~~/~~~<
I 
PARENTS' MANUAL;
OR,
HOME AND SCHOOL TRAINING.
BY
HIRAM ORCUTT, A.M.,
Authorof" The Class-Bookof Prose and Poetry," "Gleanings from School        Life Experience," and "The Teacher's Manual."
" To teach, whether by word or action, is the greatest function on
earth."                                               GHANsINGe.
BOSTON:
PUBLISHED BY THOMPSON, BROWN, & CO.,
25 AND 29, CORsHIULL.
THE
|    I,            i j 
Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year x874, by
HIRAMI ORCUTT,
In the Office of the Librarian of Congress at Washington.
BOSTON:
RAND AVERY, & Co., STEREOTYPERS AND PRINTERS.
I 
TO
TIlE FAITtFUL MIOTHERS IN AMERICA,
WHO REGARD THtEIR IOMES AS THEIR KINGDOM, AND THE
POLISHING OF THEIR "JERWELS" AS THEIR
PRIDE AND CHIEF GLORY,
TH-IS  VOLUME,
WHICH HAS BEEN WRITTEN FOR THE AID AND ENCOURAGE   MENT OF ALL WHO SUSTAIN PARENTAL RELATIONS,
IS RESPECTFULLY DEDICATED BY
THE AUTHOR.
.1 
I
I 
PREFACE.
THE family and the school are inseparably connected in the great work of education; yet much
the larger share of the labor and responsibility
necessarily belongs to parents.   Teachers  are
only their assistants and employes, having delegated authority and power; and their success
and usefulness depend largely upon the wisdom
and co-operation of their employers. HIence the
discipline of the family embraces the discipline
of the school, and should be based upon the same
principles, and studied with equal care and earnestness both by parents and teachers.
With these views, and with the hope of aiding
in the noble work of training our American children for greater usefulness and a higher destiny
than we have yet realized, the author has prepared this volume. " THE PARENTS' MANUAL"
S.
I*
5 
PREFACE.
is designed as the counterpart of " TiiF THEAcHER'S MANUAL," published two years ago. That
volume treated upon the teacher's duties to his
pupils in all the relations he sustains to the
school: this treats upon parents' duties in all
the relations they sustain to their children, in
the family, in the school, and in society, during the period of their minority.
The author is not aware that any one book
covering the same ground has ever been written
upon this subject.  His aim has been to make the
work concise and practical. How far and how
well he has accomplished his object, he must
leave to the reader to judge.
TILDEN SEMINARY,
WEST LEBANON, N.HI., April, 1874.
6
I 
CONTENTS.
PAGE.
~....       9
.....    12
.....   19
....   27
.......   44
.....     72
.                  *.. 105
CHAPTER I.
INTRODUCTION.........
CHAPTER II.
PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY...
CHAPTER  Im.
PARENTAL CONTROL......
CHAPTER IV.
PARENTAL MISMANAGEMENT..
CHAPTER V.
PARENTAL EFFICIENCY.....
CHAPTER VI.
CHARACTER AND IIABITS...
CHAPTERI VII.
RELIGIOUS TRAINING......
7 
8                      CONTENTS.
CHiAPTER VIII.
INTELLECTUAL CULTURE.....
CHAPTER IX.
THIE CHITTLDREN AT SCHOOL.......
CHAPTER X.
THE CHILDREN IN SOCIETY....,
CHAPTER XI.
MISCELLANEOUS SUGGESTIONS.. $.
PAGE.
*.. 115
... 138
~,. 235
~..257 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
I.
INTRODUCTION.
"Home is the sacred refuge of our life."
DRYDEN.
HE  home of childhood, -what hal    lowed assocations cluster around it!
How sacred to the memory and dear to
the heart that has felt its power! The
place is consecrated by parental and filial
affection, and by innocent sports and
joys, which can never be repeated in the
experience of life. The very name excites emotions which no language can
describe. And when the melody of
" Home, home, sweet, sweet home I "   9 
10       THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
strikes upon the ear, the fountains of the
soul are stirred to their lowest depths.
Here exist the most intimate and endearing of all human relations. Husband
and wife, parents and children, brothers
and sisters, constitute the home, and enjoy
a common sympathy, and toil together
to promote the common good.
The home was first planted in Eden by
God's own hand, and has been transplanted into every civilized community.
In these family relations the father stands
as the ordained head of his household,
- to provide for their wants, promote
their happiness, and share their blessings.
The mother is his "helpmeet," his honored queen, and the sharer of his authority and responsibility in the important
work of education: indeed, she is the
central light and animating spirit of
every true home; and hence from her
emanates the educating and moulding
power in every family. 
INTRODUCTION.
The importance of this home to the
welfare of our race cannot be overestimated. It is the heart, whose arteries
extend to the utmost limits of human
society, and from which flows the lifeblood of the nation.   If this blood is
pure, it imparts health and vigor to the
whole body politic; but, if impure, it
engenders corruption, disease, and death.
Now, if home-training is so important,
and the mother is the chief source of
that influence which develops  and matures all that is noble in the future citizen, it must follow that the legitimate
sphere of her activity and usefulness lies
chiefly in her own household.   If she
does well the work which has been assigned her there, she will have no time,
nor strength, nor disposition, to seek another and more extensive field of labor.
11 
II.
PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY.
HO can measure it? Parents are
the God-commissioned guardians,
rulers, and guides of their children.
They have been selected from the race,
and ordained to this special work. Implanted in them is an instinctive, peculiar
love for their offspring, which was designed to insure fidelity. United by the
ties of consanguinity, they are the nearest in affection, and the nearest in place.
In this fearful position, parents have in
charge the beginning and shaping of a
boundless,  eternal  destiny.   As  rulers
and teachers, they hold a sceptre more
royal than that of kings, and occupy a
12
I 
PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY.
throne nearest of any human power to
the throne of God. Parents are there fore ordained as special ministers, to
keep safely, educate wisely, and bless
continually, their tender children.
M1ark the filial spirit which the child
cherishes for the fond and faithful
mother. What more pure and elevating? With what simple and unfaltering
faith does he lean upon the maternal
arm, and trust in maternal fidelity!
Every tone of the mother's voice thrills
the heart of childhood; and every expression of her countenance awakens joy
or sorrow, hope or fear. Here we have
a glimpse of the unmeasured power of
home-training over the destiny of the
child, which is the measure of parental
responsibility; yet no finite mind can
ever fully comprehend it.
And for what are parents training
their children? They enjoy them now
2
13 
14      T'IlE PARENTS' MANUAL.
as sunbeams  which cheer their homes,
and hold them as treasures which wealth
could not purchase. They hope to have
them as companions in riper years, and
to lean upon them for comfort and support in declining life. But it will depend largely upon their early training
whether they will honor or dishonor the
name they have inherited; whether they
will be a source of comfort and joy, or
will "bring the gray hairs of their parents in sorrow to their graves."
Parents are training their children also
for society, for the duties and responsibilities of citizenship. But what kind
of citizenship shall it be? "The child
is the father of the man;" and his development for good or evil, under parental
control, will determine his future character. The neglect or mismanagement
of parents results in the misdeeds of children. The ill-tempered and disobedient
I 
PAR?ENTAL RESPONSIBILITY..
boy, unsubdued at home, will be dis orderly at school, and contentious, vulgar,
and profane in the streets; and he is thus
trained to enter directly upon a course
of dissipation and crime that may lead
to ruin. The unrestrained girl will be
likely to grow  up  self-willed, petulant,
vain, frivolous, and self-idolizing; and
society made up of such citizens will become a mingled scene of struggling and
crushing antagonisms.   Let it not be forgotten that the thirty thousand human
beings now confined within prison-walls
in the United States were once innocent
children in maternal arms. What a fearful responsibility, then, rests upon American parents, since  the destiny of their
children and of the nation depends upon
their influence and efforts!
Again: the family is a school, and the
parents the divinely-ordained teachers.
Education begins at the dawn of existence,
15
I 
16       THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
and terminates only with life. Helpless
infancy is intrusted to parental love and
care. Its puny body must be nourished
and clothed. With what provident care
has the Creator provided for these special
wants! and how tenderly does the true
mother watch over her precious charge,
and minister to its necessities and comforts! Anxious days and sleepless nights
bear testimony to her faithfulness.  Ere
long, through the. development of the
physical system, intelligence dawns; and
smiles begin to play upon the countenance, as if the child had learned to recognize with gratitude and love the
patient toil of its benefactor.   During
this period its very life was in peril, dependent upon the mother, the guardian
angel of the home.
Here opens another scene in life's
drama. With intelligence come the activity and accountability of the child, and
I 
PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY.
a new responsibility upon the parent.
The tiny limbs must be trained to walk,
and the silent tongue to prattle.  The
mind, like a clean white canvas, begins
now to receive impressions from the external world through the senses, and to
judge of the right and wrong of childish
actions. Here double diligence must be
exercised to guard against new danger,
not the danger of being harmed by fire
or water or poison through ignorance
of their uses and abuses, but by the corruptirng influence of a wicked world.  And
how can parents feel less solicitude for
the moral safety of their children who
have come to years of discretion, and are
compelled to walk amid so many pitfalls
of ruin, than for their physical safety
while exposed to the common accidents
of life?
At this critical period, provision must
be made to form the character; to ex
2*
17 
18       THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
pand, mature, and furnish the mind; to
cultivate the conscience; in a word, to
develop the whole being into true manhood or womanhood. This is the end to
be reached, and by a process which is
expressed by the word "education;" and
this vast work is intrusted chiefly to parents. For its accomplishment they are
held responsible; and this responsibility
they cannot evade.
I 
III.
.PARENTAL CONTROL.
TH.E discipline of the family, as treated
in this volume, implies much more
than family government: it includes the
management and culture of children in
all the relations they sustain while under
parental care. But parental control and
filial submission are not only a duty under
the divine law, but a necessity for the
welfare of the child. Without experience, he is in the midst of danger, and
exposed to injury and death; and yet he
fears no evil. His hand must be forcibly
withheld from the burning coals; and,
though he cry ever so bitterly, he must
not be allowed to play with edged tools,
19 
20       TIHE PARENTS' MANUAL.
nor to eat poison. The most strenuous
advocates of moral suasion must admit
that here, at least, authority and force are
properly and necessarily exercised. And
it is just here that the child is initiated
into submission to the power above him.
In every instance of positive and immediate danger, the parent interferes to prevent the evil; and yet how many utterly
fail to administer positive government beyond this point! Such neglect is entirely
inconsistent and ruinous.   Government,
to be effective, must be absolute and uniform, and must reach every case of wro)g
as well as of danger.
The child has been described by some
writer as "a little crawling, creeping,
picking, pulling, pushing, climbing, tottling, and tumbling piece of activity."
As such he is committed to the mother's
care. Activity is, indeed, a condition of
his mental and physical development;
I 
PARENTAL CONTROL.
but it must be under constant control.
With a blind impulse he moves in every
direction, regardless alike of his own safety and of the comforts and rights of
others. He may pull the boiling teapot
from the stove; and may not the mother
force him away to prevent his death from
scalding? He may dash the china set
upon the floor; and may she not, with
equal propriety, interpose her authority
to prevent the destruction of the property, and to teach the child the wrong of
such recklessness? Suppose she meets
angry wilfulness and sullen resistance in
her efforts to correct and restrain: may
she not, and should she not, hold the
little rebel under discipline until he is
subdued to cheerful obedience?
There must be fixed statutes in every
domestic realm; and these must be revealed to the children as soon as they
can understand them, and must be re
21 
22       THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
peated as often as they are disposed to
violate them. And these laws must
be enforced at all times and everywhere
if the desirable results of family government are to be realized. The habit of
disobedience, which often results from
parental weakiness, may lead to some terrible, blighting calamity to the family.
How often are we startled by news of the
sudden and violent death of some darling
child! But, had that child been taught
unconditional obedience to parental authority, he would not have entered the
forbidden water, nor played upon the
brink of the precipice. Begin early to
enforce obedience, and with a steady
hand, firm purpose, and loving heart,
meet and subdue every rebellious effort
on the part of the child, and family government will be comparatively easy, and
the fearful consequences of insubordination will be avoided.  Immediate sub
I 
PARENTAL CONTROL.
mission to separate and incidental commands and prohibitions is the only condition of absolute parental control and
filial security. This should be insisted on
from the beginning. I do not believe in
the "divine right of kings;" but I do
insist upon the divine right of parents to
control their children during all the years
of their minority; and that the future
character of these children, as pupils, as
citizens, and  as subjects of the divine
government, will be determined largely
by this early training.
It is from the ranks of children ungoverned at home that our reform-schools,
houses of correction, jails, and prisons
are filled; and the domestic training
that saves from such fearful consequences
begins by securing obedience to specific
directions, and expands into a cheerful
compliance with general rules of right
and duty. If the child is not required'to
23 
24       THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
obey a particular command, he will not
conform to general laws in the family,
in the school, or in society: but if, on
the other hand, filial obedience early
becomes a habit, the severer struggles
between parents and children which cause
so much pain and grief in after-years
would be avoided; and that "stubborn
will" which defies parental authority, and
invokes severe punishments, would never
be formed.
This was evidently a part of the divine
plan. At first, the child is not only ignorant and impulsive, but weak, and easily
controlled. Soon consciousness dawns,
and he begins to recognize the mother's
voice and smile. Fear, love, and reverence are awakened; and these become
powerful aids to maternal government.
This, then, is the opportunity, and these
the means provided by God, to enforce
the great lesson, and to teach the child 
PARENTAL CONTROL.
not only the necessity, but the obligation,
of obedience.
Happy are those children who have
been thus reared under the discipline of
home; happy in the peaceful submission
to parental authority, and in the enjoyment of parental love; happy in the exercise of filial affection, and reverence
toward those whom God has placed over
them; and happy in the enjoyment of
mutual love and mutual sympathy. And
happy, indeed, those parents whose fidelity has trained for themselves, their
country, and their God, such a family;
happy         in their society and in the sunshine of their affections; happy in the
thought that they will be sustained and
comforted in declining life by the strong
arm and tender heart of their own loyal
offspring, and that they will die, not
among strangers, but surrounded by
their own kindred; happy in the assur
3
25 
26       THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
ance that their children will in the future
honor their name, their memory, and
their virtues, and will bless the nation
through the influence of a noble and exalted citizenship. 
IV.
PARENTAL MISMANAGEMENT.
jAMILY  government is both an art
and a science.   Some parents are
endowed by nature with a special gift to
manage and control children; while
others seem almost entirely to lacle this
qualification. The first class, even, may
profit by suggestions from the more experienced and wise; but the second class,
who must also bear parental responlsibility, especially need instruction and
training for their important worlk.
Insubordination is a characteristic of
our age and country. It is seen in the
irreverent and unruly spirit of children
in the fanmily and in the school; in their
27 
28       THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
rude, boisterous, and profane conduct in
the streets; in their truancy and crime,
which have filled our reform-schools and
houses of correction; in the frequent
rebellions in academies and colleges
throughout the land. That all these consequences have too often resulted directly
from parental inefficiency and mismanagement, no intelligent observer can
doubt.
Some parents, through their own perverseness, have lost the power to minister
at the sacred family altar. Their example and influence are wholly unfavorable
to wholesome discipline. They sustain
the sacred relation of husband and wife,
and have been intrusted with the holy
mission of moulding the character of
childhood; but they have become divorced in spirit and in life. Their little
differences are permitted to ripen into
open rupture; and their home, which 
PARENTAL MISMANAGEMENT.
should be the very paradise of earthly
bliss, where affection and harmony always dwell, becomes a scene of perpetual
strife and turmoil. And how fearful the
influence of such example over the immediate and more distant future of these
children!  A  large proportion  of  the
lawlessness, vice, and crime, which curse
American  society, results directly from
this cause.  Here, then, is a theme for
the contemplation of the Christian philanthropist, who seeks the elevation of
our people and the perpetuity of our
free institutions. Let him toil to harmonize, purify, and enlighten the homes
where our future citizens must be trained.
Other parents do not attempt to govern their children, nor believe in the
importance or utility of such control,
except in cases of absolute physical danger: hence they offer no restraints, and
exercise no authority over them.   They
3*
29 
30       THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
profess to believe that reproofs and punishments result only in moroseness of
disposition, ana perverseness of manners.
Such interpositions disturb the quiet and
ha'rmony of the family; and hence the
parents yield to every wish, and gratify
every desire, of their children, to avoid
the fancied evil. But such a family democracy soon resolves itself into a fearful
despotism, where the children are the
rulers, and their parents are the obedient
and much-abused subjects. How wise (in
their own estimation), arrogant, dictatorial, and ill-mannered such children become, we have frequent opportunities to
see. Nor could it be otherwise, under
this perverted order of things. The divinely-appointed sovereigns of the house
have been deposed, and are in subjection. The natural subjects have never
learned obedience under authority:
hence the sad consequences are realized
at home, in school, and in society. 
PARENTAL MISMANAGEMENT.
Still other parents attempt to govern,
but fail, some from one cause, and some
from another. I may here specify some
of the more common ways of spoiling children.
First, I will name the fickle method.
Parental tenderness was designed by God
to insure fidelity. It inspires an undying interest in the child's welfare; and, if
rightly directed, will secure its object.
But the mother lacks firmness. Her convictions are all right, and her views of
government, in the main, correct; but
she seems to have no power to resist her
child's importunity. He craves some improper gratification, and demands indulgence.   Thb. mother refuses.  The child
persists, because he has learned by experience that she does not really mean no
when she says it.  Why did she not teach
her darli:l', that important lesson:~i'::he
beginn;:.g, and thus save herself all this
31 
32       THE PARENTS' MAN JUAL.
trouble and annoyance? She did not;
and hence the child undertakes to reverse her decision, and with the full
assurance that he can accomplish his
object. It may cost a half-hour's teasing,
or a "flood of tears," or a violent fit of
passion, or a spasmodic display of affection, as the case may be; but the worn
and weary mother will surely yield. The
contest is only a matter of time: the
result is not doubtful. And what is the
influence of this fickleness upon the temper and life of the child? Does he love
his mother more tenderly? Is he more
amiable, gentle, obedient, and faithful
afterwards? No: he will become more
irritable and selfish, more demanding and
determined in his efforts to secure his
object. Develop the selfish propensities
of a child's nature, and his filial love will
be diminished in the same proportion.
The former is allowed to overgrow and 
PARENTAL MISMANAGEMENT.
cover up the latter. That mother is the
most earnestly loved by her children who
governs them with a firm and impartial
hand, whose decision always settles all
questions without controversy, and whose
promises are sure of fulfilment. Let parents carefully consider the requests of
their children asking indulgence; and,
when they have said yes or no, let that
always be understood to be the final
decision.
Second, Another method of spoiling
children I will call the impulsve. Parents
practising this method of government are
fi[ttl. They act towards their children as
they feel at the time.  In their genial
mood, unbounded indulgence is allowed
them: they discover no faults to be corrected; and will allow no punishments to
be inflicted, either at home or at school.
And yet, when the fit of passion comes
on, they assail their children with violence,
33 
34       THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
and chastise them in an unmerciful manner, and by means wholly unjustifiable
under any judicious system of training.
Pinching,  pushing,   cuffing,  flogging,
thumping, and shutting up in the dark
closet, are among the penalties inflicted.
These unfortunate children soon learn to
enjoy the sunshine, and to endure the
storm; but the influence of such treatment
upon their temper, habits, and life, is fearful. They have no confidence in the management of their parents, and can cherish
for them but a limited amount of affection. They grow up ill-tempered, fretful,
and disobedient, wholly unfitted for the
duties and responsibilities of mature life.
Third, I will allude to the scolding and
threatening methods of spoiling children.
Correction and reproof are proper and
necessary in family government; but constant fault-finding is wrong and ruinous.
To ignore the good, and always censure 
PARENTAL MISMANAGEMENT. 
the bad, tends to discourage the child,
and leaves him to contract habits of heed lessness, and to float along the current of
passion and evil influence, regardless of
consequences.  His good qualities  and
commendable conduct should be recognized, and encouraged by kind words of
approval In this way, that pride of
character and self-respect may be cultivated which will prevent much of the
wrong that parents are obliged to rebuke
and punish.
The habit of threatening children is
equally objectionable. The desire of the
parent is to enforce obedience without
severity; but the result is very different.
Obedience is not rendered, and the failure to secure it by threatening disarms
authority. Not only so, but every unexecuted threat gives the child an example of falsehood.  What does he care
about the oft-repeated assurance that he
35 
36        THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
will be "shut up in the dark closet," or
"sent to the cellar," or "skinned alive,
since he knows that neither the imprisonment nor the skinning is likely
to follow? Or if, by chance, the threatened punishment is undertaken, the child
well understands his own ability to wir
in the fight. Hie has learned to control
such parental weakness, and gain his object; and he will not fail to improve
every opportunity. And, when the actions of parents so often contradict their
words, children will naturally learn the
lesson, and contract the habit of lying.
What a harvest of insubordination and
misery has been reaped in those families
which have been reared under such mismanagement!
To avoid the contemplated evil, let
parents adopt the following negative
rules: -
Never threaten unless you design to
execute. 
PARENTAL MIISMAIAA GEMENT.
Never threaten a specific punishment
for an anticipated offence.
Never resort to stratagem in the man agement of children.
These are indeed golden rules in fami ly discipline; and, if strictly followed,
will "hide a multitude of sins."
Fourth, The flogging method of spoiling children must not be overlooked.
I do not mean to call in question the
propriety and necessity of sometimes
resorting to severity in the government
of children.  There are times when, literally, to "spare the rod " is to "spoil the
child." There are cases in the treatment
of which the severest punishment is not
only the first and only remedy, but an
expression of the greatest kindness;
and this severity is more often made
necessary by the mismanagement of
parents than by any other cause.
The  system  of  family  government
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37
I
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38       THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
which I here  condemn  adopts "flogging" as a rule. It offers a blow for
every offence. It does not recognize
kindness as the necessary acompanimelnt
of severity, and management as a better
way of preventing evil. Corporal punishment so employed appeals to the
lower nature of the child, and hence
does not secure the object.
I once called to account, for a slight
offence, a little boy seven years of age
who had been intrusted to my care.  I
said to him, "Now, Bertie, what shall I
do with you for thus disobeying my
orders?" His answer was, "Whip me,
of course." The little fellow had been
so roughly treated in his home relations,
that he knew of no other disciplinary
agency but "flogging;" and expected
this for every act of disobedience. And
he supposed still further, that this penalty, like penance, atoned for the crime. 
PARENTAL MISMANAGEMENT.
Hence he must infer that the fear of
punishment is the only motive to obedience. View this system as we may, it
tends to subvert the true idea of discipline, and to degrade its subjects in the
scale of moral beings.  No well-managed
and well-governed family needs such
treatment; and no wise and judicious
parent ever resorts to it.
Fifth, The persuasive is still another
method of spoiling children.
Persuasibn, and every other mild measure which tends to induce good behavior,
are legitimate agencies in family government. The moral power of gentleness,
forbearance, kindness, good example,
wholesome counsel, and proffered reward,
should be recognized, as well as the
moral power of reproof and punishment;
but none of these may ever take the
place of authority.
But the liability of mistake is not in
39
w 
40       THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
the use, but in the abuse, of gentle measures  in  the  training  of  the  young.
Moral suasion has its own proper sphere,
in the management of the family, to prevent evil. When the passions are unruffled, and the loyalty of our children is
unquestioned, it is Godlike to win and
control them by the power of affection.
It is proper, also, to rebuke and chastise
when they have abused our love, and
broken away from our authority.  This
spirit of disobedience manifests itself in
different ways, according to the disposition of the child and the circumstances
of the case,- sometimes in cool and deliberate disregard of our wishes, sometimes in sullen and determined hostility,
sometimes in passion that vents itself in
screams and angry tears, and sometimes
in open resistance.  In either case, it is
wrong and ruinous to attempt to coax
him into obedience. The effort may suc 
PARENTAL MISMANAGEIMENT.
ceed, and it may fail: it makes but little
difference which. Authority, which is
the only legitimate controlling power in
such cases, has either been entirely set
aside, or greatly weakened by an appeal
to argument. To resort to persuasion,
therefore, is a confession of weakness, and
a loss of governing power.
Sixth, Nearly allied to the persuasive
is the bribing method of spoiling  children.
Here, again, let me not be misunderstood.  I do not condemn the principle
of rewarding fidelity in family government.   This is just and proper when
rightly applied. But rewarding spontaneous and voluntary obedience on the
part of the child is quite another thing
from offering rewards to induce or restore
good behavior. In the first case, real
merit is compensated; in the second, a
price is paid the child for doing what ob
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, F.11
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42       TIHE PARENTS' MANUAL.
ligation and duty demand of all. In the
former instance, there is an acknowledged allegiance to parental control; and
submission to parental authority; in the
latter, the proffered reward becomes the
prevailing motive to action, and loyalty
is sacrificed to selfishness. Paying children for being good is not the exercise
of authority, nor can it secure obedience.
It is a ruinous bargain,-  a bounty upon
impudence and insubordination. In all
such traffic, disobedience becomes a currency in the family market to purchase
any desired indulgence. If a slight offence will induce the mother to give a
single piece of pie, cake, or candy, to her
rebellious child, stubbornness will purchase more, and a fierce open war still
more, to gratify a craving, perverted palate, and to weaken the sense of filial
obligation. The price paid for a tardy
compliance with parental commands in 
PARENTAL MIISMANAGEMENT.
duces the child to act from wrong motives, and hence becomes a bribe in the
hands of the parent.  Who can fail to see
the fearful train of evils that must follow
such a process of family government?
And yet is not a better method than
those here described, when adopted, the
exception, and not the rule, in our American families?
43 
V.
PARENTAL EFFICIENCY.
MAY now inquire for the true method
of family government. It is based
upon divinely-established authority. The
very relations of parents and children
demand absolute and unconditional control on the one hand, and obedience on
the other.
But this obedience is not, like filial
love and faith, instinctive. Every child
of common capacity turns to his mother
for food, and, with instinctive confidence,
seeks her sympathy and protection in the
hour of fright and danger. Hie cannot
be taught to love and confide in that
mother;   for affection  and  confidence
44
F 
PARENTAL EFFICIENCY.
spring up spontaneously in the young
heart. But not so with obedience. The
mother sometimes wonders and is grieved
that her darling, so affectionate, so confiding, and so dependent, does not always
and instantly regard her wishes and
obey her commands. But I can tell her
the reason. That child has no natural
impulse in that direction; has no idea of
submission. The habit of obedience is
yet to be created under parental discipline, and is wholly the work of education. Hence it must follow that insubordination in the family is not so much
the fault of children as of their parents.
Had the mother, fully conscious of her
right and duty in this regard, employed
her authority and strength to secure
obedience to her commands during infancy and childhood, stubbornness would
be unknown in that family. Should she,
then, become angry with her children
45
I 
46       THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
for faults which her own neglect has cultivated and encouraged? The child must
be tautg7ht obedience. The mother has
failed to enforce that lesson, and hence
her disappointment and grief. In the
exercise of mistaken kindness, she failed
to check the first indications of insubordination, and thus lost control over her
child, and laid the foundation for the
misrule and ruin which naturally follow.
But it may not be too late, even now, for
her to establish her authority, and correct
the evil.  Let her do this without delay,
and by any proper means necessary.
And how shall this authority be exercised so as to prevent the consequences
of disobedience? Authority, like gravity
in the material world, must always be
the controlling power in the family; but
it may generally be concealed. It is "a
power behind the throne," always acknowledged and constant in its influence;
I 
PARENTAL EFFICIENCY.
but its sceptre is invisible.  It operates
without friction, and holds in subjection
the conflicting and struggling passions
during the forming periods of childhood
and youth.
Authority is mild and gentle in its
more effective aspects.  When the mother makes it the basis of her government,
it is not necessary for her to assume sternness and severity towards her children,
nor to command them in a harsh and
abrupt manner. The more gentle, courteous, and kind in her expressions, the
better, if they understand them as the
mandates of authority, to be instantly
obeyed. Even the reasons for her requirements may be explained, when she
can properly leave the child to reflect
upon the course of conduct recommended, with a view of securing his approval. But, if a question of obedience
is pending, no reasons should be given.
47
I 
48      THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
The principle of simple submission to
authority must first be settled, and cheerful compliance secured.  Reasons should
never be offered as inducements to
secure obedience. If the mother stops
to parley with her rebellious child, he
will surely gain the victory.
Nor is this view of our subject inconsistent with indulgence. The mother
may indulge her children in all that is
beneficial and harmless, and forbear with
them when in fault, and yet exercise
over them absolute and supreme control.
Indeed, this very indulgence increases
her power to control them; and, when
her authority is justly and gently exercised, it serves to strengthen their love
and  confidence.   But, when  maternal
authority is sacrificed in an attempt to
win and hold childish affection, it is
always a failure. Children enjoy, for the
time, the mother's excessive indulgence;
I 
PARENTAL EFFICIENCY.
but they soon learn her weakness. As
years roll on, insubordination becomes
intolerable, and severe punishments necessary. Then they come to view her
imbecility with mingled emotions of
pity and contempt. Indulgence, without government, always tends to this
result; and just here the mistake is made
in family discipline. The only way to
gain the lasting love and gratitude of
our children is to govern them. Nor is
there, as I have already intimated, any
antagonism between free indulgence and
absolute control. Of course, they must
be restrained in every thing that is
dangerous or injurious; but they may
be gratified to any extent, and safely, in
every thing that is harmless, so long as
they cheerfully yield to acknowledged
authority.
Another principle of great importance
underlies family discipline. The child
5
49
I 
50       THE PARENTS' MAiVUAL.
must never gain any desired object by
disobedience; must never be gratified
by doing wrong. The favors bestowed
must reward only fidelity and submission.
And, still further, inconvenience, privation, or pain, must attend and follow
every act of transgression. This is according to the divine plan, after which
family government should be modelled.
And it must be certain that merited
punishment will follow every wrong act.
To illustrate: The child approaches too
near the fire, or puts his fingers into the
blaze of the candle; and, every time, he
suffers pain as a consequence. The result is, he  soon  learns  obedience  to
Nature's law, and keeps at a proper distance from the fire. A slightt pain, and
the positive certainty of suffering, have
accomplished the object. Now for the
application: Let the mother see to it
that every time her child disobeys her
I 
PARENTAL EFFICIENCY.
commands, or disregards her wishes, he
will suffer for the wrong, and she will
seldom have occasion to inflict 8evere
penalties. The certainty more than the
severity of the punishment makes it effectual.  I will call this treatment mild severity, and commend it to every thoughtful parent. If attended by steadiness,
firmness, and decision, it will accomplish
much more than scolding, threatening,
and wLipping.
Another important thought in this
connection. As far as possible, let the
punishment be the natural consequence
of the fault which has been committed.
For instance: Suppose the child always
throws down his hat which he is required
to hang upon the rack, and the mother
wishes to correct the habit.  She may
require him to return and hang up his
hat, and, as a penalty for the first offence,
detain him five minutes before he is
51
I 
52       THIE PARENTS' MANUAL.
allowed to return to his play; for the
second offence, ten minutes; and so on
until the habit is cured. Here the privation is associated with the fault, and
seems naturally to result from it. The
child has time for reflection, and feels the
influence of a strong motive to reform.
Or suppose the child is allowed a recess
from study, say for thirty minutes, but
he remains at play for forty minutes.
Let the mother punish him by shortening
his recess, first to twenty minutes, then
to ten, and finally allow him no time for
play until she is assured that he will return promptly as directed.
All such punishments are designed to
correct and cure the evil for the future
benefit of the child. They may be mild
or severe as the case requires, but should
never be vindictive, nor administered in
anger.   Promptness  and  firmness  are
demanded in correcting the faults of
I 
PARENTAL EFFICIENCY.
children, but harshness and ill-temper
never.
Kindness and sympathy are powerful
disciplinary agencies, and should always
accompany reproof and severity. Let
the child be made to understand that
every look of disapprobation, every
word of rebuke, and every penalty inflicted, is prompted by maternal love, and
the very fact will tend strongly to subdue the rebellious spirit. And mutual
sympathy between parents and children
operates to secure the same result.
Look at the natural effect of sympathy in
its material and mental  aspects.   The
habits of one person are imparted to the
whole company: cheerfulness and joy, or
sorrow and sadness, expressed by one individual, carry either happiness or gloom
to the hearts of the circle in which he
mingles. It is through sympathy that
mankind gain control over each other in
5*
53
I 
54       THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
the common affairs of life. They cherish
the feelings and embrace the opinions of
those they love; and, if these opinions
are changed in maturer years, it is more
the result of sympathy than argument.
Hence we  can readily understand  the
power of this principle over childhood.
The child is in full sympathy with the
true mother, clings to her in the hour
of danger, believes and confides in her
with  unwavering  confidence,  imitates
her actions, treasures up her words, and
imbibes her very feelings and emotions.
This results partly from the intimate relations they sustain to each other, and
partly from judicious training. The degree of love and confidence which the
child cherishes for his mother depends
upon the amount of sincere sympathy she
manifests in his childish hopes and fears,
joys and sorrows, recreations and amusements,  ideas  and  fancies.   The  more
I 
PARENTAL EFFICIENCY.
childlike the parent, the better qualified
she is to manage and guide her household. Hence the great importance of
gaining the confidence and love of our
children, and the still greater necessity
of being ourselves, in character and life,
what we desire them to become.
We have no right to expect that these
children will naturally do right, rather
than wrong. Facts are against such a
conclusion. Indeed, accountability presupposes instruction as to what is right
and wrong; and, when they begin to
recognize this distinction, both the good
and the bad in their conduct should
have our attention. We should not only
rebuke and punish the wrong, but also
commend the right with equal fidelity.
Serious mistakes are often made in dealing with the principle here involved.
For illustration: The child tells the
truth many times during the week, and,
55 
56       THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
in some instances, under special provocation to deceive; but the mother regards
truth-telling as a matter of course, and
offers  no  commendation.   Finally  the
temptation becomes too strong, and the
child tells a falsehood,- one lie against
many instances of truth-telling; and he
is assailed at once with reproaches and
punishments. The reproof and chastisement may be proper, both in kind and
degree; but, if the mother has failed to
commend her child for his fidelity, she
has omitted the most important part of
her duty. Such encouragement would
tend to form and strengthen the habit of
well-doing, and to weaken the power of
evil.  To commend pure thoughts, correct motives, and right actions, is to aid
the child in his efforts to establish a character of integrity and uprightness.
I do not mean by these suggestions
to encourage the indiscriminate praise
I 
PARENTAL EFFICIENCY.
and flattery of children by their parents
This would defeat the end in view by
cultivating vanity and self-conceit. Praise
what  is praiseworthy, rebuke what is
wrong; and the influence of parental
discipline will tend to develop only the
more noble elements of character.
There is one instance where the
mother never makes a mistake in the
application of this principle; viz., while
her children are learning the arts of
walking and talking.  Mark the feeble,
staggering, and awkward exhibition of
that little girl in her first attempts to
walk; and her half-uttered sounds, syllables, and words, as she attempts to express her rude thoughts  in  language.
But did any mother ever make such a
mistake as to scold and criticise her
little daughter for tottering to fall; for
her awkwardness, and the crookedness
of her way; or for her stammering
57
I 
58       TTHE PARENTS' MANUAL.
utterances?  Never: encouragement and
praise only fall from her lips. Every expression of her countenance and every
word she utters indicate her excessive
delight in the efforts and success of her
child. She knows that all those mistakes
and blunders result from weakness and
inexperience, and will in due  time be
corrected.
Why, then, cannot that mother pursue
the same course in the general management of her children? Most of their
imperfections result from childish weakness, as really as in walking and talking.
Let her commend their struggles to overcome temptations, and speak gently and
kindly of their faults, with the assurance
that time and experience will do much
to correct them. Develop the good, and
the evil will die out from neglect.   This
principle is of universal application.
Consider another point; viz., the ac
I 
PAREN7TAL EFFICIENCY.N
tivity of children, -the only examples
of "perpetual motion" yet discovered.
Whence this restlessness? It comes from
the earth, the air, and the sun, -the
great source of vitality discoverable in
animal and vegetable life. This force is
"pent up" in children, and is as necessary to their vitality and growth as
breathing is to their existence.  It muist
be liberated, and for the most part in
aimless activity, frolic, and mischief.
Why, then, censure or punish the child
for his restlessness?  He has no ability
to keep still, and it is an absolute wrong
to attempt to repress his activity. Physical development and health, and even
mental growth.and vigor, depend upon
it.  Parents  should  understand  these
laws, and adapt the treatment of their
children to this demand of their nature.
"Fun and frolic" are essential to childhood) and should be encouraged and
59
I 
60       TIIE PARENTS' MANUAL.
controlled, rather than restrained and
rebuked.
I have said that filial obedience is not
instinctive, but the result of education.
It is also true that reason and judgment
are not early developed. The mother
will be disappointed if she expects her
child to render spontaneous obedience to
her commands, or that he will judge correctly as to the safety or propriety of his
own actions. He never judges that it
is best to do what his own inclinations
disapprove.  He is not inclined to take
medicine, and cannot be argued into the
belief that it is best for him to do so.
He prefers to play rather than go to
school; and no amount of reasoning will
convince him that he should choose the
latter. He has formed an attachment for
unsafe playmates and companions, and
does not see the necessity of being removed from  them.   His judgment  is 
PARENTAL EFFICIENCY.
immature and unreliable, and hence
should not be appealed to in such
matters. He should be entirely under
parental direction and control during
this forming period of life.
Nor can we expect the child to know
an y           thing of justice, right, and duty,
until he has been instructed in regard to
the relations and obligations of human
society. To illustrate: Two children are
playing upon the floor, and find a toy
which both very much desire. Each is
governed wholly by his own selfish
wishes, and demands that toy exclusively
for himself; and a quarrel is at once inaugurated. But are these children in
fault, if they have never been taught the
justice, propriety, and duty of yielding
to              eac h other's wishes, and gratifying
each other's desires? So it is with truthfulness. Children know nothing of the
desirableness of truth-telling, or the wickl
6
61 
62       TIIE PARENTS' MANUAL.
edness of falsehood, unless they have
been taught this important lesson. IHow
canl they know even what truth is, unless
by instruction?
And what is truth to the child? He
is delighted with his newly-acquired
power of expressing ideas of external
objects by the use of words. He comes
in from his play, and says to his mother,
"Me see a horse."-" No," replies the
mother: "the horses are all out of doors.
You don't see a horse here in the house."
But he re-assures her by a repetition of
his childish expression.  Now, is that a
falsehood? or did the child tell the truth?
He did see the image of the horse formed
from the reality in his own mind;  and
was not that a reality to him?
Further to illustrate: The little boy is
about to join his brother in the yard to
play, and takes with him two apples
which his mother gives himn, with instruc 
PARENTAL EFFICIENCY
tion to share them with his brother. He
resolves, as he goes out, to divide with
him; but afterwards changes his mind,
and eats both himself. When he returns
from his play, his mother asks the boy if
he gave his little brother the apple; and
he replies that he did! And, as it was
in his thought and purpose in the beginning, the statement was true. Applied
to the act, it was false. But how can the
child, without more instruction and experience, be expected to analyze and
distinguish between these two cases,
and especially when he remembers, that,
only the day before, his mother told him
a "bear story" that had not one word
of truth in it?  Indeed, what is the
difference between the imafinary truths
which children sometimes tell and the
imaginary falsehoods which they hear
from their parents or read in their
sabbath- school books or other fiction
63 
64       TItE PARENTS' MA.NJAL.
provided for them by professional storytellers?
This view of the subject will, at least,
teach parents to deal gently and patiently
with the early falsehoods of their children,
which are often nothing more than the
fancies of their imagination. They have
no right to expect that young children
will, at first, understand and feel the obligation to speak the truth, and should be
all the more in earnest and faithful in
impressing upon their tender minds these
great moral lessons.  They need instruction and encouragement more than severe
rebukle or punishment. Let truthfulness
be commended, and the pure principles
and precepts of the Holy Bible be
brought to bear upon the heart and
conscience whenever any falseness and
wrong has been discovered in the conduct of the child. By such means, both
truth-telling and truth-loving will be in 
PARENTAL EFFICIEN CY.
culcated, until they shall ripen into
habits based upon settled principles of
integrity, and shall regulate and control
the life.
I will here repeat a fundamental principle in family government; viz., parental
authority must be absolute. The only
question touching this point, that will
admit of discussion, is, What means shall
be employed to establish and maintain
this authority? I have argued that gentle measures, if early and wisely employed, would always accomplish the
object; that dealing properly and faithfully with the mind and heart of the child
would enable the parents to avoid, for
the most part, the necessity of inflicting
physical pain. But such wisdom and
skill are not the birthright of all parents;
nor are they attainable by all. Some
lack the ability, others the requisite
knowledge, and still others firmness,
6*
65 
66       THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
patience, and perseverance, in the use of
the best methods of family government.
As a consequence, insubordination reigns
in many a household. Here the question
returns to us, Shall parental authority be
enforced?  I answer, unhesitatingly, in
the affirmative. It must be maintained by
mildness or severity, as the occasion may
demand. Taking families as we find
them, corporal punishment is sometimes
not only proper, but absolutely necessary;
and, when such cases occur, the punishment should be adapted to the circumstances of the case, and should be
promptly and faithfully administered,
not as "a last resort," or "an evil to be
deplored," but as an appropriate and
saving remedy. It should never be inflicted in anger, but always attended and
followed by kindness and sympathy.
"Solomon's rod," which, if "spared," will
"spoil the child," is undoubtedly a sym
r
I 
PARENTAL EFFICIENCY.
bol of authority, as the sceptre is the
symbol of power; but the right and duty
to establish and maintain authority implies the right and duty to use the literal
rod when necessary, as really as other
and milder measures. Those parents
accomplish the end enjoined by the precepts of Solomon who exercise complete
control over their children, either with
or without the infliction of bodily pain;
and those who fail to govern  "spoil"
their children; however freely they may
use the rod.
The principle here laid down is, that
the parent must govern, and the child
obey; and, if obedience is refused, it
must be enforced. It is unfortunate that
the mother, through neglect or mismanagement, has allowed her children to
grow up in rudeness and insubordination;
and that the father, through incapacity or
want of time, has failed to retain control
67 
68       THE PARENTS' M'ANUAL.
over them.  As the result, they become
more and more ungovernable in the
family; will carry their turbulent spirit
into the school and into society; and will,
in maturer life, defy the authority of the
State and the laws of God. But if such
habits have been formed, and this disobedience and recklessness  cannot  be
checked except by harsh measures, every
consideration of duty as parents, and of
affection and interest for the children,
urges this severe course of treatment.
The amputation of a mortified limb is
a terrible remedy; but it often saves life.
The  importance  of early training, to
secure obedience by gentle means, cannot
be over-estimated; but if this duty has
been neglected, and ill-temper and obstinacy in maturer life have brought these
children into collision with their parents,
they must be conquered and subdued.
Says the younger Edwards to a
friend, - 
PARENTAL EFFI'ICIENCY.
"Remember, there is but one mode of family govemment.  I have brought up and educated fourteen
boys, two of whom I brought up, or rather suffered to
grow up, without the rod. One of these was my
youngest brother; the other, Aaron Burr, my sister's
only son (both of them were orphans from infancy).
And, from my observation and experience, I tell you,
sir,'maple-sugar government' will never answer.
Beware how you let the first act of disobedience in
your little boys go unnoticed, and, unless evidence of
repentance be manifest, unpunished."
A practical question here urges itself
upon our consideration. Shall the child
be subdued in every instance, or punished
only for disobedience, and allowed to retire without submission? If the parent
has provoked the controversy, - as may
be the case by some rash or unreasonable
act of her own, -it may be the easiest if
not the best way to solve the difficulty,
to regard the act of disobedience as final,
and punish for this alone, leaving the
command out of the question. But there
is danger in this course, even in such
69 
70       THE PARENTS' MAN UAL.
cases. The child has rebelled, and has
been punished simply for disobedience.
He has not submitted:  his punishment
has not subdued him. Indeed, he has
virtually conquered in the contest.
The parent should avoid, with great
care, every unnecessary provocation;
should see to it that her commands are
reasonable, and are given in the right
spirit; and then she may insist upon
unconditional and immediate obedience.
If this is refused, she should proceed to
enforce her orders, and never dismiss the
case until this object is accomplished.
No definite rule can be given as to the
kind and degree of punishment to be
inflicted in such cases: each judicious
mother may settle that question for herself.
The principle is unchangeable: obedience
must be rendered; but the method of securing this result may be varied by
circumstances. There are certain kinds
I
I 
PARENTAL EFFICIENCY.,
of corporal punishment, however, which
are never proper or tolerable. Among
these are standing or sitting for a long
time in an unnatural position, holding weights in the outstretched hand,
and shaking the child by hold upon
his shoulders.   Such violence threatens
physical injury, and therefore is wrong.
When severe punishments are needed,
they should be adapted to the circumstances of the offence, and inflicted
promptly,  deliberately,  and  so  thoroughly that a repetition will not be
called for.
71
F 
VI.
CHARACTER AND HABITS.
HE character and habits of childhood
are the results of family-training, and
they will re-appear in manhood. Hence
the great importance of parental care
and solicitude as they contemplate their
duty from this stand-point. The child
must establish a character of integrity,
and be trained to habits of honesty,
benevolence, and industry, or he will be
lost to himself and to society. And yet
how many parents not only impart no
practical lessons to aid in forming this
character and these habits, but, by their
own life and management, encourage
dishonesty, selfishness, and indolence!
72 
CHARACTER AND HABITS.
They practise deception in dealing with
their children, and thus teach them to be
false. They make promises which they
never fulfil, threaten punishments which
they never inflict, and sometimes tell
their children absolute falsehloods in regard to their food, medicine, or sports.
They do not realize the fact nor understand the influence of such treatment
upon the heart and character of susceptible childhood; but it must be
disastrous. Their own example of truthfulness- should be accompanied by positive moral lessons drawn from life and
from the Scriptures of truth touching
this subject to enforce the precepts of
honesty.
Selfishness, too, is often encouraged
and cultivated under parental example.
We  may  not  expect  benevolence  to
spring up spontaneously in the heart of
the  cl ild.  It is a  plant  of  tender
7
73 
74       TIHE PARENTS' MANUAL.
growth, and must be nourished by
divine as well as human influence.
Without  knowledge   and  experience,
the child cannot appreciate the rights
and wants of others, nor his own duty
in regard to them. HIis first attention
must necessarily be directed to himself;
and the natural tendency of his life is
to form selfish habits.   To  counteract
this tendency, and to cultivate the feeling and habit of benevolence, is evidently an important  duty of parents.
Indeed, it is through parental fidelity
alone that the divine promise,  " Train
up a child in the way he should go, and
when he is old he will not depart from
it," can be realized.  The evil contemplated is often the result of excessive
care and indulgence. If all the wants
of the child are anticipated, and every
iember of the household is accustomed
to run at his bidding, the "little dar 
CtIARACTER AND HABITS.
ling" will have a right to conclude that
he is the most important person on the
premises, and will expect and demand
unlimited  gratification.   So  indulged
and gratified, the habits of self-denial
and self-reliance, which are indispensable
to success and happiness in life, will not
be formed; nor will the ear be trained
to listen to the calls of mercy and
benevolence.
HARMILESS INDULGENCE.
The indulgence of children in every
thing that is harmless, as I have said, is
eminently proper. We have, therefore,
only to distinguish between the harmnless
and iarnful, to understand and avoid the
contemplated evil. Whatever endangers
life is harmful; and hence children must
not be indulged in eating poison, or
playing upon the margin of a precipice.
Whatever endangers health is harmful;
75 
76       THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
and hence eating at improper times, in
improper quantities, or of improper food,
and especially of those luxuries which
serve only to gratify a perverted appetite, should never be allowed. Whatever
tends to deprave the moral character, or
to cultivate and strengthen the selfish
propensities, is hamful; and hence "evil
communications," corrupting literature,
and every degrading habit, should be
strictly prohibited.
Our cities are thronged with young
men from the country who are on the
highway to ruin through want of selfrestraint, and love of pleasure. And
where and how were these victims of
dissipation, lust, and crime, trained? I
answer, In the home school of selfishness,
and under the instruction of their own
unwise and too-indulgent parents.  The
depraved appetite was there formed, and
the selfish passions there cherished and 
CHARACTER AND HABITS.
indulged. Can it be possible that the
seed sown in early childhood, and watered by the tears and warmed by the
sunlight of parental love, has sprung up,
grown, and ripened into such a fearful
harvest? It is even so. The enemy
"sowed  tares" while the divinely ordained guardians of the home "slumbered and slept."
And  vanity, another form of selfishness, i s the product of early training, and
more      often in matters of dress.  How
numerous the young women of our land
who      have become the victims of fashion
and folly; who disdain solid culture and
genuine refinement; who seek their greatest enjoyment in the gay assembly, at
places of amusement, and over the latest
and most exciting novel; and who, with
distorted views of life, judge of merit by
the   false standard of wealth and social position! They too often ignore superior tal
7*
77 
78.  THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
ents and high attainments unless decked
in the splendor which money can purchase. Such vanity and selfishness can
plead no apology, anid can find no cure.
But who has distilled such wasting folly
into the minds of these daughters?  Was
it not the mother's example and precept
that first gave her little girl a fondness
for dress, and an admiration for fashionable display, which, in her riper years,
occupy all her time and thoughts? Children should be tastefully and neatly
dressed, and should acquire a love for
the beautiful in nature and art; but they
should be taught, at the same time, the
proper use of apparel, and the great excellence of moral and intellectual attainments  to  elevate  and  adorn  female
character. If properly taught and managed through the period of girlhood,
they will become women who may have
wealth and culture without being proud 
CHAI?ACTER AND HABITS.
and vain; who may become fashionable
in the true sense of that term, and yet
judge themselves and others by the approved standard of excellence.
EMULATION.
Selfishness in the child is developed
also through emulation. We must here
distinguish between the good and the
bad in the application of this principle.
Emulation that seeks excellence and distinction for their own sake, and for the
advantages they bring to their possessor,
is commendable. It implies a strong desire for superiority; but it has honor for its
basis, and a desire for greater usefulness.
Hence Dryden says with propriety,
"A noble emulation heats your breast."
But, when competition degenerates into
rivalry, it engenders envy, resentment,
and detraction, and seeks only self-grati
79 
80       THE PARENTS' MAN UAL.
fication.  The former atims to merit success: the latter is satisfied to obtain it.
An appeal to this principle in the family
or school usually awalkens only an envious and selfish ambition. And hence
the offering of prizes to the one who
shall excel all others in a given task is
open to serious objections.   Such a prize
is not a reward of merit, but of success,
which is often gained through superior
ability or superior advantages, and at
the expense of every noble and generous
feeling. This kind of emulation may
secure to one or two of a class a higher
order of attainments; but this is frequently gained at the sacrifice of that generous sympathy and true manliness which
are the only sure guaranty of future success and usefulness. The many who have
made the greater effort, and are really
more deserving, are wronged, and the
successful competitor is always injured 
CHARACTER AND HABITS.
more than benefited by such promotion.
Pride and selfishness, under such training,
soon become the ruling passion of his
heart. Hence I would say to parents,
as I have said to teachers, Let all prizes
offered to children be based upon real
merit; and let them be given to all the
deserving, instead of one.
Again: selfishness sometimes degenerates into dishonesty, which manifests
itself in the little business transactions
among children. A favorite son, for
instance, boasts that he has "got the
best end of the bargain" in exchanging
knives or pencils with his playmates;
and his doting father smiles approvingly
upon his success, and marks this act of
shrewdness as evidence of special business talent. The boy has had the example, it may be, of his father and of his
father's neighbors, and has observed that
over7reaching is the common  habit  of
81 
82       THE PARENTS' AfANUAL.
many in society in the transactions of
every-day life; and why may he not
practise sharpness, and be commended
for it?   If petty fraud is so common
among men, why may not their sons follow
their example, and learn the art of trade
thus early? Is it strange that we so
often read of theft and forgery, and
peculations from government, and embezzlements from bank and railroad corporations, when so many of our youth
are trained in the school of selfishness
from early childhood? Whatever we desire to have expressed in the nation's life
must be taught to our children both by
example and precept. And what so important as strict integrity and benevolence, in distinction from dishonesty and
selfishness? But these habits, also, must
be formed under faithful family training,
if they are to appear in practical life.
They are based upon the golden rule of 
CHARACTER ANVD HABITS.
Christianity, "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself;" and in this loving and
doing for others "there is great reward."
It is not in receiving benefits from our
fellow-men or from God that we experience the greatest happiness, but in laboring for their good, and in the exercise of
the benevolent spirit. And this important lesson can be easily impressed upon
the tender hearts of children by teaching them to share their food and playthlings with each other. Unfortunate is
that mother who has only one child to
train for her country and her God;
unfortunate indeed is that child who has
no brothers or sisters to call forth his
generous sympathies and self-denying
actions. He may, on this very account,
grow  up  a  "spoiled  child" through
selfish indulgence. But that child who
has learned this important lesson in
early life may have begun a journey
83 
84       THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
across the continent, or a voyage across
the ocean, to carry civilization and Christianity to the destitute and needy.
INDUSTRY.
To the same end, children should be
trained to habits of industry. "The idle
brain is the Devil's work-shop." And
this is not all: industry rightly under stood and directed calls into exercise
the benevolent feelings. Children should
be taught to work voluntarily and cheer fully, and for the sake of helping their
parents and doing good to all around/
them. And this helpful service may be
rendered still more extensively, as op portunity offers, by earning money,  not
to be spent for their own gratification,
but to enable them to contribute of
their own means for the relief of suf fering humanity.   To  forget self, and
love others, is Godlike;  and this is a 
CHARACTER AND HABITS.
very important lesson for childhood to
learn.
Hiow instructive the answer of our
Saviour to the bigoted Jews who sought
to slay him because he wrought miracles
on the sabbath day! - "My Father worketh      hitherto, and I work."  The "Father
worketh." Prompted by infinite love,
he works for the welfare of his creatures;
and it is only through the working of
his power that his love is manifested.
Christ worked to relieve the suffering
poor, to comfort the afflicted, to bind up
the broken heart, and to breathe into the
benighted soul conscious of sin and guilt
the sunlight of hope, joy, and blessedness. And he is our example. The
spirit he manifested, and the lessons he
taught, should be imparted to our children, that they may become co-workers
with hi m in the world's elevation and
redemption. For the want of such train             8
85 
86       THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
ing, how many young men of our day
are spending their lives in indolence, and
wasting their energies both of body and
mind in useless or ruinous indulgence!
And how many young women, lost to
every noble sentiment and aim in life,
spend their years in the cold formalities
of etiquette, in frivolous gossip among
their equals, and in dressing and pleasureseekling! Let parents, if they can, estimate the consequences of such habits to
their children and to the world, and they
will have a measure of their own remissness in neglecting duties so important.
GOOD MAWNERS.
The family should also be a school of
good manners. Manners and morals are
intimately connected. One is the counterpart of the other, and both are indispensable to constitute the true man or
woman.  To quote an illustration which
r_ 
CHARACTER AND HABITS.
I have employed in another worlk,
"Morals are the basis of human character;  and  manners  are its decorations,
which serve to make it more attractive
and lovely. Morals are the staple of
human laws, and the regulators of human
governments; and refined manners serve
as gildings to make laws more effective,
and government more secure." And,
while I urge the necessity of training
children to habits of integrity and virtue,
I claim that it is also the duty of parents
to give 8special attention to their manners.
It is a mistaken notion that morality, or
even piety, alone, will so far regulate
the conduct that social culture will be
unnecessary. How often do we have
occasion to regret the lack of refinement
in those whose characters we admire! and
all the more do we pity them because
of their generosity and goodness. Such
persons would not violate the laws of
87
r —l  
88       THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
good breeding, if they knew it; but, to
their sorrow, they have learned that
canons of etiquette are not found in
creeds and codes of Christian morals.
They are liable to come to our table
with "dirty nails," or to "mop  their
foreheads" with their napkins; and yet
they would be utterly ignorant that they
had given offence by so doing.
Good manners must be taught in the
family, both by precept and example, if
we expect our children to become true
gentlemen and ladies, fitted to mingle in
refined society.  It is not sufficient occasionally to tell them how they should
behave, and to rebuke them for some
grave offence. They must be trained to
habits of politeness with as much care
as to habits of obedience and integrity.
No father would expect his son to understand practical  engineering without
much study and p)ractice. No mother 
CHARACTER AND HABITS.
expects her daughter to become a skilful pianist without critical instruction
and long-continued recitations. And how
absurd to suppose that gracefulness of
manners can be acquired by hearing the
rules of good behavior, or reading manuals of etiquette! But many children do
not enjoy even these privileges. They
grow up entirely ignorant of the first
principles of politeness; and, when compelled to go into society, they experience
painful embarrassment in consequence of
their deficiency. This is not their fault;
but it is none the less the source of their
torture.
In other families the theory of civility
may be taught, and rudeness sometimes
rebuked; and yet the laws of politeness
are practically disregarded.
To illustrate: The mother goes out to
make an evening call, and takes with her
a little son; and she is mortified to see
8*
89 
90       THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
him standing in the hall with his hat on,
conversing with the lady of the house;
and she rebukes him severely for his
rudeness. Now, if this mother had required her son to uncover his head whenever he came into her presence, would
he have been guilty of such a mistake?
The children carry their homne habits into
society. If the little daughter has been
required to practise civility in her intercourse with the family, she will not fail
to make a graceful salutation when she
meets the stranger at a public party.
To secure these desirable results, there
must be constant home-training in the
art of good behavior; and this children
have a right to expect and demand of
their parents. They must be taught how
to enter and leave a room; how to
bow, walk, turn, sit, rise; how to introduce people to each other; how to behave at the table; and, in a word, how 
CHARACTER ANRD IIABITS.
to conduct themselves under the varied
circumstances of life. Then will they be
fitted for access to refined society, and to
come under the influence and instruction
of the wise and cultivated.
But some maintain that the cultivation of habits of courtesy tends to make
children affected; and affectation, they
say, is more offensive than awkwardness.
"Children must be allowed to be natural." But it is natural for some children
to eat greedily, and with their knives,
at the table, and entirely to neglect their
superiors. Others are naturally inclined
to slouch into the presence of strangers
with their heads covered, to speak in a
loud and boorish manner, to use the
parlor as if it were a gymnasium, and to
interrupt and contradict their parents
when conversing with visitors.  Should
such natural habits be tolerated, or corrected? But, under faithful early train
91 
92       THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
ing, children become civil and courteous
without being affected.
SELF-RELIANCE.
I have alluded to the importance of
self-reliance as a practical habit in life.
It cannot be over-estimated; nor will
parents be likely to give this thought
too much prominence in the training of
their children.
Helplessness and dependence are conditions of infancy and childhood; but children cannot always lean upon parental
arms. They must be taught self-reliance.
The child, at first, has no confidence
in his own ability to walk. He totters
and falls because he does not trust his
own  strength to sustain  him.   Hence
the mother holds his outstretched hand,
and leads him to his destined goal; or
he leans upon a chair by which he has
learned to measure his doubtful steps. 
CHARACTER AND HABITS.
Now, how does the mother teach her darling to walk?  Not by giving him more
strength, but by teaching him self-reliance.- Hie must learn to walk by walking; and after a few trials, with proper
assistance, he is left in the middle of the
floor, and encouraged to come to his
mother's arms. No matter if he cries
for help: he must not be assisted. No
matter if he tumbles: the effort will
give him confidence, and this confidence
will give him success. In a similar manner he must be taught to take care of
his own person, to provide for his own
wants, and to depend upon his own
efforts for the accomplishment of every
desirable object.
It is the special duty of parents to
cultivate the habit of self-reliance in
their children in every thing relating to
active life. If they fail in this in any
instance, the child's education is necessa
93 
94       TIlE PARENTS' MANUAL.
rily defective, and his future success will
be doubtful.
Circumstances, however, sometimes do
for children what parents have failed to
do. They are born in honest poverty,
and trained in the school of industry.
Their straitened circumstances have compelled them to form the very habits upon
which success depends. Such parents
often envy their more wealthy neighbors,
and lament that they cannot furnish their
own children the means of personal gratification and the aid which many of their
associates enjoy. But what facts does
the history of these families reveal? Often
the children of poverty succeed, while
those reared under the influence of wealth
fail. And why? I answer, Because the
poor man's sons are compelled to form
habits of industry, self-reliance, and economy, and early to shift for themselves;
while those who inherit riches sometimes 
CHARACTER AND IIABITS.
live in indolence and luxury which result
in dissipation, or in helplessness and dependence. Our country could furnish
many living illustrations of this truth.
Every neighborhood, every public institution, and every profession, has its examples.
But there are noble exceptions to this
rule, where children improve their easy
circumstances to secure a higher degree
of self-culture, and to gain a higher position in life. The necessities of poverty,
if accompanied by integrity and virtue,
may prove a greater blessing to a family of children than the possession of
wealth; and yet the children of wealthy
parents should be so trained in early
life, that their money Fill not prove a
temptation to indolence, but an incentive and aid to greater industry and
more noble efforts.
95 
96       THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
SELF-CULTURE.
Again: self-reliance is indispensable to
self-culture, which is the only condition
of intellectual and moral growth. All
available instruction is drawn from the
child's own resources. True education is
not imparted, but self-produced. It results from the exercise of the powers to
be developed.  And this work begins, not
in the school, but in the mother's arms;
and  success  or failure  depends  much
upon her training. To call forth and
direct the energies of mind and soul is
her special work. Activity is the conltrolling agency, and growth and progress
the sure results.  Coleridge  once said,
"There is no standing still with the mind:
if it is not rising upward to become an
angel, it is sinking downward to become
a devil." With what care, therefore,
should this mental and moral activity be
directed! The elements of true manhood 
CHARACTER AND HABITS.
and womanhood are inborn; but they can
be developed only by culture. Self-help
and self-reliance are both the means
and the conditions of success in life.
Knowledge does not spring from intuition. The mind is not merely a receptacle into which the lore of the schools can
be poured, but an activity to cull out
and appropriate whatever is valuable in
books, lectures, social intercourse, and
the voice of the living teacher. These
rouse the intellect to action, and develop
its latent energies. Now, the thought
to be emphasized in this connection is,
that education is a process of self-development, which should be encouraged by
parents to the extent of their ability.
Children should be required to do their
own thinking, and to draw their own inferences. They should be told but little,
but induced to discover as much as
possible. They should solve their own
9
97' 
98       TIlE PARENTS' MANUAL.
problems, and be instructed only as to
how to apply themselves to the worlk.
Outside help weakens the power of selfinstruction. It is the business of the
mother and teacher to guide the intellect
to its appropriate food, to awaken its
appetites, and fix the attention. In this
way the child may be early taught the
lesson of self-reliance, and habituated to
the work of successful self-culture.
PRACTICAL LIFE.
And our children must be trained for
the practical duties of the business world.
If they live, the time is not far distant
when they must shift for themselves.
To  insure  success, they must  acquire
habits of integrity, prudence, and economy; they must learn the value and
proper uses of money, and must become
self-reliant and industrious.   And it is
evident that home - training must be
i 
CHARACTER AND HABITS.
chiefly relied upon for the needed instruction and discipline.   Hence the money
question, in the management of children,
may be properly discussed in this connection.  Children, like older persons, desire
what money will purchase; and the practical question is, To what extent and in
what manner shall they be gratified?
The only way for them to learn the
use of money, either for their present or
future benefit, is by usi)g it.
How, then, shall our children be taught
practically the important principles of
political economy? The more common
way of furnishing them money is to give
only when they ask for it, and in quantities determined by the frequency and importunity of their calls. Let us inquire
how this method operates in a practical
way.   If the boy finds that he  can be
gratified only through importunity and
servility, he will soon lose all feelings of
99
I......::
. I
t...,.:',,: -,,-'
I.. 
TIlE PARENTS' MANUAL.
delicacy and manly pride in businessmatters. Hie will learn to gain his object through artfulness and pertinacity,
and will have little inducement to take
care of his money, to form plans of expenditure, or to practise self-denial. The
amount to be obtained does not depend
upon his frugality or financial skill, but
upon his coaxing and persistency. Hence
the tendency of this fitful and uncertain
method of obtaining money is to foster
the growth of all the ignoble propensities
of the boy's nature, and to discourage
the cultivation of his better qualities.
I may, therefore, venture here to suggest
"a more  excellent way."  Let parents
fix upon a definite sum of money to be
given to the child at stated times. It
may be a weekly or monthly allowance,
of such an amount as is thought best for
the child to control. This should always
be promptly paid, and left entirely at
100
X-....1*.I 
i'......
'     
Vfd  dr   *g*ll
I 
CHARACTER AND HABITS.
the disposal of the party receiving it.
Prompt payments by parents tend to cultivate the same habit in children; and
giving them control of their own money
enables the parents to instruct them, and
to train them from their earliest years, to
habits of forecast, thrift, economy, and
benevolence. They must be taught to
distinguish between the useful and the
injurious, and encouraged to spend their
money only for what is harmless or really
beneficial, for their own gratification; and
to contribute to the relief of the suffering
and needy, remembering that "it is more
blessed to give than to receive."
It is sometimes objected that this
method of furnishing money to children
leads  them to regard these regular payments as debts, instead of gifts, from their
parents, and hence they are liable to lose
all feelings of obligation; but it is not
necessarily so. This systematic arrange
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101
r 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
merit does not prevent occasional gifts as
rewards of merit, or expressions of parental affection. The object to be gained is
the cultivation of correct habits in the
use of money and in business-life more
than the winning of affection. Besides,
the bestowing of too many gifts upon
children results in the cultivation of selfishness instead of love and a sense of
obligation. This should be avoided.
I will here allude to a modification of
the method of furnishing money to children above recommended,  which  may
be still better. Instead of giving the
money at stated periods, let parents open
an account with their children, or establish a savings-bank where they can deposit
their money for safe keeping. Let each
one have a separate book of suitable size,
and properly ruled, in which the weekly
allowance is to be credited, and all
sums which the child desires to draw
102
_, 
CHARACTER AND HIABITS.
be charged. This obviates the necessity
of prompt payments, and enables children early to become acquainted with
business forms, and habituated to the
management of their own affairs, in a systematic manner; and after a short time,
and with proper instruction, they can
keep their own books, and transact their
own  business.   In  this  way  parents
really open with their children a kind of
savings-bank, encouraging them to allow
to remain on interest the larger part of
their income, adding interest to principal,
until enough has accumulated to make
some profitable investment for the distant future. Thus will something be
saved, and such business habits formed
as will tend to secure success in maturer
life. Under proper instructions, and
after limited practice, these children will
need but little dictation or restraint as
to the manner of spending or investing
103
I 
TlEI PARENTS' MANUAL.
their money. They will form a correct
judgment, and acquire an accuracy and
self-reliance which will be invaluable to
them. Better allow them to make some
blunders, to be corrected, than to deprive
them of the benefit of the discipline. We
may be as generous as we please with
our children; but all business with them
should be transacted with promptness
and accuracy,  in a  business-like tray.
Thus may we hope to prepare them for
success and usefulness in riper years.
104
I 
VII.
RELIGIOUS TRAINING.
THE lvast importance of religious
training for our children must not,
for a moment, be lost sight of. I urge
this point, not only in view of the personal relations of these children to society, but in view of their own duty and
happiness in their eternal relations to
God.
It is conceded by all that morality is an
indispensable element in individual or national character. But, without religion,
there could be no morality. Religion
takes every principle, a     nd rule of morals,
under its peremptory sanction; and every
pure precept which has ever been incul                                105 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
cated, either by infidels or Christians, has
had one common origin,- the inspired
word of God.
Infidelity is an element of national
decay. The State could hope to gain no
strength in the future from an army of
children educated exclusively under its
influence.  Such a training could not fit
them for the duties of citizenship in a
Christian community, and under laws
founded upon Christian principles.
The  elements of  a noble manhood,
which develop and inspire Christian patriotism, are not inborn. Benevolence,
love of truth, sobriety, and industry,
spring not from inclination or habit,
but result from the teachings and regenerating power of the gospel. Our youth
must be educated under its influence,
and imbued with its spirit, if we may
hope for the prosperity and perpetuity
of the republic.
106
If 
RELIGIOUS TRAINING.
The religious training of their children
is the first duty of parents;  and they
must take this work into their own
hands. So said the inspired penman
when giving the Decalogue to the Jews:
"And these words, which  I command
thee this day, shall be in thy heart;
and thou shalt teach them diligently
unto thy children, and shalt talk of them
when thou sittest in thy house, and when
thou walkest by the way, and when thou
liest down, and when thou risest up."
And a still higher authority enjoins
upon  parents  the  same  great, duty:
"Suffer little children to come unto me,"
said our Saviour. This injunction is addressed directly to all fathers and mothers to whose care have been committed
"little children." Now is the time when
they are to be instructed in divine things,
and when  they are to be suffered and
directed to come to Jesus, the great
107 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL
Teacher and Guide of sinful men. Their
minds are just opening to understand the
visible and invisible things which are
revealed; their hearts are now tender and
susceptible of durable impressions; and
their growing life is waiting, as it were,
to be directed by the loving hand of the
mother into the path of duty, peace, and
usefulness.
The personal welfare of our children
recurs for our consideration. A life of
virtue and piety stands opposed to a life
of vice and crime. The former is a life
of happiness; the latter, of misery. The
one leads to honor and usefulness; the
other, to disgrace and ruin. And no
right-minded parent can be indifferent
as to which of these paths his children
tread. Vital interests are involved in
this question, when contemplated only
from a worldly stand-point; and when
we admit the doctrine of a future and
108 
RELIGIOUS TRAININVG.
endless life, of which the present is but
an introduction, and for which it is a
preparation, the subject assumes a fearful
importance.  The  duty  of parents, in
obedience to the divine injunction, to
teach the great truths of Christianity diligently unto their children, now becomes
imperative and imposing.
And what truths of Christianity are so
important for our children to understand?
I answer, first of all, that great truth in
subordination to which all the moral precepts of the Decalogue are proclaimed;
viz., that there is one, and only one, great
First Cause, who is the source of all
human obligations, and the only object
of human worship. This is the foundation of all revealed truth. Without it
human life is a desert, shut in on every
side by an impenetrable horizon. With out this truth, man knows nothing of
his origin, and nothing of his end. Let
10
109
I 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
parents, therefore, teach this to their
children, with all the accompanying precepts, so well calculated to regulate human conduct and inspire human hopes.
And "suffer" the little children to come
to Jesus, the perfect exemplification of
all religious truth. Send them not to
the schools of the Pharisees to learn lessons of morality, dogmas, and creeds, but
to Him  "who  teaches as  never  man
taught."  Induce them  to  imitate  his
example, obey his precepts, and cherish
his spirit, and they will attain to a higher
morality, a purer life, and more exalted
joys, than human philosophy has ever
taught. The yearning tenderness which
has flowed from the words and deeds of
Christ towards "little children" is well
calculated to call forth their love, and win
them to obedience.
The truth of God's existence and attribUtites can be impressed upon the minds
two 
RELIGIOUS TRAINING.
of children by directing their attention
to  the  visible  creation.    The  starry
heavens above them speak of his goodness, wisdom, and power; the wide expanse of living verdure, fertile fields,
shady groves, and blooming gardens,
express his constant love and bountiful
care. All Nature proclaims a God, and
invites us to reverence and adore.
Instruction in these great truths must
be drawn from the Holy Bible. We can
direct our children to no other fountain,
can give them no other guide of life, and
can point them to no other Saviour, than
is herein revealed. Here are unfolded
the institutions of the gospel, the means
of grace, and every duty that man owes
to his fellow-man and to God. It is our
special duty, therefore, as parents, to impress upon their tender minds the pure
principles drawn from these sacred pages.
But children must be dealt with as
lil 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
children. They should not be so introduced to the theory and practice of
Christian principles and observances as
to be repelled and disgusted: they should
be allured to the delightful paths of virtue
and piety.
They cannot comprehend the unmeaning technicalities of religion; and hence
parents should not read to them homilies
on Christian ethics or systematic theology. The truth must be opened to their
minds through their own channels  of
thought and action. Childhood must be
amused. Its innocent sports are its very
life and activity;  and, as intimated in
another connection, this activity is the
only condition of its development and
growth. Children, therefore, in their
freedom, and in the use of their toys,
obey an imperative law of their being.
The question is, Hiow far in their religious
culture should they be restrained? The
112
I 
RELIGIOUS TRAINING.
sabbath was made for children as well as
for men and women.   But was it designed to abridge their freedom, and cut
off all their enjoyments? Must all their
books and toys be laid aside, and they be
subjected to a formal service for which
they have no taste, and in which they can
now take no pleasure? If so, the sabbath will become a burden, to be anticipated with dread, and endured with
impatience, and all its beneficial influence
worse than lost to these children. It
must follow, therefore, if parents would
bring their children under a wholesome
religious influence, they must make the
sabbath a delight; must adapt its duties
to their nature; and select and control
their amusements, instead of suppressing
them.   The Divine Master delights to
see "little children" happy on the sabbath as well as on week-days; and must
approve of their freedom and childish
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THE PARENTS' MANUAL
glee, if only it can be tempered and
sweetened by a holy religious influence.
I will not presume to specify as to how
these desirable results can be secured,
but would earnestly enjoin upon all parents who seek the religious welfare of
their children, as far as possible, to make
the principles and precepts of our holy
religion pleasant and attractive to them.
"And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath; but bring them up in the
nurture and admonition of the Lord; "
remembering that they who bequeath to
their children the results of a thorough
Christian education endow them with
riches more valuable and enduring than
silver and gold.
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I 
VIII.
INTELLECTUAL CULTURE.
"'Tis education forms the common mind:
Just as the twig is bent, the tree's inclined."
HOSE  parents make a grave mistake
who rely solely upon the public
school for the mental training of their
children. This discipline should begin
early at home, and under the most careful supervision. As soon as the child
opens his eyes and puts forth his little
hands, as soon as his senses come in
contact with the material world, the
mind begins to drink in knowledge, and
expand by means of its own activity.
The                  foundations of the man's education
are laid mainly in the home of his child                                  115 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
hood, and before he has reached the
proper school-age.  Faithful early hometraining is, therefore, of the utmost importance.
"Just as the twig is bent, the tree's inclined."
Neglect or improper instruction in
childhood may result in waste and failure in riper years. The "twig" must
be properly "bent," that the tree may be
developed in symmetrical and stately proportions. The growth of the tree results
from its own vitality; but the shape and
direction of its trunk and limbs depend
upon its trimming and training. So also
in education. Self-culture is the only
means  of sound mental  development;
but this must be inspired, directed, and
controlled, during childhood, by parental
fidelity and wisdom.
And first of all, and mainly, hometraining should consist in the discipline
of the observing faculties. Books are
116
I 
INTELLECTUAL CULTURE.
little needed at this period, except so far
as they may aid in directing attention
to the real objects by which the child is
surrounded, and in explaining their qualities and uses.  The mind of the child
opens upon a world of objects, and his
education must impart mainly object-lessons.
A thirst for knowledge is inherent in
every human mind, and is early manifested.   The  child observes, and soon
learns to distinguish his friends and benefactors from strangers. He watches with
intense interest every motion that comes
within range of his vision; he grasps
every solid object placed within his
reach,- the watch, the pencil, the knife,
the toy, - and bears it to his mouth, seemingly to make more sure the knowledge
of its peculiar properties by the aid of
two senses at once; and, as soon as this
child has gained the power of locomo
117 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
tion, he goes in search of objects to the
extreme limit of his little dominion.
When the power of speech is gained, he
hastens to call every thing by its proper
name, and to ask endless questions as to
its nature and utility.
Here, then, is the parent's opportunity
to commence the work of education.
First, it is the instructor's duty to remove
from reach and sight, as far as possible,
all objects which the child may not handle; secondly, to select such toys for the
child's use as are proper and the most
interesting; and, finally, to be ready to
answer all inquiries, and to impart such
instruction as each subject will admit.
Another important thought in this connection,   the child should have the earnest sympathy of the parent in all his
efforts to gratify curiosity and gain
knowledge, in all his sports and games.
The parent should give attention wheii
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INTELLECTUAL CULTURE.
the child, delighted, holds up his newfound treasure: he should smile upon
his expressed enthusiasm, and encourage
his search for truth. Kind looks and
gentle words have a magic power over
the mind of childhood under such circumstances.
Among the first practical lessons to be
imparted in the examination of the objects
which occupy the attention of the child
are the names, parts, qualities, and uses
of these objects.  For illustration, take
the object dinner-bell, with which every
child is familiar. What are its parts?
It has a handle, tongue, and chain. What
are its qualities? It is hard, smooth, and
sonorous. What are its acts? It rings,
strikes, and sounds.  What are its uses?
It calls to dinner. A sheet of paper is
another object.  Its parts?  It has ends,
edges, surface, and lines. Its qualities?
It is smooth, limber, and pliable. Its
119 
TILE PARENTS' MANUAL.
uses? To write and print upon, and
make books.
Next we may call attention to the idea
of number, form, size, color, and weight.
For example, take the object cat. The
number? one.  Its size? large.  Its form?
that of a quadruped. Its color? black.
Its weight? ten pounds.  Its qualities?
it is hairy, smooth, playful, cunning. Its
use? it is good to catch mice. Again:
let boy be the object. The number?
many.  Form? like a man.  Size? small.
Color? white.  Weight? thirty pounds.
The idea of size, measurement,  and
weight,  is determined  by comparison
with a unit of measure; and accuracy in
measuring with the eye is acquired only
by practice.   Then  give the  child  a
measure, and teach him its use; drill
him, at every opportunity, to judge of the
bulk and distance of objects around him;
the size and weight of a stone; the length,
120
r, 
INTELLECTUAL CULTURE.
breadth, and height of the table, the bureau, or the room itself; accustom him
to distinguish the colors of the different
objects that meet his eye, and the various
sounds that greet his ear.
Parents may next open to their children
the book of Nature, and trace with them
its ample pages. What a fruitful field for
mental culture and refinement is here
spread out before them! -the heavens
above, with their rolling planets and shining stars; the dew that collects upon the
grass; the gently-falling rain that distils from the clouds; the frost, ice, and
snow which appear in their season; the
storm which gathers among the mountains, roaring and flashing with terrific
thunder and forked lightnings, and pouring itself in deluging torrents upon the
valleys below; the ever-changing seasons,
which give "seed-time and harvest," and
come freighted each with its own pleas
11
121
r 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
ures and blessings. What objects and
themes for youthful contemplation! What
sources of instruction, if the inquiring
mind of childhood is properly directed!
The child in the flower-garden may
take numberless lessons in discriminating
colors and odors, and in learning the
names and characteristics of the different
flowers that adorn the landscape and delight the senses. Hie may cultivate a
taste for the beautiful in Nature, and a
fondness for that rich science which opens
at this point into the wide world of vegetable creation. The child in the cultivated field should learn to distinguish
between the different grasses and grains.
Each kind has its own peculiar stalk and
leaf, and blossom and seed. The cloverfield differs from the herds-grass; the
wheat, from the barley, oat, and ryefield; and, after the harvest, the kernels
all differ from each other. Now, how
122 
INTELLE'CTUAL CULTURE.
many in the schools are put upon the
study of the higher English classics and
ornamental branches who are profoundly
ignorant of the most common and useful
facts by which their childhood was surrounded! And yet all these facts might
have been known perfectly, and much
profitable discipline secured, had the parents done their duty, and early called
their attention to the object-lessons of
Nature in the garden and in the field.
The child in the orchard and in the
wood should be taught early to name, at
sight, the apple, pear, peach, and plum
trees; the beach, birch, and maple, with
their various species; and the evergreens,
which defy the chilling blasts and icy
grapple of winter. He should know them
by the color of their bark, and shape of
their leaves, and the taste of their fruit;
and he should understand their comparative utility for the purposes of food, fruit,
123 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
and lumber. A knowledge of such facts
would lead the young pupil to inquire
into the philosophy of the vegetable
world; to study the relations of the plant
and the tree to the elements which surround them; and, finally, to investigate
the process by which plants grow under
the influence of heat, light, and moisture.
Still further: the child on the farm,
among the minerals, may be profitably
employed in learning the nature of the
soil, and the names of the different rocks
and metals with which he is familiar.
The different soils, and their adaptation
to the different crops which the farmer
expects them to yield; the manner of
enriching and cultivating them; the
times and seasons for casting the seed,
nursing the plants, and gathering the harvest, - are facts every boy should understand; and the girl, the corresponding
facts in her own domestic department.
124 
INTELLECTUAL CULTURE.
The difference between the common
metals, -iron, lead, copper, silver, and
gold,- their uses and comparative values,
and the localities from which they are obtained; why gold is more valuable than
silver, and silver than copper, and copper
than lead, when used as coin; and why
iron is the most valuable of all metals
when used in the arts,-  are facts which
every child can and should understand,
even while in the home school of Nature.
A knowledge of these facts will lead to
the science of agriculture, housekeeping,
mineralogy, geology, and lay the foundation for a successful business-life.
And, finally, the child may be introduced to the animal world. Domestic
animals first attract his attention.  They
become his companions and his delight.
The dog, the cat, the cow, the horse,
are watched and trained and enjoyed in
the pastime of every-day life. The first
11*
125 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
business of the parent is, therefore, to
teach the child the distinctive nature
and habits of these animals. This instruction will tend to awaken a new interest in the whole subject of animal
existence,  and  will  lead  the  young
learner to study the history of the wild
animals that roam our forests and occupy other countries. From a knowledge of the domestic fowls that afford
the child so much pleasure, he learns to
listen with delight to the songs of the
birds which frequent the groves about
his dwelling, and to study with interest
their varying forms, colors, notes, habits,
and history; and ere long, under proper
encouragement, he is ready to search the
whole field' of natural history for new
objects of interest.
And home instruction in the animal
kingdom finds an endless variety of
objects in the department of insects.
126 
INTELLECTUAL CULTURE.
They fill the air we breathe, the water
we drink, and every foot of soil upon
which we  tread.  In species they  are
countless, in variety almost infinite.
Now, the child is familiar with many of
these short-lived but evidently happy
little creatures. Give him a microscope,
and teach him to study with care their
habits and history.
The water also teems with its own
inhabitants: the finny tribes and the
shell-fish are all objects of great interest
and profit for home lessons and instruction.
Home geography affords another appropriate subject for home mental culture. Children should have their attention directed early to the prominent facts
on this important subject. First, they
may be taught the points of compass,
- east, west, north, and south. These
will be more easily and correctly fixed in
127 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
the mind by observing the position and
direction of the sun. Let the child
take a stand-point facing that luminary
at the time of its rising. The - sun is
now in the east; and the opposite point
is due west. Now let him stretch out
his arms, and point his fingers, and his
left hand will point to the north, and his
right hand to the south. This practical
lesson, learned from observation, should
now be applied to directions of different
objects in the room and in the field.
The sides of the room- which is east,
west, north, and south? What direction is the stove from the opposite window, and the window from the stove?
What is the direction of the church, the
schoolhouse, and the store, from the
house? Does the street run north and
south? or east and west?  Which way
does the brook or river run? and which
way do the clouds move?
128 
INTELLECTUAL CULTURE.
Next the attention of the child may be
directed to "a description of the earth;"
that is, the door-yard with which he is
familiar; the field, the pasture, and the
wood, over which he roams. He should
be taught to observe the hills and the
vales, the rocks and the trees and the
streams, and be required to describe
them in his childish way. lie should
"bound" the yard, the field, and the
farm, carefully observing the points of
compass and the portions of land, or
neighboring farms adjoining. And, with
the points of compass, he should be
taught distances and measurements; the
number of rods in the garden-fence, and
to a neighlbor's house; the number of
miles to the next village; the number of
acres in the cornfield and meadow. Such
instruction lays the foundation for that
thorough and practical knowledge which
enabled Columbus to discover a continent,
129 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
and which is important in every department of life.
The observing faculties are early exercised also in numbering the different
objects which come in childhood's way;
and this is practical arithmetic. Counting the fingers was the origin of the
Arabic and Roman methods of notation,
the reason of the increase from right to
left by tens, and of the ten characters
which we have to represent numbers.
Hence the word digits, the name (from
digsiti) given to the figures; which literally means fingers.
Let children be put to counting their
fingers, their blocks, their marbles, the
doors and windows with their panes of
glass, and the sets of household articles.
Let them count the flocks and herds, the
stones and trees, and all the objects of
Nature which can attract their attention.
Let them count the stars, "which no man
130 
INTELLECTUAL CULTURE.
can number." They should also be re quired to exercise their memory by re calling the things they have counted; to
exercise their judgment by considering
comparative bulk in relation to numbers:
and, to make this home instruction practical, let counting, adding, and subtracting be applied to the business
transactions of the farm, the workshop,
and the store.
By the proper discipline of the observing faculties in childhood, two desirable
objects will be accomplished, which cannot fail to have an important bearing
upon the success and welfare of the man
and woman in after-life. First, a taste
will be cultivated, and a foundation laid,
for accurate and successful study in the
different departments of science, literature, and language. This home school is
necessary to fit the child for the different
grades of instruction which he will re
131 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
ceive in the public school, academy, and
college.
The second object to be secured by
training the eye and ear to accurate seeing and hearing is the habit of knowing
and telling the truth. Careless observation must result in imperfect knowledge
and false representation. Misapprehensions, and  misstatements of facts, are,
to-day, prevailing evils in every neighborhood and in every grade of society in
our land.  The gossip of the "tea-party"
and the gossip of the newspaper continue to disturb the peace of every
community by manufacturing strife and
stirring up scandal. History and literature are full of misreprentations, and the
whole nation is groaning under a burden
of lies. And who can fail to see that
one fruitful source of these evils may be
found in the neglect of early training, as
above specified?
132 
INTELLECTUAL CULTURE.
A practical question here arises: How
shall the habit of accurate observation
be  formed  in  childhood?   I answer
briefly: Encourage the child to observe,
with fixed attention, every thing  and
every occurrence that meets his senses.
Then, as a test of this accuracy, require
a description of what has been seen or
heard. For instance: The mother is about
to spread the table, and furnish it for a
tea-party.  She requires her little girl to
sit down and watch every movement
until her work is accomplished; and then
she will be expected to give a full account of every step in the process, in its
order and in full, even to the number of
the plates, cups and saucers, knives and
forks and spoons, which have been used.
Or this mother wishes to send her boy on
an errand. She gives him the message;
but, before allowing him to start, she requires him to repeat her order again
12
133 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
and again, until he has fixed every particular in his mind. Had the father who
sent his son to a neighbor's house, to borrow a flour-barrel for the purpose of confining his puppy, taken this course, he
would not have been mortified by learning the next day that his boy asked the
neighbor for "an empty barrel of flour J
to make a dog a hen-coop."
Direct the attention of the child to the
phenomena of Nature; train him to observe accurately the time as indicated by
the watch, the clock, and especially the
sun, so that he may know the hours, as
they pass, by observation, and acquire the
habits of promptness and industry; teach
him the importance of "order," which is
"heaven's first law;" and do not forget
that a correct judgment cannot be formed
without a full knowledge of the facts and
principles, and processes of reasoning,
which have a bearing upon the subject,
134 
INTELLECTUAL CULTURE.
and that these can be gained only by
accurate observation and study.
But intellectual culture at home
should not partake of the form and necessary strictness of school discipline.
This would defeat the very object in
view. Children will not bear such confinement; and would, by formal and constant requirements, acquire a distaste for
the instruction to be imparted. Homelessons should be made agreeable and
attractive: and, to this end, they should
be made, in a measure, optional; to be
sought rather than enforced. By skilful management on the part of parents,
the curiosity and interest of children may
be excited, and all the desirable results
secured, on the voluntary principle.
The conversation of the breakfasttable, at dinner, and at tea, should be
conducted with a view to secure the
improvement  of our  children.   Little
135 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
ears are always open to listen, and little
minds always active to digest ideas upon
interesting  topics so  presented.   The
taste is thus cultivated, the intellect expanded, and directed into the right channels of thought.
Another suggestion in this connection:
When practicable, the parent should take
his child with him on short excursions,
and even on a journey. Nothing is better calculated to open and expand the
mind than the constantly-varying scenery
and circumstances which such excursions
afford.
But caution should always be exercised lest parents should over-train and
over-task  their young  children.   The
laws of physical as well as mental
development demand that home life
should be comparatively free and active;
and yet, under wise and judicious management, it may be the season for great
136 
INTELLECTUAL CULTURE.
improvement, and for laying the foundation of a thorough, practical education,
such as will develop true manhood and
womanhood.
12*
137 
Ix.
THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
HIIE school is an expansion of the
family.   Children  from   different
homes are brought together, and committed to the care and instruction of teachers employed for this purpose.   These
teachers occupy the place of parents;
receive from them delegated authority
and power; and assume their duties for
the purpose of carrying forward and
completing the important work of education.   This work, as we  have seen,
does not begin with the school; nor is
it confined to the study of books.  It
begins with infancy, under the influence
of the mother's smiles and tears and
138
, 
THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.,
anxious care; it progresses through
childhood, in the midst of toys, and a
world of objects which address themselves
to the senses, and interest the mind,
of the little stranger. These are the
most important periods of life, as the
child now receives the most durable impressions, and forms the most lasting
habits. But the time at length comes
when parental inability, or absorbing
home cares and toils, forbid proper attention to the child's higher education.
Assistance must be secured. The school
becomes a necessity; but by no means,
and at no time, should our children be
committed entirely to the care of others.
It is an hour of special peril, when
without experience, or practical knowledge of the world, they are sent out to
mingle with new associates, to form new
relations, and to- come under new control.   There  is  need,  therefore,  of
139 
, THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
greater parental vigilance and fidelity
than ever before.   No  greater mistake
can be made than to suppose that the
discipline of the family may be confined
to the home, and that parental responsibility ceases when public instruction begins. This discipline and watchfulness
and special care should extend over the
whole period of minority.
I come now, therefore, to consider the
practical questions which have a bearing
upon the relations of parents to the
schools in which their children are educated.
AT WHAT AGE
should children be sent to the public
school? From four to eihteen is the
ordinary legal school-age. Some foolish
mothers send their children to school
even earlier than the law suggests, to
get them out of the way. They have the
"babies" still at home to be cared for,
140 
THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
but do not realize that the teacher, with
twenty, thirty, or forty pupils to govern
and instruct, has no time to give attention
to their restless children who are too
young to be instructed at the school.
But they ought to know that the school room is no place for so young children.
Such an imprisonment, with nothing to
do, is an absolute wrong and injury to
the little prisoners. They have committed no crime; and they need and have a
right to claim the freedom of home, with
their toys and pets and sports. The
activity which such freedom alone can
secure is absolutely necessary for healthy
physical development. Besides, the object - teaching and self- culture of the
home-school are far better for the child
than the false system of primary instruction adopted in most of our public
schools.
Another thought in this connection:
141 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
When sent to school too early, and improperly taught, the child becomes disgusted with school-life, and receives an
irreparable injury, affecting his progress
and improvement in later years. If he
enters at the right age, and is taught in
the proper way, he will learn to love his
school, and will acquire a taste for books
and study. He must not, therefore, be
sent too early. But at what age should
he enter the public school? I answer,
Better at twelve than three years old,
better at eight than five, and never younger than six; and, if the school which he
must attend is decidedly poor, he should
be delayed still longer.
I have urged the importance of correct
primary instruction at home, and have
here alluded to the importance of adopting the same system in the school. This
is Nature's method, - the object first, and
then the sign, which may be either a pic
142 
THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
ture or a word; and, in either case, it
should be seen and recognized by its
looks. By this method, children are
taught to read words and sentences before they know the letters of the alphabet, just as they have, at home, learned
to distinguish different objects by sight
and by name without stopping to analyze
or explain. The analysis will come naturally afterwards, and the instruction so
given will be much more interesting and
profitable.
Parents as well as teachers should understand   that the  old system of instruction in primary schools is unnatural and
unwise; and they should always give the
preference, in employing instructors, to
those who have been trained in modern
methods.
Indeed, all parents should be so well
informed as to the best methods of school
government and instruction as to be
r
143 
THE PAREN TS' MANUAL.
qualified to exercise an intelligent supervision over the training of their children.
Intelligence in school-matters is a necessary qualification to enable parents to
appreciate a good school and a good
teacher, to adopt.the best system, to provide a suitable outfit, and to secure a wise
administration of educational affairs.
Another practical question to consider,
in preparing the public school for their
children, is, What
SYSTEM OF ORGANIZATION
shall be adopted?
Except in the cities, the district system
has generally prevailed in this country.
Every one who has given the matter any
attention is aware of the disadvantages
of this system; and many earnest efforts
have been made to remove the evil by
a change to what is termed the town
system.
144
Ml 
TIHE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
In some States, the town system has
been established by law; in others, enabling acts have been passed allowing the
towns to abolish the district, and establish
the town system.
The advantages of the town over the
district system may here be considered.
1. Under town supervision, the schools
would all be of the same length, giving the
children in every family an equal amount
of instruction: under district supervision, the length of the different schools
varies from twelve to thirty-six weeks
during the year. And as all parents are
taxed equally, according to their ability,
to support the public schools, and as
every man is interested in the education
of every other man's children, all should
enjoy equal school advantages.
2. Under town supervision, just so
many schools would be established as are
needed, and no more. Under the district
13
145
I
. 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
system, the number of schools is determined by old district lines, without regard
to the number of pupils to be provided
for.  The result is, some of these schools
are crowded much beyond the capacity
of the buildings to accommodate, and
others are so small that the advantages
of classification and class emulation are
entirely lost.   And  other  evils  result
indirectly from the  same  cause.  The
small schools are likely to employ teachers of a lower grade; to have a more
stingy outfit, and a less careful supervision.
3. Under the town system, the aggregate expenses of common schools would
be much diminished. As at present managed, much money is wasted in building
schoolhouses, employing teachers, and
in running the schools.   I have in mind
an instance which will illustrate.' There
were in the town of L. five schools, in all
146 
THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
of which there were only thirty-six
pupils. In one other school, in the same
town, there was the same number. Now,
the one school was not too large to be
profitable: indeed, it could be managed
to much better advantage by a single
teacher than the small school of seven
pupils. This large school was in session
twenty-nine weeks during the year under
review, at an expense of $260.   The
five small schools, running the same number of weeks, with less efficient management and less satisfactory results, cost
$2,430.   This gives  us  the  practical
solution in figures which "do not lie."
In the large school, the whole expense
of twenty-nine weeks' schooling was
$7.22 for  each  pupil:  in  the  small
schools for the same time, the  actual
expense, as estimated in the town report,
was $67.50 per scholar. This estimate
does not include the interest  on  the
147
. 
THE PARENVTS' M.4NUAL.
additional amount of school property
invested in the five districts compared
with the one.
4. Under town supervision, more skilful teachers can be employed, and better
furnished schoolhouses provided, and
hence much more profitable schools
secured. We cannot expect that a district of only two or three families having
children to educate will be willing to
incur the expense of building a new
schoolhouse, and paying high salaries to
their teachers.
But, under the town system, all the
children in town would be provided for
equally, and those in the rural districts
would enjoy equal advantages with those
in the large villages. This would be
an important point gained, and would
result in establishing good schools in the
place of poor ones throughout the town
and state.
148 
THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
5. The crowning advantage resulting
from town supervision would  be  the
establishment of a graded school of high
order in the centre of the town, which
would be accessible to all. This school
would have three departments, - the
primary, the intermediate, and the academic,- and would afford excellent facilities for every grade of pupils fitting for
business and for college. Such a town
system of public schools would supplant
the common mnixed academies, leaving
only a few classical schools of high order,
and the higher seminaries and colleges,
where the graduates of the graded townschools could finish their education.
6. More complete supervision of the
schools would be secured under the town
system. The town board of education
would naturally be composed of cultivated and efficient men, and would act in
concert for the common good of all.
18*
149 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
They would not only examine, but
employ, the teachers; and hence would
be able to secure those who are the best
qualified and adapted to the different
grades of the several schools.
These are some of the many advantages which would result from abolishing
the district and establishing the town
system. The utility of the change has
been demonstrated both in town and
state where the experiment has been
tried. That will be a fortunate day for
the cause of education when this true
system of public instruction shall have
been everywhere established; and it is
the first duty of parents to demand and
secure the school system here recommended.
The importance of the
GRADED SYSTEM OF SCHOOLS,
wherever such a classification can be
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effected, justifies a special plea in its behalf.  "A graded school," says Wells, "is
a school in which the pupils are divided
into classes according to their attainments,
and in which all the pupils of each class
attend to the same branches of study at
the same time."
The special utility and desirableness of
this system will occur to every intelligent
mind. Let us examine it.
In a thoroughly graded school, perfect
classification can be effected. Pupils of
the same age, having a common interest
and mutual sympathy, are brought together. The influence of class pride and
emulation is brought to bear upon them.
With fewer classes, more time is given for
class-recitation and personal drill, and a
more complete supervision of the school
is secured.
Under this system, school trustees can
select teachers adapted and fitted for
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their own special departments, and can
employ them permanently; can provide
a uniformity of text-books, and secure
more punctuality and regularity of attendance.
None of these advantages can be realized in the mixed, unclassified school;
and still this is the condition of a large
majority of the public schools in every
State in the Union.
These schools are thoroughly mixed:
all children of school-age -" from four
to eighteen "- are  huddled  together.
They are provided with text-books of
every kind, and upon every subject; and
the teacher is expected to govern and
instruct this heterogeneous assemblage in
the most approved manner.
But how can she do this? There can
be no system or order in such a school.
Every thing is at the mercy of circumstances.  There are at least three schools
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THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
(in one) to be managed and taught,the primary, the intermediate, and the
academic; and still there is only one day
at a time to be devoted to them all.  The
teacher must keep  order, adapting her
discipline to the child of foutr years, and
to the man or woman of eighteen. A
little world, with all the diversities of
age and disposition, is under her administration; and for their improvement and
culture she is held responsible. From
twenty to thirty important  recitations
must be conducted daily, and at such
times as chance may dictate.  What can
even a good teacher accomplish under
such circumstances? What right have
parents to expect satisfactory results from
schools so organized?
The  graded system secures  such  a
division of labor as will obviate all these
difficulties, and enable the teacher to
bring order out of confusion, and light
out of darkness.
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THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
Every one understands the importance
of this principle as applied to the departments of industry in practical life.
Division of labor is indispensable to success in the arts, as taught in political
economy.
To illustrate, I will refer to some examples.
In the manufacture of pins, ten men
are actually employed for the purpose
of securing the benefits of classification
of the different kinds of labor.
One man draws out the wire; another
straightens it; a third cuts it; the fourth
sharpens the point; the fifth grinds it at
the top for receiving the head; and the
other five men  are employed in making
the different parts of the head, and finishing the whole.  Now,  why not require
each one of these ten men to make his
share of the pins, independent of his fellows?  I answer, No one could acquire the
154 
THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
necessary skill and adaptation to every
part of the work: much time would
be wasted in passing from one point
to  another, and  hence  comparatively
little would be accomplished. It is stated
upon good authority that these same ten
men, who, with the proper division of
labor, make forty-eightt thousand pins per
day, could make only two hundred in the
same time if each was required to perform every part of the work.
And, in the process of making a watch,
we are told that there are one hundred
and two distinct branches, which may
employ as many different apprentices.
Each one of these departments constitutes a separate trade; and the watchfinisher is the only man of the whole
who knows how to make a watch in all
its parts.
This same principle is applied to the
mechanic arts generally. In all our fac
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THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
tories, each operative has his own special
department, and confines himself to the
work  assigned.   The  result  is, much
more efficiency and skill, and hence
more productiveness of labor.
And what I here maintain is, that this
division of labor should be applied to
the management and instruction of our
schools.
First, secure as perfect a classification
of the pupils in the district as may be,
according to their age and attainments;
second, assign to each department a
teacher who has been thoroughly trained,
and is adapted especially to the position to be occupied and the work to be
done; and, thirdly, furnish that teacher
with the necessary books and apparatus,
- tools to work with,- and the process of education will be successfully
carried on.
Having settled the system of school
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THE CIIILDREN AT SCHOOL.
organization to be adopted, parents
should proceed to make careful and
thorough preparation for the school.
SCHOOLSrITES AND SCHOOLHOUSES
demand their first attention.   The location of the schoolhouse is a matter of
vital importance. Too often do we find
it situated in some dark alley, or on some
noisy street, on low and marshy ground,
or upon the barren rock where no shadetrees can grow, or upon the dusty corner
where four roads meet. In such localities children are disturbed by noises,
suffer from excessive heat and cold, or
from dampness, insufficient light, and
bad air; and are robbed of all the advantages and pleasures of pleasant surroundings and tasteful arrangements of
well-ordered playgrounds.
Other things being equal, the schoolhouse should have a central location, for
i4
157 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
convenience of access. But this is not
the most important consideration. The
character of the grounds and surroundings should weigh against a few rods of
additional distance for the children to
travel. The school-yard should be selected, laid out, and graded, with a view
to furnish the children pleasant and attractive  play-grounds.   This is as important for the purposes of education
as a well-constructed and well-furnished
schoolroom. This yard should contain,
at least, a half-acre of level or sloping
ground, and should be ornamented with
shade-trees, and furnished with swings,
ball-bats, foot-balls, and other inducements to healthful exercise.
In selecting the site, special regard
should be had to the surroundings.
Noisy mills, factories, and work-shops, in
the immediate vicinity  of the schoolhouse, are a serious hinderance to suc
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THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
cessful study.   Stores, railroad-stations,
and taverns are liable to consume the
time, vitiate'the taste, and corrupt the
morals, of pupils who are allowed to resort to them.   Hence the schoolhouse
should, if possible, be removed from
all such local disadvantages; and, for
the sake of health, equal care should be
taken to avoid stables, sewers, marshes,
stagnant bodies of water, and low and
damp situations where heavy fogs linger
long after sunrise, and chill night-dews
gather before sunset.
And the school-site should be a beautiful location, where Nature has displayed
her romantic wildness and quiet grandeur.
Children are taught unconsciously by
the objects that surround them; and
hence the place where they are gathered for the study of books should also
afford opportunity for them to study the
book of Nature. They should be able
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THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
to gaze upon the towering mountain, the
peaceful valley, the shaded forest, and
the cultivated field; and to listen to the
music of running brooks, and the songs
of the birds that frequent the shade-trees
under which they play.
The pleasantness and attractiveness of
the location and surroundings of the
schoolroom serve to make school-life
pleasant, and to cultivate a taste for the
beautiful in nature and art, -both extremely desirable as means to the end in
view.
Schoolhouses should not only be properly located, but constructed with great
care. Under the town system which has
been here recommended, the town school
board would have all these matters in
hand; and they should see to it that
the site is well chosen, and that each
house is adapted, in size and finish, to
the number and grade of the pupils
to be accommodated.
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THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
The room for thie primary department
will need different internal arrangements
from the intermediate, and the intermediate from the academic. The benches
must be of suitable height to enable each
pupil to rest his feet upon the floor, and
so inclined as to allow a natural and easy
posture; the desks must be constructed
to suit the size and convenience of their
occupants; and all schoolhouses should
have rooms especially for hats, bonnets,
shawls, overcoats, umbrellas, dinner-baskets, &c., that the children may acquire
the habits of neatness and order, and
learn to take care of whatever is intrusted
to them.
IRecitation-rooms should be furnished
with blackboards and brushes, and an
ample supply of apparatus suited to the
character of the school: if a primary
school, apparatus especially suited to
illustrate object-teaching.
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THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
Lighting and heating the schoolhouse
is of the first importance. Light is necessary to health; and a good supply of
pure sunlight, controlled by shutters and
curtains, is needed, not only for healthful
study, but also to render the schoolroom
more cheerful and inviting. The common mode of heating schoolrooms is very
objectionable, -much more so than the
old method by the open fireplace. The
tight box-stove, without the means of
evaporating water, in a room not suited
to the purposes of ventilation, is the
worst and most dangerous arrangement
that could be invented.  It creates an
uneven temperature, deadens the air, and
fills it with smoke, rendering it wholly
unsuitable for the purposes of life. It is
believed that more cases of fatal disease
are contracted in the unventilated and improperly-heated schoolrooms of the present day than anywhere else; and it be
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THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
comes a matter of great importance to
all parents, who seek to prepare their
children for a long and useful life, to understand this subject, and to provide
against the evils contemplated.
The subject of
SCHOOLHOUSE VENTILATION
is so important to the welfare of the children in our schools, that I may properly
dwell upon it for a few moments. No
fact is more evident, even to common
observation, than that pure air is indispensable to health; and yet there are but
comparatively few schoolhouses in any
community in which pure air can be
breathed for three hours during a winter's day.
Modern methods of heating schoolrooms, already alluded to, have added
much to the evils resulting from almost
universal neglect in the matter of ven
163 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
tilation. The facts before us are alarming.
We may give our children the hard
fare at home which were the common
rations of other days, we may provide for
them the hard benches and uncomfortable arrangements of old-fashioned schoolhouses, if we will give them also the fresh
air therein provided by loose windows
and spacious open fireplaces.   But we
cannot, without guilt, shut them up for
six hours each day in a small, tight room
warmed by a close box-stove. Such an
atmosphere poisons the blood, drains the
vitality, and lays the foundation of a hundred forms of sickness and suffering.
Without pure air, the circulation of the
blood, instead of a current of life, becomes a current of death, diffusing itself
through a million of channels into every
part of the system. Would parents buy
a solution of arsenic at the druggist's,
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THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
and inject it into the veins of their children?   This would prove no more fatal
than to inhale the poison of bad air which
they are compelled to breathe in most
of our schoolhouses, day after day, and
week  after week.  The  only difference
is, one is a rapid and the other is a slow
process of poisoning.
When the schoolroom is first opened,
the air is comparatively pure: but, in a
short time, the fifty pairs of lungs have
consumed nearly all the oxygen; and the
vicious compound that remains stupefies
the intellect, and, by slow degrees, saps
the very life-blood. These statements
are not theory, but facts; the evils resulting are not imaginary, but real, as illustrated in the history of a large majority
of the public schools in our country.
But how can this evil be removed? I
answer, Only by making special provision
for the circulation of fresh air in every
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THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
schoolroom. Perfect ventilation cannot
be secured except by scientific arrangements in connection with heating the
apartments. The circulation of the atmosphere is effected through the agency
of heat; and when the building is so
finished as to admit a constant supply of
fresh air from without, and to eject that
which is impure, through ventilators
prepared near the top and bottom of the
upright ceiling, heat becomes the controlling power to keep the current in
circulation. In the absence of any special arrangements of this kind, resort must
be had to open doors and windows.
These, used skilfully by parties who
understand the laws of health and life,
will, in a measure, secure the object in
view. Yet there is danger in trusting a
matter of such vital importance to arrangements so imperfect, and circumstances so variable.
166
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THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
I wish here to call special attention
to another point which has been alluded
to in this connection; viz., the importance
of
SCHOOiLAPPARATus
to enable the teacher to work successfully.
Apparatus is designed to illustrate and
enforce the principles of science; and its
great utility is seen in the well-established fact, that instruction communicated
through the sense of sight is much better
understood, and much longer remembered. The child sees the representation
of number on his "numeral frame;" he
sees the shape of the earth in the artificial globe, and is able to trace out the
ranges of mountains, the courses of
rivers, and the figure of continents,
upon the outline-maps which hang before
him; and he understands the definition
of a cube in distinction from a square
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THIE PARENTS' MANUAL.
surface when he sees and handles the
block which bears that name.
Every schoolroom should have a
black-board as long as the unoccupied
space between the windows on every
side. This will enable the teacher to
represent to the eye many objects and
subjects which would otherwise be
either lost or imperfectly understood by
the pupils; and will enable them to solve
the problems in the presence of the
class and teacher, greatly to their benefit.
No schoolroom is perfectly furnished
which has not in it a thermometer, to
enable the teacher to regulate the temperature; and an unabridged dictiolnary of the English language is indispensable, to be consulted daily and
hourly by the whole school as they
prosecute their studies.
Thorough instruction cannot be given
without these helps; and the more ad
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i
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THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
vanced departments should be provided
with a cabinet, library and philosophical
apparatus, more or less extensive as circumstances require.
Having settled the system of schoolorganization to be adopted, and having
provided a suitable schoolhouse favorably
located and well furnished, the next
important duty to be performed by
parents is to select and employ a
HIIGHIILY COMPETENT TEACHER.
Under the district-system, this duty
devolves upon the school-trustees selected for that purpose. Under the townsystem, which I have earnestly commended, it belongs to a committee of the townboard of education.  In either case, it is
a question of vital importance who are
to be intrusted with the management and
instruction of our schools.
The education of the young prince or
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169
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THE.PARENTS' MANUAL.
princess, in royal governments, is regarded as an important matter, affecting, as it
must, the welfare of nations. The selection of a tutor for such an heir to the
throne always excites a deep interest and
solicitude throughout the kingdom or
empire. But we are a nation of sovereigns; and our children, princes of a future
generation. Great care should, therefore,
be exercised in the selection of teachers
for every grade of schools.
And what are some of the
NECESSARY QUALIFICATIO0S
of the good teacher? This is a practical
question, and one which it seems proper
to answer in this connection. In the
past, too little attention has been given
to this subject. The writer well remembers the time when no examinations were
required of candidates for teachers of our
common schools: and, in many cases, the
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THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
only questions raised by the school-officer
as to the fitness of the applicant for the
important office, were, first, Is he physically strong and courageous? second,
Will he work cheap? third, Will he consent to "board round"?
These questions settled affirmatively,
the candidate was sure to be employed.
False opinions then very generally prevailed. It was believed that good schoolgovernment could be maintained only by
physical force;  and  that  anybody who
could read, write, and cipher, and "wield
the  birch," could  keep  school.  And
another serious error was and is entertained; viz., that a backward school does
not need a well-qualified teacher: while
the fact is, such a school demands all the
more attention because it is backward.
From such erroneous views has arisen
much of the indifference manifested by
parents as to the qualifications of their
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THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
teachers. Still it is a vital question; and
I wish to direct to it, especially, the
attention of my readers.
PHYSICAL VYIGOR.
Let me say, then, to the school-committees intrusted with the important duty
of selecting teachers for their public
schools, Inquire, first of all, for physical
vigor (not flogging-power, but health)
in  your  candidate.    No  employment
taxes more severely the vital energies, or
demands more vigorous health, than the
successful management and instruction
of a school. The teacher's is a confined
life.  He has but few leisure days or
hours, and but short vacations, that he
can call his own. During six hours
every day, for at least five days in a
week, he is shut up between four walls,
and often in a badly-ventilated and uncomfortable room; and has but little oppor
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T7E CIIILDREV AT SCHOOL.
tunity for the necessary exercise and
recreation.
His is also a laborious life. - If faithful to his charge, his labors are incessant.   He  must  govern  and teach,
and teach and govern, and sometimes
under the most discouraging circumstances.  Out  of school, his hours are
devoted to a preparation for his work,
reading, studying, thinking, planning, for
the improvement and welfare of his
pupils.
Again: the teacher's life is full of care
and     anxiety. He is laden with responsibility which he cannot shift if he would.
Not only do his confinement and unremitting toil tax his strength, and wear upon
his constitution, but his perplexing cares
and     anxious watchings shock his nervous
system.     Toilsome  days  and  anxious
nights are a constant strain upon his very
life. To endure all this, and sustain him
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THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
self under so severe a pressure, the
teacher must enjoy good health.
CoMoN SENSE.
The second requisite qualification for a
good teacher is common sense. This may
seem to some to be superfluous; but not
so. There is much more uncommon than
common sense among men; and yet the
latter is indispensable to success in the
vocation of teaching. The teacher occupies a very important position. Hie is
thrown upon his own resources; must
act every day without aid or counsel
upon questions which have an important
bearing upon his success or failure. And
what shall guide him to the choice of the
best means to meet the emergency, and
to accomplish his object?  Hie cannot
consult his professional  books  or  his
more experienced and wise fellow-teachers; but he must act without delay. And
174 
THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
what but his common sense can guide
him to a judicious course of action? In
the management and government of his
school, and in all his intercourse with the
families of his patrons, he will meet a
thousand opportunities to exercise this
noble gift, this instinct of nature. Let
parents see to it, therefore, that their
teachers possess good common sense.
CHEERFUL AND HOPEFUL DISPOSITi0o.
Another of Nature's special gifts to the
successful teacher of children is a c7eerful and hopeful disposition.
Some   persons  are  constitutionally
gloomy and desponding. They always
look on the dark side of this bright
world;  never see the  "silver  lining"
that gilds the dark cloud overhanging
them; and hence they wear upon their
countenance, and express in their words,
a funereal gloom that dispels all cheerful
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THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
ness, and shuts out the sunlight from the
heart. These men and women despair
of the future; anticipate no good for
themselves or for others; and hence settle
down in gloomy despondency to brood
over their misfortunes. Now, it requires
no argument to show the undesirableness
of placing these desponders in the schoolroom.
"As the teacher is, so is the school."
The gloom and hopelessness which he
cherishes will be imparted to his pupils
to suppress their cheerfulness, dampen
their enthusiasm, and discourage their
efforts. The expression of his countenance, the tones of his voice, and indeed
his very presence, cast a gloom over the
buoyant hearts of childhood and youth.
On the other hand, the cheerful and
hopeful teacher inspires his pupils with
his own spirit, and animates them by his
own living example. And children need
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THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
this inspiration and encouragement more
than instruction. Their improvement
while in school depends upon nothing so
much as the happy smile and cheerful
words of the hopeful and enthusiastic
teacher. This very hopefulness enables
the teacher to secure the best results of
his well-directed efforts. iHe has to deal
with dulness and stupidity; and he sees
little or no improvement from day to day.
He is sometimes ready to give up in
despair; but he remembers that the development of mind, like the growth of
the tree, is by slow and imperceptible
degrees. The sturdy oak that now defies
the storm and tempest is the product of
a hundred years; and the intellect and
character which give manhood and
womanhood a proud pre-eminence in
positions of influence and usefulness
have often been unfolded by the patient
toil of the hopeful teacher under the
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most trying difficulties. Let it not be
forgotten by parents, therefore, that
nothing can compensate for the want of
a cheerful and hopeful disposition in the
instructors of their children.
Love OF CmLDREN'.
The love of children is still another
necessary natural qualification of the
teacher. Some possess it, and some do
not; and when a candidate for the high
office of primary teacher especially presents herself, who has not this fondness
for children in some degree at least, she
should be at once rejected on that
account.
This love of children qualifies the
teacher to be happy in their presence,
to be patient with their childishness, and
to sympathize with them in all their enjoyments and trials.
It is interesting to see how children
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THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
are drawn, as by magnetism, to the
teacher who loves them. They form her
acquaintance at sight; believe in her,
and cling to her as to their own mother
(whose place she occupies, and whose
responsibilities she has assumed); and of
course they are ready to obey her, and
profit by her example, precepts, and instruction. This love of the teacher for
her pupils always inspires their love for
her in a corresponding degree. They
seek her society, and enjoy her presence;
they follow her and cling to her as she
winds her way over the hill and through
the valley to and from the school; they
welcome her to their homes, and entertain her by their smiles and childish
prattle; they invite her to mingle in
their sports; and she becomes a child
again while with children. It is not
strange, therefore, that mutual sympathy
is awakened, and mutual friendship cre
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THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
ated, such as will give the teacher unbounded control over her pupils in the
management and discipline of her school.
LOVE FOR THE WORK.
Nearly allied to the love of children,
as a natural and necessary qualification
of the true teacher, is a love for the work.
Fondness for the society of the young
tends to make the business of teaching
agreeable; but this is not all that is
necessary. Such other qualifications are
implied as create a taste for the details
of the teacher's work, and prepare him
to endure patiently the burdens and
vexations of school-life. He is patient
and persevering, industrious and faithful,
because he finds a positive pleasure in
the performance of each required duty.
Hle estimates the dignity and responsibility of the teacher's profession from a
higher standpoint, and cherishes a proud
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THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
satisfaction in the nobility of his position
and the important results of his labors.
APTNESS TO GOVERN ID TEACH.
Aptness to govern and to teach is still
another natural gift to be sought in the
candidate for the teacher's office.
Aptness to govern is expressed in the
word authority, and implies ability to
direct and control others.  It is inborn,
and manifests itself as a kind of instinct.
It is seen among children when assembled
to engage in their sports; perhaps in
"Some village Hampden, that, with dauntless breast,
The little tyrant of his fields withstood."
Some   one  assumes  the  command,
and exercises his gift to rule. It is seen
among men. Whenever they organize
for any purpose,
"Some Cromwell, guiltless of his country's blood,"
becomes the leader, and exercises author
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181 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
ity and control. In some families the
children are in complete subjection to
their parents, and yet no special effort
has ever been made  to govern them.
The mother has authority, which is discovered in her eye, in the tones of her
voice, in her truthful words and unchangeable purposes. Under her management the habit of obedience is soon
formed,  and  cheerful  submission  rendered.
In some schools (though these are
the exception, and not the rule) the
master has only to wave his hand, or
tap with his pencil upon the desk, to
restore perfect order. His very presence
is a ruling power, which his pupils are
inclined to recognize and obey. He has
authority, a natural aptness to govern.
Lack of discipline  in the family  and
school, which has become so fearful an
evil in our land, more often results from
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THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
a want of this native power than from
any other cause.
Aptness to teach is not always connected with aptness  to govern,  but is
equally desirable as a qualification for
the important duties our teachers have
to perform.  Ability to teach well implies the power to interest and fix the
attention of the pupil or class; the
power to illustrate and apply principles;
the power to read character, so as to be
able to adapt instruction to the varying
capacities and dispositions of different
pupils; and the discretion to know what
to teach, when to teach, and how much
to teach. Aptness to teach does not
necessarily imply the highest order of
scholarship, nor the largest ability to
understand and explain a given lesson;
but the power to inspire, guide, and
control pupils in self-culture, and in the
attainment of knowledge by their own
earnest application.
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THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
School-trustees should spare no pains,
in the selection of teachers for their
schools, to find those who possess these
peculiar gifts. And they should examine
the candidate also in reference to another
qualification; viz., energy of character, or
what  is  appropriately called  "snap."
One live teacher is worth a score of dead
ones. He will accomplish much more
work;  and his presence  and influence
are inspiring, not only in the schoolroom,
but in the homes of the children and by
the way. A live teacher makes a live
school, and awakens a new interest in
the cause of popular education in the
community where he resides. This vital
energy of which I speak enlivens his
whole being. It is seen in the elasticity
of his step, and in his animated conversation. It flashes from his eyes, and
streams from his fingers, as the red current of life courses rapidly through his
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THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
veins, propelled by a heart, every fibre
of which throbs with sympathetic emotion, and a lively interest in the work in
which he is engaged. Energy is essential
to success in any enterprise, and especially in the difficult and important work
of managing and teaching school.
WELL-BALACED IND.
And the teacher of our children should
have a well-balanced and highly-cultivated
mind.
The man or woman of "one idea," the
mere visionary of eccentric habits, should
never be tolerated in the schoolroom.
Such a person has distorted views of life,
and false principles of action; and is an
unsafe exemplar and guide of youth.
The educator, above all men, should have
a sound mind, a clear judgment, and a
comprehensive knowledge of men and
things.  All his mental faculties should
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185
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THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
be fully developed, and in harmonious
action; and this implies not only soundness, but  culture.   And  that  culture
should be liberal; by which I mean, the
mind should be disciplined by hard study,
and stored by extensive information gathered from the broad field of science, history, and literature.  It is not enough
that our teachers understand merely the
branches to be taught in our schools:
they should be intellectual men and women, who have the power of systematic
thought; the power to analyze, classify,
and reason; and the power to employ
their varied culture and attainments in
the business and duties of practical life.
Such teachers only are well furnished for
their work; and such only should be regarded as suitable candidates for the high
office which they are called to fill.
I have urged the desirableness of extensive culture for all our teachers. I
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TIlE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
must now insist upon the necessity of
a thorough knowledge  of the primary
bran)ches. This implies, first of all, a
knowledge of the principles which underlie the science of arithmetic, geography,
grammar, history, &c. These principles,
with the reasons and application to the
science, must be learned and made familiar, or the teacher has no ability to instruct  successfully.    It  is  important,
therefore, to inquire how thoroughly the
candidate (for whatever grade of school)
has been trained in these principles and
facts.
NoRmAL TRIG.
But this is not enough. Our teachers
must be professionally trained. We have
given them a position of great dignity;
have intrusted them with a work of vast
importance; and we require of them
duties of fearful import.   "To teach,"
says Dr. Channing, "whether by word or
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action, is the greatest function on earth;"
and can it be that they need no special
preparation for their work?
We require of our physician, our lawyer, and our clergyman, that he should be
professionally-educated. It is not enough
that he has been thoroughly drilled in
academic halls; not enough that he has
been liberally educated. We do not intrust to him the life of our child, unless
he has studied medicine; nor an important suit in chancery, unless he has studied
law; nor do we regard him qualified to
preach the gospel, unless he has studied
theology.
Yea, more. We require a professional
training for the common mechanic, the
farmer, the sailor, and indeed for every
art, trade, and occupation. We do not
allow a man to build a house, to cultivate
a farm, to navigate a ship, to shoe a
horse, to repair a watch, nor even to
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THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
shave the hair from the chin, who has not
served an apprenticeship in order to
learn the special art we expect him to
practise.
Now, "teaching is an art, and the
teacher an artist,"- an art of the greatest
difficulty and highest importance. And
shall we continue to intrust the business
of educating our children to those who
have had no opportunity for normal instruction? -to the mere novice, simply
because she knows a little of arithmetic,
geography, and grammar? Nothing can
be more inconsistent and unwise than to
assign a work so important to those who
have no skill, and who have been untaught in the profession.
We have our schools of law, of medicine, and of divinity. We regard them
as a necessity. We require an apprenticeship in every trade, and in every kind
of business. This, too, is highly appro
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priate and necessary to the end in view.
We expect none to undertake the duties
of these professions or trades who have
not had this special preparation. But,
until within a few years, no provision
was made for the professional training of
teachers; nor was it regarded of any importance. The impression prevailed that
anybody could keep school; and hence
anybody who would serve an ignorant
constituency in this menial office for a
very small compensation was employed.
But I trust a brighter day has dawned.
Normal schools have, at length, been established in nearly every State in the
Union, and a multitude of teachers have
been gathered into them. Still, only a
small part of the teachers of our public
schools have yet been reached. And this
is not the worst feature of the case.
The majority do not feel its importance.
They can secure their certificates, fulfil
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THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
their engagements, and receive their
wages; and hence they are satisfied.
The great responsibility in this matter,
after all, rests upon parents. They do
not demand the professionally-educated
teachers. They too often prefer those
not qualified, if only they will consent to
work for less pay, and submit to more
hardships. Let it be understood throughout our country that no candidates for
the teacher's office will be accepted unless they are normally educated, as it is
understood that no one can practise medicine unless he has studied the "healing
art," and soon normal schools would be
multiplied, and all filled by earnest students preparing themselves for the important work.
It is the duty of parents, therefore, to
demand of their teachers higher qualifications. If not educated at the normal
school, they should be professionally edu
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cated somewhere and in some way.
Then would teaching become a profession in the same sense as law or medicine; and our schools would be elevated to a position which their importance demands, and to a usefulness so
much to be desired.
A NOBLE MANIIOOD.
But the crowning excellence of the
well-qualified teacher is a noble manhood
or womanhood. We desire to make men
and women of our children. How can
we hope to do this, except through the
example, influence, and instruction of
true manliness or womanliness at home
and  in  the  schoolroom?   Instructors
should possess such qualities and principles as may be safely copied by their
pupils.   They  should  have  physical
vigor, gracefulness of manners, a. highlycultivated and well-furnished mind, a
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THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
heart full of noble sentiments and swell ing with generous emotions, and a char acter founded upon Christian principle
and above suspicion.  These virtues we
may hope to see ingrafted upon our chil dren. Sure we may be that all the vices
of the teacher will be copied by his
pupils.
To illustrate, I may recall the story
of the china plate.   A  fanciful housewife chanced to find among the waste
crockery of her hardware  merchlant a
style and figure of plate which greatly
pleased her.  This specimen was badly
cracked and marred: but it showed an
exquisitely fine design; and she at once
decided to send the plate to China, to
have a set manufactured exactly li7ce the
pattern. This was her order; and it was
executed accordingly. Imagine the mortification of the good lady, on receiving
her goods, to find the imitation so perfect,
17
193 
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that all the defects of the old plate had
been wrought into the new!
So parents may expect the reproduction of the teacher in their children,
with all the spots and stains which are
found upon his character. Let them look
well, therefore, to the qualifications of
those to whom they intrust so important
a charge.
FEMALE TEACHERS
have  taken  the field of education as
by conquest. More than two-thirds of
the public schools of our land are managed and taught by women.  A change
was produced by the war of the Rebellion, which called into military service a
large number of young men who had
been employed in teaching.  But the reason why women are and will be retained
in the schools is found in the fact that
they are peculiarly fitted for the business
194 
THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
of teaching. Woman is the divinely appointed teacher of her race. She has
natural endowments and special fitness
for the work in the school as well as in
the family. She has proved herself not
only "apt to teach," but also capable of
managing and governing successfully.
Her quick sensibilities, ardent sympathies,
natural love for the true, the beautiful,
and the good, her patience, perseverance,
and enthusiasm, eminently qualify her
for this important field of labor. Childrenl are drawn to her as by a natural instinct: they trust in her with implicit
confidence.
Hence woman is especially adapted to
the primary and intermediate schools.
In selecting a teacher, the woman of
equal qualifications should always be
preferred to the man for either department. She has also honored the profession in important positions in the acad
195 
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emy and seminary; and, in some instances,
at the head of these institutions.
As a class, woman has a higher standard of morals and manners. She does
not " smoke," nor " drink," nor "swear,"
nor waste her time loafing in places of
public resort. And she has more refined
feelings and manners; and therefore she
has more power to gain the affections and
win the confidence of the young who are
ready to profit by the influence of her
correct habits and good example.
And woman is not only adapted to the
care and instruction of children in the
family and school, but has the capacity
for that broad and thorough culture
which is essential to the position she
occupies. Both in the academic and
normal course of studies, she is quite the
equal of her brother. The difficulty has
been, she has lacked the opportunity to
improve and elevate herself. And to-day
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THE CHILDREN AT SC'HOOL.
there is no one thing more important to
the welfare of the rising generation than
the liberal education of woman.   She
must mould the family, and give character to the children and youth as they will
be found in the school and as citizens in
the State. She is relied upon, and must
be, chiefly, to manage and instruct our
public schools. This fact is not to be
regretted, but should be urged as a new
plea for her elevation through culture.
The schools will be better taught and
better managed under her control just
as soon as she is allowed time and
opportunity to make the necessary preparation. And one of the most important
duties which parents owe to their children, in their relations to the school, is,
to provide for the education of these
teachers.   They should not only  seek
those to instruct their schools who have
the best qualifications, but should provide
17*
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training-schools of high order, that all
may be thoroughly fitted for their worlk.
The elevation of the teacher is the elevation of the school, and the surest way to
secure the highest improvement of'the
children. Parents in every State in the
Union, in every county, and in every
district, one and all, are therefore especially interested in building up and sustaining the Normal School.
PERMANENCY DESIRABLE.
Still another important suggestion to
parents in this connection is the permanency of their teachers. If any are so
unfortunate as to select a poor teacher
for their school, the quicker she is exchanged, the better for all concerned;
but, if efficient and desirable, let her be
retained as long as possible. The habit
of changing teachers, as practised in
many districts, twice or three times
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THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
every year, is ruinous to the school.
What can the teacher, who enters the
school for one term only, know of the
character and peculiarities of her pupils?
What motive can she have to adopt and
attempt to carry out a systematic course
of instruction, when she knows that her
successor will be likely to introduce an
entirely  different  course?   What  can
awaken interest in her pupils, or enthusiasm in herself, when she realizes
that her work may be undone as soon
as she leaves it? And what can the
school do to advantage, when nearly all
their time is spent in experimenting
upon new theories and methods of instruction?
But, with the permanent teacher, every
thing is different. On re-opening her
school after a vacation, she is cordially
greeted by loving and confiding pupils.
She knows every class and every scholar,
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and understands their peculiarities and
their wants. On the day of opening, the
school can be completely organized, and
in good working order. All enter upon
their duties with interest and zeal; and
the experience of previous terms in the
same position enables the teacher to
adapt her instruction to the character and
standing of her pupils, and the best
results are realized.
So it is in every kind of business, as all
understand. No business-firm would, if
they could avoid it, allow a quarterly
exchange of book-keepers in their mercantile-houses, of agents and overseers in
their factories, of financiers in their banks,
of masters for their merchantmen, of
commanders for their iron-clads, or of
engineers for their railroads. Businessmen make no such blunders. And yet
the changes here indicated would be no
more disastrous than frequent changes of
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THE CIHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
teachers. We need, first effciency, and
then permanency.   Failing to abide this
principle, at least fifty per cent of the
real profit of our schools, for the last fifty
years, has been lost.
PUBLIC SCHOOLS AiD A FREE STATE.
I have elsewhere argued the importance of the family in its relations to the
State; and have urged fidelity in family
discipline, that the children may be fitted
for the important duties of citizenship.
I now come to consider the public school
in its relations to our free government.
The character of the school is determined by the character of the families of
which it is composed; and the State must
become what the family and school have
made it.
The American common school, as
planted in New England and. transplanted
in every free State in the Union, is, in an
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important sense, a political institution, and
the very corner-stone of our government.
It is not a purely scholastic, domestic, nor
ecclesiastic institution; and yet it has
a close connection with the university,
the family, and the church. In it the
American people have their first drill in
public life. The child who enters the
public schoolroom for the first time
knows public life; and there can be no
substitute for the peculiar education in
citizenship he there receives. A public
school in America is a little republic,
where children of all orders of society,
and every grade of culture, are taught to
live together under a common system of
law, governed by public officials whose
authority is backed by the whole power
of the State. There, during the period
of school-life, he rehearses every phase of
the public life of his country. There he
receives that mental illumination and
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THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
rudimentary knowledge which help him
to be an intelligent citizen. There he
gains the more important instruction in
personal character as related to others
living under law.  There he learns how
to conduct himself in his relations to his
fellow-men, and to respect their rights.
When we consider the exclusiveness
of family-life, the clannish tendency of all
business-connections, the violent prejudices that influence individual members
of homes, churches, and professional
cliques, we can realize the importance of
that generous discipline of manhood and
womanhood which alone can fit our children  for  American  citizenship.   The
public school only can instruct the
masses of American people in what pertains to public character and public virtue.
It stands next above the family; and is
the first step out of that divine institution into that other divine organization,
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the State. And, if we can determine
what is the most essential element of
our national prosperity, we shall understand what is the most important lesson
to be taught in our public schools. And
can any doubt that that element is public virtue, and that lesson the morality
of the Bible? There was no question,
among our wise, practical, and devout
ancestors who established the American
public school, about its right and imperative duty to teach morality, and so
much of religious truth as is essential to
it. Indeed, the original common school
of our free States was a seminary of earnest moral patriotism.  Moral instruction
bore a large proportion to the entire
work of the school. The Bible was the
reading-book. The master who failed to
maintain a high standard of character,
and who could not preserve order, was
turned out. The sermons, exhortations,
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THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
and prayers in the schoolroom were
often more effective for the youthful congregation than those emanating from the
pulpit. This emphasis on moral and patriotic culture in the old schoolhouse was
one of the most powerful elements of our
national success.
The common school of our day has
made great progress in the line of outward accommodations, and methods of
scientific and literary instruction; but we
may fear that it is losing its original
power as the national teacher of public
character. As a scientific agency, it has
been prodigiously enlarged; but it is in
danger of losing that which once made
it our national sheet-anchor, as the natural teacher of public virtue, and the
training-school of American citizenship.
Intellectual brilliancy is too often, under the name of "culture," allowed to
override  every thing.   Instruction  in
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THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
morals and patriotism are too much neglected.
Our government is founded upon the
principles of Christianity; and hence the
Bible, which is our text-book of Christian
morals, should not only be retained, but
faithfully taught in our schools, not to
impart dogmas  and creeds, but to impress its own purifying and life-giving
precepts upon the tender heart of childhood. The personal and religious character of our teachers should be a matter
of earnest solicitude and inquiry on the
part of those who are intrusted with the
guardianship of public instruction.
The people's school should be cherished as a national birthright: it should
be located upon every hill-top and in
every valley, throughout the length and
breadth of this vast country; it should
receive the fostering care of our state
and central governments; it should bring
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THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
within its enclosure, for culture and instruction, all children of school-age, and
of every sect and condition in life; for
all are to become citizens, to share the
responsibility and to enjoy the blessings
of our free institutions.
Every effort of mistaken or misguided
men to subvert the public school, to
change its character and office, and to
turn it to secular and partisan purposes,
should be firmly and earnestly resisted.
Our laws guarantee to all religious freedom. Every man, and class of men, are
protected in the enjoyment of their own
religious views, and modes of worship.
Hence it is not proper that the public
school, established for the education of
the whole people, should be under ecclesiastical and partisan control.
Now, if we would cherish and sustain
our free government, and preserve untarnished for coming generations the bless
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ings which it is calculated to bestow, we
must turn back to the common school
bequeathed us by our fathers, which
took under its guardianship the public
morals, and inculcated the pure principles of patriotism. We must cling to
the Bible, the true source of all moral
instruction, and insist upon instilling its
conservative and purifying principles
into the minds and hearts of our children, and ingrafting them into their
lives. The present form of government
in America is the logical growth of a
Christian civilization which would be
impossible without the Christian morality
found in the New Testament.  All our
great political conflicts are essentially
moral; and we must realize the truth,
that we have no security in the present or
the future, except in the faithful training
of our children, in the family and the
school, according to the genius and spirit
208
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THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
of our peculiar institutions. To cast off
this duty of the State to teach public
virtue and Christian patriotism in her
schools would be a criminal surrender of
important principles and our dearest
rights, and would result in nothing less
than political suicide.
COMPULSORY ATTE.DA.NCE.
Our children belong to the State.
They will become citizens of this great
republic: and if it is true, as I have
asserted, that the public school alone can
instruct them in what pertains to public
character and public virtue; if here
alone we can hope to give them that culture and intelligence which are necessary
to American citizenship, - — it must follow
that the common school is a necessity,
and that its object will not be accomplished until all the children in the nation
shall enjoy its advantages.
18*
209 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
Just here comes in the plea for compulsory education.
The necessity for universal intelligence
and virtue to the perpetuity of a free
government was understood and provided for by our Pilgrim ancestors.
Their first and greatest efforts were made
in this direction. They established the
public school for the very purpose of imparting to the masses gratuitous primary
instruction and the morality of the Bible;
but they failed to see the importance of
making attendance upon these schools
obligatory.  Hence thousands upon thousands of unthinkinig or ungrateful parents in every free State in the Union
have allowed their children to grow up
in ignorance and vice, to their own injury and the peril of the republic.
Conscious of this mistake, and of the
alarming evils resulting from it, several
of our States have already added a
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THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
compulsory clause to their school-laws;
and when the whole American people
shall have reached the same conclusion,
and a general law compelling schoolattendance shall have been enacted, the
task of government will be much easier,
and the results flowing from popular rule
will be much more hopeful as the moral
tone of the nation is elevated.
United Germany and Switzerland owe
their greatest strength and security to
that feature of their laws which compels
parents to educate their children; and
such a law is equally consistent with
the genius of our own government.
Our school-system was established, and
has been maintained, under the superintendence of State authority. We compel our citizens to pay school-taxes, to
build and furnish schoolhouses, employ
teachers, and procure books; and may
we not with as much reason compel
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them to allow their children to  avail
themselves of the advantages -thus provided? The public weal demands the
school as a means of safety; and, to the
same end, it demands attendance upon
this school. A free State has a right to
maintain its own freedom by compulsory
laws; and hence it has the right, and
it is its duty, to compel intelligence in
every instance where ignorance would
be the result of voluntary action.
And the propriety of compulsory laws
in a republican form of government may
be seen by still further examples, drawn
from our own statute-books. The preservation of the State requires a military
force which the executive may raise and
control at discretion. The army and navy
are necessary to repel invasion, and subdue rebellion;  and we  find provision
made in our laws for either emergency.
We not only have a standing army and
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TIlE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
navy subject to the absolute control of
our President, but a militia composed of
our able-bodied citizens, who are subject
to a compulsory draft for military service.
But is it consistent with personal freedom
under a free government to compel a
citizen to leave his home, his family, and
his business, to enter upon the hard and
dangerous service of the camp and the
battle-field for the good of his country,
and not consistent to compel him to educate his children in the free public
schools to the same end?
May we compel a child to enter the
State Reform School, or House of Correction, and not rightfully compel him to
attend the public school, which may prevent the crime he has committed? May
we inflict severe penalties upon those who
have outraged the community by their
crimes, and not be allowed to enforce the
education of that class of children and
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youth from which nine-tenths of all our
criminals come?
Every law is an infringement upon the
personal freedom of that citizen who is
disposed to violate it; but such personal
liberty must be restrained, and such laws
must be enforced as have in view the good
of the State.
Our free government is based upon
the principle of freedom under law. It
guarantees the right of every citizen to
do as he pleases, so long as he pleases to
do right. It restrains him from doing
what is wrong, so far as that wrong
inflicts an injury upon the State.  Judged
by this principle, no man has any right
to allow his children to grow up in idleness, ignorance, and vice. The State has
provided the opportunity for their free
education: and, if they do not improve it,
they become a source of social danger.
Idleness and ignorance are sure condi
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THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
tions of vice and crime; and these are
elements of national decay.
It becomes the imperative duty of parents, therefore, not only to provide the
best advantages for the education of
their children in free public schools, but
also to see to it that such a law is enacted
and enforced as will insure the education
of every man's children in the neighborhood and State.
PARENTS' RELATIONS TO TEACHERS.
Parents have special duties to perform
in the relations they sustain to their
teachers. If well qualified and faithful,
as we demand, these teachers have a
right to claim fidelity and co-operation on
the part of their employers.
They should receive fair compensation
for their valuable services.
I see no reason why teaching should not
be as remunerative as other professional
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THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
labor, which is estimated not only as service, but in view of the time and money
spent in preparation. It is an admitted
principle, that wages should be increased
in proportion to the knowledge and skill
attained in every department of industry.
Common physical labor has its value;
and the same labor, when directed by
that intelligence and special ability which
qualify for leadership, as master-workmen, may demand more compensation.
And if the preparation for the desired
service requires special training; if years
of time and much money are necessary
to make that service available, as in the
learned professions,- salaries are raised
accordingly.
Hence the superintendent may receive
much more than the common operative;
the physician may demand as much for a
single visit as his patient would receive
for a day's labor; and the lawyer for an
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THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
hour's pleading, as much as his client for
a month's service.
It must follow, therefore, that the well qualified teacher should receive more pay
than the common day-laborer or the
illiterate household drudge. And yet, in
times past, this principle has not been
recognized; and our public school-teachers have been so poorly paid, that the better class have, in many instances, sought
other and more lucrative employments.
It is hoped that wiser counsels will prevail, and that parents everywhere will
see not only the propriety, but the necessity, of employing the best teachers at
their command, and paying themn liberally
for their services.
And teachers should have provided for
them a permanent and pleasant home in
the district where they teach.
I will not deny that there are some
advantages in the old practice of board
19
217 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
ing the schoolmaster "around." * He is
thus compelled to form an intimate
acquaintance with his patrons, and to
learn the peculiarities and wants of each
family. He may thus gain influence and
power in the management of his school
by securing the confidence and co-operation of his pupils and their parents.
Still all these social advantages can be
gained, without the evil contemplated, by
visiting these families at their homes, as
the teacher should always do.
No one more needs the conveniences
and comforts of a home than the laborious and care-worn instructress of our
children. She needs it for rest and comfort while she can be released from the
excitement and toil of the schoolroom.
* The author is aware that the habit of boarding the
teacher round is much less common than years ago. Still
it prevails in the rural districts to some extent, and
hence should receive a passing notice in this connection.
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THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
She needs it that she may have time and
opportunity to prepare herself for her
important school-duties. And she needs it
in common with all other civilized human
beings; as "there is no place like home,"
even though it be substituted and temporary.
What should we think of the church
that should require their pastor to board
among his parishioners; that should compel him to feel that he has among his
people "no abiding-place," but must go
with his wife and children from house to
house to get his daily bread? How
much time would such a minister have
to prepare himself for his pulpit-services?
Indeed, how greatly would his usefulness
be abridged by such a foolish effort on
the part of his parish to economize!
And suppose the village doctor was
required to board among his patients?
Such an idea would be ridiculed as pre
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THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
posterous; but why more unreasonable
to require the minister and doctor to
board in twenty different families every
three months than to require the schoolmaster and school-mistress to do the
same?
The teacher needs a steady, pleasant
home; and it is not only the imperative
duty but the best policy of trustees to
provide such a home.
Again: every teacher should be allowed
to manage his own school. If not competent to do so, he should not have been
employed. If a mistake has been made,
and an incompetent person engaged, the
difficulty will not be removed by the interference of parents.
Teachers often seek advice, and may
profit by it; but any effort on the part of
parents to dictate and control in the matter of school-management is not only unwise, but ruinous. The teacher too often
220 
THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
finds among his patrons those who presume to give gratuitous information and
counsel.  Mrs. A., in a very friendly spirit,
informs him that her neighbor has some
very bad boys who always make trouble
in school, and warns him to be on his
guard. Mrs. C. thinks it important that
he should know how sensitive the parents
in that district are on the subject of
corporal punishment, and advises him to
govern mainly by moral suasion.   She
assures him, if he will do so, he will be
popular and successful.
Mrs. L., an old school-teacher, has, in
her own estimation, some excellent ideas
upon different methods  of instruction;
and      she is very anxious that the master
should adopt them in that school. So the
meddlesome mischief-making  goes on,
until the young teacher is distracted and
perplexed beyond measure; and as he
cannot, if he would, listen to the sugges
19*
221 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
tions nor follow the advice of all, he is
sure to become the subject of tea-party
gossip, and of village criticism and abuse,
such as will greatly interfere with his usefulness, if it does not prevent his success,
in that district.
Wise teachers pay no attention to such
unwarrantable  interference; and  wise
parents allow and encourage the teacher
to manage his own school in his own way.
Another  important  idea:   Parents
should always sustain the teacher in maintaining his authority in the school. That
authority is supreme, and may never be
trifled with by the pupil.
Unconditional obedience in the school,
as well as in the family, is the rule; and
the teacher has a right to expect the
cordial support of all his patrons in
enforcing that rule. The best good of
the child, as well as the success of the
school, depends upon this co-operation.
222
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THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
Parents are too often ready to listen to
the complaints of their children, and to
sympathize with them in rebellion against
the authority of the school. It would be
better never to allow such fault-finding;
never to criticise, but always to sustain
the teacher in the presence of children.
If they can have the encouragement of
parents in their recklessness at school, they
will become bold and defiant, and will
paralyze, if they do not destroy, the influence and efforts even of the best teachers.
But grant that the teacher is in fault;
that he is really inefficient, and the school
comparatively worthless: it is better to
sustain even a poor teacher for months
than to allow the pupils to have any
agency in breaking up the school. If an
incompetent teacher is to be dismissed, it
should be done by the independent action
of the district, and not at the suggestion
or by the aid of pupils in rebellion. Let
:.-.!I.:.
I I              e  I.
3 "  e.  *        v  *.
223 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
them be kept in subjection by whatever
means necessary, without regard to the efficiency or inefficiency of the government
in power. Obedience and fidelity are
required of them in all their relations
to the school, no matter under what
circumstances they are placed. If all
parents should take this view of the
subject, and so co-operate and sustain
their teachers, our public schools would
be vastly more efficient and useful than
they ever have been; the spirit of insubordination which has manifested itself
to an alarming extent within a few years
past, in our public schools, academies, and
colleges, would soon be crushed out; and
our children, as they come up to assume
the responsibilities of life, would become
obedient and loyal citizens, and faithful
subjects under the government of God.
We little realize how much the discipline
of the family and the school have to do
224 
THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
in forming the character and habits of
the future man and woman as they will
appear in their relations to the State
and under the divine law. Mothers and
teachers, under God, make them what
they are, and through them determine
the character and destiny of the nation.
Again: parents should encourage their
teacher by manifesting a real interest in
his work, and by a hearty co-operation
in all his efforts to benefit the school.
Such sympathy and aid have their influence, not only upon the teacher, but upon
the school. Children are creatures of
impulse. They are greatly influenced by
circumstances, and in school-matters by
nothing more than by the interest or
apathy manifested by their parents.
It must follow, therefore, that if parents
would see their schools prosper, and their
children rising from grade to grade in a
thorough and systematic course of study,
225
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THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
they must manifest a deep interest and
an earnest enthusiasm in every thing that
pertains to the school.
They do not expect success in any
other enterprise without oversight and
interest. The tea-party, the sewing-circle,
the missionary-association, which are organized in every community for social
and benevolent purposes, could not prosper without the earnest attention of the
mothers and matrons who are interested
in them. No farmer would intrust the
training of his animals to exhibit at a
county-fair or upon the race-ground
without a personal supervision, and a deep
interest manifested in every stage of
progress. The servants who have the
direct care of these animals are encouraged by words of approval and praise,
and an abiding sympathy in all the
details of the process. And can it be a
matter of less importance and of less
226
i
i 
THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
interest to parents that their own children are under the process of training
for the stage of life and for immortality?
and can they afford to give up this work
of education so entirely to others, that
both the teacher and the children lose the
inspiring influence of an approving smile
and an encouraging word from them as
they toil on in their arduous work?
Next come the specific duties which
parents have to perform in these relations.  The degree of interest which they
feel in the working of their school is
manifest, -
1. In their efforts to secure constancy
and punctuality of attendance. Every
intelligent parent understands the importance of this suggestion. Children who
do not give their undivided time and
attention to the school suffer an irreparable loss of time, of ability, and of interest.
The days, half-days and hours of absence
227 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
and tardiness frequently amount to weeks
in terms, and months in years. And this
is not all: the loss of ability to study suiccessfully results from the loss of time.
Lessons are dependent upon each other;
and when one is learned, and the next
omitted, the scholar has no ability to
understand the third: he acquires superficial habits of study, becomes discouraged, and loses his interest in his lessons
and in the school. And still further:
the class and the school to which he
belongs suffer in consequence of his absences. The teacher's time is taxed in
giving him extra instruction; and yet he
drags behind his class. And thus, not
unfrequently, scholars of good ability
accomplish nothing, and lose all the benefit of the school, in consequence of tardiness and frequent absences which it is
the duty of parents to prevent. And,
beyond all these evil results, the habit of
228 
THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
irregularity is formed, which follows the
child through life. He who is habitually
tardy at school will be tardy at church,
tardy in business, and unreliable everywhere.
And it is equally objectionable to allow
children leave of absence before the regular hour for dismission. Parents should
so arrange their business and their meals
as to give their children the full control
of their time during the term of school;
and then they should insist upon constant
and punctual attendance. A word to
the wise is sufficient on this point.
2. The interest parents feel in the success of their school appears also in their
efforts to encourage fidelity and studiousness in their children.
Parents should not only give their children the time while the school is in
session, and insist upon their constancy and punctuality in attendance, but
20
229 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
should also impress upon them the importance of improving the opportunities
thus afforded. Much may be done to aid
in the successful working of the school
by earnest home-counsel. Point out to
these children the personal advantages to
be realized in the future by those who
improve their youth by self-culture.
Show them that their relative position in
society, their influence and usefulness, depend upon the manner in which they
spend their fleeting school-days. Encourage them faithfully to prepare every
lesson assigned them, and to cherish a
deep interest in every school-exercise, as
a means to the end in view.
Who can fail to see, that, if such an
interest should be manifested and such
an influence exerted in every family in
the district by the parents, a power
would be brought to bear upon the school
which would be felt for good in its ele
230
I — 
THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
vation and prosperity? Teachers would
by such co-operation be inspired with
new hope and encouragement, and would
renew their diligence and fidelity in the
noble work in which they are engaged.
A want of such encouragement and aid
has been a fruitful source of difficulty and
failure in the public schools of our country.
3. Parents who have a suitable degree
of interest will seek frequent opportunities to visit their schools.
Every parent in every district in the
nation should visit his children's school
at least twice during every term.
These visits should not be made for the
purpose of interfering with the discipline
of the school, or of assisting in conducting its exercises.  It is presumed that the
teacher employed is entirely competent
to manage his own affairs. But parents
should visit their schools to learn how
231
lr_ 
THE PARENTS' MAINUAL.
they are conducted, and to manifest their
interest in the education of their children.
These occasional visits will do more than
any thing else can do to rouse and
encourage the teacher, and to inspire the
pupils with zeal and earnestness in the
discharge of their school-duties. Such
visits have a decided influence over the
deportment of the school. They tend to
cultivate pride of character, school-pride,
and self-respect in the pupils, and to
check all tendencies to disorder and
rebellion. Few children are so abandoned and reckless as to indulge in
improper conduct in the presence of
visitors, or so lost to self-respect as to
feel no interest in the reputation of the
school.   Hence  under   such  restraint
they learn to cultivate the habit of good
order, and to give respectful attention.
Again: parental visits have an influence to secure a higher order of scholar
232
rl_ 
THE CHILDREN AT SCHOOL.
ship in the school.  They awaken a new
interest, and create a new zeal, in the
work of the schoolroom. Children have
a laudable desire to appear well in the
presence of critics; and hence they will
labor to prepare their lessons.
These are some of the obvious and
necessary results of a faithful discharge
of parental duty in school relations.
And it seems proper here to inquire
of parents, as a practical question, how
far they have performed these duties.
Have you, my friend, whose eye may
fall upon this printed page, always sustained the teacher of your children in
maintaining the authority of the school?
Have you encouraged that teacher by
your own manifest zeal, interest, and cooperation in the arduous and important
work you have assigned him? And, to
be more specific, have you made special
efforts to secure the constant and punc
20*
233 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
tual attendance of your children upon
the exercises of the school? Have you
encouraged their fidelity and studiousness as pupils by earnest and constant appeals to their reason and conscience?
And, finally, do you visit your school at
frequent intervals, and thus inspire and
encourage your children and their teacher
in the noble work you have given them
to do?  If so, do it more faithfully hereafter: if not, from this hour wake up to
a consciousness of your obligations in
this regard, and henceforth do your duty.
234
in 
x.
THE CHILDREN IN SOCIETY.
URING all these years of home and
school life, our children must mingle more or less in society. Hence, in the
discipline of the family, parental watchfulness and care must have regard also
to this source of educational influence
and danger.
Childhood is confined, for the most
part, to the family-circle. Its associations are formed amid the endearing relations of home. Away from the strife
and bustle of the world, it breathes a
purer atmosphere, and feels the more
exalted and refining influences of love
and affection.
285 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
Youth is more exposed. It mingles
in the village and the school with companions and strangers, and necessarily
receives the impress of their example.
The daily transactions of life, the public
meeting, the customs, manners, and laws
of society, the arts, the professions, - all
these, which constitute the real life of
manhood, bring a powerful influence to
bear upon our children long before they
reach maturity.
And, that we may understand how far
parental responsibility extends in this
direction, let us inquire to what extent
the influence of society may control the
education and determine the destiny of
these children. This influence, as brought
to bear upon them for good or for evil,
may be regarded as threefold; viz., the
positively bad, the negatively bad, and
the positively good.
The positively bad influence is found
236 
THE CHILDREN I. SOCIETY.
in the prevalence in community of false
views of life, erroneous principles, and a
corrupt state of public taste and morals.
The influence of the wretched habits of
thought, feeling, and action, that is often
found in community, is sufficient to counteract, neutralize, or destroy the results
of the most successful education. And
this controlling influence of society is felt
much earlier than is generally supposed.
Could the mother's love and pure example control the child until early manhood,
he would be comparatively safe; but
how often is public example responsible
for impressions made upon the almost
infant spirit!-for a train of influences
which contaminate the atmosphere of
the nursery and the schoolroom! How
often has the true mother, acting in all
the dignity of her exalted position, by a
calm and Christian spirit and a pure
Christian example, instructed, refined, and
237
Wl 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
elevated her child, until, under God, it
seemed to be allied to the angels in its
nature! - and still as often the world has
come in to mar her beautiful workmanship, and sometimes to destroy it.
It follows, therefore, that either these
corrupting influences of society must be
removed, or counteracted and controlled
by the special vigilance and earnest
action of parents in the training of their
children.
And the negatively bad influence of
society produces much evil to the cause
of education. The child comes from the
bosom of the family, his heart all glowing
with the kindly influences of home, and a
love of the pure and beautiful: the pupil
leaves the school, where he has tasted
the sweets of learning, and felt the
inspiring influence of the earnest and
true teacher's example. They enter the
community where there is felt but little
238 
THE CIILDREN IN SOCIETY.
interest for the child, or his school, or his
education. Their warm affections meet
a  cold  and  lifeless formality.   Their
thoughts are diverted from the themes
connected with their own culture and elevation to the world of fashion, politics,
and speculation. And what must be the
influence of such a change upon the child
and the pupil? It cannot fail to paralyze
or destroy every effort for his improvement, and all the beneficial results of any
nominal system of education.
A positively good educational influence in society implies the existence of
a high tone of moral and religious sentiment, a deep and abiding interest in
the education of the children at home
and in school, and a corresponding activity both in private and public. More
than half a century ago, Edmund Burke,
in speaking of the English and French
nobility, said the French had the advan
239
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THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
tage of the English in being surrounded
by a powerful out-guard of military
education. IHow powerful that out-guard
was against the attack of an internal foe,
the strange history of that nation will
show.
How much more wise and noble the
purpose of society to protect the rising
generation by implanting around them
the more powerful out-guard of a
thorough Christian education! The educational influence of society thus constituted would be great beyond comparison.
It would not only protect the tender interests of those well educated in the
family, but would gather in the neglected
and  half-ruined from the "hedges" and
"highways," and train them also for usefulness.  Society should be itself a school,
capable of imparting every lesson and
precept fitted to elevate and enrich the
human character. It should be the guar
240
L. 
THIE CHILDREN IN SOCIETY.
dian of domestic and public education,
of private and public virtue, and the exemplar of that religion which purifies the
heart and elevates the affections.
The historian informs us that the laws
of Lycurgus and Solon were only the
public sentiment of the age in which they
lived, and that their names have  been
immortalized for doing what circumstances demanded. Fortunate it would
be if such a state of public sentiment
existed among us as would not only
create wholesome laws, but the necessity
of their execution; as would not only
compel us to feel the importance of education to our individual, social, and civil
welfare, but to act consistently with such
a conviction. The cause of popular education in our country needs the genuine
protection, and true-hearted, life-inspiring
sympathy, of the public.
21
241
1, 
THE PARENTS' MfANUAL.
SPECIAL DAGERS.
The special dangers to which our children are exposed, as they come out of
the family to mingle in society, may now
be considered.
And, first, I will name corrupt associations. Where is the city, the village, or
neighborhood, in which may not be found
the dissipated, profane, and vile? And
how  often do they disturb the public
peace by boisterous demonstrations, cousume the products of industry by their
idleness and waste, sap the foundations
of virtue, and pollute the very atmosphere they breathe!
In large cities these corrupters of
youth sometimes organize in order to
practise their iniquity with more success.
They follow gambling, thieving, robbery,
and murder, as a business, and extend
their operations far and near in every
242
i 
THE CHILDREN IN SOCIETY.
direction.   Their  representatives, more
or less mature in the art of crime, are
scattered over the rural districts. Everywhere they exert their pernicious influence over the unwary and artless youth
by whom they are surrounded; and these,
too, become contaminated.
In the beginning, it is not so much the
fault as the misfortune of these victims
of dissipation and crime that they fall
into this evil way. In many instances,
the most noble traits of character are the
source of their greatest danger. They
are genial, generous, and confiding, and
hence companionable and sympathetic,
and ready to follow where others may
lead. They do not suspect the evil to
which they are exposed, nor the pitfalls
which lie along the path they tread; and
hence the danger is all the more alarming.
Corrupt associations are at first more
243
F 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
commonly met in the streets, in loafers'
hall, and in the bar-room, where the idle
and vicious are accustomed to congregate. Once initiated, these impulsive
youth are led along by a natural process,
and by slow degrees are hardened for
the crimes of maturer life. They may
find their way to the house of correction,
the reform-school, or the prison; or they
may escape these reforming agencies, and
become desperate characters.
It is sad to remember that these corrupting influences are sometimes met by
children of tender age in their own
homes. The example of a profane, dissipated, and ungodly life is constantly before them. They feel its power, and are
drawn by it thus early into the fearful
current that nears the whirlpool, and
bears its unsuspecting victims towards
the threatened ruin. The corrupt society
of the school and neighborhood increases
244
i —zr; 
TEE CHILDREN IN SOCIETY.
the peril in such cases, and makes more
sure the destruction that awaits these
unfortunate children. If the home-influences have been good, the perils which
beset the path of inexperienced youth
as they come out to mingle in society is
still fearful.
Another source of special danger to
the young as they come in contact with
the world is a corrupt literature.
As soon as our children learn to read,
they are exposed to the corrupting influence of the vile trash bearing the name
of literature with which our country is
flooded.   It is found in the form of
obscene books, periodicals, and papers,
which, though strictly prohibited by law
from circulating through the mail, find a
ready market and an extensive sale. It is
found in the illustrated "Police Record"
and other sensational works, which tend
to excite the vicious propensities, and
21*
245 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
lead to crime. It is found in the storytelling monthlies and weeklies which are
sold by thousands in the streets, at the
railroad-stations, on every train of cars,
on every line of steamboats, and everywhere that the vender can find a purchaser. The larger proportion of the
exciting stories of the present day are
strongly impregnated with moral poison,
and are fearfully productive of evil to
the young.
The several classes of literature to
which I have alluded must be regarded
as of a decidedly immoral tendency. Our
children who come in contact with it
cannot shun pollution.
And  the whole class of light, cheap
literature, as it is written, and read by
the multitude, is destructive of the best
interests of our children.
Some works of fiction are approved,
and may be read with interest and profit;
246 
THE CHILDREN IN SOCIETY.
but promiscuous novel- reading, even
where there is no immoral tendency,
serves to weaken the intellect, pervert
the taste, and destroy the power of close
application which is indispensable to
thorough mental discipline and sound
scholarship.
"Life is real; life is earnest;" and preparation for its stern duties can never be
made by those who waste their time in
idle dreaming over the senseless novel of
the hour.
And the young are also exposed to
the prevalence in community of perverted
views of life, and false views of religious
truth.
And what are the chief aims of men
and women in the world, as viewed from
the standpoint of pure and artless childhood? Many, it is believed, are actuated
by exalted motives to the attainment of
noble ends. Such examples stand out in
247
PI 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
bold relief to adorn the pages of the
world's history, and reflect honor upon
the race. But how many are seen in the
eager pursuit of wealth as the grand
object of life! — not as a means of usefulness, but to hoard or squander for their
own  gratification.   And such men  are
sometimes unscrupulous as to the means
by which they aim to gain their object.
Few indeed reach by such means the
fancied prize, or realize the desired satisfaction; and yet they afford an example
of false  views  of life.   Others  seek
position and power; and how often do
they sacrifice their peace, their manliness,
their all, for the bubble fame!
Still others bow down and worship at
the shrine of fashion and folly. How
numerous, how devout, and how servile,
this class of worshippers! But is the
grand aim of life either the pursuit of
wealth,  power,  or  pleasure?   Surely
248
i
r-l 
THE CHILDREN IN SOCIETY.
there must be a higher and nobler purpose to be attained.  But how are our
children to view the subject, if taught
only by the example of the society in
which they mingle?  Will they not be
likely to adopt the same views of life,
and to seek the same selfish end? What
shall hinder?
And peril from false views of religious
truth is equally alarming. The chilling
influence of infidelity on the one hand,
and the withering power of fanaticism
on the other, will be felt upon them as
soon as they leave the protection of the
Christian home and school, and even
while   under   parental   guardianship.
They cannot escape these influences; and
the earnest inquiry of every parent
should be, how his children may be
protected from the evils of society here
contemplated.
249 
THE PARENTS' MAINUAL
TiE PRACTICAL QUESTION
returns to us, How shall parents protect
their children from the public perils
which surround them?
In answering this inquiry, I may first
suggest, in general, We must rely mainly
upon the pleasant home and faithful hometraining. To save our children from the
corrupting influences of bad associates,
they must be separated from them as
much as possible. To this end, let home
be made pleasant and attractive. Throw
around it every charm, and open within
it the sources of every rational enjoyment.
Children must be amused; and, if they
do not find such amusements at home as
their natures crave, they will seek them
abroad amid corrupting public influences.
there are sports and games which are
harmless in the family-circle, that would
250 
THE CHILDREN IN SOCIETY.
lead to dissipation and crime if indulged
in the little club-houses and saloons where
the reckless and profane are accustomed
to congregate; and the practical question for parents to settle is, whether they
will provide these means of home-enjoyment for their children, or leave them to
spend their long evenings  and "rainy
days" away from home-protection, and
with companions of doubtful character.
No sensible parent, it seems to me, can
long hesitate on a question so plain. It
is idle to talk of holding and restraining
these children by the force of authority
alone in such matters. It is wise to
interest them at home, and thus protect
them from the contagion of immoral
associations.
To the same end, parents should encourage and patronize such public entertainments as are harmless and profitable,
that their children may be occupied, and
251 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
protected from the exciting and dissipating influences of such exhibitions as are
given by "Jim Crow and Company" and
kindred troupes through the length and
breadth of our land. They pervert the
public taste and poison the morals of
every community, and cannot fail to reach
our youth whose time and attention are
not better occupied.
Social neighborhood-gatherings for the
young and the old, with their sports and
games; the lyceum, with its debatingclub and public literary and scientific
lectures,- are among the best substitutes
for the demoralizing attractions of the
outside world.
And how shall our children be protected from the fearful influence of a
corrupt literature?   It is of the first
importance to cultivate in them a taste
for the solid branches and hard study.
In this way the ground will be pre-occu
252 
THE CHILDREN IN SOCIETY.
pied. The student whose time is earnestly devoted to the study of language,
mathematics, and the sciences, will also
be interested in history and the standard
works of English literature. He will
have no taste for the dissipating and corrupting novel which is thrown in his
way. It is the idle brain that craves the
excitement of fiction; it is the unoccupied and undisciplined mind that murders time in poring over senseless
stories. If the taste is not perverted,
the time of our children will be fully
employed in profitable study and reading.
Correct habits of thought and action will
grow with their growth, and strengthen
with their strength, until they are fortified against the influences of a perverted
literature.
For the same purpose, parents should
organize to establish town and village
libraries, which should be selected with
22
253
or 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
the greatest care, for the free use of
every  family.   These  should  contain
books of reference, history, biography,
science, and literature; books of criti  cism, travels, and reviews. From them
should be excluded all merely sensational
and immoral works  of fiction.   Such
libraries are useful, not only to occupy
the time that would otherwise be worse
than wasted by many, but they furnish
substantial aids to self-culture and im  provement.
Great care must also be exercised in
selecting magazine and newspaper read  ing. Among these the serpent is more
often coiled, and through them his poison
is diffused. Parents should scrupulously
exclude from their homes and their pub  lic reading-rooms all this spurious and
corrupting literature, whether found in
the monthly, weekly, or daily.
Their children will then avoid the
254 
THE CHILDREV IN SOCIETY.
temptation and the danger, and will be
left to feed upon more healthy diet, and
to breathe a purer atmosphere.
With these precautions and safeguards
thrown about them, they will be comparatively safe. But the great importance of moral and religious culture, to
prepare them to escape the dangerous
influences of society, cannot be overestimated.
The chief point to be gained in the
discipline of the family is the formation of
character. But character must be built
upon principle; and principle must draw
its vitalizing power from the pure morality of the gospel.   External circumstances are important; but internal motives control the will, and regulate the
life. Hence our children, to be safe in
the midst of public perils, must be "pure
in heart," and fully established in the
habits of right thought and action.
255 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
Human life is a battle-field, in which
every youth finds himself opposed by
hostile enemies who seek his destruction.
Without strength or experience, he is
unequal to the contest. He must first
be guarded and sustained by the vigilance, wisdom, and strength of those
whom God has placed over him. Parental discipline must create and develop self-reliance, and direct self-culture.
Surrounded by every means of protection, he must be taught to fight his own
battles, and. gain his own victories, even
to the attainment of a noble character and
a pure life.
So may our children withstand the
corrupting and insnaring influences of
society if they are armed with "the
breastplate of righteousness," "the shield
of faith," "the helmet of salvation," and
"the sword of the Spirit, which is the
word of God."
256
ISF 
XI.
MISCELLANEOUS SUGGESTIONS.
TAKE it for granted that parents
who read these pages feel the greatest interest in the results of family discipline, as applied to their own children,
to say the least. Indeed, who can contemplate these results without the deepest solicitude? And if this feeling is
cherished from the beginning, and constantly during the whole process of
training until the period of maturity is
reached, it will tend greatly to secure
the end in view.
I have pointed out the danger of mismanagement, and the true system of
government in the family. I have at           22*                   257 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
tempted to make clear the duties of
parents in relation to their schools, the
system to be adopted, the outfit to be
made, the laws to be enacted and enforced, the necessary qualifications of
teachers, and the sympathy and co-operation which they have a right to expect
and claim from their employers in their
difficult and important work.
But I have not spoken particularly of
the erroneous views so prevalent in
every community as to the nature and
object of a thorough, practical education.   I may, therefore,  here suggest,
with a view to correct, some of these
false theories.
By  many,  education is regarded  as
valuable only so far as it imparts certain
mnechanical accomplishments.  If a child
can read and write and cipher, so as to
be able to transact the ordinary business
of life, some parents think that the end
258 
MISCELLANEOUS SUGGESTIONS.
of the school is attained. Others would
add certain higher scholastic attainments,
such as drawing, painting, music, and a
smattering of two or three modern languages, that their children may be liberally educated.   Such branches as these
they suppose to be all that are necessary
for a practical and finished education.
They seem to forget that the child has
powers and sentiments, which, if uncultivated in early life, will be stifled or perverted so as to become useless or mischievous in riper years; that his moral
and intellectual character must be formed,
and fixed habits of thought and action
established. Whatever the man should
be, or should do, must result from the
training of the boy.
These mechanical accomplishments are
proper and desirable in their place and
time, but do not constitute a practical
education.
259 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
Another prevailing error, nearly related to the one just noticed, makes education to consist in acquiring knowledge.
It is true that knowledge, as attained
in the process of education, is a disciplinary agency, and is indispensable to the
end in view. But it must not be mistaken for education itself.  That consists
in the development of power, and not
in the attainment of knowledge. The
popular error which I here expose assumes that no study is practical which
cannot at once be used. Hftence, when
a solid course of disciplinary studies is
recommended, the multitude cry out
with Falstaff of honor,
"Can honor set to a leg?  No:... therefore I'll
none of it."
With this false notion, the study of the
higher mathematics and languages is of
260 
MISCELLANEOUS SUGGESTIONS.   261
no consequence to those who are to be
engaged in the common avocations of
life. They need only a little k'nowledye
of arithmetic, grammar, and history, and
perhaps, in some instances, a few facts in
natural science.
The same delusion has flooded  our
country with professional schools (so
called) for mere boys, who have had no
time nor opportunity for the culture necessary to fit them for a course of public
instruction.   Hence  they  are  rushed
through to graduation in the shortest
possible course. The beardless boy, who
has attended one of our commercial colleges for four short months, comes home
with his diploma, and is supposed by his
deluded father to have become a fullgrown man. He has gained some knowledge, it; claimed, of practical business,
and hence is educated.  And why do the
learned professions turn out so many 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
quacks and pettifoggers, if not from the
mistaken notion that education is the attainment of knowledge merely, and is
designed to fit the person for some special
business or profession?
Under the influence of this same false
system, "' Science even has turned quack
to suit the impatience and impertinence
of a money-loving and labor-saving age;
and, extracting the quintessence of all
subjects, she has put up morals, physics,
politics, literature, yea, all things, in convenient and portable forms, and labelled
with suitable directions; so that the mere
child, by swallowing -the diluted and filtered condensation, shall, in an incredibly
short time, know more than his grandmother."
And, from this same soil of perverted
public opinion, there has sprung up a
new crop of school-books and school-systems adapted to this practical age. The
262 
MISCELLANEOUS SUGGESTIONS.
old subjects are made new and attractive;
difficult principles are simplified; hard
examples are solved; and the highway to
learning, which used to be up the "hill
of Science," is now not only a level road,
but the journey may be taken at our leisure in saloon-cars. Indeed, under this
new system, it is much easier to be educated than to live in ignorance.
This happy era in the book-world is
graphically described by one writer in
the following language: "The same bookstuff is hashed and cooked in a dozen
different ways: pictures now at the top
of the page, and questions at the bottom;
then pictures and questions reversed;
then pictures in the middle, surrounded
by a frame of crabbed-looking questions
in small type. Wonderful variety! It
furnishes big and little potatoes to-day,
and little and big potatoes to-morrow."
The end of education is the power or
263
. 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
art of t7inking. This power is acquired,
but never inborn. It is always the price
of long-continued and patient study.
Talents, though "angel bright," and
even genius, need culture, to be educated, as really as the most ordinary
intellects. The mere absorption of knowledge, as the sponge absorbs water, gives
no discipline; and hence the acquiring
of knowledge is not the object to be
gained, but the development of mental
power.
The educated man has gained the
ability to control the exercises of his own
mind, to think upon a given subject
earnestly and logically, and to reason
and judge accurately and correctly. The
uneducated man has no such ability:
his thoughts are isolated and confused,
and his knowledge comparatively useless.
How, then, shall the child be educated?
There is but one method. His powers
264
r 
MLISCELLANEOUS SUGGESTIONS.
of body, mind, and soul, are to be cultivated and moulded into harmonious manhood through exercise. The growth and
health of the body depend upon this
law. The blacksmith's right arm is made
strong and vigorous by constant pounding:
the skilful gymnast and the veteran soldier have developed and strengthened
their muscular systems by gymnastic and
military drill: the musician learns to discourse sweet music upon the piano or
organ, or with the voice, only by long and
patient practice. These arts could never
be acquired by reading books or hearing
lectures. Mere knowledge will avail
nothing in the education of the body.
And the same law applies to mental
and moral as well as physical culture.
The child acquires the power to think by
thAzking, and the power of expressing
his thoughts by reciting.  Every mental
faculty is developed, and all practical
23
265 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
ability is gained, by these two processes.
If the mind is educated, study and recitation must be continued through many
long years.
The mushroom comes to maturity in a
single day; but the stately tree, whose
deep roots, solid trunk, and vigorous
limbs, brave the storm and the tempest,
is the growth of a century. We want no
mushroom growths in bour families or
schools, or in society; and hence I cannot tolerate that false and ruinous system
which claims that knowledge, and not discipline, is the end of teaching. I cannot
advise parents to patronize such schools
as claim the ability to educate their children by a new process in a few short
months. All analogy, all reason, and all
experience, point us to the slow growth
of Nature's choicest plants as illustrating
the true theory of mental development
and the true system of education.
266
It 
MISCELLANEOUS SUGGESTIONS.    267
It matters little under what circumstances, but in some way the mind must
be tasked and trained by patient toil and
self-denial for many years to be educated.
Nor is knowledge the end of moral
culture.   The practice of virtue alone
moulds and matures the good man's
character. A knowledge of the divine
law is essential as a guide to duty; but
active obedience alone can form the habit
of well-doing, and elevate the man to the
condition of the saint.
The popularprejudice against this view
of education is based upon the error,
that no branches of study are practical
which are not brought into immediate
use. That this is an error will appear to
all who carefully examine the subject.
For instance, it is not claimed that the
gymnast will need his dumb-bells, rings,
and wands, in the duties of active life;
rx
v, 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
but he will need and use the strength
and vigor which these athletic exercises
impart at all times and everywhere. The
student of books may never find in his
business or profession any direct use
for the higher mathematics and languages
which were required of him in his course
of studies; but he will find constant use
for the well-trained mental powers and
faculties which the study of these subjects has cultivated.
The study of history and literature
may not materially aid the laborer in his
struggles to gain a living for himself and
family; but a knowledge of these branches will impart that intelligence and culture which will elevate the man, and
prepare the citizen better to perform his
important duties. Every department of
study is practical, so far as it can cultivate the power of thought and expression, and elevate the human being to a
higher grade of civilization.
268
I 
MISCELLANEOUS SUGGESTIONS.
Still further: every subject of thought
and study has some practical bearing
upon every other subject. Hence, the
more accurate the investigation and the
more extensive the knowledge upon collateral topics, the better fitted is any
man for the practical use of what he
must know to succeed in any given department.   Common  arithmetic is intimately connected with the higher branches of mathematics; the sciences have no
well-defined lines of separation; and the
languages, both living and dead, have
one common bond of union.
A practical education, therefore, implies not only extensive culture, but extensive and varied knowledge; and the
more extensive and thorough, the more
practical it will be.
There are in the world two classes of
men,- t -thii/ers and doers.  The thinkers
ar e educated: the mere doers are unedu           23*
269 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
cated. The one class are men of thought;
the other, men of limited knowledge. But
the educated are far superior to the
uneducated.   Thinkers are the masters
in every department of life, and have
been  in every age.   Patient  thinkers
have made all the discoveries, wrought
out the inventions, and created the science, of the world. Indeed, we owe to
these men all the practical advantages
that crown our highest civilization.
The doers are entirely dependent upon
the thinkers for the knowledge they have
of their trade or profession.   The undisciplined yeomanry cultivate the soil; but
men of culture have created and brought
within their reach the science and literature of agriculture. Common sailors can
navigate the ship; but the science of
navigation and the invention of the mariner's compass are the work of accurate
thinkers, who have trained their minds
270 
MISCELLANEOUS SUGGESTIONS.    271
by earnest study to habits of thought
and investigation.
The common impression is, that men
who have devoted themselves exclusively
to abstract study are not practical men.
As mathematicians or chemists or philosophers, they seem not to have done much
for the world; but, without their thinkingy, there could have been no doing.
Bridget makes our bread; but who
discovered and taught her to apply the
chemical principles by which good bread
can be made?
The unlettered engineer may run the
steam-car with marvellous skill and success: but who invented the engine? and
who discovered the laws of steam, and
the application of this motive power to
machinery?
The common laborer may manufacture
and set up the telegraph, and stretch the
wires over hill and dale; limited knowl 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
edge enables the mere youth to work the
keys, and communicate thought with the
rapidity of lightning from town to town
and city to city, and even through ocean's
dark caverns to distant continents: but
who first discovered the chemical laws
by which this wonderful art is made possible? and who chained the lightning
of heaven, to become the fleet messenger
and obedient servant of man? Profound
tinkers have done all these wonderful
things.  Doers have only employed the
knowledge and power which thinkers
have placed within their reach.
Who, then, are the practical men in
practical life, if not such men as Watt,
Franklin, Fulton, Stephenson, Newton, and
Morse? Yet many doers in every community affect to despise such thinkers,
and to regard them as of little consequence in the world. But, as a matter of
fact, without the results of the study and
272
!T
I 
MISCELLANEOUS SUGGESTIONS.
toil of such men, common men could do
nothing.
Thinkers, after all, are recognized, and
in a measure appreciated, even by their
critics. They do them homage: they go
to them for light in the hour of darkness, for guidance in prosperity, and
for protection in danger. From the very
nature of the case, the thinkers are to
the doers as masters to servants; and
must forever remain so, unless all shall
become educated.
If, then, it is the province of education
to impart the power of thinking, it must
follow that all who have not acquired
that power are not educated. And just
here comes in the practical suggestion,
that parents should establish such a system of instruction, and adopt such a
course of elementary training, in the
family and in the school, as will transform all their children into thinkers.
273 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
This would, in one generation, destroy
the oligarchy which exercises the mastership over the masses in every community; not by crushing out the thinkers
who have elevated society to its present
condition of civilization, but by educating and elevating all to the condition of
the few. If knowledge is power only to
those who are able to employ it, we shall
increase that power tenfold or a hundredfold by adding to it the ability to think.
Education, as here defined, is not for
the rich, nor for the poor; not for the
mechanics, nor for the farmers; not for
the clergy, nor for the laymen: it is for
all. All our children should acquire the
art of thinking. Other attainments and
accomplishments without this are of
comparatively little importance. But a
well-arranged and thorough disciplinary
course of study will necessarily impart
the desired intelligence and refinement.
274 
MISCELLANEOUS SUGGESTIONS.   275
The prevailing error in regard to the
nature of education has led many parents to believe that its only object is to
fit their children directly for some trade,
art, office, or profession. But thorough
mental discipline is alike important for
all, and should be secured without special
reference to their future employment or
profession. When thus educated, they
will be fitted for professional instruction
under masters in merchandise, farming,
engineering, law, medicine, divinity, eloquence, poetry, or painting, as the case
may be.
And here we meet another popular
error; viz., that our children may be
moulded by education into fitness for any
sphere of active life as clay in the hands
of the potter is moulded into} any form.
With this false view, the impression has
prevailed that all the young men who
can pursue a liberal course of study (alnd 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
many who have only limited culture)
must enter one of the learned professions.
The deluded father is anxious that all his
sons should follow in his footsteps, and
desires that each should become what
he is,- a mechanic, farmer, lawyer, doctor, or clergyman, as the case may be.
And is not this the reason why we
have so many unskilful mechanics, indifferent farmers, and floating professional
men, who have failed to sustain themselves in the positions they have undertaken to occupy? All men and women
are fitted by their Creator for some sphere
of usefulness. There is some position in
which every one could achieve success,
and secure honor to himself and profit to
others, if he could only find it. Hiow,
then, shall-our children find their places
in the world? This is the practical and
important question to be answered.
First of all, parents should see to it
276
77 
MISCELLANEOUS SUGGESTIONS.
that their children are thoroughly educated.  Every one needs discipline, whatever sphere in life he is to occupy. Then
he should be left free to consult his own
tastes, preferences, and peculiarities; and
should be advised only in view of his
manifest fitness for the position he is
likely to select.
No parent can know whether his son is
adapted to the farm, the work-shop, the
pulpit, the forum, the sick-room, or the
school-room, as well as the son knows
himself. Many a failure in life has resulted from parental advice and dictation,
or forced professional training. Let all
learn wisdom from such failures; and,
while they aim to give their children
every possible opportunity for culture
and improvement, let their own taste
and better judgment mark out their future life-work.
How much more honorable and profit
24
277 
THiE PARENTS' MANUAL.
able would be these very mechanical arts
which clothe and feed us, if all doers
were also independent thinkers, and each
especially adapted to act the part assigned him!
Do we realize how soon the generation
of children who are now being trained
in our families and schools will be called
into active life?   These  children will
come up to act the part of citizens, parents, officers, counsellors, trustees, schoolcommittees, examiners, and perhaps lawyers, commanders of armies and navies.
They will act in a thousand ways
where the interests, character, and lives
of men will depend solely upon their
power of thought, and their adaptation
to the places they occupy in society.
Who can estimate the loss of time, the
perversion of talent, and the waste of material, from the want of ability to think
and act with wisdom and  promptness?
278 
MISCELLANEOUS SUGGESTIONS.
How many estates have been ruined
and characters blasted, how much good
influence has been paralyzed, how many
lives lost, and how many governments
overthrown, simply from the lack of mental culture, and from the misdirection of
mental power!
The end of teaching is to fit our children to achieve the highest success in life.
No parent can be indifferent to this result; and hence the wisest means should
be employed, and the greatest care taken,
to secure it.
A thorough practical education implies
the cultivation of the habit of fixed attention.   This is not only a condition
of success, but the result of successful
mental discipline. The habit of perseverance in the midst of trials and disappointments, and of patience to endure
the hardships of life, are acquired also in
this rigid school of discipline. The taste,
279 
THE PARENTS' MANUAL.
imagination, memory, and judgment are
cultivated in the very process of disciplinary training; and the conscience,
developed under the influence of divine
truth, is made the ruling power of the
mind and heart. With such an education,
our children would be thoroughly furnished for their life-work: without it, we
can leave them no inheritance that will
secure their future success and usefulness.
One more thought in this connection,
and I close these chapters upon the training of the family.
The children whom the parents of this
generation have intrusted to their care
and instruction stand at the opening of
the most eventful day, and in the midst
of the most stirring scenes, in the history
of our world.   Let the scenes of the
past and the hopeful prophecies of the
future encourage us to prepare them, by
280
.: 
MISCELLANEOUS SUGGESTIONS.
solid mental and moral culture, for the
duties and responsibilities of opening
manhood and womanhood. With a mind
thus trained to the defence and imbued
with the love of truth, they will go forth
to guide the storm, and gather up its
mingled elements, for the redemption of
man and the glory of God.
24*
281 
I 
INDEX.
Abuse of gentle means, 40.
Activity of children natural and necessary, 59.
Age to be sent to school, 140, 142.
Apparatus, school, important, 167, 169.
Aptness to govern and teach possessed by some, wanting
in others, 28, 181, 182, 183.
Art of thinking, the end of education, 264.
Authority: none doubt the propriety of enforcing to
protect from danger, 20; the only basis of family
government, divinely established, 44; always the con   trolling power, 46; mildI and gentle in its more effec   tive aspects, 47; must be absolute, 65; must be en   forced, 66; a natural gift, 182.
Babes, home school better than public for, 141.
Bible in schools, 204-208.
Blackboard, 168.
Boarding round, 217, 218, 219.
Book of Nature to be studied by children, 121.
Bribing, method of spoiling children, 41.
Cabinet for schools, 169.
Certainty, more than severity, makes punishment ef   fectual, 51.
283
r 
INDEX.
Children: love for parents, moulded by their influence,
13; in the garden and cultivated field, 122; in the
orchard and wood, 123; on the farm, 124; with the
animals, 125; at school, 138; in society, 235.
Childlike, the more, the better qualified the parent to
govern, 55.
Character and habits, 72.
China plate, illustration, 193.
Christianity, great truths of, should be taught diligently
to children: what truths, 109; how impressed, 110;
how taught, 112.
Commendation as important as punishment, 55; example
of, 56; the mother never makes nmistakes in one in   stance, 57.
Common sense in teachers, 174.
Compulsory attendance, 209, 210; laws of Germany, 211;
consistent under republican government, 212, 213,
214.
Consequence of no governient, 29; misgovernment, 30.
Constancy of attendance, 227.
Corporal punishment, 66.
Corrupt associations, 242, 243, 244; literature, 245.
Dangers, special, 242.
Dictionary, English unabridged, in every school, 168.
Discipline implies much more than government, 19.
Dishonest, 81.
Disobedience must never be rewarded, 50.
Disposition of teachers cheerful and hopeful, 175.
Doing right not natural to children, 55. -
Duty, parental, to bring every child under authority, 21;
begin early to enforce obedience, 22; secure prompt
submission to each separate command, 23.
284 
INDEX.
Education: as defined, is for all, 274; not to fit for any
special trade or profession, 275, 276.
Efficiency, parental, 44.
Emiuilation, 79.
Energy of charae.ter necessary in the teacher, 184.
Family planted by God's own hand, 10; is a school, 15.
Family government both an art and a science, 27; only
one mode, Dr. Edwards, 69.
Femiale teachers, 194.
Fear of punishiment as a motive to obedience, 39.
Fickle method of spoiling children, 31.
Fidelity of pupils: parents should encourage it, 229.
Flattery of children not recommended, 57.
Flogging method of spoiling children, 37.
Fun and frolic essential to childhood, 59.
Gentle measures: early and wisely employed, supersede
physical force, 65; importance of, cannot be over-esti   mated, 68.
Golden rules in family discipline, 36, 37.
Good manners, 86; importance of, 87; how to be taught,
88, 89; illustration, 90.
Graded schools, 149; advantages of, 151, 152, 153, 154, 155,
156.
Happy such parents and such children, 25.
Harmless indulgence, 75.
Home of childhood, 9, 10.
Home geography, 127; how to teach, 128.
Home instruction made practical, 131.
Home lessons made agreeable, 135.
285 
INDEX.
Home life should be free and active, 136.
Home school necessary, 131.
Home school of selfishness, 76.
Home training of vast importance to the race, 11, 116.
Holy Bible only source of religious truth,, 111.
Impulsive method of spoiling children, 33.
Inconvenience, privation, or pain, should attend every
act of transgression, 50.
Infancy, helpless, must be protected and instructed, 16;
its mind a clean canvas to be inscribed with charac   ters of good or evil, 17.
Infidelity an element of decay, 106.
Influences of society of three kinds, 236, 237, 238, 239, 240.
Indulgence consistent with authority, 48; without control
ruinous, 49.
Industry, 84.
Insubordination of the age, 27; more the fault of parents
than children, 45.
Instinctive, filial obedience is not, 44.
Integrity, 81.
Intellectual culture, 115; at home not so formal and strict
as at school, 135.
Justice, right, and duty, the child knows nothing of with   out instruction, 61.
Kindness a powerful disciplinary agency: should always
accompany reproof, 53; in looks and words has magic
power, 119.
Knowlege: of primary branches, 187; it is not education,
260, 261, 262, 263; neither physical nor mental, 265;
nor moral, 267.
286 
INDEX.
Lessons, first practical, illustrations of, 119.
Library, public, 169.
Love of children in teachers, 178; of their work, 180.
Manners and morals, 87.
Manliness of teachers, 192.
Mechanical accomplishments not education, 258.
Mind not a receptacle, but an activity, 97.
Aliscellaneous suggestions, 257.
Mismanagement, parental, 27, 72, 73.
1iLxed schools, 152.
Money question, 99.
Moral suasion, when proper, 40.
3Mother, the central light, the honored queen, the mould   ing power, in every family, 9.
Mushroom growth, 266.
Nature, phenomena of, 134; method of, 142.
Normal training for teachers, 187.
Obedience must be taught the child: is wholly the work
of education, 45, 46; must be enforced, 67.
Objects, not books, most needed in childhood, 117; world
of, 139.
Observing faculty first of all to be disciplined, 116; how,
130, 131, 133.
Opportunity of parents to begin the work of education,
118.
Parents: ordained guardians and rulers of children, 12, 13;
for what train them, 14; are their teachers, 15; should
not provoke, 70; relations to school-teachers, 215, 216,
287 
INDEX.
217; sometimes interfere with, 221; should sustain,
222; too often listen to complaints, 223; specific duties
in relation to the school, 227.
Paying children for being good a bounty on impudence
and insubordination, 42.
Permanency of teachers, 198.
Persuasive method of spoiling children, 39.
Political economy: how taught to children, 99; the better
way, 102.
Poverty sometimes better than wealth for a family of
children, 94, 95.
Promptness and firmness in correcting faults, 52.
Practical life, 98; question, 133, 250.
Practical education, 258-281.
Profession, choice of, 277, 278.
Public schools and a free State, 201.
Punctuality of attendance, 227.
Punishment, merited, must be certain to follow every act
of transgression, 50; should be the natural conse   quence of crime, 51; should be adapted to the offence,
prompt, deliberate, and thorough, 71.
Qualifications of teachers, necessary, 170.
Question, the practical, 250, 251, 252, 253, 254, 255, 256.
Reasons for a command: when to be given, 47; when not
to be given, 48.
Reason and judgment: not early developed, 60; unrelia   ble in children, and must be under parental control,
61.
Recapitulation, 258.
Recitation-room, how to be furnished, 161.
288 
INDEX.
Religious training, 105; the first duty of parents, 107.
Responsibility, parental, 12; great and fearful, cannot be
evaded, 18; does not cease with childhood, 140.
Sabbath, how to be kept by children, 113, 114.
School: the expansion of the family, 138; a public necessi
ty, 139.
Schoolhouses: sites, 157; lighting and heating, 162; appa    ratus for, 167.
Scolding method of spoiling children, 34.
Self-culture, 96.
Self-reliance, 92; how taught, 93; both the means and
condition of success, 97.
Selfishness, 73, 79, 81.
"Spare the rod, and spoil the child," 37.
Spoiling children, common methods, 31.
Sympathy: a powerful aid to obedience, 53; to encourage
application, 118; parents with teachers, 225.
System of organization, district, town, 144, 145, 146, 147,
148, 149, 150.
Teachers: in place of parents, 138; should be competent,
169; allowed to manage their own schools, 220.
Theories of education, false, 258, 259, 260.
Thermometer in the schoolroom, 168.
Thinkers and doers, 269, 270, 271, 272, 273.
Thirst for knowledge inherent in childhood, 117.
Threatening method of spoiling children, 37.
Truth, truthfulness: what is it to the child? 62, 63.
Vanity, 77.
Ventilation of schoolhouses, 163, 164, 165, 166.
25
289 
INDEX.
Views of life, perverted, false views of truth, 247, 248,
249.
Vigor, physical, necessary for a teacher, 172.
Virtue, public, the great lesson of American citizenship:
the Bible its source, 204.
Visits, parents to their schools, 231; benefits of, 232, 233.
WVell-balanced mind, 185.
ANelfare, personal, of our children, 108.
Word-system, 143.
Woman: the ordained teacher of the race, 195; importance
of her education, 197.
290