersti- tion still exists among publicans and others, that if they happen to find a horse's shoe and nail it over the step of the door, they will prove fortunate in business. HOSTLER is properly the keeper of an hotel or inn. Wittily derived from "oat-stealer.” HOT DRINKS.-Tom Toper was asked what he thought of the effects of hot drinks on the system. AND SAYINGS. 201 (6 "Hot drinks, sir," said Mr. Toper, are bad, decidedly bad. Tea and coffee, sir, are hurtful. And even hot punch-when very hot-I suppose is injurious !" HOTEL CHARGES AT WASHINGTON.-I went to Washington for the purpose, and put up at a leading hotel, where, seeing the landlord, I accosted him with, "How d'ye do, squire ?" "Fifty cents, sir," was his reply. "Sir?" "Half a dollar. We charge twenty-five cents for lookin' at the landlord, and fifty for speaking to him. If you want supper, a boy will show you to the dining-room for twenty- five cents. Your room bein' in the tenth story, it will cost you a dollar to be shown up there." "How much do you ax a man for breathin' in this equinomikal tarvun?” sed I. "Ten cents a breath,” was his reply.-ARTEMUS WARD, The Showman. HOUSES OF CALL FOR DRUNKARDS. What a cry in this country about the free trade, In all those great houses where drunkards are made, Their machinery is bad and beginning to break, For they spoil all the goods that ever they make. There are thousands caught in the trap they call malt, And thousands are wounded, and beginning to halt; 202 TAVERN ANECDOTES Churches and chapels are places for prayer, But the devil's head agent attends to them there. If they are lords, there are many kinds, For over the doors there are many signs; There's the sign of the King and likewise the Crown, And beggars are made in every town. There's the sign of the Queen, also her Head, And many I fear to the gallows are led; There's the sign of the Angel, likewise the Deer, Destroying health in every sphere. There's the sign of the Lamb, likewise the Fleece, But the truth is bad throughout the piece; There's the White Hart, and the Cross Keys, And many they've sent far over the seas. There's the Bull, and also the Bull's Head, His horns are so strong they will gore you till dead; There's the Hare and Hounds, that never did run, And many have been hung for the deeds they have done. There's the Two Fighting Cocks, that never did crow, Where men often meet to break God's holy vow; There's the New Inn, and the Rodney, they say, Which send men to gaol, their debts for to pay. AND SAYINGS. 203 The Hope, and the Anchor, and the Turk's Head, Hundreds have caused to wander for bread; There's the White Horse, also the Woolpack, Take the shoes off your feet, and the clothes off your back. The Duke, and the Saddle, the Jockey and Horse, Some they've made idle, and some they've made worse; The George and the Dragon, and Nelson the brave, Many lives they have shortened and sent to the grave. s; The Fox and the Grapes, and the Guns put across,. But all their craft is to get hold of your brass The Bird in the Cage, and the sign of the Thrush, But a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. “HOW DID YOU LEARN that graceful attitude ?” said little Jack Standen to a fellow leaning in a tipsy fashion against a post. "I have been practis- ing at a glass," was the reply. "HOW DO YOU LIKE MY BEER ?" asked a host ; "is it not well hopped?" "So well," said old John Allfrey, "that had it hopped a little further, it would have hopped into water." HOW DOES YOUR MASTER LIKE IT?—At the Dublin Mansion House dinner, one of the livery servants went up to a gentleman who was carving 204 TAVERN ANECDOTES a joint of beef, and said, "I'll trouble you, if you please, for a slice for my master." The reply was, << Certainly; how does your master like it?" Upon which the valet retorted, "Man alive! how can I tell how he likes it, until he has tasted a bit of it?" HOW JIM KELLY GOT A DRINK.-Jim Kelly is a native of the Emerald Isle, and was a private in the militia. He was not celebrated for unusual brilliancy, but was unexcelled in practising strategy to obtain a drink when he was out of money, which was a great portion of the time. One day he was harder up, as well as dryer than usual, and as no one was disposed to treat, he must adopt some new plan to obtain his "regular." With a dozen or more of his com- panions he entered a public-house, and marching up to the bar, called for "glasses round," which were speedily furnished, and as soon disposed of, when Jim looks round and inquires, Bill?" Bill is not present, and has evidently remained outside. "Bill must drink with us," says Jim, and goes out to bring him in, but strangely enough forgets to return and settle for the drinks. HOW TO MAKE (( Where's YOURSELF PLEASANT IN PUBLIC.-When you enter a coffee or dining- room, walk round all the tables, under the AND SAYINGS. 205 pretence of procuring a newspaper, and take that opportunity of poking your nose over everybody's plate, as such a proceeding will enable you to select your dinner from the best joints, and produce a very pleasing effect upon the company generally. How ΤΟ OBTAIN A SITUATION IN THE EXCISE. Take the liberty of distilling your own whisky, without paying your proper duty to her most gracious Majesty; persevere, and doubt not but in good time you will find yourself in a very pretty situation. HOW TO PUNISH A HUNGRY MAN.-Drive a steak into him! HOW TO SELL MORE ALE.—Our friend can say a good thing now and then. Happening to step in at a little alehouse one day, he called for a glass of the refreshing beverage. After drinking it he said to the landlady, with the air of one who has some great secret to communicate: "Mrs. D., I'll tell you how you can sell a great deal more ale than you do." "How is that?” she asked. "Don't sell so much froth," was the reply. "HOW WOULD YOU DIVIDE A DRACHM ?” asked one printer of another. "Why," replied the other, "I would drink one-half." 206 TAVERN ANECDOTES HUCKLE-MY-BUFF, or BUTT.-A potation com- posed of beer, brandy, sugar, eggs, spice, &c. HUCKLE-MY-BUTT. Huckle-my-butt, Huckle-my-butt, Come brew me a bowl of right Huckle-my-butt; First pour in the bubb [i.e., beer], brisk and brown as a nut, Brandy, eggs, sugar, spice, for that's Huckle-my- butt. Huckle-my-butt, &c. Huckle-my-butt, Huckle-my-butt, Come bring me a bumper of Huckle-my-butt, 'Tis pleasant to smoke mild returns, or short-cut, With a friend that, like us, can drink Huckle-my- butt. Huckle-my-butt, &c. Huckle-my-butt, Huckle-my-butt, It improves on acquaintance, does Huckle-my- butt. The man who'd not drink is a fool and a put, For there never was liquor like Huckle-my-butt. Huckle-my-butt, &c. Huckle-my-butt, Huckle-my-butt, It is welcome alike both in palace and hut; Should I have fifty children, each rogue and each slut Shall only be christened in Huckle-my-butt. Huckle-my-butt, &c. AND SAYINGS. 207 Huckle-my-butt, Huckle-my-butt, Meat, drink, clothes, and lodging, is Huckle-my- butt; I'd gladly be drowned-from existence be shut- Provided the liquor was Huckle-my-butt. Huckle-my-butt, &c. Huckle-my-butt, Huckle-my-butt, If there ever was nectar, 'tis Huckle-my-butt; The haughty may sneer, and the swaggerer strut, Let them keep their Tokay, give me Huckle-my- butt. Huckle-my-butt, &c. A HUE AND CRY.-When an advertised dye turns your hair a bright green! HUFFEY WHITE'S SONG. Drink! drink! Drink away! Never think On what's to pay! What is man?—a sigh! a vapour! What is woman?-whity-brown paper! Waiter, quick! another lump Of sugar in my beaker plump! Pop it in my brimming cup! Bravo!—now I'll drink it up. Drink! drink! Drink away! Never think On what's to pay! 208 TAVERN ANECDOTES HULL CHEESE.—A cant term for a strong sort of ale brewed at "The town's nam'd Kingston, Hul's the furious river." John Taylor, the Water Poet, in his "A Verry Merry Wherry-Ferry Voyage; or, Yorke for my Money: sometimes perilous, sometimes quarrellous, preformed with a paire of oares by sea from London, 1622;" while being entertained at the house of the mayor, says- Unto some friends of his, that they would there Give me Hull Cheese, and welcome and good cheer." Taylor then proceeds to say, by way of a marginal note, that—" Hull cheese is much like a loafe out of a brewer's basket, it is composed of two simples, mault and water, in one compound, and is cousin germane to the mightiest ale in England." When John Taylor, the sculler, or, as he was wont to style himself, "the Water Poet, alias the King's Majestie's Water Poet and Queen's waterman,” arrived at York, he says- "Thanks to my loving Host and Hostess Pease, There at mine inn, each night I took mine ease, And there I got a cantle of Hull cheese.” HUBBLE-Bubble. A device for smoking tobacco through water, which makes a bubbling noise; also a person who speaks so confusedly as to be scarcely understood. HUFF HUFF-CAP.-Strong ale. "These men hale at hufcap till they be as red as cockes, and AND SAYINGS. 209 little wiser than their combs." HARRISON'S “England.” "There's one thing more I had almost forgot, And this is it, of alehouses and innes, Wine merchants, vintners, brewers, who much wins By others losing, I say more or lesse, Who sale of hufcap liquor doe professe." TAYLOR'S Works, 1630. HUMMING ALE.-Strong liquor that froths well. A corruption of spuming. French, espuma, froth; Latin, spuma. Major Dalgetty wishes prison water were "humming Lubeck beer.' HUMMUMS, in Covent Garden.-So called from an Eastern word, signifying baths. HYMENEAL HALTER.-A few days since a ver- dant youth, with his blushing bride, arrived at one of the principal hotels of Brighton, and immediately registered his name as "S. B. Jones and lady on a bridle tower." Is not this a new way to inform the public you are in the hymeneal halter ? "I AM AFRAID," said a person of questionable, or rather unquestionable habits, "that I am likely to have water on the brain." You will never have it upon the stomach," was his companion's consola- tory reply. "I AM A GREAT GUN," said a tipsy printer, who had been on the spree for a week. "Yes," said the overseer, "you're a great gun, and half P 210 TAVERN ANECDOTES cocked, and you can consider yourself discharged." "Well," said Typo, " then I had better go off." "I AM THY FATHER'S SPIRIT," as the bottle said to the boy when he found it hid in the wood- pile, and wondered what it was. I DON'T BELIEVE that hot whisky punch cures a cold-that editors are rich-that wine cures the gout-that love ever killed a man-that an old bachelor is happy-that widows dislike a second marriage-or that a lady means yes when she says no. "IF YOU'LL BELIEVE ME, I haven't taken a drop of fermented liquor for a year,” said a man of questionable veracity. "That depends," said the other, “on whether one believes your lips or your nose." "I HAVE BRANDED YOU, SIR," said one indi- vidual fiercely to another. "You rather seem to have brandied yourself." I NEVER. Did you ever know the Boots at an inn call you too early for the morning coach? IN THE WHITE WINE WAY.-Why is sherry so good for a cold? Because it a Spanish liquor-is. INN (Saxon).-Chamber; originally applied to a mansion, like the French hôtel. Hence Clifford's Inn, once the mansion of De Clifford; Lincoln's AND SAYINGS. 211, Inn, the mansion of the Earls of Lincoln; Gray's. Inn, that of the Lords Gray, &c. (c "Now, when as Phoebus, with his fiery waine, Unto his inne began to draw apace." SPENSER, Faery Queen, vi. 3. IRISH BORN.—At a public dinner, the celebrated Curran was defending his countrymen against the imputation of being a naturally vicious race. Many of our faults, for instance," said he, "arise from our too free use of the circulating medium (pointing to the wine); but I never yet heard of an Irishman being born drunk." IRISH DRINKING.-It is related that, at a roar- ing dinner of a round dozen of jolly Irishmen, all were extended in due time upon the floor, except two heroes, who drank seven bottles of claret more between them, and beginning then to complain of a great "chill in their stomachs," from that thin cold French stuff, finished a bottle of brandy between them, and walked home-somehow or other. IRISH TEMPERANCE.-A gentleman from Ire- land, on entering a London tavern, saw a country- man of his, a Tipperary squire, sitting over his pint of wine in the coffee-room. 'Blood an' 'ounds! my dear fellow," said he, "what are you about? For the honour of Tipperary, don't be after sitting over half a pint of wine in a house like this." "Make yourself aisy, countryman," was the reply; P 2 212 TAVERN ANECDOTES "it's the seventh I have had, and every one in the room knows it." "IT WASN'T THE WINE I drank that made me unsteady," says the toper; "I slipped on a piece of orange-peel." JACKASS IN BOOTS is occasionally to be met with as a sign, being set up by those who cultivate the ludicrous. JACK OF DOVER.-A stock fish, "hake salted. and dried." The Latin for hake is merlucius, and lucius is a jack or pike. Mer of course means the sea, and Dover, the chief cinque port, is used as a synonym. Also, refuse wine collected into a bottle and sold for fresh wine. "Many a Jack of Dover hastow sold That hath been twyes hot and twyes cold.”" CHAUCER, Canterbury Tales. JACK OF NEWBURY.-John Winchcomb, the greatest clothier of the world, in the reign of Henry VIII. He kept 100 looms in his house at Newbury, and equipped at his own expense 100 of his men to aid the king against the Scotch in Flodden Field. Jack of Newbury, who had already attained to the signboard honours in the seventeenth century, may at present be seen in a full-length and well-executed portrait at a public-house in Chiswell Street, leading to Finsbury Square, London. • AND SAYINGS. 213 JEW'S HARP.-There was a house so named situated near to the top of Portland Place, but re- moved on the laying out of Regent's Park. It was long known and resorted to as a tea-garden, &c., by parties on holidays, and well spoken of for good entertainment. Mr. Onslow, when Speaker of the House of Commons, was wont to go to this house in plain attire, and take his seat in the chimney- corner in the kitchen, joining familiarly in the humours of the customers, and was for two or three years a great favourite with the landlord, his family and visitors; who, not knowing his name, usually spoke of him as "the gentleman." Mr. Onslow being seen one day in his state carriage going to the House by the landlord, mine host was some- what alarmed at the discovery, and hurried home to tell his family what he had seen, which dis- concerted them not a little, knowing with how little ceremony they had hitherto treated him. The Speaker came as usual in the evening to the Harp, but finding, from the reserved manners of the land- lord, his wife, and the children, who were accus- tomed to climb upon his knees, and take liberties with his wig, &c., that his name and character had become known to the circle, paid his bill, and, with- out taking any further notice, left the house, to which he never afterwards returned. JOHN O' GROAT'S HOUSE, as a public-house sign, intimates that even-handed justice will be meted 214 TAVERN ANECDOTES out-where all comers will be treated alike-one man being as good as another, from the following circumstance :-"John o' Groat, with his two brothers, Malcolm and Gavin, arrived at Caithness in the reign of James IV. of Scotland, and pur- chased the lands of Warse and Dungisbay. In the process of time their families increased, and there came to be eight families of the same name. They lived together amicably, and met once a year in the original house; but on one occasion a ques- tion of precedency arose, who was to go out first, and who was to take the head of the table. John de Groat promised them that the next time they came he would contrive to satisfy them all. Ac- cordingly he built an eight-sided room, with a door and window in each side, and placed a round oak table in the room. This building went ever after by the name of John o' Groat's House. The site of this house is the Berubium of Ptolemy, in the vicinity of Dungisbay Head." "Hear, land o' cakes and brither Scots, Frae Maidenkirk to John o' Groats, A chield's amang you, takin' notes, And, faith, he'll prent it." BURNS, Capt. Grose. JOHNNY GILPIN at "merry Edmonton" is a house having for its sign a representation of the renowned citizen, Johnny Gilpin, so humorously described by the poet Cowper. JOLLY.-He is jolly green, very simple. That's AND SAYINGS 215 1 jolly good, very good. John Trapp, in his "Com- mentary," says, "All was jolly quiet at Ephesus before St. Paul came thither" (1656). It is the French joli (pretty), but expresses rather more than our adverb pretty; thus pretty good means "rather good," but jolly good is "slap up." In signboard literature there seems to be no end to the "jolly" this and "jolly" that and "jolly" the other, and many examples will be found all over the country of the JOLLY Butchers, Bakers, Brewers, Carpenters, Crispins, Farmers, Fishermen, in fact, every proper trade or calling contributes in some way or another to form of itself or in combination a public-house sign; the origin of which may be put down to persons of particular trades first opening the house, or that it is situate in a locality where some par- ticular trade or calling is carried on over the average of other trades; and some outlying lo- cality and calling is sufficient to establish a public- house or beershop. A sand-hole will create the Jolly Sandboys, a brickfield the Jolly Brickmakers, a market-garden the Jolly Gardeners, &c. &c. JONES had been out to a champagne party, and returned home at a late hour. He had hardly got into the house when the clock struck four. "One- one-one-one," hiccupped Jones. "I say, Mrs. Jones, this clock is out of order; it has struck one four times." 216 TAVERN ANECDOTES JONSON. There is still a Ben Jonson's Head Tavern, with a painted portrait of the poet, in Shoe Lane, Fleet Street, London, and is a house where printers in general, and newspaper hands in par- ticular, most do congregate. It is supposed that "Rare Ben Jonson" was born in Hartshorn Alley, in Charing Cross, somewhere near the place where Craig's Court now stands, but this is not certain. Honest old Fuller, speaking of him, says, "I cannot with all my industry trace him to his cradle, but I can fetch him from his long coats. When a little child he lived in Hartshorn Lane, Charing Cross, where his mother married a bricklayer for her second husband. He was first bred in a private school in St. Martin's Lane, and then in West- minster School." Rare Ben also lived in an alley, as appears from his famous answer to King Charles I., who had sent him a very tardy and very small sum when he was in poverty and sickness. "I suppose he sends me this because I live in an alley-tell him his soul lives in an alley!" Ben Jonson died August 16th, 1637. JUSTICE.-The figure of Justice rarely or never nowadays stands for the sign of a public-house, but is frequently used by scale-makers both in town and country. Nevertheless we find a public-house having Justice for its sign men- tioned in "A Vade Mecum for Malt-Worms," as being then-of all places in town-situate in AND SAYINGS. 217 the notorious Southwark Mint. Subjoined are the particulars- IN THE MINT. First let's with Justice in the Mint begin, A SIGN that seems an Enmity with Sin; Yet, as without 'tis blind, it winks at Crimes within. Here skulking Debtors, who the Laws evade, Are Judges in the Laws Defiance made, And make a Jest of what has been their Dread. Here suppliant Bailiff, with uplifted Hands, At their unmerciful Tribunal stands; Certain that no Excuses they'll admit If in his Pocket there be found a Writ; That plunges him in Ditch o'er Head and Ears, Whose'er Authority or Stamp it bears; But still, however Heathenish is the Club, The Landlord's said to sell good Christian Bub; And, as the Lawrell'd Satyrist relates, The Bankrupts have their Jests, he their Estates. 218 TAVERN ANECDOTES OTHER HOUSES OF NOTE. [IN THE NEIGHBOURHOOD.] Old Winter, at the Stones End, sells excellent Bub, and has a Parrot that swears as fast as a Dragoon. Nag's Head, near St. George's Church-Who is always possessed of as many Buts of Humming Bibble as there are Days in the Year. Three Goats' Heads A Bit of Old Hat. Coach and Horses, St. Margaret's Hill. Magpye and Bear, both at the Bridge Foot-good Beer, KING AND THE MILLER, as a sign, is founded on an ancient black-letter ballad, a copy of which is in vol. i. of the Roxburghe Collection, in the British Museum; it is also printed in Ritson's Ancient Songs and Ballads, and entitled, "A Pleasant Ballad of King Henry the Second and the Miller of Mans- field, and how he was Entertained and Lodged at the Miller's House, and their pleasant communica- tion." Robert Dodsley, the author and bookseller, and who was born at Mansfield, 1703, founded a drama on the "King and Miller of Mansfield," which. met with so much success, that it was followed by a sequel to it, founded on the "Second Part of the King and the Miller, showing how he came to Court with his wife and son, and what Merry Conceits passed between the King and them," which AND SAYINGS. 219 THE KING AND THE MILLER. he named "Sir John Cockle at Court." The subject-matter of the king and the miller is the old, old tale of the king wandering away from his courtiers and followers. Similar stories are told of many different kings; of King John and the Miller of Charlton-from whom Cuckold's Point got its name; King Edward and the Tanner of Drayton Basset; King James I. and the Tinker; and so on ad infinitum. The ballad of the "King and the Miller of Mansfield" finishes up with— "Then Sir John Cockle the King called unto him, And of merry Sherwood made him Over-seer; 220 TAVERN ANECDOTES And gave him out of hand three hundred pound yearly, 'And now take heed you steal no more of my Deer! And once a quarter let's here have your view, And thus, Sir John Cockle, I bid you adieu!" KING'S ARMS.-Of the King's Arms and the Queen's Arms there are innumerable instances; they are to be found in almost every town and village. A certain amorous king holding dalliance with a fair damsel at a public court ball, one of the courtiers, wishing to retire to some tavern for refreshment, inquired of another what house he would recommend? who wittily replied, "that he had better not go to the King's Arms as they were full, but that the King's Head was empty.” KING'S HEAD.-At all times houses of accommo- dation have been opened under the above sign, and we may fairly infer that the keepers were not Republicans, and that few, if any, were set up for the first time during the Protectorate of Cromwell. The King's Head Tavern stood at the west corner of Chancery Lane, as tradition states, on or near the site of a mansion that had been the residence of Sir John Oldcastle, summoned to Parliament as Baron Cobham, and who died in 1417. Hogarth, in his print of "Burning the Rumps" at Chancery Lane end, one of the large series of his illustra- tions to Butler's "Hudibras," published 1726, has included a view of the King's Head Tavern. At the King's Head Inn, Strutton, near Ipswich, until AND SAYINGS. 221 recently there was a signboard, inscribed on which was the following courteous invitation addressed to wayworn travellers and others who were passing by- "Good people stop, and pray walk in, Here's foreign brandy, rum, and gin; And, what is more, good purl and ale Are both sold here by old Nat Dale." KING'S HEAD AND DRUM.-The sign was origi- nally the Drum in Tooley Street at Bridge Foot, but when Royalty resumed the sway, Turner, the then landlord, turned his drum topsy-turvy, and added the King's Head. It then became the King's Head and Drum. KING'S PORTER AND THE DWARF.-Over the entrance of Bull Head Court, Newgate Street, there is a stone bas-relief of William Evans, the King's Porter, who stood 7 feet 6 inches. Sir Jeffrey Hudson, the dwarf, who was only 3 feet 9 inches. Horace Walpole thinks it was probably a sign. LAME DOG.-The Lame Dog is to be occasionally met with as a public-house sign. Some few years back there was to be seen at a little hedge-side beerhouse in the neighbourhood of Lewes, the good old-fashioned county town of Sussex, the following doggrel— "Tho' Old Bob is Lame, he must not beg, So step in here and give him a Leg 222 TAVERN ANECDOTES Over the Stile. Then away you go And let all your friends know— we sell THE BEST BEER UNDER THE SUN. LACTIC FERMENTATION.-This is the conver- sion of saccharine matter into lactic acid, and is caused by the vinous fermentation becoming sluggish, owing to the use of too small a quantity of yeast, or delay in starting the vats. The lactic frequently accompanies the viscous fermentation. It may be recognised by its odour. LAMBS' WOOL.-A beverage consisting of the juice of apples roasted over spiced ale. A great day for this drink was the feast of apple-gathering, called al maes Abhal, pronounced "lammas ool," and corrupted into "lambs' wool." THE LAST is doubtless an appropriate sign for a house of call for the sons of St. Crispin; which, for variety sake, they paint red, blue, &c. At other times it is gilt, then it shines forth as the Golden Last. Under the sign of the Last was "All day long I have sought good beer, And, at the last, I have found it here." LATTICE.-Many inns formerly had this sign, and the ancient alehouse was generally distin- guished by a lattice, not by a glass window, the AND SAYINGS. 223 latter substance being, as Gifford supposes, too fragile for the nature of the customers. 'He called me even now by word through a red lattice, and could see no part of his face from the window." (SHAKSPEARE'S Second Part of King Henry IV., ii. 2.) The tavern lattice was painted in various colours. The Green Lattice occurs on a trade token, whilst not many years ago there was one in Brownlow Street, Holborn, which had been corrupted into the "Green Lettuce!" LEATHER BOTTLE.-The pendant bottle is the charge in the arms of the Company of Bottle- makers and Horners of London; the leather bottle, that induced the exulting lyrist of the olden day to "Wish that in heaven his soul may dwell, That first devised the leather bottel." In the roll of accompts of the personal expenditure of John, King of France, while prisoner in England, for the year July 1st, 1359, ending July 8th, 1360, Occurs the item, "Pour deux boteilles de cuir achetées à Londres, pour Monseigneur Philippe, 95. 8d." The early interlude of "The Four Elements," printed by Rastell, in or about 1519, has a line- "So merely pypys the mery botell." This was doubtless no other than the leather bottle, that has so frequently as a sign figured 224 TAVERN ANECDOTES as a will-o'-the-wisp to many a jolly carouser ; but these have vanished. "The old leather bottle" in a solitary instance is to be found in Leather Lane, at the corner of Charles Street; and, although it once gave character and distinc- tion to Messrs. Hoare's banking-house, opposite St. Dunstan's Church in Fleet Street, the leather bottle is placed over the entrance, visible to every passer-by; but, like that in Leather Lane, it is profaned by gilding: it is the golden, and not, "the leather bottle." In the "Little London Directory, 1677," is noticed "James Hore, at the Golden Bottle in Cheapside." LABOUR IN VAIN.-Two women scrubbing a negro white implies "labour in vain;" in which a quibble seems embodied. Women formerly were brewers; Skelton, the poet-laureate in the reign of Henry VIII., in laudatory rhymes has eternized Elinour Rummen, referring to an alewife so called, who dwelt- "In a certain steed, beside Lederhede, Shee is a tonnish gib, the deuill and she be sib; But to make vp my tale, shee brueth nappy ale, And makes thereof pot-sale." The alewives of England are commemorated in ballads and figured in churchwardens' accounts. of the olden day everywhere. In the Beaufoy Collection of traders' tokens there is one of Will Baggott, brewer, on which there are two women AND SAYINGS. 225 scrubbing a negro. STREET HILL. Here the allegory implies that Will Baggott, by his sign, defied competition; to produce ale like his would be "labour in vain." The sign obtained distinction, and Hatton, in his "New View of London," 1708, notices it as "Old Fish Street, or Labour-in-Vain Hill." Ale taverns were formerly distinct from wine taverns, and were generally brewhouses as well; this double business of making and selling ale being almost entirely in the hands of women, and held in low estimation. So late as the close of the fifteenth century, Fleet Street was tenanted almost wholly by breweresses, or alewives, and makers of felt caps. The price of the ale was regulated by the ale-conner of the ward, to whom it was sent by the breweress as soon as it was brewed. The ale-measures had to be authorized by the seal of the alderman of the ward. The alewives needed sharply to be looked after, for we trace their delinquencies by a string of penalties-fine, imprisonment, and pillory. No breweress or other retailer of ale was to keep her doors open after curfew, under heavy penalties. Reverse: IN OVLD FISH LAMB.-The Lamb solus, and in combination with other things, are somewhat common signs throughout the length and breadth of this our "snug little island:" Q 226 TAVERN ANECDOTES "Oh, 'tis a snug little island! A right little, tight little island! Search the globe round, none can be found So happy as this little island.” The sign of the Lamb and Lark is a typical representation of the proverb, "Go to bed with the Lamb and rise with the Lark." LICENSED VICTUALLER.—What means the term. "Licensed Victualler," strictly applied? is a ques- tion not generally answerable; but an organ spe- cially interesting itself in the trade has just recently attributed its origin to the fact that in early periods of the history of England, ale and bread seem to have been considered as equally victuals, or actual necessaries of life. This appears from the various assizes or ordinances of bread and ale which were passed from time to time for the purpose of regu- lating the price and quality of these articles. In the fifty-first year of the reign of Henry III., 1266, a statute was passed, the preamble of which alludes to earlier statutes on the same subject, by which a graduated scale was established for the price of ale throughout England. It declared that "when a quarter of wheat was sold for 3s. or 3s. 4d., or 24 pence, and a quarter of oats for 15 pence, brewers in cities could afford to sell two gallons of ale for a penny, and out of cities three gallons for a penny; and when in a town (in burgo) three gallons are sold for a penny, out of a town they may and ought to sell four." In process of time this uniform scale of AND SAYINGS. 227 price became extremely inconvenient and oppres- sive; and by a statute of Henry VIII. it was enacted that brewers should charge for their ale such prices as might appear convenient and suffi- cient in the discretion of the justices of the peace within whose jurisdiction they were situate. Ac- cording to one of our authorities, the price of ale was regulated in this manner, and the quality was ascertained by officers of great antiquity, called gustatores cervisiæ―aletasters or aleconners, whose place has been taken by the modern "bread cooper." The claims of licensed victuallers to con- sideration were forcibly put by Mr. Thomas Barker at the annual dinner of the Manchester Association on Wednesdey night [Sept. 1874]. He stated that the capital invested in the liquor traffic in the country is upwards of 117,000,000, being almost equal in value to the woollen, cotton, and iron trades combined. A population of 846,000 derive their livelihood from the trade. LINCOLN'S INN DINNERS.-On the evening of the coronation-day of our gracious Queen, the benchers of Lincoln's Inn gave the students a feed; when a certain profane wag, in giving out a verse of the National Anthem, which he was solicited to lead in a solo, took that opportunity of stating a grievance as to the modicum of port allowed, in manner and form following- Q 2 228 TAVERN ANECDOTES "C 'Happy and glorious- Three half-pints 'mong four of us, Heaven send no more of us. God save the Queen !" which ridiculous perversion of the author's meaning was received with a full chorus, amid tremendous shouts of laughter and applause. LION. The Lion is a very general sign through- out the country. Being a national emblem, it is used by various tradesmen, but we do not see how it is characteristic of the trade of a publican: it is more appropriate to the profession of a sailor or a soldier. Lions are of many colours, positions, and signification; thus, the Black Lion comes from the Flemings. 66 Au noir lyon la fleur-de-lis Prist la terre de ça le Lys.” GODEFROY DE PARIS. Blue, the badge of the Earl of Mortimer; also of Denmark. Crowned, the badge of Henry VIII. Golden, the badge of Henry I., and also of Percy Duke of Northumberland. Passant gardant (walking and showing a full face), the device of England. Red, of Scotland; also the badge of John of Gaunt, Duke of Lancaster, who assumed this badge as a token of his claim to the throne of Castile. Rampant, the device of Scotland. AND SAYINGS. 229 Rampant, with the tail between its legs and turned over its back, the badge of Edward IV. as Earl of March. Sleeping, the device of Richard I. Statant gardant (i.e., standing and showing a full face), the device of the third Duke of Norfolk. White, the device of the Dukes of Norfolk; also of an Earl of Surrey, one Earl of Mortimer, and the Fitz-Hammonds. "For who, in field or foray slack, Saw the blanche lion e'er fall back?" (Duke of Norfolk). SIR WALTER SCOTT, Lay of the Last Minstrel. Blue seems frequently to represent silver; thus we have the Blue Boar of Richard III., the Blue Lion of the Earl of Mortimer, the Blue Swan of Henry IV., the Blue Dragon, &c. In connexion with public-house-signery the Lion is to be met with in very strange company, for he may be seen with an Adder, a Ball, Castle, Dolphin, Goat, Horseshoe, Lamb, Pheasant, Snake, Swan, Tun, and, although last not least in signifi- cance and much more appropriate to the place and purpose, we find the "Lion in the Wood" and the "Lion of the Desert." LL. WHISKY.-Lord-Lieutenant Whisky. Mr. Kinahan being requested to preserve a certain cask of whisky highly approved of by his excellency, marked it with the initials LL., and ever after called this particular quality LL. Whisky. 230 TAVERN ANECDOTES LIQUEURS.-The liqueur parfait amour, notwith- standing the attraction of its name, is no longer in repute with the ladies; they have adopted Maras- chino in its place. Once upon a time, when a certain eminent diplomatist was asked by his cuisine petit souper for a female toast to parallel with the masculine one of "Women and Wine," his excel- lency ventured to suggest "Men and Maraschino,". and the suggestion received the compliment of very general applause. LONDON APPRENTICE.-A house so styled is situated in Old Street Road, near to Shoreditch Church. Numerous examples will be found in provincial towns. Pictorially, the London Appren- tice is represented plucking out a lion's heart with each hand. A favourite ballad of our ancestors, entitled "The Honour of an Apprentice of London," wherein he declared his matchless man- hood and brave adventures done by him in Turkey, and by what means he married the king's daughter of that same country, originated the sign. The London Apprentice in the Old Street Road, as mentioned above, was, some forty years ago, an old-fashioned suburban public-house, situated at a rounding-corner, with a large tree just without its doors, and seats and forms for the accommodation of passers-by. A large and flaming sign of the London Apprentice, with his arms thrust up to the elbows into the mouths of two angry-looking lions, AND SAYINGS. 231 was exhibited on a swinging signboard, and eagerly gazed upon by the citizens and 'prentice boys of London when taking their walks abroad to get a mouthful of fresh air. LONDON COACH OFFICES. The old London Coach Offices are still in memory, full of romance, and the old yards full of pleasant recollections. Who can forget the comfortable-looking office filled with parcels; the square courtyard, around which the inn extended in sleeping apartments for the numerous travellers; the long galleries, with their quaint balusters and rough-hewn upright oaken pillars of support; the pretty laughing chambermaid; the roguish boots; the busy stable- men beneath; the farmers' carts and horses; the farmer's wife on pillion; the fifty men and boys, all busy in the yard; and then the four handsome steeds harnessed to the smart old coach, all polish and cleanliness, bright as a new pin, and the admiration of all? The coachman, the guard (always excellent fellows), the passengers, insides and outsides, box-seats, roof, or dickey, what a struggle for dignity of position in those days; why, to ride through a town, drawn by four magnificent horses, on the box-seat of one of the old coaches, with horn blowing, and all the inhabitants out to gaze, elevated you to the dignity of an emperor. The polish of the harness; the pride of the horses; the glory of the grooms; the dignified passengers, 232 TAVERN ANECDOTES free as the air-no looking in or out then—are all memories of the olden time that we fail to realize in the faintest degree in any modern railway travelling. All is ready for the start; the yard has a goodly number of spectators, and many friends of the passengers; the horses prance in their delight, the coachman takes the ribbons; the grooms remove the rugs, giving at the same moment the last smoooth touch to the well-dressed animals; the words "All right," and away they go, the envy of each beholder, and the glory of the delighted traveller. The old London coach offices, the dear old spots hallowed with the pleasant thoughts of home, school, friendly visits, sweet- hearts, and country farms. Even the old mail coach, with all its cumbrous works and awkward axles, had its romance, its many glories, and its triumphs of travel. The royal red; the scarlet and gold liveries; the high-bred steeds; the four- in-hand, worthy of regal guiding. These grand old lumberers are banished from the earth, never to return; yet a quarter of a century since they were one of the London sights, starting from the Post Office each night at eight P.M. to every point of the kingdom, with thousands of horses ready at every point to carry them on. Brilliant in colour -radiant in light-triumphant in dignity-stately in regal consequence, they were deemed worthy of an anniversary, and each year, on the birthday of the Sovereign, they appeared in procession, var- AND SAYINGS. 233 nished and dressed to the highest degree of polish; steeds all equal to the great "Eclipse;" model drivers; elegant harness; whips, the daintiest and the longest; and multitudes to look and to admire. all the postal grandeur. It was the Post Office in state the climax of the machinery of St. Martin's- le-Grand. This ancestral splendour was snuffed out in an instant by steam. Parcels were delivered many hours before the mail coach could make its appearance, and its greatest speed fell into derision in contrast to fifty miles an hour. The first mail coach from London arrived in Glasgow July 7th, 1788, and took sixty-three hours to make the journey; in 1832 it took no more than forty-four hours; in 1834 there were sixty-one coaches to and from Glasgow. At the present day any one may leisurely take his breakfast at his Arundel Club, or at Carr's, King's Head Hotel, 265, Strand, London, W.C.; lunch at Bradford; and be comfort- ably in time for the six o'clock table d'hôte of any one of the principal hotels of Glasgow. LONGFELLOW'S INN. Tom Longfellow's name is most justly his due— Long his neck, long his bill, which is very long too; Long the time ere your horse to the stable is led, Long before he's rubb'd down, and much longer till fed; 234 TAVERN ANECDOTES Long indeed you may sit in a comfortless room- Long and dirty, and long ere your dinner shall come; Long the often-told tale that your host will relate; Long his face while complaining how long people eat. Long may Longfellow long ere he shall see me again; Long 'twill be ere I long for Tom Longfellow's Inn.. Mr. Thomas Longfellow's face must have looked longer than usual when he saw the above lines over the mantelshelf in the Coffee-room of his inn, the Golden Lion, at Brecon. LOVING, or GRACE CUP.-A large cup passed round from guest to guest at state banquets and city feasts. Miss Strickland says that Margaret Atheling, wife of Malcolm Kenmore, in order to induce the Scotch to remain for grace, devised the grace cup, which was filled with the choicest wine, and of which each guest was allowed to drink aď libitum after grace had been said. (Historic Sketches.) On the introduction of Christianity, the custom of wassailing was not abolished, but it assumed a religious aspect. The monks called the wassail bowl the poculum charitatis (loving cup), a term still retained in the London Companies, but in the Universities the term Grace Cup is more general. In drinking the loving cup, two adjacent persons always stand up together, one to drink AND SAYINGS. 235. and the other to pledge his safety while so occupied. MADEIRA WINE.-Some people are very proud of their wine, and court your approbation by inces- sant questions. One of a party being invited by Sir Thomas Grouts to a second glass of his "old East India," he replied, "One was a dose-had rather not double the Cape:" and, at the first glass of champagne, he inquired whether there had been a plentiful supply of gooseberries last year. " MAGPIE.—The Pie, now called the Magpie, is a contraction of the words "maggoty or magata pie,' deduced from the French word magot, implying a caprice, a whim, a quaint little figure, or a fancy; an appellation the Pie appears to have obtained from its drolleries. A token was issued from the Pye without Aldgate, so early as 1648, and the initials of the taverner and his wife, on the reverse, were then W. A. G. De Foe, in his "Memoirs of the Plague, 1665,” notices in particular "the Pye Tavern, over against the end of Houndsditch." He describes the dreadful set of fellows who there kept late hours in a room next the street; and, as the dead-cart passed, followed by grieving persons, whose relations were being borne to the great pit then opened in the churchyard, assailed them by jeers and raillery that no remonstrance could abate; yet ere a fortnight had elapsed, all were them- selves thrown lifeless corpses into the same hole, 236 TAVERN ANECDOTES and he who was forward and most loud in his im- precations and scoffs was the first to pass to "that bourne from whence no traveller returns." MAGPIE AND CROWN.--A ridiculous association, but when once joined not to be separated without injury to the concern, as it happened in the case of a Mr. Kenton, who was originally waiter at a house of this name in Aldgate, famous for its ale, which was sent out in great quantities. The landlord becoming rich, pride followed, and he thought of giving wing to the Magpie, retaining only the royal title of the Crown. The ale went out for a short time, as usual, but it was not from the Magpie and Crown, and the customers fancied it was not so good as usual, consequently the business fell off. The landlord died, and Kenton purchased the con- cern, caught the Magpie, and restored it to its ancient situation; the ale improved in the opinion of the public, and its consumption increased so much that Kenton at his death left behind him property amounting to 60,000l, chiefly the profits of the Magpie and Crown ale. MAGPIE AND STUMP.-This bird does rest on a stump, so that the association is not improper, although unmeaning. The sign is of frequent oc- currence, both in town and country. The readers of the "Ingoldsby Legends" will recollect the AND SAYINGS. 237 Hon. Mr. Sucklethumbkin's story of "The Execu- tion," and that- "My Lord Tomnoddy got up one day; It was half after two, He had nothing to do, So his lordship rang for his cabriolet ;" and asked his Tiger Tim- "What may a Nobleman find to do ?” Tiger Tim informs his master that "there's a man to be hang'd," at which— "My Lord Tomnoddy jump'd up at the news, Run to M'Fuze, And Lieutenant Tregooze, And run to Sir Carnaby Jenks of the Blues." And declared that to- See a man swing At the end of a string With his neck in a noose, will be quite a new thing." So his lordship, having assembled a lot of his pals, proceeds in his cab, with a lining of drab, through street and through square, with his high-trotting mare, at a very quick pace, until he "Turns down the Old Bailey; In front of the gaol, he " Pulls up at the door of the gin-shop, and gaily Cries, 'What must I fork out to-night, my trump, For the whole first-floor of the Magpie and Stump ? It will be remembered that my Lord Tomnoddy and Co., although they took up their position at twelve o'clock the night preceding the execution, set to drinking so fast, that 238 TAVERN ANECDOTES 66 Just as the dawn is beginning to peep, The whole of the party are fast asleep.” And they do not awake until "The fellow's been cut down and taken away." MAKING A GRIDIRON.-A notorious tippler was one day walking along in his usual inebriated state, when he stepped upon a grating, which was inad- vertently out of place. The result was that he and the grating disappeared into the cellar. After picking himself up, the fellow looked round to take a survey of the place, when he espied the grating, which he took hold of, with the remark, "Well, I have made a gridiron by the performance anyhow." MAKING CHAMPAGNE.- The knavish hotel- keepers of Nassau mix the mineral water with wine and sugar, and sell the compound for cham- pagne. A recent traveller overheard a waiter at Fachingen ask his master whether he might serve the English gentlemen with the champagne made in the morning! MAKING TODDY.-A North Briton having drank plentifully of the "Mountain dew" overnight, in the city of Perth, felt the pain of thirst early in the morning, and repaired to the river Tay in order to allay it. One of his companions seeing him in the act of ladling up the water with his hand, asked him, "What are you about, Donald?" "Making toddy," was Donald's answer. “But AND SAYINGS. 239 where is the whisky?" "Why," replies Donald, continuing his cooling lotion, "you know I drank that last night." MALMSEY WINE is the wine of Malvasia in Candia. "Thane spyces unsparyly thay spendyde thereaftyre, Malvesye and muskadelle, thase mervelyous drynkes.” Morte d'Arthure. MARIGOLD-MARYGOLD.-So called in honour of the Virgin Mary, and hence the introduction of 46 marigold" windows in lady chapels. "This riddle, Cuddy, if thou canst explain : What flower is that which bears the Virgin's name; The richest metal added to the same."" GAY'S Pastoral. As a sign, the Marygold, it is said, arose from a popular reading of the sign of the Sun, and has been considered as an emblem of Queen Mary. In a black-letter ballad of the period we find— "To Mary our Queen, that flower so sweet, This marigold I do apply; For that name doth serve so meet, And property in each party. For her enduring patiently The storms of such as list to scold At her doings, without cause why, Loath to see spring this marigold." Quod WILLIAM FORREST, Priest. In the first volume of the collection of Roxburghe Ballads, now deposited in the British Museum, there is one entitled, "The Maid's Comfort," 240 TAVERN ANECDOTES wherein the young man during a walk plucks a marigold, which, being closed by the evening sun, he pleasantly compares to his lady-love, and infers that by the sun the flower can be restored, and proposes that if she will be his marigold he will be her sun; when, after the usual coying and toying to be found in ballads and real life, the lady consents, and all is well, for the ballad winds up with- "And this for truth, report hast to me told, He is her sun, and she his marigold.” The banking-house of Messrs. Child and Co. was, in King James the First's reign, a public ordinary, the sign being the Marygold. “The marigold that goes to bed with the sun, And with him rises weeping."-Winter's Tale, act iv. As an ordinary it appears to have borne a riotous character, and at the wardmote held on St. Thomas's Day, December 21st, 1619, Richard Crompton, keeping an ordinary at the Marygold, in Fleet Street, was presented for "disturbing the quiet of John Clarke, being next neighbours, late in the nights, from time to time, by ill disorder." Messrs. Child are also in possession of the original sign-a full-blown marygold, exposed to a meridian sun, and round it the motto, “ Ainsi mon ame,” carved in oak, but painted and gilded in part. It is over the door in the front office, and may be readily scanned by any person whose business with AND SAYINGS. 241 the house or inquiring mind may draw thither. Among the curious papers recently discovered on the shelves of Messrs. Child and Co., in the upper room over Temple Bar, are several of historic in- terest. One file of ancient documents contained, inter alia, several receipts signed by the executors of Sir Peter Lely, who lived hard by in Covent Garden. With them was one of Nell Gwyn's doctor's bills, which runs as follows: "Received by the hands of Mr. Child the summe of one hondert and nine pound yn full of all remedes and medecins delivered to Mrs. Ellin Gwyn, deceased, I say received by me this 17 of November, 1688; Christianus Harell, £109.. 00.. oo." In the same parcel was discovered an acknowledgment for the sum of £200, received from the Duke of Bolton, signed by Lady Rachel Russell, the widow of William, Lord Russell, who was executed in Lin- coln's Inn Fields in 1684. MARINER.-The Mariner, like the sign of the Jolly Sailor, Mariner's Compass, Ship, Boat, Barge, &c., has been adopted in seaport towns, evidently in compliment to the seafaring man, as others have adopted the names of some favourite or fortunate admiral, commodore, captain, &c. MARINES.-Empty bottles. The marines are looked down upon by the regular seamen, who consider them useless, like empty bottles. A R 242 TAVERN ANECDOTES marine officer was once dining at a mess-table, when the Duke of York said to the man in waiting, " Here, take away these marines." The officer demanded an explanation, when the colonel replied, "They have done their duty well, and are prepared to do it again." The MARTIN DRUNK.-Very intoxicated indeed; a drunken man "sobered" by drinking more. feast of St. Martin (November II) used to be held as a day of great debauch. Hence Baxter uses the word Martin as the synonyme of a drunkard : "The language of Martin is there (in heaven) a stranger."-Saints' Everlasting Rest. MAY-POLE.-In various parts of the country may-poles may be observed at all times of the year, and some persons have adopted the title for their houses, as a house of resort during the merry- making in the beginning of May and at other times of jollity. The last may-pole in London was sta- tioned where the New Church in the Strand, opposite Somerset House, is now erected. "Amid that area wide they took their stand, Where the tall may-pole once o'erlooked the Strand; But now (so Anne and Piety ordain) A Church collects the saints of Drury Lane.” POPE, The Dunciad. This pole was taken down in 1717. Its height above ground was originally above one hundred feet. It was afterwards fixed in Wanstead Park, AND SAYINGS. 243 Essex, as the supporter of a very large telescope. "This may-pole,” says Cunningham, in his charm- ing story of "Nell Gwyn," "was long a conspicuous ornament to the West End of London, rose to a great height above the surrounding houses, and was surmounted by a crown and vane, with the royal arms richly gilded. It had been set up again immediately after the Restoration. Great ceremonies attended its erection, twelve picked seamen superintending the tackle, and ancient people clapping their hands and exclaiming, "Golden days begin to appear!' Nelly must have remembered the erection of the may-pole at the bottom of the lane in which she was born; but there is little save some gable ends and old timber points near her 'lodging's door' to assist in carry- ing the mind back to the days of the may-pole and the merry monarch, whose recall it was designed to commemorate." In old authors the name of ale-stake is often to be met with, as signifying a may-pole, to point out the places in the villages where refreshments were to be obtained. MAZER.-A cup; so called from the British masarn (maple); like our copus-cups in Cam- bridge, and the loving cup of the London cor- poration. "Bring hither,' he said, 'the mazers four My noble fathers loved of yore.' SIR WALTER SCOTT, Lord of the Isles. R 2 244 TAVERN ANECDOTES MEAN SPIRITS under disappointment, like small beer in a thunderstorm, always turn sour. MEAT AND DRINK.-A man who had been quaffing beer till he was completely drunk, hic- cupped out that beer was both meat and drink. Soon after, going home, he tumbled into a ditch ; on which a companion observed, that it was not only meat and drink, but washing and lodging too. MEET ME, &c.-An old soaker in Boston being found in the gutter one rainy night, the water making a clear breach over him from head to heels, was asked by a passer-by what he was doing there? "Oh," said he, "I agreed to meet a man here." MERMAID.—Of the Mermaid Tavern, in Cheap- side, about the site of which there has been endless controversy, Mr. Burn, in his book on "London Traders, Taverns, and Coffee-house Tokens in the Seventeenth Century," says, "The Mermaid in Bread Street, the Mermaid in Friday Street, and the Mermaid in Cheape, were all one and the same. The tavern situated behind had a way to it from these thoroughfares, but was nearer to Bread Street. than Friday Street." Hence the dispute of anti- quaries. "The site of the Mermaid," continues Mr. Burn, "is clearly defined, from the circum- stance of W. R., a haberdasher of small wares 'twixt Wood Street and Milk Street, adopting the AND SAYINGS. 245 same sign 'Over against the Mermaid Tavern, in Cheapside."" The tavern was destroyed in the Great Fire. Here Sir Walter Raleigh is, by one of the traditions, said to have instituted "The Mermaid Club." Gifford, in his "Ben Jonson," has thus described the club :-" About this time (1603) Jonson probably began to acquire that turn for conviviality for which he was afterwards noted. Sir Walter Raleigh, previously to his unfortunate engagement with the wretched Cobham and others, had instituted a meeting of beaux esprits at the Mermaid, a celebrated tavern in Friday Street. Of this club, which combined more talent and genius than ever met together before or since, our author was a member, and here for many years he regu- larly repaired, with Shakspeare, Beaumont, Fletcher, Seldon, Cotton, Carew, Martin, Donne, and many others, whose names, even at this distant period, call up a mingled feeling of reverence and respect.” But this is doubted. Yes, and we should think so; for in our opinion it is all about as true as the candle eating the cat, W. H. Ireland's Shakspearian forgeries, or that Shakspeare wrote Shakspeare. A writer in the Athenæum, Sept. 16th, 1865, states : "The origin of the common tale of Raleigh found- ing the Mermaid Club,' of which Shakspeare is said to have been a member, has not been traced. Is it older than Gifford ?" Again: "Gifford's apparent invention of the 'Mermaid Club,' prove to us that Raleigh founded the 'Mermaid Club,' 246 TAVERN ANECDOTES that the wits attended it under his presidency, and you will have made a real contribution to our knowledge of Shakspeare's time, even if you fail to show that our poet was a member of that club." A contemporary writer, after quoting the above extract, says, "The tradition, it is thought, must be added to the long list of Shakspearian doubts." To which we say-Hear! hear! hear! But we nevertheless have a noble record left of the wit- combats here in the celebrated epistle of Beaumont to Ben Jonson- "Methinks the little wit I had is lost Since I saw you; for wit is like a rest Held up at tennis, which men do the best With the best gamesters. Done at the Mermaid?' What things have we seen Heard words that have been So nimble, and so full of subtle flame, As if that every one from whence they came Had meant to put his whole wit in jest, And had resolved to live a fool the rest Of his dull life. Then, when there hath been thrown Wit able enough to justify the town For three days past-wit that might warrant be For the whole city to talk foolishly Till they were cancelled; and when that was gone We left an air behind us, which alone Was able to make two next companies Right witty, though but downright fools, more wise.” "Many," says Fuller, "were the wit-combats be- twixt him (Shakspeare) and Ben Jonson, which two I beheld like a Spanish great galleon and an English man-of-war. Master Jonson (like the AND SAYINGS. 247 former), was built far higher in learning, solid, but slow in his performances; Shakspeare, with the English man-of-war, lesser in bulk, but lighter in sailing, could turn with all tides, and take advan- tage of all winds, by the quickness of his wit and invention." These combats, one is willing to think, although without any evidence at all, took place at the Mermaid on such evenings as Beaumont so glowingly describes. But all we really know is, that Beaumont and Ben Jonson met at the Mer- maid, and Shakspeare might have been of the company. Fuller, Charles Knight reminds us, was only eight years old when Shakspeare died; so that which he says he beheld of the wit-combats must have been in his mind's eye. And we beg to remark that Beaumont was twelve years the junior of the lushy and boastful Ben Jonson. There was also a Mermaid in Cornhill. Mr. Burn, in his Beaufoy Catalogue of Tokens, states that the vintner, buried in the parish of St. Peter's, Cornhill, the 3rd of February, 1606, "gave forty shillings yearly to the parson for preaching four sermons every year, so long as the lease of the Mermaid Tavern in Cornhill should endure. He also gave to the poor of the said parish thirteen penny loaves every Sunday during the aforesaid lease." Wher Dun, who kept the Mermaid Tavern in Cornhill, being in the room with some witty gallants, one, who it seems knew his wife, too boldly, in a fantastic humour, cried out, "I'll lay five pounds there's a 248 TAVERN ANECDOTES cuckold in this company." "Tis Dun!" said another. (Coffee-house Fests, 1688.) The sign was also used by printers. John Rastall, brother-in-law of Sir Thomas More, living at the "sygne of the Mearemayd in Chepesyde, next to Pollys (Paul's) Gate," printed "The Pastyme of the People" (1529); from another Mermaid Press we have “A Newe mery and wittie Comedie or Interlude, newly imprinted, treating vpon the Historie of Iacob and Esau, taken out of the xxvij. chap. of the first booke of Moses, entituled Genesis, imprinted at London by Henrie Bynneman, dwelling in Knight- rider Streate, at the signe of the Mermayde. Anno Domini, 1568." At the Mermaid Inn, at Rochester, a clergyman called some time since, and ordered dinner for the Dean of Canterbury, whom he said he had met on the road, the Canon of Winchester, the Provost of Lichfield, the Rector of Orpington, the Vicar of Romney, and one of the King's chap- lains, all of which livings were held by the dean. The landlord made ample provision; and when the dean arrived he found a large table set out, and expressed his surprise that Boniface had shown him into a room intended for a large party. "No, please your reverence, for Parson Singlechurch called about two hours ago, and told me to provide or your honour and the Canon of Winchester, and I know not how many more." "Well, well," inter- rupted the dean, who soon perceived the joke, “I AND SAYINGS. 249 see I ought to have asked Mr. Singlechurch to dinner." MISCHIEF, or the Man Loaded with Mischief; or, as at other times termed, the Load of Mischief, was the sign of a public-house, No. 414, Oxford Street, London. It represented a man carrying a woman, a magpie, and a monkey, the woman with a glass of gin in her hand, the magpie picking at the man's head on the one side, while the monkey is scratching at the other. An engraving of the sign used to be exhibited in the window, signed: "Drawn by Experience; engraved by Sorrow." Under it is the following rhyme- “A monkey, a magpie, and a wife, Is the true emblem of strife." MITRE.—The Mitre is an ancient sign, coeval with the introduction and establishment of prelacy in England. The Mitre in Cheape is noticed anterior to 1475, in the parish records of St. Michael's, Cheapside. In the play of Sir Thomas More (temp. Queen Elizabeth, p. 17), Harl. M.S. 7368, Robin says, "Faith, Harrie, the head drawer at the Miter by the great conduite, called me up and we went to breakfast into St. Anne's Lane." The third act of Wilkins's Miseries of Inforced Marriage, 1607, is laid at the Mitre Tavern, in Bread Street; the Dolphin and Pomegranate being there characterized as the chief company 250 TAVERN ANECDOTES rooms. Sir Francis Ilford, one of the principal characters in the comedy, says, "How ill it will stand with the flourish of your reputations when men of rank and note communicate, that I Frank Ilford, gentleman, was inforced from the Mitre in Bread Street to the Counter in the Poultry." In Middleton's A Mad World, my Masters, act v., 1608, Sir Bounteous Progress, an old rich knight, pleased at the arrival of Richard Folly-Wit, his grandson, and his companions the players, who proffer to enact at his entertainment a pleasant comedy, called The Slip, exclaims-" Why! this will be a true feast, a right Mitre supper, a play and all. Cover a table for the players! Some sherry for my lord's players there." There is a trade token in the Beaufoy Collection in the City of London Corporation Library-“At the Mitre in Cheap-a mitre in the field. Rev. side: Forget not-in the field, T. D." Thomas Dainty was possibly the "T. D.," and issuer of the Mitre Tavern token in 1649, or soon after, and relin- quished it for the Jackanapes, a neighbouring tavern; Jackanapes Lane being the eastern end of Paternoster Row. Richard Smith, in his Obituary, Sloane MS. 886, notices, "June 4th, 1652, died Tho. Dainty, at the Jack-a-Napes, in Cheapside." If this surmise be correct, his successor at the Mitre was not long-lived, as the same record mentions, "May 17th, 1654, died Mr. Scattergood, vintner, at the Mitre, Cheapside.” AND SAYINGS. 251 The Mitre Tavern, in Cheapside, was destroyed in the Great Fire of London, 1666, and the site appears to have been applied to other buildings. The Mitre, an old tavern in Wood Street, Cheap- side, was kept in Charles II.'s time by William Proctor, who died insolvent in 1665. "18th Sept. 1660," Pepys says, "to the Mitre Tavern, in Wood Street (a house of the greatest note in London). Here some of us fell to handycap, a sport that I never knew before." And again, "31st July, 1665, Proctor, the vintner, of the Mitre, in Wood Street, and his son, are dead this morning of the plague, he having laid out abundance of money there, and was the greatest vintner for some time in London for great entertainments." The Mitre Tavern, Fleet Street, was one of those houses which for more than two centuries was the constant resort of all the wits about town, and even the name of Shakspeare throws its halo around this place. In some MS. poems by Richard Jackson, a con- temporary of the great poet, are some verses, beginning "From the rich "From the rich Lavinian shore," inscribed as "Shakspeare's rhyme, which he made at ye 'Mitre' in Fleet Street”. "Give me a cup of rich Canary wine, Which was the Mitre's [drink] and now is mine; Of which had Horace and Anacreon tasted, Their lives as well as lines till now had lasted." The balcony of the Mitre was set on flames 252 TAVERN ANECDOTES during the Great Fire, and had to be pulled down. The tavern is mentioned in Barry's comedy, entitled Ram Alley, or Merrie Tricks, 1611, act iii. SC. I- "Go, run, fly: and afar off enquire, If that the Lady Sommerfield be there ; If there, know what news, and meet me strait At the Mitre door in Fleet Street; away, To get rich wives men must not use delay." It was to the Mitre, in June, 1763, Boswell came by solemn appointment to meet Dr. Johnson, so long the god of his idolatry. They had first met at the shop of Davis, the actor and bookseller, and afterwards near an eating-house in Butcher Row. Boswell describes his feelings with delightful self-complacency. "We had," he says, "a good supper and port wine, of which Johnson then sometimes drank a bottle. The orthodox High Church sound of the Mitre, the figure and manner of the celebrated Samuel Johnson, the extraordinary power and precision of his conversation, and the pride arising from finding myself admitted as his companion, produced a variety of sensations, and a pleasing elevation of mind beyond what I had ever before experienced." That memorable even- ing Johnson ridiculed Colley Cibber's "Birthday Odes," and Paul Whitehead's "Grand Nonsense," and ran down Gray, who had declined his acquaint- He talked of other poets, and praised poor Goldsmith as a worthy man and excellent author. ance. AND SAYINGS. 253 Boswell fairly won the great man by his frank avowals and his adroit flattery. "Give me your hand," at last cried the great man to the small man: "I have taken a liking to you." They then finished a bottle of port wine each, and parted. between one and two in the morning. As they shook hands, on their way to No. 1, Inner Temple Lane, where Johnson then lived, Johnson said, Sir, I am glad we have met. I hope we shall pass many evenings, and mornings too, together." At Boswell's last Mitre evening with Johnson, May, 1778, Johnson would not leave Mrs. Williams, the blind old lady who lived with him, till he had promised to send her over some little dainty from the tavern. This was very kindly and worthy of the man who had the coat, but not the heart, of a bear. From 1728 to 1753 the Society of Anti- quarians met at the Mitre, and discussed subjects then wrongly considered frivolous. The Royal Society had also conclaves at the same celebrated tavern; and here, in 1733, Thomas Topham, the strongest man of his day, in the presence of eight persons rolled up with his iron fingers a large pewter dish. In 1788 the Mitre ceased to be a tavern, and became Macklin's Poets' Gallery, and lastly Saunders's auction rooms. It was taken down, in 1829, to enlarge the site for Messrs. Hoare's new banking-house. The now Mitre Tavern, in Mitre Court, was originally called Joe's Coffee-house; and on the shutting up of the old 254 TAVERN ANECDOTES Mitre in Fleet Street took its name; this being four years after Dr. Johnson's death. MOONRAKERS.-A house with this sign stands in Great Suffolk Street, Borough, and is well known to the inhabitants of that district. The natives of most counties are honoured by some ludicrous appellation by their neighbours, and a moonraker has long been synonymous with a Wiltshire man. What it really originated from we do not pretend to know; but the countrymen themselves say that they obtained it from the following circumstance:-"A party of Wiltshire smugglers, having deposited their casks of contra- band spirits in a pond, were in the act of raking them out on a moonlight night, when some excisemen came near. Upon the latter demand- ing what they were about, one of the smugglers, with affected naïveté, replied, "Whoy, don't you zee that cheese there?" Then a boy belonging to the party, taking the hint, and splashing the water with his rake, cried out, "Lord! Lord! there be a thousand little cheeses now, feyther; rake away, rake away, feyther!" The idea that these pre- tended simpletons had actually mistaken the reflec- tion of the moon for a cheese, so diverted the excise- men that they laughed heartily, and went away; and by this manœuvre, they say, the smugglers' kegs remained in safety for another and more favour- able opportunity. Another version substitutes AND SAYINGS. 255 thieves and a cheese for the smugglers and the brandy kegs. MOLLY MOG.-This celebrated beauty was an innkeeper's daughter, at Oakingham, Berks. She was the toast of all the gay sparks in the former half of the eighteenth century, and died in 1766 at an advanced age. Gay has a ballad on this "Fair Maid of the Inn." Molly Mog died at the age of sixty-seven, a spinster. Mr. Standen, of Arbor- field, the enamoured swain alluded to in the ballad, died 1730. It is said that Molly's sister Sally was the greater beauty. A portrait of Gay still hangs in the inn. MOONSHINE.-Illicit hollands, schiedam, and indeed smuggling in general, excused as a matter of moonshine-a mere nothing. MOTHER RED CAP.-This is the oldest tavern in Camden Town, and dates from early in the past century. Various accounts have been given of the original proprietress, but the generally received account is that she was one of the camp-women who attended the Duke of Marlborough during his campaigns; and that after the Peace of Utrecht she set up a hedge alehouse on the spot since distinguished by her portrait as a sign. Her house, though humble, and built only of mud, straw, and thatch, became, however, a favourite place of resort to the officers and soldiers who knew her in the army; and here, over a mug of her wholesome 256 TAVERN ANECDOTES home-brewed, they used to tell the story of their achievements and adventures during the wars. The old woman lived long enough to improve her fortunes and her dwelling, but whether she survived to the great age of a hundred and twenty is now uncertain. The modern sign, which is pro- bably a copy of the old one, represents her in her red cap, with a glass of ale in her hand; but the landlords or painters have long omitted to annex. the verses which formerly were appended to it, and of which the following is a copy— "Old Mother Red Cap, according to her tale, Lived twenty and a hundred years by drinking this good ale; It was her meat, it was her drink, and medicine beside, And if she still had drank this ale, she never would have died." MOURNING BUSH, ALDERSGATE STREET.-In the cellars of which have been traced the massive foundations of Aldersgate, and a portion of the City Wall which adjoins them. This tavern, originally one of the largest and most ancient in London, has a curious history. The Bush Tavern, its original name, used for its sign a real ivy-bush, which was hung up at the door, and it is believed to be the house referred to by John Stow in his Survey of London, where he says:-"Aldersgate hath been at sundry times increased with building, namely, on the south or inner side, a great frame. of timber (or house of wood, lathed and plastered) hath been added and set up, containing divers large AND SAYINGS. 257 rooms and lodgings, which are for an enlargement of the tavern." The Rev. Thomas Dudley Fos- broke, the archæologist, mentions a bunch of ivy- it being ready to hand, as the chief sign of taverns in the Middle Ages; a custom derived from the Romans, which brought with it the proverb, "Good wine needs no bush." Mention of the plant, we are told, is made only once in the Bible, and that in reference (2 Maccabees vi. 7) to the procession at the feast of Bacchus. Shakspeare alludes to the ivy four times; but among the poets, ancient or modern, that glorious song to the dainty old plant, the "Ivy Green" of Charles Dickens, will be best known. Ivy-bushes continued to do duty for a sign until superseded by a manufactured article of commerce made to resemble, or, at least to act in the stead of, ivy au naturel. The article in question contained three or four tiers of hoops, fastened one above the other with vine-leaves and grapes, richly carved and gilt. It is related by the historians of the period of the great Civil War, that the landlord of an inn in Aldersgate Street was so affected at the decollation of Charles I., that he had the carved representation of a bush, the sign of his house, painted black, and the house was long afterwards known as the Mourning Bush. "From this period," says Mr. Timbs, "the house is scarcely mentioned until the year 1719, when we find its name changed to the Fountain, whether from political feeling against the then exiled House of Stuart, or the S 258 TAVERN ANECDOTES whim of the proprietor, we cannot learn; though it is thought to have reference to a spring on the east side of the gate. Tom Brown mentions the Fountain satirically, with four or five topping taverns of the day, whose landlords are charged with doctoring their wines; but whose trade was so great that they stood fair for the alderman's gown. And, in a letter from an old vintner in the City to a newly set up one in Covent Garden, we find the following in the way of advice:-As all the world are wholly supported by hard and unintel- ligible names, you must take care to christen your wines by some hard name, the further fetched so much the better, and this policy will serve to re- commend the most execrable scum in your cellar. I could name several of our brethren to you, who now stand fair to sit in the seat of justice, and sleep in their golden chains at churches, that had been forced to knock off long ago, if it had not been for this artifice. It saved the Sun from being eclipsed; the Crown from being abdicated; the Rose from decaying, and the Fountain from being dry; as well as both the Devils from being con- fined in utter darkness. Twenty years later," adds Mr. Timbs, "in a large plan of Aldersgate Ward, 1739-40, we find the Fountain changed to the original Bush. The Fire of London had evidently, at this time, curtailed the original extent of the tavern. The exterior is shown in a print of the south side of Aldersgate. It has the character of AND SAYINGS. 259 the larger houses built after the Great Fire, and immediately adjoins the gate." The last notice of the Bush, as a place of entertainment, occurs in Maitland's "History of London," ed. 1722, where it is described as "the Fountain, commonly called the Mourning Bush, which has a back door into St. Anne's Lane, and is situate near unto Aldersgate." A writer in the Gentleman's Magazine for 1818 expressed a wish that the sign might be revived, as a memorial of the courage of the man in displaying his loyalty at such a time. The house was refitted in 1830. In the basement are original wine vaults of the old Bush; many of the walls are six feet thick, and bonded through with Roman brick. The house is now named after the late Lord Raglan. MOURNING CROWN.-It was in Phoenix Alley (now Hanover Court), near the middle of Long Acre, that the celebrated John Taylor, the "Water Poet," kept his tavern during the days of the Civil Wars and the Commonwealth. Here, adored by the poor and by those of his own station in life, he was not unfrequently visited by persons of high rank, who came to amuse themselves either with his oddities of genius, or with his really instructive and entertaining conversation. In 1647 Taylor pub- lished a work in verse, entitled, "The King's Most Excellent Majesties Wellcome to his owne House, Truly called the Honour of Hampton Court, who came thither on the 24th of August, and so conse- S 2 260 TAVERN ANECDOTES quently hoped and humbly desired to White Hall, written by his Majesties most humble servant, John Tailor (sic) one of the Yeomen of His MAJESTIES Guard. Alius Poeta Aquatticus. From my House at the Crowne in Globe Lane, alias Phoenix Alley, nere the Globe Taverne in Long Aker, 1647." After the king's death, in 1649, he converted his sign into the Morning Crowne, a name which gave such offence to the ruling powers that he was compelled to exchange it for another. He then hung up his own portrait with these lines- "There's many a King's head hanged up for a sign, And many a Saint's head, too-then why not mine;" at the same time calling it the Poet's Head. At this house it was that, in 1653, he breathed his last. His widow, it appears from the rate-books, con- tinued in the house, under the name of "Widow Taylor," five years after his death. Inasmuch as John Taylor, the "Water Poet," has, like some other notable men, two burial places, we have to add that we have ascertained that, without a doubt, he was buried at St. Martin's-in-the-Fields, London. MR. BRANDYTODDY'S. three reasons for not drinking are very characteristic of that gentleman. "Take something to drink?" said his friend to him one day. "No, thank you," replied Mr. B. "No! why not?" inquired his friend, in great amazement. "In the first place," returned Mr. AND SAYINGS. 261 Brandytoddy, "I am secretary of a temperance society that is to meet to-day, and I must show my temperance character. In the second place, this is the anniversary of my father's death, and out of respect for him I have promised never to drink on this day. And, in the third place, I have just taken something." MRS. HOPPNER'S GIN.-When Hoppner, the painter, was residing in a cottage a few miles from London, Porson, one afternoon, unexpectedly ar- rived there. Hoppner said that he could not offer him dinner, as Mrs. Hoppner had gone to town, and had carried with her the key of the closet which contained the wine. Porson, however, declared that he would be contented with a mutton chop, and beer from the next alehouse; and accordingly stayed to dine. During the evening, Porson said, "I am quite certain that Mrs. Hoppner keeps some nice bottle, for her private drinking, in her own bed- room; so pray try if you can lay your hands on it." His host assured him that Mrs. Hoppner had no such secret store; but Porson insisting that a search should be made, a bottle was at last dis- covered in the lady's apartment, to the surprise of Hoppner and the joy of Porson, who soon finished its contents, pronouncing it to be the best gin he had tasted for a long time. Next day, Hoppner, somewhat out of temper, informed his wife that Porson had drunk every drop of her concealed 262 TAVERN ANECDOTES dram. "Drunk every drop of it!" cried she. "Good Heavens, it was spirits of wine for the lamp!"-Watson's Life of Porson. MUG-HOUSE.-An alehouse was so called in the eighteenth century. Some hundred persons assem- bled in a large taproom to drink, sing, and spout. One of the number was made chairman. Ale was served to the guests in their own mugs, and the place where the mug was to stand was chalked on the table. MUGGINS.-A small borough magnate, a village leader. To mug is to drink, and Mr. Muggins is Mr. Drinker. MUGGY means half stupid with beer and tobacco smoke. Mug-houses were alehouses (q. v.); Gaelic, muig, cloudiness; Welsh, mygu, to smoke; British, mougu, to suffocate. Legonidec says, "Mouguz étouffant, qui rend la respiration difficile." NAG'S HEAD TAVERN, Cheapside, stood at the east end of Friday Street. A nag's head in stone is still to be seen in front of the house, No. 39, Cheapside, where, according to Roman Catholic scandal, the Protestant bishops, on Elizabeth's ac- cession, consecrated each other in a very irregular manner. Pennant thus relates the scandalous story:-"It was pretended by the adversaries of our religion, that a certain number of ecclesiastics, AND SAYINGS. 263 in their hurry to take possession of the vacant sees, assembled here, where they were to undergo the ceremony from Anthony Kitchen, alias Dunstan, Bishop of Llandaff, a sort of occasional conformist, who had taken the oaths of supremacy to Queen Elizabeth. Bonner, Bishop of London, then con- fined in prison, hearing of it, sent his chaplain to Kitchen, threatening him with excommunication in case he proceeded. The prelate, therefore, re- fused to perform the ceremony, on which, say the Roman Catholics, Parker and other candidates, rather than defer possession of their dioceses, determined to consecrate one another, which, says the story, they did without any sort of scruple, and Scory, a deposed bishop, being sent for, he began with Parker, who rose Archbishop of Canterbury." The simple re- futation of this lying story may be read in Strype's "Life of Archbishop Parker." The Nag's Head Tavern is shown in La Serre's print, "Entrée de la Reyne Mère du Roy," 1638. At the present day the Nag's Head, in the Borough, is a house well frequented by the men of Kent--and Kentish men! "I be come from Lunnun, you see—I warrant I smell of smoke like the Nag's Head chimney in the Borough. And the freshest news am, that hops have a heavy sale; wheat and malting samples command a brisk market; new tick beans am risen two shillings per quarters; and white and grey peas keep up to their prices." (George Colman, The Poor Gentleman.) It is noteworthy, that while 264 TAVERN ANECDOTES the Nag's Head as a sign is very common, the Horse's Head seldom or never occurs. NAKED BOY.-Formerly in East Street, Brighton, was the curious sign of the Naked Boy, the pre- decessor of the Rising Sun-old Strike-a-light's haunt-which was removed to make room for the erection of Brill's Baths. Over the front door was painted a naked child, with a roll of cloth under the left arm and a pair of shears in the right hand. Beneath the figure were the following lines- "So fickle is our English nation, I would be clothed if I knew the fashion." The sign was doubtless a satire upon the apish imitation of ever-varying French fashions which prevailed in the days of the Charleses. NANDO'S COFFEE-HOUSE, Fleet Street, was the house at the east corner of Inner Temple Lane, and next door to the shop of Bernard Lintot, the bookseller. At this coffee-house a large attendance of professional loungers was attracted by the fame of the punch and the charms of the landlady, which with the small wits were duly admired by and at the bar. The house formerly Nando's has been for many years a hairdresser's. It is falsely in- scribed "Formerly the palace of Henry VIII. and Cardinal Wolsey." The structure is of the time of James I. "Coffee and water-gruel to be had at AND SAYINGS. 265 the Rainbow and Nando's, at four; hot furmety, at Fleet Bridge, at seven; justice to be had at Doctors' Commons when people can get it; a lecture at Pinner's Hall, at ten; excellent peas- pottage and tripe in Baldwin's Gardens, at twelve. At night much fornication all over Covent Garden and five miles round it." (Tom Brown, "A Comical View of London and Westminster.") Nando's was a favourite retreat for Lord Chancellor Thurlow, before his advancement to the highest honours of the law. It was here, when only a young man, that his skill in argument obtained for him, from a stranger, the appointment of a junior counsel in the famous case of "Douglas v. the Duke of Hamilton." NAPPY ALE.-Strong ale is so called because it makes one nappy, or because it contains a nap or frothy head. NARROW ESCAPE.-Old Mr. Fuddle fell down in a puddle, just as a runaway horse and shay came dashing and splashing, and tearing that way. In helpless plight he roared with fright; the horse came quick, all gallop and kick, when the old man raised his great oak stick; the horse then shied a little aside, for sticks were no friends to his well- fed hide. Within a foot of Fuddle's toes, within an inch of his ruby nose, the wheel comes whizzing, and on it goes. Up rises Fuddle from out of the puddle, and stands on the road with a staggering 266 TAVERN ANECDOTES stride, then wheeling away from the scene of the fray, he flourished his stick with a hero's pride. NEGUS. So called from Colonel Negus, who first concocted it. NELL GWYN.-The pretty, witty, and care-- killing Nell Gwyn, the favourite mistress of King Charles the Second, occurs on several London public-houses: one in Chelsea, where she must have been well-known, since her mother resided in that neighbourhood, and popular tradition allows Nelly to have been one of the principal promoters of the erection of the Royal Hospital there for the aged and disabled soldiers, the first stone of which was laid by the king himself in the spring of 1682. The idea, it is said, originated with Nelly; "and I," says Cunningham, "see no reason to doubt the tradition, supported as it is by the known benevolence of her character, her sympathy with the suffering, and the fact that sixty years ago at least Nelly's share in its foundation was recorded beneath her portrait serving as a sign of a public-house adjoining the hospital. The sign remains, but not the inscrip- tion. Yet the tradition is still rife in Chelsea, and is not soon likely to die out. Ormonds, and Granbys, and Admiral Vernons disappear; but Nelly remains, and long may she swing with her favourite lamb in the row or street, commemorated AND SAYINGS. 267 for ever in the Chelsea Pensioners of Wilkie!" Another house named after Nelly may be seen in Drury Lane, in which street she lived, and where Pepys, on May-day, 1667, saw her "stand- ing at her lodgings door, in her smock sleeves and bodice," and thought her "a mighty pretty creature." "The English people have," continues Mr. Cunningham, "always entertained a peculiar liking for Nell Gwyn. There is a sort of indul- gence towards her not generally conceded to any other woman of her class. Thousands are attracted by her name, they know not why, and do not stay to inquire. It is the popular impression that, with all her failings, she had a generous as well as a tender heart; that when raised from poverty, she reserved her wealth for others rather than herself; and that the influence she possessed was often exercised for good objects, and never abused. Contrasted with others in a far superior rank in life, and tried by fewer temptations, there is much that marks and removes her from the common herd. The many have no sympathy, nor should they have any, for Barbara Palmer, Louise de Quérouaille, or Erengard de Schulenberg; but for Nell Gwyn, 'pretty, witty Nell,' there is a tolerant and kindly regard. The Coal Yard in Drury Lane, a low alley, the last on the east or City side of the lane, and still known by that name, was, it is said, the place of Nell Gwyn's birth. They show, however, in Pipe Lane, in the parish of St. 268 TAVERN ANECDOTES < John's, in the city of Hereford, a small house of brick and timber, now little better than a hovel, in which, according to local tradition, she was born. That the Coal Yard was the place of her birth was stated in print as early as 1721; and this was copied by Oldys, a curious inquirer into literary and dramatic matters, in the account of her life which he wrote for Curll's History of the Stage,' 1741. The Hereford story too is of some standing, but there is little else to support it. The capital of the cider country, however, does not want even Nell Gwyn to add to its theatrical reputation; in the same cathedral city which claims to be the birthplace of the best known English actress, was born, seventy years later, David Garrick, the greatest and best known actor we ever had. Of the early history of Nell, and of the rank in life of her parents, very little is known with certainty. Her father, it is said, was Captain Thomas Gwyn, of an ancient family in Wales. The name certainly is of Welsh extrac- tion, and the descent may be admitted without adopting the captaincy; for by other hitherto received accounts her father was a fruiterer in Covent Garden. She speaks in her will of her 'kinsman Cholmley,' and the satires of the time have pilloried a cousin, raised by her influence to an ensigncy from the menial office of one of the black guard employed in carrying coals at Court. Her mother, who lived to see her daughter a AND SAYINGS. 269 favourite of a king, and mother by him of at least two children, was accidently drowned in a pond near the Neat-houses at Chelsea. Her Christian name was Eleanor, but her maiden name is unknown. There are more houses pointed out in which Nell Gwyn is said to have lived, than sites of palaces belonging to King John, hunting- lodges believed to have sheltered Queen Elizabeth, or mansions and posting-houses in which Oliver Cromwell resided or put up. She is said to have been born at Hereford, London, and Oxford. But the houses in which she is said to have lived far exceed in number the cities contending for the honour of her birth. She is believed by some to have lived at Chelsea, by others at Bagnigge Wells, Highgate, and Walworth, and Filberts, near Windsor, are added to the list of reputed localities. A staring inscription in the Strand, in London, instructs the curious (and thirsty) passenger that at a house at the upper end of a narrow court was 'formerly the Dairy of Nell Gwyn.' I have been willing to believe in one and all of these conjectural residences, but after a long and careful inquiry I am obliged to reject them all. Her early life was spent in Drury Lane and Lincoln's-Inn-Fields, her latter life in Pall Mall, and in Burford House, in the town of Windsor. The rate-books of the parish of St. Martin's-in-the-Fields record her residence in Pall Mall from 1670 to her death in November, 1687, and the site of her house in 270 TAVERN ANECDOTES Windsor may be established, were other evidence wanting, by the large engraving after Knyff." NEW DISH.-A gentleman, whose knowledge of the French was limited to a few words, and who was ignorant of the meaning even of those, called in at one of our French restaurants a few days since for his dinner. "Vat vill you have, sare?" said the attentive French waiter. "I'll take some of that-that-what do you call it? same as I had yesterday-some French dish or other." "I do not recollect, sare, vat you did have day before dis." "Oh, some fried dish-let's see, a fried fille de chambre-I believe that's what they call it." The poor waiter shrugged his shoulders, and put on a look of perfect astonishment when his customer called for a fried chambermaid. NEW METHOD OF PAYING FOR A DINNER.- A reverend Benedictine of herculean frame, and endowed by nature with a magnificent apparatus of mastication, sat down to dinner at one of the eating-houses which skirt the Italian capital, and partook abundantly of the good things laid before him. But, on the waiter making his appearance with the bill, his reverence declared his inability to meet this exigency of the moment, otherwise than by saying two masses for the landlord. Mine host, on being called, demurred at first to the kind of coin offered; but eventually, bethinking himself AND SAYINGS. 271 of his many sins, accepted it, and allowed the priest to depart. NOBODY was the singular sign of John Trundle, a ballad-printer in Barbican in the seventeenth century. Trundle, the printer, and John Taylor, the Water Poet, were on intimate terms, and when the latter started on Tuesday, the 14th of July, 1628, on his "Pennyles Pilgrimage"-a journey on foot from London to Edinburgh-Trundle accompanied him as far as the Saracen's Head at Whetstone, and, certainly up to this point, the pilgrimage, though professedly a penniless one, may be said to have been a very "wet one!" It was on the eve of St. Swithin, and that may in some measure account for it; and as John Taylor bound himself down to "travel on foot from London to Edinburgh, not carrying any money to or fro, neither begging, borrowing, or asking meat, drink or lodging,” it is but reasonable to assume that John Trundle, the Barbican ballad-printer, "stood Sam" for the drink they had thus far on the journey. But let us cause John Taylor, the Water Poet, to tell his own tale in his own manner- "This foresaid Tuesday night 'twixt eight and nine, Well rigged and ballasted, both with beer and wine, 272 TAVERN ANECDOTES I, stumbling forward, thus my jaunt begun, And went that night as far as Islington. There did I find (I dare affirm it bold) A Maiden's Head* of twenty-five years old. There did my loving friendly host begin To entertain me freely to his inn : And there my friends and good associates, Each one to mirth himself accommodates. At Well-head both for welcome, and for cheer, Having a good New ton of good stale beer; * This then roadside public-house, we are informed from recent inquiries, was situate at the corner of Maiden Lane, Battle Bridge, now known as King's Cross, from a statue of George IV.—a most execrable performance-taken down 1842. The "Old Pub" is turned into a gin-palace, and named the Victoria, while Maiden Lane-an ancient way leading from Battle Bridge to Highgate Hill-is known now as York Road. Walburn, the original "Dusty Bob" in Life in London, which had so great a run at the Adelphi Theatre, kept, during and after the run of the piece, this old public-house, now the Victoria Tavern, Great Northern Railway. The house, previous to his taking it, was doing a small trade; but when he became the landlord he put out a sign with a portrait of himself in the above character, to- gether with that of old Jack Sanders, as “Black Sall,” who were represented "toeing and heeling it" in their celebrated jig, which being painted in an effective and slap-dash style by a scenic artist, "Black Sall and Dusty Bob" became a sort of by-word, and drew together many of the "Dusty" fra- ternity, for nearly opposite to the above house was Smith's large dust yard, at which hundreds were employed, male and female. AND SAYINGS. 273 There did we Trundle* down health after health (Which oftentimes impairs both health and wealth), Till every one had filled his mortal trunk, And only Nobody was three parts drunk. The morrow next, Wednesday, St. Swithin's day, From ancient Islington I took my way. At Holywell I was enforced carouse, Ale high, and mighty, at the Blindman's House But there's a help to make amends for all, That though the ale be great, the pots be small. At Highgate Hill to a strange house I went, And saw the people were to eating bent, In either borrowed, craved, asked, begged or bought, But most laborious with my teeth I wrought. I did not this, 'cause meat or drink was scant, But I did practise thus before my want; Like to a Tilter that would win the prize, Before the day he'll often exercise. So I began to put in use, at first These principles 'gainst hunger, 'gainst thirst. Close to the Gate† there dwelt a worthy man, That well could take his whiff, and quaff his can, of " * TRUNDLE—i.e., John Trundle of the sign of Nobody. + It is reasonable to conjecture that at this date the custom Swearing-in at Highgate” was not in vogue, or Nobody would have taken the oath, and John Taylor would have been sure to have made capital of such a ceremony, for he was wanting material for the work he had undertaken to write. T €274 TAVERN ANECDOTES Right Robin Goodfellow, but humours evil, Do call him Robin Pluto, or the devil. But finding him a devil, freely hearted, With friendly farewells I took leave and parted, And as alongst I did my journey take, I drank at Broom's well, for pure fashion's sake, Two miles I travelled then without a bait. The Saracen's Head at Whetstone entering straight, I found an host, that might lead an host of men, Exceeding fat, yet named Lean and Fen.* And though we make small reckoning of him here, He's known to be a very great man there. There I took leave of all my company, Bade all farewell, yet spake to Nobody. Good reader, think not strange, what I compile, For Nobody was with me all this while. And Nobody did drink, and wink, and scink, And on occasion freely spent his chink. If any one desire to know the man, Walk, stumble, Trundle, but in Barbican. There's as good beer and ale that twang'd, And in that street kind Nobody is hanged. ever * NAMED LEAN AND FEN.-Some jest is intended here on the host's name.-Qy., Leanfen, or the anagram of A. Fennel. AND SAYINGS. 275 But leaving him unto his matchless fame, I to St. Albans in the evening came, Where Master Taylor, at the Saracen's Head, Unasked (unpaid for) me both lodged and fed." NOGGIN. A small cup or spirit measure, holding about a quarter of a pint. NO RUM IN THE VAULT.-Some years ago the lady of an English baronet, who was cruelly suspected of being fond of genuine Jamaica, de- parted this life, and orders were sent to the sexton to have the family vault opened to receive the body. He did so; but, finding it full, he wrote back for answer, that he was sorry her ladyship could not be buried there, as there was no rum (meaning "room") in the vault. NOSES.-A humorist the other day, remarking upon the dispute between the teetotallers and the "jolly full" bottlers, termed it the "War of the Red and White Noses." NOT BAD.—A wag upon visiting a medical museum was shown some dwarfs, and other specimens of mortality, all preserved in alcohol. "Well," said he, "I never thought the dead could be in such spirits." NOTES AT AN INN.-"Pray give me some lemonade." Landlady: "Yes, sir. Do you-do T 2 276 TAVERN ANECDOTES you prefer it with lemon or without?" "How?" "Why-only we happen just now to be out of lemons." Five minutes past five, finished dinner, and ordered some wine. Wine fiery as brandy, and warm; complained of it. Scorewell under- took to "try again." While he was away, fancied I heard a pump-handle at work. Returned; wine by no means so strong, and much cooler. The first decanter chipped at the lip, so was this; odd coincidence. I inquired how the decanter came to be so wet outside. Scorewell replied that he had just given it a minute in ice. That's a reason, thought I. At an inn, call your bill every morning. "In the hurry of business, people sometimes re- member what you have not had, and down it goes in the bill." NOT TO EXPOSE HIMSELF. Hook had a recipe of his own to prevent being exposed to the night air. "I was very ill," he said, "some months ago, and my doctor gave me particular orders not to expose myself to it; so I come up every day to Crockford's, or some other place, to dinner, and I make it a rule on no account to go home again till about four or five o'clock in the morning." OCTOPUS.-The most popular denizen of the Brighton Aquarium, the Octopus, is now doing duty as a sign in Foundry Street. AND SAYINGS. 277 ODD DEFINITION.-The proprietor of a little alehouse in Scotland, having on his signboard, after his name, the letters "M.D.F.R.S.," a phy- sician, who was a Fellow of the Royal Society, asked him how he presumed to affix these letters to his name. "Why, sir?" asked the innkeeper; "I have as good a right to use them as you have." "What do you mean, you impudent fellow ?" replied the haughty man of medicine. "I mean, sir," said the man of liquor, "that I was Drum Major of the Royal Scots Fusiliers." OLD PARR'S HEAD.-The aged have been held in reverence by all nations and ages; but they have differed in the manner of showing their respect. Some, considering the latter years of an old man miserable to himself, deem it an act of kindness to shorten his days; while others, who entertain a different opinion of the present and future state, do all in their power to render the latter days of the man of grey hairs agreeable. Had Parr been a native of some of the uncivilized tribes, he might not have had the chance of living so long; but being born in a country where age is respected, he fell ripe and full of years. The rage for novelty, perhaps, more than a regard for the venerable in years, has induced the adoption of his head for a sign, as it is not altogether appropriate; for it does not often happen that constant frequenters of a bar, either of a public-house or a court of justice, 278 TAVERN ANECDOTES live to a great age. A house situated in Alders- gate Street has adopted this sign, on the window OLD PARR. AND SAYINGS. 279 of which is an ill-painted figure of the ancient gentleman, under which are the following half borrowed and half original lines— "Your head cool, Your feet warm: But a glass of good gin Would do you no harm." The principal authority for the history of Old Parr is John Taylor, the "Water Poet," who, while the patriarch was residing in London, about a month before he died, published a pamphlet, entitled "The Old, Old, very Old Man, or Thomas Parr, the son of John Parr, of Winnington, in the Parish of Alberbury, in the County of Shropshiere ; who was borne in the yeare 1483, in the Raigne of Edward the 4th, being aged 152 yeares and odd monthes, in this yeare, 1635." OLD TOM, or JACKEY.-This celebrated article was originally distilled at Deady and Hanley's distillery, Hampstead Road (now Carre's brewery). On account of Hanley's name being John, it was called Fackey, and now Old Tom. OLD TOPING SUSAN. Dead-drunk old Susan oft was found; But now she's laid beneath the ground, As door-nail dead-alas, the day! Her nose was red, and moist her clay. 280 TAVERN ANECDOTES From morn to night, of care bereft, She plied her glass and wet her throttle; Without a sigh her friends she left, But much she griev'd to leave her bottle. ON A LANDLORD. Beneath this stone in hopes of Zion, Here lies the landlord of the Lion. Resigned to the heavenly will, His son keeps on the business still. ONE O'CLOCK.-A tipsy sinner, who was repos- ing in the gutter, heard "Past two o'clock" cried by a passing watchman. "One o'clock," hiccupped the toper. "Past two o'clock," the obstinate Dog- berry, repeated. "One o'clock, old boy! you're wrong," exclaimed our hero; "I heard it strike twice makes me so certain." OPTICAL DECEPTIONS. Tom runs from his wife to get rid of his trouble— He drinks, and he drinks, till he sees all things double; But when he has ceased wine and brandy to mingle, Oh, what would he give to see himself single! OUNCE OF SPIRITS.-A Dutchman, who had been a long time given to the use of spirituous liquors, was at length persuaded to give them up and join a temperance society. A few months after, feeling unwell, he sent for a physician, who AND SAYINGS. 281 Not prescribed for him one ounce of spirits. understanding what an ounce was, he asked a friend, who told him that eight drachms make an "Ah," exclaimed the old Dutchman, "the doctor understands my case exactly. I used to take six drams in a day, and I always wanted two more." ounce. OUT BY BRUTE FORCE.-A perverse inebriate at an anniversary dinner, having fallen under the festive board at a disgracefully early hour, was strongly urged by his companions to get out and take the air. "Never!" said he; "never!—a thousand times never!" But they, nevertheless, took him quietly up and set him out in the garden. "I'm out here," said he, "by brute force. Thaz why (hic) I'm out here; but 'f yer think I'm goin' to take ther air, yer very mush 'staken!" OVER AN INN IN SOMERSETSHIRE. Good people stop, and pray walk in, Here's foreign brandy, rum, and gin, With cyder, ale, and beer, that's good, All selling here by John Attwood. OX-TAIL SOUP.-Angry customer: "Hallo! you waiter; where is that ox-tail soup?" Waiter: (( Coming, sir ;-half a minute." Customer: "Con- found it! Ox-tail is always behind." P'S AND Q'S, MIND YOUR.-Several explanations 282 TAVERN ANECDOTES In the latter the wig have been suggested, but none seem to be wholly satisfactory. The following comes nearest to the point of the caution :-In the reign of Louis XIV., when wigs of unwieldy size were worn, and bows were made with very great formality, two things were especially required, a "step" with the feet and a low bend of the body. would be very apt to get deranged, and even to fall off. The constant caution, therefore, of the French dancing master to his pupils was, "Mind your P's (i.e., pieds, feet) and Q's (i.e., queues, wigs.") Three other explanations are ingenious, but do not carry out the force of the expression. One is this: Children are very apt to confound the pand q; this was especially the case when they were taught from a horn-book, and the old dame had to warn her child-scholar many and many a time to "mind his P's and Q's." A third solution is as follows: When scores were kept in public-houses with a tally, was set down for "pints," and q for "quarts." Mine host would then say to the person sent out to make the score, "Mind your P's and Q's," and not unfrequently would the customer also give the same caution, that he might not be charged for quarts instead of pints. The next sugges- tion is somewhat similar :-Punch used to be sold in bowls of two sizes; the P size was a shilling and the Q size sixpence. When two clubbed together, one might say "Mind your P's and Q's "-i.e., do not take a small, but the double measure. Again, AND SAYINGS. 283 printers' young apprentices are told to mind their p's and q's when picking up, and more particularly when distributing lower case p's and q's. PACK HORSE.-The pack horses on tokens and signs indicated horses being for hire. "PADDY, where's the whisky I gave you to clean the windows with?" "Och, master, I just drank it; and I thought if I breathed on the glass it would be all the same." PADDY'S BELIEF.-An Irishman, being a little fuddled, was asked what was his religious belief. "Is it me belafe ye'd be asking about?" said he. "It's the same as Widdy Brady. I owe her twelve shillings for whisky, and she belaves I'll never pay her; and faith, that's my belafe too.” PALSGRAVE HEAD TAVERN formerly stood on the present site of Palsgrave Place, near Temple Bar. The sign was doubtless set up in compliment to Palsgrave, the husband of Princess Elizabeth, the only daughter of James I. William Faithorne, an early engraver of great merit, lived "at the sign of the Ship, next to the Drake, opposite the Palsgrave Head Tavern, without Temple Bar.” Here Prior and Montague, in their " The Hind and Panther Transvers'd," make the country mouse and the town mouse bilk the hackney coachman- 284 TAVERN ANECDOTES "But now at Piccadilly they arrive, And taking coach, t'wards Temple Bar they drive, But at St. Clement's Church eat out the back; And slipping through the Palsgrave, bilk't poor hack." Near the Palsgrave Head Tavern was Heycock's Ordinary, much frequented by Parliament men and gallants. Here Andrew Marvell uttered the severe castigation to certain members of the House, known to be in the pay of the Crown, for the insur- ing the subserviency of their votes. Marvell dined usually at this ordinary, where, having ate heartily of boiled beef, with some roasted pigeons and asparagus, he drank his pint of port, and on the coming in of the reckoning, taking a piece of money out of his pocket, held it between his finger and thumb, and addressing his venal associates, said, "Gentlemen, who would let himself out for hire, when he can have such a dinner for half-a- crown ?" PASS THE BOTTLE.-Theodore Hook, when dining with the author of a work entitled "Three Words to a Drunkard," was asked to review it. "Oh, my dear fellow, that I have done already in three words-pass the bottle." PATRIOTIC DRINKING.—“Now I ax you fellers who's the best cittersen, him as supports Guverment or him as doesn't?" "Why, him as does, in course. We supports Guverment, we fellers - every man as drinks grog supports the Guverment. That is, AND SAYINGS. 285 if he lickers at a licensed house. Every blessed drop of licker he swallows there is taxed to pay the salary of some of them 'ere big wigs. 'Spose he was to quit drinking, why Guverment must fall -it couldn't help it, no how. That's the wery reason I drinks. I don't like grog-I mortally hates it. If I follered my own inclernation, I'd rather drink buttermilk or ginger-pop, or soda- water. But I lickers for the good of my country, to set an example of patriotism and wirtus self- denial to the rising generation." PEWTER POT.-In the Beaufoy Collection of Trade Tokens, there is one described by Mr. Burn thus: "YE PEWTER POT, an alehouse pot in the field: Rev. LEADENHALL STREE. In the field I.E.B." Robert Chicheley, Mayor in1423, enacted that retailers of ale should sell the same in their houses in pots of "peutre," sealed and open; and that whoever carried ale to the buyer should hold the pot in one hand and a cup in the other; and that all who had pots unsealed should be fined. Sealed implies stamped. Wine measures were no unfrequent emblem set up as a sign. Early engrav- ings, by Theodore Galle and others, and the sutlers' booths at camp meetings, as represented by Wouvermans and other painters, show that, ap- pended to a pole, it was, either in conjunction with ivy twined about a hoop, or in the absence of a bush, a usual sign. The pewter pot is here indicative 286 TAVERN ANECDOTES of an alehouse; and in commendation of the liquor thus sings a contemporary- "Oh! Ale ab alendo ! thou liquor of life, That I had but a mouth as big as a whale; For mine is too little, To touch the least tittle, That belongs to the praise of a pot of good ale.” PEWTER PLATTER, as a public-house sign, occurs frequently both in town and country. To scour the pewter-to do one's work; the allusion being to the slavey whose office it is in beerhouses to keep the pots clean— "But if she neatly scour her pewter, Give her the money that is due t'her." KING, Orpheus and Eurydice. PICKLED EGG.-This uncommon, and withal eccentric sign, is to be found in a little lane by the side of Clerkenwell workhouse. As the origin of this sign, it is said that Charles II. here once par- took of the dish. Not only is the house called the Pickled Egg, but the article is in reality sold here, the fact being plainly announced on placards placed in the windows-PICKLED EGGS SOLD HERE. It has given its name to a lane called Pickled Egg Walk, in which there was a notorious cocking- house, frequently mentioned in advertisements circa 1775. It was down this place that John Dawkins, alias the Artful Dodger, conducted Oliver Twist on the night of his entering London, on their way to Fagin's den of thieves. AND SAYINGS. 237 PIG AND WHISTLE.-The bowl and wassail, or the wassail. A piggen is a pail, especially a milk- pail; and a pig is a small bowl, cup, or mug, Thus a crockery dealer is called a "pig-wife.” Another explanation is that it is a corruption of the "pix and housel;" the "pix" being the box in which the sacred wafers were kept, and the 'housel" the eucharist or wafers themselves. PIG AND TINDERBOX.-A jocular term for the Elephant and Castle. PITT'S HEAD.-Statesmen, warriors, poets, and players have had their busts placed in halls, public buildings, and private collections, in honour- able remembrance of their patriotism, valour, genius, or dramatic talent. The above sign has been adopted in honour of the great Earl of Chatham, whose virtues as a statesman and a man have been justly held in the highest estimation by an admiring and grateful nation. PLEDGE.-I pledge you in this wine. This custom arose in the tenth century, when it was thought necessary for one person to watch over the safety of a companion while in the act of drinking. It was by no means unusual with the fierce Danes to stab a person under such circum- stances. 288 TAVERN ANECDOTES "If I Were a huge man, I should fear to drink at meals, Lest they should spy my windpipe's dangerous notes. Great men should drink with harness on their throats.” Timon of Athens, i. 2. PLOUGH.-This agricultural emblem has been set up by many publicans and innkeepers in various parts of the country, as a land-mark and halting-place to the agriculturist, as also the sign of the Harrow, Barleymow, Hayrick, Wheatsheaf, together with the legend Speed the Plough, or the Plough and Horses, and Plough and Harrow. Poor Richard informs us that- "He who by the plough would thrive Himself must either hold or drive." "Yes," says Sir Abel Handy, in Morton's sterling old comedy of Speed the Plough—" Yes; for I consider a healthy young man between the handles of a plough, as one of the noblest illus- trations of the prosperity of Britain." POCKET-PISTOL.-A dram-flask for the pocket. The pun is on "self-defence." We take the flask in self-defence, because we cannot get a dram on the road. POETICAL TAVERN SIGN AT CHATHAM.—On the signboard is painted an arm, holding up a malt shovel, and underneath is written- "Good malt makes good beer, Walk in and you'll find it here." AND SAYINGS. 289 POPE'S HEAD TAVERN.-In Cornhill stood a large building called the Pope's Head, said to be one of the most ancient taverns in London, and which most unquestionably existed in the reign of Edward the Fourth (1461-1483). Here, in the reign of Henry the Sixth, wine was sold for one penny the pint; no charge being made for bread. In the interlude of The World and the Child, imprynted at London in Flete Strete, at the syne of ye❝Sonne by me Wynkin de Worde,” the yere of our Lorde M.CCCCC. and xxij, the xvij day of July, we find— "And then we will with Lombards at passage play, And at the Pope's Head sweet wine assay." According to Stow, the Pope's Head had not improbably been a royal palace. In his time the ancient arms of England, consisting of three leopards, supported between two angels, were still to be seen engraved in stone on the walls. "The Pope's Head Tavern hath a footway through from Cornhill into Lombard Street."-Stow, p. 75. In this tavern, on the 14th of April, 1718, Bowen, a clever but hot-headed Irish comedian, was killed in a duel of his own seeking by his fellow-actor, Quin. Bowen was jealous of Quir's reputation, and in a moment of great anger sent for Quin to the Pope's Head Tavern, when, as soon as he had entered the room, he placed his back against the door, drew his sword, and bade Quin draw his. Quin U 290 TAVERN ANECDOTES having mildly remonstrated to no purpose, drew in his own defence, and endeavoured to disarm his antagonist. Bowen received a wound of which he died in three days, having acknowledged his folly and madness, when the loss of blood had reduced him to reason. Quin was tried and acquitted. PORTER. Before the year 1730 the malt liquors most in use in London were ale, beer, and a drink called two-penny. It was then customary to call for a pint or tankard of half-and-half, i.e., half ale, half beer, or half ale, and half two-penny. In course of time it also became the practice to call for a pint or tankard of three-thirds, i.e., ale, beer, and two- penny; for this the publican had the trouble of going to three casks, and turning three cocks for one pint of liquor. To avoid this inconvenience, a brewer named Harwood conceived the idea of making a liquor which should partake of the united flavour of ale, beer, and two-penny; he did so, and succeeded to a miracle, calling it Harwood's Entire, and as it was a very nourishing and hearty liquor, and supposed to be very suitable for porters and other working people, it obtained the name of porter, which is retained to this day, as also the word "Entire," and we can daily see Whitbread and Co.'s Entire, Barclay and Perkins' Entire, &c. PORT WINE AND PARALYSIS.-From Mr. Savory, formerly of Bond Street, we remember AND SAYINGS. 291 to have heard an account, several years ago, of a friend of his, a baronet, well known in the gay world, having been seized with paralysis, and find- ing himself, on his return from a convivial party, suddenly deprived of speech and power of moving one side of his body. Either from feelings of desperation, or an impulse of mental aberration, the gentleman had a bottle of port wine brought to his bedside, and having finished it, he turned with great composure on his side and went to sleep. That gentleman lived long after, his in- tellect wholly unimpaired, his speech restored, and his general health as good as ever it was; and he long discussed his bottle or two of port wine with apparent impunity. POSSET properly means a drink taken before going to bed; it was milk curdled with wine. (Latin, posca, a drink made with vinegar and water.) "In his morning's draught-his concerves or cates-and when he goeth to bedde his posset smoaking hot."-Man in the Moone (1609). POT VALIANT.-Made courageous by liquor. POTEEN (pron. po-cheen).—Whisky that has not paid duty (Irish). "Come and taste some good poteen That has not paid a rap to the Queen." PRICE OF BEER 250 YEARS AGO.-By statute U 2 292 TAVERN ANECDOTES · of the first year of James I. (1603) it was enjoined upon all innkeepers, under pain of fine, and im- prisonment in default, to sell one quart of the best beer for one penny, and two quarts of small for the same. PROMISING TOAST.-Marylebone Gardens and Bowling-green, in the last century, were frequented by the high rank and fashion of the town. Lady Mary Wortley Montagu alludes to the fondness of Sheffield, Duke of Buckingham, for this place- "Some Dukes at Marybone bowl time away." Here, at the end of the season, as Quin told Pennant, the Duke gave a dinner to the chief frequenters of the place, drinking the toast which he thought appropriate, "May as many of us as remain unchanged next spring meet here again." PROGRESS OF TEMPERANCE.-No news of the flourishing condition of the Teetotal Society in the East has reached us for some time, save the follow- ing bill of fare of a Boston restaurant, sent us by a friend. The "Fancy Drinks" are set forth in large letters, and decidedly beat anything that can be produced in this temperate latitude— Plain Mint Julep . Fancy Mixed Peach "" "" Orange 99 Pig and Whistle. Citronelia Jam. Egg Nogg Sargent. Silver-top. AND SAYINGS. 293 Pineapple Julep • Claret Capped "" Strawberry,, Arrack Race Horse Sherry Cobbler Rochelle " Arrack "} Peach "} Claret Veto. "" Tip and Ty. Fiscal Agent I. O. U. Tippe Na Pecco Moral Suasion Poor Man's Punch. Arrack Punch. Iced Punch. Spiced Punch. Epicure's Punch. Milk Punch. Peach Punch. Cherry Punch. Jewett's Fancy. Deacon. Exchange. Stone Wall. Virginia Fancy. Knickerbocker. Smasher. Floater. Sifter. Vox Populi. Soda Punch. Ne Plus Ultra. Soda. Shambro. Mead. PROOF SPIRIT.-A mixture of equal parts (by weight) of alcohol and water. The proof of spirit consists in little bubbles or beads which appear on the top of the liquor after agitation. When any mixture has more alcohol than water it is called over proof, and when less it is termed under proof. PUBLIC-HOUSE SIGNS. Much of a nation's history, and more of its manners and feelings, may 294 TAVERN ANECDOTES be gleaned from its public-house signs. A very large number of them are selected out of compli- ment to the lord of the manor, either because he is the "great man" of the neighbourhood, or be- cause the proprietor is some servant whom "it delighted the lord to honour;" thus we have the Earl of March, in compliment to the Duke of Rich- mond; the Green Man, or gamekeeper, married and promoted "to a public." When the name and titles of the lord have been exhausted, we get his cognisance or his favourite pursuit, as the Bear and Ragged Staff, the Fox and Hounds. As the object of the sign is to speak to the feelings and attract, another fruitful source is either some national hero or great battle; thus we get the Marquis of Granby and the Duke of Wellington, the Waterloo and the Alma. The proverbial loyalty of our nation has naturally shown itself in our tavern signs, giving us the Victoria, the Prince of Wales, the Albert, the Crown, and so on. Some signs indicate a speciality of the house, as the Bowl- ing Green, the Skittles; some a political bias, as the Royal Oak; some are an attempt at wit, as the Five Alls, the Man Loaded with Mischief, the Pig and Tinder-box, &c.; and some are purely fanciful.* The following ballad on the signs which were to be seen in London at the period of the Restoration is * Rev. Dr. Brewer's Dictionary of Phrase and Fable. London: Cassell, Petter, and Galpin. AND SAYINGS: 295 taken, verbatim et literatim, from the collection of Roxburghe Ballads, vol. i. 212, now in the British Museum. It is called- LONDONS ORDINARIE, OR EUERY MAN IN HIS HUMOUR. To a pleasant new Tune. Through the Royall Exchainge as I walked, Where Gallants in sattin doe shine : At midst of the day, they parted away, To seaverall places to dine. 296 TAVERN ANECDOTES The Gentrie went to the King's head, The Nobls unto the Crowne: The Knights went to the Golden Fleece, And the Plough men to the Clowne. The Cleargie will dine at the Miter, The Vintners at the three Tunnes, The Usurers to the Devill will goe, And the Fryers to the Nunnes. The Ladyes will dine at the Feathers, The Globe no Captaine will scorne, The Hunts men will goe to the Grayhound below, And some Townes-men to the Horne. The Plummers will dine at the Fountaine, The Cookes at the holly Lambe, The Drunkerds by noone, to the Man in the Moone, And the Cuckolds to the Ramme. The Roarers will dine at the Lyon, The Waterman at the old Swan; And Bawdes will to the negro goe, And Whores to the naked Man. The Keepers will to the white Hart, The Marchants unto the Shippe, The Beggars they must take their way To the Egge shell and the Whippe. AND SAYINGS. 297 The Farryers will to the Horse, The Blacke smith unto the Locke, The Butchers unto the Bull will goe, And the Carmen to Bridewell Docke. The Fish mongers unto the Dolphin, The Barbers to the Cheat loafe, The Turners unto the Ladle will goe, Where they may merrily quaffe. The Taylors will dine at the Sheeres, The Shooe makers will to the Boote, The Welshmen they will take their way, And dine at the signe of the Gote. THE SECOND PART TO THE SAME TUNE. The Hosiers will dine at the Legge, The Drapers at the signe of the Brush, The Fletchers to Robin hood will goe, And the Spendthrift to Begger's Bush. The Pewterers to the Quarte pot, The Coopers will dine at the Hoope, The Coblers to the Last will goe, And the Barge men to the Sloope. The Carpenters will to the Axe, The Coliers will dine at the Sacke, Your Fruterer he to the Cherry-tree, Good fellowes no liquor will lacke. 298 TAVERN ANECDOTES The Gold smith will to the three Cups, For money they hold it as drosse; Your Puritan to the Pewter can, And your Papists to the Crosse. The Weavers will dine at the Shuttele, The Glovers will unto the Glove, The Maydens all to the Mayden head, And true Louers unto the Dove. The Sadlers will dine at the Saddle, The Painters will to the greene Dragon, The Dutchmen will go to the Froe, Where each man will drinke his Flagon. The Chandlers will dine at the Skales, The Salters at the signe of the Bagge; The Porters take paine at the Labour in Vaine, And the Horse-courser to the white Nagge. Thus every man in his humour, That comes from the North or the South, But he that has no money in his purse, May dine at the sine of the Mouth. The Swaggerers will dine at the Fencers, But those that have lost their wits, With Bedlam Tom let that be their home, And the Drumme the Drummers best fits. AND SAYINGS. 299* The Cheter will dine at the Checker, The Picke-pockets in a blind Ale-house, Tel on and tride then up Holborne they ride, And they their end at the Gallowes. FINIS. Printed at London by the Assignes of Thomas Symcocke. PUNCH. One of sour, two of sweet, Four of strong, eight of weak. PUNNING EPITAPH ON A LANDLORD. While fumbling round the taproom, Death tapp'd him on the head; So here he lies, quite flat and stale, because, d'ye see, he's dead! PUNNING SERMON. The following curious string of puns is taken from a scarce work, pub. lished in the reign of James the First. A divine more willing to play with words than to be serious. in expounding his text, spoke thus in his sermon :—— "This dial shows that we must die all; yet not- withstanding, all houses are turned into ale houses; our cares are turned into cates; our Paradise into a pair o' dice; matrimony into a matter o' money, and marriage into a merry age. Our divines have become dry vines-it was not so in the days of Noah-ah no!" 300 TAVERN ANECDOTES QUANTITY OF WINE.-A late Baron of the Exchequer, being of a party where the merits of wine was the subject of discussion, one observed to him that a certain quantity did a person no harm. This his lordship admitted, but added, "That it was the uncertain quantity that did all the mischief." THE OLD QUEEN'S HEAD. QUEEN'S HEAD.-The Queen's Head, as a tavern sign, as on all the trade tokens, is the portraiture of Queen Elizabeth, whose name is even now asso- ciated in our fondest retrospections with the epithet of "Good Queen Bess." QUERY FOR TEETOTALLERS.—Can a glazier be said to be fond of his glass? RACY.-Having distinctive piquancy, as racy wine. It was first applied to wine, and, according to Cowley, comes to us from the Spanish and Portuguese raiz (root), meaning having a radical or AND SAYINGS. 301 distinct flavour; but probably it is a corruption of "relishy,” French, reléché (flavorous). "Rich racy verse, in which we see The soil from which they come, taste, smell, and see." COWLEY. RACY STYLE.-Piquant composition, the very opposite of mawkish. RAILWAY.—We have everywhere hosts of Rail- way Inns, Arms, and Stations, together with all the necessary adjuncts as public-house and beer- shop signs.—See ARMS. RAINBOW. The Rainbow Tavern, No. 15, on the south side of Fleet Street, was originally a coffee-house, and one of the earliest started in London. Four years before the Restoration, Mr. James Farr, a barber, began the trade here, trusting probably to the young Temple barristers for sup- port. The vintners grew jealous; and the neigh- bours disliking the smell of the roasting coffee, indicted Farr as a nuisance. But he persevered, and the drink became popular. A satirist had soon. to write regretfully-- "And now, alas! the drink has credit got, And he's no gentleman that drinks it not." Doubtless the tavern-keepers of the day were not a little incensed against the introducers and advo- cates of the new drink, which shortly grew so popular as to interfere seriously with their profits. -302 TAVERN ANECDOTES Howell, speaking in 1659 of the curious and eccen- tric traveller, Sir Henry Blount, observes :-"This coffee drink hath caused a great sobriety among all nations. Formerly, apprentices, clerks, &c., used to take their morning draughts in ale, beer, or wine, which often made them unfit for business. Now they play the good fellows in this wakeful and civil drink." Sir Henry himself appears to have been a constant frequenter of the Rainbow. Aubrey, in his brief memoir of him, observes :— "When coffee first came in, he was a great upholder of it, and hath ever since been a constant frequenter of coffee- houses; especially at Mr. Farre's, at the Rainbow." Another Rainbow now occupies the site of the older one, and is a well-conducted and well-fre- quented tavern; famous for its stout, and old, mild, or bitter ales. RAM AND TEAZLE, a public-house sign, is in compliment to the Clothiers' Company. The ram and the golden fleece is emblematical of wool, and the teazle is used for raising the nap of wool spun and woven into cloth. THE RAVEN, or THE BLACK RAVEN, is still a very common inn sign. At the Three Black Ravens, in the neighbourhood of Worthing, was— "All you that pass through field or moor, Pray do not pass John Hampshire's door; Here's what will cheer man in his course, With good accommodation for his horse. AND SAYINGS. 303 Our pipes are long, our ale is strong, "Twill make you pipe your eye or give a song. And as good nappy should be no man's sorrow, You pay me to-day, I'll trust you to-morrow." ROBIN HOOD.-Every one is familiar with the history of Robin Hood. About a century ago, there existed a debating society in London called "The Robin Hood Society," which gave name to the house where it met. The Hon. Charles Townshend hearing it asserted that when Jeacock, the baker, was president, there was better speaking at the Robin Hood than at St. Stephen's Chapel, he replied, "You are not to wonder that people should go to the baker for oratory when so many come to the House of Commons for bread." The most frequent of all ballad signs is unquestionably Robin Hood, who appears both with and without his faithful acolyte Little John, who, we are informed, stood upwards of six good English feet without his shoes, yet is always depicted to suit the popular humour -a dwarf in size, compared with his friend and leader, the bold outlaw. This sign has of late years been very much on the increase, as many public-houses and beershops in London and pro- vincial towns can fully testify; and which may to an extent be accounted for by the rapid spread of the Ancient Order of Foresters, and the forma- tion of new neighbourhoods by the vast and ever- increasing army of "speculative builders." At 304 TAVERN ANECDOTES many a Robin Hood and Little John the following inscription appears- "Ye archers bold and yeomen good, Stop and drink with Robin Hood; If Robin Hood is not at home; Stop and drink with Little John." At an alehouse, having for its sign Robin Hood, in the neighbourhood of Brighton, we remember to have seen the following, and acted on the advice of Captain Cuttle, of "when found make a note of." PUBLIC NOTICE. More Beer Score Clerk For My My Their Do Trust Pay Sent I I Must Have Shall If I Brewers What For And My Which, upon being read upwards, beginning from the bottom of the last column, it will be found to stand thus- "My brewers have sent their clerk, And I must pay my score ; For if I trust my beer What shall I do for more?" At other places nearly the same words are arranged in a cabalistical-like form as under. The letters must be connected into words, thus:-THE BREWER HE HAS SENT HIS CLERK, &c. AND SAYINGS. 305 > Th. ebr: Ewe! Rh. eH. Ass† en. T.HIS. cLErt KaNd! IM. ustp. A. YM. Ys* cO. r EF. o r IFI trUs? tAn DAMN otp A.† i Dw! HATS hal LID, * O! FORM or E.? The above reminds us of what we once saw at Poy- nings, a pretty little Sussex village, distant some six miles north-west of Brighton, and at the bottom of the Devil's Dyke Hill, there in the village ale- house, with "The whitewashed wall, the nicely sanded floor, The varnish'd clock that click'd behind the door," some years ago we made a note of the following congenial and admonitory invitation— Here's to Pand's Pen, da SOC i alho-U r. Inh ARM (Les Smirt) HAND: G. Lee. Le TFR ieNd SHIP r Ei-G. NAN. DEVIL'S PEAK OF NO NE. Which, when the letters are properly put together; will be found- "Here stop and spend a social hour, In harmless mirth and glee; Let friendship reign-and evil speak of none." X 306 TAVERN ANECDOTES ! # PUBLIC NOTICE. Gentlemen, walk in and sit at your ease, Pay for what you call for, and call for what you please; But the rule of this house, and it can't be unjust, Is to pay on delivery, and not to give trust; As trusting of late has been to my sorrow, Pay me to-day, and I'll trust you to-morrow. And, ADVICE GRATIS. Pay as you go, and keep from small score, Short reckonings make long friends. Your head cool, Your feet warm. But a glass of OUR beer Will do you no harm. NOTICE. PAY TO-DAY, I'LL TRUST TO-MORROW. At a small public-house at Partridge Green, near Henfield, Sussex, may be seen- PUBLIC NOTICÈ. REQUIESCAT IN PACE. Died last night, POOR TRUST! Who killed him? BAD PAY. Let Hercules himself do what he may, The cat will mew, and the dog will have his day." AND SAYINGS. · 307 4 Stuck up in many taprooms may be seen the following- "All you that bring tobacco here Must pay for pipes as well as beer; And you that stand before the fire, I pray sit down by good desire, That other folks as well as you May see the fire, and feel it too. Since man to man is so unjust, I cannot tell what man to trust. My liquor's good, 'tis no man's sorrow, Pay to-day, I'll trust to-morrow." In the Tap in connexion with the Eagle Inn at Snaresbrook, we remember to have seen the above with the following prefatory couplet— "All you that cut the tables here, For it shall pay one pot of beer." The caution, as we remember, came too late, or otherwise no heed had been paid to it, for the tables and forms were so cut and slashed about that no room was left for us to have carved our JOHN SMITH, no! nor even the initials of the euphonious J. S., T. B., J. J., W. R. Occasionally may be seen— << NOTICE. It is particularly requested that no person will ask for CREDIT, as a denial often offends. PAY TO-DAY, I'LL TRUST TO-MORROW.” X 2 308 TAVERN ANECDOTES A shoemaker named Downs, formerly living in that part of THE LANES leading from North Street, Brighton, then known as "Economy Corner," but now merged into the Bath Arms Tavern, had the following over his door (circa 1842)- "Here lives a man that don't refuse, To make or mend old boots and shoes; His leather's good, his profit's just, But to no man he cannot trust; He's trusted many to his sorrow, So pay to-day, and he'll trust to-morrow." At the sign of the Bear, by the Preston Barracks, on the Lewes Road, near Brighton, kept by one Stephen Cowley, the following may be read— "TAKE NOTICE. The Brewer doth crave His money to have, The Spirit Merchant says, 'have I must;' By that you see How the case stands with me. So I pray you don't ask me for trust, As trusting of late has been to my sorrow; Pay me to-day, and I'll trust you to-morrow." The following genteel " caution" is often to be seen- “Former customers have inspired us with caution : NO CREDIT GIVEN HERE." AND SAYINGS. 309 RICHMOND HILL.-The following was on on a tavern half way up Richmond Hill, Isle of Man, kept by Abraham Lowe- "I'm Abraham Lowe, and half way up the hill; If I were higher up, what's funnier still, I should still be Lowe; come in and take your fill Of porter, ale, wine, spirits,-what you will. Step in, my friend, I pray no farther go; My prices, like myself, are always low." RODNEY.-George Bridges Rodney, Lord Admi- ral--born 1717; captured the Caraccas fleet, and destroyed that of Spain, 1780; relieved Gibraltar, captured the Dutch West India Islands, 1781; defeated the French fleet under the Comte de Grasse, 12th April, 1782; created baron, 19th June, 1782; died 1792-seems to have obtained as great a share of signboard popularity as even Nelson himself, and nowhere are we lacking Rod- ney's Heads or Arms. ROSE.-There are several taverns in London and elsewhere with this sign, an emblem of England. A Rose is also the cognisance of the Richmonds, hence the rose in the mouth of one of the foxes which support the shield in the public-house called the Holland Arms, Kensington. The daughter of the Duke of Richmond ran away with Mr. Henry Fox, afterwards Baron Holland, of Foxley. So 310 TAVERN ANECDOTES the Fox stole the Rose and ran away with it. There was a Rose Tavern at the corner of Thanet Place, without Temple Bar, which Strype mentions as "a well-customed house, with good conveniences of rooms, and a good garden." The Rose Tavern in Russell Street, Covent Garden, was a noted place for debauchery in the seventeenth century; constant allusions are made to it in the old plays. In those days a man could not go from the Rose Tavern to the Piazzi once but he must venture his life twice." (Shadwell, The Scowrers, 1691.) The Red Rose, as a public-house sign.—Camden says the red rose was the accepted badge of Edmund, first Earl of Lancaster. It was also the cognisance of Edmund Crouchbacke, second son of Henry III.; and of John of Gaunt, fifth Duke of Lancaster, in virtue of his wife, who was godchild of Edmund Crouchbacke, and his sole heir. The Rose Coffee- house, formerly called the Red Cow, and subse- quently Will's, was the house on the north side of Russell Street, at the end of Bow Street. The Red Rose, says Sir John Mandeville, sprang from the extinguished brands heaped around a virgin martyr at Bethlehem, and the White Rose from the unkindled brands. The White Rose, as a public-house sign, was not first adopted by the Yorkists during the contest for the crown, as Shakspeare says; it was an hereditary cognisance of the House of York, AND SAYINGS. 311 and had been borne by them ever since the title was first created. It was adopted by the Jacobins as an emblem of the Pretender, because his adherents were obliged to abet him sub rosa (in secret). The Wars of the Roses.-A civil contest that lasted thirty years, in which eighty princes of the blood, a larger portion of the English nobility, and some 100,000 common soldiers were slain. It was a contest between the Lancastrians and Yorkists, whose supporters wore in their caps as badges a red or white rose; the cognisance of the House of Lancaster being the rose gule, and of the House of York the rose argent. (1455-1485.) Frequently the Rose is combined with other objects, as the Rose and Ball, and with a Crown, a Key or Punchbowl; and we find the Moss Rose, the Bunch of Roses, the Rosebud, and the Two Roses, &c., "common as blackberries." THE ROYAL OAK.-This sign was set up soon after the Restoration of Charles II., in allusion to his being concealed in an oak-tree from the observa- tion of his pursuers. Hence styled "Royal." Evelyn, in his Diary, October 29th, 1660, mentions "going to London; my lord maior's show stopped in Cheapside; one of the pageants represented a greate wood, with the royal oake, and history of His Majestie's miraculous escape at Boscobel.' 312 TAVERN ANECDOTES Notwithstanding a lapse of two centuries and a change of dynasty, the Royal Oak still continues a favourite sign. In London alone it occurs on thirty public-houses, exclusive of beerhouses and coffee- shops, &c. Sometimes it is called King Charles. in the Oak, Charles the Second's Head, and the Merry Monarch. The greatest historical event connected with Brighton is the escape from Eng- land of King Charles II., who subsequently to his disastrous defeat at Worcester, 3rd September, 1651, came, after many tortuous journeys and hair- breadth escapes, to this town on October 13th, and sailed the next day in a coal-brig, commanded by Nicholas Tattersal, who conveyed him safely to Fécamp. The King took up his temporary abode at the George Inn in West Street. After the Restoration the coal-brig was raised to the dignity of a fifth-rate man of war; Tattersal, her master, to that of Captain; and the little tavern, olim the George, to that of the King's Head, which it still enjoys. Tattersal lies buried in the old churchyard, with a laudatory inscription. THE RUMMER TAVERN.—The locality of this noted tavern is given by Cunningham as two doors from Locket's, between Whitehall and Char- ing Cross, removed to the water-side of Charing Cross in 1710, and burnt down November 7th, 1750. It was kept in the reign of Charles II. by Samuel AND SAYINGS. 313 Prior, uncle to Matthew Prior the poet, who thus wrote to Fleetwood Shephard- "My uncle, rest his soul! when living Might have contriv'd me ways of thriving; Taught me with cider to replenish My vats, or ebbing tide of Rhenish. So when for hock I drew pricket white wine, Swear 't had the flavour, and was right wine." The Rummer is introduced by Hogarth into his picture of "Night." Here Jack Sheppard com- mitted his first robbery by stealing two silver spoons. RUNNING FOOTMAN. The memory of this singular custom is kept alive in the ordinary name for a man-servant—a footman. In Charles Street, Berkeley Square, London, there is a particular memorial of it in the sign of a public-house, called the Running Footman, much used by the servants of the neighbouring gentry. Here is represented a tall, agilė man in gay attire, with a long stick with silver head, made hollow, in which he kept a hard- boiled egg and a little white wine, to serve as re- freshment on his journey; and this is supposed to be the origin of the footman's silver-mounted cane. He is engaged in running at the top of his speed; underneath is inscribed, "I am the only Running Footman." Down to the time of our grandfathers, while there was less convenience in the world than now, there was much more state. The nobility lived in a very dignified way, and amongst the par- 314 TAVERN ANECDOTES ticulars of their grandeur was the custom of keeping running footmen. All great people deemed it a necessary part of their travelling equipage that one or more men should run in front of the carriage, not for any useful purpose, unless it might be in some instances to assist in lifting the carriage out of ruts, or helping it through rivers, but princi- pally and professedly as a mark of the consequence of the traveller. Roads being generally bad, coach travelling was not rapid in those days, seldom above five miles an hour. The strain required to keep up with his master's coach was accordingly not very severe on one of these officials; at least, it was not so till towards the end of the eighteenth century, when, as a consequence of the accelera- tion of travelling, the custom began to give way, and at length the Running Footman was left out in the cold, and doomed to perpetuate his former existence by being swung out as a public-house sign. The Duke of Queensberry, who died in 1810, kept up the practice longer than any other of the London grandees; and Mr. Thoms, in Notes and Queries, relates an amusing anecdote of a man who came to be hired for the duty by the Duke. Grace was in the habit of trying their paces by seeing how they could run up and down Piccadilly, he watching them and timing them from his balcony. The man put on the livery before the trial; on one occasion, a candidate having run, stood before the balcony. "You will do very well His AND SAYINGS. 315 for me,” said the Duke. "And your livery will do very well for me,” replied the man, and gave the Duke a last proof of his ability by running away with it. SAINT GEORGE AND THE DRAGON as a sign is undoubtedly the greatest favourite in England, and it is equally well represented in other countries— "St. George that swinged the dragon, and e'er since Sits on his horse back at mine hostess's door." Old Ballad. SALUTATION originally represented the Angel Gabriel saluting the Virgin Mary, in which shape it was still occasionally seen in the seventeenth and THE SALUTATION. 316 TAVERN. ANECDOTES eighteenth centuries. The Salutation of later times is represented by an old beau and an antiquated lady, or by two old beaux like Sir Pertinax Macsycophant "a boo-ing and scrapin'" to one another. At present it is mostly rendered by two hands conjoined. SALUTATION AND CAT, in Newgate Street, London, seems at first sight a curious combina- tion, but one which is explained by a lithograph, which some five years ago hung in the coffee-room, and was presented to the late proprietor by, I believe, one of the Ackermanns. An aged dandy is saluting a friend whom he has met in the street, and offering him a pinch out of the snuff-box which forms the top of his wood-like cane. This box- knob was, it appears, called a "cat"—hence the connexion of terms apparently so foreign to each other. Some, not aware of this explanation, have accounted for the sign by supposing a tavern called the Cat was at some time pulled down, and its trade carried to the Salutation, which thenceforward joined the sign to its own; but this is improbable, seeing that we have never heard of any tavern called the Cat (although we do know of the Bark- ing Dogs) as a sign. Neither does the Salutation take its name from any Scriptural or sacred source, as the Angel and Trumpets, &c. The late land- lord preserved a tradition of the house to the effect that Sir Christopher Wren used to smoke AND SAYINGS. 317 his pipe there whilst St. Paul's was in course of re- building. More positive evidence had he to show of the "little smoky room at the Salutation and Cat," where Coleridge and Charles Lamb sat smoking Oronoko and drinking egg-hot;† the first discoursing of his idol, Bowles, and the other re- joicing mildly in Cowper and Burns, or both dream- ing of "Pantisocracy, and golden days to come on earth."-From Notes and Queries. SALMON is the Latin salma (the leaping fish). Some of them will leap to a height of ten, or even to fifteen or sixteen feet. The Salmon was the sign of Mrs. Salmon, the Madame Tussaud of the eighteenth century. When Mrs. Salmon first re- moved from St. Martins-le-Grand to near St. Dunstan's Church, Fleet Street, she announced, with true professional dignity, that the new locality "was more convenient for the quality's coaches to stand unmolested." Her "Royal Court of England" included 150 figures. There was a figure on crutches at the door; and Old Mother Shipton, the witch, kicked the astonished visitor as he left the exhibition. Mrs. Salmon died in 1812. 'It would have been ridiculous for the ingenious Mrs. Salmon to have lived at the sign of the Trout, for * Lamb to Coleridge, Talfourd's "Life and Letters of Lamb,” vol. i. pp. 14, 15. + Same to same, Ibid., pp. 41—43. 318 TAVERN ANECDOTES which reason she has erected before her house the figure of a fish that is her namesake." (The Spec- tator, No. 28.) The Salmon, as a public-house sign, is seen occasionally near places where it is caught, and in combination with the well-known Ball of the silk mercers, as the Salmon and Ball, and as the Salmon and Compasses, which is a Masonic emblem, and we have seen a Salmon and Basket. SALT IN BEER.-In Scotland it was customary to throw a handful of salt on the top of the mash to keep the witches from it. Salt really has the effect of moderating the fermentation and fining the liquor. SAMSON, or, SAMSON AND THE LION. - Our national admiration for athletic sports and mus- · cular strength made this a prominent sign for various houses in London in the seventeenth cen- tury, as appears from extant trade tokens. "Then went Samson down to the vineyards of Timnath, and behold, a young lion roared against him, and he rent him as he would have rent a kid, and he had nothing in his hand." (Judges xiv. 5 and 6.) Samson is a term applied to any man of unusual strength, so called from the Judge of Israel. A Parson Edwards, who was among the first to start a temperance society in Brighton some forty years ago, invented a compound of milk, eggs, sugar, &c., which he designated "Samson." AND SAYINGS. 319 SANGUINARY OCCUPATION.-A certain man in Brechin who kept a public-house, thought that he might have an addition to his income by keeping stables, and accordingly gave orders to a knight of the brush to put the following at the top of the close where he resided. "Stabling down here by David Carnegie." The painter, however, in the fulness of his orthographical knowledge, painted the subjoined fearful announcement "Stabbing done here by David Carnage." SARACEN'S HEAD.-John Selden, in his "Table Talk," says, "When our countrymen came home from fighting with the Saracens, and were beaten by them, they pictured them with huge, big, ter- rible faces (as you still see the sign of the Saracen's Head is), when, in truth, they were like other men. But this they did to save their own credit." The Saracen's Head, Snow Hill, London, was one of the last remaining, at the same time one of the oldest coaching-house taverns, but at length had to give way and make room for that great metropo- litan and long-required improvement, the Holborn Viaduct; but out of respect for its long services to the general public and good character a site as close as possible to that it originally occupied has been found, and a handsome and imposing new building has just been completed. SHABBY INGRATITUDE.—Men get drunk, and then lay the fault on the wine. 320 TAVERN ANECDOTES SHARP SET.-Eight people once dined on the top of the spire of Salisbury Cathedral. "They must have been very sharp set," observed a punster. SHEPHERD.—Although a Shakspearian shepherd says, mournfully and truthfully, "But I am shep- herd to another man, and do not shear the fleeces THE SHEPHERD AND CROOK. that I graze," he has nevertheless not been forgotten in the public-house signery of Great Britain and Ireland, and as such he appears in almost every district, either solus, or with his crook, dog, or shepherdess- "If all the world and love were young, And truth in every shepherd's tongue, AND SAYINGS. 321 These pretty pleasures might me move To live with thee, and be my love." At a shop in the London Road, Brighton, which combines the beershoppery with the greengrocery and ginger-poppery businesses under the sign of the Shepherd and Dog, painted by a local artist, who, although he has laid on his greens very thick, has made his blacks very brown, we copy the fol- lowing verbatim et literatim— "Good people Stop, And take a Drop Of Ginger Pop At this cheap Shop." We should like to see a gallery set apart in the Crystal Palace or the South Kensington Museum for the purpose of exhibiting all the signboards in connexion with the "ginger popperies" of Great Britain and Ireland that have from time to time been displayed by the vendors of that effervescible article of commerce during the present century. To our mind, a British Barnum, or a Holland of the North Woolwich Gardens and Exhibition no- toriety, who has had his three B's-that is, baby, barmaid, and beard shows-this would make a popular week and a little fortune. Then the rhymes, chimes, and jingles in the way of poetry. "What have we seen done in our time!" Ah, me! SHIRT.-"A witty, though unfortunate fellow, Y 322 TAVERN ANECDOTES 6 having tried all trades, but thriving by none, took the pot as his last refuge, and set up an alehouse with the sign of the Shirt, inscribed under it, THIS IS MY LAST SHIFT.' Much company was brought him thereby, and much profit." (Cam- bridge Fests.) Possibly he had remembered old John Hayward's ballad, "Be merry, friends," written in the time of King Edward the Sixth- "The loss of wealth is loss of dirt, As sages in all times assert: The happy man's without a shirt, And never comes to maim or hurt. Be merry, friends. Let the world slide, let the world go: A fig for care, and a fig for woe! If I can't pay, why I can owe ; And death makes equal high and low. Be merry, friends.” So also John Taylor, the Water Poet, as a con- current testimony, in his "Praise of Cleane Linne with the Commendable Use of the Laundresse," 1624, asserts that- "In weale or woe, in joy or dangerous drifts, A shirt will put a man unto his shifts." SHOP.-A temperance lecturer in Devonshire a short time since finished his discourse thus:— “And, finally, my hearers, why should any of you drink ardent spirits? My son Tom has as good cider as any in the county at 6d. per quart!" · AND SAYINGS. 323 SHOWER BATH.-A tavern-keeper in Kelso had recently erected a shower-bath in one of his rooms. One evening an Irishman, who happened to be drinking with a few companions, rose up for the purpose of ringing for more liquor. Looking round the room for the bell-rope, his eye fell on the rope attached to the shower-bath. "By Saint Patrick," said he, “I have found the bell-rope at last!" and seizing it, he gave it "a strong pull, and a pull altogether." In an instant he was drenched to the skin, and almost frantic with rage, to the no small amusement of his companions. SIMON, THE TANNER OF JOPPA. In Long Lane, Southwark, there is a house so named, probably having its origin in the times when Scrip- ture names were adopted for men and things. In Acts x. 32, we read that the Apostle Peter dwelt for some time at the house of Simon, a tanner. SIGNS OF A GOOD TAVERN OR INN.—“There is nothing which has yet been contrived by man by which so much happiness is produced, as by a good tavern or inn." (Boswell's "Life of Johnson,” 1766.) Shall I not take mine ease at mine own inn ?” Falstaff to the Hostess, Henry IV., Part I. act iii. William Shenstone was a poet (1714-63), whose works consist of songs, elegies, pastorals, a poem in Spenser's manner, entitled "The Schoolmistress," Y 2 324 TAVERN ANECDOTES letters, and miscellaneous essays. "The general recommendation of Shenstone," says Dr. Johnson, “is easiness and simplicity." He wrote on return- ing to his paternal estate at Hales-Owen, Shrop- shire, after some years of travelling, on a window of an inn at Henley- "Whoe'er has travell'd life's dull round, Where'er his stages may have been, May sigh to think he still has found The warmest welcome at an inn." William Coombe-the English Le Sage, as he has been aptly styled-the author of "Doctor Syntax," in which work he has left us the following picture of an inn, at Canto IX. he opens with 66 Along the varying road of life, In calm content, in toil or strife, At morn or noon, by night or day, As time conducts him on his way, How oft doth man, by care oppress'd Find at an inn a place of rest? * * * * Where'er his fancy bids him roam, In ev'ry inn he finds a home. Will not an inn his cares beguile, Where on each face he sees a smile? When cold winds blow, and tempests lower, And the rain pours in angry shower, The dripping trav'ller looks around To see what shelter may be found; Then on he drives, through thick and thin, To the warm shelter of an inn. Whoe'er would turn their wand'ring feet, Assur'd the kindest smiles to meet; Whoe'er would go, and not depart But with kind wishes from the heart, AND SAYINGS. 325 O let them quit the world's loud din, And seek the comforts of an inn; And, as the Doric SHENSTONE sung, With plaintive music on his tongue- 'Whoe'er has travell'd life's dull round, 'Where'er his," &c. &c.—See above. Coombe died on the 19th of June, 1823, in the eighty-second year of his age. SIGNBOARDS.-The history of signboards is an episode in the history of advertising. The progress of distinctive trade titles and emblems marks the progress of competition. If we could trace signs to their origin, we should probably find them nearly coeval with the formation of the earliest working communities. The Greeks had them. The Bush, which good wine is said never to need, comes down to us from the Romans. Signs followed the historical course of the arts by which they were produced. At first they were sculptured on the fronts of houses, as may be seen amongst the ruins of Herculaneum and Pompeii; they next took the form of mural paintings, examples of which still survive in the old Italian cities; and finally they grew into independent pictures, swung out in frames. In this advance from the quiet terra-cotta relievo, or the colourless bit of stone cutting sunk in the wall, to the conspicuous board swinging in the wind, the onward struggle for publicity is pretty clearly indicated. The earliest signs appear to have been selected with a view to 326 TAVERN ANECDOTES advertise the passer-by of the trades and handi- crafts they represented. The object was to make known the business of the house or shop, and the most obvious expedient for the accomplishment of that end was a symbol drawn from the occupation itself. Thus the gravedigger put out a pickaxe and lamp, the physician had his cupping-glass, two slaves carrying an amphora represented a Pompeian public-house, a bunch of grapes was carved over the lintel of a wine-shop, and a schoolmaster announced his calling by the figure of a boy undergoing the operation of a birching. In later times, signs, like all other usages, took the complexion of the age, and wandering into wider regions of fancy as rivalry pressed upon invention, they ultimately lost their distinguishing character- istics altogether. The incongruities generated in this way involve the most egregious absurdities. The old affinity between the sign and the calling came to be wholly disregarded, and the sign itself, which at first had some meaning in it, degenerated into an unintelligible masquerade. All the king- doms of nature have at last come to be exhausted in the pursuit of emblems that are not emblematic, and no subject is too lofty or too mean for the easel of the sign-painter. Not only is the sign in most cases foreign to the occupation, but it is frequently a puzzle to the wayside comprehension. When we shall have discovered the relation of a beershop to the Battle of Waterloo, we may hope AND SAYINGS. 327 to penetrate the mystery of the Whistling Oyster, or the Three Coffins and Sugar Loaf. Yet notwith- standing the anomalies and eccentricities by which we are beset in the retrospect, broad lights fall here and there which distinctly reveal the passing influence of manner sand events. The Crown and Rasp, for instance, over a tobacconist's shop evidently belongs to the primitive age of snuff taking, when the titillating dust was produced by scraping the tobacco root with a rasp, which snuff- takers carried in their pockets for the purpose; the Jerusalem, and similar signs, carry us back to the days of the Crusades; successive periods of naval enterprise are distinguished by the heads of ad- mirals and explorers, the Benbows, the Raleighs, and the Nelsons; memorable incidents are noted. in such signs as the Royal Oak and the South Sea Arms; medieval times are represented by the saints under whose protection certain trades and fabrics were placed; and to the religious book- sellers immediately following the Reformation we may confidently refer the origin of such signs as the Bible, the Three Bibles, the Bible and Crown, and others of a kindred description. A work which should track the stream of these pictorial memorials from the source downwards would form a curious and valuable contribution to the history of the people. But great difficulties lie in the way of a project of that nature. Much must be taken on trust and speculation. Accuracy of statement is 328 TAVERN ANECDOTES nearly unattainable except in special cases. Local records supply only scanty materials towards a chronology of signboards; and the inquiry, to be of any utility with a view to historical treatment, would demand an almost indefinite range of mis- cellaneous research. (The Fortnightly Review.) The following lines from Pasquin's "Nightcap," 1612, show that in those pictorial days a man was as well known by his "sign" as by his "company"- First there is maister Peter at the Bell, A linen-draper and a wealthy man ; And maister Thomas that doth stockings sell; And George the grocer at the Frying-Pan And maister Timothie the wollen-draper; And maister Salamon the leather-scraper; And maister Frank ye goldsmith at the Rose; And maister Phillip with the fiery nose. And maister Miles the mercer at the Harrow; And maister Mike the silkman at the Plow; And maister Giles the salter at the Sparrow; And maister Dicke the vintner at the Cow; And Harry Haberdasher at the Horne; And Oliver the Dyer at the Thorne; And Bernard, barber-surgeon at the Fiddle; And Moses, merchant-tailor at the Needle! Signs were indispensable before the knowledge of letters had been diffused amongst the people. They appealed to the eye in a language that every- AND SAYINGS. 329 body understood. They were necessary also as the only means of distinguishing houses anterior to the introduction of numbers, which did not take place till towards the middle of the last century. Even so lately as the time of Addison, the old lumbering directions for finding a particular house were resorted to; and when we see it set forth on a title-page that the publishers resided at such a sign "over against" the Royal Exchange, or "be- twixt St. Katherine's Stairs and the Mill," at the Three Bibles, about the middle of London Bridge, at the Sugar Loaf next Temple Bar, or in "the long shop under St. Mildred's Church in the Poultry," we may be sure that the book was printed before houses were numbered. And it was then a common practice with tradesmen not much known, when they advertised, to mention the colour of their next neighbour's door, balcony, or lamp, of which custom the following copy of a handbill will present a curious instance:-" Next to the GOLDEN DOOR, opposite Great Suffolk Street, near Pall Mall, at the Barber's Pole, liveth a certain person, Robert Barker, who having found out an excellent method for sweating or fluxing wiggs; his prices are 2s. 6d. for each bob, and 35. for every tye wigg and pig-tail, ready money." The history of signboards, like other histories, exhibits the usual course of vicissitudes, and has its regular rise and fall. When boards were first swung out they projected in iron or wooden frames from the 330 TAVERN ANECDOTES fronts of the houses. A person perambulating the streets must have felt rather unpleasant during a high wind, when hundreds of signboards were swinging on rusty hinges above him threatening a descent, and penthouses and spouts pouring cascades upon his luckless head. In 1718 the sign and front of a house in Fleet Street, opposite St. Bride Lane, fell down and killed two young ladies, the king's jeweller, and a cobbler. We next find signboards advancing into the streets on poles erected for the purpose; and by degrees this encroachment on the causeway was carried so far, and many other acci- dents having occurred by the falling of signs, that legislation stepped in, first to limit the extent of the invasion, and then to abolish the poles, and at last it compelled all shopkeepers to fix their signs against the walls without projection; and spouts were to be so constructed as to discharge the water without saluting passengers. Formerly signs were employed not only by trades of every description, but by the public offices. The Admiralty hung out its sign over the entrance, and the East India House had its painted device. Written signs did not come into fashion till the mass of the people began to be able to read; and amongst the latest introduc- tions of that kind were the names, in lieu of signs, of the retailers of goods and the proprietors of houses of entertainment. Some three and four hundred years ago certain parts of the town were appropriated to certain trades. Almost every } AND SAYINGS. 331 branch of trade had a quarter of its own. The goldsmiths, or bankers, kept open shops in Lom- bard Street. Long Lane was the great mart for second-hand clothes in the sixteenth and seven- teenth centuries; booksellers, and printsellers, and vendors of music congregated about St. Paul's; and the second-hand booksellers established a colony of stalls in Moorfields. The booksellers used their signs as the colophons of their books, which may explain their singularity. There is scarcely a solitary instance in which the sign bore the remotest relation to literature. They seem rather to have been selected with a view to attract notice by their incongruity. Amongst them are such signs as the Fox, the Gun, the Windmill, the Resurrection, and the Bull, &c. All these, and a great many more equally inconsistent, belong to the Elizabethan period. As the following title- pages, copied from old books, give us a tolerable idea of the whimsicality of booksellers' signs, at a time when every tradesman had his dis- tinguishing emblem, and may not be altogether unacceptable to the bibliomanist, they are here preserved; they will, at least, be an excuse for any absurdity that may present itself in that way in modern times- Barclay's Shyp of Folys. Imprentyd in the Cyte of London, in Flete Stre, at the signe of Saynt George, by Richard Pynson, to hys coste and charge. Date, 1509. 332 TAVERN ANECDOTES Berner's (Juliana) Booke of Hawking, Hunting, Fyshing. Imprynted at London, in Flete Streate, at the sygne of the Rose Garlande, by William Copland. Barnes (Barnabe) Divine Centvrie of Spirituall Sonnets. London, printed by Iohn Windet, dwel- ling at Poule's Wharf, at the signe of the Crosse Keys. 1595. The Workes of Geoffrey Chaucer. Imprinted at London, by Wyllyam Bonham, dwellyng in Paul's Church Yarde, at the signe of the Reed Lyon. Chaucer's Assemble of Foules. Imprynted in London, in Flete strete, at the sygne of the Sonne, agaynste the Condyte, by me Wynkyn de Worde, the xxiiii day of January, in the yere of our Lorde, 1530. Churchyard's General Rehearsall of Warres. Imprinted in London, by Edward White, dwellyng at the little North door of Paule's Church, at the signe of the Gunne. 1579. Goodall's Tryall of Trauell. London, printed by John Norton, and are to be sold by James Upton, at his shop in Paule's Church-yearde, at the sign of the Fox. 1630. Hayman's Quodlibets, &c. London, printed by Elizabeth All-de, for Roger Mitchell, dwelling in St. Paul's Church Yard, at the signe of the Bull's Head. 1628. Wilfride Holmes Fall and Euill Successe of AND SAYINGS. 333 Rebellion, &c. Imprinted at London, by Henry Binneman, dwelling in Knightrider Streate, at the signe of the Mermaide. 1573. Ben Jonson's Poems. Printed for Thomas Pas- senger, at the Three Bibles, about the middle of London Bridge. 1672. Lydgate's Lyfe of our Ladye. Imprinted at London, in Flete Strete, within Temple Barre, at the sygne of the Hand and Starre, by Richard Tottel. 1554. Lovelace's Lucasta, Epodes, Odes, &c. London, printed by Thomas Harper, and are to be sold by Thomas Evvster, at the Gun, in Ivie Lane. 1649. The Legend of Captain Jones. London, printed for Samuel Mosely, at the Prince's Armes, in St. Paul's Church Yard. 1659. Lachrymæ Musarum. To be sold by John Holden, at the Blue Anchor, in the New Exchange. 1650. William L'Isle's Fovr Books of Du Bartos. London, printed by T. Payne, for Francis Eggles- fielde, and are to be sold at the sign of the Mary- gold, in Paule's Church Yard. 1637. Literature from the North, and News from All Nations. Printed for John Dunton, at the Black Raven, in the Poultry. May's Victorious Reigne of King Edward the Third. To be sold at the signe of the Talbot, without Aldersgate. 1635. 334 TAVERN ANECDOTES Maxwell's Laudable Life and Deplorable Death of our peerless Prince Henry. London, printed by Edward Allde, for Thomas Pauier, dwelling near the Royal Exchange, at the sign of the Cats and parrat. 1612. Of Milton's Paradise Lost it may not be amiss to insert the names and signs of the early printers and publishers. We find a copy noted in the "Bibliotheca Anglo Poetica." London, printed and are to be sold by Peter Parker, under Creed Church, near Aldgate, and by Robert Boulter, at the Turk's Head, in Bishopsgate Street, &c. 1667. Ist edition. Another Edition, being also the first, with an altered title page. London, printed by S. Simmons, and to be sold by S. Thomson, at the Bishop's Head, in Duck Lane, &c. 1668. Another Edition, to be sold by T. Elder, at the Angel, in Little Britain. Anthony Munday's Banquet of Daintie Conceits. At London, printed by J. C., for Edward White, and are to be sold at the signe of the Gunne, at the little north door of Paule's. Anno 1588. A Night's Search, by Humphrey Mill. London, printed by Richard Bishop, for Laurence Blaick- lock, at the Sugar Loaf, next Temple Barre. Men Miracles, &c. Printed for William Sheares, Jun., at the Blue Bible, in Bedford Street, in Covent Garden. 1656. Manby's Triumph of Oliver Cromwell. London, AND SAYINGS. 335 printed for John Tey, at the White Lion, in the Strand, near the New Exchange. 1652. Garden, London, The Mysteries of Love and Eloquence; or, the Arts of Wooing and Complimenting, as they are managed in the Spring Hide Park, the New Exchange, &c. printed by James Rawlins, for Obadiah Blagrave, at the Black Bear and Star, in St. Paul's Church Yard. 1685. Mason's History of the Young Converted Gallant. London, printed by F. L., for B. Harris, at the Stationers' Arms, in Sweeting's Rents, by the Royal Exchange. 1676. Niccol's London Artillery. Printed for William Welby, and are to be sold by him at the signe of the Swanne. 1616. Naps upon Parnassus, &c. London, printed by express order from the Wits, for N. Brook, at the Angel, in Cornhill. 1658. Sir Thomas Overbury's Exquisite and Singular Poem, of the choice of a Wife, &c. London, printed for Laurence Lisle, and are to be sold at his shop, at the sign of the Tyger's Head, in St. Paul's Church Yard. 1614. Ditto, his Wittie Conceits, &c. Printed for Robert Allott, at the Bear, in St. Paul's Church. Yard. The Vision of Pierce Plowman, newly imprynted after the author's olde copy, &c. Imprynted at London by Owen Rogers, dwelling near unto 336 TAVERN ANECDOTES Great Saint Bartholomew's Gate, at the sygne of the Spred Egle. 1561. Phaer's Seven First Books of Virgil's Eneid. London, printed for Richard Jugge, dwellying at the north door of Poule's Church, at the sign of the Bible. 1558. Phaer and Twine's Virgil. London, printed for Thomas Creede, dwelling at the Old Change, at the signe of the Eagle and Child. 1584. Peacham's Garden of Heroical Devices. London, printed in Shoe Lane, at the signe of the Faulcon, by Wa. Dight. 1612. Primrose's Chain of Pearls; or, a Memorial of the Peerless Graces, &c., of Queen Elizabeth. London, sold by Philip Waterhouse, at his shop, at the signe of St. Paul's Head, in Canning Street, near London Stone. 1630. The Pleasaunt, Playne, and Pythye Pathway leading to a Vertuos and Honest Lyfe, no less Profitable and Dilectable. Imprinted at London by Nicholas Hill, for John Case, dwellynge at the signe of the Baule, in Paul's Church Vard. Thomas Powell's Passionate Poet. London, printed by Valentine Simmes, dwelling on Adling Hill, at the signe of the White Swanne. 1601. John Phillip's English Fortune Teller. London, printed by E. Brooksby, at the Golden Bull, in Pye Corner. 1703. Pendrago; or, the Carpet Knight and his Kalen- dar. London, printed for John Newton, at the AND SAYINGS. 337 Three Pigeons, over against the Inner Temple Gate, in Fleet Street. 1698. Poole's English Parnassus. London, printed for Thomas Johnson, at the Golden Key, in St. Paul's Church Yard. 1657. Poetical Recreations. London, printed for Ben- jamin Crayle, at the Peacock and Bible, at the West end of St. Paul's. 1688. Political Merriment; or, Truth told to some Tune. Sold by S. Keimer, at the sign of the Printing Press, in Paternoster Row, in the glorious year of our preservation, 1714. Samuel Perdage's Poems on several occasions. Printed by W. G., for Henry Marsh, at the Prince's Armes, in Chancery Lane, and Peter Dring, in the Poultry, neer the Counter. 1658. Amongst the booksellers of modern date may be mentioned Crowder, at the sign of the Looking- glass, but as knowledge is the mirror of the mind, perhaps it was not objectionable. Next comes the Longmans, at the Ship; but, as the members of that respectable house have sailed through with so high a character, no objection ought to be made to their symbol. But Baldwin, at the sign of the Rose; Evans, at the Red Lion; and Key, at the ;. Hare, cannot be so well accounted for. Of Buck- land, at the sign of the Buck, except from etymo- logy, or similarity of sound, we cannot perceive the sense. White, at Horace's Head, and Rivington's, at the Bible and Crown, were classically and reli- Z 338 TAVERN ANECDOTES giously correct. Cobbett, the great political humbug, put up the Bible, Crown, and Constitution in Pall Mall; but if we may judge of his general habits, he could only have done so that he might be afterwards able to say he had pulled them down. We have taken the trouble to make out a list from the "Licensed Victuallers' Directory" of the signs. which occur most frequently in taverns and public- houses in London. The results yield conclusive evidence of the loyalty of the licensed victuallers, and show, what few people would be likely to suspect, that their leanings are decidedly loyal and aristocratic. Of the common signs, which bear apparently no special significance, the Red Lions are the most numerous. There are no less than 106 of them. How we came by our Red Lions and Blue Lions, and White Harts, discloses in itself the early connexion that existed between the hostel and the aristocracy. When there were no inns, or such only as accommodated wayfarers of an in- ferior grade, the houses of the nobility, in the absence of the families, were thrown open for the reception of travellers. The family arms always hung in front of these mansions. Thus, by an easy and obvious transition, the monsters of heraldry became identified with the inns, which adopted them for signs. Next in frequency we have 37 Grapes, 55 Ships, and 68 Coach and Horses. The abstract sentiment of devotion to the State is rather low in the scale. There are only AND SAYINGS. 339 6 Constitutions, 102 Crowns, besides 30 combined with other objects, while the once glorious Crown and Anchor has dwindled down to 27, which looks as if our navy had become nearly obsolete in the taprooms. The Irish victuallers are especially wanting in the expression of national allegiance to the throne; for while the Rose and Thistle are often found in combination with the Crown, the Shamrock has never entered into the alliance. Amends, however, are made in other directions. The peerage enjoys a large share of patronage. Dukes are in great request. Including Dukes' Heads, there are 211 altogether, of which 37 are monopolized by the Duke of Wellington, and 43 by the Duke of York. At the head of the Mar- quises we have 20 Marquises of Granby, whose head survives his reputation, by a dispensation of favour which is doubtless as mysterious to the publicans themselves as it must be to the public. But it is to royalty we must look for the steadfast politics of Boniface. We have 64 Georges, 22 George IV.s, and 12 Prince Regents; not much to come down to us from the Georgian era, yet a great deal taken in connexion with 16 William IV.s, and other testimonies of attachment to the reigning family. It appears that London contained two years ago and the number is in all probability augmented at the present time, for the tendency is * So that the lot are worth just twenty Sovereigns and half-a-one-say a Prince.-Printer's Devil. Z 2 340 TAVERN ANECDOTES A to increase in the palatial grooves-100 Kings' Arms, 25 Queens' Arms, 93 Kings' Heads, 65 Queens' Heads, 10 Kings and Queens, 3 Queens, 3 Queens and Prince Alberts, 17 Queen Victorias, 23 Prince Alberts, 63 Prince and Princesses of Wales, 17 Feathers, 10 Prince Alfreds, 4 Prince Arthurs, 9 Princess Royals, and 3 Princess Vic- torias, besides a few of the younger branches, and royalties too numerous to recapitulate. Who, after this, shall gainsay the allegiance of the English in general, and the public-house interest in par- ticular, to the throne and the house of Hanover? We cannot add that the Church fares as well as the State, for the only signs that have any bearing upon it are 28 Mitres, and 13 York Arms and Min- sters. Sign-painting is a term of opprobrium in art ; and not without reason. Great artists have painted signs, notwithstanding. Cipriani, who repaired the pictures by Rubens on the ceiling of Whitehall Chapel; Ibbetson, Smirke, and Wilson, the acade- micians; Morland, Hogarth, Harlow, Sir Charles Ross, Herring, and Millais are amongst the artists of note who have painted signs. The catalogue might be extended by names no less illustrious than those of Holbein, Watteau, and Horace Vernet. SIGNS OF LOVE AT OXFORD. BY AN INN-CONSOLABLE LOVER. She's as light as the Greyhound, and fair as the Angel; Her looks than the Mitre much more sanctified are; AND SAYINGS. 341 But she flies like the Roebuck, and leaves me to range ill, Still looking to her as my own true polar Star. New Inn-ventions I try, with new art to adore, But my fate is, alas! to be voted a Boar My Goats I forsook to contemplate her charms, And must own she is fit for our noble Kings' Arms. Now Cross'd, now Jockey'd, now sad, now elate, The Chequers appear but a map of my fate; I blush'd like a Blue-cur to send her a Pheasant, But she call'd me a Turk, and rejected my present. So I hopped to the Barley-mow', griev'd in my mind, That the Ark from the Flood ever rescu'd man- kind! In my dreams Lions roar, and the Green Dragon grins, And friends rise in shape of the Seven deadly sins. When I ogle the Bells, should I see her approach, I skip like a Nag, and jump into the Coach. She is crimson and white, like a Shoulder of Mutton, Not the red of the Ox was so bright when first put on. Like the Hollybush prickles she scratches my liver, While I moan, and I die like the Swan by the river! SINGULAR ELECTION EXPENSES.-During the time of a contested election in Meath some forty } 342 TAVERN ANECDOTES years ago, Sir Mark Sumerville sent orders to the hotel proprietor in Trim to board and lodge all that should vote for him, for which he received the following bill. He had it framed, and it still hangs in Sumerville House, co. Meath. The copy from which this is taken was found amongst the papers of the late Very Rev. Archdeacon O'Connell, Vicar- General of Meath Diocese- (( "16th April, 1826. My Bill. To eating 16 freeholders above stairs for Sir Marks at 3s. 6d. a-head, is to me 27. 12s. Od. To eating 16 more below stairs, and two priests after supper, is to me 27. 15s. 9d. To 6 beds in one room and four in another at a guinea every bed and not more than four in any bed at a time cheap enough 'God' knows is to me 227. 15s. To 18 horses and 5 mules about my yard all night at 13s. every one of them and for a man which was lost on the head of watching them all night is to me 51. 5s. od. For breakfast on tay in the morning for every one of them and as many more as they brought as near as I can guess is to me 4l. 12s. od. To raw whisky and punch without talking of pipes tobacco as well as for porter and as well as for breaking a pot above stairs and other glasses and delft for the first day and night I am not sure, but for the three days and a half of the election as little as I can call it and not to be very exact it is in all or thereabouts as near as I can guess, and not to AND SAYINGS. 343 be too particular is to me at least 797. 15s. 9d. For shaving and cropping off the heads of the 49 free- holders for Sir Marks at 13d. for every head of them by my brother has a wote is to me 27. 13s. Id. For womit and nurse for Poor Tom Kernan in the middle of the night when he was not expected to live is to me ten hogs. I don't talk of the Piper or for keeping him sober as long as he was sober is to me 40/. 10s. Od. the total Signed his oo in the place Jemmy Cars 2 12 O О 2 15 22 15 оо 5 5 0 0 4. 12 O O 79 15 0 9 Wife Bryan × Garraty mark. 2 13 0 I IO IO O O 100 10 7 you may say III. Os. od. so you honour Sir Mark, send me this eleven hundred by Bryan himself who and I prays for your success always in Trim and no more at present." SMALL-BEER." To suckle fools and chronicle small-beer."-Iago, Othello, ii. I. SMALL-BEER AND STRONG BEER.-Mr. Hugh Saunders, remarkable for his hospitality, being accosted at his gate in the country by a beggar, 344 TAVERN ANECDOTES : who humbly solicited a mug of small beer from his worship. "How now!" says Mr. S., "what times. are these, when beggars must be choosers? I say, Alf. Gunn, bring this fellow a mug of strong beer!" SMOKING ODDITY.—A coffee-house keeper of Vienna hit upon the following eccentric means of attracting customers. He had a china pipe-bowl suspended over a large circular table, of such gigantic dimensions as to be capable of containing a pound of tobacco, and supplied with a sufficient number of tubes to accommodate thirty persons at one time. The novelty succeeded; the coffee- house was constantly crowded, and the landlord subsequently transformed his pipe-bowl into a chariot. SOBER or Sobrius is s, privative, and ebrius, drunk. Ebrius, from the obsolete Latin word bria (a cup), connected with brisa (pressed grapes), and equivalent to our expression "in his cups." SOLDIER'S WIT.-After the signal defeat of the French at Leipsic in October, 1813, the town be- came full of a mixed medley of soldiers of Russia, Austria, and Prussia; of course, a great variety of coin was in circulation there; a Russian private, who had picked up a little broken French and German, went to the largest hotel in Leipsic, and, displaying a silver rouble to the landlord, inquired AND SAYINGS. 345 if this coin was current there. "Oh yes,” replied he, "you may have whatever the house affords for that money-it passes current here at present." Our fortunate soldier, finding himself in such com- pliant quarters, called about him most lustily, and the most sumptuous dinner the house could afford, washed down by sundry bottles of expensive wines, was despatched without ceremony. On going away he tendered at the bar the identical rouble which the landlord had inadvertently led him to expect was to perform such wonders. The stare, the shrug, and the exclamation elicited from mine host by such a tender, may be more easily conceived than expressed. An explanation took place, and the landlord quickly found, not only that nothing more was likely to be got, but also that the laugh would be tremendously against him. This latter he had a very Christian wish to divide with his neighbour. Taking, therefore, his guest to the door of the hotel, he requested him to look over the way. "Do you see," said he, "that large hotel opposite? That fellow, the landlord of it, is my sworn rival, and nothing can keep this story from his ears, in which case I shall never hear the last of it. Now, my good fellow, you are not only welcome to your entertainment, but I will instantly give you a thaler into the bargain if you will promise, on the word of a soldier, to attempt the very same trick with him to-morrow that succeeded so well with me to-day." The Russian took the thaler, and accepted the con- 346 TAVERN ANECDOTES ditions; but, having buttoned up the coin securely in his pocket, he took his leave of the landlord, say- ing: "Sir, I deem myself in honour bound to use my best endeavours to put your wishes in execu- tion; I will do al! I can, but candidly tell you that I fear I shall not succeed, since I played the very same trick off upon that gentleman yesterday; and it is to his particular advice, alone, that you are indebted for the honour of my company to-day." SOUNDINGS ON A BAR.-Rapping for drinks. SOUP ANYWAY.-At an excellent hotel, not a hundred miles from Liverpool, they were one day short of a waiter, when a newly arrived Hibernian was hastily made to supply the place of a more expert hand. "Now, Barney," said mine host, "mind you serve every man with soup, anyhow." "Bedad, I'll do that same," said the alert Barney. Soup came on the table, and Barney, after helping all but one guest, came upon the last one. "Soup, sir?" said Barney. "No soup for me," said the gent. “But you must have it," said Barney, "it is the rules of the house." "D-n the house," ex- claimed the guest, highly exasperated; "when I don't want soup I wont eat it-get along with you." "Well," said Barney, with solemnity, “all I can say is jist this; it's the regulations of the house, and the divil a drop else ye'll get till ye finish the soup!" The traveller then gave in, and the soup was gobbled. AND SAYINGS. 347 SPIRITED REPLY.-" Doctor," said a hard-look- ing, brandy-faced customer the other day to a physician-"Doctor, I'm troubled with an oppres- sion-an uneasiness about the breast. What do you suppose the matter is?" "All very easily accounted for," said the physician; "you have water on the chest." "Water! Come, that'll do well enough for a joke; but how could I get water on my chest, when I haven't touched a drop in fif- teen years! If you had said brandy, you might have hit it." SPIRITS. A red-nosed gentleman asked "Honest John" Tompkins, one of the best wits and tennis-players of the day, whether he believed in spirits. "Ay, sir," replied he, looking him full in the face, "I see too much evidence before me to doubt that !" "SPIRITS OF THE DEEP," says Nat Taylor, “are drams taken on the sly." STAR INN.-In compliment to the lords of Oxford, whose cognisance it is, and who decided the fate of the battle of Barnet. STIRRUP CUP.-In the Highlands, a cup given to travellers when their feet are in the stirrups before they finally leave. Called in some places a "parting cup." 'Lord Marmion's bugles blew to horse; Then came the stirrup cup in course; 348 TAVERN ANECDOTES Between the Baron and his host No point of courtesy was lost." SIR WALTER SCOTT, Marmion, i. 31. SUETT'S LANDLADY.-Suett had at one time a landlady who exhibited an inordinate love for the vulgar fluid gin, a beverage which Suett himself by no means held in abhorrence. She would order her servant to get the supplies after the following fashion: "Betty, go and get a quartern loaf and half a quartern of gin." Off started Betty. She was speedily recalled: "Betty, make it half a quartern loaf, and a quartern of gin." But Betty had never fairly got across the threshold on the mission, ere the voice was again heard: "Betty, on second thoughts, you may as well make it all gin.” SUCK THE MONKEY.-Captain Marryat says that rum is sometimes inserted in cocoa-nuts for the private use of sailors, and as cocoa-nut shells are generally fashioned into the resemblance of a monkey's face, sucking the rum from them is called sucking the monkey. The phrase is extended to other ways of taking spirits surreptitiously, as sucking it from a cask by means of a straw. SUN INN.-In compliment to the ill-omened house of York. SUN. The sun is an important symbol in the distiller's arms, and hence doubtless the occa- sion of its frequent adoption as a tavern sign. AND SAYINGS. 349 Signs formerly, in addition to the symbol, had frequently an inscription or motto. The Craftsman, Sept. 30, 1738, asserts that, "the peculiarities of a nation may be discovered by the choice of their signs;" and as an instance of the art and wit in drawing customers to their houses, quotes, among others- (( THE BEST DRINK UNDER THE SUN." There was a Sun Tavern, near Fulwood's Rents, in High Holborn, of which house there is a trade. token in the Beaufoy Collection, thus-" WILLIAM COBB, Sun in rays, IN HIGH HOLBORN. HIS HALF PENY." In the Banquet of Fests, 1639, it is thus noticed-" A pleasant fellow, willing to put off a lame horse, rode him from the Sunne Tavern. within Cripplegate to the Sunne in Holborn, neere the Fuller's Rents, and the next day offered to sell him in Smithfield. The buyer asked him why he looked so leane. 'Marry, no marvel!' answered he, 'for but yesterday I rid him from sunne to sunne, and never drew bit.' The Sun on many signs is shown as a human face, from which externally proceed spikes as radia- ting points, to indicate the rays resulting from that great luminary. A sign of this character is said to have bothered a recruit, who, having emerged for the first time from his native village, 139 350 TAVERN ANECDOTES was billeted at the Sun, and writing home de- scribed the sign as "the mon's face set a' round of skivers." SWAN.-The Swan is very common as a public- house sign throughout the British isles and various parts of Europe; and, like the Peacock and Phea- sant, was an emblem of the parade of chivalry. Every knight chose one of these birds, which was associated with God, the Virgin, and his lady-love in his oath. Hence their use as public-house signs. But many are the reasons, rhymes, and jokes why so many alehouses in town and country have the sign of the Swan. Some there are who assert that it is because that bird is so fond of liquid! At the village of Ravelston, near Edinburgh, over the door of a roadside inn was a painted signboard of a swan swimming in the water, and below it these lines- "As the swan loves water clear, So do men good ale and beer." And at the sign of the Swan at a country inn near Bandon, Cork, the following humorous sign may be read- 'This is the Swan That left her pond, To dip her bill in porter ; Why not we As well as she Become regular topers ?" The Old Swan, by the Old Swan Stairs, Upper AND SAYINGS. 351 Thames Street, was a celebrated landing-place on the Middlesex side of the river Thames, a little "above bridge," where people used to land, and then walk to the other side of old London Bridge, rather than run the risk of what was called "shoot- ing the bridge"-an undertaking, to amateur water- men especially, not unattended with danger. The Swan at Charing Cross. The steward's account of disbursements by or for Sir John Howard, subsequently created Duke of Norfolk, and slain on Richard's side at Bosworth Field, shows the Swan to have been an old house of re- pute"xxj. day of Feverer, 1466-7. Item, my mastyr paid for his costes at the Swan at Westemenstre ijs. ijd." On a trade token extant of this house there is a swan holding a sprig in its bill, with the inscription, "Mark Rider, at the Swan against the Mewes, 1665. His Halfe Penny." The Swan, in Ben Jonson's time, was either distinguished for the excellence of the wine or the poet that secured to him- self the good offices of Rafe, or Ralph, the waiter. At some Court conviviality that followed the marriage of Frederick Palsgrave of Bohemia and King James's daughter Elizabeth, Ben Jonson. was required extemporaneously to say grace, with which he complied in the following manner, as recorded by Aubrey, iii. 415, and confirmed by Powell the actor, in the dedication to his Trea- cherous Brothers, 4to, 1696. + 352 TAVERN ANECDOTES { A GRACE BY BEN JONSON EXTEMPORE BEFORE KING JAMES. "Our king and queen, the Lord God blesse! The Palsgrave and the Lady Besse ; And God blesse every living thing That lives and breathes, and loves the king. God blesse the councill of estate, And Buckingham the fortunate. God blesse them all, and keepe them safe; And God blesse me, and good Rafe." Rafe was. "The king was mighty inquisitive to know who Ben told him 'twas the drawer at the Swanne Taverne, by Charing Crosse, who drew him good canarie. For this drollery his Matie gave him an hundred poundes." The Swan and Bridge in New Fish Street.— Trade tokens of this house are in the Beaufoy Collection, with the date of 1657; on one side old London Bridge with the houses thereon is repre- sented; the swan standing on it is intended for a pun- the Swan above Bridge, to distinguish it from the Old Swan below Bridge, in Upper Thames Street. Pepys once dined at this house—“Dined at the Swan at Dowgate, a poor house and ill- dressed, but very good fish and plenty." New Fish Street, or Fish Street Hill, was wholly de- stroyed in the Great Fire in 1666; but on being rebuilt the sign of the Swan was again adopted, and yet remains at the corner of Globe Court. The Swan at Knightsbridge had a bad repu- tation. It was well known to the young gallants AND SAYINGS. 353 of the period. ""Tis a damned house, that Swan; that Swan at Knightsbridge is a confounded house!"-Otway's Soldier of Fortune, 1681. The Swan, in common with all other things used to represent public-house signs, is to be found combined with many strange and withal very un- likely matters. Some few may be easily explained away, as, for example-the sugar-loaf was a grocer's sign, and one of that fraternity entering into the public line brought his own trade sign, and com- bined it with a swan. The conceit being a happy one, caused others, without rhyme or reason, to imitate it; and so to this day the Swan and Sugar Loaf is not an unfrequent sign. The Swan is to be found side by side with a Bottle, a Falcon, a Harp; Swan and the Hoop, as we have the Cock, Bell, and many other things "on hoop." These hoops were ornamental ironwork circles, found useful for placing the intended sign in, perched or in suspen- sion, and were also found handy for dressing with evergreens on festive occasions, so that in reality the "hoop" formed no portion of the sign, and was merely used to exhibit that which was to be held as the sign of the house. So that the Cock, Bell, Swan, &c., was the sign meant. The Cock or Swan on the Hoop was simply the eye-reading of the people. Take, as an example, the case of the somewhat common sign of the Feathers; here it was intended that the house should be called the Prince of Wales's Arms, but the eye-reading converted it A A 354 TAVERN ANECDOTES into the Feathers, as it is now often written up- the three ostrich feathers and the "Ich dien” being dispensed with altogether. The Swan and Maidenhead, by Shakspeare's house at Stratford- on-Avon, is known to the whole civilized world. The Swan and Falcon-two badges of Edward III. -was a sign in Hereford; while the sign of the Swan and Salmon, combined on many signs, are doubtless in honour of two of the finest orna- ments of our English rivers. The very name is sufficient to call up a pleasant picture. The White Swan, as a public-house sign, is in compliment to Anne of Cleves, descended from the Knight of the Swan. The Black Swan is no rara avis in signboard painting, it being found in every town and village throughout the country; the expression is borrowed from the well-known verse- "Rara avis in terris, nigroque simillima cygno." SWAN WITH TWO NECKS.-A corruption of "Swan with Two Nicks." The Vintners' Company mark their swans with two nicks cut in the beak, and nothing could be a more appropriate sign for a tavern than the vintners' emblem. Royal swans are marked with five nicks-two lengthwise and three across the bill. By an old law, or custom rather, every swan that swam under London Bridge belonged, by right of office, to the Lieutenant of the Tower. AND SAYINGS. 355 SWAN HOPPING.-A corruption of Swan Upping --that is, taking the swans up the river Thames for the purpose of marking them. SYMPTOMS OF VANITY.-To go to Calais, return next day, and afterwards talk of a continental tour. To go into a tavern, ask in a loud tone if the cham- pagne be good, and in a low voice order a bottle of ginger-beer. SYNTAX.-A far-seeing teetotaller being asked the meaning of syntax, wittily replied, "The tax one has to pay for getting drunk." TABARD.--The Tabard, in Southwark, is where Chaucer supposes his pilgrims to have assembled. The tabard was a jacket without sleeves, whole before, open on both sides, with a square collar, winged at the shoulder like a cape, and worn by military nobles over their armour. It was generally emblazoned with heraldic devices. Heralds still wear a tabard. "Item....à chascun ung grand tabart De cordelier, jusques aux pieds." Le Petit Testament du Maistre François Villon. TAKE A HAIR OF THE DOG THAT BIT YOU.— After a debauch take a little wine the next day. Take a cool draught of ale in the morning, after a night's excess. The advice was given literally in ancient times, "If a dog bites you, put a hair of the dog into the wound," on the homoeopathic A A 2 356 TAVERN ANECDOTES principle of similia similibus curantur (like cures like). TAKING WINE.-The difficulty of getting a glass of wine in the regular way has exercised the in- genuity of mankind. Mr. Theodore Hook was once observed, during dinner at Hatfield House, nodding like a Chinese mandarin in a tea-shop. On being asked the reason, he replied, "Why, Lady Salisbury, when no one else asks me to take champagne, I take sherry with the épergne, and bow to the flowers." TAKE CARE, SIR.-An awkward waiter, handing a plate to a gentleman, spilled some of the gravy upon his clothes, and immediately cried out, "Take care, sir!" "Why, you rascal," exclaimed the gentleman, who thought he had suffered enough from the fellow's negligence, "are you going to do it again ?" TALBOT.-The talbot, an old, and now almost obsolete, sort of dog, noted for its quick scent and eager pursuit of game, has often done duty on public-house signboards. On the Talbot at the foot of Birdiip Hill, Gloucestershire, they have on one side of the board- "Before you do this hill go up, Stop and drink a cheerful cup." AND SAYINGS. 357 Whilst he who comes in the opposite direction, perceives this half of the sign- "You are down this hill, all danger's past, Stop and take a cheerful glass.” TAP, TAP.-A military officer in Texas boasts, through the papers, that his men "would rally at the tap of the drum." Perhaps they would rally still more promptly at the tap of the tavern. TAP-TUB.—The vulgar name of the Morning Advertiser newspaper, from the fact that every member of the Incorporated Society of Licensed Victuallers are required to take one copy. TAPSTER properly means a bar maid; "-ster" is the Anglo-Saxon feminine suffix -estre which remains in spin-ster (a female spinner). Simi- larly, kempster, webster, baxter, dryster, salster, huckster, &c., are all feminine nouns, showing that these at one time were female occupations. (E. Adams, English Language.) TAP THE ADMIRAL.-To suck liquor from a cask by a straw. Hotten says it was first done with the rum-cask in which the body of Admiral Lord Nelson was brought to England, and when the cask arrived the admiral was found "high and dry." TAP-UP SUNDAY.-The Sunday preceding the fair held on the 2nd October, on St. Catherine's Hill, near Guildford, and so called because any 358 TAVERN ANECDOTES person, with or without a licence, may open a "tap" or sell beer on the hill for that one day. TEMPERANCE will never be effectually preached by a Pump. To throw cold water is discouraging; and the Pump, moreover, affords a handle to ridi- cule. If he wants to deliver an effectual discourse on sobriety, the apostle of that virtue had better take his stand on the barrel-which vessel should contain light French Wine admitted at a consider- ably reduced duty. The only way to induce the British public to relinquish its present drinking habits, is to give it something better to drink. That is to be found in the draught which cheers the heart without getting into the head; and now that the French alliance has become so desirable, one of the wisest things we can do is to pledge amity with our neighbours in their own cup. TENDER MEAT.-A friend who dines at the different restaurants announces the discovery that in these places tender meat is always very rare. TENT WINE.-A corruption of the Spanish vino tinto; so called because it is white wine tinted. THE BITER BIT.-On Sunday week two men, well dressed (teetotallers, we understand), went to a public-house near the East end of the town, and after stating that they were travellers, going away upon a journey, asked for "half a mutchkin” in a AND SAYINGS. 359 bottle. We are not sure if they put the name "whisky" to it or not, but they said "Give us the best." Away trudged the travellers, chuckling at their success. Had the publican been seen inside his domicile he would have been observed chuck- ling also. By-and-by another knock comes to the door, and our two travellers again make their appearance, but this time they are accompanied by a police-officer, who directly accused him (the publican) of having sold whisky to the travellers on Sunday morning. The bottle at this time had not been opened, and the publican denied the charge. It was therefore found necessary to draw the cork, when, lo and behold! the contents were found to be "pure Monikie." Down fell the under- jaws of the travellers, and a demand was made for the restitution of the shilling, which the wily publi- can refused to give, upon the plea that he had supplied them with "half a mutchkin of the best," according to order. THE CORRECT TIP.-Swell: "Ah, I dessay you're not a G. T.; eh, Boatman?" Boatman: "Eh, sir?" Swell: "A Good Templar, I mean." Boat- man: "That I am, sir,-when I can't get nothink to drink." Swell: "And when you can ?" Boatman: "I'm still a G. T., sir. (With a sly wink.) Good Tippler then, sir.” THE DANDY AND THE WAITER.-At a West- end eating-house the other evening a young and 360 TAVERN ANECDOTES fully moustached dandy was seated at the table at rather a late hour, when the waiter, according to custom, when the work of the day was over, came in and took a seat directly opposite. The dandy tipped back his chair, and gazing at the waiter exclaimed, "Fellah, do the servants mix with the gentlemen in this house?" "No, sir," was the reply. "Are you not the waiter?" "Yes, sir." "Well, a waiter is as much a servant as the scullery- maid." "True," replied the waiter, "but I did not enter the room until I looked in and saw there was not a gentleman at the table!" Here the con- versation ended. Moustache was done for. THE DRUNKARD'S LIBERTY.-Drink promised me liberty, and I got it. I had the liberty to see my toes poke out of my boots-the water had the liberty to go in at the toes and out at my heels- my knees had the liberty to come out of my pants -my elbows had liberty to come out of my coat- and I had the liberty to lift the crown of my hat and scratch my head without taking my hat off. THE DRUNKARD'S LOOKING GLASS. What will a drunkard do for ale? Shall I unfold my dreadful tale? What will a drunkard do for ale? It will make a sober man turn pale ; Yes, I'll unfold it if I sell his hat and pawn his can, To benefit a working man. coat, To satisfy his greedy throat. AND SAYINGS. 361 Sell his stockings and his shirt, Strut about in rags and dirt; Sell his shoes from off his feet, And barefoot go about the street. What will he do to gain his end? He will deceive his dearest friend; His crafty plans he will de- vise, And tell the most atrocious lies. What will a drunkard do for ale? Dark and more dismal grows my tale ; Sell his bedstead and his bed, Not leave a place to lay his head. Sell his blankets and his sheets, Lie in barns, or walk the streets; His thirsty soul will cry for more, He's starved and miserably poor. He'll beg for halfpence where he can, And say he is a dying man! But if three halfpence he has got, He'll go and find another sot, As mean and shabby as him- self, A dirty, ragged, drunken elf! alehouse corner In some seated, Waiting, longing, treated. to be They freely enter into chat, If they can but catch a flat; With every one they will be friends, If they can but gain their ends. Then with his bosom full of strife, Each man goes home to beat his wife; The children beat and sent to bed, Because the wretches have no bread. No meat, no butter have they got, Such is the dwelling of a sot The wife in tears, and ragged too, Say, drunkard! is my state- ment true? Farewell landlords, farewell jerries, Farewell brandy, port, and sherries, 362 TAVERN ANECDOTES Farewell horrors and blue devils, Farewell dens of midnight revels. Farewell fires that have no coals on, Farewell shoes that have no soles on. Farewell children with wry faces, Farewell to the pop-shop races. Farewell wash, and all wash vendors, Farewell duns, and all dun senders! Farewell landlords and your spouses, Farewell spiders and your houses. Farewell to your noise and rabble, Farewell to your foolish gabble. Farewell pockets that are empty, Farewell landlords! you've had plenty. THE FIRST AND BEST BOTTLE.-Who does not recollect a first bottle of wine, unequalled by its successors? We remember ordering a bottle of Grave at the Tête-de-Boeuf at Abbeville, which was marked in the carte at three francs. It came people may talk of Rudesheim, Burgundy, and Hermitage, and all the wines that ever the Rhone or the Rhine produced, but never was there wine like that bottle of Grave. We drank it slowly, and lingered over the last glass as if we had a presenti- ment we should never meet with its like again. When it was done, quite done, we ordered another bottle. But no-it was not the same wine. sent it away, and in vain-and another—there was no more of it to be had. We AND SAYINGS. 363 THE GREATEST COMMON MEASURE.-A quart pot. THE LION AND THE MONKEY.-An inn in one of our provincial towns, the sign of which was the Red Lion, was kept by a landlord who was a dandy. A traveller on leaving the house wrote the following lines on the wall of the room in which he had breakfasted- "When a man to a town for a show brings a lion, 'Tis usual a monkey the signpost to tie on; But here the reverse of this plan may be seen, For the lion's without, and the monkey's within.” THE LIONS.-A lawyer's clerk, in the chief town of Lancashire, being requested the other day by his employer to show a gentleman the "lions," took him to all the public-houses designated by the titles of the Red Lion, the Black Lion, the White Lion, &c.; and the gentleman, enjoying the joke, "stood Sam" at each place, the result being that the clerk returned to the office in a state of inebria- tion. The "lions" had proved too much for him. THE MISERIES OF A BACHELOR.—“What have you got for dinner, waiter?" "A nice chop and steak, sir." "Well, bring me a chop and a steak. Yesterday I had a steak and a chop. Anything for a change." THE NEW LAW.-Among the drunk and in- capable cases at Haddington Police-court lately 364 TAVERN ANECDOTES was one Milesian labourer, who seemed to have some difficulty in comprehending the justice of the new law. He admitted he had been drunk, but urged that he had molested nobody. The follow- ing colloquy then ensued-"You are not charged with doing anything, but merely with being so drunk as to be unable to take care of yourself." "But I've been drunk often, and was never fined for it, yer Honour." "Ay, but this is a new law.” "A new law, is it? Then a precious bad law it is. And sure what's the use of giving publicans licence if you wont let them sell drink?" "The law does not prevent their selling drink; it only guards against your taking too much." "And what do you call too much? Is three bottles of ale too much for a grown man ?" "It seems to have laid you on your back, anyhow." "And sure," said the Irishman, with a knowing nod to his companions amongst the audience, "I would may be no have been on my back had your streets been better.” THEODORE HOOK once said to a man at whose table a publisher got very drunk, "Why, you appear to have emptied your wine cellar into our bookseller." THE LAST OF THE OLD COACHING INNS.-The two coaching inns till now left unscathed by the onward progress of railways are at length doomed- viz., the George and Blue Boar, High Holborn, AND SAYINGS. 365 and the Saracen's Head, Skinner Street, Snow Hill. The first of these, with its extensive range of stabling in the rear, is nearly levelled with the ground. The site of the Saracen's Head will be required for the improvements in that locality con- sequent on the contemplated bridge over the valley of the Fleet, and the approaches to the New Dead Meat and Poultry Market.-The Times, November, 1863. [The Saracen's Head has since been rebuilt on ground a little more to the east, the New Meat Market opened in 1868, and the Holborn Viaduct in 1869.] THE OTHER DAY a teetotal lecturer, in giving an oration on the great panacea of cold water, ex- claimed, “My friends, it is a grand mistake to call intoxicating drinks strong drinks. It can be proved that plain cold water is stronger, much stronger, than ale." An old fellow sitting by thereupon took up his hat and walked out, saying, "Beer is strong enough for me, so I'll go and get a pint.” THE SERJEANT-AT-LAW AND THE LANDLADY. -Serjeant Onslow was one day changing horses at the White Hart at Reigate, the landlady of which kept calling him captain. "What are you captain- ing my master for ?" inquired the servant when he got her away; "don't you know 'tis Serjeant *The site now occupied by the Inns of Court Hotel 366 TAVERN ANECDOTES Onslow ?" "Yes, yes," answered the landlady, with a knowing look, "I know he's only a sergeant, but they like to be called captains." THE "STOUT" HOUSE. Mrs. Partington's maiden sister, Miss Prudence Quicksight, passing down Oxford Street the other day, read in large letters over the door of a tavern, “Original Stout House." Seizing Ike (who accompanied her) by the arm, she exclaimed, "Laws a mercy! what is the world coming to? Call that a stout house indeed? Why, it ain't a morsel bigger than our cottage at home." Thus having given vent to her indignation, she drew her veil closer and walked on. The Value oF CITY TAVERNS.-On Monday [May 21, 1864], at Garraway's Sale Rooms, Change Alley, Mr. Cronin offered to public competition the leasehold property known as the Rising Sun, Shoemaker's Row, Doctors' Commons, with good- will; held for the unexpired term of thirty-two years, at a rent of 557. per annum. The furniture, fixtures, &c., at valuation. Sold at 2790%. On Thursday, Messrs. Warlters and Lovejoy offered to public competition, at the same place, the lease and goodwill of the Swan's Nest Tavern, Great Swan Alley, Moorgate Street; held for an un- expired term of eleven and a half years, at 100l. per annum. The premises adjoin the wool sale AND SAYINGS. 367 rooms; the hours of business those of City business, and no Sunday work. Sold at 1700/. THE VERY BEST TIPPLE.-By Old Thirsty. Oh, well I love the pewter With ale of Allsopp in it! My thirst becomes acuter— I quaff it in a minute. But now I mean to mention A liquid that surpasses Great Allsopp's chief invention- And that's the nectar of the lasses. Champagne that's wont to sparkle Is very pretty tipple, And port that's patriarchal Will jollify a cripple ; But far the rarest liquor To cream into your glasses, And make your blood run quicker, Is the kisses of the lasses. THE WHOLE HOG OR NONE.-A man with a modest appetite dined at an hotel; after eating the whole of a sucking pig, he was asked if he would have some pudding. He said he didn't care much about pudding, but if they had another little hog he would be thankful for it. 65 'THIS IS CAPITAL ALE-see how long it keeps its 368 TAVERN ANECDOTES head." yours!" "C 'Ay, but consider how soon it takes away THREE ANGELS.- Even in the most remote periods of history three was considered a mystic number, and regarded with reverence. Pythagoras calls three the perfect number, expressive of "begin- ning, middle, and end," wherefore he makes it a symbol of deity. Jove is represented with three- forked lightning; Neptune with a trident, and Pluto with a three-headed dog. The Fates are three, the Furies three, the Graces three, the Muses three times three; the gallows were called the three trees, from their ancient triangular form; the three estates of the realm-the nobility, the clergy, and the commonalty, &c.; and in heraldry and signboardry the favourite combination is three. The Three Angels may have been intended for the three angels that appeared to Abraham; as a sign they were very generally used by linen drapers. THREE CROWNS.-The Three Crowns imply the diadems of the three kingdoms, England, Scotland, and Ireland. Queen Caroline, wife of King George the Second, in most respects endeared to the people of England, having conceived the idea of excluding the public from St. James's Park and converting it into a noble garden for the palace, consulted Sir Robert Walpole as to its probable AND SAYINGS. 369 cost; his ever-to-be-remembered reply was-"Only Three Crowns." When a tavern uses the Three Crowns for its sign it is usual to call it THE FIFTEEN SHILLINGS. THREE COMPASSES.—This sign is a particularly favourite one in all parts of the kingdom, which may be accounted for from the circumstance that three compasses are a charge in the arms of the Carpenters' Company, while two are used in the arms of the Joiners' Company, and one in the Masons or Freemasons' Company. Frequently the sign of the Compasses contains between the legs the following good advice- "Keep within compass, And then you'll be sure To avoid many troubles That others endure." THREE CRANES IN THE VINTRY.-" So called," says Stowe, "not only of the cranes at a tavern door, but rather of three strong cranes of timber placed on the Vintry Wharf by the Thames side to crane up wines there. The lane was of old time, in 1385, called the 'Painted Tavern Lane,' of the tavern being painted." This was one of Ben Jonson's taverns, and he makes mention of it in The Devil is an Ass- "Nay, boy, I will bring thee to the bawds and the roysters. At Billingsgate, feasting with claret-wine and oysters ; B B 370 TAVERN ANECDOTES G From hence shoot the Bridge, child, to the Cranes in the Vintry, And see there the gimlets how they make their entry.” Strype describes the place as situate in "New Queen Street, commonly called the Three Cranes in the Vintry, a good open street, especially that part next Cheapside, which is the best built and inhabited. At the lowest end of the street next the Thames is a pair of stairs, the usual place for the Lord Mayor and aldermen to take water at, to go to Westmin- ster Hall, for the new Lord Mayor to be sworn before the Barons of the Exchequer. This place, with the Three Cranes, is now of some account for the costermongers, where they have their ware- houses for their fruit." The host of the Bonny Black Bear, in Scott's "Kenilworth," makes con- stant mention of the Three Cranes in the Vintry. Harman, in his "A Caveat or Warning for Com- mon Cursetors, vulgarly called Vagabonds," 1573, makes mention of the Three Cranes in the Vintry. Pepys, in his Diary, says: "We went over to the Three Cranes Taverne, and, though the best room of the house, in such a narrow dog-hole we were crammed, and I believe we were near 40, that it made me loathe my company and victuals, and a very poor dinner it was too.” THREE CUPS.-A favourite London sign. Hatton enumerates three-on the east side of St. John's Street, near Hick's Hall; on the west side of Bread Street, near the middle; on the east side AND SAYINGS. 371 of Goswell Street, near Aldersgate Street. A fourth is mentioned by Beaumont and Fletcher— "You know our meeting, At the Three Cups in St. Giles's." And a fifth, in Holborn, by Winstanley, in his "Lives of the English Poets," 1687, p. 208, who has recorded many interesting traits of his contem- poraries, and makes especial mention of his being with Richard Head, one of the authors of the "English Rogue," on the coming forth of the first part of that work. "I with him, drinking a glass of Rhenish at the Three Cups Taverne in Holborn, made these verses upon it." The commendatory verses written on that occasion are printed in his "Lives of the Poets." THREE GOATSHEADS, as a public-house, was originally the arms of the Cordwainers or Shoe- makers' Company, which are azure, a chevron, the three goats' heads two and one. The commonalty, reading by the eye and not from an heraldic point of view, perpetuated the sign, not as it was originally intended to be-viz., the Cord- wainers or Shoemakers' Arms-but as the Three Goatsheads. THREE HORSESHOES.-The single shoe may be met with in many combinations, arising from the old belief in its lucky influences. The Three Horseshoes are the arms of the Farriers' Company, and frequently to be met with as a public-house BB 2 372 TAVERN ANECDOTES sign. According to Speed: "The familie of the Ferrers were first seated in Rutlandshire, as besides the credit of writers, the horseshoe, whose badge it was, doth witnesse, where in the castle, and now the shire-hall, right over the seat of the judge, a horseshoe of iron curiously wrought, con- taining five foote and a halfe in length, and the bredth thereto proportionably, is fixed." ("Theatre of Great Britaine," edit. 1627, p. 59.) The heralds state that Henry de Ferrariis, who came to England with William the Norman in the capacity of chief farrier, is commemorated in the family of Ferrers, bearing arms, argent, six horse- shoes, sable, three, two and one. THREE LOGGERHEADS is an ancient sign, to which constant allusions are made in the old writers, and, stale as the joke may be, has not yet lost its charms for the inhabitants of many of our provincial towns. One at Tonbridge, or Tun- bridge, a market town of the county of Kent, represents two silly-looking faces, with the inscrip- tion- "WE THREE LOGGERIIEADS BE- " the unsuspecting spectator being, of course, the third one. So the clown, in Shakspeare's Twelfth Night, asks, "How now, my hearts; did you never see the picture of we three?" There is a joke in "Pasquil's Jests mixed with Mother AND SAYINGS. 373 Bunch's Merriments," 1604, entitled "A Tale of a Scrivener at London and a Countryman :" "It fell out upon a Satterday, being market day, that a Countrie fellow of the better sort of husbandrie, came to London to lay out a little money upon some necessary trinkets: and hauing dispatched his businesse, after hee had pretily refreshed his spirits with a pot of the best that the Alehouse could afford him, made homewards very merily; but, by the way, casting his eye, by chance, upon a kind of Writers, that would haue bin a Scriveners shop, and seeing the master of the poore house, or the poore master of the house, sitting alone in a rugge gowne, wrapping in his armes, to auoyd the bitternesse of the weather, minding to make himselfe a little sport, fell thus to salute the poore Pen-man: I pray you, master, what might you sel in your shop, that you haue so many ding- dongs hang at your doore! Why, my friend, quoth the Obligation-maker, I sell nothing but Logger- heads. By my fay, master, quoth the Country man, you haue made a faire market with them, for you haue left but one in your shop, that I see and so laughing, went away, leauine much good sport to them that heard him." Decker, in his "The Gvls' Horne-booke," 1609, at chapter vi., "How a Gallant should behave himself in a Playhouse," tells "How the first men by sitting on the stage, may qualify themself to be the first and principal man in election to begin the number of 'We Three."" 374 TAVERN ANECDOTES Another way of expressing the same thing is often to be found at village alehouses, and is termed, "HERE'S A PAIR OF US," and represented by a huge ass's head-Taylor, the Water Poet, in his "Farewell to the Tower Bottles," 1622, applies the phrase to himself- "Plain home-spun stuff shall now proceed from me, Much like unto the picture of we three." And in a marginal note he has "The picture of two fools, and the third looking on, I do, fitly com- pare with the two Black Bottles and myself." Again, in a few lines further on he has- 66 My bottles and myself did oft agree, Full to the top all merry came we three." THREE MORRIS-DANCERS.-Once a very com- mon sign, but now, like the custom that gave rise to it, almost extinct. Morris-dance, i.e., Moorish dance-called also Morisco, q. v. These dances were used on festival occasions, and particularly on May- day, at which time they are not even now entirely dis- used in some parts of England. "As fit as ten groats for the hand of an attorney, as . or as Morris for May-day." (All's Well, ii. 2.) It appears that a certain number of personages were usually represented in the May-day morris- dance, who have been thus enumerated 1. The Bavian, or fool. 2. Maid Marian, or the Queen of May, the celebrated mistress of Robin Hood. 3. The Friar Tuck, chaplain to the same personage. 1 AND SAYINGS. 375 4. Her gentleman-usher, or paramour. 5. The hobby-horse. 6. The clown. 7. A gentleman. 8. The May-pole. 9. Tom Piper. 10, 11. Foreigners -perhaps Moriscos. 12. The domestic fool or jester. Stowe speaks of each sheriff having his morris- dance, in the "Midsummer Watches in London,” p. 76. "How like an everlasting morris-dance it looks, Nothing but hobby-horse and Maid Marian." MASS., Very Woman, iii. 2. Maid Marian was very frequently personated by a man. In Randolph's Amyntes, act v., the stage direction is " Jocastus with a morris, himselfe Maid- Marrion." THREE NUNS.-The Three Nuns Inn, No. 10, Aldgate High Street, is mentioned by De Foe in his "Plague Year," and is at this time famous for its punch. THREE PIGEONS were very common. There still exists a very ancient inn of this name at Brent- ford, which is frequently mentioned by the early dramatists, and appears at one time to have been the resort of low people, sharpers, &c. It is re- markable as having had for its landlord the cele- brated John Lowin, a contemporary of Shak- speare and the original Falstaff, then grown old, and like many of his brethren very poor. "Thou'rt admirably suited for the Three Pigeons at Brentford ; I'll swear I knew thee not."-The Roaring Girl. 376 TAVERN ANECDOTES There also George Peele played off one of his merrie conceited jests, as they are called, which con- sisted in swindling the landlord of the best part of his reckoning, a horse and a mare, a gown, and a lute. In Halliwell's "Local Illustrations" to the Merry Wives of Windsor, in his Folio Shakspeare, he says of the Three Pigeons at Brentford-"It is a house of interest, as being in all likelihood one of the few haunts of Shakspeare now remaining; as being in- deed the sole Elizabethan tavern existing in Eng- land which, in the absence of direct evidence, may fairly be presumed to have been occasionally visited by him." THREE SHEETS IN THE WIND.— Unsteady from over-drinking, as a ship when its sheets are in the wind. The sail of a ship is fastened at one of the bottom corners by a rope called a "tack;" the other corner is left more or less free as the rope called a "sheet" is disposed; if quite free the sheet is said to be "in the wind," and the sail flaps and flutters without restraint. If all the three sails were so loosened the ship would "reel and stagger like a drunken man." " "THREE AND SIXPENCE PER GAL. !" exclaimed Mrs. Partington, on looking over the Price Current. Why, bless me, what is the world coming to, when the gals are valued at only three and six- pence!" The old lady pulled off her spectacles, AND SAYINGS. 377 threw down the paper, and went into a brown study on the want of a proper appreciation of the true value of the feminine gender. THREE TOBACCO ROLLS.-Pendant black rolls, representing coils of tobacco, partially gilded, and at other times fantastically painted, still constitute the exterior decoration of tobacconists' shops. Taylor, the Water Poet, who evinces a hatred of tobacco, describes the vendor as— "The smoakie black lung-puff'd tobacconist, Whose joy doth in tobacco sole consist." TIPPLING in New York is called "holding com- munication with disembottled spirits." TO A TOPER IN LOVE. 'Tween women and wine, sir, Man's lot is to smart ; For wine makes his head ache, And woman his heart. TOAST.-A name given to which guests are invited to drink in compliment. The name at one time was that of a lady. The word is taken from the toast which used at one time to be put into the tankard, and which still floats in the loving cup, and also the cups called copus, bishop, and cardinal at the Universities. Hence the lady named was the toast or savour of the wine-that which. 378 TAVERN ANECDOTES gave the draught piquancy and merit. The story goes that a certain beau, in the reign of Charles II., being at Bath, pledged a noted beauty in a glass of water taken from her bath, whereupon another roysterer cried out he would have nothing to do with the liquor, but would have the toast (ie., the lady herself).—Rambler, No. 24. Toast at a COUNTRY CLUB.-The clerk at a country club, held in the pretty little and sweet auburn-like village of Patcham, near Brighton, who was a schoolmaster named Still, being called on to give a toast, produced the following-" Addition to the friends of Old England, Subtraction to her wants, Multiplication of her blessings, Division among her foes, and Reduction of her debts, and to sum up, I'll be your Tutor and a private Still." TOAST OF A SCOTCH PEER.-Lord K—, dining at Provost S's, and being the only peer present, one of the company gave a toast, "The Duke of Buccleuch." So the peerage went round till it came to Lord K- who said he would give them a peer which, although not toasted, was of more use than the whole. His lordship gave "the Pier of Leith." TOBACCO.-Some curious statistics as to the consumption of tobacco are given in the recently- issued report of the Inland Revenue Commissioners. AND SAYINGS. 379 In 1841 the quantity cleared for consumption was, in the United Kingdom, 23,096,281 lbs., being I 133 ozs. per head of the population; in 1851 the quantity was 27,734,786 lbs., or 1 lb. oz. per head; in 1861 the quantity was 35,413,846 lbs., or I lb. 3 ozs. per head; in 1871 the consumption was 42,656,658 lbs., or 1 lb. 5 ozs.; and in 1873 the consumption had increased to 46,315,070 lbs. in the United Kingdom, or at the rate of 1 lb. 63 ozs. per head. The consumption, it is under- stood, is still increasing. TOLL! TOLL!-A farmer near Bathgate, lately wending his way home the worse for "beer,” came to the toll-bar and roared out in a stentorian voice, "Toll! toll! open the toll, and let me and my pony Pooley through." With great haste and in déshabille appeared the guidwife of the toll. "Whaur's yer horse?" she exclaimed. This re- called the farmer's scattered senses. Oh, my pony! I forgot my pony," said he; "he's at hame." (( TODDY.-A favourite Scotch beverage com- pounded of spirits, hot water, and sugar. The word is a corruption of taudi, the Indian name for the saccharine juice of palm spathes. The San- skrit is toldi or taldi, from tal (palm-juice). TOм bought a gallon of gin to take home, and 380 TAVERN ANECDOTES by way of a label wrote his name upon a card, which happened to be the seven of clubs, and tied it to the handle. A friend, coming along and observing the jar, quietly remarked, "That's an awful careless way to leave that liquor !" "Why?" said Tom. "Because somebody might come along with the eight of clubs and take it." TOPER'S MOTTO.-" Summer is the time for swallows." TOPHAM, THE STRONG MAN of Islington.- In Upper Street, Islington, was formerly a public- house with the sign of the Duke's Head, at the south-east corner of Gadd's Row (now St. Alban's Place), which was remarkable, towards the middle of the last century, on account of its landlord, Thomas Topham, "the strong man of Islington." He was brought up to the trade of a carpenter, but abandoned it soon after the term of his apprentice- ship had expired; and about the age of twenty- four became the host of the Red Lion, near the old Hospital of St. Luke, in which house he failed. When he had attained his full growth his stature was about five feet ten inches, and he soon began to give proof of his superior strength and muscular power. The first public exhibition of his extra- ordinary strength was that of pulling against a horse, lying upon his back, and placing his feet against the dwarf wall that divided Upper and Lower Moorfields. He afterwards pulled against AND SAYINGS. 381 two horses, but his legs being placed horizontally instead of rising parallel to the traces of the horses, he was jerked from his position; it was neverthe- less the opinion of Dr. Desaguliers, the eminent mechanic and experimental philosopher, that had Topham been in a proper position, he might have kept his situation against the pulling of four horses without inconvenience. The following are among the feats which Dr. Desaguliers says he himself saw Topham perform :-By the strength of his fingers he rolled up a very strong and large pewter dish. Among the curiosities of the British Museum, some years ago, was a pewter dish, marked near the edge April 3, 1737, Thomas Topham, of London, car- penter, rolled up this dish (made of the hardest pewter), by the strength of his hands, in the pre- sence of Dr. John Desaguliers, &c." He broke seven or eight pieces of a tobacco-pipe by the force of his middle finger, having laid them on his first and third fingers. Having thrust the bowl of a strong tobacco-pipe under his garter, his legs being bent, he broke it to pieces by the tendons of his hams, without altering the position of his legs. Another bowl of this kind he broke between his first and second finger, by pressing them together sideways. He took an iron kitchen poker, about a yard long and three inches round, and bent it nearly to a right angle, by striking upon his bare left arm, between the elbow and the wrist. Hold- ing the ends of a poker of like size in his hands, 382 TAVERN ANECDOTES and the middle of it against the back of his neck, he brought both extremities of it together before him ; and, what was yet more difficult, pulled it almost straight again. He broke a rope of two inches in circumference; though, from his awkward manner, he was obliged to exert four times more strength than was necessary. He lifted a rolling stone of eight hundred pounds' weight with his hands only, standing in a frame above it, and taking hold of a chain fastened thereto. It is probable that Top- ham kept the Duke's Head at the time he exhibited the exploit of lifting three hogsheads of water, weighing one thousand eight hundred and thirty- one pounds, in Coldbath Fields, May 28, 1741, in commemoration of the taking of Porto Bello by Admiral Vernon; and which he performed in the presence of the Admiral and thousands of specta- tors. After Topham had left Islington, and taken another public-house, situated in Hog Lane, Shore- ditch, the infidelity of his wife had such an effect upon him, that in a fit of frenzy, after beating her most unmercifully and stabbing her in the breast, he inflicted several wounds upon himself; and, having lingered several days, died in the flower of his age, August 10, 1749.. TO PREVENT BEER FROM BEING TURNED BY THUNDER.-Having ascertained that it is perfectly good, draw off entirely in pint pots. Then, having collected an equal number of railway navigators, AND SAYINGS. 383 distribute accordingly. This will answer in the hottest summer. TRY MY DINNERS.-An eating-house keeper, who kept a "Rest-your-Aunt," as the French call a cookshop, and who prided himself on his ability to get up the best dinners to be had anywhere, wishing to give the public the full benefit of his knowledge, perpetrated the following “sign:" "Try my dinners-they can't be beat." In an evil hour, however, a wicked wag came along and dex- terously painted over the initial letter of the last word. The announcement then was-"Try my dinners-they can't be eat." TUMBLE-DOWN DICK.-Anything that will not stand firmly. Dick is Richard the Protector's son, who was but a tottering wall at best. Tumble- down Dick was often put up as a public- house sign, and as such it was set up in de- rision of Richard Cromwell. The allusion to his fall from power, or "tumble down," is a fine moral on the instability of greatness and the consequences of ambition. At Hedenham, on the road between Norwich and Bungay, there is a sign called Tumble- down Dick, representing on one side Diogenes, on the other a drunken man, with the following distich- "Now Diogenes is dead and laid in his tomb, Tumble-down Dick is come in his room." 384 TAVERN ANECDOTES Some years ago there was a popular circus clown named Tom Swan, and he opened a beerhouse in Edward Street, Brighton, where he displayed a large water-coloured drawing, done by a local artist, known best to name and fame as Jack Watkins, wherein "Old Tom" was represented in his clown's dress as "Tumble-down Tom," and was depicted as having fallen through a skylight and landed amongst all manner of strange things, as pots, pans, kettles, and a large giblet-pie, labelled “ All legs and wings," to which was added as follows- "Help! help! or I am gone, Then it will be all U P with- Yours very Truly, old TOM SWAN." Poor Tom Swan, in common with most other circus clowns, paid a severe penalty for wishing to be thought one of the greatest fools in England, by reason of an early death. I knew him well*—“ A fellow of 'infinite jest, of most excellent fancy." Alas, poor Tom, "Where be your gibes now? your gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment, that were wont to set the table on a roar?" Alas, poor Tom; "I am a fool to weep "—but still a tear to thy memory. Requiescat in pace! Α fool's bolt is soon shot," and "Poor Tom's a-cold," and gone to "the undiscover'd country, from whose bourn no traveller returns." But- "A merrier man, Within the limits of becoming mirth, I never spent an hour's talk withal.” * The Editor. "A AND SAYINGS. 385 While writing and thinking of the late Tom Swan we are brought to the recollection of a somewhat novel piece of trade rivalry. Swan, as we have before stated, opened a beerhouse in Edward Street, Brighton, and it happened that there was already a coffee-house next door but one to the premises he had selected to open his house as— THE CLOWN. Swan, it must be borne in mind, wanted particu- larly to commence business in or about Edward Street, he being very popular in that neighbour- hood by reason of his having performed so long and so often at Leonard Burton's Circus and Music Hall, then situate at the rear of the Globe Inn in that street. So finding no more eligible place, he opened his house next door but one to the coffee-house aforesaid. A local sign-writer painted a life-sized portrait of Tom in character, with the orthodox string of sausages, a goose, and, as a matter of course, a huge red-hot poker, and the usual CC 386 TAVERN ANECDOTES “Here we are again” on one side of the signboard, while on the other was written, in gorgeous colours and in the most flourishing of letters, "HERE LIVES THE GREATEST FOOL IN ALL ENGLAND." When the sign was finished it was placed out some distance from the front of the house by means of iron work,* and thus fixed it completely obscured the signboard of his neighbour, which was THE TEMPERANCE HALL, and who in high dudgeon immediately sent for a smith and had his sign lowered some few feet, which brought it once more to view. Whereupon Tom immediately caused his Clown to be lowered, which again obscured the sign of his neighbour, who again and again kept on heightening or lowering in opposition to the other as circumstances arose. But it was soon found out that the moving and re- fixing the signboards up or down was somewhat costly; the smith's little account of, "To fixing and repairing, material and time of two men and a boy," took a great deal of the gilt off the ginger- bread. Yet Tom was not to be beaten easily, and he had the multitude with him, and at last hit upon a plan that was at once effective and novel, for he had his sign so arranged with pulleys and a line run into his bar, by which you could lower or heighten his board at will, thus his rival was put hors Which remains there to this day, and with the board serves for a shoemaker's sign.--En. AND SAYINGS. 387 de combat. The affair from beginning to the end had caused an angry feeling and an ill-natured rivalry, and made more noise than profit, and each was as glad as the other to cease hostilities. Soon after this a brewer's beerhouse in Church Street, called the Black Horse, came to be in the market, and it was taken by Tom Swan. The house was within a stone's throw of the theatre, and as he was engaged to be the clown in the forthcoming Christmas pantomime,* the change from Edward Street to Church Street was con- sidered a desirable one. But Tom Swan, in common with most circus clowns, made a very indifferent stage clown. The pantomimė season over, and the novelty of a beerhouse-keeper clown wore itself out, and Tom, with a somewhat shat- tered constitution, had once more to take to circus work. Although we could tell twenty, yet one more tale about Tom Swan must suffice. In 1860 Newsome's circus was performing at Brighton, with Tom Swan as first clown, and it so happened that at the time George Clarke, the circus proprietor, had got into financial difficulties, and was about to take the Benefit of the Act and "go through the hoop," and by that reason was then "boxed up” on the debtors' side of Lewes gaol, or, as it is some- times called, the One Bell Tavern, or Saunders' *This was the season 1852-3. Mr. Henry Farren the lessee. The pantomime entitled "Red Rufus." CC 2 388 TAVERN ANECDOTES $ Hotel, after the name of the then governor. It was determined on one fine day that a party should be made up and visit the good old-fashioned county borough and market town of Lewes, distant some eight miles from Brighton by road or rail, for the pur- pose of a half-day's outing, and to make a visit of condolence to George Clarke. A Tuesday was chosen, that being market day. The party con- sisted of young Charley Ducrow, Tom Swan, Mr. William Murrell, the well-known and extensive cowkeeper and dairyman of Russell Street, Brighton, a great friend of Swan's and of circus folks in general; Charley Philips, the theatrical printer, and attorney-general in all matters apper- taining to circuses and the people therewith connected; old Bill Snelling, of the Jolly Fisher- man Inn; old Tom Picket, ex-stage-coachman, and landlord of the Coach and Horses, North Street; Mr. Charles Hindley, the-the-but "on their own merits modest men are dumb;" old Bill Pope, of the Wheatsheaf Inn, Bond Street, Brighton, a well- known theatrical house, and in those days an "in- stitution;" one of the Newsomes, and some three or four more of the company. To have a long day, it was arranged that the party thus constituted should go by the market train, 7.45, and which arrived at Lewes not above a quarter of an hour behind its time. Prodigious!" In the market, which is held in the High Street, Tom Swan talked of buying up all the stock to present to the inhabi- (( AND SAYINGS. 389 tants of Timbuctoo, whom he stated were a precious hungry lot, and that on one occasion- "He had sent a missionary to Timbuctoo, But they eat him up and his hymn-book too." He priced several beasts, and not a few pens of Southdown sheep, but as the stock salesman would not let him have some three or four pounds of rumpsteak or a leg or a shoulder of mutton cut from the carcass by way of sample, he declined to purchase. Tom's observations completely queered" some of the farmers, particularly one, of whom he wanted to buy the tail of his calf wholesale. "What am I to do with the other part ?" asked the countryman. "Why, retail it by next market day, to be sure," said Tom, amidst a general laugh. "Ha! ha! ha!" beefed out several Brighton butchers' lads. "Why, that's the circus clown, old Tom Swan, look at him. Ha! ha! ha!" Good-humour and friendly recognitions prevailed, and the circus element shed innumerable tears-by wetting both eyes. At length the party arrived at Saunders' Hotel, and were conducted to George Clarke's room, No. 10, and afterwards all joined in the general room. What a jolly place a debtors' gaol was under the old Insolvent Debtors Act! Everything that money could buy might be had- rum, gin, or brandy-on the sly; and beer, ale, or tobacco ad libitum. Our party were very merry. Tom Swan cheered up the debtors with his flashes of merriment, and cracked a lot of old "wheezes," and $90 TAVERN ANECDOTES gave a portion of his celebrated election speech, in which he strongly advocated the abolition of im- prisonment for debt, which was received with uproarious applause. At length, the time having arrived when it was necessary for the clique to make a move to be in time for the market dinner at the Crown Inn, all departed, leaving George Clarke and his chums to themselves. "Here's a general gaol delivery," whispered one of the party to the turnkey, as they were leaving the One Bell Tavern, so called from there being a large bell hung over the entrance and tolled on the occasion of criminal executions. At dinner, Swan was wont to set the table in a roar," and gave them Old Drowley's locally well-known toast of " Peace and Animosity all over the World." The dinner over, our party adjourned to another room for pipes and grog. In a short time Tom was missed. Where the devil was old Tom Swan? where had he got to? He, it was now remembered, had not joined in the smoking. Where could he be? One of the party, who was always as full of popular quotations as an egg is said to be of meat, said half-aside- (( "And when a lady's in the case, You know all other things give place." This, with certain nudges and winks, was held for the time to be a satisfactory solution, and it was mutually agreed that Tom would turn up in proper time, and all continued to sip and smoke, and AND SAYINGS. 391 smoke and sip, until one drew a dial from his poke, and looking on it with lack-lustre eye, said, very wisely, "It's four o'clock, and where the devil's Tom Swan?" Where, and O where could he have gone? Things were now beginning to look serious. It was near four o'clock, they were eight miles from Brighton; the circus would open at seven. What was to be done? The landlord was carpeted and interrogated, but he knew nothing of Tom's whereabouts; and when informed of the seriousness of the case, and of Tom having to clown to the first act of young Ducrow's, he saw how very awkward matters stood, and half jokingly and half seriously suggested that Wood, the town crier, should be sent for, and “ cry" for Tom. The suggestion was immediately acted upon. Wood was sent for, and received his in- structions, but it was such a novel case that he somewhat hesitated in respect to the genuineness of the "cry," for he knew most of the parties as- sembled, and that they were inclined to joking; and he had never before "cried" for a clown in all his experience. So he demanded his fee first, which was half-a-crown, but he was made to accept two shillings and a pot of ale to be drunk by the com- pany. Following were the instructions written out: "Lost, stolen, or strayed away, from Newsome's Royal Circus, a TALKING SWAN, large as life, and twice as natural! The greatest fool in England, and answers to the name of Tom. 392 TAVERN ANECDOTES "" (C Whosoever has found the same, and will bring him back to the Crown Inn, shall receive five shillings reward." Wood "cried" for Tom at the corner of every street in the town, and the party sat waiting the result. Presently Tom Swan was seen by two Brighton butchers, who had heard of the reward, to be leisurely sauntering along at the top of the town, near to the Black Horse Inn. "Hullo! Tom Swan! We want you," said one of the butchers. "Want me," said Tom, "what for?" "Why, there's a reward out for you." A reward?" said Swan. "Yes, five bob; heard old Wood crying it out just now, so you must go; come along with us. "Nonsense," said Tom; "here, come in and have a pot of beer." 'Well, we don't mind having a drop of beer, but you'll have to come along with us; we mean to have the five bob." Matters were further explained to Tom as to the town crier, and he endeavoured to explain to the butchers that it was a joke of his pals who were staying at the Crown Inn, whither he was just going when they dropped in with him. Another pot of beer was ordered in and paid for by Tom, and he wanted to get rid of the butchers. But no, they were not going to be done out of the five bob; he was cried for and they had found him, and if they didn't find him there was plenty of people in Lewes from Brighton to-day who would be sure to collar him; they had got him and meant to stick to him. So Tom was marched off between the two butchers AND SAYINGS. 393 On nearing the Crown Inn it got noised about that Tom, the Talking Swan, was caught, and a message to that effect soon arrived at the rendezvous of the party. So hearing and feeling satisfied that Tom was all right, and would be sure to turn up in Brighton in time, they determined to save the five shillings they had offered as a reward, and to that end they all left by the back way and got off to the station, which is within a five minutes' walk from the Crown. In a few minutes the butchers arrived with Tom in safe custody. But where were the gentlemen who had offered the five bob reward? The landlord, who had hastily received his instruc- tions, cunningly knew nothing whatever of the matter. There certainly was a party of gentlemen from Brighton in his house some time ago, but they must be all at home by this time. But, however, the butchers were not to be done; they meant to have the five bob, and one went for the chief officer of the police, who soon arrived, and then sent for Mr. Wood, the town crier. Matters were gone into pro and con, and the constable decided that those that play jokes must pay for them, and that Tom had better pay the money and get re- couped from his friends. Tom ended the business by paying the men a shilling each, standing a pot of beer, and giving them two tickets each for his forthcoming benefit at the circus. And that was the business Tom Swan had gone out so quietly about, namely, to distribute some of his " paste- 394 TAVERN ANECDOTES as boards," ie., benefit tickets, among the good folks of Lewes, with whom he was a great favourite, he having often clowned in the town when out "tenting" with several circus companies; and if he was a "Talking Swan," he was nevertheless a very “downy bird," and considered in his day Tom one of the best benefit-makers out. appeared at Newsome's Circus that night in good time and in good form, and the next week had a rattling benefit. The two butchers had told the tale of their catching a Talking Swan, which was much to the advantage of the "Great Fool." Poor Tom continued circus clowning until his death, which took place at Hull in 1863. Two POTS.-On the St. Neots road, about seven and a half miles from Cambridge, on a sign-post before the Two Pots Inn are some lines, in their commencement possibly suggestive of the Italian brigand's mode of accosting the wayfarer-Siste, viator, siste! (Stop, traveller, stop!) But here "mine host" draws it just a leetle milder. On one. side of the board are the following- (( Stay, traveller, stay! lo, COOPER'S hånd Obedient brings two pots at thy command; Here take thy rest, banish the thought of care, Drink to thy friends, and recommend them here." On the other side- Traveller here's shelter, and withal good cheer; Two foaming pots of genuine home-brew'd beer ; And if a toast you'd have, why let us sing Success to farming, and long live the king." AND SAYINGS. 395. : TURTLE SOUP.-English tavern-keepers simply give notice by public advertisement of their inten- tion to" dress a fine lively turtle" on such a day; but the Yankee, more atrociously, writes in chalk upon the devoted animal's back, "Soup to-morrow," and places him on parade before his hotel; thus basely making him a party to his own murder, and deluding him, in defiance of all the laws of nations, to advertise his own execution. UNDER THE ROSE (Sub rosa).-Secretly, confi- dentially. Amongst the ancients the rose was an emblem of silence, and it was customary to suspend a rose from the ceiling of a banquet-room to inti- mate to the guests that nothing said in that room was to be uttered abroad. VALUE OF A BILLINGSGATE TAVERN. At Garraway's Sale Rooms, Cornhill, on Monday, Nov. 25, 1864, Messrs. Warlters and Lovejoy offered to public auction the lease and goodwill of the well-known tavern and public-house having the sign of the Three Tuns, but better known as "Simpson's," Billingsgate. The house has long been famous for its fish ordinary, and the returns, the auctioneer stated, during the past year amounted to 6680/ Held on lease from the Corporation for an unexpired term of four years and three-quarters, at a rent of 230l. per annum. Knocked down at 910%. 396 TAVERN ANECDOTES VALUE OF A CITY GIN-SHOP. Yesterday, at Garraway's Sale Rooms, Change Alley, Mr. Orgill offered to public auction the lease and good- will of the wine and spirit establishment, known as the Sir John Falstaff, at the corner of Castle Street and Houndsditch, together with the house adjoin- ing. The auctioneer described the house as the most eligible gin-shop in the City. All the busi- ness was done over the bar, the dense population at the back was proverbially wealthy, the traffic was very great, and the trade flowed spontaneously to the house, while the residential part of the premises was distinct from the business portion, which added greatly to the comfort of a family man. Held on lease from the parish trustees, for an unexpired term of nineteen and a half years, at a rent of 110l. per annum; the house adjoining being underlet at 557. per annum. The auctioneer said if it sold at 3500/. it would be within its value, but the highest bid was 2900/., at which sum it was bought in.—Morning Advertiser, June, 1864. VASE OF FLOWERS (vulgo, the Flower Pot), but derived from the earlier representations of the Salutation of the Angel Gabriel to the Virgin Mary, in which either lilies were placed in his hand, or they were set up as an accessory in a vase. As Popery declined the angel disappeared, and the lily-pot became a vase of flowers, and popularly called the Flower Pot. In order to AND SAYINGS. 397 distinguish them from ordinary flower-pots some painted theirs blue, and so the house became known as the Blue Flower Pot, while rivalry induced others to have two, and even three Blue Flower Pots. There was a celebrated coaching inn at the corner of Bishopsgate and Threadneedle Street, having for its sign the Flower Pot. It dated from an early THE FLOWER POT. period, and continued to our own time as a start- ing point for short stage-coaches and omnibuses. Charles Lamb, in an article on the South Sea House, in the "Essays of Elia," has-"Reader, in thy passage from the Bank-where thou hast been receiving thy half-yearly dividends (supposing thou art a lean annuitant like myself)—to the Flower Pot, to secure a place for Dalston, or Shacklewell, or some other thy suburban re- treat northerly, didst thou never observe," &c. 398 TAVERN ANECDOTES The introduction of railways gave a death-blow to the business connected with the house, which languished, and "languishing did die" a natural death in 1863, and on its site stands a banking- house of an immense size-yet of "Limited Liability!" VERY CARELESS TRICK.-A tippler who had his load on "fetched up" against the side of a house which had been newly-painted. Shoving himself clear by a vigorous effort, he took a glimpse at his shoulder, another at the house, a third at his hand, and exclaimed, "Well, that is a careless trick in whoever painted that house, to leave it standing out all night for people to run against." VERY CERTAIN.-A traveller, being at a coffee- house with some gentlemen, was largely drawing on the credulity of the company. "Where did you say all these wonders happened, sir?" asked a gentleman present. "I can't exactly say," replied the traveller; "but somewhere on the Continent --Russia, I think." "I should rather think It-a-ly," returned the other. VERY LIKE A WHALE.-Baron Steuben was an excellent military officer, but he never became a complete master of the English language, and often made laughable mistakes. Dining one day with General Washington, at Dobbs Ferry, on the Hudson, the conversation turned on fishing, and AND SAYINGS 399 the Baron remarked that fishing might be a fine thing for some persons, but not for him. He had tried it once, and after sitting three hours in a boat in the hot sun, he had caught only two fish. "What kind of fish were they?" inquired Wash- ington. "I am not sure, but I think one was a whale," replied the Baron. "A whale, Baron, in the North River!" "Yes, I assure you, a very fine whale, was it not?" asked the Baron, appealing to one of his aides-de-camp. "An eel, Baron." “I beg your Excellency's pardon, but I understood the gentlemen to say it was a whale.” VERY LIKELY.-A person complaining at a tavern of the smallness of the chops, a wag ob- served, "Probably the sheep were fed on short commons." VERY NICE.-A lady had just swallowed a small glass of wine, as a gentleman in company asked her for a taste. "It is all gone," said she, laughing, "unless you will take some from my lips." "I should be most happy," he replied, "but I never take sugar in my wine." VERY PARTICULAR.—“I say, landlord, that's a dirty towel for a man to wipe on." Landlord, with a look of amazement, replied, "Well, you're mighty particular, sixty or seventy of my boarders have wiped on that towel this morning, and you're the first man to find fault with it." 400 TAVERN ANECDOTES VINE.—The Vine, or the Bunch of Grapes, is a very natural sign at places where wine is sold. Bede, in the eighth century, notices the culture of the vine in this country, and vineyards are mentioned in the laws of Alfred. Domesday Book, among other vine- yards therein particularized, includes one at Hole- burne, and another at the village of Westminster. The Romans had so much concern with the vine and its fruit that there are more terms belonging to it, and its parts, its culture, products, and other appurtenances, than any other tree-viz., Vitis, the tree; palmes, the branch; pampinus, the leaf; racemus, a bunch of grapes; uva, the grape; capreolus, a tendril; vindemia, the vintage; vinum, wine; acinus, the grape-stone. The Rabbins say that the fiend buried at the foot of the first vine planted by Adam a lion, a lamb, and a hog; and that as wine is used, men receive from it ferocity, mildness, or wallowing. VINEYARD CONTROVERSY.-A paper war pro- voked by the Hon. Daines Barrington, who entered the lists to overthrow all chroniclers and anti- quaries from William of Malmesbury to Samuel Pegge, respecting the vineyards of Domesday Book. He maintained that the vines were cur- rants, and the vineyards currant-gardens. VINO.—In vino veritas (in wine is truth), mean- ing when persons are more or less intoxicated they AND SAYINGS. 401 utter many things they would at other times conceal. VINOUS, or ALCOHOLIC FERMENTATION.—This, the most important of all the fermentations, takes place when any saccharine liquid is brought into contact with the ferment yeast, the resulting pro- duct being alcohol and carbonic acid gas. Four things are absolutely necessary before the alcoholic fermentation can take place-viz., Ist, a saccharine liquid; 2nd, heat; 3rd, a healthy yeast; and 4th, air. The absence of any one of these agents will prevent the formation of alcohol. VINTRY WARD (London).-So called from the Vintry, or part occupied by the Vintners or wine merchants from Bordeaux, who anciently settled on this part of the Thames' bank. They landed their wines here, and till the 28th Edward I. were obliged to sell what they landed within forty days. (( VINUM THEOLOGICUM.-The best wine in the nation. Holinshed says it was so called because religious men would be sure neither to drinke nor be served of the worst, or such as was anie waies vined by the vintner; naie, the merchant would have thought that his soule would have. gone streightwaie to the devil if he should have served them with other than the best." VIRTUES OF WINE.-An Asiatic chief being D D 402 TAVERN ANECDOTES asked his opinion of a pipe of Madeira wine, with which he had been presented by an officer of the East India Company's service, said, "That he thought it a juice extracted from women's tongues and lions' hearts; for after he had drank a suf- ficient quantity of it, he could talk for ever, and also fight the devil!" VISCOUS FERMENTATION.—This takes place in saccharine liquids which have been kept too long before being set to ferment. The liquor becomes thick and slimy, owing to the sugar being con- verted into a kind of gum. This fermentation may generally be avoided by keeping the vats very clean, and only using good fresh yeast. WAGGON.-The Waggon, also the Waggon and Horses, were at one time very common roadside public-house signs. But railways, which have not only run the waggons off the roads, have also been the means of running them off many a signboard in "Merrie England." Among the curious signs may be mentioned that of an old inn in South Street, Chichester, the Waggon and Lamb. At the present time the name only does duty for the sign; but old inhabitants of the city remember over the door a quaint painting of a waggon and team of four horses, with a little lamb trotting by their side. The origin of the sign is lost in the "mist of ages." AND SAYINGS. 403 WALLACE'S ARMS is a sign often to be met with in various parts of Scotland, and set up in com- memoration of the great Scotch patriot, Sir William Wallace. Walmer CASTLE, or DOVER CASTLE, is among the most frequent of Castle signs to be met with. WALNUT TREE is far from an uncommon ale- house sign. WASSAIL.-A salutation used on New Year's Eve and New Year's Day over the spiced-ale cup, hence called the "wassail bowl." (Saxon, Was hal, water [of] health.) WATER DRINKER. The late Earl of Kelly, who was not one of the most abstemious, was ad- vised by his mother to copy the example of persons who enjoyed sound health by living upon herbs and drinking nothing stronger than wateṛ. lordship replied by begging to be excused imitating a person who ate like an ass and drank like a fish. His WEARY TRAVELLER, like the Travellers' Rest, is often accompanied by the homely and very in- viting phrase, “Rest and be thankful," and forms the sign of many a roadside inn. WELL AND BUCKET, as a public-house sign, is to be found in Shoreditch, London, and several provincial towns. DD 2 401 TAVERN ANECDOTES WELL SUPPLIED.—Is the man who confines himself to the drink best for him well-supplied? WELCOME AT AN INN.-" We can," says the author of "Rambles by Rivers," "put up this evening at an inn of fame, the Red Lion, where Shenstone wrote his well-known 'Lines on an Inn."" Our English sage has also been there with his Scottish disciple, and as he added a commentary to the lines, we will listen to that along with his quotation of them. "We happened," says Boswell, "to lie this night at an inn at Henley, where Shen- stone wrote these lines." "There is no private house," said Dr. Johnson, "in which people can enjoy themselves so well as at a capital tavern. Let there be ever so much grandeur, ever so much elegance, ever so much desire that everybody should be easy, in the nature of things it cannot be, there must always be some degree of care and anxiety. The master of the house is anxious to entertain his guests; the guests are anxious to be agreeable to him; and no man, but a very im- pudent dog indeed, can as freely command what is in another man's house as if it were his own. Whereas at a tavern there is a general freedom from anxiety. You are sure you are welcome; and the more noise you make, the more trouble you give, the more good things you call for, the welcomer you are. No servants will attend you with the alacrity which waiters do, who are incited by the AND SAYINGS. 405 prospect of an immediate reward in proportion as they please. No, sir, there is nothing which has yet been contrived by man by which so much happiness is produced as by a good tavern or inn." He then repeated with great emotion Shenstone's lines- "Whoe'er has travell'd life's dull round, Where'er his stages may have been, May sigh to think he still has found The warmest welcome at an inn.” A good deal of virtuous indignation has been ex- pended upon Shenstone for these lines, which have been pronounced to be a libel upon English hospi- tality, and even human nature; but he is bravely backed by Dr. Johnson, and there is no doubt a great deal of truth in them, though that we know may but increase the libel. Johnson's reasoning is curious, and he was constant in it. Hawkins says that he used to assert " that a tavern chair was the throne of human felicity." A wag, observing Shenstone's lines, wrote beneath them the follow- ing verse- "Whoe'er has travelled much about, Must very often sigh to think, That every host will turn you out Unless you've plenty of the chink." WET AND DRY.—A traveller went into an inn after a shower, and asked the landlord to show him to a good fire, "for," said he, "I'm very wet! and then, turning to the waiter, he said, "Bring 406 TAVERN ANECDOTES me a tankard of ale immediately, for I'm plaguy dry." "WHAT are wages here ?" asked a labourer of a boy. "I don't know, sir." "What does your father get on Saturday night?" "Get!" said the boy, "why, he gets as tight as a brick!" Bos- "WHAT do you think of whisky, Dr. Johnson ?" hiccupped Boswell, after emptying a sixth tumbler of toddy. "Sir," said the doctor, "it penetrates my very, soul like the small still voice of conscience, and is doubtless the worm that never dies." well afterwards inquired the doctor's opinion on illicit distillation, and how the great moralist would act in an affray between the smugglers and the excise. "If I went by the letter of the law I should assist the customs, but according to the spirit I should stand by the contrabands.” WHAT is the difference between a brewer and a flea?—The one buys hops and the other takes them. WHAT TO EAT, DRINK, AND AVOID.-Eat the very best of everything, if you can get it, but not at other people's expense. Drink port, cham- pagne, and hock, in preference to small beer; and avoid, if you have any respect for your health, nay life, a Poor-law Union. WHAT'S THIS, EH ?—At one of our commercial AND SAYINGS. 407 hotels a stout, red-faced gentleman, in a white beaver, blue coat, and buff vest, offered to wager a sovereign that he would close his eyes, and simply by taste name any kind of liquor in the house. The bet was taken, and the process of winning or losing commenced forthwith. "That is genuine brandy," said the fat gentleman, tasting from a wine-glass; “and this this. is whisky," and so on. At length a wag poured out a glass of water, which he handed to the connoisseur. "This-ah- ah, this is," said he, tasting it again, "by thunder, gentlemen, I lose the bet. I never tasted this liquor before !" WHEATSHEAF AND SUGAR LOAF is a combina - tion of a grocer's sign with that of a baker's, and as such is often to be met with. WHEEL. The wheel is often used to denote that a wheelwright shop is close at hand. It is occa- sionally used by itself, and in combination with other things as a public-house sign. At times it is the contraction of the sign of the Catherine Wheel. The Running Wheel is to be met with, and we have seen as a sign the Coach Wheel, where it was announced that- "All those who cut the tables here, For it shall pay one pot of beer.” WHEN Alderman Treacher, a brewer, was knighted, Garrick said he ought to have been made a knight of Malta. 408 TAVERN ANECDOTES WHEN GROG MAY BE TAKEN MEDICINALLY. Grog may be taken medicinally— After goose, or duck, or pork, or Irish stew, or any delicacy of the season into which onions may have seasoningably entered. Invariably after salmon. When there is any washing being done at home. When the painters are in the house. When a person feels faint, and doesn't know what is the matter with him. When a friend turns up after an absence of several years, or when you are parting with a friend whom you do not expect to see for several years. When a person has the toothache. When a person has lost at cards, or when a per- son has come into a large property. When a person has met with a great misfortune, or made a tremendous bargain. When a person has quarrelled, and when a reconciliation has taken place. When a person is riding outside a stage-coach, or is on a sea voyage, or goes out between the acts of a five-act tragedy, or before ascending in a balloon, or after coming off the jury of a coroner's inquest, or when you are sitting up for your wife, or when a friend drops in to smoke a cigar ;—and, in fact, upon all suitable occasions of sadness or merriment, when a person feels rather low, or feels in very high spirits. AND SAYINGS. 409 WHENEVER we drink too deeply of pleasure we find a sediment at the bottom, which pollutes and en bitters what we relished at first. WHERE is there no end of cats?—In the Isle of Man, where the cats have no tails. "WHICH is the best shop to get a fiddle at?” asked a pupil of Tom Cook the musician. "An apothecary's shop," answered the wag, "because if you buy a drug there they always give you a viol in." WHICH IS WHICH.-Two old soakers, named Thompson and Rogers, wandered home late one night, stopping at what Thompson supposed was his residence, but which his companion insisted was his own house. Thompson rung the bell lustily, when a window was opened, and a lady in- quired what was wanted. "Madam," inquired. Mr. T., "isn't this Mr. T-Thompson's house?" No," replied the lady, "this is the residence of Mr. Rogers." "Well," exclaimed Thompson, "Mrs. T-Thompson-beg your pardon- Mrs. Rogers, wont you just step down to the door and pick out Rogers, for Thompson wants to go home?" ·66 WHIST.-"You have played the deuce with my heart," remarked a young gentleman to a young lady, who was partner in a game of whist. "Because you played the knave," replied the lady, smiling. 410 TAVERN ANECDOTES WHISKY-IRISH!-An eminent spirit merchant in Dublin announces in an Irish paper that he has still a small quantity of the whisky on hand which was drunk by George IV. when in Dublin. WHO brews a quarrel soon may bruise his head. · WHO ought to be the jolliest priest in all England?—Dr. Fillpotts. WINE AND WALNUTS. Wine and walnuts, I own, are a feast quite divine, When your walnuts are good, and well-flavour'd your wine; But the trash which you give us is truly infernal, For your wine has no spirit-your walnuts no kerne!! WINE AND WATER.-A water-drinking squire would fain have persuaded some of his brother squires to adopt his specific, as the only certain preventive of gout; but in this he met with poor success. He reduced one of them by degrees to half a pint of sherry, and he began to flatter him- self the victory was gained. But approaching him one morning with a very hypochondriac coun- tenance, his refractory patient thus addressed him : "I really think, my good friend, I am too far gone for all this." And so he was; for that very even- ing he returned to his bottle, the next to two bottles, and in a very few years to the dust from whence he sprang. + AND SAYINGS. 411 WIT AND WINE.-Wine is such a whetstone for wit, that if it be often set thereon it will ultimately wear out the steel, and barely leave a back where there was an edge. WOODMAN.—The Woodman is a very common sign throughout England; occasionally it is termed the Woodman and Dog- "He's a better woodman than thou tak'st him for." SHAKSPEARE. WOODMAN. WHY does a beer-drinker resemble an invalid? Because he's so frequently ale-ing. WHY is a drunkard hesitating to sign the pledge like a sceptical Hindoo?-Because he is in doubt whether to give up the worship of Jug-or-not. 412 TAVERN ANECDOTES WHY is a leaky barrel like a coward?—Because it runs. WHY is a vain young lady like a confirmed drunkard ?-Because neither of them is satisfied with the moderate use of the glass. WHY would a tippling "peeler" make a good miner?-Because at least we must admit him to be a crusher of the quartz. WRIGHT OF NORWICH.-"Do you know Dr. Wright of Norwich ?" A reproof given to a person who stops the decanter at dinner. Dr. Wright of Norwich was a great diner-out and excellent talker. When a person stops the bottle and is asked this question, it is as much as to say, Dr. Wright had the privilege of doing so because he entertained the table with his conversation, but you are no Dr. Wright, except in stopping the circulation of the wine. A similar reproof is given in the Universities in this way the bottle-stopper is asked if he knows A or B (any name), and after several queries as to who A or B is, the questioner says, "He was hanged," and being asked what for, replies, "For stopping the bottle.” X ON BEER-CASKS originally indicated beer which had to pay ten shillings duty, and hence it came to mean beer of a given quality. Two or three crosses are mere trade marks, intended to convey the notion that the beer is twice or thrice as strong A AND SAYINGS. 413. as that which is marked with only one X, or paid. but a ten-shilling duty. YEAST. This should be fresh, healthy, and free from acid. A sour yeast will never make a good beer. Sourness in yeast may, to a certain extent, be corrected by the addition of carbonate of soda, and it is said that stale yeast may be improved by straining it through bran. The fermentable power of yeast varies according to the quality of the beer from which it is derived. If it results from a strong beer it is much more substantial, acts more gently and more certainly, and is more apt to favour a healthy and sweet fermentation. If, on the other hand, it is derived from a small beer, it acts all at. once with a sort of violence, and after having excited in the wort a hasty bubbling, and kind of effervescence, it loses all its energy, from which results a loss of a portion of the spirituous principle, and is frequently followed by acidity. YORKSHIRE ALL OVER.-A lad from this county entered a public-house where a gentleman was making a breakfast of eggs. After eyeing the gentleman a few moments he asked, "Please, sir, would you please to gi' me a pinch of salt?" Certainly, my lad," he answered, "but what can you wish of a pinch of salt?" "Woy, zur," said the lad, "I thought you mayhap might ask me to have an egg." Struck with the boy's ingenious mode of supplying himself, the gentleman handed (( 414 TAVERN ANECDOTES AND SAYINGS. him an egg, asking, “Where do you come from, my lad ?" "Fra Yorkshire, zur." YORKSHIRE GREY is a favourite sign in York- shire, particularly in the horse-breeding districts. 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