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ANTI-PAPAL LI
Y573 COALITION
©
- OF
| THE THERMAL AND MINERAL WATERS
OF FRANCE
AGAINST THE SACRED WATERS OF
LOURDES & LA SALETTE.
Translatº fim # frºntº, umber # white, sulpit,
JOHN R. BEARD, D.D.,
Author of “THE Conrassional ;” “A Wrew or Romanismſ;” “THM Psorºr's
DroTIoxARx. or Tam BIBLR;” “THE AUTobiography or SATAN;”
, , - &c., &c.
| || ". . . LoN Don; .
SMART & ALLEN, London House Yard, Paternoster Row;
JAMEs M'GEACHY, 89 UNION STREET, GLASGow;
JoHNSON & RAwsON, MARKET STREET, MANCHESTER;
. . . . & . - AND ALL BOOKSELLER8.
. , -º- . . . . . . . . . . * - • ' '... . :
, - " -: , º, .º.º.º. ** . -3, . . . . - . . . . * * *.
:: ***.*.*.*.*.*::-- ºf . . . . . - . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .”.”.
- SMITH & WeIR, PRINTERs, GLasgow. . . . . . . . . . . .




C O AL IT IO N
OF
THE THERMAL AND MINERAL WATERS
OF FRANCE
*
AGAINST THE SACRED WATERS OF
LOURDES & LA SALETTE.
Črmislatº from fit frºntº, umber fift üritºr's $nflority,
º •. BY
JOHN R. BEARD, D.D.,
Author of “THE CONFESSIONAL; ” “A view of Roxſan ISAſ; ” “THE PEOPLE's
DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE ; ” “THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY of SATAN; ”
&c., &c.
“In vain do ye worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of
men, and making the word of God of none effect through your tradition."—
Mark vii. 7, 13. *
L ON DO N : e
SMART & ALLAN, London House Yard, Paternoster Row;
JAMES M'GEACHY, 89 UNION STREET, GLASGOW;
JOHNSON & RAwsON, MARKET STREET, MANCHESTER;
AND ALL BOOJKSELLERS.
t-w.o.º. Zá
-7th-37
& s 2–
*.
VEUILLOT-WHO IS HEP
THE question, which may be asked by many a reader of the following
pages, will, after a brief reply, set before the English public an outline of
one of the most extraordinary characters of modern society, and one of the
most active, energetic, and unscrupulous promoters of the papacy in its
last but not improved edition. In short, Veuillot, more papal than the
Pope himself, is at once the Pope's father, and the great lay pope of the
hour. As such, he keeps the Church in order within, and guarantees its
security without. Even the Jesuits, who govern the Pope and his depen-
dents, owe and pay fealty to Veuillot—not that they like the master or love
the man, but that they cannot afford to offend an advocate whose blows are
fatal, and whose temper is imperious and unappeasable.
Louis Veuillot,” a French littérateur and journalist, born in 1813, in
Gatinais (Loiret), is the son of a poor working man, by trade a cooper, who,
lacking work in his own village, in 1818 migrated to Paris, where he opened
a Small wine vault. The eldest of four children, he was sent to a school of
mutual instruction, and at the age of thirteen placed in a solicitor's Office.
He there passed his time in reading bad novels and in frequenting low
theatres. Soon he felt his literary instincts awake; but all his education
remained to be done. Full of courage, and without any preceptor but
himself, he applied to work: the day he spent in his office, the night at his
favourite books. At nineteen he had acquired literature enough to live by
his pen. He then entered into the offices of “L’Esprit Public,” and
engaged in the press to do whatever was required. He opened his career
as a ministerial journalist in the “Echo de la Seine Inſerieure” (1832). He
there made himself remarkable for his ardour and his talent for polemics.
There also he fought two duels: one with an actor, on account of a critical
theatrical article, the other with one of the editors of the “Journal de
Rouen," a republican print. Toward the end of 1832 he went to Périgueux,
as principal editor of the “Memorial de la Dordogne.” In that capacity
also he had to support by two duels the bitter and aggressive language of
his journal. Recalled to Paris in 1837 to labour on “La Charte," a journal
founded by the Government, and which soon ceased to appear, he then
* The biographical outline is translated from the article headed VEUILLOT in the
isPlationaire Universal des Contemporains,” par G. Vaperean. Paris, Hachetta & Co.,
t).
4.
undertook the editorship of “La Paix,” a doctrinaire journal. Down to
this, a stranger, if we may believe his own confessions, to all serious
thoughts, M. L. Veuillot had hitherto given proof of no other merit, as a
writer, than a certain vivacity of style. A sceptic and a railer, he had
become the jolly companion of an able man, then Prefect of Périgueux. . He
Succeeded marvellously in literature somewhat worse than light, and did
not retire before the darings or the buffoonery of song. Not having poli-
tical any more than religious faith, he was on the point of becoming “one
of those freebooters of the press,” as he himself said, when a friend of his,
M. Olivier Fulgence, proposed to him a journey into Italy (1838). M.
Veuillot arrived in Rome in the holy week. He was strongly affected by
the religious pomp of the Eternal City. He procured an introduction to
the Pope. When he returned to Paris he had put off the old man. Devoted
to the defence of papal interests, he did not merely believe, he put his beliefs
into practice. He wrote pious books; he published “Les Pilgrimages de
Suisse,” Legends, Narratives, Descriptions (1838; 8th ed. 1856); “Pierre
Saintive,” a religious novel, in the epistolary form (1840); “Le Saint
Rosaire Medité,” a small book of piety (1840). He composed even Can-
tiques, but his conversion had not made him a poet. He soon saw the
fact, and went back to prose. Then he published “Rome et Lorette,” a
souvenir of a journey into Italy, with an autobiographical introduction
(1841; 6th ed. I855), and “Agnés de Laurens; ou Memoires de Soeur de
Saint-Louis,” a picture of a young ladies' boarding school.
During his sojourn at Périgueux, M. Veuillot had formed a connection
with General Bugeaud, whose military roughness suited the Sour and bili-
cose nature of the young writer. The general made him his secretary, and
took him into Africa with himself (1842). Doubtless it is to those relations
and to that journey that M. Veuillot owes, besides his book on “Les
Français en Algérie" (1844), his ideas on the soldier's duty, since developed
in “L'Univers.” The soldier and the monk are the two pivots of his papal
social order. -
Returning from Africa, he became the head clerk of the Home Secretary.
At the end of eighteen months, M. Veuillot quitted that office to enter into
the literary corps of the “Univers Religieux" (1843). At first a simple
editor, he soon became the soul and the head of the journal, which, under
his direction, proved a power that could not be overlooked. In connection
with the lawsuit of Cambalot and the question of religious instruction, M.
Veuillot declared war to the knife against the university, and treated that
state institution in Such a manner as to bring on himself some months of
imprisonment (1844). In the campaign of Sonderbund in 1847 he greatly
encouraged the resistance of the papists.
When the French Revolution of February (1848) broke out, it was hailed
by M. Veuillot as a Providential event. Then he repudiated it, and pursued
5
its acts and its actors with an ardent virulence which procured for him from
his adversaries the reprinting of his early apologies. In 1848 he had
became, by the retirement of M. de Coux, principal editor of the “Univers."
He worked in agreement with M. M. Montalembert and Falloux until the
Ioth of December. He soon separated therefrom. Already he had come
to a rupture with “L’Ami de la Religion et l' Ere Nouvel." Besides his
daily struggles in the ultramontane organ, he, in different publications,
assailed the university men, the philosophers, the revolutionists, and the
socialists. Thus there appeared before the public in succession, in 1848,
“Les Libres Penseurs; ” in 1849, “L’Esclave Vindex,” a pamphlet full of
active energy; and “Le Lendemain de la Victoire,” Socialistic Scenes; in
1850, “Petite Philosophie,” comprising five novelletes on Chris/ian Charity,
with preface and epilogue; in 1852, “La Legality," Philosophics Dia-
logues, &c. -
A great discussion having arisen among the bishops on the subject of the
classics, M. Veuillot did not hesitate to censure the prelates who were not
on the side taken by “L’Univers,” an implacable opponent of Greek and
Latin antiquity. Censured in his turn by the Archbishop of Paris, more for
the tone of his polemics than for even their doctrines, M. Veuillot thought
it his duty to appeal to the Pope. He did more; he went to Rome to plead
his own cause, thus placing the Sovereign Judge of the Church in the
position of deciding between him and those who approved neither the
tendencies nor the language of his journal. M. Veuillot was absolved, and
“L’Univers" continued its deadly war against liberty, reason, science, and
progress. None the less was his journal interdicted in several dioceses. In
1853 the Bishop of Orleans, My Lord Dupanloup, expressly forbad his
clergy to read it. Some time afterwards, M. Dupin Lanny, speaking of
certain seigniorial rights in the feudal times, M. Veuillot joined battle with
the celebrated advocate, and replied to him in a large volume (“Le Droit
du Seigneur,” 1854), which, without justifying the middle ages against what
the author called a calumny, threw into view his ample acquaintance with
the law of usage in those days. In the more recent controversies occasioned
by the question of the Pope's temporal power (1859-1861), M. Veuillot was
one of the most ardent to uphold the papal claims against all its enemies,
secret or declared. Then “L'Univers" appeared a danger for the public
peace, and was suppressed. Some days after it reappeared under the title
of “Le Monde,” but the formidable personality of M. Veuillot had disap-
peared. It has since come back to the front. A journey which he then
made to Rome brought him into new complexities with the Imperial Govern-
ment. . We add that he has received from the Pope's hand the honorary
title of Knight of the Holy Sylvestrian Order.
Besides various useful lessons, the ſoregoing particulars offer a curious
illustration of the unity said to reign in the Church of Rome.
6
Among numerous books besides those referred to above, M. Veuillot is
the author of a Biography of Pius IX. (“Biographie de Pie IX.” 1863),
which deserves little reliance. Almost more than any other author, M.
Veuillot writes himself into his productions, especially the biographical.
Every line from his pen may be said to be Veuillotised.
*TIEEE A NTI-P.A.F.A.T., T.I.E.E.R.A.E, Y.
NUMBER. I., PRICE 6d.
MARY ALACO QUE,
AND TEIE
yoRSHIP OF THE SACRED jie ART OF Jesus.
PRESENTED IN THEIR REAL CHARACTER,
Trañslated with the permission of the Author, M. Louis Asseline,
BY JOHN R. BEARD, D.D.
--º
|MAY BE HAD OF ALL BOOKSELLERS.
CO ALITION
OF THE
THERMAL AND MINERAL WATERS OF FRANCE
AGAINST THE
SACRED YATERs OF Lourdes & LA SALETTE.
“Gº N the night of the 15th to the 16th of May, in
º % || the year of grace 1873, the Pyreneean Circus.
£$º presented a sight unique in the annals of
tº history. All the mineral and thermal waters,
of France met together there by appointment, bringing with
them their medical inspectors and their hotel keepers, accom-
panied by their waiters. The assembly had an aspect at
Once mournful and imposant. The sight of the fountains,
clad in long robes of black crape, would make you think
that they were about to take part in an interment of the first
Order. The medical inspectors, clothed in black, set off
with white cravats, had allowed their beards to grow; the
hotel keepers were as pale as death; their servants, on their
legs behind them, resembled statues rather than human
beings.
In this assembly, although its members had came from all
parts of France, there was neither Right, nor Left, nor
Central Left, nor Central Right. Vichy was seated by the
side of Vals; Saint-Laurent-les-Bains by the side of Bagnols;
Lamalou, Plombières, Bagnères-de-Louchon occupied the
same seat of stone; Barége and Bourbonne-les-Bains pressed
each other's hands affectionately; Uriage and Allevard spoke

8
to each other for the first time; Balaruc chatted amicably
with Lamalou, Condillac with Saint-Galmier, Cauterets
with Eaux-Bonnes, Eaux-Chaudes with Bagnères-de-Bigorre,
Cambo with Montdore, Saint-Sauveur with Vergèze, Euzet
with les Fumades. A great number of other fountains, which
we do not name, presented the same edifying aspect.
In the midst of the medical inspectors, special notice was
taken of Doctor Chapelet and Doctor Sauriceau, the former
on account of his Saintly figure, the latter on account of his
Sneering physiognomy. As the hour of midnight was striking,
CAUTERETs, elected president by acclamation, having at her
right Saint-Galmier, and at her left Condillac, began to speak
in these terms:– s "
Ladies and Gentlemen, Your readiness to reply to the
appeal which I addressed to you proves that you feel your-
selves threatened in your dearest interests. Two fountains,
which for six thousand years have been accounted waters of
the well and the cistern, all of a sudden changed into
sacred fountains. I allude to Lourdes and Salette—a week
since unknown localities, to-day celebrated throughout the
world, and more visited than even Mecca and Benares.
The railways scarcely suffice for transporting the pilgrims
which from all parts of France travel, these to ask of the
Virgin Mary an increase of faith, those cures which we,
medical fountains, are unable to effect. Indeed, who could
expect anything else? The “Univers Religeux,” and with
it all the provincial newspapers, that of Nîmes at their head,
declare with a triumphant tongue that, thanks to the Sacred.
waters of Lourdes and la Salette, the paralytic walk, the
blind see, the leprous are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dumb
speak—in a word, their waters are irresistible; and if this
night any of you were to telegraph to Veuillot that, by
watering the cemetery of Lourdes with the water of that
celebrated fountain, the operator had raised a dozen from
their graves, Small and great, he would publish the miracle
in his journal, “Le Univers,” in capital letters, and treat as
miscreants or freethinkers such as should presume to doubt
the statement. Have the two fountains the virtues which the
newspaper editors ascribe to them P If yes, we must hang
down our heads; if no—but how prove the “no " when we
9
See at the head of the pilgrims archbishops, bishops, grand
vicars, canons, theologers, Scholastics, yea, deputies, barons,
earls, marquises, and ladies of the great world? Hence my
perplexities, and I say to myself. It is difficult to believe in
miraculous cures wrought by our rivals, but to believe that
loo, ooo pilgrims should have faith in their virtues when they
no longer have faith in the waters of La Garonne, is more
difficult still; but difficult as that appears to me, I do not
see less danger therein for you, my sister fountains, for those
skilful physicians, whom I am glad to see present, and those
excellent inn-keepers. Up to this time the clergy have been
faithful to us, and you saw them as black points interspersed
among the laity. Barèges dressed their scabby humours;
Vichy treated their liver; Vals their intermittent fevers; my
daughter Contréxeville their bladders; Saint-Laurent-les-
Bains their lumbagoes; Lamalou their rheumatisms; Eaux-
Bonnes had charge of their lungs; Balaruc took their palsies
in hand—in short, all, according to our virtues greater or
less, we had the honour of receiving their visits. The
presence of those devout personages at our several stations
was our best patronage, for the more they speak of heaven,
the more do they relish the earth. When there they flock
to our waters, they preach them up, and thereby increase the
number of our customers. But at present they are about to
desert you. The reason is very simple. We achieve only
cures, and that after a long process, while our rivals perform
miracles, and that in less time than a clever dentist would
require to extract the stump of a tooth. If these great lords
and high ecclesiastical dignitaries and their friends, the news-
paper writers, abandon us, all France will imitate them, and
then, my sisters, we shall flow on in solitude as in the age of
Stone, when no one, except some intelligent animals, sus-
pected the thousandth part of our virtues—when that hour
strikes, you gentlemen that keep hotels—your houses will
be of no value; you learned doctors—you will be without
patients; and those places where gold has been lavished, in
order to make them into Edens, will become the resort of
the cormorant and the Osprey. (Tears and groans.) I know,
ladies and gentlemen, what is the meaning of those burning
tears which I see pouring down your cheeks. We are ruined
IO
if we do not invent a conductor to turn aside. the thunder
which brattles over our heads. Medical fountains, my
sisters, can we compete with two miraculous fountains, whose
cures are attested by my lords, who would deserve to be
whipped at the public whipping post if they are puffers, or
to be sent to a secular School if they are dupes, and that in
order that they may know their right hand from their left. I
now invite any one to speak who may wish to do so; and in
order not to lose ourselves in idle discussions, I beg each of
you to indicate a means of turning aside the danger with
which we are menaced. (Prolonged silence.)
PLOMBIEREs—From the words of Cauterets one may fairly
conclude that our rivals have been able to perform miracles.
Mere doubt, coming from so celebrated a source as Our
president, is equal to an affirmation which would eclipse
even that of Pius IX. Accordingly, without hesitation, I
vote against all the alleged apparitions of the Virgin at
Lourdes, at la Salette, and elsewhere. I consider them
theatrical wonders; and to put an end to all these tricks, I
propose that we print a million copies of the decision of the
principal tribunal of Grenoble—demonstrating that the Virgin
said to have appeared to the celebrated Mathurin was nothing
else than a pious maiden, advanced in years, by name
Lamerlière. By this means we shall expose the juggleries
of our adversaries, and at the same time lay bare their sacred
waters, which will then remain what they have ever been—
fountain waters, good for cooking and washing. (From all
sides—Capital capital ()
URIAGE–I would in every particular agree to the proposal
of Plombières, if, instead of having to do with fools led by
rogues, we had to do with thoughtful people. At first sight
you would expect that the Grenoble judgment would have
put an end to the profane comedy which is played at la
Salette. The contrary has taken place. More than ever the
crowd hurries toward the sacred mountain, on which they
have built a church of the greatest beauty, with the gold of
the rich and the copper of the poor. As to the waters of
the miraculous fountain, which have no more virtue than
those of the Isère, they have became, in the hands of their
skilful managers, a ceaseless Source of revenue. They are
I
exported far and near, like the champagne of Widow
Cliquot. -
ALLEVARD-Oh! the Charlatans.
URIAGE-Who wonders there are so many charlatans when
there are so many simpletons P In my opinion, the only
effect of publishing the Grenoble decision would be a heavy
printer’s bill, for the clericals would say of that judgment
what they have already said: It is the work of free-thinkers.
Instead of turning pilgrims away from Salette, we should
urge them thither. Let us seek for some other means.
(Signs of discouragement in people's faces.)
CONDILLAC—I entirely approve the sensible words of my
neighbour Uriage, but I hasten to add that, in the mandate
of an illustrious prelate, we hear a whisper which we may
make use of with the greatest advantage. (Movements of
attention.) Why need I name the prelate P His Eminence
My Lord de Bonald, Cardinal Archbishopric of Lyons and
Primate of Gaul, in energetic terms condemned the theatrical
display of la Salette, and denied flatly the appearance of the
Virgin. Him you cannot call a huguenot or a free-thinker;
he was an ultramontane of the first water. Let us reprint
his mandate, and give it the greatest publicity; it would
prevail more than twenty verdicts given in red robes in
courts of appeal. (Bravo! bravo!)
LES FUMADES-Put Condillac's proposal to the vote.
ALLEVARD-I ask leave to speak against its being put.
THE LADY-PRESIDENT CAUTERETS-Speak, but do not
wander from the question. -
ALLEVARD-If I asked permission to address you, it is to
prove that the mandate of the deceased Cardinal de Bonald
would not serve our cause better than the Grenoble judgment.
You look at me with astomished eyes. I am not surprised.
You do not know what I know, and you are not the only
ones. Listen (tokens of attention.) When His Grandeur
My Lord de Lyon had published his mandate, true as to the
substance and admirable in form, those whom he attacked
said to him ironically: Your Eminence, you have not mended
your pen from love of the truth, but from love of your own
Lady of Fourvières; you feared, and not without reason,
that our Lady of Salette would eclipse yours; hence your
I 2
pious indignation: “You are a goldsmith, Mr. Josse.” My
Lord paid for his paper and ink, and his eloquent voice sank
in emptiness. Why then draw his mandate out of your
waste paper baskets? What the powerful prelate could not
prevent in his lifetime shall we prevent after his death P Let
us look for arms less rusty than those of the dead primate.
(New signs of discouragement—prolonged silence.)
THE LADY-PRESIDENT CAUTERETS-We are met together
here to find a way of exposing the tricks of our adversaries;
two have been proposed, and neither has a chance of being
adopted, if I may judge from what I see in your faces; can
we not all unite to find a means ? Come, set your heads to
work. If nothing ensues you know what we have to expect.
CAMBO-Why should we not oppose our real cures to the
pretended cures of our rivals P. Eaux-Bonnes may say: I have
cured diseases of the chest given up by Medical Science;
Vals: I have put to flight fevers which would not yield to
Quinine; Balaruc; I have given back their-feet to paralytics;
Vichy: I have put livers and spleens into order; Baréges: I
have cleansed many a hide; Vergèze : With my word, I have
wrought a heap of miracles; Contréxeville: I have dissolved
stones. In short, which of us has not marvellous cures
standing to his credit? Let us not hesitate. Let us obtain
a publicity which will outshine the delicious Revival Oint-
ment of de Barry, and the celebrated White Mustard after
which the world is running, and so make our virtues known
far and near, that with their splendour we may throw the
false virtues of our two rivals into the shade. . . . (Excellent!)
EAUx-BONNES-Cambo's proposal denotes good nature
on his part, but it forgets that if we undertake to effect cures,
a claim founded on facts; our rivals declare that they work
miracles—between us and them struggle is as impossible as
between the earthen pot and the iron pot. What good is
there in displaying our virtues P No one denies them.
Secondly, as long as the masses believe that with some
bottles of holy water they can do what is done with us only
after some time, and at no Small cost we shall be beaten.
What we must find to-day and act to-morrow is a sure means
of proving to the least clear sighted that the appearances of
the Virgin on Mount Salette and in the grove of Lourdes
I 3
are, as Plombières has well remarked, only theatrical appari-
tions. This means we are here to seek for. We have not
found it. Let us “try, try again.”
AMELIE-LES-BAINS-It seems to me that when a tribunal
and an illustrious prelate have combined to expose our op-
ponents’ cheats, and have done nothing but lose their labour,
it is very difficult to glean anything after them. Suppose that
we all protest unanimously. -
DOCTOR CHAPELET-Except me.
AMELIE-LES-BAINS-They would not believe us against
the apparitions of the Virgin, any more than the jurymen of
Grenoble and Cardinal Bonald. The patrons of Lourde and
those of Salette would ironically throw in our teeth: “You are
a goldsmith, Mr. Josse.” We may spare ourselves the trouble,
we are in a blind alley, we can get out only by a miracle.
AIX-LES-BAINS-If all you want is a miracle, I will provide
that, may a score, three score, five score, if you will. They
are as plenty as blackberries in autumn. . (Numerous marks
of disbelief.) If I may judge by your air of astonishment,
you think I am Only in play. I speak, I assure you, seriously,
very seriously.
DOCTOR CHAPELET (shrugging his shoulders)—What,
you, Aix-les-Bains, work a miracle? Come, let us have one.
AIX-LES-BAINS-Why not, good doctor, since I have
served my apprenticeship in the school of thy Ultromon-
tanes. Now, as we cannot defend ourselves against our
competitors except by opposing miracle to miracle, I pro-
pose to the assembly to fabricate apparitions of the Virgin.
(Lively tokens of curiosity.) What vestry keepers do to get
water for their mill why should not we do to supply moving
power for ours?
VALs—We are surely at the end of our resources, since
Aix-les-Bains sees no other way of success but by opposing
miracle to miracle. Now, down to this hour we have effected
cures, miracles never. That task belongs solely to the
Almighty.
AIX-LES-BAINS-If, Vals, you had listened better to me,
you would have understood that I do not propose to work
miracles, but to fabricate them—a thing somewhat different
methinks. . Now, we can fabricate apparitions of the Virgin
I4.
Mary and all the Saints of the Calendar, including even that
of the venerable Labre and the Shepherdess Pibrac. More-
over, when the papists fabricate resurrections,
DOCTOR CHAPELET-You lie.
EVIANS-No, doctor, Aix does not lie; I take on myself
to prove that he does not.
THE LADY-PRESIDENT CAUTERETs—-Let us not quit the
subject under discussion. Dawn will soon appear, and
at day break we shall all disperse, since our meeting is
illegal. I could have wished it had taken place in Paris, at
noon-day, in the Great Circus, where the illustrious Pasde-
loup gives his concerts; but in vain did I knock at every
gate to obtain permission. Mayors, prefects of police,
ministers—all refused me, while they leave the doors wide
open for the opera and for masked balls, which have no
moral quality and are visible signs of decay in the eyes of
true patriots, who hold that a fallen people is not lifted up
by cutting Capers, or by females of equivocal character.
(Very good.) -
AIx BAINS-Point out to us how they work, I mean
to fabricate apparitions or appearances.
EVIANs—I claim priority to show how the Pope's children
fabricate resurrections—their tricks of old throw light on
their tricks of to-day. (From all sides—Go On Go on 1)
THE LADY-PRESIDENT CAUTERETs—Since the Assembly
gives thee leave, speak; but don’t be prolix like Lorgeril, or
excited like du Temple. • *
DOCTOR CHAPELET-Add, madam, not impudent like
Ordinaire.
DOCTOR SAURICEAU-Ordinaire is not an ordinary man.
CHAPELET-Ordinaire is a red.
SAURICEAU-Du Temple is a white.
CHAPELET-Thy Ordinaire is a friend of the Communists.
SAURICEAU-Thy Du Temple is a friend of the Chouans.
CHAPELET-Hold thy peace, Atheist !
SAURICEAU-Be quiet, Coxcomb
CHAPELET-Jacobin
SAURICEAU-Leaguer
CHAPELET-Red Hat
SAURICEAU-Black Hat
I 5
CHAPELET-Marat’s Son |
SAURICEAU-Son of Tristaillon | Here, sir, is my card,
give me yours. .
CHAPELET (making the sign of the cross)—The Pope
keep me from fighting.
SAURICEAU-If thy Pope allows thee to be a coward, he
ought at least to teach thee to keep thy impudent tongue
within thy lips. Thou art as bad as thine own Veuillot.
(Great tumult in the Assembly.) -
THE LADY-PRESIDENT CAUTERETs—Do not let us repeat
here the most scandalous scenes of the Assembly at Versail-
les; respect for self lies in respect for others. I call Doctor
Chapelet to order and Doctor Sauriceau. (Very good )
Evians, you have a right to speak; do not abuse it. The
day will soon be here. -
Ev1ANs—I deplore the afflicting scene which we have just
witnessed. We are here not to dispute, but to find out a
way of laying bare the deceits of our rivals; the danger
which threatens us, the sword of Damocles suspended
over our heads, . . . . the . . .
THE LADY-PRESIDENT CAUTERETS-Facts, Evians, facts |
leave that most abused sword to others. No useless phrases
I pray, else I shall request you to sit down.
Evi ANS-Madam, I obey you. In the days when Farel
conquered Geneva and drove out of it its bishop, Pierre de
Iabaume, his canons, his priests, his monks, and his nuns,
to the number of 6oo odd, they discovered in the convent
of Rives an altar on which the good Fathers produced
resurrections. You know or you don’t know that the Roman
Church teaches that still-born babes, lacking baptism, go to
neither heaven nor hell, but into a certain place called limbo,
where those infants have neither heat nor cold. If, however,
they are then without suffering, equally are they without
pleasure. Hence parental grief, which is the more acute
because their fathers and mothers feel themselves powerless
to give them aid, seeing that they are utterly unable to get
them out of limbo into heaven, even by their passing through
purgatory. The good Fathers of the convent of Rives,
touched with compassion, puzzled their brain for a long
while in order to learn how they could supply assistance in
I6
the case. By force of persistence, they discovered the
means; and one fine day the report was current in Geneva
that resurrections were effected on the altar of the Virgin.
The following is the method pursued by our monks:–The
parents bring the still-born child and place it on the altar of
the Madonna. Scarcely is it there when the child’s cheeks
assume colour. Miracle | Miracle 1 cry the astonished father
and mother. He breathes | Forthwith he is baptised by a
priest. Scarcely has the last drop of water fallen on its head
when—he is gone : gone now to pass into heaven. O the
joy of his parents
DOCTOR CHAPELET-If this is not a miracle, let Doctor
Sauriceau tell me what a miracle is.
Ev1ANs—Patience, good Doctor: let us look at the other
side of the cards. When the babe was put into the hands of
the venerable Fathers, one of them, as if to satisfy himself
that he was dead, passed and re-passed his hand over his
face, which he thus deftly covered with a coating of ver-
million, then he placed the babe on a plate heated from
the under side, when the consequent heat, decomposing the
vermillion, coloured the infant’s cheeks, and the parents
thrilled with joy, and shouted Miracle, Miracle !
These clever operators had another means of raising the
dead. When the child had been laid on the altar, a co-
operator who was hidden in the interior, blew through a
tube placed in its bosom, and made some down that had
been put in its mouth move up and down so as to imitate
the movement of breathing. He breathes he breathes |
cried the attendants. The trick was played;—and large
was the pecuniary result.
DOCTOR CHAPELET-These are shameless calumnies
invented by the Protestants.
Ev1ANs—These, doctor, are, facts attested by history,
which does not lie, and which cannot be honestly denied.
I resume my statements, and I say that when resurrections
can be fabricated, much more easily may apparitions be
forged. I ask Aix-les-Bains to take up my words.
AIX-LES-BAINs—This is the manner in which you must
proceed if you resolve to have apparitions. First, you must
find free-thinkers to play the part of Miss Lamerlière.
17
That will be easy. As to Mathurins and Bernardettes
—that will be easier still : those innocent men and women
are found everywhere. At the most favourable hour in the
late evening, or the early morning, your Lamerlière appears
all of a sudden. . . She is clothed in white, her girdle is of
azure blue, a crown of lilies is on her head, a chaplet in her
hand. Add Bengal lights of various colours and well man-
aged; and there you have the materials for as many appa-
ritions as you like. I had forgotten an essential element.
You must have your Mathurins and Bernardettes, who readily
shake and quake in all their members. Be not afraid, my
dear little friends, says Lamerlière in the gentlest accents;
be not afraid, I am the Miraculous Conception : Go and
tell the parish priest that I bestow my benediction on this
mineral fountain, and add that the day is at hand when the
Duke of Chambord will ascend the throne of his fathers.
Go, my children, and carry to him for me this chaplet, and
tell him to lose no time in building a handsome and well
endowed chapel near the fountain.
The two little innocents went straightway to the reverend
gentleman, and reported to him what the Virgin had said to
them.
Are you not mistaken, my young friends? said the priest
to them.
Oh no reverend sir.
Doubtless it is some one who is trying to mock me.
Oh no it is the Virgin herself. -
How did you know her?
She is so like the image of her in the church—only so
very beautiful; her robe was so white; her girdle so blue;
and then the crown of lilies on her head. O, reverend sir, it
was so heavenly.
Well, it looks as if true.
Nay, it is true. Besides, she was in the centre of flames
of all colours, yet untouched by the fire, and Oh, so lovely,
so angelic, so like our own Mother of God.
And she told you that she blessed the mineral fountain?
Yes, reverend sir, and bad us tell all to you, and to give
you this chaplet.
Raise your hands and say, We Swear it is true.
B
I 8
We swear it is true, reverend sir.
Did she say anything about building a chapel P
O dear, yes, we forgot that.
Take care what you say, for if you lie you will go to hell.
There is no fear of that; and it is a very beautiful chapel,
reverend sir, that you are to build.
Thereupon the parish priest, who believes in apparitions of
the Virgin, on Episcopal authority, and who foresees various
advantages to ensue from the pilgrimages to come, revels in
the prospect of large Congregations and large income, and
plenty of friends, especially among the great, hastens to his
bishop and repeats the momentous news.
The inmost sentiment of the bishop is doubt or disbelief.
He puts the priest through the sieve. The result is that the
matterlooks feasible to him. After all, a sacred fountain in
the diocese will do no harm. Any way, like My Lord
Tarbes, in regard to the Lourdes apparitions, he will consti-
tute a court of enquiry. There are free-thinkers abroad, a
pestilent race no doubt, but still there they are. Besides,
the appointment of the commissioners will be in his own
hands, and the result of a legal investigation will outlive all
opposition. The court sits; the innocents are brought before
it. They repeat their tale. In some particulars it is con-
firmed by the clerk of the parish. Most decisive, however,
is the proof afforded by a miracle, a miracle actually wrought
on one of the witnesses. The poor girl limped; she now
walks as well as the best. Rumours, too, are not wanting of
other miracles. The atmosphere grows warm. A number
of persons, among them a bishop and a priest, are more or
less committed to the truth of the story. Haste is becomingly
avoided. The commissioners assemble again after six weeks,
and find witnesses plentiful enough. They hear, they scru-
tinise, they distinguish, and at last, after an interval of four
months, they decide and declare that the Virgin did unques-
tionably appear there and then as already described. The
miracle is proclaimed on the spot. The word is taken up in
one diocese after another, half envious of the good fortune
of its neighbour. At length it reaches Paris, where it is con-
firmed by the great literary authorities. Veuillot, Janicot,
and Coquille undertake to write it up in the religious news-
I 9
papers, and earn a success all the easier because they are
accustomed to the task and cannot afford to fail.
Soon a splendid chapel arises near the Sacred fountain,
which forthwith becomes a plentiful source of miraculous
cures. The cures are the more numerous and astounding
because the new lake, if petty, is a mineral fountain, and so is
able to compete successfully with Lourdes and la Salette.
Accordingly, its evening cures are morning miracles, whose
sound goes forth into all lands, and even moves the phleg-
matic Englishman. Yea, echoes reverberate so loud and so
vividly in the dingy, hard, damp, and unbelieving borough
of Salford, that in the unpropitious spot there is found a
bishop bold enough to take on himself without authority the
consecration of all England to the worship of the Sacred
Heart of Jesus. If after this powerful appeal Britain does
not yield to Rome, it is a pity that the Spirit of the age does
not allow the use of arguments of another kind to overcome
her inveterate and guilty obstinacy. (Bravos from many of
the seats.) *
THE HOTEL-KEEPERs—We will take upon ourselves all
the costs of getting the train on the line.
A MEDICAL INSPECTOR-In the name of my colleagues,
I formally oppose these apparitions. You ask me why? I
reply, where miracles are, doctors die.
DOCTOR CHAPELET (addressing the fountains)—Act,
ladies, act, but be on your guard against Veuillot.* If you
have no miracles he will blow on your apparitions, and they
will melt away like Snow under a sun of early spring, and
will cover you with shame and confusion; as he has done
for the free-thinkers who have dared to deny the miracles of
Lourdes and la Salette. But for him those two miraculous
apparitions, which are the hope of conquered France, and
the Solace of the persecuted church, would have sank into
congenial darkness. (Smiles on all sides.)
BAREGES—What have we to do with your Veuillot? and
since we are in a struggle, let us struggle on ; in days of
battle an arrow is made out of any wood. If we can beat
* The rabid Ultramontane advocate and principal editor of “L’Univers,”
who is the lay pope of popedom, and more infallible than His Infallibility
himself, the Scourge of heretics, and the dread of orthodox papists.
2O
*
our two rivals with their own weapons, let us make use of
them. Any way, the Sons of Loyola cannot blame us.
Nevertheless, while admiring Aix-les-Bains' plan of Cam-
paign, I see certain difficulties in the way of its execution.
Suppose that the trick should be found out. . .
AIX-LES-BAINs—Well, that of Miss Lamerlière was found
out, though put beyond doubt by official judges and denoun-
ced to the indignation and contempt of the faithful by a
cardinal. The detection, however, did not impede the success
of la Salette. Besides, I know another way of getting up
apparitions. (Several voices—tell us it, tell us it.)
AIX-LES-BAINs—Out of our free-thinking lady, of whom
we made a Lamerlière, we can make a cataleptic. She comes
to ask of one of us her cure, at the moment the visitors, Our
clients, have gone away home. She sets herself to learn what
the Bernardettes and the Soubeyrous saw at Lourdes and
other places. Capitally does she get up her part. The
moment she drinks the water she faints, and faints so ter-
ribly that the operators think she is on the point of death.
People hurry to her aid. They will take her into privacy.
Leave me here ! she exclaims, O yes do, do leave me here,
I am so happy. Gracious heavens, what do I See? . . . .
Oh, how she smiles on me.' And then how lovely she is.
Who art thou, beautiful madam P. . . . . . I am the Immacu-
late Conception. The work is accomplished. The resolution
is made. The operators see nothing, hear nothing. Never-
theless, her words are oracles, yes; the invalide is favoured
with a celestial vision. The scene is repeated several times.
Rumour, with her hundred tongues, is busy all around.
Crowds rush to the spot where the apparition was seen. Our
cataleptic of a sudden bursts into ecstacies of delight. Her
whole frame quivers and vibrates. Then in a shriek rather
than a shout, or rather a quasi inspired scream, she cries
aloud: The kind Virgin has healed me, and has ordered me
to tell you to build a chapel in her honour—here, near this
fountain, and to invite the world, yes, the world, to come
here and drink and bathe, and be well, sound, happy. The
parish priest, moved by the extraordinary scene, carries the
news to his bishop. Needless to say what will take place.
It will be Lourdes and la Salette over again.
2 I
DOCTOR CHAPELET (foaming with indignation)—And do
you really believe that such a trick would escape detection?
This moment I hasten to report all this to Veuillot. You
will soon have news from him. (He thursts his head into
his hat and quits the assembly, chanting “Ave Maris Stella.)
The waiters take up the strain, and sing the celebrated
Cantique of the Lourdes' pilgrims:—
|Un, deux, trois,
Vive le roi!
Trois, quatre, cinq,
Vive Henry Cinq I
Which may be freely rendered thus:—
One, two, three,
Chambord, Chambord for me !
One, two, three,
The Pope and he agree
Four, five, six,
Thiers is in a fix *
Eight nine, ten,
The ancient race again?
One, two, three,
Henry V. for me !
Chorus,
Four, five, six,
Thiers is in a fix .
One, two, three,
Chambord, Chambord for me !
DOCTOR CHAPELET, after having gone a few paces, returns
into the assembly, and says: Mr. Laserre has offered to give
5oo pounds to any one who will prove that the Lourdes
waters do not effect miracles.
THE MEDICAL INSPECTOR OF BAGNERES-DE-LUCHON-
My brother, go and say to Mr. Laserre that we are ready to
bring to him at Lourdes four gouty subjects, four deaf and
dumb, and four blind people; if the water of the sacred
fountain cures them, we undertake to pay to his Reverend
* This vulgar phrase is a characteristic of the pilgrims.
22
Lordship of Tarbes twice 5oo pounds. We also undertake
to proclaim by thousands of voices, through the newspapers,
the reality of the apparitions, and our testimony alone will
be worth more than all the interested attestations of their
reverences. Those attestations fill their purses, our testi-
mony will empty ours. (Bravo!)
DOCTOR CHAPELET-Miracles are granted to faith only,
and you are only wretched infidels, unworthy to be witnesses
of the divine power. I hand you over to Veuillot’s mercies.
(He leaves the assembly.)
THE LADY-PRESIDENT CAUTERETS-Time presses; let us
return to the apparitions.
VERGEZE—I formally oppose it (numerous tokens of
astonishment), for the reason that apparitions do not grow in
Protestant soil. My sisters, while each of you would have
your apparition, I, the princess of water for the table, I,
celebrated for my mineral draughts and mineral soups, should
be left altogether deserted. *
CONDILLAC–You are mistaken, Vergèze; you would be
the greatest favourite of us all, believe me. His Lordship
Bishop Plantier would be eager to bear witness, in his
pastoral letters, that the Virgin has appeared in connexion
with your mineral Soups and your mineral draughts, in order to
convert the Protestants, in the midst of whom you live; and
when the latter shall see gathering around you the Auvergnats
in their clogs, the Provençals in their half-boots, in company
with such reputable people as the Cabrières, the Alzons, the
Chaurands, and the Baragnons of your own neighbourhood,
those shy Huguenots would know how to extract money out
of their pockets, and you, who live the life of a recluse, on
a plain bare of verdure as one's hand, you, I say, would, like
Lourdes, see yourself surrounded with country houses without
number. Now you are nothing, then you would be some-
thing indeed. -
VERGEZE (after a moment’s consideration)—No longer do
I stand in the way of apparitions.
BALARUC—But I oppose them decidedly. (Signs of as-
tonishment on the part of the fountains, signs of approval on
the part of the physicians.) I set my face against them,
first, from conscience, and secondly, from a regard to our
23
dignity. I say from conscience, because we must not our-
selves do what we condemn in others. Unless with the
Jesuits, the end does not justify the means; and whatever
peril the sharpers of Lourdes and La Salette may occasion
us, I prefer honourable ruin to disgraceful prosperity.
Besides; what Aix-les-Bains proposes is not easy of execution.
And this is clear, since it is not without much trouble, and
though Veuillot did his best, that two apparitions have
been fabricated. How then could we get up a hundred,
when we have against us all the anti-clerical journals, with
the “Univers Religieux’’ into the bargain P Our dexterities
would soon be discovered. Then no longer should we be
sacred fountains, sources of miraculous grace. What do I
say ! We should for ever compromise our character, and
our two rivals would, in the eyes of the multitude, be in respect
to us what good money is to bad. In wishing to bring them
into discredit, we should have taken pains to ruin ourselves.
(Profound silence.)
LAMALOU—After having listened to Balaruc, my opinion
is, that since we must die, we had better prepare ourselves
to pass off the stage worthily, like the Roman Senators of
old, waiting, as they did, for the Gauls, our ancestors, in
their curule chairs patiently. (Prolonged groans.)
A WAITER—Although I am only a waiter, I would like,
if permitted, to say a few words. (Go on I Go on 1) I have
waited at Lourdes, in the Hotel des Pyrénees, during more
than four years. I was in that village at the moment when
the apparition of the Holy Virgin to Bernardette Soubeyrous
was first talked about. While the priest was busy with the
miracle, this is what was said aloud at Lourdes, in private as
well as in public houses, beer houses, and restaurants; be
assured, gentlemen and ladies, that I shall repeat only what
I heard and what I have repeated to others:—
Bernardette Soubeyrous was one day in the fields, collect-
ing, Says His Lordship de Tarbes, stealing, say mischievous
tongues, wood on the property of Mr. Lafitte, of Lourdes.
She was in company with two girls older than herself, worth-
nothings, if ever there were any, for since then they have
been brought before the justices and now they are on the
streets. While they were collecting or stealing wood, they
24
found they were discovered. They took to their heels—
excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I am not skilled in polite
language, I have never been at the village school. (From
all sides, Go on I Go on 1) The two oldest of the girls fol-
lowed the banks of the river Gave, as far as the grotto, which
till then had served as a shelter against the rain. They did
not go in, but, doubling their pace, they disappeared. As
to Bernardette, less quick of foot and less robust than the
others, she entered the grotto, her heart full of alarm, her
eyes tingling intolerably. The grotto, ladies and gentlemen,
is not like other grottoes; its interior has something fantastic
about it; for while it had not, as now, lighted candles at full
noon, you would say that some One had hung lamps of some
sort to the vault, so clear was the atmosphere. A gentleman
of very good appearance, and whom I waited on at table,
speaking of the miracle (for at first people talked of nothing
else), said that the fairy aspect of the grotto came from
luminous effluvia of the Gave, which were curiously reflected
on its sides.
However, Bernardette was not at her ease in the grotto.
Far from that; as I have said, her eyes were all of a tingle,
and she saw double, triple, fourfold. In short, when she
left her hiding place she was half dead, and said to whoever
would lend her a hearing that she had seen something, but
what it was she would not tell. People are curious at
Lourdes—where are they not? And so that something
everbody wanted to know ; and the closer the girl kept her
truth, the more intense the curiosity became. The thing
was so much spoken about, that at last it came to the ears of
the police, who, you know, have an ear and an eye every-
where. Mr. Jaconnet, the head police officer of the district,
was led to put Bernardette through a series of questions
more than once. All he could get out of her was, I saw
something. “Well, what was it you saw—was it a man, a
woman, a cow, a pig, what? The only answer was, I saw
80mething.
To similar questions three days after, she replied, I SAw
THE VIRGIN.
I must tell you, gentlemen and ladies, that a woman, of
whom I will say neither bad nor good, had got hold of
25
Bernardette, and made her sleep in her own bed. Her
father, annoyed at her absence, claimed his child, and it is
generally believed that it was that woman who put seeing
the Virgin into the girl’s head. At first the clergy don’t
seem to have believed anything of the kind. But lo! it
was with that something as it is with a snow ball, which the
farther it goes the bigger it is. At last the clergy took the
affair in hand, and straightway Lourdes had its apparitions,
no less than Salette. One thing has not been sufficiently
observed—a thing which has been forgotten and which at
least our honourable lady-president must know—it is that
Bernardette, a short time after the apparition, went to Cau-
terets, and asked for cure from its waters, for she had fallen
ill. A gentleman of high character, who had heard of her,
sought an interview. He found her unintelligent, beaten
down in spirit, reserved. How is it, my child, asked he,
that you come hither? Why should you come to Cauterets,
when you have been honoured with the benedictions of the
Holy Virgin at Lourdes P. The only answer was a signifi-
cant Smile. Once on the line, the story travelled fast and ſar.
You should have seen the crowds that flocked to Lourdes
from all sides. It seemed as if to rain visitors. My master,
and he not alone, rubbed his hands with joy; every day was a
fair day. I do not enter into particulars with which you
may be acquainted, and which the newspapers have made
‘public property, but there are certain parts that are within
my own knowledge, and which possibly you may be ignor-
ant of. If you permit me, . . . (From all sides—Go on
Go on 1) Sometime ago the pious people of Peyrehorade
got the idea that they would carry in procession the Virgin
on a visit to that of Lourdes. On their return, the bulk of the
pilgrims arrived at the nick of time for taking the railway;
but their Virgin, being too late, was forced to remain for the
following train. (Laughter.) Accordingly, a joker said:
To-day I have witnessed a miracle. What and when | That
of the Virgin who has paid us a visit.
Miracles wrought at Lourdes are talked about everywhere
except at Lourdes. Here is one which occasioned no Small
merriment:—A lame man, on hearing of the cures effected
by the marvellous fountain, arrived at Lourdes by the aid of
26
his crutches. In presence of a large and curious crowd,
they plunged his legs into the sacred water. How do you
find yourself? enquired the priests that superintended the
operation. Well, very well, I am cured, quite cured? They
remove his crutches, and without losing a moment, they
carry him in triumph to the station in the midst of the
acclamations of the populace, who shout, A miracle 1 A
miracle ! He was placed in the station a moment before
the train started. A servant shouted, Take your tickets
Take your tickets The ex-impotent man rises, takes a
step, falls, and falls again, when he shouts, Where are my
Crutches? Give me my crutches. (Loud laughter on all
sides.) They lift up the poor invalide, carry him to the
hospital, and his state is found to be worse than ever. None
the less are his Crutches suspended under the roof of the
grotto of Lourdes. Since I have got to the crutches, I
should like, if permitted, to say a few more words on the
point. (From all sides—Yes! Yes!) I will not speak of
all the Crutches I am acquainted with ; one must suffice.
The branch of the Lourdes Railway to Pierrefitte was not
complete. Soldiers whom Baréges had cured left in the
station-house at Lourdes their Crutches, which they needed
no longer. The station-master had them thrown into a
corner with others that had come into his hands. One day
they were seen by a missionary who conducted the services
in the chapel of Lourdes.
What are you doing with these crutches? said he to the
station-master.
Nothing—they are fit only for the fire.
Give them me.
Take them.
He took them, and hung them up to the vault of the
Lourdes grotto, as an unquestionable proof of the miracles
wrought by the miraculous fountain.
THE MEDICAL INSPECTOR DES FUMADES—Are people
allowed thus to play with public credulity P Are we then
back to the times of the auguries of pagan Rome?
THE WAITER—If those who trade on the sacred fountain
thus play the pilgrims bad tricks, they are sometimes repaid
in their own coin. A wandering Jew boy, whose arm was
27
wearied with fiddling in the way of business, went on a party
of pleasure to the grotto of Lourdes, and thursting his hand
into the waters of the fountain, he playfully cried, drawing it
out, I am cured I am cured The farce was discovered.
But our friends are too skilful to be thus disappointed. Cost
what it might, the cure should be a cure. As they could
not safely attach the cure to the son of Israel, they gave it
out that it was a Protestant that had been healed. Shortly
after the Protestant was more exactly described as an
Englishman; finally the Englishman became an Anglican
Ritualist; and he was not only healed, but converted.
Do you fancy, gentlemen and ladies, that this is believed
in Lourdes? Not a bit of it. Rather it is a good joke, at
which people laugh until they are red in the face, especially
when they have plenty of visitors.
A DOCTOR-Are there any physicians at Lourdes?
THE WAITER—There are now, as there were before the
apparition. The good folks of Lourdes, when ill, instead of
going straightway to the fountain, hurry to the medical men
and the apothecary. If they cough, they cover themselves
with Fayard paper ; if they are afraid of fever, they swallow
quinine pills; if they are troubled with stone, they drink Vichy
water; if they cannot sleep, they take a dose of nicotine ;
if they are rheumatie, they cover themselves with savage cat
skins in winter, in summer they go to the waters of Cauterets
or those of Baréges. They would laugh heartily if any one
ordered them to send away their medical men and apothe-
caries, and evil would befall them who should try to force
their invalides to have resource to the sacred fountain; for
they are people that would knock their Virgin to pieces, and
drive away with blows from crutches their miracle-mongers.
I ought to add, gentlemen and ladies, that if the something
seen by Bernardette Supplies them with crowns, it certainly
does not furnish them with virtues, for the question has
come from Paris to the chief magistrate of Tarbes, asking
how it was that since the appearance of the Virgin, the
people of Lourdes encumbered with their presence the hall
of the correctional police so much—a thing which did not
exist before. I should also remark that the consumption of
brandy and absinthe has increased fivefold, while attenders
28
on public worship have fallen off fifty per cent. There are
at Lourdes evilly disposed persons who sometimes take
leave to make remarks offensive to the officials of the chapel
and the dealers in Sacred toys. “How does it happen,”
they say, “that the clergy who found a million of francs
wherewith to erect a splendid chapel, hold out the offertory
bag to obtain contributions from the crowd of beggars, who
line the avenue to the grotto P. How comes it to pass that they
have not ducked into the sacred waters those blind bawlers
that come to us from all sides, and stun our ears with their
piteous appeals P What better means to get rid of them than
to restore their sight, so as by their reports to propagate
far and near the belief in the virtues of their miraculous
fountain P” One day, I remember it as if it were but yester-
day, a gentleman advanced in years and thoroughly respect-
able (he wore the Red Ribbon at his button hole) asked me to
accompany him to the grotto. For a long time, with his arms
crossed, he kept silent, then opening his lips, he said “my
poor dear France, these modern Demetriuses (Acts xix, 24)
will put an end to the little christianity you have left. They
have forsaken the fountain of living waters supplied in the
Gospel, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can
hold no water (Jer, iv, 13) in their legends and pretended
miracles. Accordingly, what sort of children do they make
of your sons and your daughters P Infidels or fanatics.
What will become of thee thyself? Ah hadst thou been
Protestant, never would the Prussian have trodden thy
sacred soil with his profane foot. Poor dear France
when wilt thou understand that to resume thy place in
the civilised world thou must throw off the Ultramontane
yoke, which is heavy and galling, and take that of Christ,
which will make thee free, prosperous, and noble.” He
said no more, and I saw tears burst from his eyes. Oh I I
did not know him, but I hold him for a good christian and
a wise patriot. If now it were permitted me to give advice
in this grave issue, I would ask of the inhabitants of Lourdes
a certificate that the something seen by Bernardette Soubey-
rous is nothing considerable, and that the water of their
sacred fountain has no more virtue than that with which
they make their soup and in which they wash their linen.
(Thunders of applause.)
29
SAINT-GALMIER—These are words of gold. Thanks, my
lad, thanks for thy suggestions. Who will undertake to
obtain this important certificate P (Several voices—Iſ Iſ)
BAGNERES-DE-LUCHON−The counsel is excellent; it has
but one defect: it is impracticable. It is not necessary to
know the weeds with which human nature is overgrown to
be assured that the inhabitants of Lourdes will never put
their hands to what they constantly say one to another: in
reality, the apparition of the Virgin profits those who do not
believe in it more than those who do. Before the Virgin and
Bernardette came on the carpet the people ate black bread,
to-day they eat white. Instead of going to a distance to find
a California for themselves, they have one at their own doors.
Hotels, inns, beer houses, coffee shops are never empty; and
you expect, do you, that, for pure love of truth, they would
reduce their sacred fountain to its old condition of Supplying
nothing but pure water? Look, if I was told to obtain from
them a certificate proving their disbelief, or to bid the Adour
flow from Bayonne to the lake de Gaube, I should persuade
the Adour sooner than I should persuade them. Do not let
us then attempt what is impossible. You would make
Tartuffe into an honest man sooner than you would Cure
Orgon of his folly. (Crying and sobbing on all sides.)
AN HOTEL KEEPER OF ČAurºrs ºthere remains only
one thing for me to do. I must demolish my hotel, and out
of its ruins construct one at Lourdes; and, in truth, I should
soon recover my losses by thoroughly plucking the pilgrims.
AN HOTEL KEEPER OF PLOMBIERES-That is easy enough
for you, who are only a few yards from Lourdes; but for
me, who am so many, many miles away, no
ALL THE HOTEL KEEPERs—We are all ruined.
THE WAITERs—We shall go and settle at Lourdes and
la Salette.
VICHy—(Vivid curiosity)—If I replied to the appeal of
Cauterets, it was solely from politeness; for the Competition
of our opponents does not disturb my sleep any more than
the conjuring box of a cheat disturbs the repose of a good
man of business. Nevertheless, I must admit that at the
commencement of last season I was not free from disquietude.
In the high and the low clergy, I said to myself, no one pro-
3O
tests against the affirmations of such writers as Lasserre and
Veuillot. Now, he who holds his tongue approves. Con-
sequently, I shall never see my Sacerdotal customers again;
those of the north will go to Salette, those of the south to
Lourdes; their absence will establish the miracles of our
competitors more than all Episcopal attestations; if they
abandon me, rich legitimist clients will also abandon me,
and I shall have nothing left but Jews, Huguenots, and Free-
thinkers; they too will escape out of my hands when, in a
thousand ways, they hear of the marvellous cures of the
sacred fountain. Not without reason was I then disquieted.
Accordingly, I kept my eyes open on the first comers.
Measure, if you can, my joy at the earliest view of the black
robe that I discerned on the horizon; but my delight was
supreme when I saw my swallows gather together in greater
numbers than in the preceding season. I have drawn up
a list; here it is :—
8 Superiors.
I Prior. *
124 Nuns of different denominations.
I Hospitaler.
134 Females.
Without assuming to be positive in the matter, I think
that these 130 nuns do not believe a word of the apparitions
and the miraculous cures trumpted forth by our newspaper
editors and our bishops. *
A PHYSICIAN-Those holy women live so far from the
world that they have never perhaps heard speak of them.
VICHy—That the news of social life does not reach them
I grant, but that fame has not carried to them the names of
Mathurin and Bernardette Soubeyrous, I must be allowed
positively to deny. I go on to read my list. II6 parish
priests, of whom one is from Rome (signs of surprise), Yes,
one from Rome, I cured him of the spleen, and he promised
to return this summer.
Io Canons.
3 Honoraries,
25 Priests.
20 Vicars.
3 I
3o Abbés.
8 Arch-priests.
20 Almoners.
6 Vicars-general.
5 Deans.
2 Missionary Abbés,
2 Directors.
I Superior.
I Chaplain.
4 Brethren of Christian Doctrine.
I Marist. -
I Capucin.
1 Father Hospitaler of Charity.
1 Very Reverend Father.
5 Seminarists.
3 Ecclesiastics.
I Curé, resigned.
I Deacon.
I Ignorantin Brother.
I have not exhausted my list; here is its Coronet.
I Apostolic Pronotary, His Lordship Andrew.
I Archbishop, that of Sens, His Lordship
Bernardon. *
4 Bishops: Lordships Collet, D'Oran, David
de Saint-Brieuc, Lebreton du Puy.
SAINT-LAURENT-DES-BAINS-You are in error, Vichy, His
Lordship Lebreton, who lives under the protection of a black
Virgin, and of another Virgin 52 feet in height, could not
inflict on them the injury of believing them less powerful
than your waters. You have mistaken another lordship for
His Lordship du Puy.
VICHy—Certainly not. It was he himself in person. But
of all the visitors that gladdened me by their presence, one
raised my pleasure to ravishment—guess who it was P. This
visitor came straightway from Grenoble, and is no less a
personage than His Greatness My Lord Poulinier, bishop of
that place and (observe) patron of the sacred waters of la
Salette. (Many exclamations, tokens of astonishment.)
THE CHRISTIAN DOCTOR-Your eyes misled you, Vichy.
32
A MEDICAL MAN–My brothers, his eyes saw clearly and
truly, as have mine. I have the honour to be sent for to
attend his lordship professionally,
AN HOTEL KEEPER—His lordship does me the honour
of being one of my guests.
A WAITER—His lordship has been so gracious as to give
me a chapelet consecrated at la Salette, as well as a medal
of the Virgin. (Laughter).
VICHy—If I have replied to Cauteret's appeal, it is solely
from politeness; for the danger which our rivals raise against
us lies nowhere but in our imagination. In effect, when My
Lord Poulinier has come, accompanied by his Secretary, to
drink my waters as a cure for his liver, who can doubt that he
does not believe in the efficacy of the waters of la Salette
and of Lourdes, any more than the free-thinkers of the Siècle
and the Rappel believe in the divine right of kings P. His
presence under my roof, that alone protests more strongly
against the pretended miracles of our competitors than that
of My Lord Dupanloup himself, had he come in company
with his colleagues of Nîmes, Poitiers, and the Very Honour-
able Gabriel de Belcastel. I say, then, that we may sleep
quietly on our own pillows; nevertheless, as prudence is the
mother of safety, and that it may not be said that we met
here, far from the eyes of the police, to waste our time, as is
too often done at Versailles, in empty discussions, I propose
that each hotel keeper shall send me the list of the ecclesi-
astics, the monks, and the nuns whom he has received as
guests. Out of all those lists we will form one. This we
will print and circulate by hundreds of thousands, and,
unless we have to do with a public of imbeciles, the tricks
of the associates of Lourdes and la Salette will be blown into
thin air. (Prolonged applause.)
MonTDORE–I vote for Vichy's proposal; but to render
our victory more complete against the Pharisees of to-day, it
will be well to turn against them the words, addressed by
Christ to those of old : “What they bid you observe, that
observe and do, but do not ye after their works, for they say
and do not” (Matt. xxiii, 3). Well, on the roads leading into
Lourdes and la Salette, we will erect posts on which we will
print in large letters the following inscription:—
33
POOR PILGRIMs, who ARE GOING TO SEEK HEALTH IN THE
SACRED WATERS OF LOURDES AND LA SALETTE,
DO WHAT YOUR PRIESTS DO, AND NOT WHAT
THEY SAY.
(Universal shouts of Excellent Excellent!)
SAINT-GALMIER—Montdore's plan is a stroke of genius,
I admit; but, unhappily, I have no more confidence in his
inscription than in Vichy's list, for we have to do with a
public that “ has eyes but see not, and ears that hear not,
neither do they understand,” (Matt. xiii. 13). Among a
thousand proofs of this, let me cite two. (Signs of attention.)
At Biville, a small village on the road from Rouen to
Dieppe, they every year celebrate the fête of Saint Onuphre,
the patron of the parish. From all sides people flock
into the place, each bearing a stick. Of the sticks they
make a heap. About four in the afternoon, a dozen priests,
clad in their finest Sacerdotal vestments, having behind them
a number of lame, halt, and blind persons, advance singing
toward the heap, on which they place a statue of Saint
Onuphre. After some minutes, during which they mumble
prayers, they remove the image and set fire to the wood.
Scarcely have the flames blackened the sticks when the
crowd throw themselves upon them. Happy, thrice happy
he who carries off one of the sticks; he may now sleep
in peace under his roof, without fearing the thunder and
lightning of the skies. It seems, quite natural that if
those peasants believed in the virtues of the sticks, each
of their houses would have a charred stick at its top to
carry off the thunder. Nothing of the sort. Our Normand
brothers have too near a view of their Saint to believe in
his alleged power. Nevertheless, they have avoided, and
not without reason, decrying their patron; when desirable,
they puff him off, but, like prudent people, instead of affix-
ing a stick on their house, they nail to the door an insurance
plate: “If our house catches fire, so much the worse,” they
Say; “but it will be re-built by a society, so much the
better,” they add.
C
34
A DOCTOR-And do not those insurance plates which
each pilgrim sees, open their eyes?
MONTDORE–No ; not more than their paratonnerre
Virgin opens the eyes of the Avignon people. If ever you
visit what was the city of the popes, you will see, in face of
the public garden, a colossal statue of the Virgin, gilded
from head to foot. When they placed her on her pedestal,
the priests put Avignon under her guardianship. Owing to
her powerful protection, the Rhone and the Cholera are kept
at a respectſul distance from the ramparts. And (who
would believe it P) they have placed that Virgin, who
laughs at the waters of the Rhone and the Cholera, under
the shield of a lightning conductor, the invention of the
heretic Franklin || |
Do you fancy that that rod of iron says anything to the
inhabitants of Avignon P Not more than a book says to
One who is without sight. Recurring to my subject, I
declare that we should not prevent a single pilgrim from
going to Lourdes or to la Salette, were we to distribute to
each Vichy’s list, and to cover with inscriptions the roads
to the miraculous fountains. Besides, would they not know
that the lists of the inscriptions came from us? They would,
be assured, have the fate of the mandate of Cardinal Bonald
and of the decision of the Grenoble tribunal. If we cannot
find other means for counteracting the deceits of our adver-
saries, let us resign ourselves to our fate, as a Grand Vizier
when his master sends him a “happy dispatch '' in a silk
rope on a plate of silver. (General wailing.)
LAMALOU—By all the gods of Olympus, if the rope ought
to be sent, it is not to us, but to your Lamerlières. I lose
my self-possession when I think that we are led by the nose
by quacks. -- .
THE LADY-PRESIDENT CAUTERETs, (in a plaintive voice)
—Ladies and gentlemen, all the means of Salvation that
have been proposed to us, if I may judge by the conster-
nation which I behold in your countenances, appear power-
less to prevent our ruin. The great wall of China falls to
pieces as the centuries increase, and every day detaches a
stone from the Colysaeum; we have seen powerful nations
disappear, and glorious dynasties become extinct. What
35
to-day basks in sunshine, to-morrow sinks into the shade.
Blood-suckers have lost their virtues; blood-letting its value;
why, after having had our days of greatness, should we not
have our days of decay ? But if we are to die, let it be
worthily, nobly. For myself, I prefer death to vegetating.
(A fearful cry of grief echoes round the vast amphitheatre;
the birds of night, Smitten with fear, take to flight; a dead
silence reigns in the assembly nearly ten minutes.)
EAUX-CHAUDES-Great evils demand great remedies. All
our trouble, you are aware, comes from the clericals. Over-
come to-day, to-morrow we shall be conquerors through
them. (Tokens of disbelief.) They shall themselves pay
the cost of the whip with which we will scourge them in
public, and that without pity, as Christ scourged the traffickers
in the Temple. (Fresh signs of disbelief.) Priests though
they are, none the less are they subject to the same infirmi-
ties as the free-thinkers. At present, under the penalty of
passing for miserable charlatans, the puffers of Lourdes and
la Salette cannot, as they have hitherto done, apply to the
virtues of our waters. In reality, if they believe, as they
proclaim, that their sacred waters effect miracles, with
greater reason must they hold that those waters have the
mastery over all the maladies that we mitigate more often
than we cure. Accordingly, it is quite natural that they
abandon us, and even that they bring us into discredit;
much more, if they are logical, they will ask of the State,
which had never greater motives for frugality than now, to
suppress, by one stroke of the pen, the faculties of medicine,
schools of pharmacy, hospitals, infirmaries. In effect, if
with a grain of faith in the Virgin, and a cup of sacred
water, you can remove the gout, and in a second cure what
medical science declares incurable, even with the aid of our
virtues, then all the physicians, Surgeons, and apothecaries,
with the suns of medical practice at their head, are so many
superfluities, who eat up a large portion of the national wealth,
without rendering any benefit which the already well paid
clericals could render without cost more effectually. (From
all sides—That is true.)
But if Veuillot and his fellow-workers do not believe a
word of what they affirm, doubt not that the first time they
36
have the colic, the first touch of the gout, the first wrench
of rheumatism, we shall see them, as in the past, hurry away
to our mineral waters, their only resource.
But then, ladies and gentlemen, let us be severe. If the
Bishop of Tarbes, Vichy, comes and ask you to relieve his
liver, say, My Lord, Lourdes is open to you; if the Bishop
of Vals begs you to put a stop to his intermittent fever, say,
Your Eminence, the lady of Salette will take the job in hand;
if the Bishop of Nîmes, la Raillière, prays you to cauterise
his throat, say to him, Your Greatness is said to patronise
the Sacred water of Lourdes; if great, 'fat, round-bellied
Canons, Contrexeville, entreat you to heal their bladders
and crush their stones, answer, Be off to Mount Salette;
if, finally, a squadron of Ignorantin Brothers supplicate you
to cleanse their filthy skins, say, Steep yourselves in your
own miraculous waters. My Sisters, my sisters, be pitiless;
doctors, close the doors of your consulting rooms to every
scribe of the Veuillot school; hotel keepers, when monk or
priest knocks at your door, bid the scullery-maid say to them,
You will find a bed in the hay-loft, or under the shining stars.
Will you act thus? Yes, promise me on your honour you
will. Lift up your hands. (All hands rise). Say, We swear
to obey thy instructions. (All : We swear to obey thy
instructions.)
EAUX-CHAUDES-In the great struggle that is about to
take place, we shall sleep on the field of battle. But I hear
a voice which says: The ecclesiastics will learn the reception
we are preparing for them, and will not return. That is an
error. If the love of lucre fabricates apparitions, sciatica,
lumbago, diseases of the spleen, cause miracles, no doubt
about it, our devout customers will return this summer as
surely as storks and Swallows return in spring. That will
take place, and we shall make use of mitres, Crosses, cassocks,
violet, black, grey, white; Cowls, Cagouls, guimpes, beguins;
in order to break through the enemy's walls. (Bravos burst
from all parts.)
BAGNERES-DE-LUCHON-I propose that we pass a vote of
thanks to Eaux-Chaudes. (A unanimous vote is taken.)
Fountains, medical men, hotel keepers, hasten to Shake
her by the hand and to offer her your congratulations.—The
sitting is suspended for ten minutes.
37
THE LADY-PRESIDENT CAUTERETS-I propose, now that
the sitting is resumed, that we appoint a commission of
three members to draw up, in clear and concise terms, all
the excellent things that the sense of a common danger has
called forth from Eaux-Chaudes for our rescue. (Several
voices—Name it yourself.)
THE LADY-PRESIDENT—Since you bid me, I appoint
Eaux-Chaudes, the Christian Doctor, and the Hotel Keeper
of Rheims at Vichy.—The sitting is again suspended, and
will not be resumed except at the moment when the com-
missioners shall lay their report on the table.—(To the
commissioners)—Be dispatchful, for the day draws near.
(Animated conversations take place, Eaux-Chaudes is sur.
rounded; Vals proposes to the fountains to establish a
Society to set up glass factories, and thereby to defeat the
coalition of the glass makers, who have advanced their
bottles from 20 to Ioo per cent. ; he starts a subscription
list, which is covered with signatures; the medical men
converse with each other, and ask if it would be advan-
tageous to found an insurance Society against medical and
surgical accidents; the hotel keepers and the servants, with
their arms crossed, keep silent). g
THE LADY-PRESIDENT CAUTERETS-Gentlemen, please
to take your seats. Here are the commissioners. (Eaux-
Chaudes hands a paper to Cauterets).
THE LADY-PRESIDENT CAUTERETS-Listen, gentlemen
and ladies, I am about to read the report. (Universal
attention).
SOLE ARTICLE.
From the date of this night the Fountains, the Physicians,
the Hotel Keepers, engage each to each on their honour;
the Fountains to refuse their waters, the Physicians their
advice, the Hotel Keepers their beds and their tables to all
those of the Roman Clergy who preach up the miraculous
virtues of the waters of Lourdes and la Salette.
I put this article to the vote.
MONTDORE—I wish to propose an amendment.
THE LADY-PRESIDENT CAUTERETs—Propose it; but be
not prolix, like Ernoul.
38
MONTDORE—I think that in adopting the article we act
against all the laws of war, and yet, if we ought to show our-
selves pitiless against the Pharisees, ought we to be without .
compassion for the tax-gatherers? Could we, without for ever
losing our repute for charity, see come to us Lords, Emi-
nences, Canons, Vicars, Capucins, Ignorantins—these gouty,
the others phthisical; those suffering in their liver, these in
their spleen—could we say to them rudely, Go to Lourdes,
go to la Salette, for it is owing to you that they are such
formidable competitors to us. For me, I should not have
the requisite courage; I should think myself guilty of
homicide.
VERGEZE—Well, I should have the courage to do so
beyond a question.
MONTDORE—I believe it, for at the bottom you are a
Protestant; but for me, I prefer the part of the good
Samaritan to that of the Levite. -
VERGEZE—You judge me ill, Montdore, I do not, any
more than you, desire to act the part of the Levite, but we
have a good opportunity for ascertaining whether we have
to do with brothers or dupes. I propose, therefore, that we
add to the vote these words: “Unless they sign with both
hands a declaration, attesting that they account those who,
for their own gains, work the waters of Lourdes and la
Salette—wretched Charlatans.” (On all sides—Approved,
approved. . . ) ---
URIAGE-I propose that the Franclieus, the Kerdrels, the
Baragnons, the du Temples, and all the conductors of reli-
gious pilgrimages make the same declaration, if they come
to ask of us healing or relief. After some discussion, Uriage's
proposal is adopted. -** *
CONDILLAC—And if Veuillot comes . . . .
THE PHYSICIANS—For him we wish bloodlessness, dia-
betes, Sciatica, gout, Scarlatina, the itch, the Scab, leprosy,
tic douloureux, Swelling of the liver, gravel, hooping cough
—all the maladies known and to be known ; if he wants to
rub himself let him do it with the holy chrism ; if he is
ordered pills, let them be made of the filth of the venerable
Labre; if he wants to bathe, let him betake himself to the
holy water basin. (Thunders of applause.)
39
THE LADY-PRESIDENT CAUTERETS-I propose that an
exact report of what we have done be put up in all our
establishments. (Approved.) •
THE HOTEL KEEPERS–The costs we take on ourselves.
(Very well.) -
A PHYSICIAN-I propose a vote of thanks to Our Lady-
President, who has directed our debates with the tact and
impartiality which so highly distinguish M. Grévy, and
which we wish for M. Buffet.
Thanks are unanimously voted to Lady Cauterets, and,
at the first morning's ray, the assembly breaks up, appoint-
ing to meet again in the Circus of Gavarnie, on the 15th O
April, of the Year of Grace 1874. -

THE ANTTI-P.A.P.A.I., LIBERA.R.Y.
NUMBER I., PRICE 6d.
MARY A. LAC O QUE,
- - AND THE - -
Yorship of THE SACRED HEART of Jesus.
PRESENTED IN TELEIR REAL CHARACTER.
- Translated with the permission of the Author, M. Louis Asseline,
- BY JOHN R. BEARD, D.D.
.
MAY BE HAD OF ALL BookSELLERs.
>
SHORTLY will, BE PUBLISHED
No. 3 of THE ANTI-PAPAL LIBRARY.
How DID WE COME BY THE REFoRMATION?
THE QUESTION CONOISELY ANsweRED.
By JOHN R., BEARD, D.D.