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ARTES
LIBRARY
CANTATA
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1837
VERITAS
UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN
W
PLURIOUS UNUM
TUEBOR
SCIENTIA
SI-QUÆRIS-PENINSULAM AMŒŒNAM.
CIRCUMSPICE
JAURES
OF THE
LUCIUS·L
HUBBARD
HOUGHTON
MICHIGAN
JAJAJAJA
LILIARY
THE
WORKS OF DEAN SWIFT.
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS
INTO
Several Bemote Nations of the World
BY
DEAN SWIFT.
WITH A LIFE OF THE AUTHOR BY REV. JOHN MITFORD,
AND
COPIOUS NOTES BY W. C. TAYLOR, LL.D.
PHILADELPHIA:
J. B. LIPPINCOTT & Co.
1873.
PREFACE TO THE AMERICAN EDITION.
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS, which are here presented in
an accessible and attractive form, have been justly
styled "a great moral romance." A grave and
serious purpose is hidden under the disguise of the
wildest invention and the most grotesque humor.
The original design of the Voyage to Lilliput was to
satirize the enemies of the author. The story is but
the shaft and feathering of the arrow, which give
force and direction to its barbed head. The notes
appended to this edition point out, as far as possible
after so many years, the immediate objects satirized.
Had it, however, only a personal aim, the book would
have perished with the persons and events to which
it owed its origin; but as a keen and biting satire
upon follies and vices of perennial growth, it has
acquired a lasting reputation. Lilliput is not the only
nation where high offices, lofty stations, and great
employments are gained by creeping and crawling
before the governing power, whether prince or popu-
lace. The petty game of court intrigue and state
policy is none the less contemptible because the play-
ers are six feet instead of as many inches high The
И
PREFACE.
seven-inch monarch of Lilliput had as good a right
to the passive obedience of his subjects as have his
seven-feet brethren. Viewed from the height of a few
hundred feet, we are no larger than the Lilliputians.
From the distance of the moon-but a step into infi-
nite space-kingdoms would seem less than ant-hills.
The distinction between High-heels and Low-heels is
quite as intelligible and important as many in respect
to which party lines have been most strictly drawn.
Our theological world has been convulsed by contro-
versies Filioque, Homoousian, and Ilomoiousian, to
say nothing of others of more recent date-not a whit
more essential than that of the Big-endians and the
Little-endians, and which have been none the less
fiercely waged because neither party was able to
comprehend his own opinion or that of his adversary.
But while follies and vices become ridiculous and
odious when enlarged to Brobdingnagian or con-
tracted to Lilliputian dimensions, no noble deed, lofty
purpose, or wise aim loses anything of its worth or
dignity. These arise not from our acts-which are
all, great as well as small, infinitely little-but from
the spirit in which they are performed.
The Life of Swift presents a practical satire no less
keen than his writings, and its perusal will furnish
food for the considerate, and reproof to the way war.
and reckless.
Memoir of Dean Swift
CONTENTS.
PART I.
him.
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
CHAPTER I.
The author gives some account of himself and family-His inducements to
travel-He is shipwrecked, and swims for his life-Gets safe on shore in the
country of Lilliput-Is made a prisoner, and carried up the country
85
CHAPTER II.
108
The Emperor of Lilliput, attended by several of the nobility, comes to see the
author in his confinement-The Emperor's person and habits described.-Learned
men appointed to teach the author their language-He gains favour by his mild
disposition-His pockets are searched, and his sword and pistols taken from
100
CHAPTER III.
18
CHAPTER IV.
The author diverts the Emperor, and his nobility of both sexes, in a very uncommon
manner-The diversions of the court of Lilliput described-The author har
uberty granted him upon certain conditions
118
Mildendo, the metropolis of Lilliput, described, together with the emperor's palace
-A conversation between the author and a principal secretary, concerning the
affairs of that empire-The author offers to serve the emperor in his wars . 124
vi
viii
CONTENTS.
CHAPTER V.
The author, by an extraordinary stratagem, prevents an invasion-A high title of
honour is conferred on him-Ambassadors arrive from the Emperor of Blefuscu
and sue for peace-The Empress's apartments on fire by accident; the author
instrumental in saving the rest of the palace
131
PAGE
CHAPTER VI.
Of the inhabitants of Lilliput; their learning, laws, and customs; the manner of
educating their children-The author's way of living in that country-His vindi-
cation of a great lady
140
CHAPTER VII.
The author being informed of a design to accuse him of high treason, makes his
escape to Blefuscu-His reception there
152
CHAPTER VIII.
The author, by a lucky accident, finds means to leave Blefuscu; and, after some
difficulties, returns safe to his native country
168
PART II.
▲ VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.
CHAPTER I.
A great storm descried; the long boat sent to fetch water, the author goes with it
to discover the country-He is left on shore, is seized by one of the natives and
carried to a farmer's house-His reception, with several accidents that happened
there-A description of the inhabitants
175
CHAPTER II.
A description of the farmer's daughter-The author carried to a market town, and
then to the Metropolis-The particulars of his journey
191
CHAPTER III.
The author sent for to court-The queen buys him of his master the farmer, and
presents him to the king-He disputes with his majesty's great scholars-An
apartment at court provided for the author-He is in high favour with the queen
-He stands up for the honour of his own country-His quarrels with the queen's
dwarf
198
CONTENTS.
ix
CHAPTER IV.
The country described-A proposal for correcting modern maps-The king's palace,
and some account of the metropolis-The author's way of travelling-The chief
temple described
210
CHAPTER V.
Several adventures that happened to the author-The execution of a criminal-The
author shows his skill in navigation
•
PAGE
CHAPTER VI.
Several contrivances of the author to please the king and queen-He shows his skill
in music-The king inquires into the state of England, which the author relates to
him-The king's observations thereon
227
PART III.
CHAPTER VII.
The author's love of his country-He makes a proposal of much advantage to the
king, which is rejected-The king's great ignorance in politics-The learning of
that country very imperfect and confined-The laws and military affairs, and
parties in the state
240
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, &C.
216
CHAPTER VIII.
The king and queen make a progress to the frontiers-The author attends them-
The manner in which he leaves the country very particularly related-He returns
to England
248
CHAPTER II.
CHAPTER I.
The Author sets out on his third voyage-Is taken by pirates-The malice of a
Dutchman-His arrival at an island-He is received in Laputa.
265
The humours and dispositions of the Laputians described-An account of their
learning-Of the king and his court-The author's reception there-The inhabit-
ants subject to fear and disquietudes-An account of the women
272
X
CONTENTS.
CHAPTER III.
A phenomenon solved by modern philosophy and astronomy. The Laputians'
great improvement in the latter. The king's method of suppressing insurrec-
tions
281
CHAPTER IV.
The Author leaves Laputa; is conveyed to Balnibarbi; arrives at the metropolis
-A description of the metropolis, and the country adjoining-The Author hos-
pitably received by a great lord-His conversation with that lord
287
CHAPTER V.
PAUS
•
The Author permitted to see the grand academy of Lagado-The academy largely
described-The arts wherein the professors employ themselves
294
CHAPTER VI.
A further account of the academy-The Author proposes some improvements,
which are honourably received
•
•
CHAPTER VIII.
A farther account of Glubbdubdrib-Ancient and modern history corrected
CHAPTER VII.
The Author leaves Lagado, arrives at Maldonada-No ship ready-He takes a
voyage to Glubbdubdrib-His reception by the governor.
809
802
814
CHAPTER IX.
The Author returns to Maldonada-Sails to the kingdom of Luggnagg-The Author
confined-He is sent for to court-The manner of his admittance-The king's
great lenity to his subjects
821
CHAPTER X.
The Luggnaggians commended-A particular description of the Struldbrugs, with
many conversations between the Author and some eminent persons upon that
subject
825
CHAPTER XI.
The Author leaves Luggnagg, and sails to Japan-From thence he returns in a
Dutch ship to Amsterdam, and from Amsterdam to England
885
CONTENTS.
xi
PART IV.
▲ VOYAGE TO THE COUNTRY OF THE HOUYHNHNMS.
CHAPTER I.
•
The Author sets out as captain of a ship-His men conspire against him, confine
him a long time to his cabin, and set him on shore in an unknown land-IIe
travels up into the country-The Yahoos, & strange sort of animal, described-The
Author meets two Houyhnhams
CHAPTER IL
CHAPTER III.
The Author conducted by a Houyhnhnm to his house-The house described-The
Author's reception-The food of the Houyhnhnmns-The Author in distress for
want of meat-Is at last relieved-His manner of feeding in this country 349
CHAPTER IV.
PASS
The Author studies to learn the language-The Houyhnhnm, his master, assists in
teaching hin-The language described- Several Houyhnhnms of quality come out
of curiosity to see the Author-He gives his master a short account of his
voyage
856
CHAPTER V.
841
The Houynhnin's notion of truth and falsehood-The Author's discourse disap
proved by his master-The Author gives a more particular account of himself
and the accidents of his voyage.
863
CHAPTER VI.
The Author, at his master's commands, informs him of the state of England-The
causes of war among the princes of Europe-The author begins to explain the
English constitution
869
CHAPTER VII.
A continuation of the state in England under Queen Anne-The character of a
first minister of state in European courts
877
The Author's great love of his native country-Ilis master's observations upon the
constitution and administration of England, as described by the Author, with
parallel cases and comparisons-His master's observations upon human na
ture
880
xii
CONTENTS.
bly.
CHAPTER VIII.
The Author relates several particulars of the Yahoos-The great virtues of the
Houyhnhnmus-The education and exercise of their youth-Their general assem-
894
CHAPTER IX.
PAGE
A grand debate at the general assembly of the Houyhnhnms, and how it was deter
mined-The learning of the Houyhnhnms-Their buildings-Their manner of
burials-The defectiveness of their language
401
CHAPTER X.
The Author's economy, and happy life, among the Houyhnhnms-His great improve
ment in virtue by conversing with them-Their conversations-The Author has
notice given him by his master, that he must depart from the country-He falls
into a swoon for grief: but submits-He contrives and finishes a canoe by the
help of a fellow-servant, and puts to sea at a venture
407
•
CHAPTER XI.
The Author's dangerous voyage-He arrives at New Holland, hoping to settle there
-Is wounded with an arrow by one of the natives-Is seized and carried by force.
Into a Portuguese ship-The great civilities of the captain-The Author arrives
at England
416
CHAPTER XII.
The Author's veracity-His design in publishing this work-His censure of those
travellers who swerve from the truth-The Author clears himself from any sinister
ends in writing-An objection answered-The method of planting colonies-His
native country commended-The right of the crown to those countries described by
the Author, is justified-The difficulty of conquering them-The Author takes his
last leave of the reader; proposes his manner of living for the future; gives good
495
advice, and concludes
LIFE OF SWIFT.
BY THE REVEREND JOHN MITFORD.
70
JONATHAN SWIFT, the Dean of St. Patrick's, Dublin, was
descended from the younger branch of the family of the
Swifts in Yorkshire. His grandfather was the Rev. Thomas
Swift, vicar of Goodrich, in Herefordshire. He died in the
year 1658, leaving ten sons and three or four daughters, with
no other fortune than a very small patrimonial estate, almost
destroyed by the fines and sequestrations which he drew on
himself for his activity in the cause of Charles I. Jonathan
Swift, the father of our author, was the sixth or seven son of
the Vicar of Goodrich; in consequence of his elder brother,
Godwin, being appointed attorney-general of the palatinate
of Tipperary, under the Duke of Ormond, after the Restora
tion, Jonathan, who was also bred to the law, followed him.
into Ireland. There he married Abigail Ericke, of Leicester-
shire, a lady of ancient family, but no fortune. In Ireland he
had some employments and agencies, and was appointed
steward to the Society of the King's Inn, Dublin, in 1665.
18
14
LIFE OF SWIFT.
After having held his appointment two years, he died, leaving
an infant daughter, and his widow then pregnant, in so desti-
tute a situation as to be unable to defray the expenses of her
husband's funeral. Her brother-in-law, Godwin, was her chief
support. On the 30th of November, 1667, being St. Andrew's
Day, she was delivered of a son; and the house where the
celebrated author, whose life we are now writing, was born
is still pointed out. It is No. 7, of Hoey's Court, Dublin; the
appearance of its antiquity seems not to oppose the correctness
of the tradition; it is small, and was, not many years since,
occupied by Mrs. Jackson, a dealer in earthenware.
The nurse to whom the care of the infant was entrusted
was a native of Whitehaven; being summoned to attend the
request of a dying relation, she clandestinely, but out of pure
affection, carried away the child with her. His mother was
unwilling to risk the insecurity of a second voyage, and per-
mitted it to remain with its faithful and affectionate protector
for three years, when she returned to Ireland, and proved that
she had been as careful of its education as she was attached
to its person.
At the age of six, Swift was sent to the school of Kilkenny,
and at fourteen admitted into the University of Dublin. He
was entirely dependent for his support upon the allowance
made to him by his uncle Godwin; this was hardly more
than would cover the necessities of life, for his uncle had a
numerous family of his own, and had much injured his fortune
by imprudent speculations. Swift was either not aware of
his uncle's circumstances, or if he were, the smallness of his
beneficence was not enough to awaken his gratitude; for
LIFE OF SWIFT.
15
when once questioned about it, rather roughly, at a visitation.
dinner, he answered the insulting question in a loud and bitter
accent,--“Yes, he gave me the education of a dog!"
While he was at the university, he appears to have disliked
and neglected the line of study which was at that time culti-
vated; and a proficiency in which was necessary for the
attainment of his degree. Instead of mastering the intrica-
cies of the old Treatises on Logic, written by those great
men, Smeglesius, Kechermanus, and Burgesdicius, he passed
his time more agreeably in reading poetry and history, and
he told his tutor that he could reason without the assistance
of the artificial rules of logic. There is a proof, however,
that though he turned aside from the path of academic study,
his voluntary reading was extensive and various, for he had
drawn up a rough sketch of the Tale of a Tub, which he com-
municated to his friend, Mr. Waryng. The first time he sat
for his degree it was refused him; and so pertinaciously did
he adhere to his determination not to attend to the necessary
line of studies, that when he went up a second time he suc-
ceeded only through the interest of his friends.
It was
inserted in the College Register that he attained his degree
Speciali gratia. In going through the forms of disputation,
he told Dr. Sheridan that he was utterly unacquainted even
with the logical terms, and answered the arguments of his
opponents in his own manner and words. His biographer
adds, that there was one circumstance in the account which
Swift gave him that surprised him with regard to his memory;
for he told him the several questions on which he disputed,
and repeated all the arguments used by his opponents in their
16
LIFE OF SWIFT.
syllogistic forms. He remained in the college nearly three
years after this, not through choice, but necessity. Little
known or regarded by scholars, he was esteemed a block-
head; and as the lowness of his circumstances would not
allow him to keep company of an equal rank with himself,
or on an equal footing, he scorned to take up with those of a
lower class, or to be obliged to those of a higher. He lived
therefore much alone, and his time was employed in pur-
suing his course of reading in history and poetry, then very
unfashionable studies for an academic, or in gloomy medita-
tions on his own unhappy circumstances.
Soon after this time, his uncle Godwin was seized with a
lethargy, which rendered him incapable of business, and the
embarrassed state of his affairs became known. Another
uncle, William, for a short period, supplied to our author the
place of his former benefactor; and though he had not the
means of enlarging the extent of his bounty, he bestowed it
with so much more willingness and grace, as to receive that
gratitude from Swift which he deserved. But Swift's chief
hopes now rested on his cousin Willoughby, the eldest son
of his uncle Godwin, a merchant at Lisbon; nor was he dis-
appointed in his expectations; a supply arrived at the very
time when it was needed, and the incidents attending it shall
be related in the words of his biographer: "Swift, without a
penny in his purse, was despondingly looking out of his
chamber window to gape away the time, and happened to
cast his eye on a sea-faring man, who seemed to be making
inquiries after somebody's chambers; the thought immedi
ately came into his head that this might be some master of a
LIFE OF SWIFT.
17
vessel, who was the bearer of a present to him from his cou
sin at Lisbon. He saw him enter the building with pleasing
expectation, and soon after heard a rap at his door, which he
eagerly opening, was accosted by the sailor with, 'Is your
name Jonathan Swift?' 'Yes.' Why then, I have some-
thing for you from Master Willoughby Swift of Lisbon.' He
then drew out a large leather bag, and poured out the con
tents, which were silver coins, upon the table. Swift, enrap-
tured at the sight, in the first transports of his heart, pushed
over a large number of them, without reckoning, to the sailor,
as a reward for his trouble; but the honest tar declined
taking any, saying, That he would do more than that for good
Master Willoughby. This was the first time that Swift's dis-
position was tried with regard to the management of money;
and he said that the reflections of his constant suffering
through the want of it, made him husband it so well, that he
was never afterward without something in his purse."
Soon after this, on the breaking out of the war in Ireland,
Swift left that country to visit his mother at Leicester, and to
consult with her on his future plans and prospects of life. He
was now in his one-and-twentieth year, not qualified by par-
ticular study for any profession, except, perhaps, for the
church; his academical reputation was not advantageous to
him; the recluseness of his life had rendered him little
known; and the spleen and severity of his temper had not
attracted many friends.
Without any letter of recommendation to introduce him
in England, and without any acquaintance who could assist
him, Swift left Chester on foot to visit a mother, who was
6
LIFE OF SWIFT.
18
herself dependent on the precarious bounty of her friends.
With her he remained some months, and requested her
advice as to the course which he should pursue. Most fortu-
nately she recollected that the lady of Sir William Temple
was her relation, that there had been an intimacy between
the families, that Thomas Swift had been chaplain to Sir
William Temp.e, and had been provided for by him in the
church. She therefore recommended her son to go to Sir
William Temple, and communicate to him his depressed situ
ation and gloomy prospects. When he arrived at Shene, the
residence of the retired statesman, his story was listened to
with compassionate attention; he was cheerfully received into
his house, and treated with kindness and generosity. Although
he was not admitted to much personal familiarity with his
illustrious kinsman, yet he found in his house what was of inval-
uable advantage, sound advice with regard to the prosecution
of his studies, and a secure and elegant retirement, where he
could pursue them undisturbed.
For eight years he followed a system of study, according to
his own account, of not less than eight hours a day. Among
other books, he is known to have read Cyprian and Iranæus.
The first interruption of this studious course of life, was occa-
sioned by an illness produced by a surfeit of fruit, which brought
on a coldness of stomach and giddiness of head that he never
afterwards could shake off. At one time, his physician
advised that he should try the effects of his native air, and he
left Moor Park (to which Sir William had removed) for Ire-
land; but finding himself worse, he returned, and when his ill-
ness abated, resumed with fresh vigour his interrupted studies
LIFE OF SWIFT.
19
About this time, Sir William Temple began to discover
some of the valuable parts of his relative's character; and
Swift says, that he then grew in confidence with him. He
was present at the confidential interviews between King
William and the statesman; and when the latter was confined
to his room with the gout, the duty of attending on the king
devolved on Swift. It is said, that the king offered him a
a troop of horse; and he showed him how to cut asparagus
after the Dutch fashion. It is probable that he obtained some
promise of preferment in the church; for, in a letter dated
1692, he says to his uncle, "I am not to take orders till the
king gives me a prebend."
In 1692, he went to Oxford to take his Master's degree, to
which he was admitted on the 5th of July, 1692. From
Oxford he paid a visit to his mother, and then returned to
Moor Park. He now was anxious to establish himself inde-
pendently in the world, and he looked for the preferment
which had been promised. But suspicions grew in his mind
that Sir William Temple was not so forward in assisting him
as he could wish, and feared that Swift would leave him
when he was provided for. Perhaps his society was become
not only convenient and agreeable, but even necessary to one
far advanced in life, declining in health and afflicted with
painful disorders. Besides, Temple was very anxious to
have an accurate and correct copy of all his writings; and
Swift's assistance in this respect was invaluable. The work,
however, which the aged and experienced statesman was to
bequeath to posterity, advanced but slowly, and Swift's impa
bence could ill bear any longer delay. After remaining two
20
LIFE OF SWIFT.
years longer at Moor Park, he determimed to leave his patron
and take his chance in the world. Sir William received the
communication with marks of displeasure; but offered him a
small place, worth about a hundred pounds a year, then
vacant in Ireland: Swift replied, "That since he had now an
opportunity of living without being driven into the church for
a maintenance, he was resolved to go to Ireland to take holy
orders." This answer conveyed his belief in the insincerity,
and his feelings of the indelicacy of Sir William's proposal;
and they parted with resentment at least on one side, and dis-
pleasure on both.
He procured a slight recommendation to Lord Capel, then
ord deputy of Ireland, and was ordained in September, 1694.
being then almost twenty-seven years old. Soon after, Lord
Capel gave him the prebend of Kilroot, in the diocese of
Connor, worth about a hundred pounds a year. To this place.
Swift repaired to discharge the duties of his office, and taste,
for the first time, the sweets of independence. But there
were many serious drawbacks on his happiness; he was placed
in a very obscure situation and in a half civilized country;
he enjoyed none of the charms of society, or the advantages.
of enlightened conversation: his mind looked back with regret.
to the delights which Moor Park had so long afforded; he
was also reluctant that his talents and his ambition
should be buried in the seclusion of a distant and deserted
place; and having received a kind letter from Sir William.
hi aself, which proved that all animosities had subsided, and
vich contained an invitation to his house, Swift resigned
Las living, and hastened to England, after a little more than
LIFT OF SWIFT.
21
4 vear's absence. His residence with Sir William Temple
was now voluntary; and they appear to have lived in mutual
confidence and esteem. Swift maintained his same diligent pur-
suit of study, and performed the duties of chaplain in the family.
Swift took on himself the office of preceptor to a niece of
Sir W. Temple, who resided in the house; and, at the same
time, Miss Esther Johnson, so well known as Stella, shared
the benefits of the instructor. Miss Johnson was daughter
of a gentleman of good family in Nottingham, by profession a
merchant in London; she was about fourteen years of age,
very beautiful, possessing fine talents, and it is not to be won-
dered at, that Swift took peculiar pleasure in cultivating and
improving her mind, though he probably little thought how
closely their fortunes and their fame were hereafter to be
united. He wrote his digressions in the Tale of a Tub and
the Battle of the Books at this time.
Sir W. Temple died in the year 1699, leaving Swift a
legacy and the advantage to be derived from publishing his
posthumous writings. He also obtained from King William
a promise of a stall at Canterbury or Westininister for him.
How much Swift esteemed him, may be seen in a part of the
register which he kept of Sir William's illness, where he con-
cludes:-" He died at one o'clock in the morning, and with
him all that was great and good among men." From another
memorandum copied by Thomas Steele, Esq. jun. we have
this further character of his patron :-He was a person of the
greatest wisdom, justice, liberality, politeness, elegance, of his
age and nation. The truest lover of his country, and one
that deserves more from it, by his eminent public services
22
LIFE OF SWIFT.
than any man before or since, besides his great deserving of
the commonwealth of having been universally esteemed the
most accomplished writer of his time."
On the death of Sir W. Temple, Swift removed to London,
and his first care was to discharge the trust reposed on him
of publishing a full and correct edition of his patron's works.
This he dedicated to the king. After waiting some time for
the fulfilment of the promise made for his advancement in
the church, he addressed a memorial to the monarch; but it is
said that Swift had reason to believe that the Earl of Romney,
who promised to second it with all his interest, in fact, sup-
pressed it, and never mentioned it at all.
After waiting
some time in vain, he relinquished his hopes of preferment and
accepted the offer made to him by Lord Berkeley, of
attending him to Ireland as his private secretary and chaplain.
When they arrived at Dublin, he found himself supplanted in
ais former office by a person of the name of Bush, who had
ingratiated himself into his lordship's favour. Swift's indigna-
tion, ever ready to awaken at the first appearance of insult,
took flame, and he lampooned without mercy the governor and
his new made secretary, in a copy of verses that were widely
circulated. The rich deanery of Derry now fell vacant and
Swift applied for it. Lord Berkeley said it had been promised
to Bush for another, but that perhaps the affair might be
arranged. Swift had an interview with the secretary, who
frankly told him that he was to have a thousand pounds for
it. Swift knew this could not be done without Lord
Berkeley's participation, and made no other answer than
"God confound you both for a couple of rascals." He then
LIFE OF SWIFT.
23
+
:
eft the castle, resolving to see him no more. Lord Berkeley
was, however, unwilling to exasperate a person who could so
successfully revenge himself, and he therefore presented him
to the rectory of Agher, and the vicarage of Laracor and
Rath-beggin, in the diocese of Meath. They were not worth,
in value, one third of the deanery, but Swift had experienced
sufficiently the uncertainty of courtly promises, to trust much
to the chances of the future, he, therefore, accepted them,
and kept on friendly terms with his lordship, one inducement
to which was, the respect he felt for the Countess, whose vir-
tues and excellencies he has praised in his introduction to the
Project for the Advancement of Religion.
It was at this time that his talent in light and humorous
poetry was first displayed, which he wrote for the amusement
of his lordship's family; but when the government of Ireland
devolved on another person, Swift retired to his living at Lar-
acor, conscientiously discharging the duties of his office. It
appears, from some letters which have found their way into
the world, that he had been enamoured of a young lady of
the name of Jane Waryng, sister of his chamber-fellow at col-
lege. As she had a slender fortune of about £100 a year
and Swift at that time was in possession of no certain income,
her good sense and prudence made her resolve to delay their
union till they were in possession of an income competent to
their support. A letter from Swift dated April, 1696, is pub-
lished, which is written in the usual style of a complaining
lover, and which accuses his Varina of formality and coldness
and too great an observance of the customs and opinions of
the world. He tells her, "that he has resolved to die as he
24
LIFE OF SWIFT.
has lived-all hers; and that matrimony is a just and honor-
able action, which would furnish health to her." After he
had obtained his preferment, which amounted to about £400
a year, Varina having her only objection removed, naturally
looked forward to the fulfilment of their engagement; but
the fascination of a more attractive person had begun to show
its influence over our faithless lover's heart. A second letter
appears, four years after the one montioned (May, 1700), in
which there is a very remarkable alteration of style and
address. It is written in the terms of one anxious to escape
from a connection which he regrets ever to have formed.
Every trifling excuse is found, and every imaginable impedi-
ment introduced, and there are demands made by him, and
expressions used, which put their union on a footing so
humiliating to a lady, that certainly no female could for a
moment have entertained the idea of acquiescing in such a
proposal. Though I have had no experience in love myself,
and am ignorant of the sensibilities and feelings of the female
heart, yet I should think no lady could expect to be ques-
tioned by her lover concerning the state of her health and the
cleanliness of her person; but the true cause of Swift's declin-
ing affections were now to be more clearly seen.
Stella, for so Esther Johnson must hereafter be called, was
Dow eighteen; after the death of Sir W. Temple she resided
with a lady of the name of Dingley, who was related to the
family of Temple. Stella's fortune consisted of one thousand
pounds, bequeathed by Sir William, and Mrs. Dingley's annu
ity was exceedingly small. When Swift, therefore, proposed
to both the ladies to come over to Ireland to reside, where
LIFE OF SWIFT.
25
the interest of the money was greater, and the price of living
much less, it is no wonder that the invitation was received
with pleasure. Soon after the arrival they took a lodging at
Trim, a town situated near Laracor, and their presence and
conversation reconciled him to his obscure retirement. Of
the softer and romantic qualities of the heart, which open the
avenues of love, Swift was entirely devoid; his mind was bent
on higher objects, and interested in busier and more ambitious
scenes. I have no doubt that he regarded the blooming and
beautiful Stella with the most sincere friendship, and with
something more than a brotherly fondness and affection; but
women turn everything into love. If Stella did not mistake
the nature of Swift's attachment, she did not consider the
other passions of his mind which might oppose or weaken it;
of most men she would probably have judged rightly; but
unfortunately she had to speculate on the motives of a person
eminently singular in his temper and thoughts, inclined
to move out of the road which leads to general happiness, and
to find one more congenial to his own disposition. There is
a kind of attachment which it is not always easy to distinguish
from love, and which is yet distinct from it; either Stella's
want of sagacity could not even separate these, or her
hopes and affections forced her to overlook the distinction.
An event took place a year or two after this time, which we
might conjecture would one way or another have brought
Swift's feelings to a decision, and cleared up all the past.
ambiguity of his conduct. Stella received an offer of mar-
riage from the Rev. Dr. Tisdall, a friend and companion of
Swift's. Swift was, of course, consulted by her, and, we may
2
26
LIFE OF SWIFT.
suppose, with no common anxiety as to the result of his
opinion. That he could not wish the offer to be accepted
must be obvious; but the answer which he returned to Dr.
fisdall certainly left the field open to his solicitations; he says,
"In answer, I will upon my honour and conscience, tell you
the naked truth. If my fortunes and humour served me to
think of that state, I should certainly, of all persons on earth,
make your choice, because I never saw that person whose con-
versation I entirely valued but hers. This was the utmost I
gave way to. And, secondly, I must assure you sincerely that
this regard of mine never once entered into my head to be
any impediment to you." The proposal was, however, declined
by Stella, doubtless from her great attachment to Swift, and
her hopes of seeing her happiness confirmed by his marriage
with her. "Swift," says Scott, " maintained a long acquaint-
ance with Tisdall without ever liking him, and he certainly
felt rivalry in the case of Stella.”
In 1701, Swift went to London, leaving his parish and his
charming companions, in the hopes, it is said, of discovering
some opportunity of distinguishing himself, and advancing
his fortune. He found the public mind in a ferment, occa-
sioned by the impeachment of the Earls of Portland an
Oxford, Lord Somers and Lord Halifax, by the House of
Commons, on account of their share in the Partition Treaty;
on this occasion he wrote his first political tract—“ A Dis-
course of the Contests and Dissensions of Athens and Rome."
The name of the author was for some time unknown; but on
his return to Ireland, in the heat of conversation, Swift con
fessed to Bishop Sheridan that he wrote it, while the Bishop
LIFE OF SWIFT.
27
insisted that it was written by Burnet: this is said to be the
only instance that Swift was ever known to have owned
directly any piece of his that came in secrecy before the public.
Early in the ensuing spring, King William died, and Swift,
on his next visit to London, found Queen Anne upon the
throne. The whigs had the whole adininistration of affairs
within their hands, and they looked on Swift as a staunch
adherent of their party; but he considered some of their
measures dangerous and unconstitutional, and declined all the
overtures which they anxiously made him. The principles
on which he professed to act were too moderate to please any
party, especially in a season of political excitement; more
especially he differed with them in what he considered their
indifference to the interests of the church. He described
himself at this period, in his Verses to Ardelia (Mrs. Finch),
as "
a whig, and one who wears a gown,", though a high
church whig, as Scott observes, was a political character of
which all parties refused to recognise the existence. He
withdrew, therefore, again to his living, performed fully and
exactly all the parochial duties of it. Once a year he visited
his mother in Leicestershire, and occasionally mingled in the
society of London. During those years he wrote little
except his Meditations on a Broomstick, and the Critical
Essay on the Faculties of the Mind. The former was a
sportive imitation of the style in which Boyle's Meditations
are written; and Swift gravely read it to Lady Berkeley as a
genuine effusion of that pious and learned author.
Swift, at this time, was not acquainted with many authors
of eminence. Congreve he had met at Sir William Temple's
28
LIFE OF SWIFT.
and a ludicrous account is given of his first interview with
Addison and Arbuthnot, at Button's Coffee House. But he
was soon to be brought into more general notice. In 1704,
the celebrated Tale of a Tub was published. Though it
appeared without a name, yet it had been often shown in
manuscript at Sir W. Temple's to his relatives and friends.
Swift, with singular indifference to fame, had kept this piece
by him for eight years after it had been completely finished.
Of this book Dr. Johnson says, "Charity may be persuaded
to think that it might be written by a man of peculiar char-
acter without ill intention; but it is certainly of dangerous
example." When this wild work first roused the attention
of the public, Sacheverell meeting Smalridge, tried to flatter
him, seeming to think him the author; but Smalridge
answered with indignation,-" Not all that you and I have
in the world, nor all that we shall ever have, should hire me
to write the Tale of a Tub." There can be no doubt but
that the offence given by this work proved to be the real bar
which prevented Swift's ever attaining an eminent situation in
the church. The author hath reason (said Atterbury) to con-
ceal himself, because of the profane strokes in that piece,
which would do his reputation and interest in the world more
harm than his wit can do him good. After the publication
of this work, Swift wrote nothing of consequence for three or
four years. He formed, however, a very close connexion with
Addison, which ripened into a sincere and lasting friendship.
Swift considered his conversation to be the most agreeable he
ever met with; and Addison appears to have thought most
highly of the genius of Swift.
:
LIFE OF SWIFT.
28
In 1708, he published several pieces on religious and liti
cal subjects. "The Argument against Abolishing Christi-
anity" was allowed to be an admirable specimen of very suc-
cessful irony. He wrote also the Sentiments of a Church of
England Man, which was the cause of the first coolness
between him and his original friends of the whig party. He
had stated to Lord Somers that although he felt himself
inclined to be a whig in politics, he was, as to clerical rights,
a high churchman, and did not conceive how it was possible.
that one who wore the habit of a clergyman should not be so
But all attempts at reconciling high church politics to whig
principles soon appeared to be desperate; and the interests
of his order prevailed with Swift over his favor for the politi-
cal principles of Somers and Godolphin. His letter on "The
Sacramental Test" completed the alienation. He wrote also,
The Sentiments of a Church of England Man (which was the
cause of the first coolness between him and his original
friends of the whig party) and the Ridicule of Astrology,
under the name of Bickerstaff, and the Defence of the Sacra-
mental Test. With regard to the last subject, Dr. Johnson
remarks, "that the reasonableness of a test is not hard to be
proved, but perhaps it must be allowed that the proper test
has not been chosen." The attention paid to the papers under
the name of Bickerstaff induced Steele, when he projected
the Tatler, to assume an appellation that had already gained
possession of the reader's notice. The object of the Church
of England Man was one that has invariably failed as often as
it has been tried, which was to moderate the violence of two
contending parties, and to propose an intermediate ground on
30
LIFE OF SWIFT.
which they could meet; he wished to drop the terms of high
and low church, which were only calculated to keep up ani-
mosity; "and to set down a just political and religious
creed, so far as related to a connection between Church and
State, as every honest subject of the Church of England must
at once assent to."
The Whigs, who had narrowly escaped being turned out
of office by the intrigues of Mr. Harley, and who had hitherto
looked on Swift as an uncertain friend, who did not enter
fully into their opinions, now coveted him, when they saw the
great and various talents which he had displayed; they were
willing to make him their champion whom they dreaded as
their enemy; but Swift's opinions were firm, and proof
against all solicitation: they therefore wished to remove him
by giving him some honorable situation abroad; a secretary-
ship to the embassy at Vienna was mentioned; and what to
Swift would have been a far more desirable appointment, a
scheme was on foot to make him Bishop of Virginia, with a
general authority over all the clergy in the American colo-
nies.
In the year following, he wrote "A Project for the Ad-
vancement of Religion," addressed to Lady Berkeley. "To
this Project," says Johnson, "which is formed with just
purity of intention, and displayed with sprightliness and ele-
gance, it can only be objected, that like many projects, if not
generally impracticable, it is yet evidently hopeless, as it
supposes more zeal, concord, and perseverance, than a view
of mankind gives reason for expecting." Sheridan considers
that the treatise had a political purpose, and that under the
LIFE OF SWIFT.
31
appearance of disinterestedness inculcating the principles of
religion and morality, it aimed at the destruction of the
power of the Whigs.
After the publication of this piece, Swift went to Ireland,
where he remained till the following year, when the fall of
the Whig ministry under Godolphin and Somers took place,
and Mr. Harley and St. John came into power. He passed
much of his time with Addison, secretary to the Earl of
Wharton, then lord lieutenant. He was also requested by
the bishops of Ireland to take on him the charge of soliciting
a remission of the first fruits and tenths to the clergy of that
kingdom. He took the office with reluctance, but his regard
for the interest of the church outweighed all other considera-
tions, and he set out for England as soon as his credentials
were ready. It may be observed, in Swift's correspondence
with Archbishop King on this subject, how anxious he was
that his friend Harley should have the merit of the grant to
the clergy of Ireland; while the archbishop, not very partial
to the new administration, was disposed to consider it as an
act of the queen's personal bounty.
On his arrival in London, in September, 1700, Swift found
that there was war declared between the two parties. There
was no room for moderating measures; and he was obliged,
according to his own principles of action, to choose the side
on which he would act. The Whigs would gladly have made
sacrifices to secure him, but the good fortune of the Tories
prevailed; for Swift's political opinions (as Scott observes)
turned chiefly upon zeal for the interest of his order. "I
should be terribly vexed," he says in his Journal, "to see
32
LIFE OF SWIFT.
things come round again; it would ruin the church and the
clergy for ever." He was also enraged at his cool reception
from Lord Godolphin, which he revenged by his lampoon of
Sid Hamet, read at Harley's, October 15, 1710, but not sus
pected to be Swift's. It had immense success.
Swift's office of soliciting the remission of the first fruits
led to interviews with Harley, and the minister did not lose
the favourable opportunity. Swift, it appears, had long been,
in his own mind, of the Tory side, and he only waited a con-
venient juncture to declare himself. He was represented
((
as one extremely ill-used by the last ministry." Harley's
condescension flattered his pride; his obliging behaviour
secured his friendship; accordingly, after he had inquired
into their plans, and the measures which they meant to pur-
sue, and found them agreeable to his own sentiments, he
entered into their interest with his whole heart. He says in
his Journal, November 29, 1710, "The present ministry have
a difficult task, and want me. According to the best judg
ment I have, they are pursuing the true interest of the public,
and, therefore, I am glad to contribute all that lies in my
power." His account of his interview with Lord Radnor,
proves how zealous a partisan he was. The writers on both
sides had already taken the field. Addison, Burnet, Steele,
Congreve, and Rowe, were the leaders of the Whigs. For
the Tories appeared Bolingbroke, Friend, Atterbury, and
Prior. The latter had begun a paper called "The Examiner,"
to which they all contributed; but as soon as Swift appeared,
they gladly resigned the controversial flail into his powerful
bands, who had returned from Ireland, stung with resentment
LIFE OF SWIFT.
33
at the neglect which he had experienced from Lord Wharton,
and burning with revenge upon the whole Whig party.
Addison soon detected the new auxiliary, and retired from
the field, though Dr. Johnson considers that his papers were
superior to his antagonist's. Swift's first paper was published
on the 2nd of November, 1710, No. 13, which was little more
than a month after his introduction to Harley, and he con-
tinued them till June 7, 1711, when he closed it with No. 45,
leaving it to be carried on by other hands. He was then on
terms of entire intimacy with the whole ministry; this he
best preserved by a line of conduct, showing his independ-
ence and self-respect. Harley sent him a bank-note of fifty
pounds. Swift had the good sense and prudence to return it,
and was not reconciled to the minister till he had let him
know that he expected to be treated on a footing of entire
equality. One must feel a little surprise that Harley did not
better understand the character of the person to whom this
trifling remuneration was offered.
The ministry had endeavoured to act upon a temporizing
system. It stood, as Swift says, "like an isthmus between the
Whigs on one side, and the violent Tories on the other.
They are able seamen, but the tempest is too great, the ship
too rotten, and the crew all against them." Lord Somers
was seen more than once in the queen's closet, and the
Duchess of Somerset, an intriguing and insinuating woman,
who had succeeded the Duchess of Marlborough, held the
key. Again, he says, "we are plagued with an October club,
tnat is, a set of above one hundred parliament men of the
county, who drink October beer at home, and meet every
2*
34
LIFE OF SWIFT.
evening at a tavern near the parliament, to consult on affairs,
and drive things to extremes against the Whigs. The mino-
rity is for gentle measures, and the other Tories for more
violent." But there were also divisions in the camp. Harley
was reserved and mysterious in his conduct, and procrasti-
nating in his measures, and St. John, though a person of great
spirit and energy, wasted much important time in his plea-
sures and habits of dissipation. Swift expostulated, sometimes
seriously, sometimes jocosely, with both. The Whig leaders
he knew to be active and zealous, leaving nothing undone,
while his friends were remiss in their operations, and not
united in their counsels. Two points he thought of the
utmost importance; the one was, to put an end to the cabals
of the October club, which threatened the most dangerous
consequences to the ministry; the other was, to make a
peace, without which he considered the ministry could not
stand. The first point was accomplished without difficulty.
He published a little pamphlet, called "Some Advice to the
Members of the October Club." They were satisfied with
the reasonings, and dropped their meetings. The affair of
the peace was of greater difficulty, for the disposition of the
nation was for war, and the ministry dared not even hint a
desire to put an end to it. Swift, however, undertook the
task, and drew up, in consequence, his famous political tract,
called, "The Conduct of the Allies." It is said, that between
November and January eleven thousand were sold: the object
of it, as is well known, was to prove that the war was main-
tained at a prodigious cost to us, solely through the avarice
and ambition of Marlborough, and for the advantage of the
:
LIFE OF SWIFT.
35
allies. Certain, it seems, that the ministry were indebted to
Swift for their immediate preservation from a destruction
which appeared inevitable, and for the solid establishment of
their future power. He found time amid political engage-
ments to publish a proposal for correcting, improving, and
ascertaining the English Tongue, in a letter to the Earl of
Oxford. The plan which he wished to institute for effecting
this purpose, seems, if not absurd, at least exceedingly defec-
tive; as Swift possessed no knowledge of those ancient lan-
guages, the parents of our own, which could alone safely
guide him in his projected inquiries. The purity of a lan-
guage will never be preserved by the laws of an academy,
who themselves participate in the cause of its change, and
who neither have power to effect its renewal, or delay its
decline.
This year, 1712, he published his reflections on the Barrier
Treaty, showing how little regard had been shown in that
negotiation to the interest of England, and how much had
been claimed by the Dutch. This was followed by "Remarks
on the Bishop of Sarum's Introduction to the third volume.
of the History of the Reformation." Sheridan thinks highly
of the humour and argument of these two pamphlets: he
says, "This distinguishes Swift's political tracts from all
others-that these were written for a day, his for perpetuity.
They borrowed their chief merit from circumstances and
times, he from the immensity of his genius. Their chief value
arose from fashion, his from weight." Certainly Swift brought
greater vigour of thought, richness of humour, variety of
36
LIFE OF SWIFT.
fancy, and pungency of satire to bear upon political disquisi-
tions than any writer of his day.
In 1713 the printer, Barker, was prosecuted by the House
of Lords for "The Public Spirit of the Whigs," a pamphlet
written in answer to a tract of Sir Richard Steele's, called
"The Crisis." All the Scotch Lords then in London went to
the Queen and complained of the affront put on them and
their nation by the author; upon which a proclamation was
published by her majesty, offering a reward of three hundred
pounds to discover him. Lord Oxford sent Swift a letter,
written in a counterfeit hand, inclosing a hundred pound bill,
to meet the expenses of the case.
The ministry were not unmindful of the great benefits
which he had conferred upon them; but they found many
serious obstacles in their way, when they attempted to reward
him in the only manner which he deserved, by a suitable and
dignified preferment in the church. The Duchess of Somerset
returned Swift's hatred with interest; when he was recom
mended to a bishopric (the See of Hereford) she prevailed on
Sharpe, the Archbishop of York, to oppose it, who advised the
Queen, "That her majesty should be sure that the man whom
she was going to make a Bishop, was a Christian." When
asked for reasons to support his insinuations, he could only
suppose that Swift was the author of the Tale of a Tub. But
the Duchess had stronger arguments and better influence.
She went to the Queen, with tears in her eyes, and throwing
herself on her knees, presented that bitter copy of verses
which Swift had written against her, called the Windsor
LIFE OF SWIFT.
37
Prophecy. The Queen shared in the resentment of her
favourite, and the Bishopric was bestowed on another.
After many difficulties and much procrastination, arising
from the Queen's dislike to bestow any preferment in England
on Swift, and from Lord Oxford's unwillingness to part with
hi, in April 1713 the Deanery of St. Patrick was obtained
for him, worth about seven hundred a year, and which he pro-
fessed to consider only as an honourable exile. Swift was
anxious for preferment in England, but it could not be
obtained; and in June he set out, in no very good humour,
for Ireland, to be installed. He had intended to remain some
time, but after having passed through the necessary forms, he
was recalled to England, to prevent by his efforts a rupture.
between his friends, Lord Oxford and Bolingbroke. He also
applied himself to the finishing the History of the Peace of
Utrecht, which he put into the hands of Lord Oxford and
Bolingbroke for publication. Scarcely had he a second time
returned to his deanery, than he was urgently sent for on the
same hopeless errand of reconciling persons between whom
there seemed to exist no cordiality or mutual esteem. This
effort was as fruitless as the former, and Swift, after the most
unavailing conference, returned to the house of his friend,
Mr. Geary, at Letcomb; there he composed his Pamphlet,
called "Some free Thoughts upon the present State of
Attairs;" in which the system of Tory government recom-
mended is as daring, dangerous, and unconstitutional, as was
ever advanced by a party-writer. He charges the ministers
as the chief causes of the reigning disorders, and lays the
greatest load of blame upon the man he loved best in the
39
LIFE OF SWIFT.
world, Lord Oxford. It is said, that he believed both Lord
Oxford and Bolingbroke were now more engaged in advanc-
ing their schemes of personal ambition, than anxious to dis-
charge their duties to the public; and his object was to
alarm their fears with the probability of their being deserted,
both by their party and their Queen. The death of the latter.
however, put a stop to the publication of his work. Swift's
prospects of advancement or ambition, if he ever entertained
any, were suddenly and permanently closed; and having
nothing more to do in England, he returned to his deanery,
where he resided for many years. It may be proper in this
place to mention, that during the time when Swift possessed
influence over the ministry, he exercised it with most disin-
terested zeal to promote the advancement of men of genius
and talent, who were directly opposed to him in politics. Ir
his journal he says "I have taken more pains to recommend
the Whig wits to the favour and mercy of the ministers, thar
any other people. Steele I have kept in his place. Congreve
I have got to he used kindly, and secured. Rowe I have
recommended, and got a promise of a place. Philips I should
certainly have provided for, if he had not run party mad, and
made me withdraw my recommendations. I set Addison so
right at first, that he might have been employed, and have
permanently secured him the place he has, yet I am worse
used by that faction than any man." He says, in a letter to
Lady Betty Germaine, “ When I had credit for some years at
Court, I provided for above fifty people in both kingdoms, of
which not one was a relation." He procured the rectory of
St. Andrew, Holborn, for Sacheverell, though he held him in
LIFE OF 8 WIFT.
39
no estimation, from a principle of justice, as he had ren-
dered assistance to the ministry, who had appeared to neglect
him.
On Swift's return to Ireland, he found the minds of per-
sons in the highest ferment, and the Whigs triumphant. The
stories fabricated in England that the late ministry designed
to bring in the Pretender, were believed, and Tory and Jaco-
bite were used as synonymous terms. Swift became the chief
object on whom party vengeance vented its rage. He was
insulted and even pelted by the populace in the streets; and
the higher classes endeavoured to earn the favour of the gov-
ernment by treating him with insult: he drew up a petition
to the House of Lords against the brutal and dangerous con-
duct of Lord Blaney. In such a situation of affairs, the most
prudent and wise part was chosen by him, of retiring to his
deanery, arranging his domestic affairs, and discharging the
duties of his situation. In a letter, dated Jan. 10, 1721, he
tells Pope, "In a few weeks after the loss of that excellent
princess, I came to my station here, where I have continued
ever since in the greatest privacy and utter ignorance of
those events which are most commonly talked of in the world.
I neither know the names nor the number of the family
which now reigneth, further than the prayer book informeth
me. I cannot tell who is chancellor, who are secretaries,
nor with what nations we are at peace or war. And this
manner of life was not taken up out of any sort of affecta-
tion, but merely to avoid giving offence, and for fear of pro-
voking party zeal." And in a letter to Gay he gives the fol
lowing account of himself. "I would describe to you my
40
LIFE OF SWIFT.
way of living, if any method could be called so in this
country. I choose my companions among those of the least
consequence and most compliance. I read the most trifling
books I can find, and when I write, it is upon the most trifling
subjects; but riding, sleeping, walking, take up eighteen out
of the twenty-four hours. I procrastinate more than I did.
twenty years ago, and have several things to finish which I
put off to twenty years bence." In this manner he passed
seven years of his life after his return to Ireland. He culti-
vated the acquaintance of a few persons whose society was
agreeable to him. He enjoyed the conversation and company
of Stella; and in his friend Dr. Sheridan he found one who
could return alike his friendship and his wit. He maintained
a correspondence with his former friends in England, with
Lord Bolingbroke, Harley, Addison, Pope, Prior and Arbuth-
not: with the Duchess of Ormond and Lady Bolingbroke.
When Oxford was committed to the Tower, Swift wrote
pressingly to him to be permitted to attend him there. His
letter begins thus: "My Lord, it may look like an idle on
officious thing in me to give your lordship any interruption.
under your present circumstances. Yet I could never forgive
myself, if, after having been treated for several years with the
greatest kindness and distinction by a person of your lord-
ship's virtue, I should omit making you at this time the
humblest offers of my poor services and attendance. It is the
first time I ever solicited you on my own behalf, and if I am
refused, it will be the first request you ever refused me."
Lord Oxford immediately on his release wrote him a letter
breathing the warmest affection; and Bolingbroke helped to
LIFE OF SWIFT.
41
solace the hours of his exile, by recalling to Swift the happy
hours they had formerly enjoyed together.
Two tracts were drawn up by him about this time: the
one, written in 1714, Memoirs relating to that change which
happened in the Queen's ministry in the year 1710. The
other, An Inquiry into the behaviour of the Queen's last minis
try, with relation to their quarrels among themselves, and the
design charged upon them of altering the succession of the
crown. The main object of these works was to exonerate the
ministry from the charge so confidently brought against them
of a design to bring in the Pretender. They were drawn up
without any view to publication, but were intended as calm
appeals to posterity in favour of his injured friends.
In the year 1710, when the ferment of political madness
seemed to have subsided, he published his first tract relative
to Ireland, entitled, A Proposal for the Universal Use of Irish
Manufactures; the object was to give a stimulus to the trade
of Ireland, which was in a state of depression, by persuading
the people to wear their own manufactures, instead of those
from England, and by showing them that a great part of
their poverty and distress was owing to their own folly. But
those who had an interest in the English trade took the
alarm; the proposal was deemed seditious, the printer was
imprisoned, and the undue severity and suspicion of the Gov-
ernment secured the popularity of the author.
In the year 1724, a circumstance took place, which gave
Swift an influence in Ireland, that no one probably has ever
equally possessed. A person of the name of William Wood,
of Wolverhampton, in Staffordshire, a great proprietor and
42
LIFE OF SWIFT.
renter of iron works in England, obtained a patent, empower
ing him to coin one hundred and eighty thousand pounds
worth of half-pence and farthings for the Kingdom of Ireland,
in which, at that time, there was a very inconvenient scarcity
of copper coin, so that it was possible to run in debt on the
credit of a piece of money; for a tradesman could not refuse
to supply a man who had silver in his hand, and the pur-
chaser would not leave his money without change. Sheridan
says, that no one in Ireland was consulted on the subject, nor
was any previous notice given to the Lord Lieutenant. The
old copper coin was gathered up, it is said, by Wood's agents,
and the new treasures were ready to be poured into the chan-
nels of trade, but it was boldly asserted that the coin was
debased to an enormous degree; and Swift wrote his Dra-
pier's Letters for the purpose of showing the folly of receiving
a coinage not worth perhaps a third of its nominal value.
Swift did not deny that Ireland wanted half-pence, and silver,
and gold, but he alleges "the fraudulent obtaining and execu-
ting of the patent, the baseness of the metal, and the prodi-
gious sum to be coined, which might be increased by stealth
from foreign importations, and his own counterfeits, as well
as those at home; whereby we most infallibly lose all our
little gold and silver, and all our poor remainder of a very
limited and discouraged trade." He urged that the patent was
passed without the least reference to either and without mention
of any security given by Wood, to receive his own half-pence
on demand, both which were contrary to all former proceed
ings in like cases. "For my own part (he adds) who am bu
one man of obscure condition, I do solemnly declare, in the
LIFE OF SWIFT.
43
presence of Almighty God, that I will suffer the most igno-
minious and torturing death, rather than submit to receive
this accursed coin, or any other that shall be liable to the
same objections, until they shall be forced upon me by a law
of my own country; and if that shall ever happen, I will trans-
port myself into some foreign land, and eat the bread of poverty
among a free people."
The facts of the case appear to be these. The emoluments
arising from the disposal of the patent were given by Lord
Sunderland to the Duchess of Kendal, who sold it to Wood.
The Duke of Bolton, then lord-lieutenant, had neither courage.
nor inclination to bring this embarrassing project forward; but
the Duke of Grafton, who succeeded him, promised to support
it. Walpole, on succeeding Sunderland, saw the difficulties,
but yielded. When the Duke of Grafton arrived in Ireland,
he found a general dislike to the measure. Lord Middleton,
Chancellor of Ireland, opposed it strongly a personal quarrel
had arisen between him and the Duke of Grafton, which was
fermented by the acts of Carteret, who was intriguing for
Walpole's removal. The boasting and threatening conduct
of Wood was indiscreet; and the misconduct of Government
much greater. The patent passed without the lord-lieutenant
or the privy-council being consulted. Walpole suffered the
duke to depart without sufficient instructions how he was to
act. In the mean time the dissensions spread, and factious
intrigues increased the embarrassments. The Duke of Graf-
ton was recalled, and Lord Carteret succeded him; but as he
nad, from desire to supplant Walpole, promoted the opposi
tion to the introduction of the coin, the part he had to play
44
LIFE OF SWIFT.
became doubly difficult his hopes lay in winning over Lord
Middleton; in this he failed, and the patent was surrendered.
It appears, on a candid consideration of the subject, that the
project would have been advantageous; but the real subject
of dispute was not so much the coinage itself, as that Wood's
patent being forced upon the people of Ireland was a death
blow to the independence of the kingdom. This was the real
foundation of Swift's opposition, though the nature of the
controversy made it necessary that he should veil it under
specific objections to Wood's scheme, rather than engage in
a dangerous discussion upon the abstract question of the
independence of the kingdom of Ireland. When he did
venture on this argument in his fourth letter, the arm of gov-
ernment was immediately uplifted to strike.
On Lord Carteret's arrival in Ireland, which took place
long before the usual time, a proclamation was published,
offering the reward of three hundred pounds for the discovery
of the author of the fourth Drapier's Letter. Harding, the
printer, was imprisoned, and a bill of indictment ordered to
be prepared against him. Swift wrote a short paper, called,
"Seasonable Advice to the Grand Jury," copies of which were
distributed to every person of the Jury before the bill, and
had such an effect, that it was unanimously thrown out. The
Lord Chief Justice Whitshed discharged the jury in a rage;
but the next that was summoned drew up a strong present
ment supporting the opinions advanced in the Drapier's Let
ters, in language decisive and strong. This was followed by
several others, in various counties; the affair was looked on
as desperate, the patent withdrawn, and the coinage sup-
LIFT OF SWIFT.
45
pressed. Never was greater exultation displayed upon any
occasion than appeared in the whole nation on the defeat of
this project. The Drapier was hailed by universal voice as
the saviour of his country. His name resounded through
every quarter of the island; his picture was set up in every
street, and bumpers to his health were poured down every
throat.
In the course of these writings, Swift took the opportunity
of laying open his political principles, declaring his most
zealous attachment to the Protestant succession in the house
of Hanover, and his abhorrence of the Pretender; by which
means he removed the prejudice against him of being a
Jacobite, and secured the favour of the people. During the
publication of the Letters, Swift took great pains to conceal
himself from being known as the author. The only persons
in the secret were Robert Blakely, his butler, whom he
employed as his amanuensis, and Dr. Sheridan. As Robert
was a most accurate transcriber, the copies were always deliv-
ered by him to the doctor, in order to their being corrected
and fitted for the press; by whom they were conveyed to the
printer in such a way as to prevent the possibility of discovery.
It happened that Blakely, the very evening of the day on
which the proclamation was issued, offering a reward of three
hundred pounds for discovering the author of the Drapier's
fourth letter, had staid out .ater than usual without his mas-
ter's leave. The dean ordered the door to be locked at the
accustomed hour, and shut him out. The next morning the
poor fellow appeared before him with marks of great contrition,
when Swift would listen to none of his excuses but abused
46
LIFE OF SWIFT.
him outrageously, bade him strip off his livery, and quit hie
house that moment: "What, you villain," said he, "is it
because I am in your power, you dare take these liberties!
Get out of my house, you scoundrel, and receive the reward
of your treachery." Mrs. Johnson, who was at the deanery,
and greatly alarmed at this scene, immediately dispatched a
messenger to Dr. Sheridan to come and try to make up mat-
ters. Upon his arrival, he found Robert walking about the
hall in great agitation, and shedding abundance of tears.
Inquiring into the cause of this, he was told that his master
had just discharged him. The doctor bade him to be of good
cheer, for he would undertake to pacify the dean, and that he
should be still continued in his place. "That is not what
vexes me,” replied Robert; "to be sure, I should be very
sorry to lose so good a master; but what grieves me to the
soul is, that my master should have so bad an opinion of me
as to suppose me capable of betraying him for any reward
whatever." When this was told to the dean, struck with the
generosity of such a sentiment, in one of his low sphere, he
immediately pardoned him, and restored him to his favour;
he also took the first opportunity of rewarding him for his
fidelity. The place of Verger to the cathedral becoming
vacant, Swift called Robert to him, and asked him if he had
any clothes of his own that were not a livery, to which the
other replying in the affirmative, he desired him to strip off
his livery and put on those clothes. The poor fellow begged
to know what crime he had committed, that he should be
discharged. Well, do as I ordered you," said Swift.
When he returned in his new dress, the dean called the other
46
LIFE OF SWIFT.
47
2.
servants into the room, and told them they were no longer to
consider him as their fellow-servant Robert, but as Mr. Blakely,
verger of St. Patrick's cathedral, which place he had bestowed
on him as a reward of his faithful services. Robert, however,
continued to officiate, at his own request, in his own situation,
without receiving any wages.
Another anecdote, connected with the subject of the Dra-
pier's Letters, I will give from Dr. Sheridan's Life, as briefly
as I can. The day after the proclamation there was a levee
at the castle; the Lord Lieutenant was going the round of
the circle, when Swift entered, and pushing his way through
the crowd, with great indignation, and with the voice of a
Stentor, cried out, "So, my Lord Lieutenant, this is a glori-
ous exploit that you performed yesterday, in issuing a procla-
mation against a poor shopkeeper, whose only crime is an
honest endeavour to save his country from ruin. You have
given a noble specimen of what this devoted nation is to hope
for from your government. I suppose you expect a statue of
copper will be erected to you for this service done to Wood."
For some time a silence ensued, for the whole assembly was
struck mute with wonder, when Lord Carteret, who had lis-
tened with great composure to the whole speech, replied in a
line of Virgil:
Res duæ, et regni novitas me talia cogunt
Moliri.
Every one was struck with the beauty of the quotation, and
the levee broke up in good humour; some extolling the mag
nanimity of Swift to the skies, and all delighted with the
ingenuity of the Lord Lieutenant's answer.
48
LIFE OF SWIFT.
Leaving Swift now in the height of his popularity, we
must go back to relate some circumstances of a less favourable
character, that had a great influence on his private life, and
which have unfortunately, continued to throw a cloud over
his fame. It will be recollected, that Miss Esther Johnson
continued to reside near Swift, in Ireland; that she formed
part of his daily society at the deanery; that there seemed
the most unreserved communication between them, though
guarded by a strict propriety of conduct. Swift never saw
her, but in the company of Mrs. Dingley, or of some third
person; yet Stella, while she submitted to this singular
arrangement, was not satisfied with it; nor can it be wondered
at, that she expected to be united in a closer tie than that
of a mere friend, and that she languished under the extraor
dinary procrastination of her hopes.
During his residence in England, Swift lived among the
higher circles of society, and was admired for the brilliancy
of his wit, the extent of his knowledge, and the richness and
variety of his conversational talents. He was admitted into
the company of some of the most distinguished ladies of the
time; Lady Betty Germaine, Mrs. Barton, the Countess of
Winchelsea, the Duchess of Ormond, and Lady Masham,
ranked him among their friends. Among the families in
London, where he was most intimate, was that of Mrs. Van-
homrigh, a widow lady of fortune and respectability, who
had two sons and two daughters; the elder was Esther, bet-
ter known by the poetical appellation of Venessa; of her
personal charms we are left in some uncertainty; Lord Orrery
says she was not handsome, but she was lively and graceful,
LIFE OF SWIFT.
49
and fond of books. Swift eagerly offered to direct her in her
choice of studies; this led to still further familiarity with the
family, and the acquaintance with the fascinating Esther at
length gave pain and uneasiness to Stella. Swift was fully
conscious of the dangerous ground on which he stood; for in
his Journal to Stella, Miss Vanhomrigh is only casually men-
tioned twice, at the time that he was in habits of the most
frequent communication with her. In the meanwhile, in the
bosom of his fascinating pupil, esteem and gratitude ripened
into love; she was unacquainted with the peculiar situation
in which Swift stood as related to another, and she was igno-
rant of the claims, perhaps even of the name of Stella. In a
manner suitable to the warmth and openness of her temper,
she avowed to Swift the state of her affections.
"We can-
not doubt," (says Scott) that he actually felt the shame, dis
appointment, guilt, and surprise," expressed in his celebra-
ted poem, though he had not the courage to take the
open and manly course of acknowledging his engagements
with Stella, or other impediments which prevented him from
accepting the hand and fortune of her rival. Perhaps he was
conscious that such an explanation had been too long
delayed to be now stated, without affording grounds for the
heavy charges of having flattered Miss Vanbomrigh into
hopes which, from the nature of his own situation, could not
be gratified. This remorseful consciousness too, he might feel
when looking back on his conduct, though, until then he had
blindly consulted his own gratification in seeking the pleasure
of Vanessa's society, without being aware of the difficulties in
which they were both becoming gradually entangled. With-
3
50
LIFE OF SWIFT.
out making, therefore, this painful but just confession, he
answered the avowal of Vanessa's passion at first in raillery,
and afterwards by an offer of devoted and everlasting friend-
ship, founded on the basis of virtuous esteem. Vanessa seerns
neither to have been contented nor silenced by the result of
her declaration, but to the very close of her life persisted in
endeavouring, by entreaties and arguments, to extort a more
lively return to her passion than this cold proffer was calcula-
ted to afford. It is difficult to ascertain when this eclaircisse-
ment took place, but it seems to have preceded Swift's depar-
ture for Ireland to take possession of his Deanery, though it
must certainly have been made after obtaining that prefer-
ment.
The effect of Swift's increasing intimacy with Vanessa
may be plainly traced in the altered language of the Journal.
It becomes colder and more indifferent, speaks less of the
happiness of a life devoted to Stella, and exhibits all the marks
of a declining affection. The fears of love are soon excited,
and it is difficult to escape its penetration.
Stella soon
was aware that there was a rival in his affections, and rumours
brought to Ireland increased her alarm. Her letters are not
preserved, but it appears from the Journal that they intimated
displeasure and jealousy which Swift endeavoured to appease.
There are two passages, as Scott observes, worthy of notice, as
illustrating of the situation of the parties and of Swift's inten-
tions. The first occurs when he obtains the deanery of St.
Patrick's. "If it be worth £400 per year," he says, "the
overplus shall be divided-besides usual "—an imperfect
phrase, which, however, implies, that his relation to Steila was
LIFE OF SWIFT.
51
to continue on its former footing, and that she was only to
share the advantage of his promotion by an increase of her
separate income. This hint was probably designed to bar
any expectations of a proposal of marriage. Another omi-
nous sentence in the Journal, is in the following intimation:
"His (Mr. Vanhomrigh's) eldest daughter is come of age,
and going to Ireland to look after her fortune, and get it into
her own hands." This plan, which she afterwards accom-
plished, boded no good to the unfortunate Stella.
Upon Swift's return to Ireland, he was placed in a situa-
tion of much embarrassment, arising from his thoughtless
encouragement of Vanessa's feelings, while Stella possessed
an undoubted claim over the affections of his heart. It is
difficult to find that peculiar word of censure which should
apply with exactness to Swift's conduct in this unfortunate
affair, because he acted on principles so extremely different
from those which govern the generality of mankind. In
ordinary cases his conduct would be deemed dishonourable in
disappointing the just expectations, and sporting with the
feelings of two amiable and virtuous women. But Swift, as
he never designed marriage himself, certainly never gave,
except by what they might infer from attention of behaviour,
and perhaps tenderness of language, any ground upon which
their reasonable hopes might be founded. They appear to
have erred, in not having more accurately understood his
character, and his designs; while he was far more decidedly
wrong in endeavouring to divert the warm and natural pas
sions of the female heart, into the cold and selfish channels in
which his own reposed; his object was to gain them as
52
LIFE OF SWIFT.
friends; theirs was to possess him as a lover and a husband.
That Swift was greatly to blame, no doubt can be entertained.
and the errors of his conduct in this affair brought on a great
part of the future misery of his life. Of all criminal intentions
he was, in this instance, as in the whole conduct of his life,
totally guiltless; but he knew that he passed beyond the
grounds of honourable and upright conduct; he allowed the
new fascinations of Miss Vanhomrigh's society to eclipse the
familiar power of pleasing which Stella had long possessed;
and when he all but suppressed the name of Vanessa
while he poured out upon other subjects the most unreserved
communication in his Journal to Stella, he at once stamps the
seal on the unfaithfulness and duplicity of his own conduct.
On her mother's death, Vanessa and her sister, who were
left joint executrixes, retired to Ireland to look after the pro-
perty which their father had left them near Celbridge. Their
arrival in Dublin excited the jealousy of Stella, and the
apprehensions of Swift; an intimacy like theirs which had
passed over without harm in England, might now have in-
jured the reputation of both. The Dean expostulated in vain.
with her on her imprudence, and she in return accused him.
of cruelty and neglect. Her letters of love and complaint are
full of the warmest sentiments and the most enamoured lan-
guage. Swift saw the gulf he had so insensibly and incau-
tiously been approaching; yet it was too late to retreat; all
that was left was to temporize, and trust to time and chance
to remedy or alleviate the perils which were beyond the
power of prudence to avert.
The correspondence, now for the first time given entire
LIFE OF SWIFT.
53
will afford a satisfactory elucidation of the subject. It com-
mences on the part of Swift in a vein of light, jocular pleasan-
try. Vanessa writes at once from the heart. Swift parries
this for some time in his odd bantering vein; till as Vanessa's
impatience increases he subsides into a guarded, half apologi-
zing, half upbraiding strain, evidently intended to prevent any
warmer expostulations, and to stop any nearer approach.
When the letter at length came, containing the most innocent
but the most passionate avowal of love, and opening the
recesses of her ingenuous, affectionate, and devoted heart; then
the long fabricated artifices of Swift were baffled, his plan of
retaining her love without returning it, was at once defeated;
he could no longer plead his ignorance of her feelings; and
the remainder of his correspondence consists of paltry excuses,
cruel evasions and palliating falsehoods. The situation into
which his selfishness had brought him, must have been one of
agony and remorse; and his poor Vanessa sank into her early
grave,
the broken hearted victim of an attachment most sin-
gularly unfortunate.
In the meanwhile the health of his early and constant
friend, his affectionate Stella, was rapidly declining. Jeal-
ousy, neither unreasonable nor dishonourable, was secretly
preying upon her. She had sacrificed for Swift all but her
virtue and her honour,-her youth had faded away amidst
hopes and wishes that were unfulfilled: and she had the mis-
fortune to be conscious that even her reputation was clouded,
while her conduct was irreproachable. Swift felt deeply and
bitterly the melancholy and fatal results of his capricious and
inconsiderate conduct. He employed the Bishop of Clogher
54
LIFE OF SWIFT.
his tutor and early friend, to enquire the cause of Stella'
melancholy; and he received the very answer which he could
have anticipated: "Her sensibility to his late indifference and
to the discredit which her character had sustained from the
dubious and mysterious connection between them." To con-
vince her of the constancy of his affection, and to remove her
beyond the reach of calumny, there was but one remedy. To
this Swift replied, that he had formed two resolutions with
regard to matrimony. One, that he would not marry till pos-
sessed of a competent fortune-the other, that the event
should take place at a time of life which gave him a reasona-
ble prospect to see his children settled in the world. The
independence he proposed he had not yet achieved, and on
the other hand he was past that time of life after which he
had determined never to marry. It may be observed, that
Swift undoubtedly had a right to lay down these or any other
rules for the regulation of his own conduct, and the supposed
safe-guard of his happiness; but these very rules obliged him
to act with great circumspection and caution in his intercourse
with females; and not to keep his maxims of prudence in
reserve while he was engaging the affections of the artless and
the inexperienced by a tenderness and gallantry that were
the forerunners, according to their ideas, of more intimate
and lasting connections. Swift, however, made one concession,
the least that could be granted, and of itself an imperfect reme-
dy of the evils that he had caused.
To these terms, so inferior to what she had a right to ex-
pect, Stella subscribed; yet something was gained by the
unwilling and almost degrading concession; her former inti
LIFE OF SWIFT.
55
macy with Swift, though free from guilt, was, in the opinion
of society, improper and unusual; on this point her con-
science was now at rest; and she had also disarmed the
superior attractions of her rival of their fatal power. She
was married in the garden of the deanery, by the Bishop of
Clogher, in the year 1716.
Immediately after the ceremony, Swift's state of mind was
very unhappy. Delany says, that about the time his union
took place, he observed Swift to be exceeding gloomy and
agitated, so much so that he went to Archbishop King to
mention his apprehensions; on entering the library, Swift
rushed out with a countenance of distraction, and passed
him without speaking. He found the Archbishop in tears,
and upon asking the reason, he said, "You have just met the
most unhappy man upon earth, but on the subject of his
wretchedness you must never ask a question." Delany's infer-
ence from these words was, that Swift, after his union, had
discovered too near a consanguinity between Stella and him-
self, to admit of their being united in matrimony; and that
in fact, both of them were the illegitimate children of Sir W.
Temple. This, however, seems to be a most gratuitous as-
sumption, resting on no reasonable grounds whatever.
Swift's intercourse with Stella and Mrs. Dingley continued
to be as guarded and cautious as before. To Stella it brought
the same inconveniencies; her acquaintance with ladies was
formal and ceremonious, and her only intimacies were the
male persons of Swift's acquaintance; a lady now alive, who
was the friend of Mrs. Delany, says, "that Stella went with
Mrs. Dingley to Dr. Delany's Villa on Wednesdays, where his
56
LIFE OF SWIFT.
men companions dined, before he was married to my friend,
She (Mrs. Delany) once saw her by accident, and was struck
with the beauty of her countenance, and particularly with her.
fine dark eyes. She was very pale, and looked pensive, but
not melancholy, and her hair as black as a raven."
After his marriage Swift seems to have redoubled his anx.
iety to moderate the passion of Vanessa, and even to direct it
into another channel. He introduced to her Dean Winter,
as a candidate for her hand, but she rejected the proposal in
peremptory terms. She was also addressed, equally without
success, by Dr. Price, afterwards Archbishop of Cashell. At
length, in the year 1717, she retired from Dublin to her pro-
perty near Celbridge, to nurse her hapless passion in seclusion
from the world. Swift, with great anxiety and tenderness of
expression, endeavoured to warn her against a plan so little
likely to be successful, and exhorted her to seek general
society, to divert her mind in every way she could, and even
to leave Ireland for other scenes. Until the year 1720, he
never visited her at Celbridge; but in that year, and down to
the time of her death, he went repeatedly there to see her.
A correspondent of Sir Walter Scott's has given some minute
particulars attending Vanessa's habits of life, and Swift's visits.
"Marley Abbey (he says) near Celbridge, where Miss Van-
homrigh resided, is built much in the form of a real cloister,
especially in its external appearance. An aged man (upwarda
of 90 by his own account) showed the grounds to my
correspondent He was the son of Mrs. Vauhomrigh's gar
dener, and used to work with his father in the garden when a
boy. He remembered the unfortunate Vanessa well, and his
LIFE OF SWIFT.
57
account of her corresponded with the usual description of
her person, especially as to her embonpoint. He said she
went seldom abroad, and saw little company; her constant
amusement was reading, or walking in the garden. Yet,
according to this authority, her society was courted by seve-
ral families in the neighbourhood, who visited her, notwith-
standing her seldom returning that attention, and he added,
that her manners interested every one who knew her. But
she avoided company, and was always melancholy, save when
Swift was there, and then she seemed happy. The garden
was to an uncommon degree crowded with laurels. The old
man said, that when Miss Vanhomrigh expected the Dean,
she always planted with her own hand a laurel or two against
his arrival. He showed her favorite seat, still called Vanessa's
bower; three or four trees and some laurels indicate the spot.
They had formerly, according to the old man's information,
been trained into a close arbour. There were two seats and
a rude table within the bower, the opening of which com
manded a view of the Liffey, which had a romantic effect;
and there was a small cascade that murmured at some
distance. In this sequestered spot, according to the gar-
dener's account, the Dean and Vanessa used often to sit with
books and writing materials on the table before them.
Vanessa, besides indulging her melancholy and hopeless pas
sion, had another sorrow in her solitude, that of nursing the
declining health of her younger sister, who at length died
about 1720. Her affections seemed now concentrated with
double energy in her love; while Swift, with his usual cir-
eumspection, became more reserved than he had been in his
3*
58
LIFE OF SWIFT.
visita; at length Miss Vanhomrigh, irritated by a long endu
rance of ill-requited love, was determined to discover its
causes, and either to remove or realize the suspicions she
had formed. Her thoughts naturally turned to the intimacy
between Swift and Mrs. Johnson; in a letter written in 1713,
she says, “If you are very happy, it is ill natured of you not
to tell me so, except 'tis what is inconsistent with mine." She
accordingly ventured on the decisive step of writing to Mrs.
Johnson, requesting to know the nature of her connection
with the Dean. Stella informed her, in her reply, of the mar-
riage; and, full of resentment against Swift, for having given
to another female the right to put a question which seemed
to involve a claim as strong as her own, she retired to the
house of Mr. Ford, near Dublin. Swift, in a paroxysm of
fury, rode to Marley Abbey; his countenance, as he entered
the room, struck Vanessa with terror. He flung a letter on
the table, and instantly mounting his horse, returned to Dub-
lin. When Vanessa opened the packet, she only found her
own letter to Stella; this was the death blow to her hopes
and to her life; she languished only a few weeks, when she
sank under the stern and selfish cruelty of a man on whom
she had vainly lavished ail the innocent and all the warmest
affections of her life; and who suffered her to pine away in
hopeless affliction, because he dared not avow to her the
duplicity of his conduct, and his incapability of accepting the
heart she offered. She died in the 37th year of her age, and
revoked a will made in favour of Swift, settling her fortune
upon Mr. Marshall, (afterwards one of the Judges of the Com
mon Pleas,) and Dr. Berkeley, the Bishop of Cloyne.
3
LIFE OF SWIFT.
59
The correspondence between Swift and this unfortunate
lady has been, for the first time, published in the edition by
Scott, from the originals in the possession of Mr. Berwick.
The sum of the evidence (says the biographer) which they
afford, seems to amount this-that while residing in England
for years, and at a distance from Stella, Swift incautiously
engaged in a correspondence with Miss Vanhomrigh, which
probably, at first, meant little more than mere gallantry,
since the mother, brother, and sister, seemed all to have been
confidants of their intimacy. After his going to Ireland his
letters assume a graver cast, and consist rather of advice,
caution, and rebuke, than expressions of tenderness. Yet
neither his own heart, nor the nature of Vanessa's violent
attachment, permit him to suppress strong, though occasional
and rare indications of the high regard in which he held her,
although honour, friendship, and esteem, had united his fate
with that of another. Is would, perhaps, have been better
had their amours never have been public; as that has, how-
ever, happened, it is the biographer's duty to throw such
light upon them as Mr. Berwick's friendship has enabled him
to do, in order that Swift's conduct, weak and blamable as it
must be held in this instance, may at least not suffer here-
after from being seen under false or imperfect lights." Upon
the death of Miss Vanhomrigh, Swift retreated to the south
of Ireland, where he remained for two months in utter soli-
tude, a prey, no doubt, to the most self-accusing remorse.
On his return to Dublin, he received the forgiveness of
Stella, and thus this unfortunate portion of his history is
closed.
$
2.
60
LIFE OF SWIFT.
When Wood's patent was withdrawn, Swift returned to
Finlen, a house of Dr. Sheridan's, where he passed some
months in finishing and preparing Gulliver's Travels for the
press. Early in 1726, he set out for England, after an
absence from that country of nearly twelve years: and was
welcomed with all demonstrations of joy by his old friends.
He also met with a favourable reception at Leicester House
The Princess of Wales, afterwards Queen Caroline, hearing of
his arrival, sent to desire to see him. Of this he gives the
following account in his letter to Lady B. Germaine, 1732.
"It is six years last spring since I first went to visit my
friends in England after the queen's death. Her present
majesty heard of my arrival, and sent at least nine tinies to
command my attendance before I would obey her, for several
reasons, not hard to guess: and among others, because I had
heard her character from those who knew her well. At last
I went, and she received me very graciously." During Swift's
stay in England his time was passed between Twickenham and
Dawly, with his friends Pope or Bolingbroke. Pope then
published his volume of Miscellanies, consisting of some of
his own works and Arbuthnot's, but principally of Swift's.
The sale was very large, and Pope received the entire profits,
which amounted to a hundred and fifty pounds. During
these transactions he received a very melancholy account from
Ireland of the State of Mrs. Johnson's health; his old com-
plaints of giddiness and deafness increased upon him, and he
stole away from a society which he could no longer delight
or enjoy, and retreated intc private lodgings. When suff
ciently recovered, he retired to Ireland, and had the delight
LIFE OF SWIFT.
61
of finding the health of Mrs. Johnson much improved ur
ing his visit to London, Swift met with a favourable reception
not only at Leicester House, but at St. James's. He dined
with Sir R. Walpole at Chelsea; and afterwards, through
Lord Peterborough's intervention, had an interview with that
minister, in which the grievances of Ireland formed the sub-
ject of the Dean's complaint. The enemies and calumnia-
tors of Swift propagated a story that he had offered his pen
to Walpole, upon the promise of preferinent in England; but
Swift has destroyed all the credit which the falsehood might
have had, by giving to Lord Peterborough a faithful account
of the conversation.
Swift set out for Ireland in August, and in the November
following Gulliver's Travels made their public appearance,
after having been privately seen and admired by Swift's
friends in England.
The plan of this entertaining and delightful satire varies,
as Scott observes, in its different parts. The voyage to Lilli-
put refers chiefly to the court and politics of England. Wal-
pole is plainly intimated under the character of Mr. Premier
Flimnap; the factions of high and low heels express the
Tories and the Whigs; the Small-endians and Big-endians the
religious divisions of Papist and Protestant; and when the
heir apparent was described as wearing one heel high and
one low, the Prince of Wales, who at that time divided his
favour between the two leading political parties of England,
laughed heartily at the comparison. The scandal which Gul-
liver gave to the Empress by his mode of extinguishing the
flames in the Royal Palace, seems to intimate the author's
62
LIFE OF SWIFT.
own disgrace with Queen Ann, founded on the indecorum of
the Tale of a Tub, which was remembered against him as a
crime, while the service which it had rendered the cause of
the high church was forgotten.
In the Voyage to Brobdignag the satire is of a more gen-
eral character; nor is it easy to trace any particular refer.
ence to the political events or statesmen of the time. It
seems intended to show in the most forcible manner the
vanity of our desires and the insignificance of our pursuits,
by exhibiting the opinions formed of them by beings of
superior power and more philosophical thought, and more
cool and less passionate temperaments. Some passages are
supposed to be an intended affront on the maids of honour,
for whom Swift entertained no predilection; and there is one
which those interesting ladies never could have forgiven.
The Voyage to Laputa was disliked by Arbuthnot, who
probably considered it to be a satire on the Royal Society;
many of the allusions also are said to be levelled at the singu-
larities of Sir Isaac Newton; but the main attack of the
fable is certainly directed against the false and chimerica
pretenders to science, and the professors of natural and mathe-
matical magic. In the department of the political projectors,
some glances of his Tory feelings appear; and in the melan-
choly account of the Struldbrugs, we are reminded of the
author's indifference to life, and the melancholy state to which
his own was prolonged.
The Voyage to the land of the Houyhnhnms is the one that
has been received with the least approbation of the public,
and, perhaps, exhibits the smallest talent and judgment in the
LIFE OF SWIFT.
63
author. Of all the creations of his fancy it is the most im
probable; and it is filled with such a fierce indignation
against the frailties and vices to which our nature is so prone;
it betrays such a bitter misanthropy; it indulges in such a
fiendish mockery of the degraded species, and holds up such
hideous representations of the loathsome depravity of our
sins, while it renders its satire more effective by drawing
through it the richest vein of ridicule and the most pointed
wit; that persons of delicate and refined taste have been hurt
by its grossness, and those of more severe and religious feel-
ings have marked it with that moral disapprobation, which
rejects a work so wide in its temper and feeling from the
spirit of Christianity. It must certainly be allowed that the
picture, in all its nauseating details and its frightful impuri-
ties, is overcharged; that the colors are not sufficienly sub-
dued; and that the representation of beings so thoroughly
brutalized and degraded, by exciting disgust and horror,
destroys the effect which it was intended to produce.
"Where
is the sense of a general satire," says Warburton, "if the
whole species be degenerated; and where is the justice of it,
if it be not?" Voltaire, who was in England at the time when
Gulliver's Travels appeared, spread their fame among his cor-
respondents in France; and the Abbé Desfontaines undertook
a translation, which succeeded extremely with the French
public. His continuation, called "Le Nouveau Gulliver," I
have never met with; but another, published as the third
volume of the Travels in 1727, was stolen from a French work
called "L'Histoire des Sévérambes," and which has been
ascribed to Monsieur Alletz and others; it is a production far
64
LIFE OF SWIFT.
inferior to Swift's in wit and invention; but being suppressed
in France and other Catholic countries, and consequently of
rare occurrence, it offered facilities for the plagiarism of the
English author. Arbuthnot also wrote two pamphlets on the
subject; and some verses in the Miscellany, written in a very
pleasing vein of humour, were published by Pope.
As Mrs. Johnson's health apparently was restored, Swift
found nothing to detain him in Ireland, and set out for Lon-
don early in March. He was in high favour in Leicester
House, but not on terms with Walpole. He had formed a
plan of passing a few months in France, for the benefit of his
health, but the news of the king's death made him postpone
it. It was expected that a change of measures would imme.
diately take place, and that the most flattering prospects
would be open to the Dean. Mr. Howard and Lord Bolling-
broke strongly urged him to remain on the spot during a sea-
son so important to his interests: but a return of his old com-
plaint and the news of Mrs. Johnson's relapse, obliged him to
set out for Ireland. On his arrival he found his long-beloved
friend in the last stage of decay, without the least hope of
recovery. He attended her in this state during four or five
months, and in the month of January he was deprived of her
who for five and twenty years had been most affectionately
attached to him, and whose life indeed had been devoted to
his will. Of the dying scene two different stories have been
told; but both of them painful; and one, that which comes
from the authority of Sheridan, we must hope, for the sake of
humanity, not to be founded upon truth. Lord Orrery says,
that Swift never mentioned her without a sigh. To alleviate
LIFE OF SWIFT.
65
his affliction, he turned his mind again to public affairs; in a
variety of publications relating to Ireland, he laid open the
causes of her distress and poverty; and pointed out the means
by which they might be alleviated: and he also directed his
attention to some of the best planned charities that were ever
supported from a private purse. He gave very largely in
proportion to his fortune. After his settlement at the Dean-
ery, and when he was out of debt, he divided his income into
three parts, one he appropriated to his own support and his
domestic expenses. The second he laid up as a provision
against the accidents of life, and ultimately with a view to a
charitable foundation after his death; and the third he dis-
posed of in charities to the poor and distressed. He lent to
poor industrious tradesmen small sums of five and ten pounds,
to be repaid with interest weekly; and he always demanded
good security for the repayment. Sheridan says, that he has
been well assured, that many families in Dublin, now living
in great credit, owed the foundation of their fortunes to the
sums first borrowed from this source. His reputation for
wisdom and integrity was so great, that he was consulted by
several corporations in matters of trade; and he was not sel-
dom chosen umpire in their decisions: By his integrity, his
patriotism, by the superiority of his talents, and his endeavours
to serve the public, he obtained a remarkable ascendancy over
the people of Ireland, and he was known over the whole king-
dom as the Dean. In a letter which Lord Carteret wrote to
him in 1732, who was the chief governor of Ireland, he says,
"I know by experience how much the city of Dublin thinks
itself under your protection; and how strictly they obeved
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LIFE OF SWIFT.
all orders fulminated from the sovereignty of St. Patrick's,"-
and in the postscript to another of March 24, 1736, he says,
"When people asked me how I governed Ireland, I say, that
I pleased Dr. Swift."
Swift had now relinquished all expectations of further
preferment. Walpole was exasperated against him, on
account of some severe poems which he had written, and some
forged letters in favour of Mr. Barber, bearing the Dean's sig-
nature, bad excited the displeasure of the queen.
About the year 1736, his memory was greatly impaired,
and the general powers of the intellect showed marks of
decay. Sheridan says, that "the irascible passions which at all
times he found difficult to keep within due bounds, now raged
without control, and made him a torment to himself and all
about him; an unusual long fit of deafness and giddiness,
which lasted almost a year, disqualified him for conversation,
and made him lose all relish for society. He could not
amuse himself with writing, and a whimsical resolution he had
made, of never wearing spectacles, prevented him from read-
ing. Thus, without amusement, without employment, his
time passed heavily and gloomily along. The state of his
mind is strongly pictured in a letter to Mrs. Whiteway.
have been (he says) very miserable all night, and to-day
extremely deaf and full of pain. I am so stupid and con-
founded, that I cannot express the mortification I am under
both in body and mind. All I can say is, I am not in torture,
but I daily and hourly expect it. Pray let me know how
your health is and your family. I hardly understand one
word I write. I am sure my days will be very few-few and
"I
P
LIFE OF SWIFT.
67
uiserable they must be. I ain for those few days." He
always entertained apprehensions that he should outlive his
understanding. Dr. Young has recorded an instance of this,
where he relates, that walking out with Swift and some others
about a mile from Dublin, he suddenly missed Mr. Dean, who
had staid behind the rest of the company. He turned back
in order to know the occasion of it, and found Swift at some
distance, gazing intensely at the top of a lofty elm whose
head had been blasted. Upon Young's approach he pointed
to it, saying, "I shall be like that tree, I shall die first at the
top."
Not long after this time, his understanding failed to such a
degree, that it was found necessary to have legal guardians
appointed to take care of his present estate. This was fol-
lowed by a fit of lunacy which continued some months, and
then he sank into a state of idiocy which lasted to his death.
He died October 19, 1745. When the death of the dean, so
beloved and admired in Ireland as he was, was announced,
the citizens of Dublin gathered from all quarters, and forced
their way in crowds into the house, to pay the last tribute of
grief to their departed benefactor. Nothing but lamentations
were heard round all the quarter where he lived; and happy
were they who first got into the chamber where be lay, to
procure locks of his hair;
Bequeathing it as a rich legacy
Unto their issue.
So eager, says Sheridan, were numbers to obtain at any
price this precious memorial, that in less than an hour his
head was stripped of all its silver ornaments, so that not a
68
LIFE OF SWIFT.
hair remained. He was buried in the most private
manner according to the directions of his will, in the great
aisle of St Patrick's Cathedral; and, by way of monument, a
slab of black marble was placed against the wall, on which
was engraved the following Latin epitaph, written by him-
self.-
Hic depositum est corpus
JONATHAN SWIFT, S. T. P.
Hujus Ecclesiæ Cathedralis
Decani
Ubi sæva indignatio
Ulterius cor lacerare nequit,
Abi viator
Et imitare, si poteris,
Strenuum pro virili libertatis vindicem.
Obiit anno (1745)
Mensis (Octobris) die (19)
Etatis anno (78).
Swift was in person tall, strong, and well made, of a dark
complexion, but with blue eyes, black and bushy eyebrows,
nose somewhat aquiline, and features which expressed the
boldness and confidence of his mind; he never was known to
laugh; and according to Scott, the description of Cassius, in
Shakespeare, might be applied to him:
He reads much;
He is a great observer, and he looks
Quite through the deeds of men.-
Seldom he smiles; and smiles in such a sort
As if he mock'd himself, and scorn'd his spirit
That could be mov'd to smile at anything.
His features have been preserved in many busts, prints, and
medals. In youth he was reckoned handsome. Pope says
LIFE OF 8 WIFT.
69
that his eyes were as azure as the heavens, and had an unu-
Bual expression of acuteness. In old age his countenance
was dignified and expressive. He spoke in public with facility
and force; and had he been on the bench of bishops, he
would have been of great assistance to the ministry in the
House of Lords. "The government of Ireland," says Scott,
"dreaded his eloquence as much as his pen." His manners
in society were free, lively, and engaging and even when
age and infirmities had impaired his spirits and his temper,
his conversation was still valued for the richness of the anec-
dotes, the acquaintance which it displayed with mankind, the
liveliness of his repartees, and shrewdness and satire of the
wit. As his memory failed, he was conscious that his stories
were too often repeated. He was fond of puns; and Scott
ays that the application of the line of Virgil to the lady who
hrew down a fiddle, is, perhaps, the best that ever was made.
In his personal habits he was scrupulously neat. In his
latter days he was an early riser, and fond of exercise;
though at one period of his life he was said to lie in bed
and think of wit for the day. Of his learning, it must be
said that it was not that of a professed scholar. It is difficult
exactly to say how far his knowledge of ancient literature
extended, but in Greek it undoubtedly did not enable him
to do more than read the best authors with tolerable facility;
and in Latin it did not enter into the critical niceties of
the language. Chaucer's flow of wit, and the charming
graces and frank joyous vein of pleasantry which animated
his poems, found a warm admirer in Swift; he was, it is
said, fond of the old romances of chivalry; and had read
70
LIFE OF SWIFT.
Milton with a scholar's attention.
The dramatic writers seem
not to have attracted his notice; which we may wonder at,
considering the rich stores of pleasantry, and the exhaustless
variety of character and manners, he would have discovered in
these works: his library did not contain a copy of Shakespeare;
and the works of Wycherly and Rowe were presented by the
authors. History was a favourite branch of his study; and in
his latter years he confined himself almost entirely to Claren-
don. Scott says, " that Swift loved the country, like most men
of genius!" He does not seem to have been much alive to
delights of romantic scenery, or the picturesque combinations
of landscape; but he was fond of the advantages which it gave,
the opportunities of exercise, and freedom from restraint.
The stern independence of his character, and the strangeness
and waywardness of his temper, made him appear to superfi-
cial observers, full of contradictions. He was a zealous
churchman, for no one carried the rights of his order higher
than he did, nor could he brook the least slight or dispar-
agement on that subject; yet he often wrote on matters con-
nected with religion, and religious parties and belief, with a
levity bordering on profaneness. Though a friend of liberty,
he sided with the Tory administration. Disliking Ireland,
and abusing the inhabitants, he yet vindicated her rights, and
appeared to feel deeply for her wrongs. Parsimonious in
many of his habits of life, to a degree that was sordid and
disreputable, he dealt out his charities with a discerning and
liberal spirit. He was niggardly, but never avaricious; and a
considerable part of his moderate income was devoted to pur-
poses of benevolence. His avarice says Johnson, though it
LIFE OF SWIFT.
71
nis virtue.
might exclude pleasure, was never suffered to encroaen upon
He was frugal by inclination, but was liberal by
principle. And if the purpose to which he destined his little
accumulations be remembered, with his distribution of occa-
sional charity, it will perhaps appear that he only liked one
mode of expense better than another, and saved merely that
he might have something to give. He did not grow rich by
injuring his successors, but left both Laracor and the Deanery
more valuable than he found them.
In his habits of society he seems never to have lost the
singularities of his temper, though he had been educated in
the refined society of Sir W. Temple's house, and though he
was probably master of all the rules of good-breeding and
politeness, yet he affected a rude bluntness of manner and
strange independence of character, that was not always under-
stood or allowed. He would call Lord Oxford out of the
house merely to form some trifling arrangement, and he
would make Lady Burlington sing though she expressed a
disinclination; but to his inferiors, this waywardness of dis-
position often passed into offences that could not be borne,
and he trespassed at last too much on the good-nature and
attachment of Sheridan. He is said to have much disliked
the military, and the profession of the law always afforded a
rich harvest of bitter sarcasms and ridicule.
Swift was steady and zealous in his friendships, and those
whom he promoted by his interest, or received into his inti-
macy, were generally persons distinguished for their patriotism
or their talents. His prejudices and antipathies were grounded
upon reasons of political aversion. The language which he
72
LIFE OF SWIFT.
habitually used when alluding to Lord Somers and Sir Robert
Walpole, and others, is well known; his resentment outlived
the faculties and life of the Duke of Marlborough, and atten-
ded his funeral with a satirical epitaph. He was unable to
forbear throwing out sarcasm against Steele, in the Rhapsody
on Poetry, when death ought to have disarmed resentment.
In the spleen and severity of his latter days, he classed his
friends into grateful, ungrateful, indifferent and doubtful. It
is with satisfaction that we see the names of our favorite poets.
Pope and Gay, ranked among the few who are honoured with
'he full esteem of the writer; and we find Dr. Parnelle and
Mr. Berkeley, marked with the letters of disapprobation, we
must make some allowance for the suspicion and caprice
which accompanied the infirmities of his age. When his
different productions were submitted to the corrections of his
friends, he received their remarks with candour and atten-
tion. At Addison's suggestion, he made considerable altera-
tions in the Poem of Baucis and Philemon. On another
occasion he put a pamphlet into the hands of a clergyman,
for the benefit of his remarks; the critic suggested some alte-
rations, but when the work appeared, he became sensible that
the passages were altered for the worse, and expressed his
regret that the Dean had acquiesced in the alteration.
"Sir (said Swift), I considered that the passages were of no
great consequence, and I made the alterations you desired
without hesitation; but, had I stood up in its defence, you
might have imputed it to the vanity of an author, unwilling
to hear of his errors; and by this ready compliance, I hoped
you would at all times hereafter be more free in your
LIFE OF SWIFT.
73
(
remarks." Sir W. Scott has summed up Swift's character as
an author, in such a just and discriminating manner, and has
given such value to his praise by its impartiality, that I can-
not do better than extract from it what is necessary to enable
the reader of Swift's works, to form a correct estimation of his
talents.
it
"As an author, there are three peculiarities remarkable in
the character of Swift: the first is, the distinguished attribute.
cannot be refused to him by
of originality, and it
the most severe critic. Even Johnson has allowed that no
author can be found who has borrowed so little, or who has
well maintained his claim to be considered original. There
was, indeed, nothing written before his time which could
serve for his model, and the few hints which he has adopted
from other authors, bear no more resemblance to his compo-
sitions, that the green flax to the cable which is formed from
it.
"The second peculiarity, is his total indifference to literary
fame. Swift executed his various and numerous works, as a
carpenter forms wedges, mallets, or other implements of his
art-not with the purpose of distinguishing himself by the
workmanship of the tools themselves, but solely in order to
render them fit for accomplishing a certain purpose, beyond
which they were of no value in his eyes. He is often
anxious about the success of his argument, and jealous of
those who debate the principles and the purpose for which he
assumes the pen, but he evinces on all occasions an unaffected
indifference for the fate of his writings, providing the end of
their publication was answered. The careless mode in which
4
74
LIFE OF SWIFT.
Swift suffered his works to get to the public, his refusing
them the credit of his name, and his denouncing all connection
with the profits of literature, indicate his disdain of the char-
acter of a professional author.
"The third distinguishing mark of Swift's literary character
is, that with the exception of history (for his fugitive attempts
in Pindaric and Latin verse are too unimportant to be noticed),
he has never attempted a style of composition, in which he
has not obtained a distinguished pitch of excellence. We
may often think the immediate style of exercising his talents
trifling, and sometimes coarse and offensive; but his Anglo-
Latin verses, his riddles, his indelicate descriptions and his
violent political satires, are in their various departments as
excellent as the subjects admitted, and only leave us more
occasion to regret that so much talent was not uniformly
employed on nobler topics."
As a poet, Swift's post is pre-eminent in the sort of poetry
which he cultivated. He never attempted any species of com-
position in which either the sublime or pathetic were required
of him. But in every department of poetry where that was
necessary, he displayed as the subject chanced to require,
either the blasting lightning of satire, or the lambent and
meteor-like caricatures of frolicsome humour. His powers of
versification are admirably adapted to his favourite subject.
Rhyme, which is a handcuff to an inferior poet, he who is
master of his art wears as a bracelet. Swift was of the latter
description; his lines fall as easily into the best grammati ›al
arrangement, and the most simple and forcible expression, as
if he had been writing in prose. The number and coincidence
LIFE OF SWIFT.
75
of rhymes, always correct and natural, though often unex-
pected, distinguish the current of his poetical composition,
which exhibit otherwise no mark of the difficulties with which
those graces are obtained. In respect of matter, Swift seldom
elevates his tone above a satirical dialogue, a moral lesson, or
a poem on manners, but the former are unrivalled in severity,
and the latter in ease. Sometimes, however, the intensity of
his satire gives to his poetry a character of emphatic violence,
which borders upon grandeur. This is peculiarly distin-
guishable in the Rhapsody on Poetry which, according to Dr.
King, he accounted his best satire, and surely with great justice;
yet this grandeur is founded, not on sublimity either of concep
tion or expression, but upon the energy of both, and indicates
rather ardour of temper, than power of imagination. "Facit
indignatio versus." The elevation of tone arises from the
strong mood of passion, rather than from poetical fancy.
When Dryden told Swift he would never be a poet, he only
had reference to the Pindaric Odes, where power of imagina-
tion was necessary to success.
In the walk of satire and familiar poetry, wit and knowledge
of mankind, joined to facility of expression, are the principal
requisites of excellence, and in these Swift shines unrivalled.
Cadenus and Vanessa may be considered as his chef d'œuvre
in that class of poems which is not professedly satirical. It is
a poem on manners, and, like one of Marmontel's Contes
Moraux, traces the progress and circulation of passion, exist-
ing between two persons in modern society, contrasted strongly
in age, manners, and situation. Yet even here the satirical
vein of Swift has predominated. We look in vain for depth,
76
LIFE OF SWIFT.
of feeling or tenderness of sentiment, although, had such
existed in the poet's mind, the circumstances must have called
it forth. The mythological fable, which conveys the compli-
ments paid to Vanessa, is as cold as that addressed to Ardelia
or to Miss Floyd. It is in short a kind of poetry, which
neither affects sublimity nor pathos; but which, in the grace-
ful facility of the poet, unites with the acute observation of the
observer of human nature, to commemorate the singular
contest between Cadenus and Vanessa, as an extraordinary
chapter in the history of the mind.
The Dean's promptitude in composition was equal to his
smoothness and felicity of expression. At Mr. Gore's, in the
county of Cavan, he heard the lively air called the Feast of
O'Rourke; and obtaining a literal translation of the original
Irish song from the author, Mr. Macgowan, executed, with
surprising rapidity, the spirited translation which is found in
his works. Of the general style of Swift's poems, Johnson
has said, "They are often humorous, almost always light, and
have the qualities which recommend such compositions, easi
ness and gayety. They are, for the most part, what their author
intended; the diction is correct, the numbers smooth, and the
rhymes exact. There seldom occurs a hard laboured expres-
sion, or a redundant epithet; all his verses exemplify his own
definition of a good style-'proper words in proper places.'
As an historian Swift is entitled to little notice: his History
of England is an abridgment, written evidently in imitation
of Paterculus, but without those advantages in point of infor-
mation which render the Latin author valuable. The Dean
abandoned his task, 'because.' as he said with a sort of smile
"
LIFT OF SWIFT.
77
1
to Mr. Deane Swift, 'I have found them all such a pack of
rascals, I would have no more to say to them.' His account
of the four last years of Queen Anne has little pretensions to
the name of history. It is written with the feelings and pre-
judices of a party writer, and does not deserve to be separated
from The Examiner and other political tracts of which Swift
was the author.
But although his political treatises raised his fame when
published, and are still read as excellent models of that
species of composition, it is to his Tale of a Tub, to the
Battle of the Books, to his moral romance of Gulliver, and to
maller, but not less exquisite satire on Men and Manners,
that Swift owes the extent and permanency of his popularity
as an English classic of the first rank.
In reference to these works, Card. Polignac used the
remarkable expression, 'qu'il avoit l'esprit créateur.' He
possessed, indeed, in the highest perfection, the wonderful
power of so embodying and imaging forth the shadows and
riches of the mind, that the picture of the imagination is
received by the reader as if it were truth. Undoubtedly the
same keen and powerful intellect, which could sound all the
depths and shallows of active life, had stored his mind with
facts drawn from his own acute observation, and thus supplied
with materials the creative talent which he possessed. In
fiction he possessed, in the most extensive sense, the art of
verisimilitude-the power of adopting and sustaining a ficti-
tious character under every peculiarity of place and circum-
stance. A considerable part of this secret rests upon minute-
ness of narrative. Small and detached facts formed the fore
78
LIFE OF SWIFT.
ground of a narrative when told by an eye-witness. They are
the subjects which immediately press upon his attention, and
have, with respect to him as an individual, an importance
which they are far from bearing to the general scene in which
he is engaged. But to a distant spectator, all thece minute.
incidents are lost and blended in the general current of events;
and it requires the discrimination of Swift or Defoe to select
in a fictitious narrative, such an enumeration of minute inci-
dents as might strike the beholder of a real fact, especially
such a one as has not been taught by an enlarged mind and
education, to generalize his observations.
The proposition I have ventured to lay down respecting
the art of giving verisimilitude to a fictitious narrative,
has a corollary resting on this one principle. As minute par-
ticulars, pressing close upon the observation of the nar-
rator, occupy a disproportionate share of his narrative, and
of his observation, so circumstances more important in them-
selves, in those cases, attract his notice only partially, and
are, therefore, but imperfectly detailed; in other words, there
is a distance as also a foreground in narrative as in natu-
ral perspective, and the scale of objects necessarily decreases
as they are withdrawn from the vicinity of him who reports
them. In this particular the art of Swift is equally mani-
fest. The information which Gulliver acquires from hearsay
is communicated in a more vague and general manner than
that reported on his own knowledge. He does not, like other
voyagers in Utopian realms, bring us back a minute account
of their laws and government, but merely such general jufor-
mation upon these topics as a well informed and curious
LIFE OF SWIFT.
79
ranger may be reasonably supposed to acquire during some
months' residence in a foreign country. In short, the narra-
tives--the centre and main spring of the story, which neither
exhibits a degree of extended information, such as circum-
stances could not permit him to acquire, nor omits those
minute incidents which the same circumstances rendered
of importance to him, because immediately affecting his own
person. Swift has the more easily attained this perfection of
fictitious narrative, because in all his work, of whatever des-
cription, he has attained the most undeviating attention to
the point at issue. What Mr. Cambridge has justly observed
of the Battle of Books, is equally true as a general character-
istic of Swift's writings; whoever examines them will find
that through the whole piece, no one episode or allusion is
introduced for its own sake, but every point appears not only
consistent with, but written for the express purpose of
strengthening and supporting the whole. Upon the style of
Swift Dr. Johnson made the following observations, which are
entitled to weight from the learning and character of the
critic. It is, however, as Scott observes, to be considered, that
the author of the Rambler may be supposed in some degree
to undervalue a structure of composition so strikingly opposed
to his own, and that Dr. Johnson appears to have been un-
friendly to the memory of Swift.
"In his works he has given very different specimens both
of sentiment and expression. His Tale of a Tub has little
resemblance to his other pieces. It exhibits a vehemence
and rapidity of mind, a copiousness of images and a vivacity
of diction, such as he afterwards never possessed or never
80
LIFE OF SWIFT.
exerted. It is of a mode so distinct and peculiar that it must
be considered of itself, what is true, of that, is not true of any
thing else that he has written. In his other works is found
an agreeable tenor of easy language, which rather trickles
than flows. His delight was in simplicity. That he has in his
works no metaphor, as has been stated, is not true, but his few
metaphors seem to be received rather by necessity than
choice. He studied purity, and though perhaps all his
strictures are not exact, yet it is not often these solecisms can
be found; and whoever depends on his authority may gene-
rally conclude himself safe. His sentences are never too much
dilated or contracted, and it would not be easy to find any
embarrassment in the complication of his clauses, any incon-
sequence in his connections, or abruptness in his transitions.
His style was well suited to his thoughts, which are never sub-
tilized by rare disquisitions, decorated by sparkling conceits,
elevated by ambitious sentences, or variegated by far sought
learning. He pays no court to the passions, he excites neither
surprise nor admiration. He always understands himself, and
his readers always understand him. The peruser of Swift
wants little previous knowledge, and it is sufficient that he is
acquainted with common words and with common things.
Ile is neither required to mount elevations, nor explore pro-
fundities. His passage is always on a level, or by solid
ground, without asperities, without obstruction." Granger,
in his Biographical History, has given the following character
of Swift, which has been thought worthy of insertion in mere
than one of the accounts of his life.
"Jonathan Swift was possessed in a higher degree than
LIFE OF SWIFT.
81
any of his contemporaries with the power of a creative
genius. The more we dwell on the character and writings
of this great man, the more they improve upon us; in what.
ever light we view him he still appears to be an original.
His wit, his humor, his patriotism, his charity, and his piety,
were of a different cast from those of other men. He had in
his virtues few equals, and in his talents no superior. In that
of humor, and especially of irony, he ever was, and probably
ever will be, unrivalled. He did the highest honour to his
country by his parts, and was a great blessing to it by the
vigilance and activity of his public spirit. His style, which
generally consists of the most naked and simple terms, is
strong, clear, and expressive; familiar without vulgarity or
meanness, and beautiful without affectation or c:nament.
He is sometimes licentious in his satire, and transgresses the
bounds of delicacy and purity. He, in the latter par of his
life, availed himself of the privilege of his great wit to trifle;
but when, in this instance, we deplore the misapplication of
such wonderful abilities, we at the same time admire the
whims, if not the dotage of Swift. He was, perhaps, the
only clergyman of his time who had a thorough knowledge
of men and manners. His Tale of a Tub, his Gulliver's
Travels, and his Drapier's Letters, are the most considerable of
his prose works, and his Legion Club, his Cadenus and
Vanessa, and his Rhapsody on poetry, are at the head of his
poetical performances. His writings in general are regarded
as standing models of our language, as well as perpetual mon
uments of their author's fame."
1*
PART I.
¡
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.*
CHAPTER I.
The author gives some account of himself and family-his arst inducements to
travel- 18 shipwrecked, and swims for bis life gets safe on shore in the
country of Lilhput-is made a prisoner, and carried up the country.
My father had a small estate in Nottinghamshire; I was
the third of five sons. He sent me to Emanuel College in
Cambridge, at fourteen years old, where I resided three
years, and applied myself close to my studies; but the charge
of maintaining me, although I had a very scanty allowance,
* Gulliver's travels were originally designed to form part of a satire on the
Abuse of Human Learning, projected by Pope, Swift, and Arbuthnot. In their
joint publication, the "Memoirs of Martinus Scriblerus," the sketch of the work is
thus given by Pope :--
"It was in the year 1699, that Martin set out on his travels. Thou wilt certainly
be very curious to know what they were. It is not yet time to inform thee; but
what hints I am at liberty to give I will.
"Thou shalt know, then, that in his first voyage he was carried by a prosperous
storm to a discovery of the ancient Pygmean empire.
"L
That, in his second, he was happily shipwrecked on the land of the Giants, the
most humane people in the world.
"That, in his third, he discovered a whole kingdom of philosophers, who goveru
by the mathematics; with whose admirable schemes and projects he returned to
benefit his own dear country; but had the misfortune to find them rejected by the
envious ministers of Queen Anne, and himself sent treacherously away.
"And hence it is that in his fourth voyage he discovers a vein of melancholy,
proceeding almost to a disgust of his species; but above all, a mortal detestation
of the whole flagitious race of ministers, and a final resolution not to give in any
memorial to the Secretary of State, in order to subject the lands he discovered to
the crown of Great Britain.
86
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
being too great for a narrow fortune, I was bound apprentice
to Mr. James Bates, an eminent surgeon in London, with
whom I continued four years; and my father now and then
sending me small sums of money, I laid them out in learning
"Now, if by these hints the reader can help himself to a farther discovery of the
nature and contents of these travels, he is welcome to as much light as they afford
him I am obliged by all the ties of honour, not to speak more openly."
Pope, however, appears to have been displeased at the substitution of Lemuel
Gulliver for Martinus Scriblerus; he adds, rather ill-naturedly:
"But if
any man shall see such very extraordinary voyages which manifest the
most distinguishing marks of a philosopher, a politician, and a legislator, and can
Imagine them to belong to a surgeon of a ship, or a captain of a merchantman,
let him remain in his ignorance."
Swift himself thus announces the approaching appearance of the work, in a letter
to Pope, dated Dublin, September 29th, 1725, "I have employed my time (besides
ditching) in finishing, correcting, amending, and transcribing my travels, in four
parts complete, newly augmented, and intended for the press when the world shall
deserve them, or rather when a printer shall be found bold enough to venture bis
ears."
The existence of a nation of pigmies was firmly believed in ancient times. The
diminutive race is mentioned by Herodotus, Aristotle, Pliny, and even by some of
the earlier modern travellers. The following account is from Ctesias, who was
cotemporary with Xenophon. "In the middle of India, there are black men called
pigmies, using the same language as the other Indians; they are very little, the
tallest of them being but two cubits, and most of them but a cubit and a half high.
They have very long hair, reaching down to their knees and lower; and a beard
larger than any man's. After their beards are grown long they wear no clothes,
but the hair of their heads falls behind a great deal below their hams, and that of
their beard before comes down to their feet; then laying their hair thick all about
their body, they afterwards gird themselves, making use of their hair for clothes.
They are flat-nosed and ill-favoured. Their sheep are like lambs, and their oxen
and asses scarce as big as rams, and their horses and mules, and all their other
cattle, not bigger. Three thousand of these pigmies are household troops in the ser-
vice of the king of India. They are good archers. They are very just, and use the
same laws as the Indians do."
Some of the old commentators on the Bible translated the word Gammachia,
pigmies, and it is so rendered in the Vulgate: "This circumstance," as Sir Thomas
Browne remarks in his 'Enquiries into Vulgar Errors," tended greatly to confirm
popular belief in the existence of this fabulous race." Viewed as a mere fiction, the
account of Lilliput did not appear so extravagant in Swift's days as it does in ours.
Every one has heard the story of the Irish bishop, a very learned man, who, having
read the voyage to Lilliput, said that "there were some things in it, which he could
Dot believe.”
After the publication of the Travels, Swift was much amused to find that Gulliver
was a real name, and that a Mr. Jonathan Gulliver was a member of the House of
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
87
navigation, and other parts of the mathematics, useful to those
who intend to travel, as I always believed it would be, some
time or other, my fortune to do. When I left Mr. Bates, I
went down to my father; where, by the assistance of him
and my uncle John, and some other relations, I got forty
pounds, and a promise of thirty pounds a year to maintain met
at Leyden; there I studied physic two years and seven
months, knowing it would be useful to me in long voyages.
Soon after my return from Leyden, I was recommended by
my good master, Mr. Bates, to be surgeon to the Swallow,
Captain Abraham Pannell commander; with whom I con-
tinued three years and a half, making a voyage or two into
the Levant and some other parts. When I came back I
resolved to settle in London; to which Mr. Bates, my master,
encouraged me, and by him I was recommended to several
patients. I took part of a small house in the Old Jewry;
and being advised to alter my condition, I married Miss Mary
Burton, second daughter to Mr. Edmund Burton, hosier in
Newgate-street, with whom I received four hundred pounds
for a portion.*
Representatives in Boston. An American writer adds, that this Jonathan deemed it
necessary to disclaim publicly all connexion with Lemuel.
* Swift and Defoe are unrivalled in the art of introducing trifling and minute cir-
cumstances, which give an air of reality to their fictitious narratives. In Gulliver's
early history, as in that of Crusoe, persons are casually mentioned, of whom we
hear nothing more. Gulliver's uncle, like Crusoe's brother, only comes on the stage
o disappear again for ever. This is quite contrary to the usual course of romance
writers, who rarely introduce a personage or an incident that does not in some way
aid the development of the plot. Sir Walter Scott suggests that Swift probably imi-
tated Defoe in this particular, but the ideal character of Gulliver naturally led the
Dean to introduce these petty particulars. He designed to portray Gulliver as a
kind of second Dampler, uniting the homely sense and prejudice of a true-born
Englishman to the acquired wisdom of a life of adventures. There is a sailor's
bluntness and frankness in everything that Gulliver tells us of himself and family;
the occasional minuteness, and even coarseness, of the personal details are faith-
fully taken from the journals of the early English voyagers, whose accounts of their
discoveries are strangely blended with the most trilling particulars respecting their
food, clothing, etc. The character of Gulliver is that of a thorough English sailor;
bis education at Leyden did not raise him too high above the rude tars with who
38
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
But my good master Bates dying in two years after, and I
having few friends, my business began to fail; for my con
science would not suffer me to imitate the bad practice of too
many among my brethren. Having, therefore, consulted with
my wife and some of my acquaintance, I determined to
go again to sea. I was surgeon successively in two ships,
and made several voyages, for six years, to the East and West
Indies, by which I got some addition to my fortune. My
hours of leisure I spent in reading the best authors, ancient
and modern, being always provided with a good number of
books; and when I was ashore, in observing the manners and
dispositions of the people, as well as learning their language;
wherein I had great facility, by the strength of my memory.
The last of these voyages not proving very fortunate, I grew
weary of the sea, and intended to stay at home with my wife
and family. I removed from the Old Jewry to Fetter-lane,
and from thence to Wapping, hoping to get business among
the sailors, but it would not turn to account. After three
years' expectation that things would mend, I accepted an
advantageous offer from Captain William Prichard, master of
the Antelope, who was making a voyage to the South Sea
We set sail from Bristol, May 4, 1699, and our voyage at first
was very prosperous.
It would not be proper, for some reasons, to trouble the
reader with the particulars of our adventures in those seas;
let it suffice to inform him, that in our passage from thence to
the East Indies, we were driven by a violent storm to the
north-west of Van Dieman's Land.* By an observation, we
he mingled, and we always find his learning brought forward with difficulty, and
by an effort, while his mother-wit and sailor's courage are present in every emer
gency.
This island was first discovered, A. D. 1633, by Abel Janson Tasman, a Dutch
navigator, who called it Van Diemen's Land, after the governor of Batavia, by
whom he had been sent to examine the Southern Ocean. Tasman's narrative was
very loose and inaccurate, so that Swift might people the seas which that navigato
traversed, with any creatures be pleased.
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
89
found ourselves in the latitude of 30 degrees 2 minutes
south. Twelve of our crew were dead by immoderate labor
and ill food; the rest were in a very weak condition. On the
5th of November, which was the beginning of summer in
those parts, the weather being very hazy, the seamen spied a
rock within half a cable's length of the ship; but the wind was
so strong that we were driven directly upon it, and immediately
split. Six of the crew, of whom I was one, having let down
the boat into the sea, made a shift to get clear of the ship
and the rock. We rowed, by my computation, about three
leagues, till we were able to work no longer, being already
spent with labor while we were in the ship. We therefore
trusted ourselves to the mercy of the waves, and in about
half an hour the boat was overset by a sudden flurry from
the north. What became of my companions in the boat, as
well as of those who escaped on the rock, or were left in the
vessel, I cannot tell; but conclude they were all lost. For
my own part, I swam as fortune directed me, and was pushed
forward by wind and tide. I often let my legs drop, and
could feel no bottom; but when I was almost gone, and
able to struggle no longer, I found myself within my depth;
and by this time the storm was much abated. The declivity
was so small, that I walked near a mile before I got to the
shore, which I conjectured was about eight o'clock in the
evening. I then advanced forward near half a mile, but
could not discover any sign of houses or inhabitants; at least
I was in so weak a condition that I did not observe them. I
was extremely tired, and with that, and the heat of the
weather, and about half a pint of brandy that I drank as I
left the ship, I found myself much inclined to sleep. I lay
down on the grass, which was very short and soft, where I
slept sounder than ever I remembered to have done in my
life, and, as I reckoned, about nine hours; for when I
awaked, it was just daylight." I attempted to rise, but was
90
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
not able to stir; for, as I happened to lie on my back, I
found my arms and legs were strongly fastened on each side
to the ground; and my hair, which was long and thick, tied
down in the saine manner. I likewise felt several slender
ligatures across my body, from my arm-pits to my thighs. I
could only look upwards; the sun began to grow, hot, and
the light offended my eyes. I heard a confused noise about
me; but in the posture I lay, could see nothing except the
sky. In a little time I felt something alive moving on my
left leg, which advancing gently forward over my breast,
came almost up to my chin; when bending my eyes down-
ward as much as I could, I perceived it to be a human
creature not six inches inches high, with a bow and arrow in
his hands, and a quiver at his back.* In the meantime, I
felt at least forty more of the same kind (as I conjectured)
following the first. I was in the utmost astonishment, and
roared so loud that they all ran back in a fright; and some
of them, as I was afterwards told, were hurt by the falls they
got by leaping from my sides upon the ground. However,
they soon returned, and one of them, who ventured so far as
to get a full sight of my face, lifting up his hands and eyes
by way of admiration, cried out in a shrill but distinct voice,
Hekinah degul! the others repeated the same words several
times, but I then knew not what they meant.
I lay all this while, as the reader may believe, in great
uneasiness; at length struggling to get loose, I had the for-
*This incident is taken from Philostratus. (Icon. lib. ii. p. 817). "The pigmies,"
he says,
"were anxious to revenge the death of Antæus, and having found Hercules
napping in Libya, they mustered up all their forces against him. One phalanx
assaulted his left hand; but against his right hand, that being the stronger, two
phalanxes were appointed. The archers and slingers besieged his feet, admiring
the hugeness of his thighs; but against his head, as the arsenal, they raised batteries,
the king himself taking his post there. They set fire to his hair, put reaping-hooks
in his eyes; and that he might not breathe, fixed doors to his mouth and nostrils.
But all the execution that they could do was only to awake him; and when this
was done, deriding their folly, he gathered them all up into his lion's skin, and oır-
ried them (Philostratus thinks) 3 Euristhenes."
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
91
my
tune to break the strings, and wrench out the pegs that fas-
tened my left arm to the ground; for, by lifting it up to my
face, I discovered the methods they had taken to bind me,
and at the same time with a violent pull, which gave me
excessive pain, I a little loosened the strings that tied down.
my hair on the left side, so that I was just able to turn my
head about two inches. But the creatures ran off a second
time before I could seize them; whereupon there was a great
shout in a very shrill accent, and after it had ceased I heard
one of them cry aloud, Tolgo phonac; when in an instant I
felt above a hundred arrows discharged on my left hand,
which pricked me like so many needles; and besides, they
shot another flight into the air, as we do bombs in Europe,
whereof many, I suppose fell on my body (though I felt them
not), and some on my face, which I immediately covered with
left hand. When this shower of arrows was over, I fell a
groaning with grief and pain, and then striving again to get
loose, they discharged another volley larger than the first, and
some of them attempted with spears to stick me in the sides;
but by good luck I had on me a buff jerkin which they
could not pierce. I thought it the most prudent method tc
lie still, and my design was to continue so till night, when
my left arm being already loose I could easily free myself
and as for the inhabitants I had reason to believe I might be
a match for the greatest army they could bring against me,
if they were all of the same size with him that I saw. But
fortune disposed otherwise of me. When the people obser-
ved I was quiet, they discharged no more arrows; but, by
the noise I heard, I knew their numbers increased; and about
four yards from ine, over against my right ear, I heard a
knocking for above an hour, like that of people at work;
when turning my head that way as well as the pegs and
strings would permit me, I saw a stage erected about a foot
and a half from the ground, capable of holding four of the
92
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
inhabitants, with two or three ladders to mount it; from
whence one of them who seemed to be a person of quality,
made me a long speech, whereof I understood not one sylla-
ble.*
But I should have mentioned, that before the principal
person began his oration, he cried out three times, Langro
dehul san (these words and the former were afterwards
repeated and explained to me). Whereupon, immediately
about fifty of the inhabitants came and cut the string that
fastened the left side of my head, which gave me the liberty
of turning to the right, and of observing the person and ges-
ture of him that was to speak. He appeared to be of middle
age, and taller than any of the other three who attended him,
Moore has made a very amusing use of this incident, in an ode to Bir Hudscr
Lewe. which is too good to be passed over with a mere reference.
Sir Hudson Lowe, Sir Hudson Low,
(By name, and ah! by nature so,)
As thou art fond of persecutions;
Perhaps thou'st read, or heard repeated
How Captain Gulliver was treated,
When thrown among the Lilliputians.
They tied him down-these little men did-
And having valiantly ascended
Upon the mighty man's protuberance,
They did so strut! Upon my soul
It must have been extremely droll
To see their pigmy pride's exuberance!
And how the doughty mannikins
Amused themselves with sticking pins
And needles in the great man's breeches;
And how some very little things,
That pass'd for lords, on scaffoldings
Got up and worried him with speeches,
Alas
alas! that it should happen,
To mighty men to be caught napping;
Though different too these persecutions,
For Gulliver there took the nap,
While here the Nap-ah, sad mishap!-
Is taken by the Lilliputians.
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
93
whereof one was a page that held up his train, and seemed to
be somewhat longer than my middle finger; and the other
two stood one on each side to support him. He acted every
part of an orator, and I could observe many periods of threat-
I ans-
enings, and others of promises, pity, and kindness.*
wered in a few words, but in the most submissive manner,
lifting up my left hand and both my eyes to the sun, as calling
him for a witness; and being almost famished with hunger,
not having eaten a morsel for some hours before I left the
ship, I found the demands of nature so strong upon me that I
could not forbear showing my impatience (perhaps against the
strict rules of decency), by putting my finger frequently to
my mouth, to signify that I wanted food. The hurgo (for so
they call a great lord as I afterwards learnt) understood me
very well. He descended from the stage, and commanded
that several ladders should be applied to my sides, on which
above a hundred inhabitants mounted and walked towards
my mouth, laden with baskets full of meat, which had been
provided and sent thither by the king's orders, upon the first
'ntelligence he received of me. I observed there was the flesh
of several animals, but could not distinguish them by the
taste. There were shoulders, legs and loins, shaped like those
of mutton, and very well dressed, but smaller than the wings
of a lark. I ate them by two and three at a mouthful, and
took three loaves at a time about the bigness of musket bul-
lets. They'supplied me as fast as they could, showing a thou-
In the excitement that followed the Revolution, public speaking became more
common in England than it had ever been before, and several of the whig lords
rendered efficient service to the cause of the Hanoverian succession, by their
speeches at county meetings. Swift despised and bated these itinerant orators, to
whose exertions the overthrow of his party was mainly owing, and it is probable
that in this description he alludes to some particular leader of the whig party who
was remarkable for his addresses to popular assemblies. Sir Robert Walpole after
his expulsion from parliament was an active agitator among the whigs, and was
not less formidable to Harley and Bolingbroke, outside the walls of the House of
Commons, than he had been as a leader of parliamentary opposition.
94
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
полови
sand marks of wonder and astonishment at my bulk and
appetite.
1 then made another sign that I wanted drink. They found
by my eating that a small quantity would not suffice me; and
being a most ingenious people, they slung up, with great dex-
terity, one of their largest hogsheads, then rolled it towards
my hand, and beat out the top; I drank it off at a draught,
which I might well do, for it did not hold half a pint, and
tasted like a small wine of Burgundy, but much more deli-
cious. They brought me a second hogshead, which I drank in
the same manner, and made signs for more; but they had none
to give me. When I had performed these wonders they
shouted for joy, and danced upon my breast, repeating several
times as they did at first, Hekinah degul. They made me a
sign that I should throw down the two hogsheads, but first
warning the people below to stand out of the way, crying
aloud, Borach mevolah, and when they saw the vessels in the
air, there was a universal shout of Hekinah degul. I confess
I was often tempted, while they were passing backwards and
forwards on my body, to seize forty or fifty of the first that
came in my reach, and dash them against the ground. But
the remembrance of what I had felt, which probably might
not be the worst they could do, and the promise of honour I
made them-for so I interpreted my submissive behaviour-
soon drove out these imaginations. Besides, I now consid-
ered myself as bound by the laws of hospitality, to a people
who had treated me with so much expense and magnificence.
However, in my thoughts I could not sufficiently wonder at
the intrepidity of these diminutive mortals, who durst venture
to mount and walk upon my body while one of my hands was
at liberty, without trembling at the very sight of so prodigious
a creature as I must appear to them. After some time, when
they observed that I made no more demands for meat, there
appeared before me a person of high rank from his imperial
G.
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
95
majesty. His excellency, having mounted on the small of my
right leg, advanced forwards up to my face, with about a
dozen of his retinue, and producing his credentials under the
signet royal, which he applied close to my eyes, spoke about
ten minutes without any signs of anger, but with a kind of
determinate resolution; often pointing forwards, which as I
afterwards found, was towards the capital city, about half a
mile distant, whither it was agreed by his majesty in council
that I must be conveyed. I answered in few words, but to no
purpose, and made a sign with my hand that was loose, put-
ting it to the other (but over his excellency's head for fear of
hurting him or his train), and then to my own head and body,
to signify that I desired my liberty.
It appeared that he understood me well enough, for he
shook his head by way of disapprobation, and held his hands
in a posture to show that I must be carried as a prisoner.
However, he made other signs, to let me understand that ]
should have meat and drink enough, and very good treatment
Whereupon I once more thought of attempting to break my
bonds; but again, when I felt the smart of their arrows upon
my face and hands, which were all in blisters, and many of the
darts still sticking in them, and observing likewise that the
number of my enemies increased, I gave tokens to let them
know that they might do with me what they pleased. Upon
this, the hurgo and his train withdrew, with much civility and
cheerful countenances. Soon after I heard a general shout,
with frequent repetitions of the words, Peplom selan; and I
felt great numbers of the people on my left side relaxing the
cords to such a degree that I was able to turn upon my right,
and to ease myself with making water; which I very plenti-
fully did, to the great astonishment of the people; who, con-
jecturing by my motion what I was going to do, immediately
opened to the right and left on that side, to avoid the torrent,
which fell with such noise and violence from me. But, before
96
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
this they had daubed my face and both my hands with a sort
of ointment, very pleasant to the smell, which in a few minutes
removed all the smart of their arrows. These circumstances,
added to the refreshment I had received by their victuals and
drink, which were very nourishing, disposed me to sleep. I
Elept about eight hours, as I was afterwards assured; and it
was no wonder, for the physicians, by the emperor's order,
had mingled a sleepy potion in the hogsheads of wine.
It seems, that upon the first moment I was discovered sleep-
ing on the ground, after my landing, the emperor had early
notice of it by an express; and determined in council, that I
should be tied in the manner I have related (which was done
in the night while I slept), that plenty of meat and drink
should be sent me, and a machine prepared to carry me to the
capital city. This resolution perhaps may appear very bold
and dangerous, and I am confident would not be imitated by
any prince in Europe on the like occasion. However, in my
opinion, it was extremely prudent, as well as generous; for,
supposing these people had endeavoured to kill me with their
spears and arrows, while I was asleep, I should certainly have
awaked with the first sense of smart, which might so far have
aroused my rage and strength as to have enabled me to break
the strings wherewith I was tied; after which, as they were
not able to make resistance, so they could expect no mercy.
These people are most excellent mathematicians, and arrived
to a great perfection in mechanics by the countenance and
encouragement of the emperor, who is a renowned patron of
learning. This prince has several machines fixed on wheels,
for the carriage of trees and other great weights. He often
builds his largest men-of-war, whereof some are nine feet long,
in woods where the timber grows, and has them carried ou
these engines three or four hundred yards to the sea. Five
hundred carpenters and engineers were immediately set at
work to prepare the greatest'engine they had. It was a frame
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
97
of wood raised three inches from the ground, about seven feet
long and four wide, moving upon twenty-two wheels. The
shout I heard was upon the arrival of this engine, which, it
seems, set out in four hours after my landing. It was brought
parallel to me, as I lay. But the principal difficulty was to
raise and place me in this vehicle. Eighty poles, each of one
foot high, were erected for this purpose, and very strong cords
of the bigness of packthread, were fastened by hooks to many
bandages, which the workmen had girt round my neck, my
hands, my body, and my legs. Nine hundred of the strongest
men were employed to draw up these cords, by many pulleys
fastened on poles; and thus, in less than three hours, I was
raised and slung into the engine, and there tied fast.* All
this I was told; for, while the operation was performing, I lay
in a profound sleep, by the force of that soporiferous medicine.
infused into my liquor. Fifteen hundred of the emperor's
largest horses, each about four inches and a half high, were
employed to draw me towards the metropolis, which, as I said,
was half a mile distant.
About four hours after we began our journey, I awaked by
a very ridiculous accident; for the carriage being stopped a
while, to adjust something that was out of order, two or three
young natives had the curiosity to see how I looked when I
was asleep; they climbed up into the engine, and advanced
very softly to my face; one of them an officer in the guards,
put the sharp end of his half-pike a good way up into my left.
*The caution of the Lilliputian courtiers is probably designed to ridicule the over-
acted solicitude by which the ministers of George I. affected to protect the king from
the plots of Jacobites. The Tories who hasted to greet the king on his landing,
were either refused admittance or harshly dismissed. "Lord Harcourt, who arrived
with a patent for the peerage of the Prince of Wales, was abruptly dismissed; the
Duke of Ormond, who was hastening to Greenwich, was forbidden to appear in
the royal presence; and Lord Oxford, who had shown more joy in proclaiming the
king, than his friends thought respectful towards the late queen, was barely admit-
ted in the crowd to kiss the king's hand."-Lord J. Russell's Afairs of Eurone,
vol. i. p. 308.
5
98
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
nostril, which tickled my nose like a straw, and made me
sneeze violently; whereupon they stole off unperceived, and it
was three weeks before I knew the cause of my waking so
suddenly. We made a long march the remaining part of the
day, and rested at night with five hundred guards on each
side of me, half with torches, and half with bows and arrows,
ready to shoot me if I offered to stir. The next morning at sun-
rise we continued our march, and arrived within two hundred
yards of the city gates about noon. The emperor and all his
court, came out to meet us, but his great officers would by no
means suffer his majesty to endanger his person by mounting
on my body.
At a place where the carriage stopped, there stood an
ancient temple, esteemed to be the largest in the kingdom;
which having been polluted some years before by an unnatu-
ral murder, was, according to the zeal of those people, looked
upon as profane, and therefore had been applied to commor
use, and all the ornaments and furniture carried away. In
this edifice it was determined I should lodge. The great gato
fronting to the north was about four feet high, and almost two
feet wide, through which I could easily ereep. On each side
of the gate was a small window, not above six inches from the
ground; into that on the left side the king's smith conveyed
four score and eleven chains, like those that hang to a ladies
watch in Europe, and almost as large, which were locked to
my left leg and six-and-thirty padlocks. Over against this
temple, on the other side of the great highway, at twenty feet
distance, there was a turret at least five feet high. Here the
emperor ascended, with many principal lords of his court, to
have an opportunity of viewing me, as I was told, for I could
not see them. It was reckoned that above a hundred thou-
sand inhabitants came out of the town upon the same errand;
and in spite of my guards, I believe there could be no fewer
that ten thousand at several times, who mounted my body by
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
09
the help of ladders. But a proclamation was Loon issued, to
forbid it upon pain of death. When the workmen found it
was impossible for me to break loose, they cut all the
strings that bound me; whereupon I rose up, with as melan-
choly a disposition as ever I had in my life. But the noise
and astonishment of the people, at seeing e rise and walk,
are not to be expressed. The chains that held my left leg
were about two yards long, and gave me nut only the liber-
ty of walking backwards and forwards in a semicircle; but,
bring fixed within four inches of the gate, alowed me to creep
in, and lie at my full length in the temple.
100
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
CHAPTER II.
The Emperor of Lilliput, attended by several of the nobility, comes to sa ino
author in his confinement-The Emperor's person and habits described.—Learn: 1
men appointed to teach the author their language-He gains favour oy his mill
disposition-His pockets are searched, and his sword and ristols taken from aim.
QUIETLY as I had endured my tedious confinement to one
posture, it was with great pleasure that I found myself again
upon my feet: I looked about me, and must confess that I
never beheld a more entertaining prospect. The country
around appeared like a continued garden, and the enclosed
fields, which were generally forty feet square, resembled so
many beds of flowers. These fields were intermingled with
woods of half a stang,* and the tallest trees as I could
judge appeared to be seven feet high. I viewed the town on
my left hand, which looked like the painted scene of a city in
a theatro.
I had been for some hours extremely pressed by the neces-
sities of nature; which was no wonder, it being almost two
days since I last disburdened myself. I was under great diii-
culties between urgency and shame. The best expedient I
could think on, was to creep into my house, which I accord-
ingly did, and shutting the gate after me, I went as far as the
length of my chain would suffer, and discharged my body of
that uneasy load. But this was the only time I was ever
guilty of so uncleanly an action; for which I cannot but
• A stang is a pole or perch; sixteen feet and a half.—Orig.
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
101
hope the candid reader will give some allowance, after he
has candidly and impartially considered my case, and the dis
tress I was i... From this time my constant practice was, as
soon as I rose to perform my business in the open air, at the
full extent of my chain; and due care was taken every morn-
ing, before company came, that the offensive matter should
be carried off in wheelbarrows, by two servants appointed for
that purpose. I would not have dwelt so long upon a circum-
stance that perhaps at first sight may appear not very
momentous, if I had not thought it necessary to justify my
character, in point of cleanliness to the world; which, I am
told some of my maligners have been pleased, upon this and
other occasions to call in question.
When this adventure was at an end, I came back out of
my house, having occasion for fresh air. The emperor
was already descended from the tower, and advancing on
horseback towards me, which had like to have cost him dear ·
for the beast, though well trained, yet wholly unused to such
a sight, which appeared as if a mountain moved before him,
reared up on his hinder feet; but that prince, who is
an excellent horseman, kept his seat, till his attendants ran
in, and held the bridle, while his majesty had time to
dismount When he alighted, he surveyed me round
with great admiration: but kept beyond the length
of my chain. He ordered his cooks and butlers, who
were already prepared, to give me victuals and drink,
which they pushed forward in a sort of vehicles upon wheels,
till I could reach them. I took these vehicles, and soon
emptied them all: twenty of them were filled with meat,
and ten with liquor; each of the former afforded me two
or three good mouthfuls; and I emptied the liquor of ten
vessels, which was contained in earthen vials, into one vehi
cle, drinking it off at a draught; and so I did with the rest.
The empress and young ladies of the blood of both sexes,
102
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
attended by many ladies, sat at some distance in their chairs:
but upon the accident that happened to the emperor's horse,
they alighted, and came near to his person, which I am now
going to describe. He is taller, by almost the breadth of my
nail, than any of his court; which alone is enough to strike
an awe into the beholders. His features are strong and
masculine, with an Austrian lip, and arched nose; his com-
plexion olive, his countenance erect, his body and limbs well
proportioned, all his motions graceful, and his deportment
majestic. He was then past his prime, being twenty-eight
years and three quarters old, of which he had reigned about
seven in great felicity, and generally victorious. For the
better convenience of beholding him, I lay on my side,
so that my face was parallel to his, and he stood but three
yards off: however, I have had him since many times in my
hand, and therefore cannot be deceived in the description.
His dress was very plain and simple, and the fashion of
*There can be little room for doubting that in the description of the emperor of
Lilliput, Swift dimly shadowed forth some leading traits in the character of George
I. The points of direct resemblance, however, for obvious reasons, are very few ;
It is only by collecting all the incidents recorded of the Lilliputian emperor, that
we find out his general similarity to the first monarch of the house of Brunswick.
The following account of George I. will enable the reader to discover the most pro-
minent points of identity in the two portraits. "George I. ascended the English
throne in his fifty-fifth year, when men are usually more disposed tɔ acquiesce in
the settled routine than venture on novel and perhaps troublesome experiments.
Moreover the natural disposition and understanding of the king were not of
a kind, at any period of his life, to carry him out of the established orbit. He was
a person of as simple tastes as appearance; in England he was a stran er
er;
his home being Hanover. He naturally inclined to the seclusion of a private sta-
tion, being shy and reserved in public, but easy and facetious among his uti-
mates. During the fourteen years of his government of the electorate, he had
acquired the reputation of a just and circumspect prince, who well understo´d and
steadily pursued his own interests, and would have been well content to end
his days in the petty sovereignty of his ancestors, had not the ambition of thers
been greater than his own. Punctual in business, he was more dull than inuoïent;
and the plain honesty of his temper, joined with the narrow notions of a low cdu-
cation, made him look upon his acceptance of the crown as an act of usurpation,
which was always uneasy to him. He had no taste for literature or the arts, and.
was very parsimonious "- Wade's British History, p. 834.
".
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
103
it between the Asiatic and the European: but he had on his
head a light helmet of gold, adorned with jewels, and a
plume on the crest. He held his sword drawn in his hand
to defend himself, if I should happen to break loose: it was
almost three inches long; the hilt and scabbard were gold,
enriched with diamonds. His voice was shrill, but very
clear and articulate; and I could distinctly hear it when
I stood up. The ladies and courtiers were all most inagnifi-
cently clad; so that the spot they stood upon seemed
to resemble a petticoat spread on the ground, embroidered
with figures of gold and silver. His imperial majesty spoke
often to me, and I returned answers; but neither of us could
understand a syllable. There were several of his priests and
lawyers present (as I conjectured by their habits), who were
commanded to address themselves to me; and I spoke
to them in as many languages as I had the least smattering
of, which were High and Low Dutch, Latin, French, Spa-
nish, Italian, and Lingua Franca; but all to no purpose.
After about two hours the court retired; and I was left with
a strong guard, to prevent the impertinence, and probably
the malice of the rabble; who were very impatient to crowd
about me as near as they durst; and some of them had
the impudence to shoot their arrows at me, as I sat on the
ground by the door of my house, whereof one very narrowly
missed my left eye. But the colonel ordered six of the
ringleaders to be seized, and thought no punishment so pro-
per as to deliver them bound into my hands; which son e of
his soldiers accordingly did, pushing them forwards with the
butt-ends of their pikes into my reach. I took them all in
my right hand, put five of them into my coat-pocket, and as
to the sixth, I made a countenance as if I would eat him
alive. The poor man squalled terribly, and the colonel and
his officers were in much pain, especially when they saw me
take out my penknife: but I soon put them out of fear; for
104
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
he ran.
looking mildly, and immediately cutting the strings he was
bound with, I set him gently on the ground and away
I treated the rest in the same manner, taking them
one by one out of my pocket; and I observed both the sol-
diers and people were highly delighted at this mark of
my clemency, which was represented very much to my
advantage at court.*
Towards night I got with some difficulty into my house,
where I lay on the ground, and continued to do so about a
fortnight; during which time, the emperor gave orders
to have a bed prepared for me. Six hundred bedst of the
common measure were brought in carriages, and worked up
in my house; a hundred and fifty of their beds, sewn toge-
ther, made up the breadth and length; and these were four
double; which, however, kept me but very indifferently from
the hardness of the floor, that was of smooth stone. By the
same computation they provided me with sheets, blankets,
and coverlets, tolerable enough for one who had been so long
inured to hardships.
As the news of my arrival spread through the kingdom, it
brought prodigious numbers of rich, idle, and curious
people to see me; so that the villages were almost emptied;
and great neglect of tillage and household affairs must
have ensued, if his imperial majesty had not provided by
several proclamations and orders of state, against this incon-
* Gulliver's history as a courtier at Lilliput, is obviously designed to represent
the administration of Harley and Bolingbroke, at the close of Anne's reign.
Whatever were the other demerits of that cabinet, it must be confessed that
they showed more tenderness to the party by which they were opposed, and
greater clemency to political delinquents, than their successors. This forbearance,
especially in the case of libellers, is very ingeniously intimated by Gulliver's grant-
ing pardon to the malicious archers. Swift used frequently to remark that Anne
was the only sovereign during whose entire reign no one suffered the penalties of
high treason.
+ Gulliver has observed great exactness in the just proportion and appearance
of the objects thus lessened.-Orrery.
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
105
veniency. He directed that those who had already beheld
me should return home, and not presume to come within
fifty yards of my house, without license from the court;
whereby he secretaries of state got considerable fees.
In the mean time the emperor held frequent councils, to
debate what course should be taken with me; and I was
afterwards assured by a particular friend, a person of great
quality, who was as much in the secret as any, that the court
was under many difficulties concerning me. They apprehen-
ded my breaking loose; that my diet would be very expensive,
and might cause a famine.* Sometimes they determined to
starve me, or at least to shoot me in the face and hands with
poisoned arrows, which would soon dispatch me; but again
they considered that the stench of so large a carcass might
produce a plague in the metropolis, and probably spread
through the whole kingdom. In the midst of these consulta-
tions several officers of the army went to the door of the great
council chamber, and two of them being admitted, gave an
account of my behaviour to the six criminals above mentioned;
which made so favourable an impression in the breast of his
majesty and the whole board, in my behalf, that an imperial
commission was issued out obliging all the villages, nine hun-
dred yards round the city, to deliver in every morning six
beeves, forty sheep, and other victuals for my sustenance;
together with a proportionable quantity of bread, and wire,
and other liquors; for the due payment of which, his majesty
gave assignments upon his treasury, for this prince lives chiefly
upon his own demesnes; seldom except upon great occasions
raising any subsidies upon his subjects, who are bound to
attend him in his wars at their own expense. An establish-
ment was also made of six hundred persons to be my domes
* The parsimony of George I. has been already noticed; "avarice was so pre
dominant in him, that he would raise o troops to secure the succession.”— Wader
British History, p. 334.
-
106
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
tics, who had board wages allowed for their maintenance, and
tents built for them very conveniently on each side of my
door. It was likewise ordered that three hundred tailors
should make me a suit of clothes, after the fashion of their
country, and that six of his majesty's great scholars hould be
employed to instruct me in their language; and lastly, that
the emperor's horses, and those of the nobility and troops of
guards, should be frequently exercised in my sight, to accus-
tom themselves to me. All these orders were duly put in
execution; and in about three weeks I made a great progress
in learning their language: during which time the emperor
frequently honoured me with his visits, and was pleased to
assist my masters in teaching me. We began already to
converse together in some sort; and the first words I learnt,
were to express my desire" that he would be pleased to give
me my liberty;" which I every day repeated on my knees.
His answer, as I could apprehend it, was, "that this must be
a work of time, not to be thought on without the advice of
his council, and that at first, I must lumos kelmin pesso des-
mar lon emposo;" that is, swear a peace with him and his
kingdom: however, that I should be used with all kindness;
and he advised me "to acquire, by my patience and discreet
behaviour, the good opinion of himself and his subjects."
Ile desired "I would not take it ill, if he gave orders to
certain proper officers to search me; for probably I might
carry about me several weapons, which must needs bo
dangerous things, if they answered the bulk of so prodigious
a person." I said, "His majesty should be satisfied; for I
was ready to strip myself, and turn up my pockets before
him." This I delivered, part in words, and part in signs.
He replied, "that, by the laws of the kingdom, I must be
searched by two of his officers; that he knew this could not
be done without my consent and assistance; and he had so
good an opinion of my generosity and justice, as to trust their
5*
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
107
persons in my hands; that whatever they took from me,
should be returned when I left the country, or paid for at the
rate which I would set upon them." I took up the two
officers in my hands, put them first into my coat-pockets, and
then into every other pocket about me, except my two fobs
and another secret pocket, which I had no mind should be
searched, wherein I had some little necessaries that were of
no consequence to any but myself. In one of my fobs there
was a silver watch, and in the other a small quantity of gold
in a purse. These gentlemen, having pen, ink, and paper
about them, made an exact inventory of everything they saw;
and when they had done, desired I would set them down,
that they might deliver it to the emperor. This inventory I
afterwards translated into English, and is word for word as
follows:*
66
Imprimis, In the right coat-pocket of the great Man-
mountain (for so I interpret the words quinbus flestrin) after
the strictest search, we found only one great piece, of coarse
cloth, large enough to be a foot-cloth for your majesty's chief
room of state. In the left pocket we saw a huge silver chest,
with a cover of the same metal, which we, the searchers,
were not able to lift. We desired it should be opened, and
one of us stepping into it, found himself up to the midleg in
a sort of dust, some part whereof flying up to our faces, set
us both a sneezing for several times together. In his right
waistcoat-pocket we found a prodigious bundle of white thin
substances, folded one over another, about the bigness of
three men, tied with a strong cable, and marked with black
figures; which we humbly conceive to be writings, every
letter almost half as large as the palm of our hands. In the
This inventory is designed to ridicule the reports of the several committees of
secrecy appointed by Walpole to investigate the presumed designs of the Jacobites,
and especially the secret negotiations said to be connected with the treaty of
Utrecht. It was said of these reports, that the committees "found nothing suspi
cious but what they could not understand:" to which it was added that " as they
anderstood nothing, they suspected everything."
108
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
left there was a sort of engine, from the back of which were
extended twenty long poles, resembling the palisadoes before
your majesty's court; wherewith we conjecture the man-
mountaiu combs his head, for we did not always trouble him
with questions, because we found it a great difficulty to make
him understand us. In the large pocket, on the right side
of his middle cover (so I translate the word ranfu-lő, by
which they meant my breeches), we saw a hollow pillar of
iron, about the length of a man, fastened to a strong piece of
timber, larger than the pillar; and upon one side of the pillar
were huge pieces of iron sticking out, cut into strange figures.
which we knew not what to make of. In the left pocket
another engine of the same kind. In the smaller pocket on
the right side, were several round flat pieces of white and red
metal, of different bulk; some of the white which seemed to
be silver, were so large and heavy that my comrade and I could
hardly lift them. In the left pocket were two black pillars
irregularly shaped; we could not without difficulty reach the
top of them, as we stood at the bottom of his pocket. One
of them was covered, and seemed all of a piece; but at the
upper end of the other there appeared a white round sub-
stance, about twice the bigness of our heads. Within each of
these was enclosed a prodigious plate of steel; which by our
orders, we obliged him to show us, because we apprehended
they might be dangerous engines. He took them out of
their cases, and told us, that in his own country his practice
was to shave his beard with one of these, and cut his meat
with the other. There were two pockets which we could not
enter; these he called his fobs; they were two large slits
cut into the top of his middle cover, but squeezed close by
the pressure of his belly. Out of the right fob hung a great
silver chain, with a wonderful kind of engine at the bottom.
We directed him to draw out whatever was at the end of
that chain, which appeared to be a globe, half silver, and half
of some transparent metal; for, on the transparent side, we
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
109
saw certain figures circularly drawn, and thought we could
touch them, till we found our fingers stopped by that lucid
substance. He put this engine to our ears, which made an
incessant noise, like that of a water-mill: and we conjecture
it is either some unknown animal, or the God that he wor-
ships; but we are more inclined to the latter opinion, because
he assured us (if we understood him right, for he expressed
himself very imperfectly) that he seldom did anything without
consulting it. He called it his oracle, and said it pointed out
the time for every action of his life. From the left fob he
took out a net almost large enough for a fisherman, but
contrived to open and shut like a purse and which served
him for the same use; we found therein several massy pieces
of yellow metal, which if they be real gold, inust be of
immense value.
(6
Having thus in obedience to your majesty's commands
dilligently searched all his pockets, we observed a girdle
about his waste, made of the hide of some prodigious animal,
from which, on the left side, hung a sword of the length of five
men, and on the right a bag or pouch, divided into two cells,
each cell capable of holding three of your majesty's subjects
in one of these cells were several globes, or balls, of most pon-
derous metal, about the bigness of our heads, and required a
strong hand to lift them; the other cell contained a heap of
certain black grains, but of no great bulk or weight, for we
could hold above fifty of them in the palms of our hands.
"This is an exact inventory of what we found about the
body of the man-mountain, who used us with great civility
and due respect to your majesty's commission. Signed and
sealed on the fourth day of the eighty-ninth moon of year
majesty's auspicious reign:
Flessen Frelicks
Marsi Frolooth.
110
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
When this inventory was read over to the emperor, he
directed me, although in very gentle terms, to deliver up the
several particulars. He first called for my scimitar, which I
took out, scabbard and all. In the meantime he ordered
three thousand of his choicest troops (who then attended him)
to surround me at a distance, with their bows and arrows just
ready to discharge; but I did not observe it, for mine eyes
were wholly fixed on his majesty.† He then desired me
to draw my scimitar, which, although it had got some rust
by the sea-water, was, in most parts, exceedingly bright. I
did so, and immediately all the troops gave a shout between
terror and surprise; for the sun shone clear, and the reflection
dazzled their eyes, as I waved the scimitar to and fro in my
hand. His majesty who is a most magnanimous prince, was
less daunted than I could expect: he ordered me to return it
*The searches made by the whigs in the houses of persons suspected of Jacobitism
and Popery, are scarcely caricatured in this whimsical account of the examination
of Gulliver's pockets. Sir Walter Scot has given a similar description in his Peve-
ril of the Peak, where the emissaries of the House of Commons, puzzled by the ordi-
nary habits of life in the higher ranks, were disposed to find treason in a laced
waistcoat, and Popery in a hooped petticoat. Writing in Ireland, Swift was likely
to find an ample supply of searchers and alarmists, for the Cromwellian settlers,
deriving their titles to their estates from no better source than the English suspicion
and hatred of Popery, were anxious to keep alive such feelings; and catalogues of
suspicious articles, even more ludicrous than those in the text, may be found in
the records of Dublin Castle.
One of the objects of suspicion in those days, wearied out by constant requisitions
to surrender his fire arms, and by the repeated annoyances which he had expe-
rienced, sent his poker, tongs and shovel to the arsenal, and took a regular receipt
for them from the officer in command.
+ There is an exquisite humour in these formal preparations for security, which
escaped the notice of the persons they were intended to intimidate. The satire is
directed against the precautions taken by the whig ministers on receiving information
of real or pretended plots of the Jacobites, particularly in May, 1722, when "orders
were issued to all military officers to repair to their respective commands. General
Macartney was dispatched to Ireland, to bring over some troops into the west of
England. Messengers were sent to Scotland to secure some suspected persons; and
the states of Holland were directed to keep in readiness the guarantee troops, to
be sent to England in case of need."-Wade, 359. At the same time a proclama
tion was issued, commanding all Papists to depart from London and Westminster
and for confining Papists to their habitations.
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
111
into the scabbard, and cast it on the ground, as gently as I
could about six feet from the end of my chain. The next
he demanded was one of the hollow iron pillars by which he
meant my pocket pistols. I drew it out and at his desire, as
well as I could, expressed to him the use of it; and charging
it only with powder, which, by the closeness of my pouch
happened to escape wetting in the sea (an inconvenience
against which all prudent mariners take special care to pro-
vide), I first cautioned the emperor not to be afraid, and then
I let it off in the air. The astonishment here was much
greater than at sight of the scimitar. Hundreds fell down as
if they had been struck dead; and even the emperor,
although he stood his ground, could not recover himself for
some time.
I delivered up both my pistols in the same manner as I
had done my scimitar, and then my pouch of powder and
bullets; begging him that the former might be kept from
fire, for it would kindle with the smallest spark, and blow up
his imperial palace into the air. I likewise delivered up my
watch, which the emperor was very curious to see, and com-
manded two of his tallest yeomen of the guards to bear it on
a pole upon their shoulders, as draymen in England do a
barrel of ale. He was amazed at the continual noise it made,
and the motion of the minute-hand, which he could easily
discern, for their sight is much more acute than ours; he
asked the opinions of his learned men about it, which were
various and remote, as the reader may imagine without my
repeating: although, indeed, I could not very perfectly
understand them. I then gave up my silver and copper
money, my purse with nine large pieces of gold, and some
smaller ones; my knife and razer, iny comb and silver snuff-
box, my handkerchief and journal-Look. My scimitar, pistols,
and pouch, were conveyed in canlages to his majesty'
stores; but the rest of my goods were returned me.
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GULLIVER'S TRAVEL 8.
I had, as I before observed, one private pocket, which
escaped their search, wherein there was a pair of spectacles
(which I sometimes use for the weakness of mine eyes) a
pocket perspective, and some other little conveniences;
which, being of no consequence to the emperor, I did not
think myself bound in honour to discover, and I apprehended
they might be lost or spoiled, if I ventured them out of my
pussession.
A TOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
113
CHAPTER IIL
The author diverts the Emperor, and his nobility of both sexes, in a very uncommon
manner-The diversions of the court of Lilliput described-The author has his
liberty granted him upon certain conditions.
My gentleness and good behaviour had gained so far on
the emperor and his court, and indeed upon the army and
people in general, that I began to conceive hopes of getting
my liberty in a short time. I took all possible methods to
cultivate this favourable disposition. The natives came by
degrees to be less apprehensive of any danger from me. I
would sometimes lie down, and let five or six of them dance
on my hand; and at last the boys and girls would venture
to come and play at hide-and-seek in my hair. I had now
made a good progress in understanding and speaking the
language. The emperor had a mind one day to entertain me
with several of the country shows, wherein they exceeded all
nations I have known, both for dexterity and magnificence.
I was diverted with none so much as that of the rope-dancers.
performed upon a slender white thread, extended about two
feet, and twelve inches from the ground. Upon which I
shall desire liberty, with the reader's patience, to enlarge a
ittle.
This diversion is only practised by those persons who are
candidates for great employments and high favour at court.
They are trained in this art from their youth, and are not
always of noble birth, or liberal education. When a great
111
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
office is vacant, either by death or disgrace (which often
happens), five or six of those candidates petition the emperor
to entertain his majesty and the court with a dance on the
rope; and whoever jumps the highest without falling, suc-
ceeds in the office. Very often the chief ministers themselves
are commanded to show their skill, and to convince the
emperor that they have not lost their faculty. Flimnap, the
treasurer, is allowed to cut a paper on the straight rope, at
least an inch higher than any other lord in the whole empire.
I have seen himn do the summerset* several times together
upon a trencher fixed on a rope which is no thicker than a
common packthread in England. My friend Reldresal,
principal secretary for private affairs, is in my opinion, if I
* Summerset or summersault, a gambol of a tumbler, in which he springs up,
turns heels over head in the air, and comes down upon his feet.-Orig.
Flimnap is intended for Sir Robert Walpole, from whom Swift at first had
some expectations of promotion; when these were disappointed, the dean became
the bitter enemy of the minister, and his hatred was aggravated by the zeal with
which Walpole persecuted Swift's great favourites, Lord Bolingbroke and Dr.
Atterbury, bishop of Rochester. In an epistle to the poet Gay, the dean gives the
following bitter description of Walpole:
And first to make my observation right,
I place a statesman full before my sight,
A bloated minister in all his geer,
With shameless visage and perfidious leer;
Two rows of teeth arm each devouring jaw,
And ostrich-like, his all-digesting maw.
My fancy drags this monster to my view,
To show the world his chief reverse in you.
Of loud unmeaning sounds a rapid flood
Rolls from his mouth in plenteous streams of mud;
With these, the court and senate-house he plies
Made up of noise, and impudence, and lies.
And again, alluding to Walpole's continuance in office under George II., and Sir
Spencer Jompton's refusal to form an administration.
A
I knew a brazen minister of state,
Who bore for twice ten years the public hate;
In every mouth, the question most in vogue
Was, "when will they turn out this odious rogue 1”
A juncture happen'd, in his highest pride:
While he went robbing on, old master died
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
115
am not partial, the second after the treasurer* the rest of
the great officers are much upon a par.
These diversions are often attended with fatal accidents,
whereof great numbers are on record. I myself have seen two
or three candidates break a limb. But the danger is much
greater when the ministers themselves are commanded to show
their dexterity! for by contending to excel themselves and
their fellows, they strain so far that there is hardly one of
them who has not received a fall, and some of them two or
three. I was assured that, a year or two before my arrival,
Flimnap would infallibly have broke his neck, if one of the
king's cushions, that accidently lay on the ground, had not
weakened the force of his fall.t
There is likewise another diversion, which is only shown.
before the emperor and empress, and the first minister, upon
particular occasions. The emperor lays on the table three
fine silken threads of six inches long; one is blue, the other
red, and the third green.
These threads are proposed as
We thought there now remained no room to doubt;
His work is done, the minister must out.
The court invited more than one or two;
Will you, Sir Spencer? or will you? or you?
But not a soul his office durst accept;
The subtle knave had all the plunder swept;
And such was then the temper of the times;
He owed his preservation to his crimes.
The candidates observed his dirty paws,
Nor found it difficult to guess the cause;
But when they smelt such foul corruptions round him,
Away they fled, and left him as they found him.
* Mr. Secretary Stanhope was most probably intended by Reldresal; he sup
planted Walpole in 1717, and adopted a more temperate and conciliatory course
towards the Tories and Jacobites, with whom Swift was connected.
Walpole was compelled to resign his office in 1717, through the intrigues of Lord
Sunderland and Mr. Secretary Stanhope, who, following the king to Hanover,
sought and found a favourable opportunity of supplanting Walpole an 1 Townshend
in the royal favour. After an exclusion of four years, which semed politically "to
have broken ais neck," he was restored by his interest with the Duchess of Kendal,
the favourite mistress of George I.; and this was "the king's cushion that lay acci.
Lentally on the ground, and weakened the force of the fall.
116
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
prizes for those persons whom the emperor has a mind to dis-
tinguish by a peculiar mark of his favour. The ceremony is
performed in his majesty's great chamber of state, where the
candidates are to undergo a trial of dexterity, very different
from the former, and such as I have not observed the least
resemblance of in any country of the new or old world. The
emperor holds a stick in his hands, both ends parallel to the
horizon, while the candidates advancing, one by one, some-
times leap over the stick, sometimes creep under it, backward
and forward, several times, according as the stick is advanced
or depressed. Sometimes the emperor holds one end of the
stick, and the first minister the other; sometimes the minister
has it entirely to himself. Whoever performs his part with.
the most agility, and holds out the longest in leaping and
creeping, is rewarded with the blue coloured silk; the red is
given to the next, and the green to the third, which they all
wear girt twice around about the middle; and you see few
great persons about this court who are not adorned with one
of these girdles.*
The horses of the army, and those of the royal stables, having
been daily led before me, were no longer shy, but would come
up to my very feet without starting. The riders would leap
them over my hand, as I held it on the ground; and one of
the emperor's huntsmen, upon a large courser, took my foot,
shoe and all, which was indeed a prodigious leap. I had the
good fortune to divert the emperor one day after a very extra-
ordinary manner. I desired he would order several sticks of
two feet high, and the thickness of an ordinary cane, to be
brought me; whereupon his majesty commanded the master
The revival of the Order of the Bath by Sir Robert Walpole in 1726, as a cheap
means of gratifying his political adherents, was fair game to a satirist like Swift.
Walpole was distinguished not only by the Order of the Bath, but by that of the
Garter, which was conferred on him in 1726.—Coxe's Life of Walpole.
It is scarcely necessary to mention, that blue is the cognizance of the Garter
red of the Bath, and green of the Thistle.
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
117
of his woods to give directions accordingly; and the next
morning six woodmen arrived, with as many carriages, drawn
by eight horses to each. I took nine of these sticks, and fix-
ing them firmly in the ground in a quadrangular figure, two
feet and a half square, I took four other sticks and tied them
parallel at each corner, about two feet from the ground, then
I fastened my handkerchief to the nine sticks that stood erect;
and extended it on all sides, till it was tight as the top of a
drum; and the four parallel sticks, rising about five inches.
higher than the handkerchief, served as ledges on each side.
When I had finished my work, I desired the emperor to let a
troop of the best horse, twenty-four in number, come and
exercise upon this plain. His majesty approved of the pro-
posal, and I took them up, one by one, in my hands ready
mounted and armed, with the proper officer to exercise them.
As soon as they got into order, they divided into two parties,
performed mock skirmishes, discharged blunt arrows, drew
their swords, fled and pursued, attacked and retired, and in
short, discovered the best military discipline I ever beheld.
The parallel sticks secured them and their horses from falling
over the stage; and the emperor was so much delighted, that
he ordered this entertainment to be repeated several days, and
once was pleased to be lifted up, and give the word of com-
mand: and, with great difficulty, persuaded even the empress
erself to let me hold her in her close chair within two yards
f the stage, when she was able to take a full view of the
whole performance. It was my good fortune, that no ill acci-
dent happened in these entertainments; only once a fiery
horse, that belonged to one of the captains, pawing with his
hoof, struck a hole in my handkerchief, and his foot slipping,
he overthrew his rider and himself; but I immediately relieved
them both, and covering the hole with one hand, I set down
the troop with the other, in the same manner as I took them
up. The horse that fell was strained in the left shoulder but
118
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
the rider got no hurt; and I repaired my handkerchief as well
as I could; however, I would not trust to the strength of it
any more, in such dangerous enterprises.
About two or three days before I was set at liberty, as I
was entertaining the court with this kind of feats, there
arrived an express to inform his majesty that some of his sub-
jects, riding near the place where I was first taken up, had
seen a great black substance lying on the ground, very oddly
shaped, extending its edges round, as wide as his majesty's
bed-chamber, and rising up in the middle as high as a man;
that it was no living creature, as they at first apprehended, for
lay on the grass without motion, and some of them had
walked round it several times; that, by mounting upon each
other's shoulders, they had got to the top, which was flat and
even, and stamping upon it, they found that it was hollow
within; that they humbly conceived it might be something
belonging to the man-mountain; and if his majesty pleased,
they would undertake to bring it with only five horses. I pres-
ently knew what they meant, and was glad at heart to
receive this intelligence. It seems, upon my first reaching
the shore after our shipwreck, I was in such confusion, that
before I came to the place where I went to sleep, my hat,
which I had fastened with a string to my head while I was
rowing, and had stuck on all the time I was swimming, fell off
after I came to land; the string, as I conjecture, breaking by
some accident, which I never observed, but thought my hat
had been lost at sea. I entreated his imperial majesty to give
orders that it might be brought to me as soon as possible,
describing to him the use and nature of it; and the next day
the wagoners arrived with it, but not in a very good con-
dition; they had bored two holes in the brim, within an inch
and a half of the edge, and fastened two hooks in the holes;
these books were tied by a long cord to the harness, and thus
my hat was dragged along for above half an English mile
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
119
but the ground in that country being extremely smooth and
level, it received less damage than I expected.
Two days after this adventure, the emperor, having ordered
that part of his army which quarters in and about his metro-
polis, to be in readiness, took a fancy of diverting himself in
a very singular manner. He desired I would stand like a
colossus, with my legs as far asunder as I conveniently could.
He then commanded his general (who was an old experienced
leader, and a great patron of mine) to draw up the troops in
close order, and march them under me; the foot by twenty-
four abreast, and the horse by sixteen, with drums beating,
colours flying, and pikes advanced. This body consisted of
three thousand foot, and a thousand horse. His majesty gave
orders, upon pain of death, that every soldier in his march
should observe the strictest decency with regard to my person;
which, however, could not prevent some of the younger offi-
cers from turning up their eyes, as they passed under me;
and, to confess the truth, my breeches were at that time in so
ill a condition, that they afforded some opportunities for
laughter and admiration.*
I had sent so many memorials and petitions for my liberty
that his majesty at length mentioned the matter, first in the
cabinet, and then in a full council; where it was opposed by
none, except Skyresh Bolgolam, who was pleased, without
any provocation, to be my mortal enemy. But it was carried
against him by the whole board, and confirmed by the
emperor. That minister was galbet, or admiral of the realm,
*The author probably intends to ridicule the partiality of George I. for reviews
and military pageantry. Hogarth's celebrated picture of the "March of the Guards
to Finchly," belongs to a much later period, but its satiric touches would probably
have been as applicable in the reign of the first as of the second George.
Skyresh Bolgolam is most probably the Duke of Argyle, who was greatly
jucensed at Swift's attacks on the Scottish nation, in his "Public Spirit of the
Whigs." In an unfinished poem on himself, the Dean alludes to the proclamation
offering three hundred pounds for the discovery of the author of this pamphlet,
which was issued at the demand rather than the request of the Duke of Argyle he
120
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
very much in his master's confidence, and a person well versed
in affairs, but of a morose and sour complexion. However,
he was at length persuaded to comply; but prevailed that
the articles and conditions upon which I should be set free,
and to which I must swear, should be drawn up by himself.
These articles were brought to me by Skyresh Bolgolam in
person, attended by two under-secretaries and several persons
of distinction. After they were read, I was demanded to
swear to the performance of them; first, in the manner of my
own country, and afterwards in the method prescribed by
their laws; which was, to hold my right foot in my left
hand, and to place the middle finger of my right hand on the
crown of my head, and my thumb on the tip of my right ear.
But, because the reader may be curious to have some idea of
the style and manner of expression peculiar to that people, as
well as to know the articles upon which I recovered my
liberty, I have made a translation of the whole instrument,
word for word as near as I was able, which I here offer to
the public.*
GOLBASTO MOMAREM EVLAME GURDILO SHEFIN MULLY
ULLY GUE, most mighty emperor of Lilliput, delight and
conducted all the Scottish lords in a body to demand an audience of the queen, and
seek reparation.
The queen incensed, his services forgot,
Leaves him a victim to the vengeful Scot;
Now through the realm a proclamation spread,
To fix a price on his devoted head,
While, innocent, he scorns ignoble flight;
His watchful friends preserve him by a sleight.
See also the character given of Argyle in Swift's notes on Macky-Appendix to
Liliput I.
* In his description of Lilliput, in the following Articles, Gulliver seems to have
had England more immediately in view. In his description of Blefuscu, he seems
to intend the people and kingdom of France.-Orrery.
It is perhaps in order to qualify this parallel that Swift has changed the relative
description of the two countries and made Lilliput the continent, Blefuscu the
luland.--Sir Walter Soɔtt
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
121
terror of the universe, whose dominions extend five thousand
blustrugs (about twelve miles in circumference) to the extre-
mities of the globe; monarch of all monarchs, taller than the
sons of men; whose feet press down to the centre, and whose
head strikes against the sun; at whose nod the princes of the
earth shake their knees; pleasant as the spring, comfortable
as the summer, fruitful as autumn, dreadful as winter. His
most sublime Majesty proposes to the Man-mountain, lately
arrived at our celestial dominions, the following articles
which, by a solemn oath, he shall be obliged to perform:
I. The Man-mountain shall not depart from our dominions,
without our license under our great seal.
II. He shall not presume to come into our metropolis
without our express order; at which time the inhabitants
shall have two hours' warning to keep within doors.
III. The said Man-mountain shall confine his walks to our
principal high roads, and not offer to walk or lie down in a
meadow or field of corn.
IV. As he walks the said roads, he shall take the utmost
are not to trample upon the bodies of any of our loving
subjects, their horses or carriages, nor take any of our sub-
jects into his hands without their own consent.
V. If an express requires extraordinary dispatch, the Man-
mountain shall be obliged to carry, in his pocket, the mes-
senger and horse a six day's journey once in every moon, and
return the said messenger back (if so required) safe to our
imperial presence.
VI. He shall be our ally against our enemies in the island
of Blefuscu, and do his utmost to destroy their fleet, which is
now preparing to invade us.
VII. That the said Mau-mountain shall, at his time of
leisure, be aiding and assisting to our workmen, in helping to
6
122
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
•
raise certain great stones, towards covering the wall of the
principal park, and other our royal buildings.
VIII. That the said Man-mountain shall in two moons'
time, deliver in an exact survey of the circumference of our
dominions, by a computation of his own paces round the
coast.
Lastly, That, upon his solemn oath to observe all the
above articles, the said Man-mountain shall have a daily
allowance of meat and drink sufficient for the support of
1724 of our subjects, with free access to our royal person,
and other marks of our favour. Given at our palace at
Belfaborac, the twelth day of the ninety-first moon of our
reign.
I swore and subscribed to these articles with great cheer-
fulness and content, although some of them were not so
honourable as I could have wished; which proceeded wholly
from the malice of Skyresh Bolgolam, the high-admiral;
whereupon my chains were immediately unlocked, and I was
at full liberty. The emperor himself, in person, did me the
honour to be by at the whole ceremony. I made my ac-
knowledgments by prostrating myself at his majesty's feet:
but he commanded me to rise; and after many gracious
expressions, which to avoid the censure of vanity I shall not
repeat, he added "that he hoped I should prove a useful
servant, and well deserve all the favours he had already con-
ferred upon me, or might do for the future."
The reader may please to observe, that in the last article
of the recovery of my liberty, the emperor stipulates to allow
me a quantity of meat and drink sufficient for the support of
1724 Lilliputians. Some time after, asking a friend at court
how they came to fix on that determined number, he told me
that his majesty's mathematicians, having taken the height
of my body by the help of a quadrant, and finding it to
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
123
exceed theirs in the proportion of twelve to one, they con-
cluded from the similarity of their bodies, that mine must.
contain at least 1724 of theirs, and consequently would require
as much food as was necessary to support that number of
Lilliputians. By which the reader may conceive an idea of
the ingenuity of that people, as well as the prudent and exact
economy of so great a prince.
124
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
CHAPTER IV.
Mildendo, the metropolis of Lilliput, described, together with the emperor's palacs
-A conversation between the author and a principal secretary, concerning the
affairs of that empire-The author offers to serve the emperor in lus wars.
LIBERTY having been granted me, my first request was
for permission to see Mildendo, the metropolis: which the
emperor readily allowed me, but with a special charge to do
no hurt either to the inhabitants or their houses. The people
had notice, by proclamation, of my design to visit the town.
The wall, which encompassed it, is two feet and a half high,
and at least eleven inches broad, so that a coach and horses
may be driven very safely round it; and it is flanked with
strong towers at ten feet distance. I stepped over the great
western gate, and passed very gently and sidelong through
the two principal streets only in my short waistcoat, for fear
of damaging the roofs and eaves of the houses with the
skirts of my coat. I walked with the utmost circumspection,
to avoid treading on the stragglers who might remain in the
streets; although the orders were very strict, that all people
should keep in their houses at their own peril. The garret
windows and tops of houses were so crowded with spectators,
that I thought in all my travels I had not seen a more popu-
lous place. The city is an exact square, each side of the wall
being five hundred feet long. The two great streets, which
run across and divide it into four quarters, are five feet wide.
The lanes and alleys, which I could not enter, but only viewed
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
125
hem as I passed, are from twelve to eighteen inches. The
town is capable of holding five hundred thousand souls: the
houses are from three to five stories: the shops and markets
well provided.
The emperor's palace is in the centre of the city, where the
two great streets meet. It is enclosed by a wall of two feet
high, and twenty feet distance from the buildings. I had his
majesty's permission to step over this wall; and the space
being so wide between that and the palace, I could easily
view it on every side. The outward court is a square of forty
feet, and includes two other courts: in the inmost are the
royal apartments, which I was very desirous to see, but found
it extremely difficult; for the great gates, from one square
into another, were but eighteen inches high, and seven inches
wide. Now the buildings of the outer court were at least
five feet high, and it was impossible for me to stride over
them without infinite damage to the pile, though the walls
were strongly built of hewn stone, and four inches thick. At
the same time the emperor had a great desire that I should
see the magnificence of his palace; but this I was not able to
de till three days after, which I spent in cutting down with
my knife some of the largest trees in the royal park, about a
hundred yards' distance from the city. Of these trees I made
two stools, each about three feet high, and strong enough to
bear my weight. The people having received notice a second
time, I went again through the city to the palace with my
two stools in my hands. When I came to the side of the
cuter court, I stood upon one stool, and took the other in my
hand; this I lifted over the roof, and gently set it down on
the space between the first and second court, which was eight
feet wide. I then stepped over the building very conveniently
from one stool to the other, and drew up the first after me
with a hooked stick. By this contrivance I got intc the
inmost court; and, lying down upon my side, I applied my
126
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
face to the windows of the middle stories, which were left
open on purpose, and discovered the most splendid apartments
that can be imagined.
There I saw the empress and the young princes, in their
several lodgings, with their chief attendants about them. Her
imperial majesty was pleased to smile very graciously upon
me, and gave me out of the window her hand to kiss.
***
But I shall not anticipate the reader with further descrip
tions of this kind, because I reserve them for a greater work,
which is now almost ready for the press; containing a general
description of the empire, from its first erection, through a
long series of princes; with a particular account of their wars
and politics, laws, learning and religion; their plants and
animals; their peculiar manners and customs, with other
matters very curious and useful; my chief design at present
being only to relate such events and transactions as happened
to the public or to myself during a residence of about nine
months in that empire.
One morning, about a fortnight after I had obtained my
liberty, Reldresal, principal secretary (as they style him) for
private affairs, came to my house attended only by one servant.
He ordered his coach to wait at a distance, and desired I
would give him an hour's audience; which I readily consented
to, on account of his quality and personal merits, as well as
of the many good offices he had done me during my solici-
tations at court. I offered to lie down that he might the more
conveniently reach my ear, but he chose ratner to let me
hold him in my hand during our conversation. He began
with compliments on my liberty; said "he might pretend to
some merit in it;" but however added, "that if it had not
been for the present situation of things at court, perhaps !
might not have obtained it so soon. For," said he,
as flour.
(6
The character of the empress is manifestly taken from that of Queer Anne-
good-natured, but easily duped.
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
127
ashing condition as we may appear to be in to foreigners, we
labour under two mighty evils; a violent faction at home, and
the danger of an invasion, by a most potent enemy, from
abroad. As to the first, you are to understand, that for above
seventy moons past there have been two struggling parties in
this empire, under the names of Tramecksan and Slamecksan,*
from the high and low heels of their shoes, by which they
distinguish themselves. It is alleged, indeed, that the high-
heels are most agreeable to our ancient constitution; but,
however this be, his majesty has determined to make use only
of low-heels in the administration of the government, and all
offices in the gift of the crown, as you cannot but observe:
and particularly that his majesty's imperial heels are lower at
least by a drurr than any of his court-(drurr is a measure
about the fourteenth part of an inch). The animosities be-
tween these two parties run so high, that they will neither
eat nor drink nor talk with each other. We compute the
Tramecksan, or high-heels, to exceed us in number; but the
power is wholly on our side. We apprehend his imperial
highnes, the heir to the crown, to have some tendency
towards the high heels; at least, we can plainly discover that
one of his heels is higher than the other, which gives him a
hobble in his gait. Now, in the midst of these intestine dis-
* High-church and Low-church, and Whig or Tory. As every accidental difference
between man and man in person and circumstances is by this work rendered ex-
tremely contemptible; ac speculative differences are shown to be equally ridiculous,
when the zeal with which they are opposed and defended too much exceeds their
importance.-Hawksworth.
+ George, Prince of Wales, afterwards George II., was at this time vehement in
his hostility to his father's ministers; like all heirs-apparent since the accession of
the house of Brunswick, he chose his political friends among the parties most
opposed to the court, calling round him both the discontented whigs and the dis-
pleased tories. We learn from a letter of Mrs. Howard, that the prince was greatly
amused at this description of his hobbling between the two political parties. On
his accession to the throne, which took place shortly after the publication of Gulli-
ver, he was easily induced by Queen Caroline to continue Sir Robert Walpole at the
head of affairs; an unexpected change, which greatly disappointed Swift and his
friends
128
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
quiets, we are threatened with an invasion from the island of
Blefuscu, which is the other great empire of the universe,
almost as large and powerful as this of his majesty. For as
to what we have heard you affirm, that there are other king-
doms and states in the world inhabited by human creatures
as large as yourself, our philosophers are in much doubt, and
would rather conjecture that you dropped from the moon, or
one of the stars; because it is certain that a hundred mortals
of
your bulk would in a short time destroy all the fruits and
cattle of his majesty's dominions: besides, our histories of six
thousand moons make no mention of any other regions than
the two great empires of Lilliput and Blefuscu. Which two
mighty powers have, as I was going to tell you, been engaged
in a most obstinate war for six-and-thirty moons past. It
began upon the following occasion: it is allowed on all hands
that the primitive way of breaking eggs before we eat them,
was upon the larger end; but his present majesty's grand-
father, while he was a boy, going to eat an egg, and breaking
it according to the ancient practice, happened to cut one of
his fingers; whereupon the emperor, his father, published an
edict, commanding all his subjects, under great penalties, to
break the smaller end of their eggs.* The people so highly
resented this law, that our histories tell us, there have been
six rebellions raised on that account; wherein one emperor
lost his life, and another his crown. These civil com-
motions were constantly fomented by the monarchs of Ble-
fuscu; and when they were quelled, the exiles always fled for
refuge to that empire. It is computed that eleven thousand
persons have at several times suffered death, rather than
submit to break their eggs at the smaller end. Many hundred
'
*The controversy respecting the sacraments between the Romish and Anglicau
churches is humourously portrayed in the dispute about the proper end of breaking
the egg. The emperor who cut is fingers is manifestly Henry VIII., who was so
sadly perplexed by the sacrament of marriage, and the difficulty of divorce.
‡ James I.
+ Charles L
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT
129
large volumes have been published upon this controversy:
but the books of the Big-endians have been long forbidden,
and the whole party rendered incapable by law of holding
employments. During the course of these troubles, the
emperors of Blefuscu did frequently expostulate by their
ambassadors, accusing us of making a schism in religion by
offending against a fundamental doctrine of our great prophet
Lustrog, in the fifty-fourth chapter of the Blundecral, which
is their Alcoran. This, however, is thought to be a mere
strain upon the text; for the words are these: that all true
believers break their eggs at the convenient end; and which
is the convenient end seems, in my humble opinion, to be left
to every man's conscience, or at least in the power of the
chief magistrate to determine.*
*
"Now the Big-endian exiles have found so much credit in
the emperor of Blefuscu's court, and so much private assis-
tance and encouragement from their party here at home, that
a bloody war has been carried on between the two empires
for six and-thirty moons, with various success; during which
time we have lost forty capital ships, and a much greater
number of smaller vessels, together with thirty thousand of
our best seamen and soldiers; and the damage received by
the enemy is reckoned to be somewhat greater than ours.f
However, they have now equipped a numerous fleet, and are
*Swift appears to intimate that the great point at issue between the Romish
and English churches, the sacrament of the eucharist, has been decided too posi-
tively by the theologiaus on both sides; he intimates that the question of transub-
stantiation should be left open to the faith of the receiver, in accordance with the
memorable lines of Queen Elizabeth.
Christ was the word that spake it
He took the bread, and brake it,
And what that word did make it.
That I believe and take it.
This description of the Big-endian war is designe for the wars of the revolution,
which were terminated by the peace of Utrecht, and the enumeration of the losses
and slaughter occasioned by the war is intended to vindicate Harley and Rolins
broke for bringing it to a conclusion
6*
130
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
L
...
ust preparing to make a descent upon us; and his imperial
majesty, placing great confidence in your valour and strength,
has commanded me to lay this account of his affairs before
you,"
I desired the secretary to present my humble duty to the
emperor; and let him know, "that I thought it would not
become me, who was a foreigner, to interfere with parties;
but I was ready, with the hazard of my life, to defend his
person and state against all invaders."*
*Gulliver, without examining the subject of dispute, readily engaged to defend
the emperor against invasion; because he knew that no such monarch had a right
to made the dominions of another, for the propagation of truth.-Пarcksworth.
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
131
CHAPTER V.
The author, by an extraordinary stratagem, prevents an invasion-A high title of
honour is conferred upon him-Ambassadors arrive from the Emperor of Blefuscu,
and sue for peace-The Empress's apartments on fire by accident; the author
instrumental in saving the rest of the palace.
LILLIPUT is part of the continent, but the empire of
Blefuscu is an island situated to the north-east of the main-
land, from which it is parted only by a channel of eight
hundred yards wide. I had not yet seen it, and upon this
notice of an intended invasion, I avoided appearing on that
side of the coast, for fear of being discovered by some of the
enemy's ships, who had received no intelligence of me; all
intercourse between the two empires having been strictly for-
bidden during the war upon pain of death, and an embargo
laid by our emperor upon all vessels whatsoever. I commu-
nicated to his majestic a project I had formed of seizing the
enemy's whole fleet; which, as our scouts assured us, lay at
anchor in the harbour, ready to sail with the first fair wind.
I consulted the most experienced seamen upon the depth of
the channel, which they had often plumbed; who told me,
that in the middle, at high water, it was seventy glumgluffs
deep, which is about six feet of European measure; and the
rest of it fifty glumgluffs at most. I walked towards the
north-east coast, over against Blefuscu; where, lying down
behind a hillock, I took out my small perspective glass and
viewed the enemy's fleet at anchor, consisting of about fifty
men-of-war, and a great number of transports: I then came
w
132
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
back to my house, and gave orders (for which I had a war-
rant,) for a great quantity of the strongest cable and bars of
iron. The cable was about as thick as packthread, and the
bars of a length and size of a knitting-needle. I trebled the
cable to make it stronger, and for the same reason, I twisted
three of the iron bars together, bending the extremities into a
hook. Having thus fixed fifty hooks to as many cables, I
went back to the north-east coast, and putting off my coat,
shoes and stockings, walked into the sea in my leathern jerkin,
about half an hour before high water. I waded with what
haste I could, and swam in the middle about thirty yards, till
I felt ground. I arrived at the fleet in less than half an hour.
The enemy was so frightened when they saw me, that they
leaped out of their ships, and swam to shore, where there
could not be fewer than thirty thousand souls: I then took
my tackling, and fastening a hook to the hole at the prow of
each, I tied all the cords together at the end. While I was
thus employed, the enemy discharged several thousand arrows,
many of which stuck in my hands and face; and, besides the
excessive smart, gave me much disturbance in my work. My
greatest apprehension was for mine eyes, which I should have
infallibly lost, if I had not suddenly thought of an expedient.
I kept, among other little necessaries, a pair of spectacles in
a private pocket, which, as I observed before, had escaped the
emperor's searchers. These I took out and fastened as
strongly as I could upon my nose, and thus armed, went on
boldly with my work, in spite of the enemy's arrows, many
of which struck against the glasses of my spectacles, but
without any other effect, farther than a little to discompose
them. I had now fastened all the hooks, and taking the
knot in my hand, began to pull; but not a ship would stir,
for they were all too fast held by their anchors, so that the
boldest part of my enterprise remained. I therefore let go
the cord, and leaving the hooks fixed to the ships, I resolutely
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
133
cut with my knife the cables that fastened the anchors, receiv-
ing about two hundred arrows in my face and hands; then I
took up the knotted end of the cables, to which my hooks
were tied, and with great ease drew fifty of the enemy's
largest men-of-war after me.
The Blefuscudians, who had not the least imagination of
what I intended, were at first confounded with astonishment.
They had seen me cut the cables, and thought my design was
only to let the ships run adrift, or fall foul on each other; but
when they perceived the whole fleet moving in order, and saw
me pulling at the end, they set up such a scream of grief and
despair as it is almost impossible to describe or conceive.*
When I had got out of danger, I stopped awhile to pick out
the arrows that stuck in my hands and face; and rubbed on
some of the same ointment that was given me on my first
arrival, as I have formerly mentioned. I then took off my
spectacles, and waiting about an honr till the tide was a little
fallen, I waded through the middle with my cargo, and
arrived safe at the royal port of Lilliput.
The emperor and his whole court stood on the shore,
expecting the issue of this great adventure. They saw the
ships move forward in a large half-moon, but could not dis-
cern me, who was up to my breast in water. When I
advanced to the middle of the channel, they were yet more in
pain, because I was under water to my neck. The emperor
concluded me to be drowned, and that the enemy's fleet was
approaching in a hostile manner; but he was soon eased of
his fears; for the channel growing shallower every step I
made, I came in a short time within hearing, and holding up the
end of the cable, by which the fleet was fastened, I cried, in
*The capture of the Blefuscadian fleet is intended to represent the efforts made
by the tory ministry to secure the naval supremacy of England in the negotiations
at Utrecht, and particularly their success in procuring the demolition of Dunkirk
and the ression of several French colonies.
134
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
a loud voice, "Long live the most puissant king of Lilliput !"
This great prince received me at my landing with all possible
encomiums, and created me a nardac upon the spot, which is
the highest title of honour among them.*
His majesty desired I would take some other opportunity
of bringing all the rest of his enemy's ships into his ports.
And so unmeasurable is the ambition of princes, that he
seemed to think of nothing less than reducing the whole
empire of Blefuscu into a province, and governing it by a
viceroy; of destroying the Big-endian exiles, and compelling
that people to break the smaller end of their eggs, by which
he would remain the sole monarch of the whole world. But
I endeavoured to divert him from this design, by many argu-
ments drawn from the topics of policy as well as justice; and
*The treaty at Utrecht was at first very popular with the English people; and it was
regarded by Queen Anne as a blessing to England and to Europe. The promised
demolition of Dunkirk, and its surrender as a guarantee to General Hill, were
regarded not only by the court, but by the nation, as an advantage scarcely infe-
rior to what the capture of the Blefuscudian fleet would have been to the emperor
of Lilliput. Swift wrote a song on the event, which was very popular. The follow
ing are the concluding stanzas:--
Our merchant ships may cut the line,
And not be snapt by privateers;
And commoners who love good wine,
Will drink it now as well as peers;
Landed men shall have their rent,
Yet our stocks rise cent. per cent.;
The Dutch from hence shall no more millions drain:
We'll bring on us no more debts,
Nor with bankrupts fill gazettes;
And the queen shall enjoy her own again.
The towns we took ne'er did us good:
What signified the French to beat?
We spent our money and our blood
To make the Dutchmen proud and great:
But the lord of Oxford swears
Dunkirk never shall be theirs;
The Dutch-hearted whigs may rail and complain;
But true Englishmen may fill
A health to General Hill,
For the queen now enjoys her own again.
•
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
135
I plainly protested, "that I would never be an instrument of
bringing a free and brave people into slavery ;" and when the
matter was debated in council, the wisest part of the ministry
were of my opinion.*
This open, bold declaration of mine, was so opposite to the
schemes and politics of his imperial majesty, that he could
never forgive me. He mentioned it in a very artful manner
at council, where I was told that some of the wisest appeared
at least, by their silence, to be of my opinion; but others.
who were my secret enemies, could not forbear some expres-
sions which by a side wind reflected on me; and from this
time began an intrigue between his majesty, and a junto of
ministers, maliciously bent against me, which broke out in
less than two months, and had like to have ended in my utter
destruction. Of so little weight are the greatest services to
princes, when put into the balance with a refusal to gratify
their passions.
About three weeks after this exploit, there arrived a solenn
embassy from Blefuscu, with humble offers of a peace; which
was soon concluded, upon conditions very advantageous to
our emperor, wherewith I shall not trouble the reader. There
were six ambassadors with a train of about five hundred per-
sons: and their entry was very magnificent, suitable to the
grandeur of their master, and the importance of their business.
When their treaty was finished, wherein I did them several
good offices by the credit I now had, or at least appeared to
have, at court, their excellencies, who were privately told how
• The conquest of France was seriously believed feasible by many friends of the
Duke of Marlborough; but when the siege of such a petty fortress as Bouchain oc-
cupied the greater part of one campaign, the best English statesmen saw there was
little chance of such a consummation. Mesnager, if the memoirs published in his
name be not a forgery, declares that the tories used to annoy the whigs by asking
"How long will it take to conquer France at the rate of a Bouchain per summer ?"
In the debates on the treaty of Utrecht (A. D. 1713), the advocates for peace had
decidedly the best of the argument, so that Gulliver is justified in saying that
"the wises. were of his opinion."
136
GULLIVER S TRAVELS.
much I had been their friend, made me a visit in form
They began with many compliments upon my valour and
generosity, invited me to that kingdom in the emperor their
master's name, and desired me to show them some proofs of
my prodigious strength, of which they had heard so many
wonders; wherein I readily obliged them, but shall not
trouble the reader with the particulars.
When I had for some time entertained their excellencies,
to their infinite satisfaction and surprise, I desired they would
do me the honour to present my most humble respects to the
emperor their master, the renown of whose virtues had so
justly filled the whole world with admiration, and whose
royal person I resolved to attend before I returned to my own
country. Accordingly, the next time I had the honour to
see our emperor, I desired his general license to wait on the
Blefuscudian monarch, which he was pleased to graut me, as
I could perceive, in a very cold manner; but could not guess
the reason, till I had a whisper from a certain person,
"that
Flimnap and Bolgolam had represented my intercourse with
those ambassadors as a mark of disaffection;" from which
I am sure my heart was wholly free. And this was the first
time I began to conceive some imperfect idea of courts and
ministers.*
It is to be observed, that these ambassadors spoke to me by
an interpreter, the languages of both empires differing as much
from each other as any two in Europe, and each nation
priding itself upon the antiquity, beauty, and energy of their
own tongue, with an avowed contempt for that of their
*The charge raised against Gulliver for his innocent intercourse with the ambas-
sadors from Blefuscu alludes to the chief accusation brought against Bolingbroke
(A. D. 1715), which was his treasonable intimacy with the French ministers during
the negotiations of the peace at Utrecht. Bolingbroke's journey to France to nego.
tiate a separate peace, and his clandestine intercourse with the agents of Louis,
were, however, of such a suspicious nature, that he did not think it prudent to wait
for his trial.
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
137
neighbour: yet our emperor, standing upon the advantage
he had got by the seizure of their fleet, obliged them to
deliver their credentials, and make their speech, in the Lilli-
putian tongue. And it must be confessed, that from the great
intercourse of trade and commerce between both realms, from
the continual reception of exiles which is mutual among them,
and from the custom, in each empire, to send their young
nobility and richer gentry to the other, in order to polish
themselves by seeing the world, and understanding men and
manners; there are few persons of distinction, or merchants,
or seamen, who dwell in the maritime parts, but what can
hold conversation in both tongues; as I found some weeks
after, when I went to pay my respects to the emperor of Ble-
fuscu, which, in the midst of great misfortunes, through the
malice of my enemies, proved a very happy adventure to me,
as I shall relate in its proper place.
The reader may remember, that when I signed those
articles upon which I recovered my liberty, there were some
which I disliked, upon account of their being too servile;
neither could any thing but an extreme necessity have forced
me to submit. But being now a nardac of the highest rank
in that empire, such offices were looked upon as below my dig-
nity, and the emperor (to do him justice) never once mentioned
them to me. However, it was not long before I had an
opportunity of doing his majesty, at least as I then thought,
a most signal service. I was alarmed at midnight with the
cries of many hundred people at my door; by which, being
suddenly awaked, I was in some kind of terror. I heard the
word burglum repeated incessantly several of the emperor's
court making their way through the crowd, entreated me to
come immediately to the palace where her imperial majesty's
apartment was on fire, by the carelessness of a maid of honour,
who fell asleep while she was reading a romance.
I got up
in an instant; and orders being given to clear the way before
133
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
7
me, and it being likewise a moonshine night, I male a shift
to get to the palace without trampling on any of the people.
I found they had already applied ladders to tle walls of the
apartment, and were well provided with buckets, but the water
was at some distance. These buckets were about the size of a
large thimble, and the poor people supplied me with them as
fast as they could; but the flame was so violent that they did
little good. I might easily have stifled it with my coat, which
I unfortunately left behind me for haste, and came away only
in my leathern jerkin. The case seemed wholly desperate and
deplorable; and this magnificent palace would have infallibly
been burnt down to the ground, if, by a presence of mind
unusual to me, I had not suddenly thought of an expedient.
I had the evening before drunk plentifully of a most delicious
wine called glimigrim (the Blefuscudians call it flunec), but
ours is esteemed the better sort, which is very diuretic. By
the luckiest chance in the world, I had not discharged myself
of any part of it. The heat I had contracted by coming
very near the flames, and by labouring to quench them, made
the wine begin to operate by urine which I voided in such a
quantity, and applied so well to the proper places, that in
three minutes the fire was wholly extinguished, and the rest
of that noble pile, which had cost so many ages in erecting,
preserved from destruction.
It was now daylight, and I had returned to my house
without waiting to congratulate the emperor; because
although I had done a very eminent piece of service, yet I
could not tell how his majesty might resent the manner by
which I had performed it: for by the fundamental laws of the
realm, it is capital in any person, of what quality soever,
to make water within the precincts of the palace. But I was
a little comforted by a message from his majesty, "that he
would give orders to the grand justiciary for passing my
pardon in form;" which however, I could not obtain; and I
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
139
was privately assured, that the empress, conceiving the great
est abhorrence of what I had done, removed to the most
distant side of the court, firmly resolved that those buildings
should never be repaired for her use; and, in the presence of
her chief confidents, could not forbear vowing revenge.*
And again,
*Swift, in this description of the empress's hostility on account of his indecency,
and her forgetfulness of the essential service which he had rendered, alludes to the
prejudices of Queen Anne, who was more indignant at the immorality of his
writings than grateful for his support to her favourite ministry. The Queen bad
actually nominated Swift to an English Bishopric, when Dr. Sharp, archbishop of
York, went to the Queen, showed her the "Tale of a Tub," and declared that the author
of such a work could not be made a prelate without bringing disgrace on the church.
Hence Swift, in the lines on himself, complains that he is
By an old
-pursued,
A crazy prelate and a royal prude.
mga pagta
York is from Lambeth sent to show the queen
A dangerous treatise writ against the spleen,
Which, by the style, the matter, and the drift,
'Tis thought could be the work of none but Swift.
The Archbishop was eagerly seconded by the Duchess of Somerset, whom Swift
had bitterly lampooned. The Queen could never afterwards be persuaded to revoke
Ler determination, and Swift thenceforth always spoke of her in terms of contempt
40
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
1
CHAPTER VI.*
of the inhabitants of Lilliput; their learning, laws, and customs; the manner of
educating their children-The author's way of living in that country-His vindi-
cation of a great lady.
QUARRELS and intrigues are so common in courts, that I
need not dwell on the calumnies devised by the envious to
prejudice the mind of the empress still further against me, and
I shall therefore turn to a different subject. Although I
intend to leave the description of this empire to a particular
treatise, yet, in the mean time, I am content to gratify the
curious reader with some general ideas. As the common size
of the natives is somewhat under six inches high, so there is
an exact proportion in all other animals, as well as plants and
trees; for instance, the tallest horses and oxen are between
four and five inches in height, the sheep an inch and a half,
more or less; their geese about the bigness of a sparrow, and
so the several gradations downwards, till you e me to the
smallest, which, to my sight were almost invisible; but nature
has adapted the eyes of the Lilliputians to all objects proper
for their view; they see with great exactness, but at no great
*In a German critique on Gulliver's Travels, this chapter has been rather
severely censured, because the author has neglected to give any particulars of the
Lilliputian climate and its effects; a source from which the review avers, that many
circumstances might have been deduced which would give an additional plausibility
to the narrative. It must be observed, however, in Swift's justification, that this
neglect of observing climate and its peculiarities is common to all the early narra
tives of voyagers, and also that for the purposes of his satire it was necessary to
lentify the Lilliputian climate with that of England.
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
141
distance. And to show the sharpness of their sight towards
objects that are near, I have been much pleased with a cook
pulling a lark, which was not so large as a common fly; and
a young girl threading an invisible needle with invisible silk.
Their tallest trees are about seven feet high, I mean some
of those in the great royal park, the tops whereof I could but
just reach with my fist clenched. The other vegetables are
n the same proportion; but this I leave to the reader's imag-
ination.
I shall say but little at present of their learning, which for
many ages has flourished in all its branches among them;
but their manner of writing is very peculiar, being neither
from the left to the right like the Europeans;
Inimitable, Incomparable:
nor from the right to the left like the Arabians;
ليجثحد
لعشص شكلق ننخذ حكس
nor from up to down, like the Chinese;
草​天
​才 ​AL
功​律
​史​子
​حبج
but aslant, from one corner of the paper to the other, like
ladies in England.
They bury their dead with their heads directly downward,
because they hold an opinion that in eleven thousand moons
they are all to rise again; in which period the earth (which
they conceive to be flat) will turn upside down, and by this
means they shall, at their resurrection, be found ready stand-
142
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
ing on their feet. The learned among them confess the
absurdity of this doctrine; but the practice still continues, in
compliance to the vulgar.
There are some laws and customs in this empire very
peculiar; and if they were not so directly contrary to those
of my own dear country, I should be tempted to say a little in
their justification. It is only to be wished they were as well
executed. The first I shall mention, relates to informers. All
crimes against the state are punished here with the utmost
severity; but if the person accused makes his innocence
plainly to appear upon his trial, the accuser is immediately put
to an ignominious death; and out of his goods or lands the
innocent person is quadruply recompensed for the loss of his
time, for the danger he underwent, for the hardship of his
imprisonment, and for all the charges he has been at in mak-
ing his defence; or, if that fund be deficient, it is largely sup-
plied by the crown. The emperor also confers on him some
public mark of his favour, and proclamation is made of his
innocence through the whole city.
They look upon fraud as a greater crime than theft, and
therefore seldom fail to punish it with death; for they allege,
that care and vigilance, with a very common understanding,
may preserve a man's goods from thieves, but honesty has no
fence against superior cunning; and since it is necessary that
there should be a perpetual intercourse of buying and selling,
and dealing upon credit, where fraud is permitted and con-
nived at, or has no law to punish it, the honest dealer is
always undone, and the knave gets the advantage. I remem-
ber, when I was once interceding with the king for a criminal.
who had wronged his master of a great sum of money, which
he received by order, and ran away with; and happening to
tell his majesty by way of extenuation, that it was only a
breach of trust, the emperor thought it monstrous in me to
offer as a defence the greatest aggravation of the crime; and
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
143
truly I had little to say in return, farther than the common
answer, that different nations had different customs; for, I
confess I was heartily ashamed.*
Although we call rewards and punishments the two
hinges upon which all government turns, yet I could
never observe this maxim to be put in practice by any
nation except that of Lilliput. Whoever can there bring suffi-
cient proof that he has strictly observed the laws of his country
for seventy-three moons, has a claim to certain privileges,
according to his quality and condition of life, with a propor-
tionable sum of money out of a fund appropriated for that use;
he likewise acquires the title of snilpall, or legal, which is
added to his name, but does not descend to his posterity.
And these people thought it a prodigious defect of policy
among us when I told them that our laws were enforced only
by penalties, without any mention of reward. It is upon this
account that the image of Justice, in their courts of judicature,
is formed with six eyes, two before, as many behind, and on
each side one, to signify circumspection; with a bag of gold
open in her right hand, and a sword sheathed in her left, to
show that she is more disposed to reward than to punish.
In choosing persons for all employments, they have more
regard to good morals than to great abilities; for since govern-
ment is necessary to mankind, they believe that the common
size of human understanding is suited to some station or other;
and that Providence never intended to make the management
of public affairs a mystery to be comprehended only by a few
persons of sublime genius, of which there seldom are three
born in an age: but they suppose truth, justice, temperance,
and the like, to be in every man's power; the practice of which
virtues, assisted by experience and a good intention, would
qualify any man for the service of his country, except where
*An act of parliament has since been passed, by which some breaches of trust
have been made capital-Orig.
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GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
a course of study is required. But they thought the want of
moral virtues was so far from being supplied by superior
endowments of the mind, that employments could never be
put into such dangerous hands as those of persons so qualified;
and at least, that the mistakes committed by ignorance, in a
virtuous disposition, would never be of such fatal consequence
to the public weal, as the practices of a man whose inclina-
tions led him to be corrupt, and who had great abilities to
manage, to multiply and defend his corruptions.
In like manner the disbelief of a Divine Providence renders
a man incapable of holding any public station; for since
kings avow themselves to be the deputies of Providence, the
Lilliputians think nothing can be more absurd than for a prince
to employ such men as disown the authority under which he
acts.
In relating these and the following laws, I would only
be understood to mean the original institutions, and not the
most scandalous corruptions, into which these people are
fallen by the degenerate nature of man. For, as to that infa-
mous practice of acquiring great employments by dancing on
ropes, or badges of favour and distinction by leaping sticks
and creeping under them, the reader is to observe that they
were first introduced by the grandfather of the emperor now
reigning, and grew to the present height by the gradual
increase of party and faction.*
Ingratitude is among them a capital crime, as we read
it to have been so in some other countries: for they reason
thus; that whoever makes ill returns to his benefactor, must
needs be a common enemy to the rest of mankind, from whom
he has received no obligation, and therefore such a man is
not fit to live.
Their notions relating to the duties of parents and children.
The author alludes to the prostitution of honours, and the lavish distribution
of titles, in the reign of James I.
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145
differ extremely from ours. For since the conjunction of
male and female is founded upon the great law of nature, in
order to propagate and continue the species, the Lilliputians
will needs have it, that men and women are joined together
like other animals, by the motives of concupiscence; and that
their tenderness towards their young proceeds from the like
natural principle; for which reason they will never allow
that a child is under any obligation to his father for begetting
him, or to his mother for bringing him into the world; which,
considering the miseries of human life, was neither a benefit
in itself, nor intended so by his parents, whose thoughts in
their love encounters, were otherwise employed.* Upon
these, and the like reasonings, their opinion is, that parents
are the last of all others to be trusted with the education of
their own children; and therefore they have in every town
public nurseries, where all parents, except cottagers and labour-
ers, are obliged to send their infants of both sexes to be
reared and educated, when they come to the age of twenty
moons, at which time they are supposed to have some rudi-
ments of docility. These schools are of several kinds, suited
to different qualities, and both sexes. They have certain pro-
fessors well skilled for preparing children for such a condi-
tion of life as befits the ranks of their parents, and their own
capacities, as well as inclinations. I shall first say something
of the male nurseries and then of the female.
The nurseries for males of noble or eminent birth are pro-
vided with grave and learned professors, and their several
deputies. The clothes and food of the children are plain
and simple. They are bred up in the principles of honour,
justice, courage, modesty, clemency, religion, and love of their
country; they are always employed in some business, except
Sir Walter Scott is of opinion that this idea is borrowed from Cyrano Bergerac's
Voyage to the Moon, where he finds a people with whom it was the rule that
parents should obey their children.
7
*
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
146
in the times of eating and sleeping, which are very short, and
two hours for diversions, consisting of bodily exercises. They
are dressed by men till four years of age, and then are obliged
to dress themselves, although their quality be ever so great;
and the women attendants, who are aged proportionably to
ours at fifty, perform only the most menial offices. They are
never suffered to converse with servants, but go together in
sinaller or greater numbers, to take their diversions, and
always in the presence of a professor, or one of his deputies;
whereby they avoid those early bad impressions of folly and
vice, to which our children are subject. Their parents are suf
fered to see them twice only a year; the visit is to last but an
our; they are allowed to kiss the child at meeting and part-
ing; but a professor who always stands by on those occasions,
will not suffer them to whisper, or use any fondling expressions,
or bring any presents of toys, sweetmeats, and the like.
The pension for each family for the education and enter-
tainment of a child, upon failure of due payment, is levied
by the emperor's officers.
The nurseries for children of ordinary gentlemen, merchants,
traders, and handicrafts, are managed proportionably after
the same manner; only those designed for trades are put out
apprentices at eleven years old: whereas those of persons of
quality continue in their exercises till fifteen, which answers
to twenty-one with us; but the confiuement is gradually
lessened for the last three years.
In the female nurseries, the young girls of quality are
educated much like the males, only they are dressed by
orderly servants of their own sex; but always in the presence
ot a professor or deputy, till they come to dress themselves,
which is at five years old. And if it be found that these
nurses ever presume to entertain the girls with frightful or
foolish stories, or the common follies practised by chamber
maids among us, they are publicly whipped thrice about the
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147
city, imprisoned for a year, and banished for life to the inost
desolate part of the country. Thus the young ladies there
are as much ashamed of being cowards and fools as the men,
and despise all personal ornaments, beyond decency and
cleanliness: neither did I perceive any difference in their
education made by their difference of sex, only that the
exercises of the females were not altogether so robust; and
that some rules were given them relating to domestic life,
and a smaller compass of learning was enjoined them; for
their maxim is, that among people of quality, a wife should
be always a reasonable and agreeable companion, because
she cannot be always young. When the girls are twelve
years old, which among them is the marriageable age, their
parents or guardians take them home, with great expressions.
of gratitude to the professors, and seldom without the tears
of the young lady and her companions.
In the nurseries of the females of the meaner sort, the
children are instructed in all kinds of work proper for their
sex, and their several degrees; those intended for apprentices.
are dismissed at seven years old, the rest are kept until eleven.
The meaner families who have children at these nurseries
are obliged, beside their annual pension, which is as low as
possible, to return to the steward of the nursery a small
monthly share of their gettings, to be a portion for the child;
and therefore all parents are limited in their expenses by the
law. For the Lilliputians think that nothing can be more
unjust, than for people, in subservience to their own appetites,
to bring children into the world, and leave the burden of
supporting them upon the public. As to persons of quality
they give security to appropriate a certain sum for each child,
suitable to their condition: and these funds are always
managed with good husbandry and the most exact justice.
The cottagers and labourers keep their children at home,
their business being only to till and cultivate the earth, and
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GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
therefore their education is of little consequence to the public:
but the old and diseased among them are supported by
hospitals; for begging is a trade unknown in this em
pire.
And here it may, perhaps, divert the curious reader, to give
some account of my domestics, and my manner of living in
this country, during a residence of nine months and thirteen
days. Having a head mechanically turned, and being like-
wise forced by necessity, I had made for myself a table and
chair convenient enough, out of the largest trees in the royal
park. Two hundred sempstresses were employed to make me
shirts and linen for my bed and table, all of the strongest and
coarsest kind they could get, which, however, they were
forced to quilt together in several folds, for the thickest was
some degrees finer than lawn. Their linen is usually three
inches wide, and three feet make a piece. The sempstresses
took my measure as I lay on the ground, one standing at my
neck, and another at my mid-leg, with a strong cord extended,
that each held by the end, while a third measured the length
of the cord with a rule of an inch long. Then they measured
my right thumb, and desired no more; for by a mathematical
computation, that twice round the thumb is once round the
wrist, and so on to the neck and the waist, and by the help
of my old shirt, which I displayed on the ground before
them for a pattern; they fitted me exactly. Three hundred
tailors were employed in the same manner to make me
clothes; but they had another contrivance for taking my
measure. I kneeled down, and they raised a ladder from the
ground to my neck: upon this ladder one of them mounted,
and let fall a plumb-line from my collar to the floor, which
just answered the length of my coat; but my waist and arms
I measured myself. When my clothes were finished, which
was done in my house (for the largest of theirs would not
have been able to hold them) they looked like the patchwork
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142
made by the ladies in England, only that mine were all of a
colour.
I had three hundred cooks to dress my victuals, in little
convenient huts built about my house, where they and their
families lived, and prepared me two dishes a-piece. I took
up twenty waiters in my hand, and placed them on the
table; a hundred more attended below on the ground, some
with dishes of meat and some with barrels of wine and other
liquors slung on their shoulders, all which the waiters above
drew up, as I wanted, in a very ingenious manner, by certain
cords, as we draw the bucket up a well in Europe. A dish
of their meat was a good mouthful, and a barrel of their
liquor a reasonable draught. Their mutton yields to ours,
but their beef is excellent. I have had a surloin so large,
that I have been forced to make three bites of it; but this is
rare. My servants were astonished to see me eat it, bones
and all, as in our country we do the leg of a lark. Their
geese and turkeys I usually ate at a mouthful, and I confess
they far exceed ours. Of their smaller fowl, I could take up
twenty or thirty at the end of my knife.
One day his imperial majesty, being informed of my way
of living, desired "that himself and his royal consort, with
the young princes of the blood of both sexes, might have the
happiness," as he was pleased to call it, "of dining with me."
They came accordingly, and I placed them in chairs of state
upon my table, just over against me, with their guards about
them. Flimnap, the lord high-treasurer, attended there.
likewise, with his white staff; and I observed he often looked
on me with a sour countenance, which I would not seem to
regard, but ate more than usual, in honour of my dear coun-
try, as well as to fill the court with admiration. I have some
private reasons to believe, that this visit from his majesty gave
Flimnap an opportunity of doing me ill offices to his master.
That minister had always been my secret enemy, though q
150
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
outwardly caressed me more than was usual to the morose
ness of his nature. He represented to the emperor
"the
low condition of his treasury; that he was forced to take up
money at a great discount; that exchequer bills would not
circulate under nine per cent. below par; that I had cost his
majesty above a million and a half of sprugs (their greatest
gold coin, about the bigness of a spangle); and upon the
whole, that it would be advisable to the emperor to take the
first fair occasion of dismissing me."*
I am here obliged to vindicate the reputation of an excel-
lent lady, who was an innocent sufferer on my account.
The
treasurer took a fancy to be jealous of his wife, from the
malice of some evil tongues, who informed him that her
Grace had taken a violent affection for my person; and the
court scandal ran for some time, that she once came privately
to my lodging. This I solemnly declare to be a most infamous
falsehood, without any grounds, farther than that her Grace
was pleased to treat me with all innocent marks of freedom
and friendship. I own she came often to my house, but
always publicly, nor ever without three more in the coach,
who were usually her sister and young daughter, and some
particular acquaintance; but this was common to many other
ladies of the court; and I still appeal to my servants round
whether they at any time saw a coach at my door without
knowing what persons were in it. On those occasions, when
a servant had given me notice, my custom was to go imme-
diately to the door; and after paying my respects, to take up
the coach and two horses very carefully in my hands (for, if
there were six horses, the postillion always unharnessed four),
and place them on a table, where I had fixed a moveable rim
quite round, of five inches high, to prevent accidents; and I
have often had four coaches and horses at once on my table,
Sir Robert Walpole was often reproached with false economy,-no uncommon
topic of railing against the whigs. The parsimonious disposition of George I. has
been already noticed.
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151
full of company, while I sat in my chair, leaning my face
towards them; and when I was engaged with one set, the
coachmen would gently drive the others round my table. I
have passed many an afternoon very agreeably in these con-
versations. But I defy the treasurer, or his two informers (I
will name them, and let them make the best of it), Clustril
and Drunlo, to prove that any person ever came to me incog-
nito, except the secretary Reldresal, who was sent by express
command of his imperial majesty, as I have before related.
I should not have dwelt so long on this particular, if it had
not been a point wherein the reputation of a great lady is so
nearly concerned, to say nothing of my own; though I then
had the honour to be a nardac, which the treasurer himself is
not; for all the world knows he is only a glumglum, a title
inferior by one degree, as that of a marquis is to a duke in
England; yet I allow he preceded me in right of his post.
These false informations, which I afterwards came to the
knowledge of by an incident not proper to mention, made
the treasurer show his lady for some time an ill countenance,
and me a worse; and although he was at last undeceived and
reconciled to her, yet I lost all credit with him, and found my
interest decline very fast with the emperor himself, who was,
indeed, too much governed by that favourite.
*
* The Dean probably alludes to the inquiries made into Bolingbroke's intrigues
by the Committee, 1715, and particularly that which he was suspected of having
formed with Madame Tencin. There are few passages in this work which can con-
pete for grave and quiet humour with Gulliver's earnest defence of the lady's cha
Bacter
152
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
CHAPTER VI.
The author being informed of a design to accuse him of high treason, makes bis
escape to Blefuscu-His reception there.
AN account of my leaving this kingdom may properly be
prefaced by some particulars of a private intrigue which had
been for two months forming against me. I had been hith-
erto, all my life, a stranger to courts, for which I was unqua-
lified by the meanness of my condition. I had indeed heard
and read enough of the dispositions of great princes and
ministers; but never expected to have found such terrible
effects of them in so remote a country, governed, as I thought,
by very different maxims from those in Europe.
When I was just preparing to pay my attendance on the
emperor of Blefuscu, a considerable person at court (to whom
I had been very serviceable, at a time when he lay under the
highest di-pleasure of his imperial majesty), came to my
house very privately at night, in a close chair, and, without
sending his name, desired admittance. The chairmen were
dismissed; I put the chair, with his lordship in it, into my
coat-pocket; and giving orders to a trusty servant, to say I
was indisposed and gone to sleep, I fastened the door of my
house, placed the chair on the table, according to my usual
custom, and sat down by it. After the common salutations
were over, observing his lordship's countenance full of con-
cern, and inquiring into the reason, he desired "I would hear
him with patience, in a matter that highly concerned my
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
153
honour and my life." His speech was to the following effect,
for I took notes of it as soon as he left me :-
"You are to know," said he, "that several committees of
council have been lately called, in the most private manner, on
your account; and it is but two days since his majesty came
to a full resolution.
"You are very sensible that Skyresh Bolgolam (galbet, or
high admiral), has been your mortal enemy, almost ever since
your arrival. His original reasons I know not; but his hatred
is increased since your great success against Blefuscu, by
which his glory as admiral is much obscured. This lord, in
conjunction with Flimnap, the high treasurer, whose enmity
against you is notorious on account of his lady, Limtoc the
general, Lalcon the chamberlain, and Balmuff the grand jus-
ticiary, have prepared articles of impeachment against you,
for treason and other capital crimes."
This preface made me so impatient, being conscious of my
own merit and innocence, that I was going to interrupt him;
when he entreated me to be silent, and thus proceeded.
Out of gratitude for the favors you have done me, I pro-
cured information of the whole proceedings, and a copy of
the articles,* wherein I venture my head for your service.
ARTICLES OF IMPEACHMENT
AGAINST
QUINBUS FLESTRIN, THE MAN-MOUNTAIN.
ART. I.
'WHEREAS, by a statute made in the reign of his imperial
majesty Calin Deffar Plune, it is enacted, that whosoever
shall make water within the precincts of the royal palace, shall
*These articles are designed to ridicule the articles of impeachment against
Oxford, Ormond, and Bolingbroke, in 1715.
**
154
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
be liable to the pains and penalties of high-treason; notwith
standing, the said Quinbus Flestrin, in open breach of the
said law, under colour of extinguishing the fire kindled in the
apartment of his majesty's most dear imperial consort, did ma-
liciously, traitorously, and devilishly, by discharge of his urine,
put out the said fire kindled in the said apartment, lying and
being within the precincts of the said royal palace, against
the statute in that case provided, etc., against the duty, etc.
ART. II.
That the said Quinbus Flestrin having brought the im-
perial fleet of Blefuscu into the royal port, and being afterwards
commanded by his imperial majesty to seize all other ships.
of the said empire of Blefuscu, and reduce that empire to at
province, to be governed by a viceroy from hence, and to de-
stroy and put to death not only all the Big-endian exiles, but
likewise all the people of that empire who would not imme-
diately forsake the Big-endian heresy; he, the said Flestrin,
like a false traitor against his most auspicious, serene, imperial
majesty, did petition to be excused from the said service, upon
pretence of unwillingness to force the consciences, or destroy
the liberties and lives of an innocent people.t
There are many who believed that in consequenee of the numerous victories
obtained by the Duke of Marlborough and Prince Eugene, it would have been possiblə
for the Allies to have marched to Paris, and compelled Louis XIV. to purchase peace
by the sacrifice of a large portion of his dominion. Swift so far yields to popular
prejudice as not to contest the possibility of such an exploit (here typified by the
complete conquest of Blefuscu); he takes the higher ground of national justice,
and insinuates that if the Allies had violated the integrity of France, they would
have been guilty of the very crime which furnished a pretext for their inveterato
hostility to Louis XIV. The frivolous and vexatious character of some of the arti-
cles of Gulliver's impeachment is scarcely an exaggeration of the trivial nature of
many of the charges brought against Queen Anne's last cabinet by the Walpole
administration.
A lawyer thinks himself honest, if he does the best he can for his client; and a
statesman, if he promotes the interests of his country: but the Dean here inculcates
a higher notion of right and wrong, and obligations to a larger community.-
Hawksworth.
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155
ART. III.
'That whereas certain ambassadors arrived from the court
of Blefuscu, to sue for peace in his majesty's court; he, the
said Flestrin, did, like a false traitor, aid, abet, comfort, and
divert the said ambassadors, although he knew them to be
servants of a prince who was lately an open enemy to his
imperial majesty, and in an open war against his said
majesty.
ART. IV.
'That the said Quinbus Flestrin, contrary to the duty of a
faithful subject, is now preparing to make a voyage to the
court and empire of Blefuscu, for which he has received only
verbal license from his imperial majesty, and under colour of
the said license, does falsely and traitorously intend to take
the said voyage, and thereby to aid, comfort, and abet the
emperor of Blefuscu, so lately an enemy, and in open war
with his imperial majesty aforesaid.'
"There are some other articles; but these are the most
important, of which I have read you an abstract.
"In the several debates upon this impeachment, it must
be confessed that his majesty gave many marks of his great
lenity; often urging the services you had done him, and
endeavouring to extenuate your crimes. The treasurer and
admiral insisted that you should be put to the most painful
and ignominious death, by setting fire to your house at night;
and the general was to attend with twenty thousand men,
armed with poisoned arrows, to shoot you on the face and
hands. Some of your servants were to have private orders
to strew a poisonous juice on your shirts and sheets, which
would soon make you tear your own flesh, and die in the
utmost torture. The general came into the same opinion;
so that for a long time there was a majority against you;
156
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
but his majesty resolving, if possible, to spare your life, at last
brought off the chamberlain.
"Upon this incident, Reldresal, principal secretary for
private affairs, who always approved himself your true friend,
was commanded by the emperor to deliver his opinion, which
he accordingly did; and therein justified the good thoughts
you have of him. He allowed your crimes were great, but
that still there was room for mercy, the most commendable.
virtue in a prince, and for which his majesty was so justly
celebrated. He said, the friendship between you and him was
so well known to the world, that perhaps the most honourable
board might think him partial: however, in obedience to the
command he had received, he would freely offer his sentiments.
That if his majesty, in consideration of your services, and
pursuant to his own merciful disposition, would please to
spare your life, and only give orders to put out both of your
eyes, he humbly conceived that, by this expedient, justice.
might in some measure be satisfied, and all the world would
applaud the lenity of the emperor, as well as the fair and
generous proceedings of those who have the honour to be his
counsellors. That the loss of your eyes would be no im-
pediment to your bodily strength, by which you might still
be useful to his majesty: that blindness is an addition to
courage, by concealing dangers from us: that the fear you
had for your eyes, was the greatest difficulty in bringing
over the enemy's fleet; and it would be sufficient for you to
see by the eyes of the ministers, since the greatest princes do
*
no more.
"This proposal was received with the utmost disapprobation
*The pretended merciful counsel of Reldresal, who proposed a commutation of
punishment, which, however, was worse than death, appears to be a satire on those
whigs who proposed that the Earl of Oxford and Lord Bolingbroke, instead of being
impeached for high treason, and thus brought in peril of life, should only be accused
of high misdemeanors, which would justify their being deprived of title and estate
and sentenced to civil death.
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157
܀
by the whole board. Belgolam, the admiral, could not preserve
his temper; but rising up in a fury, said he wondered now
the secretary durst presume to give his opinion for preserving
the life of a traitor: that the services you had performed
were, by all true reasons of state, the great aggravation of
your crimes; that you, who was able to extinguish the fire by
discharge of urine in her majesty's apartment (which he
mentioned with horror), might, at another time, raise an in-
undation by the same means, to drown the whole palace; and
the same strength which enabled you to bring over the
enemy's fleet, might serve, upon the first discontent, to carry
it back that he had good reason to think you were a Big-
endian in your heart; and, as treason begins in the heart
before it appears in overt acts, so he accused you as a traitor
on that account, and therefore insisted you should be put to
death.
"The treasurer was of the same opinion: he showed to
what straits his majesty's revenue was reduced, by the charge
of maintaining you, which would soon grow insupportable:
that the secretary's expedient of putting out your eyes, was
so far from being a remedy against this evil, that it would
probably increase it, as is manifested from the common
practice of blinding some kind of fowls, after which they
feed the faster and grow sooner fat; that his sacred majesty
and the council, who are your judges, were, in their own
consciences, fully convinced of your guilt, which was a suffi-
cient argument to condemn you to death without the formal
proofs required by the strict letter of the law.*
* There is something so odious in whatever is wrong, that even those whom it does
not subject to punishment, endeavour to colour it with an appearance of right; but
the attempt is always unsuccessful, and only betrays a consciousness of deformity
by showing a desire to hide it. Thus the Lilliputian court pretended a right to dis-
pense with the strict letter of the law to put Gulliver to death, though by the stric
letter of the law only he could be convicted of a crime; the intention of the statuta
not being to suffer the palace rather to be burnt than so to be extinguished
Marksworth.
*
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
158
But his imperial majesty, fully determined against capital
punisment, was graciously pleased to say, that since the coun-
cil thought the loss of your eyes too easy a censure, some
other may be inflicted hereafter.* And your friend the secre-
tary, humbly desiring to be heard again, in answer to what
the treasurer had objected, concerning the great charge his
majesty was at in maintaining you, said, that his excellency,
who had the sole disposal of the emperor's revenue, might
easily provide against that evil, by gradually lessening your
establishment; by which, for want of sufficient food, you will
grow weak and faint, and lose your appetite, and consume in
a few months; neither would the stench of your carcass be
then so dangerous, when it should become more than half
diminished; and immediately upon your death, five or six
thousand of his majesty's subjects might, in two or three days,
cut your flesh from your bones, take it away by cartloads, and
bury it in distant parts, to prevent infection, leaving the skel-
eton as a monument of admiration to posterity.
"Thus by the great friendship of the secretary, the whole
affair was compromised. It was strictly enjoined, that the
project of starving you by degrees should be kept a secret;
but the sentence of putting out your eyes was entered on the
books; none dissenting, except Bolgolam, the admiral, who,
being a creature of the empress, was perpetually instigated by
her majesty to insist upon your death, she having borne per-
petual malice against you, on account of that infamous and
illegal method you took to extinguish the fire in her apart-
ment.
"In three days your friend the secretary will be directed to
come to your house, and read before you the articles of
This appears to be directed against the partial pardon which was granted to
Lord Bolingbroke. George I. could never be persuaded to restore him to his rights
as a peer, though Bolingbroke bribed the Duchess of Kendal to use her powerful
Intercession, and actually induced her to place his memorial in the king's own
hand.
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159
mpeachment; and then to signify the great lenity and favour
of his majesty and council, whereby you are only condemned
to the loss of your eyes, which his majesty does not question
you will gratefully and humbly submit to; and twenty of his
majesty's surgeons will attend, in order to see the operation
well performed, by discharging very sharp-pointed arrows into
the balls of your eyes, as you lie on the ground.
"I leave to your prudence what measures you will take;
and to avoid suspicion, I must immediately return in as pri-
vate a manner as I came."
His lordship did so; and I remained alone, under many
doubts and perplexities of mind.
It was a custom introduced by this prince and his ministry
(very different, as I have been assured, from the practice of
former times), that after the court had decreed any cruel exe-
cution, either to gratify the monarch's resentment, or the
malice of a favourite, the emperor always made a speech to
his whole council, expressing his great lenity and tenderness
as qualities known and confessed by all the world. This
speech was immediately published throughout the kingdom;*
nor did any thing terrify the people so much, as those encomi-
ums on his majesty's mercy; because it was observed, that the
more these praises were enlarged and insisted on, the more
inhuman was the punishment, and the sufferer more innocent.
Yet as to myself, I must confess, having never been designed
for a courtier, either by my birth or education, I was so ill a
judge of things, that could not discover the lenity and favour
of this sentence, but conceived it (perhaps erroneously) rather
to be rigorous than gentle. I sometimes thought of standing
my trial; for, although I could not deny the facts alleged in the
*Sir Walter Scott supposes that a sarcasm is intended here against the royal pro-
clamations issued after the rebellion of 1715, but Swift more probably alludes to the
king's speech at the opening of parliament, October 11 th, 1722, wherein he informed
ooth Houses of the conspiracy to restore the Pretender, in which Atterbury was
involved.
160
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
several articles, yet I hoped they would admit of some extenua»
tion. But having in my life perused many state trials, which I
ever observed to terminate as the judges thought fit to direct, I
durst not rely on so dangerous a decision, in so critical a junc
ture, and against such powerful enemies. Once, I was strongly
bent upon resistance: for, while I had liberty, the whole strength
of that empire could hardly subdue me, and I might easily
with stones pelt the metropolis to pieces; but I soon rejected
that project with horror, by remembering the oath I had
made to the emperor, the favours I received from him, and
the high title of nardac he conferred upon me. Neither had
I so soon learned the gratitude of courtiers, to persuade
myself that his majesty's present severities acquited me of al
past obligations.*
At last I fixed upon a resolution, for which it is probable I
may incur some censure, and not unjustly; for I confess I owe
the preserving of mine eyes, and consequently my liberty, to
my own great rashness and want of experience; because, if I
had then known the nature of princes and ministers, which I
have since observed in many other courts, and their methods.
of treating criminals less obnoxious than myself, I should,
with great alacrity and readiness, have submitted to so easy a
punishment.t But hurried on by the precipitancy of youth,
* Gulliver's defence of himself for escaping to Blefuscu is a covert apology for
Bolingbroke's flight to France in 1715; a circumstnce which was frequently quoted
as decisive proof of his guilt, and censured as an act of imprudence by many who
believed in his innocence. The Dean insinuates that it was like that of Gulliver, ren-
dered necessary by the malice of the minsters of the day; and it must be confessed
that the node in which the articles of impeachment were urged forward, gave too
much reason to believe that Bolingbroke's death was pre-determined by his
accusers.
This bitter stroke of irony is directed against the acts of parliament by which
Ormond, Bolingbroke, and the Bishop of Rochester, were attainted. Swift gave
rather a perilous proof of his belief in the innocence of the Duke of Ormond, when,
after that nobleman's attainder, the heralds from the Irish College of Arms went to
remove his escutcheon from St. Patrick's Cathedral, Swift refused them admittance.
and persevered in keeping the duke's coat of arms in its ancient place of honour.
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
161
and having his imperial majesty's license to pay my attend-
ance upon the emperor of Blefuscu, I took this opportunity,
before the three days were elapsed, to send a letter to my
friend the secretary, signifying my resolution of setting out
that morning for Blefuscu, pursuant to the leave I had got;
and, without waiting for an answer, I went to that side of the
island where our fleet lay. I seized a large man-of-war, tied a
cable to the prow, and lifting up the anchors, I stripped
myself, put my clothes (together with my coverlet, which I
carried under my arm) into the vessel, and drawing it after
me, between wading and swimming, arrived at the royal port
of Blefuscu, where the people had long expected me; they lent
me two guides to direct me to the capital city, which is of the
same naine. I held them in my hands till I came within two
hundred yards of the gate, and desired them "to signify my
arrival to one of the secretaries, and let him know I there
waited his majesty's command." I had an answer in about
an hour, "that his majesty, attended by the royal family,
and great officers of the court, was coming out to receive me."
I advanced a hundred yards. The emperor and his train
alighted from their horses, the empress and ladies from their
coaches, and I did not perceive they were in any fright or
concern. I lay on the ground to kiss his majesty's and the
empress's hands. I told his majesty, "that I was come
according to my promise, and with the license of the emperor
my master, to have the honour of seeing so mighty a mon-
arch, and to offer him any service in my power, consistent
with my duty to my own prince;" not mentioning a word of
my disgrace, because I had hitherto no regular information of
it, and might suppose myself wholly ignorant of any such
design; neither could I reasonably conceive that the emperor
would discover the secret, while I was out his power; wherein,
however, it soon appeared I was deceived.
I shall not trouble the reader with the particular account
162
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
of my reception at this court, which was suitable to the gen-
erosity of so great a prince; nor of the difficulties I was in for
want of a house and bed, being forced to lie on the ground,
wrapped up in my coverlet.*
* The author probably alludes to the severe hardships endured by many of the
Jacobite exiles in France
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
163
APTER VII1.
as author, by a lucky accident, finds means to leave Blefuscu; and, after some
difficulties, returns safe to his native country.
THREE days after my arrival, walking out of curiosity to the
north-east coast of the island, I observed, about half a league
off in the sea, somewhat that looked like a boat overturned.
I pulled off my shoes and stockings, and wading two or three
hundred yards, I found the object to approach nearer by force
of the tide; and then plainly saw it to be a real boat, which
I supposed might by some tempest have been driven from a
ship; whereupon I returned immediately towards the city,
and desired his imperial majesty to lend me twenty of the
tallest vessels he had left, after the loss of his fleet, and three·
thousand seamen, under the command of his vice admiral.
This fleet sailed round, while I went back the shortest way to
the coast, where I first discovered the boat. I found the tide
had driven it still nearer. The seamen were all provided with
cordage, which I had beforehand twisted to a sufficient
strength. When the ships came up, I stripped myself, and
waded till I came within a hundred yards of the boat, after
which I was forced to swim till I got up to it. The seamen
threw me the end of the cord, which I fastened to a hole in
the forepart of the boat, and the other end to a man-of-war;
but I found all my labour to little purpose for being out of
my depth, I was not able to work. In this necessity I was
forced to swim behind, and push the boat forward, as often as
164
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
I could, with one of my hands; and the tide favouring me, 1
advanced so far that I could just hold up my chin and feel the
ground. I rested two or three minutes, and then gave the
boat another shove, and so on, till the sea was no higher than
my arm-pits; and now the most laborious part being over, I
took out my other cables, which were stowed in one of the
ships, and fastened them first to the boat, and then to nine of
the vessels which attended me; the wind being favourable,
the seamen towed, and I shoved, until we arrived within forty
yards of the shore, and waiting till the tide was out, I got
dry to the boat, and by the assistance of two thousand men
with ropes and engines, I made a shift to turn it on its bot-
tom, and found it was but little damaged.
I shall not trouble the reader with the difficulties I was
under, by the help of certain paddles, which cost me ten days
making, to get my boat to the royal port of Blefuscu, where
a mighty concourse of people appeared upon my arrival, full
of wonder at the sight of so prodigious a vessel. I told the
emperor “that my good fortune had thrown this boat in my
way, to carry me to some place whence I might return inte
my native country; and begged his majesty's orders for get-
ting materials to fit it up; together with his license to
depart;" which, after some kind expostulations, he was pleased
to grant.
1 did very much wonder, in all this time, not to have heard*
of any express relating to me from our emperor to the court
of Blefuscu. But I was afterwards given privately to under-
stand, that his imperial majesty, never imagining I had the
least notice of his designs, believed I was only gone to Ble-
fnscu in performance of my promise, according to the license
he had given me, which was well known at our court,
and would return in a few days, when the ceremony was
I did very much wonder not to have heard,' etc. This sentence is ungram-
matical; it should have been, 'I did very much. wonder, in all this time, at not
having beard of my express,' etc.-Sheridan.
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
165
ended. But he was at last in pain at my long absence; and
after consulting with the treasurer and the rest of that cabal,
a person of quality was dispatched with a copy of the arti-
cles against me. This envoy had instructions to represent to
the monarch of Blefuscu "the great lenity of his master, who
was content to punish me no farther than with the loss of
mine eyes; that I had fled from justice; and if I did not
return in two hours, I should be deprived of my title of nar-
dac, and declared a traitor." The envoy farther added, "that
in order to maintain the peace and amity between both em-
pires, his master expected that his brother of Blefuscu would
give orders to have me sent back to Lilliput, bound hand and
foot, to be punished as a traitor."
The emperor of Blefuscu, having taken three days to con-
sult, returned an answer consisting of many civilities and
excuses. He said, "that, as for sending me bound, his brother
knew it was impossible; that although I had deprived him of
his fleet, yet he owed great obligations to me for many good
offices I had done him in making peace. That, however, both
their majesties would soon be made easy; for I had found a
prodigious vessel on the shore, able to carry me on the sea,
which he had given orders to fit up, with my own assistance
and direction: and he hoped, in a few weeks, both empires
would be freed from so insupportable an incumbrance."
With this answer the envoy returned to Lilliput, and the
inonarch of Blefuscu related to me all that had passed; offer-
ing me at the same time (but under the strictest confidence)
his gracious protection, if I would continue in his service;
wherein, although I believed him sincere, yet I resolved never
more to put any confidence in princes or ministers, where I
could possibly avoid it; and, therefore, with all due acknow-
This embassy from Lilliput is designed to satirize the frequent remonstrances
made to the French court by the English ministers in consequence of the protection
granted to the Jacobites
166
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
ledgments for his favourable intentions, I humbly begged to
be excused. I told him, that "since fortune, whether good
or evil, had thrown a vessel in my way, I was resolved to ven-
ture myself on the ocean, rather than be an occasion of dif-
ference between two such mighty monarchs." Neither did I
find the emperor at all displeased; and discovered, by a cer-
tain accident, that he was very glad of my resolution, and so
were most of his ministers.*
*
These considerations moved me to hasten my departure
somewhat sooner than I intended; to which the court, impa
patient to have me gone, very readily contributed. Five
hundred workmen were employed to make two sails to my
boat, according to my directions, by quilting thirteen folds
of their strongest linen together. I was at the pains of
making ropes and cables, by twisting ten, twenty, or thirty,
of the thickest and strongest of theirs. A great stone that I
happened to find, after a long search, by the sea-shore, served
me for an anchor. I had the tallow of three hundred cows,
for greasing my boat, and other uses. I was at incredible
pains in cutting down some of the largest timber trees for
oars and masts, wherein I was, however, much assisted by his
majesty's ship-carpenters, who helped me in smoothing them,
after I had done the rough work.
*This irony is directed against the jealousy with which Bolingbroke, during hit
exile, was regarded by the French ministers. His restless spirit of intrigue ren-
dered him scarcely less formidable at Versailles than he had been at St. James's.
During his exile, Bolingbroke entered the Pretender's service, but soon quarrelled
with his master, and was formally attainted at the mock court of St. James's. It
was a singular fortune to be secretary to and attainted by both governments. Swift
has invariably eulogized Bolingbroke as a pure patriot; but he was far from de-
serving that character. "His life," says a recent writer, "was chiefly spent in re-
tirement, and though not highly exemplary of practical wisdom, he was looked up
to with oracular veneration by contemporary wits and politicians. He was a fine
speaker and highly accomplished man; of great energy and decision of character;
but unscrupulous, and lacked the integrity of principle and singleness of purpose
which inspire confidence and lead to unquestioned excellence. He was ambitious,
envious of superiority, resentful, lax in morals, a partisan in politics, and an infi lel
In religion.
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
167
In about a month, when all was prepared, I sent to receive
his majesty's commands, and to take my leave. The emperor
and royal family came out of the palace; I lay down on my
face to kiss his hand, which he very graciously gave me; so
did the empress and young princes of the blood. His
majesty presented me with fifty purses of two hundred sprugs
apiece, together with his picture at full length, which I put
immediately into one of my gloves, to keep it from being
hurt. The ceremonies at my departure were too many to
trouble the reader with at this time.
I stored the boat with the carcasses of a hundred oxen and
three hundred sheep, with bread and drink proportionable,
and as much meat ready-dressed as four hundred cooks could
provide. I took with me six cows and two bulls alive, with
as many ewes and rams, intending to carry them into my
own country, and propagate the breed; and to feed them on
board, I had a good bundle of hay, and a bag of corn. I
would gladly have taken a dozen of the natives, but this was
a thing the emperor would by no means permit; and besides
a diligent search into my pockets, his majesty engaged my
honour "not to carry away any of his subjects, although with
their own consent and desire."
Having thus prepared all things as well as I was able, I
set sail, on the twenty-fourth day of September 1701, at six in
the morning; and when I had gone about four leagues to the
northward, the wind being at south-east, at six in the evening, I
descried a small island, about half a league to the north-west.
I advanced forward, and cast anchor on the lee side of the
island, which seemed to be uninhabited. I then took some
refreshment, and went to my rest. I slept well, and as I con-
Jecture at least six hours, for I found the day broke in two
hours after I awaked. It was a clear night. I ate my break-
fast before the sun was up; and heaving anchor, the wind
being favourable, I steered the same course that I had done
168
GULLIVER'S TRAVEL8.
the day before, wherein I was directed by my pocket-compass.
My intention was to reach, if possible, one of those islands
which I had reason to believe lay to the north-east of Van
Diemen's Land. I discovered nothing all that day; but
upon the next, about three in the afternoon, when I had, by
my computation, made twenty-four leagues from Blefuscu, I
descried a sail steering to the south-east; my course was due
east. I hailed her but could get no answer; yet I found I
gained upon her, for the wind slackened. I made all the sail
I could, and in half an hour she spied me, then hung out her
ancient, and discharged a gun. It is not easy to express the
joy I was in, upon the unexpected hope of once more seeing
my beloved country, and the dear pledges I left in it. The
ship slackened her sails, and I came up with her between
five and six in the evening, September 26; but my heart
leaped within me to see her English colours. I put my cows
and sheep into my coat-pockets, and got on board with all
my little cargo of provisions. The vessel was an English
merchantman, returning from Japan by the North and South
Seas; the captain, Mr. John Biddel of Deptford, a very civil
man and an excellent sailor. We were now in the latitude
of 30 degrees south; there were about fifty men in the ship;
and here I met an old comrade of mine, one Peter Williams,
who gave me a good character to the captain. This gentle-
man treated me with kindness, and desired I would let him
know what place I came from last, and whither I was bound;
which I did in a few words, but he thought I was raving, and
that the dangers I had underwent* had disturbed my head;
whereupon I took my black cattle and sheep out of my
pocket, which, after great astonishment, clearly convinced
him of my veracity. I then showed him the gold given me
by the emperor of Blefuscu, together with his majesty's pic-
•
*“I had underwent," is not English it should have been "I had undergone
or “I underwent."
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
169
ture at full length, and some other rarities of that country.
I
gave him two purses of two hundred sprugs each, and pro-
mised, when we arrived in England, to make him a present
of a cow, and a sheep big with young.
I shall not trouble the reader with a particular account of
this voyage, which was very prosperous for the most part.
We arrived in the Downs on the 13th of April 1702. I had
only one misfortune, that the rats on board carried away one
of my sheep: I found her bones in a hole, picked clean from
the flesh. The rest of my cattle I got safe ashore, and set
them a-grazing on a bowling-green at Greenwich, where the
fineness of the grass made them feed very heartily, though I
had always feared the contrary: neither could I possibly
have preserved them in so long a voyage, if the captain had
not allowed me some of his best biscuit, which, rubbed to
powder, and mingled with water, was their constant food.
The short time I continued in England, I made a considerable
profit by showing my cattle to many persons of quality and
others; and before I began my second voyage I sold them
for six hundred pounds. Since my last return I find the breed
is considerably increased, especially the sheep, which I hope
will prove much to the advantage of the woollen manufacture,
by the fineness of the fleeces.* I stayed but two months with
my wife and family, for my insatiable desire of seeing foreign
countries would suffer me to continue no longer. I left
fifteen hundred pounds with my wife, and fixed her in a good
This is a passing sarcasın on the numerous acts of parliament for encouraging
the woollen manufactures, and the various schemes proposed in Swift's time for
improving the growth and fineness of wool. There is probably no other subject on
which greater blunders have been made in commercial legislation than the English
woollen trade, nor any which more clearly shows the futility of protecting duties
and direct encouragement from parliament. Swift provoked the indignation of
the party in power, by protesting earnestly against the commercial jealousy which
annihilated the woollen manufactures of Ireland, under pretence of their interfer-
ing with the staple manufacture of England: but wool was the favourite hobby of
his day, and projects for extending the trade formed no small part of the bubbles
of 1720.
00
170
GULLIVER 8 TRAVELS.
house at Redriff. My remaining stock I carried with me,
part in money and part in goods, in hopes to improve my
fortunes. My eldest uncle John had left me an estate in land
near Epping of about thirty pounds a year, and I had a long
lease of the Black Bull in Fetter-lane, which yielded me as
much more; so that I was not in any danger of leaving my
family upon the parish. My son Johnny, named so after his
uncle, was at the grammar-school, and a towardly child. My
daughter Betty (who is now well married, and has children)
was then at her needlework. I took leave of my wife and
boy and girl, with tears on both sides, and went on board the
Adventure, a merchant ship of three hundred tons, bound for
Surat, Captain John Nicholas, of Liverpool, commander.
But my account of this voyage must be referred to the
Second Part of my Travels.
-
TO QUINBUS FLESTRIN, THE MAN-MOUNTAIN
An Ode,
BY TITTY TIT, ESQ.
PORT-LAUREATE TO HIS MAJESTY OF LAAIPUT,
MAJESTY
Translated into English.
In amaze,
Lost, I gaze!
Can our eyes
Reach thy size?
May my lays
Swell with praise!
Worthy thee!
Worthy me!
Muse inspire
All thy fire.
Bards of old
Of him told,
When they said
Atlas' head
Propped the skies:
See, and believe your eyes,
See him stride
Valleys wide:
Over woods,
Over floods,
When he treads,
Mountains' heads
171
172
ODE TO QUINBUS FLESTRIN,
Groan and shake;
Armies quake,
Lest his sourn
Overturn
Man and steed:
Troops take heed.
Left and right,
Speed your flight
Lest an host
Beneath his foot be lost
Turn'd aside
From his hide,
Safe from wound,
Darts rebound;
From his nose
Clouds he blows;
When he speaks
Thunder breaks!
When he eats,
Famine threats;
When he driuks
Neptune shrinks;
Nigh thy ear
In mid air
On thy hand
Let me stand,
So shall I,
Lofty poet, touch the sky.
•
·
A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG
245/4
PART II.
7
A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG*
CHAPTER I.
A great storm descried; the long boat sent to fetch water, the author goes with It
to discover the country-He is left on shore, is selzed by one of the natives and
carried to a farmer's house.-His reception, with several accidents that happened
there-A description of the inhabitants.
An active and restless life having been assigned me by nature
and fortune, in two months after my return I again left my native
country, and took shipping in the Downs, or the 20th day of
June, 1702, in the Adventure, Captain John Nicholas, a Cor-
nishman, commander, bound for Surat. We had a very
prosperous gale, till we arrived at the Cape of Good Hope,
* The existence of giants as a distinct race, superior in strength and stature to
the rest of mankind, was long maintained as an article of faith, not merely by the
ignorant and vulgar, but by men of learning. According to the Rabbins, Adam was
not only the first but the largest of mankind: they affirm that when he was created,
his stature was so great that his head reached the heavens. This so annoyed the
angels that they remonstrated with the Creator, upon which God placed his hand on
Adam' head, and he instantly shrank into one thousand cubits. When the Garden
of Eden was disjoined from the rest of the world, after the Fall, by the interposition
of the ocean, they assert that Adam waded through the depths of his new habitation,
and that Eve accompanied him without fear of drowning; which she might well do,
if, as the Mohammedan doctors tell us, when her head lay on a hill near Mecca,
her knees rested on two others in the plain, more than two bow shots asunder.
Not only Jewish but Christian writers have maintained that a gigantic antedi-
luvian race was produced by the intercourse between "the sons of God" and "the
daughters of men." (Gen. vi. 5.) And they aver, that these giants were destroyed
by the universal deluge. Hence the Douay version renders Job xxvi. 5: “Behold
175
176
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
where we landed for fresh water; but discovering a lake, we
unshipped our goods, and wintered there; for the captain
falling sick of an ague, we could not leave the Cape till the
end of March. We then set sail, and had a good voyage till
the giants groan under the waters, and they that dwell with them. Hell is naked
before them, and there is no cover for perdition." To this sublime version the fol-
lowing comment is added: "Giants were not able to wade in Noah's flocd, but were
drowned with the rest." The Rabbins however make an exception in favour of Og,
king of Basan, compared to whom, according to their legends, all other giants were
mere Lilliputians. The waters of the deluge, they say, only reached to his knees,
and he was alive at the time of Exodus, when God destroyed him by the hand of
Moses. For Og, perceiving the advance of the Israelites, whose army covered a
space of nine miles, cut a stone out of a mountain, so wide, that it would have
covered the whole army, and he put it on his head that he might throw it upon them.
But God sent a lapwing which pecked a whole through the stone, so that it slipped
over Og's head, and hung around his neck like a necklace. The weight bore him
to the ground on his face, and in this condition he was attacked by Moses. Moses
was ten cubits in stature, and he took a spear ten cubits long, and threw it ten
cubits high, and yet it only reached Og's heels. Moses however succeeded in slay-
ing him; and when he was dead, his body lay for a whole year, reaching as far as
the river Nile in Egypt.
The feats of the giants who warred against the gods are sufficiently known, and
they may be passed over as purely mythological. But grave historians have re-
corded that Scandinavia was originally inhabited by giants, one of whom, according
to Olaus Magnus, was an eminent poet; and, unlike the rest of the tuneful brother-
hood, wrote against indulgence in love and wine. Britain, if we may trust Grafton's
Chronicle, was similarly tenanted: "Brute with his companie after his first landing
in the island of Totnesse, searched and travailed throughout all the land, and found
the same to be marvellous ryche and plentifull of wood and pasture, and garnished
with most goodly and pleasant ryvers and stremes; and as he passed he was
encountered in sundry places with a great number of mightie and strong gyants,
which at that did inhabit the same."
A belief in the existence of whole ations of giants is only now beginning to fade
away before the gradual progress of geographical discovery. The ancients supposed
that giants possessed the interior of Africa. In the time of Purchas (A г. 1614),
the Indians of Virginia were supposed to belong to the race of Anak, for he gives
the following account of a Virginian tribe, on the authority of Alexander Whita-
ker, an early traveller in these regions. "The Sasquesahanockes are a giantly
people, strange in proportion, behavior, and attire, their voice sounding from them
as out of a cave, their attire of bears' skins hanged with bears' paws, the head of a
wolf, and such like jewels; and (if any would have a spoone to eat with the divele)
their tobacco-pipes were three quarters of a yard long, carved at the great end
with a bird, beare, or other device, sufficient to beat out the braines of a horse, (and
how many asses' braines are beat out, or rather men's braines smoked out and asses'
braines haled in, by our lesse pipes at home?) the rest of their furniture was suitable.
The calf of one of their legges was measured three-quarters of a yard about, the
A VOYAGE TO BROBDING NAG. 177
we passed the Straits of Madagascar; but having got north-
ward of that island, and to about five degrees south latitude,
the winds, which in those seas are observed to blow a constant
equal gale between the north and west, from the beginning
of December to the beginning of May, on the 19th of April
began to blow with much greater violence, and more westerly
than usual, continuing so for twenty days together; during
which time, we were driven a little to the east of the Molucca
Islands, about three degrees northward of the line, as our
captain found by an observation he took on the 2d of May,
at which time the wind ceased, and it was a perfect calm;
whereat I was not a little rejoiced. But he being a man well
experienced in navigation of those seas, bid us all prepare
against a storm, which accordingly happened on the day fol-
lowing; for the southern wind, called the southern moonshine,
began to set in.
Finding it was likely to overblow,* we took in our sprit-
rest of his limbs proportionable." The exaggerated accounts of the Patagonians,
published by Magellan and Le Maire, had not been refuted in Swift's time; so late
as 1764, Commodore Byron declared that their stature filled him with astonishment.
Hence Brobdingnag, considered merely as a fiction, did not seem so extravagant
in the early part of the eighteenth as it does in the nineteenth century.
<
Lucian in his True History, and Bishop Godwin in his whimsical account of Do-
mingo Gonsales' journey to the moon, have introduced gigantic races into their
fictions. It is very probable that Swift took his first hint of the Brobdingnaggians
from the latter; for, like the bishop, he associates mildness and gentleness with
enormous stature. Many of the lunarians," says the author of the World in the
Moon, "live wonderful long, even beyond belief; affirming to me that some survived
thirty thousand moons, which is above a thousand years; and this is generally
noted, that the taller people are of stature, the more excellent are their endowments
of mind, and the longer time they live; for their stature is very different, great
numbers not much exceeding ours, who seldom live above a thousand moons, which
is fourscore of our years. These they account base unworthy creatures, but one
degree above brute beasts, and employ them in mean and servile offices, calling them
bastards, counterfeits, or changelings. Those whom they account true natural
luners, or moon-men, exceed ours generally thirty times, both in quantity of body
and length of life proportionable to the quality of the day in both worlds: theirs
containing almost thirty of our days."
This is a parody upon the account of storms and naval manœuvres frequent in
old voyages, and is merely an assemblage of sea terms put together at random.
9*
178
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
sail, and stood by to hand the fore-sail; but, making foul
weather, we looked that the guns were all fast and handed
the mizen. The ship lay very broad off, so we thought it
better spooning before the sea than trying or hulling. We
reefed the fore-sail and set him, and hauled aft the foresheet;
the helm was hard-a weather. The ship wore bravely. We
belayed the fore down-haul; but the sail was split, and we
hauled down the yard, and got the sail into the ship, and
unbound all things clear of it. It was a very fierce storm:
the sea broke strange and dangerous. We hauled off upon
the laniard of the whip-staff, and helped the man at the helm.
We could not get down our topmast, but let all stand, because
she scudded before the sea very well, and we knew that the
topmast being aloft, the ship was the wholesomer and made
better way through the sea, seeing we had sea-room. When
the storm was over, we set fore-sail and main sail, and brought
the ship to. Then we set the mizen, main-top-sail, and the
fore-top-sail. Our course was north-east, and the wind was
at south-west. We got the starboard tacks aboard, we cast
off our weather braces and lifts; we set in the lee-braces, and
hauled forward by the weather-bowlings, and hauled them.
tight, and belayed them, and hauled over the mizen tack to
windward, and kept her full and by as near as she would lie.
During this storm, which was followed by a strong wind west-
south-west, we were carried, by my computation, about five
bundred leagues to the east, so that the oldest sailor on board
could not tell in what part of the world we were.
visions held out well, our ship was staunch, and our crew all
in good health; but we lay in the utmost distress for water.
We thought it best to hold on the same course, rather than
turn more northerly, which might have brought us to the
north-west of Great Tartary, and into the Frozen Sea.
Our pro-
On the 16th day of June 1703, a boy on the topmast dis
covered land. On the 17th we came in full view of a great
A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.
179
Isant, or continent (for we knew not whether); on the south
side whereof was a small neck of land jutting out into the
sea, and a creek too shallow to hold a ship of above one hundred
tons. We cast anchor within a league of this creek, and our
captain sent a dozen of his men well armed in the long boat,
with vessels for water, if any could be found. I desired his
leave to go with them, that I might see the country, and
make what discoveries I could. When we came to land we
saw no river, or spring, nor any sign of inhabitants. Our
men therefore wandered on the shore to find out some fresh
water near the sea, and I walked alone about a mile on the
other side, where I observed the country all barren and
rocky. I now began to be weary, and seeing nothing to
entertain my curiosity, I returned gently down toward the
creek; and the sea being full in my view, I saw our men
already got into the boat, and rowing for life to the ship. I was
going to holla after them, although it had been to little pur-
pose, when I observed a huge creature walking after them
in the sea, as fast as he could; he waded not much deeper
than his knees, and took prodigious strides but our men had
the start of him half a league, and the sea thereabouts being
full of sharp pointed rocks, the monster was not able to over-
take the boat. This I was afterwards told, for I durst not
stay to see the issue of the adventure, but ran as fast as I
could the way I first went and then climbed up a steep hill
which gave me some prospect of the country. I found it
fully cultivated; but that which surprised me was the length.
of the grass, which, in those grounds seemed to be kept for
hay, was about twenty feet high.
I fell into a high road, for so I took it to be, though it ser-
ved to the inhabitants only as a footpath through a field of
barley. Here I walked on for some time, but could see little
on either side, it being now near harvest, and the corn rising
at least forty feet. I was an hour walking to the end of this
180
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
field, which was fenced in with a hedge at least a hundred
and twenty feet high, and the trees so lofty that I could make
no computation of their altitude. There was a stile to pass
from this field into the next. It had four steps and a stone to
cross over when you come to the uppermost. It was impos
sible for me to climb this stile, because every step was six
feet high, and the upper stone about twenty. I was endea-
vouring to find some gap in the hedge, when I discovered one
of the inhabitants in the next field, advancing towards the
stile, of the same size with him I saw in the sea pursuing our
boat. He appeared as tall as an ordinary spire steeple, and
took about ten yards at every stride, as near as I could guess-
I was struck with the utmost fear and astonishment, and ran
to hide myself in the corn, whence I saw him at the top of
the stile looking back into the next field on the right hand,
and heard him call in a voice many degrees louder than a
speaking trumpet; but the noise was so high in the air,
that at first I certainly thought it was thunder. Whereupon
seven monsters, like himself, came towards him, with reaping
hooks in their hands, each hook about the largeness of six
scythes. These people were not so well clad as the first,
whose servants or laborers they seemed to be; for, upon some
words he spoke, they went to reap the corn in the field where
I lay. I kept from them at as great a distance as I could, but
was forced to move with extreme difficulty, for the stalks of
corn were sometimes not a foot distant, so that I could hardly
squeeze my body betwixt them. However, I made a shift to
go forward till I came to a part of the field where the corn
had been laid by rain and wind. Here it was impossible for
me to advance a step; for the stalks were so interwoven, that
I could not creep through, and the beards of the fallen ears
so strong and pointed, that they pierced through my clothes
into my flesh. At the same time I heard the reapers not
above a hundred yards behind me. Being quite dispirited
Į
A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.
181
with toil, and wholly overcome with grief and despair, I lay
down between two ridges, and heartily wished I might there
end my days. I bemoaned my desolate widow and fatherless
children. I lamented my own folly and wilfulness, in
attempting a second voyage, against the advice of all my
friends and relations. In this terrible agitation of mind, I
could not forbear thinking of Lilliput, whose inhabitants
looked upon me as the greatest prodigy that ever appeared in
the world; where I was able to draw an imperial fleet in
my hand, and perform those other actions, which will be
recorded forever in the chronicles of that empire, while pos-
terity shall hardly believe them, although attested by millions.
I reflected what a mortification it must prove to me to appear
as inconsiderable in this nation, as one single Lilliputian would
be among us. But this I conceived to be the least of my
misfortunes; for, as human creatures are observed to be more
savage and cruel in proportion to their bulk, what could I
expect but to be a morsel in the mouth of the first among
these enormous barbarians that should happen to seize me?
Undoubtedly, philosophers are in the right when they tell us
that nothing is great or little otherwise than by comparison.
It might have pleased fortune, to have let the Lilliputians
find some nation where the people were as diminutive with
respect to them, as they were to me. And who knows but
that even this prodigious race of mortals might be equally
overmatched in some distant part of the world, whereof we
have yet no discovery ?*
Scared and confounded as I was, I could not forbear going
on with these reflections, when one of the reapers approaching
within ten yards of the ridge where I lay, made me apprehend
The satire in the account of the Voyage to Lilliput is for the most part personal
but in the account of Brobdingnag the satire is general, and directed against insti-
tutions rather than individuals. There are, however, a few sarcastic hits in the
account given of the court of Brobdingnag, which bore hard on the statesmen of the
day.- Percy, Bishop of Dromore, MS.
182
GULLIVER S TRAVELS.
that with the next step I should be squashed to death under
his foot, or cut in two with his reaping hook. And therefore,
when he was again about to move, I screamed as loud as fear
could make me; whereupon the huge creature trod short,
and looking round about under him for some time, at last
espied me as I lay on the ground. He considered awhile,
with the caution of one who endeavours to lay hold on a
small dangerous animal in such a manner that it shall not be
able either to scratch or bite him, as I myself have sometimes
done with a weasel in England. At length he ventured to
take me behind, by the middle, between his fore finger and
thumb, and brought me within three yards of his eyes, that
he might behold my shape more perfectly. I guessed his
meaning, and my good fortune gave me so much presence of
mind, that I resolved not to struggle in the least as he held
me in the air above sixty feet from the ground, although he
grievously pinched my sides, for fear I should slip through
his fingers. All I ventured was to raise mine eyes towards
the sun, and place my hands together in a supplicating
posture, and to speak some words in an humble melancholy
tone, suitable to the condition I then was in; for I apprehended
every moment that he would dash me against the ground, as
we usually do any little hateful animal which we have a mind
to destroy. But my good star would have it that he appeared
pleased with my voice and gestures, and began to look upon
me as a curiosity, much wondering to hear me pronounce
articulate words, although he could not understand them. In
the mean time I was not able to forbear groaning and
shedding tears, and turning my head towards my sides;
letting him know, as well as I could, how cruelly I was hurt
by the pressure of his thumb and finger. He seemed to
apprehend my meaning; for, lifting up the lappet of his coat,
he put me gently into it, and immediately ran along with me
A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.
183
to his master, who was a substantial farmer, and the same
person I had first seen in the field.
The farmer having (as I supposed by their talk) received
such an account of me as his servant could give him, took a
piece of a small straw, about the size of a walking-staff, and
therewith lifted up the lappets of my coat; which, it seems,
he thought to be some kind of covering that nature had given.
me. He blew my hair aside to take a better view of my
face. He called his hinds about him, and asked them, as 1
afterwards learned, "Whether they had ever seen in the fields
any little creature that resembled me?" he then placed me
softly on the ground on all fours, but I immediately got up,
and walked slowly backward and forward, to let those people.
see I had no intent to run away. They all sat down in a
circle about me, the better to observe my motions. I pulled
off my hat, and made a low bow before the farmer. I fell on
my knees, and lifted up my hands and eyes, and spoke several
words as loud as I could; I took a purse of gold out of my
pocket, and humbly presented it to him. He received it on
the palm of his hand, and then applied it close to his eye to
see what it was, and afterwards turned it several times with
the point of a pin (which he took out of his sleeve), but could
make nothing of it. Whereupon I made a sign that he
should place his hand on the ground. I then took the purse,
and opening it poured all the gold into his palm. There
were six Spanish pieces of four pistoles each, besides twenty
or thirty smaller coins. I saw him wet the tip of his little
finger upon his tongue, and take up one of my largest pieces,
and then another; but he seemed to be wholly ignorant what
they were. He made me a sign to put them again into my
purse, and the purse again into my pocket, which, after offer-
ing it to him several times, I thought it best to do.
The farmer, by this time, was convinced that I must be a
rational creature. He spoke often to me; but the sound of
184
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
his voice pierced my ears like that of a water-mill, yet his
words were articulate enough. I answered as loud as I could
in several languages, and he often laid his ear within two
yards of me; but all in vain, for we were wholly unintelligible.
to each other. He then sent his servants to their work, and
taking his handkerchief out of his pocket, he doubled and
spread it on his left hand, which he placed flat on the ground
with the palm upward, making me a sign to step into it, as I
could easily do, for it was not above a foot in thickness. I
thought it my part to obey, and, for fear of falling, laid
myself at full length upon the handkerchief, with the re-
mainder of which he lapped me up to the head for further
security, and in this manner carried me home to his house.
There he called his wife, and showed me to her; but she
screamed and ran back, as women in England do at the sight
of a toad or a spider. However, when she had awhile seen
my behaviour, and how well I observed the signs her husband
made, she was soon reconciled and by degrees grew extremely
tender to me.
It was about twelve at noon, and a servant brought in
dinner. It was only one substantial dish of meat (fit for the
plain condition of a husbandman), in a dish of about four-and-
twenty feet diameter. The company were, the farmer and his
wife, three children, and an old grandmother. When they
were sat down, the farmer placed me at some distance from
him on the table, which was thirty feet high from the floor.
I was in a terrible fright, and kept as far as I could from the
edge, for fear of falling. The wife minced a bit of meat, then
crumbled some bread on a trencher, and placed it before me.
I made her a low bow, took out my knife and fork, and fell to
eat, which gave them exceeding delight. The mistress sent
her maid for a small dram cup, which held about two gallons,
and filled it with drink; I took up the vessel with much diffi-
culty in both hands, and in a most respectful manner drank to
A VOYAGE TO BROBDING NAG
185
her ladyship's health, expressing the words as loud as I could
in English, which made the company laugh so heartily that 1
was almost deafened with the noise. This liquor tasted like
a small cider, and was not unpleasant. Then the master
made me a sign to come to his trencher side; but as I walked
on the table, being at great surprise all the time, as the indul-
gent reader will easily conceive and excuse, I happened to
stumble against a crust, and fell flat on my face, but received
no hurt. I got up immediately, and observing the good
people to be in much concern, I took my hat (which I held
under my arm out of good manners), and waving it over my
head, gave three huzzas, to show I had got no mischief by
the fall. But advancing forwards towards my master (as I
shall henceforth call him), his youngest son, who sat next to
him, an arch boy of about ten years old, took me up by the
legs, and held me so high in the air that I trembled every
limb; but his father snatched me from him, and at the same
time gave him such a box on the left ear, as would have felled
an European troop of horse to the earth, ordering him to be
taken from the table. But being afraid the boy might owe
me a spite, and well remembering how miscehivous all
children among us naturally are to sparrows, rabbits, young
kittens, and puppy dogs, I fell on my knees, and pointing to
the boy, made my master to understand as well as I could,
that I desired his son might be pardoned. The father com-
plied, and the lad took his seat again, whereupon I went to
him, and kissed his hand, which my master took, and made
him stroke me gently with it.
In the midst of dinner, my mistress's favourite cat leaped
into her lap. I heard a noise behind me like that of a dozen
stocking-weavers at work; and turning my head, I found it
proceeded from the purring of that animal, who seemed to be
three times larger than an ox, as I computed by the view of
her head, and one of her paws, while her mistress was feeding
186
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
and stroking her. The fierceness of this creature's countenance
altogether discomposed me; though I stood at the farther end
of the table, above fifty feet off, and though my mistress held
her fast, for fear she might give a spring, and seize me in her
talons. But it happened there was no danger, for the cat
took not the least notice of me, when my master placed me
within three yards of her. And as I have been always told,
and found true by experience in my travels, that flying or dis-
covering fear before a fierce animal, is a certain way to make
it pursue or attack you, so I resolved, in this dangerous juno-
ture, to show no manner of concern. I walked with intrepid-
ity five or six times before the very head of the cat, and came
within half a yard of her; whereupon she drew herself back,
as if she were more afraid of me. I had less apprehension
concerning the dogs, whereof three or four came into the
room, as it is usual in farmer's houses; one of which was a
mastiff, equal in bulk to four elephants, and a greyhound
somewhat taller than the mastiff, but not so large.
When dinner was almost done, the nurse came in with a
child of a year old in her arms, who immediately spied me, and
began a squall that you might have heard from London
Bridge to Chelsea, after the usual oratory of infants, to get me
for a plaything. The mother, out of pure indulgence, took
me up, and put me towards the child, who presently seized
me by the middle, and got my head into his mouth, where I
roared so loud that the urchin was frightened, and let me
drop, and I should infallibly have broke my neck, if the
mother had not held her apron under me. The nurse, to
quiet her babe, made use of a rattle, which was a kind of hol-
low vessel filled with great stones, and fastened by a cable to
the child's waist; but all in vain; so that she was forced to
apply the last remedy by giving it suck. I must confess no
object ever disgusted me so much as the sight of her mon
strous breast, which I cannot tell what to compare with, so as
}
A VOYAGE TO BROBDING NAG.
187
to give the curious reader an ideaof its bulk, shape, and colour.
It stood prominent six feet, and could not be less than sixteen
in circumference. The nipple was about half the bigness of
my head, and the hue both of that and the dug, so varied
with spots, pimples, and freckles, that nothing could appear
more nauseous: for I had a near sight of her, she sitting
down, the more conveniently to give suck, and I standing on
the table. This made me reflect upon the fair skins of our
English ladies, who appear so beautiful to us, only because
they are of our own size, and their defects not to be seen but
through a magnifying glass; where we find by experiment,
that the smoothest and whitest skins look rough, and coarse,
and ill coloured.
I remember, when I was at Lilliput, the complexions of
those diminutive people appeared to me the fairest in the
world; and talking upon the subject with a person of learning
there, who was an intimate friend of mine, he said that my face
appeared much fairer and smoother when he looked on me
from the ground, than it did upon a nearer view, when I took
him up in my hand and brought him close, which he confessed
was at first a very shocking sight. He said "he could discover
great holes in my skin; that the stumps of my beard were
ten times stronger than the bristles of a boar, and my com-
plexion made up of several colours, altogether disagreeable ;”
although I must beg leave to say for myself, that I am as fair
as most of my sex and country, and very little sunburnt by
all my travels. On the other side, discoursing of the ladies.
in the emperor's court, he used to tell me, "one had freckles,
another too wide a mouth, a third too large a nose;" nothing
of which I was able to distinguish. I confess this reflection
was obvious enough; which, however, I could not forbear,
lest the reader might think those vast creatures were actually
deformed: for I must do them the justice to say, they are a
comely race of people; and particularly the features of my
hu
188
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
master's countenance, although he were but a farmer, when I
beheld him from the height of sixty feet, appeared very well
proportioned.
When dinner was done my master went out to his labour-
ers, and, as I could discover by his voice and gesture, gave
his wife strict charge to take care of me. I was very much
tired and disposed to sleep, which my mistress perceiving, she
put me on her own bed, and covered me with a clean white
handkerchief, but larger and coarser than the mainsail of a
man-of-war.
I slept about two hours, and dreamt I was at home with
my wife and children, which aggravated my sorrows when I
awaked,* and found myself alone, in a vast room, between two
and three hundred feet wide, and about two hundred high,
lying in a bed twenty yards wide. My mistress was gone about
her household affairs, and had locked me in. The bed was
eight yards from the floor. Some natural necessities required
me to get down. I durst not presume to call; and if I had,
it would have been in vain, with such a voice as mine, at so
great a distance as from the room where I lay to the kitchen
where the family kept. While I was under these circum-
stances, two rats crept up the curtains and ran smelling
backwards and forwards on the bed. One of them came up
almost to my face, whereupon I rose in a fright, and drew
out my hanger to defend myself. These horrible animals had
the boldness to attack me on both sides, and one of them held
his fore-foot at my collar; but I had the good fortune to rip
up his belly before he could do me any mischief. He fell
down at my feet; anhe other seeing the fate of his com-
rade, made his escape, but not without one good wound on
the back, which I gave him as he fled, and made the blood
run trickling from him. After this exploit, I walked to and
This ought to have been " awoke," the preterit of the verb neuter, not "awaked,"
the preterit of the verb active.--Sheridan.
1
A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.
189
fro on the bed, to recover breath and loss of spirits. These
creatures were about the size of a large mastiff, but infinitely
more nimble and fierce; so that if I had taken off my belt
before I went to sleep, I must have infallibly been torn to
pieces and devoured. I measured the tail of the dead rat,
and found it to be two yards long, wanting an inch; but it
went against my stomach to draw the carcass off the bed,
where it lay still bleeding. I observed it had yet some life.
but with a strong slash across the neck, I thoroughly dis-
spatched it.
Soon after, my mistress came into the room, who seeing
me all bloody, ran and took me up in her hand. I pointed
to the dead rat, smiling, and making other signs, to show
I was not hurt; whereat she was extremely rejoiced, calling
the maid to take up the dead rat with a pair of tongs, and
throw it out of the window. Then she set me on a table,
where I showed her my hanger all bloody, and wiping it on
the lappet of my coat, returned it to the scabbard. I was
pressed to do more than one thing which another could not
do for me, and therefore endeavoured to make my mistress
understand that I desired to be set down on the floor; which
after she bad done, my bashfulness would not suffer me to
express myself further, than by pointing to the door, and
bowing several times. The good woman, with much difficulty,
at last perceived what I would be at, and taking me up again.
in her hand, walked into the garden, where she set me down.
I went on one side about two hundred yards, and beckoning
to her not to look or to follow me, I hid myself between two
leaves of sorrel, and there discharged the necessities of
nature.
I hope the gentle reader will excuse me for dwelling on
those and the like particulars, which, however insignificant
they may appear to the grovelling vulgar minds, yet will
certainly help a philosopher to enlarge his thoughts and
190
GULLIVER'S 1RAVEIS,
imagination, and apply them to the benefit of public as
private life, which was my sole design in presenting this, and
other accounts of my travels, to the world; wherein I have
been chiefly studious of truth, without affecting any ornaments
of learning or of style. But the whole scene of this voyage
made so strong an impression on my mind, and is so deeply
fixed in my memory, that in committing it to paper I did not
omit one material circumstance; however, upon a strict
review, I blotted out several passages of less moment, which
were in my first copy, for fear of being censured as tedious
and trifling, whereof travellers are often, perhaps not without
iustice, accused.
•
A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.
191
CHAPTER II.
A description of the farmer's daughter-The author carried to a market town, and
then to the Metropolis-The particulars of his journey.
My mistress had a daughter of nine years old, a child of
towardly parts for her age, very dexterous at her needle, and
skilful in dressing her baby. Her mother and she contrived
to fit up a baby's cradle for me against night: the cradle was
put into a small drawer of a cabinet, and the drawer placed
upon a hanging shelf for fear of the rats. This was my bed
all the time I stayed with those people, though made more
convenient by degrees, as I began to learn their language and
make my wants known. This young girl was so handy, that
after I had once or twice pulled off my clothes before her,
she was able to dress and undress me, though I never gave
her that trouble when she would let me do either myself,
She made me seven shirts, and some other linen, of as fine
cloth as could be got, which indeed was coarser than sack-
cloth; and these she constantly washed for me with her own
hands. She was likewise my school-mistress, to teach me the
language; when I pointed to any thing, she told me the name
of it in her own tongue, so that in a few days I was able to
call for whatever I had a mind to. She was very good-
natured, and not above forty feet high, being little for her
age. She gave me the name of Grildrig, which the family
took up, and afterwards the whole kingdom. The word
imports what the Latins call nanunculus, the Italian
192
GULLIVER S TRAVEL E,
homunceletino, and the English manikin. To her I chiefly
owe my preservation in that country; we never parted while
I was there; I called her my Glumdalclitch, or little nurse
and should be guilty of great ingratitude, if I omitted his
honourable mention of her care and affection towards me,
which I heartily wish it lay in my power to requite as she
deserves, instead of being the innocent, but unhappy instrument
of her disgrace, as I have too much reason to fear.
It now began to be known and talked of in the neighbour-
hood, that my master had found a strange animal in the field,
about the bigness of a splacnuck, but exactly shaped in every
part like a human creature; which it also imitated in all its
actions; seemed to speak in a little language of his own, had
already learned several words of theirs, went erect upon two
legs, was tame and gentle, would come when it was called, do
whatever it was bid, had the finest limbs in the world, and a
complexion fairer than a nobleman's daughter of three years
old. Another farmer, who lived hard by, and was a particu-
lar friend of my master, came on a visit on purpose to inquire
into the truth of this story. I was immediately produced,
and placed upon a table, where I walked as I was commanded,
drew my hanger, put it up again, made my reverence to my
master's guest, asked him in his own language how he did,
and told him he was welcome, just as my little nurse had
instructed me. This man, who was old and dim-sighted, put
on his spectacles to behold me better; at which I could
not forbear laughing very heartily, for his eyes appeared like
the full moon shining into a chamber at two windows. Our
people, who discovered the cause of my mirth, bore me com-
pany in laughing, at which the old fellow was fool enough to
be angry, and out of countenance. He had the character
of a great miser; and, to my misfortune, he well deserved it,
by the cursed advice he gave my master, to show me as a
sight upon a market-day in the next town, which was half an
A VOYAGE TO BROBDING NAG.
193
hour's riding, about two and twenty miles from our house. I
guessed there was some mischief contriving, when I observed
my master and his friend whispering long together, sometimes.
pointing at me; and my fears made me fancy that I overheard
and understood some of their words. But the next morning
Glumdalclitch, my little nurse, told me the whole matter, whch
she bad cunningly picked out of her mother. The poor girl
laid me on her bosom, and fell a-weeping with shame and
grief. She apprehended some mischief would happen to
me from rude vulgar folks, who might squeeze me to death,
or break one of my limbs by taking me in their hands.
She had also observed how modest I was in my nature, how
nicely I regarded my honour, and what an indignity I should
conceive it to be exposed for money as a public spectacle to
the meanest of the people. She said, her papa and mamma
had promised that Grildrig should be hers; but now she
found they meant to serve her as they did last year, when
they pretended to give her a lamb, and yet, as soon as it was
fat, sold it to a butcher. For my own part I may truly affirm,
that I was less concerned than my nurse.
I had a strong
hope, which never left me, that I should one day recover my
liberty; and as to the ignominy of being carried about for a
monster, I considered myself to be a perfect stranger in the
country, and that such a misfortune could never be charged
upon me as a reproach, if ever I should return to England;
since the king of Great Britain himself, in my condition, must
have undergone the same distress.
My master, pursuant to the advice of his friend, carried me
in a box the next market-day to the neighbouring town, and
took along with him his little daughter, my nurse, upon a
pillion behind him. The box was close on every side, with a
little door for me to go in and out, and a few gimlet holes to
let in air. The girl had been so careful as to put the quilt
of her baby's bed into it, for me to lie down on. However,
9
194
बेण
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
I was terribly shaken and discomposed in this journey, though
it were* but of half an hour, for the horse went about forty
feet at every step, and trotted so high, that the agitation was
equal to the rising and falling of a ship in a great storm, but
much more frequent. Our journey was somewhat farther
than from London to St. Albans. My master alighted at an
inn which he used to frequent; and after consulting awhile
with the inkeeper, and making some necessary preparations,
he hired the grultrud, or crier, to give notice through the
town, of a strange creature to be seen at the sign of the
Green Eagle, not so big as a splacnuck (an animal in that
country very finely shaped, about six feet long), and in every
part of the body resembling a human creature, could speak
several words, and perform a hundred diverting tricks.
I was placed upon a table in the largest room of the inn,
which might be near three hundred feet square. My little
nurse stood on a low stool close to the table, to take care of
me, and direct what I should do. My master, to avoid a
crowd, would suffer only thirty people at a time to see me.
I walked about on the table as the girl commanded: she
asked me questions, as far as she knew my understanding of
the language reached, and I answered them as loud as I could
I turned about several times to the company, paid my humb
respects, said they were welcome, and used some other speeches.
I had been taught. I took up a thimble filled with liquor,
which Glumdalelitch had given me for a cup, and drank their
health. I drew out my hanger, and flourished with it after
the manner of fencers in England. My nurse gave me a part
of a straw, which I exercised as a pike, having learnt the art
in my youth. I was that day shown to twelve sets of com-
pany, and as often forced to act over again the same fopperies,
till I was half dead with weariness and vexation; for those
The subjunctive mood is improperly used here; it should have been the indicative
"though it was," instead of "though it were.”—Sheridan.
A VOYAGE TO BROBDING NAG.
195
who had seen me made such wonderful reports, that the
people were ready to break down the doors to come in.*
My master, for his own interest, would not suffer any one to
[ touch me except my nurse; and to prevent danger, benches
were set round the table at such a distance as to put me out
of everybody's reach. However, an unlucky school-boy aimed
a hazel-nut directly at my head, which very narrowly missed
me; otherwise it came with so much violence, that it would
infallibly knocked out my brains, for it was almost as large
as a small pumpion; but I had the satisfactioh to see the
young rogue well beaten, and turned out of the room.
My master gave public notice that he would show me again
the next market-day; and in the mean time he prepared a
more convenient vehicle for me, which he had reason enough
to do; for I was so tired with my first journey, and with
entertaining company for eight hours together, that I could
hardly stand upon my legs, or speak a word. It was at least
three days before I recovered my strength; and that I might
have no rest at home, all the neighbouring gentlemen from
a hundred miles round, hearing of my fame, came to see mo
at my master's own house. There could not be fewer than
thirty persons, with their wives and children (for the country
is very populous); and my master demanded the rate of a
full room whenever he showed me at home, although it were
only to a single family; so that for some time, I had but little
ease every every day of the week (except Wednesday, which
is their Sabbath), although I was not carried to the town.
My master finding how profitable I was likely to be, re-
solved to carry me to the most considerable cities of the
The passion for shows and sight-seeing was never at a greater height in
England thar during the reign of George I.; and the wags of the day derived great
amusement from practising on the credulity of the people. Immense crowds
assembled to see a man creep into a quart bottle, and when they discovered that
they had been deceived, were near destroying the house in their rage. Swift's
works contain several amusing parodies of the puffing placards in which these
exhibitions were announced.
196
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
kingdom. Having, therefore, provided himself with all things
necessary for a long journey, and settled his affairs at home,
he took leave of his wife, and upon the 17th of August, 1703,
about two months after my arrival, we set out for the metro-
polis, situate near the middle of that empire, and about three
thousand miles' distance from our house. My master made
his daughter Glumdalclitch ride behind him. She carried
me on her lap, in a box tied about her waist. The girl had
lined it on all sides with the softest cloth she could get, well
quilted underneath, furnished it with her baby's bed, provided
me with linen and other necessaries, and made every thing
as convenient as she could. We had no other company but
a boy of the house, who rode after us with the luggage.
My master's design was to show me in all the towns by
the way, and to step out of the road, for fifty or a hundred
miles, to any village or person of quality's house, where he
might expect custom. We made easy journeys, of not above
seven or eight score miles a-day; for Glumdalclitch, on pur-
pose to spare me, complained she was tired with the trotting
of the horse. She often took me out of my box, at my own
desire, to give me air, and show me the country, but always
held me fast by a leading-string. We passed over five or six
rivers, many degrees broader and deeper than the Nile or
the Ganges; and there was hardly a rivulet so small as the
Thames at London Bridge. We were ten weeks in our
journey, and I was shown in eighteen large towns, besides
many villages, and private families.
On the 26th day of October we arrived at the metropolis,
called in their language Lorbrulgrud, or Pride of the
Universe. My master took a lodging in the principal street
of the city, not far from the royal palace, and put out
bills in the usual form, containing an exact description of my
person and parts. He hired a large room between three and
four hundred feet wide. He provided a table sixty feet in
A VOYAGE TO BROBDING NAG.
197
diameter, upon which I was to act my part, and palisadoed
it round three feet from the edge, and as many high, to prevent
my falling over. I was shown ten times a day, to the wonder
and satisfaction of all people. I could now speak the lan-
guage tolerably well, and perfectly understood every word that
was spoken to me. Besides, I had learnt their alphabet, and
could make shift to explain a sentence here and there; for
Glumdalclitch had been my instructor while we were at home,
and at leisure hours during our journey. She carried a little
book in her pocket, not much larger than a Sanson's Atlas;
it was a common treatise for the use of young girls, giving
a short account of their religion; out of this she taught me
my letters, and interpreted the words.
198
GULLIVER 8 TRAVELS.
CHAPTER III.
The author sent for to court-The queen buys him of his master the farmer, and
presents him to the king-He dispates with his majesty's great scholars-An
apartment at court provided for the author-He is in high favour with the queen
-He stands up for the honour of his own country-His quarrels with the queen's
dwarf.
LABOURS such as I underwent every day, made, in a few
weeks, a very considerable change in my health; the more
my master got by me the more insatiable he grew. I had
quite lost my stomach, and was almost reduced to a skeleton.
The farmer observed it, and concluding I must soon die,
resolved to make as good a hand of me as he could. While
he was thus reasoning and resolving with himself, a sardral,
or gentleman-usher, came from court, commanding my master
to carry me immediately thither for the diversion of the queen
and her ladies. Some of the latter had already been to see
me, and reported strange things of my beauty, behaviour, and
good sense. Her majesty, and those who attended her, were
beyond measure delighted with my demeanour. I fell on my
knees, and begged the honour of kissing her imperial foot;
but this gracious princess held out her little finger towards me,
after I was set on the table, which I embraced in both my
arms, and put the tip of it with the utmost respect to my lip.
She made me some general questions about my country and
my travels, which I answered as distinctly, and in as few words
as I could. She asked "whether I would be content to live at
court?" I bowed down to the board of the table, and humblv
A VOYAGE TO BROBDING NAG. 199
answered, "that I was my master's slave; but if I were at my
own disposal, I should be proud to devote my life to her
majesty's service." She then asked my master, "whether he
was willing to sell me at a good price?" He, who appre-
hended I could not live a month, was ready enough to part
with me, and demanded a thousand pieces of gold, which
were ordered him on the spot, each piece being about the
bigness of eight hundred moidores; but allowing for the pro-
portion of all things between that country and Europe, and
the high price of gold among them, was hardly so great a sum
as a thousand guineas would be in England. I then said to the
queen, “since I was now her majesty's most humble creature
and vassal, I must beg the favour that Glumdalclitch, who
had always tended me with so much care and kindness, and
understood to do it so well, might be admitted into her service,
and continue to be my nurse and instructor."
Her majesty agreed to my petition, and easily got the
farmer's consent, who was glad enough to have his daughter
preferred at court, and the poor girl herself was not able to
bide her joy. My late master withdrew, bidding me farewell,
and saying he had left me in a good service; to which I
replied not a word, only making him a slight bow.
The queen observed my coldness, and, when the farmer
was gone out of the apartment, asked me the reason. I made
bold to tell her majesty, "that I owed no other obligation to
my late master, than his not dashing out the brains of a poor
harmless creature found by chance in his fields, which obliga-
tion was amply recompensed by the gain he had made in show-
ing me through half the kingdom, and the price he had now
sold me for. That the life I had since led, was laborious enough
to kill an animal of ten times my strength. That my health
was much impaired by the continual drudgery of entertaining
the rabble every hour of the day; and that, if my master had
not thought my life in danger, her majesty would not have
200
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
got so cheap a bargain. But as I was out of all fear of being
ill-treated, under the protection of so great and good an
empress, the ornament of nature, the darling of the world, the
delight of her subjects, the phoenix of the creation; so I hoped
my late master's apprehensions would appear to be groundless;
for I already found my spirits revive, by the influence of her
most august presence."
This was the sum of my speech, delivered with great impro-
prieties and hesitation. The latter part was altogether framed
in the style peculiar to that people, whereof I learned some
phrases from Glumdalclitch, while she was carrying me to
court.
The queen, giving great allowance for my defectiveness, in
speaking, was, however, surprised at so much wit and good
sense in so diminutive an animal. She took me in her own
hand, and carried me to the king, who was then retired to his
cabinet. His majesty, a prince of much gravity and austere
countenance, not observing my shape at first view, asked the
queen, after a cold manner, "how long it was since she grew
fond of a splacnuck?" for such it seems he took me to be, as
I lay upon my breast in her majesty's hand. But this princess,
who has an infinite deal of wit and humor, set me gently on
my feet upon the scrutoire, and commanded me to give his
majesty an account of myself, which I did in a very few
words, and Glumdalclitch, who attended at the cabinet door,
and could not endure I should be out of her sight, being
admitted, confirmed all that had passed from my arrival at
her father's house.
The king, although he be as learned a person as any in his
dominions, had been educated in the study of philosophy, and
particularly mathematics; yet when he observed my shape
exactly, and saw me walk erect, before I began to speak, con-
ceived I might be a piece of clock-work (which is in that
country arrived to a very great perfection) contrived by some
A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.
201
ingenious artist. But when he heard my voice, and found
what I delivered to be regular and rational, he could not con-
ceal his astonishment. He was by no means satisfied with
the relation I gave him of the manner I came into his king-
dom, but thought it a story concerted between Glumdalelitch
and her father, who had taught me a set of words to make
me sell at a better price. Upon this imagination, he put
several other questions to me, and still received rational
answers, no otherwise defective than by a foreign accent, and
an imperfect knowledge in the language, with some rustic
phrases which I had learned at the farmer's house, and did not
suit the polite style of a court.
His majesty sent for three great scholars, who were then in
the weekly waiting, according to the custom of that country.
These gentlemen, after they had awhile examined my shape
with much nicety, were of different opinions concerning me.
They all agreed that I could not be produced according to the
regular laws of nature, because I was not framed with a capa-
city of preserving my life, either by swiftness, or climbing of
trees, or digging holes in the earth. They observed by ny
teeth, which they viewed with great exactness, that I was a car-
nivorous animal; yet most quadrupeds being an overmatch for
me, and field mice, with some others, too nimble, they could
not imagine how I should be able to support myself unless I
fed upon snails and other insects; which they offered, by
many learned arguments,* to evince that I could not possibly
do. One of these virtuosi seemed to think that I might be an
embryo, or abortive birth. But this opinion was rejected by
the other two, who observed my limbs to be perfect and fin
ished, and that I had lived several years, as it was manifest
By this reasoning the author probably intended to ridicule the pride of thos
philosophers, who have thought fit to arraign the wisdom of Providence in the crea-
tion and government of the world; whose cavils are specious, like those of the
Brobdingnagian sages only in proportion to the ignorance of those to whom they
are proposed.-Harckesworth.
9*
202
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
from my beard, the stumps whereof they plainly discovered
through a magnifying-glass. They would not allow me to be
a dwarf, because my littleness was beyond all degrees of com-
parison; for the queen's favourite dwarf, the smallest ever
known in that kingdom, was near thirty feet high. After
much debate, they concluded unanimously that I was only
relplum scalclath, which is interpreted literally lusus naturæ ;
a determination exactly agreeable to the modern philosophy
of Europe, whose professors, disdaining the old evasion of
occult causes, whereby the followers of Aristotle endeavoured
in vain to disguise their ignorance, have invented this wonder-
ful solution of all difficulties, to the unspeakable advancement
of human knowledge.
After this decisive conclusion, I entreated to be heard a
word or two. I applied myself to the king, and assured his
majesty, "that I came from a country which abounded with
several millions of both sexes, and of my own stature; where
the animals, trees, and houses, were all in proportion, and
where, by consequence, I might be as able to defend myself
and to find sustenance, as any of his majesty's subjects could do
here; which I took for a full answer to those gentlemen's
arguments." To this they only replied with a smile of con-
tempt, saying, "that the farmer had instructed me very well
in my lesson." The king, who had a much better under-
standing, dismissing his learned men, sent for the farmer, who
by good fortune was not yet gone out of town. Having,
therefore, first examined him privately, and then confronted
him with me and the young girl, his majesty began to think
"1
*This satire is levelled against all who reject those facts for which they cannot
perfectly acount, notwithstanding the absurdity of rejecting the testimony by whicn
they are supported.—Iarkesworth.
† Sir Walter Scott thinks that Swift has designedly introduced some traits a
William III.'s character in the sketch of the king of Brobdingnag; but if any thing
more than the ideal of a patriot monarch is designed, it is probable that the Dean
had an eye to the Prince of Wales, afterwards George II., from whom the tories had
formed favorable anticipations.
A VOYAGE TO BROBDING NAG.
203
that what we told him might possibly be true. He desired
the queen to order that a particular care should be taken of
me; and was of opinion that Glumdalelitch should still
continue in her office of tending me, because he observed we
had a great affection for each other. A convenient apartment
was provided for her at court; she had a sort of governess
appointed to take care of her education, a maid to dress her,
and two other servants for menial offices; but the care of
me was wholly appropriated to herself. The queen com-
manded her own cabinetmaker to contrive a box, that might
serve me for a bed-chamber, after the model that Glumdal-
clitch and I should agree upon. This man was a most
ingenious artist, and according to my direction, in three
weeks, finished for me a wooden chamber of sixteen feet
square, and twelve high, with sash windows, a door and two
closets, like a London bed-chamber. The board, that made
the ceiling, was to be lifted up and down by two hinges, to
put in a bed ready furnished by her majesty's upholsterer,
which Glumdalelitch took out every day to air, made it with
her own hands, and letting it down at night, locked up the
roof over me. A nice workman, who was famous for little
curiosities, undertook to make me two chairs, with backs and
frames of a substance not unlike ivory, and two tables with
a cabinet to put my things in. The room was quilted on all
sides, as well as the floor and ceiling, to prevent any accident
from the carelessness of those who carried me, and to break
the force of a jolt, when I went in a coach. I desired a lock
for my door, to prevent rats and mice from coming in. The
smith, after several attempts, made the smallest that ever was
seen among them, for I have known a larger at the gate of a
gentleman's house in England.* I made a shift to keep the
Swift's frequent references to proportions, both here and in the Voyage to Lilli-
put, give an air of probability to his story which none of his imitators have beer
able to attain.
15
A
204
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS
.8.
key in a pocket of my own, fearing Glumdalclitch might lose
it. The queen likewise ordered the thinnest silks that could
be gotten, to make me clothes, not much thicker thar an
English blanket, very cumbersome till I was accustomed to
them. They were after the fashion of the kingdom, partly
resembling the Persian, and partly the Chinese, and are a
very grave and decent habit.
on.
The queen became so fond of my company, that she could
not dine without me. I had a table placed upon the same at
which her majesty eat, just at her elbow, and a chair to sit
Glumdalclitch stood on a stool on the floor near my
table, to assist and take care of me. I had an entire set of
silver dishes and plates, and other necessaries, which, in pro-
portion to those of the queen, were not much bigger than
what I have seen in a London toy-shop, for the furniture of a
baby-house these my little nurse kept in her pocket in a
silver box, and gave me at meals as I wanted them, always
cleaning them herself. No person dined with the queen but
the two princesses royal, the elder sixteen years old, and the
younger at that time thirteen and a month. Her majesty
used to put a bit of meat upon one of my dishes, out of which
I carved for myself, and her diversion was to see me eat in
miniature; for the queen (who had indeed but a weak
stomach) took up, at one mouthful, as much as a dozen
English farmers could eat at a meal, which to me was for some
time a very nauseous sight. She would craunch the wing of
a lark, bones and all, between her teeth, although it were nino
times as large as that of a full-grown turkey; and put a bit
of bread in her mouth, as big as two twelvepenny-loaves.
She drank out of a golden cup, above a hogshead at a draught.
Her knives were twice as long as a scythe set straight upon
the handle. The spoons, forks, and other instruments, were
all in the same proportion. I remember when Glumdalclitch
carried me, ou' of curiosity, to see some of the tables at court,
A VOYAGE TO BROBDING NAG. 205
where ten or a dozen of those enormous knives and forks were
lifted up together, I thought I had never till then beheld sc
terrible a sight.
It is the custom, that every Wednesday (which, as I have
observed, is their sabbath), the king and queen, with the royal
issue of both sexes, dine together in the apartment of his
majesty, to whom I was now become a great favourite; and
at these times, my little chair and table were placed at his
left hand, before one of his salt-cellars. This prince took a
pleasure in conversing with me, inquiring into the manners,
religion, laws, government, and learning of Europe, wherein I
gave him the best account I was able. His apprehension was
so clear, and his judgment so exact, that he made very wise
reflections and observations upon all I said. But I confess,
that after I had been a little too copious in talking of my own
beloved country, of our trade and wars by sea and land, of
our schisms in religion, and parties in the state, the prejudices
of his education prevailed so far, that he could not forbear
taking me up in his right hand, and, stroking me gently with
the other, after a hearty fit of laughing, asked me whether I
was a whig or tory? Then turning to his first minister, who
waited behind him with a white staff, near as tall as the main-
mast of the Royal Sovereign, he observed, "how contempti-
ble a thing was human grandeur which could be mimicked
by such diminutive insects as I; and yet," says he, “I dare
engage these creatures have their titles and distinctions of
honour; they contrive little nests and burrows, that they call
houses and cities; they make a figure and dress in equipage;
they love, they fight, they dispute, they cheat, they betray."
And thus he continued on, while my colour came and went
several times, with indignation, t› hear our noble country, the
mistress of arts and arms, the scourge of France, the arbitress
of Europe, the seat of virtue, piety, honour, and truth, the
pride and envy of the world, so contemptuously treated.*
These boasts, which have been the common-places of party duri .g the last twe
206
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
But as I was not in a condition to resent injuries, so upcr
mature thoughts I began to doubt whether I was injured
or no.* For, after having been accustomed several months to
the sight and converse of this people, and observed every
object upon which I cast mine eyes to be of proportionable
magnitude, the horror I had at first conceived from their bulk
and aspect, was so far worn off, that if I had then beheld a
company of English lords and ladies in their finery and birth-
day clothes, acting their several parts in the most courtly.
manner of strutting, and bowing, and prating; to say the
truth, I should have been strongly tempted to laugh as much
at them, as the king and his grandees did at me. Neither,
indeed, could I forbear smiling at myself, when the queen
used to place me upon her band towards a looking-glass, by
which both our persons appeared before me in full view
together; and there could be nothing more ridiculous than
the comparison; so that I really began to imagine myself
dwindled many degrees below my usual size.
Nothing angered and mortified me so much as the queen's
dwarf; who, being of the lowest stature that was ever in that
country (for I verily think he was not full thirty feet high),
became so insolent at seeing a creature so much beneath him,
that he would always affect to swagger and look big as he
passed by me in the queen's antechamber, while I was stand-
ing on some table talking with the lords or ladies of the court,
and he seldom failed of a smart word or two upon my little-
ness; against which I could only revenge myself by calling
him brother, challenging him to wrestle, and such repartees
centuries, are rendered supremely ridiculous by their contrast with the speech of
the king of Brobdingnag.
*"Whether I was injured or no."-This vulgar and ungrammatical mode of
expression has become almost universal; but instead of "no" the particle “not"
should be used. The absurdity of the former will appear by only repeating the
word to which it refers, and annexing to it, as thus-"whether I were injured, or
no injured," whereas, whether I were injured, or not injured, is good grammar
--Sheridan.
A VOYAGE TO CROBDING NAG. 207
as are usually in the mouths of court pages. One day at
diuner, this malicious little cub was so nettled with something
I had said to him, that, raising himself upon the frame of her
majesty's chair, he took me up by the middle, as I was sitting
down, not thinking any harm, and let me drop into a large
silver bowl of cream, and then ran away as fast as he could.
I fell over head and ears, and if I had not been a good
swimmer it might have gone very hard with me; for Glum-
dalclitch in that instant happened to be at the other end of
the room, and the queen was in such a fright that she wanted
presence of mind to assist me. But my little nurse ran to
my relief, and took me out, after I had swallowed above a
quart of cream. I was put to bed; however I received no
other damage than the loss of a suit of clothes, which was
utterly spoiled. The dwarf was soundly whipped, and as a
farther punishment, forced to drink up the bowl of cream into
which he had thrown me; neither was he ever restored to
favor; for soon after the queen bestowed him on a lady of
high quality, so that I saw him no more, to my very great
satisfaction; for I could not tell to what extremity such a
malicious urchin might have carried his resentment.
He had before served me a scurvy trick, which set the
queen a-laughing, although at the same time she was heartily
vexed, and would have immediately cashiered him, if I had
not been so generous as to intercede. Her majesty had
taken a marrow-bone upon her plate, and, after knocking
out the marrow, placed the bone again on the dish erect, as
it stood before; the dwarf, watching his opportunity, while
Glumdalclitch was gone to the sideboard, mounted the stool
that she stood on to take care of me at meals, took me up in
both hands, and squeezing my legs together, wedged them
into the marrow bone above my waist, where I stuck for some
time, and made a very ridiculous figure. I believe it was
near a minute before any one knew what was become of me ·
208
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
for I thought it below me to cry out. But, as princes seld¬ın
get their meat hot, my legs were not scalded, only my stock
ings and breeches in a sad condition. The dwarf, at my
entreaty, had no other punishment than a sound whipping.
I was frequently rallied by the queen upon account of my
fearfulness; and she used to ask me whether the people of
my country were as great cowards as myself? The occasion
was this; the kingdom is much pestered with flies in summer;
and these odious insects, each of them as big as a Dunstable
lark, hardly gave me any rest while I sat at dinner, with their
continual humming and buzzing about mine ears. They
would sometimes alight upon my victuals, and leave their
loathsome excrement or spawn behind, which to me was very
visible, though not to the natives of that country, whose
larger optics were not so acute as mine in viewing smaller
objects. Sometimes they would fix upon my nose or fore-
head, where they stung me to the quick, smelling very offen-
sively; and I could easily trace that viscous matter, which,
our naturalists tell us, enables those creatures to walk with
their feet upwards upon a ceiling. I had much ado to defend
myself against these detestable animals, and could not forbear
starting when they came on my face. It was the common
practice of the dwarf, to catch a number of these insects in
his hand, as school-boys do among us, and let them out sud-
denly under my nose, on purpose to frighten me, and divert
the queen. My remedy was to cut them in pieces with my
knife, as they flew in the air, wherein my dexterity was much
admired.
I remember one morning, when Glumdalclitch had set me
in a box upon a window, as she usually did in fair days to
give me air (for I durst not venture to let the box be hung
on a nail out of the window, as we do with cages in England)
after I had lifted up one of my sashes, and sat down at my
table to eat a piece of sweet cake for my breakfast, abc ve
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
209
twenty wasps, allured by the smell, came flying into the
room, humming louder than the drones of as many bagpipes
Some of them seized my cake, and carried it piece-meal away ;
others flew about my head and face, confounding me with
the noise, and putting me in the utmost terror of their stings.
However, I had the courage to rise and draw my hanger, and
attack them in the air. I despatched four of them, but the
rest got away, and I presently shut my window. These
insects were as large as partridges; I took out their stings,
found them an inch and a half long, and as sharp as needles.
I carefully preserved them all; and having since shown them,
with some other curiosities, in several parts of Europe; upon
my return to England I gave three of them to Gresham
College, and kept the fourth for myself.
210
GULLIVER'S TRAVEIS.
CHAPTER IV.
The country described-A proposal for correcting modern maps-The king's parace,
and some account of the metropolis-The author's way of travelling-The ci ef
temple described.
JOURNEYS with Glumdalelitch having given me some know-
ledge of the country, I now intend to give the reader a short
description of it, as far as I travelled, which was not above
two thousand iniles round Lorbrulgrud, the metropolis. For
the queen, whom I always attended, never went farther when
she accompanied the king in his progress, and there stayed
til his majesty returned from viewing his frontiers. The
whole extent of this prince's dominions reaches about six
thousand miles in length, and from three to five in breadth;
whence I cannot but conclude, that our geographers of
Europe are in a great erior, by supposing nothing but sea
between Japan and California; for it was ever my opinion,
that there must be a balance of earth to counterpoise the
great continent of Tartary; and therefore they ought to
correct their maps and charts, by joining this vast tract of
land to the north-west parts of America, wherein I shall be
ready to lend them my assistance.
The kingdom is a peninsula, terminated to the north-east
by a ridge of mountains thirty miles high, which are altogether
impassable, by reason of the volcanoes upon the tops: neither
do the most learned know what sort of mortals inhabit beyond
those mountains, or whether they be inhabited at all. On
"
A VOYAGE TO BROBDING NAG.
211
the three other sides, it is bounded by the ocean. There is
not one seaport in the whole kingdom; and those parts of
the coasts into which the rivers issue, are so full of pointed
rocks, and the sea generally so rough, that there is no ventur-
ing with the smallest of their boats; so that these people are
wholly excluded from any commerce with the rest of the
world.* But the large rivers are full of vessels, and abound
with excellent fish: for they seldom get any from the sea,
because the sea-fish are of the same size with those in
Europe, and consequently not worth catching; whereby it is
manifest, that nature, in the production of plants and animals
of so extraordinary a bulk, is wholly confined to this con-
tinent, of which I leave the reasons to be determined by
philosophers. However, now and then they take a whale
that happens to be dashed against the rocks, which the com-
mon people feed on heartily. These whales I have known
so large, that a man could hardly carry one upon his
shoulders; and sometimes, for curiosity, they are brought in
hampers to Lorbrulgrud: I saw one of them in a dish at the
king's table, which passed for a rarity, but I did not observe
he was fond of it; for I think, indeed, the bigness disgusted
him, although I have seen one somewhat larger in Green-
land.
The country is well inhabited, for it contains fifty-one cities,
near a hundred walled towns, and a great number of villages.
*This description of a sea that could not be safely navigated appears to have
been taken from that veracious traveller, Sir J. Mandeville. "From the land of
Bactry, men go many days' journey to the land of Prester John, that is a great
emperor of Inde; and men call his land the yle of Pantoxore,
There are
many places in the sea where are many rockes of a stone that is called adamand,
the which of his own kinde draweth all manner of yron, and therefore there may
be no ships that hath yron nayles pass but it draweth them to him, and there-
fore they dare not go into that country with ships for fear of adamand. I went
once into that sea, and saw along as it had been a great yle of trees stockes and
Eranches growinge, and the shipman told me that those were of greate shippes that
abode there through the vertue of the adamandes, and of things that were in the
shippes, whereof those trees sprung and waxed."
•
•
212
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
To satisfy my curious reader, it may be sufficient to describe
Lorbrulgrud. This city stands upon almost two equal parts,
on each side the river that passses through. It contains above
eighty thousand houses, and about six hundred thousand
inhabitants. It is length three glomglungs (which make about
fifty-four English miles), and two and a half in breadth; as I
measured it myself in the royal map made by the king's
order, which was laid on the ground on purpose for me, and
extended a hundred feet: I paced the diameter and circum-
ference several times barefoot, and computing by the scale
measured it pretty exactly.
The king's palace is no regular edifice, but a heap of build-
ing about seven miles round: the chief rooms are generally
two hundred and forty feet high, and broad and long in pro-
portion. A coach was allowed to Glumdalclitch and me,
wherein her governess frequently took her out to see the town
or go among the shops; and I was always of the party, car-
ried in my box; although the girl, at my own desire, would
often take me out and hold me in her hand, that I might
more conveniently view the houses and the people, as we
passed along the streets. I reckoned our coach to be about a
square of Westminister Hall, but not altogether so high:
however, I cannot be very exact. One day the governess
ordered our coachman to stop at several shops, where the
beggars, watching their opportunity, crowded to the sides of
the coach, and gave me the most horrible spectacle that ever
an European eye beheld. There was a woman with a cancer
in her breast, swelled to a monstrous size, full of holes, in two
or three of which I could have easily crept, and covered my
whole body. There was a fellow with a wen on his neck,
larger than five woollen packs; and another with a couple of
wooden legs, each about twenty feet high. But the most
hateful sight of all was the lice crawling on their clothes. I
could see distinctly the limbs of these vermin with my naked
A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.
213
eye, much better than those of a European louse through a
microscope, and their snouts with which they rooted like
swine. They were the first I had ever beheld, and I should
have been curious enough to dissect one of them, if I had had
proper instruments, which I unluckily left behind me in the
ship, although, indeed, the sight was so nauseous that it per-
fectly turned my stomach.
Besides the large box in which I was usually carried, the
queen ordered a smaller one to be made for ine, of about
twelve feet square, and ten high, for the convenience of travel-
ling; because the other was somewhat too large for Glum-
dalclitch's lap, and cumbersome in the coach, it was made by
the same artist, whom I directed in the whole contrivance.
This travelling closet was an exact square, with a window in
the middle of three of the squares, and each window was lat-
ticed with iron wire on the outside, to prevent accidents in
long journeys. On the fourth side, which had no window,
two strong staples were fixed, through which the person
hat carried me, when I had a mind to be on horseback, put
leathern belt and buckled it about his waist. This was
always the office of some grave trusty servant, in whom I
could confide, whether I attended the king and queen in their
progresses, or were disposed to see the gardens, or pay a
visit to some great lady or minister of state in the court, when
Glumdalelitch happened to be out of order; for I soon began
to be known and esteemed among the greatest officers, I sup-
pose more upon account of their majesties' favour, than any
merit of my own. In journeys, when I was weary of the
coach, a servant on horseback would buckle on my box, and
place it upon a cushion before him; and there I had a full
prospect of the country on three sides, from my three windows.
I had, in this closet, a field-bed, and a hammock hung frem
the ceiling, two chairs, and a table, neatly screwed to the
floor, to prevent being tossed about by the agitation of the
214
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
horse, or the coach. And having been long used to sea
voyages, those motions, although sometimes very violent, did
not much discompose me.
Whenever I had a mind to see the town, it was always in
my travelling closet: which Glumdalclitch held in her lap
ir a kind of open sedan, after the fashion of the country,
borne by four men, and attended by two others in
the queen's livery. The people, who had often heard of me,
were very curious to crowd about the sedan, and the girl was
complaisant enough to make the bearers stop, and to take me
in her hand that I might be more conveniently seen.
I was very desirous to see the chief temple, and particularly
the tower belonging to it, which is reckoned the highest in
the kingdom. Accordingly, one day my nurse carried me
thither, but I may truly say I came back disappointed; for
the height is not above three thousand feet, reckoning from
the ground to the highest pinnacle top; which, allowing for
the difference between the size of those people and us in
Europe, is no great matter for admiration, nor at all equal
in proportion (if I rightly remember) to Salisbury steeple.
But, not to detract from a nation, to which, during my life
I shall acknowledge myself extremely obliged, it must be
allowed, that whatever this famous tower wants in height, is
imply made up in beauty and strength; for the walls are
near a hundred feet thick, built of hewn stone, whereof each
is about forty feet square, and adorned on all sides with
statues of gods and emperors, cut in marble, larger than the
life, placed in their several niches. I measured a little finger
which had fallen down from one of these statues, and lay
unperceived among some rubbish, and found it exactly four
feet and an inch in length.* Glumdalclitch wrapped it up
* Had Swift seen the colossal statuary of ancient Egypt, he would have found
that it rivalled the Imaginary sculpture of Brobdingnag. Belzoni has given the
exact dimensions of the four stupendous figures which are seated side by side in
front of the excavated temple of Ipsambul; each of them, though seated, measures
A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.
215
in her handkerchief, and carried it home in her pocket, to
keep among other trinkets, of which the girl was very fond,
as children at her age usually are.
The king's kitchen is, indeed, a noble building, vaulted at
top, and about six hundred feet high. The great oven is not
so wide, by ten paces, as the cupola at St. Paul's; for I
measured the latter on purpose, after my return. But if 1
should describe the kitchen grate, the prodigious pots and
kettles, the joints of meat turning on the spits, with many
cther particulars, perhaps I should be hardly believed; at
least a severe critic would be apt to think I enlarged a little,
as travellers are often suspected to do. To avoid which cen-
sure, I fear I have run too much into the other extreme, and
that if this treatise should happen to be translated into the
language of Brobdingnag (which is the general name of that
kingdom), and transmitted thither, the king and his people
would have reason to complain that I had done them an injury,
by a false and diminutive representation.*
His majesty seldom keeps above six hundred horses in his
stables; they are generally from fifty-four to sixty feet high.
But, when he goes abroad on solemn days, he is attended, for
state, by a militia guard of five hundred horse, which, indeed,
I thought was the most splendid sight that could be ever
beheld, till I saw part of his army in battalia, whereof I shall
find another occasion to speak.
sixty-four feet from the ground to the top of the cap: the arm, from the shoulder
to the elbow, measures fifteen feet and a half, the ear three feet and a half, and the
chest, across the shoulders, twenty-five feet four inches. Yet the great Sphinx is
half as large again as these. Among the Egyptian antiquities there is a colossal
fist, probably belonging to a sphinx: were the hand opened, the finger would be
nearly of the size of that which Glumdalclitch is said to have picked up.
*Lord Orrery has directed attention to the air of probability which Swift's
minute attention to proportions, and his reference to familiar objects as a standard,
- give to his account of Lilliput. The same tact is not less observable in the account
of Brobdingnag, and particularly in the comparison of the royal kitchen with the
cupola of St. Paul's; perhaps also Swift intended to hint that St. Paul's, however
splended as an edifice, does not, like the gothic cathedrals, immediately suggest that
it was erected for religious purposes.
216
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS,
CHAPTER V.
Several adventures that happened to the author-The execution of a criminal-The
author shows his skill in navigation.
JUSTLY may I say, that I should have lived happy enough
in the country, if my littleness had not exposed me to several
ridiculous and troublesome accidents; some of which I shall
venture to relate. Glumdalclitch often carried me into the
gardens of the court in my smaller box, and would sometimes
take me out of it, and hold me in her hand, or set me down
to walk. I remember, before the dwarf left the queen, he
followed us one day into those gardens, and my nurse having
set me down, he and I being close together, near some
dwarf apple-trees, I must need show my wit, by a silly
allusion between him and the trees, which happened to
hold in their language as it does in ours. Whereupon, the
malicious rogue, watching his opportunity, when I was walk
ing under one of them, shook it directly over my head, by
which a dozen apples, each of them near as large as a Bristol
barrel, came tumbling about my ears; one of them hit me on
the back as I chanced to stoop, and knocked me down flat on
my face; but I received no other hurt, and the dwarf was
pardoned at my desire, because I had given the provocation.
Another day, Glumdalelitch left me on a smooth grass-plot
to divert myself, while she walked at some distance with her
governess. In the mean time there suddenly fell such a violent
shower of hail, that I was immediately, by the force of it,
A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.
217
struck to the ground; and when I was down, the hailstones
gave me such cruel bangs all over the body, as if I had been
pelted with tennis-balls; however, I made a shift to creep on
all fours, and shelter myself, by lying flat on my face, on the
lee-side of a border of lemon-thyme; but so bruised from
head to foot, that I could not go abroad in ten days. Neither is
that at all to be wondered at, because nature, in that country,
observing the same proportion through all her operations, a
hailstone is near eighteen hundred times as large as one in
Europe which I can assert upon experience, having been so
curious to weigh and measure them.
*
But a more dangerous accident happened to me in the same
garden, when my little nurse, believing she had put me in a
secure place (which I often entreated her to do, that I might
enjoy my own thoughts), and having left my box at home, to
avoid the trouble of carrying it, went to another part of the
garden with her governess and some ladies of her acquaintance.
While she was absent, and out of hearing, a small white
spaniel that belonged to one of the chief gardeners, having
got by accident into the garden, happened to range near the
place where I lay; the dog, following the scent, came directly
up, and taking me in his mouth, rau straight to his master
wagging his tail, and set me gently on the ground. By good
fortune he had been so well taught, that I was carried between
his teeth without the least hurt, or even tearing my clothes.
But the poor gardener, who knew me well, and had a great
kindness for me, was in a terrible fright: he gently took me
up in both his hands, and asked me how I did; but I was so
amazed and out of breath, that I could not speak a word. In a
few minutes I came to myself, and he carried me safe to my little
nurse, who, by this time, had returned to the place where she
ieft me, and was in cruel agonies when I did not appear, nor
The particle "as," is here improperly omitted; it should be, so curious"
to weigh, etc.—Sheridan
10
218
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
answer when she called. She severely reprimanded the
gardener on account of his dog. But the thing was hushed
up, and never known at court, for the girl was afraid of the
queen's anger; and truly, as to myself, I thought it would
not be for my reputation that such a story should go about.
This accident absolutely determined Glumdalclitch never
to trust me abroad for the future out of her sight. I had
been long afraid of this resolution, and therefore concealed
from her some little unlucky adventures, that happened in
those times when I was left by myself. Once a kite, hovering
over the garden, made a stoop at me, and if I had not
resolutely drawn my hanger, and run under a thick espalier,
he would have certainly carried me away in his talons.
Another time, walking to the top of a fresh molehill, I fell to
my neck in the hole, through which that animal had cast up
the earth, and coined some lie, not worth remembering, to
excuse myself for spoiling my clothes. I likewise broke my
right shin against the shell of a snail, which I happened to
stumble over, as I was walking alone and thinking of poor
England.
I cannot tell whether I were more pleased or mortified to
observe, in those solitary walks, that the smaller birds did not
appear to be at all afraid of me, but would hop about within
a yard's distance, looking for worms and other food, with as
much indifference and security as if no creature at all were
near them. I remember, a thrush had the confidence to
snatch out of my hand, with his bill, a piece of cake that
Glumdalclitch had just given me for my breakfast. When I
attempted to catch any of these birds, they would boldly turn
against me, endeavouring to peck my fingers, which I durst
not venture within their reach; and then they would hop
back unconcerned, to hunt for worms or snails, as they did
before. But one day, I took a thick cudgel, and threw it
with all my strength so luckily, at a linnet, that I knocked
A VOYAGE TO BROBDING NAG. 218
him down, anl seizing him by the neck with both my hands,
ran with him in triumph to my nurse. However, the bird,
who had only been stunned, recovering himself, gave me so
many boxes with his wings, on both sides of my head and
body, though I held him at arm's length, and was out of the
reach of his claws, that I was twenty times thinking to let
him go. But I was soon relieved by one of our servants, who
wrung off the bird's neck, and I had him next day for dinner,
by the queen's command. This linnet, as near as I can
remember, seemed to be somewhat larger than an English
swan.
*
The maids of honour often invited Glumdalclitch to their
#partments, and desired that she would bring me along with
her, on purpose to have the pleasure of seeing and touching
me. They would often strip me naked from top to toe, and
lay me at full length in their bosoms, wherewith I was much
disgusted; because, to say the truth, a very offensive smell
came from their skins; which I do not mention or intend to
the disadvantages of those excellent ladies, for whom I have
all manner of respect; but I conceive that my sense was more
acute in proportion to my littleness, and that those illustrious
persons were no more disagreeable to their lovers, or to
each other, than people of the same quality are with us in
England. And after all, I found their natural smell was much
more supportable than when they used perfumes, under which
I immediately swooned away. I cannot forget, that an intimate
friend of mine in Lilliput took the freedom in a warm day,
when I had used a good deal of exercise, to complain of a
* Swift attributed his disappointment in his hopes of obtaining a bishopric from
Queen Anne to the united influence of female intrigues and the remonstrances of
Archbishop Sharpe. The Duchess of Somerset is said to have besought the queen
on her knees not to grant him promotion, in revenge for a bitter lampoon, in which
the character of the duchess was very roughly handled. Coarse as is the description
here given of the maids of honour in the court of Brobdingnag, there is reason te
helleve that if has been rauch softened do wn from the original sketch.
220
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
strong smell about me, although I am as little faulty that way
as most of my sex; but I suppose his faculty of smelling was
as nice with regard to me, as mine was to that of this people.
Upon this point I cannot forbear doing justice to the queen
my mistress, and Glumdalelitch my nurse, whose persons were
as sweet as those of any lady in England.
That which gave me most uneasiness among these maids
of honour (when my nurse carried me to visit them) was, to
see them use me without any manner of ceremony, like a
creature who had no sort of concupiscence; for they would
strip themselves to the skin, and put their smocks on in my
presence, while I was placed on their toilet, directly before
their naked bodies, which I am sure to me was very far from
being a tempting sight, or from giving me any other emotions
than those of horror and disgust; their skins appeared so
coarse and uneven, so variously coloured, when I saw them
near, with a mole here and there as broad as a trencher, and
hairs hanging from it thicker than packthreads, to say nothing
farther concerning the rest of their persons. Neither did
they at all scruple, while I was by, to discharge what
they had drank, to the quantity of at least two hogsheads, in
a vessel that held above three tons. The handsomest among
these maids of honour, a pleasant frolicksome girl of sixteen,
would sometimes set me astride upon one of her nipples, with
many other tricks, wherein the reader will excuse me for not
being over particular. But I was so much displeased, that I
entreated Glumdalclitch to contrive some excuse for not see-
ing that young lady any more.
One day, a young gentleman, who was nephew to my
nurse's governess, came and pressed them both to see an
execution. It was of a man, who had murdered one of that
gentleman's intimate acquaintance. Glumdalclitch was pre-
vailed on to be of the company, very much against her
inclination, for she was naturally tender-hearted; and as for
A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.
221
T
myself, although I abhorred such kind of spectacles, yet my
curiosity tempted me to see something that I thought must
be extraordinary. The malefactor was fixed on a chair upon
a scaffold erected for that purpose, and his head cut off at one
blow, with a sword of about forty feet long. The veins and
arteries spouted up such a prodigious quantity of blood, and
so high in the air, that the great jet d'eau at Versailles was
not equal for the time it lasted; and the head, when it fell
on the scaffold floor, gave such a bounce as made me start,
although I were at least half an English mile distant.
*
The queen who often used to hear me talk of my sea-
voyages, and took all occasions to divert me when I was
melancholy, asked me whether I understood how to handle a
sail or an oar, and whether a little exercise of rowing might
not be convenient for my health? I answered that I under-
stood both very well: for although my proper employment
had been to be surgeon or doctor to the ship, yet often, upon
a pinch, I was forced to work like a common mariner. But
I could not see how this could be done in their country,
where the smallest wherry was equal to a first-rate man-of-
war among us; and such a boat as I could manage would
never live in any of their rivers. Her majesty said, "If I
would contrive a boat, her own joiner should make it, and
she would provide a place for me to sail in." The fellow was
an ingenious workman, and by instructions, in ten days,
finished a pleasure boat, with all its tackling, able conveniently
to hold eight Europeans. When it was finished, the queen
was so delighted, that she ran with it in her lap, to the king,
who ordered it to be put into a cistern full of water, with me
in it, by way of trial; where I could not manage my two
skulls, or little oars, for want of room.
before contrived another project. She ordered the joiner to
make a wooden trough of three hundred feet long, fifty broad,
But the
But the queen had
☛ It should be--" was not equal to it,” etc.”—Sheridan.
222
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS
and eight deep: which being well pitched to prevent leaking,
was placed on the floor along the wall, in an outer room of
the palace. It had a cock near the bottom to let out the
water, when it began to grow stale; and two servants could
easily fill it in half an hour. Here I often used to row for
my own diversion, as well as that of the queen and her ladies,
who thought themselves well entertained with my skill and
agility. Sometimes I would put up my sail, and then my
business was only to steer, while the ladies gave me a gale
with their fans; and when they were weary, some of their
pages would blow my sail forward with their breath, while I
showed my art by steering starboard or larboard as I pleased.
When I had done, Gluindalclitch always carried back my
boat into her closet, and hung it on a nail to dry.
In this exercise I once met an accident, which had like to
have cost me my life; for, one of the pages having put my
boat into the trough, the governess who attended Glumdal-
clitch very officiously lifted me up, to place me in the boat;
but I happened to slip through her fingers, and should infal-
libly have fallen down forty feet, upon the floor, if, by the
luckiest chance in the world, I had not been stopped by a
corking-pin that stuck in the good gentlewoman's stomacher;
the head of the pin passed between my shirt and the waist-
band of my breeches, and thus I was held by the middle in
the air, till Glumdalclitch ran to my relief.
Another time, one of the servants, whose office it was to
fill my trough every third day with fresh water, was so care-
less* to let a huge frog (not perceiving it) slip out of his pail.
The frog lay concealed till I was put into my boat, but then,
seeing a resting-place, climbed up, and made it lean so much
on one side, that I was forced to balance it with all my
weight on the other to prevent overturning. When the frog
was got in, it hopped at once half the length of the boat, and
* It should be—" was so careless as to let."— Sheridan.
A VOYAGE TO BROBDING NAG.
223
敷
​then over my head, backward and forward, daubing my face
and clothes with its odious slime. The largeness of its features
made it appear the most deformed animal that can be con-
ceived. However, I desired Glumdalelitch to let me deal
with it alone. I banged it a good while with one of my
sculls, and at last forced it to leap out of the boat.
But the greatest danger I underwent in that kingdom, was
from a monkey, who belonged to one of the clerks of the
kitchen. Glumdalclitch had locked me up in her closet, while
she went somewhere upon business, or a visit. The weather
being very warm, the closet window was left open, as well as
the windows and the door of my bigger box, in which I usually
lived, because of its largeness and conveniency. As I sat
quietly meditating at my table, I heard something bounce in
at the closet-window, and skip about from one side to the
other; whereat, although I was much alarmed, yet I ventured.
to look out, but not stirring from my seat; and then I saw
this frolicsome animal frisking and leaping up and down till
at last he came to my box, which he seemed to view with
great pleasure and curiosity, peeping in at the door and every
window. I retreated to the farther corner of my room, or
box;
but the monkey looking in at every side, put me into
such a fright, that I wanted presence of mind to conceal
myself under the bed, as I might easily have done. After
some time spent in peeping, grinning, and chattering, he at
last espied me; and reaching one of his paws in at the door,
as a cat does when she plays with a mouse, although I often
shifted place to avoid him, he at length seized the lappet of
my coat (which being made of that country silk, was very
thick an strong), and dragged me out. He took me up in
l
his right fore-foot, and held me as a nurse does a child she is
going to suckle, just as I have seen the same sort of creature
do with a kitten in Europe; and when I offered to struggle,
Le sque zed me so hard, that I thought it more prudent to
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GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
submit. I have good reason to believe that he took me for
a young one of his own species, by his often stroking my face
very gently with his other paw.. In these diversions he was
interrupted by a noise at the closet door, as if somebody were.
opening it; whereupon he suddenly leaped up to the window,
at which he had come in, and thence upon the leads and
gutters, walking upon three legs, and holding me in the
fourth, till he clambered up to a roof that was next to ours.
I heard Glumdalclitch give a shriek the moment he was
carrying me out. The poor girl was almost distracted; that
quarter of the palace was all in an uproar; the servants ran
for ladders; the monkey was seen by hundreds in the court,
sitting upon the ridge of a building, holding me like a baby
in one of his fore-paws, and feeding me with the other, by
cramming into my mouth some victuals he had squeezed out
of the bag on one side of his chaps, and patting me when I
would not eat; whereat many of the rabble below could not
forbear laughing; neither do I think they justly ought to be
blamed, for, without question, the sight was ridiculous enough
to everybody but myself. Some of the people threw up
stones, hoping to drive the monkey down; but this was
strictly forbidden, or else, very probably, my brains had been
dashed out.
The ladders were now applied, and mounted by several
men; which the monkey observing, and finding himself almost
encompassed, not being able to make speed enough with his
three legs, let me drop on a ridge tile, and made his escape.
Here I sat for some time, five hundred yards from the ground,
expecting every moment to be blown down by the wind, or to
fall by my own giddiness, and come tumbling over and over
from the ridge to the eaves: but an honest lad, one of my
nurse's footmen, climbed up, and putting me into his breeches-
pocket, brought me down safe.
I was almost choked with the filthy stuff the monkey had
A VOYAGE TO BROBDING NAG .
225
crammed down my throat, but my dear little nurse picked it
out of my mouth with a small needle, and then I fell a vomiting,
which gave me great relief. Yet I was so weak and bruised
in the side with the squeezes given me by this odious animal,
that I was forced to keep my bed a fortnight. The king,
queen, and all the court, sent every day to inquire after my
health; and her majesty made me several visits during my
sickness. The monkey was killed, and an order made that no
such animal should be kept about the palace.
When I attended the king after my recovery, to return him
thanks for his favours, he was pleased to rally me a good deal
upon this adventure. He asked me, "what my thoughts and
speculations were while. I lay in the monkey's paw? how I
liked the victuals he gave me? his manner of feeding? and
whether the fresh air on the roof had sharpened my stomach ?"
He desired to know "what I would have done upon such an
occasion in my own country?" I told his majesty, "that in
Europe we had no monkeys except such as were brought for
curiosities from other places, and so small that I could deal
with a dozen of them together, if they presumed to attack me.
And as for that monstrous animal, with whom I was so lately
engaged (it was indeed as large as an elephant), if my fears
had suffered me to think so far as to make use of my hanger
(looking fiercely, and clapping my hand upon the hilt, as I
spoke) when he poked his paw into my chamber, perhaps I
should have given him such a wound, as would have made
him glad to withdraw it, with more haste than he put it in."
This I delivered in a firm tone, like a person who was jealous
lest his courage should be called in question. However, my
speech produced nothing else beside a loud laughter, which all
the respect due to his majesty from those about him could
not make them contain. This made me reflect how vain ap
attempt it is for a man to endeavour to do himself honour
among those who are out of all degree of equality or compar
16*
226
GULLIVER S TRAVELS.
ison with him. And yet I have seen the moral of my own
behaviour very frequent in England since my return; where
a little contemptible varlet, without the least title to birth,
person, wit, or common sense, shall presume to look with
importance, and put himself upon a foot with the greatest
persons of the kingdom.
I was every day furnishing the court with some ridiculous
story; and Glumdalclitch, although she loved me to excess,
yet was arch enough to inform the queen, whenever I com-
mitted any folly that she thought would be diverting to her
majesty. The girl who had been out of order, was carried by
her governess to take the air about an hour's distance, or
thirty miles from town. They alighted out of the coach
near a small footpath in a field, and Glumdalclitch setting
down my travelling box, I went out of it to walk. There was
a cow-dung in the path, and I must need try ny activity by
attempting to leap over it. I took a run, but unfortunately
jumped short, and found myself just in the middle, up to my
knees. I waded through with some difficulty, and one of the
footmen wiped me as clean as he could with his handkerchief,
for I was filthily bemired; and my nurse confined me to my
box, till we returned home; where the queen was soon
informed of what had passed, and the footmen spread it
about the court: so that all the mirth for some days was at
my expense.
7
A VOYAGE TO BROBDING NAG.
227
CHAPTER VI.
Several contrivances of the author to please the king and queen-He shows his skini
in music--The king inquires into the state of England, which the author relates to
him-The king's observations thereon.
JOINED as I was to the court, I used to attend the king's
levee, once or twice a week, and had often seen him under
the barber's hand, which indeed was at first very terrible to
behold; for the razor was almost twice as long as an ordinary
scythe. His majesty, according to the custom of the country,
was only shaved twice a-week. I once prevailed on the barber
to give me some of the suds or lather, out of which I picked
forty or fifty of the strongest stumps of hair. I then took a
piece of fine wood, and cut it like the back of a comb, making
several holes in it at equal distances, with as small a needle
as I could get from Glumdalclitch. I fixed in the stumps so
artificially, scraping and sloping them with my knife towards
the points, that I made a very tolerable comb; which was a
seasonable supply, my own being so much broken in the teeth
that it was almost useless; neither did I know any artist in
that country so nice and exact, as would undertake to make
ine another.
And this puts me in mind of an amusement, wherein I
spent many of my leisure hours. I desired the queen's woman
to save me some of the combings of her majesty's hair,
whereof in time I got a good quantity; and consulting with
my friend the cabinet-maker, who had received general orders
228
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
to do little jobs for me, I directed him to make two chair
frames, no larger than those I had in my box, and to bore
little holes with a fine awl, round those parts where I designea
the backs and seats: through these holes I wove the strongest
hairs I could pick out, just after the manner of cane chairs in
England. When they were finished, I made a present of them
to her majesty, who kept them in her cabinet, and used to
show them for curiosities, as indeed they were the wonder of
every one that beheld them. The queen would have me sit
upon one of these chairs, but I absolutely refused to obey her,
orotesting I would rather die a thousand deaths, than place a
dishonourable part of my body on those precious hairs that
once adorned her majesty's head. Of these hairs (as I had
always a mechanical genius) I likewise made a neat little
purse, about five feet long, with her majesty's name deciphered
in gold letters, which I gave to Glumdalelitch by the queen's
consent. To say the truth it was more for show than use,
being not of strength to bear the weight of the larger coins,
and therefore she kept nothing in it but some little toys that
girls are fond of.
The king, who delighted in music, had frequent concerts at
court, to which I was sometimes carried, and set in my box
on the table to hear them; but the noise was so great that 1
could hardly distinguish the tunes. I am confident that all
the drums and trumpets of the royal army, beating and sound-
ing together just at your ears, could not equal it. My practice
was to have my box removed from the place where the per-
formers sat, as far as I could, then to shut the doors and
windows of it, and draw the window curtains, after which I
found their music not disagreeable.
I had learned in my youth to play a little upon the spinet.
Glumdalclitch kept one in her chamber, and a master attended
twice a-week to teach her: I called it a spinet, because it
somewhat resembled that instrument, and was played upon in
A VOYAGE TO BROBDING NAG. 229
the same manner.
A fancy came into my head that I would
entertain the king and queen with an English tune upon this
instrument. But this appeared extremely difficult for the
spinet was near sixty feet long, each key being almost a foot
wide, so that with my arms extended I could not reach to
above five keys, and to press them down required a good
smart stroke with my fist, which would be too great a labour,
and to no purpose. The method I contrived was this: I
pre-
pared two round sticks, about the bigness of common cudgels;
they were thicker at one end than the other, and I covered
the thicker ends with pieces of a mouse's skin, that by
rapping on them I might neither damage the tops of the keys
nor interrupt the sound. Before the spinet a bench was
placed, about four feet below the keys and I was put upon the
bench. I ran sidelong upon it, that way and this, as fast as I
could, banging the proper keys with my two sticks, and made
a shift to play a jig, to the great satisfaction of both their
majesties; but it was the most violent exercise I ever under-
went; and yet I could not strike above sixteen keys, nor
consequently, play the bass and treble together, as other artists
do; which was a great disadvantage to my performance.
The king, who, as I before observed, was a prince of
excellent understanding, would frequently order that I should
be brought in my box, and set upon the table in his closet;
he would then command me to bring one of my chairs out of
the box, and sit down within three yards' distance, upon the
top of the cabiuet, which brought me almost to a level with
his face. In this manner I had several conversations with
him. I one day took the freedom to tell his majesty, "that
the contempt he discovered towards Europe, and the rest of
the world, did not seem answerable to those excellent qualities
of mind that he was master of; that reason did not extend
itself within the bulk of the body; on the contrary, we
onserved in our country, that the tallest persons were usually
230
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
IT
the least provided with it; that among other animals, bees
and ants had the reputation of more industry, art, and sagacity,
than many of the larger kinds; and that, as inconsiderable
as he took me to be, I hoped I might live to do his majesty
some signal service." The king heard me with attention, and
began to conceive a much better opinion of me than he had
ever before. He desired "I would give him as exact an
account of the government of England as I possibly could;
because, as fond as princes commonly are of their own cus
toms (for so he conjectured of other monarchs by my former
discourses), he should be glad to hear of any thing that might
deserve imitation."
Imagine with thyself, courteous reader, how often I then
wished for the tongue of Demosthenes or Cicero, that might
have enabled me to celebrate the praise of my own dear native
country, in a style equal to its merits and felicity.
I began my discourse by informing his majesty, that our
dominions consisted of two islands, which composed three
mighty kingdoms under one sovereign, besides our plantations
in America. I dwelt long under the fertility of our soil, and
the temperature of our climate. I then spoke at large upon
the constitution of an English parliament; partly made up of
an illustrious body, called the House of Peers; persons of the
noblest blood, and of the most ancient and ample patrimonies.
I described that extraordinary care always taken of their
education in arts and arms, to qualify them for being counsel-
lors both to the king and kingdom; to have a share in the
legislature; to be members of the highest court of judicature,
whence there can be no appeal; and to be champions always.
ready for the defence of their prince and country, by their
valour, conduct, and fidelity. That these were the ornament
and bulwark of the kingdom, worthy followers of their most
renowned ancestors, whose honour had been the reward of
their virtue, from which their posterity were never once known
A VOYAGE TO BROBDING NAG.
231
to degenerate. To these were joined several holy persons, as
part of that assembly, under the title of bishops, whose peculiar
business it is to take care of religion, and of those who instruct
the people therein. These were searched and sought out
through the whole nation, by the prince and his wisest coun-
sellors, among such of the priesthood as were most deservedly
distinguished by the sanctity of their life, and the depth of
their erudition; who were indeed the spiritual fathers of the
clergy and the people.*
That the other part of the parliament consisted of an
assembly, called the House of Commons, who were all princi-
pal gentlemen, freely picked and culled out by the people
themselves, for their great abilities and love of their country, to
represent the wisdom of the whole nation. And that these
two bodies made up the most august assembly in Europe, to
"You
*The doctrines of passive obedience and non-resistance, so strenuously main-
tained by many eminent English divines, rendered the church an object of suspicion
to the several whig cabinets, and ministerial patronage was exerted to weaken the
political influence of the church by promoting persons not likely to maintain the
claims of ecclesiastical power. Not only Swift, but many others complained that
the church was betrayed by the state, and that the secular power was directly
exerted to overthrow episcopal authority. Bishop Warburton, in one of his letters,
urges this complaint with his usual force, vulgarity, and mannerism; the passage
is also remarkable for a Brobdingnagian image worthy of Swift himself.
mention Noah's ark. I have really forgot what I said of it. But I suppose I com-
The rabbins
pared it to the church, as many a grave divine has done before me.
make the giant Gog or Magog cotemporary with Noah, and convinced by his
preaching; so that he was disposed to take the benefit of the ark. But here lay
the distress; it by no means suited his dimensions. Therefore, as he could not
enter in, he contented himself to ride upon it astride. And though you must sup-
pose, that in that stormy weather he was more than half boots over, he kept his
seat, and dismounted safely when the ark landed on Mount Ararat. Image now to
yourself this illustrious cavalier mounted on his hackney; and see if it does not bring
before you the church bestrid by some lumpish minister of state, who turns and
winds it at his pleasure. The only difference is, that Gog believed the preacher of
righteousness and religion."
The former comparison of the church to the ark, which Warburton's correspond-
ent appears to have noticed, is not less characteristic. "The church, like the ark
of Noah, is worth saving, not for the sake of the unclean beasts and vermin that
almost filled it, and probably made most noise and clamour in it, but for the little
corner of rationality, that was as much distressed by the stink within as by the
tempest without.”
232
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
whom, in conjunction with the prince, the whole legislature is
committed.
I then descended to the courts of justice; over which the
judges, those venerable sages and interpreters of the law,
presided, for determining the disputed rights and properties.
of men, as well as for the punishment of vice and protection
of innocence. I mentioned the prudent management of our
treasury; the valour and achievements of our forces, by sea and
land. I computed the number of our people, by reckoning
how many millions there might be of each religious sect, or
political party among us.
I did not omit even our sports and
pastimes, or any other particular which I thought might
redound to the honour of my country. And I finished all
with a brief historical account of affairs and events in England
for about a hundred years past.
This conversation was not ended under five audiences, each
of several hours; and the king heard the whole with great
attention, frequently taking notes of what I spoke, as well as
memorandums of what questions he intended to ask me.
When I had put an end to these long discourses, his
majesty, in a sixth audience, consulting his notes, proposed
many doubts, queries, and objections, upon every article. He
asked, "what methods were used to cultivate the minds and
bodies of our young nobility, and in what kind of business
they commonly spent the first and teachable part of their
lives? What course was taken to supply that assembly, when
any noble family became extinct? What qualifications were
necessary in those who are to be created new lords: whether
the humour of a prince, a sum of money to a court lady, or a
design of strengthening a party opposite to the public interest,
ever happened to be the motives in those advancements ?*
* A bill for the Limitation of the Peerage was passed by the House of Lords in 1719;
but after a long debate, was rejected by an overwhelming majority of the Commons.
On this occasion, the tories joined with that section of the whigs which recognized
Walpole as a leader. Swift unconsciously has adopted a portion of the reasoning of
his great enemy.
A VOYAGE TO BROBDING NAG.
233
What share of knowledge these lords had in the laws of their
country, and how they came by it, so as to enable them to
decide the properties of their fellow-subjects in the last resort?
Whether they were always so free from avarice, partialities,
or want, that a bribe, or some other sinister view, could have
no place among them? Whether those holy lords I spoke of
were always promoted to that rank upon account of their
knowledge in religious matters, and the sanctity of their lives;
had never been compliers with the times, while they were
common priests; or slavish prostitute chaplains to some noble-
man, whose opinions they continued servilely to follow, after
they were admitted into that assembly ?" *
*Swift very frequently assailed the Irish bench of bishops, asserting that they
were ignorant of the creed of their own church, in one of these attacks on the epis
copal body, he says,-
Of whom there are not four at most
Who know there is an Holy Ghost;
And when they boast they have conferr'd it,
Like Paul's Ephesians, never heard it;
And when they gave it 'tis well known,
They gave what never was their own.
In another political squib, we find the following bitter lines,—
Let prelates by their good behaviour,
Convince us they believe a Saviour;
Nor sell, what they so dearly bought,
This country nor their own, for nought.
The Bishop of Kilkenny was particularly obnoxious to the Dean, and bears the
brunt of Swift's fierce attack on the Irish bench, for proposing to divide the church
Hivings.
Old Latimer, preaching, did fairly describe
A bishop, who ruled all the rest of his tribe:
And who is this bishop? and where did he dwell ?
Why, truly, 'tis Satan, Archbishop of Hell:
And he was a prinate, and he wore a mitre,
Surrounded with jewels of sulphur and nitre.
How nearly this bishop our bishops resembles !
But he has the odds who believes and who trembles.
Could you see his Grim Grace for a pound to a penny
You'd swear it must be the baboon of Kilkenny:
234
GULLIVER' TRAVELS.
He then desired to know, "what arts were practised in
electing those whom I called commoners; whether a stranger
with a strong purse, might not influence the vulgar voters to
choose him before their own landlord, or the most consider-
able gentleman in the neighbourhood? How it came to pass,
that people were so violently bent upon getting into this
assembly, which I allowed to be a great trouble and expense,
often to the ruin of their families, without any salary or
pension; because this appeared such an exalted strain of virtue
and public spirit, that his majesty seemed to doubt it might
possibly not be always sincere ?" * And he desired to know,
*
<<
* Considerable excitement was produced by Sir John Cope having charged Sir
Francis Page, one of the barons of the Exchequer, with endeavouring to corrupt the
borough of Banbury, in order to secure the return of Sir William Codrington, at the
next election. The charge was heard at the bar of the House of Commons, and
though the ministers of the day exerted all their influence to shield the judge, he was
acquitted by a majority of four only, the numbers being 128 to 124. A bill for secur-
ing the Freedom of Elections was about the same time rejected by the House of
Lords, through the influence of the ministers, who had failed to strangle it in the
Commons. This afforded the tories an opportunity of representing themselves as the
friends and the whigs as the enemies of constitutional liberty, which they were too
wise to neglect. During the debate in the Commons, Mr. Hutcheson, member for
Hastings, used the following language, which seems to have suggested the king of
Brodingnag's queries to Swift. But what in God's name can all this tend to?
What other construction can any man in common sense put upon all these things,
but that there seems to have been a grand design of violence and oppression, first
to humble you, and make your necks pliable to the yoke, and then to finish the work
by tempting the poverty and necessities of the people to sell themselves into the
most abject and detestable slavery, for that very money which had been either
unnecessarily raised, or mercilessly and unjustly plundered and torn from their
very bowels. And thus you may be in a fair way of being beaten by your own
weapons. Nor can I imagine what inducement men have who run from borough te
borough, and purchase their elections at such extravagant rates, unless it be from
a strong expectation of being well paid for their votes, and of receiving ample
recompense and reward for the secret service they have covenanted to perform
here
. It were very much to be wished, that gentlemen of estates and
families in the country would heartily unite in this particular, of keeping the elec.
•
Poor Satan will think the comparison odious;
I wish I could find him out one more commodious.
But this I am sure, the most reverend old dragon
Had got on the bench many bishops suffragan;
And all men believe he resides there incog,
To give them by turns an invisible jog.
A VOYAGE TO BROBDING NAG.
235
* whether such zealous gentlemen could have any views of
refunding themselves for the charges and trouble they were
at, by sacrficing the public good to the designs of a weak and
vicious prince, in conjunction with a corrupted ministry?"
He multiplied his questions, and sifted me thoroughly upon
every part of this head, proposing numberless inquiries and
objections, which I think it not prudent or convenient to
repeat.
Upon what I said in relation to our courts of justice his
majesty desired to be satisfied in several points: and this I
was better able to do, having been formerly almost ruined by
a long suit in chancery, which was decreed for me with costs.
He asked, “what time was usually spent in determining
between right and wrong, and what degree of expense?
Whether advocates and orators had liberty to plead in causes
manifestly known to be unjust, vexatious, or oppressive?
Whether party, in religion or politics, were observed to be of
any weight in the scale of justice? Whether those pleading
orators were persons educated in the general knowledge of
equity, or only in provincial, national, and other local customs
Whether they or their judges had any part in penning those
laws, which they assumed the liberty of interpreting, and
glossing upon at their pleasure? Whether they had ever, at
different times, pleaded for and against the same cause, and
cited precedents to prove contrary opinions? Whether they
were a rich or a poor corporation? Whether they received
any pecuniary reward for pleading, or delivering their
tions in the several counties among themselves; that they would resolve inviolably
to support each other's interests against the encroachments and corrupt applicatious
of strangers, let them come from what quarter they will. If this were done, it
would in a great measure put an end to those dangerous and infamous practices
that are now on foot, and we might hope once more to see this House filled with
gentlemen of free and independent fortunes such as would be above making their
court any where at the expense of their country, and would despise all manner o.
slavish concessions to men in power."
236
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
opinions?
And particularly, whether they were ever admit
ted as members in the lower senate ?"*
He fell next upon the management of our treasury; and
said, “he thought my memory had failed me because I com-
puted our taxes at about five or six millions a year, and when
they came to mention the issues, he found they sometimes
amounted to more than double; for the notes he had taken
were very particular in this point, because he hoped, as he
told me, that the knowledge of our conduct might be useful
to him, and he could not be deceived in his calculationst
But, if what I told him were true, he was still at a loss how
a kingdom could run out of its estate, like a private person."
He asked me "who were our creditors; and where we found
money to pay them? He wondered to hear me talk of such
chargeable and expensive wars; "that certainly we must be
a quarrelsome people, or live among very bad neighbours, and
that our generals must needs be richer than our kings!" He
* In the session of 1820, Sir William Thompson, solicitor-general, charged Mr.
Lechmere, attorney-general, with breach of his oath, trust, and duty, as a privy
councillor, saying that he acted as counsel, and received sums of money for lus
advice in matters to him referred by the the privy council as attorney-general. The
charge was investigated by a committee of the whole House; it appeared that
Mr. Lechmere had taken nothing but his usual fees as chamber counsellor, and
the accusation was declared by the House to be false, scandalous and malicious.
The lawyers of Swift's day were for the most part whigs, and strongly attached to the
Protestant succession; they were on this account particularly odious to the Jacob-
ites, and when individual satire failed, bitter attacks were made on the entire legal
profession. It must, however, be added, that the whig lawyers were too ready to
extend the dangerous principle of constructive treason, and far too ardent in their
prosecutions for libel. Swift was particularly hostile to lawyers on account of the
vexatious prosecutions undertaken against the printers and publishers of the
Drapier's Letters, and he never omits an opportunity of venting his indignation.
+ The National Debt was first incurred by the whig administrations in the reigns
of William III. and Queen Anne, when the ordinary revenue was found inadequate
to the expenses of the great wars against France. It was a favourite topic of decla-
mation with their tory opponents, and was not the least efficacious in depriving the
whigs of their popularity. In 1722, the tories proposed the following resolution in
the Lords. "That the lessening the public debt annually by all proper methods is
necessary to the restoring and securing the public credit." The previous question
was carried; upon which, a spirited protest was entered in the Journals, ard
sopies of it industriously circulated through the country.
A VOYAGE TO BROBDING NAG.
237
asked "what business we had out of our own islands, unless
upon the score of trade or treaty, or to defend the coast with
our fleet?" Above all, he was amazed to hear me talk of a
mercenary standing army, in the midst of peace and among a
free people. He said, "if we were governed by our own con
sent, in the persons of our representatives, he could not
imagine of whom we were afraid or against whom we were to
fight; and would hear my opinion, whether a private man's
house might not better be defended by himself, his children
and his family, than by half a dozen rascals, picked up at
a venture in the streets for small wages, who might get a hun-
dred times more by cutting their throats?"*
He laughed at my "odd kind of arithmetic," as he was
pleased to call it, "in reckoning the numbers of our people by
a computation drawn from the several sects among us in reli-
gion and politics." He said "he knew no reason why those,
who entertain opinions prejudicial to the public, should be
obliged to change, or should not be obliged to conceal them.
And as it was tyranny in any government to require the
first, so it was weakness not to enforce the second: for a man
may be allowed to keep poisons in his closet, but not to
vend them about for cordials."t
One of the most memorable debates in the reign of George I. was on the grant
for maintaining a standing army of sixteen thousand men. Mr. Shippen and Mr.
Jeffries resisted the proposal with great energy, and the former used such severity
of language that he was committed to the Tower. The tories, both on this question
and on the Debt, had a decided advantage in argument over their adversaries, espe-
cially as they could appeal to a parliamentary resolution in the reign of Charles II.,
which declared, "That the continuance of standing forces in this nation, other
than the militia, is illegal, and a great grievance and vexation to the people." Mr.
Shippen, in his speech, perplexed the whigs by referring to their own recorded
principles. "It is," said he, "every year declared in the Act of Mutiny and Deser-
tion, that the keeping up a standing army in time of peace, is against law; and as
the freeing us from it was one of the ends of the revolution, so, no doubt, the preser-
ving us for ever from an attempt of the like nature, was one of those innumerable
glorious advantages proposed by the Act of Succession.
It is not easy to reconcile these intolerant sentiments with the opinions on tole-
ration already noticed in the voyage to Lilliput. There was at this time reason to
fear that the Presbyterians would obtain the ascendency in the Irish parliament, and
238
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
He observed, "that among the diversions of our nobility
and gentry, I had mentioned gaming; he desired to know at
what age this entertainment was usually taken up, and when it
was laid down; how much of their time it employed; whether
it ever went so high as to affect their fortunes; whether mean,
vicious people by their dexterity in that art, might not arrive
at great riches, and sometimes keep our very nobles in
dependence, as well as habituate them to vile companions;
wholly take from them the improvement of their minds, and
force them, by the losses they received,* to learn and practise
that infamous dexterity upon others?"
He was perfectly astonished with the historical account I
gave him of our affairs during the last century; protesting it
was only a heap of conspiracies, rebellions, murders, massacres,
revolutions, banishments, the very worst effects that avarice,
faction, hypocrisy, perfidiousness, cruelty, rage, madness,
hatred, envy, lust, malice, and ambition could produce.
His majesty, in another audience, was at the pains to recap-
itulate the sum of all I had spoken; compared the questions
he made with the answers I had given; then taking me into
his hands, and stroking me gently, delivered himself in these
words, which I shall never forget, nor the manner he spoke
them in: "My little friend Grildrig, you have made a most
admirable panegyric upon your country; you have clearly
proved that ignorance, idleness, and vice, are the proper ingre-
dients for qualifying a legislator; that laws are best explained,
interpreted and applied, by those whose interests and abilities
lie in perverting, confounding and eluding them. I observe
among you some lines of an institution, which in its original
might have been tolerable, but these half erased, and the rest
abolish episcopacy; hence probably arises Swift's bitterness against sectaries,
which is very strongly manifested here, and in his celebrated Letter on the Sacra-
mental Test.
* Receiving a loss, is certainly not a good expression; it should be, "the losses
they have sustained."-Sheridan.
A VOYAGE TO BROBDING NAG. 239
wholly blurred and blotted by corruptions. It does not
appear, from all you have said, how any one perfection is
required toward the procurement of any one station among
you; much less that men are ennobled on account of their
virtue; that priests are advanced for their piety or learning;
soldiers for their conduct or valour; judges for their integ-
rity; senators for the love of their country; or counsellors
for their wisdom. As for yourself," continued the king,
"who have spent the greatest part of your life in travelling, I
am well disposed to hope you may hitherto have escaped
many vices of your country. But by what I have gathered
from your own relation, and the answers I have with much
pains wringed and extorted from you, I cannot but conclude
the bulk of your natives to be the most pernicious race of
little odious vermin that nature ever suffered to crawl up o
the surface of the earth."
*
"
* Instead of “wringed ” it should have been “wrung.”—Sheridan.
240
GULLIVER'S TRAVELE.
CHAPTER VII.
The author's love of his country-He makes a proposal of much advantage to the
king, which is rejected-The king's great ignorance in politics-The learning of
that country very imperfect and confined-The laws and military affairs, and
parties in the state.
LOVE of truth could alone have hindered me from conceal-
ing this part of my story. It was in vain to discover my
resentments, which were always turned into ridicule; and I
was forced to rest with patience, while my noble and beloved
country was so injuriously treated. I am as heartily sorry
as any of my readers can possibly be, that such an occasion
was given; but this prince happened to be so curious and
inquisitive upon every particular, that it could not consist
either with gratitude or good manners, to refuse giving him
what satisfaction I was able. Yet thus much I may be
allowed to say in my own vindication, that I artfully eluded
many of his questions, and gave to every point a more favour-
able turn, by many degrees, than the strictness of truth would
allow. For I have always borne that laudable partiality to
my own country, which Dionysius Halicarnassensis, with so
much justice, recommends to an historian; I would hide the
frailties and deformities of my political mother, and place her
virtues and beauties in the most advantageous light. This
was my sincere endeavour in those many discourses I had
with that monarch, although it unfortunately failed of
Buccess.
But great allowances should be given to a king, who lives
A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.
241
wholly secluded from the rest of the world, and must there-
fore be altogether unacquainted with the manners and cus-
toms that most prevail in other nations; the want of which
knowledge will ever produce many prejudices, and a certain
narrowness of thinking, from which we, and the politer
countries of Europe, are wholly exempted. And it would be
hard indeed, if so remote a prince's notions of virtue and vice
were to be offered as a standard for all mankind.
(
To confirm what I have now said, and farther to show the
miserable effects of a coufined education, I shall here insert a
passage, which will hardly obtain belief. In hopes to ingra-
tiate myself farther into his majesty's favour, I told him of
an invention, discovered between three and four hundred
years ago, to make a certain powder, into a heap of which,
the smallest spark of fire falling, would kindle the whole in a
moment, although it were as big as a mountain, and make it
all fly up into the air together, with a noise and agitation
greater than thunder. That a proper quantity of this powder
rammed into a hollow tube of brass or iron, according to its
bigness, would drive a ball of iron or lead, with such violence
and speed, as nothing was able to sustain its force. That the
largest balls thus discharged, would not only destroy whole
ranks of an army at once, but batter the strongest walls to
the ground; sink down ships, with a thousand men in each,
to the bottom of the sea; and when linked together by a
chain would cut through masts and rigging, divide hundreds
of bodies in the middle, and lay all waste before them. That
we often put this powder into large hollow balls of iron, and
discharged them by an engine into some city we were besieg-
ing, which would rip up the pavements, tear the houses to
pieces, burst and throw splinters on every side, dashing out
the brains of all who came near. That I knew the
ingredients very well, which were cheap and common.
I understood the manner of compounding them, and could
11
242
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
direct his workmen how to make those tubes, of a size
proportionable to all other things in his majesty's kingdom,
and the largest need not be above a hundred feet long;
twenty or thirty of which tubes, charged with the proper
quantity of powder and balls, would batter down the walls of
the strongest town in his dominions in a few hours, or destroy
the whole metropolis, if ever it should pretend to dispute his
absolute commands. This I humbly offered to his majesty,
as a small tribute of acknowledgment, in return of so many
marks that I had received of his royal favour and protec-
tion."
The king was struck with horror at the description I had
given of these terrible engines, and the proposal I had made.
"He was amazed, how so impotent and grovelling an insect
as I" (these were his expressions) "could entertain such
inhuman ideas, and in so familiar a manner, as to appear
wholly unmoved at all the scenes of blood and desolation
which I had painted, as the common effects of these destruc-
tive machines: whereof" he said some evil genius, enemy to
mankind, must have been the first contriver. As for himself,
he protested, that although few things delighted him so much
as new discoveries in art or in nature, yet he would rather
lose half his kingdom than be privy to such a secret; which
he commanded me, as I valued my life, never to mention
any more.
11*
A strange effect of narrow principles and views! that a
prince possessed of every quality which procures veneration,
love, and esteem; of strong parts, great wisdom, and profound
learning; endowed with admirable talents, and almost adored
*It is scarcely necessary to expose the fallacious reasoning of this passage,
every body knows that wars have been far less sanguinary since the invention of
gunpowder than they were before, and that every improvement in the arts of de-
struction has been followed by a saving of human life. Swift, however, knew that
the glories of Marlborough's campaigns were the chief source of the popularity
of the whigs, and as he could not deny the military merits of these victories, bu
hoped to weaken their influence by declaiming against wars in general.
A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.
243
by his subjects, should from a nice unnecessary scruple,
whereof in Europe we can have no conception, let slip an
opportunity put into his hands that would have made hin
absolute master of the lives, the liberties, and the fortunes of
his people.* Neither do I say this, with the least intention
to detract from the many virtues of that excellent king, whose
character, I am sensible, will, on this account, be very much
lessened in the opinion of the English reader; but I take this
defect among them to have risen from their ignorance, by not
having hitherto reduced politics into a science, as the more
acute wits of Europe have done. For, I remember very well,
in a discourse one day with the king, when I happened to say,
"there were several thousand books among us written upon
the art of government," it gave him (directly contrary to my
intention) a very mean opinion of our understandings. He
professed both to abominate and to despise all mystery, refine-
ment, and intrigue, either in a prince or a minister. He
could not tell what I meant by secrets of state, where an
enemy, or some rival nation, were not in the case.
He
confined the knowledge of governing within very narrow
bounds, to common sense and reason, to justice and lenity, to
the speedy determination of civil and criminal causes; with
some other obvious topics, which are not worth considering.
And he gave it for his opinion, "that whoever could make
two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, to grow upon a spot
of ground, where only one grew before, would deserve better
of mankind, and do more essential service to his country,
than the whole race of politicians put together."
It was more than hinted by the tories, that the House of Brunswick intended
to make use of the standing army to subvert British liberty. Mr. Shippen, in the
speech to which allusion has been already made, said, "that the second paragraph
of the king's speech seemed rather to be calculated for the meridian of Germany
than Great Britain; and that the king was a stranger to our language and con-
stitution." It was for these expressions that he was committed to the Tower.
†The tories were always anxious to identify themselves with the agricultural
Interest, to which Swift consequently loses no opportunity of paying a compliment.
244
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
The learning of this people is very defective: consisting
only of morality, history, poetry, and mathematics, wherein
they must be allowed to excel. But the last of these is wholly
applied to what may be useful in life, to the improvement of
agriculture and all mechanical arts; so that among us it
would be little esteemed. And as to ideas, entities, ab-
stractions, and transcendentals, I could never drive the least
conception into their heads.
No law of that country must exceed in words the number
of letters in their alphabet, which consists only of two-and-
twenty. But indeed few of them extend even to that length.
They are expressed in the most plain and simple terms, wherein
those people are not mercurial enough to discover above one
interpretation and to write a comment upon any law, is a
capital crime. As to the decision of civil causes, or proceed-
ings against criminals, their precedents are so few, that they
have little reason to boast of any extraordinary skill in
either.
They have had the art of printing, as well as the Chinese,
time out of mind: but their libraries are not very large; for
that of the king, which is reckoned the largest, does not
amount to above a thousand volumes, placed in a gallery of
twelve hundred feet long, whence I had liberty to borrow what
books I pleased. The queen's joiner had contrived in one of
Glumdalclitch's rooms, a kind of wooden machine five-and-
twenty feet high, formed like a standing ladder; the steps
were each fifty feet long; it was indeed a moveable pair of
stairs, the lowest end placed at ten feet distance from the wall
of the chamber. The book I had a mind to read, was put up
leaning against the wall: I first mounted to the upper step of
the ladder, and turning my face towards the book began at
the top of the page, and so walking to the right and left
about eight or ten paces, according to the length of the lines,
till I had gotten a little below the level of mine eyes, and
then descending gradually till I came to the bottom: after
A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.
245
which I mounted again, and began the other page in the same
manner, and so turned over the leaf, which I could easily
do with both my hands, for it was as thick and stiff as a
pasteboard, and in the largest folios not above eighteen or
twenty feet long.
Their style is clear, masculine and smooth, but not florid;
for they avoid nothing more than multiplying unnecessary words
or using various expressions. I have perused many of their
books, especially those in history and morality. Among the
rest, I was much diverted with a little old treatise, which
always lay in Glumdalclitch's bedchamber, and belonged to
her governess, a grave elderly gentlewoman, who dealt in
writings of morality and devotion. The book treats of the
weakness of human kind, and is in little esteem except among
the women and the vulgar. However, I was curious to see
what an author of that country could say upon such a subject.
This writer went through all the usual topics of European
moralists, showing "how diminutive, contemptible, and help-
less an auimal was man in his own nature: how unable to
defend himself from inclemencies of the air, or the fury of
wild beasts: how much he was excelled by one creature in
strength, by another in speed, by a third in foresight, by a
fourth in industry." He added, "that nature was degenerated
in these latter declining ages of the world, and could now
produce only small abortive births, in comparison of those
in ancient times." He said, "it was very reasonable to think,
not only that the species of men were originally much larger,
but also that there must have been giants in former ages:
which, as it is asserted by history and tradition, so it has been
confirmed by huge bones and sculls, casually dug up in
several parts of the kingdom, far exceeding the common
dwindled race of men in our days." He argued, that the
very laws of nature absolutely required we should have been
unade, in the beginning, of a size more large and robust; not
246
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
so liable to destruction from every little accident, of a tile
falling from a house, or a stone cast from the hand of a boy,
or being drowned in a little brook." From this way of
reasoning, the author drew several moral applications, useful
in the conduct of life, but needless here to repeat. For my own
part, I could not avoid reflecting how universally this talent
was spread, of drawing lectures in morality, or indeed rather
matter of discontent and repining, from the quarrels we raise
with nature. And I believe, upon a strict inquiry, those
quarrels might be shown as ill-grounded among us as they
are among that people.
As to their military affairs, they boast that the king's army
consists of a hundred and seventy-six thousand foot, and
thirty-two thousand horse: if that may be called an army,
which is made up of tradesmen in the several cities, and
farmers in the country, whose commanders are only the
nobility and gentry, without pay or reward. They are indeed
perfect enough in their exercises, and under very good disci
pline, wherein I saw no great merit; for how should it be
otherwise, where every farmer is under the command of his
own landlord, and every citizen under that of the principal
men in his own city, chosen, after the manner of Venice, by
ballot? I have often seen the militia of Lorbrulgrud drawn
out to exercise, in a great field near the city, of twenty
miles square. They were in all not above twenty-five thousand
foot, and six thousand horse; but it was impossible for me to
compute their number, considering the space of ground they
took up. A cavalier mounted on a large steed might be about
ninety feet high. I have seen this whole body of horse, upon
a word of command, draw their swords at once, and brandish
them in the air. Imagination can picture nothing so grand,
so surpassing, and so astonishing! it looked as if ten thousand
flashes of lightning were darting at the same time from every
quarter of the sky.
TOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.
247
1
nas culos to know how this prince, to whose dominions
there is no access from any other country, came to think of
armies, or to tea、n his people the practice of military discipline,
But I was soon informed, both by conversation and reading
their histories; for, in the course of many ages, they have
been troubled with the same disease to which the whole race
of mankind is subje; the nobility often contending for power,
the people for liberty, and the king for absolute dominion.
All which, however happily tempered by the laws of that
kingdom, have been sometimes violated by each of the three
parties, and have more than once occasioned civil wars; the
last whereof was happily put an end to by this prince's grand-
father, in a general composition, and the militia then settled
with common consent, has been ever since kept in the strictest
duty.
248
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
CHAPTER VIII.
The king and queen make a progress to the frontiers-The author atter i hem-
The manner in which he leaves the country very particularly related-Eis turn
to England.
JUNCTURES of perilous circumstances, from which I had
already escaped, inspired me with a strong impulse that I
should some time recover my liberty, though it was impossi-
ble to conjecture by what means, or to form any project with
the least hope of succeeding. The ship in which I sailed was
the first known to be driven within sight of that coast, and the
king had given strict orders, "that if at any time another
appeared, it should be taken ashore, and with all its crew and
passengers bought in a tumbril to Lorbrulgrud." He was
strongly bent to get me a woman of my own size, by whom
I might propagate the breed; but I think I should rather
have died than undergone the disgrace of leaving a posterity
to be kept in cages, like tame canary birds, and perhaps, in
time, sold about the kingdom, to persons of quality, for curi-
osities. I was indeed treated with much kindness; I was the
favourite of a great king and queen, and the delight of the
whole court; but it was upon such a foot as ill became the
dignity of human-kind. I could never forget those domes
tic pledges I had left behind me. I wanted to be among
people, with whom I could converse upon even terms, and
walk about the streets and fields without being afraid of being
trod to death like a frog or a young puppy. But my de-
liverance came sooner than I expected, and in a mapler not
A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.
249
very common; the whole story and circumstances of which I
shall faithfully relate
I had now been two years in the country; and about the
beginning of the third, Glumdalclitch and I attended the
king and queen, in a progress to the south coast of the king-
dom. I was carried as usual, in my travelling box, which, as
I have already described was a very convenient closet of
twelve feet wide. And I had ordered a hammock to be fixed,
by silken ropes, from the four corners at the top, to break the
jolts when a servant carried me before him on horse-back, as
I sometimes desired; and would often sleep in my hammock,
while we were upon the road. On the roof of my closet, not
directly over the middle of the hammock, I ordered the joiner
to cut a hole of a foot square, to give me air in hot weather
as I slept; which hole I shut at pleasure, with a board that
drew backward and forward through a groove.
When we came to our journey's end, the king thought
proper to stop a few days at a palace he has near Flanflasnic,
a city within eighteen English miles of the sea-side. Glum-
dalclitch and I were much fatigued; I had gotten a small
cold, but the poor girl was so ill as to be confined to her
chamber. I longed to see the ocean, which must be the only
scene of my escape, if ever it should happen. I pretended to be
worse than I really was, and desired leave to take the fresh
air of the sea, with a page, whom I was very fond of, and
who had sometimes been trusted with me. I shall never forget
with what unwillingness Glumdalclitch consented, nor the
strict charges she gave the page to be careful of me, bursting
at the same time into a flood of tears, as if she had some
foreboding of what was to happen. The boy took me out of
my box, about a half an hour's walk from the palace, towards
the rocks on the sea-shore. I ordered him to set me down,
and lifting up one of my sashes, cast many a wistful melan-
choly look towards the sea. I found myself not very well
11*
250
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
and told the page that I had a mind to take a nap in
my hammock, which I hoped would do me good. I got in,
and the boy shut the window close down to keep out the cold.
I soon fell asleep, and all I can conjecture is, while I slept, the
page, thinking no danger could happen, went among the rocks
to look for birds' eggs, having before observed him from my
window searching about, and picking up one or two in the
clefts. Be that as it will, I found myse' suddenly awakened.
with a violent pull upon the ring, which was fastened at the
top of my box for the convenience of carriage. I felt my box.
raised very high in the air, and then borne forward with pro-
digious speed. The first jolt had like to have shaken me out
of my hammock, but afterward the motion was easy enough.
I called out several times as loud as I could raise my voice,
but all to no purpose. I looked towards the windows, and
could see nothing but the clouds and sky. I heard a noise
just over my head, like the clapping of wings, and then began
to perceive the woful condition I was in; that some eagle had
got the cord of my box in his beak, with an intent to let it
fall on a rock, like a tortoise in a shell, and then pick out my
body, and devour it; for the sagacity and smell of this bird
enable him to discover his quarry at a great distance, though
better concealed than I could be within a two-inch board. In
a little time, I observed the noise and flutter of wings to in-
crease very fast, and my box was tossed up and down, like a
sign in a windy day. I heard several bangs or buffets, as I
thought, given to the eagle (for such I am certain it must
have been that held the cord of my box in his beak), and
then, all on a sudden, felt myself falling perpendicularly down,
for above a minute, but with such incredible swiftness, that I
almost lost my breath. My fall was stopped by a terrible squash,
that sounded louder to my ears than the cataract of Niagara ;*
This cataract is produced by the fall of a conflux of water (formed of the four
rast lakes of Canada) from a rocky precipice, the perpendicular height of which g
ens hundred and thirty-seven feet; and it is said to have been heard fifteen leagues
Zawkeswortă.
A VOYAGE TO BROBDING NAG.
251
after which, I was quite in the dark for another minute, and
then began to rise so high, that I could see light from the
tops of the windows. I now perceived I was fallen into the
sea. My box, by the weight of my body, the goods that were
in, and the broad plates of iron fixed for strength at the four
corners of the top and bottom, floated about five feet deep in
water. I did then, and do now suppose, that the eagle which
flew away with my box was pursued by two or three others,
and forced to let me drop while he defended himself against
the rest who hoped to share in the prey. The plates of iron
fastened at the bottom of the box (for those were the strong-
est) preserved the balance while it fell, and hindered it from
being broken on the surface of the water. Every joint of it
was well grooved; and the door did not move on hinges, but
up and down like a sash, which kept my closet so tight that
very little water came in. I got with much difficulty out of
my hammock, having first ventured to draw back the slip-
board on the roof already mentioned, contrived on purpose to
let in air, for want of which I found myself almost stifled.
How often did I then wish myself with my dear Glumdal-
clitch, from whom one single hour had so far divided me!
And I may say with truth, that in the midst of my own mis-
fortunes I could not forbear lamenting my poor nurse, the
grief she would suffer for my loss, the displeasure of the queen,
and the ruin of her fortune. Perhaps many travellers have
not been under greater difficulties and distress than I was at
this juncture, expecting every moment to see iny box dashed
to pieces, or at least overset by the first violent blast, or rising
wave. A breach in one single pane of glass would have been
immediate death; nor could any thing have preserved the
windows, but the strong lattice wires placed on the outside,
against accidents in travelling. I saw the water ooze in at
several crannies, although the leaks were not considerable,
and I endeavoured to stop them as well as I could. I was not
252
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
1
able to lift up the roof of my closet, which otherwise I cer
tainly should have done, and sat on the top of it; where I
might at least preserve myself some hours longer, than by
being shut up (as I may call it) in the hold. Or if I escaped
these dangers for a day or two, what could I expect, but a
miserable death of cold and hunger? I was for four hours
under these circumstances, expecting, and indeed' wishing
every moment to be my last.
I have already told the reader that there were two strong
staples fixed upon that side of my box which had no window;
and into which the servant who used to carry me on horse-
back, would put a leathern belt, and buckle it about his waist.
Being in this disconsolate state, I heard or least thought
heard, some kind of grating noise on that side of my box
where the staples were fixed; soon after I began to fancy that
the box was pulled or towed along the sea: for I now and then
felt a sort of tugging, which made the waves rise near the tops
of my windows, leaving me almost in the dark. This gave
me some faint hopes of relief, although I was not able to
imagine how it could be brought about. I ventured to
unscrew one of my chairs, which were always fastened to the
floor; and having made a hard shift to screw it down again,
directly under the slipping-board that I had lately opened, I
mounted on the chair, and putting my mouth as near as I
could to the hole, I called for help in a loud voice, and in all
the languages I understood. I then fastened my handkerchief
to a stick I usually carried, and, thrusting it up the hole,
waved it several times in the air, that if any boat or ship were
near, the seamen might conjecture some unhappy mortal to be
shut up in the box.
I found no effect from all I could do, but plainly perceived
my closet to be moved along; and in the space of an hour, or
better, that side of the box where the staples were, and had no
windows struck against something that was hard. I appre
A VOYAGE TO BROBDING NAG. 253
nended it to be a rock, and found myself tossed more than ever.
I plainly heard a noise upon the cover of my closet, like that of
a cable, and the grating of it as it passed through the ring. I
then found myself hoisted up, by degrees, at least three feet
higher than I was before. Whereupon I again thrust up my
stick and handkerchief, calling for help till I was almost hoarse.
In return to which, I heard a great shout repeated three times,
giving me such transports of joy, as are not to be conceived
but by those who feel them. I now heard a trampling over
my head, and somebody calling through the hole with a loud
voice, in the English tongue, "If there be anybody below, let
them speak." I answered, "I was an Englishman, drawn by
ill fortune into the greatest calamity that ever any creature
underwent, and begged by all that was moving, to be delivered
out of the dungeon I was in." The voice replied, "I was safe,
for my box was fastened to their ship; and the carpenter
should immediately come and saw a hole in the cover, large
enough to pull me out." I answered "that was needless, and
would take up too much time; for there was no more to be
done, but let one of the crew put his finger into the ring, and
take the box out of the sea into the ship, and so into the
captain's cabin."* Some of them, upon hearing me talk so
wildly, thought I was mad; others laughed; for indeed it
never came into my head, that I was now got among people of
my own stature and strength. The carpenter came, and in a
few minutes sawed a passage about four feet square, then let
down a small ladder, upon which I mounted, and thence was
taken into the ship in a very weak condition.
The sailors were all in amazement, and asked me a thousand
*There are several little incidents which show the author to have had a deep
knowledge of human nature, and I think this is one. Although the principal advan
tages enumerated by Gulliver in the beginning of this chapter, of mingling again
among his countrymen, depended on their being of the same size with himself, yet
this is forgotten in his ardour to be delivered: and he is afterwards betrayed inte
the same absurdity, by his zeal to preserve his furniture -Hawkesworth.
254
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
questions, which I had no inclination to answer. I was
equally confounded at the sight of so many pigmies, for such
I took them to be, after having so long accustomed mine eyes
to the monstrous objects I had left. But the captain, Mr
Thomas Wilcocks, an honest worthy Shropshire man, observ-
ing I was ready to faint, took me into his cabin, gave me a
cordial to comfort me, and made me turn in upon his own
bed, advising me to take a little rest, of which I had great
need. Before I went to sleep, I gave him to understand that
I had some valuable furniture in my box, too good to be lost·
a fine hammock, a handsome field-bed, two chairs, a table,
and a cabinet; that my closet was hung on all sides, or rather
quilted, with silk and cotton; that if he would let one of the
crew bring my closet into his cabin, I would open it there
before him, and show him my goods. The captain, hearing
me utter these absurdities, concluded I was raving; however
(I suppose to pacify me) he promised to give order as I desired,
and going upon deck, sent some of his men down into my
closet, whence (as I afterwards found), they drew up all my
goods, and stripped off the quilting; but the chairs, cabinet,
and bedstead, being screwed to the floor, were much damaged
by the ignorance of the seamen, who tore them up by force.
Then they knocked off some of the boards for the use of the
ship, and when they had got all they had a mind for, let the
hull drop into the sea, which, by reason of many breaches
made in the bottom and sides, sunk outright. And, indeed, I
was glad not to have beeu a spectator of the havoc they made;
because I am confident it would have sensibly touched me, by
bringing former passages into my mind which I would rather
have forgot.
I slept some hours, but perpetually disturbed with dreams
of the place I had left, and the dangers I had escaped. How
ever, upon waking, I found myself much recovered. It was
now about eight o'clock at night, and the captain ordered
A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGN AG.
255
·
supper immediately, thinking I had already fasted too lo g.
He entertained me with great kindness, observing me not to
look wildly, or talk inconsistently; and when we were left
alone, desired I would give him a relation of my travels, and
by what accident I came to be set adrift in that monstrous
wooden chest. He said, "that about twelve o'clock at noon,
as he was looking through his glass, he spied it at a distance
and thought it was a sail, which he had a mind to make, being
not much out of his course, in hopes of buying some biscuit,
his own beginning to fall short. That upon coming nearer
and finding his error, he sent out his long boat, to discover
what it was that his men came back in a fright, swearing
they had seen a swimming house. That he laughed at their
folly, and went himself in the boat, ordering his men to take
a strong cable along with them. That the weather being
calm, he rowed round me several times, observed my windows
and wire lattices that defended them. That he discovered two
staples upon one side, which was all of boards, without any
passage for light. He then commanded his men to row up
to that side, and fastening a cable to one of the staples,
ordered them to tow my chest, as they called it, toward the
ship. When it was there, he gave directions to fasten another
cable to the ring fixed in the cover, and raise up my chest
with pulleys, which all the sailors were not able to do above
two or three feet. He said, they saw my stick and handker-
chief thrust out of the hole, and concluded that some unhappy
man must be shut up in the cavity." I asked, "whether he
or the crew had seen any prodigious birds in the air, about
the time he first discovered me?" To which he answered,
"that discoursing this matter with the sailors while I was
asleep, one of them said he had observed three eagles flying
towards the north, but he remarked nothing of their being
larger than the usual size;" which I suppose must be impu
ted to the great height they were at; and he could not guess
256
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
the reason of my question. I then asked the captain, "how
Sar he reckoned we might be from land?" He said, “by the
best computation he could make, we were at least a hundred
leagues." I assured him he must be mistaken by almost half,
for I had not left the country whence I came above two
hours before I dropped into the sea." Whereupon he began
again to think that my brain was disturbed, of which he gave
me a hint, and advised me to go to bed in a cabin he had
provided. I assured him, "I was well refreshed with his
good entertainment and company, and as much in my senses.
as ever I was in my life."
life." He then grew serious, and
desired to ask me freely, "whether I were not troubled in
my mind by the consciousness of some enormous crime,
for which I was punished at the command of some
prince, by exposing me in that chest; as great crim-
inals, in other countries, have been forced to sea in a
leaky vessel, without provisions: for although he should be
sorry to take so ill a man into his ship, yet he would engage
his word to set me safe ashore, in the first port where we
arrived ?" He added, "that his suspicions were much
increased by some very absurd speeches I had delivered at
first to his sailors, and afterwards to himself, in relation to
my closet or chest, as well as by my odd looks and behaviour
while I was at supper."
I begged his patience to hear me tell my story, which 1
faithfully did, from the last time I left England to the
moment he first discovered me. And as truth always forces
its way into rational minds, so this honest worthy gentleman,
who had some tincture of learning and very good sense, was
immediately convinced of my candour and veracity. But
farther to confirm all I had said, I entreated him to give
order that my cabinet should be brought, of which I had the
key in my pocket; for he had already informed me how
the seamen disposed of my closet. I opened it in his own
A VOYAGE TO BROBDING NAG,
257
presence, and showed him the small collection of rarities I
made in the country from which I had been so strangely
delivered. There was the comb I had contrived out of the
stumps of the king's beard, and another of the same materials,
but fixed into a paring of her majesty's thumb nail, which
served for back. There was a collection of needles and pins,
from a foot to half a yard long; four wasps' stings, like
joiner's tacks; some combings of the queen's hair; a gold ring
which one day she made me a present of, in the most obliging
manner, taking it from her little finger, and throwing it over
my head like a collar. I desired the captain would please to
accept this ring in return for his civilities; which he abso-
lutely refused. I showed him a corn which I had cut off
with my own hand, from a maid of honour's toe; it was
about the bigness of a Kentish pippin, and grown so hard
that when I returned to England, I got it hollowed into a cup,
and set in silver. Lastly, I desired him to see the breeches
I had then on, which were made of a mouse's skin.
I could force nothing on him but a footman's tooth, which
I observed him to examine with great curiosity, and found he
had a fancy for it. He received it with abundance of thanks,
more than such a trifle could deserve. It was drawn by an
unskilful surgeon, in a mistake, from one of Glumdalclitch's
men, who was afflicted with the tooth-ache, but it was as sound
as any in his head. I got it cleaned, and put it in my cabinet.
It was about a foot long, and four inches in diameter.
The captain was very well satisfied with this plain re-
lation I had given him, and said, "he hoped, when we returned
to England I would oblige the world by putting it on paper,
and making it public." My answer was, "that I thought we
were overstocked with books of travels; that nothing could
now pass which was not extraordinary; wherein, I doubted
some authors less consulted truth, than their own vanity, or
interest, or the diversion of ignorant readers; that my stor▾
258
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
could contain little besides common events without those
ornamental descriptions of strange plants, trees, birds, and
other animals; or of the barbarous customs and idolatry of
savage people, with which most writers abound." However,
I thanked him for his good opinion, and promised to take
the matter into my thoughts.
He said, "he wondered at one thing very much, which was
at hearing me speak so loud; asking me, whether the king
and queen of that country were thick of hearing?" I told
him, "it was what I had been used to for above two years
past, and that I admired as much at the voices of him and his
inen, who seemed to me only to whisper, and yet I could hear
them well enough. But, when I spoke in that country, it was
like a man talking in the streets to another looking out from
the top of a steeple, unless when I was placed on a table, or
held in any person's hand." I told him, "I had likewise ob-
served another thing, that when I first got into the ship, and
the sailors stood all about me, I thought they were the most
contemptible little creatures I had ever beheld." For, indeed,
while I was in that prince's country, I could never endure to
look in a glass after mine eyes had been accustomed to such
prodigious objects, because the comparisons gave me so des-
picable a conceit of myself. The captain said, “that while we
were at supper he observed me to look at every thing with a
sort of wonder, and that I often seemed hardly able to contain
my laughter, which he knew not well how to take, but imputed
it to some disorder in my brain." I answered, "It was very
true; and I wondered how I could forbear, when I saw his
dishes of the size of a silver threepence, a leg of pork hardly
a mouthful, a cup not so big as a nutshell;" and so I went on,
describing the rest of his household stuff and provisiɔns, after
the same manner. For, although the queen had ordered a
little equipage of all things necessary for me, while I was in
her service, yet my ideas were wholly taken up with what 1
A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.
259
saw on every side of me, and I winked at my own littleness as
people do at their own faults. The captain understood my
raillery very well, and merrily replied with the old English
proverb, that he doubted mine eyes were bigger than my
belly, for he did not observe my stomach so good, although I
had fasted all day; and, continuing in his mirth, protested,
"he would have gladly given a hundred pounds, to have seen
my closet in the eagle's bill, and afterwards in its fall from so
great a height into the sea, which would certainly have been
a most astonishing object worthy to have the description of
it transmitted to future ages; and the comparison of Phaëton
was so obvious, that he could not forbear applying it, although
I did not much admire the conceit.
The captain having been at Tonquin, was, in his return to
England, driven north-eastward to the latitude of 44 degrees,
and longitude of 143. But meeting a trade wind two days.
after I came on board him, we sailed southward a long time,
and coasting New Holland, kept our course west-south-west,
and then south-south-west, till we doubled the Cape of
Good Hope. Our voyage was very prosperous, but I shall not
trouble the reader with a journal of it. The captain called
in at one or two ports, and sent in his long-boat for provisions
and fresh water; but I never went out of the ship till we came
into the Downs, which was on the third day of June, 1706,
about nine months after my escape. I offered to leave my
goods in security for payment of my freight, but the captain
protested he would not receive one farthing. We took a kind
of leave of each other, and made him promise he would come
to see me at my house in Redriff. I hired a horse and guide
for five shillings which I borrowed of the captain.*
*This exquisitely simple incident will probably remind the reader of Campbell's
description of Commodore Byron:
In horrid climes, where Chilõe's tempests sweep
Tempestuous murmurs o'er the troubled deep,
260
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
As I was on the road, observing the littleness of the horses
the trees, the cattle, and the people, I began to think myself
in Lilliput. I was afraid of trainpling on every traveller I
met, and often called aloud to them to have them stand out
of the way, so that I had like to have gotten one or two
broken heads for my impertinence.
When I came to my own house, for which I was forced to
inquire, one of my servants opening the door, I bent down
to go in (like a goose under a gate), for fear of striking my
head. My wife ran out to embrace me, but I stooped lower
than her knees, thinking she could otherwise never be able to
reach my mouth. My daughter kneeled to ask my blessing,
but I could not see her till she arose, having been so long
used to stand with my head and eyes erect to above sixty
feet; and then I went to take her up with one hand by the
waist. I looked down upon the servants, and one or two
friends who were in the house, as if they had been pigmies,
and I a giant. I told my wife, "she had been too thrifty, for
I found she had starved herself and her daughter to nothing."
In short, I behaved myself so unaccountably that they were
all of the captain's opinion when he first saw me, and concluded
I had lost my wits. This I mention as an instance of the
great power of habit and prejudice.
'Twas his to mourn Misfortune's rudest shock;
Scourged by the winds and cradled on the rock,
To wake each joyless morn and search again
The famished haunts of solitary men,
Whose race unyielding as their native storm,
Know not a trace of nature but the form;
Yet at thy call the hardy tar pursued,
Pale, but intrepid, sad, but unsubdued,
Pierced the deep woods, and hailing from afar
The moon's pale planet and the northern star,
Paused at each dreary cry unheard before,
Hyenas in the wild and mermaids on the shore;
Till led by Hope o'er many a cliff sublime,
He found a warmer world, a milder clime,
A home to rest, a shelter to defend,
Peace and repose, a Briton and a friend
A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.
261
In a little time, I and my family and friends came to a right
understanding; but my wife protested I should never go to
sea any more; although my evil destiny so ordered, that she
had not power to hinder me, as the reader may know here-
after. In the mean time, I here concluded the Second Part
of my unfortunate Voyage.
PART III.
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA,
BALNIBARBI LUGGNAGG. GLUBBDUBDRIB AND JAPAN
VOYAGE TO LAPUTA,
PALNIBARBI, LUGGNAGG, GLUBBDRUBDRIB AND JAPAN,
CHAPTER I.
The Author sets out on his third voyage-Is taken by pirates-The malice of a
Dutchman-His arrival at an island-He is received in Laputa.
I HAD not been at home above ten days, when Captain
William Robinson, a Cornishman, commander of the Hope
well, a stout ship, of three hundred tons, came to my house.
I had formerly been surgeon of another ship, where he was
master and a fourth part owner, in a voyage to the Levant.
He had always treated me more like a brother than an infe-
rior officer; and hearing of my arrival, made me a visit, as I
apprehended only out of friendship, for nothing passed more
than what is usual after long absences. But repeating his
visits often, expressing his joy to find me in good health,
asking, “whether I were now settled for life," adding “that he
intended a voyage to the East Indies in two months," at last
* Dr. Swift seems to have borrowed several hints, in his Voyage to Laputa, from a
novel written by the learned Dr. Francis Godwin, Bishop of Llandaff, called "Man
In the Moon, or a Discourse of a Voyage thither, by Domingo Gonsales, 1688," 8vo.
This philosophic romance, which has been several times printed, shows that Bishop
Godwin had a creative genius. His "Nuncius Inanimatus," which contains
Instructions to convey secret intelligence, is very scarce. He died in April, 1633.-N.
12
265
266
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
be plainly invited me, though with some apologies, to be sur-
geon of the ship; "that I should have another surgeon under
me, beside our two mates; that my salary should be double
to the usual pay; and having experienced my knowledge in
sea affairs to be at least equal to his, he would enter into
an engagement to follow my advice, as much as if I had
shared in the command."
He said so many obliging things, and I knew him to be so
honest a man, that I could not reject the proposal; the thirst
I had of seeing the world, notwithstanding my past misfor-
tunes, continuing as violent as ever. The only difficulty that
remained, was to persuade my wife, whose consent, however,
I at last obtained, by the prospect of advantage she proposed
to her children.
We set out on the fifth day of August, 1706, and arrived
at Fort St. George the eleventh of April, 1707. We stayed
there three weeks to refresh our crew, many of whom were
sick. From thence we went to Tonquin, where the captain.
resolved to continue some time, because many of the goods he
intended to buy were not ready, nor could he expect to be dis-
patched for several months. Therefore, in hopes to defray some
of the charges he must be at, he bought a sloop, loaded it with
several sorts of goods, wherewith the Tonquinese usually trade
to the neighbouring islands, and putting fourteen men on
board, whereof three were of the country, he appointed me
master of the sloop, and gave me power to traffic, while ho
transacted his affairs at Tonquin.
We had not sailed above three days, when a great orm
arising, we were driven five days to the north-north-eat and
then to the east; after which we had fair weather, but still
with a pretty strong gale from the west. Upon the teath day
we were chased by two pirates, who soon overtook u; for my
sloop was so deeply laden, that she sailed very slov, neither
were we in a condition to defend ourselves.
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA,
ETC. 267
We were boarded about the same time by both the pirates'
ho entered furiously at the head of their men; but finding
us all prostrate upon our faces (for so I gave order), they
pinioned us with strong ropes, and setting a guard upon us,
went to search the sloop.
I observed among them a Dutchman, who seemed to be
of some authority, though he was not commander of either
ship. He knew us by our countenances to be Englishmen,
and jabbering to us in our own language, swore we should be
tied back to back and thrown into the sea. I spoke Dutch
tolerably well; I told him who we were, and begged him, in
consideration of our being Christians and Protestants, of our
neighbouring countries in strict alliance, that he would move
the captains to take some pity on us. This inflamed his rage;
he repeated the threatenings, and turning to his companions
spoke with great vehemence in the Japanese language, as I
suppose, often using the word Christianos.
The largest of the two pirate ships was commanded by a
Japanese captain, who spoke a little Dutch, but very imper-
fectly. He came up to me, and after several questions which
I answered in great humility, he said, "we should not die."
I made the captain a very low bow, and then, turning to the
Dutchman, said, "I was sorry to find more mercy in a heathen.
than in a fellow Christian." But I had soon reason to repent
those foolish words: for that malicious reprobate, having
often endeavoured in vain to persuade both the captains that
I might be thrown into the sea (which they would not yield to
after the promise made me that I should not die,) however,
prevailed so far, as to have a punishment inflicted on me,
worse, in all human appearance, than death itself. My men
were sent by an equal division into both the pirate ships, and
my sloop new manned. As to myself, it was determined 1
should be set adrift in a small canoe, with paddles and a sail
and four days' provisions; which last, the Japanese captain
268
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
was so kind as to double out his own stores, and would per-
mit no man to search me. I got down into the canoe, while
the Dutchman, standing upon the deck, loaded me with all
the curses and injurious terms his language could afford.
About an hour before we saw the pirates, I had taken an
observation, and found we were in the latitude of 46 N.
and longitude of 183. When I was at some distance from
the pirates, I discovered by my pocket glass, several islands to
the south-east. I set up my sail, the wind being fair, with a
design to reach the nearest of those islands, which I made a
shift to do, in about three hours. It was all rocky: how-
ever I got many birds' eggs, and striking fire, I kindled some
heath and dry sea-weed, by which I roasted my eggs. I ate
no other supper, being resolved to spare my provisions as much
as I could. I passed the night under the shelter of a rock,
strewing some heath under me, and slept pretty well.
The next day I sailed to another island, and thence to a
third and fourth, sometimes using my sail, sometimes my
paddles. But, not to trouble my reader with a particular
account of my distresses, let it suffice that on the fifth day I
arrived at the last island in my sight, which lay south-south-
east to the former.
This island was at a greater distance than I expected, and I
did not reach it in less than five hours. I encompassed it
almost round, before I could find a convenient place to land
in; which was a small creek, about three times the wideness
of my canoe. I found the island to be all rocky, only a little
intermingled with tufts of grass, and sweet-smelling herbs. I
took out my small provisions, and after having refreshed
myself, I secured the remainder in a cave, whereof there were
great numbers; I gathered plenty of eggs upon the rocks, and
got a quantity of dry sea-weed, and parched grass, which I
designed to kindle the next day, and roast my eggs as well as
I could, for I had about me my flint, steel, watch, and burning
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA,
ETC. 269
glass. I lay all night in the cave where I had lodged my pro-
visions. My bed was the same dry grass and sea-weed which
I intended for fuel. I slept very little, for the disquiets of my
mind prevailed over my weariness, and kept me awake. I
considered how impossible it was to preserve my life in so
desolate a place, and how miserable my end must be: yet
found myself so listless and desponding, that I had not the
heart to rise; and before I could get spirits enough to creep
out of my cave, the day was far advanced. I walked awhile
among the rocks: the sky was perfectly clear, and the sun so
hot, that I was forced to turn my face from it: when all on a
sudden it became obscure, as I thought, in a manner very
different from what happens by the interposition of a cloud.
I turned back, and perceived a vast opaque body between me
and the sun moving forward towards the island; it seemed to
be about two miles high, and hid the sun six or seven minutes;
but I did not observe the air to be much colder, or the sky
more darkened, than if I had stood under the shade of a
mountain. As it approached nearer over the place I was, it
appeared to be a firm substance, the bottom flat, smooth, and
shining very bright, from the reflection of the sea below. I
stood upon a height about two hundred yards from the shore,
and saw this vast body descending almost to a parallel with me,
at less than an English mile distance. I took out my pocket
perspective, and could plainly discover numbers of people
moving up and down the sides of it, which appeared to be
sloping; but what those people were doing I was not able to
distinguish.
The natural love of life gave me some inward motion of joy,
and I was ready to entertain a hope that this adventure might,
some way or other, help to deliver me from the desolate place
and condition I was in. But at the same time the reader can
hardly conceive my astonishment, to behold an island in the
270
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
air, inhabited by men, who were able (as it should seem) to
raise or sink, or put into progressive motion, as they pleased.
But not being at that time in a disposition to philosophize upon
this phenomenon, I rather chose to observe what course the
island would take, because it seemed for a while to stand still.
Yet soon after it advanced nearer, and I could see the sides of
it encompassed with several gradations of galleries, and stairs,
at certain intervals, to descend from one to the other. In the
lowest gallery, I beheld some people fishing with long angling-
rods, and others looking on. I waved my cap (for my hat was
long since worn out) and my handkerchief towards the island;
and upon its nearer approach, I called and shouted with the
utmost strength of my voice; and then looking circumspectly,
I beheld a crowd gathered to that side which was most in my
view. I found by their pointing towards me and to each
other, that they plainly discovered me, although they made
no return to my shouting. But I could see four or five men
running in great haste, up the stairs, to the top of the island,
who then disappeared. I happened rightly to conjecture,
that these were sent for orders, to some person in authority,
upon this occasion.
The number of people increased, and in less than half an
hour, the island was moved and raised in such a manner, that
the lowest gallery appeared in a parallel of less than a hun-
dred yards' distance from the height were I stood. I then
put myself in the most supplicating postures, and spoke in the
humblest accent, but received no answer. Those who stood
nearest over against me, seemed to be persons of distinction,
as I supposed by their habit. They conferred earnestly with
each other, looking often upon me. At length one of them
called out in a clear, polite, smooth dialect, not unlike in
sound to the Italian; and therefore I returned an answer in
that language, hoping at least that the cadence might be
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETO. 271
more agreeable to his ears. Although neither of us understood
the other, yet my meaning was easily known, for the people
saw the distress I was in.
They made signs for me to come down from the rock, and
go towards the shore, which I accordingly did; and the flying
island being raised to a convenient height, the verge directly
over me, a chain was let down from the lowest gallery, with a
Beat fastened to the bottom, to which I fixed myself, and was
drawn up by pulleys.
272
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS
A
CHAPTER II.
The humours and dispositions of the Laputians described-An account of thel:
learning-Of the king and his court-The author's reception there-The inhabit.
ants subject to fear and disquietudes-An account of the women.
Ar my alighting, I was surrounded with a crowd of people,
but those who stood nearest seemed to be of better quality.
They beheld me with all the marks and circumstances of
wonder, neither indeed was I much in their debt; having
never till then seen a race of mortals so singular in their shapes,
habits, and countenances. Their heads were all reclined,
either to the right, or the left; one of their eyes turned
inward, and the other directly up to the zenith.* Their out
ward garments were adorned with the figures of suns, moons,
and stars; interwoven with those of fiddles, flutes, harps.
trumpets, guitars, harpsichords, and many other instruments
of music unknown to us in Europe. I observed, here and
there, many in the habit of servants, with a blown bladder fast-
ened like a flail to the end of a stick, which they carried in
their hands. In each bladder was a small quantity of dried
peas, or little pebbles, as I was afterward informed. With
these bladders they now and then flapped the mouths and
ears of those who stood near them, of which practice I could
not then conceive the meaning. It seems the minds of these
people are so taken up with intense speculations, that they
*By this description the author intended to ridicule those who waste life in specu
lative sciences, the powers of whose minds are as absurdly employed as the eyes of
Laputians.-II,
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC. 273
neither can speak, nor attend to the discourses of others,
without being roused by some external taction upon the organs
of speech and hearing; for which reason, those persons who are
able to afford it always keep a flapper (the original is climen
ole) in their family, as one of their domestics; nor ever walk
alroad, or make visits, without him. And the business of this
officer is, when two, three, or more persons are in company,
gently to strike with his bladder the mouth of him who is to
speak, and the right ear of him or them to whom the speaker
addresses himself. This flapper is likewise employed diligently
to attend his master in his walks, and upon occasion to give
him a soft flap on his eyes; because he is always so wrapped
up in cogitation, that he is in manifest danger of falling
down every precipice, and bouncing his head against every
post; and in the streets, of justling others, or being justled
himself into the kennel.
It was necessary to give the reader this information, with-
out which he would be at the same loss with me to understand
the proceedings of these people, as they conducted me up the
stairs, to the top of the island, and from thence to the royal
palace. While we were ascending, they forgot several times
what they were about, and left me to myself, till their memo-
ries were again roused by their flappers: for they appeared
altogether unmoved by the sight of my foreign habit and coun
tenance, and by the shouts of the vulgar, whose thoughts and
minds were more disengaged.
At last we entered the palace, and proceeded into the cham-
ber of presence, where I saw the king seated on his throne,
attended on each side by persons of prime quality. Before
the throne, was a large table filled with globes and spheres,
and mathematical instruments of all kinds. His majesty took
not the least notice of us, although our entrance was not
without sufficient noise, by the concourse of all persons belong-
ing to the court. But he was then deep in a problem; and
12*
274
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
we attended at least an hour, before he could solve it. There
stood by him, on each side, a young page with flaps in their
hands, and when they saw he was at leisure, one of them
gently struck his mouth, and the other his right ear; at which
he startled like one awaked on the sudden, and looking
towards me and the company I was in, recollected the occa-
sion of our coming, whereof he had been informed before.-
He spoke some words, whereupon immediately a young man
with a flap came up to my side, and flapped me gently on the
right ear; but I made signs, as well as I could, that I had no
occasion for such an instrument; which, as I afterward found,
gave his majesty, and the whole court, a very mean opinion
of my understanding. The king, as far as I could conjecture,
asked me several questions, and I addressed myself to him in
all the languages I had. When it was found I could neither
understand nor be understood, I was conducted by his order
to an apartment in his palace (this prince being distinguished
above all his predecessors for his hospitality to strangers) where
servants were appointed to attend me. My dinner was brought,
and four persons of quality, whom I remember to have seen very
near the king's person, did me the honour to dine with me.-
We had two courses, of three dishes each. In the first course,
there was a shoulder of mutton cut into an equilateral triangle,
a piece of beef into a rhomboides, and a pudding into a cycloid.
The second course was two ducks trussed up in the form of
fiddles, sausages and puddings resembling flutes and hautboys,
and a breast of veal in the shape of a harp. The servants
cut our bread into cones, cylinders, parallelograms, and several
other mathematical figures.
While we were at dinner, I made bold to ask the names
of several things in their language, and those noble persons,
by the assistance of their flappers, delighted to give me answers,
hoping to raise my admiration of their great abilities, if I
could be brought to converse with them. I was soon able
to call for bread and drink, or whatever else I wanted
}
A VOYAGE TO LAPU. A, ETO. 275
After dinner my company withdrew, and a person was sent
to me by the king's order, attended by a flapper. He brought
with him, pen, ink, and paper, and three or four books, giving
me to understand, by signs, that he was sent to teach me the
language. We sat together four hours, in which time I
wrote down a great number of words in columns, with the
translations over against them: I likewise made a shift to
learn several short sentences; for my tutor would order som、
of my servants to fetch something, to turn about, to make a
bow, to sit, or to stand, or walk, and the like. Then I took
down the sentence in writing. He shewed me also, in one of
the books, the figures of the sun, moon, and stars, the zodiac,
the tropics, and polar circles, together with the denominations.
of many planes and solids. He gave me the names and des-
criptions of all their musical instruments, and the general
terms of art in playing on each of them. After he had left
me, I placed all my words, with their interpretations, in alpha-
betical order. And thus, in a few days, by the help of a very
faithful memory, I got some insight into their language.
The word, which I interpret the flying or floating island, is
in the original Laputa, whereof I could never learn the true
etymology. Lap, in the old obsolete language, signifies high;
and untuh, a governor; from which they say, by corruption.
was drived Laputa, from Lapuntuh. But I do not approve
of this derivation, which seems to be a little strained. I ven-
tured to offer to the learned among them a conjecture of my
own, that Laputa was quasi lapouted; lap, signifying pro-
perly, the dancing of the sun-beams in the sea, and outed, a
wing; which, however, I shall not obtrude, but submit to the
judicious reader.
Those to whom the king had intrusted me, observing how
ill I was clad, ordered a tailor to come next morning, and take
measure for a suit of clothes. This operator did his office
after a different manner from those of his trade in Eurove
276
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
I
He first took my altitude by a quadrant, and then, with rul
and compasses, described the dimension and outlines of my
whole body, all which he entered upon paper; and in six days
brought my clothes very ill made, and quite out of shape, by
happening to mistake a figure in the calculation. But my
comfort was, that I observed such accidents very frequent, and
little regarded.
During my confinement for want of clothes, and by an
indisposition that held me some days longer, I much enlarged
my dictionary; and when I went next to court, was able to
understand many things the king spoke, and to return him
some kind of answers. His majesty had given orders, that the
island should move north-east and by east, to the vertical point
over Lagado, the metropolis of the whole kingdom below, upon
the firm earth. It was about ninety leagues distant, and our
voyage lasted four days and a half. I was not in the least sen
sible of the progressive motion made in the air by the island.
On the second morning, about eleven o'clock, the king him-
self in person, attended by his nobility, courtiers, and officers,
having prepared all their musical instruments, played on them
for three hours without intermission, so that I was quite
stunned with the noise; neither could I possibly guess the
meaning, till my tutor informed me. He said, "that the
peo-
ple of their island had their ears adapted to hear the music
of the spheres, which always played at certain periods, and
the court was now prepared to bear their part, in whatever
instrument they most excelled."
In our journey towards Lagado, the capital city, his majesty
ordered that the island should stop over certain towns and
villages, from whence he might receive the petitions of his
subjects. And to this purpose, several packthreads were let
down, with small weights at the bottom. On these pack-
threads the people strung their petitions, which mounted
ap directly, like the scraps of paper fartened by schoolbovs
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC. 277
at the end of a string that holds their kite. Sometimes
we received wine and victuals from below, which were drawn
up by pulleys.
The knowledge I had in mathematics, gave me great
assistance in acquiring their phraseology, which depended
much upon that science, and music; and in the latter I was
not unskilled. Their ideas are perpetually conversant in lines
and figures. If they would, for example, praise the beauty
of a woman, or any other animal they describe it by rhombs,
circles, parallelograms, ellipses, and other geometrical terms,
or by words of art drawn from music, needless here to repeat.
I observed in the king's kitchen all sorts of mathematical and
musical instruments, after the figures of which they cut up
the joints that were served to his majesty's table.
Their houses are very ill built, the walls bevel without one
right angle in any apartment; and this defect arises from the
contempt they bear to practical geometry, which they despise
as vulgar and mechanic: those instructions they give being
too refined for the intellects of their workmen, which occasions
perpetual mistakes. And although they are dexterous enough
upon a piece of paper, in the management of the rule, the
pencil, and the divider, yet in the common actions and
behaviour of life, I have not seen a more clumsy, awkward,
and unhandy people, nor so slow and perplexed in their con
ceptions upon all other objects, except those of mathematics
and music. They are very bad reasoners, and vehemently
given to opposition, unless when they happen to be of the
right opinion, which is seldom their case. Imagination, fancy,
and invention, they are wholly strangers to, nor have any
words in their language, by which those ideas can be expressed;
the whole compass of their thoughts and mind being shut
up within the two forementioned sciences.
Most of them, and especially those who deal in the astro-
nomical part, have great faith in judicial astrology, although
278
GULLIVER 8 TRAVELS,
they are ashamed to own it publicly. But what I chiefly
admired, and thought altogether unaccountable, was the strong
disposition I observed in them towards news and politics,
perpetually inquiring into public affairs, giving their judg-
ments in matters of state, and passionately disputing every
inch of a party opinion. I have indeed observed the same
disposition among most of the mathematicians I have known
in Europe, although I could never discover the least analogy
between the two sciences, unless those people suppose, that
because the smallest circle has as many degrees as the largest,
therefore the regulation and management of the world require.
no more abilities than the handling and turning of a globe;
but I rather take this quality to spring from a very common
infirmity of human nature, inclining us to be most curious
and conceited in matters where we have least concern, and for
which we are least adapted by study or nature.
These people are under continual disquietudes, never enjoy-
ing a minute's peace of mind: and their disturbances proceed
from causes which very little affect the rest of mortals. Their
apprehensions arise from several changes they dread in the
celestial bodies: for instance, that the earth, by the continual
approaches of the sun towards it must, in course of time,
be absorbed, or swallowed up; that the face of the sun will,
by degrees, be encrusted by its own effluvia, and give no more
light to the world; that the earth very narrowly escaped a
brush from the tail of the last comet, which would have
infallibly reduced it to ashes; and that the next, which they
have calculated for one-and-thirty years hence, will probably
destroy us. For if, in its perihelion, it should approach within
a certain degree of the sun (as by their calculations they have
reason to dread), it will receive a degree of heat ten thousand
times more intense than that of red hot glowing iron; and,
in its absence from the sun, carrying a blazing tail ten hundred
thousand and fourteen miles long; through which, if the
A VOYAGE O LAPUTA, ETC. 279
earth should pass at the distance of one hundred thousand
miles from the nucleus, or main body of the comet, it must
in its passage be set on fire, and reduced to ashes: that the
sun, daily spending its rays without any nutriment to supply
them, will at last be wholly consumed and annihilated; which
must be attended with the destruction of this earth, and of all
the planets that receive their light from it.*
They are so perpetually alarmed with the apprehensions of
these, and the like impending dangers, that they can neither
sleep quiety in their beds, nor have any relish for the com-
mon pleasures and amusements of life. When they meet an
acquaintan∞ in the morning, the first question is about the
sun's health, how he looked at his setting and rising, and what
hopes they have to avoid the stroke of the approaching comet.
This conversation they are apt to run into with the same
temper that boys discover in delighting to hear terrible stories
of spirits and hobgoblins, which they greedily listen to, and
dare not go to bed for fear.
The women of the island have abundance of vivacity: they
contemn their husbands, and are exceedingly fond of strangers;
whereof there is always a considerable number from the con-
tinent below, attending at court either upon affairs of the
several towns and corporations, or their own particular
occasions, but are much despised, because they want the same
endowments. Among these the ladies choose their gallants;
but the vexation is, that they act with too much ease and
security; for the husband is always so rapt in speculation,
that the mistress and lover may proceed to the greatest
familiarities before his face, if he be but provided with paper
and implements, and without his flapper at his side.
The wives and daughters lament their confinement to the
island, although I think it the most delicio 3 spot of ground in
* All these were suppositions of persons eminent in their time for mathematical
nowledge.-H.
280
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
the world and although they live here in the greatest plenty
and magnificence, and are allowed to do whatever they please,
they long to see the world, and take the diversions of the
metropoles; which they are not allowed to do without a
particular license from the king; and this is not easy to be
obtained, because the people of quality have found, by frequent
experience, how hard it is to persuade their women to return
from below. I was told, that a great court lady, who had
several children,-is married to the prime minister, the rich-
est subject in the kingdom, a very graceful person, extremely
fond of her, and lives in the finest palace of the island,-
went down to Lagado on the pretense of health, there hid
herself for several months, till the king sent a warrant to
search for her; and she was found in an obscure eating-house
all in rags, having pawned her clothes to maintain an old
deformed footman, who beat her every day, and in whose
company she was taken, much against her will. And although
her husband received her with all possible kindness, and
without the least reproach, she soon after contrived to steal
down again; with all her jewels, to the same gallant, and has
not been heard of since.
This may perhaps pass with the reader rather for a Euro-
pean or English story, than for one of a country so remote.
But he may please to consider, that the caprices of woman-
kind are not limited to any climate or nation, and that they
are much more uniform than can be easily imagined.
In about a month's time I had made a tolerable proficiency
in their language, and was able to answer most of the king's
questions, when I had the honour to attend him. His
majesty discovered not the least curiosity to inquire into the
laws, government, history, religion, or manners of the countries
where I had been; but confined his questions to the state of
mathematics, and received the account I gave him with great
contempt and indifference, though often roused by his flapper
on each side.
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.
281
CHAPTER III.
phenomenon solved by modern philosophy and astronomy. The Laputians
great improvement in the latter. The king's method of suppressing insurrections.
I DESIRED leave of the prince to see the curiosities of the
island, which he was graciously pleased to grant, and ordered
my tutor to attend me. I chiefly wanted to know, to what
cause in art or in nature it owed its several motions, whereof
I will now give a philosophical account to the reader.
The flying or floating island is exactly circular, its diameter
7837 yards, or about four miles and a half, and consequently
contains ten thousand acres. It is three hundred yards thick.
The bottom, or under surface, which appears to those who
view it below, is one even regular plate of adamant, shooting
up to the height of above two hundred yards. Above it lie
the several minerals in their usual order, and over all is a
coat of rich mould, ten or twelve feet deep. The declivity
of the upper surface, from the circumference to the centre, is
the natural cause why all the dews and rains, which fall upon
the island, are conveyed in small rivulets towards the middle,
where they are emptied into four large basins, each of about
half a mile in circuit, and two hundred yards distance from
the centre. From these basins the water is continually
exhaled by the sun in the day-time, which effectually prevents
their overflowing. Besides, as it is in the power of the
monarch to raise the island above the region of clouds and
vapours, he can prevent the falling of dews and rain when
282
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
ever he pleases. For the highest clouds cannot rise above
two miles, as naturalists agree, at least they were never known
to do so in that country.
At the centre of the island there is a chasm about fifty
yards in diameter, whence the astronomers descend into a
large dome, which is therefore called flandona gagnole, or the
astronomer's cave, situated at the depth of a hundred yards
beneath the upper surface of the adamant. In this cave are
twenty lamps continually burning, which, from the reflection
of the adamant, cast a strong light into every part. The
place is stored with great variety of sextants, quadrants,
telescopes, astrolabes, and other astronomical instruments.
But the greatest curiosity, upon which the fate of the island
depends, is a loadstone of prodigious size, in shape resembling
a weaver's shuttle. It is in length six yards, and in the thickest
part at least three yards over. This magnet is sustained by
a very strong axle of adamant passing through its middle,
upon which it plays, and is poised so exactly that the weakest
hand can turn it. It is hooped round with a hollow cylinder
of adamant, four feet deep, as many thick, and twelve yards
in diameter, placed horizontally, and supported by eight
adarantine feet, each six yards high. In the middle of the
concave side, there is a groove twelve inches deep, in which
the extremities of the axle are lodged, and turn round as there
is occasion.
The stone cannot be removed from its place by any force,
because the hoop and its feet are one continued piece with
that body of adamant which constitutes the bottom of the
island.
By means of this loadstone the island is made to rise and
fall, and move from one place to another. For, with respect
to that part of the earth over which the monarch presides, the
stone is endued at one of its sides with an attractive power,
and at the other with a repulsive. Upon placing the magnet
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.
283
erect, with its attracting end towards the earth, the island
descends; but when the repelling extremity points downwards,
the island mounts directly upwards. When the position of the
stone is oblique, the motion of the island is so too: for in this
magnet, the forces always act in lines parallel to its direction.
By this oblique motion, the island is conveyed to different
points of the monarch's dominions. To explain the manner
of its progress, let A B represent a line drawn across the
dominions of Balnibarbi, let the line c d represent the load-
stone, of which let d be the repelling end, and c the attracting
end, the island being over C: let the stone be placed in
position c d with its repelling end downwards; then the
island will be driven upwards obliquely towards D. When
it is arrived at D, let the stone be turned upon its axle, till its
attracting end points towards E, and then the island will be
carried obliquely towards E; where, if the stone be again
turned upon its axle till it stands in the position E F, with its
repelling point downwards, the island will rise obliquely
towards F, where, by directing the attracting end towards G,
the island may be carried to G, and from G to H, by turning
the stone so as to make its repelling extremity point directly
downward. And thus by changing the situation of the stone,
as often as there is occasion, the island is made to rise and fall
by turns in an oblique direction, and by those alternate risings
and fallings (the obliquity being not considerable) is conveyed
from one part of the dominions to the other.
But it must be observed, that this land cannot move
beyond the extent of the dominions below, nor can it rise
above the height of four miles. For which the astronomers
(who have written large systems concerning the stone) assign
the following reason: that the magnetic virtue does not extend
beyond the distance of four miles, and that the mineral, which
sets upon the stone in the bowels of the earth, and in the sea
▸bout six leagues distant from the shore, is not diffused through
284
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
the whole globe, but terminated with the limits of the king's
dominions; and it was easy, from the great advantage of such
a superior situation, for a prince to bring under his obedience
whatever country lay within the attraction of that magnet.
When the stone is put parallel to the plane of the horizon,
the island stands still; for in that case the extremities of it,
being at equal distance from the earth, act with equal force,
the one in drawing downwards, and the other in pushing up-
wards, and consequently no motion can ensue.
This loadstone is under the care of certain astronomers,
who, from time to time, give it such positions as the monarch
directs. They spend the greatest part of their lives in
observing the celestial bodies, which they do by the assistance
of glasses, far excelling ours in goodness. For, although their
largest telescopes do not exceed three feet, they magnify
much more than those of a hundred with us, and shew the
stars with greater clearness. This advantage has enabled
them to extend their discoveries much farther than our astro-
nomers in Europe; for they have have made a catalogue of
ten thousand fixed stars, whereas the largest of ours does
not contain above one-third part of that number. They have
likewise discovered two lesser stars, or satellites, which re-
volve about Mars; whereof the innermost is distant from the
centre of the primary planet exactly three of his diameters,
and the outermost, five; the former revolves in the space of
ten hours, and the latter in twenty-one and a half; so that
the squares of their periodical times are very near in the
same proportion with the cubes of their distance, from the
centre of Mars; which evidently shews them to be governed
by the same law of gravitation that influences the other
heavenly bodies.
They have observed ninety-three different comets, and settled
their periods with great exactness. If this be true (and they
affirm it with great confidence) it is much to be wished, that
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.
285
eir observations were made public, whereby the theory of
comets, which at present is very lame and defective, might
be brought to the same perfection with other parts of astro-
nomy,
The king would be the most absolute prince in the universe,
if he could but prevail on a ministry to join with him; but
these having their estates below on the continent, and con-
sidering that the office of a favourite has a very uncertain
tenure, would never consent to the enslaving of their
country.
If any town should engage in rebellion or mutiny, fall into
violent factions, or refuse to pay the usual tribute, the king
has two methods of reducing them to obedience. The first
and the wildest course is, by keeping the island hovering
over such a town, and the lands about it, whereby he can
deprive them of the benefit of the sun and the rain, and con-
sequently afflict the inhabitants with dearth and diseases:
and if the crime deserve it, they are at the same time pelted
from above with great stones, against which they have no
defence but by creeping into cellars or caves, while the roofs
of their houses are beaten to pieces. But if they still con-
tinue obstinate, or offer to raise insurrections, he proceeds to
the last remedy, by letting the island drop directly upon their
heads, which makes a universal destruction both of houses
and men. However, this is an extremity to which the prince
is seldom driven, neither indeed is he willing to put it in
execution; nor dare his ministers advise him to an action,
which, as it would render them odious to the people, so it
would be a great damage to their own estates, which lie all
below; for the island is the king's demesne.
But there is still indeed a more weighty reason, why the
kings of this country have been always averse from executing
so terrible an action, unless upon the utmost necessity. For,
if the town intended to be destroyed should have in it any
286
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
}
tall rocks, as it generally falls out in the larger cities, a
situation probably chosen at first with a view to prevent such
a catastrophe; or if it abound in high spires, or pillars of
stone, a sudden fall might endanger the bottom or under
surface of the island, which, although it consists, as I have
said, of one entire adamant, two hundred yards thick, might
happen to crack by too great a shock, or burst by approach-
ing too near the fires from the houses below, as the backs,
both of iron and stone, will often do in our chimneys. Of all
this the people are well apprized, and understand how far to
carry their obstinacy, where their liberty or property is con-
cerned. And the king, when he is highest provoked, and
most determined to press a city to rubbish, orders the island
to descend with great gentleness, out of a pretence of tender-
ness to his people, but, indeed, for fear of breaking the
adamantine bottom; in which case, it is the opinion of all
their philosophers, that the loadstone could no longer hold it
up, and the whole mass would fall to the ground.
By a fundamental law of this realm, neither the king, nor
either of his two eldest sons, are permitted to leave the
island nor the queen, till she is past child bearing.
▲ VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC
287
CHAPTER IV.
The Author leaves Laputa; is conveyed to Balnibarbi; arrives at the metropolis
-A description of the metropolis, and the country adjoining-The Author hos-
pitably received by a great lord-His conversation with that lord.
ALTHOUGH I cannot say that I was ill treated in this island,
vet I must confess I thought myself too much neglected, not
without some degree of contempt; for neither prince nor
people appeared to be curious in any part of knowledge,
except mathematics and music, wherein I was far their
inferior, and upon that account very little regarded.
On the other side, after having seen all the curiosities of
the island, I was very desirous to leave it, being heartily
weary of those people. They were indeed excellent in two
sciences for which I have great esteem, and wherein I am not
unversed; but at the same time, so abstracted and involved
in speculation, that I never met with such disagreeable com-
panions. I conversed only with women, tradesmen, flappers,
and court-pages, during two months of my abode there, by
which, at last, I rendered myself extremely contemptible;
yet these were the only people from whom I could ever receive
a reasonable answer.
I had obtained, by hard study, a good degree of knowledge
in their language: I was weary of being confined to an island,
where I received so little countenance, and resolved to leave
it with the first opportunity.
There was a great lord at the court, nearly related to the
king, and for that reason alone used with respect. He was
+
288
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
universally reckoned the most ignorant and stupid person
among them. He had performed many eminent services for
the crown, had great natural and acquired parts, adorned with
integrity and honour; but so ill an ear for music, that his
detractors reported, "he had been often known to beat tinie
in the wrong place;" neither could his tutors, without extreme
difficulty, teach him to demonstrate the most easy proposi-
tions in the mathematics. He was pleased to show me many
marks of favour, often did me the honour of a visit, desired
to be informed in the affairs of Europe, the laws and customs,
the manners and learning of the several countries where I
had travelled. He listened to me with great attention, and
made very wise observations on all I spoke. He had two
flappers attending him for state, but never made use of them
except at court and in visits of ceremony; and would always
command them to withdraw, when we were alone together.
I entreated with this illustrious person to intercede in my
behalf with his majesty, for leave to depart; which he
accordingly did, as he was pleased to tell me, with regret:
for indeed he had made me several offers, very advantageous,
which however I refused, with expressions of the highest
acknowledgment.
On the 16th of February I took leave of his majesty and
the court. The king made me a present to the value of
about two hundred pounds English, and my protector, his
kinsman, as much more, together with a letter of recommen-
dation to a friend of his in Lagado, the metropolis: the
island being then hovering over a mountain about two miles
from it, I was let down from the lowest gallery, in the same
manner as I had been taken up.
The continent, as far as it is subject to the monarch of the
flying island, passes under the general name of Balnibarbi;
end the metropolis, as I said before, is called Lugado. I felt
some little satisfaction in finding myself on firm ground. I
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA,
ETC.
289
walked to the city without any concern, being clad like one
of the natives, and sufficiently instructed to converse with
them. I soon found out the person's house, to whom I was
recommended, presented my letter from his friend the grandee
in the island, and was received with much kindness. This
great lord, whose name was Munodi, ordered me an apart-
ment in his own house, where I continued during my stay,
and was entertained in a most hospitable manner.
The next morning after my arrival, he took me in his
chariot to see the town, which is about half the bigness of
London; but the houses very strangely built, and most of
them out of repair. The people in the streets walked fast,
looked wild, their eyes fixed, and were generally in rags.
We passed through one of the town gates, and went about
three miles into the country, where I saw many labourers
working with several sorts of tools in the ground, but was not
able to conjecture what they were about; neither did I
observe any expectation either of corn or grass, although the
soil appeared to be excellent. I could not forbear admiring
at these odd appearances, both in town and country; and I
made bold to desire my conductor, that he would be pleased
to explain to me, what could be meant by so many busy
heads, hands, and faces, both in the streets and in the fields,
because I did not discover any good effects they produced;
but, on the contrary, I never knew a soil so unhappily culti
vated, houses so il contrived and so ruinous, or a people
whose countenances and habits expressed so much misery
and want.
This Lord Munodi was a person of the first rank, and had
been some years governor of Lagado; but by a cabal of min-
isters, was discharged for inefficiency. However, the king
treated him with tenderness, as a well-meaning man, but of a
'ow contemptible understanding.
When I gave that free censure of the country and its inhab
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itants, he made no farther answer than by telling me, "that
I had not been long enough among them to form a judg
ment; and that the different nations of the world had diffe-
rent customs;" with other common topics to the same pur-
pose.
But when we returned to his palace, he asked me,
“how I liked the building, what absurdities I obɛerved, and
what quarrel I had with the dress or looks of his domes-
tics." This he might safely do; because every thing about
him was magnificent, regular, and polite. I answered, “that
his excellency's prudence, quality and fortune, had exempted
him from those defects, which folly and beggary had produc-
ed in others." He said, "if I would go with him to his coun-
try-house, about twenty miles distant, where his estate lay,
there would be more leisure for this kind of conversation." I
told his excellency "that I was entirely at his disposal," and
accordingly we set out next morning.
During our journey he made me observe the several me-
thods used by farmers in managing their lands, which to me
were wholly unaccountable; for except in some very few
places, I could not discover one ear of corn, or blade of grass.
But, in three hours' travelling, the scene was wholly altered;
we came into a most beautiful country: farmers' houses, at
small distances, neatly built; the fields enclosed, containing
vineyards, corn-grounds, and meadows. Neither do I remem-
ber to have seen a more delightful prospect. His excellency
observed my countenance to clear up; he told me with a
sigh, "that there his estate began, and would continue the
same, till we should come to his house, that his countrymen
ridiculed and despised him for managing his affairs no better,
and for setting so ill an example to the kingdom; which how-
ever, was followed by very few, such as were old, and wilful,
ard weak like himself."
We came at length to the house, which was indeed a
noble structure, built according to the best rules of architec.
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291
ture.
The fountains, gardens, walks, avenues. and groves,
were all disposed with exact judgment and taste. I gave due
praise to every thing I saw, whereof his excellency took not
the least notice till after supper; when, there being no third
companion, he told me with a very melancholy air "that he
doubted he must throw down his houses in town and country
to rebuild them after the present mode; destroy all his plan-
tations, and cast others into such a form as modern usage
required, and give the same directions to all his tenants unless
he would submit to incur the censure of pride, singularity,
affectation, ignorance, caprice, and perhaps increase hist
majesty's displeasure; that the admiration I appeared to be
under would cease or diminish, when he had informed me of
some particulars which probably I never heard of at court;
the people there being too much taken up in their own spec-
ulations, to have regard to what passed here below."
The sum of his discourse was to this effect: "that about
forty years ago, certain persons went up to Laputa, either
upon business or diversion, and, after five months' continuance,
came back with a very little smattering in mathematics, but
full of volatile spirits, acquired in that airy region: that these
persons, upon their return, began to dislike the management
of everything below, and fell into schemes of putting all arts,
sciences, languages, and mechanics, upon a new foot. To this
end, they procured a royal patent for erecting an academy
of projectors in Lagado; and the humour prevailed so strongly
among the people, that there is not a town of ary consequence
in the kingdom without such an academy. In these colleges
the professors contrive new rules and methods of agriculture
and building, and new instruments and tools for all trades and
manufactures; whereby, as they undertake one man shall do
the work of ten, a palace may be built in a week, of materials
so durable as to last for ever without repairing. All the fruits
of the earth shall come to maturity at whatever season we
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think fit to choose, and increase a hundred fold more than they
do at present; with innumerable other happy proposals. The
only inconvenience is, that none of these projects are yet
brought to perfection; and in the mean time, the whole country
lies miserably waste, the houses in ruins, and the people without
food or clothes. By all which, instead of being discouraged,
they are fifty times more violently bent upon prosecuting their
schemes, driven equally on by hope and despair: that as for
himself, being not of an enterprising spirit, he was content to
go on in the old forms, to live in the house his ancestors had
built, and act as they did, in every part of life, without innova-
tion that some few other persons of quality and gentry had
done the same, but were looked on with an eye of contempt.
and ill-will, as enemies to art, ignorant, and ill common-wealth's
men, preferring their own ease and sloth before the general
improvement of their country."
His lordship added, "that he would not, by any farther
particulars, prevent the pleasure I should certainly take in
viewing the grand academy, whither he was resolved I should
go." He only desired me to observe a ruined building, upon
the side of a mountain about three miles distant, of which he
gave me this account: "that he had a very convenient mill
within half a mile of his house, turned by a current from a
large river, and sufficient for his own family, as well as a great
number of his tenants; that about seven years ago, a club of
those projectors came to him with proposals to destroy this
mill, and build another on the side of that mountain, on the
long ridge whereof a long canal must be cut, for a repository
of water, to be conveyed up by pipes and engines, to supply
the mill because the wind and air upon a height agitated the
water, and thereby made it fitter for motion; and because the
water, descending down a declivity, would turn the mill with.
half the current of a river, whose course is more upon a level."
He said, “that being then not very well with the court, and
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETO. 299
pressed by many of his friends, he complied with the proposal :
and after employing a hundred men for two years, the work
miscarried, the projectors went off, laying the blame entirely
upon him, railing at him ever since, and putting others upon
the same experiment, with equal assurance of success, as well
as equal disappointment."
In a few days we came back to town; and his excellency,
considering the bad character he had in the academy, would
not go with me himself, but recommended me to a friend of
Lis, to bear me company thither. My lord was pleased to
represent me as a great admirer of projects, and a person of
much curiosity and easy belief: which, indeed was not
without truth: for I had myself been a sort of projector in my
vounger days.
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CHAPTER. V.
The Author permitted to see the grand academy of Lagado-The academy largely
described-The arts wherein the professors employ themselves.
THIS academy is not an entire single building, be a con-
tinuation of several houses on both sides of a street, which
growing waste, was purchased and applied to that use.
I was received very kindly by the warden, and went for
many days to the academy. Every room has in it one or
more projectors; and I believe I could not be in fewer than
five hundred rooms.
The first man I saw was of a meagre aspect, with sooty
hands and face, his hair and beard long, ragged, and singed
in several places. His clothes, shirt, and skin, were all of
the same colour. He had been eight years upon a project for
extracting sunbeams out of cucumbers, which were to be put
in phials hermetically sealed, and let out to warm the air
in raw inclement summers. He told me, he did not doubt,
that in eight years more, he should be able supply the
governor's gardens with sunshine, at a reasonable rate; but
he complained that his stock was low, and entreated me “to
give him something as an encouragement to ingenuity,
especially since this had been a very dear season for cucum-
bers." 1 made him a small present, for my lord had furnished
me with money on purpose, because he knew their practice of
begging from all who go to see them.
I went into another chamber, but was ready to hasten back,
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC
295
being almost overcome with a horrible stink. My conductor
pressed me forward, conjuring me in a whisper "to give nc
offence, which would be highly resented;" and therefore I durst
not so much as stop my nose. The projector of this cell was the
most ancient student of the academy; his face and beard were
of a pale yellow; his hands and clothes daubed over with filth.
When I was presented to him, he gave me a close embrace;
a compliment I could well have excused. His employment,
from his first coming into the academy, was an operation to
reduce human excrement to its original food, by separating
the several parts, removing the tincture which it receives from
the gall, making the odour exhale, and scumming off the
saliva. He had a weekly allowance, from the society, of a
vessel filled with human ordure, about the bigness of a Bristol
barrel.
I saw another at work to calcine ice into gunpowder; who
likewise shewed me a treatise he had written concerning the
malleability of fire, which he intended to publish.
There was a most ingenious architect, who had contrived
a new method for building houses, by beginning at the roof
and working downward to the foundation; which he justified
to me, by the like practice of those two prudent insects, the
bee and the spider.
There was a man born blind, who had several apprentices
in his own condition: their employment was to mix colours
for painters, which their masters taught them to distinguish,
by feeling and smelling. It was indeed any misfortune to find
them at that time not very perfect in their lessons, and the
professor himself happened to be generally mistaken. This
artist is much encouraged and esteemed by the whole frater
nity
In another apartment, I was highly pleased with a projector
who had found a device of ploughing the ground with hogs,
to save the charges of ploughs, cattle, and labour.
↓
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GULLIVER S TRAVELS.
is this in an acre of ground you bury, at six inches' dis
tance and eight deep, a quantity of acorns, dates, chesnuts,
and other mast or vegetables, whereof these animals are
fondest; then you drive six hundred of them into the field,
where, in a few days, they will root up the whole ground in
search of their feed, and make it fit for sowing, at the same
time manuring it with their dung: it is true, upon experiment,
they found the charge and trouble very great, and they had
little or no crop. However, it is not doubted, that his inven-
tion may be capable of great improvement.
I went into another room, where the walls and ceiling were
all hung round with cobwebs, except a narrow passage for the
artist to go in and out. At my entrance he called aloud to
me, "not to disturb his webs." He lamented "the fatal mistake
the world had been so long in, of using silk worms, while we
had such plenty of domestic insects who infinitely excelled
the former, because they understood how to weave, as well as
spin." And he proposed farther, "that by employing spiders,
the charge of dyeing silk should be wholly saved;" whereof I
was fully convinced, when he shewed me a vast number of
flies most beautifully coloured, wherewith he fed his spiders,
assuring us "that the webs would take a tincture from them;
and as he had had them of all hues, he hoped to fit every
body's fancy, as soon as he could find proper food for the flies,
certain of gums, oils, and other glutinous matter, to give a
strength and consistence to the threads."
There was an astronomer, who had undertaken to place a
sun-dial upon the great weathercock on the town-house, by
adjusting the annual and diurnal motions of the earth and sun,
so as to answer and coincide with all accidental turnings of
the wind.
I was complaining of a small fit of the colic, upon which my
conductor led me into a room where a great physician resided,
who was famous for curing that disease, by contrary operations
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC. 297
from the same instrument. He had a large pair of bellows,
with a long slender muzzle of ivory; this he conveyed eight
inches up the anus, and drawing in the wind, he affirmed he
could make the guts as lank as a dried bladder. But when
the disease was more stubborn and violent, he let in the muzzle
while the bellows were full of wind, which he discharged into
the body of the patient; then withdrew the instrument to
replenish it, clapping his thumb strongly against the orifice of
the fundament; and this being repeated three or four times,
the adventitious wind would rush out, bringing the noxious
along with it (like water put into a pump), and the patient
recovered. I saw him try both experiments upon a dog, but
could not discern any effect from the former. After the latter,
the animal was ready to burst, and made so violent a dis-
charge as was very offensive to me and my companion. The
dog died on the spot, and we left the doctor endeavouring to
recover him, by the same operation.
1 visited many other apartments, but shall not trouble my
reader with all the curiosities I observed, being studious of
brevity.
I had hitherto seen only one side of the academy, the other
being appropriated to the advancers of speculative learning,
of whom I shall say something, when I have mentioned one
illustrious person more, who is called among thein "the univer-
sal artist." He told us "he had been thirty years employing
his thoughts for the improvement of human life." He had
two large rooms full of wonderful curiosities, and fifty men at
work. Some were condensing air into a dry tangible sub-
stance, by extracting the nitre, and letting the aqueous or
fluid particles percolate; others softening marble, for pillows
and pin-cushions; others petrifying the hoofs of a living horse,
to preserve them from foundering. The artist himself was at
that time busy upon two great designs; the first, to sow land
with chaff, wherein he affirmed the true seminal virtue to ba
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contained, as he demonstrated by several experiments, which I
was not skilful enough to comprehend. The other was, by a
certain composition of gums, minerals, and vegetable, out-
wardly applied, to prevent the growth of wool upon two young
lambs; and he hoped, in a reasonable time, to propagate the
breed of naked sheep, all over the kingdom.
We crossed a walk to the other part of the academy, whore,
as I have already said, the projectors in speculative learning
resided.
The first professor I saw was in a very large room, with
forty pupils about him. After salutation, observing me to
look earnestly upon a frame, which took up the greatest part
of both the length and breadth of the room, he said, "Perhaps
I might wonder to see him employed in a project for improv-
ing speculative knowledge, by practical and mechanical oper-
ations. But the world would soon be sensible of its usefulness;
and he flattered himself, that a more noble exalted thought
never sprang in any other man's head. Every one knew how
laborious the usual method is of attaining to arts and sciences;
whereas, by his contrivance, the most ignorant person, at a
reasonable charge, and with a little bodily labour, might
write books in philosophy, poetry, politics, laws mathematics,
and theology, without the least assistance from genius or study."
He then led me to the frame, about the sides whereof all his
pupils stood in ranks. It was twenty feet square, placed in
the middle of the room. The superficies was composed of
several bits of wood, about the bigness of a die, but some
larger than others. They were all linked together by slender
wires. These bits of wood were covered, on every square, with
paper pasted on them; on these papers were written all the
words of their language, in their several moods, tenses, and
declensions; but without any order. The professor then desired
me "to observe; for he was going to set his engine at work.”
The pupils, at his command, took each of them hold of an inor
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC. 299
nandle, whereof there were forty fixed round the edges of the
frame; and giving them a sudden turn, the whole disposition.
of the words was entirely changed. He then commanded six-
and-thirty of the lads, to read the several lines softly, as they
appeared on the frame; and where they found three or four
words together that might make part of a sentence they dic-
tated to the four remaining boys, who were scribes. This
work was repeated three or four times; and at every turn, the
the engine was so contrived, that the words shifted into new
places, as the square bits of wood moved upside down.
Six hours a day the young students were employed in this
labour; and the professor shewed me several volumes in large
folio, already collected of broken sentences, which he intended
to piece together, and out of these rich materials, to give
the world a complete body of all arts and sciences; which,
however, might be still improved and much expedited, if the
public would raise a fund for making and employing five hun-
dred such frames in Lagado, and oblige the managers to con-
tribute in common their several collections.
He assured me "that the invention had employed all his
thoughts from his youth; that he had entered the whole
vocabulary into his frame, and made the strictest computation
of the general proportion there is in books between the num-
bers of particles, nouns, and verbs, and other parts of speech."
I made my humblest acknowledgement to this illustrious
person, for his great communicativeness; and promised, “if
ever I had the good fortune to return to my native country,
that I would do him justice, as the sole inventor of this won-
derful machine;" the form and contrivance of which I desired
leave to delineate on paper, as in the figure here annexed. I
told him, "although it was the custom of our learned in
Europe to steal inventions from each other, who had thereby
at least this advantage, that it be tame a controversy which
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GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
was the right owner; yet I would take such caution, that he
should have the honour entire without a rival.”
We next went to the school of languages where three pro-
fessors sat in consultation upon improving that of their own
country.
The first project was, to shorten discourse, by cutting poly
syllables into one, and leaving out verbs and participles;
because, in reality, all things imaginable are but nouns.
The other project was, a scheme for entirely abolishing all
words whatsoever; and this was urged as a great advantage
in point of health, as well as brevity. For it is plain, that
every word we speak, is in some degree, a diminution of our
lungs by corrosion; and consequently contributes to the short-
ening our lives. An expedient was therefore offered, "that
since words are only names for things, it would be more
convenient for all men to carry about them such things as
were necessary to express a particular business they are to
discourse on." And this invention would certainly have
taken place, to the great ease as well as health of the subject,
if the women, in conjunction with the vulgar and illiterate,
had not threatened to raise a rebellion unless they might be
allowed the liberty to speak with their tongues after the
manner of their forefathers; such constant irreconcilable
enemies to science are the common people. However, many
of the most learned and wise adhere to the new scheme of
expressing themselves by things; which has only this incon-
venience attending it, that if a man's business be very great,
and of various kinds, he must be obliged, in proportion,
to carry a greater bundle of things upon his back, unless he
can afford one or two strong servants to attend him. 1.ave
often beheld two of these sages almost sinking under the
weight of their packs, like pedlars anong us; who, then
they met in the street, would lay down their loads, oper their
packs, and hold conversation for an hour together
then
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.
301
put up their implements, help each other to resume their
burdens, and take their leave.
But for short conversations, a man may carry implements.
in his pockets, and under his arms, enough to supply him;
and in his house, he cannot be at a loss. Therefore the room
where company meet to practise this art, is full of all things,
ready at hand, requisite to furnish matter for this kind of
artificial converse.
Another great advantage proposed by this invention, was
that it would serve a universal language, to be understood in
all civilized nations, whose goods and utensils are generally
of the same kind, or nearly resembling, so that their uses
might easily be comprehended. And thus ambassadors would
be qualified to treat with foreign princes, or ministers of state
to whose tongues they were utter strangers.
I was at the mathematical school, where the master
taught his pupils after a method scarce imaginable to us in
Europe. The proposition, and demonstration, were fairly
written on a thin wafer, with ink composed of a cephalic
tincture. This the student was to swallow upon a fasting
stomach, and for three days following eat nothing but bread
and water. As the wafer digested, the tincture mounted to his
brain, bearing the proposition along with it. But the success
has not hitherto been answerable, partly by some error in the
quantum or composition, and partly by the perverseness of
lads, to whom this bolus is so nauseous, that they generally
steal aside, and discharge it upwards, before it can operate;
neither have they yet been persuaded to use so long ar aksti.
nence as the prescription requires.
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!
CHAPTER VI.
A further account of the academy-The Author proposes some improvements,
which are honourably received.
In the school of political projectors, I was but ill entertain-
ed; the professors appearing, in my judgment, wholly out of
their senses; which is a scene that never fails to make me
melancholy. These unhappy people were proposing schemes
for persuading monarchs to choose favourites upon the score
of their wisdom, capacity, and virtue; of teaching ministers
to consult the public good; of rewarding merit, great abilities,
and eminent services; of instructing princes to know their
true interest, by placing it on the same foundation with that
of their people; of choosing for employments, persons qualified
to exercise them; with many other wild impossible chimeras,
that never entered before into the heart of a man to conceive;
and confirmed in me the old observation, "that there is noth-
ing so extravagant and irrational, which some philosophers
have not maintained for truth."
But, however, I shall so far do justice to this part of the
academy, as to acknowledge that all of them were not so
visionary. There was a most ingenious doctor, who seemed
to be perfectly versed in the whole nature and system of
government. This iliustrious person had very usefully
employed his studies, in finding out effectual remedies for all
diseases and corruptions, to which the several kinds of public
administration are subject, by the vices or infirmities of those
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC. 303
who govern, as well as by the licentiousness of those who are
to obey. For instance; whereas all writers and reasoners
have agreed, that there is a strict universal resemblance
between the natural and the political body; can there be
any thing more evident, than that the health of both must be
preserved, and the disease cured, by the same prescriptious?
It is allowed, that senates and great councils are often troubled
with redundant, ebullient, and other peccant humours; with
many diseases of the head, and more of the heart; with
strong convulsions, with grievous contractions of the nerves.
and sinews in both hands, but especially the right; with
spleen, flatus, vertigoes, and deliriums; with scrofulous.
tumours, full of fetid purulent matter; with sour frothy
eructations; with canine appetites, and crudeness of digestion,
besides many others, needless to mention. This doctor there-
fore proposed," that upon the meeting of the senate, certain
physicians should attend at the three first days of their sit-
ting, and at the close of each day's debate feel the pulses of
every senator; after which, having maturely considered and
consulted upon the nature of the several maladies, and the
methods of cure, they should on the fourth day return to
the senate-house, attended by their apothecaries stored with
pr. por medicines; and before the members sat, administer to
each of them lenitives, aperients, abstersives, corrosives,
restringents, palliatives, laxatives, cephalalgics, icterics, aph-
phlegmatics, acoustics, as their several cases required; and,
according as these medicines should operate, repeat, alter, or
omit them, at the next meeting."
This project could not be of any great expense to the pub-
lic; and might, in my poor opinion, be of much use for the
dispatch of business, in those countries where senates have
any share in the legislative power; beget unanimity, shorten
debates, open a few mouths which are now closed, and close
many moro which are now open; curb the petu'ancy of the
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young, and correct the positiveness of the old; rouse the
stupid, and damp the pert.
Again because it is a general complaint, that the favour-
ites of princes are troubled with short and weak memories;
the same doctor proposed, "that whoever attended a first
minister, after having told his business, with the utmost brevity
and in the plainest words, should, at his departure, give the
said minister a tweak by the nose, or a kick on the belly, or
tread on his corns, or lug him twice by both ears, or run a
pin into his breech, or pinch his arm black and blue, to prevent
forgetfulness; and at every levee day to repeat the same
operation, till the business were done, or absolutely refused."
He likewise directed, "that every senator in the great coun-
cil of a nation, after he had delivered his opinion and argued
in the defence of it, should be obliged to give his vote directly
contrary; because if that were done, the result would infal-
libly terminate in the good of the public."
When parties in a state are violent, he offered a wonderful
contrivance to reconcile them. The method is this: you take
a hundred leaders of each party; you dispose them into
couples of such whose heads are nearest of a size; then let
two nice operators saw off the occiput of each couple at the
same time, in such a manner, that the brain may be equally
divided. Let the occiputs, thus cut off, be interchanged,
applying each to the head of his opposite party-man. It
seems indeed to be a work that requires some exactness, but
the professor assured us, "that if it were dexterously performed,
the cure would be infallible." For he argued thus: "that the
two half brains being left to debate the matter between theur-
selves within the space of one skull, would soon come to a
good understanding; and produce that moderation, as well as
regularity of thinking, so much to be wished for in the heads.
of those, who imagine they come into the world only to watch
and govern its motion: and as to the difference of brains, ir
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC. 305
quantity or quality, among those who are directors in faction,"
the doctor assured us, from his own knowledge, “hat it was
a perfect trifle."
I heard a very warm debate between two professors, about
the most commodious and effectual ways and means of raising
money, without grieving the subject. The first affirmed, "the
justest method would be, to lay a certain tax upon vices and
folly; and the sum fixed upon every man to be rated, after
the fairest manner, by a jury of his neighbours." The second
was of an opinion directly contrary; "to tax those qualities
of body and mind, for which men chiefly value themselves:
the rate to be more or less, according to the degrees of
excelling; the decision whereof should be left entirely to their
own breast." The highest tax was upon men who are the
greatest favourites of the other sex, and the assessments,
according to the number and nature of the favours they have
received; for which, they are allowed to be their own vouch-
ers. Wit, valour, and politeness, were likewise proposed to
be largely taxed, and collected in the same manner, by every
person's giving his own word for the quantum of what he
possessed. But as to honour, justice, wisdom, and learning,
they should not be taxed at all; because they are qualifications
of so singular a kind, that no man will either allow them in
his neighbour or value them in himself.
The women were proposed to be taxed according to their
beauty and skill in dressing, wherein they had the same
privilege with the men, to be determined by their own judg-
ment. But constancy, chastity, good sense, and good nature,
were not rated, because they would not bear the charge of
collecting.
To keep senators in the interest of the crown, it was pro-
posed that the members shall raffle for employments; every
man first taking an oath, and giving security, that he would
vote for the court, whether he won cr not; after which,
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the losers had, in their turn, the liberty of raffling upon the
next vacancy. Thus, hope and expectation would be kept
alive; none would complain of broken promises, but impute
their disappointments wholly to fortune, whose shoulders are
broader and stronger than those of a ministry.
Another professor showed me a large paper of instructions
for discovering plots and conspiracies against the government.
He advised great statesmen to examine into the diet of all
suspected persons; their times of eating; upon which side
they lay in bed; with which hand they wiped their posteriors;
take a strict view of their excrements, and from the colour.
the odour, the taste, the consistence, the crudeness or maturity
of digestion, form a judgment of their thoughts and designs;
because men are never so serious, thoughtful, and intent, as
when they are at stool, which he found by experience for,
in such conjunctures, when he used, merely as a trial, to con-
sider which was the best way of murdering the king, his
ordure would have a tincture of green but quite different
when he thought only of raising an insurrection, or burning
the metropolis.
The whole discourse was written with great acuteness
containing many observations, both curious and useful for
politicians; but, as I conceived, not altogether complete.
This I ventured to tell the author, and offered, if he pleased
to supply him with some additions. He received my pro-
position with more compliance than is usual among writers,
especially those of the projecting species; professing "ho
would be glad to receive further information."
I told him, "that in the kingdom of Tribnia, by the natives
called Langden, where I had sojourned some time in m
travels, the bulk of the people consist in a manner wholly o
discoverers, witnesses, informers, accusers, prosecutors, evi-
dences, swearers, together with their several subservient and
subaltern instruments, all under the colours, the contract, and
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA 2
ETC. 307
the pay of ministers of state, and their deputies. The plots,
in that kingdom, are usually the workmanship of those per-
sons who desire to raise their own characters of profound
politicians; to restore new vigour to a crazy administration ;
to stifle or divert general discontents; to fill their coffers with
forfeitures; and raise or sink the opinion of publie credit, as
either shall answer their private advantage. It is first agreed
and settled among them, what suspected persons shall be
accused of a plot; then effectual care is taken to secure all
their letters and papers, and put the owners in chains. These
papers are delivered to a set of artists, very dexterous in
finding out the mysterious meanings of words, syllables, and
letters: for instance, they can discover a close stool, to signify
a privy-council; a flock of geese, a senate; a lame dog, an
invader; the plague, a standing army; a buzzard, a prime
minister; the gout, a high priest; a gibbet, a secretary of
state; a chamber-pot, a committee of grandees; a sieve, a
court lady; a broom a revolution; a mouse-trap, an employ-
ment; a bottomless pit, a treasury; a sink, a court; a cap,
and bells, a favourite; a broken reed, a court of justice; an
empty tun, a general; a running sore, the administration.
"When this method fails, they have two others more effec-
tual, which the learned among them call acrostics and ana-
grams. First, they can decipher all initial letters into politi-
cal meanings. Thus, N shall signify a plot; B, a regiment
of horse; L, a fleet at sea: or secondly, by transposing the
letters of the alphabet in any suspected paper, they can lay
open the deepest designs of a discontented party. So, for
example, if I should say in a letter to a friend, 'Our brother
Tom has just got the piles,' a skilful decipherer would dis-
cover, that the same letters which compose that sentence,
See the proceedings against Dr. Atterbury, bishop of Rochester, in the State
Trials, vol. vi.-H.
308
GULLIVER S TRAVELS.
may be analyzed into the following words, 'Resist—a plot is
brought home-The tour.' And this is the anagrammatic
method."
The professor made me great acknowledgments for com-
municating these observations, and promised to make honour-
able mention of me in his treatise.
I saw nothing in this country that could invite me to a lon-
ger continuance, and began to think of returning home to
England.
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC. 309
CHAPTER. VII.
The Author leaves Lagado, arrives at Maldonada-No ship ready-He takes a
voyage to Glubbdubdrib-His reception by the governor.
·
THE continent, of which this kingdom is a part, extends
itself as I have reason to believe, eastward, to that unknown
tract of America westward of California; and north to the
Pacific Ocean, which is not above a hundred and fifty miles
from Lagado; where there is a good port, and much com-
merce with the great island of Luggnagg, situated to the
north-west about 29 degrees north latitude, and 140 longi-
tude. This island of Luggnagg stands south-eastward of
Japan, about a hundred leagues distant. There is a strict al-
liance between the Japanese emperor and the king of Lugg-
nagg; which affords frequent opportunities of sailing from one
island to the other. I determined therefore to direct my course
this way, in order to my return to Europe. I hired two
mules, with a guide to show me the way, and carry my small
baggage. I took leave of my noble protecter who had shewn
me so much favour, and made me a generous present at my
departure.
My journey was without any accident or adventure worth
relating. When I arrived at the port of Maldonada (for so it
is called) there was no ship in the harbour bound for Lugg-
nagg, nor likely to be in some time. The town is about as
large as Portsmouth. I soon fell into some acquaintance, and
was very hospitably received. A gentleman of distinction.
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GULLIVER S TRAVELS.
aid to me, "that since the ships bound for Luggnagg could
not be ready in less than a month, it might be no disagreeable
amusement for me to take a trip to the little island of Glubb-
dubdrib, about five leagues off to the south-west." He offered
himself and a friend to accompany me, and that I should be
provided with a small convenient bark for the voyage.
Glubbdubdrib, as near as I can interpret the word, signifies
the island of sorcerers or magicians. It is about one-third
as large as the Isle of Wight, and extremely fruitful: it is
governed by the head of a certain tribe, who are all magi-
cians. This tribe marries only among each other, and the
eldest in succession is prince or governor. He has a noble
palace, and a park of about three thousand acres, surrounded
by a wall of hewn stone twenty feet high. In this park are
several small enclosures for cattle, corn, and gardening.
The governor and his family are served and attended by
domestics of a kind somewhat unusal. By his skill in necro-
mancy, he has a power of calling whom he pleases from the
dead, and commanding their service for twenty-four hours,
but no longer; nor can he call the same persons up again in
less than three months, except upon very extraordinary occa-
sions.
When we arrived at the island, which was about eleven in
the morning, one of the gentlemen who accompanined me
went to the governor, and desire admittance for a stranger,
who came on purpose to have the honour of attending on his
highness. This was immediately granted, and we all three
entered the gate of the palace between two rows of
guards armed and dressed after a very antick manner, and
something in their countenances that made my flesh creep with
a horror I cannot express. We passed through several apart-
ments, between servants of the same sort, ranked on each side
as before, till we came to the chamber of presence; where,
after three profound obeisances, and a few general questions,
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC. 311
we were permitted to sit on three stools, near the lowest step
of his highnesss throne. He understood the language of
Balinbarbi, although it was different from that of this island.
He desired me to give him some account of my travels; and,
to let me see that I should be treated without ceremony, he
dismissed all his attendants with a turn of his finger; at which, to
my great astonishment, they vanished in an instant, like visions
in a dream when we awake on a sudden. I could not recover
myself in some time till the governor assured me," that I should
receive no hurt :" and observing my two companions to be under
no concern, who had been often entertained in the same manner,
I began to take courage, and related to his highness a short his-
ory of my several adventures, yet not without some hesitation,
and frequently looking behind me to the place where I had seen
those domestic spectres. I had the honour to dine with the
governor, where a new set of ghosts served up the meat, and
waited at table. I now observed myself to be less terrified
than I had been in the mornig. I strayed till sunset, but
bumbly desired his highness to excuse me for not accepting
his invitation of lodging in the palace. My two friends and
I lay at a private house in the town adjoining, which is the
capital of this little island; and the next morning we retured to
pay our duty to the governor as he was pleased to command
us.
After this manner we continued in the island for ten days,
most part of every day with the governor, and at night in
our lodging. I soon grew so familiarized to the sight of
spirits, that after the third or fourth time they gave me no
emotion at all; or if I had any apprehensions left, my curiosity
prevailed over them. For his highness the governor ordered
me to call up whatever persons I would choose to name, and
in whatever numbers, among all the dead from the beginning
of the world to the present time, and command them to answer
any questions I should think fit to ask; with this condition
312
GULLIVER'S TRAVEL8.
that my questions must be confined within the compass of the
times they lived in. And one thing I might depend upon,
that they would certainly tell me the truth, for lying was a
talent of no use in the lower world.
I made my humble acknowledgments to his highness for
so great a favour. We were in a chamber, from whence
there was a fair prospect into the park. And because my
first inclination was to be entertained with scenes of pomp and
magnificence, I desired to see Alexander the Great at the
head of his army, just after the battle of Arbela: which, upon
a motion of the governor's finger, immediately appeared in a
large field, under the window where we stood. Alexander
was called up into the room; it was with great difficulty that
I understood his Greek,* and had but little of my own. Ho
assured me upon his honour, that he was not poisoned, but died
of a bad fever by excessive drinking.t
Next, I saw Hannibal passing the Alps, who told me, "he
had not a drop of vinegar in his camp."
I saw Cæsar and Pompey at the head of their troops, just
ready to engage. I saw the former, in the last great triumph.
I desired that the senate of Rome might appear before me,
in one large chamber, and a modern representative in counter-
view, in another. The first seemed to be an assembly of heroes
and demi-gods; the other, a knot of pedlars, pickpockets,
highwaymen, and bullies.
A hint from Gulliver that we have lost the true Greek idiom.-Orrery.
In this passage there is a peculiar beauty, though it is not discovered at a hasty
view. The appearance of Alexander with a victorious army immediately after the
battle of Arbela, produces only a declaration that he died by drunkenness; thus
Inadequate and ridiculous to the eye of reason is that ultimate purpose for which
Alexander with his army marched into a remote country, subverted a mighty empire,
and deluged a nation with blood: he gained no more than an epithet to his name,
which, after a few repetitions, was no longer regarded even by himself. Thus the
purpose of his resurrection appears to be at least equally important with that of his
life, upon which it is a satire not more bitter than just.-H.
Livy, the Roman historian, has related, that Hannibal burnt a great pile of
wood upon a rock that stopped his passage, and when it was thus heated poured
vinegar upon it by which it was made so soft as to be easily cut through.-U.
**
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC. 313
The
governor, at my request, gave the sign for Cæsar and
Brutus to advance towards us. I was struck with a profound
veneration at the sight of Brutus, and could easily discover
the most consummate virtue, the greatest intrepidity and firm-
ness of mind, the truest love of his country, and general bene-
volence of mankind, in every lineament of his countenance.
I observed, with much pleasure, that these two persons were in
good intelligence with each other; and Cæsar freely confessed
to me, "that the greatest actions of his own life were not
equal, by many degrees, to the glory of taking it away." I had
the honour to have much conversation with Brutus; and was
told," that his ancestor Junius, Socrates, Epaminondas, Cato
the younger,'* Sir Thomas More, and himself, were perpetually
together" a sextumvirate, to which all the ages of the world
cannot add a seventh.
It would be tedious to trouble the reader with relating what
vast numbers of illustrious persons were called up, to gratify
that insatiable desire I had to see the world in every period of
antiquity placed before me. I chiefly fed mine eyes with
beholding the destroyers of tyrants and usurpers, and the res-
torers of liberty to oppressed and injured nations. But it is
impossible to express the satisfaction I received in my own
mind, after such a manner as to make it a suitable entertain-
ment to the reader.
* I am in some doubt whether Cato the censor can fairly claim a rank among so
choice a group of ghosts.—Orrery. This note of his lordship is an encomium on
the judgment of our author, who knew that Cato the censor and Cato the younger
were very different persons, and for good reason preferred the latter.-H.
*
14
314
GULLIVER'S TRAVEL §.
CHAPTER VIII.
A farther account of Glubbdubdrib—Ancient and modern history corrected.
HAVING a desire to see those ancients who were most
renowned for wit and learning, I set apart one day on purpose.
I proposed that Homer and Aristotle ruight appear at the
head of all their commentators; but these were so numerous,
that some hundreds were forced to attend in the court, and
outward rooms of the palace. I knew, and could distinguish
those two heroes, at first sight, and not only from the crowd,
but from each other. Homer was the taller and comelier
person of the two, walked very erect for one of his
age, and
his eyes were the most quick and piercing I ever beheld.
Aristotle stooped much, and made use of a staff. His visage
was meagre, his hair lank and thin, and his voice hollow.*
I soon discovered that both of them were perfect strangers to
the rest of the company, and had never seen or heard of them
before; and I had a whisper from a ghost who shall be
nameless, "that these commentators always kept in the most
distant quarters from their principals, in the lower world,
through a consciousness of shame and guilt, because they
This description of Aristotle is fine, and, in a few words, represents the true
nature of his works. By not having the immortal spirit of Homer, he was unable
to keep his body erect; and his staff, which feebly supported him, like his commen-
tators, made this defect more conspicuous. He wanted not some useful qualities,
but these real ornaments, like his hair, were thin and ungraceful.-Orrery. In
this the noble commentator seems to be mistaken, for it cannot be believed, that
Aristotle's real ornaments, however few, were ungraceful.-H.
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC
315
had so horribly misrepresented the meaning of those authors
to posterity." I introduced Didymus and Eustathius to
Homer, and prevailed on him to treat them better than
perhaps they deserved, for he soon found they wanted a
genius to enter into the spirit of a poet. But Aristotle was
out of all patience with the account I gave him of Scotus and
Ramus, as I presented them to him; and he asked them,
"whether the rest of the tribe were as great dunces as them-
selves ?"
I then desired the governor to call up Descartes and Gas-
sendi, with whom I prevailed to explain their systems to
Aristotle. This great philosopher freely acknowledged his
own mistakes in natural philosophy, because he proceeded in
many things upon conjecture, as all men must do; and he
found that Gassendi, who had made the doctrine of Epicurus
as palatable as he could, and the vortices of Descartes, were
equally to be exploded. He predicted the same fate to
attraction, whereof the present learned are such zealous
assertors. He said, " that new systems of nature were but new
fashions, which would vary in every age; and even those, who
pretend to demonstrate them from mathematical principles,
would flourish but a short period of time, and be out of vogue
when that was determined.”
#
I spent five days in conversing with many others of the
ancient learned. I saw most of the Roman emperors. I
prevailed on the governor to call up Heliogabalus's cooks to
dress us a dinner, but they could not shew us much of their
skill, for want of materials. A helot of Agesilaus made us a
dish of Spartan broth, but I was not able to get down a
second spoonful.
The two gentlemen, who conducted me to the island, were
pressed by their private affairs to return in three days, which
I employed in seeing some of the modern dead, who had
made the greatest figure, for two or three hundred years past,
316
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
in our own and other countries of Europe; and having been
always a great admirer of old illustrious families, I desired
the governor would call up a dozen or two of kings, with
their ancestors in order for eight or nine generations. But
my disappointment was grievous and unexpected. For, instead
of a long train with royal diadems, I saw in one family two
fiddlers, three spruce courtiers, and an Italian prelate. In
another, a barber, an abbot, and two cardinals. I have too
great a veneration for crowned heads to dwell any longer on
so nice a subject. But as to counts, marquises, dukes, earls,
and the like, I was not so scrupulous. And I confess, it was
not without some pleasure, that I found myself able to trace
the particular features, by which certain families are distin-
guished, up to their originals. I could plainly discover
whence one family derives a long chin; why a second.
has abounded with knaves for two generations, and fools
for two more; why a third happened to be crack-
brained, and a fourth to be sharpers: whence it came,
what Polydore Virgil says of a certain great house.
Nec vir fortis, nec fœmina casta; how cruelty, falsehood,
and cowardice, grew to be characteristics, by which certain
families are distinguished as much as by their coats of arms;
who first brought the pox into a noble house, which has
lineally descended in scrofulous tumours to their posterity.
Neither could I wonder at all this, when I saw such an
interruption of lineages, by pages, lackeys, valets, coachmen,
gamesters, fiddlers, players, captains, and pickpockets.
I was chiefly disgusted with modern history. For having
strictly examined all the persons of greatest name in the
courts of princes, for a hundred years past, I found how the
world had been misled by prostitute writers, to ascribe the
greatest exploits in war, to cowards; the wisest counsel, to
fools; sincerity, to flatterers; Roman virtue, to betrayers of
their country; piety, to atheists; chastity to sodomites'
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC. 317
truth, to informers: how many innocent and excellent persons
had been condemned to death or banishment, by the practising
of great ministers upon the corruption of judges, and the
malice of factions; how many villains had been exalted to
the highest places of trust, power, dignity, and profit: how
great a share in the motions and events of courts, councils,
and senates, might be challenged by bawds, whores, pimps,
parasites, and buffoons. How low an opinion I had of human
wisdom and integrity, when I was truly informed of the
springs and motives of great enterprises and revolutions in
the world, and of the contemptible accidents to which they
owed their success!
Here I discovered the roguery and ignorance of those who
pretend to write anecdotes, or secret history; who send so
many kings to their graves with a cup of poison; will repeat
the discourse between a prince and chief minister, where no
witness was by; unlock the thoughts and cabinets of ambas-
sadors and secretaries of state; and have the perpetual mis-
fortune to be mistaken. Here I discovered the true causes
of many great events that have surprised the world; how a
whore can govern the back-stairs, the back-stairs a council,
and the council a senate. A general confessed in my presence,
"that he got a victory purely by the force of cowardice and
ill conduct;" and an admiral, "that for want of proper intelli-
gence, he beat the enemy, to whom he intended to betray the
fleet." Three kings protested to me, "that in their whole
reigns they never did once prefer any person of merit, unless
by mistake, or treachery of some minister in whom they con-
fided: neither would they do it if they were to live again:"
and they shewed me with great strength of reason, "that the
royal throne could not be supported without corruption,
because that positive, confident, restive temper, which virtue
infused into a man, was a perpetual clog to public business."
I had the curiosity to inquire, in a particular manner, by
318
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
what methods great members had procured to themselves
high titles of honour, and prodigious estates; and I confined
my inquiry to a very modern period: however, without grat-
ing upon present times, because I would be sure to give no
offence even to foreigners: for I hope the reader need not be
told, that I do not in the least intend my own country, in
what I say upon this occasion. A great number of persons
concerned were called up; and, upon a very slight examina-
tion, discovered such a scene of infamy, that I cannot reflect
upon it without some seriousness. Perjury, oppresion, subor-
nation, fraud, pandarism, and the like infirmities, were
among the most excusable arts they had to mention; and for
these I gave, as it was reasonable, great allowance. But when
some confessed they owed their greatness and wealth to
sodomy, or incest; others, to the prostituting of their own
wives and daughters; others, to the betraying of their country
or their prince; some, to poisoning; more to the perverting of
justice, in order to destroy the innocent: I hope I may be
pardoned, if these discoveries inclined me a little to abate of
that profound veneration, which I am naturally apt to pay to
persons of high rank, who ought to be treated with the
utmost respect due to their sublime dignity, by us their
inferiors.
I had often read of some great services done to princes and
states, and desired to see persons by whom those services were
performed. Upon inquiry, I was told, "that their names were
to be found on no record, except a few of them, whom history
has represented as the vilest of rogues and traitors." As to
the rest, I had never once heard of them. They all appeared
with dejected looks, and in the meanest habit; most of them
telling me, "they died in poverty and disgrace," and the rest
on a scaffold or on a gibbet.
Among others, there was one person, whose case appeared
a little singular. He had a youth about eighteen years old
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.
319
standing by his side. He told me "he had for many years
been commander of a ship; in the sea-fight at Actium had the
good fortune to break through the enemy's great line of
battle, sink three of their capital ships, and take a fourth,
which was the sole cause of Antony's flight, and of the victory
that ensued; that the youth standing by him, his only son,
was killed in the action." He added, "that upon the confi-
dence of some merit, the war being at an end, he went to
Rome and solicited at the court of Augustus to be preferred to
a greater ship, whose commander had been killed; but with-
out any regard to his pretensions, it was given to a boy who
had never seen the sea, the son of Libertina, who waited on
one of the emperor's mistresses. Returning back to his own
vessel, he was charged with neglect of duty, and the ship
given to a favourite page of Publicola, the vice admiral;
whereupon he retired to a small farm at a great distance from
Rome, and there ended his life." I was so curious to know
the truth of this story, that I desired Agrippa might be called,
who was admiral in that fight. He appeared, and confirmed
the whole account; but with much more advantage to the
captain, whose modesty had extenuated or concealed a great
part of his mert.
I was surprised to find corruption grown so high and so
quick in that empire, by the force of luxury so lately intro-
duced, which made me less wonder at many parallel cases in
other countries, where vices of all kinds have reigned so much
longe, and where the whole praise, as well as pillage, has
been engrossed by the chief commander, who perhaps had
the least title to honour.
As every person called up made exactly the same appear-
ance he had done in the world, it gave me melancholy reflec-
uons to observe, how much the race of human kind was
degenerated among us, within these hundred years past; how
the pox, under all its consequences and denominacions, had
320
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
altered every lineament of an English countenance; shortene
the size of bodies, unbraced the nerves, relaxed the sinews and
muscle, introduced a sallow complexion, and rendered the flesh
loose and rancid.
I descended so low, as to desire some English yeomen of
the old stamp might be summoned to appear; once so famous
for the simplicity of their manners, diet, and dress; for justice
in their dealings; for their true spirit of liberty; for their
valour, and love of their country. Neither could I be wholly
unmoved, after comparing the living with the dead, when I
considered how all these pure native virtues were prostituted
for a piece of money by their grandchildren; who, in selling
their votes and managing at elections, have acquired every
vice and corruption that can possibly be learned in a court.
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.
321
CHAPTER IX.
The Author returns to Maldonada-Sails to the kingdom of Luggnagg-The Author
confined-He is sent for to court-The manner of his admittance-The king's
great lenity to his subjects.
THE day of our departure being come, I took leave of his
highness, the governor of Glubbdubdrib, and returned with my
two companions to Maldonada, where, after a fortnight's wait-
ing, a ship was ready to sail for Luggnagg. The two gentle-
men, and some others, were so generous and kind as to furnish
me with provisions, and see me on board. I was a month in
this voyage. We had one violent storm, and were under a
necessity of steering westward to get into the tradewind,
which holds for about sixty leagues. On the 21st of April,
1708, we sailed into the river of Clumegnig, which is a sea-
port town, and made a signal for a pilot. Two of them came
on board in less than half an hour, by whom we were guided
between certain shoals and rocks, which are very dangerous in
the passage, to a large bason, where a fleet may ride in safety
within a cable's length of the town-wall.
Some of our sailors, whether out of treachery or inadver
tence, had informed the pilots " that I was a stranger, and a
great traveller;" whereof these gave notice to a custom-house
officer, by whom I was examined very strictly upon my land-
ing. This officer spoke to me in the language of Balni
barbi, which, by the force of much commerce, is generally
understood in that town, especially by seamen and those
14*
322
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
employed in the customs. I gave him a short account of
some particulars, and made my story as plausible and consis-
tent as I could; but I thought it necessary to disguise my
country, and call myself a Hollander: because my intentions
were for Japan, and I knew the Dutch were the only Euro-
peans permitted to enter into that kingdom. I therefore told
the officer," that having been shipwrecked on the coast of
Balnibarbi, and cast on a rock, I was received up into Lupu-
ta, or the flying island (of which he had often heard), and
was now endeavouring to get to Japan, whence I might find
a convenience of returning to my own country." The officer
said, "I must be confined till he could receive orders from
court, for which he would write immediately, and hoped to
receive an answer in a fortnight. I was carried to a conven-
ient lodging, with a sentry placed at the door; however, I had
the liberty of a large garden, and was treated with humanity
enough, being maintained all the time at the king's charge.
I was visited by several persons, chiefly out of curiosity,
because it was reported that I came from countries very
remote, of which they had never heard.
I hired a young man, who came in the same ship, to be an
interpreter; he was a native of Luggnagg, but had lived some
years at Maldonada, and was a perfect master of both lan-
guages. By his assistance, I was able to hold a conversation
with those who came to visit me; but this consisted only of
their questions, and my answers.
The dispatch came from court about the time we expected.
It contained a warrant for conducting me and my retinue to
Traldragdabh, or Trildrogdrib (for it is pronounced both
ways as near as I can remember), by a party of ten horse.
All my retinue was that poor lad for an interpreter, whom I per-
suaded into my service, and, at my humble request, we had
each of us a mule to ride on. A messenger was dispatched
half a day's journey before us, to give the king notice of my
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ) ETC.
323
approach; and to desire," that his majesty would please to
appoint a day and hour, when it would be his gracious plea-
sure that I might have the honour to lick the dust before his
footstool." This is the court style, and I found it to be more
than matter of form; for upon my admittance two days after
my arrival, I was commanded to crawl upon my belly and
lick the floor as I advanced; but on account of my being a
stranger, care was taken to have it made so clean, that the
dust was not offensive. However, this was a pecular grace,
not allowed to any but persons of the highest rank, when
they desire an admittance. Nay, sometimes the floor is
strewed with dust on purpose, when the person to be admit-
ted happens to have powerful enemies at court; and I have
seen a great lord with his mouth so crammed, that when he
had crept to the proper distance from the throne, he was not
able to speak a word. Neither is there any remedy, because
it is capital for those, who receive an audience, to spit or
wipe their mouths in his majesty's presence. There is indeed
another custom, which I cannot altogether approve of: when
the king has a mind to put any of his nobles to death in a
gentle indulgent manner, he commands the floor to be strew-
ed with a certain brown powder of a deadly composition,
which being licked up, infallibly kills him in twenty-four
hours. But in justice to this prince's great clemency, and
the care he has of his subjects' lives (wherein it were much
to be wished that the monarchs of Europe would imitate
him), it must be mentioned for his honour, that strict orders
are given to have the infected parts of the floor well washed
after every such execution, which, if his domestics neglect,
they are in danger of incurring his royal displeasure. I my-
self heard him give directions, that one of his pages should
be whipped, whose turn it was to give notice about washing
the floor after an execution, but maliciously had omitted it:
by which neglect, a young lord of great hopes, corning to an
❤
324
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
audience, was unfortunately poisoned, although the king at
that time had no design against his life. But this good
prince was so gracious as to forgive the poor page his whip
ping, upon promise that he would do so no more, without
special orders.
To return from this digression, when I had crept within
four yards of the throne, I raised myself gently upon my
knees, and then striking my forehead seven times against the
ground, I pronounced the following words, as they had been
taught me the night before, Inckpling gloffthrobb squnt
serumm blhiop mlashnalt zwin tnodbalkuff hslhiophad gurd-
lubh asht. This is the compliment, established by the laws
of the land, for all persons admitted to the king's presence.
It may be rendered into English thus: "May your celestial
majesty outlive the sun, eleven moons and a half!" To this
the king returned some answer, which, although I could not
understand, yet I replied as I had been directed: Flute drin
yalerick dwnldom prastrad mirpush, which properly sig-
nifies," My tongue is in the mouth of my friend?" and by this
expression was meant that I desired leave to bring my inter-
preter: whereupon the young man, already mentioned, was
accordingly introduced; by whose intervention I answered as
many questions as his majesty could put in above an hour. I
spoke in the Balnibarbian tongue, and my interpreter deliver-
ed my meaning in that of Luggnagg. The king was much
delighted with my company, and ordered his bliffmarklub, or
high chamberlain, to appoint a lodging in the court for me
and my interpreter; with a daily allowance for my table, and
a large piece of gold for my common expenses.
I stayed three months in this country, out of perfect obedi-
ence to his majesty; who was pleased highly to favour me,
and made me very honourable offers. But I thought it more
consistent with prudence and justice to pass the remainder of
my days with my wife and family.
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.
325
CHAPTER X.
The Luggnaggians commended-A particular description of the Struldburgs, with
many conversations between the Author and some eminent persons upon that
subject.
THE Luggnaggians are a polite and generous people; and
although they are not without some share of that pride which
is peculiar to all Eastern countries, yet they show themselves
courteous to strangers, especially such as are countenanced by
the court. I had many acquaintances, and among persons of
the best fashion; and being always attended by my interpreter,
the conversation we had was not disagreeable.
One day, in much good company, I was asked by a person
of quality, "whether I had seen any of their struldbrugs, or
immortals?" I said, "I had not ;" and desired he would explain
to me what he meant by such an appellation, applied to a mortal
creature. He told me, that sometimes, though very rarely, a
child happened to be born in a family, with a red circular spot
in the forehead, directly over the left eye-brow, which was
an infallible mark that it should never die. The spot," as he
described it, "was about the compass of a silver threepence,
but in the course of time grew larger, and changed its colour;
for at twelve years old it became green, so continued till five-
and-twenty, then turned to a deep blue; at five-and-forty it
grew coal black, and as large as an English shilling; but
never admitted any farther alteration." He said, "these births
were so rare, that he did not believe there could be abore
eleven hundred struldbrugs, of both sexes, in the whole king
326
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
dom; of which he computed about fifty in the metropolis
and among the rest, a young girl born about three years ago:
that these productions were not peculiar to any family, but a
mere effect of chance; and the children of the struldbrugs
themselves were equally mortal with the rest of the people."
I freely own myself to have been struck with inexpressibl
delight upon hearing this account: and the person who gave
it me happening to understand the Balnibarbian language,
which I spoke very well, I could not forbear breaking out into
expressions, perhaps a little too extravagant. I cried out, as
in a rapture, "Happy nation, where every child has a
least a chance of being immortal! Happy people, who
enjoy so many living examples of ancient virtue, and have
masters ready to instruct them in the wisdom of all former
ages! but happiest, beyond all comparison, are those excellent
struldbrugs, who, being born exempt from that universal
calamity of human nature, have their minds free and dis-
engaged, without the weight and depression of spirits caused
by the continual apprebensions of death. I discovered my
admiration, “that I had not observed any of these illustrious
persons at court; the black spot on the forehead being so re-
markable a distinction, that I could not have easily overlooked
it: and it was impossible that his majesty, a most judicious
prince, should not provide himself with a good number of
such wise and able counsellors. Yet perhaps the virtue of
those reverend sages was too strict for the corrupt and liber-
tine manners of a court: and we often find, by experience,
that young men are too opinionated and volatile, to be guided
by the sober dictates of their seniors. However, since the
king was pleased to allow me access to his royal person, I was
resolved, upon the very first occasion, to deliver my opinion to
him on this matter freely and at large, by the help of my
interpreter; and whether he would please to take my advice
or not, yet in one thing I was determined that his majesty
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC. 327
having frequently offered me an establishment in this country,
I would, with great thankfulness, accept the favour, and pass
my life here in the conversation of those superior beings the
struldbrugs, if they would please to admit me."
The gentleman to whom I addressed my discourse, because
(as I have already observed) he spoke the language of Bal-
ibarbi, said to me, with a sort of a smile which usually arises
from them to the ignorant, "that he was glad to be of any
occasion to keep me among them, and desired my permission
to explain to the company what I had said." He did so, and
they talked together for a long time in their own language,
whereof I understood not a syllable, neither could I observe
by their countenances, what impression my discourse had
made on them. After a short silence, the same person told
me, "that his friends and mine (so he thought fit to express
himself) were very much pleased with the judicious remarks I
had made on the great happiness and advantages of immortal
life, and they were desirous to know, in a particular manner,
what scheme of living I should have formed to myself, if it
had fallen to my lot to have been born a struldbrug."
I answered, "it was easy to be eloquent on so copious and
delightful a subject, especially to me, who had been often apt
to amuse myself with visions of what I should do, if I were a
king, a general, or a great lord: and upon this very case I
had frequently run over the whole system how I should
employ myself, and pass the time, if I were sure to live for ever.
"If it had been my fortune to come into the world a struld-
brug, as soon as I could discover my own happiness, by
understanding the difference between life and death, I would
first resolve, by all arts and methods whatsoever, to procure
myself riches in pursuit of which by thrift and management,
I might reasonably expect in about two hundred years, to be
the wealthiest man in the kingdom. In the second place, !
would, from my earliest youth, apply myself to the study of arte
:
328
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
and sciences, by which I should arrive in time to excel all
others in learning. Lastly, I would carefully record every
action and event of consequence, that happened in the public,
impartially draw the characters of the several successions of
princes and great ministers of state, with my own observations
on every point. I would exactly set down the several changes
in custom, language, fashions of dress, diet, and diversions, by
all which acquirements, I should be a great treasure of know-
ledge and wisdom, and certainly become the oracle of the
nation.
"I would never marry after threescore, but live in an
hospitable manner, yet still on the saving scale. I would
entertain myself in forming and directing the minds of
hopeful young men, by convincing them, from my own
remembrance, experience, and observation, fortified by nume
rous examples, of the usefulness of virtue in public and
private life. But my choice and constant companions should
be a set of my own immortal brotherhood; among whom, I
would elect a dozen from the most ancient, down to my own
contemporaries. Where any of these wanted fortunes, I
would provide them with convenient lodges round my own
estate, and have some of them always at my table; only
mingling a few of the most valuable among you mortals,
whom length of time would harden me to lose with little or
no reluctance, and treat your posterity after the same mau-
ner; just as a man diverts himself with the annual succes
sion of pinks and tulips in his garden, without regretting the
loss of those which withered the preceding year.
"These struldbrugs and I would mutually communicate
our observations and memorials, through the course of time;
remark the several gradations by which corruption steals into
the world, and oppose it in every step, by giving perpetua
warning and instruction to mankind: which, added to the
strong influence of our own example, would probably prevent
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.
329
that continual degeneracy of human nature, so justly com-
plained of in all ages.
"Add to this, the pleasure of seeing the various revolutions
of states and empires; the changes in the lower and upper
world; ancient cities in ruins, and obscure villages become
the seats of kings; famous rivers lessening into shallow
brooks; the ocean leaving one coast dry, and overwhelming
another; the discovery of many countries yet unknown;
barbarity overrunning the politest nations, and the most
barbarous become civilized. I should then see the discovery
of the longitude, the perpetual motion, the universal medicine,
and many other great inventions, brought to the utmost
perfection.
“What wonderful discoveries should we make in astronomy,
by outliving and confirming our own predictions; by observ-
ing the progress and returns of comets, with the changes of
motion in the sun, moon, and stars!"
I enlarged upon many other topics, which the natural
desire of endless life, and sublunary happiness, could easily
furnish me with. When I had ended, and the sum of my
discourse had been interpreted, as before, to the rest of the
company, there was a good deal of talk among them in the
language of the country, not without some laughter at my
expense. At last, the same gentleman who had been my
interpreter, said, "He was desired by the rest to set me right
in a few mistakes, which I had fallen into through the com-
mon imbecility of human nature, and upon that allowance
was less answerable for them. That this breed of struldbrugs
was peculiar to their country, for there were no such people
either in Baltibarbi or Japan where he had the honour to
be ambassader from his majesty, and found the natives in
both these kingdoms very hard to believe that the fact was
possible and it appeared from any astonishment when he
first mentioned the matter to me, that I received it as a thing
330
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
wholly new, and scarcely to be credited. That in the two
kingdoms above-mentioned, where during his residence he
had conversed very much, he observed long life to be the
universal desire and wish of mankind. That whoever had
one foot in the grave was sure to hold back the other as
strongly as he could. That the oldest had still hopes of
living one day longer, and looked on death as the greatest
evil, from which nature always prompted him to retreat.
Only in this island of Luggnagg the appetite for living was
not so eager, from the continual example of the struldbrugs
before their eyes.
"That the system of living contrived by me, was unreason-
able and unjust; because it supposed a perpetuity of youth,
health, and vigour, which no man could be so foolish to hope,
however extravagant he may be in his wishes.* That the
question therefore was not, whether a man would choose to
be always in the prime of youth, attended with prosperity
and health; but how he would pass a perpetual life, under
all the usual disadvantages which old age brings along with
it; for although few men will avow their desires of being
immortal, upon such hard conditions, yet in the two king-
doms before mentioned, of Balnibarbi and Japan, he observed
that every man desired to put off death some time longer, let
it approach ever so late: and he rarely heard of any man
who died willingly, except he were incited by the extremity
of grief or torture. And he appealed to me, whether in those
countries I had travelled, as well as my own, I had not
observed the same general disposition."t
To this it may possibly be objected, that the perpetuity of youth, health, and
vigour, would be less a prodigy than the perpetuity of life in a body subject to
gradual decay, and might therefore be hoped without greater extravagance of
folly; but the sentiment here expressed is that of a being to whom immortality,
though not perpetual youth, was familiar, and in whom the wish of a perpetual
youth only would have been extravagant, because that only appeared from facta
to be impossible -H.
+ If it be said, that although the folly of desiring life to be prolonged urder the
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC. 331
After this preface, he gave me a particular account of the
struldbrugs among them. He said, "they commonly acted
like mortals till about thirty years old; after which, by
degrees, they grew melancholy and dejected, increasing in
both till they came to fourscore. This he learned from their
own confession: for otherwise, there not being above two or
three of that species born in an age, they were too few to
form a general observation by. When they came to fourscore
years, which is reckoned the extremity of living in this
country, they had not only all the follies and infirmities of
other old men, but many more which arose from the dreadful
prospect of never dying. They were not only opinionative,
peevish, covetous, morose, vain, talkative; but incapable of
friendship, and dead to all natural affection, which never
descended below their grandchildren. Envy, and impotent
desires, are their prevailing passions. But those objects
against which their envy seems principally directed, are the
vices of the younger sort, and the deaths of the old. By
reflecting on the former, they find themselves cut off from all
possibility of pleasure; and whenever they see a funeral,
they lament and repine that others are gone to a harbour of
rest, to which they themselves never can hope to arrive.
They have no remembrance of anything, but what they learn-
ed and observed in their youth and middle age, and even that
is very imperfect; and for the truth or particulars of any fact,
it is safer to depend on common tradition, than upon their
best recollections. The least miserable among them, appear
disadvantages of old age, is here finely exposed; yet the desire of terrestrial
immortality, upon terms on which alone in the nature of things it is possible, an
exemption from disease, accident, and decay, is tacitly allowed: it may be answer
ed, that as we grow old by imperceptible degrees, so for the most part we grow old
without repining; and every man is ready to profess himself willing to die, when
he shalt be overtaken by the decrepitude of age in some future period: yet wheu
every other eye sees that this period is arrived, he is still tenacious of life, and
murmurs at the condition upon which he received his existence. To reconcile
old age therefore to the thoughts of a dissolution, appears to be all that was
necessary in a moral writer for practical purposes.-H.
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GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
to be those who turn to dotage, and entirely lose their
memories; these meet with more pity and assistance. because
they want many bad qualities which abound in otners.
"If a struldbrug happen to marry one of his own kind, the
marriage is dissolved of course, by the courtesy of the king-
dom, as soon as the younger of the two comes to be four-
score; for the law thinks it a reasonable indulgence, that
those who are condemned, without any fault of their own, to
a perpetual continuance in the world, should not have their
misery doubled by the load of a wife.
"As soon as they have completed the term of eighty years,
they are looked on as dead in law; their heirs immediately
succeed to their support; and the poor ones, are maintained
at the public charge. After that period, they are held incapa-
ble of any employment of trust or profit; they cannot purchase
lands, or take leases; neither are they allowed to be witnesses.
in any cause, either civil or criminal, not even for the decision
of meers and bounds.
"At ninety, they lose their teeth and hair; they have at
that age no distinction of taste, but eat and drink whatever
they can get, without relish or appetite. The diseases they
were subject to still continue, without increasing or diminish-
ing. In talking, they forget, the common appellation of things,
and the names of persons, even of those who are their nearest
friends and relations. For the same reason, they never can
amuse themselves with reading, because their memory will
not serve to carry them from the beginning of a sentence to
the end; and by this defect, that are deprived of the only
entertainment, whereof they might otherwise be capa-
ble.
"The language of this country being always upon the flux,
the struldbrugs of one age do not understand those of another;
neither are they able, after two hundred years, to hold any
conversation (farther than by a few general words) with their
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA,
333
ETC.
neighbours the mortals; and thus they lie under the disadvan-
tage of living like foreigners in their own country."
This was the account given me of the struldbrugs, as near as
I can remember. I afterwards saw five or six of different ages,
the youngest not above two hundred years old, who were
brought to me at several times by some of my friends; but
although they were told, "that I was a great traveller, and
had seen all the world," they had not the least curiosity to
ask me a question; only desired "I would give them slums-
kudask, or a token of remembrance;" which is a modest way
of begging, to avoid the law, that strictly forbids it, because
they are provided for by the public, although indeed with a
very scanty allowance.
They are despised and hated by all sorts of people. When
one of them is born, it is reckoned ominous, and their birth
is recorded very particularly so that you may know their age
by consulting the register, which, however, has not been kept
above a thousand years past, or at least has been destroyed
by time or public disturbances. But the usual way of com-
puting how old they are, is by asking them what kings or
great persons they can remember, and then consulting history;
for infallibly the last prince in their mind did not begin his
reign after they were fourscore years old.
They were the most mortifying sight I ever beheld; and
the women were more horrible than the men. Besides the
usual deformities in extreme old age, they acquired an addi-
tional ghastliness, in proportion to their number of years,
which is not to be described; and among half a dozen, I soon
distinguished which was the eldest, although there was not
above a century or two between them.
The reader will easily believe, that from what I had heard
and seen, my keen appetite for perpetuity of life was much
abated. I grew heartily ashamed of the pleasing visions I
had formed; and thought no tyrant could invent a death, into
334
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
which I would not run with pleasure, from such a life. The
king heard of all that had passed between me and my friends
upon this occasion, and rallied me very pleasantly; wishing I
could send a couple of struldbrugs to my own country, to arm
our people against the fear of death;* but this, it seems, is
forbidden by the fundamental laws of the kingdom, or else I
should have been well content with the trouble and expense
of transporting them.
I could not but agree, that the laws of this kingdom rela-
tive to the struldbrugs were founded upon the strongest rea-
sons, and such as any other country would be under the
necessity of enacting, in the like circumstances. Otherwise,
as avarice is the necessary consequent of old age, those
immortals would in time become proprietors of the whole
nation, and engross the civil power, which, for want of abili-
ties to manage, must end in the ruin of the public.
Perhaps it may not be wholly useless to remark, that the sight of a struldbrug
would no otherwise arm those against the fear of death, who have no hope teyond
It, than a man is armed against the fear of breaking his limbs, who jumps out of a
window when his house is on fire.-H.
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTALAPUTA, ,
ETC. 335
CHAPTER. XI.
The Author leaves Luggnagg, and sails to Japan-From thence he returns in a
Dutch ship to Amsterdam, and from Amsterdam to England.
I THOUGHT this account of the struldbrugs might be some
entertainment to the reader, because it seems to be a little
out of the common way; at least I do not remember to have
met the like in any book of travels that has come to my hands:
and if I am deceived, my excuse must be, that it is necessary
for travellers who describe the same country, very often to
agree in dwelling on the same particulars, without deserving
the censure of having borrowed or transcribed from those who
wrote before them.
There is indeed a perpetual commerce between this kingdom
and the great empire of Japan; and it is very probable, that the
Japanese authors may have given some account of the struld-
brugs; but my stay in Japan was so short, and I was so entirely
a stranger to the language, that I was not qualified to make
any inquiries. But I hope the Dutch, upon this notice, will be
curious and able enough to supply my defects.
His majesty having often pressed me to accept some
employment in his court, and finding me absolutely determined
to return to my native country, was pleased to give me his
license to depart; and honoured me with a letter of recom-
mendation, under his own hand, to the emperor of Japan.
He likewise presented me with four hundred and fourty-four
large pieces of gold (this nation delighting in even numbers),
33€
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
and a red diamond, which I seld in England for eleven hun-
dred pounds.
On the 26th of May, 1709, I took a solemn leave of his
majesty, and all my friends. This prince was so gracious as
to order a guard to conduct me to Glanguenstald, which
is a royal port to the south-west part of the island. In six
days I found a vessel ready to carry me to Japan, and spent
fifteen days in the voyage. We landed at a small port-town
called Xamoschi, situated on the south-east part of Japan; the
town lies on the western point, where there is a narrow strait
leading northward into a long arm of the sea, upon the north-
west part of which, Yedo the metropolis stands. At landing.
I shewed the custom-house officers my letter from the king of
Luggnagg to his imperial majesty. They knew the seal per-
fectly well; it was as broad as the palm of my hand. The impres-
sion was, ' A king lifting up a lame beggar from the earth.'
The magistrates of the town, hearing of my letter, received
me as a public minister; they provided me with carriages and
servants, and bore my charges to Yedo, where I was admitted
to an audience, and delivered my letter, which was opened
with great ceremony, and explained to the emperor by an
interpreter; who then gave me notice, by his majesty's order,
"that I should signify my request, and, whatever it were, it
should be granted, for the sake of his royal brother of Lugg
nagg." This interpreter was a person employed to transact
affairs with the Hollanders: he soon conjectured, by my
countenance, that I was a European, and therefore repeated
his majesty's commands in Low Dutch, which he spoke per-
fectly well. I answered, as I had before determined, " that I
was a Dutch merchant, shipwrecked in a very remote country,
whence I had travelled by sea and land to Luggnagg, and
then took shipping for Japan, where I knew my countrymen
often traded, and with some of these I hoped to get an
opportunity of returning into Europe: I therefore most
A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, ETC.
337
humbly entreated his royal favour, to give order that
I should be conducted in safety to Nangasac." To this
I added another petition, "that for the sake of my
patron the king of Lugguagg, his majesty would condescend
to excuse my performing the ceremony imposed on my
countrymen, of trampling upon the crucifix; because I had
been thrown into this kingdom by my misfortunes, without
any intention of trading." When this latter petition was
interpreted to the emperor, he seemed a little surprised; and
said, "he believed I was the first of my countrymen who even
made any scruple in this point; and that he began to doubt,
whether I was a real Hollander, or not; but rather supected I
must be a Christian. However, for the reasons I had offered,
but chiefly to gratify the king of Luggnagg by an uncommon
mark of his favour, he would comply with the singularity of
my humour; but the affair must be managed with dexterity,
and his officers should be commanded to let me pass, as it were
by forgetfulness; for he assured me, that if the secret should
be discovered by my countrymen the Dutch, they would cut my
throat in the voyage." I returned my thanks, by the inter-
preter, for so unusual a favour; and some troops being at that
time on the march to Nangasac, the commanding officer had.
orders to convey me safe thither, with particular instruction
about the business of the crucifix.
On the 9th of June, 1709, I arrived at Nangasac, after a
very long and troublesome journey. I soon fell into the com-
pany of some Dutch sailors belonging to the Amboyna of
Amsterdam, a stout ship of 450 tons. I had lived long in
Holland, pursuing my studies at Leyden, and I spoke Dutch
well. The seamen soon knew whence I came last: they were
curious to inquire into my voyages and course of life. I made
up a story as short and probable as I could, but concealed the
greatest part. I knew many persons in Holland; I was able
to invent names for my parents, whom I pretended to be
15
338
GULLIVERS TRAVELS.
,
obscure people in the province of Guelderland. I would have
given the captain (one Theodorus Vangrult) what he pleasea
to ask for my voyage to Holland, but understanding I was a sur-
geon, he was contented to take half the usual rate, on condi-
tion that I would serve him in the way of my calling. Before
we took shipping, I was often asked by some of the crew
"whether I had performed the ceremony above mentioned ?”
I evaded the question by general answers; "that I had satisfied
the emperor and court in all particulars." However, a malicious
rogue of a skipper went to an officer, and pointing to me, told
him, "I had not yet trampled on that crucifix;" but the other,
who had received instructions to let me pass, gave the rascal
twenty strokes on the shoulders with a bamboo; after which
I was was no more troubled with such questions.
Nothing happened worth mentioning in this voyage. We
sailed with a fair wind to the Cape of Good Hope, where
we staid only to take in fresh water. On the 10th of April,
1710, we arrived safe at Amsterdam, having lost only three
men by sickness in the voyage, and a fourth, who fell from the
foremast into the sea, not far from the coast of Guinea. From
Amsterdam I soon after set sail for England, in a small vessel
belonging to that city.
On the 16th of April we put in at the Downs. I landed
next morning, and saw once more my native country, after an
absence of five years and six months complete. I went
straight to Redriff, where I arrived the same day, at two in
the afternoon, and found my wife and family in good health.
PART I V.
A VOYAGE TO THE
COUNTRY OF THE HOUYHNHNMS
A VOYAGE
TO THE
COUNTRY OF THE HOUYHNHNMS.
CHAPTER I.
Author sets out as captain of a ship-His men conspire against him, c:afine
im a long time to his cabin, and set him on shore in an unknown land-He
ravels up into the country-The Yahoos, a strange sort of animal, described-The
Author meets two Houyhnhnms,
I CONTINUED at home with my wife and children about five
months, in a very happy condition, if I could have learned the
lesson of knowing when I was well. I left my poor wife big
with child, and accepted an advantageous offer made me to be
captain of the Adventure, a stout merchantman of 350 tons;
for I understood navigation well, and being grown weary of a
surgeon's employment at sea, which however, I could exercise
upon occasion, I took a skilful young man of that calling, one
Robert Purefoy, into my ship. We set sail from Portsmouth,
upon the seventh day of September, 1710; on the 14th, we
met with Captain Pocock, of Bristol, at Teneriffe, who was
going to the bay of Campechy to cut logwood. On the 16th,
he was parted from us by a storm; I heard since my return,
841
342
GULLIVER 8 TRAVELS
that his ship foundered, and none escaped but one cabin boy
He was an honest man, and a good sailor, but a little too posi
tive in his own opinions, which was the cause of his destruc-
tion, as it has been of several others; for if he had followed
my advice, he might have been safe at home with his family
at this time as well as myself.
I had several men died in my ship of calentures, so that I
was forced to get recruits out of Barbadoes and the Leeward
Islands, where I touched by the direction of the merchants
who employed me; which I had soon too much cause to repent;
for I found afterward, that most of them had been buccaneers.*
I had fifty hands on board; and my orders were, that I should
trade with the Indians in the South Sea, and make what dis-
coveries I could. These rogues, whom I had picked up
debauched my other men, and they all formed a conspiracy to
seize the ship, and secure me; which they did one morning,
rushing into my cabin, and binding me hand and foot, threat-
ening to throw me overboard, if I offered to stir. I told them,
"I was their prisoner and would submit." This they made me
swear to do, and then they unbound me, only fastening one
of my legs with a chain, near my bed, and placed a sentry at
my door with his piece charged, who was commanded to
shoot me dead, if I attempted my liberty. They sent me
down victuals and drink, and took the government of the ship
to themselves. Their design was to turn pirates, and plunder
the Spaniards, which they could not do till they got more
But first they resolved to sell the goods in the ship,
and then go to Madagascar for recruits, several among them
having died since my confinement. They sailed many weeks,
and traded with the Indians; but I knew not what course
they took, being kept a close prisoner in my cabin, and expect-
ing nothing less than to be murdered, as they often threat
ened me.
men.
* Certain pirates, that infested the West Indies, were so called-H.
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHN HNMS. 343
Upon the 9th day of May, 1711, one James Welch came
down to my cabin, and said, "he had orders from the captain
to set me ashore." I expostulated with him, but in vain;
neither would he so much as tell me who their new captain
was. They forced me into the long-boat, letting me put on
my best suit of clothes, which were as good as new, and take
a small bundle of linen, but no arms, except my hanger; and
they were so civil as not to search my pockets, into which I
conveyed what money I had, with some other little neces-
saries. They rowed about a league, and then set me down on
a strand. I desired them to tell me what country it was.
They all swore, "they knew no more than myself;" but said,
"that the captain (as they called him) was resolved, after they
had sold the lading, to get rid of me in the first place where
they could discover land." They pushed off immediately,
advising me to make haste for fear of being overtaken by the
tide, and so bade me farewell.
In this desolate condition I advanced forward, and soon got
upon firm ground, where I sat down on a bank to rest myself,
and consider what I had best do. When I was a little
refreshed, I went up into the country, resolving to deliver
myself to the first savages I should meet, and purchase my life.
from them by some bracelets, glass rings, and other toys
which sailors usually provide themselves with in those
voyages, and whereof I had some about me. The land was
divided by long rows of trees, not regularly planted, but natu-
rally growing; there was great plenty of grass, and several
fields of oats. I walked very circumspectly. for fear of being
surprised, or suddenly shot with an arrow from behind, or on
either side. I fell into a beaten road, where I saw many
tracks of human feet, and some of cows, but most of horses.
At last I beheld several animals in a field, and one or two of
the same kind sitting on trees. Their shape was very singular
and deformed, which a little discomposed me, so that I lav
344
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
1
down behind a thicket to observe them better. Some of them
coming forward near the place where I lay, gave me an oppor-
tunity of distinctly marking their form. Their heads and
breasts were covered with a thick hair, some frizzled, and
others lauk; they had beards like goats, and a long ridge of
hair down their backs, and the fore parts of their legs and
feet; but the rest of their bodies was bear, so that I might see
their skins, which were of a brown buff colour. They had no
tails, or any hair on their buttocks, except about the anus;
which, I presume, nature had placed there to defend them, as
they sat on the ground; for this posture they used, as well as
lying down, and often stood on their hind feet. They climbed
high trees as nimbly as a squirrel, for they had strong
extended claws before and behind, terminating in sharp points,
and hooked. They would often spring, and bound and leap
with prodigious agility. The females were not so large as the
males; they had long lank hair on their head, but none on their
faces, nor any thing more than a sort of down on the rest of
their bodies, except about the anus and pudenda. The dugs
hung between their fore-feet, and often reached almost to the
ground as they walked. The hair of both sexes was of several
colours, brown, red, black, and yellow. Upon the whole, I
never beheld, in all my travels, so disagreeable an animal, or
one against which I naturally conceived so strong an anti-
pathy; so that thinking I had seen enough, full of contempt.
and aversion, I got up, and pursued the beaten road, hoping it
might direct me to the cabin of some Indian. I had not gone
far, when I met one of these creatures full in my way, and
coming up directly to me. The ugly monster, when he saw
me, distorted several ways every feature of his visage, and
stared, as at an object he had never seen before; then
approaching nearer, lifted up his fore-paw, whether out of
curiosity or mischief I could not tell; but I drew my hanger,
and gave him a good blow with the flat side of it, for I durst
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHN HNM 8. 345
not strike with the edge, fearing the inhabitants might be
provoked against me, if they should come to know that I had
killed or maimed any of their cattle. When the beast felt
the smart, he drew back, and roared so loud, that a herd of
at least forty came flocking about me from the next field,
howling and making odious faces; but I ran to the body of a
tree, and leaning my back against it, kept them off by
waving my hanger. Several of this cursed brood, getting
hold of the branches behind, leaped up into the tree, whence
they began to discharge their excrements on my head: how-
ever, I escaped pretty well by sticking close to the stem of
the tree, but was almost stifled with the filth which fell about
me on every side.
In the midst of this distress, I observed them all to run
away on a sudden as fast as they could; at which I ventured
to leave the tree, and pursue the road, wondering what it was
that could put them into this fright. But looking on my left
hand, I saw a horse walking softly in the field; which my
persecutors having sooner discovered, was the cause of their
flight. The horse started a little, when he came near me, but
soon recovering himself, looked full in my face with manifest
tokens of wonder. He viewed my hands and feet, walking
round me several times. I would have pursued my journey,
but he placed himself directly in the way, yet looking with a
very mild aspect, never offering the least violence. We stood
gazing at each other for some time; at last I took the bold-
ness to reach my hand towards his neck with a design to
stroke it, using the common style and whistle of jockeys,
when they are going to handle a strange horse. But this
animal seemed to receive my civilities with disdain, shook his
head, and bent his brows, softly raising up his right fore-foot
to remove my hand. Then he neighed three or four times,
but in so different a cadence, that I almost began to think he
was speaking to himself, in some language of his own.
15*
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GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
While he and I were thus employed, another horse caine
up; who applying himself first in a very formal manner, they
gently struck each other's right hoof before, neighing several
times by turns, and varying the sound, which seemed to be
almost articulate. They went some paces off, as if it were to
confer together, walking side by side, backward and forward,
like persons deliberating upon some affair of weight, but
often turning their eyes towards me, as it were to watch that
I might not escape. I was amazed to see such actions and
behaviour in brute beasts: and concluded with myself, that if
the inhabitants of this country were endued with a propor-
tionable degree of reason, they must needs be the wisest peo-
ple upon earth. This thought gave me so much comfort,
that I resolved to go forward, until I could discover some
house or village, or meet with any of the natives, leaving the
two horses to discourse together as they pleased. But the
first, who was a dapple gray, observing me to steal off,
neighed after me in so expressive a tone, that I fancied myself
to understand what he meant; whereupon I turned back, and
came near to him to expect his farther commands; but con-
cealing my fear as much as I could; for I began to be in
some pain how this adventure might terminate; and the
reader would easily believe I did not much like my present
situation.
The two horses came up close to me, looking with great
earnestness upon my face and hands. The gray steed rubbed
my hat all round with his right fore-hoof, and discomposed it
so much, that I was forced to adjust it better by taking it off,
and settling it on again; whereat, both he and his companion.
(who was a brown bay) appeared to be much surprised; the
latter felt the lappet of my coat, and finding it to hang loose
about me, they both looked with new signs of wonder. IIe
stroked my right hand, seeming to admire the softness and
colour but he squeezed it so hard between his hoof and his
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHN HNMS. 347
pastern, that I was forced to roar; after which they both
touched me with all possible tenderness. They were under
great perplexity about my shoes and stockings, which they
felt very often, neighing to each other, and using various ges-
tures, not unlike those of a philosopher, when he would
attempt to solve some new and difficult phenomenon.
Upon the whole, the behaviour of these animals was so
orderly and rational, so acute and judicious, that I at last
concluded they must needs be magicians, who had thus
metamorphosed themselves upon some design, and seeing a
stranger in the way, resolved to divert themselves with him;
or, perhaps were really amazed at the sight of a man so very
different in habit, feature, and complexion, from those who
might probably live in so remote a climate. Upon the
strength of this reasoning, I ventured to address them in the
following manner: "Gentlemen, if you be conjurors, as I have
good cause to believe, you can understand any language;
therefore I make bold to let your worships know that I am a
poor distressed Englishman, driven by his misfortunes upon
your coast and I entreat one of you to let me ride upon his
back, as if he were a real horse, to some house or village
where I can be relieved. In return of which favour, I will
make you a present of this knife and bracelet ;" taking them
out of my pocket. The two creatures stood silent while I
spoke, seeming to listen with great attention; and when I
had ended, they neighed frequently towards each other, as if
they were engaged in serious conversation. I plainly observed.
that their language expressed the passions very well, and the
words might, with little pains, be resolved into an alphabet
more easily than the Chinese.
I could frequently distinguish the word Yahoo, which was
repeated by each of them several times: and although it was
impossible for me to conjecture what it meant, yet while the
two horses were busy in conversation, I endeavoured to
348
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
practise this word upon my tongue; and as soon as they
were silent, I boldly pronounced Yahoo in a loud voice,
imitating at the same time, as near as I could, the neighing
of a horse; at which they were both visibly surprised; and
the gray repeated the same word twice, as if he meant to
teach the right accent; wherein I spoke after him as well as
I could, and found myself perceivably to improve every time,
though very far from any degree of perfection. Then the
bay tried me with a second word, much harder to be pro-
nounced; but reducing it to the English orthography, may
be spelt thus, Houyhnhnm. I did not succeed in this so well
as in the former; but after two or three farther trials, I had
better fortune; and they both appeared amazed at my
capacity.
After some further discourse, which I then conjectured
might relate to me, the two friends took their leaves, with
the same compliment of striking each other's hoof; and the
gray made me signs that I should walk before him; wherein
I thought it prudent to comply, till I could find a better
director. When I offered to slacken my pace, he would cry
hhuun, hhuun: I guessed his meaning, and gave him to
understand, as well as I could, "that I was weary, and not
able to walk faster" upon which he would stand awhile to
let me rest.
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUY HN HNM3. 349
CHAPTER II.
The Author conducted by a Houyhnhnm to his house--The house described-The
Author's reception-The food of Houyhnhnms-The Author in distress for
want of meat-Is at last relieved-His manner of feeding in this country.
HAVING travelled about three miles, we came to a long
kind of building, made of timber stuck in the ground, and
wattled across; the roof was low, and covered with straw. I
now began to be a little comforted; and took out some toys,
which travellers usually carry for presents to the savage
Indians of America, and other parts, in hopes the people of
the house would be thereby encouraged to receive me kindly.
The horse made me a sign to go in first; it was a large
room, with a smooth clay floor, and a rack and manger,
extending the whole length on one side. There were three
nags and two mares, not eating, but some of them sitting
down upon their hams, which I very much wondered at; but
wondered more to see the rest employed in domestic busi-
ness; these seemed but ordinary cattle; however, this con-
firmed my first opinion, that a people who could so far civilize
brute animals, must needs excel in wisdom all the nations of
the world. The gray came in just after, and thereby pre-
vented any ill treatment which the others might have given
me. He neighed to them several times in a style of authority,
and received answers.
Beyond this room there were three others, reaching the
length of the house, to which you passed through three doors,
350
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
opposite to each other, in the manner of a vista; we went
through the second room towards the third. Here the gray
walked in first, beckoning me to attend: I waited in the
second room, and got ready my presents for the master and
mistress of the house: they were two knives, three bracelets
of false pearls, a small looking-glass, and a bead necklace.
The horse neighed three or four times, and I waited to hear
some answers in a human voice, but I heard no other returns
than in the same dialect, only one or two a little shriller than
his. I began to think that this house must belong to some
person of great note among them, because there appeared so
much ceremony before I could gain admittance. But, that a
man of quality should be served all by horses, was beyond
my comprehension; I feared my brain was disturbed by my
sufferings and misfortunes: I roused myself, and looked about.
me in the room where I was left alone: this was furnished
like the first, only after a more elegant manner. I rubbed my
eyes often, but the same objects still occurred. I pinched my
arms and sides to awake myself, hoping I might be in a
dream. I then absolutely concluded, that all these appear-
ances could be nothing else but necromancy and magic. But
I had no time to pursue these reflections; for the gray horse
came to the door, and made me a sign to follow him into the
third room, where I saw a very comely mare, together
with a colt and foal, sitting on their haunches upon mats
of straw, not unartfully made, and perfectly neat and
clean.
The mare soon after my entrance rose from her mat, and
coming up close, after having nicely observed my hands and
face, gave me a most contemptuous look; and turning to the
horse, I heard the word Yahoo often repeated betwixt them;
the meaning of which word I could not then comprehend,
although it was the first I had learned to pronounce; but I
was soon better informed, to my everlasting mortification;
A VOYAGE TO THE HUYHN HNM 8. 351
for the horse, beckoning to me with his head, and repeating
the hhuun, hhuun, as he did upon the road, which I under-
stood was to attend him, led me out into a kind of court,
where was another building, at some distance from the house.
Here we entered, and I saw three of those detestable creatures,
which I first met after my landing, feeding upon roots, and
the flesh of some animals, which I afterwards found to be
that of asses and dogs, and now and then a cow, dead by
accident or disease. They were all tied by the neck with
strong withes fastened to a beam; they held their food
between the claws of their fore feet, and tore it with their
teeth.
The master horse ordered a sorrel nag, one of his servants,
to untie the largest of these animals, and take him into the
yard. The beast and I were brought close together, and by
our countenances diligently compared both by master and
servant, who thereupon repeated several times the word
Yahoo. My horror and astonishment are not to be described,
when I observed, in this abominable animal, a perfect human
figure the face of it indeed was flat and broad, the nose
depressed, the lips large, and the mouth wide; but these dif-
ferences are common to all savage nations, where the linea-
ments of the countenance are distorted, by the natives suffer-
ing their infants to lie grovelling on the earth, or by carrying
them on their backs, nuzzling with their faces against the
mother's shoulders. The fore feet of the Yahoo differed
from my hands in nothing else but the length of the nails,
the coarseness and brownness of the palms, and the hairiness
on the backs. There was the same resemblance between our
feet, with the same differences; which I knew very well,
though the horses did not, because of my shoes and stockings;
the same in every part of our bodies except as to hairiness
and colour, which I have already described.
The great difficulty that seemed to stick with the two
352
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
horses, was to see the rest of my body so very different from
that of a Yahoo, for which I was obliged to my clothes,
whereof they had no conception. The sorrel nag offered me
a root, which he held (after their manner, as we shall
describe in its proper place) between his hoof and pastern: I
took it in my hand, and, having smelt it, returned to him as
civilly as I could. He brought out of the Yahoo's kennel a piece
of ass's flesh, but it smelt so offensively, that I turned from it
with a loathing: he then threw it to the Yahoo, by whom it
was greedily devoured. He afterward showed me a wisp of
hay, and a fetlock full of oats; but I shook my head, to
signify that neither of these were food for me. And indeed I
now apprehended that I must absolutely starve if I did not
get to some of my own species; for as to those filthy Yahoos,
although there were few greater lovers of mankind at that
time than myself, yet I confess I never saw any sensitive
being so detestable on all accounts; and the more I came
near them the more hateful they grew, while I stayed in that
country. This the master horse observed by my behaviour,
and therefore sent the Yahoo back to his kennel. He then
put his fore-hoof to his mouth, at which I was much sur-
prised, although he did it with ease, and a motion that
appeared perfectly natural; and made other signs to know
what I would eat; but I could not return him such an
answer as he was able to apprehend: and if he had under-
stood me, I did not see how it was possible to contrive any
way for finding myself nourishment. While we were thus
engaged, I observed a cow passing by, whereupon I pointed
to her, and expressed a desire to go and milk her. This had
its effect; for he led me back into the house, and ordered a
mare-servant to open a room, where a good store of milk lay
in earthen and wooden vessels, after a very orderly and
cleanly manner. She gave me a large bowl full, of which I
drank very heartily, and found myself well refreshed
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHN HNMS. 353
About noon I saw coming towards the house a kind of
vehicle drawn like a sledge by four Yahoos. There was in
it an old steed, who seemed to be of quality: he alighted
with his hind feet forward, having by an accident got a hurt.
in his left fore-foot. He came to dine with our horse, who
received him with great civility. They dined in the best
room, and had oats boiled in milk for the second course,
which the old horse eat warm, but the rest cold. Their man-
gers were placed circular in the middle of the room, and divi-
ded into several partitions, round which they sat on their
haunches, upon bosses of straw. In the middle was a large
rack, with angles answering to every partition of the man-
ger; so that each horse and mare eat their own hay, and their
ɔwn mash of oats and milk, with much decency and regular-
ity. The behaviour of the young colt and foal appeared very
modest, and that of the master and mistress extremely cheer-
ful and complaisant to their guest. The gray ordered me to
stand by him; and much discourse passed between him and
his friend concerning me, as I found by the stranger's often
looking on me, and the frequent repetition of the word Yahoo.
I happened to wear my gloves, which the master gray ob-
serving, seemed perplexed, discovering signs of wonder what I
had done to my forefeet: he put his hoof three or four times
to them as if he would signify, that I should reduce them to
their former shape, which I presently did, pulling off both
my gloves, and putting them into my pocket.
This occasioned farther talk, and I saw the company was
pleased with my behaviour, whereof I soon found the good
effects. I was ordered to speak the few words I understood;
and while they were at dinner, the master taught me the
names for oats, milk, fire, water, and some others; which I
could readily pronounce after him, having from my youth a
great facility in learning languages.
When dinner was done, the master horse took me aside
354
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
and by signs and words made me understand the concern he
was in that I had nothing to eat. Oats in their tongue are
called hlunnh. This word I pronounced two or three times;
for although I had refused them at first, yet upon second
thoughts, I considered that I could contrive to make of them,
a kind of bread, which might be sufficient, with milk, to keep
me alive, till I could make my escape to some other country,
and to creatures of my own species. The horse immediately
ordered a white mare-servant of his family to bring me a
good quantity of oats in a sort of wooden tray. These I heat-
ed before the fire, as well as I could, and rubbed them till the
husks came off, which I made a shift to winnow from the
grain: I ground and beat them between two stones, and then
took water, and made them into a paste or cake, which I
toasted at the fire, and eat warm with milk. It was at first
a very insipid diet, though common enough in many parts of
Europe, but grew tolerable by time; and having been often
reduced to hard fare in my life, this was not the first experi-
ment I had made how easily nature is satisfied. And I can-
not but observe, that I never had one hour's sickness while I
stayed at this island. It is true, I sometimes made a shift to
catch a rabbit, or bird, by springes made of Yahoo's hairs;
and I often gathered wholesome herbs, which I boiled, and eat
as salads with my bread; and now and then, for a rarity, I
made a little butter, and drank the whey. I was at first at a
great loss for salt, but custom soon reconciled me to the want of
it; and I am confident that the frequent use of salt among
us is an effect of luxury, and was first introduced only as a
provocative to drink, except where it is necessary for preserv
ing flesh in long voyages, or in places remote from great
markets; for we observe no animal to be fond of it but man,
and as to myself, when I left this country, it was a great while
before I could endure the taste of it in any thing that I eat.
This is enough to say upon this subject of my diet, where
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHN HNMS. 355
with other travellers fill their books, as if the readers were
personally concerned whether we fare well or ill. However, it
was necessary to mention this matter, lest the world should
think it impossible that I could find sustenance for three
years in such a country, and among such inhabitants.
When it grew towards evening, the master horse ordered a
place for me to lodge in; it was about six yards from the
house, and separated from the stable of the Yahoos. Here I
got some straw, and covering myself with my own clothes,
slept very sound. But in a short time I was better accommo-
dated, as the reader shall know hereafter, when I come to
treat more particularly about my way of living.
356
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
CHAPTER III.
The Author studies to earn the language-The Houyhnhnm, his master, assists in
teaching him-The language described-Several Houyhnhnms of quality come out
of curiosity to see the Author-He gives his master a short account of his voyage.
My principal endeavour was to learn the language, which
my master (for so I shall henceforth call him), and his child-
ren, and every servant of his house, were desirous to teach
me: for they looked upon it as a prodigy, that a brute animal
should discover such marks of a rational creature. I pointed
to every thing, and inquired the name of it, which I wrote
down in my journal-book when I was alone, and corrected
my bad accent, by desiring those of the family to pronounce
it often. In this employment a sorrel nag, one of the under-
servants, was very ready to assist me.
In speaking, they pronounced through the nose and throat,
and their language approaches nearest to the High-Dutch, or
German, of any I know in Europe; but it is much more
graceful and significant. The Emperor Charles V. made al-
most the same observation, when he said, "that if he were to
speak to his horse, it should be in High-Dutch." The curios
ity and impatience of my master were so great, that he spent
many hours of his leisure to instruct me. He was convinced
(as he afterward told me) that I must be a Yahoo; but my
reachableness, civility, and cleanliness, astonished him; which
were qualities altogether opposite to those animals.* He was
most perplexed about my clothes, reasoning sometimes with
*"Qualities opposite to animals," is a strange mode of expression; it should be-
“which were qualities altogether opposite to such as belonged to those animals."-8
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.
357
himself, whether they were a part of my body; for I never pull-
ed them off till the family were asleep, and got them on be-
fore they waked in the morning. My master was eager to
learn "whence I came; how I acquired those appearances of
reason, which I discovered in all my actions; and to know
my story from my own mouth, which he hoped he should soon
do, by the great proficiency I made in learning and pronounc-
ing their words and sentences." To help my memory, I form-
ed all I learned into the English alphabet, and writ the words
down, with the translations. This last, after some time, I ven-
tured to do in my master's presence. It cost me much trouble
to explain to him what I was doing; for the inhabitants have
not the least idea of books or literature.
In about ten weeks' time, I was able to understand most of
his questions; and in three months could give some tolerable
answers. He was extremely curious to know "from what
part of the country I came, and how I was taught to imitate
a rational creature; because the Yahoos (whom he saw I
exactly resembled in my head, hand, and face, that were
only visible),* with some appearance of cunning, and the
strongest disposition to mischief, were observed to be the
most unteachable of all brutes. I answered, "that I came
over the sea from a far place, with many others of my own
kind, in a great hollow vessel made of the bodies of trees:
that my companions forced me to land on this coast, and then
left me to shift for myself." It was with some difficulty, and
by the help of many signs, that I brought him to understand
me. He replied, "that I must needs be mistaken, or that I
said the thing which was not;" for they have no word in their
language to express lying or falsehood.
"He knew it was im-
possible that there could be a country
that a parcel of brutes could move a wooden vessel whither
beyond the sea, or
"That were only visible '—an ambiguous phrase it should be, “which only
were visible," &c.—S.
358
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
they pleased upon water. He was sure no Houyhnhnms
alive could make such a vessel, nor would trust Yahoos to
manage it."
The word Houyhnhnm, in their tongue, signifies a horse,
and, in its etymology, the perfection of nature. I told my
master, that "I was at a loss for expression, but would improve
as fast as I could; and hoped in a short time, I should be
able to tell him wonders." He was pleased to direct his own
mare, his colt, and foal, and the servants of the family, to take
all opportunities of instructing me; and every day for two or
three hours, he was at the same pains himself: several horses
and mares of quality in the neighbourhood came often to our
house, upon the report spread of "a wonderful Yahoo, that
could speak like a Houyhnhnm, and seemed, in his words and
actions, to discover some glimmerings of reason." These de-
lighted to converse with me: they put many questions, and
received such answers as I was able to return. By all these
advantages I made so great a progress, that, in five months
from my arrival, I understood whatever was spoken, and
could express myself tolerable well.
The Houyhnhnms, who came to visit my master out of a
design of seeing and talking with me, could hardly believe me
to be a right Yahoo, because my body had a different cover-
ing from others of my kind. They were astonished to ob-
serve me without the usual hair or skin, except on my head,
face, and hands; but I discovered that secret to my master
upon an accident which happened about a fortnight before.
I have already told the reader, that every night, when the
family were gone to bed, it was my custom to strip, and
cover myself with my clothes: it happened one morning
early, that my master sent for me by the sorrel nag, who
was his valet; when he came I was fast asleep, my clothes
fallen off on one side, and my shirt above my waist. I awaked
at the noise he made, and observed him to deliver his mes
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHN HNMS. 359
:
sage in some disorder; after which he went to my master, and
in a great fright gave him a very confused account of what
ne had seen; this I presently discovered; for, going as soon
as I was dressed to pay my attendance upon his honour, he
asked me "the meaning of what his servant had reported, that
I was not the same thing when I slept, as I appeared to be at
other times; that his valet assured him, some part of me was
white, some yellow, at least not so white, and some brown."
I had hitherto concealed the secret of my dress, in order
to distinguish myself, as much as possible, from that cursed
race of Yahoos; but now I found it in vain to do so any longer.
Besides, I considered that my clothes and shoes would soon
wear out, which already were in a declining condition, and
must be supplied by some contrivance from the hides of
Yahoos, or other brutes; whereby the whole secret would be
known. I therefore told my master, "that in the country
whence I came, those of my kind always covered their bodies
with hairs of certain animals prepared by art, as well for
decency as to avoid the inclemencies of air, both hot and cold:
of which, as to my own person, I would give him immediate
conviction, if he pleased to command me: only desiring his
excuse, if I did not expose those parts that nature taught us
to conceal." He said, "my discourse was all very strange, but
especially the last part; for he could not understand, why
nature should teach us to conceal what nature had given; that
neither himself nor family were ashamed of any parts of their
bodies; but, however, I might do as I pleased." Whereupon I
first unbuttoned my coat, and pulled it off. I did the same
with my waistcoat; I drew off my shoes, stockings, and breeches;
I let my shirt down to my waist, and drew up the bottom, fasten.
ing it like a girdle about my middle to hide my nakedness.
My master observed the whole performance with great signs
of curiosity and admiration. He took up all my clothes in
his pastern, one piece after another, and examined them dili.
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GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
gently; he then stroked my body very gently, and looked
round me several times; after which, he said, it was plain 1
must be a perfect Yahoo ; but that I differed very much from
the rest of my species, in the softness, whiteness, and smooth-
ness of my skin; my want of hair on several parts of my
body; the shape and shortness of my claws behind and before;
and my affectation of walking continually on my two hinder
feet. He desired to see no more; and gave me leave to put
on my clothes again, for I was shuddering with cold.
I expressed my uneasiness at his giving me so often the
appellation of Yahoo, an odious animal, for which I had so
utter a hatred and contempt: I begged he would forbear
applying that word to me, and make the same order in his
family and among his friends whom he suffered to see me.
requested likewise, "that the secret of my having a false cover-
ing to my body might be known to none but himself, at least
as long as my present clothing should last; for, as to what the
sorrel nag, his valet, had observed, his honour might command
him to conceal it."
All this my master very graciously consented to, and thus
the secret was kept till my clothes began to wear out, which
I was forced to supply by several contrivances that shall here-
after be mentioned. In the mean time, he desired" I would go
on with my utmost diligence to learn their language, because
he was more astonished at my capacity for speech and reason,
than at the figure of my body, whether it was covered or not;"
adding, “that he waited with some impatience to hear the
wonders which I promised to tell him."
Thenceforward he doubled the pains he had been at to
instruct me: he brought me into all company, and made them
treat me with civility; "because," as he told them privately,
"this would put me into good humour, and make me more
diverting."
Every day, when I waited on him, beside the trouble he
A VOYAGE TO THE HOLYHN HNMS. 361
was at in teaching, he would ask me several questions concern-
ing myself, which I answered as well as I could; and by these
means he had already received some general ideas, though
very imperfect. It would be tedious to relate the several steps
by which I advanced to a more regular conversation; but the
first account I gave of myself in any order and length was
to this purpose :-
"That I came from a very far country, as I already had
attempted to tell him, with about fifty more of my own species;
that we travelled upon the seas in a great hollow vessel made
of wood, and larger than his honour's house. I described the
ship to him in the best terms I could, and explained, by the
help of my handkerchief displayed, how it was driven forward
by the wind. That upon a quarrel among us, I was set on
shore on this coast, where I walked forward, without knowing
whither, til he delivered me from the persecution of those
execrable Yahoos." He asked me, "who made the ship, and
how it was possible that the Houyhnhnms of my country
would leave it to the management of brutes?" My answer
was, "that I durst proceed no farther in my relation, unless he
would give me his word and honour that he would not be
offended, and then I would tell him the wonders I had so often
promised." He agreed; and I went on by assuring him,
"that the ship was made by creatures like myself: who, in
all the countries I had travelled, as well as in my own, were
the only governing rational animals; and that upon my arrival
hither,* I was as much astonished to see the Houyhnhnms
act like rational beings, as he, or his friends, could be, in find-
ing some marks of reason in a creature he was pleased to call
a Yahoo; to which I owned my resemblance in every part,
but could not account for their degenerate and brutal nature."
I said farther, "that if good fortune ever restored me to my
**
* It should be-"upon my arrival here," not "arrival hither," which is not
English.-S.
362
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
native country, to relate my travels hither, as I resolved to do,
every body would believe, that I said the thing that was not,
that I invented the story out of my own head; and (with all
possible respect to himself, his family, and friends, and under
his promise of not being offended) our countrymen would
bardly think it probable that a Houyhnhnm should be the pro
iding creature of a nation, and a Yahoo the brute."
:
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHN HNMS. 363
CHAPTER. IV.
The Houyhnhnm's notion of truth and falsehood-The Author's discourse disap-
proved by his master-The Author given a more particular account of himself,
and the accidents of his voyage.
My master heard me with great appearances of uneasiness in
his countenance; because doubting, or not believing, are so
little known in this country, that the inhabitants cannot tell
how to behave themselves under such circumstances; and I
remember, in frequent discourses with iny master concerning
the nature of manhood in other parts of the world, having
occasion to talk of lying and false representation, it was with
much difficulty that he comprehended what I meant, although
he had otherwise a most acute judgment. For he argued
thus: "that the use of speech was to make us understand one
another, and to receive information of facts; now, if any one
said the thing which was not, these ends were defeated, because
I cannot properly be said to understand him; and I am so far
from receiving information, that he leaves me worse than in
ignorance, for I am led to believe a thing black, when it is
white, short when it is long." And these were all the notions he
had concerning that faculty of lying, so perfectly well under-
stood, and so universally practised, among human creatures.
To return from this digression. When I asserted that the
Yahoos were the only governing animals in my country, which
my master said was altogether past his conception, he desired
to know, "whether we had Houyhnhnms among as, and what
was their employment:" I told him, " we had great numbers
364
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
*
that in summer they grazed in the fields, and in winter were kept
in Louses with hay and oats, where Yahoo servants were
employed to rub their skins smooth, comb their manes, pick
their feet, serve them with food, and make their beds." "I
understand you well," said my master; "it is now very plain,
from all you have spoken, that whatever share of reason the
Yahoos pretend to, the Houyhnhnms are your masters; I
heartily wish our Yahoos would be so tractable." I begged
"his honour would please to excuse me from proceeding any
farther, because I was very certain that the account he expected
from me would be highly displeasing." But he insisted in
commanding me to let him know the best and the worst.
I told him "he should be obeyed." I owned" that the Houy-
hnhnms among us, whom we called horses, were the most
generous and comely animals we had; that they excelled in
strength and swiftness: and when they belonged to persons of
quality, were employed in travelling, racing, or drawing
chariots; they were treated with much kindness and care, till
they fell into diseases, or became foundered in the feet: but
then they were sold, and used to all kind of drudgery till they
died; after which their skins were stripped, and sold for what
they were worth, and their bodies left to be devoured by dogs
and birds of prey. But the common race of horses had not
so good fortune, being kept by farmers and carriers, and other
mean people, who put them to greater labour, and fed them
worse." I described, as well as I could, our way of riding;
the shape and use of a bridle, a saddle, a spur, and a whip;
of harness and wheels. I added, "that we fastened plates of a
certain hard substance, called iron, at the bottom of their
feet, to preserve their hoofs from being broken by the stony
ways, on which we often travelled."
My master, after some expressions of great indignation,
• "Insisted in commanding" is not English; it should be, "persisted in command-
ng,” &c.--S.
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHN HNMS. 365
wondered "how we dared to venture upon a Houyhnhnm's
pack; for he was sure, that the weakest servant in his house.
would be able to shake off the strongest Yahoo; or by lying
down, and rolling on his back, squeeze the brute to death."
I answered, "that our horses were trained up, from three or
four years old, to the several uses we intended them for; that
if any of them proved intolerably vicious, they were employed
for carriages; that they were severely beaten, while they were
young, for any mischievous tricks; that the males, designed
for the common use of riding or draught, were generally cas-
trated about two years after their birth, to take down their
spirits, and make them more tame and gentle; that they were
indeed sensible of rewards and punishments: but his honour
would please to consider, that they had not the least tincture
of reason, any more than the Yahoos in this country."
It put me to the pains of many circumlocutions, to give
my master a right idea of what I spoke; for their language
does not abound in variety of words, because their wants and
passions are fewer than among us.
But it is impossible to
express his noble resentment at our savage treatment of the
Houyhnhnm race; particularly after I had explained the man-
ner and use of castrating horses among us, to hinder them from
propagating their kind, and to render them more servile.
He said, "if it were possible there could be any country where
Yahoos alone were endued with reason, they certainly must
be the governing animal; because reason in time will always
prevail against brutal strength. But, considering the frame
of our bodies, and especially of mine, he thought no creature
of equal bulk was so ill contrived for employing that reason.
in the common offices of life;" whereupon he desired to know
"whether those among whom I lived resembled me or the
Yahoos of this country." I assured him, "that I was as well
shaped as most of my age; but the younger, and the females,
were much more soft and tender, and the skins of the latter
366
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
generally as white as milk." He said, "I differed indeed from
other Yahoos, being much more cleanly, and not altogether
so deformed; but, in point of real advantage, he thought I
differed for the worse; that my nails were of no use either to
my fore or hinder feet: as to my fore feet, he could not
properly call them by that name, for he never observed me
to walk upon them; that they were too soft to bear the
ground; that I generally went with them uncovered; neither
was the covering I sometimes wore on them of the same shape,
or so strong as that on my feet behind: that I could not walk
with any security, for if either of my hinder feet slipped, I
must inevitably fall." He then began to find fault with other
parts of my body; the flatness of my face, the prominence of
my nose, mine eyes, placed directly in front, so that I could
not look on either side, without turning my head: that I was
not able to feed myself, without lifting one of my fore-feet to
my mouth; and therefore nature had placed those joints to
answer that necessity. He knew not what could be the use
of those several clefts and divisions in my feet behind ; that
these were too soft to bear the hardness and sharpness of stones,
without a covering made from the skin of some other brute;
that my whole body wanted a fence against heat and cold,
which I was forced to put on and off every day, with tedious-
ness and trouble: and lastly, that he observed every animal in
this country naturally to abhor the Yahoos, whom the weaker
avoided, and the stronger drove from thera. So that, suppos-
ing us to have the gift of reason, he could not see how it were
possible to cure that natural antipathy which every creature
discovered against us; nor consequently how we could tame
and render them serviceable. However, "he would," as he
said, “debate the matter no farther, because he was more
desirous to know my own story, the country where I was born,
and the several actions and events of my life, before I came
hither."
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHN HNMs. 367
I assured him "how extremely desirous I was that he should
oe satisfied on every point; but I doubted much, whether it
would be possible for me to explain myself on several subjects,
whereof his honour could have no conception; because I saw
nothing in his country to which I could resemble them : that,
however, I would do my best, and strive to express myself by
similitudes, humbly desiring his assistance when I wanted pro-
per words; which he was pleased to promise me."
I said, "my birth was of honest parents, in an island called
England; which was remote from his country, as many days'
journey as the strongest of his honour's servants could travel,
in the annual course of the sun : that I was bred a surgeon,
whose trade it is to cure wounds and hurts in the body, gotten
by accident or violence; that my country was governed by a
female man, whom we call queen; that I left it to get riches,
whereby I might maintain myself and family, when I should
return; that, in my last voyage, I was commander of the ship,
and had about fifty Yahoos under me, many of which died at
sea, and I was forced to supply them by others picked out
from several nations; that our ship was twice in danger of
being sunk, the first time by a great storm, and the second by
striking against a rock." Here my master interposed, by ask-
ing me, "how I could persuade strangers, out of different
countries, to venture with me, after the losses I had sustained,
and the hazards I had run." I said, "they were fellows of des-
perate fortunes, forced to fly from the places of their birth on
account of their poverty or their crimes. Some were undone
by lawsuits; others spent all they had in drinking, whoring
and gaming; others fled for treason; many for murder, theft,
poisoning, robbery, perjury, forgery, coining false money; for
committing rapes, or sodomy; for flying from their colours, or
deserting to the enemy; and most of them had broken prison;
none of these durst return to their native countries, for fear of
368
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
boing hanged, or of starving in a jail : and therefore they were
under the necessity of seeking a livelihood in other places."
During this discourse, my master was pleased to interrupt.
me several times. I had made use of many circumlocutions
in describing to him the nature of the several crimes for which
most of our crew had been forced to fly their country. This
labour took up several days' conversation, before he was able.
to comprehend me. He was wholly at a loss to know what
could be the use or necessity of practising those vices. To
clear up which, I endeavoured to give some ideas of the de-
sire of power and riches; of the terrible effects of lust, intem-
perance, malice, and envy. All this I was forced to define
and describe by putting cases, and making suppositions
After which, like one whose imagination was struck with
something never seen or heard of before, he would lift up Lis
eyes with amazement and indignation. Power, government,
war, law, punishment, and a thousand other things, had no
terms, wherein that language could express them; which made
the difficulty almost insuperable, to give my master any con-
ception of what I meant. But being of an excellent under-
standing, much improved by contemplation and converse, he
at last arrived at a competent knowledge of what human
nature, in our part of the world, is capable to perform; and
desired I would give him some particular account of that
land we call Europe, but especially of my own countrv.
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS. 369
CHAPTER V.
The Author, at his master's commands, informs him of the state of England-The
causes of war among the princes of Europe-The author begins to explain the
English. constitution.
THE reader may please to observe, that the following ex-
tract of many conversations I had with my master, contains a
summary of the most material points which were discoursed
at several times for above two years; his honor often desiring
fuller satisfaction, as I farther improved in the Houyhnhnm
tongue, I laid before him, as well as I could, the whole state
of Europe; I discoursed of trade and manufactures, of arts
and sciences; and the answers I gave to all the questions he
made, as they arose upon several subjects, were a fund of con-
versation not to be exhausted. But I shall here only set
down the substance of what passed between us concerning my
own country, reducing it in order as well as I can, without
any regard to time or other circumstances, while I strictly
adhere to truth. My only concern is, that I shall hardly be
able to do justice to my master's arguments and expressions,
which must suffer by my want of capacity, as well as by a
translation into our barbarous English.
In obedience therefore to his honor's commands, I related
to him the revolution under the Prince of Orange; the long
war with France, entered into by the said prince, and renewed
by his successor, the present queen: wherein the greatest
powers of Christendomi were engaged, and which still contin
10*
370
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
ued; I computed at his request, "that about a million of
Yahoos might have been killed in the whole progress of it;
and perhaps a hundred or more cities taken, and five times as
many ships burnt or sunk."
He asked me, "what were the usual causes or motives that
made one country go to war with another?" I answered,"
they were innumerable; but I should only mention a few of
the chief. Sometimes the arnbition of princes, who never
think they have land or people enough to govern; sometimes
the corruption of ministers, who engage their masters in a
war, in order to stifle or divert the clamour of the subjects
against their evil administration. Difference in opinions has
cost many million of lives; for instance, whether flesh be
bread, or bread be flesh; whether the juice of a certain berry
be blood or wine ;* whether whistling be a vice or a virtue ;†
whether it be better to kiss a post, or throw it into the fire;
what is the best colour for a coat, whether black, white, red,
or gray; and whether it should be long or short, narrow or
wide, dirty or clean, with many more.§ Neither are any wars
so furious and bloody, or of so long continuance, as those oc-
casioned by difference in opinion, especially if it be in things
indifferent.
"Sometimes the quarrel between two princes is to decide.
which of them shall dispossess a third of his dominions, where
neither of them pretends to any right: sometimes one prince
quarrels with another, for fear the other should quarrel with
him; sometimes a war is entered upon, because the enemy is
too strong, and sometimes, because he is too weak; sometimes
our neighbours want the things which we have, or have the
things which we want, and we both fight, till they take ours,
or give us theirs. It is a very justifiable cause of war, to in-
Transubstantiation.-H.
§ The colour and make of
Kissing a cross.-H.
† Church music.-H.
sacred vestments, and different arders of popish ecclesiastics.-H
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS. 371
vade a country after the people have been wasted by famine,
destroyed by pestilence, or embroiled by factions among them-
selves. It is justifiable to enter into war against our nearest
ally, when one of his towns lies convenient for us, or a terri-
tory of land, that would render our dominions round and
compact. If a prince sends forces into a nation, where the
people are poor and ignorant, he may lawfully put half of
them to death, and make slaves of the rest, in order to civil-
ize and reduce them from their barbarous way of living. It
is a very kingly, honourable, and frequent practice, when one
prince desires the assistance of another, to secure him against
an invasion, that the assistant, when he has driven out the in-
vader, should seize on the dominions himself, and kill, impri-
son, or banish the prince he came to relieve. Alliance by
blood, or marriage, is a frequent cause of war between princes;
and the nearer the kindred is, the greater their disposition to
quarrel: poor nations are hungry, and rich nations are proud:
and pride and hunger will ever be at variance. For these
reasons, the trade of a soldier is held the most honourable of
all others, becausé a soldier is a Yahoo hired to kill, in cold
blood, as many of his own species, who have never offended
him, as possibly he can.
"There is likewise a kind of beggarly princes in Europe, not
able to make war by themselves, who hire out their troops to
richer nations, for so much a day to each man; of which they
keep three-fourths to themselves, and it is the best part of
their maintenance; such as those in many northern parts of
Europe."
"What you have told me," said my master, "upon the sub-
ject of war, does indeed discover most admirably the effects
of that reason you pretend to: however, it is happy that the
shame is greater than the danger; and that nature has left
you utterly incapable of doing much mischief. For, your
ruths lying flat with your faces, you can hardly bite each
372
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
other to any purpose, unless by consent. Then as to the claws
upon your feet before and behind, they are so short and tender,
that one of our Yahoos would drive a dozen of yours before
him. And therefore, in recounting the numbers of those who
have been killed in battle, I cannot but think you have said
the thing which is not."
I could not forbear shaking my head, and smiling a little
at his ignorance. And being no stranger to the art of war,
I gave him a description of cannons, culverins, muskets, cara-
bines, pistols, bullets, powder, swords, bayonets battles, sieges
retreats, attacks, undermines, countermines, bombardments.
sea fights, ships sunk with a thousand men, twenty thousand
killed on each side, dying groans, limbs flying in the air, smoke,
noise, confusion, trampling to death under horses' feet, flight,
pursuit, victory; fields strewed with carcases left for food to
dogs, and wolves, and birds of prey; plundering, stripping,
ravishing, burning, and destroying. And to set forth the
valour of my own dear countrymen, I assured him, "that
I had seen them blow up a hundred enemies at once in a siege,
and as many in a ship; and beheld the dead bodies drop down in
pieces from the clouds, to the great diversion of the spectators."*
I was going on to more particulars, when ray master com-
*It would perhaps be impossible, by the most laboured argument, or forcible
eloquence, to shew the absurd injustice and horrid cruelty of war so effectually,
as by this simple exhibition of them in a new light; with war, including every
species of iniquity and every art of destruction, we become familiar, by degrees,
under specious terms, which are seldom examined, because they are learned at an
age in which the mind implicitly receives and retains whatever is impressed: thus It
Lappens, that when one man murders another to gratify his lust, we shudder;
but when one man murders a million to gratify his vanity, we approve and
we admire, we envy and we applaud. If when this and the preceding pages
are read, we discover with astonishment, that when the same events have occurred in
history we felt no emotion, and acquiesce in wars which we could not but know
to have been commenced for such causes, and carried on by such means; let not
him be censured for too much debasing his species, who has contributed to their
felicity and preservation, by stripping off the veil of custom and prejudice, and
holding up in their native deformity the vices by which they become wretched, and
the arts by which they are destroyed.-H.
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNEN MS. 373
manded me silence. He said, "whoever understood the nature
of Yahoos, might easily believe it possible for so vile an
animal to be capable of every action I had named, if their
strength and cunning equalled their malice. But as my dis-
course had increased his abhorrence of the whole species, so
he found it gave him a disturbance in his mind, to which he was
wholly a stranger before. He thought his ears, being used
to such abominable words, might, by degrees admit them with
less detestation: that although he hated the Yahoos of this
country, yet he no more blamed them for their odious quali-
ties, than he did a gnnayh (a bird of prey) for its cruelty, or
a sharp stone for cutting his hoof. But, when a creature pre-
tending to reason could be capable of such enormities, he
dreaded lest the corruption of that faculty might be worse
than brutality itself. He seemed therefore confident, that,
instead of reason, we were only possessed of some quality,
fitted to increase our natural vices; as the reflection from a
troubled stream returns the image of an ill-shapen body, not
only large but more distorted."
He added, "that he had heard too much upon the subject
of war, both in this and some former discourses.
There was
another point, which a little perplexed him at present. I had
informed him, that some of our crew left their country on
account of being ruined by law; that I had already explained
the meaning of the word; but he was at a loss how it should
come to pass, that the law, which was intended for every man's
preservation, should be any man's ruin. Therefore he desired
to be farther satisfied what I meant by law, and the dispensers
thereof, according to the present practice in my own country;
because he thought nature and reason were sufficient guides
for a reasonable animal, as we pretended to be, in shewing us
what we ought to do, and what to avoid."
I assured his honour, that law was a science, in which I
had not much conversed, farther than by employing advocates
374
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
in vain, upon some injustices that had been done me : however
I would give him all the satisfaction I was able."
I said, "there was a society of men among us, bred up
from their youth in the art of proving, by words multiplied
for the purpose, that white is black, and black is white, accord-
ing as they are paid. To this society all the rest of the peo-
ple are slaves. For example, if my neighbour has a mind to
my cow, he has a lawyer to prove that he ought to have my
cow from me. I must then hire another to defend my right,
it being against all rules of law that any man should be
allowed to speak for himself. Now, in this case, I, who am
the right owner, lie under two great disadvantages: first, my
lawyer, being practised almost from his cradle in defending
falsehood, is quite out of his element when he would be an
advocate for justice, which is an unnatural office he always
attempts with great awkwardness, if not with ill will. The
second disadvantage is, that my lawyer must proceed with
great caution, or else he will be reprimanded by the judges,
and abhorred by his brethren, as one that would lessen the
practice of the law. And therefore I have but two methods
to preserve my cow. The first is, to gain over my adversary's
lawyer with a double fee, who will then betray his client by
insinuating that he has justice on his side. The second way
is for my lawyer to make my cause appear as unjust as he can
by allowing the cow to belong to my adversary: and this, if
it be skilfully done, will certainly bespeak the favour of the
bench. Now your honour is to know, that these judges are
persons appointed to decide all controversies of property, as
well as for the trial of criminals, and picked out from the most
dexterous lawyers, who have grown old or lazy; and having
been biassed all their lives against truth and equity, lie under
such a fatal necessity of favouring fraud, perjury, and oppres-
sion, that I have known some of them refuse a large bribe
from the side where justice lay, rather than iniure the
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.
375
faculty, by doing any thing unbecoming their nature or their
office.
"It is a maxim among these lawyers, that whatever has
been done before, may legally be done again; and therefore
they take special care to record all the decisions formerly made
against common justice, and the general reason of mankind.
These, under the name of precedents, they produce as authori-
ties to justify the most iniquitous opinions: and the judges
never fail of directing accordingly.
“In pleading, they studiously avoid entering into the merits
of the cause; but are loud, violent, and tedious, in dwelling
upon all circumstances which are not to the purpose. For
instance, in the case already mentioned; they never desire to
know what claim or title my adversary has to my cow; but
whether the said cow were red or black; her horns long or
short; whether the field I graze her in be round or square;
whether she was milked at home or abroad; what diseases she
is subject to, and the like; after which they consult precedents,
adjourn the cause from time to time, and in ten, twenty, or
thirty years, come to an issue.
"It is likewise to be observed, that this society has a
peculiar cant and jargon of their own, that no other mortal
can understand, and wherein all their laws are written, which
they take special care to multiply; whereby they have wholly
confounded the very essence of truth and falsehood, of right
and wrong; so that it will take thirty years to decide, whether
the field, left me by my ancestors for six generations, belongs
to me, or to a stranger, three hundred miles off.
"In the trial of persons accused for crimes against the
state, the method is much more short and commendable: the
judge first sends to sound the disposition of those in power,
after which he can easily hang or save a criminal, strictly pre-
serving all due forms of law."
Here my master interposing, said, "it was a pity, that crea
376
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
tures endowed with such prodigious abilities of mind, as these
lawyers, by the description I gave of them, must certainly be,
were not rather encouraged to be instructors of others in wis-
dom and knowledge." In answer to which I assured his
honour," that in all points out of their own trade, they were
usually the most ignorant and stupid generation among us,
the most despicable in common conversation, avowed enemies
to all knowledge and learning, and equally disposed to pervert
the general reason of mankind, in every other subject of dis-
course as in that of their own profession"
A
VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHN HNMS, 377
CHAPTER. VI.
▲ coulinuation of the state in England under Queen Anne-The character of ®
first minister of state in European courts.
My master was yet wholly at a loss to understand what mo-
tives could incite this race of lawyers to perplex, disquiet, and
weary themselves, and engage in a confederacy of injustice,
merely for the sake of injuring their fellow-animals; neither
could he comprehend what I meant in saying, they did it for
hire. Whereupon I was at much pains to describe to him
the use of money, the materials it was made of; and the value
of the metals; "that when a Yahoo had got a great store of
this precious substance, he was able to purchase whatever he
had a mind to, the finest clothing, the noblest houses, great
tracts of land, the most costly meats and drinks; and have
his choice of the most beautiful females. Therefore, since
money alone was able to perform all these feats, our Yahoos
thought they could never have enough of it to spend, or to
save, as they found themselves inclined, from their natural bent
either to profusion or avarice. That the rich man enjoyed
the fruit of the poor man's labour, and the latter were a
thousand to one in proportion to the former. That the bulk
of our people were forced to live very miserably, by labouring
every day for small wages, to make a few live plentifully.
I enlarged myself much on these, and many other particulars
to the same purpose; but his honour was still to seek; for he
went upon a supposition that all animals had a title to thei
878
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
share in the productions of the earth, and especially those
who presided over the rest. Therefore he desired I would let
him know," what these costly meats were, and how any of us
happened to want them?" Whereupon I enumerated as
many sorts as came into my head, with the various methods
of dressing them, which could not be done without sending
vessels by sea to every part of the world, as well for liquors
to drink as for sauces and innumerable other conveniences.
I assured him, " that this whole globe of earth must be at least
three times gone round, before one of our better female Yahoos
could get her breakfast, or a cup to put it in." He said,
"that must needs be a miserable country, which cannot furnish
food for its own inhabitants. But what he chiefly wondered
at was, how such vast tracts of ground as I described should
be wholly without fresh water, and the people put to the
necessity of sending over the sea for drink." I replied, “that
England (the dear place of my nativity) was computed to
produce three times the quantity of food more than its inhabi-
tants are able to consume, as well as liquors extracted from
grain, or pressed out of the fruit of certain trees, which made
excellent drink; and the same proportion in every other con-
venience of life. But, in order to feed the luxury and intem-
perance of the males, and the vanity of the females, we sent
away the greatest part of our necessary things to other coun-
tries, whence in return we brought the materials of diseases,
folly, and vice, to spend among ourselves. Hence it
follows of necessity that vast numbers of our people are con-
pelled to seek their livelihood by begging, robbing, stealing,
cheating, pimping, flattering, suborning, forswearing, forging,
gaming, lying, fawning, hectoring, voting, serbibling, star-
gazing, poisoning, whoring, canting, libelling, free-thinking,
and the like occupations :" very one of which terms I was
at much pains to make him understand.
"That vine was not imported among us from foreign coun
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHN HNMS. 379
tries, to supply the want of water or other drinks, but because
it was a sort of liquid which made us merry, by putting us
out of our senses, diverted all melancholy thoughts, begat
wild extravagant imaginations in the brain, raised our hopes
and banished our fears, suspended every office of reason for a
time, and deprived us of the use of our limbs, till we fell into
a profound sleep; although it must be confessed that we
always awaked sick and dispirited; and that the use of this
liquor filled us with diseases, which made our lives uncomforta
ble and short.
"But besides all this, the bulk of our people supported
themselves by furnishing the necessities or conveniences of
life to the rich, and to each other. For instance, when I am
at home, and dressed as I ought to be, I carry on my body
the workmanship of a hundred tradesmen; the building and
furniture of my house employ as many more, and five times
the number to adorn my wife."
I was going on to tell him of another sort of people, who
get their livelihood by attending the sick, having, upon some
occasions, informed his honor, that many. of my crew had
died of diseases. But, here it was with the utmost difficulty
that I brought him to apprehend what I meant. "He could
easily conceive, that a Houyhnhnm grew weak and heavy a
few days before his death, or by some accident might hurt a
limb; but that nature, who works all things to perfection,
should suffer any pains to breed in our bodies, he thought im-
possible, and desired to know the reason of so unaccountable
an evil.”
I told him "we fed on a thousand things, which operated
contrary to each other; that we eat when we were not hun-
gry, and drank without the provocation of thirst; that we sat
whole nights drinking strong liquors, without eating a bit,
which disposed us to sloth, inflamed our bodies, and precipita
ted or prevented digestion. That prostitute female Yahoos
380
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
acquired a certain malady, which bred rottenness in the bones
of those who fell into their embraces; that this, and many
other diseases, were propagated from father to son; so that great
numbers come into the world with complicated maladies upon
them that it would be endless to give him a catalogue of all
diseases incident to human bodies, for they would not be fewer
than five or six hundred, spread over every limb and joint-
in short, every part, external and intestine, having diseases.
appropriated to itself. To remedy which, there was a sort of
people bred up among us in the profession, on pretence of
curing the sick. And because I had some skill in the faculty,
I would, in gratitude to his honour, let him know the whole
mystery and method by which they proceed.
Their fundamental is, that all diseases arise from repletion ;
whence they conclude, that a great evacuation of the body is
necessary, either through the natural passage or upwards at
the mouth. Their next business is, from herbs, minerals,
gums, oils, shells, salts, juices, seaweed, excrements, barks of
trees, serpents, toads, frogs, spiders, dead men's flesh and bones,
birds, beasts, and fishes, to form a composition, for smell and
taste, the most abominable, nauseous, and detestable, they
can possibly contrive, which the stomach immediately rejects
with loathing, and this they call a vomit; or else, from the
same storehouse, with some other poisonous additions, they
command us to take in at the orifice above or below (just as
the physician then happens to be disposed) a medicine equally
annoying and disgustful to the bowels; which, relaxing the
belly, drives down all before it; and this they call a purge or
clyster. For nature (as the physicians allege) having intend-
ed the superior anterior orifice only for the intromission of
solids and liquids, and the inferior posterior for ejection.
these artists* ingeniously considering, that in all diseases na-
"These artists," is a nominative, without any verb to which it refers in the
remainder of the sentence-S.
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHN HNMS. 381
ture is forced out of her seat, therefore, to replace her in it,
the body must be treated in a manner directly contrary, by
interchanging the use of each orifice; forcing solids and
liquids in at the anus, and making evacuations at the mouth.
"But, besides real diseases, we are subject to many that are
only imaginary, for which the physicians have invented imag
inary cures; these have their several names, and so have the
drugs that are proper for them; and with these our female
Yahoos are always infested.
"One great excellency in this tribe, is their skill at prognos-
tics, wherein they seldom fail; their predictions in real diseases,
when they rise to any degree of malignity, generally por-
tending death, which is always in their power, when recovery
is not and therefore, upon any unexpected signs of amend-
ment, after they pronounced their sentence, rather than be
accused as false prophets, they know how to approve their
agacity to the world, by a seasonable dose.
(6
-
They are likewise of special use to husbands and wives
who are grown weary of their mates; to eldest sons, to great
ministers of state, and often to princes."
I had formerly, upon occasions, discoursed with my master
upon the nature of government in general, and particularly or
our own excellent constitution, deservedly the wonder and
envy of the whole world. But having here accidentally men
tioned a minister of state, he commanded me some time after
to inform him, what species of Yahoo I particularly meant by
that appellation.
I told him, "that a first or chief minister of state, who was
the person I intended to describe, was a creature wholly ex-
empt from joy and grief, love and hatred, pity and anger: at
least makes use of no other passions, but a violent desire of
wealth, power, and titles; that he applies his word to all uses,
except to the indication of his mind; that he never tells a
truth but with an intent that you should take it for a lie
382
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
nor a lie, but with a design that you should take it for a
truth; that those he speaks worst of behind their backs are in
the surest way of preferment; and whenever he begins to
praise you to others, or to yourself, you are from that day
forlorn. The worst mark you can receive is a promise, espec-
ially when it is confirmed with an oath; after which every
wise man retires, and gives over all hopes.
"There are three methods, by which a man may rise to be
chief minister. The first is, by knowing how, with prudence,
to dispose of a wife, a daughter, or a sister: the second, by
betraying or undermining his predecessor: and the third is,
by a furious zeal, in public assemblies, against the corruptions
of the court. But a wise prince would rather choose to em-
ploy those who practise the last of these methods; because
such zealots prove always the most obsequious and subservient
to the will and passions of their master. That these minis-
ters, having all employments at their disposal, preserve them-
selves in power, by bribing the majority of a senate or great
council; and at last, by an expedient, called an act of indem-
nity (whereof I described the nature to him), they secure them-
selves from after-reckonings, and retire from the public, laden
with the spoils of the nation.
"The palace of a chief minister is a seminary to breed up
others in his own trade: the pages, lackeys, and porters, by
imitating their master, become ministers of state in their sev-
eral districts, and learn to excel in the three principal ingre-
dients, of insolence, lying, and bribery. Accordingly, they
have a subaltern court paid to them by persons of the best
rank; and sometimes, by the force of dexterity and impu-
dence, arrive, through several gradations, to be successors
to their lord.
"He is usually governed by a decayed wench, or favourite
footman, who are the tunnels, through which all graces are
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHN HNMS. 383
conveyed, and may properly be called, in the last resort, the
governors of the kingdom." ·
One day in discourse, my master, having heard me mention
the nobility of my country, was pleased to make me a com-
pliment, which I could not pretend to deserve: "that he was
sure I must have been born of some noble family, because I
far exceeded in shape, colour, and cleanliness, all the Yahoos
of his nation, although I seemed to fail in strength and agil-
ity, which must be imputed to my different way of living
from those other brutes; and besides, I was not only endow-
ed with the faculty of speech, but besides with some rudi-
ments of reason, to a degree that with all his acquaintance I
passed for a prodigy."
He made me observe, "that among the Houyhnhnms, the
white, the sorrel, and the iron-grey, were not so exactly
shaped as the bay, the dapple-grey, and the black; nor born
with equal talents of mind, or a capacity to improve them ;
and therefore continued always in the condition of servants,
without ever aspiring to match out of their own race, which
in that country would be reckoned monstrous and unnatu-
ral."
I made his honour my most humble acknowledgments for
the good opinion he was pleased to conceive of me; but
assured him, at the same time, that my birth was of the lower
sort, having been born of plain, honest parents, who were
just able to give me a tolerable education: that nobility,
amongst us, was altogether a different thing from the idea he
had of it; that our young noblemen are bred from their
childhood in idleness and luxury; that as soon as years will
permit, they consume their vigour, and contract odious dis-
eases among lewd females: and when their fortunes are almost
ruined, they marry some woman of mean birth, disagreeable
person, and unsound constitution (merely for the sake of
money), whom they hate and despise. That the productions
384
GULLIVER TRAVELS.
of such marriages are generally scrofulous, ricketty, or de-
formed children; by which means the family seldom contin-
ues above three generations, unless the wife takes care to pro-
vide a healthy father, among her neighbours or domestics, in
order to improve and continue the breed. That a weak dis-
eased body, a meagre countenance, and sallow complexion,
are the true marks of noble blood; and a healthy robust ap-
pearance is so disgraceful in a man of quality, that the world
concludes his real father to have been a groom or a coach-
mon. The imperfections of his mind run parallel with those
of his body, being a composition of spleen, dulness, ignorance,
caprice, sensuality, and pride.
"Without the consent of this illustrious body, no law can
be enacted, repealed or altered: and these nobles have like
vise the decision of all our possessions without appeal."
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHN HNMS. 885
CHAPTER VII.
The Author's great love of his native country-His master's observations upon the
constitution and administration of England, as described by the Author, with
parallel cases and comparisons-His master's observations upon human na-
ture.
THE reader may be disposed to wonder how I could pre-
vail on myself to give so free a representation of my own spe-
cies, among a race of mortals who are already too apt to con-
ceive the vilest opinion of human kind, from that entire con-
gruity between me and their Yahoos. But I must freely con-
fess, that the many virtues of those excellent quadrupeds,
placed in opposite view to human corruptions, had so far
opened my eyes and enlarged my understanding, that I began
to view the actions and passions of man in a very different
light, and to think the honour of my own kind not worth
managing; which, besides, it was impossible for me to do,
before a person of so acute a judgment as my master, who
daily convinced me of a thousand faults in myself, whereof I
had not the least perception before, and which, with us, would
never be numbered even among human infirmities. I had
likewise learned, from his example, an utter detestation of all
falsehood or disguise; and truth appeared so amiable to me,
that I determined upon sacrificing everything to it.
Let me deal so candidly with the reader as to confess that
there was yet a much stronger motive for the freedom I took
in my representation of things. I had not yet been a year
in this country before I contracted such a love and veneration
17
386
GULLIVERA TRAVELS.
for the inhabitants, that I entered on a firm resolution never
to return to human kind, but to pass the rest of my life among
the admirable Houyhnhnms, in the contemplation and prac-
Sice of every virtue; where I could have no example or incite-
ment to vice. But it was decreed by fortune, my perpetual
enemy, that so great a felicity should not fall to my share.
However, it is now some comfort to reflect, that in what I
said of my countrymen, I extenuated their faults as much as
I durst before so strict an examiner; and upon every articlə
gave as favourable a turn as the matter would bear. For,
indeed, who is there alive that will not be swayed by his bias
and partiality to the place of his birth?
I have related the substance of several conversations I
had with my master, during the greatest part of the time I
had the honour to be in his service; but have, indeed. for
brevity sake, omitted much more than is here set down.
When I had answered all his questions, and his curiosity
seemed to be fully satisfied, he sent for me one morning
early, and commanded me to sit down at some distance (an
honour which he had never before conferred upon me). He
said, "he had been very seriously considering my whole
story, as far as it related both to myself and to my country:
that he looked upon us as a sort of animals, to whose share,
by what accident he could not conjecture, some small pit-
tance of reason had fallen, whereof we made no other use,
than by its assistance to aggravate our natural corruptions,
and to acquire new ones, which nature had not given us;
that we disarmed ourselves of the few abilities she had
bestowed; had been very successful in multiplying our orig
inal wants, and seemed to spend our whole lives in vain en-
deavours to supply them by our own inventions. That as to
myself, it was manifest I had neither the strength nor agility
of a common Yahoo; that I walked infirmly on my hinder
feet; had found out a contrivance to make my claws of ne
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS. 387
use or defence, and to remove the hair from my chin, which
was intended as a shelter from the sun and the weather.
Lastly, that I could neither run with speed, nor climb trees,
like my brethren," as he called them, "the Yahoos in his
country."
"That our institutions of government and law were plainly
owing to our gross defects in reason, and by consequence in vir-
tue; because reason alone is sufficient to govern a rational crea-
ture; which was therefore a character we had no pretence to
challenge, even from the account I had given of my own people;
although be manifestly perceived, that, in order to favour them,
I had concealed many particulars, and often said the thing
which was not.
"He was the more confirmed in this opinion, because he
observed, that as I agreed in every feature of my body with
other Yahoos, except where it was to my real disadvantage in
point of strength, speed, and activity, the shortness of my
claws and some other particulars where nature had no part: so
from the representation I had given him of our lives, our man-
ners, and our actious, he found as near a resemblance in the
disposition of our minds." He said, "the Yahoos were
known to hate one another, more than they did any different
species of animals; and the reason usually assigned was, the
odiousness of their own shapes, which all could see in the rest.
but not in themselves. He had therefore begun to think it
not unwise in us to cover our bodies, and by that invention
conceal many of our deformities from each other, which would
else be hardly supportable. But he now found he had been.
mistaken, and that the dissensions of those brutes in his
country were owing to the same cause with ours, as I had
described them. For if," said he, "you throw among five
Yahoos as much food as would be sufficient for fifty, they will,
instead of eating peaceably, fall together by the ears, each
single one impatient to have all to itself; and therefore a
388
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
servant was usually employed to stand by while they were
feeding abroad, and those kept at home were tied at a distance
from each other: that if a cow died of age or accident, before
a Houyhnhnm could secure it for his own Yahoos, those in the
neighbourhood would come in herds to seize it, and then
would ensue such a battle as I had described, with terrible
wounds made by their claws on both sides, although they sel-
dom were able to kill one another, for want of such convenient
instruments of death as we had invented. At other tirnes the
like battles have been fought between the Yahoos of several
neighbourhoods, without any visible cause; those of one dis-
trict watching all opportunities to surprise the next, before
they are prepared. But if they find their project has miscar-
ried, they return home, and, for want of enemies, engage in
what I call a civil war among themselves.
"That in some fields of his country there are certain shin-
ing stones of several colours, whereof the Yahoos are violently
fond; and when part of these stones is fixed in the earth, as
it sometimes happens, they will dig with their claws for whole.
days to get them out, then carry them away, and hide them
by heaps in their kennels; but still looking round with
great caution, for fear their comrades should find out their
treasure." My master said, "he could never discover
the reason of this unnatural appetite, or how these stones
could be of any use to a Yahoo; but now he believed it
might proceed from the same principle of avarice which I had
ascribed to mankind. That he had once, by way of experi-
ment, privately removed a heap of these stones from the place
where one of his Yahoos had buried it; whereupon the sordid
animal, missing his treasure, by his loud lamenting brought
the whole herd to the place, there miserably howled, then fell
to biting and tearing the rest; began to pine away, would
neither eat, nor sleep, nor work, till he ordered a servant pri-
vately to convey the stones into the same hole, and hide them
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.
389
as before; which, when his Yahoo had found, he presently
recovered his spirits and good humour, but took good care to
remove them to a better hiding-place, and has ever since been a
very serviceable brute."
My master farther assured me, which I also observed myself,
"that in the fields where the shining stones abound, the fiercest
and most frequent battles are fought, occasioned by perpetual
inroads of the neighbouring Yahoos."
He said, "it was common, when two Yahoos discovered such
a stone in a field, and were contending which of them should
be the proprietor, a third would take the advantage, and carry
it away from them both ;" which my master would needs con-
tend to have some kind of resemblance with our suits at law;
where in I thought it for our credit not to undeceive him ;
since the decision he mentioned was much more equitable
than many decrees among us: because the plaintiff and de-
fendant there lost nothing beside the stone they contended
for; whereas our courts of equity would never have dismissed
the cause, while either of them had anything left.
My master, continuing his discourse, said, "there was noth-
ing that rendered the Yahoos more odious, than their undis-
tinguishing appetite to devour every thing that came in their
way, whether herbs, roots, berries, the corrupted flesh of ani-
mals, or all mingled together: and it was peculiar in their
temper, that they were fonder of what they could get by
rapine or stealth, at a greater distance, than much better food
provided for them at home. If their prey held out, they
would eat till they were ready to burst; after which nature
had pointed out to them a certain root that gave them a gen-
eral evacuation.
"There was also another kind of root, very juicy, but some-
what rare and difficult to be found, which the Yahoos sought
for with much eagerness, and would suck it with great de-
light; it produced in them the same effects that wine has
390
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
upon us. It would make them sometimes hug, and sometimes
tear one another; they would howl, and grin, and chatter,
and reel, and tumble, and then fall asleep in the mud."
I did indeed observe that the Yahoos were the only animals
in this country subject to any diseases; which, however, were
much fewer than horses have among us, and contracted not
by any ill-treatment they meet with, but by the nastiness and
greediness of that sordid brute. Neither has their language
any more than a general appellation for these maladies, which
is borrowed from the name of the beast, and called hnea
yahoo, or Yahoo's evil; and the cure prescribed is a mixture
of their own dung and urine, forcibly put down the Yahoo's
throat. This I have since often known to have been taken
with success, and do here freely recommend it to my coun-
trymen, for the public good, as an adinirable specific against.
all diseases produced by repletion.
"As to learning, government, arts, manufactures, and the
like," my master confessed, "he could find little or no resem-
blance between the Yahoos of that country and those in ours.
For he only meant to observe, what parity there was in our
natures. He had heard, indeed, some curious Houyhnhnms
observe, that in most herds there was a sort of ruling Yahoo,
(as among us there is generally some leading or principal
stag in a park), who is always more deformed in body, and
mischievous in disposition, than any of the rest. That this
leader had usually a favourite, as like himself as he could
get, whose employment was to lick his master's feet and pos-
teriors, and drive the female Yahoos to his kennel ;* for which
he was now and then rewarded with a piece of ass's flesh.
This favourite is hated by the whole herd, and therefore, to
protect himself, keeps always near the person of his leader.
He usually continues in office till a worse can be found: but
the very moment he is discarded, his successor, at the head
* Flattery and pimping.-H.
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHN HNMS. 391
of all the Yahoos in that district, young and old, male and
female, come in a body,* and discharged their excrements
upon him from head to foot. But how far this might be ap-
plicable to our courts and favourites, and ministers of state,
my master said I could best determine."
I durst make no return to this malicious insinuation, which
debased human understanding below the sagacity of a com-
mon hound, who has judgment enough to distinguish and fol-
low the cry of the ablest dog in the pack, without being ever
mistaken.
My master told me "there were some qualities remarkable
in the Yahoos, which he had not observed me to mention, or
at least very slightly, in the accounts I had given of human
kind." He said, “those animals, like other brutes, had their
females in common; but in this they differed, that the she
Yahoo would admit the males while she was pregnant; and
that the hes would quarrel and fight with the females, as
fiercely as with each other; both which practices were such
degrees of infamous brutality, as no other sensitive creature
ever arrived at.
"Another thing he wondered at in the Yahoos, was their
strange disposition to nastiness and dirt; whereas there ap-
pears to be a natural love of cleanliness in all other animals.”
As to the two former accusations, I was glad to let them pass
without any reply, because I had not a word to offer upon
them in defence of my species, which otherwise I certainly had
done from my own inclinations. But I could have easily vin-
dicated humankind from the imputation of singularity upon
the last article, if there had been any swine in the country
(as unluckily for me there were not), which, although it may
be a sweeter quadruped than a Yahoo, cannot, I humbly con
* This sentence 's altogether ungrammatical : "his successor," is the only nomi-
native to the plural verb " come;" it may be thus amended-" but the very mo
ment he is discarded, all the Yahoos in that district, yourg and old, male and
female, with his successor at their head, come in a body," &c.-S.
392
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
ceive, in justice, pretend to more cleanliness; and so his hon-
our himself must have owned, if he had seen their filthy way of
feeding, and their custom of wallowing and sleeping in
mud.
My master likewise mentioned another quality, which his
servants had discovered in several Yahoos, and to him was
wholly unaccountable. He said, "a fancy would sometimes.
take a Yahoo to retire into a corner, to lie down, and howl,
and moan, and spurn away all that came near him, though
ho were young and fat, wanted neither food nor water, nor
did the servant imagine what might possibly ail him. And
the only remedy they found was, to set him to hard work,
after which he would infallibly come to himself." To this I
was silent, out of partiality to my kind; yet here I could
plainly discover the true seeds of spleen, which only seizes on
the lazy, the luxurious, and the rich; who,* if they were
forced to undergo the same regimen, I would undertake for
the cure.
His honour had farther observed, "that a female Yahoo
would often stand behind a bank or a bush, to gaze on the
young males passing by, and then appear, and hide, using
many antic grimaces, at which time it was observed that she
had a most offensive smell; and when any of the males ad-
vanced, would slowly retire, looking often back, and with a
counterfeit show of fear, run off into some convenient place,
where she knew the male would follow her.
"At other times, if a female stranger came among them,
three or four of her own sex would get about her, and stare,
and chatter, and grin, and smell her all over; and then turn
off with gestures, that seemed to express contempt and disdain.”
Perhaps my master might refine a little in these specula-
tions, which he had drawn from what he observed himself,
*Here the word "who," is a nominative without reference to any verb after-
ward.-S.
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHN MS. 393
or had been told him by others; however, I could not reflect
without some amazement, and much sorrow, that the rudi-
ments of lewdness, coquetry, censure, and scandal, should
have place by instinct in womankind.
I expected every moment that my master would accuse
the Yahoos of those unnatural appetites in both sexes, so com-
mon among us. But Nature, it seems, has not been so ex-
pert a schoolmistress; and these politer pleasures are entirely
the productions of Art and Reason on our side of the globe
17"
394
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
bly.
CHAPTER VII.
The Author relates several particulars of the Yahoos-The great virtaes of the
Houyhnhnms-The education and exercise of their youth-Their general assem-
As I ought to have understood human nature much better
than I supposed it possible for my master to do, so it was
easy to apply the character he gave of the Yahoos to myself
and my countrymen; and I believed I could yet make farther
discoveries, from my own observation. I therefore often beg-
ged his honour to let me go among the herds of Yahoos in
the neighbourhood; to which he always very graciously con-
sented, being perfectly convinced that the hatred I bore these
brutes would never suffer me to be corrupted by them; and
his honour ordered one of his servants, a strong sorrel nag,
very honest and good-natured, to be my guard; without
whose protection I durst not undertake such adventures. For
I have already told the reader how much I was pestered by
these odious animals, upon my first arrival; and I afterward
failed very narrowly three or four times of falling into their
clutches, when I happened to stray at any distance without my
hanger. And I have reason to believe they had some imagi-
nation that I was of their own species, which I often assisted
myself by stripping up my sleeves, and showing my naked
arms and breasts in their sight, when my protector was with
me. At which times they would approach as near as they
duret, and imitate my actions after the manner of monkeys.
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.
395
out ever with great signs of hatred; as a tame jackdaw with
cap and stockings is always persecuted by the wild ones,
when he happens to be got among them.
They are prodigiously nimble from their infancy. How-
ever, I once caught a young male of three years old, and en-
deavoured, by all marks of tenderness, to make it quiet; but
the little imp fell a squalling, and scratching, and biting with
such violence, that I was forced to let it go; and it was high
time, for a whole troop of old ones came about us at the-
noise, but finding the cub was safe (for away it ran), and my
sorrel nag being by, they durst not venture near us. I ob-
served the young animal's flesh to smell very rank, and the
stink was somewhat between a weasel and a fox, but much
more disagreeable. I forgot another circumstance (and per-
haps I might have the reader's pardon if it were wholly omit-
ted), that while I held the odious vermin in my hands, it
voided its filthy excrements, of a yellow liquid substance, all
over my clothes; but by good fortune there was a small
brook hard by, where I washed myself as clean as I could;
although I durst not come into my master's presence until I
were sufficiently aired.
By what I could discover, the Yahoos appear to be the
most unteachable of all animals: their capacities never reach-
ing higher than to draw or carry burdens. Yet I am of opin-
ion, this defect arises chiefly from a perverse, restiff disposition
For they are cunning, malicious, treacherous, and revengeful.
They are strong and hardy, but of a cowardly spirit, and by
consequence insolent, abject, and cruel. It is observed, that
the red-haired of both sexes are more libidinous and mischie-
vous than the rest, whom yet they much exceed in strength
and activity.
The Houyhnhnms keep the Yahoos for present use in huts
not far from the house; but the rest are sent abroad to cer-
tain fields, where they dig up roots, eat several kinds of herbs,
396
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
and search about for carrion, or sometimes catch weasels
and luhimuhs (a sort of wild rat), which they greedily devour.
Nature has taught them to dig deep holes with their nails on
the side of a rising ground, wherein they lie by themselves;
only the kennels of the females are larger, sufficient to hold
two or three cubs.
They swim from their infancy like frogs, and are able to
continue long under water, where they often take fish, which
the females carry home to their young. And upon this occa-
sion, I hope the reader will pardon my relating an odd adven-
ture.
Being one day abroad with my protector, the sorrel nag,
and the weather exceeding hot, I entreated him to let me bathe
in a river that was near. He consented, and I immediately
stripped myself stark naked, and went down softly into the
stream. It happened that a young female Yahoo, standing
behind a bank, saw the whole proceeding, and inflamed by
desire, as the nag and I conjectured, came running with all
speed, and leaped into the water, within five yards of the
place where I bathed. I was never in my life so terribly
frightened. The nag was grazing at some distance, not sus-
pecting any harm. She embraced me after a most fulsome
I roared as loud as I could, and the nag came gal-
loping towards me, whereupon she quitted her grasp, with the
utmost reluctancy, and leaped upon the opposite bank, where
she stood gazing and howling all the time I was putting on
my clothes.
manner.
This was a matter of diversion to my master and his family,
as well as of mortification to myself. For now I could no
longer deny that I was a real Yahoo in every limb and fea-
ture, since the females had a natural propensity to me, as one
of their own species; neither was the hair of this brute of a
red colour (which might have been some excuse for an appe-
tite a little irregular), but black as a sloe, and her courtenance
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.
397
did not make an appearance altogether so hideous as the rest
of her kind; for I think she could not be above eleven years
old.
Having lived three years in this country, the reader, I sup-
pose, will expect that I should, like other travellers, give him
some account of the manners and customs of its inhabitants,
which it was indeed my principal study to learn.
As these noble Houyhnhnms are endowed by nature with
a general disposition to all virtues, and have no conceptions
or ideas of what is evil in a rational creature; so their grand
maxim is, to cultivate reason, and to be wholly governed by
it. Neither is reason among them a point problematical, as
with us, where men can argue with plausibility on both sides
of the question; but strikes you with immediate conviction;
as it must needs do, where it is not mingled, obscured, or dis-
coloured, by passion and interest. I remember it was with
extreme difficulty that I could bring my master to understand
the meaning of the word opinion, or how a point could be
disputable; because reason taught us to affirm or deny only
where we are certain; and beyond our knowledge we cannot
do either. So that controversies, wranglings, disputes, and
positiveness, in false or dubious propositions, are evils unknown
among the Houyhnhnms. In the like manner, when I used
to explain to him our several systems of natural philosophy,
he would laugh "that a creature pretending to reason, should
value itself upon the knowledge of other people's conjectures
and in things where that knowledge, if it were certain, could
be of no use." Wherein he agreed entirely with the senti
ments of Socrates as Plato delivers them; which I mention
as the highest honour I can do that prince of philosophers.
I have often since reflected, what destruction such doctrines
would make in the libraries of Europe; and how many paths
of fame would be then shut up in the learned world.
Friendship and benevolence are the two principal virtues
398
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
among the Houyhnhnms, and these are not confined to particu
lar objects, but universal to the whole race. For a stranger from
the remotest part is equally treated with the nearest neigh-
bour; and wherever, he goes, looks upon himself as at home.
They preserve decency and civility in the highest degrees, but
are altogether ignorant of ceremony. They have no fondness
for their colts or foals, but the care they take in educating
them proceeds entirely from the dictates of reason. And I
observed my master to shew the same affection to his neigh-
bour's issue, that he had for his own. They will have it that
nature teaches them to love the whole species, and it is rea-
son only that makes a distinction of persons, where there is a
superior degree of virtue.
When the matron Houyhnhnms have produced one of each
sex, they no longer accompany with their consorts, except
they lose one of their issue by some casualty, which very sel-
dom happens; but in such a case they meet again; or when
the like accident befalls a person whose wife is past bearing,
some other couple bestow on him one of their own colts, and
then go together again until the mother is pregnant. This
caution is necessary, to prevent the country from being over-
burdened with numbers. But the race of inferior Houyhnhnms
bred up to be servants, is not so strictly limited upon this
article: these are allowed to produce three of each sex, to
be domestics in the noble families.
In their marriages, they are exactly careful to choose such
colours as will not make any disagreeable mixture in the
breed. Strength is chiefly valued in the male, and comeli-
ness in the female; not upon the account of love, but to pre-
serve the race from degenerating; for where a female hap
pens to excel in strength, a consort is chosen, with regard to
comeliness.
Courtship, love, presents, jointures, settlements, have no
place in their thoughts; or terms whereby to express them
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.
399
in their language. The young couple meet, and are joined,
merely because it is the determination of their parents and
friends it is what they see done every day, and they look
upon it as one of the necessary actions of a reasonable being.
But the violation of marriage, or any other unchastity, was
never heard of, and the married pair pass their lives with the
same friendship and mutual benevolence, that they bear to
all others of the same species who come in their way; with-
out jealousy, fondness, quarrelling, or discontent.
In educating the youth of both sexes, their method is ad-
mirable, and highly deserves our imitation. These are not
suffered to taste a grain of oats, except upon certain days, till
eighteen years old; nor milk, but very rarely; and in sum-
mer they graze two hours in the morning, and as many in
the evening, which their parents likewise observe; but the
servants are not allowed above half that time, and a great part
of their grass is brought home, which they eat at the most
convenient hours, when they can be best spared from work.
Temperance, industry, exercise, and cleanliness, are the les
sons equally enjoined to the young ones of both sexes; and
my master thought it monstrous in us, to give the females a
different kind of education from the males, except in some
articles of domestic management; whereby, as he truly ob-
served, one half of our natives were good for nothing but
bringing children into the world: and to trust the care of
our children to such useless animals, he said, was yet a greater
instance of brutality.
But the Houyhnhnms train up their youth to strength, speed,
and hardiness by exercising them in running races up and down
steep hills, and over hard stony grounds; and when they are
all in a sweat, they are ordered to leap over head and ears
into a pond or river. Four times a year the youth of a cer-
tain district meet to shew their proficiency in running and
leaping, and other feats of strength and agility: where the
400
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
victor is rewarded with a song in his or her praise. On this
festival, the servants drive a herd of Yahoos into the field,
laden with hay, and oats, and milk, for a repast to the
Houyhnhnms, after which, these brutes are immediately
driven back again, for fear of being noisome to the assem-
bly.
Every fourth year, at the vernal equinox, there is a repre-
sentative council of the whole nation, which meets in a plain
about twenty miles from our house, and continues about five
or six days. Here they inquire into the state and condition
of the several districts; whether they abound or be deficient
in hay, or oats, or cows, or Yahoos: and wherever there is
any want (which is but seldom) it is immediately supplied by
unanimous consent and contribution. Here likewise the reg-
ulation of children is settled as for instance, if a Houyhnhnm
has two males, he changes one of them with another that has
two females and when a child has been lost by any casualty
where the mother is past breeding, it is determined what
family in the district shall breed another to supply the
loss.
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHN HNMS. 401
CHAPTER IX.
A grand debate at the general assembly of the Houyhnhnms, and how it was deter-
mined-The learning of the Houyhnhnms-Their buildings-Their manner. of
burials--The defectiveness of their language.
ONE of these grand assemblies was held in my time, about
three months before my departure, whither my master went
as the representative of our district. In this council was
resumed their old debate, and indeed the only debate that
ever happened in their country; whereof my master, after
his return, gave me a very particular account.
The question to be debated was,
"Whether the Yahoos
should be exterminated from the face of the earth?" One
of the members for the affirmative offered several arguments
of great strength and weight, alleging, "that as the Yahoos
were the most filthy, noisome, and deformed animal which
nature ever produced, so they were the most restiff and indo-
cible, mischievous and malicious; they would privately suck
the teats of the Houyhnhnms' cows, kill and devour their cats,
trample down their oats and grass, if they were not continu-
ally watched, and commit a thousand other extravagancies."
He took notice of a general tradition "that Yahoos had not
been always in their country; but that, many ages ago, two
of these brutes appeared together upon a mountain; whether
produced by the heat of the sun upon corrupted mud and
slime, or from the ooze and froth of the sea, was never known :
that these Yahoos engendered, and their brood, in a short
402
GULLIVER S TRAVELƐ.
time, grew so numerous as to overrun and infest the whole
nation; that the Houyhnhnms, to get rid of this evil, made a
general hunting, and at last enclosed the whole herd; and
destroying the elder, every Houyhnhnm kept two young
ones in a kennel, and brought them to such a degree of tame-
ness, as an animal, so savage by nature, can be capable of
acquiring; using them for draught and carriage: that there
seemed to be much truth in this tradition, and that those
creatures could not be ylnhniamshy (or aborigines of the land),
because of the violent hatred the Houyhnhnms, as well as
all other animals bore, them, which, although their evil dispo-
sition sufficiently deserved, could never have arrived at so
high a degree, if they had been aborigines; or else they would
have been long since rooted out: that the inhabitants, taking
a fancy to use the service of the Yahoos, had very imprudently
neglected to cultivate the breed of asses, which are a comely
animal, easily kept, more tame and orderly, without any
offensive smell; strong enough for labour, although they yield
to the other in agility of body; and if their braying be no
agreeable sound, it is far preferable to the horrible howlings.
of the Yahoos."
Several others declared their sentiments to the same pur-
pose, when my master proposed an expedient to the assembly,
whereof he had indeed borrowed the hint from me. "He
approved of the tradition mentioned by the honourable mem-
ber who spoke before, and affirmed that the two Yahoos said
to be first seen among them, had been driven thither over the
sea that coming to land, and being forsaken by their com-
panions, they retired to the mountains, and degenerating by
degrees, became in process of time much more savage than
those of their own species in the country whence these two
originals came. The reason of this assertion was, that he had
now in his possession a certain wonderful Yahoo (meaning
myself), which most of them had heard of, and many of them
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.
403
seen. He then related to them how he first found me; that
my body was all covered with an artificial composure of tho
skins and hairs of other animals: that I spoke in a language
of my own, and bad thoroughly learned theirs; that I had
related to him the accidents which brought me thither; that
when he saw me without any covering, I was an exact Yahoo
in every part, only of a whiter colour, less hairy, and with
shorter claws. He added, how I had endeavoured to persuade
him, that in my own and other countries, the Yahoos acted
as the governing rational animal, and held the Houyhnhnms
in servitude; that he observed in me all the qualities of a
Yahoo, only a little more civilized by some tincture of reason,
which, however, was in a degree as far inferior to the Hou-
yhnhnm race, as the Yahoos of their country were to me;
that among other things, I mentioned a custom we had of
castrating Houyhnhnms when they were young, in order to
render them tame; that the operation was easy and safe;
that it was no shame to learn wisdom from brutes, as indus-
try was taught by the ant, and building by the swallow (for
so I translate the word lyhannh, although it be a much larger
fowl); that this invention might be practised upon the
younger Yahoos here, which besides rendering them tractable
and fitter for use, would in an age put an end to the whole
species, without destroying life; that in the mean time the
Houyhnhnms should be exhorted to cultivate the breed of
asses, which as they are in all respects more valuable brutes,
so they have this advantage, to be fit for service at five years
old, which the others are not till twelve."
This was all my master thought fit to tell me at that time,
of what passed in the grand council. But he was pleased to
conceal one particular, which related personally to myself,
whereof I soon felt the unhappy effect, as the reader will
know in its proper place, and whence I date all the succeed.
ing misfortunes of my life.
404
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
The Houyhnhnms have no letters, and consequently their
knowledge is all traditional. But there happening few events.
of any moment among a people so well united, naturally dis-
posed to every virtue, wholly governed by reason, and cut off
from all commerce with other nations, the historical part is
easily preserved without burdening their memories. I have
already observed that they are subject to no diseases, and
therefore can have no need of physicians. However, they
have excellent medicines, composed of herbs to cure acciden-
tal bruises and cuts in the pastern or frog of the foot by sharp
stones, as well as other maims and hurts in the several parts
of the body.
They calculate the year by the revolutions of the sun and
moon, but use no subdivisions into weeks. They are well
enough acquainted with the motions of these two luminaries
and understand the nature of eclipses; and this is the utmost
progress of their astronomy.
In poetry, they must be allowed to excel all other mortals;
wherein the justness of their similes, and the minuteness as
well as the exactness of their descriptions, are indeed inimit-
able. Their verses abound very much in both of these, and
usually contain either some exalted notions of friendship and
benevolence, or the praises of those who were victors in races
and other bodily exercises. Their buildings, although very
rude and simple, are not inconvenient, but well contrived to
defend them from all injuries of cold and heat. They have a
kind of tree, which at forty years old loosens in the root, and
falls with the first storm; it grows very straight, and being
pointed like stakes, with a sharp stone (for the Houyhnhnms
know not the use of iron), they stick them erect in the ground,
about ten inches asunder, and then weave in oat straw, or
sometimes wattles between them. The roof is made after the
same manner, and so are the doors.
The Houyhnhnms use the hollow part, between the pastern
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHN HNM8. 405
and the hoof of the fore-foot, as we do our hands, and this
with greater dexterity than I could at first imagine. I have
seen a white mare of our family thread a needle (which I lent
her on purpose) with that joint. They milk their cows, reap
their oats, and do all the work which requires hands in the
same manner. They have a kind of hard flints, which by
grinding against other stones, they form into instruments,
that serve instead of wedges, axes, and hammers. With
tools made of these flints, they likewise cut their hay, and
reap their oats, which there grow naturally in several fields;
the Yahoos draw home the sheaves in carriages, and the ser-
vants tread them in certain covered huts to get out the grain,
which was kept in stores. They make a rude kind of earthen
and wooden vessels, and bake the former in the sun.
If they can avoid casualties, they die ouly of old age, and
are buried in the obscurest places that can be found, their
friends and relations expressing neither joy nor grief at their
departure; nor does the dying person discover the least re-
gret that he is leaving the world, any more than if he were
upon returning home from a visit to one of his neighbours. I
remember my master having once made an appointment with
a friend of his family to come to his house, upon some affair
of importance on the fixed day, the mistress and her two
children came very late; she made two excuses, first for her
husband, who, as she said, happened that very morning to
thnuwnh. The word is strongly expressive in their language,
but not easily rendered into English; it signifies, "to retire
to his first mother." Her excuse for not coming sooner, was,
that her husband dying late in the morning, she was a good
while consulting her servants about a convenient place where
his body should be laid; and I observed, she behaved herself
at our house as cheerfully as the rest: she died about three
months after.
They live generally to seventy or seventy-five years, verv
406
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
V
seldom to fourscore: some weeks before their death, they
feel a gradual decay, but without pain. During this time
they are much visited by their friends, because they cannot go
abroad with their usual ease and satisfaction. However,
about ten days before their death, which they seldom fail in
computing, they return the visits that have been made them
by those who are nearest in the neighbourhood, being carried
in a convenient sledge drawn by Yuhoos; which vehicle they
use, not only upon this occasion, but when they grow old,
upon long journeys, or when they are lamed by any accident;
and therefore when the dying Houyhnhnms return those visits,
they take a solemn leave of their friends, as if they were
going to some remote part of the country, where they design-
ed to pass the rest of their lives.
I know not whether it may be worth observing, that the
Houyhnhnms have no word in their language to express any
thing that is evil, except what they borrow from the deformi-
ties or ill qualities of the Yahoos. Thus they denote the
folly of a servant, an omission of a child, a stone that cuts
their feet, a continuance of foul or unseasonable weather, and
the like, by adding to each the epithet of Yahoo. For in-
stance hhnm Yahoo; whnaholm Yahoo, ynlhmndwiklma
Yahoo, and an ill-contrived house ynholmhnmrohlnw Yahoo.
-
I could, with great pleasure, enlarge farther upon the man-
ners and virtues of this excellent people; but intending in a
short time to publish a volume by itself, expressly upon that
subject, I refer the reader thither; and in the mean time,
proceed to relate my own sad catastrophe.
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHN HNMS. 407
CHAPTER. X.
The Author's economy, and happy life, among the Houyhnhnms-His great improve-
ment in virtue by conversing with them-Their conversations-The Author has
notice given him by his master, that he must depart from the country-He falls
into a swoon for grief: but submits-He contrives and finishes a canoe by the
help of a fellow-servant, and puts to sea at a venture.
I HAD settled my little economy to my own heart's content.
My master had ordered a room to be made for me, after their
manner, about six yards from the house: the sides and floors
of which I plastered with clay, and covered with rush mats of
my own contriving; I had beaten hemp, which there grows
wild, and made of it a sort of ticking; this I filled with the
feathers of several birds I had taken with springes made of
Yahoos' hairs, and* were excellent food. I had worked two
chairs with my knife, the sorrel nag helping me in the grosser
and more laborious part. When my clothes were worn to
rags, I made myself others with the skins of rabbits, and of a
certain beautiful animal, about the same size, called nnuhnoh,
the skin of which is covered with a fine down. Of these I
also made very tolerable stockings. I soled my shoes with
wood, which I cut from a tree, and fitted to the upper leather;
and when this was worn out, I supplied it with the skins of
Yahoos dried in the sun. I often got honey out of hollow
* It should be-and "which" were excellent food. This sentence is faulty in
other respects; but here, as well as in many other passages of these Voyages, the
author has intentionally made use of inaccurate expressions, and studied negli-
gence,in order to make the style more like that of a seafaring man, on which account
they have been passed over in silence, where such intention was ovious—.S.
408
GULLIVER'S TRAVELB.
trees, which I mingled with water, or ate with my bread.
No man could more verify the truth of these two maxims,
"That nature is very easily satisfied;" and, "That necessity is
the mother of invention. " I enjoyed perfect health of body,
and tranquillity of mind; I did not feel the treachery or in-
constancy of a friend, nor the injuries of a secret or open
enemy. I had no occasion of bribing, flattering, or pimping,
to procure the favour of any great man, or of his minion. I
wanted no fence against fraud or oppression: here was neither
physician to destroy my body, nor lawyer to ruin my fortune.
no informer to watch my words and actions, or forge accusa
tions against me for hire: here were no gibers, censurers, back-
biters, pickpockets, highwaymen, housebreakers, attorneys,
bawds, buffoons, gamesters, politicians, wits, splenetics, tedious
talkers, controvertists, ravishers, murderers, robbers, virtuosos;
no leaders, or followers, of party and faction; no encour-
agers to vice, by seducement or examples; no dungeon, axes,
gibbets, whipping-posts, or pillories; no cheating shop-keepers
or mechanics; no pride, vanity, or affectation; no fops, bul
lies, drunkards, strolling whores, or poxes; no ranting, lewd,
expensive wives; no stupid, proud pedants; no importunate,
overbearing, quarrelsome, noisy, roaring, empty, conceited,
swearing companions; no scoundrels raised from the dust upon
the merit of their vices, or nobility thrown into it on account
of their virtues; no lords, fiddlers, judges, or dancing-mas-
ters.
I had the favour of being admitted to several Houyhnhnms,
who came to visit or dine with my master; where his honour
graciously suffered me to wait in the room, and listen to their
discourse. Both he and his company would often descend te
ask me questions, and receive my answers. I had also some-
times the honour of attending my master in his visits to others.
I never presumed to speak, except in answer to a question;
and then I did it with inward regret, because it was a loss
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHN HNMS.
409
of so much time for improving myself: but I was in ately
delighted with the station of an humble auditor in such con-
versations, where nothing passed but what was useful, expressed
in the fewest and most significant words: where, as I have
already said, the greatest decency was observed, without the
least degree of ceremony; where no person spoke without
being pleased himself, and pleasing his companions; where
there was no interruption, tediousness, heat, or difference of
sentiments. They have a notion, that when people are met
together, a short silence does much improve conversation; this
I found to be true; for, during those little intermissions of talk,
new ideas would arise in their minds, which very much
enlivened the discourse. Their subjects are generally on
friendship and benevolence, on order and economy; sometimes.
upon the visible operations of nature, or ancient traditions;
upon the bounds and limits of virtue; upon the unerring rules
of reason, or upon some determination to be taken at the next
great assembly and often upon the various excellencies of
poetry. I may add, without vanity, that my presence often
gave them sufficient matter for discourse, because it afforded
my master an occasion of letting his friends into the history
of me and my country, upon which they were all pleased to
descant, in a manner not very advantageous to human kind:
and for that reason I shall not repeat what they said: only I
may be allowed to observe, that his honour, to my great
admiration, appeared to understand the nature of Yahoos much
better than myself. He went through all our vices and follies,
and discovered many, which I had never mentioned to him,
by only supposing what qualities a Yahoo of their country,
with a small proportion of reason, might be capable of exert-
ing; and concluded, with too much probability, "how vile as
well as miserable such a creature must be."
I freely confess, that all the little knowledge I have of any
value, was acquired by the lectures I received from my master,
18
410
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
and from hearing the discourses of him and his friends; to which
I should be prouder to listen, than to dictate to the greatest and
wisest assembly in Europe. I admired the strength, comeli-
ness, and speed of the inhabitants; and such a constellation of
virtues, in such amiable persons, produced in me the highest
veneration. At first, indeed, I did not feel that natural awe,
which the Yahoos and all other animals bear towards them;
but it grew upon me by degrees, much sooner than I imagined,
and was mingled with a respectful love and gratitude, that
they would condescend to distinguish me from the rest of my
species.
When I thought of my family, my friends, my countrymen,
or the human race in general, I considered them, as they really
were, Yahoos in shape and disposition, perhaps a little more
civilized, and qualified with the gift of speech; but making no
other use of reason, than to improve and multiply those vices
whereof their brethern in this country had only the share that
nature allotted them. When I happened to behold the reflec-
tion of my own form in a lake or fountain, I turned away my face
in horror and detestation of myself; and could better endure
the sight of a common Yahoo, than of my own person. By
conversing with the Houyhnhnms, and looking upon them
with delight, I fell to imitate their gait and gesture, which is
now grown into a habit; and my friends often tell me, in a
blunt way, "that I trot like a horse;" which, however, I take
for a great compliment: neither shall I disown, that in speak-
ing I am apt to fall into the voice and manners of the Houy-
hnhnms, and hear myself ridiculed on that account, without
the least mortification.
In the midst of all the happiness, and when I looked upon
myself to be fully settled for life, my master sent for me one
morning a little earlier than his usual hour. I observed by
his countenance that he was in some perplexity, and at a loss
how to begin what he had to speak. After a short silence,
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS.
411
he told me
"he did not know how I would take what he was
going to say that in the last general assembly, when the
affair of the Yahoos was entered upon, the representatives had
taken offence at his keeping a Yahoo (meaning myself) in his
family, more like a Houyhnhnm than a brute animal; that he
was known frequently to converse with me, as if he could
receive some advantage or pleasure in my company; that such
a practice was not agreeable to reason or nature, or a thing
ever heard of before among them; the assembly did therefore
exhort him either to employ me like the rest of my species, or
command me to swim back to the place whence I came : that
the first of these expedients was utterly rejected by all the
Houyhnhnms who had ever seen me at his house or their own;
for they alleged, that because I had some rudiments of reason,
added to the natural gravity of those animals, it was to be
feared I might be able to seduce them into the woody and
mountainous parts of the country, and bring them in troops.
by night to destroy the Houyhnhnms' cattle, as being naturally
of the ravenous kind, and averse from labour."
My master added, "that he was daily pressed by the Houy-
hnhnms of the neighbourhood, to have the assembly's exhor-
tation executed, which he could not put off much longer. He
doubted it would be impossible for me to swim to another
country; and therefore wished I would contrive some sort of
vehicle resembling those I had described to him, that might
carry me on the sea; in which work I should have the assis-
tance of his own servants, as well as those of his neighbours."
He concluded, "that for his own part, he could have been
content to keep me in his service as long as I lived; because
he found I had cured myself of some bad habits and disposi-
tions, by endeavouring, as far as my inferior nature was cap-
able, to imitate the Houyhnhnms."
I should here observe to the reader, that a decree of the
general assembly in this country, is expressed by the word
412
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
hnhloayn, which signifies an exhortation, as near as I can ren-
der it: for they have no conception how a rational creature can
be compelled, but only advised, or exhorted; because no person
can disobey reason, without giving up his claim to be a
rational creature.
:
I was struck with the utmost grief and despair at my mas-
ter's discourse; and being unable to support the agonies I was
under, I fell into a swoon at his feet. When I came to myself,
he told me,
“that he concluded I had been dead;" for these
people are subject to no such imbecilities of nature. I
answered, in a faint voice, “that death would have been too
great a happiness: that although I could not blame the assem-
bly's exhortation, or the urgency of his friends; yet, in my
weak and corrupt judgment, I thought it might consist with
reason to have been less rigorous: that I could not swim a
league, and probably the nearest land to theirs might be dis
tant above a hundred that many materials, necessary for
making a small vessel to carry me off, were wholly wanting
in this country; which, however, I would attempt, in obedience
and gratitude to his honour, although I concluded the thing
to be impossible, and therefore looked on myself as already
devoted to destruction: that the certain prospect of an unna-
tural death was the least of my evils; for, supposing I should
escape with life by some strange adventure, how could I think
with temper of passing my days among Yahoos, and relaps-
ing into my old corruptions, for want of examples to lead and
keep me within the paths of virtue? that I knew too well upon
what solid reasons all the determinations of the wise Houy-
hnhnms were founded, not to be shaken by arguments of mine,
a miserable Yahoo; and therefore, after presenting him with
my humble thanks for the offer of his servant's assistance in
making a vessel, and desiring a reasonable time for so difficult
a work, I told him I would endeavour to preserve a wretched
tag; and if ever I returned to England, was not without
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHNMS. 413
hopes of being useful to my own species, by celebrating the
praises of the renowned Houyhnhnms, and proposing their
virtues to the imitation of mankind."
My master, in a few words, made me a very gracious reply;
allowed me the space of two months to finish my boat: and
ordered the sorrel nag, myfell ow-servant (for so at this dis-
tance I may presume to call him), to follow my instruction;
because I told my master, "that his help would be sufficient,
and I knew he had a tenderness for me."
In his company, my first business was to go to that part
of the coast where my rebellious crew had ordered me to be
set on shore. I got upon a height, and looking on every side
into the sea, fancied I saw a small island towards the north-
east: I took out my pocket glass, and could then clearly dis-
tinguish it about five leagues off, as I computed: but it appeared
to the sorrel nag to be only a blue cloud: for as he had no
conception of any country beside his own, so he could not be
as expert in distinguishing remote objects at sea, as we who
so much converse* in that element.
After I had discovered this island, I considered no farther;
but resolved it should, if possible, be the first place of my
banishment, leaving the consequence to fortune.
I returned home, and consulting with the sorrel nag, we
went into a copse at some distance, where I with my knife,
and he with a sharp flint, fastened very artificially after their
manner to a wooden handle cut down several oak wattles,
about the thickness of a walking-staff, and some larger pieces.
But I shall not trouble the reader with a particular description
of my own mechanics; let it suffice to say, that in six weeks'
time, with the help of the sorrel nag, who performed the parts
that required most labour, I finished a sort of Indian canoe,
* This is an uncommon use of the word "converse:" Instead of the verb, the
adjective is always employed in this sense; as thus" as we who are so conversant
in that element."-S.
414
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
+
cut much larger, covering it with the skins of Yahoos, wel.
stitched together with hempen threads of my own making.
My sail was likewise composed of the skins of the same
animal; but I made use of the youngest I could get, the older
being too tough and thick: and I likewise provided myself
with four paddles. I laid in a stock of boiled flesh, of rabbits
and fowls; and took with me two vessels, one filled with milk
and the other with water.
I tried my canoe in a large pond, near my master's house,
and then corrected in it what was amiss; stopping all the
chinks with Yahoos' tallow, till I found it staunch, and able
to bear me and my freight; and, when it was as complete as
I could possibly make it, I had it drawn on a carriage very
gently by the Yahoos to the sea-side, under the conduct of
the sorrel nag and another servant.
When all was ready, and the day came for my departure, I
took leave of my master and lady and the whole family, my
eyes flowing with tears, and my heart quite sunk with grief
But his honour, out of curiosity, and perhaps (if I may speak
it without vanity) partly out of kindness, was determined to
see me in my canoe; and got several of his neighbouring
friends to accompany him. I was forced to wait above an
hour for the tide, and then observing the wind very fortunate-
ly bearing towards the island to which I intended to steer my
course, I took a second leave of my master: but as I was going
to prostrate myself to kiss his hoof, he did me the honour to
raise it gently to my mouth. I am not ignorant how much
I have been censured for mentioning this last particular.
Detractors are pleased to think it improbable, that so illustrious
a person should descend to give so great a mark of distinction
to a creature so inferior as I. Neither have I forgotten how
apt some travellers are to boast of extraordinary favours they
have received. But, if these censurers were better acquainted
A VOYAGE TO THE HOJYHNHNMS.
415
with the noble and courteous disposition of the Houyhnhnms,
they would soon change their opinion.
I paid my respects to the rest of the Houyhnhnms in his
honour's company; then getting into my canoe, I pushed off
from shore.
416
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS
CHAPTER XI.
he Author's dangero as voyage-He arrives at New Holland, hoping to settle there
-Is wounded with an arrow by one of the natives-Is seized and carried by force
Into a Portuguese ship-The great civilities of the captain-The Author arrives
at England.
I BEGAN this desperate voyage on February 15, 1714–15, at
nine o'clock in the morning. The wind was very favourable ;
however, I made use at first only of my paddles: but consid-
ering I should soon be weary, and that the wind might chop
about, I ventured to set up my little sail; and thus, with the
help of the tide, I went at the rate of a league and a half an
hour, as near as I could guess. My master and his friends
continued on the shore till I was almost out of sight; and I
often heard the sorrel nag (who always loved me) crying out,
Hnuy illa nyha majah Yahoo," "take care of thyself, gen-
tle Yahoo."
66
My design was, if possible, to discover some small island
uninhabited, yet sufficient by my labour to furnish me with
the necessaries of life, which I would have thought a greater
happiness, than to be first minister in the politest court of
Europe; so horrible was the idea I conceived of returning to
live in the society, and under the government of Yahoos
For in such a solitude as I desired, I could at least enjoy my
own thoughts, and reflect with delight on the virtues of those
inimitable Houyhnhnms, without an opportunity of degenera
ting into the vices and corruptions of my own species.
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHN HNM8. 417
The reader may remember what I related, when my crew
conspired against me, and confined me to my cabin; how I
continued there several weeks without knowing what course we
took; and when I was put ashore in the long-boat, how the
sailors told me with oaths, whether true or false, "that they
knew not in what part of the world we were." However, I
did then believe us to be about 10 degrees southward of the
Cape of Good Hope, or about 45 degrees southern latitude, as
I gathered from some general words I overheard among them,
being as I supposed to the south-east in their intended voyage
to Madagascar. And although this were little better than
conjecture, yet I resolved to steer my course eastward, hoping
to reach the south-west coast of New Holland, and perhaps
some such island as I desired lying westward of it. The wind
was full west, and by six in the evening I computed I had
gone eastward at least eighteen leagues: when I spied a small
island about half a league off, which I soon reached. It was
nothing but a rock, with one creek naturally arched by the
force of tempests. Here I put in my canoe, and climbing a
part of the rock, I could plainly discover land to the east, ex-
tending from south to north. I lay all night in my canoe;
and repeating my voyage early in the morning, I arrived in
seven hours to the south-east point of New Holland. This
confirmed me in the opinion I have long entertained, that
the maps and charts place this country at least three degrees
more to the east than it really is; which thought I commu-
nicated many years ago to my worthy friend, Mr. Herman
Moll, and gave him my reasons for it, although he has rather
chosen to follow other authors.
I saw no inhabitants in the place where I landed, and being
unarmed I was afraid of venturing far into the country. I
found some shell-fish on the shore, and ate them raw,
not daring to kindle a fire, for fear of being discovered by the
natives. I continued three days feeding on oysters and
18*
418
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
limpets, to save my own provision; and I fortunately found
brook of excellent water, which gave me great relief.
On the fourth day, venturing out early a little too far, I
saw twenty or thirty natives upon a height not above five
hundred yards from me. They were stark naked, men,
women, and children, round a fire, as I could discover by the
smoke. One of them spied me, and gave notice to the rest;
five of them advanced towards me, leaving the women and
children at the fire. I made what haste I could to the shore,
and getting into my canoe, shoved off; the savages observing
me retreat, ran after me; and before I could get far enough
into the sea, discharged an arrow, which wounded me deeply
on the inside of my left knee: I shall carry the mark to my
grave. I apprehended the arrow might be poisoned, and
paddling out of the reach of their darts (being a calm day), I
made a shift to suck the wound, and dress it as well as I
could.
I was at a loss what to do, for I durst not return to the
same landing-place, but stood to the north, and was forced to
paddle; for the wind though very gentle, was against me,
blowing north-west. As I was looking about for a secure
landing-place, I saw a sail to the north north-east, which ap-
pearing every minute more visible, I was in some doubt
whether I should wait for them or not; but at last my detes-
tation of the Yahoo race prevailed: and turning my canoe, I
sailed and paddled towards the south, and got into the same
creek whence I set out in the morning, choosing rather to
trust myself among these barbarians, than live with European
Yahoos. I drew up my canoe as close as I could to the shore,
and hid myself behind a stone by the little brook, which as I
have already said was excellent water.
The ship came within half a league of this creek, and sent
her longboat with vessels to take in fresh water (for the place
it seems was very well known); but I did not observe it, till
:
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHN HNMS. 419
the boat was almost on shore; and it was too late to seek
another hiding place. The seamen at their landing observed
my canoe, and rummaging it all over, easily conjectured that
the owner could not be far off. Four of them, well armed,
searched every cranny and lurking-hole, till at last they found
me flat on my face behind the stone. They gazed awhile in
admiration at my strange, uncouth dress: my coat made of
skins, my wooden-soled shoes, and my furred stockings; whence,
however, they concluded, I was not a native of the place,
who all go naked. One of the seamen, in Portuguese, bid
me rise, and asked me who I was. I understood that language
very well, and getting upon my feet, said, "I was a poor
Yahoo banished from the Houyhnhnms, and desired they
would please to let me depart." They admired to hear me
answer them in their own tongue, and saw by my complexion
I must be a European; but were at a loss to know what I
meant by Yahoo and Houyhnhnms; and at the same time
fell a laughing at my strange tone in speaking, which resemn-
bled the neighing of a horse. I trembled all the while betwixt
fear and hatred. I again desired leave to depart, and was
gently moving to my canoe: but they laid hold of me, desiring
to know, "what country I was of? whence I came ?" with
many other questions. I told them "I was born in England,
whence I came about five years, ago, and then their country
and ours were at peace. I therefore hoped they would not
treat me as an enemy, since I meant them no harm; but was
a poor Yahoo seeking some desolate place where to pass the
remainder of his unfortunate life."
When they began to talk, I thought I never heard or saw
anything more unnatural; for it appeared to me as monstrous
as if a dog or a cow should speak in England, or a Yahoo
in Houyhnhnmland. The honest Portuguese were equally
amazed at my strange dress, and the old manner of delivering
my words which however they understood very well. They
420
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
1
spoke to me with great humanity, and said, "they were sure
the captain would carry me gratis to Lisbon, whence I might
return to my own country; that two of the seamen would go
back to the ship, inform the captain of what they had seen,
and receive his orders; in the mean time, unless I would give
my solemn oath not to fly, they would secure me by force."
I thought it best to comply with their proposal. They were
very curious to know my story, I gave them very little satis-
faction, and they all conjectured that my misfortunes had
impaired my reason. In two hours the boat, which went
laden with vessels of water, returned, with the captain's com-
mand to fetch me ou board. I fell on my knees to preserve
my liberty; but all was in vain; and the men, having tied me
with cords, heaved me into the boat, whence I was taken to
the ship, and thence into the captain's cabin.
His name was Pedro de Mendez; he was a very courteous
and generous person. He entreated me to give some account
of myself, and desired to know what I would eat or drink·
said, "I should be used as well as himself;" and spoke so
many obliging things, that I wondered to find such civilities
from a Yahoo. However I remained silent and sullen; I was
ready to faint at the very smell of him and his men. At last
I desired something to eat out of my own canoe; but he
ordered me a chicken, and some excellent wine, and then
directed that I should be put to bed in a very clean cabin. I
would not undress myself, but lay on the bed-clothes, and in
half an hour stole out, when I thought the crew was at dinner,
and getting to the side of the ship, was going to leap into
the sea, and swim for my life, rather than continue among
Yahoos. But one of the seamen prevented me, and having
informed the captain, I was chained to my cabin.
After dinner, Don Pedro came to me, desired to know my
reason for so desperate an attempt; assured me, "he only
meant to do me all the service he was able;" and spoke se
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHN HNMS. 421
very movingly, that at last I descended to treat him like an
animal which had some little portion of reason.
I gave him
a very short relation of my voyage; of the conspiracy against
ine by my own men: of the country where they set me on shore,
and of my five years' residence there; all which he looked
upon as if it were a dream or a vision; whereat I took great
offence; for I had quite forgot the faculty of lying, so peculiar
to Yahoos, in all countries where they preside, and, conse-
quently, the disposition of suspecting truth in others of their
own species. I asked him, "whether it were the custom in
his country to say the thing which was not ?" I assured him,
“I had almost forgot what he meant by falsehood, and if I
had lived a thousand years in Houyhnhnmland, I should
never have heard a lie from the meanest servant; that I was
altogether indifferent whether he believed me or not; but,
however, in return for his favours I would give so much allow-
ance to the corruption of his nature, as to answer any objec-
tion he might please to make, and then he might easily dis-
cover the truth."
The captain, a wise man, after many endeavours to catch
me tripping in some part of my story, at last began to have a
a better opinion of my veracity. But he added, "that since
I professed so inviolable an attachment to truth, I must give
him my word and honour to bear him company in this voy-
age, without attempting anything against my life: or else he
would continue me a prisoner till we arrived at Lisbon." I
gave him the promise lo required; but at the same time pro-
tested," that I would suffer the greatest hardships, rather
than return to live among Yahoos.”
Our voyage passed without any considerable accident. In
gratitude to the captain, I sometimes sat with him, at his ear-
nest request, and strove to conceal my antipathy against human
kind, although it often broke out; which he suffered to pass
with u. observation. But the greatest part of the day I con-
422
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
fined myself to my cabin, to avoid seeing any of the crew.
The captain had often entreated me to strip myself of my
savage dress, and offered to lend me the best suit of clothes he
had. This I would not be prevailed on to accept, abhorring
to cover myself with any thing that had been on the back of
a Yahoo. I only desired he would lend me two clean shirts,
which, having been washed since he wore them, I believed
would not so much defile me. These I change every second
day, and washed them myself.
We arrived at Lisbon, Nov. 5, 1715. At our landing, the
captain forced me to cover myself with his cloak, to prevent
the rabble from crowding about me. I was conveyed to his own
house; and at my earnest request he led me up to the
highest room backward. I conjured him "to conceal from
all persons what I had told him of the Houyhnhnms; because
the least hint of such a story would not only draw numbers
of people to see me, but probably put me in danger of being
imprisoned, or burnt by the Inquisition." The captain per-
suaded me to accept a suit of clothes newly made; but I would
not suffer the tailor to take my measure; however, Don Pedro
being almost of my size, they fitted me well enough. He
accoutred me with other necessaries, all new, which I aired
for twenty-four hours before I would use them.
The captain had no wife, nor above three servants, none of
which were suffered to attend at meals; and his whole deport
ment was so obliging, added to very good human understanding
that I really began to tolerate his company. He gained sc
far upon me, that I ventured to look out of the back window
By degrees I was brought into another room whence I peeped
into the street, but drew my head back in a fright. In a week's
time he seduced me down to the door. I found my terror gradu-
ally lessened, but my hatred and contempt seemed to increase.
I was at last bold enough to walk the street in his company, but
kept my nose well stopped with rue, or sometimes with tobacco.
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUY HN HNMS. 423
In ten days, Don Pedro, to whom I had given some account
of
my domestic affairs, put it upon me, as a matter of honour
and conscience, "that I ought to return to my native country,
and live at home with my wife and children." He told me,
"there was an English ship in the port just ready to sail, and
he would furnish me with all things necessary." It would be
tedious to repeat his argument, and my contradictions. He
said, "it was altogether impossible to find such a solitary island
as I desired to live in ; but I might command in my own house,
and pass my time in a manner as recluse as I pleased."
I complied at last, finding I could not do better. I left Lis-
bon the 24th day of November, in an English merchantman;
but who was the master I never inquired. Don Pedro accom-
panied me to the ship and lent me twenty pounds. He took
kind leave of me, and embraced me at parting, which I bore
as well I could. During this last voyage I had no commerce
with the master or any of his men ; but pretending I was sick,
kept close in my cabin. On the fifth of December, 1715, we
cast anchor in the Downs, about nine in the morning, and at
three in the afternoon I got safe to my house at Red-
riff.
My wife and family received me with great surprise and joy,
because they concluded me certainly dead; but I must freely
confess the sight of them filled me only with hatred, disgust, and
contempt; and the more, by reflecting on the near alliance I
had to them. For although, since my unfortunate exile from
the Houyhnhnms' country, I had compelled myself to tolerate
the sight of Yahoos, and to converse with Don Pedro de Mendez,
yet my memory and imagination were perpetually filled with
the virtues and ideas of those exalted Houyhnhnms. And
when I began to consider that, by copulating with one of the
Yahoo species I had become a parent of more, it struck me
with the utmost shame, confusion, and horror.
As soon as I entered the house, my wife took me in her
424
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
arms, and kissed me; at which, having not been used to the
touch of that odious animal for so many years, I fell into a
swoon for almost an hour. At the time I am writing, it is five
years since my last return to England; during the first year,
I could not endure my wife or children in my presence; the
very smell of them was intolerable; much less could I suffer
them to eat in the same room. To this hour they dare not
presume to touch my bread, or drink out of the same cup,
neither was I ever able to let one of them take me by the
hand. The first money I laid out was to buy two young stone-
horses, which I keep in a good stable; and next to them, the
groom is my greatest favourite; for I feel my spirits revived
by the smell he contracts in the stable. My horses understand
me tolerably well; I converse with them at least four hours
every day. They are strangers to bridle or saddle; they live in
great amity with me, and friendship to each other.
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYAN HNMS. 425
CHAPTER XII.
The Author's veracity-His design in publishing this work-His censure of those
travellers who swerve from the truth-The Author clears hímself from any sinister
ends in writing-An objection answered-The method of planting colonies-His
native country commended-The right of the crown to those countries described by
the Author, is justified-The difficulty of conquering them-The Author takes hist
last leave of the reader; proposes his manner of living for the future; gives gcod
advice, and concludes.
THUS, gentle reader, I have given thee a faithful history of my
travels for sixteen years and above seven months: wherein I
have not been so studious of ornament as of truth. I could,
perhaps, like others, have astonished thee with strange impro-
bable tales; but I rather choose to relate plain matter of fact,
in the simplest manner and style; because my principal design
was to inform, and not to amuse thee.
It is easy for us who travel into remote countries, which are
seldom visited by Englishmen or other Europeans, to form des-
criptions of wonderful animals both at sea and land. Whereas
a traveller's chief aim should be to make men wiser and bet-
ter, and improve their minds by the bad, as well as good
example, of what they deliver concerning foreign places.
I could heartily wish a law was enacted, that every traveller,
before he were permitted to publish his voyages, should be
obliged to make oath before the Lord High Chancellor, that
all he intended to print was absolutely true to the best of his
knowledge; for then the world would no longer be deceived,
as it usually is while some writers, to make their works pass
426
GULLIVER'S TRAVEL S.
the better upon the public, impose the grossest falsities on the
unwary reader. I have perused several books of travels with
great delight in my younger days; but having since gone over
most parts of the globe, and been able to contradict many
fabulous accounts from my own observation, it has given me a
great disgust against this part of reading, and some indignation
to see the credulity of mankind so impudently abused. There-
fore, since my acquaintance were pleased to think my poor
endeavours might not be unacceptable to my country, I imposed
on myself as a maxim never to be swerved from, that I would
strictly adhere to truth; neither indeed can I be ever under
the least temptation to vary from it, while I retain in my
mind the lectures and example of my noble master and the
other illustrious Houyhnhnms of whom I had so long the hon-
our to be an humble hearer.
-Nec si miserum Fortuna Sinonem
Finixit, vanum etiam, mendacemque improba finget.
I know very well, how little reputation is to be got by writ-
ings, which require neither genius nor learning, nor indeed
any other talent except a good memory, or an exact journal.
I know likewise, that writers of travels, like dictionary-makers,
are sunk into oblivion by the weight and bulk of those who
come last, and therefore lie uppermost.
And it is highly pro-
bable, that such travellers, who shall hereafter visit the coun-
tries described in this work of mine, may, by detecting my
errors (if there be any), and adding many new discoveries of
their own, justle me out of vogue, and stand in my place, mak-
ing the world forget that ever I was an author. This indeed
would be too great a mortification, if I wrote for fame : but as my
sole intention was the public good, I cannot be altogether dis-
appointed. For who can read of the virtues I have mentione 1
in the glorious Houyhnhnms, without being ashamed of his own
vices, when he considers himself as the reasoning, goveru.ng
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYHNHN MS. 427
animal of his country? I shall say nothing of those remote
nations where Yahoos preside; among which the least corrup-
ted are the Brobdingnagians; whose wise maxims in inorality
and government it would be our happiness to observe. But
I forbear descanting farther, and rather leave the judicious
reader to his own remarks and application.
I am not a little pleased, that this work of mine can pos-
sibly meet with no censurers; for what objections can be made
against a writer, who relates only plain facts, that happened
in such distant countries, where we have not the least interest,
with respect either to trade or negotiations? I have carefully
avoided every fault, with which common writers of travels are
often too justly charged. Besides, I meddle not the least with
any party, but write without passion, prejudice, or ill-will
against any man, or number of men whatsoever. I write for
the noblest end, to inform and instruct mankind; over whom
I may, without breach of modesty, pretend to some superiority,
from the advantages I received by conversing so long among
the most accomplished Houyhnhnms. I write without any
view to profit or praise. I never suffer a word to pass that
may look ke reflection, or possibly give the least offence, even
to those 10 are most ready to take it. So that I hope I may
with justi pronounce myself an author perfectly blameless;
against w .om the tribes of Answerers, Considerers, Observers,
Reflector, Detectors, Remarkers, will never be able to find
matter for exercising their talents.
I co ess, it was whispered to me, that I was bound in duty,
as a si ject of England, to have given in a memorial to a
secret .ry of state at my first coming over; because whatever
land are discovered by a subject, belong to the crown.
Fat I doubt, whether our conquests, in the countries I treat
of, would be as easy as those of Ferdinando Cortez over the
nal ed Americans. The Lilliputians, I think, are hardly
vorth the charge of a fleet and army to reduce them; and I
428
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
question whether it might be prudent or safe to attempt the
Brobdingnagians; or whether an English army would be much
at their ease, with the Flying Island over their heads. The
Houyhnhnms indeed appeared not to be so well prepared for
war, a science to which they are perfect strangers, and espe
cially against missive weapons. However, supposing myself tc
be a minister of state, I could never give my advice for invad-
ing them. Their prudence, unanimity, unacquaintedness with
fear, and their love of their country, would amply supply all
defects in the military art. Imagine twenty thousand of them
breaking into the midst of a European army, confounding
the ranks, overturning the carriages, battering the warriors'
faces into mummy by terrible yerks from their hinder hoofs,
for they would deserve the character given to Augustus, Recal-
citrat undique tutus. But instead of proposals for conquering
that magnanimous nation, I rather wish they were in a cap-
acity, or disposition, to send a sufficient number of their inhab-
itants for civilizing Europe, by teaching us the first principles.
of honour, justice, truth, temperance, public spirit, fortitude,
chastity, friendship, benevolence, and fidelity. The names of
all which virtues are still retained among us in most languages,
and are to be met with in modern, as well as ancient authors;
which I am able to assert from my own small reading.
But I had another reason, which made me less forward to
enlarge his majesty's dominions by my discoveries. To say
the truth, I had conceived a few scruples with relation to the
distributive justice of princes upon those occasions. For
instance, a crew of pirates are driven by a storm they know
not whither; at last a boy discovers land from the topmast;
they go on shore to rob and plunder; they see a harmless peo-
ple; are entertained with kindness; they give the country a
new name; they take formal possession of it for their king;
they set up a rotten plank, or a stone, for a memorial; they
murder two or three dozen of the natives, bring away a couple
A VOYAGE TO THE HOUYANHN MS. 429.
nore, by force, for a sample; return home and get their par-
ion. Here commences a new dominion acquired with a title
y divine right. Ships are sent with the first opportunity;
he natives driven out or destroyed; their princes tortured to
liscover their gold; a free license given to all acts of inhu-
nanity and lust, the earth reeking with the blood of its inhab-
Itants; and this execrable crew of butchers, employed in so
pious an expedition, is a modern colony, sent to convert and
civilize an idolatrous and barbarous people!
But this description, I confess, does by no means affect the
British nation, who may be an example to the whole world
for their wisdom, care, and justice in planting colonies: their
liberal endowments for the advancement of religion and learn-
ing; their choice of devout and able pastors to propagate
Christianity; their caution in stocking their provinces with
people of sober lives and conversations from this the mother
kingdom; their strict regard to the distribution of justice, in
supplying the civil adminstration through all their colonies.
with officers of the greatest abilities, utter strangers to co
ruption; and, to crown all, by sending the most vigilant and
virtuous governors, who have no other views than the happi-
ness of the people over whom they preside, and the honour
of the king their master.
But as those countries, which I have described, do not ap-
Dear to have any desire of being conquered and enslaved,
murdered or driven out, by colonies; nor abound either in
gold, silver, sugar, or tobacco, I did humbly conceive, they
were by no means proper objects of our zeal, our valour, or our
interest. However, if those whom it more concerns, think fi:
to be of another opinion, I am ready to depose, when I shall
be lawfully called, that no European did ever visit those coun-
tries before me. I mean if the inhabitants ought to be be
lieved, unless a dispute may arise concerning the two Yahoos,
3
430
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
said to have been seen many years ago upon a mountain in
Houyhnhnmland.
But, as to the formality of taking possession in my sover-
eign's name, it never once came into my thoughts; and if it
had, yet, as my affairs then stood, I should perhaps in point of
prudence and self-preservation, have put it off to a better op
portunity.
Having thus answered the only objection that can ever be
raised against me as a traveller, I here take a final leave of all
my courteous readers, and return to enjoy my own specula-
tions in my little garden at Redriff; to apply these excellent
lessons of virtue, which I learned among the Houyhnhnms ;
to instruct the Yahoos of my own family, as far as I shail
find them docible animals; to behold my figure often in a
glass, and thus, if possible, habituate myself by time to toler-
ate the sight of a buman creature; to lament the brutality of
Houyhnhnms in my own country, but always treat their per-
sons with respect, for the sake of my noble master, his family,
his friends, and the whole Houyhuhnm race, whom these of
ours have the honour to resemble in all their lineaments,
however their intellectuals came to degenerate.
I began last week to permit my wife to sit at dinner with
me, at the farthest end of a long table; and to answer (but
with the utmost brevity) the few questions I asked her. Yet,
the smell of a Yahoo continuing very offensive, I always kept
my nose well stopped with rue, lavender, or tobacco ieares.
And, although it be hard for a man late in life to remove old
habits, I am not altogether out of hopes, in some time, to
suffer a neighbour Yahoo in my company, without the appre
hensions I am yet under of his teeth or his claws.
My reconcilement to the Yahoo kind in general might not
be so difficult, if they would be content with those vices and
follies only, which nature has entitled them to. I am not in
the least provoked at the sight of a lawyer, a pickpocket, a
A VOYAGE TO TH HOUYHN HNMS 431
colonel, a fool, a lord, a gamester, a politician, a whoremonger,
a physician, an evidence, a suborner, an attorney, a traitor, or
the like; this is all according to the due course of things:
but when I behold a lump of deformity and diseases, both in
body and mind, smitten with pride, it immediately breaks all
the measures of my patience; neither shall I be ever able to
comprehend how such an animal, and such a vice, could
tally together. The wise and virtuous Houyhnhnms, who
abound in all the excellencies that can adorn a rational crea-
ture, have no name for this vice in their language; which
has no terms to express any thing that is evil, except those
whereby they describe the detestable qualities of their Yahoos ;
among which they were not able to distinguish this of pride,
for want of thoroughly understanding human nature, as it
shews itself in other countries where that animal presides.
But I, who had more experience, could plainly observe some
rudiments of it among the wild Yahoos.
But the Houyhnhnms, who live under the government of
reason, are no more proud of the good qualities they possess,
than I should be for not wanting a leg or an arm; which no
man in his wits would boast of, although he must be miser-
able without them. I dwell the longer upon this subject, from
the desire I have to make the society of an English Yahoo
by any means not insupportable; and therefore I here entreat
those who have any tincture of this absurd vice, that they will
not presume to come in my sight.
THE END.

SANTANE