WILLIAM L. CLEMENTS


Collated Tok
July 1955

AMERICAN REVOLUTION. [Jefferson (Thomas).] A Dialogue, between
A Southern Delegate and His Spouse, on his Return from The
Grand Continental Congress. A Fragement, inscribed To the
Married Ladies of America, By their most sincere, And affectionate
Friend, And Servant, Mary V. V. pp. 14. 8vo, stitched, uncut.
[New York: Rivington.] Printed in the Year MDCCLXXIV
[1774]
EXCEEDINGLY SCARCE.
A manuscript note in the J. B. Chandler copy
states, that "This tract, which is in verse, is supposed to have been
written by Jefferson."
Evans 13245 under title




A
DIALOGUE,
BETWEEN
A Southern Delegate,
AND
HIS SPOUSE,
ON HIS RETURN FROM
The Grand Continental Congrefs.
A FRAGMENT,
INSCRIBED
To the MARRIED LADIES of America;
By their most fincere,
And affectionate Friend;
And Servant,
MARY
V. V.
Printed in the Year M,DCC,LXXIV.

Bonit

A
DIALOGUE, &c.
IN lefs than a Year,
WIFE. Mark me Sir, you'll repent of't, as
fure as you're there.
HUSBAND. Pray, for God's Sake, my Dear,
be a little difcreet;
As I hope to be fav'd, you'll alarm the whole
Street;
Don't delight fo in fcolding yourſelf out of
Breath;
To the Neighbours 'tis Sport, but to me it
is Death.
I

( 4 )
fubmit for Peace fake, to be led by the
Nofe;
Don't make the World think that we're come
to Blows:
If once but a Crotchet in your Head
have got,
you
For Hufband's Advice, Ma'm, you care
your
not a Groat.
There are many wife People, I'd have you to
know,
Who often have afk'd it, and have follow'd
it too:
If I fpeak but a Word, you rave like a Fury,
The Patience of Job, Madam, wou'dn't,
cou'dn't endure ye:
Had I a Million of Sons, Ah! by the Lord
Harry,
I'd advife every one of them never to marry.
WIFE. Call the Doctor!-by this un-
ufual Palaver,
I fear thou'ft been bit, you fo foam and fo
flaver:
Alas! never,
again ;
ah!- never, elect him
This pride of Delegation, turns many a
Brain.
HUSBAND. You miftook me, my Dear, I
did not pretend,
Every Meaſure of Congrefs, right or wrong
to defend ;
Many

(5)
Many Things they've left undone, they fhou'd
furely have done,
Many Things they have done, they fhou'd
have fure let alone:
The
bation,
England -
- Suffolk -
Appro-
d-m-
-n
Nice Difcuffions, a wife Man will ever decline,
When his Head and his Heart are o'er heated
with Wine:
Men, when drunk, are all Heroes, all prudent,
all gallant;
Stark Fools, become Sages; rank Cowards,
grow valiant :
High Matters of State fhould be plann'd be-
fore Dinner;
A Saint in the Morn, is at Night oft a Sinner:
But grant their Refolves were more abfurd
than they are,
Could you really expect your meek Hufband
would dare
Oppofe fuch a Torrent, when its
known,
very well
He dares not fay to your Face, his Soul is his
own.
WIFE. God blefs us, and keep us! why,
my Deareft, till now,
I ne'er heard you fo wife, or fo witty, I vows

( 6 ))
I proteft this fame Congrefs's a very fine
School;
A Man comes back a Chatham, who went
there a Fool,
HUSBAND. You're afraid to hear all, but
for once I will fpeak,
Wherever I am known, I am call'd Jerry
Sneak;
I bear, for all that, with your Caprice, and
your Tricks,
But prithee, Dear, dabble not in our Politics,
WIFE. Prithee! ha, ha, ha, Prithee! my
Senator grave!
Sir! I'll make you repent of that Speech, to
your Grave;
Why had it not faid, KNOW THEN, like
the mighty Congrefs,
I prefume you'd a Hand in that civil Ad-
drefs:
Indeed, my fweet Sir, when you treat with
your Betters,
You fhould mind how you fpeak, and how
you write Letters.
HUSBAND. That Horfe-laugh is all feign'd,
with much better Grace,
You know Ma'm, you cou'd hit me a Slap in
the Face:
Confider

(7)
Confider, my Dear, you're a Woman of
Faſhion,
'Tis really indecent to be in fuch Paffion;
Mind thy Houfhold-Affairs, teach thy Chil-
Gdren to read,
And never, Dear, with Politics, trouble thy
Head.
WIFE. Good Lord! how magnanimous !
I fear Child thou'rt drunk,
Doft thou think thyfelf, Deary, a Cromwel, or
Monck?
Doft thou think that wife Nature meant thy
fhallow Pate,
To digeft the important Affairs of a State?
Thou born! thou! the Machine of an Empire
to wield?
Art thou wife in Debate? Shoud'ft feel bold
in the Field?
If thou'ft Wiſdom to manage Tobacco, and
Slave,
It's as much as God ever defign'd thee to
have:
Becauſe Men are Males, are they all Politi-
cians ?
Why then I prefume they're Divines and Phy-
ficians,
And born all with Talents every Station to fill,
Noble Proofs you've given ! no doubt, of your
Skill:
Wou'd

( 8 )
Wou'd! inftead of Delegates, they'd fent De-
legates Wives
Heavens! we cou'dn't have bungled it fo
for our Lives!
If you had even confulted the Boys of a
School,
Believe me, Love, you cou'd not have play'd
fo the Fool:
Wou'd it blufter, and frighten, its own poor
dear Wife,
As the Congress does England! quite out of
her Life?
HUSBAND. This fame Congrefs, my Dear;
much diſturbeth thy Reft,
God and Men afk no more, than that Men do
their beft;
Tis their Fate, not their Crimes, if they've
little Pretence,
To your moft tranfcendent Penetration and
Senfe ;
'Tis great Pity, I grant, they had'nt afk'd the
Advice
Of a Judge of Affairs, fo profound, and fo
nice;
-You're fo patient, fo cool, fo monftrous elo-
quent,
Next Congrefs, my Emprefs, fha't be made
Prefident.
WIFE'S

(9)
WIFE. I have faid it, my Dear, and I'll
fay it again,
That your famous Congrefs were a ftrange fet
of men:
To you, my dear Love, I may be fometimes
too pert,
But then, you know well, Dear, it is but for
a Spirt:
Tho' I do now, and then, take the Freedom,
to glance,
At your Dreams, and your Vifions, I mind the
main Chance ;
Regard your true Intereft, your Health, and
your Eafe
And am ever difpos'd, to do juft, as you pleafe;
Sometimes, to be fure, it is not quite conve-
nient,
But fince I ſwore t' obey, I'm always obe-
dient;
I defy you, to fay now; you can't for
Life,
your
That I'm not, at the Bottom, a very good
Wife :
you
Could I fee
Pain?
Then, pray,
in Prifon, or hang'd, without
have not I reafon enough to
complain?
HUSBAND. Pha! for God's Sake, what
Hazard of that do I run?
B
WIFE

( 10 )
WIFE. Pfha, on, but beware, Dear, that
you are not undone;
"Twou'd foon break my Heart, tho' we do now
and then jar,
Were you ruin'd, or taken, or killed in War.
From the Love I bear you, and our dear Girls
and Boys,
I have examin'd this Book, that makes fo
much Noife:
Without feeing thro' Mill-ftones, its foon un-
derstood,
As fure as you are born, this will at laft end
in Blood:
A Cabal, which the high fovereign Power
defies,
No matter whether prompted, by Truth, or by
Lies;
No Matter for us, whether without, or with
Reafon,
In Law, they fay's deem'd, little fhort, of High
Treafon.
Three thoufand Miles diftant, we may crow
and exult,
But can you hope, any State, will bear fuch
Infult.
To your high mighty Congrefs, the Members
were fent,
To lay all our Complaints, before Parliament;
Ufurpation rear'd its head, from that fatal Hour,
You refolv'd, you enacted, like a fovereign
Pow'r.
Acts,

( 11 )
Acts, tho' not enjoin'd, on Pain of Gibbets,
and Flames,
Difobey'd, at the Price, of our Fortunes, and
Fames.
Your Non-Imports, and Exports, are full
fraught with Ruin,
Of thoufands, and thoufands, the utter Un-
doing:
While, without daring to bite, you're fhewing
your Teeth,
You've contriv'd to ftarve, all the poor People
to death.
Into all that's moft facred, you've made-mad
Inroad,
Morocco itfelf, wou'd be afham'd, of your Code.
Pretty Sovereigns, in truth! God help us,
what Things!
To make deep Politicians, or Stateſmen, or
Kings?
If Philadelphia or York, propos'd fome wife
Plan,
From that very Moment, you all branded the
Man
of Senfe and of Honour--------derive
--Carpenters-Hall----
Pieces
alive
murder or rob
-Mob
Inftead of imploring, their Juftice, or Pity,
You treat Parliament, like a Pack, of Banditti:
B. 24
Inftead

( 12 )
Inftead of Addreffes, fram'd on Truth, and on
Reafon,
They breathe nothing, but Infult, Rebellion,
and Treafon;
Inftead of attempting, our Interefts to further,
You bring down, on our Heads, Perdition, and
Murder.
When I think how thefe Things muft infalli-
bly end,
I am diftracted with Fear, and my Hair ftands
an end.
HUSBAND. Youv'e been, heating your Brain,
With Romances, and Plays,
Such Rant, and Bombaft, I never heard in my
Days.
WIFE. Were your new-fangled Doctrines,
as modeft, and true,
'Twou'd be well for yourfelves, and this poor
Country too:
But fuppofing Great-Britain, quite out, of the
Cafe,
And you all fhould be fav'd, by fome high Act,
of Grace;
Lets return to ourfelves, if you've Eyes, you
will fee
Your Affociation, big with rank Tyranny.
Its hardly worth ones while, to show Indig-
nation
At

(13)
At that foolish Bugbear, your Non-Impor-
tation;
For Men do fohunger, and fo thirſt, after Pelf,
That when thoufands are ftarv'd, 'twill blow
up, of itfelf.
You have read a great deal,with patient
Reflection,
Confider one Moment, your Courts of In-
fpection:
Could the Inquifition, Venice, Rome, or Ja-
pan,
Have devifed, fo horrid, fo wicked a Plan?
In all the Records, of the moft flavifh Nation,
You'll not find an Inftance, of fuch Ufurpa-
tion.
If Spirits infernal, for dire Vengeance de-
fign'd,
Had been nam'd Delegates, to afflict Human
kind,
And in Grand Continental Congrefs, had re-
folv'd,
"Let the Bonds of focial Blifs, be from
henceforth diffolved,"
They could not have plann'd, with more ex-
quifite Skill,
Nor have found, a tame Race, more fubmifs to
their Will.
Let Fools, Pedants, and Hufbands, continue to
hate
The Advice of us Women, and call it all
Prate:
Whilft

( 14 )
Whilft you are in Danger, by your good-
Leave, my Dear,
Both by Night and by Day, I will ring in
your Ear---
Make
your Peace :-Fear the King:-The
Parliament fear.
Oh! my Country! remember, that a Wo-
man unknown,
Cry'd aloud,
Tone,
like Caffandra, in Oracular
Repent! or you are forever, forever undone.
bad
FIN I S.

H
Il
Tal


















1224 V., Mary V.
1774
V
a
dialogue,
diligate
Lebewar
konhar