TEN YEARS
AMONG
THE MI AIL BAGS:
OR,
Bates from tit Piarq of a  pecia Jgent
OF THE
POST-OFFICE DEPARTMENT.


BY J. HOLBROOK.
WITH  ILLUSTRA T I ONS.
PHILADELPHIA:
II. COWPERTHWAIT & CO.
1855.





Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1855,
BY J. HOLBROOK
In the Clerk's Office of the District Court for the District of Columbia.


(2)





IS RESPECTFULLY DEDICATED TO THOSE OFFICIALLY CONNECTED WITH
THE MAIL SERVICE OF THE UNITED STATES.
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PREFACE.


THE idea of preparing the present work was suggested
to the author by the universal interest manifested in regard to the class of delinquencies to which it relates, and
the eagerness with which the details of the various modes
adopted in successful cases to detect the guilty parties,
have been sought after by all classes.     He was also
induced to undertake this series of narratives by the
hope and belief that while it afforded interesting Wnatter
for the general reader, it might prove a public benefit
by increasing the safety of the United States mails, and
fortifying those officially connected with the post-office
and mail service, against the peculiar temptations incident
to their position, thus preserving to society some at least
who, without such warnings as the following sketches
contain, might make shipwreck of their principles, and
meet with a felon's doom.
It has been said that whoever acts upon the principle
that 1" honesty is the best policy," is himself dishonest.
That is, policy should not be the motive to honesty, which
is true; but taking into view how many there are who
would not be influenced by higher considerations, it is
evident that whatever serves to impress on the mind the
1 *                                    (5)





PREFACE.


inevitable connection between crime and misery, if not
between honesty and happiness, will aid in strengthening
the barriers against dishonesty, too often, alas! insufficient to withstand the pressure of temptation.
The author has endeavored to enforce these truths in
the following pages, and he relies for the desired impression on the fact that they are not dry, abstract precepts
which he presents, but portions of real life; experiences
the like of which may be the lot of any young man;
temptations before which stronger men than he have
fallen, and which he must flee from if he would successfully resist.
The most elaborate treatise on rascality would not
compare in its effects on the mass of mankind, with the
simplest truthful narrative of a crime and its consequences, especially if addressed to those exposed by circumstances to the danger of committing offences similar
to the one described.
Two objections to the publication of a work like the
present, occurred to the author as well as to others whom
he consulted, and caused him to hesitate in commencing
the undertaking. First, the possibility that the detailed
description of ingenious acts of dishonesty, might furnish
information which could be obtained from no other
source, and supply the evil-disposed with expedients for
the prosecution of their nefarious designs.     Second,
the danger of again inflicting pain upon the innocent
relatives and friends of those whose criminal biography
would furnish material for the work.
In reference to the first of these objections it may be
said, that, although descriptions of skilful roguery are
always perused with interest, and often with a sort of
admiration for the talent displayed, yet when it is seen





PREFACE.


VII


that retribution follows as certainly and often as closely
as a shadow; that however dexterously the criminal may
conceal himself in a labyrinth of his own construction,
the ministers of the law track him through all its windings, or demolish the cunningly devised structure; and
that when he fancies himself out of the reach of Justice,
he sees, to his utter dismay, her omnipresent arm uplifted
to strike him down; when these truths are brought to
light by the record, an impressive view will be given of
the resources which are at command for thwarting the
designs of dishonesty, and of the futility of taking the
field against such overwhelming odds. And in addition
to the certainty of detection, the penalty inflicted for
offences of this description is to be taken into the account.
Doubtless many employes in Post-offices have committed
crimes of which they never would have been guilty but
for a mistaken idea of security from the punishment to
which they were making themselves liable. It is well
for all to be correctly informed on this subject, and to
know that offences committed against this Department
are not lightly dealt with. Information of this character
the author has fully supplied.
Again-Comparatively but few of the secret modes
of detection are exhibited, and he who should consider
himself safe in evading what plans are here described,
will find to his sorrow that he has made a most dangerous calculation.
As to the second objection above mentioned, namely,
the danger of wounding the feelings of innocent parties,
the author would observe that fictitious names of persons
and places are generally substituted for the real ones;
thus avoiding any additional publicity to those concerned
in the cases given. And furthermore, he ventures to





PREFACE.


hope that few of the class to which this objection refers,
would refuse to undergo such a trial of their feelings, if
by this means a wholesome warning may be given to
those who need it.
There are other wrongs and delinquencies connected
with our postal system, of a mischievous and immoral
tendency, and of crushing effect upon their authors,
which, although not in all cases punishable by statute,
yet require to be exposed and guarded against. Descriptions of some of the most ingenious of these attempts at
fraud, successful and unsuccessful, are also here held up
to public view.
It was the author's intention to give two or three chapters of an historical and biographical character,-a
condensed history of our post-office system, with some
notice of that of other countries, and brief biographical
sketches of our Post Masters General.. But matter
essential to the completeness of the work in hand, as
illustrating the varieties of crime in connection with
post-offices, has so accumulated, that the chapters referred to could not be introduced without enlarging the
volume to unreasonable dimensions; and the author has
been compelled to limit his biographies of the Post Masters General to a short chronological notice of each of
those officers.


r





THE POST MASTERS GENERAL.


UNDER the Revolutionary organization, the first Post Master
General was BENJAMIN FRANKLIN. He was experienced in its duties,
having been appointed Post Master of Philadelphia in 1737, and
Deputy Post Master General of the British Colonies in 1753. He was
removed from this office, to punish him for his active sympathies with
the colonists; and one of the first acts of their separate organization
was to place him at the head of their Post-Office Department. It is
a singular coincidence that this eminent philosopher, who cradled
our postal system in its infancy, also, by first bringing the electric
fluid within the power of man, led the way for the electric telegraph,
the other great medium for transmitting intelligence.
The necessities of the Revolutionary struggle, demanded the abilities
of Franklin for another sphere of action. Richard Bache, his sonin-law, was appointed to succeed him as Post Master General, in
November, 1776. He was succeeded by Ebenezer Hazard, who subsequently compiled the valuable Historical Collections bearing his
name. He held the office until the inauguration of President Washington's Administration.
In relation to the several Post Masters General, since the adoption
of the Federal Constitution, the author regrets that he is compelled,
contrary to his original intention, to confine himself to brief chronological notes. The succession is as follows:1. SAMUEL OSGOOD.-Born at Andover, Mass., Feb. 14, 1748.
Graduated at Harvard College in 1770. A member of the Massachusetts Legislature, and also of the Board of War, and subsequently an
Aid to Gen. Ward. In 1779, a member of the Massachusetts Constitutional Convention.  In 1781, appointed a member of Congress;
in 1785, first Commissioner of the Treasury; and Sept. 26, 1789,
Post Master General. He was afterwards Naval Officer of the port
of New York, and died in that city Aug. 12, 1813.
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X


THE POST MASTERS GENERAL.


2. TImOTHY PICKERING.--Born at Salem, Mass., July 17, 1746.
Graduated in 1763. Was Colonel of a regiment of militia at the age
of nineteen, and marched for the seat of war at the first news of the
battle of Lexington. In 1775, appointed Judge of two local courts.
In the fall of 1776 marched to New Jersey with his regiment. In
1777 appointed Adjutant-General; and subsequently a member of the
Board of War with Gates and Mifflin. In 1780 he succeeded Greene
as Quarter Master General. In 1790 he was employed in negotiations with the Indians; Aug. 12, 1791, he was appointed Post Master
General; in 1794, Secretary of War; and in 1795, Secretary of State.
From 1803 to 1811 he was Senator, and from 1814 to 1817, Representative in Congress. Died at Salem, June 29, 1829.
3. JOSEPH HABERSHAM. -Born in 1750. A Lieutenant Colonel
during the Revolutionary War; and in 1785 a member of Congress.
Appointed Post Master General Feb. 25, 1795. He was afterwards
President of the U. S. Branch Bank in Savannah, Georgia. Died at
that place Nov. 1815.
4. GIDEON GRANGER.-Born at Suffield, Ct., July 19, 1767. Graduated at Yale College in 1787, and the following year admitted to
the Bar. In 1793 elected to the Connecticut Legislature. Nov. 28,
1801, appointed Post Master General. Retired in 1814, and removed
to Canandaigua, N. Y. April, 1819, elected a member of the Senate
of that State, but resigned in 1821, on account of ill health. During
his service in that body he donated one thousand acres of land to aid
the construction of the Erie Canal. Died at Canandaigua, Dec. 31,
1822.
5. RETURN JONATHAN MEIGs.-Born at Middletown, Ct., in 1765.
Graduated at Yale College in 1785, and subsequently admitted to the
Bar. In 1788 emigrated to Marietta, Ohio, then the North Western
Territory. In 1790, during the Indian wars, he was sent by Gov. St.
Clair on a perilous mission through the wilderness to the British commandant at Detroit. In the winter of 1802-3, he was elected by the
Legislature the first Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of the new
State. In October, 1804, he was appointed Colonel commanding the
United States forces in the upper district of the Territory of Louisiana, and resigned his judgeship. In the following year he was appointed as one of the United States Judges for Louisiana. April 2,
1807, he was transferred to the Territory of Michigan. In October
following he resigned his judgeship, and was elected Governor of the
State of Ohio, but his election was successfully contested on the
ground of non-residence. He was chosen at the same session as one





THE POST MASTERS GENERAL.


xi


of the Judges of the Supreme Court of the State; and at the next
session as United States Senator, for a vacancy of one year and also
for a full term. In 1810 he was again elected Governor of Ohio, and
on the 8th of December resigned his seat in the Senate. In 1812 he
was re-elected Governor. On the 17th of March, 1814, he was
appointed Post Master General, which he resigned in June, 1823.
Died at Marietta, March 29, 1825.
6. JOHN McLEAN.-Born in Morris Co., New Jersey, March 11,
1785. His father subsequently removed to Ohio, of which State the
son continues a resident. He labored on the farm until sixteen years
of age, when he applied himself to study, and two years afterwards
removed to Cincinnati, and supported himself by copying in the County
clerk's office, while he studied law. In 1807 he was admitted to the
Bar. In 1812 he was elected to Congress, and re-elected in 1814. In
1816 he was unanimously elected by the Legislature, a Judge of the
Supreme Court of the State. In 1822 he was appointed by President
Monroe, Commissioner of the General Land Office, and on the 26th
of June, 1823, Post Master General. In 1829 he was appointed as
one of the Justices of the Supreme Court of the United States, which
office he yet holds.
7. WILLIAM T. BARRY.-Born in Fairfax Co., Va., March 18, 1780.
Graduated at the College of William and Mary. He was admitted to
the Bar, and in early life emigrated to Kentucky. In 1828, he was
a candidate for Governor of that State, and defeated by a small
majority, after one of the most memorable contests in its annals.
Appointed Post Master General March 9, 1829. In 1835 appointed
Minister Plenipotentiary to Spain, and died at Liverpool, England, on
his way to Madrid.
8. AMos KENDALL.-Born at Dunstable, Mass., August 16, 1789.
Graduated at Dartmouth College in 1811. About the year 1812
removed to Kentucky, and in 1815 was appointed post master at
Georgetown, in that state. In 1816 he assumed the editorial charge
of the Argus, published at Frankfort, in the same State, which he continued until 1829, being, most of the time, State Printer. In 1829 he
was appointed Fourth Auditor of the United States Treasury; and,
May 1, 1835, Post Master General. He resigned the latter office in
1840, and has, since the introduction of the electric telegraph, been
mainly employed in connection with enterprises for its operation. He
is yet living.
9. JOHN MILTON NILES.-Born at Windsor, Ct., August 20, 1787.
Admitted to the Bar in December, 1812. AbQut 1816 he removed to





THE POST MASTERS GENERAL.


Hartford, and was one of the first proprietors of the Hartford Times,
and had charge of its editorial columns until the year 1820. In 1821
he was appointed Judge of the Hartford County Court, which office
he held until 1829. In 1826 he represented Hartford in the Connecticut Legislature. In April, 1829, he was appointed post master
at Hartford; which he held until December, 1835, when he was
appointed United States Senator to fill a vacancy, and in the ensuing
May was elected by the Legislature for the remainder of the term.
In 1839 and 1840 he was supported by his party, though without
success, for the office of Governor of the State. May 25, 1840, he
was appointed Post Master General. In 1842 he was elected United
State Senator for a full term. Mr. Niles is yet living.
10. FRANCIS GRANGER.-Born at Suffield, Ct., Dec. 1, 1792.
Graduated at Yale College in 1811. Admitted to the Bar in May,
1816. He was elected a member of the New York Legislature in
1825, and again in 1826, 1827, 1829, and 1831. In 1828 he was a
candidate for the office of Lieutenant Governor, but was defeated;
and in 1830 and again in 1832, he was run for Governor, with the
same result. In 1834 he was elected to Congress. In 1836 he was a
candidate for Vice President, and received the electoral votes of the
States of Massachusetts, Vermont, New Jersey, Delaware, Ohio,
Indiana, and Kentucky. He was again elected to Congress in 1838
and in 1840. Appointed Post Master General March 6, 1841, but
resigned the following September. His successor in Congress thereupon resigned, and Mr. Granger was again elected to that body. On
the 4th of March, 1843, he finally retired from public life, but is yet
living.
11. CHARLES A. WICKLIFFE.-Born at Bardstown, Kentucky, June
8, 1788, and was admitted to the Bar at an early age. He was
twice elected to the State Legislature during the war of 1812. He
twice volunteered in the Northwestern Army, and was present at the
Battle of the Thames. In 1820 he was again elected to the Legislature. In 1822 he was elected to Congress, and was four times reelected. During his service in that body, he was appointed by the
House as one of the managers in the impeachment of Judge Peck.
Upon leaving Congress, in 1833, he was again elected to the lower
branch of the State Legislature; and, upon its assembling, was chosen
Speaker. In 1834 he was elected Lieutenant Governor of the State,
and in 1839, by the death of Gov. Clark, he became Acting Governor.
He was appointed Post Master General, September 13, 1841. In
1849 he was chosen as a delegate to the Constitutional Convention





THE POST MASTERS GENERAL.


xiii


of Kentucky; and, under the new Constitution, he was appointed as
one of the Revisers of the Statute Laws of the State. He is yet
living.
12. CAVE JOHNSON.-Born, January 11, 1793, in Robertson Co.,
Tennessee. His opportunities for education were limited, but made
available to the greatest extent. In his youth, he acted as deputyclerk of the County, his father being clerk. He was thence led to
the study of the law. In 1813 he was appointed Deputy Quarter
Master in a brigade of militia commanded by his father, and marched
into the Creek nation under General Jackson. He continued in this
service until the close of the Creek war in 1814. In 1816 he was
admitted to the Bar. In 1817 he was elected by the Legislature one
of the Attorneys General of the State, which office he held until
elected a member of Congress in 1829. He was re-elected in 1831,
1833, and 1835. Defeated in 1837. Again elected in 1839, 1841, and
1843. Appointed Post Master General, March 5, 1845. In 1849 he
served for a few months as one of the Circuit Judges of Tennessee;
and, in 1853, was appointed by the Governor and Senate as President
of the Bank of Tennessee, at Nashville. He is yet living.
13. JACOB COLLAMER.-Born at Troy, N. Y., about 1790, and
removed in childhood to Burlington, Vt., with his father. Graduated
at the State University at that place in 1810. Served during the year
1812, a frontier campaign, as a lieutenant, in the service of the United
States. Admitted to the Bar in 1813. Practised law for twenty years,
serving frequently in the State Legislature. In 1833 he was elected
an Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the State, from which
position he voluntarily retired in 1842. In the course of that period,
he was also a member of a convention held to revise the Constitution
of the State. In 1843 elected to Congress to fill a vacancy, and reelected for a full term, in 1844, and again in 1846. Appointed Post
Master General March 7th, 1849. In 1850 he was again elected a
Justice of the Supreme Court of Vermont; and in 1854 he was chosen
United States Senator, which office he now holds.
14. NATHAN KELSEY HALL.-Born at Skaneateles, N. Y., March
28th, 1810. Removed to Aurora in the same State in 1826, and commenced the study of the law with Millard Fillmore.   Removed
with the latter to Buffalo in 1830. Admitted to the Bar in 1832.
Appointed First Judge of the Court of Common Pleas in 1841. In
1845 elected a member of the State Legislature, and in 1846 a member of Congress. He was appointed Post Master General July 20,
~)





xiv            THE POST MASTERS GENERAL.
1850; and, in 1852, United States Judge for the Northern District of
New York, which office he now holds.
15. SAMUEL DICKINSON HUBBARD.-Born at Middletown, Ct.,
August 10, 1799. Graduated at Yale College in 1819. He was admitted to the Bar in 1822, but subsequently engaged in manufacturing
enterprises. He was Mayor of the city of Middletown, and held other
offices of local trust. In 1845 he was elected a member of Congress,
and re-elected in 1847. He was appointed Post Master General September 14, 1852. Died at Middletown October 8, 1855.
16. JAMES CAMPBELL, the present Post Master General of the United
States, was born September 1, 1813, in the city of Philadelphia, Pa.
Admitted to the Bar in 1834, at the age of twenty-one years. In 1841,
at the age of twenty-eight, he was appointed Judge of the Common
Pleas Court for the City and County of Philadelphia, which position he
occupied for the term of nine years. In 1851, when the Constitution of
the State was changed, making the Judiciary elective, he was nominated by a State Convention of his party as a candidate for the Bench
of the Supreme Court of the State, but was defeated after a warmly
contested and somewhat peculiar contest, receiving however 176,000
votes. In January, 1852, he was appointed Attorney General of
Pennsylvania, which he resigned to assume the duties of Post Master
General. He was appointed to that office on the 8th of March, 1853.





INTRODUCTION.


A MAIL BAG is an epitome of human life. All the elements which
go to form the happiness or misery of individuals-the raw material,
so to speak, of human hopes and fears-here exist in a chaotic state.
These elements are imprisoned, like the winds in the fabled cave of,Eolus, " biding their time" to go forth and fulfil their office, whether
it be to refresh and invigorate the drooping flower, or to bring destruction upon the proud and stately forest-king.
Well is it for the peace of mind of those who have in temporary
charge these discordant forces, that they cannot trace the course of
each missive as it passes from their hands. For although many
hearts are made glad by these silent messengers, yet in every day's
mail there is enough of sadness and misery, lying torpid like serpents,
until warmed into venomous life by a glance of the eye, to cast a
gloom over the spirits of any one who should know it all; and to add
new emphasis to the words of the wise man, "He that increaseth
knowledge, increaseth sorrow." But until they are released from
their temporary captivity, the letters guard in grim silence their
varied contents. Joy and sorrow as yet have no voice; vice and crime
are yet concealed, running, like subterranean streams, from the mind
which originated, to the mind which is to receive their influence. The
mail bag is as great a leveller as the grave, and it is only by the
superscription in either case, that one occupant can be distinguished
from the other.
But leaving these general speculations, let us give more particular
attention to the motley crowd "in durance vile." If each one possessed the power of uttering audibly the ideas which it contains, a
confusion of tongues would ensue, worthy of the last stages of the
tower of Babel, or of a Woman's Rights convention. Indeed matters
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INTRODUCTION.


would pruceed within these leathern walls, very much as they do in
the world at large. The portly, important "money letter," would
look with contempt upon the modest little billet-doux, and the aristocratic, delicately-scented, heraldically-sealed epistle, would recoil from
the touch of its roughly coated, wafer-secured neighbor, filled to the
brim, perhaps, with affections as pure, or friendship as devoted as
ever can be found under coverings more polished. Would that the
good in one missive, might counteract the evil in another, for here is
one filled with the overflowings of a mother's heart, conveying
language of entreaty and remonstrance,--perhaps the traces of
anxious tears,-to the unwary youth who is beginning to turn aside
from the path of rectitude, and to look with wishful eyes upon 'forbidden ground. Need enough is there of this message to strengthen
staggering resolution, to overpower the whispers of evil; for close by
are the suggestions of a vicious companion, lying in wait to lure him
on to vice, and to darken the light of love which hitherto has guided
his steps.
In one all-embracing receptacle, the strife of politics is for a time
unknown. Epistles of Whigs, Democrats, Pro and Anti-Slavery men
lie calmly down together, like the lion and the lamb, (if indeed we
can imagine anything lamb-like in political documents,) ready, however, to start up in their proper characters like Satan at the touch
of Ithuriel's spear, and to frown defiance upon their late companions.
Theological animosity, too, lies spell-bound. Orthodoxy and Heterodoxy, Old and New School, Protestant and Catholic, Free Thinkers
and No Thinkers, are held in paper chains, and cease to lacerate one
another with controverted points. Nor in this view of dormant
pugnacity, should that important constituent, the Law, be left out
of sight. An opinion clearly establishing the case of A. B. unsuspectingly reposes by the side of another utterly subverting it, thus placing,
or about to place, the unfortunate A. B. in the condition of a wall
mined by its assailants, and counter-mined by its defenders, quite
sure (to use a familiar phrase,) of "bursting up" in either case. And
the unconscious official who "distributes" these missiles, might well
exclaim, if he knew the contents, " cry havoc, and let slip the dogs
of war."
But we come to another discord in our miniature life-orchestra.
Those all-embracing, ever-sounding tones, which lie at the two extremities of the "diapason of humanity," namely, Life and Death,
here find their representatives.  Here lies a sable-edged missive,
speaking to the eye as the passing bell speaks to the ear, telling of
blighted happiness, a desolate home, and loving hearts mourning and





INTRODUCTION.


Xvii


refusing to be comforted because the loved one is not; while close at
hand and perchance overlying the sad messenger, is the announcement of another arrival upon the stage of life-Our First-and though
it is as yet behind the curtain, not having made its bow to the world
at large, is an important character in the green room; and the aid
of that convenient individual, Uncle Sam, is invoked to convey the
information of its advent to a circle of expectant friends, as highly
favored as that select few who are sometimes invited to witness a
private performance by some newly-airived artist, before he makes
his appearance in a more public manner.
Nor should we omit at least a passing notice of, the humorous
aspects of our Bag. Physiognomy will not go far in aiding us to
determine as to a given letter, whether its contents are grave or gay.
A well-ordered epistle, like a highly bred man, does not show on its
face the emotions which it may contain. But in what we may call
the lower class of letters, where nature is untrammeled by envelopes,
and eccentricity or unskilfulness display themselves by the various
shapes and styles in which the documents are folded and directed,
there is more room for speculation on their internal character; and it
is the author's intention to furnish some rare specimens of unconscious
humor of this kind, for the delectation of his readers.
As we contemplate the wit, fun, humor, and jollity of all sorts,
which lie dormant within these wrappages, we are tempted to retract
our commiseration for the imaginary official whom we have supposed
to know the contents of the letters in his charge, and therefore drag
out a miserable existence under their depressing influence. At least
we feel impelled to modify our remarks so far as to say that in the
case supposed, his days would be passed in alternate cachinnations
and sympathizing grief. He would become a storehouse of wit, a
magazine of humor. For there is much of wit, humor, and jollity
running through these secret channels, that never is diffused through
the medium of the press, but flows among the privacies of domestic
circles, adding life to their intercourse, and increasing the attractions
of social fellowship, like some sparkling stream, both refreshing and
adorning the landscape through which it takes its course.
We leave the further development of this prolific train of thought,
to the reader's imagination. Yet the imagination can devise no combination more strange than those which may be found every day
within the narrow precincts of which we have been speaking; and the
same may be said of the Post-Office system at large, interwoven as it
is with the whole social life of civilized man.
2*





INTRODUCTION.


The laws of the land are intended not only to preserve the person
and material property of every citizen sacred from intrusion, but to
secure the privacy of his thoughts, so far as he sees fit to withhold
them from others. Silence is as great a privilege as speech, and it is
as important that every one should be able to maintain it whenever
he pleases, as that he should be at liberty to utter his thoughts without restraint.  Now the post-office undertakes to maintain this
principle with regard to written communications as they are conveyed
from one person to another through the mails. However unimportant
the contents of a letter may be, the violation of its secrecy while it is
in charge of the Post-Office Department, or even after having left its
custody, becomes an offence of serious magnitude in the eye of the
law; and as the quantity and importance of mail matter is continually increasing, it has been found necessary to adopt means for
its security, which were not required in the earlier history of the
Post-Office. One kind of danger to which the mails were expdsed
before the days of railroads and steamboats, namely, highway robbery,
is now almost unknown. The principal danger at present to be
apprehended, is from those connected with their transportation and
delivery, and a system of surveillance has been adopted, suited to the
exigency of the case, namely, the creation of Special Agents, who
have become a fixed "institution," likely to be essential to the efficiency of the Department, as long as any of its employ6s are deficient
in principle or honesty. The origin of this Special Agent System
will be given elsewhere. It is sufficient to say here, that the curious
developments of character, and combinations of circumstances, which
will be found in the following pages, were mainly brought to light by
the operation of this system, as carried out by one of its Agents.
"Ten years" of experience have given the author (or at least ought
to have given him) an ample supply of material for the illustration of
nearly every phase in Post-Office life. His principal difficulty is the
"embarras des richesses;" yet he has endeavored to select such cases
as are not only interesting in themselves, but well calculated to benefit
those for whose use the present work is especially designed.





CONTENTS.
CHAPTER I.
No " Ear-Biters" employed-The Commission-A whole School
robbed-Value of a "quarter"-Embargo on Trunks-Unjust
Suspicion-The dying Mother-Fidelity of Post Masters-A
venerable pair of Officials-President Pierce assists-A clue
to the Robberies-The Quaker Coat-An insane Traveler-The
Decoy Letters-Off the Road--The dancing Horse-The Decoy
missing-An official Visit by night-Finding the marked BillsThe Confession-The Arrest...... Page 25
CHAPTER II.
A competent Assistant-Yielding to Temptation-An easy Post
Master-Whispers of Complaint-Assistant embarrassed-Application to his Uncle-The Refusal-Value of a kind Word-Resort to Depredations-Evidences of Guilt-Decoy Letter takenThe Bowling Saloon-The Agent worsted-The RestaurantBother of the Credit System-The fatal Bank-Note-Keen Letter
to the Agent-The Arrest-The next Meeting... 52
CHAPTER III.
Business Rivalry-Country Gossiping-Museum of Antiquities
-New Post Master-Serious Rumors-Anonymous LettersPackage detained-Bar-room Scene-Ramifications of the LawFirst Citizens-Rascally Enemies-Lawyer's Office-Gratuitous
Backing-Telegraphing-U. S. Marshal arrives-The Charge--
The Fatal Quarter-Enemies' Triumph-The Warrant-Singular
Effects of Fear-A Faithful Wife-Sad Memories-The Squire's
Surprise-All right....... 66
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CONTENTS.


CHAPTER IV.
High Crimes in low Places-Honest Baggage-masters-Suspicious Circumstances-Watching the Suspected-Shunning the
Dust-Honesty Triumphant-An Episode-Unexpected Confession-The Night Clerks-Conformity to Circumstances-Pat the
Porter-Absents himself-Physician consulted-The Dead Child
-Hunting Excursions-" No Go"-Pat explains his AbsenceHis Discharge-The Grave-stones-Stolen Money appears-The
Jolly Undertakers-Pat at the Grave-More Hunting-Firing a
Salute-Removing the Deposits-Crossing the Ferry-Scene at
the Post-Office-Trip to Brooklyn-Recovery of Money-Escape
-Encounter with a Policeman-Searching a Steamer-Waking
the wrong Passenger-Accomplices detained-Luxuries cut offFalse Imprisonment Suit-Michael on the Stand-Case dismissed  95
CHAPTER V.
An infected District-A "fast" Route Agent-Heavy Bank
Losses-Amateur Experiments-Dangerous Interference-A Moral Lecture-The Process discovered-An unwelcome StrangerMidnight Watching-Monopoly of a Car-Detected in the ActThe Robber searched-His Committal-A supposed Accomplice
--The Case explained-Honesty again triumphant-Drafts and
Letters-A long Sentence-Public Sympathy-A Christian Wife
-Prison Scenes--Faithful to the last-An interesting Letter  122
CHAPTER VI.
Safety of the Mails-Confidence shaken-About Mail LocksImportance of Seals-City and Country-Meeting the Suspected-Test of Honesty-Value of a String-A dreary RideHarmless Stragglers-A cautious Official-Package missing-An
early Customer-Newspaper Dodge-Plain Talk-A Call to
Breakfast-Innocence and Crime-Suspicion Confirmed-The
big Wafers-Finding the String-The Examination-Escape to
Canada-A true Woman-The Re-arrest-Letter of Consolation
-The Wife in Prison-Boring Out-Surprise of the JailorKilling a Horse......... 136
CHAPTER VII.
Startling Complaints-Character against Suspicion-The two
Clerks-Exchanging Notes-The Faro Bank-Tracing a BillAn official Call-False Explanation-Flight of the Guilty-The
Fatal Drug-The Suicide-Sufferings of the Innocent-The Moral 152





CONTENTS.


xxi


CHAPTER VIII.
A NIGHT IN A POST-OFFICE.
Midnight Mails-Suspected Clerk-A trying Position-Limited
View-A " crack" Agent-Sneezing-" Counter Irritation"-The
Night Bell-Fruitless Speculations-Insect Orchestra-Picolo
introduced-Snoring-Harmless Accident-The Boot-black-A
tenanted Boot-The Exit........ 165
CHAPTER IX.
Throwing off the Cars-Fiendish Recklessness-The BootTracks-A Scamp among the Printers-Obstruction removedA Ruse-The Boots secured-" Big Jobs"-The Trial-Unreliable Witness-A Life-Sentence...... 172
CHAPTER X.
STOPPING A POST-OFFICE.
The Unpaid Draft-The Forged Order-A Reliable WitnessGiving up the Mail Key-A Lady Assistant-Post-Office Records
The official Envelope-Return of the Post Master-The Interview
-Embarrassment of Guilt-Duplicate Circular-Justice secured 181
CHAPTER XI.
Indian Depredations-The model Mail Contractor-Rifles and
Revolvers-Importance of a Scalp-Indian Chief reconnoitering
-Saving dead Bodies-Death of a Warrior-The Charge-A
proud Trophy-Sunset on the Prairie-Animal Life-A solitary
Hun'--The Buffalo Chase-Desperate Encounter with an Indian
-Inrgenious Signal-Returning to Camp-Minute Guns-A welcome Return.......... 192
CHAPTER XII.
Cheating the Clergy-Duping a Witness-Money missingA singular Postscript-The double Seal-Proofs of Fraud-The
same Bank-Note-" Post-Boy" confronted-How the Game was
played-Moving off........ 201
CHAPTER XIII.
Young Offenders-Thirty Years ago--A large Haul-A Ray of
Light........... 206
CHAPTER XIV.
OBSTRUCTING THE MAIL.
A sound Principle-A slow Period-A wholesome Law"Ahead of the Mail"-Moral Suasion-Indignant PassengersDutch Oaths-A Smash-Interesting Trial-A rowdy Constable
-The Obstructors mulcted..... 218





CONTENTS.


CHAPTER XV.
A dangerous Mail Route-Wheat Bran-A faithful Mail Carrier-,Mail Robber shot-A "Dead-head" passenger-An Old
Offender-Fatal Associate-Robbery and Murder-Conviction
and Execution-Capital Punishment-Traveling    in MexicoGuerillas-Paying over-The Robbers routed-A "Fine Young
English Gentleman"-The right stuff..... 222
CHAPTER XVI.
The tender Passion-Barnum's Museum-Little Eva-The
Boys in a Box-The Bracelet-Love in an Omnibus-Losses explained......... 226
CHAPTER XVII.
DETACHED INCIDENTS.
Bank Letter lost-The Thief decoyed-Post-Office at Midnight
-Climbing the Ladder-An exciting Moment-Queer Place of
Deposit-A Post Master in Prison-Afflicted Friends-Sighs and
Saws-The Culprit's Escape-How it was done-A cool LetterA Wife's Offering-Moral Gymnastics-Show of Honesty-Unwelcome Suggestion--"A hard road to travel"-Headed by a
Parson-Lost Time made up-A Male overhauled... 229
CHAPTER XVIII.
FRAUDS CARRIED ON THROUGH THE MAILS.
Sad Perversion of Talent-Increase of Roguery-Professional
Men suffer-Young America at the "Bar"-Papers from Liverpool-The Trick successful-A legal Document-Owning up-A
careless Magistrate-Letters from the Unduped-Victimizing
the Clergy-A lithograph Letter-Metropolitan Sermons-An
up-town Church-A Book of Travels-Natural ReflectionsWholesome Advice-The Seed Mania-Strong InducementsBarnes' Notes-" First rate Notice"-Farmer Johnson-Wethersfield outdone-Joab missing-" Gift Enterprise"--List of Prizes
-The Trap well baited-Evading the Police-The Scrub Race. 242
CHAPTER XIX.
POST-OFFICE SITES.
Embarrassing duty-An exciting Question- A " Hard Case"
-Decease of a Post Master-The Office discontinued-The other
side-Call at the White House-The Reference-Agent's Arrival-Molasses Incident-An honest Child-Slicking up-The
Academy-Stuck fast-The Shoe Factory-A shrewd Citizen




CONTENTS.


The Saw Mill-A Tenantless Building-Viewing the "Sites"Obliging Post Master-The defunct Bank-A Funeral SceneThe Agent discovered-Exciting Meeting-" Restoration Hall"
-Eloquent Appeals-A Fire Brand-Committee on StatisticsGenerous Volunteers-Being "put down"-Good-nature restored
-The Bill " settled"-A Stage Ride-Having the last Word      264
CHAPTER        XX.
HARROWFORK POST-OFFICE.
A gloomy Picture-Beautiful Village-Litigation in Harrowfork-A model Post Master-The Excitement-Petitioning the
Department-Conflicting Statements-The decisive Blow-The
new Post Master-The "Reliable Man"-Indýignant Community
-Refusal to serve-An Editor's Candidate-The Temperance
Question-Newspaper Extracts-A Mongrel Quotation-A Lull
-A " Spy in Washington"-Bad Water-New CongressmenThe Question revived--Delegate to Washington-Obliging Down
Easter-The lost Letters-Visit to the Department-Astounding
Discovery-Amusing Scene-A Congressman in a "Fix"-The
Difficulty " arranged"...... 289
CHAPTER XXI.
UNJUST COMPLAINTS.
Infallibility not claimed--" Scape-Goats"-The Man of Business Habits-Home Scrutiny-A Lady in         Trouble-A bold
Charge-A wronged Husband-Precipitate Retreat-Complaints
of a Lawyer-Careless Swearing-Wrong Address-No Retraction-A careless Broker-The Charge repulsed-The ApologyMistake repeated-The Affair explained-A comprehensive Toast 323
CHAPTER XXII.
PRACTICAL, ANECDOTAL, ETC.
The wrong Address-Odd Names of Post-Offices-The PostOffice a Detector of Crime-Suing the British GovernmentPursuit of a Letter Box-An " Extra" Customer-To my Grandmother-Improper Interference-The Dead Letter-Sharp Correspondence-The Irish Heart-My Wife's Sister... 833
CHAPTER XXIII.
Responsibility of Post Masters...... 348
CHAPTER XXIV.
Official Courtesy, etc........     353





Xxiv                   CONTENTS.
CHAPTER XXV.
Importance of Accuracy....... 358
CHAPTER XXVI.
Post Masters as Directories-Novel Applications-The Butter
Business-A Thievish Family-" Clarinda" in a City-Decoying
with Cheese-Post Master's Response-A Truant HusbandWoman's Instinct......... 360
CHAPTER XXVII.
A Windfall for Gossipers-Suit for Slander-Profit and LossThe Resuscitated Letter-Condemned Mail Bag-An Epistolary
Rip Van Winkle......... 365
CHAPTER XXVIII.
VALENTINES.
Their Origin-Degeneration-Immoral Influence-Incitement
to Dishonesty........ 368
CHAPTER XXIX.
The Clairvoyant Discovery....... 375
CHAPTER      XXX.
Poetical and Humorous Addresses upon Letters... 381
CHAPTER XXXI.
Origin of the Mail Coach Service..... 390
CHAPTER XXXII.
Evasion of the Post-Office Laws...... 392
CHAPTER XXXIII.
Post-Office Paul Prys........ 394
CHAPTER XXXIV.
Special Agents........ 397
CHAPTER XXXV.
Route Agents....... 403
CHAPTER XXXVI.
Decoy Letters......... 409
SUPPLEMENTARY CHAPTER.
Practical Information-Post-Office Laws-Improved Letter
Case........ 413





TEN YEARS
AMlONG
THE            MAIL               BAGS.
CHAPTER I
No "Ear-Biters" employed-The Commission-A whole School
robbed-Value of a "quarter"-Embargo on Trunks-Unjust
Suspicion-The dying Mother-Fidelity of Post Masters-A venerable pair of Officials-President Pierce assists-A clue to the Robberies-The Quaker Coat-An insane Traveller-The Decoy Letters-Off the Road-The dancing Horse-The Decoy missing-An
official Visit by night-Finding the marked Bills-The ConfessionThe Arrest.
IN the fall of 1845, information was received from the Postoffice Department at Washington, of extensive depredations
upon the mails along the route extending from Boston to a
well known and flourishing inland town in one of the New
England States, accompanied with the expression of a strong
desire on the part of the Post Master General, that prompt and
thorough efforts should be made to ferret out, if possible,
those who were concerned in these wholesale peculations.
It so happened that the gentleman at this time at the head
of the Post-office Department, had not been a very ardent
believer in the necessity or usefulness of " Secret Agents," so
called. In fact, when he entered upon the duties of his office,
3                                        (25)





26


POLITICAL PHLEBOTOMY.


he dismissed the entire corps of this class of officials, and notwithstanding the urgent calls of the public, and the dissenting
views of his most experienced Assistants, he steadily refused to
re-employ them, excepting temporarily, and in special cases,
until near, the close of his official term.    Justice to that
honest and thorough-going officer, however, requires some
mention of the causes which controlled his decision in this
important matter.
While he was a Representative in Congress, a violent
onslaught was made upon the system of Special Agents, for
the reason (as was alleged,) that they were neither more nor
less than so many political emissaries, supported at the public
expense; and in consequence of their secret, and therefore
commanding position, possessing, and often exerting an undue
and improper influence against those opposed to them in
politics. Believing this charge to be unjust, he took up, in
the House of Representatives, the defence of this Special
Agent system, and called for proof in support of the accusations of violent partisan conduct brought against these
Agents.
Those who know him will be able to judge of his mortification and displeasure when it was distinctly proved that in one
instance a Special Agent relieved his pugnacious propensities
by getting into a regular fight at the polls, and damaging one
poll, by biting off an ear attached thereto; the poll aforesaid
being the property of a political opponent.
It was also shown that this sanguinary Agent inserted a dirk
knife between the ribs of another antagonist, thus performing
a sort of political phlebotomy, with the intention, doubtless,
of relieving the patient of some portion of his superabundant
Whig or Democratic blood (whichever it might have been )
and thereby bringing him    to a rational view of public questions.
This, and some other equally reputable cases of interference
in elections, having been fully established, it is not wonderful
that strong prejudices should have arisen in the mind of the





THE COMMISSION.


27


future Post Master General against this class of officers, although such disorderly and disgraceful conduct was clearly
the fault of the individuals who indulged in it, and not of the
corps or system, with which they were connected. And I
would here say, in justice to this body of Agents, that many
of them were gentlemen of intelligence and discretion, who
would be far from countenancing such proceedings as have just
been mentioned.
When, therefore, in the year above designated, the writer
found himself in possession of a Special Agent's Commission,
signed by the same gentleman, as " Post Master General," and
rendered impressive by the broad seal of that Department,
which represented a 2.40 steed rushing madly along, with a
post-rider on his back, and the mail portmanteau securely attached,-when he received accompanying instructions to look
into the alarming state of things on the route aforesaid-his
leading thought and ambition was to satisfy the distinguished
Tennessean that a Special Agent could catch a mail robber by
the ear quite as readily as a political antagonist, and apply
the knife of justice to those whose case required it, with at
least as much courage and skill as could be displayed in the
matter of disabling belligerent " shoulder hitters" at the bal.
lot boxes.
How much the result of this first investigation, after the
restoration of the " ear-biters" (as they were then sometimes
facetiously called,) had to do with the radical change in opinion and action, noticeable in certain quarters, as to the utility
and indispensable necessity of this "right arm" of the Department, it may not be advisable, nor indeed modest, to inquire.
The depredations in the case thus placed in my hands for
investigation, were seemingly very bold, although from the
length of the route, and the number of post-offices thereon, the
rogue had no doubt flattered himself that it would take a long
time to trace him out, even if Government should conde..
scend to notice the complaints which he might suppose would
be made at head-quarters. It is also possible that he was





A WHOLE SCHOOL ROBBED.


encouraged to this course of rascality by the belief that the
Department had no officials whose particular business it was
to be "1a terror to evil-doers," and that he could easily elude
the efforts of those no more experienced than himself in the
crooks and turns through which every villain is compelled to
slink.
The letters stolen were principally addressed to the members of a large and flourishing literary institution, situated in
the town already mentioned, and embracing in its catalogue
pupils of both sexes from almost every section of the Union.
So keen was the scent of the robber, that, like an animated
" divining rod," he could indicate unerringly the existence of
gold, or its equivalent beneath the paper surface soil, and he
" prospected" with more certainty, though less honesty, than
a California miner. From all the mail-matter passing through
his office, he would invariably select the valuable packages,
abstracting their material contents, and, as it afterwards
appeared, committing the letters to the flames.   "Dead men
tell no tales." Neither do burnt letters.
The results of this system of robbery, as regarded those who
suffered by it, were somewhat peculiar. The abstraction of
an equal amount from the members of a business community,
might have inconvenienced some, but would have made little
perceptible difference in the course of business. The temporary deficiency would have been as little felt, on the whole, as
the withdrawing of a pail-full of water from a running stream.
The level is quickly restored, as supplies flow in.
But when the victims of dishonesty are youth pursuing
their studies at a distance from home, and depending on
remittances from their parents and friends for the means of
discharging the debts which they may incur, the case is
widely different. Here the stream is dammed up somewhere
between its source and the place where the waters ought to be
flowing, and the worst description of drought-a drought of
money-ensues.
All sorts of consequences, in the present instance, followed





VALUE OF A "QUARTER."


this state of things. The school became, in this particular,
like a besieged city, cut off from supplies from without, while
its inhabitants lived on under an ever increasing pressure of
difficulties, which made premature Micawbers of the unfortunate aspirants to that temple which is so artistically represented in the frontispiece to Webster's spelling book, as surmounting the hill of Science, and animated by the figure of
Fame on the roof, proclaiming through her trumpet a perpetual invitation to enter the majestic portals beneath.
The possessor of money, received, under these circumstances,
a greater degree of consideration than is usually accorded to
the millionaire in the world at large. The owner of a " quarter" had troops of friends, and became purse-proud on the
strength of that magnificent coin. Happy was he who had
unlimited "tick;" to whose call livery-stable keepers were
obsequious, and with whom tailors were ready to invest, having
faith to believe that the present dry aspect of the financial
sky would be succeeded by refreshing showers of " mint-drops"
from the paternal pockets. Some of the young ladies who
had invoked the milliner's assistance in defiance of the poet's
line-" Beauty unadorned, &c.," occasionally received hints
respecting the settlement of their trifling accounts, which
materially diminished the pleasure that they would otherwise
have felt in the contemplation of their outer adornments.
Bonnets reminded them of bills, and dresses of duns.
The more juvenile portion of our scholastic community, too,
felt the pressure of the " hard times" which some invisible
hand had brought upon them. In early life, the saccharine
bump is largely developed, but unlike other organs described
by phrenologists, this is within the mouth, and is commonly
called the " sweet tooth." Those luxurious youth who had
hitherto indulged the cravings of this organ, ad libitum, or as
far as they could do so without the knowledge of their teachers, found the wary confectioners unwilling longer to satisfy
their unsophisticated appetites, without more "indemnity for
3*





30


COLLATERAL SECURITY.


the past" if not "security for the future," than they had yet
furnished.
So these victims of raging desire were compelled to retire
hungry from   untasted luxuries, not without sundry candid
expressions of their feelings toward the obdurate retailers of
sweets, and tart replies from those individuals. Their only
consolation was to revel in dreams in which the temple of
Fame was supported by pillars of candy, with a protuberant
pie for a dome; while her trumpet was converted into a
cornucopia from which unfailing streams of sugar-plums were
issuing.
But such annoyances and inconveniences as have been enumerated were trifling, compared with other consequences
which resulted from this prolonged and systematic robbery of
the mails. It is hard for one who never had his word doubted,
to learn by unmistakeable indications that his story of money
expected and not received, is disbelieved by an impatient
creditor, who perhaps hints that the money has come and gone
in some other direction than that which it should have taken.
The honorable pride of some was wounded in this manner,
and much ill-feeling arose between those who had hitherto regarded each other with mutual respect.
The term of the school was just closing, and worthy Mrs.
K., who had several of the pupils as boarders in her family,
being blessed with a rather large organ of caution, refused to
allow one or two to leave (who did not expect to return the
next term,) without depositing some collateral security for the
payment of their board-bills.    Those luckless youth had
written again and again for the money necessary to settle their
accounts in the place; but their entreaties were apparently
unnoticed and unanswered. They were in the condition of
Mr. Pecksniff's pupils, who were requested by their preceptor
to ring the bell which was in their room, if they wanted anything. They often did so, but nobody ever answered it. It
very naturally seemed almost incredible to Mrs. K. that the
parents of her boarders should neglect to provide for the vari




EMBARGO ON TRUNKS.


ous expenses which arise at the close of a school term, especially as these pupils were not to return. So the good lady
felt bound by her duty to herself to lay an embargo upon their
trunks, and she further took occasion to observe that if thei
hadn't been so much horseback riding, &c., during the summer, her bill could have been settled. This of course provoked an angry retort, and suspicion smouldered on one side,
and resentment flamed out on the other, until the whole mystery was unravelled.
In another boarding-house, inhabited by pupils of both
sexes, it had been customary for some of their number to get
from the post-office the letters and papers sent to them, and
this duty had lately devolved, for the most part, on one person, Henry S., who was a relation of the post master, and, from
other circumstances, had frequent occasion to visit the office.
As he returned almost empty-handed of letters from day to
day, his disappointed fellow-boarders at first wondered at the
silence of their friends, then suspicion began to work in their
minds; and since the post master was a man of unsullied honor,
and entirely reliable for honesty, they at length reluctantly
admitted the supposition that Henry S. must be the delinquent.
Acting on the ground that S. was the guilty one, his fellowboarders gave orders to the post master, forbidding the delivery
of their letters to him. So the next day, when he presented
himself at the office, he was thunderstruck by the information
that he had lost the confidence of his fellow-pupils, and that
they would no longer trust their letters in his hands.
"It can't be," exclaimed he, "that they suppose I took
their letters."
" I guess they do," said the old post master; "but I think
they had better be sure that there were letters coming to them,
before they suspect you."
" Oh, now I see why they have acted so strangely, lately,
just as if they didn't want me around. I never once thought
that this was the reason of it."
From that time, he withdrew himself as much as possible





UNJUST SUSPICION.


from the society of his fellow-pupils, stung by a sense of their
injustice, and cherishing anything but amiable feelings towards
them; yet he did not escape sundry taunts and flings at his
character for honesty, from  the maliciously disposed.  And
although those who had regarded him with suspicion, frankly
acknowledged their error when the true culprit came to light,
yet it was long before he could entirely forgive them the deep
mortification they had caused him.
Nor were such cases as this the worst that occurred.
There was a boy in the school, "the only child of his
mother, and she was a widow." The lad was quick in intellect, amiable in disposition, and a general favorite throughout
the institution. He loved his mother with a strength of affection not often surpassed, and it was fully responded to, by
his tender parent. The frequent visits which she made him
during his residence at the school had given her opportunities
to become acquainted with many of her son's young companions, as well as with his teachers, so that she was quite well
known in the little community.
Let us place ourselves at the residence of Mrs. E. (the lady
in question,) some hundred miles away. She is lying upon a
sick-bed, from which she will never arise. Let us listen to
the conversation between her and her attendant.
"Has the train come up yet, Mary?"
"Yes, ma'am, it passed a few minutes ago, but Charley
hasn't come."
" Of course he hasn't, he would have been in my arms before this, if he had."
" Perhaps," suggests Mary, "he will be here by the next
train."
"God grant he may," groans the dying mother. "It is
now more than a week since they first wrote to him, telling
him that I was very sick, and requesting him to come immediately. Oh, what can keep him away so long?    I fear he is
sick himself. Some one must go to-morrow, and find out





THE DYING MOTHEIT.


IN


what it is that keeps him from me. I cannot die without seeing him once more."
While this mother was struggling with disease, and with
that "' hope deferred" that " maketh the heart sick," her son
was pursuing his daily round of studies and amusements, anticipating with delight his return home at the close of the term.
We may imagine the grief and distress of the poor boy when
his uncle, who came for him, told him how the friends at
home had written to him twice, each time enclosing him the
requisite funds to bear his expenses home, that there might
be no delay from that cause. And how his mother's only wish,
as she now lay rapidly sinking, was to see once more her beloved Charley.
Off they went, the boy and his uncle, on iron wings,-but
the wing of the Death-Angel was swifter, and before they
arrived at the place of their destination, had cast its awful
shadow over the mother's brow.
It will easily be believed that the failure of so many letters
to reach those for whom they were intended, excited no small
degree of uneasiness in the minds of the parents and friends
of the pupils; and in some instances, such was their alarm
and anxiety, that journeys of hundreds of miles were undertaken in order to learn why their letters were not received,
and why they heard nothing from those to whom they wrote;
for the unknown author of all this trouble and confusion, in
order to prevent discovery, often destroyed the letters passing
both ways.
I cannot here refrain from saying a few words respecting
the heinousness of such villanous conduct on the part of post
masters or their employes. Leaving out of sight the fact
that they are sworn to do nothing contrary to the laws, in their
official capacity, and that if they incur the guilt of a breach
of trust, they also become guilty of perjury, it should be considered that the well-being of community in all its relations,
domestic, social, commercial, and literary, depends on the fidelity with which they discharge the duties of their office.





FIDELITY OF POSTMASTERS.


Much confidence is reposed in them by the public, and I am
happy to say, that in comparatively few instances is this confidence misplaced. But in consequence of the circumstances
just mentioned, an amount of evil, terrible to contemplate,
may be the result of an abuse of trust, which may seem trifling
to the guilty perpetrator. The law considers no abuse of the
trust reposed in those connected with the post-office as slight;
but with a jealous regard for the good of community, provides penalties commensurate with the greatness of their
crimes, for those whom neither common honesty, nor honorable feelings, nor moral principle can withhold from the commission of such deeds.
But we will resume the thread of our story.
It may seem strange that the disorders which I have partly
described, should have continued so long before the Department was informed of the state of things; but in regard to
this, I would say that frequently such failures of correspondence go on for some time, and work much mischief before
the post master is apprised of the troubles existing in his
vicinity, as he of course is not expected to know what letters
are sent to his office, in the absence of complaints made
directly to him. It should be stated here, for the benefit of
those not informed in these matters, that it is made part bf
the duty of a post master to report promptly to the Post-office
Department all complaints of the loss of any valuable letters
said to have been deposited in his office.  In the case I am
narrating, the failures in the delivery of letters became at
length so general, that complaint was made to the post master
of the town, and information communicated directly to the
Department at Washington.
Having received a commission from the Post Master General
as before stated, with orders to investigate this case, I proceeded at once to the place in question, having first been
assured of the entire reliability of the post master in charge
there; and if looks could ever be taken as the index of the
man, I needed no other assurance of his honesty. I found an





A VENERABLE PAIR OF OFFICIALS.


35


old gentleman who had numbered his three-score years and ten,
a veteran in the service, having held the post which he then
filled, "from  time immemorial."      He looked the worthy
representative of that class of men, whose moral principles
are applied to the discharge of public duties, as strictly as to
those of a private character,-men like that high-minded worthy, who, when his son attempted to help himself to a sheet
of paper from a desk containing public property, rebuked him
thus: " Take some paper from my desk, if you want it. That
paper belongs to the United States."
It is generally necessary in investigating cases of depredations, to inquire into the honesty of the clerks in the offices to
which we direct our attention; but in the present instance, such
a precaution was uncalled for, since the only assistant of the old
post master was his wife, a venerable, motherly matron, of about
his age, who had aided him in his official duties, and had been
his help-meet in the household for many, many years.
The correspondence of a generation had passed through
their hands, and they were enabled to note the changes in the
number and appearance of the letters which were placed in
their charge during the long period of their incumbency,changes produced by the increase of population, the freer intercourse between distant places, and the facilities for epistolary
communication, which had been progressing ever since they had
assumed the responsibilities of their office. At first few letters
were transmitted but those of a sturdy, business-like appearance, written on coarse paper, and sealed with wafers of about
the dimensions of a modern lady's watch,-wafers that evidently had in charge matter of weighty import, and were
mighty embodiments of the adhesive principle. Then, as
Time and Improvement advanced, and the cacoethes scribendi
became more generally developed, documents appeared of a
milder grade, and of a more imaginative aspect, not only
representing the cares of business life, but indicating, by the
fineness of their texture, the laboriously neat and often feminine character of their superscriptions, and the delicacy of their





PRESIDENT PIERCE ASSISTS.


expressive waxen seals, that Love and Friendship, and the
interests of domestic circles, were also beginning thus to find
iatterance.
Our worthy pair, having been connected with the postal
department during such a large portion of its existence, had
naturally come to feel much interest in whatever concerned
it, and of course were especially anxious that no blot should
come upon the reputation of the office in their charge, and
that the delinquent in the present case should be brought to
light and to justice.
The old man was slow to believe that a fraud had been committed by those connected with any office in his neighborhood, as he thought he could vouch for the character of every
one of his brother post masters with whom he was acquainted,
and the information which he gave me respecting them seemed
to exonerate them, so far as his opinion could do it.
My first proceeding at that point, was to examine the books
of the office, by which it appeared that Boston packages were
received only once or twice a week, while they had been sent
daily, according to the records of the Boston post-office.
After passing over the entire route several times incog., and
taking as minute a view of the several offices as it was in my
power to do without incurring the danger of being recognised,
I concluded that my duty required me to seek an interview
with the United States District Attorney, whose functions
were then discharged by no less a personage than Hon. Franklin Pierce, now President of the United States. On laying
the whole matter before him, he expressed much regret at the
seeming implication of the "Granite State" in such acts of
dishonesty and systematic fraud; at the same time confidently
expressing the belief that the incumbents of two or three
post-offices, to which I felt satisfied the difficulty was confined,
could not be the guilty parties, as they were personally known
to him.
Although I greatly respected his judgment, yet I ventured
to suggest the possibility that his desire to think well of his
acquaintances might have led him to view the characters of





THE QUAKER COAT.


37


some of them    in a too favorable light. So, in order to
establish more firmly their trust-worthiness in my estimation,
he kindly went over to the State-house, where the Legislature
was in session, and confidentially consulted the representatives
from each of the towns in question.
One of the members thus consulted, and who readily
endorsed the favorable opinion of the Attorney, happened to
be a brother of the post master who had done all the mischief,
as it was afterwards ascertained. I have reason to believe,
however, that this gentleman was not aware of his brother's
delinquencies, and that he was incapable of doing anything to
countenance or forward such dishonorable practices.
One of the lost letters contained several twenty dollar notes
on one of the Boston banks. On the occasion of a public
Exhibition, held at the close of the term, in the Academy
before referred to, a large number of visitors from abroad were
collected together, and as money at such a time would be circulating in the town more freely than usual, it seemed not
unlikely that one or more of those bank notes might find their
way into the current of business, and furnish, by their identification, some clue to the perpetrator of the robberies. With
this hope, I inquired privately of several merchants in the
place, whether they had recently taken any such bills, and
learned from one of them that, about two weeks before, at the
time of the Exhibition, several of those or similar bills had
been offered for exchange by a stranger, which fact would
perhaps have attracted no particular attention, were it not for
the absence of any apparent object in this exchange. The
imperfect description of the stranger which I obtained, agreed
tolerably well, as far as it went, with that of Mr. F., post
master in the town of C., where was one of the offices through
which the many missing packages should have passed.
The most decided mark of identity which was furnished me,
was a brown overcoat, cut something after the Quaker style,
which my informant remembered to have been worn by the
stranger for whose accommodation he had exchanged notes
4





THE QUAKER COAT.


similar to those described. Deeming it unsafe to inquire of
any neighbor of the suspected post master whether he possessed such a coat, I adopted the expedient of attending, on
the following Sabbath, the church of whose congregation he
was a member, for the purpose, of course, of listening t6 a
good sermon, not forgetting, however, under the scriptural
license furnished in Luke xiv. 5, to look about now and then
for the Quaker coat and its owner,-a wolf in sheep's clothing.
I observed the frequent characteristics of a country congregation,-a noisy choir, a gorgeous display of ribbons and- other
"running rigging" by the fairer portion of the audience, and
a peculiarly ill-fitting assortment of coats, but never a Quakerish garment. By the time the preacher had drawn his last
inference, I had drawn mine, namely, that it is easier to identify a man by his face than by his coat, inasmuch as he cannot
lay aside the one, while he may the other. The day, indeed,
was remarkably mild, and few overcoats made their appearance.
Mr. F. was present, however, at both services, as I afterwards
learned, and occupied a seat in the choir,--a base singer, probably.
I have now to mention one of those singular coincidences
which are so frequently brought about, as if with the design
of aiding in the exposure of crime, and of pointing out its
perpetrators with unerring accuracy. The numerous instances
which are every day occurring, illustrative of this principle, leave us no room to doubt its truth.  "Murder will out,"
and so will all other crimes. Let the guilty one envelope
himself in a seemingly impenetrable cloud of secrecy; let him
construct, ever so cunningly, the line of his defences, sparing
no pains to fortify every exposed point, and to guard against
every surprise; yet some ray of light, darting, like the electric
flash, he knows not whence, will pierce the darkness which
surrounded him; some hidden spark will kindle an explosion,
which will bury him and his works in ruin. " Trifles light as
air" harden into "confirmation strong as words of Holy Writ."
Assuming that the aforesaid coat, if it had any connection with





THE INSANE TRAVELER.


the author of the robberies, was probably manufactured at the
only tailoring establishment in the place, I happened in there
on Monday morning, and inquired of the presiding genius his
price for a respectable overcoat, intending in some roundabout
way to find out whether he had made one like that which I
was in pursuit of.
"That depends," replied he, " on the material and style of
making."
While continuing a desultory conversation with him on the
subject of coats, their various shapes and styles, &c., my eye
fell upon a small slip of paper pinned to the sleeve of a garment hanging near the door, and on approaching it, I found
the name W. F. written upon the paper.
"That coat belongs to Mr. F., our post master," remarked
the knight of the goose. "It was a trifle too small, and I
have been altering it."
Its color, unusual length, and peculiar make, were circumstances almost conclusive to my mind of the identity of its
owner with the individual who had been exchanging the
twenty dollar notes.
I bid the tailor good morning, feeling pretty well satisfied
that I had laid the foundation of a more important suit than
any which his art could furnish.
The distance from this place to the town where the academy
was situated, was about twenty miles, and the next thing to
be done was to ascertain whether F. had been there within a
week or two. A little reflection suggested a tolerably safe and
direct mode of ascertaining this fact, which was, to see the
merchant before referred to, as being cognisant of the passing
of the twenty dollar notes, who had already been partially
informed of the object of my former inquiries concerning
them; and to request him to address a line to Mr. F., inquiring whether he recollected seeing a person, apparently insane,
in the stage-coach, while on his way home after the Exhibition.
This certainly could do no harm in case he was not present on
that occasion, while if he had been, he would very naturally





40


THE DECOY LETTERS.


confirm the fact in answering the question proposed. The
next mail brought a reply to the effect that he did not return
home by the stage, but in his own private conveyance, and
therefore saw no such person as the one inquired about.
I had thus made a beginning in laying a foundation for the
superstructure of evidence which I was endeavoring to raise;
a foundation, of which a tight coat was the corner-stone. If
Mr. F.'s outer garment had not required alteration, I should,
up to this time, have failed in establishing a most important
fact, viz., his probable identity with the individual'who
passed the bank notes; and as long as this point was involved
in much uncertainty, I should hardly have felt prepared to
push my researches with much energy or hope.
The following facts were now in my possession: Mr. F. was
in the same town where the Exhibition was held, and upon
that occasion; his general appearance corresponded to that of
the person who had then and there exchanged the notes; and
his position as post master gave him sufficient opportunities to
have committed the robberies. All this seemed to authorize
and require more definite and concentrated measures on my
part.
In the mail from Boston, which was to pass on that route
on the following day, sundry tempting-looking packages might
have been found, which were not altogether valueless in a
pecuniary point of view, and would assuredly have been missed
had they been stopped anywhere short of their place of destination. In other words, these packages were what are called
decoy letters,-a species of device for entrapping the dishonest,
which will always be effectual, and whose detective power the
shrewdest rogue is unable to withstand. The utmost sagacity
will never enable one to distinguish between a decoy-letter and
a genuine one, so that the only way of securing safety from
these missives is to let all letters alone. The coat of arms of
Scotland--a thistle, with the motto "Noli me tangere,"would be an appropriate device for these paper bomb-shells.
This set of packages, however, passed the suspected point





OFF THE ROAD.


41


in safety on this occasion, and several times afterwards, for the
very good reason, as it subsequently appeared, that, in the
absence of the post master, an honest person overhauled the
mails.
The snare was laid once more, and with better success.
Upon a certain day, as the mail was leaving Boston, a letter
containing some fifty dollars, in good and lawful money, duly
marked and recorded, that it might afterwards be identified,
was placed in the package of letters for the post-office which
had suffered so many losses before, and to pass through the
office over which he of the tight coat presided. This package
was watched by the Special Agent for the distance of seventy
miles or more, until it had arrived unmolested within ten or
fifteen miles of the suspected office.
About this time I again fell in with General Pierce, who
kindly offered to act in concert with me until the result of that
day's experiment should be decided; he taking the stage
which was to convey the mail, and I intending to follow after
by private conveyance, both to meet again, and to examine
the contents of the bag after it had passed the office at C. The
object of this temporary separation, as my readers will readily
see, was to prevent the possibility of any recognition of my
person, which might have been incurred had I been seen traveling with a gentleman so well known as the Hon. Mr. Pierce.
Much curiosity would inevitably be manifested to know whom
the U. S. District Attorney had with him, and speculations on
the subject might approach too near the truth for the interests
of public justice.
The united efforts of the sixteen legs which impelled the
Sleathern conveniency" containing my friend, the Attorney,
were soon too much for the four that hurried along " Coesar
and his fortunes;" and the first-mentioned vehicle ere long was
" hull-down" in the distance. I had often been over this route
before, yet in some incomprehensible way, either by turning off
too often, or not turning often enough, I got upon the wrong
road, and came near making a bungling job of it. Pressing
4*





A STUPID GUIDE.


on as fast as possible to get a glimpse of the stage once more,
I had driven furiously for several miles, until, becoming convinced that I was not likely to overtake it though I should go
in that direction till doomsday, I halted at a farm-house which
stood near the road, and addressed a man who apparently had
been engaged in cutting wood in the yard, for he stood, axe in
hand, with an unsplit log lying before him. The sound of my
wheels had undoubtedly arrested his attention. Dropping his
axe with alacrity, he lounged up to the fence, and leaned his
elbows upon it, evidently prepared to refresh himself after his
bodily toil, with a little social intercourse.
" Is this the road to G.?" said I.
"What are yer in such a darned hurry for, now," replied my
interlocutor. " I've heerd them air wheels of yourn a rattlin,
rattlin, this half hour by spells, and I don't bleive I've cut the
vally of an armfull of wood all that time. I do'no what She'll
say.")
Here he glanced uneasily over his shoulder towards the
house, as if he feared Her awe-inspiring presence.
1" But, my friend," I remonstrated, "' this don't tell me anything about the road. I am in a hurry, and no mistake; and
I'll be much obliged to you, if you will give me a short answer
to a short question."
" Wal, if that's all you want, mebbe I can 'commodate yer.
'Taint no use keeping on this ere road. Ef you should drive
ever so fast on't, you couldn't never git to G. Cause it don't
go there! Wal, you wanted a short answer, so I'll give it to
yer. That are beast o' yourn hes some good pints. Wal,
ef you want to git to G-.-lemme see,-never bin on this road
afore, hev you?"
" Of course I haven't," replied I, somewhat testily.
"Then you wouldn't know nothin about the old Hloxie
place; no, sartin you wouldn't. Wal, abeout two mild furder
on, you'll come to a brick house with four chimblys, jist where
another road comes in. You turn to the right by the brick
house, and that'll bring you to G-."





OFF THE ROAD.


43


' How much further is it to G. this way than it is by the
direct road?"
' Wal, 'bout four mild."
Upon this, I was about starting, when he called out, "I say,
mister, don't you want to trade bosses?  I-  "
" What yer beout there, Jerry," exclaimed a shrill voice
from the house, which could be no other than that of the
redoubtable " She"-" not a stick of wood in the house, and
you a loafin there on the fence. I tell you-  "
Her further remonstrances were lost to me, but I doubt not
that the luckless Jerry received a suitable reprimand for his
delinquency.
Here I was then, having four miles further to go than the
stage, and my horse beginning to show unequivocal signs of
fatigue. As the stage driver knew nothing of our plan, the
probability was that he would pass the next office long before
I could arrive and examine the mail.bag. In this emergency,
I could think of nothing better than to leave horse and carriage at some place on the road, and obtain a saddle-horse,
with which I might succeed in " coming to time."  And after
turning at the " brick house with four chimblys," I was gladdened by the sight of a tavern some half a mile beyond, to
which I hastened with all practicable speed, and lost no time
in inquiring whether I could obtain a substitute for my overdriven animaL
The landlord was prompt in answering my demand, and
forthwith ordered his hostler to put the saddle upon " Bob."
While Bob was being "got up," I found myself the object of
many inquisitive looks from the assemblage of tavern loungers, to whom my arrival was a rather unusual windfall; for
it was not every day that the intervals between drams were
enlivened by such a comet-like approach. The team wagons
and other vehicles which frequented the road, and whose
motions were as methodical as those of the planets-the tavern
being the sun of their system-produced no emotions in the
minds of these idlers, like the unexpected appearance of an





44


THE DANCING HORSE.


unknown body like myself, coming no one knew whence, and
going no one could tell where.     One of two alternatives
seemed forced on them by the "hot haste" of my movements.
The stranger was either a pursuer or the pursued. If he was
the latter, what had he been doing?     And if the former,
of what had somebody else been guilty? These perplexing
questions were settled in a manner apparently satisfactory to
them, by the inquiry which I made of the landlord, whether
he had seen a man pass that way on horseback, leading another
horse, which I described minutely. The anxious audience at
once jumped at the conclusion, as I had intended they should,
that I was in pursuit of a horse-thief, which impression I took
care to strengthen by sundry incidental remarks. It seemed
necessary by some such device to prevent all suspicion of my
real character and object, in order that if I failed in executing
my design this day, the case might stand as well as before.
By this time " Bob" had been saddled and bridled, and
issued forth from the stable, equipped for action, under the
auspices of the hostler. He (to wit, Bob,) was a stout Canadian pony, rejoicing in a peculiarly shaggy mane, and a tail
which was well calculated to add completeness to my cometlike character. He was strong of limb, and evidently quite
as competent as any quadruped that could ordinarily be found,
to carry me to my destination within the required time.
As soon as I was fairly in the saddle, some one among the
small crowd assembled to witness my departure, gave a slight
whistle and made a sound something like "he up," whereat
the treacherous Bob went through a series of gymnastic performances highly gratifying to the select audience in front of the
tavern, and occasioning a display on my part, of equestrian
accomplishments which I was never before conscious of possessing. The pony elevated himself upon his hind legs so as
to assume an almost perpendicular posture, giving me much
the attitude of Napoleon as he is represented in David's wellknown picture, "only more so."   After standing thus for an
instant, he commenced a rotary movement, still upon two legs,





7


* 'if*1










THE DANCING HORSE.


45


and coming down, reared in the opposite direction a few times,
before he saw fit permanently to resume the horizontal position,
I, during this period of revolution, hanging by his neck (my
main stay,) and losing off my hat in the ardor of my embraces.
While I was thus the sport of circumstances, the spectators
indulged in various jocose observations, which then seemed to
me exceedingly ill-timed and impertinent. One suggested
that I was a Millerite, and was endeavoring to "go up" on
horseback, at the same time expressing a desire to know what
I would charge for an extra passenger; while another inquired
what direction I proposed to take'in my pursuit of the imaginary horse-thief; intimating a willingness to be in his place,
so far as concerned any danger of being overtaken by me.
"Well done!" exclaimed the jolly landlord, as Bob reassumed his quadrupedal character.
" No, no, replied I, " there's too much rare meat in him
for that."
Under cover of this sally, I made a triumphant retreat, the
landlord leading Bob for a little distance, lest he should be
inclined to repeat the entire programme. While thus engaged,
Boniface explained the conduct of the horse, by informing me
that he formerly belonged to a person who had taught him the
trick, which he would always attempt to go through with
when instigated thereto by such a sound as I heard when I
mounted him. With many apologies for the occurrence,
"mine host" let go the bridle, and I proceeded to find out
what Bob could do with his whole force of legs. This performance was more satisfactory to me than his former one, and as
we flew along, his tail and my coat-tails streaming in the air,
I seemed to myself an embodiment of the design upon the
seal of my commission, and was inwardly amused to think how
soon the ideal post-rider and his steed had found their real
representatives in the persons of myself and Bob.
In this style we dashed onward, and as I reined in my
panting charger before the door of the hotel in G., the stage
was just ready to start, the driver being seated on his official





46


THE DECOY MISSING.


throne, whip and reins in hand, looking the picture of impatience. He would have been gone before this, had not the District-Attorney interceded for a short delay. This gentleman was
standing in the door of the post-office, appearing very much
surprised at my want of punctuality. A hasty explanation
produced a smile, and the remark, that it was a "good joke."
A doubt which I suggested, as to the safety of examining
the mail in the presence of the post master, was set at rest by
my companion, who assured me that he was certain of the
integrity of this functionary, and also informed me that he
had been made acquainted with the object of our call, before
my arrival. The post master being a merchant, there was,
among the other miscellaneous articles which compose the
stock of a country store, a fair assortment of gentlemen of
leisure, sitting upon the counter, and reclining in graceful
attitudes upon the boxes and barrels. Our unusual movements
inspired them with unwonted vigor, and an ardent desire was
manifested on their part to know what hidden mystery lurked
within the recesses of the mail-bag, which we were about carrying to a room above, in order to be out of the way of observation.  Two of these gentlemen, thirsting for knowledge,
hastily formed themselves into a committee of investigation,
and followed us up stairs, until they were summarily relieved
from the discharge of their self-imposed duties by a peremptory
intimation from  Mr. Pierce, that we wished to be alone for a
short time.
As soon as we had secured ourselves from intrusion, the bag
was hastily unlocked, and its contents turned upon the floor.
Each package was taken up, separately and carefully examined,
but the all-important one, whose absence would indicate unerringly the guilt of the suspected individual, was not there!
This was the most trying and responsible moment of all, as it
is always found to be in such investigations-the moment
when it is discovered that the trap has been sprung, and the
rogue is almost within your grasp. For experience has shown,





AN OFFICIAL VISIT BY NIGHT.


47


that missing a "decoy-letter," and establishing in a legal
manner the guilt of the individual who is known to have
intercepted it, are two very different things.  Much caution is
requisite in the management of these cases, in order to leave
no loop-hole of retreat to the culprit. Too hasty movements
might spoil all, by alarming him before he had put it out of
his power to account plausibly for the detention of the letter;
while a too long delay might enable him to increase materially
the difficulty of obtaining direct evidence, by affording him an
opportunity of disposing of the necessary proof,-:-the letter
itself, and the contained money.
In the present instance, it was considered that a too speedy
return to search for the absent package, might result in finding
it in a perfect state, allowing of the explanation by the post
master, that it had been left over by mistake in overhauling
the mail, which would have put the case in a capital shape for
a tolerably sharp lawyer to defend. We therefore concluded
to allow several hours to elapse before making a descent upon
the premises, the time being mainly occupied in drawing up
the requisite papers, and procuring the attendance of a proper
officer to serve them.
All things having been prepared, we started, at about nine
o'clock in the evening, for the post-office in question.   The
office itself was in a small building, some twenty rods from
the post master's house, and as we approached the premises,
no light was visible, excepting in one of the chambers of the
dwelling. There, accordingly, we directed our steps, and a
few raps upon the door brought down the post master, light in
hand, who at once recognised " Squire Paarce," as he called
the District-Attorney. This gentleman politely requested him
to step over to the office, to transact some business, the nature
of which he did not then explain. The post master expressed
his readiness to accompany Mr. Pierce, remarking that he
must first leave him a moment, in order to go to another part
of the house for a lantern. Some such manoeuvre on his part
had been anticipated, and he was closely watched-in fact,





48


STATE OF THE FINANCES.


Mr. Pierce went with him-while absent on his errand, to
deprive him of an opportuuity of secreting any money that he
might have on his person.
On reaching the post-office, he was introduced to the Agent,
whose first object was, to get an admission from him, that he
was present when the mail arrived from Boston that day, that
he overhauled it alone, and that he had at this time no packages on hand to go by the mail Northward the day following.
These points having been ascertained, the subject of the
numerous losses on that route was broached, and the fact
plainly stated, that they had been traced to that office; which
piece of information was received by the post master with the
utmost apparent self-possession. Indeed, he seemed exceedingly surprised to hear of the various frauds which I enumerated, and professed entire ignorance that anything of the
kind had occurred, assuring me that if such things had been
done, my suspicions as to his office were utterly groundless.
"1 Do you receive much money in the course of your business, Mr. F.?" I asked.
"Some," was the laconic reply.
"i Have you much on hand now, and is it here, or at the
house, or where is it?"
" I don't know that my duty to the Post-office Department
compels me to answer such questions-to strangers, anyhow,"
replied he, with an air of defiance.
"Then," said I, "my duty to the Department will require
me to dispense with further interrogatories, and proceed to
satisfy myself as to the present state of your finances in some
other, and more direct way."
"Well, Squire," said he, turning to Mr. Pierce, "I want to
know if you have brought this man here to bully me, on my own
premises, and accuse me of doing things that I never thought
of, to say nothing of his impertinence in inquiring into my
private business affairs. Let him find out what he can about
them. I sha'n't help him."
The District-Attorney assured him that all was correct; that





FINDING THE MARKED BILLS.


49


his rights should be protected; and that he had better furnish
the required information as to his means, and allow us to examine any funds he might have on hand. This, the Attorney
suggested, would be the course which a regard for his own
interests should lead him to adopt.
After much grumbling, and giving vent to his dissatisfaction by the remark, that "he didn't see why he should be
picked out, and treated in this way," he reluctantly complied
with my somewhat urgent request to be allowed to look at the
money in his possession. Handing me his wallet; he awaited
the result of the examination with all the composure he could
command. He must have inferred, from what had been said,
that it was in my power to identify whatever money he had
that was unlawfully obtained, yet with the consciousness that
he was thus open to detection, he did not flinch, nor betray
but in a small degree, the heart-sinking that a knowledge of
his perilous situation could not fail to produce. These were
my first thoughts, but I afterwards had occasion to believe that
he was not aware of the overwhelming proof against himself
which he supplied as he passed his pocket-book into my
hands. A hasty examination of its contents revealed unmistakable evidence of his guilt, for on consulting the description
of the bills mailed that morning in Boston, to go some twenty
miles above this point, every one of them was at once identified!
"Mr. F.," said I, 1 this money I saw placed in a letter in
Boston, this morning, to go some distance above you; how
came it in your wallet?"
For some time the unfortunate man was speechless. He
had continued so long in his course of fraud, that the ground
had begun to feel firm beneath his feet, when all at once this
gulf opened before him, about to swallow up everything that
man ought to hold most dear: character, liberty, the love and
respect of his fellow men, and even property-a thing of comparatively little importance-for restitution would justly be
required.
5





THE ARREST.


The words in which one of Milton's fallen spirits addresses
a brother angel, might appropriately be applied to this victim
of the lust of gold.
" If thou be'st he;-but 0, how fallen, how changed!"
Yes, indeed, how changed! He had occupied a high position
in community, enjoying the confidence of every one; and had
been elected to places of honor and trust by his fellow-citizens,
before his appointment to this office by the general Government. What was he now?         What would he be when it
should be known everywhere that the exemplary Mr. F. had
been guilty of a felon's crimes, and was likely to meet with a
felon's doom?   How could he ever face again his children,
already deprived of one parent by death, and about to lose
another by that which is worse than death? Ah! if crime'
presented the same aspect before its perpetration that it does
afterward, how vast would be the diminution of human guilt!
The District-Attorney and Sheriff having purposely retired
for a few moments, I took occasion to represent to F., in as
strong a light as possible, the disappointments and distress
which his unprincipled course had occasioned among the
pupils of the academy, at the same time urging him, if he
had not destroyed their letters, to produce them at once, that
they might be forwarded to their rightful owners. He did
not deny that he was the author of all the mischief; and
stated that the letters he had taken had been destroyed, but
that the money-several hundred dollars-was invested in real
estate, and could be restored.
After I had ascertained these important facts, I consigned
the criminal to the Sheriff's hands, in virtue of the warrant
which had before been made out, as I have already mentioned.
The Sheriff returned to the house with him, to allow him to
make some preparation for a night's ride, and as they issued
from the dwelling, I noticed that F. had on the identical
Quaker coat, which had been to him what the robe of Nessus





CHARACTER OFTEN IRRETRIEVABLE.


51


was to Hlercules,-a garment bringing unforeseen destruction
to its wearer.
The trial of the prisoner was held in due time, and its
result furnished no exception to the truth of the Scriptural
declaration respecting the way of transgressors.
Before closing   this narrative, I    should  mention   that
measures were taken to secure the restoration of their money
to those who had been defrauded by this man's dishonesty.
It was, however, a slower process to heal the wounded feelings,
to re-establish the broken friendships, and to reproduce the
lost confidence, of which he had been the guilty cause.
Whether he ever regained his lost reputation, I am unable
to say.
A long course of upright conduct may and ought to obliterate the memory of former crime, but the commission of
such crimes ordinarily raises additional barriers in the way of
a virtuous life; and too often it were as hopeful a task to
collect the fragments of a diamond which has just been dashed
upon the pavement, and attempt to reconstruct it in its original
beauty, as to gather up the remains of a ruined character, and
endeavor to restore it to its former lustre.





CHAPTER II.


A competent Assistant-Yielding to Temptation-An easy Post Mas--
ter-Whispers of Complaint-Assistant embarrassed-Application
to his Uncle-The Refusal-Value of a kind Word-Resort to Depredations-Evidences of Guilt-Decoy Letter taken-The Bowling
Saloon-The Agent worsted-The Restaurant-Bother of the Credit
System-The fatal Bank-Note--Keen Letter to the Agent--The Arrest-The next Meeting.
THOSE who are connected in any way with the administration of the law, find their sympathies excited in very different degrees by the several cases which they have in hand from
time to time. Although the ruin of character is to be
deplored under all circumstances, yet it never gives rise to
greater commiseration and regret than when it destroys more
than ordinary capabilities for adorning and profiting society.
Such were the capabilities possessed by Thomas L., the subject
of the following sketch.
I have rarely, in my official capacity, come in contact with
a young man who was more richly endowed with acuteness of
intellect, brilliancy of talent, and fascination of manners; and
in addition to these gifts of nature, he had received from a
devoted mother those lessons of morality and religion which
she fondly hoped would guard him from the dangers that
c might beset his path. Well was it for her peace of mind
that she was removed to that world " where the wicked cease
from troubling, and the weary are at rest," while yet her
(52)





A COMPETENT ASSISTANT.


53


beloved son retained an unsullied character, and the respect
of his fellow-men.
Such was the young man whose fall I have to record.     His
employer, the post master, was a man of ample pecuniary
means, independent of the emoluments of his office, and, as is
often true in similar cases, giving but little time or attention
to the discharge of its duties. Nor was his immediate superintendence necessary, so far as concerned the details of business, for his young Assistant, though only eighteen years of
age, kept everything in complete order, and so administered
the office, with the occasional assistance of a younger lad, as to
give perfect satisfaction to all who had dealings with it, and to
render the angel-like visits of the post master a matter of very
little consequence to the public. But this universal popularity, and the absence of supervision and of restraint, other
than that supplied by his own conscience, were circumstances
unfavorable to the preservation of his integrity, and laid him
open to the temptations which so easily assail those of like
character and similarly situated.
The most gifted and socially attractive are always peculiarly
exposed to danger of this kind, and nothing short of firmly
established principle can be relied on for safety. Doubtless,
the truths which his departed mother had endeavored to impress upon his young mind often sounded their tones of warning in his ears; yet they were too weak to be heard in the
roar of the stream which was bearing him along to destruction.
A few drops of water seem of little importance. They may
sparkle as dew, they may form    a rainbow; but when, united
to others, they rush onward as a mighty torrent, sweeping
everything before them, we may see how pleasing and often
apparently trifling are the beginnings of evil, and how irresistible are its downward. tendencies to those who put themselves
within its power.
The usual enticements of a moderate-sized Massachusetts
country village,--the sleighing parties, dancing schools, balls,
refreshment saloons, bowling alleys, &c., conspired in this case
5*





54


WHISPERS OF COMPLAINT.


to invite considerable expenditures, and the subject of this
sketch, in his attempt to keep up with the course of extravagance and unthinking dissipation upon which his companions
had entered, who could better afford the expense, found his
means entirely inadequate to this end; but before making the
discovery, he had been committed to the whirlpool of fashionable pleasure too far to extricate himself without much
difficulty.
The first effects of this course began to show themselves in
the frequent closing of the office in advance of the propei
time, and the opening of it at irregular and often unseasonable
hours.   Whispers of complaint were heard on the part of
business men, which, coming to the ears of the post master,
were followed by some gentle remonstrances,-gentle they
necessarily were, for circumstances already related had given
the boy too much consequence (rendering his services, as he
well knew, quite indispensable) to allow him to bear patiently
anything like a "blowing up" from his too easy employer.
For a time, however, this remissness ceased, and like some
noble ship struck by a heavy wave and brought to a momentary stand, while driving onward to shipwreck, this promising
young man appeared to pause in his dangerous career, and for
a while all seemed to be going on well. But the improvement
was only temporary. The importunities of his companions,
innocent perhaps of any vicious design, again diverted his
attention from business, and he was soon fairly in the old track
of pleasure-seeking, regardless of the sacrifice of time or money.
Having the entire control of the post-office funds, and not
being required to account for the money collected till the close
of the quarter, he at first ventured to use these funds in a limited way, to pay the more urgent demands upon him, trusting,
as he afterwards expressed himself, that " something would
turn up," he knew not what, to enable him to replace the
money before the quarterly settlement with his confiding employer. As the time approached, he discovered with dismay
that the deficiency amounted to some seventy-five dollars.





APPLICATION FOR AID.


55


How to make this good was a perplexing question, which occupied his daily thoughts and disturbed his nightly slumbers.
He was proud-spirited, and up to this time, had enjoyed an
unspotted reputation. Discovery must be averted at any rate.
At this juncture, the thought of some property which his
widowed mother at her death had left for him in 14,e hands
of a relative living at a distance, came to his relief, and he
resolved to lose no time in applying for aid in that direction.
A frank and full statement of his real situation would no doubt
have brought him the desired aid, but, as will be seen in his
letter of application to his uncle, he was induced to give a
false reason for his need of funds, and the cold, businesslike reply which followed, is such as would naturally be expected from one who had no sympathy with the weaknesses of
youth, and no disposition to inquire with a kindly interest into
the affairs of his young relative. Had this reply been different in its tone, it might have drawn out the requisite explanation, and have effectually prevented what afterwards occurred.
Here are the letters:
E--, Mass., February 16th, 1849.
My dear Uncle,
I am in need of some funds, say seventy-five dollars. I have foolishly loaned about that amount in small sums to a friend at school
here, upon whose word I thought I could depend, when he promised
me he could replace it at any moment I desired. I shall consider it
a great favor if you will accommodate me.
Your affectionate nephew,
THOMAS.
To this the following reply was received:New York, February 19th, 1849.
My dear Sir,
Your letter of the 16th inst. is before me, soliciting the sum of
seventy-five dollars. This singular request has very much surprised
me, as in the first place I have no available means in my hands
belonging to you, and besides, if I had, I should not be in a hurry





56


VALUE OF A KIND WORD.


to relieve you from the embarrassment which you seem to be in, as
it may learn you to be more cautious in future.
I have understood that your compensation is ample for your support, if you are economical; but if you lend your money to spendthrifts, and get swindled out of it, it is your own affair. This is the
opinion of
Yours, &c.,
HENRY S-.
It can be imagined how much a response of this description
was calculated to open the heart, or invite the confidence of
the unfortunate Thomas. His pride felt sorely the repulsive
tone which his uncle adopted, and the supposed disgrace of
making an unsuccessful application for money, to say nothing
of the slurs cast upon his own discretion, and the honor
of his companions. At this critical juncture in the character
and affairs of the young man, such a cold rebuff was like a
death-blow to all purposes of future fidelity and honesty; and
as I listened to this part of the instructive narration, I could
not but feel that the uncle, by withholding needed sympathy
and aid, was in some degree responsible for the after course of
his erring nephew.
All hope of assistance in this direction having been abandoned, desperation suggested a further departure from honesty.
"It is but a little more risk," whispered the fiend.  " Take
enough to make this quarter's account square, and you will
come out right somehow before another settlement."
Weakened conscience was unable to withstand the pressure
of circumstances, and the plausible scheme proposed for relief.
So, money letters, which heretofore had been perfectly safe, were
emptied of their contents to meet the present exigency.
Indications not to be mistaken, that some one was robbing
the mails in that vicinity, soon began to appear, though among
all the complaints, not one referred to the loss of any letter
mailed at or addressed to the office at E. They all related to
important letters posted at other offices, but passing through
E., and it was not until all sorts of tests and experiments had





EVIDENCES OF GUILT.


57


been tried in vain at other points, and every other mode of
operation exhausted, that the Agent took up temporary quarters at the private residence of an acquaintance, from which,
without being observed, he could overlook this office, hitherto
the least suspected on the route.
The opportunity afforded after dark of taking a glance at
the interior of the office and its principal occupant, through
the glass boxes in front, was of course properly improved, and
this little experiment furnished, as the result showed, an important clue to the whole matter; for on the first -evening's
watch, I discovered what I deemed evidence of the clerk's
guilt.
Stepping silently and unnoticed into the vestibule of the
office, and gaining a position whence I could observe his motions, I distinctly saw him thrust what appeared to be a letter
into the stove, afterwards taking up a wallet from the table
and placing it hastily in his pocket. I must have made some
slight noise, for after doing this, he suddenly turned and looked
sharply in my direction.
This may have been nothing more than the instinctive
glance of distrust which those who have not the entire control of themselves are apt to cast around after doing something that they would dislike to be detected in.
However it may have been, thinking that he had discovered me, I stepped boldly up to the " general delivery,"
and inquired for a letter for " Robert Marshall, railroad contractor," taking occasion to observe him closely as he was engaged in running over the letters.      He seemed confused,
his hands shook a little, his face was flushed, and his voice
was inclined to tremble, as he replied that there was " nothing
for Robert Marshall." I attributed all this to fear lest his
previous movements might have been observed, and left the
office, strongly suspecting that Thomas L. was the author of
the depredations in question.
A few experiments in the way of " decoy letters," mailed





58


DECOY LETTER TAKEN.


so as to pass through that office, soon converted suspicion into
certainty. One of these letters, containing sundry bank-notes,
disappeared, and one of the notes was traced directly back to
his hands. How this was done, the reader will probably insist
upon knowing, and it is my intention to gratify this thirst for
information, although in so doing I shall be compelled to
reveal a degree of unskilfulness in the game of ten-pins
which would deter the most sanguine gamester from betting on
my head.
In the basement of the hotel was a bowling saloon, which,
as I had ascertained, the suspected clerk was in the habit of
visiting in the evening, after closing the post-office, and this fact
suggested my plan.    I might have arrested and searched
him at once, but I thought it the better way to watch the
money exchanged by him, in the hope that some of the missing bills might thus come to light.
For if he should chance to have none of these about his
person, a search would spoil all, by putting him on his guard,
whereas if he should offer none of them, no harm would be
done, and things would remain in statu guo.
With these views I made a confidant of the landlord of the
hotel which contained the bowling saloon, and agreed to meet
him there early in the evening for a '" roll," and arranged that
in case the young man came in as usual, my partner should
excuse himself, and substitute L. in his place, to oblige a
stranger, who, of course, was rolling merely for exercise.
My design in making this arrangement was to fasten the
expense of the evening's recreation upon L. by a brilliant and
overpowering display of my skill in bowling, calculating that
he would probably pass some of the stolen money in payment.
This was my programme-how it was executea I shall proceed
to show.
" Mine host" and I had been rolling perhaps half an hour,
when a fine-looking, well-dressed young man entered the
saloon, whom I at once recognised as L. The landlord and
myself happened to be the only ones then engaged in playing,





THE BOWLING SALOON.


59


as it was rather early in the evening for the appearance of most
of those who resorted there; so L. watched our game for a
while, till the landlord, looking at his watch, remarked that he
had an engagement which must be attended to immediately,
and turning to L., said,
"Here, Tom, you take my place with this gentleman, for
I've got to go away."
'" Enough said," replied Tom. "I am always on hand for
most any kind of a ball."
As I looked at the pleasing features and intelligent' countenance of the young man, a pang of sorrow shot through my heart,
to think that over his head the invisible sword of justice was
even now suspended. But such reflections are unprofitable,
inasmuch as they tend to unfit one for the discharge of painful duty. So I dismissed them as far as I could, and applied
myself to my double game--
" Rolling down at once, by a double stroke,
A man, as well as a pin."
The first roll of my new antagonist shook my faith in the
feasibility of my plan, for the ball went clattering among the
wooden platoons like the grape-shot at Balaklava, and in an
instant ten block heads bit the dust.
"A rather bad beginning," thought I; "but I don't believe
he can do that again."
Comforting myself with this reflection, I applied all the
practical and theoretical skill I was master of, to vanquish my
experienced foe. I called to mind my long dormant and slender knowledge about the angles of incidence and reflection. I
considered the nature of resultant forces, and the effect which
a ball impinging on pin A would have upon the uprightness
of its neighbors, B, C, &c. I thus devised theoretical "ten
strikes," which (doubtless from some defect in the reasoning)
would fall short of my ideal standard by as much as four or
five pins; and on several occasions, the ball strayed almost





60


THE AGENT WORSTED.


innocuously through the ranks, prostrating only one or two of
the outposts. I had a few transient gleams of light when my
adversary grew somewhat careless, perhaps from continued
success; but darkness soon returned upon my prospects, and I
saw in my mind's eye the money coming from my pocket and
not his.
We held but little conversation during the progress of our
game, for my thoughts were preoccupied with my ultimate object, and L. made no great effort to overcome my taciturnity;
yet some casual remarks were made which showed'that he
identified me as the person who inquired for letters for 1 "Robert
Marshall, railroad contractor."
After playing thus for some time, he invited me to take a
glass of ale, which proposition I gladly accepted, as it would
give me one more chance to know something about the contents
of his pocket book. I began to think that my toils were nearly
over, and as we stood imbibing the fluid, I could hardly wait
until the glasses were emptied, in my impatience to see the
bank-note produced which was to settle at once the bill, and
him.
Delusive anticipations!  The credit system interposed to
crush my hopes, for L. said to the bar-tender, " Put it down
to me, Jim."
As " Jim" put it down, I felt put down, and followed my
companion back to the alley as humbly as if we had changed
places, and I was the suspected one.
" Come, Mr. L.," said I, after we had resumed our game,
" you play so much better than I that you will be safe in giving
me some little advantage. Just allow me twenty on a 'string,'
and let me see if I can do any better at that."
"1 Very well, sir," said he, " I will do it, although I am afraid
you will be too much for me."
But I was not, and after playing until, the establishment
closed for the night, I found myself under the disagreeable
necessity of paying some three dollars for the privilege of being
thoroughly defeated, deducting the benefit received from more
than two hours' hard work!





N~         I
K */ ~
/,~~


/1


//










THE RESTAURANT.


61


One other expedient suggested itself, namely, offering in
payment a twenty dollar note, in the hope that the proprietor,
finding it inconvenient to make change, would call on the victorious clerk to accommodate him, and thus would bring to light
the missing bills. But this device also failed.
I did not yet " give up the ship."
"I don't know how it is with you, L.," said I, '1 but I feel
rather empty about the epigastric region, after such a pull as
you have given me, and I should think you might afford to
treat a fellow."
"Well, I don't care if I do," said he. "I feel a sort of
gnawing under my vest. Come up stairs, and we'll get something."
To this I replied that I was tired of the noise, and would
rather go to some more quiet place. He readily assented, and
led the way to a neighboring restaurant. We ensconced ourselves within one of the curtained recesses, and here I devoted
myself to the consumption of as much 1" provant" as my digestive organs could dispose of, with the intention of running up
as large a bill as possible, in order that a bank-note might be
offered in payment, and the desired proof of my companion's
guilt secured. I saw through the corner of my eye that he
seemed to be studying my physiognomy, and the thought came
into my mind that his readiness to " treat" was owing to his
wish for a good opportunity to find out something more about
me. We had begun to talk about various kinds of occupations,
and he inquired,
"Is not your business a profitable one, Mr.-Marshall, I
believe?"
I acknowledged the name, and said that my business was
anything but a profitable one.*
" Isn't it a rather ticklish one, now-a-days? so much rascality you know."
* See Act of Congress establishing the compensation of Special
Agents.
6





62


CREDIT SYSTEM.


"1 Yes, but I mean to look out sharp for rogues, and to be
pretty sure that I deal with people I can trust."
I have a very good situation in the post-office," said he,
" but I sometimes wish to be where I could have more variety
-some kind of business that would require me to travel."
"You had better be contented where you are," replied I;
"this seventeen-year old fever never did any one much good.
If you are faithful in your present place, you will have no
trouble in getting a better situation a few years hence."
To this he made no reply, and the conversation dropped.
After I had appeased "the sacred rage of hunger," and
added some works of supererogation in that line for the furtherance of my object, we emerged from our retreat, as "the
iron tongue of midnight" was tolling twelve, which sounded to
me like the knell of my companion's doom, for I felt confident
that the time had now come for the denouement of the two-act
drama which we had been playing that evening. It seemed
extremely improbable that there should be here any accommodating "Jim" to score down the little bill for future settlement.
But there was. We went up to what was then the bar, but in
these temperance times would be called the "office," and L.
said to the presiding genius, with a familiar and confident
air, " Just charge that to me, and I'll make it all right."
" Rather all wrong," thought I.
As we passed out into the darkness of the night and stood
for a moment on the steps, I thought I discovered, by the
faint light of a street lamp, my companion observing me with
scrutinizing glances, thus seeming to indicate a suspicion on
his part that our rapid acquaintance and companionship had
not been without some design, which he was desirous of penetrating. Indeed a fear of this produced anything but agreeable reflections after we had separated, and I had retired to
my lodgings. Could it be that a suspicion of my real object
had prevented him from paying for the ale, and settling the
bill at the restaurant? It seemed possible, certainly, yet under
other circumstances I should have thought nothing of the





LETTER TO THE AGENT.


63


occurrence, and he seemed to be satisfied with the " dodge"
of the "railroad contractor."
Then came a doubt as to the wisdom      of the policy I had
adopted, in allowing him to be at large, instead of arresting
him at once on the disappearance of the decoy letter. Several days had elapsed since it was taken, and the probability of
finding any part of its contents upon him, hardly seemed to warrant a resort to that course now; so, on the whole, I concluded
to persevere in the cautious line of policy with which I had
commenced.
In the course of a conversation which I held with the aforementioned landlord, on the following day, the fact came to
light that he had a claim against L., for money loaned. It
occurred to me that an urgent application for its repayment
might accomplish the desired object, and I requested the
landlord to assist me in this way.   He readily complied, and
after a second appeal the debt was discharged, and among" the
money, which I lost no time in comparing with the description of that purloined from the letter, was a five dollar note
that I at once identified as one of the stolen bills.
Notwithstanding this overwhelming evidence as to the
origin of the mail depredations on this route, there were good
reasons for further delay in making the arrest, especially as it
seemed unlikely that the person detected would know anything
of his real situation for a few days. During this interval, I
found it necessary to visit a neighboring city. The reader
may judge of my surprise at receiving, two days afterwards, a
letter, of which the following is a copy:Sir,
I have ascertained, no matter how, that you are the "railroad contractor" whom I met in the basement of the hotel in this
place a few evenings since, and who partook of my hospitalities afterwards at M--'s saloon. Also that you entertained and perhaps
still entertain some doubts of my honesty, as a clerk in the post-office
here.
I am sorry you had not the candor to say as much to my face, and





64


THE ARREST.


thus afford me the opportunity of satisfying you as to my standing
and character among those who have known me best and longest.
You are welcome, sir, to all the advantage you obtained in your underhanded dealings with me on the occasion referred to; if, however, you
cannot prostrate private character faster than you can ten-pins, I
think I have but little to fear at present.
Yours, not very respectfully,
THOMAS L-.
To J. Holbrook,
Specidl Agent, P. O. Dept.
How this clue to my official identity was obtained, I failed
to discover at the time, and have been no wiser on that point
at any period since. Nor was it of much account, as the
information, from whatever quarter derived, came too late to
be of any avail, and after he had exposed himself by passing
the money which had been placed in the mail to detect him.
When he was preparing the above epistle, congratulating himself on my want of skill at prostrating "private character,"
little did he think that I had already achieved a sweeping "tenstrike" in his own case!
The necessary complaint was made, a warrant issued, and
the unfortunate young man taken into custody by the U. S.
Marshal. I shall never forget the indescribable look which he
gave me as he entered the office of the U. S. Commissioner,
for a preliminary examination. It was the first time we had
met since the memorable roll and supper, and the quondam
" railroad contractor" now first appeared to his eye transmuted
into the formidable " Special Agent."
There was little surprise in his look, but an expression of
mortified pride and anger, as he addressed me in a low tone,
"I thought I should meet you here!"
Well, Thomas," said I, "I don't know as you will believe
me, but, I assure you, I heartily regret that you are brought
to this pass, and if the ends of justice could be answered, I
should be the first to let you go free."





TIHE NEXT MEETING.


65


"Perhaps you would," replied he, moodily. "It's easy
enough to say so."
"But," I remarked, "I want you to take a reasonable
view of the matter. You cannot think me so destitute of
common humanity as to wish to place any one in such an unpleasant position, much less a young man like yourself, so capable
of better things."
He appeared to be somewhat impressed by the earnestness
with which I spoke, and answered in a softened tone,
" I suppose I ought to believe you, but it seems hard to be
entrapped in the way I have been."
" It may be the best thing that could have happened to you
under the circumstances," said I, " and I sincerely hope that
it will prove so."
I was desirous of making him see that I was actuated in
the course I had taken by no motive other than a wish to discharge my duty faithfully, and therefore left him for the time
to consider what I had said, confident that a little reflection
would calm his ruffled temper, and lead him to a correct view
of the case. In this I was not mistaken, and when I urged
him to make a confession on the ground of justice to others,
and his own interest, he " made a clean breast" of it, and gave
in substance the account of his downward course, with which
the reader is already familiar.  He expressed much regret
and penitence, and a mournful satisfaction that his mother
was not alive to know of his disgrace.
It seems unnecessary to pursue the subject further. The
force of the lesson it is calculated to teach would not thus be
increased, and the feelings of some might be harrowed up,
who should rather receive sympathy and consolation.


6*





CHAPTER         III.
Business Rivalry-Country Gossiping-Museum of Antiquities-New
Post Master-Serious Rumors--Anonymous Letters-Package detained-Bar-room Scene-Ramifications of the Law-First Citizens
-Rascally Enemies-Lawyer's Office-Gratuitous Backing-Telegraphing-U. S. Marshal arrives-The Charge-The Fatal Quarter
-Enemies' Triumph-The Warrant-Singular Effects of FearA  Faithful Wife-Sad Memories-The Squire's Surprise-All
right.
THE jealousies and rivalry often existing between persons
of similar occupations, which supply the truth contained in
the old proverb, "Two of a trade can never agree," are fos.
tered and strengthened in small towns to an extent which is
not as conspicuous, and perhaps not as frequently observed in
larger places. For this general spirit of emulation and strife
is greatly aggravated by the interest that almost all the inhabitants of small communities feel in the sayings and doings of
their neighbors.
This interest is too often manifested by reporting from one
to another hasty and ill-considered speeches, which should be
suffered to die where they are born; but thus set in motion by
careless tongues, for the benefit of itching ears, they roll on
like snow-balls, and attain a size and shape hardly recognisable
by those who gave them their first impulse.
An incidental, but an important consequence of these circumstances, is the ready formation of parties about almost
(66)





COUNTRY GOSSIP.


67


every quarrel that may arise in such a village. The tranquil
surface of country life is in this way disturbed, like that of a
still lake by the plunge of a stone into its bosom, and the
resulting waves, in both instances, extend indefinitely in every
direction.
The bustling little town of H. was not exempt from the
evils at which I have glanced, for the half-dozen shopkeepers
who supplied the inhabitants with their necessaries and luxuries, fully exemplified the truth of the proverb above quoted.
Their rivalry, however, was not exercised by and toward one
another impartially, but it was rather a contest between the
old, established merchants of the place, and one whose coming
was of a comparatively recent date. It was, in short, a competition between Old and Young America.
The old school merchants affected to look with contempt on
their younger brother and his goods, suggesting that, however
alluring his prices and commodities might be, his customers
would find to their cost, that "All is not gold that glitters."
Hints were thrown out about calicoes that " did from their
color fly," and sugar that was not entirely soluble in hot
water. It was also darkly intimated that B. (the merchant in
question) couldn't stand it long at the rate he was going on,
rashly keeping his assortment full all the time, instead of
cautiously waiting until an article was ordered, before he sent
for it. This sort of thing would never do. It was sure to
bring him to ruin.
On the other hand, the enterprising B. ridiculed the clique
of "old fogies," as he termed them, and characterized their
establishments as " Museums of Antiquities."    In accordance
with the spirit of the age, he lined his shop with vast handbills, printed on type of stupendous size, so that he who runs
might read; with such headings as "The only Cheap Store!"
"Fresh and fashionable Goods at Low Prices!" " This Stock
of Goods bought within the present Century!" and other
wonderful announcements, which drew the susceptible public





68


NEW POST MASTER.


within his doors to a greater extent than was agreeable to the
feelings or the interests of his "slower" competitors.
And as if all this was not enough, by way of climax to his
prosperous course, B. received the appointment of post master.
The post-office, as a matter of course, always brings an increase
of business to the store where it is kept; and in the present
instance, B. did not fail to secure all the advantages arising
from his position.
And so successfully did he manage his affairs, with this additional impetus, that one or two of his opponents, finding many
of their customers deserting them by reason of the superior
attractions of the " new store," abandoned the field in disgust,
determined, however, to lose no opportunity of undermining
the object of their jealousy, or at least of injuring his prospects.
Rumors, detrimental not only to his reputation as a man of
business, but to his character as a post master, soon got abroad.
How they originated, no one knew; whether they had any
foundation in truth, no one could say. The baseless reports
which malice invents, have no more permanent effect upon an
upright character, than have flying clouds upon the mountain
which they may temporarily obscure; and it is only when
rumors are weighted by truth, that they can injure materially
the object at which they are aimed.
"' Honor dwelling in the heart,
Welcome friends or welcome foes.
Whensoe'er it doth depart,
Smiles are weak, but strong are blows."
Anonymous letters were despatched to the Post Master
General, expressing a want of confidence in the management
of the office, and hinting at something of a more criminal
nature than mere official carelessness and neglect; but as such
complaints are always disregarded when unaccompanied by
responsible names (being considered the result of personal
rivalry or malice), nothing was done in the premises.





BUSINESS RIVALS.


69


These unknown correspondents, however, did not cease from
their machinations, and it soon came to the ears of the obnoxious post master, that he had been assailed at head-quarters;
unjustly, as he claimed. So he lost no time in repelling the
c vile slanders" through the medium of sundry long-winded
communications to the Department, the burthen of which was,
that business rivals had done it all; and that the ridiculous
stories which had been set afloat, originated entirely in the
unworthy design of building up their authors on the ruins of
his good name. And in the most indignant terms he courted,
and even demanded, a careful investigation of his official acts
and his private character.
These various communications on both sides were all
referred to the Special Agent, that he might establish either
the truth or the falsity of the charges made against this post
master.
The first step was to obtain a private interview with some
of the complainants, who were traced out by means of the
specimens of their handwriting furnished by the letters they
had sent to the Department.
They readily admitted themselves to be the authors of those
documents, after having been assured that the Government
had no other object than to ascertain the truth, and to protect
the rights of the citizens who had an interest in the post-office.
I gave them to understand that the Department required
something more than mere assertion as a ground for decided
action; and suggested, that if those charges were well founded,
which represented the loss of valuable letters posted at that
office, their truth could be shown by furnishing a list of such
letters, and a statement of all the facts, by the parties immediately interested.
As had been stated, the accusers of B. proved to be his
rivals in trade, and their active friends, animated and impelled
by that bitter competition of which I have already spoken.
In addition to the causes to which I have alluded as especially influential in country places, to produce such a state of





70


A SCREW LOOSE.


feeling, may be mentioned a sectarian spirit, the bane of many
small villages, creating needless prejudices, dividing the community into discordant fragments, and forcing a man to stand,
in a degree at least, not on his own merits, but on the preference of the sect with which he may be connected. This sentiment is in some measure natural, and unavoidable. Similarity of opinion tends to create favorable prepossessions
toward those who thus agree, but is ever liable to produce an
exclusive feeling which does injustice to all concerned.
Thus arises much of the sympathy and preferences which
are so strongly felt in small communities, especially towards
merchants and professional men.
Dr. Wilkins goes to our meeting, therefore he is a good doctor, whatever other folks may say. Mrs. Garfield, the trader's
wife, is such a good woman, and did so much in fixing up our
church and the vestry, that we must all " patronize" her husband, and sustain him against his enemies, who oppose him
solely on account of his activity, and that of his family, in
building up "our society."      Dr. Wilkins may not be eminently successful in the treatment of his patients, and Mr.
Garfield may be far from remarkable for his moderate prices,
yet their enthusiastic friends stick to them through thick and
thin.
All these things must be taken into the account in pursuing
investigations like those which I had just commenced, and
due allowance made for the disturbing forces acting on the
minds of those who undertake to furnish the required information. The rubbish of selfishness and gossip must be thrown
aside, and only those statements regarded which are corroborated by sufficient evidence.
Acting upon this rule in the present instance, but willing,
'in justice to the accused as well as to the public, to follow up
even the accusations of open enemies, I instituted careful inquiries in the right quarter, which soon established the fact
that there was a screw loose not far from that post office, if not
directly in connection with it. But for some weeks previous,





STRAY MONEY LETTER.


71


no letters had been disturbed which were deposited in or addressed to this office, the failures having been confined to the
mails which passed through it and were there assorted. This
circumstance rather confirmed suspicion than otherwise, for
the post master being aware of the complaints sent to Washington, would consider it necessary to use greater caution in
carrying on his depredations (if he were guilty,) especially in
regard to the class of letters taken.  But in such cases, as in
those that come under the supervision of medical art, various
applications are required according to the changes in-symptoms
and circumstances.
For instance, I might perhaps have worked to this day in
the ordinary line of experiments, such as depositing special
test letters in that office, or sending them to be delivered
there, and all to no purpose. They would, for a time at least,
have been the object of special care, and particular pains
would have been taken for their safe dispatch; while if dishonesty really existed, it would seek out and avail itself of
such opportunities as would not be likely to betray it, or to
attract the attention of the self-constituted " vigilance committee," which had already sounded the alarm.
With such views, I adopted a species of " decoy" which I
thought best suited to meet the exigencies of the case. In
the first place a document was prepared addressed to an imaginary firm at Rouse's Point, New York. It read as follows:
Boston, March 20, 1850.
Messrs. Baxter & Clark,
Gentlemen,
Herewith you will receive twenty-five dollars and fifty cents, the
balance of my account, and for which you will please send me a receipt as soon as convenient.
When does either of your firm intend to visit Boston? I like the
articles you last sent me very much better than the former ones, and
so say my customers,-will send you another order before long.
Very Respectfully Yours,
F. P. CRANE, Jr.





72


OLD MAID'S EPISTLE.


Bank notes of a small denomination were used to make up
the twenty-five dollars named in the letter, and two American
quarters enclosed, to make it more attractive; both bills and
specie having been marked, and a full description of them
taken.
Another letter, written in a different hand, addressed to a
lady, and containing nothing of value, was also prepared and
placed in a note envelope, to accompany the above business
letter.  Here is a copy of it:Boston, March 19; 1850.
My Dear Cousin,
Since you visited us, we have experienced important changes. Our
family is pretty much broken up by George's death. Father and
mother depended so much on him to manage our out of doors affairs,
that they don't feel like keeping house any longer, and have gone
to boarding, and as I shall not have any particular household cares,
I expect to be floating about, like many others of the sisterhood of
old maids, ready to make myself generally useful.
Perhaps I may inflict a visit on you in the course of the summer,
and help you to take care of that baby. I can't stop to write any
more, for we are hardly settled after moving. Father and mother
send love to you and husband.
Your Affectionate
SARAH.
My object in sending this second missive was to prevent
any suspicion that otherwise might arise in regard to the
money-letter. For it might reasonably be presumed that the
accused post master would be on the watch for anything that
could by any possibility compromise him; and a solitary letter
containing funds, passing through his office, might "give him
pause," in case he should have any desire to appropriate its
contents.
Both letters were directed to Rouse's Point, N. Y., regularly post-marked at the Boston post-office, and the post bill
also made out for Rouse's Point.   But on the outside wrapper
was purposely written the name of the office which I wished
to test.  This would excite no suspicion, for mistakes such as





THE " MIS-SENT" PACKAGE.


73


this appeared to be, do sometimes occur in the hurry of
making up the mails. Instead of putting the package into
the mail, however, I conveyed it myself to a point near the
town of H., and saw it placed in the pouch just before it
reached that office.
The question now to be settled was, whether on taking off
the wrapper (marked " H." as the reader will remember,) and
finding the enclosed letters directed to another place, he would
forward them to their address, as was his duty, or would
appropriate them to himself, believing that they had come
there in consequence of a mere accident, and that if he should
see fit to take possession of them, the circumstances of the
case would effectually conceal his crime, and render search
unavailing.
It may be said that this was carrying temptation too far.
By no means. What degree of integrity should be i0asonably
required, let me ask, of a person in the service of the public,
occupying a responsible position like that of a post master?
upon whose fidelity depend the prompt and safe transaction of
business, and the security of many other interests of social life.
Will a valetudinarian virtue answer the purpose? a virtue strong
against weak temptations, but weak against strong ones? The
man whose principles cannot withstand every degree of enticement to dishonesty, is unfit for any place of trust.
Furthermore, the combination of circumstances which I have
just described, might occur in the experience of any post master
throughout the country, and the sufferers by the unfaithfulness
of an official so tempted, would hardly be satisfied with being told
that he could have resisted any ordinary enticement, but that
such an opportunity was too good to be lost.
It should be borne in mind that up to this time, the party
whose character was involved in these investigations and experiments, was totally unaware of the visits of the Agent to his
neighborhood.
The mis-sent package referred to, arrived at the office in H.
on the evening of the day that it left Boston, and should have
7





74


THE WRAPPER APPEARS.


been remailed and forwarded on the following morning; but
a close examination of the contents of the mail-bag soon after
it left H., failed to bring to light the hidden treasure. No
package for Rouse's Point made its appearance.
This, however, did not make out a clear case against the
"persecuted" official, neither did it justify his arrest.
It occurred to me, on failing to find the letters referred to,
that the wrapper in which they had been enclosed, might have
been used in sending off other letters that morning, it being
the custom in most of the smaller offices, as a matter of economy, to use the same wrappers several times by turning or
reversing them. A short search produced the paper in question, which I removed from the package it enclosed, and substituted another in its place.
Here was an additional proof that the decoy package had
reached the office at H., and had been opened, as the new
address upon the wrapper was in the post master's hand-writing.
He could not therefore say that he had never received such a
package at his office, or should he make such an assertion, as
he would be very-likely to do if he were guilty, the production
of this envelope would shut his mouth, and go far to prove his
evil intentions.
But the case, at this stage, was very far from being a clear
one against him, and he yet had a chance, if he were an honest
man, of coming out triumphant over the efforts of malice, and
the wiles of his " persecutors."
The removal of the wrapper and its use in enclosing other
packages was all natural enough, being, as I have said, agreeable to the frequent custom in such small offices, and even the
non-appearance of the Rouse's Point letters might yet be accounted for on the supposition that he had laid them aside to
be forwarded, and had forgotten them; or that not observing
the name of the town to which they were addressed, he had
placed them in the " general delivery," where they might at
that moment be lying unmolested.
Desirous of affording the suspected man a fair chance to





GOING TO COURT.


75


prove his innocence in this matter, if that were possible, and
acting in accordance with the above-mentioned charitable suppositions, I allowed two other opportunities of remailing the
letters to pass, but after searching in vain for them on both
occasions, I resolved to wait upon the post master and talk over
freely and frankly the subject of his enemies' attacks, believing
that he would not for a moment dream that I had any connection with the missing package, even if he had purloined it,a calculation which afterwards proved to be perfectly correct.
Accordingly I proceeded to the hotel at an early hour in the
morning, intending not to seek an interview with him till after
breakfast, and while waiting in the bar-room I overheard the
following conversation. For convenience' sake I will indicate
the different speakers by letters of the alphabet.
Mr. A. (to C. just entering the room.)-" Good morning,
Mr. C. Are you 'armed and equipped as the law directs' to go
over to F?" (a neighboring town.)
C.-- You mean by that, I suppose, whether I have laid in
enough cigars to last till I get there, and patience enough to
hold out till I can get back."
A.-" It will be a tedious business, that's a fact. Here's
nobody knows how many going over from this town; no end
to the witnesses, and no end to the case, I don't believe; at
least not this term of court."
" Yes," broke in a rough-looking bystander, "the court 'll
set and set, and never hatch out nothin' but a parcel of goslins
for the lawyers to pluck."
A.-" We can't dispute you, L., for you've been one of those
same 'goslins,' I believe."
L.-" No I haint, I've been a darned sight wuss,-a great
goose. I swow it makes me mad with myself whenever I think
on't."
" Come, daddy L.," spoke up a free and easy specimen of
Young America, " tell us about that great law-suit of yours. I
never heard all the particulars."
" Wal, young man," returned L. solemnly, I'll tell you all





76


RAMIFICATIONS OF THE LAW.


about it, hopin' it'll be a warnin' to you never to have nothin'
to do with the law.
" About fifteen, mebbe sixteen year ago, afore you'd got
through hollerin arter your mammy, I used to keep considerable of a lot of sheep, and one year I bought a ram that I'd
taken a fancy to jest because he was sech an all-fired big feller,
and had sech thunderin' curly horns. I got him pretty cheap,
and arter I'd had him awhile, I found out the reason on't.
He was the darndest buttin', jumpin' feller that ever I see.
There couldn't a calf nor a colt nor nothin' about his size come
into the pastur where he was, but what he'd be arter it and
knock it into a cocked hat if he could git a lick at it. Fact,
he pretty much killed two or three likely calves that I had, but
the colts was mostly too lively for him. He couldn't often hit
'em.
* Wal, I kinder hated to kill the feller, he was such a buster, so I shet him up in a little three-cornered lot so's to have
him out of the way till the calves was killed off or had got
bigger. But what did the rascal du but go to buttin' agin the
stone wall that kep him out of neighbor Bliss's patch o' rye;
and afore he'd bin there tew days, he knocked a hole in't and
got into the rye. It was a kinder out of the way place where
the lot was, so he had a chance to stay there all night, and
'praps a little longer. Anyhow, when Bliss found it out, he
was hoppin' mad.
" He's rether techy any time, but he'd bin a braggin' on this
ere field o'rye, how he was goin' to beat the hull town on it,
and to have that old ram a nibblin' and trottin' threw it, and
a spilin on't, sot his dander up. I was willin' to a' paid him
suthin' for damages, but his charges was tew hot for me.
Told him I'd see him darned afore I'd be imposed upon
in that shape. Wal, he said he'd sue me, and sure enuff he
did.
" We kept a lawin' on it considerable of a spell. Fust the
court gin him his damages; then I 'pealed, and the case kept
a gettin' put over somehow or other, till the all wool suit,'





A " LEGAL TENDER."


77


as the lawyers got to callin' it, come to be a standin' joke, and
I was heartily sick on't. Wal, finally we contrived to settle
it, and arter payin' Bliss about what he fust asked, I had my
costs to see tu, and I went to Squire Sharp, my lawyer, to see
what he was a goin' to charge me for his sarvices, as he called
it. He was jest as smilin' and clever as a baskit o' chips.
" ' Take a seat, Mr. L.' says he, I'll find your little account
in a minit.   Pleasant mornin', sir, good growin' weather.'
" Wal, I set down and found out purty soon that I'd got
'bout fifty dollars to pay for his sarvices,-blame 'em!
"' Now,' says I, c Squire, that air's a good deal o' money
for a man like me tu pay, and I don't blieve I can raise it all
tu wonst. P'raps you'd take part out in produce, jest ter
'commodate.'
' Oh, yes,' says he, ' Mr. L., I'll take anything you've a
mxind to bring.'
" ' So,' thinks I, I'll git red of one plague by the means;'
and I went home and got the old ram and carried him up
to the Squire's house.
"' Good mornin', Squire,' says I, 'I've brought the fust
instalment on my little account.'
S"'1The deuce you have,' says he, ' what do you suppose I'm
going to do with that old buck?'
"' Donno, Squire,' says I, ' all I know is that you said you'd
take anything I was a mind ter bring, and this ere ram is legal
tender, anyhow.'
" Wal, he saw he was kinder stuck, so he 'greed to take it,
and 'low me five dollars.
" I heerd arterwards that the Squire put the ram into an
empty hog-pen, to keep him until he could sell him, but the
darned critter went over the top on't, and tackled Miss Sharp,
the Squire's wife, that happened to be a stoopin' down, weedin'
her posies in the gardin, upsot her, and then put arter little
Jim, one of her boys, and floored him, and ended off with
knockin' down a crazy old well-curb, pitchin' into the well,
and breakin' his neck, or drowndin' himself, I donno which.
7*





78


ASSUMED INNOCENCE.


"That's the end of my experience in law. The old ram cost
me, fust and last, about a hundred dollars."
After the conclusion of this instructive narration, the general conversation, which for the time had been suspended, was
resumed, and I gathered from what was said that the post
master was one of the principal witnesses in the trial above
alluded to by Messrs A. & C.; that arrangements had been
made for an early start, as the place where the court was to be
held was some twelve or fifteen miles distant, and that the
hotel where we were was the place of rendezvous.
I observed narrowly every new-comer, and soon a welldressed, intelligent-looking man, apparently about thirty years
old, entered, whom I took to be the very gentleman I wished
to see. My conjecture respecting him proved to be correct,
for it was not long before some one addressed him, inquiring
whom he had engaged to take charge of the post-office during
his absence.
Deeming it unsafe to delay longer, I beckoned him out of
the room, unnoticed by others, and in a friendly and familiar
manner, introduced myself, taking care to throw him off his
guard by remarking, that being in that vicinity I had concluded to make him a call and satisfy myself whether the
complaints made to the Department respecting him were just
or otherwise, adding that in many of these cases similar complaints had their origin in personal disagreements, or business rivalry.
"I am delighted to see you," he replied.  "I am gratified
that the Department has at last authorized some one who is
impartial, to look into its matters here, and if I can have a day
with you, I will convince you by the testimony of the best men
of all parties, that the stories detrimental to me are the inven-.ion of enemies, who seem determined to put me down if possible. But they haven't succeeded yet, and what's more, they
can't succeed. Things have come to a pretty pass when a man
can't carry on a more flourishing business than his neighbors,
without being set upon and slandered out of his life.





SMOKING ALLOWED.


79


"C I am summoned to-day to attend court, but if it is inconvenient for you to wait till my return, I shall run the risk of
being in time to-morrow, with my testimony, as this business is
of vital importance to me and mine, and must not be neglected,
come what may."
" It is very important," I replied, " and my advice is to
risk the displeasure of the Court, and ask some of your friends
to explain your non-appearance."
He concluded to follow my recommendation, and we walked
over to the post-office, and retired within its sanctum, where
we remained some time, combining pleasure with business, by
inhaling the vapor of as good cigars as the mercantile departlment could furnish, while examining the post-office books, and
the post master's general arrangements, and discussing various
matters relative thereto.
My chief object was, if possible, to get a sight of the contents of the boxes where the two "C decoys" should be if they
had been mistaken for local letters, and placed in the 1" general
delivery." The one enclosing the bank-notes and specie would
come under the initial B., and this box contained quite a number of letters which I thought it unsafe to examine particularly.
While I was endeavoring to devise some plausible mode of
getting a satisfactory view of them, some one fortunately entered
the store and inquired if there were any letters for John Barstow. All the B's were at once taken down by the post master,
thus giving me exactly the opportunity I wanted of observing
each letter, as he was running them over. The last one was
reached, but the mis-sent document did not appear; so one
important requisite for proving his innocence seemed entirely
cut off.
Soon after, we started out to call on some of the ' first
citizens," as he termed them, but I readily discovered that the
select few to whom I was being introduced, although evidently
sincere in the opinions they expressed, were a little biassed in
his favor by one motive and another; and that they were quite
as likely to be deceived as those whose interests, perhaps,





80


8   DEAD HEAD"' CLIENTS.


fully as much as their regard for a faithful administration of
the post-office, had led them to scrutinize more closely the
conduct and principles of our injured friend.
Among those of his backers on whom we called, was a
lawyer of some note in that region, who had recently received
a nomination for Congress from one of the leading political
parties. On our way to this gentleman's office, the post master,
as my readers will easily suppose, took care to inform me
thoroughly respecting these important particulars. Squire W.
was evidently a tower of strength to him, and he spared no
pains to impress upon me the great truth, that whomsoever the
Squire thought"fit to endorse, possessed irrefragable evidence
of an   immaculate character. We fortunately found       the
would-be future M. C. in his office, no other person being
present than a law student, also a warm friend to my companion, who quickly withdrew, owing probably to some silent
intimation from one or the other of the gentlemen present,
that his room was, for the time being, better than his company.
This was not, by the way, the post master's first visit here
to-day, for he had stopped in as we were passing in the morning, leaving me a moment for that purpose, on which occasion
he doubtless suggested our visit, and the importance to him
of a pretty strong backing.
He appeared immensely delighted to think that he had
been able to bring me, a "green" Agent, upon whom        his
character with the Department depended, into contact with
one whose assurances were to dispel all the clouds that lowered
about his head, and reveal him to the community with the
double effulgence of injured innocence and undimmed integrity. This pleasing prospect seemed to beget an exuberance
of spirits which rather astonished his friend, the Squire, as I
judged by the occasional expression of his countenance.
"Now, Squire," said the post master, slapping him gently
on the back in a persuasive manner, "I want you to tell this
gentleman just what you think about the opposition made to
me in this village. You know we have always been opposed





SCENE IN A LAW OFFICE.


81


in politics, and of course you are entirely disinterested in the
matter. All you want is to have the office here well managed.
You have heard all about the charges that some of my rascally
enemies have made against me, and I believe I told you the
other day, that they had sent complaints on to Washington.
We'll see how their slanders turn out when the Agent here
gets through with investigating the matter. All I want is the
truth."
"Yes, yes, I see," said the Squire, clearing for action, by
putting an extra stick into the stove, and materially lessening
the contents of a good-sized snuff-box that stood upon the
table.  " It's just as my friend B. says, Mr. II," continued he; "we've always belonged to different parties in
politics, and are connected with different religious societies,in fact, we don't seem to agree on anything of that sort. But
I never mean to allow such things to affect my estimate of a
man's character, and I hope I shall always be ready to do any
one justice, however he may differ from me in opinion.
"The case, Sir, stands thus: Here is a young man fortunate
enough to be possessed of more industry and enterprise than
some of his neighbors, and accordingly succeeds in business
better than they do. Their envy is excited, he incurs their
ill-will, and they attempt by slander to ruin his character. I
don't think any of them would lose by exchanging characters
with him. No, Sir," (fortifying his position with another
pinch of snuff,) "all these charges are utterly without foundation, save in the brains of those who produced them,-a narrow
foundation enough, in all conscience, for anything.
I have, perhaps, as great an interest in the proper manage.
ment of the post-office here as any one, as I receive and send
through it probably more important correspondence than any
other man in town; but I have never had cause to complain,
and, so far as I know, everything has gone right."
Here a moment's pause followed, which the lawyer improved
by replenishing the stove and his facial promontory. The
post master cleared his throat, gave the Squire an approving





82


A FALSE CHARGE.


nod, and rocked back and forth upon the hind legs of his
chair, picking his teeth in a nonchalant way, apparently much
at his ease.
"By the way, Squire W.," he broke out, rather suddenly,
C' perhaps the gentleman would like to hear about that letter
that Marshall mailed here to go to New Haven, Ct., and which
was misdirected to New Haven, Vt."
I replied, that I should be happy to hear any statements
that would throw light on the subject in hand.
" Well," said the Squire, " there was a great handle made
of that affair. You see, this Marshall is a careless, absentminded genius, and he wrote a letter, into which he put fifty
dollars for his old mother in Connecticut, and it didn't get
there. Well, he came and consulted me about it, and wanted
me to sue B. here, for the money.
"'Why, Mr. W.,' said he, II'm confident that B. has got
it. People say he can't be trusted, and I believe it now.'
"'But see here, Marshall,' replied I, tthere are twenty
offices or more between this place and the one where you sent
your letter; and it is, to say the least, quite as likely to have
been purloined anywhere else as here. You had better wait a
few days, and I will make inquiries, and do what I can to find
out whether B. knows anything about it. If it should appear
at all probable that he does, I can assure you that I will not
hesitate to sue him.'
" So I put off matters for a little while, and before Marshall
got very urgent again, the lost letter turned up in the New
Haven, Vt., post-office; no one being to blame but the very
man who had made all the fuss! The enemies of our friend
here, who had all the time been chuckling to think they had
him on the hip, felt flat enough, I assure you, when the letter
came to light, for they would rather have paid over the fifty
dollars themselves, than to have lost this chance of confirming
their accusations against him."
This turn in the conversation gave me an excellent oppor




IMPORTANT ADMISSION.


83


tunity of trying the nerves, or the innocence of the post master,
without exciting his suspicions in the least; so I remarked,
" The New Haven, Vermont, post master must have been an
honest man, or this money letter might never have been seen
again; as no one would have thought of looking there for it,
and if they had, it wouldn't have been very easy to prove that
it ever went there."
Here I glanced at B., but his countenance betrayed no consciousness that my observation was designed to hit him, and
with an aspect of unruffled coolness, he proceeded to say,
" That New Haven case reminds me of something very similar,
which happened in this office only a day or two ago. A package of letters came here from Boston, which were intended
for a town in New York. By the way, Mr. Agent, I wish the
next time you are in the Rutland office you would request the
mailing clerks to be a little more particular in addressing their
wrappers, as our packages, both of letters and papers, frequently go astray, while those for other offices sometimes come
here. Surrounded, as I am, by so many prying and faultfinding people, failures caused in this way are likely to be
seized upon to make me trouble."
x I replied, that I would try to bear his request in mind,
being all the time well satisfied that it was a device adopted
to turn attention from the mis-sent package, to which he had
unguardedly referred, and to prevent further allusion to it,
which might awaken suspicion, and even betray guilt. He
was indeed treading on dangerous ground. His voluntary
admission, that a package similar to my decoy package had
been in his hands, and that he had noticed the name of the
place to which the letters were directed, was all that was
wanting to confirm my belief that they had been purloined,
since I already knew that they had not been forwarded from
his office.
After our worthy legal friend had exhausted every illustration, and brought to view every fact at his command, corroborating his very high estimate of the post master's character,





84


EMPLOYING THE WIRES.


both personal and official, and had given the " enemies" the
extremely low and degraded position which they, as maligners
of spotless worth, and conspirators against tried honesty, ought
justly to assume,-in short, after he had said, if not done, all
that even the object of his advocacy could have desired, I
proposed an adjournment for dinner, more for the sake of securing in that way an opportunity of telegraphing for the
United States Marshal, than for administering to the wants of
the inner man. The victim of calumny and myself separated
at the door of the Squire's office, agreeing to meet again soon
after dinner; and while he was dispatching his meal, I was
dispatching a telegraphic message, which ran thus:"--, Esq., U. S. Marshal:
"' Come here by first train. I will join you at the depot, and explain
business."
Just as I had left the telegraph office, I was addressed in a
very private and mysterious manner by a substantial-looking
citizen, whom I had before observed eyeing me very closely.
He wished to know whether I was the United States Mail
Agent.
I informed him that such was the title of my office.
" Then I want an opportunity for some conversation with
you about this business of the post office. I suppose you are
here to examine into this affair, and are willing to hear both
sides. There are some things in connection with the matter,
which I think you ought to know."
" I was just going to the hotel for my dinner," said I.
"Government officers must eat, you know, as well as other
people, and for a while after dinner I shall be engaged; but
if what you have to communicate is of importance, I will endeavor to confer with you before I leave town."
" I hope you will; and allow me one word now. I understand that you have been closeted with Squire W., and I want
you to know something about his position in this matter.
Everybody allows him to be an honest and a sincere man, but





SMOKED OUT.


85


the fact is, he has been very active in effecting the removal
of the site of the post-office from the other side of the river to
its present location, and could hardly be called a disinterested
witness in such an investigation as you no doubt intend to give
the subject."
How far this dig at the Squire was just, I could not then
certainly know; but a glance at his law dispensary and the
post-office, distant from each other only a few rods, both being
a good quarter of a mile from the old post-office site, gave some
plausibility to the intimation that the Squire's interest and
love for justice, happened in this instance, to run in the same
direction.
My presence in the village had become pretty generally
known, as appeared by various unmistakable indications, particularly some not very flattering remarks which I overheard
at the dinner-table, such as "a one-sided affair," " consulting
interested persons," 4" don't know how he expects to find out
the truth," and the like; all of which I pretended neither to
hear nor to notice. It was very evident that our man of letters
hadn't many friends in that house, for those of its inmates and
frequenters who were not in some way influenced by rival
interests, were no doubt more or less disaffected by the removal
of the post office from that immediate neighborhood.
As I was one of the last to leave the table, the usual cloud
of tobacco smoke had taken possession of the bar-room, and
was enveloping its occupants in an atmosphere
"Darkly, deeply, beautifully blue,"
when I entered the apartment devoted to the production of
this mollifying vapor. The narcotic herb seemed to have lost
its ordinary soothing power, for the company then and there
present bestowed upon me glances cool and scrutinizing
enough to dispel effectually any inclination I might have had
for indulging a short time in the delights of social intercourse.
So I seized my overcoat, and passed out; and this movement
8





86


A SAUCY LANDLORD.


was the signal for a spasmodic giggle by the entire assemblage,
in which the landlord joined, as I supposed, for I distinctly
recognised his grum voice just as I closed the door, uttering, in
a contemptuous tone, the following remark, " I guess the Agent
don't like tobacco smoke!"
I was little disturbed, however, by these and sundry other
indications that I was not establishing a reputation for impartiality and shrewdness with a majority of the citizens. If I
were to listen to all they might be ready to tell me, I should
be spending valuable time to no sort of purpose, for the proofs
of the post master's delinquency which I had thus far obtained
were derived, not from them, but from himself, and it was
in that direction only that I could reasonably expect to
obtain conclusive evidence of his guilt, for all the accusations
which his enemies had sent to the Department had been supported by nothing better than the opinions of those who made
them.
If I failed in securing what I expected from the course I
was pursuing, it would then be time to see what other proof
could be procured from different quarters; and until the result
of my investigations should be known, I was content to rest
under the cloud of misapprehension which appeared to be
gathering about me, knowing that thus I could best serve the
interests of justice, and that time would set me right with
those who were now disposed to look on me as one whose mind
had been predccupied by the artful tales of the post master
and his friends.
I must confess that I was somewhat amused to think what
a complete metamorphosis my character would undergo in the
eyes of almost every member of this little community, when
the truth should come to light. I had sufficient confidence in
the uprightness and candor of the Squire, to believe that he
would readily acquit me of trifling, in the course I had pursued with him, and that he would acquiesce in the adoption
of whatever measures the public interest might seem to have





THE SUPPOSED TRIUMPH.


87


required. Nor was I in this instance the victim of misplaced
confidence, as will hereafter appear.
The post master and myself soon met again at the post-office,
when cigars for two were produced, and as we sat smoking
them, I could not avoid a feeling of melancholy, at seeing him
apparently so cheerful and happy, and sincerely regretted the
necessity that compelled me to persist sternly in a course which
would assuredly end in the blight of his hopes and the ruin
of his character.
He was evidently certain of having fully established his
innocence, and of having inspired me with some of the contempt for his persecutors which he felt himself. " We have
met the enemy, and they are ours," seemed to be the language
of his looks and actions, if not of his lips. The sky over his
head appeared bright; the clouds, to his eyes, had dispersed;
and he dreamed not that the roar of the next railroad train
would be to him like the peal of thunder which accompanies
the lightning's quick and deadly bolt. Yet I consoled myself
with the reflection that my motives were such as should actuate
every public officer in the discharge of his duty, and that I
was not responsible for the consequences which might follow
the carrying out of plans judiciously devised for this end,-an
end which, in an important case like this, fully justified the
means.
This train of thought was interrupted by the post master,
who rather abruptly asked,
" Well, Mr. H., I suppose you have satisfied yourself about
this affair; and, if it isn't asking too much, I should be glad
to know what sort of report you are going to make to the
Department?"
I was unprepared for this, and I confess I was for a moment
nonplussed. But I evaded a direct answer, by relating what
I haIj heard and seen at the hotel, and how displeased they all
were with me for not giving them a chance to be heard in the
course of my investigation. And wishing to divert his mind
still further from the troublesome point on which he had





88


ARRIVAL OF THE MARSIAL.


touched, I ventured upon a few remarks about the painful and
often disagreeable duties of a Special Agent, introducing, by
way of embellishment, an anecdote of Post Master General
Collamer.
In the course of a conversation between that officer and one
of the western Special Agents, the matter of an increase of
salary, among other things, was briefly discussed. Says the
Agent,
"You know, Sir, that many times we are called upon to do
things which can hardly be made to square with the code of
honor; and in fact, we sometimes have to resort to downright
duplicity and deception."
"Well, well," replied Judge Collamer, " I suppose you find
yourself perfectly at home at that!"
This diversion answered the purpose, and nothing further
was said about my intended report. Just as I had fairly extricated myself from this ticklish position, a messenger from
the telegraph-office appeared, with a reply from the Marshal to
my dispatch, which response I managed to read without the
least suspicion of its nature on the part of the individual who
had such a momentous interest therein.
The contents of the dispatch were simply, "I will leave by
first train."
After having been introduced to a number of other swift
witnesses for our friend, who happened in at the post-office,
and holding some conversation with them on the all-absorbing
theme, the iron horse's shrill neigh announced the approach
of the train by which the Marshal was to arrive; and without
much ceremony I took my leave, to meet him at the depot,
promising to return again. He was the first man to alight on
the platform, and was soon made acquainted with the business
in hand. We thought it best that he should go directly to
my room at the hotel, where I was presently to join him, in
company with the post master; and ten minutes more found us
there, sitting around as pleasant a fire as ever irradiated and
comforted with its genial warmth, such a trio of officials. I





THE CRISIS.


89


had introduced the Marshal by his proper name and title, yet
the announcement produced no visible effect upon the unsuspecting post master. He seemed as cool and unembarrassed
as if he had been in the habit of forming the acquaintance
of United States officers every day. This rather astonished
me, as it did the Marshal, and he (the Marshal) favored me
with a glance and a slight motion of the head, which intimated
that, in his opinion, I had mistakegn my man.
I had set it down as a fixed fact, that the appearance and
introduction of the Marshal in his own character, Would at
once excite the apprehensions of the post master, and lead to
inquiries from him which would render it comparatively easy
for me to enter upon that decisive course of questioning and
examination which the present advanced state of the affair
required. But all my calculations were frustrated by this
unexpected move on the part of my antagonist, and I was left
in statu quo, so far as regarded any help I had hoped for from
him. In this condition of things, all that remained for me
was to make a bold push at once, and break the ice as speedily
as possible. So, turning to the post master, I thus addressed
him:
" Were you, Mr. B., at home, last Monday evening, when
the Boston mail arrived?"
"I was," replied he, after some hesitation.
"Did you open and assort the mail yourself on that occasion?"
"I did."
"And did you find a package of two letters, mailed at
Boston, and addressed to Rouse's Point?"
Here, for the first time, a change came over his countenance; and, after a moment's reflection, he answered very
firmly, that he did not recollect any such package.
1" One of the letters," continued I, ' contained twenty-five
dollars in bills, and fifty cents in specie, and the other contained
no money, and was addressed to a lady."
8*





90


THE ACCUSATION.


He listened attentively, and repeated that he did not see
any such letters as those I had described.
"Well, Sir," I observed, "we must now trouble you to
show us the money you have about you."
He readily complied with this requisition, by handing me
his pocket-book. It was well filled, but among a tolerably large
roll of bank-notes, none of those included in the decoy letter
appeared. His knowledge of the absence of these important
witnesses against him, easily accounted for his promptness in
submitting to the examination, and as he received the wallet
from me again, and returned it to his pocket, his air of assurance, which for the moment had been dimmed, reAppeared
in all its native lustre, and with an assumed expression of
wounded pride, he requested to know if he was to understand
that I suspected him of interfering improperly with the letters
I had been inquiring about. To this I answered,
"Yes, Sir; you are so to understand me; and further, that
I believe you have robbed and destroyed those letters!"
The Marshal was looking on all this while, evidently somewhat incredulous as to the justice of my accusations, for he
had long known by reputation the young man against whom
they were made, being an acquaintance of the family, and
always supposed him to be an enterprising, honest person.
Indeed, he told me afterwards, that he really thought, to use
his own expression, that I "had put my foot in it." In fact,
I began to think myself, that however certain B.'s guilt might
be, it was likely to prove more difficult than I had supposed,
to establish the fact legally.
One thing, however, remained,-to examine a quantity of
specie, which I knew he had in his pocket, as he had frequently exhibited it during the day in the way of making
change at his office. This also, amounting to some six or
eight dollars, was promptly produced at my request, and laid
on the table.
"Now," thought I, "the last card is dealt; let us see
whether it will turn up a trump."





THE FATAL " QUARTER."'


91


The evil spirit, which so enticingly leads people into scrapes,
and is so reluctant to get them out again, true to its fatal
instincts, had safely preserved the evidence of guilt in the
present case. A moment's inspection of the different coins,
brought to light one of the identical pieces which had been
placed in the missing letter! It was thus described in the
original memorandum to which I referred: "American quarter-dot over left wing of eagle; slightly filed on lower edge
under date, 18750."
"1 Here is one of the quarters," said I, holding it up, " that
was in the Rouse's Point letter,-marked and described in my
memorandum, so that I could swear to it anywhere."
"'Well, Mr. H.," said the post master, "I suppose this
circumstance appears to you very strongly against me, and
perhaps it is. But I should like a few moments' private conversation with you, if you have no objection."
Agreeably to this hint, the Marshal retired; but the post
master remained silent for a while, resting his chin on his
hand, and gazing into the fire with a countenance overshadowed
by dejection and discouragement. The gloom on his features
grew deeper and deeper, but at last he roused himself, and
looked me full in the face, saying, in almost despairing tones,
"( Can anything be done to save me? Oh, Mr. H., for
heaven's sake, put yourself in my place for a moment! Think
what it is to fight as I have fought for years, to defend my
reputation against enemies who wanted to pull me down, and
build themselves up on my ruins; and after holding my ground
so long, to be blown to pieces, as it were in an instant! How
they'll all exult! There's old P.; I can see just how he'll
look, shaking his old fox head. 'Ah, I knew something was
rotten all the time!'
"I What can you do to get me out of this trouble? I can't
have it so; I must have something done to save me from becoming the laughing-stock of my enemies."
" But," said I, "your enemies, as you call them, could have





92


SERVING THE PROCESS.


done you no harm, if you had not supplied them with weapons
yourself."
" That may be," replied he, mournfully, " but I assure you
that this is my first offence. I had never dreamed of meddling
with letters till this Rouse's Point package came in my way;
but it didn't seem as if it could ever be discovered, so the
temptation was too much for me."
(It is a curious fact, by the way, that almost all the cases
of post office robbery we meet with are "first offences;" even
those whose boldness indicates some little previous experience
in such things.)
"What," inquired I, "did you do Vith the bills that were
in the letter?"
" I sent them away," replied he, " the same day that I took
them. Now, I've told you frankly all about the affair, and I
hope you will contrive some way to save me from disgrace and
ruin. Couldn't the business stop here, if I refund what I
have taken, and resign my office as post master?  I should be
willing to do more than that, if it should be necessary."
I assured him that I had no power to make any such
arrangement, and that I must leave the matter with the Marshal, who I supposed would be under the necessity of serving
the process.
Thus speaking, I stepped to the door, and called that gentleman into the room, who proceeded forthwith to read the
warrant issued against B. During the reading of that instrument, a sudden change came over the countenance of the
unfortunate post master. He turned pale, and would have
fallen, had I not prevented him. The Marshal and I assisted
him to a bed that stood in the room, where he lay for a long
time, prostrate in body and mind.
As I stood over him, attempting to revive him by the use
of such means as were at hand, I thought how great must
have been the shock which had so overpowered his faculties.
His strength of body, and pride of soul, were, for the time,
laid low. What a pity that he had not possessed the right





THE WIFE.


93


kind of pride; not merely the ambition to rise above the
machinations of his enemies, and put them under his feet, but
the pride that despises a mean action, and dreads a crime more
than its consequences. Such a feeling would have been a
safeguard; but I was sorry to observe that, while he was confessing his guilt, the thought of his enemies' triumph over
him was uppermost in his mind.
He had now somewhat revived, and wishing to calm his
exasperated feelings, (which I supposed were in some measure
the cause of his present condition,) by turning his thoughts
to another channel, I inquired of the Marshal, in a rather low
tone, whether he had any family.
" He has a wife, I believe," was the reply, and in a moment
B. was saying to himself, his eyes still shut,
" Jane, Jane, what will you think?  Don't despise me, if
you, can help it."
He went on for some little time in this strain, displaying a
high regard for his wife's affection and good opinion, and an
apprehension that he might have forfeited them by his misconduct; an apprehension utterly groundless-so far, at least,
as regarded affection, for the undying flame of love in a true
woman's heart cannot so be quenched.
Mrs. B., as I afterwards learned, was a most estimable
woman, whose influence had doubtless been of great benefit to
her husband. Alas! that the power of his good angel could
not have triumphed over the temptation to which he yielded!
When he had recovered sufficiently to walk about, the Marshal took him in charge, and conveyed him to a neighboring
town, where the United States District Judge resided, for
examination. His friends, who were highly respectable, were
informed by telegraph of his arrest, and gave the required
bail for his appearanice at trial.
Thus we have traced out an important part of the career
of one whose character was laid low, not by his enemies, but
by his own hand. And whenever I pass through the pleasant
town which was the scene of these transactions, a shade of





94


SAD REFLECTIONS.


melancholy comes over me, entirely at variance with the general cheerful appearance both of the place and the surrounding
landscape.
On one of the last occasions that I was in that vicinity, the
train on which I was traveling stopped for a few moments at
this station. It was a delightful summer's day, and if the
objects which met my eye, as I gazed up and down the street,
had not been, many of them, monuments to me of a melancholy history, I should have thought that the place yielded in
beauty to few of the villages which adorn New England. But
a stranger occupied the store where the unfortunate B. maintained the contest with his rivals; the post office was in other
hands; and I was just turning away from a scene that suggested nothing but unpleasant reminiscences, when Squire W.
emerged from the station-house, and cordially addressed me.
This was the first time I had seen him, since our memorable
interview in his office.
"( Good morning, Mr. H."' said he; "how is the roguecatching business now?   I suppose you have disposed of a
good many since you despatched B. so summarily. When I
first heard of his arrest, feeling sure of his innocence as I did,
I don't know that I should have been much surprised if you
bad come after me next; and I felt a little sore, to tell you
the truth, to think that my endorsement of him had so little
weight with you. But I have since seen that you were perfectly right about it, though I am sorry that poor B. should
have turned out so badly."
Here the iron horse began to manifest indications of impatience, and shaking hands with the worthy Squire, we went
our several ways.





CHAPTER IV.


High Crimes in low Places-Honest Baggage-masters-Suspicious
Circumstances-Watching the Suspected-Shunning the DustHonesty Triumphant-An Episode-Unexpected Confession-The
Night Clerks-Conformity to Circumstances-Pat the PorterAbsents himself-Physician consulted-The Dead Child-Hunting
Excursions-" No Go"-Pat explains his Absence-His Discharge-The Grave-stones-Stolen Money appears-The Jolly
Undertakers-Pat at the Grave-More Hunting-Firing a SaluteRemoving the Deposits-Crossing the Ferry-Scene at the Post
Office-Trip to Brooklyn-Recovery of Money-Escape-Encounter
with a Policeman-Searching a Steamer-Waking the wrong Passenger-Accomplices detained-Luxuries cut off-False Imprisonment Suit-Michael on the Stand-Case dismissed.
PUBLIC confidence in the United States Mail, and in the
integrity of those connected therewith, never perhaps received
a severer shock than that which it suffered from the extensive
robberies committed in the Summer and Fall of 1853, by Pat
R., at that time a night porter in the New York Post Office.
The range of his ambition was by no means commensurate with
his humble station in life and the post office, and his menial
occupation did not repress aspirations which could render him
a fit rival to such men as Swartwout and Schuyler, both by the
extent of his schemes of villany, and the success with which
they were carried on.
(95)





96


HIGH CRIMES IN LOW PLACES.


He was no petty thief, content with doing a small but comparatively safe business at filching, or at least, satisfied to begin
with the " day of small things;" but he had hardly taken the
oath of office before its strength was tested, and it proved no
greater restraint to him than a spider's thread to a wild buffalo. He at once plunged into the tempting field which lay
before him, and grasped with a greedy clutch at every opportunity to enlarge his increasing store of ill-gotten wealth. He
would sometimes add thousands to his hoard in a single night,
and carried on these bold depredations for some time unsuspected, not because he was above suspicion, but because he was
below it.
In other words, after these robberies had been pretty satisfactorily traced to the New York office, it was necessary to establish the innocence, so far as these losses were concerned,
of a large number of clerks, before suspicion fairly rested on
the guilty party.   Thus, when the investigation was commenced, he was buried up, so to speak, beneath so many protecting layers, all of which were removed before he came to
light. I will not attempt to give any idea of the quantity of
labor necessary in this and similar preliminary investigations.
Some of the numerous complaints made to the Department
and the post master of New York, involved large sums of
money. Among them was a package of $2000 in bank-notes,
mailed at Middletown, Conn., for Philadelphia, Penn.    Another of $1800 from Bridgeport, Conn., to Zanesville, Ohio.
Still another of $1400 from Joliet, Ill., to New York, and
many other smaller sums, from $50 to $1000; also drafts,
notes, checks, &c., to an enormous amount in the aggregate.
None of these valuable remittances had been seen by any persons properly interested in them, after they had passed out of
the hands of the senders.
Doubtless to those unacquainted with such matters, it may
not prove much for the efficiency of the Special Agent to state
that the thefts were occasionally repeated even after he had
entered upon this investig-tion. But the Agent employed in





HONEST BAGGAGE-MASTERS.


97


this instance always preferred to catch the rogue, rather than
frighten him, thereby leaving innocent parties under the ban
of suspicion, as well as destroying all chances for the recovery
of the property already stolen. And the benefits and propriety of that course were fully realized in the result of the
important case under consideration.
As "' it is the last straw which breaks the camel's back," so
it is often the stealing of the last letter which aids in bringing
to light the depredator of former ones.
I propose here to relate some details, which may be interesting, of the means taken to "narrow down" and trace out
those extensive robberies, not so much on account of anything
novel or original, adopted at this or any other stage of the
investigation, as to demonstrate the value of a character that
is proof against trying temptation; and the dangerous position
of those who are not at all times thus fortified, although they
may be innocent of the particular offences charged.
With but few exceptions, the mails in which the missing
letters and money packages should have been conveyed to New
York, would have come from the East by the express night
trains, over the Boston and New York Railroad. Upon those
trains, the mails were in charge of the baggage-masters, the
regular mail or 1" route agents" being confined to the way
mail-trains running at different hours of the day. A variety
of circumstances, besides their good reputation, conspired to
avert suspicion from these baggage-men. The mails were in
", through bags," and it required a mail-key to obtain access to
their contents; and besides, the robberies could not well be
perpetrated in that way without collusion between several persons,-the express agents, and the conductors, all reliable men,
having occasion often to visit the baggage car, which was
always well lighted.
Accompanying the night express trains there were also
"through baggage-masters," so called. Their duty was performed by two persons, one of whom left Boston and the other
New York on each evening.
9





98


SUSPICIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES.


On privately consulting the officers of the railroad company
as to the running of these men, it appeared that about all the
losses had happened on the nights of one of them: a discovery
which, as had been shown by experience in similar cases, was
by no means conclusive, and yet of too much importance to be
overlooked.
The individual thus involved knew me well, and it required
no little manoeuvring to get over the route as often as was
necessary, without being observed by him. One night when
thus endeavoring to avoid him, a very amusing incident occured.
The regular conductor soon after leaving Springfield, was
taken suddenly ill, and procured the services of this identical
baggage-master for a short distance, unknown of course to me.
I was sitting curled up in the corner of the saloon of the first
passenger car, when the door opened and the well known call
of "Tickets, gentlemen," apprised me that he had found me
out before I had recognised him, or at least had discovered
that I was "aboard." But I made the best of it, simply remarking that there was the least dust there of any spot on the
train.
Up to this time my ground of suspicion was mainly confined
to the coincidence already mentioned between the dates of
losses, and his presence on the cars.  The investigation had
not proceeded far, however, when another matter came to light,
which increased suspicion in that quarter.
A citizen of New York called on me and stated that recently,
just as the night train was starting from the depot in Canal
Street, he handed this same baggage-master a letter containing
money, which he asked him to take charge of, not having time
to carry it to the post-office.  He at first declined, on the
ground that the conveyance of letters out of the mail was illegal, but finally proposed to receive it, and, if possible, to get it
into the proper bag through one of the small openings between
the staples. This was the last that was ever seen of the letter
by the sender or his correspondent. The former having called





HONESTY TRIUMPHANT.


99


on the baggage-master, had been told that the letter was
crowded into the right mail-bag, as promised; but the statement was not believed, and the circumstance happening in the
midst of other troubles on the same line, seemed to constitute
an important step in the progress of discovering the author of
all this mischief.
A very shrewd acquaintance of the man of trunks, in Boston, was confidentially employed to ascertain something of his
habits, and the state of his finances. After a fair and faithful
trial, he reported to me, that the aforesaid superintendent of
baggage was "as steady as a model deacon, and as poor as a
country editor within fifty miles by railroad, of a large city."
And that 1" although always ready, like many other clever fellows, to partake of the hospitality of his friends when strongly
urged, yet you might as well try to get a smile out of a dead
man without the use of a galvanic battery, as to induce him to
spend a dollar unnecessarily."
The justice of this report was speedily confirmed, and the
problem for the thousandth time satisfactorily worked out,
that suspicion never yet injured a really honest man, although
seemingly well founded in the outset.
Connected with the mailing of one of the large money packages already described, were circumstances which made it
necessary, as is often the fact in a series of robberies, to investigate it as an isolated case, unconnected with the theft of the
other packages and letters, none of which would go into or
pass through the office in which this one was deposited.
The statement of the cashier went to show that he took the
package to the post-office himself, and handed it to a clerk
who happened to be alone in the office, and but a short time
before the mail left for New York. This was confirmed by the
clerk's own statement, and by his entry in a book kept for the
registry of valuable letters and parcels. About the habits of
this clerk, and his manner when examined, there was nothing
which appeared in the least to implicate him. The cashier
thought it out of the question that anything could be wrong





100


UNEXPECTED CONFESSION.


there. The young clerk was a member of his sabbath-school
class, from which he was never absent, and he believed him to
be "all right."
And yet he had an excellent opportunity to have kept back
the package, and the temptation would indeed have been a
dangerous one to older and more strongly fortified persons than
he was. I determined, therefore, to put him to the test of a
direct charge of having purloined the package, which I lost
no time in doing, intimating that a confession and restoration
of the money was his first duty. But he met the charge fearlessly, and firmly asserted his innocence as to the important
remittance in question.   The faithful monitor within, how.
ever, would not let him rest there. Believing, probably, that
I knew more about other transactions of his than the one I had
accused him of, he addressed me as follows:" I mailed that bank package, and know that it left our office. What could I have done with so much money, if I had
been bad enough to have taken it?      And I was just bad
enough! I am willing to tell you all I have done, and will
very gladly restore the ill-gotten funds, for they have made me
miserable."
I will omit the details of this unexpected confession, but
the first case owned was the $40 letter that had been handed
to the through baggage-master, to be crammed into the locked
mail-pouch, the failure of which letter, as has been already
shown, had given so much force to suspicions against him!
By way of corroborating this part of his admissions, at my
request, he described the address of the letter, the kind of
money it contained, and to complete the identity, he mentioned
that it came there loose in the mail-bag.
This discovery relieved the baggage-man amazingly, and at
the same time aided me in deciding at what point the heavy
losses had occurred; for if the large package started from this
office, and was not disturbed on the cars, it must have been
stolen in the New York or Philadelphia office, where it was
destined.





THE NIGHT CLERKS.


101


Another fact transpired about this time, which assisted still
further in locating these alarming robberies. Among them
was one of a letter mailed by the cashier of a bank in Vermont, for an office in one of the Western States, and enclosing
a quantity of the notes of that bank. The bills had peculiar
marks upon them. They all found their way back to the bank
through the usual channel of redemption, within a week of
the time they were mailed; hence, of course, the letter could
not have gone beyond New York. Besides, it was sent to that
office for distribution, and the post bill was on file-there, and
described this identical letter, by its unusual rate, and as being
prepaid by stamps. In all the other cases, the post bills were
not to be found, either in New York or other distant post
offices, and they must have been taken with the packages
themselves.
The fact that the night mails had suffered chiefly, warranted me now in confining the investigation principally to the
night clerks. They were generally a worthy and reliable class
of gentlemen, some of them having held this responsible station for many years.    In the inquiries and examinations
which I was obliged to make, I found some instances of conformity to circumstances and limited means, that would confer credit on any men, or any age.
But it will perhaps be said, that cunning men may be dishonest, and yet keep their ill-gotten gains out of sight; surrounding themselves with the appearances of frugality and
even poverty. This may be so sometimes, temporarily, but it
is nevertheless a fact that rogues steal money to spend it, and
for the comfort and ease which they expect it will confer,
which expectation, however, never is realized. For it is the
universal rule that money, or any other property not honestly
obtained, "bites like a serpent, and stings like an adder;" and
realizing the fabled vulture of Prometheus, unceasingly feeds
on the undying life of him who steals, not fire from heaven,
but a baser thing from earth.
The sad experience of thousands who have thought them.
9*





102


FEIGNED SICKNESS.


selves cunning enough to cope with the shrewdest officers of
justice, will show that however artful and ingenious may be
the devices adopted, there are ways enough to meet and expose them. Honesty is, therefore, not only the best policy,
but the only safe and impregnable barrier against suspicion,
detection, and misery.
Pat R. was appointed as a night porter, at the urgent solicitation of a prominent, and at that time, somewhat influential
citizen of the First Ward. He was recommended as a robust,
athletic man, just suited to the drudgery which somebody must
undertake in such an office, of attending to the lifting,
handling, and removing of heavy mails. In that capacity it
was not expected that he would discharge any of the more
responsible duties of a regular clerk, such as making up and
assorting mail-matter; but the labor of the office accumulating, he gradually added to his nightly employments that of
"facing up" the contents of the midnight mails, after they
had been emptied out, and separating the letter from the newspaper packages. Had this last fact been furnished me at an
earlier date, by the head clerk of that department, this troublesome investigation would probably have been sooner brought to
a satisfactory termination. But, supposing from Pat's position
and legitimate duties, that he had not the requisite opportunities for committing depredations, he was about the last one to
be looked after. And when I did conclude to extend my particular attentions to him, I was somewhat startled by the discovery, from an examination of the " time register"-a book
in which each clerk is required to enter his name and the time
of his arrival at and departure from the office-that Pat had
not been on duty for nearly a week!      This was of course
known before to the then first clerk of that department, but
the sickness of the absentee, and the death of one of his children, which had been alleged as an excuse, (through another
porter,) seemed to be a plausible and satisfactory explanation.
But the Agent thought otherwise, under the circumstances,





HUNTING EXCURSIONS.


103


and deemed it best, at all events, to ascertain in a careful way
its truth or falsity.
By the aid of a reliable day clerk, who lived in Brooklyn,
in the neighborhood of Pat, I learned the name and general
standing of the physician whom he had employed. An interview with him, supposed on his part to be for the purpose of
ascertaining whether Pat was a man of strictly temperate
habits, and in all respects fit to be employed in a post office,
confirmed the part of his story relating to the child's death,
but disproved the rest of it, about his own illness.  But the
doctor went the whole figure in regard to Pat's good character
and fitness for any place which was not too intellectual. I
could see, however, that my referee cared more about keeping
a paying customer, (all professional charges, as he stated,
having been fully liquidated up to that date,) than for posting
me up in any matters that would jeopardize so good a situation, where all the monthly payments were in hard and legal
currency.
By this step I obtained the first tangible justification of my
suspicions against Pat. He had assigned, in part at least, a
false reason for his absence. At about the same time, I consulted one of the Brooklyn penny-posts, whose beat took in
Pat's residence, and who reported that he had on several occasions recently met him with a gun on his shoulder, apparently
starting on a hunting excursion.
He was very poor when he entered the office, and by way
of testing his ability to live without work, it was arranged with
an agent for procuring laborers for a Western railroad, to call
on him, and offer him a chance to go to Illinois as foreman of
a gang of hands.    But it was " no go."   His health was too
precarious for that.
Thus matters went on for some time longer, when one day,
very much to my surprise, Pat entered the post master's room,
and with a woe-begone look, and most melancholy tone of voice,
commenced apologizing for his apparent neglect of duty. I
was busily engaged in writing at the time, and so continued,





104


PAT EXPLAINS HIS ABSENCE.


hoping that he would not recognise me, as it afterwards
appeared he did not.
"Misther Fowler," says he, "I wish to spake to your honor
about meself. Ye see, sir, I've been unfortunate, and didn't
come to me task; and the cause is, sir, that I've been sick
meself with a terrible diarrhoee (placing his hand on his
abdominal region,) and what is more painful than that (still
keeping his hand in the same position, instead of changing
it to the region of the heart,) I have buried a darling boy,
your honor; and sure isn't it enough to turn the brain of
a poor divil? Ah, may the like on't niver happen to yourself,
sir 1"
And a big tear rolling down his cheek, attested the sincerity
of his grief.
A momentary fear that the post master might intimate something of our suspicions, was speedily relieved by his shrewdly
remarking that he was sorry for his (Pat's) misfortunes, and
that he had no fault to find, except that he ought to have sent
more particular word as to the cause of his detention.
Pat thanked his employer, and backing out of the room,
promised to be at his post that night.
"Well, what do you think of him?" inquired the post-.
master.
" I think," said I, " that if he is the robber, and can come
here and appear in that way, he is smarter than either of us.
But we shall see."
For the week following, but few of his movements were
unknown to me. His duties at night were very indifferently
performed, and the hours during the day usually improved by
the other night clerks for rest, were by him devoted to dissipation; so that, before half the night had passed, he would
often be found in some out of the way place, fast asleep.
His discharge (which he no doubt desired) was thought
best, in order to throw him upon his own resources, with the
hope of bringing to light some of the stolen funds, if they
were still in his hands. Much of the money, which amounted





PAT ON BROADWAY.


105


in all to some $8000, could be identified. The Middletown
package of $2000 consisted of small bills, put up in parcels
of $200 each; and upon every bill there was a mark by which
it could be readily known. Up to this time none of the money
contained in this package or the others, except that mentioned
as coming from Vermont, had found its way to the banks by
which it was issued.
One day, about noon, I observed Pat's giant-like form crossing Broadway, and for more than an hour I followed him
without his knowledge, until he brought up in a stonfe-cutter's
establishment. As I passed and repassed the door, I thought
I observed him paying over some bank-notes to the occupant.
After he had left, I stepped in, and was soon in possession of
three $5 notes of the Middletown (Ct.) Bank, with which he
had paid for the grave-stones of "his darling boy!"     The
bills were clearly a part of the $2000 Middletown package,
being of the same denomination, and exhibiting the same
unmistakable marks.
This accidental meeting, at once supplying a key to the
mystery, was one of those misfortunes that so often befall
criminals at some point of their guilty career, and even when
they imagine themselves perfectly successful, and permanently
secure against the possibility of detection.
I must here tell the reader a secret, explanatory of a question that naturally arises, namely, why, with such overwhelming proof in my possession, an arrest was not at once made.
It was simply because he would have gone clear before any
tribunal, had I depended on the case as it then stood. The
bills of the $2000 package were all marked as stated, but
unfortunately a large amount, with precisely the same peculiarities, was in circulation at this very time, though not supposed to be in that vicinity. Had the arrest taken place then,
and the cashier been summoned to testify on the point of
identity, he would have said that he put such bills into the
Philadelphia package, but could not have sworn that they
were some of the identical notes.





106


THE JOLLY UNDERTAKERS.


Besides, it was no unimportant part of this difficult business, to effect a return of the funds, as far as possible, to the
pockets of the victims of these robberies.
The scarcity of live game in any direction within several
miles of Brooklyn, and Pat's supposed want of experience in
the use of the "shooting iron," suggested the possibility that
his frequent excursions to a neighboring wood had some other
object than hunting. Possibly it might be the guarding of
his hidden treasures.
Therefore, on a bright October morning, I concluded, if
possible, to know more upon this point, and, disguised in the
garb of a shabby-looking hunter, with a gun and dog borrowed
of a friend for the occasion, I strolled off in the direction in
which Pat had so often been in the habit of going. Before
fairly reaching the woods, he and two of his companions
passed me in a rough-looking vehicle, and soon after turned
from the main road into the burial-ground. From a somewhat
secluded spot, I could watch their movements tolerably well,
and it soon became apparent that at least one of the objects
of this trip was to place the marble stones-the payment for
which had so singularly betrayed him-at the grave of his
deceased child.
The whole party were evidently under the effects of the
C" critter;" and the prospect seemed to be, that they would
soon have occasion to mourn the departure of other beloved
spirits, for the jug circulated freely, and a more jolly set of
fellows, considering the lugubrious nature of their errand, is
seldom met with.
But when they arrived at the spot where the child was
sleeping, their mirth grew less boisterous, and Pat in silence
commenced his labor of love; and as he proceeded in his
melancholy task, I could see that he refused to join his companions in further potations, for although their respect for the
place, or for their friend's affliction, seemed to overcome for
the time their rum-inspired loquacity, they did not cease
to resort to the jug for strength to enable them to bear his





hll










PAT AT THE GRAVE.


107


grief, while sitting in the cart waiting for the completion of
the task which brought them there.
At length the little white stones stood in their places, showing, by the short distance between them, how brief was the
passage from the cradle to the grave, of the being whose
whole history, so far as concerned the world at large, was
inscribed on these marble pages.
A  parent's heart, however, bears a different record; and
after Pat had adjusted the turf about the little grave, and
given the finishing touches to his work, he stood and gazed
for a moment upon the resting place of his child, thinkingof what?  Perhaps of the contrast between the guilty living
and the innocent dead. Perhaps a flash from conscience
glanced across his mind. At least he exhibited some external
signs of emotion, for as he turned away to join his unconcerned companions, he brushed away a tear, and with it, perhaps, the softening influences that were at work upon his
heart.
The trio once more seated in the vehicle, Pat no longer refused the fluid consolation that his companions proffered him.
They by turns levelled the jug at the heavens, taking observations with the mouth rather than with the eyes, and as the
last memberof this astronomical corps elevated the instrument,
its near approach to the perpendicular showed that a vacuum
was well nigh formed within its recesses. What discoveries
they made, except "seeing stars" in general, I cannot say, for
they immediately turned their course towards home.
This was the last that I saw of Pat that day, but the next
time he started on his accustomed tramp, two days after, he
had at least one attentive spectator of his rifle exercise; and
although I failed on this occasion to discover the precise place
of his deposits, owing to my fear of alarming him, the opinion
was strengthened by what I saw, that they were still resting
quietly within a thick piece of woods, embracing some three
or four acres, where he spent several hours that day. During
this time, I was not more than a quarter of a mile from him,





108


FIRING A SALUTE.


yet not a single report of his gun did I hear. Presuming
that he had seen me at a distance, I now and then let off a
charge innocent of lead, and occasionally betrayed the dog
into a tolerably ferocious bark, by making him "speak" for a
small cigar case which, held at a respectful distance from the
animal, might easily have been mistaken by him for a wellcooked morsel of meat. This stratagem I thought necessary
to carry out the idea of a busy and enthusiastic huntsman.
But this little essay at hunting yielded me no game of bipeds,
feathered or otherwise.Soon after this, a rumor that several of his neighbors were
preparing for a removal to the West, led me to fear that Pat
also might have similar intentions, and that on the occasion of
his last visit to the woods, he might, after all, have withdrawn
the deposits. It was therefore deemed unsafe to delay longer
in bringing matters to a crisis. But the manner of doing this,
and of conducting the arrest, so as to accumulate evidence of
his guilt, and at the same time recover a part or the whole of
the funds, was worthy of much caution and study. If I
went with an officer directly to his house to make the arrest,
he might be absent at the time, and, getting notice of our visit,
effect his escape. His family or accomplices, if he had any,
would of course be aware of our movements, and perhaps
secure the spoils, unless they were secreted immediately upon
the premises. Then I should be left with only the proof
already mentioned: that he had had an opportunity of purloining the $2000 package, and had passed three bills supposed
to have been contained therein; together with some other less
important circumstances.
The only safe and discreet course seemed to be to secure
him when alone, and by that means keep his family ignorant
respecting his arrest, until every effort had been made to get
possession of the money. Accordingly I procured the aid of
an officer, and at an early hour in the morning, we took up our
quarters in a private dwelling in the neighborhood, where we





CROSSING THE FERRY.


109


could overlook Pat's house, and patiently waited for him to
make his appearance.
It happened to be one of his lazy mornings, and he did not
venture out until near ten o'clock, and then, very much to our
disappointment, in company with another individual, unknown
to either of us. A moment's consultation resulted in the decision to follow them at some distance, in the hope that they
might separate, but with the determination not to lose sight
of Pat again, and to take him into custody that day at all
hazards. We had not gone far, however, before he looked
over his shoulder, and although at least two squares from us,
and a number of other persons were passing and repassing at
the time, he no doubt recognised the officer, for after proceeding but a few steps further, he and his friend turned and
came toward us.
Believing that we were discovered, and that Pat was making
for the house to look after the safety of the treasures, a stratagem was hastily arranged to throw him off his guard, and at
the same time to separate him from the stranger, who was so
much in our way. It matters little what this scheme was,
provided there were no actual misrepresentations involved.
Suffice it to say, it was quite successful, and his companion
resuming his walk towards Brooklyn City Hall, the rest of the
party were soon on their way to New York.
At the ferry, and while waiting for the boat, Pat suddenly
became quite restless, as if he had for the first time connected
me with the scene in the post master's room. He walked
back and forth upon the dock, and several times halted and
leaned on the railing directly over the water, with one hand
in his breeches' pocket, as if he contemplated throwing something overboard. But I remained closely at his side, wherever
he went, and kept him engaged as much as possible, in remarks about the weather, the growth of Brooklyn, and other
common-place matters.
We had soon crossed the ferry, and were seated in an omnibus, moving slowly (who ever went in any other way by that
10





110


SCENE AT THE POST-OFFICE.


conveyance?) up Broadway. Pat had by this time grown very
taciturn, and no doubt began to suspect that his escort was not
entirely prepared to fight for his personal liberty. In fact, he
must have fully decided in his own mind that we were no very
consistent friends of the "largest liberty," in his case at least,
when one of us pulled the leather strap, to give the usual
signal for a halt. This was just as we had reached the head
of Cedar street, on which the post office is situated, and before
we had arrived, by several blocks, at the place where he at
first supposed he was going to call, for a much more agreeable
purpose than that of being confronted with the charge of
extensive mail robbery.
As he alighted from    the "slow coach," he halted for a
moment, as if inclined to have some better understanding
before proceeding further, especially as we turned our faces in
the direction of the post office. He possessed physical strength
enough to have put an end to our troubling him any further,
but Broadway at midday is no very favorable place for such an
attempt; and besides, he no doubt hoped that all might yet
come out right. After being told that he was wanted at the
post office on some private business, he went there peaceably.
Once alone with him in a private room, the time had
fully arrived for deciding-not as to his guilt, for of that I
was fully satisfied-but what were the chances of proving it,
and of inducing him to disgorge his plunder.
" Patrick," said I, " you are detected in your robberies of
the night mails in this office, and the first question I wish you
to answer is, can you restore the money, that it may be returned to those you have robbed."
He received the accusation with a look of surprise, but
without any manifest trepidation.
"I am an honest man, thank God," he asseverated, "and
I'll defy all ye can do to me; and it's nither ye nor the divil
that can scare me, so it ain't," at the same time drawing himself up into an attitude of defiance.
"I don't wish to scare you, Pat," I remarked. " I am





BETRAYED BY A HAT.


111


sorry on account of your family that you should have so
abused your trust while employed in this office. But that is
neither here nor there. I want you to hand over the seven or
eight thousand dollars you have got so wrongfully. You
passed some of the $2000, from the Middletown package, to
Mr. G-., for the grave-stones, you know, and I have the bills
in my pocket."
"And it's trouble enough that I've had," he replied, "with
the sickness of meself, and the death of little Pat, and now
ye'd have me father all the thievish tricks of the whole office,
would ye? Ye'll find, if ye look sharp, that it's another that's
got the letters ye speak of; for sure haven't I seen him, while
'facing up,' throw something under the counter, among the
waste paper, and then go looking there agin, after his task
was done?    And wasn't they large, thick parcels that he
dumped under the table?"
I have never had a doubt that he was then describing the
exact process by which he committed his own depredations.
"Very well," I answered, "you will soon see who is answerable;" and calling the officer, who had remained outside the
door during the conversation, Pat was notified that his person
must undergo a thorough search-and it was thorough.
Among the contents of his wallet were some forty dollars
that agreed very well with the description of the kind of
money mailed at Joliet, and also the receipt for the aforesaid
grave-stones. On examining his hat, which he had taken off
on first entering the office, and placed at some distance, on the
top of a secretary, there appeared, snugly stowed away under
the leather lining, $165, all in fives of the Middletown Bank,
with the well-known marks on each bill! But even this discovery produced but little impression on him; declaring, as he
did very promptly, that he could show where he obtained that
money; and no doubt he could!
Pat was left in charge of two suitable persons, and 'the
remainder of the day was spent by the officer and myself in
searching his house and premises for the balance of the missing





112


UNAVAILING SEARCH.


funds, which was done without giving any information to his
wife of the real object of our examination, or the unpleasant
situation of her husband.    The woods were also thoroughly
ransacked, though the chances appeared to be, that the booty
had been removed to the house or vicinity, as he went directly
from home that morning, having a part of the funds about his
person, with the design, as it was afterwards ascertained, of
purchasing tickets for himself and family, and several others,
to Illinois.
But our researches were unavailing, and I returned to the
post-office somewhat disappointed; for the proof was not yet
sufficient to convict him, on account of the impossibility of
identifying the bills with certainty, as I have already mentioned.
Before leaving, I had made known to him our intention to
search his house, and when we returned, he for the first time
showed signs of great uneasiness, and walked the room constantly, evidently anxious to know if his treasures had been
discovered. His anxiety was natural enough, for it turned
out that the whole of the money was secreted in the house,
and that at one time during the search, I was separated from
its hiding place, only by a half-inch board!
But Pat remained immovable, so far as any confessions
were concerned; and it was thought advisable, at this juncture, to call into requisition the influence of the person at whose
urgent solicitation Pat had obtained his situation in the postoffice.  An interview between them     was speedily arranged,
but the accused, for a while, still continued stoutly to deny his
guilt. Subsequently, however, he inquired of the post master
whether, in case he produced the money, he would have his
liberty.  The post master assented, so far as to promise no
prosecution on his part, and Pat finally agreed to go with us
on the following morning, and point out the place of deposit,
but insisted that H., his friend and patron, (just referred to,)
should be of the party.
Fully impressed with the importance of securing Pat as well





RECOVERY OF MONEY.


113


as the property of his victims, I now obtained a warrant,
which was at once placed in the hands of one of the U. S.
Deputy Marshals, who agreed to be in the immediate vicinity
of the mail robber's residence, but to delay the arrest till he
received a signal from me that all was ready, and after the
funds were fairly in our possession.
Accordingly, a hack was ordered to be at the post office at
an early hour the next morning, and we (the post master, myself, Pat, and H.) were soon crossing the ferry to South Brooklyn. Ten minutes' ride brought us in front of Pat's house,
where we all alighted. Here matters took a turn wholly unexpected to me, for Pat insisted that no one but his friend, H.,
and himself, should go for the money, which he said was
buried in the yard behind the house. To this I objected, but
Pat stood firm, remarking, that it would attract too much attention if all hands went, and that if his request could not be
granted, he should make no further disclosures, and we might
as well go back to New York.
The post master and myself having at that time confidence
in H., I took him aside and told him Pat must not be allowed
to escape, on any account, and that if he went alone with him,
he must promise to be responsible for his safe and speedy return with the money, to all of which, H. readily assented,
claiming to have complete control over his man, and promising to have him back in a few moments. With this understanding they both passed round the house, and I started
to give the Marshal the signal that the time for his services
had arrived.
Not more than three minutes had elapsed before I returned
in company with that officer, and H. was seen coming towards
us, with a small box under his arm, but alone.
"Where is R.?" I inquired.
"He went into the house, through the back yard," was the
response.
Taking the box from H., and handing it over to the post
master, to be taken to the carriage, we at once passed into the
10 *





114


PAT ESCAPES.


house, but no Pat could be found. On applying to HI., to
know what this meant, he explained by saying, that as soon as
the box was handed to him, Pat hopped over the fence into
his back yard, and entered the house.
After some further search, he could not be found there, and
H. proposed that we should not then appear too anxious to
Asecure him; repeatedly promising to have him forthcoming at
any moment, after the excitement had passed by a little.
Returning to the carriage, we started for New York, counting
the funds as we rode, which amounted to $4473. Much of it
was in the original parcels of bank-notes, of one hundred and
two hundred dollars each, enclosed in the usual straps of paper,
with the amount of each package marked thereon, in the
figures of the cashiers and others, which greatly assisted afterwards in the identification.
The author of all this mischief managed to elude the most
secretly and cautiously executed plans for his arrest. It was,
however, pretty well ascertained that he occasionally visited
his home during the night season, and one night he was discovered at a late hour, by a local policeman (who had been
employed to watch for him,) emerging from the front door of
his house. They saw each other at about the same instant,
and the policeman made an effort to seize him; but Pat was
well armed, and was in the act of pointing a gun at the
officer, when the latter, knocking it aside, presented a revolver
and snapped it, the cap, luckily for the miserable fugitive from
justice, only exploding.
The noise had attracted the attention of two of his friends,
who it appears were just leaving the premises, and who were
also well armed, and in the confusion which ensued, aided by
the darkness of the night, Pat managed to get clear again.
The next attempt to arrest him was undertaken in consequence of private information that his family, together with a
brother and other relatives, had purchased tickets for the West.
The buying of an extra ticket more than was required for the
party entering their names, authorized the belief that it was





SEARCHING A STEAMER.


115


obtained for Pat himself, who would probably join them at
some point on the route. They were to leave on a certain
evening, by one of the Albany boats, which usually made no
landing between the two cities. On this occasion authority
was obtained for the boat to touch at Poughkeepsie, to receive
on board the Special Agent and two United States Marshals.
With this sleepless corps of officials there was no lack of
handcuffs, revolvers, &c., nor of firm resolves to take the culprit at all hazards, if he was on the boat, and to arrest his wife
and one or two others, believed to have been his accessories
after, if not before, the fact.
The night being still and cloudless, at about midnight the
well-known sound of a steamer's paddles was heard, and soon
the huge form of the '" Hendrick Hudson" was seen looming
up in the distance, her numerous signal and other lights, as
she changed her position from time to time, appearing like
some brilliant constellation, and making a most beautiful display.
As she approached, for a time there appeared no perceptible
change in her course, but when nearly opposite the landing,
she suddenly veered toward us, and in a moment her guards
were chafing against the ends of the pier; and without waiting for the gang-plank, we were on board before the wheels
had fairly ceased their motion. The engineer's bell sounded
the signal for going ahead; and we about the same time
commenced our search through the floating palace.
As we progressed through the spacious cabins, a chorus of
discordant sounds saluted us from their sleeping occupants.
It is curious, by the way, to see how the levelling influence
of sleep shows itself in establishing a sort of equality between
different individuals, in respect of the noise they make in the
world. Your modest man, who, in his waking moments) avoids
all display of his vocal or other powers, no sooner comes under
the influence of the drowsy god, than his modesty deserts
him; he blows his trumpet with as much sonorousness as
the most impudent of mankind. The most retiring person I





116


THE WRONG PASSENGER.


ever knew, was remarkable for being outrageously vociferous
in his slumbers.
The redoubtable Pat, however, was guiltless of contributing
to the volume of sound aforesaid; nor was his physiognomy
discoverable among the sleeping or waking occupants of
the cabins, so far as we could see. And as for any discoveries we made that night, or any good that our trusty arms did
us, we might as well have been encircled in the "arms of
Morpheus." At one time, however, we thought our night's
work would prove a successful one, for on hastily consulting
the clerk as we boarded the steamer, he informed us that a
man answering tolerably well the description of the object of
our search, had paid his fare to Albany, and was snugly stowed
away in berth No. 54, in the forward cabin.
The revolvers and "ornaments" were hastily examined, and
the plan adopted of delegating one of the trio to proceed
quietly to No. 54, and, under the pretence that its occupant
was in possession of the wrong berth, to ascertain, first, if he
was really the veritable Pat.
As I was the only one who could readily identify him, this
duty fell upon me; and leaving my fearless associates at the
top of the stairs, with instructions to rush to my aid, in case
I took off my hat, with almost breathless anxiety I made a
descent into the cabin, and in a few seconds stood in front of
the berth designated by the clerk.
" Hallo, stranger," I called out, at the same time gently
shaking him, "haven't you got the wrong pew?"
An inhuman sort of a grunt was all the reply I could at first
obtain, but after repeating the inquiry, and increasing the
force of the punch, he leisurely turned over.
"And what the d-1 do you want?" says the lodger,
"' bothering a gentleman in this way? Is it my pocket-book,
o01 my boots, you're after?"
It wasn't Pat's voice at all, nor was it his face, which I at
that moment got a glimpse of, by the aid of a lantern in the
hands of one of the servants who was passing. As I saw pre




PAT'S WIFE ARRESTED.


117


parations making for "turning out," and was satisfied that I
had waked up the wrong passenger, I thought it prudent to
withdraw before matters progressed further in that direction.
None of the suspected party were on board on that occasion.
The telegraph was resorted to after our arrival in Albany,
and word transmitted to us in that way, that the party we were
in search of would certainly go up the river by the boat on
the following night.
The next morning we were at the wharf, and by an arrangement with the officers of the boat, we were enabled to see
every person who went ashore, as they passed through a halfopened door at the after-gangway, in giving up the passage
tickets. The net was well spread this time, and though we
did not pick Pat up, we secured the whole party of his traveling friends, including his wife and two children. The Marshal took them in charge, and without much ceremony or explanation, conducted them to a hack which had been provided
for their special accommodation. They were very soon after
escorted to the police station, and a subsequent examination
of their persons and effects afforded no additional light, except
that among the baggage of Mrs. R. was found a lot of scrap
gold, which a dentist of Philadelphia mailed to a New York
firm, and which had never reached that firm. On the strength
of this discovery, she was afterwards indicted as an accomplice
of her husband, and committed to Brooklyn jail, where she
remained for several months, her two children staying with
her, at her own request.
Although she undoubtedly knew the precise locality of her
"liege lord," and probably could have procured her own
liberty by making it known, yet she remained firm, and to the
last steadily refused to give the least information, insisting,
moreover, that she was ignorant of the post office depredations
at the time they were going on, and that the stolen property
found in her possession was placed in one of the trunks without her knowledge. Possibly it was so, as some of Pat's
wearing apparel was found there also.





118


FALSE IMPRISONMENT.


The remathder of the party, three in number, were detained
at Albany. It was deemed necessary that they should remain
there a while, but the Chief of Police was instructed not to
treat them strictly as prisoners, but to allow them to lodge at
the station; and an arrangement was made for them to eat at
a neighboring restaurant, at the expense of Government.
The proprietor of the aforesaid restaurant finding, however,
that they were disposed to abuse that privilege, by imbibing
too freely, and selecting from  the bill of fare whatever was
choice and expensive-and especially as the contract for this
portion of his customers was not very clearly defined-took
the precaution to erase from one copy of the bill of fare all
articles of a rare and expensive kind, which corrected list, by
the third day, embraced but one or two plain dishes. This
brief programme was sure to be thrust before them as often as
they called for'anything to eat, though a verbal announcement
of " coffee" was added at the regular morning and evening
repast. Having also some faint recollection of the discussions
in the public papers about reforms in the Navy, and dispensing
with the C grog rations," he compromised the matter on that
head, by allowing the men " two drinks" a day, and no more;
that being, in his estimation, a proper Government allowance.
As sufficient legal evidence could not be procured, to show
that they really aided and abetted in the robberies, they were
notified that their bills would no longer be paid by the Post
Office Department; and declining to continue their journey to
the West, tickets were furnished them to return to New York.
Soon after their arrival in the city, they fell in with a tolerably smart specimen of a lawyer, whose indignation at the
unheard-of proceedings against them, of course had nothing
to do with so mercenary a motive as that of getting a fee out
of them; and by his advice a suit was promptly brought
against the Special Agent and the two Deputy Marshals, for
false imprisonment!
The cause was " set down" for trial in the Marine Court,
and came off in the course of a week or two. A waggish





THE TRIAL.


119


spectator remarked that he could not see why it was brought
in the Marine Court, unless it was because the complainants
were " half seas over" when stopped at Albany.
A very brief synopsis of this trial will, I think, prove worth
a perusal.
On the part of the prosecution, the complainants themselves
were the witnesses-all three of them genuine sons of the
Emerald Isle
Separate trials were asked and granted, and that of the
Special Agent was first taken up.
Michael D. was duly sworn, but instead of mounting the
witness's stand, with one bound and a broad grin, he was inside
the Judge's desk, and seated in the chair usually occupied by
one of the Associate Judges! A burst of laughter followed,
in which his Honor, as well as the spectators, joined. The
officer in attendance on the Court was quickly alongside of
Mike, and with considerable difficulty removed him to the
witness' stand. Here he fixed his eyes intently on me, perhaps
to keep watch, lest I should attempt to run away, considering
me his prisoner at last, and evidently chuckling within himself at the thought that the time had now come to put me on
as limited allowance, so far as variety went, as he had been
restricted to while in Albany.
Order being now restored, the counsel commenced interrogating the witness.
"Michael, were you on your way to Illinois, from this city,
on the 20th instant?"
Witness.-" Was I in Illinoi? and sure I niver was in me
life; and if that spalpeen of an Agint beside ye says I was,
he lies, bedad he does!"
Notwithstanding the loud calls of "stop, stop," by his
lawyer, he went through with the sentence, and stood, a thumb
in each arm-hole of his vest, looking defiantly at me, and
apparently ready for the next question.
The Court.-" Now, Michael, you must not be in such a
hurry. Try and understand what is said to you thoroughly,





120


A STUPID WITNESS.


before answering. I shall not permit any indulgence in the
use of harsh names to any of the Government officers, or to
any one else in Court."
Witness.-" And didn't they stop me, and trate me the
same as a male thafe, your Honor?"
The Court.-" Well, that's what we want to find out; but
you must not talk, only when you are questioned; remember
that."
Counsel.-" I will put the inquiry in another shape. Were
you a passenger on board the steamboat for Albany, on any
night during the present month?"
Mike remained speechless for a moment, staring at the
Judge in the most penetrating manner. That functionary
finally broke the silence,
" Well, why don't you answer?"
Witness.-" And sure, your Honor, didn't you just tell me
to remain spacheless when questioned?"
Court.-" Only when questioned, I said."
Witness (to the counsel).-" I was on the stameboat, and
the Agint there knows it, so he does; and them other big
feeling chaps there (pointing to the Deputy Marshals) knows
it too. And I'd like to see 'em try to delay me in that way
agin," at the same time looking fists, if not daggers, at those
innocent officials.
Here the patience of the Court, as well as the counsel, became well nigh exhausted, and it was suggested that Michael
should stand aside for the present, as the same facts could be
proved by another and more intelligent witness.
The new witness went on to describe the affair from the
commencement, including the detention at Albany. The
cross-examination, however, showed that so far as any " imprisonment" was concerned, it was literally " false."
It was shown that all had the a freedom of the city," while
in Albany, having frequently visited some " distant" connections-distant about two miles from the police station-and
had been well boarded, away from the station, at the public





CASE DISMISSED.


121


expense. That in fact they could have gone anywhere they
chose, a few hours after their arrival in Albany, or on any succeeding day.
After listening to the circumstances, and the motives which
led to the detention of these men, and to the testimony of one
of the police officers at Albany, in relation to their treatment
while there, the Judge summarily dismissed the case, remarking that, in the first place no " imprisonment" had been
proven, and that, even if it had, he should probably have sustained the officers in the discharge of what they conisidered
their duty, in endeavoring to ferret out and punish the authors
of important crimes against the laws of the land.
The trial I have just described was but one of many incidental occurrences which took place in the course of the
attempts made to arrest Pat R.; occurrences, both tragical and
comical, which would here find a place, did not the limited
space render that impossible.
In closing the history of this case, it will be sufficient to
say that, in the course of our investigations, the innocence of
many suspected persons was established; restitution made to
the sufferers by Pat's villany, so far as their losses could be
satisfactorily traced to him; and the Post-Office Department
were rid of one of the most daring and unscrupulous mail
robbers that ever disgraced the service. He is not even now
as secure in his hiding place as he perhaps imagines himself
to be.
If there are those (as there is reason to suspect) who shared
with him in such of the spoils as were not recovered, they
also, even if they escape the punishment which they merit
from their fellow men, will not always elude the pursuit of
conscience, nor avoid the retribution which she will most
surely inflict upon them.


11





CHAPTER V.


An infected District-A " fast" Route Agent-Heavy Bank LossesAmateur Experiments-Dangerous Interference-A Moral Lecture
-The Process discovered-An unwelcome Stranger-Midnight
Watching-Monopoly of a Car-Detected in the Act-The Robber
searched--His Committal- A supposed Accomplice--The Case
explained-Honesty again triumphant-Drafts and Letters-A
long Sentence-Public Sympathy-A Christian Wife-Prison Scenes
-Faithful to the last-An interesting Letter.
THE literary reputation of one of the oldest and most celebrated seats of learning in New England, was once temporarily
overshadowed by the " bad eminence' that it attained in the
eyes of all within a distance of fifty miles in every direction,
who attempted to transmit valuable matter through the mails.
The period during which this state of things existed, was in
the months of January and February, 1854. Throughout
those months a fatality attended all money-letters designed to
pass through the place referred to; the like of which has seldom been known in the history of the Post-Office.
As well might one have attempted to send a valuable letter
across the Maelstrom, as to get it safely past the fatal point.
This point was like the lion's cave in the fable, into which
many tracks entered, but from which none were seen to
return. And the lion, whoever he was, had an insatiable and
indiscriminating appetite, for he consumed the supplies coming from three or four neighboring counties in the State, and
like a feline Oliver Twist, continually "asked for more."
The effects of these numerous losses, of course, were not
(122)





PAINFUL SUSPENSE.


123


confined to the vicinities of the sufferers, but were felt in remote
portions of the country.
But the loss of money and the consequent inconvenience,
were not the only results following this wholesale robbery.
Perhaps no series of mail depredations ever spread so widely
the cloud of suspicion over those connected with the mail
service. All the route agents, post masters, post-office clerks,
and mail messengers, whose spheres of duty lay within the
infected district; all these officials felt the severity of the test
of character, which existing circumstances applied. - Such a
state of things as that which we are describing, often serves
as a thunder-shower, to clear the moral atmosphere. Halfformed purposes of roguery are, for the present at least, laid
by; those already guilty of peculation on a small scale cease
from their operations; all wait in breathless suspense for the
denouement of the drama; and when the bolt falls, and the
offender is smitten down, they breathe more freely; and such
a catastrophe is not unfrequently the turning point in the life
of some young man, who has hitherto been vacillating between
good and evil.
The arrest and punishment of another inspires him with
salutary fear of similar results in his own case, should he
venture upon a like course.
And the effect of such occurrences upon those who have
never turned aside from the path of rectitude, is no less
decided.
These are the times that "try men's souls."      It is a hard
thing for one to bear up for weeks and months under a
load of suspicion, though conscious of innocence; but this is a
still harder task, if he has nothing between the eyes of the
public and his inward rottenness but the thin shell of a decent
and false reputation. No man can know to its full extent the
value of a good character, until he has been through some
"fiery trial," in which nothing but such a power could have
saved him from ruin.
Yet those who at the time of which I speak, were most firm





124


" FAST" ROUTE AGENT.


in conscious integrity, did not escape the stings of annoying
suspicions, and significant insinuations.
"Could it be a certain Route Agent?" confidentially asked
an officious individual, perhaps quite too willing to start such a
suspicion, the aforesaid Agent having, in pursuance of general
instructions, denied him the privilege of the mail car. "I saw
him," continued our virtuous friend, "sporting a fine turn-out
only last Sunday, and they do say that he is rather fast for a
young man on so small a salary. It wouldn't surprise me
much if they should find that the trouble is there.""
Unfortunately for this theory, so well founded on the basis
of a Sunday "turn out" and a "they say," the "fast" young
man could not have had access to one in a dozen of the lost
packages.
This is a specimen of the endless surmises and conjectures
that were thrown out in the progress of the affair, much to
the annoyance of numerous post masters' clerks, and other
officials, whose honesty, aided by the strenuous efforts of the
Special Agent to arrive at the truth, carried them through the
ordeal triumphantly; and left their accusers, particularly the
man who couldn't ride in the mail car, rather "chop-fallen,"
and possibly not a little disappointed.
The banks within the infected district, suffered in the loss
of drafts, &c., to the amount of at least two hundred thousand
dollars, while scarcely a business man in either of the two
or three cities within range of the prevailing disorder, escaped
the vexatious and often injurious consequences of the depredations then going on, for the robber did not stop to select his
booty. Indeed, he could not have done so, had he wished it,
as the reader will hereafter see.
An investigation of the case was ordered by the Department, and carried on with as much energy as prudence would
permit; yet in the midst of it the robberies continued unchecked. Hereupon some of the bank officers grew very impatient, as the victims of depredations are apt to do, if they





AN AMATEUR'S DECOY.


125


are not made acquainted with every step that is taken in the
delicate process of narrowing down the investigation.
When I had been on the trail for nearly a week, one of
those gentlemen-an excellent financier, but by no means
profoundly versed in the mysteries of human nature-in his
imprudent zeal to find out something; took matters into his
own hands, and came near spoiling all by alarming the robber, without detecting him. He prepared a sort of decoy letter, as he called it, well filled with pieces of tissue paper, about
the size of bank-notes, and this tempting package, he addressed to a cashier to whom several of the missing letters
had been directed. This fell into the hands of the robber,
but the experiment was rendered harmless by the fact stated
by himself after his arrest, that he never stopped to read or
examine any letters, except to ascertain whether they contained
money. It will never be known, probably, how much good
advice the criminal lost, when he committed this tissue of deception to the flames, for the worthy cashier, in his well-meant
zeal, supplied the place of bank-notes in the decoy package
with what he doubtless considered of more value, namely, a
moral lecture to the delinquent, displaying in vivid colors the
folly and wickedness of his course, and closing with the warning that if he took that letter, he would surely be detected!
The ingenuity and shrewdness of this device cannot be too
much admired. The threat contained in the letter was so well
calculated to throw the culprit off his guard, that if he had
read it, he would no doubt have fallen an easy prey to such
cunning machinations! It was of course expected by the deviser of this scheme that the package would be preserved by
the person who stole it, in order to afford the necessary evidence of crime! The pieces of tissue paper could easily have
been identified, and he would naturally preserve the accompanying document with as much care as Job was ready to show
to the " book" which he wished his adversary to write!
Such interference as this, with an important investigation,
is never warranted by any considerations whatever. The com.
11*





126


DANGEROUS INTERFERENCE.


mander of an army who has laid all his plans for surprising
an enemy, would feel under very slight obligations to any officious friend, who, in his impatience and ignorance of the
course intended, should alarm the foe by some hasty and illadvised attack.
Thus is it in the investigations to which we refer. Secrecy
is all-important to the successful issue of the plans that may
be devised; and volunteer services, especially from persons
destitute of experience, are quite as likely to aid the criminal
as to assist those who are endeavoring to detect him.
This digression has been made principally for the sake of
protesting against such interference as that above mentioned,
and of inducing others to abstain from similar unwarrantable
experiments.
Notwithstanding the uneasiness of our amateur- detective
officer, and the remarkable skill displayed by him (as he supposed) in that capacity, considerable progress had already been
made by means much safer than those which he adopted, if
not more ingenious.
There were but few points to which suspicion could be reasonably directed, as there were but few places where the stolen
packages would have centered. Each of these points was
closely watched. A section of rail road, some thirty-five miles
in length, over which most of the robbed mails must have
passed, seemed, for a time, to satisfy the conditions of the
problem to be solved, but this hypothesis was overturned by
the fact that on one and the same night, packages were taken
from mails which had passed each other on this road, in opposite trains, on separate tracks, and at a high rate of speed.
The mail messengers employed to convey the mails to and
from the several railroad depots at central points, were carefully looked after, but all appeared right among them. And
as for the post-offices, there were not more than two out of all
affected by the numerous losses, thrQugh which half a dozen
of the lost letters would have passed.
There was however, one man who had not thus far been





THE DISCOVERY.


127


included in the investigation, chiefly because in the discharge
of his ordinary duties as baggage-master, at a central station
or junction where mail carriers were provided by the rail road
companies, he was not supposed to have even a temporary
charge of any of the mails. But while watching one of the
mail carriers on a certain evening, as he was conveying a
number of mails from a city post-office to the cars, the Agent
observed him placing them in charge of the aforesaid baggagemaster, prior to the arrival of the train by which they were to
be forwarded.
After they had thus been committed to his custody, he was
seen to throw them carelessly into his baggage room, and enter
the room, closing the door behind him. After a lapse of
several minutes, he came out, piled the bags upon a barrow or
baggage truck, and wheeled them to a point upon the platYorm, opposite which the approaching train was to stop. The
unnecessary operation of placing the bags in the room, when
the train was nearly or quite due, was a very suspicious circumstance, especially when taken in connection with the other
movements of the baggage-master, and by means of the
telegraph the post master of a neighboring city was requested
to be present at the opening of that mail, to see whether
certain letter packages arrived which were known to have been
in the through mail pouch for his office that evening. The
reply was, "opened mail myself, no letters for this delivery."
An hour and a half had now passed since the train had left,
and if the mails had been rifled in the baggage room, sufficient
time had been afforded the robber to have concealed or
destroyed all the direct proof of his guilt upon this occasion.
Hence no open action was then taken in view of the discoveries made. Besides, there was too much at stake to
warrant the incurring of any risk on the strength of these
facts.
The following evening the movements of the suspected
person were again watched, the Agent having a better knowledge respecting the exact nature and value of a portion of the





128


MIDNIGHT WATCHING.


contents of the mail bags which were to be forwarded at that
time.
Upon this occasion, the train was " on time," and the
carrier a little later than usual, so the mails were placed
directly upon the barro*, and wheeled by the baggage-master
to an obscure part of the depot, more remote from observation,
and less in the way of passers, than that where they were
carried the previous night. After remaining there a short
time, he rolled the truck and its valuable load back to the
usual spot, in readiness for the train.
This strange manoeuvre indicated still another and a bolder
operation, but the probabilities were that he had been foiled
in any attempt he might have designed to make, by a person
whom I saw following him into his dark retreat to make
application for baggage, as I supposed, for they both entered
the baggage room, and soon came out, the stranger with a
valise in his hand. This contre-temps excited in my mind no
very amiable feelings toward its innocent cause, for I had
concluded to bring the affair to a crisis at once, should the
telegraph report anything missing from the mails. But the
dispatch received that evening was, "All right," which confirmed my belief that my plans and those of the baggagemaster had been frustrated by the stranger.
Another train from the opposite direction, and bringing
mails for delivery at this point, were due at a later hour, and
as there had also been losses from those mails, I decided to
wait and see what usage they received on their arrival, which,
owing to heavy snow-drifts somewhere on the road, was
delayed till near midnight.
When the train came in and the baggage was disposed of,
the mails were all carried to the baggage room instead of to
the post-office, and, after putting out the gas-lights about the
depot, the faithful baggage-master returned to his apartment.
Through a small swinging window designed for ventilation,
opening into this room near the top, I could see a faint light,
and from its unsteady motions, which showed that the lamp





ON THE RIGHT ("TRACK.


129


from which it proceeded was in the hand of some one moving
it in various directions, I concluded that the occupant of the
room was rifling the mails.
This was an exciting moment. My first impulse was to proceed at once to the door, demand admittance, and charge him
on the spot with the crime of which I suspected him. But a
slight distrust of my physical ability to cope with him singlehanded in case of resistance, which would almost certainly follow if my suspicions were correct; and the lateness of the
hour, rendering it improbable that I could obtain aid should
it be necessary; these considerations prevented me from carrying out my first intention, and when the unconscious object
of my scrutiny put out his light and left the depot, I went in
an opposite direction to my quarters, determined, however, to
give him but one more chance to continue his depredations.
The next night he robbed his last mail bag.
Obtaining a private interview with the Superintendent of
the rail road, I for the first time laid the facts before him, for
the purpose of securing some assistance in the prosecution of
my plans which he only could render. I wished to provide a
place of concealment in that retired part of the depot where
the mails had been taken on the preceding evening; and as
empty cars were frequently left standing over night upon some
of the unoccupied tracks, it was arranged to leave a car near
the place mentioned, for my exclusive occupancy. From the
"loop-hole" of this "retreat" I could determine with some
accuracy the nature of such mysterious movements as I had
before witnessed in that vicinity.
Lest the baggage room should be chosen this time as the
scene of operation, and thus my plans be defeated, a discreet
friend was stationed near that point about the time that the
mails were brought over from the office, in order to "c head off"
the suspected functionary.
For the purpose of allowing as much time as possible, the
conductor of the train, which was to take that mail, had beer
telegraphed to 1" come in a little behind time."





130


CAUGHT IN TIIE ACT.


Certain money packages had been prepared, and everything
being in readiness, I took my post of observation in the empty
car just before the mails came from the post-office.
I had not long been stationed, when I heard the familiar
rumbling sound of the baggage truck, and in a moment more
the baggage-master appeared, trundling along his load of mails,
and coming to a halt upon the platform, within fifteen feet of
my watchful eye.
That eye saw rapid work for a few moments! Hasty passes
of the right hand between the mouth of one of the'mail bags
(as it appeared in the dim light to be) and the capacious pockets of a sack over-coat, showed clearly for what purpose the
mails had been thus taken out of the way, and the well-known
click of a mail-lock informed me that the operation was concluded, and that the moment had arrived for action on my
part.
I think a rail road car was never emptied of its contents in
a much less time than on the present occasion. And my very
informal introduction to the wholesale dealer in goods in the
"original packages," was about as sudden. In fact, he had
hardly set down the barrow, after removing it a few rods to its
usual position, before I was addressing him.
In the midst of the rifling process just described, I had
seen him open the door of a small apartment near him, a light
shining out for a moment while the door was open. And it
occurred to me that an accomplice might be secreted there for
the purpose of receiving the stolen property. Accordingly I
remarked that I would like to have him accompany me for a
moment into this room on private business, to which he readily
assented, neither knowing me, nor having any suspicion of
the nature of my "business," for otherwise he might not have
so cheerfully complied with my request.
On opening the door I discovered a person within, who appeared to be wholly unoccupied, except in smoking a cigar.
Thinking it probable that he was in some way connected with
the robberies, I considered it prudent to obtain assistance be




A               ju
Ol


64


/










A SUCCESSFUL SEARCH.


131


fore making known the object of this interview, and accordingly spoke to three or four persons who had been attracted
to the place by the unwonted movements, requesting them to
call one of the police officers, some of whom were generally in
the vicinity of that rail road station.
During this delay, and in order to prevent any attempt at
escape, I put a series of questions to the baggage-master, calculated to allay the suspicion which began to be strongly indicated by his looks.
"Did you," I inquired, "find, in this morning's train from
H-, a pocket-book, lost there by a passenger?  If we can
recover the papers, the money is less of an object."
This seemed to relieve his fears considerably, and he replied
in a cheerful tone,
"I have found no such thing. It isn't my business to go
through the trains, but this man's," pointing to the other person present.
" Ah, it's my mistake. Did you see anything of a pocketbook," I asked, turning to the person indicated.
C No," was the answer; " have you lost such an article?"
I was relieved from the difficulty of this question by a rap
on the door from the Chief of Police, who was the man of all
others whom I wished to see.
As he entered, I intimated to him, in a whisper, what was
on foot, and then turning to the baggage-master, without any
preamble or formality, I requested him to hand me the mailkey, which he had in his possession.
" I haven't any mail-key," was the dull response.  "Very
well," said I, " then we shall have to search you."
He turned pale, and remarked, with assumed calmness, "I
suppose I know what you want."
One of the side pockets of his over-coat appearing somewhat distended, I commenced my investigations with that.
The first article that appeared was the large package of letters
made up that evening for delivery at the neighboring city,
before alluded to, and the next dive brought to light a heavy





132


THE SUPPOSED ACCOMPLICE.


distribution package for the same office. Several other packages of less size were afterwards drawn forth. After the search
had been completed, the culprit was hand-cuffed, and lodged in
jail within half an hour from the time when he had committed
this last depredation.
After we had dispatched this part of the business, we turned
our attention to the companion of the unfortunate baggagemaster, who had been observing our proceedings with the
utmost equanimity, though not without interest.
"That's rather hard on Ed," said he, as the door closed on
the culprit.
"Yes," replied I, "it is. But I believe we must search
you, for I think you are concerned in this affair."
"I never was searched in my life," said he, smilingly, " excepting when I've searched my own pockets, and then I never
found much. Perhaps you'll have better luck; at any rate,
it won't hurt me to have it tried;" and so saying, he laid
aside his cigar, and presented himself to undergo the ordeal.
But nothing was found to implicate him in any way.
I then expressed my fear that he might still be an accom
plice, as I noticed the baggage-master open and shut the door
of the little room, while rifling the mails that night.
An honest laugh followed this remark, and an explanation
was given me, which satisfactorily accounted for the suspicious
circumstance.
It seems that his dishonest companion, fearing that he would
come out of the room and detect him in the act, had opened
the door, telling him that he would have to be locked in till the
train arrived, and turned the key on the outside. This passed
for a joke, and the imprisoned person thought little of it, as
he would have no occasion to leave the room until the train
arrived, when it would be his duty to inspect the cars. It
also appeared that this locking up trick had been played several times previously, no doubt for a similar purpose.
Thus, was an honest man subjected to suspicion, by circumstances beyond his control. A satisfactory explanation of





A HEAVY SENTENCE.


133


them, however, was not beyond his power, and his experience
goes to increase the array of testimony, to show the inestimable value of a clear conscience in all exigencies whatever.
The key of a private desk in the baggage room was taken
from the robber, and in this desk was found about $40,000 in
bank drafts, checks, &c., and more than a hundred rifled letters, which, as their post-marks showed, must have been the
proceeds of one or two nights' robbery. Everything taken
from the mails, except money, had been committed to the
flames, as the criminal himself afterwards confessed. A large
portion of the available funds which he had accumulated, was
recovered and restored to the rightful owners.
In less than a week from this time, he was tried, and sentenced to the State Prison for the term of twenty-seven years.
The discoveries here detailed, gave rise to great surprise
and excitement among all who knew the guilty individual, for
he had sustained a good reputation for sobriety, honesty, and
industry.
His innocent family received the warmest sympathy of the
entire community, which indeed they deserved, for the culprit's wife was a sincere Christian woman;-a living exemplification of the religion by which she professed to be guided.
Some of the interviews at the prison between her husband,
children, and herself, were painful to behold; yet, after the
first terrible shock, (and how terrible it was, can be realized
by those only who have seen a beloved one suddenly metamorphosed from a fancied angel into a ", fallen spirit,") she became more resigned to the overpowering calamity which had
overtaken herself and her children.
She had no reproaches for her sinning husband, nor did
she allude in his presence to the sufferings which he had
brought upon his innocent family; but her aim seemed to be,
to induce him, by means of his bitter experience, to begin a
new and a Christian life.
One day, when I called to see the prisoner, in company with
a gentleman who was anxious to learn the fate of a package
12





134


A TOUCHING PICTURE.


of valuable papers which he had lost, we found the afflicted
woman sitting by her husband,-one arm thrown lovingly
around his neck, and an open Bible lying in her lap. We
apologized to her for the interruption. She looked up mournfully, a tear stealing down her wan cheek as she said,
"' It is no matter. I was only reading to poor Edward."
Then looking at him fondly, she continued,-" He has been a
kind, good husband and father, and hadn't any bad habits or
companions that I knew of; and I have often thought that
if he only had religion, he would be perfect. And if this
trial, bad as it is, will only make him a Christian, it will be all
I shall ask."
Meanwhile her two little children were thoughtlessly playing about the door of the cell, unconscious of the ruin which
had been wrought in the hearts and the prospects of their
wretched parents. The youngest one, while we were there,
tried to play at "bo-peep" with its father, but was immediately checked by the poor mother, who cried out in an
agonized voice, " Oh Eddie, don't i!"
Ever since her husband was sent to prison, this devoted
wife has visited him twice a month, (having been furnished
with a free pass by the officers of the rail road which passes near
the prison,) and to judge by the report of those who have an
opportunity of observing him every day, the prisoner has
commenced that Christian life, to which the prayers and
loving efforts of his wife were designed to lead him.
Nothing can be said that would add to the force of the les.
son contained in the facts here narrated. If a life-time of imprisonment, and the blighting of the hopes and happiness of
loved ones, do not show with sufficient impressiveness the result of crime, imagination will in vain attempt to supply the
deficiency.
I append a letter received by me from the criminal, some
time after his committal to the State Prison:




VOICE FROM PRISON.


135


W -, July 18, 1854.
Kind FriendFor I must consider you as such, because through your instrumentality I have been saved, perhaps, from a worse fate than has
befallen me. I think through this, I have been taught to see what a
sinner I am. I am truly penitent for this crime, as well as all my
disobedience to the just laws of God. I mean, through the help of
Almighty power, to serve my Creator the remaining years of my life.
It is strange how I was tempted to do that crime. I never was
inclined to do evil or keep bad company. In fact, I kept no company
hardly, except that of my wife and little ones. Oh! how my heart
throbs to break loose and join them! Look upon yours as you can
in freedom, and think of me. It almost suffocates me to call them
before me in my mind.
Oh, horrors! little did I ever think such a fate would befal me! I
cannot tell why I did it, more than this-to pay my debts. How
they did trouble me-how should I ever pay them? But this was not
the way to cancel them.
I do not love money-not at all. I never desired to be rich, only
to be square with the world. I became indebted by inexperience and
pride.
I would tell you the little story of my life, if I could. My connections, except my father, are pious people. My mother was a good
Christian, and died in the happy hope of Heaven. She called me to
her bedside about two months before her death. That was the last
time I saw her alive; and when she parted with me, she clasped me
to her bosom, with these words-" My son, obey God and meet me in
Heaven!"   Oh! how full of meaning, and a mother's love.
But this is too painful. I cannot write of this.
You can imagine my feelings at this time. But the evil tempter
has left me now, and I pray to God, never to return.
Do warn others of my sad fate, to shun the road to ruin.
God, in his infinite goodness, has looked upon me with compassion,
and calmed my troubles in part. At least all that I have desired, He
has done for me, or how could I have lived?
Will you not call and see me some time? Don't despise the thief;
Christ did not.
Many thanks to your kind heart. Also please thank the Government Attorney, and the Post Masters of H-, and N-- H-.
May God watch over and preserve you all.
Your unworthy servant,
E. A. S -





CHAPTER VI.


Safety of the Mails-Confidence shaken-About Mail Locks-Importance of Seals-City and Country-Meeting the Suspected-Test of
Honesty-Value of a String-A dreary Ride-Harmless Stragglers
-A cautious Official-Package missing-An early CustomerNewspaper Dodge-Plain Talk-A Call to Breakfast-Innocence
and Crime-Suspicion Confirmed-The big Wafers-Finding the
String-The Examination-Escape to Canada-A true WomanThe Re-arrest-Letter of Consolation-The Wife in Prison-Boring
Out-Surprise of the Jailor-Killing a Horse.
IN our larger cities, and indeed throughout the country,
there are thousands of persons engaged in the transaction of
business, who if called upon would testify that in the course
of their employment of the mails, involving in the aggregate
the collection and disbursement of millions of dollars, no part
of their correspondence, valuable or otherwise, had failed or
had ever been delayed through any fault of the Post-Office
Department.
Such, up to the year 1849, had been the experience-an
experience extending through many years-of a firm in Northern New York, extensively engaged in manufacturing and real
estate operations, which required the frequent transmission of
heavy remittances between their place of business and New
York City. For a long time they confined themselves to the
use of drafts, checks, and other representatives of money, but
as everything went on smoothly for years, they finally remitted
money itself, in the shape of bank-notes, whenever convenience
(136)





A LONG ROUTE.


137


required, without bestowing a thought upon the insecurity or
danger of such a course; and for a time the prompt acknowledgment of the receipt of the various sums thus sent strengthened their confidence in the safety of the mails, and the
fidelity of their management.
Therefore the rifling of one money letter directed by them
to New York caused but little alarm      but when this was
followed in rapid succession by the loss of the contents of a
second, third, and even a fourth, they began to think that
there was "something rotten in the state of "-New York,
and accordingly called upon the Post-Office Department for
aid in ascertaining the locality, and detecting the perpetrator
of these robberies.
The losses could not be attributed to misdirection, or any
other of the long catalogue of causes not of a criminal nature,
though occasioning much alarm and inconvenience. For in
the present case the rifled letters had reached the parties addressed. They had been opened, robbed, and resealed.
The route over which the letters passed was a long onesome four hundred miles-and the first look at the case seemed
almost to forbid the hope of success in its investigation; for it
appeared probable that the robber might defy detection as
effectually as "a needle in a hay-mow;" and a belief of
this kind no doubt encouraged him in his course. There was,
however, another fact in connection with the matter, as will
presently be seen, of which he was ignorant, which might
have caused him at least to hesitate in pursuing his designs,
had he known it, for it very much curtailed the limits within
which investigation was necessary.
The course of the mail on this route was, first to Ogdensburg, some sixty miles, by stage, the mail being overhauled at
each of the intermediate offices, eight or ten in number. At
Ogdensburg, all matter for New York was put into a " through
bag," which was furnished with a brass lock, and not to be
opened until its arrival in New York.
It may be well here to state that two kinds of locks are used
12 *





138


ABOUT MAIL LOCKS.


in the mail service; the iron lock for short distances and upon
routes where the mails are frequently overhauled, a key to
which is in the possession of all the post masters and " Route
Agents;" and the brass lock, used for greater safety only between large places and on important routes; the intermediate
offices being supplied with their mail matter without the
necessity of opening the through      bag.   Consequently the
brass key is in the hands of comparatively few post masters,
(only those who are connected with the offices where the
through bags are opened,) and of none of the Route Agents.
The reader will see from this statement, and others hereafter
to be made, that the robberies were probably committed somewhere between the first-mentioned place and Ogdensburg,
and that thus it would be necessary to pursue the investigation
only on the latter route, some sixty miles as has already been
mentioned.
The seals of the rifled letters were important witnesses in
this case.   In the resealing, uncommonly large wafers of a
peculiar shade had been used, as well as a particular kind of
stamp, which circumstances satisfactorily proved that all the
robberies were the handi-work of one person, and probably at
a single locality.  The letters had in each      instance been
detained somewhere one day longer than the time usually
required for their passage over the route.
Now there are certain features or symptoms, so to speak, in
cases of mail depredations which go far to assist one accustomed
to their investigation in determining whether they have occurred in large or small post-offices, and to distinguish with
tolerable accuracy, between city and country embezzlements.
A city depredator seldom if ever confines his operations to letters
passing over a particular route. Indeed he could scarcely do
so were he to attempt it, for in the usual division of labor, a
dozen letters arriving on separate days would be likely to be
taken charge of by as many different hands, and if letters were
passing each way on the same route, it would be still more
difficult for the same person to purlcin    from  both, as the





DISHONEST MESSENGERS.


139


receiving and forwarding departments are generally if not
always entirely distinct.
Neither is it a city symptom to reseal and replace a letter
after it has beenjifled, for the reason, among others, that the
depredator is not willing, after having succeeded in purloining
it, to incur the additional risk of smuggling it back again.
While in country or village post-offices, the thefts must in
most cases be confined to one route, and there is more leisure
and better opportunity for the resealing and returning process.
For similar reasons, the loss or robbery of a number of
letters addressed to the same party or business firm, although
arriving by different routes, would not necessarily place a city
post-office clerk under suspicion, since he could scarcely have
a motive for such a selection among the thousands of valuable
letters coming into his custody. On the contrary, if he were
disposed to be dishonest, he would be more likely to take A.'s
letter to-day, B.'s to-morrow, and C.'s the next day. Neither
would it, in the case just supposed, be probable that there was
a rogue on each of the different routes. The theory which
experience and observation have established, would be that
the repeated embezzlements had been carried on by some
dishonest messenger outside the office who had in his power
only the correspondence with which he had been intrusted.
At all events, such a conclusion would be fully justified by the
very frequent discoveries of similar delinquencies in our cities
and large towns.
The peculiar features in the present case showed quite
plainly that neither the New York nor Ogdensburg offices
were implicated, and that the depredations had occurred somewhere between the latter and the mailing office.
An important question now arose, namely, what postmaster
between these points used wafers similar to those upon the
rifled letters. Having entire confidence in the Ogdensburg
post master, I requested him to write to each of the post
masters on the suspected route, asking for information on
iadifferent subjects and requiring replies. One was requested





140


SINGULAR COINCIDENCE.


to send a copy of the post-bill from his office to Ogdensburg
of a certain date. Another was inquired of to know whether
a letter remained in his office addressed to Timothy Saunders;
another to know whether there was once a clerk in his
office by the name of Philip Barton, and if so, where he was
at present residing. In this way letters were obtained from
all these post masters in the course of a few days, and the mode
of sealing was in each case particularly examined. Upon one
of these letters the large wafer was found! There was not
only the kind of wafer, but the stamp identical with'that used
upon the rifled letters.
For a few days after this, the exterior of all the letters
received at Ogdensburg, and which passed through the
suspected office, were carefully examined to see if they had
been disturbed.   This examination showed plainly that a
number had been opened, and resealed either with the large
wafer, or by the use of the original seals, which of course
were mutilated.
Careful inquiry of some who knew the suspected post
master, showed that he was a merchant in good standing,
against whom no charge of dishonesty had ever been preferred.
The next thing to be done was to visit a point beyond him,
in order to pass decoy letters through his hands, on their way
to the Ogdensburg office.
Accompanied by a citizen of Ogdensburg, whose services
I had secured as a guide, I started in a private conveyance,
and when we had arrived within ten miles of the office of the
big wafers, we turned into a by-road so as to avoid passing
through the village in which it was situated.   At a short
distance from the village upon the road aforesaid, we saw a
sleigh approaching, (it was the month of December, and
capital sleighing,) and as it drew near, my companion remarked that he believed its occupant was Mr. Willis, the very
person we were endeavoring to avoid! My friend knew Mr.
W. by sight, but was not sure that Mr. W. knew him.





ADVENTURES OF A STRING.


ill


We concealed our faces as well as we could under the
circumstances, and passed at as rapid a rate as was compatible
with the muscular powers of our Rosinante. It afterwards
appeared that Willis was out on a collecting tour that day, and
that neither of us were known to him, nor had he the least
suspicion of our business.
The mail which had so frequently suffered the loss of its
valuable contents, passed over the route in the night, leaving
Fort Covington at about ten P. M. and reaching the suspected
office a ltle before midnight.
An interview with the victim of the former losses, resulted
in his preparing a letter containing one hundred dollars in
bank-notes, addressed to the same New York correspondent
to whom the other letters had been sent. A full account of
the bills was taken, and the letter sealed with a small wafer.
A post-bill was prepared by the post master at Fort Covington,
and the letter enclosed in a wrapper directed on the outside to
New York City.
For the first time it occurred to me that the string to be put
upon the decoy package, might be made to play an important
part in supplying evidence of crime. If the letter should be
robbed, and then destroyed together with the wrapper, and the
money secreted, no proof of the deed would remain excepting
the circumstance that the package went into that office and
never came out.    But the most cunning depredator would
never think of destroying a thing so insignificant as a string.
So I concluded to make it available in the experiment about
to be tried. Among my notes of this case, I find the following
description-" A white cotton string, twelve inches long; a
knot exactly in the middle, another an inch from one end,
and another two inches from the other end,-the last-mentioned end dipped in ink."
The package, tied up with this tell-tale string, was then
thrown into the bag, and we soon set out on our return in the
mail conveyance. The road lay for the most part through
thick swampy woods, upon whose grim silence the cheerfu.





142


HARMLESS STRAGGLERS.


sound of our sleigh-bells made but little impression. Nor did
we possess any other means for dispelling the gloom around
us than the red glow of a couple of cigars, with which we
resisted the encroachments of Jack Frost, so far as our noses
were concerned. These (the cigars, not the noses) must have
appeared like feeble imitations of a pair of coach lamps.
We had passed over about half the distance through the
woods, when an incident occurred serving at least to break the
monotony of our ride. A dark object by the side of the road,
made conspicuous by the snow upon the ground, attracted our
attention and that of our horses, who attempted to halt, and
required a smart application of the lash to induce them to
resume their pace. A moment after we could distinguish the
forms of two persons stepping nearer to the middle of the road
as we approached them. Not a word was said by either of us,
as we were too much engaged in speculating on the character
of the unexpected apparitions, to indulge in conversation; but
the driver had evidently made up his mind to forestall any
nefarious designs which they might entertain.    Requesting
me to "raise up a little," he drew from the sleigh-box an instrument effectual to lay such phantoms, to wit, a revolver.
There was, however, no occasion for its use, for the personages
before us turned out to be two French Canadians too far gone
in intoxication to be very formidable antagonists, had they
entertained hostile intentions, which they were far from doing,
as their energies were entirely devoted to maintaining a perpendicular position, and keeping somewhere within the bounds
of the road. Their erratic course rendered it somewhat difficult to avoid running over them, but we finally left them
behind, muttering "sacre" and staggering about in a very
social manner.
When we had arrived at the village and were within a
quarter of a mile of the office, I alighted from the sleigh and
walked on, leaving it to overtake me, my object in this being
to keep out of sight of the post master, whose suspicions
might possibly be excited by seeing a stranger il the sleigh





A CAUTIOUS OFFICIAL.


143


with the mail carrier, although the mail carriage occasionally
conveyed passengers. Perhaps this was an excess of caution
on my part. At any rate, it did no harm, and I prefer in all
such cases to give a wide berth to possibilities.
Once more on our way, my mind was chiefly occupied with
conjectures as to the result of that night's experiment, and in
determining what steps were to be taken in case the money
package had been abstracted. The post master himself had
changed the mails on this occasion, the driver in the mean time
having gone over to the hotel at my request, in order to afford
the former a good opportunity for committing the depredation
if he entertained any such design.
The distance to the next post-office on this route was about
six miles, and nothing further could be ascertained respecting
the condition of the package, till our arrival there. An excellent account had been given me of the post master at this
place, and his assistant. The former boarded at the hotel
nearly opposite the post-office, which was kept in his store.
As he was crossing the street with the mail bag on his way to
the office, I overtook him, made myself known to him, and
under an injunction of secrecy, disclosed to him the object of
my visit at such an unseasonable hour. I furthermore expressed
a desire to examine the packages contained in the pouch.
" It may all be right," said he, " but I hardly think I ought
to allow an entire stranger, especially at this hour of the night,
to know anything of the contents of the mails."
I was glad to find in this gentleman such a degree of caution and faithfulness to his public trust, and I was disposed to
test it a little further.
" Well, sir," I said, " if you are to obstruct an Agent of
the Department in this way, while in the discharge of his
duties, you will be reported at head quarters for removal."
"Can't help that," replied he, "I intend to go pretty
straight while I am here, and if the Post Master General himself were to appear here and want to overhaul my mails, he





144


MAKING A FIRE.


couldn't touch them, unless he satisfied me that he was the
very man. That's just as the case stands."
"Very well," I remarked, " the driver knows who I am,
and if he says it's all right, I suppose that will do."
"Not a bit of it," was the decided answer; "he may be
deceived as well as any one else."
I now drew from my pocket the official evidence of my
authority, bearing the signature of the Post Master General,
and the seal of the Post Office Department. After inspecting
this document rather closely, the cautious officer observed that
there was no mistaking the signature of N. K. Hall, and that
he believed he must "C give in."
I expressed my gratification at the fidelity which he had
displayed, and in a moment more the contents of the bag were
spread upon the counter. A careful search, several times
repeated, failed to discover the decoy package. Its absence,
of course, showed that it must have been stopped at the office
which I had intended to test.
I informed the driver that I could go no further with him
that night, and procuring another conveyance, I returned to
look after the stolen letter, and its dishonest possessor. Directly opposite the post-office was the village tavern, and there
I arrived about daylight, intending from that position to watch
the post master, and introduce myself as soon as he entered his
store.
After watching about an hour, I observed some one removing the outside shutters of the store windows, and was informed
by the landlord that it was the proprietor and post master.
I deemed it important not to be seen by him until I had
entered the store, when it would be too late to destroy or
secrete anything that he might have taken from the mail the
night previous. In this I was successful. When I opened
the store door, he was stooping down near the stove, engaged
in preparing " kindlings" for making his fire. I came upon
him so suddenly that he started to his feet almost with a
spring, and looked rather more flurried than one would natu




NEWSPAPER DODGE.


145


rally be who expected to see no more formidable a personage
than some early customer for a codfish or a quart of molasses.
" Thus Conscience does make cowards of us all," thought I,
as I observed his futile attempts to recover his self-possession.
After returning my salutation, he resumed the occupation
which I had interrupted, that of splitting up a knotty piece
of pine; but in his embarrassment he endeavored in vain to
strike twice in the same place, hitting the floor quite as often
as the stick which he was attempting to dismember.
Several common-place questions and answers passed bhetween
us while he was thus engaged. With the view of giving a
temporary relief to his nerves, and of ascertaining what part
of the store was appropriated to the post-office, (for there was
nothing of the kind in sight,) I inquired,"Is there a letter here for Albert G. Foster, Jr.?"
"No, there is no letter in the office for any one of that
name," replied he, apparently much relieved by the inquiry.
" You must have a paper for me," said I, 1" will you look?"
He dropped his hatchet, and I followed him into a countingroom at the further end of the store, which was devoted to
the postal department. The transient newspapers were examined, but not a paper could be found for Albert GO. or any
other Fosteir.
By this time the gentleman had nearly recovered from the
effects of my first sudden appearance, but the calm was destined to be only of short duration.
" Mr. Willis, you have been talking to an Agent of the PostOffice Department, who has been sent on here for the purpose
of detecting you in your frequent depredations upon the mails
passing through your office, particularly the letters of Messrs.
A. & Co. And last night you repeated the experiment once
too often. Now I want the letter that you then robbed, and
the hundred dollars which you found in it. It is a shameful
thing for any one, much more for a man of your standing and
connections, to convert, as you have done, a position of public
trust and responsibility into a sort of place of ambush, where
13





146


CALL TO BREAKFAST.


you lie in wait for the letters of your unsuspecting neighbors,
and other members of the community, and thus abuse the confidence reposed in you. It is worse than highway robbery."
He gazed intently at me for a few moments with a look designed to be one of surprise and injured innocence.     The
attempt was a miserable failure, however. Conscience would
lend her aid to no such cloaking of guilt, but proclaimed it
through the wavering of his eye, the forced expression of his
countenance, and the general agitation     which he vainly
attempted to conceal.
1" That is plain talk, sir, very plain talk," said he; " and I
think you cannot know much about me or my standing in
society, to come here and accuse me in the way you have
done."
" Your standing," replied I, 1"can have but little to do with
last night's transactions. I must have the hundred dollars,
even if you have destroyed the letter; and it is also important
that I should recover what you have taken from the mails on
previous occasions."
SYou seem to be sure that you are safe in making these
charges, sir," said he; "but all you have yet stated is nothing
but assertion without any proof."
Just then the front door of the store opened, and a pleasant
Voice was heard, " Breakfast is ready, father."  A sweet little
child stood in the door-way, and her innocent, careless face,
contrasted strikingly with the anxiety which displayed itself
in the features of her guilty father. Would that her voice
could have called him away from the course of villany and
dishonor which he had taken!
As her father did not at once reply to her, she came skipping up to him, and as she caught hold of his hands and playfully attempted to draw him along, he looked at her and then
at me, with an expression that said as plainly as words could
say it,-" Have you the heart to come between us, and destroy
the happiness of my innocent family?"
I felt the force of the appeal, but was impressed still more





INNOCENCE AND GUILT.


147


strongly with detestation of the conduct of a man who could
deliberately risk involving the members of his domestic circle
in misery and disgrace for the sake of enriching himself at the
expense of those who had confided in his integrity.
" I can't go now, my dear," said he, withdrawing his hands
from hers, " I am very busy. Run along and tell mother not
to wait for me."
So away tripped little Innocence, joyfully humming a simple air, and leaving us to deal with the grim question before us.
I now commenced a search among some waste papers scattered upon the floor and one of the tables, for the wrapper in
which the decoy letter had been enclosed, but I could find it
nowhere.    I however continued the search, hoping to find
the string, if nothing else; and my perseverance was rewarded
by the discovery of the package at the back part of a drawer
in a desk. The package appeared to be in a perfect state, except that the string was missing. Holding it up, I inquired
of the post master, " What is this package doing here?"
"It must have been thrown out by mistake in overhauling
the mail last night," replied he.
I removed the wrapper, and immediately found a full confirmation of my previous assertions, for the letter itself had
been broken open, and the large wafer substituted for the original seal. In fact it had been served exactly like its rifled
predecessors, and was now waiting to go forward to New York
by the next mail. I also observed a quantity of the large
wafers lying upon the desk, a few of which I secured for the
purpose of comparison. The evidence of the string now became of little importance, but I wished to find it if possible,
and after a few moments' search, I discovered it lying on the
floor behind the counter of the store.
The probability is that after the mail had passed that night,
he took the stolen letter to the store, and there opened it.
Against such overwhelming proof as this, it was worse than
useless to contend. So thought the unfortunate post master,
whose tone now changed considerably. IHe refunded on the





148


LIGHT BAIL.


spot the proceeds of the last night's robbery, and proposed to
make over a portion of the goods in his store as security for
the restitution of the amount previously purloined, if by such
a step he could save himself and his young family (consisting
of a wife and the little girl already referred to,) from the
crushing effects of public exposure.
But this tender regard for the happiness and honor of his
family came too late. Such considerations, if others are insufficient, ought to restrain one from the commission of crimes;
and it has always seemed to me that when a man in the full
possession of his faculties can thus compromise the comfort
and peace of mind of his innocent family, he deserves little
sympathy or pity from any quarter, however sincerely he may
regret his folly.
Willis was arrested by a local officer, and taken before a
Justice of the Peace in that neighborhood, who, notwithstanding the efforts made to impress upon him the importance of
holding the accused for trial, fixed the bail at a few hundred
dollars, which sum was readily furnished by responsible parties.
As several weeks were to elapse before the session of the
Court, it was my intention to re-arrest him under a United
States warrant, as soon as one could be obtained, but during
the night he made over a portion of his property to his sureties, and hastily filling a few trunks with articles of clothing
and other personal property, he decamped with his family to
Canada, leaving behind a deserted home and a disgraced name.
As soon as the crimes of Willis became known in the town,
universal sympathy for the wife of the criminal was felt and
manifested. She was a refined and accomplished lady, connected with a highly-respectable family in a neighboring
county, and had endeared herself to all who knew her, by her
kindness and other excellent qualities. Like a true woman,
she remained constantly at the side of her husband, after his
arrest; overlooking all his offences in her devoted affection,





THE RE-ARREST.


149


and palliating them to others as far as she could, on the ground
of pecuniary embarrassments.
Some weeks elapsed before a clue was obtained to his whereabouts. The deputy Marshal, to whom this business was intrusted, entered upon the search with great energy, and finally
succeeded in arresting him, and conveyed him to Utica, New
York, where he was examined before the United States Commissioner, who held him to bail in a large amount,*for trial
before the United States District Court. Being unable to obtain this heavy bail, he was sent to jail a few miles from Utica,
to await his trial. His wife, on his second arrest, returned to
her father's house. It was soon after this that she wrote him
the following letter, which was left in the jailor's possession:
F, Feb. 5, 1850.
My dear William,
It goes to my heart to feel that we are separated, even for a time,
and above all, to think what it is that separates us. But, William,
my love for you is such, that I had rather you were thus than dead.
"I ask not, I care not, if guilt's in thy heart,
But I know that I love thee, whatever thou art."
Oh! what strong temptation you must hive had to struggle with,
before you yielded to it! And I know that you meant to restore the
money to those it belonged to, at some time or other.
I sometimes find it hard to elude Julia's artless inquiries. She
wants to know "why Father went away with that man and didn't
come back."  Poor child! must she ever know that her father is in
a -? I can't write the word.
God forbid, my dear, that I should speak a word of reproach, but
perhaps I can say in a letter what I might find it hard to say if I
were with you. I am sure, William, that you have fallen into error
for my sake and Julia's, but let me assure you, from the bottom of
my heart, that I had far rather sink with you into the depths of honest poverty, than rise to affluence, leaving an approving conscience
behind. Never think of me for a moment, I beseech you, as a wife
whose wishes must be gratified at whatever expense, but reckon on
me as one who will ever be ready to undergo any self-denial which
the adoption of a straight-forward course may involve. I reproach
myself that I had not been more free to confide to you my views on
13 *





150


THE WIFE IN PRISON.


this subject before your misfortune. Had I done so, perhaps we
might have been differently situated now. But the past cannot be
changed. The future may be a new life to us, if we wish it; and
shall we not?
As to the bail, I have strong hopes that it can be arranged before
long. I hope to be with you as early as next week.
Julia sends a kiss to Father, and says, " Tell him I want him to
come and see me and mother."    I send the same for myself. Good
night, my dear, and many good morrows.
Your affectionate wife,
ELLEN.
Not far from two weeks after the committal of Willis to jail,
Mrs. Willis called one day late in the afternoon, and requested
permission of the jailor to spend the night with her husband.
This officer was a kind-hearted old gentleman, and the ladylike deportment of the applicant, whom he had seen on former
occasions, had won his entire confidence. He made no objection, and his native gallantry, and sympathy for the lady,
prevented a very thorough investigation of the contents of a
large basket that she brought with her, which presented to his
eye nothing but a goodly array of such delicacies as are not
usually included in a prison bill-of-fare. So she was ushered
into her husband's place of confinement, basket and all.
The jailor retired to rest that night with the happy consciousness of having done at least one kind act during the
day, and slept soundly,-perhaps more soundly than usual-till
morning.
When going his accustomed rounds, he noticed sundry
shavings and chips of a decidedly new and fresh appearance
on the floor outside of Willis's door. He further noticed that
the door was partly open, whereupon he hastily entered the
room in no small perturbation of mind. Nor was his disturbance diminished when be found that there was but one
occupant of the bed, and that, the fair lady whom he had
admitted the night before! She was apparently fast asleep, and
although the spectacle was one of a picturesque description,










/ K




~Ij) ~




J





KILLING A HORSE.


151


the old gentleman would have derived much more satisfaction
from a sight of her liege lord. He looked in all directions
round the room, with the vague idea that his prisoner might
start up from behind a chair or table; but no such phenomenon occurred, and the conclusion forced itself upon him that
he had been made the victim of misplaced confidence; in other
words, that Willis had escaped by the aid of his devoted wife
and her treacherous basket.    An auger, concealed   in its
depths, had been smuggled in, and used in boring off the doorhinges, and now lay on the floor.
" Mrs. Willis," cried the now indignant jailor, "Mrs. Willis, I say!"  But the slumberer stirred not, and he repeated
the call in louder tones,-" Mrs. Willis, where's your husband?"
Rising up on one elbow, and looking about the room, apparently much confused, she replied,
" Where's my husband? have you taken him away without
letting me know it?"
She steadily refused to give any information concerning the
time or mode of his escape, and was equally careful not to
deny that she furnished the means for securing his exit. She
was therefore arrested and taken before an United States Commissioner, charged with aiding and abetting the escape of a
prisoner; but such was the public sympathy in her behalf,
that she was discharged from custody, and no doubt, soon joined
her husband, who had proved himself so utterly unworthy of
such an affectionate, devoted, and heroic companion.
Not long after this escape, a suit was brought in one of the
lower courts, against a brother of Willis, to recover the value
of a horse killed by hard driving on the night of Willis's disappearance. It was more than surmised that the two circumstances were in some way connected.





CHAPTER VII.


Startling Complaints-Character against Suspicion-The two Clerks
-Exchanging Notes-The Faro Bank-Tracing a Bill-An official
Call-False Explanation-Flight of the Guilty-The fatal DrugThe Suicide-Sufferings of the Innocent-The Moral.
THE close of the year 1839, and the opening of 1840, were
marked in the Post-Office Department with frequent and
startling announcements of the loss, by mail, of valuable letters
from Southern Virginia, and Eastern and Northern North
Carolina, directed to Richmond and other commercial cities
farther North.
These cases, as they reached the Department, were duly prepared and submitted to the Special Agent for investigation.
Search and inquiry were promptly instituted. But for a time
the utmost vigilance failed to obtain any clue to the supposed
embezzlements. The cases of loss continued to multiply; and
at length the Agent's attention was particularly drawn to the
Distributing Post-Office at P.
A circle of numerous facts pointed unmistakably to this
spot as their center and focus. It was here that the lines of
circumstantial evidence from every quarter converged and
met. The post-office at P., therefore, became an object of
special interest in the eyes of the Agent.
However, investigations in this direction proved at first no
more successful than elsewhere. The high integrity of charac.
(152)





THE TWO CLERKS.


153


ter for which the post master was distinguished, and the excellent reputation of his clerks, stood like a wall of adamant in
the way of all evidence and all suspicions.
The Agent seemed destined to be baffled at every point.
Yet a stern truth stared him in the face, and fixed its immovable finger over this Distributing office. Every missing letter,
although reaching P. by various routes, had been mailed at
points South of it for points North of it. Here they must all
concentrate, and here only. It was therefore at this place only
that all the losses could have occurred.
Several days were passed by the Agent in P. and the vicinity,
quietly pursuing his investigations.   No person knew the
secret of his business. He became acquainted with the post
master and his two clerks, studied their characters, and their
social circumstances.
The first was a man of position and competence, whose honor
no breath of calumny had ever dimmed, and who could not
possibly have any motive for periling the peace and prosperity
of his family by a dishonest course. Neither did the unflawed
respectability of the clerks betray any chink or crevice in which
to harbor a doubt.
The elder of these, and the superior in the office, was a
young man of education and refinement. We will call his name
Carleton. His face was frank, his eye steady and clear, his
manners always self-possessed and easy. The Agent liked
and admired him from the first. He learned too that he was
a favorite with all who knew him-that his connections were
among the first families in the State; and that by his talents
and high-toned generous impulses, he had so far nobly sustained
the lustre of his family name.
Another circumstance was greatly in Carleton's favor. Although descended from the "aristocracy," the fortunes of his
family had run somewhat low in the later generations; and
now, his father being dead, he devoted himself zealously to the
maintenance of his aged mother, and the education and support of his only sister.





154


THE SUBJECT BROACHED.


The junior clerk was a youth of minor pretensions. He was
uniformly retiring in his manners. Although by no means a
person of forbidding aspect, there was something measured and
guarded in his movements, far less prepossessing than the free
and chivalrous bearing of Carleton. This apparent prudence
might arise from various causes. The Agent could not believe
that it was the result of a secretive and dishonest disposition.
If such was the case, however, that same discretion had effectually succeeded in covering the poverty of his moral character from public scrutiny.
Foiled at every point where he attempted to hang the sad
burden of criminal facts, the Agent resolved upon striking a
bold and hazardous blow. He sought a private interview with
Carleton.
"Do you know," said he,     that I am here on very delicate
and peculiar business?"
"I had not thought of such a thing," replied Carleton.
"Well, sir, I will tell you. I am convinced that you are
the very man to assist me. If you will, you may do me and
the Post-Office Department a signal service."
" I do not understand you."
" No, but you will.   First, however, give me your pledge
that what I have to divulge shall be held in strictest confidence
and honor by you."
"Certainly," said Carleton, " if you wish it."
The Agent then stated the business that had brought him
to P-.  Carleton expressed some surprise, but cheerfully
promised to afford the Department any assistance and information in his power.
"Have you mentioned the subject to Mr. B.?" he asked.
"Not yet; he is the nominal post master, it is true, but you
have a far more intimate knowledge of the details of the office
than he has. I have another reason for not speaking with him.
I dislike to disturb his confidence until the establishment of
strong proof renders it my duty to do so."





EXCHANGING NOTES.


155


" You can speak to me with perfect plainness," said Carleton.
S"I trust so," replied the Agent. "And I am sure you will
do all you can to set me right, if I am going wrong. Nor will
you, I am convinced, suffer me to injure an innocent person
in your estimation. To come to the point, then, I wish you
to open your inmost thoughts, and tell me if you regard it as
possible that your fellow-clerk can be guilty of these depredations upon the mails."
"You shock me," said Carleton, not without emotion.
" Speak freely," continued the Agent.
"Why, I could almost as soon think of suspecting Mr. B.
himself," exclaimed the other.   4I believe Howard to be
perfectly honest."
"Certainly, I know nothing to the contrary; and I sincerely
hope your judgment is well founded. But," continued the
Agent, "our public duty should not be altogether biassed by
private opinion. You will not, therefore, fail to unite with me
in tracing the embezzlements to their true souree, no matter
at whose door the blame may be laid."
"I will do all in my power," said Carleton.  "Although I
would be almost willing to pledge my own reputation that the
losses have occurred outside of the office, I will use every exertion to discover any dereliction from duty that may come within
my sphere of observation."
The Agent expressed his thanks for the clerk's ready promise of co6peration, and took his leave.
Meanwhile he did not neglect other measures that he had
adopted for tracing the robberies. By a singular coincidence,
within an hour after this conversation with Carleton, he was
able to seize a certain clue, which he had long been in search
of, and despaired of obtaining.
On his return to the hotel, the landlord thus addressed him:
"You asked me if I could give you any more large bills, in
exchange for small ones. I think I can accommodate you this





156


THE FARO BANK.


morning. I have a one hundred dollar bank-note, which, if
you are sending money by mail, will be very convenient."
"c Thank you," replied the Agent; " it will be a great accommodation."
The landlord passed the bank-note over the counter. One
can imagine the Agent's secret triumph on discovering, at last,
one of the very bills he was in search of, one that had been
lost in a letter passing that post-office only a week before;
and of which he had an accurate description from the Department.
Having made the purchase, he held the bank-note up to the
light.
"I suppose you will warrant this paper to be genuine?" he
suggested.
"There is no doubt about it, sir," said the landlord.
"Of course you know from whom you had it?"
"To be sure! I took it of one of my boarders this morning,
Captain Wilkins."
" I have no doubt but the bill is good," said the Agent,
putting it in his pocket.  "You are sure you had it of the
Captain?"
"0, yes! 'twasn't an hour ago he gave it to me."
" By the way, who is this Captain Wilkins?   He's a very
gentlemanly-appearing fellow."
" 0, he's a capital fellow!" said the landlord.
"What's his business?"
"' He keeps a faro bank."
To a Northern reader, the two clauses of this statement may
seem inconsistent with each other. But allowance must be
made for the freedom of Southern manners and society. To
bet at a faro bank is considered no serious stain upon the
honor and respectability of gentlemen in Southern cities. The
keeper of a faro bank may pass, as we have seen, for a
" capital fellow."  But the Agent felt pained to know from
what source the landlord had obtained the bill. Already a
dark picture of temptation and crime arose before his eyes.





TRACING A BILL.


157


It is a significant and too often a tragical word-the Faro
Bank i
Captain Wilkins had gone to ride. The Agent pretended
to transact a little business, mailed two or three letters, and
read the newspapers until his return. The rattling of a lightwheeled buggy before the hotel steps announced the expected
arrival.
Captain Wilkins-a soberly-dressed and polite individual,
whom one might have taken for a clergyman-stepped out of
the vehicle, accompanied by a friend, pulled off his drivinggloves as he entered the house, and lighted a fresh cigar at
the bar.
The Agent took an early occasion to accost him.
"Can I speak with you a moment?"
" Certainly," said Captain Wilkins. The two walked aside
together. The Agent exhibited the bank-note.
" Did you ever see that paper before?"
"Yes, and very recently. I passed it with the landlord
this morning."
"As the bill is of so high a denomination, you probably
remember from whom you received it?"
" Perfectly well. I had it last night from one of the postoffice clerks, who was betting at my bank, and for whom I
changed it."
C' May I ask from which one?"
"0, from Carleton. He is a reliable fellow. Have you any
doubts about the bill?"
"No, if you are sure you had it of Carleton."
"I am sure of that."
"You could swear to it as the identical bank-note?"  Captain Wilkins glanced at the paper again.
"It's the identical rag," said he; "I can take my oath
of it."
This startling revelation gave a different phase to the business. The finger of discovery seemed to point directly at the
senior clerk. Again the Agent, on leaving Wilkins, recalled
Carleton's every look and word, in the conversation he had with
14





158


VISIT TO THE FAMILY.


him that morning. He could not recall the faintest indication of guilt. And he could not but hope that the young man
was as innocent as he appeared; and that circumstances would
prove him so. However, there was no way left but to follow
the thread of evidence he had so far successfully traced.
Ile strolled towards the post-office, and found Howard there
alone.
"Where is your brother-clerk?" he asked.
"He went to dinner about five minutes ago,-rather earlier
than usual."
"Very well; perhaps you can do my business for me. I
mailed a letter here this morning, which I would like to recover from the mails, if it has not already gone out." A description of the letter was given. All this was done to prevent
Howard from suspecting the Agent's real business with Carleton. The letter had gone, as the inquirer well knew, and he
left the office.
But now his pace was quickened. He knew not what might
be the result of his interview with Carleton. It was a significant fact that he had gone to dinner at an earlier hour than
usual. If guilty, what more natural than that he should take
that opportunity of destroying any evidence of his guilt to be
found among his papers at home?
The Agent had already learned where Carleton lived, and he
hastened at once to his house.
The young man's mother received him in a truly lady-like
and hospitable manner.
" He just came in," said she, graciously. "Sit down, I will
have him called. He remarked that he had some trifling affair
to attend to before dinner, and immediately went to his chamber. You may speak to him, Sarah."
" I have only a word to say to him," replied the visitor.
"Perhaps it will be as well for me to go to his room, instead
of calling him down."
"As you please. My daughter will show you the way."
Sarah, a beautiful and stately girl of eighteen, conducted





CARLETON AT HOME.


159


the caller to her brother's chamber, and knocked at the door.
Presently Carleton appeared. A slight paleness overspread his
features on recognising the Agent, but without losing his selfpossession, he invited him to enter the chamber.
" I have strange feelings on seeing you i" he observed in a
very natural tone of voice. "What you said to me about
Howard, has troubled me more than I would have thought it
possible. Take a seat. Do you smoke?"
" Not before dinner," replied the Agent. He made a rapid
observation of the chamber, as he sat down. "You are very
comfortably situated here."
" I have nothing to complain of. We live rather humbly,
but we are not ambitious."
Carleton then spoke of his mother and sister, in a manner which touched his visitor deeply. Could it be possible,
thought the latter, that he was destined to destroy the peace
of that happy family?   He shrank with indescribable repugnance from the performance of his duty; but it inexorably
urged him to finish what he had begun, and he produced the
fatal bank-note.
"C Not to detain you," said he, 1"I have some question in
my mind with regard to a bill I took this forenoon. I have
been referred to you as the person who passed it. Will you
see if you recognise it?"
Again the swift pallor swept over Carleton's face; but this
time it was more marked than before, and his fingers trembled
as he examined the bill.
"' Certainly," said he, " I recognise it. It's a note I changed
with Captain Wilkins last night."
" It also happens," observed the Agent, "to be a note which,
according to an accurate description I have of it, was recently
lost in the Southern mails. This is as painful to me, Mi
Carleton, as it is unexpected; and I hope you will be able
satisfactorily to account for the manner in which you obtained
this money."
"It is still more painful to me than it can be to you," replied Carleton; "and heaven knows I heartily wish I could





160


FALSE EXPLANATION.


not tell how that bill came into my possession. I remembered
it, after you left me this morning; and I had a presentiment
that trouble would come out of it. I am afraid, sir," Carleton added, after some hesitation,--" I am afraid your suspicions of Howard will prove too well founded!"
"' Do you mean to say, that Howard is responsible for that
bill?"
" I will tell you all I know about it, sir. I yesterday sold
a colt I had been training the past season. He proved too
high-spirited for our use, and I preferred to own a horse my
mother and sister would not be afraid to ride after. I sold it
to a neighbor of ours, Mr. Fellows. He was to pay me one
hundred dollars down,--and this is the money he gave me."
Carleton hesitated. The Agent begged him to proceed, as
no time was to be lost.
"I was trying to recall the conversation that passed between
Mr. Fellows and myself. It was to this effect:
"' I'd quite as lief you would give me small bills, if convenient,' said I, ' for I shall have several little sums to pay out
of this in a day or two.'
"He replied that he could do no better by me, and added
that he thought Howard would like to change it for me.
'How so?' said I.
"'1 You remember,' said he, 'that Howard bought a house
lot of me, some time ago. The last payment came due yesterday. He seemed reluctant to part with this bill, and said
if I would wait, he would give me specie for it in a day or
two.' Something more was said about Howard's good luck in
making payments for the house lot, so promptly, and so we
parted."
"Where will I find this Mr. Fellows?" asked the Agent.
"I saw him not ten minutes ago enter a store in the village."
"You are sure he will corroborate your statement?'
'There's no doubt of it. He's a plain, practical man, who
tells a straight-forward story."





FLIGHT OF THE GUILTY


161


- "Come, then," said the Agent, "we will go and find
him."
Carleton readily assented, and the two left the chamber.
c I've a little business to transact before dinner, mother,"
said the young man, as they passed out.    If I am not back
in a quarter of an hour, do not wait for me."
But little difficulty was experienced in finding Mr. Fellows.
He was such a person as Carleton had described; but he
turned out to be very deaf, and the Agent deemed it expe.
dient to retire with him and Carleton to some secure place,
where their loud talking would not be overheard. The clerk
proposed that they should make use of the private room of
the post-office. The Agent readily agreed to this, for he was
somewhat anxious to make sure of Howard; and he now
resolved that the latter should be present at the interview.
This plan was also proposed by Carleton, and when they had
arrived at the post-office, the senior clerk informed the junior,
in a low and serious tone, that his presence was requested in
the private apartment.
" But who will attend in the office?" asked Howard.
"I'll speak to one of the clerks in the store; they accommodate us very often in this way," Carleton added, addressing
the Agent.   " It's only around the corner."
The thought struck the Agent that it would be safe enough
to accompany Carleton. But to do so, it would be necessary
to leave Howard, who, if guilty, might by this time have suspected the danger at hand. Besides, it seemed not at all
probable that Carleton could have any motive for attempting
an escape. His position in society, his family circumstances,
his frank and manly demeanor,-everything tended to disarm
suspicion. Furthermore, nothing could be more satisfactory
than the story he had related of the manner in which he obtained the fatal bill. He was accordingly suffered to leave the
office. As there were persons passing in and out, the Agent
did not consider it proper to broach the important subject until
Carleton's return.
14 *





162


THE FATAL DRUG.


But some minutes passed, and he did not reappear.
"I thought he said he had only to go around the corner,"
said the Agent.
"It is probable," Howard replied, " that the boys have
gone to dinner. In that case, if your business is important,
he has possibly gone to call the post master himself."
A quarter of an hour passed. Carleton had had time to
walk to Mr. B.'s house and back, but still he did not make
his appearance. The Agent grew uneasy. He waited five
minutes longer, then resolved upon a decisive step.
"Mr. Fellows," he cried, in the deaf gentleman's ear,
"did you ever see that bill before?" Fortunately, Mr. Fellows' sight was good, though his hearing was bad. He examined the paper without spectacles, and decided at once that
he then and there saw it for the first time.
"Did you not buy a horse of Carleton yesterday?"
" No," said Mr. Fellows; "I have talked of selling his
mother a pony, but I never bought anything of him."
The truth flashed upon the Agent's understanding. For
his credit let it be declared, Carleton had played his game
with a consummate art that would have deceived "the very
elect."
No time was lost in obtaining traces of the young man's
flight. The Agent judged rightly, from his character, that
he would not attempt to leave town. He anticipated a more
melancholy fate for the unhappy youth. Some inward prompting seemed to direct him to an apothecary's shop not many
doors distant, and on inquiry he learned that Carleton had just
been there.
"Which way did he go?"
"In fact, I am not certain he has gone," said the druggist.
"He purchased some medicines, remarking that he wished to
write out some directions for its use, and stepped into the back
room. I have been very busy, and he may have passed out
without my seeing him."





THE SUICIDE.


163


The Agent sprang forward. The door was locked upon the
inside.
"What medicine did you sell him?" asked the Agent.
"Oh! you needn't be alarmed, he has studied medicine,
and knows how to use these things."
" He knows how to use them too well! This door must be
forced. His life depends upon it,-if it is not already too
late!"
Too late, indeed, it was!
On breaking into the room, Carleton was found lying upon
the floor, with an empty vial beside him, and an unfinished
letter to his sister on the table.
In that letter he confessed his guilt, and besought his sister
not only to support the mortal affliction he had brought upon
her, with fortitude, but also to sustain and console their mother.
The young man was not yet dead. Medical assistance was
speedily procured, but all efforts to save his life proved unavailing. He was already past consciousness, and never spoke
again.
A veil should be drawn to exclude the scene of horror,
agony, and distress that awaited his family. The brokenhearted mother survived the tragical interruption of her late
happy days but a few months. And though the sister was
afterwards happily married, it is said that, from the date of
her brother's disgraceful end, a continual cloud of melancholy
rested upon her mind during the remainder of her life. She
has since passed into that land where kindred souls are destined to meet again; and these allusions to her sad family history will give her no pain.
The secret of Carleton's lapse from virtue is soon told; and
the lesson is one that every youth, who considers himself
secure from temptation, should heed and carefully remember.
The devil never boldly enters the citadel of rectitude, at the
outset. He first walks around, and passes by; then holds a
parley, and "makes the worse appear the better reason;" and
ends by gaining permission to walk in just once, promising





164


THE MORAL.


thenceforward to cease his solicitations, and keep aloof. But
once admitted, he goes artfully to work to destroy all our defences, and before we are aware of it, he is a permanent occupant of the castle.
Such was undoubtedly Carleton's experience. He was not
a hardened sinner. He was truly a man of generous and noble
impulses. But little transgressions of the stern law of conscience had in his boyhood weakened his moral force, and prepared him for more serious offences. Then, in an unguarded
hour, he formed an attachment for a fascinating, but gay and
heartless woman, under whose influences his soul fell from the
truth and purity of manhood. It was her hand which indirectly administered the deadly drug that destroyed his life.
To meet her necessities for dress and dissipations, he resorted
to the faro bank. Although fortunate at first, he afterwards
lost extensively, and became pecuniarily embarrassed.      He
borrowed money, which he was unable to return. Only one
course seemed open to him, to save his honor in the public eye.
At first, he purloined cautiously and abstemiously from the
mails, hoping, no doubt, that success at the faro bank would
swell those unlawful gains, and cancel the necessity for further depredations.
But let us not pursue the sad topic. The end we have seen,
and we will hasten to turn the last leaf of this melancholy
chapter.





CHAPTER VIII.


A NIGHT IN A POST-OFFICE.
Midnight Mails-Suspected Clerk-A trying Position-Limited View
-A " crack" Agent-Sneezing-" Counter Irritation"-The Night
Bell-Fruitless Speculations-Insect Orchestra-Picolo introduced
-Snoring-Harmless Accident-The Boot-black-A tenanted Boot
-The Exit.
SOME years ago, the post-office of a prominent city in Western
New York became involved in a series of mail depredations,
and at length it was apparent that some one of three clerks
who had slept in the office, must be guilty of committing them;
but the fastening of the charge upon the delinquent was a
thing yet to be accomplished. By various processes, the range
of suspicion was narrowed down till it rested upon one of the
clerks, and it only remained to get the legal proof of his guilt.
Packages were missed that were known to have reached the
office by the midnight mails. The clerks took turns in getting
up to receive these mails, each one performing his duty for a
week in succession, the one who for the time attended to it,
sleeping on a cot in the post-office proper, and the other two
occupying a small apartment at some little distance from the
main office, but connected with it.
It had also been ascertained that the packages were abstracted
from a particular mail-pouch which arrived with many others
(165)





166


A TRYING POSITION.


about midnight, and remained unassorted till morning. On a
certain occasion, when the suspected clerk was upon duty, an
exact description of everything in that pouch was taken, upon
the cars from the West, with the view of comparing the list
of its contents with the post bills which should be found on
the files of the office the following morning, these bills having
heretofore disappeared with the packages.
As I had before this had good reason to know that magistrates and jurors in that section of the country very properly
required pretty conclusive evidence for conviction in such cases,
I determined, in addition to other expedients, to take the post
of private watchman inside the office, for one night at least,
that I might obtain, by ocular demonstration, sufficient proof
against the guilty one, to satisfy the most incredulous court
and jury.
One of the unsuspected clerks was sent away that night,
and the other, in whom I had the utmost confidence, was
apprised of my intentions. By him I was let into the office
through a private door, before the object of our machinations
had entered; and I was not long in selecting a suitable place
where I could see without being seen, behind an open door
leading from the post master's private room. This position
could command (through the crack of the door) a fair view of
the aforesaid cot and its occupant.
It was not long before the individual arrived who was to be
honored with my scrutiny during the live-long night; and as
he " wrapt the drapery of his couch about him," I could not
avoid making a momentary comparison between the luxury
about to be enjoyed by him, and the wearisome hours upon
which I was entering. Well,
"Some must watch, while some must sleep;
Thus runs the world away."
Sitting in the public stocks,-watching with the body of a
person who has died of some contagious disease,-being cornered by a bore, when you have an immediate engagement





SNEEZING.


167


elsewhere,--waiting your turn in a dentist's office,-all these
are somewhat trying to the nerves; but for a real test of their
power of endurance, commend me to a stand behind a door,
between the hours of 10 p. M. and daylight; the thermometer
ranging from 80 upwards, all motion and sound being forbidden,
under the imminent risk of being discovered in your hiding
place, and forced to retreat ignominiously.
This is a faint picture of the situation of the author on the
night in question. Zeal for the public good, and a cracker or
two, alone sustained him through the tedious night watches.
The proverb says that "a great deal can be seen through a
small hole."  My sphere of vision, however, was rather limited,
embracing only a portion of the adjoining room, faintly lighted
by a hanging lamp, the cot with its sleeping burden, a table,
and the dimly seen tiers of letter boxes forming a back-ground.
Entirely in keeping with this scene of "still life," was the
monotonous buzz of sundry flies of a rowdyish disposition, who,
not content with tickling the noses of peaceable citizens, and
otherwise harassing them during the day, must needs " keep
it up" through the hours devoted to repose by insects of more
steady habits. However, they might have been engaged in
the praiseworthy occupation of soothing one another to rest by
their 1" drowsy hum," for I myself began to feel its soporific
influence, and to bless " the man who first invented sleep,"
but anathematize (inwardly) him who was preventing it.
I was roused from this sleepy condition by a slight irritation
in the Schneiderian membrane; in other words, I began to
feel a desire to sneeze. Now, sneezing is an operation which
admits of no compromise. You must either "go the whole
hog," or entirely refrain. Any attempt to reduce the force
of the explosion is as unavailing as was the Irishman's effort
to "fire aizy" when he was touching off the cannon. So the
annoying inclination must be nipped in the bud, if I wished
to preserve my secrecy inviolate, and prove that I was 1" up to
snuf.'"
Accordingly I called to mind (as far as I was able) and





168


THE NIGHT BELL.


practised all the expedients of which I had ever heard, besides
others entirely original, for allaying this titillation. I rubbed
the bridge of the nose; I would have slapped myself on the
forehead, had I not feared the remedy would prove worse than
the disease in respect of noise. I instituted experiments in
" counter irritation," by pulling my hair, pinching my ear,
and thus diverting attention from   the rebellious organ; and
finally I succeeded in subduing this refractory member. The
uneasiness I felt lest, after all, I should be compelled to wake
the echoes of the building, as well as other more tangible creations, were in some degree dispelled by several hearty snores
which proceeded from the sleeper, and, like the guns which
announce the arrival of a vessel in port, gave evidence that he
had arrived in the land of dreams.
Under the cover of this "feu de joie," I dispatched a
cracker (not a fire-cracker) which I happened to have in my
pocket, as my inner man began to feel the effects of my unwonted position and consequent weariness.
At about midnight, a sudden peal of the bell, pulled by the
mail carrier, at a back door, aroused the sleeper, who started
up, went to the door and received the mail, and, after a little
delay, returned to his bed, not, however, to sleep as quietly as
before, as he often rolled over from  side to side, occasionally
uttering a groan.
Having nothing better to do, I speculated on the cause of
these phenomena. They might be owing, first, to heat, second,
to a disordered stomach, or third, to an uneasy conscience.
As to the first of these supposed causes, it seemed improbable that his recent visit to the door in a very airy costume,
should have had any tendency to increase the animal heat;
and as regarded the second theory, my knowledge of his dietetic habits was too limited to furnish me with data for anything like an argument. If his short delay at the door after
receiving the mail bags, was produced by any cause for which
conscience might properly goad him, the last hypothesis might
be correct,-but on the whole I was obliged to follow the ex




"IL7. 'ý










INSECT ORCHESTRA.


169


ample of many profounder theorists, and confess that I didn't
know much about the matter.
A combination of the stomach and conscience suppositions,
might be an adequate solution of the question, for the slender
salary of a post-office clerk hardly sufficed for more than three
meals a day, and the inference from these premises would
be rather easy that a fourth must have been at the public
expense.
Here my reflections came to an untimely end, for the insect
orchestra, of whose performances I have spoken, was reinforced
by the addition of a picolo, in the shape of one of those minute
specimens of creation commonly called mosquito, whose note,
" most musical, most melancholy," blended with the trombone
of the blue bottle fly in a manner rather more curious than
pleasing. And the different sounds produced by these insects
were no less unlike than their modes of approaching their
victims; the latter, with bull-headed obstinacy, bouncing
against your face in a blundering way, with apparently no
particular object excepting that of making himself generally
disagreeable, while the former, lighting upon you as delicately
as a snow flake, proceeds with admirable promptitude and
definiteness of purpose to take out his lancet, and, like some
never-failing humorist, is always " in the vein."
The tones of this insect }Eolian rose and fell for a little
time at a distance, but I was speedily aware of its presence in
immediate proximity to my ear, and apparently making a tour
of observation around my head, whereupon I commenced a
blind sort of defence by flourishing my hands as noiselessly as
possible round the region invaded, to as little purpose, however, as the attack of regular troops upon a body of Indians;
for in a moment the music ceased, and I felt the sharp prick
which informed me that I was hit, and I instinctively inflicted
an energetic slap upon the spot, by which my enemy was extinguished, and one bill at least effectually cancelled. This
result was not attained without a report, which so violently
broke the silence, that I stood for a moment in breathless
15





170


HARMLESS ACCIDENT.


suspense, fearing that the sound would penetrate into the
realms of Morpheus, and that thus I might pay too dearly for
my triumph. But the sleeper "made no sign," and I was
again left to my solitary musings.
A small pistol which I had observed my sleeping friend
place under his head, on going to bed, did not tend to increase
the comforts of my position, for since he had become so restless, the thought passed through my mind that he might have
heard some suspicious noise in my direction, and was feigning
sleep, while on the watch for its repetition. If this were the
case, the discovery of a supernumerary on the premises, might
lead to a hasty assault on the supposed midnight prowler, and
also a more rapid transfer of the contents of the pistol to me
than would be either agreeable or wholesome, before I could
offer any reasonable explanation for my presence behind the
door at such an unseasonable hour.
After a while, however, a renewal of the snoring, which was
occasionally echoed by the occupant of the adjoining room,
assured me of the absence of belligerent intentions, and the
buzzing of the flies before mentioned, with the ticking of a
clock in the office, were the only additional sounds that broke
upon the silence.
About two o'clock, a slight accident occurred to me, which,
however, did no harm. In reaching for a pitcher of water that
stood on the table near by, I knocked off a book, which must
have been poised on the corner of the table. I immediately
imitated, by scratching, the gnawing of a rat in the wall, so
that if the falling of the book had aroused the sleeper, he
would have attributed both the noises to the imaginary animal.
But few sounds outside the building were heard, save the
occasional drunken shout of some votary of Bacchus, reeling
home to disgrace his family with his presence; and the measured
strokes of the city clocks, as they told off the long, long hours.
But the most ludicrous circumstance happened just about
daylight,-that is, daylight outside, for within the office it was
still dark, as all the blinds were closed. I was startled by a





THE EXIT.


171


sudden rap on the door of the post master's room which opened
into the main hall, soon followed by another even more energetic. The clerk in the bed-room jumped from his bed and
passed by me to open the door. Fearing that I should be discovered, I darted into the bed-room without his knowledge,
and before he had returned. The truth is, he was not more
than half awake, and had forgotten me entirely.     He had
admitted a colored man to get the boots which required his
polishing touch, and then returned to bed again.
This gentleman of color, who by the way proved to be a
trusty porter employed in several of the offices in the building,
proceeded first to the side of the cot to get the boots there,
and then made for the bed-room, into which I had retreated.
In feeling about the floor to find the remaining " leathern conveniences," he seized one of mine!   " I've got my foot in it
now," thought I; but by a gentle and dexterous movement I
succeeded in withdrawing the exposed covering from his partial grasp, without his discovering the existence of a leg
within. Whether it was fright at the touch of the tenanted
boot, or something else, that made him leave the premises so
suddenly, I have never been fully satisfied. I went out myself soon after, leaving both clerks sound asleep.
What occurred on that night beyond that which I have
already described, or how the investigation terminated, I am
confident the reader will not insist upon knowing, when I assure him that there are special reasons, affecting public as well
as private interests, why I should make no further disclosures.
Though this was not the last night which I have spent in
post-offices for similar purposes, yet I have never repeated the
experiment under circumstances requiring quite so severe
restraints, and such abridgment of personal liberty.





CHAPTER IX.


Throwing off the Cars-Fiendish Recklessness-The Boot-TracksA Scamp among the Printers-Obstruction removed-A RuseThe Boots secured-"- Big Jobs"-The Trial-Unreliable Witness--
A Life-Sentence.
IN the narrations of mail robberies which we have thus far
given, their perpetrators, though bold and unscrupulous, have
not often plotted the destruction of human life in order to further
their projects. But in the case we are about briefly to relate,
murder on a large scale was coolly contemplated for the sake
of the facilities which would be afforded to the plunderers of
the mail, by the confusion, distress, and preoccupation which
necessarily follow the throwing of cars from a railroad track.
The certain destruction of property and the probable loss of
life which would be caused by the successful execution of their
plans, were nothing to these atrocious scoundrels, as long as
by these means plunder might be brought within their grasp.
Rather more than a year ago, on a certain day in March, '
the locomotive of a mail train upon one of the Western railroads
was thrown from the track by a "T" rail, which was placed
with one end against a tie, so that the other, projecting somewhat upward, was struck by the engine. This occurred near
a city in one of the Western States. No one on the train was
injured, and whoever placed the obstruction failed in accomplishing his purpose, if that was to rob the mail.
No person was particularly suspected of the deed, but
(172)





THE BOOT-TRACKS.


173


tracks made by a boot of peculiar shape, with rows of large
nails around the soles and heels, were found in the soft clay
in the neighborhood of the spot, and an impression of them
was taken for future reference. On the same day the Superintendent of the road received a letter, of which the following
is a copy.
Adrian, March 7, 1854.
Sir: I have for the last few days written five or six notes to send
you, but as often I have changed my mind and concluded to let the
information that I wish to convey you, lie buried in obscurity.
But the late act of villany that was committed I may say within sight
of our city, forces me to disclose to you information that I received a
few days ago of the formation of a gang of rascals who have combined
together to commit, I may say, wholesale murder, and other criminal
acts, by obstructing the passage of trains and endangering the same
on the M. S. & N. R. R. This gang of villains is under the management of two men that are now known to me. The subject came to my
knowledge by an offer from them of a large sum of money if I would
take part with them in their intended villany.
This I refused, and scornfully regarded their proposals to have
anything to do with them. I further threatened to expose them if
they should attempt at any time to carry their intentions into effect,
and one of them said if I should ever disclose to any one their intentions, that it would be certain death to me. I cannot in this note
explain to you the information I wish to convey in full; but should
you answer by dropping a line in the post-office to me, I will, if you
wish, disclose to you the names of the parties; in fact, I will give you
all the information that I can of the parties and their intended plot,
on condition that you will give a liberal reward. I would be able to
point them out or describe them so that they might be arrested. I
am satisfied one of them has in his trunk documents that would disclose the whole matter.
I hope you will keep this subject dark, as I am exposing myself to
great danger by disclosing this to you, and would also expose the
interest of the road by disclosing this subject to the public. Yes,
such would make the road a terror to all.
As I cannot write to any satisfaction, should you wish to know
further about the matter, let me know and I will go to your office
any evening that may be convenient to you.
For the present I remain yours,
15*                                          A. S--





174


A SCAMP AMONG THE PRINTERS.


The author of this document (who here signs a feigned
name) claimed to be a natural son of an English lord celebrated
in literature, and assumed the name of his pretended father.
He seems to have been a man of considerable shrewdness,
though he did not prove to be quite shrewd enough to outwit
the business men and officers of justice with whom he had
to deal.
The Superintendent replied to the letter, requesting an immediate interview. To this B. (the person in question)
returned an answer, stating that he had written to one of the
leaders of the gang in New York, and that he would call on
the Superintendent as soon as he had received a reply, which
might give him further information.
Three or four days after this the interview was held, and
afterwards another in the presence of the attorneys of the
railroad company. On these occasions, B. repeated his story
with some further details, and offered to assist in the detection
of the scoundrels, if he could be assured of a sufficient
reward. There were many suspicious circumstances about
this person, both as respected his appearance and the statements which he made.
It did not seem very probable that any one should have so
intimate a knowledge of the designs of the villains as he
appeared to possess, without being, to some extent at least,
involved in their guilt. Notwithstanding their suspicions,
the officers of the road concluded to engage his services, with
the intention of keeping a sharp lookout upon him. He gave
the names of several persons as concerned in the scheme, and
proposed to correspond with some of the leaders and draw from
them disclosures which would cause their detection.
About this time he went to work in a printing office, and
was observed to be irregular in his habits, being much out at
nights. He had occasional interviews with Mr. S. (one of the
Attorneys above mentioned,) rather respecting what he had
not discovered than what he had, and sometimes showing letters that he pretended to have received, threatening his life





OBSTRUCTION REMOVED.


175


unless he left the country. These interviews, however unfruitful they were in available information, led to a result which
was not anticipated by the cunning B.
Had this individual narrowly observed all the surroundings
of the lawyer's office, he would have seen a quantity of fresh
damp sand strewed upon the walk in front, through which he
was obliged to pass on entering. Of course he thought nothing of it; hardly any one would; but the impressions which
his boots made on that sand were found to correspond exactly
with those obtained from the clay at the scene of the xailroad
accident before mentioned!
One evening, about three weeks after the accident on the
railroad, B. rushed into the office of the railroad company in
breathless haste, and informed the Assistant Superintendent
that he had been applied to by a certain person to put obstructions on the track a little West of the city, to catch the 9 P.
M. mail train West; but had got away from him and hurried
to the office to give this information. The Assistant Superintendent and others immediately went up the road about two
miles, and found obstructions placed in the spot indicated, and
removed them. When the train passed, the light in front of
the locomotive showed several men running into the woods.
This was the third instance of attempted obstruction to the
mail trains upon this road, within less than a month (one
having occurred previously to that first mentioned, causing,
however, but slight damage,) and it was ascertained that there
were considerable amounts of money in the mail on each of
those occasions.
It may be remarked in passing, that although B. had
notified the company in advance, of actual obstructions, and
had given the names of the parties concerned, yet no progress
seemed to be made in detecting the guilty individuals. It was
evidently his policy to obtain money from the company as the
price of his disclosure, and yet to manage so that no discovery
would result.
In the mean time, the Post-Office Department had been





176


THE BOOTS SECURED.


informed of these facts, and an experienced and skilful police
officer in Chicago was appointed Special Mail Agent to investigate the matter. He very soon came to the conclusion that
whoever the other guilty persons might be, B. was "one
of 'em" to all intents and purposes. As we have before
stated, B. had said that one of the leaders was in New York,
and at the request of the company's attorney, B. wrote a
letter to him.
The Chief of Police of New York was written to, and
requested to station an officer at the post-office to watch for
and arrest the party who should call for the letter, but during
the time which elapsed between the arrival of the letter
and the officer who was to watch outside the post-office, the
letter disappeared, and even before any one connected with
the New York post-office had been apprised of the arrangement.              T
Four days afterwards, B. informed one of the company's
attorneys that the man in New York had received the letter
and sent him a verbal answer to the effect, that he had better
write no more by mail, "as the letters might get lost." Mr.
P., the Chicago police officer, went in company with a lawyer
to New York, with the design of finding the man to whom
the letter was addressed. Their efforts, however, though assisted
by the Chief of Police, and the Special Agent for the New
York district, were unavailing.
It was ascertained that he had paid his passage to Liverpool
on the ship Washington, but having been asked a casual question by one of the officers of the vessel, concerning his relationship to a certain Englishman, he had forfeited his passagemoney, and disappeared.
Having returned to the West, Mr. P., the government Agent,
determined to arrest B., which he effected, and, without his
knowledge, obtained possession of his boots, which had already
supplied such important evidence against him.
He displayed much virtuous indignation, and talked largely





A RUSE.


177


of his wealth, respectability, and high standing in society; but
all this availed him nothing, and he was committed to jail.
Although he had arrested B., yet Mr. P. doubted whether
he had sufficient evidence to convict him, and determined to
condemn him out of his own mouth. Accordingly he made
arrangements with a deputy sheriff of Milwaukie, to play the
part of prisoner, and thus to obtain the rascal's confidence.
Agreeably to this arrangement, when B; entered the prison,
he found the deputy sheriff already in his cell, apparently a
fellow victim to the demands of justice. For about four weeks
this gentleman was most of the time in the cell with B., representing himself as an " express robber;" conducting himself
in such a turbulent manner that B. supposed the time of his
absences was passed in the dungeon.
For some time, however, he failed in extracting any disclosures from B., who confidently expected that his connection
with the railroad company would protect him. After he had
been in prison about three weeks, B. was informed that his
arrest had been made by an United States officer, who intended
to make his boots convict him of obstructing the mail train,
and that the railroad company were powerless to shield him
from punishment for acts committed (as this had been) previous to his employment by them.
He now saw his danger, and, on returning to his cell with
his supposed fellow prisoner, who had assumed the name of
Harris, he manifested great agitation. Harris asked what was
the matter. B. hesitated for a while, and at length exclaimed:
4" That rascally P. has stole my boots."
"What if he has?" replied the pseudo Harris.        "They
couldn't be worth much."
4" They are worth considerable to me, I can tell you, for he
means to send me to State prison with them."
" Send you to State prison? What in the world do you
mean? How can your boots send you to State prison?"
" Why, he is going to show that they made the tracks that
were found where the rail was put on the track East of Adrian."





178


" BIG JOBS."


" Well," said Harris, " that looks rather bad, but it isn't as
bad as it might be. You'll get out of it yet, and I'll help you,
if I can. I expect to get bailed out in a day or two, and if I
can do anything for you, I will."
"You are the man for me," said B., "and I shall want you
to come and swear on my trial that you saw a person by the
name of A- put the rail on, and that I wasn't there."
"But if you are innocent," replied Harris, "you will get
clear; and if you are guilty, I don't believe I can help you."
"You must, by heavens," said B.      "If you don't, I'm a
goner!"
Here the conversation ended that day, but the next morning B. directed his fellow prisoner to testify that his name was
Grover, and that on the night on which the obstruction in
question was made, he went with A, and saw him put the
rail on the track. (So minute, by the way, was B.'s description of the place and the manner in which the obstructing
rail was laid, that the deputy sheriff going there afterwards in
company with Mr. P., easily found the spot, and identified the
very tie under which the rail was placed, though it was the
first time he had been there.)
" Well," said Harris, alias Grover, (who seemed to grow
rapidly rich in names,) if I help you out in this way, what
shall I get by it?"
B. replied: "If you get me clear I shall keep the confidence of the railroad company, and will introduce you to a set
of good fellows who do nothing but big jobs, and my connection with the company will enable me to get you a position
where you can pay yourself."
Having by such inducements secured (as he supposed) the
aid of his companion, B. recovered his equanimity, and
wrote as follows to one of the attorneys for the railroad company:"To return to the obstruction east of Adrian in regard to my boots
such as I can prove by J S that I mentioned in my last, by him I can
prove where I was that night, as also where my boots were, and as for





THE TRIAL.


179


the other man's evidence I am sure that I cannot be mistaken as to
my success on trial or examination. I hope you will soon see Mr G
again and be sure to have him at the time. As to the danger of my
going to Adrian for fear I would fall into the hands of the engineers
and firemen in that place, I will say for once and all, let me go to
Adrian-& as to the danger of falling into the hands of rowdies I am
not afraid of no! no! not if all the fiends of Pandemonium was to
raise against me I will not shrink from anything as long as I am
innocent or as long as I can have the protection of the law on my side
Justice! Justice!! is all I claim and that I expect to have before a
Court of justice and an independent & impartial Jury. if I can't
swim there let me sink.
SRes. yours & Others,                                A. S. B.
P. S. I will convince your Engineers & firemen that I was their
friend, and that I have oftentimes run myself into danger for their
safety, as well as that of the Company & the travelling public Yes
& if they or the Co. have any feeling of gratitude in them I am sure
that they will not show it by prosecuting me but first I must prove
"my title clear" & that I can do so Hurra boys, &c., three times three.
Yours truly,              A. S. B."
The railroad company could have no further doubt of his
guilt. It was plain that he had entered their service to betray
them; and though he had given the names of his accomplices,
he had been careful not to catch them.
At his request he was removed to Adrian for trial. He told
his counsel what he should prove by Grover; and was assured
of an honorable acquittal.
At the trial, the counsel for the prosecution examined several
witnesses in relation to the boot-tracks, which, for the time
being, were as interesting to the legal fraternity, as are the
ancient bird-tracks found in sandstone, to geologists.
The defence supposed that the counsel for the prosecution
would there rest, and were confident that they had the game
in their own hands, knowing, as they did, that the evidence
thus far adduced was not sufficient to convict their client.
But the prosecution called   A WTm. B.," (the deputy sheriff,)
when, to the utter astonishment and dismay of the prisoner.
his man Grover took the stand!





180


THE LIFE-SENTENCE.


This unexpected transmutation at once dissipated the dreams
of triumph and future villany in which he had been revelling;
and as "Win. B." testified to the facts in his possession, and
the disclosures of the prisoner, this baffled scoundrel found
the prop on which he had relied falling beneath him, and
plunging him into that gulf from which he had made such
desperate though vain efforts to escape.
He was found guilty on two indictments. On the first, he
was sentenced to imprisonment for life, the judge remarking
that he would suspend sentence on the other till the first had
expired.
The interval between the pilfering of small sums and the
deliberate plotting of wholesale murder for the sake of plunder, seems a wide one; yet no one who enters even the verge
of the maelstrom of a dishonest course, can tell how far within
the vortex he may be drawn by its ever strengthening current.
The case just related forms a culminating point in the series
of villanies which we have recorded in this book for the
benefit of those who, in defiance of the eternal laws of Providence, attempt to make the way of the transgressor easy.





CHAPTER X.


STOPPING A POST-OFFICE.
The Unpaid Draft-The Forged Order-A Reliable Witness-Giving
up the Mail Key-A Lady Assistant-Post-Office Records--The official Envelope-Return of the Post Master-The Interview-Embarrassment of Guilt-Duplicate Circular-Justice secured.
ONE of the coolest and at the same time silliest pieces of
post-office rascality that I have ever known, occurred a few
years since in Rhode Island.
A small draft from the Post-Office Department having been
presented by a mail contractor to the post master of P., payment was refused, on the ground that the office had been
abolished some time before, and that there was little or nothing due the Department. No time was lost by the contractor in apprising the proper officer at Washington, of the
non-payment of the draft, and the reason assigned therefor;
when reference was at once made to the official records.
They, however, failed to show the discontinuance of the office.
Here was a mysterious and singular affair, and a letter was
accordingly despatched to the seemingly delinquent post master, requiring an explanation of his course. A reply to this
was very promptly sent to the Department, to the effect that
some months previous he had received from the Appointment
Office formal notice that his office had been discontinued, ac16                                       (181)





182


THE FORGED ORDER.


companied by an order to hand over all the mail matter remaining on hand, together with the mail key, and other property
of the Department, to a neighboring post master, and that he
had of course answered the demand.
A re-examination of the books still showing the office to
be a "live one," he was written to, and directed to forward
the original document upon the authority of which he had
shut up his office. The papers were duly forwarded, and sure
enough, there was the " Order," signed with the name of the
Second Assistant Post Master General, who was then at the
head of the Appointment Office.      It read as follows:Post-Office Department, March 28, 1846.
SIR,
The Post Master General having decided to discontinue the PostOffice at P-, from and after the expiration of the present fiscal
quarter, you will, at that time, please hand over all mail matter, the
mail key, and all other property belonging to the Department, to the
Post Master at M-, on his presenting this order.
Very Respectfully,
Your Obt. Servant,
Wm. J. BROWN,
2d Asst. P. M. General.
Although a tolerably fair imitation of that officer's handwriting, it was at once pronounced a forgery. My services, as
Special Agent, were called into requisition, and all the facts, as
they then stood, communicated to me. As speedily as possible
I visited the scene of this perplexing and extraordinary official
mystery. Arriving at the site of the late post-office, I found
its former incumbent to be a highly respectable merchant, well
advanced in years, and blessed with one of those countenances
which, to a person at all accustomed to study character in that
way, at once dispels all doubt and distrust. He was of Dutch
descent, and, while intelligent on general subjects, was poorly
"posted" in the arts and devices of cunning knaves.        From
him I received a full statement of the shutting up process,





A RELIABLE WITNESS.


183


and obtained some additional facts, which afterwards furnished
me with a clue to the whole mystery.
On one of the last days of March, Mr. G-, post master
at another village in the same town, called on him ig company
with one of his friends, and presented what purported to be
a copy of an order from the Department, directing him to close
the office, and to give up the property in the manner already
described. Of course the post master felt and manifested
no little surprise, for the office had been established but about
a year, and he had heard of no application or desire in any
quarter for such a proceeding.
"It is all right, I suppose," said he, after carefully examining the "copy" which had been handed him without a word
of explanation; "but I think, before I hand over the property,
I ought to have the original order."
" Oh yes, it's all correct," responded the witness (who had
seen the copy made from the spurious order, supposing that
to be genuine); i I saw it compared with the original myself,
and it's a true copy."
"But the quarter will not be ended till to-morrow," remarked the astonished official; " and, on the whole, I think
I must refuse compliance, unless the original instructions are
placed in my hands."
" Then I understand you as refusing to obey the order of
the Department, do I?" said the applicant.
" Not at all," was the mild response; "I am perfectly ready
to comply when I see the written command over the signature
of the proper officer of the Department. It can be but little
trouble to produce that, and I think, under the same circumstances, you would demand as much yourself."
( But do I not bring a reliable witness to prove that this is
an exact copy of the original?" asked the visitor, impatiently.
"True, but my request is reasonable, and I think I will adhere to it," he replied; and the gentleman, with his companion,
left the premises, simply remarking, "You will hear from me
again, to-morrow." And sure enough, he did.





184


GIVING UP THE MAIL KEY.


Towards sun-down on the following day, the abolisher of
post-offices made his appearance, and, with an air of authority,
without uttering a word, threw the extinguishing document
upon the counter. The post master took it up, and after adjusting his spectacles, examined first the outside. It had the
usual printed endorsement on the right hand upper corner,
"Post-Office Department, Official Business," was properly
franked by the Second Assistant, post-marked " Washington,"
and plainly addressed to the " Post Master, M--, R. I."
On withdrawing the letter from its covering, it had, sure
enough, every appearance of genuineness, and no doubt remained that it was the official action of the Department. The
post-office effects were accordingly put in shape as hastily as
possible, and handed over. But
"( The course of knavery never did run smooth."
Strong suspicions began to arise that the neighboring post
master, before mentioned, was the author of the whole transaction, and when the knowledge of a motive on his part was
supplied, his guilt became to my mind clear and positive.
It appeared that at the time of the establishment of the now
defunct post-office, there was a tremendous opposition, in
which he took an active and leading part, but the member of
Congress for that District favored the application for the new
office, and it was finally granted. Being but two miles from
the old establishment, there was, as had been anticipated, a
considerable falling off in the receipts of the latter. The snake
was "scotched, not killed," or in other words, post master
number one had bottled up his wrath, and was biding his time.
The affair had now become with him a matter of pride -as well
as interest, and when joked, as he frequently was, about his
defeat in the post-office contest, he was often heard to say that
the new post-office was " short-lived any way."
He was quite an active, prominent politician, and when a
new nomination for Congress was to be made, he thought he
saw his way clear. He struggled hard for the selection of a





A LADY ASSISTANT.


185


personal friend, and succeeded, not only in the nomination,
but in the election. But when the pinch came, the Honorable
member failed him, and could not be persuaded to take the
responsibility, for the new post-office had proved really a
great convenience to many of his constituents and to some of
his friends, personal and political.
With the advantage of this information obtained from the
ex-post master and one or two other citizens of that vicinity, I
proceeded to visit the office which at one gulp had swallowed
up the other, without apparent injury to its digestive organs.
The post master was absent, and the office in charge of his
wife. This was a piece of good luck, for it would enable me
to examine the books and papers to greater advantage, and
what was better, to interrogate the lady and her lesser half
separately. Two or three points were very important.
Might not some wicked wag in the Department, knowing
all the circumstances of the case, have prepared the letter in
question, and sent it as a hoax? This could be easily settled
by referring to the account of mails received, for the record in
that event should show the receipt of a free letter, either
direct from Washington, or from the Distribution office at New
York. Then another test, was a comparison of the "order,"
with the hand-writing of the post master. But the most troublesome point of all to reconcile, was, how the official envelope
had been obtained, for that was beyond a doubt genuine.
Introducing myself to the lady assistant, who happened to be
alone in the office, I remarked," I am in pursuit of a letter which should have come here
from New York in March last, and I wish to see if your New
York packages, during that month, were all regularly received.
Where do you keep your transcripts, the books, or sheets, you
know, upon which you copy your post-bills?"
They were taken from a desk and laid before me. Turning
to the record of the month in question, not a single free letter
was entered as received at that office for the last two weeks in
March, from any quarter!
16*





186


THE OFFICIAL ENVELOPE.


" Who made the entries in this book?" I inquired. "My
husband," was the prompt answer.
Having the general style of the "order" in my mind, I
glanced over a few pages of the book, and observed several
peculiarities in the formation of some of the capital letters
which I had noticed in the (to this time) fatherless document.
It was written in bluish ink, and so were the pages of the records made at about the same time,-a trifling circumstance
to be sure, but yet a link in the chain of evidence. The wafer
too, used in sealing, was strikingly similar in size and shade to
those contained in a large box upon the desk. The "order"
was on a half sheet of letter paper of different size and stamp
from the wrapper enclosing it.
It now remained to establish some reasonable theory to account for his possession of a genuine official envelope. Some
farther reflection supplied that theory which in the sequel
proved to be the correct one. The date of the Washington
post-mark I had before noticed, was very indistinct, in fact
could not be made out, although the word "Washington" and
"March" were tolerably plain.    At that time the present
style of envelopes were not much in use by the Department.
Could it not be an old wrapper, or the "fly leaf" of some
former official document from head quarters?  This idea was
certainly favored by the fact that on one side it presented a
ragged appearance as if torn from another half sheet; and if its
fellow could be found on the premises, the two parts must
necessarily fit together, and conclusively show that a branch of
the Appointment office had really been temporarily established
without authority of law, not far from that locality.
It was now late in the afternoon, and the post master still
absent, though momentarily expected home. An invitation
to take tea with the good lady, was the more readily accepted,
from a desire to prevent any comparing of notes between them
with respect to the inquiries and examination already made.
At the table I ventured, for the first time, to broach the sub
ject of the " stoppage" affair.





RETURN OF THE POST MASTER.


187


" I believe the last time I passed over this route, you had
two post-offices in town," I remarked.
"Yes," was the reply, "but it made so much bother, and
did so little good, that it was abolished some months since."
In her manner of receiving this remark, I could discover
no proof of a participation in, or knowledge of the process by
which the rival concern had been gotten rid of. And I might
as well say in this connection as anywhere else, that I have
never in my own official experience, known any instance of a
wife or child being made an accomplice, partner or confidant,
" before the fact," in the commission of serious post-office
offences. Prying ladies have sometimes, however, from curiosity, rather than pecuniary considerations, exhibited a remarkable aptness in getting at the written contents of letters,
without the consent or knowledge of the owners.
The cloth had not long been removed before the post
master's approach was heralded by the scratching at the door
of a large Newfoundland dog, the circumstance being at once
noted by the lady as indicative of the safe return of her husband. In a moment more the sound of the horse's hoofs were
distinctly heard, and as soon as the nag had been passed over
to a boy we had left in the office, the post-office annihilator
entered.
" My dear," says the affectionate wife, " you have got back
once more." And with this salutation she announced her guest,
as " a gentleman who had come to see about some post-office
business."
He eyed me rather closely, and with a much less amiable
expression than he assumed on learning that I was a near relative of his "Uncle Sam," which I saw it was essential to
make known to him, in order to secure decent treatment; for
he was decidedly savage in his looks and manners on the first
introduction, taking me no doubt for some troublesome customer (as I eventually proved to be, by the way,) who had
come to bother him about some trifling affair.
An intimation that I would like to see him at the post-office





188


THE INTERVIEW.


was sufficient. We soon found ourselves there alone, and I
commenced interrogating him thus:" Did you receive notice from the Department in March last
of the discontinuance of the office at P.?"
"I did, and was ordered to take possession of the property
of the Department," he replied. " The old gentleman," said
he, " rather hated to yield; but, when, I showed him the documents, he caved in and made the best of it. The fact is, the
office never ought to have been created at all."
"When did the order reach your hands?" I asked; "and
do you remember the circumstance of its arrival in the mail?"
"I well remember all about it," said he; "I opened the
mail that day myself, as usual. I think it was one of the last
days in March. I shall never forget the astonished look of
neighbor N., as he perused the order converting him into a
private citizen once more."
" He wasn't satisfied with a certified copy of the unwelcome
document, was he?" I remarked.     "And, by the way, what
was the object of serving a copy of the paper on him?"
"Well," he rejoined, with a slight embarrassment, "the
fact is, I thought I had better retain the original for my own
protection, in case of any fuss. He had to have it, however,
before he would shut up shop."
At this juncture I produced the " order," and laying it
before him, requested that he would turn to the entry of a free
letter on his " mails received," at the time of the receipt of
this one. The search was in vain, as I well knew it would be;
and he undertook to explain that circumstance by claiming that
official letters frequently came from Washington without wrapper or post-bill.
By this time he evidently began to construe my inquiries
into a suspicion of his fraudulent conduct; and, as in all such
cases, every attempt to extricate himself only made the matter
worse.
" Come to think of it," said he, "I was absent from home
the day that letter arrived, and on my return I took it from





EMBARRASSMENT OF GUTLT.


189


my private box where my letters are put," at the same time
pointing to a pigeon-hole in a small letter-case over the desk.
"And would your wife open the mail in your absence?" I
inquired.
Receiving an affirmative answer, I requested him to call her,
taking care that they should hold no private conversation.
Exhibiting to her the outside of the letter, I asked if she
recollected taking it from the mail and placing it in the post
master's box. They exchanged glances, and, on the second
look towards him, I was just in time to observe a trifling nod
of the head by way of intimating that she had better say yes.
But she thought otherwise, and was quite positive that if such
a thing had come loose in the bag, at any time when she
opened the mail, she would have noticed it.
" To come right to the point," said I, "this document is
disowned by the Department, and no authority has been given
to any one to discontinue the other office."
A forced laugh from the post master followed this announcement, but the honest wife looked worried.
" Well," he answered, "if it did not come from    the Appointment Office, then some mischievous clerk in the Department may have sent it as an April-fool hoax, as it was near
the first of April; or some one may have slipped it into my
private box unobserved, though no one could well do it unless
it was the boy that you see about here."
"I see no motive that he could have had for doing it," I
observed.
" But he might possibly have been hired to do it," was the
reply.
In accounting for the envelope, it now became an important
point to settle whether or not the post master had been in the
habit of preserving all official circulars from the Department.
If so, and this envelope had been torn from one of them, the
remaining fragment might still come to light as his certain
accuser. A search of the files showed the preservation of all
such documents for two years previous, but nothing appeared
to match the covering of the C"order."





190


DUPLICATE CIRCULAR.


Still believing it was obtained. in that way, I adjourned the
investigation for a few days, and meantime applied to the
Department for duplicates of any printed circulars that had
been sent to this office, and the return mail brought me one
that was so sent, but a few weeks previous to the fraud in
question. Its absence from the post master's files, while all
other similar documents had been carefully saved, was a strong
circumstance to show that a part of it at least had been used
for this dishonest purpose. But the damning proof was yet
to come. In the printed words " Official Business," which
were in capitals on the outside of the duplicate circular, there
was a defect, or " nick" in the letter 0, and the last S, in
business. On comparing this with the covering of the spurious order, exactly the same bruises were found in the same
letters, identifying the one with the other in the most positive manner, as the coincidence would be almost miraculous
of the same type being battered in precisely the same way,
upon circulars printed at different times.
Nor was this all. In folding the circular before the ink was
fairly dry, some parts of the printed words in the body of it
had "struck off" upon the inner side of the " fly leaf,"
which parts of words could, by a strong light, be distinctly
observed upon several lines directly under each other. Referring to the printed page of the entire circulaf received for
examination and comparison, a copy of which was known to
have been sent to this post-office, the same words were found
to occur, and precisely in the same relative positions.
Thus was the final link in the chain of evidence closed and
riveted; a chain which held the guilty one in its unyielding
grasp, and set at nought all attempts at evasion or escape, had
he been disposed to make them. His only alternative was
silence or confession, and of these he chose the latter.
A full report of all the facts above stated was made to the
Department, and the tricky post master soon received an official letter from Washington, concerning whose genuineness
the most sceptical could have no doubt. In this case, " the





JUSTICE SECURED.


191


engineer was hoist with his own petard." In stopping his
neighbor's office he was himself stopped; and, furthermore,
received a reward for his misdeeds, the nature of which any
future post-office stopper will learn by sad experience.
The defunct office was resuscitated, and its former incumbent reinstated in all the rights and privileges of which he
had been deprived by the treachery of his unscrupulous opponent.
Nothing but the most obstinate determination to carry his
point, at all hazards, could have impelled this man to the extreme measures which he adopted for ridding himself of his
rival. Forgery is a crime of sufficient magnitude, one would
think, to deter from its commission any one that is not prepared
to go all lengths in the execution of his designs. And the
present case shows how far pride and self-will may carry a man
who yields to their suggestions, and how small a matter may
be sufficient to raise them to an irresistible height, and create
a tide which may sweep away conscience, and honor, and all
that is valuable in character, to say nothing of an enlightened
regard to self-interest.
The man whose discreditable exploit we have recorded, paid
dearly for his short-lived triumph; and whoever is in danger
of suffering his pride or obstinacy to hurry him beyond the
bounds of prudence and virtue, will do well to " sit down first,
and count the cost."





CHAPTER XI.


Indian Depredations-The model Mail Contractor-Rifles and Revolvers-Importance of a Scalp-Indian Chief reconnoitering-Saving
dead Bodies-Death of a Warrior-The Charge-A proud Trophy.
Sunset on the Prairie-Animal Life--A solitary Hunt-The Buffalo
Chase-Desperate Encounter with an Indian-Ingenious SignalReturning to Camp-Minute Guns-A welcome Return.
PREVIOUS to the year 1850 there was no regular mail
service between the valley of the Mississippi and New Mexico
and Utah Territories. In selling lands to settlers and taking
these communities under the protecting care of the nation, the
Government was bound in good faith to give them a regular
mail. This, like all other mail service, is carried on without
much regard to the question whether the actual receipts from
the locality will be remunerative or not.
The commencement of this service in 1850, called out the
energies of some of our most daring and enterprising business
men. A tract of country nearly one thousand miles in extent
had to be traversed, where there were no civilized inhabitants,
and but one or two military posts.
The Indian tribes, finding their game disappear before the
unerring rifle of the white hunter, and learning the taste of
the luxuries of civilized life without the industry to procure
them, became at first sullen and despairing, then hostile and
revengeful. A detailed account of the " hair breadth 'scapes,"
the dangers, losses, and tragedies in encounters with hostile
(192)





MODEL MAIL CONTRACTOR.


193


Indians, in transporting the United States mails across these
plains, would form one of the most remarkable chapters in the
postal history of the world.
One mail contractor on the route from Independence, Missouri, to Santa F6, by his success in transporting the mails
safely, and his daring and diplomacy with the Indians, has
become eminent among his countrymen, and dreaded by the
hostile tribes whom  he has encountered. The treachery so
fatally prevalent in meetings between 'small bands of whites
and these dark sons of the forest, and the cunning and, boldness displayed in stealing the horses and cattle that belong to
the " pale faces," have made it necessary that great caution
should be used, and also that the Indians should be made to
feel the force of that terrible weapon the modern rifle. The
Indian has long since learned the superiority that the possession of " revolvers" gives to the white hunters. And he has
also learned at what distance it is safe for him to approach the
camp or the traveling party of his foes. They do not consider
that there is much security in any distance less than three
hundred yards, when well mounted and in rapid motion.
The honor attached to the possession of scalps, and the
dismal forebodings attending the loss of a beloved chief, make
all the tribes particularly cautious that their leaders shall not
be too much exposed, and that their slain shall not fall into
the hands of the enemy. A reckless daring displayed by
a chief, always gives him honor with his tribe, and this is
proportioned to the success which attends his efforts and skill,
whether in the offensive or defensive.
The mail contractor before alluded to, is a man of great
humanity as well as courage, and prefers making now and then
a terrible example, rather than wage an indiscriminate warfare
with tribes inveterately hostile.
After the tragic occurrences attending the capture and
terrible death of Mrs. White, with several others in a party of
California eaigrants near Santa FR, the Indians, emboldened
by success, seemed to feel that they had the power and did
17





194


RIFLES AND REVOLVERS.


not lack the will to drive all white travelers from the plains.
Our "model mail contractor," in addition to the heavy responsibility of conveying from fifteen hundred weight to a ton
and a half of the United States mails, often had intrusted to
his care, coin and gold dust in considerable quantities, and the
lives and effects of numerous passengers.
A  usual "mail train" consisted of three covered wagons,
with elliptic springs, each drawn by six mules, guarded by
eight or ten men, and carrying perhaps as many passengers.
Thirty miles a day was a usual drive, and this gave several
hours' rest in every twenty-four. By having plenty of Sharp's
rifles, and Colt's six-shooting cavalry pistols, the entire company of men and passengers formed a terrible phalanx, able to
fire three or four hundred shots without any delay in loading.
The Indians soon learned to respect these parties, and usually
gave them a wide berth, not venturing to attack them though
outnumbering them by more than ten to one.
Soon after the above-mentioned barbarous transactions near
Santa Fe, the mail was on its way accompanied by the contractor himself. One morning, marks of hostile Indians were
quite frequent. A large camp was passed where the fires still
burned, and newly picked bones of buffalo and deer were
scattered around.
In the course of the forenoon, several Indians were seen,
and at the noon rest, their whole party was in sight, numbering apparently one hundred and fifty or more. The main body
kept three or four hundred yards off, but one daring warrior,
evidently their chief, would ride in a wide circuit, approaching
sometimes within a hundred and fifty or two hundred yards
of the mail wagons. He seemed to be reconnoitering; and
though the mail party, passengers and all, did not exceed a
dozen persons, there seemed to be little disposition to attack
them.   The chief--as he proved to be-was splendidly
dressed; the long feathers on his head waving in the wind,
and mounted on a milk white horse, he seemed the Murat of
his nation.










Q)





DEATH OF A WARRIOR,


195


A shield of raw hide, dried in the sun, quite common
among the Indians, covered his entire person from his saddle
to his neck. Though within rifle shot, his swift riding and
the protection afforded by the shield, gave but little chance for
a successful shot. In the most daring and impudent manner
he rode several times in a semicircle, reducing the distance
between his followers and the little band of whites, at least
one half.
The mail contractor told his men to stand by their arms,
and be ready for an attack. He then took his Sharp's rifle
and lay down on the ground, resting his gun across a stone.
He looked across the sights, and saw the chief "wheel his
daring flight" within good gun range, but always on the full run
with his head just in sight over the shield. Each Indian is
provided with a rope or lariat made of hide, and this is
fastened by one end around the rider's waist, and by the other
to the saddle, that in the event of his being killed, the horse
will drag off the dead body and thus prevent its falling into
the hands of his enemies.
Some accident happened to the chief on the white charger;
his stirrup broke, or something took place which obliged him
to dismount. He was then about a hundred and seventy yards
from the mail camp, and as he dismounted on the farther side,
he was no fairer mark than before. It was easy enough to
shoot down the horse, but that would accomplish nothing, as
the chief was nearer to his friends than to his foes. It was
evident that he must, to a certain extent, expose himself, when
he mounted, and as he sprang up in his stirrup, his breast for
a moment presented a fair mark.
The sharp ring of the rifle was heard, and the chief lay on
the ground, while the blood sprinkled the snowy flank of the
beautiful charger. He was shot through the heart!
The horse sprung, and the weight of the dead chief broke
the lariat clear from the saddle. The consternation among
the Indians was terrible. Drawing their knives and pistols,
the mail carriers gave a yell, and charged directly at the whole





196


SUNSET ON THE PRAIRIE.


array of Indians. The head of the little band, whose successful shot had so opportunely killed the chief, had given orders
not to attack except on the defensive, but nothing could restrain them; and appalled as much by the daring bravery of
the whites as by the sudden death of their chief, the warriors
broke and fled.
The scalp of the unfortunate Indian was soon stripped from
the skull, and, with its dark and flowing locks, formed a trophy
of the short combat, and made the subject of a tale around
the fireside of the bold and hardy pioneer.
We have room for but one more narrative of border life,
and the perils of mail carrying in the backwoods; and this
is also an incident in the life of our " model mail contractor."
At a period anterior to the events just related, the mail,
with quite a number of wagons, was wending its way toward
Santa F6. The party were near the banks of the Cimmeron,
and then in the country of the Arrapahoes. Large herds of
buffalo were constantly visible, but no Indians had been seen
for some days.
It was a beautiful afternoon in June, the slowly descending
sun illuminating one of the grandest scenes in nature-a broad
rolling prairie covered with verdure, and presenting one checkered field of animal life. Beautiful antelopes, that flew rather
than ran, and scarce seemed to touch the earth; stately elks,
with branching horns, gallantly guarding their gregarious
herds, and the unwieldy bison, far more numerous than all the
rest, numbering hundreds of thousands, and blackening the
plain as far as the eye could reach. Our hero of many an
Indian skirmish and numerous buffalo hunts, mounted his
horse to go and select an animal from the vast herd, which
should furnish supper for his party.
He was mounted on a fleet animal, but after getting fairly
away from the train, he found he had omitted to put on his
spurs. It was in a section of country where small streams
form deep ravines, some of them nearly as abrupt, though not





BUFFALO CHASE.


197


as deep as the awful canons of the Gila and the head branches
of the Rio Grande. He singled out a fat buffalo cow, and
drawing his " Colt," dashed on to get near and be sure of a
fatal shot at the first fire. Not being able to spur his horse,
the animal led him a rapid race, and taking a path, followed
it down a dark ravine, where a slender stream gurgled idly
between its banks.
His horse, accustomed to the sport, went faster and faster,
and neared the buffalo at every spring, till she suddenly turned
the corner of the bank, now near the bottom of the ravine, and
some fifty or sixty feet below the level of the prairie. The
path that led down the ravine was a gradual descent, and on
each side were some scattering trees and bushes.
When the bluff was rounded in pursuit of the buffalo, the
animal was but a few yards ahead, and then, for the first time,
a fair mark. Our hero was nearly ready to fire, when whiz!
went an arrow so near that there was no mistaking its sound,
especially to one whose ear was practised in Indian warfare.
The arrow had scarcely ceased its whir, before a mounted
Indian came down upon our buffalo hunter, from behind the
bank of the ravine. His lance was poised in its "rest," with
the butt of it firmly against his shoulder. The buffalo passed
from sight, and the Indian instantly appeared; and before
there was a moment for reflection, the " white hunter" had to
" wink and hold out his iron."
The lance was a bright piece of steel, about twenty inches
long, on a pole of some twelve feet in length. This murderous blade was aimed directly at his breast, and the two horses
on a full run in opposite directions. Our contractor had
nothing on but a pair of trousers, his red hunting shirt, and
traveling cap.
The Indian, with the exception of some long feathers on his
head, was naked to the waist. The savage observed the " law
of the road," and took the right, and with one simultaneous
and almost involuntary movement, the. pale face" dropped
the bridle, and with his left arm parried the approaching blow
17*





198


ENCOUNTER WITH AN INDIAN.


by knocking the lance upward. The blade in its course
ripped the hunting shirt, and tore the muscles from his
shoulder; and simultaneously with this he fired his " Colt,"
and saw the blood spirt from the naked breast of the Indian.
The slain warrior fell heavily to the ground, while the white
man's horse turned suddenly to the right, and mounted the
bank of the ravine, which was here so steep, that, having no
longer a hold of the bridle, the rider came near tumbling
backward.
The surface of the prairie was gained, and neat two hundred
yards measured off by the horse before the owner had time to
gather his scattered thoughts. He attempted to grasp the
bridle, but found his left arm quite powerless, not only from
the wound on the shoulder, but the stunning effect of the
lance on his fore-arm, near the wrist. With a rapid movement he plunged his pistol into the holster, and seizing the
bridle with his right hand, drew up his horse and dismounted.
Every movement had been so rapid since going down the
path into the ravine after the baffalo, until he emerged in
safety on the plain, that he had not reflected a moment. He
had done better; he had acted.
There now appeared five Indians, all mounted, and not more
than two hundred and fifty yards from where he stood. He
instantly formed his plan. His arms consisted of his revolver,
and a double-barrelled English fowling-piece, one barrel loaded
with ball, and the other with buckshot. He unstrapped his
gun, kept himself on the farther side of the horse from the
Indians, and as they seemed to be approaching him, he made
his arrangements. He concluded to wait until they arrived
within about a hundred and fifty yards, and then fire with his
ball, and if possible, kill the foremost. The other barrel with
the buckshot would then be "good" for two more, when he
would have five loaded barrels of his " Colt," with only two
foes. But the cowardly villains dared not attack him.  Four
of them retreated, and the other rode a little nearer to recon.
noitre.





-~/- F

I




<z~&










RETURNING TO CAMP.


199


The Indian, believing he knew the character of his foe as
that of an old hunter, was sure he was armed with one or
more "six-shooters."   He communicated his thoughts to his
red-skinned brethren, by riding several times rapidly round in
a circle, this being the sign given by the Arrapahoes when
they meet white men armed with " revolvers."
Being satisfied with this view of their foe, and the taste they
had had of his prowess, they turned their horses and disappeared down the ravine.
Danger was not yet over, and our friend was determined to
be ready for whatever might happen. He rode slowly away
for fifty or a hundred yards, and stopped. Thinking he had
better have his arms in as good condition as possible, he dismounted and thought he would load the discharged barrel of
his pistol. On looking, this trusty weapon was missing. The
holster was entirely torn away, and the pistol gone. He went
back where he had waited for the Indians, and there lay the
pistol on the ground.
In his violent effort to put up the weapon and stop the
horse while one arm was totally disabled, he had evidently
thrust it in the holster so violently as to tear the leather away,
and the weapon unperceived had fallen to the ground.
Having loaded the empty barrel, he again mounted. The
sun by this time was just setting. The Indians and the long
dark ravine lay between him and the camp, and he took a circuitous route to meet the train.
After going some four miles to the south-west, he came to
the road. By the light of the moon he examined the track to
see if his wagons with their broad tires had passed. There
were no ruts but those made by the narrow-tired wagons of a
Mormon train that was one or two days ahead of them. He
then followed back, and mile after mile not a sound, not a person, not an animal, or a camp fire broke the vast solitude!
But now he hears a gun directly ahead of him.
Another minute and another gun; yes, 'tis his own party
camped out for the night, firing minute guns as a signal, and





200                WELCOME TO CAMP.
waiting with anxiety and fear for their absent leader. He
soon rode up, and-in the words of the narrator, as he told us
the story-" how the boys took me in their arms and hugged
me! They fairly screamed as I told them how I missed the
buffalo but didn't miss the Indian. They took me on their
shoulders and carried me three times round the camp. We
saw no more of the Arrapahoes during the journey to Santa
F e. "
Such have been the adventures and perils of carrying the
mails between the far outposts of civilization, on our wild frontier.





CHAPTER XII.


Cheating the Clergy-Duping a Witness-Money missing-A singular Postscript-The double Seal-Proofs of Fraud-The same
Bank-Note-"- Post-Boy" confronted-How the Game was playedMoving off.
OUR collection of " outside" delinquencies would be incomplete, were we to omit the following case, which was investigated by the author not long ago, and in which not a little
ingenuity, of the baser sort, was displayed. It will serve as
a specimen of a numerous class of cases, characterized by attempts to defraud some correspondent, and to fasten the blame
of the fraud upon some one connected with the Post-Office.
We could give many instances of a similar kind, did our limits
permit.
A person of good standing in community, who laid claim
not only to a moral, but a religious character, was visiting in
a large town on the Hudson river, about midway between New
York and Albany. This person owed a clergyman, living in
New Haven, Conn., the sum of one hundred dollars; and one
day he called at the house of another clergyman of his acquaintance in the town first mentioned, and requested to be
allowed the privilege of writing a letter there to his clerical
creditor, in which the sum due that gentleman was to be enclosed. Writing materials were furnished, and he prepared
the letter in the study of his obliging friend, and in his
presence.
(201)





202


DUPING A WITNESS.


After he had finished writing it, he said to the clergyman,
"Now, as the mails are not always safe, I wish to be able to
prove that I have actually sent the money. I shall therefore
consider it a great favor if you will accompany me to the bank,
where I wish to obtain a hundred-dollar note for some small
trash that I have, and bear witness that I enclose the money
and deposit the letter in the post-office."
The reverend gentleman readily acceded to his request, and
went with him to the bank, where a bill of the required denomination was obtained and placed in the letter; which was
then sealed with a wafer, the clergyman all the while looking
on.
They then went to the post-office, (which was directly opposite the bank,) and after calling the attention of his companion
to the letter and its address, the writer thereof dropped it into
the letter box, and the two persons went their several ways.
The letter arrived at New Haven by due course of mail,
and it so happened that the clergyman to whom it was addressed was at the post-office, waiting for the assorting of the
mails.  He saw a letter thrown into his box, and called for it
as soon as the delivery window was opened.
Upon breaking the seal and reading the letter, he found
himself requested to "Please find one hundred dollars," &c.,
with which request he would cheerfully have complied, but for
one slight circumstance, namely, the absence of the bank-note!
This fact was apparently accounted for by a postscript,
written in a heavy, rude hand, entirely different from that of
the body of the letter, and reading as follows:" P. S. I have taken the liberty to borrow this money, but I send
the letter, so that you needn't blame the man what wrote it."
(Signed)    "POST-BoY."
The rifled document was immediately shown to the post
master, and in his opinion, as well as that of the clergyman,
a daring robbery had been committed. The latter gentleman
was advised by the post master to proceed at once to New





THE DOUBLE SEAL.


203


York, and confer with the Special Agent, and at the same time
to lay all the facts before the Post Master General. He did
so, and it was not long before the Agent had commenced the
investigation of the supposed robbery.
In addition to the postscript appended, the letter bore other
indications of having been tampered with, which at first sight
would seem almost conclusive on this point. Upon the envelope were two wafers, differing in color, one partly overlapping
the other, as if they had been put on by different persons at
different times.
Notwithstanding these appearances, there were circumstances
strongly conflicting with the supposition that the letter had
been robbed. The postscript was an unnatural affair, for no
one guilty of opening a letter for the purpose of appropriating
its contents, would stop to write an explanatory postscript,
especially as such a course would increase the chances of his
own detection. And in the present instance, there had been
no delay of the letter to allow of such an addition.
By a visit to the office where the letter was mailed, the
Agent ascertained that it must have left immediately after
having been deposited, and the advanced age and excellent
character of the post master, who made up the mail on that
occasion, entirely cut off suspicion in that quarter.
An interview was then held with the clergyman who witnessed the mailing of the letter, and from him were obtained
the facts already stated. Concerning the writing of the document, and its deposit in the letter box in a perfect state, after
the money had been enclosed, he was ready and willing to
make oath, and had he been called upon he would have done
so in all sincerity and honesty.
In reply to an inquiry whether he used more than one sort
of letter paper, he informed me he had had but one kind in
his study for several months, and at my request, immediately
brought in several sheets of it. A comparison of this with
the sheet upon which the rifed epistle had been written,
showed that the latter was a totally different article from the





204


THE SAME BANK-NOTE.


first. The shape and design of the stamp, the size of the
sheet, and the shade of the paper, were all unlike. Moreover,
the wafers used at the bank, where the hundred-dollar note
was obtained, and the letter containing it, sealed, were very
dissimilar to either of those which appeared upon the " postboy" letter.
From the consideration of all these facts, I was satisfied that
a gross and contemptible fraud had. been perpetrated by the
writer of the letter, and lost no time in proceeding to the village where that personage lived. I called upon the post master and made some inquiries relative to the character and
pecuniary circumstances of the person in question. From the
replies made, it appeared, as I have already stated, that his
reputation in community was good.
I thought it might be possible that in so small a place, I
could ascertain whether he had lately passed a hundred-dollar
note, as he would have been likely to have done, if it was true
that he had not enclosed it in the New Haven letter.
Calling at the store which received most of his custom, I
introduced myself to the proprietor, made a confidant of him
to some extent, and learned that the very next day after that
on which the aforesaid letter was mailed, its author offered
him in payment for a barrel of flour, a hundred-dollar note on
the bank from which a bill of the like denomination had been
obtained, as before-mentioned, in exchange for the " small
trash." The merchant could not then change it, but sent the
flour, and changed a bill which he supposed to be the same, a
few days afterward.
Armed with these irresistible facts, I proceeded to call on
the adventurous deceiver of the clergy, who had attempted to
make one member of that body second his intention to cheat
another.  "4 Insatiate archer! Could not one suffice?"
"Mr. T---," said I, after some preliminary conversation,
"it's of no use to mince matters. The fact is, you did not
send the money in that New Haven letter. You offered it the
day after you pretended to mail it, at Mr. C.'s store. You see





MOVING OFF.


205


I've found out all about it, so I hope you will not deny the
truth in the matter."
I then gave him his choice, to send the hundred dollars
promptly to his New Haven correspondent, or allow me to
prove in a public manner, the facts in my possession.
Being thus hard pressed, and finding himiself cornered, he
confessed that he had prepared the letter which was received
in New Haven-postscript, double wafers and all-before he
left home, and that while crossing the street froma the bank to
the post-office, he substituted this for the one he wrote in the
clergyman's study! He promised to send the money, and
pretended to have suffered severely in his feelings, on account
of this dishonest act.
There is no United States law providing for the punishment
of such an offence, but public opinion and private conscience
make nicer distinctions than the law can do, and often mete
out a well deserved penalty to those who elude the less subtle
ministers of justice.
In the present instance, the foregoing story was made public
by direction of the Post Master General; and the author of
the trick, unable to sustain the indignation and contempt of
the community in which he lived, was compelled to make a
hasty retreat from that part of the country.


18





CHAPTER         XIII.
YToung Offenders-Thirty Years ago-A large Haul-A Ray of Light.
THE facts of the following case were furnished me by a
gentleman connected with the New York post-office. I will
introduce him as the relator of his own story, taking some
liberty, however, with the phraseology.
It is one of the too numerous class of cases, of which mere
boys are the heroes, (if the term may thus be perverted,)-a
class that is represented in this work, which would otherwise
be incomplete, professing, as it does, to illustrate the various
phases of post-office life, as respects persons of different ages
and conditions. The present narration will show that our own
times are not the only period fertile in juvenile rascality, but
that the youth of thirty years ago were too frequently set
upon evil.
At the time when the incidents occurred which I am about
to narrate, (xiz. in the year 1826,) it was the usual practice
in the New York office to make up the morning's mails on the
preceding evening, and to place them upon tables before they
were entered on the " transcripts," (sheets or books in which
copies of the post-bills are made,) and enclosed in wrappers.
At this time a boy twelve or thirteen years of age was employed as assistant to one of the letter carriers, and generally
arrived at the office at an earlier hour in the morning than the
regular clerks. The nature of his duties made him well ac(206)





A LARGE HAUL.


207


quainted with the different species of letters, so that he could
determine without much difficulty, from its general appearance, whether a letter contained hidden treasures or not.
So, by way of beguiling the time before the arrival of the
clerks, or for the sake of a little improving practice, he one
morning looked over the Eastern mail, which lay spread
before him, and selected a letter addressed by the Cashier of
the Farmers' and Mechanics' Bank of New York, to the
Cashier of one of the banks in Boston, containing four thousand dollars in bank-notes of one thousand dollars each. -
On the discovery of this "C pile," the boy lost no time in
C removing the deposits" to his own pocket, substituting for
the bank-notes four pieces of paper of an equal size, cut from
wrappers lying on the floor. He then resealed the letter and
replaced it. The letter was forwarded by due course of mail,
and when it was received at the bank, the Cashier discovered
to his dismay that the money by some jugglery had been converted into brown paper; and the evident marks of breaking
open and resealing, indicated unequivocally that some human
agency had been engaged in working the spell.
Information of the loss was immediately conveyed to the
New York office, much to the consternation and grief of all
concerned, for this office had been considered a model one,
and the clerks had taken pride in sustaining its character, to
say nothing of their own; and now that suspicion was thrown
among them by this daring act of dishonesty, which, from appearances, must have been committed by some one having
access to the mails, they felt that all confidence in one another,
as well as the confidence of community in them, would be
greatly weakened, until the author of the deed should be discovered. It was suggested, indeed, that the robbery might
have been committed in the Boston office, but circumstances
rather favored the supposition that the guilt rested with New
York.
The Post-Office Department at Washington was apprised of
the facts in the case, and the attempts made to investigate the





208


A RAY OF LIGHT.


matter elicited a good deal of correspondence, which, however,
produced no successful result.
Among other expedients, intimations were thrown out that
a thorough search should be made of the residences and persons of the clerks, although it was not likely that the thief,
whoever he might be, was so green as to keep the money for
such a length of time, in any place where its discovery would
be positive proof against him; and if the search were unavailing, the only result would be the infliction of mortification
upon those who were innocent of the crime.
At this juncture, a ray of light appeared. It was then as
well as now the practice of the assorting clerks to place the
letters "missent" and "overcharged," in a box by themselves,
and one morning a letter of this description was missent to
this office, directed to Jamaica, L. I., which was accordingly
placed in this box. On our return from breakfast this letter
was found to be missing. As the boy before mentioned was
the only occupant of the office during our absence, the disappearance of the letter naturally induced the belief that he
had taken it. This second instance of delinquency assumed
a double importance from the fact that the purloiner of this
and the robber of the Boston letter, were in all probability one
and the same person. Every exertion was therefore made to
bring the truth to light.
One of the clerks was dispatched to Jamaica to ascertain
whether the letter might not have been somehow received at
that office, but his proposed investigations were prevented by
the unofficial behavior of his horse, which, unmindful of the
important business in hand, ran away, upset the carriage, and
spilt out its contents. The clerk was so much injured as to
be unable to proceed, and therefore returned without the desired information.
On the next morning, while the " drop letters" were being
assorted, this letter was found among them and was identified.
It had been broken open, examined, resealed, but not robbed
of a draft for a large amount which it contained. Near the





AN ENTERING WEDGE.


209


seal were written with a pencil the words " Picked up in Vesey
Street."
The hand-writing was believed to be that of the- suspected
boy, and he was immediately charged with taking and breaking open the letter, which accusation he stoutly denied, but
when he was assured that we knew his hand, that the words
which he had written on the letter showed conclusively that
he knew something of its whereabouts during its absence,
and that it was our determination to inestigate the matter
thoroughly, his courage gave way, and he confessed opening
the letter, but said he did not meddle with the draft which it
contained, as he could make no use of it.
Having thus applied an entering wedge, I lost no time in
turning to account the information already obtained, which I
hoped would lead to the detection of the person who robbed
the Boston letter. Indeed, I was entirely uinprepared to admit
the existence of two such rascals in the New York office, as
such repeated instances of delinquency would imply, and was
quite positive that the boy before me was the only culprit. I
accordingly said to him, "Now, Samuel, I am   glad for your
sake that you have confessed your guilt in relation to this letter, and I hope you will be equally frank if you have been
doing anything else of a similar nature. I strongly suspect
that you robbed the Boston letter that we had so much trouble
about, and if you did, the best thing you can do will be to
confess it."
": No, sir," replied he, " I don't know any more about this
Boston letter than you do, and I haven't touched any letter but
the Jamaica one."
" It is useless," said I, "' for you to make such assertions, in
the face of the probabilities in the case. You have confessed
that you stole one letter, and that renders it the more likely
that you have robbed the other."
" Perhaps it is likely," returned he, "but I didn't do it."
" Well," said I, "take your choice. If you persist in your
denial, you must meet the consequences, and you know that
18 *





210


THE CONFESSION.


this kind of offence is punished severely; but if you will own
up, I will engage that you shall get off as easily as possible."
By such considerations I finally induced him to acknowledge his guilt in relation to the Boston letter, and on being
questioned further, he stated that he still had the bills, and
offered to show me the place where they were concealed. I
at once started off, accompanied by him  as my guide. We
took a course which soon led us out of the city, and along the
banks of the East River.
The day was rainy, and a mist overhung the river and the
land. As we plodded along through the mud and wet, the
face of my young companion was shaded with a sadness which
indicated that the external world harmonized in its gloom with
the little world within.
For myself, I must acknowledge that the prospect of reestablishing lost confidence among my fellow-employ6s in the
post-office, and of putting an end to the suspicion which had
haunted almost every one, as well as restoring the stolen property to its rightful owner, produced in me an exhilaration of
spirits strangely at variance with all that met my eye. But
as we continued to go on and on, with no signs of approaching our place of destination, I began to query with myself,
whether my companion might not contemplate giving me the
slip, after leading me a wild-goose chase. I could not see,
indeed, what motive he could have for such a proceeding,
unless he wished to vent his malice on me as one who had been
prominent in detecting his misdeeds.
But he kept on steadily, till, after going half a mile or so
beyond the old Penitentiary, (a distance of about three miles
from the post-office,) he turned from the road and stopped
before an old wooden house, apparently uninhabited. The exterior showed signs of many years' conflict with the elements,
in which it had been decidedly worsted. Moss had gathered
upon the shingles, and the paint, of which there was here and
there a trace, strengthened by a feeble contrast the dark color
of the parts from which it had been entirely washed away.





HIDDEN TREASURE.


211


Some of the windows were destitute of glass, and probably
served as a mark for the "slings and arrows" of passing boys.
We entered the building, whose damp and musty-smelling
air chilled me, heated as I was with my long and fatiguing
walk, and ascending a flight of stairs, the boy unlocked the
door of a room into which I passed by his request. The room
contained no furniture but half a dozen chairs, a table, and an
old bureau. This last he approached, unlocked, and taking
out entirely one of the drawers, he showed another smaller one,
which was behind the first when that was in place. Opening
this, my eyes were refreshed with a sight of the four bills, of
which I immediately took possession, and thinking it well to
see what further discoveries I could make in this terra incognita, I found a little drawer, concealed like the first one
behind another, and containing two or three hundred dollars
in bills, which the precocious youth confessed to having purloined at different times from dead letters, which were usually
laid out upon tables while the clerks were making up the dead
letter account. It would seem that the boy thought no more
of robbing a dead letter, than do the camp-followers of plundering dead men after a battle.
After examining the bureau as thoroughly as I was able,
and finding no more of the ill-gotten wealth, I asked my companion whether he had any more money that did not belong
to him, to which inquiry he returned a negative answer.
The place of concealment was certainly well chosen, for the
old house would be the last place to which any one would
think of going, who was in search for anything valuable. It
seemed to me that it was a particularly fortunate circumstance
that the discovery was made at this time, for he informed me
that he had been accumulating the money found in the
bureau with the intention of intrusting it to his uncle, for the
purpose of purchasing some property in Newburgh. This,
would have been a rather large operation for a youth of his
age! an operation even worthy of some specimens of Young
America at the present day.





212


REFORMATION.


It seemed remarkable to me, as it doubtless has to the
reader, that the boy should have such a remote and strange
hiding-place. I afterwards learned that the house, the back
part of which was occupied by a small family, belonged to an
acquaintance of his, and that he used the room as a place of
rendezvous, with some of his companions, and, as we have
seen, as a receptacle for stolen money.
Having accomplished the object of my expedition, I returned light of heart, though heavy of limb, and communicated the facts as soon as possible to the Cashier of the
Farmers' and Mechanics' Bank, and to the post master.      The
lad was at once arrested, tried, and found guilty, but in consideration of his youth, and his apparent ignorance of the extent of his crime, and the recovery of the property, he was
sent to the House of Refuge for three years.
The boy's reformation was permanent, as I have been
informed by one who afterwards knew him, when he had removed to a distant place, and established a good character.
If this was so, (which there is no reason to doubt,) it furnishes an instance of the salutary effects arising from early
detection in a course of crime, especially to those who are not
yet hardened in iniquity. The whole case, also, shows the
danger of allowing boys, with principles hardly established as
yet, and destitute of that firmness which habit and perseverance bestow, to occupy responsible stations in large offices,
where the apparent facility for the commission of crime and
the temptations offered, too often subvert the honesty which
has not yet ripened into a second nature.





CHAPTER XIV.


OBSTRUCTING THE MAIL.
A sound Principle-A slow Period-A wholesome Law-" Ahead of
the Mail"-Moral Suasion-Indignant Passengers-Dutch OathsA Smash-Interesting Trial-A rowdy Constable-The Obstructors mulcted.
THE proper adjustment of the various interests, great and
small, which are involved in the every-day life of a nation like
ours, is a problem not always very easy of solution, yet one of
vital importance to the well-working of the social machine.
Indeed, it has ever been an important part of legislation to
determine the relative magnitude of different interests, both
public and private, and to assign to each its proper place in
the scale.
Republican principles require that the less should yield to
the greater-individual convenience to public good.     And an
excellent illustration of the practical application of these principles by the wisdom of Congress, is found in the provisions
which that body has made to secure the uninterrupted transmission of the mails.
It is unnecessary to enlarge upon the vast importance of
punctuality in this branch of the public service. Time, as
an element in business transactions, is increasing in value in
proportion to the multiplication of devices for obtaining the
greatest results possible from each passing moment. An hour
(213)





214


A SLOW PERIOD.


in the present year, represents more-more business-more
planning-more results of various kinds, than did an hour
thirty years since.
To take, for instance, the matter of traveling. The state
of things no longer exists which will permit public conveyances to take pretty much their own time in starting and in
arriving at their destinations. That was a distressingly " slow"
period, when horses were in their glory, and wayside taverns
afforded comforts and luxuries which are poorly replaced by the
eating, or rather devouring department of a rail road depot,
where ravenous passengers, like the Israelites of old, are
obliged to dispatch their repast, girded up for flight, at a moment's notice, instead of. comfortably and deliberately sitting
down under the auspices of " mine host," to a meal which deserved more respectful attention than could be given it in a
less space of time than half an hour; the driver, meanwhile,
being easy in his mind on the subject of "connecting," inasmuch as he, the connector, felt quite certain that the connectee
would not leave him in the lurch, as "lee-way" of an hour or
two was allowed, and often required, by the exigencies of
traveling.  But since, by the agency of steam, an hour swallows up thirty miles instead of four or five, minutes become
correspondingly precious, and the locomotive infuses somewhat
of its own energy into every mode of progression.
The inexorable hand of the rail-way clock waits not for
dilatory drivers, and makes no allowances for detention, unavoidable or otherwise. Here comes in the application of our
republican principle. If it were in the power of any one to
delay the progress of the vehicle containing the mail, to suit
his whim or convenience, the public interests would often be
seriously interfered with; and, in order to prevent such contingencies, the following law was enacted by Congress:And be it further enacted, That if any person shall, knowingly and
wilfully, obstruct or retard the passage of the mail, or of any driver
or carrier, or of any horse or carriage, carrying the same, he shall,





A WHOLESOME LAW.


215


upon conviction for every such offence, pay a fine not exceeding one
hundred dollars; and if any ferryman shall, by wilful negligence, or
refusal to transport the mail across any ferry, delay the same, he
shall forfeit and pay, for every ten minutes that the same shall be
so delayed, a sum not exceeding ten dollars.
It is obviously right that the pleasure of an individual
should not weigh for a moment in the balance, with the interests of thousands depending as they do, in a degree, upon
the prompt transmission of correspondence. Were all the
consequences of simply impeded delivery of important letters
to be made known, the record would be a melancholy one
indeed.
In crowded cities especially, through whose streets the mails
are many times a day conveyed to steamboats and rail road
stations, it is particularly important that all obstacles in their
way should be removed; and pains have been taken to make
the law on this subject generally understood, so that at the approach of the wagon bearing the magic characters " U. S.
Mail," the crowd of vehicles which throng the busy streets,
separate to the right and left, and do homage to that supreme
power-the Public Good.
A curious trial under the law I have cited, was held in
Boston before the United States Court, about two years since.
It appears that the regular mail-coach from Worcester to
Barre, left the former place on the afternoon of January 8,
about half past four, full of passengers, and ornamented, as
well as distinguished, by the words "U. S. Mail," painted in
conspicuous letters on both sides of the foot-board.
The passengers were beginning to develope those sparks of
sociability which are elicited by the collisions with one another, and the stimulus to the brain resulting from sundry
jolts inseparable from the vicissitudes of stage-coach traveling.
In other words, the coach had proceeded about two miles,
when, arriving at a place where there was some ascent in the
road, it overtook three one-horse wagons, which made way for
it to pass. Very soon, however, the two occupants of the





216


MORAL SUASION.


hindmost wagon, (whom we will call Stark and Baker,)
whipped up their steed, and rushed by the coach, like some
saucy cutter shooting ahead of a seventy-four. After this
demonstration, their horse, having gained four or five rods on
the coach, subsided into a walk.
The correspondingly moderate movements which the driver
of the coach was compelled to adopt, did not very well suit
his views, as the icy road and his heavy load formed a combination of circumstances which rendered him anxious to make
all possible speed, in order to fulfil the requirements of the
U. S. Mail, as well as those of his passengers. But he was
obliged to retain his humble position of follower to the wagon,
for the road at that point was too narrow to admit of passing,
and as no other means of attaining his object were at his command, he proceeded to try the effect of moral suasion.
t I say, you, there," shouted he to the obstinate couple in
the wagon, who were smoking very much at their ease, and
apparently busily engaged in conversation, "I wish you'd
drive on faster, or let me go by you."
"Couldn't do it," replied the provoking Stark, "unless
you'll race."
"It's none of my business to race," returned the driver;
"all I want is to go on."
"Well, let's see you do it, then," said Stark, checking his
horse still more.
They soon came to a wider portion of the road, and the
stage driver attempted to pass the wagon, but was foiled by
the dexterous manoeuvring of Stark, who so accurately adjusted his motions to those of the stage-coach as to check-mate
its presiding genius. Upon coming to a still wider place, the
driver outsailed his persevering tormentor, and pushed on at
a rapid rate, say seven knots an hour, indulging the sanguine
hope that he was rid of his Old Man of the Sea. But this
expectation was short-lived, for, on arriving at a curve in the
road, where it was narrow and icy, he was compelled to
"shorten sail," whereat Stark added wings to his speed, and










L




<~





INDIGNANT PASSENGERS.


217


ran by the coach, directly afterward reining his horse into a
walk as before.
A succession of similar manoeuvres was kept up till the
coach reached Holden, a distance of three or four miles, and
during this time the facetious Stark, not content with these
highly aggravating proceedings, added insult to injury by personal reflections on the skill of the driver and the character
of his horses.
" Hallo, you driver!" shouted he derisively, " why don't you
drive?   If there's any of your passengers in a hurry, I'll take
'em on, and tell the folks that you'll be along in the course of
a day or two."
To this the driver wisely answered nothing, but his tormentor did not profit by his example. After some ineffectual
attempts on the part of the U. S. functionary to pass the
wagon, which were foiled as before, Stark again essayed to
beguile the time with a further display of his conversational
powers.
" Guess your horses ain't very well trained to keep the road,
are they?  They seem to go from one side to the: other as if
they couldn't draw a bee-line. May be, though, they are
kinder faint, and that's what makes 'em stagger about so. I'll
try 'em."
So saying, he proceeded to open a bag which lay in his
wagon; and, taking from it a handful of oats, he allowed the
horses to come nearly up to him, when he held out the grain
to them, calling- k'jock, k'jock," as if he was desirous of
enticing them along.
Before this time, the occupants of the coach had become
aware of what was going on, and were naturally highly indignant at the imposition practised on them by the audacious
Stark and his fellow conspirator. One irascible gentleman did
not bear the infliction with as much equanimity as his " guide,
philosopher, and friend," upon the coach-box; but, every time
that the wagon passed the coach, he popped his head out at
the nearest window, and fired at the enemy a volley of reproach19





218


DUTCH OATHS.


ful epithets that could be likened to nothing but the " ninecornered Dutch oaths," which on special occasions were wont
to rumble through the gullet of William the Testy, at the
hazard of choking that illustrious individual, as we are assured
by the grave and matter-of-fact historian of New York.
The persevering repetition of the provocation at last excited
a degree of rage in the breast of our peppery friend which
could not be allayed by the expedients we have mentioned.
He called out, "Driver, I say, stop and let me out, and I'll
see whether this sort of thing will go on much longer. Why
don't you stop? Do you suppose we are going to stand this
for ever? How the deuse do you think we shall ever get to
Barre, at this rate?"
The driver advised him to keep cool, telling him that very
likely they would get rid of the wagon before long; with
which opinion another of the passengers coincided, who knew
the men, remarking that they belonged in Hubbardston, and
would probably turn off at the road leading to that place. This
road was beyond Holden, where the coach stopped at the public-house. Here the men in the wagon came up, and expressed
a wish to exchange their horse for the four coach-horses, provided sufficient "boot" were offered them. To this impertinence the driver made no reply; but the fiery passenger intimated to them that, if they would come within his reach, he
would give them boot enough to make their accounts Jbot up
even.
After leaving the mail, the coach started out of Holden,
preceded by the wagon, which dodged back and forth along
the road as heretofore. They passed the Hubbardston road,
but the men did not turn off; and, about a mile from Rutland,
they made that once-too-often attempt which such mischievous
individuals usually make somewhere along their course. The
patience of the much-enduring driver had become finally
exhausted; and, as the annoying wagon was in the act of
passing him, at a rather narrow place in the road, he drove
on without particular reference to that vehicle, and experi




A SMASH.


219


mentally tested the relative strength of the fore wheel of th6
coach and the body of the wagon. The latter structure was
" nowhere," or, to speak more accurately, it was resolved into
its original elements; while the aforesaid wheel rolled away
uninjured, bearing its share of the triumphant passengers.
The occupants of the smashed vehicle survived the " wreck
of matter;" whether with a whole skin or not, does not appear,
as the personal knowledge of the driver, as stated on the trial,
was summed up in the words, "I left 'em there!"
In consequence of the proceedings which        have been
described, the coach arrived at Barre an hour and a quarter
behind the time.
It having been thought advisable to prosecute these men for
obstructing the mail, a suit was brought against them in the
U. S. District Court of Massachusetts.
The evidence on the part of Government went to show that
they must have known the character of the coach: that it carried the mail, for the words "U. S. Mail" were conspicuously
painted on the coach; and the sign "( Post-Office" was up at
the place in Holden where the mail was taken out, and where
they saw the coach stop. Also the men were known by sight
to some of the passengers; and one of them had been a stagecoach proprietor, and the other had driven a coach.   Indeed,
one of the passengers, while they were at Holden, addressed
Baker, whom he knew, by name, and told him "he should
think that he had been in the stage business long enough to
know better."
The passengers were unanimous in considering the case as
clearly one of wilful detention.
The testimony for the defence was rather lame. The post
master at Rutland testified that the mail from Worcester was
due at 7 P. M., though he had known it three-quarters of an
hour later. He thought it arrived, on the evening in question,
at 5 minutes past 7; but could not say certainly that the 8th
of January was the night when the mail arrived at that time,
though he had no doubt of it, nor had he looked at his register





220


A ROWDY CONSTABLE.


since that night. In short, his evidence amounted to a rough
guess, which could make no impression on the Gibraltar of
opposing testimony furnished by a coach full of passengers, as
well as other witnesses.
Another witness for the defence testified that Stark's horse
was " smooth-shod," with the view of establishing the extreme
improbability of the alleged performances, as the road was icy,
and rapid motion therefore hazardous to an animal thus shod.
But, as the quadruped in question was shown actually to have
done the thing, this ingenious theory was set aside, although
a slur was thus cast upon Mr. Stark's character as a prudent
driver.
But the crowning shame of Stark's delinquency consisted in
the fact that he was constable and tax-collector of the town of
Hubbardston. History is not without instances of monarchs
and others high in authority, who have descended to the indulgence of freaks inconsistent with the dignity of their station;
and Shakspeare has immortalized the frolics of Prince Henry.
But neither historian nor poet has hitherto been able to record
of a constable and tax-gatherer that he amused himself with
maliciously driving a smooth-shod horse, so as to obstruct the
progress of the United States Mail.
This man, set to be "a terror to evil-doers" should have
been a terror to himself; indeed we may conceive of him as
smitten with compunction, and arresting himself-Stark the
constable tapping himself on the shoulder. At least he should
have arrested his own progress, before he fell from his high
estate, and degenerated from a constable into an unlucky
buffoon.
The questions for the jury were, First, Did these men obstruct the United States Mail?    And, secondly, Did they do
so knowingly and wilfully? If they did so obstruct the mail,
then as a man is presumed in law to intend what is the natural
and necessary consequence of his acts, in the absence of controlling testimony otherwise, the inference would inevitably





THE OBSTRUCTORS MULCTED.                   221
follow, that their conduct in this affair was the result of "malice aforethought."
They were both convicted, and sentenced as follows,-Stark,
the driver of the wagon, to a fine of thirty dollars, and Baker
to a fine of fifteen; thus footing up the pretty little sum of
forty-five dollars for their evening's diversion, besides the destruction of their wagon, which was taken into the account in
determining the amount of the fines.
Thus ended this piece of folly, the record of which it is
hoped will serve as a warning to any who may be disposed to
try similar " tricks upon travelers," since they might not get
off as easily as did the pair of worthies, whose brilliant exploit
we have briefly sketched.
19*





CHAPTER XV.


A dangerous Mail Route-Wheat Bran-A faithful Mail Carrier
-Mail Robber shot-A "Decd-head" Passenger.
An old Offender-Fatal Associate-Robbery and Murder-Conviction
and Execution-Capital Punishment.
Traveling in Mexico-Guerillas-Paying over-The Robbers routedA " Fine Young English Gentleman"-The right stuff.
IN the early annals of our country, many instances of mail
robbery are found, some of which occasioned the display of
great intrepidity and daring, as the perusal of the following
pages will show.
While the country was yet thinly settled, and the mails were
transported on horseback, or in different kinds of vehicles, from
the gig to the stage-coach, often through extensive forests, which
afforded every facility for robbery, the office of stage driver or
mail carrier was no sinecure. Resolute men were required for
this service, who on an emergency could handle a pistol as well
as a whip.
Some thirty or forty years ago, a mail-coach ran in the
northern part of the state of New York, through the famous
" Chateaugay woods."    The forest was many miles in extent,
and common fame and many legends gave it the reputation of
a noted place for freebooters and highwaymen.
One morning the stage driver on this route had occasion to
examine his pistols, and found, instead of the usual charge,
that they were loaded with wheat bran!       A  daring villain
(222)





MAIL ROBBER SHOT.


223


had, through an accomplice, thus disarmed the driver, preparatory to waylaying him.   He drew the charges, cleaned the
weapons, and carefully loaded them with powder and ball.
That afternoon he mounted his stage for his drive through
the Chateaugay woods. There was not a passenger in his
vehicle. Whistling as he went, he " cracked up" his leaders,
and drove into the forest. Just about the centre of the woods
a man sprang out from behind a tree, and seized the horses by
the bit.
" I say, driver," said the footpad, with consummate coolness,
" I want to take a look at that mail."
" Yes, you do, no doubt, want to overhaul my mails," replies
the driver; "but I can't be so free, unless you show me your
commission. I'm driver here, and I never give up my mails
except to one regularly authorized."
" 0, you don't, eh? well, here's my authority," showing the
butt of a large pistol partly concealed in his bosom.  " Now
dismount and bear a hand, my fine fellow, for you see I've got
the documents about me."
" Yes, and so've I," says the driver, instantly leveling his
own trusty weapon at the highwayman.
" 0! you won't hurt nobody, I guess; I've seen boys playing
soger before now."
S"Just drop those reins," says the keeper of Uncle Sam's
mail bags, "or take the consequences."
"0! now your'e joking, my fine lad! but come, look alive,
for I'm in a hurry, it's nearly night."
A sharp report echoed through the forest, and the disciple
of Dick Turpin lay stretched upon the ground. One groan and
all was over. The ball had entered his temple.
The driver lifted the body into the coach, drove to the next
stopping place, related the circumstances, and gave himself up.
A  brief examination before a magistrate resulted in his
acquittal, and highwaymen about the Chateaugay woods learned
that pistols might be dangerous weapons, even if they were





224


CAPITAL PUNISHMENT.


loaded with wheat bran, provided they were in the hands of
one who knew how to use them.
Another exciting case occurred near Utica, early in the
present century, when Western and Northern New York was
a wilderness.
An old rogue, who had long been steeped in crime, finding
his companions nearly all gone-the prisons and gallows having
claimed their own-and his material resources nearly exhausted, sought for a profitable alliance.  He succeeded in
getting into familiarity with a very young man, son of a gentleman of standing and reputation, a worthy citizen and an honest
man. These two laid their plans for robbing the mail. Considerable sums of money were known to pass constantly in the
great mail running East and West.
Watching their opportunity, they stopped the coach one
night when there were no passengers. The driver was bold
and faithful to his charge, and made a stout resistance. They
tied him to a tree, and opened the mail. Fearing detection
and not obtaining much money, the veteran villain drew his
pistol and shot the poor driver. As in most criminal transactions, fortune went against the perpetrators. They were both
taken, and sufficient evidence being produced, they were sentenced to be hanged.
Though there was but one opinion as to the comparative
culpability of the two individuals, no one could say but that
both were equally guilty, in a legal sense, of the murder. Out
of respect to the parents of the young man, great efforts were
made to obtain a pardon, but they were unsuccessful.
Both the sentences were carried into execution. The circumstance gave rise to a thorough discussion of the policy, the
humanity, and the right or wrong of Capital Punishment. One
of the most powerful arguments ever made against the death
penalty, was written by the father of the younger criminal,
and obtained a wide circulation in pamphlet form.


14k





"PAYING OVER."


225


In the summer of 1851, a company of travelers were seated
in the mail stage that runs from Mexico to Vera Cruz. Marauding parties of guerillas had often stopped the mail, and
when practicable, robbed the passengers. Sometimes returning Californians, and other travelers, gave these freebooters a
rather warm reception.
On the present occasion there were but three or four passengers, some of whom were armed with small revolvers. Suddenly a party of mounted guerillas appeared, nearly a dozen in
number, and at once stopped the coach and ordered the pas
sengers out.
Either from fear or collusion, the drivers never interfere, but
remain neutral. Probably, if they resisted, their lives would
pay the forfeit. The passengers, supposing there was no hope
of escape but to give up their watches and money, commenced
"paying over."
A young English gentleman in one corner of the coach,
immediately took up a double-barreled gun and shot the villain
at the door of the coach, and then with the other barrel killed
another of the party, by shooting him off his horse. He then
drew a revolver, and jumped out. The other travelers concluded, like Wellington's reserve at Waterloo, that they might
as well " up and at 'em," and, quite unprepared for such a
reception, the freebooters-the surviving ones-fled with precipitation. The papers resounded with the praises of " this
fine young English gentleman, all of the modern time."
His father was a distinguished member of Parliament, and
soon had the pleasure of meeting his son, who had been abroad
and shown that he was made of the right kind of stuff for a
traveler in a dangerous country.





CHAPTER XVI.


The tender Passion-Barnum's Museum-Little Eva-The Boys in a
Box-The Bracelet-Love in an Omnibus-Losses explained.
As Shakspeare, after having displayed Falstaff in his ordinary character of rascal and rowdy in general, represented him
as a " lover sighing like furnace," so we, in the course of our
researches among juvenile delinquents, find that they are
sometimes the victims of what they consider the tender passion. And the ardor excited in their breasts is not always
innocent in its effects, but, as in the case of " children of an
older growth," sometimes leads to the commission of heinous
crime, as is exemplified in the instance we are about to relate.
While the drama of "Uncle Tom's Cabin" was running at
that Museum of Natural and Unnatural History, commonly
called Barnum's, four boys, the eldest apparently about fourteen years of age, were observed night after night occupying a
stage-box in the theatre attached to that establishment, and
watching, with admiring eyes, the movements of the young
lady who represented " Little Eva." Boys are gregarious in
their loves and hates, and it appeared that in the present
instance, the three younger ones were not smitten with the
aforesaid damsel, per se, but simply as friends or satellites of
their older companion, accompanying him in that capacity, to
encourage him, and witness his hoped-for triumph over the
heart of the young actress, and possibly for the sake of sharing
(226)





THE BOYS IN A BOX.


227


in the " treats" of various kinds which he dispensed to favored
ones with a lavish hand.
Not content with sighing at a distance for the object of his
affections, and on one occasion making a decided demonstration, by throwing a gold bracelet upon the stage, intended to
encircle her arm, the enamored youth often watched for his
charmer as she descended from the world of imagination to
that of real life,-from the theatrical stage to that humble,
but useful vehicle, an omnibus; and having ascertained which
one was irradiated by her presence, he madly rushed 'after,
and purchased, with the slight outlay of a sixpence, the enrapturing consciousness of being included within the narrow
walls that held the mistress of his heart.
But "the course of true love never did run smooth." Sometimes unfeeling parents obstruct; sometimes " no" is a decided
obstacle; but neither of these was the immediate cause of the
rough " course" in the present instance. It does not appear
that our stricken youth had ever approached near enough to
his "bright particular star" to admit of any confidential disclosure of the state of his feelings; much less had he opened
any negotiations with the " powers that be." The rocks on
which he split were, the manager of the Museum and a police
officer!
When the reader is informed that the lad in question was
not the son of wealthy parents, and had, or ought to have had
no other pecuniary resources than those which he derived
from his occupation in the employ of a bookseller, he will
readily conjecture whence came the means for the indulgence
of such extravagance and folly as have been described. Such
an unusual occurrence as the hiring of a stage box by a boy,
for several nights in succession (the expense of which was five
dollars a night), attracted the attention and the suspicions of
the manager of the Museum, who sent for the police, and on
searching the boys, an empty envelope, addressed to " S--
& Co., Fulton Street," the employers of our precocious young
gentleman, was found upon his person. It was then ascer




228                 LOSSES EXPLAINED.
tained that S--    & Co. had recently lost several money-letters,
and the boy, being the person who took the letters out of the
post-office for the firm, had appropriated the money to his own
use. He was tried before the United States Court, and sent
to the House of Refuge, where, it is to be hoped, he was cured
of indulging his boyish whim at the expense of his employer's
money and his own character.





CHAPTER XVII.


DETACHED INCIDENTS.
Bank Letter lost-The Thief decoyed-Post-Office at MidnightClimbing the Ladder-An exciting Moment-Queer Place of Deposit.
A Post Master in Prison-Afflicted Friends-Sighs and Saws-The
Culprit's Escape-How it was done-A cool Letter-A Wife's
Offering.
Moral Gymnastics-Show of Honesty-Unwelcome Suggestion.
"A hard road to travel"-Headed by a Parson-Lost Time made up
-A Male overhauled.
The Invalid Wife-The Announcement-A touching Incident.
DURING the whole of the author's official career, he has
never been brought into physical conflict with any one, nor
exposed to any great danger in the discharge of his duties.
These duties have seldom called him to undergo " moving
accidents by flood and field," excepting so far as severe
weather, dangerous roads, fractious horses, or some other of
the inconveniences and perils incident to the different modes
of traveling, might be classed under that head.
An incident, however, once occurred while I was engaged in
investigating a case of depredation, which may be worthy of
record here, as it is not devoid of a certain picturesqueness,
even aside from the extremely interesting circumstance (to
me) that my head, for a short time, seemed to be in imminent
danger.
The case referred to was that of the loss of a letter containing six hundred dollars, posted by the cashier of a
Northern bank.     The person, (a post-office clerk,) whom   I
20                                       (229)





230


AN EXCITING MOMENT.


suspected of being the robber, was detected in taking a decoy
letter which was placed in his office after the loss of the one
first mentioned. On the strength of this, I boldly charged
him with the first loss, and insisted that he should restore the
money. After the usual assertion of innocence, and some
demur, he intimated to me that the spoils were hidden somewhere in the post-office.
This interview was held in the directors' room of the bank
which had suffered the loss, and I immediately proposed that
we should go over to the office and get the money. Accordingly we proceeded thither.    It was then after midnight.
As soon as we entered, my companion locked the door behind
us, and preceded me, with a lantern in his hand. A remark
which I made respecting the lonely appearance of a post-office
at that time of night, drew from him nothing but a sullen
assent, which put an end to any further conversational efforts
on my part.
The room (or rather recess) in which he lodged, was over
that part of the office devoted to the public, a space in front
of the boxes, and access was had to it by means of a ladder
inside the office.
The clerk rapidly ascended this ladder and I followed closely
behind, without a word being spoken by either of us. The
apartment, besides the ordinary furniture of a lodging-room,
contained a few shelves of books, indicating some pursuit more
creditable to their owner than those which had rendered my
interference with them necessary. I had before been told
that he was somewhat diligent in the cultivation of his intellect.
Setting down his lantern upon the table, he reached up
and took down a rifle which was suspended to the wall, directly
over his bed, a fit emblem for one engaged in rifling the mails.
Although the moodiness which he had displayed during
our intercourse that evening, had not surprised me, yet I was
by no means prepared to expect that he would resort to such
extreme measures as his movements seemed to indicate.
I was uncertain what to do.    " The better part of valor"





ESCAPE OF A MAIL ROBBER.


231


being "discretion," it was by no means clear whether this
same discretion required me to rush upon him, or to make a
precipitate retreat down the ladder, or to jump and disappear
in the darkness below. There was evidently no time to lose,
for the deadly weapon was already pointed in my direction,
and its desperate owner was fumbling about the stock, as if, in
the dim light, he could not easily find the lock.
Springing towards him, I seized the rifle by the barrel,
remarking, that I wished he would not turn the muzzle upon
me, and then I saw what he was attempting to do. Hie had
crammed the stolen notes into the 1" patch-box" of the rifle,
and was endeavoring to get them out, which he could not
readily effect as they were tightly wedged in. I cheerfully
volunteered to assist him, and by our united efforts, the debt
was discharged instead of the rifle! In other words, I recovered
the identical bank-notes, deposited in the office by the cashier
several weeks previously, all in one hundred dollar bills.
The evidence furnished by the "patch-box," was of course
amply sufficient to convict the depredator, had other proof
been wanting, and he was recently sentenced to ten years'
imprisonment in the State Prison.
An ingeniously planned and successfully executed escape
of a mail robber from prison, occurred in Troy, New York, less
than a year ago.
This person had held the office of post master in a place of
some note in the Northern part of New York. He was a man
of education, and connected by birth and marriage with some
of the most respectable and influential families in that part
of the State, and in the Province of Canada.
These favorable circumstances, however, did not prevent
him from becoming seriously embarrassed in his pecuniary
affairs, by which he was led, in an evil hour, to resort to mail
depredations, continuing them until this course was cut short





232


SYMPATHIZING FRIENDS.


by his detection and arrest. As he failed to give the requisite
bail, he was thrown into prison to await his trial, which was
to take place in the course of a few weeks.
As the efforts which he and his friends had made to secure
the intervention of the Post Master General for postponing
the trial were unavailing, and the direct and positive proof
against him made it certain that he would be doomed to at
least ten years' imprisonment at hard labor, the desperate
expedient of breaking jail seemed to be the only hook left to
hang a hope upon.
He occupied a large room, adjoining that of the notorious
murderess Mrs. Robinson, and had for his room-mate a person
who had been committed for some minor offence.
He was frequently visited by his relations, whose high
respectability exempted them from the close examination
which should have been made by the jailor, to ascertain that
they carried no contraband articles on their persons. Respectability in this case, as in many others, served as a cloak to
devices from which rascality derived more benefit than the
cause of justice.
These afflicted friends, in the course of their visits, contrived to supply the prisoner with the tools necessary to enable
him  to effect his escape from "durance vile."    Sighs and
saws, regrets and ropes, anguish and augers, were mingled
together, supplying both consolation for the past and hope for
the future.
The time selected for the escape was a Sabbath night. The
first thing discovered by the jailor on the next morning, was
a rope suspended from a back-hall window in the second story,
and reaching to the ground, the window being open. On
ascending the stairs, he found in the partition separating the
mail robber's room from the hall, an opening about large
enough to admit of the egress of a small person; and on
entering the room but one occupant appeared, who was fast
asleep; but the mail robber was gone.
It was with the utmost difficulty that the sleeper could be





DRUGGING A ROOM-MATE.


233


aroused. He was evidently under the influence of some powerful narcotic, as was fully shown by his replies to the interrogatories of the jailor after he had sufficiently recovered from
his stupefaction to understand what was said to him.
His story was, that on the previous evening he was complaining of a severe cold, whereupon his sympathizing roommate remarked that he had some medicine that was just the
thing for such complaints, and offered to give him a dose, if
he wished to try it. To this the unsuspecting victim of sharp
practice assented; and the amateur "M. D." measured out a
quantity sufficient for the purpose intended, first pretending
to swallow a dose himself, in order to convince his patient
that the medicine was perfectly safe.
One of the last things that the patient remembered on the
night in question, was that about eleven o'clock he was affected
by a very drowsy sensation which he could not overcome, and
that he lay down on his bed to sleep. About this time his
attending physician came to him and inquired " how he felt;"
to which he replied, " very sleepy." His benevolent friend
assured him   that this was a "favorable sign," and asserted
further that he would be "all right by morning." At the
same time showing his solicitude for his companion's comfort
by taking the pillow from his own bed and placing it under
his head.
The cause of these phenomena stood revealed, in the shape
of a vial labeled "Laudanum," which was found upon a
table in the room. Near it lay a note addressed to the jailor,
of which the following is a copy.
Sunday Night.
Dear Sir,
Intelligence of a very discouraging nature, informing me that my
approaching triAl is not to be postponed on any account, impels me to
make my way out of this place to-night.
Before doing so, however, I have to thank you for your kindness to
me. I am also indebted to Dr. M. for his attention to my comfort,
and I regret that interests of the highest importance require me to
take a step which may lead some people to find fault with you. All
20*





234


A SOOTHING LETTER.


that I can say about that is, that I have been fortunate in eluding
your vigilance as a public officer.
The effects I leave behind me should be sent by express to my
friends in P--, who no doubt will pay all expenses incurred by me
while I was with you. Any letters coming here may be forwarded to
me at P--, that is, after waiting a week when my brother is to be
at that place.
With a renewal of my acknowledgments for your goodness, I remain
Respectfully yours,
A. C. N.
To J. Price, Esq., Sheriff, &o.
Among the " effects," left behind, were sundry saws, files,
and chisels of the best workmanship and materials; a large
roll of putty, to have been used in concealing the saw-marks,
in case a second night's labor had been required; and a valise
containing a variety of books, wearing apparel, and letters
received from his friend during his confinement. One of them
was from his wife, a young, lovely, and accomplished woman.
It is full of love, devotion, and Christian resignation, and ends
as follows:"The dear baby is quite well, and is growing finely every day.
She is a dear, beautiful child. Oh that God may keep her for us both,
for she will make us so happy, she binds us so closely together.
"Here are some lines which I have preserved for some time. They
have often comforted me, and I hope your feelings are such that they
may comfort you."
"GOD'S WAY IS BEST."
This blessed truth I long have known,
So soothing in its hopeful toneWhate'er our trials, cares and woes,
Our Father's mercy freely flowsThat on his bosom we may rest,
For God is good, "His way is best."
Trouble without and grief within,
Are the sure heritage of sin;
And e'en affection's voice may die
In the last quivering, gasping sigh;
But what though death our souls distress,
'Twere better thus--" God's way is best."





MORAL GYMNASTICS.


235


Misfortune's dark and bitter blight
May fall upon us like the night;
Our souls with anguish may be torn
When we are called o'er friends to mourn;
But what assurance doubly blest,
To feel that all "God's ways are best."
Yes, glorious thought I in yonder sky
Are joys supreme which never dieThat when our earthly course is run,
We'll live in regions of the sun;
And there, upon the Savior's breast,
We'll sing for aye, " God's way is best."
It was a doctrine advanced by Mahomet, that all men after
death were obliged to cross a fiery gulf, upon a bridge as narrow as a single hair.   The good always succeeded in effecting
their passage safely, while the wicked were precipitated into
the depths below.
This idea might be extended to the present life, by way of
illustrating the difficulties which beset those who follow a
criminal course, and attempt to conceal the fact from the eyes
of others. A step too far, or not far enough, this way or that,
is sufficient to cause them to slip, and this kind of tight-rope
balancing is a species of moral gymnastics, in the execution
of which few are successful.
A specimen of this was once furnished me by a post master
against whom serious complaints had been made to the Department, but who was not aware of the existence of such charges.
In the course of several interviews which I held with him, I
gave him not the remotest hint that I suspected his integrity,
yet (probably on the principle of taking medicine when one is
well, or thinks he is, in order to be better) he resorted to
several somewhat original expedients to establish a character
for honesty in my estimation.
The most striking of these was the following:




236


A FOOLISH DEVICE.


As I entered the vestibule of the office one day, he pretended
to pick up a ten dollar note from the floor.
After the usual morning salutation, he said,
' I am in luck, this morning. I just picked up here a ten
dollar bill, and I must see if I can't find the owner; " and he
forthwith proceeded to write a flaming placard, announcing
the finding of "a sum of money" outside the delivery window,
and to post it in a conspicuous place.
His singular manner, however, while speaking of the money,
ind while engaged in drawing up the notice, attracted my
attention, and I became strongly impressed with the belief that
the whole affair was one of those silly devices which are as
effectual in preventing the detection of those who employ them,
as is the device of the ostrich, in hiding his head under his
wing, to conceal him from his pursuer.
It occurred to me, after a little reflection, that I had seen a
well-known merchant in the place hand the post master a ten
dollar note the day previous, in payment for postage stamps.
This fact was confirmed by inquiries which I made of the
merchant, who further informed me that he could recognise
the bill if he should see it again, from the initials which it
bore of a correspondent, who had sent it to him by mail a few
days before. Having ascertained what these initials were,
(" C. P.,") I took occasion to examine the note, (which the
post master had rather ostentatiously laid aside in a drawer, to
be ready for the owner whenever he should claim it,) and found
the " C. P." upon it.
After the notice of the finding had been posted some twentyfour hours without the appearance of any claimant, I suggested
to the honest finder, by way of annoying him a little in return
for his attempted deception, that as the money was found
within the post-office limits, the Department would probably
require that it should pass into the United States Treasury, in
the same way as funds contained in dead letters for which no
owners can be found.
This view of the case did not seem to strike him favorably.





PROVOKING INTERRUPTION.


237


He looked blank, but attempted to pass it off as a joke, by
saying that he didn't know that the post-office was a dead
letter.
The next morning the placard had disappeared, and the
post master informed me that a stranger had called late on the
evening before, who claimed and described the bill, and to
whom it was accordingly surrendered!
The termination of this case fully confirmed my opinion of
the post master's double-dealing in relation to this affair.
It sometimes happens that the ends of justice are best
secured by allowing criminals to go on for a time unmolested
in their course, and even by affording them facilities for the
commission of offences, which will be to them as snares and
pitfalls. When means like these are adopted for the detection
of crime, a temporary check to the operations of the suspected
persons, from whatever cause arising, creates some additional
trouble and anxiety to those who are endeavoring to ferret out
the evil-doer, and provokes a degree of exasperation toward
his unconscious abettor.
Such an untimely interference with plans carefully laid, and
carried out at a considerable expense of time and effort, once
occurred while the author was attempting to bring to light an
unscrupulous depredator, in whose detection the public was
much interested, as many had suffered by the loss of money
sent through his office.
I had been hard at work for a week in pursuing this investigation, having for the third time passed decoy letters over the
road on which the suspected office was situated, (the road being
one of the roughest kind, about forty miles in length, and
very muddy,) and was flattering myself that that day's work
would enable me to bring my labors to a conclusion satisfactory
to the public and myself, if not to the delinquent; when my
hopes were, for the time, dashed to the ground by the innocent
hand of the village parson.





238


DEFEATED BY A " DOMINIE."


And it happened in this wise:The mail carrier was instructed to throw cff his mail, as
usual, at the suspected office, and to remain outside, in order
to afford the post master a good opportunity for the repetition
of the offence which he was supposed to have committed, the
Agent being all the time a mile or two in advance, in another
vehicle, impatiently waiting to learn the fate of his manoeuvres.
As the part of the road where I was stationed, was in the
midst of woods, and the carrier had no passengers, no particular
caution was needed in conducting the conversation, and before
my associate had reached me, he called out,
" I guess you'll have to try it again; the Dominie was there
and helped to overhaul the mail to-day."
The sportsman, who, having just got a fair sight at the bird
which he has been watching for hours, beholds it, startled by
some blunderer, flying off to " parts unknown;" the angler,
who, by unwearied painstaking, having almost inveigled a
"monarch of the pool" into swallowing his hook-sees a stone
hurled by some careless hand, descending with a splash, and
putting an end to his fishy flirtation;-these can imagine my
feelings when the mail carrier made the above announcement.
"' Confound the Dominie," involuntarily exclaimed I, " why
couldn't he mind his own business?"
I examined the mail bag, but nothing was missing except
the matter that properly belonged to that office.
But at the next trial, the parishioner did not have ministerial
aid in opening his mail, and accordingly, probably by way of
indemnifying himself for his forced abstinence, he not only
seized the decoy package, but several others.
The following day, instead of overhauling the mail, he was
himself thoroughly overhauled by an United States Marshal.
A man of such weak virtue, should hire a " dominie" by
the year, to stand by and help him resist the devil, during the
process of opening the mails.





THE INVALID WIFE.


239


Not the least painful of the various duties connected with
the detection of crime, is the sometimes necessary one of
revealing a husband's guilt to his wife.
I anticipated a severe trial of my feelings in making such a
disclosure during the progress of a recent important case where
the mail robber was in possession of a mail-key by means of
which he had committed extensive depredations. He was at
length detected, and has lately entered upon a ten years' term
in the State Prison.
On his arrest he manifested much solicitude for his wife,
fearing that the intelligence of his situation would overpower
her. " She is in feeble health at best," said he, " and I am
afraid this will kill her."
It was necessary, however, that I should see her in order
to get possession of some funds, a part of the proceeds of the
robberies, which her husband had committed to her keeping.
Furnished with a written order from the prisoner, and leaving
him in the Marshal's custody, I proceeded to call on the
invalid, racking my brains while on the way to her residence,
for some mode of communicating the unpleasant truth which
should disclose it gradually, and spare her feelings as much as
possible.
On my arrival at the boarding-house, the note was sent to
the lady's room. It read as follows:My dear Susan:
Will you hand to the bearer a roll of bank-notes which I left with
you.
EDWIN.
The lady soon made her appearance. She was young, rather
prepossessing, and evidently in delicate health. Finding that
I was the bearer of the note, she addressed me, expressing
great surprise that her husband had sent a request so unusual;
and with an air of independence observed that she did not
"know about paying over money under such circumstances to
an entire stranger."





240


THE ANNOUNCEMENT.


Desiring not to mortify her unnecessarily by making explanations in the presence of others, I requested her to step into
a vacant room near at hand, and after closing the door, I said
in a low tone,
"It is an extremely painful thing for me, Mrs. M--,
but as you do not seem inclined to comply with your husband's
order, I must tell you plainly that the money was taken from
the mails by him. There is no mistake about it. He has had
a mail-key which I have just recovered, and has made a full
acknowledgment of his numerous depredations. I beg of yoi
to bear this dreadful news with fortitude.    No one will
think less of you on account of his dishonest conduct."
I expected to see the poor woman faint immediately, anc
had mentally prepared myself for every emergency, but, a
moment after, Ishould have been more likely to have fallen
into that condition, if astonishment could ever produce such
an effect, for as soon as I had finished what I was saying, she
stood, if possible, more erect than before, and with some fire
in her eye, and one arm 'akimbo,' she replied in a spirited
manner,
"Well, if he has done that, he's a dam'd fool to own it
--I wouldn't!"
She gave up the money, however, soon after, and although
the recklessness displayed in the speech above quoted seemed
to make it probable that she was implicated in her husband's
guilt, it afterwards appeared that this exhibition of " spunk"
was due to the impulses of a high-spirited and excitable nature,
which sometimes, as in the present instance, broke away from
control, and went beyond the bounds of decorum. Such an
ebullition of passion indicated, in her case, a less degree of
moral laxity than it would have shown in one differently constituted.
In a subsequent examination of their apartment in search of
other funds and missing drafts, a touching incident occurred,
itrikingly displaying, when taken in connection with the





A TOUCHING INCIDENT.


241


outbreak just mentioned, the lights as well as shades of an impulsive character.
During this examination, it became necessary to investigate
the contents of a well-filled trunk, and this was done by the
lady herself, under my supervision. After several layers of
wearing apparel had been taken out, she suddenly paused in
her work, and wiped away a falling tear, as she gazed into the
trunk. Thinking that some important evidence of her husband's crimes was lurking beneath the garments remaining,
and that her hesitation was owing to reluctance on her part to
be instrumental in convicting him, I reached forward and was
about to continue the examination myself, when she interposed
her arm and said sobbingly,
"Those are the little clothes of our poor baby,-they
haven't been disturbed since his death, and I can't bear to
move them."
A second glance into the trunk confirmed her sad story, for
there were the little shoes, scarcely soiled, the delicately embroidered skirts and waists,-all the apparel so familiar to a
mother's eye, which, in its grieving remembrance of the
departed child,
" Stuffs out his vacant garments with his form."
A similar affliction had taught me to appreciate the sacredness of such relics, and I waited in sympathizing silence,
until she could command her feelings sufficiently to continue
the search.
She soon resumed it, and the contents of the trunk were
thoroughly examined, yet none of the lost valuables were
found therein.


21





CHAPTER XVIII.


FRAUDS CARRIED ON THROUGH THE MAILS.
Sad Perversion of Talent-Increase of Roguery-Professional Men
suffer-Young America at the " Bar"-Papers from LiverpoolThe Trick successful-A legal Document-Owning up-A careless
Magistrate-Letters from the Un-duped.
Victimizing the Clergy-A lithograph Letter-Metropolitan Sermons
-An up-town Church-A Book of Travels-Natural ReflectionsWholesome Advice.
The Seed Mania-Strong Inducements-Barnes' Notes-"< First rate
Notice"-Farmer Johnson-Wethersfield outdone-Joab missing.
"Gift Enterprise"-List of Prizes-The Trap well baited-Evading
the Police-The Scrub Race.
AN incalculable amount of talent is perverted to dishonest
purposes, thereby becoming a gift worse than useless to its
possessors, and a fruitful source of evil to the community.
Such misemployed ability is like the " staff of life," turned by
a magic worse than Egyptian, into the serpent of death. And
the brilliancy which surrounds the successful development of
some deep-laid plan of knavery-the admiration which it involuntarily excites, in the mind even of those who abhor the
deed, and condemn the cunning designer, render such misdirected powers doubly dangerous, by exciting in the weakminded and evil-disposed a desire to emulate such wonderful
achievements, and to become notorious, if they cannot make
themselves famous.
(242)





ABUSE OF THE MAILS.


243


It cannot be denied that a considerable degree of talent is
requisite to insure success, even in a course of knavery; and
by success I mean nothing more than that longer or shorter
career, which ends, if not always in detection, certainly in
disappointment and misery. Success, then, in this connection,
signifies putting off the evil day-a day which is as sure to
come as any other day. Time is an enemy which no rogue
can ever outrun.
Even such pitiful success as this is not within the grasp of
small abilities. The possessors of such moderate endowments
will find it emphatically true, that Honesty is the best policy
for them, however brilliant and seductive a dishonest course
may be.
When Shakspeare wrote, "Put money in thy purse," he
probably did not intend to exhort any one to pocket another's
money, but to confine himself to that which he actually possessed. But, judging by the number and variety of the ingenious frauds which are practised upon the community, the
saying in question seems to have been adopted in its most
unscrupulous sense as a principle, by sundry personages, more
remarkable for smartness than for honesty. Not a few of these
characters have selected the mails as the means of facilitating
their designs upon the pockets of the public at large.
"But this sort of thing is becoming too prevalent," as a
worthy magistrate was in the habit of remarking, when about
to sentence some pick-pocket or disturber of the peace; and
if the devices of the class of villains referred to continue to
increase as they have done for years past, semi-annual sessions
of the legislative branch of Government will scarcely suffice
for the enactment of penalties to meet the increasing exigencies of the case.
There is no end to the gross swindles of this description
now perpetrated or attempted, and requiring the utmost care
and watchfulness on the part of the public to avoid being
deceived by them. No class nor condition in society is exempt





244


PRACTISING AT THE BAR.


from these wiles; the most intelligent and shrewd being vie
timized quite as often as the credulous and inexperienced.
Lawyers, clergymen, editors, farmers, and even post masters,
have all in turn been swindled by means of facilities afforded
by the post-office system, the frauds ranging in magnitude and
importance, from imaginary papers of onion seed, to "calls"
for ministerial aid in the momentous work of converting "a
world lying in wickedness i"
It is with a view to put those who may peruse these pages
on their guard, that a few rare specimens of the tricks of these
"Jeremy Diddlers" are here exposed, most of which have
come to light within a few months of this present writing.
The first that we will describe, was perpetrated quite successfully upon the legal fraternity, and some of the most distinguished members of that highly useful profession in the
different States, will no doubt readily-recognise the truthfulness
of the picture, as it is held up to their gaze. This " dodge"
may properly be entitled
YOUNG AMERICA PRACTISING AT THE BAR.
In January of the present year, the post master of Brooklyn,
N. Y., called my attention to the fact that large numbers of
letters were arriving at that office to the address of "William
H. Jolliet," and that from some information he had received,
he was led to believe that the correspondence was in some way
connected with a systematic scheme of fraud.
Arrangements were accordingly made to watch the person
who was in the habit of inquiring for the " Jolliet" letters,
and the next time he called, which was in the evening, he was
followed as far as the Fulton ferry, detained just as he was
about to enter the ferry-boat, and questioned in reference to
the letters.
The person thus interrogated was an exceedingly intelligent
boy, about fifteen years of age, plainly but neatly dressed, and
of prepossessing manners, particularly for one so young.
When asked what he intended to do with the letters he had





INGENIOUS STATEMENTS.


215


just taken from the post-office, he manifested great self-possession, and apparently anticipating trouble, without allowing an
opportunity for a second question, he hurriedly asked,
"Why, what about this business?       I have been thinking
there might be something wrong about Jolliet's letters. I am
a student in a respectable law-office in New York, and would
not like to be involved in any trouble of this sort. I can tell
you, sir, all I know about these letters."
As his explanation will hereafter appear in full, suffice it
here to say, that he.threw the entire responsibility upon a
stranger whom he accidentally met in the Harlem cars. The
story was told with much apparent frankness, and a gentleman
passing along who knew the lad, and confirmed his statement as to his connection with a prominent law-office in New
York, he was allowed to go at large, under a promise that at
an appointed hour on the following day, he would call on the
Brooklyn post master, explain the matter more fully, and put
him in possession of facts which would enable the officers to
arrest Jolliet, if that was thought best.
The appointed time arrived, but the young man did not. A
rather voluminous package of papers, however, was sent as a
substitute. These papers are so well worded, and so formally
drawn up, that I will here introduce two of them       verbatim.
The reader will bear in mind that they are the production of
a boy only fifteen years of age:New York, January 26, 1855, 12, M.
Post Master, Brooklyn, L. I.
Dear Sir:
Being detained by important court business from attending to my
promise given to you yesterday to be at your office, I am obliged to
write to you. I enclose a statement of facts which I think sufficient
to get a warrant. It is sworn to by me before a Commissioner of
Deeds of New York, authorized to take acknowledgments for the
State.
I saw Mr. Jolliet yesterday evening. He does not suspect anything.
I told him that the mails had not arrived when I was over to Brooklyn,
yesterday; and, in course of the conversation, he told me he would
21





246


JOLLIET GOING A SLEIGHING.


take a sleigh ride to Snediker's on Saturday. Therefore, it is important
you should get a warrant, and take him upon that day. He also told
me he would have a white sleigh, a white robe, and a cream-colored
pair of horses. You can easily know him. I will be over, if no accident intervenes, to-morrow, say about 11 or 12 o'clock. I tracked
him to the Manhattan bar-room in Broadway, but could not find out
his residence, as he stayed too late. I think he is connected with a
gang of rascals who have made this kind of rascality their special
business.
I am acquainted with the District Attorney in this city, and have
thought of getting him to bring the case before the grand jury, and
get a bench warrant out in New York against Jolliet, in case you should
think it advisable.
Meanwhile, I will remain still about the matter until I hear from
you again.
Yours, very truly.
Annexed is the statement of facts alluded to above:Statement of Facts. A.
During the month of November or Decemoer, 1854, I became
acquainted with a man whom I knew by the name of William H.
Jolliet. He seemed to be about 25 or 30 years of age, and, by hit
dialect, of English parentage; he was genteelly dressed, and seemec
to be a gentleman by his talk and manners. He came to know me
from often seeing me on the cars of the New York and Harlem Rail
Road, and often talking to me. I am in the habit of doing copying,
&c., for pay, and therefore was willing to do anything in that way,
under the usual circumstances-that is, for pay.
He asked me one day if I was a man of business. I told him I
was. He then asked me if I could make a copy of a note he had in
his pocket, and show it to him the next time I should meet him, and
not to say anything about it to anybody. I told him I would. He
gave it to me, and it was something as follows-that is, substantially:Brooklyn, L. I., Jan. 6, 1855.
Sir:
I have received a package of papers for you from Liverpool, England, with six shillings charges thereon-on receipt of which amount
the parcel will be sent to you by such conveyance as you may direct.
Yours, respectfully,
WILLIAM H. JOLLIET.





PLAYING THE TRAITOR,


247


I met him one or two days afterwards, and gave him his original,
and my copy. He said it was very well done, but looked too much
like a law-hand, and asked me if I couldn't write more of a mercancantile-lyoking hand. I told him I supposed I could. He then gave
me my copy, and told me to buy some paper, and make as many copies
as I could, and direct them one to each of the names he gave me on
a list, and mail them. I told him I would. This was on a Saturday
evening; and on Sunday afternoon I wrote about a hundred copies
of them, and directed them and sent them. I met him on Monday,
and he asked me if I had done it. I told him I had; he then asked
for the list of names he had given me, and I handed it to him. He
asked if I knew the names I had directed the letters to. I told him
I did not, although I did well, my suspicions about him having been
aroused by his request for secrecy.
On that Sunday on which I wrote the notes, I made up my mind
to play traitor to him, by sending the notes as directed, and keeping
all answers which he should get (he having told me to call for them
at the Brooklyn Post Office), and then delivering them, with my evidence, to officer B--, in New York, whom I know well by reputation as a good officer, and an American in fact and principle. This
was foiled by my disclosures to the Post Master of Brooklyn, on
Thursday.
At the time he asked me to make the copies of the note, he gave
me a five-dollar gold piece, to defray expenses. I have kept a copy
of the list he gave me, and also of another which he had given me,
and which I returned in the same way. I have mailed about 200
letters in all. At the time he ordered me to make the copies of the
letter and mail them, he requested me to make a letter and direct it
to him at Brooklyn, and mail along with the others. I did so, but I
asked him what this was for, and he said he wanted to know how long
it would take for a letter to go from New York to Brooklyn. But I
did not believe him, and this formed part of the causes for my suspicions. I afterwards received the letter, I think it was Tuesday, and
gave it to him. At the time of my first mailing the letters, I dropped,
by carelessness, a list of the names of persons to whom they were
directed, along with them. Could this list be got, it would tell us a
great deal about the transaction, and then we could have a complete
list of all the persons addressed. It was dropped in one of the three
new boxes on the south-west corner of the New York Post-Office.
I have seen him since he first spoke to me about this affair, five or
six times, (once on Friday, Saturday, Monday, and Tuesday, and twice





248


THE AFFIDAVIT.


on Wednesday, I believe.) He lives in Harlem, I think. I don't
know anything further of interest, and close with the ardent wish,
that a King's county officer will get the credit of catching one of the
greatest scoundrels that ever lived, thereby ridding the community
of him.                                              G. H. B.
City of Brooklyn,
County of Kings, ss.
G. H. B-, of the city of New York, student at law above named,
being duly sworn, doth depose and say that he has read the foregoing
statement, and knows the contents thereof, and that the same is true
of his own knowledge.                                G. H. B.
Sworn before me this
26th January, 1855.
B. T. B-,
Comr. of Deeds.
Being satisfied that a young lad of sufficient abilities to compose these documents in such a style, could not have been
made the innocent dupe of any one, especially a stranger, I
determined to lay the whole matter before his employer, a prominent member of the New York bar. He had heard nothing
of it before, and was much pained to hear my narration, for
he was warmly attached to the young student, who, up to that
time had enjoyed his entire confidence, and for whose improvement and legal education he had taken unusual pains.
A moment's reference to the Law Register, a work containing the names and residences of all the members of the legal
profession in every State in the Union, and to be found in
almost every law office, showed the source whence he had obtained the list which had been C "dropped by carelessness" into
the post-office, for pencil marks appeared against the names
of most of the country lawyers, but including none of those
that had ever been correspondents of the firm with which he
was connected!
The opinion that there was no accomplice, nor even principal, in the case, beyond the boy himself, was fully coincided
in by his employer, and it was at once decided to call the lad
up for a private examination.





PRIVATE EXAMINATION.


249


I thought, as he entered the room, cap in hand, and with
an air of perfect nonchalance, that I had seldom seen a more
expressive and intelligent countenance. His high forehead,
adorned with graceful curls of brown hair, his full and laughing eye, and the regular features of his face, seemed made for
some better use than to delude unwary victims.
"George," said his employer, "what do these Jolliet letters mean, that you have been sending all over the country?"
Boy.-" I will tell you all I know about it, sir.   Some
weeks since, as I was coming in town one morning, in the
Harlem cars, a man calling himself Jolliet-- "
Agent.-" Stop, George, and hear me a moment before you
go further. We don't want to hear that story. We know
there is no such person as Jolliet, and if you go on with such
a statement before Mr. F.," (his employer,) " your pride will
render it harder for you to make the acknowledgments that I
know you must come to. You have had no accomplice, and
if you will bring me the Law Register, I will show you where
you got the names of the lawyers to whom you sent the
letters."
Mr. F.--"Now, George, you see that Mr. H. knows all
about it, and I hope you will not attempt to deny the truth.
I am deeply pained to find that you have been guilty of such
misdemeanors; and I trust, for your own sake, that you will
make a clean breast of it."
After a pause of a few moments, the young man acknowledged, that, being "hard up," he had resorted to this plan
to obtain funds, and that he knew no such person as " William
H. Jolliet."
Agent.-" How then could you have sworn to the statement you sent to the Brooklyn post master?  You must have
been aware that in so doing, you were committing perjury."
Boy.-" Ah! but I did not swear to it. My name is attached to the affidavit, it is true, but having prepared it beforehand, I spoke to the Commissioner just as he was leaving





250


A CARELESS MAGISTRATE.


the officer, and he signed it, but in his hurry he forgot to administer the oath."
Agent.-" But that omission must have been merely accidental. Supposing he had required the usual ceremony, what
would you have done?"
Boy.-" I have so often seen him omit it, that I took that
risk. If he had insisted, I should have backed out."
Subsequent inquiry satisfied me that the Commissioner in
question, having often had occasion to sign affidavits for the
young man, in the course of the office business, was not always particular in administering the oath, and that it was no
doubt neglected in the present instance.
The punishment inflicted in this case, was all that the most
indignant victim of the fraud would have demanded; and
there is reason to believe that a permanent reformation in the
character of the young man has been the result; and that the
rare talents which he possesses, will yet be found arrayed on
the side of honesty and virtue.
Answers to the Jolliet letters continued to arrive from all
parts of the country, for some time after the discovery of the
fraud, as here related. The letters that had accumulated in
the Brooklyn Post Office, were sent to the Dead Letter Office,
opened, and subsequently returned to their respective owners,
with their contents, accompanied by a proper explanation.
In nearly every instance, the dodge had been successful.
The six shillings, or that amount in postage stamps, were duly
enclosed; and, in some instances a dollar, to make even
change, with directions for forwariding the mysterious package.
Such an unexpected notice had no doubt given rise in many
cases to sundry visions of heavy fees, which were to flow in
upon the fortunate correspondent of Jolliet, for conducting
the business of some wealthy capitalist of the old world, who,
attracted by his professional fame, was about to confide to him
matters of great weight and importance-perhaps some complicated law-suit, the successful issue of which would bring
him a wealth of reputation and money, compared with which





A LEGACY IN PROSPECT..251


the outlay of six shillings was an item too contemptible to be
regarded.
Or some sanguine individual might scent out a legacy in the
"package from Liverpool."
People were dying every day in England, whose heirs lived
in this country. It was not very unusual for persons to inherit immense fortunes from those whose names they had never
heard. It might make the difference of thousands of dollars
to a man whether his name was Brown or White, when some
possessor of one or the other name came to leave his property
behind him. And it would be a pity to lose the chance of
securing a handsome property for one's self, or the opportunity
of acting as agent for somebody else, though the whole affair
might prove but a hoax, and the chance of thus finding a fortune rather less than the prospect of drawing a prize in a
"gift lottery."
It was amusing to peruse the letters which the Agent received from those who had been swindled, acknowledging the
safe return of the letter and money which they had sent to
Jolliet. Most of them were " well satisfied" when they sent
the money, " that it was all a hoax," but then it was a small
sum that he applied for, and they thought they would send it
to the fellow for the ingenuity he had displayed in "raising
the wind!" All, however, seemed very glad to get their money
again, even at the risk of allowing such talent to go unrewarded.
Some wary old heads, too acute to be caught by such chaff,
took the precaution to request Jolliet to call on their friends in
New York, leave the package, and get the six shillings. Another directed that it should be left at the Express Office, the
expenses paid there, and when the parcel arrived, the entire
charges would be promptly met.
Two or three, not content with informing Jolliet that he
had not taken them in, indulged in a somewhat sarcastic style
of correspondence. The following are two specimens of this
kind of reply:




252


JOLLIET CROSS -QUESTIONED.


P-, Feb. 2, 1855.
Mr. Wm. H. Jolliet,
Sir:
I am in receipt of a note from you, informing me that you have in
your possession a package for me from Liverpool, Eng., on which
there is a charge of 6s. sterling, and which you will send to me on
receipt of the above sum.
Sir, I cannot but think it a little strange that my large circle of
friends and correspondents in Liverpool (a circle which may be represented thus, 0) should have thought it necessary for parcels which
they send me, to pass through your hands, unless you have some
connection with the friends aforesaid, unknown to me. Before I send
you the sterling money, I should like answers of the like quality, to
some or all of the following interrogatories:1st. Who are you?
2d. Who knows you?
3d. Who do you know?
4th. Is "iWm. H. Jolliet" the name given you in baptism?
5th. Wouldn't you receive less than six shillings, if you could
get it?
6th. Do you think you have taken me in?
7th. After reading the above, please inform me whether you remain Jolly yet.
Not your victim,
JNO. S
H-, Jan. 28, 1855.
Sir:
I know I am ambitious. I have my aspirations. My fame may be
extending. Perhaps it is. I had thought it was local; confined to
this county, certainly to the State. But it seems that I am known
abroad, and you wish me to pay the moderate sum of seventy-five
cents for verifying the fact. Sir, I am an Anglo-Saxon. I rejoice in
it. And I don't doubt that somewhere between Adam's time and
mine, some of my progenitors have inhabited England. But I believe
they have all died or moved away. So you see it isn't likely that I
have any relations in Liverpool, whence came the package you say is
in your hands.
In the next place, sir, living as I do in an inland town, I know
little of those " who go down to the sea in ships." (David, Psalms,
Cap. 107.) And all my particular friends are in this country, according to the best of my knowledge and belief. But no others than the





VICTIMIZING THE CLERGY.


253


individuals I have cited, would be likely to send me packages from
foreign lands. It therefore follows, sir, that the aforesaid package
is not in rerum natura. I shall be happy to receive from you any
facts which may vitiate this conclusion.
Pending this, I remain yours, &c.,
ED. B
Mr. Wm. H. Jolliet.
We have allowed the lawyers to lead off in the melanicholy
procession of victims of rascality which we have undertaken
to display to our readers; and it is our design, in marshaling
our regiment of "the Great Deluded," to place the clergy
second in order. Lawyers are (or ought to be) hard-headed,
with little faith in mankind at large; while it is the general
characteristic of clergymen to be soft-hearted, and to trust,
sometimes 1" not too wisely, but too well," in the integrity of
their fellow men.   In addition to the weak points which they
may have in common with all, and through which they are
liable to be successfully assailed, the cultivation of that spirit
of charity which 1" thinketh no evil" makes them slow in suspecting villanous designs on the part of others; and renders
them an easy prey to those who are unscrupulous enough to
use their unsuspecting disposition as a means of carrying into
effect their own base purposes.
In making these remarks, we are far from wishing to cast
any slur upon the native shrewdness or penetration of the
clergy, which would be unjust to them, (for there are few
keener intellects than those that are possessed by some who
are members and ornaments of this body,) but our object is
simply to mention some of the causes which often make them
the victims of imposition. Many of them, especially those who
live in the country, occupied as they are with the duties of
their calling, in the retired life of the study, and in intercourse with the comparatively honest and virtuous community
in which their lot is cast, are somewhat secluded from the
22





254


METROPOLITAN SERMON.


world at large, and know little, except by report, of the innumerable forms of deceit and iniquity that people enact, who
live outside of their own quiet boundaries. This is, perhaps,
less generally true at the present time than it was years ago,
before the increased facilities for communication had given
equal facilities to rogues, who have chosen our large cities as
a field for their nefarious operations, and have extended them,
by means of the mails, to the remotest corners of the country.
The trick which we are about to describe was attempted on
a large scale, and the trap set for unwary clergymen was
sprung in almost every section of the country, with considera-.
ble success, though some of the intended victims were too
wary to be thus swindled.
The trap alluded to was in the form of a letter, of which
the following is a copy:New York, Sunday, March 18, 1855.
Brother P-:
Being at leisure this afternoon, and somewhat wearied rather than
refreshed by the morning's discourse of our respected pastor, I have
concluded to sit down and write you, though utterly unacquainted
save in that sympathy which persons of like temperament involuntarily
feel toward one another.
It is the apparent coldness and formality of our metropolitan sermons that has led me, by a pleasant contrast, to think of you. I
heard you once, while passing through your place-a sermon that
has many times recurred to my memory, though its calm piety and
deep perception of human nature may be weekly occurrences to your
congregation. I have several times thought it would be well for our
church to call on you for a trial here. Our house is wealthy, and
" up town," though that is no matter.
I had almost given up the idea, when it was forcibly returned to
me yesterday by seeing a notice of you in the new publication of
travels through the States; in which I see the writer has heard you,
and was so impressed that he gives a strong description of you and
your style, so well according with my views, that I feel confirmed in
my opinion of you. You have probably seen it. And, aside from any
vanity at praise in print, or any pain at his censure, (for he finds fault,
too,) I think a preacher cannot too much study his style, in duty to





IMPORTANT POSTSCRIPT.


255


his Master and his people, by learning all he can of his hearers' views
of him, if not for the praise at least for the blame.
So you see I yet hope to sit under your ministrations. I wish you
would write me, immediately, what you think of coming here, if I
propose you. My bell has just rung for tea, and I close hastily, wishing you success in any field, and "many souls as seals of your
ministry."
Yours, in the Lord,
A. D. CONNELSON.
P. S.-If you have not seen the notice of you, (in the book I alluded
to,) I will get it for you. I believe it sells at a dollar and a hlialf, or
thereabouts.
I close in haste,
A. D.C.
Here is an instance of one who
"Stole the livery of Heaven
To serve the devil in."
The author of this production, which was lithographed, leaving only a space after the commencing word " Brother," for
the insertion of the name of the person addressed, was signed
in some copies as above, and in others by the name of "W. C.
Jansing."
We can easily imagine the effect of such an artful, flattering epistle upon the mind of some unsuspecting and humble
country pastor, whose chief ambition had hitherto been to
minister to the spiritual wants of his little congregation, and
who had never before indulged the thought of receiving a
" call" to the attractions and responsibilities of a city pastor's
life.  He taxes his memory in vain to recollect upon what occasion any stranger, who might represent the devout Connelson, had been present during his Sabbath services, and in like
manner fails to recall any reminiscences of the author, who,
in his " Travels through the States," had also heard him, and
was " impressed".so remarkably in accordance with Mr. Connelson's "views."    His opinion of his own abilities having
been elevated several degrees by the united testimony of two
such competent witnesses, he begins to think that after all, it





256


SENDING THE MONEY.


is not so very improbable that he should be thought of as a
candidate for that "wealthy" and "up-town church."
" Was not the distinguished Dr. L--     called from as small
a place as this, to the charge of a large city congregation?
And I remember that his abilities did not use to be so much
superior to mine."
With reflections like these, he works himself into a state of
mind that would prevent any surprise, were he some day to be
waited on by a committee from the church aforesaid, with the
request that he would favor the congregation with a specimen
of his preaching, with the additional view of securing the
"C pleasant contrast" to the " apparent coldness and formality
of metropolitan sermons," that might result from his ministrations. At any rate, it would be gratifying to him to see
for himself, what the traveling critic had said of him and his
sermons; not that he cared particularly about the opinion, so
far as he himself was concerned, but he would like to have
his people know that their minister had attracted the attention
of distinguished characters from abroad. So he replies to his
spontaneous correspondent, intimating that he should have no
objection to taking charge of the "up-town" church; and enclosing a dollar and a half, to purchase the book of travels,
which he does, not without misgivings that he is sacrificing
too large a portion of his slender salary, for indulgence in the
anticipated luxury.
It is almost needless to add, that the dollar and a half went
to the "bourne from which no traveler returns," and that
our clergyman did not, in this instance, display "that deep
perception of human nature," which so often recurred to the
mind of the admiring Connelson.
The operations of this worthy were soon stopped by the
New York post master, who, having received letters from some
of the shrewder members of the reverend body, enclosing the
above epistle, gave the matter in charge to the police, whose
movements alarmed the rogue, and blew up the cheat, before
many letters containing money had arrived. Enough came,





REPLY TO CONNELSON.


257


however, to show that had he not been disturbed, he would
have feathered his nest comfortably with the spoils of those
whom he had plucked.
These letters, remaining uncalled for, became "dead" in
due course of time, and were returned with their contents to
their authors; doubtless refreshing the heart of many a sorrowing minister, who supposed that he had seen the last of
his money, and had given up all hopes of receiving the promised quid pro quo.
I insert as a sort of epistolary curiosity, a letter addressed
to Connelson by one of his intended victims, which was sent
under cover to the New York post master, with the request
that he would read and deliver it, if he knew the whereabouts
of the person alluded to.
" F-, March 23, 1855.
"Mr. A. D. Connelson.
"Sir:
"I am in receipt of a communication from you, of the 18th inst.,
of whose flattering contents I have reason to believe that I am not the
only recipient; as I am not ignorant of the fact that the art of lithography can be employed to multiply confidential letters to any extent.
If, as you state, you have at any time heard a discourse from my lips,
I regret that the principles which it inculcated have produced so
little impression upon your actions, especially as it has 'many times
recurred to your memory.'
"There are truths, sir, in addition to those you may have heard on
the occasion referred to, (if there ever was any such occasion,) which,
judging from the apparent object of your letter, it might be profitable
for you to recall. I would recommend to your attention the truth
contained in the following saying of the wise man:-' The getting of
treasures by a lying tongue, is a vanity tossed to and fro of them that
seek death.'-Prov. 21, 6.
"You have expressed a hope 'to sit under' my 'ministrations.'
I trust you will be profited by the few words I now address to you,
and if you feel any disappointment in failing to find the expected
' dollar and a half, or thereabouts,' you will have to console yourself with the reflection, ' How much better is it to get wisdom than
gold? and to get understanding rather to be chosen than silver?'22





258


THE ONION SEED TRICK.


Prov. 16, 16. I give you the references to the passages quoted that
you may ruminate on them at your Sabbath's 'leisure,' which I
hope will hereafter be more profitably employed than in attempting
to perform the part of "a wolf in sheep's clothing."
"Your well-wisher,
G. J. T."
' P. S. If you ever happen to pass through this place again, and to
be detained over the Sabbath, your name, mentioned to the sexton,
or indeed, to any member of my congregation, will secure you as
good a seat as the house will furnish; and if you will inform me of
your intended presence, beforehand, I will endeavor to suit my discourse to your wants, if not to your wishes.
" 'Not what we wish, but what we want,
Do thou, 0 Lord, in mercy grant.'
"If, however, circumstances like some that I can foresee, if you continue in your present course, should prevent a visit to our place, I
hope you will manage to be satisfied with the ministrations of the
chaplain at Sing Sing, who, I understand, is an excellent, talented
man. And I trust that you and your traveled friend will agree as
well on the question of his merits as you have on those of others."
Further comment on this case is unnecessary; and we would
only say that any one suspecting an imposture in any such
mode as the foregoing, need not be prevented from indulging
in a reasonable suspicion, by the charitable thought, "This
person could not be such a rascal;" for it is a truth that should
be well known and acted upon, that no amount of hypocrisy,
deceit or audacity is too great to be practised by miscreants
like those whose villanous devices are to some extent exposed
in these pages.
THE ONION SEED TRICK.
"If you have tears, prepare to shed them now."
The next ingenious "dodge" to which I would call the
attention of my readers, is one which might be styled double.
barreled, inasmuch as it brought down both editors and
farmers simultaneously.





THE SEED MANIA.


259


The agricultural portion of community has been much
exercised of late years on the subject of seed. Astounding
stories have circulated through the newspapers from time to
time, concerning the wonderful prolific powers of certain kinds
of seed, and prices have in some instances been demanded for
these choice varieties, which remind one of the times when a
laying hen of the right breed would earn more per day for her
owner than an ordinarily smart negro. It really seemed to be
the belief of many enthusiastic persons, that seed could be
brought, by careful culture, to a pitch of perfection that would
almost render it independent of the assistance of mother earth,
save as a place to stand on. The improved seed was to do it
all. However desirable it might be to obtain seed which could
be warranted under all circumstances to produce heavy crops,
(which of course can always be done after a certain fashion,
by feeding it out to fowls,) this 1" good time coming" will not
be hastened, we apprehend, by the public-spirited efforts of
" Mr. Joab S. Sargent," notwithstanding the glowing prospects
held out in the following advertisement:FARMERS AND GARDENERS.-ATTENTION!
Spanish Onion Seeds.
The subscriber will send to any part of the United States and
Canada, a paper of the seeds of the above superior Onion, on the
receipt of ten cents (one dime.)
Farmers and Gardeners, see to it that you secure the best of seeds.
For a mere trifle now, you can put money in your pockets and fat on
your ribs.
Address,       JOAB S. SARGENT,
266 Hicks St., Cor. of State,
Brooklyn, N. Y.
P. S.-Publishers of newspapers giving the above and this notice
three insertions, calling attention editorially thereto, and sending
marked copies to the subscriber, will receive by return mail three
dollars' worth of the above seeds, or a copy of Barnes' notes on the
Gospels,valued at three dollars and fifty cents, or two dollars cash
Address plainly as above.
April 11, 1865.





260


A FIRST RATE NOTICE.


Observe how adroitly the cunning Joab aims his thrusts at
the most vulnerable spot in both classes of his victims.
" Publishers of newspapers," in the plenitude of Joab's
generosity, are to have their choice between the onion seeds,
the gospel, and the ready cash, if they will but make known
to the world the incomparable qualities of the genuine Spanish
article. And many of these publishers "called attention to
the same" with a will, as the following copy of one of those
notices will show:" SOMETHING NEW FOR FARMERS AND GARDENERS.-See our advertising columns. If you want large onions, get the real Spanish seed-a
change in the seed works wonders. We have seen bushels of onions
imported from Spain of half a pound weight each, and as large as
saucers."
It may be well to say here that no onion seeds, " Spanish"
or other, were sent in compliance with the many orders which
poured in upon the successful Sargent from all parts of the
country, excepting that a few of those first received were supposed to have been answered by the sending of a few seeds of
some kind, whether onion or grass, no one knew. Perhaps
the recipients will discover in the course of time. The editors
were equally unfortunate. Many of them selected the " Notes
on the Gospels" in preference to the seed or the money, yet
their wishes were not destined to be gratified.
Let us see how this tempting advertisement worked on the
farmers and gardeners.
Here is farmer Johnson, whose boy has just brought in his
weekly paper from the office, and who is proceeding to refresh
himself after the labors of the week, with the record of what
the world at large has been doing in the same time.      He
deliberately peruses the columns of his hebdomadal, dwelling
with solemnity on the more weighty articles, and endeavoring
to laugh over the funny ones, till, after having exhausted the
Sreading" department, his eye goes on in search of new
advertisements, which he can distinguish at a glance, for he





THE ELEPHANT TRICK.


261


knows all the old ones by heart. His attention is arrested by
the conspicuous heading, "SPANISH ONION SEEDS."          He
reads it over carefully, and studies every word, that he may be
sure that he fully and correctly understands it; and then comparing it with the editorial notice of the same thing, he
rapidly becomes convinced that Spanish onions must be great
things, and that ten cents may be safely invested in the
speculation. Visions of saucer-like onions rise before him; of
prizes in Agricultural Exhibitions; and if he is an inhabitant
of Connecticut, he fancies he sees the former renown-of the
ancient town of Pyquag, or Wethersfield, growing dim before
the lustre of Spanish onions.     Accordingly he sends the
required dime to Joab, who proved to be like the elephant
which had been trained to pick up coin from the ground and
place it on a lofty shelf. Upon a certain occasion, a young
gentleman was gratified by this performance, he having
furnished a half-dollar for the display of the animal's skill.
After the piece was safely deposited far out of reach, the
youth requested the exhibitor to "make him hand it down
again."   "We never learnt him that trick," was the reply!
The enterprising Joab reaped an abundant harvest of dimes,
and floods of papers poured into the Brooklyn post-office, each
one containing his advertisement marked, agreeably to its conditions, and a few words written upon it by the editor, making
his choice between the valuables promised by Sargent, and
directing how to send the books, when they were the articles
selected. These papers were of course charged with letter
postage, and as the quantity which had arrived was becoming
somewhat troublesome by its bulk, (since Joab took very good
care not to inquire for them,) the post master sent to 266 Hicks
Street, in order to notify him of the mass of news waiting for
him at the office, as well as to make some inquiries in reference to the voluminous correspondence in which Mr. Sargent
was engaged. But the person sent, returned with the report,
"non est inventus," and the wary deceiver, having doubtless
taken the alarm, came no more to the office to inquire for





A BOLD SWINDLE.


letters; so that although the rogue was " unwhipped of
justice," a stop was put to his unrighteous gains. This case
may serve as a warning to all, to look with distrust upon such
advertisements emanating from unknown individuals, especially
if the promises made are out of proportion to the "value
received." In the present imperfect state of human nature,
it is not common to find an individual offering through the
papers most disinterested proposals for the good of people in
general, without the fact coming to light sooner or later, that
he had rather more prominently in view his own good in
particular. And I will conclude with the following aphorism,
-If you want onion seed, or anything else, send where you
know you will not be cheated.
A GIFT ENTERPRISE.
The fraud of which I am about to speak, also depended in a
great measure for its success on the fact that it could be
carried on through the mails.
Gorgeous hand-bills were sent to the post-offices throughout
the country, accompanied with requests to the different post
masters to act as agents, and allowing them a liberal per-centage
on all tickets sold.  Those who read these handbills (suspended on the post-office walls,) and swallowed with expanded
eyes and capacious throats the magnificent promises which
they contained, could not determine by anything that appeared
on the surface, whether "'Dashall & Co." were real personages,
or merely figments of the brain; and if the former, whether or
not they were able and willing to meet their engagements.
The scheme certainly had as fair an appearance as any
" Gift Enterprise," and the " local habitation" and " name,"
which were appended, gave more probability to the idea that
the firm in question was not a myth but a reality. Thus it is
evident that no one could have detected the fraud without
entering into a course of investigation which would have
involved more time, trouble, and expense, than most people





TEMPTING PRIZES.                    263
would be willing to devote to the affair under the circumstances.
The following is a copy of " Dashall & Co's." list of prizes:
150,000 Presents to be given to the purchasers of the large and
elegant engraving of the " Inauguration of George Washington, President of the United States," from the celebrated painting of David Paul
Laurens. Price of engraving One Dollar, which includes a gift-ticket,
entitling the holder to a chance in the following list of magnificent
gifts.
The value of the presents, as appraised by a committee chosen for
the purpose, is $146,000, as follows:A splendid Farm on the Hudson River, completely stocked,
houses, &c...............$20,000
Stone Front Dwelling and Lot on Fifth Avenue, N. Y...  13,000
A magnificent gold Tea Service, property of the late G. Van
Denton...................   4,000
Silver Wine Service..............      1,000
The Race Horse " White Raven".........     8,000
Coach, Harness, and Horses, a magnificent establishment.  3,500
30 Shares Central Rail Road Stock.........  3,000
200 Fine Watches, $100 each..........       20,000
10,000 Gold Seals and Charms..........        10,000
10,000 Gold Pens and Silver Holders.........    5,000
100 Boxes Best Cigars............      500
100 Gold Guard Chains............             1,500
A splendid Buggy..............    190
"    Phaeton...............        1,000
A Horse, Harness, and Buggy, splendid affair....     500
An elegant Dog, St. Bernard..........           100
Splendid Fast-sailing Yacht, "' Spirit of the Wave"...  4,000
The fast and trim pleasure Yacht, "Evening Bird"...  1,000
A loan for 25 years...............    8,000
S       "..............     5,000
(...............   1,000
(all without interest.)
1 Rosewood Piano............800
3 Mahogany Pianos..............           1,500
A Farm in Ohio................                        4,000
A Farm in Kentucky..............           3,000
A Farm in Pennsylvania.............   6,000
A Farm in Massachusetts..........   10,000





264


ALL FOR A DOLLAR.


25,000 Vols. Poems...............   11,000
Statue of "Cigar Girl," by Reeves........         1,000
Also over 100,000 Paintings, Statues, Medals, Charts, Albums,
Valuable Books, and Portfolios of Engravings, making in all 150,000
gifts, which will be distributed by a committee appointed by the
Shareholders, and forwarded free of charge by the Public's obedient
servants,
DASHALL & CO.,
486 Broadway, New York.
Whoever concocted the above list certainly deserves credit
for the expansiveness of his views, the soaring flights of his
imagination, and the nicety with which he adapted his various
enticements to the different phases of human nature and life.
Was the reader of the hand-bill a "fast" youth?     To him
a dollar opened the prospect of "a horse, harness, and buggy,
-splendid affair;" or "a splendid, fast-sailing yacht;" or
"100 boxes best cigars;" or, as a companion to the above
cigars, " Statue of Cigar Girl, by Reeves." Did the list of
prizes attract the attention of a person agriculturally inclined?
To him a choice of farms was offered in the varied regions of
Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, Ohio, or Kentucky; or "a
splendid farm on the Hudson River" awaited some fortunate
individual, who had sufficient faith in good luck and ", DashaL
& Co.," to purchase the one hundred and fifty thousandth part
of a chance to secure that valuable property. The man of
business was tempted by sundry loans "for 25 years without
interest," and by "thirty shares of Central Rail Road stock."
Through what "' centre" this rail road ran, unless it was Dashall & Co's. office, the deponent sayeth not. Upon the man
of literary tastes, one dollar might confer " an elegant selected
library," while the lover of music was attracted by tl e offer
of elegant " rosewood and mahogany pianos."
Nor was the fairer portion of creation forgotten, in the
shower of gifts which was to fall on the 10th of March, 1855.
The ambitious lady, who had long sighed for more splendid
adornments to her table, could not read without emotion the





DESCENT OF THE POLICE.


265


promise of " a magnificent gold tea service, the property of
the late G. Van Denton."   As the lamented Van Denton was
doubtless known, in the circle of his acquaintance, as a man
of taste, the promised tea service must have been unexceptionable in that respect.
" Melodeons, Harps, Paintings, Albums, Portfolios of Engravings, &c.," formed a galaxy of attractions which drew
many a dollar from fair hands.
The engraving of the "Inauguration of George Washington" appealed to the patriotic feeling of every American.
What friend of his country would refuse to part with the
paltry sum of one dollar, which would enable him to possess
this transcendent work of art, copied from the "celebrated
painting" of the no less celebrated "David Paul Laurens;" a
blood relation, no doubt, of the departed "Van Denton."
Each ticket was so embellished with intimations of the rich
gifts possibly in store for its holder, as almost to make him
feel as if he were already driving a "blood horse," or taking
his ease in the " magnificent residence on the Hudson."
The reader is by this time probably aware of the true character of " Dashall & Co.," and their magnificent scheme. The
former were atrocious impostors, and the latter was only a bag
of wind.
The suspicions of the New York post master were excited
as to the character and destination of the numerous letters
which came addressed to the aforesaid firm; and the Chief of
the Police taking the matter in hand, a detachment from that
body made a descent on 486 Broadway, where they found a
respectable female of Milesian extraction, engaged in washing
the floor; and observed an open window, through which the
representative of Dashall & Co. had probably made his exit.
There was no furniture of any description in the room; so,
having secured neither "persons" nor "papers," the civil authority was compelled to beat a retreat, not without sundry
remonstrances from the old woman, touching the invasion of
her "clane flure."  She could tell them  nothing about the
23





266


CAUTION TO POST MASTERS.


firm, and only knew that she was sent there by the owner of
the room to " clane up," which occupation she resumed, after
imparting this information, with a vigor that threatened the
immediate submersion of the intruders.
The parties concerned in this fraudulent transaction are
supposed to have cleared upwards of fifty thousand dollars by
the operation, which, allowing for the per-centage to agents and
other expenses, proves conclusively that there was more than
that number of fools existing at the time in this enlightened
land. We would hope that those who were taken in by this
cheat, will not be thus deceived again.
We trust that the foregoing record of knavery, whose contrivers were indebted, in some measure, for the carrying out of
their plans, to the post masters who acted as agents, will have
the effect of producing greater caution on the part of these
officials as respects undertaking agencies for unknown individuals. It would seem that a proper regard for the public
interest would prevent any post master from lending himself,
even undesignedly, to a fraudulent scheme like this of "Dashall & Co." It would be easy to refuse to have anything to
do with proposed agencies, whose principals were not known
to the* post master, or concerning whom satisfactory information could not be obtained.
The adoption of this practice would seriously interfere with
the operations of the class of rogues who succeed in their villanous designs by making cats' paws of honest people in ways
similar to that above described. I do not hesitate to say that
thousands of dollars would every year be saved to those who
are now swindled out of their money, if post masters were to
take the course suggested, and refuse to allow hand-bills containing advertisements to be posted up in their offices, unless
they were satisfied of the reliability of the parties sending
them.





CHAPTER XIX.


POST-OFFICE SITES.
Embarrassing duty-An exciting Question-A " Hard Case"-Decease
of a Post Master-The Office discontinued-The other side-Call at
the White House-The Reference-Agent's Arrival-Molasses Incident-An honest Child-Slicking up-The Academy-Stuck fastThe Shoe Factory-A shrewd Citizen-The Saw Mill-A Tenantless
Building-Viewing the "Sites"-Obliging Post Master-The defunct Bank-A Funeral Scene-The Agent discovered-Exciting
Meeting-" Restoration Hall"-Eloquent Appeals-A Fire BrandCommittee on Statistics-Generous Volunteers-Being "put down"
--Good-nature restored-The Bill "settled"-A Stage RideHaving the last Word.
OF all the troublesome matters that have to be passed upon
and decided by the Head of the Post-Office Department, the
settlement of controversies involving the location of small postoffices, is undoubtedly the most perplexing, and difficult of
adjustment.
By such cases we are forcibly reminded of attempts which
we have witnessed in our younger days, to soothe the troubled
breasts of an angry swarm of bees, destitute of a queen, and
uncertain where to "locate."     Whoever tried to settle the
question before they settled, was pretty sure to get well stung
for his pains.
The difficulty above referred to arises from the conflicting,
contradictory representations made to the Department by interested parties, governed by as great a variety of motives as the
(267)





268


PERPLEXING SUBJECT.


number of individual whims and interests depending upon the
settlement of the "vexed question."     Notwithstanding the
voluminous documents and geographical information usually
tendered in these cases, those with whom the final decision
rests, often find themselves perplexed beyond measure, to
know what is for the true interests of a majority of the citizens
-that being the only object aimed at by the Departmentand deem it necessary, occasionally, to refer the subject to a
Special Agent, with instructions to visit the neighborhood,
make a personal inspection of the different sites proposed, and
decide, if possible, what the public interest and convenience
demand.
In some instances, where the emoluments of the office itself
would not exceed the sum of fifty dollars annually, and where
its entire abolishment would not prove any serious inconvenience, a whole neighborhood has been thrown into the most
intense excitement, and feuds and animosities have been engendered which the parties concerned will perhaps carry with
them to the grave.
But, like numerous other phases of post-office life, they furnish many admirable and instructive illustrations of human
nature as it is.
During his experience, the writer has himself been frequently charged with the duty of becoming the medium for
the settlement of local disputes such as have been alluded to;
and a difficult and unpleasant duty has he often found it,
though a better school for studying the selfishness and other
hard points of the human character, cannot be desired.
But the Government official who is sent to ascertain the
truth in one of these post-office disputes, will sometimes find
himself about as much embarrassed as have been his superiors,
and unless he is well posted up in the shrewd dodges and
ingenious appliances that he will have to encounter, will find
it quite as troublesome to give an impartial and just recommendation.    Decide satisfactorily he cannot of course, for
those whose ends are not answered are not only sure to grum




A HARD CASE.


269


ble, but to charge all sorts of unfairness upon him in conducting the investigation.
The town of M., situated somewhere East of a line drawn
across the map, from New York city to Whitehall, N. Y., but
out of the State of New York, was recently the scene of one
of these hotly contested controversies; and it is proposed to
give an outline of the investigation, as it stands sketched
among the author's official notes, under the head of a " Hard
Case," with, of course, some additional comments and illustrations.
In extent of territory, the town referred to is about six
miles square, and contains three small villages, one comparatively new, having sprung up at the rail road dep6t near the
West line of the town. The second, about two miles to the
Eastward of this; and the third, about two miles still further
to the East.
Village number two, in the order in which they have just
been mentioned, had for many years been the site of the only
post-office in the town, and continued in the uninterrupted
enjoyment of this monopoly until the office became vacant by
the death of the post master. This was the signal for a movement for some time privately contemplated and discussed within a limited circle composed of a few of the knowing ones
residing in villages numbers one and three, which movement
involved nothing less than the establishment of a post-office at
each of those points, and the abolishment of the old established
one at village number two.
A petition to that effect was hastily drawn up and circulated
chiefly among those whose interests in the plan sought, would
be apt to secure secrecy, due care being taken to say quite as
much in favor of the new sites and against the old one, as the
facts in the case would warrant. This petition was dispatched
to Washington in charge of an influential person, whose hot
haste for immediate action was rendered tolerably reasonable
by the fact, that the decease of the post master left the community without any appointed guardian of its postal interests,
23*





270


FORMIDABLE REMONSTRANCE.


A fair case having been made out according to the meagre
information before the Department, and the aforesaid bearer
of dispatches not hesitating to supply verbally what seemed
to be lacking in other forms, with one fell swoop of the pen
of the Post Master General, the glory departed from village
number two to its more fortunate rivals, numbers one and
three; and by the same trifling operation, two very competent
and suitable individuals were promoted from the condition of
private and unassuming citizenship, to the dignity and responsibilities of deputy post masters of the United States of
America!
When the news of this sad calamity reached the staid and
peaceable villagers, who had thus been unexpectedly deprived
of their ancient postal privileges, rest assured it was no favorable time for the organization of a Peace Society! Such oil
would not still these waves! Their late beloved and popular
post master had become a "dead letter," though properly
"Caddressed," as was fondly hoped, by the heavenly "Messengers" who beckoned him away from other duties, to " wrap"
and "box up"-and now even the post-office itself had been
prematurely "taken away" also.
Not many suns had risen and set, however, before the other
side of the picture was prepared and presented at Washington,
and now the ball had fairly opened, with the orchestra in full
blast. A formidable remonstrance had received the signatures
of all the "legal voters," and, as was charged on the other
side, of many whose elective rights were not so easily settled.
The customary accusations of unfairness, improper inguence,
stealing a march, downright misrepresentations, &c., were
called in requisition to show the Department that this "outrage" on the citizens was unwarrantable; and the important
trust of conveying this evidence to the seat of Government,
fell to the lot of a certain gentleman well known among political circles in that section of the country, and supposed to
possess a fair share of influence with the appointing power.
He repaired to Washington, made his first call at the White





PUBLIC OFFICIALS INVOLVED.


271


House, and labored hard to enlist the feelings of the Chief
Executive in the case, but a few words from that distinguished
official were sufficient to show that such interference in a comparatively unimportant matter could not reasonably be expected
of him.
The President did however show his respect for his visitor,
who happened to be an old personal friend, by escorting him
down to the Department, and introducing him to the Post
Master General. The Governor of the State was also in the
case, the two United States Senators, and several of the members of Congress, as the files of the papers, pro and con, clearly
demonstrated. Not that they felt any personal interest in the
result of the controversy, but because their political relations
with many of those who did, were such that they could not
well resist their importunities to come up to their relief.
On patiently listening to the statements of the representative from the seat of war, and re-examining the documentary
evidence, the Post MasAer General declined to reverse his
former decision, but suggested sending one of the Department's Agents to investigate the whole matter. This course
was adopted, and the responsibility thus transferred for the
time being, to the shoulders of the to be author of "Ten
Years."
For many days before he arrived upon the ground, the
excitement both among the vanquished and the vanquishing,
was at the highest pitch; information that such reference of
the case had been made, having been conveyed to both parties
on the return of the distinguished politician from the Capital.
Post master number one, however, could not await the slow
process of that form of justice, so he dispatched a semi-official private note to me, nearly as follows, if my memory serves
me;
Sir:
Will you please inform me if you have been instructed to visit this
place in connection with our post-office controversy. If so, I would
like to be informed of the time of your visit, as I wish to post you up





272


ARRIVAL OF THE AGENT.


as to certain parties here whose true position you ought to understand before their testimony in the case is heard.
Yours truly,
F.B.S
P. S.-If I knew when you are to arrive, I would be at the cars.
To this I simply replied that I could not fix upon the precise day, but would call upon him on my arrival.
One lovely afternoon of a lovely day in October, the " Agent"
might have been seen alighting from the car at the rail road
station at M., fully impressed, of course, with the difficulty of
the task before him, but with a sincere desire to carry out, if
possible, the intention of Government, and to mete out equal
and exact justice to all parties.
A new and flourishing-looking store, the only one by the
way in the neighborhood, with a small sign over the door, with
the words "' Post-Office" inscribed thereon, saved me the necessity of inquiring for post-office site number one. In a few
moments- I found myself in the presence of the merchant and
post master, who proved to be a young man of prepossessing
and business-like appearance.
A few questions on my part served to apprise him of the
official character of the person by whom he was addressed, and
also to cause his momentary neglect of a young customer for
whom he was just then engaged in answering an order for a
gallon of molasses. The little damsel who was there upon the
saccharine errand, regarded me with open-eyed awe, having
probably heard something of the Department in the course of
the all-pervading Post-Office controversies of the last few
months, and cast as many stolen glances at me as her modesty
would allow, thus securing a mental daguerreotype, to be displayed for the benefit of her wondering parents, after her
return home with the double load bf news and molasses.
In his embarrassment at my sudden arrival, the post master
forgot the molasses, and in a moment quite a torrent of the
thick liquid had overflowed its bounds, and formed a pool upon
the floor.





THE MOLASSES INCIDENT.


273


" Post master," said I, '  you have left your molasses running over." In his eagerness to stop the leak, he went plump
into the sweet puddle, with both feet, and any time that day
his tracks might have been seen all over the store.
11 Never mind," said he, " accidents will happen;" at the
same time drawing his feet across some waste paper upon the
floor. The young customer smiled, but during the running
over process, she had said not a word, for by the means she
was getting "C scripture measure." She handed the post master a bank-note in payment, who, still laboring under considerable excitement, made her the wrong change, doing himself
out of at least half the cost of the molasses, which, together
with the loss of the surplusage, made it anything but a profitable business transaction for him.
But the little girl was honest.  She counted and recounted
the change that had been given her, and with that peculiar
expression that in one like her attends the consciousness of
an honest act, she threw it all back upon the counter, remarking, "You have given me too much, sir."
The countenance of the post master gave evidence by this
time of not a little mortification at the occurrence of two such
awkward blunders in the presence of a dignitary all the way
from Washington; and in his hurry to turn my attention from
them, he forgot even to thank the child for her honest conduct, as he returned her the change " revised and corrected."
But I did not.     Wishing not to cast an implied censure
upon sweet-foot, I passed to the piazza of the store, to throw
aside the stump of an Havana, (or a " Suffield," as the case
may have been,) and unobserved by him, handed her a quarter,
which she acknowledged by a blushing smile, and a low courtesy.
Returning, I missed the post master for a moment, and
stepping within sight of the floor behind the counter, I could
distinctly see the molasses tracks going toward a small enclosure at the other end of the counter. It proved to be the
aparlment used for the post-office.   Stepping a little further





274


THE CASE OPENED.


behind the counter, I spied my new and confused acquaintance, arranging the books, letters, and papers, apparently in
great haste. Seeing that I had returned to the store and now
observed him, he advanced towards me a few paces.
" I usually keep things in better order in the post-office,"
said he, "but I was away this forenoon, and my boy has got
things a little mixed up."
"Never mind that now," I replied; "I am in something of
a hurry, and want to enter at once on the business upon which
I came. What is all this fuss that the people of the old
village are making about the new post-office arrangements?
By the row they are kicking up at Washington, the Department are almost led to believe there was something unfair in
the means adopted to effect the change, and that they may
have erred in their decision."
This plain and informal opening of the case seemed to
restore his self-possession.
"Well, they have tried to make a fuss, that's a fact, but
it's more spunk than anything else. You see this is a new
village, and although there are not yet many buildings, business is fast centering here, and it's bound to be the place.
The folks up there have to come to the depot constantly, and
if they only think so, can be just as well accommodated here.
They hate to lose a good place to loaf in, that's all there is to
it. They don't need a post-office no more than a rail road
wants a guide post.
"They will tell you a great deal about their Academy, and
talk big about other things. As to the Academy, it has got
reduced, and most of the pupils who do attend, either belong
to the upper village where they have a post-office now, or have
to pass right by this door in going to school. But few of
them being from abroad, they have but little correspondence
any way. Then you will hear tall speechifying about a
flourishing hat factory which perhaps did something once, but
can hardly be said to be in operation now. I hear they claim
to have three extensive stores in the village. Now if you will





THE SHOE FACTORY.


275


look for yourself, you will see two small affairs that don't both
together sell half the goods that I do, and as to the third, it
was closed some time ago, and if the owner went away in broad
daylight, then common report does him great injustice."
After a few remarks in the same vein, in the course of which
he waxed quite eloquent, he closed by offering to take me in
his wagon and show me the other two villages. He had been
standing quite still during the delivery of this speech, and
considerable effort was required to raise his feet to go in the
direction of his hat, the adhesive qualities of the syrup still
holding out.
I thanked him for the offer, but said I must decline it, as I
desired to avoid all cause of jealousy in my mode of investigation, and further remarked, that I would prefer to take a
general view of all the localities, without the aid or explanations of any of the parties interested; and that after this had
been done, I would give all hands a fair and impartial hearing.
" Very well," said he, "all we ask is fair play, but you will
have to make a good deal of allowance for the extravagant
statements of the leaders in the old village. I can prove that
they have got democrats to sign to have the office restored,
who are on our paper, and who say they were deceived when
they signed theirs."
Having heard about enough of this, I had gradually moved,
along to the store door, when my eye rested upon a large
wooden building near by, several stories high, and with an
unusual number of windows, about the only building of any
size in the vicinity.
"What is that?" I asked, at the same time pointing to it.
'That?-that is a shoe manufactory."
"How many hands are employed there?" I inquired.
Just then, a fine-looking, elderly gentleman, with an air
which denoted that he had a right to do pretty much as he
pleased, stepped upon the piazza, and was introduced to me
by the post master as his father-in-law, not omitting of course





276


KEEN OPERATION.


to inform his respected relative that I was no less a personage
than the identical gentleman expected from Washington.
"Ah," said he, "I am glad the Department has seen fit to
send so competent a person to look into this business, and I
hope, sir, it will be thoroughly done."
This was said in a gentlemanly, dignified manner, and he
passed into the store without any further conversation. But
the term "competent person," as applied to me, warned me
that I should probably find it necessary to guard against "soft
sodder" also, as one of the means of persuasion, and made me
half suspicious that he might not be the impartial and disinterested individual that he appeared at first sight.
The suspicion was just, for I afterwards learned that he was
a wealthy and enterprising whig citizen, owning a beautiful
mansion and a good deal of other property in village number
three, (one of the new sites,) and that he was the proprietor
of a good share of the real estate at the dep6t village; and
further, that he had been mainly instrumental in getting the
changes effected. His personal interests in them footed up as
follows: A post-office established at the village of his residence, and a post-office at the dep6t village, (where the store
in which it was kept belonged to him,) and his son-in-law appointed post master!     A  shrewd Yankee operation that,
though I could discover the adoption of no dishonorable
means in securing these advantages. It was decidedly smart,
though, and it isn't every body who could have successfully
executed such a programme, after it had been arranged.
This interruption of the conversation between the post master
and myself, came in just in time to stave off an answer to my
question about the large building in view, and my friend no
doubt considered that an effectual stop was put to further inquiries on that subject. But not so. Failing to discover any
signs of thrift or vitality in or about the huge edifice referred
to, I now repeated the inquiry.
I was asking how many persons are employed in that shoe
factory?"





THE SAW MILL.


277


Before I had fairly finished the sentence, however, he had
darted into the store and returned with two Havanas, (?) saying, "Come, have a smoke, and let's walk over and take a
look at the saw mill," which by the way happened to be in an
opposite direction from the aforesaid shoe establishment.
I consented, however. The mill was in operation, and the
stream, such as it was, kept up a pretty respectable roar,
though you could hear yourself converse, I noticed, quite as
easily as by the side of old Niagara just after a smart shower!
Feeling somewhat humorously inclined, owing to his persevering evasion of my researches as to the boot and shoe
enterprise, I remarked as we stood observing the perpendicular thrusts of the saw through a submissive-looking log, "' This
is the boarding house spoken of in your post-office petitions,
isn't it?"
He did not "take," however, but gravely replied that they
had turned out stacks of boards since the mill was started,
and that they had thought of keeping it running nights as
well as days.
As I could conceive of no very direct connection between a
saw mill and a post-office, and not caring to have too much
saw dust thrown in my eyes, nor to countenance any log-rolling
operation, I moved off toward the store again. But not a word
was volunteered about the 1" factory," so I marched straight
over to it, and trying one of the main doors, found it all fast
as I had suspected. I was about to repeat the attempt at
another part of the building, but the post master had now
arrived on the ground, and his reluctant explanation saved me
further trouble on that head at least.
" Owing to the hard times, it is not occupied now, but until
lately it has employed some thirty or forty hands. They'll
get agoing again soon, and intend to employ some eighty workmen. The suspension is only temporary."
" Worse off than the hat factory of which you spoke, at
the other village," I observed. He made no reply.
Finding I could obtain no independent conveyance by which
24





278


AN INTERESTED GUIDE.


to make the tour of observation through the other parts of the
town, I accepted the offer of a young man who drove up to
the store very opportunely, to whom the idea was suggested
by the post master, and who, it was hinted, was in no way
identified with this vexatious dispute.
During the first mile or so of our ride his neutrality seemed
well sustained, but it began rapidly to disappear as we came
in sight of the village which had been bereft of its post-office
as well as its post master, his answers to my questions betraying a decided bias toward the "c let well enough alone" policy
as applicable in this case.
I did not propose to stop there at this time, but to pass
through to the upper village,-but my suspicions that I had
after all committed myself to the temporary keeping of one of
the friends of the new sites, were fully confirmed when I found
him taking a narrow by-way through the old settlement, poorly
calculated to show off the place to much advantage.
" Look here," said I, "don't go through this hollow, but
take a turn round by those spires, and let me see what they
have got to brag about."
Coming to a halt, and backing round in a somewhat spiteful
manner, during which manoeuvre we came near upsetting, he
soon came upon the route indicated.
Whether from a conviction that there was no use in trying
to cheat me any longer, or from the study requisite for the
invention of some new system of tactics likely to be more
successful, he said but little more during the rest of our ride.
I subsequently ascertained that he and the scheme of getting
two post-offices for one, rejoiced in one and the same paternity,
or in other words, that his mother was the wife of the enterprising and wealthy gentleman before mentioned, and like a
good and dutiful son, he " went in" for whatever favored the
" old man's" interest.
Passing through one of the main streets of the middle or
post-officeless village, I observed standing in front of a respectable, ancient-appearing mansion, a solemn-looking hearse,





VIEWING THE SITES.


279


and a large number of other vehicles, indicating that funeral
services were being performed within, and through the open
windows and doors I could see the friends and mourners.
" A funeral, I perceive," said I to my companion.
A sullenly emphasized " yes," was all the notice vouchsafed
to my remark.
" A fine-looking lot of horses collected here," I continued.
t Yes, pretty fair," he rejoined, without, however, withdrawing his attention from a large fly which was annoying
our animal, and at the same time proving himself anything
but an expert marksman by his repeated unsuccessful attempts
to annihilate the insect with the lash of his whip.
" This accounts for my seeing so few persons in the streets,"
I remarked. "They must be attending the funeral."
"I suppose so," he answered, at the same instant striking
the unlucky fly dead, which neither he nor bob-tail had before
succeeded in choking off.
A quarter of an hour more found us at village number three,
pleasantly situated upon 'elevated ground, and consisting of an
old-fashioned country church, the fine establishment of the
wealthy pioneer in this post-office enterprise, already referred
to, a store, and a few other buildings.
The solitary merchant here was also the newly-appointed
post master, a very worthy man from all appearances, though
of course deeply impressed with the idea that the " balance of
power" should not be disturbed by a discontinuance of the
recently established office, and the restoration of the old one
on its former site. And it appeared very clear that he had
done all in his power to make the inconvenience of the late
change fall as lightly as possible upon those more directly
interested, for he had arranged to extend every accommodation
in his power, and among other things to post a list of all the
letters for distant sections of the town, upon the "meetinghouse" door every Sabbath, and to keep his office open
"between meetings," for the delivery of all mail matter which
should be called for.





280


A FUNERAL PROCESSION.


His brief history, as related by himself, brought to light
the fact that he had served the Government as post master
many years before, having originally been appointed, as he said,
by "old Hickory" himself.
During half an hour's conversation, the information furnished at this point was generally of a candid and impartial
character, though the explanations regarding a defunct bank,
the remains of which stood within a stone's throw of the postoffice, proved the most troublesome subject that was talked
over. The expiration of its charter, if I mistake not, was
given as the reason for its closed doors.
The measured tolling of the church bell attracted my attention. The funeral procession from the other village had
reached the hill and was just entering the burial-ground,
through the church-yard, and after a short interval passed out
again on its return.
Having now obtained all the information I could in that
quarter, I suggested to my escort that I was ready to move,
and we were soon on our way back. About half way to the
middle village, we came up with the procession, and followed
along at a slow pace, in fact forming a part of the solemn cortege.
It had somehow leaked out that the "Post-Office Agent"
was there, and along the whole line, hats and even bonnets
could be seen projecting from the sides of such of the carriages
as were provided with coverings. Compared with the postoffice question, the grave was nowhere, and funerals were at a
discount. Some of the most interested happened to be in the
nearest vehicles to us, and when they discovered who my companion was, a number of the animals were suddenly relieved
of a good share of their burthen. Several of the deserters fell
in the rear, and without waiting for a formal introduction,
began to discourse eloquently upon the subject of their post
office grievances. I assured them that I would spend the
night at the hotel in their village, where I would be happy to





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IMPORTANT MEETING.


281S


meet them and their friends, for the purpose of inquiry and
investigation.
Many a head of a family, I think, was missed that evening
from the tea tables, for although it was about the usual hour of
that repast when I reached the hotel, the citizens came flocking in in great numbers, and filling the spacious audience
room which the landlord had hastily prepared on hearing of
my approach, to its utmost capacity, and even before I was
fairly seated.
Most of them being still in the same dress in which they
had attended the funeral ceremonies, the " customary suit of
solemn black," they were about as well-looking a set of men as
you will often see in country or city. A more excited and
anxious group of faces, I am sure was never seen in a council
of war on the eve of a great and decisive battle. Nor will I
attempt to assert that I was wholly free from anxiety as to how
I should acquit myself befbre this august assembly, as the
representative and embodiment of the Government, on this
trying occasion.
The scene, however, considered in reference to the real importance of the interests at stake, was richly ludicrous. I
felt that the dignity of the Post-Office Department was for a
time committed to my keeping, and I flatter myself that I succeeded admirably in sustaining it, though it required occasionally not a little effort.
One of the gentlemen whose acquaintance I had informally
made in the rear of the funeral procession, did the honors in
the way of introducing me to each of those who had assembled,
and to such as came in in the course of that ever-to-be remembered evening-I should have said night, for it was not
far from daylight, when I had listened to the last eloquent
appeal in behalf of restoring to them their lost rights and privileges.
The whole thing was conducted in a way which, for parliamentary order and decorum, would have put to the blush the
lower House of Congress near the close of the session; and I
24 *





282


RESTORATION HALL.


am not quite sure that the upper branch of that Honorable
body, with an exciting subject in hand, could not have derived
some useful hints from the manner in which business was
there enacted.
The room, which I understand was soon after christened
and is now known as "Restoration Hall," was about twentyfive feet by thirty, and for most of the time during this eventful meeting, I chanced to occupy the only rocking chair therein, at one side of the room facing the door. Considering that
most of the company were my seniors by several years, that
was hardly polite; but after several times insisting in vain that
some one else should take the post of honor, I settled down
without further misgivings.
Never did I so heartily regret my ignorance of the art of
stenography as now; for a verbatim report of all that was here
said, would prove the richest and most amusing part of this
narrative.
After some general and desultory conversation, and considerable manoeuvring as to who should lead off, the responsible task fell upon a somewhat venerable and prominent
citizen, who, as I perceived from his "opening," had enjoyed
the honor of representing the town in the lower House, as
well as the Senate of the State. This gentlemen's indignation was so intense at the "shabby treatment" of the Government, that at first he seemed to question the propriety of
condescending to enter into any argument or formal statement
in support of a speedy restoration of the post-office.
SI feel myself mortified and humbled," said he, "that anything more should be required in this case in securing us
justice, than a mere glance at this assemblage, which, leaving
out the speaker, cannot be surpassed in respectability and
intelligence, by any which could be so readily convened in any
community."
(A general sensation, and a modest assent all round, so far
as looks could indicate it.)
"You have before you, sir," continued he, "professional





A SLIGHT FIREBRAND.


283


men-men who have devoted all their lives to the training and
education of youth,-farmers, mechanics, and merchants,-all
of them, sir, men who know their rights, and knowing dare
maintain them, sir. Many of them, and I for one, sir, differ
with the Administration in politics; but I take it, sir, that
has nothing to do with the settlement of this business. Our
Government will have arrived at a pretty pass, indeed, when
it makes a distinction between a whig or locofoco community,
in the granting of mail facilities."
The term " locofoco" proved for a moment a slight firebrand in the camp-a six foot, plain farmer-looking individual, who had not I think attended the funeral, and who, like
the brave Putnam, had left his plough in the furrow, on
hearing of a chance to fight-starting to his feet and interrupting the speaker," Your Honor," said he,  I hope my whig friend, if he
must speak of politics, will consent to call democrats by their
right names. What would he say if I should apply the term
Sfederalists' to his side of the house?"
The first speaker was evidently preparing for a broadside
in return for this interruption, but it was averted at once by
the assurance volunteered on my part, that the question of
politics would have nothing to do with this one; and that no
harm was probably intended by the use of the objectionable
designation; whereupon our agricultural friend quietly resumed
his seat, his blood seemingly several degrees cooler than when
he left it.
" You're right, sir, no harm was intended," good-naturedly
responded the pioneer orator.   "It came so natural to say
locofoco, that I hardly noticed it myself. We all have one
common object here, and the fact that neighbour B. is the
only loco-I beg pardon-democrat, who happens to be present, should have suggested to me greater allowance for his
sensitive feelings."
There was a general laugh at the expense of our lone





284


A STRONG STATEMENT.


representative of the democracy, and the discussion resumed
its more legitimate channel.
At a later period, a careful canvassing would have shown
quite a respectable sprinkling of the political friends of the
gentleman who took exceptions as above stated; and I have
always mistrusted that he managed in some way to procure
their special attendance, being evidently a little chagrined at
the accidental exposure of the very meagre representation of
his party at the commencement.
The gentleman having the floor proceeded:I am satisfied the Post Master General would never have
decided as he has, if he had waited for further information.
And the indecent haste with which certain men acted in this
matter, is a downright shame and disgrace. I doubt not, from
what I can learn, that they had their petitions secretly circulating, as soon as the sickness of our late post master became
known. Would to God he had lived to defeat their selfish
and illiberal schemes! But an overruling Providence ordered
it otherwise, doubtless for the accomplishment of some wise
purpose!
"We are prepared to show you, sir, by the figures, (though
we have seen that, in the hands of unprincipled men, figures
will sometimes lie,) that three-fourths of the mail matter for
the town belongs to persons of this village, who, by this wicked
movement, are obliged to send a distance of two miles for their
letters and papers."
Here was a strong statement, exhibiting a greater difference
in the business and correspondence of the three villages than
even the papers on the official files of the Department had
claimed. I was therefore disposed to call for the proof, if it
could be had, before proceeding further.
"Is there any way of getting at what you have just stated
as a fact?" I inquired.
They were not to be caught napping, for the " Committee
on Statistics" was on the spot, to meet any such exigencies
that might arise.





STATISTICS CONMMITTEE.


285


A slight nod of the gentleman's head toward the corner of
the room was promptly responded to by one of the company,
whom I had observed listening more intently, if possible, than
the rest, to the opening address.
He might be described as a gentleman about forty years of
age, with sharp features, and withal as active and keen-looking
a body as you will often come across. With a smile, and an
air of self-reliance, he drew from his hat a bundle of papers
of different shapes, from an inch wide to a full sheet of large
size " cap," and, coming to the table, placed them upon it.
A moment's search, during which not a word was spoken, produced the desired voucher, which was to confirm the truth of
the three-fourths assertion. It proved to be a certificate signed
by the assistant of the late post master, setting forth that, in
his opinion, only about one-quarter of all the letters arriving
at that office, during the last three months of its existence,
went outside of a circle of one mile.
The ex-assistant himself, being present, was appealed to,
but although he was willing, in general terms, to re-affirm
what he had put upon paper, yet he failed to furnish any very
satisfactory data upon which the calculation had been made.
It was so much at variance with the allegations contained in
the petitions for the new sites, that the impression could not
be resisted that there had been truth-stretching somewhere.
" Should the office be re-established here," said I to the
ex-assistant, "can the Department rely on the benefit of your
experience in its future management, as post master?"
My object of course was to fathom, if possible, the depth
of any personal interest he might have had in making the
certificate referred to.
"Well, sir, as to that," he answered, his face a little flushed,
' I hardly think I could attend to it; and besides, I may go
to the West in the Spring, if not before."
My unexpected inquiry as to a suitable candidate for the
office, produced a marked sensation. I observed that it had





286


ON BOTH SIDES.


especially disconcerted the "Committee on Statistics;" why
it did so the reader will learn in due time.
Apologizing to the gentleman whose speech had thus been
interrupted, he resumed, but in a few moments came to an
abrupt close on the arrival of two young gentlemen, both residing near village number three, and therefore, except to a
few, supposed to have come as spies and reporters. A short
consultation, in which I took no part, showed that they were,
as I inferred, all right on the main question, notwithstanding
their location. They were brothers.
If the actors in this scene had been engaged in a play upon
the stage, these two new characters could not have been introduced in a more artistic or timely manner. What they had
to offer was prefaced by a few words from the gentleman who
had just terminated his formal discourse, informing me that
they had magnanimously volunteered to come here and throw
their mite into the scale, on the side of truth and right, and
that private interest, even, could not blind them to the great
injustice that had been perpetrated.
Their own testimony was very brief, and so was their stay,
for, believing I had seen their names on one of the petitions
asking for just what had been done, I unlocked my carpetbag, and on referring to one of the original papers which for
the time being had been placed in my hands, I there found
both their signatures, quite conspicuous among the petitioners!
And I felt bound to give others a sight of them, too, if for
no other reason, to impart to the " injured" members of that
community a slight knowledge of some of the difficulties which
the Post Master General and his Assistant often have to encounter in these and similar cases. It was all news to those
present excepting to the two "magnanimous" gentlemen interested. They had doubtless supposed that the evidence of
their double-dealing was very quietly sleeping in one of the
snug and obscure pigeon-holes of the Appointment Office.
On coming into the room again, after a quarter of an hour's





THE ACADEMY.


287


absence at the supper table, I missed these two generous volunteers, and understood they left very soon after I withdrew.
Their inconsistent course was afterwards explained to me in
this wise: After they had signed for the change, and the papers had gone to Washington, it came out that the three
Select-men of the town had united in a letter to the Depart.
ment, on the same side of the question, all three of them
happening to live nearer the new sites than the old one; and
the brothers having become involved in a somewhat bitter
quarrel with one of those officials, had determined to get on
the opposite side, in the post-office struggle, and defeat their
wishes if possible.
Among the speakers was the Principal of the Academy
before alluded to; a very intelligent gentleman, and one of
dignified appearance. His observations related mainly to the
inconveniences resulting to the members of that institution
from the want of a post-office. After he had concluded his
remarks, I inquired,
"What is the present number of your pupils?"
Upon this, some one suggested obtaining a printed catalogue, and the "Committee on Statistics" forthwith disappeared in search of the required pamphlet. The zeal and
efficiency of this gentleman may have had no connection with
his desire to fill the office of post master, should the office be
re-established. The reader will judge of this when he learns
who was finally selected for that position.
After a few moments' absence, he returned with a copy of
the catalogue.
Observing that it was for a previous term, I asked whether
there were as many pupils now as at that time.
" The school is not quite as large at present," said the Principal; " but we expect even a larger number of pupils at the
beginning of the next term."
The hint furnished me (as the reader will remember) by my
official friend of molasses memory, in respect to the residences
of the pupils, happening to occur to my mind, I ran my eye





288


FALL OF AN ORATOR.


over the column containing that information, and found that,
with few exceptions, they belonged in town.     Consequently,
unless they carried on a more extensive correspondence than
is usual for such youth, the argument maintained by the Principal would lose much of its force. I made no allusion, however, to this discovery, and he soon closed his remarks, expressing the hope that the loud complaints of the distant (?) parents
and guardians of the young ladies and gentlemen under his
charge would soon be effectually hushed by the restoration of
their former excellent mail facilities!
A few of those wise words, which, as Solomon assures us,
are "as nails fastened by the masters of assemblies," were
driven, in conclusion, by farmer G., who, as a person sitting
near me whispered, was a Justice of the Peace. His remarks
were characterized by much good sense, but an untoward circumstance occurred as he concluded, which interfered with
the gravity of the proceedings as well as with his own centre
of gravity. As the closing passage of his peroration fell from
his lips, he also fell at the same instant!
There was a scarcity of seats upon the present occasion, and
our oratorical friend had no sooner risen for the purpose of
"pouring the persuasive strain," than his chair was appropriated by a fatigued neighbor, who "squatted" on the vacant
territory, regardless of 1 pre-emption" or pre-session.
Unconscious of this furtive proceeding, Mr. G. went on with
his remarks, and closed with the following sentence:"In conclusion, sir, I should like to know whether the
people of this village are to be put down in this way?"-at
the same time attempting to resume the seat he had vacated,
in the full belief that it was still where he had left it. As
facts did not bear him out in this opinion, he was obliged to
yield to the force of circumstances, and had gained such a
backward impetus before he discovered the treachery of his
friend, that he descended to the floor with as much emphasis
as two hundred pounds of bone and muscle are capable of
producing under similar circumstances!





THE ADJOURNMENT.


289


The illustration of his remarks was perfect. THe thought
that the inhabitants of the village were to be "put down" in
an underhanded manner. Whether they were to rise again
as rapidly as did he, remains to be seen.
" That strain again; it had a dying fall,"
thought I after the orator descended so suddenly from his
rhetorical and personal elevation.
Business was for the moment swallowed up in a roar of
laughter, to which the ex-Senator, the dignified Principal,
the energetic dealer in Statistics, and the Agent, contributed;
and even the fallen speaker, whose title to the floor no one was
inclined to dispute, joined in the chorus.
The person who had caused this catastrophe, apologized to
Mr. G. by remarkihg, " You got through quicker than I'd
any idee of."
"Or I either," dryly returned Mr. G., brushing the dust
from his inexpressibles.
This occurrence seemed the signal for adjournment, and all
retired in good spirits, thanks to the gentleman who had thus,
in spite of himself, been made the instrument of producing
such a pleasant state of feeling.
A sort of informal levee was held on the following morning,
when all the forcible things bearing on the subject in hand
were said which had been forgotten at the meeting of the
night previous, or were the result of after cogitations.
As the time drew near for leaving, I called upon the landlord for my bill.
" Oh, that's all settled," said he.
" Settled? by whom, pray?"    I asked.
" Why, they told me not to take anything from you, as they
would make it all right," he replied.
I called the attention of the landlord to the impropriety of
such a course under the circumstances, since in the event of
the restoration of the office to that village, it might be said,
25





290        THE " COMMITTEE" AND THE " SPY."
"Oh, it's easy enough to see how that happened. They knew
what they were about when they paid the Agents' hotel bill."
For such reasons I declined the courtesy, and insisted on
paying the bill myself. The landlord finally yielded, remarking,
"they won't like it when they find out that their directions
were not followed."
Soon after, the stage arrived at the door of the hotel from
a neighboring town, on its way to the rail road depot, and this
was to be my conveyance to that place. I took leave of such
of the gentlemen as were standing about the piazza, and
mounted to the seat upon the top of the stage, behind and
above the driver's station. To this elevated position I was
unexpectedly followed by the " Committee on Statistics," and
another person whom I had not seen before. This move on
the part of the former gentleman was probably made not only
to secure my ear during the passage to the depot, but to prevent the post master there from gaining any advantage over
him in the time which would elapse between the arrival of the
stage and the departure of the cars.
Being placed, like men in general, between the known and
unknown,-the "Committee" on one side, and the stranger
on the other, my attention, soon after we had started, was
attracted to the former individual by sundry punches in the
ribs, proceeding from his elbow, accompanied with ominous
winks and glances towards my other companion, who was just
then conversing with the driver.
"Look out what you say," whispered the vigilant Committee, "that fellow is a spy; he is one of the Depot boys."
"All right," I replied, in all sincerity, for I was not sorry
to find that my friend would be prevented by the presence of
the "spy" from executing the design which he undoubtedly
had, of catechizing me in reference to the report I should
make to the Department.
Arriving at the station, I crossed over to the post-office.
and there remained until the whistle of the locomotive was
heard.





GETTING THIE LAST WORD.


291


" Well, good bye, Mr. W-," said I to the post master,
offering my hand.
" I think," said he, " that I will ride a little way with you,
as far at least as the next station."
He accompanied me across to the depot, and as we stepped
upon the platform of a car, we were followed by the " Committee" and one of his most interested friends, who had come
over in the stage with us, an inside passenger.
These gentlemen were evidently bent on thwarting the plans
of my saccharine associate, but he had in an important particular greatly the advantage over them, for, by virtue of his
office, he was allowed the privilege of riding in the mail car,
to which we at once proceeded, leaving our disappointed
friends in the outer world, among the undistinguished crowd
whom the conductor indiscriminately calls upon for "your
money or your ticket."
My companion and his opponents alighted at the next station, to wait for the return train, and as the cars moved on, I
observed that they were conversing together, the countenance
of the former displaying a radiant appearance of satisfaction
which plainly showed his triumphant state of mind.
I have no means of knowing what passed between them on
their return, but it is altogether probable that the ' Committee"
and his friend employed the time in " pumping" or attempting
to pump their associate, unless he took refuge in the mail car.
The investigation resulted in restoring the post-office to the
center village, and in discontinuing the two others.
The reader will be pleased to learn that the " Committee on
Statistics" received the appointment of post master.





CHAPTER XX.


HARROWFORK POST-OFFICE.
A gloomy Picture-Beautiful Village-Litigation in Harrowfork-A
model Post Master-The Excitement-Petitioning the DepartmentConflicting Statements-The decisive Blow-The new Post Master
-The " Reliable Man"-Indignant Community-Refusal to serveAn Editor's Candidate-The Temperance Question-Newspaper Extracts-A Mongrel Quotation-A Lull-A "Spy in Washington"Bad Water-New Congressmen-The Question revived--Delegate
to Washington-Obliging Down Easter-The lost Letters-Visit to
the Department-Astounding Discovery-Amusing Scene-A Congressmen in a "Fix"-The Difficulty "arranged."
THERE is no blessing bestowed upon us by a kind Providence, which man's selfishness may not pervert into a grievance.
We have seen this principle illustrated in the use and abuse
of post-offices, as often as in any other civil institution.
How society in the nineteenth century could exist without
mail routes and the regular delivery of letters, it is impossible
to conceive.
Imagine a town without a post office! a community without
letters! " friends, Romans, countrymen, and lovers," particularly the lovers, cut off from correspondence, bereft of newspapers, buried alive from the light of intelligence, and the
busy stir of the great world! What an appalling picture!
We have always thought that Robinson Crusoe and his man
Friday might have enjoyed a very comfortable existence, had
Juan Fernandez been blessed with a post-office. But think
(292)





A GLOOMY PICTURE.


293


of a society of Crusoes and Fridays! nobody receiving letters,
nobody writing letters-no watching the mails, no epistolary
surprises and enjoyments, which form so large an element in
our social life to-day I
But gloomy as the picture appears, we have many times
thought that some very respectable and enlightened villages
would be decidedly benefited, were the post office stricken from
the catalogue of their institutions. This is a bone of contention, which often sets the whole neighborhood by the ears
and communities, which might otherwise enjoy the reputation
of being regular circles of "brotherly love," break out into
quarrels, contentions, slanders, litigations, and all sorts of unchristian disturbances.
The case of the town of Harrowfork, which I find recorded
in my note-book, will most capitally illustrate the point under
consideration.  Harrowfork, by the way, is not the real name
of the town, but a fictitious one, which we use for our convenience, to avoid personalities.  It is located on the Eastern
slope of an eminence, which overlooks one of the fairest of
valleys on one of the most beautiful New England streams.
The town was once a favorite place of resort with the writer,
during the Summer season; and, although this was years ago,
the pretty village is still fresh in his memory, with its green
hills, its handsome residences embowered in the foliage of trees
and vines-its rival churches, with their emulous spires pointing toward heaven; its shady roads, and magnificent prospects,
looking far off upon the wide-spread valley, dotted with farmhouses, and beautified by the sinuous, glittering waters of the
stream.
Its sunrises were particularly fine, and it has always seemed
to me that the poet must have had them in his mind, when he
penned the sonnet commencing
"Full many a glorious morning I have seen
Flatter the mountain tops with sovereign eye,
Kissing with golden face the meadows green,
Gilding pale streams with heavenly alchemy!"
25*





294


LAWYERS LOOKING UP.


It appears to us a strange dispensation of Providence, that
such a perfect nest of loveliness should be invaded by inharmonious cat birds, and mischief-making wrens. But dissensions did creep in through the post-office.   Up to a certain
time, such universal peace prevailed among the inhabitants,
that its two lawyers would have been beggared, had they not
wisely resorted to farming, as a more reliable occupation than
the occasional and precarious one of conducting some tame and
straight-forward case, for a petty fee. But now the lawyers
have enough to do, without turning aside from their regular
profession; litigation is brisk and spirited in Harrowfork, and
intricate and aggravated cases are numerous.        Neighbors
quarrel, church members sue each other, deacons go to law,
the lawyers build fine houses, their families grow extravagant
in dress-all owing to the post-office.
As long as old Uncle Crocker was post master, there was no
difficulty.  He seemed just the man for the business.      He
was looked upon as a part of the institution. Nobody thought
of turning him out, more than they would have thought of
petitioning for the removal of Harrowfork Hill.
But Uncle Crocker was not a permanent institution, notwithstanding the people's faith. One of his daughters married,
and settled in the West. Excited by the report she made of
the country, two of his sons followed her, and in the course
of time, Uncle Crocker himself "pulled up stakes," retired
from the post-office with honors, and migrated to the new
territory.
As soon as the old gentleman's intention was made public,
there was a slight flutter of interest in the community, in relation to the subject of a successor in his office. At first, if the
name of a new candidate was hinted at, it was offered like
Snagsby's expression of opinion in the presence of his wifeonly as a " mild suggestion." But there was a good deal of
partisan feeling latent in Harrowfork, and this was just the
thing to develope it; and gently as the breeze had arisen, it





A DEACON IN LUCK.


295


freshened and increased, until it blew a perfect hurricane, that
not only disturbed the whole county, but became troublesome
even as far off as Washington.
At an early period of the excitement, the friends of an
enterprising tradesman in the place had gone quietly to work,
and procured his appointment to the office. It was quite a
surprise to many of his fellow-townsmen, and no small sensation was produced when DEACON UPTON was announced as
the new post master. Many were dissatisfied, of course, and
although the deacon had always been known as a quiet, inoffensive man, he suddenly became the subject of derogatory
remarks. The personal friends who had been instrumental in
securing the appointment, formed a spirited minority in his
favor, while all who had not been consulted in the premises,
naturally felt bound to range themselves on the side of his
critics and opponents.
To make matters worse, a Presidential campaign followed
Mr. Upton's inauguration, and politics ".ran high."     The
post-office became the great centre and source of excitement.
People met, on the arrival of the mails, and glanced over the
editorial columns of their newspapers, and talked over their
grievances. At length the great crisis came. A change of
Administration was effected. And as the health or sickness
of the nation appeared now to depend entirely upon the postoffice incumbent at Harrowfork, this subject received prompt
attention from all parties.
All sorts of communications, full of absurd complaints, contradictory statements, imperative commands, and angry denunciations, were now poured in upon the Post-Office Department
at Washington. To show what human nature is at such
times, and also to designate how perfectly clear and beautifully pleasant the duty of the appointing power becomes, in
the progress of the snarl, we will give a few specimens of these
conflicting missives.
Here is one version of the story:




296


A STRONG PETITION.


To His Honor, the Post Master General, at Washington.
Sir:
Your Honor's humble petitioners, legal voters in the town of Harrowfork, respectfully submit the following undeniable facts for your
consideration.
First, the person who now holds the office of post master in our
place, is totally unfit for the business. He was got in by a clique of
interested individuals, who used underhanded measures for the purpose, and succeeded in their object only by blinding the eyes of the
Department to the real character of the man, and the wishes of the
people. Not one man in fifty is in favor of the present incumbent;
and those who are, turn out generally to be persons who seldom write
or receive letters, and have little or no business in connexion with the
post-office.
Second, the office is left during a great portion of the time in the
charge of the post master's father-in-law, a worthy old gentleman,
but whose sight has somewhat failed him; so that when persons call
for letters or papers, he has first to hunt up his spectacles, which he
has been known to be near five minutes in finding; then he has to go
over with the letters, &c., very slowly, to avoid making mistakes,
very often taking them out of the wrong box at that, and after all,
giving the wrong letters to people, or giving them none at all, when
the fact is, letters for them have perhaps been lying untouched in the
office for weeks. Such cases are nothing uncommon.
Third, valuable letters have been lost through carelessness on the
part of persons in the office, or from less excusable causes, of which
we leave your Honor to judge. Letters containing money are particularly liable to miscarry.
Fourth, it is a fact which merits your Honor's special consideration, that, in consequence of the dissolute habits of the post master's
nephew, who attends in the office evenings, a not very respectable
gang of young men are encouraged to hang about the doors till late
at night, making it very unpleasant for the more sober citizens to go
there for their mails.
Fifth, the present post master is a deacon of the church, and very
sectarian in his views. There may be no direct connection between
this circumstance, and the fact that the religious newspapers of
different sects from his own, are apt to be lost or destroyed in the
mails, while the "Helmet of Truth," a paper to which he is commissioned to obtain subscribers, is always punctually delivered! Your
IIonor's petitioners state this only as a remarkable coincidence, which
may however have some bearing upon the case,





THE REMONSTRANCE.


297


In view of these stubborn and undeniable facts, we the undersigned, legal voters in the town of Harrowfork, humbly petition your
Honor, that the present post master be removed, and a more suitable
person appointed in his place.
We also beg leave to suggest to your Honor's consideration, the
name of Josiah Barnaby, as a fit and reliable candidate for the office,
and a person who would be sure to give more general satisfaction to
the community than any other available man.
Trusting that the foregoing statements will receive your Honor's
early attention, and such official action as the merits of the case demand, we remain
Your Honor's respectful petitioners.
Signed by  Aminadab Fogle,
Signed and thirteen others.
This was certainly a strong case, and it would seem perfectly clear that "his Honor" should straightway remove Upton and appoint Barnaby to fill his place.
But close upon the heels of the above petition, followed another of a very different character.   The framers of the last
also maintained that a change should be made, and adduced
strong charges against Upton; but it appeared after all, that
Barnaby was not the most reliable man.," Such an appointment," said the new document, "would give
greater dissatisfaction, if possible, than the old one has done.
The said Barnaby is an infidel, who made himself very obnoxious to
all right-minded citizens by his avowed disbelief in the Scriptures,
and his contempt of the Sabbath, and the ordinances of religion.
Your Honor's humble petitioners, therefore, submit that it would be
an outrage upon the feelings of a Christian community to have such
a person appointed to so important and responsible an office.
Furthermore, the undersigned take it upon themselves to affirm
that it is not the wish of over four persons in our district that the
said Barnaby should receive the commission. We understand the petition in his favor was drawn up by one Aminadab Fogle, whose name
heads the list. Now it happens that the said Fogle is a brother-inlaw of the said Barnaby, while at least three others in his (Barnaby's)
favor are likewise connections of the family, and persons, like him,
entirely destitute of religious principles. With regard to other persons who signed the petition, the most of them privately acknow




298


A NEW CANDIDATE.


ledge that they did so, because they were urged, and could not refuse, without offending their neighbors.
Under these circumstances, the undersigned respectfully represent
that they express the general feeling of the community, when they
nominate Mr. Homer S. Clark as an eligible candidate for the office in
question."
Then follows an eulogy on Mr. Homer S. Clark; the whole
winding up with a grand rhetorical flourish, to the tail of
which are attached some twenty-three names, representing the
active " better class" of society in Harrowfork.
So it appeared that Clark was the right man; and undoubtedly the Department would have proceeded at once to
invest him with the disputed honors; but before any action
could be had in the matter, a candid representation from another party, strengthened by affidavits, served to cast " ominous conjecture" on the whole affair. This was a petition
from the Upton party, wherein it was maintained, that of
the two aspirants for office, Barnaby was the better man of
the two, Clark having made himself very unpopular, by failing for a large amount some years before, going through chancery, and afterwards living in a style of elegance unbecoming
a man who had dismissed his creditors with ten cents on a
dollar.
It was also shown that the prime mover in favor of Clark
was a cousin of his, and the same person who was supposed to
have held a large portion of bankrupt property in trust for the
said Clark at the time of his failure! Still Barnaby was no
more fit for the office, than the petitioners in favor of Clark
had represented. There were fifty in Harrowfork eminently
qualified to fulfil the duties of post master, and who would
give infinitely better satisfaction than either of the new candidates; but of them all, there was no one, who, in the opinion of the petitioners, was better calculated for the office than
the present incumbent. It was only a few dissatisfied, mischief-making people, who pretended to consider a change at
all desirable. Upton had now been in a year; had shown





"' NO ADMITTANCE."


299


himself obliging and faithful; and although a few unimportant mistakes, unavoidable under the circumstances, had
escaped his eye in the early part of his career, he was now experienced, and no such errors would be likely to occur in future.
The attention of the Department was then called to the
fact that the names of John Harmon, Solomon Corwin, Amos
Fink, and several others, probably would be found on both the
Clark and Barnaby petitions! This inconsistency was easily
accounted for. In the first place, John Harmon had always
been accustomed, when Crocker was post master, to make himself quite at home in the office. Mr. Upton, however, exercising a stern impartiality, had from the first excluded every
outsider from the private room, Harmon not excepted, during
the business of opening and assorting the mails. Thereupon
Harmon had taken offence, and was ready to sign any petition
against Upton, without regard to the source whence it originated. With respect to Corwin and Fink and any others
whose names might be found on both the previous petitions,
they were easy, good-natured individuals, who could not say
" no;" and who might generally be prevailed upon to sign
any sort of a paper to which their attention was called.
It was therefore the humble prayer of the petitioners, that
no needless change should be made, but that the present post
master should be continued in office, at least until some good
reason should be assigned for his removal.
Then followed a good show of names designed to impress
the Department with the power and influence of the Upton
party.
This put a different face upon the matter, and simple justice seemed to require that the actual incumbent should remain unmolested in the enjoyment of the honors and emoluments of his office.
But there came another statement from a fourth party,
containing grave and serious charges not only against Barnaby
and Clark, but also against Upton, and recommending the re




300


A STRONG POINT.


moval of the latter, and the appointment of a new candidate,
Mr. Ezekiel Sloman, to the vacancy. It was made to appear
that Mr. Sloman was the man, of all others, to please the community at large; and for a time his prospects were very good;
but some of Upton's friends getting wind of the matter, it
was satisfactorily represented to the Department, that although
an honest, well-meaning man, the said Sloman was entirely
destitute of energy and business tact; that, indeed, he had so
little worldly capacity that he was literally supported by the
charity of friends; and that in order to relieve themselves
of the encumbrance, these friends had united to have him appointed post master.
Thus Sloman was cast overboard. The Upton party exulted.
Their opponents were exasperated, and a coalition was formed
between the Barnaby and Clark factions.
Aminadab Fogle and John Harmon put their heads together. Both Clark and Barnaby were dropped, and all hands
agreed to support a new man named Wheeler. But the main
thing was to remove Upton. The following strong point was
accordingly made against that individual, in addition to the previous charges.
"Although entirely disinterested in the matter, except so far as the
common rights of humanity are concerned, the undersigned consider
it their conscientious duty to inform your Honor that the said Upton
is decidedly opposed to the present national administration. He has
long been at heart an abolitionist of the deepest dye, and of late his
fanaticism has shown itself in public. During the recent Presidential
campaign, the post-office was made the head-quarters of the Free
Soilers, and was, during a large portion of the time, converted into a
regular caucus room by the leaders of that party. That your Honor
may judge for yourself what this man's political conduct has been, the
undersigned take the liberty of calling your attention to the enclosed
editorial notice of a Free Soil meeting in which Deacon Upton took an
active part. It is clipped from the columns of the "Temperance
Goblet," a paper neutral in polities and religion, and entirely inde
pendent and impartial on the post-office question.
The following is the newspaper paragraph referred to:





THE DEACON BEHEADED


301


"Next, we were a little surprised to see our respected friend post master Upton
take the floor, and treat the audience to a harangue, which as a specimen of eloquence
will, we venture to assert, find nothing to compare with it in the orations of Cicero,
But it was the matter, more than the manner of the speech, which excited our astonishment. We had always given our friend credit for being a law and order man,
notwithstanding his well known abolition prejudices," (words in italics underscored with
ink by the petitioners,) until the occasion of this public demonstration of the most
ultra Garrisonianism. How a man, uniformly discreet, should have suffered his
feelings to run away with his judgment in a public discourse, we cannot conceive,
unless it be that in the whirlwind of eloquence that bore him away, all consideration
of law, patriotism, and duty, were lost sight of. After all, it is not Upton who is to
blame, it is the times. He should have lived in Athens, in the palmy days of Grecian
oratory. What would Demosthenes have been by the side of the giant Upton? Echo
answers "What?"
This proved the decisive blow.       Upton was cut off like
Hamlet, senior,
"Even in the blossoms of his sin."
Scarce was his removal effected, however, when the eyes of
Harrowfork were suddenly opened to the fact that he was
" about the best man for post master, that could be had, after
all!"
The slanders that had been circulated to his disadvantage,
were turned in his favor. Among other instances of dishonest dealing, in the opposition party, the great fraud touching Upton's Abolitionism, was now discovered and exposed.
He was proved to be entirely innocent of any such " political
heresy;" and it was further shown that the slip of editorial
clipped from   " The Temperance Goblet," had never appeared
in the columns of that paper-that it had been prepared expressly, and privately printed for the dishonest purpose it had
served 1
But the correction of the false and malicious statements
came too late to benefit Upton in his official capacity. He
had " gone out with the tide," and the returning waves were
ineffectual to bring him in again.    He was politically defunct,
and a new post master "reigned in his stead."
About the new post master. He was the favorite of no
faction, and the appointment came to him as unexpectedly as
to the public. This is the way of it.
26





302


THE " RELIABLE" MAN.


About the time, the " Town Committee," having first endorsed a paper in favor of Wheeler, sent privately to Washington to inform the Post Master General that the said
endorsement was a mere formality, to be taken no notice of
whatever; and to recommend a new candidate named Foster.
The Department becoming not a little disgusted with the
whole business, wrote to a "reliable" man in the vicinity, but
not in the town, for advice on the subject. Flattered by the
compliment, the " reliable" person drew up an elaborate paper
on the subject, demonstrating that the party would be endangered by the appointment of either of the rival candidates,
and representing that some such cool-headed and discreet individual as Mr. Walters, (a widower of forty,) against whom
no prejudice had been raised, and who would no doubt prove
acceptable to the entire community, should receive the commission. This " reliable" man was supposed of course to be
quite disinterested. His suggestion was accordingly adopted,
and Walters walked into the Post-Office, as Upton walked out.
But little opposition would have been excited against the
new incumbent, had the manner of his appointment remained
a secret. But the " reliable" man thought it too good to
keep. He desired that society should know what an important personage he had become. The dignity of his being consulted by the Department at Washington, would be but half
enjoyed privately. He accordingly rode over to Harrowfork,
shook hands with the " Selectmen," talked about the postoffice, and laughed inwardly, holding his sides and looking
suspiciously wise, whenever the subject of the new appointment was broached. He knew a thing or two--he could tell
a secret if he chose-there was more than one way to settle a
quarrel;-he knew the Department, the Department knew
him. Ha! ha! ha! and ho! ho! ho! &c.
Horrible doubts racked the brain of John Harmon. He1
took Aminadab Fogle aside.
" Look here!" said he. "What relation is Judge Ames
(the " reliable man") to the new post master?"





" DETESTABLE APPOINTMENT."


303


"I declare," replied Fogle, "I never thought of that!
Walters is Ames' wife's sister's husband's youngest brother!
He is dreadful thick, too, with the family, and the talk is he
is going to marry Ames' oldest daughter."
"That explains it," said John Harmon; 1"I knew there
was something of the kind at the bottom of it all. Keep
dark, and I'll pump the Judge until we get out of him all
about the way this rascally appointment has been made."
Already it was " a rascally" appointment.
After Harmon's talk with the Judge, who was but too ready
to acknowledge his instrumentality in the matter, it became a
"1 detestable appointment," and an " underhanded proceeding."
And scarce had the tail of the Judge's horse disappeared over
the bridge that night, when all Harrowfork rang with the discovery that had been made. Little thought the "reliable"
man as he went home, chuckling over the joke, what a hornet's nest he had disturbed. But he probably knew something of it the following Sunday, when the widower Walters
went over to Amesbury to pay a visit to the Judge's family in
general, and his eldest daughter in particular.
The truth is, a deafening hum of indignation had gone up
from Harrowfork, and it was universally declared that the new
appointment was by far the most objectionable that could possibly have been made!
The result was, the Department, the "reliable" man, and
the new post master, individually and collectively, got soundly
abused by all hands; and it was not long before a delegation
was dispatched to Washington, to expose the fraud, and remonstrate against the continuance of Walters in office. Against
the latter, the most serious charges were preferred. It was
claimed, among other things, that he had been in town but a
few years; furthermore, that he had some time since held the
office of post master in a neighboring state, and had resigned
to prevent being removed for official delinquencies. It was
mainly on this ground that the Post Master General was induced to recall his commission. Scarcely was this done, how




3041


CURED OF OFFICE HOLDING.


ever, when it was discovered that the unfortunate man had
been wronged; that it was another Walters who had been a
post master, &c.
Anxious to make immediate reparation, the Department
hastened to send on the papers again; but by this time, Walters, indignant at the manner in which he had been treated,
refused to accept the office, writing a high-toned and dignified
letter on the subject to the Post Master General.
"I do not wish," said he, "to have anything whatever to do with
the petty strife of politics. I have not sought, neither do I desire,
any public office. Had such been my ambition, my recent experience
would be sufficient entirely to eradicate the disease, unless it had
become chronic, from the effects of breathing too long the malaria of
political society.
"' Some men are born great; some achieve greatness; and others
have greatness thrust upon them;' mine was of the last description;
but I am thankful that it has been temporary: nor shall I again consent to endure 'the slings and arrows of outrageous Fortune,' in so
lofty and exposed a position as that of post master of Harrowfork."
The sharp and independent style of this epistle made Walters quite popular with the Department, and he was again
urged to accept the commission, which he again refused.
The trouble was accordingly no nearer a settlement than at
the outset. The Department had unwittingly offended everybody, and the "reliable" man was, perhaps, the most violently
indignant of all.  When applied to a second time, he fired off
an explosive epistle at the Post Master General, which would
serve as a model for that style of writing.
" He was not the person," he said, " to place himself more
than once in a position to be gratuitously insulted." And he
was surprised that the Department, after subjecting Walters
to the treatment he had received, should again apply to him
(the Judge) for assistance.     Had he an enemy whom         he
wished to make the victim       of public animadversion and
disgrace, he might possibly nominate him to the office. But
certainly he could not think of laying such an affliction at the





A NEW APPOINTMENT.


305


door of his friends. In conclusion, the Post Master General,
President, and Company, were politely invited to "look elsewhere for support in future."
The truth is, the Judge's vanity was touched. Having enjoyed the notoriety of procuring the appointment of Walters,
he naturally became incensed at the turn affairs had taken,
and seized the first opportunity of emptying the vials of his
wrath in a quarter where they were expected to produce a
sensation. The Administration, however, survived.
Meanwhile Mr. Atkins, editor of the Temperance Goblet,
who had his special candidate-a speculator named Blakewas playing his cards adroitly. He had a strong ally in Hon.
Mr. Savage, M. C., then at Washington.      The last-named
gentleman, who had previously taken offence at the Ppst Master General, for having the independence to fill a vacancy in
a post-office in his District without consulting him, now, however, came alertly to the rescue, assuring the Department that
Blake was the most suitable man that could be chosen. Blake
was accordingly honored with the commission which Walters
had refused.
Now Blake was a strenuous advocate of the "Maine law."
He, accordingly, had for his enemies all the opponents of his
favorite doctrine. The " Harrowfork Freeman," an anti-Maine
law organ, was particularly bitter against him. The editor
of that paper lent his columns to the exposure of the new post
master's past course, and in a "scathing article" accused him
of having been formerly the proprietor of a large distillery,
and of having accumulated the bulk of his property in that
business!
On the other hand, Atkins of the Goblet devoted his paper
to the defence of his candidate. At the same time Hon. Mr.
Savage had become reconciled to the Post Master General, in
consequence of the attention paid to his recommendation in
the case, and wrote a friendly and familiar letter to the Department, explanatory and apologetic of Blake's course. He
alluded to the article in the "Freeman," and expressed a hope
26 *





306


ENLIGHITENED VIEWS.


that the Department would not be prejudiced by its statements.
This reference, by the way, was the first intimation the Department had, that such an article ever appeared. The honorable member went on to treat the subject as if the general
Government and the nation at large stood waiting with breathless anxiety for the issue.
"True," said he, "he was at one time engaged in the manufacture of liquor; but certainly that circumstance should not
injure him in the estimation of high-minded and liberal men.
It is an honest calling, if honestly followed, and nobody will
pretend that Blake has not shown himself upright in all his
dealings. For my part, I hold to enlightened views on the
subject of eating and drinking; nor do I believe that one
citizen has a right to penetrate and criticise another's private
life."
Blake was continued in office, whether in consequence of
the Honorable member's championship, we cannot say. But
certain it was, that in the election struggle which came off
soon after, Atkins of the. Goblet supported the regular candidate for Congress, who was no other than this same Mr. Savage,
of "enlightened views;" and by carrying the mass of the
temperance vote, secured his re-election by some forty-five
majority!
The Goblet's course in this business appeared not a little
mysterious. It had supported Blake for post master-a man
whose temperance professions were now regarded as entirely
superficial and worthless-and Savage for Congress, a person
more than suspected as being a moderate drinker and a man
of boasted " liberal principles." Messrs. Harmon and Fogle put
their dissatisfied heads together to discover the secret. They
were aided and encouraged by the editor of the Freeman, and
presently in an article in that paper headed, "How to make
Tin Night-Caps out of Pine Shingles," the whole " black history of shameless fraud and double-dealing," as it was called,





TU 71TP TOPS.


307


was revealed to an astounded public.   We quote a few paragraphs from the Freeman's article:"Here," said the merciless reviewer, with genuine satire, "here is
a beautiful instance of love and harmony in political life! Here is
prophecy fulfilled. 'The lion and the lamb shall lie down together,
and a little child shall lead them.' Savage-rightly named-is the
lion. Blake-innocent, harmless, dove-like Blake, who never did anything wrong, is the lamb; and Atkins is the little boy. He leads
them into sweet pastures of public office; and gives them to drink of
Congress water and post-office pap. 0 happy trio! 0 honest and
consistent coalition!
"What makes the union appear all the more admirable, is the fact that
the most discordant elementshave here been made to blend and intermingle. Savage is a moderate drinker, who loves his wine at dinner,
and his punch before going to bed. Atkins is a stiff and uncompromising temperance man. One is Maine law, the other is Anti-Maine
law. As for Blake, he is sometimes one, so -etimes both, and sometimes neither one thing nor'the other. But Atkins supports Savage,
Savage supports Blake, and they all support each other.
"Now, as our grandmother used to say, 'wherever you see a turniptop growing, you may be sure that there's a turnip at the bottom of
it. Large or small, it's still a turnip.' Now, we have long admired
the luxuriance of Savage, Atkins, Blake & Co.'s turnip-tops. We
have recently been looking for the turnip, and lo! here it is! Who
secured Savage's re-election? Blake, when at the last county convention of the Maine Laws, he advised them not to make an independent
temperance ticket for Congress. Who devoted his paper to the cause
of the moderate drinker? Atkins. Who got Blake the post-office?
Atkins and Savage. But what are Savage and Blake doing for Atkins
all this time? Is Atkins so unselfish as to work for them gratis?
Nobody believes it! Where then does the milk in the cocoa-nut come
from? Let us see.
" In the first place-we have it on the authority of an old lady who
knows the genealogy of every family in the county, and can trace
most people's ancestry back to Noah-Blake is Atkins's second cousin,
There's one point. Now for another. Blake owns three-fourths of
the entire Goblet printing establishment, and holds the property in
such a way, that he can any day take the paper into his own hands,
and manage it to suit himself! Therefore, whoever edits the Goblet,
is Blake's tributary. We were going to say tool or slave, but con




308


A LULL IN HARROWFORK.


eluded to sacrifice truth to politeness. Thus it happens that Atkins
is only as it were Blake's left hand," &c.
After several more paragraphs of the same sort, the author
of the annihilating article, who found it very difficult to conclude the subject, being of a very rich and attractive nature,
finally summed up all his points, and bound them together
with a striking original quotation, attributed to Shakspeare.
It was as follows:
'" 0 consistency! thou art a jewel!
Which, like the toad, ugly and envious,
Bears yet a precious secret in his head."
It was this mongrel quotation which damped the Freeman's
powder. The Goblet took it up, turning the laugh against its
rival; and for months the modern style of rendering Shakspeare was a standing joke. Of course a copy of the Freeman,
containing the editorial marked, was sent to the Post Master
General; but on reading about the toad at the end of the
annihilating article, the Department dismissed the whole subject with a good-natured laugh.
Notwithstanding the truth of the charges against him,
Blake was continued in office. 'Twas probably the fun of the
thing that saved him.
Then followed a lull. The good people of Harrowfork were
worn out with the harassing post-office question, and it was
permitted to rest until the approach of the next Congressional
election.
Atkins of the Goblet went openly to work to secure the
re-nomination of Savage.    But in the mean time, a "spy in
Washington"--there are always " spies in Washington"privately gave information to the leading Maine law men in
the District, concerning the Honorable member's very equivocal support of temperance principles. Armed with this
intelligence, the indignant constituency remonstrated with





EFFECTS OF BAD WATER.


309


Atkins on the inconsistency of his course.       Hie however,
"flatly denied" the allegations against Savage.
"Very well," said the constituency; "you may be sincere,
but we shall investigate the matter a little."
At the allusion to investigation, Atkins winced, and endeavored to dissuade his friends from such a "needless step."
"We'll have a committee appointed to write Savage a letter,
at all events, and demand an exposition of his principles,"
replied they. "We want to know what sort of a man we are
supporting. We went for Savage before, mainly through your
influence; now we're determined to make sure it's all right,
before we give him a single vote."
"Nonsense, gentlemen," said Atkins; "of course it's all
right! Don't go to bothering our candidate with letters. Letters are the devil in politics."
The temperance men, however, were not to be dissuaded,
and a letter was written, in which the Hon. member was
asked, among other things, if he was or was not " in the habit
of using intoxicating liquors as a beverage, while at the seat
of Government?"
In reply to this question, the gentleman of " enlightened
views" wrote to the committee:"I frankly admit, that th consequence of the bad water at Washington, which has so deleterious an effect upon my health, when I
drink it, as to render me for a large portion of the time unfit for business, I have occasionally, by the advice of my physician, resorted to
ardent spirits, simply as a remedial agent. Yet this habit has been
confined strictly to the Capital. Never out of Washington have I indulged in anything of the sort, even as a medicine."
This letter was received with significant nods and winks,
expressive of doubts and disapprobation, by the committee;
and it was sent to the "Goblet" for publication.   In the mean
time, however, its author had given Atkins private instructions
on the subject; and the "Goblet" declined to publish the
letter.





310


THE REFUSAL.


"Gentlemen," said Atkins, when called on for an explanation, "this is an absurd affair from beginning to end. I
opposed the proceeding at the outset. I consider the letter
perfectly satisfactory; but my readers are tired of these things,
and so am I. I must therefore be excused from having anything to do with the affair."
"You will publish the letter, however, as an advertisement?"
suggested the committee.
" Not even as an advertisement i"
"Not if paid for?"
"No, not if paid for, gentlemen!" said the imperturbable
Atkins.
"Very well," replied the committee, exasperated, "we
know who will publish it."
They went across the way to the office of the 1' Freeman,"
the " rum paper," as it was called. Harmon, who was of the
committee, knew the editor, and took him confidentially aside.
"Atkins," said he, " refuses to print this document; 'twill
be just the thing for you, and it will spite him to see it in the
Freeman."
"To tell you the truth," said he, "I'm afraid to publish it.
'Twill just suit our moderate drinkers, and I'm not so sure but
it would injure our candidate with that class of men. On the
whole," said he, "I think I won't print it."
Foiled in this quarter, John Harmon bethought him of the
"News Courier," a neutral paper published in a neighboring
town, which offered to print communications relating to the
approaching campaign, provided they were written in a proper
spirit, and did not compromise too much its position as a
neutral journal.
The Savage letter was accordingly sent to the Courier, and
promptly appeared in its columns. But the editor, desiring to
keep both scales of the balance as nearly in equilibrium as
possibje, inserted in the same number of his paper a very profound, scientific treatise, signed " Filter," giving an analysis
of the Washington water, showing that its chemical properties





THE QUESTION REVIVED.


311


were identical with those of the member's own well at home 1
and strongly questioning the utility of mixing whiskey with
it at all, and more especially such whiskey as is too often sold
at the seat of Government!
The result was decisive. The Goblet lost popularity and
patronage; Atkins lost influence and money; and Savage lost
the election. On the other hand, the News Courier gained
the favor and support of the temperance people, by its " bold
and manly course" in exposing the rottenness of Savage's
principles. John Harmon was triumphant; and one of the
very leaders of the temperance cause was sent to Congress.
The new member was no other than Judge Ames, the
" reliable" man, himself! Reader, be not surprised! Political
life is fertile in such unexpected events. The Judge had
gained popularity by coming out strongly for the Maine law.
The old party to which he belonged had endorsed his nomination, John Harmon electioneered for him, and lent his horse
and wagon to bring invalids, old men, and indifferent voters to
the polls, on election day; and the Judge was returned by an
overwhelming majority.
Then the old question of post master was again revived,
and the whole ground gone over again; the contest becoming
more personal and desperate than before, and the files of the
Department teeming with all sorts of exaggerated petitions
and violent remonstrances. The appointing power was made
the victim of every kind of imposition and abuse.
In the mean while the new member exercised that better
part of valor, called discretion. Popularity rendered him
good-natured and conservative; and he lost no time in effecting a reconciliation with the Post Master General, of whom
he had so rashly complained. Already, on the other hand he
had written to his constituents describing the embarrassment
of his situation, and requesting as a particular favor that he
might for a brief period at least be excused from any personal
interference with the post-office quarrel.
This unexpected communication somewhat disappointed the





312


BEARER OF DISPATCHES.


enemies of Blake; John Harmon, in particular, was highly
exasperated, having previously obtained a promise from Ames
that, in case of his election, he would use his influence to have
Blake removed.
The antagonistic parties were accordingly left to settle their
difficulties as best they could. The battle raged furiously.
Fresh petitions, remonstrances, affidavits, and accusations were
volleyed at the Department; and at length a special bearer of
dispatches was delegated to Washington, to support the charges
against Blake, and demand of the Post Master General his
reasons for declining immediate action in so plain a case.
Now, the person selected for this important mission was no
other than our old acquaintance, Mr. John Harmon. He was
intrusted with the business for several excellent reasons. In
the first place, he was a ready and vehement talker. Secondly,
he was an enthusiast on the post-office question, and a bitter
opponent of the Blake faction. Thirdly, he understood human
nature, and knew how to manage Ames. Fourthly, and chiefly,
he was the author of the most serious charge against Blake.
He had a short time before posted a letter containing a twenty
dollar bank-note, at the Harrowfork post-office.   This letter
never reached its destination.   Now, Blake knew there was
money in that letter; and it could be proved that, not long
after its miscarriage, just such a bank-note as the one contained
was passed by the post master,      under suspicious circumstances."
This charge was on file among the papers of the Department;
and it was thought that Harmon was the most suitable person
to agitate the subject.
Mr. John Harmon made a comfortable journey, and arrived
at the seat of Government in due season.    His first business
was to secure lodgings suited to the high character of a delegate from  Harrowfork.    But Washington was crowded with
visitors, and the hotels were filled. Mir. John Harmon was
chagrined.   He leaned his chih upon his hand, and his elbow





GOING HALVES.


313


upon the counter of the "National."     Mr. John Harmon
ruminated.
" I don't see but what me'n' you'll hef to go halves, and
turn in together," said a voice at his other elbow.
Mr. John Harmon looked up. A stranger, of tall figure,
prominent cheek-bones, sallow complexion, dressed in a very
new and very stiff suit of clothes, smiled upon him in a
decidedly friendly manner.
" There's jest one room, the landlord says'st we can hav' on a
pinch," contined the speaker. " It's up pooty high, and an't
a very sizable room, at that. I've got the furst offer on't, but
I won't mind makin' a team'th you, if you're a mind to hitch
on, and make the best on't. What d'ye say?"
Mr. John Harmon said he supposed he would accept his
new friend's proposal. But at the same time he hinted to the
clerk at the desk that he was from the Hon. Mr. Ames' District.
" If you were the President, himself, we could not do any
better by you, under the circumstances," said the clerk.
This assurance served to soothe John Harmon's injured feelings, and he retired to the room in the top of the house, with
his new acquaintance.
" Come down on Gov'ment business, I s'pose likely?" suggested the latter.
"Yes," replied John Harmon, "on post-office business."
"I want to know! Glad we fell in," cried the stranger.
SI came down on some sich business myself."
" Indeed!" said John Harmon. " You are going to call on
the Post Master General, then?"
" Shouldn't be 'tall surprised," remarked the other, rolling
up his sleeves over the wash-bowl.    "Can't tell exac'ly,
though. I wanted to see what was goin' on down here, and
git a sight of the big bugs, and hear a little spoutin' in Congress; so I told our folks to hum-says I, I b'lieve I'll scooter
off down to Washin'ton, says I, and take a peep into the Dead
Letter Office, and see if I can find hide or hair o' that 'ere
hundred dollar letter, says I."
27





314


DEAD LETTER OFFICE.


" Have you lost a letter containing a hundred dollars?" inquired John Harmon, interested.
The stranger said "'twas jes' so," and went on to relate the
circumstances. He also incidentally stated that his name was
Forrester Wilcox; that he owned a farm    somewhere " down
East," comprising over two hundred acres of land, and one
hundred and fifty under cultivation; that he had been a
member of the Maine legislature, and held the office of
" deputy sheriff" in his county. This account of himself impressed John Harmon favorably; and in return for the confidence, he talked Mr. Forrester Wilcox to sleep that night, on
the subject of the Harrowfork post-office.
On the following morning, our friends concluded to pay an
early visit to the Post-Office Department. They were now on
excellent terms with each other; and on arriving at the Department, John Harmon readily accepted an invitation from    Forrester Wilcox to accompany him to the Dead Letter Office,
before endangering the digestion of his breakfast, by entering
upon the perplexing Harrowfork business. Accordingly, as
they entered the building, Mr. Wilcox hailed a messenger.
" Look here! you 1" said he, "where abouts does a chap go
to find the Dead Letters?"
" This way," replied the polite messenger.
The visitors were shown to the left, through the lower main
hall of the Department; then turning into another passage,
the messenger pointed out the last door on the right, as the
one they were in search of.
" Thank ye," said Mr. Wilcox; "I'll do as much for you
some time.    May as well bolt right in, I suppose?" he
added, consulting his companion.
John Harmon said "certainly," and the next moment the
two found themselves in the midst of the clerks of that
important Bureau.    Mr. Forrester Wilson singled out one of
the most approachable of them, and addressed him on the
subject of the hundred dollar letter.
" I have no recollection of any such letter," said the clerk.





A CHARGE CLEARED UP.


315


However, for the visitor's satisfaction, he examined the list
of returned money letters, for the last quarter. John Harmon, interested for his friend Wilcox, also ran his eye over
the list.
" It's not here," said the clerk; " but you may rest assured,
that in case it is at any time discovered, it will find its way
back to you in safety."
He was about to dismiss the visitors, but John Harmon
coughed; John Harmon looked very red. John Harmon was
perspiring very profusely. The truth is, among the last letters
on the list, he found recorded the identical one, containing the
twenty dollar bank note, which Blake was charged with purloining! What to do in the matter, John Harmon was at a loss
to know. After some hesitation, however, he asked permission
to glance once more at the list. He was accommodated, and
presently his finger rested on the important entry.
"I declare," said he, "if there ain't a letter I mailed at
Harrowfork! I had no idea of finding it here!    Can I get it
now, by proving property?"
"It has already been returned to your address," answered
the clerk, on learning the circumstances. "'You will find it on
your return to Harrowfork. It miscarried in consequence of
a mistake in the superscription."
" Are you sure it has been sent?" inquired John Harmon.
The clerk was quite sure, and John Harmon instantly withdrew.
"So there's one of your charges agin Blake knocked overboard," suggested Wilcox. "He'll be a little grain tickled to
see that 'ere letter come back, I s'pect!"
"CNo person," answered John Harmon, magnanimously,
" no person in the world can be more rejoiced than I am, that
Blake is proved innocent of the charge."
Wilcox replied that he was very glad to hear it; and so
they parted to meet again at dinner. Whether John Harmon
was so greatl rejoiced at the proof of Blake's innocence, will
be seen in the sequel.





316


INTERVIEW WITH THE ASSISTANT.


While the Down Easter went to see the lions about town,
our delegate found his way to the apartment of the Post Master
General, and inquired for that officer in a manner which said
very plainly, " I am John Harmon, of Harrowfork; and I
guess now we'll have that little post-office affair settled."
Unfortunately-or rather fortunately, for his own peace of
mind, at least, the Post Master General was engaged that
morning at Cabinet meeting at the White House, and John
Harmon was referred to the First Assistant, who listened
patiently to his statement. Our delegate had a speech prepared for the occasion, which he now declaimed in a very high
tone of voice, "with a swaggering accent, sharply twanged.
off," as Sir Toby Belch would have said, and with vehement
and abundant gestures.
" I am instructed by my constituents," he said, in conclusion, "to demand of the Department satisfactory reasons for
the delay and procrastination to which we have been obliged
tamely to submit i"
"You should consider," politely returned the Assistant,
"that Harrowfork numbers only one among some twenty-four
thousand post-offices in the Union; and that it is a little unreasonable to expect us to bear in mind all the details of an
occasional and not uncommon case. We will attend to your
business, however, directly."
The papers relating to the Harrowfork Post-Office were
sent for, and promptly produced.   The delegate seized them
without ceremony. The first endorsement that caught his
eye, checked his eagerness, and induced reflection.
"I'd like to know, sir," said he, "C what that means?" as
he called the Assistant's attention to the word "REST," inscribed in formidable characters, very much resembling the
hand-writing of the Post Master General.
" If you think," he continued, " or imagine, or flatter yourselves that you're to have any kind of rest in this marble building, till that rascally Blake is turned out, you're very much
mistaken. Or if it means that you want the rest of the tem




A HARMLESS WORD.


317


perance men in favor of his removal, I can promise you so
much, on my responsibility as a delegate."
The Assistant smiled. He had dealt with persons of John
Harmon's temperament before.
" Permit me to inform you," said he, " what that harmless
little word signifies. It means nothing more nor less than
that, for the present, no action is to take place. Ah!" he
added, glancing at the brief upon the papers, " I remember
this case very well! It has been from first to last an exceedingly vexatious one to the Department, and these memoranda
bring it pretty fully to my recollection."
" Well, sir," interrupted John Harmon, in his declamatory
way-" isn't it plain? isn't it perfectly clear? Haven't we the
rights of the case, sir?"
"It is not quite so plain-not quite so clear-nor is it easy
to determine who has the rights of the case," returned the
official.  "The most troublesome point at the present time,
seems to be this: while, according to the documents, a majority of the citizens of Harrowfork seem to be eager for a
removal, both the late member of Congress, and the newly
elected one, have written private letters here-I mention this
confidentially-in favor of the present incumbent."
" You don't mean Ames?" cried John Harmon.         "Ames
hasn't come out for Blake?"
" There is a letter on file, over his own signature, in which
he represents that Blake is as suitable a man as could be
named, and that he had better be continued in office."
The Assistant spoke with seriousness and candor. John
Harmon was thunderstruck.
" Just give me a look at that letter!" said he, through his
closed teeth. " I want to see it over Ames' own fist, before I
believe it! When we promised our support for his election,
he agreed to carry out our wishes in regard to the post-office,
at all hazards! If he has dared to turn traitor!" muttered
John Harmon, revengefully.
"The letter is entirely of a private nature," said the Assist27 *





318


THE FATAL LETTER.


ant, "but it is contrary to our wishes to keep any communications secret, that are designed to influence our public acts;
and owing to the peculiar circumstances of the case, I am willing to show you the letter,-on condition, however, that its
contents shall not be divulged outside the Department."
John Harmon, burning to seize upon the evidence of Ames'
treachery, assented, although reluctantly; and the official explored the wilderness of papers, for the document in question.
"Here it is," said he, "no!"-glancing at the endorsement" this is a communication with regard to a letter of your own,
containing a twenty dollar note, which Blake is charged with
purloining. How is it about that? anything new?"
" Well,-no,-hem!" coughed John Harmon. After discovering the proof of Blake's innocence, in the Dead Letter
Office, he rather hoped the subject would not be mentioned;
but he was too much absorbed in looking after Ames' honesty,
to take very good care of his own.     " The matter-hem!"
(John's throat was quite musty)-" stands about as it did."
" You have no positive proof of the charge, then?"
" No,-well,-that is, not what would be called legal proof,
I suppose. The circumstances were very strong against Blake
at the time, but being all in the neighborhood, nobody liked
to prosecute. For my part," said John Harmon, nobly, " I'd
rather suffer wrong, than do wrong, and I preferred to lose
the twenty dollars, to injuring Blake's private character."
The Assistant made a commendatory remark touching this
generous sentiment, and passed over the letter. John Harmon wiped the perspiration from his brow, and felt relieved.
Whether he was ashamed to confess his own gross carelessness
in the matter, and the injustice of his charge, or whetheracting on the principle of doing evil that good might come
from it, he determined to make the most of every point
established against Blake, without regard to truth-does not
plainly appear. We leave the affair to his own conscience.
The assistant meanwhile drew Ames' letter out of the " case."
In his eagerness to grasp it, John Harmon dropped it upon















A RICH SCENE.


319


the floor. As he stooped to take it up, his eye caught a
glimpse of a visitor who had just entered. John Harmon
looked at the visitor, the visitor looked at John Harmon.
John Harmon looked first red, then white; the visitor looked
first very white, then very red. The delegate was the first to
resume his self-possession.
"Well, friend Ames, how do you do?" said he, adroitly
shifting the letter from his right hand to the left, and giving
the former to the "Honorable" member.
c "Very well! Capital!" replied Ames, nervously. "What's
the news?"
' Nothing particular," said John Harmon, with a grim
smile, sliding the letter into his hat.  "Fine weather-Good
deal of company at Washington, I find."
"0 yes, considerable!"  Ames rubbed his hands, and tried
to appear at ease.  "I am   glad to see you here.  You must
go up to the House with me.    How are all the folks at home?
How's Harrowfork now-a-days?"
John Harmon answered these questions evasively.
At the same time, the Assistant's countenance betrayed an
inward appreciation of unspeakable fun.   The member's face
grew redder still, and still more red. The truth is, he had
that morning received a note from Blake warning him of Harmon's journey to the Capital, and had just left his seat in the
House, hastening to the Department, to secure the fatal letter
before it betrayed his treachery.
As we have seen, he was just too late.
The Assistant took pleasure in seating the two visitors side
by side upon the same sofa, and allowed them to entertain
each other. But the conversation was forced, unnatural, embarrassing. At length Ames, resolved upon knowing the
worst, plunged desperately intothe all-important subject.
"I suppose," said he, "you don't entirely get over the excitement at home about the post-office."
SNo, we don't," replied John Harmon, significantly; "and
that ain't the worst of it."  He bent over the end of the sofa,





320


THE MEMBER IN A " FIX."


and deliberately, with the grimmest sort of smile, drew from
his hat the Honorable member's private note.
" And, somehow, it don't strike me," he added, glancing
his eye over its contents, " that this letter of yours is going to
lessen the excitement very materially. I suppose you know
that hand-writing?"
He thrust the letter into the Honorable member's face.
The Honorable member's face flushed more fiery than before.
He stammered, he smiled, he rubbed his handkerchief in his
hands, and upon his brow.
"My dear Harmon," said he, blandly, "I see you don'`.
fully understand this business."
"I'm sure I don't," cried John Harmon; "and I'd like to
find the honest man who does! Didn't you pledge yourself
to use your influence, if elected, to have Blake removed?"
"Don't speak so loud!" whispered the Honorable member,
who didn't at all fancy the humorous smile on the Assistant's
face.  "It's all right, I assure you. But this isn't exactly
the place to talk over the affair.  Come with me to my lodgings, and we'll discuss the matter."
Not averse to discussion, John Harmon consented to the
proposal.
"I beg your pardon," said the Assistant Post'Master General, " but that paper,-I cannot suffer that to be removed."
It was the fatal letter. John Harmon wanted it; the Honorable member wanted it still more; but the Assistant insisted, and the document was left behind.
Now, the Honorable member was in what is commonly
termed a "fix."   Like too many such politicians, who, nevertheless, as Mark Antony says, are "all honorable men," he
had found it convenient to adopt the "good Lord, good devil"
policy, using two oars to row his boat into the comfortable haven of public office.
Accordingly, while gently drawing figmative wool over the
visual organs of the radical temperance people, he had managed,
at the same time, by private pledges, to conciliate Atkins,





AMICABLY ARRANGED.


321


Blake & Company, and secure the silence of the Goblet. Once
elected, he did not fail to look forward to a future election,
in view of which he considered it expedient to smile upon one
faction with one side of his face, and grin upon the opposition
with the other.
For this double-dealing, honest, honest Iago,-we mean
honest John Harmon-called the member to account.
How the affair was settled is not generally known. But one
thing is positive. The Honorable member and the delegate
from Harrowfork suddenly blossomed into excellent and enduring friends; and not long after, Mr. John Harmon became
the occupant of a snug berth at the seat of Government, supposed to have been obtained through the influence of the
Honorable member from his District.
" How about Blake and the post-office?" inquired Mr. Forrester Wilcox, the morning he left Washington.
1I've concluded," replied John Harmon, candidly, "that
the post-office is well enough as it is. Blake turns out to be
a passable kind of post master after all, and I don't really
think 'twill be worth while to make any change for the present."
And this was the answer the worthy delegate made to all
persons, who, from that time forward, interrogated him on the
subject.
Shortly after, his very Honorable friend, the member from
his District, being now decidedly averse to political letterwriting, went home on a flying visit, and passing through
Harrowfork, took pains to make himself agreeable to all
parties. Among other nice and prudent acts, he privately
consulted Blake. The post master listened to his advice, and
immediately on the member's return to Washington, appointed
as an assistant in his office, a young man of strict temperance
principles, who was quite popular with the opposition, and
who had for some time acted as Secretary of the "County
Association for the Suppression of Intemperance."





322            THE TEMPERANCE ASSISTANT.
This appointment seemed to cast oil upon the troubled
waters. And so the matter rests at the present date.
Ames is still in Congress; John Harmon continues to enjoy
his comfortable quarters at the seat of Government.      Tim
Blake remains the efficient post master of Harrowfork, with
the young man of strict temperance principles for his assistant; and Atkins still edits the Goblet.
This powerful organ has of late regained something of its
former popularity and patronage; but whether it will support
Ames at the next Congressional election, depends upon Blake;
whether Blake retains his office, depends upon Ames; whether
Ames maintains his position and influence at home, depends
in a very great measure upon honest John Harmon, who, like
the Ghost in Hamlet,
" Could a tale unfold, whose lightest word would harrow up"
the political soil of Harrowfork, in a manner dangerous to the
Constitution and the Union.





CHAPTER XXI.


UNJUST COMPLAINTS
Infallibility not claimed-" Scape-Goats"-The Man of Business
Habits-Home Scrutiny.
A Lady in Trouble-A bold Charge-A wronged Husband-Precipitate Retreat.
Complaints of a Lawyer-Careless Swearing-Wrong Address--No
Retraction.
A careless Broker-The Charge repulsed-The Apology-Mistake
repeated-The Affair explained-A comprehensive Toast.
INFALLIBILITY is not claimed by those connected with the
Post-Office Department, and it cannot be denied that mistakes
sometimes occur through the carelessness or incompetency of
some clerk or other official. But if there is a body of men
who perform the duties of scape-goats more frequently than
any other, those men are post masters, and post-office clerks.
Whoever takes this responsible station with the expectation
that a faithful discharge of his duty will protect him from all
suspicion and blame, cherishes a pleasing dream that may at
any moment be dispelled by the stupidity, or carelessness, or
rascality of any one among the many-headed public, whose
servant he is.
When it is considered that in the selection of persons to fill
the important office of post master, the Department makes
every effort to secure the services of competent and honest
(323)





324


THE MAN OF BUSINESS HABITS.


men, and that they, in the appointment of their clerks, generally endeavor to obtain those of a like character, it may reasonably be supposed that at least as high a degree of accuracy
and integrity can usually be found inside of post-office walls,
as without its boundaries.
I cannot, indeed, claim for this corps of officials entire
immaculacy. Could I justly do so, they would be vastly superior in this respect to mankind at large. But without setting
up any such high pretensions, I would suggest that those connected with the post-office receive a greater share of blame for
failures in the transmission of letters than justly belongs to
them. Many people seem to think that nobody can commit a
blunder, or be guilty of dishonesty in matters connected with
the mails, but post masters or their employes.
Acting on this impression, such persons, when anything
goes wrong in their correspondence, do not stop to ascertain
whether the fault may not be nearer home, but at once make
an onslaught upon the luckless post-office functionary who is
supposed to be the guilty one.
The investigation of some such unfounded charges, resulting
in placing the fault where it belonged, has brought to light
curious and surprising facts, respecting the atrocious blunders
sometimes committed by the most accurate and methodical
business men. Such men have been known to send off letters
with no address, or a wrong one; and even (as in one case
which will be found in this chapter) to persist in attempting
to send a letter wrongly directed. They have been known to
mislay letters, and then to be ready to swear that they had
been mailed. The blame of these and similar inadvertencies
has been laid, of course, upon somebody connected with the
post-office.
Mr. A. is a man of business habits; he never makes such
mistakes, and indignantly repudiates the idea that any one in his
employ could be thus delinquent. So the weight of his censure falls on the much-enduring shoulders of a post-office clerk.
Besides the class of cases to which I have alluded, which





HOME SCRUTINY.


325


arise from nothing worse than carelessness or stupidity, many
instances occur in which the attempt is made by dishonest
persons to escape detection, by throwing the blame of their
villany upon post-office employes. Cases like the following
are not uncommon.
A merchant sends his clerk or errand-boy to mail a letter
containing money. This messenger rifles it, reseals it, and
deposits it in the letter box. On the receipt of the letter by
the person to whom it is addressed, the robbery comes to
light; and, as the merchant is naturally slow to believe in the
dishonesty of his messenger, he at once jumps at the conclusion that the theft was committed after the letter entered the
post-office. In such cases, and in those of which I have been
speaking, it would be well to establish the rule that scrutiny,
like charity, should "begin at home."
Letters are sometimes mailed purporting to contain money
for the payment of debts-when in fact they contain nonewith the intention of making it appear that they have been robbed
in their passage through the mails. In short, the cases are
numberless in which, through inadvertence or design, censure
is unjustly thrown upon the employes of the post-office; and
the investigations of this class of cases forms no unimportant
branch of the duties of a Special Agent.
It has been the pleasing duty of the author, in not a few
instances, to relieve an honest and capable official from the
load of suspicion with which he was burdened, by discovering,
often in an unexpected quarter, where the guilt lay.
THE BITER BIT.
The following case, which might properly be entitled C" The
Biter Bit," displays still another phase of the subject in hand.
A lady of a very genteel and respectable appearance, called
one day on a prominent New England post master, with a letter
in her hand, which she insisted had been broken open and
28





326


A LADY IN TROUBLE.


resealed.  She handed the letter to the post master, who
examined it, and appearances certainly seemed to justify her
assertion. She further declared that she well knew which
clerk in the office had broken it open, and that he had previously served several of her letters in the same way. Upon
hearing this, the post master requested her to walk insile the
office, and point out the person whom she suspected.
Such an unusual phenomenon as the appearance of a lady
inside the office, produced, as may be supposed, a decided
sensation among the clerks there assembled. Nor was the
sensation diminished in intensity when the post master informed
them, that the lady was there for the purpose of identifying
the person who had been guilty of breaking open her letters!
This announcement at once excited the liveliest feelings of
curiosity and solicitude in the mind of almost every one present, and each one, conscious of innocence, indulged in conjectures as to who that somebody else might be, whom the
accusing Angel (?) was to fix upon as the culprit.
All their conjectures fell wide of the mark. After looking
about for a moment, the lady pointed out the last man whom
any one in the office would have suspected of such an offence
-one of the oldest and most reliable of their number.
" That is the person," said she, indicating him by a slight
nod of the head; "1 and if he persists in making so free with
my letters, I will certainly have him arrested.  Why my letters
should always be selected for this purpose, I cannot imagine;
but if any more of them are touched, he will wish he had let
them alone."
This direct charge, and these threats, produced a greater
commotion among his fellow clerks, than in the mind of the
gentleman accused. Waiting for a moment after she had
spoken, he broke the breathless silence that followed her words,
by saying calmly,-" Mrs. ---, I believe?"
"That is my name, sir."
"Have you concluded your remarks, madam?"
" I have, sir, for the present."





A WRONGED HUSBAND).


327


"Then, madam, I will take the liberty to inform    you that
your husband is the person on whom you ought to expend
your indignation.    He has, at different times, taken several
of your letters from the office, opened and read them, and
after resealing, returned them to the letter box, having made
certain discoveries in those letters, to which he forced me to
listen, as furnishing sufficient ground for his course, and justifying former suspicions! He earnestly requested me never
to disclose who had opened the letters, and I should have continued to observe secrecy, had not your accusation forced me
to this disclosure in self-defence. If you wish to have my
statement corroborated, I think I can produce a reliable
witness."
The lady did not reply to this proposition, but made a precipitate retreat, leaving the clerk master of the field, and was
never afterwards seen at that post-office.
In the summer of 1854, among the complaints of missing
letters made at the New York post-office, was one referring to
a letter written by a young lawyer of that city, directed as
was claimed, to a party in Newark, N. J.     Enclosed was the
sum of twenty-five dollars in bank-notes.
The writer of the letter was annoyed by the circumstance, to
an unusual degree, and caused a severe notice of censure upon
the Post-Office Department, to be inserted in one of the leading New York journals. A formal certificate was also drawn
up, duly sworn to, and forwarded to Washington.
It read as follows:State of New York,
City and County of New York, ss.
John B. C--, of said city, Counsellor at Law, being duly sworn,
doth depose and say that on the 19th day of July-instant, he enclosed
the sum of $25 in a letter addressed to Capt. John M--, Newark,
N. J., and deposited the same in the post-office in the city of New
York. That the snid enclosure and deposit of the letter was made in





328


WRONG ADDRESS.


the presence of one of the principal clerks of the said post-office,
whose attention deponent particularly called to the fact at the time.
That deponent is informed, and believes that the said clerk's name is
John Hallet.
Sworn before me this
10th day of August, 1854.
(Signed)    HENRY H. M   -,
Comr. of Deeds.
The complainant was visited by the Special Agent, and the
bare suggestion that the failure might have been owing to
some error in the address of the letter, was received with
much indignation.    He didn't do business in that way, and
the post-office and its clerks couldn't cover up their carelessness or dishonesty, by any such inventions. I
The reader ought to have been present in the post master's
room, some few months subsequently, when this infallible (?)
individual called, in response to a notice that his letter had
been returned from the Dead Letter Office!
Secretary.-" Good morning, Mr. C--        -."
C.-" Good morning, sir.     I have received a notice to call
here for a letter."
-Secretary.-" Yes, sir, that is the one referred to, (placing
the unlucky missive before him). Is that address in your
hand-writing?"
C.-" Why,-y-e-s, it's mine sure-I couldn't dispute
that."
Secretary.-" It seems to be directed to Newburg, N. Y.,
instead of to Newark, N. J."
C.-" I have nothing to say. I could have sworn that the
address was correct."
Secretary.-" You did so swear, I believe.     Mistakes will
happen, but I think the least you can do, will be to retract
the article you published censuring us, for what you were
yourself to blame."
The amazed limb of the law made no further reply, but left
the office gazing intently on the letter, and in his bewilder




A CARELESS BROKER.


329


ment getting the wrong door, as he had originally got the
wrong address upon the letter.
No such correction was ever made, however, and like
hundreds of similar faults, for which others are alone responsible, the charge yet stands against the Post-Office Department,
and those in its employ.
Some years since, a letter containing drafts and other
remittances to a considerable amount, was deposited in the
New York office, to be transmitted by mail, having been
directed (as was supposed) to a large firm in Philadelphia.
This letter would pass through the hands of a clerk, whose
duty it was to separate all those deposited in the letter box,
and arrange them according to their respective destinations.
He discovered that it was directed to New York, yet though
he had heard of the firm to which it was addressed, hewhought
it might have been so directed for some particular purpose,
and accordingly placed it in the " alphabet," for delivery to
the proper claimant. On the day after this, Mr. D., of the
firm of D. & A., well known brokers in Wall Street, called at
the office and stated that his clerk had deposited such a letter
to be mailed in time to go to Philadelphia the same day, but
that he had been advised that it had not been received.
The clerk in attendance was somewhat perplexed by this
statement, but suggested the probability that his clerk, in the
hurry of business, had directed it wrong.
Mr. D. replied that this could not be, for he saw all his
letters before they were confided to the charge of his clerk,
and as the one in question had not been received, it must
have been mailed incorrectly through the ignorance or carelessness of the clerk assigned to that duty; and indeed went
so far as to intimate that it might have been detained purposely. This insulting remark induced the post-office clerk to
express his perfect indifference concerning such a groundless
conjecture, and to state, as his opinion, that. the charge of
28*





330


THE APOLOGY.


ignorance, carelessness, or sinister design, would eventually be
found to rest on the shoulders of Mr. D. or his clerks.
Against this turning of the tables, that gentleman indignantly protested, and the post master, who overheard the
altercation, appeared vexed and displeased at the supposed
delinquency of his clerk. A general search was commenced
in the office, in order, if possible, to settle the disputed point.
In the course of this investigation, the "pigeon-hole" designed for letters corresponding with such a name as that of
the Philadelphia firm, was examined, and the letter in question was found, directed "New York," instead of "Philadelphia."
Upon 'this being known, Mr. D. made many apologies,
begged to be exonerated from all intention to charge criminality upon any one, took his letter and retired, much disconcerted and chagrined.
He went to his office and poured out sundry vials of wtath
upon the head of his luckless clerk, to whom he attributed the
atrocious blunder which had been committed. The affair,
however, did not end here.
On the following day a letter was deposited in the postoffice, at about one o'clock, in time for the Philadelphia mail,
directed precisely as before! viz. addressed to the Philadelphia
firm, but directed " New York," and happened to fall under
the eye of the clerk who had been cognisant of the error of the
day previous. This second instance of gross inadvertence, or
something worse, on the part of somebody, was rather too
much for the equanimity of the post master, who at once sent
for Mr. D., and showed him the letter, which seemed as if it
was under the influence of some mischievous enchanter.     As
the words "New York," in the superscription, stared D. in
the face, he in turn became enraged, and was about to leave
the office with the fell design of discharging his clerk instanter.
The post master then requested him, before he left, to sit
down and alter the direction of the letter from "New York"





THE AFFAIR EXPLAINED.


331


to " Philadelphia," which he did.     The letter was mailed
accordingly, and duly received.
A few days afterwards, the post-office clerk met Mr. D., and
said to him, " I suppose you have turned off your clerk for his
mismanagement in relation to the letter about which so much
trouble was made in our office."
" Ah!" replied he, " I believe I shall have to confess that
I was ýhe only one to blame in the matter. My clerk was
perfectly innocent. On returning home with the letter, I laid
it down with the intention of having the mistake in the direction rectified, but having something else to call off my attention
just then, it was mixed with the letters for city delivery, and
was taken to the office with them by my clerk."
Thus all this trouble and vexation was caused by the carelessness of a man who was accustomed to system and accuracy
in the transaction of his business; and the above related facts
may lead even persons of this description not to be too confident of their own freedom from error, when any mistake like
that just mentioned occurs.
I can give no better summary of the whole subject under
consideration, than that which is found in some remarks made
by Robert H. Morris, Esq., on the occasion of his retirement
from the office of post master of New York, in May, 1849, at
a dinner prepared for the occasion.
During the evening Mr. Morris said,
"Gentlemen, please fill your glasses for a toast. As I
intend to toast a man you may not know, I deem it necessary,
before mentioning his name, to tell you what sort of a man
he is.
"He rises at 4 o'clock in the morning and works assiduously
during the whole day, until 7 o'clock in the evening-goes
wearied to bed, to rise again at 4 o'clock, and again to work
assiduously.
" If the gentlemen of the press-and there are some among
us-incorrectly direct their newspapers for subscribers, it is





332


A COMPREHENSIVE TOAST.


the fault of the man I intend to toast, if the papers do not
reach those to whom they should have been addressed.
" If a publishing clerk omits to address a newspaper to a
subscriber, it is the fault of the man I intend to toast that the
subscriber does not get his paper.
" If a man writes a letter and seals it, and neglects to put any
address upon it, it is the fault of the man I will toast, if the
letter does not reach the person for whom it was intended.
"1 If an officer of a bank addresses a letter to Boston instead
of New Orleans, it is the fault of the man I shall presently
toast, if the letter is not received at New Orleans.
"If a merchant's clerk puts a letter in his overcoat, and
leaves that coat at his boarding-house, with the letter in his
pocket, the man I will toast is to blame because the letter
has not reached its destination.
"If a merchant shuts up a letter he has written, between
the leaves of his ledger, and locks that ledger in his safe, the
man I will toast has caused the non-reception of that letter.
" If a poor debtor has no money to pay his dunning creditor,
and writes a letter that he encloses fifty dollars, but encloses no
money, having none to enclose, the man I will toast has stolen
the money.
"If a good, warm-hearted, true friend, receives a letter
from a dear (?) but poor friend, asking the loan of five dollars;
and, desiring to be considered a good, warm-hearted, true
friend, and at the same time to save his five dollars, writes a
letter saying 'dear friend, I enclose to you the five dollars,'
but only wafers into the letter a small corner of the bill,-the
man I will toast has stolen the five dollars out of the letter,
and in pulling it out, tore the bill.
" If a rail-road-bridge is torn down or the draw left open, and
the locomotive is not able to jump the gap, but drops into the
river with the mail, the man I will toast has caused the failure
of the mail.
" This, gentlemen, is the stranger to you, whom I will toast.
I give you, gentlemen-A POST-OFFICE CLERK I"





CHAPTER XXII.


PRACTICAL, ANECDOTAL, ETC.
The wrong Address-Odd Names of Post-Offices-The Post-Office a
Detector of Crime-Suing the British Government-Pursuit of a
Letter Box-An "Extra" Customer-To my Grandmother-Improper Interference-The Dead Letter-Sharp CorrespondenceThe Irish Heart-My Wife's Sister.
GIVING the wrong State in an address, is a disease as common
among letters, as hydrophobia among dogs. A draper's clerk
in C-     sent a remittance to Boston which did not arrive
there. The draper was obliged to send the amount (three
hundred and fifty dollars) again, which he did personally, to
prevent mistakes. This too failed to arrive, but the first was
soon received by him from the Dead Letter Office, having
died at Boston in New York, instead of Massachusetts! The
merchant drank gunpowder-tea, and gave his clerk a " blowing
up." The latter person, however, was in some sort avenged,
not long after, for Coroner John Marron reported that the
second letter, written and mailed by the merchant himself,
had died of the same disease that carried off the first, and
forwarded the body to him.
It should here be mentioned, for the benefit of the uninitiated, that the gentleman referred to, is the Third Assistant
Post Master General, embracing the Superintendence of the
Dead Letter Office.   His duties may be considered as in some
respects analogous to those of a Coroner, as he, or those in his
(333)





334


ODD NAMES OF POST-OFFICES.


bureau, in the case of defunct money letters, ascertain the
causes of death, and send the remains to surviving friends.
The omission of the name of the State from the address of
a letter, often causes much uncertainty in its motions.
There are, for instance, seven Philadelphias besides the one
in Pennsylvania, twenty-three Salems, as many Troys, and no
end of Washingtons, Jeffersons, and other names distinguished
in the history of the country.
There are three New Yorks, and eleven Bostons. Indeed
the majority of the names of the post-offices are at least
duplicated, and often repeated many times, as we could easily
show; but two or three more specimens of this will suffice.
Twenty-three Franklins, twenty Jacksons, and sixteen Madisons, will help to perpetuate the memories of the distinguished
men who once bore those names.
The danger of a letter's miscarrying in consequence of the
omission of the name of the State on its direction, is of course
reduced to nothing, when there is no other post-office in the
country with the same name as the one addressed, especially
if there is any oddity about the name. Thus, were we to
direct a letter to " Sopchoppy," it would be likely to find the
place rejoicing in that euphonious title, even were the State
(Florida) omitted in the address; although it would often
involve the trouble of consulting the list of post-offices.
" Sorrel Horse," also, could not fail to receive whatever might
be sent to it.
A  teetotaler would not be surprised to find "Sodom" in
"c Champaign County;" and while on this subject we would
say that temperance views seem to have prevailed in naming
post-offices.  We have two named Temperance, and three
Temperancevilles, to balance which, besides the above Sodom,
there appear only " Gin Town," and "Brandy Station," one
of each.
One given to speculation on such matters, would be curious
to know what must be the state of society in " Tight Squeeze."
Is the " squeeze" commercial or geographical? Do hard times





THE POST-OFFICE A DETECTOR OF CRIME.


335


prevail there as a general thing, or is there some narrow pass,
leading to the place, which has originated the name?    There
may be some tradition connected with the subject; at least a
moderately lively fancy might make something even of such
an unpromising subject as " Tight Squeeze."
Far different must be the condition of things in " Pay
Down." This favored place is doubtless eschewed by advocates of the credit system, and here Cash must reign triumphant.
Some villages seem to aspire to astronomical honors. There
are in our social firmament, one Sun, one Moon, and two
Stars; also one Eclipse, and a Transit, whether of Venus or
not is unknown.   So it appears that the "man in the Moon,"
is not altogether a fictitious character, but may be a post
master.
The twenty-five thousand names contained in the list of postoffices would furnish many other curiosities as noticeable as
those just cited, and we refer those who are desirous of entering more largely into the subject, to that work.
It is sufficient for us to have called the attention of the
public to the necessity of exactness and sufficient fulness in
the address of letters, to insure their delivery at the place
where they are intended to go. Much vexation, and real inconvenience would be obviated, if more care were exercised in
this respect, and the Dead Letter Office would have fewer
inquests to make.
THE POST-OFFICE AS A DETECTOR OF CRIME.
The mails, as we have seen, afford facilities to the rogue
for carryireg out his designs as well as to the honest man in
the prosecution of his business. But the post-office has been
made, accidentally or purposely, the instrument of bringing
to light criminals who had hitherto remained undetected; and
whose deeds had no such connection with the mails as those
which have thus far been described in this work.





836


SUING THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT.


A striking instance of this has been kindly furnished me
by the Cincinnati Post Master, relating to a case which has
excited the horror of the whole country.     I refer to the
Arrison case, most of the circumstances of which are doubtless familiar to my readers.
It will be recollected that the man Arrison was guilty of
murdering the steward of the Cincinnati Hospital, and his
wife, by means of a box, containing explosive materials, which
took fire by the action of opening it. Arrison immediately
absconded, and his place of retreat remained undiscovered for
some time; but he was destined to be betrayed by a chain of
circumstances, hanging upon an accident of the most trifling
description.
A letter came to the Cincinnati office from Muscatine, Iowa,
addressed to "P. F. Willard, Cincinnati, Ohio."   The Muscatine postmark was so placed as to cover the P. in the address
in such a manner as to make it resemble a C. There being a
young lawyer in the place by the name of C. F. Willard, the
letter was very naturally placed in his box. Upon opening
and reading the document, he found that its contents were of
the most mysterious character, and totally incomprehensible.
Finding thus that it was not intended for him, he very properly returned it to the office with the request that it should
be handed to the post master. This gentleman calling to
mind the circumstances of the Arrison case, and being
familiar with some of the names connected therewith, came
to the conclusion, after reading the letter, that Arrison was
the writer, and thereupon gave the information which led to
his discovery and arrest.
SUING THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT.
A clerk stationed at the " General Delivery" window of
the post-office, dispensing epistolary favors to the impatient
throng without, was suddenly confronted by a countenance





PURSUIT OF A LETTER BOX.


337


flaming with wrath; which countenance was part and parcel of
the individual, now first known to fame by the name of Mike
Donovan, who had elbowed his way through the crowd, and
now stood before the astonished official, demanding justice.
Handing him    a foreign letter, marked "24 cents," Mike
exclaimed in a tone of righteous indignation,
"Here, sir, is a letther that I paid twinty-four cints for,
out of me own pocket, and the letther is from Pat Cosgrove,
me cousin in ould Ireland, and Pat is as honest a boy as iver
saw daylight, and Pat, he says inside of the letther that he
paid the postage, and so some raskill has chated me, and I
mane to make him    smart for't; and I'd be obleiged to ye if
ye'd tell me who to sue. Bedad, it isn't me that's goin to put
up wid such rashcality."
Here he brought down his shillalah on the floor, to the
imminent danger of his neighbor's toes, with an emphasis
strongly suggestive of his fixed determination to exact the
uttermost farthing from his unknown defrauder.
The clerk informed him if any mistake had occurred, the
British Government was the delinquent, and therefore the
party to be sued.
" Is it the British Government?" inquired Pat.
" Certainly," was the reply, "that's where you must look
for your twenty-four cents."
Mike settled his hat over his eyes, and walked out of the
office with an air of defiance to the world in general, and the
British Government in particular.
PURSUIT OF A LETTER BOX.
Timothy Boyle, entering the post-office one morning, and
perceiving a clerk " taking a limited view of society" through
the aperture technically called " general delivery," naturally
supposed that the duties of this functionary included receiving
as well as delivering, and accordingly handed him a letter
29





338


THE TAILOR'S SHOP.


adorned with the lineaments of the Father of his Country,
(not Tim's,) and bearing upon its exterior this general exhortation to all whom it might concern,-" With spede."
The clerk directed Tim to deposit the document in the
letter box.
SAnd where is the letther box?"
" Follow this railing," said the young man, u and you will
find it round the corner;" meaning thereby the corner of the
tier of boxes, which was surrounded by a neat railing.
On the strength of these instructions, Tim turned on his
heel, dashed into the main street, ("with spede," as per
letter,) and walked on vigorously till he arrived at a corner,
which happened to be occupied as a tailor's shop.
SI want to put this letther in the box," said Tim, after
looking about him in vain for any sign of such a receptacle.
"What box?" asked the tailor.
" What box would I put it in but the letther box?" replied
Tim.
" Who sent you here after a letter box?" said the tailor;
" you must be a natural fool to suppose that we have any such
thing here."
"Natheral fule or not, sir, I was towld by the clark at the
post-office that I'd find the boi round the corner, and shure
this is a corner I've come to, and if it isn't here, I don't know
where I'll find it."
"You'd better go back to the post-office," said the tailor,
" and see whether the clerk can make you understand where
to put your letter."
So the unlucky Tim left the tailor's shop with the impression that he had been made a goose of by the post-office clerk,
and by " nursing his wrath to keep it warm," he succeeded in
bringing it to the boiling point, by the time that he again
entered the office.
" And it's a purty thrick ye've bin a playin' me, Misthur
Clark," he vociferated, "sendin' me to a tailor's shop for a





AN "EXTRA" CUSTOMER.


339


letther box! Bad luck to ye, what for did ye put me to all
this throuble?"
The clerk blandly explained to Mr. Boyle that the "throuble"
was caused by his own impetuosity, not to say stupidity, and
finally succeeded in describing the locality of the letter box
in such a lucid manner, that even Tim was guided by his
direction to the much desired spot, and it is to be hoped that
the letter in question underwent no more such vicissitudes,
before it reached its destination.
AN "EXTRA" CUSTOMER.
An Irish dame entered the post-office at -, and walking
up to the post master with a letter in one hand, and a three
cent piece in the other, she committed them both to his
charge, inquiring, " will the letther go?"
" Certainly it will," was the reply.
" But is it in time for the extra?"
' In time for the what?" asked the mystified post master.
"Is this letther in time for the extra " repeated the
woman.
" What do you mean by extra," rejoined the official.
" I mane, is the baggage put up?" replied the persevering
questioner.
The post master, seeing that the good woman was so
thoroughly posted up in all the details of letter-sending, informed her categorically that the letter would go, inasmuch
as it was in time for the " extra," and the "baggage" was not
4" put up."
Hereupon the inquisitive lady, having been fully satisfied
in her own mind that the epistle would not fail of the " extra,"
sailed out of the office a happier, if not a wiser woman.





340


TO MY GRANDMOTIIER.


TO MY GRANDMOTHER.
A little bright eyed, flaxen-haired boy, was one day observed
to enter the vestibule of the post-office at Washington, with a
letter in his hand, and to wait very modestly for the departure
of the crowd collected about the delivery window. As soon
as the place was cleared, he approached the letter box and
carefully deposited his epistle therein, lingering near as if to
watch over the safety of the precious document. His motions
attracted the attention of the clerk stationed at the window,
'vhose curiosity induced him to examine the superscription of
the letter just deposited by the little fellow. The address on
the letter was simply, " To my dear Grandmother, Louisiana;"
doubtless some good old lady, whose memory, in the mind of
her innocent grandchild, was redolent of cake and candy,
aad all the various " goodies" which grandmothers are generally
so ready to supply, to say nothing of the various well meant
offices of kindness, to which their sometimes blind affection
prompts them. " Look here, my little man," said the clerk,
C what is your grandmother's name, and where does she live?"
"Why, she's my grandma, and she lives in Louisiana."
" Yes, I see that on the letter, but it will never get to her
if her name isn't put on, and the place where she lives."
"Well, please put it on, sir."
"But I shall not know what her name is, unless you tell
me.")
" Why, sir, she's my grandma,-don't you know her? She
used to live at my house."
After the display of considerable ingenuity on the part of
the clerk, and a good deal of innocent evasion by the child,
the old lady's name and place of residence were finally ascertained, and added to the address; after which the little one
went on his way, rejoicing in the assurance given by the clerk
that now his " dear grandmother" would certainly receive the
important epistle from her darling.





THE DEAD LETTER.


341


IMPROPER INTERFERENCE.
A  letter was once sent from    the Dead Letter Office at
Washington, containing rail road scrip to a considerable
amount. The letter had been mailed in a Southern town, and
miscarried, and it was returned to the post master of that
town for delivery to the writer.    It so happened that the
writer of the epistle had failed in business, and on the arrival
of the letter the post master informed one of his creditors,
and an attachment was laid on the letter by the Sheriff.
The writer reported the case to the Department, when a
peremptory order was sent requiring the post master to return
the letter at once to the Dead Letter Office at Washington.
It was sent, and the return mail brought the post master's
dismissal from office and the appointment of his successor.
The post-office was worth $1200 a year, and the discharged
post master had abundance of time to count up the profits
that might have been made by acting up to the good old rule,
"Let every man mind his own business."
THE DEAD LETTER.
The following is contributed by " Dave," of the Columbus
(Ohio) post-office.
During my term of service at the General Delivery of this
office, it was my custom, upon receiving dead letters from
Washington City, to make a list of the names of the persons
to whom they were addressed, and stick it up in the lobby of
the office, with a notice, " Call for Dead Letters."
One day an elaborate specimen of Erin's sons, whose brawny
fist and broad shoulders seemed to denote a construction with
an eye single to American rail roads, lounged into the office,
and up to the board containing the aforesaid list. He looked
at it a moment and burst into tears. I spoke to him through
the window, and asked him what was the matter.
29 *





342


MICHAEL FLAHERTY.


" Oh! Mr. Post Master, I see ye have a daid letther for me.
I spect me sester in Ireland's daid, and it's not a wake since I
sint her a tin pound note to come to Ameriky wid-and kin
ye tell me how long she's bin daid, Mr. Post Master?'
I asked him his name, found the " letther," and after a
request from him to " rade it, sir, and rade it aisy if you
plaze," opened it and told him  not to cry; that his sister was
not dead, but that it was a letter written by himself and directed
to Michael Flaherty, BosToN, CHICAGO.
" And is Michael daid, Mr. Post Master?"
'No, I guess not," said I.
"Well, who is daid, sir?"
I explained to him that letters not taken from the office to
which they were addressed within a certain time, were sent to
what was called the Dead Letter Office at Washington City,
and from thence, if containing anything valuable, to the persons who wrote them.
" God bliss ye for that, sir, but Michael lives in Chicaga."
I told him I would not dispute that, but Boston and Chicago
were two distinct cities, and the letter was addressed to both,
and that Boston being the first named, it had been retained
there, and his friend had not received it.
" Sure and I thought Boston was in Chicaga I and that's
what ye call a daid letther, is it? Faith and I thought it was
Bridget and not the letther, was daid. Ye see, Mr. Post
Master, Michael he writ home to the ould folks that he lived
in Chicaga, that he had married a nice American lady, that
she was a sea-cook on a stameboat, and that they called her a
nager. So whin I started for Ameriky, the ould modder,
Michael's modder, she give me these illegant rings (the letter
contained a pair of ear-rings,) to give Michael's wife for a
prisint. When we landed at Boston, I wrote Michael the
letther, tould him I was going to Columbus to live, put on the
name-Michael Flaherty, Boston, Chicaga, and put it in the
post,-and sure here it is, and Michael's sea-cook nager





SHARP CORRESPONDENCE.


343


niver got it. Bad luck to the ship that fetched me to Boston,
Mr. Post Master."
After offering to " trate me for the trouble" he had caused
me, he left, and ever after, when he mailed a letter he brought
it to me to put on the address, " Because he didn't understand
these daid letthers."
SHARP CORRESPONDENCE.
One of the Peter Funk " Gift-Enterprise" firms in a large
city, sent a package of tickets to a post master in Maine, the
postage upon which was fifteen cents unpaid. They got the
following hard rap over the knuckles, from the indignant
official:" I herewith return your tickets.  You must be fools as well as
knaves, to suppose that I will aid you in swindling my neighbors,
and pay all the expenses myself."
To which he in a few days received the annexed   settler:"Sir,
"We perhaps owe you an apology for sending the parcel postage
unpaid.
As we infer from the phraseology of your note, that you are willing
to swindle your neighbors if we will pay all the expenses, please
give us your lowest terms on which you will act as our agent.
P. S. All communications shall be strictly confidential."
This note was promptly returned, with the following endorsement across its face, by the post master:" It seems you are not only fools and knaves, but blackguards also.
Ask my neighbors if they think I would " swindle" them either at my
own expense or that of any one else."
To which this answer came back by next mail:" We have inquired of your neighbors long ago, and that's the reason
we applied to you in the first instance."
Here follows the post master's final reply:" I acknowledge the corn. Send us your street and number, so that





344


TIHE IRISH HEART.


I can call on you when I come to the city, and I may conclude to
aid your "Enterprise."
But that was the last thing that the "Gift" gentleman
could think of doing.   In fact, secrecy as to his locality, was
quite essential in keeping out of the clutches of the Police.
THE IRISH HEART.
Many of the reading public will remember the sad accident
which occurred in Hartford, Conn., in the year 1853, when by
the bursting of a boiler connected with a car factory, several
of the workmen were killed. Among the killed were two
Irishmen, brothers, each of whom left a widow, with an infant
child. These men had been industrious and faithful toward
their employers, and kind in their own households, so that
when they were taken away in such a sudden and shocking
manner, their sorrowing widows felt a double stroke, in the
loss of affectionate hearts, and in the deprivation of many
of the comforts which the hand of affection had hitherto supplied.  Their little ones, too, required much of their attention, and often seriously interfered with their efforts to provide
for the daily wants of their desolate households.
About six months after the accident, the Hartford post
master received from the Department at Washington a " dead
letter," which had been written by these brothers to a female
relative in Ireland, enclosing a draft for ten pounds sterling,
to defray the expenses of her passage to America.
This anxiety on the part of these children of Erin who had
come to this land of promise, to furnish their relatives and
friends whom they had left behind, with the means of following them, is a striking manifestation of that ardent attachment
to home and its circle of loved ones, which leads them to
undergo every sacrifice in order to effect a reunion with those
for whose presence they long with irrepressible desires, as they
go about, "strangers in a strange land."     They have often





THE WIDOWS.


345


been known to submit to the severest privations for the sake
of bringing over a sister, a brother, or some other relative,
without whom    the family circle would be incomplete.     All
this is but one aspect of the "Irish heart," whose warmth of
affection and generous impulses should put to shame many,
who without their ardent unselfishness, coolly laugh at the
blunders and mal apropos speeches of its possessors, and
attribute that to shallowness, which is in truth but a sudden
and sometimes conflicting flow of ideas.    As the mad poet
McDonald Clark once wrote in an epigram on an editor who
had accused him of possessing " zigzag brains,"
"I can tell Johnny Lang, by way of a laugh,
Since he's dragged in my name to his pen-and-ink brawl,
That some people think it is better by half
To have brains that are 'zigzag,' than no brains at all!"
"By their worKs ye shall know them."     It is comparatively
easy to utter the language of affection, and to express a vast
deal of fine sentiment; and much of this spurious coin is
current in the world. But when one is seen denying himself
almost the necessaries of life, in order to accumulate a little
fund for the benefit of some one near to his heart, though far
away, we feel that there can be no deception here. Like the
widow's mite, it has the ring of pure gold.
The letter referred to, (which was sent back from Ireland
in consequence of some misdirection,) was full of kind feeling,
and manifested on the part of the writers a firm and simple trust
in the goodness of Providence. The post master sent word to
the widows that this letter was in his possession, and accordingly
was visited by the bereaved women, whose tears flowed fast as
they gazed upon the record which recalled so vividly the kindnesses of their departed husbands.    The little sum enclosed,
as they stated, was the result of the united efforts of the
two families, who cheerfully joined in this labor of love. How
many a recollection of unmurmuring self-denial, with the
hope that made it easy; how many a remembrance of bright





346


MY WIFE'S SISTER.


anticipations of the happiness to be enjoyed, when the beloved
one, for whose sake these efforts were made, should be received
within their family circle; how many such things must have
been brought to mind by the sight of the missive, so freighted
with affection and memories of the past!
The post master informed the widows that by returning the
draft to the office from which it was purchased, they might
obtain the money on it; but they replied that since it had
once been dedicated to an object sacred both to the departed
and their survivors, it must go back to Ireland, and fulfil its
mission.
So these poor stricken women, to whom ten pounds was a
large sum, (even larger than when the letter was first sent,)
and who much needed the comforts it would purchase, sent
back the draft, and have since had the happiness of meeting
their relative in America, and seeing the wishes of their husbands faithfully carried out.
This is but one of many constantly recurring instances of
generosity and devotion which come to the knowledge of post
masters; and while we have put on record some of the
blunders of an impulsive people, our sense of justice as well as
inclination, has prompted us to make public the foregoing
incidents, so forcibly illustrating the warm attachments that
grace the IRISH HEART.
MY WIFE'S SISTER.
The most ridiculous errors and omissions sometimes occur
on the part of persons applying to post masters for missing
letters. The following amusing correspondence will illustrate
this phase of post-office experience:New York, 29th Jan. 1855.
Post Master New York.
Dear Sir,
A week ago last Monday, I mailed two letters, both having enclo




MY WIFE'S SISTER.


347


sures, but of no intrinsic value, directed to my wife's sister in New
Haven, Conn., neither of which have ever reached their destination.
Very respectfully yours,
W.B.H.
The above letter was forwarded to the post master of New
Haven, after having been read by the New York post master.
It was soon returned with the following pertinent inquiries:--
Post Office, New Haven, Conn., Feb. 1, 1855.
Solus I?
Well, that is a fix! What is that name? Is it Jonathan or Wm. B.
Haskell, or Hershel? Who'd he marry? How many sisters did his
wife have? What were their names? Who are their friends and
relations in New Haven? Is the lady here on a visit? Or, like a careful
matron, has she come here to educate her children? Egad, I don't
know! My library is wofully deficient in genealogy, and I shall be
obliged to " give it up."  Who can tell me the name of "my wife's
sister?"
Yours truly,
L. A. T-----.
The New Haven post master's letter was then sent to Mr.
H., with the annexed note:Post Office, New York, Feb. 2, 1855.
Mr. Win. B. H----.
Dear Sir,
By direction of the post master, I forwarded your letter of inquiry
to the post master at New Haven.
He returns the letter to this office with a request that the name of
your "wife's sister" may be given to him, as he has been unable to
discover it, although possessed of a large library embracing many
works of a genealogical character. The P. M. at New Haven is
inclined to the belief that it will be difficult to find the letter sent to
his office, unless the name of the party addressed is given to him. In
this belief the P. M. at New York joins, and the two P. M.'s hold
concurrent opinions on this subject.
With all due apologies for the seemingly gross ignorance of the
post masters in this matter,
I am very respectfully
Your Obedient Servant,
WM. C-,
Secretary.





CHAPTER XXIII.


RESPONSIBILITY OF POST MASTERS.
CASES sometimes occur of the loss of letters apparently by
the carelessness of post masters or their clerks; and in view
of such cases, an important question arises; namely, to what
extent a post master is responsible for the consequences of
such carelessness?
The subject is not free from  difficulties.  In many cases it
would be hard to say what constitutes culpable carelessness.
It is common in country towns for persons to take from the
post-office the mail matter of their neighbors, especially when
they live at a distance from the office, as an act of accommodation to them; and many letters are thus safely delivered every
day.
Now should a valuable letter in this way come into the possession of some dishonest person, and be retained by him, it
would seem severe, if not unjust, to prosecute the post master
for the loss; since in committing it unawares to improper
hands, he did but act in accordance with ordinary usages,
countenanced by the community.
It would undoubtedly be a safer way of doing business, to
insist upon an order in every case where a letter is delivered
to any other person than the one to whom it is addressed, or
some one usually employed by him for this purpose. But the
country post master who should rigidly insist upon this rule,
(348)





DELIVERY OF LETTERS.


349


would receive "'more kicks than coppers" for his good intentions; and indeed, cases like the one supposed are few and far
between.
In cities, also, something like the following might and does
frequently happen. A person known to be in the employ of
another, comes to the post-office, and says he is sent by his
employer for his letters, and the clerk in attendance, believing
his statement, gives them to him. He robs the letters and
disappears. In this case, it hardly seems that the clerk was
guilty of a culpable degree of negligence.
Here is another instance of the manner in which a letter
may go to the wrong person, where the fault is not chargeable
to post-office employes. In the list of advertised letters, one
is found for John Smith. An individual calls for the letter,
claiming to be the identical John, and receives it; but a day
or two after the " Simon Pure" appears, and is indignant at
learning that his letter has already been appropriated, or that
the clerk knows nothing about it, having forgotten the circumstance. Of course the clerk, in such a case, might require
the supposed John Smith to identify the letter as far as was
possible, by mentioning the place from which he expected it;
but many supposable circumstances might destroy the conclusiveness of this evidence of identity, such as the acquaintance of the false John with the real one, and his knowledge
of the place whence he received most of his correspondence.
Besides, the real claimant might not. be able to tell where the
letter was mailed, for his correspondent might have written
from some other place than the one where he usually lived.
But it is needless to multiply instances. Those that we have
mentioned, and many others which will readily occur to the
reader, will suffice to show that the number of cases in which
a post master can justifiably be prosecuted, is very limited by
the nature of the circumstances.
On the other hand, a proper diligence requires of the post
master not only the obvious precaution of securing reliable
assistants, but a care in relation to the minutia of his office
30





350


A POST MASTER SUED.


which shall prevent the mislaying of letters, by carelessness
within, or their abstraction by theft from without.   The boxes
and delivery window should be so arranged as to render the
interior of the boxes inaccessible to outsiders, and of course no
one should be admitted within the enclosure, under any
ordinary circumstances.
I am aware that these hints are unnecessary to the great
body of post masters in this country; yet it can do no harm to
mention such things, as it appears by the following report that
post masters are sometimes held to answer before a court, for
the want of diligence in discharging the duties of their office.
The suit was brought in 1849, by Moses Christy of Waterbury, Vermont, against Rufus C. Smith, post master at that
place, for the loss of a letter containing fifty dollars, mailed at
Salisbury, Mass., Nov. 23, 1849, by Moses True, Jr.
Moses True, Jr., testified that he carried the letter to the
Salisbury post-office, and showed the money to the post master,
who counted it, and it was then enclosed in the letter, and
left with the post master, who testified that he mailed it in the
ordinary way, and forwarded it to Waterbury by the usual
course. The letter not being received by Christy, application
was made for it to the post master, but nothing could be found
of it. The post-bill, however, which accompanied it, was
found in the Waterbury office.
It was shown that a son of Christy and one other person
were in the habit of calling at the post-office for his letters;
but they both swore that they did not remember receiving the
letter in question, and that if it was taken out by either of
them, it was, in the absence of Christy, laid upon his desk or
placed in a private drawer.
It was further proved that the Waterbury office was kept in
a room about sixteen feet square, divided in the centre by the
boxes and a railing, which separated the part devoted to the
office business, from the portion appropriated to the use of the
public; that the boxes were so arranged that the box of Moses
Christy could easily be reached through the " delivery;" and





POINTS OF DEFENCE.


351


that persons were frequently allowed to pass behind or near
one end of the counter within the enclosure, to transact
business with the post master.
There was no evidence to show that any persons, other than
the office assistants, were permitted to go behind the railing at
the time the letter in question arrived at the office.
It appeared that the post master employed several persons
as assistants in the Summer and Autumn of 1849, but there
was no evidence to show that any of these persons were regularly appointed and sworn. It further appeared by Christy's
postage account, that one or two letters were charged to him
on the 24th of November, 1849, and he produced four or five
letters, which, by the ordinary course of the mails, would have
been received on that day.
We here copy from "Vermont Reports," Vol. 8, p. 663:The defendant requested the Court to charge the jury as follows:1. That the defendant does not in any manner stand as an insurer in
relation to the business of his office, and is only held to ordinary diligence in the discharge of the duties of his office, and can only be made
liable for losses occasioned by a want of such diligence, and that the
burden of proof is upon the plaintiff, to establish the fact of the want
of such diligence. 2. That in order to establish the fact of want of
ordinary diligence, the plaintiff must show some particular act of
negligence in relation to the letter in question, and that the loss was
the direct consequence of the particular negligence proved. 3. That
although there may have been official misconduct on the part of the
defendant, yet unless it be shown that the plaintiff's loss was the
result of such misconduct, he cannot recover. 4. That if the letter
were by mistake delivered to the wrong person, stolen by a stranger,
or embezzled by a clerk, the defendant is not liable, unless he has
been negligent, and the loss was the direct consequence of his negligence. 5. That it is not sufficient, to entitle the plaintiff to recover,
merely to show that a letter was received at the office, and that the
person to whom it was directed has not received it. 6. That the
post master is not liable for the negligence of his deputies, unless he
is guilty of negligence in appointing wholly unsuitable persons. 7.
That the defendant being a public officer, he would not be liable in
an action of trover, unless, at the time the letter was called for, he





352


THE VERDICT.


had the letter in his possession or control, and withheld it, or had
actually appropriated the letter, or money, to his own use.
The Court charged the jury in accordance with all the foregoing
requests, except the second and sixth. In relation to the second
request the Court charged the jury, that it was not necessary, in order
to enable the plaintiff to recover, that he should show a particular
act of negligence in relation to the letter in question; but that, if the
plaintiff had shown a general want of common care and diligence on
the part of the defendant, either in the construction of his places of
deposit for letters, so that they were unsafe, or in the management
of the post-office, in permitting persons to go behind the railing who
had no legal right to go there, and had also satisfied them that the
letter and money in question were lost in consequence of such negligence or misconduct of the defendant, then the defendant should be
liable. In reference to the sixth request the Court charged the jury,
that as there was no proof that any of the persons who were employed
by defendant in the office had ever been appointed or sworn as
assistants, they were to be regarded as mere clerks, or servants of
the defendant, and that if, through negligence or want of common
care and diligence on the part of such clerks or servants, the money
and letters were lost, the defendant would be liable therefor
Verdict for plaintiff. Exceptions by defendant.
The decision was sustained in the Supreme Court.
If the report of the above case shall have the effect to
render any class of post masters more careful of the custody
of correspondence, and in the general management of their
offices, the object of its insertion will have been answered.





CHAPTER XXIV.


OFFICIAL COURTESY, ETC.
THE post-office clerk who fails to do his duty thoroughly, is
like a light-house keeper, who now and then allows his light
to go out, or become dim. Sometimes no harm may result;
but it may be that the helmsman of some gallant ship laden
with precious goods, and far more precious lives, seeing no light
to direct him through the angry storm, steers blindly onward,
and is wrecked upon the very spot whence the guiding star
should have beamed.
Not only is it the duty of those connected with post-offices to
exercise the utmost carefulness and exactness, in order that mail
matter may promptly reach the persons for whom it is intended,
but sometimes much caution and discretion are required from
them, that letters may not fall into hands for which they were
not designed.
There are other qualifications scarcely less desirable for
post-office employes than exactness and caution. Patience and
courtesy toward the various individuals constituting that
public which it is the duty of these officials to serve, go very
far in carrying out the idea of the post-office,--that of being a
convenience to the community.
We have elsewhere shown that the life of a post-office clerk
is not passed upon a bed of roses, and we would here call his
attention to the truth that many annoyances must be expected
by him in the course of his experience. The ignorance and
30 *                                    (353)





354


POST OFFICE ANNOYANCES.


consequent pertinacity of those who apply for letters, frequently
try his patience to the utmost.
A person, for instance, anxiously expecting a letter, and
not understanding that the mail by which it would come
arrives only once a day, inquires at the office half a dozen
times on the same day, and it is not very wonderful that the
clerk in attendance should give short answers to the persevering applicant, or even omit to search for the letter. Yet, even
in a case like this, much allowance should be made for the
possible circumstances of the person in question. He may be
waiting for news from a sick child, or for some other information of the utmost importance to him, and it is surely hard
enough to be disappointed in such expectations, without being
obliged to suffer the additional pain of a harsh response.
Of course post-office clerks seldom know the peculiar circumstances of those who apply for letters; but the exercise of
patience and mildness toward all, would be sure to spare the
feelings of those who often rather need sympathy than rough
words.
Many who carry on little correspondence, and therefore have
little occasion to be informed respecting post-office matters in
general, often make blunders which are very annoying; but it
is to be remembered that those in charge of the post-office,
were employed for this, (among other things which contribute
to the perfection of this branch of public service,) namely, to
bear with all classes of correspondents, and to maintain a
uniform courtesy toward every one. This would render it
possible for even the most timid to approach the "delivery
window," without experiencing the sensation of looking into a
lion's den, as has sometimes (but I trust seldom) been the case.
On the other hand, it is reasonable that those who avail
themselves of the conveniences of the post-office, should take
pains to inform themselves on those points which it is necessary
they should know, in order to avoid giving inconvenience to
themselves, and unnecessary trouble to those appointed to
serve them.





DUPLWATE NAMES.


355


The times of opening and closing mails, and similar matters,
should be known, that the post-office may not bear the blame
due to negligence outside its walls.
Cases now and then occur, similar to the following, which
happened but a few years ago.
A letter came into the Windsor, Vermont, post-office, containing a draft on the Suffolk Bank for three hundred dollars,
and directed ' Johnson Clark, Windsor, Ct."       The "Ct.,"
however, was written so indistinctly as to resemble " Vt.;"
and as there was a person by the name of Johnson Clark (as
we shall call him) in the latter place, the letter was handed
to him.
When he looked at the post-mark, (that of a town some
twenty or thirty miles distant,) he remarked, "I can't imagine
who can have been writing to me from there," and after opening and reading it, he returned it to the post master, saying
that it was not for him.
But his honesty was only of a transient nature, for he could
not keep the money out of his thoughts, and he soon began to
think that he had been rather hasty in returning the letter,
when, for aught he knew, he could have retained its contents
with impunity.   For was not the letter directed to Johnson
Clark? And may not one take possession of a letter directed
to himself?
This course of thought and these queries were followed by
the determination to recover the letter, and appropriate the
contents.
Clark accordingly went to the post master the next day, and
stated that he had heard, the evening before, of the death of a
relative who had been living at the West, and who had left
him a small legacy, namely, the sum contained in the letter.
On the strength of these representations, the post master gave
him the document, without, so far as appears, making any
attempt to verify his statement. The inheritor of legacies
proceeded forthwith to the Bank in the village, and obtained
the money on the draft, endorsing it, as is customary. It only





356


CARELESS POST MASTER.


required his own name to be written, and where was the harm?
thought he.
A few days after this, the person who had written the letter
came to Windsor, Vt., having been informed by his correspondent at Windsor, Ct., that it had not reached him; and
thinking it possible that it might have gone astray.
On his arrival at the former place, he soon ascertained that
the Vermont Dromio had taken possession of his letter.
This worthy found that the name of Johnson Clark was not
a spell potent enough to protect him in the enjoyment of his
unrighteous gain. He was sent to the State Prison for two
years.
In this instance, the post master was clearly guilty of carelessness in allowing Clark to obtain the letter on the pretext
that he offered. As there was a well known town in Connecticut of the name of Windsor, prudence would have required a
closer examination of the address, after the letter was returned
by Clark. And the story by which Clark imposed upon him,
was sufficiently lame in some particulars to have called for a
closer investigation of its truth. If the post master had
'requested to be allowed to read that part of the letter which
referred to the pretended legacy, a refusal on the part of Clark
to permit it, would of course have created a strong suspicion
that he was playing a dishonest game, and would have justified
the post master in withholding the letter until further proof
could be obtained as to the identity of Johnson Clark with the
one for whom the epistle was designed.
Cases similar to the above are not unfrequent; and in all
such instances, those who rely on a name identical with that
of some other person, as a shield for attempted dishonesty,
have found their defence fail them in the hour of need.
The matter seems too plain to need elucidation; yet not a
few persons, equally compounded of folly and knavery, have
actually supposed that the possession of a name like that of
another man, would enable them to keep on the shady side of
the law in making free with his purse also,





PILLS AND ELIXIR.                   357
This accidental resemblance of name has often been used
for dishonest purposes in other ways than the one just described.
Snooks manufactures a patent medicine which is beginning
to obtain some celebrity, when some obscure Snooks starts up
with his pill, or elixir. The innocent public, ready to swallow
pills and stories bearing the name of Snooks, makes no distinction between the two personages; and the " original Jarley"
is compelled to share his honors and emoluments with his upstart namesake. Trickery like this can seldom be reached by
law, but the appropriator of the contents of a letter under circumstances like those above detailed, is dealt with like any
other kind of robbery.





CHAPTER XXV.


IMPORTANCE OF ACCURACY.
AFTER giving 4" outsiders" the share of blame which rightly
belongs to them for the delay, miscarrying, and loss of valuable
mail matter, a balance remains due to the post masters and
post-office clerks.
We have elsewhere expressed our views respecting dishonesty in these officials, and shall consequently confine our
present remarks principally to carelessness and other similar
faults, which can hardly be called crimes, but which often
produce effects as disastrous as those which are the result of
evil intention. These faults, indeed, differ only in degree from
what are' termed crimes; for neglect of duty, is on a small
scale, a species of dishonesty.
There is, perhaps, no situation in which a lack of promptness and accuracy in the transaction of business may be productive of so great evil, as in that of a post-office employ6.
Those engaged in ordinary branches of business have some
idea of the relative consequence of the matters about which
they are occupied from day to day.    They can generally know
what is the actual importance of any given transaction, so that,
if they are disposed to be negligent, they may, if they choose,
avoid incurring the guilt and blame which would follow unfaithfulness in great things.
But the post-office clerk seldom has the power of making such
q discrimination. The letter which is carelessly left over to.
(358)





POCKETING THE POSTAGE.


359


day, may go to-morrow, but too late to save the credit of a
tottering house, or to render the instructions it may contain,
of any avail. In the rapid course of commercial transactions,
what is wisdom one day, may be folly the next, and thus it not
unfrequently happens that the best contrived plans may be
ruined by the delay or non-arrival of a letter.
The following instance will illustrate this.
Before the passage of the late Postal Treaty with Great
Britain, a clerk in one of our large cities was sent to the postoffice to mail a letter, containing an order for goods on an
English house. The clerk pocketed the twenty-four cents
which he had been intrusted with for the purpose of pre-paying the letter; therefore agreeably to the postal arrangements
then existing, it could not go by steamer, but was sent by a
sailing vessel.
Consequently the order was delayed, and therefore was not
executed as promptly as the firm sending it had expected;
and when the goods arrived they had fallen in value to such
an extent, that the firm in question incurred by the operation
a loss estimated at at least ten thousand dollars.





CHAPTER XXVI.


Post Masters as Directories-Novel Applications-The Butter Business.
A Thievish Family-" Clarinda" in a City-Decoying with Cheese
-Post Master's Response.
A Truant Husband-Woman's Instinct.
EDITORS are supposed by many to be walking encyclopedias,
with the record of the entire range of human knowledge
inscribed on the tablets of their brains; and there are those
who in like manner seem to consider post masters as living
Directories, able at short notice to inform any one who chooses
to ask, where Smith lives, and what business Jones is in, or
what is the price of guano, (an inquiry actually made by letter,
of a New York post master.)
In short, these Government officers are often called upon to
serve the public in a sphere which Congress never contemplated
in the various enactments it has passed respecting the duties of
post masters, and the details of the postal system.
A few specimens of letters received by different post masters,
may not be uninteresting, as illustrating this phase of postoffice life.
Here is one from an individual desirous of entering into a
mercantile transaction in the "botter" line, and receiving the
post master's endorsement of some good "commish marchan"
who could be interested in the business.
G-    -, Pennsylvania, January 29, 1855.
Postmaster will pleze to give this letter to a good Commish Marchan
(360)





A THIEVISH FAMILY.


what he could pay for fresh botter everry weak if a man would cent
a hundred up to 3 hundred paunts my intension is to go in sutch
bisnis You will plese rite me back to this present time.
Yours Respectful
J. S.
If the " fresh botter" was " cent everry weak," as was proposed, it must undoubtedly have been very much sought after,
as possessing the negative, but important merit of not being
strong.
Our next specimen was received by the post master of one
of the cities in Western New York, and is unique both as regards its object, and its orthography, or rather cacography,
which appears like " fonotipy" run mad.
North S-, Nov. 19, 1854.
Dear friend it is with plaisure that I take my pen in hand to inform
you of a famly moveing from this place the wider stacy and her to
girls they are poor and haf to work for their liveing clarinda is the
girl that workes the most from home mr sam shirtleff says that she
has worked for him and she stole pork and cheese and the pork hid
between the bed blankets and they found it and weid it and thaught a
rat had braught it there and the cheese she carid home with her they
sent to ladies there a visiting and sent a peic of cheese with them and
they got tea and had cheese uporn the table and they sliped a peice
of the cheese in thir laps and compard it togather and it was the same
cind it was a large inglich cheese that shirtleff bought she has also
worked to mr alford blax and his brother the old batchlor his mother
was old and generly done the niting she nit seventeen pare of socks
and layed them up for her boys when she got old and coldent nit no
more and they was all taken away by her to pare afterwords was
found at the store and she sed that she had took them they owed her
five dolars yet and they wont pay her till she delivers the socks and
she dare not make no fuss for fear they will bring her out she worked
to mr cringlands and she hooked a pare of white kid gloves and a
hym book and a pocket handkerchief and the gloves she traded away
to the store for a dress by giveing a pare of socks to boot and she
worked to truman buts this sumer she had taken a pare of stockin
which they found in her sunday bonet and they lost to shiling in
money and then they discharged her bengman grene bought a set of
31





362


DECOYING WITH CHEESE.


dishes and they lost to platters out of the set they lost sope and buter
out of their sular she borrowed of mister spicer a silver pen which
coast a doxar and after he was dead she denied haveing it and she told
it herself that she sold it for half a dolar and a pennife and the pennife
was fifty cents they borrowed a pale of wheat flour and when they
carid it home and put to thirds rie The pepole most look out for them
in the trincket line mr sir post master plese answer this as soon as
you can and oblidge your friend much yours with respect
Direct your leter silas stickney North S---, N. Y.
The zeal of Silas, if he was actuated by no sinister motives
-no spite toward " the wider stacy and her to girls," especially " clarinda," whose exploits form the burdon of his complaints-this zeal is highly commendable, and united with it
there is a fulness of specification in the catalogue of " clarinda's" misdemeanors which equals in richness and effect anything that even the fertile brain of Dickens could conceive.
The ingenious device of sending ladies to the suspected
domicil under color of a friendly visit, but provided with a
touchstone in the shape of " a peic of cheese," wherewith to
detect the other piece supposed to have been purloined by
some one of the thievish family, was worthy of a Vidocq; and
the triumphant issue of the case, when their worthy Committee
of Investigation "sliped a peic of cheese in their laps" and"
settled its identity with the "inglich cheese" which the victimized " shirtleff" had purchased, showed the power of genius,
attaining great ends by the use of simple means
This epistle developes a new ramification of the postal system. A post master entreated to act as a conservator of public
morals; to exert all his powerful influence against " clarinda,"
who proved treacherous to " mr sam     shirtleff" in the matter
of pork and cheese; and abstracted from " mr alford blax and
his brother the old batchlor, the seventeen pare of socks" that
their mother had " nit" to comfort their nether extremities
when she, by reason of the infirmities of age, " coldent nit;"
and filched " sope and buter" out of " bengman grenes sular;"
to say nothing of the " pare of stockin" which were secreted





POST MASTER'S RESPONSE.


363


in her " sunday bonet," and " to shilling," the loss of which
occasioned her discharge from the service of " truman buts."
Upon this unfortunate post master was thrown the charge
of seeing that the city received no detriment from the demoralizing influence of Clarinda!
This gentleman, not willing to be outdone by his correspondent in his devotion to the public good, indited the following reply:B--       Post-Office, Dec. 13, 1854.
Mr. Silas Stickney.
Dear Sir:
I am in receipt of yours of the 19th ult., and in reply would say
that I cannot too highly commend your solicitude in behalf of good
morals, and your discretion in selecting the post master of this place
to carry out your benevolent designs toward its inhabitants. The
corrupting influence of small villages upon large towns is a thing
much to be lamented, and it grieves me to think that the unsophisticated
inhabitants of this place are to be exposed to the machinations of the
"widow stacy and her to girls."  It will be, sir, like the Evil One
entering the garden of Eden, where all was innocence and purity!
If in the course of my official duties, I find it feasible to ward off
impending danger from this immaculate town, be assured that I shall
not fail to do so.
Yours, &c.,
W. D--, P. M.
But post masters are made confidants in graver matters than
these.  They are not unfrequently called upon by deserted
wives to look up their truant husbands, and by desolate husbands to aid them in recovering frail partners, who have been
unfaithful to their marriage vows, and have forsaken the
"guides of their youth."
Letters of this description are principally from -the more
illiterate class of community; yet amid the crooked chirography and bad spelling, there sparkles so much tender affection,
sometimes for the guilty one, sometimes for the innocent
children, who are suffering from the unprincipled conduct of
a parent, that these cases command the warmest sympathy of





WOMAN'9V INSTINCT.


those whose aid is invoked, although the requests thus made
relate to matters entirely out of their sphere, and consequently
they are seldom able to afford much assistance to the parties
in trouble.
I will here give an extract from this class of letters, as
illustrating the above remarks. The following is from a letter
received by the post master of a city in Ohio, from a woman
who had been deserted by her husband five years previous.
She requested the post master to read it to her husband, in
case he should find him, so it is written at the latter person.
In the postscript, (which is generally supposed to contain the
pith of female correspondence,) she says,"You would shed tears If you onley could see wat a smart peart
little boy you have hear what a sham It Is to think that A sensable
man should leave a wife and a child that Is got as much sense as he
has-and people say he is as much like you as he can be he has got
the pretys black eyes I have ever seen In any ones head he has an
eye like a hawk."
Thus is the argumentum ad 7Iominem supplied by woman's
instinct.  Fatherly pride was called upon to effect that to
which conjugal affection was inadequate.





CHAPTER XXVII.


A Windfall for Gossipers-Suit for Slander-Profit and Loss-The
Resuscitated Letter-Condemned Mail Bag-An Epistolary Rip
Van Winkle.
IN country villages, where few events happen to interrupt
the monotony of every day life, the occurrence of an out-ofthe-way incident is like seed sown in a fertile soil, producing
a fruitful crop of speculations and surmises, and affording food
for conversation for many a day to the eager gossip-hunters
who abound in such small places.
About thirty years ago, the quiet town of Lebanon, in the
State of Connecticut, was enlivened by one of these occurrences,
which brought a new influx of curiosity-mongers to the blacksmith's shop; covered all the barrels, boxes, and counters in
the store with eager disputants, and gave new life to the Sewing Society, and its auxiliary " tea-fights." The cause of this
unwonted moving of the waters, was on this wise:
Mr. Jonathan Little, a well known New York merchant,
while on a summer visit to Lebanon, his native place, mailed
at that office a letter directed to the firm of which he was a
member, and containing bank-notes to the amount of one
thousand dollars. The letter failing to arrive at its destination, and Special Agents being as yet unknown, Mr. Little
advertised in several papers, describing the money lost, and
offering a reward for its recovery. This, however, produced
31 *                                      (365)





366


PROFIT AND LOSS,


no results, and the tide of speculation and discussion rose to
its highest pitch.
The loss of the bewildering sum of one thousand dollars
naturally stimulated the imaginative powers of the Lebanonians, and, hurried away by his zeal, or perhaps by a wish to
appear sagacious, Mr. Roger Bailey, the brother of the Lebanon post master, while in conversation with several persons,
incautiously asserted that Amasa Hyde, the post master at
Franklin, (the next town to Lebanon on the route to New
York,) had taken the letter, adding, "H He's just such a fellow."
The by-standers were rather astonished at this bold charge,
impeaching as it did the integrity of a man whose character
had always been above suspicion.     That "bird of the air"
which is always ready to " carry the matter," soon diffused the
information that Amasa Hyde was supposed to be the delinquent. This gentleman being indisposed to leave his reputation at the mercy of "thousand-tongued Rumor," which
personage could not easily be brought before a jury, instituted
inquiries for the purpose of discovering the originator of these
injurious reports. He succeeded in tracing them to their
source, and sued the unwary Bailey for slander.    Mr. B., by
the verdict of the jury, was compelled to pay some seven hundred dollars and costs, for the pleasure of expressing his
opinion.
This, however, is but an episode in the history of the lost
letter. After a while the excitement died away, and Mr.
Little found it necessary to place the thousand dollars to the
account of " Profit and Loss," especially the latter.
The theory was once advanced by an acute genius, and applied to the case of a tea-kettle inadvertently dropped into the
ocean, that "a thing isn't lost when you know where it is."
But the subject in hand seems to show that a thing isn't
always lost, if you don't know where it is. For, about two years
after the occurrences above mentioned, the missing letter came
to light with all its valuable contents. And this resuscitation





AN EPISTOLARY RIP VAN WINKLE.               367
took place, not in Lebanon, nor in Franklin, but in the New
London post-office!
It appears that the mail bag which contained the letter, was
found, on its arrival at New London, so much worn as to be
unsafe, and was accordingly condemned by the post master
and thrown aside as useless, having first, of course, been
emptied of its contents, as was supposed. Two years subsequently, a quantity of old mail bags and other rubbish was
removed from the office, and the letter in question took the
opportunity to drop out, and return, an epistolary Rip Van
Winkle, to the world whence it had retired for so long a time.





CHAPTER XXVIII.


VALENTINES.
Their Origin-Degeneration-Immoral Influence-Incitement to Dishonesty.
WHO Saint Valentine was, is not much to the purpose in
this place. We will give him credit for having been, however,
a very excellent and highly respectable individual. We must
therefore utterly protest against the custom which has obtained
of late years, making him the tutelary Saint of innumerable
silly lovers, mean mischief-makers, and vulgar letter-writers
generally.
Unfortunately for the reputation of this inoffensive Bishop,
the day noted in the calendar as sacred to his blessed memory,
happens to be that on which, according to the auld-wives'
legends of Merrie England, there is a universal marrying and
giving in marriage among the feathered tribes. The Fourteenth of February seems rather bleak for a grand wedding
festival at which any birds but snow birds are expected to
attend; but we suppose we must respect the tradition.     It
seems early too for imitative lads and lasses, who should wait
until the warm spring approaches;
"When the South-wind in May days,
With a net of shining haze,
Silvers the horizon wall,
And with softness touches allTints the human countenance
With a color of romance;"
(368)





DEGENERATION OF VALENTINES.


369


and when all nature is bathed afresh in light and love, and
inspired with new life.
But, says a French writer, the divine faculty which distinguishes man from the brutes, is the capacity to drink when
he is not thirsty, and to make love at all seasons of the year.
Whether this "divine faculty" is a God-gift, or a perversion
and abuse, the legitimate fruit of the sad tree of knowledge
of good and evil, we will not stop to discuss. Man has it in
full exercise; and however the birds may grumble at being
obliged to hurry up their matrimonial cakes under the very
beard and brow of winter, Cupid will be found-like the
classical clothes-brusher and job-waiter -  "nunquam    non
paratus,"-always ready at your service.
The probability is that the human custom of choosing mates
about this time, is more ancient than the notion touching the
pairing of birds, and that the latter is a mere fable, suggested
by the former.     Some commentator on      Shakspeare has
traced it back "to a pagan custom of the same kind during
the Lupercalia feasts of Pan and Juno, celebrated in the
month of February by the Romans.       We are further told
that, the anniversary of St. Valentine happening in this
month, the pious promoters of Christianity placed this custom
under his patronage in order to indicate the notion of its
pagan origin." Unhappy St. Valentine! But we must remember that formerly there was something sweet and poetical
in the choosing of mates. Now we are thrilled with tender
emotions when poor Ophelia sings her
"Good morrow to St. Valentine's-day."
But somehow, romance dies out in our material age; and
beautiful superstitions give place either to cold practical knowledge, or degenerate into farcical caricatures. What a difference between the rapturous and bashful exchange of vows
pledged by the youth and maidens in good old times, before
reading and writing came in fashion, and the celebrated Valentine composed by the younger Mr. Weller! The vulgariza




370


CARICATURES.


tion of the custom  has been gradual.     Instead of the songsinging invitations to love, under cold windows,
", All in the morning betime,",overs began, in the course of human progress, to indite gentle
missives to their sweethearts, and     to   receive  autograph
replies. This improved method was eagerly adopted by all
such as dared not give verbal utterance to their sweet passion,
as well as by those who had private malice to vent, and
sneaking insults to offer. Then arose the manufacture and
--merchandise of Valentines, which has of late become so important a branch of industry.
From early in February until late in March, our toy shops and
periodical and fancy " depots" appear to traffic mainly in these
exceptionable articles. Their windows flame with the vulgar
trash.  On every corner "Valentines!" "Valentines!" stare
us in the face.  Some are very choice and costly; we see now
and then one inlaid in a rich casket, and prized at twenty-five
or even fifty dollars. Others are made of fine fancy paper,
adorned with flowers in water colors, or prettily filigreed;
with a scroll in the center for the verses expressive of the
sender's sentiments.
But the softer heads that indulge in these expensive trifles,
are comparatively few. A cheaper luxury satisfies our economical sentimentalists. All kinds of coarsely ornamented notepaper, and large square awkward envelopes, find their ready
patrons. Every taste is suited, from the sickliest fastidiousness, to the most clownish ambition for flashy colors and tawdry
designs.
In opposition to the sentimental Valentines, we have the
gross caricatures which have done more than anything else of
this kind to disgust the common sense and good taste of community. It would seem that only the most vulgar minds could
be attracted by these; yet the large traffic in them shows that
vulgarity is an extensive element in the popular character.
No matter how indelicate and disgusting one of these specimens





THE DENTIST.


871


of low invention may be, some fool will be found to purchase
it, and send it to another individual whom he either wishes to
insult or expects to amuse.
In this way all sorts of printed immoralities obtain circulation. In this way cowards take revenge for imaginary slights
or dignified rejections. In this way, for about two or three
weeks in each year, some altogether harmless and well-meaning
people have been subjected to gross annoyances and serious
taxes for postage. Thanks to the law-makers, the advance
pay requisition will hereafter put a stop to that species of
petty swindling.
Year after year the same foolish figures and senseless mottos
are forwarded from the same simpletons to the same victims.
We know a musician who for three successive seasons has
received that witched caricature, representing a shape"If shape it could be called that shape had none,-"
all nose and moustache, blowing a trombone considerably larger
than himself.
Our dentist usually enjoys a visit from a caricature suited to
his profession-a tooth-drawer with his little head in a vast
chasm representing a young lady's mouth. He has learned to
expect it; he good-naturedly looks for it, about Valentine's
day; and merely opening it when it comes, to see that it is the
right one, he quietly tosses it into the fire.
This Valentine sending is a custom    like that of a certain
drunken revel once popular in Denmark,-" More honored in
the breach than in the observance."     It is ignored by good
society. And as for the victimized, it is a mark of common
sense to bestow every Valentine into the grate, unopened, as
soon as received.
It is estimated that not less than half a million of these
worse than worthless missives pass through the post-offices annually. The cost to the parties purchasing them, forms an aggregate of about $200,000. Over and above this expense is the
postage, which is sometimes double, triple, or even four or





372


IMMORAL TENDENCY.


five times the ordinary rates of single letter postage.  Formerly many were unpaid, and often persons to whom they were
addressed, indignantly refused to take them from the office.
Thus were the mails not only uselessly encumbered with the
vile trash, but quantities of the "rejected addresses" were
subjected to the formality of visiting the Dead Letter Office,
where they finally met with that destruction they so clearly
merited. This abuse of the post-office privileges is unworthy
of any nation above the capacity of monkeys.
The immoralities circulated and encouraged by Valentines
cannot be estimated.    Statistics would fail to arrive at the
amount of vice engendered by this pernicious breed. One of
the worst evils that owe their origin to this cause, is the temptation laid in the way of post-office clerks. A Valentine is often
the first provocation to crime. Numerous instances have come
under the observation of the writer, in which persons convicted of robbing the mails, trace back their transgressions to
no more serious a fault than that of peeping into one of these
silly missives. They are often carelessly sealed, and easily
opened by third parties without discovery.
Imagine a young man intrusted with the care of a village
post-office.  He is interested in Miss A.     He believes she
encourages his sentiments. He hopes her proud father will
some day encourage him as an eligible suitor for his daughter's
hand. Still he is subject to desponding and jealous doubts.
And when, one evening in the middle of February, a Valentine addressed to his paragon strikes his eye as he is assorting
the mails, an indescribable pang shoots through his heart. He
wonders who sent it.   Tom Bellows is at first suspected, but
the handwriting differs from Tom's. "Can it be Robert Cartwright?" says the distressed clerk.   " He is partial to Miss
A., and she seems pleased with him. What can he be writing
to her?"
Such thoughts perplex the young man's brain. The Valentine is not taken from the office that evening; and when all is
quiet, he draws it once more out of the box, and again ex




CONSCIENCE OVERPOWERED.


373


amines the superscription. It is certainly Cartwright's writing.
"0 dear!" sighs the clerk, "how easy I could open it, and
nobody know it!" Aching with curiosity, but calling moral
principle and self-denial to his aid, he returns the missive to the
box, and goes to bed. But sleep is out of the question. Ile
is awake, thinking about the Valentine, and those supposed to
be immediately interested therein.   "I wonder if I could
open it!" he says to himself.  " I've half a mind to try."
He gets up, strikes a light, and a moment later the, Valentine is in his hand.  "If it comes open," says he,   I'll seal
it again without reading it. I only want to see if it can be
done without having it show afterwards." Instantly he starts
back.   The Valentine is open! Really, he did not mean to
do it; it came open so much easier than he expected! Although it is night, and he is alone, he cannot help looking
over his shoulder to assure himself that the grim individual
watching him, exists only in his imagination. C "Well," thinks
he, " it's done, and who knows it? What's the harm, as long
as I'm going to seal it up again?-and after all, I don't see
that it will be much worse just to see if there is any name to
it, provided I don't read the rest."
Thus excusing himself, he profanes the sacred interior of
the missive, and finds the suspicious signature-" Robert."
Trembling at the temptation to read more, he hastily folds
the sheet, and returns it to the envelope. But the next moment it is out again, and he is reading with flushed cheek and
burning eye, the tender words that Robert C. has written to
Miss A.
"c All this hath a little dashed his spirits;" and he returns
to bed feverish and restless. In spite of his reason, which
keeps saying stoutly, "what's the harm? nobody will know
it," he suffers greatly in conscience. But the Valentine is
taken from the office, and the profanation of its mystery remains unsuspected. And in a few days another Valentine
appears, addressed to Robert Cartwright. The hand-writing,
32





374


INCITEMENT TO DISHONESTY.


although disguised, is alarmingly like Miss A.'s.      By this
time the clerk's jealousy has eaten up his conscience.
" There's no more harm    in opening two than in opening
one," whispers the devil in his ear.
" I believe you," says the clerk; " but I may yet be found
out."'
" No danger," says the devil; " only be careful."
He is too ready to adopt the suggestion. He is excusable,
he thinks, under the circumstances. The Valentine is accordingly opened and read.     Deliberation and forethought add
gravity to the offence. The clerk has unconsciously blunted
his moral perceptions, and weakened his moral strength; and
he is now prepared to open regular letters passing through his
hands. At first it is jealousy and rivalry that tempt his curiosity.  Then other matters of interest entice him, until one
day he discovers, in no little consternation, that he has thrust
his fingers into a nest of bank-notes!
" Well, after all," says he, "Mr. B. is rich; he won't mind
the loss; it's only a trifle with him.  While to me, the sum
is considerable.  If I don't keep up appearances with Bob
Cartwright, I might as well be out of the world. I've a right
to live; and destroying this letter and appropriating its contents, is just nothing at all, if I don't get found out.   But
I'm safe enough-I'm the very last person to be suspected."
The career of this young man need not be traced further.
Nor need the subject of Valentines be pursued. We have
written enough to show that they are the offspring of weak
sentimentalism or foolish buffoonery; an encumbrance to the
mails, an annoyance to those who receive them, a tax to all
parties, and a temptation to post-office clerks; and withal, imbecilities and immoralities which all worthy citizens should
take every occasion to discountenance, and banish from civilized society.





CHAPTEIR XXIX.


THE CLAIRVOYANT DISCOVERY.
A sTORT time after the detection of the New Haven mail
robber, a gentleman from the town of W. called upon the
post master at Hartford, to say that he had some weeks since
mailed a letter at the post-office in the town where he resided,
addressed to a firm in Hartford; and containing a sum of
money, and that the letter had never been received.
On examining his records, the post master ascertained that
no bill had been received from the office where the letter was
mailed corresponding with the date of the mailing, and that
consequently the letter, so far as his records could show, had
never reached his office.
As the time of this loss happened at the period when the
mail robber was committing depredations from day to day,
and as the post-bill was missing, the Hartford post master expressed the opinion that the letter had very probably fallen
into the hands of the mail robber, although New Haven was
off the route on which the letter should go, and the package
of letters could not have got there without having been missent.
This theory was entirely unsatisfactory to the gentleman
who mailed the letter, and he left Hartford with the conviction that he would be compelled to endure the loss of his
money with such philosophy as he could summon to his aid.
But hope soon succeeds fear, as daylight follows darkness,
(375)





376


A POST MASTER PUZZLED.


and before many days the gentleman in search of his money
again called at the post-office in Hartford, that being the important port in his voyage of discovery.
It was very evident that his mind was somewhat " exercised," and the ominous tone in which he requested the post
master to meet him immediately, at room     No. -     at the
hotel where his name was entered, made it clear that a revelation of no slight importance was about to be made.
The post master told him he would accompany him immediately, and started with his eager friend for the appointed
place. During their walk nothing was said on the great subject-matter, probably because it was deemed too solemn in its
nature to be broached amid the bustle and jar of a crowded
street.
The hotel was soon reached, and the communicator of the
" latest intelligence" ascended the stairs to the room where
the gentleman accompanying him would be called on to listen
to the disclosures about to be made, and take such action
thereon as circumstances might seem to require.
After pointing solemnly to a chair, declaring by such dumb
show that he desired the post master to be seated, and then
taking a chair himself and sitting thereon so as to face the
person with whom he was conversing, he deliberately asked"Do you believe in clairvoyance?"
What an unexpected question! And how should such a
question be noticed? Certain it was that among all the laws
in relation to the Post-Office Department, ancd the rules and
regulations for its government, minute and circumstantial as
they were, not one word could be found instructing the officers
of this branch of Government what they should do in the
matter of clairvoyance. Even Ben Franklin himself, who
was "par excellence" the electrical Post Master General, had
never issued an order bearing on this subtle subject. And
here, in this hotel room, where, at a great many different times,
a great many different kinds of spirits had entered a great
many different kinds of persons, this official in a great busi




CURIOSITY SHOP.


877


ness Department, dealing constantly with the practicalities of
life, and without law, rules, or regulations to tell him what he
should do in the emergency, was met with the question proposed, in a sepulchral voice,-" Do you believe in clairvoyance?"
Was it his duty to discuss with the questioner the "Odic
force," and " Biology" and "Psychology," and all the other
theories connected with the doctrines of spiritualism? Must
post masters be also masters of mental science, and of things
in heaven and earth never dreamed of in the philosophy of
the great mass of mankind?    Because they have to deal with
the transmission of intelligence to different parts of the earth,
must they also take charge of intelligence coming from unknown regions, " out of space, out of time?"
The question, however, was before him, and the post master
replied that he had heard of some strange things connected
with clairvoyance.
Seemingly satisfied with this reply, the gentleman went on
to say that he had been very anxious to know what had become of his letter, and had therefore consulted a clairvoyant.
Some locations are blessed with a gifted seer, or more generally seeress, whose mind at inspired intervals is a complete
"curiosity shop" of the universe-who can tell the whereabouts of a lost thimble or teaspoon, who can inform the
anxious inquirer who committed the last murder, and who can
describe to eager listeners the manner in which people conduct voiceless conversation in Saturn, and how they fight in
Mars, and how they make love in Venus. Or the gifted one,
descending rapidly to earth, can prescribe a remedy for any
ill that flesh is heir to,-and all these wonders are performed
for a moderate pecuniary compensation, and with the praiseworthy object of aiding and enlightening " suffering humanity."
Our inquiring friend was so fortunate as to reside in one of
these localities, and his mission to the post master was that of
rehearsing the discoveries of the Priestess.
32 *





378


WHISKERS AND JEWELRY.


He stated that the information given by the clairvoyant
lady was so minute and distinct as to leave a strong impression
of its truthfulness on his mind. That she traced the letter
from the time it was put in the office-saw it placed in the
mail bag, saw the bag taken from the office, saw every station
where it stopped-saw it taken into the Hartford office-saw
it opened there, saw a clerk take the letter, open it, and on
finding that it contained a number of bank-bills, put said letter in a drawer of his, and then lock the drawer.
Farther than this, the Seeress declared that said clerk wore
large whiskers, and a large gold ring, and that he resided in
Front Street.
In addition to these facts the lady declared that the letter
thus opened, with the bills still in it, was yet remaining in the
locked drawer of the delinquent clerk.
Having carefully repeated this train of circumstantial evidence, pointing so distinctly to a certain culprit, the gentleman
then commenced interrogating the head of the Hartford postoffice:
" Have you, sir," said he, " a clerk in your employment
who wears whiskers?"
The witness was compelled, on the part of some of his
clerks at least, to plead guilty to this first count in the indictment from an invisible Grand Jury.      As whiskers are not an
expensive article of luxury, even post-office clerks can afford
to wear them.
"Have you," continued the counsel for the unknown prosecutor, "a clerk who wears large whiskers and a large gold
ring?"   -
The reply to this query was not equally satisfactory, for the
witness averred that his clerks were decidedly not given to jewelry; and as to gold, they felt that they could invest it more
usefully than in the purchase of mammoth finger-rings.
"Have you," continued the pertinacious querist, "a clerk
who lives in Front Street?"
Here again the answer was not gratifying, for the witness





THE SPIRITS AT FAULT.


379


declared that to the best of his knowledge, no clerk of his had,
whether with or without whiskers, or whether with or without
a stupendous finger-ring, made Front Street illustrious by
residing therein.
Notwithstanding the discrepancy, the gentleman went on
with his inquiries:"' Have you a clerk in your employment who has a drawer
of which he keeps the key?"
The reply to this question was such as to meet the wishes
of the querist, and he was told that there was more than one
such clerk in his office.
'Then," said the gentleman, "I demand that you have
those drawers opened, and their contents examined!"
Notwithstanding the urgent desire of the person who had
reposed such confidence in the revelations of the female
informer, the post master peremptorily declined to take a single step implying a doubt as to the integrity of his clerks, on
the mere strength of clairvoyant testimony.
Argument was in vain, and the disappointed letter seeker
left Hartford, thinking in all probability that General Pierce
would have done better to have given the charge of the office
there to some person more willing to accommodate the public!
Some time after this, the Special Agent met the post masters of New Haven and Hartford, in pursuance of instructions
from the Department, for the purpose of distributing the funds
taken from the depredator, among those who had lost by the
robberies.
On examining the money found on the person of the robber,
there were discovered the seven bank-bills, all of one denomination, lost by our clairvoyant-seeking friend! The bills not
only agreed with his description, but, what made the case still
stronger, was the fact that no other bills of the same denomination and bank were claimed by any other party.
How it was that "the Spirits" gave the distinguished
seeress such a complete tissue of falsehoods, will probably
remain unknown until the " new philosophy" becomes better





380              FACTS AGAINST THEORY.
understood, or until the Spirit of Franklin, who it is said presides over communications from the upper spheres, appoints
some Special Agent to investigate the causes of failure.
The gentleman who unexpectedly regained his money, may
still entertain his old affection for clairvoyance, but he cannot
deny that the poet was right when he exclaimed,
"Optics sharp it needs, I ween,
To see what is not to be seen."





CHAPTER XXX.


POETICAL AND HUMOROUS ADDRESSES UPON LETTERS.
THE exterior, as well as the interior of a letter is sometimes
made the vehicle of sentiment, affection, wit, fun, and the
like, which, thus riding as outside passengers, display their
beauties to the gaze of those connected with post-offices. In
such instances, it may be that the writer's ideas, gushing from
his pen, have overflowed their bounds, and spread themselves
upon the usually dry surface of the epistle. It must be a
pleasing relief to post-office clerks, wearied with the monotonous task of turning up innumerable names, to find the flowers
of fancy and imagination supplanting the endless catalogue of
Smiths and Browns which ordinarily meet their eyes. Below
are a few specimens of these embellished addresses.
The first is probably from some home-sick miner. It was
mailed at San Francisco, California. His wife and children
have no doubt derived, long ere this, the pleasure which he
anticipated for them, in the perusal of the letter:Go, sheet, and carry all my heart;
(I would that thou couldst carry me,)
Freighted with love thou wilt depart
Across the land, across the sea.
O'er thee will bend a loving face,
To thee will listen little ears;
Thou wilt be welcomed in my place,
And thou wilt bring both smiles and tears.
(381)





382


OUTSIDE RHYMES.


Across the land, across the sea,
Thy homeward course thou wilt pursue,
I may not see them welcome thee,
Yet know I well their hearts are true.
Then swiftly go, thou ocean steed;
Roll on, ye rapid iron wheels,
Bearing away, with careless speed,
The message that my soul reveals.
The address followed, in plain prose.
Rail road, steamboats, horses, stages,
All of you are paid your wages,
All of you, for nothing better
Than to take this little letter.
Should the document miscarry,
Uncle Sam will see "old Harry!"
To prevent this dread collision,
I present unto your vision
State, county, and between, the town,
Indiana, Nashville, Brown.
For Mrs. Jane Eliza Brent,
This is enough,-now "let her went."
Here is a specimen in a less elevated strain:Robber, shouldst thou seize this letter,
Break it not; there's nothing in't,
Nought for which thou wouldst be better:
Note of bank, or coin from mint.
There is nothing but affection,
And perhaps a little news;
When you've read this, on reflection,
Take or leave it as you choose.
If you should conclude to leave it,
I would like to have it go
To Seth Jones, who will receive it
In the town we call Glasgow,
And the state of old Kentucky,
(There's no rhyme for that but "lucky.")





OUTSIDE RHYMES.


383


The following seems to have been the superscription to a
dun, written " more in sorrow than in anger."
A hard old hoss is Charley Cross,
And I don't care who knows it;
He's borrowed an X, and never expects
I'll dun him, so he goes it.
He'll find he's mistaken, and won't save his bacon,
Unless he sends me the tin:
In the city of Penn, somewhere is his den;
I can't tell what state he is in.
Perhaps he's "slewed," or may be, pursued
By some other man he owes,
Whichever it is, when this meets his phiz,
My account he had better close.
The street and number were subjoined; but it is to be
feared that the "old hoss" proved hard-bitted, and would
have nothing to do with C" checks," except those in his favor.
Post master dear,
I greatly fear
That this letter never will go
To him I write,
Unless to your signt
The name I plainly show.
'Tis Thomas Brown,
The name of his town
Is Hartford; the county the same,
Land of steady habits,
Famed for onions and rabbits,
The place whence once I came.
This is apparently an outpouring of the sorrows of a victim
to the Maine law, and was mailed in that state:Oh John O'Brien, half of you is better than the whole,
For that would be a Demi-John, my sorrow to console.
Oh dear O'Brien, briny tears into my whiskers roll,
To think that you live in New York, while here is not a soul
To stand treat; or in other words, to "pass the flowing bowl."





384


OUTSIDE RHYMES.


All flesh is grass: all paper's rags,
(So it is said by wicked wags.)
But I would like to pass along
Among th' epistolary throng,
Till I reach the town of Kent
Nor to a paper mill be sent,
And come to an untimely end,
Before I find my writer's friend;
Whose name is Putnam, or Sam Put,
In the old State Connecticut.
This is going to my tailor,
A trust-worthy man is he;
Like a clock, for ever ticking,
He keeps his account with me.
To send my bill I here request him
For the br-ches he has made:
Thanks to good old uncle Samuel,
He must send it on pre-paid.
(The address was in prose.)
When you C this letter,
You'd better letter B.
For it is going over
Unto Tom McG.
In the town of Dover,
State of Tennessee.
Address on a Valentine:
Mr. Post Master, keep this well,
for every line is going to tell
how much I love my Bill Martell,
Syracuse, N. Y.
I want this letter to go right straight
To Wilmington city in Delaware State,
To Daniel B. Woodard, a cooper by trade;
He can make as good barrels as ever were made.





OUTSIDE RHYMES.


385


Swiftly hasten, Postman's organ,
Bear this onward to its fate,
In New York to George C. Morgan;
John Street, No. 78.
East 10th Street, City of New York,
Two hundred fifty-threeIs where of all this little work,
This moment ought to be.
And could I to the lightning's wing
Or telegraphic wire,
Attach it by a silken string,
'Twould be my fond desire.
But since to do the swift exploit
Each other power must fail,
I send to Emily Bailey Hoyt,
With pleasure-in the mail.
I know a man, his name is Dunn!
He lives in splendid style:
But if he'd pay-say half his debts,
He'd lose 'bout all his "pile."
He stops in Charlestown, old Bay State,
Quite near to Bunker Hill,
Where many a brave man met his fate,
Dispensing Putnam Pill.
A VALENTINE ADDRESS.
Lizzie, they say the little birds
Are making matches now;
(Warranted to keep in any climate.)
A good example they have set
Which I would like to follow;
So if you have a heart to let,
I hope to know to-morrow.


33





386


OUTSIDE RHYMES.


On the river Hudson,
In the town of Troy,
Lives Miss Sarah Judson
Full of life and joy.
'Tis for that sweet creature
This epistle's meant;
If it does but reach her,
I shall be content.
The following address was found on a missive which passed
through the New York office on or about the 14th of February, and was secured with a seal representing Cupid taking
aim at one of his victims with a revolver:
Cupid's mother has supplied him
With " six shooters" for his bow;
When he'd arrows I defied him;
Now, alas! he's laid me low.
Here I send, done up in paper,
Fanny May, my heart to you.
I think you will keep it safer
Than I've done,-so now adieu.
The town and state were in prose.
Send this, Post Master, if you are willing,
To John M. P--, a darned old villain.
Let it go without Postage Bounty,
To Union Valley, Cortland County.
Take me along in haste I pray,
To John O'Donnel without delay.
The postage is paid, there is no excuse
If I'm not delivered at Syracuse.
Let nought impede thy progress,
While on thy journey going,
And quickly may'st thou be received,
By John, or Pardon Bowen,
Albany, N. ).





ODD SUPERSCRIPTIONS.


887


Miss Kate May,
Somewhere in New York City.
I hope to goodness she will receive
this missive.
John M. Simpson, Dedham,
Mill Village,
Mass.
in care of John Lee,
the man that speaks through
his nose or with the crucket foot.
For Nevel Kelly, Degrau St.,
next shanty to the river in the rear
of the grave-stone yard,
Brooklyn, N. Y.
New Haven, post-office
State of Connecticut
Brown Street
Number 58
For elen Rumford
under care of mister allen
And if the main law folks up there don't like the name of Rumford
i can't help it.
for
Brigded Livingston no 16 post
office city Hartford, State of
Cannada or three-ways to No 39
America.
To Thos. Walsh              362 3rd Avenue
or if not there                 (New York
To the care of                      America
Jerrimiah O Droyer-No-173
South street South Troy New York
To be forwarded
To Mary Dohorty            (For Thos. Walsh
(in haste America





388


ODD SUPERSCRIPTIONS.


To Mr. Leedfara, who runs the ferry
over across to Long Island for Mary
Maguire New York.
Mistress Crovor Keeps
a stand in the
hutson dippo-New York
lives in reed street.
Direct this letter to
815 Second floor
Back room for Kate
Barrey washington street
New York
in heast.
To the Lady that wears a white cloak Straw
Bonnett trimmed with Blue & wears a blue
veil, brown or striped dress
No - Bleeker street
New York.
To Don Tom Rigan
and Monseer BirchTo New York city straight let this 'ere letter go
Right to der corner of der Bowery and Grand
Into Jim Story's place which every one must know
Onto I forgot his name's old oyester stand.
The blades it's intended for are hearty and frisky,
You'll find backe of der bar, where yer give dis letter.
The postman may find himself a cocktail der better.
P. 0. No 9 Albany Street
Boston State of Mass for Michael
Ryan tailor and if he do not
live here i expect that the
Person who will live here will
forward this letter to him
if they chance to know
where he live.





ODD SUPERSCRIPTIONS.


389


Mister John Shane
Syracuse
No 152 Salina Street
your parents are here,
and state New York city
North America.
William Doger Syracuse
Corner of James and Warren
street undago county state
of new york-americacare for John Burk or
Jeremiah Burk paid
or Else where
The American Girl who
wants a place, 329 Sixth
Avenue, up two flights of
Stairs, Back Room.
Thadeus M. Guerai Esqr.
son of Pat Guerai, Late Manager
of the Devon estate, County
Limerick Ireland, and husband
of Sarah Coburn Harding;
Niece of Major Harding
of Harding Grove, County
Limerick IrelandCare of B. Douglass & Co.
Charlestown
S. C.


33*





CHAPTER XXXI.


ORIGIN OF THE MAIL COACH SERVICE.
THE greatest improvement in the English mail service,
during the eighteenth century, was the introduction of mail
coaches. This was brought about by the energy and perseverance of JOHN PALMER, EsQ. Like most of those who
introduce great improvements, he was an " outsider," one unacquainted by business habits and associations, with the postal
service.
At that time (about 1783) stage coaches, with passengers,
traversed the country over all the principal roads, and ran
from five to seven miles an hour. The mails, however, had
never had any better conveyance than that of a horse or a gig,
managed by a man or boy. The whole mail service was on a
most irregular footing; mail robberies were frequent, and the
speed did not average over three and a half miles an hour.
Mr. Palmer's plan was, to have the mails transferred to the
stage coaches, that the swiftest conveyance which the country
afforded should carry the mails. For so obvious an improvement, we would suppose that there would be little or no opposition. Parliamentary Committees were appointed, Post Masters General reported, and all the officials were against it!
Statesmen took it up; the proposition was debated in Parliament; and, after many years of persevering labor, Mr. Palmer
saw his plan adopted.
But opposition did not end here. There were more reports
(390)





KEEN SARCASM.


391


against it, and those who opposed at first from ignorance, and
a belief that no improvement would result, now kept up their
opposition from a dread of being thought false prophets. But
there were those who appreciated the improvement, and Mr.
Palmer got a pension from Government of three thousand
pounds a year for life, and afterwards a grant of fifty thousand
pounds, for the benefit his improvement in the mail service
had been to the revenue of the country.
We have, from    a well known post-office reformer,* a nice
piece of sarcasm for the special benefit of those who oppose
great improvements, and then deny their value after they have
been adopted and proved.
A report from the English Post Master General says: C From
a comparison of the gross produce of inland postage for four
months, and from every other comparison they have been able
to make, they were perfectly satisfied that the revenue has
been very considerably decreased by the plan of mail coaches."
This report gives the opinions of the Lords of the Treasury, and enlarges on the innumerable inconveniences which
the change had occasioned. The great post-office reformer,
forty years after this, makes the following comment:" Heavy must be the responsibility on those who thus
persisted in folly and mischief; and wonderful is it that Mr.
Palmer should have been able to beguile the Government and
the legislature into sanctioning his mad career! Who was the
statesman, unworthy of the name, that thus gave the rein to
audacity; that thus became, in his besotted ignorance, the
tool of presumption?   Who stood god-father to the vile abortion, and insisted on the admission of the hideous and deformed monster into the sacred precincts of Lombard Street,
the seat of perfection?    His name--alas! that the lynx
should be guided by the mole! that Samson should be seduced by Delilah! Palinurus allured by a dream!-his name
was WILLIAM PITT."
* Rowland Hill, Esq.





CHAPTER XXXII.


EVASION OF THE POST-OFFICE LAWS.
BEFORE the adoption of the present rates of postage, much
ingenuity was displayed in making newspapers the vehicles of
such information as should legitimately have been conveyed
by letters. Various devices were employed to effect this
object.
As the law strictly prohibited writing upon papers, requiring
that such newspapers should be charged with letter postage,
the problem was, to convey information by their means without infringing the letter of the law.
Sometimes a sentence or a paragraph was selected, some of
the letters of which were crossed out in such a manner that
the letters left legible conveyed the meaning which the operator intended. By such transmuting process, pugnacious
editorials were converted into epistles of the mildest and most
affectionate description, and public news of an important character not unfrequently contracted into a channel for the conveyance of domestic intelligence.
As the constructions of the law on this subject, by the
officers of the Department, became more and more stringent,
the most amusing and ingenious inventions to get beyond their
reach were resorted to.
For instance, marking an advertisement or other notice, with
a pen or pencil, having been declared a violation of law, attention was sometimes called to such notices, by cutting round
them on three sides, thus making a sort of flap, and doubling
(392)





CHILDREN AWL WELL.


393


it back on the side left uncut. In one case, which now occurs
to the author, a notice served in that way, thus producing a
hole in the paper, had the strikingly appropriate caption of
" A good Opening!"
The vacancy produced in the paper, in such a case, of course
attracted the attention of the person who received it, and that
advertisement was sure to be read, if no other.
Hieroglyphics were sometimes employed for conveying contraband ideas. The following will answer as a specimen of
this class of attempted evasions. It was neatly drawn on the
margin of a newspaper which came to a Western post-office,
from a town in New England.
The meaning will of course be readily understood by the
reader-" Children all well!"
Such specimens of the fine arts are seldom attempted under
the present low rates of postage, as the saviag of two cents
would hardly pay for the required time or labor. But there
are those even now-a-days, who, for that paltry consideration,
are found willing to compromise their consciences, if indeed
they have any, by resorting to some of the less laborious
methods, in attempting to carry out their prudential designs.





CHAPTER XXXIII.


POST OFFICE PAUL PRYS.
LEGISLATIVE enactments have been found no less necessary, to defend the sacredness of private correspondence from
the prying eye of curiosity, than from the plundering hand of
dishonesty.
There are many who would recoil from the thought of robbing a letter of its pecuniary contents, but feel no compunction at violating its secrecy for the sake of indulging an idle
or a malicious inquisitiveness, if the commission of the deed
can be concealed.    This may not be called a common evil,
and yet it exists; and it is one against which Acts of Congress have been levelled almost in vain, for there is perhaps
hardly any portion of the laws of that body relative to the
protection of correspondence, through the mails, about which
there is felt so great a degree of security.
This violation of the first principles of decency and propriety, not unfrequently leads to results more disastrous than
those which are caused even by robbery itself. The person,
too, who indulges himself in this disgraceful practice, cannot
be sure that he will always keep clear of more serious misdemeanors. He who pries into letters for one purpose, may be
led to pry into them for another. When one has become accustomed to tampering with letter seals, he has broken through
a powerful restraint to crime, and has laid himself yet more
open to the assaults of temptation.
(394)





PRYINGTON POST-OFFICE.


395


Sometimes a state of things exists in a neighborhood which
clearly shows that some unauthorized person is acquainted with
the contents of many of the letters passing-through the postoffice, before the rightful owners have received them. Secrets
of the utmost importance are suddenly blazed abroad, and
those of less consequence are used to inflict much annoyance
upon the persons whom they concern. Those in charge of the
post-office become the objects of suspicion, and the inhabitants of the infected district, if they are unable to obtain positive proof of unlawful meddling with their correspondence,
at least show, by their endeavors to prevent their letters from
going through the dangerous channel, that they have lost their
confidence in the integrity of the post master, or of his assistants.
For instance,-Farmer Haycroft's daughter had settled the
preliminaries of a treaty of the most tender description with
a young gentleman of a neighboring city, though without the
knowledge and contrary to the wishes of the parental potentates on both sides. Their happiness, it is clear, depended on
preserving their secret inviolate. Should it come to the ears
of their " potent, grave, and reverend Seniors," a storm   of
wrath might be expected like that which is seen when two
clouds, heavily charged, unite in pouring out their burden of
lightning, wind, and rain.
Therefore, in order to avoid such a consummation, interviews were not risked, as being too hazardous, but a correspondence was carried on under fictitious names.
Much solicitude was felt by the inquisitive matron who presided over the Pryington Post-Office, to know who " Elizabeth Greene" (the nom de guerre of the Haycroftian damsel) could be. So she cross-questioned the boy who inquired
for letters for the aforesaid Elizabeth, but he was decidedly
non-committal. And, as a last resort, she sent her servantmaid to follow   the unwary messenger, and see where he
went.   She returned with the exciting intelligence that Jane





396


A SECRET TEST.


Haycroft met him and received from his hands the letter which
the boy had just taken from the office.
This information but aggravated the thirst for knowledge
which raged in the breast of the post mistress, and she inwardly resolved that she would in some way unravel the mystery that lurked under the name of "c Elizabeth Greene."
The town was shortly after astonished with the news of the
proposed "match," and as the post-office dame was not supposed to deal in clairvoyance, the inference was natural that
some less creditable but more certain method had been adopted to bring the important fact to light.
The detection of supposed guilt in cases of this kind was
formerly very difficult, and heretofore the Special Agents had
rather undertake the investigation of a dozen cases of mail
robbery than to attempt to unearth one of these moles, working under ground, and gnawing at the roots of their neighbor's reputation and happiness. For these Paul Prys generally leave but few traces behind them by which they may be
ferreted out, however strong the grounds of suspicion may be.
Tests have been devised, however, by which these dealers
in contraband knowledge may be unerringly pointed out and
detected in their contemptible occupation. A letter may be
opened, read, and resealed never so carefully, yet by means of
these tests the opening can be satisfactorily proved, and the
opener brought to justice, at least so far as a removal from
office can answer the ends of punishment.
A knowledge of this secret plan - rests solely with the Post
Master General and his Special Agents, and it can only be
communicated to the latter under the most positive injunctions
of secrecy. It will be applied in all cases where there is reasonable ground for believing that correspondence has been
tampered with.
The legal penalty for this offence is five hundred dollars
fine, and imprisonment for twelve months.





CHAPTER XOXXIV


SPECIAL AGENTS.
THE institution of SpeciaLAgents did not originate in this
country.   At a comparatively early period it constituted a
part of the British postal system, and these Agents are termed
" Post-Office Surveyors."  This corps of officials has ever been
considered by the English Government one of the most important adjuncts of the Post-Office Department.
In the early history of the Department in our own country
persons were occasionally employed, in cases of emergency, to
act as its representatives, and to exercise temporary supervision over some of the various branches of the mail service;
but the Special Agent system, as it now       exists, was first
organized in the year 1840, while the Hon. Amos Kendall was
at the head of the Department.
The number of Special Agents in the United States has
been gradually increased since their first establishment, and is
now eighteen, suitably distributed throughout the country,
each one having a district assigned him as the particular field
of his operations, but to act elsewhere if so ordered.
It is not the intention to enter into an argument for the
purpose of proving the usefulness of this branch of the Department.   If this has not been shown by the facts recorded
in the former part of this volume, as well as by the many prominent and familiar cases all over the country, which have
been so successfully conducted by other members of the corps,
834                                      (397)





398


THE " TROJAN HORSE."


it would be in vain to attempt it now. I would only say a few
words respecting the power of this system, to prevent crime.
There are some persons in the world of firm principles and
unbending rectitude, who need not the aid of outward circumstances for the maintenance of an upright character. But
perhaps the majority of mankind require some external helps
in the way of restraints, from public opinion, and even the
threatenings of the law. On such the fear of detection frequently acts in a most salutary manner, deterring from the
commission of crime, and sometimes leading to a higher motive for right conduct than apprehension of punishment.
In more than one instance, after the conclusion of some
important case of depredation, I have been informed that
money-letters, passing upon other routes than the ones under
suspicion, and even at a considerable distance, have been regarded with a reverence never felt for them before. A portly
envelope was considered a sort of Trojan horse, filled with the
elements of destruction, ready to overwhelm the explorer of
its treacherous recesses. This extraordinary caution was owing,
of course, to the knowledge (which often gets out in spite of
the utmost endeavors to prevent it) that the Special Agent
was abroad; and when once a person has been thoroughly impressed with the danger of tampering with the forbidden
thing, he does not soon nor easily yield to the whisperings of
the tempter.
The duties of a Special Agent of the Post-Office Department involve a constant and vigilant supervision of all its
interests. This embraces a much wider range of action, and
requires much higher qualifications on the part of those who
undertake it, than any simply "detective" service. It is
believed that neither Congress nor the public generally attach
such a degree of importance to the office in question as it
really possesses, both in itself and in the estimation of the
Department. This is perhaps owing to the fact that so great
a proportion of its duties have of late been connected with the
investigation of cases of depredation upon the mails. This





IMPORTANCE OF CAUTION.


399


has given the corps of Special Agents the apparent character
of mere " detective officers," while in truth they are much
more than this.
The qualifications which a Special Agent should possess
are numerous and diverse; some, indeed, not often found in
connection with one another. A high degree of shrewdness
and tact is required, in order to estimate probabilities rightly,
and to pursue investigations in such a way as to avoid attracting attention or exciting alarm. And an essential pre-requisite to success is a good knowledge of human nature.        To
calculate beforehand with correctness what a given person
will do under certain circumstances, and thus to anticipate his
movements, and make him subservient to the execution of
your plans; to vary the mode of approach to suspected persons, according to the combinations of circumstances and the
shades of character existing in the case in hand; to do all
this, and much more of a like description, demands no small
knowledge of the workings of the human mind.
It is comparatively an easy matter to follow up a mail robber when once upon his track, (though there is often nicety
even in this,) but to collect the scattered rays of suspicion and
conjecture, and to bring them together into one focus, throwing its revealing glare upon the criminal, requires a higher
order of intellect than any after operations. And the caution
which is always necessary in the conducting of these cases, in
order to secure a successful result, is called for not only for
the sake of detecting the guilty, but in order that the innocent may not suffer blame.
It often happens that circumstances of the strongest kind
indicate the guilt of some person, who, notwithstanding, is
entirely free from all connection with the crime. Never, perhaps, is a stronger temptation to hasty and indiscreet procedures offered than by such a state of things.   Yet he who is
guided by discretion, is not led away by the dazzling hope of
immediate success in his investigation, but, aware how fallacious are sometimes the strongest appearances, he considers





400


THOUGHTLESS CURIOSITY.


the question before him with coolness and deliberation, fully
conscious of the priceless value of character, and reluctant to
make any movement that might unjustly throw a shadow
upon it.
From the nature of their employment, Special Agents are
constantly brought in contact with the most intelligent and
prominent men in the community, who justly expect to find
the Post-Office Department represented by men of gentlemanly bearing, fair education, correct deportment, and sound
discretion.  The absence of any of these qualities, especially
of all of them, would lower the standing of the Department
with those whose good opinion is most valuable, and would
naturally cause speculations on the reasons why persons so
deficient in the qualities necessary to make them acceptable to
people of discernment, should have been appointed to such a
responsible post.
It would hardly be just to hold the Department responsible
for the existence of all such evils, as there is always danger
that the influence and diplomacy of politicians may be used
for the purpose of securing appointments to persons who are
unfit for them.  If the time ever comes when politicians shall
act upon truly patriotic principles, then we may reasonably
expect that the appointing of subordinate officers of this Department will be left to those in whose power the law has
placed it, undisturbed by pressure from without.
The duties of a Special Agent are often made more difficult
by the thoughtlessness or curiosity of those whom he meets in
the course of his official business. The maintenance of secrecy
is absolutely necessary to much success in his plans. It is
perfectly obvious that the measures taken to detect a rogue
should be concealed from him, and it is generally no less important that he should not know that any one is on his track.
The public at large, however, seem to think themselves at
liberty to inquire of an Agent all about his plans; where he
is going, whom he is in pursuit of, and any other matters that
uuriosity may suggest.   Often have I been saluted, on enter




LIFE INSURANCE DODGE.


401


ing an omnibus or a railroad car, with the question, 1" Well,
---, who has been robbing the mails now?" thus making
the person of the Agent known to all within hearing, and perhaps to some from whom it were very desirable to keep such
knowledge.    I received a similar salutation once from    a
thoughtless acquaintance, in the presence of a delinquent
post-office clerk whom I was watching, and to whom I was before unknown.
In country places, also, Agents are often brought to their
wit's end for answers to the questions proposed, which shall
be satisfactory to the querist, and keep within the bounds of
truth. Sometimes they find themselves compelled, in anticipation of this annoying curiosity, to take refuge in a mercantile character, inquiring the price of butter, and other " produce." At other times, with parental solicitude, they inform
themselves of the comparative merits of different boardingschools; or they, in pursuance of their own policy, discuss
policies of " Life Insurance." I was once indebted to the
system alluded to for my escape from the fangs of an inquisitive landlord. In the investigations of the case then in hand,
it was of the utmost importance that the presence of an Agent
of the Department, on that route, should not be known. So
when mine host commenced his inquiries, I informed him that
I had thought of delivering a lecture on Life Insurance, and
asked him whether he supposed that an audience could be got
together in the village. He appeared very much interested
in the matter, and offered to guarantee at least five hundred
hearers for the proposed lecture. One evening, while I was
in my room employed in preparing decoy letters, he called
upon some errand, and, observing me at work among some
papers, he said:
" Ah, at work on your lecture, are you? Well, I won't disturb you."
We went so far as to make some arrangements for the printing of hand-bills, &c., but the mental illumination which the
inhabitants of the village had in prospect, was extinguished
834*





402               AN ERRONEOUS IDEA.
by my disappearance, accompanied by a culprit, whom it was
more important to secure than even an " audience of five
hundred." During the examination of the criminal, my
worthy host inquired of me, with a sagacious wink, how the
"Life Insurance" business flourished?
It may not be out of place here to allude to an erroneous
idea respecting the powers of Special Agents, which prevails
to some extent, namely, that the Agents are permitted by the
Department to open letters addressed to other persons, where
the interests of justice seem to require it. This is contrary
to the truth. An Agent has no more power or right than any
other person to open letters not belonging to him, for whatever purpose he may wish to do so. Should he see fit to break
a seal, he does it at his own responsibility. The law makes
no exceptions in his favor. And the Department cannot confer this power of opening letters, because no such power has
been given it. The Post Master General is as accountable to
the laws as any private citizen.





CHAPTER XXXV.


ROUTE AGENTS.
THIS is the designation of a very useful and indispensable
class of officials, who were hardly known to the service in this
country previous to the year 1839. Their introduction appears to have been contemporaneous with the employment of
railroads for the transportation of the U. S. mails, and a necessary consequence of the adoption of this mode of conveyance.
The number of these Agents has been progressively increased in proportion with the extension of railroads, and
they are now employed upon nearly all these roads in this
country, as well as upon many of the steamboats which carry
the mails.
Since 1847, they have increased as follows:In 1848 there were  47
1849  "    "    61
1850  "    "   100
1851  "    "   127
1852  "    "   209
1854  "    "   260
1855  "    "   295
By the terms of contract with each railroad company, it is
required to furnish a suitable car for the use of the mail or
Route Agent when so requested by the Department. The
(403)





404


ROUTE AGENTS' DUTIES.


Agent occupies this traveling post-office, or mail car, receives
and delivers mails along the route; assorts, and gives the
proper direction to all mail matter passing through his hands;
mails such letters, prepaid by stamps, as are handed him, and
accompanies the mails in their transit between the post-office
and the railroad station or steamboat, at the terminus of the
route.
It is too often the case that persons of influence, in proposing a candidate for this responsible post, greatly undervalue
the nature and importance of the duties to be performed, supposing that they involve merely the mechanical labor of delivering mail bags at the different post-office stations upon the
route.  The fact is, that the successful working of our postal
machinery depends in no small degree upon the active, faithful, and intelligent discharge of the Route Agents' duties. In
New England especially, and perhaps in some other sections
of the country, a very large proportion of the correspondence
passes through the hands of these officials, at some stage in
its progress.
Much care, and a thorough knowledge of the topography
of the sections of the country through which the route lies,
as well as that of more distant portions, are therefore required
for giving letter and other packages a direction by which they
will reach their destination in the shortest possible time. And
that essential preliminary, the ascertaining where a given package is to go, is a matter not always easy of accomplishment.
For the most skilful interpreters of the species of chirography
known as " quail tracks," are often taxed to their utmost
capacity of learning and experience, in the endeavor to decipher the outside addresses of packages which they are required to " distribute" without loss of time.
Furthermore, in consequence of the improvements constantly progressing in many parts of the country, and the
frequent changes in railroad, steamboat, and stage connections,
resulting from that and other causes, what would be correct
" distribution" one day, might not be so the next. The old





ABUSE OF A PRIVILEGE.


405


adage, "The longest way round is the shortest way home," is
often literally true in the sending of mail matter, for steam
occupies less time in accomplishing a circuitous route of a
hundred miles, than horses in passing over a direct one of
twenty.
On the other hand, it sometimes happens that a long route
by stage should be adopted, instead of a short one by railroad,
owing to a want of the proper railroad connections.
When all these demands upon the vigilance and ability of
the Route Agent are exercised, it will be obvious that it would
be difficult to estimate the amount of injury that the public
might receive from the employment of a careless, inefficient,
or illiterate person in this position.
Among the Post Master General's instructions to Route
Agents is one requiring them to receive and mail all letters
written after the closing of the mail at the places where the
writers reside, and before its departure.    This privilegeintended solely for the accommodation of those who are pre.
vented by unavoidable circumstances from depositing their
letters in the post-office-has of late been used, or rather
abused, to a degree never dreamed of by the Department.
This abuse, in many cases, has proceeded to an extent which
would seem to warrant the withholding of the privilege.
Tardy and indolent correspondents, who can save a few steps
by taking their letters to a mail car or steamboat, instead of
to the proper place of deposit, a post-office, find the hard,
worked Route Agent an invention admirably calculated to
facilitate the indulgence of their lazy habits, and do not
scruple to avail themselves of the opportunity to the utmost
extent.
There is also a numerous class who entertain feelings of hostility toward their post master for various reasons; not unfrequently from the failure of their own attempts or those of
their friends to obtain the office which he holds. These persons show their resentment by withholding their mail matter
from the post-office, and thus cheating the incumbent out of





406


APPEAL TO THE PUBLIC.


his lawful commissions. In carrying out this plan, they make
the Route Agent an innocent accessory, by placing all their
correspondence in his car just before the departure of the
train, thus unnecessarily increasing his labor for the sake of
gratifying their own malice.
Another class, fully persuaded of the truth of the principle that "seeing is believing," and unwilling to trust in anything less reliable than their own eyes, deposit their letters
with the Agent rather than in the post-office, in order to avoid
the innumerable perils which might beset them in their passage from the custody of the post master to that of the Agent!
These cautious persons are not satisfied without ocular demonstration of the departure of their letters, so that if the letters
should fail to reach their destination, they would still have the
pleasing consciousness that they had done all in their power to
avoid such a catastrophe.
Still another class confide their letters to the Route Agent,
from a belief that letters, especially valuable ones, will thus
go forward more safely and expeditiously. But this is an
incorrect idea, for in the first place the pressure of other indispensable duties, such as receiving, assorting, and delivering
mails, may occupy so much of the Agent's time that he will
find it impossible to mail all the letters handed him, in which
case they would often suffer at least a day's delay.     And as
to the supposed additional safety of money-letters, when sent
in this way, it may be remarked that in case of a serious collision happening to the train while the letters were still loose,
the chances of their loss from destruction or theft, would be
much greater than if they were properly secured in a locked
mail-pouch.    Important losses have occurred in this way, and
of course they may happen at any time.
In behalf of the Route Agents, whose duties, at best, are
sufficiently arduous, the public are earnestly requested to exercise the privilege referred to only in accordance with its
original intention, namely, in reference to letters which cannot
with due diligence be mailed in the ordinary way.





A STRICT CONSTRUCTIONIST.


407


Another important regulation contained in the Route
Agents' instructions, is that which forbids the admission within the mail car of any one except those officially connected
with the Department. The strict enforcement of this rule is
well for all concerned, and should be cheerfully acquiesced in
by the railroad companies and the public at large.
Nor should its application in individual cases be construed,
as has sometimes been done, into a distrust of the honor or
honesty of the person refused admittance. It is done simply
in pursuance of a wholesome and reasonable requirement, and
with the view to confine responsibility to those upon whom it
is placed by the Department, and to guard against hindrances
to the faithful and accurate discharge of their duty.
The faithfulness of one of the Route Agents, in respect to
a compliance with Instructions, was a few years since tested
by the Post Master General in person, who happened to be
travelling incog., so far as those on that train were concerned.
Just as the cars were about to leave one of the stations,
Judge HALL, then Post Master General, presented himself at
the door of the mail apartment, when the following conversation occurred:Post Master General.-Good morning, sir; I would like a
seat in your car to avoid the dust.
Agent.-Well, I would like to accommodate you, but you
see what my Instructions say, (at the same time pointing to
the printed Circular posted up in the car, with the signature
of "N. K. HALL" attached.)
P. M. General.-Yes, that is all well enough, but Mr. Hall
probably did not mean to exclude honorable gentlemen who
would not interfere with the mails, or annoy you with conversation.
Agent.-(Scanning the person      of his unknown visiter
pretty closely)-Suppose he didn't, what evidence have I
that you are an honorable gentleman? Besides, I am a strict
constructionist, and the order says no person is allowed here
except those connected with the Department.





408                A NARROW ESCAPE.
Judge Hall insisted upon staying, however, and deliberately took a seat in the only chair on the premises. Whereupon the Agent proceeded to call the baggage-master to assist
in forcibly ejecting this persevering customer; and be certainly would have gone out, had he not without loss of time
presented his card to the incensed Agent, just in time to prevent so ludicrous a denouement.
He was warmly commended for his faithfulness, and highly
enjoyed the visit of his distinguished guest during the remainder of his stay.





CHAPTER XXXVI.


DECOY LETTERS.
THOSE who may have perused the preceding pages of this
work, will require no further comment on the nature and
utility of decoy letters. But as some persons are met with
who, without much reflection, condemn their use under all circumstances, it may be well to offer a few remarks in defence
of this practice.
It is very clear that decoy letters can never injure honest
men. These missives trouble no one who does not unlawfully
meddle with them, and it can hardly be claimed that they
offer any greater temptations to the dishonestly inclined than
any other class of money-letters. It is of course impossible
for any one to distinguish between a decoy letter and a genuine
one, and he who faithfully discharges his duties in reference
to other letters, will never find out by his own personal experience, that there are such things as decoys.
It should not be forgotten that these devices are employed
for the public good, and that the security of a vast amount of
property, as well as the removal of unjust suspicion, often
depends upon the detection of some delinquent post-office
employ6. In such a case, it would surely be foolishly fastidious to object to the adoption of a method of effecting the
desired  end, which    accurately distinguishes between the
innocent and the guilty, and which does injustice to no one.
In the defence of criminals tried in the United States
3o5                                      3409'





410


A LEGAL DECISION.


Courts, for mail robbery, whose detection has been effected by
means of decoy letters, especially in cases where there seems
to be no other ground of defence, it is frequently insisted on
very eloquently, that as the law of Congress on this subject
provides against the embezzlement of letters "intended to be
conveyed by post," no offence is committed by the purloining
of decoys, inasmuch as this class of epistles are not bond fide
letters, and are not intended to be conveyed in the mail,
within the true intent and meaning of the statute.
This position has been overthrown, however, as often as it
has been assumed, and it is believed that the decisions on this
point, of all the United States Judges before whom the question has been raised, have been uniform throughout the country.
In a recent important trial in the city of New York, before
his Honor Judge BETTS, the decoy system received a severe
hetchelling from the learned counsel for the prisoner, and
after the evidence had been laid before the jury, the Court
was asked to dismiss the case and the culprit, on the ground
that the offence provided against in the twenty-first section 6f
the Act of 1825, had not been committed.
But his Honor took a very different view of the matter, as
will appear by the following extract from his decision:Judge Betts remarked to the jury that the facts upon which the
indictment is found being uncontroverted, the question of the prisoner's guilt depends solely upon points of law.
When facts are ascertained, it is the province of the Court to determine whether they come within the provisions of the law sought to be
applied to them; and, although in criminal cases the jury gives a
general answer, covering both the law and fact, to the inquiry whether
the accused is guilty or not guilty, it is not to be supposed they will,
in a case resting wholly upon a question of law, render a verdict in
opposition to the instructions of the Court. The defence of the
accused assumes that the twenty-first section above recited, in order
to a conviction under it, demands affirmative proof from the prosecution that the letters were intended to be conveyed by post, according to
their address: And it is urged that such proof not being made, but
on the contrary, the evidence being that the writer of the letters did





POLICY OF THE STATUTE.


411


not intend they should be so delivered, but meant to take them out of
the mail himself, to prevent their delivery, if they were not embezzled
in the office in this city, the acts done by the accused are no offence
under the statute.
I think that construction of the statute cannot be maintained in
respect to letters actually in the mail, and especially in this case,
where the letters had been conveyed by post and came into this office
by the mail from other offices.
It is a presumption of law, and not a matter of proof, that letters
so circumstanced, were intended to be conveyed by post. The question of intention is no longer referable to the private purpose of the
writer, whatever might be the fact when letters are given to persons
employed in the Post-Office Department, out of the office, for the purpose of being put into it or conveyed by mail.
When, however, a letter already in the mail is purloined, (1 McLean
R. 504; 2 Id. 434,) or is embezzled by a carrier on the route, (1 Curtis
I. 367,) it is, in judgment of law, intended to be conveyed by post,
within the meaning of the statute, and the private purpose and intention of the person who put it in the mail, is in no way material, and
need not be proved.
Nor indeed, if the accused can prove, or it is made to appear upon
the evidence of the prosecution, that the letter was placed in the mail
or came into a post-office, prepared and intended as a decoy, and was
not intrusted to the mail in the way of bona fide correspondence, is
the criminality of taking it thereby absolved: even if the evidence
advances another stage, and shows that the decoy was aimed at and
intended for the particular person caught by it, (The United States v.
Laurence, 2 McLean R. 441; The United States v. Foye, 1 Curtis R.
307-8.)
These decisions enforce the manifest policy of the statute. The
post-office establishment, and the enactments maintaining the security
of its action and the fidelity of persons employed in it, compose a
great national measure, and the laws governing and protecting it are
to be construed so as to subserve the public good, and not with a view
to what might be a reasonable rule in transactions between individuals.
But I apprehend that even in individual transactions, the agents of a
bank, a merchant's clerk, or a domestic servant could not protect themselves against a criminal or civil charge of appropriating the effects
of their employers, by proof that the property had been placed within
their reach by its owner, in distrust of their honesty, and for the
purpose of testing it.





4.12                DEFENCE OF) DECOYS.
The method adopted by the Department to detect offenders under
this law, does not appear to me objectionable in the point of view
pressed by the counsel for the accused. No further temptation or
facility to the commission of the offence is thereby placed before such
offenders than must necessarily be presented in the daily business of
their trusts.  These packages were in every respect the same in
appearance, and with only the same indications of enclosing money,
as oridinary letters by which remittances are made. And it seems to
me when it comes to be understood by persons handling such packages
in the mail or destined for it, that a watchful eye may be following
each package from office to office, and noticing everything done to it,
that the apprehension of such supervision may act almost with the
force of a religious consciousness of accountability, in awing wicked
purposes and preventing criminal actions.
I am persuaded that letters would rarely be intercepted in their
transmission by post, if every person concerned in mailing or carrying
them, could be impressed with the idea that each package enclosing
valuables, may be but a bait seeking to detect whoever may be dishonest enough to molest it, and to become a swift witness for his conviction and punishment.
The jury convicted the prisoner, and on the 29th day of December,
1854, he was sentenced to ten years' imprisonment.





SUPPLEMENTARY CHAPTER.


PRACTICAL INFORMATION.
THE design of the author, in the preparation of the present
volume, would be but imperfectly answered, were he to fail
to communicate that practical information which it is very desirable that the public at large should possess, both for their
own sake and that of those connected with the mail service.
For, an accurate knowledge of the requirements of the law
upon leading points, would obviate much of the disappointment and unpleasant feeling to which mistaken views on the
subject give rise. There are popular errors on many matters
connected with post-office regulations which are every day
causing trouble and vexation, and which can only be corrected
by presenting the facts as they are.
This information is not accessible to the public in general;
at least, it is out of the way, and is not kept before the people. The Department publishes, at irregular intervals, an
edition of its laws and regulations for the use of post masters,
each of whom is supplied with a copy; and this, with the exception of the ordinary newspaper record of the laws as they
are passed, is the only source of information upon this subject
open to people in general. The detail of regulations established by the Department, seldom finds its way into the papers,
and correspondents are left to acquire their knowledge respecting it by (sometimes sad) experience.
35*                                       (413)





41i4


PRACTICAL INFORMATION.


It is the intention of the author to supply these deficiencies
in part at least, avoiding, however, all laws and regulations
likely to be changed by legislation, or the constructions put
upon them by the chief officers appointed from     time to time
to administer those laws.
Post masters being already provided with the official instructions pertaining to their duties, a repetition here is
deemed unnecessary farther than a knowledge of the laws and
regulations may be essential to the public.
For the items of information presented below, the author
relies in part on the suggestions of his own experience, but
they are mainly compiled from the established regulations
of the Post-Office Department, and such of the decisions of
its chief officers as are likely to remain permanently in force:MISSING LETTERS, ETC.
That the loss or delay of letters, valuable or otherwise, is often
caused by the dishonesty or carelessness of those to whose custody
they are committed, must be acknowledged. Still, in a large proportion of such cases, the cause is to be found in some one or a combination of those curious omissions and mistakes to which all correspondents-but more especially men deeply involved in business pursuits
-are so liable. The records of the Dead Letter Office, if consulted,
would present a list of delinquents in this particular, embracing the
names of hundreds of individuals and firms, ranking as the most exact
~ nd systematic persons.in the community.
A similar examination of the official reports of the Special Agents
and post masters, would further show to what an extent such losses
are attributable to a want of fidelity and proper care on the part of
persons employed to convey letters to and from the post-office. Suggestions as to the remedies are hardly called for.
So far as relates to misdirections, as they are most apt to occur
with persons and mercantile houses of extensive correspondence, an
excellent precaution may be found, in requiring the post-office messenger, after the letters have been prepared for the mail, to enter in
a book kept for that purpose, the full outside address of each letter,
with the date of mailing. In case any one of them is incorrectly
addressed, and fails to reach its intended destination, a reference to





PRACTICAL INFORMATION.


415


the book of superscriptions will show where the missing document
was sent, and lead to its immediate recovery. If correctly addressed,
that fact would appear, and materially aid in an official investigation.
This, together with the adoption of a greater degree of care than is
at present exercised, in the selection of persons to act as private letter carriers, would greatly reduce the number of losses, mishaps, and
complaints in connection with the mails. Where it is possible, but
one person should be sent to the post-office.
The name of the writer or firm, written or printed on the letter, is
an advantage in case of miscarriage.
When a valuable letter is missing from any cause, the fact should
be at once reported to the post master, in writing, with fall particulars, and a search made by the complainants, of the pockets of any
spare overcoats about the premises.
Where letters are delivered by a public letter carrier, or penny post,
a locked box or some other safe place of deposit for the letters thus
left, should be provided. A neglect of this precaution, is the cause
of many annoyances and losses.
The address of letters intended for delivery in cities, should include,
if possible, the occupation, street and number of the party addressed.
When a letter is, by mistake or owing to a duplicate name, delivered
to the wrong person, it should be immediately returned to the postoffice with a verbal explanation, and not be dropped into the letter
box. If inadvertently opened by the party taking it from the office,
the fact should be endorsed on the back of the letter, with the name
of the opener.
Experience has shown that locked letter boxes or drawers opening
on the outside, especially in cities and large towns, are unsafe, as depositories of letters, especially those containing articles of value.
No letters should be given to Route Agents upon the cars or steamboats, except such as cannot be written before the closing of the mail
at the post-office. Under no circumstances can Route Agents receive
letters that are not pre-paid by stamps.
When there are good grounds for believing that letters are opened
and read from motives of curiosity, complaint should be made in
writing to the Chief Clerk of the Post-Office Department, Washington.
A secret plan for the certain detection of prying delinquents has
recently been devised.





416


PRACTICAL INFORMATION.


Two or more letters directed to different persons, cannot be sent by
mail in one envelope or packet, without subjecting the sender to a
fine of ten dollars. This does not apply to any letter or packet
directed to a foreign country.
Costly and delicate articles of jewelry or other valuables, should
not be placed in a letter, as they are liable to serious injury in the
process of stamping.
It is a violation of law to enclose a letter or other thing (except
bills and receipts for subscription,) or to make any memorandum in
writing, or to print any word or communication, after its publication,
upon any newspaper, pamphlet, magazine, or other printed matter.
The person addressed must pay letter postage, or the sender be fined
five dollars.
If a letter is deposited in a post-office, and the enclosure accidentally omitted, or it becomes necessary to alter or add to the contents,
it is much better to write another letter, than to trouble those in the
office to look for the original one. In large places, especially, a successful search for it, even immediately after its deposit, would consume much valuable time, and such a request is altogether unreasonable, when the remedy suggested is so simple and cheap.
On calling or sending for a letter known to have been advertised,
the fact should always be stated, otherwise only the current letters are
examined.
Although it is strictly the duty of post masters and other agents of
the Department, to correct or report such errors in the mail service
as may come to their knowledge, it is, nevertheless, desirable that any
private citizen should inform the Department of continued neglect or
carelessness in the execution of mail contracts or mismanagement in
a post-office.
Legal provision has been made by Congress, by which letters may
be sent out of the mail in cases of emergency. By the use of the
Government envelope, with the starmp printed thereon, and constituting
a part thereof, letters may be so sent, provided the envelope is duly
sealed, directed, and addressed, and the date or receipt or transmission of such letter written or stamped thereon. The use of such envelope more than once, subjects the offender to a fine of fifty dollars.
A letter or ordinary envelope with a ppstage stamp put on by the
writer, cannot go out of the mail (except by private hand,) for the
reason that the law confines the matter entirely to the envelopes furnished by the Department. Were the privilege extended to the other





POST-OFFICE LAWS.


417


kind of stamps, there being no way to cancel them, by their re-use,
extensive frauds upon the revenue would be the result.
A singular notion seems long to have prevailed that it is no violation of law to send an unsealed letter outside of the mail. This makes
no difference whatever. Even if the paper written upon is not folded,
it is a letter.
Where bundles of newspapers are sent in the mail to "clubs,"
without the names of the subscribers upon the papers, the post master
is under no official obligation to address them. Still the Department
enjoins a spirit of courtesy and accommodation towards publishers
and the public, in all such matters.
A person receiving a letter from the post-office by mistake, or finding one in the street or elsewhere, can under no pretence designedly
break the seal without subjecting himself to a severe penalty.
A printed business card or the name of the sender, placed upon the
outside of a circular, subjects it to double postage; and for any
writing, except the address, letter postage is charged.
The following are among the established rules and regulations of the Department founded upon existing statutes of
Congress:Only the dead letters containing enclosures of value, are required
by law to be preserved and returned to their owners; but if the writer
of a letter not containing an enclosure of value desires to have his letter
preserved, it will be done if he pre-pay the letter and mark the words
"to be preserved," in large characters, on the sealed side. Upon the
return of his letter he will be required to pay the postage from Washington.
The masters of steamboats under contract with the Department,
will deliver into the post-offices (or to the route or local agent of the
Department, if there be any,) at the places at which they arrive, all
letters received by them, or by any person employed on their boats,
at any point along the route.
Masters or managers of all other steamboats, are required by law,
under a penalty of thirty dollars, to deliver all letters brought by
them, or within their care or power, addressed to, or destined for,
the places at which they arrive, to the post masters at such places:
except letters relating to some part of the cargo, and left unsealed. All
letters not addressed to persons to whom the cargo, or any part of it,





418


POST-OFFICE LAWS.


is consigned, are therefore to be delivered into the post-office, to be
charged with postage.
Every master of a vessel from a foreign port is bound, immediately
on his arrival at a port, and before he can report, make entry, or
break bulk, under a penalty not to exceed $100, to deliver into the
post-office all letters brought in his vessel, directed to any person in
the United States, or the Territories thereof, which are under his care
or within his power, except such letters as relate to the cargo or some
part thereof.
Stage coaches, railroad cars, steamboats, packetboats, and all other
vehicles or vessels performing regular trips at stated periods, on a
post route between two or more cities, towns, or places, from one to
the other, on which the United States mail is regularly conveyed under
the authority of the Post-Office Department, are prohibited from
transporting or conveying, otherwise than in the mail, any letter,
packet, or packets of letters, (except those sealed and addressed and
prepaid by stamped envelopes, of suitable denominations,) or other
mailable matter whatsoever, except such as may have relation to some
part of the cargo of such steamboat, packetboat, or other vessel, or
to some article at the same time conveyed by such stage, railroad car,
or some vehicle, and excepting also, newspapers, pamphlets, magazines, and periodicals.
A newspaper, pamphlet, circular, or other printed sheet, if in a
wrapper, should be so folded and wrapped that its character can be
readily determined; and so that any prohibited writing, marks, or
signs upon it may easily be detected. If closely enveloped and sealed
it is chargeable with letter postage.
No post master or other privileged person can authorize his assistant,
clerk, or any other person to write his name for the purpose of franking any letter, public or private.
The personal privilege of franking travels with the person possessing
it, and can be exercised in but one place at the same time.
No post master or privileged person can leave his frank behind him
upon envelopes to cover his correspondence in his absence.
Money and other valuable things, sent in the mail, are at the risk
of the owner. But, if they be lost, the Department will make every
effort in its power to discover the cause, and, if there has been a theft,
to punish the offender.
Letters can be registered on the payment of the registry fee of five
cents for each letter.
Post masters, assistants, and clerks, regularly employed and





POST-OFFICE LAWS.


419


engaged in post-offices, and also post riders and drivers of mail stages,
are by law exempt from military duty and serving on juries, and from
any fine or penalty for neglect thereof.-Act of 1825, sec. 35; Act of
1836, sec. 34.
A post master will suffer no person whatever, except his duly sworn
assistants, or clerks and letter carriers, who may also have been
sworn, to have access to the letters, newspapers, and packets in his
office, or whatever constitutes a part of the mail, or to the mail locks
or keys.
If no special order upon the subject has been made in regard to his
office, a post master is allowed seven minutes only to change the mail.
If the mail be carried in a stage, coach, or sulky, it will be the
duty of the driver to deliver it as near the door of the post-office as
he can come with his vehicle, but not to leave his horses, and he
should not be permitted to throw the mail on the ground.
Post masters will not suffer newspapers to be read in their offices
by persons to whom they are not addressed; nor to be lent out in any
case, without permission of the owners.
If newspapers are not taken out of the office by the person to whom
they are addressed, the post master will give immediate notice to the
publishers, and of the cause thereof if known.
Packets of every description, weighing more than four pounds, are
to be excluded, except public documents, printed by order of either
House of Congress, or such publications or books as have been or may
be published, procured, or purchased, by order of either House of
Congress, or joint resolution of the two Houses, and legally franked.
Newspapers and periodicals to foreign countries (particularly to
the continent of Europe) must be sent in narrow bands, open at the
sides or end; otherwise they are chargeable there with letter postage.
Drop and box letters, circulars, free packets containing printed
documents, speeches, or other printed matter, are not to be advertised.
If newspapers are carried out of the mail for sale or distribution,
post masters are not bound to receive and deliver them. Pamphlets
and magazines for immediate distribution to subscribers cannot be so
carried without a violation of the law of Congress.
The great mails are to be closed at all distributing offices not more
than one hour before the time fixed for their departure; and all other
mails at those offices, and all mails at all other offices, not more than
half an hour before that time, unless the departure is between 9 o'clock,
P. M., and 5, A. M., in which case the mail is to be closed at 9, P. M.





420


POST-OFFICE LAWS.


Postage stamps and stamped envelopes, may be used in pre-payment of postage on letters to foreign countries, in all cases where
such pre-payment can be made in money.
A letter bearing a stamp, cut or separated from a stamped envelope,
cannot be sent through the mail as a pre-paid letter. Stamps so cut
or separated from stamped envelopes lose their legal value.
It is expected that a disposition to accommodate will prompt a
post master to search for and deliver a letter, on the application of a
person who cannot call during the usual office hours.
No person can hold the office of post master, who is not an actual
resident of the city or town wherein the post-office is situated, or
within the delivery of the office.--Sec. 36 of Act of 1836.
Letter postage is to be charged on all hand-bills, circulars, or other
printed matter which shall contain any manuscript writing whatever.
When the mail stops over night where there is a post-office, it must
be kept in the office.
Any person wishing a letter mailed direct, and not to be remailed
at a distributing office, can have his directions followed by writing
the words "mail direct" upon the letter.
The use of canvas bags of any kind, for any other purposes than
the conveyance of mail matter, subjects every person so offending, to
all the penalties provided in the 4th section of the Act of 1852. Contractors, mail carriers, and others in the service of the Department,
are by no means free from censure in this respect, and increased
vigilance in the detection of such practices, and the prompt and indiscriminate punishment of the offenders, have recently been enjoined by
the Post Master General.
Some of the laws are often violated by persons not connected
with the post-office, and it is proper, therefore, that all classes
should be made acquainted with the penalties which attach to
such offences.   For this reason the following extracts from
the laws are here inserted:Act of 1825.
SEC. 9. And be it further enacted, That if any person shall, knowingly and wilfully, obstruct or retard the passage of the mail, or of
any driver or carrier, or of any horse or carriage, carrying the same,
he shall, upon conviction for every such offence, pay a fine not exceeding one ]hundred dollars " and if any ferryman shall, by wilful neg!li




POST-OFFICE LAWS.


421


gence, or refusal to transport the mail across any ferry, delay the
same, he shall forfeit and pay, for every ten minutes that the same
shall be so delayed, a sum not exceeding ten dollars.
SEC. 21. And be it further enacted, That if any person employed in
any of the departments of the post-office establishment, shall unlawfully detain, delay, or open any letter, packet, bag, or mail of letters,
with which he shall be intrusted, or which shall have come to his
possession, and which are intended to be conveyed by post; or, if any
such person shall secrete, embezzle, or destroy any letter or packet
intrusted to such person as aforesaid, and which shall not contain any
security for, or assurance relating to money, as hereinafter described,
every such offender, being thereof duly convicted, shall, for every
such offence, be fined, not exceeding three hundred dollars, or imprisoned, not exceeding six months, or both, according to the circumstances
and aggravation of the offence.   And if any person, employed as
aforesaid, shall secrete, embezzle, or destroy any letter, packet, bag,
or mail of letters, with which he or she shall be intrusted, or which
shall have come to his or her possession, and are intended to be conveyed by post, containing any bank-note or bank post bill, bill of exchange, warrant of the Treasury of the United States, note of assignment of stock in the funds, letters of attorney for receiving annuities
or dividends, or for selling stock in the funds, or for receiving the
interest thereof, or any letter of credit, or note for, or relating to,
payment of moneys, or any bond, or warrant, draft, bill, or promissory note, covenant, contract, or agreement whatsoever, for, or relating
to, the payment of money, or the delivery of any article of value, or
the performance of any act, matter, or thing, or any receipt, release,
acquittance, or discharge of, or from, any debt, covenant, or demand,
or any part thereof, or any copy of any record of any judgment or
decree in any court of law, or chancery, or any execution which may
have issued thereon, or any copy of any other record, or any other
article of value, or any writing representing the same; or if any such
person employed as aforesaid, shall steal, or take, any of the same out
of any letter, packet, bag, or mail of letters, that shall come to his or
her possession, such person shall, on conviction for any such offence,
be imprisoned not less than ten years, nor exceeding twenty-one
years; and if any person who shall have taken charge of the mails of
the United States, shall quit or desert the same before such person
delivers it into the post-office kept at the termination of the route, or
some known mail carrier, or agent of the General Post-Office, authorized to receive the same, every such person, so offending, shall forfeit and pay a sium not exceeding five hundred dollars for every such
36





422


POST-OFFICE LAWS.


offence; and if any person concerned in carrying the mail of the
United States, shall collect, receive, or carry any letter, or packet, or
shall cause or procure the same to be done, contrary to this act, every
such offender shall forfeit and pay, for every such offence, a sum not
exceeding fifty dollars.
SEC. 22. And be it further enacted, That if any person shall rob any
carrier of the mail of the United States, or other person intrusted
therewith, of such mail, or of part thereof, such offender or offenders
shall, on conviction, be imprisoned not less than five years, nor exceeding ten years; and, if convicted a second time of a like offence,
he or they shall suffer death; or, if, in effecting such robbery of the
mail, the first time, the offender shall wound the person having custody thereof, or put his life in jeopardy, by the use of dangerous
weapons, such offender or offenders shall suffer death. And if any
person shall attempt to rob the mail of the United States, by assaulting the person having custody thereof, shooting at him or his horse or
mule, or threatening him with dangerous weapons, and the robbery is
not effected, every such offender, on conviction thereof, shall be
punished by imprisonment, not less than two years nor exceeding ten
years. And, if any person shall steal the mail, or shall steal or take
from, or out of, any mail, or from, or out of any post-office, any
letter or packet; or, if any person shall take the mail, or any letter
or packet therefrom, or from any post-office, whether with or without
the consent of the person having custody thereof, and shall open, embezzle, or destroy any such mail, letter, or packet, the same containing any article of value, or evidence of any debt, due, demand, right,
or claim, or any release, receipt, acquittance, or discharge, or any
other article, paper, or thing, mentioned and described in the twentyfirst section of this act; or, if any person shall, by fraud or deception,
obtain from any person having custody thereof, any mail, letter, or
packet, containing any article of value, or evidence thereof, or either
of the writings referred to, or next above-mentioned, such offender or
offenders, on conviction thereof, shall be imprisoned, not less than
two, nor exceeding ten years. And, if any person shall take any
letter or packet, not containing any article of value, nor evidence
thereof, out of a post-office, or shall open any letter, or packet, which
shall have been in a post-office, or in custody of a mail carrier, before
it shall have been delivered to the person to whom it is directed, with
a design to obstruct the correspondence, to pry into another's business or secrets; or shall secrete, embezzle, or destroy any such mail,
letter, or packet, such offender, upon conviction, shall pay, for every





POST-OFFICE LAWS.


423


such offence, a sum not exceeding five hundred dollars, and be imprisoned not exceeding twelve months.
SEC. 23. And be it further enacted, That if any person shall rip, cut,
tear, burn, or otherwise injure, any valise, portmanteau, or other bag,
used, or designed to be used, by any person acting under the authority of the Post Master General, or any person in whom his powers
are vested, in a conveyance of any mail, letter, packet, or newspaper,
or pamphlet, or shall draw or break any staple, or loosen any part of
any lock, chain, or strap, attached to, or belonging to any such valise,
portmanteau, or bag, with an intent to rob, or steal any mail, letter,
packet, newspaper, or pamphlet, or to render either of the same insecure, every such offender, upon conviction, shall, for every such
offence, pay a sum not less than one hundred dollars, nor exceeding five
hundred dollars, or be imprisoned not less than one year, nor exceeding three years, at the discretion of the court before whom such conviction is had.
SEC. 24. And be it further enacted, That every person, who, from
and after the passage of this act, shall procure, and advise, or assist,
in the doing or perpetration of any of the acts or crimes by this act
forbidden, shall be subject to the same penalties and punishments as
the persons are subject to, who shall actually do or perpetrate any of
the said acts or crimes, according to the provisions of this act.
SEC. 45. And be it further enacted, That if any person shall buy,
receive, or conceal, or aid in buying, receiving, or concealing, any
article mentioned in the twenty-first section of this act, knowing the
same to have been stolen or embezzled from the mail of the United
States, or out of any post-office, or from any person having the custody of the said mail, or the letters sent or to be sent therein; or if
any person shall be accessory after the fact to any robbery of the carrier of the mail of the United States, or other person intrusted therewith, of such mail, or of part thereof, every person, so offending, shall,
on conviction thereof, pay a fine not exceeding two thousand dollars,
and be imprisoned and confined to hard labor for any time not exceeding ten years. And such person or persons, so offending, may be
tried and convicted without the principal offender being first tried,
provided such principal offender has fled from justice, or cannot be
found to be put on his trial.
Act of 1836.
SEC. 38. And be it further enacted, That if any person shall be
accessory after the fact, to the offence of stealing or taking the mail
of the United States, or of stealing or taking any letter or packet, or





424


POST-OFFICE LAWS.


enclosure in any letter or packet sent or to be sent in the mail of the
United States, from any post-office in the United States, or from the
mail of the United States, by any person or persons whatever, every
person so offending as accessory, shall, on conviction thereof, pay a
fine not exceeding one thousand dollars, and be imprisoned for a term
not exceeding five years; and such accessory after the fact may be
tried, convicted, and punished in the district in which his offence was
committed, though the principal offence may have been committed in
another district, and before the trial of the principal offender: Provided, such principal offender has fled from justice, or cannot be
arrested to be put upon his trial.
Sec. 28, Act of 1825.
- - And if any person shall counterfeit the hand-writing or frank
of any person, or cause the same to be done, in order to avoid the
payment of postage, each person, so offending, shall pay, for every
such offence, five hundred dollars.
Sec. 5, Act of 1845.
And be it further enacted, That if any person or persons shall forge
or counterfeit, or shall utter or use knowingly, any counterfeit stamp
of the Post-Office Department of the United States issued by authority of this act or by any other act of Congress, 'within the United
States, or the post-office stamp of any foreign Government, he shall
be adjudged guilty of felony, and, on conviction thereof in any court
having jurisdiction of the same, shall undergo a confinement at hard
labor for any length of time not less than two years, nor more than
ten, at the discretion of the court.
Sec. 11, Act of 1847.
*- *  And any person who shall falsely and fraudulently make,
utter, or forge any postage stamp with the intent to defraud the PostOffice Department, shall be deemed guilty of felony, and on conviction
shall be subject to the same punishment as is provided in the twentyfirst section of the act approved the third day of March, eighteen
hundred and twenty-five, entitled "An act to reduce into one the
several acts establishing and regulating the Post-Office Department."
Act of 1851.
SEC. 3. * 5 * And any person who shall forge or counterfeit any
postage stamp provided or furnished under the provisions of this or
any former act, whether the same are impressed or printed on or





POST-OFFICE LAWS.


425


attached to envelopes or not, or any die, plate, or engraving therefor,
or shall make or print, or knowingly use or sell, or have in his possession with intent to use or sell, any such false, forged, or counterfeited
die, plate, engraving, or postage stamp, or who shall make or print,
or authorize or procure to be made or printed, any postage stamps of
the kind provided and furnished by the Post Master General as aforesaid, without the especial authority and direction of the Post-Office
Department, or who, after such postage stamps have been printed,
shall, with intent to defraud the revenues of the Post-Office Department, deliver any postage stamps to any person or persons other than
such as shall be authorized to receive the same, by an instrument of
writing duly executed under the hand of the Post Master General,
and the seal of the Post-Office Department, shall, on conviction thereof,
be deemed guilty of felony, and be punished by a fine not exceeding
five hundred dollars, or by imprisonment not exceeding five years, or
by both such fine and imprisonment.
SEc. 4. * * * And if any person shall use or attempt to use in prepayment of postage, any postage stamp which shall have been before
used for like purposes, such person shall be subject to a penalty
of fifty dollars for every such offence, to be recovered in the name of
the United States, in any court of competent jurisdiction.
Sec. 80, Act of 1825.
*  * If any person employed in any department of the post-office,
shall improperly detain, delay, embezzle, or destroy, any newspaper,
or shall permit any other person to do the like, or shall open, or permit any other to open, any mail, or packet, of newspapers, not directed
to the office where he is employed, such offender shall, on conviction
thereof, forfeit a sum not exceeding fifty dollars, for every such
offence. And if any person shall open any mail or packet of newspapers, or shall embezzle or destroy the same, not being directed to
such person, or not being authorized to receive or open the same,
such offender shall, on conviction thereof, pay a sum not exceeding
twenty dollars for every such offence. And if any person shall take,
or steal, any packet, bag, or mail of newspapers, from, or out of any
post-office, or from any person having custody thereof, such person
shall, on conviction, be imprisoned, not exceeding three months, for
every such offence, to be kept at hard labor during the period of such
imprisonment. If any person shall enclose or conceal a letter, or
other thing, or any memorandum in writing, in a newspaper, pamphlet,
or magazine, or in any package of newspapers, pamphlets, or magazines, or make any writing or memorandum thereon, which he shall
36 *





426


POST-OFFICE LAWS.


have delivered into any post-office, or to any person for that purpose,
in order that the same may be carried by post, free of letter postage,
he shall forfeit the sum of five dollars for every such offence.
Act of 1845.'
SEC. 9. And be it further enacted, That it shall not be lawful for any
person or persons to establish any private express or expresses for the
conveyance, nor in any manner to cause to be conveyed, or provide
for the conveyance or transportation, by regular trips, or at stated
periods or intervals, from one city, town, or other place, to any other
city, town, or place, in the United States, between and from and to
which cities, towns, or other places, the United States mail is regularly
transported, under the authority of the Post-Office Department, of
any letters, packets, or packages of letters, or other matter properly
transmittable in the United States mail, except newspapers, pamphlets,
magazines, and periodicals; and each and every person offending
against this provision, or aiding and assisting therein, or acting as
such private express, shall, for each time any letter or letters, packet
or packages, or other matter properly transmittable by mail, except
newspapers, pamphlets, magazines, and periodicals, shall or may be,
by him, her, or them, or through his, her, or their means or instrumentality, in whole or in part, conveyed or transported contrary to
the true intent, spirit, and meaning of this section, forfeit and pay
the sum of one hundred and fifty dollars.
SEc. 10. And be it further enacted, That it shall not be lawful for
any stage coach, railroad car, steamboat, packetboat, or other vehicle
or vessel, nor any of the owners, managers, servants, or crews of
either, which regularly perform trips at stated periods on a post route,
or between two or more cities, towns, or other places, from one to the
other of which the United States mail is regularly conveyed under the
authority of the Post-Office Department, to transport or convey,
otherwise than in the mail, any letter or letters, packet or packages
of letters, or other mailable matter whatsoever, except such as may
have relation to some part of the cargo of such steamboat, packetboat, or other vessel, or to some article at the same time conveyed
by the same stage coach, railroad car, or other vehicle, and excepting
also, newspapers, pamphlets, magazines, and periodicals; and for
every such offence, the owner or owners of the stage coach, railroad
car, steamboat, packetboat, or other vehicle or vessel, shall forfeit
and pay the sum of one hundred dollars; and the driver, captain,
conductor, or person having charge of any such stage coach, railroad





POST-OFFICE LAWS.


427


car, steamboat, packetboat, or other vehicle or vessel, at the time of
the commission of any such offence, and who shall not at that time be
the owner thereof, in whole or in part, shall, in like manner, forfeit
and pay, in every such case of offence, the sum of fifty dollars.
SEC. 11. And be it further enacted, That the owner or owners of
every stage coach, railroad car, steamboat, or other vehicle or vessel,
which shall, with the knowledge of any owner or owners, in whole or
in part, or with the knowledge or connivance of the driver, conductor,
captain, or other person having charge of any such stage coach, railroad car, steamboat, or other vessel or vehicle, convey or transport
any person or persons acting or employed as a private express for
the conveyance of letters, packets, or packages of letters, or other
mailable matter, and actually in possession of such mailable matter,
for the purpose of transportation, contrary to the spirit, true intent,
and meaning of the preceding sections of this law, shall be subject to
the like fines and penalties as are hereinbefore provided and directed
in the case of persons acting as such private expresses, and of persons
employing the same; tut nothing in this act contained shall be construed to prohibit the conveyance or transmission of letters, packets,
or packages, or other matter, to any part of the United States, by
private hands, no compensation being tendered or received therefor
in any way, or by a special messenger employed only for the single
particular occasion.
SEC. 12. And be itfurther enacted, That all persons whatsoever who
shall, after the passage of this act, transmit by any private express,
or other means by this act declared to be unlawful, any letter or
letters, package or packages, or other mailable matter, excepting
newspapers, pamphlets, magazines, and periodicals, or who shall place
or cause to be deposited at any appointed place, for the purpose of
being transported by such unlawful means, any matter or thing properly transmittable by mail, excepting newspapers, pamphlets, magazines, and periodicals, or who shall deliver any such matter, excepting
newspapers, pamphlets, magazines, and periodicals, for transmission
to any agent or agents of such unlawful expresses, shall, for each
and every offence, forfeit and pay the sum of fifty dollars.
[The 8th section of the Act of August 31, 1852, provides that letters
enclosed in " Government Envelopes," so called, having the stamp
printed thereon, may be conveyed out of the mail. Provided, That
the said envelope shall be duly sealed, or otherwise firmly and securely
closed, so that such letter cannot be taken therefrom without tearing
or destroying such envelope; and the same duly directed and addressed,





428


POST-OFFICE LAWS.


and the date of such letter, or the receipt or transmission thereof, to
be written or stamped, or otherwise appear on such envelope.]
* * * "And if any person shall use, or attempt to use, for the conveyance of any letter, or other mailable matter or thing, over any
post-road of the United States, either by mail or otherwise, any such
stamped letter envelope which has been before used for a like purpose,
such person shall be liable to a penalty of fifty dollars, to be recovered, in the name of the United States, in any court having competent jurisdiction."-Sec. 8, Act of 1853.
[Newspapers for subscribers may go in or out of the mail; but
pamphlets, magazines, &c., if intended to supply regular subscribers,
must go in the mail.-Act of 1847.]
Act of 1847.
SEC. 2. And be it further enacted, That all moneys taken from the
mails of the United States by robbery, theft, or otherwise, which have
come or may hereafter come into the possession or custody of any of
the agents of the Post-Office Department, or any other officers of the
United States, or any other person or persons whatever, shall be paid
to the order of the Post Master General, to be kept by him as other
moneys of the Post-Office Department, to and for the use and benefit
of the rightful owner, to be paid whenever satisfactory proof thereof
shall be made; and upon the failure of any person in the employment
of the United States to pay over such moneys when demanded, the
person so refusing shall be subject to the penalties prescribed by law
against defaulting officers.
SEC. 13. And be it further enacted, That it shall not be lawful to
deposit in any post-office, to be conveyed in the mail, two or more
letters directed to different persons enclosed in the same envelope or
packet; and every person so offending shall forfeit the sum of ten
dollars, to be recovered by action qui tam, one half for the use of the
informer, and the other half for the use of the Post-Office Department: Provided, That this prohibition shall not apply to any letter or
packet directed to any foreign country.
Act of 1852.
SEC. 3. And be it further enacted, That if any person shall steal.
purloin, embezzle, or obtain by any false pretence, or shall aid or
assist in stealing, purloining, embezzling, or obtaining by any false
pretence, or shall knowingly and unlawfully make, forge, or counterfeit, or cause to be unlawfully made, forged, or counterfeited, or
knowingly aid or assist in falsely and unlawfully making, forging, or





POST-OFFICE LAWS.


counterfeiting any key suited to any lock which has been or shall be
adopted for use by the Post-Office Department of the United States,
and which shall be in use on any of the mails or mail bags of the said
Post-Office Department, or shall have in his possession any such mail
key or any such mail lock, with the intent unlawfully or improperly
to use, sell, or otherwise dispose of the same, or cause the same to be
unlawfully or improperly used, sold or otherwise disposed of, or who
being employed in the manufacture of the locks or keys for the use
of the said Post-Office Department, whether as contractor or otherwise, shall deliver or cause to be delivered any finished or unfinished
key or lock used or designed by the said Post-Office Department, or
the interior part of any such mail lock, to any person not duly
authorized under the hand of the Post Master General of the United
States and the seal of the said Post-Of ce Department to receive the
same, (unless such person so receiving the same shall be the contractor
for furnishing such locks and keys, or engaged in the manufacture
thereof in the manner authorized by the contract, or the agent for
such manufacturer,) suchperson so offending shall be deemed guilty
of felony, and, on conviction thereof, shall be imprisoned for a period
not exceeding ten years.
SEc. 4. And be it further enacted, That if any person shall steal, purloin or embezzle any mail bags in use by or belonging to the Post-Office
Department of the United States, or any other property in use by or
belonging to the said Post-Office Department, or shall, for any lucre,
gain, or convenience, appropriate any such property to his own, or
any other than its proper use, or for any lucre or gain shall convey
away any such property to the hindrance or detriment of the public
service of the United States, the person so offending, his counsellors,
aiders, and abettors, (knowing of and privy to any offence aforesaid,)
shall, on conviction thereof, if the value of such property shall exceed
twenty-five dollars, be deemed guilty of felony, and shall be imprisoned
for a period not exceeding three years; or if the value of such property shall be less than twenty-five dollars, shall be imprisoned hot
more than one year, or be fined not less than ten dollars, nor more
than two hundred dollars, for every such offence.
Act of 1855.
SEc. 2. And be it further enacted, That it shall not be lawful for
any post master or other person to sell any postage stamp or stamped
envelope for any larger sum than that indicated upon the face of such
postage stamp or for a larger sum than that charged therefor by the





430                    POST-OFFICE LAWS.
Post-Office Department; and any person who shall violate this
provision shall be deemed guilty of a misdemeanor, and, on conviction
thereof, shall be fined in any sum not less than ten nor more than five
hundred dollars. This act to take effect and be in force from and
after the commencement of the next fiscal quarter after its passage.
Provided, That nothing herein contained shall be so construed as to
alter the laws in relation to the franking privilege.
SEC. 3. And be it further enacted, That for the greater security of
valuable letters posted for transmission in the mails of the United
States, the Post Master General be and hereby is authorized to establish
a uniform plan for the registration of such letters on application of
parties posting the same, and to require the pre-payment of the
postage, as well as a registration fee of five cents on every such letter
or packet to be accounted for by post masters receiving the same in
such manner as the Post Master General shall direct: Provided however,
That such registration shall not be compulsory; and it shall not
render the Post-Office Department or its revenue liable for the loss
of such letters or packets or the contents thereof.







IMPROVED LETTER CASE.


THE delivery of letters can be greatly facilitated by means of a very
simple improvement in the letter case for the " general delivery,"
which has already been adopted to some extent, with the most satisfactory results.
In the early history of post-offices, the old-fashioned letter case
divided off in alphabetical order, or by vowels, answered a tolerable
purpose, and so it would now in very small offices,-but as population
increased, and fifty or more letters had to be overhauled before the
applicant could receive an answer, some relief both for post masters
and the public became absolutely indispensable, and various trifling
changes and improvements were adopted-but none of them were
found to be "up to the times," till the introduction of the labor and
time saving invention called the "Square of the Alphabet."  It is
believed to have been originally planned and adopted in the post-office
(431)





432


IMPROVED LETTER CASE.


at Providence, R. I. Since then, the dimensions of the case and the
arrangement of the boxes have been varied to suit the amount of
business in the comparatively small number of offices that have introduced it. But the size and plan exhibited in the prefixed diagram, is
believed to be the most convenient and simple, and well suited to
places varying in population, from five thousand to fifty thousand.
The practical advantage is, that by the division of the letters when
placed in the pigeon holes, at least four applications can be correctly
answered, where one can be under the old plan of crowding a large
number of letters together. And where this improved case occupies
a position opposite the "general delivery" window, many individuals
soon learn the location of the box where their letters should be, and
in case it is empty, inquiry becomes unnecessary.
The rows of letters of the alphabet running horizontally, from left
to right, represent the surname, and are several times repeated for
convenience, and as an aid to the eye in tracing given initials; while
the perpendicular rows of letters stand for the Christian name, and
are used doubly, to reduce the size of the case. Where it is necessary, however, the Christian initials can also be placed singly, by
enlarging the case, or making it in two sections, using only half of
the alphabet for each, placing the two sections in an angular form,
or backing one against the otLer, and putting the entire frame on an
upright shaft turning upon a pivot at top and bottom, near the general
delivery, so as to admit of turning the case, as the locality of the
initials inquired for may require.
The plan for example works thus:-John Jones calls for a letter.
The person in attendance glances at the J. on the horizontal line,
and then runs the eye to the range of the J. on the perpendicular
line, and that is the box in which Jones' letter ought to be. One for
Isaac Jones would be in the same place, in a case constructed after
the above arrangement.
Its dimensions are as follows:Size of the entire case, 5 feet 1- inches, by 4 feet 2- inches.
Size of pigeon holes or letter boxes, 3U-by 2l inches.
Thickness of outside of case and lettered shelves, - of an inch.
Intermediate shelves, - inch thick.
Upright partitions of boxes, - inch thick-partitions cut out concave in front.
The legs or supports of the case should be about 2 feet in length,
and " white wood" is considered the best material for the entire case.
Paint can be used for the lettering, or letters printed upon paper,
and pasted on separately, will answer the purpose.


THE END.