Or,-~~~3




















------------ ---------- ---------------------




MEMOIR
OF
JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
BY REV. PETER LOCKWOOD
BINGHAMTON, N. Y.
SECOND EDITION REVISED BY THE AUTIIOR.
PUBLISHED BY TIHE
AMERICAN TRACT SOCIETY,
150 NASSAU-STREET, NEW YORK.




Entered according to the Act of Congress, in the year 1 S52, by PETER
LocKWOOD. in the Clerk's Office of the District Court for the Southern
District of the State of New York.
Right of publishing transferred to the American Tract Society.




CONTENTS.
CHAPTER I.
Page
The first seven years of John's life,......      5
CH 11APTER  II.
Commencement of his Christian course,......    14
CHAPTER III.
Residence in iNew York-in Binghamton,.....   20
CIIAPTER IV.
Residence in Cortlandville.......... 52
C HAPTER V.
Residence in Berkshire-in Homer,....... 69
CHAPTER VI.
Residence at Silver Lake,......... 103
CHAPTER VII.
Residence in Ber]kshire again,......... 139
C I APTERt VIII.
Visit to the Eas,............. 152
CHIAPTER IX.
Enters Yale College-His Death,.......   S0
CHAPTER X.
Sumnary................ 213








MEMOIR
OF
JOHN D. LOCKWOOD,
CHAPTER I.
FIRST SEVEN YEARS OF JOHN'S LIFE.
JOHN DAVENPORT LOCKWTOOD was born Oct.
9, 1825, at the house of his maternal grandfather, Hon. John Davenport, Stamford, Conn.
From his infancy, he was considered as a
remarkably interesting child-not only fair
and prepossessing in his person, but amiable
in his disposition, and giving indications that
he possessed a mind of a high order. His
mother has retained the following incidents:
"When between nine and ten months old,
he showed a good deal of temper towards his




6          JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
father, which he thought necessary to correct.
This was done by refusing to take him up from
the floor, on which he was playing. The contest lasted for an hour, when he yielded, and
came to his father with a subdued manner.
After this his father never had to do more than
speak, and he would yield immediately."
That scene in the parlor, I well remember.
I considered it important not only to establish
parental authority, but to settle in his mind
the principle of filial submission and obedience.
Though my heart was pained, and I many
times wished that I had not begun the contest,
yet the issue was actually joined, and I dared
not yield. Knowing, moreover, that I was requiring nothing but what the child could perform, and the grandmother and other members
of the family sustaining me by their countenance, I persevered till he came to me. All in
a perspiration, he put up his face to mine, then
laid his head upon my shoulder, and there soon
fell asleep. I carried him to the nursery, and
laid him on the bed, where he had a long nap.
After which, according to previous arrangement, I went first to him and took him up.




FIRST YEARS OF HIS LIFE.       7
Though the little creature had hardly ceased
sobbing, he received me with a pleasant smile,
and from that time to the day of his death, I
cannot recall an instance in which he willingly
disobeyed me; and never afterwards had I just
occasion to punish him, or to find fault with
him.
"He early showed," says his mother, "a
great fondness for flowers; and when, being a
year old, he was carried into a room where
were a number of jars of flowers, he expressed
his admiration by pointing his tiny finger, and
exclaiming, 0! O! as he was carried from one
to another. This fondness increased with his
years. It was always his delight to range the
fields, and to gather flowers."
"His parents early discovered that he would
be easily alarmed; and they endeavored to keep
from him every thing of a frightful character.
They never punished him by shutting him in
a dark place.
"His father being absent a greater part of
the time, for more than a year after he was
nine or ten months old, his first religious instruction devolved upon his mother. Usually,




8           JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
instead of telling him how God punished the
naughty and disobedient, she held imr up as
a God of love, and as grieved, or offended, if
we disobeyed him. His first prayer was the
little one by Dr. Watts, " Now I lay me down
to sleep," etc. His next was a little form of
prayer that God would bless his parents, his
friends, himself, and make him a good boy;
occasionally mentioning any particular fault
he had been guilty of. He was very early
taught the little child's catechism by Dr.
Watts, and the commandments, as abbreviated. Being naturally very fond of stories, he
was always delighted with scripture narratives, particularly with the story of Joseph and
his brethren, as related by his father in simple
language.
"'His father was settled in Binghamton,
N. Y., when he was two years old, but he was
not taken to public worship on the Sabbath till
six months after.
"Though very fond of handling books, he
was not willing to learn his letters at first;
and, at last, was not compelled to learn them.
His parents, sensible that he was acquiring




FIRST YEARS OF HIS LIFE.      9
knowledge all the time, were not anxious That
he should learn to read very early.
"When a little more than three years old,
Miss Park, a young lady who had been accustomed to teach, came to reside in the family;
and by her his parents feel that they were very
much aided in governing and instructing their
child.
"When about three and a half years of age,
finding him willing to learn, she commenced
teaching him his letters, which he learned in
the course of two weeks. From that time he
took an interest in learning to read. If at any
time he showed an unwillingness to learn, he
was stimulated to it by the motive of a desire
for knowledge, and never for the sake of being
superior to others.
"When four years old he could read the
Bible. Before he was five, he went with his
mother to visit his grandparents; when he was
presented by his grandfather with a Bible,
which he kept and read till it was worn out.
" He was not, at that age, permitted to have
many associates; and those were three or four
boys, a year or two older than himself.




10          JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
" The winter after he was four, he fell down
the garret stairs, and broke his leg. During
the first two or three days, he suffered great
pain. At such times, as he had always been
told that in trouble we must pray to God, he
would ask his father to pray with him —and
prayer would always compose him.
"A little after this, his shoulder was dislocated by falling from a horse. Not long after,
he received a severe gash in the calf of his leg,
by a sharp, ragged piece of iron. Thus early
was he called to endure pain. He could anticipate it with a good deal of resolution, and
bear it with uncommon fortitude. Early in
life, when suffering with the pain of an ulcerated tooth, he was sent alone to the doctor, to
have it extracted.  Meeting the doctor in the
street, he hailed him, and delivering his message, climbed into the wagon, where the doctor, with his turnkey, drew out the offending
member."
In the spring of 1829, the first serious effort
was made to establish the cause of temperance
in Binghamton. At that time two distilleries
were in active operation in the village, in one




FIRST YEARS OF HIS LIFE.        1l
of which an elder of the church was the distiller. Every merchant in the village kept
ardent spirits for sale; and, as was then the
case everywhere in our country, almost every
family was in the habit of using it, or offering
it to friends as a token of hospitality.
The discussion in that village was unusually
warm. At length the cause of temperance
triumphed. The elder relinquished his business in the distillery, although it was all his
living. Both distilleries ceased operations.
Nearly every merchant relinquished the traffic.
And individuals and families were gradually
abandoning the practice of using liquor themselves, or offering it as a beverage to their
visitors.
In the course of this discussion, which continued several years, John took a decided stand
in favor of temperance. And though of course
he never mingled in debates, and was, as such
a child should always be taught to be, only a
listener and a spectator, especially when away
from home, he was firmly resolved to have
nothing to do with alcohol. And when, in the
Sabbath-school, application was made for sig



12         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
natures to the pledge of total abstinence from
ardent spirits, John sent in his name. A gentleman, then engaged in the traffic and manufacture of whiskey, an intimate friend of the
family, on seeing John a few days afterwards,
thus accosted him in a pleasant way: "John,
they say you have joined the Temperance Society. What do you know about the Temperance Society? Say, John, do you know
what you have done?" To this challenge, I am
told, the child replied with great promptness,
"Yes, I have promised not to drink any thing
stronger than water as long as I live." At that
time the pledge included only ardent spirits.
John, however, always afterwards strictly kept
the pledge as he understood it; abstaining not
only from all vinous and fermented, as well as
spirituous liquors, but also from tea and coffee.
While on the visit to his grandparents before
alluded to by his mother, he was the picture of
health. At that time the miniature was taken
which is placed as the frontispiece. The original was painted by F. Agate, who saw the
child in Stamford, and who was so struck with
his appearance, that he requested the privilege




FIRST YEARS OF HIS LIFE.      13
of taking a miniature copy of him. The picture, after having been exhibited in the gallery
of paintings in the city of New York, was presented by the artist to Mrs. Boorman, a lady
who had shown him some favors in the way of
patronage, and who was aunt to the child. In
her possession it remained until after his death.
It was then kindly sent to his mother by the
sympathizing sister, who was among the first
to appreciate her nephew's excellences, and
who had all along watched with parental solicitude the development of his intellectual,
and more especially his moral character.




14         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
CHAPTER II.
COMM1ENCEMENT OF HIS CHRISTIAN COURSE.
THE year 1832 was distinguished as a season of the remarkable outpouring of the Spirit
on the village of Binghamton. During the early
part of the fall of that year, and while attending Mrs. B -'s meetings for children, John
dated his hope of having passed from death to
life. And certainly the events of that period
were to him what the transaction recorded iu
the ninth chapter of the Acts of the Apostles
was to Saul, who afterwards was called Paul.
Though the antecedent part of his life had not
been characterized by breathings out of threatenings and slaughter against the disciples of
the Lord, there was, nevertheless, after his supposed conversion, a marked change in his course
of conduct. The attitude of the enraged persecutor after his conversion-stretching forth
his hands to Jesus, and inquiring with a broken heart and filial submission, "Lord, what




HIS CHRISTIAN COURSE.        15
wilt thou have me to do?" seems to me to describe the position in which the subject of this
memoir should be portrayed, from the period
above-named to the time of his death. Other
Christians with whom I have been acquainted,
and of whom I have read, have had their seasons of declension and of reviving. And though
John had undoubtedly his-as he was always,
in his prayers, free to confess his unfaithfulness-and though there were seasons observable to others when his heart would seem unusually filled with the graces of the Spirit, I
cannot look back on a time in regard to which
I should feel myself justified in saying that he
manifested a lukewarm spirit. And I have
reason to believe that all who knew him would
be ready cheerfully to unite in this testimony.
From the period above-named, his mental
and moral frame seemed not only to receive a
new impress, but to take a fresh start in their
growth. Though he was younger than any
one I had known to make a public profession
of religion, he did not seem to be aware of any
thing peculiar in his case. He was the same
modest, affectionate child as before; and more




16         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
amiable and obedient to his mother: as cheerful in the family, and as active with his playmates. He was encouraged to be so. His
parents and his teacher would have discountenanced it, and grieved if they had seen any approximation to a dull, mopish spirit. For one
of his age either to lay aside the sports of
youth, or to assume the manners of an adult,
they would have considered as unseemly, as it
would have been for him to appear dressed in
the costume of a full-grown man. When he
was a child, his parents loved to see him act and
speak as a child; satisfied if, when he became
a man, he should put away childish things.
At the time he made a public profession of
religion, he was attending a select school in
the village, taught by S. W —, a pious young
man. He had already, under the tuition of
the young lady above referred to, acquired a
tolerably accurate knowledge of geography,
was well drilled in Colburn's Mental Arithmetic, and "had recited the greater part, if
not the whole, of Mrs. B-'s Conversations on
Natural Philosophy. While under Miss P-'s
tuition, a course of astronomical lectures was




HIS CHRISTIAN COURSE,        17
delivered in the village. The family attended,
and John among the rest. After returning
home on one occasion, having been exceedingly
interested in the illustration by diagrams, he
said to Miss P  -,'I am very much obliged to
you for teaching me natural philosophy; for if
I had not studied it, I could not have understood half so well the subject of the lecture.'"
At Mr. W  -'s school, he commenced the
study of the Latin and the Greek; and in both
these studies made rapid progress.
At that age he used, at our seasons of family
worship in the morning, to stand by my side,
and read one of Jay's Exercises for the Closet:
and the natural, simple, yet expressive style of
his reading never failed to arrest the attention
of those who heard him. At our family worship on the Sabbath, he not only read in the
morning the exercise from Jay, but then, and
at evening also, followed his father in prayer.
And his prayers on these cccasions, though
simple and childlike, were nevertheless the
effusions of his own heart, and were appropriate. Even at that early age, he thought
much about the situation of those who had
I.ockwood.          2




18          JOHIN D. L O CKWOOD.
never heard of the Saviour; and rarely, if ever,
failed to remember the heathen in his prayers.
This practice of following his father in prayer,
at our seasons of family worship on the Sabbath, was continued when both were at home;
and to it is perhaps to be attributed, in no
small degree, the promptitude with which he
was always ready to engage in prayer, and in
any public religious exercises.
His heart was early set on being a missionary; and such desires were always carefully
and gratefully fostered by his parents. He
loved to hear the cause of missions presented.
Miss P., in a letter of condolence to his mother after his death, writes, " How much he used
to say, when a very little boy, about being a
missionary. Well do I remember his cheerful,
happy countenance, his quick and bounding
step, as he returned from an evening lecture,
having listened to the presentation of the wants
and claims of the far west. I seem now to
hear his voice exclaiming,' Mother, if you and
I live ten years from this time, I hope you will
see me a missionary."'
Shortly after his death, an early companion




HIS CHRISTIAN COURSE.        19
of his, Rev. Silas McKinney, now missionary
in Africa, in an affectionate letter of sympathy,
relates an interesting fact which illustrates the
character of his early piety: " Once, when he
was but a child, I remember attending a donation-visit at your own house, and in the levity
of the company around us he came to me, and
desired me, with one or two other boys, to retire with him to an adjoining room for a season
of prayer, as being more suitable to the occasion than the foolish mirth of many about us."
This occurred when he was not more than seven
and a half years old.




20          JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
CHAPTER  III.
RESIDENCE IN NEW YORK-IN BINGHAMTON.
THE winter of 1833-4 having been spent
by his father at Richmond, Virginia, with a
view to recruiting his health, John was placed
as a pupil in the Washington Institute, New
York; and being kindly invited by his aunt,
Mrs. B-, to make her house his home, he was
in her family and under her care as a son.
Frequently has that aunt been heard to say,
that during his residence in her family he
never in a single instance disobeyed her. The
testimony also which his teachers gave from
time to time of his deportment in school, and
of his proficiency in his studies, was gratifying.
But extracts from his own letters will illustrate
in the most satisfactory manner the character
of his mind, his dutiful and affectionate disposition, and also his standing as a scholar.
In his first letter, dated Nov. 23, 1833, he
says, in the simplicity of childhood, being then
only a little over eight years of age, "I like the




RESIDENCE IN NEW YORK.        21
school very much, but mother has not prepared
me for boarding yet. If you will tell me that
I need not board at the Institute, I shall be very
glad: first, because I do not like to go away
from my friends; and secondly, because I do
not like to sleep in the same room with other
boys."
The next is dated the 11th of the succeeding
month:
"MY DEAR FATHER-A little before I received your letter, I began to see that it was
wrong to ask you to excuse me from boarding
at the Institute, and that I ought to sacrifice
my will to yours, but I thank you for excusing
me. The affairs of my school are, at present,
very favorable with me. In my Virgil I am in
the Second Book; in my arithmetic, near the
fractions; and in my Greek, nearly as far as I
have ever been. You must write to me soon;
and please tell me if you think I improve in my
writing. I am your affectionate son,
"JOHN D. LOCKWOOD."
" NEW YORK, Jan. 14, 1834.
"MY DEAR FATHER-I am very sorry that
you have cause to find fault with my writing;




22         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
and I hope that you will not have reason to in
future, as it will be my endeavor to improve.
In reply to your second question, I fear that
my spirit of religion is declining; and I do not
feel as devoted to God as I wish, or ought to
do, or as I did last winter. I pray every morning and evening; and my subjects of prayer
are for my parents, and that God would forgive
my sins, and make me to grow up and be a
useful man. I have found no opportunity of
doing good among my school-fellows; but I
have the pleasure to inform you that one of
them has recently joined the church, a son of
Dr. I. I hoped and thought that you would
write to me on the subject of religion, in some
of your letters. Now I suppose that you would
like to know how I get along in school. My
studies are Latin, arithmetic, dictation, writing, and Greek.
" In Latin I have progressed as far as the
Second Book of the 2Eneid, and am reviewing.
In arithmetic, I am pretty successful; and am
nearly at the head of the class. In dictation,
I have been at the head, but am sorry to say
that I have gone down to-day. As to my writ



RESIDENCE IN NEW YORK.        23
ing, you must judge for yourself; and as to
my Greek, I am nearly to the Fables."' NEW YORK, Feb. 17, 1834.
"MY DEAR FATHER-I was very happy to
receive your letter, and to hear that you were
well. My missionary box was opened Monday
of the same week with New-Year, and two
dollars and two or three cents were found in it.
I commenced studying French last week; and
the reason that I have not attended to it before
this winter is, because I thought it would interfere with my other pursuits; but I now find
I can attend to it with perfect convenience. I
have read a good deal in the Young Christian.
I think it is a very excellent book, and intend
to read in it frequently. I read a part of the
Missionary Herald every month, and feel interested in the missionary intelligence. I very
often am tempted to drink tea or coffee; but by
the assistance of aunty, or some one else, I am
able to resist it, and to persevere in my plan of
drinking cold water."
I find only one more directed to me at Richmond, and that is under date of April 26, 1.834,




24          JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
in which, after a lapse of more than two months,
he thus writes:
" MY DEAR FATHER-I am very sorry that I
have not written to you before, and I fear that
you will be very much displeased. The reason
that I have not done so before is, that I have
not had time. I rise at half past five o'clock,
and go to school; and when I get there, go into
a cyphering class. After that, I eat breakfast
there. Then we have an intermission; and
when school goes in, I go into an English parsing class, and go on with my other studies as
usual. I learn all my lessons very well, except my Greek: and in that I have fallen off
the last few weeks a great deal, but am now a
little better in it. I spend my evenings mostly
in studying my Latin lesson.
" There has been a great deal of excitement
this election, two or three weeks ago. Even
the boys seemed to enter into the spirit of it.
As I was coming home from school the last
day of the election, I was attacked by some
of the low rough boys of the city, who asked
me if I was for Clay; and then pushed my cap




RESIDENCE IN NEW YORK.        25
off, and threw me down, and used me very ill.
It was with some difficulty that I got away
from them.
" I am frequently tried by the laughter of
the boys at school, on account of my being a
Christian; but I am not ashamed of Christ at
any time, though sometimes I am almost overcome by them. I mean to get more to put in
my mission-box this year than I did last. I
have found again that I cannot attend to French,
as that would be loading me with studies. In
Sunday-school I am in the second class, and
am studying in Acts. I take a great deal of
interest in it."
The next winter I opened a classical school
in Binghamton, of which John was a member
from its commencement; and though among
the youngest, he was among the foremost in all
his studies, and universally beloved by his companions.
After having been associated in study about
eighteen months with those who had taken
their departure for college, he was permitted
to pursue pretty much his own course, reciting




26         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
with those who were in classes below him, and
occasionally assisting me in teaching the smaller
children.
His disposition will appear from one or two
incidents which are remembered, as having occurred during this period. At one time when,
innocently and from over-eagerness in play, he
had been in danger of hurting a younger boy,
I called to him with some earnestness; and on
his coming to me, said to him, " My dear son,
I can't punish you, I know you would not intentionally injure the boy, but you must be
careful."  John left me, but after a little while
returned; and as he took his seat beside me,
said, with a sweet and modest expression, as
he looked into my face, "Father, you don't
know how much good that way of speaking
did to me; it did me a great deal more good
than if you had whipped me."
One evening, having, for some cause or
other which I have now forgotten, found fault
with him, I required him to retire to his room
without a candle. The next morning early, I
found on my study-desk a note, of which the
following is a copy:




RESIDENCE IN NEW YORK.       27
" DEAR FATHER —I acknowledge that I have
done very wrong to-night, and also that I have
been in the constant habit of disobeying you.
I asked the pardon of God last night. Will
you not forgive me? I will submit to any
punishment you think fit, provided you will
forgive me.
"Your affectionate son,
"J. D. LOCKWOOD."
The ingenuous confession, and the true spirit
of penitence which it manifested, so affected
me, that I folded it up, and carefully laid it in
my pocket-book, where it has since remained.
On the morning of the 7th of February, 1837,
and while in the enjoyment, for aught we knew,
of his usual good health, he fell backwards on
the floor slightly convulsed, and was, for some
time after he was taken up, unconscious. No
one was with him but the hired girl of the
family. He had unintentionally anticipated
by an hour his usual time for rising, and was
just expressing his joy at the circumstance,
saying to her, "Well, we shall live one hour
longer than we otherwise should," when he fell.
Recovering from this attack, however, he




28         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
was able to resume his duties as usual; and
with encouragement drawn from physicians
and others, his friends fondly hoped that the
peculiar circumstances of the case might account for this attack, and that there was no
reason for apprehending another. His parents,
however, were not without much anxiety. On
the second of June following, and when the
fears of his parents had begun to subside, he
was attacked again, while engaged in his mathematical studies in the school-room. It was
then settled that the fits were epileptic; and
he was immediately taken from his studies,
and put under the care of a physician.
On the 11th of August, while on the roof of
a building which a carpenter was shingling, he
was seized more violently than ever. He had
five or six fits in succession.
On the 27th of September, while standing
on a back shed of the house, he was again
taken; and though he had only three fits at
that time, they were peculiarly distressing.
At this time, quite a gash was made in his
head by his fall against the wheel of a wagon.
After one or two other slight attacks, he had




RESIDENCE IN CORTLANDVILLE.    29
not another for a year, during which time his
father had been stationed in the ministry at
Cortlandville, N. Y.  Having been so long
without any attack, and being strongly desirous to resume his studies, he was permitted
to take up his Latin and his algebra. I was
astonished and alarmed, however, when I perceived the extent of his lessons. His mind
seemed to set off with impetuosity, as if anxious to redeem lost time. I apprized the dear
child of my fears, and he did endeavor to be
moderate. His lessons seemed to cost him but
little effort. On the evening of November 26,
1838, and while sitting with the family with
his slate full of algebraical characters on the
table before him, the frightful paroxysm again
seized him.
As an illustration of the calm and Christian
manner in which he regarded this attack, I
quote the following from a letter to 3Miss P —,
his first teacher:
" CORTLANDVILLE, Feb. 8, 1839.' DEAR LouIsA-I think, when I wrote to
you last, I was pursuing my studies at home
during the evenings; had marked out my plan




30         JOHN F. LOCKWOOD.
for the winter, and was getting as much en.
grossed as ever with my books. But God saw
that it was not proper for me to commence
study yet; and he therefore gave me a kind
and gentle hint to that effect. A day or two
after I had been exulting in the thought that
I had gone a year without any fits, I was again
brought low. But, as I said before, it was a
gentle admonition; and very light, compared
with most that I have had. Since that time,
I have been careful to take regular exercise
every day, and to avoid all close attention to
any one thing; and I think I have been gaining rapidly. I have sawed all the wood our
family has burned this winter."
There is great reason to fear, that under
this affliction, as well as others of a similar
kind, the son was more calm than his father. I
reproached myself for allowing him to touch
a book; and the point seemed to be settled in
my mind, that much as our hearts were set
on seeing our dear son engaged in the ministry,
we must relinquish the idea and be satisfied
to have him a useful farmer or mechanic.




RESIDENCE IN CORTLANDVILLE.    31
This determination was made known to him;
and it is affecting to recall the docility and submission with which he received it. It must
have been to him a sore disappointment. He
had such a thirst for useful knowledge, such a
desire for imparting instruction, such a passion
for doing good. During the winter he spent in
Binghamton, he had been led to fear that such
might be the result at which his parents would
be forcea ta arrive; and one of the deacons in
the caurun being an ingenious mechanic, he
used regularly to visit his shop and endeavor
to get some knowledge of machinery, and some
instruction in the use of tools. In the course
of that winter he made several fancy articles,
and among the rest a stand for the younger
children, which has been in use in the family
ever since. That same winter he taught, in my
school-room, the children of a neighbor's family,
being strongly urged to do it by their mother.
In a letter to one of his cousins in New York,
dated January 17, 1838, I find the following
allusion to this subject: "A gentleman by the
name of W - has lately moved into the neighborhood. There are no good schools here; and




32          JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
as Mrs. W-    did not wish her boys to associate
with those they would find in the village, she desired me to instructthem. Theyaccordinglycome
over into father's school-room, where I set them
lessons and hear them recite, or in other words,'Ikeep school.' I endeavor to open and close
the school as a Christian should, with prayer."
In this same letter pleasing evidence is also
furnished of his love for souls. He thus inquires about another cousin, who was not at
that time, as he is now, a professor of relieioa:
" Do you know how dear William feels on the
subject of religion? Is he any more anxious
about the salvation of his soul than he has been
hitherto? I intend to write to him by this opportunity, if I have time. I pray for him every
night and morning, and sometimes have had
blessed seasons in pleading for him at the throne
of grace." And then turning to his correspondent, his senior in age and a professor of religion, he thus continues: "And now, dear
George, permit me to ask, How is your spiritual health? Those resolutions of James Brainerd Taylor, which you referred to, are very
good ones. He is the only one that I remem



RESIDENCE IN CORTLANDVILLE.    33
ber who went through college unharmed by its
polluting touch. May you be another one, and
may you be much farther advanced in the
divine life after having gone through college,
than you were when you entered. I hope that
you do exert a heavenly influence around you,
and may be the means of doing great good in
the station which Providence has allotted to
you. I should think there was a great field
for usefulness in college; and you may, if you
try, be the means of leading many souls to the
fold of Christ. I pray for you every day, as I
expect you do for me: and 0, may we both
become, as J. B. Taylor expresses it, "uncommon Christians;" may we live near the throne
of grace; may we become ornaments to the
ministry, if we shall be permitted to enter it;
and may we at last meet in heaven to dwell
with Christ, FOR EVER. It will be two months
on Friday since I have had a fit, and I hope
that the means now in use may entirely remove my disease. I hope you will pray not
only for my recovery, but also that I may be
resigned to God's will concerning me.
"Your affectionate cousin,    J. D. L."
Lockwood.          3




34         JOIIN D. LOCKWOOD.
That winter he first asked a blessing at the
table during his mother's absence. In a letter
to me at Cortland, dated Dec. 20, 1837, he
thus alludes to the circumstance: "Last evening, and this evening also, mother has been
away from supper. And the first time H,"
a young man residing in the family, "asked
the blessing; but the last time lie was away.
As I knew I should have to take up the cross
some time or other, I broke the ice. Although
I did not succeed as well as I wished, I think
it must have been from this cause that Rt
has behaved himself much better than he generally does when mother is absent."
With his cousin George he had exchanged
several letters prior to the above; and in each
the case of William is introduced in a way to
show that for several years he had made his
conversion a special subject of prayer to God.
Under date of Nov. 4, 1835, when he was a
little over ten years of age, he thus writes:
" DEAR GEORGE-" I often feel the want of a
companion with whom I can be familiar. I
find that it is a good plan when I retire at




RESIDENCE IN CORTLANDVILLE.    35
night to pray, to ask myself the question, Have
I this day done any thing for the glory of God?
Nearly every night that I have applied this
question, I have been compelled to answer in
the negative.
"I should like to know how William feels on
the subject of religion. I am longing to catch
the good news that he is converted. I pray for
him every night and morning, and hope that
the day is not far distant when he will be trusting in God."
In the next he writes, "William has now
entered upon a scene where he will be exposed
to many temptations; and how much grace
should he have to resist them. Let us wrestle
with God in prayer-take hold of his promises
and cling to them, and he will assuredly grant
us the blessing."
Later still —May 20, 1837-he thus writes:
"DEAR GEORGE-Cousin William's accident
ought to remind us of the uncertainty of life.
I hope that this accident-Oh, that it may not
be in the end a misfortune -will be blessed to
his good. Now, perhaps, it would be as fit a




36         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
time as any to present before him the subjectthe worth of his soul. I wrote a letter to him
on that subject this spring. But I found that
all my powers were too feeble to express the
danger there would be in rejecting Christ, and
the happiness of following him. If it is possible for you, I wish you would go over to Brooklyn and talk with him upon this all-important
subject. In this way you might be the means
of saving his soul. If this affliction be indeed
blessed to the salvation of his soul, as I humbly
hope and pray it may, we shall both of us have
double the amount of happiness in his company
that we had before.
I"You speak of your intention to study for
the ministry. I am glad you have come to
that resolution. It has been my design to be
a minister nearly ever since I entertained a
hope. I expect, Providence permitting, to be
a missionary to China; and how pleasant it
would be for us both to be ministering to the
spiritual wants of that nation. Perhaps you
have already fixed upon your future sphere of
labor. If you have not, may I ask you if you
will direct your thoughts thither? But if you




RESIDENCE IN BINGHAMTON.        37
have, I do not mean to divert your attention
from it, by any means. I lately took up'Henry
Mlartyn,' and was peculiarly impressed with
the thought, if so good a man as he speaks in
such abasing terms of himself, how ought I to
be humbled in the dust."
In a subsequent letter to the same, he writes,
"Have there been any conversions in college
lately?  Is there a good state of feeling there?
And how is your own mind? I think that we
who expect to become ministers of the gospel,
ought to be peculiarly careful to set a good example before the world. And we ought to be
faithful to our companions, in order to prepare
us for the faithful discharge of our future duties. I know I do not perform my duty as I
should. The fear of man, that detestable, timeserving spirit, is a great drawback to the Christian; but it ought to be overcome."
During this last winter of his residence in
Binghamton, he drew up the following document; which, after his death, was found in his
drawer, among his papers, filed, and labelled,
" Self-consecration:"




38          JOIIHN D. LOCKWOOD.
"'BiNGHAMTON, Jan. 1, 1838.
"As I am now commencing a new year, it is
important that I should commence it aright.
And, in my opinion, the proper way is, in praising God for the mercies of the past year, in repenting of the sins which have been committed,
and in forming resolutions to live more to the
glory of God during the year to come.
"In reviewing the past year, I find that although my health has not been as good as on
some former years, yet it has been not worse
than I deserve; and I have great reason to bless
the Lord that I have enjoyed such a measure of
health as I have, while others have been racked
with pain; and in circumstances, too, that have
rendered it doubly painful. I have suffered but
very little, bodily; and have been blessed with
a comfortable home, kind friends, and a thousand other mercies, which God is continually
sihowering down upon me. It is certainly true
of me, if of any one, that in the midst of affliction God has remembered mercy. And I can
say with the psalmist,'What shall I render
unto the Lord for all his benefits towards me?'
"I have also to bless the Lord for spiritual




RESIDENCE IN BINGHAMTON.       39
as well as temporal benefits. I think I can
truly say, that during the past year I have
grown in grace more than in any year previous.
I bless and praise God that he has preserved
me from falling, in all my wanderings; and
has given me grace to make those advances in
divine life which I have.
"But while I praise God for his goodness to
me, it becomes me to repent, and to humble
myself in dust and ashes on account of my
sins. My sins have been many and aggravated. I have oftentimes wandered from the
fold of Christ; and have, times and ways without number, disgraced the religion I profess,
both by sins of omission and of commission.
My daily walk and conversation has not been
such as becomes a disciple of the meek and
lowly Jesus. And I fear that my example has
done a great injury to the cause of Christ:
how much the judgment-day only will show.
"And now, Lord, I humbly beseech thee to
pardon all my sins and forgive my iniquities.
Oh, blot them out of the book of thy remembrance; and may they no longer be remembered before thee. I now, on the first, day of




40         JOHIN D. LOCKWOOD.
the new year, consecrate myself anew to thy
service. If it should please thee to restore my
health entirely, and to preserve me from any
more attacks of my disease, my life shall be
entirely devoted to thy service. But if it is not
consistent with thy will, Oh Lord, I beseech
thee that I may be prepared for whatever is
preparing for me. And I do now resolve, God
helping me, that in whatever circumstances I
am placed, I will hereafter endeavor to do more
for thy glory and the good of souls than I have
hitherto done. Dear Saviour, I do now beseech thee to enable me to keep these resolutions, and to become an uncommon Christian.
And finally, when thou hast done serving thyself with me here below, may I be received
into the heavenly mansions, for the Redeemer's
sake. Amen."
A pious lady in Binghamton recently portrayed to me one of his exemplary traits, as a
member of the Sabbath-school in Binghamton.
" He always appeared in school with his lesson
well studied. And when, as at that time was
frequently the case, some point of supposed




RESIDENCE IN BINGHAMTON.       41
difficulty in the lesson would be raised by the
superintendent in order to elicit the energies of
the school, John, though but a child, would frequently be seen to arise, and with modesty
would say, in reference to the point in question,'Dr. Scott in his Commentary says, thus
and so; Matthew Henry, in his Exposition,
expresses this opinion; or, Adam Clarke thinks,
thus.'"
At this time the Sunday-school was organized, as far as practicable, into a Juvenile Missionary Society. Its meetings were held at
every Sunday-school monthly concert. At
which time the congregation would listen to
an address from one of the members, previously
designated for that purpose. Among John's
papers recently found, are two addresses for
the Sunday-school Missionary Society, Binghamton. One, delivered by him Dec. 12, 1836,
or when he was eleven years and two months
old. The other, March 12, 1838, fifteen months
after.
The direct object of the society was, to procure funds sufficient to sustain heathen children in the mission schools at Batticotta and




42          JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
Oodooville, Ceylon. One year the society sustained four children, though ordinarily they
sustained only two.
The subject of his first juvenile lecture is,
The Ceylon Mission. " This mission," he says,
"at the present time is in a very prosperous
condition, and has encouraging prospects. The
first missionaries from the American Board to
Ceylon sailed Oct. 23, 1815, taking with them
a printing-press; and soon after their arrival
commenced schools for the children, in one of
which there were soon sixteen boys able to read
the Tamul and English Testament easily.  In
1817, the prospects of the mission were very
flattering. Although the number of schools at
Ceylon was less than it was in Bombay, yet
the system of instructing children and youth
was promising much good.  At Batticotta,
Oodooville, Tillipally, and several other places
on the island, there has recently been an outpouring of the Spirit. The whole number of
admissions to the church in March, 1835, was
fifty-one; of these, thirty-nine belonged to the
different schools.
"There are three things which will be the




RESIDENCE IN BINGHAMTON.       43
principal instruments in the hand of God of
bringing about this great work: these three
things are men, money, and prayer. Now if
these great instruments moved together, that
is, if the treasury was full at the same time
that many pious and devoted men were ready
and willing to go, and the people of God were
zealous and frequent in prayer for this cause,
the great work of converting the world would
soon be accomplished. But this is not so. At
one time there has been an abundance of money,
while there were few or none ready to go as
missionaries. At another time, as is the case
now, the missions abroad are in a very prosperous state, and there are upwards of fifty missionaries wishing to go as soon as the means
are afforded; but the treasury is empty: there
is a debt of several thousand dollars, which the
society have already contracted, and the expenses of the new missionaries will probably
swell the debt to $100,000. Now, by whom
is this great debt to be paid? True, the cities
will probably do a great deal of the work; several have already given largely towards liquidating the debt; but they cannot, and they




44         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
will not do the whole, for it would not be proper
to lay the whole burden upon them. The villages and towns in our country are to help forward the payment of this debt very much. But
are there not some other means which, although
they cannot accomplish as much as cities and
villages, can yet help a little? Yes, blessed be
God, there are the Sunday-school missionary
societies. And among these may not the Binghamton Sunday-school Missionary Society be
permitted to hold a place? Yes, this humble
society may be the instrument in the hands of
("od of doing much good. But while we are
thus laboring for the conversion of the heathen
by contributing of our substance, should we
not also pray for it? Many persons will probably see children in heaven whom they never
saw before-the fruit of their prayers: and how
glorious will be their crown of rejoicing. But
what tongue can tell the feelings of those who
in hell behold heathen children who have been
exalted to heaven by their means? How bitterly will they reflect on the hours they spent
in this place, giving money for the conversion
of heathen, while they themselves were far




RESIDENCE IN BING-IHAMTON.      45
from the kingdom. I apprehend that there are
not a few members of this society who are in
this state, and some influential members too.
To such I would say,' Flee from the wrath to
come. Remember, that if you die, what repentingf, what bitter anguish will wring your
heart when you think of the opportunities you
have let pass for giving up your heart to God.'
To those who have already given themselves to
God, I would say,' Persevere to the end. Give,
and pray, and if it seem to be your duty, give
even yourself for this work. Your crown of
rejoicing will be glorious indeed, filled with
many stars as trophies of your labor.'"
The other address gives a general view of the
principal missionary stations under the care of
the American Board; and closes, like the first,
with an appeal to different classes of his hearers.  The handwriting of a part of this address
is beautiful. As a specimen of its style and
spirit, the following is given from the introduction and the close. Both addresses evince an
accurate knowledge of the existing state of the
heathen world, and of missions; the fruit, un



46         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
doubtedly, of his intimate acquaintance with
the Missionary Herald: and both were long remembered with peculiar interest by the superintendent and others who heard them.  The
last was delivered only a few weeks prior to
his departure for Cortland:
"Mly young friends, members of this association, you are engaged in a noble enterprise;
one which may involve the interests of immortal souls throughout eternity. If the effort
should terminate merely in the conversion of
your beneficiaries, yet if the salvation of one
soul is a theme worthy of the admiration and
joy of all heaven, it certainly is worth the
noblest energies of man to be the means of
bringing that one soul from the darkness of sin
to the marvellous light of the gospel. But the
result will not stop here. We are encouraged
by God's promises to believe that they will become Christians; and if they do, the spirit of
the gospel will lead them to devise some way
of doing good to their benighted countrymen.
They may become ministers of the gospel; and
through their instrumentality, hundreds and




RESIDENCE IN BINGIIGAMTON.     47
perhaps thousands may be brought to give up
their idolatrous practices, and worship the only
true God and Jesus Christ whom he has sent.
"Nor will the reward of your benevolence
end here.  They in turn will seek to communicate to others the blessing they have received;
and thus, through the aid of the individual contributions of every one engaged in this cause,
a train of events will be set in motion, which
will go on, continually making new accessions
to the Redeemer's kingdom, through every successive generation till the end of time. How
glorious the thought! Not one, nor ten, nor one
hundred, but thousands, singing eternal praises
to the Lamb who has purchased their pardon.
Oh, my friends, if you could bring your whole
mind to bear upon this subject, you would be
lost in raptures; and would be induced to redouble your exertions, and renew your sacrifices, in order to the accomplishment of this
blessed object."
Then follows the body of the address. After
which he proceeds, in conclusion,
"You, my young friends, are placed in a




48         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
situation fraught with advantages. You are
permitted to come up to the house of God
every Sunday, and to study his holy word.
And this talent which has been given to you is
not to be squandered away, nor even to be laid
up in a napkin; but is to be used for the honor
and glory of the giver. You ought to carry out
into the week, and practige the truths which
you have learnt on the Sabbath. You ought
to show, by your daily walk and conversation,
that they have had some effect upon the heart.
"Those of you who are members of the
church, and especially the young converts, are
at the present time placed in peculiarly trying
circumstances. You are about to lose your
spiritual shepherd; and several of your young
Christian friends intend soon to leave you. It
will be necessary for you to put on the whole
armor of God, and to be instant in prayer.
Secret prayer is an excellent remedy for
worldly-mindedness. And it will generally be
found, that when the fervor of a Christian remains unabated in his morning and evening
devotions, the same spirit will pervade all the
business of the day. Prayer is, of all things,




RESIDENCE IN BINGHAMTON.        49
best calculated to keep the Christian armor
bright. The closet is the place where Jesus
appears sweetest to the believer. Keep up also
the social prayer-meetings. Let every one feel
as if it were his duty to go himself, and make
the meetings as interesting as he can. Social
intercourse is another great advantage to the
Christian. Wherever you meet, make religion
the principal theme.  Tell each other your
troubles, and advise concerning them. And
whatever else you do, do not neglect to converse with impenitent sinners. Warn them of
their danger.  Pray ardently for their salvation; and endeavor by every means in your
power, to persuade them to come to Jesus.
"In conclusion, I will say a few words to
my impenitent friends. Although you are now
at peace, rest assured it is but a false security,
which is the prelude to destruction. It will
be soon, very soon, at the farthest, when you
will lie on the bed of death.  And then, although now it appears horrible even to think of
eternal things, you will'be obliged to look into
the grave; and if still impenitent, yet farther,
into the lake which burns with fire and brimIockwood.          4




60           JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
stone, and see the inexpressible torments which
await you there.
"Still more terrible, if possible, will be your
feelings when you come before the judgmentseat of Christ:'That awful day will surely come,
The appointed hour makes haste,
When you must stand before the Judge,
And pass the solemn test.'
Then repentance will be too late.  Looking
around, you will discover your parents and
dear friends on the right hand; while you,
who despised all their prayers and entreaties
when alive, are now entirely out of the reach
of mercy. Soon, the Judge will pronounce
those terrible words,'Depart, ye cursed, into
everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his
angels.' And you will be confined in the prisonhouse of despair, there to remain with devils
and lost spirits for ever! FOR EVEnR!! FOR
EVER!!!
"And now, to all-Farewell.  This is probably the last opportunity I shall have of meeting you on an occasion like this. But I shall
ever remember with the liveliest, emotions of




RESIDENCE IN BINGHAMlTON.    51
gratitude and pleasure, the many happy hours
I have spent here.
"I shall always remember you all in my
prayers; especially the Sunday-school, and
my Christian friends here. And I request that
they would bear me in their petitions at the
throne of grace. And 0, may we all, when we
come to the last great day, be found among
that great multitude which no man can number, of all nations and kindred, and people and
tongues, of whom it is said,'They stood before
the throne and before the Lamb, clothed with
white robes, and palms in their hands; and
cried with a loud voice, Salvation be to our
God, which sitteth upon the throne, and to the
Lamb."'




52         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
CHAPTER IV.
RESIDENCE IN CORTLANDVILLE.
AFTER the attack already alluded to, on the
the evening of the 26th Nov., 1838, under the
impression that his mind had been acquiring
growth and strength at the expense of his physical constitution, it was recommended that he
should remain about home, engaging in any
light business in which his services might be
wanted-on a farm, in a shop, or in a store;
in other words, to suffer his mind to rest for a
few years.
In this recommendation he cheerfully acquiesced. And during the time the family lived
in Cortland, he sawed and split our wood, made
the garden, and did similar work. Besides this,
he went into the workshop; learned the art of
bottoming chairs with rushes; acted one season as clerk in a store. And in these ways,
and by aiding neighbors on the farm during
harvest, he not only benefited his health, but
acquired funds enough tlo contribute to all the
benevolent operations of the day.




RESIDENCE IN CORTLANDVILLE.    53
His uncle in New York having about this
time presented him with a gentleman's chest
of tools, he fixed up a work-bench, at one time
in the barn, at another over the wood-house,
where he employed his leisure hours in making
toys for his younger sisters, or flower-pots, as
presents for his friends. Though leading at
this time a mode of life which was so desultory, and so repugnant to his natural disposition, he was never idle, and seldom was he
dejected. For a few days after the occurrence
of one of his attacks, he would be pensive and
rather dull. At other times he was habitually
cheerful; and his presence was the delight of
the family.
About a year after he came to live in Cortland, the superintendent of the Sunday-school
appointed him teacher of a class of boys, averaging from ten to twelve years of age. Some
of them he gathered into the school. With this
class, John was faithful; not only instructing
them on the Sabbath, furnishing them with
suitable books from the Sunday-school library,
and loaning them his own books to carry home
with them, but he visited them regularly at




54         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
their houses, and thus made himself acquainted
with their parents as well as themselves. Thus
he succeeded in ingratiating himself into the
good will of these families. The father of one
of the lads was intemperate. But, even while
intoxicated, he would listen to the voice of this
youthful teacher of his son, when he would
only vent his rage at others who were attempting to control or to influence him.
His views on the subject of temperance were
well known. While he was acting as clerk in
the store of Mr. R-, a lad came in with a
jug, to be filled with liquor for the workmen.
"John," said Mr. R, "just take that jug
and fill it."  "I can't do that, sir," was the
prompt but mild reply. And, as Mr. R-.
informs me, he himself, respecting John's scruples, took the jug and filled it.
In October, 1836, while a pupil in my school
in Binghamton, he commenced keeping a journal of the temperature, and of the weather.
And for nearly five years he was in the habit of
furnishing for the newspaper of the villages in
which he lived, a weekly meteorological table.
A copy of his observations, made three times a




RESIDENCE IN CORTLANDVILLE.    55
day during the period named above, is found
laid aside among his papers.
The time when he commenced asking a
blessing at the table has been already noted.
In the summer of 1839 he commenced conducting family worship during the absence of
his parents. And this practice he continued
ever after. Both these exercises he undertook
without any suggestion from his parents, entirely of his own accord, and actuated by a
sense of propriety and duty.
During the time of his residence in Cortland,
he was actively engaged in endeavoring to do
good in the church, and especially among the
youth of that village. A veil must, for the present, be thrown over some of these efforts among
his fellow-youths. Suffice it to say, the ardent
desires of his soul for their salvation were not
appreciated by some; and the publication of the
correspondence with such, though it would not
alter the state of the dead, might wound the
feelings of the living.
In January, 1841, however, the fruit of his
labors and prayers began to appear. Towards
the close of the preceding year, the church had




56          JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
become evidently revived; but on the evening
of the second Sabbath of the new year a thrilling scene occurred in the vestry of the church,
where the congregation were accustomed to
assemble to hold their third service-a social
conference and prayer-meeting. At this meeting the pastor was accustomed to preside. On
the occasion above alluded to, and while before
a breathless audience the pastor was describing
the situation of a sinner-condemned already,
in the dark prison, with a pardon offered him,
and the folly and the guilt of such a one
shrinking back and declining to receive the
pardon-one of the young men of the village,
tall in stature, and occupying a position in a
remote part of the room, rose on his feet, and
drawing towards him the attention of all as he
cried out with a tremulous voice, " That's me!
That's me! I can't stand it any longer" —left
his place, and threading his way through the
pent-up passages, came to the speaker's table;
and there, throwing himself on his knees, exclaimed, "Oh, pray for me! pray for me! or
is it too late? —O, my Sabbath-school! O, my
pious mother!-I have put it off too long al



RESIDENCE IN CORTLANDVILLE.    57
ready." In expressions like these, he continued for some minutes to give vent to his troubled feelings: after which, the congregation
were requested to unite with their pastor in
fervent prayers to God in behalf of this young
friend.
This was the sudden commencement of a
revival of religion among the young men. As
the fruits of which, twenty-five of this interesting class were added to the Presbyterian
church from the world; and with them twenty
females.
As the means in the hands of God of effecting this desirable change in the hearts of these
precious youths, I have always looked upon
John's faithful conversation, consistent life, and
fervent prayers, as bearing a conspicuous part.
There was nothing boisterous or obtrusive in
his manner. His influence was like the gentle
dew.
And now that a band of new recruits had
come into the church, he endeavored to enlist
them in doing good to others. On this topic
he would dwell in his conversations with them,
and in his addresses at their social meetings.




58         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
Among his papers I find one which appears to
be the copy of " a note" addressed " to William
Stimson," one of the young converts, dated
"Feb. 19, 1841," and is as follows: "Please
look at Leviticus 19: 17; Proverbs 24: 11, 12;
25:11; 11:30; 15:7,23; Matthew5: 13-16;
Hcb. 13: 16; Jas. 3: 13; 5: 20. If it were necessary, I could probably refer you to as many
more passages on the same subject. But I
think these will be sufficient to prove that we
all have a duty to perform, in warning impenitent sinners. For here are some passages, in
which there is a positive command; as well as
others, in which the practice is recommended,
and promises made to those who perform this
duty. And when it is once proved to be a
duty, you know, the sooner its performance,
the better."
The individual to whom this note was addressed, commenced studying for the ministry;
but on account of ill health was obliged to
desist, and has since died.
From John's journal under date of Dec. 15,
1840, I quote as follows: "Evening, went to
singing-school. In recess had a short conver



RESIDENCE IN CORTLANDVILLE.    59
sation with William Stimson on the subject of
religion. Commenced with hesitation and trembling; but before we finished, he asked me to
pray for him. I cheerfully complied, and endeavored to urge upon him the importance of
making an effort to pray for himself. May it
not be that the harps of angels shall soon be
tuned to welcome the return of this dear youth.
He says he has been for three or four years in
just about the same situation he is now."
A young lady of Cortland reminds me of the
following incident, which occurred about this
time. The revival was, as usual, followed by
strenuous efforts on the part of the irreligious,
to create a reaction in favor of vain amusements. A series of cotillion parties was announced and commenced. The parties would
frequently, and I do not know but invariably,
occur on the same evening with the young.
people's prayer-meeting. On one occasion of
this sort, when a good deal of solicitude was
felt for certain individuals who that evening
were placed in circumstances of temptation,
John arose in the meeting and remarked to this
effect: he feared they had not been faithful




60         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
with certain individuals; he feared they had
not labored enough with them; and now it is
too late. He feared they had not prayed to
God enough for them; and perhaps it is not
too late yet-let us pray.  He then commenced praying in view of the specific case.
His feelings became more fervent as he proceeded; and when he closed, another, having
caught the same spirit, commenced. Another
succeeded him, and a remarkable spirit of
prayer pervaded the meeting. The next morning, to their surprise, they ascertained that the
party the evening before could not succeed in
"'making out a single figure." Not one cotillion was danced. In consequence of some
unexpected occurrences, not more than six
ladies could be induced to go into the room,
and the attempt that evening was a complete
failure. This was known among the band of
praying young converts, and it tended greatly
to strengthen within them their belief in the
efficacy of prayer.
The following letters, written about this
time to a young man in Binghamton, show
that though his residence was removed from




RESIDENCE IN CORTLANDVILLE.    61
that village, he had not forgotten the cause of
Christ there. They also furnish another proof,
in addition to those already adduced, not only
that he was accustomed to make particular
individuals special subjects of prayer, but that
when this is done heartily and perseveringly,
God often manifests his approbation by granting the blessing asked for:
" CORTLANDVILLE, Oct. 10, 1840.
"DEAR THEODORE-Deacon Smith of Binghamton has communicated to me the joyful
intelligence of your hopeful conversion. Ever
since I have lived here, I have been interested
in your behalf. Why it is, I know not. But
I think it is for this reason: I knew that you
did, a few years ago, indulge the hope that you
were a Christian; that you lost that hope, and
passed through a powerful revival the following
fall without regaining it. And I knew also
that if you should die in that state, your guilt
would be a thousand-fold greater than if you
never had come out of the world.
" That spring, you may remember, we knelt
side by side in the prayer-meeting; and it was




62          JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
natural that I should feel anxious for your sal.
vation.
" Since I have lived here, I have made it my
practice to present you daily in prayer to God,
that you might be converted. When I learned
that there was a revival in progress in Binghamton, I was very desirous that you should
be a subject of it. I even commenced a letter
to you, but for some reason did not finish it.
And I have not been able to gain any intelligence respecting you since, until this week. I
was, as you may suppose, very much rejoiced;
and, I think, truly grateful, that God had answered my prayers.
"And now I will submit it for your serious
consideration, whether it is your duty to study
for the ministry. It seems to me, that whenever a young man becomes hopefully pious,
this is a question which deserves the prayerful
and deliberate exercise of his best judgment;
and that it should not be turned off until the
inducements on both sides have been thoroughly examined, and the aid of some suitable religious friend and counsellor obtained. There
are many things to be considered on both sides.




RESIDENCE IN CORTLANDVILLE.    63
But unless there is some insurmountable obstacle in the way, that person assumes a fearful responsibility who turns a deaf ear to the
wants of perishing millions, in this land and in
other lands. On every side the demand is
coming for more men.
" I hope you will receive this letter, as I trust
it has been written, in the spirit of kindness.
My apology for writing is, that I wished to inform you that there was one heart on earth, of
which perhaps you did not know, that united
with the angels in heaven in rejoicing over the
repenting prodigal.
"Your affectionate friend,
" J. D. L."
The individual thus addressed did not at
once make a public profession of religion. And
in the spring of 1841 he received a friendly
appeal, of which the following is an extract;
from which it appears that he had previously
been conversed with by John on the subject:
"CORTLANDVILLE, April 24, 1841.
" DEAR THEoDORE-Perhaps it would be superfluous for me to address you on the subject




64         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
of uniting with the church; but as father is
going down next week, I have concluded to
send a line by him.
" Another communion-season will soon come
round. And it must be, that the question has
been agitated in your mind, whether you will
come out on the first Sabbath in May, and make
a public profession of religion.
"I will simply bring up two arguments,
which, it seems to me, upon a careful consideration must appear reasonable. I have had
occasion this winter to observe something of the
workings of the human mind, as it has been
a very favorable time for that object. I speak
now particularly with reference to those who
have obtained hope. Several of them have been
at times in the same situation that I fear you
are, or at least were when I last had the privilege of seeing you-rather desponding, taking
no enjoyment in religion, and performing Christian duties rather as a task than as a privilege.
As I had been a professor of religion longer than
any of them, they would often come to me to
know what was the matter. And on looking
into the cases, I have most commonly found




RESIDENCE IN CORTLANDVILLE.   65
ttLat their state of feeling was caused by the
neglect of some duty.
" I think it may safely be laid down as a
proposition, that if a Christian neglects a duty
that is clearly made known to him, it will bring
leanness into his soul. I have found it so in
my own experience, as well as in that of others.
Now, may it not be that your neglect of this
important duty has been the principal, if not
the only cause of your troubled state of mind?
If it is, and I hardly think you will fail of
finding it to be so, then come out on the next
Sabbath and remove that cause. Understand
me, I do not wish you to perform any duty
for the sake of being happy.  That would be
as contrary to my principles as to yours. But
do it as you once told me you performed the
common daily duties of the Christian-because
it is a duty.
" Did you ever see a plant that had grown
in the dark-for instance, in a cellar-through
the winter? If you have, you will understand
the force of my second argument. You have
noticed how pale and sickly it looks; how it
turns towards the light, whenever a ray enters
Lockwood.          5




66         JOIHN D. LOCKWTOOD.
the place, as if longing to feel its influence, anlyet debarred by its situation from the Dlessing.
Such a plant can never become strong, vigorous, and healthy, while remaining in the dark.
Neither, as I apprehend, can a Christian become a strong, vigorous, and healthy one, while
remaining in the cold and dark world. He will
always be sickly. Doubts and fears will harass
him. He will be deprived of the counsel, sympathy, and encouragement of many, who otherwise would be of much assistance to him. He
will be debarred, by his own feelings, from
many of the privileges which he might enjoy.
In short, although he may look for, and bend
towards every ray of Christian light that may
reach him, yet he can never enjoy the full blaze
of the sunshine of his Saviour's countenance,
while remaining, as far as any public profession
is concerned, in the ranks of his enemies.
" I would not on any account have you think
that I write these lines with any thing of an
assuming or dictatorial spirit. On the contrary,
it is merely as a friend, and, I trust, a Christian brother, that I write to you. And I hope
that if any argumnzents have no weight, your




RESIDENCE IN CORTLANDVILLE.    67
own reflection will decide that your best, and
indeed your only course, if you wish to be a
useful Christian, is, to unite yourself with the
people of God. I should like to hear how that
prayer-meeting gets along at Mr. D)'s.
"Your affectionate friend,
"J. D. L."
John never forgot " the Binghamton Juvenile
Missionary Society."  For some time after his
removal to Cortland, he continued his regular
subscription to its funds. Several times, in
visiting Binghamton, he endeavored to make
his arrangements so as to meet with them on
the evening of the third Monday of the month.
And generally, if not invariably, would embrace
the opportunity given of addressing his young
associates.
It had been his ardent desire to see such an
association established in Cortland. And after
the revival there in the winter of 1841, the
young men came forward, and by giving a
new shape to the missionary association which
was already in existence among the females)
communicated to it an impulse, the effect of
which was visible for years afterwards.




68          JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
While in Cortland, he grew rapidly in bodily
stature and bodily strength. And as his physical constitution improved, his fits gradually
became both less violent and less frequent. In
the year 1839, he had two in the spring; one
of them pretty severe. In the year 1840, three;
all of them light. With the opening spring of
1842 our hopes were becoming sanguine that
he had passed, or with due care would soon
pass beyond the reach of danger from these
dreadful and insidious attacks. By this time,
John began to feel as if he had arrived at an
age when he ought to be turning his attention
to some one employment which he might
safely follow, and in which he might continue
till the close of life. Supposing that it might
be safest for him to follow an agricultural life,
and yielding to other providential indications,
I relinquished my charge in the village of Cortland, and in the month of June accepted of
an invitation to take the pastoral care of a congregation of respectable farmers, in the retired
and beautiful valley of Berkshire, distant twentytwo miles from Cortland, and twenty-six miles
north-west from Binghamton.




RESIDENCE IN BERKSHIRE.        69
CHAPTER V.
RESIDENCE IN BERKSHIRE-IN HOMER.
THE year 1842 passed without any symptoms of the old disorder. In the fall of that
year he was invited by the trustees to teach a
district school in the neighborhood, during the
winter. And as he appeared inclined to try
the experiment, his parents with some hesitation gave their consent.
In a letter to a brother in New York, he
writes, under date of Oct. 7, 1842, "Please tell
our city friends that farming looks better in the
distance, than it does when you are fairly engaged in it; as some of those who have left the
city to try it, find to their sorrow.
"I have been at work for Mr. XM-    some,
lately. But I find that digging potatoes and
rolling logs are occupations not very well calculated to make a good writer; as this letter
will show. I think some of teaching school
this winter. If I do, I shall probably improve
my handwriting at any rate. I could do noth



70          JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
ing on a farm in the winter, and teaching is
the only other employment I can find. I know
not how I shall like it; but I think I shall
try, as I must do it, or stay at home and do
nothing."
In another letter to the same, dated Nov. 28,
he gives the following rather amusing account
of his first days in his new employment: "I
have taken the school that I was thinking of
when I last wrote; and I cannot give you a
better idea of my situation than by reviewing
the three weeks that I have passed in it. I
need not tell you of the resolutions I made to
persevere to the last; of my plans of managing
my school; of the model which I was going to
form for all succeeding school-teachers to study;
of my working out some of the hardest sums in
the arithmetic, for fear some of my scholars
would puzzle me; nor, finally, of my being nonplussed when I was inspected-in parsing a
sentence, of which I understood the philosophy
as well as the inspectors, and perhaps better,
and which I could have parsed well enough if
it had been Latin or Greek.
"II pass over all these, and come to the time




RESIDENCE IN BERKSIIIRE.      71
when I took charge of a motley set of boys
and girls-some pretty well advanced in their
studies, and some who scarcely knew any
thing; with different kinds of books, and some
with no books.
" The first day I felt very much relieved
when school was out, though when I looked
forward to four months of it, it saddened me
some. However, I found it very pleasant where
I boarded the first fortnight; and went at it
again the next day. But next day it was
worse; and Wednesday afternoon, after school
was out, I felt as if I should sink into the earth;
but I sustained myself by all the consolations
within my reach. And, believe me, R- 
there is nothing like a trust in Christ at such
times; and for the rest of the week, I had comparatively little trouble. The next week, however, a couple of boys came in, whose very
countenances showed me that I should have
trouble with them. Monday was a complete
scene of confusion, all day; and Tuesday was
worse. I had not yet used my ruler at all.
In my model I had expected to govern by mild
measures.  Tuesday morning I made quite a




72         JOoHN D. LOCKWOOD.
speech to my scholars, and told them that if
they would not behave themselves without it,
I imust take the ruler. But I did nothing that
day; and at night, as soon as school was out,
I started for home with as complete an idea of
Bedlam in my head as I ever want to have. I
was completely discouraged, and on the point
of giving up.
"After tea, I was sitting by the fire in no
very pleasant mood, when the door opened, and
who should come in but Dr. G -, from Cortlandville. I started from my chair in surprise.
I knew he would say something to refresh me.
lie told me I must pull my own hair, and put
on a good plaster of courage, and go to work;
tear around, and put some life into the school,
and not sit down brooding over my troubles.
So, to work I went the next morning; feruled
some, turned others out of doors, and gave
knocks over the shoulders by the wholesale. I
felt rather better that night: and, since then,
I have not been so far gone; though I have
sometimes been a good deal tried and worried.
"But say, Aunt R —- and Aunt B   -,
and my other good friends in the city, how has




RESIDENCE IN BERKSHIRE.        73
your health been all this time? Health! I have
had no time to think of it. I have eaten any
thing that I could get, and my system has been
as regular as it could be. You must know, in
explanation of my remark as to what I eat,
that I board around among the families, so many
days for a scholar.
"I have not said half I want to; and almost
regret I had not taken a foolscap sheet. I could
give you some queer pictures of real life, had I
only the ability.
"Your affectionate brother,
"J. D. L."
The school-house was pleasantly situated,
about three quarters of a mile from our place
of residence. And as John knew nothing by
experience of the manner in which district
schools were ordinarily conducted, having
never in his life been a member of such a
school, his mother, aware that he would meet
with unexpected trials, and fearful of the effect
they might have on his nervous system, proposed to him, that instead of boarding around
among the families, as teachers were accustomed to, he should board at home. But the




74         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
idea did not find favor with John. Dearly as
he loved home, he loved still more the idea of
doing good. Most of the families belonged to
my congregation. And with these he thought
he should become better acquainted; and a
temporary residence in their families would be
both pleasant and profitable to all. He hoped
also-and this appeared to be his principal motive-that he might do good, wherever he
boarded. At all events, he would become
somewhat acquainted with the world; see how
farmers in the country lived; and as he was
expecting one day or other to launch out, this
would be a good opportunity to begin to push
off his bark. And accordingly, as other teachers had been in the habit of doing, he boarded
in the different families in the district.
In this way, it is believed, he exerted a good
influence on the parents as well as on the
children. Sometimes it was his lot to board
where no family altar was reared. And in such
cases, while I have never heard of his being
rude or obtrusive, he invariably secured from
the head of the family an invitation to conduct
family worship while he remained with them.




RESIDENCE IN HOMER.          75
Indeed, having at that time always been accustomed to live where that reasonable and
truly Christian duty was performed, he felt as
if it was an indispensable part of living.
It is moreover believed that the judgmentday will reveal good, that has resulted from
this humble effort to introduce prayer into certain families.
On closing his school in the spring, his constitution seemed so much invigorated that he
gained the consent of his parents to try the
effect of moderate study once more. Medical
advisers encouraged us to think there would be
no harm in his doing so, provided he would
apply his mind in moderation.
In April, 1843, he took his leave of us for
Homer, situated two miles north of Cortlandville; and taking board and lodgings in the
family of Dr. Bradford, became a pupil in the
deservedly celebrated academy in that pleasant
village. Now he was in his element.  From
his journal it appears that he enjoyed his situation highly. Fond as he was of mental application, he did not confine himself closely to
his studies; but having a circle of acquaintance




76         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
in the vicinity, he visited a good deal. He also
botanized some; and, for the sake of the vigorous bodily exercise it afforded him, sawed wood;
and after having demolished the doctor's woodpile, requested of Mr. Woolworth the principal,
who lived nearly opposite, the privilege of attacking his. "It was interesting," says Mr.
Woolworth, " as an illustration of his habits of
order, to see how punctually he would come,
every morning, and how regularly he would
leave, after having sawed his usual quantity."
Every stated religious meeting of the scholars he not only attended, but was forward to
sustain. Every day he seemed to consider lost,
in which he had not made some active efforts
to do good. As an illustration of his spirit, I
quote from his journal, under date of Saturday,
May 6: " Have been helping Mr. Nelson plant
a tree on the grave of Abel F. Kinney, formerly
teacher of languages in this academy, and a
devotedly pious man. Mr. Nelson wished the
motto had been put upon his tombstone,'He
went about doing good;' and it would truly
have expressed his character. It appears to
me, that to deserve such a motto on my tomb.




RESIDENCE IN HOMER.         77
stone, I would forego any thing that this world
can give. Let me daily search my heart, and
pray God to see if ambition lodges there. Let
me daily strive for more holiness, and daily
seek opportunities for doing good." Constantly
was he watching for occasions to benefit his
fellow-students; encouraging and stimulating
his young brethren, as well as kindly exhorting
the impenitent.
Not content with doing good in his ordinary
walks, he in connection with another individual
commenced a Sabbath-school, about four miles
from the village, in the north-west part of the
town. This distance they used to walk after
attending public worship.
But his plan of remaining in Homer was suddenly interrupted from an unexpected quarter.
Among my pupils while in Binghamton were
two sons of Dr. R, Silver Lake, Pa. These
sons, who were boarders in my family, one of
them older and the other younger than John,
had ever been regarded by him with deep interest. Mrs. R-, in consequence of the recent death of her husband, was left a widow;
and she, together with the elder children of the




78         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
family, felt deeply anxious for the welfare of
the younger members, whom they were desirous of having educated at home.
Some time in the month of February previous, a letter had been received from Mrs.
R -, through Mr. M1, proposing the plan
for John to become the teacher of her sons, in
her family, for the period of two years. After
maturely considering the application, an answer was returned expressive of my satisfaction with the offer, but rather hesitating as to
the propriety of accepting it-mainly in view
of John's age, in comparison with that of her
eldest; which would render it more suitable
for him to be his companion than his teacher.
After John had gone to Homer, another letter
was received to this effect: inasmuch as their
first plan had failed, and their present teacher
had consented to remain-that I would allow
John to make their house his home, for at least
one year, as a companion to the lads, "on exactly the same footing as though we had adopted him, and he were really one of us." This
request was urged with strong motives, drawn
from the good he would be likely to do by his




RESIDENCE IN HIOMER.         79
example and influence, and also by the advantage he might receive from the instruction of
their teacher, and from their library.
This letter from Silver Lake I sent to John,
with a request that he would take the subject
into consideration, and acquaint me with the
result of his views. The following is a copy
of his reply; in which the reader will be struck
not only with the traits of Christian character
which it developes, but also the clearness of his
mind and the comprehensiveness of his plans:
" HOMIER) May 23, 1843.
"DEAR PARENTS —Vith respect to  Mrs.
lR-'s letter, although I cannot say I have
decided, yet I think I see some landmarks to
point out the path of duty.
" In the first place, I think I can truly say,
if I know any thing of my own heart, I wish
only to know what is duty. From my infancy
have you consecrated me to the service of God;
and I have often made the same unreserved
consecration myself. And now I do not wish
to shrink from any duty which He may call
me to perform.
"As to the want of religious privileges, of




80          JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
which mother speaks, it is true there are great
temptations in such circumstances; but are
they any greater at Silver Lake than at most
of our missionary stations? Where is the place
to do good, if not in the midst of wickedness?
I feel that, God's grace assisting me, I might
be very useful there; and that, not so much to
the surrounding population, though a wide field
lies open in that respect: but I see those boys,
and I think what a great influence for good or
for evil they are destined to exert; and it appears to me, that whoever succeeds in giving
their minds a right direction will be a benefac.
tor to his country. If Mr. L-    stays too, as
is possible, I shall have an opportunity of proceeding with my studies, and may not lose
much in that line.
" On the other hand, two points present
themselves. If Mr. L-  leaves, and I should
spend two years there, I probably should not
be able to enter college more than a year in
advance. Whether it would be advisable to
put back my collegiate course a year, you can
judge better than I. My health now is very
good, and the prospect is favorable that study




RESIDENCE IN ITIOIER.         81
will not injure it.  But if Mr. L   remains,
and is well qualified to assist me-an important consideration-I may advance nearly as
fast as I would in college. In either case these
two difficulties arise: I must enter college in
advance, which is not a good plan, ordinarily;
and I run some risk of becoming so entangled
with the kindness of the family, the charms of
the place, and a sense of the great moral destitution, that I might find it difficult to tear myself away. If I could bring myself to feel that
duty required me to go, at the expense of my
studies, or that my usefulness would be greater to take such a situation now, with no other
prospect but of continuing in it, than to wait
until I have finished my course of study, I
should have no hesitation on this point. But
this I cannot do.
" The whole question is one of probabilities,
and seems to be narrowed down to this: Is it
probable, that if God should spare my life
twenty or thirty years, my usefulness on the
whole would be greater, if I should go to Silver
Lake, or remain here? It appears to me, whenever I recur to the subject, that the probabiliLockwood.           6




82          JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
ties are in favor of my remaining; but yet,
my judgment may be warped by the pleasant
situation for study in which I am now placed.
I find, whenever I sit down to examine the
matter closely, the idea of those boys growing
up in sin, and exerting an influence fatal to religion, constantly presenting itself to my mind,
and leading me to doubt what is my duty. I
wish, dear father, you would write me, advising me what to do, and giving your reasons.
"Your affectionate son,
"J. D. L."
The substance of this communication was
sent to Silver Lake, and other letters from the
family were received urging the plan. At
length John decided to go for one year; and
one of the reasons assigned in his letter is the
following, which is as valid as it is brief: "I1
am desirous to be educated, not merely to go
to college."
On the 17th of June, John returned home
from the academy, having been absent only
two mronths, and bringing with him  a note
from the highly respected teacher, of which the
following is a copy:




RESIDENCE IN HOM0IER.         83
"HooIERn, June 17, 1843.
" REV. P-  L-:
" DEAR SIR —It affords me great pleasure to
be able to bear unqualified testimony to the
correct deportment of your son, while he has
been a member of our school. He has been
diligent in the improvement of his time; and
has acquired the character of an excellent
scholar, and the esteem and respect of his
fellow-students and teachers.  He has mentioned to me that it may not be perfectly convenient for him to return.
"As the anniversary of our academy occurs
at the close of the present term, we are very
desirous that all our scholars should remain
until the close-particularly so, those to whom
parts in the public exercises have been assigned.
I would therefore respectfully ask that your
son may return, if you can make it consistent
with your arrangements.
"With sincere respect, I am truly yours,
"S. B. W."
In compliance with the request contained in
the foregoing, John returned to Homer in time




84          JOHIN D. LOCKWOOD.
to take the part assigned him at the anniversary in July.
On that occasion he delivered the following
oration " On the Formation of Character."  Uttering forth as he was the emotions of his own
heart, as well as the results of his own reflections,
he was listened to with deep interest; especially
by the students, and by all who knew him.
ORATION.
" To a youth about to enter upon the active
scenes of life, his future employment is a subject of deep interest.  And if intelligent and
judicious, he will act upon this principle-that
in choosing an occupation, he should select that
which he is willing to make the permanent
business of life.
The principle is certainly a reasonable one;
and it is susceptible of a far higher application
than merely to the choice of a profession.
"Youth, too, is the period for the formation
of the character; and that, not merely for time.
In view of this fact, it is evident that an investigation into the nature and consequences of
the characters between which we are called to
choose, must be of the highest importance.




RESIDENCE IN hIOMIER.        85
"If we enter upon such an investigation, we
shall find four candidates, each eager for the
throne of our hearts. And in making from
them our selection, let us not forget our principle-to choose that which we mean always
to retain, and which we are willing to follow,
whenever and wherever it leads us.
"First comes AMIBITION, ever striving for the
first rank, and assuming as her motto,'Rather
reign in hell, than serve in heaven.' Her votary, setting before himself some point of honor
or distinction far in futurity, pursues it solely
for the power and distinction which it will
bring to him.  Go ask yonder artist, toiling
night and day, and yet poor, if he would accept
at your hands of the wealth of Crcesus, on condition of forsaking his employment, and giving
up the hope of being ultimately numbered with
Michael Angelo, Raphael, and our own illustrious West.  Think you he would accept your
offer? No. What cares he for wealth, if he
must have it by the loss of his idol, fame?
Had you offered to Alexander, Cuesar, or Napoleon, the wealth which they actually acquired, on condition of their engaging in com.




86          JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
mercial pursuits, think you they would not
have spurned the offer with indignation? Their
object was glory; and upon its attainment they
were bent, though seas of blood should obstruct
their progress.
"In this character we can discover many
valuable traits. Such are, the fixedness of purpose, the unconquerable perseverance, the nice
sense of honor, and the never-failing spirit of
hope, which influence the truly ambitious man.
But when we look at the other side, what a
fearful picture presents itself: supreme devotion
to self, the entire disre gard of others, and the
determination to be first, let what will cometraits which characterize every one actuated
by no higher motive. Rivers of blood have
flowed in the track of ambitious military men;
and the tears and groans of the millions of the
helpless and innocent, have cried for vengeance
too long to make the path of military glory desirable. He who strives for the first rank among
the literati, or the statesmen of our country,
does not, necessarily, thus outrage the finer
feelings of our nature. But he is perplexed
with fear, lest he shall lose his present honors,




RESIDENCE IN HO'MER.         87
or fail in his strife for those still higher, which
like a deadly worm gnaws into his heart, producing sleepless nights and days of distracting
anxiety. And should his worst fears be realized, where then is his resource? How many
have been thrown back into obscurity, and recalling their too hasty choice of character, have
turned their course in some more peacefill direction.
" But suppose the votary of ambition realizes
his hopes, and attains the summit of earthly
glory. When he has travelled this thorny path,
until ambition herself can ask him to go no
further, is he then at rest? Has that deadly
worm  lost its hold upon his heart?  Still it
rankles there, and may consume his very vitals.
In the words of another,' The road on which
ambition travels has this disadvantage. The
higher it ascends, the more difficult it becomes,
until it terminates on some elevation too steep
for safety, and too sharp for repose; and where
the wretched occupant, above the sympathy of
men, and below the friendship of angels, resembles in the solitude, if not in the depth of his misery, a Prometheus chained to the Causasian rock.'




s8         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
"With a heavy heart we turn from this picture, and find our next candidate, PLEASURE,
with a smiling countenance, engaging to dispel
every cloud, and shouting in the ecstasy of her
joy,'A short life, and a merry one.' Her votaries are distinguished for Awit and Ir amor, a
noble generosity, a nice sense of honzor, and a
desire to cast off care, and live in mirth and
gayety. But here, as before, our business is
with consequences.' Consequences!' exclaims
the nymph;'of these my votaries think not.''However,' we reply,'permit us, in our search
after truth, carefully to lift the curtain from
the death-bed scene of one who had been most
unrestrained in his indulgence in sensual pleasure. But what have we here? Humanity, turn
away and weep over the deep disgrace. Is this
a man? Did he ever wear the image of the
Deity? Is it possible that he was once the gayest of the gay, in the halls of fashion; that his
wit was always the brightest, his laugh the
merriest, and his song the best, of all the butterfly spirits who flitted in the sunbeams of
present enjoyment? Aye, and the causes of
his downfall may be found in those very things




RESIDENCE IN ITIOIER.        89
with which fortune would seem most highly to
have favored him. lie was flattered, courted,
and admired by all his acquaintance. Vain of
his acquiremnents, and intoxicated with the attention which he received, he dipped his wings
a little deeper in the pursuit of pleasure; and
at length, casting off one by one all the restraints which education or pride had imposed,
he rushed madly on-every year drawn further
into the fatal maelstrom, and at every whirl
sinking deeper in vice and vicious amusements,
until, his property, his health, and his reputation being entirely swallowed up, and his life
almost gone, he cries out, anxious to repair
some of the mischiefs of his past life,' Oh, that
every youth could see me, and take warning
from me, to form no character which he is unwilling to follow in its consequences!'
"But as we leave this character in disgust,
shall we cast ourselves into the golden stream,
and sail with the multitudes who are in the
pursuit of wealth, making riches their god,
and following AVARICE as their leader? Many
indeed, escaping sensuality, rush to the other
extreme, and seek by excessive parsimony to




90          JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
atone for excessive dissipation. But before submitting ourselves to her influence, what are her
real claims to the throne of our hearts? Is not
her ruling principle a supreme love of money?
And to what crimes have men not been led by
this same principle? The power of avarice,
when it has full possession of a man, knows no
bounds but death. Behold yonder rich, but
wretched victim of this passion, mistaken for a
beggar by a compassionate gentleman, and
humbly receiving a penny at his hand. Follow him, as he proceeds from one base act to
another, until-devoid of all sensibility, and
with a heart so steeled, that he must have the
pound of flesh containing the life's blood, as the
forfeit of his bond-he throws a heap of straw
into one corner of his mud floor, flings himself
upon it, and while heaps of gold and silver are
concealed in the holes and crevices of his miserable hovel, leaves the world, an object of universal pity and contempt.
" But where shall we go? Ambition, pleasure, and avarice, are each found unworthy of
our confidence. And are we forced to the conclusion that whatever character we form, entire




RESIDENCE IN HOMER.           91
submission to it will render us miserable? One
candidate yet remains.  Where will RELIGION
lead us? Her appearance is, at first view, forbidding. And although her promises are rich
and numerous, yet the price of her favor is so
humbling to the pride of the natural heart, that
few comparatively can be induced to pay it.
She will accept of nothing less than an entire
and unconditional surrender of the whole soul to
a principle of duty; allowing no motive of selfinterest, love of ease, or desire of happiness to
interfere with her claims. And, in return, she
promises no exemption from the common calamities and reverses of life, no uninterrupted
course of prosperity. And her only resource
in adverse circumstances, is a consciousness of
having acted from a sense of right. Honor,
pleasure, and wealth, as the objects of life, she
despises, and values them only as means of
glorifying our Creator, and benefiting our fellow-creatures.
"The truly religious man, taking his stand
on the broad principle of doing rigcrt, though
the heavens should fall, and actuated by a
burning desire growing out of that principle,




92          JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
to be of some use in the world, girds himself
for a life of toil and hardship if need be, to accomplish this end. What cares he for the glittering dust, with which so many are dazzled?
If it comes in his way, he takes it; and uses
it to the glory of Him who gave it, and with
thankfulness for the more extended good which
he is thus enabled to do. And if it is taken
from himl, he resigns it without a murmur;
only regretting that he had not used more of it
in works of Christian charity.  What cares he
for the enticements of pleasure? He finds infinitely higher enjoyment in doing his Master's
will, than do the votaries of pleasure in the
ball-room, the theatre, the gambling-house, or
the brothel.
I"And think you he casts a wishful eye at
the prospects which ambition holds out? He
acts from a far higher motive. His feet are
planted on an elevation, from which Napoleon's
greatness is-nothing. If honor is presented
to him, he receives it. And while he holds it,
exerts all his energies to use it aright. And
should he lose all his honors, he could give
them up without a pang; for the gnawing rest



RESIDENCE IN HIOMER.          93
lessness of the ambitious man is a stranger to
his breast.
" But for the full development of his character, he looks beyond this world. As we remarked in the outset, in forming a character,
we are doing a work not merely for time, but
for eternity. Viewed in this light, how do the
distinctions of this world, as well as its pleasures and its wealth, fade away in the distance.
Who is ready to carry a spirit of ambition into
eternity?  W5ho will hope to engage in the
dance, the game of cards, or to find the intoxicating draught, in eternity? Or who can carry
with him his bags of gold, his houses, or his
lands, to feast his eyes upon them in a world
of spirits?
" But the man whose character has been
formed upon religion as its foundation, will
there enjoy honors which transcend the power
of language to describe.  Angels and archangels shall be his companions; and with them
he will be for ever rising to higher attainments.
Pleasutre! he will bathe in an ocean of it,
without a bottom and without a shore. Riches!
he will walk the golden streets of the celestial




94         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
city. A mansion in heaven shall be his-a
mansion which the wealth of millions of worlds
would not purchase. Nothing will be wanting
to perfect his happiness. And as he looks back
after countless ages have rolled by upon his
little span of existence on this earth, a feeling
of unmingled joy will arise, that honor, pleasure, and wealth had none of them such charms
for him as unassuming piety."
Among the papers dated "Homer," is the
following, which appears to be a composition
prepared as an exercise of the academy. It
will now be read with interest, in view of the
early departure of the writer, to test the truth
of his theory.
"A DREAM.
" The day on which it was supposed by many
that the world would come to an end, was a
delightful Sabbath in the spring. It seemed
more delightful from the fact that the winter
had been a long and severe one, and spring
was just appearing in all her loveliness. The
grass upon the hills had just begun to look
green; the daffodils and hyacinths in the garden were just peeping above the ground; and




RESIDENCE IN HOMER.         95
all nature had that cheerful aspect which, it
would seem, ought to fill every heart with
grateful praise to the Giver of every good and
perfect gift.
"My mind, during the day, had been made
solemn by thinking of the great expected event.
For though I place no confidence in Mr. Miller's
theory, yet it certainly cannot be right to ridicule a subject so solemn. My thoughts had
dwelt a good deal upon the prophecies, and had
become a good deal confused.
"' In this state of mind, I sat down near the
close of the day, reflecting on the impossibility
of fixing a time for the appearance of the Son
of man, when the word of God expressly says,' Of that day and hour knoweth no man.' My
train of thought was suddenly interrupted,
and I became conscious that I was in the eternal world. But I saw no golden streets, or
pearly gates, or precious stones sparkling on
every side. I did not even see the great white
throne, nor the many other things which we
have been accustomed to associate with the
name of heaven. Nor did I see the saints with
crowns on their heads, and palms in their hands.




96          JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
But I felt a sense of the presence of Deity,
so strong as to be even painful. The very air
was love. An idea far fainter than you would
receive of the sun by looking at a glow-worm,
may be obtained of the intense blaze of divine
love, by recurring to a season when the influences of the Holy Spirit are filling a place, and
scores are flying to the ark of safety. A stranger at such a time sees a chastened seriousness
upon nearly every brow, and feels that he is
in an atmosphere of holiness. I felt also the
presence of the saints. I felt that I myself
was disrobed of my body, and by means of the
secret'tie that binds our hearts in kindred
love,' I perceived myself surrounded with thousands of saints and angels, and archangels;
and perceived, for the sound was too ethereal
to be heard, the rich strains of the heavenly
harp, accompanied by the holy song of myriads
of saints and angels in happy chorus.
"By means of the new power to communicate my ideas of which I found myself possessed,
I asked one of the former why the situation
of the finally happy was so different from all
my preconceived opinions. To clothe the ideas




RESIDENCE IN HOMER.          97
which he advanced in reply with suitable
words, would require an angel's pen. I can
only give their substance as it appeared to me.'You speak,' said he,' of expecting to see pearly
gates, golden streets, a river of life lined with
the tree of life, and high above every thing the
throne of God. So once did I, even till I burst
the fetters which bound me to my vile body,
and ascended to be for ever with my Saviour.
In him I have found more than I could have
asked or thought. There is no need here of the
sun or of the moon; for the Lamb is our light.
We more than realize all our conceptions of
beauty and splendor; and in him we have our
all in all. So, that although our spirits are invisible as air, and unaffected by objects which
on earth influence the mind through the sense;
yet, in the communion of one kindred heart
with another, and of all with our great elder
Brother, we find happiness, of which the glorious images and highly wrought comparisons of
the Scriptures convey but a faint idea.'
" Encouraged by his kindness, I ventured to
ask him still further, respecting the time of
Christ's coming to judgment.' Go,' exclaimed
Lockwood.           7




98         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
he, while I felt, by means of the mysterious
influence which connected our souls, that the
holy fire of love in his heart was burning with
fresh ardor-' Go, correct the erroneous impressions that are so widely prevalent on this subject. And when you return to earth, I pray
you, cease not to testify to the truth in this
matter. Christ will come to judge the earth;'but of that hour knoweth no man.' WTe know
it not. The very wisest of the archangels desires to look into these things, but with cheerful resignation yields his desire to the will of
Jehovah. How absurd, then, for puny mortals
to attempt to pry into the counsels of the Most
High.
" But Christ is coming for judgment, not
merely at the end of the world. He comes often, and often when he is not expected. Whenever the bell tolls the knell of death, he has
come. Whenever the coffin is borne through
the streets, he has come. When the infant is
taken by the hand of death, when blooming
youth is snatched away, when manhood withers and falls, when old age drops into the grave,
when one is crushed by a falling tree or struck




RESIDENCE IN HOMER.        99
dead by lightning, in all these cases Christ
has come to judgment. Go, then, and apply
this truth to the hearts of men. And endeavor
to make them feel, that as individuals they
should be prepared for the coming of the day
of the Lord.'
"I awoke, for I had been dreaming. And
yet I felt that it was not all a dream. The
clearness with which I had been enabled to
perceive the uncertainty of the time when
Christ would come to every one by death, and
yet the certainty that he would thus come, had
tranquillized my mind. And as I gazed upon
the lovely face of nature around me, and the
glorious sun just setting in a blaze of beauty,
my heart rose in gratitude'to my Father who
made it all;' and I vowed to spend my life in
leading men to the Lamb of God, that they
may be prepared for his coming at the GREAT
LAST DAY."
Among other papers of this date, is an interesting review of Stephens' " Central America,"
which shows that during his residence in Homer he had read that work with attention.
Also a small memorandum-book, written in




100        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
pencil, and labelled "Stray Thoughts, No. 1,"
filled with short articles like the following:' INFLUENCES OF GOD'S SPIRIT IN SUBDUING
HEARTS.-Did you ever see the eaves of a
house fringed with icicles, and the pleasant sun
of a spring morning pouring his beams upon
them? How they fall, one after another, melted by his genial influences. Even the largest
and strongest, that which has been growing all
winter, is at length obliged to yield, and falls
to the ground broken in a thousand pieces.
And then did you look at the same roof after
the heat of the day, and see that not one of
those mementos of winter remains-that all
are made trophies of the warming and softening influences of the glorious sun? Even so,
when the Sun of righteousness arises upon a
congregation of hardened sinners, by the influences of his Spirit, one by one they are
brought to the foot of the cross, subdued by
the power of Jesus' love. Even those who
have grown old in the service of Satan, and
whose hearts are as hard as the nether mill.
stone, are unable to resist his gentle call, ap.




RESIDENCE IN HOMER.         101
pealing to every generous thought and grateful
feeling, until in some instances hardly an individual in the community is left impenitent."
" How tender was the affection which Jesus
possessed for the family at Bethany! And how
happy is that family where all are beloved by
Jesus! Who can read the account of the resurrection of Lazarus without tears?'Jesus
wept.' How well is he fitted for our Mediator,
who could thus sympathize with sorrow while
here on earth."
" A THOUGHT FOR SELF-EXAMINATION.-In confessing sin I always feel as though, even if God
could forgive me, I never could forgive myself."
" ThIE RECKONING TIMIE. —  After a long time,
the lord of those servants cometh and reckoneth with them.' How does the disobedient son
of an affectionate, yet strict father feel, when,
after a day of uncommon rebellion, he hears,
4'My son, I must have a reckoning with you.'
How does the fraudulent clerk grow pale with
terror, when his employer announces his determination to have a reckoning with those to




102        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
whom he has committed his business. What
horrors gather upon the criminal, when the day
of reckoning comes with the violated human
law; and what infinitely greater horrors will
torment the one who has violated God's moral
law, when the last great day of reckoning shall
come!"
"'Then Paul and Barnabas waxed bold.'
They waxed-not angry, not impatient with
the Jews-but bold. Their message had as
much of love, and was quite as free to the
Jews as before."




RESIDENCE AT SILVER LAKE.    103
CHAPTER   TI.
RESIDENCE AT SILVER LAKE.
THE last week in July, John went to Silver
Lake. This is the name of a town in Susquehannah county, Penn., about eight miles north
of Montrose, and about twelve south from Binghamton.
Some twenty or thirty years ago, one hundred and ten thousand acres of land in that part
of the state were purchased by Dr. IR     of
Philadelphia, who with his wife came to reside
within the limits of the purchase, while the
country for miles around was an unbroken wilderness. On the shore of a beautiful sheet of
water, which the enterprising owner called Silver Lake, a tasteful mansion was erected, and
the adjacent ground laid out in imitation of
European scenery. A description of the doctor's tract of land was drawn up by an English
gentleman, and sent across the Atlantic; in
consequence of which a number of foreigners
came over to settle on the tract. An unusual




104        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
proportion of the inhabitants at the present time
are Irish Roman-catholics.  And one object
which John hoped to accomplish in his new
situation, was to benefit these by furnishing
them with religious reading, especially with
the Holy Bible.
In the bosom of this retired, wealthy, and
honorable family, John remained till the middle
of the following April; when, owing to an unexpected arrangement, by which the family at
the Lake was to be absent for some months, he
returned to his parents in Berkshire.
Secluded in an uncommon degree from intercourse with the surrounding population, this
family had become accustomed to look for
sources of enjoyment within themselves. During the long winter evenings they were together, John being one of them; when the time
was agreeably filled up with conversation or
with reading. And the library which Doctor
I —--- had collected being for its extent and
variety perhaps unequalled in this country as
a private gentleman's library, there was no
danger of exhausting that source of profit and
amusement. By intercourse with the elder




RESIDENCE AT SILVER LAKE.    105
members of this family, and the intelligent
friends that visited them, John's colloquial
powers were perceptibly developed. Always
interesting and instructive in the social circle,
he afterwards become still more so.
The welfare of his young associates, for
whose benefit especially he had been invited to
become a member of the family, he never for a
moment seemed to lose sight of. To aid them
in their studies, and to improve their moral
character, was his constant aim and the subject of his daily prayers.
In connection with the teacher and one or
two other pious individuals, he aided in sustaining a Sabbath-school and a weekly prayermeeting, in a private house several miles distant from the Lake. In the same place there
was preaching by a missionary once in two
weeks. And on the Sabbath, when there was
no preaching, a congregation regularly assembled to hear a sermon read, and the other exercises of public worship performed, by these
same individuals. From the depositories in
Binghamton he procured religious tracts, which
he distributed as he had opportunity, and Bibles




106        JOHN D LOCKWOOD.
and Testaments, with which he supplied several families.
Since writing the above, I have received
from Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, intelligent as well
as devoted and experienced Christians of the
Scotch school, residing on the premises, a communication; from which, as affording not only
confirmation of the facts already stated, but
evidence of the general estimation in which
John was held in that vicinity, I take the
liberty of copying the following extracts:' SILVER LAKE, 19th July, 1845.
t MR. LOCIKWOOD:
"DEAR SIR-Your dear son was a general
favorite. Even the most regardless had to esteem him; and the most thoughtless were led
to think, by the example that was before them.
In his life and conversation, he was indeed a
living epistle, seen and read of all men.
"Soon after your son came to Silver Lake,
I found him not only pious and devoted to his
Saviour, but also possessed of a great deal of
that Christian charity that is not easily provoked.
" He became a teacher in the Sabbath-school




RESIDENCE AT SILVER LAKE.    107
very soon after he came here; and was often
requested to open the meeting with prayer;
which he did with fervency, and in an impressive manner. His class were young girls, and
some of them nearly his own age. And yet he
seemed to feel himself as a father among them.
And many times have I listened with pleasure
to the affectionate manner in which he addressed them, and the apt illustrations that he
used to explain and enforce the lessons they
had been considering.
" He also took a willing part in our weekly
prayer-meetings. His heart was engaged in
them. And I have felt my mind stimulated to
duty, and my heart refreshed, when joining
with him in these exercises..
" He also attended the bed of sickness. There
was one family in particular, where the mother
had died; and the eldest son, who had attended
her in her sickness, was dangerously ill. Your
son went often to see him in company with a
friend; and while they attended to his bodily
wants, they directed the mind of the sufferer
to the need he had of a Saviour; and their endeavors seemed to be blessed. The young man




108        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
got better; and he told me that he felt as the
psalmist had done, that it was good for him
that he had known affliction.
" He seemed to be alwzays awake to his duty,
and anxious for the welfare of all. He sometimes called on our Catholic neighbors, and conversed with them on divine things, and distributed to all he found-who required and would
receive them-Testaments and tracts. He used
to loan his religious papers, that a greater number might read them; and gave away tracts to
children and others. Indeed, he was a proof of
how much good may be done with even slender
means, when the heart and mind are engaged
in the work.
" In the exercises of the family, he was often
requested to lead in prayer; which he did with
propriety of manner and expression. And I
have been delighted with the ready way that
he improved any opportunity of making his
addresses to a throne of grace more impressive
to those who joined with him in the exercise."
Mrs. Simpson adds, "All who have had the
privilege of knowing the power of divine grace
in the life and conversation of a humble Chris



RESIDENCE AT SILVER LAKE.    109
tian, could bear testimony how brightly it shone
out in our departed friend, so early called to his
reward. To all experienced with the waywardness of the youthful mind when not under that heavenly influence, it was really refreshing to see the effects upon him, in restraining and conquering every earthly feeling.
" His mild, gentle, and affectionate address
and replies to all, gained even the esteem of
those who were inclined to scoff at what they
termed the over-strictness of the young instruetor. He joined with cheerfulness in the innocent amusements of the young; and his example had an influence that was beneficial, to
show the young that religion does not prevent
any rational pleasure.
"A wish to do good seemed to be the ruling
passion of his life. I have heard the mother of
a family who lived in the woods say, that one
(lark, rainy night, when a feeling of loneliness
had come over her, she was surprised to hear
footsteps approaching; and her surprise was increased when Mr. Lockwood stepped in, with his
cheerful voice and mild countenance, to try and
lead them in the paths of peace. And he lent




110         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
them from time to time books and papers, that
he thought would be useful to them. And she
said the friendly visits were oft repeated, and
anxiously looked for by all the family.' Yours with respect,
"J. SIMPSON."
Months after his death, I found among a
mass of other papers of his stowed away in a
box in the garret, a journal kept during his
residence at the Lake, to the very existence of
which I had till then been a stranger; which,
though from its local and personal character it
would be improper to submit it to the public
eye, contains abundant and precious confirmation of the facts alluded to by Mr. and Mrs.
Simpson; particularly of his self-denial in doing
good, and of that charity which "is not easily
provoked." The journal makes one hundred
and ten pages quarto, foolscap, and is neatly
written. A few extracts from it, on points
connected with his religious exercises, are submitted as a specimen.
"SUNDAY, Oct. 1. Another Sabbath, in another month; was glad to have another opportunity of uniting with the people of God, in




RESIDENCE AT SILVER LAKE.    111
commemorating the dying love of Christ. It
is also the communion-season in Berkshire;
and I love to think that I have been remembered by my dear parents at the table of the
Lord. They have been truly remembered by
their absent son.
"SUNDAY, Dec. 31. The last time I shall
write 1843. How swiftly it has passed. As I
lay awake this morning, I took a review of the
different circumstances in which I have been
placed during the year. The state of trial and
difficulty in which I spent my days, through
last winter. The delightful occupations of my
evenings, particularly when God's Spirit was
poured out in Berkshire, and souls were turning to Christ. Father's installation. My two
months in Homer, with all their pleasures and
their pains. My return home. Visit of our
New York friends, and the fact communicated
by himself, of cousin W's new birth. Exhibition at Homer, and my residence here.
What a note of praise should I render, that
God has preserved me from my disease another
year! If a year ago I could sing,'Here, Lord, I give myself away,'




112         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
what should be my feelings now? Oh, Lord,
I can do nothing more, even now, though my
debt has increased so much. Take me, and
make me as thou wouldst have me to be. If
it please thee to spare me another year, may
it be one of usefulness. And if not, may I be
found in the path of duty, and prepared for the,welcome messenger; for such may death be
to me.
"SATURDAY, January 6. To-morrow is comnlunion-season. I suppose it is also communion-season in Berkshire. How pleasant it will
be to know that my parents are remembering
me at the table of the Lord, at the same time
when I am joining in the same delightful exercise. May I be enabled to examine myself
thoroughly; to banish every worldly thought,
and to receive new strength for future growth
in grace.
" SABBATI, Jan. 7. Went to Friendsville.
It has been to me a very interesting day:
found it sweet to bring my friends in prayer to
God. Felt particularly a burning desire that
God would pour out his Spirit through all the
surrounding country; prayed earnestly for the




RESIDENCE AT SILVER LAKE.    113
conversion of E-, who was present. My
own dear brother had not a small share in my
petitions; nor did I forget my dear parents,
who perhaps were at the same time remembering me."
From the sequel it will appear that this " dear
brother" had only a few days before been led,
though unknown to John, to indulge hope in
Christ.
"SUNDAY, Feb. 11. There has been a great
deal of laughing, and light conversation in the
family to-day. I should think all, and particularly those who profess to appreciate the
Sabbath, would have no wish thus to desecrate
its sacred hours. And yet I have laughed as
much, and talked as lightly, as any one. But
I trust I have repented of it: and if God spares
my life till another Sabbath, I trust I shall be
able to prove my repentance to be genuine.
But perhaps I have already inflicted an injury
on Christ's cause which I cannot repair. How
do I know but some impenitent member of the
family has been noticing my inconsistency?
Perhaps Miss E, and she will leave this
Lockwood.          8




114         JOIIN D. LOCKWOOD.
week; so that I shall have no opportunity to
efface the impression from her mind. Why
did I not show that I really regarded the Sabbath's holy hours?'The heart is deceitful above
all things, and desperately wicked. Who can
know it?''Search me, 0 God, and know my
heart; try me, and know my thoughts; and
see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead
me in the way everlasting.'
" MONDAY, Feb. 12. Let fall this evening a
remark about our conduct yesterday. I have
reason to believe it was well received."
During the week he wrote the following to
his friend in Cortland, for whom he had selected the texts of Scripture bearing on the duty of
personal effort for the conversion of souls:
" SILVER LAKE, Feb. 16; 1843.
"D DEAR %WILLIAI- Your letter contained news
of much interest to me, though a good deal of
it of painful interest. Your own disappointment and sickness, and the situation of poor
F-    had truly a painful interest. While
the news that S. B-~ was preparing for
college, though it brought some anxiety for




RESIDENCE AT SILVER LAKE.    115
him, yet was good news.  I was glad to hear
that you still keep the temperance ball'a rolling,' and to see the list of your officers for the
missionary society, which shows you are awake
on that subject.
" I wish you could look in upon me in my
retreat.  My health is good, and I am making
progress, slow but sure, in my studies. A large
library opens its rich treasures to me; a thing,
by the way, often very injurious to a student,
by: inducing him to spend that time in reading which he ought to employ in exercise. To'unbend the bow,' however, I walk a good
deal, exercise myself in gymnastics, go out
hunting with the boys, and when I can, turn a
hand to the work on the farm. The family is
a very pleasant one; and the evening circle is
an infallible remedy for all the'blues' one may
have had through the day. Then, rarely a
fortnight passes but brings some extra excitement, which takes me from my studies for a
day, or half a day, and keeps me from becoming a mere book-worm. I hope, if I am spared,
to enter Yale College next fall, freshman class;
which I think I can do, with no trouble at all.




116         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
You see I don't mean to hurry myself. A life
is before me, which it is not likely will be shortened by moderation: and if I am not through
till my thirtieth birthday, why that is earlier
than many useful men have become ministers.
"After all, is not this one great secret of the
ill health among students, that they hurry too
fast? In climbing the hill of science, those who
expend all their thoughts upon the first steep
pitch, must expect to be obliged to give out.
The case is very often this-perhaps it may
have been so with you: a young man comes
from active business at a time of life when those
who have always been studying are in college,
and commences the preparatory course. He
sees those of his own age so far ahead of him
that his ambition is excited. He lays out for
himself more than he ought to attempt, and
more than he can accomplish; and then tries
even to exceed that measure. His constitution, naturally good, sustains for a time the
giddy whirl of the monotonous round, which is
almost unbroken by exercise or any amusement; and he is thus led to believe he is not
injured by it. He is intoxicated, as it were,




RESIDENCE AT SILVER LAKE.    117
with a passion for acquiring knowledge. And
this passion, if indulged to excess, is almost as
fatal to health, though of course not to morality, as a sensual passion. Thus our student,
though he may perhaps live through college, is
fairly' used up' when he has hardly started in
the race for knowledge. I rather wonder that
students are not all crazy, than that so many
are sick.  I said, perhaps the picture may suit
you. In its outlines I think it will. These
accord with my own experience. It was this
student's intoxication which took me from my
studies at the age of twelve years, after having
undermined a first-rate constitution; and then
kept me for more than four years so that I did
not feel safe from disease a day at a time.
And I have reason to praise God that disease
seized me so early in life, rather than at a later
period. For now, by care, my constitution has
been in a great degree restored, and I have
learned to prize the gift of health too much to
treat it lightly.
"You and I, dear William, have been in situations somewhat alike with regard to health,
and we can sympathize with each other. I know




118         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
I am as liable to be sick as any body; and
when sick, it is as hard for me as for any body
to resign myself to God's will. But I'll tell
you where I believe one difficulty lies in such
cases. You remember, in Pilgrim's Progress,
that when Christian came to the cross, his burden rolled off his shoulders, and he saw it no
more. Now the trouble with us is, that even
though we cast off our burden, we do not let
it stay in the pit at the foot of the cross. Perhaps we go on singing a while, as he did; but
our burden will come back. Now, if we could
always feel, as it were, careless about ourselves, knowing that we have no temporal
things to care, or fret ourselves for, we should
get along much better.
" Do you often see Drs. Goodyear and Hyde?
Their conversation has always been better than
medicine, when I have been dejected. I suppose they tell you to have nothing to do with
books, until your health is thoroughly established; and then to lay it down as a rule,'Don't hurry. Study no more than you can
easily bear. And when your health begins in
the least to suffer, drop your books at once un



RESIDENCE AT SITLVER LAKE.    119
til you are well.' Why, even if the state of
your lungs should forbid your ever hoping to
blow'the silver trumpet,' you have a respectable, profitable, and useful business upon which
you can fall back; and thus you have'two
strings to your bow.' Write as soon as convenient, and believe me,
"Your affectionate brother in Christ,
"J. D. L."
The insertion of the preceding, though long,
it is believed will be excused, inasmuch as it
illustrates so clearly John's characteristic maturity of mind, comprehensive views of education, and heartfelt interest in others-and particularly in those placed by Providence in the
trying situation of his beloved correspondent.
To proceed with extracts from the journal:
"SUNDAY, Feb. 18.!Mr. S-    gave notice
of a prayer-meeting next Wednesday evening.
This is what I have long wished. I hope now
to have a weekly opportunity of turning away
from the world, and enjoying a season of social
prayer. And my humble prayer is, also, that
the season may not be without a blessing to
the neighborhood where we go.




120         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
"SUNDAY, March 3. Had a very pleasant
time in singing, after the evening service.'Loving-kindness' was sung. What a sweet
hymn to the believer:
I?]l1 with my last expiring breath,
His loving-kindness sing-in death.'"
"TUESDAY, March 5.  Three years ago today, was I last attacked by that disease which
at one time caused my future prospects to look
so gloomy. I well remember how depressed I
was at the time, feeling that I should never be
well. But God in his mercy has ordered it,
that that dark time should close my night of
affliction; and since then I have been constantly improving in health. How should I
praise my heavenly Father, for all his mercies
to me!"
"TUESDAYx, March 13. Read in the family
this evening in'Home.' Am sorry to see Miss
Bremer display Socinianism so decidedly. The
description of a death-bed scene came in this
evening, and the name of Christ was not once
mentioned; and he was only once alluded to,
thus: that'one of our own number had been
into another world, and returned thence with




RESIDENCE AT SILVER LAKE.    121
the same human nature; thus offering us light
on the dark journey.' How blessed it is to feel'none but Christ;' and what a hollow pretension of religion is found in any belief which does
not make him all in all."
" THURSDAY, March 14. I like my moss hunting. And as I have such a good opportunity
here of analyzing plants, I think I shall devote
my afternoons exclusively to botany. How
sweet is it, particularly to the Christian, to engage in the study of any of the natural sciences;
to see the evident marks of design, and nice
adaptation of the means to the end, in the most
insignificant of the mosses. And how still more
delightful to feel,'my Father made them all,'
and can he be unmindful of me?"
"SATURDAY, March 16. Went this afternoon
on a tour which I had been long contemplating, to distribute tracts. The rain was pouring
down all the afternoon, and the road was exceedingly muddy, but I had a very pleasant
time."
"THURSDAY, March 28. Went over to see
C. How much I find my spirits freshened, and my soul revived by these visits.




122        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
C-  is now able to be up most of the time.
He still appears well; has commenced family
prayer, and manifests a determination to live
for God. God grant that he may hold out."
About this time he wrote as follows, to an
acquaintance in the Theological Institution,
Hamilton, N. Y.:
1" DEAR L      -A fine field for usefulness is
open in this region. 0 that I had the time,
the zeal, and the ability to occupy it! I put
forth a few feeble efforts; but what is that?
L-, we must work while the day lasts; for
the night cometh, when no man can work.
Many opportunities, which we are apt to think
of little importance, are daily afforded us, of
doing good to the cause of Christ. As a student, even, and for the sake of refreshing my
spirits, I often find a religious conversation,
after a walk to some of the neighbors' houses,
do me more good than any thing else.
Does R-  continue firm for the ministry? He
should not kill himself then with study. Write
at your earliest convenience; and believe me
"Your true friend and Christian brother,
" J. D. L."




RESIDENCE AT SILVER LAKE.    123
I add only the following short extracts from
the journal:
"}MONDAY, April 1. Mr. --  has proposed
to me to write a lecture, to deliver at Friendsville next week in his stead, as he will not
have time to fulfil his engagement: should like
to do it, and perhaps I may. Gathered this
afternoon, for Miss C-, some of' Cenomyce
rangiferina,' or reindeer's lichen."
"THuRsDAY, April 4. Have been driving on
my botanical lecture."'SUNDAY, April 7. Communion-day, as I
suppose, in Berkshire. I know my dear parents remember me, as also I know I have
remembered them."
"TUESDAY, April 9. WVent over to Friendsville this evening, and delivered my lecture."
The last entry reads thus:
" THURSDAY, April 11. Went to -.  this
evening. Spoke to the people of my parting.
Some were affected to tears. After meeting,
endeavored to impress on some of the young
men the necessity of a change of heart; but it
seemed to do no good. Oh, Lord, arise and




124        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
breathe upon these slain, that they may live.
Thy Spirit alone can reach their hard hearts."
Among the papers of this date I find, written with a lead-pencil, a manuscript volume of
one hundred and fourteen pages, entitled, " Notes
on Hume's England." It gives a condensed
view of the contents of each chapter, with the
page on which each item noted may be found.
The notes are brought down to the fifth volume, A. D. 1643. From this, it appears that
he not only read, but read attentively that celebrated work during this period.
Other papers show that he devoted some attention at this time to the science of chemistry.
Being favorably situated for the study of botany, he indulged himself with increasing his
knowledge of that science. And the lecture to
which allusion is made in the journal, is proof
of his success in that study. From comparing
dates, it will be seen that only eight days intervened, and one of them was of course the
Sabbath, from the time Mr. --- made the
request to him to take his place, and the evening of its delivery. And an inspection of the
journal shows that it must have been the work




RESIDENCE AT SILVER LAKE.    125
of only a few of those remaining days. Though
evidently only the first draft of his pen, and
bearing marks of being drawn up in haste,
extracts from it are inserted, not only with a
view of presenting a more complete portrait of
the writer, showing his object and his spirit,
but with the hope that some of the sentiments
expressed may be of advantage to the youthful
reader. The lecture opens with the following
introduction:
"Thomas Jefferson, after giving a graphic
description of that great curiosity, the Natural
Bridge in Virginia, remarks that hundreds who
have always lived within twenty miles of the
place have never seen it. We wonder at the
insensibility of these people to the beautiful
and the grand in nature; while, at the very
moment, we are living in perhaps still greater
insensibility to a thousand beauties scattered
within twenty rods of our own doors, by the
same hand which spanned that stupendous
arch."
Then follows a history of the science of botany; ending with a brief review of the Linnmean, or artificial system. This part of the




126         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
manuscript evinces an intimate acquaintance
with the subject. Omitting it, however, as being of interest only to a scientific botanist, the
following at the conclusion is presented, as
suited to attract attention among youthful
readers generally. After bringing before the
mnind the different seasons of the year, with
the flowers peculiar to each, and showing that
botany can be studied at any season of the
year, it is added, " The botanist, when he has
once analyzed a flower, will ever after hail with
delight its first appearance, as that of an old
acquaintance. If we would make our acquaintances of this kind more numerous, how seldom
should we have cause to complain of neglect
and coldness on the part of those whom we
thought our friends.
"In the world, the best rule is,'Make few
intimate friends;' but the botanist need not be
thus fettered. He may make his dear, though
silent friends as numerous as he pleases; and
as their number increases, he will be able to
view them with more and yet more satisfaction, as they look smilingly to heaven from their
humble bed, teaching him also to acknowledge




RESIDENCE AT SILVER LAKE.    127
with gratitude the source whence flow his numerous blessings; or bend their lofty heads in
graceful humility, instructing him by their example to be'meek and lowly of heart.' And
when adversity howls about him, and, of his
human friends, some have faithlessly deserted
him, and others are unable themzselves to breast
the storm, much less to sustain him, he perchance may find in one of his botanical rambles, which will now become doubly dear, a
clematis which has attached itself to a fragile
trellis, and along with its impotent supporter
been hurled to the ground by the hurricane of
the night before; while its neighbor, having
fortunately clung to an oak strengthened by the
storm of centuries, remains unharmed: the sight
will recall to his mind the exclamation of David,'It is better to trust in the Lord, than to put
confidence in princes;' and he will return
home, firmly resolved to seek no other support
than the arm of the mighty God of Jacob.
" I am young; and, I trust, may be permitted
to encourage attention to botany in my friends
who are also young. I am fond, at the proper
time, of amusement, of recreation; and I trust




128       JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
I may be permitted to recommend to those who
are also fond of amusement, a pursuit fitter for
that name than any of the vain, frivolous, destructive, and often vicious sports in which
youth so often engage. Are you fond of light
conversation and gay company? Assemble a
group, and sally forth in quest of flowers. You
will neither want disposition to talk, nor subjects to talk upon.
"Are you enamoured of the dance, and enlivened by the vivacity of the ballroom? Go
into the fields, with the grass for your carpet,
the birds for your music, and the flowers for
your party, and your heart will bound within
you. You will feel inclined to dance, rather
than walk; and this inclination will be the
natural overflowing of a joyful heart, not the
unnatural excitement of champagne and the
fiddle. And when you return from your ramble, you will not have an aching head and a
system unfit for business; but every power will
be invigorated. Your pulse will beat freer;
and you will wish for another leisure hour, to
renew your innocent sport.
"Are you fond of hunting or fishing?  Of




RESIDENCE AT SILVER LAKE.    129
course, then, you are accustomed to ramble in
the woods, and by the side of streams-exactly
the places for flowers. And if you are so eager
in the search for game, whose wanton death is
to the humane mind so distressing; how much
more eager will you not be to pursue the game
of the naturalist, to obtain which you need no
destruction of life. If you sometimes hunt for
days together with no success, and still are as
fond of the chase as ever, you would have this
advantage in becoming a botanist: you would
never be disappointed in obtaining your game.
You can hardly walk half a mile without finding some new curiosity. And the variety which
you find, and the necessity of looking sometimes closely, keep up the interest of the excursion, and prevent it from becoming a dull
monotony.
" But are you fond-I hope for the honor of
your village none can answer in the affirmative-are you fond of the intoxicating draught?
If you have become a slave to liquor, I must
take it for granted, that in this day of temperance you wish to be freed from its baneful influence. If indeed you do, try botany for your
Lockwood.         9




130          JOIIHN D. LOCKWOOD.
cure. Whenever your unnatural thirst seizes
you, fly to the fields in search of flowers, instead of the tavern in search of liquid fire.
Raise your spirits naturally by the exhilarating influence of the fresh air, and the delight of
adding a new specimen to your collection; and
not artificially and unnaturally, by the glass
which poisons while it excites.
"Are you a utilitarian, a matter-of-fact person? And do you undertake nothing which does
not promise to be of real, tangible use? Here,
again, you may be suited with botany. If you
believe that knowledge is useful, and that our
minds are strengthened by exercise, you will
cultivate this science to improve your memory,
as you do the mathematics for your reasoning
powers, or the languages to acquire fluency of
speech. If your memory is defective, you will
scarcely find any thing better designed to
strengthen it.
"Another advantage in this science is, the
love of order which it induces. You will find
every plant occupying a particular place in the
great system; and whatever be the minor differences of height, color, and sometimes ol




RESIDENCE AT SILVER LAKE.    131
shape, you will always find it in that place.
The very act of analysis requires classification.
And if you make an herbarium, a thing which
a botanist seldom neglects, you will find a good
exercise of your taste in its arrangement. You
may often be placed in situations where it is
of the utmost importance to know whether a
plant is nutritious or poisonous. Will it not
then be useful to know that any plant whose
flower has more than twelve stamens all inserted on the calyx, may be eaten with impunity; that one which has but five stamens,
one pistil, and a berry-like seed, is poisonous,
wherever it be found? These facts, and others
of the same nature, botany teaches. It also
speaks of the medicinal qualities of plants;
and tells with certainty, not only the properties which are possessed in common by whole
tribes, but also what particular species possesses those properties in greatest abundance.
Thus you will discover that the poppy and
the bloodroot are alike narcotic or stupefying;
and also what kind of poppy is so highly narcotic as to be profitable in the manufacture of
opiunl.




132        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
"Lastly, are you a Christian? And do you
take more than ordinary delight in looking upon
the works of nature-feeling that you can' look
from nature up to nature's God?' Are you
rejoiced when you see the evident tokens of
design running through all the works of our
Creator; and do you view each new instance
of nice adaptation as a new proof that'my
Father made them all?' Where can you more
fitly indulge these feelings than during a botanical walk? You see, in the spring, the delicate bud which has been preserved by a scaly
coat from winter's cold, gradually expanding;
and at length, when the continued warmth
convinces it that it is time to make its appearance, bursting the shell as if by instinct, and
springing out a verdant leaf or a fragrant flower.
You see again, in autumn, another embryo surrounded by another covering, to resist the frosts
of another winter, while all the old leaves are
stripped off, to prevent the snow from crushing
the branches to the ground. The evergreens,
indeed, retain their foliage; but in relation to
them, you see that their needle-shaped leaves
are better adapted than any others could be,




RESIDENCE AT SILVER LAKE.    133
to prevent a burden of snow from accumulating upon them. These are but common examples of the wonderful proofs of a plan in the
creation. On every side you find them. Even
the gaudy colors of many flowers, if they have
no other design, may serve to teach us,' If God
so clothe the grass of the field, which to-day is,
and to-morrow is cast into the oven, how much
more will he plothe you?'
" Your delight in your rambles will be greatly
increased by this last reflection. All nature will
seem to rejoice, and will call upon you to join
in its song of gratitude to the Giver of every
good and perfect gift. You will find it happiness enough to live, without resorting to any
artificial means to increase that happiness. And
you will constantly derive more and more pleasure from the hours you devote to the science of
botany."
During the period of his residence at the
Lake, John reviewed his classical studies, with
a view of offering himself, the next fall, as a
candidate for the Freshman class in Yale College.




134         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
He wrote to his parents regularly, once in
three weeks; and those letters are specimens
of filial and fraternal love. While it is not to
be supposed that a stranger will feel an interest in the perusal of such letters, in mass, even
if it were right to publish them, it is thought
that those who have followed the departed one
thus far, would like to see a few extracts from
these, which go still further to illustrate his
character as an intelligent and devoted Christian.
Under date of February 26, he thus writes:
"Had a long and friendly discussion with Miss
E. W.," an accomplished lady, intimate
at Silver Lake, and teaching the Catholic Female Seminary in B. "Miss E       does
not believe in the infallibility of the pope-says
that very few Catholics do; only prays to the
saints as one Christian friend on earth would
ask another to pray for him; and considers it
as an unspeakable source of consolation that
she hopes to go to purgatory.  She concluded
by offering to pray to the saints to pray for me.
I told her that if she would direct her supplications directly to Christ, I would reciprocate




RESIDENCE AT SILVER LAKE.    135
the favor. She said she would. I do indeed
pray for her. I assure you it quickens my spirit
of devotion, when I see such excellent people
so strict and devout in their attendance upon
the cold forms and useless and idolatrous rites
of the most perfect system of delusion that the
enemy of God and man has ever invented."
In allusion to some pleasing and unexpected
occurrences in connection with our family, of
which I had apprized him, he writes, "How
often is it, that such pleasant coincidences as
that of which you speak happen in our family.
Or is it because we'eye' Providence more
closely than some others?"
Perhaps this is as proper a place as anywhere in the volume to present a testimony to
the character of John, coming from an unexpected quarter. The following is to Mrs. Lockwood, from our friend Mrs. W —, mother to
lIiss E-, and shows that, notwithstanding
his views respecting Romanism were as already
expressed in the last letter, his character and
conduct were such as to command the respect
and win the affection of intelligent Romanists,
instead of prejudicing them against him:




136        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
" MY DEAR MRS. LOCKWOOD-I cannot let
dear M -'s letter go, without expressing my
deep sympathy in your sad bereavement. It
must be a gratification, though a melancholy
one, that your excellent son was admired by
all who knew him; and that his meek and
pious character carries with it a conviction of
his present happiness. He was one of those,
my dear Mrs. Lockwood, whom our church
reckons among her members, though separated;
as I feel assured he loved God sincerely, and
would therefore sacrifice all for the truth, if he
only knew where to find it. May God in his
mercy console you and your dear husband, and
strengthen you both to submit to his will without repining.
"Truly and sincerely yours, etc.,
"B. W.7"
In the last letter received from him at Silver
Lake, and dated March 22, 1844, he thus writes
in view of his future course: "I should like, if
possible, to be in some situation where I could
pay my way, or at least partly do it. I could
teach any thing that would commonly be required in a school in the country, except the




RESIDENCE AT SILVER LAKE.    137
higher mathematics. I think I could teach
botany, if it were necessary. I want to pay
some attention to that this summer. I am now
so far advanced in the languages, that I need
not hurry. And botany, besides, would give
me as much exercise as I would need.
" To give you a view of my state of preparation, I shall finish, next week, the fifth book
of Xenophon; and at the rate I am now going
on, it will take me a month to get the other
two. This I hope to accomplish, and then read
a little in the poetry of the Greek Reader. I
have read the 2Eneid of Virgil, the Jugurtha of
Sallust, and nearly half of Cicero. Latin comes
so easy to me, that I shall be able to finish the
remainder of each of these without much difficulty. Writing Latin, which they require at
Yale, is very easily learnt.  I ought to look
over my arithmetic, if I could, in some of its
higher applications. And this is another reason
why I should like to assist some teacher. I
might review my arithmetic while teaching it.
"I can think of no school I should like so
well as iM[r. Marsh's. Perhaps he may want
my assistance. But if not, I can take up with




138         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
him any book I choose. In any he is well
qualified to assist me. I shall have a good opportunity to pursue my botany and music also.
And then, above all, I could see dear home
once a fortnight-coming up Friday evening,
so as to attend the singing-school.
" And now, dear father, though it is looking
a good ways ahead, I will propose an arrangement for my college life. You know -     is
very anxious to go to college, but his father can
hardly afford it. Can I not hire and furnish
a room, and then invite him to share it with
me? This would somewhat lessen his expenses.
And with this arrangement perhaps his father
would feel able to send him. I would rather
you would say nothing about it to his family
until you make some decision. I think -.
would be as good a room-mate as I could have,
and I might be useful to him."




RESIDENCE IN BERKSHIRE.      139
CHAPTEfR VII.
RESIDENCE IN BERKSHIRE AGAIN.
ON the 15th of April, 1844, John arrived in
Berkshire, in good health and spirits; and in
every respect greatly benefited by his rustication at the Lake, and on the hills of Susquehannah county.
Instead of adopting the course suggested by
him in his last, it was determined, that as the
rest of the family wished to visit the city of
New York in the month of May, he, together
with the hired girl, should remain and keep the
house open; and then, and afterwards-as it
would be a -broken term-pursue his studies
until August, at home, in the same way as he
had done at Silver Lake. To this arrangement
the dear child submitted, though it evidently
cost him a severe struggle.
As soon as the season permitted, he began to
cultivate the garden, and the flower-bed in front
of the house; engaging in any thing within his
power which he saw necessary to be done, or




140        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
conducive to our comfort, with his accustomed
alacrity.
After the departure of the family for the city,
on the first week in May, he, with his characteristic love of order, distributed his time; endeavoring to apportion it judiciously between
study, exercise, devotion, etc. At this time,
having been preserved from his fits for more
than three years, neither he nor his friends
apprehended much danger of their recurrence.
In this, however, we were all destined to be
disappointed. He was seized again, between
11 and 12 o'clock on the night of Saturday,
the 25th of May, and under circumstances peculiarly afflicting.
On that evening, and not an hour previous,
I had arrived from New York, accompanied by
a young Christian brother from Cortland, an
intimate friend of John's. Occupying a room
on the first floor, he was awakened by my
knocking at his bedroom window; and on
recognizing my voice, arose and admitted us
into the house.
Delighted of course to see us, he proposed to
get for us some refreshment without awaking




RESIDENCE IN BERKSHIRE.      141
the hired girl. He did so; and while we were
partaking of it, became very much engaged in
telling me of an occurrence which, during my
absence, had taken place within the bounds of
the congregation. He, in connection with several others who were engaged in conducting a
stated prayer-meeting, had been arraigned before a justice court; he however being only
summoned as a witness. The occurrence was
a disgraceful one on the part of the prosecutors,
exciting the whole of the religious part of the
community, and enlisting their sympathies in
favor of the defendants; but the particulars it
would be occupying too much space to give in
this small volume. Suffice it to say, it was an
occurrence of absorbing interest in the neighborhood, and one which for the fortnight previous had severely taxed John's nervous system.
While thus engaged in apprizing me of the
history of this transaction, he became convulsed. The fit was light, however, compared
with those of former years. This being the
first of his attacks since we lived in Berkshire,
it was thought advisable to say nothing about
it, except to the family physician. On the




142        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
Sabbath he attended public worship, and took
his place with the choir as usual. And on
Monday morning he sent, by the hand of his
friend, letters to two young men in Cortland,
who he understood were engaged in studyingone of them with a view to the ministry. With
scarcely an allusion to his own recent affliction
and disappointment, and with his heart intent
on doing them good, he thus encourages one,
and warns and exhorts the other. To the one
he says,
"Dear W-, I feared, when I received
your last, that your health never would admit
of pursuing your studies. I congratulate you,
because now you can direct all your energies
to the doing of good in that particular line. I
am yet on the sea. It is not decided whether
I go to college or not, next fall. It will depend
somewhat on my health this summer. But it
seems to me that I can never be of much use
in any employment except the ministry; and
certainly not in that, with feeble health. Oh:
that all our ministers had the iron frame of the
Roman-catholic priest at -! I cannot begin
to say all I wish to."




RESIDENCE IN BERKSHIRE.       143
To the other, who it appears was not a pious
youth, he writes in his usual style of parental
anxiety and faithfulness.
"DIEAR K.. I am glad to hear you are
still going on with your studies. From the
time I first knew you, K, there at Mr.
B  -'s, and saw  your burning desire for
knowledge-a thing so uncommon to persons
with your advantages-I have heard of you
with deep interest. And now, K -, permit
ine in the few lines I shall write, as a friend
who has tried all the agoreeables and the disa-.greeables of study, to suggest two things of the
utmost importance. And the first is, there is
danger that ambition will cheat you out of
your happiness and out of your soul. The
honors of this world are mere baubles, and so
every one has found who has tried them. But
religion gives the fullest scope to the immortal
mind, while its pleasures never cloy the appetite. Secondly, don't, as you value your life,
study too hard. Eight hours of moderate, six
of hard study a day, is enough for any body.
The great thing is, to form a habit of study,




144         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
which you can continue without injury to
yourself through life. If you were going a
thousand miles on a wager, you would not set
out on a run.
"Excuse my freedom. Believe me, it is
prompted by a sincere interest in your welfare,
and love to you.
"Your affectionate friend,
"J. D. L."
This fresh attack seemed to present a formidable barrier, if not an insuperable obstacle,
in the way of his favorite plan of preparing to
enter college in the fall. An agricultural life,
as it then appeared to me, was that which his
heavenly Father designed that he should follow. If this recent paroxysm proceeded from
the cause to which we had attributed it, it
would be incurring too great a risk to throw
him into a position where, as in the profession
of a minister of the gospel, such large drafts,
especially on particular occasions, would be
made on his mind and heart.
The father and son being then alone for several weeks, conversed freely and familiarly on
the subject.  Conversations were had with




RESIDENCE IN BERKSHIRE.       145
several individuals about farms in the neigh.
borhood, and the best method of proceeding in
the case of one who, like John, was in a great
measure unacquainted with the practical part
of farming.
Prior to my return from the east, John had
received a visit from a young friend, a kindred spirit, who, although pursuing his studies
in the academy at Homer, was rather feeble in
health, and somewhat depressed in view of his
pecuniary embarrassments. To him John made
the proposition, if it should meet my approbation, to come and spend the summer with him,
and to make part of our family, gratuitously.
An extract firom a letter addressed to this estimable young man will disclose still more of
the state of his mind just at this juncture.':BERKSHIRE, June 27, 1844.
"DEAR WALDO-This don't look much like
writing the next week, as I promised to do
when you were here. But I assure you, that
if I could have given any encouragement that
we could study together this summer, my silence would not have been long. The facts are
these. I could not write before father came
Lockwood.         10




146         JOHN D. LOCKWVOOD.
home, because I wanted to ask him whether
you could be one of us in the family as well as
in the study. When he came home he gave
his assent to the plan.  But another difficulty
now presented itself. The excitement attending our lawsuit, of which you have doubtless
heard, was too much for my rickety nerves;
and I was seized with one of those attacks of
epilepsy which drove me from my studies at
the age of thirteen. I hoped I had entirely
overcome them; as it wtas more than three
years since the last attack.  But it now appeared evident to my friends, that though study
might not have been the cause3 of this attack,
my nerves were not strong enough to bear the
severe trials which a life of study and of ministerial labor would require. After waiting about
a fortnight, in hopes that I could still go on
after a little vacation, I yielded to the opinion
of my friends, who possessed better judgment
than I, and more impartiality, and decided to
give up study.
" Thus, dear Waldo, are we called upon to
resign our most fondly cherished hopes, when
they interfere with the designs of our heavenly




RESIDENCE IN BERKSHIRE.      147
Father. If my health had continued good, I
should have offered you temptations to come
and spend the summer with me, which I hope
would have been irresistible. Now, my attention must be turned to the pursuit-I had almost said despicable pursuit —of making money.
But no, it is not a despicable pursuit to make
money, when that money is consecrated to the
Lord, whose stewards we are of every talent
which he sees fit to bestow upon us.
"Your affectionate friend,
"J. D. L."
About this time, a neighbor needing some
assistance in clearing a fallow-slogging, as it is
called-the young men in the family proposed
to John to take hold and help them, doing what
he could. Without sufficiently reflecting on
the danger of overtaxing the muscular, as well
as mental powers, I gave my consent for John
to accept the proposition. The young men,
though his nearest neighbors and his intimate
companions, were ignorant of his recent affliction and of the necessity of moderation in his
labor. With his tow frock and trowsers, he
went with them  on the hills, and labored;




148        JOIN D. LOCKWOOD.
favoring himself as much as he felt disposed.
He thought he grew strong with the daily exercise. And he continued it, with some days
of intermission, for about a fortnight; when,
on the evening of July 15th, he was again
seized with the paroxysm, which however, like
the one previous, was comparatively light. In a
letter to his brother in New York, dated Berkshire, July 22, he gives the following history
of this attack:
" DEAR R       S -A week ago Monday evening, I again had a slight attack of that disease
which has so often, when I felt the strongest,
completely prostrated me. A few weeks ago,
A. B.  and his brothers, being about to log
up a fallow, asked me to work with them. As
I had nothing to employ me at home, but little
persuasion was needed, and I went on to the
hill with them  Tuesday of the week that
mother came home. You know that in clearing up land, the trees are first felled and cut
into lengths; and when the leaves and branches
become dry, they are burnt off, so that the
blackened logs alone remain. After these logs




RESIDENCE IN BERKSHIRE.      149
have been rolled together in heaps, they are
again fired; and when they have been entirely
consumed, the land is cleared. The part in
which I was helping was the rolling up for the
second burning. Pretty hard work, and no
mistake.  No matter about the black dust,
which covers one from head to foot with the
negro's skin: that is healthy. And the labor
is healthy too, for those that can endure it.
But you will see before long that I am not one
of that class. Tuesday morning I had not felt
very well before I went up. Stood it till dinner-time; but then could scarcely crawl home;
and it was not till Friday that I felt well
enough to try it again.  Friday afternoon
went up, and Saturday morning. You have
probably heard through aunt B   - how I
looked when mother came home. The next
week was one of rest to me; the B-  boys
were hoeing their corn. But week before last
they went again into the fallow. Determined
not to be discouraged, I went up too; and
worked, with the exception of half a day, from
Tuesday till they quit on Saturday. It seemed
to me that the more I worked the stronger I




150         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
grew; and that at last I stood it better than
almost any of them. But the bow had been
too tightly strung.  Monday, after whitewashing most of the day-another new trade I have
taken up this summer-I was seized with a fit
just after I had finished milking. The attack
was slight, but it left me weak; and I don't
yet feel as though I could roll logs all day."
These two attacks seemed to baffle our calculations. As the first threatened to cut us off
from the hope of ever seeing our son a minister
of the gospel; this last presented an obstacle,
equally formidable, in the way of his being a
farmer. It now became more evident than
ever, that undue bodily exertion was as unfavorable for him as inordinate exercise of the
mind.
A situation in a store was then thought of
for him. It may be proper here to say, that at
this time John was exceedingly desirous to engage in something; he said he hardly cared
what, but something which he might be able
safely to pursue for the remainder of his life.
He felt as if he had arrived at an age when he




RESIDENCE IN BERKSHIRE.      151
ought to be engaged in something besides vegetating.
MIr. Wv., from Cincinnati, being providentially in Berkshire just at this time, and
becoming acquainted with John, and with his
parents' wishes concerning him, invited him
to return with him to Cincinnati and be his
clerk, offering him favorable terms, so far as
compensation was concerned. The situation
was one which would in a measure gratify the
religious feelings of his heart; MlIr. W-.  being publisher of the Missionary Herald, and
other good books, and the head-quarters of
many of the valuable benevolent societies of
the present day. On advising, however, with
friends in New York, the project was abandoned; but with the encouragement that a situation nearer home, and perhaps still more congenial to his wishes, might be obtained for him.




152        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
CHAPTER  VIII.
VISIT TO THE EAST.
ON the 28th of July, John, in company with
a family in the congregation on their way to
the east, left home with a view of visiting
friends in New York and its vicinity, and travelling further east if he felt disposed.
The object to be gained was, to benefit his
health; and, if possible, find some situation
which he might fill, and in which he might be
useful. As I remember saying to him, when
he took his leave of us, he went like Abraham,
not knowing whither he went, but accompanied
by the heartfelt prayer that the God of Abraham would be his guide and protector. Going
among friends and relatives who knew his situation, who felt a deep interest in his welfare,
and who were abundantly competent to advise
him, his parents devolved on him in a great
measure the responsibility of deciding on any
course for life.
Dr. Waldo, in Berkshire, and also Dr. Good



VISIT TO THIE EAST.        153
year, in Cortland, were pupils of Dr. Ives of
New Haven. As both of them had frequently
referred to their old instructor as one who, in
former times, had been uncommonly successful
in cases of epilepsy, and as John had never been
in New Haven, I recommended to him to visit
the professor; and as commencement was nigh
at hand, to go to New Haven on commencement-week, where he would have an opportunity of gratifying his literary taste. And
furthermore, inasmuch as he had for years
been laid aside from study, and recently been
attending to it by himself, and as he might
wish to know whereabouts he stood in the
classical line, I suggested to him, as I could
conceive of no objection which would be made
to the course, to go into the examination-room
and take his place with the candidates for admission to the Freshman class. This he had
better do previously to his seeing Dr. Ives. If
he failed in passing examination, he must not
trouble himself about it; no injury would result from the trial. If he succeeded, then, in
conferring with the doctor as to the effect which
different occupations would be likely to have




154         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
on him, he might inquire respecting the effect
of a college life.
After having paused a few days, to visit
friends at Little Falls and in New York, he
went to New Haven, and, as I understand,
passed a good examination.
Few young men, perhaps, have entered the
examination-room under circumstances equally
embarrassing. Not only was the question undecided whether he should enter college, even
if he should receive the certificate of the examining committee, but owing to the recent
unexpected attacks of his old disease, he had
been prevented from completing his review of
studies which had been interrupted for about
five years; added to which were his fear of
the effect of excitement, and his having no
recommendation as to his literary qualifications
or his moral character.
On receiving his certificate from the examining committee, he, accompanied by an obliging
clerical friend from Binghamton, and Dr. Whelpley, a young physician from New Haven, a
relative, went to Dr. Ives in order to state his
case to him.  The result of this conference,




VISIT TO THE EAST.        155
and of other conversations with Dr. Whelpley,
was, upon the whole, favorable to a college life.
He did not, however, feel himself prepared at
that time to decide on trying the experiment.
But after visiting some of the curiosities about
the college, and attending the exercises of commencement, he returned to New York, with a
view of advising with his friends there, and of
seeking for some suitable place in a store.
With the same views, and also to confirm his
health, he visited Stamford, and then Poughkeepsie and Hyde Park. Thus he spent the
first four or five weeks of the vacation, looking
round for some opening in this wide world,
where he might safely and usefully labor for
his Lord, and yet unable to decide what was
his divine Master's will concerning him.
Among the successful candidates for the
Freshman class, were two young gentlemen
from Binghamton, whose parents were desirous
that John should conclude to enter college, and
to take a room with their sons. The father of
one of them, an intimate acquaintance and our
family physician, requested that John would
write to him as soon as he had decided on the




156         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
course he would pursue; in order that he might
make correspondent arrangements for his son.
Accordingly, under date of Hyde Park, Sept. 17,
1844, he wrote to this gentleman as follows:
" DEAR SIR-YOU wish I would let you know
when I have decided what course to pursue in
relation to going to college. My mind is now
made up, that, Providence permitting, I shall
enter at the beginning of the coming term,
which will be next week. Thursday I hope
Henry can come. It will be very pleasant for
all three of us, who were together at commencement, to be together through our college
course.
"It seems to me that I have decided aright,
in determining to go. My mind has been set
at rest, by fixing it upon this course. I am
free from that anxiety, that restlessness, which
before was continually harassing me. And I
hope, by proper care of myself, and the divine
blessing on my endeavors, to go on without
injury to my health. My health is now pretty
good, though I cannot endure a great deal.
Indeed, I think my nervous system generally




VISIT TO THE EAST.        157
is acquiring strength. And it seems to me,
that with care I may rub along through life
quite comfortably, though I can never hope to
be fitted for success in stormy times.
"Your affectionate young friend,
"J. D. L."
It was not, therefore, until the week before
the commencement of the term, that he decided
to join the class. Extracts from his letters to
his parents at this time, showing the character
and operations of his mind, may not be unacceptable.
Under date of New York, Aug. 17, he writes,
" AMY DEAR PARENTs-The past week has
been one of great interest to me. I have been
to New Haven, passed my examination without
difficulty, and received my certificate which
entitles me to enter Yale college. Besides this,
I have formed several pleasant acquaintances,
seen Professor Silliman's cabinet, and the
Trumbull Gallery, and attended, with great
pleasure, the commencement exercises.
"Tuesday afternoon, went with Mr. Brace
and J. Whelpley to see Dr. Ives. With respect




158        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
to employment, he thought the ministry would
not be safe. He would not advise farming. A
store would do, if I did not have to stand too
much. A country store might answer. If I
was fond of study, and did not find it injure
me, by taking it moderately, and paying attention to diet and exercise, I would be as well in
college as anywhere, and perhaps better. I
should be as likely to be well if studying in
college, as to attempt it by myself in the country. And after going through college, many
stations could be found in which I could be
useful, and at the same time healthy. But if
at any time in college my fits should recur, I
must throw up books entirely.
"II afterwards had another conversation with
Dr. Ives, but I have condensed the two into
one. J. Whelpley wondered why I hesitated
what to do; thinking that it certainly was best
to try the college life.'A store would do for one
whose tastes were for mercantile pursuits, but
to me it would soon become a dull monotony;
and debarred from improving my mind by
reading, or expanding it in any way, I should
be preyed upon by melancholy.' I believe I




VISIT TO THE EAST.        169
have stated all the important points in my conversations with James, and also with Dr. Ives.
From the whole, I have drawn the following
conclusions:
" First, I cannot hope to be useful as a
minister.
"Second, a farmer's life would be no less
injurious to me than a minister's.
"Third, it will not improve my chance of
success in any employment,'to vegetate' another year; for even if my health at that time
should appear somewhat better, prudence and
moderation in any employment will be as much
needed then as now. And these same things,
aided by the medicines which Dr. Ives recommended, will be very nearly, if not quite as
likely to insure my health now as then, or at
any future time.
"Fourth, a life in a store would do for me,
particularly a country store; for I do not
think with Dr. Whelpley that it would become
monotonous, as I should endeavor to change
entirely my habits of thought, and become interested in business-to make myself a business man. But,




160        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
"Fifth, it will be still better for me to go
through college, and habituate myself to study;
for this, if indulged in moderately, will have a
calming, rather than an exciting influence. And
it seems probable, that after I am through I shall
be able to find some employment of a literary
character, which will be beneficial to me.
"It seems to me that I have fairly come to
these conclusions, and my course on paper
appears very plain. But I know not how soon
my feelings may change, according to the circumstances in which I am placed, or the people
with whom I associate; and then my course
of reasoning might be changed.  In fact it
seems as though, whatever decision is made, it
will be in a great measure a guess, and if
successful, a fortunate guess. These opinions
which I have now advanced appear to have
more reason in them than any which I have
before heard or entertained. Perhaps it is because my feelings better accord with them. I
hope to have your judgment upon them when
you next write."
A younger brother was at that time a pupil
in the Collegiate Institute, Poughkeepsie-an




VISIT TO THE EAST.        161
institution under the care of Mr. C. Bartlett,
and almost unparalleled in our country for the
advantages it affords in the training of youth.
This brother had, the winter previous, been led
to indulge a hope in Christ, but had not yet
made a public profession of religion; and was
rather backward in conversing with others
about his religious feelings. His uncle's house
in Hyde Park is only about five miles from the
Collegiate Institute, and the two not having
seen each other since this supposed change in
the younger, one object which John wished to
accomplish by a visit up the river, was to have
a free conversation with R-  on the subject
of personal piety.
Several interviews were had, in which undoubtedly John was, as usual, faithful and affectionate. Still, however, he was not satisfied; but before leaving his dear brother, put
into his hand the following, which is without
date or superscription. It bears the impress of
his yearning heart:
" DEAR R-   — You know, from the letter
I wrote you last winter, how much rejoiced I
Lockwood.         11




162        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
was on hearing that you hoped you had become
a Christian. Though of course I felt anxious
for you, as I knew that time only would show
the genuineness of the work, and that you were
exposed to great temptations to forget serious
things; yet I gave myself up to the pleasurable anticipations which flowed in upon me, of
your character from that time, and to the hope
that you would pursue religion as you do every
thing else in which you become interested, with
zeal. I even went so far as to anticipate the
time when we should next meet; and thought,'If he has indeed tasted the joyful fruits of religion, and is daily drawing nourishment from
them, will not his first thought on seeing me
be of the great change which has taken place
in him since we last met; and of the fact that
while we were always brothers, we are now
brothers in Christ?' I hoped that your reserve
in talking upon religion would be gone; and
that our feelings and sympathies on this subject would have been the same.
"'These feelings lasted till I received your
letter. I was pained to see that you said so
little in that, and to find that you were so




VISIT TO THE EAST.        163
silent to all your friends, even to aunt BBut I then hoped that the change would show
itself in your conduct, and that by and by
you would be more free to speak on the subject; for I couldn't think it would be unpleasant for a Christian to converse on the subject
which ought to stand highest in his estimation.
But I was assured that it was really so, that
it seemed actually painful to you to converse
at all about your own feelings. I had been
told so by all I saw, who had an opportunity
of knowing; and for this reason I had, in a
great degree, given up my expectations respecting our meeting. As soon as I sat down
and reflected upon the subject, after having
seen you last Saturday, I determined to take
some opportunity of letting you know my feelings. I have chosen this way, because I once
heard you say that you liked to read better
than to talk upon religion. Though, for my
part, I do not see why you and I should not
talk as freely on this, as on any other subject.
" What evidences have you, dear R-, that
you are a Christian? Did you ever enumerate
them? Did you ever take a list of test ques



164        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
tions, and try yourself in that way? Still more,
Do you have daily assurance that your affections are set supremely on heaven; or does
your hope depend only on the experience of a
few days, last winter? What does this reserve
mean? You are not naturally diffident. And
even if you were, if you had met with so great
a change as you suppose, do you believe you
could help speaking of it to your nearest earthly
friends? I beg you, do not pass lightly over
these questions on the plea of no time to spare.
In a few weeks, you will probably enter on a
business in which you will be less disposed to
meditation than you now are. And it is vastly
important that before you mix in the worldly,
money-making crowd, you should know whether you have sought'first the kingdom of God,
and his righteousness.' If you are deceived,
and cherish your delusive hope, how awful the
consequences! How important, then, to have
good evidence. And if you find on examination that you have no such evidence, to rest
not till you obtain it.
" Will you not embrace the first opportunity
to throw off your reserve, and have a conversa



VISIT TO THE EAST.         165
tion with. me, that I may aid you in examining yourself? I will gladly attend to any hint
that you desire such a conversation. But if
you do not like this, will you write a letter and
hand it to me, giving all the evidence that you
can think of, and saying as much about your
feelings as you can? Particularly, be free with
me. Your letter will of course be confined
to this subject, but if you write one, do make
it as long as possible.  Do not put it off either,
but begin it at least at your first leisure hour.
Whether you write or have the conversation, I
hope you will not feel unwilling to have me
repeat what you say; for your friends, particularly father, mother, and aunts, have a
right to know your feelings. And it argues
poorly for the gratitude of a person rescued
from imminent danger, that he is not willing
to express that gratitude to his nearest earthly
friends.
"'If I could say any thing more to induce
you to come up to the mark, and take a stand,
a decided stand, on the right side, or to show
the importance of your pursuing the self-examination which I have proposed, I would say




166         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
it; I can only pray to God that you. may be
indeed a disciple of the Saviour.
" If you decide to write, I will let you take
a little book which I borrowed of Mr. Ludlow,
which will aid you to a thorough self-examination. If we talk the matter over, we will use
it in the same way-as a guide.
"Your affectionate brother,
"J. D. L."
R-   had been away to school for four
years. The day on which he left us, John felt
the separation keenly. And as illustrative of
his ardent natural affection, as well as simple,
childlike piety, I copy from his journal kept at
that time the following characteristic entry,
under date of Cortland, Sept. 1, 1840:
" Yesterday morning R     started for New
York with his two aunts, who have been out
here on a visit. He is going to spend the winter with aunt B  -, and attend school in the
university.
"After he had gone, I soon began to feel a
desperate loneliness. It seemed to me as though
I could sympathize, in some measure, with
those who have lost a dear friend. The feel



VISIT TO THE EAST.        167
ing kept growing upon me all day. Whenever
I thought of him, or saw any thing of his, my
throat would choke up, and I could hardly
speak.  Sometimes, indeed often, the tears
would come; but I managed to keep those
concealed from sight. I felt miserably. In the
evening, after the children were put to bed, and
I sat down with only father and mother, it
seemed lonely indeed. I have often sat down in
that way before: but then he was about in the
village, and would be home at nine o'clock. I
tried to read; but soon became tired-having
risen early in the morning, and also having
had such a pressure upon my feelings all day.
I took a candle and hurried off to bed with my
eyes full of tears. When I entered my bedroom, saw the empty bed, and reflected that
for the next nine months, and perhaps always,
I shall now be obliged to sleep alone-such
reflections as these'capped the climax,' and I
fell upon my knees and lifted my heart to God
in prayer. I prayed for resignation to his will,
that he would take away that lonely feeling,
and make me cheerful and happy. I poured
out mv whole soul before him, and arose feel



168        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
ing that my prayer was answered. My tears
were gone, and I undressed myself and went to
bed, trusting that God would sustain me. I
am afraid I shall still feel lonely some, for a
week or two; but very little, compared to
what I would have done, for'the Lord is on
my side.'"
For this brother, John ever felt great anxiety.
For his conversion he constantly and ardently
prayed: and with him, after the period of his
leaving us, he kept up an active correspondence. On hearing of the death of a much-loved
uncle, Hon. Peter W. Radcliffe of Brooklyn,
whose funeral R- had attended and after
whom he was named, John thought it would
be a good opportunity of impressing on him
important truth. And he sat down, and wrote
him the following letter:
"'CORTLANDVILLE, Dec. 12, 1840.
"DEAR RI-  -Our recent affliction is
probably still fresh in your mind; and I have
thought that it would be well for you to think
of it something in this way. You know uncle
Radcliffe was always a great friend to our
family, and to you in particular. He is now




VISIT TO THE EAST.         169
gone. So it will be with all your friends here
on earth. They can be here but a short time.
They will soon leave you, one after another,
and go to their long home. How important,
then, is it that you should have a friend who
will never leave you, nor forsake you. Such
an one you can have in Jesus Christ. HE is a
friend indeed; for the more earthly friends
forsake you, the nearer will he appear to you.
And when you come to die, while you lose
your friends on earth, you will go to dwell with
one who as far surpasses them all in every
good quality, as the sun surpasses the glowworm. And there, too, if you do choose Christ
for your portion, I trust you will find the most
of those friends who have gone before you.
So that in fact you cannot be said to have
lost them, but rather to have gained them.
"Another reflection is, death to-the Christian can hardly be called death; it is rather
birth. It is just the commencement of his life
of eternal happiness. The sinner, at that time,
can hardly be said to die; for then he just
begins to die. His most important part, his
soul, will be for ever, and ever, and ever, con



170         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
tinually dying, but never dead. Oh then, if
it is so terrible to think of dying once, that you
try to keep your thoughts from the subject as
much as you can, what must it be to feel eternally this anguish and pain of dying, without
any release in death?"
The tone of his correspondence with R -
was ever like that of a Christian to a beloved
son, giving him advice and encouragement in
the right path. Who would suppose, on reading the preceding, that it was a communication from a lad of fifteen, to a brother not four
years younger? Mark also the parental air of
the following, dated,
"SILVER LAKE, Oct. 6, 1843.
" DEAR R     -Your account of the scene
in which you took so prominent a part interested me much. I am exceedingly glad if you
are acquiring the command of your temper. I
should think it would be a very good rule,
never to become so much excited that you cannot speak mildly and deliberately. To a mere
man of the world, self-possession is of the highest importance. The philosopher's highest glory




VISIT TO THE EAST.          171
is his unruffled temper. But if, as I ardently
hope, you mean to form your character after
the Christian standard, the first point of attack
will be that pride which originates every evil
passion. Every instance in which you can
remain calm through provoking circumstances,
is one step, and a great one, gained. And I
am very happy to know that your character
has already undergone such a change for the
better in this respect."
In this passage, John undoubtedly recommends to his brother one of his own rules of
life —a rule, an adherence to which had gained
for him at Silver Lake the character of one
"not easily provoked."
In the trial at Berkshire to which allusion
has been made, though he sustained to the parties no other relation than that of witness for
the prosecutors, his sympathies were so much
with the defendants that he considered himself
as one of them, and insisted on bearing his
share of the expense to which they had been
subjected. In that trial it is plain, from the
effect it had on his health, that his feelings
were deeply enlisted and sorely tried. Yet all




172         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
who were present, even fathers in the church,
supposed he felt but little; and were struck
with the calmness and deliberateness with
which he gave in his testimony, and appeared
throughout the whole of the disgraceful transaction.
In another letter to R-, dated Dec. 22,
1843, he writes,
"I am reading Hume's history. Had not
you better take up Rollin, or something useful,
than the light, trashy reading, with which you
say you occupy your leisure hours? You will
be sorry in after-life, if you do not. Have you
read' The Young Man from Home?' If so, how
do you like it? I wish you would tell me in
your next, as fully as you please.
" Your affectionate brother,
"J. D. L."




VISIT TO THE EAST.         173
to tell you, without reserve, my feelings. First,
I will say that you are often remembered at
home, around the family altar, as are all of us.
And I have no reason to doubt, that both father
and mother daily ask God in secret to renew
your heart. As to myself, I am positive I have
thought more of you lately than for some time
previous. I have sometimes felt almost afraid
to think of your situation, and look forward
into eternity. For how could I bear to think
of my only brother dying without an interest
in the blood of Christ. - There is, in the life of
almost every person, a point upon which all
their future interests turn, both for time and
for eternity. It is marked in some, with more,
in others, with less distinctness. And often
the most trifling incident will turn the scale
either for life or for death. It appears to me,
that now may be just such a crisis with you.
I know not what I can say that you have not
heard repeated many times over, to induce you
to plant your feet upon the Rock. I can only
leave you in the hands of God, with the earnest
hope that you will not let this opportunity pass
by. If you should, how fearful may be the




174        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
consequences! How can you bear ever to go
away from church, or from the Sabbath-school,
Sabbath after Sabbath, when you know that
every such opportunity is recorded against you
in the book above as lost? Or, how can you
bear even to lie down to sleep at night, knowing that another is added to the days of sin
and rebellion against God, for which you will
have to answer at his bar? The command is,
to repent now. Not a moment is insured to
you. And as moment after moment is rolling
by, each one bears a sad tale to heaven of resistance against the infinite love of the Son of
God.
I"I wish you would write to me, giving me
your feelings without reserve. If you wish it,
no one else will see your letters, not even father
and mother, as I am now away from home.
~- is indulging hope.  One and another
around us are coming to the ark of safety:
and how long shall I be pained and grieved at
the thought that my own dear brother is still
holding out against the offers of mercy? Will
you not burst the bands of sin, and'seek first
the kingdom of God, and his righteousness?'"




VISIT TO THE EAST.          175
No sooner was he settled at Silver Lake, than
he again addressed his brother, under date of
Aug. 2, 1843; and after occupying a full half
sheet in giving him an account of the exhibition at Homer, etc., he proceeds:
"And now, R, to other matters.  I am
again where your letters will be private; and
as we are both at an age when our characters
are forming for life, we certainly can afford to
joke a little less in our letters to each other, and
spend the paper and time to better advantage....... Do you not want a room to yourself,
for a time, each day? It cannot be that you
have forgotten aunt B's instructions, and
mother's also, so much as to neglect daily secret
prayer.
1" The winter I spent in New York, our everwatchful mother wrote for me the following,
which at the time I thought but little of, and
threw it carelessly into my Virgil. Now, I
prize it as gold. And I send it to you, thinking you will prize it also; and hoping that you
will apply it, not only to the case mentioned
above, but to every case where right and wrong
are involved:'Whatever conscience tells you




176        JOIIN D. LOCKWOOD.
is right, that do, and leave the consequences
with God; and always remember, THOU GOD
SEEST ME.I
"I want to speak of another thing, dear
RI, and you must not be impatient at it.
You undoubtedly have many temptations, and
see and hear many things to excite evil lusts.
Beware how you yield to tenmptation. A deadlier vice does not exist, nor one which more
debases the body, destroys the soul, and kills
every feeling of self-respect; in a word, makes
one so completely miserable. When I look
back upon the pit from which I have scarcely
escaped-if indeed by God's grace I have escaped at all-I shudder; and every feeling of
my heart rises for my dear brother.
"Write as soon as convenient. And do,
dear R, devote as much space as you can
spare to the subject which you know interests
me most. Any of your troubles, if they are
worth writing about, will find in me sympathy
and confidence."
The preceding are a specimen of his communications with his younger brother. I have
examined the whole of the correspondence on




VISIT TO THE EAST.        177
his part, and through the whole of it I do not
find a line which his pure spirit, now in heaven,
need wish to have effaced. And yet, although
nearly every letter has something for Christ in
it, the reader must not suppose that the communications have nothing else in them. They
are interesting as a journal of passing events,
in which he supposed R- would be interested; and some of them are quite of the
humorous kind. The account of his school in
Berkshire, as found on pages 70-73, was addressed to him. And in that account, from the
manner in which he speaks of " trust in Christ,"
may be seen, not only the avidity with which
he would seize on every opportunity to recommend religion to his friends, but the facility,
the grace with which he could make a transition to it; perhaps, as in the case before us,
only to drop a word, and then to pass on to the
topic before him-enough, however, to show
where his heart is. Another illustration of the
same point occurs at the close of a letter to his
brother, dated at Little Falls, July 30, 1844:
"As far as I know, I am well; though my
disease is so deceptive that I never can trust
Lockwood.         12




178        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
my feelings. When I feel the strongest, you
know, I am often most in danger.
"' Let me apply this principle to a different
subject for a moment. If you and I, dear
R —, are Christians, we shall find it just so
with our hearts.'When' we are'weak, then'
are we'strong,' through Christ; but when
we have the most self-confidence, then is the
time for us to be alarmed. But, good-night.
I ought not to have left this subject till the last.
But now I shall have to leave off. Shall probably see you in the course of a month or so.' Your affectionate brother,
"J. D. L."
From the preceding we may infer how great
was his anxiety for R's conversion; what
joy the intelligence of that event must have
communicated to his heart, as well as among
the angels; and how ardently he now longed
to see him "come up to the mark," and be a
decided, active Christian.
The following incident occurred the day he
heard of his conversion. He was then residing
at Silver Lake.
The family at the Lake had just disposed of




VISIT TO THE EAST.        179
an immense stock of wool, the clip of two or
three years, and valued at nearly $10,000. On
receiving a check on the bank of Ithaca for
$3,000, the eldest son came with it into the
room where John was sitting, and holding it
up before him said, " There, John, what do you
think of that?" John read the check. It so
happened that the same mail had brought the
letter from his parents apprizing him of the
joyful news of his brother's hopeful conversion;
and taking the letter, he held it up before his
young friend, saying, with a countenance expressive of a heart full of tender emotion,' There; I have just received here what I
would not exchange for your check of three
thousand."
It may not be improper to add here, that
this younger brother, shortly after John's death,
became a member of the Mercer-street church,
New York. And there is reason to believe that
this letter, and the last conversations of his
brother, since departed, have not been lost
upon him.




180         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
CHAPTER IX.
ENTERS YALE COLLEGE-HIS DEATH.
JOHN entered college at the opening of the
term. He went alone to New Haven, and made
his purchases and arrangements agreeably to
his own inclinations, guided by his own judgment. But Providence seemed to raise up
friends for him. Wherever he went, it was his
happiness to be beloved.
In the spring of 1840, he accompanied me
to Philadelphia. And while the General Assembly were in session, we both, having been
kindly invited by my esteemed friend and classmate, Hon. Joel Jones, made his house our
home. Mrs. Jones, taking a deep interest in
my son, requested him to write to her after his
return home. In compliance with this request,
John wrote to her a letter, in which, after giving an account of one of his attacks, and expressing thanks for the kindness of friends in
Philadelphia, he sends several messages to individuals, and among them this: "Please give




ENTERS COLLEGE-HIS DEATH.    181
my love to S   -, and tell him that I regret
that I said so little to him when I was there,
on the subject of religion. I have regretted it
ever since, and have prayed over it; and I hope
God has forgiven me. But what I did say to
him will be sufficient to be a swift witness
against him, if, in the great day of accounts,
he is not found on the right hand of the.Tudge."
In a letter of condolence from  MIrs. Jones,
she expresses the hold which the dear child had
taken of her heart, in the following tribute:
" His Christian attainments were very remarkable; and his heavenly-mindedness was always
apparent.  To ane he was an interesting and
profitable companion; so gentle, so frank, so
affable, so unobtrusive, and yet always ready,
when called upon, to contribute his share to
the general fund of conversation. He seemed
deeply imbued with the spirit of the gospel.. He was a lovely, lovely youth; and if
so lovely to a stranger, what must he have
been to a parent's heart?"
During his first visit to New Haven, in conmmencement-week, he, a stranger, experienced




182        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
some difficulty in finding a place to board. He
was received at length into a family where a
few students were accustomed to board; and
when about to leave, he asked for his bill: he
was surprised to find that the family would
receive nothing pecuniary from him as a compensation.  And now, on his second visit,
though alone, and in an uncommon degree unprepared for a winter's absence from home,
and more for entering on a life in college, he
was not only favored by friends, but ingratiated himself into the good-will even of strangers. Mr. and Mrs. H, parents of one of
the young gentlemen from B-.  before alluded to, providentially found him; and having accompanied their son for the purpose of
seeing him comfortably fixed in his new situation in college, kindly advised John, and succeeded in effecting the arrangement which had.
been desired by them and the parents of the
other student from B-. The three youths
were pleasantly situated in the private family
of Mr. Ives, in York-street.
On Saturday, Sept. 28, John wrote to his
parents as follows: "The first leisure time I




ENTERS COLLEGE-HIS DEATII.   183
have had I improve to give you some account
of myself. I know how anxious you must feel,
as I came so unprepared for a settlement. It
is indeed almost a wonder to myself that I
have succeeded as well as I have, coming as I
did without a single article of furniture, with
scarcely an article of clothing suitable for winter, and more than all, with my most important books, grammars and dictionaries, at
home. But amidst all the confusion of getting settled, buying furniture, and arranging
matters, I have been providentially enabled to
keep in a great measure free from excitement.
The weather has become cooler, just in the
right time; so that I have been enabled to do
much more than I could in the summer, and
with far less danger..... Our tutors are all
pleasant and capable, and the class appears to
be a pleasant one..... Give my love to the
children; and tell them, that if brother John is
spared to reach home next summer, he will
expect to see them all greatly improved in
every respect.
"Your affectionate son,
"J. D. L."




184         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
For the remainder of the memoir of my
child, I can do little else than let him tell his
own story; and this will be brief. Four more
communications were received from him; in
the first of which, dated October 5, he says,
"I am becoming quite accustomed to the
college routine. For exercise, I have kicked
football a little; but find it too violent, and
mean to quit it in toto. Walking is the best
exercise I can take.  IMy health continues
good by drinking a glass of Congress water
every morning. Mly cold does not trouble me
much. But whenever I go into a room where
I breathe confined air, I have a troublesome
tickling in my throat. I believe, however, this
is rather a nervous affection than any thing
else; for I scarcely ever raise any thing. I go
to bed, as father recommends, in good season.
I never study after nine, and am almost always
in bed before the clock strikes ten.  Charles'
alarm goes at five, so that I have seven hours
for sleep. I had thought that I could not do
with less than eight; but if I once become
accustomed to it, I suppose seven will be
enough. I think I feel more and more the




ENTERS COLLEGE-HIS DEATH.    185
necessity of the greatest care, to keep from
attempting too much before my college habits
are firmly fixed.... Our class prayer-meeting comes on Tuesday evening; so I shall
almost feel myself at home. Another thing
which often causes me to think of Berkshire,
the college choir use the' Carmina Sacra,' and
often sing familiar tunes. I should endeavor to
join the choir, were it not that they meet every
Saturday afternoon for rehearsal; and I do not
like the idea of'signing away my liberty' of
Saturday afternoon."
October 19, he again writes, "My health
has been pretty good. To be sure, I daily take
sometimes Congress water, and sometimes a
pill. But then I console myself by thinking,
that I could find, in all probability, no place
where this would not be necessary, at least for
some months; that in every other respect I am
better off than I could be anywhere else; and
that even if I should always be obliged to do in
this way, I would still prefer college life to any
other. But in all probability my habits will be
formed before long, perhaps by next term; so
that I shall not require any medicine.  My




186         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
spirits are almost uniformly good: lessons easy,
and I hope before long to get some time to read.
As to honors, I think I may truly say, I am
not at all anxious about them.
" We have several good scholars, really
thorough; and the tutors will make us all so,
if possible. They are generally very faithful.
Evening prayers is generally a very interesting
time to me. We have excellent singing by the
college choir. The other evening they sung'Naomi,' to words quite appropriate; and it
almost made me choke.  They have also lately
sung'Meribah,''Brattlestreet,''Seir,''Hamburg,' and others, which seerned peculiarly my
tunes, from their associations..... lMy hour
for being in bed is nine o'clock.  I stop studying at half-past eight. This is necessary, because Charles' alarm goes at five. At first, I
tried being in bed at ten. But I soon found
all the unpleasant feelings arising from want
of sleep; and when I changed the hour, I felt
so much better, that I was ready to exclaim,'Eureka.' I am very much obliged to you for
having inquired so particularly about the family
at the Lake.  I still feel the deepest interest




ENTERS COLLEGE-HIS DEATH.   187
for them; and hope and pray that those boys
may yet be brought under the influence of the
gospel of peace."
Nov. 13, he writes, " My health, I think, is
gaining. I am the most troubled with those
twitchings of the nerves which have troubled
me before; but I think I am improving in that
respect. My head is generally clear for study;
and my stomach, with proper care of my food,
in good order. It seems as though it would be
impossible to find a place better for me than
this; and that if I fail here, I shall be utterly
at a loss. The greatest danger is that of being
led on to attempt too much; and against this
I mean carefully to guard. I commenced teaching a class in Dr. Bacon's Sabbath-school last
Sunday; but think I shall give it up, as it
takes from me that rest which I so much need.
I find, however, that I do not feel so well, to
sit in my room all day; and have about come
to the conclusion, that it can do no hurt to take
a walk for exercise, as I do every day. But
still, I have some doubts respecting it. Can
you tell me what I ought to do?
"Though there are great temptations in col



188        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
lege, yet if a person puts himself in the way of
the religious influence, that also draws with
great force.  The frequent prayer-meetings,
and the fervent exhortations of the professors on Sunday evenings, seem almost irresistible by one who puts himself in the way of
them."
The extract which follows will not be understood without some explanation. It is an
apology for accepting the office of church committee; and an assurance that, though he had
accepted it, his speculative views of duty reinained the same as they were before.
The acceptance of the appointment needed
no apology. The necessity for making it arose
unquestionably in his mind in consequence of
a conversation which passed between us shortly
after the unexpected attack on the night of the
25th of the preceding Mlay. Being then alone
with him for several weeks, I conversed with
him freely, and endeavored-whether justifiably or not is a question-to turn his thoughts
into a new channel.
It is presumed that every reader of the preceding narrative will believe me, when I say,




ENTERS COLLEGE —HIS DEATH.    189
that from the period of his early conversion, it
was never once necessary to urge on him attendance to religious duties. Sometimes I have felt
as though parental influence might, with propriety, be interposed to restrain him in his
attendance on meetings, and efforts to do good.
But never did I venture to express to him my
thoughts on this point, till at the time above
alluded to. Then, presuming that his health
would require him to engage in agriculture,
and aware that his attention to the subject
would be required; and also that then, as it
had been for years, his heart was all engaged
in ideas of laboring for the good of others, I endeavored to impress on him the necessity of
letting go this anxiety for others, as though the
whole world was resting on his shoulders, and
of feeling that, as an inhabitant of this earth,
he had a work to do in taking care of himself.
Never before had I been situated where I felt
myself called on to take this position. But
I felt at the time that duty to my son required it. And now I can only express the
hope and prayer, that at the great last day,
when we both shall meet, it may not appear




190         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
that I acted the part of " Mr. Worldly Wiseman," instead of a truly Christian parent.
The extract alluded to is from the last letter
which was superscribed by his own hand, written Saturday evening, Dec. 1, and is as follows:
"I delivered father's letter from the church
to one of the members of the senior church
committee, and to-day it was read the first
time before the church. I have been chosen
by my class-mates as a member of the church
committee. Thus you see they are drawing
me into the harness. After I became convinced
that I could not be a minister, I felt sensibly
the effect of my change of purpose upon my
spirituality; more particularly upon my interest in the conversion of others. And when I
came here, I felt like resting from care for the
good of others, as well as from every other
care; and living as the great majority of Christians do. I believe, that from the very importance of the subject, this kind of care is more
likely to wear upon a person than any other.
I know that it has often borne heavily upon
me. One great reason against my becoming a




ENTERS COLLEGE-HIS DEATH.    191
minister is, that in that station such anxiety
would be so likely to overwhelm me. And
though the worth of souls is great as it is, yet
I cannot believe it my duty to spend half a
dozen years perhaps, in directly laboring for
them, and then die; when by taking care
of myself, and doing what I could in other
ways, I would have a reasonable prospect;, under God, of being spared to accomplish much
more in the end than I otherwise could. With
these views I came to college. Indeed, I feel
much in the same way now. That is) I have
much the same views of duty; but did not
see how I could refuse the election of my classmates. The vote for me was larger than for
any one of the others who were chosen; and
if I should decline, I did not see whom they
would choose from our division. When I look
at it, the responsibilities of even this office are
tremendous. But I mean to endeavor to keep
as much as possible from thinking of these;
and to do what I can, from time to time, as
calmly as I perform any of my accustomed
tasks. A great deal is expected here of a member of the church committee. He must watch




192        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
over the spiritual interests of his division, much
as a pastor does over his flock; and report once
in two weeks to the general committee, composed of the committees from all the classes.
I have made a beginning in finding out the
spiritual character of the members of our division; and hope, by system, to keep an eye upon
them all: and yet not do so much as to wear
upon my health."
The next was commenced by John, but finished after his death by his afflicted friend and
room-mate. It is dated Dec. 14, and commences as follows:
" DEAR FATHER-I commence a letter a
week earlier than I otherwise should, because
the two remaining Saturdays of the term are
devoted to writing prize translations; and I
am anxious to have time enough to do our
friend the'Excerpta' full justice, without being hurried.
"'The most important news I have to tell
you will not, I fear, be very welcome. I have
had another fit. A week ago last Thursday,
just after eating a hearty dinner, and finishing




ENTERS COLLEGE-HIS DEATH.   193
off with a liberal piece of mince-pie, I was
commencing my Latin lesson, when I was
seized with the convulsions. From all I can
learn, I was attacked as I always am; but, as
I have been for the three or four last times,
with comparatively little violence. I was treated with the greatest kindness, not only by the
family, but by all my class-mates who heard
of it. Several were in to see me; and some,
two or three times. I did nothing the next
day at my regular lessons; and nothing of consequence on Saturday. Monday, feeling pretty
well, I began again; and have kept on all this
week. And now I think I can say without
presumption, I am better than I have been in
a long time. I have daily feared lest this new
state of my system should be interrupted; but
still it continues. How much longer it will,
my heavenly Father only knows. But I trust
in him, that as I think I followed -the leadings
of his providence in coming here, he will permit me to stay.
"You may ask, why I did not immediately
leave, or at least write home, and cease from
studying till I should receive an answer. I
Lockwood.        13




194         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
doubt whether I could have done the last, as
I was not actually sick, so as to prevent my
studying. The reason why I did not leave at
once, or write home immediately, is the same,
namely, I had strong reason to believe the attack
was not caused by study. Dr. Ives laid it to
the mince-pie. Perhaps it was partly that;
but there must have been some other causes.
It seemed very clear to me, and Dr. Ives said
so too, that the attack could easily be accounted for without laying it to study. Indeed my
studies, for the week or so previous, had been
rather light. We were reviewing in algebra;
and the other studies were not very hard. I
therefore concluded, that as I had just sent off
a letter to you, I would say nothing more about
it till my regular time for writing again; and
in the mean time. begin studying when Dr.
Ives should think it safe, and adopt all possible
measures of security for the future. The result thus far has been, as I said before, encouraging beyond my hopes. And it seems
to me that I can with safety continue my
experiment at least for a time. Vacation is
now near at hand; when an opportunity will




ENTERS COLLEGE-HIS DEATH.   195
be afforded to obtain new vigor for another
campaign."
The remainder of the sheet is filled up by his
room-mate, and is as follows:
" NEW HAVEN, Dec. 21, 1844.
"REV. MR. LocKwooD —It remains for another hand to finish the epistle of your departed son. John has gone! Suddenly he was
snatched from us, and carried, as we have full
reason to believe, by angels to Abraham's
bosom. He tells you the state of his health
down to the time when he was writing. He
took a severe cold within a few days; and
Wednesday he was almost laid up with it. His
head and throat seemed to be choked up with
catarrh. He attended the two morning recitations, however. At noon I found he had some
fever. Although I did not apprehend any serious
illness, I asked him if I had not better call in
Dr. Ives. He said, no; that he should try to
sweat it off at night. We put a bed in our
warm room; and having bathed his feet in hot
water, and taken warm drinks, he retired. The
next morning, on asking him how he had rested,




196         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
he said it seemed to him that he had not slept
at all. After breakfast, with a reluctant con.
sent from him, I went for Dr. Ives. He promised to come immediately after his lecture, at
ten o'clock. He accordingly came, and made
one or two prescriptions. He said John had
considerable fever. At night the doctor came
again, found his fever quite high. He said he
calculated to have him sleep that night; and
gave him a powder to that effect, as I suppose.
John retired to bed pretty early, his drinks by
his bedside; and was requested to call us if he
wished for any thing. Yesterday morning we
found he had had a very restless night. Dr.
Ives came in after breakfast; said John was
very sick, and left new prescriptions, which
were administered according to his directions.
Dr. Ives came in again at noon, and said that
he-would call again in the evening. By this
time John began to grow rather wild. He had
been a little so at times in the forenoon. In
the evening one of the tutors came in to see
him.... The doctor not coming very early,
I went after him. He had quite severe paroxysms after Drs. Ives and Whelpley left; but he




ENTERS COLLEGE-TIIS DEATH.   197
gradually grew more quiet. We continued to
give him his medicines; but he seemed to
breathe with more and more difficulty. I saw
this, and was about starting for Dr. Whelpley,
when he came in, and said John was dying.
At a quarter past twelve he breathed his last,
without a struggle. He has complained of no
pain from the beginning.
" Yours in haste,
"H. S. WEST."
The class, on being made acquainted with
this sudden breach upon their number, met
and passed the following preamble and resolutions, namely:
"Whereas, by an afflictive dispensation of
Providence, we are called to mourn the death
of our beloved class-mate and friend, who had
endeared himself to us by his amiable character and sincere piety:
" Resolved, That we deeply sympathize with
the parents and friends of the deceased.
"Resolved, That as a mark of our sorrow,
we wear the usual badge of mourning for
thirty days.
"Resolved, That a copy of these resolutions




198        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
be transmitted to his parents; and also that
they be published in the New Haven papers,
the New York Observer, the Binghamton Courier, and Republican."
The parents take this opportunity to acknowledge with gratitude the receipt, not only
of the preceding, but also of an affectionate expression of sympathy from the pen of Wm. K.
Mehaffey, appointed to forward them.
From the preceding extracts of John's letters
while in college, it appears that, in compliance
with the injunctions of his parents, and the
recommendations of physicians, he denied himself the satisfaction of applying his mind to
study as many hours as his inclination would
have craved. His parents having a circle of
relatives and other friends in New Haven, he
was desired to become acquainted with them.
From his letters to us, it appears that he was
in the habit of calling upon some of them already, and that it was his intention to enlarge
his acquaintance of this sort. If he visited
more than is common among students, he
did so, not because he had an aversion to
study, but as a matter of relaxation and of




ENTERS COLILEGE —IIS DEATH.   199
duty, to gratify his parents, and to guard his
health.
On Saturday morning his afflicted roommate went to all those relatives in town, with
whom he knew John had formed an acquaintance, and apprized them of his death. With
hearts bleeding with grief and sympathy for the
bereaved, they not only repaired to his boarding-place and superintended all the arrangements necessary for a decent burial, but several
of them, spontaneously and without concert,
despatched letters to his relatives in the city of
New York, apprizing them of the event.
Communications from some of those friends
since his death not only confirm the report
which from time to time our son gave us, but
express the feelings of satisfaction with which
those calls of his were regarded, and even anticipated. One of them, addressed to Mrs.
Lockwood, is as follows:
"lNEW HAV EN, Dec. 21, 1844.
" OMY DEAR COUSIN-YOU may easily imagine
how we were shocked this morning, when a
messenger called to inform us of your darling
son's death. Every evening this week, we had




200        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
been anticipating a promised visit from him;
and every time the front-door bell rang, some
one of us would exclaim, That is cousin John.
And last evening when some friend called,
imagining it was his well-known step I heard, I
went to meet him. Fearing he was not as well
as usual, as he did not call last evening, I had
intended to-day to request sister M-V to let
their man call and see if sickness had prevented
him. So we had previously done, when he has
failed of making his habitual weekly call. Last
Friday evening, the last time he came to see
us, just a week before he died, he seemed very
cheerful, but appeared to have a slight cold, or
influenza. I then requested him to let us know
immediately if he felt any worse, that we might
administer to his wants or necessities; at the
same time telling him I should never forgive
him if he did not let us know, as he might
suffer for the want of proper attention. He
told me he certainly would let me know if he
were sick; but remarked he was sorry he
caused his friends so much anxiety. I have
been down twice to-day, and have seen Mrs.
Ives, with whom he boarded. She seems sin



ENTERS COLLEGE-I-IIS DEATH.    201
cerely afflicted at this painful dispensation of
Providence; and I have noti the least doubt has
done every thing in her power to alleviate his
sufferings. Indeed, she told me he never admitted that he suffered the least pain. Dr.
Whelpley told me that he was with him until
his last moment, that he finally seemed to rest
in sleep when his spirit, as a bright gem, went
to deck his Saviour's crown. The casket,
beautiful, is left. And 0, what a placid and
sweet expression-so much like life! And surely
that expression was an index of his soul.
"I have reserved some of your son's hair. I
will send it by some of your friends from New
York, whom we expect to attend the funeral."
The following tribute is from another, dated
New Haven, January 7, 1845, and addressed
to Mrs. Lockwood:
"If, my dear cousin, you believe with me,
that not one iota of intellect or acquisition is
lost, that all enlargement of mind, all knowledge gained, if rightly used and consecrated to
the service of the Redeemer, goes with its possessor to the world above, to fit him for a higher




202         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
station there, you will not lament John's diligent and successful study, during his sojourn
here.
" You will be glad to learn that he won golden
opinions from all who knew him. I have made
diligent inquiries of the young men I know,
those who did not sympathize in his higher
aspirations, as well as those who did, and from
all I have heard the same testimony of respect
and regard. He was, I am told, the first scholar
in his division; but over and above all was the
influence of his religious character.  --
told me that he had never known a death in
college produce so general an effect as your
dear son's; and he hoped the result would be
such as to afford much comfort to his friends."
From other sources gratifying information
has been received, not only in reference to his
standing in his class as a student, but in the
college as a Christian. The unanimity with
which his fellow-students elected him as one of
the church committee for his class, affords some
proof of the confidence which they were willing
to repose in him.
His parents value as a treasure the following




ENTERS COLLEGE-HIS DEATH.   203
testimonial, recently communicated to them
from one of his associates of the church committee; and which, as one of the tutors who
has read it informs me, " expresses," he has no
doubt, "the views and feelings of his classmates generally."
" As a scholar, he stood high in the estimation both of his teachers and class-mates. The
general voice of the men of his own division
had placed him among the first in his class.
Yet, if we may judge from his own actions and
manner, his aim was not to surpass others, but
to attain to excellence. His ambition was not
that of rivalry, but of high purpose. In his
studies as well as in other things, he evidently
kept in view the great end of his being, the
glory of God.
"His character as a man was unblemished
in the eyes both of his fellow-Christians and of
the irreligious. I have never heard the charge
of inconsistency brought against him, even by
those who always judge harshly of Christian
character. His influence was always on the
side of right and decorum. No one thought of
looking to him for aid in any scheme of disor



204         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
der, or disregard to college authority; yet he
was never backward in giving his influence in
favor of any plan of usefulness. He took an
active part in the formation of the class Temperance Society, of which he was chosen president, though he did not see fit to accept the
office. He had about him an air of stability,
and of innate dignity, which commanded the
respect of all who knew him. He had nothing
of that levity which destroys the influence of
so many professors. The general expression of
his countenance indicated a cheerful sobriety
of disposition; though the state of his health,
which was poor all the while he was in college,
sometimes gave him an air of languor. Often
before his last sickness, and especially since
his death, have I heard from the pious members
of our class, remarks showing their attachment
to him, and their confidence that his influence
would always be in favor of religion and order.
"But we love most to think of him as a
Christian. His piety was of that humble, consistent stamp which, without obtrusiveness, is
evident to every one. No person who has spent
a day in his company would fail to discover it.




ENTERS COLLEGE-HIS DEATH.   205
His piety was that of the heart. His affectionate disposition and gentle dignity of manner
often enabled him to introduce the subject of
religion to the attention of those who scorned
to listen to it from the lips of others. His manner of conversing with the impenitent convinced them that he was impelled to do so, not
merely by a sense of duty, but by a heart tenderly alive to their best interests. He was
accustomed to take part in almost all our class
prayer-meetings. His prayers were characterized by humility, a sense of sinfulness and
dependence, trust in God, and confidence in
the worthiness and ability of the Saviour. His
exhortations were usually on subjects suited to
warm the Christian's heart, and encourage him
in the path of duty. I well recollect some of his
last addresses. On the last Sabbath before his
death-he died on Friday night-he spoke to
us on the uncertainty of life; making it a motive to the Christian for greater activity in the
service of Christ; little thinking at the time
how soon his remarks would be verified in his
own experience. And on the succeeding Tuesday evening, at a prayer-meeting in my room,




206         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
he addressed us on the subject of the goodness
of God; particularly as shown by our constant
preservation: saying,'Every beat of the pulse
is a blessing from God. In this way alone we
receive at least sixty blessings every minute;
in an hour, sixty times as many; and in a day,
a year, a vast multitude.' Then laying his
fingers upon his wrist he exclaimed,'Oh, how
good is God, to preserve us in being for a single
moment!' I remember these expressions the
more distinctly, because they were the last I
ever heard him utter. We had hoped to enjoy
his society for years to come; but God in his
wisdom and goodness had planned for him better things.'JOS. ROWELL."
The funeral was attended on the afternoon
of the Monday succeeding his death. It was
near sunset by the time the congregation were
assembled in the chapel; and several who were
present have remarked on the impressiveness
of the few religious exercises on that occasion;
particularly on the tender expression with which
the following touching hymn of Bishop Heber
was sung by the college choir:




ENTERS COLLEGE-IIIS DEATH.              207
"Thou art gone to the grave, but we will not deplore thee,
Though sorrows and darkness encompass the tomb;
The Saviour has passed through its portals before thee,
And the lamp of his love is thy guide through the gloom.
Thou art gone to the grave-we no longer deplore thee,
Nor tread the rough path of the world by thy side;
But the wide arms of mercy are spread to enfold thee,
And sinners may hope, since the Saviour hath died.
Thou art gone to the grave-and its mansions forsakingPerhaps thy tried spirit in doubt lingered long;
But the sunshine of heaven beamed bright on thy waking,
And the song that thou heard'st was the seraphim's song.
Thou art gone to the grave-but'twere wrong to deplore thee,
When God was thy ransom, thy guardian, and guide;
He gave thee, and took thee, and soon will restore thee,
Where death hath no sting, since the Saviour hath died."
In consequence of this sudden death, an unusual solemnity seemed to rest on the minds of
the students; and the friends of Christ abroad
who knew John, prayed most earnestly that
the Spirit of God might descend as a copious
shower on  that venerated  institution.   The
members of the church and the officers of the
college, for a time, felt greatly encouraged to
hope that this blessing was about to descend.
Vacation, however, which commenced within
ten days after the funeral, though it lasted only




208         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
two weeks, dissipated in a measure the serious
impressions which an event so affecting was
suited to excite. Although no general revival
of religion was experienced in the college, the
friends of Christ have reason to believe, that
both in the institution and elsewhere the dispensation was blessed to the good of souls.
As another testimonial of the affection and
respect with which the class regarded John,
they resolved to erect a monument to his memory. Their first design was to procure a stone,
the cost of which was one hundred and twenty
dollars. It is one of the wise regulations of the
college, that in cases of this sort the faculty
must be consulted, and their consent obtained.
In this case the faculty approved of the resolution of the class to erect a monument; but
objected, mainly in view of the injurious tendency of the precedent, to the amount to which
they were about to tax themselves, and restricted them to sixty dollars.
The monument, which stands in the new
college lot, in the north-west part of the city
burying-ground, is a plain, four-sided column
of Italian marble, five feet in height from the




ENTERS COLLEGE-HIS DEATH.   209
block of granite on which it stands; gradually
tapering to the capital, which projects three or
four inches. On one side of the shaft, is the
following inscription:
JOHN D. LOCKWOOD,
A MEMBER OF THE
FRESHMAN CLASS, Y. C.
SON OF REV. PETER LOCKWOOD,
OF BERKSHIRE, N. Y.
DIED DECEMBER 20, 1844.
E T. 19.
ERECTED BY HIS CLASS-MATES.
Mrs. Lockwood and myself have once visited
the spot. It was late on the afternoon of Saturday preceding commencement-week. Lingering there, we became interested in deciphering the inscriptions on two old tomb-stones,
which stood at the head of our son's grave, and
which told us who were his neighbors in that
house appointed for all the living. The nearest
reads thus: "In memory of that amiable and
pious youth, Wm. Joseph Sweetland, of Hebron, a student at Yale College, who departed
Lockwood.         14




210         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
this life, August the 20th, 1776, in ye 19th
year of his age."  The other on a stone adjoining, reads as follows, namely, "Here lies the
body of Israel, the son of Hezekiah Brainerd,
who died, a member of Yale College, Jan. 6,
1784. 2Etatis Suee 23."
We took this last to be for the brother of
David. Brainerd the missionary. We wiped
our tears, and came away.
"IO the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable
are his judgments, and his ways past finding
out!" This exclamation of an apostle, though
penned originally in view of that dispensation
of divine Providence by which the Jews were
rejected and the Gentiles called, presents itself
as appropriate in view of the series of dispensations in reference to the life, the death, and
the burial of this beloved son. To say nothing
now of his life and death, I am struck with the
view of the ways of God derived from a consideration of his burial-place.
On his mother's side, John Davenport Lock.
wood was a descendant, in the seventh generation, of the Rev. John Davenport, who was the




ENTERS COLLEGE-HIS DEATH.   211
first minister of New Haven. If John gloried
in any thing of an earthly nature, it was in his
being a lineal descendant of this puritan ancestor. Among his manuscripts sent to us from
New Haven, is "A Genealogy of the Davenport Family in America," obtained by him from
some source during his residence in college.
God loves to honor his children. "Them
that honor me, I will honor," is his language.
Had the question been asked John while in
health, where he would prefer that his body
should repose till the resurrection, he might
have considered the question as improper, and
would have answered, if he answered at all,
that it was a subject to which he had not
given a thought; that it matters but little
where the body is laid, if the soul is only at
rest with God in heaven. Sure I am, if any
one had pointed out to him the spot where his
remains now lie, in the cemetery of New
Haven, ornamented and pleasant, beneath a
monument erected by mourning and beloved
class-mates, and among a group of college
students who, like him, had died away from
home, he would have considered himself un



212        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
worthy the honor proposed to be put on him.
With characteristic modesty he might have
turned away his face and wept, thinking within himself, but "who am I, or what is my
father's house?" Sure I am, that in his estimation, the most distinguished niche in Westminster Abbey would have borne no comparison with the ground where his remains now lie.
When I think of his loosing from his parents
under the embarrassing circumstances which
have been detailed; then floating for weeks,
unable to ascertain the will of his heavenly
Father, and uncertain in what direction to
steer his course, and then anchoring his bark
in New Haven, I cannot but ask myself in
admiration of the ways of Providence, did the
God whom he served waft him to my beloved
Alma Mater, and give him the hearts of his
teachers and associates, in order that He might
honor him with so desirable a resting-place in
the home of his fathers' sepulchres?




SUMMARY.             213
CHAPTER X.
SUMMARY.
ENOUGH, perhaps, has been said; and yet I
cannot lay down my pen without endeavoring
to sketch a miniature likeness of John, as he
appeared in the different stages of his life, and
under the different circumstances in which, by
the providence of God, he was placed.
And, 1. John in the nursery. One effect
on my own mind of the compilation of these
memoirs has been, to bring his infantile form
before me. I can now see him, the little boy,
amusing himself with blocks. Nothing that
his parents could get for him would interest
him so uniformly, and for so long a time, as a
set of blocks, which he could put together in
the shape of houses or castles, and then knock
them down again. And after he commenced
the study of geography, he would amuse himself by laying them out in the form of rivers,
etc. During the season for flowers he is tracking his way through the grass, picking the




214        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
dandelions, and hastening to show them to his
mother and all the family, exclaiming, " Pretty
dans, pretty dans." In the nursery, he was a
happy child. Now methinks his little voice
sounds in my ear, as during his hours of play
he attempts to express his happiness in a monotonous sort of tune. For, though he was
fond of music, he was not a natural singer;
though in after-life he succeeded in obtaining
a knowledge of the science of music, and
learned to play a little on the flute, and always sung in the family, and in latter years
had a place with the choir, he never probably
would have succeeded in being an accomplished singer. The only time when I recollect
seeing him weep over any difficult task, was
when he was first attempting, with others, to
learn to sing. He could master the theory,
and every thing which he could see. But there
was something more, something which depended on the ear; and the sounds would not
come out right to the ear.
2. In the family. And here he was all that
his parents could wish a child to be: obedient




SUMMARY.               215
and respectful towards them, and affectionate
towards his brother and sisters. He was always
orderly and quiet in the house; cheerful himself,
and doing all in his power to make those around
him so. He was ever ready to assist where
he could be of any use. Each of his three little
sisters was taught to read by him; and from
him acquired the first rudiments in arithmetic.
And they loved to be under their elder brother's
instruction.
Possessed of information uncommonly varied
and extensive for one of his years, and being
naturally of a lively turn, he was an agreeable
companion for the parlor or the evening fireside.
3. In the school-room. HIere he was a pattern for boys; diligent and persevering in his
studies, respectful to his teacher, and kind and
obliging to his companions. As a consequence,
he succeeded in his mental efforts, gained the
confidence of his teachers, and the good-will of
his associates. One trait in his character deserves especial notice, namely, his Christian
manner of receiving injuries. When ill-used




216         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
by any of his associates, he never retaliated.
I do not remember that he ever once quarrelled
with another boy. Though John understood
the English language, and could analyze a difficult sentence in it as well perhaps as any lad
of his years, he never attended to the English
grammar as a separate study: this he acquired
through the medium of the Latin and the
Greek. Milton's "Paradise Lost" he studied
as a scholar would his Virgil. And not a sentence would he pass till he could understand
and analyze it. And in his copy of the work
I find a manuscript in lead pencil, being notes
on the first ten books, and up to line 545 of
the eleventh book; in a few instances noting
"obscure" against a passage. As a scholar,
he was uncommonly exact, thorough, and mature.
Soon after the issue of the first edition of
this work, the following communication was
received from Rev. Henry A. Nelson, dated
Auburn Theological Seminary, Jan. 8, 1845.
" MY DEAR SIR-I have just read your memoir of your lamented son, loaned me by brother




SUMMARY.              217
McKinney. I cannot refrain from immediately
expressing to you the gratification I have received from the perusal of the book; and my
thanks for your having given us so faithful a
portraiture of so engaging a character. I wonder it did not occur to me, when I knew you
were preparing this work, that there was an
interesting period of his life, in which I had a
better opportunity of observing him than any
one else. I mean the few months he spent at
Homer, during which I was his teacher.
"I still feel disposed to express to you the
gratification I experienced from watching your
son, and studying his interesting character,
during the short time when he was my pupil.
His recitations to me were in the Latin and
Greek languages. I have never listened to
translations from a pupil or a fellow-student
with greater pleasure than to John's. I remember, too, the satisfaction with which his
class-mates used to listen to his recitations.
He had one class-mate much older than himself, and who, as I have often said, possesses
more mental vigor than any young man whom
I ever instructed. I have often heard him ex



218        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
press the delight with which he observed the
action of John's mind. His translations evinced
sound judgment, refined taste, a vivid perception of the beautiful and sublime in sentiment
and language, and a knowledge unusually
thorough for his years, of the principles of the
Latin and Greek languages.'"His manifestations of moral character were
not less pleasing. If he had failed in any instance to apprehend the true meaning of his
author, he received the hint which set him
right, not with an expression of countenance
which denoted chagrin and mortified pride, but
with a look which indicated the delight of an
ingenuous mind at the discovery of truth. HIe
was grateful for aid in finding a beautiful
thought which had eluded his search. His
deportment in other respects was characterized
by a manifest appreciation of the proprieties of
his position as a pupil, and a conscientious
regard for them. As he boarded in the same
family, he was not only my dutiful pupil, but
an agreeable companion. He manifested in his
intercourse those traits which you ascribe to
him. His mind was always active. In school,




SUMMARY.             219
he not only studied his text-books, but he
studied his class-mates and teachers.  I remember that in one instance I was severely
tried by the conduct of one of his class-mates.
In a conversation which afterwards occurred
between us, John showed that he had watched
the case with intense interest, and as I thought
with a clear apprehension of the principles
involved. I remember well the kindness and
delicacy of feeling which he manifested towards
his class-mate, and the delight which he expressed at having learned, as he thought,
something of importance respecting the action
of mind, and the principles which should be
observed in dealing with minds in certain
moods.
" The evidence which the memoir gives of his
proficiency in botany recalls to my mind this
fact. I had paid little attention to this science,
and knew only its simplest rudiments. In some
of my leisure moments during that summer, I
read part of Mrs. Lincoln's work, and in several
instances analyzed with John, some of the
flowers in Dr. B's garden, in which we
were wont to spend our moments of relaxation.




220        JOHIN D. LOCKWOOD.
John always manifested a deep interest in the
subject; but though he was as well fitted to
be my instructor in botany, as I his in languages, he never displayed this superiority with
ostentation. He preferred to converse upon
those topics in which his superiority would not
appear. We could enjoy together those hints
at theological truths of which botany is so
fruitful.
"H. A. N."
4. In the Sabbath-school. His parents were
not solicitous to send him very early to the
Sabbath-school. They were unwilling to entrust him at a very early age to any teacher on
the Sabbath-day, and away from home. When
he was about six years of age, however, he became a member of the Sabbath-school in Binghamton; and from that time till the day of
his death, with only the slight interruptions
occasioned by his temporary absence or indisposition, he was either as pupil or as teacher,
heartily and actively engaged in the cause. In
the progress of his history I have noted his
connection with the Sabbath-schools in Binghamton, in Cortland, in Homer, at Silver Lake,




SUMMARY.              221
and his desire to be useful in that way in New
Haven. Wherever he went, he never failed to
attach himself to a circle of youths, whose welfare he seemed to have deeply at heart. And
it is believed that he has never been in a place,
even for a short time, and formed acquaintances of this sort, where he is not remembered
with unusual interest and affection. Mlany,
connected with the Sabbath-schools where he
has lived, may at last rise up and call him
blessed.
5. In the social prayer-meeting. He never
requested to be excused when asked to lead in
prayer. And whenever the opportunity was
given for remarks, he never suffered the meeting to languish for want of some one to occupy
the time. Far from avoiding these sacred
circles, he always attended them, unless unavoidably prevented. Whoever else might flag
in their attendance, he would be punctual; and
generally, in the juvenile meetings, he was requested to take the lead. And while he was
ever ready to contribute his share of time and
effort to sustain them, and render them inter



222         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
esting, he was by no means considered as
offensively obtrusive. If any one else was
ready to occupy his place, he was always
ready to relinquish it with cheerfulness. He
seemed to understand the precept of the apostle, and to act upon it: "In honor preferring
one another." Instead of wishing to be foremost, he always strove to promote the advancement of others. For he was taught, among
the earliest lessons of his childhood, that the
superior worth of others would not lessen his;
that the relative inferiority of others would not
elevate him in the sight of God; and that his
great aim should be, to increase the amount of
moral excellence in the universe.
Wherever he has lived, his influence has been
felt in bringing forward the youthful members
of the church to love the prayer-meeting, and
to sustain it by their efforts. Youthful members, encouraged by his example, have overcome their natural reluctance to speak and to
pray in public.
John was a believer in the efficacy of prayer.
His practice of making particular individuals
subjects of his prayers has been alluded to




SUMMARY.              223
And it is an encouragement to all those who are
copying his example in. this respect, to note the
cases in which such are now professors of religion and exemplary Christians.
6. In tIe church.  Though admitted at so
early an age into the church, and though in his
prayers he always confessed his remissness and
wanderings,: certain it is, he never went astray
so far as to occasion the least anxiety of his
parents, or to attract the notice of his brethren.
He was a- regular and punctual attendant on
the preparatory lecture, and on every regularly
appointed church-meeting. So far from absenting himself from the communion-season, he
was always present. It is believed, that from
the time of his first partaking to the close of
his life, he did not miss one such season. In
the church-conferences and prayer.meetings,
and meetings for business, while he never
exposed himself to the charge of meddling with
matters -either too high for him, or belonging to
men of adult age and mature experience, he
was always ready, whenever ally project for
doing good was before the meeting, to express




224         JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
his own opinion, and encourage the hearts of all.
He carefully avoided every thing which looked
like dictating to others in the church.
He commenced a journal at the time he was
eight years old, which, with occasional interruptions, he continued as long as he lived. In
this journal the daily exercises of his heart
appear, mourning over his unfaithfulness and
unprofitableness, and breathing forth desires to
be useful.
7. On the Sabbath.  The whole of this
sacred day he used to spend "in acts of public
or private worship, except so much as was
taken up in works of necessity or mercy." The
Sabbath never seemed a weariness to him. On
other days he habitually read, as a student,
the New Testament critically, in its original
Greek. On this day he studied the inspired
volume with a view of catching the spirit of it,
and reducing to practice what he read.
8. In affliction. Early in life he was called
to endure pain. He bore this yoke in his youth.
But all his other trials were as nothing, in com



SUMMARY.              225
parison with his epilepsy. This threatened to
blast all his prospects, and to disappoint all
those hopes of usefulness which he had so fondly
cherished. He read various medical treatises
on the subject.  He understood the operation
of the disease.  He well knew that unless it
was checked, it would, sooner or later, make
fearful ravages on his mind, as well as on his
body. Yet it is believed no one ever heard
him utter a murmuring word in view of this
afflictive dispensation.
Young persons are generally prone to consult
their appetites, and to object to taking medicine, however necessary for their health; or
even to deny themselves the satisfaction arising
from eating palatable and nourishing food, how
much soever the partaking of it would injure
them. Young people of his age are very apt to
show an unwillingness to undergo any surgical
operation which, though for their good, is painful. But not so with John. Though generally
blessed with appetite, he was for several years
put on a system of dieting, at one time extremely rigid: prohibited from eating not only
pies and cakes and sweetmeats, but all rich
LockWQood         15




226        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
food. Meat and butter were, at that time, contraband articles. And voluntarily abstaining
from tea and coffee, often, while others have
been partaking of the bounties of Providence,
has he made his meal of bread, or crackers, and
water. And for this, it is believed, his heart
devoutly and ardently sent up its tribute of
thanks to the great Giver. The only expression bordering on dissatisfaction with his lot, or
despondency in view of it, which can be recollected, is a remark made several times in Cortland, immediately on recovering his consciousness after attacks for which he could assign no
cause: "Well, I must give up. I don't know
how to guard against them." There is abundant reason to think that this severe affliction
from his heavenly Father was sanctified to him.
It made him gentle, calm, collected, as well as
subdued and chastened in his temper.
9. In his active efforts to do good. One
way in which he successfully labored in this
field, was by benefiting his young brethren;
encouraging them in every good work; kindly
exhorting those who needed exhortation, and




SUMMARY.              227
faithfully warning those who were in danger
of being led astray. By always demeaning
himself in the social circle as a Christian, his
example was like a bright and shining light to
his brethren, who, like him, professed to have
put on Christ. He seemed, in some good degree, to feel that the character of his Christian
brother was, in an important sense, a part of
his own; and over it he therefore practised
something of the same watchfulness that he
did over his own.
Another way in which he labored to do good,
was by gaining access to the hearts and consciences of the impenitent, and endeavoring to
influence them to renounce their sins, and to
choose Christ. He labored for souls like one
who was to give account. And while he thus
assiduously labored, he fervently prayed to God
in behalf of those same souls; thoroughly conscious of his own impotency and that of others,
and firmly convinced of the ability and the
willingness of God to interpose for them and
save them.
Another way in which John endeavored to
do good, was by contributing what he could,




228        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
by prayer and influence and money, to sustain
the prominent benevolent enterprises in which
Christians of the present day are engaged. His
annual contribution to the American Board of
Foreign Missions for some years was five dollars. This was his annual offering, over and
above his contributions at the monthly concert.
On these occasions he always contributed something-I presume a stated sum, judging from
his habits of order. And of these concerts he
was sure of attending twelve every year. His
regular yearly contributions to the American
Tract Society, American Bible Society, American Home Missionary Society, were one dollar
a year. To the other benevolent enterprises of
the day, such as the Bethel cause, the Sabbathschool cause, and the education cause, he also
contributed, whenever those objects were presented.
It ought to be noted, that for several years
before his death his contributions for benevolent
purposes were from his own funds entirely.
And those funds were mostly the fruit of his
own earnings. He had deposited sums with
me which at his death amounted to $17 75,




SUNrMAARY.            229
and which were distributed among eight of our
benevolent societies, as it was believed would
have been in accordance with his wishes.
10. As a missionary. What though he never
entered on heathen territory, and was not permitted to enjoy the high privilege which he
aspired after, of blowing the gospel trumpet in
the hearing of benighted pagans: to this cause
he had been consecrated by his parents; to this
high calling he dedicated himself with his first
Christian breath; and he never seemed disposed
to retract his dedication. His chosen field was
China. There he would rather have labored
than in any other part of the globe. But he
held himself in readiness to go anywhere.
After epilepsy had come on him, and driven
him from his favorite pursuit of knowledge
through the medium of books, he seemed willing to increase his stock of information in
domestic and other matters. While engaged
in duties about the house, or in the cabinetshop, or in the chair-factory, or in the harvestfield, or at his bench at home, he used to remark pleasantly, that all these things might be




230        JOHN D. LOCKWOOD.
fitting him for certain situations in which, by
the providence of God, he might in after-life
be thrown. About that time he became interested in reading " The Family Robinson," and
would often speak to his mother of the expedients to which he could now resort, in case
he should be cast or left on a desolate island.
There is reason to believe that he never at any
time quite gave up the idea that the great
Head of the church would make the way clear
for him to labor in his service as a missionary
to the heathen. When his mother on one occasion was dissuading him from laboring in the
cabinet-shop, his reply to her was, I"Mother,
suppose I should be situated as Mr. Williams
was, on the South-Sea Islands, then all this
knowledge would be of use to me."  He had
the heart of a missionary. He was unquestionably regarded as such by God. Why then
may not his name be associated with the missionary work in the minds of all who may read
this memoir, as it certainly will be in the minds
of his bereaved, though not afflicted parents?
And now, beloved son. farewell. In thy lifetime thou wert a great comfort to thy parents;




SUMMIIARY.             231
but not so great as thou hast been since thy
sudden departure. Never before could I realize
the amount, the sweetness of the consolation
to be derived by survivors from the consistent
Christian life of their deceasedfriends. Whenever I think that I have such a son in heaven,
I seem to myself to be highly honored. I feel
myself unworthy the honor of being so nearly
related to one who, judging from the tenor of
his life, enjoys so much of his Saviour's love.
I would not part with the consolation which
that life affords for all the treasures of earth.
O, that his mantle might fall on all our
youth!




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