•
:
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મે
54
I
Hubbard
Imag. Voy.
Th
A25
CA
§.
***

ARTES
LIBRARY
1817
VERITAS
UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN
GAMUMI
CAVCULTUE DONLY C
TUBBOR
SCIENTIA
OF THE
EI QUÆRIS-PENINSULAM-AMŒ ÑA
CIRCUMSPICE
HALAL JNE JAYAWA _S'. S/ -I/
JO
GIFT OF
REGENT LL-HUBBARD
UHAUS-7
EIIIII
&
1

Funny Adventures and
Mishaps of the Immortal
Old Historical Character
Who Sails Away From His
Desert Island on a Raft
Encounters the Strange
Men Women and Manners
of Modern London Life.
•
ست.
•
Fel
ROBINSON CRUSOE'S RETURN,
>.
By Barry Pain
#



ROBINSON
CRUSOES
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"My Mind Being Now More at Ease, and Having Leisure From the Troubles Which Beset Me, I Took Up Myerspective Glass That I
Might See Somewhat of the Character of the Natives Who Had Already Gathered on the Shore. They here for the Most Part
White, but There Were Some Few Black Also."
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CHAPTER I.
My Saje Arrival Among Friendly Natives and a Fortunate Discovery
On the Beach.
(The editor regrets that the manuscript of the opening instantly the signs of recovery were apparent. It opened one
chapter is in some places defective and illegible. La- eye, and, as I implored it to speak, said gently: "There was
cunae are indicafce in the usual manner.)
too much soda in that last one." It then crawled inside my
goatskin umbrella, and told me I could bring it a cup of tea
when it rang.
B
My mind being now more at ease, and having leisure from
I had still one of the large the troubles which beset me, I took up my perspective glass
case bottles of cordial waters, that I might see somewhat of the character of the natives
nor any occasion to husband who had already gathered on the shore. They were for the
it further, being now but a most part white, but there were some few black also.
little way from the land, and latter all carried musical implements of some kind, and wore
my raft being rapidly carried fantastic clothing, striped and very whimsical; and every now
thither by the tide.
and then they would call a halt and make noises with their
These
perfectly confounded and music and go through strange antics. Whenever this hap-
amazed, for the cork had been:
removed from the bottle, to-
gether with a third of the
liquor, and by the side of it
lay my poor parrot, as I
thought, dead.
Being now in the utmost
misery and despair, I cried
aloud: "Wretch that I am!
Is it for this that I educated
thee, poor Poll, the one com-
panion of my solitude-to
diè thus in sight of land,
villa residence of a seaside
gilt
With
the desirable
resort looking down upon us? Is it for this that I
nurtured thee, and fed thee with anything that I could not
eat myself, and watched the opening of thy mind and .the
somewhat distorted growth of thy morality?" Nor could I
any longer contain my tears, for it was but too clear that this
poor fowl had done all for my sake on finding me in that
fearful swoon. It had removed the cork laboriously, and little
by little, with its beak; nay. more, too confident of its
capacity, it had tested the wholesomeness of the liquor, ex-
amining whether it was indeed of the strength indicated on
the label and contained the proper proportion of volatile
ethers, before bringing any of it to me.
However, having drunk what was left in the bottle, I be-
came more composed in
my mind., and ۱۱) ۱۱۰
asked myself whether
my poor Poll was in
very truth dead, as with
my hasty judgment I
hàả sappused. So, with
but little hops. I put
one finger on the bird's
Agw, and tʊ my great
jey fund that the pulse
still beat. Yet was I
ia a great quandary
what it were best to do
until I recalled to my
U
mind a certain remedy
1
EING somewhat recovered from
my swoon, bethought me that
in use among seafaring
men for those calentures
which
occur on the
morning after the pre-
vious occasion. This.
then, I determined to
apply, though still some-
what doubting of it, an
taking the bird by the
tail I dipped it in the.
sca and then spread it
Aut on the raft, Almost
律
​Pri
.: 、、.-
17/0.
**
ROA
Welcom
Willy's
AU
•
JAME
0
►
ME BAC
ܕ܂
السلامه
FREY
"The Sight That Now Met My Eyes Was One to Set My Blood in a Ferment.
On the Beach Before Me Was a Complete Suit of Clothes, Neatly Folded
and Surmounted by a Pair of Gilt Rimmed Spectacles; by the Side of
These Lay Two Towels, an Imitation Panama, and Two Department
Store Beach or Yachting Shoes, at Forty-nine Cents."
/////
14
!

pened the white people would gather
round in a great crowd and afterward pay
tribute of money, without offering any
resistance. Neither then nor afterward,
when I observe this thing more clearly,
could I find
lanation of it.
ople, they seemed
but their dress
*
lile
80-
As for th
quiet and
and their man ere in many ways
strange to me, that after my lòng
journ-and that not for the first time-
upon a desert island, I hesitated
to go in among them. For, indeed,
I had a
of goatskin with the
hair outwardegoba save for a shini-
ness in the fored me from the writing of
my previous adventures, nor was my cap?
→
fa
so much amiss being of wildcat and nearly new; but as for
my
Forn on a nail
as best I could; nor
had I any boots. It is true that, poor, sinful wretch though
I was, I had little of the fop in my composition, yet I could
not but consider that I was adventuring myself in a strange
land, not even knowing what land it might be, nor what was
the nature of its inhabitants, and that I should be, as it
were, a guest of another man's house and show fitting respect.
For this reason I determined to land at a point about a mile
distant from the town, where the beach was unfrequented and
there wait until nightfall before examining the place further.
The first part of this I effected very easily, with the help
of my shoulder-of-mutton sail and the current aiding me, run-
ning in
sandy beach. Here there was a small cave or
the liff, very convenient for me, where I might
stow my ge and shelter myself until dusk came. The raft
itself I abandoned to the waves, having no more occasion før
it, yet not without some feeling of sorrow at parting with
what had served me so vell.
**D
recess
"
•
I then took my bearings as best I could, but, sinful wretch
that I did I say that before, by the way?—I had forgot-
ten to who up the compass the night before. However, so far
as I could tell, I was in latitude 78 deg. centigrade, with
per cent off for cash, the wind S.S.W., and a New Moon
on the First Sunday in Epiphany. But what with the com-
pass having fun down, and the salt water having got into the
cyclometer I was in a state of the most miserable uncertainty
about these and, indeed, about all other matters. I had, so I
thought yet many hours to wait before I could venture forth,
without so much as one gramophone to divert my mind. My
Daurol was wet through, though in that I had acted for the
best
was nothing, however, to drink or eat: and,
being now very low and dejected in my mind, I spread the
parrot out the sun to dry, and returned into the cave in
the utmost despair, calling myself the most unfortunate and
distressed mortal that ever was in the world.
Such was my implicity and ingratitude, for might I not
better have thought that I was come safe to the end of a most
perilous voyage without so much as losing my umbrella? True
it is that we think much of the slight evils that we have es-
caped. If a man stamps violently, though it be but once,
another's toes, that other must needs speak of it with peevish
discontent, when he should rather be thankful that he was born
a man and not a doormat. If you liked our adventures, try
our moralizations.
on
At last I did contrive to set aside my gloomy speculations,
zalling to my mind the evils that I had escaped, for I might
have been a cuckoo, or a cucumber, or à corkscrew, but in
truth I was none of these things. Presently my parrot came
into the cave, being now well dried after the same manner
that I had been wont to use for my clay pipkins, and in reply
to many kind inquiries desired to state that it felt pretty well,
but that some evil-disposed person or persons had shrunk a
steel band on to its head and filled it up with fireworks It
then gave its celebrated imitation of the drawing of a cork,
and, overcome by the painfulness of the association, I left the
cave
The sight that now met my eyes was one to set my blood
in a ferment. On the beach before me was a com-
plete suit of clothes, neatly folded and surmounted
by a pair of gilt-rimmed spectacles; by the side
of these lay two towels, an imitation Panama,
and two department store beach or yachting shoes
at forty-nine cents.
Her


to my
lute
all that I needed, really
erfluity, for I was reso-
dgoatskin coat; hor were the
use mea but the rest, and
spectacle
the great-
more especially the
est boon, as otherwise I had been compelled to
wait in discomfort and with no provision until the
had gone forth extremely sotto
dusk, and, even so, o first I summoned my par-
voce and sub rosa.
rot to witness my great good fortune, at which it
was deeply affected, leaning against a rock for
support and exclaiming: "Well, this is easy!"
Then, overcome with gratitude, I burst into tears,
as I might well afford to do with two large towels
we them away,
Buently I observed a young man swim-
ming toward us in great agitation, shouting:
"Put those things down, can't you?" and "Leave
'em alone, won't you?" and other such phrases. At this I made
my change as swiftly as might be, keeping of that which I had
before worn no more than the belt with the money in it and
my goatskin; and the young man coming now to land, I
folded up my parrot and slipped it into my pocket and ran
with all speed up the face of the cliff.
I had perhaps done better if I had killed this fellow, which
I might easily have accomplished, for I had my musket and
powder-horn with me; but of the powder there was very little
now remaining, and I had determined to be sparing of it until
I knew better what the resources of this country might be.
However, he soon relinquished his pursuit of me, seeing it to
be hopeless, for by long practice I
In-
had become very fleet of foot.
deed, in my last pace it had been my
castom to chase the antelopes, aye, and
to catch them, too, though not for their
meat as much as for their plumage, which,
being lined with chamois throughout, was
useful to me in many ways. This fellow,
then, seeing that I had reached the top
of the cliff and that he could not come at
me, began to use the most horrid oaths
and imprecations, to which I made re-
ply that if he would not desist and learn
better conduct I would knock the
top of his head into his throat and choke
him to death. The proceedings then
terminated.



So I went on my way by the cliff path
toward the town, being how greatly
lightened in my heart by my good fortune,
and no little pleased with my equipment,
all very fit and proper for me, and that,
too, obtained without shedding of blood,
but by the exercise of simple tact. Often
afterward I had occasion to observe with
wonder how much a little tact may effect.
Nor had I gone very far when I en-
countered two women, both female, some-
what brightly clad. Their intentious
seemed to me pacific, but, remembering
all that my father had said to me on the
subject of caution, I took care to keep
them on the side nearer to the edge of the
cliff, so that in the event of treachery I
them both over.
might throw
But
of this there was no need, for, though
of
at first they eyed me narrowly,
which I was somewhat jealous, they soon
smiles, and so passed very

Ono va applexed
Оде
me. I heard one
WOOD SAY:
"These bloomin' motorists do get theic-
selves up nowadays, don't they? The
seemed to me to be English, yet
in a strange, outlandish fashion

ة
JENERIMA
منه
Q
AZVALUIN
Twit
7
Đ
Gwen
1
"This Fellow, Then,
ing That I Had Proul
the Top of the Clipa
That He Could
Come at Me, Bega
Use the Utmost E
Oaths and Impre
to Which I Made
That If He Woul
Desist and Learn
Conduct I Would k
T
+
the Top of Hisy
Into His Throa
Choke Him.”.
+8
and almost without sense of meaning; for I did not at this
time know what a motorist might be, though it seemed that
I was one; nor could I rightly tell how I, who was not a
flower, could be said to bloom, nor up what I had got myself.
A
0
da
riking inland
ce and so
misfor-
1
sea-front was gathered no small throng of people, in the hundred stand me in good ste
to and fro, and though many looked hard at into the town, I soon had this fello
yet I took no harm by that. Seeing, then, that could go more quietly. Nor was this
they were of a peaceful intention, I made bold to tunes, for in my haste I had put these suceader in the same
myself to one who had somewhat the air of a common pocket where my parrot lay, and it red that he had a
asking him if there were any news from the Brazils; vacancy for them. Of the two bottles made no better profit,
ich he answered with great cheerfulness that he under- as I shall tell in its proper place.
hat the nut-trees had the fly, and asked me if I should However, in this town there was a plenty shops, and I
Sit in the afternoon. Whereupon I told him that I soon got me provisions, viz., some excellent raisins of the sun
t come from a raft where I had been for twelve and a great store of biscuit-cakes, for the which I proffered
mad I any mind to venture again so soon; at which one of my pieces of eight, but the merchant could make noth-
de on his forehead with one finger, and so turned away. ing of it, saying that he could not change foreign money;
observed that he had many small craft there on the but I found other coins in one of the pockets which had re-
and compelled some to go out in them, though their cently befallen me, and though all strange to me some of
ufferings were
were pitiful to witness.
these contented him. Also I was fain to buy me a good piece
Also I saw more nearly, a group of those black people of dried goat's flesh,, but the merchant assured me that he had
of whom, I have spoken; and it seemed to me a very shabby just sold the last he had of it, and his distress that he no
and cowardly thing that when these blacks began their songs longer could furnish it was most moving. However, he told
and antics, and the white folk had gathered round them, the me that for prime breakfast bacon he could not be beaten,
children were placed in the forefront, so that, if the tribute and of that I took as much as it would be convenient for me
had not been paid, these helpless infants would have been the to carry. Then he set to asking me if there would be anything
be massacred. Nor could I understand why the whites, else that morning, rubbing his hands the while, and altogether
greatly superior in number, did not drive these blacks I think he was as honest and civil a man as ever there was in
sea, and so make an end; and I spoke of this to a this world; so that afterward I wondered greatly whether it
an old man, and he seemed to very much of my mind, might be that the whiteness of his apron were in some sort
did not offer to lead the attack, but rather moved the cause of the purity of his life, but this was plainly too
fantastic and whimsical.
quickly away from them.
But what I did most admire was the hospitable habit of This same man has asked me if I had my motor outside,
these people, for in certain places I found little flat-topped or if he should send what I had purchased. To which, being
carts or barrows set forth with all kinds of refreshment for perhaps over-zealous, I answered that I would carry it my-
the passerby, such as shell fish of many kinds, also the banana, self. Often afterward have I rebuked myself for this mis-
the tootie frootie, and other succulent fruits. And of these trust, being sure that he would indeed have sent the goods,
my hunger bid me partake somewhat largely, but being but a and I make no doubt that he was cut to the heart by the re-
stranger as it were, a guest of these people, I controlled my- fusal; for he was most eager to please me, inquiring diligently
self and took no more than a handful of succades of sweet- whether there would be anything in soap or candles, likewise
meats, very good, and two bottles that I judged to contain opening the door for me, also observing that the weather
usquabaugh, or some such liquor. Even so, all did not fall out continued fine, and in such a way that he seemed to be thank-
well with me, for some scurvy fellow came after me, very vio- ing me for having thus arranged it. However, making all
lent and hostile, and seeming, as I supposed, to demand money, running south and by east under a fresh wird but with a
into one great parcel, I now set my course back to the cave,
though his talk was most outlandish to my ears. Then once list to port, my change being for the most park in bronze coin
more did my old practise of giving the cassowary five yards and all in one pocket.
*
be
DAB.
C

tran
Hence I was at first determined to go back and ask the woman
to inform me on these matters, but afterward it seemed best
to go on to the town and first secure me some provision, which
I did, as I will now set forth.
CHAPTER II.
Shocking Spectacle and an Encounter with a Violent and Hostile
Vative


↓
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་་I་
"Nor Had I Gone Very Far
When I Encountered Two
Women, Both Female, Some-
what Brightly Clad. I Took
Care to Keep Them on the
Side Nearer to the Edge of
the Cliff, so That in the Event
of Treachery I
ight Throw
yo pai
Then
Over.
But of
There Was no Need,
for Though at First They
ed Me Narrowly, of
Which I Was Somewhat
Jealous, They Soon Broke
Into Smiles, and so Passed
Very Quietly."
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I
CHAPTER III.
Takes Refuge from Savage Pursuers Under the Seat of One of a Series
of Curious Linked Cabins.
b
REAT, indeed, was my joy and thankfulness to find my
cave even as I had left it, and my first care was to
set free my poor Poll once more.
..
But the bird seemed very grave and low in spirit,
saying that if it was to be fed exclusively on rum and jujubes
it would like to leave at the end of its month, and that I had
better engage an ostrich instead
So
comforted it with a piece
raisins, pointing out that at
I, and that there had been no
sweetmeats, and that a stone
ditions of rotary progressi
ably debarred from vegetable accre
tions.
nevit
hot on the cake and a few
biscuit
had fared better than
nt upon it to eat those
con-
More also I might have said, having
many such sage reflections at my disposal,
but at this point my parrot was seized
with a fit of coughing so hard that my
voice could not be heard; and afterward
it went out, as it said, to synchronize its
watch.
I then opened my two bottles and found
that they contained sarsaparilla, which is
much used for poisoning squirrels; but,
indeed, I had no squirrels.
The rest of this day I spent in putting
my little cave in order; arranging all
commodiously for me, being minded to
stay there some time.
Poor, sinful wretch that I was—you'll
stop me if I say that again, won't you?
I little knew how soon and under what
sad circumstances I was to be cast forth.
This, then, befel me no later than the
following day at noon, and I must give
you some short account of it.
▸
I had walked forth in the direction of
the town, with my parrot on my shoulder,
but without my gun, when, on a sudden,
I encountered a group of young men, and
among them one who wore a pair of gold-
rimmed spectacles and he, pointing at
me and gesticulating very violently, cried
lout:
"That's the fellow who stole my
clothes" so that they all ran at me in a
threatening manner, waving sticks and
cudgels and calling upon others to stop
me.
Add
It is a very just observation that fre
quently, in the course of our lives, the
evil which in itself we most seek to shun,
and which, when we are fallen into it, is
the most dreadful to us, is oftentimes the
means or door of our deliverance; and so
it fell out now, as I shall set forth.
It happened in my last place, owing to
the Summer solstice having come un-
gummed, that a great herd of quaggas
became afflicted with a rabies or mad-
ness.
*
this state, then, of fury and disorder, some four hundred
them gave chase to me, which lasted for the greater part
week, when, the rainy season being now come on, the
match had to be postponed.
1
Now, while I was being chased by these hairy-backed
quaggas, and in the greatest danger of losing my life, I took
but little pleasure in it, smiting upon my breast and saying
that I was of all men in this world the most miserable; yet
all this white was gaining such experience in twisting and
doubling and turning as now served me in very good stead.
i

•
I never ceased running until I came to a place just be-
yond the town, which was in appearance new to me.
Nor could I know then what it might be; for here were
many cabins on wheels, somewhat after the manner of cara-
vans, numbered either by one, two or three, and fastened to-
gether by chains.
Also there was a road, narrow and beyond all expectation
in straightness, and on this road were long lines of iron placed
parallel, having on the under side and at right angles to these
lines heavy balks of timber partially embedded.
·
2
15
Seeing, then, that these caravans were all empty, I made
bold to enter one of them, being greatly in need of some repose.
My poor Poll was also much incommoded, having only.
with extreme difficulty maintained its place on my shoulder,
and however it picked up the words that it now used I am at
a loss to say; nor, though I rebuked it most sternly, did it.
show the least sign of penitence or amendment.
Thr
was furism
padded, and com
numbered one upon the door,
the two sides, thickly
ed stuff, all very fine.
And at first was MIR
e on one of these seats,
but reflecting that in this way might be seen through the
windows, if any of my pursuers were curious to search further
for me, I chose rather to lie on the floor under the seats, and
though this made but a hard bed, yet I was thankful for it,
and before long both my parrot and I were very soundly
asleep.
•
From this sleep I was awakened by a most dreadful
shock, and was more horrified on opening my eyes to see that
there was now another man under the other seat.
•
:.
Not daring to move, I wrung my hands in agony, and
cried aloud that if there was one thing I disliked more than
another it was an earthquake, and if there were no other
shock I would vow to lead a better life in the future, and
endeavor by civility, low prices and strict attention, to merit
the approval of my customers; but, indeed, my mind was se
discomposed and agitated with fear that I scarce knew what
I said.
·
This was indeed. a horrid business, and bitterly did I
regret, now that it was too late, that I had ever left my last
place, nor could I see that I had done aught to deserve the
misfortunes that came so thick upon me.
True, I had taken the clothes of the young man, but was
that any reason why I should be chased by him in so hostile
a manner, as if I had been some ild animal. Could I reason-
ably be asked to return my enemy's suit? That is not Bridge.
Here, however, I was somewhat relieved, for the stranger
under the other seat turning on his side towards me, I saw
that he was an old man, very well and properly dressed, with
a face of extreme mildness and blandness, and that he was
not such a one that would do me harm.
•
Mag
He then, speaking in a low voice, said that this was no
earthquake, but that they had just backed the engine on.
He advised me further to maintain the most absolute
silence, else were we both lost, admitting that he perceived
that I was new to the job.
This advice I diligently followed, though with the greatest
trembling, for now the caravan began to move, and when it
stopped again I heard many voices without, and one in pai
ticular, very loud, crying with great authority, "London
only."
And presently the caravan began to move again, and this
time far more rapidly, and now the stranger came out from
under the seat, brushed the dust from his clothes, and in-
vited me to do as much.
This I did, but with some trembling and reluctance. The
stranger now observed that we had pulled it off all right, and
asked of my name. I told him that I was Robinson Crusoe.
"Rats!" said the stranger. And on my asking him if he
had any other name, admitted freely that his friends called
him George.
f.
I'll
KERRY
WAM
The Stranger Now Observed that We Had Pulled It Off All Right, and Asked of My Name,
Robinson Crusoe Ra Said the Stranger. And on My Asking Him if He Had
Freely That His Friends Called Him George
›
Tu vi kan man and a
;
I
}


1

I Told Him That I Wa
Other Name, Admitta

Synopsis of Preceding Chapters.
HAVING discovered the secret of Perpetual Middle Age-which accounts for his
present hale and hearty condition and undiminished love of adventure-Robinson
Crusoe voyages from his desert island on a frail raft with a leg-of-mutton sail, ac-
companied by his parrot. He at length sights land and disembarks on a beach thronged
by white people who seem civilized, but whose dress and manners are strange to
him. His coat of goat in seeming to attract undesirable attention, he appropriates
certain garments which he finds neatly folded on the beach, whereupon be is pursued
by a violent and hostile hative, but takes to his heels. After an exciting chase and
several hairbreadth escapes he enters one of several curious "lipked cabins" and con-
ceals himself under a seat. Presently there is a fearful jolt. he hears a voice outside!
calling, "Londos only!" and perceives that the linked cabins are moving rapidly. ▲
fellow-fugitive concealed beneath another seat emerges and inquires who he is, and
In response to a truthful reply, remarks, "Rats." On being asked if he has any
other name, the stranger admits freely that his friends call him George.
Lord that manage the p
Ja 19.
CHAPTER IV.
A.Most Affable Fellow Traveller Offers to Take Charge of His Money Belt.
•İN
G.
RATS: "You have not grasped the
point. Robinson Crusoe was, on
his own confession, born in the
seventeenth century; this is the twentieth.
I don't want to call you a liar; but if you
really are Robinson Crusoe you're an an-
achronism. I should have said on a casual
inspection that you were a remarkable es-
cape from an asylum for mad motorists.
Correct me, of course, if I'm wrong.
""
This was all said in so smiling and en-
gaging a manner that I could not but be
gratified by it.
"Nay," I replied, "I am, indeed, Robinson
Crusoe, as I will show you presently, but
I marvel greatly at the speed with which
we travel and that you have no fear lest
the horses being out of all control"-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—--
"Hold on," he said. "Did you ever hear
of a railway train?"
+
Crusoe: "Never."
G. Rats: "Oh, my sacred aunt! Well,
you're all right. It's not horses. It's quite
safe, and takes you to London. See?"
Crusoe: "I am in England, then?”
G. Rats: "Guessed it first time. Now tell
me how you got out of the asylum."
Crusoe: "I got out of no asylum, but
from a desolate island where I have lived
for upward of a hundred years.
"Here is my parrot. Here is my belt,
containing many pieces-of-eight (Althy
dross) that I brought out of the wreck
and increased by my commerce.
"Here is my coat of goatskin, which I
made with my own hands, though but a
poor botch, seeing that I am no tailor; and
the rest of my clothes I found lying in 4
heap on the seashore near to the point
where I landed in my raft"
G. Bats: "Dear me! This appears to be
in the nature of a fair knock-out. But, my
dear fellow, that belt's too heavy for you.
Let me carry it, wont you?"
Crusoe “Nay, it is but a' miserable drug,
and many a time would I have exchanged
It for a piece of fair white bread. Yet,
such as it is, I will bear with it. And I
will gladly tell you or my history, taking
In return of your advice, for all things here
bare strange to me, but first let me know
what manner of man I am speaking, for
have told me no more than that your
name is Bats."
****
G. Rats: "Very well, then, my name is
Rats so far as you are concerned; my em-
ployers think it is Davis; I think it is
Wilkinson, and the police think It is Man-
delbaum. What matter? I am a philoso-
pher, and have several inexpensive pleas-
ures, and am at present suffering from
thirst. Now, then, next, please."
At my parrot hopped forward and,
Wag now a better heart as it saw the
stranger thus well disposed, gave a selec-
tion from its repertoire. (Fun, without
vulgarity. Original. For concerts, Masonic
banquets, etc. Seaside offers for August
invited)
A
t
}
To this George Rats listened with ex-
treme attention, calling upon his sacred
aunt; and afterwards I told him some-
what of my many adventures, viz.: how
I encountered a cannibal by a lake of
fresh water, which he forbade me to ap-
proach, and how I put down the black and
afterwards took the entire pool; moreover,
how I found the plant which I have called
the Methusela'a plant, and by chewing of
Kas leaves become possessed of the Secret
of Eternal Middle-age; and many other
things which I cannot here set down more
particularly.
He listened, and said that it was really
rather discouraging for him, that he had
tried to do a little in that way himself, but
that he was absolute George Washington as
compared with me, and that I was monu-
mental and no one above me, and words to
describe me were impotent things, much of
which was at this time quite incomprehen-
sible to me.
And, after some period of reflection, he
asked if he might be permitted to look at
one of those gold coins that I carried in
my belt.
So I proffered him one and he
examined it closely, turning it about in his
| hands, and then very honestly returned it
to me, asking if I had many such.
I answered that of these I had some eight
score, and also a small wedge or ingot of
gold. ·
And he kept silent for a while, and then
observed that it was not in the nature of
man to know his luck, which luck he might
go to seek and never find, and at another
time might come bumping up against i̟t în a
regular surprise packet..
4
But now this George Rats leaned back in
his seat, and made as if he would fall
asleep, and this I was by no means minded
that he should do.
---
.1

So I recalled to him that I had the great-
est need of his advice and instruction, for I
was in my own country, as if it had been a
foreign land, so many changes having taken
place and so much that was new and fan-
tastic having been introduced during the
many years that I had stopped peacefully
on my desert island.
Kayly tak
LV4
"Quite so, my dear fellow," says he most
genially. "While you have been stopping
civilization has been going on. I have
studled civilization with a view to making
a little for myself, and I have experience
as a teacher and I have a certain amount
of leisure. I can guide you, guard you,
sleep you, board you. But there is one lit-
tle point, my dear Mr. Crusoe, that pos-
sibly from delicacy you have neglected to
mention-I refer to the question of terms.
So I offered him one or my gold pieces
per diem to take, as well the entire ex-
pense as the teaching of me, to which in a
short while he agreed, saying that he could
but try it.

"Now," said I, "for the manner of this
teaching. I pray that it may be duly or-
dered according to the letters of the alpha-
bet. Teach me, then, first those things that
begin with A; and on another day those
that begin with B; and thus onward that
all may be done property and with good
method."
"Yes, my dear fellow"-for so he was
commonly wont to address me-"I grasp
the idea. First lecture on Acetylene-gas,
Aerated-waters, Appendicitis. Second lec-
ture, Bicycles, Booms, Bilking. I will jot,
thèse down on my cuff-lest we forget, lest
we forret! To be followed by a discourse
on the Cake-walk, Christian-science and the
Confidence-trick. Likewise, Dynamos, De-
The
stroyers and Defensive-declarations.
idea is limitless, but I have no more cuff at
my disposal. Excellent. We begin to-mor-
row."
I was fain to know why he put all these
subjects in groups of three, and he told me
that three and seven were numbers which
had in them something that especially at-
tracted.
"For example," he said, "when sentence
is pronounced upon you, you will probably
find that the judge will give you three
years or seven years. But, however, my
dear Mr. Crusoe, we are now nearing Lon-!
Jon.
I
!
"Permit me, as your mentor, to observe
that your appearance would suggest to the
trained" intellect of our London police that
you had sneaked a motor car and the own-
er's coat, and had incontinently driven
bang through a dust cart into a bird fan-
Brian
KING
KALUY
Silfurzai
Wight Is
Bus
cler's, coming away with what happened to
stick to you. Put your parrot in- some
place of
Sinuch of Sealment, and brush off as
Illmil
WE EN you can. Thank you.
Now, then, we eva stopping. We get out.
You stick close to me, do as I do, and say
nothing."
And I greatly bewildered by the noise
and confusion about me, found no better
course than to do as he had said.
So presently he guided me into a great
room, where there were many eating and
drinking, but for the most part drinking,
There he took two large drams, and I drð
as he did.
After this we got into a carriage, com
modious enough for the purpose, which hạ
told me was in the vulgar parlance called a
four-wheeler; and when I asked him what
the reason for that might be he answered
that it was because the Emperor of Tian-
buctoo's aunt once rode in one,
#
“And what," I asked, "do people of a
superior quality and education call them?”
"They don't," he said. "They never call
them-they whistle them. At least the but-
ler tells the footman to whistle one, when
one of the roans is in bed with arthritis
and the master has been driving the motor
car all by himself. Crusoe, my dear fellow,
zo gently with these questions. Don't, don't
tempt me."
After a while, our carriage or four wheel-
er, now going more slowly by reason of
other vehicles that impeded it, this George.
Rats softly and stealthily opened one of the
doors and bade me to do as he did; he
then jumped out and began to run at a
…

O
rebatung fashion."
“Moreover, he fired a man to come in and out my hair after the prevailing
Malam
ܐ ܐ

"Freat pače, I Tollowing him; and after
many turnings he came presently into
garden, and so to the house where he lived
"This "eemed to me to be a fine house, as
well be reason of
fason of its extent as by the rich-
ness and convenience of those things with
which it was furnished, and here I took oc-
casion to askE George Rats if peradventure
the man who drove this carriage or four-
wheeler for us had not expected to receive
some payment in money or kind, also if
our manner of leaving him had not been
somewhat unceremonious,
fri
"He
“No, my dear fellow, sald Rata
drove that cab đôr the pure love of the
thing, Art for it's sake. Of course wa
might have kissed him good night, but it is
not consideréd essential.”!
These three months that I was with tiế
man George Rats were so filled with mies
fortune and some of it of a shameful.
kind-and brought me in the end to such
a pitch of misery and destitution, that
though by his teaching I did at last grasp
the essentials of civilization, so that I
could carry myself attingly in the pres-
ence and company of strangera, yet by
reason of my suffering and humiliation at
that time, as well as from my own ig-
norance and want of natural adroitness as
from misfortune.
7
X
lao
Te
am not minded to well apon this per-
at any great length, nor would I in-
deed set it down in any manner at all if
it were not that it might be of some help
and convenience to them that come after
me by way of a sharp warning and ad-
monition.
1
*-
We did not much persevere in the lec-:
tures on civilization after the order of the
alphabet, and that for two reasons. Firstly,
because George Rats, though useful to me
at other times, seemed, when he began to
lecture, to be anxious rather to bewilder
than to enlighten.
So I arranged with him that there should
be no more lectures, but that I would learn
from him in our ordinary talk and as occa-
ion should arise.
To all of this George Rats readily con-
sented. Moreover, he hired a man to come
in and cut my hair and beard after the
prevailing fashion; and of clothes he got
me great store, such as the frock-coat, the
silk-hat, the fancy-vest, the high-collar,
and other things all
very proper.

"He guided me into a great room where there were many eating and
drinking, but for the most part drinking. There he took two large
drams, and I qid as he did.”
But this made sad
havoc wita the money
in my belt, three
great pieces of gold
going to the hair-cut-
|
ter alone; but George
Rata told me that
this was the usual
price.
So now I began to
go about the streets
- of London, sometimes
by myself, but more
often with my friend
and mentor, and
though I often lost
my way or
or took a
wrong 'bus, yet by
asking a policeman
and saying I was
from the country, as
George Rats advised,
I always returned in
the end to the house
in Putney, of which
George was taking
፡
care.
+
This was indeed a
fine house and well
provided with all
things needful, SO
that I knew not why,
though many came to
see it, none was will-
ing to purchase or to
pay a rental And at
first I supposed that
the owners asked too
much, but
George
Rats said that this
was not so.
•
Moreover, he added
that he liked the
house himself, and
that it was a strange
coincidence that when-
ever he liked a housa
of which ho had been
appointed the care
taker it was ever long before that house serve on the vanity of the human mind
was let
that would aspire to unravel the mysteri
ous purposes of destiny: this he admitted,
of George Rata were also a bit on the dark
but gave me to understand that the ways
side, and of the truth of that I was soon
to have proof enough and to spare.
Somehow or other everybody who came
to see it seemed to get the idea that the
last occupants had perished of the fever.
On learning this I took occasion to ob-
ANA
}
CHAPTER V.
Discouragement of His Plan to Profit by His Secret of Eternal Middle Ag
Afterwards came one of those strange
1
HAVE already told that I wished to
have some more certain informa-
tion on the subject of cocktails, of
which I knew no more than that I had seen
the name in the news-sheet that I studied
diligently every evening, aud I asked
George Rats if these were used for the pur!
poses of adornment by females or how oth-
erwise.
lapses of memory that have occurred to me
at other times, and are not, I take it,
without their meaning. Next day I began
to keep a journal, of which I shall here
give you the copy as long as it lasted.
JUNE 20.-Violent pains in my head, and
feverish. Some discourse with George Rate
on the defects that I find in civilization,
notably cocktails, also upon lapses of
And at first he only sighed deeply and
said that he supposed it had to be. Then
he bade me put on my hat and come out
with him that I might receive what he
called an object lesson in the subject.
I speak only from the best of my recol-
lection and bellef, but I think we had sev-
eral lessons.
I know that I found that there were
many kinds of cocktail, and that each kind
admitted of many slight changes, as the
judgment of the operator or the quality of
his liquors varied.
And afterwards my mentor led me into
a great building, where a music was being
played, but that with so little heartiness
that an old sea-ballad coming to my mind,
I would have given them a taste of it.
#f
inta the Fulham R
Vo
***
イ
​memory.
I had a
June 21.-But little better, and · filled
with the most dreadful apprehensions of
my sad. condition, to see my stock of money
go rapidly vanishing, nor any means to
make more. Thought upon a return to the
seafaring Hfe.
June 22.-Took my gun, but found myself
very weak. Went into the Fulham Road
and shot a couple of motorists, but could
eat nothing.
t
June 25.-The parrot.is missing. It did
not appear at breakfast this morning, and
that its
a further examination showed
perch had not been slept on. Only yester-
day it observed that there was practically
A
i


* by In Putney, and that 15-1 thou
It was going to mix itself up with a lot of
geons I was much mistaken. Fear thäl
reproof may have touched it somewhat
too deeply, but even so cannot understand
why the usual month's notice was not
given. Very low in spirit all this day.
June 26, 27, 28, 29.-Continued my
search for the parrot, but to no purpose.
Much broken by this loss gad by my ap-
prehensions for the future.
Junë 80.—Made count of all that I pos
sess, and my mind is Alled with misgivings.
This is indeed a sorry pass to which a man
should be brought that was once an Em-
peror, though but of a desert island. Pon
dered much on the mutability of human for
tunes, speculating if this might not be
some sort a punishment for neglected op
portunities. Resolved to study the coinage
and market prices of this country, to see
whether or not George Bats bas dealt hon-
estly with me, Had some little conversa-
tion with him this evening as to a further
project of mine, as here set down :
12
You
wunsc
*
瘻​ので
​Crusoe: "I have resolved that I must
make money,”
Rats:
"It's really not worth while. As
a rule, the gang that passes it for you
either blackmails you or gives you away,
A friend of mine"-
Crusoe: "You misappréhend me. Sinful
wretch though I am, I would have nothing
to do with the manufacture of base coin,
But I have a project to make an honorable
profit for myself by selling my great dis-
covery-the Secret of Eternal Middle-Age;
and in this matter I propose to make you
my agent, as having the greater knowledge
of affairs, recompensing you in proportion
to the sum that I receive."
Rats: "Crusoe, my amiable but irrespon-
sible Robinson, it won't do. I admit that
I am an incomparable salesman. I once
sold a German concertina to a man who
had lost both hands in a colliery ex-
plosion and disliked music. I can sell the
most improbable things. I can sell coals
to Newcastle and ships to the Swiss. But
there are two things I would never dare
to tackle-oue is a part-paid copy of the
Encyclopedia Britannica and the other is
the Secret of Eternal Middle-Age.

P!
O
Ra
George as softly and stealthily opened one of the doors and bade me do as:
he did he then jumped out and began to run at a very great pace, I fol
lowing him."
ཆ“
"No, sir. Ask nothing more of me,
sweet; all I can give thee, I give. Half
pay for the ladies, and we charge all
bad nuts. But there must be some limit.
You must, understand, my poor untutored
savage, that you've butted into the
front end of the twentieth century, and
that therefore you cannot sell eternal life
in sixpenny packets-no, not if you were
to put a silver plated buttonhook in every
third packet. If you want to sell that
secret there is but one market for you-
go back to that place from which you have
apparently escaped, and try the other pa-
tients."
I
I
t
Crusoe: "This is not the first time that
you have proposed that I suffer from
some disorder in my intellects. Yet the
story that I have told you is neither more
nor less than the truth; and the evidence
lies in those gold coins in my belt, of
which the superscription"-
: Rats: "True, I admit the coins, and
I cannot explain them. I do not attempt
it. I do not ask to see the distant
scene; one step enough for me. The coins
are handy, and I do my best by civility,
low prices and strict attention to business
'to merit some share of them. But that
does not make me suppose that you will
exist for all time, and always be middle-
aged. I could more easily believe that
you always have been middle-aged and
were born middle-aged; in fact, that seems
not improbable."
!
Crusoe: "But, Mr. Rats, we wander
somewhat from our point. You endeavor
to dissuade me from every scheme which
I form toward an honest livelihood, but
you
When
last coin is expended, as it must needs be
In a few days, and I have no longer the
wherewithal to pay you for my board and
lodging and instruction, what then?"
Į
Rats: "Then, my dear Robinson, I shall ·
feel that in parting from you I am parting
from a true friend.
friend. Wherever you go,
whatever career you may elect to pursue,
my best wishes will go with you. And if
ever success and wealth should attend you,
be not ungrateful."
We then took a dram of some cordial,
and went to bed. I confess that I was
not unmoved by the generous and nobla
tone of some part of his conversation.
June 81, 32, 33.-Spent
33. Spent the
whole
of these days in the study of accounts and
¦ charges, making many inquiries privily,
} and now have but little doubt that this
George Rats is a most treacherous, scurvy
knave and villain.
Here my journal breaks off, and I must
trust to memory.
1
J
من
↓
:

H
"Of clothes he got me great store, such
as the frock coat, the fanoy vest, the
high collar and other things all very
proper."
11

にこ
​SAM LOYD'S
VAUDEVILLE PUZZLE
Co
22
1
Pute
√35
A
THOUSAND
PRIZES FOR
CORRECT
ANSWERS.
17
Robinson Crusoe, assisted by his man Friday, is explaining the cannibal dance.
Friday must begin at No. 1 and hop on all of the footprints. He is not allowed to
skip any of the footprints, but must follow the dotted lines from No.1 to No. 17. A
thousand puzzle books will be given as prizes for correct answers to this puzzle.
Number the footprints in the order Friday hops on them, and mail your solution to
P. O. Box 1551, New York City. The answer to this puzzle will be found in ext
Sunday's Editorial Section.
4
one TuR
strange expression changes his
arance.
The doctors-and there was a host of thing that he saw a tre qu
them-declared the
sed this strange, freakish con- frightened at something they possibly had gare became almost crazed herself. "I have way.
children had been ning away at every opportunity, Mrs. Le boys burrowing under and
e children's mentality seems a seen a noise, perhaps, that they heard in felt at times," she says, "as though I would netting the children can poke
Through the aperture
the old house. But that was as far as die of fear at what they would do next. I and sometimes for days they
ago both lads were as bright they would go. The affliction was evidently never can tell what is going to happen."
l as any children of their age. beyond their understanding. For weeks
ed about the streets with the the agonized mother carried her children pied was insufficient to keep the growing of the two. It was found
Realizing that the home they then occu-
and grin at the people passin
Charles, the younger, is th
eedom. All the healthy desires from one institution to another,
to another, vainly family, the Legares moved to the little since to provide a heavy

Way to Make
to Make Your Husband
DAYS character seems to be re- kindness practised, good deeds done in
led by every feature of one's secret, or in public, for that matter make
siognomy-by the eyes, the nose, happiness for ourselves as well as for
and a hundred other things. But others.
with whom I was talking recently
ch better way, and it is without
d rules or a scientific chart,
the character of a man's wife,"
and I will tell you the kind of
ith more accuracy than hand-
erts or astrologers."
t has never occurred to you
the "human animal"-to use
legitimate term, although an
essing one-is so necessarily a
who enjoys the company of
t almost his every word and
direct influence on those with
sociates.
that a word once spoken never
it sets in motion sound-waves
on forever. In a similar way
we told yesterday and the
we uttered to-day have made
on the life of those who
ús. It may not be a deep
but that it will leave a mark of
is an absolute certainty.
g the facts of the case, bad
pleasant scenes," and the
other happenings which are
the twenty-four hours of a
e justified. They are "ruled
99
to use a legal term. But
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·
Nowhere is this more evident than in the
family circle. A wife who appears at the
breakfast table with a cheery word brings
sunshine to the heart on the most dismal
morning, and sends her husband to his
business with the comforting knowledge "feed the beast" at stated intervals that
Some women seem to think that if they
that there is at least one person in the is the only way to keep a man's love and
world who is interested in his well-being. to make him sweet-tempered. True, it may
A woman who comes down from her room keep his love, but it will not keep his
at the last moment, untidy and unkempt, respect, which is an even more important
is not acting fairly to the one who supports possession. If husband and wife were just
her. He goes away with a sense of dis- every day chums in the highest and deepest
comfort hanging about him, and faces the sense of the word, there would be an end
world in that "don't care" attitude which to every matrimonial problem, and the
has lost many a man a good position and judges whose unpleasant duty it is to settle
❤
Mo
•
his
sent him on a downward course.
in his parents' home, but it is perfected in
The making of a good husband may begin
own household, and by his wife.
Children may influence him, but in a much
less degree. The hand that rocks the
cradle still rules the world-her husband's
world.
Sunday American-Journal-Examiner Pattern, No.
PLEATED DRESSING
P. O. I
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If you are careful to w
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patterns will not be exchan
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INT
American-Journal-Examiner pattern series,
and will be sent by return mall to any ad-
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Each pattern is accompanied by complete
directions for cutting and fitting.
Good-Temp
the disputes of those who I
forced to take
"love and cherish" each of
long vacati
their services to the unray
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To obtain one of the patterns and the
directions mentioned above, just fill in the
blank below and mail, enclosing ten cents
in money or stamps to
Size.
AINTY
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simplicity is expressed in
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The mode is characterized by rare neatness
120
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4
.Bust.
AMERICAN-JOURNAL-EXAMINER PATTE
Name...
Street and Number.
City and State..
of ours are dying for wan
The husbands and wives of
more than for lack of affect
terą. People who live bey
A pitiful source of trouble
come can never be happy.
couples have proved the trut
ment in the school of experi
without of the unnecessar
does not mean stinginess,
people pull together in the
ducing luxuries, the result
wife means a happy husban
True happiness is of the
a matter of dollars and ce
piness all round and all the
PLEATED DRESSING SACQUE.
N
A Few Rules On How to Be P
F
IRST-Remember that a good voice is Fifth-Be amiable. You 1
essential to self-possession, as good dictive nature under a po)
ideas are essential to fluent language. a time, as a cat masks its
The voice should be carefully trained and velvet fur, but the least pr
developed. A full, clear, flexible voice is out one as quickly as the
one of the surest indications of good breed- natured people are always
Sixth-Be sensible. Soci
Y
depth in the front and extend to the waist, Second-Remember that one may be witty for fools, and what you c
popular, voluble without tertaining nonsense máy
a belt of the same material holding the ful-without being
ness in place around the waist. The elbow being agreeable, a great talker and yet a upon as very tiresome folly
sleeves in the design shown are finished by great bore.
Seventh-Be cheerful.
turned-back cuffs, but full-length sleeves
Third-Be sincere. One who habitually to render other people mi
may be substituted if desired, as the pat- sneers at everything not only renders her- long face and dolorous to
tern provides for both.
self disagreeable to others, but will soon you will be generally avoid
For a 36 inch bust measure 34 yards cease to find pleasure in life.
Eighth-Above all, bė
be
22
Mounth Do- £non 1.
A Luomi-

Synopsis of Preceding Chry
HAVING discovered the secret of perpetual middle age which accounts for his present.
hale and hearty condition and undiminished love of adventure-Robinson Crusos
voyages from his desert faland on a frait raft with a leg of mutton sall, accompanied
by his parrot. He at length sights land and disembarks on a beach thronged by
white people who seem civilized, but whose dress and manners are strange to him.
His coat of goat skin seeming to attract undesirable attention, he appropriates certain
garments which he finds neatly folded on the beach, whereupon he is pursued by a
violent and hostile native, but takes to his heels. After an exciting chase and several
hairbreadth escapes, he enters one of several oarious "linked cabins" and conceals him-:
under a sest. Presently there is a fearful Jolt, he hears a voice outside calling,
Londen only !" and perceives that the linked cabins are moving rapidly. A fellow.
Tugitive concealed beneath another seat emerges and inquires who he is, and in resi
sponse to a truthful reply, remarks, "Rats." On being asked if he has any other
name, the stranger admits freely that his friends call him George.
From his strange fellow-traveler Crusoe learns that he is in England, on a rail-
way train, approaching London. In return for certain of the gold pleces in Crusoe's i
belt the stranger agrees, to instruct him in the ways of civilization. On their arrival:
in London a barber is summoned to cat Crusoe's hair, and he is fitted out with a civil-
Ized wardrobe, He lives with "G. Rats," learns many things, good and bad, sees his
gold pieces vanishing rapidly, and finally concludes that George Rats is a most treach-
erous kuave and villain.
CHAPTER VI.
Perfidious Conduct of G. Rats Leaves Crusoe in a Lamentable State.
T
HE next day, when I had breakfasted,
I determined most resolutely that
I would now denounce this George
Rats for a scheming and thieving rogue,
and would demand the return of all that
he had unlawfully gotten from me, threat-
ening him if he should refuse with the
penalties of the law, as well as with a
pearty chastisement by my own hands, and
to this end I walked out alone, as well to
Compose my mind as to settle more ex-
actly what manner of speech I would hold
with him.

But, as it befell, I wandered so far out
my right course that, though I had in-
tended to be absent but one hour, it was
Tato in the day before I returned.
Being, however, come at last to the
bolise again, I found that George Rats was
no longer there, and that an old woman,
or a most sorry and wretched appearance,
had been appointed to caretake in his
place, and she, having first inquired of me
my name, handed me a letter from George
Rats which I will here set down :
"My poor friend,


↓
This show is bust. I rather feared,
when I conducted the last lady over the
house and took such a pessimistić view of
the dminage system, that I was slightly
overdoing it, and that she might be un
principled enough to call again at the
agent's and repeat my words. This has
happened, and I have been invested with
the order of the Immediate Boot, being
barely allowed time to pack and to scribble
this brief message of fond farewell.
"If you find that the more attractive
parts of your portable property are miss-
ing, do not do me the injustice to suppose
that it was by accident I packed them
with my own things. It was that I
wished to have these trifies as a memento
of a man whose imagination I reverence
and whose inability to make anything out
of it I thoroughly despise.
"Alas, my poor Crusoe! To think that
after all your sorrows, your sermons, and
your seamanship you should be wrecked by
civilization. A desert island is your mark
and I have none to offer you. Farewell
Perhaps you have done me more good thàn
you know, like the good-natured policeman
who once held the ladder steady for me
while I stole the sheet lead off a Wes-
levan Chapel in a populous thoroughfare.
Think sometimes of me still, when the
dawn breaks and the, throstle awakes, or
as the physician may direct."
This letter was signed Eustace Hope Dat
lin, but it was plain to me, as Well'
from the penmanship as from the manner
"I Presently Found Myself Outside, With a Few Belongings Gathered Into
Bündle Under My Arm.”
f
i
:



of it, that the writer was fagorge Rais, aud
no sooner had I read it than I turned to
my room to see what loss I might have
Bustained.
**
There I found all in disorder, and noth.
ing remaining to me of all the goods that
I had acquired by lawful purchase save
only a few clothes and trifles, and these
by no means of my best.
}
[
I was overcome with grief, throwing my
self on the floor, beating my breast and cry-
Ing loudly that it had been better if I had
been drowned in Yarmouth Broads, or killed
In fight when the ship was taken by the
Sallee man-of-war; at which the old woman
that was now caretaking came in, breathing
very short and yet speaking with an in-
creditable rapidity, so that much of it es-
caped me.
However, I set down so much as I re-
member, viz., that she had had about enough
of those music-ball songs; that if she had
seen the state I was in she would have de-
nied me entrance; that some people could
not see when their room was preferred to
their company; that she had a character to
Iose, same as other people, and two sisters
in domestic service, one with a family at
Clapham and highly thought of and the
other as good as engaged to a respectable
young man as would never need to work
when his uncle died; that she would havé
the police in inside of two minutes; that
she was sure she nover dreamed of such
goings on when her poor busband was alive,
which he might have been to that day, if i
other people hadn't been so careless about ¦
Axing the stair-rods, and never even so
much as sent a wreath; and that if I would
just tell her what I took her for she would
call me a liar to my face.
Now what the bearing of this might be
as to some part of it I could not then nor
ever after determine, but it was clear that
she commanded me to go, and that imme-
diately, nor was she such a woman as one!
would lightly disobey.
I did, indeed; do my best to explain to
ber my misfortunes and the sad straits to
which I shoulch be brought if she put me
forth from the house, but to pane of this
could she be got to pay the least attention,
saying that she had heard such stories be-
fore, and, overcoming me with a flood of
words, so that I was like to hear far more
about that sister at Clapham than seemed
to me right or proper.
So, to make a long story short, I present-
ly found myself outside, with my few be-
longings gathered into a bundle under my
arm, and no immediate prospects.
I, then, being much cast down in spirits,
reflected that this ribald letter of George
Rats was not without reason when he said
that I was wholly unfitted for civilization
as it now is, for with a band of pirates, or
a man-eating tiger, or a tribe of cannibals,
I should have found no difficulty, these be-
ing no more than what I was brought up
to, but with the caretakers of civilization I
was utterly at a loss, having been robbed
by the male kind and routed with ignominy
by the female.
¬ܽܕ
Little wonder, then, that I, in so strong.
a fit of disgust as now possessed me, should
be minded to withdraw myself as well as I
might from the haunts and society of men;
and though there are in London no desert
islands, yet there are certain open spaces
which are known as the lungs of London
they were thus known also in my boyhood
a few hundred years before, and I remem-
ber that my father misliked the phrase, and
beat me for a too frequent use of it.
:
Alasi had I but taken the advice of that
good old man in Full things I had never
come to this sorta pass. But I Indulged
myself no further in this repining, and.
taking my bundle under my arms, I det
forth for Regent's Park, with the general
direction of which had been acquainted
by George Rats.
On my w
sons. I had received in, tars
How
•
not heart enough for the
very low in spirit and persuaded that I was
not sent into the world for any purpose but
to be the prey of others.
Nor did I venture to hire a cab in the
usual way, for my whole wealth was little
more than three pounds of English money,
and I was minded to husband as much as
wangible.
for the omnibus, I had grown to dis
ad at that time the Park was closed; but
this distressed me little, for I made short
work of climbing the fence, choosing a mult
ablo spot where there was, to omerve
me.
Yet for fear of the patrol, if any, I went
with the greatest caution until I had found
me a sort of thicket where I might lle
close till the morning.
There, then, having made me a bed with
boughs that I cut with my knife, and with
my bundle for a pillow, I began to be more
at my ease.
Thais resting, but not yet being disposed
to sleep, I began to review in my mind my
stock of goods, such as it was, to see if
there were anything which might be spared;
and it was my plan to sell all such things,
and with the money thus obtained to be-
take me from this island to some ferocious
and heathenish country where a man might
live with more security.
Also recalling many catalogues of deal-
ers and auctions (which had ever been the
favorite reading of George Rats) I deter-
mined to make a catalogue of my superflu-
Ities, using the right and sultable words of
description so far as I could remember
them.
•
Thus, then, I began:
One handkerchief.—Used. ·
Perfora
tion irregular and without water-mark.
Rarely offered in this stato.

Summer sult By Moses Ikestein. In-
teresting cuts. Rather spotted. Cloth,
shabby. N. D.
Largo tablespoon By accident, af-
ter dinner. Beautiful plate. Lettered,
*Cafe Carlton, Bump street, Parson's
Green."
A
ma
Small cigar.-Strawberry roan By
luck out of side show. Only needs to be
seen. Would suit nervous gentleman.
I had proceeded no further in my list
when the deep silence of the night was
broken by the most terrific sound known to
man.

↓
it was none other than the angry
of the African lion; I recognized de frame,
dlately, and beyond mistake.
are
powerless to describe my feelthge,
wards
I felt like the brutal and licentious miner
trust it, having found of late that every om
nibus took me straight to Hamme-smith,
zac I had never once wished to go; so
that I walked the whole distance, and that
as I have reason to feat,
the most
direct road.''
Fived.
focomte hymn,
Beckley though my life may have been,
Tbase always been strong on the emo
floral side-breast-beating a speciality
and now exclaiming,
It was then lɛ-
recita Clo branco phen
patetic concert..
Why, this makes it feel like home!"


I burst into Bobs of gratitude.
I remained a long tire awake, in the
hope that the lion, being in the neighbor
hood, would pay a call on me.
I felt that from the similarity of our
positions we should be sure to get on well
together.
Subsequent Inquiries showed me that he
was a prisoner In the Zoological Gardens,
which were close by, and as the price of
admission was to one in my condition pro
hibitive, I was unable to prosecute the ac-
quaintance.
TR
ISING early next morning I came
forth from my thicket and made
my way with stealth to the water-
much sgekl
Jule, and there. after much
I
CHAPT
educed to Extremity, He Hunts In the Park and Gets a Sheep.
Sada kadhaa.
hted on three eggs.
Two of these were real duck's eggs, and
the third I cannot speak more particu-
larly, as I found, on tasting it, that the
Copyright had expired.
Nor did I dare to make a fire and so
Cook them in the ashes, lest my fire should
attract human being or keep off wild ani
mals.
I also saw a swan. And how its plumi-
Thone! But when I'd got a brick
I found the bird had gone.*
o once more I went back to my hiding
and there lay until such time as
the park was opened and I might venture
to her myself; then, going forth from the
k. I came upon a milkman with his
cart and before each door he deposited a
can of his milk. And at this I burst into
tears for here (so my thoughts ran) I
had at last discovered an example of that
simple and brotherly trust which I had
thought to be now extinct among men.
Why should It not be ever thus?
Why are not cordials distributed in
similar manner?
Is man then, so debased and sunken
civilization that he can be trusted with
thing but milk and the Encyclopaedia
tannica?
s
Having beaten my breast, I then pro
ceeded to business.
However, even here my ill fortune-pur-
syed me, for just as I was drinking my
second can of milk the door before which
It had been placed suddenly opened, and a
woman appeared clad principally in what
happened to come first.
I think that never in my life did I hear
so much noise made about so little milk,
for had not left a third of a pint in the
can.
But I remembered my father's advice,
viz., to quit all unseemly brawling, and so
did not stay to discuss the matter with
her; and as her costume was such as to
prevent her from venturing beyond her
doorstep I passed quickly around the
corner.
But I now determined that ever after
this if I should have occasion to take milk
in this way Ild arst secure the handle
of the door b stout cord to some rail
or post or If there was none such, then
to the handle of the next door.
S
Thus it had always been with me since
came to this island, viz., that what one
accustomed to civilization would do with
ease and safety I did with but great risk
and difficulty
make no doubt that George Rats would
hate collected the milk all down one street
and sold it again all down the next with-
out one such unhappy altercation as had
berallen me.
I then made my way back to the park
gain, and falling into talk with the park
ceper learned much about the Zoo, though
othing to my profit; for the sum of which
One is mulcted in entrance money was more
han I could easily share, and I found that
engli I paid this sum fron bars would
uve been put up to prevent the public
geting at the llons and injuring or defraud-
Mặc tiêm.
This I could not but applaud, as well;
for its wisdom as for its generosity, for I
ninke no doubt that if such a oners as
George Rats had not been thus prevented,
He would have taken the lion's mane to
stul a sofa-cushion, removed
removed the gold
stopping from its back tooth, and secured
the serial use of its Sunday dinner for
the next three years at sacrificial blbe
V
▼
المنام
;
Yet there was little need to protect the
noor beast from me, seeing that I was
quite innocent of civilization, and only
Fanxious to be friendly, so that this talk of
park keepers did but add to my dejection.
in this state of mind, then, I sat down
In as remote a spot as I could find (not
daring to enter my hiding-place by day-
light), and there pondered upon my sitúa-
tion-to be without friends or help in a
dangerously civilized country, with ripe
guavas exceedingly scarce and the society
of lions priced far beyond my means.
But there was somewhat also to be cast
up on the other side, and, taking out my
note bank, I made out the account as foly
lowsh
EVIL
I have qutllred my
epoch and almost
forgotten my Jong-
vanished youth.
I am come to a civ-
Ilsed country, where
all is strange to me.
I am credibly in-
formed that the po-
lice are learning Ger-
uun and jiu-jitsu.
bave lost a great
art of my money.
I am a miserable
outcast, anita con-
firmed breast-beater.
T

F
GOOD.
But I outlived it
on purpose; and if I
wish to recall the
past centuries I
have the same ac
cess as others to the.
Refreshhment Room
of the British Mu-
seum.
But I should have
had more cause to
grumble if my raft
had sunk half-way,
Jet-vile wretch that
am-I should then
have grumbled, less.
But I have this
morning beard from
a lady with a peram-
bulator that if little
girlle-wirlies are
good, naughty police-
mans shan't get
them. No, shan'ty-
tanty-tant, my pre
cious. (Bis.)
But I have also
lost the whole of my
parrot.
But I migut have
been paralyzed:
chimpanzee, with no
ascertaluable system
of ethics.
:2
+
..
Now by this time my mind was much re-
lieved, for on casting all up and striking
my balance I found so near as I could tell,
that I stil We Providence about one
dollar and thirteen cents; and whereas. I
had before seen no other way by which I
might get my dinner than by going out
and paying for it, I now took fresh heart
and resolved to set my wits to work.
This was now Imperative, for I was no
longer upon a desert island, with a con-
venient wreck to serve as a General Em-
porium and morning and evening deliverles
by express tide of all goods required.
I was in a commercial centre, viz., a
place where you might not perhaps have
what you paid for, but you would certainly
have to pay for what you had.
I was the victim, too; of further rules
and regulations, all strange to me, as I
presently found, for, taking from my pocket
a kind of pipe or whistle that I had fash-
loned for my entertainment while I was
with George Rats, I had no sooner begun
upon a finished and sympathetic rendering
of the Preislled from the Meistersinger
than a park-keeper most strongly ordered
me to desist and put that damthing in my
pocket....
te
کے موم
!


This I did very obediently, reflecting on
the change from my last place, where
(pause-and then very slowly) I was mon-
arch of all I surveyed; and my right there
was none to dispute; and none interfered
when I played a thing of my own on the
flute.
For the space, then, of two hours or
more I set my wits to work, pacing the
park the while, as I have frequently found
that by a gentle exercise the processes of
the mind are somewhat. aided,
Also, I encouraged myself greatly, say.
ing
the cannibals ;|
Crusoe, you overcame
you made yourself a sea-going boat out of
an old tree and a bit of stamp-paper; you
на зиму та
covered the secret of eternal middle-age;
you wrote a moral and improving book of
adventures for the young. Now, again, you
have but to think out the means to the
end."
At the conclusion of this time my activity
of mind and body had engendered in me a
very hearty and natural appetite for food,
but had not indicated any method by which
I might obtain my dinner without paying
for ite
And at first I was reluctant to do this,
for my entire capital was but small, and
in so doing I must needs lose a part of it;
but I conquered this when I looked more
deeply into the matter, for capital is of no
avall unless it be productive of interest,
which mine at this moment was not..
►
Nay, to spend it upon my dinner was a
manner of making that capital productive
of interest in the form of renewed strength,
spirits and mental activity.
t
Mu
M
jak by me?
nav
Ke
CERR
a
مرع
want to the nearest eating-house
invested forty-three-cents.
Hon by - return I daooverud af née the
udhitonich, I had been lookiň v obtain-
ing my dinner for the future without pây-
ing for it.
'
I observed in the park a flock of theep
straying in the direction of that lose
plantation or thicket where I had lain, the
night before.
What could be simpler for me, choosing
my moment, than to make a sudden
and, dragging one of these sheep Inty
lair, to despatch it with my knife?
-
I should by this action be insuring for
the other sheep the more grass to
lessening the competition between the
them
and thus conferring no small kindness upon
their owner.
So then with no little cunning I marked
down my sheep and went after it, and t
the same time a large dog, or whose pres
ence I had been unaware, went after me.
It was an interesting event, but spoiled
by the most disgraceful uproar and con
fusion on the course.
Dog won; park-keeper and policeman
second and third. Also ran, two house.
maids, a telegraph boy and the waiter from
the refreshment kiosk.
3
オース
​•

“Two of these were real duck eggs, and of the third I cannot,
ticularly, as I found on tasting it, the copyright had
***

TRENDKING
Synopsis of tons Chapters.
NG discovered the secret of dalk
perpetual
age-which accounts for his present hale
nd hearty condition, and undiminished 107 for adventure-Robinson Crusoe voyages from
his desert island on a frail raft, with a leg of mutton sail, accompanied by his parrot He at
124th sights land and disembarks on a beach thronged by white people who seem civilized, but
Wong dress and manners are strange to him.
In retum for certain gold pieces in Crusoes's belt a stranger who accidentally acquires
the name of "G. Rats,” agrees to instruct him in the ways of civilization. On their arrival in
London & barber is summoned to cut Crusoe's hair, and he is fitted out with a civilized wardrobe.
He lives with "G. Rata," learns many things, good and bad, sees his gold pieces vanishing rapidly,
and that Rats is a
kpave and
His suspicions are verified when G. Rats disappears with Crusoe loose valuables. He is
thrown into the street by the new caretaker of the vacant house where he has lived, and is com-
pelled to lead a nomadic life in Regent's Park. Here he gets into fresh trouble through his
encrta to capture a sheep for food, being chased by a policeman, a dog and several housemaids.
CHAPTER VIII.
The Howling of Park Animals Reminds Him of Home.
Ο
F the conversation which followed I to leave the park at once, and was never to
can give no particular account, as come there any more.
One of the housemaids added with se-
verity:
during the great part of the time I
was endeavoring to disentangle myself from
the dog, and to sort out what belonged to
each respectively.
At this I walked away with no little dig-
But the main conclusion was that I was nlty; but, the boy following, and by loud
"No, nor anywhere else, neither."
and untimely remarks calling public atten-
tion to me, I had no recourse but to enter
the eating house where I had been before.
Here, theu, I invested some further por-
tion of my capital and mourned over my
sad fate and meditated upon the future,
for it was plain to me that if I were again
Ex Ma
+
gre
1
"Endeavoring to disentangle myself
from the dog."
IRIN
1

PULLE
:
ન
J
apprehended In Regent's Park I should be
like to find rough treatment.

!
Thus, then, I made my plans-viz.,
remain without the park until night
fallen, and then with all possible secrecy
*
to get me to that fair or hiding place in the
thicket where I had left my goods, and
to
hac
•
there to lle for one night and no more; and
on the next morning. so soon as it should
be light, to start off in the direction of
London Docks and to find work on some
outward bound vessel.
$
I may say at once that I never got to
London Docks at all, and in consequence
did not engage myself in the panther trade,
for which I am truly thankful, being in-
formed that there is now but little demand
for panthers or for any other wild beast
except chauffeurs.
However, so far as Regent's Park, I fol-
lowed out my plan, and made myself all
snug in my secret place with my bundle
for a pillow.
It was a warm moonlight night, and the.
howling of the hyenas in the Zoological
Gardens made it feel so much like home
that I thought with páin that I must leave
this spot on the morrow; yet I was still
resolved to do it.
Now, in my last placé I had been accus-
tomed to keep an account of time by cut-
ting notches in a piece of wood-viz., one
notch for every day and night, and this
practice I was minded to resume rather
than to trust to common report or to the
opinion of the news sheets; so before I
went to sleep I duly cut me my nas
one of the trees, reproaching myself for
having hitherto neglected it.
}
This, then, was on Saturday night, and
when I awoke I supposed it to be Sunday
morning, but in truth, as I soon found out,
I had slept through the whole of Sunday:
and it was now Monday, which was a prob-
lem I have never since been able rightly to
resolve; for there was still but one notch
on the tree, and if one notch means one
day then two days should make two notches.
I was the inore, coufirmed in my error be-
cause on leaving the park I observed that
the shops appeared to be shut, and a closer
examination revealed to me that they ap-
peared to be shut because they really were
shut; but I cannot hold it to be either
Tight or necessary that an inquirer who
rings the private bell to know whether the
shop-closure is intentional or otherwise
should have so many noxious missiles hurled
at him from the upper stories of the house.
However, by dint of many inquiries I
discovered that this was not Sunday, albeit
It was a day held sacred; and the exact
name of the saint to whom it was conse
crated I could not gather, but it sounded
to me like Bengkoldy
2
Willing though I was to conform w
with
ang local superstition so far as my con-
cience might permit, I could not set aside
my resolution to go forthwith to the Lon-
don Docks and there to engage myself
aboard some vessel for what I was worth,
or. if possible, slightly more..
Knowing, then, the many dangers that
attend the undertaking of any great enter-
RA
prise without due provision, I entered an
eating house and there broke my fast to
the extent of about two and nine-pence; But
I was sore pained to see how rapidly my
stock of money wąs
was dwindling, and
rightly or wrongly-I came to this conclu-
sion-viz., that if I continued to spend
money freely, and at the same time
neglected to make good what was spent, I
should ultimately become poorer than I was
at present.
*
M
So after breakfast I took a simple way to
ettle which was my right direction to the
cks; for, being a seafaring man myself.
knew full well that it was there that the
Fayety as well as the business of a preat
city would be chiefly centred, and I had no
more do than to observe the direction{
•
In which the greater number of people was
walking, and by following them to come
to the end of my present distressing experi
ences, and so to get free of this very un-
toward and inconvenient civilization,
My trouble was that during the Best
minute the greater number of people seemed
to be going in one direction, and that the
next minute they seemed to be going in an-
other, and that clean contrary the first.
Having, then, no other rese Ide-
termined to make my decision the spla
of a coin, a method which undead.
George Rate had frequentcused ind
generally to his own advantage
The coin Teil thena uppermost; and, as
I subsequently discovered, I lost.
CHAPTER IX.
Discovers Strange Ways of Earning a Living.
A
FTER I had trudged on foot for what
seemed to me to be a wearisome!
time, I found myself, not, Indeed,” at
the docks, but at a vast open space, cov-
ered partly with grass, but more especially
with side shows; and after much question-
ing and being frequently rebuffed and
treated with contempt, I was told in the
first place that this was Hampstead Heath,
and in the second place that I had better
go to bed and sleep it off.
Now I was correctly informed that this
was Hampstead Heath, but as to the other
matters I could only reply that I was a
simple seafaring man, with an rufortunate
tendency to shipbuilding ou no more prom-
ising material than a soap box and a blunt
pocket knife, and that having already slept
for two nights and a day I had no urgent
occasion for the present to do anything in
that direction.
4
I began then to look about me at the
great concourse of people and at those o
cupations which seemed to present to them
the greatest attractions.
In many different places a man would
set up a row of cocoanuts and Invite others
to roll, bowl or pitch. maintaining loudly
that it was habitual with him to change all
bad nuts, and that it was half-way for the
ladies.
Now the man who failed to hit a nut
suffered no more than the loss of that
small coin which was but a fair recom-
pense for a healthy, exercise accompanied
by almost unduly flattering comments from
the proprietor of the cocoanuts; but be
that was
was a good marksman received no
such), encouragement, and was moreover
compelled to take away every cocoaunt
that he hit.
10*2


Now what sort of holiday is a man likely
have who has to carry the baby in one
hand and has four cocoanuts in his only
handkerchief in the other, and uns, moré-
over, to wheel the perambulator?

But It is all one-wherever I went I saw
theme inclination to spend money on
that which was of no profit but rather of
positive disadvantage to the purchaser; so
that it occurred to me that I might make
La comfortable livelihood by offering
poke out people's eyes with a red-hot fron
at the price of six-pence a jab, money re-
turnéd if the eyesight is not entirely de-
stroyed.
to
But It is not my wont to act lightly in
such matters, nor to take a course of action
suddenly without seeking advice from
those who may be disposed to proffer it.
So I mixed myself with the men of the
booths, and indeed with all others that
were tempting the crowd of visitors to
part with their money, and professed my
readiness for a'job of any kind, and in the
meantime paid for several measures of beer
as a guarantee of good faith.
Nor. was it long before it was made clear
to me that I had taken the right couŕ--,
for I received no fewer than two offers.
The first of these was from a man who
possessed a piece of board and four or five
yards of rope, and it was his intention to
provide skipping for such ladies as might
be disposed to pay for it, "the board to be
put down for the lady to skip upon, with
himself at one end of the rope and myself
at the other, beginning slowly and ac-
celerating whenever the lady skipping
hould exclaim "Mustard!" or whenever it
hould seem to us that she had nów had
sufficient for her money.
-
3
!
Accelerating whenever the
lady skipping should ex- \
claim Mustard!"
1
The price charged to skip was to be one
halfpenny, and one halfpenny in every
twenty was to be my remuneration; which,
when I had reflected upon it, did not
Iseem to be sufficiently. good, involving as
it did a vast amount of bodily exertion
with but small reward for the labor.
The other offer came from a man who was
the owner of a very good booth, with pict-
ures on it, and of a large gong to beat on
tire outside of it, in order to attract the
public.
•
I, myself, had I heard so fearsome a noise,
would have removed myself as far from it
as might be; but, as I have already ob-
served, on Hampstead Heath nothing at-
tracts so much as that which might rea-
sonably be supposed to repel.
All that was required of me was that I
should be the savage and semi-human anl-.
mal discovered by an eminent explorer in
an island of the Pacific, as pictured on the
outside of the booth.
i
·
He explained to the that the wild man
whom he generally employed had had the
› misfortune to begin his Bengkoldy a little
too early, and was now serious trouble
in consequence of a young copper from the
country being unable to let bygones be b5-
gones.
1
What this might mean I knew not, but it
seemed that my duties would be light; in
the first place I was to assume a robe com-
posed principally of rabbit skins aud to dƒe
those parts of me which were exhibited 15
the public a deep and unconvincing brown.
I was to growl considerably.
I was to show how I had been trained tơ
use a knife and fork. And I was to måke
a realistic pretence of flying at the throat
of anybody who said that the show was
not an adequate return for the two-pence
paid for admission.
I was to receive the proceeds of one show
in every four, and indeed this was a very
good-natured, honest fellow, and I agreed
at once that I would work for him.
If he had a fault-or, as perhaps I should
say, if he had 'one fault more than another-
ft was that he was soon tired; so that by
4 in the afternoon he said that he was not
Inclined to press the matter any further
that day and that there was a medium in
everything, and that he had never been a
hog for work at any time.
It may have been from madvertence, but
be stopped the performances just at that
point when the profits of the west perform-
ance would have gone to myself; but of
this for ebore to complain; for I had re-
ceived no less than three shillings and elgut-
pence, which was more than sufficient for
my daily needs, and, moreover, he said that
he would be running the show again in two
days' time, and would employ ime further.
Having then still some part of the day be
fore me, mingled with the crowd and
watched, with curiosity the way in whicd
they paid out money for different forms of
torture. But what was my amazement as I
pursued less frequented path to find my
self suddenly confronted by the form of
wy second wife.
!

+
From the emphasized freshness of her
complexion and the canary colored tint of
her hair it was plain to me that while I
was discovering the secret of eterual mid-
die-age, she had discovered the secret of
eternal youth.
•
I felt that I could not be mistaken, even
after the lapse of years, in those loved feat-
ures. With one loud cry of rapture I dung
my arms about her neck, not perhaps tak
ing sufficiently into account that she was
being accompanied by a particularly large
and well-fed soldier.
Then, indeed, a strange and awful thing
befell me. Try as I would, it was impossible
to explain it away.
It filled my whole belag with horror, so
that I shuddered throughout my frame and
was like to fall prone on the ground. Brief-
15 Just at that moment I felt, with au al-
nfost painful distinctness, the print of a
Luman foot.
مهم

*..*
MA
M
I FLED TO A
PART
OF
Da
98214
THE
W
DESOLATE
HEATH
X
RATD
1
*
Synopsis of Preceding Chapters.
HAVING discovered the secret of perpetual middle age-which accounts for his present hale and
his
hearty condition and undiminished love of adventure-Robinson Crusoe voyages from
desert. island on a frail raft with a leg-of-mutton sail, accompanied by his parrot. He at length
eights land and disembarks on a beach thronged by white people who seem civilized, but whose
dress and manners are strange to him. His coat of goat skin seeming to attract undesirable a1-
tention, he apropriates certain garments which he finds neatly folded on the beach. whereupon
After an exciting chase
ho is pursued by a violent and hostile nallre. hut takes to his heels.
and several hairbreadth escapes, he enters one of several curious linked cabins and conceals
himself under a seat. Presently there is a foarful folt, he hears a voice outside calling, "London
A fellow-fugitive concealed
only" and perceives that the linked cabins are moving rapidly.
beneath another seat, emerges and inquires who he is, and in response to a truthful reply. re-
marks. "Rats, On being asked if he has any other name, the stranger admits freely that his
friends call him George.
··
From his strange fellow traveller Crusoe learns that he is in England, on a railway train. ap-
proaching London. In return for certain of the gold pieces in Crusoe's belt, the stranger agrees
to instruct him in the ways of civilization, On their arrival in London a barber is summoned to
learns
out Crusoe's hair, and he is fitted out with a civilized wardrobe. He lives with "G. Rats.
Avally concludes that
many things, good and bad, sees his gold pieces vanishing rapidly, and
George Rats is a most treacherous knave and villain.
10
He is
His suspicions are verified when G. Rats disappears with Crusoe's loose valuables.
thrown into the street by the new caretaker of the vacant house where he has lived, and is com-
peled to lead a romantic life in Regents' Park. Here he gets into fresh trouble through his
efforts to capture a sheep for food. being chased by a policeman, a dog and several housemaids.
Crusoe now decides that a seafaring life is best for him. He sets off to find the docks and
& ship in need of his services, but the crowd in the street. all moving in one direction, bear
He
him out to Hampstead Heath, where he discovers many strange ways of making a living.
accepts the offer of a sideshowman to exhibit him as a "Ravage and semi-human animal día-
covered by an eminent explorer in an island of the Pacifio," during which engagement he ex-
pies in the crowd the form of his "second wife." But when he embraces her joyously he is set
upon fiercely by her companion, "a particularly large and well-fed soldier."
**

S
O far as I could gather from what ine
woman said. I had been misled by a
remarkable facial resemblance, and
she was not, nor ever had been, my second
wife.
*
CHAPTER 'X.
Robinson Crusoe Loses
>
There were also a few things that the
soldier sald, but what the soldier said is
not evidence.
It was in rain that I endeavored to
comfort myself with the belief that 1 might
be mistaken, and that what I had felt was
not Indeed the print of a buman foot.
The propiletor of the establishment ask.
ed me if were going to the test match,
Such was my horror that I forgot to re- but on my telling him that I was going to
turn to the man in whose employment I the Decks, he gave me very good and care-
had been, and, therefore, neglected to dis- ful advice as to the station to which I
cover at waat spot I should meet him two saould go and the train which I should
days later for the renewal of my engage- take.
ment.
*
I fled to some desolate part of the Heath.
where I might hide myself from all civilized
people.
*
His Job.
tomed. In fact, I was on the point of beat-
ing my breast again when I remembered
that I had already done it.
I therefore contented myself with ex.
claiming taat I was of all men the most
miserable.
Presently, having bought a newspaper,
I found that its contents were almost en-
tirely about this same test match.
Also in the train men talked of nothing
Beating my breast,
my breast, as usual. I asked else, and were divided into two classes-
myself why I had not gone to the Docks, those who were going to the test match
I intended, and why I had come to and those that would have been going to
lampstead Heath, which had formed no the test matca if they could have got away.
part of my plan.
Hearing, then, so much about it, and see-
ing of what rast importance it must be, I
I was filled wita despair at the bare idea
of aimug even for another day among determined that I would yet delay one day
a Christian and civilized people. I was no
match for them.
Had I not been chased even as a wild
beast by the young man with the gold-rim-
med spectacles?
and see this same test match myself, and
with a few inquiries I found the place
where it was held, and after trying three
separate and distinct ways of getting in
for nothing, gave up the struggle and paid
my shilling.
Had I not been robbed by George Rats?
Had I not been rebuked by the Park-
keeper, bitten by a dog, insulted by à tele-
graph boy, and now kicked by a soldier?
I revised with great care my account as Had I but taken the advice of my good
to the good and the evil that I had re- father and not been led astray by a foolish
ceived from my adventures in tals island, desire for an adventurous life, my educa-
and, with every desire to be fair, destiny tion had been greatly bettered and I had
seemed to me to be now the best part of found nothing to perplex me in such words
sovereign in my debt, with very little as stymied, or yorker, or singleton, or forty-.
chance that I should ever get the money. love.
Tremained then in my hiding place until As it was, for a while I did not even
the morning, sleeping but little and very know how to describe that which I saw so
downcast, but resolved that I would now as easily to be understood; for when I
get away as soon as might be, and after said somewhat of that player who was
a brief spell before the mast, trust to the throwing the ball, the man next to me said
usual shipwreck to tarow me up on some that the player was not throwing, though
desert island where nothing more danger- his action was a bit funny, but that he
ous than a mad and homicidal tiger was was bowling all right.
likely to be found.
bf
Bitterly did I regret my mistake in leav-
which I had become accus
At dawn then I made my way into the
village of Hampstead, and after long wait-
ing found a place where I could get me
some breakfast.
*

I will begin, taen, as best I may, to
put down an account of this test match,
though with many misgivings.
↓
Now, these shades of meaning may well
baffle a plain seaman, for so long as you
hit the man at whom you bowl or throw,
!
what matter whether you throw or bowl;
and that it does not matter may clearly
be heard stated in all places where there
are cocoanuts.
And this thrower or bowler, being a good
stout fellow, did bit his man three times:
and the other, though armed with a dat
cudgel with which I would have given no
mean account of myself. attempted on re-
prisals but slunk off in a faint-hearted
way to the bullding near at hand to take
.corer, the stout thrower disdaining to pur-
sue one of so wretched a spirit.
4
And afterward when I sought for more
Information, those standing by began to
Taugh loudly, and told me many lles, as I
suspect, and used blasphemous language.
*
Also, I had no materials that I might
write down at the time what I saw, and
am thus driven to depend on my own mem-
..oly.
·
•
However, I hare now made a careful
study of all the sporting and athletic news
that I can find lu the papers, so that at
the least it will be found that I do use
the right terms and phrases, also I have
used the names of those players which I
saw were highly spoken of, as being the
most likely to have been present; and if
I should assign to one some feat of skill
or courage which properly belonged to an
other, I can only express my regret, with-
draw the statement, deny publication, and
plead that the words did not bear the
meaning imputed to them, and that they
were fair to comment on a matter of public
interest.
After some slight delay at the starting
gate the kangaroos kicked off with two
all-round cannons and a grand screw-back.
Z. doubled, and Y., his partner, led the
eight of hearts.
This might have been dangerous, but,
unfortunately, Mr. Balfour foozled his
approach shot and Wallace gatherer the
ball and dropped it over the cross-bar.
Flist blood for the 'Spurs.
Play was now. transferred to the enemy's
country, and for a time things looked black
indeed; Edge was
was suffering from tyre-
troubles, Diamond Jubilee showed, temper
and was warned by the referee, while Peal
received a nasty
a nasty right hook on the jaw
which dazed him for a time, and let him
in for a lot of punishment.
Mr. Dalton's masterly finesse in clubs
just saved the odd trick, the appeal for
1.b.w. being disallowed.
+
Roberts assisted with several neat runs
of nursery cannons, and mention should
also be made of Hackenschmidt's forcible
display in the Graeco-Roman style,
At this point a regrettable incident oc
curred, Cotter being fined for exceeding the
speed limit. Evidence was given by two
constables that they had timed the ball
over a measured distance of twenty-two
yards, one constable being provided with a
three-and-sixpenny American, alarm-clock of
his mother's that went nearly as well as
ever it did while the other relied upon a
sand apparatus, more generally used to time
the boiling of an egg, with a pocket sun-
dial as collateral evidence.
The magistrate said he had no choice
but to convict.
Anybody who had placed his face. Im-
mediately in the way of that ball might
have been hurt, and for that reason a
technical offence had been committed.
It had been open to defendant to plead
either Infancy, or the Gaming Act, or un-
due influence; but he had not done so,
The luncheon
and this was significant.
Interval was then taken.
On the resumption of play, Armstrong
and the leg theory were tried with múch
success. but when fifty-one short of his
points he missed a long losing hazard, and
Leander, spurting magnificently, arrived
at-Doncaster, 19 minutes ahead of the sched-
ule time.
Tebigorin replied with Q-QRS, and then
running by himself, beat the goal-keeper
with a long, low shot. but in his turn suc-
cumbed to a back-band smash from Ma-
hony.
The/ match at this time point looked a
fairly even thing.
but
gallant little
Wales bad yet to be
reckoned with...

:
Bosanquet, with a bon;
zoline ball and a little help
from the ground. proved ab-
solutely unplayable, except by.
Kubelik, who gave a faultless
rendition of the Tarantella in six-
ty-five flats and no charge for acci
dents.
:
With the advent of Clement Hill, how.
ever, Bosanquet, in an ill-judged moment.
exchanged the benzolige ball for a Haskell
·
ܐܢ
and an old kulfe, a fact of which the great
left hander was not slow to take advant
age, and a long run
resulted in another score for the touch-line
**
the All-Blacks.
The Fick was entrusted to General Booth,
who failed to convert but jumped the
bunker with his second shot, and was a
length alread under Hammersmith-bridge,
All was over, but the shouting. Z de
clared a desperation no trumper, but found
no support in his pertrer, and after a fur-
ther contribution of 251 from Stevenson,
stumps were drawn, leaving a well-earned
victory with the winners.
Thus ended the twenty-sixth Test Match
under Bisley conditions.
***
So much, then, for the Derby of the
Thames, as the blue ribbon of the golfing
world is generally denominated; and I take
no little credit to myself that I, who was
but a simple seafaring man, and alto-
gether unversed in matters of this kind,
should yet be able to give a lucid and de-
talled account of every part of it without
once using a phrase that I had not some-
where or other seen before.
i
Ent to myself personally I must confess
that this same test match rapidly became
In no small degree wearisome, and I won-
dered greatly that so many men should
have such patience as to follow so monoto-
nous a pursuit for so long a time.
I doubt, indeed, if I should have re-
mained unto the end but for my discovery
of the refreshment bar, which was, indéed,
excellently well-equipped, and here I vastly
increased my stock of knowledge, ordering
always the same drink that had been or-
dered by the man next to me until the
state of my purse and other prudential
considerations compelled me to desist.
I was on the point of leaving the ground
when I felt myself lightly touched upon i
the shoulder. I turned round and beheld |
a man dressed as a clergyman and of ven-
erable aspect, with a flowing white beard.
I recognized him at once.
Crusoe once more, I believe," said he.
"George Rats, again, I fear," I replied.
"Ah he said thoughtfully, you are be
ginuing at. last to know how to express
1.
هه
yourself. I want you, my poor Robinson,
to understand that I bear you no ill-will.
You do not look as if you would be worth
cultivating. I have little more to hope
from you. I should probably do better to
address myself to some stranger of greater
wealth, who might upon one pretext or an-
other be induced to part with it. It is
hard, as the poet remarks, to part, on a
summer's night, but I have a persuasive
way with me. However, I am not a slave
to, business considerations. I am prepared
to let bygones be bygones. The few me.
*
:
meurges of you which I secured before I
last left you did not. realize anything like
the amount that I had hoped, but in spite
of all I shall bear no Ill-will.
George Rats," said, "I would leave
I
you at once but that I hope that this
change in your costume signifies a change
in your moral conduct as well. You have
|now taken orders.
F
:
No," Interrupted George Rats. “the
waiter will do that. I shouldn't have
thought of asking you to stand a drink if
you hadn't suggested It.
CHAPTER XI.
In Which George Rats Explains.

IT
T was a, characteristic of George Rats that
he always knew the right place to which
to go.
So now he condemned that refreshment
bar of which I had so far made use, saying
that he wished to get a drink for himself
and not to get poison for a cat.
•
He then led me to a small house in a
side street, having a glass door with the
word saldon upon it, into which we went.
T
The woman behind the counter was of
great stature and remarkable beauty, and
recalled to my mind my fifth wife, though
for fear of any further disturbance I fore-
bore to mention it.
George Rats, with the freedom and fa-
millarity of manner that ill-consorted with
his venerable appearance and the solemnity
of his costume, addressed this woman as
Sally.
↑
She 'in turn called him Mr. Fitzherbert,
and indeed I have noticed that it was the
habit of George Rats to' have a different
surname for every acquaintance.
·
Further. she said that she supposed that
it would be the usual. and seemed in no
way to resent the laxity of his manners.
So presently I found myself seated with
a´ good · dram of some cordial, before me,
and began by a plain question to, allay my
curiosity.
འ་
"You will remember,
remember, George Rats." I
said, "that at the time of our last meeting
you were the caretaker of a house in Putney,
and that when any came that might be dis-
posed to take the house you were in the
habit of speaking evil of the damp and the
drains, though indeed there was nothing
amiss, and this coming to the ears of the
agent that employed you, they did not hesi-
tate to send you about your business, and
to appoint another in your room.
How.comes it then that I find you now
in apparent prosperity and wrongly attired
in these clothes?
George Rats smiled sadly, and took a sip
at his glass,
My poor friend," he said, "the thing is
simple enough. When I spoke of the wrong-
ness of the drains I spoke proleptically.
(You will remember that, as I told you, I
was once & schoolmaster.) The drains were
not wrong then, but they were extremely
likely to be wrong if I met with any lis-
courtesy. The agents gave me thirty min-
utes in which to pack up my belongings
And clear out. In those thirty minutes I
not only found time to write a farewell let-
ter to you, and to pack up my belong
ings"————
"And mine,” I said.

*.
690
(019.
*Crusoe
*Crusoe once more, I believe,' said he. 'George Rats again, I fear, I replied.".
ܐܠ ܘܕܐ ܕ ܘ


Now you remind me, I believe there
Ow trifles-in my youthful enthusi
largely overestimated their values.
as I was saving I also found time to
mares, those draing really wroug, “vory
wrong ideed. In the course of a varled
career may tell you that I have also been
I
8. plumber. Atm. sent I am engaged on
varlous enterprises. To-day, like the thor-
jough sportsman, that 2 ani, I was present
at the test match, and I may say that I
was perfectly appalled at the amount of
pocket-picking that was going on.
"Yes, George Rats," I said, wealth which
is obtained by dishonesty can never —-—
Quite 80, anid George Rats. "I Saw
one man get three gunmetal watches in
succession. The price of a new gunmetal
watch ranges from five to fifteen shillings.
The second-hand article, therefore, is one
on which a man of my abilities wouid
hardly care to waste them. My
Own game
was different, und, I think, superior. I
simply went up to
best clergyman
and told him that I was from the country,
and that my purse had been stolen, and
+
vi
1
}
·
!
Synopsis of Preceding Chapters.
HAVING discovered the secret of perpetual middle age which accounts for his present hale and
hearty condition and undiminished love of adventure-Robinson Crusoe voyages from his
desert island on a frail raft with a leg-of-mutton sail, accompanied by his parrot. He at length
sights land and disembarks on a beach thronged by white people who seem civilized, but whose
dress and manners are strange to him. His coat of goat skin seeming to attract undesirable at-
tention, he appropriates certain garments which he finds neatly, folded on the beach, whereupon
ho is pursued by a violent and hostile native, but takes to his heels. After an exciting chase
and several haltbreadth escapes, he enters one of several curious "linked cabins' and conceals
himself under a seat. Presently toe is a fearful jolt, he hears a voice outside calling, "London
only and perceives that the linked cabins are moving rapidly. A fellow-fugitive concealed
beneath another seat emerges and inquires who he is, and in response to a truthful reply, re-
marka, . “Rats.** On being asked if he has any other name, the stranger admits freely that his
friends call him George,
»
*****
20
asked him for a word of advice. At the
Bane time I proffered him a card on which
were a very good name and address; they
did not happen to be my name and address,
but these engravers are so careless.
The first parson was worth fifteen shill-
ings to me. The other seventeen produced
Buins ranging from sixpence for a telegram
to thirty-two
shillings for a ticket back to
my dear little, loucly parish on 'the York.
shire hills. I may say. my moral,
・
but
muddle-headed Robinson, that I have had a
good day... If you looked as if you had
anything to lose, you might have reason to
fear me.
·
"As it is. you look as if you had nothing
to lose, and as 11, after an intemperate day,
you had slept in your clothes and spent a
bad night, and therefore you may safely
return the confidence I have reposed in
you. What have you been doing? What
are your plans? While you are telling me
I will get this daughter of the gods, di-
vinely tall and most divinely fair-I was
once a poet-to repeat the dose. Sally. vet
one again. Thank you."
From his strange fellow traveller Crusoe learns that he is in England, on a railway train, ap-
proaching London. In return for certain of the gold pieces in Crusoe's belt, the stranger agrees
to instruct him in the ways of civilization. On their arrival in London a barber is summoned to
cut Crusoe's hair, and he is fitted out with a civilized wardrobe. He lives with "G. Rats." learns
many things. good and bad, sees his gold pieces vanishing rapidly, and finally concludes that
George Rats is a most treacherous knave and villain.
PER
His auspicions are verified when G. Rats disappears with Crusoe's loose valuables. He is
thrown into the street by the new caretaker of the vacant house where he has lived, and is com-
pelled to lead a romantic life in Regents Park. Here he gets into fresh trouble through his
efforts to capture a sheep for food, being chased by a policeman a dog and several housemaids,
Crusoe now decides that seafaring life is best for him. He sets off to find the docks and
a ship in need of his services, but the crowd in the street, all moving in one direction, bear
him out to Hampstead Heath, where he discovers many strange ways of making a living. He
accepts the offer of a sideshowman to exhibit him as a "savage and semi-human animal dis-
covered by an eminent explorer in an island of the Pacific, during which engagement he es-
pies in the crowd the form of his second wife." But when he embraces her joyously he is set
·
upon fiercely by her rompanion. a particularly large and well-fed soldier.
particularly large and well-fed soldier her joyously he is set
a
Convinced that he has been misled by a remarkable facial resemblance Crusoe wanders else
where and becomes interested in cricket match, which is new to him. Here he meets George
Rats, whose clerical garh indicates that he has reformed. Accordingly, he again listens to that
person's plans for their mutual benent.
S

>
CHAPTER XII.
Crusoe Learns That His Face May Be His Fortune.
I
OOK occasion to reprobate the mis as to my conduct are severe. pointed,
chievous and evil courses of the man, silghtly rude. perhaps. but otherwise cor-
George Rats, pointing out to him that rect. I have forgotten to mention it to
in honest toll there would be no disgrace. you, but I at one time was a lay preacher,
I then told him of the hardships which and had the control of a Cottage Home,
had befallen me, of which he himself was entirely supported by the contributions of
happens to be rather a
declaration that I was on my way to the painful subject to me, and we will not
docks, where I purposed find me a ship, dwell upon it.
and that I wished for
Za
V
the principal cause, and I ended by a the cho, sưng
་
more of his so-
As for your project with regard to the
docks, let me with all the earnestness of
a political editor proving a moral victory,
of dying
your observations disrunde You an speaking to dying nien.
then took some slight refreshment from
the glass which he had placed by my
“Robinses, " he said, from large
湯
​ly overrated. Everything, believe Ľ,
Avhich is instituted, or is organized, or has
got a set of rules hanging on it, is largely
overrated. Stay with me for a time. Ac-
cept my simple hospitality. Give yourself
a chance to find the career for which you
are specially suited to realize your assets
to the full."

So, after thanking him warmly for his
kindness, I pointed out that with the ex-
ception of my seamanship and my ability to
represent a wild and semi-human animal,
discovered by au eminent explorer, I had
no means of making money, and that with
regard to the former It was at the docks
that I should find the nearest opportu
of which I might avall myself, and with
regard to the latter I had not the address
of my previous employer in the semi-hu-
man capacity, and in any case I believed
the occupation to be precarious and one
which was little likely to lead to any great
advancement.
Magg
"You mistake entirely," sald SBUXO
Rats. "You have other means of making
money. You have, for instance, your
ceptionally child-like manner and appest
ance; it is true that if you used them A
the way that I should suggest you would
lose them, and you are not, like my
enough of an artist to supply the wants
Then, again, you are a liar, but I have
noticed with real regret ou your account
that your lies are rather ininginative than
practical. The really, portant point, the
point which occurs to me principally at the
present moment, is that you possess a re-
imarkable facial resemblance to somebody
rise.
"
A
But how," I asked, "could that prout
me?"
"Possibly it will not profit you quite so
much as it will profit somebody else. In
fact, you will have the satisfaction of
knowing that you are helping another while
you are helping yourself. I will not con-
?
}
!
ceal it from yoy that I shall be the other..
Don't argue. Come. And in the first place
I have had a long day and require dinner,
Follow me, and babble about the tippies
If you will, and ask no further questions."
There was something inevitable and of
the nature of destiny about George Rats.
He had deceived me before, and I had.no
doubt that he would deceive me again.
His character even in a Christian and civil-
ized country was conspicuously bad. Yet
against my better judgment I permitted
him to prevail over me.
His landlady, who addressed him as Mr.
Sowerby, found a bedroom for me, and
George Rats seemed to be anxious that I
should occupy it at once.
"But I do not as a rule go to bed at so
arly an hour," I said.
CHAPTER XIII.
He Finds Himself Highly Esteemed at the Bank of England.
N the following morning George Rats ing out, and my first instruction to you
O
14
was somewhat taciturn, and to my is to walt here till I return.”
inquiry whether he had succeeded
in Improving his handwriting, answered
o more than that for my sake he hoped
that he had.
He returned in about an hour, bringing
with him a complete suit of clothes, whic
whlen
he made me put on.
This I did with great pleasure, for the
I had no means at the time of grasping clothes were entirely new, and the waist-
the precise meaning of this, though it was coat in particular was of a bright color
plain to me afterwards, but it was clear and pleasing to the eye. George Rats enr-
that he was revolving in his mind some veyed me, as it seemed, with great satis
great project, and without more ado I faction.
asked him what it might be.
"YEB, ** he
hé said, "the resemblance is now
"I am about," he said, "to make a a even more striking. The capitalist who
psychlogical experiment as to the cumula- wears a very distinctive waistcoat such as
tive value of three pieces of evidence, of that which now adorns you helps to make
which none is in itself entirely satisfactory. things easier. Some slight alterations are
If the cumulative value is sufficient it still wanted in the and beard, and
these inay now be arranged under my su-
pervision.
}
will be extremely good for me. If it is in
sufficient it will be extremely bad for you,
Therefore, my poor Robinson, you will
have to be particularly careful to carry
out my instructions exactly. I am now go
"Robinson," said George Rats sternly, “a
man in your circumstances and with your
recent experiences should have learned to
go to bed whenever possible, on the simple
grounds that he may never have another
chancé. Besides, I have some rather deli-
cate work ou band, which I shall manage
best if I am left alone. Wherefore kennel,
Robinson, kennel.
When I pressed him as to the nature of
that delicate work in which he was about)
to engage himself, he said that he had it in
his mind to improve his penmanship by
writing a few copies; nor was he in any
way abashed when I reminded him that he
had once been a schoolmaster, and that it
would be reasonable to suppose that this
elementary part of his education. had been
already accomplished.


*
So in the first place he took me to a
barber's shợp, and then to another place,
where he purchased for me a hat and.
loves, and at Arst my Idea was that be
was attempting now to recompense me for
the clothes and other property which he
had previously stolen from me, so that I
began to tell him that even the possession
there clothes, pleasing though it was
to me, afforded me less satisfaction thau
to observe in him the awakening of his
conscience tardy, though it might be.
At luncheon, however, his temper and
spirits seemed greatly to revive, but it ap-
peared to me that he drank beyond the
bounds of strict temperance. This, bow-
ever made no effect upon him other than
to loosen his tongue somewhat, so that be
told me that within an hour or two all
that he intended would be accomplished,
and that very much would depend upon
myself, to which I replied that I was not
nfraid of any honest work if sufficiently
remunerative. He then changed the subject.
K
1.
3
ومه
S
TILL following the directions of
George, Rats, I answered this man's
observations on tae extraordinary
clemency of the weather but briefly, and
then drew from my pocket the papers
which George Rats had given me.
These papers consisted of a number of
envelopes which had been through the
post and were all directed in different
hands to Sir William Hinkson, Bart., M. P.
:
•
•
I laid them on the counter, so that they
were closely visible to the respectful gen-.
tleman with the parrot nose, and taking
from among them an oblong, strip of paper
covered as well with printed as with writ-
ten matter I handed it across to the cashier
nud said that I would take'it in ten twen-
ties.
He then, without any hesitation, gave
me ten Bank of England notes for twenty
pounds each. These I folded and put back
with the papers in my pocket, and so came
slowly down the steps again and back
Into the cab,' where George Rats was
awaiting me.
He took from me the papers and the
banknotes, and seemed on the whole well
pleased, yet even here the strange and
whimsical character of the man showed
Itself, for we had gone no more than å
quarter of a mile when he suddenly said
No me that he disliked the color of the
driver's hair, and without more ado bade
the man to stop, and then paid and -dis-
missed him.
CHAPTER XIV.
The Bank of England Shows Itself
Most Liberal.
•
From this point
distante, and he then picked out another
and he "e walked for some
1.
D.
cab although I pointed out to him that
the color of the driver's hair
driver's hair was the
same as it had been in the previous In-
as it h
stance, and, though this was nor a ques-
tion to which I myself attached much in-
portance, yet he had been so firm and de-
cided upon it himself that I should have.
expected more consistency from him.
For the best part of an hour after Ingch-
eon we remained talking, and, then bezor-
dered a cab to be called, and bade me get
into it. He followed, and forthwith began
to give më his Instructions..
Now these instructions were so strange
and withal so trivial that I was like to
laugh at them, but there was nothing in
them to present any difficulty to a man
with a good desert island experience, and, i
though I saw no purport in them, I deter
mined to carry them out.

Therefore, when the cab stopped at the
Bank in Lombard street I got out and
went up the steps without haste and with
a cheerful emile, as George Rats had di-
rected me. It gave me some pleasure to
notice that a liveried servant of the bank
touched his hat to me, and that the cashier
with the bald head and nose like a parrot,
to whom I addressed myself, said:
"Good morning, Sir William,"
treated me with great respect.
and
•
with
He replied
much rudeness. and
tempted me to say that I was half-minded
to go back again to that bank in Lombard
street, where. thoug hey clearly mistook
me for someone else, was none the less
treated with civility and respect.
At this George Rais smiled, though a iit-
tle wearily, and said that his conscience
would not permit him to advise it.
-
he
On the contrary, he wished me
back to his lodgings; and there.
phrased It, to give my poor tired jaw a
bit of rest until he should come to me
me
again, and, further, he would leave
the cab and
and himself would walk until
found one whose driver had
blue
hair, and, though I pointed out to him
the utter fruitlessness of any such attempt
on his part, instructing him that In the
whole range of my experience I had never
found that color of hair in human beings
and but occasionally in certain kinds of
japes, he was not to be denied, and we
forthwith parted, he going on his wild and
hopeless quest of the blue-haired cab driver
and I returning to his lodgings.
•
There for the rest of the afternoon I
awaited his arrival, and, though he came
not, I could easily explain his absence,
for the task which he had set himself was
not one which he was soon likely to ac
complish..
Indeed, the evening was advanced, and
I was almost misled to await him no loa-
ger but to go forth to buy me such food
and drink as I required when there came
a knock at the door and a messenger boy
delivered two letters, of which one
to the landlady of George Rats and the
other to myself. The letter to myself ran
as follows:
was
to go
as be

"My poor Crusoe, I fear that the time has
come when we must part. I am not ast
particular as I ought to be, but I feel
cannot associate further with one so steeped
in crime as yourself. Only this afternoon
yoù
you had the reckless audacity to imperson-
ate a well-known and respected baronet.
You handed a check for two hundred
pounds with a forgery of his signature
across the counter of the bank and rẽ.
ceived the money for It. Believe me, my
dear Robinson, money which is obtained
In this way can never do you any real good.
So certain am I of this truth that I am
not sending you any of it.
wo
"By the way, by the time that you re-
ceive this I shall be on my way to the fair
Hand of France, where I hope to be able tờ
do something for the entente cordiale. N
have managed to change seven of those
notes into gold, though it took some doing,
and I expect to get rid of the other three
on the other side. In conclusion, Crusoe,
let me entreat you to be good if you wish
to be happy. Give up this life of crime.
Relinquish the vices which are dragging
you down. If you fail at the docks, try
to write another instructive book of adven-
tures for children.
•
"One last plece of advice do not argue
with the husband of the landlady, for, I
regret to say that hẻ là a man of hasty
temper. Yours, more in sorrow than
anger,
ALPHONSE DURAND."
It can scarcely be needful for me to say
that when I had read the letter from
George Rats I bent my breast and ex-
claimed that I was of all men, the most
miserable.
It was abundantly plain from this letter
that not only had he made of me a cat's
paw, but that. he had brought me into very
great danger, and I debated with myself
whether It would not be better for me to
go straight to that bank in Lombard street,
If I could find it, and explain that in cash-
Ing a forged check for two hundred pounds
I had been acting entirely under a misap-
prehension.
..
To this view I was at frst inclined, for
if I admitted that it was, my mistake and
apologized for It It would have been the
extreme of harshness in them to have had
me Imprisoned or in any way maltreated.
Against this I had to get a fact that
Í
I had most usually been treated with er.
treme harshness. Yet another course
would have been to appeal to: the police,
while a third way was to proceed to the
room which George Rats occupied, secure
as speedily as I might, any property of
value that he might have left there, before
the landlady or her husband had time to in-
terfere, and then to make a bolt for It.
4
For upwards of an hour then I paced up
and down the room trying to resolve the
problem as to which of these courses I
should adopt
•
+
1.
*
I had just decided that the last
on the whole the most preferable when the
door opened and the landlady's husband
entered. He asked me what I thought
was doing there.
}
I began to explain to him that he had
probably been mistaken in the character
of his lodger, George Rats, and to raise
the question whether his feeling of justice
and compassion should not lead him to offer
me some recompense for the wrongs that I
bad received.
To this he replied that It was no good
argument, and he would give me just five
minutes to get out of those new clothes
and to put on my old ones, and I could
then take my choice between the door and
the window.
f
This I most stoutly refused to do, for
George Rats had not told me to regard
these clothes as a loan, or as other thàn
¡a free gift.
1
How blind and degraded, too, must be
the mind of the man who can see no ukój
in argument. I was proceeding to point
out these things to him when he inter-
rupted me.
When I got up off the floor, and was re-
moving the coal dust from my hair, it oc
curred to me that erhäps· after all it
would be better to appear to comply with
his demands temporarily, and then to ap-
ply for advice to some seasoned and expert-
enced policeman.
I told him, therefore, that I was now
prepared to do as he wished.
He dalá thát i kad better hurry about it,
and that, properly speaking, he ought to
charge me sikpence for the dent which my
head had made in the conl scuttle.
I might have pointed out to him that I
had never had t
to strike his cohl
scuttle with my heavy and that any damage |
which had sustained was in reailty due
to his own action.

However, he was considerably larger and
heavier than myself, and I did not press
the matter further. I made the change of
clothes which is required, beginning, with
great Indigeretlen by removing my boots.
This gave filmomething to. throw at më
during the remainder of my tollet, and he
availed himmelt very ally of the oppor
tunity, being apparently unable to see that
this frequent dodging of the boots greatly
Impeded and delayed my actions.
I
rinding myself on the pavement outside,
determined to make my way directly to
the bank, feeling conndent that those who
had control of the bank would be able to
advise me as to my best course as to the
landlady's husband, while at the same time
I should be able to prevent them from
forming thể unjust and mistaken Idea that
I was in any way responsible for that
forged check.
As I had determined to go to the bank I
did not, of course, get there. But at this,
point there came a happy tufa In the tide
of my fortunes, leading to my deliverance
from this cruel and inhospitable island on
which I had been cast üp →→
✓
D

J
CHAPTER XV.

HAD not, however, gone much further
before a gentleman who was passing
bade me carry a largo bag for him.
This I consented to do, and, seeing that
he was of a benevolent aspect, tried to
lead him into conversation, suggesting that
the weather was salubrious, and intending
to lead him on until I could obtain from
him some advice as to the pitiable state in
which I was.
It is idle, however, to judge a man by
appearances, and after my third or fourth
attempt to set him at his ease and find a
topic for conversation, he very shortly bade
me to hold my jaw and to walk in front
of him, and in this way we came, after a
matter of two miles, to a great railway
station, where he took the bag from me,
bestowed twopence on me, and said that it
was money easily earned I gathered from
his accent that he was a Scotchman.
m
As I had come thus far I thought that I
hight take a good look around me before
leaving the station, more especially as it
seemed to me that I had been there before.
S
Now, a very plain and easy test came
Into my mind by which I might decide
whether tals, was indeed the station to
which I had come in company with George
Rats on my first arrival in London; and¦
this test was to go into that part of the
station which was set aside for the dis-
pensing of refreshments and there to order
glass of bitter.
Nowhere else in London had any human.
being dared to offer me so little beer for
so much money.
**
Therefore, when the lady in black silk
Alled a glass containing one-quarter of a
pint, in respect of two-thirds of it, with
beer, and in respect of the other third
with foam, and required me to pay two-
pence for
for it, knew that I had indeed
got back to that same station, and was
uplifted in spirit
Bra from the Boer
had come
Gefied to be
a probability that I might get to the sea
from here.
Indeed it could not be otherwise unless
the trains ran exclusively in one direction.
In the meantime I drank my beer, of
which after my great exertions. I was in
considerable need, and watched those who
came, and went about me.
And presently there entered a man In
untidy clothes whose eyes reminded me
of those of a dead fish, and having bump-
ed somewhat violently against the counter,
grasped it with both hands to keep himself
upright, and said that he wanted a bath
bun
The lady in black silk said that he would
have nothing while he was in that condl-
tion, and that he had better go away at
once before she called the police to him.
So far as I could understand him-and he
seemed to be suffering from some thick-
ness or impediment of the speech-he said
that this was just where she was wrong;
that a bath bun was not an intoxicating
drink; that he was doing it as a test-case;.
and that if he had any more of her lip he
should put the matter in the bands of his
solicitor.
"You had better get out of this quietly,"
said the lady, "or you will only get your-
self into trouble. Haven't you got any
friends to look after you?"
At this he began to weep, and said that
everybody he loved was dead, and that he
wanted તી bath bun, and that if she
thought he could not pay for it she was
adjective well mistaken.
With this he began to pull money and
other things from his waistcoat pocket
and dropped some of it on the floor. In
stooping very slowly to recover it bis bat
fell off, and he himself came down in a
siting position on the top of the hat,,
where he began to sing loudly to the effect
that good King Wenceslaus looked out on
the feast of Stephen.

·
The lady asked me if I would be good
enough to call a porter, which I did, and
the singer was then removed protesting
loudly that he had taken a ticket same
as everybody else, and that he had got a
right to a six of whiskey same as every.
body else.
After he had gone I was pleased to
notice that in one respect at least he
had told but the truth, for the ticket had
fallen from his waistcoat pocket to the
floor, and he had not recovered it.
Firstly, then, I dropped my own hand-
herchief on the top of the ticket, and
then picked up the two together.
On a further examination of my prize I
saw that it was of a green color, and of
the third class, and, which was more im-'
portant, that the possession of It would en-
title me to travel by tralu to Bingley-on-
Sea.
•
Thus, then, though I had but i de
i
served it, had the meaus of release been ·
put in my hands. Overcome with joy and
gratitude. I followed the hint of my bene-
factor, and ordered a six of whiskey, and
when I had drunk it
had drunk it sallied forth in
search of some porter who should direct
me to the train to Bingley-on-Sea,
My good fortune still pursued me, and
I found that there was a train just on the
point of departure.
I had by this time become used to 'tralps
In some measure, so that the speed at
which we travelled occasioned me none of
the fear which I had formerly exper
lenced.
There was with me In the carriage a:
gray-haired woman, energetic, and with a
mouth like a rat-trap, having with her a
small and withered girl of about nine years
of age.
A
K
*
t
→
"There was with me in the carriage a gray-haired woman, energetic and
arat.tcap, having with her a small and withered
girl about
us nine years of
Autr
ith a mouth like
giff of
(Concluded.)-Chapter XVI.
S she went on to describe him it became
evident to me that her son-in-law's, brother
•
1
>
was that drunken person who had been re-.
moved from the refreshment room and with whose.
tickét I was now traveling.
At first I thought of calling her attention to so
striking, a coincidence, adding that this was
small world, and that the ways of destiny were
inscrutable; but on further reflection I abandoned
this project; and at the same time the small girl
said that she wanted to go home, and was given
a small piece of almond rock in place thereof,
which naturally changed the subject.
We reached Bingley-on-Sea without shipwreck,
mutiny or sirocco in an aggravated form, which
was in some ways a disappointment to me, as I
generally expected something of the kind when I
travelled, and such things were no more than I
had been brought up to.
BO
I
Until the train started she was. In a
state of great perturbation, and she would
at one and the same time tell the small;
girl to run down to the end of the plat-
form and see if he was coming, and would
also order her most strictly to keep her
seat unless she wanted to miss the trafn,
professing to wonder if she ever knew
what that, child really dfd want, except
It was to give constant trouble.
As soon as the train had started she
turned upon me and said that she sup-
posed that men were all alike. She had
been waiting for her son-in-law's brother,
as nice a man as anyone could wish to see
when he did not give way to it, but that
was where it was.
}
"
میں۔
·
$

Terper
L
It was the habit of George Rats to ob-
serve that things went in streaks, and that
if he spotted a wrong one for the first
race he always turned it up unless he was
over-persuaded, which, when I questioned
him upon it, seems to mean that whether
the luck were good or ill, a series of
events illustrating its character was likely
to follow in succession.
So now it was with me: in the first
place, I had found a Scotchman who had
paid me twopence for carrying a ninety-
six pound bag two miles: then he had
taken me to that one railway station in
London with. which I was familiars then,
again, I had found a railway ticket by
which I might get me out of the reach of
the Bank and of the landlady's husband.
and of the other products of a hyper-
trophied civilization..
娄
​C
>
More was yet to follow: when we reached
Bingley of Sea, and I had left the station.
I found that was none other than the very
spot it which my raft had come tô land.
There was the very same shop and the
very same grocer. There on the sea←
front, were
same gentlemen of color
singing the very same songs. But a short
distance away was cave in which I
had stowed my gear, all ready and com-
modious for me.
-EQ¢
In brief so overwhelming was now my
good fortune that I resolved to discontinue
my practice of keeping any account what-
ever with destiny, unless the figures should
be urgently demanded.
F
I found all my gear exactly as I had
left it, and fh. no way injured by rust.
Neither could I observe any trace · of
moth, but as my stores consisted chiefly
of a muzzle-loader, a paralyzed compass
some empty case bottles, and as moths
have
but little appetite for such things,
this was not to be wondered at.
However, as I was turning over my
property I suddenly heard from the dark-
est recess of the cave a voice bidding me
good morning, and asking if I were in the
habit of using a certain much advertised
SON
So great was the shock that. I'forthwith
fell upon my face, vowed to lead a better
life in future, and to return all money if
the goods should not prove satisfactory.
But as the voice went on to bld me to
cheer up and to wear flannel next my skin,
I suddenly recognized it. It was none
other than my long-lost parrot,
AV.
**
In my joy I would have fallen upon its
neck, but it explained that in common
with other bird
it was particularly sen-
sitive in that region, and, further, that it
had just done Its hair, and did not want It
disarranged.
So I sat me down and bade the parrot
| tell me what had beladen it since it had
left me; but to this I obtained no proper
answer, for all the bird would do was to
rock gently to and fro exclaiming
"O, such a time! O such a time!"
*
*

When I pressed It further it said how
mad and sad and bad it was, but then how
it was sweet; and added that it had taken
up with the early-closing movement, and
that if I would be good enough to keep
quiet it was just going to bye-bye.
As it was now growing late, I saw that
the bird spoke with good reason, and that
night slept very soundly.
Awakening in the early morning, and
thinking it possible that some of the bath-
ers might have left their clothes on the.
beach in the neighborhood, I whistled to
my parrot and we two went forth from
the eave together.

The object to meet my eyes más sone to
all me as well with joy as with astonish-
ment. My raft which I had so reluct-
antly abandoned had been washed up again
by the tide, and safely delivered, so to
speak, at my own door.
For sheer intelligence I doubt If there la
anything which can compete with a good
tide.
I remember how in 'my last place when
the tide washed up
washed up a bottle
bottle from the
wreck if made a point of unlocking a sea-
man's chest, taking out a corkscrew, and
washing that up along with it.
For everything that you want just when
you want it the tide and the wreck leave
the boasted emporium of civilization far
behind.

.

So it was in this case. The sea had re-
tained my raft while I had no use for it,
but sent it up to my door when I wished
to leave, and with no damage done, as I
found on closely examining it.
The next two days then I spent in writ.
ing this account of my visit to the island,
and in procuring such stores as I required
for my next voyage on my raft.
And on this voyage I shall start with
the greater. confidence, knowing that I can-
not come across anything worse than what
I have left behind me.
My parrot snares in my high spirits, and
at sunrise to-morrow, if all be well, we
shall be far from these shores.
THE END.

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