...';


ROBINSON CRUSOE;
FRIDAY AND THE FAIRIES :
— , EHe 38-9-E_r\–
A PANTOMIME
WRITTEN BY
H E N R Y J. : B Y R O N.
The Music composed and arranged by Mr. BETJEMANN.
The Appointments and Masks by Mr. LABHART.
The Machinery by Mr. H. SroyſAN.
The Costumes by Mons. HENNIER, Mr. S. MAY, and Mrs. JAMEs.
The Jewellery by Mons. LABLANC GRANGER, (of Paris.)
The Dances composed by Mons DESPLACEs.
The Scenery by
Messrs. TELBIN, HAWES CRAVEN, DAYES, CANEY, and
MATT MORGAN.
First Performed at
COVENT GARDEN THEATFE,
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 26th, 1868,
Under the Sole Management of Mr. A. HARRIs.
COPYRIGHT.
& “A
* PUBLISHED AND SOLD IN THE THEATRE.
PERICE SIXIEEN CE.
Yº.
§ on bott:
PRINTED BY J. MILEs AND Co., WARDOUR STREET, OXFORD STREETS-W,
Under the immediate Patronage of
H.R.H. THE PRINCESS OF WALES.
A. BORGEN & Co.
D A N is H"GALL E R Es,
142, NEw BOND STREET, w,
Comprising a most Rºcherché Collection of
Danish Jewellery, Danish Porcelain,
Danish Electro-plate, Danish Bisquit,
Danish Terra-cotta, Danish Ivory G00ds,
Danish Furniture, Danish Pictures,
Danish Pianofortes, Danish Sculpture,
&C., &c.,
FROM THE BEST MAKERS -& ART | STS IN DE N MARK.
COURT JOURNAL, October 31, 1868.
It is only Ilatural that an especial interest
should be taken by the English public in any.
tling to which the Princess of Wales in par.
ticular aud very Cºxlpressly wishes to accord her
ſuvour. This her Itoyal II igliuess has done
in a letter of warm approval, bestowing her
1)atronage on the undertaking cominenced by
Messrs. A. Borgen and Co., of 142, New Bond
Street. The house is a Danish one, aliel the
object, it may be briefly stated, is to bring
before the English public the choicest selection
of those articles of manufacture, art works, &c.,
in which the Danes particularly excel. The
place, in fact, will, when quite complete,
resemble the Danish court at the English
Exhibition of 1862, and will as well repay the
visitor for the inspection of the curious, the
beautiful, and the useful as did the collection
of that year, which created so universal an
interest. The persons who have commenced
this undertaking have by no means imistaken
their chances of success, for the goods imported
are just suited to the English taste, especially
that of the more refined classes; but while
inovelty in the objects, and most especially
beauty of design and solid workmanship, are
set before us, the most agreeable quality of
remarkable clieupıness further commends the
articles offered for sale to our good favour.
The collection cousisis of lyictures, sculpture,
jewellery, electro-plate, porcelain, teria cotta,
bisquit, ivory goods, furniture and pianofortes,
with sundry other knick-knacks useful and
ornamental. The visitor must be at once
struck by the uniformity in the tone which
pervades all the productious. There is a classic
purity in the form, the design, the ornament,
A. BORGEN & Co., 142,
aud the colour, which is evidently peculiar to
the people. It is shown in the jewel, which is
a facsimile of ancient Norse ornaments, and it
is manifested in the modern porcelain, bisquit,
ivory, and terra-cotta goods. 13ut in receilt
times there its been clearly one presiding art
spirit, who has given the tone to the productions
of Denmark—namely, Thorvaldsen. The reliefs
on the terra-cotta, the porcelain, bisque, and
ceramic waves, are all either after special
designs by the Danish sculptor, or collies of his
great works. In fact, we witness the principle
carried out through the whole of Danish manu-
factures which gave for a time such high value
and art dignity to the productions of Wedgwood
in our own country. The ornamental pottery,
we must in honesty confess, branscends the
English ware in beauty. The purity of colour
and the elºquent and graceful reliefs are Some-
thing to astound the lover of art productions,
and after that he will have to get over a second
wonder—namely, the diminutive price that is
charged for an art work of magnitude. The
furniture, the pianofortés, &c., exhibit the like
good taste, and what is essential to obtain
English patronage, solidity and sound work-
manship. The cheap but fine porcelail) from
the Royal manufactory of Copenhagell quite
equals the Dresden, and the exquisite painting
and novelty in the subjects and designs place
the ware in the foremost ranks We are certain
that the good favour of the Princess of Wales
has fallen wisely, and that the Danish pro-
ductions will meet with the highest approbation
from a large class, and most especially from
those who can appreciate art excellence.
NEW BOND STREET, W.

* * * * : * ~ *.
- #:
ROBINSON CRUSOE (the original “Hero of Romance")
Monday)
Mr. W. H. PAYNE
FRIDAY (not related, as his color might Suggest, to Black
Mr. FRED PAYNE
HOKYPOKYWANKYFUM (the King of Cannibal Islands)
MIT.
QUASHIBUNGO
J. D. STOYLE
(Lord Chamberlain)
Mr. TOSS
THE ELF (who is smart enough take care of his.elf)
Miss NELLY POWER
THE SEDATE FAIRY (of the Virgin Island) Miss MARIA HARRIS
MLRS. ROBINSON CRUSOE . .
Mr. WILLMIOT
THE FAWOURITE SQUAW
e ... Miss LAVINE
The Music of the several Airs and Melodies in the Pantomime published by
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T O P L A Y G O E R S.
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ROBIN SON C R USO E:
OR,
FRIDAY AND THE FAIRIES
SCENE T.
THE ENCHANTED ISLE.
Seated in his Nautilus Shell, THE EIF arrives. He lands, gazes about
EI.F.
with delight, and addresses the audience.
Well here we are again, I'm me, myself.
A tricksy, wicked, laughing chaffing elf.
I've run away from Ma, and from our Grotto,
Of which she's queen—she'll wonder where I've got to,
For by this time, I've very little doubt,
My mother's quite aware that I am out.
This island is enchanted, and on here
There dwells a certain fairy, such a dear !
But oh ! so proper, and oh so severe.
She has been crossed in love, and won't admit
A male to touch this shore—but stop a bit,
I am a male—my resolution's stout,
And no malevolence shall keep me out;
I'll sing to catch their ears, howe'er she scold,
My singing's rather “Catching ” I’ve been told.
SONG.—ELF.
Come as I raise my finger,
Come from each fairy grot;
Lazily do not linger,
But with all speed you've got.
Come from each fairy bower,
Come from each fairy dell,
For I have just half-an-hour
To dance with each fairy belle.
Come pretty fays, come hither,
Beautiful, bashful, and coy;
Come let us be happy together,
I'm only an innocent boy!
Such an innocent boy,
Such a duck of a boy,
Such a rogue of a boy
[during the above, Fairies from all sides (attracted by the
melody) appear listening, and gather around him. The ELF
enchanted, addresses them.
6
You ducks, you pretty dears, I’ve often watched you;
And now, to use a vulgar rhyme, I've cotched you.
Do dance for me, as for compunction—drop it.
Do skip it, trip it—and do hop it—poppet.
B A L L E T.
THE FROLIC OF THE FAIRIES
By Madlle. LAMBERTINI and the Corps de Ballet.
At end slight rumbling of thunder, fairies group together in fear.
ELF. What's that ?
Enter the SEDATE FAIRY, enraged.
S. FAIRY. What's that ' Why, which it's me, vile scapegrace.
ELF. (advancing, bows.)
. Your eyes are stars, lips rubies, and your shape grace,
Beauty personified, come, don't look cross.
[puts his arm round her waist, wheedlingly, which she repulses.
To our society you're such a loss,
Why shut yourself up here?
S. FAIRY. I've vowed a vow
Against the other sex. There'll be a row
If, sir, again you put your foot on here.
ELF. (strutting away from her conceitedly.)
You can't get on without us, can you, dear?
S. FAIRY. What do you say ! Be off! if not this minute,
I have a prison, and I'll pop you in it.
ELF. Of course, because you're loth to let me go.
S. FAIRY. I choke with rage—don't make of me your foe.
Your Ma and me are old friends, but no matter.
Come, go You little flat.
ELF, You little flatter.
I'm going, but defy you here I do. | going up.
Listen the iot of you—it's very true
Your mistress has declared and vowed no male
Shall set foot on this island—don't turn pale.
Don't tremble, but remember what I’ve said
When crowds of individuals shall tread
This sacred soil—yes, shoals |
S. FAIRY (enraged.) Oh, I shall sink.
FI.F. Of an invasion you are on the brink.
This island shall be over-run with men,
Since you won't let an Elf come now and then,
Until it doth resemble (how she quails 1)
The general Post. Office—one mass of males.
[ THE ELF runs tº Nautilus, turns and defiantly threatens his
antagonist the S. FAIRY, and the group of Nymphs and Fays
around her.
SCENE II.
STREET IN WAPPING.
Mariners cross stage with cargo from vessel. A Jew Pedlar mixing with
the crowd is assailed by Charity Boys. The Beadle interferes, and a
contest ensues in which the dignity of the parochial officer greatly
suffers.
7.
RoBINson CRUsor, enters wheeling perambulator and surrounded by his
RoB. C.
Mrs. C.
ROB. C.
ROB.
Mrs.
ROB.
Mrs.
ROB.
Mrs.
ROB.
Mrs.
TOB.
Mrs.
ROB.
Mrs.
ROB.
E.I.F.
ELF.
ROB.
ELF.
C.
Rob. C.
ELF.
ROB. C.
ELF. Let's have a little drop of something—quick
ROB. C.
º
jamily. - º
What are you at 2 the baby would you smother!
(without.) IRobinson
Now you'll catch it. Here's your mother.
Enter Mrs. CRUsor, out of breath.
You vagabone to go so fast, you wretch,
You know well I my breath can scarcely fetch,
Being asthmatical. The child you're dropping.
I’m the forlornest woman in all Wapping.
Oh if I had a brother.
Wish you had,
'Cos p'raps you'd go and live with him.
You bad
Ungrateful monster, you, oh Oh! | clasps hand to her side.
Now then,
What is it 2
Oh! the, the spasms come again. [pulls out bottle
[writhing in agony
Well what's the matter, pray, with you ?
You've got the spasms, and I've got 'em too.
One little drop.
Oh Olı 1
. (shews empty bottle) All gone.
What all the lot 2
That's cool.
Come liome, sir, and you'll get it hot.
There's nothing in the larder, go and Work,
You treat your poor Wife like a downright Turk.
Come on, my precious pets.
JBe off.
(shuddering contempt at him, collects the children and eacit.)
J3other
Bother!
The babies are noosance, so's their mother. -
[THE EIF in the dress of a sailor boy, rises.
Come, go !
I've come here in a second and a-half!
'Twould puzzle the electric telegraph
To do the like ; in fact, those say who know
The District Telegraph's uncommon slow,
And very often that a penny letter $º
Would do as well, if not a good deal better.
(meditatiug.) To run, or not to run ? That is the question.
apping him on the shoulder.)
Run by all means, it's good for the digestion;
You're miserable at home. Your wife's a tarter,
You could not find more hardships on the warter.
Come, go to Sea.
Go to see what 2
The ocean.
The ocean | not by no means a bad notion. -
[bottle appears,
Gracious ! what's that ?
Ery.
Only the bottle trick.
How do you like it
Rob. C. (after drinking.). G'lopshus.
ELF.
Rob. C.
Aint it heady.
(staggers.) No, not a bit, now Robinson, stand steady.
(drinks.) It's nectar.
ELF. (aside.) Yes, we've got him, he's the man,
The very chap to carry out my plan.
Air, “Fisherman's Daughter.”
Sure this beats heavy wet,
It's as good as prime Mo-et,
It'll make your eyes sparkle, you scarcely can see,
You'd spoil it with water,
Each evening you oughter
Just take a slight sprinkle to flavor your tea;
Sobriety's gammon,
Declare it's the salmon.
At all events don't say you've got it from me.
The right chap I've caught,
And that fairy'll be taught
A lesson she'll sure to remember will she.
For nobody oughter
Exist upon water.
This tipple admit beats the best eau-de-vie.
This exquisite liquor
Surpasses your Clicker,
Your Perrier Jouet, and Côte Romanee.
[eacit ELF and Rob. C.
SCENE III.
WAPPING IN THE OLDEN TIME.
Bustle incident to a Thames landing place. Landlord and customers of
“Jolly Tar,” making merry. Sailors shipping cargo, a boat's crew
arrive and land, hearty welcome ashore. ROB. C., rather tipsy, skips on
in the most approved nautical fashion, led by THE EIF.
ELF.
Rob. C.
ELF.
RoR. C.
Eir.
Why, your own mother wouldn't know you, Rob.
Really, a stylish suit for thirty bob,
I feel that I am every inch a sailor,
And feel contempt for tinker or for tailor;
Turn up my nose at every kind of trade.
Aye! aye! your honour. [with a pitch and skip.
That's a jolly blade;
You'll do me credit. Holloa, boys, see here
Here's a new messmate, one devoid of fear,
And so three cheers for him. [ELF giving the hips, they all cheer.
You do me proud,
I'll stand to you all round if I’m allowed;
Here, rum and water, someone there, ad libitum,
And if they want a second glass, why gib it um.
[the sailors cheer, and one more familiar than the rest slaps
RoB. on the back violently, on which CRU. knocks him down.
The sailors make a rush at ROB. but is scientifically defended
a la P.R. by ELF.
Don't touch him, if you do you'll find though small
That I am big enough to thrash you all,
9
So black looks, threatening attitudes, be dropping,
Or in two senses you'll have come to Whopping.
Come let's forget all squabbles and be jolly,
Let's have a song, a something “ri tol lolly.”
[Rob. C. comes forward and is about to sing when Mrs. C.’s
voice is heard without, and Rob. C. conceals himself behind
sailors.
Mrs. CRUSOE, with the children, rushes on.
Mrs. C. Where is my husband 2 Where's my Robin-sun ?
From his fond wife he's been and cut and run.
I want new clothes, the children want 'em too.
The baker's troublesome, the rent is doo.
The butcher's cut our legs off, and the grocer
For his own raisons stopped our currents flow, sir.
We are a floating on a sea of troubles,
The greengrocer has stopped our vege-tubbles.
A helpless woman's lone condition scorning,
Two executions have come in this morning.
Our water's cut off by a man in blue,
And now my Robinson is cut off too.
Where is he 2 (sees him.) Ha!
ELF. Now be prepared for breezes.
Mrs. C. He's there—yes, him I sees and him I siezes |
- [Mrs. C. chases her husband through the crowd. Persisting
she obtains one affectionate embrace, but Rob. C. is torn
from her arms, leaving his pigtail in her disconsolate grasp.
The Beadle interposes to restore order, but fails ignominiously.
The Charity Boys eaſpress infinite delight at Beadle's defeat,
and boat's crew carry off Rop. C. triumphantly, amidst
general hurrahs. .**
TABLEAU.
SCENE IV.
CAVERN ON ISLAND.
Enter SEDATE FAIRY enraged.
S. FAIRY Hang out our banners—no you don't mean that
You little, silly, stupid, fairy flat 1
The cry is still they come, men creatures—lots,
A boatful of male human wretches blots
The landscape I have loved to look on free
From the vile presence of a shagle “he.”
What's to be done? I have it. I’ll invoke
My trusty vassals; Ha! my hearts of oak
Don't hope a footing on this shore to gain.
Wind come at once, and your accomplice, Rain /
[wind and rain appear.
How de do, Wind, Rain, how de do? my dear
Thunder and Lightning, instantly appear.
[thunder and lightning appear,
“Blow Wind and crack your cheeks,” Rain fall in showers
Thunder exhibit all your bolting powers, :
Lightning please prove a flashing as you can
Remember your Queen's enemy is man;
Let not a single male in yonder vessel
Successfully against your powers wrestle,
à
1
With an o'erwhelming storm the rash fools greet,
And let the ocean be their winding sheet.
[they eaceunt—storm—then lull.
They have obeyed their fairy monarch's wishes,
Their victims now are food for little fishes;
The hungry sea has swallowed up the lot,
And I have triumphed. [ETF bounds in.
ELF. No, my déar, you've not,
As for your storm, I feel the utmost scorn for it,
For Crusoe’ll never drown, he wasn't born for it,
Just keep your eye on that, and not on me,
And shortly you shall see, what you shall see,
He by his cunning has contrived a craft. [a la showman.
[Rob. C. approaching land upon his raft—scene closes.
S. FAIRY But he shan’t triumph. If he is to land,
"Twill be to meet with foeman, understand.
You think this island uninhabited 2
But you shall find out your mistake; instead,
I will import a savage race of blacks,
Who shall
ELF. Delighted! this of fighting smacks,
The gallant tar I've rescued from the water,
Is game for pitch and toss up to manslaughter,
T'other excitement he's prepared for quite,
So its agreed. We go in for a fight.
S. FAIRY. We do I To arms
EI.F. As sure as eggs is eggs,
'Stead of two arms, you'd better trust to legs,
Your blacks are bound to cut away.
S. FAIRY They'll do so,
- That is, you'll find they'll cut away at Crusoe. [earewmt.
SCENE W.
THE ISLAND.
Enter Robinson CRUSOE.
Rob. C. Why did I go to sea 2 Why was I wrecked 2
"Twas just the sort of thing I might expect.
Ill luck has followed me all through my life,
I used to have such rows with my poor wife.
She used to thrash me so, when I would let her,
I was much struck with her when first I met her.
Still her devoted husband she might whack again,
If to Old England he could but go back again.
(starts) Ha! haſ what's here? a human footprint surely.
Oh, dear! Oh, dear! I feel uncommon poorly.
It's plain some one's been here—a human hoof–
Of course, it's evident; that print's a proof.
[noise heard without.
What's that ? Who's them 2 Canoes | It's well I've got
A fowling piece, and powder, likewise shot.
They're not so civilized as yet to know
The way we wholesale can destroy a foe;
I see their spears, that little creek beyond
It quite reminds a chap of Spiers and Pond.
[a war whoop is heard and Rob. C. hastily conceals himself.
FRIDAY rushes on terrified and falls exhausted, his pursuers
Jollowing him. 4. -
11
Enter QUASHIBUNgo and two Savages.
QUASH. Ha, ha! we got him now; now den you nigger.
RoB. C. And now watch the effect of that ere trigger.
[Rob. C. from his concealment fires at them, They start and
exhibit the greatest astonishment. He repeats the shot and
with a frantic yell two of the savages fly in alarm and terror.
He again fires, and QUASH. departs with a cry and a wound.
FRIDAY and Rob. C. approach each other with suspicion and
caution, at length FRIDAY taking courage prostrates himself
on the ground at Rob. C.’s feet, placing as a mark of gratitude
and submission, one foot on his showlder, ROB. C. playfully
pushes him over.
RoB. C. An Englishman, my friend, does not make slaves
Of those poor individuals he saves.
You shall my servant be, shall hunt and shoot,
Nature provides you with a nice black suit,
It fits you like your skin—your wages clear
Will be-a-nothing-and, of course no beer;
You'll have no followers—no Sundays out,
There are no nursemaids you can take about ;
My case with Rasselas, doth somewhat tally,
And you must try to be, the happy valley.
[Rob. C. and his man FRIDAY depart, FRIDAY assuming some
considerable importance, and ea pressing great delight at his
new position.
SCENE VI.
CRUSOE'S DWELLING.
Enter CRUSOE and FRIDAY over the palisading. The animals greet CBUsor
affectionately. FRIDAY hangs back timidly. CRUSOE encourages him.
ROB. C. My faithful friends ! One good point all have got.
They're dumb Hem Mrs. Robinson was not.
(to FRIDAY.) Behold my dog, you'll find him very pleasant.
Sir Richard's dropped his muzzle for the present.
My goat—make friends with him, or you'll be silly.
“But me no butts,” says the immortal Billy.
Here is my parrot, though he doesn't speak,
Still he looks wise—like many an other beak.
My cat; I call him Edward, sometimes Ned,
The reason is 'cos he is talon-Ted.
Bless you, my children, (to FRIDAY.) Let's see, you've no name.
We'll call you Friday, if it's all the same.
[going to chest, and throwing out clothes.
You'll find this suit of quickly made up clothes's;
Beat anything by Hyam, Prew, or Moses.
And now to feed—make a pie, good Friday.
Friday with me's invariably pie day.
[ROB. C. and FRIDAY make a pie, and then indulge in a
popular Quadrille with the Animals.
TABLEAU,
12
SCENE WII.
THE ORACLE.
FRIDAY out shooting is nearly captured by the Indians, but escapes.
Enter SEDATE FAIRY.
S. FAIRy. I'll punish him, but how 2 I’ve tried to think
Until of blank despair I've reached the brink.
What can I do? My plan's completely failed,
And warrior-like the isle's all over mailed.
The creatures I detest o'errun the shore,
From the white Briton to the blackamoor.
[a large block of stone assumes human features.
I will consult the oracle. Look here,
What I'm to do is not precisely clear.
How can I punish Crusoe 2 Tell me what
Will be to him a sad and weary lot,
Something most dire, to cut him like a knife.
I wait your answer. Speak |
Ora. (opening mouth) Send for his wife.
S. FAIRY. Send for his wife I That punishment's severe,
But it's deserved, so Mrs. C. appear.
[Mrs. C. discovered beneath willow.
Good, and as luck will have it, he is here. [exit.
Enter CRUsor, laughing. Mrs. CRUsoe takes her husband by the ear.
RoB. C. Well, this is downright jolly I say, mum,
I know that finger and I know that thumb.
[Rob. C. and Mrs. C. embrace. At this juncture they are
surrounded by the Indians.
Mrs. C. Murder I
QUASH. Yar 1 yar ! De king unform-mately,
Hab not had any white folk to eat lately;
You rader tough no doubt, but dat don't matter,
We'll feed you up until you both get fatter.
Seize 'em, and to our monarch dem ere bring,
A dainty dish to set before de king.
[RoB. C. and Mrs. C. made prisoners and carried off. Mrs. C.
screaming and scratching the Indians as they eaceunt.
SCENE VIII.
THE FOREST.
Enter the King's state Banjo Band of African Minstrels.
CHORUS AND DANCE.
De king he am a coming wid a one two three,
De king he am a coming wid his companee,
De king he am chap that likes to make free,
So king he am a coming for to hab a little spree.
Oh oh, what a jolly old king,
What a jolly old king sure am he,
Oh oh, of all dese niggers,
Of all dese niggers the king am he,
13
De queen she am a coming along wid de king,
De queen she am a coming here, and dats why we sing,
And all de folks are coming along wid de two,
So king, queen, and court, will soon be in view.
Oh, oh, what a nice plump queen,
What a nice plump queen sure she be,
Oh oh, so de king and queen are coming here,
To hab a sort ob Ethiopian spree.
THE GRAND PROCESSION OF THE TRIBES,
The KING and Royal Squaw drawn in state dragon chariot, by alligators.
HOKY.
HOKY.
HoKY.
Chorus.
Bress you, my chibberlins. Few remarks just cussory,
We will now make upon this annivussary,
Ob our assuming dis here throne. My dears,
We've been your sobberin a dozen years.
We've raised your taxes, and increased your rent,
Built sebberal prisons at our own expense.
Incarcerated all as spoke dere mind,
Determined for to benefit mankind,
By shutting up de Schools, for dey alarm me,
Pulled down the hospitals, increased the army,
Warned liberals dat dey'll get in a mess,
Hung all de radicals, and gagged the press;
In fact come out in a parental way,
Worthy de era and ob your hooray. [all shout.
Enter QUASHIBUNGo, who whispers to HokyPoKYWANKYFUM.
Two white folk l num, num, num! you don't mean dat?
I say, lord chamberlain, am dey nice and fat?
Say, am dey plump 2 Some folks don't care about it;
But I don't think dem eatable without it :
No, I don't care for a slim, skinny figger,
And my election cry is, “Pump for nigger!”
We haven't had de appetite we've got,
Since we devoured last Saturday a lot
Ob little niggers: list while we relate,
Dem luckless little pickaninnies fate.
SCENA, “Ten little niggers.”
Ten little niggers, looking berry fine,
De king he gobbled one of 'em, den dere was nine,
Nine little niggers—dreadful was their fate,
De king he eat another one, den dere was eight.
Chorus to tune of “How I love the military.”
Oh, how de king delight in pickaninny,
King delight in pickaninny,
King de-light,
King de-light,
In pick-a-min-nee.
Eight little blackymoors couldn't spell eleven,
De King make one a sandwich, den dere was seven.
Seven little blackymoors studied poli-tics, -
De King thought one looked berry nice, and soon dere was six.
# (Chorus.)
six ºttle niggers looking all alive,
One looked so berry plump dat soon dere was five.
Five little pickaninnies looking berry raw,
De King cookéd one to cure him, den dere was four.
(Chorus.)
14
Four little ne-ger-roes hunting for a flea,
One ob em cotched it, den dere was three.
Three little innocents playing with de flue,
One flew down him monarch throat, den dere was two.
(Chorus.)
Two little niggersizzies, thought they'd cut and run,
Berry soon I caught 'em up—den dere was one.
One little nigger, he was nought but skin and bone,
So we're keeping him and feeding him, until he's fatter grown.
(Chorus.)
SQUAw. What would do, you brute most cannibal-ish 2
Hoky. I'll shut you up, mum, in the Royal Pallish,
Unless you shut up dere. Come, cease dat bawling!
You are my squaw, so please leave off your squawling.
SQUAW. We women want our rights—
Hoky. Will some one check her l
- Women's rights Your name should have been Re-Becker,
My belle your tongue's by far too highly mettled,
De female sex can't vote at all—dat's settled.
Away! De king knows well what him about,
Him want to be alone. Retire, get out.
[the Guards and Court eacit. QUASH, and Savages bring on
- RoB. C. and Mrs. C.
Where am de pris'ners?
QUASH. Behold 'em, Sire.
HoKY. Tell dat dere cook to make a first-rate fire,
Mind dat it's clear—no smoke.
Mrs. C. What does he mean 2
HoKY. And take care dat de saucepan's berry clean.
RoB. C. I smell a rat. Oh, where shall we all go to ?
Mrs. C. You smell a rat—som-ouse, Sir. I do so, too!
The King's a hogling me.
[HoKY. comes down, admiring Mrs. C., who coquets.
Hoky. (to Mrs. C.) You pretty thing,
Ob all dese parts round here, I am de king,
Monarch of all dat I survey—you see.
Mrs. C. Begging your parding, which you're not of me.
I'm married—
HoKY, (sighing, dºc.) More de pity. I could eat you.
Mrs. C. To a good thrashing I should like to treat you.
Your wife's a looking.
Hoky. Wife I got a dozen.
[goes up with his arm round Mrs. C.’s waist. SQUAW has been
making overtures to Rob. C.
SQUAW. (ogling him) You do so much remind me of my cousin.
ROB. C. (digs her in the ribs) Hal go along.
SQUAw. . You are so lovely.
ROB. C. Yes,
I do show up these niggers I confess:
Amongs blacks we white parties get the pull.
SQUAW. You've such an air.
Rob. C. Just so, whilst theirs is wool.
SQUAw.(melo-dramatically) If you would kill the king and run away with me?
RoB.C. But, dearest, would you promise not to stay witHºme? - .
(aside.) I don't mind taking the black party's life,
But shouldn't so much care to take his wife.
Hoky. Ha, ha! (all jump.) How dare you? Dat our queen, unhand her.
15
ROB. C.
Hoky.
Mrs. C.
HOKY.
SQUAW.
Hoky.
SQUAW.
HoKY.
ROB. C.
Mrs. C.
HOKY.
SQUAW.
HOKY.
SQUAW.
HoKY.
' Chorus.
EI.F.
Rubbish, what's sauce for goose is sauce for gander.
You talk of sauce for goose, you'll find what dat is,
Dis old gal we shall dish up into patties.
Make me a patty 2 Agony Oh dear!
Yes, Patti always is successful here,
And as for you. *
Him under our protection.
You are a-never mind—an interjection.
It shall not be, just keep your eye on me,
And shortly you shall see what you shall see.
| the queen rushes off.
What hol there, call each culinary slavey,
And serve de couple hot with lots of gravy.
[the cooks of HoRY. enter with requisite cooking utensils, and
prepare the fire for the feast. IłoB. C. and Mrs. C. fall on
their knees imploringly.
l'or once to your dread monarch be undutiful,
Remember we're so young.
And we're so beautiful.
[the SQUAW rushes on with her black amazons, who overpower
the KING's attendants. ROB. C. and Mrs. C. fall howling
into each others arms. They are torn asunder.
What am de matter?
- You're no longer King,
We mean to rise, and all that sort of thing.
Behold my amazons, as each one fights,
You'd better mind their lefts as well as rights.
And as we mean to fight—you'll find we will—
Our most appropriate war cry shall be MILL | -
Cook him 1 (to HoRY.) at once her spouse the Queen deposes.
Cook him at once
Cook me / Oh, jumping Moses'
Oh, yes, cook him like his picaninnee,
Cook him like his picaninnee,
Cook him like his picaninnee,
Put him in the pot
With the gravy hot,
And end his tyrannee.
Oh, no cook me like a picaninnee,
Cook me like a picaninnee,
Cook me like a picaninnee,
Put me in the pot
With the gravy hot,
That won't do for me.
Oh, yes, cook him like his picaninnee,
Cook him like his picaninnee,
Cook him like his picaninnee,
I’ut him in the pot
With the gravy hot,
And end his tyrannee.
[The SQUAw carries off Rob. C., followed by her amazons. The
Savages seize the KING, and prepare to carry out the SQUAw's
orders.
SCENE IX.
º THE WIGWAMI.
Enter ELF, laughing.
Hal haſ proud fairy, so you thought to keep
This island to yourself, but I'm as deep

Chorus.
S. FAIRY.
ELF.
16
As deep as-Garrick, as the saying is,
And I can delve so low, or fly up fizz,
Like a champagne cork up into the sky.
The tricksiest of little elves am I.
Talk of your Ariel, Puck, and such like spirits,
Without the least detracting from their demerits,
They're quite rococo passé sort of fays
In these express and big ballooning days,
When we e'en pierce the secrets of the sky,
So that we don't march with the times—we fly.
SoNG, “Balloon.”
The time has gone by,
When 'twas wondrous to fly,
Ev'ry one now
Can do it I vow,
Over the mountain,
And under the sea
Flies electricitee.
Words that were uttered by drawling M.P.
What the result of the polling may be,
Fly through the universe ever so soon ;
Fact, it's old fashioned to talk of balloon.
Up in a balloon, boys, up in a balloon,
No one thinks of trying it who isn't quite a spoon.
Up in a balloon, boys, up in a balloon,
The telegraph has totally bust up the old balloon.
To sail through the air
In a giant balloon,
Folks really bought,
A seat as they ought,
In fact, for precedence,
Sometimes have they fought,
And fancied it quite a boon,
And small dirty boys
Would shout out in the street,
Till policemen would charge them and make them retreat,
When they'd all howl delight to a kind of tune,
And the words they would utter would be “yar balloon.”
Shouting yar barloon, boys, shouting yar barloon,
Sailing through the summer sky in pleasant month of June.
I think I hear a little chap,
A little cockney coon,
Exclaiming, “What a lark just to be up in a barloon.”
[exit ELF.
Enter SEDATE FAIRY.
That rascal Cupid really has upset us,
To think the squaw should fall into his fetters,
It's the old rule in love it seems to me,
A rule that always goes by contrary.
Fat folks lean tºwards the thin, and vicey versy,
Lean ladies fond of cash affect the pursy,
Small men like mighty wives, but is it right
A blackey-moor should run off with a white 2
Enter ELF hastily.
But there's Othello, he was a fine fellow,
Though he was only just a brownish yellow.
S. FAIRy. But that wretch Crusoe's married.
* 17
ELF. Ah, but we
Elves don't object much to polygamy
With human individuals like those,
It's what the French would call une autre chose,
Which when translated don't its sound much lose,
Une autre chose, “another pair of shoes.”
S. FAIRY. I yet shall win the day, presumptuous elf.
ELF. I think my arts will triumph, ma'am, myself.
S. FAIRY. On their own merits modest elves are dumb.
ELF. But I'm an elf that isn't modest, mum,
But as they say in melo-drame “they come !”
[S. FAIRY and ELF retire opposite sides.
Enter SQUAw and CRUsor.
S. FAIRY. Let's be invisible to mortal eyes
Just for a little, and their eyes surprise
With a remark or two.
ELF. All right, I’m game.
There ! I'm invisible.
S. FAIRY. There ! I’m the same.
SQUAW. Oh Crusoe, Crusoe, wherefore art thou, Crusoe 2
I do so love you, Crusoe, which I do so.
Rob. C. As you love me, sweet Blacky, I love you so.
'Tis true I have a wife.
SQUAW. You beauteous creature,
With true nobility in every feature;
E’en as you mention her the tear-drop trickles.
My love for you, sweet pale face, is all—
ELF. Pickles.
SQUAw. (offended.) I wonder at you,
Rob. C. Love, I didn't speak.
S. FAIRy. You ought to be had up before the beak |
RoB. C. (to SQUAw.) What do you mean by that?
SQUAW. Eh mealſ by what?
Here comes my husband, followed by a lot
Of his late subjects. If we're caught—let's go.
[Hoky rushes on, followed by savages.
Hoky. Mercy keep off! I've never been your foe.
Spare me, I'm old and tough Oh, horror horror |
Let me—oh let me live until to-morrer.
See—see they collar me, they hold me tight,
And there the dreadful cauldron meets my sight,
In which,-oh, agony l—it can't be true—
You wouldn't of your monarch make a stew 2
It's stew disgraceful. But behold the cook,
With flashing knife and fork, and furious look
Approaches. Don't! you can't, you shan’t, you mustn't
[falls on knees.
Treat your great monarch like an old cock fuzzant,
Nor must you, least you'd suffer from remorse,
Serve him with your extremely ill-bred sauce.
[rising with dignity
Stand back! I am your king, [the savages frightened, rush off.
They own my power. [turns, sees Rob. C. and SQUAw.
What do I see? The foreigner, the giaour,
13
18
The vile outside barbarian, the stranger
And she—she smiles upon him He's in danger!
I'll have his blood / I don't know what he got of it,
But whatsoe'er there is, I'll have the lot of it.
Intrusive party, die [about to stab Rob. C., SQUAw protects him.
ROB. C. What would you do?
HoKY. Make mincemeat on dis berry spot of you.
[the KING rushes with his dagger at Rob. C., and is about
to dispatch him. MRS. C. rushes on, and interposes.
MRs. C. Kill him, but first kill me.
HoKY. Me softened quite.
Mrs. C. Although the verdict would be “sarve him right,”
We wives are so forgiving—he deserted,
He left his wife and babbies, and he flirted
Along with this black female, but I'm sure
He's quite repented of his black amour.
And he'll return.
Rob. C. Oh, won't he. [rushes into MRs. C.’s arms.
[ELF and S. FAIRY come forward.
ELF. There you see,
Men ain't so wicked as they seem to be.
S. FAIRY. Oh yes, they are, but really, Mrs. C.,
Does quite surprise me. I give in.
ELF. You do 2
S. FAIRY. I think I'll go in for a husband too.
ELF. (bowing.) Hem you don't say so, let me introduce,
One who would
S. FAIRY. Hold your tongue, you little goose,
My scheme has failed.
HoKY. (who has been talking to Squaw.) You'll neber flirt no more ?
Mrs. C. (to Rob. C.) There's a big trading vessel near the shore,
And you'll come home.
RoB. C. Rather.
Mrs. C. That will be splendid.
ELF. It seems, then, that our jolly row has ended.
S. FAIRy. Yes, I give in, I won't go on at men,
Ever again.
ELF. I may come now and then 2
S. FAIRY. Yes, now and then. *.
ELF. You fill me with delight.
I'll pop in, then, and see you every night.
FINALE.
AIR-Tommy Dodd.
ELF. We to our several homes will go,
w And not forget the past. -
S. FAIRY. And let us hope our lessons will
Prove lessons that will last.
SQUAW. Through trials and temptations we
Mrs. C. Triumphantly have gone.
Hoxy. The King shall have his own again,
RoB. C. And she her Robinson,
19
ELF. Pray don't forget poor Robinson.
Robinson, Robinson,
Pray don't forget poor Robinson;
Robinson, Robinson,
Pray don't forget poor Robinson;
Robinson, Robinson.
But with a cheer
Dispel the fear
Of Crusoe Robinson, [repeated.
THE SCENE CHANGEs To
C O R A L L I A.
THE MERMAID'S HAUNT.
THE FAIRY OF THE DEEP. Those who have figured in to-night's burlesque
Must now take shapes e'en more strange and grotesque,
Forms that despise all order, rule, and quiet,
And in the world of foolery run riot,
As suits this gladsome season of the year.
Columbine, Harlequin, at once appear !
[HARLEQUIN and CoIUMBINE appear.
And now that tottering ill-used Christmas “coon"
Who suffers so severely—Pantaloon.
[PANTALOON appears.
And lastly all dark thoughts in fun to drown
Appear, delightful, jovial, Christmas Clown.
[CLOWN appears.
And now with trip, skip, jump, thump, and rough jollity,
Give us a taste, please, of your Christmas quality.
H A R L E QUIN A D E.
Mr. FRED, PAYNE
Harlequin, tº e gº º tº e e tº
Columbine, e tº e e © e Madlle. ESTA
Pantaloon, e tº ... Mr. PAULO
Clown, © tº c e © º Mr. HARRY PAYNE
POLICE STATION AND PIE SHOP.
[W. CUTHBERT
Introducing Mr. DOUGHTY'S TROUPE OF HIGHLY TRAINE) DOGS,
The Musgowite by Mr. FRED PAYNE and Madlle. ESTA.
Rimmel's Costume Crackers.
“A cheap Breakfast Table,”—Clown in his cups. “Pie Corner,”—
Questionable game, and unsavoury revelation—Crackers and Capers—
“A thing of beauty is (not) a joy for ever,” but a joke for the Clown—
Pain's inside and outside—The mere ghost of authority–Sirius in
. . … … … --~~~~~~~~rº
20
the ascendant–Everything going to the Dogs—Clown as well. Won-
derful Feats of Canine Sagacity—Playful Puppies—General application
of Whine and Bark—Booked to Barking viá
THE BULL AND Mo UT H.
zoso's 0x10xar ground
ETON AND HARROW DAY. [CANEY
A matchless match played by matchless Cricketers—overhand v. Sneak—
“How's that, Umpire?”—Clown stirs his stumps—Goes in and wont go
out—Fashionable arrivals.
THE LADIES OF THE PERIOD.*
(T H E C R I C K E T E R s” R E V E L)+
FASHIONS of 1869, by GRANT & GASK, Oxford Street,
CITY IMPROVEMENTS (WHEELER & Co., Poultry.) [DAYEs
Feminine deception—Clown's admiration of the antique—A perfect
model—Making a figure in the world—Uses and abuses of a Club—A
magical box—Never in and never out, yet always in and always out—
An old fashion revived—Clown in the chair—Pantaloon in the vice—The
tables turned by goals l—They reach the goal of their ambition and the
end of their fun, which is an introduction to
§§§ {{{ſº} @#' ºf §
* The Gloves worn by the Ladies of the Period supplied by Messrs.
WHEELER & Co., Poultry.
+ The Cricket Bats supplied by WISDEN, New Coventry Street.`
t
friated by J. MILES & Co. 122, Wardour Street, Oxford Street-W.