__ CA Y ~ j~wffi ifi 0 0 0~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I U; i I i t I I i t I PI cc 4 oi 10 F, P4 2 F .1 s I I I i i II Entered( according to Act of Congress, in the year 1873, BY JAMIES R. OSGOOD & CO., iii the Office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington. UNIVERSITY PRESS: WELCh, BIGEI.OW, & Co., CAMBRIDCGE. LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS. FROM DRAWINGS BY AUGUSTUS [IOPPIsN. The full-page Illustrations have been produced by the Patent Heliotype Process; the Vignettes are engraved on wood. STANZA I. " O TERRIBLY PROUD WAS M[ISS MACBRIDE" (fja/ .page)........ Frontispiece 1X. "MERELY A FANCY CREATION... Page 14 XI. "SHE SANG UNTIL SHE WAS HOARSE... 15 XII. "HERL BIRTH, INDEED, WAS UNCOMMONLY HIGH 16 XIV. "NO MIODERtN HARVEY WILL EVER SUCCEED. 18 XV. "YOUR FAMILY THREAD YOU CAN'T ASCEND. 19 XVI. "RICH WAS THE OLD PATERNAL MACBRIiDE. 20 XVII. "HONEST JOHN" (ftil page)... 21 XVI II. "I E ROSE FROM HIS ASHES".... 22 XX. "A THRIVING TAILOR BEGGED HERI HAND" (fuIllpae) 23 XXI. "ANOTHER, WHOSE SIGN WAS A GOLDEN BOOT (fll -ap,e).......... 24 XXIII. "A RICH TOBACCONIST COMES AND SUES" (fullpage) 25 XXIII. "UP TO SNUFF"...... 2 LIST OF ILLUSTPATIOiNS. XXIV. "A YOUNG ATTORNEY OF WINNING GRACE' (fll 1oaye)........ 26 XXVI. "A COURTLY FELLOW WAS DAPPER JIM" (full pare).......... 27 XXVIII. "QUITE GRACIOUSLY RELENTED" (ful laye). 29 XXVIII. "To BE A BRIDE WITHOUT THE MAC". 29 XXXII. "SIE TRIED HER JADED SPIRITS TO RALLY... 32 XXXVII. "HER ELEGANT, ARlDENT, PLIGHTED LOVER A AS THE VERY FIRST TO FORSAKE HER" 36 XXXVIII. "AND NOW THE UNHAPPY MIISS MACBRIDE BEWAILS HER LONELY fOSITION.. 37 I I THE PROUD MISS MACBRIDE. I4 -r i .i 'i, , i 411 4 4 " HON,EST JOH1\'." THE PROUD MIISS MACBRIDE. A LEGEND OF GOTHAM. I. TERRIBLY proud was Miss MacBride, : The very personificatioii of Pride, As she iniced along in Fasliion's tide, Adown Broadway,- Ion the proper side, Whlen the golden sun was setting; -4 I 'HE PROUD MIISS MIA CBRIDE. There was pride in the head she carried so high, Pride in her lip, and pride in her. eye, And a world of pride in the very sigh 'That her stately bosom was fretting; II. A sigh that a pair of elegant feet, Sandalled in satin, should kiss the street, The very same that the vulgar greet In common leather not over " neat," For such is the common booting; (And Christian tears may well be sled, That even among our gentlemen bred, The glorious day of Morocco is dead, m i t, I I i 8 I ~ I I 51 I t. i, I ol And Day and Martin are raining instead, On a much inferior footing!) III. O, terribly proud was Miss MacBride, Proud of hler beauty, and proud of her pride, And proud of fifty matters beside That would n't hlave borne dissection; Proud of hler wit, and proud of her walk, Proud of hler teeth, and proud of hler talk, Proud of "knlowing cheese from chalk," On a very slight inspection! TIIE PP-,OUD MISS.31.4CBPrDE. 9 THE PJEOUD MISS MACllBPIDlE. IV Proud abroad, and proud at home, Proud whlerever she chanced to come, When she was glad, and when she was glum; Proud as the head of a Saracen Over the door of a tippling shop! Proud as a duchess, proud as a fop, "Proud as a boy with a branl-new top," Proud beyond comparison! V. It seems a singular thing to say, But her very senses led her astray 4 .-. - o il. lb " A THRIVING TAILOR BEGGED IIER IAND." THE PROUD MISS MACBRIDE. Respecting all humility; In sooth, her dull auricular drum Could find in Humble only a "hum," And heard no sound of "gentle" come, In talking about gentility. VI. What Lowly meant she did n't know, For she always avoided "everything low," With care the most punctilious, And queerer still, the audible sound Of " super-silly" she never had found In the adjective supercilious! f, i ,I 11 ' I THE PRlO UD MISS il~ CBRIDE. VII. The meaning of Meek she never knew, But imagined the phrase had something to do With "Moses," -a peddling German Jew, Who, like all hawkers the country through, Was a person of no position; And it seemed to her exceedingly plain, If the word was really known to pertain To a vulgar German, it was n't germane To a lady of high condition! VIII. Even her graces,- not her grace, For that was in the "vocative case," - 12 TIIE PROUD MiISS )4XCBRIDE. Chlilled with the touch of her icy face, Sat very stiffly upon her; She never confessed a favor aloud, Like one of the simple, common crowd, But coldly smiled, and faintly bowed, As who should say: "You do me proud, And do yourself an honor!" IX. And yet the pride of Miss MacBride, Although it had fifty hobbies to ride, Hlad really no foundation; But, like the fabrics that gossips devise, Those single stories that often arise 13 r THE PROUD MISS MACBRIDE. And grow till they reach a four-story size, Was merely a fancy creation! X. 'T is a curious fact as ever was known In human nature, but often shown Alike in castle and cottage, l. 14 I~~~~~~~~ - ~,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~1 L. ;. "ANOTIIER, WIIOSE SIGN WAS A GOLDEN BOOT." 1 i i —_- _-- ,, 1HE PROUD MISS AI CBRIDE. That pride, like pigs of a certain breed, Will manage to live and thrive on "feed" As poor as a pauper's pottage! XI. That her wit should never have made her vain, Was, like her face, sufficiently plain; And as to her musical powers, Althlough shle sanlg until she was hoarse, I I I~~~~~ I'!~~j~ I ~ w Mp -.4=-~~~>~ X = *S_M?W;'.'S~t';wMP'RKYF~ -I ii. ~ ~ ~ ~ /~~ I I;.D'Stl-~o,:5,il" ".Vlt'li - - 15 .! . i i9u~t~ow a4 i .f I It t i I; h I. I 7I i ! TILE PliO UD MIISS AAt CBI'IDE. Anld issued notes with a Banker's force, They were just such notes as we never indorse For aiiy acquaintance of ours! I .t I XII. Her birth, indeed, was uncommonly high, For Miss MAIacBride first opened her eye Thlroughl a skylight dim, on the lighlt of the sky; ~~~~~~ '~ i' :t 16 :el THE PiROUD MISS MHACBPIDE. But pride is a curious passion, And in talking about her wealth and worth She always forgot to mention her birth, To people of rank and fashion! XIII. Of all the notable things on earth, The queerest one is pride of birtlh, Among our "fierce Democracie"! A bridge across a hundred years, Without a prop to save it from sneers, Not even a couple of rotten Peers, A thing for laughter, fleers, and jeers, Is American aristocracy! 17 ~ I I I I I'[E PliO UD JIISS Jf ACBiIIDE. XIV. English and Irishl, Frenchl and Spanislh, German, Italian, Dutcl, and Danislh, Crossing their veins until they vanish Ili one conglomeratioii! So subtle a tangle of Blood, indeed, No modern Harvey will ever succeed In finding the circulation! II ,> oI2,r, o\* 18 14 '. x "A RICH TOBACCONIST COMES AND) SUES." *k i l I li THE P1O UD MJIISS MA CBID)E. Depend upon it, my snobbish friend, Your family thread you can't ascend, Withlout good reason to apprehend You may find it waxed at the farther end By some plebeian vocation; 4 l_l - 0, ;7 4 is 14 i'. 'i F:' i, .9 Or, worse than that, your boasted Line May end in a loop of stronger twine, That plagued some worthy relation! i.: -:'.... ".'. II -1 I i I I I 19 xv. I -A 11 THE P1l0 UD MJISS MX[tCBtIDE. XVI. But Miss MacBride liatli something beside Her lofty birth to nourish her pride, For rich was the old paternal MacBride, According to public rumor; And hle lived "Up Town," in a splendid squale, And kept his daughter on dainty fare, And gave her gems that were rich and rare, And the finest rings and tlings to wear, And feathlers enoughl to plumne her! I F, .1 r il I 20 7' I 3 i It X 1'1E P-ROUD MIISS A[4CBPIDE. XVII. An honest mechanic was John MacBride, As ever an honest calling plied, Or graced an honest ditty; For John had worked in his early day, In " Pots and Pearls," the legends say, And kept a shop with a rich array Of things in the soap and candle way, In the lower part of the city. XVIII. No rara avis was honest John, (That's the Latin for "sable swan,") I - - - "I "I I I 21 4 1i l i 4 ; 1 !; 7-,, , I I .; THE P.ROUD JIISS IACBRIJDE. Though, in one of his fancy flashes, A wicked wag, who meant to deride, Called honest John, "Old Pliwnix MacBride," "Because he rose from his ashles! " XIX. Alack! for many ambitious beaux! She hung their hopes upon her nose, I ! t1 22 / I + {; "A YOUNG ATTORNEY OF WINNING GRACE." I -.! i i t, l I i i I I' I l~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE PROUD MISS MAi CBRIDE. (The figure is quite Hioratian!)* Until from habit the member grew As queer a thing as ever you knew Turn up to observation! xX. A thriving tailor begged her hand, But she gave " the fellow" to understand, By a violent manual action, She perfectly scorned the best of his clan, And reckoned the ninth of any man An exceedingly Vulgar Fraction! * "Omnia suspendens naso." 23 I THE PP0 UD MISS MA CBPIDE. XXI. Another, whose sign was a golden boot, Was mortified with a bootless suit, In a way that was quite appalling; For though a regular sutor by trade, Ile was n't a suitor to suit the maid, Who cut him off with a saw, - and bade "The cobbler keep to his calling." XXII. (The Muse must let a secret out, - There is n't the faintest shadow of doubt, That folks who oftenest sneer and flout i i ii ii I i 24 THE PROUD MISS MA4CBRIDE. At "the dirty, low mechanicals," Are they whose sires, by pounding their knees, Or coiling their legs, or trades like these, Contrived to win their children ease From poverty's galling manacles.) XXIII. A rich tobacconist comes and sues, And, thinking the lady would scarce refuse A man of his wealth and liberal views, Began, at once, with, "If you choose, And could you really love him-" But the lady spoiled his speech in a huff, i i i i I I i i I 1, II 1 i i I i i i I i 25 THE PRO UD IISS ~A1 CBPIDE. With an answer rough and ready enough, To let him know slhe was up to snuff, And altogether above him! XXIV. A young attorney of winning grace, Was scarcely allowed to "opeii his face," Ere Miss MacBride had closed his case With true judicial celerity; For the lawyer was poor, and "seedy" to boot, And to say the lady discarded his suit, Is merely a double verity. m 26 "A COURTLY FELLOW WAS DAPPER JIMI." ~ 2 ~~~ ~ Yt Y>~ ~ ~ iji < j~ LOCOOb 4~ ~ \4~m ~; 4~> \~ <\ ~ ~ -n — o THE PRO UD JIISS ITIA CBJID-E. XXX. Old John MacBride, one fatal day, Became thie unresisting prey Of Fortune's undertakers; And staking his all on a single die, His foundered bark went high and dry Among the brokers and breakers! XXXI. At his trade again.in the very shop Where, years before, he let it drop, HIe follows his ancient calling, Cheerily, too, in poverty's spite, ....... ,,I 0 THE PROUD JIISS JIACBi'IDE. And sleeping quite as sound at night, As when, at Fortune's giddy height, He used to wake with a dizzy fright From a dismal dream of falling. But alas for the haughty Miss MacBride! 'T was such a shock to her precious pride, She could n't recover, although she tried Her jaded spirits to rally; I'D' 2 xxxii. THE PROUD MISS MACBRIDE. 'T was a dreadful change in human affairs From a Place" Up Town " to a nook " Up Stairs," From an Avenue down to an Alley! XXXIII. 'T was little condolence she had, God wot, From her "troops of friends," who had n't forgot The airs she used to borrow; They had civil phrases enough, but yet 'T was plain to see that their "deepest regret" Was a different thing from Sorrow! I ,9j3 THE PPTOUD MIISS JI4 CBlIIDE. XXXIV. They owned it could n't have well been worse, To go from a full to all empty purse; To expect a reversion and get a " reverse," Was truly a dismal feature; But it was n't strange,- they whispered, - at all; That the Summer of pride should have its Fall, Was quite according to Nature! XXXV. And one of those chaps who make a pun, As if it were quite legitimate fun To be blazing away at every one, Withl a regular double-loaded gun, 34 THE PROUD MISS MA4 CBRILRE. Remarked that moral transgressionii Always brings retributive stings To candle-makers, as well as kings: And making light of cereous things, Was a very wick-ed profession! XXXVI. And vulgar people, the saucy churls, Inquired about "the price of Pearls," And mocked at her situation; "She was n't ruined, -they ventured to hope, Because she was poor, she need n't mope, Few people were better off for soap, And that was a consolation! " 35 ifHE PROUD MISS 3IACBRIDE. XXXVII. And to make her cup of woe run over, Her elegant, ardent, plighted lover Was the very first to forsake her; He quite regretted the step,'t was true, The lady had pride enough "for two," But that alone would never do To quiet the butcher and baker! 36 TIIE P'O UD MIISS MXCBRIDE. XXXVIII. And now the unhappy Miss MacBride, The merest ghost of her early pride, Bewails her lonely position; :1 t _" ~ ~ Cramped in the very narrowest nichle, Above the poor, and below the rich, Was ever a worse condition? .T 37 THE PiO UD MISS iAV CBRIDE Ml0RAL. Because you flourish in worldly affairs, Don't be hlaughty, and put onl airs, With insolent pride of station! Don't be proud, and turn up vour nose At poorer people ill plainer clo'es, But learn, for the sake of your soul's repose, That wealth's a bubble, that comes, - and goes! And that all Proud Fleshl, wherever it grows, Is subject to irritation! Cambridge: Electrotyped and Printed by Welch, Bigelow, & Co. 38