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Τ Η Ε
CENSORIAD:
A
PO E M.
Written Originally by Martin GULLIVER:
Illuſtrated with fundry Curious Annotations of divers
Learned Commentators, Scholiaſts and Criticks.
-Felicia sempyras, que te
Moribus opponunt
Juv.
.
Thou Vermin wretched,
Aseer in meazeld Pork was hatched!
Thou Tail of Worſhip, that doft grow
On Rump of Juſtice, as of Cow!
HUDI BRAS.
LONDON;
Re-printed from the DUBLIN THIRD
EDITION, for WEAVER BICKERTON, in
Devereux-Court, near the Middle-Temple.
M.DCC.xxx.
(Price Six-Pence.)
THE
Commentator's PROEME
Unto the Courteous Reader.
T
HIS delectable Piece of Poeſie having
mainly and marvelouſly ſuffer'd, through
the Precipitation of ſundry Tranſcribers and Co-
pyiſts heretofore; we deemed it meet (and in
ſome ſort it behoveth us) to reſtore it to its pri-
ſtine Garb: partly by comparing together the
ſeveral Copies, and adhereing unto ſuch thereof
as liked us moft ; partly on the Verity of others;
and finally on our own Experience, manyfold Ob-
ſervations, and profound Penetration.
79
And in good footh to compyle this Commen-
tarie, much Labour and Oyle hath been expen-
ded, albeit great Pleafance hath it miniftred un-
to us, inaſmuch as it hath enabled us to bring in-
to Light this Piece in its primal Purity, and eke
to teſtifie unto the Publique our unwearied In-
deavour for the Entertainment thereof, unto the
Preponderancy of whoſe Judgment, we ſubject
- the Fruits of our Toyle and Erudition :
Age, benigne Leftor, bis noftris conatibus fave.
Vale & fruere.
Regent h. L. rattaid
1-10-192-4
(3)
THE
CENSORI A D.
Skaip
Hou'd the old Cenſor of Imperial Rome
Raiſe his tremendous Preſence from the Tomb,
How would he glow with juſt indignant Rage,
How wou'd he pity and deteſt that Age,
Where Ideots dictate, and Buffoons turn ſage!
O thou ! to whom theſe Verſes I direct,
Whom Folly can't ſecure, nor Wit protect ;
ANNOTATIONS.
Cenforiad. So Iliad, Æneid, Dunciad, &c. but let
the Reader be fatisfy'd, that it fignifies no more than
a Song on the Cenfor, which Word naturally produces
a Note. Certain it is, that the generality of Man-
kind are ever fond of filling thoſe Offices, for which
Nature hath render'd them moſt unfit.
Optat Ephippia bos piger, optat arare caballus.
Hor.
Our Hero being elected to the Cenſorſhip, re-
mindeth me of ſome Germans, who allowed an Aſs to
be beſt qualified to diſtinguiſh the Harmony of Sounds,
becaufe it had the longeſt Ears. Whence the Epide-
mic Fondneſs of our Kingdom for Mufic may ratio-
nally be accounted for.-Nam auriculas Afini quis
non habet ?
Heinfius.
Ver.5-Where Ideots. Alludes to this of Juvenal,
Quoties aliquid de vioribus audent,
Qui Curios fimulant, & Bacchanalia vivunt.
Too
A 2
The CENSORIAD.
Too bulky grown to paſs unnotic'd by,
And yet too dull to rally and reply:
How wou'd that Cato weep, nay, ſmile to view 10
Dictators ape'd by Animals like You?
Who dare confirm new Offices and Laws,
At once the Scourge and Scandal of thy Cauſe;
ANNOTATIONS.
Ver.8. Too bulky Similiter Horatius :
Epicuri de grege Porcum.
Ver.1o. How would that Cato weep. Some Cria
ticks contend, this and the following Lines ſhould
be read in hunc modum
i
How wou'd that Cato weep, nay ſmile to fec,
Dictators ape'd by Animals like Thee?
Either I think may ſerve ; but here give me leave to
animadvert on the Ignorance of a certain Scholiaſt,
who affirmeth, that Weep and Smile, applied fo cloſe-
ly to the ſame Perſon, imply a Contradiction in
Terms: . but well we may imagine this Critick ne-
ver knew there was ſuch a Figure in Rhetorick as
Epanorthoſis; or that Weep might refer to the Abuſe
of the Office, and Smile to the Buffoonry of the Per-
fon, ignorant at the ſame time of that beautiful Ex.
preſſion in Homer.
--Δακρυοεν γελάσασα. .
She mingled with a Smile a tender Tear.
POPE.
Ver.12. Who dare confirm-The Reverend Hero
of our Poem, was not only the Inſtitutor of the Cen-
farſhip, but the firſt that, through a conſciouſneſs of
his own ſuperior Worth and Abilities, embrac'd the
honourable Office himſelf, and by his indefatigable
Induſtry, hath paved a Path, worthy to be trodden
by all ſucceeding Cenfars.
Hund talem fpe&tate virum, imitamini virtutem.
Dunceſc.
Who
Il...
The CENSORIAD.
5
15
Who teach unpoliſh'd Monſters to declaim,
And ſervile Hearts to tremble at a Theme;
Where Dread and Dulneſs all their Force unite,
Where you give Subjects, and where Freſhmen write :
Who leaſt offends himſelf, ſhould cenſure moſt,
Our Cenfor ſeems the Object of his Poft.
ANNOTATIONS
Ver.14. Who teach unpoliſh'd, &c. Similiter
fragmentum incerti Authoris :
ipfe rudis rudibus poſuit precepta noviftis.
Ver.16. Where Dread and Dulneſs, &c. tho' no
Animal is more ſluggiſh and deſpicable than an Aſs,
yet nothing is more frightful than its braying. Idem.
Ver.18. Who leaft, &c. Directly oppofite to this
Rule of our Author, is the general Practice of the
World. For the Ignorant and Vicious are evermore
the moſt impertinent and cenforious, and it is not
doubted by the Learned, that the Hero of this poem,
for being well accompliſh'd in both theſe Reſpects,
was, as Milton expreſſeth it, on a parallel Occa-
fion
namely Satan's Election to the Cenſorſhip of Tarta-
* advanc'd to that bad Eminence.
Heinſius.
Ver.19. Our Cenfor feems.
This may ſeem a piece of Satire on our Cenfor,
but I must beg pardon, if I argue from an oppoſite
Principle ; 'tis the higheſt Encomium he could receive,
ſince he ſacrifices his private to the publick Intereſt
of a Society: This, as I take it, is the true Spirit of
a Patriot, and a notable Imitation of Cato. I hall
ſtrengthen this my Opinion with one Argument.
Suppoſe my Neighbour were ſo extremely kind, as
to weed my Garden, ſhall I quarrel with him for his
good Office, becauſe at the ſame time his own is
over run with Nettles and Thiſtles ? Lipſius.
To
rus, Sc.
6
The CENSORIA D.
To thinking Minds this honeſtTask ſhou'd fall, 20
But G-prates too much, to think at all :
Officious, fawning, frivolous and loud,
Awkardly Vain, and impotently Proud ;
Partially ſtrict, and ſneakingly ſevere,
And fickle as the * Bcaſt which lives on Air. 25
He can't judge right, for Triflers never can,
'Tis not the Cauſe that's odious, but the Man.
Great is the Task, and worthy of a Mind,
Imbu'd with Virtue, and by Wit refin'd,
ANNOTATIONS.
Ver.21. But Gra-This Word hath occafion'd feve-
ral Conjectures; ſome imagine it to be Griffith, ſome
Griffin, and others peremptorily affirm it to be a
Name, too obvious to be mention'd.
Caſaubon.
Ibid. But Gr-The Word prates is very fignifi-
cantly apply'd by our Author: thus we ſay the Par-
Tot prates, the Magpye, &c. Similiter aanólépav, sopāvuss
apud Anacreontem.
Bentleius.
Ver. 27. 'Tis not the Cauſe, Sc. So that we may
ſay, his Office becomes him, as the Armour of A-
chilles would Therfites, and on whom (according to
Mr. Young)
It-Shines as Trophies on a Poft. Grevius.
* This Periphrafis fignifies a Camelion :
ER Animal, quod mille duit diverfa colores
Äurai Species.
Paccuvii frag.
Το
The CENSORIAD.
7
To point the Paths of Piety and Truth, 30
To curb the Sallies of licentious Youth:
At once endeavour to inſtruct and pleaſe,
Adviſe with Candour, and correet with Eaſe :
To ſuch a Cenſor, and in ſuch a Cauſe,
Whoſe good Example ratifies his Laws; 35
We give Attention, for Offence attone,
And make his Life the Standard of our own.
But when this Mimic Ape, with Aſpect four,
Exerts the Rigour of Tyrannic Pow'r;
We ſtart with generous Indignation back, 40
For who wou'd take the Potion of a Quack?
ANNOTATIONS
Ver. 32. At once endeavour, &c. So Horace,
Aut prodeje volunt, aut dele&tare
Aut ſimul & jucunda & idonea dicere vite.
Et paulo poft,
Omne tulit punctum,qui mifcuit utile dulci.
Ver.37. & 40. And make his Life, &c. Our Au-
thor here, in the Characters of a good and bad Cen-
for, concludes with two Epiphonemas, the one in the
Affirmative, and t'other in the Negative, wherein
he giveth us to underſtand, that Precept availeth bat
Jittle, if it be not inforc'd by practical Precedent;
and it muſt be confeſs’d, that unworthy Magiſtrates
are, at beft, but ſo many Burleſques on their Of-
fices : far be it from me to reflect on the juſt and
wiſe Body of Aldermen of this City; and farther
yet
be it from me to reflect on the right worſhipful Cen.
for of T. c.
Faction
☆ The CENSORIAD.
Faction he loves, tho' for its Tool deſign'd,
For this he'd ſtand the Teſt of all Mankind.
He hunts Reproach, lays Snares for Ridicule,
And takes uncommon Pains to play the fool ; 45
ANNOTATION S.
Ver.42. Faction he loves, &c. I would not have
the Reader infer from this, that he interferes with
the State Arcana. No, far be it from him to be fuf-
pected for a Politician; it only relates to his con-
duct in the Common-wealth of Learning, where the
Superficial and Turbulent are (cæteris paribus) as
dangerous as in the Body Politick, like Moles, which,
tho' blind, are ever undermining, and Snails which
touch nothing without leaving a Portion of their
Slime on't.
Spondanus.
Ver.43. For this he'd ſtand the Teft, tc. The
Word Teft hath, with good Reaſon, given occaſion
to various Conjectures ; ſome imagine it ought to
have been Peſt, and that the Line ſhou'd run thus,
In this he is the Peſt of all Mankind.
Alii vero fic. In this he is the Jeſt of all Mankind.
Reader, thou haſt variety, chuſe which thou wilt.
Scal.
Ver.44. And takes uncommon Pains, Sc. The
Courteous Reader may perhaps accuſe the Poet of
running here into the Improbable ; but the following
Story may, I think, fuffice, to vindicate him from
that Imputation.
The Cenfor, whilſt paying his Devoirs to a certain
Nobleman, accidentally drop'd his Handkerchief,
and ſtooping to take it up, in its ſtead, he innocently
ſeizes his Patron's Slipper, and crams it into his
Breaſt; and tho' immediately told of his Miſtake,
cou'd ſcarce be convinc'd, that the Slipper was not
really the Handkerchief.
Eaſy
The CENSORIAD.
9
1
Eaſy alike, if Zeal or Party's bad,
Or if he paſs for Popular or Mad.
Witneſs that glorious Night, when fluſh'd with
Wine,
His Folly ſpurr'd him to a brave Deſign;
When Miſers dreaming, brood o'er hoarded Pelf,
And ev'ry Hog lay ſnoring, but himſelf. 51
Back'd
ANNOTATIONS.
Ver.45. Eaſy alike, Sc. From this Inſenſibility of
Temper in our Hero, it appears, that he eſpouſes
the Stoic Sect of Philoſophers, to which the Romana
Cenſor was ſo inviolably attach'd, tho' others af-
firm, his Principles are Epicurean from his daily Ex-
periments of the Air-Pump, and his contending for
a Vacuum. And laſtly, others are for making out,
that he is a Carteſian, and that he ſolidly believes
that to be a Plenum which all others take for a Va-
Scal. jun.
Ver.48. When fluſh'd with Wine. As we have al-
ready, in other reſpects, compar'd him to Gato, the
Parallel will hold good in this.
Dicitur & priſci Catonis
Sape mero caluiſſe virtus.
Ver.49. His Folly, &c. This whole Epiſode is mat-
ter of fact, and no poetical Fiction, as hath erro-
neouſly been held by ſome. From the Tenour of
which, a very uſeful Moral may be drawn, viz. That
all Magiſtrates inveſted with any civil Power, ſhould
be well guarded when they are diſcharging the rigour
of their Office. The circumſpect Mr. Hawkins was
ſo well convinc'd of the Truth of this Aphoriſm,
that he never went upon any publick Enterprize
without his Train'd-band.
Ver.50. When Miſers dreaming, &c. The Antients
as well as Moderns, have been very copious in their
B
Deſcrip-
cuum.
.
10
The CENSORIA D.
And open
Back'd by one Vaffal, thro' the mazy Gloom
He boldly ſtagger'd to a Scholar's Room;
Thrice knock'd with pond'rous Feet and Mutton
Fiſts,
And thrice the bolted Door his Rage reſiſts: 55
At length he tries the Proweſs of his Pate,
flies the barricado'd Gate ;
For
ANNOTATIONS.
Deſcriptions of Night: Probably our Author had the
following one of Virgil in view.
Nox erat & terras animalia fera per omnes
Alituum PECUDUMQUE genus fopor altus ha-
bebat.
As Night and Chaos are repreſented by the Poets,
to have been the Progenitors of Dullneſs and Stupi-
dity, certainly our Author cou'd not have pointed out
a fairer Scene of A&tion for his HERO, than that va-
cant Space of Time, when the more thoughtful Part
of Mortals ſuſpend their Purſuits, and recruit their
Spirits for the Buſineſs of the Day Volius.
Ver.52. Back'd by one Vaffal. So Virgil,
Horrentibus umbris
Ipfe uno graditur comitatus Achate.
Ver.54. Thrice knock'd, &c. So Lucan,
Bis terque manu, quaſantia teftum,
Limina commovit--
Ver.56. At length he tries, &c. I can't well juſti-
fy our Author in this, for he ſeems to attribute à de-
gree of Reaſon and Reflection to the Cenſor; how
much better had he deſcrib'd him according to Ho-
Iracundus, Inexorabilis,
Difficilis, Querulus, &c.
Ver.57. And open flies, &c. Our Author in this
hath ſhewn himſelf well vers'd in the Beauties of
the
race.
The CENSORIAD.
For what is Oak or Iron, but a Sham,
Againſt the Force of ſuch a batt'ring Ram?
The Cenſor enters and about he flings 60
The injur'd Glaſſes, and the Chamber rings.
See Locke and Clarke in Floods of Liquor ſwim,
He ſeiz'd the Scholar, and the Scholar him;
Of fly their Wings, they give alternate Cuffs,
The Scholar labours, and the Cenfor puff's. 65
This
ANNOTATIONS.
the Claſſicks ; for it is obſervable, that all the Epic
Writers, when they ſtudy'd to exalt the Characters
of their Heroes, deſcrib'd them breaking Gates and
burſting open Doors: Thus Homer (Iliad 1 2.) mag-
nifies Hector for breaking the Gate of the Grecian
Wall with the Fragment of a Rock ; Milton aggran-
dizes the Courage of Satan, by deſcribing him break-
ing open Hell Gates, and the Author of Hudibras,
to exalt the Character of Magnano, repreſents him
indeed like our Hero, coming off with the worſt in
his Encounter, but ſeems to think him fufficiently
extoll'd in the other part of the Deſcription.
The brave Magnano came,
Magnano great in Martial Fame;
But when with Orſin he wag'd Fight,
'Tis fung, he got but little by't.
Yer Doors were feeble to reſiſt
The Fury of his armed Fift.
Ver.65. The Cenſor puffs. So Virgil,
Vaſtos quatit æger anbelitus artus.
Though much it irketh me to accuſe our Author
of Plagiariſm; yet Reader, perceiveft thou not, that
the following Deſcription is purloin'd from a Paſſage
in the fifth Æneid of Virgil, where Dares and Entel-
lus are contending at Whirlbats ? Albeit, we must al-
low the Application to be meer enough.
::
Ba
Ille,
I 2
The CENSORIAD.
This on Activity and Youth relies,
In Martial Spirit greater, leſs in Size :
Not ſo the Cenſor; the dull heavy Hulk
Chiefly depends on his enormous Bulk:
But as he moves his Body in a Heat,
70
His Joints relax beneath th' unwieldy Weight.
Bloodleſs they yet contend with many Bumps,
Their hollow Sides repeat the heavy Thumps ;
And now their Nails indent Heroic Scars,
They tug and lengthen one another's Ears:
75
With formidable Hands they lay around
Repeated Wounds, at each repeated Wound
Their Heads are dizzy'd, and their Cheeks re-
found.
2
ANNOTATION S.
Ille, pedum nclior motu, fretuſq; juventa:
Hic membris & mole valens; ſed tarda trahenti
Genua labant-
Multa viri nequidquam inter ſe vulnera jactant,
Multa cavo lateri ingeminant & pectore vaſtos
Dant Sonitus, erratz; aures & tempora circum
Crebra manus: duro crepitant ſub vulnere mala.
Stat gravis Entellus, &c.
Oftendit dextram inſurgens- alte
Extulit: ille iftum venientem à vertice velox
Prævidit, celerique elapfus corpore ceſit.
Entellus vires ir ventum effudit, & ultro
Ipfe gravis, graviterq; ad terram pondere vaſto
Concidit-
Dunceſe.
Ye
Thé CENSORIA D.
13
85
Yet lo! unmov'd the Mighty Cenſor ſtands,
Shakes off the Foe, and weighs his potent Hands;
The feebler Foe, as when with fatal Knocks, 81
The Butcher's bent to kill the ſtately Ox;
The Cenſor views in Majeſty of Fat,
And tries, with Inſult vain, this way and that.
Aloft his weighty Hand the Cenfor lifts,
And bravely charges--but the Scholar ſhifts ;
The yielding Air receiv'd the Cenſor's Strength,
And down he fella huge unwieldy Length!
Then, oh! what Scenes of Gallantry and Blood,
What noble Theme for Poets had enſu'd ; 90
Had not pacific Dulneſs, all unſeen,
Ruſh'd in a Freſhman's Habitude between;
Anxious to ſave her genuine Offspring's Life,
And put a Period to the doubtful Strife?
Him ſtraight the Goddeſs to his Room convey'd,
And in a downy Bed ſupinely laid;
96
ANNOTATIONS.
Ver.gr. Had not pacific Dulneſs-The Interpofi-
tion of Deities is frequently us'd by Homer and other
Epic Writers: from many Inſtances, take the fol-
lowing out of the 2ift Iliad, where Apollo reſcues his
Favourite Agenor from the Violence of Pelides.
-Ουδε τέασσεν*Απόλλων Κυδος άρέθαι
*Αλλα μίν εξήρπαξε, κάλυψε δ'αρ ήερε πολλή.
Then
14
The CENSORIAD.
Then gently round his conſecrated Head,
A miſty Cloud of drowſy Vapours ſhed.
To ſooth his Dolours with Nutation bland,
Thrice o'er his Temples ſhook the Magic Wand;
Thrice ſweetly humm'd, to lullaby his Pain, 101
Pambaicks ſoft ſleep-creating Strain !
And thrice her Parent Breath with his commix'd,
And his dim Eyes in leaden Slumber fix'd.
But
ANNOTATIONS.
Ver.1or. Thrice o'er his Temples. The Goddeſs
is here introduc'd with all ſuitable Pomp and Solem-
nity, who, at the ſame time ſhe diſplays her Divi-
nity, Thews all the tender care and concern of a Pa-
rent: to mitigate his late Misfortune, ſhe breaches
her Influence on him ; The lulls him aſleep. The
Goddeſs of Wiſdom herſelf cou'd do no more to her
Favourite Penelope in her Affli&tions,
-οι υπνον,
Ηδον έπι Βλεφάροισι βάλε γλαυκώπις "Αθηνη.
Certain it is, that nothing can give greater Orna-
ments to Poetry than this Figure, when well wrought
and aptly apply'dm-Nec Deus interfit, sziſi dignus
vindice nodus inciderit-It muſt be a Matter of
the laſt Importance, that demands the Preſence of a
Deity. So that, with the ſame poetical Juſtice
wherewith the God of Wit preſerv'd his Votary, the
Goddeſs of Dulneſs preſerv'd hers. Gronovius.
Ver.107. Pambaicks foft. A peculiar and inoffen-
five kind of things fo nominated from their ſoft and
fimple-meaning Author Namby Pamby. By the
Criticks dignified with the Titles of the Infantine,
the Finical, the See-Saw, &c. and which, to uſe his
own eaſy Dialect,
Readers
The CENSORIAD.
IS
105
;
But let the Cenſor's Folly be his Guide,
Since this is all that can ſupport his Pride
In ev'ry Scrape his Politicks muſt run,
And where his Schemes do nothing nothing's
done :
When daring Faults call haſty Vengeance down,
Preſumptuous Sins, too big for Half-a-Crowns
Then gentle Ras ſtupidly complains,
Whoſe Conſcience ſo much overweighs his Brains.
III
ANNOTATIONS.
Readers abſolutely keep
Awake-or kindly lull aſleep.
Didymus.
Hiatus in M. S.
valde de flendus
*
*
*
*
For my part, ,
As to the lamentable Chaſm in the M.S. Com.
mentators are ſtrangely divided ; fome tell us we
have loft about thirty or forty Lines, for which little
or no account can be given; others are of Opinion,
the Poem reach'd no farther, and that what Lines
follow are but a fpurious Supplement, a Practice too
notorious among fome Scholiafts!
I ſhall not pretend to be deciſive, but this I can
affirm, that I have deliver'd it to the World, as I
found it in a M. S. of the Grubſtreet Vatican, which
is reckon'd the moſt ancient now extant. Faber.
Verwn. Then gentle Rs ftupidly. I have
feen an old M. S. wherein, for ſtupidly, is written,
beavily; and it is more than probable, the former
hath been foifted in, either thro' the inadvertence
or Conceit of the Tranſcriber; becauſe, Heavy Com-
plaints hath been an old Mode of Speech, not but
that both may be equally applicable to the Perſon.
But
16
The CENSORIAD.
But Graſighs to ſee a Crime fo large,
For none but paltry Sinners are his Charge.
Yet grins and leers, at leaſt, to ſhew his Zeal, 115
Impertinence ſucceeds, tho' Power may fail.
He ſhall tell Tales, work Infamy more warm,
Inlarge, invent, think Nonſenſe-then inform.
If by the Looks the inmoſt Soul we trace,
Who cannot read his Dulneſs in his Face ? 120
Well does Grimace his Sentiments befit,
His Smiles are Commentators on his Wit.
Sar-
ANNOTATIONS.
Ver.118. Think Nonſenſe. A vulgar Author here
wou'd have faid, ſpeak Nonfenfe (as I have feen it
in one of the furreptitious Editions of this Poem)
but better knew our Poet to penetrate into the Me-
dullar cauſes of things ; for, methinks there is a wide
difference between one that thinks, and one that on-
Jy ſpeaks Nonſenſe : a wiſe Man, per lapſum lingua,
may
throw out Nonſenſe; but to think Nonſenſe, is
a peculiar Gift, a Talent not to be acquired by Art,
and as I may ſay, implanted on the Minds of ſome
of the Favourites of Nature herſelf, who are there-
fore called Naturals.
Ver.121. Well does Grimace, &c. The Doctrine
of Phyfiognomy is what hath been always maintained,
whence the Latin Adage, Vultus eſt index animi, is
daily quoted ; and certain it is, that the Countenance
of a Felon at the Bar has often been the ſtrongeſt E-
vidence againſt him. 'Tis from this received Opi-
nion, that Dryden, in his Fable of Cymon and Iphi-
genia has introduced the former Witneſſing-mbis
Wonder with an Idiot Laugh. And we find that Ho-
mer,
.
The CENSORIAD.
17
Sardonic Smiles diſtort his hideous Jaws,
Senſeleſs he jefts, and laughs without a Cauſe.
In vain Democritus he wou'd appear
125
With noč one ſign of Wiſdom—but the Sneer.
But inuch I grieve your Errors to expoſe,
To pawn Advice in Verſe, for Faults in Proſe;
Can you renounce thoſe Follies all deſpiſe,
Will future Ages ſay, you once were wiſe ? 130
Sooner ſhall fcribling * Coffey fue for Grace,
Or dull + Arbuckle's weekly Labours ceaſe :
Sooner ſhall out-ſhine a Barber's Block,
home riſe at fix, and think like Locke.
Yet with unhallow'd Feet, in endleſs round, 135
You boldly treſpaſs on Poetick Ground;
Profane the Flowers, and pollute the Strain
Of Homer, Horace, and the Mantuan Swain:
ANNOTATIONS.
mer, to expreſs Impudence, has uſed the Epithet,
Kuvómis. How far there Remarks may be applicable
to the Cenſor's Circumſtances, is beſt known to thofe
that have had Eyes to fee, and Ears to hear him.
Ver.123. Sardonic Smiles. Hear Servius upon this.
112 Sardinia naſcitur quædam herba, qu& Sardoa dici-
tur: hæc commefa ora hominum riEtus dolore contra-
bit, & quafi ridentes interimit : unde vuigo Eap divuos
yénus.
* t.Two notorious Scriblers; one as remarkable for
lad Verse, as the other for bad Projė. Ver.118.
C
Loft
18
The CENSORIAD.
:
Loſt to Reproof, tho Pallas ſhakes her Spear,
And * Phæbus often threats to pull thy Ear, 140
As when a ſluggiſh Aſs, whom Hunger leads
To Fields of bladed Corn; or verdant Meads ;
Feeds on, nor values the collected Noiſe
Of Peaſants, Maſtiffs, Curs, and Village-Boys :
They wave their Clubs, and plentifully pour, 145
Faſt on his groaning Sides a wooden Show'r:
Yet be, tho'much he bears, and much he bleeds,
Mocks their united Rage, and bears, and feeds.
But know, O thou! of undiſcerning Head,
With Front of Braſs, and Intellects of Lead; 150
Not all the Time you ſquander to explore,
Thro' dark Meanders, Nature's Myſtic Store;
Nor
ANNOTATIONS
* So Virgil
---Mihi Cynthius aurem
Vellit
As when a ſluggiſh Afs, &c. doubtleſs our Author
had the following Simile of Homer's in view, where
the paſſive Courage of Ajax is liken'd unto that of
an Aſs ; yet verily, it is much more happily apply'd
to our Hero.
Ως δ' ότ' όνος παρ' αρουραν των εθήσατο παίδας
Νωθης, ώ δη τολλά περί ρόπαλ' άμφις δάγη
Κειρει τ' εισελθών βαθυ λήιον οι δέ τε παίδες
Tύττουσιν ροπάλοισι βίνη δέτε νηπίν αυτών,
Στεδή τ' εξήλασσαν, επεί τ' εκορέσσατο Φορτής.
Iliad 11. Leunclavius.
Ver.151. Not all the time you ſquander, &c.ru nihil
invita dices faciefve Minervalaith Horace; and yet
how
The CENSORIA D.
19
Nor Globe, nor Glaſs, nor any Inſtrument
That * Serex forms, or Hellbam can invent:
Not all thy buſy Schemes, and fåge Device 155
Of reading Books, and ſuffocating Mice,
Can make thy Learning, or thy Senfe extend
Beyond thy old, Id Velim, in the end.
ANNOTATIONS.
how frequently do we 'oblerve this Precept tranf-
grefs'd, to the great Derriment of Society, whole
Intereft terminates in a proper Application of the
Talents of its ſeveral Members? is from this In-
fringement upon Natura, that the Publick vis often
depriv'd of good Coklers, jolly Tinkers, full-fed Al-
dermen, Tufty Dray-men, and able Butchers: is it
not a Matter of daily Experience, that ſome, by
peruſing Books, abuſe them, when they might have
been better employ'd in binding them for the uſe of
others? This Mifapplication of Parts is well expreſs'd
in a Paſquinade which was fix'd to the Cenſor's Door.
Lambinus.
A Curfe on him that fent thee fuft to School,
He ſpoild a Plow-man, to improve a Fcol.
rellus inarata quiefcit. Vir. .
Defuntque manus, poſcentibus arvis.---Luc.-
Ver.156. Suffocating Alice, &c. among the various
Entertainments of the Cenfor's, the choaking Mice
¡A 80 Air pump is no inconfiderable one.
celebrated Mathematical Inſtrument-Makcy
* A
ор.
Se
in Lond
C2
20
The CENSORIAD.
So have I ſeen upon a Sign diſplay'd,
Aloft in Air, a Horſe with Wings array'd; 160
Which (as Sir Toby ſaid) appear’d to prance
Progreſſive ſtill, but never cou'd advance :
And yet ſome good we boaſt, fome Learned Few,
Such as Old Athens would not bluſh to view;
And ye uninfluenc'd Few,whoſe candid Hearts 165
Diſdain the Practice of inglorious Arts ;
Who thro' the Paths of Virtue follow Praiſe,
And value Merit in the worſt of Days:
Whọ view with mournful, but indignant Eyes,
The Coxcomb triumph, and the Blockbead riſe ; 170
Who bluſh to think, that Alma ſhou'd advance
A Dołt from Engd, or an Ape from France:
-
ANNOTATIONS
Ver.159. So have I ſeen, &c. reſembling this, is the
Simile illuſtrating the Character of Sidrophelin
Hudibras, but with greater Juſtice, applicable to the
Confor.
He, as a Dog that turns the Spit,
Beſtirs himſelf, and plies his Feet
To climb the Wheel, but all in vain,
His own Weight drags him down again,
And fill is in the ſelf-fame Place,
Where at his ſetting out he was, &c. Hudibras.
.
Gronovius.
While
The CENSORIAD. 20
While old lerne's Progeny bewail
Her Genius languiſh in the lighter Scale ;
Forgive my Satyr, and indulge my Spleen, 175
So may your Fame be ſafe, your Laurels green ;
Tho' bad the Numbers are, the Satyr's juſt;
You can't deny one Line, and yet I muſt.
W
22
The CENSORIAD.
.
Varia Lectiones,
wy?
Excerpta ex eruditiſſimis Comentariis
Ric. Bentleii, Lud. Theobaldi,
Nec non Leonardi Welſtedii
.
Ver.14,2 Who teach unpoliſh'd Monſters to declaim,
15. S And fervile Hearts to tremble at a Theme.
I have ſeen this in an old Manuſcript, written thus,
Who teach unficdged Monſters to declaim,
And fervile Hearts to tremble at a Name.
Unfledg'd! Barbarous ! Gothíck! Iniproper! be-
ing only peculiak so Fowl! I thou'd rather conclude,
Rude was the Original Epithet, but that a Mono-
fyllable wou'd nog amfwer the Moaſure of the Verſe;
but trembling at'a Name in the fubfequent Line, is
entirely ſpurious aud vernacular.
Bentlčius.
Ver.2 s. And fickle as the Beaſt, &c. I have read
it in the Grub.ſtreet Manuſcripts thus, Thoughtfully
dull, and rudely inſincere : But this we thought pro-
per not to preſerve, it ſeeming admitted more for its
Verity than the Beauty of the Verſification.
Welftedius.
Ver.29. For Imbu'd, lege Indu'd or Endu'd.
Theobaldus.
Ver. 1. To curb the Sallies, &c. I have ſeen Crub
for Curb in a certain Copy, but this is an Error too
obvious to be overſeen by any Reader of tolerable
Underſtanding.
Bent.
Ver.44.
lays Snares for Redicule, &c.
Redicule! Kakography! an Error of the laſt Con-
coction! this muſt have been a Blunder of the Edi-
tors,
The CENSORIAD.
23
tors. Blot out that (e) boldly, and ſupply it with ().
Theobs.
Ver.53. He boldly ſtagger'd, Sc. in an antient Edi-
tion is written, fwagger'd, which appears to be more
correſpondent to the Cenſor's Perfon, were he not in
Liquor.
Welftedits.
Ver.99, To footh his Dolors with Nutation bland,
100. $ Thrice o'er his Temples ſhook her Magick
(Wand
I ſhall only offer, in this place, a conje&ural E-
mendation, which ſeems not unnatural.
To footh his Sorrows with Lethargick Nod,
Thrice o'er his Temples ſhook her Magick Rod.
Theobaldus.
Ver.132. dull Arbuckle's weekly Labours ceaſe,
&c. All the Copies amazingly diſagree in the diffe-
rent Lections of this Line ; in fome it is weekly
Tribunes, in others weekly Nonsenſe, in others weekly
Journals; but mechinks, the Word Labours implics
all the Degrees and Kinds of bad Writing, for which
this Author daily diftinguiſhes himſelf.
FINI S.
W
ADVERTISEMENT.
E muſt acquaint the Pub-
lick, that as this Edition
was juſt perfected, we received a
curious Collection of Notes, which
we promiſe faithfully to inſert in
the next Edition, and hope the in-
genious Author will not impute
it either to our Neglect or Con-
tempt of his Performance, that the
World is not now favour'd with
them ; however, to fhew the juſt
Eſteem the preſent Commentators
have for them, they thought pro-
per to let the Curious know, they
are to be introduc'd with the fol-
lowing Motto:
Nec deficit alter
Aureus, & fimili ſílendefcit virga metallo.
Virg.
.
( 25 )
A LIBEL on Dr. D-----------Y,
And a Certain Great LORD.
--
DE
Eluded Mortals, whom the Great
Chuſe for Companions tête à tête ;
Who at their Dinner, en famille,
Get leave to fit whene'er
you
will:
Then, boaſting, tell us where you dine'd,
And how his Lordſhip was ſo kind;
How many pleaſant Things he ſpoke,
And how you laugh'd at ev'ry Joke :
Swear, he's a moſt facetious Man,
That you and he are Cup and Can.
You travel with a heavy Load,
And quite miſtake Preferment's Road.
Suppoſe my Lord and you alone,
Hint the leaſt Int'reſt of your own;
His Viſage drops, he knits his Brow,
He cannot talk of Bus'neſs now:
Or mention but a vacant Poſt,
He'll turn it off with, Name your Toaſt.
Nor could the niceſt Artiſt paint
A Countenance with more Conſtraint.
D
For,
26
A LIBEL ON Dr.
Dy.
oled
For, as their Appetites to quench,
Lords keep a Pimp to bring a Wench;
So, Men of Wit are but a kind
Of Pandars to a vicious Mind ;
Who proper Objects muſt provide,
To gratify their Luſt of Pride :
When weary'd with Intrigues of State,
They find an idle Hour to prate,
Then, ſhou'd you dare to ask a Place,
You forfeit all your Patron's Grace,
And diſappoint the ſole Deſign,
For which he ſummon'd you to dine.
Thus, Congreve ſpent in writing Plays,
And one poor Office, half his Days;
While Montague, who claim'd the Station,
To be Mecænas of the Nation:
For Poets open Table kept,
But ne'er conſider'd where they ſept.
Himſelf, as rich as fifty Jews,
Was eaſy, though they wanted Shoes ;
And crazy Congreve ſcarce cou'd ſpare
A Shilling to diſcharge his Chair ;
Till Prudence taught him to appeal,
From Pæan's Fire to Party Zeal:
Not owing to his happy Vein,
The Fortunes of his latter Scene,
Took
A LIBEL ON Dr.Day.
27
Took proper Principles to thrive,
And ſo might ev'ry Dance alive.
Thus Steele, who own'd what others writ,
And flouriſh'd by imputed Wit;
From lodging in a hundred Jayls,
Was left to ſtarve, and die in Wales.
Thus Gay, the Hare with many
Friends,
Twice feven long Years the Court attends ;
Who, under Tales conveying Truth,
To Virtue form’d a Princely Youth ;
Who paid his Courtſhip with the Crowd,
As far as Modeſt Pride allow'd;
Rejects a ſervile Uber's Place,
And leaves St. James's in diſgrace.
Thus Addiſon, by Lords careft,
Was left in foreign Lands diſtreft ;
Forgot at home, became for Hire,
A trav’ling Tutor to a 'Squire :
But wiſely left the Muſes Hill,
To Busʼneſs ſhape'd the Poet's Quill:
Let all his barren Laurels fade,
Took up himſelf the Courtier's Trade ;
And grown a Miniſter of State,
Saw Poets at his Levee wait.
Hail! happy Pope, whoſe gen'rous Mind,
Deteſting all the Stateſman kind;
D2
Con-
.
28 A LIBEL on Dr. Dy.
Contemning Courts, at Courts unſeen,
Refus'd the Viſits of a Queen:
A Soul with ev'ry Virtue fraught,
By Sages, Prieſts, or Poets taught;
Whoſe filial Piety excels
Whatever Grecian Story tells.
A Genius for all Stations fit,
Whoſe. meaneſt Talent is his Wit:
His Heart too great, tho? Fortune little,
To lick a Raſcal Stateſman's Spittle.
Appealing to the Nation's Taſte,
Above the Reach of Want is place'd.
By Homer, dead, was taught to thrive,
Which Homer never cou'd alive;
And fits aloft on Pindus' Head,
Deſpiſing Slaves that cringe for Bread.
Truc Politicians only pay,
For ſolid Work, but not for Play ;
Nor ever chuſe to work with Tools,
Forg'd up in Colleges and Scbools.
Conſider how much more is due
To all their Fourney-men, than you,
At table you can Horace quote ;
They at a pinch can bribe a Vote:
You Thew your Skill in Grecian Story,
But they can manage Wbig and Tory.
You,
A LIBEL on Dr. D-y.
29
You, as a Critick, are ſo curious,
To find a Verſe in Virgil ſpurious:
But they can ſmoke the deep Deſigns,
When Bolingbroke with Pultney dines,
Beſides, your Patron may upbraid ye,
That you have got a Place already ;
An Office for your Talents fit,
To flatter, carve, and ſhew your Wit;
To fnuff the Lights, and ſtir the Fire,
And get a Dinner for your Hire.
What Claim have you to Place or Penſion ?
He over-pays in Condeſcenſion.
But, Rev'rend Dočtor, you, we know,
Cou'd never condeſcend ſo low.
The Vice-Roy, whom you now attend,
Wou'd, if he durſt, be more your Friend;
Nor will in you thoſe Gifts deſpiſe,
By which himſelf was taught to riſe.
When he has Virtue to retire,
He'll grieve he did not raiſe you highet,
And place you in a better Station,
Although it might have pleas'd the Nation.
This may be true---ſubmitting ftill
ToW's more than R Will.
And what Condition can be worſe?
He comes to drain a Beggar's Purſe:
Hc
0
3
A LIBEL on Dr. D---y,
He comes to tye our Chains on faſter,
And ſhews us
Eis our Maſter.
Careſſing Knaves, and Dunces wooing,
To make them work their own Undoing:
What has he elſe to bait his Traps,
Or bring his Vermin in, but Scraps?
The Offals of a Church diſtreſt,
A hungry Vicaridge, at beſt;
Or ſome remote inferior Poſt,
With forty Pounds a Year, at moft.
But, here again you interpoſe,
Your fav’rite Lord is none of thoſe,
Who owe their Virtues to their Stations,
And Characters to Dedications :
For keep him in, or turn him out,
His Learning none will call in doubt:
His Learning, though a Poet ſaid it
Before a Play, wou'd loſe no Credit:
Nor Pope wou'd dare deny him Wit,
Altho' to praiſe it Philips writ.
I own, he hates an Action baſe,
His Virtues battling with his Place;
Nor wants a nice diſcerning Spirit,
Betwixt a true and ſpurious Merit ;
Can ſometimes drop a Voter's Claim,
And give up Party to his Fame.
I
A LIBEL on Dr. Dy.
31
I do the moſt that Friendſhip can,
I hate the Vice-Roy, love the Man.
But you, who, till your Fortune's made,
Muſt be a Sweet'ner by your Trade;
Shou'd ſwear he never meant us ill,
We ſuffer ſore againſt his Will :
That if we cou'd but fee his Heart,
He wou'd have choſe a milder Part:
We rather ſhou'd lament his Caſe,
Who muſt obey, or loſe his Place.
Since this Reflection ſlipt your Pen,
Inſert it when you write agen ;
And, to illuſtrate it, produce
This Simile for his Excuſe.
“ So to deſtroy a guilty Land,
« An Angel fent by Heaven's Command,
« While he obeys Almighty Will,
Perhaps, may feel Compaſſion ftill,
« And wiſh the Task had been aſſign'd
“ To Spirits of leſs gentle kind.”
But I, in Polilicks grown old,
Whoſe Thoughts are of a diff'rent Mold;
Who, from my Soul, fincerely hate
Both and Miniſters of State,
Who look on Courts with ſtricter Eyes,
To ſee the Seeds of Vice ariſe ;
Can
I
32
A LIBEL on Dr. D-ny.
Can lend you an Alluſion fitter,
Tho'flati’ring Knaves may call it bitter :
Which, if you durſt but give it place,
Wou'd fhew you many a Stateſman's Face.
Freſh from the Tripod of Apollo,
I had it in the Words that follow :
(Take notice, to avoid Offence,
I here except His Excellence.)
So, to effect his Mb's Ends.
From Hell a V-DEV'L aſcends ;
His Budget with Corruptions crammid,
The Contributions of the Damn'd;
Which, with unfparing Hand, he ſtrows
ThroCourts and Senates as he goes.
And then at Belzebub's Black-Hall,
Complains his Budget was too ſmall.
Your Simile may better ſhine
In Verſe ; but there is Truth in mine :
For no imaginable Things
Can differ more than God and
And Stateſmen by ten thouſand odds,
Are ANGELS, juſt as
are Gods.
F I N I S.
SWIFT
THE CE N S O R I A D
1 7 3 0