SPANISIE
CRITIC
QUERIS PEMINSULAM AMCENAME
UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN
LIBRARY
8372
ARTES
SCIENTIA
OF THE
2394
TCEROR
CIRCUMSPICE
REGENTLL IUBBARD
Men
業經​著​黑​業​霉素​響​響著​等
​--
:
. ܀
܆܆
*
NOWVIDA
ANYWAYNE
.
2. en
www.90W. !!
HALAMAN:
293239.183.3.
WAS . *
GRAN ::
.
.::
... yy.
42
WWW
WWW
**
12. W
WWW
COM
:*
WWW
kWh
wawak
BAS
SMS
wc
HEM
w W
www.
XXX
WA
KU
...
CX
:
WW*:
WWW
.:
-
www.
WA
is
...
WWW.
*
.
***".
...
.. www
*****
Wow
MW
..
WWW.
123
Www
WA
WWW
www.
w
WWW.
WWW.WAS
94:
MAS: WWW
***
w
.:
RE
.
13- TIS
..
*** i la
7.K 3*>.<
-
20
ME
--
20
***
.
Mr.
5
ds
Paul Rycaut Esg
of Smyrna
Revallo
si
late Conſul
Fellow of
Societies
the
20
A
THE
CRITICK
WRITTEN
Originally in SPANISH;
BY
LORENZO GRACIAN
One of the
Beſt Wits of Spain,
And Tranſlated into Englich,
By PAUL RYCAUT Eſq;
LONDON
Printed by T. N. for Henry Brome at the Gun
in St. Paul's Chutch-Yard, 1681.
*
“..
Ram Bk Room
Regent
LiL. Hattard
p
get - 1927
The Epiſtle Dedicatory
To the KING
4
T
nnel
May it pleaſe your Moft
Excellent Majeſty,
His little Treatiſe,
which was written
in my Youth,was
the firſt Fruits of
my Travels, and
ought to have been offered in the
Years of my Minority, when
perhaps it had looked much more
like my ſelf then it doth at pre-
ſent : But becauſe the Words
only are Mine, and the Sence
and Scope the Thoughts and
Con.
bi
A 2
The Epiſtle Dedicatory,
Contrivance of a Serious Don ;
the Subject will be liable to no
other Incongruity, then that
which is now comnion in the
World, where we fee Men
of Years and Gravity dreſſed
in the Hair and Faſhion of the
Youthful. But be the Attire
what it will, I am ſure the Sub-
ject, which is Morality, giving
Rules for a Vertuous and Pru-
dent Life, is ſeaſonable in all
Ages ;
and much more condu-
ducing to the common good of
-Your Majeſties Kingdoms, then
the ſwarms of Libels, and Sedi-
tious Pamphlets, which fill the
Piels; an are the Entertain-
· mints of fen wlio-are antoi
aud
The Epifle Dedicctory:
and at eaſe. It is want of true
Morality which makes Men
Cenſurers of others Actions,
neglecting in the mean time to
pry into their own : It makes
them Proud, High-minded, and
Boaſters, and gives their corfis
dence to arraign Princes, and
their Cabinet Counſels of Go
vernment ; whilſt in the mean
time they are ſo far from Ru.
ling their own little World with
in them, that they are inot able
to ſubdue a Paſsion, or mode-
rate that little, or untowardly
Member of their Tongue.But our
CRITICK, which ſuggeſts bet-
ter things , doch with tha Hu-
mility, which he teaches, appear
before
A 3
The Epiſtle Dedicatory.
before your Majeſty, being con-
ducted to your Royal Preſence
by the Interpreter, who having
received Encouragement by the
Gracious Eye, your Majeſty
hath been pleaſed to bellow on
his other Writings, doth with
greater Boldneſs, and yet with
due Reverence, tender this at
your Royal Feet, Praying al-
ways for the long Life of your
Sacred Majeſty, in which the
Peace, Proſperity, and Welfare
of your People is bound up; and
that God Almighty may, ever
Bleſs your Majeſty with Increaſe
of Honaut, Triumphjand greater
Exaltation of Glory, are the un
faigned
The Epiſtle Dedicatory.
faigned, and feryent Prayers
of,
&
Moſt Dread Soveraign,
Your MAJESTIES
Moſt Datiful Subject, and
moſt Humble Servant,
PAUL RYCAUT.
THE
THE
TRANSLATOR
TO THE
!
Reader
Hen I was about the Age of
Twenty, of which I had ſpent
Five in the Univerſity of Cam-
bridge, my good Father, who
was deſirous to beſtow on me a liberal
Education (though ihe youngeſt of his
Ten Sons ) and to improve me in all the
Languages which are common to Europe,
thought fit to ſend me to the Court of
Spain in company with my eldeſt Bro-
- ther, opbofe principal Buſineſs tbere was
to recover a Debt of One hundred thou-
Sand Pieces of Eight, which his Catholick
Majeſty
**
The Tranſlator
Majeſty owed unto my Father : The Dea
mand was unqueſtionable, for the Account
was liquid, and clearly ſtated by the
Councel of the Exchequer, and the King
upon their report, zoas pleaſed to give bis
own Royal Firm før confirmation of it,
and to make ſeveral Decrees for the Pay?
ment; but as the Proceedings in Spain
are always Dilatory, and the Kings Re-
venue moſt commonly Anticipated, fa our
private Pretenſions were forced to give
place to the more importunate Neceſſities
of the Publick, and after a year and
halfs Sollicitation, we were diſpatched
thence with a poor Auyda de coſtas, or
ſomething under the name of a Largeſs,
to bear our Expences, paid in Vellion, ar
the Baſe Copper Money of Spain. Since
which the Intereſt hath encreaſed without
either payment of it, or of the Principal,
though our King of Great Britain (whom
God preſerve) bath been graciouſly plea-
ſed often to recommend our caſe to his
Ambaſſadors fent to Madrid, and to make
To the Reader,
it one particular in their Inſtructions :
But all this being without effect, gave
me often cauſe to conclude, that it was
much better, and of more Security to have
a Mortgage on good Farms and Tenements
in England, then of honour to be a Cre-
ditor of the moſt Mighty and Potent Mo-
narch of both the Indies.
But I, who in the gaity of my Youth,
little regarded the Intereſt of Wealth,
leaving that care to the incumbence of my
pious Parents, attended wholly to the I™-
provements of my Mind ; and to that
end, not to looſe time, I ſtudied awhile
at Alcala de Henares, called in Latin,
Collegium Compluſenſe, where I had
the Horour to be eſteemed more for my
skill in the Latin Tongue, and my Facul-
ty in Poetry, then ever I had a Reputa-
tion for in my own Univerſity ; I there
applyed my ſelf eſpecially to learn the
Spaniſh Tongue, in gaining of which I
had something more then an ordinary ad-
vantage, by having no converſation with
Engliſh;
The Tranſlator
Engliſh; and then this Book of the
Critick being newly publiſhed and recom-
mended to me for being wrote by one of
the beſt Wits and Pens of Spain ; I was
eaſily perſwaded to read it over; the
Stile being ſmooth and pleaſant in the
beginning, gave me an eafie Introdu&tion
to it; but the remainder being more harſh,
and crabbed, I forced ney ſelf with ſome
difficulty to underſtand the fence and bit-
mour of the Author, fancying in the
mean time, that I was entred into thoſe
ſteep and thorny ways of Vertue, which
Critilo teaches, and from which no diffi-
culties ought to divert, or diſcourage a
Wife and a reſolved Perſon. When I had
once read it, I was ſo pleaſed with the
Subject, that I was willing to try how it
would run in Engliſh; which being finiſh-
ed, I was infinitely pleaſed with the Work,
both for the Argument, which is Vertue, co
Morality, and for my own improvement
by the Tranſlation ; for it had almoſt
made me a Maſter of the Spaniſh Tongue.
How-
To the Reader.
Howſoever, as our greateſt Enjoyments,
and things which pleaſe our Minds moſt
at firſt, grow dull, and diſreliſhing with
time; ſo theſe beloved Papers were neg-
lected, and thrown by me whilſt I had
occaſion to travel the World; for I was
afterwards in Italy, and there I embarked
on the Fleet under command of General
Blake, and was preſent at the bur ing
of nine Turkish Ships, and batter
ng
the
Caſtles at Porta Farina, near Tunis; I
alſo ſpent about two years in the Low
Countries, when his Majeſty reſided at
Bruxelles ; after which having the Eun-
ployment of Secretary to the Earl of
Winchillea at Conſtantinople for ſe-
ven years, and Subſequent to that of
Conſul at Smirna, for the ſpace of eleven
more, I nous fo taken up with the Thoughts
and Buſineſs of that Country, that I had
no leiſure to remember, or refle&t upon my
little Critick. But now, being by Gods
Providence returned to a more quiet, and
repoſed life in my own Country, and tumbling
one
į
The Tranſlator
one day over my old Memoires, theſe Pa-
pers caſually offered themſelves to my
hands,torn and worm-eaten with bad Ink,
and in every manner ill treated.When I ſaw
them, I preſently knew and owned them, re-
calling them to my mind and acquaintance,
and with much eagerneſs and delight i
read them over, bei auſe they lively repre-
ſented to my Memory and Fancy the Ver-
dures of my Youth, which I found to be
over affectionate to words, and Roman-
tick expreſſions ; howſover I obſerved,
that I kept cloſe to the ſence, and that I
was as faithful even in thoſe years to the
Author whom I tranſlated, as I was to the
Charge, and Intereſt which I afterwards
undertook. And though in my late per-
uſal of this Book, I have ſuffered it to
paſs with little alteration, that ſo it might
appear more like to a Product of my Youth;
yet having now ruminated with more ſe-
rious, and mature reflections, on the ſub-
je&t of its diſcourſe, then I was capable
to do formerly, my Fudgment tells me that
this
To the Reader.
3
this Treatiſe is neither misbecoming my
preſent years, nor unſeaſonable to the pre-
ſent times. It begins like a Spaniſh No-
vel, placing the Scene of Diſcourſe in the
Ocean,and in the Iſle of St. Helen, where
a Man is ſtrangely figured to have been
encloſed in the darkneſs of a Cave , and
fed by Beaſts, until he arrived to ſome
maturity of age; which is purpoſely de-
ſigned to introduce the Notions, which a
Man may by the mere light of his immate-
rial Soul, without Sight, or Converſati-
on, conceive of a Deity, and of his own
Being. Then he Fancies, a Whirl-wind
or Hurricane to break open the Cavern of
this natural Man, and all on a ſudden to
repreſent a new Scene to bim of Heaven,
and Earth, and Sea ; and then he ſtrives
to expreſs the Extaſies of his Soul, and
tbe ſtrange Conceptions he muſt entertain
upon the view of ſuch different Obječts :
Thence he deſcends from the Natural to
the Moral World, drawing a Scheme of
the Follies and Vanities of it, in order to
ܪ ܐ
The Tranſlator
a true regulation of Life, builded on the
Foundation of Morality, and Vertue
. I am
of opinion, that the Author of this Book
might originally have deduced his fancy
from the Hiſtory of Hai Ebn Yokdhan,
wrote in Arabick by Ebn Tophail, and
Tranſlated into Latin by Dr. Pocock ;
and though there is much difference in the
relation of one, and the other, yet the de-
ſign of both is almoſt the ſame, being only
to show how far the Spiritual and Immor-
tal Soul of Man, is able in its natural
capacity, and by its own reflex acts to con-
ſider its proper being, and the exiſtence of
ſomething above it; and by degrees, and
ſteps of exteriour Objects to proceed unto
Rules for conſervation of its own well-
being, and that of others. The Subje&i
of this fancy being much affected and en-
larged by Arabians, it is probable that
from them it was derived to the Moors,
who have the ſame Language with little
diverſity of Dialect, and accent common
together : And the Spaniards, who for
tbe
ܪ
To the Reader.
the ſpace of 600 years had the ſame
Country and Manners with Moors, eaſily
received their Faſhions, Learning, Pro-
verbs, and every thing but their Religi-
on : So that as their Cuſtoms and way of
living are different to other Nations of
Europe, and moſt reſemble that of the
Eaſtern Countries; fo their way of wri
ting in Dialogues and Novels is much af-
ter that manner, and is as well pleaſant
and diverting in it ſelf, as it is curious
to us who follow another form,and manner
in all our Books, and Treatiſes of Philofo-
phy. And thus, Reader, having given thee
ſome intimation concerning the ſubſtance
of this Book; the occaſion on which it
was tranſlated; and the Reaſons, why
after ſo many years, it came to be pube
liſhed. I leave thee to a porufal of
it, which I beſeech thee to do,with the ſame
candour, which is to be allowed to the
Works of Youthful Fancies. Farewel.
THE
眾​號
​THE
Spanilh Critick:
The Spring of Childhood, and the
Summer of Youth.
The Firſt CRISIS.
Critilo being Shipwrackt, weets with
Andrenio, who renders a ſtrange Aca
count of himſelf.
>
OW both Worlds had killed the
Feet of Catholick Philip their Uni-
verſal Monarch: and the Circle of
N
his Royal Crown, the greateſt ftage
the Sun runs both in the one and
the other Hemiſphere : within
whoſe Cryſtaline Center lies enameli'd a ſmall me,
or Pearl of the Sea, or Eſmerald of the Land : to
B
which
2
The Spaniſh Critick.
which the Auguſt Empreſs gave it her own Name,
that it might be Queen of all other Iſles, and Crown
of the Ocean. This Iſle of St. Helena ( for ſo it
is called ) in the paſſage from one World to the
other, yields refreſhment to the grand Cargaſon of
Europe, and hath always been a Free-Port, preſer-
ved by Divine Providence between thoſe immenſe
Gulfs to afford entertainment for the Eaſtern Catho-
lick Fleet.
To this place a Shipwracked perſon endeavor'd
to make his Port, who ſtriving with the Waves and
contending with the Winds, but more with his
own ſad diſaſtures, a Monſter of Nature, and of
Fortune, a Swan in his Hoarineſs, and Voice, ſink-
ing on his Plank, between the fatal Medium of Life,
and Death, thus complained. O Life! thou
ſhouldſt never have begun, but ſince thou haſt, thou
ſhouldſt never end: there is nothing more deſired,
nor yet nothing more frail, than thou art, and he
who once looſeth thee, too late ſeeks to recover
thee; for ever after I eſteem thee for loſt : Na-
ture hath ſhewed her ſelf a Step-mother to Man,
denying him a ſenſe to rejoice at
Life. his Birth , and yet to fill him with
ſad apprehenſions at his Death : to
make him unſenſible of the good he receives at his
Beginning, and yet to affright and torment hin
with a Combination of Miſchiefs at his End. O
Tyrant ! a thouſand times more cruel than Huniane
Nature is capable to be, who firſt through a ſcan-
dalous temerity truſted his Life to this inconſtant
Element on no better fupport than a frail Veſſel;
They ſay his Breaſt was covered with
ili robur Bus
triplex circa
Steel, but I think it was doubled with
petus erat,&c. Iron. In vain hath the Supreme Pro-
vidence
1
?
The Spaniſh Critick.
3
vidence ſeparated Nations with Seas and Mountains,
ſince Humane boldneſs hath found a Bridge to
tranſport its Malice. Whatſoever humane Induſtry
hath invented, hath been unfortunately retorted to
its own deſtruction. Gun-powder, that horrible de.
vourer of Lives, hath been an Inſtrument of great-
eſt Ruine; and what other is a Ship, but a Coffin
to anticipate the solemnities of Death. The Land
ſeemed too narrow a Theater to act the Tragedies
of Death, until man found ways to triumph on the
Seas, and find a paſſage to his fatal Deſtiny through
both Elements. By what other means needs unfortu-
nate Man ſeek to periſh, than in the Hull of his own
Ship, which like a Scaffold ſeems erected for puniſh-
ment of his boldneſs: With Reaſon did Cato eſteem
amongſt the three Follies of his Life, his embark-
ing to have been the greateſt. O Fate! O Hea-
vens! O Fortune ! though I would perſwade my
ſelf that I were ſomething, yet ſo doſt thou purſue
me, that when thou beginneſt, thou knoweſt no
end but mine. O! that now it were poſſible for
me to be nothing, that I might diſclaim that Be-
ing, which is confined with Eternity.
In this manner he beat the Air with Sighs,
whilſt his Arms rowed the Waters, accompanying
his Art with Induſtry , he ſeemed to riſe above the
reach of danger; for Perils do both fear and re-
fpect great Perſons, whom Death it ſelf is foine-
times ambitious to ſpare, and Fortune ſeeks occaſi-
ons to advantage. Thus the Serpents ſpared Al-
cides, the Tempeſts Cæfar, the Sword Great Al x-
ander, and Bullets had no Commiſion for Charles
the Fifth. But alas! how Misfortunes are enwreathed,
one is but the Introduction, or but the Parent to
another; for when he thought to reach the ſecure
Boſom
t
B 2
4
The Spaniſh Critick.
-
Boſom of our Common Mothers, he then began to
apprehend new fears, leſt the enraged Waves
ſhould daſh him againſt the Rocks, which were as
hard, as his Fortune was cruel; the Earth too catched
at by his hands, crumbled between them, and tantali-
zed his hopes, when his Life ſeemed almoſt ſecured;
there being neither Water in the Seas, nor Earth on
the Land,to aſiſt the Miſerable. Thus foated he be-
tween both Elements, in the Medium between Life,
and Death, made a Sacrifice of his own Fortune :
when a ſprightly Youth, an Angel in his Appea-
rance, but much more in his Actions, ſtretched
forth his Arms to encloſe him , attracting him as
the ſecret Virtue of the Loadſtone doth the Iron,
and ſecuring his Happineſs together with his Life:
And being now in Safety on the Shoar, he
firſt kiſſed the Earth, and caſting his Eyes up
to Heaven, he gave thanks for his Deliverance;
and then returning to the Reſtorer of his Life
with open Arms, endeavoured to gratifie him with
Embraces, and Acknowledgments; but he that had
thus obliged him by Deeds, could not anſwer him
with Words, but only gave demonſtrations of the
grand ſatisfaction he received at this accident, and
of an aſtoniſhed admiration, to ſee one ſo like him-
ſelf. The grateful Naufrague repeated the expreſ-
fions of his thanks, and ſeconded his embraces, ask-
ing him of his Health and Fortune ; to all which the
aſtoniſhed Iſander was filent; wherefore he varied
his Idioms, and tryed him with ſome other Langua-
ges, with which he was acquainted; but in vain,
ſince he was a perſon void of Speech; ſo that turn-
ing all into Signs and Actions, he ceaſed not to be-
hold,and admire him, mixing the extremes of Won-
der with Contentment. One might reaſonably
>
.
have
The Spaniſh Critick.
5
have helieved him to have been ſome incult pro-
duct of thoſe Woods, but that this land being
uninhabited by Mankind, could not be the native
Soil of Humane Race; belides the fairneſs and length
of his Hair, and the equal proportion of his Mouth,
was an argument that he was an European; the faſhion
of his Cloaths, or Garments, could yield no light to
any Conjectures, being no other than Nakedneſs the
Livery of Innocence. The Intelligent Naufrague rea-
foned with himſelf, whether he was deſtitute of thoſe
two Servants of the Soul, Hearing, and Speech ; but
his experience foon reſolved him in that, for he liſt-
ned to the leaſt noiſe, and by his ready attention
could ſo aptly imitate the voices of Beaſts, and
Chirping of Birds, with ſuch natural Propriety,that
he ſeemed better to underſtand Brutes than Men,
ſo prevalent is the force of Cuſtom, and Education.
From theſe ſenſitive Actions the vivacity of his Spi-
rit darted forth certain Rays, as through the twi-
light of Reaſon, the Soul labouring to low, that
where Education is wanting, Nature of it ſelf is
wholly rude and unpoliſhed.
The deſire of knowing each others Fortunes, and
Lives, encreaſed equally in both ; but the want of
a common Idiom, was that which envied them this
enjoyment ; for Speech is the grand effect of Ratio.
nality, and he that cannot Diſcourſe, cannot Con-
verſe. Speak, faith the Philoſopher, that I may
know you ; for the Soul doth in a noble
Hanner communicate it felf, by produ- Speecb.
cing the Images of what it conceives in
the Mind of him that hears, which is Properly to Con-
verfe: there is no preſence where there is not Diſcourle,
Hor cak ebey be termed Abfent, who communicate by
Writing. Thoſe Wiſe Sages live ſtill, though sead
B 3
2nd
.
6
The Spaniſh Critick.
and diſcourſe with us daily by their Immortal Vo-
lumes, and illuminate Poſterity with
Coxverſation. a continued ſource, and ſpring of
Knowledge. Speech is both necella-
ry, and pleaſant, which two, wiſe Nature always con-
joined in the Functions of Life: Converſation is
ever attended with Pleaſure, and thence is imme-
diately derived the important Affair of Knowing,
which Speech only can adminiſter. Wiſe Men by
Speaking beget others like themſelves, and by Con-
verſe, Knowledge is gently inſtilled into the soul.
Hence it is, that Men cannot live happily without
ſome common Language, both in reſpect of their
Neceſſity, and of their Pleafure. For ſhould two
Infants be caſt purpoſely into an Iſland, they would
invent a Language to Communicate, and Converſe
with each other; ſo that noble Converſation is the
Daughter of Diſcourſe, the Mother of Wiſdom, the
Eaſe of the Soul, the Commerce of Hearts, the
Bond of Amity, the Food of Contentment, and the
Employment of Humanity.
The experienced Naufrague being well aſſured
of the truth hereof, began immediately to teach
this ignorant Youth to exerciſe Speech, who
being both deſirous and docible, was very apt to
improve the flexibility of his Tongue : He began
by the Names of them both, calling himſelf Critilo,
and the other Andrenio, which fitted the ripe
Judgment of the one, and of the other, in his
natural Principles. The deſire of bringing thoſe
Conceptions unto light, which had ſo long inward-
ly been ſuppreſſed, and the curioſity of knowing
the truth of what lay clouded, and confuſed :in his
Underftanding, were ſtrong Incitements to the dom
cility of Andrenio; ſo that now he began to Pro-
nounce,
ܝ
The Spaniſh Critick.
7
nounce, then to Ask, then to Anſwer, and endea-
vouring at length to Diſcourſe, accompanied his
Words with Action, that ſometimes where his
Words began, his Geſtures ſupplyed the want of
other Expreſſions in the Concluſion. The Account
he gave of his Life, was in ſhort and abrupt Specches,
ſo much the more ſtrange, by how much the lets
underſtood; and oftentimes, where the improbabi-
lity of the matter could not gain Belief with Cri-
tilo, there he pretended to want a true Conception
of what he related; but when he had learned to
continue his Diſcourſe, and the number of his
Words were equal to the greatneſs of his Thoughts,
at the earneſt deſires of Critilo, who' afforded him
alſo ſomewhat of his aſlikance, began to ſatisfie him
in this manner. 1, faith he, neither know who I
am, nor who hath given me this Being,nor to what
End he hath given it me: which Que-
ſtion I often, without Words propo Natural Con-
fed to my ſelf, being as Ignorant, as ceptions of a
Curious; but ſince Queries are cauſed Being.
by Ignorance, I had little means to
reſolve my ſelf: yet ſo would I prove my ſelf with
argument, that I might, if poſſible, exceed my ſelf;
for as yet no affectation to any particular Good had
fo poſſeſſed me, but that withdrawing my Soulout
of Ignorance, I might reach the limits of my de-
ſires. Thou, Critilo askeſt who I am, and I de-
fire to know that of thee; for thou art the firſt
Man that until this day I have ſeen, in whom I find
my ſelf more perfectly delineated, than in the fi-
lent Chryſtals of a Fountain, which oftimes my
Curioſity carried me unto, and my Ignorance ap-
plauded;
but if you would be informed of the
moſt material ſucceſs of my Life, I ſhall relate that
В4
to
8
The Spaniſh Critick.
to you, which is niore ſtrange than long, or tedi.
ous.
The firſt time that I could take knowledge of
my felf, and form Conceptions of my Being, I
found my ſelf immured within the Bowels of that
Mountain, which though it hangs out beyond the
reſt, yet its height aſſerts its honour
Infancy. and eminency above the other Rocks.
There it was that I received my firſt
Nouriſhment from one of thoſe which you call
Brutes, but I call Mother, believing my felfto have
been born from her, and that ſhe had given me the
Being I am endued with. It is very agreeable (re-
plyed Critilo ) to natural Ignorance to ſtile Men Fa-
thers, and Women Mothers, from whom we re-
ceive Beneficence, in which manner, until now, you
eſteemed a Beaſt for ſuch; ſo the World in its in-
fancy called every Creature which was profitable, and
beneficial, by the name of Father, and at length
improved that to the title of God. So I, (pro-
ceeded Andrenio ) believed that Beaſt to be my Mo-
ther, which nouriſhed me at her Breaſts, and bred
me up amongſt her young Ones, which I eſteemed
for my Brethren,and as a Brute amongſt the Brutes,
we played and ſlept together. She often gave me
Milk from her own Teats, ſhared me part of her
Fruits, and Prey which ſhe brought for them. At
firſt I was not ſo ſenſible of that tedious Impriſon
ment, whilſt the interiour darkneſs of my Mind ac-
corded with the exteriour of my Body; and the
want of Knowledge alleviated the deprivation of
Light, though ſome confuſed glimmerings appear,
ed, which Heaven diſpenſed as times, through the
top of that unhappy Caverne.
But
1
The Spaniſh Critick.
9
But at length arriving at a certain term of Growth
and Life, I was on a ſudden ſurprized with ſuch an
extraordinary force of Knowledge, with ſo bright
a radiancy of Light, and Advertency,
that I began to make ſeveral reflexions The Light of
upon my own proper Being. What Reaſon.
is this, ſaid I? am I, or am I not?
for ſince I live, and know, and obſerve, I muſt have
a Being : But if I am, who am I? and who hath gi-
ven me this Being? And to what end hath he gi-
ven it me? If it be to remain here , it were
a high Infelicity ! Am I a Brute like theſe? No, for
I obſerve moſt apparent differences between us;
for they are covered with Hair, but I, as leſs fa-
voured of him, who gave me this Being, am Na-
ked, and uncloathed; beſides, I obſerved my whole
Body otherwiſe proportioned than theirs; I laugh,
and weep, they howl, and cry. I walk
ftrait, raiſing
my Face upwards, when they move bending with
their Heads towards the Eaith: Theſe were pal-
pable differences, and which obſervation admini-
îtred to my Undertanding. My deſire to come
out from hence encreaſed daily, and the endeavours
to fee, and know, as they are natural to every one,
ſo they were in me more than ordinarily violent,and
impatient; but that which troubled me moft, was
to ſee the Brutes my Companions, with a ſtrange
nimbleneſs to trip over the indigeſted heaps, en-
tring out, and returning in at their own pleaſure;
which I not being able to do, was ſoon ſenſible, that
that Priviledge and Liberty was denied only unto me.
I allayed often times to follow thoſe Beaſts,
and crawl o'er the Rocks after them, which lappay-
ed with the Blood, that ſtarted from my Fingers;
and I would have helped my ſelf likewiſe with my
Teeth,
17
10
The Spaniſh Critick.
Teeth, but all in vain, and to my prejudice; for I
commonly tumbled to the next Bottom, which I left
wetted with my Blood, and Tears : at my Voice
and Cries the compaſſionate Beaſts came running to
my fuccour, and dividing me a ſhare of their Fruits,
and Prey, moderated my Grief, and in part eaſed
me of my diſcontent. The want of my outward
Speech was ſupplyed by my inward Thoughts, and
Soliloques, and the Doubts, and Difficulties my ob-
fervation and curioſity, encountred, not being capa-
ble of being reſolved by my Judgment, ended in
wonder and admiration, but the confuſed noiſe of
theſe Seas, was a ſubject of my continued trouble,
whoſe Waves beat more violently againſt my Breaſt,
than thefe Rocks; but what ſhould I think of thoſe
affrighting Claps of Thunder, thoſe encounters in
the Air, whoſe Clouds diſſolved into Rain, as my
Eyes into Tears? But that which reduced me from
a perplexity of Mind, and Pangs of Soul even to
the very Agonies of Death , were certain Voices
which I heard from without, ſomewhat like yours,
which at a diſtance ſeemed more confuſed, but af-
terwards came by little and little more diſtinct and
articulate, which fo naturally affected me that they
left me not without ſtrong impreſſions in my Mind.
I well obſerved the difference of them from thoſe
of Beaſts, and from the uſual ſounds with which I
was formerly acquainted, which begot in me a ve-
hement Paſſion, to ſee, and know from whence
they proceeded, but being not able to attain there-
unto, I languiſhed in the extremes of deſpair, and
death; and though there were but few things into
which I could dive with my Thoughts, yet I have
neither wanted of them Diſcourſe, nor Meditation:
ape thing I can allure you, that I have often, and a
thou-
..
The Spaniſh Critick.
II
thouſand times entertained thoughts of the man-
ner and diſpoſition, ſituation, variety, and compo
ſure of theſe things according to the meanneſs of
my capacity, yet never could attain to the leaſt
ap
prehenſion of the manner, and order of this vari-
ous Compoſition, which we now fee, and ad-
mire.
This is not much ( anſwered Critilo ) for if the
Wits of all thoſe Men, which have been, or ſhall be
hereafter, ſhould unite in one, to trace the Artifice
of this Worlds Compoſure, and to conſider of its
Government, their Conſultations would come ſhort
of that Providence, which is required in its dire-
etion. But why do I inſtance in the Univerſe ?
ſince their art reaches not to the formation of the
leaſt Flower, or Fly; only that fupream Creator
hath found a Way, and Order to make a harmony
in Beauty and changeable Variety.
But tell me, that which I fo greatly deſire to
know, and hear from you, in what manner you came
forth from that tedious Priſon, that untimely Grave
of your Habitation, but eſpecially (if it be poſſible
for you to expreſs) what Thoughts, and Notions,
your admirable Spirit conceived, at your firſt en-
trance into Light, when you diſcovered, ſaw and ad-
mired the applauded Theater of the Univerſe. Hold
(faid Andrenio ) I had here need to take breath to
proſecute a Relation ſo ſtrange and pleaſant.
.
The
12
The Second CHRISIS.
The Grand Theater of the Univerſe.
Hey fay, that as ſoon as the ſupream Artificer
had accompliſhed the Compoſure of the Worlds
Fabrick; his next Work was to diſpoſe unto every
one his Order, and apart all kinds in their feve-
ral and moſt natural Stations. So he ſummoned all
Creatures from the Elephant to the Fly, and ſhew-
ing them the ſeveral diſtinct Regions, and Elements,
left the choice of all to their Free and voluntary E-
Jection. The Elephant anſwered, That he would
content himſelf with a Wood, the Horfe with a
Meadow, the Eagle with one of the Regions of the
Air, the Whale in the Ocean, the Swan in a Fiſh-
pond, the Barbel in the River, and the Frog in a
Pool." The laſt of all came Man, though the firſt
in Dignity, who to the Queſtion propounded, an-
fivered, that he could not content himſelf with leſs
than all, and that too ſeemed but little for his en-
larged deſires. This exorbitant Ambition ſtruck no
ſmall wonder to thoſe preſent, though it was ſoon
applauded by a flattering Sycophant, as a demand
agreeable to the greatneſs of his Mind; though by
one with better Judgment term'd the defect of his
de.
The Spaniſh Critick.
13
depraved corporeal compoſition. The füperficies of
this Globe ſeemed too narrow a confinement for
his enlarged deſires, until in queſtof Gold, and Sil-
ver, he found a way to undermine, and rip up the
Bowels of the Earth. His Pride makes him climb
to poſſeſs the Air by the lofty Pinacles of his Edifi.
ces, leſt his Ambition ſhould be ſuffocated, and
ftified in the lower Region. He compaſſes the Seas,
ſounds the Ocean, dives for Pearls, Amber, and Cor-
ral to nouriſh his Folly, and ſwell his Vanity. He
taxes each Element according to its quality to pay
him Tribute, the Air her Birds, the Sea her Fiſh,
the Earth her Beaſts, the Fire its heat, to entertain,
not to ſatisfie his Luxury. And yet, as if all this
were unfufficient, nothing can appeaſe his Com-
plaints of a Penurious Portion. O monſtrous Co-
vetouſneſs of Man! The Supream Creator took him
by the hand, See, faid he, and know, that I have
formed Man by my own Hands, for my Servant,
and your Lord, and like a King, as he is, pretends
to Govern all. But underſtand, O man, that this is
to be with your Mind, and not with your Belly as
a Man, not as a Beaſt. You ought to be lord of
all Creatures, and not å Şlave to them, they ought
to follow you, and not you attracted by them.
You ought to poſſeſs all with Knowledge, and Ac-
knowledgement, that is conteniplating in all theſe
Created Mirrours the Divine Perfections, making a
ſtep of the Creature to paſs unto the Creator. This
Relation of Prodigies, though a Leſon amongſt us
common to the meaneſt and moſt vulgar Capaci-
ties, was yet ſtrange, and unheard of to Andrenio,
who recovering himſelf from his deep Contempla-
tians thereon, and paſſionate Aſpirations towards
the Divine Ellence; began to proceed in this manner.
My
14
The Spaniſh Critick.
My ſleep, ſaid he, profecuting his former Dif-
courſe, was the ordinary paſtime of my hours, and
the chiefeſt eaſe of my Melancholy, and Solitari-
neſs: to that I inclined as a Remedy of my Diſcor-
tent, when one night ( for all to me were ſuch) a
more than ordinary deadneſs of ſleep poffefled me,
an infallible Preſager of Evil; and ſo it was, for ſtart-
ling from my Slumber, awakened by the vehemency
of a Guſt, burſt from the deepeſt Caverns of yon-
der Mountain, which ſhook the whole Fabrick, and
firm Pillars which ſupporțit ; and whiſtling through
the Breach it made, diffuſed it ſelf into a general
Tempeſt with ſo much Rage and violence, as to
ſhake the foundation of the neighbouring Rocks, as
if its force had been ſuſficient to have ſhattered this
grand Machine into their firſt nothing. Hold, ſaid
Critilo
, the Mountains themſelves are not exempt-
ed from change, but expoſed to Earthquakes, and
Thunder, their power of reſiſtance being the cauſe
of their ſubverſion. But if theſe Rocks ſhook ( ſaid
Andrenio) what ſhould I? All the Joints of my Bo-
dy ſeemed to be looſed, and diſſolved, my heart
ready to break with Throbs, my Senſes failed me,
that I found my ſelf half dead, and almoſt buried
between the Rocks and my own fears ; whilſt this
Eclipſe of my Soul remained, the Parentheſis of
my
Life, neither can I know, nor can any other inform
me concerning it, at length, I know not how, nor
when, I returned by little and little to recover my
ſelf from this total dereliction of my Spirits; I un-
cloſed my Eyes to the dawnings of the day, a day
clear, great, and happieſt that ever my life hath
ſeen, a day which I have noted on the Stones and
engraved on the Rocks. I in tantly perceived the
Doors .
1
The Spaniſh Critick.
IS
Doors of my tedious Priſon broke open, a comfort
ſo tranſporting me, that I delayed no time to un-
bury my ſelf, and as one new-born in the World,
to leap into it, through that Gap, in which appear-
ed the Rayes, and Light of the chearful Heaven :
At firſt, not fully ſatisfyed of the reality, I went
round the Rock, ſtill ſuppreſſing with what power
I could the ſtrong rebulliency of my Paſſions: but
at length, well aſſured, I returned to the confuſed
Balcony of my Life, and Proſpect, diffuſing my
Eyes in a general view over this grand Theater of
Heaven and Earth: the whole vigour of my Soul ap-
plying it felf to the Windows of my Eyes with that
Contentment, and Curioſity, that it diſabled the reſt
of my Senſes to perform their Function, that for a
whole day I remained immoveable, unſenſible, and
dead, being overwhelmed by over-powering of too
ſtrong a Life. I would here expreſs, but it is im-
poſſible, the intenſe violence of my Affections, the
extravagant Raptures of my Soul, I can only tell
you, that there ſtill remain impreſſions thereof up-
on me; and the wonder, and amazement I then
conceived, are not ſo clearly forgotten, but that the
feaſe thereof, do ſtrongly affect me.
I believe,
ſaid Critile, that when the Eyes ſee what they ne-
ver eſpied, the Heart feels, what it was never ſenſio
ble of. I beheld (proceeded Andrenio) the Sea, the
Land, the Heaven, and cach ſeverally, and altoge-
ther, and in the view of each I tranſported my ſelf
without thoughts of over ending, admiring, enjoying,
and contemplating a fruition which could never fa-
tiate me.
O!
:
16
The Spaniſh Critick.
O! How much I envy thee (laid Critils) this un-
known happineſs of thine, the only priviledge of
the firſt Man, and you, the Faculty of
Novelty. ſeeing all at once, and that with Ob-
ſervation, the Greatneſs, Beauty, Har-
mony, Stability, and Variety of this created Fa-
brick. Familiarity in us takes off Admiration, and
Novelty affects little thoſe, who have neither Know-
ledge or advertency to enjoy it. For we enter in-
to the World with the Eyes of our Underſtanding
ſhut, and when we open them unto Knowledge
the Cuſtom of ſeeing hath rendred the greateſt
Wonders, 'neither ſtrange, nor admired at the
Judgments diſcloſure. Therefore the wiſe Wor-
thjes have repaired much of this defect by reflecti-
ons, looking back again as it were to a new Birth,
making every thing, by a ſearch and examination
into its Nature, a new ſubject of aſtoniſhiment; ad-
miring, and criticizing on their Perfections. Like
thoſe who walk in a delicious Garden, diverted
ſolely with their own Thoughts, not obſerving at
firſt the artificial adornments, and variety of Flow-
ers; yet afterward's return back to view each Plant,
and Flower with great Curioſity : So we enter into
this Garden of the Univerſe walking from our
Birth, until our Death, without the leaſt glance on
the Beauty, and Perfection of it: unleſs ſome wiſer
Heads chance to turn back, and renew their Plea-
fure by a Review, and Contemplation. This An-
drenio conſidered to be his greateſt Happineſs, in
that he arrived to that height of Perfection, which
he had ſo long expected and deſired. Your hap-
pineſs ( ſaid Critilo ) was your reſtraint, fince af-
terwards you knocked off your Bolts, and arrived at
a full fruition both of your own deſire, and them ;
for
i
".
The Spaniſh Critick.
17
for things that are worth our Wiſhes, and obtained,
are twice enjoyed : the greateſt Wonders, if fami-
liar, and common, ſoon looſe their Repute, and an
calie acceſs, and a free uſe makes but a toy of the
greateſt Prodigy; The Sun hath donc us a courteſie
in abſenting himſelf at night, that his return may
be the more grateful in the morning. What a con-
junction of Affections muſt you needs feel? What
over-flowings of your Senſes? How muſt your Soul
have been raviſhed, and employed in its attention
on thoſe Objects ?' 'Twas much, you were not
over-boarn with a Contemplation lo violent, and ad-
mirable. I believe anſwered Andrenin) that whilſt
my Attention was bùlied in Seeing, and Obſerving,
it was ſo fixed on the preſent Object, that it found
no force nor power to communicate anto an-
other.
But thoſe chearful emanations of the Grand-
Monarch of Light, which you call the Sun, crowned
with his own Beams, and encircled
with Rayes, ſtroak an awfulneſs to
Eyes to render him the Reverence and Admiration:
At the Glory of his Throne, at the Soveraignty and
Silence of His Majeſty, which triumphs in the Chri-
ſtaline Waves, and fills all Creatures with his bright
Preſence ; I was wholly ſwallowed up in Amaze-
ment, envying the Eagle ſhould be more intent
than my ſelf.
ſelf. At his naming the Sun (Critilo could
contain no longer, but inſtantly cryed out, and ap-
plauded the Comfort, the Bliſs, the Happineſs enjov-
ed in that immortal and glorious Light the Sun. My
admiration ſtill encreaſed, ſaid Andrenio, until my
Attention grew dim, and amazed, becauſe I deli-
red him at a diſtance, to whom I feared to ap-
proach near, my Reaſon telling me, what I obſer-
The Sun,
С
ved
1,8
The Spaniſh Critick.
High-negro • JAMATT4-4* 3/445 E5%; rự• ?""""""": …….………:
ved, that no other Light but his could dim my Eyes,
and that no nearer Acceſs could be to him, but only
by Contemplation. The Sun (ſaid Critilo ) is that
Creature, which is the moſt lively Eſfigies, and Ab-
ſtract of the Creators Majeſty and Greatneſs. He
is called, Sol, becauſe he ſolely runs the compaſs of
the Heavens, his Preſence out-ſhining the Glory of
the other Luininaries: his ſituation is in the midſt
of the Celeſtial Orbs, as the centre and heart of
Light, the perpetual fountain of Rayes, a conſtant
and an unchangeable Efence, whoſe Virtue allifted
us to ſee other things, and yet covers and hides his
own Beauty with the Vail of his Brightneſs: his in-
fluence concurs with more immediate Cauſes to the
Production of all Creatures: nor can Man deny him
to be the Author, and Parent of his Life. His
Light is moſt effectual in being communicated; for
diffuſing it ſelf into all parts, and piercing the very
Bowells of the Earth, doth with an admirable Ver-
tưe, ſtrengthen, foment, rejoice, and nouriſh: his
influence is not Partial, but common, all having need
of him, and he of none. In fine, he is a Creature
of the grcatcſt Pomp and Glory, the moſt reſplen-
dent Leam of the Divine Majeſty. A whole day,
faid Andrenio, I was employed in beholding him,
fometimes in himſelf, and ſometimes his Reflections
'in the Waters being forgetful of my time and ſelf.
At this Critilo remembred what the Philoſopher ſaid,
That he was born to behold the Sun; which was
well ſaid, though ill underſtood; for his meaning
that in this material Sun, he did contemplate
the
Divine Glory, for if but an Emillion, and Sha-
dow of him
be fo bright, what muſt be the true
Light of that infinite and uncreated Beauty ?
was,
But
The Spaniſh Critick.
19
#
But alas, ſaid Andrenio, how ſoon, like the uncon-
ftancy of this World, was the height of my comfort
changed into diſpleaſure , the joy of
my Birth into the liorroir of my The night.
Death, the throne of the morning in-
to the Grave of the night, the Sun being deſcended
through the Waters into another World, leto me
drowned in a Sea of my own Tears; bnt whilſt the
apprehenſions of never ſeeing him again, did grie-
vouſly affect me, behold on a ſudden a new Wonder
diverted my Thoughts, the appearance of a Hea-
ven adorned with Stars, changed the Scene, and re-
newed my Contentment. This Proſpect was no leſs
welcome than the other, the variety, and ſtrange-
neſs of the Objects affording me an entertainment
to buſie my attention, that immenſe Wiſdom
of God! faid Critilo, which hath found a means to
make the Night no leſs beautiful and admirable than
the Day. Abſurdly hath vulgar ignorance impoſed
the Epithites of drowſie, dark, and uncomely upon
the twinklings, and ſerenity of the night: thore de-
fcriptions of being the repoſe of Labour, the re-
freſhments and diverſion of Cares, are but reproaches
of its Sluggiſhneſs and Melancholy: but better is it
expreſſed by a Perſon of Wiſdom, who calls it the
time of Contemplation and Thoughts : and for that
reaſon, was the Owl at Athens celebrated as the
Hieroglyphick of Knowledge. The night is not ſo
proper for the Ignorant to ſleep, as for the Wiſe and
Studious to watch, the Night being to prepare that
which the Day muſt execute. In this entertainment
my Thoughts were ſoon engaged in a Labyrinth of
numbring the Stars, ſome whereof only twinkled,
others ſhined clearly, obferving their various Mag-
nitudes, Degrees, Motions, and Colours, whilſt fome
C2
appear
20
The Spaniſh Critick.
appeared, others withdrew: all reſembling, faid
Critilo, humane Fortune, which is no ſooner up,but
inclines to his ſetting.
But what I much conſidered, ſaid Andrenio, with
ſmall ſatisfaction, was that diſorderly, and yet admi-
rable diſpoſition of them ; for ſeeing the Superiour
Artificer had adorned, and ſealed the Convexity of
the Heavens with Stars,why he did not diſpoſe them
with Order and Method, interweaving them with
pretty Knots, and flowry Circles: I know not how
to declare or expreſs my ſelf. I already underſtand
you, faid Critilo, your meaning is, that the Stars
ihould have been diſpoſed in Order, and Rank, like
ſome rich Embroidery, or the Flowers of ſome deli-
cious Garden, or ſtudded like Rows of Damonds,
that the luſtre of one, might with an artificial cor-
reſpondency have ſet off the Beauty of another.
Yes, ſaid he, for beſides that the diſpoſition of
this reſplendent Artifice, would have been a proſpect
more delicious to the Sight, ſo it would have clear-
ed that fond imagination of ſome , who ſuppoſe
Chance to have been Framer of this Univerſe, and
by a fooliſh Prophaneneſs hoodwink the Provi-
dence of the Almighty. Your Query, ſaid Critilo,
is not from the purpoſe, for you muſt know that the
Divine Wiſdom directing, and diſpoſing of them
in this manner, had more Sublime Reaſon, than is
eaſily conceiveable, placing their Harinony, and Rule
not ſo much in their ſituation, as the conveniency of
their Motion, and Temperature: for there is not a
ſtar in heaven,which hath not his different nature and
influence; as Herbs and Plants of the Earth have
their diſtinct Vertues, ſome predominate in heat,
others in cold, ſome are dry, others moiſt; ſo that
their extreme qualities being equally mixed, pro-
duce
The Spaniſh Critick.
2 1
duce a juſt and moderate temperature in all. That
Artificial order that you ſpeak of, is but an Idle
toy, and fond invention of Art affected, and procu-
red only to entertain the vanity of humane Folly.
In this manner, every night repreſents us a new
Scene of Heaven, nor is our Sight, nor our Humour
though unconſtant, ever wearied to behold it. Eve-
ry perſon according to his fancyentertains a diſtinct
Conception, and Idea of their Proportions, the va.
riety and well ordered confuſion make the vulgar to
imagin them innumerable, and the appearance of
diſorder is to them a riddle of Providence, though
Wiſe men have the knowledge to ſearch out, and
diſcover their Order and Government. I was much
pleaſed, ſaid Andrenio, with the diverſity, and varic-
ty of their colours, ſome were pale, others ruddy,
ſome of a gold, others of a ſilver colour, there on
ly, methoughts, wanted Green, that acceptable and
grateful object of the Sight. That, ſaid Critilo
partakes too much of an Earthly quality, greenneſs
being a Symptome, or Badge of Hope, is more
agreeable to the future Wiſhes, and growing ex-
pectation of the Earth, than to that ſublimer Regio
on, which is ſwallowed up wholly in a happy for.
feffion. This colour alſo is contrary to the nature
of the Celeſtial Luminaries, and is a ſign of humi-
dity, and corruption. Did you never obſerve that
Star which makes a Point in the Globe of Heaven,
the Object to the which the Load-ſtone tends, and
the blank to which it darts all its Emiſſions? To that
the Compaſs of our attention fixes one Point, and
thereby meaſures other Circles, which running round
encompaſſes our Lives.
C 3
w
............
22
The Spaniſh Critick.
I muſt confeſs (faid Andrenio ) with no leſs cum
rioſity was my attention taken up in
Tbc Moon, admiring that beautiful Queen of thę
Stars the Governeſs of the night, the
Suns ſubſtitute, and little inferiour to him in Digni-
ty, that. which you call the Moon ;
A Mirrour of
though at this Light I found not thoſe
Humane Frail.
refreſhments, nor alacrity, as at the
ty.
the other ; yet the varieties of its en-
creaſing, and decreaſing was no leſs ſubject of my
admiration. It is the ſecond Preſident of time, faid
Critilo, an equal Colleague with the Sun in Govern-
ment, if one Governs the day, the other Rules
the night, if one is the Almanack of the Year, the
other is of the Months, if the Sun heats and dries
the Earth by day, the Moon refreſhes, and bedews
it at night; if the Sun cheriſhes, and ripens the
fruitful Fields, the Moon ſwells, and overflows the
Fountains, ſo that both perform their ſeveral Functi-
ons, and are the two fcales and ballances of the
Times and Seaſons. But that which is beſt worth
your obſervation is, that as the Sun is a clear Mir-
rour, and Emblem to repreſent unto us the Perfecti,
on of the Divine Attributes: ſo the Moon is the
Glaſs wherein to diſcover the uncertainty of humanę
frailty; for her condition, like the unconſtancy of
his, is never ſețled, or permanent, but is ſometimes
in the increaſe, then in the decreaſe; ſometimes in
the firſt point of its appearance, anon in the laſ
term of its decreaſe; ſometimes at the full, anon in
an unperceivable nothing: whoſe Light being to
tally communicated by the Sun, is eclipſed of her
Glory by an interpoſition of the Earth ; when the
is brighteſt, ſhe diſcovers moſt of her ſpots; ſhe is
the loweſt of all the Planets in ſituation, and digni,
ty:
hi
23
The Spaniſh Critick.
#
:
Sun.
ty; her power is more predominant on Earth, than
in Heaven: ſo that all thoſe Epithets of changeable,
defective, ſpotted, inferiour, poor, ſad, and the like,
are all derived from her too near vicinity with the
Earth. All this night, faid Andrenio,and many more
I spent in this pleaſant entertaintment, making my
ſelf as many Eyes, as the Heaven had Stars, and all
too little to view this Proſpect. But by this time
the Noats of the Birds were alarms of the mornings
approach tuning their Salve to his ſecond entrance,
giving notice to the Stars to retire, and to the
Flowers to awake. The Sun began
again to ariſe, and I to revive with his
fight, whom I chearfully ſaluted, but
methoughts, with ſomething more cool affections.
The Sun, ſaid Critilo, at the ſecond view doth not
amaze, nor at the third ſtrike admiration. My
curioſity began by this time to abate, as my ſtomach
became more ſharp; ſo after I had repeated ſome ap-
plauſes, and praiſes in his honour, I deſcended low-
er by the direction of his light (which I perceived
was a Creature, and an Inſtruinent to ſerve my uſe )
for the ſtrengthening of the Mind is ſubject to the
neceſſities of the Body, and ſublime contemplations
cannot be continued but by new ſupplies made to the
decays of nature. So that, I ſay, I deſcended by that
dangerous Ladder which thoſe confuſed ruines had
rudely and caſually digeſted, which yet I acknow-
ledge to the Providence of Heaven; for otherwiſe-
there had been no means for my fafe defcent.
But before I tread the leaſt ſtep on the bottom, !
muſt tell you, that both my Voice and words fail
mo;
C4
24
The Spaniſh Critick.
me;
and therefore I muſt entreat the fupply of
your expreſſions to recount the number of my
thoughts and ſo the ſecond time I invite you to new
Wonders, though Terrene.
The
25
The Third CHRISIS.
Natures Comelineſs.
ģ
$
He Variety of Nature is one part of its comely
adornment, and affords us matter to buſie our
Heads in Contemplation, and our Tongues in Praiſes :
our Souls are naturally propenſe to obſerve the effects
of Nature: The wifeſt man called it the worſt em-
ployment, and indeed ſo it is, when our conſideram
tions arreſt themſelves in ſatisfaction of our
own Vanity, not proceeding to ſuch ſublime
Raptures as may ſerve to raiſe in us the re-
turns Gratitude and Glory to the ſupream
Creator. Though admiration be the Daughter of
ignorance, yet it is the Mother of Content; to ad-
mire in ſmall things is folly, and to ſtand unſtruck
at more miraculous Prodigies, is inadvertency.
Admiration is the higheſt exprellion of Praiſe, we
can attribute to any Object, and eſpecially if it pro-
ceeds like expreſſions of Flattery, which pretend
thoſe exceſſes of perfection that are better eviden-
ced by ſilence, than words. But it is a vulgar fay-
ing, that not the greatneſs of a wonder, but the
novelty affects us, for we are not ſtudious to behold
thoſe füperiour wonders, becauſe they are known
but becauſe they are ftrange; by which means we beg
for
3
26
The Spaniſla Critick.
for trifling Novelties to entertain our unconſtant
humour, and pacifie our curious ſollicitude with ex.
travagancies. So much hath Novelty bewitched us,
that the ſtaleneſs of antient wonders, is oppreſſive,
and tedious to our unconſtancy,which our Brains are
forced to remedy by the arts and toyes of new in-
ventions. That which yeſterday ſtruck admirati-
on to the beholders, is to day ſlighted, and under-
valued, not that it hath loſt its perfection, but our
eſtimation; therefore the wifer Sages excuſe this for-
mer clownery by the civility of new addreſſes, re-
flecting on thoſe antient perfections with delight
and admiration. If therefore a Pearl brought from
another World affects us more, than our own Dia-
mond, becauſe extraordinary, what advantage muſt
it then be to Andrenio to ſee on a ſudden the Heaven,
the Stars, the Moon, the Sun, the Earth deckt with
Flowers, and the Sky enamell’d with Stars? Let him
relate this himſelf, and with that he proſecuted his
Diſcourſe. In this conjunction of beautiful rari-
ties, which I never before apprehended, I found
the motion of my Soul more active, and vigo-
rous than my Body, moving my Eyes more
than my Feet, every Object retarded my progreſs,
and found me matter to admire and applaud. Whilſt
yeſterday I admired the Heaven, I had only oppor-
tunity to exerciſe my ſight, but in this nearer ap-
proach, had I had a hundred eyes, and as many hands,
all would have been too feeble, and exhauſted in the
diffuſion they made of themſelves through all the
variety of theſe objects, I unweariedly beheld :
the multitude of Creatures, their different Proprie-
ties their Eſſences, Forms, Colours, Affections, and
Motions : with one hand I gathered a Roſe, confi-
dering the beauty of it, and Imelt its fragrant odour,
with
The Spaniſh Critick.
27
with the other I plucked fome Fruit to pleaſe my
taſte and ſatisfie my appetite: That in a ſhort time
I found my ſelf fo embarked in ſuch a diverſity of
Prodigies, that I was forced to leave one, to confi-
der the other, ſtill filled with delight, and admiration,
But that which with moſt delight I conſidered
was, that amongſt the multitude of
Creatures, there ſhould be ſo great di- The Variety of
verſity and difference that not one leaf Creatures.
of a Plant, nor of a Sparrow, ſhould
have a reſemblance of another Species. In this ſaid
Critilo, the wiſeCreator determined not only to ſupply
the meer neceſſities and wants of Man, for whoſe fake
all was created, but bountifully to extend his hand in a
various plenty, that ſo he, who had been thus libe-
ral in his Gifts, might well epect man ſhould nor
be ſparing or niggardly in his returns of ſervice. I
ſoon knew, proceeded Andrenie, ſome ſorts of thoſe
Fruits, which the courtſie of the Beaſts had brought
unto my encloſure : but eſpecially I obſerved the
manner of their growing, the extention of their
Boughs, the twining of their Roots, which as they
wereof no ſmall delight to me to behold, ſo the rea-
fon, and nature thereof was too high for my young
and unpoliſhed underſtanding to comprehend: the
crudity of the unripe Fruits, which I gathered, of.
fended my Teeth and Taſte, not knowing as yet
how to diſtinguiſh their times and ſeaſons. This is
another Rule, ſaid Critilo, and diſpoſition of Divine
Providence, to prolong the ripening of ſome Fruits,
till the neceſſity of Animals require them. Some
not only budded, but ripened in the Spring, are
firſt Fruits and Sacrifices more devoted to our taſte,
than nourilhment, and would rather be early than
Seaſonable ; the cool refreſhments of others are fit-
* ted
-!
28 The Spaniſh Critick.
ted to temper the Summers heat, and others of a
more dry, and durable quality are heaped up for
the Winters ſtore , both for proviſion of the bar.
sen ſeaſon, and by their innate heat to fortifie mens
ſtomachs againſt the Winters cold. The cool Herbs
of Summer abate, and attemper Fuly's heat, and
hot plants revive our benumbed coldneſs in Decembers
Froſts: ſo that one Fruit being gone another comes
in, obſerving their appointed times, and ſeaſons, ſo
as to ſupply our wants with abundance, and conve-
nience. that Provident Bounty of the Creator !
who appears ſo exprelly manifeft, that none can in
words deny him, but his inward thoughts and con-
ſcience will immediately check, and accuſe him.
I was involved, proceeded Andrenio, in ſo delight-
ful a Labyrinth of natures twining, that I commit-
ted my ſelf to the mercy of my own unſatiable cu-
rioſity, and to the aſtoniſhment, and confuſion
which every new Object had power to inculcate. Í
gathered this and t'other Flower, feaſted with its
fragrancy , flattered its beauty; nor was I ever
wearied with its ſmell,or fight; I plucked each leaf
particularly, making a prolix lecture thereon, ana-
tomatizing its artificial compoſure, deducing conclu-
ſions from thence of the general comelineſs of the
whole Univerſe. For thus I realoned, if one Flower
be ſo beautiful, what muſt be the whole Garden? if
one Star, ſo bright, and glorious, what muſt be that
tranſparent clearneſs of the whole Heavens? Wha
doth not admire this glory, and celebrate the praiſes
of ſo comely, and profitable a Fabrick ? I com-
mend your fancy, ſaid Critilo, but take care, that
the intentneſs of your outward ſenſe obſtruct not
the operations of your inward thoughts; that you
walk not like thoſe in this Garden of the World,
whoſe
The Spaniſh Critick.
29
Www.mil.....
whoſe eyes are fixed downwards, and decline with
Souls no more elevated than their animal ſenſes: buc
do you raiſe your contemplation to that infinite Per-
fection of the Creator; other things being but a
ray, and glimpſe of him: and thus argue, if the
ſhadow be ſuch, what muſt be the cauſe and the re-
ality which it follows , if ſuch be the Dead, what
inuſt be the Living ? if ſuch be the Image, what is the
Original ? For as a cunning Artiſt, deſigning to
build a Palace, intends not only to make it ſtrong
and convenient, but ſtately alſo, and excellent in its
ſymmetrical Proportions, which may pleaſe the ſight,
which is one of the moſt noble of our Senſes. Even
to the Divine Architect of this Palace of the World,
hath not only fixed the Foundation, and Pillars of it
firm, and ſtable, but adorned it with the excellency
of Proportion: ſo that Trees do not yield their
Fruit before they are firſt deckt with Bloſſoms, ma-
king Beauty ſubſervient unto Profit. From the
flagrant Flowers the Bees collect both ſubſtance for
their Combs,and Honey; and from the thin Leaves
are diſtilled ſweet and medicinal waters, to revive our
Spirits, and pleaſe our Senſes. But alas, replied
Andrenio, as at firſt the beauty and odour of thoſe
Flowers delighted my fancy,ſo was I no leſs troubled
to ſee that flouriſhing eſtate fo foon changed, and
faded. This, ſaid Critilo, is a lively Emblem of
humane frailty, for beauty begins in oſtentation,
the yçar ſmiles amongſt the flowers of a chear-
ful Spring, and the day dawns with beams of a
bluſhing Aurora, and man begins to live with the
ſmiles of Infancy, and wantonneſs of Youth; but all
ends in fadneſs and corruption, when the apprenheſi.
on of being laid in the duſt and paying the tribute of
Nature, affcights us with horrour ; whilſt the un-
certain
:
?
30
The Spaniſh Critick.
certain time of deſtiny in general ſerves to elude
mens expectation thereof in particular.
After I had in this paſtime entertained my fight,
faid Andrenio, there wanted not the Harmony, and
Muſical Notes of Birds to content my Ears: their
tuned throats raviſhed my Sences, their Quavers,
Stops, and ſweet Airs kept time with the Woods,
and Vallies which were inſtruments of their louder
Sounds, and by Eccho bore part with them in the
ſame Muſick ; the ſhrubs alſo, and twigs dancing at
the noiſe, ſeemed to falute the Sun at his firſt ariſe.
I obſerved here, and that with no ſmall admiration,
that nature had beſtowed the Gift of melody in
Voice, which is the recreation of our lives, on
Birds only; Beaſts with an ungrateful Voice offen-
ded my Ears,and the found they made was more of
horrour, than harmony. The reaſon is, ſaid Critilo,
becauſe Birds as Inhabitants of the Air are of more
refined Spirits in that ſubtle Region, and there-
fore have the advantage of other Creatures, and on-
ly can imitate the words of men, through the Puri-
ty of that place they live in, and abiding in a Regi-
on of nearer vicinity unto Heaven, have need of
ſweeter Voices to reſound continually Divine Praiſes.
Another thing I would have you to obſerve , that
amongſt all the diverſity of Birds, none is affected
with a venemous quality, like thoſe Animals, who
crawling on the Earth, fuck in noxious qualities,
which ſhould admoniſh man to avoid the dangers of
this Region, and retire from the filth of this infecti-
I was much taken, faid Andrenio, to ſee them
ſo neat, and to pretty in their variety of colours.
But here obſerve, faid Critilo, that the Male bath
more variety in his colours, than the Female, re-
ſembling the like in man, whom nature it felf hath
fo
on.
..
The Spaniſh Critick.
31
tures.
ſo ſufficiently decked, that he needs no other foils
to Tet him off, but Women being ſubtle in their
inventions, know ways to deceive with the ſnare of
their dreſſes, and to cover their defects with coun-
terfeited Feathers.
That which I much obſerved (faid Andrenio )
was that admirable correſpondence,
and rule by which the diſtinct The Subording-
multitudes of Creatures were diſtin- tion of Crea-
guiſhed, and diſpoſed, without one
being troubleſome unto the other, but
rather every one in their ſeveral natures, lik a well-
ordered Commonwealth, helpful and altiſtant a-
mongſt themſelves. This is another effect, ſaid
Critilo, of Divine Wiſdom, the ballance of all things
in weight number, and meaſure; for every Creature
hath its Centre, his natural place of reſidence, his
duration in time, his proper end both in being, and
operation : By this you may ſee the link and chain
of Creatures, their orderly ſituation, and the due
degree of their Perfection of the Elements the
meaneſt Servants of nature are compoſed mixed Bo-
dies, and the inferiours are fubordinate to the Su-
periours : Herbs, and Plants, which are in the loweſt
order and degree, of life, are Vegetables, moving
and increaſing until they arrive at the full point,
and period of their perfection. In the ſecond or-
der of life are Senſitives, the Animals of the Earth,
which prey on the Vegetables, making them Food,
and Nouriſhment for their own fuiſtenance; and
theſe are the Beaſts of the Field, the Fiſhes of the
Sea, and the Birds of the Air; theſe feed on the
Graſs, people the Trees , peck the Buds, build in
the Branches, and make the Leaves their defence,
and ſecurity but both theſe, one, and the other
.
are
32
The Spaniſh Critick.
are bound to obey a third ſort of Nature, viza
the Vegetable, and the Senſitive are made Servants
to a higher Maſter, Reaſon, and Underſtanding ,
which is Mah, and he ſubordinated to a greater So
veraign which is God, whom he ought to know,
love, and ſerve. In this wonderful order, and har-
mony, all things are diſpoſed , one Creature being
made helpful to alliſt the wants and Neceflities of
another. The Water hath need of the Earth to
ſupport it, the Earth of the water to bedew it is
the water in rarefaction becomes Air, and the Air
Food to nouriſh, and foment the Fire: every part
being ordained mutually to maintain the other, all
generally concur to the preſervation of the whole.
Beſides, it is worth obſervation to conſider thoſe
ways and means the Divine Providence hath invented
for the preſervation of that being, which he hath gi-
ven to everyCreature,eſpecially to the Senſitive as the
moſt conſiderable, which is a natural inſtinct to know
the good and avoid the bad: whence we may better
admire, than relate, the apt hability fome have to
deceive, and that others have to eſcape and fly the
danger.
Though all this diverſity of Prodigies, ſaid Andre-
nin, was but as one continued Series of Novelty':
yet my wonder was ſtill dilated with the fight and
ſurvey of that immenſe Ocean. The Sea: ſeemed as
envious of the Earth to form Tongues
The Sean
in the water to chide my ſluggiſhneſs,
and by the noiſe of its Waves to in-
vite my curioſity to a new admiration. Thus
wearied with my Walks, but not with my Thoughts
I fate me down, on one of yonder Cliffs, oppreſſed
with as many fits of aſtoniſhment, as the Sea hath
Waves. I contemplated much on
thoſe light bounds
that
The Spaniſh Critick. 33
that impriſon the Sea, and the obedience of that
furious Monſter to the gentle Curb of the unitable
Sand. Is it poſlible, făid I, there ſhould be no
ſtronger Wall, than that of Duſt, to limit the
violence of this furious Enemy? Hold, ſaid Critilo,
Divine Providence hath with much lenity circum-
ſcribed the rage of two boundleſs enemies, which
being let looſe, would have deſtroyed the World,
and its Inhabitants. The Sea he hath terminated
with the limits of the Sands, and
the Fire he hath impriſoned in the
* The Author
hard intrails of the Flint, which be- Speaks here
with more Rhe
ing called by two ſtroaks only comes torick than
forth, and ſerves our occaſions: when Philoſophy.
we have no farther need of it, it re-
tires or is extinguiſhed; if this were not, two days
could not paſs, before the Earth were conſumed by,
the Fire, or drowned with the Waters, I could
not fatiate my ſelf, ſaid Andrenio, in beholding the
tranſparent clearneſs of the Waters, and my cyes
were hydropically thirſty to view the conſtant mo-
tion of thoſe liquid Chryſtals. They ſay, anſwer-
ed Critilo, that the eyes being compoſed of thoſe
two humours Watriſh, and Chryſtaline, are ſo much
pleaſed with beholding Waters, that they are never
wearied in bcholding them. Above ail, faid Andrz-
nio, when I ſaw ſo many Fiſhes within the bowels of
the Sea, ſo differently formed from Birds, and
Beaſts, it was here, that I can properly ſay, niy.
admiration, was at a ſtand, and being wholly exhauft-
ed was reduced to a ne plus ultra. Upon this Rock
being let alone, without other admonition than
my own weak Meditations. I began
to conſider the rare harmony of the compofition of
Univerſe, which being compoſed of Contraries.
D
CON
$
34
The Spaniſh Critick.
Contraries, one would think in ſo near a conjuncti-
on ſhould like irreconcilable Enemies, as they are,
combate both to their own, and the Worlds de-
ſtruction : This held me for ſome time in contem-
plation; for who would think a League could be
made to compoſe things ſo contrary, and oppoſite?
It is true, anfivered Critilo, the World is compound-
ed of Contraries, and Agreement of Diſcords; as
the Philoſopher faith, there is nothing, but hath an
Enemy with whom to combate, either with victo-
ry, or ſubjection, all is with action, and pallion,
none allaults, but his blows are returned by his
Enemy. The Flements command the Van-guard,
by whoſe example the mixed compoſitions are en-
couraged to Battel, one deſtroying the other, evils
waiting to entrap our Goods, and mafice to ruiné,
and overthrow our Fortunes. Sometimes even the
Stars have their Diffentions
and Quarrels, and though
there is no Weapons, or power in fight capable to
hurt thoſe invulnerable Bodies ; yet the damage
of the war, like that of Soveraign Princes, re-
dounds to the affliction of their ſublunary Vaſals
and their natural Diſcords are converted to moral
oppoſitions: ſo that none on Earth, is ſo peace-
able and quiet, but finds ſome whom he may hate,
or emulate, for corrupt nature is pregnant with
the innate feeds of diffention. Thus in Age the
old are Oppoſers of the Young, in Complexion
the Phlegmatick are averſe to the Cholerick, in
Eſtate the Rich unfociable with the Poor, in Cli-
mate the Spaniard unpleaſing to the French: thus
in all forts of Qualities, and Conditions, fome are
contrary, or in oppoſition unto others. But what
if I ſhould tell you, that within the very Gates of
Man himſelf, within the ſmall compaſs of that
earthly
M
The Spaniſh Critick.
35
earthly Cottage, the fire of diflention ſhould be
kindled, and he äs an enemy oppoſe himſelf? For
he as a little World is compounded of all Contraries :
the Humours begin the Quarrel, the Moiſture re-
fiſts the radical Heat, ſtill endeavouring to abate,
and quench it; the inferiour parts are always offen-
ſive to the Superiour,contradicting their Deſigns,and
Intentions, and the Appetite fubdues, and tramples
on Reaſon. The Soul, that immortal Spirit, is not
free from this Calamity, the Paſſions quarrel amongſt
themſelves; Fear endeavours to abate Valour, Me-
lancholy Mirth; ſometimes we deſire, and then we
abhor,'fonctimes Vices triumph, and anon Vir-
tues, all conſiſts of Arms and War, and the Life of
Man on Earth is nothing but a continued Warfare.
But O! that wonderful and infinite Wiſdom of
the Creator, who hath ſo moderated, and attem-
pered the Contrarieties of Creatures, as to make
their Diſcords their ſtay, ſupport, and conſervati.
on, and thereby to unite, and fuſtain the whole Fa-
brick of the Univerſe. This, faid Andrenio, was
none of my meannieſt Contemplations, obſerving
ſo much change in ſo much Permanency, all things
feemed to move in a continual progreſs to their na-
tural end, and yet the World as the ſtage of the
Tragedy to remain the fame conſtant, and immu-
täble. The ſupream Artificer, ſaid Critilo, hath ſo
ordained, that nothing ſhould end, but another
ſhould begin, that from the aſhes, or ruine of the
one ſhould ariſe another, that the corruption of one
ſhould be the generation of another when all
things ſeem to be at an end, a new Offspring be-
gins, Nature peoples again the World, and older
ages caft their Bill, and grow young with a new
D
::
36
The Spaniſh, Critick.
>
But here, ſaid Andrenia
Generation, in all which is to be adınired, and
adored the Wiſdom of Divine Providence.
and obſervation reſt, but ſtill pro-
The Changes
cceded to conſider the variety of
of Time. times, and ſeaſons, the exchange
of day with night, of ſummer with
winter, by the moderate and gradual intervention
of the temperate Spring; Nature proceeding by
degrees never makes ſo long a ſtep as from one
extream to another. In this again, Taid Critilo, ap-
pears the Divine Government, not only in appoint-
ing unto all Creatures, their orders and ſituation,
but in accommodating fit times and opportunities
agreeable to all occalions. The day ſerves for la-
bour, and the ſilence of the night for quietneſs and
repoſe: the Froſts of Winter fix and extend the
Roots of Plants, and the Spring with a reviving
warmth cauſes the branches to bloſſom, and the
Summer appears in Plentiful hopes, and the Autumn
crowns our Labours with the Fruits we reap, and
gather into our Barns. But what do you think of
the ſtrange Miracle of the Rains? This too I admi-
fed very much, faid Andrenio, to ſee thoſe ſweet
dews diſtil on the earth with gentleneſs, and divi-
ded ſtreams, for a common refreſhment: and fo
ſeaſonable, added Critilo, in the two Months of
October and April, which are productive of Fruit,
and ſerve the Plow,and Seed, with a kindly Moiſture.
The changes alſo of the Moon contribute unto
Plenty, and favour by a wholeſome influence the
health of Creatures; for fome Months are cold ,
others hot, ſome moiſt, and bluſtering, others dry,
and ſerene, according to the different Seafons: the
Waters cleanſe, and fructife, the Winds purge, and
animate;
3
1
The Spaniſh Critick.
37
.
1
animate ; the Earth immoveablyſupports the
deſcending gravity of Bodies, the Air is pliable not to
hinder their motion, and diaphanous not to obſtruct
and cloud the sight. Whence we may fee, that it
is, that Divine Omnipotency, that Eternal Provi-
dence, and that only immenſe Bounty, which alone
knows how to erect this vaſt Fabrick, which we can
never fuffciently admire, contemplate and applaud.
Theſe are certain Truths , faid Andrenio, which I
have often obſerved, and yet ill conceived in my rude
Underſtanding. It was no unpleaſant entertainment
to me, to traverſe all the day from one place unto
another, from one proſpect to another, continuing
to admire, and view the Heaven, the Earth, the
Seas, the Fields, and all with an unſatiable fruition.
But that point, on which I much inſiſted, was that
admirable Art of the Divine Wiſdom, which with
ſo much facility hath perfornied a Labour fo diffi-
cult, and in the firſt invention proceeded to the ve-
ry height and top of all Perfection, and Accom-
compliſhment: How much art was there in fixing
the Earth firmly on its Baſis to be a ſecure founda-
tion for the following Superſtructure ? Nor leſs ad-
mirable are thoſe perennal ſtreams of Fountains
which fwell with an unexhauſtible increaſe, whoſe
continued inundation is no more than a neceſſary
Plenty. How much power is there in forming the
Tempeſts, and thoſe ſtill whiſperings of Wind ,
which ſteal from unknown places, and as much un-
known the Stages to which they tend? How much
power was there in digeſting thoſe uſeful heaps of
Mountains, the ribs of this compoſure, the Bay and
Harbour for the Earth to ſhrowd it ſelf under ?
Theſe, as they are additions to the beauty of the
Worlds variety, ſo are they the Treaſuries of the
Snows
D 3
.
38
The Spaniſh Critick.
Snows the Mines from which Mettals are extracted,
are the the diſſolvers, or breakers of the Clouds,the
Head and original of Fountains, and the dens of
Beaſts; from them fall the lofty Pines to build our
Ships, and Houſes; in them we have refuge from the
over-flowings of waters in them we remain ſecure,as
in Towers, or Bull-works from the ſudden aſſaults
or ſurprizal of our Enemies: all which Miracles and
Wonders, what but an infinite Wiſdom could form,
and diſpoſe with Reaſon, therefore muſt we con-
Feſs that were all the beſt Heads, and Judgments
of the World united in one, and all their Reaſons,
and Diſcourſes, ſqueezed, and diſtilled to the pu-
reſt quinteſſence of Rationality, it were riot capa-
ble to amend the leaſt circumſtance, or make an
addition to the leaſt Atome of Natures perfection.
And if that King, for only knowing four Stars, was
ſo highly commended by one of his Paraſites (fo
much is Wiſdom cſteemed in a Prince ) and with .
that extravagant applauſe, ſaying, That if he had
been Counſellor to the Divine Workinan, at that
time when he created, and ordered theſe things,
that his Humane Wiſdom would have outdone the
Divine, and better contrived the compoſure of his
Fabrick. But this ſaying proceeded not from an
effect of Reaſon, but from a defeit of Judgment,
incident to the nature of the Spaniſh Nation; which
in the ſwellingsof their boaſting humour cannot mo-
derate their oſtentation though with God himſelf.
Hear me, ſaid Andrenio, this laſt truth the great-
elt, and moſt ſublime of any, that
The Defcriptiº I have yet declared. 'I confefs ,
tion of Divini- that though I have admired for
3.
ſtrange Prodigies in this Univerſe,
Viz. The multitude and variety of Creatures, the
har.
1
The Spaniſh Critick.
39
harmony and agreement in Contraries, their beauty
and ornament mixed with profit, and convenience,
and their mutations with Permanency. Yet above
all, I remained confuſed in the knowledge of the
Creator, who is ſo manifeſt in his Creatures, and
yet hid in himſelf; whoſe Attributes are imprinted
on every ſtep, and action of his work, as his Om-
nipotencey in the execution, his Providence in the
Government, his Beauty in the perfection, his
Bounty in the communicaton; and ſo the reſt of his
Attributes; of which as none were unemployed at
the beginning, ſo in fucceeding ages are maintained,
and conſerved by the exiſtence and operation of his
power, And notwithſtanding this great God is
hid, though known, not ſeen, though manifeſt, far
diſtant, though near; this is tliat riddle which hath
confuſed my Underſtanding, and left me in an ex-
taſie of love, and adoration. Man, ſaid Critilag is
naturally inclined to love his Maker, as the begin-
ing, and end he tends unto. Nor is there any Na-
tion ſo barbarouſly ignorant, in whom the Light of
Nature hath not infuſed the awe, and reverence of
a Deity , fufficient to curb the moſt audacious
profaneneſs, and convince them of the Divine
Ellence, Omnipreſence. Nature having made no-
thing but to ſome end, the inclinations and propen-
fities of every Creature are uſeful in their ſeveral
Operations. If the Loadſrone turns unto the North,
it denotes a ſimpathy between them, and its trem-
bling till it returns usto its; Point, thews that a vio-
lence is offered to its nature, whilſt it remains in
the ſtate of Separation. If the Plant turns with the
Sun, the Fiſh to the Water, the Stone to the Centre,
and Man to God, there muſt be a: God, who is his
attracting North, his Centre, and Sun, to which
hiş
ई
DA
40
The Spaniſh Critick.
7
his head bends, and with whoſe vigor, and heat
the deadneſs of his soul receives vigor to revive,
From this Great Sire do all Creatures acknowledge
to have received their Being: he only is from him-
felf, and therefore is Infinite in all kind of Perfecti-
on, whoſe Being none is able to circumſcribe with
Place, or Time. Though he is not ſeen, yet he is
known, and like a Soveraign Prince keeps a diſtance
ägreeable to his Majeſtick Greatneſs not admit
ting, unleſs rarely, his Vallals to a familiar Audi.
ence, and yet is familiarly preſent with all by the
repreſentation of his Creatures. So that a Philoſo-
pher defines this world to be the Grand Looking-
Glars of God. Pbilox Ebreus terms it the invita-
tion of the Soul, and the only nouriſhment which
feeds Minds. Pythagoras calls it a Tuned-Harp,
whoſe meaſure, and harmony wraps up our Con-
templations, and Thoughts with uncontainable Ra-
viſhments. Tertulian names it the Pomp of In-
created Majeſty. And Triſmegistus the Muſical Con-
Tonåncy of the Divine Attributes.
Theſe are, and ſo concluded Andrexio, the firſt
Rudiments of my Life, better conceived than re-
lated; for where the Thoughts are ſcrewed be:
yond their natural power, there muſt conſequently
want words to utter them. That which I muſt now
defire of you is, that you would fatisfie my longing
expectation to know what you are, and from whence
you came, and how you paſſed the rowling Waves
of this Ocean, tell me if there be more Worlds, or
more people than this, to all which my Curioſity
will render me as attentive as you can deſire. Ta
which Relation Critilo willingly conſented, being
the great Tragedy of his Life declared in the fol
lowing Criſis.
The
The Third Criſis. .
THE
Deſtroyer of Life.
*
Critilo Relates the Misfortunes of his Lode in
the time of his Touth; and the occaſion of his
Shipwrack.
TH
Hey ſay that Cupid complained of the Injuries
he had received from Fortune, in that ſhe had
flighted and undervalued the Power of his Mother,
by not appealing, as ſhe was want, to her Arbitre.
mient' and Judicature. What want you Blind Boy,
ſaid Fortune ? and he again, replyed, this is agree-
able to thoſe reproaches and ſcorn, which Envy
and Diffention hath caſt upon me.
Fortune. With whom have you this enmity ?
Cupid. With all the World.
Fortune. I am ſorry you ſhould contend with fo
powerful an Enemy, and that the Juſtice of your
Cauſe ſhould invite none to defend it.
9
Cupid
24
The Spaniſh Critick.
>
Cupid. Had I but only you on my ſide, I ſhould
be ſufficiently defended, and this my Mother daily
tells me, and often preaches to me, that I fhould get
you to my Friendſhip and Party.
Fort. But do you not revenge your ſelf?
Cupid. Yes, both of young and old.
Fort. Well, but what is the occaſion, and reaſon
for your anger?
Cupid. The cauſe is as great, as juſt.
Fort. Perhaps thoſe ordinary reproaches of ha-
ving been born in the Family of a Mechanick, or
your Education to be no other than amidſt the An-
vile, and Hammers of a ſmooty Forge.
Cupid. No, not theſe, for never was I ſo diſinge-
nuous as to deny Truth.
Fort. Nor ſhould it trouble you to be called the
Son of your Mother.
Cupid. This leſs; for I triumph and glory rather
to proceed from the Race of fo Divine a Progeny;
neither can I be without her, nor ſhe without me;
neither Versus without Cupid, nor Cupid without
Veni.
Ført. Now I know your diſtaſte, you are vexed to
be thought the heir of your Grandfathers defects,
or to imitate the Sea, that troubled and unconſtant
Element.
Cupid. No, for theſe are but Fables.
Fort. If theſe be Fables, what are Truths ?
Cupid. That which unquiets me is, that they im-
pofe upon me falſe Aſperſions, unſeemly Epithites,
and Slanders.
Forë. I underſtand you now; without doubt it is,
that they ſay, you have changed your Bow with
Death, and are not called Amor from Amare , but
from Mori, as if Love, and Death were both one,
your
The Spaniſh Critick
43
your Profeſſion being to deſtroy Life, to unrip the
Heart, and lodge it in another; rather where it
loves, than where it animates.
Cupid. This is all true,
Fort. If this be true, what other reproach can
you complain of, as falſe, or injurious ?
Cupid. Are thoſe true, that ſpeak me Blind, and
whoſe Malice would pluck out my Eyes? If I am
blind, let thoſe well-Mot Arrows declare, or thoſe
marks hit, be mended by the ſhafts of a more
quick-lighted Shooter. They paint me alſo with a
Fillet bound about my Eyes; not only Apelles, whoſe
Fancy guides his Pencil, nor the Poets, whoſe obli-
gation is to faign, and their trade to invent fabu-
lous Fancies; but alſo the wiſe and underſtanding
Philoſophers; Theſe are they which move my
Patience, and make me angry to think their better
Judgments ſhould ſtile me fuch, and
like the reſt be ſeduced with a vulgar Blind Paffion.
Error, Prithee tell me, Fortune, what
Pallion is there, that doth not blind? Is not the
Angry blinded with his own Choler? The Covetous
with his Intereſt? The Deſperate with his Confi-
dènce ? The Idle with his Sleep? Is not the Vain
a Mole in his Gallantry, and the Hypocrite
blinded with the Beams of his Eyes ? And do
not the Proud, Gluttonous, and Drunkards groapin
the darkneſs of their own Pallions ? Why then do
they impoſe this Ignominy on me only and ſo deprive
me of my Sight, that by a Metonimy of blindneſs
they deſcribe me? which is the more ſtrange, be-
cauſe this deprivation is contrary to my Nature, and
Sight gives me the firſt Being. By Seeing I begin, and
thereby my Pallion is nouriſhed and formed, and like
an Eagle at the Sun, am never wearied with behold-
+
ing
44
The Spaniſh Critick.
ing Beauty. This is the quarrel, and injury I com-
plain of; what think you, have not I reaſon? The
fame, ſaid Fortune, is my grievance; and ſince we
both lie under the fame abuſe, let our equal mis-
fortune comfort, and content us both; but that which
hath chiefly impoſed this name upon you, is the too
taiſed conceit of your own sight, as if only ena-
moured Spirits knew how to delight their eyes; and
that others had only light to ſerve their neceſſity,
and not their curioſity, which cauſes you to accuſe
them of blind Ignorance, and upbraid your defects
in return of their affronts: He that will ſee this
Philoſophy compared with experience, let him at-
tend to this following diſcourſe of Critilo, which he
dedicates to the years of flouriſhing Youth.
'Your demand, ſaid he, renews my antient grief,
which my mind already better feels, than my tongue
relates: as your diſcourſe was pleaſant and delight-
ful, ſo the troubles, and misfortunes of my life con-
vert our former content into extremes of Melancholy:
happy art thou who waſt born among the Beaſts,
and unhappy I who was born and educated amongſt
Men,whoſe cruelty exceeds that of ravenous Wolves;
for every one is to the other ſuch, and to be a Man
is to be more unhumane than they. You have given
me an account how you came into the World, and I
ſhall tell you, how I came out of it; the fence of
which hath ſo altered, and changed my humour
and condition, that I know not ſo well to tell you
who I am, as who I was. They ſay I was born at
Sea, and indeed the inconſtancy of my Fortune
perſwades me the fame. The word, Sea, was no
Tooner out of his Mouth, but turning his eyes to
wards it, on a ſudden ſtarted up, and diſtruſting
his
The Spaniſh Critick.
45
his right at firſt, ſtood a while in ſuſpence, but at
length calling to Andrenio, and pointing with his
Finger, Doſt thou not ſee, ſaid he, yonder afar off?
What is it you ſee? I fee, ſaid he, ſome wandring
Mountains, or winged Sea-Monſters, or elſe ſome
Clouds. No, ſaid Critilo, they are Ships, though
you have ſaid aptly in calling them Clouds; for they
rain Gold into Spain. Andrenio was much pleaſed
to ſee them come in with ſuch full ſwelled Sails;
for he admired a light ſo unuſual, being naturally
deſirous to enter into humane Society ; but Critilo
began to ſigh, and lament the trouble and inconve-
nience of the preſent occaſion. What is the matter,
ſaid Andrenio, is not this the deſired Fleet of which
you told me? Yes. Are not thoſe Men that
come? Yes. Why then are you ſo ſad ? For
this only reaſon, ſaid Critilo, for know, Andrenio,
that we are already lodged within
the power of our enemies; now we
muſt be circumſpect over all our
actions, be provident in ſeeing, cautious in hear-
ing, but eſpecially ſpeaking; we muſt bridle our
tongues, and before we begin our Speech, we must
premeditate what inconvenience may enſue. The
profeſſions you make may to credulous ears
inſinuate affection and friendſhip, but be ſo provi-
dent as to arm againſt the aſſaults of enemies. This
new Lecture ſeemed ſtrange to Andrenio, whoſe Judg-
ment not being improved by experience, made him to
reprove Critilo,wondring that he did not rather adviſe
him of the dangers of the Woods, and cruelty of
Beaſts than with ſo much inveterate hatred to inveigh
againſt man. Was not our danger greater, faid
he whilſt our want of habitation drove us to the dens
of Tygers, nor did you fear them much leſs ſhould
your
Moral Rules.
46
The Spaniſh Critick.
your courage abate with the fight of men. Yes,
fighing, an!wered Critilo, for if Men be not Beaſts,
it is becauſe their inhumanity exceeds
The Iniquity of theirs, whoſe irrational Soul is not
Mankind. capable to invent ſuch extravagant
Iniquities. Never was our danger
greater than with the approach of theſe; which
Truth is confirmed by the example of a King,who
to protect his Favorite from the violent hands of
his own Courtiers, incloſed him within the Den of
his Lyons, eſteeming him more ſecure there, than
within the reach, or power of his malevolent Pro-
ſecutors. I ſhall refer that to your own confeſſion,
after that your better experlence hath acquainted
you with the ſame. Hold, faid Andrenio, are
they not all like you? Yes, and yet are not, for
every one is the son of his Mother, wedded to his
own humour, and opinion, and affected with a diver-
ſiły both of fancy and geſture. There are ſome who
but Pigmies in growth, have yet their Souls elevated
to the Skies, and others, Giants in bodies, have yet
their thoughts levelled with the Earth: you ſhall
meet others of a revengeful, and malitious Spirit,
whoſe rage dies not with time, and whoſe rancour
infecteth others; as poiſonous as the Scorpions Tail,
having its Venom fublimated by age, and long du-
rance. You ſhall heat, but let it be your care to
avoid the impertinent diſcourſes of the talkative;
which are often vain,and idle,and neither profitable
to him that ſpeaks, or hears them. You will pleaſe
your ſelf with the conceits of ſome, whoſe quicker
genius comments on the actions of others, imitating
in a jeſting ſcorn their words, their manners, and
behaviour, but there Men reflect not on the loof
neſs of their own Lives, nor how obnoxio Is they
are
The Spaniſh Critick.
47
are to the cenſures of a ſcrutinous Judge; others
there are fooliſhly inquiſitive, whoſe impertinent
queſtions may puzzle the Anſwers of a good Reſal-
ver. You ſhall ſee others, whoſe long diſcourſes
conclude in nothing, in all things aggravating and
enlarging; for though they be Men more ſhort in
ftature than one of Navarre, and corpulent allo
are yet without ſubſtance. In fine, you ſhall find
few men that are ſo, Brutes they may be, and Mon-
ſters of the World,having no ſubſtance but their own
Fleſh and Skin, and the reſt but a meer ſhadow or
apparition of Mankind,
But tell me, how is Man capable of doing ſo much
miſchief, ſince Nature as ſeemingly negligent of
him, hath denied him thoſe weapons with which
ſhe hath armed, and defended Beaſts? He hath no
claws like the Lyon, or Tyger, no Trunk like the
Elephant, no Horns like the Bull, no Tusks like
the Boar, no Teeth like the Dog, nor Mouth like
the Wolf, how then is that unarmed Malice able to
wage fuch continual War? For this very reaſon,
faid Critilo, hath provident Nature not delivered
weapons into the hands of an enemy dangerous to
himſelf, and the reſt of her Product; whoſe hate
knows no bounds, for being let looſe, would deſtroy
even Nature her felf, notwithſtanding all which,
his malice hath found means to convert thoſe parts
which Nature hath given him for neceſſary uſes into
more bloudy and cruel Weapons than thoſe of Beaſts,
his Tongue is more ſharp than the Lyons Claws,
by which he ſhatters the Reputation of others, and
wounds them in their name, and honour. His bad
intentions are more perverſe, and crooked than the
Bulls horns,hurt at random and hit thoſe it never aim-
ed at:his bowells are more poiſonous than thevipers,
th
his
48 The Spaniſh Critick.
this breath blaſts more than the Dragons,his eyes are
more envious,and dart more deadly emillions, than
the Baſilisks, his teeth are more ſharp than the fangs
of the Boar, and his noſe like the Elephants trunk,
wrings and turns it ſelf into a thouſand forms, and
ſhapes of deriſion; ſo that all thoſe offenſive Arms
which are ſparingly delivered to other Creatures are
not given to,but uſurped by Man, and in him found
as the ſtore and Magazine of them all. And that you
may underſtand this the better, know that Lyons, and
Tygers are capable of no other damage, than what
touches their Bodies; but Man is liable to what mi-
ſery, fraud, deceit, treaſon, theft, homicide, adul-
tery, envy, injuries, detractions, and fallities can
throw on his honour, and caſt on his peace, eſtate,
content, happineſs, conſcience, nay and to a malice,
which would proceed to the very ruine, and deſtru-
etion of his soul. Believe me, there is no Wolf, nor
Lyon, nor Tyger fo unhumane, as Man; which is
füfficiently verified, if true, what is reported. That
a Malefactor being condemned to die upon a legal
Tryal, was by Sentence of fuſtice to be caſt into a
deep Cave to be there devoured by ravenous Beaſts :
it fortuned that a Stranger palling by, and hearing
the ſighs, and groans of the condemned perſon, and
yet ignorant of the puniſhment, was moved by com-
paſſion to relieve him out of miſery; to which end
opening the Cave ſuddenly, with extraordinary
nimbleneſs leaped out the Tyger, which contrary
to its nature, and the expectation of the Traveller,
by way of falute and gratefulneſs, kindly killed and
licked his hands; next followed the Snake, which
twined about his Legs, not to wound, but to em-
brace them; in like manner did all the reſt mort
gratefully join to give him thanks not only for fa-
ving
The Spaniſh Critick. 49
ving their lives, but for reſcuing them from a death
accompanied with the loathſome Society of a wick-
ed Man; in recompence of which they ſeemed to
adviſe him to fly and be gone,leaſt when
that Miſcreant came forth, he ſhould Mans Cruelty.
endanger his own life, by ſaving his
The Paſſenger, though much amazed, yet deſired
to ſee him whom he had ſo much obliged, expecto
ing ſome acknowledgements for ſo great a benefit,
inſtead of which the Malefactor coming forth, and
ſuppoſing that the Traveller carried fome Wealth
and Riches with him, killed him, and deſpoiled
him of all, a kind return of his Charity and Com-
paſſion. And now judge, which are moſt cruel,
Men, or Beaſts. I am more aſtoniſhed, and ama-
zed, ſaid Andrenio, to hear this, than the day I be-
held the World. You cannot fully conceive their
Malice, faid Critilo, and yet Women are worſe, and
more dangerous. If they be worſe, what inuſt they
be then? In ſhort they are Divels, hereafter I
will tell you more of them : but above all I
conjure you that by no means you
tell
who we are, nor how I came hither, nor how
you proceeded to Light, for by that means you may
looſe your Liberty, and I my Life. And though I
diſtruſt not your faithfulneſs, and ſecrecy, yet I am
glad, that I have not finiſhed the Relation of my
Misfortunes, which in this only are fortunate, that
being as yet untold, are not ſubject to that diſcourſe
which may ſometimes inconſiderately fall from you.
Here therefore we will double down the leaf, until
the next occaſion, which cannot want in ſo long a.
Voyage.
E
By
50
The Spaniſh Critick.
A
By this time the near approach of the Fleet made.
thcir Voices more diſtinct and audible, which they
raiſed with greater acclamatians with the joy concei-
ved at their arrival: Men always grow more wan-
ton, when their ſucceſs promiſes faireft,and their en-
terprizes have the face of a happy iſſue;being come
jato the Road, they furled their Sails, and caſt
their Anchors, and the Pallengers began to land on
the deſired shoar: The meeting was as ſtrange
to the new-come Gueſts, as to the two Inhabitants;
who in the relation they gave of themſelves, decla-
red, that having been alleep, or negligent at the
departure of the laſt Fleet, they were left behind on
that Iſland, which account reconciled both their pity,
and their courteſie. Having thus for ſome days en-
tertained themſelves in Hunting, and furniſhed
their Vellels with freſh Water, and Wood, they ſet
to Sea, directing their courſe to deſired Spain.
Crițilo and Andrenio embarked together on the ſame
Gallion, which fort of Veſſel is a terror to its ene-
mies, the oppofer of the Winds, and a yoak of
ſubjection to the Ocean. The Voyage was as dan-
gerous as long, but the Relation which Critilo made
of the many Tragedies his life had palled, was a
good entertainment for tedious hours, which he pro-
fecuted in this manner.
$
I was born, (as I have already told you) amidſt of
✓this immenſe Golfe, and of the dangers and conti-
nual motions of this, turbulent Element. The rea-
ſon was, that my Parents being both
Critilo relates Spaniards, by conſent, and favour of
the Hiſtory of Philip the Great, the moſt univerſal
bir own Life.
and mighty Monarch, embarked for
the
8
The Spaniſh Critick.
51
the Indies with no ſmall Wealth to improve their
Fortunes. My Mother at that time lulpecting her
ſelf with Child, carried me in her Womb; and be-
fore the tedious Voyage was ended, brought me
forth, whoſe untimely birth was haſtsed by the
terrors of that Tempeſt, in which I came to light,
that ſo the raging of the Scas, might add pains to
the pangs of her Travail : My being born amidſo
this confuſion, was a bad omen of my future infeli-
cities, fo early began Fortune to play with my life,
hurrying me from one part of the World to the
other. At laſt we arrived at that rich and famous
City of God, which is the Court of the Catholick
Empire in the Eaſt, the Imperial and Auguſt Seat
or its Vice-kings, and univerſal Emporiuni of the
Indies, and its Richneſs. At this place lived my
Father, whoſe Stock, which he brought with him,
directed with Prudence, and induſtry , advanced
ſuddenly both his Fame, and Fortune. But I, being
educated amidſt the happineſs of a plentiful condi-
tion, and being the only Son of my parents, was
tenderly nurtured with too much care, and indul-
gence, whoſe fondneſs to me in my
Childhood, produced the fruits of Vicious Touth.
an exorbitant Youth. For being now
entered into the green champions of ſpringing
years, made wanton with delights, looſe and un-
curbed by the reigns of Reaſon, I fell into Gaming,
empairing my Eſtate, and abuſing the induſtry of
my Parents, whoſe cares obtained that with trouble,
which my folly ſquardred in paſtime. From this Vice
I palled to the vain toyes of Gallantry, and Faſhions,
dreſſing my Body with borrowed Feathers, whilſt í
neglected the true adornments and vertues of the
Soul. This vanity of mine was incited forward, by
E 2
the
52
The Spaniſh Critické
the evil converſation of ſome pretended Friends,
Flatterers, and Braves, the vile moths of an Eſtate,
Honour and Conſcience. The Wiſdom of my Father
prognoſticated the ruine of me his unfortunate Son,
and Family, from whoſe rigour I appealed to the
indulgent tenderneſs of my Mother, whoſe pro-
tection defended me not, but deſtroyed me.
Eut at that time my Father gave an end unto his
days, ſeeing but little hopes to recover me from my
deſperate condition, eſpecially as then being blindly
entangled within the Labyrinth of love, For I had
caſt my affections upon a Lady, though
The Amours of noble, beauteous, and as perfect as
Critilo. Nature could make her, yet wanting
the endowments of Fortune, ſhe ſhined
not in that luſtre to the World as to be adored,
and courted for them: only I alone idolized her
perſon, and my devotion grew more zealous by the
correſpondence of her favours: and though her Pa-
rents deſired to admit me into their Family, yet
mine refuſed to admit her into theits, endeavour-
ing by all means to wean my affections, which they
itiled my ruine,and by propoſing another Match more
fitted to their convenience, than my content, thought
to diſtract, or divert my love, which was ſo firm,
and blindly conſtant, that nothing could overcome :
I thought, I ſpake, I dreamed of nothing but Feli-
finda ( for ſo ſhe was called) eſteeming no ſmall
portion of my happineſs to conſiſt in the repetiti-
on of her name. This, and many other diſcontents
were heavy troubles of my aged Father (the ordi-
nary puniſhment of Paternal indulgence),which fate
ſo heavily on him, as to deprive him of his life and
me of my protection ; But yet the ignorance of my
Youth knew not how to make that eſtimate of my
loſs,
The Spaniſh Critick.
53
>
loſs as the importance of ſo great damage ought to
have affected me. My tender natured Mother be-
wailed, and performed the Obſequies of the dead
with tears ſufficient for us both; but with that ex-
ceſs, that her own life laſted not long after, leaving
me more free, and leſs fad. The undoubted hopes
of obtaining my Miſtreſs , were now by the re-
moval of thoſe obſtacles, ſome remedy of my grief,
and recompence of my loſs; but thoſe filial relpects
I owed to the memory of my dead Parents, and my
deſires to comply with the cenſures of the World,
made me for ſome days to retard my intentions
which ſeemed years and ages to my longing hopes. In
which interim my unconſtant Fortune fo changed
the condition of theſe preſent affairs, that the death
of my parents, which at firſt ſeemed to facilitate
my deſires, was that at laſt which put the obſtacle.
and reduced them to an Eſtate of almoſt impollible.
For it fortuned, that in a ſhort time the Brother of
my Miſtreſs died, a Gentleman well accompliſhed,
and noble, the ſole Heir of the Family, leaving my
Feliſinda Inheritrix of all, and Phenix
in all Ornaments, whoſe Beauty now
The Mufor.
joined with Riches, made her glory tunes of Criti-
to ſhine in the higheſt magnitude ; lo's Lovis.
her fame was greatly ſpread in one
day, being become a perſon that ſuited with the
moſt aſpiring ambition of that Court. This un-
expected accident intervening, things had a ſtrange
change, and the face of my affairs looked different,
to what they formerly promiſed; only the conſtan-
cy of Feliſinda was ſtable, and changed in nothing but
in greater kindneſs; her Friends and Parents aſpiring
now unto higher Matches, were the firſt who by
cold entertainments diſcountenanced my pretenſions
E 3
which
2
54
The Spaniſh Critick.
7
which they had formerly invited: this neglect pro-
ceeded afterwards to affronts and endeavours to move
in her a hatred of my perſon ;. but ſhe adviſed me of
all that might diſadvantage me made me ofą Lover to
become her Councellor. Many other. Rivals as
powerful as numerous declared themſelves; but Lo-
vers who were wounded more by thoſe Arrows
which were ſhot from the Quiver of her Portion,
than from the Bow of Love ; yet of all I was timo,
rous and fufpitious, love being naturally jealous,
and like an effeminate Paſſion apt to be foiled with
the leaſt diſappointment, but that which gave me
the greateſt blow, was the pretenſions of a new Ri-
val, who
beſides that he was comely, rich, and
youthful, he was Kinſman of the Vice-king, which is
there as niuch as to be allyed to a Deity, or to be a
· Branch of Divinity,whoſe Will is his Law,and whoſe
intentions are as ſoon executed, as conceived: he,
I say, began to declare himſelf a Pretender to my Mi-
ſtreſs, being as confident,as powerful; we both ſtood
at open defiance, he encouraged by the ſtrength of
his anthority, and I enabled with the Pallion of
Love : but his own, and the reaſon of others aſſu-
réa him, that this long rooted affection of mine
compleated with time, and converſation, was not
eaſily eradicated, unleſs diverted; to which effect,
he promiſed his beſt aſſiſtance, and favour to the
induſtry, and malice of my enemies; whoſe Plot
was by Law to pretend upon my Eſtate, and there,
by eịther to ſcare me out of the fits of Love, or at
leaſt to affright the Parents of Feliſinda from Match-
Ing her with me, over whom hanged an apparent
ruine. I foon perceived ny ſelf entangled within
two dangerous toils, of Intereſt, and Love; but
Love being that which moſt prevailed, the fear of
Jooſing
The Spaniſh Critick.
55
looſing my Eſtate was not ſtrong enough to contend
with the valour of my affection, which like the
Palm grew more under the heavy preſſure. But
what this plot wanted to avail with me, it worked
in the Parents of my Miſtreſs, who conſidering moſt
the conveniencies of Intereſt, and Honour, contri-
ved.
I know not how to proceed, it
will be better to leave off: But Andrenio, ſtill pref-
ſing him to proceed; Well, ſaid he, in fine, they
reſolved to kill me, and to deliver that life to my Ad..
verſary which was already conſecrated, and devo-
ted to my Miſtreſs; but ſhe acquainted me with the
deſign that night from her Balcony, and according to
her cuſtom conſulted with me concerning the remedy;
with which ſhe let fall ſuch a floud of tears, as kind-
led in my breaſt a firc, and hell of deípair, and fury,
ſo that the next day, not conſidering the inconve-
niencies, nor dangers of Hono!r or Life, but guided
by the blindneſs of my Paſſion,armed with my Sword,
or rather Thunderbolt, pierced through the Qui.
ver of Love, and whetted with anger and jealou-
ſie, I went in purſuit of my Enemy; and now re.
mitting diſputes to works, and our tongues to our
hands, we unſheathed oor Swords without remorſe,
and having made ſome few Palles cach at the other,
I ſoon pierced his heart, depriving him both of
Love, and Life, to that now I lay expoſed to the
Sentence of Juſtice ; whoſe Miniſters, deſirous to
content the Vice-king, and covetous to engroſs my
Eſtate, were ready at hand to execute their Offica.
I was preſently ſentenced to impriſon-
ment in a dark Dungeon, laden with The Fruit of
Bolts, and Irons, the natural Fruit of my Vice.
fooliſh raſhneſs, The ſad news foon
came to the ears of my Rivals Parents, who melted
E 4
56
The Spaniſh Critick.
74
in their ſighs and tears, and reſolving to revenge the
injury, continually thundred out threats againſt me
The Vice-king, alſo moved with the death of his
Kinſman, deſigned to proſecute Juſtice to the ut-
moſt extremity. The report of our Combat was
ſoon bruited abroad, and as mens affections led
them, they either condemned, or defended me;
but all were generally ſorry, that our Reaſon guided
us not better than ſo unfortunately to ruine each
other. Only my Miſtreſs was ſhe alone, that tri-
umphed in my valour, and celebrated the faithful-
neſs of my affection, and conſtancy. The Charge
was ſtrongly proſecuted againſt me, of which being
convicted, my Eſtate became their Prey, and my
Riches a ſacrifice to their revenge, venting their
malice thereupon, as the angry Bull
At the Sports
doth on the Cloak of his eſcaped
of Bulls in
Enemy. The ſole ſupport which re-
Spain, tbey a mained unto me, were ſome Jewels,
void often the
which providently I had entruſted
Horns of the
within the ſacred Walls of a Monaſte
Bul. by tbrow-
ing their Cloaks ry, the only Relique of my ſhip-
away.
wracked Fortune. The violence of
this Storm ſtopped not at the ruine
of my Eſtate, but proceeded to a condemnation of
my Life; and having loſt my Goods, I loſt alſo my
Friends, which are Companions inſeparable each
from the other, but all this had not yet abated my
Courage, had not ſomething more unhappy aug-
mented my Misfortunes : For the Parents of Feli,
Finde diſcontented at the accidents and diſgraces
lately paſt, reſolved to leave the Indies, and ſeek
more quietneſs, and preferment in Spain which they
hoped to procure by the favour, and recommenda.
ţions of the Vice-king, so thật having converted
their
The Spaniſh Critick.
57
A
their Eſtate into Money, they embarked on the
firſt Fleet leaving me
With that his ſighs
interrupted his Speech, and his tears gave a full
ſtop unto his diſcourſe: At laſt, ſaid he, they car-
ried with them two Pledges of my Soul,wh:ch doubled
my grief, and made it more fatal; one was Feliſinda
herſelf, and the other was, the Burden which ſhe bore
in her Womb,miſerable only for being mine. They
being in this manner ſet to Sea, had their wind
increaſed by the ſtorms of my Breaſt, whom whilſt
I leave engolfed in the Ocean, I was drowned in
the Sea of my tears, remaining eternally condem-
ned to darkneſs, and a Dungeon, poor and forſaken,
forgotten of all, but the malice, and hatred of my
Enemies.
As he who falling from a Mountain, ſcatters his
ſpoils on every ſtone , here his Hat, ,
There his Cloak, there his Eyes, and The Ruine
Hands, till at laſt he looſes his life, mbich Love
and burſts in pieces at the bottom. brings.
Even ſo, I ſliding from the dangerous
Clifts of this Ivory Rock,more to be feared, becauſe
delightful,rowled my ſelf from one misfortune to an-
other, left on every ſtone teſtimonies of my Ruine,
sin Goods, Honour, Health, Parents, Friends, and
Liberty, till I arrived at this grave, and priſon, the
Labiſs and pit of my Miſeries. Yet I may truly ſay,
that though Wealth corrupted my happineſs, and
raiſed enemies to throw troubles on me; yet Pover-
ty reſtored me to a better conditions for here I
found Wiſdom, unto which, till now, the extra-
vagance of Youth had made me a Stranger; here
I andeceived my ſelf, and gained experience and
health
:
58 The Spaniſh Critick.
health both of body and Soul: and being aban-
doned of all living Society, I converſed with the
dead, and by reading I began to underſtand, and
to become rational, having only before led the
ſenſitive life; ſo that having extracted ſome know-
ledge, my underſtanding was enlightned, and my
will was obedient to the dictates of it, one being
replete with Wiſdom, and the other with Virtue :
and ſo I opened my eyes when there was nothing to
fée, and ſo it happens often. I ſtudied the noble
Arts, and ſublime Sciences, devoting my ſelf with
great allection to Moral Philoſophy, which is the
Food of the Judginent, the Centre of Realon, and
the Life of Discretion. Třeformed my lelf from
the vain Society of my Companions; inſtead of a
wanton Youth, I choſe a ſevere Cato, in place of a
Thallow wit, a wiſe Seneca; ſometimes I peruſed
Socrates, anon Divine Plato, eaſing in this manner
my tedious hours, and recreating my ſelf in that
grave of the living, and labyrinth of liberty. Years
paſſed, and Vice-kings, but ſtill continued the ri-
gour
of
my Adverſaries ; for they prolonged the
hearing of my Cauſe, and ſince they could arrive
no higher, they reſolved to linger out my days in
Priſon, and convert my Dungeon into my Grave.
But at the end of ſome years miſeries, came an Or-
der from Spain, obtained by the ſecret Negotiation
of my Miſtreſs, that my Cauſe and Perſon ſhould
Die remitted thither. The new Vice-king being leſs
iny Enemy, and more favourable, put it in executi-
on, and diſpatched me away in the firſt Fleet, com-
mitting me a Priſoner to the charge of the Captain
of the ship. Thus parted I from the Indies, the
firſt from that place, poor, and necellitous,to whom
tha
1
4
The Spaniſh Critick 59
but all in vain; for my low Arms not being 2018
the dangers of the Seas ſeemed Entertainments and
Pleaſures. My affable diſpoſition foon gained me
Friends, and thoſe that were delighted WIEN Truth,
were attentive Auditors of my Lectures of Morali-
ty ; but above all, the Captain of the Admiral-
fhip made me his Confident, a favour which I much
eſteemed, and verified the truth of that common
ſaying, That Fortune ofren changes with the place ;
and that our deſigns can never be proſperous , whilſt
we lide under the influenee of a malevolent Star. But
here ſit, and admire a prodigy of humane fraud,
an extremity of malice, the fpight, and quarrel of
a contrary Fortune, and the full point and period
to which the preamble of my miſeries tended; for
this Captain being a Gentleman obliged in all
points of honour to treat me civilly and fairly,
yet puffed with ambition, and infected with the
fame rancour, and malice which the former Vice-
king my enemy, and his Kinſman boar me, or ra-
ther incited with a coretous deſire to inherit the
ſmall remainder of my Eſtate, which I had ſaved
from the ſtorms of my late Shipwrack, was induced
to put in execution the lowelt, and moſt unbumane
of all unworthineſs; For ſtanding together with him
one day, on the Quarter-deck, entertaining each
other with diſcourſe, and with the proſpect of the
Seas, he ſurprized me unawares, and threw me into
the Sea : and that he might cover this Treachery,
he called out too late for aliftance to ſave my life;
At his call came his Mariners and my Friends, who de-
ſirous to help me threw out their Cables and Ropes,
to follow the ſwift Sails of the flying Ship, I was
left ftriving with the Waves, and Death: but one
of
3
60
The Spaniſh Critick.
of thoſe Planks which they threw out, as the laſt
hopes, and means to preſerve me, was my facred
anchor, and ſupport, which the compaſſionate
Waves preſented to my innocence, the deſperate, yet
wellcome refuge of my loſt hopes, the which I kiſ-
ſing, laid, On thee will I lay my ſelf, the Coffin of
this Body. Having thus ſmall hopes to reach the
Ship, I ſuffered my ſelf to be carried by the Waves,
and my own Fortune; which not contented to re-
duce me unto this point of extremity, but venting
the reſt of her tyranny, called all the Elements to
conſpire againſt me in ſuch a Tempelt, as if her in-
tent was not only to deſtroy me,but firſt to exerciſe
on me all the train, and folemnity of miſeries. The
Waves ſometimes tolled me ſo high, that I feared
to be daſhed againſt the Points of the Moon, or
bruiſed againſt the Heavens; anon I deſcended to
the Centre of the Earth, and again raiſed to that
"heigth, that I feared more to be burned with the
heat of Heaven, than drowned in the Waters of
the Sea. But as theſe rigours, of which I have fo
much complained, have gratiouſly been converted
into favours, fo the bluſtering ſtorms have ſome-
times broke up in a mild calm: for miſeries often
times have ſo exceeded, and ſo over-acted, and
trained their part, that misfortunes themſelves
have paſſed into bleſſings. I tell you this becauſe
the fury of the Tempeſt, and current of the Waters
ſo violently carried me, that in a few hours I came
to the ſight of this little Ife, for otherwiſe it had
been impoſſible for me, before I had periſhed with
cold, and hunger to have ſteered my Veſſel
without Oars or Sails, or Rudder, unto this place,
which is your Country, and my Heaven : but in
the Bad confifted the Good, my courage helping
:
mei
$
The Spaniſh Critick.
61
me more than my ſtrength, I ſheltered my ſelf
in the Port of your Arms, in which I deſire a thou-
fand times more to be embraced, and to confirm
our friendſhip to all eternity. In this manner Cri-
tilo gave an end to his Relation, and embracing
each other, they renewed their firſt enjoyment,
finding within themſelves a mutual ſimpathy of
love, and contentment. They paſſed the reſt of
their Voyage in profitable exerciſes, and beſides,
their pleaſing diſcourſes, which were all but a
continued Lecture of Inſtructions, he taught him
ſome knowledge of the World, and the Rudiments
of thoſe Arts which inſpire and enrich the Soul ;
as Hiſtory, Coſmography, the Sphere, and chicfly
that which moſt becomes a Man, namely Moral Phi-
lofophy; but that to which Andrenio was moſt intent,
and ſtúdious in, was to learn the Tongues, as La-
tin, that cternal
Treaſury of Wiſdom, Spaniſh, as
univerſal as its Empire; the courtly French, and
eloquent Italian, which he made uſe of as Keyes to
open that Treaſure which is incloſed in them; and
ſometimes for his convenience, and uſe, to paſs
over the various Countries of the World. The
curioſity Andrenio had, was as great as his docility;
ſo that he was always conferring, and asking con-
cerning the Provinces, Republicks, Monarchies, and
Cities, and of their Kings, and Governors, ſtill im.
proved himſelf with as much delight, as novelty,
defiring to arrive at the higheſt point of Wiſdom,
and Underſtanding. In this pleaſant employ-
ment they contentedly paſſed the tediouſneſs of
this Voyage, who at their uſual time arrived
in this part of the World. Whole various fuc-
celles, and events are related in the following
Criſis,
The
Como
62
The Third CHRISIS.
The Entrance into this World.
:
:
Ature hath dealt ſubtly, if not fraudulently
with Man, by decoying him into the World
in a condition of Ignorance: for he enters in ob
fcurity, and blindnels, and begins to live before he
is fenfible of his life, or knows, what it is to live ;
his fond childiſhneſs is huſht with every trifle, and
Julled afleep with a toy. She makes him believe,
that fhe hath led him into a Kingdom of felicities,
which prove but miferies to enſlave him, which when
the eyes of mans judgment diſcovers, he finds him-
ſelf defrauded, and engaged without remedy , pla-
ced in that dirt out of which he was formed, and
can now only trample on it, and endeavor on the
beft conditions to eſcape. I am perfwaded were
it not for this univerſal Policy, none would upon
ſuch hard conditions adventure to tread this de-
ceitful World, were they forewarned of thofe diffi-
culties they were to undergo. For who being firſt
acquainted with theſe infallible inconveniencies
would rafhly precipitate himſelf into this feigned
Kingdom, and true Priſon, wherein to ſuffer both
multitudes, and varieties of punifomencs, as in the
body, hunger, thirſt, cold, heat, nakedneſs, grief,
in-
63
The Spaniſh Critick.
i
infirmities; in the mind, deceits, perfecutions , en-
vies, contempts, diſhonours, melancholy, fear, an-
ger, deſperation, and at the end of all to eſcape
o it by the paſſage of a miſerable Death, with the
loſs of our goods, houſes, honours, friends, parents,
nay of life it felf, which then fies froin us, when
we moſt purſue it. Nature knew well what the
proffered, and what evil man accepted. For he
who were aware of this condition, would rather
then paſs theſe miſeries, ſtep at once from his
Cradle to his Urn, or from his Marriage-bed into
his Grave. The tears which he drops at his Birth,
are common preſages of his ſucceeding mileries.
The happieft that are born to great Inheritance,
enter but on a fad Poffeſſion, and the Muſick which
wellcomes this King Man into the World, is compoſed
of his own cries, and tears, which fore-run his
troubles, and denote the future unhappineſs of his
Kingdom. For what can that life be to which the
groans of his Mother give a Being, and the weep-
ings of the Child, which receives it ; though he
hath no knowledge to conceive his misfortunes, hath
yet a Prophetick fpirit to divine them.
We are now (faid the wiſe Criti o, to the unexpe-
rienced Andrenio) arrived in the world, when they
firft diſembarked and ſtept on the Sands of Spain;
I am forry that your underſtanding fo ripe enters
into this Country, for thereby you muſt needs be
moſt fenfible of the diſſatisfaction, and emptineſs
of things; whatſoever the fupream Artiſt hath un-
dertaken to perform, hath been compleated in the
greateſt heighth, and meaſure of perfection ; but
the invention of man hath begun what he can ne-
ver be capable to perfect. What God hath or
derly difpofed, the unquietneſs of man to the far-
theft
64 The Spaniſh Critick.
theſt extent of his power hath ſtrained it ſelf to
trouble, and confound, and what through his ina-
bility he could not reach, his working fancy hath
endeavoured to diforcer.You have ſeen hitherto the
works of nature,admired and contemplated on them;
now obſerve thoic of Art the artificalskillot Men,and
comparing those of Men, and God together, your
own Reaſon will diſtinguiſh one from ths other.
Oh what a valt diſtance and diffe-
The World, Cin rence you will find between the Civil,
vil,and Moral. and the natural World, between the
Humane, and the Divine; this !
thought fit to adviſe you , that you may not ad-
mire whatſoever it is, you ſee, nor be diſcouraged
by any accidents that befal you.
Thus being entered upon their journey, they
reaſoned themſelves into a Path plain and beaten,
the firſt they met with, wherein Andrenio obſerved
that in all the ways and paths of Men, the footſteps
ſeemed to bend forward, and none backwards, a ſign
that thoſe who followed them, never returned. Not
far had they paſſed before there offered a ſtrange
Encounter, yet very pleaſing and diverting, name-
ly, a diſordered band of childiſh infantry, a ſqua-
dron of Children made up of different Conditions
and Nations, a Babiloniſ confuſion both of Faſhions,
and Languages: the Governeſs, and Protectreſs of
theſe was a Woman, of a courteous aſpect, chear-
ful countenance, kind words, pious care, who dili-
gently over-eyed, and watched her Charge, with
the greateſt careſſes and love, that could be expref-
fed from a moſt indulgent Mother. The Servants
which ſhe had procured to be alliſtant to her, were
of the ſame good diſpoſition, and nature like her,
who ſtill attended to this helpleſs board; thoſe that
could
.
The spaniſh Critick.
69
܀
çould not go, they carried in their Arms, and ſuch
as could walk they led by the hand. It was won-
derful to obſerve the tender Bowels of this common
Mother, whole fole thoughts and deſires were to
pacifie their unreaſonable complaints, which ſhe
huſht with a thouſand toyes, and baubles, which ſhe
had provided for them together with Comfects,and
Sweet-meats, with which no ſooner any cried, than
immediately ſhe applied herſelf to pacifie it ; but a
more ſpecial care ſhe took of fomc of greater
Finery and Bravery than the reſt, which ſeemed
the Sons, and Offspring of more noble Families,
which ſhe ſo indulgently contented, as in nothing to
teſtrain their deſires, ſuch was the care, and em-
braces of this pious Mother, that the natural Pa-
rents would reſign their truſt into her Arms, in
whoſe they eſteemed them more ſecure, than in
their own. Andrenio was much pleaſed to ſee the
Marches of this tender Infantry, admiring, and con-
templating on the childiſh Age of Man, and caking
one into his Arms, wrapped in his Mantles, faid
tº Critilo, is it poſlible this ſhould be a Man? who
would believe it ? is it likely this almoſt fenfeleis
Creature, this unprofitable Member of the World
ſhould with time put on the gravity of Caton, and
his babling Tongue perſwade with the cloquence of
a Seneca, or of a Count Monterrey? Now you may
fee, ſaid Critilo,what it coſts to become a Man: for
to be fo, is not the work of a moments ſpace ;
Brytes ſoon attain their Perfection, and with agi-
lity and Itrength of Body live, and move; but
Mans accompliſhments are of a higher value than
naturally to grow upon him, or to ſurprize him at
unawares. I did much admire, faid Andrerio, this
fond affection of this rare Woman, and the unna-
F
tural
66
The Spaniſh Critick.
tural bowels of Mothers in compariſon of hers: So
that I who was born within the hard bowels of the
Rocks, and nurtured among Beaſts, began to 'envy
this felicity, and to wiſh a recal of my years, only
to deliver my helpleſs age to the protection of her
Arins; for I have been expoſed to bunger, cold, na-
kedneſs, and alloliath ſeemed to ſtop their ears un-
to my cries, nothing endeavouring to pacifie my
tender peeviſhneſs, or to comply with the weak
fimplicity of my humour. Do not envy, ſaid Crim
tilo, that which as yet you know not, nor ſtile that
a happineſs whoſe end and event is uncertain; for
there are many things in the World which bear a
different face to what really they are, as you will
find by experience; being now come into the World
to live, ſee, and obſerve : this youthful croud
travelled, without ſtay, or refreſhment, traverſing
the Country, but ſtill deſcending downward; it was
wonderful to ſee this Pigmy band march ſo ſtoutly,
and that for all the weary ſteps they fetched, none ti-
red, nor deſired repoſe: they always gave them meat,
which for being all the day, may be called but once.
At length, after they had traverſed much ground,
they found themſelves in a deep Vally, fortified
about with high Mountains, the higheſt of this
univerſal Road; by this time it was night, and then
the deep profundity of the place
The Deſcripti- made the darkneſs more horrible:
of Natural this deceitful Woman, the greateſt
Inclination,
Impoſtor of humane kind,and Trayte-
reſs to this tender Nurſery, made her
Sign ; upon which ruſht out from the Wood, and
diſmal Dens, an Army of Lyons, Tygers, Bears,
Wolves, Serpents, and Dragons, which mercilefly
ſet on this unreſiſting force, and difarmed Bands of
0.
In-
The Spaniſh Critick.
67
Innocents, who in a horrible Mallacre burſt them-
ſelves, with draughts of their Bloud, for ſome they
dragged, others they toar in pieces; the Bloud
of ſome they ſucked ; and when their ravenous
ſtomachs were ſatiated, they ſported them-
ſelves with the Plenty of their Feaſt; there
was one Monſter that ſwallowed down two at once,
and not ſufficiently filled with theſe, extended his
Paws to encloſe others : another Beaſt chewed one
in his Teeth, whilſt his Claws were preparing an-
other for his Palate; and the reſt ran furiouſly
about this tragick Theatre, drivelling out the over-
Howing Bloud, and laden with two or three apiece,
the reliques of their plenteous Fare, they carried to
feed their Savage-wlielps ; great was the confuſion,
and fad, and cruel was the Spectacle of theſe In.
nocents. And yet ſuch was the fond fimplicity,
and humour of the Infants, that they eſteemed this
deſtruction and ruine to be a paſtime, and a de-
light, or ſport to be devoured, with Nods to in-
vite their cruelty, and with open Arms to meet half
way the approach of Death.' Andrenió was much
aſtoniſhed at the horrid Treaſon of ſuch an unex-
pected Cruelty, and being by the diligence of Critilo
retired to a ſecure place, thus fighed, and ſaid, o
traiterous, barbarous, and facrilegious Woman,
more cruel and unhumane than the Beaſts them
felves! is this the Fruit of ſo much care, and were
theſe toyles, and indulgencies for no intent, or end
but this? O innocent Lambs! how ſoon were you
made a victim, and facrifice of your Miſfortunes ?
how ſoon were you betrayed to an untimely Ruine?
O deceitful World, is this the Fruit you bear, and
do you protect thoſe who dare to attempt fuch hor-
rid Cruelties? My own hạnds shall revenge this fin;
witha
F2
68
The Spaniſh Critick.
tue,
with that he furiouſly aroſe to deſtroy the Tyrant-
Mother, whoſe known guilt haftned her fight ,
and with the reſt of her alliftants, went in purſuit
of more, which ſhe had already ſold to the cruelty
of thoſe deſtroyers, ſo that ſhe ſtill ſupplyed the
hunger of theſe Beaſts, whoſe ſtomachs continually
craved; whilſt Andrenio lamented this irreparable
damage.
Amidſt of this horrid confuſion, and cruel Mal-
facre appeared on the other ſide of the Vally, over
the top of the higheſt Mountain, with the dawn-
ing of the day, another Woinan of a different na-
turc, who encompaſſed with light and
The romer of attended with a train of Servants, ,
Grace and Vir which winged flew to the ſpeedy deli-
ry of theſe periſhing Infants, her
countenance was chearful, though
Majeſtick, and being dreſſed with rowes of Pearls,
and Diamonds, fent forth ſuch emiſſions and rays
of Light, that ſhe inight well ſtand in competition
with, or ſupply the place, and abſence of Aurora.:
ſhe was beautiful above meaſure, and with her more
glorious Light outfhone the beauty of her atten-
ding Miniſters. O fortunate accident! for at the
fame inſtant that theſe murdering Beaſts perceived
her approach, they left their Prey, and betaking
themſelves to their legs, with yells and cries reti-
red to their Dens; then ſhe began with fingular
diligence to collect the ſcattered Reliques, which
were few, and thoſe goared, and lanced with ga-
ping wounds. The reſt of her Attendants, with
the like care ſearched their obſcure Dens, and
wreſting ſome from the very jaws and mouths of
Monſters, faved and protected' thoſe in whom they
ſaw the leaſt breath, or pantings of life; but An-
drenia
The Spaniſla Critick.
69
4
drexio obſerved, that theſe were thoſe of the mean-
eſt Rank and Condition, and moſt neglected by
that curſed Mother, which the Beaſts eſteemed of
a more courſe Diet, having already made their Fcaſt
of the more delicious diſh of her pampared care;
when ſhe had collected them altogether, ſhe made
no ſtop, nor delay to clear them from danger; nor
did ſhe ſtay, till Mhe had conducted them to the top
of the Mountain, as being moſt fecure. From thence
the placed them in the vicw, and by the Rayes of
Light ſhe had infuſed into them,making them ſenſi-
ble of their reſcued Condition, and of that danger,
to which their Ignorance had betrayed them. They
being thus ſecured, the preſented to everyone
thoſe pretious Stones, which were Preſervatives
againſt any danger, and which darted forth fucń
Rayes of Light, that they made the Night, Day,
and were the more eſtimable, becauſe they were
not obnoxious to corruption, or decay. She re-
commended them to the tuition of wiſe Governors,
who ſhould direct, and lead them ſtill upwards, till
they arrived to the grand City and Metropolis of
the World ; at the fame inſtant they were again
alarmed by the cries of more periſhing Infants, in
the ſame fatal, and diſinal Valley; which this vali-
ant and pious Queen no ſooner heard, but with the
reſt of her Amazons ſhe marched to defend and ſuc-
Andrenie was greatly aſtoniſhed at this ſight,
and wondered to ſee the variety of Fortune, and
the ſucceſlive exchanges of happineſs and miſeries
of this life? What two Women are theſe, faid
he, and what ſtrange Viſions are theſe of different
Apparitions. Tell me Critilo, who was the firſt,
that I may hate, and abhor her, and who is the
ſecond, that I may honour and adore her, what
cour.
F 3
da
70
The Spaniſh Critick.
do you think, ſaid Critilo, of this entrance into
the World, is it not agreeable to thoſe many ad-
monitions and relations I have already delivered
you? Obſerve well the paſſages, and ſtate of things
here,and if ſuch be the beginning, tell me what you
conceive may be the progreſs and concluſion; that
To you may always live awake, and be readily pro-
vided againſt the aſſaults of enemies. You deſire
to know, who was the firſt unnatural and cruel
Mother, whom you at the firſt ſight ſo much ap-
plauded; hereafter be not ſo raſh in your cenſures, but
fee the concluſion before you either undertake to
commend, or diſpraiſe any; know then that this
Arſt Tyrant is our own bad Inclination, and Pro-
penſity to Evil, this is ſhe, that takes advantage on
the unripe underſtanding of Infancy, rages, and
triumphs in the spoils, to that degree, that the
fond impertinency of the Parents, would rather
ſuffer their Son to live in his folly, than to diſpleaſe
his Palate with the bitter Pills and remedies of
Correction, ſo that they commit him to his own
Will, and rather' not contradict his Humour , than
that he ſhould cry or be diſpleaſed. And in this
manneş Vice, Choler, Gluttony, Deccit, Fraud, and
Peeviſhneſs get ground upon him, and he becomes
fwelled with Ignorance, and Self-conceit. " And
thus the Pallions having gained ſtrength, are ſecond-
ed by Paternal connivance, whereby the evil of de-
praved Nature prevailing, allures the tender Infant
into the Vally of Beaſts to be made a Prey unto Vice;
and a Slave to Paſſions.
But when Reaſon breaks forth, which is the Queen
of Light, the Mother of undeceived
Ibe Aurora of Judgment, with the Vertues hier Com-
fc. panions The reſcues our 'depraved
$
Wills
The Spaniſh Critick.
71
*
Wills from the jaws of Vice,and heals thoſe Wounds
which are almoſt incurable. She finds no ſinall re-
ſiſtance, and oppoſition to withdraw them from the
claws of their evil inclinations, and greater diffi-
culty to direct their ſteps to the top, and ſecure ha-
bitations of Virtue ; but the way being ſteep an 1
difficult, many are diſcouraged in the journey, and
return again to opprobious Vice, moſt whereof are
Rich, the Sons of Monarchs and Princes, whoſe
ſmiling proſperity, and plentiful fare, is the
Food, and Nouriſhment for Vice: but others, who
are born poor, and under the rigours of a ſevere
Step-mother, do moſt uſually prevail, and like a
Hercules, ſtrangle their ſerpent Pallions in the very
Cradle. But what was that precious Stone (demand-
ed andrexio) that ſhe hath recommended to us with
ſo much earneſtneſs. Know, anſwered Critilo, that
what ſome have fabulouſly reported of the virtue
of certain Stones, is verified in theſe ; for this is
the true Carbuncle whoſe rayes and light ſcatter
the Clouds of Ignorance, and vice; this is the
true Diamond which reſiſts the Hammer of Vice;
and amidſt the fires, and heats of Paſſion, comes
forth more pure, and refined. This is the Touch-
ſtone to examine the Good, and Bad: This is the
Load-ſtone which is always attentive
to the North of Vertue. In fine, The Dictate of
this is the Jewel of all Vertues,which. Keaſon.
the Philoſophers call the Dictate of
Reaſon, the moſt faithful and true friend in whom
we may confide. Thus they went on conferring,
and diſcourſing together, till they came to a croſs-
way, where the Paths were divided, and the diver-
fities of life diſtinguiſhed, it was a notable knot of
difficulty, yet not ſo much difcernable by the Un
derſtanding,
.
*
E
72
The Spaniſh Critick.
2
derſtanding, as by the choice and election of the
Will. But here their doubt was the more encrea-
fed, by that common tradition of being but two
Ways, one plain and ſmooth, on the left hand,
with a deep Deſcent, and the other on the right
hand, rugged and ſtony, of a ſteep Aſcent; but
with no firall admiration, Critilo obſerved that here
were three ways, which did the more confound him
in his election : Heavens guide me now ſaid he, is
not this the difficult Bivium, where Hercules
himſelf loſt his way; he looked behind, and
before, and privately demanded of himſelf, Is
not this the Letter by which Pythagor 18
Tbe Letter. deſcribed, and cyphered Wiſdom
which hitherto proceeds cqual, and
afterwards divides it ſelf into two Branches, one
broad, which is Vice,and the other narrow, which
is Virtue, but the ends are differently diſtinguiſhed,
one concludes in puniſhment, and the other honoured,
and rewarded with a Crown. Hold, ſaid he, where
are thoſe bound marks of Epictetus , the Abtine in
the
way of Delight, and the Sulting in the path
of
Veſtue. Well, ſaid he, we are come to ſuch times
of change, that the very Kings High-ways are al-
tered. What is that heap of Stones, demanded
Andrenio, which ſtops up the middle of the way?
let us gin thither, ſaid Critilo, for this is the ſign of
the Gold Vial, by which he calls and directs us. This
is the myſterious heap of Mercury, in which our
wiſe Anceſtors made a Hierogliphick of Wiſdom,
ſtanding with a ſtretched out hand to point us out
the way, or as the clue of thread to guide us out
of this Labyrinth into Heaven. But to what pur-
poſe, replyed Andrenio, is this unprofitable di-
tection of the way, which ſerves only to confound or
make
The Spaniſl
. Critick.
73
make the unwary traveller to ſtumble? Theſe are figh-
ing (anfwered Critilo ) the Stones which Pilgrims caſt
up, in tribute, and reward to the Inſtructors of
Truth and Virtue ; for ſuch is the envy and man
lice to Piety, that the very Itones are raiſed in op-
poſition againt them. Let us go round this Pillar,
and ſee if the Oracle can give us light in this diffi-
culty. Critilo read the inſcription, which ſaid, in
all things thers is a Mean, depart not to the Ex-
tremes. This Pillar was from the top to the bot-
tom carved with great Artifice, and rarity, and the
Ground-works and Materials not unworthily re-
fined with that curioſity of Art. In it were en-
graved many fententious Aphoriſins,
and alluſive Hiſtories, which Andrenio Tbe Goldex
admired, and Critilo commented on
Mediocrity,
mbich is ibe
with much perſpicuity, and clear- Art Rule of
neſs. Hereon was repreſented that Life.
raſh and inconſiderate Youth, who
niounted the Chariot of the Sun, and his grave
Father admoniſhing him to keep the middle way in
which he ſhould drive fecure. This was, ſaid Cri-
tilo, a Youth who ambitiouſly entring into Govern-
ment, and not obſerving that Mean of Prudence,
according to the Rule, and Example his experienced
Predeceffors had inſtructed him, loſt the Reigns and
Bounds of Reaſon, and by immoderate impoſition
of Tributes, contracted ſuch clouds and vapours of
Envy,that he conſumed all and loſt both the World,
and his Command ; on the other ſide was falling
the unwinged Icarus, palling from one Extreme un-
to another, from the Fire, into the water, being
Deaf to the cries of Dedalus, who admoniſhed him to
keep the middle. This is another commented Cri-
tilo, who not contented with a convenient Know-
ledge,
MER
74
The Spaniſh Critick.
ledge, but endeavouring to foar too high in un-
groumded ſubtleties, and aerious motions, his Wings
Hiling him, tumbled down with all his Chimera's
into the briniſh Sea of tears, and miſeries. This is
famous Cleobulus , who in anſwer to three Epiſtles
in which a King had demanded his Ade
Modu. vice, in three more only wrote Modus,
as being a moſt ſecure way and rule
for his Government. Obſerve well one of thoſe
feven Worthies of Greece, who is eternally Chro-
nicled, for that one Sentence, In all things avoid
Exceſs; as if to exceed were more dangerous, than
to be deficient. Thereon alſo were engraved all the
Vertues, every one with their Motto on their Tar-
gets, and Banner, and ſet in order between their
too vițious Extremes; at the bottom of all ſtood
Valour, who between the Extremes of deſperation,
and cowardiſe, leaned on a Pillar, or Support, as a
Tower, or Fortreſs to defend the reſt; at the top
of all láte Prudence, who as a Queen held a preti-
ous Crown in her hand, with this Inſcription, For
bim who knows a Mediocrity in Wealth. There were
many other Inſcriptions, which were definitions of
Artifice and Wit; above all a happy, and ſerene
felicity crowned this curious Woung leaning on the
wiſe and famous Worthies of paſt Ages, and ſup-
ported on each ſide with the two Extremes of Lamen-
tation, and Laughter, whoſe Atlaſſes were Heraclitus,
and Democritus, one weeping and the other laughing.
Andrenio took much contentment to fee, and conſider
the Epitome of Life ſo fully deſcribed, in this mi-
raculous Oracle;but by this time were crowded toge-
ther a multitude of people, who without conſulting
any other Deity than their own Will, ran headlong
through the Extremes, blinded with falle ſpectacles,
and
::
The Spaniſh Critick.
75
B
and delight. And firſt enters on who without inform-
ing himſelf of any thing, with inconſiderate folly
paſſed through thoſe Extremes which the general
eſteemed the worſt, who being the
Preſumptuous, was the fooneſt loſt : Preſumptuous.
After him followed a vain Bluſterer,
who with ſome few Courtelies, and
handſome Air, and Behaviour, with- The Vain.
out asking any queſtion took the
higheſt way, but being hollow, and empty, was
by a ſudden puff of wind, blown down, and being
high, and ſo in view of all, was in his fall enter-
tained with the common ſcorn and deriſion of the
World. There was one way much over-grown with
Briars, and Thorns, whichwhile
An-
drenio perfwaded himſelf none would Revengeful.
take , he ſaw ſome paſſionately bent
to Tottowic, ftriving one with other who ſhould go
foremoft. The path of track of Beales Teemed
the
moſt ſmooth and beaten, and when one was asked
why he went that way? he anſwered him, becauſe
he would not go alone. Next to this, was another
path, but ſhort, and all that paſt it
made great proviſion for their Bellies, Gluttonout.
þut they journied not far, for more
died with Surfets, and Intemperance, than with
Want and Hunger. Some pretended to fly through
the Air, but their heads growing giddy, fell down,and
theſe for the moſt part neither remained in Heaven,
nor an the Earth. There were others who hurried
through a pleaſant, and deſitious
plain, entertaining and ſporting Coverore,
themſelves wịth Meadows and Gar-
ens, till their extravagant motion over-heating
their Bloud, cafted them into Fevers, ſo that their
fair
76
The Spaniſh Critick.
Covetour.
*
fair complections became diſcoloured, and ſwarfy,
and their faces bad, for having made them good.
Not far off ſome complained of a dangerous paſſage,
infefted with Thieves and Robbers, who motwith-
ſtanding ventered on, and at the end turned all to
the ſame Profeffion, one deſtroying
and pillaging the other. But Art-
drenio obſerved with much admirati-
on, and Critito with pleafure, that ſome were dili-
gently inquiſitive to find out thoſe who could in-
form them which was the way of infallible ruine;
one would think it had been to avoid it; but it
happened out contrary, for as if there had been a
neceſſity of their deſtruction, they took the very
high-way that lead them to it. Andrenio ſeeing
ſome of them to be of great condition and quality,
asked them why they went that way? who anſwer-
ed, they did not go, but were carried by force; nor
was leſs ridiculous that Circle that others moved in,
who winding in a continual compafs, rounding like
a Wheel, never paſſed forward, but reeling in a
circumference, could not arrive to the Point, and
Centre of Vertue. There were others who never
found the way, but as ſoon as they
Țbe Idle.
began to ſet forward, ſtopped, and
gave over their
farther progreſs. Theſe
with their hands in their boſoms, ſluggiſhly mo-
ved their unnimble legs, which weary of doing
nothing, being ſick with the Scurvy of Sloth, faint-
ed before they accompliſhed their intents. Another
ſaid out of love to curioſity he would tread thoſe paths
which none had done before him ; but
Humour fome. being ruled by none but his capriti.
ons Humoar, was foon ruined and
loft
The Spaniſh Critick.
77
loft. Do you not obſerve Critilo, that all follow
in moſt prepoſterous ways, and run upon thoſe
Extrcams which naturally they diſaffect and
refuſe. The Fool becomes preſumptuous of his
Parts and Knowledge, and the Wile, out of a
diſtruſtful confidence, is reſerved and ſilent; the
Coward affects Valour, and only talks of Arms
and War, whilſt the Valiant diſdains them : the
Comely affect a decent negligence in their Dreſs,
and the ill-favoured ſet out their defects, with helps
and advantages, and think they exceed the very
Sun in glory and Splendor : the Prince affects a
Courteous humility, and the common and ignoble
fort vaunt themſelves as if they were of more then
mortal Race: the Eloquent are ſilent; and the lg-
norant take on them the whole Diſcourſe : the
Dexterous is diffident of his Art, and the Unskilful
fills the World with the unpoliſht pieces of his rude
hand. In fine, you will ſee all run through Extre-
mities, which is the courſe of Error, and which
ſtrays from the way of life. But let us paſs through
the moſt ſecure way, the moſt plauſible and happy
Mediocrity, happy in that it can contain it feif in
a prudent Mean. There were few whom they could
perſwade to follow them; yet as ſoon as they ſaw
thementer on that Path, they felt a more than ordina-
ry fence of Comfort, and ſatisfaction of Conſcience
which tranſported their Affections; they obſerved,
that beſides thoſe pretious Jewels which adorned
them, they were no leſs glorious with the rich En-
dowments and Abilities of Reaſon, which began
to fhine, in that degree, that every one feemed a
gliſtering Star, forming Tongues in his rayes, cry-
ing.ont, this is the way of Truth, and the Truth
of
78 The Spaniſh Critick.
R
of life. On the contrary all thoſe that followed
the Proſpects, and Glaſſes of their own Brain, ſoon
loſt their Eyes, and sight, that they blindly wan-
dred, and were Eclipſed both in their Judgment
and Journy. Andrenio always obſerving that they
went upward, This, ſaid he, ſeems rather a way
to bring us to Heaven then to the Earth. So it
is, ſaid Critilo, for this is the Path that leads us
to Eternity ; for though we trample on the Earth,
yet our thoughts are raiſed above it, and foar tó
that heighth, that they become Neighbours and
Citizens with the Stars; for theſe are they which
we now eye, and ſteer by, being engolfed between
the Cylla, and Caribdis of the World; for ſuch is
the entrance we are now upon into this great City,
the Babylon of Spain, the Treaſury of Riches,
the Theatre of Learning, the Sphere of Nobility,
and the large compaſs of a Humane life. Andre-
nio was more aſtoniſhed to ſee the ſtrange Accidents
of the World, which before he knew not, than
when firſt he proceeded from his cauſe to the un-
known Light: for then he beheld them only at a
diſtance, and in a long view and perſpective,
when to ſee only and contemplate on them was
not ſo much as by Experience to try them; fo
that all ſeemed ftrangely disfigured, and the face
of things of a different complexion ; but that which
was moſt ſtrange, was that in a populous City,
and at Mid-day no man appeared, though they
with great diligence and affection ſought them.
Where are the Men, ſaid Andrenió, is iſot this
their Country, their beloved world, thcir deſired
Centre,
where then are they gone, or in
what part, or place, do they lie concealed ? they
*
dili-
The Spaniſh Critick
79
diligently ſearched in one place, but diſcovered
- but how and where
they found them is related in the following Crie
fir.
none, until
Th.
.
A 을
​80
The Spaniſh Critick.
The Sixth CRIS I S.
The Eſtate and Condition of this Age.
W
Hofoever hears this word, World, pre-
fently conceives an orderly compoſure of
this Univerſe, fitted in the moſt perfect, and beſt
manner. For the word Mundus, fignifying as much
as Clean, or Neat. We ought to conſider it as
ſome ſtately Palace contrived for the Divine and
infinite Wiſdom, erected by Omnipotency, and by
hiş Provident Bounty fitted for Mans conveniency,
that he as King thereof may Rule, and maintain the
original Agreement, and Harmony, which the Di-
vine Creator hath fetled and ordained. So that it
is nothing but a Houſe made, and fitted for God
and Man; nor is there any other definition, by
which its Perfection may be more plainly declared;
for the very word Mundus doth ſufficiently denote
- its Perfection, and both the beginning and ending
are
2 Teſtimonies thereof, but how Mans ill ma
nagement hath diſappointed this Order, and diſgra-
ced the Honour of this Title, was the conſiderati-
on of Critilo, who, together with Andrenio, were
placed in the World, but not in the Society and
Converſation of thoſe, to whoſe Words, and Acti-
ons they could not confide or truſt.
They
The Spaniſh Critick. 81
They were now bufied, and inquiſitive in ſearch
of Men, for having trod many ſteps, and weariedly
travelled over much ground, they met no Man,
unleſs it were one, half a Man, and half a Beaſt,
an encounter welcome to Critilo, but ſtrange and un,
expected to Andrenio , who ſtarting, demanded
the Nature and Condition of this deformed Mon-
ſter: do not fear, faid Critilo, for it is more Mam
than Man himſelf, this is the Maſter and Ruler of
Kings, and the King of Rulers, this is
that wife Quiron, whoſe preſence is as Quiron.
welcome, as the occaſion for his
prudence and direction muſt guide us into this en-
trance to the World, and hand us in the way,
through the Journey of our life; with that they
went towards him, and faluting him, had their Sa-
lutes returned with the like civility; they acquaint-
ed him that they had been in ſearch of Men, and
after a hundred turns and walks, either through ill
Fortune, or ſcarcity of them, they had mće none.
wonder not at it (replied the Centaure) for this
is not an Age for Men, ſuch I mean whoſe noble
Acts have famed the years of former times. Do
you think to find now a Don Alonſo the Valiant in
Italy, a Great Captain in Spain, a Henry the Fourth,
in France, whoſe Sword hach maintained his Scepter,
and the Flower-de-Luces made up the hilt and
guard of it? There are now no ſuch Heroes in this
world, nor memory of their paſt Acts; and Mall
there be none hereafter? replied Andrenio ? There
is no appearance of them at preſent, ſaid he, and
fhortly it will be too late for them to remedy thic
evils paſt. But why are they not now, demanded
Critilo,and the Offspring of this Generation? There
is much to be ſaid in this, anſwered Quiror: for
there
82
The Spaniſh Critick.
there are ſome affect to be all, and in truth they
are leſs than nothing, and better that they never
had been; ſome fạy alſo that Envy cuts off many
with the Scillars of Tomeras; but I ſay, that
neither this nor that is the cauſe, but that whilſt
Vice prevails, Virtue cannot flouriſh, by whoſe
alliſtance Heroick Greatneſs receives its being: be-
lieve me, Venus benumbs and
ſtupifies. Minerva in eve
Ty Joint, and Member, and in regard her
chief ha-
bitation is in the ſmoak of the Forge, and in con-
verſation of mean Mechanicks, is not to be eſteem-
ed a fit Companion for noble Belona. In fine, let
Us not weary our ſelves in fo vain a ſearch, for
this is not an age for eminent perſons, either renown-
ed for Arms, or Learning; but tell me, where have
you fought them? Where ſhould we, ſaid Critilo,
but on the Earth; in this Country, and Element of
their life. You are much miſtaken, ſaid the Cen-
taure, and in this time of ſcarcity you will have
good fortune to find them there, ſince their uncon-
Itant humour deſiring change, hath with a nauti
ous Stomach, and glut of this ordinary enjoyment
altered their natural habitation. If we find them
not on the Earth, ſaid Andrenio; we ſhall have leſs
hopes to find them in Heaven, and if we find them in
neither of theſe;where can we expect them in the air?
for there theyhave built Caſtles and Towers of
Wind, in which they have fortified
Caſtles in the
themſelves, not being willing to de-
part from their own Chimera's. But
theſe feeble Bulwarks, ſaid Critilo, will ſoon dil-
folve in confuſion; for they not being like a Janus
of prudence, looking on all ſides, become a com-
mon deriſion, and the
mark of the ſcorning Finger,
whoſe diſgrace is pointed out, and are denied as
Baſtard
The Spaniſh Critick.
83
.
Baſtard Sons the title of their more noble Ance-
ſtors, that what ſome have opprobiouſly derided
behind their Backs, others with the ſame contempt,
like dirt will ſpatter in their faces. There are
fome, proceeded Quiron, who have raiſed, and
exalted themſelves to the very Clouds, and in their
fond fancies, though buried in the duſt, have ima-
gined their heads advanced to the Stars; there are
lome who walk in imaginary paths, and climb up
into the higheſt rooms of their own preſumption,
and would yet get higher than the Moon, did not
more noble Bodies polleſs the place. It is true,
ſaid Andrenio, there they are, for I have ſeen them
wrapped up in the Clouds, ſome ſtumbling, and
others falling, all changing according to the uncon-
ſtancy of the Planet, which ſometimes ſhows one
countenance, and then another; nor do they ceaſe
to juſtle and ſhoulder one another, and tripping up
each others heels they fall with more hurt to them
felves than they are ſenſible of. Was there ever
fuch folly, ſaid Critilo, is not the Earth the proper
and natural Centre of Man, his Beginning and his
End? Were it not more prudence to preſerve him-
ſelf in a moderate Mean, than by too high Aſpi-
ring, incur an imminent danger? Never was there
ſuch folly. If the folly be great, ſaid Quiron, there
is place for pity and for laughter; to behold him
who yeſterday ſlept in a tottering Cottage, to day
is lodged in a Palace, eſteeming it too mean a dwel-
Jing for his Greatneſs, and ſpeaks over that ſhoul-
der, which yeſterday boar the weight and burden
on it: He that was born under the thatched Roof,
now contrives his fretted Seelings, and Cedar Raf
ters, he contemns the Society of thoſe, who in his
Poverty deſpiſed his, and to the higheſt point
G2
Stands
84 The Spaniſh Critick.
zen.
>
ſtands on the Punctilio's of his baſe Family; he
who yeſterday had not to buy Bread, his stomach
is now curious, that the greateſt delicacy becomes
nautious, and runs the Line of his unknown Pedi-
grec: Thus all pretend to riſe, and to mount above
the Horns of the Moon, which are more dangerous
than the Bulls; for being removed from their own
Centre, muſt naturally decline, and return to their
own place with exemplary Infamy.
Whilſt lie was thus diſcourſing, he had led them
into the High-Street, where they encountred mul-
titudes of Beaſts, free, and unbound,
Bruitiſh Citi dangerous to unwary Paſſengers; ſome
whereof were Lyons, others Tygers,
Leopards, Wolves, Bulls, Panthers
Foxes, intermixt with Serpents, Dragons, and Baſi-
lisks. Andrenio at this fight, was much troubled,
and ſtarting backwards, demanded whether this
were a habitation of humane Society, or a Wood of
Bcaſts. Do not fear (ſaid the Centaure) only be
cautious. Doubtleſs Men, ſaid Critilo, the antient
Inhabitants out of a diſtaſte to the miſcarriages of
this World, are retired into the folitary Moun-
tains, and left theſe Palaces deſolate, and to be In-
habited by Beaſts, who only imitate and counter-
feit Citizens. It's true, replied Quiron, for in the
Tower of the Potent, with whom there is no con-
tending, reſides the Lyon; to the Murderer, fuc-
ceeds the Tyger , in the Wealthy Coffers of the
Covetous lies the Wolf, the Fox hides himſelf un-
der the deceitful Covering, and Vizard of the Frau-
dolent, and the Viper within the Bed and Courtains
of the Harlot : So that all is filled with Beaſts, and
Bivtes, who walk the Streets, inhabit the Dwel-
Lars, whilſt the true Men are baniſhed thence;
and
1
Tse Spaniſh Critick.
85
and live retired within the limits of their own
Wiſdom and Moderation. Let us ſit, faid Andre-
nio, on the riſing of the Hill, that ſo we may with
more eaſe, and ſecurity over-ſee theſe paſſages.
No, replied Quiron, for this is not a Place nor
World to take a Stand, or Seat in. Let us then,
faid Critilo, repoſe us againſt ſome of theſe Pillars.
No, ſaid he, for theſe will ſoon deceive us, being
falſe, weak, and unſtable; it is better to be ſtill in
motion, walking and palling from
one to another. The ground was The Rich moſt
here very unlevel, and unequal, for Rich.
at the doors of the Powerful and
Rich, were high Heaps and Mountains, which ſhined
with much Luſtre and Splendor. How much Gold
is here, ſaid Andrenio? Obſerve, ſaid Quiron, that
all is not Gold that gliſters; and coming nearer,
they perceived that it was nothing but counterfeit-
ed Wares, and Ordure gilded over ; but on the con-
trary at the doors of the Poor, and Feeble, was
ſuch a deep, and horrid Abiſs, that ſtruck a ter-
ror to all that beheld it, ſo that all ſhunned it,
and beholding it at a diſtance, would
not come within a thouſand Leagues The Poor moſt
of it;whilſt certain Beaſts unweariedly Poor.
travelled all the day long, ſtill caſting
a continual maſs of Mud and Dirt, on thoſe large
Heaps, and Hills of the Rich, adding as it were
Mountain unto Mountain. What diſparity is this,
faid Andrenio, were it not better to caſt theſe ſuper-
fuitics of Earth to fill up thoſe Cavities and decr
Abyſſes of the Poor, ſo as to level and make ſmooth
theſe rude and uneven ways? It's true, it were
better, ſaid Quiron, but what is there in this World
which tends unto the beſt; we may here diſprove
G 3
that
86
The Spaniſh Critick.
that concluſion of the Schools, that impoſibility
in Natural Philoſophy, that there is
Datur Vacuum.
no vacuum, or emptineſs; for alas!
in our Moral Experiments we daily
find the contrary ; the World gives not to them,
who have not, but to thoſe who already plentifully
enjoy; and there are many who looſe the ſmall
Bounty of Fortune which they have,for no other Rea-
fon than becauſe it is adjudged and condemned
to more crowded and over-flowing Coffers. Gifts are
not the Companions of Poverty, nor do Preſents fol-
how the footſteps of departed Friends. It is Gold
that guilds the Plate, and one calls and invites the
other; the Rich are thoſe that Inherit, and boaſt of
their Lineage, whilſt they ſcarce give licenſe to the
Poor to acknowledge his Parent. The Hungry
Thall ſcarce obtain Bread to ſupport Nature, and
the over-burdened Stomach be a continual Gueſt to
a Luxurious Table: So that he that is once Poor,
Thall be always Poor, the general rule of the Worlds
inequality. Whither ſhall we go now, demanded
Andrenio? Let us go, ſaid they, through the mid-
dle, where we ſhall paſs with leſs throng, and more
fecurity.
I think, ſaid Critilo, I ſee ſome Men, or at leaſt
thoſe who eſteem themſelves ſuch. Theſe are lefa
than any, ſaid Quiron, for looking toward the cor-
ner of the Street, they perceived ſome walk with
much gravity, hanging their heads downward to the
ground, and their noſes grabling in the
Ambitious Fol- dirt, and kicking up their legs, and
fy.
feet' in the air, made no progreſs
nor way foward, but at every ſtep
ſtumbled and fell, and notwithſtanding this, they
till obftinately perfiſt in this courſe of walking which
was
The Spaniſh Critick.
87
2
was as dangerous as ridiculous. At this ſight Ano
drenio much admired, and Critilo laught, Suppoſe
now, ſaid Quiron, that you dream waking: Oh!
How excellent well did Boſio paint theſe things; for
now I underſtand his fancy. Do but obſerve, and
you ſhall ſee incredible Follies. Thoſe who ought
to be the chief Heads and Commanders for
their Prudence are deſpiſed, and forgotten,
dropping, and hanging their heads toward the
Earth;on the contrary thoſe who for want of know-
ledge and experience in affairs, ought to be the feet
are the commanding Heads, and the firſt Movers of
that Wheel which turns the World, you ſhall find no
thing in its right order and rule , and becauſe the
World wants it ſelf both head and feet, doth in
conformity thereunto commit its Government to the
weakeſt Underſtanding:theſe were ſcarce out of ſight,
before another, as prepoſterous a Spectacle as the
former offered it felf, and theſe were Men who ſtill
went backwards, and according to this motion all
their actions tended and looked behind them. What
other abſurdity is this? ſaid Andrenio, if the World
abounds with ſuch fancies and capricho's as theſe,
we may take it for a Colledge of Fools, or Aſſociar
ted Changelings. Hath pot Nature, conſidered Crie
tilo; placed both our eyes, and feet, with a natural
aptneſs to tend forwards, that ſo we may fee where
we go, and go where we ſee, with the moſt ſecu-
rity, and the leaſt danger. 'How then do theſe
blindly walk, and with ſmall advertency mind ei-
ther their way or motion ? Obſerve, ſaid Quirnn,
theſe are Men, who inſtead of making progreſs in
Honour, Wiſdom, and Prudence, relapſe, or retuia
backwards again, before they arrive to any Pei.
fection of being Men ; ſuch I mean as our Count
of Pegmoranda. Conſider the folly of yonder Wc-
G4
mang
88
The Spaniſla Critick
man, obſerve what ſhe drives at ; the would by
no means paſs twenty years, and the other will ne-
ver count above thirty; for arriving at a certain
period, they fix there, as at the full ſtop or ſtage
of years; for women would never grow old, though
they would as unwillingly recal the time of their firſt
Childhood. See how lame age hath
Homer.
rivelled and furrowed the foreheads
of fome, and dragging them by their
unbound Hair, hath plucked off the beſt Orna-
Inents of Nature : Seě what a blow he hath gi-
ven, and another that her Teeth drop out before,
and Eye-brows rot with years? How hath he al
tered their complexions and faces, and transform-
ed their beauty to an uncomely Vizard. Hold,
faid Andrenio , do you ſpeak of Women ? where
ere they? for I have but ſmall skill as yet in the
diſtinction of Sexes, Did not you tell me Critilo,
that Women were of a weak Nature, and Men
Itrong and couragious ; that Man ſpoke ſtrongly
and loud, and Women with a low ſhrillneſs; that
the Habits of Men are a Cloak and Breeches, and
Women are covered with looſe Garmients, and
Vails : but I find all this contrary, for either Meri
are degenerated, and become Women, or all Women
are become Men, or both Sexes are confuſed: Men
with their Tongues between their Teeth, ſtand
quiet, and mute, and Women with their fhrill
Voice ſpeak ſo loud, that they open the Ears, and
work a Miracle on the Deaf hearer; theſe rule
the World, and Men are only ciphers and actors
of their Commands. Thou haſt deceived me Critio,
It is true, ſaid Critilo, fighing, for Men are now
quore feeble,and leſs than Women ; one tear or drop
froin a Womans eyes, availeth more than all thoſe
Itreams of Bloud which Valour hath let forth: the
leaſt
...we'.....
The Spaniſh Critick.
89
more
leaſt ſmile and favour from a Woman perſwadeth
than the ſweeteſt Tongue, and Rheto-
rick of the Eloquent. In fine, we can neither live
with them, nor without them; never were they
more eſteemed than now, and their power fo far
enlarged, that they are able to do all, and undo all.
In vain hath Nature denied them the ornament of
a a Beard for diſtinction ; and that their bluſhes and
modeſty might be more apparent in their Cheeks
i
for neither of theſe is available againſt the impetu-
ous violènce of their Spirits. According to this,
faid Andrenio, Man is not the King of the World,
but the Slave and Valfal of the Woman. Know,
ſaid Quiron, that naturally Man is King and sove-
raign, and was ſo until he had made Woman his
Companion: but that you may be better acquainted
with this fort of Creatures, you muſt know that when
they have moſt need of diſcretion, and courage, it
then fails them moſt; but yet there are ſome ex-
ceptions from this general Rule, which are verified in
that incomparable Princeſs of Rofana, and that moſt
excellent Lady the Marqueſs of Valdueza, and
others. But that 'which cauſed moſt admiration,
was one who inſtead of a Horſe rode on a Fox,
which always went backwards, making continual
turnings and windings at every ſtep, his whole
Train alſo which followed him, and thoſe not few,
imitated him in the like motion, together with an
old Dog, his uſual Companion. Do you ſee this,
Said Quiron, I will aſſure you, it is to ſome purpoſe
and intent, he makes theſe twiſtings and La-
birinths in his way. I believe it, ſaid Critilo, for
all the World ſeems to paſs through Extremes :
but who is this, pray tell us, for he is one who
looks more like a Knave, than a Fool? Did you
never
go
The Spaniſh Critick.
never hear the name of the famous
The Polititian Cace, that Engine of Policy, the con-
Caco.
fuſed Chaos of Reaſon of State; for
in this manner all Politicians work
backwards, that to they may not make diſcovery of
their intentions by their actings : for they would
by no means be traced by their footſteps; for though
their eyes point one way, the path they walk leads
to another; they publiſh not what they intend, and
in faying Yes, they mean No : ſo that they act
always by Contraries, and their Ciphers are moſt
legible when they are read backwards, one had need
of another Hercules, who with force, and a Sledge
of Iron, might level and make plain theſe paths,
and cut in ſunder their intrigues and knots of deceit.
Andrenio obſerved that the chiefeſt part of thoſe
that ſpake,whiſpered their words not into the ears but
into mouth of the Hearers, who were not diſpleaſed
with the groſs abſurdity, but with the like undecency
kindly received, and gaping with an open mouth,
and, forming their lips into ears, ravenouſly fucked
in the diſtillation of their words, Was there ever
ſuch Abſurdities, ſaid he, words were made for
the ears, not for the mouth; but theſe people eat
them, and drink them, ſuck them in like fugred
Comfets: 'tis true that they proceed from the
lips, but they die in the ears, and their tomby
and grave is formed in the Heart: but theſe feem
to lick and chew them in their mouths, and with this
acrious nouriſhment ſuſtain their vanity : it is a ſign,
ſaid Critilo, they carry but little truth in them,
ſince their taſte is ſweet, and have no reliſh of bit-
terneſs in the Stomach. Do you not know, ſaid
Quiron, that the chiefeſt art is to
Flattery,
ſpeak thoſe words which are favory
to the Palate. Obſerve Andrenio how
yonder
The Spaniſh Critick.
9I
yonder Lord ſucks in the ſyrrop of Flattery; ſee
what draughts he makes of the ſweet Liquor of
adulation ; believe me though he ſeems attentive-
ly to hearken, yet his ears receive not the ſound,
for the words vaniſh into air. Conſider yonder
Prince how he gluts himſelf with Lies, though ne-
ver ſo incredible ; 'tis a moſt ſtrange thing to con-
ſider that this Man never disbelieved a Lye, though
he heard never ſo many, and yet never believed
Truths,though few were told him, and thoſe ſeldom.
What do ye think of tother vain Fool? what do
you think he is filled with? it is nothing of ſub-
Itance but air and vanity. This muſt be the cauſe,
conſidered Critilo, that thoſe whom Truths moſt
neerly concern, can yet ſeldom hear them, for they
are bitter, and give a bad reliſh to the Palate, lo
that either as unpleaſing they refuſe them ; or elſe
endeavouring to ſwallow them, the ſqueamiſh tenderr
neſs of their Stomachs is not able to digeſt them.
But that which ſcandalized them moſt, was the
ſight of ſome vile and førvile Slaves to themſelves,
dragging their own Bolts and Chains , wherewith
their Arms were mannacled, that they might not be
able to extend them in acts of Liberality; or in the
pious works of Hapour, and Virtue , their necks
wore a laviſh Collar, the note and ſign of their vo-
luntary Servitude ; their feet chained and man-
nacled, ſuffered them not to make one ſtep in the
way of Fame, or of a good Reputation, and thus
laden with Irons, and lockt in their Bolts, and in
wa condition more of ſhame, than glory, yet with an
impudent boldneſs ſtood Inthroned, and applauded;
commanding Men of better Bloud, and Nobility,
enſlaving the free-born date and condition of thoſe
who willingly ſubmitted to their rod,and bowed their
fhoulders to receive the weight of their vile Bur-
den.
2
The Spaniſh Critick.
den. At this fight Andrenio, as being not able to
hold longer, cryed out, who will dare to approach
near thefe, and conteſt with the abuſe of Fortune?
How I could kick down theſe miſemployed Seats,
and change the condition of the others, into what
their own Vertue and Merits have deſerved. Do
not ſpeak ſo loud, ſaid Quiron , for
Staves Com
you undo us. It is no matter if this
mand. be permitted, though all run to ruiné
and deſtruction. Do you not ſee
that theſe are the powerful Rulers; thoſe who,
oc. are thefe? If theſe Slaves of their own
Appetites, Servants to Delight; theſe Tiberius's
Nero's, Caligala's; Heliogabulus's, and Sardanapalus's
are ſuch as are idolized and adored, and the true
Commanders, and Lords of themſelves, free, and
in fubjection to none, are Slaves and Vaſſals of Ser-
vitude. Why then let the found Health, and in-
corrupted Body, be ſtretched, and laid out for it's
Grave, and the ſick and dead Corps walk the Streets :
let the freſh, and lively colour faint and droop,
let thoſe whoſe fick and ill Conſciences have made
their looks pale, recover courage and ſtrength, lét
the found Entrails be unſufficient to maintain life,
and the corrupted Lungs breath the ſtrongeſt blaſt:
let thoſe whole weak Stomachs the ſmell of Nou-
riſhment offends, grow fåt; and let thë Droplical
and the Lame be fupported with found Feet and
activé Hands; For thus, faid Andrenio, all things
walk contrary in this world, the Good creep and
crawl humbly on the Earth and the baſe vileneſs of
the bad is exalted.
But that which was pleaſing and new, caufed
much langhter, was to ſee a Blind man, with
eye's more dim and dark than his own Viléneſs
more
The Spaniſo Critick.
93
more thick and miſty than an April Cloud; with as
much preſumption as blindneſs undertook to conduct
and guide thoſe of more quick eyes and ſight than
himſelf, leading the Van whilſt they
ſilently followed, without any doubt, The Blind
Guide,
or fear of the way, This is a brave
daring Blindneſs, ſaid Andrenio
. But diſhoneſt and
baſe, ſaid Critilo, that the Blind ſhould lead the
Blind, though there be folly enough in the thing,
yet it hath been ſeen and known with the fall of
both into the fame Pit of Ruiñe, and Deſtruction;
but that the Blind ſhould guide thoſe that ſee, is an
unheard of folly, and a prepoſterous madneſs. I
(ſaid Critilo ) do not wonder that the Blind ſhould
pretend to direct others that See, becauſe he may
believe that all are as blind as himſelf, but that thoſe
who ſee, and obſerve the danger before their eyes,
into which their blind guides would precipitate them,
ſhould accept of their ſervice, and tumble with
them, and yet go forward till they fall into the ſame
deep Pit, and Abyſs of Infelicities, is a moſt incre-
dible Folly, and a monſtroſity of madneſs. Know,
ſaid Quiron, that though this be a moſt tranſsen
dent piece of raſhneſs, yet it is a folly that each day
repreſents us with, and more often is it acted in
our prepoſterous times than formerly; for thoſe
who know leaſt, pretend as great Doctors to in-
ſtruct others; the Intemperate and Luxurious un-
dertake to read Lectures of Sobriety, and to ſit in
the Chair to expound, and comment on Leſſons of
Morality. Our own experience can teſtifie how
one blind with Affections of a Woman, as ill fa-
voured as infamous hath feduced infinite to fol-
low him, and thrown them down the Precipice of
eternal Miſery : This is not the eighth Miracle,
but
2
94
The Spaniſh Critick.
on;
but the eighth Prodigy. For the firſt ſtep of Ig-
norance, is a Preſumption of Knowledge, and many
would know more, did they not already think they
knew too much.
They had no ſooner let paſs theſe Sights, but
they heard a confuſed noiſe and combustion, a-
midſt a Croud, and Throng, in a corner of the Mar-
ket-place, as if a quarrel or conteſt had ariſen a-
mongſt the people: for it happened that a Woman,
(the uſual cauſe and author of diſturbance") ill fa-
voured and deformed, but ſet out, and adorned to
the beſt advantage; for the whole world had be-
ſtowed the beſt ornaments ſhe could find to dreſs and
deck her with; but ſhe ſcolded and raved, and
railed at another Woman, which was of much bet-
ter Temper, and wholly contrary to her diſpoſiti-
for the was a Woman amiable and fair, her
Cloathing courſe, but clean, and becoming, yet
ſcarce ſufficient to cover her Nakedneſs, which
fome attributed to the Poverty of her Condition,
others ſaid, ſhe did it to ſhew her
Truth in its comely ſtature, and the due propor-
Simplicity. tiod of her parts. At theſe revilings
and ſcorns which were caſt vpon her,
ſhe was ſilent, for the prevailing force of her ene-
mies, who were the chifeſt and moſt numerous of
the World, overawed her in her Speech, ſo that
ſhe durft not reply to thoſe many affronts, but re-
ceived all with ſilence. In fine, 'all ſided againſt
her, paſſing from jeſt to earneſt, from words to
blows, and as it wete ſtifled in the Crowd of Ad-
verſaries , none durft to oppoſe ſo ſtrong an Ene-
my, or like the Champion take up the Buckler in
defence of the oppreſled; but Andrenio, naturally
compaſſionate , was inclinable to take her part,
had
.
The Spaniſh Critick
95
had not Quirou prevented him, by ſaying, do you
know whole Cauſe you patronize,and
againſt whom you declare, know you Plauſible
not that it is againſt plauſible falſity, Falſehood.
which is as much as torake part againſt
the whole world. However the ſimplicity of Children
would have taken the part of Truth, and have riſen in
her defence; but alas! their childiſh ſtrength, and
policy was unable to prevail againſt inveterate and
old Malice, ſo they were content only to praiſe
Truth, and ſpeak it. Thus was beautiful Truth
ſtript, and forſaken, and by degrees fo puſhed
and ſhouldred, that at length ſhe was juſtled into
thoſe remote parts, from whence we can have no
news or tidings of her abode or reſidence.
It is well, faid Andrenio, I ſee now there is no
Juſtice in this world, and yet it is true, that there
are Miniſters of it. There is Juſtice, ſaid Quiron,
and that not far off, ſince Falſity ſtands ſo near.
With this there appeared a Man, as ſevere, as Cato,
his aſpect and countenance rigid, accompanied with
others of the ſame profeſſion, at his firſt appearance
Falſity went towards him, and with many of thoſe
few Realons which ſhe had in ſtore, ſhe informed
him the condition of her preſent ſtate; he anſwer-
ed, that he would preſently give Sentence in her
favour,and that by his authority ſhe ſhould be licenſed
to wear Feathers;with that ſhe inſtantly clapped in his
hand winged-feet, with which ſwiftly flying, he firmed
the baniſhment of Liberty his mortal enemy. Who
is that (demanded Andrenio ) who truſts the ſtay of
his body to the feeble ſupport of a
weak Rod? That is, anſwered Qui- Corrupt
ron, a Juſtice, who is ſo called ,
be- Fudges.
cauſe he ſells it, he is one, who feels
firſt, that he may hear the better afterwards. What
means
96 The Spanifio Critick.
means that Sword, ſaid he, they carry drawn be:
fore him, and to what purpoſe is it? This, faid
aniron, is the Enſign and Badge of his Dignity, and
the inſtrument of Punifhment, and Joftice; and
that which lops and cuts the over-grown Branches,
and Weeds of Vice; it were more available, reply-
ed Critilo, to tear them from the root, than only to
pare the luxuriant Branches, by which they gather
more ſtrength daily. So it ought to be, anfwered
Quiron,but theſe men prune the Roots of Vice, that
they may yield more Fruit, and a conſtant Harveſt,
whereby the fins of the people may be their Live-
lihood and Maintenance. This Judge ſuddenly,and
without more appeal condemned to death a poor
Fly, for no other reaſon then becauſe it was en-
tangled within the web and net of the Law : but an
Elephant who had trampled,and trod down all, with-
out fparing or reſpecting, either Humane or Divine
Juſtice, was ſo far from being chaſtifed for it, that
with much reverence the Judge treated him in his pal-
Sage, and let him paſs undiſturbed, though loaden with
prohibited Weapons, as Granado's, Daggers, Pick-
locks and Wild-fre, and in complement demanded of
him if he would permit him leave to croud in a-
mongſt the reſt of his Attendants, and to accompa-
ny him to the entrance of his Den. Nor
did his Injuſtice ftop here, buc catching an-
other poor Fellow by the ſhoulder, who durft not
cry out, without farther matter condemned him to
be whipped, and ſome asking the reaſon of his
puniſhment, it was anfwered again, that he had no
back to ſupport a Burden, which if he had had
he ſhould like others have been charged with load
upon load. This Judge was no ſooner out of ſight,
but appeared another, who as fome valiant Genes
sal was introduced with the applauſes, and accla-
mations
1
The Spaniſh Critick
97
mations of the people, and might be
compared to Don Paula de Parada, he D. Pablo de
was armed with Back and Breaſt, and Parada.
fitted for all numbers, times, and per-
fons: his Arms were two Piſtols, but dormant in
their Holſters; he was mounted on a cropt Horſe,
but had not loſt his ears for his own faults; he had
a thing gilded for a Sword, which for many good
reſpects was never drawn; he was more than a man
in his words, but leſs than a woman in his fears; he
had a Capof Feathers, a very Pye of Gallantry, but
a Hen in Valour. Who is this, demanded Andrenio,
a Man, or a Monſter? The queſtion is very apt,
ſaid Quiron, for ſome Nations unuſed to this ſight,
have at firſt view,imagined the Horſe,
and Man both one. This is a Soldier, Soldiers of
who were he ſuch in his Manners, he Fortune.
would not be ſo ragged in his Con-
ſcience. Of what uſe are theſe in the World, ſaid
Andrenio ? Theſe are, replyed he, the Chaſtiſers of
our Enemies, but a worſe ſcourge and plague to our
Friends; thele are thoſe who defend us, but may
Divine Providence defend us from them. Theſe
fight, deſtroy, and kill, and are the terror and de-
vourers of our Adverſaries. How can this be, faid
Andrenio? for they ſay that theſe very Men make,
and raiſe enemies themſelves. Hold, ſaid Quiron, I
ſpeak what their office doth enjoin and oblige them
unto; but now is the World ſo corrupted, that
the remedies of evils, are the cauſes of them, and
the medicine to cure our fickneſs is the deſtruction
of our health. Theſe that ought to end War, and
cloſe the Breaches, are thofe that husband, and pro-
long them; for they knowing that their own For.
tunes are finall, and their Income not ſufficient to
H
ſuſtain
98 the Spaniſh Critick.
..
$
ſuſtain their lives, piece out their Fortunes with the
employment of War: for were it ended, they
would remain without office, and without benefit:
wherefore then ſhould they kill the Centinels of the
Marquis of Peſcara, ſince they live by the Enemy? This
isa Policy which to the very Drummer and meaneſt
Officers is known ſo well, that the breach which
Prudence and ſincere Conſcience might make up in
one years ſpace, is continued feven, nay double,
and would remain for ages, or to eternity, had not
Valour and Succeſs been now united
Marquis of in the Marquis of Mortara. The
Mortara. ſame cenſure did they paſs on another,
who bein; likewiſe on Horfe back, as
bold and confident as a Mountebank, pretended
Knight Errant like to eaſe the afflicted, and with his
art to curc languiſhing Nature: but he was but
a Charlatan, for all his drugs operated ſo ill, that
the Sound were empaired by them in health, and
the Sick by his means were gven over by
the Phyſitian. He was one who declared War a-
gainſt Life and Death, the open enemy of them
both, neither a Friend to the Dead, nor to thoſe
who were perfectly Living, but ran
Mountebanks. in a Medium (the only bad one )
between both. That himſelf might
eat, he brings his Patients to ſhort allowance, and
beguiling them of their meat grows fat himſelf
whilſt they lie under the mercy of his hands, his
care foroids thcm Mcat, and if their health admits
them to quit his Cure, which ſeldom happens, the
Patient will ſoon perceive the policy the Phiſi-
tian uſed to reſtrain the danger of his future ex.
celo; No that theſe live, and feed on the ſpoil ,
with more cruelty than the Excutioner : for as he
ſtudies
The Spanish Critick. 99
ftudies with the nimbleſt art, to end the pain of the
Malefactor, theſe are the tormentors of life,eſteeming
it the beſt part of their skill, to linger out life to
the laſt gaſp ; and to ſuſtain a continued courſe of
ſickneſs, a better art than to recover licalth, theſe
are as an infected air of ſickneſs, and where are
moft Phyſitians, are moſt Diſeaſes; This is the com-
mon calumny that the Vulgar háth caſt upon them;
but for my own part, I think none can either ſpeak
good, or bad of the Phyſitian; for he on whom his
Art hath not been exerciſed, rails at his Cruelty,
wonld be cenſured as paſſionate without Reaſon:
and he who hath already fallen into his hands, hath
neither Tongue,nor Breath to make his complaint ;
but miſtake me not, for here I ſpeak not of the na-
tural Phiſitian, buc the Moral, into whoſe hands
is committed the diſtempered condition of the Re-
publick, who inſtead of caring, and remedying in-
diſpoſed affairs, foment and diſtract them and where
is required a ſudden recovery, the uskilfulneſs of
theſe Philitians reduce the Fever todlingring Con-
fumption. How comes it to paſs, faid Andronio,
that we can meet no man of honeſty paſſing this
way? Theſe, ſaid Quiron, are not in motion, but
are permanent Pillars, and durable, whoſe im-
mortal Fame never dies, and their number föſmall,
that they are enroulled and liſted in Letters of
Gold: who are named in the ſame ſcarcity, as the
Unicorn in Arabia, or the Phenix in the Eaſt; how-
ever if you will feign fee one, look for Cardinal
Sandoval in Toledo, the Count de Lemos, Governor in
Aragon, the Arch-Duke Leopold in Flanders; and if
you will find Integrity, Juſtice, Truth, and all Ver-
tue concerned in one, behold D. Luis d'Hara in that
Centre, which he enjoys and deſerves.
They
H 2
FIOO
- The Spaniſh Critick.
They being now wearied with theſe prodigious
Spectacles,deſired to retire ſome time for repole; but
Andrenio ſtretched out his Arms, litting his Eyes to
Heaven, fetched moſt deep ſighs as if he would make
the Stars take notice of his complaints.How is this,
faid he, have I my ſelf loſt my Reaſon, or with
the Society of the Frantick, hath my own Brain
been made giddy? Methinks all is blaſted with the
Worlds contagion, nay the Heaven ſeems confuſed,
and time to have changed his courſe, and as recal-
led to move backward : Is it day, demanded he,
or night ? but let us have a care that we fall not in
to gueſſes, or conjectures, for that will ſerve more
to perplex, and confound us than we were before,
Hold, ſaid Quiron, for the Worlds Mis-rule is not
to be attributed to the influence of Heaven, but to
the Earths own diſorderly motion ; for things have
not moved contrary to their natural courſe only as
to place, but are confuſed alſo as to times, and ſea-
fons, for ſome make the day night, and the night
day. One riſes hot from his Bed ,
The Day
when another as weary with his La-
Night. bour , inclines to repoſe : ſome go
then from home with the light only
of Venus Star, and return to their reft, with the
Beams and dawning of the morning, and theſe who
are thus ſingular in their lives, are thoſe of the moſt
famous Families, the illuſtrious Nobility, who yet
deſerve that Sentence, which one paſſed on them,
That he who by night lives and wanders like a Beaſt,
by day muſt live more like a Brute then a Man. This
is the courſe of the World, ſaid Critilo, but let us
retire to our Beds, leaſt we incur the ſame cenſure;
nor am I willing to deſiſt now, ſince it is night, and
little
C
The Spaniſh Critick.
JOI
little to be ſeen. Why, faid Andrexio, do they call
the World Mundus, the very name
feems to belie it, being not worthy of Mundus figni-
,
ſo honourable a Title, its nature be. fies Clcan.
ing better expreſſed by ſomething that
denotes Uncleanneſs, and corruption of it? There
was a day, replyed Quiron, when this word was but
a true deſcription of its Nature, when firſt this un-
comely Fabrick proceeded from the unpolluted hands
of the Divine Creator : but whence comes this dif-
order then? demanded Andrenio, or who hath ſub-
verted, and overthrown its Foundation, or with an
unskilful pencil defaced the lines of this equal pro-
portion? There is much to be ſaid in this, replycd
Quiron, this ſubject have the Learned already treat-
ed on, and theſe defects are ſufficiently bewailed in
the Philoſophers Meditations. Some attribute this
diſorder to the blindneſs, and Folly of Fortune, who
each day changeth her motion, and neither leaves
place, nor ſeaſons unaltered. Others ſay that when
Lucifer of the morning fell, he gave ſo hard a blow
on the Earth, that he ſtroak the World from off
the hinges, turning it from one ſide unto the other.
Others lay the fault on the Woman, ſtiling her the
Univerſal diſturber, and the ſole cauſe of all Coufu-
fions: But I ſay we need not ſeek any other ſub-
ject, on whom more juſtly to caſt the guilt, and
accuſation hereof, than on Man himſelf, the unquiet-
neſs of whoſe Spirit is ſufficient to diſtract a thou-
fand Worlds, and that there are not more Worlds
for him to diſturb, is the ſorrow, and complaint of
the principal Inquieter if the Divine Providence
had not fixed the Primum Mobile, or firſt Mover
into that Sphere, to which his Malice,and Fury hath
not poſſibility to climb, the Sun had before now
changed
H 3
102
The Spaniſh Critick
changed his courſe, and made the Weſt the place
of his ariſe, and terminated his ſtage in the con-
fins of the Eaſt: ſo had Spain become one of the
extreme Poles of the World, and ſo made unhabi-
table by any. It is a thing worth obſervation, that
Man, who is a Creature endued with Reaſon, ſhould
in the firſt act and operation of it, commit it to the
ſubjection and obedience of his Appetite, from
whence, as from the fountain and original of all are
derived thoſe contradictions which ſucceed, nor
can it be otherwiſe ſince they are but conſequen-
ces of the firſt Capital diſorder. Hence it is that
Vertue is perfecuted, and Vice applauded, Truth
ſilenced, and falſity endued with a three-fold Tongue
to vent its deceits, the Knowing are robbed of their
Libraries, and the Ignorant confounded in the mul-
titude of their Leaves, the Doctor is without his
Books, and the Books without the Doctor; the
Diſcretion of the Poor is eſteemed Folly, and the
extravagant Diſcourſe of the Rich a Treaſury of
Knowledge, 'thoſe who undertake to recover life,
deſtroy it. Youtubers and decays, and the des
crepit years of the Aged grow green, and flouriſh;
In fine, Man is arrived to that pitch, and heighth
of Madneſs, that he hath forgot almoſt to know his
right hand, for miſtaking it, he placeth the way to
happineſs on the left. Thus doth he caſt the great
tft matter of importance behind his back, treads
Vertué underfoot, and inſtead of going forward,
turns again.
If things go thus, faid Andrenio, why then didſt
thou Critil, draw, arid ſeduce me from my own
World, wherein I was free in my own Solitarineſs?
Let me return again to that Cave of my nothing,
ܘܐ
The Spaniſh Critick.
to that high Precipice of my Rock, and retire frona!
this link, and confuſion of the World. is low
too late, replied Critilo, O how many would return
now back again if they could; but this hath Nature
denied, being that Policy whereby the World is
preſerved and peopled. Obſerve how we ſtill move
up this ladder of life, and how we leave the iteps
of our days behind us, which we no ſooner paſs,
but they vaniſh, leaving us no means, and remedy
of deſcent. How is it poſible (faid Andrenio, ſtill
conteſting, and tormenting himſelf) that we ſhould
live and ſuffer this prepoſterous humour of the
World ; mult I be mute, and ſee the enormities of
the World in ſilence, can my patience bear this,
and yet not burſt with Choler? Alas ! faid Qui-
rou,
if you were lcft to your own humour but for
four days only, you would accommodate your felf
to the age you live in, nor would you be fo fevere
in your cenſures of other Men. Who, ſaid he, am
I, one of thoſe diſtempered Brains, or one of thoſe
vulgar and mean Spirits ? Do you hear, laid Cri-
tilo, thou art not able to paſs, and imitate the wiſe
Sages of paſt cimes, though it were
only * in ſwallowing your own Spittle. * A Spaniſh
The World is the ſame now as then, expreſſion of
Silence.
the ſame which they found it, the
fame they left it. The wiſe Count of Caſtrillo lives now,
and yet he is not outragious as you are. Likewiſe the
Marquis of Caretto paſſes with patience. Whatcourſe
then, replied Andrenio, did they take being ſo prila
dent? Why, Taid Critilo, they did only tee; hear, and
werc Tilent. But is there none that endeavors now
to correct things ? Yes, Fools. Why Fools ? Be-
ecauſe 'tis as impoſible, as to unite the two Caftiles,
or to diſcompoſe Arragon ; «for who can hinder that
Cardinal
H A
104
The Spaniſh Critick.
Cardinals ſhould not adopt Nephews, and others
entertain private Favourites, that the French ſhould
not be Tyrants, that the Engliſh ſhould not be as
deformed in their Souls, as they are comely in their
Bodies, that the Spaniards ſhould not be Proud, and
the Genoueſes , &c. Well then, ſaid Andrexio, I
will return to my antient Grave, to my former so-
ciety of Beaſts, ſince I ſee no remedy to eaſe theſe
Miſeries. Hold, ſaid Quiron, I will give you as eaſie
as true a Leſſon, if you will hearken to me in this
following Criſis.
f
The
$
The Spaniſh Critick.
105
The Seventh CRISIS.
The Original of Errors, and Deceits.
T
He whole Army of Paſſions banded themſelves
againſt Man, as their common Enemy, and
declared the quarrel on no other grounds, than his
favouring Reaſon. The Battel being now ranged,
and both ſides ready to give the allault, Diſcord
entred the Field , coming neither from Hell, nor
as ſome report, from the
Tents of War, but from
the Houſe and Habitation of hypocritical Ambition.
Her buſineſs was to move a competition amongſt
them, who ſhould lead the front and Van of the
Battel, each Vice pretending to it, with ſuch
boaftings of its ſtrength, and valour, as made the
queſtion more hardly to be decided. Riot preten-
ded the principal places, becauſe ſhe was the firſt
Pallion that encountred Man, and had gained on
him the firſt Victory in his Cradle. Laſciviouſneſs
alledged the ſucceſs of her valour, and that her
Merits might deſerve a greater Command, ſince'her
Victorious ſucceſſes had lo often gained the Lawrel,
and made fuch Spoils on Youth the ſtrength of Man.
Covetouſneſs pleaded to be the root of evils, Pride
vaunited its noble deſcents, and family, as a ſeed and
branch of Heaven, and was the only Vice peculiar
to
106 The Spanish Critick.
to Man, and the reſt in a lower degree common to
Beaſts. Anger took theſe boaſtings much in diſguft,
and in a furious rage began the fight, the ſucceſs
as yet being doubtful, the end concluded in a gene-
ral confuſion. Malice deſirous to make up the dif-
ference in a grave Oration, repreſented the danger
of this civil War, and that their ſtrength united
ovould be more available, where the power of one
would be alliſtant to the other;and as to the preſent
diſpute , told them, that this command from
whence the preſent diſcord aroſe, was always ad-
judged due to her eldeſt Daughter Falſity: for ſhe
is the Author of Evil, the fountain and ſource of
Vice, the Mother of Sin, the infectious Harpy, the
mauy-headed Hydra, the various ſhaped Proteus
the Centimunus of War, the Caco of Policy, and
the fruitful Womb always pregnant with Errors,
and Deceits. It was Fraud that aſſaulting Creduli,
ty, and Malice taking advantage on Ignorance,
which entrapt the World, and delivered it into the
immenſe graſp of the Worlds Monarch ; It is Fall,
ty and Déceit which inveſt the eaſie
The Devil. Nature of Man, and take advantage
on his childhood, and Youth, where,
by he is diſabled to reſiſt their Stratageins, Trea-
fons, Frauds, Deluſions, Fallacies, and the whole
train and method of Italian devices, ſo that either
ſooner or later he yields his Judgment a trophy to
Deceit.
The Truth of this Philoſophy hath been con-
firmed by the ſucceſs of Critila and Andrenio, who ha .
ving but lately quitted the Society of cautious Qyiron,
who by his Induſtry, and Council, had exempted
them from the confuſion of Babel, the Worlds Re-
giſter; and having placed them in the direct Road,
returned
artea
The Spaniſh Critick.
1.07
returned again as guide to direct others. Andrenio was
now well armed againſt theſe dangers with the various
Lectures he had received from him, but eſpecially
by the aſliſtance of a Glaſs, which changed the
common proſpect of the World, and made all things
appear with their natural defects, though diſguiſed
with the Mask which Fraud had put on them : for fo
ought every one to behold this world withan eye dif-
ferent from the vulgar view,and to underſtand things
in the ſame Notion, that the wife Count d' Oniat
apprehended them. When you ſee a preſumptuous
Opiniator, believe him a Fool, the Rich ſuppoſe
Poor, in reſpect of thoſe true Riches of Felici.
ty: He who commands all, is the common Slave;
the Man that is biggeſt, is in bulk not mucha Man,
the groſs and fat have but little of ſubſtance ; he
that would ſeem to be deaf, hears more than he
would, and the Acute-ſighted is Blind, or will be
ſo. He that ſmells out much, leaves a bad favour
of himſelf in the Noſtrils of all; the Talkative
ſpeaks nothing he who Laughs, raves with fury
who excuſeth, condemns himſelf; who Eats moſt,
Eats leaſt; who diſcommends the Merchandize, de-
fires it moſt; who acts the Fools part, is the wit-
tieſt Comedian ; who wants nothing, wants himſelf;
the Covetous enjoys equally that which he hath not,
as what he hath; the greateſt Clerk is ſeldom the
wiſeſt Man; who deſires a good Life, deſires a good
Death;ạnd he who loves life'moft, moſt abhors it ;
who invites his Friend to a plentiful Table, is he
that cauſes him to faſt; Folly is often ſeen in good
Conjectures, the moſt ſtraight, is crooked; he that
goes the neareſt way home, goes the fartheſt about;
who would not loſe one mouthful, loſeth a hun-
dred; the beſt which coſt moſt, is beſt cheap.; hiç
who
108
The Spaniſh Critick.
who makes thee weep, is thy beſt friend. ' in fine,
that which one affects moft, and eſteems the greateſt,
is the moſt unworthy, and of the ſmalleſt value.
With this diſcourſe they eaſed their tedious ſteps,
which inſenſibly paſſed away, till the encounter of
another Monſter interrupted them, which now did
not, as formerly, aſtoniſh
nor diſtract their thoughts,
for they had learned that they muſt in this world
expect to meet diverſities of Prodigies one after
another. For now came towards them a Coach,
which was not uſual in ſo bad a Road; but being
made fo artificially, and with ſuch nimble Joints,
it paſſed through all rubs, ſtreights, and difficulties;
the Beaſts that drew it were two flea-bitten Jades,
like Serpents, and the Coach-man a Fox; Critilo
asked if it were not a Venetian Chariot; to which
the Coach-man replyed in a manner far from the
purpoſe, as if he underſtood not, what he demand-
ed;within røde a Monſter,or rather many, for ſo often
changed he his colour, and ſhape, fometimes black,
anon white, then young, anon old, ſometimes Great,
ſometimes little, then a Man, a Woman, a Beaſt, that
Critilo ſoon diſcovered him to be the
Protch,
famous Proteus. As ſoon as he came
near them, he alighted from his Seat,
and with more bows and cringes then a young
French Monſieur, which are the Prologues to de-
ceit, and then with more Complements then an Ara-
gonefu, welcomed them in behalf of his great Ma
iter', offering them the convenience of his Palace,
where they might eaſe, and refreſh their bodies al-
teady wearied with ſo long a Journey. They both ha-
ving returned their thanks, for ſo unexpected a fa-
vour, demanded who was his Lord, who in ſo ſmall
knowledge of them, and their deferts, had ſo cour-
teoully
q
The Spanilla Critick.
109
teouſly obliged them. He is, ſays he, a mighty
Prince, whoſe Territories, though they extend
over the compaſs of the World, yet keeps the fa-
mous Metropolis of his Court, in this firſt entrance
of the Earth and Life. He is a Monarch more great
than any, in that Kings are his Feudataries and
Vaffals, and few there are who unſubdued by his
power pay him not Tribute; for beſides the flouriſh-
ing eſtate of his Kingdom in Peace, and plenty, it is
the Academy of Arms, and Learning, and rewards
the moſt forward Proficients herein;
let him who would underſtand the Outward Ap-
root of Policy, Artifice,and Cunning, pearances.
apply himſelf to this Court, where
he Thall learn to thrive, and paſs in the World, to
inſinuate into the affections and favours of advanta-
gious Acquaintance, and both win Friends, and pre-
ſerve them, and eſpecially to cloak and diſguiſe
things with fictitious colours, which is the Maſter-
piece, and moſt uſeful Leſſon of Art, and Know-
ledge. This Report was perſwaſion enough for
Andrexio, to viſit his Greatneſs, and to be educa-
ted in a Court, or School rather of ſo much Poli-
cy; and being overcome with his Civilities, Itept
into the Coach, reaching out his hand to draw in
Critilo ; but he being more cautious and experienced
than the other, turned again to demand the Titles
and Name of this mighty Prince, who being ſo
great as Fame had reported, could not but be adorn-
ed with Titles and Honours equivalent to his Do-
minions. His Titles, anſwered this Officer, are
many, fumming up a Catalogue of Names, and Sur-
names, run over multitudes of Appellations, and
told him that every part of his Territories, and
ſucceſſes of his noble Atchievements, had inſerted
new
iio
The Spaniſh Critick.
Titles into the Liſt of his Honours : but his mort
natural
, and original name is not vulgarly received,
being his Majeſty and Greatneſs admits few to ſee
him, much leſs to know him: he is a King of much
Authority, not to be reckoned amongſt the petty
number of Provincial Princes, but one of great
State, whoſe retirement and difficulty of acceſs ren-
ders his perſon more åwful and reverenced. At the end
of Luſtrums or ſome period of years, his Courteſie
admits the longing curiolicy of fome to his pre-
ſence, which is a bleſling of their Fortune, and
exceſs of his favour; with this diſcourſe he had in-
ſenſibly drawn them out of the way, into another
Path more intricate and crooked, which when Cri-
tilo obſerved, he was deſirous to return from whence
he had crred, before it was too late ; but what
with the windings and turnings of the Road, and
with the perſwalion of the Guide, who confidently
aſſured them of his knowledge of the way, and the
multitude of the Paſſengers that they ſaw travel-
ling therein , he had mucli ado to retreat back.
Howſoever Critilo made a ſtop here, and coming to
a way with three Paths, was doubtful which way
to take, and therefore warned Andrenio to be now
careful of himſelf, and more watchful and cautious
then ever before. For being now
The Fountain come to the Fountain of Thirſt, ſo
of Tbird. named from the longing thirſt of
thoſe travellers, that were enamoured
with its Fame; for its curious invention exceeded
the Works of Juanelo, and the continual current
of its Waters was the celebrated Theme by he-
roick Poelie. Though the head aroſe and bubled
in the greenneſs of an open Plain, yet ſuch was the
concourſe, and croud that preſled to obtain a
draught
The Spaniſh Critick.
draught of this ſtream, that the wide and large
Champion round about ſeemed too narrow to re-
ceive the multitude of Viſitants; for ſuch was the
number that encircled this Fountain, and ſwelled
with the exceſs of the ſweet Waters, that one would
think the whole world were in this confluence met
together, and indeed few there wanted who ſucked
not at the fpouts of this renowned Fountain, The wa-
ter ſprang from ſeven Pipes, though not of Gold
but Iron, a circumſtance well obſerv'd by Critilo,and
alſo that the Spouts were not formed in the faſhion
of Lions, and Griffins, but of Serpents, and Dogs;
and though the water flowed in much abundance,
yet with ſuch thirſt did every one receive it, that
there was not one drop ſpilt, nor was there need
of a Pond or a Ciſtern to receive the over-flowing
Waters; for all praiſed the ſweetneſs of their taſte,
and being weary, and heated with their journey,
ſucked them in exceſſively, until they had filled their
Bodies with hydropical Humours. The Nobles,and
thoſe of higher quality, as more eſteemed, were
ſerved with Cups of Gold, which a pritty Nimph, the
Vintereſs of this Babylon, filled with much Courteſie,
and Compliments, and to entertain her Gueſts dan-
ced like a Courteſan before the ſtreams. Here An-
drenio both nioved with Thirſt, and with the pre-
ſent entertainment, unadviſedly approached to the
head of the Waters: But the cautious Critilo drew
him back. Hold, ſaid he, conſider well firſt, fee if
this be Water. what can it be elſe, replied he?
It may be Poiſon, and if not, yet it is always good,
eſpecially on the terms we now ſtand to ſuſpect
and fear all things, if my eyes deceive me not, ſaid
Andrenio it is Water clear and Criſtaline.
This , replied Critilo, is a ſign which I like the
worſt,
112
The Spanish Critick
worſt, the clearneſs makes me fuſpect it moſt; for
as with a pleaſant colour it often ſmiles, fo adulte-
rated Liquors, and beauteons out-fides, ferve com...
monly for a gloſs ta per forth an inward.corrupti-
on.
See but how the deceitfnl Water ſometimes
Smiles, and anon murmures, and acts the part of
flattering Courtfhip. Let me alone, replied Andre-
nio, let me ſatiate my ſelf with this Water, and re-
freſh my parching heat, for if I dye with Thirſt,
may
I not (if it be dangerous to drink) waſh away
this doft, bathe my eyes, and limbs, and refreſh my
Body fevoured with our Travels ? Nor this neither,
replied Critilo, for believe me, remit it to experi-
ence, behold others, and read my Leſſon in their
deſtruction. Obſerve the effect, and operation it
hath on theſe, who now come ; conſider what their
humour was before they went, and how different
they are now at their return. With that paſſed by
a great crowd of Paſengers, more lead with a thirſty
Defire, than Reaſon, plunged themſelves into the
Waters, and began to bathe and dabble, and to
waſh their eyes, that they might ſee clearer : but
it is well worth our obſervation, that theſe who at
firſt, were clear, and their skins fair, and of a na-
toral pale, were with the firſt touch of the Waters,
died like a Glaſs into ſeveral colours. Some were
blew, that whatfoever they faw, appeared like a
Sky, and their Raptựres ſo tranſporting as if they
had been catched into a Heaven, and there en-
throned. Theſe were Fools who contented them-
ſelves in their own Senſleſs Paradice;
Senſeleſs Cox- fome turned white like Milk, that what
foever they ſaw appeared good, and
acceptable, without fufpition of evil,
thus all deceived them, eſpecially if recommended
by
The Spanish Critick. 113
-
.
by the Flatteries of their Friends, with leſs caution
than a Polander they were ready to receive them.
on the contrafy others there were, who turned as
yellow, as Choler, their eyes malitious, always
made a paufe, as fearing Treaſon, they interpreted
the beſt kindneſs amiſs, abhorred So-
ciety, unleſs with circumfpection and Malitiou,
theſe were Men who had more of Ma-
lice, then of Judgment; fome turned green , fan .
cying all of the ſame colour, which being a badge, and
ſignification of Hope, gave encouragement to their
humorous Ambition : ſome turning
gray, and of watriſh eyes, grew ſtark Ambitiou.
blind : but it is ſtrange, that theſe
Waters did perfectly clear ſome mefis
eyes, and yet though they ſaw well, Envious.
they beheld ill, and theſe were envi-
ous ; ſome had the natural force of ſight, ſo em-
paired, not ſo much in the quality, as the quantity
of the Object; that Mole-hills, as in a Magnifying-
glaſs, appeared as Mountains, and ordinary Toyes,
applauded by a Caſtilian, for but being his own,
with praiſes as might befit the ultimate of all Per-
fection, and others on the contrary became of a
murmuring querulous Spirit, 'never contented with
the preſent Government, repining at the greateſt
careſſes, and embraces of Fortune. There was one
whoſe eyes read beſt at diſtance, he beheld all in a
large proſpect, eſpecially the dangers
of Death, and this was an unwary onwary.
Perſon. Another was of a Humour,
that he thought he had all ready at hand, and with
that Confidence aſſured himſelf to conquer diffi-
culties, that impollibilities were eſteemed eaſie; and
the Prey fure before it was taken; there were ma-
Unwary.
1
ny
I14
The Spanifts Critick
ny of a merry humour, that every
The Confident. Object they ſaw feemed to file up-
on then, that every one carefled, and
made much of them, and theſe were in a condition
of childith Folly. There was one obſerved to be
extremely contented, as in a Fools Paradice, he
fuppofed' to ſee always a viſion of Angels, and
there was nothing, that he faw, but he picked out
fome Beauty whereof to be enamoured; and this
they ſay was a Portugez, or the Nephew of Macias.
There was another who ſpoke of nothing but him-
ſelf; this was the Theine both to hegin, and con-
clude his diſcourſe ; one had his eyes ſo dazlcd, that
he ſuppoſed to ſee that which he never beheld; this
was a Man of a perver fe Will, and crooked Inten-
tion; he had eyes for his friends, and eyes for hvis
enemies much different; there were ſome Maternal.
and tender eyes that looked on a Dunghill Wormy
like an oriental Pearl, and ſome eyes cruel, like a
Step-mothers, which frowned with an evil afpect on
all : In fine, fome eyes were of a Spaniſh Black and
others of a French Azure. Such were the monſtru-
ous effects of this venemous Liquor, on the Bodies
of thoſe who bathed in it ; that fonie who only
walht their Mouth and Throat, became a more
ftrange Metamorphofis than the reſt; for their
tongues, which were of folid, and ſubſtantial felh,
turned into a fire, that the whole world was in
danger of its Flames; others into Wind, which
ſeemed to breathe a ſpirit of fallity, and like Bel-
lows puffed Mens Bragis full of the Air of lies, and
flattery.
Some that had Tongues of Silk, were turned into
Bayes, thoſe of Velvet into Saatin, others were
transformed into Tongues of Burleſque, confifting
.
of
The Spaniſh Critick.
115
of Scunt and Froth, without ſubſtance ; but the moft
of theſe had an impediment in their Speech, and
were congue-ty'd in modeft and decent discourſe;
fome women had their tongues eradicated, but in
anger talked the more, for having no tongue to ruke,
ſpoke at random. One began to ſpeak
Manners of
earneſtly loud. This, Said Andrenio,
Speech..
is a Spaniard; but Critilo, ſaid not, but
fome preſumptuous or confident boaſter, för he who
ſpeaks moſt deliberately, and ſoberly, is moſt com-
monly beſt heard, and underſtood. Indeed, ſo it is, faid
another, which he whiſtled out with an efteminate
Voice, like a French Man; but he was not ſo, but one
affected and fooliſhly nice. To meet him went forth
another, who ſpake as if he had a Plum in his Mouth,
chat all ſuppoſed him a German; but he anſwered he
was not, but one who to ſpeak fine and elegantly did
Dot regard whether his matter were to the purpose
or not. Another ſpake through the Teeth with
fuch a liſping pronunciation, that all believed him
an Andalucian, but others, who could better diftin-
guiſh Languages, judged him of a malevolent Tongue,
wbo Serpent-like hift out his Malice. Another in
a buſtle diſturbed all, and with an unquiet fpirit,
without knowing the teafon why, endeavoured to
diſcompoſe the whole World, having no other ex-
cufe, but that it was his natural infirmity, ſo that
he was ſuppoſed to be an Inander of Majorca; but
he was not of that Country, but a barbarous hot
brain'd Furioſo; another fpake, and none under-
ftood him, that they took him to be a Biſcayner,
but was not fuch, but one who was always making
Petitions and Requeſts; another fpake not at all,
but endeavoured wo be underſtood by ſigns, whom
till doridad and fcorned., This certainly is one, faid
I 2
Critilo,
116
The Spaniſh Critick.
"Critilo, who deſires to ſpeak the truth, but either
cannot, or dare not; others ſpake hoarſe and low,
theſe, ſaid he, muſt certainly be Parliament-men ;
but they were not ſo, but Men who were Counſel-
lors to none but themſelves; others ſnuffed words
in their noſe, which fome underſtood, and ſtamme-
ring anſwered them in the ſame Dialect, but nei-
ther appofitely, nor to the purpoſe., and ſome bi-
ting their tongues, ſpake inwardly, and anſwered
them as if the queſtions propounded to them were
troubleſome; ſome pronounced words hollow, as
from an inward found and cavity in their. Breaſts,
which was both as unpleaſing to the Auditors, as
troubleſome to themſelves. And ſo it was that none
remained with his own Voice either good or true,
no man ſpake clear, equal, or without artifice. So
all loſt the natural accent of their Tongues, but
feigned, deceived, lied, blaſphemed, and injured;
whence it ſeems that the French eſpecially, as good
fellows in this meeting, drinking in the freeſt plen-
ty to pledge the Italians, neither ſpeak as they
write, nor perform as they ſay, that a man had
need of good ears and good learning to underſtand
their Words, and Letters, but to apprehend them
rightly, you may interpret all to a contrary fence.
But the moſt peſtilential effect of this Liquor, was
ſhown in thoſe that drank it, that like a Vomit it
moved the stomach, as ſoon as taken in, to fpue it
forth again with all the true ſubſtance, and found
nouriſhment they had before, leaving room for wind
and air;for lies and deceits, with which they ſwelld as
with a Tympany. Their Hearts turned to cork void
both of Valour and Courteſie, their Entrails were
metamorphoſed into Stone, their Brains to Cotton,
dry and without Judgment, their Bloud hydropical
and
The Spaniſh Critick.
IIZ
and watriſh, without colour or heat;
their Breaſts, which ſhould be of Steel, Men of this
were turned into Wax, their nerves Age.
grew flaccid, as if the ſpring of their
motion, were compoſed of Wool, their feet as
clogged with Lead, moved with a ſlow pace to.
ward good, but like a Mercury winged to purſue the
flight of evil; their hands turned to pitch, which
graſped and retained all they touched; their tongues
blurrers of fame, their eyes paper; in fine, here
was the original of the worlds Metamorphoſis, the
cheat of vanity, and the beſt Maſter-piece of the
Worlds deceiver. The operation it had on poor
Andrenio, was, that the ſtrength of one drop, he
but ſupped in, did fo intoxicate his Brain, that
ever after he grew giddy, and reeled in the way of
Vertue. What do you think now, ſaid Critilo, of
this conſtant ſpring and ſtream of Fraud of this
tottering Manſion of the Worlds falſities? If you had
drank with the ſame liberty that others have done,
how had your Joints been diſſolved with its ſtrength
how had your Reaſon abated, and your feet tript
at every rubb ? Can you poſſibly eſteem ſo little
an eye clear of bloud, or beams, a tongue clean and
true, a Man of verity and ſubſtance, ſuch as a Duke
of Ofuna, or a Prince of Conde ? be-
lieve me he that is ſo, is as ſtrange Duke of Ollu-
and unuſual as a Phenix. Would one na Prince of
think, faid Andrenio, there ſhould be Conde.
ſo much evil in ſo ſmooth a water?
The more dangerous is it, replied Critilo, for thofe
ſmiles and gentleneſs are ſymptoms of its danger,how
is this Fountain called ? demanded Andrenio, which
he asked of one and the other, but none could in-
form him. At laſt Prateus anſwered him, that it had
I 3
no
118
The Spaniſh Critick.
no name, for in being unknown,conſiſted the elicaey,
and ſucceſs of its operation. why then, ſaid Critilo,
it may be called the Fountain of Deceits, of which
who once drinks is by the Vertue, and ſtrength there-
of metamorphos'd into another ſhape.
Critilo was now deſirous to turn back, but Andre-
nio could not, nor would conſent, and Proteus pref-
ſing them forward, would needs perſwade them
that it was better to be a Fool for
A Fool for
company,then ſingular and wiſe alone,
С отрапу.
Thus he led them aſtray, rather then
guided then, in by and croſs says,
through delightful Fields and Meadows, where
Youth ſtood ſporting in the pleafant Greens, un-
der the freſh Mades of leafy Boughs; but the Trees
wanting heart, and fap, were barren, and unfruit-
ful. By this time being come in view of the City,
they obſerved it to be covered with a Cloud of
ſinoak, a certain ſign, that it was inhabited by
Mankind. The Proſpect was compoſed of a plea-
ſing variety, and ſeçmed beſt at the fartheſt di-
ſtance; ſuch was the general concourſe of all Pro-
vinces to this common place of reſort, that the Road
was crowded with Travellers, which raiſed ſuch a
cloud of duſt,that nothing in the way thither could
be ſeen or obſerved; but in their nearer approach,
they eaſily perceived that that which at a farther
diftance appeared beauteous and comely, was with
in a confuſed maſs and heap, no Street, direct, or
ſtrait, but like a Labyrinth or Den of Minotaures.
Aildrenio was about raſhly to enter in, but Critila
pulling him by the Sleeve, faid, Hold open firſt
your eyes, thoſe inward Faculties, I fay of the Soul.
Whereupon he bended down to the Earth, and
Looking narrowly, he eſpied traps and flips covered
in
The Spaniſh Critick.
119
in the duſt, made with Golden threads, and fair
hair, to catch, and enſnare filly and unwary Inno-
cents. Obſerve well, ſaid he, where and how you
enter, let not your feet tread without an allay
firſt, and certainty of a ſecure, and firm foundati-
on; do not move one foot from my ſide, unleſs
you will wilfully precipitate your ſelf to an evident
deftruction; believe nothing, though urged with
Oaths, and Proteſtations, grant nothing, though pe-
titioned with the moſt fubmillivc hu-
mility; do nothing what they com Rules to Live.
mand, and to arned with thic Vertue
of this Leſlon, which is to Tee, and hear, and be
fifent, let us venture up this Street. All the Street
was rowed with the shops of Handicrafts-men, no
Forraign Labourer appeared there, whoſe ſim-
plicity was unpractiſed in the art of fraudulent
Dealings; through theſe Streets croft flocks of
Crows, which bred under the Eves of the Houſes,
and maintained a fociable familiarity with their
Landlords, which Andrenio judged for an ill omen,
that preſaged ſom future diſaſter. But Proteus in
formed him, and bid him not to wonder at this
,
for that theſe had not been the antient Inhabitants.
of the City, which Pythagoras in honour of his fool
iſh opinion, ſuppoſed to be the Souls of evillivers.
whom God for a juft puniſhment, had tranſmigra
ted into the Bodies of theſe irrational Creatures
making their being now the ſame with theirs, ſince
their death, whoſe actions they ſo fully imitated in
their life;the ſcarlet Souls of cruel Tyrants he transfa-
ed into Tygers, the Proud into the Lions Skin, and the
Souls of the diſhoneſt to animate the
Boar; but Souls of Artitans, eſpecially Mechanicks,
thoſe that make onrCloaths were covered
with
14
120
The Spaniſh Critick.
to morroTV,
with Crows feathers, for they having always
uſed to ſay to their cuſtomers, to morrow it ſhall
be done, to morrow without fail, hath aptly in
puniſhinent thereof, put the ſame
Cras fignifies term into their Mouths, that conti-
nual Cru, Criss, a time which eterni-
ty it felt ſhall never overtake.
But having paſſed the Suburbs into the heart, and
middle of the City they ſaw moſt ſtately Palaces,
magnificent Buildings, the firſt of which they ſaid,
was Solomon's Seraglio, (before any asked the que-
ſtion ) for there he lay flumbering amidſt of his
Three hundred Concubines, making Hell, with theſe
Sports, and Paſtimes equivocate a Paradiſe; in one
Houſe, which ſeemed a Fortreſs, but was no other
then a tottering Cottage, founded on an unſtabled
Sand, fate Hercules, made effeminate, ſpinningjwith
his Omphale, the ſhirt or winding-heet of his dy-
ing Fame ; at the ſame Window peeped out Sarda-
napalus, dreſſed in Womans habit, and attire; and
Marc Anthony not far from him, unhappy Man whoſe
Fortune was bath told and made by a Gipſie. In
another ruinous Caſtle, did not live, but died the
Goth Roderigo, ſince whoſe time the Nobles have
been fatal to Spain. Another Palace there was
half Gold, half Dirt, cemented with Humane Bloud,
this was the Houſe of extravagant Nero, whoſe
Reign began with the mild calm of a prodigious
Clemency, but ended with a ſtorm of bloudy Cru-
elty, within the next room fate Pedro the Cruel,
inad and enraged, grating his Teeth, and crackling
Bones with anger. There were other Edifices
erecting in all haſte, but none could tell as yet for
whom they were, though diverſly reported by the
World, certain it is, not for the enjoyment of thoſe
whoſe
The Spaniſh Critick.
I 21
whoſe pains and coſt raiſed the Structure, but for the
poſſeſſion of others, who perhaps as yet unborn, will
reap the fruits of anothers labour ; but one in a green
Coat ſtanding by, told them, that in this part of
the World live the deceived, and in the other the
deceivers ; theſe laugh at the others, and the others
at them again, but at the end of the year they bal-
lanced Accounts, one having no more
The Deceivers cauſe to laugh than the other. An-
deceived. drenis being weary of the company
of the deceived, deſired to ſee all,
and to divert his humour, would needs paſs to the
quarters of the deceivers, ſo that proceeding for-
ward, they found none but Merchants ſhops and thoſe
dark, having no other but Falſe, which they called
Shop-lights,to ſet off their counterfeit Ware; others
ſold falſe Teeth, and Peruwigs, and all ſorts of
Habits and diſguiſes for Comedians. There was one
Shop full of nothing but Foxes skins, which the
cunning Citizen ſwore, that they were more in de-
mand, and in eſteem than the beſt Sables, which
they eaſily believed, when they perceived the Shop
ſo well cuſtomed by the famous Themiſtocles , and
other modern Heroes of our time. It was really
the only Fur in faſhion here, for want of the Lions
skir, which was grown a ſcarce Commodity, be-
cauſe it was not in demand; and it is ſaid that the
ſubtleſt and greateſt Polititians uſed to line their
Garments therewith, inſtead of Ermines. In an-
other Shop, they ſold Spectacles by the Whole-
ſale to blind Men, ſo as neither to ſec, nor to be
feen, and theſe were all Grandees, who bought
them, for to blind their Porters, which carried
them on their Shoulders, that they might be the
more tractable and quiet, as they do Horſes to make
them
122 The Spaniſh Critick.
them ſtand ſtill. The married Wives bought them
up a pace to blind their Husbands with, and to
make them believe they loved them
more than they
did; ſome were like.multiplying Glaſſes, which were
of all ſorts, and ſizes for Young and Old, Men and
Women; and theſe were the deareſt, becauſe moſt
in demand; another Shop was full of Cork heels to
raiſe men in their Stature, and make them ſeem
more Perſonable than they are. But that which
moſt pleaſed Andrenio was to ſee Gloves an unknown
invention, and a novelty to him. What means this,
ſaid he, theſe ſeem to be an uſeful contrivance for
all occaſions, againſt the Heat, and Cold, the Sun,
and Air,nay they are very convenient for thoſe, who
have nothing elſe to do, were it only to put
them off and on. Above all, ſaid Critilo, they take
moſt excellently a Perfume, and is the cheapeſt way
to conſerve rich ſmells. How well you underſtand
it, replied the Glover, if you had ſaid they ſerve
to mask the Fingers, that they ſhould not behold
the hands, you had hit the difficulty; for there are
thoſe who catch at their Prey with Gloves on. How
can that be ſaid Critilo, for that is againſt the Pro-
verb? The Proverb, ſaid he, alas ! Sir, all Proverbs
now either lie, or are belied, for there are Game-
ſters now adays that hunt in Gloves, and though
the Proverb ſays, the mouſing Cat preys not with
Mittens, it here meets an exception ; -and let me
tell you, that more is given now for Gloves than
formerly for Cloaths. Reach me onc, ſaid Critilo,
that I may try it.
Having thus paſt the Streets of Hypocriſie,
Oſtentation, and Artifice, they came at laſt to the
Market-place on which was erected a famous Palace,
overtopping all the reſt, and fituated in the Heart and
Centre
The Spaniſh Critick. I 23
Centre of the City, it was ſpacious, but not uni-
form, nor of equal proportion, but all angles and
confufion, had no proſpect nor equality, many Gates
it had, but all falſe, and thole ſhut, and more
Towers and Pinnacles than Babilon it felf. The
Windows were green, a grateful colour to the
ſight, promiſing fair, and deceiving moſt. Here
lived, or rather lay undiſcovered that hidden Mo-
narch of the World, who one day appeared in pub-
lick to honour certain Feaſts which he had dedica-
ted to the deceived Vulgar, to whom it was not
permitted to argue, or ask queſtions. His facred
Majeſty fate retired under the cautious covert of
his Jealouſie, or Latices, and this day more eſpe-
cially he deſired to ſit cloſe, intending to entertain
the People with the Subtletics, and Legerdemains
of a cunning Jugler. The People, for the more
common view of all, had made a Ring to ſee theſe
Exploits, and ſwarming like Flies, ſetled thein-
felves on the filth of evil Cuſtoms, till they ſwel-
led with the ordure and filth which they had ſuck-
ed from Moral Wounds. At the Vulgar applauſes
mounted an eloquent Impoſtor, on a ſtage above
the people, and with more Impudence than good
Manners, after an affected Prologue, began to act
ſuch rare Subtleties, and Frauds, that an innumera-
ble number of people ſtood aſtoniſht at his devices.
Amongſt the reſt of his tricks, he perſwaded ſome to
open their Mouths, promiſing to fill them with ſome
rare Julip or Comfects, which they ſwallowing
down, it gave them immediately ſuch a Vomit, that
they ſpeued forth moſt vile Corruption, and beaſt-
ly Ordure, ungrateful to themſelves, and ridiculous
to the Beholders. This pratling Charlatan made
them believe he had fwallowed Cotton, and open-
A
ing
124 The Spaniſh Critick.
ing his Mouth, there iſſued out a thick ſmoak, and
flame of Fire greater than his Art could quench.
Sometimes he ſwallowed down Paper, anon he
drew out Ribons from his throat, but it was all a
Cheat, and a meer deception of the eye. Andrenio
was much pleaſed to ſee this entertainment, and
began to praiſe his Art. It is well, ſaid Critilo, he
hath deceived you amongſt the reſt, who notwith-
ſtanding our Lectures of Morality, cannot yet diſtin-
guih Truth from Appearance.Who do you think this
confident Gipſie is ? it is the falſe Polititian, the
cunning Machiavil, who gives Potions of his falſe
Aphoriſms, to the greedy Throat, and vitiated Pa-
late of the Ignorant, which being plauſible, appear
true to them ; but being well examined, are no
other than painted Corruption, and
The cuning
the gilded Pills of Sin, and Vice, not
Fugler. ſo much the Plots of State, as devices
fit for the Stalls of Beaſts : he ſeems
indeed to carry a mildneſs in his lips, and ſuavity
in his tongue, and yet breaths infernal Flames, con-
fumes good Manners and Cuſtoms, and burns up the
flouriſhing condition of Republiques; that which
ſeems Ribons, are ſuch Politick Laws as tye and
bind up the hands of Vertue, and looſe the rave-
nous claws of vice; the Paper he ſwallowed is the
Book and Pandects of Falſity, and that which in the
form of Truth invites ſo many Fools and Knaves to
receive pernitious Maxims. Believe me all here is
deceit , it would be better to diſengage our ſelves
quickly and retreat back; But Andrenio taken with
theſe paſtimes, deſired another days recreation here,
having received much ſatisfaction with that which
was paſt. Scarce was it day (though there, ſeldom
more than a dim twilight appears) before the impa-
tient
The Spaniſh Critick
125
tient Vulgar weary of their Beds, returned again to
the ſame Stage deſirous of the ſecond days Feſtival ;
the repreſentation was a Maſque of various Appari-
tions, and Scenes, acted on the grand Theater of
the Univerſe. Andrenio was not backward to be
one of the firſt Spectators, induced thither by his
own fancy, and Critilo aſſented thereunto that he
might advance his knowledge, and encreaſe his ex-
perience. Here now, inſtead of Muſick, which is
the raviſhment of our Sences, and uſual Prologue
to a Comedy, were the harſh and untunable clatte-
rings of Tongs, and Kettles, and inſtead of tuned
Inſtruments, and the raviſhing Quavers of a Voice,
the doleful lobs of deceived Wretches grated their
Ears, and in the concluſion, or laſt Act, entered a
Man, or one rather newly ſtript out of his childiſh
years, known by his Habit and Faſhion to be
a Stranger, though ragged and naked, had no
ſooner (being one whoſe Laments kept Conſort
with the Muſick) wiped off the tears from his
eyes, .but inſtantly ſtept out one to meet him as
complemental as a Courtier, giving him the wel-
come, and deſiring his Commands wherein to ſerve
him: He made large profers to him, in what his
Abilities could reach, or he deſire in a ſtrange
Country, and all with ſuch an affluencey of Com-
plement, that the credulous Stranger turned that
to Deeds, which he only promiſed in words. At
firſt he invited him to his Houſe, a place as full of
Inventions, as void of Realities, where he freely
preſented him with Giſts, and ſtripping off his
Rags ſeemed as if he would perform the act of
charity in cloathing the naked; but yet with ſo
Nlight an art, that what his right hand ſeemed com-
pallionately to beſtow, his left hand with as much
cunning
126 The Spaniſh Critick.
cunning Jugled away : upon his Head he put a Hat
with a Band of Diamonds, but that on a ſudden it
was hooked away without knowing how, nor where,
which he excuſed with a multitude of Comple-
ments; then he gave him a rich Jewel, which with
ás much dexterity as the former, went the ſame
way, placing in the room a counterfeit Stone, anon
he attired him with a coſtly Robe, which in the
twinkling of an eye, was converted to a Winding-
Iheet, a tad Spectacle, and at length being left in
cuerpo, was laughed at by all there preſent, who
took no ſmall delight to ſee the ſimplicity of the
Forraigner fo wittily deceived. But whilſt they
were attentive on him, they obſerved not how the
art was operating on themſelves, who inſenſibly had
their Pockets picked, loſt their Cloaks, and looking
one on the other, it was ſome comfort to them to
have Companions in the ſame misfortune; at length
every one flunk away, more troubled for their lofs
then aſhamed of the Cheat. This was no fooner
gone, but entered another Wheedler, who promi-
ſed more civility then the former, and like an Epiá
care, treated of nothing but Senſualities, and to fa-
tisfie the enormous Lafts of his own Appetite, in
order to which he prepared a plentiful Table, with
all Varieties of Sallets, and quelquechoſes, and ſet
out Chairs for the Gueſts, one whereof without
farther ceremony taking the chief Seat, had it (ipt
from under him, and fo fell with the common ſhout
of the whole Theater; but fuddenly a compaſſionate
Woman applied her aſiſtance to recover him, and
giving him her hand helped him up to be parta-
ker in the remaining Banquet, but the Meat was all
imaginary and fantaſtick, the Pye was empty, and
hollow, the Gammon was dried to nothing, and the
Birds,
The Spaniſh Critick.
127
9
Birds, had only the names of Partridges crude and
without ſubſtance, and the Salt falling with him was a
token of ill luck, and the occaſion that the Meat was
without taſte or favour; the Bread which ſeemed
of the pureſt Flower, was gritty and full of Sand,
neither Bran, nor any courfneſs fifted from it;
the third courſe was of the Fruit of Sodom, dry,
and choaky, and the Cup they drank out of, full of
leaks, and holes, that they fucked
Our Life a more of Air, then Wine ; their Mu-
Tragedy. fick was but drunken Acclamations;
at the midſt of the Banquet, one al-
ready ſatisfied glutted after his cager greedineſs
and ſleepy with a full Stomach, repoſed his Body on
a falſe ſupport, which wanting force for the weight
he laid on it, gave way, and ſo falling, counted evc-
ry ſtep backwards, till at laſt he came to the Earth,
where he was ſtified in the ill Air of Mire and
Filthineſs. Of all the preſent Spectators of his Fall
there was not one fo much as to alliſt him, un-
till looking on all fides to ſee if any would compal-
ſionate his caſe, he ſpied an old Man, whoſe age
he thought was paſt the wagery of Youth, to him
he reached his hand, and deſired his help, which
he readily gave, and not only alliſted him with
his hand, but lifted him on his ſhoulders, but
but he being lame with age, and no leſs falſe then
the reſt, in a few paces, ſtrumbled on his Crutches,
and fell into a ſecret ſnare of Flowers, and greeneſs
of effeminacy, where he Nited him off, catching at his
fying Coat, let his Body drop where it was no more
ſeen, nor heard of; at which the Mechanick Theater
fouted with acclamations, and thereby performed
the Obſequies of his dying Memory. Every one,
even Andrenio himſelf, clapt their hands applauding
the
128
The Spaniſh Critick.
if you were · in his condition
the Jeſt, and Trick of the one, and the ridicu
lous Folly of the other. Andrenio turning himſelf
to Critilo perceived he did not only laugh as the
reſt, but ſighed to ſee the madneſs of this age. What
is the matter, ſaid he, is it poſſible tliat you with
ſo much affected ſingularity ſhould go in oppoſition
to the common humour, when ſome laugh, you
Weep, and in their rejoicings you lament? It is
true, ſaid Critilo, for this hath been rather a tor-
ment, and ſpectacle to exerciſe my Patience, then
a paſtime for my pleaſure, and if your experience
and judgment knew how to interpret theſe paſſa-
ges, you would fide with me, and be partaker in the
fame reſentment. Why, who is this, replied An-
drenio,but a "credulous Forraigner, whoſe folly is his
deſtruction, and his ears being open to all Stories,
is ſubject to all Frauds, and is paid with that gulle-
ry,which his indiſcreet facility hath deſerved;ſuch an
one I would rather deride, then pity and in this cafe
be rather a Democritus , then an Heraclitus. Tell me;
whom you thus deſpiſe, What would you fay?
Who I, ſaid he, in his condition, how is it
poſible, that I who am alive, healthful, and per-
haps more in my Wits than he ſhould fo far out-
run them as to arrive at this pitch of madneſs?
This is the error, replied Critilo, know then that
this unfortunate Stranger, is a Man as we all-are,
who enters Weeping on this Tragick Theater, is
encountred with the Songs, and Enchantments of Fal-
fity, as a remedy of his Melancholy: naked he comes
in, and as empty goes out; which is all the treat-
ment he receives from ruinous Maſters;his entrance is
encoyngred by the firſt Deceiver, which is the
Worla,
3
!
The Spanish Critick. 129
World, who proffers and complies in nothing, gives
and enriches him with the ſpoils of another, which
he ſuddenly returns to challenge again, and to draw
away with one hand, what the other offered, that
all thoſe Gifts, and Careſſes of Fortune, at laſt like
Smoak vaniſhed in nothing. The other, which in-
vited his Appetite to the Feaſts of Senſualities, was
a Deceiver, who importunately vext this Gueſt,till
he was fallen into the Sins of Luft, and after as
much tormented him, with the pangs of Conſci-
ence; the Meat was without ſubſtance and nouriſh-
ment, the Drink a poiſonous Potion, or at the beſt
but a falſified Liquor, which fumed and intoxicated
the Brain, that caſt him down, and his fall received
with the Songs of Sorrow, and the Acclamations
of Miſery, the vile Rabble of Fortune. Laſtly,
that old Hypocrite the worſt of all, inveterate with
Malice, was Time, which tript up his heels, and caſt
him into the Grave, where he left him dead, foli-
tary, naked, and forgotten: So that if we obſerve
well, all take advantage on miſerable Man. The
World deceives him, Life flatters him, Fortune de-
rides him, Health forſakes him, his Youth palles,
Felicity withdraws, Years fly away, and Contented
ones come not, Time runs, his Life ends, Death
catches him, the Grave devours him, the Earth
covers him, Putrifaction diſſolves him, Oblivion
ſwallows him, and he who yeſterday was a Man, ,
to day is Duſt, and to morrow nothing. But how
long ſhall we looſe precious Time, let us return to
our former Road, our ſtreight and direct way; for
here is nothing that we can expect more, unleſs to
entangle our felves in a labyrinth of Errors; but
Andrenio, bewitched with this Vanity, and having
found gratious reception in the Palace, became an
K
Idola
130
The Spaniſh Critick.
Idolator of this Kings Greatneſs, which was fan-
taſtick, without reality or ſubſtance : The many fa-
vours he had received there, and the good eye
with which he was looked on by the greateſt Mi-
niſters, made him promiſe himſelf no linall Prefer-
ment; he made often means and friends to be admit-
ted to the preſence of his Majeſty, and to kiſs his
Feet, though he wanted thoſe Parts, being an im-
perfect piece of Nature. Critilo returned again to
him, deſiring and perſwading with what Arguments
he could, his departure; and being at length wea.
ried with his importunity, and requeſts, at laſt con-
ſented to his demands: But being come to the Gates
of the City, with an intention to leave it. O unhap-
py Fortune! they were ſtopped by the Guards
who ſuffered all to come in, and none to go forth,
ſo that they were forced to return again, and to
lament the miſery of this Snare, into which they
were fallen. Andrenio returned again to the former
folly of his antient pretentions, who was yet en-
tertained with large promiſes, but no performance.
Which Critilo objected as an argument to wean his
affections. But which way their eſcape was effected is
related in the following Criſis, together with the Acts
of the famed Artemia,
The
ܪ
.
**
A
:
The Spaniſh Critick.
131
The Eighth CRISIS.
The Miracles of Artemia.
A
..
Reſolute Courage is a good remedy againſt
an unconſtant Fortune, an humble Nature
will bear patiently the ſeverity of Laws; Art, and
Science overcomes the unpoliſhed rudenes of Na-
ture, and a diſcreet Judgment is a ſecure protecti-
en in all difficulties. For Art perfeets Nature, is
a ſecond Being, endeavors to adorn the firſt, and
pretends to exceed the rude lines of her work with
a better Air, and neater Curioſity. Well may ſhe
glory to have created another World, and re-
formed its rudeneſs
,
that what blots and
errors Nature hath committed and blurred,
Art hath expunged, and been an alliſtant to her
feeble Operations. This without doubt was the
employment of Man in Paradiſe, when God ina
veſted him with a Power of Predominancy over the
World , to rule and make up the diſcompoſed
Breaches, which was but to poliſh Nature, and to
teach rude clownery a more artificial Behaviour.
So that art is a trimming of Nature, the mount of this
level Simplicity, and miraculous in her Works; ſo
that if a deſart by the Gardners hand may be turn-
ed to a Paradiſe; Why ſhould it not take the fame
K 2
effort
132
The Spanilla Critick
2
cffect in the Soul, and cultivate the over-grown Soil
of Mans Reaſon. Let then our Roman Youth try
theſe Myſteries, view the effects on Andrénio, who
now though.clouded, and captivated in the confuſi-
ons of this Court, is yet ranſomed with Felicity
and by Critilo's importunities obtained his Liberty.
There was a Queen, whoſe prodigious Miracles
and Actions had celebrated her praiſes in the far-
theit World; her Territories bordered on the Con-
fincs of this Kirg, lo that ſuch potent Neighbors,
differently diſpored, muſt neceffarily contract ha-,
trods and diſtaltes, which breaking out into Wars,
often ended in a bloudy concluſion. This Lady
was called (for never did ſhe belie her name, or
2tioas) the wiſe, and diſcreet Artemis, farned in all
Ages, and her Actions chronicled to all Poſterity.
Every one ſpake honourably of her, and with that
variety of adoration worſhipped her as the diſtincti-
on of Religions, directed their Devotions, and
though the Wiſe, and Prudent were only thoſe
(and amongſt them the Duke del Infintado) who
had procuired a true and right notion of her Worth;
vet the Vingar report ſpake her to be a famous
Meden, an Enchantreſs whoſe Art worked not like
the Charins of Circe, which metamorphos'd Men
inco Beaſts, but rather diſinchanted, and regenera-
red the bewitched eſtate of Man into original Rea-
lon. Some ſay they have ſeen enter into her Houſe,
ſomething without ihape, a brute, or Beaſt, which
in a few days, ſhe turned to ſo different a Nature,
that he became a polite Work, and piece of Ra-
tionality; ſhe made the blind Mole more acute în
Sight then the ſpotted Linx ; Crows ſhe hath turn-
ed into the mild innocency of candid Doves, the
timorous Hare hath received a Lions courage, and
the
The Spaniſls Critick.
133
the ignoble Kite become as long Winged, and ge-
nerous as the Eagle: a Horſe committed to her
Charge, proceeded as an effect of her School, clo-
quent in Speech, ſo that they generally reported, fre
taught Beaſts to ſpeak, but of greater' honour it
was,
that in convenient occanions The taught them
filence. She infpired Hife into Statues, and gave
breach to appearing Shadows. Out of lumps of
Clay ſhe produced Fleſh; into giddy Fancies lie
infuſed Gravity; the Dwarf ſhe hath raiſed to ą
Giants Stature, and turned a pilh Poſtures to a com-
poſed Countenance; of a ſcoffing Jeſter he hath
made a ſevere Cato, and by the ſtrength of nouriſh-
ment, ſhe hath nurtured a Pigmy Infant to a lofty
Tipheus, ſuch as were Men only in Title, and Name;
the hath really and ſubſtantially made them fo ;
to the Blind the hath given Sight, and fixed the
Lights of Reaſon like Argus's Eyes ; ſhe hath quit-
ted the prejudice of the blind intereſted, and againſt
their own advantage obliged them to profeſs Veri-
ty. Men but of Straw and Clouts, Me hath turned
into true and unfeigned Figures; from the Viper ſhe
hath pluckt his Sting, and not only cleanled its
Venom, but made it an Antidote againſt other Poi-
fons; her Art hath been moſt extollcd, in the great-
cſt difficulties, and her skill then moſt renowned
when it worked on the bad Materials of uncapable
Subjects; for into dull Wits, ſhe hath inſtillcd \vif
dom; he hath not only endued the proſperous
with Memory, but the unhappy with Judgment and
Diſcretion; a meer Fool the hath made a Seneca ;
an ignorant Citizen a high Politician, and an uns
skilful Soldier ſhe advanced to a knowing Commaa.
der. Of ſome deformed Monſters ſhe hath made
Angels, a Miracle that the Feminine Sex ought to
K3
eſteem
- Mimos ho *
134
The Spaniſla Critick.
eſteem and gratefully to acknowledge. Of a ruinous
Deſart ſhie liad oft compoſed a delitious Garden, and
gave ſo much vertue to the Soil, that Trees began
there to radicate where but lately a Shrub wanted
moiſture. A Court, and City ſhe had formed, and
rendred as polite and neat as Florence it ſelf; nor
was it impoſible that her exploits ſhould erect a
triumphant Rome. In this manner did every one
diſcourſe of her Actions, not as if he had produ-
ced them by Miracle, but as plauſible and honeſt
effects of her own Power.
Critilo had ſoon intelligence of this Lady, for his
troubles obliging him to ſeek a remedy, he was the
more inquiſitive to receive an exact information
concerning Artemia; and in regard that all the Ar-
guments and Perſwaſions which Friendſhip ſuggeſted
were little available to the deaf Ears of Andrenio, he
reſolved to depart, and to force his way againſt all
difficulties, which he found not ſo environed with
obſtacles, but that he, who was reſolute to eſcape,
might find a door; from whence I ſay reſolving to
depart, he found an eaſier paſſage then was expect-
ed, and remained as happy as contented, and being
freed from any detentions, followed the Road that
directed to the deſired Court of Artemia, to conſult
about a remedy which might uncaptivate his beloved
Friend, whom ſo much the more he entertained in
his Thoughts, by how much the farther the di-
ſtance of the way had ſeparated him from his foci-
ety. Many Paſſengers he encountred in the way, who
journied thither, ſome for curioſity, others for their
advantage and profit; the wiſeſt and moſt obfer.
ving, paſſed their Journey with Stories of her Acti-
pns, how ſhe had made Lions to couch at her feet,
and
The Spaniſh Critick. 135
trons
and transformed them into humane Souls, and with
muttering ſome few words diſinchanted Serpents ,
and raiſed their crawling Bowels from the duſt
and erected their Heads towards Heaven: how the
had ſucked out thc Venom from the Baſilisks eyes,
that an Infant might behold them without danger
of emiſſions, or infections, which dart into youth-
ful tenderneis; all which were things as rare as pro-
fitable. All this is nothing, ſaid another, her pow.
er can charm the Syrens Songs, tranſ-
form their laſcivious Tongues into Chaft Mi-
chaft Matrons, make the ravenous
Wolf become a mild Turtle, and
the higheſt that poſſibly can be imagined a ſenſual
Venus,take thc Vow of a Veſtal Virgin. All agreed
that this was very admirable and rare. The Ar-
tificial Palace of this Queen, was ſituated on an emi-
nent riſing, where the commanded the Waters to
aſcend in Streams in token of their obedience to
her powerful Art, in imitation of
which that famous * Artiſt invented * The Inventi-
thoſe Chriſtal Fountains, that ariſe on of Juanne-
like dews from the running Tagus ; works of To-
her Garden was crowned with Flow- ledo.
ers, ſurrounded with Beds of Pinks,
Prodigies of fragrancy and odours; for the Brambles
produced Roſes, which faded not like other Flow-
ers, but continued their lively bluſh, and ſweet
ſmells, as rarities in all ſeaſons of the year, the
very Elms produced Pears, and the Thorns Grapes,
the choaky Aragon Pear changed its Nature, and
turned Mellow, and became more delitious then
the Bergamot,and the dry Cork-Tree ſweated forth
drops of Necar; in the Pools were heard the con
tinual harmony of melodious Swans, which was an
unknown
to in tbe Water
7
K4
136 The Spaniſh Critick.
unknown Note to Critilo; for though the vulgar
Specch report them to ſing their own Funeral Ob-
ſequies, yet ſo rare is one Song from them, that
none can ſay he hath been an Auditor of their fad
neſs; for they being of a candid, and undeceiving
Nature, if they fing, it muſt be in the Satyrick
Meteor of unſavory Truth, which fo grates the
cars of the generality, that they think it more con-
venient to be ſilent, till either their Agony, and
Pangs of Conſcience force them to breathe out
Truth, or that then in their lafi farewell they fear
not to pronounce boldly their own Sence, fearing
neither puniſhment, nor loſs of Eſtate ; hence it is
Taid, that ſuch a Preacher, or that Miniſter ſpake
clearly, that ſuch a Secretary of State confeſt and
publiſhed Secrers, and that this Councellor diſcloſed
the moſt inward Thoughts of his Breaſt, and breathed
out Truth together with his life. At the Gate
ſtood a Lion, a gentle Porter, whoſe fierceneſs had
been lately turned to the Manſitude of a Lamb, and
a Tiger to a Sheeps innocency; at the Balconies
appeared pratling Birds, who yet worked, and dif-
courſed together with the prating Parrot, who
held the Diſtaff? The Cats and Domeſtick Ani-
mals of that Houſe, were not ravenous
nor
given to prey, but Loyally acknowledged 'their
mighty Empreſs, and each day proſtrating at
her feet, renewed profeſſions of obedience. At
her door attended multitudes of modeſt Virgins,
well faſhioned, and comely, though Mechanicks
and of mean Degree. The more Noble and inge-
pugus Ladies, all Attendants of the diſcreet Artes
mia, were advanced to ſuch Forms, as ſome vertu-
tuous Heroes thought fit to advance them, repart-
ing unto every one their peculiar Leſſons and Places
of
The Spaniſh Critiek. 137
of Preferment; in judging of which, and of every
ones particular Abilities, the chief Arbiter employ-
ed was Don Vincentio de Laſtanoſa. Her Mouth was
little and modeſt, her Eyes full, and piercing, her
Speech though grave yet pleaſing, and above all, in
her hands were of Soveraign Quality, that they
· gave life to thoſe on whom ſhe laid them, and
worked a Miracle on benumbed Souls ; her beha.
viour was with a good air, and faſhion, her body
handſomely proportioned; In fine, all ſhe did, be-
came her, and all her actions were full of Art and
Vertue.' Critilo being arrived', had Audience of
her, with the greateſt Civilities and Courteſie, that
could be exprelled, for ſhe quickly diſcovered his
conſtancy and inclinations to Vertue...and judged of
his good Nature and Affability from the ingenuity of
his Countenance, which is the Index and Character
of the Soul. Whilft Critilo approached near to kiſs
her hands, The retired with ſome wonder back-
ward, to ſee one ſuch a Maſter in Vertue, to enter
the School, and one ſo wiſe to walk unaccompa-
nied, in regard that Society is affected by the
Wife, and carries with it much of the comelineſs
of the Graces, which are at leaſt three in number
but he preſſing forward, let fall a floud of tears,
and anſwering, ſaid, I was not wont to walk thus
ſolitarily alone, for I had once another Compani-
on, whom I now give over for loſt, by means of an
ill Conductor, and a trateirous Guide, who in this
Country ſometimes directed us,and at laſt deſtroy-
ed us ; 'in his behalf, I apply my ſelf to you, Thou
fole Remedy of Misfortunes, petitioning your fa-
vour to reſcue my other ſelf, who remains a diſtref-
ſed Captive, and the more unfortunate, becauſe I
know not where, nor how, nor with whom, I loft
him,
139
The Spaniſh Critick.
him. If you know not, replied fhe, where you left
him, or with whom, how ſhall we know where to
find hiin? This I commit to the skill of your myſte-
rious Art, ſaid he , for he remains in the Court of
a famous King (whence 1 durſt ſwear, he could ne-
ver be recovered) an Emperor univerſally power-
ful, and only fingular in being unknown. Hold,
faid ſhe, I underſtand you now, without doubt he
remains in the great Babylon (but no Court) of my
great enemy Falismund, in whoſe Territories the
whole World runs to confuſion, and all haſten their
end there, becauſe they know not, nor conſider it.
However take good Courage in a bad Fortune, and
our Policy ſhall not be wanting to countermine his
deceit, and ſo calling one of her chiefeſt Miniſters,
and greateſt Confidents, who attended with great
readineſs, and being a perſon of much Reſolution,
and Illuſtrious for his Integrity, and clear Dealing,
the committed to him the charge of this buſineſs.
Critilo having informed him concerning the particu-
lars of all paſſages, Artemiz gave him directions
and therewith a Glaſs of pure Criſtal, the famous
Workmanſhip of one of the ſeven Greeks, and ha-
ving acquainted him of the efficacy and vertue of
it,and how to make uſe of it, ſhe referred the reſt to
his own management Before he departed he cloathed
hinsfelf after the fafhion of that 'Country, in the Li-
very of Falimund, which was made up of many
Folds, Linings, Furrs, Counter-Furrs, covered with
Coats, and Caflocks, and over all a Cloak to hide
Frauds; and in this manner he departed to comply
with his Commands and Confidence repoſed in
him,
7
Critila
"
The Spaniſh Critick.
139
Critilo was as much contented as favoured in the
Court of Artemia , entertaining himſelt with im-
proving his knowledge, and every day obſerving
Miraculous operations; for there he ſaw (what
fcemed impoſible) a rugged Clown transformed to
a refined Courtier, a Mountanier to become a Gen-
tleman, and Principal in his Art; nor was it fels
wonderful, that a Biſcayner ſhould be made an Elo-
quent Secretary. There were Cloaks of Baze
transformed into Velvet, the Scholars rags of Po-
verty to eminent Purple, and the Novitiates
Bonnct
to an Epiſcopal Mitre.' Thoſe who commanded in
one part, ſhe hath given Commiſſion for another:
the poor Shepherd of a thin Flock, ſhe hath made au
univerſal Paſtor: Beſides, her power knows no li-
inits, but works moſt intenſe at the fartheſt diſtance
for fome have ſeen a Poſt-Boy promoted to Beth-
lem Gabor, and a Lacquay, to a Lord of Tenza; and
there are Witneſſes how, in former times the Goad
hath grown into a Scepter, and a Scrivener become
a C&fær ; the ſhadows of one night over-paſt ſhe.
hath fo changed and altered the Faces of ſome
that their intimate Friends have ſcarce taken acs
quaintance of their altered countenances ; their
Judgments, opinions, and wills, have been changed,
and their Affections reformed. Meu of wild, and
and unconſtant Brains have been made grave and fem
vere; and others of vain and empty Carriage have
been confirmed in folidity, and ſubſtance. In like
manner ſhe hath ſupplied all the defects and infirm
mities of the Body, for on ſome ſhe hath beſtowed
ſhoulders, feet, hands; to others the hath given
eyes, teeth, and hair ; but above all ſhe hath cured.
the rotten Ulcers, and gangrings in the heart; alt
which are not leſs than Miracles of her admired
Arr:
140 The Spaniſh Critick.
Art. But what Critilo moſt admired was to ſee her
ſhave, and hew an unfaſhioned Log, a Trunk, an
unformed Lump, till ſhe brought it both to the Form
and Rationality of a Man, which could ſpeak, dif-
courſe and reaſon in a manner as was worth the atten-
tion, but let us leave him here a while entertained,
and follow the diſcourſe of this prudent Miniſter,
who is now on his journey , and purſuit of Andre-
Hio, remaining as yet in the Court of the famous
Faliſmund.
Still did the drunken Surfet of the Bacchanalian
Feaſts go forward, the Streets were filled with Sports
and Maſcarades, walked with more licentiouſneſs
then in Barcelona it ſelf, both Men and Women
fported in diſguiſed Habits, faſhioned not only in
the mode and cloak of Sin, but in the white attire
of Sanctity and Vertue, whereby the credulous
fimplicity of ſome was deluded, though the wiſe
clear-ſighted Men, knowing them well, adviſed
them to unmask themſelves. It is a thing very ob-
Servable, how deſirous all were to cloath themſelves
in forraign Habits, and ſome contrary or different
to their Natures; for the Fox put on the skin of the
Lamb, the Serpent the feathers of the
Feigned Men. Dove, the Ufurer deſired to paint his
Avarice with the Twins of Charity,
the Adulterer to be filed the familiar Friend of the
Husband, the wolf ambitious to be elecemed Ab.
ſtemious, the Lion to be accounted as gentle and
mild as the Sheep, the Cat affected with a Roman
Beard, would hear of nothing but Rome's Cuſtoms,
the Alle would imitate the Lion, whilſt he is ſilent,
and the angry Dog that ſnarls, affected to ſhew his
Teeth in ſmiles and laughter. This faithful Offi-
cer
The Spaniſh Critick.
141
.
cer travelled in queſt of Andrenio, through croſs-
ways, and by-paths, and though he was skilful,and
wary enough to avoid crrors, yet ſo was he changed,
that he knew not Critilo himſelf, for his Eyes were
now clouded with a miſt, not fully open, as former-
ly, but dimmed, and a little obſcured; for the Of-
ficers of Faliſmund do chiefly deſign at firſt to vitiate
or debilitate the sight of Strangers; for that be-
ſides his Voice began here to fail him and to change
both pronounciation, and accent, his Ears grew
deaf and the reſt of his Sences diſturbed and diltem-
pered, that if man each hour hath his Changes
and in the evening is altered from his mornings
Strength; what can we expect but a Change in thofe
who deſcend from Vertues more different Climate,
to the Centre of Error and Falſity. But yet break-
ing through all difficulties, with much induſtry and
diligent enquiry he came at laſt to hear of Andre-
nio, and one day found him employed in what he
uſually loſt his hours, in beholding others ſport away
their Wealth, and make an end both of their Eſtate
and Conſcience : for there he ſtood gazing at a
Match at Tennis, the moſt natural and faſhionable
Entertainment of the World, which was perform-
ed in the high Street by Parties of different Na-
tures and Conditions: the one ſide was black, and
the other white one tall, the other low, thefe
rich, and the other poor, and all dexterous Game-
ſters, and accuſtomed to the ſport, in which they
eternally conſumed their time, and thoughts. The
Balls were puft with wind, in faſhion like Mens
heads, which the Ball-maker had filled with blaſts,
at the eyes, and ears, making them as hollow as
empty; thus one giving the word, warned them to
play with attention. All, ſaid he, is but ſport and
madneſs,
2
:
142
The Spaniſh Critick.
Tenni.
madneſs, and with that gave the Ball ſo hard a
Itroak, that it flew through the Air, by the vertue
of that violence which the blow had impreſſed on
it, which another taking at the rebound, returned
it again without ſuffering it to reſt from its moti-
on. Thus all endeavoured to kick, and foot away
this common Ball, for in that conſiſted their dexté-
rity and Victory. Sometimes it was tolled ſo high,
that it was out of ſight, anon fo low, that it bound-
ed and triiled on the ground, ſo as to bemire it ſelf
with the filth and ordure of the Earth; ſome kick-
ed it with their feet, others ſtroak
The Game at
with their hands, but the moſt with
Rackets in the form of tongues, that
ſometimes it mounted through the air,
and again deſcending quarrelled ivith the ground,
fuffering great varieties and changes of Fortune;
one cried out he won Fifteen, and ſo he did, for at
thoſe years Men gain Vice, and looſe the Treaſures
of Vertue; another ſaid he had won Thirty, and
gave the game for his own; but theſe years do con-
clude the Sct. In this manner they ſported with
the Ball, till at laſt it fell down and burſt, and then
every one trampled on it.Thus concluded the Game,
fome winning at their own coſt, whilſt others were
entertained with the view of this paſtime. There,
faid Audrenio , turning himſelf toward him, that
fought for him, ſeem to be the Heads of Men. And
ſo they are, ſaid he, and one of them is yours, Men
I mean who have loſt their Brains, and filled their
Sculls with Air, and Wind, with Dregs, and Cob-
webs, and fantaſtick Apparitions. The World
throws up her Balls of Vanity, which the elevated
and happy Souls, catch and hurl down again to
their contrary oppoſites Trouble and Calamity:
whilſt
*
The Spaniſh Critick
143
whilſt miſerable Man ſtanding in the
middle way, ſometimes depreſſed, Our Life e-
then exalted, and ſubject to the ſtrošks sein,
of both, till at laſt he tumbles burſt
into the mire, and filth of his Sepulcher. What
art thou, faid Andrenio, that ſecit Io much? And,
what art thou, replied he that feelt fo little ? Thus
in diſcourſe he began to inſinuate himſelf into his
favour, and firſt to gain the Fort of his Will, the
better to command and over-awe his Underſtanding ;
ſo that Andrenio diſcovered unto him his Breaſt
declaring his hopes, and thoſe great promiſes were
made of obtaining his pretenſions. But this cun-
ning Artiſt ſeeing his time and ſeaſon, informed
him, that the courſe he took was vain, and would
never gain him admittance to ſee this King, much
leſs introduce him to a private Audience; for to
ſee him is to be effected by your own Will, and the
ſole being of this Prince is to be unknown: the
way his Miniſters take to givea view, and proſpect
of him, is to blind you firſt : Conſider but awhile
how blind you are: What will you give me if this
night, I ſhew him to you? You do but jeſt, ſaid
Andrenio. No, for I am moſt uſually ſerious. All
I ſhall deſire is, that when I diſcover him, you ?
would view him well, obſerve, and eyebis humour
This, ſaid Andrenie, is to deſire me what I have ſo
earneſtly entreated. So having appointed the hour,
both punctually complied with their promiſe, one as
deſirous of this Novelty, and the other as Zealous
of the others deliverance. But whilft Andrenio be-
lieved he ſhould be firſt introduced into the favour
of fome intimate Miniſters, he on the contrary per-
ceived himſelf lead another way, and carried always
to a diſtance from the Court, which made him give
a
2
3
144
The Spaniſh Critick:
a ſtop; willing to return backward, ſuſpecting a
greater Fraud and Abuſe in this then in thole former
Snares to which his Errors had betrayed him.But this
diſcreet Officer ſtill detained him, Obſerve, ſaid he;
and view through this Glaſs, what is denied us at
a nearer Proſpect; for aſcending up this Hill,a little
raiſed from the ordinary level of the Earth, we ſhall
I know diſcover moſt hidden Secrets; with that he
perſwaded him to aſcend a little up, and place him-
ſelf juſt oppoſite to the Windows of Faliſmurid. I
think, faid Andrenio, I ſee more then I did before,
which much encouraged his Inſtructor, who knew
that to fee, and underſtand, was the only remedy,
and cure for his ſickneſs. Andrenio turned his
eyes,
and looked toward the Palace, to ſee if he could
eſpy any glimpſe or appearance of that hidden Ma-
jeſty ; but he perceived that it was all in vain, for the
Windows were ſhut, the Latices obſtructed, and the
Glaſs ſo thick as no ſight could penetrate it. This
is not the way, ſaid this grave Inſtructor, to behold,
and take a proſpect on the World ;. but turning his
back upon it, adviſed him to conſider all in a diffe-
rent nature, from what they appear, the inward and
moſt natural Affections having another force, then
the outward Viſions : with that he drew out his
Lookingglaſs and uncaſing it of its Silken-cover,put
it before his eyes, in that manner, that the re-
flections of the Palace, whoſe view deceived the
eyes of common beholders, gave here a perfect
deſcription of all its infirmities. Look now, ſaid
he contemplate on it, and glut your longing defire
with a full enjoyment. With which Andrerto
was ſo aſtoniſhed, and amazed, that every Joint
began to tremble.' What is the matter now, quóth
the old Men? What is it affrights, and diſmays
you?
The Spanish Critick. 145
you? I ſee, ſaid he, what I never deſired, nor ever
believed; I ſee a Monſter, the moſt horrible my life
hath ſeen, one that hath neither feet nor head, a
moſt diſproportionate piece of Nature, one part
not correſponding with the other, a prodigious
Shape of Monſtroſity; his hands cruel and bruitin,
a counterfeit compoſition of all kinds, and yet of
none in reality ; his mouth like a Wolf, where never
Truth hath had a habitation, and is fo prodigious in
all reſpects, that a Chimera is an Aſs in compariſon
hereof; take me, take me away, leſt I faint with
theſe affrighting Apparitions; but his prudent Com-
panion told him, and bid him obſerve well his
Mouth, which at the firſt glance repreſented the
lively features of a Man, but in reality was a Foxes
Snout, his Middle a Serpent, his body was ſo crook-
ed, and his Bowels ſo twiſted, that he ſeemed as if he
would vomit them up.His back was riſing like a Ca-
iels Bunch, his Noſtrils ſtuft with knobs, his upper
parts like the Syrens countenance, and his lower
Supporters of no nobler ſubſtance then the reſt of
his compoſure. Do you not ſee with what pain, and
trouble he walks forward, how he turns his neck,
how a Bunch on his Back, depreſſeth his ſteps, how
ill inclined he bends, his Hands lame, his Feet fplaed,
his ſight a-ſquint, his Speech ſtammering, and ſcarce
Intelligible. “In fine, all is bad, to conſummate the
full Catalogue of all imperfections. It is ſufficient,
faid Andrenio, that theſe deformities are ſo contrary
to my Nature, that I ſtart in beholding themi. And
it is ſufficient, ſaid his Inſtructor, that it is with you,
as it is with others, who having once ſeen theſe
things, they have enough, and never
deſire to ſee them more. But who is Deceit.
this crowned Monſter, demanded An-
L
drenio ?
146 The Spaniſh Critick.
2
.
drenio ? Who is this horrid Spectacle of a King ?
This is one, replied he, as famous, as unknown
this is one to whom the whole World yields obedi-
ence, the general diſcourſe and ſpeech of all, whom
all would rather viſit in their Neighbors houſe, than
entertain in their own. This is that grand Hun-
ter, who entraps the whole World in his univerſal
toil. This is that Lord who commands the half of
the firſt year, and afterwards poſſeſſes himſelf of
the other half. This is the powerful Commander
of weaker Heads, the Judge who condemns all thoſe
who make their appeal to his Sentence. This is
that univerſal Prince of all, not only of Men, but
of Birds, of Fiſh, of Brutes. In fine, this is that
famous, that renowned, and that common Deceit.
Let us not then ſtay longer here, ſaid Andrenio, for
methinks my affections are more eſtranged from him
at this diſtance, then when I was nearer to him.
Hold, ſaid his Tutor, this is not enough, but I would
have you know and view his wholé Kindred, and
Family, and ſo having laid aſide the Glaſs, on a
ſudden appeared a Fiend more mad, and furious
then Orlando, an old Hag more fraudulent and craf-
ty then the Wife of Sempronio; Who is this Me-
guera, demanded Andrenio ? This is the Prin-
ces Mother, ſaid the, who commands and
governs all, which is Lie, and Falſity, Old, and
Decrepid, and almoſt as antient as the World, be-
ing not long produced after its Creation. It ſeems,
faid Andrerio, then that ſhe is very antient. O! the
monſtrous deformity of this Creature ; when ſhe
diſcovers her ſelf, the halts ſo, that the ſlow-
err
pace of thoſe that follow, may overtake her,
What great attendance is that which accompanies
her. Theſe are, ſaid he, the whole World, her two
Dwarfs
The Spaniſh Critick. 147
Dwarfs are Yea ,and No, which waited on her in her
Promiſes, Offers, Excuſes, Complements,Favors, and
Flatteries. With that turning the Glaſs on the
other ſide, they perceived an honourable Train, if
Antiquity, and antient Bloud may more ennoble a
Family then Honeſty, for there was Ignorance the
Grand-mother, Malice the Spouſe, Folly the Siſter,
Calamities, Troubles, Diſcontents, Shame, Repen-
tance, Perdition, Confuſion, Contempt, and the reſt
of the Brood, and ſpurious Off-ſpring of ſo vile a
Parentage. Thoſe who ſtand Attendants at her
ſide, are the Brethren, and Kindred of her near-
eſt Bloud, and Cheats, Wheedles, and Intrigues,are
her Grand-children, born in this preſent Age. Art
thou now content Andrenio demanded his Inſtructor?
Content,No, but yet I am glad, I am thus undeceived:
Let us depart therefore from hence, for every minute
ſeems to me an age, and every thing produces to me
a double torment. Firſt by an importunate deſire
to enjoy it, and after enjoyment to hate and abhor
it. So they went forth by the Gate of Light, from
that Babel of Fraud. Howſoever Andrenio was not
yet fully ſatisfied, nor could he ſay that he was per-
fectly recovered, complaining, that though he had
found half of 'himſelf, yet the other half was loſt,
that is, his Friend, or rather Brother, or his own
felf, for ſuch is a Friend, whoſe real
ſincerity knows no Fallhood. If you Friends,
have loſt a Friend, ſaid his Inſtructor,
you have reaſon to lament your loſs : But tell me,
was he diſcreet? Yes. Why then, fear not to .
recover him. He told me, ſaid Andrenio, he went
to the Court of a wife Queen, called Artemia. If
he were wiſe, replied he, he muit needs reſide
there, and let this baniſh all farther care from your
L2
thoughts,
148
The Spaniſh Critick.
thoughts, for whether can he go, who hath drawn
you from the confines of Deceit, but by the path
of Wiſdom to the Court of that diſcerning Queen?
Who is this famous Woman, this Lady fo renowned
in all parts of the World, demanded Andrenio?
With Reaſon you ſtile her Queen,ſaid his Inſtructor;
for there is no power without diſcretion, and who
hath that, hath a ſufficient ability to command the
World. But thoſe who deduce her Pedigree from
the firſt original of her long defcended Anceſtors,
account her riſe from Heaven it ſelf, as being a ray
and glimpſe of that Glory which deſcends from the
immenſe Wiſdom of the eternal Creator. Some call
her Daughter of Time, and Obſervation, the Siſter
of Experience, though others maintain her to be
the only Child of Neceſſity, Baſtardiſing her Nobi-
lity with baſe Bloud, whom I know to be the Legi-
timate product of the Underſtanding. She is one
who lived in antient days, no Child, nor Infant in
age, but one who hath found the greateſt favour
in the Courts of the Mightieſt Monarchs,her Original
was in Alyria, from thence ſhe travelled into Egypt,
and Caldea, much reſpected; ſhe hath been in A-
thens, that great Theatre of Greece, in Corinth, and
Lacedemonia, and after ſhe was crowned in Rome, ,
where in a competition with Valour, ſhe had the Law-
rel judged, as due to her Deſerts. The Goths, a
barbarous and uncultivated People, were contem-
ners of her Sacred name, baniſhing not only her
but her devoted Worſhippers from the extent of
their Dominions, with which barbarous Moriſm,
not yet fully fatisfied, pretended to give a full Pe-
riod to her being, had ſhe not retired to the pro-
tection, and fanctuary of the famous Tetrarchy of
Charles the Great, where ſhe fat inſtalled in as much
Glory
The Spaniſh Critick.
149
Glory, and Luſtre, as ever ſhe had ſhined in the
moſt Potent Empires. But now at the fame of this
powerful and dilated Empire of Spain, which poſ-
Tėſſeth both the Worlds, ſhe hath changed her Seat
to this ample Centre of her Eſtimation. But why,
ſaid Andrenio, doth ſhe not rather chooſe the famous
Court, for her Habitation, to whoſe Altar the va-
rious Nations of her univerſal Dominions might re-
fort, and the polite Courtiers adore her in the near-
eſt Devotion; then to fix her Tent here amidſt the
coñverſe of ruſtick Clownery, to enjoy only the
Scrapes of the clouted Shooe, and the homely re-
ſpect of Country behaviour ? It is, replied his in-
ſtructor, becauſe ſhe would have experience of all,
having found of late, but bad entertainment in
Courts, cauſed by the counterrance which is there
given to Vice, which hath often times attempted
to throw her from her Seat ; nor is it
long ſince ſhe lived amongſt Courtiers, The Court.
where ſhe found to her own damage,
Perſecutions, Misfortunes, and Malice, much want
of Truth,and exceſs of Fraud, for there is moſt fol-
ly, where there is moſt preſumption; and I my ſelf
have heard her ſay, that if there be molt Courtſhip
there, here is moft Featīty, If there mort paſtimes,
here is moſt terfüre, there things paſs
away,
herë
we enjoy them, and this is to live
and that to die. Notwithſtanding, An Intalian
replied Andrenio, I would rather live Proverb, La
with Knaves, then Fools, for though
both be bad, yet Folly is an intollerable plague (I
mean) to Underſtanding Men,this I ſpeak with reve-
rence,
and ſubmiſſion to wiſe Artemia. Her Palace
began by this time to appear, and ſhine with ſuch a
Splendor, that it repreſented Heaven , engraven
wita
corte e morte.
L 3
150
The Spaniſh Critick.
with Inſcriptions, and crowned with Lawrels of her
Conqueſts, where being now arrived, they were both
received with many Wellcomes, but Andrexia elpe-
cially with Embraces; only ſecurity was required for
his conſtant perſeverance in that profeſſion, which
is fo fevere, that it indulges no permiſſions contra-
ly to that Ducy it impoſes. Here to honour her
two Gueſts, Artemia worked many famous Miracles
not only on others, but on them, themſelves, and
more on Andrenio, being one who moſt wanted her
Art: In a ſhort time he became a perſon well afm-
ed againſt other Encounters, that if one Lellon of
her Councel, is able to make our Life happy, what
then muſt the effect bė in him, of ſo many repeat-
cd Inſtructions, both of his Life and Fortune, where-
in fhe ſprinkled fome Leſſons of a ſuperiour and fpi-
ritual Knowledge. Many times the queſtioned An-
drenio of his Life, and made him repeat the Story
of his ſtrange Condition, when he firſt entered into the
World ; what effects the Novelty of this univerſa!
Theatre produced in him; but one thing ſhe told
Andrerio,that fhe was moſt deſirous to know, in what
manner he firſt beheld this admirable Creation, and
how he admired theſe ſtrange Prodigies, and who
was he, who gave the greateſt ſatisfaction to his
Reaſon. But what Andrenio anſwered is related
in the following Criſis.
the 22d Behbe 1886
es The
:
The Spaniſh Critick.
151
The Ninth CRISIS.
The Moral Anatomy of Min.
16
He antient Miniſters of Delpbos had engraved
TH
on the Temple Walls, in Letters of Gold,
and the wife Philoſophers had imprinted in larger
Characters in their Hearts, That recorded Sentence
of bius, Cagnolie teipfum, Know thy ſelf. For none
of all created Natures, errs in that way he ſhould
run, or miſſeth that mark the race of his life ſhould
tend to, but Man only whole diſtemper is chiefly cau-
ſed by that noble Faculty of Free-Will, nor can the
knowledge of other things avail, whilft Ignorance
dwells at home, and miſapprehends the operations
of it ſelf. So often doth he degenerate to the vile
Servitude of a stave as often as the renters himrelf a
Captive unto Vice There is no Robber pillages
ſo much, nor opprelles the unwary Traveller, as
the Ignorance of a Mans ſelf betrays him to be prey
ed on by others, which in many is ſuch a height of
Stupidity, that they are neither ſenſible, how inſen-
ſible they are, nor do they obſerve how little they
obſerve or conlider. Yet Andrenio ſeems worthy to
be exempted from this common Folly, when he
thus ſatisfied the curioſity of Artemis.
L 4
Of
:
152
The Spaniſh Critick.
Of all theſe wonders I ſaw, and varieties of ſatis,
faction I that day enjoyed, there was none which
more affected my thoughts,(I ſpeak it with ſome aſto-
niſhment, but yet with Truth ) then my ſelf which
the more I revolved, and conſidered in my Únder-
ſtanding, the more I found it a ſubject to admire.
This is that, ſaid Artemia, which I have longed to
hear you relate, and was a Theme, that the greateſt
Wit of our times hath ſo much ap-
The greatest plauded, calling Man, above all other
Prodigy. Created Wonders, the greateſt Prodi-
gy, and effect of Omnipotency. The
fame concluſion we may make from the general
Maxim of the principal Philoſopher, Propter quod
unumquodq; eft tale, illud eft magis Tale, That al-
ways is more, for whoſe fake another is ſuch. So
that if for the ſake of Man , Stones were created
with ſo much Vertue, Flowers with ſo much Beau-
ty, and the Stars twinkling with ſo illuſtrious a
Glory, in what ſphere of Beauty muſt Man ſhine
above all theſe, to whoſe uſe and ſervice they were
deſigned, and deſtinated , he is the Creature of
all ngoft Noble, the Monarch of this great Palace
of the world, inveſted in poſſeſſion of the Earth,
having a Commiſlion delivered to him as Governor,
and Deputy to rule for the beſt advantage both of
himſelf and his Maker. At firſt, proceeded Andre-
pio, I had only fome rude Notions and Conceptions
of my ſelf, till light of the day illuminated my
thoughts, and the Criſtals of a Fountain was the
only Glaſs wherein to contemplate and view the
delineation of my parts, whereby I perceived my
proportion different from what my imagination fan-
cied, which cauſed in me ſo much admiration and
delight, that I cannot expreſs, with how much con,
tenta
ma.
*
1
*The Spaniſh Critick.
153
tent, and pleaſure I was deceived. I reflected again
on my ſelf, and methought I was not yet fo fooliſh-
ly ignorant as I was contemplative. The firſt
thing lobſerved was this compoſition of my whole
Body, which is ſtraight, and direct, not inclining
to one ſide, nor to the other. Man, faid Artemia,
was created as a Servant of Heaven, and ſo he ought
to have his Mind and Body incline thither;for the ma-
terial rectitude of the body often ſimpathizeth and
correſpondeth with the Soul, that where accidents and
miſhaps have made a deformity in the Members,
the Mind hath often been miſhapen with them,
and both have become crooked and humourfome
in their Actions. It is true, faid Cri-
tilo, for in a crooked.compofition doth The Crooked.
ſeldom dwell a plain, and direct in-
tention, in the nooks and bendings of a Body, we
may fear ſome folds and doublings in the Sout.
The eyes which are dull and miſty, are accliltoined
to grow dim with Pallion, whom we do not com-
pallionate as we do Blind-men,
but rather fear
them, as thoſe who may kill with the
Squirits of an indirect glance ; the squint Eyes.
Lame often ſtumble in the Road of
Vertue, and their Will halting between their Affe-
ctions, makes theſe maimed Cripples, uncapable to
walk with equal ſteps; but Reaſon and Underſtand,
ing in better Judgments, hath prevented the Prog-
noſticks of ſuch liniſter infirmities,
The head, ſaid Andrenio, I know not whether I
ſpeak improperly, I call the Caſtle, and Fortreſs of
the Soul, the Court of her Powers and Faculties,
You have reaſon, ſaid Artemia ; for as God is am-
ſtant, and preſent in all parts, yet the Glory of his
Court, is moſt apparent in the Celeſtial Jeruſalens ;
fo
154
The Spaniſh Critick.
ſo the Soul manifeſts it ſelf moſt in her ſuperiour
Stations, which is a lively reſemblance of the hea-
venly Orbs. Who believes not this , let him look
into the Soul through the Windows of the Eyes,
hear its Voice through the Mouth, and ſpeak to it
through the Crevices of the Ears, the upper, and
moſt eminent place doth beſt become the Autho.
rity of the Head, that its Office may be beſt execu-
ted in its command and rule over other parts; and
here I have obſerved, ſaid Critilo, with much atten-
tion, that though the parts of this Republique are
ſo numerous, that to every day of the year may be
allotted a Bone, yet this variety is with ſo much
harmony, that there is no number that may not be
applied to it; for the Sences are five, the Humours
four, the Powers three, and the Eyes two, all
which come to reduce themſelves, and terminate in
one common Unity, and Centre of the Head, re-
ſembling the firſt and Divine Mover, in whom the
whole Series and Degrees of Creatures come to
end by an univerſal dependance. The Underſtand-
ing, ſaid Artemia, poſſeſſeth the moſt ſublime and
pureſt ſpirituality of the Soul, and hath no ſmall
intereſt in the Government of the material Faculties,
but as King, and Lord of the Actions of Life,foars
aloft, penetrates, fubtiliſeth, diſcourſes, underſtands,
and hath fixt its Throne in a candid and flexible
diſpoſition, the true Eſſence of the Soul, baniſhing
all obſcurity and darkneſs from Conceptions, all pre-
judice from Affections, and as a good natured Crea-
ture, encourages the gifts of docility, with mode-
ration, and prudence. The Memory looks on what
įs paſſed, and eyes that behind, as the Underſtand-
ing doth that before ; fo that what we paſs, we ſtill
ſee, and becauſe we caſt that commonly behind
1
which
The Spaniſh; Critiok. ISS
which moſt concerns us, every Wiſe man becomes a
Janus, and ſees as well behind as before. The hair
ſeems to me, faid Andrenio, a Gift beſtowed on
Man, more for his adornment, than neceſſity. They
are rootsreplied Artemia, of this humane Tree
which radicate him in Heaven, and by one hair hę
is drawn thither, there ought his cares to be, and
there he ought to receive his ſubſtantial nouriſh-
ntent. They are the Index and Almanack of our
Age, and change their colour, as we our affections
the forehead is the heaven and sky of the Mind
which is fometimes clouded, aŋon ſerene, and clear
the Seat of the Sences, where a ſhame of our
Crimes
diſcovers it felf, and is the place where Pallions
sport, and delight; Anger in the ſtretched Fore-
head, Sadneſs in the fallen Couritenance, Fear in the
Palë, Madefty in the Sanguine, Deceit in the
wrinkled Brow, Good nature in the Smooth Im
modeſty in the Bald, and a good Capacity in the
ſpatious Forehead But that whichi molt admired,
faid Andrenio, in this artificial Fabrick of Man
was his Eyes. Do you know ſaid Critilo
with what name that great Reſtorer of Health
ſtiles them, Galen that retainer of fiying Life
and ſearcher into Nature, he calls them Di-
vine parts, who in this ſpake well; for if we ob-
ſerve, they are inveſted with a kind of Divinity ;
which infuſeth Veneration : they work with a cer-
tain Unixerfality, that they reſemble
Omnipotency, producing the Images The Eyes have
and Species of external Objects in the The Eyes have
intimate and inward rooms of the vine.
ſomething Di.
Soul : they feem to be indued with
a kind of Infinity, being preſent and alliſtant in all
places, and commanding at one inſtant the whole
{pace, and circumference of the Hemiſphere. At
one
:
156
The Spaniſh Critick.
one thing, ſaid Andrenio, I have been much amuſed,
that though the Eyes ſee all, yet they ſee not them-
felves, nor thoſe Beams that uſually obſtruct them,
a Condition and Paradiſe of Fools, who are acute
Spies of diſorders in their Neighbors houſe, and
Bats of Blindneſs in their own:It were no ſmall conve-
niency if Man could retort his own Eycstpon himſelf
that he might ſtart at his own deformity, moderate
his pallions, and compole himfete again into the
beauty of that form, he hath deſtroyed with the foſs
of his originat Perfection. It were of much
advantage, ſaid Artemia, if the Cholerick could
come to ſee the lowring Frowns of his own Brow,
and his own fury affright himſelf; if the finical
and amorous Lover could come to the fight of his
effeminate Geſtures, and the reſt of vain Fools to
ſee their own Follies. But wary Nature hath omit-
ted theſe ſmall' advantages, to prevent more dange-
rous inconveniencies ; for could the Vain reflect and
retort his Eyes, he would be enamoured of himſelf,
court and adore his own ſhadow, which how de-
formed and monſtrous ſoever, yet his fond affecti-
on would ſtill limit, and confine, to the ſole prof-
pect of himſelf, it is ſufficient he can behold his own
hands before another, or view his Life, and attend
to his Actions, which may be as many, as perfect,
that he can ſee his own Feet, and know where to
direct them, that he knows where to fix his
footſteps, on a ſecure, and firm Foundation, this is
the chiefeſt uſe to employ our Eyes. It is true, re-
plied Andrenio, but yet two Eyes ſeem to me too
ſmall a Light for fo fpatiouš a Proſpect, and this
animate and lively Palace could not have been bet-
ter adorned then with ranks of this precious Furni.
ture, which ſince they are but two, their order
might have been better diſpoſed, one fixed before,
to
The Spaniſh Critick.
157
24-
to ſee that which comes, and the other behind, to
conſider what we have paſt. Some, ſaid Critilo,
have reproached Nature, and accuſed her of this
abſurd overſight, and faigning a Man more agree-
able to their ſenſe, fixed his Eyes both behind and
before, which ſerved only to make him a Man of a
double Countenance, and more double in his Acti-
ons, then in his Sight. Were I to correct the
faults of Nature, I would place theſe Lights of the
Soul on each ſide, and over the Port-hotes of his
Ears, which Thould fieither by day, nör night cloſe
their Lids to the ſoftneſs of Sleep, that lo they
might Tee with whom they alſociate and link their
ſides in a friendly familiarity, fo would not mafiy be
eaſily ſubject to the deadly Plurilie, a Difeafen as
Epidemical, as Mortal : lo might Man, fee with
whom he ſpeaks, know with whom he ſides, Rules
ing better to be deſerted and left to our own
heads, then to be ſubjected to the whiſpers of bad
advice; But know, that two eyes weit employed are
fufficient for our neceſſities, which looking forward,
ſpye the coming of bolder dangers, and with a re-
torted glance ſee the timorous aſſault of backward
Treaſons. One wink in an attentive beholder is
fufficient to make diſcovery in the moft hidden Se-
crēts "and therefore the eyes were made in the form
of Spheres, the moſt proper figure, and fitteſt for
fight, they being of a ſquare have no corners to
dim any part or vertue of their light; their ſituati-
on is proper alſo, both to look upwards, and be
fore them, for if beſides our proper Eyes others were
ſet in the hinder parts of the head, whilſt ſome looked
upwards towards Heaven, others might look to the
Earth and breed a ſchiſm, and diſſention in our Affe-
Etions:But another Wonder I have obſerved of them,
faid
148 The Spaniſh Critick.
47.0
faid Andrenio, that in a fooliſh tenderneſs, and good
Nature they diſolve in tears, for what remedy is
it to Weep, or can the ſhowres of our Eyes pre-
vent, and drown our misfortunes ? let us not ſigh,
but laugh at the World, and where our Policy can-
not avail us, let our contempt, and ſcorn deſpiſe
its Malice. Alas! (faid Artemia ) the Eyes are the
firſt Meſlengers of our bad news, who having the
firſt notice, are the firſt lamenters; who is not ſen-
fible of troubles, is dead in a Stoick
Proverbs. ſtupidity, and who heaps up Wif-
dom, heaps up Sorrow ; common
Laughter is moſt proper for the fooliſh Mouth
and that which offends moſt often, The Eyes are
the faithful doors to let in Verity, in diſpoſing of
which Nature was ſo ſcrupulous and cautious that ſhe
hath not only fixed them in the ſame order,but united
them in exerciſe of the ſame act, ſhe ſuffers not one
to ſee alone, but makes one a Witneſs for the other,
that they may conſent in the ſame operation; one
cannot ſee white, and the other black, but are ſuch
twins both in colour, and bigneſs, that one equi-
yocates the other, and their agreement diſſembles
an Unity. In fine,ſaid Critilo,the Eyes are in the Bo-
dy, as thoſe grand Luminaries are in Heaven, and the
Underſtanding in the Soul, they ſupply the defects
of other Senſes, but all are not able to make up the
infirmities and imperfections of them. They do
not only ſee, but hear, ſpcak, demand, anſwer, con-
tend, affright, embrace, attract, conſider, and per-
form the acts and offices of all, and what is moſt
conſiderable, their vigor never abates by ſeeing, as
neither do the indefatigable pains of State Mini-
ſters, who are the Eyes, and fight of the publick
Welfare. Methodically hath provident Nature
proceeded faid Andrenio, in reparting to every Sence;
their
The Spanish Critick.
159
their rank and order, as befits the Dignity and
Honour of their ſeveral Excellencies. Some it
hath diſpoſed in the moſt honourable Seats, and fix-
ed the ſublime operations of life in the publick
view, and eye of the World, and contrarily feated
the homely and mean Works of neceſſity in more
occult places, the better with Modeſty to conceal
their uncomelineſs. In this, laid Critilo, ſhe hath
reconciled Honeſty with Decency, and particularly
in that convenient diſpoſure of the Mothers Breaſts,
by which with much decency ſhe tenders nouriſh-
ment to the unweaned Infant. In the next place to the
Eyes, faid Andrenio, the Ears challenge their degree,
which are well diſpoſed in a rank ſo high, but
their being placed on each fide, ſeems, I muſt con-
feſs inconvenient to me, it being a means to lay
them open, and facilitate an entrance to introduce
Deceit: for as Truth always meets us face to face,
ſo Fraud, Traytor-like, crouds to one ſide, and
inſinuates entertainment in to unwary Ears. Would
not, the Ears, be better and more ſecurely
ſeated under the Eyes? by which means they might
firſt examinetreacherous Spies, and call them to a Par
ly, before they admit them into the Bowels of the
City? How well you underſtand it, faid Artemia,
were the Eyes in that place you ſpeak
of, that ſmall remainder of Truth The Hearing.
would be banilhed out of the World,
together with the reſt; let them rather be ſeparated
ten Fingers breadths from the Sight, or placed in
the hinder parts, for that's not Truth is flattered
to our Faces, but what proceeds from Sincerity,
and is without Paſſion, ſpoken behind our backs.
How well do you think Juſtice would proceed
ſhould ſhe fee that decency, which excuſes her, the
riches that defend her, the nobility which pleads
her
160
The Spaniſh Critick.
her cauſe, the authority which intercedes, and the
abilities of other Miniſters whoſe Rhetorick charms
her Adverſaries ? It is better, that ſhe is blind,and
moſt convenient for her own, and others advantage :
Our Ears ſtand well in this Mean, not before, leſt
they ſhould hear too ſoon, nor behind, left they
ſhould hear too late. Another thing, replied An.
drenio, hath buſied and troubled my thoughts to
reſolve, which is, that being the Eyes have the
conveniency of thoſe fringed Curtains, to bar out
the importunate entrance of unwelcome Spectacles,
and to cloſe themſelves againſt the view of diſplea-
ling Objects : Why ſhould not alſo the Ears have the
fame priviledge and ſhut a door againſt the ribaldry
of vain diſcourſe, Become Serpents, and deaf
tu charms, and co-excufe impertinent Follies, and
intercepe at the entrance relations of
bad news,and
forrow, the chief deſtroyer and
ruine of our Lives.
i Cafinot, I muſt confeſs, but condemn Natures Er-
ror in this, eſpecially when I ſee the Tongues raſh-
neſs curbed within the Wall of Reaſon, and as art
unruly Beaſt iinpriſoned within the Grates of Teeth,
and Doors of the Lips. Why then ſhould the
Eyes and Mouth have this advantage , above the
Hearing, which ſeems more necdful of it, as being
moſt ſubject to the danger of Errors ? Upon no
terms, faid Artemia, will Nature conſent to ſhut the
free and open paſſage of the Ears, which ſhould
always be ready to admit an entertainment to the
welcome acceſs and entrance of Inſtruction. So
that Wiſe nature is not only content to unhinge
thefe Doors, and unlock the Bars which interrupt
the pallage, but hach made them the only immove-
able parts of Man, as eſteeming the feaſt diverſion
from their proper office, but time milpent, and
leiſure prejudicial to Mans condition. Theſe watch,
and
$
The Spaniſh Critick.
161
2
and every hour give audience, that when the other
Sences weariedly retire to their repoſe, and reſt
theſe careful Centinels of the Soul, attend their
guards, and give alarum at the approach of dan-
ger; the Soul might leep in an eternal lethargy
were not this watchful Sence an early Waker at the
mornings approach. There is this difference be-
tween Sight, and Hearing, that the Eyes ſeek the
Species of diſtinct Objects, how and when they will,
but Sounds and voices move firſt, and are received
without choice into the Organs of the Ears. The
Objects of Sight are permanent, and durable, and
though at preſent we ſee them not, yet they vaniſh
not away, and may be viſible at a ſecond review;
but Sound flies like time, and who
meets not the Fore-lock in its ap- poft eft occafo
proaching ſteps, ſhall like bald OC calva.
caſion, too late ſeek detention in his
paſt progreſs; its proper, the Tongue ſhould have
a double
fence, and lined Walls to encloſe it, and
the Eảrs two paſſages of free entrariče; for we ought
in prudence to hear twice more then our Tongues
ſhould utter. I am not ignorant, that the half of
what our Ears are Auditors is impertinent, and
fruitleſs, for which wiſe Men have a ſingular re-
medy, and that is by making themſelves deaf, or
compoſing wiſe Mens Ears, which is a rare inven-
ţion and of great advantage; for there are ſome Ihrill
ſounds of unprofitable reaſoning without Reaſon,
that ſo thin a covering as an Eye-lid would not be
fufficient proof againſt its penetrating violence,
and then we have need to ſtop our Hearing with
both our hands, whoſe actions as they often expreſs
our Minds, and open the Ears of others, fo alſo
are they helpful to ſtop our own: Let the Serpent
teach us Subtlety in this, who ſtops one ear by lay.
ing
162
The Spaniſh Critick.
[
ing it cloſe to the other, and the other with his
Tait denying entrance to bewitching Charms. You
cannot deny, urged Andrenio, that were there a guard
or ſtoppageinthe ear,therefwould not be ſo free a pal-
fage for dangerous Enemies, for the hiflings of vene-
mvous Serpents for Songs of deceitful Syrens,for Aatte-
ring Schiſms, Diſcords, and Diflentions, and other
Monſters, who croud to get admiſſion at this entrance.
You have reaſon, ſaid Artemia and therefore hath Na-
ture formed the Ears like a Colender, or Strainer of
Words, making them almoſt rational and able to
judge of Verity, and if you obferve, ſhe hath be-
fore hand prevented this inconvenience, and form-
ed the organ of this Sence with ſo many turnes, and
twines of Labyrinth, that they ſeem the Portcullis
and Trenches of a Fortreſs, in which words are
ſo drained and examined, that there is time and
opportunity fufficient to bring them to the touch-
ſtone and teſt of Reaſon. There is alſo within a
Bell,which beaten on by the Hammer of Words gives
a certain found of their Truth, or Fallity: Haft
thou never obſerved the bitternefs of that Chole-
rick humoúr which purgeth forth at theſe parts;
and can you agree with the Vulgar Errors, that it on-
ly ſweats forth as Birdlime to dam up an entrance
from Flies, and blinder Animals? Know that Nature
had thoughts of higher preventions then theſe 6
and intentions by this to detain the gentle words of
Circes, and the ſmiling breath of the deceiving Flip-
ceter, whole Palates being diſpleaſed with this
wholeſome bitterneſs, which is tempered with
the unfavoury reliſh of diſcretion, are here ſtopped,
and retained and therefore, conſidered Critilo, that
Surfet which many take with a glut of fugréd words,
is only curable by this antidote of bitterneſs. In
fiac,
:
1
1
The Spaniſh Critick. 163
fine, there are two Ears, that ſo a wiſe man may keep
one unviolated, though the other be affected with
Falſity; for there is a firſt and a fecond informatie
on, that if One Ear De prepotented by a too forward
atid Fath reception, the other may be yet.conſerved
for Truth, which is commonly manifeſted by the
latter Relation. The ſmelt, faid Andrento, feems
to the a Sence more delightful then profitable, and
more requiſite to feaſt and in-
dulge our" Genius, then to ſerve our Acute Sent,
neceſſities, and therefore it ſhould not
advance its ſelf to the third degree, and diſplace
others of more importance. O yes! replied Artea
mia, for this is a Sence of greateſt acuteneſs, and is
the reaſon why the Noſtrils our whole life long are in
continual growth, and that through the ſame Organ
of our Noſtrils are breathed the reſpirations of life,
which makes our Smell as neceſſary as to live. This
diſtinguiſheth perfumed Odours from the displeaſing
ſtenches of Corruption, and comforts the Soul with
the chcarful-fragancy of good Fame, which is the
nouriſhment of it; a corrupted Air infufeth
a peftilentious noiſomneſs, and infection to the
Bowels, which a fagacious and acute Noſe diſcerns,
and knows the comfortable refreſhments of a ſweet
Satour, and the danger of poiſonous Sents, and
Camerines of Cuſtoms, which uſe to envenome, and
infect the Soul; it is the Guide of the Blind, and tells
him what Meat is tainted, and what is wholeſome,
and is our Taſter before we eat ; it is that Sence
Which only enjoys the fragrant reſpirations of
Flowers, and refreſheth the Brain with the odorife-
tous Smells of thofe Perfumes, which Vertues, Glo-
tys and Fame fend out from their natural ſweet-
tieſs. We may know the principal Worthies of our
M 2
time,
164
The Spaniſh Critick.
time, in whom the Bloud of truę Nobility reſides,
not by their Perfumed Skins, and Ambar Ointments,
but by their Parts and Excellency of their Abilities,
which caſt out a fragrancy of Odours from them,
unlike the clowniſh blaſts of Garlick, which the
Plebeian breaths. With much reaſon, faid Andrenio,
hath provident Nature endued each Faculty with a
double power, beſtowing ſeveral Offices on one, not
to multiply Agents: So that not only the Noſtrils
ſerve for their principal uſe, but in a more ſervile
condition, are the channel to convey away the
Brains ſuperfluities. This is true, ſaid Critilo, in
Children, but in Men of riper years, they rather
ſerve for a channel to convey the paſſions, and the
ſwelling ventofities of Vanity, which belch through
them, and that impoſtume of the Head, which
uſually cauſeth a Giddineſs, and Meagrum, vents and
diſcharges it ſelf by this way. Through theſe alſo
are eaſed the oppreſſions of the Heart, and ſteams
evaporate from the Stomach. The Noſe is a Fea-
ture that much adorns the proporti-
The Nole. on of the Face, and is the Pin of the
Souls Dial, which points at the tem-
perature of its Nature; 'a Lions Noſe denotes Va-
lour, an Eagles Beak Generoſity, a Long one Gen-
tleneſs, the Sharp Ingenuity, and the Thick Fol-
ly.
Having already treated of sight, Hearing, and
Smelling, the next, conſidered Andrenio, is Speech.
The Mouth ſeems to me the principal Gate, and
Door of the Soul, for as through the
The Mouth. paſſage of the Sences, Objects enter,
ſo this is reſerved only with reſpect,
for the Mind to go forth, and to manifeſt her ſelf
by
The Spaniſh Critick. 165
by the help of her expreſions. It is true, faid
Artemia, for in this artificial compoſure of Mans
countenance, the Mouth is the Gate of its Royal
Perſon, and the Teeth the Guards, all ſet and
compoſed in a decent rank, and order; in this re-
lides the beſt and worſt part of Man, which is his
Tongue, having its root radicated in the Heart.
There is one thing, faid Andrenio, I have beaten my
Brains to underſtand, What was the intent of wile
Nature in making our Speech and Eating to have
one and the fame inſtrument for both operations;
that our words, which are moſt peculiar and pro-
per to Man, ſhould dwell in the ſame office, where-
in is acted and framed the vile occupation, and ex-
erciſe of Brutes; were it only thoſe inconvenien-
ces that proceed from hence, it were enough to
perſwade us of Natures overſight; were it only
that change of the Tongues accent, which ſome-
times ſpeaks ſmooth, and gentle, and anon with bit-
terneſs, and choler breathes out rage , and va-
ries with the reliſh of material Food; this makes
the Tongue trip and ſtammer, cquivocate and talk
at large, that it were better this nobler Member
were fet apart, and conſecrated as a Temple of
the Souls Oracle. Hold, ſaid Critilo, the Argu-
ment you urge well, and a little more difficulty
would puzzle my Reaſon to reſolve; but howſoever,
1 appeal to the Providence of Heaven, which go,
verns, and direits the Function of Nature, and
therefore I may boldly affirm the conveniency wh ch
Speech enjoys, by joining Houſes, and Manfiors,
with their taſte, that ſo the reliſh may examine and
tell us the nature of our words before we pro-
nounce them, Inform us how Tweet or bitter they
are, chew and prove them, whether they be füba
ſtantial,
2
M 3
2
1166
The Spaniſh Critick.
ſtantial, and accordingly ſweeten thoſe which
may embitter, and dreis, and comfect then for
the Stomach of the receivers; beſides the 'Tongue
is employed in the taſte and eating; for Speech
well moderated, ought not to be ſo long, but that the
inſtrument of it may afford time for other Du-
ties.
Actions ought to follow,or accompany our words,
and our hands readily to execute that which our
mouth promiſeth. Is it,faid Andrenio,
that the Hands are called A. anus, from
Diligent
Hands. Maneo, denoting by an antiphraſis
their duty of continuál employment.
They are called fo, replied Critilo, not from their
continual employment, and unwearied motion, but
from that conſtant permanency they ought to re,
tain in their travels, or becauiètey are the Foun-
tain from whence ſpring our works of
* Manare, to Piety, and they like branches from
flow.
the Hearts roots, which are faden
with Fruit of famous, and immortal
Actions by their Palms are obtained victorious
Lawrels, and they are the Source from whence di.
ſtil the precious ſweat of heroick Labours, and the
Ink which memorizeth their Actions to all Pofteri-
ty. Doſt thou not conſider, and adınire their ar-
tificial, and commodious compoſure, which are as
Slaves and Servants to the other Members, and are
fitted to ſerve all our neçeſlities? they help us to
hear, allift our Tongue, and give a life, and vigour
to our Actions; they adminiſter Meat to our Mouths,
Flowers to our Smell; they are proſpectives to
ſtrengthen our fight in a large view, and help ſome
fo to diſcourſe and reaſon, as if their Genius and
Wit were more lodged in their Hands, then in
their
1
The Spaniſh Critick.
167
their brain. So that they are the officious Mini-
ſters to all our Neceſſities, they defend us, clean us,
cloath us, cure, and protect us, and fometimes rub,
and eaſe our itching : All which offices, faid Arte-
mia, becauſe they agree with Reaſon, Nature hath
ordained them in number, weight, and meaſure;
In the ten Fingers of the Hand conſiſts the begin-
ing and principals on which numbers are founded
So that all Nations count till they arrive to Ten,
afterwards proceed in Multiplication. Weight
it ſelf is judged by waving with the hand, and
gueſſing at its quantity. This punctuality is neceſ
ſary for information of Man who operates in num-
ber, weight, and meaſure; and to raiſe our thoughts
yet higher, the Tables of the Law were included
in Ten Precepts,that Men might not only carry them
in their Heart, but that ſo ſmall a bulk might be
likewiſe portable in the Hand. Theſe put in exe.
cution, the intent of the Soul, which are not im-
printed on thoſe common lines which divide the
Palmes, but ſignified and made manifeft by their
own Works. Theſe are they which form qur Let.
ters, and with ſilence ſpeak in Writings, the three
principal Fingers concurring with an admirable dex-
terity in the ſeveral Offices, the firſt fortifies the
Motion, the Thumb teaches, and the Middle as
correſponding with the Heart, rules and directs;
that our Writing may record the Teſtimonies of
Valour,Subtlety and Truth ; ſince then that the hands
put the Seal and Stamp on Vertue, it is no wonder
if other Members of the body ſhould in Courteſie,
and Eſtimation, ſeal them to their Lips, and give
them a Befolus Manos,in gratitude for their Works of
Vertue, And becauſe we now anatomatize Man;
and contemplate from head to foot his Myſte
rious
M 4
168
The Spaniſh Critick.
117
9
rious being ; it would not be from our pur-
poſe to caſt our Eyes on his Feet, and conſider his
ſteps and progreſs as he moves; the
The firmneſs-of Feet are the Pillars and Foundation
the Feet, on which the Body is eſtabliſhed, they
tread the Earth, and trample on it
in contempt; they make it ferviceable to the Bo-
dies burden and meaſure out the paces of their ſtage,
that they may tread on a plain, and ſecure founda-
tion. I obſerve, ſaid Andrenio, and admire too the
firmneſs with which Nature hath planted the Body,
for left it ſhould fall forward, it hath placed the
Feet before, nor ſtagger on either ſide, it hath un-
derpropt it with equal ſupports, but yet you cannot
deny, but ſhe hath negligentlyfoverſeen the dangerous
Precipice of a backward relapſe, where the hands
cannot with their uſual diligence apply themſelves
to their help, which inconveniency might be eaſily
remedied by enlarging the ſame proportion of the
Feet as much behind, as before. This is buta fond
conceit, replied Artemia, for this would give Men
occaſion to retreat backward from the path of
Vertue, whofe unconſtant humour being apt to re-
tire, would give a fuller turn, had they found in Na-
ture encouragements for this motion.
Such is the outward proportion of Man, and viſi-
ble Anatomy, whoſe harmony of powers, proporti-
on of Vertues, agreement of affections, and palli-
ons, is a more interiour inſpection, and muſt be
referred to: Philoſophical concluſions. Yet above
all, I would have you know, and admire that prin-
cipal part of Man, the Original of all the reſt
the Fountain and Spring of Life, which is the
Heart, The Heart, replied Andrenio , What is
that ?
>
The Spaniſh Critick
169
that? and where is it placed ? It is, anſwered
Artemia, the King of other Members, and therefore
is placed in the Centre of his Domi-
The Heart. nions, greatly and inwardly conſerved,
and is ſometimes in Latin called Cura,
Cor. or Care ; for that which rules and
governs is always placed in the Centre.
It hath alſo Offices, the one is to be the Fountain
of Life, infuſing ſtrength and courage, by its Spi-
rit, into other parts, and the other, which is the
principal, to be the
cauſe of Affection, and in which
are blown into a Flame the ſmalleſt sparks, and
warmth of Love ; and therefore, conſidered Criti-
lo, it is always ſcorched like the Phenix ; and its
place, proceeded Artemia, is fixed in the middle
denoting how much our Affections ought to be mo-
derated, and not to exceed the bounds of Rcafon.
Its form is with a point downwards, as if an Indi-
viſibility were enough to touch the Earth, but up-
wards is of a ſpacious breadth, enlarging it ſelf to
receive the bounty of Heaven, and greedy to fuck
thoſe dews, which can only content, and ſatisfie
the Soul; it hath the Syſtole, and the Diaſtole, Wings
not only to fan or cool its boyling heat, but allo
to raiſe it higher, and make it foar to the upper
Region; its colour is ruddy and fanguine, the Em-
blem of Charity, and from hence ſprings the beſt
Bloud, to ſhow that noble Perſons ſhould be qua-
lified with beſt Hearts. It was never ſo unworthy
as to becray, though ſo indiſcreet as to erre, by
being more careful to prevent misfortunes, then
cautious againſt the ſurprize of Felicity; but what
we ought moſt to eſteem, is its cleanneſs, not en-
gendring Excrements, like the crude digeſtion of
other parts, it having an obligation on it of Purity,
eſpecially
is
170
The spanilla Critick.
eſpecially in the formality of Life, which makes it
breathe and pant after the moſt ſublime perfection.
In this manner let us leave the wiſe Artemia in Philo-
ſophical diſcourſes, applauded by the Acclamations
of her Scholars, whilſt we conſider the inventions,
and policy of deceiving Faliſmand.
Who being vext, for the eſcape of Andrenio, and
ſome others, as blind as he, from the toyles of his
Labyrinth, both out ofſence of ſcandal to his Reputa-
tion, and alſo of that ill conſequence it might bring by
its example, made him treat of the fulleſt extremity,
and exceſs of revenge. To which purpoſe he dealt
firſt with Envy, the affaſlinate and deſtroyer of the
Good, a ſubject fit to be made Actor of the moſt
horrid Villanies, and to her he communicated the
ground of his diſtaſtes, and entruſted to her Art
the fowing of the Weeds of Malice, and planting
this Root of Anger amongſt the rabble and fcum of
Vice. This was not a Work very difficult to ſo
skilful an Artiſt, being aſſiſted alſo by that acquain-
tance and familiarity which Malice had obtained
amongſt the Vulgar, by a long habitation in their
homely Cottages, ever ſince which time, bad Inten-
tion, the Mother of the two Siſters, Flattery and
Malice, drew out their brood from the neſt of their
nothing, to advance them with as much Ambition
as the moſt aſpiring Vice: So Flattery fled to the
Court, not the direct way, but yet at laſt arrived
there, where ſhe was introduced with the welcome
entertainment of all, that in few hours ſhe became
intimate and privy to all Confults; but Malice had
not ſo good encouragement, or hopes to Prefer-
ment, being neither well ſpoken of nor courteouſly
looked on, an affront fufficient to burſt with Choler
her
The Spaniſ Critick.
her haughty Stomach, and her Speech and Liberty
being reſtrained, and uncivilly treated, ſhe took a
reſolution of voluntary Baniſhment, and changed
her ſtation to inhabit with the rural Clowns, where
ſhe was received with a dull kindneſs, and adored
with a devotion of fond fimplicity. There the
might triumph, becauſe ſpeak, diſcourſe at large,
and in rude appellations vent the rancour of Ma-
lice, which ſhe calls the plain dialect of evident
Truth; with this Policy ſhe inſinuated ſo much into
țlie eſteem of the people, that they reſolved to
reſerve her, from any that might raviſh her from
them;and therefore, have buried her within their own
Bowels, where thoſe are ſure to find her, who leaſt
deſire her. In this opportune conjuncture came Envy,
who began to low her Seeds, and to affect peo-
ple with a fence of anger againſt Artemia. She
called her another Circes, or one worſe, and that
ſhe would appear moſt deformed, were that cloak
of Pretenſions ſtript from her nakedneſs. That
ſhe had deſtroyed Nature, robbed her of her true
Solidity, and plain Simplicity, and by a fond af.
fectation, defaced her original Comelineſs; taxed
her of Ambitious Covetouſnefs, in depreſſing Na-
ture, and uſurping the Birthright of a Legitimate
Heir. Know that ſince the Government of this
feigned Queen hath been introduced in the World,
all is adulterated and corrupted; ſo that every
thing bears another Face, her whole proceedings
being effects of Fraud and Falſity: hence it is that
Men are not what they were wont, nor worthy to
be accounted the Race of former Ages; for Anti-
quity, as it is venerable, ſo it is beſt, and Men
with time grow worſe, having loſt the candid ſim-
plicity of Infants , are alſo ſtript of that Livery
and
172 The Spaniſh Critick.
and Badge of Innocency. Farewel that noble Off-
ſpring of antient Worthies, thoſe defenders of
Truth, and Solidity, whoſe Yea, was Yea , and
No, no: but now contrarily Men are become ma-
litious, and revengeful, all is Deceit, and Policy,
which they ſtile with the honourable Title of Ar-
tifice; ſo that he who is moſt dextrous in this,
hath the greateſt advantage in all exerciſes, he is
renowned both in Arms, and Science, and to this
pitch and heigth hath Sin proceeded, that Malice
is now more predominant in a Child of ſeven years,
then formerly in a Man of Seventy. women from
top to toe; are a continued tale and blot of Falſity,
as 1pruce and pert they are as Daws, full of Policy
and alluring Fraud; this feigned Queen fübverts
Republiques, deſtroys Families, exhauſts the moſt
immenſe Treaſures, gives encouragement to the
vanity of Modes, and Faſhions, and conſumes more
in the adorning of one Woman, then formerly was
required to cover and cloath a Nation, with the ho-
neſt and ſimple Garments of Neceſſity. In our
Diet The hath taught us to vitiate our Palates with
luxurious Diſhes, of which formerly our ſimplicity
was ignorant, and knew no more then to ſatisfie
Nature, and not by adulterated Meats to provoke
Appetite to be overcharged in Gluttony: The boaſts
that Men are not Men but by her poliſhment, who
only makes them vitious and diſolute, blinding their
Eyes with falſe Apparitions, giving no occaſion for
their Judgement to interpoſe it felf; as a Sun to
ſcatter theſe Clouds of Falſty. With theſe ſcan-
dalous reproaches, ſhe ſo incited the revenge of
her vile Multitude, that all with an unanimous con-
ſent conſpired to ruínate her Palace, exclaiming,
and crying, Let the Witch die. Aná ſcarce could
Mode-
The Spaniſh Critick.
173
Moderation prevail to keep off theſe Flames,which
threatned its Aſhes. With this the Wiſe Queen
perceived the Vulgar to be her enemies, and though
the preſence of daring Champions were then want-
ing, her own Policy ſupplied the defect. But the
manner of her Conqueſt, and the Stratagems by
which he triumphed, and was delivered from the
dangers of the baſe and rude Rabble,is delivered in
the following Criſis.
The
574
The Spaniſh Critick
The Tenth CRISIS.
The dangerous paſſage for Robberies:
T is the vulgar Error of prepoſterous Man to
make Ends of the Means, and Means of the
End; for that Country which ſhould only ſerve for
paffage to him, tre takes up for his Habitation and
makes that his Inn, which ſhould only be the way
of his Pilgrimage: Men often begin where they
fhould end, and 'end where they should begin.
wife and provident Nature introduced delights for
diverſion, whereby the operations of life might be
eaſed, and aleviated, and we enabled to run the
edi&us courſe of this world without fainitneſs, or
diſcouragement; but here it is, where Man doth
moſt confound, and diſhonour himſelf, becomes more
Brute than the Beaſts, degenerates from himſelf, in
making an epicurial pleaſure the ultimate term, and
his life fubfervient to a beſtial appetite : he eats
not now that he may live, but he lives that he may
eat herefts.not to recover new ſtrength for next
days labour, but labours not that he may be inſen-
ſibly ſurprized with drowſineſs; his Luſt provokes
him not to an intention of propagating his own
Species, but of indulging his Luxury; he ſtu-
dies
1
The Spaniſh Critick
175
dies not to know, but to forget, and be acquaint-
ed with himſelf; he makes not uſe of his Tongue
for neceſſity, but to pleaſe himſelf with the vanity
of his own talk, ſo that he makes not Recreations a
means to continué life, but his life a means to con-
tinue pleaſure; hence it is, that all Vices have inade
Delight their General; this is the Defender of the
Appetite, the Captain of the Paſſions, which vio-
lently drags Men to accompany Sin, and lays a force
on their yielding Affections ; let then the wife Rea.
der obſerve, and learn to reform this common ab-
furdity, and that he may be admoniſhed by the mis-
fortunes of another, let him obſerve thoſe accia
dents which happened to the diſcreet Critilo, and
unwary Andrenio.
How long, ſaid angry Artemia, (then moſt cond-
ftant, when moſt diſturbed) ſhall the neglect of
this incult Vulgar,deſpiſe, and contemn my Lectures?
How long thall inhumane Barbarity reproach and
ſcori my Wiſdom? How long will it be before
your own ignorant audacity ſhall confound it ſelf?
By Heaven I fwear, that lince: your
boldneſs hath proceeded to this upci. Tbe puniſhmento
vil Languagey as to ftileme with of Fools,
the name of Enchantreſs
Circes ; this very night in chaſtifernent of
your Folly, I will raife fo powerful a Conſpiracy
that the very Sun ſhall revengemy Quarrel who with-
drawing the comfort of his bright rayes, ſhall com-
mit you to the puniſhment of thick darkneſs, which
is the blindneſs of your own Vulgarity. Thus did
the treat them as their Folly deſerved, for knowing
that in baſe Spirits ſeverity prevails more then coura
telie, She ſtroak in them a terror of her power
and
9
176 The Spaniſh Critick.
and ſo amazed them with the perfwaſion that her
Fame was obtained only by Magick Enchantments;
that they grew cold and faint in their purpoſes
and changed the reſolution of affaulting her Palace.
• Their Courage began then to fail then, when they
ſaw the Sun really to withdraw his Light, and by
Points to eclipſe himſelf in their Hemiſphere, fear-
ing an Earthquake might follow, as uſually the Ele-
ments conſpire to perfect the deſtruction of a fal-
ling Adverſary; thus all diſcouraged fled, as is or-
dinary in all commotions of the people, whofe fud-
den Inſurrections raiſed with heat, and fury, as
foon vaniſh with a pánick terror, ſo they ſtumbled
in the dark, and not diſtinguiſhing their Foes,con-
verted their Swords one againſt another, and ſo
ended the War in a miſerable ſlaughter. By this
Victory Artemis found opportunity with the reſt of
her inſtructed Family to eſcape from the midſt of
theſe barbarous Incendiaries, and to deliver the
Treaſures of curious obfervation, and Jewels invelo-
ped in the eternal and memorable Writings of un-
periſhable Philoſophers, and other eſteemed leaves
from the rapacious hands of envious Ignorance.
And fo went they forth, aſſiſting with Inſtructions
our two Travellers Critild, and Andrenio, the latter
of which amazed at fo ftrange a Miracle, believed
her Magick extended ſo far as to influence the Stars,
and that the Sun it ſelf was obedient to her Charms,
which made him the more reverence and adore her,
and even to over act his part in the praiſes he gave
her. Buë Critilo undecaived him, telling him, that thiş
Eclipſe of the Sun was but an effect of the Celeſtial
motion, which Artemia föréſeeing by her Aftrono-
mical knowledge, took advantage of this occaſion,
çalling that the
power of her Art, which was only.
the effect and courſe of Natnre.
The Spaniſh Critick.
177
dant;
Artemia conſulted much with her learned Diſci-
ples, in what part of the World to fix her relia
dence, all agreeing in an unanimous reſolution no
more to enter into Country Villages, and therefore
propounded divers places for their ſecure and con-
venient habitation : many times ſhe propounded
Lisbon, not only for being the moſt
populous place of Spain, but one al- Lisbon,
fo of the three Empires of Europe ;
for if other cities have ſome appellations from their
chiefeſt excellencies, in this may be united, and
meet the Glories of all as in a common Centre, and
bear the name of faithful, rich, healthful, and aboun-
for never was a Portugues a Fool, whoſe firſt
Founder was the wilc Ubyles, nor was the fantaſti-
cal humour of the Nation lo much an obſtacle to
her entrance, as was the confuſion there, which is
contrary to the quietneſs which Speculation re-
quires. Again, the caſt her thoughts upon the
Royal Madrid, the Centre of Monar-
chy, where Perfections concur to the Madrid a Vil.
hieght and chiefeſt eminencies, but yet lage, and not a
:
The could not fix her choice on that
which her Stomach nauſeated, not ſo much loathing
the filthineſs of the Streets, as the mire of cor-
rupted Hearts; for beſides the prejudice ſhe boar to
it, for being a Village, ſhe was no tefs difpleated with
it, for being the Babylon of Nations of different In-
ereſts. Sevill was no ſooner nomina-
ted, but it diſpleaſed her, Cove. The Fleet for-
touſneſs and Lucre being enemies, merly came up
with whom ſhe admits no Treaty
and that indigeſted Stomach of her Plate was highly
diſpleaſing; her Inhabitants are neither black nor
white, but as the twilight of Nature Itand as Neu-
N
ters
.
AAC
to Sevill.
178 The Spaniſh Critick.
2
ters to Truth and Falſity; they ſpeak much, and per-
form but little, which is the common diſeaſe of
Andaluzia. Upon Granada ſhe made
Granadan her Crors and Cordova fhe called
Caluary. Salamanca reads the Pan-
Cordova,
dects of the Laws, and makes Men ra-
Salamanca.
ther Learned then Wiſe, teaching
Men to plead at the Bar, and in what
manner to form a Battery againſt Riches. She once
reſolved to pitch her Reſidence in the plentiful
Zaragoza, the Metropolis of Aragon,
Zaragoza.
the Mother of a famous Line of Kings,
the Supporter of the great Pillar and
the Baſis of Faith, famous for Convents, and Indow-
ments of the Church, beautiful in magnificent Edi-
fices, and populated with the Religious Inhabi-
tants of undeceiving Aragon ; but the haughtineſs of
their Spirits was a fault outweighing her other Per-
fections, and that kind of original Folly which mixed
with all her actions, were no leſs diſpleaſing and un-
grateful. The chearful, noble, and flouriſhing Valentia
abounding with all, that is not ſubſtance, was the
next propounded to her election, but here ſhe fear-
ed that with the ſame eaſineſs where-
Valentia.
with to day they received her, to
morrow they would eject her. Bar-
celona, though Rich, and when it ſhall ſo pleaſe
Heaven, the ladder to ſcale the Itali-
Barcelona. an Fortreſſes, the ſtop of Golds con-
tinual currant and motion, the fanctu.
ary of the Judịcious amidſt Barbarity, was not yet
eſteemed a ſecure retirement, being a place where
we muſt always walk with our Beard
Leon, and Bar-
turned over our Shoulders. Leon
gon
and Burgos were ſituations too near
the
11
f
The Spaniſh Critick.
179
the Mountains, having more in
them of Miſery then Poverty. Santiago Valladolid.
diſpleaſed her in nothing, but being
in Galitia. Valladolid ſeemed a place not inconve-
nient for her dweliing, and there ore di te mined to
journy thither, fuppoling 'Truth could no. but inha-
bit with plain ſimplicity ; but the prejudice ſhe con-
ceived againſt the Court, diverted her from hence,
(having been formerly the Court of Spain ) and ſtill
retaining too freſh a memory and la-
vour of her paſt condition. Of Pam- Pamplona.
plona was made little mention, being
a place like to Navarre , conſiſting of nothing but
Points and Punctilio's. In fine, by the Election of
this Catholick Queen, was preferred
the Imperical Toledo , confeſling ſhe Toledo.
was never ſo paſſionately affectionate
to any Seat as to this. For this is the Forge where
Men are faſhioned, this is the School of Rheto-
rick, all Court, and City, and more linte the ſpunge
of Madrid, hath ſucked out the dregs from thence :
Corruptions may chance to enter here, but not re-
main. In other parts many have their Wits in their
Hands, but here in their foreheads. And though
the cenſure of ſome is, that Toledo never produced
any of a profound and deep Judgment, howſoever
Artemia kept ſtill conſtant to her reſolution and
choice, extolling its Wiſdom and Learning, ſaying,
That one Woman there hath ſpoke more pith and
fubftarice in a Sentence, then a grave Philoſopher of
Athens, in whole Volumes of his Writings. Let us,
ſaid ſhe, haften thither to the Centre of Spain, not
for its ſituation, but for the real confluence and
concourſe of all Vertues. Thus travelled ſhe on
with her diſcreet Attendants, amongſt whom were
Critilo
N2
a.
180
The Spaniſh Critick.
!
Eritilo and Andrenio, who with no ſmall advantage
and improvement to their Judgments, kept them
company until they came to that way which leads
to Madrid, and there taking their leave with many
acknowledgments and expreſſions of gratitude, ac-
quainted her what importaiit occaſions called them
to the Court in ſearch of Feliſinda; ſhe therefore
giving them her Benediction,armed them againſt all
Allaults, with néceſſary Inſtructions, telling them
withal, that ſince they were reſolved to go thither,
they would be careful not to miſtake their way, becauſe
there are many Paths which lead thither. By this
micans, replied Andrenio, we cannot Err, ſince all
Faths direct the ſame courfe. This is the great
danger, ſaid Artemia, for amongſt ſo many Roads is
the moſt difficult choice of a ſecure paſſage ; for
many have been loſt in the Royal High-way. Go
not therefore by the way of curioſity in ſeeing, for
that is the Road
of Fools,nor yet by that of preten-
tion, for that way is long, and tedions, and few
there are which obtain the end : nor by the way of
or Contentions in Law, for it is always
chargeable and the journy long: the way of Ambi.
tion is unknown, and thole who fol-
Entrances to
low it are difrefpected, and that of
the Court. Intereſt is an unbeaten Path, trod by
none but ignorant Forraigners., that
of Neceſſity is dangerous, being environed by mul-
titudes of Hawks and Birds of Prey ; that of De-
fight and Senſuality is ſo foul and dirty,
that from
oor Knees we ſtep up to the Ears, and thus bemi-
red we are plunged and ſtopt in our progreſs, the
way of living is bat Thort, and you ſhall ſoon ar-
rive at the end
3
that of Servitude iş Death, that
of Eating harh "no end, and that of Vertue As-un-
known :
sures,
1
The Spaniſh Critick.
181
Ida
known, and in this ambiguity you have no way
but to abide there as little as you can; for believe
me, in Madrid a Man can neither live well, nor die
well. Obſerve above all, where you enter, for
many come in by Santa Barbara, and ſome by the
Street of Toledo : fome of refined Spirits paſs the
Bridge, and others come in by the Puerta del Sol,
and ſtop in Anton Martin, ſome come in by Lari
Pies, but more by Unta minos, but the moſt ordina-
ry paſſage is not by the Gates, which are few, and
chofe ſhut. With this parted the wile Artemia to
the Throne of her Eſtimation, and our two Tra-
vellers to the Labyrinth of the Court,
And ſo travelled they together, eaſing their jour-
ny with diſcourſes they made of the admirable Ex-
cellencies of Artemia, whoſe ſtrange Miracles and
Prodigies made them glory in her Power, and in
the happineſs and advantage they had obtained by
her profitable Society. To theſe thoughts they
were ſo intent, that unſenſibly they fell into one of
the moſt dangerous Snares,and Adventures of Life;
for on a ſudden they ſaw a numerous multitude both
of Men and Women, bound and mannacled, whilſt
Thieves robbed and ranſacked their Coffers. We
are undone , ſaid Critilo, for we have now run our
ſelves unawares into the hands of
Robbers, who uſually ſwarm in this The Univerſil
Road : here they are now pillaging Robbery.
and were they ſatisfied with the Spoils
alone, it were well, but are fo cruel, that they Rob
and Murder, and afterwards deface the countenance
of the Slain with Wounds and Scars, that they are
not to be known who they are. Andrenio. was fo
terrified at this, that fear had already deprived
him of his courage and colour, but recovering
himſela
N 3
uit...W...........
3. .....
182 The Spaniſh Critick.
himſelf a little; What ſhall we do, ſaid he? Shal!
we ily, or hide our felves from their fight? You
Phrygian,or inconſiderate like, replied Critilo, pro-
pound lae Remedies, their Eyes have already dif-
covered us, and their voice commands us under
their power; where ore we muſt now go forward,
and be contented to ſubmit our hands and necks to
their Chains, they looked on one ſide and the other,
and ſaw a multitnde of paſſengers of all conditions,
Nobility. Commons, Rich, and Poor, nor was their
kindneſs more indulgent to the Women; for they
were all bound and corded to the Trees of them-
felves. At the ſight of this horrid Spe{tacle Cri-
tilo and Andrenio lighed, and paſſed through the
Spoils to ſee who thoſe cruel Aſaſinates were, but
could not come to have a full fight of any; they
beheld one and another, all ſeemed to be involved
in the ſame misfortune, and yet none knew who had
enſnared them ; at length, eſpying an ill looked
Fellow, they all concluded that he was one. This,
faid Andrenin, muſt be he, with that unlucky look,
and ſuch alſo muſt be his soul. You may gueſs what
you will, replied Critilo,of his equivocating eye;
and
yet methinks I am more afraid of that ſquinting
Fellow, for may we believe Artemis, they never ſhoot
with the aim of Reaſon; take care of a pouting
Lip for thoſe are always of a {urly and morole
humour ; that other with a flat Noſe promiſeth
Cruelty and danger in his diſpoſition; he with a
tawny Face, looks like a Maſter of Bridewel, and he
with a ſizarling Look puts me in mind of the Hang-
man at Tyburne ; and that other bluſtering Boy, and
angry Brow, feems always to threaten a Storm and
Tempeſt, then they heard another ſpeak with low
whiſpers ; This, ſaid they, muſt needs be a perſon,
who
2
The Spaniſh Critick. 183
who admoniſhes us of what we ſhould beware, but he
was one, who fucked up his words with a Hum and
a Hau, and as he drew in his Breath, he ſwallowed
down Men. They_heard another ſnuſe through
the
Nofeand him they avoided, for that accue
through the Noſe declared him a true Champion
of Bacchus, and Venus ; they met with another
worle, who ſpoke ſo hoarſe, that he could only bc
underſtood tlirough a Trunk. In this manner they
examined all, nor yet among theſe Captives did
they eſpy any one who had committed the Spoil.
What means this, ſaid they, what are become of
thoſe pillaging Rogues who have riflcd theſe Pala
ſengers ? Since none are here of thoſe who can
Steal by the firipping of the Siffers, or that can
lcáve us naked, whilſt they cloath us, or unfeather
our Neſts, whilſt they enwrap us in the quilts, who
can miſtake their yard, when they
meaſure, and bear down their Scales The Common
without weight, who is it rulcs here, Robbery: -
who borrows, who recovers, who
executes, doth none detect the faults of the Mor-
chandize, doth none intice the Cuſtomers, arcthere
no Miniſters, nor Scriveners, no k'cepers of Lopks?
Why who thch Robs? Where are theſe T.yrants of
fo much Liberty? Scarce had Critilo ſaid thus, but
ſomething between a Woman and an Angel, anſiyer-
ed him, Hold, I go: and having newly bound two
confident Preſumers, she was as I say,a beautiful Wo-
mat, not rude, and unfaſhioned, but of a courtly
behaviour, affable, and courteous; he ſhowed a far
face, and outlight to all, but evil actions. Her
Forehead was more ſmooth, then ſerene; The look-
ed on none with an ill eye, and yet all werd en-
chanted with her bewitching emillions ; 1.e: Noftrits
ܪ
N4
werc
184 The Spaniſh Critick.
were white, which was a ſign that ſhe was not ill
affected with Fumes, and Vapors; her Cheeks were
Roſes without Thorns, her Teeth when ſhe ſmiled
and laughed at the World Thewed like ſo many rows
of Pearl, or Ivory. The Knots ſhe tied with ſuch
air, and negligence, that her dexterity and art ap-
peared pleaſant, and her very fight was enough to
captivate ; her Tongue doubtleſs was of Sugar, for
her words diſtilled Nečiar, and her two Hands made
ſigns of affection, for never did ſhe extend a real
i hand in friendſhip, though ordinarily her Arms
niąde indiſſoluble twinings, with counterfeited em-
braces, the more eaſily to entrap and entangle in
her ſnares; ſo that none could probably ſuſpect an
Aſpect ſo promiſing to be guilty of Theft or Rob-
bery: Nor was ſhe alone, but aſſiſted by a flying
Squadron of Amazons, beautiful and active, which
continually bound one, or other, executing the Com-
mands of their ſupreme Lady. But it
AU Fods, is well worth our obſervation, that
the Captives they mannacled, had the
election of their own Bonds, and many ſo willingly
ſubmicted to the Servitude, that they brought their
Chairs with them; ſome were fettered with Chains
of Gold, others with Lockets of Diamonds, an
invincible tackling for fich feeble Captives; many
they bound with Garlands of Flowers, and others
as their humour pleaſed them, with Roſes, for only
to encircle their Brows was an Enchantment fuffici,
ent to enfeeble their hands, another they ſaw tied
with one Lock of a fair and golden Hair, which
though at firſt he thought to rend with the ſmalleſt
force , yet at laſt it, proved more ſtrong then 4
Cable, which held him Anchored, whilft he tumbled
in the Storms and Tempefts of Love. Women or-
dinarily
.
The Spaniſh Critick 185
dinarily were bound with Threads of Pearl, with
Bracelets of Coral, and embroidered Ribons, which
ſeemed ſomething, and their value nothing. The
Couragious, and Valientons of the World, after
ſome few bravadoes and bluſtering words, conten-
tedly ſubmitted with the reſt to the loſs of Liber-
ty : and what is very admirable they enticed many
of their Comrades with Feathers, and Plumes, and
theſe were in a Priſon the moſt ſecure of any;
perſons of greater quality, they pretended to man-
nacle with ſmall twiſts, from whence hanged Shellsz
Keyes, and Links, which bound them ſo faſt, that
their whole ſtrength could not break them; there
were Bolts of Gold for ſome, of Iron for others, all
being equally content, and as ſafely ſecured; but
what I admired moſt. was that..in wanting. Chains
to impriſon their numeroys Captives, they com-
mitted fome to the Bonds of Wainens embraces,
which though, but feeble, were yet the Chains of
the moſt robuſtous Champions, Hercules was en-
ſnared in a tender Thread, and Samplon with ſome
hairs, they cut from his own head. One they would
have bound with a Chain of Gold, which he him,
ſelf brought with him; but the extre-
mity of his Covetoufneſs would not
Covetom.
endure the coſt, but deſired rather the
cheaper courteſie of the Rope ; another companion
of his, they pinioned with the Strings of his own
Purſe,one they bound with his own Storks Neck and
another with his Eſtridges Stomach till they could ſe-
cure others with links of favoury Sallats, who were ſo
much pleaſed with their Fetters, that the very licking
of their Fingers was a pleaſure to them ; ſome grew
franțick with joy to ſee themſelves féttered with
Lawrel and Ivy Wreaths; which is not ſo much as
that
186
The Spaniſh Critick.
that others ſhould turn fools at the melody of their
own Muſick. In this manner theſe wanton Róbbers at
failed the innocent and unwary Travellers, enſnaring
the Feet of fome, fettering the Necks, and Hands,
of others, binding their Eyes, carried them away
as Spoils, robbing and depriving them of their
Hearts. But what made a Tragedy of theſe comick
Scenes, was one who wounded the hands of thoſe
The bound, devouring, and gnawing
Envious. their Bowels, making their torments
the delight of others, and Hell and
the Wrack, a Paradiſe and Glory of their Ene-
mies. Another there was ſo prittily furious
that ſhe ſtrained the Cord until the Bloud ſtarted
forth; at which they were fo much pleaſed, that
they drank it in full Bowls to ſeveral Healths, and
what is moſt pleaſant, after they had bound ſo ma-
ny, they would perfwade there 'ally perſons that
they had touched none. But they coming now to
execute the fame on Critilo and Andrenio, and ask
ing them with what Fetters they would chooſe to be
mannacled; Andrenig as young and inconſiderate,
fuddenly reſolved them, and told then with Flow
ers, believing that this would rather be a Garlaud,
then a Fetter, or Binding; bụt Critilo fecipg there
was no way to relift; dcfired they would tre Andre?
nio to him with the Strings of fortie antient, and
Oraculous Volumes, which though it ſeemed a new
fort of Binding, yet in fine they were contented
and fo fatisfied his defires.
And now this courteous and wanton Tyrant com-
manded they ſhould beat a March, with which the
carried her Spoils in triumph, and yet with ſo much
gentleneſs, that though they were dragged with
Chains, yet being rivetted to the Socket of theti
Hearts,
The Spaniſo Critick.
187
Hearts, they fo voluntarily followed,
and ſubmitted to their contented Ser. The lens of the
vitude; that there was no need to World.
enforce obedience on ſuch willing
Slaves; for ſome poſted on the Wings of Wind
others ſided along with a good Air, the moſt
ſtumbled as they went, and all were involved in inex-
tricables toils. They ſoon arrived at the Gates of
a place, which neither was a Palace, nor yet a Cot-
tage, but thoſe that underſtood it beſt, called it an
Inn; their entertainment was not on free quarter,
nor the Ho ſe lent them longer then for a nights
repoſe. The building was Stone, and of fo
attractive a Vertue that it drew the Hands
the Feet, the Eyes, the Tongue, the Heart, as if
theſe Members had been Iron, and thoſe Walls the
Loadſtones of pleaſure,cemented ſo cloſe and ſtrong,
as if Pearls had been a principal ingredient in that
Morter. This pleaſant Inn without doubt was the
Centre of Delight, the Paradiſe of Content, and
a Maſs of thoſe delitious Enjoyments which Senſua-
lity could invent. The golden Palace of Nero, in
which he turned Steel into Gold, was but a Cottage
in reſpect of this, the reſplendence of Eliogabalus
his Houſe, was obſcured and benighted by the glo-
ry and brightneſs of theſe Beams, and the very
Caſtle of Sardanapalus, was in compariſon hereof a
Stye or Dunghil of its own Beaſtlineſs; Over the
Gate was engraved this Motto, The Delightful ,
Geod is profitable, and Honest. Critilo raminating
on the Inſcription; This, faid he, is to be read
backwards. How backwards, replied Andrenios
I read it forward. But if you read it backward,
it goes thus, The Honeſt Good, is Profitable and De-
Lig ul. But I fhall not diſpute of this, only give
me
188
The Spaniſh Critick.
ine leave to ſay it is one of the moſt delightful
places thy eyes have ſeen. What an excellent Fancy
had that Builder who contrived it! In the Front
there of were ſeven Pillars and though the odd num-
ber might ſeem to carry ſome diſproportion in it, yet
it was in emulation of that which Wif-
dom had erected. Theſe gave an en-
Prov. Tbe
Houſe Wiſdom
trance to ſeven other lodges or habita-
built upon Se tions of Princes, whoſe Agent this Prit-
ven Pillars.
ty Robber was; ſo that all thoſe which
ſhe captivated, The lodged and quar-
tered ſo much to their contentment, that every one
had the election of his own Priſon. Many enter-
ed by the Chambers of Gold, called
The Chambers ſo, becauſe they were covered with
of Vice.
Golden Shingles, and Beams of Plate ;
the Walls were of pretious Stones;
it coſt much to get up thither, and when they were
above, all the pleaſure was with Stones. The high-
eſt and moſt lofty Rooms were the moſt dangerous,
yet notwithſtanding the graveſt Heads were the
moſt forward to mount thither. The loweſt quar-
ter was the moſt convenient and delightful; for the
Walls being of Sugar, were eaten into, or moul-
dred away, the Morter was tempered with exqui-
ſite Wines, and the Clay kneaded into Bisket; ma-
ny crouded to get in here, who affected to be eſteem
ed Men of the higheſt Guſto and Palate, and had
reduced eating to a Science. On the contrary there
was another Room furniſhed with red, and paved
with Daggers; the Walls were of Steel, the Doors
beſet with Fire-Arms, the Windows were Portholes
for Cannon, and from the Ceeling, inſtead of Mo-
faick Work, hung down dangerous Knobs, threat-
ning the death of the careleſs Lodgers and yet there
wanted
?
The Spaniſh Critick.
189
wanted not Gueſts, though they paid the Hire with
their own Bloud. Another Chamber there was
painted blew, whoſe excellency conſiſted in dimi-
niſhing or ſhadowing the comelineſs and beauty of
others. The Furniture hereof was of Dogs and
Griffins, and gaping Mouths of Wild Beaſts, and
the Materials were Teeth, not of an Elephant, but
of a Viper, and though it boar a fair outſide, yet
they ſay the inward parts of the Walls were periſh-
ed by ſome internal corroding quality, but the
Room moſt uſeful of all, was on a plain Floar
which though it had no Stairs to go up it, was yet
full of Seats and Benches, and well furniſhed with
Chairs and Cuſhions. It ſeemed a houſe of China,
without upper Chambers, its Materials were Tor-
toiſe Shells, where all the world took up their Ha-
bitations; thoſe that entered here went ſo flow, that
the place being long, they could never arrive to the
end, but the green Lodging was the beſt of all, be-
ing the Apartment of the Spring, where Beauty
reigned ; it was called the Knot of Flowers, for all
was flouriſhing within it, till time and age come to
crop the Bloflom; many Lillies were there turned into
Violets; all who entered in, crowned themſelves with
Roſes, which foon faded and turned into Thorns,
and the Flowers became dry and withered as the
Graſs, and yet this was generally the moſt delight-
ful place, which afforded the moſt general diverſion
for all Humours.
Amongſt the reſt they forced Critilo and Andre-
nio to enter into one of thoſe Lodgings which their
own fancy ſhould like beſt. Andrenio being rafh
and in the flower of his age, thruſt himſelf amongſt
the Beds of Roſes, bidding Critilo go in where he
pleaſed, for at the end they ſhould all meet in
thes
non
I
the entity 1 ) Itke spanija crnike
1190
The spáni/Critick.
the Centre. Critilo being much urged to chooſe his
entrance, replied, That he never followed the cur-
rant of the Multitude, but went always contrary,
not that I think by this I ſay, to excuſe my entrance,
but I deſire it may be at the door where none elſe
have paſſed. How is that poſſible, replied they,
ſince there is no door here which ſtands not conti-
nually open to the throngs of Gueſts, fome laugh-
ed at his ſingularity, and wondered to ſee à Man
ſo differently diſpoſed, and his Humour formed of a
diſagreeing mould and nature to the vulgarity of the
World. I muſt confefs, ſaid he, it is only this,
which makes me refractory to the general humour,
for my entrance is where others go out, and my
eyes fix themlelves father on the end and concluli-
on, then on the principles of beginnings. And
with that turning himfell about; the houſe appear-
ed To changed and metamorphos'd from the appea-
ránce it had at the forft view, that he could not ſay
it was the ſame ; for all thát maſs and pite of ſtately
Buffdings, Teemed an unfaſhioned and rude heap,
the beauty of thoſe gilded Beams appeared only the
gliſtering of rotten Wood, the pleaſure, and deli-
tious light turned to horror, arrd the whole Fabrick
ſtood continually tottering, and threatning its own
ruines. The Stones had not now only loſt their
Magmetick Vertue, but followed behind their backs,
inviting the very Pebbles of the Earth to riſe againſt
them. The delicious Gardens were become over-
grown Fields of Thorms and Thiſtles, and as Critilo
obſerved with much admiration, that thoſe who
ſmiling entered in; returned again with tears in their
eyes, lighing out their fantentations and complaints of
their Misfortones. Some they ftung out of the Win-
dows of that Chamber which looked into the Gar-
den
&
I
The Spaniſh Critick. 191
one,
den, amidſt Hedges of Thorns, which pierced
their Bodies with an infinity of Wounds, and thus
pained in this HeH of Torments, breached out their
cries to Heaven for aſliſtance. Thoſe who had
aſcended up the higheſt, had the ſoareſt fall, one
of whom fell from a lofty Pinnacle or Turret of
the Palace, with as much contentment to others, as
of mifery to himſelf; for all ſtood gazing on him
as he tumbled, being delighted to ſee him fall, and
he having his Wings clipped, could foar no longer,
but fell with irreparable ruine ; thoſe that beheld
him, crying out, that he deſerved ſo much, and
worfe, for Evil ought to be his Portion, who never
did Good. But he which moved pity in ſome, was
on whom the Moon had more influence then
the Stars: This was an unfortunate Perſon, who in
his fall lighted on a Dagger which paſt his Throat,
and thereby wrote in Characters of his own Bloud,
The firſt Attempt, without a Second. Critilo obſer-
ved, that through thoſe Windows which formerly
appeared of Gold, but now of Dirt, were flung
out fome naked, others ſo bruiſed, as if their ſhoul-
ders had been beaten with Bags of golden Sand.
Others fell down through the Windows of the
Kitchin, and of theſe their Bellies ſuffered moſt in
their fall, which turned their Stomachs; one there
was, and but one, that went out at the Door
whom Critilo obſerving, went to ſalute him, and
coming nearer to him, the Stranger made a ſtop, as
if he knew him. Heavens guide me, ſaid he, where
have I ſeen this man? I have certainly ſeen him,
though I cannot remember where ; Is not thiş Cria
tilo, demanded he? Yes, and who are you? Da
you not remember when we were both Companions
in the Houſe of the wife Artemia? O! now it comes
into
192 The Spaniſh Critick.
into my mind, ſaid Critilo, Are_not you he of the
Omnia mes mecum porto. The ſame, ſaid he, and
that hath been the only Spell to deliver me from
thefe Enchantments. But what means did you uſe
tớ make this eſcape? The way, replied he, is ſhort
and eaſie, and with the ſame facility do you but
only deſire it, and I ſhall unbind you;
ſee but thoſe
blind and dumb Ignorants, whoſe aſlent of their
Will is the only Bond that ties them for in deſi-
ring and withing only to be freedy they immediate-
lyobtain therr Liberty. With that Critila only.de-
fired his freedom, and his Chains drop off. But
tell the Critilo, how it came to paſs that thou didle
not enter into this common Priſon and Captivity of
the World... Becauſe, replied he, I followed Ar-
temia's council in not lettiug foot or Itep on
the beginning, tiff my hand could reach and take
hold of the conclution. happy man! but this
is too mean a praiſe for thee for tholl art not a
Man, but an Intellectual Spicit. What is become
of your Companion, who was younger than your
felf, and leſs wary? I was about to enquire the
fame of you, ſaid he, if you had ſeen him within,
for he having without any reaſon precipitated him-
ſelf in there, will, I fear, run the common misfor-
tune, and at laſt be caſt out among the vile Re-
fues of this deceived Generation. Through what
Gate did he enter? Through that of pleaſure.
This is the worſt of all, ſaid he, for his Exit will
be the later for it, and perhaps not until Vice' and
Time weaken his Body, and ſtrengthen his Judg-
ment. But is there no means left for his remedy,
demanded Critilo ? There is only one, and that ſome
thing difficult. . What is it? Only to will; for let
him follow my courſe, and not ſtay till neceſſity
drive
1
The Spaniſha Critick.
193
drive him forth; for it is better to take his op-
portunity and advantage to go forth on his own
legs, and rather willingly paſs out at the door,
then to be compelled and thrown headlong from
the Windows. I have one requeſt to you, ſaid Crie
file, which miy modeſty denies me leave to demand,
and favours more of Folly then favour. What is
it ? that ſince you have gained the clue of this
winding Labyrinth, you would return in again
and with that Rhetorick you are uſed to undeceive
others, to perſwade, and inſtruct him, how to with
and deſire his own freedom. This will be but to
ſmall purpoſe, faid he, for though I find and ſpeak
to him, yet his hutnour will ſcarce give way to the
Counſels of an unknown Adviſer; for oftentimes
the examples and entreaties of acquainted Friends
prevail more with Affection, then arguments and
perſwaſions cant with Reaſon. It were better you
went in your felf, for your friendſhip moſt needs
be more prevalent then my word. I ſhould wila
lingly go in, faid Critilo, but I fear that not know-
ing the way, I may wander, and loofe ,
and in this manner we may both be deſtroyed.
Let us reſolve on this to go both together, for a
double diligence is very requiſite in lo important
an attempt; fo you ſhall be his Guide, and I
his friend. The propoſition was ſo well accep-
ted, that they ſuddenly went about to exe-
cute it ; but the Guard gave them a ſtop at the
entrance, upon fufpition that Men of ſuch grave
looks, and countenances were not come to be diſ
çiples, but enemies to their Kingdom : But yet,
pointing to Critila, for him, faid
they, I have or-
dor
my ſelf
194
The spanilla Critick.
der to admit. This made them both to retire
back, and have ręcourſe to a ſecond confult. And
now conſidering well of the entrances and goings
out, the many twinings and turnings of the Laby-
finth which was all Palace, and being abſolutely
reſolved to enter, they made a full ſtop in the
middle way. Hold, ſaid Criti'o, let me make you
this other Propoſal, which is, that we change
Cloathes, that you take mine, which are well
known to Andrenio , together with a fufficient.com
million to procure you credit, and thus being difa
guifed, you may deceive the Guard, and take off all
jealouſie of our deſign, the device did not diſlike
him, and to cloathing himſelf like Critilo, he was
with freedom admitted entrance
In the mean time Critilo entertained himſelf with-
out, in viewing the continual falls, and deftructo-
ons of thoſe, whom they violently
The Ruinc
hurried from the Windows of theit
tbich comes by own Perdition. A Prodigal he obler-
Vice
ved thrown down by Women from
the Beds of Roles. upon a Bub of
Thorns,
where being naked the Prickles tormented
him in every part; his Nore being battered in the
fan, cauled him to foute berater and this im-
perfection remained for his whole life, every one
laughing made his role the...common fubject of
their wit, and, deriſion. Such was the loathſom-
nels and deteſtation which this Man and his Con-
forts had of this Sin, that they continually ſpit up
on their delight, and in revenge cat forth a per
petual ilux on the Beftiality of their Sin. Thoſe
who rounded in By-ways. prepole, linger
od ſomething in their fall, but being down,
were more duggiſh to arife ; for meer idleneſs had
deprived
The Sparil Critick.
195
>
deprived them of all active motions of Life, and
theſe being a people of an unprofitable weight
to the Earth only ſerved to fill up the number of
Mankind, and to ſuck the fat of the Earth; and
having never done any thing with dexterity, be-
ing once down had neither courage nor ſtrength
to recover themſelves. But in the Lodgings of
Arms and Weapons, there was heard ſo great at
noiſe, and confuſion, that it ſeemed a Hell or
Bedlam, from whence proceeded Men fo hack-
ed and torn by thoſe blows they had received
that they ſpit Blood from their valiant Breaſts,
and vomited alſo that of their Enemies, which
they had drank in plentiful Bowles, ſo uſu-
ally doth Revenge, extort our Victories from
our hands. Only thoſe of the Lodgings of Poi:
fon, remained ſecure, whilſt they beheld the mi-
feries of others, delighted themſelves whilſt o-
thers lamented, and one there was, who that
another ſhould break an Arm, or pluck out one
Eye, would looſe both; they laught whilſt others
wept, and lamented at what was the common
joy, their pleaſure being to rejoice at the miſe-
ries of others. Critilo ſtood all this while looking
on this unhappy end, and at the evening of a day of
fome years, he perceived Andrenio appear at the
Window, amidſt the Thorns of thoſe Flowers he
had clected, at which he was affrighted , fear-
ing his total deſtruction but he durit not call
to him, leſt he ſhould diſcover himſelf, bat
made ſigns that he fhould remember and meditate
on his deceived condition ; but how and which
way he got down, is related in the following
Criſis.
05
The 18
May
f
ition
The 201
.
196
The Spaniſh Critick:
The Eleventh Crisis.
The dangerous Golf of the Court.
WV
Hen we have ſeen a Lion or Lamb in
them we diſcover the full nature and dif
poſition of the Species; but in ſeeing a Man, we
Tee but one, and his humour and condition too,
almoſt unknown. All Tygers are naturally cruel
the Dove innocent, but every Man is variouſly diſ-
poſed and tempered. The generous Eagle engen-
ders a Brood like himſelf; but noble Worthies are
not fure to propagate their elevated Spirits in their
Poſterity; nor is the vitious Father certain to make
his Son Heir of his depraved Works, as well as of
his Fortunes. For every one hath his ſeveral plea-
ſure, his different behaviour, and faſhion, and opi-
pions in all ages have found heads, and brains like
thoſe that firft invented them. Wiſe Nature hath
beſtowed on every man a Countenance and Com.
ptection peculiar to himself a yotce and Geftures
different from others to ferre Car Characters, and
marks to know him by, that ſo the Good may not
be confounded among the number of the Bad, that
Women may be diftinguiſhed from Men, and that
none way pretend to conceal his own faults under
the
no
:
The Spaniſh Critick. 197
the guife of another. There are many who ſpend
much time and ſtudy in knowing the nature and
quality of Herbs : but how much more would it
import, and advantage them to kpow the nature,
and operations of Men with whom they are to live,
ant die; for all are not Men who appcar 19 out-
wardly, but horrible Monſters and
* Atroceraukian Rocks in the gulfes of * Rocks fecale
great Populations. There are wiſe led.
Men without Works, aged Men with-
out Experience, Youths without Subjection, Women
without Modeſty, Rich without Compaſſion, Poor
without Humility, Lords without Nobility, Com-
monwealths without Government, Deſerts without
Reward, and Men without Humanity: Thefe were
the reflections of this wiſe perſon in ſighț of the Court,
after he had reſcued Andrenip with ſo exemplary pru.
dence. Whilft Critilo ſtayed for Andrenio at the Free-
Gate, he obferved him at the Window involved in
the common danger; howſoever he comforted him-
felf with this, that there was none now could tempt
him farther, before he might take the Gapland
from his Head, the which having done himſelf," he
untwiſted it, and having tied ſome other Bowes to
it, made a Roap, and thereby let himſelf down
and without any danger, of hurt, had the happi-
neſs to come ſafe to ground. At the ſame time alſo
appeared his wiſe Inſtructor at the door, a double
joy to Cririlo, who now thought it not time to uſe
Complements, of Embraces, but halted away as fall
as they could only Andronio turning His Head to
the Window, ſaid, Hang there thou Çord, the Lad-
der of this my Liberty, and trophy of eternal me,
mory to be dedicated to my undeceived condition,
Their way was the direct road to the Court, which
O 3
?
this
..
198
The Spaniſh Critick
this wife Philoſopher called a Falling upon Scylla fi
ávoid Caribdis. Howſoever he accompanied them to
the Gate, being much taken with their ſociety and
converſe, which was the beſt paſtime of this tedious
journy, and travel of our Life. Let me know
Said Critilo, what Houſe this is , and inform me of
what paſſages, and accidents have happened to you.
The wife Philoſopher by the courteſle of Andredio,
taking the upper hand, Know, Taid he, this is the
deceitful Houle, the Inn of the World, The Gate
at which Men enter, is Delight, and
The Tyranny of through which they goour, is Charge
Deligbt. and Expence. That. Famous Robber is
Votxfia, whom we call Delight, and the
Latin Voluptas ; The is the gratious Protectrefs of
Vict, and traws Mortals to their Execution on the
Slid or Delight. This is the who enſlaves and
captivates Men, impriſons them where they pleaſe,
ſome ſhe lodgeth in upper Rooms of Pride, others
in the Dungeon and Cellers of Sloth, but none in-
habit the Middle, all ſituations being Extremities
in Vice. All enter in, as you fee with Songs and
Muſickabut go go with her melody than
their own Sobs, except the Envious, who do all
things in a contrary humour. The remedy not to
mils of the End, or be deftroyed in the Concluſion,
is to cart an eye firſt upon the beginning, which
was the counſel and advice of the wiſe Artemia, and
the only means for me to eſcape ſecure; And for
me, faid Critilo, not to enter in, for I uſually go
with more content to the Houſe of Sorrow, then
of Mirth, for the Holy Days of Rejoicing, are al-
ways the Vigils of Repentance; Believe me Andrea
mio, he that founds his Beginnings in his pleaſure,
fhall end in his forrow, It is fubcient, faid he,
that
The Spaniſh Critick. 199
ܪ
Kyle
that this way we tread is full of Snares, for there
by we become more wary; nor without reaſon hath
Fraud ſet a guard at the beginning to intercept our
entrance, O houſe of Fools! what little reſpect haſt
thou deſerved? O falſe Enchantment of bewitched
Loadſtones, which at firſt attract and entice, and
then þetray; God deliver us, ſaid their Philoſopher,
from what begins with the ſmiles of Content. Nem
ver flatter your ſelves with proſperous and calie fuc-
çels of the firſt Beginnings, but attend always to the
difficulties of the Concluſion. The experience
this I have tryed in the Inn of Voluſia, and in that
Dreatit which ought to awake and revive you.
It is reported that Fortune had two Sons, both
of a moſt different nature, and diſpo-
ſition. The eldeſt was handſome, The Twins of
and of as ſmiling a countenance, as the Fortune.
other was ill-favoured and frowning
their conditions and natures, as uſually it hap-
pens, being read in the Index of their Fores
heads. Their Mother did accordingly habit them
in füch Garments and Dreſs,as did, belt denote their
humours, and diſtinguiſh their conditions, The
eldeſt had his Cloaths embroidered by the Spriog
with Roſes, and Gilliflowers, and between Roleand
Roſe was inſerted a G. which ſerved for a hyror
gliphick, and was interpreted by ſome to be Gratious,
Gallant, Grateful, Great; the Lining was of white
Ermins, which rendred his Aſpect chearful and
ſmiling, ſo as it betokened an inward ſerenity, of
Mind. The other was cloathed in a different man-
ner, in a Black, or Mourning Buckram, worked
with Thorns, and Briars, and between every one
an F. Characters of his foul, fierce, furious, falle
diſpoſition'; his countenance and look ftrook ter
04
ror
200
The Spaniſh Critick.
7
9
ror to all that beheld him. In this Garb they went
forth from the Houſe of their Mother to "the
School, or to the Market. The eldeſt was adored
by all, invited to receive entertainment, the doors
of their Hearts were opened to him, and the whole
World followed him, eſteeming their Eyes bleſt
which ſaw fo gracious a Youth. How much more
happy their Arms which could embrace him? The
other deſpiſed found none ſo courteous, or charita-
ble as to admit him to any acceſs, but as from a
ſcourge or plague fled at his approach ; when ne-
cellity, or conveniency drove him to enter into their
Houſes, their Gate was ſhut againſt him, and his
importunity returned with blows, that ſo baniſhed
from the Society of all, he found no place to make
his reſidence, whether he ſhould now live or die
was the ſubject of his Melancholy contemplation;
his rage not being able to ſuffer longer theſe inju-
ries, he choſe rather to die, that he might live
then to live that he might die; but as contrivance
is the effect of Melancholy, his Brains hegan to
work, and thought on a Plot, which is always more
available then open force. For conſidering how
powerful Fraud was, and the ſeveral Wonders ſhe
continually performs, he determined one night to
Fearch her out, for Light, and Fraud are inconſiſtent
together. In a wearifome ſearch of Fraud he ſpent
much time, but yet arrived not to a ſight, or view
of herfor in every place they ſaid ſhe was, but
he found her in none. He was per-
The Houſe of ſwaded the could not be abſent from
Frand. the Houſe of the Fraudulent, but firſt
in his way he ſearched the Houſe of
Time; who told him, the uſed not to reſide there,
for that he was an enemy to Falſity, and endea
youred
The Spaniſh Critick
201
voured to undeceive the World; but his words were
believed too late ; from thence he
went to the Houſe of the World, The World.
which was always deemed for a De-
ceiver; but was anſwered here, that he never de-
ceived' any , though they deſired it; but Men
deceived themſelves, and deſired to be blind, that
they might be cheated. With that he went to Fal-
ſity, and to his demand, was anſwered, Alas fool !
with what Tongue, or Face, can I tell thee Truth?
In this very anſwer, ſaid he, thou haſt told me
Truth, but yet where ſhall I find it? for if it be
ſo difficult to find out Fraud in the World, it muſt
be impoſſible to diſcover Truth. From thence he
went to the Houſe of Hipocriſie, be-
lieving Fraud was never abſent from Hipocriffe:
thence, and here, the anſwer he re-
ceived was as unſatisfactory as at other places, for
The turning her Neck like her crooked intention
Ịhrugging up her ſhoulders, fimpering with her lips,
contracting her eye-brows, and lifting up her eyes
to Heaven with a ſoft and demure Voice, told him ſhe
knew no ſuch perſons, nor ever kept ſuch company,
though at that time they were both in the fame
League and Conſpiracy with her. From thence he
went to the Houſe of Adulation, a
Palace of no ſmall Magnificence, and Adulation.
here it was told him, that he was ill
adviſed in coming thíther; for though I lie, ſaid ſhe,
I deceive none, for my words are ſuch groſs Hy-
perbolies, and apparent Falſities, that the Judg-
ments of the moſt ſimple and ignorant cannot but
perceive how clearly i. flatter them, and yet not-
withſtanding, they are tickled at my vain and ex-
prbitant Praiſes, and remunerate me well for ſo un-
}
profitable
!
202 The Spaniſh Critick.
profitable an Office. Having thus ſuch ill ſucceſs in
his ſearch, Is it poſſible, ſaid he, ſighing, that the
World ſhould be ſo full of Deceit and Fraud, and
yet I ſhould not meet it, that the World ſhould re-
found with it, and every corner ſhould lament the
injuries received by it, and yet my ſelf the only
Unfortunate in this wiſht encounter ? Perhaps I
may find her hid within the Curtains of the Marri-
age-Bed, for there will I ſeek her; he asked the
Husband, and the Wife, both of them confeſling
there had been ſo many, and ſuch falſe Careſſes be-
tween them, that neither could complain their real
embraces were returned by the other in a more
flattering way, than themſelves had given them,
Then he enquired alſo in the Merchants ſhops, un-
der the lined Cloaks of the Uſurers, and amongſt
the undone Creditors; who anſwered him, that
Fraud was not there, for indeed it is not there
where it is evidently known to inhabit; the ſame
replied all Tradeſmen, affirming, that ſuch could
not be deceived, for he, who knows where Fraud lies,
and yet ventures on it, cannot complain of recei-
ving injury; with ſuch ill fucceſs as this deſpairing of
his intentions, and made deſperate, was reſolved to
try his laſt hopes, and to find her out, though it.
were in the Houſe of the Devil; fo thither he
went, which was at Genoui, I mcanat Geneva; but
Fraud fiercely raged, and thundring out Curſes and
Execrations, cryed out, Who I, ſaid ſhe, Deceit?
I Deceit? How well is my Innocency, and my Pains
rewarded, wherewith I deſire to unblind the World,
I promiſe them not Heaven, but Hell, I ſet not á
Paradiſe before their Eyes, but continually threaten
their perſevering Sins with ſulphurous Flames, who
notwithſtanding, as not affrighted, purſue after me,
and
The Spaniſh Critick.
203
ร์ I
and upon hard Conditions are Slaves unto my Will i
How then can this Plain-dealing be ſtiled Deceit?
At this reply, as fully ſatisfied, he departed away,
and giving another turn, came to the Houſe of the
Deceived, being Men oftentimes good, and credu-
lous, of a candid nature, and diſpoſition, were apt
to admit Fraud, and to give credit to falſe ap-
pearances; but they aſſured him it was not there
but in the Houſe of the Deceivers; for thoſe are
right, and moſt truly Fools, who endeavouring to
deceive others, have the whole weight and misfor-
tunes of their bad intentions retorted on themſelves,
How is this, ſaid he, the Deceived tell me the De-
ceivers retain it, and they, that the Defrauded; for
my part I believe both the one and the other entertain
her, and are pofTeffed with her, though they are
ignorant of it. In this inquiſitive ſearch Wiſdom
met him, not he her, and gave him this true infor.
mation. Unfortunate wretch, ſaid ſhe, whom ſeekeſt
thou, or why ſearcheſtthou any other then thy ſelf?
Doſt thou not know that he who ſeeks Deceit ,
ſhall never find it, its nature lies, in being conceal-
led, and in once diſcovering it, it is no more the
ſame; get thee to the Houſe of ſome of thoſe who
deceive themſelves, for from them it is never ab-
ſent. And ſo it proved, for entring into the Houſe
of the Confident, the Preſumptuous, the Covetous,
the Envious, at laſt he found it, but much diſguiſed
and painted over with the colour of Verity; he
communicated to her his misfortunes, his affronts,
the diſguſts of the World, and expected from her,
as an Oracle, ſome remedy and eaſe of his diſcon
tents : Deceit looking well upon him, ſaid, thou =
lookeſt like the picture of ill-luck, thy ill-favoured
countenance ſpeaks thee fo, and yet thou art worſe
then
204
The Spaniſh Critick.
then what thou ſeemeſt; notwithſtanding be of good
courage, for neither my diligence nor policy ſhall
be wanting in this, in which I am glad to find oc-
caſions wherein to manifeſt to the World my
power. O! how well we two are matched. Be
couragious, for if the firſt ſtep in a Cure, is to find
and diſcover the root of the Diſeaſe, I have done
the like in your grief, and know the cauſe and ori-
ginal of its ariſe. I know and feel the pulſe, and
temper of Men, though they are ignorant of me;
I know on which foot the ill arbitrement of their
Will halts, and goes lame ; for believe me, thou
: art not abhorred becauſe thou art evil, but becauſe
thou appeareſt fo; theſe Thorns embroidered on
your Coat, make Men afraid, and ſo ſtart at them,
which changed for Flowers, would give a kind in-
vitation to all to follow you ; leave but all to my
management, and in a ſhort time the World ſhall
adore you, and your Brother fall into the
common diſgrace. I have already thought the way,
and with that taking him by the hand , they went
both together into the Houſe of Fortune, whom
after Fraud had ſaluted with the uſual Complements,
Fortune faid, that ſhe had need of a Guide as being
blind. Whereupon Fortune's Son offered this Fraud
for her ſervice, declaring the conveniencies and ad-
vantages ſhe might receive by it ; and running into
high commendations of the Youths towardlyneſs,
and diſcretion, that he knew more tricks and eva-
fions then the Devils Scholars; and above all, that
he deſired no other pay or reward, then his own
Merits; Fortune accepted the profer, and admit-
ted Fraud to her Houſe, which is the whole world.
Upon
The Spaniſh Critick.
205
Upon this all things began to forſake their uſual
conrſe, nothing remained in its pro-
per Centre, nay the very courſe of Fortunes
time it ſelf, was diverted with an un Guide.
known motion ; for this Guide or
Conductor of Fortune, directed her always contra-
ry to her intentions, if the deſired to bleſs the head of
the Vertuous with her preſence, the unlucky Boy wan-
tonly led her to the houſe of the Vitious: when necef
ſity or conveniency required her hafte, he ſtopt her
progreſs, when ſlowly ſhe ſhould move, he fixed
her Wings to Ay, and ſo ſhuffled, changed, and con-
founded her Actions, that all went prepoſterouſly
diſordered; the Gifts and Favours ſhe Thould be-
ſtow on the Wiſe, became the undeſerved Bleſſings
of Ignorance, and the Cowards Brow was encircled
with the Lawrel of the valiant Conqueror, and ſo
changed her hands that ſhe unjuſtly beſtowed
both happineſs, and misfortunes, on thoſe who fealt
deſerved them. Thus ſhe ſtrikes out of ſeaſon
when neither time nor ſubject requires it ; ſhe wounds
the Pious and vertuous, and with a back-blow of
Poverty, knocks down the wiſe and induſtrious ;
and to the fraudulent and deceitful gives her hand
with all promiſes, and proteſtations to make them as
proſperous as now we ſee them.How often have her
blows erred and unhappily fallen on thoſe whom all
bewailed ? ſhe deſtroyed Don Balthafar of Lunnige,
when he ſhould have begun to live; alſo the Duke of
Infantado, the Marquis of Aytona, and other Wor-
thies, when the unſtable condition of that Age moſt
Tequired their Government, and Prudence to ſupport
and conduct it; ſhe gave a back blow of Poverty to
Don Luys.of Gongora , and to Auguſtin of Barbofa,
and to other eminent Men, when the ought both to
>
have
206 The Spaniſh Critick.
...1* !!
2
have crowned their years and actions with reward;
and yet this unlucky Boy excuſed himſelf, that theſe
Men like unſeaſonable Fruit came out of time, their
age being in the reign of Leo the Tenth, or of
Francis King of France, not in the corrupt years
of this preſent age. What affronts hath ſhe done to
the Marquis of Torrecuſo,and afterwards triumphed in
ſaying, had he not done ſomething in War, he ſhould
quickly have been forgotten. By another ſhot her
Bullet erred in hitting Don Martin of Aragon, though
the Crime was ſo evident, that ſhe could not but con-
fefs her fault : Again ſhe ſeemingly conſented to
honour Azpilgueis Navarro, with a Cardinals Hat
for his liberal Endowments of a famous Colledge;
but ſporting with him one day at Hotcockles, the
gave him ſuch a blow on the Hand as ſtruck him to
the ground, and whilſt a Choriſter came to help
him up, the unlucky Boy laughed, ſaying, that ſuch
as theſe have no need to live, whoſe Memory and
Fame ſhall never die; to others we continue life in-
deed, who humbly receive it, and thankfully repay
it. She had great thoughts of fa-
Spain. vouring the Monarchy of Spain with
much happineſs and ſucceſs; and in
reward of their Catholick Chriſtianity to beſtow
on them the Indies, and other Kingdoms, with ma-
ny Victories; but inſtead hereof both Fortune and
her Guide leaped on a ſudden into France, to the
amazement of the whole World; which piece of un-
conſtancy ſhe excuſed, by ſaying, that the Race and
Seed of Spains former Worthies was quite extinct;
that France was no longer to be accounted raſh and
upconſiderate, but wiſe, ſetled, and firm to her prin-
ciples; and to conceal the hatred which her Malice
bears to Piety, the conſented to the ſucceſs of the
Venetian
The Spaniſh Critick:
207
Venetian Republique in ſome Con-
queſts againſt the Ottoman power, Yenice.
obtained by their own Valour. A
Miracle indeed that the World hath The Otoman
admired; till the reaſon fhe
gave
Funily.
cleared the wonder, ſaying, ſhe was
tyred in carrying the Ottoman ſucceſs up ſo ſteep an
Aſcent by meer force, whilſt they neither contri-
buted thereunto either by Wit, or Induſtry; in this
manner all things were ſhuffled together, fortunes
and misfortunes were confounded, and reſted on the
heads of thoſe that leaſt deſerved or expected
them. The Plot being now ripe to be executed,
it was obſerved, that at night when Fortune un-
dreſſed her Sons, for none ſhe would truſt with this
office of diſpoſing their Cloaths, but with great care
ordered it her ſelf, and laid them in ſeveral places,
that ſhe might not miſtake when ſhe cloathed her
Children again. Deceit was very active to take ad
vantage on the preſent opportunity, and changed the
place of their Cloaths, thoſe of ill fortune into the
place of good, and thoſe of good into the place of
bad: In the morning Fortune, as unwary as blind,
cloathed Vertue in the Garment of embroidered
Thorns, and made Vice gallant with his elder Bro.
thers Flowers; which being ſet out in the Sophiſtries
of deceit, made ſo glorious a luſtre and beauty,that all
the World adored his footſteps, and entertained him
both in their Houſes and Hearts, believing it was
Vertue they then received; and though ſome at the
coſt of their own experience, told and informed
others of the Error, yet few believed them; for
ſeeing Vice to be ſo gallant and gentile, they could
not be perſwaded to judge amiſs of that, which
they ſo much affected. Since that day Vertue and
Vice
208
The Spaniſh Critick.
of Vice.
Vice have been confounded, and the
The beginning World deceived; for thoſe who em-
brace Vice with low thoughts of Sen-
fuality, have ſpeedily found themſelves
deceived, and too late entertained thoughts of re-
pentance. But on the contrary, thoſe who being
undeceived have cloſed with Vertue, though the
Thorns of his Garment have prickt and tormented
them, at the firſt embraces, yet at the
The Ends of end they found the fruit of true con-
Vertue. tent, and lived in the ſerenity of a
calm Conſcience. How flouriſhing and
fair ſeems their own beauty to fome, and how de-
formed after, and disfigured with a thouſand infir-
mities; how wanton is Youth, but how loan doth
time benumb their Joints? how plauſible doth Dig-
nity appear to the Ambitious, and the weight of
Government to be eaſed by eſtimati-
Changes, on; but afterwards how burdenſome
Burdens.
do they find it, and how do their
ſhoulders faint under fo heavy a pref
fure? How pleaſing do the Cruel imagine revenge,
and bathe themſelves in the Bloud of their Enemies
;
but afterwards their whole Life is pangs and pricks
of Conſcience to him whoſe Stomach cannot dir-
gorge the draughts and ſurfers he hath made in
Bloud. Even ſtolen water is ſweet, and the rich is
pleaſed to trample on; and make a prey on the
poorer. Yet aftewards with how much violence is
he compelled to make reſtitution. Let the Glutton
furfet himſelf in his curious Diet, and pleaſe his
Palate with delitious Wiries; but what fatisfaction
can theſe make for his Plethory of Body, from
whence proceed Droplies, and Gouts which twinges
his-Joints, and enfeebles the Nerves of his whole
Body.
The Spaniſh Critick.
195
as an abſtemious
ways cloathed outwardli
Body. The Laſcivious will not looſe his ſenſual
copulation, though he buyes his delight with the
priče of his own Body. The Covetous embraces
Thorns in his Riches, which torment and diſturb his
ſleep, and looſeth his Heart in them, without cn-
joying of them. All theſe deſign to bleſs their Fami-
lies with the pleaſing appearance of delight, which
indeed is but a concealed evil, and not a concentment,
but a torment, and a deſerved reward for their iond
miſtake. But contrarily how difficult, and ſteep is
the aſcent to. Vertue at firſt, yet afterwards what
ſatisfaction is there in a good Conſcience? With
Temperance, and yet in that conſiſts the health both
of-soul and Body? How intollerable appears Con-
tinence, and yet in that we enjoy Life, Health, and
Liberty ? He who contents himſelf with Mediocri-
ty, lives; the humble poſſeſſeth the Earth, and
makes his enemies to be at peace with him ; but a-
bove all, what peace accompanies him, and how ſa-
voury is the odour of his good fame? What ſweet
Fruit hath ſprang from the bitter root of mortifi-
cation? Though ſilence ſcems, an effect o Melan-
choly, yet the wiſe never repented he had held his
Tongue: fo that Vertuc lince that time went al-
ly with Flowers different to Vice, which therefore
let us diſtinguiſh under that Character, and embrace
in deſpight of common, and vulgar deceit.
They were now come in ſight of the Court, when
Andrenio looking on Madrid with a great deal of
pleaſure and attention. The wife Phi-
loſopher asked him, what he ſaw? I
* A true Spanio
Lee, ſaid he, the * Royal Mother of
iſh Rodemostan
fo
many Nations, the Crown of the
P
TWÓ
de.
3
196
The Spaniſh Critick.
two Worlds, the Centre of ſo many Kingdoms, the
Jewel of both the Indies,the Neſt of the Phenix it felf,
the Sphear of the Catholick Sun, crowned and en-
circled with Perfections as Rayes, and with noble
Arnis as Lights. But I ſee, ſaid Critilo, a Babylon of
confuſions, a Paris of dirt and filth,
Madrid not a a Rome of changes, a Palerno of Æt-
Mother, but na's linoaks, a Conſtantinople of miſts,
Step-moiber.
a London of peſtilence, an Algier of
captives. I ſee, ſaid the Philoſopher,
Madrid the Mother of all perfections on one ſide,
and a Step-inother on the other; for as the chiefert
rarities addreſs themſelves to the Court, fo in like
manner do Vices ſwarm there, being introduced by
thoſe which know not how to bring other then the vi-
tious habits of their own Countries. For my own part,
I will not goin, as I have already told you, but bring-
ing them to the Bridge Milvio, he there left them.
But Critilo and Andrenio adventured in by the ſtreet
of Toledo, and preſently they happened into a Shop
where Wiſdom was to be fold; Critilo asked the
Bookfeller if he had a clue of golden Thread to
fell them but he did not preſently apprehend his
queſtion, for thoſe who only read the Titles of
Books, are ſeldom learned by them; but another
standing by, a graduated Courtier both in years
and experience, faid, You little underſtand them,
for it is a compaſs they deſire to fail by in this
Ocean and Golf of Circes. I underſtand you leſs,
faid the Bookſeller, for here is neither Gold nor
Silver ſold, but only Books, a more precious com-
modity then either. It is this, replied Critilo, we
look after, and one eſpecially which may give us
fome Councils, and Inſtructions how to govern our
ielves in this twining Labyrinth. So then, ſaid the
Book-
Ş
.
The Spaniſh Critick.
197
Bookſeller, it ſeems that you are Strangers, and if 10,
make uſe of this Manual, it is no Tome, but ra-
ther an Atome, and yet it ſhall ſerve to guide you
to the North of Felicity it felf: here take this, which
I have ſeen do Miracles, ic being that which in-
ſtructs us in the art of being Men, and teaches us to
keep a ſociety worthy cf thoſe who are ſo: Critilo
took it, and read the Title, which was Galateus of
the Court. What is the Price, ſaid he? Sir, ſaid
the Bookſeller, it hath no price, it is above account,
and is worth more to him who carries it; thele
Books we do not ſell, but pawn for two Ryals
for the World affords not ſufficient Riches whereby
to make their eſtimation. At this ſpeech the Cour-
tier gave ſuch a loud laughter, that
Critilo admired
at it, and the Bookfeller was put out of countenance,
and asked the reaſon why he lo laughed. To which he
replied that the abſurdity of what he ſaid was worthy
of it;for the whole matter which the Book treated of
was Ridiculous: I ſee now, ſaid the Bookſeller,
that Galatew is no more then the Elements of Mora
lity, the A, B, C. of Breeeding, nos yet can it be
denied; but it is a golden toy, both plauſible and
important, and though but little, yet it can make
men great, and teach them to continue ſo. Nothing
leſs true then this, replied the Courtier, for this
Book, faid he, taking it into his hands is Heterodox,
and might be worth ſomething, did it teach Con-
traries : In thoſe innocent times when
men were ſuch, theſe rules and precepts Galateus rea
were fitly calculated for that age, but prebended.
in theſe times we now live, they are
like Fruit out of ſeaſon, or like Almanacks out of
date : theſe were Lellóns for antient days when
they uſed Croſs-bows, but this is an age of more
dangerous Artillery; believe me they are of no va-
ue,
P a
mit
198
The Spaniſh Critick.
-lue, and that your own felves may confeſs the ſame,
hear me theſe firft Lines, he ſays, Thit obſerving the
Rules of diſcreet Ceremonies, we ought not to ſtare bim
in the Face with whom we speak, as if we would eſpy
fonie Myſteries in bis Eyes. Conſider how good a
Rule this is for theſe times, in which the Tongue
liath loſt that tie and ſtring which united it to the
Heart. Where then Monld we look, on thc Breaſt ?
It is true, it were good to pierce as far as the Heart,
had it the tranſparent Glaſs to cover it, which Mo-
mus delired; for though our eyes were fixed to ob-
ſerve his poſtures, and our ſight attentive to diſcover
changes in his countenance, yet our greateſt atten-
tion can ſcarce gueſs at the language of his interiour
thoughts; how far ſliort then muſt we come of this
end, in not beholding him. Let us then look on
him, picrce him with the quick darts of our Eyes,
Jook Noie 10-Nolegand yet pray. Heaven the point
of our attention may be ſo ſubtle and ſharp as to
read tris sout in tits Face; to obſerve if he changes
fris
Colours it he kuits his Brows, or his Heart
fhuffles and
wand plays within him. This Rule, as I
lay, was good and civil in better timcs : but now
Wiſe men will not eſteem it unmannerly, unleſs they
could procure the ineſtimable Felicity of fuch Affo
ciates, whoſe words and actions have no need of be-
ing tfyed by the conſtancy of their countenances.
Hear allo this other, for it much pleaſeth me as often
as I read it, that it is a barbarous Slovenry after we
have blown our Noſe, to look on the Snot in our
Handkerchief, as if the filth were Pearls or Dia-
monds which proceed from our Brain. This; Sir,
faid Critilo, is a fancy as Court-like as ſubtle, but
yet in Criticiſms of this nature, we ſhall never want
words, or arguments for both parts. Not fo, re-
plied
The Spaniſh: Critick.
199
plied the Courtier, for you underſtand it not, but
buc.
in reſpect of the Author, who mult pardon me, andh
teach me better. For I ſay yes, le: cvery one look.
· on it, ſee and know his filth, and corruption he:
caſts forth: let the confident Sophiſter know that:
he is but a ſnotty Charlatan, for though he is un-
able rationally to diſcourſe, or ſcarce Logick enough
to know his Right hand, hath yet high thoughts of
his own abilitics: let him who hath an elevated opi-
nion of his own fancy know, that thoſe are not Sen-
tences, or Subtleties which he conceives, but a dull
offspring of his Brain, which is diſtilled through the
Limbick of his circumflexed Noſe. Let the dainty
Lady perſwade her ſelf, that ſhe is not ſuch an An-
gel as her Servant ſpeak her, that it is not
Amber, through which ſhe breathes, but a Kennel
and painted Pipe to convey Corruption. Let Alexia
ander undeceive himſelf, that he is not Son to Jupiter
but to Putrifaction, and Grand-child of nothing.
And let every man know that the Divinity he con-
ceives in himſelf is but humane imperfezion, a bubble
of vanity, and that the wind and ſmoak of conceit
which riſes to his head, diſſolves into filth and nau-
rious humours. Let us all underſtard, and know!
our ſelves, that we are but Veſſels of unclean ſtenches,
when we are Children we are Snotty, when Old
Flegmatick, when in our middle Age, we are Chole-
rick and ſubject to the ſuperfluity of Impoſthumes.
Another thing he ſays is altogether unprofitable
which is, that a well faſhioned Man ought not to pick
the Wax out of his Ears, and paſte it between his
Fingers. Let me ask you, Sirs, who it is that can do
fosfor in whoſe Ears hath the importunate dig
courſes of one or other left it ? For this is an age
, wherein Men have but little Wax in their Ears, it had
р
bet-
200
The Spaniſh Critick.
better he had encharged us, not to ſuffer the rapacity
of the deceitful to pick it out, or the cloſe Leach to
ſuck it forth, or to ſuffer Scriveners, or others, whom I
will forbear to mention, have fo free a paſſage to the
Organ of our Hearing. But I am moſt fcandalized,
that he ſhould call it clowniſh, for one being in com-
pany to take out his Siſſers, and clip his Nails.
This I confeſs I cannot but eſteem a moſt pernitious
Doctrine, for ſuppoſe that men are apt to omit
the paring of their Nails in ſecret, how much leſs
should they be in publick ; it were better to com-
mand them this office before the whole world, as
the Almiranto of Naples did, for every one muſt
needs be offended to ſee thoſe long Nails ſome
wear, that their Siſers may not be ſaid ſo much to
clip as to ſhare them; let them cut off thoſe claws
of Rapine ſo cloſe, that they may touch the quick.
There are ſome ſo charitable as to frequent the
Hoſpitals; to cut the Nails of the poor, it is true,
it is a great Charity; nor would it be leſs commen-
dable to enter into the Houſe of the Rich, and
ſhorten thoſe Claws of Rapine by which they have
made themſelves as great as rapacious, having ſtript
the Poor, and thruft them from their doors, or at
leaſt reduced them to that miſery, that they have
need of the charitable reception of an Hoſpital.
As little reaſon had he to recommend to us
the civility of taking off our Hats, as a token of
kindneſs and reſpect ; for now they take not only off
the Hat,but the Cloak and Coat, and
Courtefie De-
ſtrip men of Honelty to the very
ceit.
Skin, and flea him alive, and then tell
the good man,that it is out of kindneſs they treat him
no
worſe. There are others who ſo much obſerve
chis Rule, that they enter with a Cap on wherefo-
cver
The Spaniſh Critick.
201
tt
ever they go; and thus you ſee, that this rule is like
the others. Another that I read now, is againit
all Morality. I wonder it hath not incurred a gene-
ral cenſure, and diſlike; he faith, that a man Hould
negligently move his feet, not obſerving at every
ſtep where he ſets them, but ſet them there, where
by chance or occaſionally they fall. This I deny,
for might I counſel any, I ſhould adviſe them nog
to tranſgreſs or ſurpaſs the bound, and point of
that Reaſon, which is in conformity to the Law of
God; let a man look and fee that he doth nat pals
the limits of his Eſtate and Fortune, left he fall
into that Precipice, in which many have periſhed.
That he treads not on a narrow Line without Ici-
fure, and due conſideration, for this is for a man to
meaſure his own abilities, and to weigh his own
Burden, that he ſtrain not his hand nor foot to
reach farther than he is able; this I adviſe and coun-
fel: That he conſider where he fet his foot, ſee
where he enters, and where he goes out, that he
makes a firm footing in the middle, and not in the
dangerous brims and borders of extremes: for this
is to go well, and ſecure. Another thing he ſays.
that it ſeems like a Fool for a Man to go talking
with himſelf; but with whom can a man diſcourſe
better, than with himiert? What Friend hath he
more faithfat, and ſincere
? "Let him ſpeak, and tell
himſelf the truth, for none elſe will ; let him ask,
and hear the Voice of his own Conſcience; let him
confort, and adviſe himſelf, and believe that all
others admonish only for their own advantge and
interefty thrat they arenit
keepers of
ſecrets, and would even betray the Hue Bloody
very thirt of the King D. Pedro. The sbirs.
next thing he ſays, is, that in our
P4
dir
1 he Spaniſh Critick.
diſcourſe we ſhould not uſe much action, for that is
to pump out our Soul, as well as our Body. He
Says well in this, if he to whom we ſpeak is atten-
tive
2
but not if he be deaf, as often Men are in
thoſe things which concern either them or us moſt;
if he Deeps we have need to awake him, and there
are ſome, though brayed in a Morter, are ſtill unap-
prelienſive, and uncapable Subjects of the loweſt
Reaſon; for what can a Man do leſs when he ſees
his Auditors both dull of apprehenſion, and unatteus
tive to his words ? Of neceſſity we had need with
the Peſtle of our Speech to beat it into their Brains,
for unleſs it be violently inculcated, they will ſcarce
admit it into their Ears. That a loud, and high
Voice is inconſiſtent with gravity, is according to
thoſe unto whom we ſpeak; for believe me, words
of Silk are not agreeable unto Cloth ears, and he
who actuates not his words with his hands, gives
no life to his Speech , but ſtands with that compa-
ſedneſs, as if he were Angling, or ſtill in expecta-
tion the Fiſh fhould bite, it were a good buſineſs if
we could by this means diſtinguiſh good hands from
bad; let me priſe thoſe which are good, for then
they ſeem to reach Heaven it ſelf, and graſp it in
their hands. Thus, with the Authors leave I muſt
be of a contrary opinion to him; for let every Man
2
Do and Say, let him uot be all Words,
Sayings and but ſometimes Actions, and Executi-
Doings.
ons, let him ſpeak truth, and if his
hands are endued with dexterity, let
him interpoſe them on all occaſions.
As this Author hạth ſome rules ſuperfluous, ſo he
hath others idle and fooliſh, and this is one; that a
Man when he ſpeaks to another, ſhould not ap-
prcach very dear to him, Jeaſt he be{patter him with
his
The spaniſh Critick.
203
*
Some the undergoing *****
Chamber-pots
his Spittle ; for there are ſome ſo indiſcreet, that
they ought to adviſe before they
ſpeak,and bid them beware of * Wa-
Agua va, as
ter, that the Hearers may retire at they do at Ma-
ſome diſtance, or arm themſelves a- drid, zoben they
gainſt the torrent, and theſe are ſuch empty the
who ordinarily ſpeak with a conti at their win-
nual motion, without Parentheſis, dows.
Coma, or Period. For my own part,
I think it inore dangerous to be ſubject to thoſe
Fires ſome caſt from their Mouth, then the ſprink-
lings of Spittle, and more dreadful are thoſe Flames
of Malice, of Murmurings, of Flattery, of Obſce,
nity, and Scandal, which iſſue from them. Worſe
alſo are the foams of Rage, and more need had he
to adviſe us of a fload of Choler: let him rather
reprehend the emiſſions of Poiſon, which proceed
from under their lips, for to diſcommend ſpitting,
is Childiſhnels : Small hurt can the thrill noiſe of a
Quail do us, God deliver us from the ſwift Bullet
of injury, from the Shaft of the Throat, from the
Wildfire of Treaſon, from the Pikes of ſharp
Tongues, and from the Artillery of Sląunders.
Another Precept he hath, as ridiculous as the reſt,
That when we ſpeak with another, we ſhould not
lay onr Hands upon his Breaſt, and twine his But
tons till they fall off. I ſay yes,let us
feel the Pulſe of his Breaſt, touch his * He means
Heart, examine how it beats , try if thoſe who never
he have Loops on his Waſtecoat, for uncloſe their in-
there are fome have not: let us pull ments
, viz.
ward Gar->
him by the Sleeve whº goes aſtray, their Thoughts
and another by his Skirt, that he may to none.
amend his crooked ways, and ſo far
remember himſelf as not co be Fran-
tick)
104 The Spaniſh Critick.
tick. The next that follows, is what was never lo
much as mentioned in any Commonwealth, no not in
Venice it ſelf, nor in any time of former age, which
is, that we ſhould not in our eating fill both Cheeks
at once, as being a great piece of Clownery: This
you ſee is a Leſſon, which the moſt curious, in their
dreſs and behaviour, leaſt practiſe, being that which
fills up the wrincles of the Face moft,and ſets off their
beauty to beſt advantage. Another is, that we
ſhould not laugh loud : and yet there are ſuch ri-
diculous mockeries in the World, that a man cannot
contain himfelf by deriding them in his Sleeve only;
but he muſt neceſſarily burſt into an exceſs of laugh-
ter. The next is like the former, That we ſhould
|| not chew with our Mouth ſhut; how good a Rule
is this, for the nature of this Age, in which there
are ſo many hungry Wolves, that the beſt ſecurity
we can take, is ſcarce ſufficient to preſerve a morſel
within our Mouths from rapacious hands. What
would become of us then if our Mouths were open?
for in no occaſion it imports us more then in our
cating and drinking to keep them ſhut; which was the
Rule that the Marquis Spinola, obſerved when he
invited the ceremonious Henrico to his Table ; but
that our Author may be punctual in all points, he
forbids us to belch, for though it be healthful, yet
it is clowniſh; believe me, let all caſt our thoſe bad
Fumes engendred by ill concoction, thoſe windy
puffs, that ſwell them, of which thoſe are moſt full ,
who are emptieſt of ſubſtance: and I wiſh they may
at laſt work out thoſe Fumes from their heads, and
therefore when they ſneeze may God help them to
caſt out the wind of their Vanity, that we may wiſh
them joy of ſo fair a riddance:for all may know by the
filthineſs of the Breath, how corrupted the Air is
when
San
The Spaniſh Critick. 205
32. W
when out of its place. Yet there is one Precept of
Galateus hath much pleaſed me, and ſeems very
ſound, that ſo may be confirmed that common ſay-
ing, There is no Book without ſomething good,
and commendable; he therefore premiſeth as a ca
pital Precept, and fundamental point of his cere-
monious Office ; that a Gallant of his making ,
ſhould endeavour above all to ſhine with the Endow.
ments of Fortune, and upon the Baſis of Gold to
erect a Scheme of Courteſie, Diſcretion, Gallantry,
and other Parts, which commend an accompliſhed
Gentleman; for if his Fortunes be ſmall, his Trea-
fury of Knowledge, will be eſteemed but Poor ; nor
ſhall he have the reputation of Wife, Diſcreet, Cour-
teous, as if his inward Perfections were to be fet
off with an outward foil ; this is my opini-
on of Galatews. If this doth not content you
ſaid the Bookſeller, becauſe he treats of material
Ceremonies, his Doctrine being only of outward
carriage : Here is then, and it may be better to
him to the Court: This ſublime Doctrine is not de-
livered with the affected gravity of a Portagkes, but
is as much as the Count of Parislegre
could ſay when he fent his Son upon Tbe Court of
the Tike occalion. This Work, repli- Portalegre.
ed the Courtier, is too ſublime, and
high for me, and fit for thoſe only who move in
the ſupreanı Sphere of the Commonwealth; for he
is not to be eſteemed a judicious Workman who ſhall
think to fit a Dwarf with the Shooe of a Giant :
believe me there is no other Book which Art could
form more for the purpoſe, or accommodated to the
humogrs of Madrid; I know that my Heterodox and
pero
206 The Spaniſh Critick.
I
perhaps Stoical Tenents may have cauſed Men to cená
fure me as Cynical; yet I ſhall ſooner prefer Truth,
then flatter others in their own ſenſe and fancies. Let
me tell you the Book, that you ſhould ſeek and read.is
Homer's olulles. But hold, and let me declare
my
felf, Telt there be a miſtake; Do you thiok
the
dangerous Golf he writes
of, is in Sicily, and that
the Syrens inhabit on thoſe Sands with their Faces
like Women, and their Tails like Fiſh, or that the
Cirze performs her Enchantments in her Ille, and
the proud Cyclops in his Cave? Know that the
dangerous Sea, is the Court environed with the Cyla
of Deceit,and Caribdis of Falſity:
thoſe Women you
ſee paſs
yonder To wantonly Modeft,and to defolutely
compoſed, are the true Sgrens, and falſe Women,
whoſe end is monſtrous, and the remembrance of
them diſpleaſing. It was not ſufficient that cautious
*Vlylles ſtopt his
Ears, unleſs he had bound himſelf
to the Main-maſt of Vertue, and flying from theſe
Enchantments, ſteered his Ship to the Haven of Se
curity. There are Circes, who with the force
Magick Charms,trave bewitched men in that manner,
that they have transformed them into Brutes. What
fhatt I fay of ſo many Cyclopſes, as foolim, as arroa
gant, who having bnt one eye, have yet fixed that
on the Obječts of their own appetite, and pre
ſumption' This very Book you turd over,bah, as
I ſay, direct your iteps, and teach you like Ulypes to
eſcape this Rock, and as I hope , direct vol from
thole monſtrous encounters which threaten your de
ſtruction Upon this recommendation they took
his counſel, and paſſed forward, much guided by
what the Courtier had adviſed, and Vlynes taught.
They met with no Friend nor Kinſman, no Acquain-
tance, becauſe they were poor, and in a mean cang
dition.
Nor
.
*
The Spaniſh Critick.
207
Nor could Critilo diſcover his deſired FeliAnda;and ſo
finding themſelves deſtitute of all relief, and deſpi-
ſed becauſe in want, Critilo determined to make uſe
of the vertue of ſome Oriental Stones, which the fa.
vour of the Seas had reſerved to him in his Ship-
wrack : but eſpecially to make experience how well
the folidity of his Diamond could conquer difficul-
ties, and whether the rich Emerod (as Philoſo-
phers write ) had the virtue to reconcile Wills
and gain Affections. With that he brought them
to light, which at the ſame time worked ſuch mira-
culous effects, that he ſoon obtained the good will
and wiſhes of all thoſe of the beſt Blood of Spain,
the moſt gallant, diſcreet, and underſtanding, were
ambitious of his acquaintance. So great was the
Fame of this Diamond, that it betrayed them into
the Covetous hands of ſome Soldiers, but were
freed from them by a multitude of Friends who
courted their friendſhip, and deſired to be of their
Kindred; they gained more Cofins then a King
and Nephews then a Pope, all which the Fame of
this Diamond had created. But the moſt pleaſant
accident was that which happened to Andrenio, for
in paſſing through the great Street to the Palace
came a Page to him, gaudy in his Livery, and free
in his Garb, drew out a fold of a Letter, which he
kept cloſe up, giving him only leave to look on the
Firm which was ſubſcribed a Coſin and Servant of
yours ; in it fhe congratulated his fafe arrival at the
Court, much complaining that he who was or id
near Blood to her, was yet ſo much a Stranger and
unknown, with all deſiring him not to fail to come
and ſee her, for that Page was there to direct him
the way, and ſhow him her lodging. Andrenio was
much ſurprized to hear the name of Cozen, who
bes
2
7
208
The Spaniſh Critick.
believed he had no Mother ; but being more ex-
cited with curioſity to try the event, then with
hopes of unknown embraces, together with the
Page went directly to the houſe; But what ſtrange
fucceſſes befel him there, is related in the following
Criſis.
The
The Spaniſh Critick.
209
The Twelfth CRISIS.
>
The Charms of Falſe Syrens.
T
Hough Solomon was the wiſeſt of Men, yet he
was the moſt deceived by Women, and having
been the moſt amorous perſon in the World, he was
beſt able to give a Character, and a report of their
Nature, which was this, That an Evil Woman
is a great Evil to Man, and his worſt Enemy; ſhe is
more ſtrong then Wine, more powerful then a
King, and being all Falſity, is not afraid to bid
open defiance unto Truth. Lefs dangerous to us
are the Rancours, and Malice of an Enemy, then the
Embraces, and Careſſes of a falſe Woman, ſaid he,
who ſpake the wiſeſt; for leſs hurtful is it, to be
purſued by the threatning Dart of a Man, then to
have a Woman follow our ſteps with pretenſions of
Love. She is not one Enemy alone, but many com-
plicated in one; and in her hath Malevolence pla.
ced its Ammunition, and Artillery againſt us, he is
compoſed of Fleſh to diſcompoſe carnal Man; the
World cloaths her, and that ſhe may conquer Man,
makes a World of her, and the Devil over thoſe
Garments which the World gave her, caſts a Cloak
of deceitful Embraces. She is a Gerion of Enemies,
the
;
** ..........
210 The Spaniſh Critick.
the triple Cord, and Snare of our Liberty, which
is hardly broken. Hence doubtleſs it is, that all
the evils of the World havę Attributes of the Fe-
minine Gender, as the Furies, Deſtinies, Sirens, Har-
pies, for all thoſe Evils may be united in the wicked-
neſs of one bad woman : Different Pallions have
their ſeveral times, and ſeaſons of age, in which
their ſtrength is moſt vigorous to encouter Man,
Tome in Youth, others in Old age; but a Woman
without reſpect of years, is an importunate Tor-
mentor in all Ages ; neither is Youth ſecure from
her, nor Ripe, nor Old age; neither the Wiſe, nor
Valiant, nor yet a Saint can ſay that he is invulne-
rable in thoſe temptations : for ſhe as a common
Enemy always wages War, and yet is ſo familiar,
that ſhe hath corrupted all the Servants of the Soul
to aſſiſt and favour her; the eyes conſent to the
entrance of her Beauty, the Ears are raviſhed with
her Voice, the hands attract her, the Lips whiſper
her name; the Tongue reſounds her praiſes, the
Breaſt fighs after her, and the Heart cloſes with her.
If ſhe be beautiful, others ſeek her, if ill favoured,
ſhe ſeeks others, and had not Heaven provided that
beauty ſhould be the ordinary Throne
Tbe Throne of of Folly, there would not have re-
Folly. mained a Man with breath, if liberty
be eſteemed the formality of life. O!
how amazed Critilo endeavoured to deliver deceived
Andrenio, but with ſmall ſucceſs and advantage to ei-
ther.For Andrenio departed blind to ſeek light at the
Houſe of Fire and Flames, he conſulted not firſt
with Critilo, fearing his ſevere life would prevent
him; wherefore guided only by a filly Page, he
walked ſometime through turnings and windings of
many Streets diſcourſing in this manner, My Lady
laid
The Spaniſh Critick:
211
ſaid the Boy, the honeſt falſe Syrena lives retired
from the World, eſtranged from the Tumults of the
Court, which is a life ſhechuſes both as moſt agree-
able to her melancholy humour,and as moſt healthful
and pleaſant, whilſt ſe diverts her ſelf in the ſweet
Air of the Country, and in her chearful Gardens.
At laſt they came to a houſe which in outward ap-
pearance promiſed no great commodiouſneſs, much
leſs magnificence, which took much off from the
expectation of Andrenio, and at the beginning dil
pleaſed him: but as ſoon as he entred in, he feem-
ed to have been enwrapped into the Palace of Au-
rora, for the entrance was firſt into an open Court,
a capacious Theatre of Miraculous appearan-
čes, and the Houſe quiet, and ſtill, without noiſe,
or diſturbance; Inſtead of firm Atlantes the Pillars
to ſupport it, the Court was encircled with beauti-
ful Nymphs molt artificially worked, and engraved,
bearing on their tender ſhoulders a Heaven crown.
ed with Seraphims, but not with Stars; in the centre
or middle ſpouted a pleaſant Fountain , emitting
ſucceſſively Flames and Water; it was made in the
form of a Cupid, attended on by the
Graceș, and by their Hands ſupplied Love d’eeping
with Darts, which continually ſhot a burns,
ſcorching Shower both of water and
Fire: Theſe Flouds paſt continually through Pipes
of Alablaſter as white as Snow, and gliding ſwittly
along, one part of the Stream ſeemed to purſue the
other, murmuring afterwards at thoſe whom at their
firſt ſource their bubling Voice ſeemed to flatter.
At the end of the Court ſtood a green Cypreſs,
which appeared beautiful to a curious Eye; its
Bowes were more luxuriant then fruitful, all Flower
and Bloſſom, but nothing came to maturity, nor pro-
Q
ved
212
The Spaniſh Critick.
ved correſpondent to the preceding hopes : It wa
encircled with deliglitful Flowers, which ſent forth
odours of a ſtrong fragrancy. The Birds alſo
ſeemed to bid him welcome, and a gentle breath of
Air whiſtling through the Trees, joined in confort
with the Birds. All which he eſteemed as happy
omens and courteous ſalutations to bid him welcome,
or indeed rather to bid him farewel. The Garden
was fitted to nouriſh penſive thoughts, for whoſoever
walked in it, fell into melancholy and deep imagi-
nations. Andrenio went ſtill toward the pleaſures,
and delights of the middle, where the Spring ſtood
Spinning Flax into Jaſmines, I mean thevain Venus of
this Cypreſs, for never was Cyprus
Cyprus and
without Venus. At his coming Fal-
Venus bave
firens went forth to meet him, and
the fame figni- counterfeiting a Sun in her ſmiles,
ucation.
and forming a Half-moon with her
Arms, encloſed him the Heaven of her Embraces.
sometimes ſhe chid him, anon ſhe ſpoke kindly,
often repeating, O Cofin ! O dear Andrenio! thou
art as welcome as defired;and as ſhe ſpake ſhe changed
her tone at every word, apd ſtringing Pearls thread
by thread, the twiſted and interweaved Fatſities.
How is it, faid' fhe, that having a houſe to folely
devoted to your ſervice you ſhould obſcure your
felf in an Inn; perhaps the poor entertainment you
may find here would move you nothing, yet the
obligations of Blood and Conſanguinity which I
have to you might invite you. I look on you, and
cannot but call to mind the beauteous Features of
your Mother in your Countenance ; in truth you
very much reſemble her,nor can I fufficiently wonder
that you ſhould be ſo ſtrange here, but I confider
that you are a Novice and a young Courtier. "Ma-
- dam,
SU
The Spaniſh Critick
213
are ,
dam, ſaid he , I muſt confeſs I am ſomething ama-
zed to hear you ſay, you are my Coſin, who am iga
norant of that Mother that brought me forth; nor
do I think my ſelf ungrateful or ſtupid in it, in dif-
owning them who neglected me ;I have none of my
Blood, nor Kindred, ſuch a Product, and Child í
am nothing; adviſe your ſelf, and conſider better,
if you may not probably miſtake me for ſome of a
more happy and fortunate condition. Alas, ſaid
fhe, Andrenio no, I know you well, know who you
that you were born in an Ille encempalled
with the waters of the greateſt Seas: I know very
well, that your Mother and my Auirt, and Miſtreſs,
O! how beautiful ſhe was, and therefore unforty-
nate, how modeſt and diſcreet a Lady, but how like
a Danae, ſhe eſcaped from Deceit, how like a He-
len in her flight, how like a Lucreria from violence,
and like an Europa from ſpoils ? Feli-
finda thus arriving here, for ſo was her Violences of
name of bleſſed memory, Andrenio
Andrenio Love.
was much moved to hear her named
for his Mother, who he had heard was the Wife of
Critilo: Which paſſion and change in him.uas well
obſerved by ine Tallirena, Andrenio urged much
to know the reaſon of this accident; for I have
heard oftentimes, ſaid he, of this Name. To which
ſhe replied, that you may know I do not lie, take
theſe particulars: Feliſinda was married with a
Gentleman as paſſionate in her love, as diſcreet,
who was priſoner in Goa, who yet at her depar-
ture carried him impreſſed on her Heart, and you
in her womb, as a Pawn and Pledge of her Matri-
monial Bed; but the time being expired, and her
Travels coming on her , brought forth you in an
Ide, giving heaven innumerable thanks, which had
Q.2
fo
2 14
The Spaniſh Critick.
!
fo providently preſerved both her credit, and fafe.
ty; neither would ſhe truſt her Maids the enemies of
ſecrelie, but committing her ſelf to the ſtrength of
her own Valour, and Honout, was the only Mid-
wife to bring you to light, and caſting you on the
Fath, more compa lionate then our own Bowels,
comınitted your helpleſs Body to the Mantles of
Grals, and to the protection of pious Heaven, which
was not deaf to her prayers, but provided you a
Nurſe, though a Beaſt, which was not the firſt
time, nor fhall be the laſt, that they as Subſtitutes
bave and ſhall ſupply Maternal abfence. Oh! how
often the bath told me this, with more tears then
words, by which one may eaſily perceive with how
much Paſſion ſhe related it. How much will ſhe re-
joice when ſhe ſees you, and in what manner will
ſhe now make amends for her unhumane cruelty,
to which once ſhe was compelled through the fence
of her Honour.
Andrenio was much amazed to hear the riddle of
his life thus expounded, and comparing theſe par-
ticular circumſtances with his former knowledge;
his tender diſpoſition cauſed him to burſt into tears,
and to diſolve his heart into drops through the
conduct of his eyes. Let us leave off, faid the
leave off the thoughts of paſt ſorrows,
Trarse ale sore and let not antient griefs recover a
new force to oppreſs your heart ;
let us go up, ſee my poor , but now
only happy Cottage: bring us a Banquet, and Col-
lation, for in this houſe never can want a kind en-
tertainment: Thus we may now fancy them going
up the Stairs of Porphiry, or of the Perfidious;
but we ſhall foon find them coming down with eyes
like Cats, grown dim at the Rayes of the Sun in
TODO.
his
The Spaniſh Critick. 215
his brighteſt Sphear, and winking at the Moon in
her ſeveral Changes : Every Room was obſerved to
be ſquare, and well-ordered, the Roof of admi.
ralartifice, which reſembled a Heaven, at the ſight
of which many contemned the real glory of the cæ.
leſtial Stars. There were Manſions and Habitati-
ons for all times, and ſeaſons, even for thoſe that
are palled, and all rarely worked, and adorned ; the
continually told Andrenio all this is yours, as it is
mine. During this delitious Collation, the Graces
entertained him with Songs and Muſick, and the
Circes enchanted him. There is no way now, ſaid
The, Coſin," but you muſt ſtay here, and you ſhall
need to be.at no farther charge, then at the coſt of
your own pleaſure : order that your Portmantles be
brought hither, and though this Houſe ſhall furniſhi
you with all conveniencies, yet I would not have
you looſe any thing of your own; your ſelf ſhall
not need to go forth for any thing, for my Servants
Fall readily perforın your commands in bringing
hither your Baggage, and fatisfying the Reckoning
which is due in your Inn. It is neceſſary, replied
Andrenio, that I hhould go my ſelf, for know that I
am not alone, but the favour you do muſt be double
and be beſtowed on another beſides my ſelf, for í
muſt give an account of this to Critilo my Father.
How, to your father, who is he, ſaid Falfirena ?
I call him Father, who hath performed the office
of it, in being my Tutor; and if your Relation be
true, he is my natural Father, for he is the Husband
of Feliſinda, the Gentleman who was Priſoner in
Goa. Go, ſaid the Falfirena, go inſtantly, and ſtay
not one minute before you return, and bring Critilo
with you, for I will neither eat nor ſleep till I am
bleſed again with your return. Thus parted An-
Q3
drenio,
216
The Spaniſh Critick.
drenio, accompanied with the ſame Page, one of her
own Creatures, and her moſt faithful Spy: when
they were come to their Lodging, they found Critila
much troubled, and in a thouſand thoughts, but ſo
ſoon as Andrenio ſaw him, he caſt himſelf down at his
feet, kiſſing his hands, and ſaying, O Father! O
Tutor! for my very Heart and Mind tells me the
ſame. What Novelty is this, demanded Critilo?
You know, anſwered he, it is not ſtrange for me to
{tile yon ſo; for beſides thoſe antient obligations !
have to you, my Bloud cries now in my Veins, and
acknowledgeth you to be him, who begot me ; for
know, Sir, that you have not only given me my
be.
ing, but by your inſtructions have produced in me,
thoſe qualities which become a Man, and my Mother
is your Wife Feliſinda : This relation I received
from a Couſin, the Daughter of my Mothers Siſter,
and at this inſtant I am returned from her, to inform
you ſo much. What means this of Couſin, demand-
ed Critilo? this name ſounds not well to me. Why
not, faid Andrenia ? for ſhe is a Woman well-
faſhioned, and ſeems diſcreet, let us return to her,
where we ſhall hear again related this never unwel-
come Hiſtory. At this Critilo ſtood ſomething in
fufpence, and though he heard theſe particular cir-
cumſtances, yet he feared the many inventions and
artifices of the Court. Howſoever, as we all are,
þeing credulous of what he deſired, under pretence
of informing himſelf better, they both went to the
Houſe of Falfirena. It Teemed not now the ſame,
but ſomething better adorned, with a ſtate and
gracefulneſs that made the reſemblance of Heaven.
You are welcome, ſaid ſhe, Critilo. to this your
Houſe, whoſe want of being acquainted with it can
only be an excuſe for not honouring it before. My
Coulin,
.
1
The Spaniſh Critick.
217
Couſin, I believe hath already informed you of thoſe
mutual ties and obligations we have of Bloud, and
Kindred, and that his Mother and your Wife the
beautiful Feliſinda, was my Aunt, and Miſtreſs, to
whom I owe more for her courteous offices of friend-
hip, then on the ſcore and natural tie of Bloud:
I have ſufficiently felt the want of her, and already
bewailed it. At this Critilo ſtarted, and ſaid, Is he
dead then ? No, replied fhe, not ſo bad, for her
abſence is fufficient; her Parents are dead, princi-
pally cauſed by a diſcontent they took, to fee, that
amongſt ſo many Rivals, which ſtood in competiti-
on for her Beauty, her conſtancy to you, would give.
her leave to make choice of none. She afterwards,
under the charge and protection of that great Prince
Embaſſador now in Germany for this our Catholick
Monarch, went to accompany her Kinfwoman the
Marqucfs, with whom ſhe now lives happy, and
contented, and may God in his good time return
her again to us in ſafety: but I remained with my
Mother, her siſter, and though alone and thus de-
ferted, yet with ſufficient ſupport to maintain our
neceſlities both of Life, and Honour, but as misfor-
tunes come not alone, ſo I having firſt loſt her, foon
after, my grief having a little pauſe, 1 loſt my Mo-
ther too, whoſe death I partly believe was occa-
fioned by her abſence : My Kindred now remain-
ing are my only comfort, to all I owe duties of kind.
neſs, Vertue being my ſtudy, and my endeavour to
inherit the honor of my parents, as being one of
thoſe who owe moſt to the Piety, and good ex-
ample of their Anceſtors : This is my Houſe, but
hereafter no more to be named mine, but yours for
ever, as long as your life ſhall laſt, and may it be
as durable as Neftors. Let me now conduct you into
Q4
ſome
218 The Spaniſh Critick.
ſome of my Rooms, and chiefeſt Galleries, which
they found full of Roſes and Perfumes, all of them
were hung with admirable pieces and Pictures limb-
ed by the moſt artificial Pencils; in ſome of which
they ſaw deſcribed the Succeſs and Tragedies of
their own lives, which they with aſtoniſhment beheld,
admiring as well the Art as the plain Deſcription of
this unknown Hiſtory. Now not only Andrenio, but
alſo Critilo, was perſwaded of her affection, and of
the reality of that information ſhe gave them ; ſo
that making their excuſes with thankfulneſs, they
began to contrive the ſending for their Baggage
and amongſt that, fome precious Stones, which were
left of the ruines of Critilo's periſhed houſe; which
being brought, and they had over-viewed them, he
judged them a due Preſent for Ladies of Plcalure,
with whom he now drank in a full Cup to the health
of Falfirena; which Jewels after ſhe had much com-
mended for the luſtre, and perfections of them, ſhe
commanded ſome of her own to be brought, which
ſhe chearfully deſired him to enjoy ; but Critilo ra-
ther beſeeched her to keep his for him, and ſhe as
gracefully accepted the Profer. "Critilo ſtill fighed
for his loft Felifinda, and one day at Table propo-
ſed to make a journy into Germany; but Andrenio al-
ready enamoured and captivated with affection of
his Couſin, diverte: the diſcourſe, much diſpleaſed to
hear of his departure, and fne cunningly praiſed his
reſolution, but yet propounded difficulties, and ad-
tiſed him to prolong it, until a time of better con-
veniency. But there offering now an opportunity;
that he might be entred into the ſervice of the
great Phenix of Spain, which went to crown her ſelf
with the Eagle of the Empire, Andrénio had no far-
ther excufe, yet whilft he prepared for the Journy,
Fal.
The Spaniſh Critick
219
Falſirena made a motion of ſeeing the two Mira
cles of the World, the Eſcurial for Art, and Aran:
jueg for Nature, the paralel lines of the Sun of
Auſtria in his ſeveral times, and ſeaſons. But An-
drenio was ſo blind in his Paſſion, and his Eyes ſo
wholely darkned, that he had no light remaining
to ſee other curioſities of Art, or Nature: for the
Falfirena having bewitched hini, Critilo in vain uſed
perſwafions and reaſons for his departure, but at
laſt his ſight not only left him, but his hearing, and
from blind he became deaf alſo. In fine Critilo re.
folved, though unaccompanied to pay that juſt debt to
his curioſity, left afterwards he ſhould be troubled
he had not ſeen the high admiration of all, or his
fancy, and imagination check him for contemning
the light of the greateft Wonder in the
World. So that thither he went alone, Eſcurial.
though to admire for many. He received
in this great Temple of the Catholick Solomon, the
only Fabrick excelling the Hebrews glory; not only
a fatisfaction equal to his former thoughts, but an
amazement in exceſs : for there he ſaw the oftenta.
tion of Royal power, the triumph of Catholick
Piety, the perfection of Architecture reſtored; the
Pomp both of antient and modern curioſity, the
lalt eſſay of growing Art, and where Greatneſs.
Riches, and Magnificence concurred in one Centre
From hence he went to Aranjuez, the conſtant habi-
tation of the Spring, the Country of
Flora, her Arbour of Delight in all Aranjuez ore
Months of the year, the Preſervative of the King of
for Flowers; the Centre of Delights try Houſes.
Spain's cours
and Content: by both which Won-
ders, he remained with ſuch admiration imprinted
in him, as well ſufficient for his whole life to ad-
miniſter
220
The Spaniſh Critick.
miniſter matter of contemplation. From thence he re-
turned again to Madrid, much pleaſed to have ſatisfied
his curioſity, intending to lodge again in the Houſe
of Falſirena : but now he found it ſhut more cloſe
then a Treaſury, and more filent then a Deſert: his
impatient Servant knocked often at the door and the
found of every ſtroak made an Eccho in the heart
of Critilo. The Neighbors being diſturbed with the
continued noiſe, bid them not trouble themſelves any
more, for there lived none, they all were dead. Cri
silo ſtartling at that, replied, Did there not live
a principal Lady here, whom not many days ago I
left well, and in good health? One hearing him ſay
Good, laught. Pardon me, ſaid he, I do not believe
it, nor is ſhe a perſon of good quality, added an-
other, who conſumes her time in youthful plea-
ſures. Nor yet a Woman, ſaid a third, but a Har-
py, and the worſt Woman of this worſt and preſent
age.
Gritilo could ſcarce perſwade himſelf what
he deſired not to hear, but turned back again to de-
mand if Falſirena dwelt not thère : But in the mean
time one came to him, and told him, that he ſhould
not trouble himſelf; for it was true that not many
days ago, there was one dwelt there; a Circes,
and a Syren, for her Enchantments, and one that
could raiſe Tempefts, and vexatious Storms; for
belides that, ſhe was wicked, and dulotute, The was
a Tamouş Witch, a renowned Enchantreſs having
the power to metamorphoſe Men out of their own
Ihapes into that of Brutes, and particularly into
Alles, not of Gold, but of their own Folly and Po.
verty. In the Streets of this Court walk thouſands
converted into ſhapes, not humane, becauſe abuſed
with
1
The Spaniſh Critick.
221
with all kind of beaſtly affections. That which I
can aſſure you for truth is, that in thoſe few days I
have been an Inhabitant here, I have ſeen many en-
ter in, but none go out, and in as much as this Sy
ren is half a * Fiſh, ſhe fiſheth away
their Wealth and Livelihood from all A Marcmaid.
that know her; their Jewels, Cloaths,
Liberty, Honour, and that her Frauds may not be
diſcovered, ſhe changes every day. I do not mean
her conditions, nor cuſtoms, but her place and reſi
dence, leaping from one end of the Town unto an-
other; that it is impoſſible to have the leaſt hopes
to find her : Another trick ſhe hath, being the com-
paſs by which ſhe ſteers the courſe of her Policies
and that is, that when a Forraigner comes rich
and wealthy, ſhe preſently informs her ſelf, who he
įs, and from whence and to what purpoſe he came,
endeavouring to know the particulars of his Name,
and Family,
and ſo accordingly calls her ſelf by the
name of Couſin, or Siſter, and gives her ſelf ſome
Appellations of their Houſe, and Family; ſhe changes
as often Names, as Places, ſometimes ſhe is Cicilia,
anon Sirena, Ines, Tereſa, Tomasa, Quiteria : and with
theſe Arts the deſtroys and ruines others, but tri-
umphs her ſelf, and grows rich with the ſpoils; but
Critilo could not ſatisfie himſelf, with the belief of
theſe Stories, and therefore deſirous to enter in
demanded if the Key were at hand. Yes, anſwered
one, I have it committed to me in courteſie to ad
mit thoſe in, who come to ſee it. With that he
opened it, which when they had entered: This.
faid Critilo, is not the Houſe, ot I am blind; the
other was a Palace. It is true replied he, whilft it
was enchanted, and the moſt of this nature are ſo
ia
Here
c
The Spaniſh, Critick.
***
Here are no Gardens, but heaps of Moral filth ,
the Fountains are become gutters, and finks to con-
vey ordure and corruption, and the ſtatelieſt Rooms
åre but Sties,and neſts of uncleanneſs
. Hath this Sy-
ren fiſht any thing from you? tell us the truth. I
muſt confeſs yes, ſome Jewels, Pearls, Diamonds; but
what I am molt ſenſible of, is the loſs of a friend, i
know not whether moſt by her fault, or his wilful
obſtinacy, or whether in the form of a Beaſt, fold
to his own own Luſts, he wanders through this City.
O my Andrenio! ſaid he, fighing, where art thou?
He fought him in every houſe, which gave occaſion
of Mirth to ſome, but to himſelf of Sorrow, and
ſo taking his leave of them, he retired to his former
Lodgings.
He gave a thouſand turns through the Court,
and none could give any account or advice con-
terning him ; for of a good, and happy ſucceſs
there are but few informers, he having with dili-
ģence broken his Brains, and drained his wits to
diſcover him, at laſt he reſolved to return again,
and conſult with Artemia,and ſo he de.
Tbe Sixıb parted from Madrid, according to
Cuſtom, poor, deceived, repenting
and melancholy. He had not gone
får, before he met with a Man of a far different dif-
poſition then thoſe that he had hicherto ſeen
he ſeemed to be a ſtrange Prodigy of Nature, for he
had Tix Sences,one more then ordinarily Men are én-
dded with. This was a Novelty to Critilo, for ma-
ny with leſs then fite he had ſeen, but none with
more; Some there are without eyes that ſee not
clearly, but grope in the dark, ſtumble againſt
Block's, and yet trever fácken their pace, not knowing
where they go. There are ſome that are deaf to
words,
3
Sence.
1
The Spaniſh Critick. 223
words, and capable of nothing but the ſound of
air, of noiſe, of flattery, vanity, and falſity; there
are ſome who have no ſmell, and leaſt of any, ſmell
out the favour of their own Houſes at home, whilſt
all the World beſides receives it hot in their Noſtrils,
and thoſe whoin it leait concerns, have the ſtrongeſt
Sent of it; Theſe ſenſleſs Animals are ſtuft in their
Heads againſt the Smells of a good repute, either
of their own, or that of their enemies, and having
Noſes only to wind the ſent of ſmall Punctilio's of
Honour, are not touched with the fragrancy which
proceeds from the perfume of true Vertue: There
are ſome alſo without any kind of Taſte, diſreliſh-
ing all things of ſubſtance and wholeſome Nutri-
ment, and are diſtaſteful in their Society; others
being unfavoury to them, as they are to others:
Another thing they hinted, which was very obſer-
vable, that he had met with many, and thoſe he
could nominate who had no feeling, and leaſt in
their hands, where that fence commonly is moſt
tender ; for they handle not their affairs firſt, and
make tryal before they proceed; but being hurried
with a certain eagerneſs, their hands neither pon-
derate their actions, nor their reaſon compares them
with former examples. But he whom Critila thus
occaſionally met, was one different to all others
for beſides thoſe five Senſés which were moſt acute
and vigorous in him, he had another Senſe, which
was more advantageous then all the reſt, for it
is that which gives life to Men, and awakens them
to diſcourſe, and ſearches out the moſt hidden fe-
ereſie, contrives, invents remedies, gives us tongues,
with confidence to ſpeak, feet to run, and wings to
fy, and a prophetick ſpirit to divine future acci-
dents; and this is neceſſity, it is a thing very admi
rable
224
The Spaniſh Critick.
rable and uſeful, for though the Object wants, yet
the defect is fupplyed by the ingenuity it begets:
it is witty, inventive,cautious, active; acute, and is
a Sence which for its excellency hath preheminency
over all the others.
Critilo had no ſooner this knowledge of him, but
how well, ſaid he, may you and I join in company
together; I am glad I have met with you, and though
misfortunes do uſually attend me, yet now I ac-
count my ſelf happy, and ſo related to him the
whole ſtory of the misfortune which had befallen
him in the Court. I believe you, ſaid Egenio, for ſo
was both his naine, and nature, and though my
Journy is to the Grand Fair of the World, pub-
liſhed on the Confines of Youth, and Manly age,
the great Gate of Life; yet to ſerve you, let us go
to the Court, where I will employ all my lix Sences
in ſearch of him, and whether Man or Beaſt !
make no doubt, but to diſcover him: ſo having entred
in, they fought him with all attention ; firit on the
Theaters, and amongſt the Comedians, in the com-
moneſt Streets, in the openeſt Markets, where they
met great Mules tailed one to the other, every one
followed treading on the heels of him that went
before; their Baskets were ſo laden with Gold and
Silver, that they groaned under their Burden, their
Sumpter-Cloaths were fringed with Gold, and Silk,
and ſome of theſe wore Plumes of Feathers on their
Heads, being oftentimes the Trap-
rbe Nobility, pings of Beaſts, and their Pectorals
of Gold made a gingling as they
moved. He may be ſome of theſe, faid Critilo.
No, replyed Egenio, for theſe are, I mean, have
been great Men, on whoſe backs the heavy Burderis
of the Commonwealth have been laden; and though
you
{
The Spaniſh Critick.
225
Idle Praters.
jou
now ſee them gallantly adorned, yet take but :
off their rich Saddles, and you ſhall diſcover their
backs fo galled and feſtered, that there is ſcarce a
place free from the Boyles of Vice. See if he be
amongſt any of theſe Country people, who drag
and draw the Cart with creaking Wheels. Nor
none of theſe neither , for theſe caſt their eyes
downward, having no thoughts of Honour, and
therefore contentedly ſuffer. See yonder is a Parrot
which calls us, perhaps it may be he. No, no,
don't give ear to his call, for this is but a Flatterer,
which never meant what he ſpeaks. There is a
kind of a Politician of this ſort, that hath one thing
in his Beak, and another in his Heart;
a Prater which only repeats the words
of others, that imitates Men, but is
not fuch, and goes clad like a Parrot all in green,
expects to receive the reward of Jeſts, and accor-
dingly receives it in earneſt; nor doth this formal
Cat ſeem to be he which hides his Claws and ſhows
his Beard. There are many, ſaid Egenio, of this
fort who lie at the catch, and ſtrike not only at
open, but at ſecret and guarded evils; but to judge
rightly, we may call theſe Men of the Pen ; and
that old Dog which ſtands barking yonder, What
is he? He is a bad Neighbor, one
A Back biter.
who never ſpake well of any, he is
emulous, of a bad intention, melan-
choly, and that paſſes for one of the ſeventy. I
know he cannot be that Baboon which makes mi-
mical Faces, and ſcrews himſelf in fo various poſtures
in yonder Balcony: O he is a grand Hypocrite!
who would feem, and only imitate good Manners,
and Piety of the Religious, and yet is not fo; he
may be ſome grave Accountant, or ſome Licenciado;
fome
26 The Spaniſh Critick.
Iyons are kept. Lions and Tigers of the Retiro, for
fame Clerk, or Writer of Burleſque; and being a
Man always in jeſt, never deals in earneſt, but is
made
up all of Aaſhes, and little ſub-
A place where ſtance. Nor can he be amongſt the
thafe are a People made up of Pro-
celles, Writs, and Executions. · Nor yet is he a-
mongſt the Swans in this Pond: for thoſe are Scrive-
ners and Lawyers, Men of the Quill. Yonder I ſee
an unclean Bealt prodigally wallowing in the Mire of
his own beaſtly Appetite, which he calls and believes
to be Flowers. if it be any it muſt be he, replied
Égenio, for theſe are the Unclean and Laſcivious,
who are ſo choaked in the filth of
Diſhoneft. their own vile Delights, that whoſo-
ever ſees them, does abhor and abo-
minate them, and theſe think the Mire to be Heaven,
and ſmell not the ill ſavour which proceeds from the
Putrifaction of the World, which they eſteem to be
a Perfume, and a fragrant odour, far excelling the
ſweetneſs of Paradice, let me ſee if this be he. No,
no, it is not he, but a Wretch whoſe Riches and
pampered Body, ſhall at his death make a joyful day
for his Heirs, and feaſt for the Worms. Is it pol-
lible, complained Critilo, we cannot find him amongſt
all theſe Brutes we have ſeen, nor amongſt theſe
many Droves we have encountred ? Neither
drawing the Coach of the Harlot, nor carrying the
Chair of one greater and heavier then he; nor is it he
who ſits in his Litter in falfe Latin,and out of it ſcarce
in good' Spaniſh, or that Pack-horſe of corrupted
Cuftoms. "Is it poſſible theſe Circer ſhould disfigure
and diſguiſe a Man in this manner? Thus may Sons
beguile their Fathers, and make them mad with
jealouſie that they are not their own, who are not
content
The Spanish Critick. 227
content only to ftripthem of the Garments of their
Bodics, but of thoſe alfo of their Mind, degrading
them of the very formality and eſſence of Man:
But tell me Egenio when we find him thus changed
into a Beaſt, how can we reduce him him again, and
teſtote him to his former condition and ſhape of
Man? When we have found him, replied he, the
buſineſs will not be difficult, for ſome have perfecta
ly recovered and become themſelves, though others
have always retained ſome tainture and favour of
their former condition: Apülejus was
worſe then any, yet with the Role of Apulejus.
Silence, an admirable Medicine againſt
Folly was recovered of his infirmity: for material
pleaſures being well ruminated, and our own cor-
ruptions conſidered, it is a ſoveraign means to take
off the mask which makes them appear amiable.
The Companions of Vlyfies were metamorphos'din-
to Beaſts, and with taſting the bitter Root of the
Tree of Vertue, recovered the ſweet Fruit of Hu-
manity. We will give him ſome Leaves pluckt from
the Tree of Minerva, which are planted and high-
ly eſteemed in the Garden of the courtly and learn,
ed Duke of Orleance; and if not, we will give
him fome leaves of the moral Sage you know
of, and I am ſure it will prove an infallible remedy to
bring him to himſelf, and to reſtore his folt Reaſon.
They having thus given a hundred turns with
more pains then fucceſs, at Yalt, ſaid Egenio, I have
conſidered of a better device; fet us go to the
fame houſe where he was laſt, and perhaps, raking
there among the fifth and ruines of itz, we may
find this toit Jewe!: ſo thither they went, ente
in, and fought him with much diligence. This iş
brig lek timc, faid Egenio
, for already I have nar-
R
rowly
..
228
The Spaniſh Critick.
rowly ſearched that place. But hold, ſaid Egenin,
let me apply my ſixth Sence, which is the only re-
medy in this condition. And now he obſerved that
from one great heap of laſcivious filth proceeded a
Smoak very thick. Here, laid he, is fire, and re-
moving ſome moral Rubbiſh and Uncleanneſs, there
appeared the Door of a horrid Cave, which when
they had opened with ſome difficulty, they ſaw by
a confuſed twilight of infernal Flames, many dil-
animate Bodies ſtretched out in the Coffins of their
Senſualities. There were ſome young Gallants as
ſhallow and ſhort-witted, as they were long haired j
ſome alſo learned Men, but Fools, rich old Uſu-
ters, whoſe Eyes, though open, yet law nothing ;
for ſome blinded them with a Linnen Napkin caſt
about their Eyes ; fome had no other life then what
they gave ſigns by their Sighs and Groans.
In fine, all were frantick, a ſleep, and naked, no
not a Rag left them to make a Winding-ſheet,where-
in to bury their inanimate Bodies. In the midft of
theſe lay Andrenio fo changed and disigured that
His Father Critilo Toarce knew him. But then he
cale nimelt upon him and wept, and called aloud
to his deaf ears; his Hands were as cold as Clay,
no Pulſe beating, nor any ſymptoms of Breath or
Life. Egenio obſerved that that dim Light, which
was not the light of a Torch, but of a Hand
pro-
ceeding out of a Wall, which though pale and cold,
was yet adorned with Bracelets of Pearl, purchaſed
with the the Sighs and Tears of many: the Fina
gers, which were ringed with Diamonds, bought
with Falſity, burned like Tapers, though they gave
not ſo bright a luſtre, as that Fire which ſcorched
and conſumed their Bowels. What had mans hand
is this, ſaid Critilo, one that was hanged ? No, re
plied
han who
1
The Spaniſh Critick. 249
plied Egenio, of the Hangmans rather, which dem
Itroys, itrangles, and ſtifles Breath: They had no
fooner removed this a little away, but ſuddenly they
began to revive ; for whilſt this did burn, their
ſleep was ſo profound, that there was no pollibility
to awake them. They endeavoured to extinguiſh
it with Water, but could not, for this is the fire of
Naptha, blown by the blaſts of amorous fighs, and
is more entamed by the water of tears, but the
way is to caſt duſt and earth upon it; for Fire, though
as violent as the infernal is ſmothered by it. This be-
ing done they all awaked, and every one hegan im-
mediately to excuſe the fault which had brought hiin
into that Lethargy: the graver fort much aſhamed
alledged that the diſeaſe was epidemical, and that
theſe flames of uncleannefs were not only nouriſh-
ed in dry Fuel, but in the fappy moiſture of greener
Sprouts, the Juditious exclaimed againſt their own
folly, and that Paris in affront to Pallus, was young
and ignorant; the Diſcreet called it a double mad-
nels. Andrenio amongſt the Benjamites, or young-
er Sons of Venus , had a Dart pierced through his
Heart ; and now ſeeing and acknowledging, Critilo
went towards hîm; What do you think now 2 ſaid
lie. How well hạth this wicked Woman treated
you ? in teaving you without Eſtate, Health Ho-
nour, Conſcience,
hereafter by experience. To dear-
ly bought, you will give both credit to my words,
and add caution to your ſelf. With that they all
unanimouſly began to exclaim againſt her; ſome
called her the Cyla of Ivory , others the Caribdis of
Emerods; a painted Peſtilence , Poiſon in Nečiar.
Where there are Reeds, ſaid one, there is Water,
where is Smoak, there is Fire, where evil Women
are Devils. There is no greater Evil then a falle
R2
Woman,
1230 The Spaniſh Critick.
Woman, ſaid an experienced Don, except it be two,
for then it is double. There is enough coinprehended
m this, faid Critilo, that they are witty in nothing
but in Evil. To which Andrenio replied, that he
muſt ingeniouſly confefs, that notwithſtanding all
this Evil they had caft upon him, he could neither
abhor nor forget them; for I aſſure you, of all thoſe
excellencies the World boaſts of, as Gold, silver,
Stones, Palaces, Gardens, Flowers, Birds, Stars
Moon, and Sun it felf, there is none of that Beau-
ty to me as the Woman; nor can Heaven it ſelf
afford me more happy bliſs and felicity then one of
the Female Sex, that is amiable in her Counte-
nance, and kind in her Embraces to me.
Theſe are lofty expreſſions, ſaid Egenio, but let us
from hence, our time here is mifpent, and thoſe
Invectives I have to utter againſt a falſe Woman,
are ſuch, that our time is too ſhort to'vent them :
So we will double down the Leaf for our diſcourſe in
the way. In this manner they all went forth and pro-
ceeded to the Light diſguiſed to others, but better
known to themſelves, to viſit the Temple of their
own amazement, there to render thanks to unde-
ceiving Light, hanging upon her Walls the Spoils of
their Shipwrack and the Chains of their Captivity.
go
The
25*
th N
May
A
Solor, i886
the 1
ga
The
*
A
3
The Spaniſh Critick.
231
The Thirteenth Crisis.
The General Fair of the Worldo
I
T it a report of antient times, that when God
created Man, he impriſoned the licentious na-
ture of Evils in a profound Abyſs, which ſome ſay
was in the fortunate Ilands and from thence they take
their Name and Appellation; for there he reſtrained
the exorbitancy of Crimes and Troubles, Vice, & Pu-
niſhment, War, Famine, Peſtilence, Infamy, Sadnels,
and the very fangs and Torments of Death it ſelf.
Theſe he linked and chained one within angther
and not truſting to theſe vile Canalia, made a Gate
of ſolid Diamond, which he hut with a Padlock
of Steel, the Key thereof he delivered to Man's
Free-Will, to make his Enemy the more ſure, gi-
ving him to underſtand that unleſs he opened the
door, they could never eſcape out to all Eternity.
Contrariwiſe he gave freedom to all other good
things in this World, namely to Felicities, Vertue
Content, Peace, Honour, Health, Riches, and Life
it ſelf, permitting them to walk and range the World
as they pleaſed; fo Man lived happily till the Wa
man, moved out of her own curious Fancy, was
impatient to diſcover what was contained in that
fatal
R3
230 The Spaniſh Critick.
fatal Cavern; ſo that one day taking Man in an
amorous humour by her Careſſes and Embraces, ſhe
hugged from him his Heart; and with that the Key;
which ſhe no ſooner obtained, but without farther
conſideration, ſhe rafhly ſet her hand to open the
Priſon, where Evils were encloſed.' The Rey was
no ſooner put into the Hole of the Lock, but the
Univerſe trembled, and the bolt thruſt back, out
came a Floud of Evils, which crowding in multi-
tudes, flew like a whịrl-wind through the whole cir-
cumference of the World. Pride the Captain of
the Band took the Front, and met
$pair..
with Spain the firſt Province of Eu-
rope and finding it a place agreeable to
its humour, reſolved to take up lis habitation there,
where he now lives and reigns, ſet in the ſame
Throne of his Kindred, ſelf-eſtimation, contempt
of others, deſire of ſovereignty, and to be com-
manded by none. Much is he pleaſed to be ſtiled
Don Diego, and to boaſt his Lineage and Bloud from
the Goths, to make great oſtentation to praiſe him-
ſelf, to ſpeak high and hoarſe, and that with gra-
vity, diſdain, action, and with all kind of pre-
ſumption, which is not an affectation only of the
Nobility, but an humour conion to every Plebeian.
Covetouſneſs overtaking Pride , and
finding Frasce in the hands of none,
poffeft it ſelf of it, from Gaſcoigne to
Picardy. Its beggerly Family ſpread miſery in eve-
fy part, a baſe ignobleneſs of mind, and a ſervile
diſpoſition fit to be made the Slaves of other Nations,
who apply themſelves to vile and mean Offices, ſel-
ling their felves to bondage for Intereſt; their toilal-
gyays laborious, their bodies naked, their feet unſho'd,
unleſs
France.
The Spaniſh Critick. 233
* Woodex
unleſs with * Sabots, all Workman-
manſhip being cheap by the multi-
tude of ſuch Slaves. In fine, a dif Clogs.
poſition to commit the moſt baſe and
vile attempts for Mony, that it may well be ſaid
that Fortune, compallionate of their low Spirits,
made ſome recompence for the common bareneſs
in the rare Endowments of their Nobility, who lo
much differ in excellency from the vulgar people,
that they are become two Extremes, without a
Middle. Deceit palled into Italy, ta-
king deep Root in the Italians Brcaſts. Italy.
In Naples for their Words, In Genoua
for thir Dealing; for in that whole Country is the
Army and Kindred of Falſity numerous and ſtrong;
Deceit, Artifices, Inventions, Plots, Treaſons, all
which they ſtile the effects of honeſt Policy, the
order and good management of a profound Brain.
Anger took another courſe, and pal-
fed into Africk, and her adjacent līles, Africk.
being pleaſed with the fierce and
rug-
ged converſation of the Alarves, and African Mon
ſters. Gluttony with her Siſter Drunkenneſs (ex"
empting that pretious Margarite of
Valois ) hath devoured both upper Germany.
and lower Germany; for there they
fpend days and nights in luxurious Diet, their Eſtates
and Conſciences are drowned in their Bowles; and
though ſome are drunk but once, yet it is a conci-
nual intoxication their whole life; There Vices in
War devour Provinces, lay Fields waſte, and for
this reaſon Charles the Fifth compoſed the belly of
his Army of Germans. Inconſtancy
flew into England, Simplicity into Po• England.
lind, Inhdelity to Greece, Barbarīty
R4
int
*
...
F
*
.
234 The Spaniſh Critick.
su
into Turky, Craft into Moſcovia, Moroſity, into
Sweadland, Injuſtice into Tartary, Delicioulneſs in.
to Perſia, Cowardiſe into China, Ralhnels to Tupan,
and stoth coming late, found at places taken up be-
fore, and no room left, that ſo ſhe was for,
ced to paſs into America, and take up her habita.
tion amongſt the Indians. Luxury, that famous and
TETOWired piece of Gentility, as great, as powerful,
eſteeming the bounds of one Province too narrow
2 confinement, at laſt extended it ſelf thrcugh all
the World, filling it from one end unto the other;
and ſo incorporating it ſelf with other Vices, hath
taken ſo deep a root in every Nation, that it is
hard to be reſolved which part is moſt polluted
with this growing infection. Woman being the
firſt ſubject which
Evils encountred, made her their
árff Prey, and from head to foot ſwelled her with
the Venom of Malice. This was the diſcourſe Ege-
mio uſed to his two Companions, after he had con-
ducted them out of the Court, by the Gate of
Light, which was of the Sun, to
Puerta del þring them to the grand fair of the
Sol or the
World, publiſhed in the great Em.
Gate of the
pire which divides the pleaſant Mea-
Jun, which is
one of the dows of Youth, from the ruff and
Gates of Ma-
rugged' Mountains of Manly age,
drid. where multitudes of people flock to
buy and ſell, fome ſuch as the moſt
diſcreet came only to fee and obſerve the conditi-
ons of the vulgar; they entred through the broad
path of convenience, the univerſal Garden of plea-
ſure and contentment; ſome praiſing what others ab-
horred, as ſoon as they ſet footing on one of theſe
entrances, for many there were, came two prating
Sophiſters, which they called Philoſophers, one of
one
The Spaniſh Critick.
235
one Sect, and the other of another; for all men
are divided into ſeveral opinions, and every head
begets a fancy like his own Brain. Socrates invited
them ( for ſo the firſt was called) to one part of
the Fair, where thoſe Commodities were ſold which
moſt conduced to accompliſh a Man, and to enrich
him with the Treaſury of unperiſhable Vertue;
But Simonides (for ſo the other was named told
them, that all the Merchandizes of the World were
reduceable into two Claſſes, Honour,
and Profit; Honour was always full Interest.
of Vapour and Smoak, and empty of
Subſtance, or Solidity; but the other was an inex.
hauſtible Mine of Gold, the Coffer of Riches, and
a Compendium of all Worldly advantages. This
I profeſs to you, but the choice I leave to your
own Arbitrement. Theſe different offers greatly per.
plexed their friends which way they ſhould incline,
their opinions being as diſagrecable as their humours;
and as they were thus divided, came a Man to
decide the difference; in his hand he brought a piece
of Gold, with which he rubbed theirs, pretending
to know them thereby. What doth this man mean,
ſaid Andrenio, I am, replied he, the cunning Cri-
tick in judging Mens affections, the Touch-Itone of
their Humours. How , ſaid Andrenie; the Touch-
ſtone? This it is, ſaid he, ſhewing him the Gold.
That is a ſtrange Touch-ſtone, ſaid Andrenio, for
it is the Gold that is tryed, rather then the Stone.
It is true, ſaid he, but the Touch-ſtone of Men is
Gold, and thoſe to whoſe hands it cleaves, are not
true, but falſe Men : So that a Judge to whoſe
clammy Palm the Gold ſticks, we preſently condemn
him for a tryed Man and diſinis him from his Bench
of Judicature. That Prelate that hoards his Fifty
chou
236
The Spaniſh Critick.
1
thouſand Dollars rent, is not ſo much to be eſteem.
cd golden Mouthed, for his Pious and florid Ser.
mons, as his Cheſt is for the Treaſure it amaſſes.
That Officer that ſtruts in his Gold lace, and is clin-
cant, and Vapours in his Plames of Feathers, ſhews
that he hath diſplumed his Soldiers, and doth not
fuccour thern like the valiant Borgonon D. Claudius
Mauricius. That Cavalier who Rubricks his Exe-
cutions with the Bloud he hath drawn by the inſtru-
ment of extorriod" from the Poor, is indeed no
Gentleman. When the Wife goes gallant, and
the Husband poor, it breeds ſuſpition. In fine, all
theſe whore hands are not clean, nor well wiped
from the clammy Birdlime of Intereſt, cannot be
Men of honeft integrity. And ſo you, pointing to
Andrenio, to whoſe Palms Gold will ſtick, and leave
its impreſſion, paſs over to this fide. But he,
pointing to Critilo, who hath not that clammy
Palm, nor hath the print of Coin on his Fingers
ends let him turn up by this way of Integrity.
But that he allo , replied Critilo, meaning Andre-
nie, may do the ſame, it is neceſſary I ſhould fol-
low him.
And thus going forward, they began their diſ-
courſe by the rich Shops on the right hand, where
they read an Inſcription, Here is ſold the beſt and
worſt, and going in, they found that they were
Tongues. the best were thoſe that held filence
which they bic between their Teeth, and fixed to
the roof of their Palate; and a little farther ſtood a
Man making ſigns that they fhould be ſilent, fo far
he was from crying his Merchandiſe. What is it
this Man ſells, Taid Andrenia, and with that the
Setrer clapt nis Fingers to his Mouth. How fall
we know in this manner what it is you tell? Wich-
.)
out
The Spaniſh Critick
237
out doubt, ſaid Egenio, he ſells ſilence: It is a Mer
chandize
rare and important, ſaid Critika Ithought
the wrote ftore had been ſpent in former times, or
that it was a drug now, and in no demand. This
Commodity is brought from Venice, eſpecially Se-
creſie, which is a Fruit that theſe
Secrefie. parts do not produce. Who is it then
that ſpends it? This, replicd An-
dronio, is a Cominodity for melancholy Herinites
Anchorites, and Monks, who only know the uſe of
it, and fuck from it their beſt advantage. For my
part, ſaid Critilo, I believe the moſt that uſe this,
are generally, not the good, but the bad. For the
diſhoneſt conccal their ſin, the Adulterers diſſemble
their Uncleanneſs, the Allallinate.covers his Cruel-
ty, the Thief enters with the ſilent ſteps of his
Woollen Socks. In fine, Sin as alhamed of it ſelf,
arrives not to that Impudence, as to blow a Trum-
pet before it, but treads ſoftly, ſpeaks not high
and goes vailed in all its Enterprizes: But the World
is changed now, replied Egenio, and this age is ar-
rived to that pitch of impudence, that thoſe who
Thould be ſilent ſpeak moſt, and the debauched per-
fon boaſts in the number of his iniquitjes. You
Thall ſee another, whoſe Nobility is diſgraced by hiş
unſeemly Carriage, and whoſe laſcivious paſtimes
give him but ſmall content, unleſs they appear iin,
pudent and ſhameleſs in the face of the World. The
Fencer who plays Prizes, is proud of the many
Scars in his face. The amorous Boy is pleaſed to
have his Locks and Features commended. The dif
folute Wife neglects her Houſhold affairs, only to
dreſs her Face. The Thief is not aſhamed of the
Gallows, and the:Ambitious pleads for -a Title to
qafcribe over the liſt of his bale Anceſtors. In this
manner
238
The Spaniſh Critick.
manner we ſee the worſt and moſt wicked, are
thoſe who in the World make the greateſt noiſe and
biſtle. who then, Sirs, are thoſe who buy? he that
acts and doth not speak; he who performs his Em-
ployment, and Tays nothing, is like Harpocra-
tes, who never incurred the cenſure of any." Let
his know the Price, ſaid Critilo , for I would buy
fome quantity, for perhaps this Commodity is not
to be afforded in another place. The Price, reply-
ed they of Silence, is Silence alſo, how can this be?
For if that which is fold, is Silence, how can the
Price be ſatisfied with the like return ? Very well,
for the benefit of ones Silence is repayed with that
of anothers; for one replies not, becauſe the
other ſpeaks not, and all ſay do you be quiet,
and we ſhall be ſilent. Then they paſſed
hence to an Apothecaries Shop, where there was an
Inſcription written Here is ſold the Quintesence of
Healtb; a thing, ſaid Critilo, of no lmall Excel-
lenice, ſo that he was importunate to know, what
It iras, which they told him was the Spittle of ones
Enemy. This, laid he, I ſhould rather call the
Quinteſſence of Poiſon, being more mortal and vez
heinous, then the foam of the Baſilisk: for I ſhould
rather a Toad fhould ſpit on me, a Scorpion ſting
me, a Viper bite me, then to be beſpattered with
the Froth of an enraged Enemy. The Spittle of a
faithful and trúc Friend is Balſamick, and the only
Remedy to cure our Infirmities. You do not yet
well underſtand me, ſaid Egenio, for the fiartery of a
Friend is a more dangerous Charm ; that Pallion by
tvhich he encourages our faults, that affection by
which he diffembles our infirmities, and perſwades
as that our Eſtate is better then it is, haftens his
Friend who is ſick with the aboundant humours of
his fins into the Grave of his deſtruction. Believe
me
The Spaniſh Critick. 239
me a true cenſure will better advantage him, though
diſtilled from a bitter Potion which an enany ad-
miniſters, for that ſcowers out the ſpots of his Ho-
nour and Repucation, and cleapſeth the ſtains of
Fame; for as it takes off the acrimony of the envi-
ous from us, ſo it keeps us conſtant and cloſe to
the line and point of Vertue and Realon. After
this ſome others called them to another Shop in
great haſte, for the Merchandize was almolt all
fold and exhauſted, and that was Truth, and this was
the only time to buy it Of which asking the Price,
they told them, it was now given freely, but here:
after the ſmalleſt quantity would be ineſtimable
and not to be fold, though we would buy it with
our deareſt ſight. Another cryed out heartily to
come and buy, for the longer they ſtayed, the more
they loſt, a Commodity which could never be pur-
chaſed hereafter, and no Price could redeemlir, and
that was Tíme. Another cryed his Ware, which
he Told for nothing, and the value great ; and that
was Admonition, a thing which Fools buy at their
own coſt, and the Wiſe at anothers. Where is
Experience fold, demanded Cricilo? a thing of an
ineſtimable value; and for that they directed him a
great way off, to the Shop of Years. And where
is that of Friendſhip,demanded Andrenio? This is not
bought, faid they, though many fell it: but bought
friends are not indeed ſuch, nor are they worth any
thing. In Letters of Gold in another place,was wrote,
Here are ſold all things, and that for Nothing : Here
I will go in, ſaid Critilo: but there they found the
Merchant ſo poor, that he was totally naked and
ſtripped of all, forſaken, and nothing in his Shop;
ſo they asked how his Dealing was correfpondent
to his Motto ? Very well, replyed the Merchant
But
5
1
240
The Spaniſh Critick.
:
W
But how is it you ſell all things without Price? Yes,
by despiſing of them ſetting no value nor eſtimati-
on on them; for he who can over-rule himſelf, and
do thus, is Maſter of the World, embraces all in
his Arms, and he who contrariwiſe eſteems and
adores them, is rather the Slave and Servant, then
Mafter of them. Hard by was wrote, He who
gives to another, beſtows on himſelf, and thoſe who re-
ceive are obliged by the Gift. This they
Courtefie.
ſuppoſed to be Courteſie, and civil
reſpect which honours all the World.
Here is ſold, cryed another, that which is every.
Mans own, and not anothers. This is not much,
faid Andrenio. Yes, ſaid the Seller, but it is, for
many ſell that Diligence they perform not, and the
favour and intereſt which they have with others, g
and many times thoſe actions and labours they ne-
ver ſweated or laboured for. Thus paſſing froin
one Shop to another, they met with one, where
Merchants with much trouble and perplexity drove
away their Cuſtomers, and diſcouraged all that came
to trade with them. Do you ſell, or not, faid Andre-
stio? I never ſaw ſo abſurd an action, that the Mer-
chant ſhould deny acceſs to their Chapmen, and
hinder their own Profit and Sales. What is it you
mean by this ? With which they uncivilly treated
them, and deſired them to be gone and Trade far-
ther off. Do you ſell, ſaid he, or not? What is
eft Fraud, or Poiſon ? Neither one, nor other, but
rather the moſt eſteemed Jewels of the World;
for it is Eſtimation it felf, which a
Epimation. referrednels only can preſerve, fa-
miliarity deſtroyes it, and intimate
ſociety diſenobles it. This is agreeable, faid Critilo,
to that laying, That Honorer inbabits at a diſtance, and
H
that
The Spaniſh Critick.
241
that there is no Prophet in his oron Country ; and that
were the Stars themſelves fixed near us, they would ix
few days looſe their Luļtre and Efteem ; ſo'antient years
are valued by the preſent, as the Sages of our times
will be the admiration of ſucceeding ages.
Yonder, ſaid Egenio, is a rich Jeweller, let us
go thither, where perhaps we may buy ſome pre-
tious Stones at a cheap Rate, in which are not on-
Luſtre, but Vertue alſo; being entered in, they
found the diſcreet Duke of Villa Hermoſa in perion
there, deſiring the Lapidary to fhew him ſome of
the fineſt ſort, and of greateſt eſtimation. He an-
fwered that he would, for he had fome of great
Value and Price: and as all expected ſome rare ori-
ental Stone, ſome Diamond, or Emrod, whoſe ſpark-
ling brightneſs chears up thoſe who behold it; he
drew out a piece of black Jet, as dull and melan-
choly as himſelf. This, ſaid he, excellent Sir, is a
Stone the moſt worth your eſtimation and value
in this hath Nature inſtilled the quinteſſence of Vir-
tule; into this hath the Sun, the Stars, the Elements,
conſpired to drop their moſt precious Spirits and
influence. At theſe high expreſſions, they were all
amazed, and remained ſilent, giving way to the
diſcreet Duke to ſpend his Judgment; who replied,
what is it you mean by this? Is not this a piece of
Jet ? What then can this Lapidary pretend by it ?
What need is there of all theſe extravagant praiſes of
it? Doth he take us for Indians ? This, ſaid the
Jeweller, is more precious then Gold, more profi.
table then Rubies, more bright then the Carbuncle:
Pearls are not to be compared with it. In fine, it
is the Stone of Stones. The Duke not being lon-
ger able to let him run on in theſe extravagancies;
Is this more, ſaid he, then a piece of Jet? No, re
ܪ
plied
ya "*"""
242 The Spaniſh Critick.
plicd he, Why then do you give theſe exorbitant
commendations of it, for of what vertue or beauty
is thiş Ştone? Or what Novelty or ſtrange effects
have been found lately in it? It is not pleaſing to
the fight, as theſe of a ſhining and tranſparent
Lufter ; nor is it Phyſical or Medicinal, as the
Emrod, nor Comfortable as the Diamond, nor
Purifies as the Saphyr, nor an Antidote againſt Ve-
noms, as the Bezar, nor can facilitate Birth like the
Eagles Stone, nor is a remedy to eaſe Diſtempers;
for what more then can it ferve, then as toyes for
Children? Your Excellency, ſaid the Lapidary, muſt
pardon me, for it is only uſeful for Men, and thoſe
of the wiſelt Tort for in the Philoſophers Stone,
which tcacheth, and inſtructs us in the Precepts of
Morality and in one word that which moſt im-
ports, it gives us Rules which way to guide the
courſe of our lives what tilanner? by contem-
I ning and Fcorning the World, by yielding to it in
nothing, that neither Cares fhould weaken our Sto-
mach, nor Troubles make us ſtart from our Sleep;
nor as fond Fools affect the World too much, but
to walk
as free and diſindaved., as the King of it,
I
made us; this is to live, this is a buſineſs in whole
right management the World is moſt ignorant. Give
if me hisher, faid the Duke, for I willchain it in my
Houſe, and encloſe it in the moft ferrer Drawers of my
Cather. Here is fold, cryed one, a Soveraign re-
medy againſt all Diſeaſes ; to which there crowded
fach a multitude of Cuſtomers, that the shop could
not receive their Feet, but their Headt being empty
and without ſubſtance, were more eaſily contained
in a narrow compaſs. Andrexie impatiently deſired
them, to give him fùddenly of that Marchandize;
and they told him Yes; for we know you have need
of
The Spaniſh Critick.
243
of it, and therefore have Pacience ; but
he preſently after again importuned Patience.
them to diſpatch him. Sir, said the
Merchant, have I not already given it to you? How
given it me? Yes, replied another, I am an eye-
witneſs of it. Andrenio growing angry hereat,
denied it with fury. It is true, replyed the Seller,
though he hath no reaſon neither in what he faith,
for though they have given it to him, yet he hath
not received it'; wherefore be patient and expect
it: The Seller having thus wearied the expectation
of his Cuſtomers, deſired them to retire, and give
way for others, having that which they came for.
What means thiș, replied Andrenio ? Do you affront
us, fee with what patience we attend, give us our
deſires, and we ſhall foon depart. You may go,
ſaid the Merchant, for I have already given it you,
and that twice. To me? You have only bid me
have Patience. How pretious a Commodity, laugh-
ing aloud, ſaid the Merchant, is this? It is to adni-
rable a remedy againſt all diſaſtures, that all gene-
rally, from the King to the Peaſant, that are not
Maſters of it, are unarmed Soldiers againſt the
Worlds Revolutions. Here is, ſaid another, to be
fold what all the Riches of the World have not
value enough for to buy. Who then can trade for
it? Thoſe who will not looſe it, was replied. And
that is Liberty : a thing which we
ought moſt to eſteem ;
for not to Liberiy.
have our dependance on anothers
Will, eſpecially to be diſingaged from obedience to
an ignorant Ruler, or of him, whom we would be
alhamed to own, not only for our Maſter, but for
a Servant; for there is no pain nor trouble greater
then to have men impoſe weights on our heads and to
S
make
is
244
The spaniſh Critick.
make them ferve inſtead of Backs for Burden. Amidſt
this came in a Chapman into the Shop, who told
the Merchant he would ſell him his Ears; at which
motion they all laughed; but Egenio eſpecially, who
informed them, that it was the principal thing, and
firſt that we ſhould buy; a thing as uſeful as any,
for as we have bought Tongues to keep ſilence, lo
let us buy Ears that we may not hear which will be of
excellent uſe being ſet on the ſhoulders of a ſtrong Por-
or Miller. In all this Fare, it was a rare fight to
find one, who fold his own Commodities; things
alſo not eſteemed, for what they are, but for what
they appeared, and Men not ſeeing, nor hearing
with their own Eģes, and Ears, but with thoſe bor-
rowed from others; whoſe very Taſte was regu-
lated by anothers Palate; and their whole Know-
ledge and Judgment beholding to their own Credu-
lity and others Information. But a thing very much
obſerved was, that the famous Men of the World,
as Alexander, the two Cæfars, Julius, and Auguſtus,
and others of that Rank, and Order of time, to-
gether with the Moderns, as the in-
Dox Foon of
vincible Captain Don Juan of Auſtria
Auftrie. did much frequent a Shop on which
there was no Inſcription ; their curio-
ſity of knowing the myſtery thereof, and the unwil-
lingneſs of the people to inform them what was to
be ſold, made them more deſirous and inquiſitive;
beſides the Merchants were thoſe, who were the
moſt Diſcreet and Judicious. There muſt be ſome
deep myſtery in this, faid Critilo ; and going to one
of them, asked him privately, what'was their fold?
Who replyed, that there was nothing fold, but gi-
ven at a high Rate. What is that? It is
Wthat ineſtimable Liquor, which makes men Immor-
tal,
The Spaniſh Critick. 245
tal, Deifies their Memories, and makes them only
known, and chronicled in the World, whilſt milli-
ons belídes are buried in perpetual oblivion; as if?
they were not only dead, but never had lived: all
confeſſed it was a pretious thing, ſaying, What an
excellent fancy had Francis the Firſt, Mathew Corvi-
nus, and others. Tell us if there may be
be any left
for us? Yes, said they, there may be, upon condi-
tion you repay as much, I mean of your own Sweat ;
for 10 much as a man Tweats with his Induſtry and
Travel, ſo much đoth he obtair of Fame and Im-
mortality. The Vertue of Critilo ſeemed
deſerving
of it, to whom they gave a Glaſs of that Immortal
Liquor; who looking on it with much curioſity, be-
lieving to ſee the influence of the Stars (mile upon
it, or ſome quinteſſence of the Suns Rays, or ſome
diſtilled Spirits of Heaven, he found it to be no-
thing but a little Ink mingled with Oyl; and therefore
in contempt he would have thrown it away,had not
Egenio hindered him; for know, ſaid he, that the
Olof the Students Lamp, and the Ink of Hiſto-
rians, mixed with the Sweat and Induſtry of famous
Worthies, and ſometimes with the Bloud of their
Wounds, compoſe an Immortality of Fame. In this
manner the Ink of Cæfür Deified Achilles, and that of
Virgil, Auguſtus; Cæſar was immortalized by his own,
that of Horace renowned his Mecænuss, that of Jari-
is his invincible Captain, the Ink of Peter Matheus,
Henry the fourth of France; but the reaſon why all
arrive not to this pitch of excellency, is becauſe they
want ſucceſs in their Enterprizes, or at leaſt the for-
tune of a good Hiſtorian to transfer them to Poite-
rity.
S3
Tales
:
246
The Spaniſlo Critick.
ka
Sapientia
Tales Milefius fold Works without words, fay-
inges his Deeds were Men, and words only
Handmaids to them, or Servants of the Female
Sex. * Horace ſays that the firft ſtep
*
to Wiſdom is to be free from Follt.
pt:mi et
Pitacus, another of the Wits of Greece
Multitia caru moderated exorbitant Prices, and re.
ile.
ducing all things to the juſt ballance
of ne quid nimis. There were many
reading an Inſcription, which was, Here is ſold the
Belt at a bad Price; but few came into the Shop.
Do not wonder, ſaid Egenio, that this ſhould be a
Merchandize, ſo little eſteemed of in the World.
Some wiſe men, ſaid the Merchant, trade here by
returning good for bad, and thus employ their Ta-
lents with no fmall advantage and happy returns,
This is a place, "faid another, neglected by alt, eve-
ry one being fufpitious, that he who is his greateſt
Friend to day, will to morrow be
Valentia a
his Eneniy; and indeed few Country-
Province in
men of Valentia enter here no more
Spain.
then they do into the Shop of Secreſie,
At the end of all, there was a common Office, to
which all people applyed themſelves to know the
value and eſtimation of every Commodity, but the
way and means how to priſe and rate them, was
odd and ſtrange, it being to beat them in pieces, to
ſpoil, burn, and in fine, to deſtroy that which we
moſt love, and value, as our Health, Eſtate, Ho-
pour; in ſhort, what is either dear or precious to
us: Is this (faid Andreuio ) the way to raiſe Eſtima-
tion? Yes, replyed they; for till our Folly hath made
us ſenſible of the want of Goods, either of N2.
ture or Fortune, our Judgments can never
ſet the
due Price, and value upon them.
At
:
The Spaniſh Critick:
247
At the requeſt of Andrenio they pafled to the
other part of the Fare of Hunianc lite, notwith-
tanding the unwillingneſs of Critilo to be drawn
with them, for oftentimes to pleale Fools, Wile
men err : On this ſide there were many Shops of
different conditions each from the other. The first
Inſcription was, Here is ſold bim who buys. This is
the firſt ſtep to Folly, ſaid Critilu. And pray God
it proves not miſchievous to us, replyed Egenio. Not-
withſtanding which ſaying, Axdrenio had precipita-
ted himſelf in, had not they pulled him back,
warning him of the danger, and that his entrance
there was the Gate to Captivity. To confirin which
they ſaw ſome afar off, and thoſe none of their
ſmalleſt Friends, captivated in Chains, and ſold
Slaves to unworthy Maſters.On another Shop it was
written, Here is ſold that which is given. Which
fome gueſſed to be rewards. Others the remune.
ration and Preſents of theſe times. without doubt,
faid Andrenio, it muſt be that which is given, and
beſtowed too late, which is as much as not to give,
and deſerves a thankleſs return. No, ſaid Critilo,
it may be Gifts, or Alms, bought with Demands;
for Requeſts coſt a certain reluctancy of Nature,
fearing to receive the diſcourteſic of a denial. But
Egenio faid, they were the Gifts of this vile World.
How bad a Merchandiſe is this, cryed one at the
Gate ; but however they were impatient to enter
in, and when they returned again, they complained
of moſt accurſed Ware; for if you poſtels it not,
you are tormented with a deſire to enjoy it ; when
you have it, your care to keep it, is troubleſome;
and when you looſe it, you conſummate all
your miſery with vexation. They obſerved
S 3
an-
248 The Spaniſh Critick.
another Shop full of nothing but empty Glaſſes.
and Cheſts, and yet full of People. To this hurly-
barly and croud came Andrenio, and asked, ſeeing
lothing;what was ſold there? They anſwered Wind
and Air, and ſomething elſe, both of leſs ſubſtance
and advantage. And is there any that will buy it?
Yes, ſaid they, and ſome are ſo covetous of it, that
they eſteem their whole Eſtates too ſmall a Price
wherewith to purchale it. That Cheſt yonder is
filled with Flatteries, and ſold at the higheſt Rate;
In that Glaſs are words the Price unvaluable; In
that Box is a Conſerve of Favours, generally asked
for, and demanded ; That vaſt Trunk is ſwelled with
Falſity, a Commodity of more Demand then Truths,
eſpecially if Craft and Cunning can for three days
conceal the Fallacy. As the Italian faith, In tempo
di
guerra bugia, cometerra. Is it poſſible, conſidered
Critilo, that any man ſhould buy Air, and pay him-
ſelf with it too? Do you wonder at
AD Air. this, ſaid they, What is there in the
World but Air, take that from Man,
and you ſhall foon fee what then remains. And yet
here is ſold ſomething leſs then Air, which notwith-
ſtanding is very ſatisfactory, and Men are paid ſuf-
ficiently with it ; for there they ſaw a young ſmock-
fac°d Lad, actually dealing out many and rich Jewels,
Careſſes, and Gallantries, which always go together,
to an ugly Jade, of whom he was enamoured; and
being asked what he thought pleaſing or amiable
in her, He anſwered, a certain Meen and little Air
ſhe had. And is it but a little Air, faid Critilo, and
yet is it capable to enkindle fo much Fire ? 'There
was another Fellow, that was delivering out many
Ducats, to fome that ſhould kill his Adverſary; and
faid one to him, Sir, what hurt hath he done you?
Done
The Spaniſ Critick. 249
Done me, ſaid he, he hath not done much; but
there was a kind of word which he ſpake;
What was it, Affrontive? No, ſaid he, but yet me-
thought, he ſpake it in a certain Manner, and Air,
that offended me much, Alas, ſaid Critilo, is it not
ſo much as Air, which is likely to coſt you and him
ſo dear ? here was one great Prince to be ſeen
that conſumed all his Eſtate and Revenue in Para-
ſites, and Buffoons; and he ſaid, he did it becauſe
he was pleaſed with their Geſtures, their Faſnion,
and Behaviour, and in that manner at a dear rate
are ſold the Punctilio's of Honour, the Vanities of
the Mode, the Air of Songs, and a Debonaire Be-
haviour.
But that which was beyond all admiration, was
a certain Woman ſo fierce, that ſhe run through the
Market like an infernal Fury, fcratching and tearing
all that came to her Shop, crying out, who buys
Sorrows, Head-aches, Potions to break Sleep, bad
Dinners, and worſe Suppers, and yet whole Armies
entered in, and the worſt was, that when they came
to number them, few remained alive, and ſuch as
did, came forth all beſmeared with Bloud, and with
more Stabs and Wounds then Mar-
quis Borro; and notwithſtanding ſuch
Marquis
as ſaw theſe paſlages, and newly came, Borro.
.
did not forbear to enter in. Critilo
was ſtartled to behold ſo much Cruelty. See, faid
Egenin, how many Evils entice and enſnare poor
Mankind, Gold moves his Avarice, Delight affects
his Luxury, Honours raiſe his Ambition, Meats pleaſe
his Gluttony, Eaſe cheriſhes his Sloth, only Anger
affords naught but Blows, Wounds, and Death,
and yet many Fools and Mad-men purchaſe it at the
deareſt Rate.
SA
There
250
The Spaniſh Critick.
There ſtood another making an Outcry, Here are ſold
Bonds and Fetters of Matrimony.Some came to cheapení
them, and asked whether they were Bands of Iron, or
Women? That is all one, faid he, for they both hold
faſt alike, and for their Price, you may have them
for nothing, or ſomething leſs. How car chat be,
ſaid one? what lefs then rothing? It muſt certainly
be a bad fort of Merchandize. What, women?
and thoſe cryed too, conſidered another : for my
part I will have none of them, neither ſeen, nor un-
feen, known nor unknown. Howſoe ver there came
one, and he demanded a handſome Wife, which
they ſold him at the Price of an Aching-head, and
the Match-monger aſſured him, that
Marriige. the firſt day would be his own
happineſs, but that for other days he
muſt be content to ſhare them with other Men. An-
other came, who was well warned hereby, and he
would have an ugly Wife. And for this, ſaid the
Seller, you fhall pay with a perpetual trouble. They
invited a young Man paling by to take a wife,
but he anſwered, that it was too early yet for him;
And asking the ſame of an antient Man and he ſaid
it was too late. But when another, who thought
he had more diſcretion then the reſt, asked for a
Wife Woman; they brought him out a moſt ill-
favoured Creature; all Bones and Tongue. But
faid one wiſer then he, Let me, good sir, have ona
that is agreeable to me in all things ; for I am al
ſured that a woman is tlie other half of a Man;
for that at firft they were both really one, till God
feparated them for not obeying his Divine Coni-
mand ; and this is the cauſe why man ſeeking his
other half, ris tranfported-with a vehement propen
fity towards the Female Sex. You have fome rea
fon
By Simone
The Spaniſh Critick 251
fon, anſwered they, but it is very difficult for eve-
ry one to find his other half, for all things are con-
fúſed and ſhuffled together; ſo that the half which
belongs to the Chollerick man, we give to the Phleg-
matick, that of the Melancholy to the Chearful
that of the Handſome to the Hard-favoured. and
ſometimes that of a young Man of Twenty, to an
old decrepid Dotard of Seventy; which is the oc-
caſion that moſt married Men live in a repenting
ſtate. But Mr. Matchmonger by your leave, faid
Critito, you have no excuſe in this, for the inequa-
lity is ſufficiently apparent between fifteen years and
feventy. What would you have me do, replied he,
they are blind, and will have it ſo, and the reaſon
hereof is, Sir, becauſe that they, being Girls, deſire
ſpeedily to be Women, and the Men being old
and doating, turn Children, and as ill luck will
have it, when they have not young Men by their
ſides, they are diſpleaſed to have ſuch lie by them,
who are troubled with Coughs, Ptiſícks, and
Rheumes. But as to this Woman now, there is no
remedy, take her as you deſired; but the Chapman
reviewing her again, found that ſhe came ſhort in
two or three particulars, both as to her Age, her
Quality, and her Riches, and willing then to dif-
claim his Bargain, declared ſhe was not agreeable
to his deſire. Take her however, ſaid he, for in
time you may accommodate her to your Mind, for
otherwiſe ſhe may become much worſe ; but have a
care you afford her not all that is neceſſary, for
in giving her that, ſhe will quickly come to arro-
gate that, which is fuperfluous. One being invi-
ted to ſee a Wife, was much praiſed for his antwer,
That he would not thoofe a Wife by his Eyes, but 7
by.
1
252
The Spaniſh Critick.
.
by his Ears, and in reward thereof obtained one,
vho had a good Fame for her Dowry.
At length they were invited to the Houſe of
Good Chear, where there was a Banquet prepa-
red. This muſt be the quarter of Gluttony, ſaid
Andrenio. It may be fo, replied Critilo, but thoſe
that enter ſeem the Eaters, and thoſe that go forth
appear to be the Meat that is devoured : and here
were rare Sights, for there was a great Lord ſet up
in State, encircled with Gentlemen, intermixed with
Dwarfs, Buffoons, and Flatterers, like the Ark
of
he eats well, but the account was large,
for they avouched that he had eaten One hundred
thouſand Ducats a year Rent, which account was
paſſed without any queſtion or ſcruple. Critilo con-
fidering hereof, ſaid, how can this be? for he hath
not eaten the hundred part of what they pretend.
It is true, replied Egenio, but what he hath not de-
voured, theſe have. Then according hereunto, ſaid
he, let them not ſay, that ſuch a Duke hath a hun-
dred thouſand Crowns a year, but only a thousand,
and that the reſt only conſiſts in troubles and vexa-
tions of Mind. There was a ſort of people like
Camelions, that ſucked in Air, and pretended, that
they grew fat with it, but at length all vaniſhed in-
to Air. Some eat all, and ſome drank all, ſome
ſucked in their Spittle, and others chewed upon an
Onion; and at length thoſe that eat were eaten them-
felves, and that to the very Bone. In all theſe Shops
was ſold nothing of ſubſtance, or true benefit ; how-
foever on the right hand, were Wares of the most
pretious quality and Truths of the pureſt Tauch,
which were fold to mens own felves, ſuch as theſes
Tbe wiſe man is with bimſelf; and God is All-fufficient.
In
The Spaniſh Critick
253
In this manner they came out from the Fare, dif-
courſing as they went. Egenio being other then
what he was before, becauſe now rich, intended to
return to his Lodging, for in this life, we have no
Houſe, or abiding Manſion. But Critilo and Andrea
nio reſolved to paſs the Gates of Virile Age in Ara-
gon, of which the famous King gave this teſtimo-
ny,
that he was born to make as many Knights of St.
Jago, as ſhould be Conquerors of ſeveral Kingdoms,
and comparing the ſeveral Countries of Spain to
the different Ages of Man, attributed the robuſtious
and manly Age to that of Aragon.
The
1
254
The Spaniſh Critick.
The Concluſion;
Being the Univerſal Reformation.
IF
F Mep change their inclinations every ſeven
years; how much more muſt their Judgments
alter in every period of their four Ages. He that
underſtands little, or nothing, lives but by halfes;
the Faculties of our Souls are feeble in our infancy;
and the common or inferiour, as well as the more
noble“ Powers lie buried in an unſenſible Infancy,
exerciſing only an animal Life, and encreaſing with
a Vegetation like Flowers, or Plants. But the time
comes when the Soul proceeding out of its Mantles,
enters into the Jovial Stage of Youth, which being
Senſual and Luxurious, is moſt naturally expreſſed
by ſuch Epithites. He that underſtands little, in-
dulges his Genius, and purſues thoſe Inclinations,
to which Youth and Nature prompt him, neglecting
the uſe of the ſublimer Faculties. Howſoever
at length, though late, he arrives at the Rational
Life which appertains to Man ; his Judgment
being awakened, he reaſons, and diſcourſes
Elbe Employ 17 deſires to be eſteemed, thirts car
ter great Actions, embraces Vertue,
ments of Man
bood.
cultivates Friendſhips, purſues Know-
ledge, treaſures up Wiſdom, and at-
tends
The Spaniſh Critick.
255
REMAX
to a Stream.
tends to every noble and worthy Action. He thar
compared the life of Man to the Twift current of a
Stream, did apply an apt fimilitude rightly fitted to
the tranſient condition of Humane na-
The Life of
turc, which glides away like a paſſing
Man compared
Water. For Infancy is a lively Brook
ſpringing from amidſt little Sands, the
Muck of our Bodies being produced from the Duſt
of nothing. It twinkles as bright as a little ſpark,
it ſmiles, but doth not laugh, it runs after the little
bubbles of Wind, tumbles amongſt the Pots, and
binds it felf with the green Stays with which the
Nurſe keeps it from falling. But Youth fallies forth
like an impetuous Torrent, runs, Icaps, precipitates
its Waters like Cataracts, bubbles on the looſe
Pebbles, turns into a thouſand Eddies, troubles the
clearneſs of its Streams, and caſts all into Froth, and
Fume. But the fury of this Brook tumbling into the
Age of Manhood, glides then with a more quiet
Stream, and is as ſimooth, and ſtill, as it is deep :
It then diffuſes it felf without noiſe towards fomc
good end or deſign; it overflows the Meadows to
make them fertile and rich; it cncompaſſes Cities,
to carry their Veſſels of Proviſions, and fortifie
them againſt their Enemies; and in ſhort enriches
whole Provinces with all things neceſſary and uſe-
ful. But alas! at length this placid River comes
to diſcharge it ſelf into the froward Sea of old
age, emptying every drop of it ſelf into the pro-
found Abyſs of Infirmities, and Diſeaſes: Here it is
wherein Rich men looſe the vigour of their ſtrength,
their pleaſures, and the remembrance of their very
names: Here it is wherein the ſhattered Veffel drives
to Leeward, leaking in a hundred places; and be-
ing beaten on all ſides with Guſts, and Storms, is at
length
256
The Spaniſh Critick.
length caſt away, being ſhipwracked in the Gulf of
the Grave, and ſwallowed up in the Sands of
per-
petual Oblivion.
Critilo and Andrenio, our two Pilgrims of Life,
were now arrived in Aragon, which Travellers call,
The Good Spain, where being entered,
they found themſelves ingaged in the Aragon the
greateſt ſtage and courfe of Humane Good Spain.
life. They had now inſenſibly paf-
fed the chearful and pleaſant Fields of Youth; and
the plain and wanton Paths of Delight, and were
aſcending upwards on the ſteep Mount of Manly
age, which was full of Tarp Rocks, covered over
with Briers and Thorns, and in every reſpect a moſt
difficult, and troubleſome paſſage. Andrenio,like ſuch
who would ariſe unto Vertue, ftrained hard to mount
aloft,he laboured and ſweat, and was out of breath;
whilft Critilo encouraged him with prudent remem-
brances, and comforting him in a way where no
Flowers grew, with the proſpect of Trees above
laden and overcharged with Fruit which were more
plentiful, and in greater abundance, then the leaves
of thoſe Books which they carried in their hands.
At length they were got ſo high,that they ſeemed to
be raiſed above all that this World contains, and to
rule and govern inferiour things. What is your
opinion, faid Critilo, of this new Region? Do not
you think that we do now breath in a more pure
Air ? Yes indeed, replied Andrenio, methinks we
now carry another fort of Air with us.
We are
entered into a good ſtation, where we may repoſe,
and recover our ſtrength. Let us now reflect, ſaid
Critilo, on the Journy which we have made. Do
not you obſerve thoſe green and trampled paths,
which we have left behind us, how mean, how
vileg
The Spaniſh Critick:
257
vile do all thoſe matters ſeem, which we have al
ready paſſed ? How childiſh and vain appears eve-
ry thing in reſpect of that great Province into which
We are now entred? How empty and void do paſt
matters appear? How little do they fhow from our
fublime place of reſidence ? It were a madneſs to
return to them again by the ſame ſteps which have
wearied us already without fatisfaction or content-
ment. And here we will leave our Pilgrims in the
Confines of Aragon, having attained to the Virile,
and robuſtious Age of Manhood.
FINI S.
'
1 Gubs af
Funesna
6 2 2
:16: 6229