j#
THE

Evolution of Marriage
Ideals
BY THEODORE SCHROEDER
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THE EVOLUTION OF MARRIAGE IDEALS.
By THEoDoRE SCHRoEDER.
HE TASK which I have assigned
myself is that of tracing the his-
torical forces which have changed, and
which are changing, our ideals as to the
status of married women. We shall deal
with motives, not ceremonies, and shall
see that these have been as varied as the
aspects in which woman has been viewed.
We will begin with Ancient Greece,
where several different classes of women
were recognized, as each supplying a
, social need. It will be seen that the ideal
of Plato, caused by his sexual inversion,
ultimately became the Christian ideal;
and with the addition of the frenzy of
fanaticism, an unanticipated result was
achieved in the mad hatred and degra-
dation of woman and marriage. The
next most potent influence was a reac-
tionary one, and came from the chivalric
love-intoxication of medieval knighthood.
The third change of ideal was produced
by our industrial reorganization, which
transferred most of the household occu-
pations to the factory. Next we come
to our present transitional state, wherein
economic pressure furnishes the dyna-
mics, and it is believed will compel the
acceptance of an economically independ-
ent wifehood as the future ideal. To
amplify these suggestions, and more
specifically to point out these causes and
trace their operation and consequences
is the mission of this essay.
Demosthenes, in his oration against
Neara, described the sexual life of the
Athenians in these words: “We marry
a woman in order to obtain legitimate
children, and to have a faithful warder
in the house; we keep concubines for our
service and daily care; and hetairae for
the enjoyment of love.”
The hetairae (or kept women) were the
only women of Greece who enjoyed at
* Babel's Woman under Socialism, p. 35.
the same time, “freedom, education,
accomplishments and contempt.” They
were the constant companions and often
the instructors of the great men of their
time, and models for the great artists.
Their lives are better known to us than
those of the matrons.i.
Among the wives there was a well-
recognized distinction between the eco-
nomically dependent and the independ-
ent ones. The former were hardly more
than head slaves of the Grecian house-
holds, with little or no freedom, and
were looked upon as but the master's
concubines, and as such, were commonly
bought and sold. These conditions did
not attend their higher types of marriage.
The most sought and most envied posi-
tion for the Greek woman of that time
was an economically independent wife-
hood.
Writing upon this subject, the Rev.
John Potter, late Archbishop of Canter-
bury, has this to say: “So common be-
came the custom for women to bring
portions to their husbands, that some
made the most essential difference be-
tween ‘wife’ and concubine to consist in
this, that wives had dowries, whereas
concubines were usually without. Hence,
men who were content to marry wives
who had no fortune, commonly gave
them an instrument in writing acknowl-
edging the receipt of their dowry. The
rest of their distinction was chiefly found-
ed on this, that she who had a dowry
thought it a just title to greater freedom
with her husband, and to more respect
from him, than such as owed their main-
tenance to him. . . . In consideration
of her dowry, she had the privilege, when
her husband was impotent, of consorting
f Lecky's History of European Morale, Vol. II,
. 293; Potter's Grecian Antiquities; also Sanger's
istory 3. Prostitution, 54-62; Celebrated Courte-
zans, by Jean Richepin.
2 The Evolution of Marriage Ideals.
with his nearest kinsman,” and under
special circumstances, even with others.f
Our Bishop also informs us, that among
such, divorces were easy and were usu-
ally, but not always, granted on the same
terms to men as to women. When a
woman was divorced, the husband must
return her dowry. Polygamy was pro-
hibited, but within the monogamic family
stirpiculture was practiced with the con-
sent of the married couple and encour-
aged by public opinion. Adultery (which
of course did not include these permitted
relations) was most cruelly punished.
The result of so natural a marital code,
in which the right of the offspring to be
well-born was esteemed of more conse-
quence than a husband's vanity-tickling
sex-monopoly, made the glory of Greece
to consist in the physical and intellectual
superiority of its people. When a woman
of another country said to Gorgo, the
wife of Leonadas: “You of Lacedaemon
are the only women in the world who rule
men,” she answered: “We are the only
women that bring forth men.”$ With
such women, motherhood was a right,
not a duty.
The same substantial equality of the
sexes found expression in their religion.
In the old Greek and Roman Pantheons,
the goddess was quite as conspicuous as
her divine consort. In their temples,
we find officiating priestesses as well as
priests, and in their festivals, there was
as much glorification of the feminine in
nature as of the seemingly masculine
qualities. “The Gospel according to
the Hebrews,” which was in use as late
as the second century of the Christian
era, taught the equality of the feminine
in the God-head and also that daughters
should inherit with the sons.|
During the Pagan Empire, Rome had
*Potter's Grecian Antiquities, p. 616; see, also,
Lecky's European Morals, Vol. II, p. 289; Wade's
Woman Past and Present, p. 26.
f Woman, Past and Present, p.26; Lecky's Euro-
%. Morals, º II., p. 290; Potter's Grecian
8, p. 551.
f Woman, Past and Present, p.26; Woman Under
Socialism, p. 45; Potter's Grecian Antiquities, p.630.
conditions, which, in their legal aspect,
very much resembled those of Athens.
Even then “One might see the Emperor's
wives honored with the titles of August
Mothers of their country. Some of them
had place in the Senate, governed Rome
and the Empire, gave audience to Em-
bassadors, and disposed of posts of em-
ployments. Others were consecrated
priestesses, and even exalted to the rank
of Goddesses.”
This, then, brings us to our first, if not
our chief problem. What were the forces,
and whence came they, which destroyed
these superior features of the marriage
ideals of these Pagans, and in the Dark
Ages reduced all Christian wives to the
status of chattel-slaves?
Going back to about 400 B.C. we find
at the extreme of Greek ideals, two
boldly contrasted and equally dangerous
tendencies. On the one hand, were the
excessive sensualities of the degenerating
mysteries of Phallic worship; on the
other, the equally salacious aceticism
of the philosophers, among many of whom
pederasty was a glorified vice. Among
the victims of this sexual inversion, So-
crates, Plato and Aristotle were conspic-
uous,” and therefore, probably, for at
least a portion of their lives, indifferent—
if not impotent—to women. Thence
came this doctrine of passionless love
between persons of opposite sex, which
is boastfully lauded even to this day, by
persons too ignorant to know the patho-
logical significance of Platonic love, but
whose afflictions impel them to an osten-
tatious “purity.”
The Apostle Paul was born in the free
city of Tarsus, whose population was
largely Greek, though within the Roman
Empire. “Recent historical investiga-
tion teaches that Paul’s father was of
si Potter's Grecian Antiquities, p. 645; see, also, pp.
1–632.
Woman, Church and State, pp. 50, 38; see, also,
A View of Ancient Laws Against Immorality, p. 9.
TMolesworth's The Roman Empresses,Vol.I., p.2.
*A Problem in Greek Ethics, by Symonds; see,
also, Woman Under Socialism, p. 37; also, Sugges-
tive Therapeutics in Psychopathia Sexualis, Chap. 8.
The Evolution of Marriage Ideals. 3
Greek nationality, and his mother of
Jewish.” The schools of Tarsus, at-
tended by Paul, equaled those of Alex-
andria, Athens and Rome, and here he
undoubtedly studied the Greek philoso-
phers.i. This education in the Greek
classics was possibly supplemented by
his instruction under Gamaliel.f Being
afflicted with epilepsy, Ś quite necessarily
St. Paul possessed a foundation of sexual
hyperestheticism. He boasts that he is
unmoved by the temptations of women.|
This impotency is a stigma of perverted
sex-instinct, whence comes also woman-
hatred."
Whatever the cause, Paul became pos-
sessed by the perverted opinions of Plato,
as has been shown by his very scant tol-
erance of marriage. The only other
apostle upon whom the ascetic ideal made
any great impression was St. John, whom
Jesus undoubtedly had in mind, when
he spoke, with evident sympathy, of
those “eunuchs who made themselves
eunuchs for the Kingdom of Heaven's
sake.” All the remaining apostles were
married men.ff
The teachings of St. Paul and St. John
are the beginning of Christian asceticism,
and through their popularity, Plato's
“celestial love” and many of his mys-
ticisms were adopted into Christianity.
“Of the early influence of this [Platonic]
philosophy upon Christianity, there ex-
ists distinct evidence in the opening
verses of St. John's Gospel, which are
pure Platonism in language and thought;
and it is not, perhaps, too much to refer
all the disputes which divided and dis-
turbed the infant church, to a contest
between those, who in forming their re-
ligious creed, adopted and those who
*Haeckel's Riddle of The Universe, pp. 313, 328.
f Plato and Paul, Chap. 17.
#:}The § p. ;
ames' Varieties o igious Experiences, p. 13.
|Renan's The # . 166. p
See, generally, #. º: Sea:-
is, and on page, 417. Schrenck-Notzing, p. 132,
º authors, among them, Moll.
*Matthew, Chap. XIX., W. 12.
ff Variations of # • P
. 529.
ff Woman and Her Master, Vol. II., p. 382.
rejected more or less of the new philoso-
phy.”ff In recognition of this men like
Erasmus call Plato “a Christian before
Christianity.”$$
The first effective organized impetus
towards the Christian acceptance of the
ascetic ideal came with the opening of the
second century, through Montanus,
whose following was impelled to ascet-
icism by a desire to glorify the martyrdom
of their prophet. He had suffered in-
voluntary emasculation by irate husbands,
who felt themselves injured by his un-
excused trespasses within their families.||
Through the added sexual enthusiasms
engendered by voluntary suppression,
the frenzy of fanaticism grew apace. In
A. D. 385, celibacy during life was made
compulsory for the priests of the Western
churches." About this time monachism
as an institution and celibate orders of
the church were first founded.* By a
natural law, every increased success in
sex-suppression resulted in more numer-
ous and more vivid erotic hallucinations,
in which women always appeared as the
supposed instruments of Satan for the
tempting of priestly virtue.fff Thusevolv-
ed to their acute stages the mysogyny
and erotóphobia of the Dark Ages, with
their resultant witch-burning and like
horrors.
Under the influence of clerical suppres-
sion of the natural, sexual perversions
abounded, and the church became satu-
rated with an ever-intensifying hatred of
women. The Pauline doctrines, that
husbands should rule over wives, and
that “it is a shame for a woman to speak
in the church”; that “it is good for a
man not to touch a woman”; that “he
that giveth her in marriage doeth well,
% Revelation the Best Foundation of Morals, Wol.
., p. 107.
| Lee's History of Montanism.
| Hardy's Eastern Monachism, p. 49; º:
Variations of Popery, p. 552; Day's Monastic Insti
futi
*Dibdin's Monasticism in England, p. 13 et seq.
Lecky's History of European Morals.
fff See Sinistrarie, Iucubi and Succubi, unexpur-
gated lives of the Saints, as St. Jerome, or accounts
of the “Witches’ Sabbath.”
II
4. The Evolution of Marriage Ideals.
but he that giveth her not in marriage,
doeth better,” became then the dominant
thought of Christianity.
As this Christian erotophobia grew,
womanhood suffered more and more of
religious degradation. Tertullian de-
nounced woman as “the gate of hell”;
St. Bernard called her “the organ of the
devil”; St. Anthony said: “The woman
is the fountain of the arm of the devil,
her voice is the hissing of the serpent”;
St. Bonaventure denounced her as “a
scorpion, ever ready to sting, . . . the
lance of the demon”; St. Cyprian saw
her as “the instrument of the devil”; St.
Jerome as “the gate of devil, the road of
iniquity, the sting of the scorpion”; St.
John Damascene labeled her the “daugh-
ter of falsehood, a sentinel of hell, the
enemy of peace”; St. Gregory the Great
adds: “Woman has the poison of an asp,
the malice of a dragon”; St. Chrysostom
announces that “through woman the devil
has triumphed. . . . Of all wild beasts,
the most dangerous is woman.”
Many of the saints would not look upon
a woman, nor allow one to look upon
them, not even a sister or a mother.
Women who presumed to enter churches
with uncovered heads were denounced.i.
On the celebration of the anniversary of
Saint Simeon, women were wholly ex-
cluded from the church, which was built
around the pillar upon which he mortified
the flesh. Because of their impurity, a
provincial council, in the sixth century,
forbade women to receive the eucharist
into their naked hands.S. For like rea-
son, they were not permitted to sing in
church choirs, and eunuchs were put in
their stead.]
At the council of Macon (A. D. 585),
* Requoted from Woman, Her Glory and Her
Shame, p. 13; Babel's Woman Under Socialism, p.
51; also Variations of P , p. 539; Lecky's His-
tory of Rationalism in Europe, pp. 98-100; Day's
Monastic Institutions, p. 259 et seq; Gage's Woman,
Church and State, chapter on “Celibacy.”
t Fathers of the Desert; Woman, Church and State,
pp. 60-61; Lecky's Morals.
fDay's Monastic Institutions, p.35; “Women may
not enter second enclosure of the Carthusians and
are excluded from their church,” Eastern Monach-
fifty-nine bishops taking part, it was a
matter of serious discussion whether or
not women had souls. By a majority of
one it was decided that they had." In
the seventh century one Christian sect
taught that females could not be resur-
rected, but that they could and would be
transformed into men before their en-
trance into their final exaltation.* A
thousand years afterward it was still a
matter of ecclesiastical debate whether
the native American women possessed
souls. In the Greek Christian Church
of Russia women were not classified as
human beings until the time of Peter the
Great.ff These are the lingering con-
sequences of that madness which came
from adding religious zeal to the unnatural
ideals developed in Plato, from his psy-
cho-sexual disease.
The acute erotophobia of the monks,
through sympathetic imitation, was trans-
fused into the masses as an all-pervading
mysogyny. When the church had es-
tablished that association with woman
“was unclean,” her religious and social
equality were synchronously destroyed.
When it became currently accepted, that
the erotic hallucinations of celibate priests,
evidenced that woman was but an instru-
ment of Satan to tempt their virtue, that
was the kindling of the witch-burner's fire.
So, also, when dominant ecclesiastics
asserted that woman was as soulless as
the lower animals were supposed to be,
and “the most dangerous” of wild beasts,
her degradation as a chattel-slave was
quite inevitable.
By the tenth century, woman's sub-
jection as a chattel-slave was complete.
Her husband-owner could mortgage, sell
or kill her, just as he could any other live
ism, p. 54; see, also, Woman, Church and State,
pp. 58-61.
# Lecky's History of European Morals, Vol. II.,
.338, citing decree of Council of Auxerre, also Trop-
ong; for other restrictions, see Woman, Church and
State, pp. 114 and 124.
|Woman, Church and State, p. 57.
lº. Woman, Church and State, p. 56; Ba-
bel's Woman Under Socialism, p. 52.
* Ross' View of All Religions, p. 219.
ff Woman, Church and State, p. 56.
The Evolution of Marriage Ideals. 5
chattel. No wonder, then, that thou-
sands of women were driven into mon-
asteries, as the only place offering even
a little freedom, economic independence
and respectability.*
The same crime was more severely
punished, if committed by a woman, than
if committed by a man.f The wife's
rebellion against her husband, was pun-
ished as treason. President Roosevelt
still esteems it akin to treason for the sex-
slave in marriage to refuse to render sex-
service. Before the Mothers’ Congress,
speaking of the deliberately childless
wife, he said: “Such a creature merits
contempt, as hearty as any visited upon
the soldier who runs away in battle.”$
The deserter before a foe is killed. Does
Mr. Roosevelt’s “contempt as hearty”
mean that he desires also to inflict the
death penalty on married women who
have deliberately limited their offspring
to a number less than their utmost phys-
ical capacity? That is the logical in-
ference.
In England, as late as 1814, a husband
sold his wife at public auction.|| There
is a record of the sale of a polygamous
wife in Utah, as late as 1850. Even in
1892, the New York courts decided that
the service of the wife belonged to her
husband as a matter of right, and that
she could not recover for it, even if hold-
ing his written promise to pay. Thus
she is still his legal slave."
“Toward the close of the fourteenth
century, hardly a woman could be found
in Europe who could read her native
language.” . Even the erudite Erasmus
doubted whether learning was a suitable
accomplishment for her, ff and all lesser
clackers echoed his sentiment for centu-
ries. Even to this day, some belated
victims to tenth-century ideals still de-
* 2Lecky's European Morals, pp. 299 339; Gage's
Woman, Church ;"; p. 302, citing Spencer.
f Gage's Woman, Church and State, p. 312.
f Woman, Church and State, pp. 314-315.
& Christian Advocate, March 23, 1905.
|Lecture by Rev. Dr. Walker, in Presbyterian
Church, Madison, Wis. (about 1888.); also, Gage's
Woman, Church and State, p. 39.
plore female education;
through women’s clubs.
We have now seen how Christian de-
nunciation of marriage, as impure, and
of women as subordinate and vile, pro-
duced a wifehood of chattel-slavery.
This necessarily involved that rendering
sex-service had become a woman's slave-
duty to her husband-owner. Under our
present partial emancipation and en-
lightenment, husbands lack the courage,
publicly, to insist upon this as their per-
sonal right, but instead, ask for it for
themselves in the name of a class, nation
or race, which every such man feels him-
self in duty bound to save from its imi-
nent danger of extinction. As formerly
he demanded a slavish slave, so now he
demands a “womanly woman,” one who
joyously defends and meekly submits to
the male imposition of economic de-
pendence, intellectual inferiority, a dual
standard of morals and female duties.
Motherhood, as a right, has vanished,
and motherhood as a duty is still preached
by the benighted as the highest mark of
female slave-virtue.
Other forces have contributed to the
persistence of this ideal. The tribal
chiefs and war-lords, needing soldiers for
slaughter, rediscovered their advantage
in making breeding a virtue. Napoleon
needed “food for cannon,” so when the
brilliant but barren Madame de Staël
asked him: “Who is the greatest wom-
an P” he said: “She who has borne her
husband the greatest number of chil-
dren.” Frederick the Great, in 1741,
wrote: “I look upon men as a herd of
deer in the zoölogical gardens of a great
lord; their only duty is to propagate and
fill the park.”ff President Roosevelt
still endorses this ideal as the highest,
for womankind, when he says that “the
wilfully barren woman has no place in a
especially
* Blaehinska vs. Howard Mission and Home for
Little Wanderers, 130 N. Y., p. 497.
* Woman, Past and Present, p. 57.
ff Woman, Past and Present, p. 58.
†† Woman Under Socialism, p.75, citing Kautsky's
“Ueber den einflus der Volks-vermehrung auf den
vortschritt der gesellschaft.”
6 • The Evolution of Marriage Ideals.
sane, healthy and vigorous community,”
and adds, before the Mothers’ Congress,
that: “There are exceptional men and
exceptional women, who can lead, and
ought to lead, great careers of outside
usefulness, in addition to . . . not as a
substitute for . . . their home duties.”
Until the zoölogical garden of her great
lord and master is full of deer, and these
adequately cared for by her, woman may
not even aspire to a career of other use-
fulness, without forfeiting her right to live
in a “sane, healthy and vigorous com-
munity”! It is quite incomprehensible,
how women with any education can sit
calmly under—or even applaud—such
degrading denial of an equal opportunity
for the exercise of other than their breed-
ing capacity and its incidents.
The demands of the war-lord helped
to kill the motherhood of privilege, and
from its corpse raised the ghastly mother-
hood of patriotic duty, which refuses to
recognize any amount of social uplifting
as an equivalent substitute for her sex-
service. The continued advocacy of this
ideal, after the war-lord’s motives ceased
to operate, has the appearance of a com-
promise between the ascetic ideal and an
insatiable lust, where cowardice and stu-
pidity induce a vociferous apology for
over-generous self-indulgence.
Perhaps the most potent thralldom
which perpetuated this new ideal came
again from the church. In celibate,
priestly eyes, “marriage is something
unholy and unclean,” to use the words of
Origen.f Sometimes it was explained
as an unavoidable evil, and at others,
magnanimously endured as “the thorny
bush from which has come the rose vir-
ginity.”f The sentiment of St. Hierony-
mous ultimately prevailed. He said:
“Marriage is always a vice; all that we
can do is to excuse and to cleanse it.”$
* Christian Advocate, May 23, 1905.
f Requoted from Babel's Woman Under Social-
ism, p. 51.
f Requoted from Felix Adler.
% Requoted from Babel's Woman Under Social-
ism, p. 51.
To minimize and excuse the “vileness,”
marriage must produce virgins. There-
fore the duty to procreate, which was the
price of permitted “impurity,” became as
extravagantly over-valued as was the evil
to which it justified an exceptional con-
cession. The motherhood of privilege,
which was already succumbing to the
motherhood of slave-duty to a military
despot, now yielded also to the mother-
hood of religious duty to God.
Thus the husband-master of a sex-
slave in marriage, not caring or daring
to repudiate the whole of the ascetic ideal,
yet seeking a moral justification for a
wife's compulsory gratification of his
sensual appetites, secured the aid of both
the church and the state, and all these
still seek to limit a woman’s activities,
to coerce propagation and its incidents.
All are united to laud her compulsory
sex-submission as a virtue.
Even to this day, in probably every
state in the Union, the law still recognizes
the husband's ownership of his wife's
body. He may rape his wife with prac-
tical impunity, since marriage is a defense
to the crime of rape. When he rapes a
woman without having acquired that
right, by priestly ceremony, even though
she is his paid mistress, the criminal law
against rape will send him to prison.
Even if the law were changed, economic
dependence and a perverted public opin-
ion, which in consequence of such de-
pendence prates of “wifely duty,” would
still compel submission; and all this,
because the Bible says: “Wives, submit
yourselves unto your own husbands in
all things.”
The Christian ascetic ideal, born in the
sexual-psychopathy of Plato, had now
run its full course, from religious mys-
ogyny to spiritual inequality, to the denial
of her possessing a soul, to her enslave-
ment as a husband's chattel.
In short, through the influence of Pla-
to's sexual inversion, Christian asceticism
destroyed motherhood as a right, and
created the motherhood of duty, primarily
The Evolution of Marriage Ideals. 7
to her husband, secondarily, and in mod-
ern times, hypocritically, to the State and
to her God.
Ecclesiastical authority was unable to
wholly suppress or pervert the human
sex-nature. Under the pretense that
marriage must be purified and excused,
the priests now sought to keep it under
their control. “Popish casuists such as
Costerus, Pighius, Hosius, Campeggio,
and those reported by Agrippa, raised
whoredom above wedlock.”* Under the
influence of such ideas of the “vileness”
of marriage, it was early prohibited to
perform the ceremony within church
edifices.f Though many, like Jerome,
had said that the duty of a husband was
“incompatible with the duty of a Chris-
tian,”f yet in the ninth century it was
argued that an act of the church could
validate marriage; and in 1085 Pope
Hildebrand VII. declared matrimony
a sacrament,' and the Council of Trent,
in the sixteenth century, was the first
Church Council to declare matrimony
one of the seven sacraments of Catholi-
cism.]]
Many authorities had declared for
divorce and remarriage upon varying
grounds. St. Ephiphanius allowed di-
vorce for any crime." Justinian forbade
divorce unless both parties desired to
enter a monastery.* St. Gregory the
Second, and others, blessed with infalli-
bility, authorized bigamy. In response
to Boniface (A. D. 726), he answered that
when wives were incapacitated by infirm-
ity, men, if unendowed with continence,
might marry again. This theory was
adopted in 752 by the Council of Vermeria
or Werbery. Pepin, the French king,
with the French prelacy, was present in
*Edgar's Variations of Popery, pp. 559-560, citing
the original authorities.
f Gage's Woman, Church and State, p. 120.
f Edgar's Variations of Popery, p. 539.
# Gage's Woman, Church and State, p. 222.
|Babel's Woman Under Socialism, p. 56; also
Woman, Past and Present, p. 328; Bungener's His-
tory of The Council of Trent, Chap. VI.
| Edgar's Variations of £g. p. 547.
** Babel's Woman Under Socialism, p. 45
#figur's variations of Poper, pp. 561 to 565.
ff Father” H. A. Brann, in New York Herald,
this assembly. The Gallican clergy al-
lowed the privilege of repudiation and
subsequent wedlock to those who married
slaves, pretending to be free; and to men
whose wives were guilty of certain con-
tumacy.if To keep sexual relations under
priestly control, marriage with heretics
was, in the twelfth century, prohibited,
and such marriages could be repudiated
and remarriage allowed. If The Council
of Trent, in the sixteenth century, for the
first time authoritatively declared mar-
riage indissoluble.S$
When the priests made marriage a
“sacramental authority to live unchaste,”
though its religious sacredness was there-
by grossly overestimated, it was yet rec-
ognized as religiously semi-respectable,
and this was the first step towards our
growing sanity upon the subject of
SeX.
Monks and priests, in their mad desire
to discredit marriage, came to an ever-
growing exaltation of the alleged virginity
of the mother of Jesus. In their noc-
turnal erotism, these mad victims of
sex-suppression thought they received
solace from the “Virgin Mother,” who
appeared to them in their hallucinations.]]||
Mariolatry grew apace. In the fifth
century, a mere recognition of Mary's
good fortune in her maternity began to
change to acts of homage." The first
feast of the Immaculate Conception was
celebrated in A. D. 1134,” and at the
ecumenical Council of 1849 the dogma
of the Immaculate Conception of the
Virgin Mary was first authoritatively
promulgated, although her worship had
longexisted.jff “True Catholics no longer
pray to Jesus, except through Mary,” so
declare Romanist authorities.iff
gº ’s Variations of P , p. 564.
* #. ; Popery, # §º.
p. irº. James Leuba, “On the Psychology of a
Group of Christian Mystics” in Mind (of London)
for January, 1905; Edgar's Variations of Popery.
!" Bungener's History of The Council of Trent, p.
*Woman, Past and Present, p. 71.
fff Gage's Woman, Church and State, p. 222.
fit Bungener's History of The &: of Trent,
p. 509.
8 The Evolution of Marriage Ideals.
Many, like the great Dominican ascetic
and mystic, Suso, when meeting a woman,
stepped respectfully aside, though their
bare feet must tread the gutter or thorns.
But this was done, not to exalt woman,
as such, but rather to discredit married
women by exalting the Virgin. Suso
said: “I do this to render homage to our
Holy Lady, the Virgin Mary.”
While by contrast with the Virgin idol,
this was intended as a reflection on the
generality of women, it undesignedly
brought about, among laymen, that wor-
shipful attitude toward women which
was characteristic of that chivalric love
of medieval knighthood. Thus the priest
unconsciously sowed the seed of chivalry,
for the homage he paid to women for the
sake of a dead virgin, was soon imitated
by laymen, for the sake of a live lover.
On the part of those who “sigh like a
furnace,” this led to that mad apotheosis
of love passion which found its public ex-
pression in the poetry and songs of the
troubadours and glee-maidens, and the
special code of sex-ethics which was ad-
ministered by their “Courts of Love.”
They seem to have esteemed love far
higher than religion or virtue, or any re-
straining influence. In their “Laws of
Love,” it was laid down that: “Marriage
cannot be pleaded as an excuse for re-
fusing to love”; that “It is not becoming
to love those ladies who only love with a
view to marriage”; that “Nothing pre-
vents one lady being loved by two gentle-
men, or one gentleman by two ladies”;
and that love cannot exercise its power
on (between) married people.”f
No wonder, then, that every court lady
esteemed it necessary, as a point of amor-
ous etiquette, to have a troubadour in her
train, and that he, in silly proof of the
madness of his devotion, often suffered
the greatest bodily mascerations. All
this but furnished added evidence of how
extremes beget extremes. As the monks
and priests overestimated the sinfulness
*Wagner's Simple Life, p. 32. (McClure Phipps
ediº"
f Rowbotham's Troubadours and Courts of Love
of love, so to the same extent did the
knighthood of bachelors over-value the
ethical potency of love-passion. Even
to this day, a large mass of people still
judge unauthorized sexuality to be im–
moral per se, and another large mass
determine its ethical status by the degree
of intensity of the love-passion which
prompts it. Both are equally wrong,
because they alike ignore the essential
factor of social utility as an ethical cri-
terion.
This chivalry developed among the
only people outside the clergy who had
any influence, and therefore supplied a
new element in the future ideal of mar-
riage. The harshness of the old slavery
was ameliorated. The husband, imita-
ting or competing with the knight, must
at least seem to be a generous and benev-
olent master, granting favors, though
imposing duties and denying equality.
The wife must be a willing and dutiful
serf, whose chief virtue must be the in-
expensiveness of her keeping and the
absence of even a longing for equalities
of opportunity and liberty. Although
this marital chivalry was but a verbal
exaltation and an empty ceremonial idol-
atry of women,f it served a useful pur-
pose in initiating a reaction against the
dominant ascetic mysogyny.
More and more the wife ceased to be
a mere slave who served wine to her hus-
band’s guests, and oftener was allowed
a seat at his table. Gradually those old
legal discriminations against women and
wives, which had their origin when the
wife was a chattel, are being supplanted
by more enlightened statutes. Gradu-
ally, social customs are according a nearer
approach to female equality. Gradually,
the more liberal churches are recognizing
woman’s equal rights, not only in the
pews, but even as preachers. Gradually,
a few are seeing the injustice in the con-
tinued denial of political equality; and
still later will come the insistence upon
Chap. XIV; Gage's Woman, Church and State, p.
fwoman, Past and Present, p. 51.
The Evolution of Marriage Ideals. 9
marriage ideals which now seem new—
but are not—in which the wife will be
economically independent of her husband,
intellectually the equal of her husband,
politically with the opportunities of her
husband, and morally as free and as re-
sponsible for herself as is her husband,
with no sexual duties, but with privileges,
and the recipient of an equal wage for
the same labor.
All the remaining inequalities by which
women are discriminated against find
their sole justification in her economic
dependence during marriage, which is
the potent remnant of her slave-condi-
tion, about which clusters that public
opinion which excuses all the continuing
wrongs to women and seeks to conceal
them under a meaningless verbal exal-
tation. So she has become “the queen
of the kitchen-stove.” The influence of
the church in the matter of shaping
marriage ideals is waning. Organized
bigotry cannot cope successfully with the
silent industrial and economic forces
which compel readjustment.
During the later Middle Ages, while
the actual chattel character of woman’s
slavery was disappearing, all of its in-
cidents remained. A “gentleman” could
have no occupation, except to fight and
to love. The wife was a drudge. She
could and did shear sheep, spin yarn,
weave the cloth, and make the clothes.
While the quality of livelihood and “pro-
tection,” which her lord and master fur-
nished her in return, was never measured
by the quality or quantity of her drudgery
or progeny, there can be no doubt but
that she never received from him as much
as the market value of her labor. In one
sense she was dependent, because her
husband alone determined the compen-
sation for her services; yet there can be
little doubt that, except in rare cases, the
balance was so much in her favor that
more often it could be said that her hus-
band was living upon her labor than that
she was an idle dependent upon his.
This has been changed in a very large
measure by our industrial development.
Where nearly all were peasant, millions
are now city-folk. The shepherd is far
removed from the throng. The home-
made wooden shoes, sandals and mocca-
sins have been replaced by the factory-
made shoe. Spinning is no longer a fire-
side occupation. The stockings which
were commonly knit by our grandmoth-
ers are now factory-made. The old an-
cestral hand-loom does not compete with
child-labor running machines. Sweat-
shop clothing and fashionable tailors have
removed the disgrace, which, until re-
cently, attached to the woman who could
not make her own and her family's
clothes. The cooking, and even the
washing, are largely and often better and
cheaper done at the bakery, the cannery,
the hotel and the laundry, than within
the domicile.
One by one, the occupations of the
house have been removed to the factory.
Only in the rural districts do any of them
remain. Even the care and education
of our children is now better done by
trained nurses and kindergartners and
by professional pedagogues than could
possibly be done by most mothers. Ex-
cept where dire economic necessity com-
pels it, married women have not followed
their work when it left the home. This,
then, brings us to a condition where there
are thousands of women of the mis-called
“better” classes who live in boarding-
houses and hotels, in idle ease, or in homes
where they are figure-heads, posing as
their husbands’ exalted head-servants,
but whose only ambition in life is to be
accredited with respectability, and whose
only occupation is to render sex-service,
mostly barren, to the husbands who fur-
nish support as compensation.
Such wives are not chattel-slaves, but
willing dependents. They are not the
drudging house-servants of old, nor the
co-laborers of their husbands, as in our
rural population. They differ in no es-
sential from the kept woman, unless we
have so low an estimate of the marriage
state that we call the ceremony the es-
sence, and a carelessly misplaced “re-
10
The Evolution of Marriage Ideals.
spectability,” the final test of marriage
morals.
These women have neither the freedom
nor the relative intelligence of the hetairae
of Greece. Doubting their ability for
self-maintenance, or unwilling to assume
its labors, when the methods of discred-
ited women are quite adequate to insure
a husband's generosity, economic and
social pressure induce them to submit
meekly to a double standard of morals
when it does not lessen the luxury of their
own support. The same conditions com-
bined with the great mental indolence,
make them ever willing to tickle their hus-
bands' vanity by a worshipful attitude
toward their mediocre intellect.
Thus it has come to pass that with a
large section of our public the wife's
economic dependence, intellectual in-
feriority, submission to a double standard
of morals, and the acceptance of support
in compensation for a fruitless sex-service,
have come to be a part of our marriage
ideal, and, I fear, is the predominant
ambition of even those married women
who do work.
We hear “eminently respectable” peo-
ple speaking of girls as “well married,”
meaning only thereby to indicate that
they have made an advantageous bargain
for their future support in idleness.
These conditions seldom find duplica-
tions in past history, outside the harem
and our ever-present houses of prostitu-
tion. This situation has perhaps been
unavoidable, and represents the remnants
of our former female chattel-slavery par-
tially adjusted to our modern industrial
conditions.
The course of evolution is never com-
pleted. The still “respectable” mar-
riage-ideal just portrayed, and the other
contemporaneous ideals, mark a trans-
ition in which the chief compelling force
will be economic pressure, and its in-
fluence must now be pointed out.
These anomalous ideals of the past
century, did not long pass without being
vigorously challenged. Years ago Phil-
lips Brooks wrote: “Self-support is as
much the duty of a woman as a man.
Servile dependence in money matters is
no longer deemed honorable.”
With the granting of equal educational
opportunities to women, and a growing
—but still restricted—business chance,
there have come into being, large num-
bers of women who decline to marry ex-
cept on terms of equality to themselves.
Men of the same class have not so numer-
ously adjusted to the new conditions.
The woman of capacity, not compelled
to enter matrimony as a business offering
support, and seldom able to find a suitable
man who shares her advanced ideals,
declines to marry at all. As a result,
the much-envied “bachelor girl” has
replaced the formerly despised “old
maid.” From such conditions were un-
avoidably evolved the ideals of an eco-
nomically independent wifehood so vig-
orously defended by an increasing number
of women, as in Charlotte Perkins Gil-
man’s Woman and Economics.
Among the peasants and unfortunate
classes least influenced by the bourgeoise
opinion, the wives have always remained
the co-laborers of their husbands. These
women, besides raising their families,
have done much of the sewing and drudg-
ery of their more fortunate and less pro-
lific sisters. Among the very wealthy,
women have their separate estates, and
enjoy independence and equality to as
high degree as they are capable of ap-
preciating. Indeed these often have re-
versed the conditions, by taking a male
dependent as a spouse. This is notori-
ously true of those American heiresses
who purchase foreign titles, to which the
acquisition of an impecunious husband
seems a mere incidental detail.
It is precisely in that large and pre-
tentious middle class, falsely claiming to
be the bulwark of our marriage morals,
that we find the largest number of wives
accepting and longing for support in idle-
ness as a return for a barren sex-service.
Notwithstanding their comparative pov-
erty, they, more than all else, love to imi-
tate the ostentatious, wasteful and idle
The Evolution of Marriage Ideals.
II
luxury of their wealthier sisters. They
can discover no easy road to the goal and
retain their respectability, except by sell-
ing themselves in marriage. This con-
dition is receiving vigorous bombardment,
not only from progressive thinkers, but
also from certain reactionaries, who are
seeking a return to ideals of the latter
Middle Ages, where fecundity was the
measure of the married woman's respecta-
bility.
However, our moral progress is very
seldom the result of conscious effort to
arrive at moral truth. The very great
majority of mankind acquire ethical con-
cepts solely by the process of making a
virtue of their necessities. The argu-
ments of Phillips Brooks and Charlotte
Gilman, and the declamations of Theodore
Roosevelt and the Mothers’ Congress,
will have influence only in so far as they
supply a defense to wives for the doing
of what they must do, even without a de-
fense.
It is economic pressure which will com-
pel our acceptance of an economically
independent wifehood as an ideal. As
our industries are now organizing, com-
petition among employers is rapidly dis-
appearing, and the competition among
employés is likely to become ever more
keen. This means that an increasing
number of families will be compelled to
enter the ranks of those wherein the wife
must contribute toward the family main-
tenance, or submit to the family's disso-
lution. Likewise an increasing number
of young women will find themselves
confronted with a choice between celibacy
and a married life in which they continue
to be productive workers.
So long as the marriage relation implies
a difference of financial and moral re-
sponsibility, so long will there exist be-
tween men and women a double standard
of necessities and morals. Under the
pressure of adverse conditions the pro-
vider naturally, if not justly, to some ex-
tent measures the necessities of his de-
pendent wife by his own financial surplus
over personal necessities and pleasures,
and never by the market value of the
services rendered by his “helpmate.”
Thus it is, that the wife's allowance usu-
ally increases as her household and
motherhood service decrease, with the
growing prosperity of the husband. With
disappearing prosperity, the wife's ability
to adapt herself to her source of supplies
becomes ever more difficult.
Reinforced by the transmitted ideals
of the Dark Ages, the average husband's
peculiar sense of justice, or his vanity,
demands of a dependent wifehood, as the
price of benevolence in his economic
mastery, that he shall be the exclusive
owner of her body and mind, and so long
as he believes in his own dominance, under
the influence of temptation, he will deny
reciprocity in these respects.
Now we come to a tracing of the opera-
tion of the economic pressure in its re-
moulding of our ideals of the marriage
state. We shall here discover how neces-
sity is compelling, in the middle classes,
an acceptance of the ideal of an econom-
ically independent wifehood.
An army officer, with an impecunious
wife, endeavoring on a small salary to
keep up the required ostentatious waste
of social life, must almost necessarily
inflict upon himself such worries as natu-
rally unfit him for the performance of
his duties. In Austria and Germany,
to insure the government against this
incapacitating influence of marriage, the
officers, before being allowed to marry,
must demonstrate their financial resources
above salary to be such as preclude these
baneful consequences.* Recently there
has been some agitation in army circles
of the United States over the prospects
for placing similar additions to the mat-
rimonial embarrassments of its officers.
Quite similar motives very often de-
termine employment in the commercial
world. The married man, with a de-
pendent wife, applying for a position of
trust with but a small salary attached,
is silently discriminated against, because
the temptation to keep up the required
* Babel's Woman Under Socialism, p. 137.
12
The Reign of Graft in Milwaukee.
social bluff of family life on a small salary
so increases the moral risk of his employ-
ment as to make him an unsafe servant.
These motives of the employer do not
always become known to the rejected
applicant, and almost never to the public.
However there are exceptions.
The press dispatches recently announc-
ed that the Corn Exchange National
Bank of Chicago had posted this notice:
“Employés of this bank receiving a
salary of less than $1,000 a year, must
not morry without first consulting the
bank afficials and obtaining their ap-
proval.” The reason assigned was that:
“It is nonsense for a man to attempt to
care for a wife and family with an annual
income of $1,000. We would feel our-
selves partly responsible for any misery
which might follow, if we approved of
such a course.” The clear imputation
is that an economically dependent wife,
to a husband with small salary, is a direct
inducement to embezzlement, and pru-
dent business men are unwilling to assume
the moral risks.
All this but makes it clear that eco-
nomic and social pressure are compelling
the abandonment of our present ideals
which, without clearer moral vision, we
refuse voluntarily to relinquish. Thus
we will arrive at a legalized, easily dis-
soluble monogamy, into which woman
will enter on terms of perfect equality
as to her economic, moral, religious and
political status, and her compulsory ma-
ternity will be replaced by the enlightened
motherhood of privilege, in which the
right of the child to be well born will be
the paramount consideration. The re-
alization of this ideal, toward which we
are tending, is still far off, and what
may be beyond is not given me to
know.
THEODORE SCHROEDER.
New York City.

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