1I;i          I. 
k':, I I  I,1     i_ t
THE
CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
BY THE AUTIHOR OF
"THE NEW GOSPEL OF PEACE."
BOOK SECOND.
NEW YORK:
G. W. CARLETON & CO., PUBLISHERS.
LONDON: S. LOW, SON & CO.
MDCCCLXXII.
- aSt^
%, a 
Fg
/' 9"q
Entered according to Act of Congress, In the year 18!1, by
G. W. CARLETON & CO.,
In the Office of the LIbrar'ian of Congress, at Wai~lu 
i,,,4
i2-4!
11;7 -4 
THE CIHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
B OO0K  S]I:CONID.
CHAPTER I.
1. TAe building of the new Judgment Hall in Gotham.  3. A  Big Thing.
10. Take mystery of Tshtee Tyr,g.  19. Ghar Phee, Kih Zur, and
the rest.  21. Bihltuede's great stomach.  24. He raiseth up Koth,
a familiar spirit. 25. How Slipridic practised the great mystery.
1. IN the days when Bihltuede was overseer in Gotham, and
Slipridic was treasurer, and when they and Peter, surnamed
Beezoueni, and Abraham, whose surname was Hioaxumall,
were chief men of Thur Ing, a new judgment hall was
built in Gotham.
2. And the building thereof went on for many years, and
treasures that could not be told, and that Slipridic, the
treasurer, never did tell, were spent in the building, yet was
it not finished.
3. For Bihltuede had pondered the matter, and saw that
the new judgment hall was a Big Thing.
4. Now, in the tongue of the men of Gotham, a big thing
was not called big because of its own bigness, but because
of the bigness of other things that might be made out
thereof.
5. For among the men of Gotham, and chiefly among
them of Thur Ing, there was a marvellous way of making
much out of little; and among all their makings there was
never among them, nor among the men of any people or
8 6 o
. 0 -
I 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
nation, such a making of much out of little, as in the matter
of the building of the new judgment hall.
o. So Billtuede told unto them of Thur Ing how  big a
thing the building of the new judgment hall was to be unto
them, and that by reason thereof, they and all their kinsfolk
and acquaintance would win a blessing, even greater than
that they had received aforetime, and wax richer and greater,
and go on and prosper, even as no men had prospered since
the world began.
7. Then did Slipridic clap his hands, and he cried out,
Yea, verily, I see the manner thereof, and how it will be
done: it is by the mystery of pursentojobbs.
8. But Bihltuede answered and said, No, my son, not by
that mystery. Verily, the mystery of pursentojobbs is a
lovely mystery, and ought now and always to be spoken of
with reverence; but it is not equal to the doing of this big
thing.
9. Then Hoaxumall answered and said, Lo, it will be by
some new mystery that my lord, the Boss, shall reveal unto
us.
10. But then did Bihltuede cast down his eyes, and look
askance upon Hoaxumall, and smiled upon him, as upon one
that should be pitied and treated tenderly for his innocence
sake. And he answered and said, No, my son, there shall
be no new mystery revealed unto thee, but I will show unto
thee and unto the rest of my disciples an old mystery, that
ancient mystery and honorable, the mystery revealed unto
Jemphrisc, and unto his master, Daniel, the Pharisee, by
their familiar spirit, that goeth up and down in Ouahlstrete,
the mystery that he began to practice at the beginning of
the world, even the mystery of Tshee Tyng.
11. Then all they of Thur Ing rejoiced, and their hearts
were glad, and the countenances of them all were lifted up;
for they knew the mystery of Tshee Tyng, and that it was
-1 I -
48 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTIIAM.
an ancient mystery, and one that had worked marvels and
miracles; and they saw what was to be done for them by
that mystery.
12. But Hoaxumall answered and said, Thy servant knoweth nothing of this matter. Pursentojobbs I understand;
nor is the mystery of lobbeepheeze hidden from me; but of
the mystery of Tshee Tyng I know nothing. Practice it, if
ye will, among yourselves; but ask me not to be a sharer in
your works. I wash my hands of this mystery.
13. And, like Pilate, Hoaxumall washed his hands of the
matter; and the hearts of all that heard him were cast down.
14. But Bihltuede opened his mouth and said, Let him
wash: What is that to us? Pilate washed; but he signed
the warrant; and was not that enough? Likewise it will be
enough for us if HIoaxumall signs our warrants. Do we not
keep him to write for us, and to speak for us? Far be it
fi'om us to trust him ever to think for us, or to act for us.
15. So it was concluded among them of Thur Ing that the
new judgment hall should be built according to the mystery
of Tshee Tyng.  But, moreover, the mysteries of pursentojobbs and of lobbeepheeze were not to be forgotten or set
aside.
16. Then they sought out a chief builder, who should plan
the judgment hall and oversee the building thereof, according to the great mystery. And they found one among their
friends and acquaintance who was learned in that mystery.
And, albeit, the law required that all builders should be
asked to send in plans for the building to the overseers, covered and sealed with a seal, so that the plan that seemed
best in their eyes should be chosen, without knowing from
what man it came; yet was it found that the plan of that
man was chosen. And this was done according to the mystery.
17. And certain of the overseers bought a quarry, ancl.t
49 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
then all the overseers bought of them the stone wherewithal
to build the judgment hall at a great price; for, according to
the great mystery, the overseer that bought the stone was
not the same man as the overseer that sold the stone, and
was in no wise answerable for his extortion.
18. Likewise they sought out chief workmen to do the
work under the chief builder, and to furnish forth the judg ment hall with carpets, and chairs, and all things that were
needful.
19. And they found Ghar Phee, who was cunning to work
in plaster, and Kih Zur, the worker. in iron and metals, and
who made pipes and hollow vessels, and Milah, the carpen ter, and other men, whose names are of no account in these
chronicles; but chiefly one Shamman, whose surname was
Alias, and who was a cunning extortioner in all things, but
chiefly in carpets.
20. But Bihltuede, seeing that these men would not suffice
to make a big thing of the judgment hall, said, These be the
the men that can be paid, according to the mystery, for things
that are needful; but where be they that will furnish those
things that are not needful, and be paid therefor, and which
verily, not being needful, ought not to be furnished?
21. And he sought such men and found them. But all this
satisfied not the stomach of Bihltuede (for his stomach was
boundless), and he sought out yet another man to receive
money from the Treasury, not only for the building of the
judgment hall, but for all things needful, and, moreover,
and chiefly, for all things not needful for the city.
22. (For Billtuede said, Am I not sworn to oversee the
payment of money for the city? Verily I will oversee it.)
23. And he sought such a man, but found him not sufficiently after his own heart. For he sought one who would
never be satisfied, and who could never be seen by other
men.
50 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
24. So he raised up for himself a familiar spirit; and the
name of that spirit was Koh. And Koh received money for
all things, but chiefly for those things that were not needful,
and which, therefore, ought not to be furnished.   And
although Koh was always at the right hand of Bihltuede, no
man hath seen him unto this day.
25. And it came to pass, that when an artificer had done
work upon the judgment hall, and had brought his bill therefor to the overseers, that they approved the same. Likewise
also, did Hoaxumall, the governor of the city; and the artificer took the bill to Slipridic, the treasurer, that he might
receive the money therefor.
26. But Slipridic often paid him not, but said unto him,
Be patient. I have not wherewithal to pay thee. This did
he many times, until the man was weary with asking.
27. Then did some one of the men of Thur Ing say unto
him, I will buy thy bill of thee, and wait for payment. And
the man sold his bill at usury; and if it were for one thousand pieces of silver, he received nine hundred.
28. And then did he who had bought the bill take it, and,
like Phernandiwud, sit down quickly, and, instead of one
thousand, he wrote ten thousand, and went with it to Slipridic.
And Slipridic, who had not wherewithal to pay one thousand,
had nevertheless wherewithal to pay ten thousand;  and the
nine thousand and one hundred were divided among Bihltuede
and Slipridic, and the other men of Thur Ing, except Peter
Beezoueni, and Hioaxumall, the governor of the city, who, like
Pilate, had washed his hands of this matter; and, verily, like
Pilate, also, had signed the warrant.
29. (Nevertheless Peter Beezoueni and Hoaxumall found
also their big things by being of Thur Ing; but they picked
them up in another manner.)
30. And the plaster for which Ghar Phee received payment
would have plastered the heavens above Gotham and the earth
51 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
beneath; and the hollow vessels for which Kih Zur received
payment, would have held the waters of the great river
Hutzoon, and the pipes would have carried them off; and
Slipridic paid Shamman for carpets that would have covered
the streets of Gothamn, and for chairs that would have given
seats to all the men thereof, and the women and the children,
with two great ones, moreover, for Bihltuede and Jemphrisc
to sit themselves abroad upon.
31. Moreover, for the armories, and for decorations, and for
iron chests, and for all other things that were needful for the
city, and chiefly for those that were not needful, and which,
therefore, ought not to be furnished, and were not furnished,
like unto the sands of the sea for number, for all these things
did Bihltuede's familiar spirit Koh receive payment, dividing
the money among them of Thur Ing.
32. Wherefore the men of Thur Ing were blessed, even
more than they were aforetime, and they prospered exceedingly.
52 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHA3M.
CHAPTER II.
1. Jemphrisc and Staycool hunger for more.  2. And would make akkawn.
ah of gold.  5. Jemphrisec seeth b~yssses.  8. But  Ulysses doth
not see it. 19. But Jemphrisc and Staycool profit by the mystery.
1. Now Jemphrisc and Staycool had riches in abundance;
but they were not content with the spoil of Cornelius, and of
Daniel the Pharisee, and of the Query road; and having
much they hungered yet for more.
2. And Staycool said unto Jemphrisc, Let us make
akkawnah, we and our following, and get all the gold in
Oualilstrete. Then will the men of Ouahlstrete have no
gold wherewith to do their business of money-changing, and
they must needs come to us to buy gold.
3. But behold now, there is the gold in the treasury of
Unculpsalm, that we cannot get; but let us see if we cannot
devise some way so that it may not be sold in Ouahlstrete.
Let us take counsel with Ulysses in this matter: peradventure he may be seen concerning it.
4. Now, in the tongue of Gotham, for a man to be seen
concerning a matter meant that he should be shown that
that matter would be to his advantage.
5. Wherefore, Jemphrisc went to Ulysses and said unto
him, Tell thy servant in secret what will be done with the
gold that is in the treasury of Unculpsalm. This he did,
knowing that Ulysses would divine that his answer might
profit him greatly, and that he might share the gains of
Jemphrisc and Staycool.
6. Now, Ulysses was not skilled in statecraft, although he
was cunning to fight, and in all that pertained to war and to
the business of a great captain. But two things he knew
53 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
well: yea, three were the constant thought of his soul: to
do right, to be obstinate, and to keep his own counsel.
7. Wherefore, he looked into the face of Jemphrisc, and
answered him, saying: Is it right for the chief ruler of the
land to tell one man in secret what will be done with the gold
in the Treasury which cometh from all the people of the
land?
8. And when Jemphrisc heard these words and felt the
eyes of Ulysses upon his eyes, he was silent; and he turned
away from the face of Ulysses, and went and hid himself.
For he saw that Ulysses had read his soul and would reveal
nothing.
9. Nevertheless, he went on with Staycool to make
akkawnah, and to get all the gold in Ouahlstrete. Moreover,
they hoped that they should discover the counsel of Ulysses
through his kinsfolk and his friends, by seeing them.
10. And when they had gotten much of the gold into their
hands, and into the hands of their following, Jemphrisc went
into Ouahlstrete, and cried out, Behold, we have all the gold
in Gotham! Buy of us, at our own price, or ye shall have
none wherewith to do your business of money-changing.
11. Then were the men of Ouahlstrete sore dismayed,
and they began to buy gold of Jemphrisc and of Staycool
and their following; and for two days they bought, and the
more they bought the more they seemed to need, and each
hour Jemphrisc and Staycool asked more of them, until it
came to pass that there was woe in Ouahlstrete and great
wailing; for men knew not at one hour what they would possess of this world's goods the next.
12. And it came to pass on the third day that all Ouahlstrete was in an uproar, and was filled with men that had
bought gold, to their own destruction; and it seemed as if
that place was the dwelling-place of demons.
13. But still they bought, going into the snare that Jem
54 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHA3M.
phiisc had spread for them, and flinging themselves into the
pit that Staycool had digged for them; and it seemed that
before the going down of the sun Jemphrisc and Staycool
would indeed be masters of all the gold in Ouahlstrete.
And he who is master of all the gold there is master of all
the men therein, and of many elsewhere.
14. Then did Jemphrisc triumph openly, and went about
boasting and saying unto the men of Ouahlstrete that he
was their master. And there was a great tumult; and a cry
went upthat they should take Jemphrisc and Staycool and
the chief of their following and slay them.
15. But, now in the midst of the uproar there came one
saying, Why are ye thus troubled to buy gold? Behold,
Ulysses hath commanded his chief treasurer to offer the gold
of the treasury of Unculpsalm in Ouahlstrete, that all men
may buy it at the worth thereof.
16. Then the tumult subsided, and Jemphrisc shut up his
mouth and fled.
17. And Onahlstrete was filled with men that had lost all
by reason of Jemphrisc and Staycool; and many women and
children came to want by reason of them; and for many
days the business of the merchants and money changers in
Outahlstrete, and in all the land of Unculpsalm was in confusion because of them.
18. Yet did Jenemphrisc and Staycool get great gain,
although they made not akkawnah. And the gain that they
got was gotten by the great mystery used by Bihltuede and
the men of Thur Ing, even the ancient and venerable mystery
of Tshee Tyng.
19. For they said to the men to whom they had given
promises by the mouths of their messengers and their representatives: These are not our promises, neither will we
fulfil them; but the promises of other men made to them,
they required of them and received. Thus did the great
55 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAMI.
mystery of Tshee Tyng bring riches and prosperity to Jemphrisc and to Staycool, even as to Bihltuede and Slipridic
and all them of Thur Ing.
20. And out of this matter there came honor only to one
man, even to Ulysses, the chief ruler; and the people
remembered how he had rebuked and put down Jemphrisc
at first, even more than how he had confounded his devices
in the end. And thereafter they put their trust in Ulysses
even more than they had done before.
56 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
CHAPTER III.
1. Jemphrisc becometh a soldier. 4. And buyeth a regiment. 7. He
deviseth7 glorious apparel. 9. And getteth himself a war-horse.
11. Goeth with his soldiers to Thub Ranch. 13. Of the manner
of purification at Thtb Ranch.  18. Jemphrisc maketh a camp
there.  27. Goeth to Bosstown.  34. And prayeth there.
1. AND after these things Jemphrisc pondered in his mind
what he should do next, and he bethought him that he would
be a soldier.
2. And this was after the fashion of the men of Gotham.
For he said within himself, I know nothing of arms, neither
of marching nor of setting in battle array; I cannot tell the
hilt of a sword from the blade thereof, neither do I know
my right foot from my left; therefore it behoveth me that
I shall be a soldier; yea, verily, and not a soldier to be commanded and to learn war, but a captain, a centurion, to command a battalion. For is it not according to the use of
Gotham to set men up as rulers who know neither how to
command nor how to obey?
3. Therefore will I take the money that I have gotten by
this mystery of Tshee Tyng and with it I will buy some soldiers; even as Staycool, and Cornelius, and Daniel the Pharisee,
have bought lawyers, and judges, and lawgivers (for cannot
anything be bought in Gotham?) and the soldiers shall make
me captain of their band.
4. Then did Jemphrisc buy some soldiers; and when the
time came that they should choose their chief officer he gave
gifts unto them and made them promises.
5. For he said, Is it not written that ye shall use all diligence to make your calling and election sure?   Wherefore I
57 
THIE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
will be diligent to make sure my calling as a soldier and my
election as chief officer.
6. And when the election was made, behold, Jemphiisc
was chosen chief officer: whereupon he made an oration to
the soldiers and thanked them that they had put their trust
in him and had done him honor in preferring him to be their
chief officer: even as Cornelius had made an oration to the
people and had thanked them for the statue that he had
paid for. For such is the manner of the men of Gotham.
7. Now when Jemphrisc was elected chief officer, he
began immediately to devise glorious apparel in which to
array himself when he marched before his soldiers in the eyes
of the men and moreover of the women of Gotham. For to
the soul of Jemphrisc this was the chief end of being a soldier and an officer.
8. Wherefore he got for himself wonderful garments, such
as had never before been seen on any officer in Gotham,
nay, in the land of Unculpsalm; and he covered them with the
gold that he had won in Ouahlstrete; and when he wore
them, all eyes were turned upon him, for he was marvellous
to behold.
9. Likewise he got himself a war-horse, even one that
smelled the battle afar off. For he said, When I am upon
him it is better that he should smell the battle afar off than
very near; for where is the advantage of such close smelling?
10. Moreover, he thought within himself, if I, not knowing
the words of command and the manner of setting men in battle
array, should not be able to stay my soldiers after I have put
them in motion, when I am at their head, a war-horse will'
make me secure, that they march not over me.
11. And when the summer was come, Jemphrisc took his
journey to a place by the sea-side called Thub Ranch; and
he took his soldiers with him, that he might exercise them in
58 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAMIf.
arms, that they might be instructed in all that pertained to
men of war.
12. Now Thub Ranch was given over to publicans and
sinners. And there were many publicans there, but more
sinners; for the publicans kept great houses for the sinners
to dwell therein.
13. Yet were they but sojourners; for they came down
every year in the summer to bathe and to purify themselves
in the waters of the sea. And the women and the men purified themselves together morning and evening; and when
they went down into the water together to their purification,
the women wore garments that begun low and ended high,
like the garments of the dancing and singing women that they
held in scorn in Gotham.
14. And as they went down into the water, and while they
purified themselves, and as they came up out of the water, all
the other people which were not purifying themselves, gathered
together and gazed at them; and there were scribes that as
they looked upon them, wrote letters telling of their comeliness, and of the fashion of their garments, and of the manner
of their purification, even as they did of the dancing and singing women.
15. And it came to pass that if a scribe wrote in his letters
that a woman at Thub Ranch was comely above where her
garment began and below where it ended, and that her man.
ner of purification caused her to find favor in the eyes of the
men that went with her into the water, and of the multitude
that gazed at her from the shore, that the scribe was made
much of by that woman, and she bought his letters and sent
them to her firiends and acquaintances.
16. But of them that were at Thub Ranch only a few went
thither for purification. And because it was hotter there than
in Gotham, and the sun beat upon the saild without shadow
of tree or of rock, the people of Gotham went there in the
59 
..THE CEIRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
summer; and because it was full of turmoil and confusion, men
of Gotham went there for rest when they were weary.
And the people at Thub Ranch were given over to the lust of
the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life.
17. Wherefore Jemphrisc said, This is the place to which
I will take my soldiers, that I may train them in arms and
teach them that skill in war and in setting in battle array,
whereof I know nothing.
18. And Jemphrisc made a camp there, but the soldiers
would not stay within the camp, but brake away and ran to
the inns to drink wine with the publicans and sinners, and to
the water-side to see the women purify themselves in garments that began low and ended high.
19. Then did Je'nphrisc run after them, and catch them, and
bring them back to the camp, saying unto them, What mean
ye by these doings? Have I not bought you and paid for
you?  And did I buy you to run out of the camp to drink
wine with publicans and sinners, and to see women in the
water? Nay, verily, but that ye might be seen of the
women and of the publicans and sinners as my soldiers.
20. Wherefore he set a guard over them to keep them.
And when he had gone, the men and the guard went away
together to drink the wine and see the women.
21. And it came to pass that on a day he drew out his
troops in battle array, and marched before them on foot.
22. And he commanded them to march swiftly with their
weapons levelled, as if they were running to meet a foe.  And
he himself ran before them; and as he ran, men saw how it
was that he had covered the chest that held the spoils of
Cornelius, sitting upon it, because hlie grew large firom the
head  downward  and from the  feet upward and spread
abroad.
23. And the day was hot; and Jemphrisc panted as he
ran. And as he was running, behold, a wall rose up before
60 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
him. And he said within himself, How shall I get over this
wall? I cannot. Then would he have stayed his soldiers,
but he had forgotten the word of command wherewith to
stay them.
24. And he looked, and before him was the wall, and
behind him were his soldiers running in battle array with
levelled weapons. Then he threw up his arms and strove to
cry out to them.   But he stood before them speechless; and
it seemed as if he would be lifted over the wall on the points
of their weapons.
25. But the chief officer under him, seeing his peril, ran out
to him and cried that he should command the soldiers to
halt. And he did so. And this was the manner of his
teaching them to fight and to march in battle array.
26. And after these things, Jemphrisc broke up his camp
and went back to Gotham.   But now that hlie had learned to
coinmand his soldiers to march and to halt, he wished to go
to Bosstown (which is the chief town of the world and the
place around which the sun, and the moon, and the stars do
turn), that he might show the men of that city his soldiers,
and his glorious apparel, and his war-horse that smelled
the battle afar off, and his skill in making his men halt.
27. And hlie sent officers to the governor of Bosstown, saying: Bid me and my soldiers to visit you as men whom ye
delight to honor, and make a feast for us; and the honor that
ye do us shall cost you nothing; for I will pay therefor, after
the manner of the men of Gotham, with the money that I
l]ave gotten by the great mystery of Tshee Tyng.
28. But the governor of Bosstown invited him not, and
made no answer.   But the governor of the province where
Bosstown was the chief city bade him. So he went, he and
his soldiers.
29. And while he was in that city an exposition of plrayer
61 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
came upon him, and he sought a place where he and his
soldiers might pray in battle array before the people.
30. Now there was a place in Bosstown, in the middle of
the city, which was called in the tongue of the men of that
country the Kahmun.    And it was holy ground.   And
they swore by it, so that was no oath to them so solemn as, by
Bosstown Kahmun.   Arid men of other countries when they
entered there must put off their shoes from their feet, lest
they should profane that holy place.
31. And Jemnphrisc said to his soldiers, Let us go to the
Kahmun and pray there, and we shall be seen by all the men
of Bosstown, and moreover by the women.
32. And when the men of Bosstown heard that Jemphrisc
and his soldiers would pray on the Kahmun, they were dismayed. And the governor of the city rent his clothes and
pult ashes upon his head; and he sent an officer to Jemphrisc,
saying: Ye shall not pray on the Kahmun, you and your
soldiers. It is an abomination.
33. Then Jemprisc said, Where then shall we pray? For
thv servant is a devout man; and his soldiers are all devout
men; and the great desire of our hearts is that we may pray
daily, and chiefly on the Sabbath.   (But in the speech of
Bosstown they called it Sahbath.)
34. Then Jemphrisc marched away from Bosstown, he and
his soldiers; and as he marched he prayed for the governor,
and cried out dahmizize and dahmizole, after his custom of
prayer. Wherefore thereafter he was called throughout the
land of Unculpsalm the praying soldier, and his soldiers, the
praying regiment, unto this day.
62 
THIE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
-CHAPTER IV.
1. The Pahdees possess Gotham and its ofces.  2. They march throngh
the streets thereof   16. The fashion of Gotham inr marching.
21.  The  Awrinjmin.   23.  They  would  make  a procession.
27. Hoaxumall maketh a proclamation. 29. John the son of Oph     mnan setteth it aside.  32. The Pahdees fall upon the Awrinjmin.
37. Jemphisc goeth into the riot.  41. And goeth out of it.
48. Goeth to Thub Ranoh. 49. Singeth a song of victory.
1. Now the Pahdees had possession of Gotham and did
therein that which was right in their own eyes.
2. For the people of Gotham and of the land of Unculpsalm
chose their rulers; and it was the law that every man, without
distinction of persons, should have a voice in the choosing.
Which law was made when there were no Pahdees in that land,
or few of them, and was made for the men of the land, whose
fathers had wrested the land from the king of the land of
Jonbool, and had built it up and made it a great land, a land
of peace and plenty, and one wherein the laws were just, and
judges were upright, and wrested not the law for lucre, and
knew no distinction of persons.
3. And when the Pahdees came by thousands, and tens of
thousands, and hundreds of thousands, they also had, each
one of them, his voice; and they and the men unto whom
they joined themselves (which were of the sect of Smalphri
among the Dimmichrats) chose the governor of the city, and
the officers, and the judges, and the council thereof, which,
in the language of Gotham, were called Kahmuns Koundrils.
Wherefore no man dared to gainsay them in doing what was
right in their own eyes.
4. And what they thought right was that they should have
63 
THIE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
the money of that land, and the offices, and pour out diinkofferings ofjinnanshuger and ouiskee, and lay open the heads
and rip up the bowels of them that were of a contrary
opinion.
5. And if a man which was a Iangkie or a Gothamite said
unto a Pahdee, Why do ye who are strangers in a strange
land seek to be officers and rulers thereof, and to put the
treasury into the hands of men of your choosing?   It
behoveth you to share the blessings thereof with us who have
been willing that ye should do so, but to leave the ruling
thereofto them whose fathers made the land a goodly land,
and who have learned how to govern and how to choose their
rulers from their youth up. Then the Pahdee answered, and
said:
6. Go to; because we have not money and offices in our
own land, we have come over here to get them. It was well
that your fathers made the land a great land and a goodly,
that we might come and take possession thereof, we and
our priests forever.   Stand aside; for we  are the people,
and we need none of your counsel.
7. Is not the voice of a Pahdee as good as the voice of a
Gothamite or a Iangkie, and is there not more of them?
Therefore will we have our own officers and our own judges,
and they will take care that we shall do what is right in our
own eyes. And it was so.
8. Now on a certain day in every year, which was the day
sacred to the god of Ouldayrin, the Pahdees joined themselves together and marched through the streets of Gotham.
And they took possession of all the great thoroughfares
thereof; and this they did that, although they had taken possession of the land, they should not forget that they were
Pahdees, and that the people thereof who, and whose fathers,
had builded the city and made the glory thereof might see
who were now their masters.
64 
THE CHlRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
9. And this was the manner of their marching.  They
clothed themselves in sad raiment, putting on coats of black,
and nether garments of black, and hats of black upon their
heads. For in their own country, even in Ouldayrin, they
had none c f these things, but were clad in tattered garments
of gray and hats of gray without form. For in that country
only the chief men and they that were rich wore black gar ments.
10. Wherefore the first desire of a Pahdee when he was
come to Gotham was to clothe himself in black garments; and
in his eyes they were a sign and a token that he was as good
as any other man, and better.
11. Thus it was that on their great day they clothed themselves in sad apparel; so that there was never seen so many
black coats and hats and nether garments in Gotham as on
that day. But the coats did not conform to the nether garments, nor did the hats to the heads of them that wore them,
but sat upon the tops thereof, or fell down, and were held up
by their ears fiom hiding their faces as a candle is hidden under a bushel; for verily the garments and the hats had been
first made for other men.
12. And over their black garments they put green aprons,
and they put scarifs of green about their necks, and in their
hats they put green branches (for green was the sign and the
token of Ouldayrin,) and they carried green banners, and on the
banners were inscriptions whereof no man knew the meaning.
13. And when they marched their marching was not of one
accord, for no man stepped like unto him that was next him,
nor himself stepped twice alike, wherefore the black hats
that were upon the heads of the Pahdees rose and fell like
the floats of a fisher's net upon the waves.
14. And they filled the streets of Gotham so that the
travel thereof stood still through the length and breadth
thereof, and men could not go from one part of the city to the
65. 
THE CHRONICL]S OF GOTHAM.
other. And the horses and the carriages of them that went
on journeys and of them that rode for pleasure, and the wayfaring men on foot were stopped, or were turned into the alleys
and the by-ways.
15. And so they marched through the streets, followed by
their women and their children, not knowing why they began
to march, or whither they went, or when they would stop,
only that they came out to make a procession.
16. For in Gotham when amultitude started no whence
and proceeded no whither, and prevented any one else from
proceeding, that was called a procession. Wherefore, as. the
men of Gotham  were merchants, careful in business  and
prudent in their affairs, and orderly in all their ways, they
gave up their streets continually to this manner of processing.
17. And so the Pahdees on the day sacred to the god of
Ouldayrin proceeded no whither, and only processed, filling
the streets and stopping all the travel and the business and
the pleasure of the city with their processing.
18. And they processed past the great hall where the
Kahmuns Koundrils met, and tloaxumall, the governor of the
city, came out before it that they might process past him
And Hoaxumall clothed himself in green raiment from the
crown of his head to the sole of his foot; doing this that he
might find favor in the eyes of the Pahdees.
19. For Hoaxumall said within himself, If they see me
clad in the color of Ouldayrin they will think me green all
through, as green as they are themselves; and they will accept
me as a Pahdee dyed in the wool. Then shall it be fuilfilled
as it is written, With verdure clad, with strength arrayed.
20. Now the Pahdees who had taken possession of Gotham
obeyed an High Priest that dwelt in a far country beyond
the sea; and they believed, and worshipped and did in all
things according as he bade them; for in his hands they
66 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
deemed were the keys of heaven and of hell, and of the earth
also.
21. And there were certain other men of Ouldayrin in that
city, few in numnber, who believed not on this High Priest,
and contemned his doctrine, and mocked at his authority.
And these Pahdees were called Awrinjmin. And the former
hated the latter, and the latter hated the former; so that
there was no hatred so bitter as the hatred of these two sorts
of Pahdees for each other.
22. And on a day when the Awrinjmin had assembled
themselves together in their own place, they and their wives
and their children to make a little feast, and the Pahdees
were told thereof. Whereupon many of them came together
with great tumult, crying out, Who are these Awrinjmin,
that they dare to come together and make a feast in Gotham?
Is not the city ours?  We  will not suffer them that they do
this thing.
23. And they took stones and staves and arms, and they
came down upon them and fell upon them, they and their
wives and their children. And some of them they slew and
many of them they maimed. This did they because they
had dared to assemble and feast in Gotham, the city of the
Pahdees. And they went unpunished.
24. For although it was the law in Gotham that all men
should be free to worship, and to assemble themselves together and to speak freely, whether of an High Priest or of a
chief ruler, yet this must not be done in a manner to offend
the Pahdees, who were masters in Gotham.
25. Nevertheless the Awrinjmin were not affrayed; and the
great spirit Bak Bohn entered into them, and the next year
they declared that on their great day they would assemble
without their wives and their children, and that they also
would process, after the manner of Gotham, starting no whence
and going no whither.
67 
THlE CHRONICLES OF GOTIJAM.
26. And when the Pahdees heard this they were wroth,
and they made preparation to assemble themselves together,
and to fall upon the Awrinjmin while they were processing.
And the people of Gotham were troubled for fear that
there should be bloodshedding and slaughter in their
streets.
27. Then Hoaxumall caused the chief of the watchmen to
put forth a proclamation, saying that the Awrinjmin should
not assemble in the streets on that day, because if they should
process the Pahdees would fall upon them in their wrath and
lay open their heads and rip up their bowels, and slay them,
and that it was not to be suffered that the Pahdees should be
thus angered and compelled to riot and to bloodshedding to
keep them from processing.
28. But when the proclamation was read, there was an
uproar throughout the city of Gotham and throughout the
province thereof. For the people of Gotham were content
that their treasury should be robbed and their judges corrupted and their whole city taken possession of by the
Pahdees, and by the men chosen by the Pahdees, even by the
name of Thur Ing; but that all men should not take possession of the streets and thoroughfares and highways, that they
might process from no whence to no whither, and for no purpose, they were not content. And the city was in turmoil.
29. Now in these days John, the son of Ophman, was governor of the province. And he was a I)immichrat, but not of
the sect of Smalphri. And he saw that Hoaxumall and the
men of Thur Ing had gone too far in this matter in their submission to the Iahdees.
30. Wherefore, on that day he came to Gotham and took
the city into his own hands, according to the power that was
his, setting Hoaxumall aside openly; and he put forth a
proclamation,saying that all men that desired it should process
68 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
after the manner of Gotham, and that he would march his
army into the streets to protect them in their processing.
31. Then were the people of Gotham content, and were
glad in their hearts, and they said, Behold the glory of this
city! the Pahdees may be our masters; the men of Thur
Ing may rob us, and their corrupt judges may oppress us; but
they may not cause any man of us to cease from processing.
Great is John, the son of Ophman, and worthy to be governor!
32. And  the Awrinjmin processed.  And the soldiers
marched before them, and behind them, and on either side of
them.  And the Pahdees came around them  and reviled
them, but they feared to fall upon them because of the soldiers.
33. Then certain of the women of the Pahdees, which were
called Bihdees, being more angry than the men and less fearfil, cast stones and dirt at the Awrinjmin, and set on the
men upon them that they should assault them in their processing.
34. Then the soldiers fell upon the Pahdees and slew some
of them; and they fled and stayed not to look behind them;
and there was a great slaughter.
35. And the Awrinjmin continued their processing until they
came to an open space in the city, and there the soldiers being before them and behind them and on either side of them
they vanished and were seen no more; apd no man knew
whither they had gone. So they verily processed no whither;
and the chief end of the government of the city of Gotham
was accomplished.
36. Now one of the troops that John, surnamed Ophman,
had commanded to protect the Awrinjmin was the praying
troop, even the troop that Jeems, the son of Phrisc, the
praying captain, commanded.
37. But Jemphrisc marched not at the head of his troop
69 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
that day   For he said, Peradventure my soldiers may be
behind me and the Pahdees may be before me, and I may.
forget the word of command, as it was aforetime; and in the
turmoil it may come to pass that I may be wounded, so that
I may no more be able to sit upon chests filled with spoils or
on high in my chariot with my concubines, and that I
may be wounded in mine honor before the people by mine
own soldiers.
38. Wherefore he went not, but remained in the house
which he had bought, that the dancing-women and the singing-women might play before the people therein.  And he
sat there without his upper raiment; for the day was hot,
and he would have been glad to lay off his flesh also like a
garment.
39. Now the Pahdees were put to flight nigh unto the
house where Jemphrisc was; and when he heard the noise he
looked out, and behold, the Pahdees were fleeing in confusion.
40. Then Jemphrisc ran out and went to join himself to
his regiment. And he looked not like a soldier, but only like
a common man without an upper garment. So the Pahdees
heeded him not; but in the tumult they ran over him and
trampled upon him; and he laid himself down as one dead.
41. And certain of his soldiers raised him up and carried
him into the house of a baker. Then certain boys gathered
at the door to look in upon him. And when he saw them he
cried, The Pahdees be upon me! and forgetting that he
should seem like a wounded man, he rose quickly, and fled
away by the back door. And when he was in the yard, behold, there was a wall before him; but he clambered over the
wall. And behold, there was another; and thinking that the
avenger of blood was upon his heels, he clambered over this
one also; but behold, there was yet another.
42. Then did he wish for his soldiers to be there, that they
might lift him over upon the points of their weapons, as he
70 
TIHE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
had feared they would do at Thub Ranch. But he imagined
he heard the voices of the Pahdees behind him, and he
clambered again.
43. This did he five times, but still there was another wall
before him, and he heard the voices of more of the Pahdees
behind him. Nevertheless his heart failed him not altogether,
for he saw a barrel standing nigh unto the wall.
44. Then he mounted quickly upon the barrel, and as he
sprang up to clamber over this wall, the head of the barrel
sank from beneath his feet, and he followed it. But he went
not through the barrel, because he so broadened from his feet
upward, and he was stayed by the part where he was largest.
So he stuck fast in the barrel; and all his striving did but fix
him the faster.
45. Then as he was struggling did he indeed hear the voice
of a Pahdee behind him, and his heart sank down into the
barrel, even below the part where he was largest; and he said
to the Pahdee, Slay me not and thou shalt be one of the
Durrektahs, and I will give thee some dancing-women and
some soldiers.
46. Now the Pahdee was an ancient man and a feeble, and
he knew not what a Durrektah was, and cared nothing for
dancing-women or for soldiers; but he was a kindly man, and
he helped Jemphrisc out of the barrel; and putting his
shoulder to the broadest part of him he rose quickly and
hoisted him over the wall; and then Jemphrisc, being filled
with dread of walls and barrels and Pahdees, fled into the
street.
47. And as he fled he saw Staycool sitting in a chariot with
horses. And he leaped into the chariot, and it was driven
furiously to the water side, where one of his ships lay. And
he went on board and commanded, saying, Put off speedily,
for the Pahdees are upon me, and they thirst for my blood.
48. Then thev put off, and he was taken to Thub Ranch,
71 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
where he poured out drink offerings and gave thanks for his
victory. And he sang a song, saying:
49. Bring branches unto me, for I am a conqueror; bring
green leaves, for I have overcome the Pahdees; and sweetsmelling herbs, for I am the delight of women.
50. Put them into a cup, and pour thereon wine and strong
drink, even into a cup of crystal that may sparkle like unto
the eyes of women; and put sugar therein, sweet like unto
their kisses; and ice and hail that cometh down in storms,
terrible like my wrath.
51. Bear it unto me, that I may drink thereof as a victor
drinketh, in honor of his victory. And while I am drinking
prepare me another, and yet another, and bear them to me;
lift them up before me, that they may be as incense unto my
nostrils.
52. And when men come asking, Where is Jeems, the conqueror? where is the son of Phrisc, that overcame the
Pahdees? ye shall say, He drank victory like wine, and
swallowed slaughter like strong drink; and he is gone where
the woodbine twineth.
72 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
CHAPTER V.
1. Bihltuede ascendeth into the Fifth Heavenue. 4. His glory and mag     nificence. 8. Giieth his daughter in marriage. 12. Her glorious
apparel. 18. Who paid therefor.
1. AND before these things it had come to pass that Bihltuede ascended into the Fifth Heavenue.
2. Notv to ascend to a mansion in the Fifth Heavenute was
what the people of Gotham longed for in their souls; and
they labored therefor by day and dreamed thereof by night.
And when a man who had been born and bred among the
Bougheribois began to wax rich, his eyes and the eyes of his
wife and of his daughters turned toward the Fifth HIeavenue,
hoping that they should dwell there.
3. For they thought that to dwell there was to be in
Gotham as nobles and princes are in other lands, and that
they might look down as from thrones upon the women of the
Bougheribois. And if they dwelt there these did look down
upon those, and found their own happiness in their envy.
4. So when Bihltuede saw all the riches that he had gotten
by the great mystery of Tshee Tyng, he knew the time had
come for his translation to the abodes of the blest.
5. And he bought him an house, spacious and magnificent,
and he filled it with carved work and with ceilings of gold
and many colors, and with vessels of silver and gold, and with
rich carpets woven by the weavers in the lands of Jonbool
and of the Pahlivoos. And his wife and his daughters were
arrayed in garments of silk and of fine linen, and with jewels
of gold and precious stones. And whereas the women of
other men who had worn jewels and rich garments from their
73 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
youth up were content to array themselves sumptuously for a
feast, the women of Bihltuede, and also of the other men of
Thur Ing, arrayed themselves sumptuously when they arose in
the morning. And men said that they slept in silken garments and detoirated themselves for their bed-chamber with
jewels.
6. Moreover he bought for himself horses and chariots,
and he builded for himself stables; and the stables were
decorated within with carved wood, very curious and very
costly; so that there were many even of the rich men among
those that paid money into the treasury of Gotham that were
not lodged so sumptuously as the ho,'ses of Bihltuede.
7 And when Bihltuede looked upon all that he had done,
and considered his riches and his power, and that he was one
of the lawgivers of the province, and that the fortunes of the
city of Gotham were in his hand, so that the rich men and
the mighty bowed down to him, and prayed him to favor them
in their business and affairs, and that he who had failed in his
little craft of chair-making, and had been a Bunkah among
the Phyarmnen, and had got his lodging by watching in the
temples of the Phyarmen over Dummasheen, their god, and
that he had done all this not by labor, or by traffic, or by
travail of any kind, but by being an Overseer in Gotham, and
practising the great mystery, his soul was filled with pride,
and he puffed himself up with the thought of his great
glory.
8. And it came to pass that about this time Bihltuede
gave his daughter in marriage. And he made a great feast
that he might show his magnificence to the people of Gotham,
and chiefly to the dwellers in the Fifth Heavenue, even the
Fuss people (for so were the people that dwelt there and in
the regions round about called).  This  did he  because
he said within himself, When they see my glory and my
magnificence they will admit me into their houses, and I and
74 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
my wife and my sons and my daughter will be even as one of
them, and we shall ourselves be Fuss people.
9. Then did Bihltuede decorate his house for the marriage
feast with gold and with silver,. and carved work, and with
hangings, and where there was not gold and silver and carved
work and hangings, there were flowers taken from curious
gardens that were green through all the year, winter and
summer, so that his house bloomed like a garden of roses.
10. And there were minstrels playing in the hall upon
stringed instruments, and upon sackbuts and trumpets; and
the chief minstrel of Gotham played there to do honor to
Bihltuede,'and to receive his bounty.
11 And tables were spread with sumptuous food, so that
thousands of men might have eaten thereof, and wine was
poured out unto them, so that they might have bathed themselves therein. For as for water the men of Thur Ing used
it not, either for drinking or for bathing.
12. And his daughter was arrayed in silk and in fine twined
linen, like unto the spider's web; and her outer garment was
thrice as long as herself, even seven cubits and a span long,
so that it continued behind her five cubits after she herself
was ended. And the cost thereof was five thousand pieces
of silver. And she twinkled with jewels, like unto the
firmament with stars, and there were jewels of precious
stones upon her feet; so that she bore a jewel for each one
of her father's pursentojobbs, and for each time that he had
practised the mystery of Tshee Tyng.
13. And as it was the manner of the Fuss people in Gotham
to show unto their friends and acquaintance, not only their
rich apparel that they wore, but that which they had pro vided for themselves, so that men, and chiefly women, might
know how much money they could spend for the adornment
of their bodies.
14. Therefore Bihltuede displayed the new garments of his
75 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
daughter with her jewels and adornments; and there was
one that stood by to set forth their number and their cost
(for it was the custom of Gotham to value a woman accord ing to the money spent on htr apparel), and she said, Behold,
the Boss's daughter is but two cubits and a span long, yet in
this garment are seventeen cubits of silken cloth, and in this
twenty cubits, and in the other twenty-five cubits; and the
cost thereof is six thousand pieces of silver. And there were
scribes admitted to write it down and to publish it to the
people.
15. And all the day there came and went a great multitude
to look upon the splendor of the house, and the apparel, and
the jewels. But they were men of Thur Ing and their followers, and their women. And Gar Phee and Peter Beezoueni came among them. So they knew whence all this
was taken; and as they looked, they said within themselves,
This came fiom that pursentojobb, and that was bought by
such or such a practice of the great mystery, and this jewel
is taken from the quarry that furnished the stone for the
judgment hall.
16. But they said nothing of this one to another, but they
looked each one in the face of the other and were silent. For
they knew that their own possessions had come to them in
like manner, and in keeping the counsel of Bihltuede, they
kept also their own.
17. And many came to the marriage with presents, so that
the multitude, and the cost thereof, could only be reckoned
by Slipridic, the Treasurer; and the house was full of silver,
and gold, and jewels, and perfumes; and among all the perfumes only one was wanting, even the sweet savor of a
good name.
18. And the treasury of Gotham paid for the presents; for
they were given by the men ofThur Ing, and were themselves
in the manner of puisentojobbs, by Gar Phee and by Thom
76 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
pheels. Moreover, Jemphrisc gave unto the bride a great
vessel of silver, that was paid for by the men from whom he
had taken the Query road. And Peter Beezoueni was there
with a present also.
19. And the people of Gotham wondered; and said in their
hearts, What will comne of this? For there had never been
such a marriage feast and such sumptuous apparel seen in
Gotham since it was a city.
20. And the sect of Smalphri said, Behold the glories of
Thur Ing, and the blessings of the mystery of pursentojobbs,
and of the greater mystery of Tshee Tyng. Verily, great are
those mysteries. And they' looked for what should come
thereafter.
21. Yet were the yearnings of Bihltuede's heart, and of the
heart of his wife and his daughters, unsatisfied, for when
they looked they saw around them only their own sort, the
men of Thur Ing, and the sect of Smallphri; and they knew
in their hearts that they were not Fuss people.
?7 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
CHAPTER VI.
1. Sipridic the Treasurer.   5. The Olephogees.   11. The Scribo who
cried, Thieves.  13. Aboah.  19. Jemobrhine.  20. Betrayeth hi8
companions. 24. The Shamers of Kommurz. 29. Thle people
cry out against Thur Ing.  31. And call upon Hoaxumall to show
then the things for which 8lipridic ha(d paid.  39. AbarnaA the
judge goeth backward.  48. And Thur Ing is broken.
1. Now there wvas a law in Gotham, that the chief treasu rer should once in every year write out an account of the
money that he had received, and the money that he had paid,
and publish it to all the people.
2. But after a time there came a year when Slipridic published no account. And the people of Gotham went up
every year to be taxed, and when they saw that the taxes
were very grievous, and became every year harder to bear,
and when they saw that Bihltuede and Slipridic and the
other men of Thur Ing waxed every year richer and richer,
they said in their hearts, These men are extortioners, and
their riches are taken out of the taxes they lay upon us.
3. And they cried out against Bihltuede and the men of
Thur Inog, and chiefly against Slipridic, saying, Publish
now the doings of the treasury, and give an account of thy
stewardship, that we may see who has our money, even these
grievous taxes which are laid upon us every year.
4. But Slipridic made as if he heard them not; and yet
another year went by, and his account was not published to
the people. Wherefore they cried out the more against him
and against Thur Ing.
5. Wherefore Slipridic took counsel with Hoaxumall, and
he called together certain rich men who paid large taxes
78 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
into the treasury (which men said, according to the law,
might have been made larger), that he might use them to
quiet the outcrying of the people. And these men were of
the sect of Olephogees.
6. Now the Olephogees believe that it is better not to
disturb that which is bad, lest it should be made worse. And
most of them are well stricken in years, but some are young.
For, veirily some men are born Olephogees firom their mother's
womb.
7. And Slipridic bowed himself down before the Olephogees and said, My. lords have done their servant honor in
that they have come to examine the accounts of their servant. Behold now the people cry out against me, and against
the men of Thur Ing, saying, that the servant of my lords
dare not render an account of his stewardship, because it is
full of iniquity, and because the money of the people is taken
to enrich the men of Thur Ing.
8. Far be it from me to do this thing, or to increase the
taxes of my lords, to make up any of that which is lacking.
Look now upon these writings and consider them.
9. And he put before them certain books, and said unto
them, Behold now, and see that these numbers being added
together, do make the sum of those other numbers being
also added together; even as six and four being added togetber do make ten, and seven and three being added together do make ten also. How then call my lords find any
firaud or iniquity in the stewardship of their servant?
o10. And the Olephogees looked upon the writings, and behold, it was as Slipridic had said, and the sum of the numbers
on one side thereof was like unto the sum of the nnmbers on
the other. And they said, Verily, Slipridic is without fraud
or guile in this matter. And they signed a writing saying
the same, and published it to the people; and the cry of the
79 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
people was stilled, and their jealousy and their anger were
assuaged.
11. But there was a certain scribe in Gotham, who gave no
heed unto the writings of the Olephogees, and he set it at
nought, and cried daily, The men of Thor Ing are thieves.
They rob the people, and they divide the spoil. They are
thieves, and they plunder the treasury. Thieves! thieves!
thieves!
12. And he cried thus daily in Gotham, and in the country
round about. But the people heeded not the voice of his
crying.  And some said, This fellow crieth out because the
men of Thur Ing are Dimmichrats, and he hateth the Dimmichrats; and others said, Ile wisheth the men of Thur Ing to
come unto him with persuasions. But most said only, He is
aboah.
13. Now in the tongue of the people of Unculpsalm and of
Jonbool, he was called aboah who told men verities that they
were wearied of hearing. And fiom such a man they turned
away more quickly than from a robber, a fool, or a profane
person. So that it was worse to say of a man, he is aboah,
than to say he is anathema.
14. Yet so it was, that although every man could see that
another man was aboah, no man could see that he was aboah
himself. And so many verities were told and brought to
light that otherwise would have been hidden.
15. But the scribe heeded none of these things. and still he
cried through the city daily, and through the country round
about, Thieves! thieves! thieves!
16. Now there was a man in Gotham, a Pahdee, and one
of Thur Ing, whose name was Jemobrhine. And he had demanded of Slipridic that he should receive three hundred
thousand pieces of silver as his share of the money that was
gottenr t)y the great mystery of Tshee Tyng.
17. And Slipridic, after he had taken counsel with Bihl
80 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHA.f.
tuede, who was called the Boss, said unto Jemobrhine, No, I
cannot pay thee three hundred thousand, for that would be
more than is justly thine. Wouldest thou iniquitously rob
Thur Ing? Be content; take three thousand.
18. But Jemobrhine refused, and he went away to his own
house; and as he considered the matter, behold, his eyes
were opened, and he said, Verily these men are thieves; for
do they not keep from me my share of the money that is gotten by the mystery of Tshee Tyng?
19. Then was the soul of Jemobrhine filled with righteousness, and his mind was bent on justice. And he said within
himself, These men are puffed up, but they shall be brought
down: they shall be punished for their sin, and contemned
for their iniquity.
20. And when he heard the scribe crying thieves, and saw
that no man heeded him, he suborned a man, a servant of
Slipridic, and one that knew his doings; and the man wrote
down upon tables the money that had been paid unto them
that were of Thur Ing, even unto Gar Phee, to Kih Zur, and
to Koh, the familar spirit of Bihltuede, and to the rest;
and the man brought it to Jemobrhine; and Jemobrhine gave
it to the scribe.
21. Then the scribe published it to the people, and cried
aloud, Give ear, O men of Gotham, and hear, and read also
with your eyes! Here be writings that show how ye are
defrauded, and that the rulers of the city are the robbers of
its treasury.  Thieves I thieves! thieves!
22. And the men of Gotham read the tables, and they saw
that it was so, even as the scribe had said; and they were
wroth with the men of Thur Ing, and their anger was hot
against them. And they cried out with one voice, Let Slipridic render an account of his stewardship, or these writings
shall be witnesses against him, and we will take them as his
accounts. We will be no longer put off with promises.
81 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
23. Then Hoaxumall remembered him of the Olephogees
and of the writing which they had signed, saying that Slipridic was without guile or firaud; and he bethought him of
another and yet a stronger certifying.
24. Now there was in Gotham a congregation of Olephogees,which was the chief synagogue of that sect, and which
in the tongue of that country, was called the Shamers of
Kommurz. And the odor of Olephogee filled the synagogue
of the Shamers of Kommurz, so that if a man who was not
an Olephogee entered therein, and breathed it, he straightway became an Olephogee, and knew it not.
25. And it was the custom of the Shamers of Kommurz,
when anything happened that they understood not, to assemble themselves together, and be a committee thereon (as it
is written that men called themselves a committee, because
nothing had been committed unto them), and to publish to
the world solemnly their opinions.
26. Wherefore Hoaxumall said, I will get the Shamers of
Kommurz into the toils of Slipridic, and he shall go through
the mysteries of his office before them, until they shall believe
that three may be taken from two and there shall five remain.
And they shall sign a writing, and publish it, that Slipridic
is just and righteous enough to have saved Sodom from  destruction.
27. And he made proclamation to the people, saying:
Hlave patience, and the Shamers of Kommurz shall make
examination of all the accounts of Slipridic, and publish their
judgment to you.
28. But thereupon the people were more wroth than before, for they remembered the former writing of the Olephogees; and they laughed Hoaxumall to scorn, and would have
none of his certifyings, or of his Olephogees, or his Shamers
of Kommurz.
29. And they cried out against him, and said, Go to now:
82 
THE CHBONICLES OF GOTHAM.
This is not what we require of thee. It is not that these
lines of words may be like unto those lines, and that, being
added together, these figures nimay be like unto those figures.
Behold, that may be made to appear by any scribe, cunning
to write in the books of the merchant.
30. Yea, verily, did not Phernandiwud do the same when
he dealt with Mahravine, and his walk was slantindicular?
and when he owed Mahravine one hundred, he took his bills
and wrote fourscore; and when Mahravine owed him fifty,
he wrote one hundred?
31. But where, O Hoaxumall, be the chairs, and the tables,
and the carpets, and the curtains; where is the plasterer's
wrought work, and where are the iron pipes, and the leaden
pipes, and the wash-bowls, and the other hollow vessels; and
what are the services of the multitude of men, like unto an
army of caterpillars, for the payment whereof thou hast signed
thy name as a warrant unto Slipridic, the Treasurer?
33. Show unto us the things, and not the names of the
things and the prices thereof, written by scribes upon paper;
and show us the work that hath been done by the multitude
whose wages have been taken from us by taxes.
33. Show us the plaster that Ghar Phee, the plasterer,
hath plastered, that we may see if all the city of Gotham may
contain the same.
34. Bring out the chairs of Sinkusall and of Koh, that we
may see them, and sit ourselves down upon them, leaning back
therein; and the tables, that we may'set up our feet thereon.
35. Lay before us the carpets, for which Sinkusall hath
been paid, that we may lie down thereon, and walk thereon,
and spit thereon, as our custom is in Gotham.
36. Show unto us the iron pipes and the leaden pipes, and
the wash-bowls of Kih Zur, and the other hollow vessels,
that we may use them before the Lord. These be the things
83 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
that we require of thee, that thou mayest justify thyself, and
the signing of thy name as a warrant for the payment there of; even these things themselves, and not the books written
by Khonnullee, whose surname is Slipridic.
37. And they were exceeding wroth; and they gathered
themselves together in the hall of Peter the Barrel-maker,
and they made orations to each other; and some said one
thing, and some another; and some said, Let us take Bihl tuede, and Hoaxumall, and Slipridic, and Peter Beezoueni,
and hang them up before the new judgment hall, by means
of which they have robbed the people. And the city was in
an uproar.
38. But a certain man entered into the judgment hall,
where Abarnahli, the judge, was sitting, and went before him
and accused the men of Thur Ing of stealing the money of
the people, and prayed him to unjunct them that they might
pay no more money out of the treasury.
39. Now Abarnah, the judge, saw that the days of Thur
Ing were numbered. Wherefore he granted the man's prayer, and unjuncted them. For he said within himself; It behoveth me now to make friends of the enemies of my friends,
that I may not go down with them to destruction.
40. And the doings of Abarnah filled the people with
amazement and rejoicing; for they said Abarnah knoweth
on which side of his bread is the butter thereof.   Behold he
is going backward on them that put him forward. Is not
Thur Ing unjuncted?
41. And when Hoaxumall heard this, his heart sank within
him, and his countenance fell; for although he had not taken
unto himself any of the spoils that had been gotten by the
mystery of Tshee Tyng, he knew that he had given his name
to be used in the practice of that mystery. Yea, verily, and
whatever man was in Thur Ing, or was one of them that
84 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
governed Gotham, or was a judge, or a lawgiver, or a ruler
therein, must needs wink at the practice of that mystery.
42. Then Hoaxumall took counsel with Bihltuede,-and said,
What shall we do? for Slipridic hath the papers given unto
him for a warrant, and he keepeth them to be a witness
against us.  And  they said, Verily, we must persuade him
to give up the treasuryship for the sake of Thlur Ing, and for
the sake of our sect of the Dimmichrats, even of Tahmunnee,
and moreover for the sake of his share of the spoils gotten by
the mystery of Tshee Tyng.
43. And Hoaxumall wrote Slipridic a letter, persuading
him, and saying that he would gain honor by giving up the
treasuryship.   But Slipridic would not be persuaded, and
sent back a letter saying, Thy servant doth not see it.
44. Now Slipridic was a crafty man; and when he saw that
Hoaxumall and Bihltuede sought occasion against him, and
that they were going backward upon him, and would offer
him up as a sacrifice to the wrath of the people, and also get
possession of the papers that were witness against them, he
sought out a man that he might make him his deputy according to the law of Gotham, and put the treasury and all things
relating thereto into his hands.
45. And he found Andrew, who was surnamed the Verdant,
a just man and an upright, who was a Dimmichrat, but not
of the sect of Smalphri.
46. And he made him his deputy, and sent word to
Hoaxumall saying, Behold, I have given mine office and all
that pertaineth thereto unto my deputy, Andrew the Verdant;
and now is the treasury of the city safe and sure. For, even as
thou thyself hast said aforetime, it is written, In verdure
clad, in strength arrayed.
47. And the men of Thur Ing were sore dismayed when
they saw Andrew the Verdant, in the place of Slipridic, the
treasurer.   And Hoaxumall said, This man shall not sit in
85 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
the treasury in the place of Slipridic. Am I not governor of
the city?  But his protesting was of no effect; for in this
Slipridic had the law upon his side.
48. Wherefore dread fell upon these men, and a fearftil
looking for of judgment to come; and they began to hide
their possessions; and some of them fled into far countries;
and Thur Ing was broken and scattered abroad.
49. But Bihltuede fled not, for he was a bold man, and
moreover he knew the power of his riches. And Slipridic
remained also to reveal the secrets of Thur Ing; for he
hoped thereby to avenge himself upon Bihltuede and Hoaxumall and to purchase his own safety.
50. And Hoaxumall said, What is this to me? Did I not
wash my hands of this matter? Was Pilate removed-from
his governorship?
48. Then Andrew the Verdant made search in the treasury; and he found evidence against Bihltuede, and against
Slipridic, and against one Thompheels, a lawgiver, against
Sinkusall, and other men of Thur Ing.  And the judges delivered Bihlttiede and Slipridic and Thompheels to the officers
to cast them into prison.   But the judges took sureties
for Bihltuede and for Thompheels; and Staycool, the firiend
of Jemphrisc, was surety for Bihltuede.   For all these men
had been in Thur Ing together.   But for Slipridic no surety
was found, and he was cast into prison.
52. And it came to pass that at the time when these things
were done, the day came when the people of Gotham should
choose their lawgivers, their juidges, and their counsellors;
and there was a great commotion. And they choose the men
that were enemies of Thur Ing, and them that were not of the
sect of Smalphri among the I)immichrats.
53. Nevertheless they chose Bihltuede, and Thompheels,
and Jemobrhine to be lawgivers. And these only they chose
out of all them that were of the sect of Smalphri among the
86 
THE CHRONICLES OF GOTHAM.
1)immiclrats. Because Bihltuede and Thompheels were
robbers, and had been given by the judges into eustody of the
officers to be cast into prison; and Jemobrhine was a traitor
who had betrayed his companions, because they would not
give him his share of the spoil gotten by the great mystery
of Tshee Tyng.   Even these they chose; for such is the
manner of the men of Gotham.
54. And still the scribe went through the city and the
region round about crying, Thieves! thieves! thieves! and
the chief of all the thieves is Hioaxumall, who yet remaineth
governor of the city.
55. And of the end of Jemphrisc and of Staycool, and of
Bihltuede, and Slipridic, and Hoaxumall the governor, and of
the coming of the Granjewk to Gotham, and of the doings
of certain women who had a quarrel with their Maker because
they could not be men and would not be women, behold, all
these things are written in the third book of the Chronicles
of Gotham, to be published abroad to all people and all
nations.
END OF BOOK SECOND
87  
NEW BOOKS
Recently Published by
G W. CARLETON & CO., New York,
Madison Square, Fifth Avenue and Broadway.
N.B.-TFm  PUBLISHERS, upon receipt of the price in advance, wil send
aliy of the following Books by mail, POSTAGE FREE, to any part of tohe United
States This convenient and very safe mode may be adopted when the neighboriLg Booksellers are not supplied with the desired work.
Tlarlon Harland.
I 2mo. cloth. $1.50
BDo.    do.      $1.50
MS  ID..     do.      $1.50
N..  odo.       $1.50
do.      $1.50
A -ust Published.   do.     $1.50
a*..        do.      $1t.50
N A..  I      do.      $1.50
B A M..      do.     $i.5o
RA -..       do.      $1.50
P-..    do.      $1.50
H  ETHd.      do.      $1.50
mIss Muloch.
JOHN IALIFAX.-A novel. Withillustration. I2mo. cloth, $I.75
A LIFE FOR A LIFE.-.         do.            do.      $1.75
Charlotte Bronte (Currer Bell).
JANE EYRE,.-A novel.  With illustration.  I2mo. cloth, $I.75
THE PROFESSOR.-do..     do..       do.      $1.75
SHIRLEY.-.  do..     do..       do.      $1.75
VILLETTF-.  do..     do..       do.      $1.75
Hland-Books of Society.
THE HABITS OF GOOD SOCIETY; nice points of taste, good man  ners, and the art of making oneself agreeable.  12110. $1.75
THE ART O  CONVERSATION.-A sensible work, for every one
who wishes to be an agreeable talker or listener. I2mino. $1.50
ARTS OF WRITING, READING, AND SPEAKING.-An excellent book
for self-instruction and improvement.      I2mo. clo., $1.50
A NEW DIAMOND EDITION of the above three popular books.  Small size, elegantly bound, and put in a box.      -  $3.00oo
Mrs. A. P. Hill.
URES. IIILL'S NEW COOKERY BI)OK, and receipts- I2mo. cloth. $2 o0
ALONE..
HIDDEN PATH. —.
MOSS SIDE.-    ~
NEMESIS.-    -,
MIRIAM.AT LAST..
-HELEN GARDNER.SUNNYBANK.-.
IIUSBANDS AND HOMES.
RUBY'S HUSBAND.,PHEMIE~ TEMPTATION.
THE EMPTY HEART.
A novel
do.
do.
do.
do.
do. >
do.
do.
do.
do.
do.
do. 
iL
p.p tug o
THE DEBATABLE LAND
Between this World and the Next.  By ROBERT DALE OWEN, author
of " Footfalls on thlie  ountar of Another World."  *** Price $2.00.
1IiHE SEVENTH VIAL.
A remarkable new volume, by Rev. JOHN CuMMING, author of " The
G reat Trihil] ition," etc.  *** Price $2.00.
-:O:
THE FALL OF MAN;
Or,:h- Loves of the Gorillas.  A racy satire on the Darwinian Theory.
Bv the autht,r of "'he New Gospel of Peace."  * ** Price 50 centa
:o:_
RESOLUTION.
A new book, by A. S. ROE, author of "True to the Last," " rve been
Thinking," "A Long Look Ahead," etc.  *** Price $1.50.
-    O: -:
MOTHER GOOSE, WITH. MUSIThe famous " Mother Goose Melodies," with music an&Tiustmtions for
each verse.   ** Price $2.00.               I
:O:
AT LAST.
A new novel, by MAON HIlARLAND, author of "Aloe'    Kid dea
Path," " Moss S'," etc.  **~ Price $1.50.
MILLBANKA new novel, by MAY   J. HOLLES, author of "Tempest and Siun sine,"   Lina Rivers," etc. -** Price $1.50.
:: -:
THE WIDOWER..-,.-.
A new novel, by the author of "Widow Goldsmith's Daughter," "Chri
and Otho." etc.  *** Price $t.75. 
Tliese books are beautifully printed and bound-sold everwhere. Sent by mail, postage free, on receipt of price, by
G. W. CARLETON &:CO., Publishers,
MADION SQUARE, NEW YOR.
i
*-:;O:
--.o --
-:O:                  --