K -




A MEMAOIR
or
ADELAIDE LEAPER NEWTON,
lY T71 E 
REV. JOIN BAILLIE,
MINISTER OF TIIE FREE CHUMOIl OF SCOTLAND, LONDON;
AUTHOR OF "N mOIRs OF IIEWITSON," ETO.
"He is the happy man whose life e'n now
Shows somewhat of that happier life to come;
Content, indeed, to sojourn while he must
Below thle skies, but having tihere his home." —CowrPm
NEW YORK:
ROBERT CARTER & BROTHERS,
No. 530 BROADWAY.
1858.




"We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of Time:
Feotprints which perhaps another,
Sailing o'er life's solemni main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again."
LONGFELLO'W.
I1BREOTYPED BY                                 PRINTED BY
THOMAS B. SMITH,                         E. O. J E NINS
82 & 84 Beekman Street.                       24 Frankfort St.




PREFATORY NOTE.
THE Authoress of the " Song of Solomon compared
with other Parts of Scripture" scarcely needs to be
introduced to the Christian public. But many will
be interested to trace, in her personal life, a singularly vivid pattern of the heavenly walk there so
touchingly portrayed.  It is in compliance with a
widely expressed desire to have that mind and heart
embalmed that the present Memoir appears.
The poet Southey once wrote to James Montgomery:-"I am one who shrinks in like a snail,
when I find no sympathy; but, when I do, I open
myself like a flower to the morning sun."  Such was
Adelaide Newton. Not many knew her thoroughly;
but there were two or three select hearts to which she
"opened herself."  To the letters thus called forth
this Memorial mainly owes whatever of the life-like
it may possess.
A critic lately said of a Memoir now issuing from




iv            PREFATORY NOTE.
the press:-" We wanted a marble bust, with the
features delicately chiselled and the features preserved-and we are threatened with a colossus inbronze,"  It would have been easy, in the present
instance, out of the vast mass of letters and papers,
to cast a colossus; but the Author has aimed rather
at the marble bust.
The writer is sensible how imperfectly he may
have caught the delicate lineaments of her inner life.
But he is not without the hope that He who made
her what she was, will graciously use this "living
epistle" to  solace some wearied pilgrims and to
quicken the steps of some loiterers by the way.
LoNDoN, December, 1855.




POSTSCRIPT.
AFTER these pages had passed through the press,
the Author received from the Rev. Canon STOWELL,
of Manchester, a communication respecting the subject of this Memoir, in which he writes thus:
" Seldom or never has it been my happiness to see the
mighty power of grace so marvellously manifested as in her.
She seemed to dwell in the vestibule of heaven-to live on
the steps of the throne of grace. Th'e vigour of her understanding, the acuteness of her judgment, the force of her
reasoning, the originality of her ideas, and the beauty of her
style, astonished me. You could not converse with her
without being charmed with the frieshness, the vividness,
the activity, the refinement of her mind.  The spring of
all was love to her Saviour, intense desire to glorify His
name. This strung up all her energies; this animated all
her pursuits. Grace changed the whole tone of her character. From the flexible, tasteful, buoyant girl, she rose
into the earnest, elevated, reflective woman; yet all was
artless and easy, clothed with humility, and adorned with
simplicity.
" The one grand instrument of the work was the Word
of God. She lived on and in the Bible. It savoured every
sentiment and toned every thought of her soul. She caught




Vi                POSTSCRIPT.
the faintest whisper, and analysed the minutest expressions,
of'the lively oracles.' The Scriptures were wrought into
the very texture of her inner life: she fed upon them in her
heart. Hence the newness, the unction, the savouriness of
her writings. Like the silk-worm, which spins her exquisite
thread from her own vitals, fed by the mulberry leaves-so
she, from the experience of her own spirit, nourished by the
leaves of the Tree of Life, wrought out her lovely tissues of
heavenly wisdom.  Flesh and blood had not taught her,
but the Spirit of her Father in heaven.
" In all she wrote, and said, and did, to glorify Christ was
her single aim. This desire was as a fire in her bones. Her
zeal was ever burning. Nor was the light of her joy less remarkable.  Whilst most humble, she was most assured.
Doubt seemed never allowed to overshadow her soul, anxiety to disquiet it. When you entered her chamber, you felt
that she was enveloped in an atmosphere of heavenliness
and peace. When she mingled with the family-circle, she
seemed like the denizen of a higher world come down on
some errand of love.
"Assuredly, grace has seldom  shone brighter in any
vessel of clay. And for the honour of the Saviour and the
consolation of His Church, the memorial of what was done
in her, for her, and by her, ought not to be lost.
" MANCHESTER, Dec. 4, 1855."




CONTENTS.
CHAPTER L
PAGE
The key-note —Ancient fable-The earthen pitcher-Bacon-Birthplace-Early years -Natural attractions-Henry Martyn-" A
religious  man"-The bede-roll-The attic-Conflict —" Two
masters"-The "three hundred and sixty-five religions"-Leila
Ada-The " new  expedient"'-The bosom  friends-CowperThe felon —The pardon-The turning-point-" Seeing JESUS"Brainerd-Religiousness and godliness-" Annihilation of Religious self" —Repose........................................ 15
CHAPTER II.
Henry Martyn —" A resignation of the heart"-" Whose am I?"The alternative-The test-The Geranium-" A living sacrifice"
-Self-surrender-The "better part"-The harvest-Worldly
society-The line-Tersteegen-Self-denial-The new affection
— " Degrees  of worldliness" —Half-reconciled-BlackheathWinning cheerfulness-Ireland-A duty-" Kept from the evil"
"Jesus in company"-" Conscience in secret.................. 24
CHAPTER III.
Lord Bacon-" Another himself"-New friendships-Instinct and
grace-The "truant fdower" —Heart never poor-Family-gathering-The Sunday-school-The district-" Win souls"-" Old
Betty"-The prayer at the door-The sickle-The "blessed
hope"-Schiller..........................................    88




V1iii                C  NT'ENI  S.
CHAP T ER IV.
PAGE
The preparation-Labours-IHealth broken down-V-inet-Chastisements, sacrifices-Chain of sin-Cecil-" Do something"Tersteegen-"Bringing up," and" lBringing down"-The Invalid
at the window-" Uncrossed lives"-Irish readers-A gleam of
sunshine.4...................................... 44
CHAPTER V.
The Blumlis Alp-Torquay-Increasing illness-" Image of a suffering Saviour"-Praising the Lord in the fires-A snare of Satan
-Real experience-" God's gentle pressure"-Unworldly, not
unhuman-An incident-Lonely Sabbath-Idolatrous attachments —erbert-A visit-Patience under little trials-A training-place for heaven-" A secret"..........................52
CHAPT ER VI.
"Our business"-"Absorption in the Bible"-The two silences —
Walk with God-Letter-writing-Christ's sympathy-Thorn in
the flesh-Canticles-New  devotedness-A  congratulation"Little confessions"-" Mounting to the sky"-A silent communion-The cloud of witnesses-" Married to Christ"-Entering
into Jesus-Fruit-Present service and future glory-God breathing through us-Return to Torquay..........................68
CHAPTER VII.
"Living martyr" —Bacon-Cecil —" New tent in the wilderness""Clinging in the dark  Prayer-The consecrated chair-A conversion-" Only one life" —Second  Coming-Humility-God
satisfied-The seed-basket-Love-The blank-" Marry in the
Lord" —Improved health —Christ's Life-The vail of flesh-The
pruning-knife-Another conversion-Leaves Torquay-Sympathy with Christ's joy................................  81




CONTENTS.                             ix
CHA1PTER VIII.
PAGE
Bath —Return home-Chariots of angels-" Thought I was dying"
-Another separation-" Heart deep"-Work on Canticles"Drawing on God's forgiveness" —The one Book-The conflictThe muddy stream-God in little things-Forget-me-not-Selfexamination-Watchfulness —" Bible enough"-Ragged-schoolThe earthly house-" Balancings of the clouds"-Return to Torquay........................................................ 100
CHAPTER IX.
The "highest attainment"-Another conversion-" In the world
again"-A pervert-A Personal Christ and a personal devilCross-bearing-Discipline, its aim —Closer intimacy with God"Eccentric philanthrophy"-Home-a.ffections-The earthen vessel-The earnest —" Cannot be agitated"-A snare-The lookWorkling-The " talents"-" Dashing on the rock"-Payson —
Ridley-A  longing —Tot Christianity, but Christ-The "meeting-place"-Wilderness-lessons-A communion-" This  do"A retrospect —Final leave of Torquay......................... 117
CHAPTER X.
Diary —Not streams, bhut wells"-Letter-writing-A test-Marriage-The "fatal calm"-" Ripen for glory"-" Senses exercised"-The primitive taste —Spirit breathing through usGenial affections-Self-reproach-The Mlagnet-" A better communion"-" Treasures in heaven"-A bereavement-" An eternal present"-Meditation-Grace and sin-A gonrd withered"Expect" —Impotence   and  Omnipotence-" Playing with
fiowers"-Habakkuk-David-" Live upon God"-Self-sacrifice
-" Money, money I" —" Ourselves"-The love-token-Christmas
thoughts.....................................................  143




CH A.PTER XI.
PAGE
Work on Canticles-The press-" Slighting the Word" —Gilding
the pathway-A birthday wish-"Nearing the port"-"Vivacious self-interest"-The thorns-" Dacis"-The furnace-" Only
two men"-The Father's eye-Thankfulness-" Tides of love"Christ for us-The two things —Her church-" Mly baseness"Embittering the world-" The earthly hut"-The Evil OneReligious dissipation-" My leanness" —Christ and bodily tiredness-The three visitors-A Tuscan prison-Sealing and witnessing-Unbelief and humility-" Our own clay"-Half a Saviour" That brink"-Christ leading the praises-Outward adorningClothed with immortality-Tinging of the dark cloud-Jesus a
personal Friend-" The balm'................................ 168
C HAPTER XII.
The daily resurrection-Mental trials and bodily-Another conversion-The heliotrope —" Seeing Jesus"-" Looking on Him" —
"Handling" Him-" Nearer to Thee"-The blood-" Do all for
Christ"-Infancy of the heart-Christ in His right place-" The
Church and the Churches" —Manifold discipline-Her book blest
-Hours atthe Throne-Strength revived —Tle lesson-Hebrews
-Guidance-" One indulged siln"-Sanctification-Bright side of
the cloud-Diary-Lowering lessons-" Covered with Jesus"Battle-field................................................ 185
OCHAPTER XIII.
The family-affections-Christ and Antichrist-Her father's last illness —" Cried myself to sleep" —Diary-Frulit ripe-Insensibility
-" Fainteth not"-" But one sting"-" We shall meet again"Polishing other side of the stone-Occupy to-day-Anticipations
-Closing scene-" All joy"-" Go up" —Resurrection-Recognition-" Jesus wept"-" Come forth"-Unclothed state-At home
in the body-Absent from it-" Clothed upon"-Left behindUIppermost feeling-Adoration-" Happy in his happiness"..... 199




CO NTENTS.                          nx
CHAPTER XIV.
PACEN
School of affliction-New lessons-Isolation and desolation-Christ's
body-The "' daylight"-Diary-Breathings —" Glory"-River's
brink and river's side-Aretrospect-The waves and the haven-' A thorough pilgrim"-" Not satisfied"-The " higher occupa=
tion"-Satan's method of temptation-" Fighting in Canaan"The burnt-offering-Visits-"Each moment's need"-" Not understood"-Suffering and service-" Strengthening to carry the
cross"-The worm  at the root-Restraining grace-Study of
Hebrew-Sanctifying wealth-A "weight" —" Sensitive to sin"
-'41 Better home" —Future recognition-" Shut up to Jesus"The oak and the storm....................................... 210
CHAPTER XV.
Ritualism —" Outside  things"-" Visiting  the people" —HighChurchism —" My notions of the Church"-Only true value of life
-Henry Martyn, at Calcutta and at Dinapore-Congenial home
-The eternal day —Brainerd-God, not self —" Never wearies of
me"-" No silent moments"-" Turn your bed"-Sick-roomThe reward-Luther-Atonement-The " living sacrifice"-The
fashioning of the "mystical body"-Infancy and manhood-Person of Christ-Answer to prayer, why delayed-" Within three
days"-The ravens-The " bruising" and the " darkness" —The
" sacrifice" and the "burning lamp"-The misty atmosphereThe lambs and the sheep-" Dread not"....................... 229
CHAPTER XVI.
Portrait-Bible in hand-" Absorbed in God"-Strong ConflictsMental habitude —Diary-The orange-tree-Life a business" Joy of the Lord" —The preparation-Krummacher-" The holy
dove"-" Purging the floor"-The  "two rests"-Unuttered
groanings-Prophetic study-The "conflict in the land"-The
" garment of praise"-The " waves"-" It is I " —Waiting —Evans
-Hewitson-Intercession-" Unripe fruit"-The valley-Health
stationary-The Spirit and the flesh-Secret of usefulness-Tenderness and hardness-Earnest labour......................... 24'




-Xi11                 C O   Ti r j N  r S,
CHAPTER XVII.
PAGE
"Areal stratagem"-The child and the dog-Glimpses through
the lattice-" A grasp of His hand"-Soft whispers-The shell
and the kernel-" An uncertain sound"-" Come up higher"" Tender grapes"-Watch!-The narrow way-Infidelity-Sinaitic inscriptions-The buds and the fruit-Memoirs-The un
clouded sunshine-Bodily depression-The white hyacinth" Solitariness"-A  "beloved Persis"-Matnring experiencesIntimacy with Jesus-The " wheel full of iron spikes"-The new
wine of the kingdom-Melchizedec-The Man of Sorrows-Resurrection-Ever-varying tides-" Traitor-like character"-The
blind children-" Waiting cupon God"-Bible's adaptedness-A
cure for " wretched spirits"-Ripened Christians............... 266
CHAPT ERI XVIII.
Augustine-The Bible-A glimpse into her chamber-The beeThe exotic-" Sharpness" —" Perfect through sufferings"-" A
little while"-" Brilliantly happy"-The Jew-Egypt-Sinaitic
inscrip tions-IIieroglyphics-Alph aet —Researches-" IIarbour
in sight"-God's immensity-Pern ission of evil-Prayer, " set
speaking" and "silent breathing"''-Martin Luther-Thankfuless-Watching for souls —New sorrows and new joys-Aged
Christians-Subduedness-Satanic agency-The two ends —ilpainting-Consecrated to God-Strokes upon the stones-The
"south wind" —" Beg yourselves rich"-Self-possessednessLight of affliction's fire-" All known to Thee"................. 281
CHAPTER XIX.
The shell-Its native sea-Land of Beulah-Breaks in communion
-Robert Bolton-" When shall I be dissolved?"-" Exalted""Going' to be with Him"-Pilgrim experiences-" Momentary
catches"-" A time-state" —The "perfect"-Ups and downsThe four wings-Self-sacrifice-The flame-The "house-devil"
exorcised-Soul-nakedlness-Apathy-Foretastes-Emma Maurice-" Self-crushed"-Increasing weakness-" Singing for Jesus"
— Enoch-The pilgrim-Looking back-" Exalted above measure"-Faith and Conception-Bishop'Ridley —" Heaven of commlunion'l-David's life-The Potter's field-The spiritual bodyThe Lord's appearing...............08.................. 303




CONTENTS.                         XWi
C HAPTER XX.
PAGE
Spenser-The "dark cottage" —" New light"-" Now come I to
thee"-" Pity thyself "-The  vails-Ruffled spirit-External
ease-Diary-Visits-Work on IHebrews-Energy of purpose" I owe it so much" —"What sin is"-" My face on the ground"Sympathies-Jobls three friends-Longings-" Downright staggered"-The Great-hearts-" Heaven's own bliss"-David-The
Psalms-" No other pathl"-" The provocation"-" Continued
with me"-Cowper-Contemplation-The eagle-pinion-Caleb6 God'sjoy"-Anticipated evil-" The Nazarite" —New discipline
-Christian love-" Godliness"-Sin of unbelief-" Useless grief "
— " Sonship-positionl"-God in sufferings-Renewed elasticityA glimpse into the sick-chamber-" Maturing for removal"..... 818
CHAPTER XXI.
"Heaven begun"-Payson-Celestial city in view —" Most of me
fled"-Diary-LLabours-" Mastering death" —A message-God's
pleasures —" Sinking into Christ"-Jesus prays-The bright
cloud-The unchanging Priest-" Deep waters"-" Spoken for
to God"-" Feeling the bottom"-God unchanged-Mists-:Brightened —" Verifying rmy experience by the Word" —Work on
Hebrews-Irish Missions-Christ "showing Himself "-" Simple  faith"-Prostrated-" All bright yonder"-" The grand
whole" —A farewell-" Foundation-realities" —" Remembering
Him in the night-watches" —Legh Richmond-Silent fortnight
-" Looking heaven"-" Rock-like peace"-Payson-" Praise
waiteth" —" Higher up" —A parting gift-" Never mind"-Rev.
A. Dallas-The silent tear-" I cwill get up"-Heavenly peaceDismissal-Polycarp-Living martyrdom-" Sweetest Canticle"
-The Epitaph............................................... 841
2








CHAPTER I.' I LONG SO earnestly to be growing in grace hourly —' filled with the Spirit'-burning with love to
Christ, and Christians, and sinners-to be a reflection
of HIM in the world, and working whilst it is day."
So wrote, on one occasion, the beloved disciple whose
brief but bright course we are now to sketch. That
aspiration was the key-note of her life.
It is fabled by an ancient poet, that, " when Hercules went to unbind Prometheus (a figurative personification of human nature), he sailed the length
of the great ocean in an earthen pot, or pitcher."
And Lord Bacon, applying the fable to the Christian
life, describes the saint as sailing most marvellously in
the frail bark of the flesh, through the waves of the
world, to that home where he shall be "free indeed."
It was emphatically a frail bark and a stormy ocean
which carried Adelaide Newton to her haven. And
others who are still on that ocean, " toiling in rowing,"
may be comforted mightily as they hear the articulate
voice of HIM who so often came to her, saying, " It
is I; be not afraid."
The town of Derby cannot boast of many holy
memories.  But He who noted Bethany as "the




G     MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
town of Mary and of her sister Martha," has noted
the birthplace of ADELAIDE LEAPER NEWTON.  It
was on Ist March, 1824, that an infant, who was to
leave behind her so precious a fiagrance, was ushered
into this vale of tears.
" Life," it has been said,
"Beginneth as a little path edged with the violet and primrose,
A little path of lawny grass, and soft to tiny feet."
To Adelaide Newton, life's early years were eminently
smooth and pleasant. Of a good family, and surrounded by every earthly luxury, she grew up into
girlhood, her sunny morning betokening a cloudless
day.  "This sweet spot," we find her writing to a
friend, on her return home after a short absence,
"seems like an earthly paradise."  And a singular
aptness in acquiring each accomplishment to which
she successively devoted herself, threatened, as she
rose into womanhood, to entangle her still more
firmly in the world's meshes. A  surviving sister
speaks of " her peculiarly sweet touch in playing, and
voice in singing," which " made her music unusually
attractive." Her delicate pencil, too, seemed to mark
her out for no ordinary success in drawing. Aind
graver attainments were added.  "A  natural talent
for languages" found its development in the acquisition of various of the modern tongues; and, in later
years, she added to them Greek, Hebrew, and even a
little Arabic.  She "particularly delighted also in
mathematics." And when, added to all this, was the




EARLY JOYS.                    17;dornment of a " charming manner," whose graceful
nodesty was " never for an instant spoiled by the
praises which were continually heaped upon her in
she social circle," it will be seen that seldom has the
world held out a more attractive allurement than to
tile subject of our Memoir.
"Like yourself," she writes, long afterwards to a
school-companion, describing that season of her early
joys, "my heart naturally clung very much to the
world.  Music was my great snare. I took infinite
pains to play well, and delighted secretly in the commendation I got whenever I played before any one.
Fancy now its being nearly four years since I have
touched either piano or organ.  And my singing,
which I had once even more reason to be satisfied
with, is probably for ever silenced. You cannot think
how I thank God from my heart that He would not
let me gratify the secret pride which was lurking in
it, and which was stealing nay love from HIM."
Henry Martyn tells, that, in his student-days,
when self and self-pleasing was as yet the centre of
his soul, he contrived to pronounce himself " a religious man." Adelaide Newton, also, had, for many
days, inscribed her name in the same bede-roll.
A child of parents who loved the Lord, scarcely
had she known the time when the "things of the
kingdom" were strangers to her ear.
"Pleasant as it was," writes her governess, " to
teach her in the school-room, it was still more so to
be with her at the season for spiritual instruction.
She always appeared to enjoy those opportunities
2*




18      MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
and on one occasion I remember she said,'Thank
you, I shall now  go to sleep on the Rock of
Ages.'"
And, as years wen-,. on, the "religiousness" had
grown more intense. "On one occasion," says her
sister, "in 1835, when Mr. Greville was here for a
few days, much that he said, both in the family and
to herself, deeply impressed her. And I well remember how, about that time, we were constantly reading
Doddridge's  Rise and Progress,' Fletcher's'Address,'
and James''Anxious Inquirer."' And in the following summer the "' religiousness" assumed a still deeper
hue. The family had removed for a few months to
a neighbouring village, to escape the small-pox which
had seized virulently a member of the household.
In an unfurnished attic of the house, Adelaide, and
three others, used to spend-each unknown to the
rest-many solitary hours in "devotional reading
and in prayer." And the family governess writes:
"From the beginning of 1837 to the end of 1839,
I had a daily course of private Bible-reading and
prayer with dear Adelaide at her own particular request."
But the "religiousness " did not give her rest. "I
am  the victim," we find her writing, "of the most
distressing and painful conflict. Sometimes I feel
ready to give myself up almost to despair, while at
other times I seem to enjoy religion. When I look
back upon the time when I think this conflict first
began in me (which I believe is now six or seven
years ago), I am tempted to believe that it is quite




EARLY  STRUGGLES.                19
impossible that one who has trifled so long with such
things, sinning against such light and knowledge as
I enjoy, shall ever be forgiven."  And again: "I
am  so careless, and so unwilling to pray.  Pray
earnestly for me, and write faithfully to me. It will
not be a small thing to deceive myself on so all-important a subject."
And some years afterwards, referring to this period,
she writes: "I' can perfectly enter into all your
feelings, because I have been in much the same state
of mind myself. I was not happy in the world, and
could not be, for there is nothing in it which can
satisfy an immortal creature. I had no real enjoyment in anything, because I was trying to serve two
masters. And this, I now see, cannot be: God
will have the whole heart:. His promise is, that we
shall find Him when we search for Him with all our
hearts."
And again, to the same friend: "I have often
thought of you since you once wrote me a note saying you could serve God only as a duty. If this is
still your feeling, I can assure you from my own experience, that it is only because your heart is not
given up entirely to God. You are trying, as I too
long did, to serve God and Miammon; and therefore
you find no true enjoyment either in the world or in
religion. I know exactly how you feel, having had
precisely the same conflict going on in my heart for
a long time."
"Out of about 365 religions in the world," said
a highly-educated Jew one day to his beloved child,




20      M EMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
an accomplished and lovely girl of nineteen, as she
was urging upon him the wonderful graciousness of
that Divine Saviour whom she had found in the crucified Nazarene, "I don't think your's the easiest;
people have to work so hard, and be so distressingly
earnest, and so awfully solemn; it makes me ill to
think of it." "Ah!" replied the youthful convert,'6 this religion is a very happy and a very easy one.
I have an inward peace and joy which is unspeakable. Jesus is precious; He is Heaven; He blesses
me every moment. Oh! his boundless love to rue!'
Adelaide Newton had not yet found Him who was
Leila Ada's all. "It is the constant life," says she,
"of watchfulness and self-denial required of the
Christian which fills me with despair."  Her conscience not yet sprinkled with " the blood," she was
without a leverage to move her to willing service.
Her heart, not yet attached to the Lord Jesus, was
not, and could not be, detached from a world " lying
in the wicked one."
A new expedient was now attempted.
"' I did so much wish to see you," she writes, on the
2V27th April 1839. "You know that I have at times
been very anxious about the state of my mind.
Many indeed are the convictions God has most graciously granted me; but they have been rejected and
slighted. All this winter, however, I have been very
much depressed in spirit, and at times quite miserable. When J  -  was staying with us, she slept
with me. We often talked indirectly on religious
subjects; but one night we got nearer and nearer




THE NEW  EXPEDIENT.                21
home, till it ended in my opening my whole heart
to her. This was no sooner done than I felt a burden
taken off my mind, which has been weighing me
down foi months. She gave me most precious advice. I had never spoken freely to any one before;
and you may imagine what a relief it was. 0 pray
for me! I trust God is bringing me by a way I know
not."
And again, to another: "There is something within which keeps me from enjoying perfect peace. If I
could once be sure that I am justified, then all would
be right. I wish, more and more, every day, to see
some clergyman who would tell me what he thought
of me. Still, I can hardly think that God would
have brought me so far to put me to shame."
But a brighter hope was now to dawn. " If," says
Cowper, of the condemned felon, who, "in darkness
and heart-chilling fears," hears the warder at his celldoor, about to lead him forth to death,
"If then, just then, all thoughts of mercy lost,
When hope, long lingering, at last yields the ghost,
The sound of pardon pierce his startled ear,
He drops at once his fetters and his fear;
And transport glows in all he looks and speaks,
And the first thankful tears bedew his cheeks."
And the poet adds:
" Joy, far superior joy, which much outweighs
The comfort of a few poor added days,
Invades, possesses, and o'erwhelms the soul
Of him whom hope has, with a touch, made whole.




22      MEMiOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.'Tis heaven, all heaven, descending on the wings
Of the glad legions of the King of kings.'Tis more-'tis God diffused through every part;'Tis God Himself triumphant in his heart."
The bard of Olney himself knew little of this joy;
but Adelaide Newton was now to realize it as her
own.
One morning, at Leylands, at family worship, a
visitor* read the third chapter of Colossians. Selecting the first verse-" If ye, then, be risen with
Christ," he spoke emphatically of the " If," —urging
the necessity of make sure of this starting point,
setting forth Christ and His resurrection-life as the
sinner's immediate privilege, and closing with an
appeal on the duty of instant decision for Christ.
The message went straight to Adelaide's heart.
"The words," says her sister, "were used effectually by the Holy Spirit to decide her to be the
Lord's."
When Jesus was on earth, the needy "drew near
to Him," and found in Him immediate life. Adelaide
Newton "drew near " to the same Saviour, and found
the same immediate life. Before, she had gone with
her burden to the creature; but the creature could
not solace. Now she went direct to Jesus Himself,
and she was s" accepted in the Beloved." " This," we
find her writing, "is the only way to life and salvation-' Come, and see Jesus.' This is the way to
settle all objections. We may have a thousand diffi* The Rev. Dr. H. M'Neile.




THE  CRISIS.                  23
culties in our minds; but, by coming to Christ, to
see Him for ourselves, they all vanish away."
Brainerd, in his Diary, contrasting his religiousness with his godliness, writes of the former thus:
"The more  I did  in  duty, the  more  hard  I
thought it would be for God to cast me off. But
now  I see that my duties laid not the least obligation upon God to bestow His grace upon me. I
see evidently that the whole was nothing but selfworship."
And of the latter he writes: "It was the apprehension of a divine glory. God brought me to a
hearty disposition to exalt Him, and to set Him upon
the throne.  I was sweetly composed.  I felt myself
in a new world. I wondered that all the world did
not see and comply with this way of salvation, entirely by the righteousness of Christ."
Adelaide Newton was carried through a like experience.  The "annihilation of her religious self"
she had found " a bitter work."  That work, though
in some sense a life-long discipline, was now so far
done, that, for the first time, she could say, " Not I,
but Christ."  And, like Brainerd, she felt an indescribable repose.  " It is impossible," she writes, " to describe what a sight of Christ is. One man cannot
tell another.  Every one must see for himself.  It is
perfectly irresistible.  And there is something transforming in the very act of beholding Jesus. It is the
soul's highest joy."




CHAPTER II.
ONE day Henry Martyn wrote in his Diary: "'My
soul approves thoroughly the life of God; and my
one only desire is, to be entirely devoted to Him.  I
have resigned, in profession, the riches, the honours,
and the comforts of this world; and I think, also, it
is a resignation of the heart."
With Adelaide Newton, also, it was " a resignation
of the heart."  "' Whose am I?'" she writes, alluding to Paul's words that night in the ship: "Why
is it that so few, so very few, can at once answer, I I
am -thy servant, 0 Lord?' There is no sin more
hateful to Christ than lukewarmness. And yet how
many-thousands are victims of it in the present day!
What numbers are spoken of as'well-inclined,' or'well-disposed,' young persons, liking to be thought
well of by the Lord's people, and yet shrinking from
that' coming out' from the world and being'separate,' which alone could enable them conscientiously
to affirm, as in the sight of God,'I am TrINE.'"
" Every one living," she proceeds, " must be Satan's
slave or God's child. What an alternative i Surely
those who continlle in this uncertainty have never
selriouslv asked thlemselves whose they are, if they are




DEC IS ION.                 25
not Christ's? or reflected that, they can not be standing still in this uncertainty, but that every thought,
word, and action, of every moment of their lives, is
confirming them in their service of one of these two
masters, and is ever giving fresh and still stronger
evidence whose they are!"
And she adds: " How intensely important, therefore, the question becomes,'Whose am I?' There
can be no true peace till it is settled.'Being justified by faith, we have peace with God' (Rom. v. 1);
but not till then. And this is the secret why there
are so few-so very, very few-happy, rejoicing
Christians. It is not that the religion of Christ is a
gloomy thing, but it is that so few know the peace it
gives under a sense of forgiven sin. How can they
be happy, who are bearing about on their consciences
the burden of a life of unpardoned guilt 2'
From her own conscience that burden was now
gone. Like the pilgrim's, it had fallen from her at
the foot of the cross. "1 How did I know," she writes,
some time afterwards, in reference to this period,
"that my sins were all washed away? Because I
was trusting simply to the FINISHED work of Christ,
and was not waiting until I had done any thing to
evidence it.  What we do, as Christians, proves
whose we are in the eyes of the world (Matt. vii.
16-20); but the grand question with us is, whose
we are in the sight of God; and that depends entirely
on our acceptance of the finished work of Christ.
Union with Christ makes us Christians; and that
should be the test whose we are."
3




26      MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEW VON.
Relieved from her burden, and bearing in her
hand " the roll," she now with a light heart ascended
the hill Difficulty.  "There is blessedness unutterable," she writes, in true fixedness of heart upon
God. It enables a soul to'sing and give praise'
(Ps. lvii. 7), even amidst dangers and calamities and
reproaches."
In casting in her lot with Christ, she had not
omitted to count the cost. " One day, Lady L-:
S~      was asking a mutual friend about us," we find
her writing some time previous; " and she heard that
we were not decided enough to be happy.  Her
simple reply was,'Oh, tell them from me not to be
half-and-half.' You cannot think how those words
haunted me ever afterwards, and how often they
have helped me to be out-and-out a Christian in my
conduct."
The " soul that loveth," has been compared to the
"Pale geranium, pent within the cottage-window."
"Behold," says the poet,
6How yearningly it stretcheth to the light its leaves 
How straineth upward to the sun, coveting its sweet
influences I
How real a living sacrifice to the god of all its worship i"
Such was Adelaide Newt(ln. Fixing her heart on
her beloved Lord, she was transformed into " a living
sacrifice."  "We read," she writes, "of'many men
of Benjamin and Judah,' who came to join themselves to David. And how did they proclaim their




THE  CHRISTIAN  IN  THE  WORLD.  27
true-heartedness?  By their entire self-surrender:'Thine we are, David; and on thy side, thou son of
Jesse!'"
Surrounded by not a little to attract the carnal
eye, she "chose the better part," and chose it once
for all.  "What I long for most," she writes, " is an
habitual and realizing sense of the presence of God
at all times, and the constant recollection that His eye
is upon me, and that nothing, however trivial I may
think it, can escape His observation. May it be our
experience daily more and more, so that we may
grow in conformity to the image of Christ and in
meetness for our heavenly inheritance!"
Like the " man in the picture," she had not only
"the world behind her back," but the "crown of
glory hanging over her head."  "Every fresh development," she writes, "of the fruits of the Spirit in
our hearts is fresh treasure for'the Lord of the harvest.' Oh! did we but remelmber this, in what a
different light would all the events of time appear to
us!  In every friendship we form, in every visit we
pay, in every letter we write, we are either sowing to
the flesh-of the flesh to reap corruption, or sowing
to the Spirit-of the Spirit to reap life everlasting!
How this ought to quicken us to use our moments in
sowing seed for our eternal harvest!"
In an age like the present, when " the form of
godliness " is so rife, and its " power " so very rare,
it is not wonderful that a sensitive heart like hers
should early have been called to solve various prob.
lems in the daily life.




28      MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWO}N.
One of these problems was "the course to be pursued in regard to worldly society."  WNriting to a
friend who had solicited her judgment, she says:" I scarcely think it possible to draw the line too
strongly between light and darkness. We cannot
be real Christians only in private.  It is written,'By their fruits ye shall know them;' and if we are
really following God devotedly, it will be evident to
all around us.  Let me, therefore, entreat you at
once to resolve to make up your mind to devote
yourself entirely, soul and body, to HIim. I know
you never can be really happy till you do."
Tersteegen speaks of "love exercising self-denial
without tasting its bitterness, and almost without ever
thinking of it."  One of Adelaide's sisters, who had
been absent from home, writes: "'I shall never forget the impression she made on me by the intense
feeling she put into Gal. vi. 14, which was the first
text she quoted as soon as we were alone together;
and from that time I saw that the world was crucified to her in a way I had never seen it before."
And she herself writes: "The nearer we live to
Jesus, and the closer our walk is with Him, the less
inclination we have for pursuits and pleasures in
which HE is not the object."
Many Christians seem only half-reconciled, and
therefore only half-separated unto God. Dear Adelaide felt at home in her Father's house; and that
made her feel a " stranger " in a world which knows
not the Father.  " Oh! for a heart," some one has
said,




WINNING  CHEERFULNESS.               29
" Magnanimous to know
Thy worth, poor world, and let thee go I"
Such a heart Adelaide had gotten at Golgotha, and
it cost her scarcely a pang to "let go" whatever had
been most dear. "I can not help thinking," she
writes to a schoolfellow, "'that, if you are much
occupied with thoughts of heaven, of holiness, of the
meek and lowly Jesus, and how He lived and walked
on earth, you will feel a secret shrinking from wordly
society, which will make balls, &c., &c., very painful
to you. God has left no positive commands upon
things of this sort; for He knows that where the
heart is given to Him, the life will assuredly be given
too. And the motive of Gospel-obedience is, not so
much duty, as love. The child that loves its parents
devotedly, or its friends, does what will please them
at any cost."
It was not in words only that she thus commended
Christ. "Her love to Jesus," says one in whose
house she resided at Blackheath during her closing
years of school, "was her animating principle, and
the very joy of her heart. To lead her young companions to IIIM was her grand aim, Her winning
cheerfulness made the young see how happy Jesus
could make them. Every girl loved her, some most
devotedly,"
In the autumn of 1842 she visited Ireland. "We
have indeed," she says, writing to one of that youthful band, "met with the truest Irish and Christian
hospitality.  We dined one day with Mr. Daly, at
Powerscourt.  Almost all the Irish clergy, I find
3*




30      MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
believe in the Personal Reign; and it seems to have
a very practical influence on their whole life and conversation. We met there Mr. R. I really think
I have seldom  seen a more heavenly-minded man.
He does (just what I always long to feel myself) in
a most habitual manner seem to feel, that Jesus is
always present. Oh! to realize this continually is
certainly to have some foretaste of heaven."
Wherever she went, she left behind her a savour
of Christ. " I never can forget," writes one who met
her during that Irish tour, " dearest Adelaide's deeply
interesting visit to Glanmore. Though it is thirteen
years since, I can well remember how much we were
both struck by her deep spirituality, the very enlarged range of her intellectual powers, the chastened
tone of her mind, and the exquisite modesty and
simplicity of her manners and character. We were
not less delighted with the warmth of'her zeal for
the enlightenment of the poor Irish people."
Scarcely a week passed that some school-companion
or other friend was not soliciting her counsel and
sympathy in the struggles of the Christian life.
Writing to one, she says: "I think I Cor. vii. 20-24
plainly shows us, that in whatever position or calling
of life we are placed, there it is our duty to abide.
A child, for instance, must be in subjection to her
parents; and if they would have her do what she
dislikes or disapproves, it is generally, I should think,
her plain duty to take up the cross and obey them,
for God well knows her motive, and by no means




SELF-DENIAL.                31
judges her of willing conformity to the world in
such acts."
And again:-" If you feel obliged to join your
family or friends in scenes which give you no plea~
sure, and if you let them see that you join them from
a sense of duty, and not from inclination, I think you
will reap the gain of self-denial. But, after all, don't
you think that our grand concern is, to aim at close
walking with God,'%aving Him to order our steps
for us, and trusting Him so to order our way as best
to enable us to walk closely with Him? Remember
that Jesus is each day saying to his Father for you,'I pray, not that she should be taken out of the
world, but that she should be kept from the evil.'
May I send you these words to use as your constant
plea at the throne of grace whenever you are in difficulty how to act a"
And to another ftiend: "In one sense, all conformity to the world is forbidden. We could not
have stronger language than St. Paul's:'Come out,
and be separate, and touch not the unclean thing.'
But then he has balanced that extreme by telling us,
on the other hand, that, if we kept no company with
ungodly people, we'must needs go out of the world.'
And so far from this being intended, we are expressly
commanded to be "blameless and harmless, the sons
of God without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and
perverse nation, among whom  ye shine as lights in
the world.' Again, we find Jesus, when on earth,
accepting an invitation to a wedding-feast (John ii.);
and He dined with a Pharisee (Luke vii.), who most




32     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
certainly was a man of the world. And don't you
think He is as much our example in these things as
in visiting the poor, and in relieving the sick and
needy?"
And yet again: "I think the love of the worlds
may show itself very differently in different persons,
and that no one can altogether judge for another,
whether they are indulging it in what they do, or not.
But I believe conscience tells each child of God in
secret. I dare not decidedly judge for you, even in
my own mind, how far you may rightly go into the
world; but I feel sure that if you honestly seek direction from God, you will certainly get it. My desire
for you is, that you may walk as Jesus walked. I
don't think we can aim too high. Let your standard
be, to be like HIM."
"I hope," she adds, "you will not think me severe
upon you in anything I have said; for you cannot
think how I feel for you. My natural heart was
so fond of the same wordliness, though in a different
way. I struggled for months-or, I may say, years
-between God and the world; but never did I enjoy peace or happiness the whole time. No one
knew what I enduted. May you be spared the bitter
conflict, and choose the better part at once and unreservedly!"
"Dead to the world, we dream no more
Of earthly pleasures now;
Our deep, divine, unfailing spring
Of grace and glory-Thou 1"




CHAPTER III.
LORD BACON, in one of his essays, quotes a proverb of the ancients-"A friend is another himself."
" No receipt," he adds, " openeth the heart but a true
friend to whom  you may impart griefs, joys, fears,
hopes, suspicions, counsels, and whatsoever lieth upon
the heart to oppress it."
Dear Adelaide had left behind her not a few prized
companionships; but others were substituted. " Kindred," some one has said, "is the riches of the heart."
That kindred she now possessed. " Oh! what a life,"
she writes, "the life of a Christian is! I feel so wrapt
up in thought this morning, that I really cannot
write. How delightful is the feeling that the same
High Priest above understands your feelings and
mine! It gives a feeling of union which nothing
else can.' One in Christ!' —if we are thus made
members of one body, we shall never be really separated."
And to another: "I cannot tell you how thankfully I look back upon the privilege of getting to
know you as much as I did at Sandgate. I really
believe my chief pleasure in this world consists in
having and being with Ohristian friends; and none
but Christians know how real and lasting such friendship is."




34      MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON'.
The instinct which loves because of natural attractions, and the grace which loves in spite of natural
defects, and simply because of what is Christ-like, are
very different affections.
"There is a fragrant blossom, that maketh glad the garden
of the heart;
Its root lieth deep; it is delicate, yet lasting, as the lilac
crocus of autum:
Loneliness and thought are the dews that water it morn
and even.
I saw it budding in beauty; I felt the magic of its
smile;
The violet rejoiced beneath it, the rose stooped down and
kissed it;
And I thought some cherub had planted there a truant
flower from Eden,
As a bird bringeth foreign seeds, that they may flourish
in a kindly soil."
That "truant flower" is Christian fellowship-the
"communion of the saints."  And not often has it
found a more "kindly soil" than in the heart of
Adelaide Newton.  "I am  thinking so much," she
writes, "of you and dearest -          to-night.  I can
fancy you both looking at that splendid star which
I too see again to-night for the first time for ages.
How long it may be before we all three look at it together again! Perhaps never! Be it so; may we
then only meet to behold together, not a star, but the
glorious, uneiluded Sun of Righteousness! We
could not wish for anything so enrapturing in this
world."  And again: "I constantly think of ve,




THE FAMILY-GATHERING.                35
How wonderfully we are all separated just now!
How sweet the thought"'Our bodies may far off remove,
We still are one in heart I"'
The saint is not an anchorite, and he never will be.
The world has not a friendship which shall survive
earth's brief hour; but the saint is linked to his
heavenly kindred by an affection which cannot die.
His heart can never grow poor.  "What a strange
and mysterious thing," she says, "our pilgrim-life
here is! designed just for a special purpose, and often
rendered so sweet by fellow-pilgrims who travel with
us a part of the way! but, different work and different paths being assigned to each, we are emphatically
taught that our family-gathering cannot be fully
realized till those numberless paths and different
tracks shall meet in one common centre-the Father's house above. Oh! that our love may indeed
grow exceedingly both towards God and towards one
another!"
And, writing to one of her sisters, she says:
"How I wish, my dearest N., I thanked God as
I ought for all He makes you to me! I love so
deeply, that really, when my love is peculiarly called
forth, I long to live both to enjoy others' love to me
and to love them in return. How intensely difficult
to believe that love is to be so increased and perfected in heaven!"  And she adds: "As love is
that which flows from God, I don't think it is possible to prize it too highly from others, or to love too




3 6     MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTOIN.
much ourselves. It is only the sin that defiles our
love, which mars it. It is trying to be so near, and
not to meet. But our meeting-place is in Christ and
in His Word: we need separation to teach us this
effectually, I believe."
If she was Christ-like in her love to the saints, she
was not less Christ-like in her compassion for perishing sinners. "In 1843," says one who knew her well,
"she became a teacher in the Sunday-school-an
employment in which she always took the deepest
interest. The impression produced on the children's
minds was not easily forgotten, some of them  even
proving their grateful affection by visiting her in her
last illness."
And another field of labour was a District in the
parish of All-Saints'.  Her visits were singularly
blessed.  The writer, a few months ago, met an aged
women who owed to these visits her conversion. As
she spoke of " dear Miss Newton," with tears in her
eyes, a gleam of heavenly joy lighted up her wrinkled features. " Oh! I was so dark," she said, " when
that dear lady came to see me; but she told me of
Jesus and His love, and it drew my dead heart to
Him. Oh! had she not come to me, I would just
have lived on in sin."
Her aim in all her visits was, not to " do a duty,"
but to "win souls."   One of her sisters writes:
"Early in the spring of 1844, Adelaide asked me one
day to share part of her district, and lend books and
tracts at one end of the street.  Noticing how long
she blad waited at the different doors before going




DIARY.                   37
in, I asked her, as we were walking home,'Do you
always wait when you knock at a door till they open
it a''No,' was her reply,'but I always like to wait
a moment, before I knock, to ask for the Holy
Spirit to be with my mouth and teach me what to say
in each house.' I have often thought of it since," her
sister adds, "and have attributed to it her wonderful
success among the poor whom she visited."
And what passed within, we may gather from a
few sentences occurring in a " private" Diary, marked
"Visits to the Poor —  843-6."
" 1843. July 14.-Saw R. F.: she appeared at
the point of death. I never can forget the overwhelming feeling of being asked to speak to a soul
on the brink of eternity; perhaps the last words she
heard might be mine. I urged her to believe in
Christ, who was able and willing to save her. I then
prayed with her very shortly, and as simply as I
could. I did not improve that opportunity as I might.
May God forgive me for it!"
"July 19. —Saw  M. S., who gets worse in body,
but I hope grows in grace. She told me that Mrs.
W. began to pray the day before she died, but, finding she could not, she said she found swearing easier;
and, returning to her former ways, she died in that
awful condition. Oh! that it might be a saving
warning to some!"
" 1844. April 3.-Saw Mrs. L., and read her part
of 2 Cor. v., and 1 Cor. xv.  She could scarcely
speak, but charged me to remember M. She said,'If Jesus died for sinn ~rs, I'm sure he died for me;'
4




38      MEMOIR O F A. L. NEWTON.
and several times she repeated that she was'soon
going home,' and could now resign everything to
God."
"April 9. —Heard, from old Betty Fox, of the
dying Infidel, Samuel Goode. In speaking of his
determination not to have anything to do with a
Saviour, she added,' But I hope to trouble Him, for
I hope to be with Him for ever."
"May 1.-Saw Mrs. H., and read her John iii.;
but I fear she depends on supposed innocency of
life for acceptance with God.  May God open her
eyes to see her danger! Oh! that she may yet be
brought into the fold of Christ, and be made His for
ever i"
"1845. April 9.-Went to see E. E.; but her
spirit had taken its flight that morning. She knew
she was dying, and on the Tuesday desired her
mother to give'her best love to Miss N., for she
should never see me again;' and in the evening she
asked her to take her a candle, and hold it by her
while she read my hymn on' The Fulness of Jesus.'
She also spoke very seriously to her sister S., though
the room  was full.  In the afternoon, while her
mother was sitting alone with her, she said,'Oh!
mother, can't you hear it? It is so beautiful!' After
listening for some minutes, she said, with her arms
stretched out,'I'm sure Jesus sent those blessed
angels to comfort me.' She also said, when asked if
she felt afraid to die,'No, I'm not afraid; the sting
of death is quite taken away.' She was sensible to
the last, and died peacefully."




DIARY.                   39
"1846. January 23.-Spoke to B. of neglecting
salvation till we are sick and dying; he was quite
affected to tears, and wept some time. He seemed
quite cheered when I spoke to him of the precious
blood of Jesus."
"February 23.-Spoke faithfully to Mrs. D. about
her husband, and urged her, instead of trying to
talk to him, to talk to God about him."
"March 10.-Saw M. W., who had been takeni ill
on Wednesday. She said she had often wondered
if her religion would support her in illness and death;
and it did. The world had never been much to her.
She was always afraid of having too much, lest it
should draw off her affections from God; but now it
seemed utterly nothing. She said she felt as if standing on the outside of it. She had perhaps led as
upright a life outwardly as was possible, exercising
always a conscience void of offence; but if any one
should suggest that as a ground of acceptance, she
spurned the thought. She would consider everything in that light as'lighter than a feather to waft
her across the ocean.' "
It was thus that dear Adelaide went about, like
the Master, from day to day, "the common people
hearing her gladly." " I would never," we find her
writing, in her diary, at the beginning of 1846, "enter
a house without having first asked His blessingnever go to the district without prayer, and prayer
especially for a blessing on the books lent." And
this other entry: "The time is short; work while it
is day; the Lord is at hand: occupy till I come."




40     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
Her sickle preserved its fine edge; and that made
her so successful a reaper in His fields.
And the sickles of other reapers she sought to
sharpen.  "' Who hath believed our report'"' she
writes, in a pointed appeal, widely circulated in
various parts of England, "is the sad inquiry of the
minister, the teacher, and every one who labours to
win souls to Christ. Let us, therefore, put the promise of our God to the proof, and see if He will not
open the windows of heaven, and pour us out a blessing that there shall not be room enough to receive
it. True, we need self-denial and resolute effort, to
get even time for prayer; and we must endure some
conflict with Satan and self, ere we are enabled to
continue in prayer. But if one hour each day could
be devoted by each praying soul in this parish to
intercessory prayer on its behalf, what immense results might be expected! Surely we might be more
thoroughly in earnest. Surely we might plead more
with God, when infatuated men are deaf. Does not
the Lord wait to be gracious, until He hears our cry
(Isa. xxx. 19)?' Ye people, pour out your heart before Him.'"
In her visitations, not less than in her own hidden
life, the "blessed hope " grew daily more precious.
"I have always found it," she writes in her diary,
"produce a deeper impression upon the poor than
any other subject."  And elsewhere she says: "It
opens the Scriptures to us in an entirely new light.
I find, too, that all who receive this view are agreed
that it makes them feel less concern and love for the




THE BLESSED  IIOPE.               41
world than anything we can imagine. It gives one
this feeling,'If Christ is coming so soon, what matters it what men think of us, if only we are safe in
Christ? and what is there in the world worth caring
for, since we shall so soon have done with it?' I
know that we may say the same thing with respect
to the shortness and uncertainty of life; but we do
not realize it in the same way."
The "hope" wonderfully quickened her own steps
heavenward.  "It should ever be the Christian pilgrim's answer," she writes, "to every allurement to
loiter or make a home down here,'I cannot tarry; I
am  journeying.'  (Num. x. 29.)  And whither?
Even to that land of promise,'of which the Lord
hath said, I will give it you.' He is'going home.'
It is already his by promise and by gift, and he is
going to take possession of it! It is not merely a
resolution, it is a matter of fact that even now he is on
his way. It could be no question with Israel of old;
for they were neither in Egypt, living in the land of
Goshen, nor in Canaan; but between the two-'journeying.' And they felt it —knew it-to be so.
"'We are on the way to God:'
"' And nightly do we pitch our tents
A day's march nearer home.'
We make progress in a journey: we expect none of
the rest, or ease, or comforts of home, but press onwards. And the promise of God leads us on We
can trust to it.
4*




42      MEIMOIR  OF A. L, NEWTON.
"' Though the shore we hope to land on
Only by report is known,
Yet we freely all abandon,
Led by that report alone,
And to Jesus
Through the trackless deep move on."'
Schiller, in one of his tragedies, has a personage
who, in her enthusiasm of attachment exclaims, " He
sails on troubled seas-Amelia's love sails with him;
he wanders in pathless deserts-Amelia's love makes
the burning sand grow green beneath him, and the
stunted shrubs to blossom; the south wind scorches
his bare head, his feet are pinched by the northern
snow, stormy hail beats round his temples-Amelia's
love rocks him to sleep in the storm. Seas, and
hills, and horizons are between us; but souls escape
from their clay-prisons, and meet in the paradise of
love."  That is but a fond creation of the fancy,
without a counterpart in life's realities.  But the
Christian pilgrim  finds, in the hope of his Lord's
"'appearing," a gladness which is here but faintly
shadowed.  "Jesus endured the cross," writes our
pilgrim, "for the joy that was set before Him; and
that we may- endure it, He would have the'fulness
of joy in His presence,' and the crowns which He
promises to' those who overcome,' to be ever before
us."  This annihilates intervening "seas, and hills,
and horizons."  " Make haste my Beloved 1" the soul
cries in its struggle, lifting heavenward its faith and
hope, " and be thou like a roe or a young hart upon
the mountains of Bether."




THE HOPE  OF GLORY.                  43
Her thoughts at. times took the form of verse.
The lines which follow, though very simple, have a
sweet pensiveness about them, betokening the heart
of the stranger whose eye is upon the Canaan-rest.
They are founded on Col. i. 27, and are dated " May
10, 1846 t"
4 4 THE HOPE OF GLORY.'
i" So bright is the hope of the glory before me,
I'm often impatient, in haste to be gone:
I long, blessed Jesus, with saints to adore Thee,
Those glorified spirits surrounding Thy throne.
"So bright is the hope, that Iwould not live alway
For pleasures this poor fading earth can bestow;
They never can satisfy, never can cheer me,
For each one is tainted with sorrow and woe.
"' Of this body of sin and of death I'm so weary,
I cling to the bright'hope of GLORY' in store
For the souls who have found all on earth to be weary,
And long to attain to the heavenly shore.
"Lord, hasten the time of Thy blessed returning,
To give us the peace and the rest that remain
For Thy servants who stand with their lamps ready
burning,
To enter Thy glory, and with Thee to reign!
"This-this is the Hope that is now set before us;
Oh I when shall we enter that glorious rest?
Welcome, pain! welcome, death! if it brings us to
Jesus,
And banishes hope in our pleasures POSSESSED."




CHAPTER IV.
HE who tempers the wind to the shorn lamb,
had been solacing His servant with this "strong
consolation," before laying upon her His chastening
rod.
Her unceasing labours in the " district" began at
length seriously to undermine her never very robust
fr'ame.
In April, 1844, we find her "going round a new
district, containing at least one hundred houses,"
and "fairly tired out with each day's work."  "l
have been this evening," she writes, in June of the
same year, "to see another poor woman, very much
like Mrs. -, but more anxious. I have had two
deeply interesting talks with her. Only think, what
a privilege to be allowed to speak to poor sinners of
a Saviour's love!  May our unworthy efforts be
blessed!"
And in March, 1845, she writes: "If you knew
how fully every moment has been occupied lately,
you would not wonder at my long silence. Suffice it
to say, that last week I was out at district-work four
days out of the six, from breakfast in the morning
till four or five in the afternoon."




HEALTH BROKEN DOW'N.              45
Often protracting her visitations until she was
obliged to hasten home too late for dinner, she at
last sat down one day overheated, and caught a chill.
It was in June, 1846.
It speedily became apparent that only a season of
entire rest could afford any hope of real amendment.
Writing from Malvern, to which she had gone " for
change of air," she says, of date June 30: " You ask
about my health. I am not well, but not ill. A
troublesome cough has got me at last into the doctor's hands. He has ordered me to the sea-side,
where I may get my constitution strengthened and
have no temptation to work as I was doing at home.
He has positively forbidden me to go into crowded
rooms, Sunday-schools, &c., or to sit in the open air.
I have had appliances to my chest; and I hope, in
time, to be either restored to health again, or to go
where pain and sin are known no more-to that perfect'rest which remaineth.' My times are in His
hands."
Vinet has remarked, that "those who hope and
trust in Jesus Christ present us with a strange spectacle-that of weak, frail, mortal men, for whom suffering and death are no longer a necessity endured
involuntarily, but in some sort an act of the will, because, by consenting to those chastisements, they
transform them into sacrifices."  It was so, emphatically, with Adelaide Newton.  Not suffering "in
spite of herself," but consenting cheerfully beforehand to the Master's will, she was to find in her coming sufferings, only "a bitter dew," which should




46      MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
develope and mature in her soul the germ of faith
and of hope.
"Then shall these powers, which work for grief,
Enter Thy pay,
And, day by day,
Labour Thy praise and my relief:
With care and courage building me,
Till I reach heav'n-and, much more, Theel 
"W Vhat an unspeakable mercy it is," she writes to
a fellow-sufferer, "that God should give us these
trials, and should care so much for us as to watch
over them, and over us in them-that, through them,
we may be brought nigh unto Him! You are, I am
certain, being'led by the right way;' and if it is a
darker way, will not in all probability the result be
brighter?"
And to another: " You know that each drop in
your bitter cup is measured out to you by the unerring hand of your heavenly Physician, who never
makes mistakes, or ceases to watch His patients for
one moment.  Sometimes I rejoice to think how
very soon I may die; for I am sadly tied and bound
by the chain of sin, and long to be delivered from
this body of corruption: but I oftener think there is
too much to be done in me before I am' made meet'
for glory, to allow me to die yet. How calming it is
to remember the words of that hymn"' Till HE bids, I cannot die;
When the time HE wills is come,
Nought can keep me from my home.'




SUFFERINGS AND SACRIFICES.  47
And then to think of our meeting in glory, where
there is fulness of bliss for evermore! Oh! surely
this is a prospect which may well cheer us in our
wearisome pilgrimage through the wilderness of life
temporal.  Life eternal we cannot understand at
present; but what we know not now, we shall know
hereafter.  I will try and pray for you in your
present trouble. Let us not double the anxieties of
to-day, by adding those of to-morrow:'Sufficient
unto the day is the evil thereof."'
Cecil observes, that " such is the state of the world,
and so much depends on action, that everything seems
to say loudly to every man,' Do something-do it-do
it!"' Dear Adelaide had hitherto been an earnest doer:
now she was to be a patient endurer. But, though no
longer able to "speak" much about 1" the King," her
"tongue" was transformed into "the pen of a ready
writer;" and greatly was the Lord to bless her words
"Is it not wonderful>" we find her writing, for
example, to one who had not yet decided for Christ,
"that you can love such a world so well? It is very
hard to give up all and follow Christ; indeed, with
men it is impossible. But, blessed be God, when He
makes us willing, He gives us the needful strength
for every trial. What a wonderful reality there is in
these things-so different from the head-knowledge
which so many possess, who never will be partakers
of heaven or of Christ! It is hard, very hard, to become a true Christian; but think, only for one
moment, what is the only alternative! Do not you
shudder at the bare idea of dying unprepared? Oh!




t8     AIMEMOIR OF A, L. NEWTON.
my dear F, can you go on unconcerned, at the
brink of everlasting death? If I may speak from
my own experience, I would urge you not to leave
the spot where you now are, nor to let the present
moment pass by, without making up your mind at
once to give up the world and devote yourself to HIM.
Forgive me, and don't be offended; it is all because
I love you so much."
One day, a friend remarked to Gerhard Tersteegen,'God has much trouble in bringing up his children."
"Yes," said Tersteegen, " and in bringing them
down."  The detaching and the attaching usually go
hand in hand. "I think," we find Adelaide writing
at this period, " God has been teaching us both the
same lesson, though by different means-namely,
that we must be weaned from a love of earthly objects and find happiness in Him alone. I have by
no means learned the lesson yet myself. No sooner
is one idol removed than I find myself setting up another immediately. God finds in me, I am sure, a
most rebellious, wayward child; but He deals most
wisely, most graciously with me. Pray that we both
may find our faith growing exceedingly, and our love
to each other abounding, whilst the love of so many
waxes cold."
Wandering about in search of health, she writes
to one of her sisters thus: " I hmve been getting my
Irish-reader collection made up, and, through God's
help, sent 161. yesterday. One of my trials now is
such a feeling of indolence and inability to arouse
myself-the re-action, I suppose, of over-exertion in




THIE IRISH-READER  eOLLECTION.  49
times past. How you would laugh, could you see me
at this moment! sitting all alone in my bed-room, at
the open window, with bonnet, shawl, and everything
on! I quite enjoy the air and the sun in this way;
and I must submit to not seeing my friends, remembering the blessedness of being left alone with Jesus.
You taught me that!"
And she adds: " I can't make out what-    means
to do; but it is the very best thing for us to have the
world embittered to us in all ways. Should we ever
have been what we are, if we had had the uncrossed
lives so many young people lead? And I believe, the
more we know of conformity to the' Man of sorrows,'
as He was'acquainted with gA' ief,' the more we know
of Himself, who is all our happiness, our joy, our
peace. Mlay I-Ie be glorified ill you, dearest N —,
where you now are, and ask the same for your fondly
attached sister, ADELAIDE."
" The "Irish-reader collection" was an, object very
near to her heart.  "I am  sure,"' she writes to the
Secretary, on the occasion above noted, " when I look
upon my first originating this little plan, I cannot
but wonder at the marvellous success which God has
been pleased to grant —not so much in amy own case,
as in raising up, through us, three other instrumen-ts
in the same service."  Four missionaries were now in
that field, all of them owing the means of cultivating
it entirely to her exertions. And the money was the
least element contributed. By maintaining a constant
correspondence with the. agents, and communicating
the leading features of their labours to a large circle




50      MEtMOIR OF A. &. NEWTON..
of friends, she kept alive in many hearts a glow of
devotion on behalf of the work, which bore its fruits
in the singular blessing with which their words were
attended.
In July (1846) she returned home "much worse."
"The air of Malvern," she writes, "was too keen and
bracing for me. And now I am ordered, as soon as
possible, to go to the sea, in some warm, sheltered
place. I get quite impatient at times to have done
with sin, and with this body of sin which I carry
about with me; but I must learn to wait the Lord's
time. It is difficult to learn to leave everything in
the hands of God; but it is a lesson we must learn,
and we must be thankful for any means by which we
are taught it."
Later in the season we find her at Sandgate. Rejoicing over one who had at length consecrated herself to God, she writes, on Sept. 29: " God has dealt
wonderfully with you, in enabling you to separate
yourself from  others who serve Him by profession
only. I cannot help rejoicing with you. It seems
as if He were dealing with you as with a choice plant,
whom He would shelter from the withering blasts
which would have assailed you at home. I am sure
of one thing, that it is all love, and that it is just because He loves us that He thinks it worth while to
try and to prune us. But I must ask you to pray
that the end of His present dealings with me may be
fully answered, and that He may still make use of
me in His service, though in a different way from
that I have been used to."




A GLEAM  OF SUNSHINE.              51
From Sandgate she went to London. There a
gleam of sunshine seemed to break upon her.'Mr.
Evans' words to me yesterday," she writes, on Nov. 2,
" were-' I think I see in you beginnings of that improvement which, I fully believe, will end in perfect
restoration by the time you are leaving Torquay.'
So that I must look upon this winter," she adds, " as
a precious opportunity, which I may never have
again, of growing in the knowledge of God. It may
be, that a life of active service is still in store for me;
but I delight to think that the future need be no
source of anxiety to me, and that our chief object
ought to be to live habitually in dependance on that
sweet promise,'As thy day, so shall the strength be.'
How sweet it is to lie passive in His hands, and tc
know no will but His!"




CHAPTER V.
"OuR drive through the vale," writes a Swiss
traveller, " brought us full in the view of the snowy
Blumlis Alps at sunset.  What a form of majesty
and glory!  How he fling's the flaming mantle of
the evening sun down upon us, as if he were himself about to ascend in flre from earth to heaven!"
Adelaide Newton now enters on a course of discipline
which reminds us, at every step, of that stn-mantled
Alp.
Torquay is a spot around which not a few assemble sadly fragrant memories. Dear Adelaide is not
the only saint whose evening sun has here shed its
cheering rays. But not often has
"An unimpeded commerce with the sun"
illumined with so bright a glory a pilgrim in her
evening-hour.
She reached Torquay in November, 1846. At first
it seemed as if she might again be restored to health.
"I submitted," she writes, "to a regular visitation
from Dr. —- this morning. So far as human foresight can foretell future events, I suppose I may
expect ere long to be back again in the world, as I




TORQU AY.                  53
shall call returning to my old pursuits. It is giving
up self," she adds, "1 which is so hard, and which
makes us most like Christ."
In her Diary, we find, under January 1, 1847, this
earliest entry':. "; Begin this year at Torquay, having
been ordered here by Dr. Latham, and in God's merciful providence, placed under Dr. -'s care. May
I this year realize by faith, and prayer, and meditation on such chapters as John xvii., I Cor. ii., Eph.
i. and iii., the personal and substantial presence of
the Holy Ghost within me, maintaining an absolute
oneness with the very body of Christ, and in Christ,
with His Godhead —John xvii. 23. His body, the
Church, filled with all the fulness of God! This is
the hope of my calling, and this the exceeding riches
of the glory of my inheritance in the saints!"
From  her new home she writes: "Wi7hen you
think of me, pray that I may have grace to make a
diligent use of my present opportunities for growing
in the knowledge and love of God, whilst laid aside
from  ordinary home duties and pursuits.  Never
apologise," she adds, "for filling  a letter with
thoughts about Christ's Second Coming.  What
theme so worthy of those whom He has taught to be
looking for Him?   I only long to have my own
thoughts more perpetually turned towards Him."
And a week or two later, alluding to an instance
of Divine power attending the words which her correspondent had spoken, she writes: "I hope it will
encourage you to visit all you can, sowing the seed
of the Word, which God will own. You inquire




54      MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
about myself. Sometimes I am very happy, and
sometimes under a cloud; but Jesus is always the
same. Let us seek to grow up into Him more and
more, till we can say from  the heart,'Christ is
ALL. 7
Her symptoms became less favourable.  "Yesterday," she writes, January 8, to one of her sisters, " I
was saying to Miss E, I should really be sorry
when the time came for me to leave Torquay.'I'm
not sure,' she replied, very kindly,' that you ever will
have to leave it.' I instantly replied,'Oh! I'm not
going always to live here.' And she added,' Well,
from all Dr. -     has lately told me, he has quite
given me the impression, that he thinks it will be
necessary for you to live in a mild climate.' I am
not much given to anticipate; and when I think of
the extreme uncertainty of life, it would be vain to
be looking forward: but it proves very plainly to my
mind, that I have little or no prospect of ever being
strong, which at times comes over me with a degree
of shrinking; and yet if it is to make me reflect
more of the image of a suffering Saviour, I am sure
I ought to be the last to complain."
And to the same, on January 15: "You cannot
think how I enjoyed the Sacrament; only I got so
tired. I don't think I am so well altogether since I
came here.  Some time ago, I never could have
believed that I could be so happy-cut off from all
active work for God as I am now. I feel as if it
would be quite a blessing to have a constant reminder,
in this body of sin, that this is not my rest. It will




INCREASING  ILLNESS.               55
be a constant proof of the chastening hand of God
upon me."
And again: "I am more and more persuaded,
that it is wrong so to long for death, as I sometimes
do; for nowhere in Scripture is it set before us as a
subject for hope, but always the Lord's Second Coming; and, therefore, it is not our own selfish gratification in the release from such a life which is our
hope, but the glory of Christ in the perfected condition of the whole body at His coming. At the
longest, it is but'a little while.' Oh! what a comfort! I am enjoying' Howe on the Righteous' very
much; on Ps. xvii. 15, he speaks so very animatingly
of likeness to God, and of the glory we shall then
enter upon! But what a subject it is for worms
like us to think about! Oh! for growing likeness
to Him now!"
It is not easy to praise the Lord in the fires. And
yet if these fires, not touching a hair of the garment,
only loose the bonds, is there not cause for praise?
"I am beginning to think," dear Adelaide writes to
a fellow-sufferer, at the beginning of February, " that
His chastenings are actually the strongest proofs of
His intense love to us; and how sweet that makes
them, none know but those who learn it, as you and
I are learning it now."
As the winter advanced, her illness grew more
alarming. A sister, whose " happy privilege it was
to be appointed her companion," writes: "At the
end of January she became much worse; and she
continued very ill indeed through February and part




56      MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
of March; but, towards the close of that month, the
hectic fever and the unceasingness of her cough rather
abated."
And another trial was added. " I never remember
to have endured," Adelaide writes to another of her
sisters, on February 22 (1847), " more intense pain
than durIing the last fortnight; and, the last day or
two, mental anguish has aggravated bodily suffering,
to a degree I never at all understood before. I have
no doubt that Satan took advantage of the state of
extreme weakness I was reduced to, to make his
temptations the more effectual; but stronger is He
that is in us, than he that is against us, blessed be
God! And I delight to tell you, for your own encouragement, that yesterday in the midst of such
mental darkness and bodily pain, I still felt the assurance that God was the same unchanged God as
when I was able to feel Him  precious to me. I
could not help thinking that it might be in answer
to a prayer I have often prayed with trembling,'that
I might know Him and the fellowship of His sufferings,' that I was made to taste of the bitterness of
that cup which He drank when tempted of the devil;
for that, too, was at a season of peculiar bodily weakness. "
And she adds: "I like to tell you all this, dearest
N -, because I feel it is real experience, which is
worth many thousand times as much written from
head-knowledge of Bible-truths.  I am certain now
that it is only in the furnace we are purged from sin.
And, however trying it may be, I hope you will pray




GOD S GENTLE PItESSURE.                57
that God may accomplish all His will in me. I want
to feel more thankfulness for His chastening love, and
not to shrink from suffering."
She began to " get into smoother waters again."
"Positively, I am. wonderfully better," she writes,
April 9; " and what is more, I am thankful to be
so. It is God's mercy, and shall be continued at
His pleasure. At one time Dr.       thought very
badly of me, and I really hoped my pilgrimage on
earth was nearly run; but if God should call me
back to the world again, do pray that I may be kept
from av worldly spirit. In this' light affliction' God
has been making me feel, by gentle pressure, that He
is holding me tightly in His hand. Oh! what a
mercy to be so kept!"
Nothing proves so affectingly our lack of likeness
to God, as the faintness of our compassion for perishing souls. God loved the world so much that He
gave His dear Son for it; we love the world so little,
that too often we feel it an effort to tell men that
God has given Him. One of the lessons which dear
Adelaide was learning in the school of trial, was an
intenser sympathy with God in this matter.  " I
wonder," she writes to one of her sisters, "what you
and G —  are doing to-day to make known the
riches of God's mercy to fallen men. Oh! the honour of rescuing but one soul from —oh! I wish
I thought more what it is from. How much more
thankful we should be, if we did!" And, on another
occasion, referring to a woman in her district, who
was very ill: " Do give Mrs. P. a kind message from




58      MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
me when you see her, and ask her if she remembers
a long conversation I had with her last May, urging
her not to put off seeking Christ till she came to be
ill? I suppose she had a' Just as I am;' will you
ask her to consider that as my message to her, and
entreat her not to rest happy one moment till she has
come to Christ? I have so often repented of not
having sent a special message to poor Mrs. R ——,
that I am doubly anxious not to lose this opportunity; and I never but once spoke faithfully to Mrs.
P-.'7
If dear Adelaide was unworldly, she was not unhuman. Her warm, genial heart had an ear for
nature's symphonies.  "The day was lovely," she
writes, April 14, " and this place so exquisitely beautiful, that perhaps natural feelings excite me too
much. Yet God has given us all these things'richly
to enjoy;' and when we can enjoy them, I believe we
ought. Sometimes it is a burden to me even to hear
the birds sing, so little do I yet know of the joy God
has in all His works!"
One of her greatest trials this winter was her
inability to attend public ordinances. In her Diary,
she writes: " Sunday, April 11. —The thirteenth
Sunday spent at home!' Lord, show me wherefore
thou contendest with me."'  And writing to a
friend, April 20, she says: "It is now fourteen Sundays since I was in church; and you may imagine
what this is to me, who, sooner than stay away, have
more than once actually got up out of bed to go.




LONELY SABBATHS.                59
But God is able to make all grace abound towards
me."
A little incident, which had occurred at Leylands
the previous summer, illustrates this feature of her
character. Living at some distance from town, she
was not in the habit of attending evening service.
"We were dreadfully starved," writes one of her
sisters, "with our afternoon sermons that summer;
and she and I were allowed to go in the evening
again in consequence, as long as daylight lasted.
But each Sunday we feared it would be. the last.
When it came, I was comforting myself by singing
hymns in the garden, whilst the bells were ringing
for evening service. Presently she came out, saying,'How can you sing?' I reminded her of an exposition we had heard and enjoyed at a friend's house,
on Ps. cxxxi., and said,'I was trying to behave
and quiet myself like a weaned child.''Oh,' she
said,'so was I; but those seem so blessed who can
still be praising God in His house-who can dwell
there;-I long for it so. To hear the bells is more
than I can bear; I shut myself in my room, and
buried my head, while I was trying to bear the disappointment."'
And she "took heed how she heard."  The same
informant adds: "She never would speak, if she
could avoid it, after leaving church, and often
begged I would not talk to her as we walked home,
even though it should only be about the sermon we
had heard."
But, shut out from the sanctuary, dear Adelaide




60      MKEM OIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
had other joys.  "I enjoy my Bible," she writes,
April 23, " whenl quite alone, so that I have no room
for complaining.  I can never be sufficiently thankful for having such an opportunity of learning something of God, and of what He becomes to us in
Christ —a very present help in trouble."  And to
her sister, a day or two later, thus: " I sometimes
enjoy my lonely Sundays very much, and they go
quicker than ever. And no wonder, when they are
spent in the study of that blessed Word which is the
very life of the soul! God can feed us both with
Himself, dear N, without either ministers or
church; and it is well worth being deprived of the
comfort of either or both, to be driven to Him, the
fountain of living waters.
"'Break all thy schemes of earthly joy,
That thou mayest find thine all in ME I"
Is not that just our experience at this very time?"
And in another direction she was tasting the same
flesh-crucifying but soul-profiting experience.  "I
see plainly," she writes, " that both in you and in me
there is a tendency to form an idolatrous kind of attachments; and God in mercy makes us feel that they
are not HIMSELF. What a bitter lesson it is to learn,
and how much teaching we have taken to learn even
what we have learned!"
Herbert, in his " Country Parson," has a chapter
on " The Parson in Circuit," in which he describes,
after his own quaint fashion, the method of a true
shepherd. Describing a visit from a dear servant of




THE SUNKEN  FENCE.               61
Christ, who had come a considerable distance to see
her, Adelaide writes, "April 9 (1847):"
"Mr. Dallas walked up to the window at Holm
Cottage with B., about half-past two; and as he came
into the room, and took my hand-while we stood,
he prayed that the Holy Spirit might be with us, to
make our intercourse profitable and to God's glory,
for Jesus Christ's sake.
"As B. walked up with him, he had asked if he
might speak out plainly to me, or if I could not
bear the thought of death, &c.? She said he might;
so the moment she left the room, he began to talk
to me, asking me if I thought much about going to
be with Christ? if I could bear to think about dying,
or if I felt afraid of it? When I said I did not, he
said it was right to have a sense of the horrid nature
of death as part of the curse of sin, and that it
should not be regarded as a light thing. But he
was' very thankful' to find that he might talk to me
so quietly about it; and he said, what a wonderful
thing it was that two redeemed sinners could talk in
that way of what the world shrinks from the bare
mention of. How it magnified the grace of GOD,
which had wrought such a change in us!  He said
he hoped I could look on death as a sunken fence,
and look over it and beyond it to the glory on the
other side. Then he talked a great deal about the
Second Coming of Jesus, the first resurrection, and
how near he thinks it is.
" IIHe spoke next to me about depressions in illness
-the mind being acted on by the body-that at
6




62     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
such times, whatever we may feel, the believer is
just as safe as when asleep, and that the very sorrow
we feel at our inability to pray, &c., is actually communion with God-it is the Spirit working in our
hearts. He also talked to me about sleep. He said
the best remedy for calming an agitated mind (which,
after all, was the cause generally of wakeful nights)
was to fix the mind on one thought, such as Christ
upon the cross.
"Then he knelt down and prayed for me, that I
might enjoy much of His presence-much of the
Spirit's teaching-very near and close communion
with God-a sense of acceptance through Jesus, that
all God's purposes might be fulfilled, and the end of
my coming here, &c., be fully realized, and that I
might have patience to wait God's appointed time
for going to be with Jesus, &c., &c. Then he prayed
for B., and for each member of our family, and for
all we loved in the Lord, and that such as were not
yet, might be speedily gathered into His fold; so
that, whether we were among the dead in Christ, or
the living who were to be caught up to meet them,
we might be'for ever with the Lord.'"
We give these jottings, both as indicating the
method of visitation which meets such an invalid's
necessities, and also as opening up a glimpse into
dear Adelaide's own heart.
Grace had adorned with a most engaging patience
a temperament naturally somewhat quick. "As we
moved from lodging to lodging," says her sister, who
was with her, "suiting the warmer and lower situa



PATIENCE UNDER LITTLE TRIALS. 63
tions to the colder weeks of winter, she rejoiced in
believing that in each she gained something which
she could not have had without the move, though
that moving was in itself irritating to her natural disposition, and sometimes, when so ill, a real trial."
"In every lodging," her sister adds, " she studied
to make friends with our landlady and servants in
order to do them good. Though I chiefly waited
upon her, some things-such as cleaning her rooms,
lighting her bedroom fire, &c.-brought her into
immediate contact with the young servant girls, and
her patience with each one having to be taught exactly how she wanted things to be done, often struck
me. One, a girl named Jemima, especially annoyed
her. She was very dull; yet dearest Adelaide begged me to try and teach her about spiritual thingswould often ask about her interest in them, and if
I observed any-and afterwards she took her in
hand herself. Indeed, several of these people have
told me how they prized her words, and that they
believed they'had got quite a blessing from her."'
In May, " it was thought that the journey and the
excitement of going home would most probaby
aggravate her illness beyond the hope of recovery."
"' I have had a most precious winter here," she writes,
May 14, "during which God has been teaching me
for eternity. Oh i how sweet it is to hold communion with our Heavenly Father! It is just a foretaste of what heaven will be; but there we shall be
freed from these vile, clogging bodies. To be told
you have an incurable disease is nothing alarming to




64      MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
me; so far from it, that it only makes me hope God
will soon accomplish His work in me, if such be His
will, and then take me to be-where He is! What
a thought!"
A month later, however, she had so far recovered
as to warrant her return to Leylands.  "And so
ends," she writes in her Diary on June 15, "my
happy, privileged sojourn of betwixt seven and eight
months at Torquay! I think it has been with me a
training place for heaven, though God has not seen
meet to transplant me there. Oh!  for a more thankful heart for the very peculiar tenderness which has
marked all His dealings with me, and rendered it so
sweet, so endeared a spot to me during my pilgrimage, especially in regard to the sweet communion
with Christian friends, much of which will, I trust
not pass away as fruitless, but remain for eternity!
I thank God for giving them to me just when He
knew I needed the comfort of them. May I trust
Him for sufficient grace for every future need!"
And on reaching home, she writes to a friend: "I
am here again for a time, though I must spend the
few next winters in Torquay, they tell me, if I live.
Oh! what an if that is! God has been preparing
me for going to be with Him  in His own time, be it
sooner or later. I only pray that, if His will is that
I should live, my life may be more than ever devoted
to His single service."
And, indeed, she "did what she could."  Writing
at this period to the Secretary of the Irish Missions,
she says: "I enclose O'Connor's salary for the next




A SECRET.                   65
quarter. I am thankful to be well enough to write
and read, and work. I think now that it will become
my duity to do what needlework I can for the Society, as more active work is impossible. In that and
in some such ways I may do something, however
little, in the service of that Redeemer who, when lHe
bought me, bought my time and talents, and requires
all to be used for His glory."
One of the methods by which she helped forward
the work in Ireland was by her pen. We close this
chapter with a specimen of some of her earnest appeals to the Irish heart:
"A SECRET:
"' His secret is with the righteous.'
"I've just heard a bit of uncommon good news
from Ireland; and in these times, when the plague
is already begun among the people, I think it is a
shame to keep it to myself.
"Everybody knows how bad the cholera is, and
nobody can say that they mayn't be the next to be
taken with it; but everybody does not know how to
live through it.
" I've just heard of a' Healer;' and if you like to
know where He is, I'll tell you. The word' Jesus,'
in Irish, means'Healer;' and Jesus is the most
wonderful man for healing disease that ever was
heard of. It is true He is out of sight; but then He
is in heaven, every bit as true a man as I-e was when
He came down from the mountain and the leper met
Him, saying,' Lord, if thou wilt, thou canst make
6*




66      MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
me clean.  And Jesus put forth His hand and
touched him, saying, I will, be thou clean.' And
His Word had that divine power in it, that'iinmediately his leprosy was cleansed.' (Matt. viii. 2, 3.)
"If Jesus was a Healer then, Jesus is a Healer
still. But the most wonderful part of the secret is,
that His Word has got that divine power in it, that,
to anybody who asks, He can give life without end,
and cure them of death altogether.'The gift of
God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.'
(Rom. vi. 23.) He can send a breath of the Spirit
of life into us, and make our bodies temples of the
Holy Ghost, so that no matter what may happen to
the earthly hut of these clay tabernacles which we
now inhabit-they may decay and they may die, but
the immortal inhabitant lives on and on for ever! The
spirit of life which is in them only changes earth for
heaven; and, since it came from heaven, it's no
grief to it to return to heaven. It only wants to
take all it loves along with it.
"Who will come? Who will get this heavenly
life, and go to heaven when they die? I verily
believe it only wants asking for.
"There is one thing more about this secret, and
that is, why so few people give any credit to it? My
answer is, just because it is'secret.' If Jesus the'HIealer' was seen walking in the streets, some few
might believe their own eyes when they saw Him.
But this is what I have to say:
" He will be seen soon-for'every eye shall see
Him'-but it will be too late to be healed then.




THE HEALER.                  67
He is the Healer-Now. The cures are wrought by
faith, not by sight. The life is the Holy Spirit. It
is secret now-' Your life is hid with Christ in God.'
But it will be plain enough by and bye,'For when
Christ who is our life shall appear, then shall ye also
appear with Him in glory.'  (Col. iii. 3, 4.)
66' A man shall be as an hiding place."'




CHAPTER VI.
" I AM certain there must be more growth in grace,
more study of the Word and character of God, and
more time given to it-in fiact, it must be more our
business (Luke ii. 49)-if we are to be exalted
Christians."  In these words-written in June, 1847
-Adelaide Newton indlirectly expressed her own
personal life.
"It was indeed a privilege," writes one who knew
her well at this period, "to be with her and to enjoy
her heaven-born thoughllts.
"' In everything she said or did,
There was a touch of heaven.'
I was struck, especially, with her complete absorption in the Bible.  She was always digging in the
precious mine; and this gave to her mind a peculiar
tone-that of searching for the mind of God in
everything."
In reading the Word, she was never content if
God was "silent" to her. "Silence," we find her
writing, "betwixt our souls and God is one of the
most painful trials we endure; even as we know the




ABlSORPTION IN THE BIBLE.    69
bitter trial it is when a much-loved friend will not
speak to us. David felt what it was to be silent
towards God through his sin.' When I kept silence,
my bones waxed old through my roaring all the day
long; my moisture is turned into the drought of
summer.' It brings such withering deadness over
the soul. Oh! why do we not' acknowledge'-speak
out-' our iniquity?' David knew also what it was
for God to be silent towards him: hence his prayer' Be not silent to me; lest, if thou be silent to me,
I become like them that go down into the pit.' The
word rendered' silence' denotes a willing or voluntary
silence as opposed to being'dumb' and unable to
speak. How often we provoke the Lord to silence!
like a father who cannot talk freely to his child, be;
cause it has displeased him! Alas! how many hours
and days, as well as moments, we lose in silence,
which might be spent in happy, holy intercourse
with our God! HIow blessed it is when He is'not
silent'-when we hear His voice in every word we
read in Scripture-when we hear Him  speaking'peace!''Speak, Lord!"'
Here lay the secret of her heavenly walk. It was
literally a walk with God-a living fellowship-an
interchange of thought-God uttering His thoughts
to her in the Word, and she uttering her thoughts
to God at the throne. On either side she could not
brook " silence."
It was this holy and happy fellowship with the
Father and with the Son which gave to her words
and to her whole life so sweet a fragrance. " I am




70      MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
sure that letter-writing only on ordinary subjects,"
she says, July 7 (1847), "is a sad waste of precious
time, and very unpardonable amongst the Lord's
people, who ought, in their writing, as well as in their
life and conversation, to be different from the world
around them." And she proceeds: "It is very trying for all three of you to be so much out of health;
but, dearest M —, you are able to feel that it
is all exactly right and for the very best, are you
not? We who know something of the utterly unsatisfying nature of this world's worth, through sickness or bereavement or other trials, feel the want of
One who can sympathize with us in it all, and is in
Himself sufficient to make amends for all.  And
surely Jesus is! NVe only need to know Him, to be
sure of it; and every fresh view of Him shows but
the more entirely how'altogether lovely' He is."
A friend had asked her if she thought it " a duty
to pray for restoration to health." Replying to the
inquiry, July 9, she says: "Don't you think it
would not be wrong to do so, even though it were
God's purpose not to grant it? for we have the
example of Christ Himself praying earnestly for
what God never intended to grant; only, it was
with Him, and ought always to be with us, accompanied by,'Nevertheless, not what I will, but what
thou wilt.' From this, would it not almost seem as
if we might pray about anything and everything, so
long only as we ask all in submission to the will of
God? Don't you think that God will in some way
or other hinder us from asking what we ought not,




SYMPATHY  OF CHRIST.              71
or asking too determinately for any particular thing,
as He did St. Paul? He was set upon the removal
of the'thorn in the flesh,' and prayed (he says)
thrice about it; and then God stopped him, not
telling him he had done wrong, but only assuring
him that His grace was sufficient to enable him to
bear it. I readily believe He will deal with us in the
same way, and that sincere prayer for the teaching
of God's Spirit in prayer will save us from praying
sinfully."
In her Diary, on July 14, she writes: "Read
Canticles. Oh! to come into the chambers-the
secret presence-of my Beloved! to have sweet foretastes now of the heavenly communion to be enjoyed
with Him in glory l (Ps. lxxiii. 25)." And, another
day, she records a visit from a friiend who prayed
"that, having been separated from others for so long,
it might be evident to them now that she had been
with Jesus."
Like Andrew going forth that morning in search
of Simon, to speak of HIM with whom he had passed
the night, dear Adelaide now with a new devotedness everywhere commended Christ. " Oh! what a
God we have to do with!" she writes, on July 15:
" what tenderness, sympathy, and wise, unerring love,
guide His hand in all His dealings with us! If
any one ever had reason to boast of the loving-kindness of the Lord, it surely must be myself. Time
would fail me to tell of the great tenderness He
has shown towards me: but you may take encouragement, from what He has done for me, that you,




72     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
too, will find Him the same God. He changes
not!"
Her state of health since her return home, she
notes in the same letter, thus: "I am come home
much better, but weak and good for nothing, and
quite obliged to be idle. I believe I look very well,
and at times I feel very well; but there are hours of
weariness which none know but those who know
what real illness is. How precious to feel that each
is measured out by our loving Father, and is really
working out for us a far more exceeding and eternal
weight of glory! I have thought of you very often
in your peculiarly trying circumstances. To see the
hand of God in each, renders them almost welcome;
for it is a peculiar honour and privilege to suffer
with Christ, and will assuredly end in'reigning with
Him."'
She was no cynic, but rejoiced, like the Master,
to make all around her happy. Delicately tempering congratulations with a seasonable admonition, she
writes to a schoolfellow thus: "Well, dear F —,
as you have often sympathized with my sufferings,
you must now let me sympathize with your joys.
Provided -     be (as I cannot but suppose, from
your choice, he is) a fellow-member of the one Body
likewise with us, and one who will seek to strengthen
your hands in the Lord, I offer you my heartfelt
congratulations. I am far from looking on marriage
and love as trifling or unscacred subjects; they are
designed of God amongst men, as I feel convinced,
to set forth the love and marriage-union of Christ to




LITTL E CONFESSIONS.               r3
His Bride, the Church, and are, or may be, sweet
and holy earthly ties. But it has strongly been on
my mind lately, that they are ties only for time. In
heaven, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels. And now, they that
have wives, are bid to be as though they had none,
because the world passeth away! It must be remembered constantly that the sweet enjoyments of
such mutual affections must be held in subordination
to the lasting, ceaseless, pure, and unrestrained affection which, through time and -eternity, must exist
between the soul and JEsus! All that comes in subordination to THIS, dearest F —, I wish you; and
this itself, the strongest, purest, and most intense enjoyment in personal interchange of love with Jesus,
I wish you also!"
"II am very decidedly stronger as to general
health," she adds, "and get on very well as long as
I don't attempt to get into the carriage or go beyond
the garden. But my chest is often painful; and,
though slowly, I believe disease still makes some
progress there. It is only doing the divinely-appointed work, and in God's own time and way
too."
Some Christians take a morbid pleasure in "making little confessions" of their unprofitableness; and
they mope over their vileness, until they grow proud
of their very humility. For this "sore evil" Adelaide understood the Divine remedy. "I have had
such a dear girl with me to-day," she writes, "the
niece of those two sisters who were with us at Tor7




74     rME MIOIR  OF A, L. NEWTON.
quay, and who are both gone home.  She used to
say to me there —'Oh  if I only knew that I was
God's child, how happy I should be!' and I used to
tell her that the less she thought of herself in that
way the better —for if she tried to think of God as
her Father, she would soon find out that indeed she
was His child.  She has grown in grace wonderfully,
and kept telling me over and over again to-day what
a HAPPY thing religion is! She tells Jesus everything-all her wishes, all her feelings, right and
wrong, and all her little hourly troubles. No matter
who is by, she tells Him everything, because nobody
can hear her; and when she is alone, she reads her
Bible, and prays over it and feasts on it. Yet not
one of her family now is like-minded.  Her two
aunts, who loved Christ, are gone to be with Him.
It has done me good to see her, her faith is so very
simple. Just what she finds in the Bible she believes;
and she says that sometimes, when she feels too wicked
to dare to pray, she says to herself, 6 Oh, but I am
nothing.  I'm not seen; it's only Jesus that is seen;
and I don't pray, but the Holy Spirit makes intercession within me.' I can't help just telling you
about her, becauss you will see how others feel with
regard to those precious truths I have tried to tell
you of. They were an unspeakable comfort to a lady
in York," she adds, "to whom  I wrote frequently
till she died this summer, only telling her of Jesus.
That prayer in Psalm xxxv. 3,' Say unto my soul, I
am thy salvation,' struck her very much. I told her
I thought it said so vXar  much ina so few words —




MOUNTING TO THE SKY.                  i5
God doing everything for us from  first to last, so
that our salvation is wholly in HIM."
And again she writes: "One thing which has
particularly struck me lately is the freeness of God's
gift of Christ, especially in those words in the fifth
of Romans-' the grace of God,' and' the gift by
grace'-given without one single thing in us to render us deserving of it.  "Oh! are we not obliged
sometimes to give vent to our grateful astonishment
in those words,'Thanks be unto God for His unspeakable gift?'  I think it is the freeness of it
which makes it such a stumbling-block to many.
We can't give God credit for being as good as He
In one of his touching little sonnets, Herbert utters
a longing of his heart thus:
"I go to church; help me to wings, that I
Will thither fly:
Or, if I mount unto the sky,
I will do more."
Again, this summer, dear Adelaide was shut out
from " church;" but her soul, nevertheless, was ever
"mounting to the sky."  On August 1 (1847), we
find her, whilst alone in her chamber, throwing her
thoughts into the following simple lines, founded on
Song ii. 3, and on Ps. lxxxix. 15:
"While from Thine earthly courts ascend
Loud Hallelujahs to Thy praise,
Lord, to the'still small voice' attend,
Thy feeble ones in secret raise.




76      MEM OIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
"While- others taste the bread and wine,
The outward signs which Thou hast given,
Oh I feast our souls with love divineThat'living bread' sent down fiom heaven.
" While they are walking in the light,
Which flows from Thee, its living Source,
May we sit down,' with great delight;'
To the same Fountain have recourse I
"Beneath the'shadow' of the Rock,
Defended from the burning sun,
Refresh Thy weary, feeble flock:
Thence streams of living water run.
":May those who tarry still at home' Divide the spoil' with those who go:
Spirit of truth and comfort come,
Make every heart with joy o'erflow 
" Oh l May Thy Church below now'taste'
The sweetness of redeeming love;
And to the Church triumphant haste,
To share Thy fulness, Lord, above I"
As the autumn approached, she began to contemplate another removal to Torquay.  " I honestly con.
fess," she writes, on August 21, "I am  not yet
reconciled to the idea of leaving home so soon again.
As you most truly said, if our wills were conformed
to the will of God, we should no longer know what
trials mean. I was greatly struck with an observation of Lady Powerscourt yesterday, that where God
sends a trial, He sends it where He knows it will be
felt."




MARRIED  TO  CHRIST.              77
Then alluding to the " cloud of witnesses," in Heb.
xii. 1, she adds: " Some of them  have lately been
almost more present to me than the earthly witnesses. I do so like the feeling of having them there;
it's almost like a resting-place for one's thoughts,
though they are kept waiting for us to be perfected.
But they have bidden adieu to this changeful, upand-down world, and are with the Lord; and there
is certainly something that' gives one a feeling of
calm repose in that thought, which cannot be got at
by any other means. And yet we are in Him as
truly as they are; and when faith gets uppermost,
and sinks sight and seen things below the surface for
a while, one can catch glimpses of their joy. Alas!
that they should be so few and far between! But
we shall soon be there too. How quickly time is
hastening our re-union, is it not?"
And, writing to another friend, on September 9,
she says: " Since I have been at home, I have been
studying in Canticles with great delight; and I hope
I have got to realize the union of Christ with His
people in a way I never did before. It is union in
the covenant, so that all the changers in one's feelings, affections, &c., &c., &c., alter it not. We are
married to Christ; and what God hath joined together, can in no wise be cut asunder. With Him'is no variableness, neither shadow  of turning.'
Precious truth! i He loved us while we were sinners,
and He loves us while we are backsliding (Hos. xi
7, 8, 9); for His is unchangeable, everlasting love.
(Jer. xxxi. 3.)  I am so thankful that, amidst terrible
7*




Z8      MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
seasons of coldness and indifference, and want of
realizing anything of these eternal truths, He has
mercifully enabled me to remember that HE changes
not towards me 1"
A friend had written to her, complaining of being
content to seek after " Jesus in a lukewarm, heartless spirit." Adelaide replied: "I got a kind rebuke
from a dear Christian friend the other day, which
points out the true remedy, I am sure for the evil
which you lament, and, in short, for every evil,
every sin, which separates betwVixt us and God. She
says,' I find a great he]p, when tempted to be low
in mind, to shut out as much as possible thinking of
self, in any way, or even of death, but to meditate on
JEsus, to remember His presence with me, when I
think, or speak, lie or sit. Oh! it is sweet thus to
enter into Jesus-to delight in Him-to think of His
perfections-His love, His humility, His patience.
If we ask God's Spirit to give us these sweet, lively,
realizing views of Jesus, will He deny us? Is it not
His especial office to' take of the things of Christ,
and show them unto us'. I shall long to hear that
you have again found sweet' access with confidence'
into the holiest by the blood of Jesus. So inexpressibly precious is that blood to God the Father,
that the soul on which it is sprinkled becomes unspeakably precious to Him  also.  And the very
mention of it in prayer is a plea from which He can
never turn away l'
Her health continued in the same infirm state. " I
am only able," she writes, September 9, " to go down



DIARY.'79
stairs for prayers and breakfast; and the rest of the
day, except when I am out, I hardly ever move off
the sofa. Still, through God's mercy, I am able to
write, read, and work; and I trust He is making use
of me in some humble ways, though not just the ways
I should choose."
In her diary, on August 31 (1847), we find this
entry': "Mrs. Fitchett came to see me: she told me
Betty Fox had charged her with the message that,
if we never met again in this world, she believed we
should in another; that she owed more to me than
she could ever say, and to my going round the
district, where it seems as if God had condescended
to make some use of me; for Mrs. Fitchett told me
she could say the same thing, and she was sure many
others could, too.  May the Lord keep me from
vain-glory, or from taking more comfort from hearing
such things than He intends! Ps. cxv. 1 ought to
be my heartfelt language; for how much more might
I not have done, had I only had a single eye!
Double motives must have robbed me of much of
my reward."
Will not the measure of future glory depend upon
the measure of present service? A place in the
kingdom  depends upon the " finished" work of
Christ; but does not the place depend upon the
individual attainments in suffering and in service?
"I have been wondering so much this morning,"
says she, "why, and for what ends, God is dealing
thus with me, and what my life is now preparing for
me in eternity.  I have thought so much about




80      MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.'sowing seed' lately (Ps. cxxvi. 5, 6), that my
reason seems to say,'I wish to live;' and yet my
heart rebels as much as ever. I hope God will bless'The Shadow of Death.' S   - told me'she felt
as if it were to be the means of delivering her from
the bondage she had been in all her life.' Don't be
distressed if you find you cannot speak to the people
as you wish. Remember, it is not you that speak,
but God that speaks through you.  My constant
comfort just now is, that God's Spirit may breathe
through us."
On September 21, she again reached Torquay, her
"general health so much better" since she had left
it in May, that her physician, on examining her
shortly after her arrival, " could only thank God for
HIS blessing."




CHAPTER VII.
"MARTYRDoMs," says Lord Bacon, in one of his
Essays, "I reckon amongst miracles, because they
exceed the strength of human nature."
Of martyrdoms there are two kinds.  " Perhaps,"
writes Cecil," it is a greater energy of Divine power
which keeps the Christian from day to day, from
year to year, praying, hoping, running, believing,
against all hindrances —which maintains him a LIVING martyr, than that which bears him up for an
hour in sacrificing himself at the stake."  Bacon, in
his Essay above quoted, has the same thought; for,
after "reckoning martyrdoms amongst miracles, because they exceed the strength of human nature," he
adds: "I may do the like of superlative and admirable holiness of life."
It is this kind of martyrdom which is before us in
the subject of our Memoir. And each successive
season seems to encircle it with a brighter halo of
Divine glory.
Writing to one of her sisters from her "new tent
in the wilderness," she says: "The first note I write
is to you, on a day which, I trust, is to both of us
but a foretaste and pledge of that eternal Sabbath
which'remaineth' for us. Oh! what a prospect for




82      MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
souls which find no rest for the soles of their feet on
the ocean of life! Tossed to and fro, sometimes in
their temporal circumstances, sometimes from one
home to another, sometimes in their souls —beat
about and buffeted by the god of this world, and
tormented by the evil workings of their corrupt
natures, till really they do literally feel like the dove,
out of the ark, hovering over a boundless expanse of
ocean! I never felt so more than lately. I have
been tried both outwardly and inwardly, and can
most heartily sympathise with you in those words
you used,' Not doubting, but hoping against hope.'
I feel satisfied that this very experience, dearest
is the strongest proof that we are in Christ. We are
like vessels tossing about upon the water, yet firmly
and securely fixed to the anchor. As long as the
confident hope and expectation of the soul is from
CHRIST (however little comfort or enjoyment there
may be in looking to Him), the soul is exercising
true and living faith; and perhaps faith is never so
strong as when it clings to Him in the dark-I mean,
without sensible enjoyment."
How was she girded for this "living martyrdom?"
"Her enjoyment of prayer was frequently expressed,"
writes her sister, " when we were together in Devon;
and she would often get upon the subject by
questioning me as to my own stated  times for
prayer, comfort in ejaculatory prayer, and whether I
felt able to continue the habit she knew dear Mr.
Dallas had urged me to seek-I mean, praying when
I walked. She loved herself to pray at niglht rv' —




COMFO'RTED  OF GOD.                83
the window, gazing up to the stars; and, in every
room she occupied, she had one particular chair or
spot thus consecrated.' Do not I fill heaven and
earth?' was once quoted as comforting her with the
delightful consciousness of being so surrounded with
God, that her very prayerful thoughts-I mean
prayerfulness not taking so distinct a form as to pass
into words-were known, and, as it were, heard by
Him. And thus, when occasionally out in a Bathchair, I have heard her express her felt communion,
and her delightful realization of His near and all1
pervading presence."
Herself "comforted of God," she knew how to
solace fellow-pilgrims.  "It seems to me the only
comfort," she writes to a bereaved mother, Novemtber 22 (1847), "'in looking at such of God's
dealings with us as are otherwise perfectly inexr:
plicable, that He is doing what Ile wills with His
own; and, since'He does all things well' —-since'His work  is perfect' —since  all He does HIe
makes'to work together for good to them that love
Him,' it seems to leave us without ground of complaint, whilst God is trying our faith, to see whether
we can trust Him so to order each event of our lives
now as best to promote our eternal happiness and
His own glory. It is a great exercise of faith; and
yet how can we doubt it? I never felt the comfort
of that twentieth chapter of Matthew so much before
as I do now: -to think that your dear, dear baby, who
had literally'continued one hour only,' should be
made equal to those who had' borne the burden and




84     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
heat of the day,' is a very precious thought to me,
and seems to magnify the sovereignty of God's grace.
I can only pray that God may enable you to trace
His'bright designs,''treasured up,' as Cowper so
beautifully says,'in deep unfathomable mines of
never-failing grace.' May the God of love and
peace and of all comfort be with you!"
On another occasion, after "a most dreary and
desolate day," she writes: "This kind of life makes
me feel as if, perhaps, it were God's way of answering my prayer to be conformed to Christ's image.
He was perfect through sufferings-sufferings of all
kinds; and so, I suppose, must His followers be.
A thought," she adds, on Gen. xxix. 20, " has made
me feel quite ashamed of being in such a hurry to
die; if years of service seemed so little to Jacob for
the love he had to Rachel, what ought they seem to
us for CHIRST."
For six weeks that her sister was obliged to be
absent from Torquay, Adelaide was one of a small
circle in a boarding-house. Alluding to her "utter
inability to speak to these people," she adds: " But
I pray that God may use me to say what He wants
saying to them. My mind was very much struck in
reading Ps. cxxiii. 1, 2, some days ago, with the idea
of looking up to God every morning for direction
what to do, just as a servant to a master or mistress.
This seems to me the secret of real happiness-to be
what God makes us to all around us."
Three years afterwards, a lady who had been of
that circle died. On her deathbed she informed the




ONLY  ONE LIFE.                85
minister who visited her, that to Adelaide Newton
she owed, instrumentally, her conversion. And four
other inmates of that house looked upon those
precious weeks as a season to them of new life.
It was thus that she sowed beside all waters the
seed of the kingdom. And the sowing quickened
her own heavenliness " In Phil. i. 22, 23," she writes
at this period, " Paul evidently considered that' the
fruit of his labour' made it worth while to abide in
the flesh, however he might long to depart. I
believe this is the lesson I have been learning most
of late."
Only one life! one sowing-time! one season of
laying up treasure in heaven! Realizing that thought
with a new vividness, she writes: "I don't feel as
rebellious about life as I did. I have been thinking
about it as the sowing-time for eternity. Oh! that
we were only sowing continually to the Spirit!
What a rich harvest we might expect to reap hereafter! and what a full compensation for all our tears
by the way!"
Her illness was again manifesting bad symptoms.
"You will be sorry to hear," she writes on January
13 (1848), "that my chest is much worse." And
she adds: " Such are our poor frail tenements of
clay.  Is it not very humbling to look upon all
kinds of disease as the fruit of sin and of the curse
of God?"
But her soul mounted up on wings as eagles'.
"Oh! how I wish," she says, "that I could live up
to my privileges, aud walk worthy of my high call8




86     MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
ing! Pray for me, that, as I draw near the close
of my earthly pilgrimage (and how the days and
hours, weeks and years, do fly!), I may more and
more realize my true position as'accepted in the
Beloved.' 
And one feature of her growing heavenliness is
singled.out thus: "Is there not a selfish feeling in
desiring one's own happiness after death; rather than
desiring the perfected bliss of the whole body at the
glorious appearing of Christ? Nowhere in Scripture
is death set forth as an object of hope, but always
Christ's Second Coming.  I believe you will find
meditation on the Second Coming to be of all truths
the most quickening. I don't know how you feel;
but of late I have been horrified to find a secret
backwardness to cry with my whole heart,' Come
quickly!' and this, too, whilst I have thought of
death as the greatest' gain.'"
In her diary, on January 1 (1848), we have the
following: " Commenced another stage of my journey-another year of my pilgrimage through life,
at Torquay. May every step be' ordered by the
Lord,' and in His Word-' leaning on my Beloved!''3MIy times are in Thy hand,' O Lord. Living or
dying, may I be Thine, and have no will but to do
Thy will! Whilst I live may I sow seed for eternity
every moment, which shall yield an abundant harvest to'the Lord of the harvest!' And in close
union and communion with Jesus-in the power of
resurrection-life, may I be dead to sin, and   be
clothed with humility,' whilst soaring to the




THOUG HTS ON  GOD.                 87
height of that glory which He gives to His members!"
The " humility" which arises from  "soaring to
the height of the glory" is not a counterfeit but a
real humility.  It is in the joyful fellowship of a
reconciled Father, not in a " fearful" doubting of His
love, that the heart is truly humbled.
"Well said the wisdom of earth-' 0 mortal I know thyself;'
But better the wisdom of heaven-'O manl learn thou
thy God.
Learn God; thou shalt know thyself."
"Don't you think," Adelaide writes, "that it is
exactly in proportion as we walk in the light that
we become aware of surrounding darkness.  I have
fancied that this was implied in 1 John i. 7; where,
after speaking of our walking in the light it is immediately added,'And the blood of Jesus Christ His
Son cleanseth us from  all sin'-as if we could not
bear the sight of what the light would expose to our
view, without that to fall back upon."
Cecil writes: "The man who is yet carnal, if
taken into a closet and forced to meditate on God
and eternity, will find it insupportable. But the
spiritual man is born, as it were, into a new world;
he. has a new taste; he savours the thing of the
Spirit; he turns to God, as the needle to the pole."
With dear Adelaide it was natural to speak of
Christ, not forced and artificial. For example, in a
very familiar note to one of her sisters, we find her
pouring out her heart thus: "'Except on the one




88     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
subject, which never grows old, it's of no use
writing anything, in a note which may not reach
you for many days; but on that I must scribble a
few words. What a theme! A Saviour's unchanging love! I have been thinking very much of the
Levitical offerings lately, and especially of thisthat the ground of comfort and true satisfaction to
the conscience was to see the blood on the mercyseat, i.e., to see the evidence that God was satisfied
with the atonement made. That is the point. It
seems to me so comforting to feel, that, if we have
equal evidence that Jesus, our atonement, is accepted
for us, that's enough; we need have no doubt as to
our own acceptance. I have not been able at all
lately to think realizingly of God; and it has
troubled me a good deal; but, through His mercy,
I have not one doubt of His willingness to accept
me, even in spite of my wretched guiltiness and
unbelief."
" I hope you pray for me," she adds. "I don't
mind owning to you, if you will keep it strictly private,
that I have not been outwardly so comfortable since
I came here. I have a thousand little daily annoyances, and no one to tell them to. But I know, if
God saw them not necessary, He would remove them;
so they must be right. How sweet to know God
reigns and orders all our daily lot! May He abundantly bless all your labours in His service! Sowing
in tears now, you shall reap a joyful harvest hereafter,
and perhaps be rewarded, for a long and toilsome




A COMFORTING THOUGHT.                89
carrying of the seed-basket, with many sheaves. God
grant it to you and to me!"
The seed-basket she was ever carrying. " The text
I shall send you," she writes, "is-' He satisfieth
the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with
goodness.' It is so sweet to think, that, as Jesus
is satisfied in seeing of the travail of His soul in us,
so we shall be satisfied in HIim. All fulness dwells
in Him-enough to fill us with goodness.  Don't
you find, more and more, that the things which occupy the minds and hearts of others lose their
interest with you? There is a craving of the immortal soul for higher objects; nor can it be satisfied
with anything short of GOD for its portion.  How
HE comes to be more and more the Alpha and Omega
-the All and in all! And how communion with
Him, when we can realize and enjoy it, seems to bring
us into the very holiest-the presence-chamber of
Jesus!"
And again, to another: "We are hasting to' that
day.' Oh! what a very comforting thought! Certainly I do more and more realize its nearness. I
often feel now quite a wish to see it, and to work
whilst there is room for bringing in the many sons
whom He died to bring to glory. I can pray for
them when I cannot go and talk to them; and I can
ask God to make you and others talk effectually;
and so I think I may be a sharer of your joy in the
day of Christ. I so earnestly covet the honour of
turning many to righteousness, in order to shine
like a star. It is not, however, for selfish ambition
>'




90      MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
that I seek higher glory, but to reflect more of
Christ's glory, which glorifies Him."
And, in another letter: "I have been looking out
lately all the texts which connect the sufferings of
Christ and His glory.  I thought Heb. ii. 9, 10; 1
Pet. i. 11; Heb. xii. 2; and Rev. v. 6-14, peculiarly beautiful.  The Lamb, as it had been slain, in
the Inidst of the throne! And no less than seven
times in Rev. xxi. and xxii. 1-5, is'the Lamb'
mentioned in the description of the heavenly cityas if we should remember it as much then as now,
and should still'glory in the cross of Jesus Christ,'
even in heaven!"
"Love," it has been said, "is the kinll  of words,
carved on Jehovah's heart." The same word is carved
by the Lord on the heart of each of His children.
"I have been greatly struck," writes dear Adelaide,
" with the pre-eminenence which is always given
to love among the Christian graces.'Above all
things, put on charity.' And, in 1 Cor. xii. 31, it
seems as if charity, in the next chapterl, were the
fruit of the Spirit in which, above all others, God
is glorified.  And the first epistle of John also
leads to the same conclusion in my mind: for there
it seems to be the very essence of God's nature, and
to reflect most of it in us. Love and light, hatred
and darkness, stand in such strong contrast; and,
evidently, where they are spoken of in reference
to fellow-creatures, it is only to show how much it
must be so betwixt us and God. The communion
and fellowship in that epistle are so sweet to think




BEING SAFE IN THE ARK.               91
of because it is through this fellowship that the
likeness to Him  is realized. The more we see of
Him now in communion by faith, the more we reflect His image; just as, when we see Him face to
face, we shall be like Him perfectly then-now, only
in part."
And writing, Jan. 29 (1848), to a schoolfellow, on
her marriage, she says: "May you but be united
in the bonds of Christian love, and I have no fear of
excess or of danger of dimhiutlion.  For, in its very
nature, it is everlasting; and, as one of the fruits of
the Spirit, it will grow  and increase continually.
Poor M, on her becoming Mrs.-, once wrote
to me so very strongly about the blessing of having
at least one earthly triend to whom she could confide everything; and when I reminded her of the possibility of losing that one earthly fiiend, and the
blank which would then be felt-poor girl!- she could
not bear it. How different it is to have our Maker
for our Husband! But I trust you have. Then, if
you marry' in the Lord,' you do well."
The trials of each new day quickened her steps
heavenward. After mentionilng that a fiiend had been
"praying with her most beautifully about our bearing
the image of the heavenly as we had borne that of
the earthly," she says: " Oh! if we could but realize what that will really be! and to think that it is
nigh, even at the door!  Oh! that all knew the
preciousness of being safe' in the ark,' ere the floods
of Divine wrath are poured out and the windows of
heaven are opened! What a weighty figure that is




02      MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
of the Lord's awakening, as if from a dream, to take
vengeance on the ungodly! (Ps. lxxii.)  And how
very precious the contrast is, that if all this time
He is sleeping, as it were towards the wicked,' His
eyes are open to the righteous' —He' never slumbers
nor sleeps' towards us! Oh! how little those whose
eyes the Lord has not yet opened know of these
wondrous and life-giving truths! and how we may
praise HIim for so teaching us-adoring His free,
sovereign love!"
Her thoughts.were occupied at this time with a
subject which often afterwards engaged them. "Have
you ever thought much," she writes, on January 24,
" about self-examination?  Systematic arrangement
of questions, or diligent looking into one's own
heart, is what I can see no Scripture-warrant forI mean examining as to our growth in grace. 2 Cor.
xiii. 5 and 1 Cor. xi. 28 are the only two direct
passages I can find in the New Testament; and in
both it is an examination as to being a Christian or
not, and not as to growth in grace.  There are many
indirect passages, such as 2 Cor. vii. 11; 2 John, 8;
Gal, vi. 4; Rev. ii. 5; and Heb. xii. 15, which imply
a kind of self-examination; but I believe these refer
rather to cases of backsliders (so in Lam. iii. 40)
than to careful search as to how far one is growing
in grace. Out of all this arises the query, whether
self-examination, as generally enforced, does not rather
lead to a looking into one's self which is not enforced
in Scripture?"
Another object than her own dark heart attracted




THE LAMB OF GOD.                93
towards it her steady gaze. "'Behold ME,'" we find
her writing, "' Behold MEu.' Of all occupations, none
can be so blessed, so transforming, so strengthening,
so enrapturing as that of beholding Jesus. O! to be
ever hearing and ever yielding to the sweet whispers
of His Spirit, speaking through the Word, and saying,'Behold Me! Behold Me!' Here, indeed, is the
object of faith-a living, personal, ever-present ME.
This is not truth merely, it is Christ-His own Self."
"God the Father," she continues, "summons us to
this act of beholding Jesus-' Behold my Servant,
whom I uphold; mine Elect, in whom my soul
delighteth.' And Jesus calls us to linger over the
wondrous scene of Gethsemane, of Calvary-' Tarry
ye here and watch.' Hear even Pilate say to you,' Behold the Man i' And hear the voice of His messenger, who,'seeing Jesus' for himself, said to those
around,'Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh
away the sin of the world.' "
And she adds: " Grow not weary of this act; look
to-day, and be found looking to-morrow.'Again,
the next day after John stood; and looking upon
Jesus as Ite walked, he saith,' Behold the Lamb of
God i' Does not this tell us that it should be a
daily act? and that, while we look upon Jesus, we
should say to others (as if re-echoing His own emphatic words),' Behold Him, Behold Him?' Behold
Him when you are in trouble;'so shall ye be
delivered.''Mine eyes are ever toward the Lord;
for He shall pluck my feet out of the net.' Behold
Him  when you are beset with fear:'They looked




94      MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
unto Him, and were lightened' (lit., their countenances were made bright,). On'that daly,''thine
eyes shall see the King in His beauty:'' when He
shall appear, we shall be like Him; for we shall see
Him as He is.' These eyes shall see Him on that
day-the God that died for me."
With the returning spring her feeble frame gathered new strength.  "I am  altogether now very
much better," she writes on March 9. "For your
sakes, and for some friends' sakes, and for my own
(perhaps), I could wish it. Mcay my wishes only be
in accordance with His will concerning me! I have
gone through a great deal of spiritual conflict; but,
on the whole, I never knew so well what it was to
be stayed upon the Rock of ages. I should like to
send you an expression I was exceedingly struck with
lately in the Prayer-book version of the 73d Psalm
-' It is good for me to hold me fast by God.' I am
certain that the further we get on, the more we are
made to feel that HE must be EVERYTHING to us.
Have you ever felt the comfort of the words,'Thou
art my hiding-place?' I can give you no idea what
they have been to me-to hide in Jesus, and let
God's eye rest only on Him i"
And again: "It seems so long since I heard of
you; but time rolls so very, very rapidly down the
stream,  that much intercourse by the way seems
impracticable. O for ceaseless communion in heaven!
I hope you are getting on. I have had such very
real and solemn thoughts at night-the sense of
every thought of nay heart being as truly laid bare




THE PRUNING-KNIFE.                 95
before God as if I were standing before Him  in the
judgment!  Anid then to know  that Jesus is in
heaven to answer for me, and that only this veil of
flesh hides Him  fri'om my eyes! 0 how wonderful
it is!"  And a few days later: "VWe ought indeed
to be thalnkful-full of praise; for ie is crowning
us with the richest of all blessings,'the light of His
countenance.' May we be led to praise Eim snore
and more, and to go on our way rejoicing! not
always expecting happy feelings in ourselves, but
always remembering that Jesus is the same, yesterday, and to-day, and for ever."
Other lessons she was learning, as she sat at the
Master's feet.  "It struck me," she writes, "when 1
read your note about coming here, and giving up
your work at home, how often we are made to feel
that it is just the fruit-bearing branches which He
purges and prunes. As soon as the fruit appears,
He uses His pruning-knife-perhaps to cut off the
opportunities we have enjoyed, and when we are
beginning to see that it has not been in vain-lest
we should begin to work by sense and sight, and not
simply by faith. I have thought so much of this
lately-what a mystery the life of faith is. That
passage, Heb. xii. 2,'The Author and Finisher of
faith'-not of'our faith,' because it has reference
mainly to His own life on earth, as a perfect life of
faith from first to last, and applies only in its secondary meaning to us —it has been a great comfort to
me, as it may be to you."
And, on March 30: "I should exceedingly like




96      MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
to know all about you and dear M   -; above all
how you are getting on in the Sion-ward way; for
how little, comparatively, everything else signifies!
I cannot tell you how often I thank God for placing
me in circumstances where I may, and almost must,
spend my time in such pursuits-learning to know
Iimn better. For months before I left home (two
years ago nearly, now), this had been my constant
prayer; but how little I thought how God would
answer it! But unerring wisdom brought it to pass
in the way in which He knew He would be most
glorified. I believe it is one of our most difficult
lessons, to live by faith and not by sight, trusting to
His ordering of things, when they seem so against
us, still.to be the best. The life Jesus led upon earth
teaches this best of all, I believe, if we only understood it; but how little we know of such separation
from the world! You will like to praise Him for
and with me," she adds, "in one instance that has
just come to my knowledge of a young lady, to
whom  a lady here gave one of my'Thoughts for
Sleepless Hours,' and to whom  it was made the
instrument of conversion. She has since entered on
that day that knows no night."
A fortnight later, writing to one of her sisters, of
whom  she "had seen very, very little lately," she
says: "I suppose it is to make us both remember
that we are not to be seeking our enjoyment here,
but only to try to live for God, and to use whatever
intercourse He allows us for helping each other on
to glory. How soon we shall know that nothing




A PRIVILEGED  SPOT.                97
else matters! that whatever is earthly in our love,
or in our duties, or services, or our friendships, or in
anything will take away firom, instead of adding to
our eternal happiness!  0! N, what earthly
creatures we are! I actually feel as if I regretted
that there can be nothing earthly in heaven.  May
God forgive me, and give me holier thoughts and
feelings! How horrid of me to be writing all this
to you-dwelling on self and its vileness, when we
might have our eyes all engrossed with the loveliness
of Jesus! but we shall only think of that in heaven.
All the tears which now fill our eyes, in thinking of
these things, shall then be for ever wiped away. So
we will comfort one another with these words."
In the beginning of May (1848), she once more
left Torquay, "the progress of her disease decidedly
retarded," though without "any very material alteration in her state."  "It is indeed," she writes, " a
sweet and privileged spot, and endeared to me beyond any other on earth. God seems to have brought
me to lie down here in such green pastures as I
hardly thought could be known on earth; for I think
bodily suffering, however severe, is scarcely to be
compared to mental suffering-and yet I ought not
to shrink from either.  How comforting it is to remember that,'in a little while,' we shall see IIim! I
am sure I ought to own, to God's glory, that I have
not felt half so rebellious about things I don't like,
as I used to do. Sometimes I can wish to be'ready
to do whatsoever my Lord the King shall appoint' (2
Sam. xv. 15); and yet I have been learning, too,
9




98      MEMOIR  CF A. L. NEWTON.
how very hard it is to'kick against the pricks,'
when it, pleases God, according to His promise in
Hos. ii. 6, to'hedge up my way with thorns.' As
for dear r, I sometimes think her letters betray a
ripening process so rapid as to make me wonder if
she is to be early called to her eternal home; but it
may be only to prepare her for more active service
here. I think God has more to do in me yet, and
may, perhaps, allow me more sowing-time, so that I
may reap a richer harvest hereafter. How sweet it
is to trust Him  to do the best, whichever it is! I
certainly am stronger, and only want a more thankful spirit. Positively it seems as if I had nothing
but Satan's snares and sinful self to mar my happiness. And you have not much more; only the world
-but what an' only!"'
And, writing to another friend before leaving, she
says, in allusion to her physician's opinion, that, " by
God's blessing, her bodily suffering might be greatly
alleviated and her life prolonged:" — I feel as if to
go Home, and to be for ever freed from sin, would
be such an unspeakable mercy. But I know that
nothing can prolong life beyond God's appointed
time, and that He will not suffer me to die until I-ie
has made me meet for glory. And now it seems as
if, more than ever, I were bound to devote whatever
is left of my life, be it weeks, or months, or years,
to His service only. I am so anxious to ask you to
pray that I may be taught how I may best employ
my time here, both for my own growth in grace and
for the good of my fellow-creatures. I have felt very




SYMPATHY  OF CHRIST.             99
much for you in losing -—; but one thought has
so struck me, which may perhaps occupy yolr
thoughts, too, in a happy way.  It is the delight
which Jesus, in His humanity, must feel, as Ie gets
back one and another to be with Him. Should we not
sympathize in this His joy, while He sympathizes in
our sorrow?"




CHAPTER VIII.
IN her Diary, she writes: "May 6 (1848).-Left
Torquay, and reached Bath at three P.M. May 9.Dr. M'Neile talked to me at breakfast on Cant. vi. 12,
and on the holy, rapturous delight we ought to enjoy.
He expounded 2 Thess. i., and Ps. vii., especially
with regard to calumny. May 15.-Left Clifton at
one, and reached Leylands at half-past eight; truly' upheld;' crowned with lovingkindness and tender
mercies."
Elsewhere, in the Diary, she says: "'The Lord
is in His holy temple.'' Ye are the temple of the
living God.' Lord, dwell in me, and'rest in thy
love' towards me! Ilear the voice of the breathing
-the cry of thy hidden ones. (Rom. viii. 26, 27.)"
And again: "Dear       called, but only had time
to allude to the communion which is to be perfected
in heaven, and of which the foretastes here had
made some of the happiest days on earth."  And
another day: "At half-past five, Mi    B-  was
sent for, to be conveyed in the chariots of angels to
the heavenly banqueting-house, to go no more out."
And on April 3: "This day I finished Canticles;
how often I have wondered whether I should live to
do so."




HEART-DEEP.                 101
And on the day following: " This morning I awoke
betwixt three and four, with such a sense of extreme
difficulty in breathing, that I really thought I was
dying. I believe I never felt this in my life before.
I was obliged to get up, but found relief in a fit
of coughing. I did not wish to die at that moment, but even prayed to be spared yet a little longer!
That very near feeling of death was very painful
to flesh and blood. The Lord give me the victory
over it when He calls me to pass through the shadow
of it!"
And  on July 9: "AMy precious and beloved
Harriet B —  ruptured a blood-vessel at nine P.M.,
and her spirit fled to Jesus! Blessed sovereignty of
our unchanging God, who does what He wills with
His own! The last time we ever met on an earthly
Sabbath in God's earthly courts was on Easter
Sunday, when we both went to meet at His table to
commemorate the resurrection of Christ the Head!
When we next meet, will it not be in our eternal
Sabbath, in our heavenly Father's house above, to
join in the marriage-supper of the Lamb, at the resurrection of thle members? Thrice blessed fellowship in Jesus!"
The summer of 1848 was spent at Leylands.
Herbert counsels him who would bear worthily
God's message, to "dip and season all his words and
sentences in his heart before they come into his
mouth, truly affecting and cordially expressing all that
he says, so that the auditors may plainly perceive
that every word is heart-deep," For some time back,
9*




102    MEMOIR OF A, L. NEWTON.
dear Adelaide had been engaged in a study which
very peculiarly needed such a method.'i In 1847,'
writes her sister, "she had begun her notes on the
Song of Solomon, looking into the Bible for illustrative and parallel texts, whenever her suffering in the
head would allow her; and thus had commenced a
MS. which afterwards expanded into' The Song of
Solomon, compared with other parts of Scripture."'
And, on Mlay 25 (1848), she herself writes: "I am
now re-writing my texts on Canticles, and fresh beauties open to me in every verse. And yet how intensely little the most deeply experienced Christian
knows of the fulness of the Word of God-the living Word in the written Word?"
And on July 4, she writes: " I am now in chap.
vi. Ask for quickening grace, for' the wind to
blow upon my soul, that its spices may flow out,'
and for more of the mind of Jesus. I was thinking
yesterday how little we know of sympathy with Him
— how ltttle we are sharers of His joy, His peace,
His sorrows, His expectations-' from henceforth expecting."'
And to another, on July 10: "His'Notes on
Judges' open up exactly the same truth which I
have been dwelling upon in Canticles —that repeated
declensions cause greater and more lengthened seasons of distance from the Lord, and He does not so
immediately give the renewed sense of His presence.
Many, many times lately, when I have been tempted
to the recommission of the very same sin, with the
full conviction that I should have to go and ask for



THE PRECIOUS  BIBLTE.                 103
giveness as soon as I had committed it, I have painfully felt-exactly what Mr. B. says, that it is a
very serious thing to be drawing on God's forgive
ness."
It was thus she was dipping day by day the Word
"heart-deep."  " Whilst any book," says her sister,
"particularly if it were original and deep in thought,
which threw light upon the one Book, she would
listen to or eagerly read for herself, her precious
Bible  grew  in  preciousness-type, prophecy, history, parable, alike fed her, and, in feeding,' satisfied' her.  Often when I came in fronm a walk, she
would, with the brightest look and smile, say how she
had been'revelling' in such a passage, or in such a
sentence!"
"O  Book!" her whole  remaining  pilgrimage
seemed to say —
"0 Book  infinite sweetness! let my heart
Suck ev'ry letter, and a honey gain,
Precious for any grief in any part,
To clear the breast, to mollify all pain.
"Thou art all health; health thriving till it make
A full eternity. Thou art a mass
Of strange delights, where we may wish and take.
"IHeav'n lies flat in thee,
Subject to every mounter's bended knee.
"Oh, that I knew how all thy lights combine,
And the configurations of their gloryI
Seeing not only how each verse doth shine,
But all the constellations of the story I




104     MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWT:ON.
"Such are thy secrets; which my life makes good,
And comments on thee.
"Stars are poor books, and oftentimes do miss:
This book of stars lights to eternal bliss."
In July an arrest was laid upon her pen. " One
rather unfavorable symptom," she says, "has appeared lately, which makes the doctor urge all rest
from mental effort that I can make."  And to another: "I never felt so completely compelled to
bow before the sovereign will of God as at this
moment, I think. You would hardly believe how
fierce the conflict sometimes is, between longing to be
spared for active work in the vineyard, and thirsting for that nearer, closer, and more uninterrupted
communion with Him we love, which heaven only
can afford!"
And, writing to one of her sisters, she says: "I
have often been thinking of you all, and wishing you
much of that presence of the Lord which makes the
hearts of His disciples' burn within them while they
talk together by the way.' And how truly are we
on the way,'journeying to the land of which the
Lord hath said that He will give it to us,' pitching
our tents nearer and still nearer the heavenly city!
jI am so fond of that contrast:'tents' now! but' a
city which hath foundations' then-' eternal in the
heavens!' These are the thoughts with which we
must' comfort one another;' and our' hope maketh
not ashamed.'"
And to another, a few days later: " Precious



THE MUDDY STREAM.               105
very, very precious-is the sovereignty of our God!
Don't you think it is a truth one learns to prize more
and more each step of the way 2 It used to strike
me so much, when I first went to Torquay, in Mr.
Fayle's sermons-how very much he dwelt upon it;
and now I see why I was to hear it just then. But
it is a pity," she adds, " to speak of one's-self to any
who love better to hear of JESUS. Writing of Him
is like talking of Him  to others; it quickens our
own souls, as we learn from the Bride in Cant. v.
And though we may have Him in own our hearts,
and speak of Him  there, still it is a pity to drink
from  a muddy stream when the Fountain is nigh.
Have you seen much of Him in the Word lately?
I know it is God's wisdom which so places me, that
I should have to go direct to HIM. And how able
and willing He is to give me all I ask!'Open thy
mouth wide and I will fill it.' I should like your
letter, when you write, full of your late'gleanings'
from the fields of our' Boaz.'"
Love to the brethren was, with dear Adelaide, not
a dogma of creed, but an instinct-a passion. " It
would, indeed," she writes, " have been a delightful
refreshment to have some communion on earth with
one who seems to live so near to his God and our
God; but the Lord saw it not good at that time."
And to another: "I often wonder at God's goodness to me, in letting me have so many of His friends
as my friends on earth-some who seem to live so
near to Him that I think they must be peculiarly
dear to Him, if that is possible. And there does




106     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEW'TON.
seem  to be such a difference betwixt those who are'scarcely saved' and those to whom'an abundant
entrance' is given-those who have lived for many
years in fellowship with Jesus here, and those who
have but given themselves to Him  at the eleventh
hour."
God in everything-in the little things of life, not
less than in the great! and my God! my Father!
what a secret of calm rest!
" Teach me, my God and King,
In all things Thee to see;
And what I do in anything,
To do it as for Thee.
" This is the famous stone
That turneth all to gold;
For that which God doth touch and own
Cannot for less be told."
Dear Adelaide was daily learning more of this
heavenly alchemy.  "May it go forth and prosper,"
is her counsel to a friend, regarding a Work with
which her correspondent was occupied, " and God's
blessing go before you in it!'All Thy works praise
Thee.' May He give you to see His hand in every
single fibre and leaf you arrange and classify! and
then you will be learning heavenly lessons in earthly
things. If I might venture to say so to you, I should
very strongly advise you not to take one step in the
publishing of that work without prayer. Pray for
God's blessing to go with every letter you write
about it, and, in short, with all that concerns it




WORKING FOR GOD S GLORY.   107
you and your friends.'Whatsoever ye do-whether
ye eat or drink (or arrange seaweeds, might it not be
said?)-do all to the glory of God.' Do, if you can,
make that a higher aim and object even than your
own benefit. Forgive me for saying so; it is because
I have found such precious enjoyment in turning my
ordinary employments to spiritual good in that way,
that I mention it to you. It is not irreverent to
pray to God about such things: there is not an act of
our lives He does not see, nay, that HIe did not foresee from eternity; and He would have us like children, speaking of everything which interests them to
their father."
And she adds: "Whilst writing these thoughts,
B. came to thle window with some lovely'forget-menots,' saying,'They may forget, yet will I not forget
thee.' Was not that exactly carrying out what I
was saying?  Oh! dearest M   -, let us earnestly
seek closer hozurly communion with God in Christ.
It carries one calmly through bodily and mental suffering; and this glorifies God."
And to another:'" I am indeed delighted that you
are so fond of tracing His hand in the little daily
events of life. I find it makes the most disagreeable
things, and people, a cross to be borne after Jesus,
and so-a privilege."
To "wait" and to " work," are equally "living
sacrifices," when offered up in faith and in hope. "I
cannot say how very unsatisfactory my life seems at
times," she writes, "nor how difficult it is to believe
that I ant just in the very best position; but I sup



108    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
pose we shall understand it all very soon. Talking
is such a trouble to me; but it is foolish to write
about it.  How very little it matters! I am often
obliged to say to myself,
"' Tarry thou the Lord's leisure,'
whilst at the same time I dread sinking into lukewarmness.   Oh! how  difficult it is to let our'moderation' be known!  I never satisfy myself
about anything until I can desire to lie like clay in
the hands of the potter, that HE may make me what
He pleases, both in bodily and in spiritual things."
Reverting to the subject of self-examination, she
writes, on August 7 (1848): "I am  learning one
lesson at least just now-to see more of my own
vileness. It is a lesson I would shrink from learning
through examination of my own heart to know its
secret evil: but I have asked that I might be taught
what God saw it needful for me to know, and I
desire to leave it to His way of teaching. I often
fear I may lose by not searching it out for myself;
and yet I believe that watchfulness at the time, and
not retrospective self-examination, is the scriptural
thing. Do you catch my meaning? Did you ever
get upon that subject with any of your deeplytaught friends? It is as interesting and important
to my mind as ever; and so is'crucifying the
flesh.'"
Her health, with the exception already named,
continued, this summer and autumn, much the same.
"I am a regular invalid still," she writes to an old




AN ABIDING PEACE.                109
schoolfellow, on Aug. 31, "always lying on the
sofa-better in the summer, worse in the winter,
and obliged to spend half the year at Torquay.
Still I am able now to employ myself quietly in my
own room, without any of the intense suffering I
have had. Dear E  -, don't you feel more and
more every day how very little temporal, temporary
things have to do with our real, lasting, eternal
happiness? I hope you are very happy, not only in
the full enjoyment of earthly blessings, but in the
possession of that calm, sure, and abiding peace,
which the world giveth not, for Jesus calls it'my
peace.' Most truly can I affirm, that nothing short
of it could ever have carried me through the long
illness I have had, and the intense suffering of the
two last winters. I believe you never knew dearest
HI — B: she, too, spent the two last winters
at Torquay; but she is gone Home, and has left me
behind."
And to the same friend, on Sept. 11: "I have not
heard from A — for many months: perhaps I wrote
more faithfully than she quite liked about her marriage; for I could not help trembling for her at the
prospect of uniting herself to one whom she could
only say she hoped was'well-disposed!' and I loved
her too well not to tell her the truth. I know it is
impossible for those who have never felt it, to enter
into the feelings of those who have looked upon life
from the borders of the grave; it gives a reality and
a comparative value to each, which must be learned
experimentally to be understood. How differently we
10




110     MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
shall feel when we look back, from  another state of
existence, upon a life frittered away in vanity, instead
of being spent in sowing seed for eternity, I cannot
form any idea-the thought is so perfectly overwhelming' to me."
And to another, on Sept. 28: "I have had a beautiful letter from L    ~ this morning.  She seems to
be growing very fast in likeness to Jesus, quite making that her first business in life. Oh! is it not
strange that the things which literally' perish in the
using,' should occupy us more than durable, eternal
realities?  I will send to both of you Prov. viii. 18,
as beautifully expressing what you come into when
you go out of the world and are separate from it,
and are received by the Father.  There, in Jesus,
you are heirs to unsearclable riches.  May you both
find the weight of this scale increasing, as you more
and more lighten the other! You will not regret to
see the world's side continually rising, if you have
the deep, deep comforts which spring from the filling
up of the other till it sinks you into eternity,' filled
with all the fulness of God.' Remember me at a
throne of grace: you don't know how much grace
I need to live with, ere I need dying grace.  But it
only wants asking for."
" She rejoiced," says a friend who knew Adelaide
well, "in every opportunity of studying the holy
Scriptures, as one who had found great spoil.  Her
face literally seemed to shine with serene delight as
she elicited, step by step, the unsearchable riches of
Christ."   "I am  longing," she herself writes, on




LIFE  ETERNAL.                111
Sept. 29 (1848), "to hear from you again if yoil
have any rich Bible-thoughts for me. Precious, precious treasure!
"'My never-failing treasury, filled
With boundless stores of grace I'
I really do think my Bible is enough for me, whereever or whatever I am: and the wilderness loses its
loneliness, while we lean on the arm of our Beloved.
W~re can forget what a rough, thorny road we are
walking on, while our thoughts were engrossed in converse with One so all-engrossing as Jesus!-Him in
whom dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily!
Oh! what very amazing thoughts for frail humanity
to pen! And yet we are ourselves the very members of that Body in whom this fulness dwells! Oh!
to think and write such things with the deep, deep
reverence which becomes the beggar raised from the
dunghill!"
And, in the same letter, she adds: "I am very
much interested in prophetical thoughts just now.
If the Lord will, we may, perhaps, go into these
depths of divinely revealed truth this winter.  I do
so covet to know all that I can know by faith, while
yet in this earthly tabernacle.  No wonder Time
should fail, if Eternity cannot exhaust its treasures.'This is life eternal, to know THEE i'"
Tenderly watching over one very dear to her, she
writes: "As a birth-day text, I cannot choose a more
comprehensive and glorious assurance for you than
Phil. iv. 19 —' My God shall supply all your need ac.



1132    MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
cording to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
Not according even to my best wishes for you, for
these are unworthy of Him, but'according to His
riches in glory!' Nothing seems to m.e to make the
Christian so perfectly happy and contended-come
what will —as the certain knowledge that God does
it out of His riches of grace, and glory, and wisdom
-yea,'the depth of the riches both of His wisdom and knowledge.' He has no need to act sparingly; He cannot act ignorantly; He delights to act
freely, out of the riches of His glory. Oh! dearest
M, are not such thoughts enough to silence all
the misgivings of our timid, anxious hearts? Two
very favourite birth-day texts of mine are-' Our
DAYS on the earth are as a shadow,''but thy YEARS
are to all generations.'  I am  fond of contrasting the littleness of our existence here with the
eternity of the existence of our God. It makes us
feel what it is to be safely anchored to the' Rock
of ages.'"
In other letters of this period, she writes: "I have
been so greatly enjoying those verses in Ps. lxv. which
speak of His showers as'dissolving' the earth (mnary.)
-such a sweet emblem of the work of the Holy
Spirit softening and dissolving our stony, parched,
and barren souls." And again: "You have perhaps
heard that the Lord has taken my beloved friend
-     to Himself.'Another lily gathered!' As my
treasure accumulates in heaven, so may my heart and
affections be more drawn thither i"  And still again:
"I suppose I said, I believe glory to be consequent




THE  LOVE OF THE SAVIOUR.   113
upon suffering. I meant by this, merely the necessary connexion betwixt the two, which I had in my
mind. And both come from our oneness with Christ.
That is one of the most precious of all truths, is it
not? indeed, the foundation of everything that concerns Christians:'no longer twain, but one flesh;''members of His body, and of His flesh, and of His
bones?'"
As the autumn advanced, we find her at work again.
"I am in hopes," she writes, " of getting a Ragged
school established in Derby.  Will you try to pray
about it for me? It is a suitable male teacher we
want, and faith to act on Mark xi. 24." Her efforts
for this school only ended with her life; and a remarkable blessing followed them.
And other labours she resumed with new earnestness. " I must plead guilty to your charge of very
long silence," she says, writing to a friend, on
Oct. 8 (1848), "I was forbidden in July to write
more than I could help; but for some weeks lately I
have been perfectly well able to write, only I have
had a Torquay friend staying with me, whose life
seems so uncertain that I tried to devote my whole
time and strength to her. Till fourteen, she had
never seen a Bible, and had known but little of it
comparatively since till last winter; and it has been
my precious privilege to lead her to see and taste
more of the depths and heights of the boundless,
fathomless love of that Saviour so richly unfolded
to us there.  Ah, dear F, never, never shall we
know it all. Eternity itself shall be ever employed
10*




114    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
in opening up the stores of grace treasured up for us
in Him."
In the same letter she gives us a little cabinetpicture of her daily outward life.  "I almost feel
reluctant," she says, " to waste my moments in writing, and yours in reading, about myself, when there
are such themes before us; but, as dear Dr. ---
used to tell me, even my body is precious to Christ,
for He has purchased it and made it His.  So you
shall hear what He has done for the'earthly house
of this tabernacle.' I am wonderfully better; much
stronger, and suffer but little pain.  Still I am  not
strong enough to bear the carriage, or much exertion
of any kind. I live very quietly, chiefly upstairs,
and get out a little in the garden whenever the
weather will let me. I am not sure yet whether I
shall go back to Torquay. I am doubtful whether
it will be necessary. How sweet it is to leave ourselves in the loving hands of Jesus, who will do what
is best for us, even to the ordering of all the little
daily crosses and hourly disappointments of life. To
see each thing as His doing, makes it all sweet, in
spite of the trial which it may be in itself. MTIay He
make your cup to run over, dearest F —, with the'wine and milk' which He offers so fieely for our
use, filling you' with all the fulness of God.'"'
Towards the end of October, it was decided to
winter once more at Torquay. "The cold of the
last few days and nights," she writes, on Oct. 18,
" makes me thankful that I have not had my own
way, which would have been to try and stay here.




SELF-EXAAl INATION.                116
The more, however, I devised that scheme, the more
plainly God seemed to open the way for our going;
and I feel a great secret pleasure in having my will
crossed, and so in being led blindly by a way I know
not."
In the interval, she writes: "I believe those who
are most purified will reflect the Refiner's image the
most brightly. The finer and most exquisite features
of the Christian character are brought out only in
protracted purification by fire-don't you think so?
The soul is safe for eternity, if there have been but the
believing look to Jesus; but then the development
of the graces of the Spirit have not had time for
exercise. There must be trial, ere we can exercise'patience,' and irritating circumstances to call forth
long-suffering. "
And, reverting to a subject before noticed, she
says: " Self-examination I have studied with no
ordinary care for months.  I think Christians are in
great bondage concerning it.  I hope you will forgive me for saying so. I am  so sure that much of
the gloomy doubtfulness of the Lord's people, as to
whether they are His or not, arises from  seeking
evidences in themselves, instead of only looking to
HIM, which is itself the most convincing of all evidences, that IT dread looliig much to self for any
cause.' Walking in the light will surely best show
us our darkness!"
And, on the eve of setting out, she writes, on Oct.
30 (1848), to one of her sisters, thus: " What I wish
for you, above everything else, dearest  --—,is,




116     MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
that you may have your heart so full of thoughts of
Jesus as to be able to say:
"' I journey through a desert, drear and wild,
Yet is my heart with such sweet thoughts beguiled,
Of Him on whom I lean, my Strength and Stay,
I can forget the sorrows of the way I'
Why should we not?  There is no blank, no void
which Jesus cannot fill.  Does He not create those
blanks in order to fill them?  We can only learn' the fulness of Jesus' by being emptied of self. May
He make this a fresh means of filling you with all
the fulness of God! a fresh creature-stream  dried
up, that'the fulness of Him who filleth all in all,'
may flow in! Let us see God's designs in trying us:
"' The clouds we so much dread
Are big with mercy, and shall break
In blessings on your head!''The balancings of the clouds are His! They come
charged with rain, to refresh the dry and thirsty
ground.  Let us thank God and take courage, and
go on our way rejoicing!"




CHAPTER IX.
HER last winter at Torquay opened. brightly. " We
are very happy altogether," she writes, on Nov. 13
(1848).  "May our joy be only'in the Lord,' and
not in our circumstances! As to the future, I am
now heartily desirous not to choose or wish for
myself, either to live or die. To be content under
all circumstances is the highest attainment of the
Christian life, and is certainly the summit of happiness. It is a lesson which it seems to take a life
to learn; but Paul says he had learned it."
Under the same roof with her, this winter, there
resided a visitor who found in dear Adelaide "her
first spiritual friend."  "I think," says her sister,
6"she was only thirteen, though quite womanly in
appearance and manner.  She was charmed with
Adelaide at first sight; and the affectipn was mutual,
for Adelaide warmly returned it, and had her with
her as much as possible-the result being beyond the
attachments of earth, for J - learned to know and
love the Saviour. Whenever I was out, J —- sat
on a little stool by her sofa, drinking in words of
eternal life. She went back to school in February,
1849, loving Jesus as her Lord, and loving her new




118    MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
friend as the means of first opening her mind to see
His beauty and to feel His preciousness. She now
resides in India, and lias since walked most cousistently as a follower of Christ."
Her health having on the whole improved, " Adelaide was able," says her sister, "to see more of her
friends and neighbours."  And alluding to this, she
herself writes, on Nov. 22: "I am quite in the world
again (to me) here now; and I find it very trying
and soul-hardening: but God is able to make all
grace abound toward us, and I feel as if we should
specially glorify Him by trusting Him  to carry on
His own work in us as mightily and effectually in
the midst of every sort of hindrance as in the quiet
of solitude. Are not you too much inclined to put
yourself out of the world in order to be wholly given
to God, while Christ's prayer for us is-' I pray not
that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but
that thou shouldest keep them from the evil?' That
is the nature of His intercession for us both, as much
now as then, and especially so (don't you think?)
when He sympathizingly feels how much we both
need it."
The Word became increasingly precious to her.
"I have been so enjoying Ps. cxix. lately," she writes,
on the same date: " it fully says all that I am sure
you and I feel of delighting in God's Word so far
above everything else. A dreadful conversation with
poor R. W. on Monday evening made me go to bed,
saying,'Horror hath taken hold on me;' for he
actually owned to me that he dared not, and could




HUNGER  AFTER  LOVE.              119
not, promise to read the Bible! I believe he has
really been to Oscott and joined the Papists! Though
he does not quite own it, he can't deny it."
And she adds: " I had a very nice visit last week
to Miss, a girl just my age, and ill in exactly
the same way. She is full to overflowing of Christ
-can think and talk of nothing else; and her countenance literally reflects His bright rays. She seems
to have felt all I have about life and death, and now
at last has learnt to he quite thankful to live, though
joyfully waiting to be gone. She told me she had
been thinking so much of her need of knowing
Christ personally, in order to be able in Him to meet
and contend with the personality or the personal
agency of the Devil.  You will feel it too, I think."
Terstegen once wrote: "Do not think so much
upon denying yourselves, upon being faithful, or upon
living holily and strictly; but only seek to lovehunger -after love-exercise yourselves in love. The
love of Christ constrains the believer into suffering
and through suffering."  Alluding to a trial which
had come apon her, Adelaide writes, on Dec. 7
(1848): " I find a blessing to myself in this breaking down of my natural will. It is a daily cross,
and a burden; but to take it and bear it after Jesus,
not doing my own will, but my heavenly Father's;
is sweet to me still. Don't you feel more and more,
every day, that to be dying to everything here, and
living to God, with a full sense of the bearing of each
passing moment on eternity, is the grand end of
life?  To crucify our flesh with its affections;and




120     MEMOIR  OF A, L. NEWTON.
lusts —-not, as the Romanists and others do, to feel
that they have done a good deed, but because we
find it opposed to the life of the Spirit of Christ in
us, so opposite as it is to the patience, gentleness,
love, meekness, which ought to be reflected in the
followers of the meek and lowly Jesus; this is the
aim of all our discipline."
"It is most beautiful," she adds, "to see this in
somae of the tried sufferers here-their cheerful endurance of the most intense pain from day to day
without a passing murmur, and their bright hope of
glory-' an eternal weight of glory,' which (as one of
them said to me the other day) zmakes the afflictions
seem light. It is most encouraging to me to see how
others are borne up above the billows by that sure
anchor of the soul, which entereth within the vail,
sustaining them; and I won't shut myself out, for I
am sure it sustains me too, through every suffering of
mind as well as body."
A closer intimacy with God was her heart's daily
longing. "A friend said to me the other day," she
writes, "that my chief object ought to be to seek to
know God more and more; and I hope I am learning something more of Him. My Bible seems to
do mne good when nothing else does; and it is so
sweet to seek the teaching of God's Spirit, and then
to get to understand a little of the meaning of one
verse after another. I find the Bible so exceedingly
full of comfort and beauty, as I get to think more
about its meaning."
Vinet speaks of that " eccentric philanthropy"




HOM E  -       o   E S P 0 NDEN C E.  121
which "passes over the parent to give itself to
country, and passes over country to attach itself to
humanity; but the Gospel," he adds, "far from  despising the private affections, recommends them."
Dear Adelaide loved her kindred, and anxiously
laboured to help them forward in the way. With
two of her sisters at home, she maintained, this
winter, a peculiarly touching fellowship; and as it
was her last season of absence, we select a few memorials of it.
To one of her sisters she writes:
" SUNDAY MORNING, TORQUAY,
Nov. 19, 1848.
"MY PRECIOUS N, —
" It shall be one of my sweet employments on this
hallowed day to minister, as God shall enable me, to
your necessities.' Iron sharpeneth iron,' as I have
been thinking very often lately; and so God shall use
us as fellow-helpers and quickeners to each other, as
we bend our steps, on each successive Sabbath, not
indeed to the same'worldly sanctuary,' but to the
same heavenly temple not made with hands-to present ourselves as living sacrifices on the altar of that
temple, even Jesus, in whose whole burnt-offering of
Htimself we, as the members of His body, are offered
likewise to the Father.
"Dead and risen in Him! for the same Spirit
which baptizes us into His death, makes us equally,
of necessity, partakers of His resurrection also. This
is the grand marvel to me, that we are now as truly
11




122    M EMOIR OI      A. L. N EW TON.
risen as we are dead in Jesus, and our life is, as truly
as His own, hid within the vail. And this makes it
so essentially of necessity, that the Christian must
live holily-i. e., in exact proportion as he realizes his
resurrection-life. His conversation or citizenship is
in heaven; and his conflict and his warfare are consequently said to be'in high or heavenly places.'
(Eph. vi. 12.)
"I heartily thank God for giving you more of
Himself, directly from Himself, in place of its coming
through an' earthen vessel,' which both limits the
abounding flow of His fulness, and also gives an
earthy taste to the living water. The smallest and
most muddy stream of that water quenches more of
the thirst of the soul than the greatest abundance of
earthly good; but it is a pity we are content with
impure and limited draughts of what we might drink'freely' (Rev. xxii. 17) and'abundantly' (Cant. v. 1)
from'the wells of salvation,''the fountain of living
waters;' and I really account it a great mercy to be
driven to this.
"Go on from strength to strength, testifying of
Jesus while He gives you time and strength to speak
for Him; and, in telling others about Him, you shad
yourself find Him  to be your Beloved and your
Friond, as in Cant. v. I praise Him  heartily for M.
W. Ask Him to make all you say to be the breathing of His Spirit through you, and it shall be life-giving and quickening. He blesses you wonderfully;
above all, in the circulation of His own Word, which
never returns void to Him who sends it. What an




H O ME - CORRESP O ND EN C E.     123
amazing thought! The Lord bless you abundantly
in your own soul and in your work of faith and
labour of love to others, till He takes you that He
may be glorified in you for ever and ever! So prays
your sister in Him,
" ADELAIDE L. NEWTON.
"I have a very good hope of poor M. W.'Be
not faithless, but believing.''He willeth not the
death of a sinner."'
And to another of them, she writes:
"SHRUBLANDS, D C. 2, 1848.
"MY DEAREST G   -,
"I was so thankfll to get your note the other day:
I have been longing to write again. If anything
connected with myself could have been more truly
refreshing to a sometimes weary, faint-hearted pilgrim
than another, it was the tidings of God's having
owned and accepted one of my tiny tracts. May I
have grace to render Him the glory due unto His
name, remembering that I am but the earthen vessel
which contains what He puts in and sends forth
through me of His own life-giving Spirit!
"I cannot tell you how thankful I am, too, for
you. You may not be enjoying the happiest frames
of mind, but you are indeed a vessel hung upon the
nail in a sure place. You cling to Him even the
more because you find rest nowhere else-not even
in [His work in you. You are like the Bride in
Canticles, crying out,'None but Christ-none but
Christ.' The very threshold of His house is a delight




124    MEMOIR  OF- A. L. NEWTON.
to your panting soul, and you love to tread His courts.
Ah! dearest G,.these are sure, very sure pledges;
they are actual earnests and foretastes of a delight as
far exceeding what you now feel as the heavenly
sanctuary, the house not made with hands, shall exceed the glory of His earthly courts.
"This longing after Him  sometimes seems to me
even more blessed in reality (though less enjoyable
at the time) than the enjoyment of Him. What do
you think? I have felt it so exceedingly strong at
night lately, having had a long succession of very
sleepless nights, an intense longing to know God,
which nothing seems to satisfy. Believing' that He
is' does not seem half enough; I want more, and yet
I don't know what. I dare say it is longing after
what I must die to know. And I don't feel as if this
were wrong, though I more and more believe that
wishing to die is wrong. It is a child fancying it
knows better what would promote its happiness and
welfare than its parent 1 But we must learn our lessons in God's way of them. We cannot teach one
another, though He often uses us as the instruments
of His teaching.
" But I see every day that telling other people what
I have learnt is useless, unless God is telling them
what He means them to hear through me: so that,
after all, secretly asking His blessing is the secret of
everything.
" I greatly enjoyed some hours at M   - last Saturday. -- seemed fuller of heaven than ever. We
both talked and seemed to feel we were here as pil



HOME -CORRESP ONDEN  E.            125
grims, and enjoying a little intercourse by the way;
whilst it did really feel like way-side talk, and nothing more. God is teaching me to do without -
even here; and I feel that it is to make me rest on'unseen' things and not seen.
" I am glad you got occasional talks with -
Her very disagreeableness to me by nature made our
love to Jesus more manifestly the only tie that bound
us together: it gave a reality to the friendship, which
I liked. How mysterious the simplicity of faith is!
and how immense the privileges it opens to us!
Literally everything that Christ is and has, because
we are literally made to belong to Him-to be part
of Him!  Dear G, what more can I say? 
The thoughts are too vast, too immense, to be
grasped by my poor finite mind. May the Spirit,
in teaching the deep things of God, reveal them to
us as we are able to bear it from day to day. So
prays your fond
C ADI)DY.!
And again, on Dec. 28: " What a word that is in
Luke xii. 12,'It is not you that speak, but the Holy
Ghost!' This is very sweet, indeed, in connexion
with John iii. 34,'For God giveth not the Spirit by
measure.' So that everything depends on the indwelling, and on the measure of this indwelling, of
the Holy Spirit in us.' Be filled with the Spirit:' —
is not that a nice New-year's-day text? And with
it, for our comfort in every feeling of coldness and
deadness and lukewarmness-'It is the Spirit that
11*




126      IE MOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
quickeneth.'  He quickeneth us, and quickeneth
others through us. May God abundantly bless all
your seed sown, dearest N, and give you a
harvest of many sheaves!"
And to the other sister, of same date: "I am
sorely tried: you don't know what it costs me sometimes. I am positively amazed at that power of God
which carries me through it all. It calms me to that
degree that I cannot be agitated, if I may use such
an expression.  Oh! it is wonderful! it is so realso divine! Let me send you Phil. iii. 7 —14; it is
what we feel, especially as we begin to come under
the near influence of a ray of light from the heavenly
city. Then, indeed, may all things else be counted
as loss and as dung, as the beautiful lines of a hymn
say"'All things, beside, which charm the sight,
Are shadows tipt with glow-worm light.'
B. sends those four words in Ex. iii. 7,' I know their
sorrows.' I will add Phil. iv. 19,' Even His riches in
glory by Christ Jesus."'
A snare to which her peculiar habit of mind exposed her, was a tendency to occupy her thoughts
unduly with the mysterious side of God's procedure.
Her searching intellect was ever sounding depths
which it is not given to man to fathom; and the pain
of failure was at times almost overwhelmning.  " To
own the truth to you," she writes on Jan. 19 (1849),
" I have been trying lately rather to lay aside all difficult subjects in Scripture-study, from the conviction




CHRIST, NOT SELF.                12.7
that I was studying them intellectually rather than
spiritually. Perhaps, it is a danger few are so much
exposed to; but, having so much time to spend mentally, I am in great danger, I am sure, of falling into
this snare. And though I feel that this may be given
to me as a time for laying up knowledge which may
hereafter be called into practical use, I still think and
feel that'knowledge puffeth up,' while' charity' alone'edifieth.' God has been very good to me in calling
forth my energies in many practical ways lately,
which, though less pleasant to my nature, I am sure
has been necessary for me."
"If a man is to find life," says Vinet again, " he
must find it elsewhere than in a deceitful and sterile
view of himself. A look, a simple look (I mean not
an argument, a study, a toil)-a simple look converts."  And the same look daily renewed, renews
the heart's brave purpose. "If you will allow me
for once to say what I think," she writes on Feb. 2
(1849), to one who was "distressing herself about
her hardness of heart," "you will find the greatest
possible help in studying the character of CHRIST,
not your own. Read the Gospels, to trace out-in
every miracle, and word, and act, and touch, and in
every step of the path He trod  what was His character, and how it developed itself; and I think, with
the Spirit's help, you will forget your walk in thinking of His, and your emptiness in His fulness; and
thus, by beholding as in a glass the glory of the
Lord, you will be changed into the same image, from
glory to glory, even as by the Lord the Spirit. I do




128     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
think that Satan hinders Christians more by discouraoing them with showing them  their perpetual
shortcomings and failures, and their sad want of conformity to Jesus, with all its sad results, than in any
other way; and I cannot help feeling strongly that,
in urging self-examination in the way so many good
clergymen do, they really aid the mischief. I like
what M'Cheyne said,'For every look at yourself,
take ten looks at Christ;' only I would double and
treble it, and almost say, Never look at self at all."
And the intense "looker" is the earnest worker.
" Looking," says Vinet, "alone can give to action,
not that feverish vivacity which our passions will
always give in abundance, but that beauty which
passion can never give."  And Adelaide writes: "I
believe that it is when we are most occupied with
CHRIST that we are most useful to others, however
unconscious we may be of it, and however conscious
we may then be (as, of course, we shall be more than
ever) of our unlikeness to Him. Did you ever notice
this in Canticles?  It was when the Bride was
pining after Christ and not realizing the happy sense
of His presence (chap. v. 9), that, in telling what
she was in search of, she regained her own happiness,
and excited in others the desire to seek Him too.
(Chap. v. 10-16; and vi. 1.) This is most encouraging to me."
And she adds: "Oh! I love to see how God is
using you, dear L, and how your'faith is working by love.' How unspeakably good He is to us, to
give us hearts willing to'occupy' for Him while He




THE TALENTS.                129
is away! VWill it not be delightful, when He comes
again to have so traded with our' talents,' that we
can point to one and another who heard of Him
through us, and cast our crowns (richly set with
many jewels) before His feet, to whom we shall
glory in yielding up all the glory we have gained?"
As the spring came on, her health again was
shaken. "Yesterday," she writes, on February 2,
(1849), "I really could do nothing, having been
awake almost the whole night through, hearing every
hour strike, except from two till four, and being quite
done up. I am  quite surprised my cough could
have got so bad so soon. But enough of'things
seen and temporal,''passing away!'  Oh! for a
mind to dwell only on eternal realities! I so often
think of that line,
"' The strong He'11 strongly try.'
What a comfort, that He who tries us is He who
knows our strength!  I was so pleased with a
thought of's the other day, that God sends His
children many a storm to dash them on the Rock,
that they may find out its firmness, security, and
elevation."
We may be occupied about God, and not be occupied with God. Watching against this peril, Adelaide writes, on February 21: "I am doing texts
for —-—, on the love of God; but I am in such
danger of doing it all intellectually, that I often feel
afraid to go on. Do you ever feel it? It seems so
easy to like to be occupied with religious things, and




130    MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
to follow out a train of thought on these wonderful
subjects, and yet not to get nearer Jesus by it.' A
broken and a contrite heart, 0 God, thou wilt not
despise,' has been my text lately; and my uppermost
desire has been, to be able to feel like a child coming
to its father, as in Gal. iv. 6, 7. Is it not amazing
to have' the Spirit of His Son' in our hearts? Oh,
how holy we ought to be, and how Christ-like in
all things-the life which acts in us being God's own
Spirit moving about these earthen vessels to do His
work!" -
Payson once wrote to a friend thus: "A MAN now
fills thethrone of heaven. And who is this man?
Mark it well-it is a man who is not ashamed to call
you' brother.' You may not now know what He is
doing with you; but you shall know hereafter-you
shall see the reason of all the trials and temptations,
the dark and comfortless hours, the long and tedious
conflicts-and you will be convinced that not a sigh,
not a tear, not a single uneasy thought, was allotted
to you without a wise and gracious design."  Payson
had learned this lesson, not out of books or fromu the
lips of men, but through the things which he himself had suffered. And Adelaide Newton was learning the same lesson by the same personal discipline.
"However my wishes and feelings," she says, " may
vary with the fluctuations of bodily disease, my chief
and highest desire is, that He should have His own
way with me-prolonging life, or snapping it asunder, or doing what slhall most promote His glory, in
whatever way He pleases, in His soverign wisdom




PERFECT WORK OF GOD.               131
and love.'Oh, for a deeper entrance,' dear M[-,'into His heart of love!' as a very, very dear young
friend, at this moment dangerously ill upstairs, said
to me lately. God has been doing it all; and, trying as I own I have felt it, I would not have one
link in the chain broken."
"It has been such a strong feeling with me lately,"
she continues, "when thinking very much of the
sorrows of others and wishing sometimes the removal
of their trials, that we little thinlk what we are doing
when we begin to wish to have anything changed in
any degree from what it is. How we should mar
the perfect work and plans of God if we hindered
one thing from happening at the precise time and
in the particular way in which God hbath purposed
it! and how, as partakers of the mind of Christ
through the indwelling of the Spirit, we should
shrink from the very idea of a flaw in God's works!
Yet don't you think our rebellious feelings, when
He crosses our inclinations, all tend to this in
reality?"
And she adds: " These few hints of what is passing in my mind will tell you how to pray for me;
and that is what I care for above everything else.
Desires of the heart, and inward groanings of the
spirit, and weariness of sin, and pantings after holiness-are all open to the eye of Him who dwells in
His upper sanctuary, but hears'the groanings of
the prisoner.'  How full of comfort to know that
muttered desires and groans are beard! Plead my
cause at the very highest of all courts, because you




132    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
are one who has' access to the holiest by the blood
of Jesus.' Oh, may you have sweet communings
with Him, when you take up my cause for Him to
plead with His Father!  I hope you enjoy sweet
fellowship with Him. We shall uninterruptedly
hereafter."
The "very dear young fiend upstairs," alluded to
above, was soon afterwards taken. "The death of
dear B     C —   last night," she writes, on March
1 (1849), "has so pre-occupied my mind, that I
scarcely feel able to turn it back to other thoughts
again. A more perfectly peaceful'falling asleep in
Jesus' could hardly be; and all the circumstances
attending it have been so full of love, that even poor
----'s first words were,' Bless the Lord, 0 my soul;
and all that is within me, bless His holy name!'
Dr. —'s kindness, too, has been so great; and his
way of directing one's mind to look entirely beyond
all that which is painful to the realities of unseen
things, has seemed altogether to make it (I might
almost say) only a fresh instance of displaying to us
what GoD is."
And to another, two days later: "Instead of grieving over dear B's death, I feel most deeply
thankful to have witnessed it, and to have had such
a proof of the reality of my religion. Oh, it is such
a real thing to be trusting in Christ, and to feel that
we are alive in Him, not in our own bodies, which
are mortal! Dear -, too, is so supported by the
same reality; it is falling back upon God, the living
God-is it not? But my thoughts are too large to




CHRIST A FOUNTAIN OF LIFE. 133
express on paper, or even in words. I seem quite
lost in such immensity."
Henry Martyn, in a season of sore trial, wrote in
hYs diary this entry: " My dear Redeemer is a fountain of life to my soul. With resignation and peace
can I look forward to a life of labour and entire
seclusion from earthly comforts, while Jesus thus
stands near me, changing me into His own image."
Adelaide Newton was realizing, amidst her increasing trials, the joy of the same fellowship. "It is so
strange," she writes to a friend, on March 8, "to
contrast the scenes of gaiety and of sorrow this
world is so full of: if you had all been at the concert, we were in the midst of death! And yet,
"'Although the world may think it strange,'
most truly could we have affirmed,
"'We would not with the world exchange.'
I have so exceedingly enjoyed of late Gal. iv. 5-7.
The thought of our having the Spirit of Jesus, as
the Spirit of Life which actuates us, seems so wonderful! I like so very much to think of the Spirit
as the breath of Christ's body —that very body of
which He is the Head and we are the members!
Tell -   how very thankful I am that he should be
at work in the Lord's vineyard. HEe won't understand Solomon's Song, viii. 8, or I would add,' Those
that keep the fruit must have two hundred.' You
can take it, though, for yourself; and so canHow God is making you both'grow up into Christ!
12




134     MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
And we can bless Him for the clouds which break
in showers to water our thirsty souls."
It is recorded of the martyr Ridley, that on earth
he lived so near heaven, that, when he died, he had
not far to go. Dear Adelaide seemed in spirit to be
drawing nearer and nearer her home.  "Happy girl,
to be gone before!" she writes, on March 12 (1849),
alluding to the death of B —, " younger than myself by some months, and younger, I should think,
too, in spiritual life, and yet more matured and more
ripe for glory! But I can use the language of the
Great Forerunner, and say,'Yet a little while,' and
we shall see each other, because I, too,'go to the
Father.' Anything so intense as the longings I have
felt lately to see Him and be'satisfied with His likeness,' I have scarcely believed could be anything but
the desire put into my heart for what God was
intending to give."
Christ's PERSON was more and more realized by
her as the centre of all her hopes and joys. " The
object of Christianity," says Vinet, "is not an abstract truth. It is a fact, a person, Jesus Christ,
Jesus Christ crucified. We believe not in Christianity, but in Jesus Christ. Every Christian act done
in the world, is done, not by Christianity (which is
itself only an effect), but by Jesus Christ.  The relations which we bear as Christians are not intellectual
relations-relations between our mind and a truth,
but relations between person and person-relations
between us men and Jesus Christ, both man and
God.  The object of our faith is invisible, but not




THE DEALINGS OF GOD.               135
impersonal. He is not seen with the eye of flesh,
but nevertheless He is seen. We do not converse
with Him as with an idea-that is to say, in substance with ourselves, but as with a Being who is
with us even to the end of the world." Dear Adelaide found this reality to be daily growing more real.
"I don't know whether others feel it," she writes,
"but it seems to me that we so little realize the
Person of the Saviour. We think and talk of doctrines, but they are not CHRIST. Oh, what a wonderful depth there is in those three words-' Thou IN
ME'- the Father embodied in the Son! And then,
to add to this, the taking of us into union-into oneness —with both!  1Oh i is it not amazing?"
And, writing, on March 15, to one who, like herself, was sorely tried, she says: "How marvellous
the dealings of God are! How He brings us at
times into the depths, that we may know by experience that He is the high and lofty One!'The rock
that is higher than I.' G — said your thoughts
were too high and too large for others to understand.
It is quite remarkable how  exactly I have been
feeling the same thing lately; but I have thought it
has perhaps been in answer to the cry which has
been so uppermost with me, ever since Christmas, for'a broken and a contrite spirit.' I cannot tell you
how low I seem to have been brought; but last
night I was exceedingly comforted by Ps. lxxiii.
21-23.  The'nevertheless' there seemed so very,
very precious, in spite of all our ignorance; and I
was so pleased to find the pricking at the heart so




136    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
exactly expressed.  How  well God knew  every
thought and feeling which could ever oppress us,
when He caused that precious Book of Inspiration
to be written for our comfort! Does not Ps. cxxxix.
6 also express what you feel?-and don't you like
Matt. xi. 25,'Revealed unto babes?' I am writing
quite at random, not knowing whether such thoughts
may at all fall in with yours; but, at all events, we
must have one meeting-place, and that is, the Person
of our adorable Redeemer! Oh, to be able to have
our eye fixed on Him!"
A month later, she writes to one of her sisters
thus:
" TORQUAY, APRIL 19, 1849.
"MY DEAREST N -,
"I am so glad to-day to be able to send you a
line. I hope you have not thought me unkind, for
I really have not felt able to write. I have been
passing through very real trial lately, and very painful-learning so keenly the bitterness of creature-disappointment; and yet, if I will lean on idols, what
else can I expect? Rather, let me tell you what I
really do feel to be ground for thankfulness: that
God has made me feel quite thankful to learn my
folly and to be disappointed in the midst of what
must, without His teaching and His restraining grace,
have filled me with bitter complaing. I will tell you
more about it (D. v.) when we meet.
"These wilderness-lessons are sweet, amidst all
their bitterness, when they show us that we are
thereby made to come up out of the wilderness,




BARREN  AND WITHERED.             137
leaning more and more exclusively on our Beloved.
To our shame be it spoken, that we should slight His
all-sufficiency by leaning at any time on any other
arm. O! how we do dishonour Jesus!
"I like' Tekel' very much, and bought two copies.
How sweetly it shows us how'bold we may stand in
the great day' with Jesus on our side!
" I hope you have not been much bored with -.
I think it is so difficult to be unselfish in religion,
and to be willing to speak and act for God in the way
and with the people He chooses, and not ourselves.
0! may we be guided rightly in all we think, say,
or do!
"Make yourself quite happy about old.-; it is
our privilege to pray for him (Matt. x. 42). I am
sure I ought to feel this; for -     says, in a letter I
had lately from him, that. he thanks me for sending
such cups of water to his thirsty soul, in the tiny
notes I have written him: so God, indeed, chooses
weak and base things, that the excellency may all be
His! I think the time is very short. O! to be kept
blameless till we see Him come!
" Yours in Him, A. L. N."
And again, on having been at the Lord's table:
"Only think of my having been down, this morning,
to Trinity, for the early Sacrament (of course, with.out leave)! I have really felt lately so' barren and
withered' a branch of the Vine, that I resolved, if
God threw no obstacles in my way to show me I was
wrong, I would for once rush into His courts and
12*




138     MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
get at least a glimpse of Jesus through the latticework of the ordinances; and I hope I did, in spite of
all the bodily feelings which sadly hindered the up
ward flight of the Spirit after a risen Jesus, which I
ardently longed for. 0! when shall we rise too?
"Both the last times I have shared this sacred
feast, it was chiefly the connecting the outward signs
of the bread and wine with the absolute reality of
the things signified being now in glory, which occupied and comforted me: Jesus clothed in that very
body and blood still. It leads one's thoughts to Him.
My Good-Friday text struck me very much in the
same way-' Who His own self bare our sins in His
own body.' How strong the words are-are they
not? And then to think that we are the members
which form that body (in another sense), adds another
wonderful thought too."
Another thought, suggested by the same occasion,
she gives elsewhere: " This do in remembrance
of me.'  There is a volume of thought suggested
by the extreme simplicity of these words-' Remember me.''Behold my hands and my feet,
that it is I myself; handle me and see,' were the
words of Jesus while still on earth. Now, he says,' Do this' (i.e., eat the bread and drink the wine,
which are the outward signs of the body and blood
of Christ)' in remembrance of me.' Don't forget my
Body; remember it still, all the while I am away,
till I come again! Where, then, is the body of
Jesus now l Thither let the eye of faith be turned,
whilst feeding on these outward remembrancers of




LOVEST THOU  ME.               139
it. Think not only how Jesus has once died, but,'rather,' how He now lives! It is Jesus' as He is,
that He bids us remember, to our great and endless
comfort."
Her sojourn in Torquay was now drawing to a
close.  "I am glad," we find her writing, in reference to her intended departure, "to solve every
difficulty and bury every anxiety in the certain assurance that I am best wherever God sends me. I
mean to waste no more time over the body, further
than simply to tell you that Dr. -- expressed
thankfulness and surprise that my illness had made
so little progress. I am often very thankful that it
is such slow work in my case; for I am certain I
shall be, with God's blessing, an eternal gainer. I
begin to feel it sweet to have even life to ofler and
devote to Him, though I hope I shall never be unwilling to lay down a body of sin. To depart and
be with Christ must always be'far better.' Thank
you, a thousand times, for the paper on John xx.
and xxi.; it was peculiarly a word in season. Truly,
a risen Jesus would not have us selfishly seeking the enjoyment even of His own society, so much
as to be proving the reality of our love in real
devotedness to Him. What a test it was to Peter,
when'Lovest thou me?' was followed up by'Feed my sheep'-not by'Come and lay down
your life, that you may be with me.' I think this
is very, very strong, when we remember how shortly
before Peter was wishing to die that He might follow Jesus."




140    MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
And she adds: "I meant to indulge in sending
you some of the thoughts I have been greatly enjoying to-day on the Transfiguration, but I must not
send more than one. Did it ever strike you? Peter
desired prolonged intercourse with Moses and Elias;
but'a cloud overshadowed them' (put them into the
shade), and a voice out of it said,' ear Him,' to
make Jesus the prominent One; and they then found
themselves left alone with Jesus!"
Looking back upon the way by which she had
been led that season, she writes, April 19 (1849):
" I have been thinking so much lately of those words'Count it all joy when ye fall into divers trials,' &c.
Mine have been very varied this winter; and sometimes the variety and the prolongation of them seem
to induce a spirit of'heaviness.' (1 Pet. i. 6, 7.) But
we are going onward through the wilderness; and it
is a grand and wonderful thing so to be brought
through it as to be willing to be, more and more,
bereft of every stay, that at length we may come up
out of it, leaning on our Beloved alone! We shall
be very anxious for further tidings of your dear
brothers. Don't you think God often stirs up the
prayers of His people for any one particular object
of His mercy, by some trouble which attracts all eyes
to centre on that one person for a time? I believe
this is often the secret of the showers of blessing
which follow such afflictive dispensations. May it be
so abundantly in this instance! and, if it be His holy
will, may both brothers be given back to you, even
in this life, as Lazarus was to his sisters, though, after




A RETROSPECT.                  141
all, it can be but for a season! I am sure we get to
feel, more and more, that we cannot wish or ask for
any such things unconditionally; but, in holy submission, it is our privilege to breathe out every wish
into our Father's ear, and He delights to answer, and
even to do for us far more exceeding abundantly than
ever we ask."
She left Torquay finally in May (1849). "A delightsome land it had proved to be," writes her sister,
who was with her; " not only because a measure of
health had been one result from our sojourn in it, but,
most especially, on account of Dr.'s spiritual
watchfulness over his beloved patient. His communings with her were what she valued above everything
else." But she rejoiced to follow the Lord's leading.
"'He fed them,"'" she herself writes, indicating to a
friend where her feet stood so firmly, "' according to
the integrity of His heart, and guided them by the
skilfulness of His hand.' His heart, His hands, His
integrity, His skilfulness! it is according to this
measure we are fed and guided.' Fed' implies the
whole pastoral care of a shepherd; and all this care
God takes of us, according to the integrity or perfectness of His heart! What surer provision could be
made for us?"
"The Lord's my Shepherd, I'1I not want;
He makes me down to lie
In pastures green; He leadeth me
The quiet waters by.




142     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
" My soul lie doth restore again,
And me to walk doth make
Within the paths of righteousness,
Ev'n for His own name's sake."




CHAPTER X.
ADELAIDE reached home once more in May (1849),
not again to leave it until she should reach her home
in the heavens.
In her Diary she writes: "NVay 12.'Therefore,
with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation.' How precious the sources of our joy are!
Not summer or winter streams, but WELLS! May
we not say of Jesus-' The well is deep?'"  "May
15. Greatly enjoyed Deut. vii. 20, as an answer to
the prayer,' Cleanse thou me from  secret faults.'"
"May 16. Thought very much of the comfort of
knowing that God accounts our litttle span of life'long-suffering,' and that He should so appreciate
our difficulty as to taking it joyfully, as to apportion
such strength for the need. (Col. i. 11.)"  "Nray 19.'Tarry ye here and watch.''Lord, grant that I may
act thus, whilst thou art interceding for me in yonder
heavens within the veil 1" "June 3. Trinity Sunday.' Your life is hid with Christ in God;' a very sweet
Trinity text, connecting the thought of the quickening Spirit with our' life.'"
Elsewhere, in the Diary, she writes: "Received
the Lord's Supper, to offer and present myself, body




144    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
soul, and spirit, to be a reasonable, holy, and lively
sacrifice to Him who died for me!" And again:
"Bodily exhaustion seemed to hinder spiritual perception all day; but I could'cling to Christ."'
And, another day:'"Spent the whole Sabbath at
home, but fed upon the WORD." And another:
"Enjoyed Rom. viii. 34, with v. 10; the emphasis
laid on the resurrection of Him  who is our life."
And another: "'I have prayed for thee, that thy
faith fail not.' There is something very precious in
knowing that Christ has prayed for us, even before
we know our danger."
Her letter-writing, like all her other engagements,
continued to be consecrated to God. " I always feel
the interchange of Bible thoughts," she says, on
May 26 (1849), indicating her method of serving the
Lord in this employment, " a kind of letter-writing,
which cannot be classed as waste of time or as a
frivolous pursuit.  May I look to you now and then,
for a word in this way, to help me on'in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour?' I have been thinking very much of the real test it is of love to Jesus,
when the enjoyment of Christian friends, meeting together to talk of the things they love best, is broken
up that each may be sent forth as a messenger to
others, to tell sinners of the living'WAY.' Jesus,
after His resurrection, tarried not to indulge the fond
affections of His people, but, rather, just showed
Himself to them, and then sent them forth to do His
bidding: For example, Mary-'Touch me not, but
go to my brethren, and tell them,' &c.; or, the dis



A TEST.                  145
ciples-' As my Father hath sent me, even so send
I you;' or, Peter-' Feed my sheep.' In no case did
Jesus stay to converse with them for mutual enjoyment, but would have them engaged in telling'"'To sinners round,
What a dear Saviour they had found.'
And, hard as it may sometimes be to tarry here
willingly, even for such a purpose, we certainly may
well be content, if Jesus gives to us first, and then
tells us to distribute to the multitude."
With a rare naivete, we find her indicating, in allusion to a friend's intended marriage, a characteristic
feature of her own heart, thus (June 8, 1849): "I
hope they may help each other to give themselves
first unto the Lord: but I own I often look on and
wonder and adore, when I think of the way by which
I have been led; for, had I had a husband to please,
I believe I should just have plunged into love in that'out and out' way which would have made the
words,'She that is married careth how she may
please her husband,' apply, with more than ordinary
force to me. I know that my heart knits so closely
to those I dearly love, that it is not without reason
that I have been hindered from setting my affections
on an earthly object, but allowed One, in human form,
on whom I may legitimately indulge in centering them
all, and that, too, without fear of disappointment!"
And, with a chastened delicacy, she adds: This
natural feature in my character betrays itself in my
peculiar love for, and enjoyment in Canticles; for
13




146    MEM OIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
there is, perhaps, no character in which I so love to
think of Jesus, as He who has given Himself to His
Bride, loving her even more than she can love Him,
and allowing her that closest of all kinds of intercourse which else could not have been known. Is it
not a sad, sad proof of our fallen state, that the very
ordinance which God appointed to shadow forth this
is so often the one which, more than any other,
draws off our hearts from Him a."
Vinet writes: " How  difficult, while enjoying
external peace, to keep awake! What exertion is
necessary to move forward on a sea whose waters
have been rendered heavy as lead by a fatal calm!"
Tasting this reality, Adelaide writes, June 14 (1849):
"How thankful it made me to find that you had
got the peace inwardly, amidst your sufferings, which
I got so exactly in the same way! I never was so
happy before, as when I was so ill, I have found
even my partially restored health bring with it many
new and painful trials and conflicts, and could sometimes almost prefer the bodily pain. But, oh! if we
can but choose nothing for ourselves, and calmly accept the needed discipline in the form and under the
circumstances God chooses for us, happy are we 1"
And to another, on June 23: "I hope you will
write to me soon-though, if you have very little
time to spare for me, I would sooner ask you to use
it in prayer. I do so want quickening! I can get
plenty of ideas, and am strong enough to study and
think just now; but is it not worse than nothing, if
one finds pleasure in these intellectual enjoyments,




it KNOWING-'X AND 6 FEED ING. 7   147
short of Christ? Are you able to get into real, close
communion with Him  at present?  If so, do take
me with you into the Holiest. I really am afraid to
indulge my pleasure in'knowing,' lest it interfere
with simple'feeding.' Still, I do believe God is
leading me onwards and upwards in His own way;
and it is well to be humbled."
In the same letter, she adds: " I am a good deal
stronger; but I fancy my chest retrogrades, from a
few bad symptoms.  But th;y may be only temporary. I don't know. May I only ripen for glory!"
And, on June 26 (1849), she addresses another
friend thus: "I hope you are enjoying the'strong
meat' of the NWord: this is one of the precious privileges belonging to those who, through a longer
sojourn in Mesech,' have had their senses exercised.'
Is not that a strong word?  I am so fond of it in
Heb. xii. 11, the fruit of righteousness being one of
the gains to be reaped from being exercised by
chastenings!'Exercised thereby.'  Oh! it speaks
volumes; it tells of days, and weeks, and months,
and years, it may be, of inward conflict and outward
trials, exercising us; and not in vain, for the peaceable fruit of righteousness shall be reaped in due
time.  So let us comfort one another with these
precious words, dear M-, counting it still all joy
when we fall into divers trials, for the trying of our
faith worketh patience; and when patience has had
her perfect work, we shall be' vessels unto honour,'
to display throughout eternity the exceeding riches of
the grace and glory of Him who wrought it all in us!




148    MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
Milner, in his " Church History," writes: "To
believe, to suffer, and to love, was the primitive
taste."  Henry Martyn, in his Diary, says, that " no
uninspired sentence ever affected him so much."
Deal Adelaide was growing more and more in this
"taste."  " I can, in my little measure, sympathize
and weep with you," she writes, June 27. " I have
been so struck with Ps. xliii. 4, that I must tell you
about it. The expression which we render' God, my
exceeding joy,' is in the Hebrew,' God, the joy (or
gladness) of my joy' (as in the margin); and the
two Hebrew words have each their own specific
meaning-one signifying, properly, the throbbing, or
quick beating, or palpitating of the heart in joy;
and the other being a word of gesture (from the
root, to roll), and hence meaning a'joy which expresses itself in the gestures of the body, as in
leaping or jumping up and down for joy.' So that
the two together seem to imply the being pervaded
through and through with joyousness, from the
indwelling of that God who is Himself'our exceeding joy.' One can hardly find words to put such
thoughts into. I think Ps. xvi. 11 beautifully expresses it,' In Thy presence is fulness of joy.' And
did it ever strike you as rather remarkable, that
David should have used that expression about God,
at the very moment that he was complaining of
being'cast down?' It seems to me so comforting;
for it shows what our real portion is in Him, even
when we feel desolate, and cast down, and disquieted,
does it not?"




JOYOUSNESS.                  149
Her trials were giving her that tender sympathy
With fellow-pilgrims, which mere knowledge cannot
give. "It seems to knit my heart closer than ever
to you," she writes, "that we are both being made
to feel the gentle pressure of the hand in which we
are held. There are trials peculiar to illness, especially to protracted illness, which none can know but
fellow-sufferers under them."  And to another: " I
do, indeed, feel for your poor sister. Do send her
this text,' Strengthened with all might, according to
His glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness.' How blessed to think of the
end to which we are strengthened with such amazing
might! Not to do some great deed, or accomplish
some mighty act, but'unto all patience.' And not
only to the mere endurance of evils which we cannot escape, but' to all longsuffering with joyfulness.'"
HIer health this summer rather revived.  "I daresay G    - told you," she writes, July 15, " how well
I am just now. I am thankful, because it enables
me to write and speak for Jesus; and one word in a
letter may be a word in season. To be vessels of
mercy filled with the Spirit, so as to speak only as
He breathes through us, is indeed an honour. May
we both richly enjoy it during whatever time we
have still to sojourn here-be it years, months, or
days! And then to be vessels of glory! Oh! may
we not well rejoice with joy unspeakable, in prospect
of the glory which shall be revealed in us?  Rom.
viii. 18, with Eph. i. 17, 18."
13'




150     MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
The Christian self-reproach is oftentimes misunderstood.
Henry Martyn, for example, writes: "The pride
which I see dwelling in my heart, producing there
the most obstinate hardness, I can truly say my soul
abhors. I see it to be unreasonable, I feel it to be
tormenting."  But, almost with the same breath, he
adds: "I wish for no service but the service of God,
in labouring for souls on earth, and to do His will
in heaven."  Dwelling more " in the light," and realizing more vividly his heavenly calling, he is, even
whilst progressing in holiness, weighed down with a
growing sense of the unworthiness of his walk."
"I do feel so strongly," Adelaide writes, Aug.
13 (1849), "what you say of the need of'being
stirred up to do what we can.' It is marvellous we
can be such triflers on affairs of such moment! Do
you not find an increasing sense of calm confidence,
that all the horrible coldness, deaffiess, lifelessness,
which so characterize our walk with God-while
they hinder our enjoyment-still cannot affect our
safety? I fancy it is a thing only to be learnt by experience-and for this good reason, that, if we felt it
before our sense of sin had become deep and distressing to us, we might be careless about sin; but, in the
after-experience of the child of God, when he has
learned (or, rather, is learning) by habitual watchfulness to detect the little, hourly, secret sins which
cause him  such an aching heart, he learns, at the
same time, that, while the waves of corruption may
dash him back when he ought only to be flowing




THE ACHING  HEART.                 151
towards the shore, they still cannot make him lose
his hold of the Rock to which he is anchored. I
seem  to rest very much on such thoughts as these,
of late."
Another lesson experience was teaching her.
"Though I have the character of being very well,"
she writes, Aug. 14, "it is not without many days
and hours which weariness of mind and of body renders almost useless, except, indeed, so far as they are
part of that chastening whereby I am' exercised.' I
have thought very much lately of the gain it will be
to have lived a certain time after one's conversion, in
order to learn out the lessons one can never learn in
heaven.  I believe we shall all 6 meet the Lord' with
such varieties of feeling; —the young Christian with
the ardour and warmth of'first love,' but the matured believer with a depth and richness of attachment which would characterize, in its measure, the
meeting of old and long-tiied friends after prolonged
separation, and which others can never know. Don't
you think this is quite consistent with each having
the full share of happiness each is capable of? or do
you think it is taking earthliness of feeling too much
into heaven? I do think our light afflictions work
out a far more exceeding weight of glory."
Paul -peaks of the "'law in his members" warring
agi9'.~ "'Le " law of his mind."  A poet has written!
Jompulsion, from its destined course
The magnet may awhile detain;
But, when no more withheld by force,
It tremblts -to its north again:




152     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
Thus, though the idle world may hold
My fettered thoughts a while from Thee,
To Thee they spring, when uncontroll'd,
In all the warmth of liberty."
"I cannot tell you," Adelaide writes, "how I dread
worldliness of spirit returning on me.  Oh! how bitterly one has to learn the folly of wandering from the
side of Jesus, or rather, I would say, of grieving His
Holy Spirit; for that is what I believe Christians lose
by, strictly speaking. I think that is the source of
all our misery and unhappiness." And, referring to
various acts of service which she had been doing on
behalf of Ireland, and also of the Jews, she adds:
" One only longs for willing hearts to devote ourselves and our substance, our time and strength and
talents, to Him whose own purchased property they
are. I do long, as you say, just to live each moment
as if the opportunity might soon be gone."
A craving for an intenser fellowship of hearts than
earth affords, took a faster hold upon her day by
day.  "Your visits," she writes, Sept. 17 (1849),
"quite refreshed our old friendship, though they
were so brief.  There is something so essentially
binding and lasting in Christian love, that, wherever
it exists, fiiends are and must be friends, however seldom or often they may meet, till they meet for eternity.  No words can tell the delight I feel in every
such friendship-begun in the bud in time, to ripen
and bear fruit for ever.  Oh! for better communion!
We shall have it, when we have' patiently endured."'
A friend was taken away, and she writes: "I am




THE  MAGNET.                 153
left: pray that I may not be a cumberer, but a good
steward of time, health, and talents, still lent to me
to trade with.  It is quite remarkable how many
whom I loved are gone, and have left me behind,
more and more bereft of all but Jesus; but His fulness often fills my little earthen vessel to overflowing, and-but for sin within and without and all
around me-I should be happy indeed."
And to another: " I am truly sorry for you, in
one sense, for the loss of your dear baby; but surely
I must rejoice with you, too, if it is a treasure laid up
for you in heaven, and drawing your affections thither
also! Accept this tiny little book-will you? —as
saying what I like to say on that subject. I wrote it
just after dearest H   - B e. died. I have since
lost my most intimate friend; but I love to think of
her as a treasure there, and I feel how good it is for me
to be weaned from earthly objects of affection. Oh,
that we may all be found enthroned with Jesus in
glory —serving Him here, praising him there!"
Another bereavement drew forth her sympathies
thus: "I cannot think of your brother as buried in
the ocean of this world's sea, without much more
thinking of him as buried in the fathomless oceanfulness of the love of God throughout eternity.
While the earthly house of the tabernacle of clay
was sinking in the waters of time, the spirit of life
which inhabited that earthern vessel soared on high,
and winged its flight to those unmeasured heights of
the love of Christ which pass all knowledge, and into
which he has passed to all eternity. Oh, dear E —-—,




154    MEMOItR OF A. L. NEWTON.
may God in Jesus, by the abiding indwelling of the
Comforter, enable you to bury all your sorrows in the
depths of His sovereign love! Very many of those I
loved most are gone before me; and I find it such a
blessing to have my treasures laid up there instead
of here."
And she adds: "But I could not try to comfort
you under an affliction such as this, in any other way
than by speaking of Christ, who is Himself the embodiment of all the members, and in whom we shall
so soon all meet, to be for ever with Him. To think
of ourselves only as members of His body (so as to
forget ourselves as separate individuals, and think of
ourselves only as parts of a whole), or to think of
our trials and circumstances less in reference to ourselves, than as parts of God's perfect plan, are the
two great objects I try to aim after, and which I
think you will find most calming. It seems to put
man in his place, and God in His. But I am so
afraid of wounding where I would only wish to pour'the oil of joy,' that I shall not try to say more,
May He who is anointed to do it, give you all that'oil of joy!'"
As the winter approached, her health appeared to
suffer less than usual.  "I have not known what it
is to be as well for years," she writes, October 16
(1849).  "Even this severe cold does not hurt me;
but how long it may last, I know not. The character
of God is my grand subject this year. I have got it
in fifty-two points, with six texts on each; and it is
such a rock to rest upon! To see what God is, and




MEDITATI ON.                155
that He Is-an eternal present! Oh, it is wonderful,
and so precious, as contrasted with all the tossings
to and fro of frail man, even though he be a vessel
of mercy! The water in the bottle may be spent, but
not the water in the well." (Gen. xxi. 15-19.)
With that delicacy of touch which only one
dwelling in " the light" can attain, we find her handling a feature of the hidden life thus: " In regard to
meditation, forgive me if I say I think you are in
bondage about it. My idea of it is this, that it is a
thing one cannot set one's-self to as a prescribed
duty; nor do I think it is enjoined upon us as such
in Scripture. It is not within the reach of the newlyconverted soul, but belongs to those who, in studying
the precious Word of life, begin to see such beauties, and such heights, and depths, and lengths, and
breadths in Divine wonders, that, as they read, they
are constrained to pause, to wonder, to adore, to get
breathing time in which to admire the intensity of
the mysteries of Divine revelation. Thus St. Paul
seemed to give vent to his meditations in Rom. xi.
33, or in Rom. vii. 24, 25, on a quite different subject. Don't you agree to this? Old writers dwell
upon it till they put it almost in the place of a Saviour, just as more modern ones write of other parts
of Christian experience.  Cant. v. 10-16 is the
sublimest meditation I know of, and it came out of
the overflowings of a full heart, and not out of one
set about to meditate because meditation was'sweet'
and profitable. I think the way to arrive at meditation, is, to read the words and revealed thoughts of




156   MMEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
God, till you can't help it. Your own thoughts
become so full of it, that you meditate almost unconsciously.
"Would that I knew more of this most blessed
occupation!" she adds. " God grant that your letter
may stir me up to fresh enjoyment of it by leading
me more into those green pastures where (to use a
homely illustration) one may eat the grass, and then
chew the cud. I have kept up very well this summer
in my invalidish way, living almost entirely up-stairs,
and never once stirring beyond the garden. But I
have suffered very little to what I used to do, and
only long for grace to consecrate every energy of mind
and body to our Jesus. Humanly speaking, I may
live a great while longer in this sort of way. God
bless you, while you live and when you die,'and make
you a blessing.'"
And again, on Oct. 19: "What depths of grace
and of sin Christians have to learn out! The lower
I sink, the higher grace rises. Ps. xcviii. 1, with 1
Cor. xv. 57, have been an immense comfort to me,
GoD getting the victory by Himself and for Himself,
and then in free grace giving it to us, so that we
don't even conquer, but He does it all."
And to another, on Oct. 29: "Your gourd is
withered before your eyes; but'rejoice in the Lord,
and joy in the God of your salvation.' You will find
it an immense help to you in your spiritual advance
to have made the sacrifice to God, no matter in what
light the act may appear when viewed in reference
to other things. I have long felt, that in our fear of




EARN EST NE SS.              157
denying ourselves, or doing good works meritoriously,
we run into the opposite extreme of self-indulgence,
and of amusing ourselves with innocent worldly
pleasures aud doing nothing for God. How we need
to be kept in all these things, by the guidance of the
Spirit of truth, lest in one way or other we fall into
error!"
And she adds; " Oh! if one may but win one soul
to Jesus, it is worth the sacrifice of one's whole life
to do it; but I think we ought to expect to do a great
deal, seeing that all the power is God's and He only
wants to use us as a manufacturer sets his machine
in motion. The wheels and pins don't do the work,
and yet it is done by them. Is not that a strong expression,'They limited the Holy One of Israel?' I
will send you a splendid text-Luke v. 5, 6. It tells
volumes of man's impotence (hours of fruitless toil),
and God's omnipotence (working wonders in one
moment by one word)! Faith, too, is the instrument-' At thy word I will let down the net.' Why
don't we launch into the depths of God's love, and
enclose such blessings as would well-nigh break our
feeble'earthen vessels?' There are multitudes of
fishes in His ocean-fulness, which faith might catch!' Lord increase our faith!'"
Her life grew more and more intensely earnest, as
she hastened towards the mark. Writing to a bereaved friend, Nov. 16 (1849), she says: "Our
correspondence has sadly broken down; but I never
can keep one up only on one side-I never seem to
know what exactly to write about: and to write
14




158     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
about -anything appears more like the unprofitable
topics of conversation which too much occupy the
world, than like the earnest intercourse of fellow,
pilgrims to a better country; —above all, when, as is
the case with us, we are both warned so emphatically
by illness not to stop and play with flowers by the
way. But I have been really anxious to assure you
of my true sympathizing love under your late deep
trials. With all the fulness of sympathy which is
treasured up for us in Him on the way, and with
the bright prospect before us of a happy and joyful
re-union for ever in glory at the end, have not we
enough to change'the spirit of heaviness' into'a
garment of praise'?"
And a glimpse into her special experience at this
period follows: "I do get to feel so much more
every day, that nothing but the absolute, naked
reality of having God in Christ for my portion and
my everything, can satisfy me. I have been stripped
bare this summer of those happy feelings which I
used to enjoy so much, in order to be made to trust
God without them, and, even when walking in darkness, to be stayed upon my God.  (Isaiah 1. 10.)*
It has not made me unhappy, but it has emptied me
of any joy which belonged to myself, and has shown
me that the ouly true and abiding joy is in the Lord.
* Alluding to this subject in another letter, she says: "I
know I owe this very mainly to dear Mr. Gell's sermons
years ago, which the Holy Spirit was pleased to make use
of in laying a foundation which no subsequent trials or
stornis could shake."




COMING GLORY.                 159
" Habakkuk," she adds, "was set to learn this lesson by being stripped of his outward comforts and
reduced to poverty and distress-no meat from the
flock, no herd in the stall-nevertheless he could
say,' Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the
God of my salvation.' And David was set to learn
it by bitter disappointment in his friends-' My soul,
wait thou only upon GoD, for my expectation is from
HIM' (Ps. lxii.)-the whole Psalm showing how
from  rich and poor nothing could be expected in
this world. Oh! it is hard —very, very hard-to
learn this for one's-self, is it not? It has cost me
many a bitter hour; but in one way or another I
suppose we must each of us learn it. And I can't
help thinking that you and I are being taught ityou more in the way that Habakkuk was, and I
more in David's way; though every one has peculiarities belonging to their own peculiar characters
and circumstances, and giving a varied colouring to
their specific trials."
For a time it was intended that she should again
winter in Torquay.  " Though in most respects better," she writes on Nov. 17, "I feel conscious of the
existence of the underground workings of disease,
which others do not see. I have been quite in a
swoon whilst writing this letter; but I am better
again now, and wish to forget all these little things
as soon as they are past. They are but the circumstances of the way, and are unworthy of a thought
compared with the coming glory. Oh! that our
hearts may be more engrossed with that!  How




160    MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
near it may be to each of us! Come, Lord Jesus,
come quickly!"
And, on Dec. 5, she writes: "The cold has attacked me at last, and I have gradually been tumbling down each day this week. I am just waiting
for the pillar of cloud and fire to move first, and
make it plain whether I am to go or stay."  And a
fortnight later: "I am well enough to have great
expectations of staying at home altogether this winter, but God has given me to feel very willing to stay
or go as He points out for me. Things seem so much
more and more to me every day to be as though
they were inot: 1 Cor. vii. 29 —31 is perpetually on
my mind. I seem more to live upon God, less upon
feelings and experience."
Another affecting glimpse into her inner life occurs in the same letter: "I long to own to you,
dearest -—, though I have said it to no one else,
that I have the feeling of having learned so much of
such wonders of grace that I don't know what to say.
I'm sure I need keeping down; and I don't think I
can be thankful enough that the hungering, and
thirsting, and fainting state is mine, rather than the
fulness of happy joy which I once felt. That I may
be emptied and Christ exalted, self crushed, and Jesus set up-these are the things I seem most to want.
Only I cannot express it, even to you. Oh! the comfort-the intense comfort —of knowing that God
reads the secret thoughts of our hearts which we
cannot express! Still one wants to tell of His good



SEND ME.                   161
ness, and to make our boast in Him. But it is hard
to boast in Him, is it not?
"' I cannot make thy mercies known
But self-applause comes in 1' "
When Henry Martyn left England and all its
pleasant attractions, he " left it wholly for Christ's
sake," says his biographer, " and he left it for ever."
As he was on his voyage out, he wrote one day in
his Diary this entry: "Sept. 23. We are just to
the south of all Europe, and I bid adieu to it for
ever, without a wish of ever re-visiting it, and still
less with any desire of taking up my rest in the
strange land to which I am going." It is this spirit
of self-sacrifice which alone gives to the Church its
power. With it she is like Samson in his Nazarite
strength: without it she is Samson shorn of his
locks and grinding in prison.  "WTe are too prone
by far," writes Adelaide, Dec. 19 (1849), indicating
her impression of the Church's real condition, "to
cry out for'money-money,' and to be lamenting
that we can give so little, whilst the secret truth is,
that what God asks and expects iS-OURSELVES.' My son,' says God,' give me thine heart;' and well
did He know when he said that, that everything else
would follow. At the present day few offer themselves to work for God without being well paid for
it; and I begin to think we shall have to find that,
if missionary work is to be done, it must be done by
the sacrifice of ourselves.' Here am I, send ME.'"
At the close of the year she decided to remain at
14*




162     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
home. " God has made HIis way plain before me,"
she writes "' I never felt so willing to have it all
ordered for me before. I have strong indications
now and then that the'love-token' (as dear
galls it) is not taken away; but my duty is'patient
waiting.' Oh! do ask for quickening grace for me.
I hope you have enjoyed this Christmas in thoughts
of the great mystery of godliness."
Her own "Christmas thoughts" she records in her
Diary thus: "Most holy, holy, holy-holy God! we
thank Thee that unto us a Son is born —unto us a
Child is given; that the government shall be upon
His shoulders, and that of the increase of His government there shall be no end, upon the throne of David
and upon His kingdom, to oi'der it and to establish
it with judgment and with justice for ever; that a'day' is coming in which He shall be revealed as' King of kings, and Lord of lords,' when I-Is name
shall be on His vesture and on His thigh. Maay we
know Him as the Saviour by whom our sins are all
forgiven, and not only forgiven, but dethroned more
and more every day 1 May Thy grace be mighty to
subdue them all, that, not only in our spirits, but in
our bodies, we may glorify God, till at length we
come to realize more of the holy anticipations which
are set before us in the brighter scenes and nobler
society which we hope soon to join, in that countless
throng among whom we, too, would cast our crowns
before the throne, and before the Lamb who sitteth
upon the throne for ever and ever!"




CHAPTER XI.
THIS winter and spring (1850) were occupied with
her work on the SONG. "The demand for books at
the present day," she writes, on March 16, to a friend
who was publishing, "seems to me to make a wonderful opening for saying a word for Christ. And I
am always glad when any one writes on the Bible;
I think other books are only valuable in proportion
as they lead to it. You will be surprised when I tell
you that Nisbet has got an arrangement of texts of
mine on Canticles. It was my happy employment,
the two first years I was at Torquay, to find them
out; and I have since written them out, just connecting them together with a few words. The way has
been made so clear in regard to it, that I hope God
intends for me to be a silent messenger for Him in
that manner. It is a sweet subject; it is so full of
Christ, and lets one into so much of the feelings of
His heart towards His Church."
Henry Martyn once wrote in his Diary: "Read
Isaiah the rest of the evening; sometimes happy, and
at other times tired, and desiring to take up some
other religious book; but I saw it an important duty
to check this slighting of the Word of God." Dear




164     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
Adelaide found in the Word the very living manna
from heaven. "I believe I may say with truth," she
writes, "that some of the texts I sent you last have
been the language of my heart both night and day.' My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God; when
shall I come and appear before God?' May you find
the Lord's words an ever-deepening source of truest
enjoyment, opening fresh beauties to your astonished
gaze with every fresh discovery of the fading nature
of all that Solomon calls' vanity'!' And may you
ever have One present, as a Companion to whom you
can talk. without weariness or ennui in your most
lonely hours!"
Growing in meekness, she grew in calm repose of
spirit. "I do love all God's dealings with me," she
writes, "and would have none of them altered, if I
could.  My burden is only what every Christian
groans under-sin; and I know I shall never be rid
of it till this body of sin is entirely destroyed, and we
are altogether planted in the likeness of Christ's resurrection. Oh! will it not be wonderful to be a
body of glory, emitting light in every direction, and
dwelling in pure, essential light,' raised in power,' all
our present weakness and dishonour having passed
away, so that even Jesus shall be admired and glorified in us? And I have liked so much lately to
think how this bright ray of glory, instead of casting
a shadow upon everything here, rather sheds a beam
of light to gild our pathway heavenwards."
A birthday wish for a beloved sister she breathes
forth thus: "January 29, 1850. As a tree of right



HOUSEHOLD  OF GOD.                165
eousness planted in the garden of the Lord by His
own right hand, and as a branch of the trLe vine,
grafted into Jesus, may you be daily more and more' filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by
Jesus Christ to the glory and praise of God!' and
further still, may the precious promise be fulfilled in
you,'And her leaf shall be green!' (Jer. xvii. 7, 8.)
Even the smallest things about us should be full of
the sap of the Holy Spirit."
The " great cloud of witnesses" "declared plainly
that they sought a country." Not less plainly did
dear Adelaide " declare" to all around her where she
was going.  " The words,'household of God,'" she
writes, " have often struck me lately as beautifully
expressing the full realization of what is now only'the household of faith.' And when one strongly
feels the unsatisfactoriness of seeing'through a glass
darkly,' it is impossible not to long to launch into
the full blaze of light-in God, when all the members of the now scattered family shall for ever meet
in the'Father's House.' I don't think I ever knew
so well before what it is to be sensibly nearing the
port by every passing hour as I have done lately. It
is a real and precious truth, whether the time be
comparatively long or short; and it seems to help
me on wonderfully, though I have no idea whereabouts I am. It is sad and really painful to be a
child, and have so little of a child's feeling towards
such a Father. But if I am only humbled under it,
I believe it will magnify the exceeding riches of the
freeness of grace."




166     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
What joy and what strength we often lose by
being overcome of little trials! "In the midst of
plenty to try me," she writes, Jan. 11 (1850), "I
have been so quiet, that I can only say it shows what
6the peace of God' can do. It is not great troubles,
but constant, wearing annoyances, that I refer tolittle daily trials; but I don't feel them at all as I
used to do.'They shall not be ashamed that wait
for me.'"
The delicate organism  of the "new creature" she
realized with a growing sensitiveness.  "How very
precious His thoughts are," she writes, "when we
can at all enjoy'fellowship with the Father and with
His Son Jesus Christ!' and yet how easily-oh! I
can scarcely believe, and cannot tell you, how easily
-I let sin interrupt and hinder me from  coming
near before Him! But, if it surprises me, it is no
matter of surprise to Him who knew from the beginning what a transgressor I should be. Don't you
think this thought is one which gives us most confidence in God? If anything could happen which
He had not foreseen, it might change His mind towards us; but all His thoughts being to give us'an
expected end,' does seem so intensely to assure ouir
hearts before Him, does it not?"
In spite of an oppressive langour, incident to her
complaint at some of its stages, and, this spring, peculiarly trying, she laboured on at her work. " I have
lately been transcribing," she writes, Feb. 6 (1850),
" the whole of the texts on Solomon's Song. It seems
to be the way God has marked out for me to servo




HEIRS  o' GQD.               167
Him; and I desire from the heart, to say,'Thy will
be done.' Precious, indeed, is the privilege of serving such a Master in the humblest ways —whether in
passive waiting or in active serving. I often have
days on which I am all but good for nothing; but,
after all, these bodily fluctuations are but a small
thing.  How we ought to long for powers to serve
God perfectly! and yet, let patience have her perfect work first."
Vinet, speaking of "the look directed towards
Jesus," and contrasting it with "meditations and
discussions on free will, or assurance, or the connexion between faith and works, and even on the properties of faith"-all which, he says, "tend to occupy
us too much with ourselves, and give too strong a
hold to that vivacious self-interest which catches at
and clings to everything," remarks: "In proportion
as it is prolonged, it inspires our soul with a holy
enthusiasm, a holy love. It makes those dispositions
habitual and dominant in our heart.  It becomes at
once the light and the heat of our life. It facilitates,
simplifies, illumines all. It does better than refute
doubts, it absorbs them. In its brightness, all their
equivocal or false glimmerings are quenched."  Adelaide Newton, each new day, entered more deeply
into this momentous truth.  "The watchword I
chose for the new year," she writes, on Feb. 6 (1850),
" was-' Heirs of God.' I think we are too much
taken up, as Christians, with our Christian character
and duties, and -meditate far too little on our possessions and privileges.  GOD, and nothing less, is our




168    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
inheritance; for we are'joint-heirs with Christ.''Tis
true that it involves' if so be that we suffer with
HIim' now for a few days on the earth; but then it
is in fellowship with a risen Jesus, and it leads to
everlasting glory with Him hereafter. I send it you
to think of, and mvke your boast of: we may glory
in the Lord, you know!"
It was this peculiar characteristic of her Christian
life which gave such fragrance to her words. She
was ever herself dwelling in the light; and her aim,
in every letter and in every conversation, was to
bring others up with her into the same light. " Don't
you think," she writes to a friend, on Feb. 7 (1850),
" there is something very sweet in being comforted
and refreshed together by our'mutual faith?' I
have another most precious word from the mouth of
our God to send you-at least one that has been a
great comfort to me in giving me fresh courage
about dearest  ~, when I had begun to be very
desponding —' There is no restraint to the Lord:'
whether the outward circumstances be encouraging
or not, whether' with many or with few,' it is equally
easy to Him to save. And there is one thought
which I have enjoyed resting upon, in connexion
with these circumstances, very much lately, viz.,
that what Omniscient love has proposed, Omnipotent
love will bring to pass. What a Rock that is to fall
back upon, when the waves of affliction toss one to
and fro!"
" I enclose," she continues, "some very sweet texts
for you. Two, particularly, have struck me very




PRAYING FOR GOD'S GLORY.    169
much.  One was, when Jesus was praying in the
garden for the removal (three times over) of His
bitter cup (not composed of one thorn, like St.
Paul's, but of a crown of thorns, &c.), instead of
His request being granted, He only seemed to get
the same answer St. Paul got-" My grace is sufficient for thee.''There appeared an angel fromt
heaven strengthening Him.' I thought it was very
strengthening to us, in similar circumstances of prolonged trial, to be brought into such evident fellowship with Jesus in HIis sufferings.' I of this cup am drinking,
To be conformed to thee.'
The other text was in the 12th of St. John; the remarkable contrast between those two little prayers
of Christ's-' Father, save Me from  this hour;' and,'Father, glorify Thy name.' The first prayer for
His own deliverance from trial He Himself seemed
to negative-' but for this cause came I unto this
hour; whilst the second prayer, for God's glory,
was immediately answered by the voice from heaven.
Does it not teach us a very sweet lesson about
prayer, at the same time affording the precious
evidence that prayer for deliverance from the hour
of trial is' Christ-like'-only it is swallowed up in
the yet dearer object to a Christian's heart, his
Father's glory? It is so blessed to know that we are
praying as Christ prayed."
"Oh! I cannot tell you," she adds, " how I feel for
all the aggravating circumstances of trial which press
15




170    MEMOIR  OF A. L. NE tVTON.
on you just now; but'everlasting arms' are upholding you, and I know it is love appoints it all.
What a depth of unutterably precious meaning is
enfolded in that one word-' God is love!' I was
thinking of the words,'I will be to you a God,' this
afternoon, in the sense of a God of love-' I will be
to you Love.' Don't you think it throws a glowing
tint, as it were, over all His dealings with us? The
words you once gave me —' Thy righteousness is like
the great mountains, and Thy judgments are a great
deep'-have been helping me to think of the heights
and depths of the love of Christ lately; for everything God does, seenms to be swallowed up in love.
On another occasion, taking up those words, " Our
days on the earth are as a shadow, and there is none
abiding," she says:-" It struck me as full of meaning, when our years are counted by days, as they are
in Scripture —' The days of our years are threescore
years and ten.' It really seems more consistent with
the pilgrim character to reckon by days, does it not 8
(Jamrnes iv. 13, 14, 15.)' Here have we no continuing
city, but we seek one to come'-' a better country'
(or, as some render it, a home, or fatherland)-'Strangers and pilgrims on the earth.' And is it
not a gracious contrast?L' days on the earth,' but
eternity in heaven! Days of sufferings, but pleasures
for evermore!'Our days on the earth are as a
shadow,'
"' But the bright world to which we go
Hath joys substantial and sincere.'"
She was no "lingerer" at the gates of Sodom,




ADAM  AND  JESUS.               171
" Oh! why," we find her inquiring, "are we not
more transformed into the very image of Jesus?  I
think it is because we so little seek the indwelling
of His Spirit.  It is so vain to reform  our lives,
words, and acts, unless the transformation springs,
from  first to last, from  the root, and source, and
author of life within us-is it not?  I will send you,' Her leaf shall be green' (Jer. xvii. 8), with' I shall
be anointed with fresh oil' (Ps. xcii. 10)-the sap or
the oil of the Spirit.  Dear        is reading me'M'Cheyne's Life' again: how sweet it is! He did
so realize his full acceptance and completeness in
Jesus. And why should not we? I was greatly
struck by a remark from a dear friend in D, the
other day:'I only see two men in the word-Adam
and Jesus; and I think God only sees two. All are
seen as either in Jesus or in fallen Adam. Christians are lost sight of, and Jesus is seen; and God
treats Christians as part of Christ.' Don't you think
we should try more and more to forget ourselves as
individuals, and to see ourselves as parts of a whole
-members of a Body, burying self, our religious
self, quite as much as our natural self.
Her happy thoughts of God both lightened her
own trials and " gave her the tongue of the learned
to speak a word in season to the weary."  "I will
not take up your time," she says, after mentioning
some details about her illness, "by writing about
these seen things, which. are but for a moment.
How soon they will be forgotten for ever, except as
the goodness and tender mercy of our Father in




172    MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
heaven is developed and exhibited in them i"  And,
writing to another, on February 16, she says: "I
really can only think of you and        as in the
midst of the burning fiery furnace heated seven
times: but I always see a fourth, like unto the Son
of God, with you; and your furnace is heated by
love, and not by'the wrath of the king.' It is' the
furnace of affliction' in which you were'chosen.'
HIow wonderful to be'purified seven times!'"
And on February 28: "I shall be entering tomorrow on the twenty-sixth year of my sojourning
on earth. Ask for me, that whether for time or for
eternity I may henceforward walk in the li/ght of
God's countenance.  Do you remember talkling to
me once about'Jesus lifting up His eyes to heaven?'
(John xvii. 1.)  How His eye would always meet
the downward glance of His Father's eye! It has
given me such sweet, happy thoughts about our
heavenly Father's countenance. For, in Jesus, the
same must always be true of us. And don't you
think the Father's face is always irradiated with
looks of love, the natural dictates of His heart of
love, and that His countenance always beams with
lovingkindness? Oh, will it not be wonderful to
look up full into our Father's face, and really to be
able to enjoy the blaze of that light as it beams
from  His countenance in glory?  I think those
words in Jude give us such a wonderful idea of our
perfectness in Christ, that He is able to present us
faultless before the presence of His glory.  In that
excess of brightness, that light where there is'no




TIDES OF LOVE.                173
darkness,' to be'faultless!' And, dear, is it not
as true now of you and me in Jesus, as it is of dear
B —   C-, who really was presented there this
day last year?  So that God is lifting up tile light
of His countenance upon us even now.  It does
seem so wonderful that we can desire to come into
contact with such light-the very thing which by
nature we so shrink from:'Men loved darkness rather
than light. "
And to another: "I have no idea whatever now
of seeing you or Torquay.  Perhaps never! But it
is enough to' know, that He who sees, leads His blind
ones safely and rightly. Oh, it is sweeter than I can
express, to leave it there! How good God has been
to me, to make me feel it so! I wish I knew how
to be thankful; but I shall not have to wait a bit too
long for powers to praise, when Jesus will be Himself
the leader of the praises of His people' in the great
congregation."' 
And to a deeply-tried friend, a week later, thus:
"The verse I should like to send you is Ps. xlii. 7:'All thy waves and billows are gone over me'tides of love,'waves and billows' springing out of
the ocean of God's love, so that they cannot overwhelm, but only plunge us into its unfathomable
depths. I have thought of it many times for you in
connexion with Phil. ii. 27 —' God had mercy on
him, and not on him only, but on me also, lest I
should have sorrow upon sorrow.'  And it is followed so beautifully in the next verse, by God commanding His lovingkindness in the day-time, and
15A




174     MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
enabling the soul even in the dark night to sing' His
song., 
Not the Spirit's work in her, but Christ's work
for her, was still the object of her daily thought. " I
often feel," she writes, "that we go tossing about on
the tides of Christian experience, which are for ever
fluctuating, instead of lying peacefully at anchor on.
the Rock of Ages." And in another letter, of
March 6: " I cannot find a single instance in
which, either in the Gospels or in the Epistles,
Christians are taught by example or by precept to
mnake a study of their own hearts.  I cannot help
thinking that Christian experience has far too much
taken the place of the study of Christ and of the
character of God, and that this accounts in great
measure for the low and desponding state of so very
many Christians. Do you not think that the constant study of His character would far more effectually teach us our depravity than poring into our
own?"
And on March 30: " This morning, under some
peculiarly trying circumstances, those words,'Be
careful for nothing,' came home to me with such fresh
power! I believe that, in the very act of making
everything known to God, His peace fills our souls.
Have you ever noticed that joy and peace are the
two things Jesus came into the world to bring-' on
earth peace,''glad tidings of great joy?' And they
are the two things which, during His last conversations with His disciples, He seemed most specially
tc have on His mind-' These things have I spoken




"CHRIST FIRST, THE CHURCH NEXT." 175
unto you, that in me ye might have peace;'' These
things have I spoken unto you, that my joy in you
might remain, and that your joy in me might be full.'
(This last verse is literally rendered from the original.)
So these are the two things I would especially desire
for you as your purchased right and privilege to enjoy
in Jesus."
Adelaide was, by birth and education, and also by
enlightened attachment, a member of the Church of
England. But "Christ first, the Church next," was
her guiding maxim; and the more she frequented
"the light," the more did the two objects assume
their due proportions.  "As to our own Church,"
she writes, on April 2 (1850), "in what a fearful
state it is in Devonshire W! hat should we do but
for the assurance,'The government shall be upon His
shoulders?'  I think the Chnrch is merging her
character of Christ's bride into that of an ecclesiastical body; and I see no remedy but for each member
individually to seek to belong to it rather in the
former sense than in the latter-a bride in communion with her Beloved-a believer panting after
secret intercourse with Jesus. May each of us enter
closer into Him, and hide us deeper in Him! So we
shall be safe, come what will."
Her forthcoming book she refers to, on April 15,
thus: "Will you take the burden of this work and
cast it on the Lord for me? Tell Him the book is
His-written with His time, His teaching, His talents,
by one whose purchased property it all is. Certainly
there is a vast mixture of sinfill infirmity to mar and




176    MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
defile it; but then He chooses base things.  So,
you see, I draw comfort from my baseness! Do implore His blessing on it for me."  If works done in
His service were oftener gone about in this way, we
should serdomer hear of blunt sickles and sheafless
reapers.
And, in the same letter, she says: "I have heai-d
from dear.  She sent me two half-sheets fullvery kind, and to me very hopeful. Not a word of
actual religion; but then, you know, she is not one
to profess even what she feels. And throughout it
there is to me an evident consciousness that her
whole way of living is wrong and unsatisfying, and
that she does not enjoy it, and can't. She declares
she likes me to write to her, and says she would
write to fmie if she could say anything worth saying.
Indeed, I do think God is at work with her, embittering the world by degrees. She is giving up balls,
and wishes for quieter amusements: when she tries
these she won't find them the least more satisfying:
and may we not well hope that in due season she will
give up seeking it anywhere but where it is to be
found? He who alone is able to save her yearns
over her far more fondly than you or I. What a
sweet assurance!"
Notwithstanding the Derbyshire climate, her health
this spring rather improved.  "I suppose," she says,
"I must say a word about the earthly hut! It has
weathered the severe winter, under the shelter of'the shadow of the Almighty,' most bravely; and
here I am  at home, better rather than worse. I




RELIG I OUS DISS IPATION.           177,ook on and wonder.  God is having His way, His'higher' way than mine; and I am waiting on Him,
I hope, to know and do His bidding."
And her soul flourished like the palm tree. "I
get calmer rest at times in His love than ever
before," she writes. "But I constantly feel that
conflict lies before me, and I want very much to be
prepared for it. Have you thought much about the
Evil One and his associates? (Eph. vi. 12 —margin.)
What part of the Word is occupying you most? Is
it not sweet to be sitting under his shadow?  While
all other shadows are so essentially'fleeting,' with
Him  there is'no variableness neither shadow  of
turning.' He is at once the Sun, the Rock, and the
Shadow. Precious Saviour!'"
The bane of the religious world is religious dissipation. There is not a little gathering of the manna;
but there is not much of it eaten. The consequence
is, a cry everywhere heard, "My leanness, my leanness!" Dear Adelaide escaped this snare. "' I reckon
it one of the greatest privileges I ever enjoyed," she
writes, April 15 (1850), " to have been taken out of
even the busy religious world, and led to look into
the deep things of God, which He has so wonderfully revealed ill His word."  It was this earnest,
personal, daily communing with God through the
Word, which gave to her life so healthful a tone. It
is the absence of this intense individual meditation
which, like a canker-worm, is eating out the Church's
life.
The sympathy of Jesus was ever yielding her




178    MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
fresh consolation. " I should like to send you,"
she writes on April 19, "a verse which has been
comforting me very much this week; for I felt
unusually weary for a few days at the beginning of
it. It is Matt. ix. 36 (mary.),' When He saw the
multitudes He had compassion on them, because
they were tired and lay down.' If He has still the
same feelings which He had when He was on earth,
how sweet it is to know that His eye is upon each
feeble and weary child, and that His compassion
can be moved by the sight of even our bodily tiredness i Oh! if we could but see His look! how
feeling a look it is!' His eyes are as doves' eyes.
Just fancy Him, for example, looking down from
the cross upon His mother-what a look it must
have been!"
"No., I don't find it solitary," said a Tuscan confessor lately to one who was condoling with him on
his imprisonment in a cell; "I have with me here
Faith, Hope, and Charity."  One of these heavenly
visitors Adelaide especially prized.  "I have been
searching out texts on'Hope,'" she writes on
April 30; "they are so beautiful, and it seems to
me (a. grace so very litle cultivated and sought after!
Yet surely it is one for the advancing believer to be
abou nding in, just in proportion as he is' filled with
joy and peace in believing.' There is such certainty
in the Scripture-meaning of' hope;' and I think
the real meaning of Rom. viii. 24 is so precious,
though our translation dims it-' We are upheld by
hope? 




" SEALING"   AND "44 ITTNES SING.   79
With a singular precision we find her defining the
Bible-teaching upon another subject, thus: "Did I
ask you if you had ever thought of the'sealing' and'witnessing' of the Spirit?  A  Scotch friend asked
me about it, thinking they were the same; but I
see manifold differences, one especially, that the'sealing' is a past and finished work in its main
sense, whilst the' witnessing' is the Spirit's present
testimony to the truth of all that God has testified
about Jesus-a daily taking of the things of Christ
and showing them to us."
Her heart was thus drawn  away from  itself
entirely, and was fixed exclusively upon the Word,
"My text for you," she writes on April 30, "is,'I hope in thy Word.'  I do so like the naked promise or bare WoId of God to be made the stay of
the soul.  How very, very little we think what it is
to rely on that Word with such excessive caution, as
if we must be careful how far we trust it!  It is
surely making God a liar to doubt it.  I sometimes
think we look upon a certain kind of unbelief as
humility, whereas to doubt the truth of the words,'He that hath the Son, hath life,' is as great unbe,
lief as to doubt that' him that cometh unto me, I
will in nowise cast out.' Oh! how little we seem to
have learned of the truth as it is in Jesus, when He
has been years in teaching us! there is so little'reaching forth unto things before''
Tersteegen has finely said, that "the first poison
which steals into faithful souls is, that they imperceptibly place their righteousness and their confidence




180     MEMOIR  OFv A. L. NEWTON.
in their fidelity, in self-denial, in their virtues and
graces, in their devotional exercises, and not entirely
in God alone. The Saviour then opens our eyes, as
with our own clay; and thus His wonder-working
hand has alone the glory, and we the shame."  "I
do really believe," Adelaide writes on May 1, " that it
is God's grand aim to humble and empty us; and to
be emptied of fancied religiousness is the most painful lesson, I think, one can learn.  Since we cannot
keep our hearts low, God keeps us in a low condition; and perhaps we are never so truly living on
Him as when we feel to lie lowest."
And she adds: " I have been thinking very much
lately about Christ being' made to us sanctification.'
Don't you think we are very apt to look to His
death on the cross as it our whole salvation lay wrapt
up in it alone-forgetting that His death only put
away our sin, and that, if we want holiness, it is to
the thirty-three years of his life that we must turn?
I can give you no idea of the comfort it has been to
me, when feeling I could neither pray, nor love, nor
believe, nor do anything, to plead all these things as
perfectly performed by Christ for me."  And elsewhere she adds:" Seriously I do think that many
Christians take Christ only as half a Saviour; they
so little realize that it is His faith, His obedience,
His everything through life, which is to be pleaded
as ours, as well as His death and resurrection."
Alluding to a deeply-tried saint at Torquay, she
writes, on May 3: " How wonderfully some people
are detained in their clay prisons! And yet only




"'THE CHURCH  PERFECTED."    181
that God may get Himself more glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ! Perhaps none will join as cordially in the praises of'the great congregation' in
glory as those who have had most here to be delivered from. Oh! the depth of the riches of God's wisdom, and knowledge, and love! Oh, dear, we
shall never get to the bottom of that depth-never,
never! It is a marvel to be on the brink of being
swallowed up in it!"
And, in another letter, speaking of Jesus as " the
leader of His people's praises in glory," she says:
" Surely His praises in'the great congregation,' so
often referred to in the Psalms, must ultimately mean'the Church perfected.' And how sweet it is to feel
that He will then be able to take the lead in every
song of praise which any of us can sing, as having
personally known every trouble from which we can
praise God for being delivered!"
A schoolfellow, after seeking rest in intense worldliness, had begun to seek it in Ritualism.  "Don't
let it distress you," she writes to a mutual friend concerning her: "she will perhaps try formal religion
as she has the world. The latter has already disgusted her, I hope; and'in due season' I hope the
former will, still more. How many try everything
but the right thing, till, when everything else has
failed, they are just driven to it of absolute necessity!
Go on taking her to Christ to be healed; and so
surely as He never sent away one sickly, miserable
body unhealed on earth, so surely do I believe He
will send away no sick soul unhealed in heaven, but
16




182    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEW TON.
still He keeps saying,'If thou canst believe, all
things are possible.'"
And to another schoolfellow, on her marriage:
"Though you are not to read this to-morrow, it will
show you, by its outside merely, that' the day' is not
forgotten.  I send you some texts as a very tiny and
humble remembrance of it. I know you value God's
Word above gold and fine gold, and the adorning
which is of such great price in His sight, far more
than any little thing I could have sent you to adorn
a poor perishing body of clay.  When our days on
the earth have passed away like a dream, and our
outward adorning has decayed and waxed old, we
shall still be living witnesses, I trust, of the great
realities and joys of eternity! clothed with immortality! covered with the robe of righteousness! arrayed in pure white linen robes! beautified with salvation, and crowned with life and glory! Our road
to all that lies through much tribulation; but Christ's
presence by the way tinges every dark cloud with
brightness, and throws a sacred light on every step
we take. So, now, dearest A —, I sum up my best
wishes for you in the heartfelt desire that His presence may shine on you all through your journey,
and crown your journey's end."
Hewitson remarked one day-" I am better acquainted with Jesus than with any friend I have on
earth." Dear Adelaide's Christian life gradually
assumed more and more of this hue.  " Try to cultivate," she writes on May 15 (1850), " the thought of
Jesus as a personal Friend-a real, true, living Per



THE HOLY SPIRIT.                183
son;-j- Ist as truly so in heaven at this moment as I
am in this room. You don't see either of us; but
you know I am here, and you can think of me; so
you know HE is there, and you can think of Him.
Only with this vast and unspeakably precious difference, that you can only hold intercourse with me at
intervals, and by letters or messages through other
people, but you can always hold intercourse with
Him, at any moment, and without any medium for
it to pass through.
"Oh! the mystery," she continues, "is to my
mind so intensely wonderful and so sweet, of God's
Spirit dwelling at once in Christ and in us, so that
we have literally actual personal communion both
with the Father and with His Son, through the one
Spirit which dwells in us all. It would be frightful
to dare to think or speak of it, if it were not so
plainly revealed; but now, I think, it is our privilege
to know it —and our own fault if we don't, because
God says he is willing to give the Holy Spirit to all
that ask for it; and 1 Cor. ii. 9-16 teaches us what
amuazing things we may know if the Holy Spirit is
our Teacher."
And she adds: "This is a secret work, just such
as you want. No one need know of it but yourself
and your Father which seeth in secret. I am convinced that the more you make Jesus your most intimate Friend, breathing out all your secret thoughts
into His ear by the Spirit (or the breath of life), the
more you will find that gloomy forebodings vanish —
you will forget them, not by trying to do so, but by
being pre-occupiad with weightier matters.  And




184    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
you will never regret going to —, to be much alone
perhaps with the unseen God —if it be, as I hope it
will be, a time for leading you to your Bible, in which
your spirit may meet God's Spirit, and your solitude
be exchanged for the sweetest conversations that can
be enjoyed on earth-those, viz., between God and
your own soul."
Her " COmmentary on the Song'" appeared at the
end of May, and was very favourably received. "I
feel thankful to God," she writes on June 17, "for
making my book of the least use. It was a bold
step, certainly —-such a writer, on such a subject!
But God chooses weak things and base things, hiding
His counsels from the wise and prudent, and revealing them unto babes. And if He choose to make me
one of those babes, He had a right to do so, and will
get Himself glory in the act."
The "babe" appeared in other ways also.  "I
used to write with great enjoyment to myself," she
says; "but I'm  afraid a secret self-satisfaction in so
doing had crept over me, for lately I have been
peculiarly humbled in this particular way. Even
the enjoyment of His own Word God has shown me
to be a thing I cannot have just when and as I will,
but purely by the gift of free, sovereign grace, to be
bestowed when and as GoD sees best for me. It has
been just the same with prayer, and in short with
everything. I seem to be beginning to find out the
bitter and painfuilly humbling reality that I am literally reduced to the condition of a beggar. Oh! will
you ask especially for me more of that love which
vaunteth not itself and is not puffed up?"




CHAPTER XII.
IT has been said that the Church's life is a perpetual
resurrection-an incessant coming forth from  the
tomb. Daily dying, she daily lives.
" Have you ever thought particularly," Adelaide
writes, nMay 22 (1850), "of 2 Cor. i. 6?  It has
struck me so much to-day, our salvation being'wrought' (marg.)' in the enduring of the same sufferings' which the apostles suffered. I do think people
make'suffering' to mean too much and too often
bodily sufferings.  We don't read of the sufferings
of the apostles ill illness, but in bearing or doing the
Lord's work: and the more I think of it, the more I
feel, what I used to feel when I was so ill, that the
bodily part was not the prominent part in God's eye
even then.  It was the struggle betwixt my will and
His will; and it is the same still. Indeed, I feel we
malke too much of these bodies at all times-pampering them  with sensual indulgences when well,
and, when ill, taking fresh occasion therefrom  to
serve the flesh! But it seems to me that the mental
conflicts, whether in trial or in prosperity, are the
sufferings which work so much for our salvation.  I
am very much tried in some ways mentally —I feel so
1a* 




186    rMEMOIR OF A. L. N E   TON.
stagnant! but I am able to rejoice in what God is;
and I hope all this is to humble me, and to lay me
and keep me low."
The Lord continued to use hecr as a labourer in
His fields.  "I have just had a most encouraging
letter," she writes, "fi'Om  an invalid cousin, who has
long been in search of holiness, but looked for it in
herself rather than in Christ fir her.  I hope I have
been the hand to hold the pen to say what God had
to be said to her. Oh! how intensely one is made
to feel that we are no more than the instrument
through which God the Spirit speaks! We may
talk endlessly, and in vain; but HE speaks, and it is
done."
Fresh thoughts on the WTord rose day by day.
"I send you Ps. xxxv. 1-3," she writes to one of
her sisters, June 20. "Fancy asking God to take
hold of shield and buckler, and stand up for us! as
if our armour must be in His hands, not in ours!
This so comforted me. And those words in v. 3-'Say unto my soul, I am  thy salvation!' It seems
to me one of the most comprehensive prayers in the
Bible; and so beautifully unlike the gaoler's'What
must I do to be saved?' So self-renouncing, and so
Christ-exalting! Oh! for more of this spirit! Never
do we feel so safe, I am sure.' Behold, God is my
salvation; I will trust,' &c. Then we are happy, let
what will fail besides."
Like the heliotrope, occupying itself hourly with
the sun, Adelaide occupied herself hourly with Christ.
"I have been greatly enjoying the beginning of the




"SEEING JESUS."                187
first epistle of John," she writes. "One is struck
with the all-absorbing theme in the apostle's mindno truth nor doctrine, but JEsus. And the way in
which he introduces Him-' That which was from
the beginning!' It seems a natural and favourite
train of thought, for lie began his Gospel in the same
way. Intimate as he had been with Jesus as the
Son of man, he loved to go further back and think
of Him as the eternal Son of the Father.  It would
seem as if Jesus loved to go back in thought to the
same point-see Prov. viii. 22-31, where He declares
that, in the beginning, IIe was rejoicing always before God. So that it is just a proof how John had
caught his Master's spirit."
"And then,) she proceeds, "' which we have seen
with our eyes.' Jesus said that His disciples were to
be His'witnesses' (John xv. 27); and John could
declare that it was no delusive imagination, but
actual reality, what he had seen (i. 14.)  He had
seen the sufferings of Gethsemane, the scenes in the
palace of Caiaphas, the death on the cross, the empty
sepulchre (xx. 8), and his risen Saviour (xx. 20, 25,
29).  Therefore, le could speak with all the holy
confidence of a man knowing that he has the truth
on his side (xix. 35). But his tender spirit was not
content to bear so cold and heartless a testimony;
so he added-'Which we have looked upon,' as
though his heart had moved him to gaze, to watch,
to look with eager eye! As, for instance, when he
heard Jesus say from the cross,'Behold thy mother!'
could he ever forget how he had looked up to Jesus,




188   XMEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
while Jesus looked down upon him?  He seemed,
too, to notice the very minutest actions of Jesus,
twice recording of Him that in prayer He'lifted iup
His eyes' (xi. 41 and xviii. 1). It reminds one of
our eyes waiting on the Lord, as David says, in Ps.
cxxiii. 2.
"Then it follows," she continues, "'And our hands
have handled.' Is not this very precious experience?
as if the'beloved' disciples of Jesus could never be
content with anything short of direct personal contact with Him.  He might have been heard and
seen, and even looked upon, at a little distance, just
as when Zaccheus was in the sycamore-tree he could
hear Him, see Him-, and even look down upon Him,
with ardent delight; but it was as nothing to the joy
of receiving Him into Itis own house! This is something nearer and dearer, involving the intimacy of
personal intercourse.  Mary might have tasted it,
when she' sat at His feet;' and the poor sinner, in
the Pharisee's house, when she washed His feet with
her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head;
and Simeon, when he took up' the child Jesus in
his arms;' and the poor trembling, woman who came
behind Him and touched the border of His garment
and was cured. But John, more emphatically than
any other, enjoyed the precious privilege,'leaning
on His bosom.'  None so' handled' Him besides, or
had that place on His heart."
And she adds: "There are wonderful thoughts
connected also with the expression,'the Word of
life.' Life being so clothed in human form as to be




THE 4 CLIMAX  OF WONDEn."    189
rendered visible and capable of being'handled.'
Jesus, too, being the expression of God-' the Word
of God.'  (Rev. xix. 13; John i. 1, &c.)  It has
seemed to me as if John felt that he had been uttering thoughts so deep, that they almost needed a word
of explanation (in the second verse of the epistle,
which he adds in a parenthesis). Do you think it is
so? I like to think of his nameless way of speaking about Jesus-' That which was from the beginning;' and,'That which we have seen and heard:'
it is all Jesus; and it is not so much His words, or
His actions, as Himself-' My meditation of Him
shall be sweet.' And truly our fellowship is with
the Father and with His Son Jesus Clhrist.' I don't
think I know any text in the Bible to link with this
one, except the'communion of the Holy Ghost.'
It does seen  to me such  a climax of wonder.
Only John xvii. equals it, I think-'As thou, Father,
art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one
in us.' Is it not too much for language to give
utterance to?"
And to another, on July 2 (1850): "How glad
I was to hear you say you felt happier by looking
more to Jesus! A nice young woman came to see
me the other eveinog; and, as she was alluding to
her lonely position, without father, mother, brother,
or sister-and often finding herself misunderstood
(she is so very shy) and thought distant when she
meant to be kind-she suddenly stopped, and said,' But I tell HIM all about it, and that always takes
the weight off me.' I thought it was so very simple,




190    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
Oh! that we did but know more of the simplicity
which is in Christ Jesus!  It often strikes me so
peculiarly about faith. People puzzling themselves
so, to know whether they are acting faith or not;
whilst, if they were looking at Jesus, they would be
believing, probably without knowing it, and every
look at H-im would be strengthening their Tfaith.  I
think we often lose immensely by studying doctrines
and principles instead of a living CHRIST. He is the
image of the invisible God, and the very essence of
heaven's happiness. Have you ever traced Him in
the Gospels (Luke especially), as betraying in everything He said or did such extreme loveliness of character? It seems to me to draw out our feelings of
love and adoration towards Him in return-often,
perhaps, insensibly at the time, but very really."
And again, on July 16: "Do you know a sweet
little hymn, beginning,
"' Nearer, my God, to Thee; nearer to Thee'?
I am so very fond of it. All day long, my heart
seems to be panting after nearness to Jesus. Oh!
what will heaven be-to be with the Lord!' But
do you not think that we might krow a great deal
of heaven upon earth, if we only walked more closely
with God? if our eyes were spiritually open to see
His beauty all the day long, and our ears spiritually
open to hear all He has to say to us in His Word?"
And she adds: "It is very much on my mind
just now, that we do not think enough of the blood,
of Christ. Under the Old Testament dispensation,




COVENANT-G OD  IN  CHRIST.    191
it was the one thing they had to think of every day;
and in heaven we know we shall be ever singing,'Worthy is the Lamb that was slain:' and our conduct here as.Christians does not seem to agree witlz
all this-do you think it does?"
The day before he died, Samuel Rutherford gave
to some brethren who visited him, this charge:
"My Lord and Master is the chief of ten thousand
of thousands; none is comparable to Him in heaven
or on earth. Dear brethren, do all for HIM; pray
for Christ, preach for Christ, feed the flock committed to your charge for Christ, do all for Christ!"
Dear Adelaide, rejoicing in this self-consecration,
writes (July 18): "Oh! it is indeed sweet, dear
L     7, to lay ourselves out in the service of our
covenant-God in Christ.  I am certain none can ever
regret the time, or health, or life so spent. Each one,
in our different spheres, mlust spend it differently;
but if laid out honestly'to the Lord,' it shall assuredly be abundantly repaid us, in time as well as
hereafter. 1, for instance, can no longer visit the
poor and read to them as I once did; God demands
a different service from me now.  But still He finds
me work of some kind or other to do every day.  I
can say a word for Him in a letter; or, as opportunity offers, I can speak to the servants; or I can
talk of Him, and tell out what I learn of Him, to my
sisters or to visitors.  This last was one of my chief
opportunities at Torquay."
I "It is often extremely difficult," she adds, "to feel
inclined for this one's-self, and perhaps even more so




192     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
to have courage to introduce it with others; but if
you will give me leave to say it, I do believe that all
these difficulties vanish and fade away in proportion
as'the love of Christ constraineth us' to live henceforth not to ourselves but to Him. They are wonderfully cleared away for us, too, by prayer-spreading them out before God, as Hezekiah did his letter
from Sennacherib. He can and often does, I am sure,
open ways for us to speak and act for Him, when we
may or may not look out for them-provided only
we ask Him each day to teach us what He will have
us to do. Only tell Him you wish Him to employ
you, and He will soon give you enough to do."
A man in understanding, an infant in heart! The
child occupies itself with its father-expects everything from him. "My father loves me:" what more
is needed to make the little child-itself so poorrich in all its father's treasures? This infancy of
the heart led forth dear Adelaide daily, with a new
simplicity and a new confidence, upon Him who had
loved her and given Himself for her. Sending a
message, on July 29, to a friend who was " still
troubled by looking inwards," she says: "My book
on Solomon's Song might cure hbr of that habit of
looking at herself, not by telling her not to do it, but
by bewitching her with Christ's loveliness. Don't be
shocked at my recommending it; for it just says
(without saying so) what cured me of a like habit.
Dear -- was the blessed instrument of making me
quite forget myself by looking at God in Christ; and
I hope God will bless that book to the same end.




THE  "DOCTRINE OF  E.EWARD."  193'My soul hangeth upon Thee,' are words which I
can truly enter into just now. Self is sinking lower,
and Christ is getting more of His right place, though
it is rather through humbling than through happy
experience?'
On another subject she writes, August 13, thus:
"I am enjoying your dear uncle's book,' The Church
and the Churches,' most exceedingly just now. I
was reading yesterday his chapter on'Holiness,' and
was more than ever struck with that wonderful doctrine of Reward. How sweet it is to feel ourselves
as clay in the hands of the potter, trusting that for
His own glory He will fashion us into beautiful vessels-' vessels unto honour!' emptied of self, and
filled with all the fulness of God! Oh! how one
dreads to mar the beauty of His work, by defiling
that temple of God!"
And on Aug. 17:' Let me send you HIos. ii. 19,
20, with the thought especially, that it is Jesus who
betrothes you, and not you Him-so that the thing
is, to question His love to you, not your love to Him;
and of His love there cannot well be any room to
doubt-can there?"
And on Sept. 2: "I am  certain we need great
variety of discipline; and we get it-illness, health,
mental trial, family trial, great outward things, and
multitudinous tiny, inward, fretting, sort of thingsyes, all sorts, to show us what constant need we have
of all-sufficient grace, and what innate propensities
there are in us to be always starting off from a life
of faith to a life of sight. Oh! the power of seen
17




194     MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
things!  I think one of the great lessons I have been
learning out is my exceeding sinfulness —not the sin
of transgression, so much as the sin of my nature,
my leprous state."
Not boastfully, but in humble thankfulness, she
writes, Oct. 1: " I thank my God for all you say
about my book; and I can't tell you how many encouraging testimonies He has given me of His having spoken through it many a word in season. It
has been chiefly blessed, I think, in showing tried
Christians how  perfect and complete they are in
Jesus, drawing off their thoughts from themselves
almost insensibly.  One, in  particular, said that
whilst she was enduring the most intense agony fi'om' tic douloureux' all over her, it seemed' exactly the
cordial she needed.' But I need not multiply instances: if Jesus gets a ray of glory through it,'tis
enough."
And to another:' I have been very deeply interested lately in'Owen on Hebrews:? it has led
me to see beauties and a preciousness in the priestly
character and work of Christ which I never thought
of before. One short sentence struck me exceedingly-' The want of living up to this truth (His
priestly intercession) evacuates the religion of most
men in the world.' But after all," she adds, "I find
nothing like the Bible itself. There one seems to
hear the whispers of God's own Spirit, breathing
through His own very words. And it all tells of
Jesus; and nothing is put betwixt us and Him.
We ourselves, as His peculiar people, are His holy




THI E " TIDE  OF NATURE.)          1 9 5
priesthood; and Jesus is our great High Priest; and
we go direct to Him with the acceptable sacrifice of
a broken and contrite spirit. And oh! how happy
the hours and moments are when one seems to draw
nigh to the throne of grace!"
Her health had wonderfully revived. " I have
been getting decidedly stronger," she writes, Oct. 3,
"and have been at church the last seven Sundays,
and really am much better."  And she adds: "iow
constantly varying one's feelings are, even towards
Christ! Each turn, as it were, in this weary wildernest seems to elicit fresh natural feelings, and to require some fresh application, by His Spirit, of what
He is to us."  And again: "The tide of nature
often seems to roll me far away from the haven
where I would be. Still I have a settled persuasion
that all I lose from time to time is but the sensible
part of religion, whilst the simple faith which looks
to Jesus and His unchangeableness, seems rather
strengthened than lessened by the loss of all other
feelings."
And to another: "To cease from man, and lookfor our true enjoyment from our God, I am more
and more convinced is the lesson of the Christian
life. We don't know  how much we depend on
creatures and seen things. I do so feel for Lady
C-   G    - in her present fellowship with some
of Christ's most painful sufferings: but the Lord
will yet light her candle."
The first edition of her work on the Song being
exhausted, she was asked to prepare a new workl




196    MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
"As Mr. Villiers proposed to me two years ago,"
she writes, "that I should compare Hebrews with
Leviticus, and as others have proposed the same
thing, I really am thinking of it. But though I
have gone through Hebrews on paper, I have a great
work before me in attempting to give God's mind
about it to others, and it will take much time and
thought.  I may sometimes send you any thoughts
which I particularly enjoy."
One of these thoughts she gives thus: "I have
been struck beyond anything with Hebrews lately:
I am satisfied that chapters vi. and x. are but a part
of a grand whole; and by that I mean that the
whole drift of the Epistle is just a warning to be
stedfast and not to fall away from Christ. And I
think there are passages in chapters ii., iii., iv., and
xii., quite as strong as in chapters vi. and x. So
many dear good people are in bondage about those
passages so very unnecessarily! It is beautifully simple, viewed as a grand whole."
To another friend (the Hon. Mrs. C      ), she
writes, Oct. 16 (1850): "The subject you mention,
of guidance, is one on which I feel strongly.  Don't
you think that wherever guidance is honestly and
simply sought, it is certainly given? As to our discernment of it, I believe it depends upon the measure in which we are walking in the light.  One
indulged sin so clouds the sky that it spreads a mist,
so that to see what God is doing is impossible."
And in the salme letter: "You have asked a
difficult question about sanctification.  Its simple




DIARY.                  197
meaning involves the being set apart to a holy use,
does it not? I think, in Jesus we are perfectly justified and perfectly sanctified from the first, but are
momentarily needing the Spirit's work to apply and
perfect both in us."
Herself living happily on the bright side of the
cloud, she was not content to leave any one on its
dark, Egyptain side.  "I do feel you ought to be
praising'," she writes, "much more than mourning
over your want of better feelings.'Only let me
pant after this one thing, that Jesus may be exalted,
and I nothing.  It is the Lord's love to me I would
see, not mine to Him. I want to look at HIM till I
am not. This will not be, when I find myself having more love to God, more holiness, &c., but when
I lose myself, and see HIM  to be my Wisdom,
Righteousness, Sanctification, Redemption."'
In her Diary at this period we have the following
brief entries: "Aug. 31. Sat. A very precious, happy
week, in which I had innumerable proofs of God's
tender mercies to me. Sept. 1. Sun. Went to St.
J -: heard a most painfully distressing sermon on
Acts ii. 42. Oh, to be in the Father's house above,
where Christ'the truth' will preach (Ps. xl. 9).
Sep. 12. Th. Hearnd dear Mr. Geli, at All-saints',
from Jude 20,'Praying in the Holy Ghost.' Such
a precious word in season!' Sept. 14. Eliza Radford died about nine A. M. Oh, to win souls!  Sept.
16. Reached home again from Doveridge, to'speak
good of His name' who has dealt so kindly with
His child. NFov. 24. Sun. At home all day. Felt
17'




198    uMEEMOIaR OF A. L. NEW TON.
burdened by a sin-sick soul, but tried to tell my case
to my Physician."
Her health, again obliging' her at times to be " at
home all day" on the Sabbath, gave evidence, as
winter approached, of being precarious as ever.
Alluding to " a bad attack of sickness and of intense
pain," she says, Nov. 5 (1850): "It has shown me
how soon I may be brought to a very low ebb; and,
indeed, one needs to be taught lowering lessons in
temporals as well as in spirituals."
And in another letter: "It certainly is the trials
of life which makes one cling to Jesus most closely.
My Bible is very dear to Ine just now; and once or
twice lately I have felt able to pray again-which is
always such a comfort.  But I believe it is best of
all when we joy only in the Lord.  I have so often
felt the last few days, that to be covered with Jesus,
and to be filled with the Spirit, summed up all my
highest wishes."
This winter, like the preceding, was spent at
home. "We have had so little real cold yet," she
writes, Dec. 28 (1850), "that I have never been
made ill by it, so far; and when it comes, if I keep
in these two rooms as I did last winter, I hope to
get through very well.  I grudge the increasing
duties which rob me of the time I have so long been
permitted to spend in feasting on the Word and its
fulness; but I know the field of battle must be
encountered, as well as the green pastures and still
waters be lain in, for we are not as yet come to our
rest."




CHAPTER XIII.
THE family-affections are of God. Antichrist upm
roots them; CHRIST deepens and sanctifies them.
Dear Adelaide is before us in this chapter the dutiful and loving child. H-Ier filial attachment, no longer
a mere instinct such as is shared by the lower animals, has been elevated into a'love in the Spirit;'
and the attachment gains immensely.
The occasion which illustrates this feature of her
character is her father's last illness.  1 I have felt
it," she writes on Jan. 3 (1851), "quite a tender
proof of my heavenly Father's gentle dealing with
me, that, through this excessively mild weather, I
have been so well as to be able to go after dear Papa
and sit with him. I feel every hour as if I were
watching his last days on earth. You may imagine,
but I could not tell you, what I felt when I said' Good night' to him last night, and felt his hand so
cold-with such a damp, death-like coldness. I had
meant to write you a few words before going to bed:
but, once alone, I could not utter a thought to any
but to Him  who could help me to speak them  to
Him, and, for the sake of my own health, I made
myself get into bed, and cried myself to sleep,"




200    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
And, in her Diary, we have this entry: "July 6
Dr. -  and Mr. -     saw Papa, but gave next tc
no hope. I asked Papa if I might give him a text,
Isa. xl. 28-31; and he said,'How little, in such a
time of sickness, one could think! you might feast
on what you had already, but could not follow out
anything."' And, on the 16th, in a letter to the
HIon.  Irs. C —: "To Papa death will be real
gain. When the fruit is ripe, immediately the sickle
will, I know, be put in; and when I remember whose
property the field of this world is, and who planted
and nurtured each spiritual grain of wheat sown in
it, I seem as if I must be satisfied to have it cut
down when it is ready. It would argue indifference
to it in the Husbandman, if HIe then left it in the
field."
And she adds: " I strongly feel how little oneness
of spirit there must be with Jesus, when we grudge
Him the fulfillment of His share in God's purposes
for the sake of our own enjoyment in this strangerworld. We cannot spare Him the spirits He has
purchased, because we cling so fondly to their
bodies! But, since He has felt the natural feeling
of bitterness at parting with a much-loved object,
we know He shares our sorrow, just as He did Mary's
and Martha's.  And what comfort such thoughts
give one! You don't know how true'Treasures in
heaven' seems to me now; I think I wrote it for my
own profit."
A trial of faith she notes on Jan. 16: "You can't
think how precisely you described what I am feeling




EE "FAINTETH  NOT."              201
in that insensibility of soul which kneels before God
but utters nothing. I hope it is not altogether sinful,
for I think it must be very much physical. I never
felt less able to pray; and even the Word of God itself scarcely seems alive, through my own deadness.
But I am not unhappy: I think God is just saying
in His dealings —' Now you see what you are, and
how very weak the flesh is, and how everything depends on what JEsus is for you, and what it is to have
my skirt spread over you."'
Her triumph of faith is explained, Jan. 24, thus:
"Have you marked that passage, Isa. xl. 28-31,
and especially the way the verses are connected?
Frst of all, in v. 28, we find those two wonderful
qualities attributed to'God, the Lord, the Creator
of the ends of the earth'-that He'fainteth not,
neither is weary.'  Only conceive the  exertion,
according to our finite notions, of bearing up a
world teeming with millions of inhabitants, day after
day, year after year, and never being weary! added
to which, each of these inhabitants wants breath
every instant, and innumerable other things besides.
Sometimes the thought of the infinite variety and
number of prayers which are being offered up at the
same moment has come across me with a feeling of
overwhelming amazement; each separately listened
to, and answered-not, probably, all at once, but by
a series of events leading at last to the result, which
turns out to be the answer to prayers we have been
putting up for weeks or months! Fancy God never
being tired of listening to all that! it gives one




202     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
mlag'nificent ideas of the vastness of His power, does
it not?"
" Then the contrast to this, in v. 30," she adds, " is
very remarkable:'The youths shall faint and be
weary;' which I understand to mean, the finest degree of natural strength shall turn out to l)e weakness; and how true it is!'But they that wait upon
the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount
up with wings, as eagles; they shall run and not be
weary, and they shall walk and not faint.'  Just
those who have' no might' in themselves, are those
who prove the strongest of all; for God communicates His own wonderful qualities to them!"
A little jotting to one of her sisters, suggested by
their threatened bereavement, gives a touching
glimpse into her tender but strong heart: " For
dearest N.'I will not leave you comfortless
(mnarg., orphans); I will comne to you.'  (John xiv.
18.)  His offices require His presence with us, and
His love secures it.  He will not leave us.  We
never shall be orphans; for our Father ever lives.Leylands, Jan. 29, 1851."
And, accompanying this, are the following simple
lines:
"The place, the things, the persons we love best,
Oft rob us of our place in Jesus' breast;
But He too jealous is the heart to share;
Wherein He reigns, He reigns supremely there.
"The idols lie deprives us of shall prove
But as new inlets to admit His love;




4 GLORIOUS LIBERTY.               203
Our present loss shall be our richest gainTherein most likeness we to Christ attain."
(2 Cor. viii. 9.)
Her father growing gradually weaker, Adelaide
" took her turn," with her sisters, in ministering to
him. " I had a very happy day with him yesterday,"
she writes, Feb. 3 (1851); " he is so very peaceful,
and so tenderly kind.  On Saturday morning, very
early, he told Mamma he had had a very happy
night, thinking of those two lines"'If sin be pardoned, I'm secure;
Death has no sting beside;'
adding,'It had but one sting, and that is gone.' I
know you will care for these few particulars of one
so inestimably precious to me."
And, writing to Mrs. C — W-, on Feb. 12,
she says:  "He has been the active servant of God
for twenty or thirty years; and God is now polishing
the other side of the stone, and making the passive
graces of patience, meekness, gentleness, to shine
forth in him.  May I send you the words which have
especially been on my mind lately —' The bondage of
corruption,' in Rom. viii. 21? It is such bondage.
Yet we know that these corruptible bodies are to put
on incorruption; and then the bondage will be exchanged for'glorious liberty!'  One longs for the
time for one's-self; but it is hard, to my will, to be
left behind when others go."
It is a great achievement to " occupy" to-day, and
to-day only.




204    MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
01 rich banquet of to-day I let me feast upon thee, saving
manna I
I have none other food, nor store, but daily bread to-day.
I find none other place nor time than where I am to-day."
Alluding to a tendency to look beyond " to-day," as
"the grief of her present trial," Adelaide adds: "I
feel ashamed to write this; for what have I to do
with the thoughts of a future which may never come?
How difficult it is to trust practically, that, as our
day, our strength shall be; and practically to remember that the Christian has to do only with the present
moment.
And the thought is further developed elsewhere,
thus: "' Day by day.' The child of God must learn
that his heavenly Father maintains his cause on this
wise-' The thing of a day in his day, as the matter
shall require!' (1 Kings viii. 59, marg.) For every
trial He sends, He gives sufficient grace for its enduraice! but He promises no grace to bear anticipations with; and we little know how very large a portion of our mental sufferings arises from anticipation
of trial. It is most conspicuous, for example, in Jacob; and in his case his anticipations were, in great
measure, positive waste-things turned out so widely
different from what he had anticipated. These are
the bitterest ingredients of our trials, just because
they are self-imposed and must be borne as best we
can of our own (weak) strength.  No wonder they
are so hard to bear, if God provides no strength to
bear them with! Should not we learn, therefore,
how utterly vain it is to anticipate?  And more



CGOING UP."               205
should not the fact that God has made no provision
for our anticipations, make us shrink from the indulgence of them?' Day by day,' is His direction to
us; and'no thought for the morrow,' is His gracious, and tender, and positive prohibition."
The closing scenes are given in the Diary thus:
"February 26.-In the evening, when I was going,
dearest Papa put out his hand and kissed me, and
said,' Good bye, dear!' and added,' It's all joy-all
peace-all comfort!' March 1.-Commenced my
twenty-eighth year on earth. In the morning, dearest Papa called me, stretched out both his arms, and
clasped me to him-but I could only hear him say,'This is your birthday, dear!' March 5.-In the
evening, he quite opened his eyes and looked at me,
as I stood by his bedside-took my hand-and I
kissed him. A few moments after, he pushed away
the pillow, and again looked up at me, and said,' It's a long time.' Surely this is God fulfilling my
desires! Thank Him!  Bless Him! March 6.At a quarter before two p. m., B —-- came to tell me
how changed dearest Papa was, and I went down.
He lifted up my hand in his many times, and begged
to be raised —to go up-to be lifted up; and his last
audible word, we believe, was-' Saviour'!  March
7.-Again and again in the night he spoke of'going,'
and once said to B,'I'm ready-quite ready;
I only want to be going.' About two and three he
breathed very hard, but became quieter, and breathed
more and more faintly, till we could scarcely tell
when it ceased-a few minutes after seven A.M."
1i




206    MMEMOIPR OF A. L. NEWVTON..March 9, Suncday.-Dearest Papa's first Sabbath in'glory everlasting.' MKarch 13. —Went twice to look
at dearest Papa's earthly tabernacle. This corruptible'shall put on incorruption.' March 14.-All
that remained of dearest Papa buried in the vault at
AMickleover, till Jesus says,'COME FORTH!' Read
John xi. It was a day of much tender mercy."
A few days later she writes: " I have grieved to
leave your kind letter so long unanswered; but, in
honest truth, I have had no heart to write. Nuimbers of notes of inquiry, which were obliged to be
answered, more than used up the little spirit I had
for mentioning him who now is set free friom the
body of sin and death, and, absent from the body, is
for ever'present with the Lord.' It has been a time
of deep and unutterable sorrow, yet mixed with
countless mercies and multitudes of tender mercies
and lovingkindnesses.  Indeed, I often feel far more
inclined to rejoice than to weep; for, bad as it is to
be left behind in a world like this, I know I am following hard after him —and for himself I have not
one single feeling but unmixed thankfulness. For
above an hour after he went, I sat by all that remained to me of him-the greater part of the time
being quite alone; yet not one tear could I shed!
No; I was absorbed in thoughts of unseen realities,
and so marvellously have they taken possession of
me since, that I seldom have felt inclined to weep.
He was buried on the 14th-a lovely, bright morning, which filled me full of resurr ction thoughts.'Lazarus, come forth!' were words I delighted to




THE INTERMEDIATE  STATE.    207
listen to the Spirit speaking in the Word; and little
do we know how soon they may be said to all who
are in their graves now."
And to another: "I could not tell you how positively happy I was on the morning of the funeral,
after reading John xi. It seemed so impossible to
think of the tears Jesus shed over the lifeless body of
Lazarus, without going on to the Omnipotence which
said,'Lazarus, come forth!' 
And again: "What wonderful, very wonderful
things are reserved for us there!  I do feel it so
much, when I cannot even tell where my precious
father's spirit now is, nor what it is about!' With
Jesus' seems there the only thing: and it is enough;
yet at the resurrection we shall also know and be
with each other-don't you think?"
Her thoughts were naturally drawn at this season
to the intermediate state.  "I want to know," we
find her writing on March 17 (1851), " whether your
mind has ever been called to think much of the state
of separation from the body. I have been studying
the believer in Jesus in these three states —1.'At
home in the body;' 2.'Absent from the body;' 3.' Clothed upon with our house which is from heaven.'
But I will send you the paper. There is one thing
which has occurred to me since I wrote it, on the
word' unclothed.' It gives me the idea that it is
a state one naturally would prefer not to be exposed
to view in (' If so be, that, being clothed, we shall not
be found naked'); and how graciously this feeling
is met by the hidden, unseen state of spirits, who, so




208    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
soon as they are'clothed upon,' will'appear with
Christ in glory!' I have been Leading 1 John i.,
too, and looking out texts on it; and often have I
grown breathless through the rarity of so pure an
atmosphere."
And, on March 31, she writes: "I have been
thinking very much about the'unclothed' state;
and I cannot but believe, that, while there, each individual spirit is admitted to the fulness of perfected
communion with Jesus (which is, after all, what we
most intensely long for as Chiistians while on earth),
but that the recognition of saints, and their communion with each other, must wait till they are' clothed
upon,' and have bodies to see, and hear, and speak
with. Have you ever much considered this subject l
I suppose it is interesting to almost every one, for
few can be without some beloved friend or relative
who is there. And the chief charm to me of the
thoughts I have lately had about it, is, that it really
leads one direct to Christ, for it makes Him  the
everything to the spirits who are now'made perfect.'
Fancy being free from all sin, enjoying all that Christ
is, and holding the purest spiritual intercourse with
Him, being admitted into His felt presence! Don't
you think it must just depend on the degree of our
spiritually of mind here, how far we can truly appreciate the'gain' of dying and going to be'with
Christ?'"
The subject took form and shape ere long in an
octavo pamphlet-" The Unclothed State"-which has
proved no small consolation to other bereaved disciples.




U"HAPPY  IN  HIS HAPPINESS.'    209
If the Christian's family-affections are adorned
with a new loveliness whilst the objects of them  are
still here, still brighter and more heavenly is their
hue after those objects are away. Then especially
do they shine forth as not mere instincts of earth,
but as indeed divine. "The real trial," she writes
March 31, "is to be left behind.  Oh; how do I
need Divine grace, to make me content to wait till I
am ready to go! Hitherto there has really been
such unutterable tenderness and gentleness in each
thing which God has done, that silent adoration has
been quite the uppermost feeling of my heart."
And again: " I really had not heart to write to
you as long as dearest Papa was here; it seemed to
weigh me down with such an indescribable weight
of anxiety. But since he has been set free from the
body of sin and death which kept him  so long a
prisoner, I have been quite happy in his happiness.
I seem only to have to press on to follow hard after
him, giving up as much as possible the self-will and
obstinacy of my own naturally stubborn character,
so that God's will may be done in me and by me."
"Lord, we await Thy glory;
WVe have no home but where
The unbroken heavenly family
Thy joy with us shall share.
"Our Father's smiles are cheering
The brief but thorny way;
Our Father's house the dwelling,
Made ready for that day."
18 -




CHAPTER XIV.
IN this new school of trial Adelaide had been
learning new lessons.'I feel," we find her writing
to the Hon. Mrs. C- - April 21 (1851), "what I
had long believed must be the case, that bereavement admits one to an entirely new sphere of sorrow-known only to those who have trodden it.
The isolation I had experienced from circumstances
and from illness is so totally cifferent from the desolation of death! But I do believe that the variety
of Christian experiences through which we are thus
permitted to pass on earth, will add greatly to the
depth of our enjoyment in praising' hereafter.  And
when one thinks of spending a whole eternity in
praises and thanksgivings, it is a very precious
thought to me just now that prolonged life and
discipline yield one ampler materials than could
otherwise have been turned to account to the glory
of God and of Jesus there."
And, alluding to the season, in whose services she
had been engaged, and associating with it the scenes
through which she had been passing at home, she
adds: "I have been especially thinking  of the
Lord's body, above all, of His lifeless body. Did it




THE " DAYLIGHT. "              211
ever occur to you to think of the moment of His
death, when the darkness which had overhung the
land for three hours just passed away, to reveal to
the sight of man His dead body on the cross?  I
was pondering over it so much yesterday; and I
think it must have been such a terrific moment when
the daylight again burst upon that fearful scene.
The subject is so peculiarly harmonious with all that
has been so lately passing here, that I have had
intense delight in reading over all that is recorded of
the body of our Redeenmer whena he had' dismissed
His Spirit' and left it in the hands of man. It has
been so precious to me to notice how God owned
and accepted the fond affietion which constrained
the women to see'how the body was laid' and
where, and to linger about the sepulchre. Don't
you think the record of those little things teaches
one so very much? And cer tainly the Father's heart
must have yearned over even the lifeless body of His
well-beloved Son, or the Spirit would not have said
so much about it. I like to believe it; for if Christ's
dead body were precious in His sight, so must the
dead bodies of His members be, even though they
are so different. Don't you think so?"
"I was wonderfully well," she writes, on April 25,
"through the winter, and  kept up all through
dearest Papa's long illness; but I don't feel so wel.
now, and this spring.weather tries me a good deal.
People think me looking very well, only thinner.
But, oh! how I should like to forget' all that is of
the earth, earthy, and to think, or speak, or write of




212    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
Jesus and His love, so as that others might be
warmed, instead of chilled, by coming into contact
with me!"
Few did come into contact with her, without
being " warmed." Her words were not the prophet's
dead staff, but the living, breathing person. " If I
could send you one word to give you any pleasure,"
she writes, April 27, "I would not be silent; and,
whilst I would ask God to strengthen you with
might by His Spirit in your inner man, I would not
forget that His Spirit may speak through others as
well as directly to yourself. Only how often He
teaches us that it is His own eye meeting ours, or
His own voice speaking to us, or the gentle pressure,
as it were, of His own hand, which tells the depth of
His tender love and satisfies the longings of our
hearts. There is such a secret between us and God,
that our spirits only, and not our tongues, can give
utterance to it. And yet there is the knowledge
that, while we can only utter it in spirit to God, it is
understood by those who are further on in the road
to the city of the living God than we are; so that
our hearts may be made to burn while talking of it,
even though we could not give expression to it."
The Diary thus reveals the way in which she lived
daily on the Word: "March 23.-Sun.'HE satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul
with goodness.'  It must, indeed, be His doing!
How often the creature-streams run dry 1" "'KMarch
28.-'My soul, wait thou only upon Gon; for my
expectation is from Him.' It is true of my'expecta



" BREATHINGS."                213
tion,' that it is from God only; why, then, do I not
wait upon HIM  only?  Conduct contradicts principle."  "April 12. —'Whoso offereth praise glorifieth me; and to him that ordereth his conversation
aright, will I show the salvation of God.' How little
I see of' the heights and depths' of the salvation of
God, when my conversation is all wrong before Him!
Oh, for rectitude of heart and life i"  "April 28.-'He shall not be afraid of evil tidings: his heart is
FIxED, trusting in the Lord.' Mrs. Cavendish came
over fiom Doveridge to see me. We went through
Daniel together; and I hope'iron sharpened iron'
mutually.  Oh, for fixedness of heart!"  "M1~ay 11.
— Had the Communion — EAL commlunion with a
Triune God!" "Mfay 16.-Wrote to dear  -- about
Prov. xxiii. 15, 16-the joys of Jesus. He is our' wisdom;' and our words are the breathings of His
Spirit through our lips!"
A few such "breathings" occur in a letter, dated
May 15, thus: "I suppose I must be thankful to
have even this little taste of Christian communion
with you, ere we meet in the temple of our God to
enjoy the fulness of His precious purchased privileges. But it seems next to nothing-does it not?
-and makes one long to be really at home in our
Father's house above. I think I told you in my last
note how much I had been thinking of the Spirit's
joy. This week I have been thinking of the joy of
Jesus a good deal.  Did it ever strike you in 1
Chron. xxix. 1 7, taking David as the type of the true
David, our' Beloved,' how beautiful those words are,




214    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEW TON.'As for me, I have willingly offered all these things
in the uprightness of mine heart, and now have I
seen with joy thy people which are present here to
offer willingly unto thee l' His was the great offering; and we give ourselves and all we have to give,
in conformity with His example. Perhaps every cup
of cold water given for His sake is an offering' which
He looks down upon' with joy;' and, if so, dear
-, how privileged you must have been in contributing to His joy! I often hear of your kindnesses,
even at this distance; and how many are known to
Jesus, who notices even when'it was in thine heart'
to do them, though perhaps they were not accomplished as you could wish!"
And to a bereaved friend she writes: " I can share
in your sorrow, and that not slightly; but I will not
(as J. H. Evans so often says) pain you with commonplace remarks about affliction. I know well that no
words avail to heal such wounds, except as the Lord
the Spirit speaks them.  The gathering of the
heavenly family appears often to me to be going on
very rapidly, and the time of our meeting in the
many mansions of our Father's house to be drawing
nigh. And what a blessed hope it is!'Glory!' It
seems such a marvellous word.'The God of glory'
-the glory Jesus had with Him from the foundation
of the world — His glory, which is the Father's gift
to Him, and His gift to us-bodies of glory, like so
many reflectors of the glory of His body! The
whole earth filled with it and covered with it. as the
waters cover the sea!-and an exceeding weight of




A RETRosPECcT                 215
it, being the precious fruit of the light afflictions we
have lovingly had allotted to us here! The hope of
glory is indeed a bright one, and might well throw
the present time into the shades of night, while one
is looking for'the glorious appearing' of the great'God and our Saviour Jesus Christ,' when'the day'
breaks and the shadows flee away."
And to another: " I have only not written before
because I seemed as if I could not-not from want
of feeling, but from feeling too much to be able to
say it. The lent jewel is returned to its Owner; and
Jesus has got it all to Himself —for a little while;
but it will not be for long."  And to the same, a few
weeks later: "I had no idea, till your note reached
me, that you had again been feeling as if drawing
near the verge of an unseen world; but I am heartily
thankful to God for sparing you to all of us. Yet,
oh! how delightful it is to walk on fearlessly and
happily as if to the river's brink, though it may prove
to be only to travel on by the river's side,' beside the
still waters!'"
A retrospect, suggested by the illness of a cousin
whom medical treatment had not relieved, occurs in
a letter, dated May 12 (1851), thus: "How often I
wonder at God's dealings with me in bodily things!
— how gently He led me, after a sufficient number of
years of discipline, down to Torquay, that life might
be prolonged, just when I was on the verge of getting
past recovery! Then I wonder how long it will be
for? But every day I am more satisfied to leave it
with Him."




216    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
"I have very, very happy intercourse with Him
about things very often," she adds. " I did so enjoy
the Communion yesterday. I felt I was doing what
He liked me to do. Don't you know that sort of
feeling? And 1 Chron. xxix. 9 seemed to me so
full of preciousness-our joy in doing in our measure what Jesus did perfectly, and what caused Him
such'great joy.' And the thought of contributing anything to the joy of the'Man of sorrows' is
so sweet!"
And again, May 21, to a friend who had paid her
a very hurried visit: "This wilderness-world is not
the place for home-enjoyments and society. I remember once having it remarked to me, that, in
crossing the waves of this troublesome world, the
very wave which rolls one towards a friend speedily
recedes and bears one away again. But it will not be
so in the haven."
And to a friend sojourning in southern Europe for
her health, Mrs. C   WV, she writes (May 23):
"I should think you must be feeling a thorough
pilgrim on the earth! But still are not the statutes
of the Lord emphatically at such times your song? I
always feel so strongly that He seems to encompass one
about so much more closely, as the absence of others
makes room for Him.'There was no room for Him
in the inn,' where strangers were crowding together
in numbers-a large, merry, happy party, doubtless.
But there was plenty of room for Him in the house
where only Mary, and Martha, and Lazarus lived,
And don't you think that is just what one realizes sc




THE " VALLEY OF HUMILIATION."  217
often now? It does not destroy the desolation which
bereavement makes, and which daily grows upon
me; but it sweetens it, and so does the absence of
friends."
The low state of the Church of God often deeply
affected her. Alluding to those words in Amos
iv. 8, " So two or three cities wandered unto one city
to drink water, but they were not satisfied: yet have
ye not returned unto me," she writes: "Does not the
literal exactly prefigure the spiritual Israel here.
There is such a state of things in Christ's Church
militant here on earth, that His showers of blessing
are withholden. Here and there a Christian or a
congregation is found upon whom the rain descends;
and he or it is well watered, while all around is'withered.' Two or three may wander to that favoured one; but even then they are'not satisfied,'
because they have still not returned to the LORD, the
Fountain of living waters."
Another lesson of her discipline she notes, in a
letter dated May 28 (1851): " God has been leading
me in the valley of humiliation of late; and sometimes my spirit has seemed all but crushed. I keep
saying to myself, as I go about like the leper of old,'Unclean, unclean!' and can truthfully say,'I abhor
myself.' I suppose I may read in it all the answer to
my own prayers; for I have so entreated to be laid
low and kept humble, because I felt I was horribly
self-complacent. And yet I cannot but thank Him
that He is chastening me and humbling me; I know
it is to do me good at my latter end. And this re19




218    M E M OI It 0 F A. L. nJoE W T ON.
vival of old, secret, unutterable deeps of soiToW,
which in their very nature seem unfit to be told to
any one on earrh, revives a hope that perhaps God is
preparing me to work for Him again."
"Hard thoughts of God," it has been said, "is the
death of the heavenly life." Dear Adelaide was ever
watching, for herself and for others, against this
snare. "I have a text to send you," she writes,
June 12," which is full of consolation to me; it is
Ps. xxxvi. 10, with Parkhurst's Hebrew rendering,
which greatly adds to its force-' 0 draw out at
length Thine exuberant goodness to them that know
Thee.' The word we render lovingkindness comes
from a root,' to swell or overflow;' and when one is
made to feel the daily and hourly need we have for
fresh demands upon that goodness, is it not sweet to
know from Himself that there is such an overflowing
exuberance of it, and to know, too, that, if in time it
is a stream which overflows its banks, it will but expand into ocean-fulness in the ages of eternity?
God goes on teaching mle that every fresh ray of
light from above does but make manifest some fresh
evil within me; but, instead of occupying one's
moments with repetitions of the deplorable depravity
which seems as if it only increased upon me every
day, it is a higher and better occupation to try and
catch even a glimpse of the goodness which fills the
heart of Christ-is it not? I deem  it my sweetest
privilege to be His messenger at any time, to give
you any word from His mouth, or any thought from
His heart."




EVIL SPIRITS.                219
And in another letter, thus: "That passage, Col.
ii. 13, has struck me very much, as connecting our
quickening with our forgiveness-' You hath He
quickened together with Him, having forgiven you
all trespasses. Do you not think there is involved
in it, that, just as Christ's resurrection proved Him
to have been owned of God as cleared from all the
load of iniquity under which He died, so, when we
are quickened with Him, it is a proof that we are
reckoned clear from all our sin and guilt? May we
not take the fact of our being alive (out of our death
in sin) as certain evidence that the sin which was
killing us, is entirely put away from us?"
Speaking of evil spirits, and of their mode of
warfare with the saints, she writes, June 28, to the
Hon. Mrs. C, thus: "Should we take Satan's
temptations of the Saviour as the example of his
ways of tempting us? Did not he tempt Christ by
presenting objects of temptation —the glory of this
world, &c.?  And when the angel from heaven'strengthened Him,' may it not have been by presenting suitable objects, such as should predominate
over the others (as'the joy which was set before
Him')? If it was so, may there not be a parallel?
This is the first thing I have ever got hold of, which
seemed to explain Satan's temptations to me."
And she adds: " I have a thought about Eph. vi.
12, which I can't help asking you about. That
epistle seems to be full of the deepest truths of any,
and for the most advanced believers; and if so, may
not their very advance in spirituality lead them into a




220    MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
spiritual wrestling with'wicked spirits,' which in a
lower atmosphere  of spirituality  Christians are
scarcely so much as aware of? Can I give you the
idea? Certainly fighting in Canaan is far beyond
journeying through the wilderness; and I should
think comparatively few Christians come to that
reality of conflict. What do you think?"
To another, on July 10 (1851), she touches on the
same subject, thus: "My mind is most stirred up
just now about' the working of Satan.' It has been
very much brought to my notice lately; and I believe there is danger in'being ignorant of his devices' and wiles. Have you noticed, in Eph. vi., that
there are two distinct ways in which he attacks usv. 11, by his' wiles;' and v. 16, by his' fiery darts.'
In such a fearful matter, it is inexpressibly comforting
that both these verses teach us that the armour of
God is abundantly sufficient to preserve us from all
his attacks, if we are but clothed with and standing
in it. All his fiery darts may be quenched by faith.
The' good fight of faith 1' How much conflict goes
on in the inmost recesses of the inner man, unseen
by any eye but God's!"
Adelaide was not a mystic, but an earnest worker.
"I am as full of occupation as I can be," she writes,
July 12, "and all for Him! Is not that sweet, even
though much of it may be passive waiting or patient
enduring-and that takes up a great deal of timedoes it not?  I have lately had great encouragement
about the Irish work; indeed, God has used me in
many ways."




THE "GREAT DAY."               221
And again: "I never can express the happiness I
have in the different ways God suffers me to give up
my time and powers to His work and service. You
have a work to do which I can never have-and it
must be a very absorbing one —I mean the care of
your sweet children, and the training them up in the
nurture and admonition of the Lord. Oh! that the
seed you sow may bring forth fruit, sixty and an
hundred fold! What wonderful things we may expect to see in that' great day!' the seed feebly sown,
and perhaps amidst many tears, yet multiplied into a
harvest of many sheaves!"
And on July 23: " I have been thinking this week
of Jesus as the burnt-offering: it shows the perfecness of His work so exquisitely; every thought, word,
and feeling being first consumed, and then ascending
up to God as a sweet savour! Don't you think it is
a very great help, in realising your own acceptance,
to see how abundantly God was satisfied with the
offering Jesus presented to Him in our behalf? not
only a death for sin, but a whole life of spotless
righteousness! God'takes pleasure' in Jesus and in
all that He is doing. Is it not a shame that we
should ever go to Him for pardon, either for ourselves
or for others, as if He grudged it?"
All her visits she consecrated to the Lord. Writing to the Hon. Mrs. C, on July 26, she says:
" Mamma has kindly arranged to let me have the
carriage to-morrow afternoon to drive over. Much
as I long to see you, I own I shall come in weakness,
and fear, and much trembling. I know by painful
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222     MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
experience that more contact with this evil world has
most sadly blunted the comparatively keen edge of
my spiritual affections; and it must be evident in
spiritual communion.  But I still hope God may
bring good out of my coming to you, and may make
it a time of great refreshing from the presence of the
Lord."
And to one of her sisters, July 25 (1851): "Did
I send you' A Very Present Help l' Each moment's
need through life, and a dying moment's need at
last, has made it seem so precious to me lately. As
plainly as we can trace the workings of love in every
event of Christ's ministry on earth, so it is to be recognised in every event He administers from  His
throne in heaven. It is a hard lesson to learn out-'He hath done all things well,' however fully we may
believe it; but we must seek for grace to be able to
say-' I am content to fulfil thy will, O my God.'
0! the fulness of that word' fulfil!' to fill up every
particle thereof, like a vessel filled to the brim!
Who is sufficient? Our sufficiency is of GOD."
And to another, on August 8: "I have not been
able to enjoy Mrs. C~  at all as I hoped; for they
have another friend staying here who cannot understand anything beyond the merest A B C of religion,
and Mrs. C     is one of the few who love to read
the Word of God with me, and to dig into the hidden
treasures of Christ to be found in it. Still, I hope
that, however disappointing, I may be learning lessons to conform me to Jesus, especially in bearing
the infirmities of the weak, and in feeling what it is




CARR YING THE CROSS,              223
not to be at all understood.  How trying that must
have been to Him, must it not?"
Vinet has remarked, somewhere, that the Church
has need of our sufferings, because she has need of
our services.  "As for the inner man," writes dear
Adelaide, Aug. 22, rejoicing in that way of the
Lord, "I hope that, by this weariness of body, He is
strengthening me with strength by His Spirit, though
it is rather by a discipline which calls forth His love
into exercise, than by leading me by the still waters,
or making me to lie down in green pastures, as He
has often done. I was struck with the way in which
Mrs. C — often told me it was'so strengthening
to carry the cross.' How delightful it is to know
that every stage of our journey is marked out by unerring love! and, as you used often to say,' divinely
adapted' to our weakness!"
And she adds: " I have found that verse very precious this week-' I will rebuke tile devourer for your
sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your
ground.' (Mal. iii 11.) It is so beautiful with that
verse in Lev. xxv. —'I will command my blessing
upon you.' I think the great enemy of souls so often
mars and corrupts our fruits by causing pride to bud,
or by sending some secret sin to eat at their root almost unperceived by us. And is it not very precious
to go to God with His own Word of promise in our
mouth that He will not suffer our fruits to be destroyed?"
And again: "I have liked Ezek. xxxvi. 29 also
very much, in connexion with Mal. iii. 11. It is not




224     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
only that He will cleanse us from all our filthiness
(Ezek. xxxvi. 25), but He adds-' I will also save you
from all your uncleannesses; and I will call for the
corn and will increase it, and lay no famine upon
you.' The restraining grace of God is so exceedingly
precious, in all that He saves us from-is it not? I
think, sometimes, that it will be one of the many reserved subjects of thankfulness and praise which we
shall understand hereafter.'I, the Lord, do keep it,
and I will water it every moment: lest any hurt it, I
will keep it night and day.'"
She devoted many of her hours this summer and
autumn to the study of Hebrew. " It is so intensely
interesting," she writes, Aug. 30, " and seems to lead
one to so very much fuller a knowledge of God's
thoughts in His Words-those precious Words which
have come forth out of His mouth! I do long," she
adds, " to dig deeper and deeper into that mine of
sanctifying wealth. I cannot tell how I enjoy searching out the idea which each word is intended to
convey. It runs away with many an hour of my
time —i hope not unprofitably."
A " weight" which hinders many a pilgrim's race
she exposes in the same letter, thus: " How slow we
are to learn that our portion in this life, as ordained
by God, need be no hindrance, to our onward, upward,
heavenward course! I am so fearfully irritated and
provoked by others, that clouds are ever and anon
hiding from me the heavenly sunshine which is beyond them. Oh i what a den of iniquity one's evil




SELF-REPR O A C H.             225
heart of unbelief is!  How precious the spotless
robe which covers it!"
It was no incapacity to enjoy the world's pleasures
which had separated her from its ways. Before her
illness, she had lost all relish for them; and now,
when comparative health was giving her "opportunity to return," she still " chose the better part."
"I have written a note," she says, August 31, "to
send, through you, to Mrs. ~, as I have no idea
where she is. I try to urge her to be more decided
for God. God has wonderfully helped me not to
give in at all about becoming more worldly. I am
resolved, by His grace, to be as openly given up to
the' one thing' needful now, as wlen I was too ill to
attend to other things. He is very good to let me
bear this testimony for Him.  I feel it to be a great
privilege, though each day it is more difficult."
The self-reproach which continued to sting her so
often, was the result only of a conscience more sensitive to sin by reason of a closer fellowship with
God.  "I see plainly," she writes, Sept. 5, "that
half I suffer arises from a desire to be comfortable
and able to enjoy myself in this life. I know but
little of taking up a cross. How the life which Jesus
lived shames me! You cannot believe how little I
have of that charity which is'not easily provoked.'
I need not multiply wvords to tell you the delight it
would be to me to see you and hear you talk of
Jesus-our dear, precious Saviour, and of our better
and abiding home. I: might be, with God's bless.




226    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
ing, an opportunity of much recovery and restoration
to my sin-sick soul."
And, on Sept. 10, revealing the secret of her
bereaved heart's consolation, she writes: "The emphatic silence of Scripture as to any meeting together
of believers before the resurrection, and then the constant and direct assurance of it at the resurrection,
seem sufficient ground for believing that there will
not be recognition in the state of absence from the
body. Of course, I would not affirm that there may
not be recognition.  Every single passage, however,
where the subject of the unclothed state is spoken
of, makes the'being'with Christ' the fulness of
their joy. And do you think it in the least likely
that the hope of seeing our beloved ones again would
have been deferred to the resurrection-time (as it is
in 1 Thess. iv.), if it had been to be realized after
death?
" To my own mind," she adds, " there is something
intensely solemnizing and unutterably precious in the
thought of being (if one may so speak) shut up to
Jesus during that season-so filled with the bliss of
being with Him as to need and desire nothing more
-and yet capable of such an expanded increase of
enjoyment, when that waiting state is ended, and
when we shall all.be gathered' together' to Him, and
all see His perfect image in one another, both visibly
in our bodies and spiritually in our souls!"
And, led into a kindred region of Christian experience, she proceeds: "That sympathy of spiritual
feeling which we must believe to exist in a perfect




CC DESIRESt AND "OGROANS."    227
degree between the spirits made pelfect, exists also,
imperfectly, betwixt us on earth and those with Jesus.
It seems only our earthiness which makes us realize
it so very little in general. The more I think of the
whole subject, the more strongly I amn made to feel
the absolute oneness of the whole family of God, in
whichever of all our varied states we may be. God's
eye must look upon each and all as members of the
body of Jesus; and don't you think that, in proportion as His Spirit dwells in us, we feel ourselves
united to all in Him —the whole family in'heaven
and in earth? 9'
And in the same letter: "'Lord, all my desire is
before thee, and my groaning is not hid from thee.'
Each word has been full of comfort to me lately.'Desires' and'groans' all known, even when one
can scarcely utter either! And the particular feelb
ing which that verse had so fully expressed for me is,
that when a whole day, or perhaps many days, have
slipped away, and I could scarcely say that I had
prayed at all, the very groanings of one's spirit have
been heard and heeded in the upper sanctuary of our
God. You will understand what I mean, though I
don't know how to say it."
Referring to some new tracts which she was publishing, she writes, Sept. 18 (1851): "Perhaps I am
too cautious and fearful, but I never dare take any
step in the way of printing, unless I see what I
believe to be indications from God that He'has
need' of my attempts to serve Him." And she adds:
"Mr. Gell said in his sermon last week, that no one




228     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
should think himself of no use to Christ, for He
never says to any of His members,' I have no need
of thee.' He has need. What an insignificant animal it was said of originally,' The Lord has need of
it.' So I thought that He might have need of me,
though perhaps He does not need my tracts; and
then I hope I shall be hindered from thrusting them
in His way."
Like the oak which strikes deeper its roots by
reason of the winter's blast, dear Adelaide's heart
was, by reason of her manifold trials, fixing itself day
by day more stedfastly in CHRIST.  " My mind," she
writes, whilst on a visit to a not very congenial circle,
"is very much distracted here; but I really believe
it is good to be shaken out of dependence on or
rest in outward circumstances in all ways. It makes
me feel how firm the ground is, in resting on the
Ro3k of Ages."'0 Lord, we happy children,
Whilst yet on earth we roam,
Find in our Father's bosom
Our spirits' present home:
"For where thou art reclining,
By faith we too repose,
In thee all rais'd to heaven,
When thou, our Head arose."




CHAPTER XV.
RITUALISM is not CHRIST. Writing to a schoolfellow whom the prevailing ritualistic tendencies of
the day threatened to ensnare, she writes: "I grieve
to hear so poor an account of the -place you are
staying at; but, do you know, I don't think reformation would be half so effectually brought about by
repairing  the church as by visiting the people.
Don't you think it is a great mistake in these days
to make so much of church-architecture and outside
things, instead of real, downright, earnest prayer
for the work of God's omnipotent Spirit to change
the stony hearts of the unconverted amongst both
rich and poor   I think it is a great snare.  I
greatly fear T — is slightly poisoned with the
IHigh-Churchism of these days; though he denies it
in words, his letters have betrayed it to me. Oh,
how almost universal it is! My book on Solomon's
Song is full of the Church; but it is the Church
as Christ's Bride, not as an ecclessiastical body.' The Church which is His body,' is my notion of the
Church."
On another occasion, addressing the same correspondent, she writes: "I hope the clergyman you
20




230     MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
mention is not the same as a friend of ours heard
when she was at A   -; for he was far from preaching the truth as it is in Jesus. Oh, how sadly in
these days the Church is exalted, and JEsus left out!
To look at things, as I cannot fail to do, more in the
light of eternity than others who have not felt on its
brink, makes everything which will last only whilst
time lasts, appear comparatively unworthy of thought;
whilst the things which are unseen-the Spirit working in us (like the wind, which is heard, though unseen), Christ who is our life (though now hid within
the vail), the sustaining vital principle of God's
strength made perfect in our weakness-all these
truths are forgotten or not to be talked about, because
they are too sacred! and we live very unlike those
who are sojourners only in a world which must itself
soon pass away.
" But," she adds, " there are many who are arousing from such a life,, and devoting themselves as
servants to do their Master's work, sowing seed now
to reap the harvest hereafter. This seems to me the
only true value of life. Were it not for this, it would
be far better to depart so soon as the soul is won to
Jesus.  But, in the bearing which each moment has
upon eternity, the saint is sowing'to the Spirit' as
truly as the ungodly are sowing wind to reap the
whirlwind! Dear  ~, do pray for me, that what
yet remains to me of life may be each moment spent
for God: I ask it for you —I feel it to be of such
eternal importance."
One day Henry Martyn, after preaching in Cal



TIIE ELECTRIC  WIRE.              231
cutta on the cross of Christ as the only way of life,
was publicly charged with " driving men to mopishness, melancholy, and despair." Starting soon afterwards for Dinapore, he was met on his way by sonme
brethren who had assembled to commend him to
God. "My soul never had such Divine enjoyment,"
he writes, contrasting the pleasant fellowship with
the heartless ritualism which he had left behind in
Calcutta; "I felt a desire to break from the body,
and join the high praises of the Church above.
May I go in the strength of this many days!"
Dear Adelaide  also  had select hearts in whose
sympathies she found a congenial home. "I do
so feel," she writes, "that very spiritual thoughts
can be expressed in spirit to God, but not in words
to man, except as His Spirit makes two minds to
receive the same thoughts, and then they are mutually understood, though scarcely, perhaps, expressed
at all."
Does not this account for that mysterious communion of thought and of feeling which pervades,
like one electric wire, the saints who dwell in the
secret of the Lord's presence? And does it not
account also for that not less mysterious incapacity
of other saints to receive certain truths which their
brethren discern on the sacred page, written as with
a sunbeam?
Like Martyn, she often longed to "join the high
praises of the Church above."  " Frequently I wish,"
she writes, "to be gone to my real home, and to be
with Jesus."  And, on Sept. 19 (1851): "It is




232    MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
singular that you should have been reading the
seventy-first Psalm lately. There is such precious
intercourse in it betwixt one's own soul and God!
I was thinking last Sunday how very partially it
could be realised by us in this short life, and
how greatly we needed an eternal day, such as we
shall soon have, in which to show forth the now unknown numbers of the salvation, and victories, and
righteousness of God. Will it not be blessed with
an incorruptible and immortal body, to have our'lips' and'tongue' and'mouth' filled with His
honour and praise, literally and uninterruptedly' all
the day long?' and our souls, too, will then so'greatly rejoice' in the perfection of our Redeemer's
work!"
Brainerd in his Diary speaks of being so occupied
with God and His perfections, as exhibited in the
Gospel of His grace, that his own personal self
ceased to have a place in his thoughts.  "There
is something," writes dear Adelaide, expressing a
like experience, " in the very love of our hearts towards God's'salvation,' which in itself is quite inexpressible. This Psalm (seventy-first) gives vent to
so much of it to God, in a way which one feels He
can appreciate, though almost no one else could tell
what our own secret experience means when it
praises Him for His glory, and beauty, and righteousness, and truth!"
One of her trials and triumphs of faith she notes
in another letter, Oct. 1, thus: "The text which
has been given most emphatically to me lately is




GOD'S TRAINING.               233
Ps. xxxi. 20. The word we render'pride,' means'rough, proud, untractable, vexatious in temper and
action, which are in life like rugged knobs in a
road,' being the same word as in Isaiah xl. 4,' rough
places, or rugged, difficult to pass; a chain of mountains.' Does not this give a marvellous fulness of
meaning to that precious promise-' Thou shalt hide
them in the secret of thy presence from the pride of
man'-from those who are ever vexing one's temper,
whenever one meets with them, by the rugged knobs
which they lay in our way, so very difficult to pass?
I am not sure whether you are tried by people as I
am; but I feel certain that you will enter into the
comfort of a promise like this. Just to feel, when
the trial is pressing hard upon one, that now is the
moment when God is hiding one in the secret of
His presence! Oh! it is inexpressible relief. What
wonderful training God's is," she adds; "it is so
much of it unperceived, not only by others, but even
by one's-self at the time! I so very often forget
that He is concerning Himself about me in each
momentary occurrence of the day.' The Lord thinketh upon me'-' with great exactness' (according to
Dr. Wilson). I must be intensely provoking to
Him! Nothing astonishes me more sometimes than
that He never wearies of me."
And to another: "I am sure that you have had
some very blessed communion with Jesus in His
Word; and I hope that you will have no silent
moments even, but that the Spirit may be speaking
peace to your soul continually. May I send you
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234     MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
these two words,' Meat indeed,' with a heartfelt wish
that you may be richly fed and feasted with all that
is in Jesus?'let your soul delight itself in fatness.''I sat down under His shadow with great delight,
and His fruit was sweet to my taste.' How sweet
that repose may be in this life, as a kind of foretaste
of the rest which remaineth!' Many shall come
from the east and west, and shall sit down.' Did
you ever think particularly of the rest from warfare,
and journeying, and weariness, which is implied in
the words?"
A solace for the sick chamber she puts thus: "I
comfort myself with that wonderful promise that
God Himself will be strengthening you upon the bed
of languishing, and will Himself make your bed.
Don't you like the marg'inal reading there-' Turn
your bed?' the word meaningo, to'turn or change
the condition of a thing.' I think it must be meant
to teach us God's minute knowledge and care about
our earthly tabernacle, showing that He, can adapt?His omnipotence as well to the least thing in a sickroom as to the greatest thing in a kiingdom."
The Word grew daily in preciousness.' I have
been looking out," she writes to Mrs. Carus Wilson,
Oct. 6 (1851), "all the different meanings to the
Hebrew  words for prayer, and have found nearly
thirty, each having some rather different idea att'ched to it.  One, for instance, signifies'a low,
w'hispering sound' (see Isa. xxvi. 16, mary.,'secret
speech'); another,'words set in order before God,
like the shew-bread' (as in Ps. v. 3,' In the morning




FUTURE  AWARD.                 235
will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up'):
there is also the pouring out of the soul like liquids:
and there is the opening of the heart, like a cloud of
incense expanding itself, &e., &c.; all showing, I
think, most wonderfully the minuteness with which
God has taught us how well He knows all our varied
ways of approaching Him."
The issues of this momentous Now! who shall fitly
conceive them?
"Each breath is burdened with a bidding, and every minute
has its mission."
And what a mission! "Mr. Stowell was lately
quoting," she writes, Oct. 19, "a remark from some
old writer, of the necessity for the judgment to be
passed on individuals being delayed till the end of
time, because their works do not end with their
death; for instance, parents, in training their children, might not reap the fruit, perhaps, for many
years after they were dead.-and so on. In thinking of this, I began to see such wonderful heights
and depths in the judgment of God, that I have
been lost in adoration. To think that a word spoken
or written may be like a grain of seed cast into the
earth, to be multiplied a thousand-fold, and re-sown
perhaps again and again from one to another! and
yet that each will have exactly his own measure of
reward in the great day of reckoning-oh! is it not
amazing?
"Don't you think," she continues, "that it will
glorify God very exceedingly then?  We could not




236    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
determine what share we have had in the good which
has been wrought, if one person wrote a book,
another gave it away, and another lent it-or, to go
further back, how much the writer of it may have
learned from books he had, and from thoughts he
had gathered fiom  others!  One seems lost in a
labyrinth of which one knows next to nothing; and
yet each link of the chain must be so clear in the eye
of God, that He will be able to give to each precisely
what their thoughts, and words, and actions will have
produced in all their varied and multiplied results.
Did you ever exactly think of it in this way? it
seems to have opened up such a field of wonder to
my mind! And while, on the one hand, it seems to
fill every moment of time with immensely increased
importance, giving us an interest in it not only
during our own short span of life, but until time
shall be no more, it also gives one an idea of the
boundlessness of God's knowledge and of the rectitude with which He will come to judgment, which
fills one with adoring wonder and delight!  Of
course, you will not misunderstand me as meaning
anything of merit in this."
Luther used to say that "justification by faith
alone," was " the article of a standing or of a falling
Church."  Dear Adelaide felt it day by day to be
the article of a standing or of a falling Christian.
"What a glorious subject the atonement is!" she
writes, referring to Lev. xvi.  " The perfect remission of our sins through the one offering, the Lord
Jesus Christ, once and for ever!  No works, no




AN ANXIETY  CALMED.               237
repentance, no services needed for our acceptance
with God; for all was wrought for us in Jesus.
How this relieves the anxious, burdened mind of
the poor sinner i He comes to God in the imputed
righteousness of Him who stood in his place as a sinoffering.
And in another letter: " I am glad you are interested with the subject of the priestdood-it is immensely wide. Think of the'spiritual sacrifices' we
are to offer as God's holy and royal priesthood, rendered acceptable as they are'by Jesus Christ,' our'great High Priest.'' Present your bodies a'living
sacrifice'-is not that a remarkable expression? A
lamb, when once offered, was dead; but we are to
go on offering our bodies, to be consumed in the
flame of love continually —the sacrifice of one's
whole life! And don't you think we are to offer
our talents, and time, and money, and affections as'spiritual sacrifices,' to be burnt or consumed on the
altar of Christ's body, i.e., His members on earth,
that they may daily ascend as a sweet savour to God
by Christ Jesus?"
One of her anxieties she calmed thus-the words
occur in a note to the Hon. iMrs. C, dated Nov.
3 (1851): "I have been gathering comfort lately
from a marginal reading the 139th Psalm. I don't
know whether it may have struck you; but, in connexion with a view which is sometimes taken, that
verses 14-16 refer to the mystical body of Jesus, it
is very interesting, I think.' Thine eyes did see my
substance, yet being imperfect; and in thy book all




238    MEMOIR OF A  L. NEWTON.
my members were written, what days they should be
fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.' Is
it not a nice verse to think of, when one is anxious
about any one as to their spiritual condition, if their
conversion seems to be very long delayed? each
member of the body being fashioned in the day
which is written in God's book!"
And she adds: "I do indeed feel, as you say, that
such thoughts are overwhelming to our finite minds,
connected as they are with regions unexplored almost
by the most matured faith. Yet the little glimpses
of heavenly light which come down, like the rays of
the sun behind a cloud, upon our earthly hearts, are
very sweet. They seem to tell of a light which we
are not yet'able to bear.'"
This life's brief hour is our infancy; our manhood
is in the age to come: but the sapling is now receiving its bent.
" Character groweth day by day, and all things aid in its
unfolding."
Feeling the overwhelming weight of this fact, Adelaide writes, Nov. 1 7, thus: " Has it ever struck you,
in reading Revelation, how each of the songs which
are there recorded as sung ty the saints in glory,
refers to their own specific characters and discipline
on earth? For example-the song oft the twentyfour elders and four living creatures, in Rev. v. 9, 10,
on the opening of the seven-sealed book (which must,
I think, refer to some part of Christ's redeeming
work; and the context leads me to conclude it must




A FR ESH GLIMPSE.               239
be the redemption of this earth).  Then the song of
the countless multitude, in ch. vii. 9, 10. And the
song of the 144,000' redeemed from the earth,' in
ch. xiv. 1-5. And the song of the victors over the
beast, in ch. xv. 2-4. And in ch. xix., the united
voices of the heavenly throng,'saying, Alleluia.'
Don't you think it gives immense interest to each
day's existence here, to see how the character of our
praises hereafter will be connected with it  May
Jesus be ever present with your spirit, and give you
sweet foretastes of the fellowship which you are to
enjoy with Him  through all eternity!  And may
His mercy, peace, and love be multiplied to you
moment by moment till you' enter into peace'-the
desired haven!"
The person of Christ eontinued to be the centre
of her heart's desires.  "I was so delighted," she
writes, Nov. 28, in allusion to Ezek. i., "with the
way it ends, pointing to' the appearance of a man'
as the very centre of all the glory, and Himself the'brightness' of the glory! Are you not delighted
when you catch a friesh glimpse of Jesus in a passage
of the Old Testament where you had not seen Him
before? It seems as if the Spirit were actually
engaged with us in showing us something more of
Him."
And, indicating another of the Lord's ways, she
writes: How long it, sometimes takes to answer
prayer! and how unlikely the several steps seem to
be, by which it is -answered! It was the case of
Israel in Exod. ii. and iii., which struck me so much




240     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
They cried, and their cry came up unto God, at the
very time of their distress (Exod. ii. 23-25); and
He seems at once to have spoken to Moses about it,
saying,' I have surely seen the affliction of my
people which are in Egypt,' and I am come down
to deliver them.' (Exod. iii. 7, 8.) And yet, in
the first instance, they could not have had the least
idea that God was answering them; for He only
spoke to Moses, and Moses was in another land.
Then Moses caused a delay by his unbelief, so that
the Israelites did not get the assurance that their
cries had been heard until the end of the fourth
chapter. Then after that, instead of immediate deliverance, their bondage was actually increased; and
when God again assured Moses that He would filfil
all His promises to them, in ch. vi. 1-8, they were
so bowed down with'anguish of spirit and cruel
bondage' that they could not believe it was true. It
gave them no comfort whatever, and their misery
altogether seemed immensely increased. Then Pharaoh was another great hindrance, and again and
again God gave him'respite'-all which must have
been exceedingly difficult to the Israelites to understand. Surely it must have been a very great trial
of faith, and one which must have lasted some
months, as far as I can make it out, though the
number of days is not always specified as to the
length of the plagues, &c. And yet God was in fact
answering their prayer all that time, was He not?
And at last the deliverance really came, and at I the




THE RAVENS.                  241
set time'-' at the end of the 430 years, even the
self-same day.'"
To a fellow-pilgrinm who seemed near her home
she writes, Dec. 4 (1851): " I do not feel as if I
could bear to think of losing you; but I would like
to lose my will in God's. The thought of your being' with the Lord' is too bright to make -one wish
to detain any one down here in such a world of
darkness, ruin, curse, and death. But to know the
sovereignty of God's unalterable purpose silences
many wishes. Each link in the chain has its own
right place. Those words in Joshua i. 11 are so
precious-' Within three days ye shall pass over
this Jordan!'  The limited, fore-ordained, fixed
time; the safe passage over; the certainty of entering Canaan; and the fact of its being God's giftare all so sweetly brought out; and I like the
thought too so very much of the three days' preparation-lodging on the borders of Canaan in such
composure, whilst, in leaving Egypt, they had to be
in such haste."
For some time back, she had forwarded to a dear
friend fortnightly a paper of " texts for each day."
VWriting, on Dec. 12 (1851), with the texts for the
two last weeks of the year, she says: " Sometimes
I hope I have been permitted to bring you daily
food in the desert, as the ravens fed Elijah; and if
so, I am thankful for the privilege, and shall be more
thankful if I am allowed still to minister to you as
long as you are in an earthly tabernacle to need it.
How different it will be when'the Lamb which is
21




242    MEMlOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
in the midst of the throne' feeds you, and leads you
Ny the living fountains of water in heaven! Then
it will be indeed true that our'warfare is accomplished' as well as that our iniquity is pardoned.
And I am sure you must often look forward to the
day when the fight of faith shall be over, and you
shall' sit down with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, in
the kingdom of heaven.'
" I have seemed so weary of the conflict of late,"
she continues; "I am sure I should have f'ainted had
I not believed to see the goodness of the Lord in that
land where all is life, and light, and glorious liberty.
The humanity of Jesus has been very comforting to
think of; His calling us'brethren,' and partaking of
our very nature, owning us as His' children.' I have
done some texts on His' trust' in God, from Heb. ii.
13; and it seems as if it helped one exceedingly to
see how He was upheld by the Spirit just as we are.' Behold my servant, whom I uphold. I have put my
Spirit upon Him.'
"I met," she proceeds, "with a new thought the
other day. I found it stated that the word rendered'bruise,' in Gen. iii. 15, is literally,'to overwhelm
with darkness, or with a tempest.' It is the same
word that is rendered' darkness' in Ps. cxxxix. 11;
and it scarcely occurs anywhere else. If that prophecy were a looking forward to the darkness which
covered the earth at the crucifixtion of Jesus'for
three hours,' how wonderfully it was fulfilled, being
such a comparatively light thing to the'outer darkness' into which Satan shall be (ast for e ~er and ever I




PECULIAR  AFFINITIES.              243
The one a bruising of the heel, but the other of the
head! The 22d Psalm shows so very beautifully how
the darkness passed away from Jesus —from His soul
as well as from external nature. And do you not
think that the darkness-the'horror of great darkness'-which fell upon Abraham before the burning
lamp passed between his sacrifice, was a striking prefiguring of the horrible darkness which fell upon
Jesus, ere His soul was poured out unto death (He
being Himself the sacrifice)?'I think, if one may understand Gen. iii. 15 in
this way," she adds, "it suggests a very precious
thought also for all the members of'Abraham's
seed.' For it tells —does it not?-that our bruising,
our times of darkness, are but the sufferings of'a
little while?' They shall pass away, and our songs
of deliverance shall mingle with those of Jesus, when,
in the midst of the congregation, He sings praises
unto God.  Do you remember a beautiful sentence
of Owen's on Heb. ii. 12-' In the midst of the
Church will I sing praises unto Thee?' He says:'These words are taken from Ps. xxii.  Most of the
Psalm  containeth the great conflict He had with
His sufferings, and the displeasure of God against sin
declared therein. As He lands upon the shore, fiom
that tempest wherein He was tossed in His passion,
He cries out, " In the midst of the Church will I sing
Draises unto Thee."' "
Too real to be imitative, she yet was drawn to
certain saints by a very peculiar affinity.  "Have
you seen the Memoirs of Hewitson?" she writes,




244    MEMOIIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.'
Dec. 26.  "' I never read a book which I enjoyed or
entered into so thoroughly. My mind is full of it.
He so longed for close dealing with God." And,
uttering her own soul's longing, she adds: 1" Oh! it
is indeed His own self I pant after. Fellowshipliving, constant, intimate fellowship-with Him, is
the cry He often hears from the desolate void of my
unloving heart. How I do loathe the sin which
makes the atmosphere so misty, the clouds so thick
and dark! I am now reading Deuteronomy, to see
more of God's holiness and of the necessity for not
sparing the darling lust. That is where I suffer such
loss."
Another feature of her own maturing life, she describes thus: "Oh! I do so intensely enter into what
you say of the deeper experience of riper years as so
much more abiding than the brighter experience of
the babes of Christ. Lambs frisk and play; for they
have nothing to do but enjoy themselves. But how
different when they become sheep, and have to
travail in birth and to feed their young 2 Is it not a
true picture of Christ's fold? I could not at all tell
you how I have been made to feel lately that this
later and riper experience is coming upon me, and
the earlier and former and inore lightsomle kind
passing away. I have so felt other people's sins, and
seemed so identified with my family, the house, the
parish, the congregation! I feel as if I must make
confession of all their sins for them. I believe it is
precious experience; for it is Christ-like, is it not?"
Her health this winter occasioned her not a little




SERVICE.                  245
inward conflict.  "Oh! to be more swallowed up
and absorbed in Jesus i" she writes, Dec. 26; "then
I should be more content with His dealings, of whatever kind they might be. I do so much feel the
truth of all you say about our personal and individual
dealings with God alone-the work hidden from
every eye but His. My body often keeps down my
spirit. Well as I now am to all appearance, I have
many a weary day or night, and frequently such
restless uneasiness, without actual pain, that it is no
wonder to me that the inner man is often greatly burdened and oppressed. But it is all so'well,' that I
cannot be thankful enough."
Another year closes upon our pilgrim, and leaves
her still in the wilderness. Labouring like one who
feels the preciousness of the short hour, she writes,
Dec. 29 (1851): "I esteem it such a privilege to
minister to the members of Christ's body militant
here on earth, especially as the time shortens. I have
been so stirred up with the state of this large parish,
that I have got a poor man to go about among the
poor in the evenings for me, hoping to lead some at
least to Jesus.  If you can lift up one prayerful
thought for me and him and Christless souls here, I
shall be most grateful. His ear is'not heavy,' but'open to our cry.' Go when we will and where we
will, we find Him ever listening."
And on Dec. 31, writing to the Hon. Mrs. C —,
she says: c" May I send you Deut. i. 30, 31, for this
season of the year. It has struck me so much, that
New-year's day seems like a time for the Christian
21'




246     MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
to strengthen himself for the future by the review of
all the past —of all that took place' in Egypt,' and'in the wilderness,' until'we came into this place.'
What confidence we are exhorted to place in God —'Dread not!' (v. 29)."
"Our times are in thy hand,
Father, we wish them there;
Our life, our souls, our all we leave
Entirely to thy care.
"Our times are in thy hand,
Why should we doubt or fear?
A father's hand will never cause
His child a needless tear.
"Our times are in thy hand,
Jesus the Crucified I
The hand our many sins had pierced
Is now our guard and guide.
"Our times are in thy hand;
We'd always trust in thee,
Till we have left this weary land,
A.nd all thy glory see."




CHAPTER XVI.
"How I should like her portrait," writes one of
Adielaide's most intimate friends, "with her open
Bible in her hands, as it always used to be, and all
the energies of her penetrating mind digging deep for
its unsearchable riches-now bringing up a bit of the
precious ore with such delight as another bright
addition to her store, and now surveying with increasing joy all she had already got! No Memoir could
be in the least faithful which did not throw a strong
light upon the peculiar way in which she lived upon
the Bible. And this resulted, I think, from that feature in her character which led her to sift so inde!
fatigably every subject into which she cared to inquire. Grasping the whole plan of salvation, and
settled and established in it immoveably, she fixed
her eye steadily on God; and to know Him was all
her desire. On that subject she was insatiableever exploring His word to find Him out, ever tracking His mind; and thence arose those ardent longings to be wholly absorbed in Him. The study of
Jesus-His thoughts as perfect man, His mind as
God-occupied her almost continually; and so richly
was she repaid in these researches, that there were




248    MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
seasons when her soul was so filled with adoration
at the discoveries opened up to her, that, for a time,
they seemed to extinguish temptation and leave her
free to delight herself in God.
"Then, again," continues her friend, "there was a
reverse side to this picture-when this very study
would open the flood-gates of temptation and raise
strong conflicts within. She could not bear to feel
she had any thought which did not seem to harmonize perfectly with the mind of Him she worshipped.
She was not satisfied to assent, to believe, and to
leave deep matters; she felt assured it was the privilege of the child of God to enter into full, unrestricted, entire conformity of thought, wish, will, and purpose to the Divine mind-and this through union
with Christ and the indwelling of the Spirit. She
seemed so well to know when He was taking of the
things of Jesus and showing them to her, or when her
own mind was at work. Her spirit could find no rest
when she found herself in a state only to acquiesce in
any word of God: she wanted to go along with it;
and, if the hindrance to her doing so arose from imperfectly understanding it, she ceased not to ask, to
knock, to seek! Oh! how diligently did she spread
her sails, how patiently did she wait for the precious
gales of the Spirit, to carry her into that presence,
without which existence was really a burden to her i
"You can understand, then, I am sure," her friend
adds, "how this world-this life, in the common acceptation of the word, was nothing to her. Nor was
it any temptation.  Her's was, if I may so express




DIARY.                  249
myself, altogether a spiritual warfare; and she found
hardly any one who could understand her. The
conversation of Christians generally was a positive
trial to her. She used to say to me,' While they are
talking around me, I am occupied with singing and
making melody to the Lord in my heart. I can talk
to Him, and I can hear His "still, small voice."'
But, equally, when she did meet with those whose
sympathies were in unison with hers, her communion with them was of the purest, most elevated description, and her enjoyment of the highest degree.
Her method of searching the Scriptures will be seen
in her papers, and will show how she loved to harmonize all the plans of God and bring out their wisdom, beauty, and glory, as a faint reflection of Himself. This appears to me to have been the leading
turn of her mind."
The writer of these lines (the Hon. Mrs. C - )
was one of the very few by whom dear Adelaide felt
that she was understood. "Mrs C-  is my prime
friend," she writes; " I could not tell how I delight
in her. I have spent nearly three weeks with her at
D-   both the two last summers.  She is such a
Bible-Christian! We used to talk about it for hours
together."
In her brief Diary the year opens thus: "Jan.,
1852.-' The poor committeth himself unto thee.'
(Ps. x. 14.)  What better can I do with myself this
year?'I am poor and needy.' MY WHOLE SELF I
would commit into my Father's hands, whether for
life or death. His promise is,' The expectation of the




250    MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
poor shall not perish for ever.' (Ps. ix. 18; Isa. xlix.
23; Ps. lxii. 45.)"
And again: "Jan. 1. —' Who, then, is willing to
consecrate his service this day unto the Lord?' (1
Chron. xxix. 5.)  And 1 Chron. xxix. 17:'Is it not
my " Beloved" who speaks? has He not seen a willing offering in His servant?' Jan. 4, Sab.-' Thou
hast avouched the Lord this day to be thy God.'
(Deut. xxvi. 17.) I have, at His table —owning myself His, and that He is mine, before a great congregation on earth, and before angels-good and badand before the Triune Jehovah. Jan. 19.-The opening day of the school at Mickleover.  Oh, that it
may be the letting down of the net to catch a multitude of fishes!"
And, later: "Feb. 1. —Again fed at the Lord's
Table, remembering Him who is still absent. Feb.
8.-Heard Mr. -- on Gen. i. 2. Alas! the waters
of baptism spoilt it all to me! March 15.-Vestry
meeting from St. Alkmund's Schools; we each sent
~50. May Jesus own and bless it! _April 3.-Saw
dear Maria W-. She spoke of Jesus and the
Father making their abode with us, and told me Dr.
M'Neile's sermon was a blessing to many Christians.' Bless the Lord, O my soul!' April 9, Good Friday.
-Heard Mr.  -   on John xix. 30. A precious
service. Did not Jesus rejoice to be so remembered
on earth?"
These jottings indicate not uncertainly dear Adelaide's daily life. "She fixed her eye," as her friend
so truly says, " steadily on GOD; and to know Him




L FE A BUSINESS.               251
was all her desire." Rarely has any one more
"ardently longed to be wholly absorbed in HIM."
But it was not a mystic pietism. Her life, as we
have seen, was one unceasing "living  sacrifice."
Poor Herbert once sighed" Oh I that I were an orange-tree,
That busy plant I
Then should I ever laden be,
And never want
Some fruit for Him that dressed me."
Adelaide Newton did more than sigh. Life was with
her a business-a business for God.
Her "strength" in doing and in suffering was
"the joy of the Lord."  Gazing not on the sun as
reflected in the ever-varying waters, but on the sun
in His steady march in the heavens-not on God as
seen in the fitful surface of her own feelings, but on
God as seen in the unchanging expanse of His Word
-*she learned to rejoice in Him continually, even
amidst unceasing trials.'Did you not feel," she
writes, for example, on Jan. 9 (1852), "as you looked
at those texts, how much the past year's experience
had deepened your interest in all that GoD is to
you? I seemed to feel it so much, as I was doing
them-above all His long-suffering, and constancy,
and unwavering loving-kindness. How truly in Him
there is'no variableness, neither shadow of turning!'"
Alluding one day to the words, "Prepared as a
bride adorned for her husband," she said, " Yes, it is




252,IMEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
that' preparation' which is now detaining us down
here; for no hammer can be heard in' the city'-the
preparing is done now."
And another day, following out the same thought,
she said: "I have been so struck with the Greek
word in James v. 11, which we render'patience.'
It is literally'to remain under.' Does it not give
the exact idea of prolonged suffering? How much
we have to remain under-have we not? Such a
load of daily crosses and trials from which there is
no escaping! It often comforts me to think what it
is preparing us for. Do you not think our work as
well as our places in heaven will depend very much
upon what we have been here educated and trained
to do?  Every day I- think I connect earth and
heaven more and more together, each event here
being linked in with our happiness there."
Her own " preparation" hastened forward. "The
last few months," we find her writing at this period,'have made the greatest difference in me —I feel
more than so many years older. I feel this so much,
that I have sometimes wondered whether I was
living my life in a small compass; but it may not
be so, and I am content to leave it."
And again: "How little we know, when we begin
to use the little talent or power we think we have,
what use God intends to make of it! I often think
what wonders will be revealed in the day when all
the links in the chain become visible."
Adelaide "overcamne," not by going out of the
world, but by witnessing for Christ in it. "I felt




THE HOLY DOVE.                253
sure you would have to go to.-  to dinner," she
writes; "and I can well understand your preferring
to be alone with Jesus; but His'go to my brethren,
is a word of command which must often send us
as well as Mary, in a sense, away from Him-must
it not? But soon He will have us where He is for
ever."
Sending to a friend a new tract, she writes: "You
see my pen cannot be still. I do hope this word
may lead some Christless souls to get ready, ere the
day shall banish them with all their works of darkness into the gloom of eternal night."
And she adds: "I send you the report of the
Hospital. I have some hope of getting some good
ladies about here to contribute. I don't like Mrs.
-   -'s way of writing; how can she call it' the dear
Hospital?' My Bible is very precious to me just
now.- I have not seen Trench's book; but I am sure
I should like it. I am more rivetted by words in
Scripture every day."
Krummacher somewhere says, that if there be a
spirit within us which can be at ease in the midst of
defilement and can bear sin, we may be sure that
that spirit is not the holy Dove. A dove has been
known to fiuttpr and tremble at the very sight of a
hawk's or of a falcon's feather.  "Nothing strikes
me more," Adelaide writes (Jan. 12, 1852), 6 as year
after year rolls on, than the wondrous forbearance
of such a God of holiness with such a world of sin.
Oh! how intensely of late I have groaned under this
world's sin and ungodliness! Words could not tell
22




254    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
it."  And again: "I have another tract which I
think of printing ere long, on the'Purging of the
Floor.' (Matt. iii. 13.) What a prospect that is to
look onward to —' He will thoroughly purge His
floor!' I cannot tell how deeply I have entered
lately into passages which show how the earth will
be cleared of all its abominations when Jesus comes
-swept with the besom of destruction."
Growing in sympathy with Him who wept over
sinners, she writes: "My heart is often so heavy
that the wheels drag slowly over the ground. I
seem quite unable to forget the unpardoned sin which
is sinking so many into hell, and the unconfessed sin
which keeps so many believers at such a distance
from peace and joy in Jesus."
And sympathizing also with Jesus in His joyful
anticipation of the coming "rest," she writes, some
days later, thus: "Yesterday I did so enjoy Heb. iv.
-the'rests' of God and of His people. What a
sweet subject for a Sabbath down here-a pledge
and foretaste of the Sabbath which'remains!' I am
sure Owen's explanation of the' rest' stops far short
of the truth, because he sees in it nothing beyond
the Gospel-rest for Christians. I have been reading
a good deal of Horsley lately, and was so struck
with one passage, where the Hebrew word for'rest'
occurs in 2 Sam. xxiii. 7.  Our translations says,'They sliall be utterly burned with fire in the same
place;' but he says it should be'In the Sabbath (the'rest') they shall be utterly burned with fire'-referring not to the end of that which is burned, but to




THE  TWO  RESTS.               255
the end of all things, when they shall be utterly consumed out of the earth."
And in another letter she says: "Did you ever
notice how beautiful the meanings of the two Hebrew words are for'rest' quoted by St. Paul in Heb.
iii. and iv.?'The one in the ninety-fifth Psalm is'Noah,' which Parkhurst defines as rest from toil and
weariness  as the ark rested on Ararat after its tossings to and fro on the waters, or as the land had'rest from war' in the days of Joshua.  The other
word, quoted from Gen. ii. 2, is'Sabbath,' literary
cessation-i.e., rest (not from  labour, but) because
the work is finished. God rested, or ceased, because
all was done. Does not this give an exquisite view
of rest? The two together seem to me to present
such a perfect prospect for faith to rest itself upon.
We shall have rest in the desired haven from all the
toil of life; and we shall enter into God's own
rest, when He shall have made all things new; and
nothing will remain to be done to break His Sabbath
of rest to all eternity. This latter kind of rest does
seem so inexpressibly perfect-the whole creation
sharing in it, as it did on the first Sabbath-day in
Eden, and Jesus bringing into it all the blessings
of His Sabbath-day (if I may so express it) when
all His new creation work was ended, and a Triune
God finding perfect and eternal satisfaction in that
keeping of a Sabbath which remaineth to us His
people."
The " man in the picture" had his eyes lifted up
to heaven. "After suffering dreadfully for a while




256    MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
by restraint in prayer," Adelaide writes, Jan. 24
(1852), "for many weeks the constraint upon me
has been to pray; and much time has been spent in
the attempt.  As to the expression of prayer, it has
been a mere nothing; but I have found the greatest
strength in those words,'He that searcheth the
heart, knoweth what is the qmind of the Spirit,'
which, I suppose, refers to the groanings which
could find no vent in utterance or outward expression. If so, are not these inward'groanings' (for
no other word half expresses it) the very things which
the Spirit is working in us, and which, after all, con,
stitute the truest prayer? The grand point where I
fall short is, that I go away so often without any
consciousness of getting what I ask for. Hewitson
said he never went to bed without knowing with'absolute confidence' that his sins were forgiven,
because he believed in God's truthfulness when He
said,' If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just
to forgive us our sins."'
And, somewhat later, she writes: " It is remarkable, that, since I wrote to you, two very dear friends
have been dreadfully tried of late, in not being able
to express anything in prayer.  This restraint is
very painful in one way; but, do you know, just
very lately I have seemed to feel as if my groanings
spoke more than my words.  Words are not needed
to God. He reads the mind of the Spirit in us;how much that means!  I only want to be filled
with desires, and they shall be fulfilled.  I have
been thinking how every wish of our renewed hearts




MATURING HEAVENLIN'ESS.    257
is summed up in those words,' Thy will be done!'
What is not included of good in our Father's will?"
And again: " Do you enter much into prophetic
study? You will see what a sweetly refreshing and
sustaining subject it was to Hewiston. It is so much
more the thought of seeing Jesus, than of any of the
accompanying circumstances, which I love to think
of, that I value my tract as likely, I hope, to call attention to the subject.  I know it is'the living
Person,' as Iewiston so often says, that we need to
come in contact with, if we are to be lively Christians. Don't you often pant for better fellowship with
Him?"
A lesson of her maturing heavenliness she notes
graphically thus: "Deuteronomy strikes me most as
the book which instructs the true Israel of God as to
their condition'in the land.' I take it to be a stage
beyond the wilderness-beyond even the conquests
of the book of Joshua. It is not the first taking possession, so much as the unflinching yielding up of
the whole heart and life to God in after-experience.
It does so condemn me, dearest, from page to
page, that I almost shrink from saying what I seem
to see in it: nought of the'cursed thing cleaving'
to one's hand-the cities of the enemy burnt to the
ground, and all the spoil, every whit-the diligent,
careful hearkening to God's words, and the holy
obedience and truthfulness required-and then, too,
the rejoicing even before the Lord, and the intense
holiness which the whole atmosphere of the entire
book seems to breathe. Altogether it makes one
22-;




258    MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
breathless, if you understand me, to be in so pure an
air. I think it is not studied by Christians as it deserves. We should be saved out of such mixture
with the unholy and unclean, if we saw our true
standing' in the land.'"
And, writing to one " very near the entrance into
glory," she says: "How beautiful Deut. i. 25 isthe spies going into the land, and bringing some of
its fruits, to show to others what a good land it is!
MIay not this be great reason why you have been detained so long in the body, that, having spied much
of its fruitlessness, you might tell of it to me and to
many, many others?"  And again: "Don't you
think the' garment of praise' is a very essential part
of a Christian's clothing, and becomes so more and
more as he draws nearer to the society of those who
stand around the throne with harps of gold and cease
from anything but praise?
"' Then we shall sing more sweet, more loud;
And Christ shall be the song.'"
And to the same, some weeks later: "I scarcely
imagine you look much at the waves of trouble now.
Are you not occupied with Him most, who walks
upon them  and whispers in your ear,' It is I?' I
feel, more and more, that it is in proportion as we
come personally and individually into contact with
the living person of Jesus, that the work in the inner
man grows in depth and in reality. I often think of
you as just on the borders of the heavenly Canaan,




TOILING.                  259
receiving the finishing strokes of the great Architect's
hammer."
A similar experience she indicates in another letter, thus: "I have been struck to-day with Mark vi.
48-Jesus looking on whilst His disciples were'toiling in rowing' on the sea, and He Himself was on
the land; and, though He saw them, yet He went
not to them until the fourth watch of the night.
And even then He would have passed by them.
Don't you think we may gather from incidental remarks of this kind how much less our mere enjoyment or relief from trouble is His object than it is
ours?  His thoughts are so very much higher than
ours in all these ways; He seems so often to be represented as looking on while His people are suffering, yet not bringing relief for some time, like Israel
in Egypt-'I have seen, I have seen.' It has oc-!
curred to me lately that these words could almost
convey the impression that his own heart of love had
been wrung with anguish with what He had seen (if
one may speak of Him in language so human), as
if He could not speak strongly enough of what He
had seen. And yet how long it was, after that, ere
they were finally rescued!  It often wants David's
kind of waiting in'waiting,' does it not? (Ps. xl. 1,
margin.)  But they who wait on Him shall not be
ashamed.
Some interesting touches of character come out
indirectly in a letter to another friend, dated Jan.
26: "I own I should be glad if the    - could
leave -—; it is evidently so utterly unsuited to




260    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
-. What a very singular experience theirs has
been in the Christian life! I felt greatly interested
and truly sorry for Mrs. -; for her whole tone of
mind seemed to me so unhealthy.  I think both
sisters want Christian society to call them out of
themselves; and that they cannot have at -
They want spiritual vigour and spiritual strength;
but there is much to love in them, and they were
most kind to me."
"I have heard no more of Mr.," she adds;
"but I am sorry if I slandered him. He is one of
the Lord's chosen vessels; and I would not be
guilty of breaking off even a little bit of the ornamental chiselling, by throwing even a small stone at
him. I need not throw stones at others. Enoughoh, how much more than enough!-for me, if I
look at the beam in my own eye. And how it blinds
and distorts my powers of seeing others aright! One
thing I do hope my heavenly Father is teaching me,
and that is, to loathe and abhor myself. I would sink
deeper and deeper still, that Christ may get all the
glory of what His grace does in and by me, and that'yet not I' may ever be my motto. I have been in ore
and more delighted with' Hewitson' each time I have
read it-and I have gone through it three times, and
read the greater part four times. Oh, how closely he
walked with God! His mind so exactly suits mine;
it is more interesting to me than even M'Cheyne's
Memoir. I grieve to hear of your illness, though I
am sure it is a token of your being led more alone
with Jesus. I cannot give you the least idea how I




JOY U N SP E AKA BLE.          261
have been dragged out of my happy'solitude of
experience,' as I called it long ago, not so much by
going amongst strangers again, as by being made
to feel identified with those around me, and with'the Church (which is His body).' Do you know
much of confessing sin for others? It has been my
constant occupation lately. Oh, how sin does afflict
me! I need only hear of it or see it, and my own
spirit is wounded and darkened."
Some other features are given elsewhere. For
example, on February 4, she writes: "Your kind
note did me great good, because it was so full of
Jesus. I am so thankful you are so happy in Him.
Surely you need not fear to indulge in enjoying
Him with joy unspeakable. He is leading you into
green pastures, and making you to lie down beside
the still waters; and he means it to be a sweet time
of refreshment, does He not? I suspect we should
enjoy those opportunities while they last; for we are
soon enough called back into scenes of conflict."
And to Mrs. C —--    W —--: "I value all your
experience so much, when you review your long
life and tell me how you feel now. It is deeply,
deeply humbling to look back on what we have
sought to do to Him; it is, as you say, so spoilt
with sin, even in our holiest things. I have deeply
felt it lately; and I suppose it must be my experience, more and more, as I go onward. Dear Mr.
Evans! how he felt it! But he had naturally one
of those very powerful minds which feel everything
in an intense way. It makes the' Memoir' exceed



262     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
ingly precious to me. His deep views of sin, and
his proportionally deep appreciation of the efficiency
of the blood of Jesus to wash it away, give such
fulness of meaning to his words. I am so glad you
have got 6Hewitson;' it has been a precious book
indeed to me. He walked in the secret of the Lord's
presence, under the eye of the same holy God as
Evans did; and his faith was so very simple that
he did not linger about the threshold, but entered
into Jesus (as he expressed it) and lived upon His
breath!"
" I cannot tell you," she continues, " how much
and often I think of you, dearest Mrs. W ——, in
that foreign, distant land. But
"'What are distance, time, and place,
To the God that fills all space?'
I am most thankful, if you are suffering less bodily
and enjoying much of the felt presence of Jesus. I
love to believe that He has accepted all the unripe
fruit of earlier days, and now looks to the' fruits of
the valley' in His ripening children. I often wish
that advanced believers were less cast down by their
views of what they are; but I suppose this is a part
of those fruits which belong to'the valley,' which I
am still too younag and too unripe to yield to the
Lord. May He find in His gardens fruit which is
sweet to His taste, whether we admire it or not."
Her health this winter continued stationary.  "I
am  keeping up very wonderfully," she says.  "I
don't suppose people can see any difference in me;




OUTWARD CIRCUMSTANCES.   263
but I keep up outwardly at great cost sometimes,
However, the trials I have I cannot ask to be without; for it is through them the gold is purified from
its dross."
Her friend has remarked, in the paragraphs quoted
in the beginning of this chapter, that " she seemed to
know so well when the Spirit was taking of the
things of Christ and showing them to her, and when
her own mind only was at work."  An illustration
occurs in a letter to the Hon., Mrs. C —, Feb. 2:
"I am so glad you have enjoyed part of Heb. ii.; it
was very sweet to myself in doing it, for it seemed to
be given me-and you know what that is. I think I
am now getting into the third chapter a little; but
it often seems to me as if God kept me waiting now,
until He has made me feel entirely without one
thought, before He begins to teach me. It is exceedingly humbling to feel that I have made this necessary."
And she adds: "How very, very different Christian experience is, when acted upon by different outward circumstances! It seems to me impossible that
one's friends should be able to know and make allowance for these changes: and that makes the omniscience of God so unutterably precious; for He can
-and one can go to Him with such confidence in
this knowledge far exceeding even our own! He
knows the mind of His Spirit in us, when all seems
to us in a maze."
In the same letter another thought occurs, which
throws not a little light upon her own intense friend



264     MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
ships. Alluding to IMr. Evans, she says: "I scarcely
think his letters equal his sermons; but they reveal
to me much of the secret of his being so useful and
so beloved-at least, I trace much of it to his intense
way of entering into the specific circumstances of his
friends. He does not deal in general, commonplace
remarks, but enters with minuteness and touching
sympathy into each person's peculiar state of mind
or body. And don't you think this tells powerfully
on a man's ministry, as well as in more private life?
It is a faint reflection of that individual contact with
God in each and every circumstance of life, which
makes the reality of religion so precious. I think
the only person I ever knew carry it out as Evans
seems to me to do, is Dr. —. He never lets you
feel that he is indifferent about you. I marvelled
once at his sympathy with a weak-minded friend of
ours at Torquay, who fretted about the death of a pet
bird till every one else laughed at her. And Jesus
condescends to sympathize in all our tiny daily vexations, as well as in our great troubles. 0! for a
heart of love like His!"
Each saint in glory, as he remembers all the ways
of the Lord towards him, shall exclaim, in adoring
thankfulness, " Thy gentleness hath made me great!"
Dear Adelaide keenly felt the so-frequent lack of this
Christ-like gentleness. "' He preached a sermon on
Sunday morning," she says, alluding to a preacher
whom she had heard, "on'How long halt ye?' It
was very powerful-I might say overpowering, for I
could scarcely bear it. Had it been combined with




THE LORD'S VIN EYARD.            265
the tenderness and gentleness which such a subject
required, it would have been enough to break the
hearts of many: but there was a hardness about it
which made it very painful to me. Oh! how unlike
Jesus we are in our feelings towards hardened sinners!"
Amidst the langour and fatigue of "' many a weary
hour," she still resolutely laboured for her Lord.
" Don't think any more of my outer man," she says,
Feb. 3 (1852): "it is intended to perish in due time;
and I really try to do my duty towards it while it
lasts.'We are but strangers, at best, down here;
and often earth seems desolate to me' though I have
so much to be thankful for and to make me happy.
My time is very fully occupied; and that forbids the
indulgence of sad and gloomy thoughts. I love to
think that we are here for a little while, with precious opportunities of sowing seed which may hereafter add immensely to our harvest of joy in glory.
This is often a great motive with me, to stir me up;
for I feel that I am losing not only present comfort,
but eternal enjoyment, when I trifle or sin away my
time. You have two precious little souls to train for
eternity, which must occupy most of your time. I
have only to work in other ways as best I can; but
I never find lack of work to be done in the Lord's
vineyard."
23




CHAPTER  XV I.
TERSTEEGEN describes, as " a real stratagem in the
inward conflict," the " occupation of the heart with
GOD."  It is like a child (he says) which, at the
sight of a dog, flees to its mother, and, instead of
fighting with him, hides itself with confidence in her
lap
Dear Adelaide was daily learning this " stratagem."
More and more intensely her soul went out upon
God. "I do so love," we find her writing, Feb. 15
(1852), " to think of each day's events as just the
developement of His eternal plan, all coming to pass
in perfect order, perfect harmony, and not one thing
hurried over or out of place. Don't you feel more
and more that it is Jesus Himself, His own glorious
Person, that is everything and everybody to you?
Now we truly see through a glass darkly; yet
glimpses, through the lattice of Him we love, are
very, very precious on our way Home."
"To think," she adds, "how soon we may see
Him-'see Iim as He is!' and then be like Him!'One thing have I desired of the Lord, to behold the
beauty of the Lord.' His beauty! what a sight it
will be then for us to gaze upon! and what a sight




SOFT WHISPERS.                267
it is to faith now!  I am  sometimes discouraged'because of the way,' and sometimes because of
inward conflict and innate depravity; but one sight
of HIM, or one sensible grasp of His hand, quite
seems to lift one up. Is not that wonderful-' Thou
hast holden me by Thy right hand?' like a friend
taking us by the hand, or like a father holding his
child by the hand!' His hands are as gold rings,'
enclosing us!"
And in another letter, she says: "There has
been something wrong about me lately; I have not
enjoyed the fellowship I have sometimes done with
the Father and the Son. I think it must have been'the lust of other things entering in,' which has
choked up the avenue, as it were, betwixt my soul
and Jesus, and has hindered the soft whispers of His
Spirit from falling on my ear. I am trying to confess
and forsake the sin, whatever it is, and to return
unto my resting-place in the bosom of Jesus."
It may be imagined with what feelings one who
thus lived upon the kernel regarded the teaching
which exalts the shell.  " Never can I forget yesterday," she writes, Feb. 9, to Mrs. C-   W —:
" You can scarcely conceive what I felt, in the midst
of what would otherwise have been a very good
sermon from Mr.  —, on the Spirit moving upon
the face of the waters (Gen. i. 2), to hear him come
out with the waters of baptism, and, while he
strongly denied baptismal regeneration, yet to as
strongly affirm that, where there was no conversion,
there was still a great benefit conferred in the doing




268    ME MOI I OF A. L. NE WION.
away of original sin!!! This he also partly unsaid;
hut I really don't know how, for I felt so stunned
that I retreated behind a pillar in the corner of the
pew, and only entreated that the stream of deadly
poison might not flow on through the congregation,
and that the dishonour done to the BLOOD, which
alone can take away sin, might be forgiven. I don't
know what to do; it has wounded me to the quick.
I feel, do you know, just as if I had been thrown into
a dungeon like Jeremiah, surrounded with filthiness
in this fallen world, from which there is no escape
until the word is given,' Come up higher!['" Do
Christian men, whose trumpet, in this matter, gives
so uncertain a sound, know how grievously they
wound some of the holiest of the saints? It is no
light matter to " offend one of these little ones."
Knowing how " tender" are the "grapes" of the
living Vine, she was ever on the alert to " take the
little foxes" which " spoil it."  "The very fact of
doing HIs work," she writes, " is often a great snare.
I do so intensely feel the need of incessant watchfulness. You know my thoughts upon the difference
betwixt this and self-examination; and I cannot tell
you how experience deepens them. I would be
always watching: then I should be perpetually
looking, and walking'in the light.' I want to be
as an empty vessel, ever being filled from above with
the rich droppings of the showers of God's blessings.
I suspect my great success in the Lord's vineyard has
tended to make me feel and act as though there were
a spring of living water in myself, instead of every




SINAITIC INSCRIPTIONS.              269
drop being to be derived from the Fountain of living
waters above. Don't you understand the sort of
thing I mean? It is to be self-emptied, self-abased
— it is self-renunciation and self-denial which my
soul now seems to need, in order that Jesus may
reign there and fill it."
And, in the same letter, she adds:-" You still
speak of wanting to know more of the liberty of
God's children; and I believe my danger has been
from feeling it so strongly as to be tempted by the
ever-busy Evil One to abuse it by a less careful walk.
Oh! dearest LA-, what a straight and narrow way
it is! and yet how inconceivably rich, and free, and
complete, and satisfying our portion is' in the Lord!'
To plead His blood, and have not a single stain of
guilt imputed to us; to plead His righteousness, and
be clothed in raiment so white and pure, that God's
eye admires our beauty; to stand, in fact,'complete
in Him,' and' accepted in the Beloved;' what can be
more blessed ".
Earnestly alive to whatever concerned the Word,
we find her writing thus: "Have you met with
Forster's work on the' Sinaitic Inscriptions'? How
intensely interesting it is! To think of Israel's wanderings being read upon the rocks, after the lapse of
so many centuries! Do you not think that it is very
remarkable that the decypherment should have taken
place just when Infidelity is growing so formidable?
And how very fearful the growth of Infidelity is I
I am  sure the only safety, in these days, is in keeping close to the Word. I scarcely think a greater
23~




270    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
work can be done in the Lord's vineyard than in
leading people deeper into its treasures. The pure
gold makes the world's dross useless."
And, alluding to one of her own Bible-searchings,
she writes, in another letter: " Have you ever particularly studied the 10th of Genesis? It is so. interesting, as givin gone a key to much of the ending
of things in Revelation. In Genesis, we have the
buds of those blossoms which in Revelation have
ripened into full, ripe fruit. For example, the meaning of the word Babylon, or Babel-' confusion, or
mixture'-throws such meaning into Rev. xvii. 1, 2,
15-1-8, and xviii. 2, 3. How plainly it shows that
God's mind has read the chapter of its history with
but one opinion, from the beginning to the end 1"
On Feb. 20 (1852), she writes to another, thus:' I have been able, of late, to say very little to any
one but God. In that verse-' My soul, wait thou
only upon God, for my expectation is from Him'what remarkable solitariness there is betwixt God
and the believer, is there not? May I send you' I
will be to you a God'? N     read your letter to a
very nice, poor man, who is dying, and he seemed
quite to drink it in, saying, in the middle of it,'Yes,
Jesus is very near-quite close to me.' It is, indeed,
when earthly stays are taken from us, that the Lord
becomes, as you say, everything to us. Will you
sometimes breathe a thought into the ear of Jesus
for me a?"
To a "beloved Persis," in humble life, whose fellowship was very pleasant to her, she writes: "Will




" I AM SICK OF LOVE." 2"71
you get your half-holiday on Thursday, and give aa
much as you possibly can to me? You can't come
too early; and, oh! may Jesus bring such a blessing
with you as shall make us both cry out-' Stay me
with flagons, comfort me with apples, for I am sick
of love!' My text for you is John vi. 57. How full
of life it is!'As the living Father hath sent me,
and I live by the (living) Father, so he that eateth
me (the living Bread), even he shall live by me.' I
do so love to think that Jesus is no longer the crucified One, no longer buried in the grave; but,'rather,'
that He is risen again, exalted, seated at the right
hand of the Majesty on high. Dear M -, does it
not raise you above the level of earthly trials, to feel
your life hid in Him up there-' in God?'"
And to the same, on Feb. 25: "W Will you oblige
me by using the enclosed to give yourself fires in
your bedroom during this severe weather l For the
sake of your dear brother, do be persuaded to take
care of your own body, remembering that it is dear
to Jesus, for He has bought it at no small price. A
new house is so dangerous in such weather: but
there is One who cares for you, who will doubtless
take care of you in it. My wish for you shall be
what dear Mr. C     asked for us one winter at
Torquay-that the rooms may be always lighted up
with the sunshine of His presence. I can't tell you
how I enjoy seeing you, dear M —. What will
heaven be, to have Jesus Himself, and all dear to
Him and dear to us, to be around us for ever!"
Another of her maturing experiences she indicates,




272    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
March 3, thus; "Pride is peculiarly devilish, and it
is where I think Satan gets great advantage over me.
But there have been times, lately, when I sank into
the most abject nothingness before God. No words
can utter the feelings of moments like these; they
are lessons which, as you most truly say, one must
learn for one's self. I do feel how much there is to
learn: it seems to be a feeling which grows very
much on Christians, I think; one seems so increasingly to pant after more intimacy with Jesus-and
that must, of course, involve oneness of mind and
feeling with Him. And, oh! what a suffering life
His was down here! Nothing has been more impressed on me lately than this: and all I have to
learn out of suffering I feel more and more comes so
infinitely short of what He felt. His experience in
the Psalms is truly marvellous; and painful as one's
own experience so often is, when one really feels
what the Psalms say, I still do think it is positively
comforting to know it is'fellowship' with Jesus."
And still another feature of that deepening experience she notes: "I have been peculiarly tried by
the sins of others. At every turn I see or hear
something which I know must grieve' the Spirit of
holiness,' and am for ever joining myself in doing the
same things along with others; and sometimes the
sins of believers, and sometimes the sins of those
who quite set our Lord at nought, seem as if they
would crush me,  Oh! is it not like going under a
wheel full of iron spikes, to be made to hear unholy
things said of One so dear as Jesus? But if we feel




THE LORD S PLANTS.               273
it, how infinitely more cutting it must have been to
Him! Oh! what words those are-' I am the song
of the drunkard!' To think of Jesus hearing Himself on the lips of a drunken man, whilst He had
come down from the realms of eternal purity to rescue us sinners by His blood!  But I cannot say in
words what such thoughts as these lead one tolanguage seems to fail one completely."
One day, in conversation with a deeply tried friend,
she said-" Don't we fail, as Christians, in not seeing
-all our sufferings to be a faint reflection of Christ's?
I don't think we half believe that He really had the
feelings of sadness, of distress, of inward desolateness, which He had and which we have. And yet I
believe that when we are tried, the truest comfort
and strength are derived from seeing our trials to be
a participation of His."
And, writing to another, she says: "Have you ever
read'Payson's Memoir'? I don't wonder at Hewitson's love for it. Is it not very interesting to you
to watch the different ways in which the Lord trains
His plants, especially those which are to bear much
fruit? I like looking through memoirs, just to see
this. The Memoir of J. H. Evans suits me exactly
just now: his was such deep experience; but I
feel throughout his memoir the lack of that brightness which the hope of the Lord's coming gives,
and which lights up Hewitson's Memoir with such
brilliancy."
And she adds: "How kind it is of you to think
of me! It is the love of Jesus running through you




274    MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
from His own heart. All you have told me of Mr.
Krause is most precious. I do increasingly love to
hear of God's dealings with His children; it has
seemed -ately to tell me so much of Himself. IHlow
suddenly he was admitted into the presence of his
long-loved Master! I wonder how soon all the
Lots will be taken out of Sodom.  A closer walk
with HIM is what I want so much. I almost always
seem at a little distance from Him. Oh! when shall
the clouds of sin be for ever dispelled by the unclouded sunshine of His presence in glory everlasting?"
In her own genial and touching way she writes,
March 9 (1852), to her humble friend, thus: "Truly
my heart often longs for communion with yours; and
I believe I should often have written, had I not been
so sad. I am certain it is chiefly bodily depression;
but do pray for me, will you? that the light of the
beaming countenance of Jesus may shine-on me and
gladden me. I hope He shines on you. Will you
accept this little hyacinth? It does not smell so sweet
as it should do; but I think it will shed a sweeter
fragrance in your house than in our's. It is white,
and I know you like white flowers —they remind you
of the spotless purity of Him in whose' white raiment' you are arrayed. Oh! how we feel the need
of our being clothed in our white, blood-washed robes,
when we would enter into'the holiest' to appear
under the very eye of our heart-searching, rein-trying,
holy, holy, holy God!"
The " sadness" here named she alludes to in another




THE KINGDOM.                 275
letter: "I have felt so unable lately to think, or read,
or love, or pray, that it has been rather a dreary time
with me; but how thankful I ought to be that I have
had no doubts about being a child of God! Don't
you think a negative state toward God is far better
than anything positively evil, in contact with the Evil
One? At least, when one is feeble, it is very tender
dealing to be shielded from the attacks of the' roaring lion'-is it not? I should be very unhappy about
myself, only that I am really sure it is physical infirmity which makes me so unable to feel; and I believe it is a thorn in the flesh which is sent expressly
to humble me, so that I almost value it whilst it
grieves me."
Turning from herself and her experience to Christ
and His experience, she writes, March 19' "Realding Mark xiv., and comparing it with Luke xxii., I
have been so exceedingly struck with the way in
which thoughts of'the Kingdom' seemed to fill His
mind, as He drew nearer to His greatest sufferings.
In this, Psalms xxii., lxix., and cii. are perfectly
parallel; the extremest sufferings and the brightest
glory seem  brought close together.  And has it
struck you how increasingly'the Kingdom' seemed
to occupy Him as He drew near to it-so that He
spent the forty days after His resurrection chiefly (I
suppose)' in speaking of the things pertaining to the
Kingdom?"'
A kindred thought is given in another letter,
thus: "Do you remember that day when dear
Mr. C ---- first gave us the Lord's Supper together,




276    MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
and H      B —--- was with us? It has struck me
lately, in thinlking of Melchizedec, that his bringing
forth' bread and wine' to Abraham after his victory
is a remarkable foreshadowing of the day when Christ
will, in a certain sense, exchange His priestly work
for His royal character, and, when all His enemies
are put down, He enters on His reign of righteousness and peace, and fulfils His word in Luke xxii.
16-18:'I will not any more eat thereof, until it
be fulfilled in the kingdom of God,' and' I will not
drink of the fruit of the vine, until the kingdom of
God shall come.' Do you not think that the typical
character of Melchizedec throws light upon those
difficult words? Until this connecting them  with
Melchizedech's royal priesthood struck me, I never
felt to have a glimpse of light as to their true meaning."
Another of the experiences of the Man of Sorrows
shl  alludes to elsewhere: "How intensely wonderful the sympathy of Jesus is in all the varied sufferings of this life-is it not? How wonderful the
tears He shed over Lazarus, the inward groanings of
His troubled spirit, the bitter trial of finding no one
who could go all lengths with Him in what He felt!
Have you noticed in Luke xxii., that it was in the
supper-chamber, on His last night on earth, and
when they must have been round the very table
where they had just been partaking of the outward
symbols of His lowest degradation, that the disciples
began to contend and strive about which should be
the greatest? I think it must have been so deeply




"A  PLACE  BY ME."              277
painful to Jesus on that last night to witness it, and
so trying to Iim to hear their'strife.' To me there
is something so exquisitely painful in hearing a sharp
contention about anything; so, what must it have
been to HIM?"
Once more in the sunshine, her face again shone.
"Have you noticed," she writes, "those four wonderful words (Exod. xxxiii. 21)-' A place by me?'
Is it not, of all places on the earth, the place one
would choose to be in above every other? And I
think there is something so striking in the thought
of the Holy One placing the sinner by His side!
But it is all explained by its being'in the cleft of
the Rock'-' that Rock is Christ.' I am thankful to
tell you I have been permitted to spend many happy
days lately, as if with Jesus —His Word has been so
precious to me, and Himself so dear. I shall never
be near enough to'irn till I am actually with Him.
I am  so glad you are feeling these intense desires
after Him: is it not like the parched earth waiting
on Him for showers of rain? And it shall come,'in its season.' But we have surely got the earnest
already in our desires for it."
In a house she was visiting ont day, she met a
German governess, to whom she spoke kindly of the
"great salvation."  " I found her," she writes, April
28, "a simple-minded young creature, anxious to be
a Christian, yet hardly knowing how. She had been
with a clergyman at —, before she came there:
but when I asked her if they were Christian people
she had been with, she said she really did not know
24




278     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
— they were called so, but they did not seem to live
as the Bible would make Christians live, and she
could not well understand who were Christians and
who were not! Oh! how  it did make me feel
ashamed of our traitor-like character!"
And to another: " Thinking this morning of you
and your troubles, that verse occurred to me —' I will
bring the blind by a way which they know not.'
(Isa. xlii. 16.) I was supposing a father with several
blind children, leading them through the streets of
London. Is it not a fit illustration of our heavenly
Father's leading of us through this trackless world?
and does not everything depend on the confidence
we feel in the hand which is leading us? Oh!
how safe we are, though blind and utterly unable to
see our way through the crowd of harassing events
surrounding us!"
And to an old schoolfellow: "One thing lately
has so pre-occupied my mind that I have left nearly
everything for it; it has been a craving after intercourse with God Himself, which nothing less could
satisfy-and I like to spend my time on my knees as
much as I can. I can't call it playing, but'waiting
upon God,' as it were: and then, with the Bible
open before me, it is almost as if He Himself were
personally present, saying the words-they seem so
really to come from Him. Oh! to be present with
the Lord! what bliss it will be!"
The Bible's adaptedness to our manifold necessities she was ever delighting to exhibit.  " Is it not
very beautiful," she writes, " to see Job (chapter xix.




4"R  E  DEMPTIO N."'          279
25-27) taking that particular view of his Redeemer
which was most exactly suited to his own case?
His body being so afflicted, and so much the cause
of his suffering, it seems to me as if he were given
to look onward in faith to the' day' when it should
be'redeemed,' and so purified that in it he should
see God! Paul, again, in writing of' redemption'
when one might imagine him to have been in health,
speaks of'waiting for the redemption of the body'
rather in connexion with the renewal of'creation.'
Don't you think there is an interesting distinction
betwixt the two states of mind, just arising fi'om the
different outward circumstances?" And she adds:
"How wonderful it is, dear   ~, that I may call
myself your sister in and through that'Redeemer,'
our kinsman-is it not? May you enjoy much
sweet intercourse with Him, in holy intimacy with
Him, in that character i"
And, on May 27 (1852), she appeals to another
thus: " You say you are' in wretched spirits:' what,
then, shall I say to comfort and cheer you? Why,
of all things, I know nothing so comforting or so delightfully cheering as to look up above all the changing scenes of this changing life, to the serenity, and
beauty, and exquisite glories of the world to come,
where nothing needs change because all is perfect
and satisfactory, and so good that it cannot be made
better i Look up there, till your eyes are so rivetted
that you forget the toil, and tumult, and din of London; and, what is better still, look till you are
Ichanged fiom glory to glory.'  Has it ever struck




280    MEMOIR OF' A. L. NEWTON.
you that transformation of character actually takes
place by' beholding glory?' I don't believe we have
any idea of the effect which'looking' with the eyes
of our mind has upon us. May you experience the
relief of such a'look,' for the cure of all the wretchedness of your spirits!"
And, on July 8, she writes: "I have had some
long and happy talks lately with Mr. G: he is
like one who has nearly passed through his Sionward journey. It is seldom one can meet with such
ripened and matured Christians; and I found' a rest
in my spirit' with him  which I have not known
since I was at Torquay; no, nor even there, for I
was comparatively young in experience myself then.
You will say, So I am now; and it is true: and yet
I often feel as if I had been long enough on the
borders of eternity to have learned a good deal since
then.  Oh! what a difference that makes! Was
your illness dangerous? I am so interested in knowing how others feel when they think they are near
Home, especially if they are turned ba:k again a little
longer to sojourn in the wilderness."




CHAPTER XVIII.
IN a garden near Milan, in the spring of 372, a
young man lay one morning under a fig-tree, moaning and bathed in tears. " Take and read!" cried a
voice to him from a neighboring house —" Take and
read! take and read!"  A neglected Bible flashed
upon his soul; and he hastened to a friend with whom
a short while before he had left a roll of Paul's
Epistles. " I seized the roll," says he, describing the
scene, " and read in silence the chapter on which my
eye first alighted, the thirteenth of Romans.'Put
ye on' it said, in closing,' the Lord Jesus Christ, and
make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts
thereof.' I did not want to read any more; nor
was there any need-every doubt was banished."
Augustine, from that hour, was on the Lord's side.
"A passage of God's Word," says Gaussen, alluding
to the occasion, "had kindled that glorious luminary which was to enlighten the Church for ten
centuries, and whose beams gladden her even to the
present day."
The same W~ord was Augustine's daily joy. And
in the measure in which he was a Bible-Christian, he
grew in the knowledge of God and in the graces of
the life of God.
24"'




282    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
Adelaide Newton also owed to that Word her daily
growth in heavenliness. Talking one day about the
words, "Whatsoever He shall hear, that shall I-e
speak," she quoted the passage —" The Spirit searcheth
all things, yea, the deep things of God," and added ~'" Don't you think there is not a truth of God He
cannot lead us into, if only we were able to bear it?
I have been so struck with the thought of His
searching out these things. And the word," she
continued, "seems to imply it: it is,'to trace, to investigate, to explore'-as if He delighted to explore
the infinite depths of His own eternal mind, and then
reveal them to us!"
H{ere is the Bible-student in her chamber.  "I
often feel inclined to smile," she writes, July 15
(1852), "at my sofa, with a Hebrew  Bible and
Lexicon at one side, a Greek Testament and Lexicon
at the other, and one or two English Bibles always
about it, too. I long only more and more to make
my Bible the study of my life. Precious little volume! what wonders it reveals!"
And a farther glimpse into the chamber is given
elsewhere: "I am left alone just now. I enjoy the
quiet solitude so much, often not seeing any one for
hours together"' His Omnipresence my sweet company.'
I am fancying you all solitary and bereft of visible
creature-society. But you are at least surrounded by
three Friends, who can look at you, and converse
with you, and make your heart burn with intenser




SO LIT-UD E.               283
joy than ever you felt with a creature-friend. Like
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, and the Son of
God, you may be in the furnace; but you have three
Divine Persons with you there! they were-three
human and One Divine."
And in another letter, she writes: " Is your mind
enjoying any special portion of the Word just now?
I am like a bee, gathering in something which is very'sweet to my taste,' as I roam  about in the Lord's
rich pastures, yet knowing nothing of the science of
the plants I am feasting on, nor able, during my short
span of life, to explore the yet unknown fields of
delight which even the Word of God could reveal to
me. Still I am almost entirely occupied with it; and
I think I can truly say, 6 His fiuit is pleasant to my
taste.' "
An attack this summer, when on a visit to D,
again reminded her of the frailness of the tenure
which kept her on this mortal scene. It came in the
form of an overwhelming prostration. " I cannot
say I am much better yet," she writes, on her return
home; "nor do I at all understand myself. No one
has found out here that I am not as well as ever; and
I cannot tell them."
Dear Adelaide's religion was not an exotic, living
in the solitude and in the sick-chamber, but unable
to face the world's rough winds.  Before her first illness, and again during the last two years of comparative health, it had proved itself a hardy plant. And
if, in the sequel, we find her, amidst the privacy and
the sharpness of new sufferings, adorned with a new




284    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
holiness, it is only a new phase of that inner life. which
had already been nurtured so abundantly and so tenderly by the divine IHusbandman.
"Such sharpness shows the sweetest Friend;
Such cuttings rather heal than rend;
And such beginnings touch their end."
On Aug. 7 (1852), she writes: "My body is a
very great burden to my spirit.  When shall it be
changed for one like that of Jesus. May He reveal
much of Himself to you hour by hour! Hebrews
has been interesting me exceedingly.  I am thinking
just now of chap. ii. 10: there is such a depth of
nmeaning, that I am utterly lost in it; but if it were
fit in God to perfect our Leader through suffering,
of course His followers must be led along the same
pathway."  And again: " Oh! how I long for a
near place in the Body (of which we are the members) to the heart of Jesus! that every pulse might
beat in close unison with His! that I might always
move in that precise direction in which the Head
designed!"
And a few weeks later, she says: " I am so delighting just now in those precious words-' Surely,
I come quickly.' Does it not make your heart throb
with holy joy to think how soon Jesus may come,
and fetch us all to be His bride fbr ever? There will
be no more little irritating vexations, and no more
of these greater tribulations, then. And God's estimate of the time which has to elapse first is so
comforting.  Seven times within four verses (John




GOD'S "MANIFOLD D   GRACE.    285
xvi. 16-19), the Lord repeats the words,'A little
while.' And then that text (Rev. xxi. 6)-' And Ho
said unto me, It is done 1' does it not convey the
idea that God Himself A as rejoicing in the completion of His work? and if so, don't you think it is a
great source of sustaining comfort to a tried believer,
to see each day's trials as the successive steps leading on to that blessed consummation?"
Alluding to two friends who had visited her, she
thus delineates God's " manifold" grace: "I am
sadly afraid you did not get the spiritual refreshment
or strength which you hoped for. I never like those
large parties; and you had not even the quiet hour
with him which I had. He was, beyond anything,
delightful when I was alone with him: he talked
to me of Christ, and gave Him such true pre-eminence. He was so calm  and subdued, and yet so
brilliantly happy; it was like sunshine to have him
in my room. In fact, he so perfectly enchants me,
that I am glad to have the disappointed feeling in
him, that in some of the deepest feelings of my heart
he has no sympathy. Just where  ~  sympathises
so deeply he seems a stranger to the path I have, in
my measure, trodden. And the reverse is equally
true-where the one is depressed and unable to soar,
the other calmly, yet with the truest magnificence,
seems to me to dwell. Is not this the creature dwelt
in by the Saviour, who shines forth in eact through
different mediums?  And are not we deeply taught
by each to love HIM in them  as streams of living
water, yet not the Fountain?"




286     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
The Jew and his vacant Land could not fail to
engage the thoughts and sympathies of one who so
earnestly pondered the Word.  "I really do not
wish to trouble you to write," she says, in a letter to
Colonel G, "unless you can tell us anything
about the chosen people, so dear to the heart of
God that they ought to be dear to us. All you tell
me of their present state and feelings is deeply interesting. I am glad, too, that you still purpose to
publish your Tour. I cannot express how my heart
responded to your remark, that God ever checks
human impatience and keeps us waiting. Sometimes'an horror of great darkness' creeps over me, when
I think of all that is involved in Israel's restoration;
but the'end' is'peace, and not evil,' and we must
keep our eye fixed on that."
Another subject also occupied her thoughts at
this period.  "Egypt," she writes, "has rather been
dividing my thoughts with Jerusalem.  I felt that
Forster's decypherments, if true, were so important
in the cause of truth, that, having Egyptian hieroglyphics within reach  at the Derby Museum, I
resolved to test them, as far as I could, for myself.
I studied Forster's'Pharaonic Alphabet' very carefully before I went to look at the mummy; and you
may readily imagine my delight on instantly recognizing the identical characters upon its back, in two
long inscriptions. I copied them on the spot, and
afterwards sent a copy to Mr. Forster, with each
letter of the inscription put side by side with what I
believed to be the corresponding English letter. Mr,




EGYPTIAN  HIEROGLYPHICS.   287
Forster says I have'read the characters with the
greatest accuracy, and enabled him to give a full
decypherment of them.'"
And, some months later, writing to the Rev. Mr.
Forster, she says: "The eager interest with which
I read your most kind letter, with its accompanying
decypherments, you can probably imagine, but I
could not attempt to express. I never anticipated
so much success in my endeavours to ascertain for
myself the truth of your decypherments.  I hope
you were satisfied when you saw the bustard. But
the point which has most weight with me is, that I
should have fixed upon the only unknown hieroglyphic in either inscription which was not a letter,
as the one which thoroughly puzzled me. I think
this is immensely conclusive, in favour of the truth
of your alphabet. You do not need such proofs for
yourself; but, for a stranger to have met with such
success, is an important, independent testimony-is
it not? You are perfectly at liberty to make any
use you like of my drawing, provided you say nothing
of me."
In the same letter, she gives another specimen of
her researches, thus: " I was looking out some words
in Exod. xxviii., when I came to the' pomegranate,'
and when I saw, to my great delight, that the Hebrew
word is ),nw —-so like raman, that I hoped I might
find something agreeing with your decypherment in
the tablet from  Osiris.  Is it not singular, that
Parkhurst should give this definition of the root,=71 —' To cast, throw, project;' in Kal-'-' to cast or




288    MElMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
throw into some calamity or evil;''to throw into
some disagreeable situation or circumstances, by
deceit and fraud. Infrtaudem impellere aut injicere,
to deceive, cheat, throw, or fling'? In that inscription you gave the word' wahar,' as' casting a man
into something from which he cannot get out;' and
the words immediately preceding the word raman,
were'dissembling,' and'an accuser, or deceiver.'
So that the Hebrew root suggests the very ideas
actually to be found in words surrounding the pictorial representations of the'pomegranate tree!"'
And, a few days afterwards, Mr. Forster replies:
"I have to thank you very cordially for your last letter, and for its highly valuable confirmation of my
renderings of the inscriptions surrounding the picture
of the Fall.  The sense of the root tr, which you
adduce from the Hebrew lexicons, is indeed most important; for, while it independently corroborates my
versions of the adjacent terms, it shows anew the
close affinity betwixt the Hebrew and Arabic, and
supplies a valuable correction of a grave error of the
lexicographers."
And, in April, 1853, she writes: "I need scarcely
say with what pleasure I am anticipating the third
part of the' Primeval Language.' The subject grows
in interest every day; but I have regretted my inability through illness to pursue my own investigations of it."
These scattered fragments of a very full correspondence are given, not for their subject-matter, but
as another specimen of Adelaide's earnest zeal in pro



GROWING IN  HEAVENL. NESS.   289
secuting any inquiry which engaged her. The hieroglyphics we find her " studying almost day and night,
the subject taking entire possession of her."  It was
not, however, to indulge a mere intellectual taste,
but, as she tells us, "because it bore upon God's
truth," and because she was "convinced that these
are days when everything connected with the East is
of vast importance,"
Meanwhile she grew in heavenliness. " The stream
runs past," she writes to an afflicted friend at Torquay; "and, I dare say, you often come within sight
of the harbour now. But if you, and I, and others,
are bid to tarry here to dispense the food which Jesus would give to save the lives of those who' perish
with hunger,' we may well do so with gladsome
hearts. To be hid in God with Christ seems to me
the very highest possible pitch of exaltation!-and
yet this is our privilege now; and hereafter, when
Christ'appears,' so shall we' appear,'-to display to
angels, and principalities, and powers, the manifold
wisdom of our God! They shall see why your life
is still prolonged-don't you think?-and wonder
and adore the depth of the riches of His wisdom and
knowledge."
And her eye was still fixed on GOD. "May I send
you to-day," she writes, " this verse from the 139th
Psalm:'How precious also are thy thoughts unto
me, O God! how great is the sum of them!' There
is such a striking contrast in that Psalm betwixt the
felt poverty of our thoughts of God and the rich profusion of His thoughts of us! And just the same
25




290     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
of His knowledge of us, contrasted with our inability to know Him.'Thou hast known me; thou
knowest my downsitting and mine uprising. THou
understandest my thoughts afar off.'' Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot
attain unto it.' This only we seem able to say; and
don't you think there is felt relief in saying it-' Marvellous are thy works, and that my soul knoweth
right well' We know and feel how little we can
know of the unsearchable greatness of our God. But
is it not indeed'precious' to be assured that His
th~oughts of us are more in' number than the sand l'
How'very great' it makes one feel He is! I often
feel now so overwhelmed with thoughts like these,
and how impossible it is to say anything to Him or
of Him, that I am quite dumb."
And in another letter: "I had a very happy, solemn time last night. Only I am almost overwhelmed with the immensity of God's greatness and the
sense of my own insignificance;-all that I can do
seems such child's play! I am such a mere specksuch an infinite atom-in creation! Surely Christians must be driven soon to make greater sacrifices
in doing the Lord's work before He comes."
The conversation turned one day upon " the very
close connexion betwixt the joys of heaven and the
joys of earth."
"Will -not there be," said a friend, "a distinct
calling to remembrance there of the things done in
the body? Every one is said to'receive the things
done in the body 1"'




THE C'DAYLIGHT  OF ETERNITY."  291
"Yes," said dear Adelaide; " and don't you think it
seems the great principle on which God has ever
acted, to produce an increase of good through the
permission of evil or trouble 2 I was so struck with
this last night," she proceeded, "in looking for the
Hebrew of Isa. lxv. 17,' new heavens,' and the Greek
of Rev. xxi. 5,' I will make all things new.' In both
the word has the sense of'renovation;' and our glorified bodies coming out of these bodies of humiliation
-life out of death-glory out of afflictions (as in 2 Cor.
iv. 17), all seem to tell the same thing —do they not?"
Another day, talking with a friend who was cast
down by seeing little fruit, she said: "But in the
broad daylight of eternity you will know (what you
cannot well know now) how often God has spoken
through you words in season to the weary-the very
work which He instructed Jesus how to do! (Isa. 1.
4.) Oh, how precious it is," she added, "to have any
kind of fellowship with HIM!"
And on another occasion, conversing with a muchtried disciple, she said: "'DDon't you find the feeling
grows upon you, that very few words are necessary
in speaking to the Lord? He reads each thought;
and as one realizes this more, don't you think it
takes off very much of what, in earlier experience,
one might call the burden of prayer? Does not it
turn it rather into fellowship and continual breathing
in the spirit of prayer?-and that, you know, is so
different from the set speaking of certain seasons. I
can't express exactly what I mean; but it is like
thinking all one's thoughts aloud in His presence.




292    MIEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
Oh, for more of it! Oh, to have no silent moments
towards God!"
Martin Luther, in his Will, wrote: " Lord God, I
thank thee that thou hast been pleased to make me a
poor and indigent man upon earth. I have neither
house, nor land, nor money, to leave behind me."
Dear Adelaide was enabled, with a like "thankfulness," to rejoice in her peculiar discipline. " I have
just been reading," she writes, "' Sickness; its Trials
and Blessings,' by's recommendation; and I
have been telling her that, sound and useful as the
practical advice is, I cannot like the general tone of
the book-it breathes so little of the glorious liberty
of the children, and so much of the hard and severe
bondage of obedience, making the' will of God' a
thing to be submitted to rather than loved. The
writer seems to me to have sought support more
through the Church than through Jesus. Oh, how
tenderly IHE sympathizes! and how completely it is
in fellowship with Him that we learn to bear, and
suffer, and endure unto the end i"
And she adds: " I do so feel the truth of what
you said in your last, that it is the secret guiding of
His eye, and the discipline of one's spirit moment by
moment, which seems the reality of the work of
grace. This has been very much brought to my
mind by Ps. lxxi. 17, which is, literally,' 0 God,
Thou hast disciplined me from my youth.' The Hebrew word is the same as that used for' a goad' for
breaking in oxen. He has been unweariedly training
us from our youth until now: most truly you and I




T H A NK FULNE SS.            2993
can feel it has been so, can we not? And may we
not well repeat the constant prayer, as David did,'Teach me Thy statutes,' go on training me? for it is
the same word all through Ps. cxix., except in verses
33 and 102, where teaching means rather guidance
or direction in a right way or course of action. Then
we need not complain or bemoan ourselves, like
Ephraim, as bullocks untrained (or unaccustomed to
the yoke), undisciplined, and wayward. The verse I
should like to send you especially is Ps. lxxi. 5,'Thou
art my hope, O Lord God' (signifying, as in Rom.
viii. 20, and in Phil i. 20, a stretching forth the
head and neck, with earnest observation, to see when
the person expected shall appear). Oh, for this longing after Jesus! and surely it arises out of the words
that follow, "Thou art my trust from my youth.'
The object we have been clinging to, trusting in, and
relying upon! must we not long to see Him whom
unseen we adore?"
And, in another letter, she says: "I grieve for your
uncomfortableness; but I am sure it is a proof of love.
And that is a furnace which will do you no harm.
Some time ago, I remember thinking that God was
teaching me to justify Him in all His trying dealings; but really of late this feeling has been changed
for one of real thankfulness for each and every sorrow He sends me. It is the family-rod; and I dare
not ask to be the child that is not to have its waywardness crushed and its will broken. So I thank
Him for doing it; and I thank Him for enabling me
to kiss the rod."
25*




294    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
She continued to " watch for souls."  Writing to
a young friend who seemed to -be "halting between
two opinions," she says: " I did not know, till after
you were gone home, that you were to be'confirmed'
to-morrow, or I am sure I could not have seen you
without giving you a text, and telling you how very
earnestly I wish that it may please God to draw you
with the cords of love, and to make you'His child'
to all eternity. A very dear girl, whom I knew at
Torquay, was' confirmed' a few weeks ago; and writing to me beforehand, she said,'Oh, what a happy
day it will be, when I publicly declare my determination to be a follower of that precious Jesus who
gave Himself for me!' And when she wrote again
to give an account of the day, she added,' I was
admitted to the privilege of partaking of the Lord's
Supper. I seemed so fully to realize my acceptance
in 1" The Beloved." In the midst of the pleasures I
am expecting this summer, do pray for me that I
may
"' Remember, in my gladness,'Tis HIS love gives me all.'"
I only quote from her letters, instead of writing
myself, because she says exactly the things I should
like to say to you, and they come so much fresher in
that way than if I were to seem to sermonize! She
lives with a young cousin who is very, very gay; and
therefore it is no easy thing for her to determine to
be a decided Christian. But she loves Jesus heartily;
and what we love we find means to follow. This
makes me earnestly desire for you that the love of




THE ONWARD JOURNEY.    295
Jesus may take possession of your heart, and be what
Dr. Chalmers called' the great expulsive principle,'
which drives everything else but Jesus out-the
world, self, and everything. The text I should like
to send you is Jer. 1. 5, and especially the words,'a
perpetual covenant.' I shall only add to all this,
that, as far as my knowledge of religion goes, I can
truly say I owe all my happiness to it, and believe it
to be the happiest thing in the world. So I can honestly recommend it."
Her onward journey brought with it new sorrows
and new joys:' Like light and shade upon a waving field,
Coursing each other, while the flying clouds
NTow hide and now reveal the sun."
Writing to one beloved friend, she says: "Thost
words,' The sorrows of my heart are enlarged,' have
struck me so much this week as so truthfully giving
expression to the experience of the advancing Christian.  Don't you think that each day seems to open
up some new avenues of sorrow, as if it were continually finding some fresh channels in which to flow
through our ploughed-up hearts?  And the far
advanced Christian must find, both in the deeper
views of his own sin, and in the fresh calls for sympathy with each new sinner he meets on the Sionward way, that the sorrows of his heart are enlarged
and enlarging with every onward step he takes."
And to another:  " This morning I have been thinking of those words in Ps. cxiv. 2, 3,' Judah was His




296    MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
sanctuary, and Israel His dominion. The sea saw it,
and fled.' When the sea saw God in His people, it
fled before them! Does it not tell us that it is God
in us which clears our way through the most impenetrable obstacles, and that seas of trouble will flee
before us when the presence of the Lord is manifested
in us?"
And as she journeys onward, she is found clinging
with a very peculiar love to certain fellow-pilgrims.
" It is interesting to me," she writes to Mrs. CWV, Oct. 25 (1852), " to hear you speak of your
experience now. I am so struck with the humbling
experience which those Christians who have lived
actively for God get in the autumnal stage. There
is something to me perfectly exquisite in the chastened and subdued spirit of an aged Christian. I
wonder that I like it, when I am so unsubdued myself: but I do; and I only long to make them feel
how'the glory of the Lord' is seen upon them.
(Isa. Ix. 2.) I wish you knew how much your selfrenunciation teaches me-you would scarcely mourn
any more."
In this region where she now journeys, another
experience comes. "I have felt much more," she
writes, Dec. 21 (1852), "of the Devil's presence and
working of late than I ever did before. I seem to
feel so much, especially, that he is fighting with
GOD, in every case of a sinner's resistance of Jesus."
And in another letter: "I had a sharp conflict,
some days ago, literally with the powers of darkness,
but I can't help telling you how one text helped me




A NEW  YE AR.                297
— it must have been given. to me-' Take the shield
of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all
the fiery darts of the wicked one.' It did seem to
me so wonderful at that moment, that the fiery darts
which one might almost say are lighted at hell's
unquenchable fire, should be quenched, one after
another, as they touch the shield of faith."
And again: " The state of the world is painfully
interesting. I cannot tell you how strongly I have
felt lately the contest which is carrying on betwixt
God and the devil, and the broad line of separation
between the travellers to the One in heaven and those
to the other in hell-the great end which everything
is tending to. I seem as if I had no middle ground
left me to stand upon; and the. realizing of this is
immensely helpful in making you feel that you must
act as on the Lord's side."
Entering on a new year (1853), she writes in her
Diary: "Began the year in the Lord's house on
earth: is it a pledge of ending it in the house
above?  Began it by commemorating Jesus' dying
love. May that love be realized daily till time shall
end 
"'I want as a traveller to haste,
Nor forethought nor anxious contrivance to waste,
On the tent only pitched for a day.' 
And, writing to a friend, she says: "May I send you
the words I have chosen for myself, as expressing my
earnest longing for nearer communion with Jesus
during the new year —' Let Him  kiss me with the




298    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
kisses of His mouth'? That is His drawing near to
us-is it not?-and in such a way as to make us feel
His love, and know that He is manifesting Himself
unto us as He doth not unto the world."  And to
another, on Jan. 7: "Oh! that the victory which
Jesus hath wrought over death may banish every
painful thought, and enable you, in holy fellowship
of mind with Him, to make the present a time of
triumphant joy to you!"
Lighter occupations also were consecrated to God.
"I have been painting in oils a little lately," she
writes, " for a rest to my too active head, which cannot bear such constant thought. Yet it is very, very
tempting to be always mentally at work." And, another day, she writes: " I have actually spent seven
whole days on oil-painting, which I find easier to me
than water-colours.  The first day I painted one
pretty little picture of the Garden of Gethsemane.
Then I did the Sinaitic Inscriptions, which took two
days; and I have done two others since. If I can
only paint without self-gratification and self-exaltation, I think the talent may be turned to account."
The talent was of no common order; and the account
to which she turned it, was to aid the Irish Missions
and other Christian enterprises.
As the season advanced, the weather "tried her a
good deal, giving her such sleepless nights." "I cannot help looking on with adoring love," she writes,
"at all God's dealings with me; there is such an unfolding of His manifold wisdom in the mingling of
joy and sorrow in them all. I can truthfully say,




DI AR Y.                 299
that I would not now be without one needed stroke,
or one hour of preparation for my place and work in
the heavenly temple.
"' As hour after hour passeth by,
Mark'd by its own peculiar joy or woe,
Which Jesus means should tell upon the heart;
Behind each hour, 0 may some stroke be left,
Made for eternity upon each living stone 1'
How miserable one would be rendered throughout
eternity, if it were possible for us to escape some trying part of our discipline here, and so be admitted
there with some hideous deformity which should mar
our symmetry for ever! But the house will be finished in all its parts-is not that comforting? even
though years of preparation be still needed."
In her Diary she writes: ".Feb. 27. Sun.-' The
blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanseth us from all
sin.' Another Sabbath at home; read Job xix. I
feel more sure than ever that the right thing is, to
take each sin, the moment the conscience feels it, to
the blood of Jesus, and, there  having it'once
purged,' to remember it'no more.' I don't think
of one scriptural example in which a forgiven sin was
charged upon the conscience a second time by God;
and I suppose that the year's sins were never expected to be again brought to mind after the scapegoat had borne them away into the land of forgetfulness. Oh! for grace to plunge into the ocean of
Divine forgiveness!"
And, somewhat later, she writes to a friend thus:




300     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
" I have had no time for any drawing since I
wrote you, save hieroglyphics; but I hope to return
to it some day, if I live still on this lower earth and
have more time given me to trade with. If not, 1
will gladly bid it all farewell, to go to Jesus.  The
world is in a most critical state; yet how sleepy
Christians are! I almost ventured last night to ask
for the'north wind' to blow upon me; but, at all
events, I do exceedingly want the'south wind.'
I'm  afraid Jesus gets no sweet fragrance from  His
garden."
The holy Rutherford once remarked, that " we
might beg ourselves rich, if we could but hold out
our withered hands to Christ and learn to seek, ask
and knock."  Dear Adelaide was not a stranger to
this heavenly art.  "I have had such enjoyment,"
she writes, "in that Psalm (the ninety-ninth)-' Worship at tHis footstool;' exalting Him, prostrating ourselves; and then His holiness the great theme,
thrice over' for He is holy!' Is it not like putting
into our mouths on earth the very song which is.
sung in glory-' Holy, holy, holy?' I cannot imagine any feeling so sweet as that of adoration; it seems
so to imply
"'A soul at leisure from itself,'
to think of God; His holiness filling, as it were,
our souls, so as to banish, for the time, the bitterness of a'view of our own sinfulness, and giving us
the most intense happiness.  It is but transient
tastes of it which I get; still I hope they are




" ALL KNOWN  TO  THEE."                301
earnests of the fulness of it when  God'fills His
temple' so that sin can never enter to interrupt His
worship."
And the result was a calm self-possessedness, even
amidst increasing trials.  "I must tell you," she
writes again, "a word which was lighted up to me
the other day by what you' call
"' The light of affliction's fire.'
It was a dark night-season with me, through some
painful outward circumstances; and oh! how exquisite that word of Jesus did seem to me,' I am the
bright and morning star!'  I looked to the Greek
word, and found it defined-' lustrous, dazzling, shining, resplendent;' —the veryT darkness added to its
brilliancy.  And is it not so with Jesus?"
Meditating one day on those words, " When my
spirit was overwhelmed within me, then Thou knewest my path," she poured out her soul in these plaintive lines: —
"My God, whose gracious pity I may claim,
Calling Thee'Father,' sweet endearing name I
The sufferings of this weak and weary frame,
All, all are known to Thee.
"From human eyes'tis better to conceal
Much that I suffer, much I hourly feel;
But oh! this thought doth tranquillize and healAll, all is known to Thee.
"Nay, all by Thee is ordered, chosen, planned;
Each drop that fills my daily cup Thy hand
Prescribes, for ills none else can understand:
All, all are known to Thee.
26




302     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
"'The fittest means to cure what I deplore;
In me Thy longed-for likeness to restore;
Self to dethrone, and let it rule no more; —
All, all are known to Thee
"Nor will the bitter draught distasteful prove,
When I recal the Son of Thy dear love;
The cup Thou would'st not for our sake remove,
That cup He drank for me I
"And welcome, precious can His Spirit make
My little drop of suffering for His sake:
Father! the cup I drink, the way I take;
All, all is known to Thee."




CHAPTER XIX.
WORDSWORTH, in his " Excursion," speaks of a
child, living on "a tract of inland ground," who
applied to his ear "the convolutions of a smoothlipped shell."
"'; In silence hushed, his very soul
Listened intently; and his countenance soon
Brightened with joy; for murmurings from within
Were heard, sonorous cadences! whereby
To his belief the Monitor expressed
Mysterious union with its native sea."
Dear Adelaide is now approaching her heavenly
home. And as she nears it, her utterances sound in
the ear of faith more and more accurately as the
" cadences" of her " native sea."
In her Diary, she writes: "March 20 (1853).
Sun. Meditated on the land of Beulah-so sweet
to pilgrims on the Sionward way." And in a letter:
"' Oh i I do so want some more vivid piercing glances
through the lattice! Those words have been much
on my mind for some days-' The eyes of the Lord
run to and fro throughout the whole earth to show
Himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is
perfect towards Him.' They'run'-from  Madeira,




304     MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
to Torquay, and to Derby, watching each person;
and'to and fro,' backwards and forwards! it almost
annihilates the sense of distance, does it not 2"
And writing to another, also nearing home, she
says: "I have been growing up into your experience. I knew very little of conflict when I saw
you, and very little comparatively of sin. The last
year or two have taught me much; and, painful as
it has been, I see the value of learning it. The
struggles of the inner man are so real-so entirely
God-ward (for man sees them not), that one seems
by degrees to learn out the value of life as it brings
one into contact with the living God!  Oh! how
blessed it will be when it is all life, when death has'no more dominion!"'
And, in the same letter: "I have thought that
hell and heaven don't occupy us enough. It does
strike me so very much, in the experience of the few
Christians I see and of the many I hear from, that
there is such a tendency to rest in present experience and in all the daily fluctuations and variations, sins and infirmities, sorrows and trials, which,
after all, acquire their real importance only through
their connexion with eternity. There is, for the
most part, comparatively little realization of the
unseen-the ultimate carrying out of all these'seen'
things to their certain issue. I suppose it is experience one must come to by degrees, just in proportion, indeed, as one nears the eternal realities
themselves. The nearer one gets to heaven, the
more vividly one sees what holiness is, and, as a




FELLOWSHIP WITH  JESUS.    305
natural result, one feels the more what sin is and
what it leads to in hell; in short, it just comes to
this, that we have more of the mind of Christ and
see more in God's own light. And how entirely oneness of heart with Him is what one sums up every
desire of one's heart in, is it not?"
To another friend she writes: "Oh! how I do
long to live and walk in real personal fellowship
with Jesus all the day long! It comforted me
very much some days ago, in reading Matt. xxvi., to
see how, even when Jesus'was personally present,
there were the very same interruptions to communion
which we have now in spiritual things.  Did it ever
strike you how remarkably this was the case in the
Supper-chamber, when, in the very midst of that
solemn, sacred feast, they were interrupted by Judas
getting up and going out of the room? Such breaks
in seasons of retirement and communion seem to me
to say, how can you expect to go through any service of prayer or praise without interruption? How
often, when Jesus went to be alone, He was interrupted! and we are not greater than our Lord."
The holy Bolton once said-" Oh! when will this
good hour come?  When shall I be dissolved?
When shall I be with Christ'"  Another holy man
once wrote"Should not the exile, Lord, desire
His own sweet realm to see?
The bride to greet her absent Lord:
The prisoner to be firee?
02, d~c




306    MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
" When we, amid this stormy world,
Feel like the homeless dove,
We would in spirit spread the wing,
To flee to thee we love."
Dear Adelaide was beginning to long more and more
intensely for her Home.  "I was thinking last
night," she writes, April 13 (1853), "of the words-'Humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God,
that le may exalt you in due time.' There is no
such'exaltation' as going to be with Him.  I do
often wonder if the time is near for that.  I shall
not mind this humiliation, if it is the prelude to
that honour. I most fully agree with what you say
about'time.' I believe waiting is quite as much a
part of our serving as any active work might be, and
that it is the acting of the Spirit, and not of the flesh,
which tells."
And, in another letter, she says: " Every one
seems to think me well or nearly so, except myself;
but I don't feel it, and therefore don't believe it.
Perhaps I am unwilling to believe. Indeed, I cannot be contented to be down here, though I do try to
say'As thou wilt' about it. And God chooses to
exercise me by keeping me abiding still here in the
flesh. One thing I know-Jesus will have me, whenever He chooses, to be with Him where He is. And
you, too!"
Other pilgrim-experiences she gives thus: "I do
long for some face-to-face communion, if the Lord
Jesus will sweeten it by filling us both with His
Spirit, and then drawing near Himself to share our




THE SERAPHIM.                 30'7
joy." And, alluding to a visit from the Rev. Mr.
T-, of Rugby: "I saw very little of him; but
that little was enough to excite mutual interest on
various subjects. I can't tell you how strange these
momentary catches at Christian intercourse and
friendship seem to me. How they explain that
this is'a time-state,' and that we are finite creatures,'pilgrims and sojourners,' meeting only to
part again-everything, in fact, being only' in part.'
I do long for this' in part' state to be' done away,'
and the'perfect' to come. And yet how many
enjoyments peculiar to itself belong to it!" And
again: "I do so like the ups and downs, and all
the sudden transitions, in the Psalms.  They used
to trouble me, as if they disturbed the beauty of the
passage; but now I seem so to enter into them."
And elsewhere: "Lately I have found such comfort from the type of the' red heifer,' as the special
provision made for our wilderness-journey when we
get continually defiled and want re-admission (if I
may use such a word) into holy communion in the
holy place. Amidst our unceasing re-commission
of sin every moment, should not we make instant
application afresh to the cleansing blood of Jesus,
and so keep our conscience purged moment by
moment?"
The seraphim-those emblems of redeemed sinners in glory-use two of their six wings in service;
but with four of the wings they cover their feet and
their faces. Writing to Mrs. C-0   W  -, Adelaide says: "I have been sent down into the valley




308     MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEW'TON.
of- humiliation lately, in a way which makes me feel
for you.  I have just seemed to go from one depth to
another, till I have felt sometimes ready to lay me
down'as the ground and as the street' for others
to walk over.  I-tow little young Christians know of
self-abasement or' self-sacrifice 1' Those are tremendous words, are they not? I often feel like a sacrifice,
bound indeed to the horns of the altar, but shrinking
from the flame which comes to consume the sacrifice.
However, Jesus will take care that His Father is
glorified, in spite of all our crying while the rod is in
hIis hand. That thought often comforts me. And I
was thinking this week that it is really a privilege to
be in His furnace at all; for it is not intended for
reprobate silver, but only for choice gold; and if we
were not His choice gold, we should not have been
put in there."
This "house-devil," self (as Rutherford calls it),
was exorcised, not by melancholy mopings over her
own heart, but by a steadfast contemplation of Christ.
"I want God," she writes, "to have quite entirely
His own way with me, and to be uninfluenced in
wishing anything for myself.  I have been thinking
to-day of Jesus as the' burnt-offering'.'  MIr. Jukes
says,' Everything He did or said was for God. From
first to last, self had no place; His Father's work,
His Father's will, was everything.'  There is no joy
so great as sharing the Father's delight in Jesus.
How wonderful it will be hereafter, will it not?'My,
beloved Son, in whom  I am  well pleased.''Mine
Elect, in whom my soul delighteth l' and the Offer



SOUL-NAKEDNESS.               309
ing in which God could and did find pleasure. What
a very sustaining thought it must have been to Jesus,
to feel so sure as He did that He always did those
things which pleased the Father! I think it must
have been that which carried Him through those
hours of tremendous endurance on the cross; for He
would know, even then, that He was doing His Father's will in enduring His Father's righteous displeasure. And, though it could not alter the agony, or
create joy, it could sustain Him. Oh i how delightful it must be to Him now, to look back and see
how perfectly He pleased His Father, and how
beautifully He executed His work as His righteous
Servant!
" Don't you think," she adds, " we might be much
happier, if we pleaded all Christ's holy obedience as
our own, and learned to know ourselves as really
welcome and well-pleasing to our Father in Him? I
was struck with this in the texts I am sending on
Rev. iii. 18-that He would have us clothed, so that
the shame of our nakedness' do not appear.' Does
it not mean that lie would have us lose the consciousness of that nakedness of soul which sin brings with
it, just as, when He clothed Adam  and Eve with
skins, they would not need any longer to hide themselves through shame l And, if we were' hot' and
zealous, instead of cold and lukewarm, we should
really get all those blessings which He offers us
-riches, clothing and eyesight;-wealth to traffic
with spiritually; beauty which Jesus could admire
(as He so often did in Solomon's Song, when even




310    MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
one chain of the neck could ravish Him); and eyesight for ourselves to see the King in His beauty?
I cannot wish you more precious things than these,
can I? But I try to pray that they may all be yours
abundantly."
Another interesting glimpse into her hidden life
is given elsewhere, thus: "Lately I have felt such
an indescribable apathy come over me; but I believe
bodily debility has a great deal to do with it.  However, in spite of all these clogs and hindrances to
fellowship with the Father and with His Son, I often
get such precious foretastes of heavenly realities as
only make me impatient to'be swallowed up of life'
(how strange that that should be'death!' but I
suppose, in 2 Cor. v., it refers rather to the resurrection-morning). And I have a more realizing feeling
of nearing the haven, by every passing hour, than I
ever had before. But do pray for me, that this natural self may die and Christ live in me."
And she adds: "H ave you read the' Memoir of
Emma Maurice?' I have been so struck by her
prayers that she might be' crushed' and Christ glorified. Could you ask that?  I like many of her
letters and prayers so very much, especially one on' Freeness of grace'-like a crown set upon its' fulness.' Free, in spite of all our coldness and despe.
rate sinfulness as Christians!  I have learned to
prize the'searching scrutiny of God.'"
The summer brought with it only increasing
weakness. "The main feeling I have had for many
months," she writes, May 20 (1853), "is as if I were




"A GLIMPSE WVITHIN THE VAIL."   311
worn out by lengthened illness. I have none of the
energy I used to have; and I find it very, very hum.
bling." And to another: " I often weary to be gone;
and the'little while' seems long. But, as Mr. Stowell was saying to me, the thing, after all, is, to be
brought to say,' Not my will, but thine be done.' I
suppose seven years of illness must wear one out, in
some measure, and damp one's spirits; but' the joy
of the Lord' can soon raise one up again, if He sees
one can bear it. I trust you are full of peace, and
joy, and hope."
And some weeks later she says: "I have been
feeling how unreasonable it is for me to wonder that,
after seven years of illness and so much joy, there
should be now that wearing down of one's energies
which I have felt so much. However, I am better
of this; and I think I shall soon be able to look
back upon it as a very valuable passage in my wilderness-journey. I had a precious glimpse within
the vail on Saturday. I could only think of the
words,'The  King hath  brought me into His
chambers;' and these words came home to me as
full of sweetness,'Sing unto IRIM, sing psalms unto
Him,' as if it were enough for the soul to sing for
Him alone to hear. Can I give you the idea I had
about it? like singing for Jesus, as one would do for
some very dear friend who took pleasure in listening
to one. He does say,'Let me hear thy voice.' I
want you to pray that I may have the joy of His
salvation fully restored to me, or, rather, more than
restored. I want to have it so as I never had it be



312    MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
fore. I want to be a burning fight-a sacrifice ascending up with a brilliant flame of fire."
And again: "I have been a-begging to Him; but
I should like to take you with me, and let us urge
each other on to grow bolder and more urgent, and
to vie, as it were, with each other, and see which can
get most-to be more Christ-like-to see how much
we can get for each other. Oh! my precious L,
how my heart clings to' the remembrance of days
when we have had Jesus with us, warming our
hearts whilst we talked with Him. I was thinking
last night of Enoch-how like a'burnt-offering' he
was, his whole life consecrated to God,'walking with
God!' and then, how literally an ascension, being' translated!' God' took him'-himself-his whole
self! How beautiful, is it not? I don't think there
is anything like it in the Bible, save his Master."
Like "Christian" ernerging from  the " Valley of
the Shadow  of Death," she now could say, "His
candle shineth on my head, and by His light I go
through darkness." And, like the Pilgrim, looking
back upon ", the dangers of her solitary way," she
writes: "I never had gone through anything like
this before. Hell-deserving I had indeed often felt
myself to be; but this was as if I had hellishness in
my very nature. I. seemed as if I could not love;
and the only words which suited me were those of
Peter,'Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, 0
Lord.' I could only be thankful that, in spite of it
all, I could not but continue on my knees before tile
throne of grace, expecting deliverance in due season,




-CO NCEPTIO  S AND FAITH.          313
and that I never seemed able for a moment to disbelieve my adoption and my right to call God'my
God.' How precious the very struggle is betwixt
the new man and the old! It at least proves that
the'strong man armed' is not keeping'his goods'
in peace. And such abasing of self, too, is the
means God has used for preparing me to'see greater
things.' It is just the way He dealt with Daniel and
with Isaiah, is it not?"
And, in another letter, she adds: " I was in danger of being' exalted above measure;' and, in answer
to my own prayers, I was laid low, and have been
kept low. I have found out many precious things
by it, which I know I could not have learned in a
happier state of mind; and I am really and honestly
thankful, though one cannot help longing to be full
of light, and life, and love."
And again: "' ly greatest trouble has been from
going on day after day without any of what Dr.
Chalmers calls'conception;' foi faith may be in
strong exercise whilst we are all in the dark, as it
were, from want of conception-not being able to
realize the countenance and smile of Jesus, though
knowing assuredly all the while that it was there unchanged if we could but see it. The idea I found in
the forty-third Psalm one day, greatly to my delight.
You remember how David calls God there his' exceeding joy,' at the very moment when his soul was
so'cast down.' He was fully conscious that God
was that to him; and yet at the time he had no
happy consciousness of the truth in his own expe27




314    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEW TON.
rience. Is it not so exactly what one often feels
one's-self ".'
Bishop Ridley once remarked that the walls and
trees of his orchard, could they speak, would bear
witness that there he had learned by heart almost all
the Epistles, and that of the study he should carry
the sweet savour with him to heaven. "To get
deeper into any of God's thoughts," writes dear
Adelaide "is so sublimating. You can't think what
longings I have had for a sight of Jesus lately; faith
does not in the least satisfy me. I know, indeed,
there is a heaven of communion to be enjoyed even
on earth. How very beautifully one sees it in Cant.
i. 4 and iii. 4 taken together-Jesus bringing His
bride'into His chambers,' and she bringing Him
into hers; both unlocking, as it were, the innermost
recesses of the inner man, to admit each other into
the very closest intimacy which language can convey an idea of-Jesus entering into the soul, and the
soul entering into Jesus! But if we can taste such
exquisite sweetness of delight when we get into His
chambers now by faith, what will it be to be with
Him bodily and for ever?"
And, again looking back along the way by which
she has been led, she writes: "I am so glad to hear
you say you have had more rest in Jesus of late. It
is just the one thing that I think I can say I have
had. It has certainly not been resting in enjoyments,
or in outward ease, but just simply turning from all
these to seek and find it in Jesus only. It is not
any one thing which has tried me; it seems to me




" TIIE POTTER IS HOUSE."'           315
more the living over again of David's life. I am so
exceedingly struck, in reading through Samuel, with
the complication of his trials, the one folllowing so
upon another, and so little peace between. Such a
picture of our experiene, don't you think? I was
thinking yesterday how remarkable it was that
through that experience he was enabled to write the
Psalms, a book which one like Solomon could never
have written. So there must be Davids now; and I
believe we who know most of the reality of such experiences, will enter most deeply into the praises of
eternity."
And the same letter, thus: "What lessons we
may learn in the'Potter's house!' (Jer. xviii. 1-6.)
I have taken the re-making of the marred vessel, in
reference, first, to our bodies, then to our souls, and
then to the earth.  It is very striking to my own
mind, that the word used, in Gen. ii. 7, Isa. xliii. 7,
xliv. 2, 21, or Ps. cxxxix, 15, 16, of the forming or
fashioning of the body, is the very same word which
describes the operations of a potter; and the same
is true of the spirit in Ps. xxxiii. 15, Zech. xii. 1;
and also, I think, of the earth, in Isa. xlv. 18-'formed' it. All three are'marred' by sin; yet all
three are renewed or re-made by the Heavenly Potter. And I was struck with the expression,'the
vessel was marred in the hand of the potter,' as if
Jesus lets nothing fall out of His hands, but simply
keeps the vessel, even when marred, until it is remade. Oh, how I long for a yielding, clay-like




314     MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
spirit!' Learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in
heart, and ye shall find rest.' How fully one knows,
that so soon as a real lowliness of spirit fills one's
heart towards God, a calm steals over one, in place
of the agitation of the troubled waves of rebelliousness of will! Oh, how my will has distracted me
these last few months!-but I believe God could detect the'new man' ever saying'Not my will' even
when I could only discern the workings of the' old
man' in myself struggling for the mastery."
A thought on Resurrection she gives to a bereaved
friend thus: " I cannot tell you how I have delighted
in the thought of every seed having' its own body'
lately. I never liked what some people lay so much
stress upon-each particle of dust which forms these
vile earthly bodies being gathered together and raised:
the expression,' Thou fool! thou sowest not that body
that shall be,' seems quite to contradict it, to my mind.
But every seed will have its own body, and be instantly recognized, just as each plant now is known
from the seed that was sown. And is there not food
for precious contemplation in that?"
The Lord's "appearing" she watched for with a
new longing.  "I have many times," she writes,
"thought of your question,' What are the signs
now which warrant the expectation of the immediate
coming of our Lord?' I always feel that the peculiarity of the signs of the present day consists
chiefly, if not entirely, in the movement amongst the
Jews. But do you not think that, in order to a real




CHRIST S COMING.              3 17
expectation of Christ's coming at any hour, we must
give up the idea of not seeing Him until all the signs
are accomplished and He stands on the Mount of
Olives in the Holy Land, as in Zech. xiv.? I have
been driven to this."'~2*




CHAPTER XX.
HE poet Spenser, himself not a stranger to the
mysteries of the inner life, once wrote"The soul's dark cottage, shattered and decayed,
Lets in new light through chinks which time has made."
Dear Adelaide's " dark cottage" was gradually decaying. At the end of August (1853), her cough grew
worse; and we find her physician " warning her that
it would be serious if not checked."  " Of this," she
herself writes, "I feel perfectly conscious; I am
very low and poorly." But a new joy filled her soul.
"Perhaps," she said one day, to a friend who was
leaving her, " the next time we meet, it may be with.
Jesus."  "I never shall forget," says that friend, " the
heavenly smile which beamed in her features as she
spoke."
And writing to the Hon. Mrs. C-, she says:
" I have seen more of Jesus lately than ever before.
There is something overpowering beyond expression
to my mind in seeing anything of His intense holiness and perfectness.  I could not endure it, I am
certain, if it were not for knowing that that very life
was lived for me, in my stead, and as my right



" NOW  COME I TO THEE."            319
eousness and sanctification. One passage which has
come with special power to me about Him is John
xvii. Up to that hour He had gone on in uncomplaining silence, except as from time to time He had
let drop expressions which plainly told all He was
feeling, as in Ps. xxxv. 17,'Lord, how long wilt thou
look on?' or in Luke xii. 50,'How am I restrained 2'
But no sooner was the time come, than His delight
broke forth as (in ver. 1) He' lifted up His eyes and
said, Father, the hour is come!' Who can imagine
the depths of untold satisfaction with which He
must have burst forth with those words towards His
Father? as if His spirit were ready to bound towards
Him the instant it might! And then He goes on to
say (v. 11-13), in His own most exquisite way,'And
now I am no more in the world'-' and now come I
to thee.' Is there not something exquisite in that?
Oh! I think God the Father must have listened to
it with such supreme delight (as in Prov. xxiii. 15,
16).
"And then," she proceeds, "if one looks at Him
in John xii. 27, 28, and for one single moment
hears Him ready to say, in the anguish of His soul,' Father, save me from this hour'-how instantly He
sets aside the wish with the words,'But for this
cause came I unto this hour;' and then quite, as it
were, triumphing over self altogether, He makes
this His real prayer,'Father, glorify thy name!'
learning, through that very experience, to be able at
last to testify,'I have glorified thee on the earth.'
I can't write down what this reveals to me of what




320    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
He felt; but you will understand it all for yourself,
and I know you will enjoy it as I do. Oh! the comfort I have found in using His words! it has been so
very precisely what I wanted. You can imagine how
precious it has been, though it has cost me many
bitter tears.  How, without such bitterness, could
one long to say with Him,' Save me from this hour?'
but when' the hour' is really'come,' won't it he
glorious? to be'no more in the world!' to come to
the Father 1"
And she adds: "Another passage is Matt. xvi.
21-27.  The margin of verse 22 struck me first,'Pity thyself, Lord.' It was such a natural outburst
of kindly feeling from Peter's affectionate heart; and
yet, just because it was natural, and savoured of man,
it was so ofibnsive to Jesus that He could not bear
it.  Does it not wonderfully reveal the quick discernment of Jesus?  Knowing that it became God to
make Him perfect through sufferings, He would not
tolerate the idea of evading those sufferings for one
moment.'The cup which my Father hath given
me, shall I not drink it' Don't you think there is
a wonderful unfolding of His perfectness in the
shrinking He had from pitying Himself? and then,
with all these thoughts and feelings fresh in His own
mind, how one seems to understand what He meant
when He turned and said that if any man would
follow Him, so far from pitying, he must deny himself! I suppose you had often traced out the connexion between these two things. I never had seen
it before. And I have just been so much struck




V A ILS."9                321
with the Transfiguration following it.  Did it ever
strike you that the very subject Peter so recoiled
from  was the very theme which Moses and Elias
talked over with Jesus?-they'spake of His decease.' Probably that was the only time on earth
that He was ever able to speak freely of His death
to any one who understood about it; and can't
you imagine it to have been exceedingly comforting
to Him?"
Other vails, besides the "dark cottage," hide the
glory of Christ.  " I know," she writes, Oct. 13, to
one who had been smitten with a sore bereavement,
" you will be finding out some fresh recesses in His
heart of love, now  that this vail of flesh is rent
asunder which hitherto has been as a curtain to
conceal them from you.  Oh! that both of us may
be enabled to penetrate deeper into Jesus, and learn
all the beauties which our tear-dimmed eyes can
discern, while we seem drawn within the very
threshold of that glory into which the happy spirit
has entered."
And another veil is a ruffled spirit.  "I never remember," she writes, "having felt so irritable before.
How trying it is! I have been exactly what Cant. i.
7 (marg.) says,'as one that is vailed.' How characteristic of the book that expression is-is it not?
The Bride not imagining for a moment that Jesus is
changed, but truthfully owning that she cannot see
Him rightly!"
And another vail is external ease. "It does me
good to he made at times uncomfortable outwardly



322    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
it unsettles me from my earthly home, where one is
so apt to settle so unconsciously." And she adds:
" Don't you think there is such a difference in the
very way one says' 0 Lord,' at one time and at another?  One day, it may be with a vague and general
assurance that there is a God to whom one speaks
and looks. At another time, one's very heart seems
to go forth to the Person one looks to, as to one's
dearest and most intimate of friends-a Father, a
Maker, or our Jehovah."
In her Diary, she writes: "May 14 (1853).Cocker died about seven A.M., to enter into the presence of Jesus. The first-fruits (to me) of the Ragged School. Oh, to pray for a large harvest to follow 1" "June 5, Sun. —Was very, very tired all day,
and only felt at the Lord's Table what a miracle of
mercy it will be for me to be found in heaven!"
"June 22.-M-  was transplanted to the garden
of Jesus in glory. From the very commencement
of her illness she used to speak of going to Jesus,
and seemed quite aware she was going, saying,
I'M — going to the blue sky.' She liked of all
things for HE - to talk to her about it, and would
smile sometimes at this when nothing else moved
her."  "July 14. —Sent Dr. Bonar'Terrible Things
in Righteousness"' (article for " Quarterly Journal of
Prophecy"). "Aug. 6.-Finished the rough copy of
article on Solomon's Song for Dr. Bonar."
And again: "Aug. 15.-Dr. Bonar came at seven
P.M. He promised to read my' Hebrews' if I would
do it, and bade me consider myself pledged to do it




DIARY.                  323
Is this God's certain token to me of His will?"
"Aug. 29.-Dr.    - said my cough was becoming
serious.  Mrs. B     and the Rev. C       B --
came; he talked of Solomon's Song, and prayed
with us." A" Sept. 27.-Mr. B --- came, and stayed
nearly two hours with me: he talked of JEsUS; Cant.
i. 5; ii. 17, 18; iv. 6, 7; vi. 11, 12."  "Nov. 15.Irish Church Missions Meeting. Saw Mr. Bickersteth."
"'Dec. 11, Sun.-Mr. Dallas preached at St. A -~
on Rom. viii. 26, 27, and afterwards gave it to me
alone, and prayed with me."
At the end of October, her illness so much increased that she never again was out of doors. But,
with a singular energy, she devoted herself during her
remaining months to her work on the Hebrews.
And the Lord seemed to use it for teaching her new
lessons as she hastened forward to her home,  " He-e
brews has shown me so much," was her remark one
day towards the close, " what sin is, by what it cost
-I owe it so much! Oh! it has been well worth
any suffering, to learn out of it the need of Christ's
salvation by what sin is. There is no reality in your
religion, at least no depth of reality, till you have
learned in this way for yourself, It makes me feel
that we don't enter into the hundredth, nor the thousandtb, nor the millionth part of what there is for us
in Christ, or we could not live as we do."
And another lesson which it taught her, she indi.
cates: i" I cannot do Hebrews-I am so humbled over
it still. I seem to have no power to touch it. How
dependent we are upon God-are we not   I have




324    AM El Oi 1 X O' A. L.   E W T 0.
not a word to say till Hle opens my lips; and I feel
as if He had laid me down  with my face on the
ground, and as if I must wait till His hand touched
me, and set me on my feet again.  It is worse than
useless to try to do anything in my own weakness (I
need not call it' strength.')"
And again: "Solitude and isolation drove me to
Jesus as my Beloved One, at the time I did Solomon's Song.  And bitter lessons of sin in myself
and in those about me, which deepen almost every
day and hour, seem to be my necessary portion, ere
I can understand what Jesus is as my High Priest."
And elsewhere shle adds: " I-low intensely interesting
the later discipline of God's people is-that self-prostration! It is the thing I feel youngest in, of any in
the Christian life."
Her sympathies with the afflicted, too, were kindled into a new vividness.  "I hope ere this you are
really better," she writes to  one  tried  sufferer.
"These poor, frail bodies, how full of infirmity they
are! I am constantly made to feel it, and therefore
can feel for you.  For how differently sympathy is
felt when it arises out of felt experience, from  the
mere sympathy of kind fellow-feeling! I have had
this strongly on my mind lately, from  those words
in Heb. ii. 18:'In  that He himself hath suffered,
being tempted, He is able to succour them  that are
tempted.'  And I think one sees the opposite of this
so strongly in the Book of Job, where his three
fiiends actually aggravated instead of lessening his




S YM P iAT  I ES.            325
miseries, fiom their want of understanding of his
trials.' Miserable comforters are ye all!'"
And she adds: "H ow often one is shut up to look
for sympathy and help fiom  Him  who alone can
know the peculiar texture of our minds, and who
only can have largeness of heart enough to comprehend all the variety of trials which distress all His'many sons.' Did you ever find comfort to yourself
from that expression,'largeness of heart l' I reimember once its being made such a word in season
to me, as I was reading 1 Kings iv., and saw in Solomon the type or figure of the' greater than Solomon.'
It says:'God gave Solomon... largeness of
heart, even as the sand that is on the sea-shore.'
And taken in connexion with the promise to Abraham, that his seed should be as many as the sand on
the sea-shore for multitude, I think it is inexpressibly
comforting to feel that Jesus has' largeness of heart'
enough to take in every smallest grain of sandevery feeblest child in His family, and to care for
every one i'
To a bereaved mother, Mrs. C~  W., she
writes, on another occasion, thus: "I felt for you not
a little. I knew how your heart was bleeding, and I
hoped you felt the hand of your tender Heavenly
Physician binding up your wounds. For dear E  -,
I could, of course, only rejoice. She has made her
escape from her clay prison, and is at liberty to bask
in the full sunshine of Christ's own presence-not
one sin grieving her! I could almost envy her."
Borne upward 3n the wings of faith and of hope,
28




826    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEW TON.
we find her longing at times after Christ with an
intenseness of desire almost more than human. " Oh!
I have such intense, unutterable cravings," she writes
to the Hon. Mrs. C —, at one of those seasons,
4" after a real seeing and handling of the Word of
Life Incarnate, that I am only conscious of the most
intense emptiness and longings after the real, real
thing. I wonder if you will understand, what I cannot express; —it has been, as it were, such a sense
of immortality which I have had-the immortality
of my own soul, and its inability to find rest in anything finite. I can't understand why the indwelling
of the Holy Spirit is not more enough to me than it
is, unless it be that I have so little of it; but it is
CHRIST I want to see; and nothing but being present
with Him seems the least to give me any idea of
being satisfied."
And to another: "The character of Christ, as
given in His own words in the Gospels, is such a
study! Its marvellous perfectness-how it astonishes
me and fills me with wonder and admiration-I may
say, with awe!  I am  downright staggered by the
exceeding riches of His grace sometimes-how He
can go on pardoning day after day, and hour after
hour! Don't you often feel ashamed to go to ask it?
really I sometimes cannot get the words out for
shame. Do you remember how Hewitson used to
feel this? he does so suit me. G —  has just got his'Letters and Remains,' and I have been feasting on
them again to-day. I never knew any one whose
experience came home to me like his: he attained to




LON GIN G S.               327
such closeness of walk with God. No words could
describe the unutterable longings and cravings of
soul I have had after Him lately, and intercourse
with Him. I quite like to spend my time on my
knees, whether I can pray or not; and often I have
not a word to say. Oh! to be fed by the Lamb
before the throne from those living fountains which
will quench our thirst!"
The "Great-hearts" of the wilderness stimulate
other pilgrims on their way.  "Slow-pace" and
" Short-wind" and "Linger-after-lust"  and  "1'Noheart" bring up an evil report of the Land, "saying
it is not half so good as some pretend it is;" and
they "persuade people that the Lord is a hard taskmaster;" and they call the bread of God, husksthe comfort of His children, fancies-the travel and
labour of pilgrims, things to no purpose."  But
Great-heart "takes sword and helmet and shield,"
and, facing  " Giant Grim," boldly says, "These
women and children are going on pilgrimage, and
this is the way they must go; and go it they shall,
in spite of thee and the lions." And Great-heart is
not bold in vain. " Come," said he to the pilgrims,
" what think you of the pilgrimage now S" "Sir,"
said the youngest of them, " I was almost beat out
of heart; but I thank you for lending me a hand at
my need."
Dear Adelaide was a Great-heart.  "I feel so sorry for you having to go from place to place," she
writes to a friend travelling on the Continent; " but
this comfort, at any rate, I have, that in all your




828    PM1/EMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
wilderness-wanderings the Lord walks with you from
place to place in the tent or tabernacle of your body
(2 Sam. vii. 6, 7); and that sanctifies all.  The joy
and peace of'walking' in the light' is something so
unutterably blissful, is it not? and surely it is our
purchased privilege in Jesus-' They shall walk, O
Lord, in the light of Thy countenance: in Thy name
shall they rejoice all the day.' "
And to a friend in Edinburgh, Miss G, she
writes: "Many thanks for your note to me. Those
words of Mrs. Barbour's are truly wonderful and
God-glorifying.  What an idea it gives one of the
immensity of God, that He can be giving so abundantly to such numbers of HIis people all at once, and
be none the poorer Himself!'The Lord will give
grace and glory' —the one for time, the other for
eternity, don't you think l Are you freed yet from
all the dark clouds you spoke of?  I am wonderfully
brought up out of the depths. No words can say, in
the least, what unutterable cravings of heart I have
had after a sight-a real, satisfying sight-of Jesus.
I can't understand it, when I ask to be filled with the
Holy Ghost.  Is it His indwelling which creates
these longings after heaven's own bliss in what Mr.
A —-described yesterday as'union with God?'
Oh! how sweet a Refuge Jesus is in every storm! I
do believe He grows dearer to me now every day.
As to health," she adds, "I am just ready to be finished with at any moment if it pleased God, and yet
in that state that, if He chooses, He may keep me
going for a while still on earth."




PA T IEN   E.              329
And  to the same friend: "I have just read
through the two books of Samuel.  Poor David!
what a life he led!  I can't say what a feeling his
history has given me. I grew so weary of his incessant miseries, and did seem so to sympathize with
and understand the endless variety of them, that one
thing, and only one, helped me through; and that
was, the realizing how exactly that discipline fitted
him for writing the Psalms. One sees how exactly
one's own path is chosen by God to fit us for doing
the particular work He designed for us from eternity, and how no other path could do so well; and
does not that give you a great feeling of contentment
and of being satisfied to have things as they are?
A little patient endurance will bring us where we
shall admire each step of the way with such admiration! Oh! what intensity of happiness there is in
casting in one's lot with Jesus! I have so much felt
lately that it is less the particular enjoyment of the
present hour or moment that I care for, than the
settled assurance altogether that I am tHis and that I
am going along the Zionward way which leads straight
to His presence. What privileged beings you and I
are, to be under His own hand-His own training,
and to know it!"
In another letter, her strong heart encourages a
fainting fellow-pilgriin thus: "I am very, very jealous of any vagueness of thought respecting the real
personality of the Spirit. I don't believe we half
realize it, or we could not talk of His'influences' as
we do.  Oh! to be filled with God the Holy Ghost l
a c):




330    MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
Then how strong we should be! how holy! how
Christ-like! in short, everything we want to be. I
have so rested on those words lately,'I am persuaded
that He is able.' Shall I send them to you? What
does it matter how weak we are? Rather may wa
learn to' glory in our infirmities!'"
Do not the thoughts which follow strike a chord
in many a pilgrim's heart? "I am reading Hosea,"
she writes.  " How fearful our tendency is to be
ever dealing treacherously with Jesus! I am  so
tired of my heart.  How wonderful Jesus is, that
He can'love us to the end'! I have been so much
struck with the picture He Himself has drawn of our
wilderness-life, in calling it by those two emphatic
words,'The provocation.'  One feels it is so true
that each fresh stage only calls forth fresh murmuring and rebelliousness, until, from beginning to
end, one literally seems to look back upon one series
of provocations. And then, too, the bitterness of it
is so aggravated by the remembrance that it is all
against that loving God who has already'many a
time' forgiven our iniquity. Oh! how great it makes
His love to forgive and pardon all those forty years'
provocations'!
"But the text," she adds, "I had thought of sending you to-day was this,'Ye are they which have
continued with me in my temptations.' (Luke xxii.
28.) It has been made very precious to me in two
ways-one, as showing how Jesus prizes and appreciates the constant love of His people and their protracted endurance, of suffering for His sake; and the




"CONTINUING  WITH  JESUS.?    331
other, as showing the preciousness of protracted life,
when it is viewed as a continuing with Jesus in the
fellowship of His sufferings. It seems to be only in
advancing experience that one can at all enter into
the deep meaning of His words; but when continuance amidst temptation is felt to be very trying,
they are precious words indeed, are they not? and
if I can feel them so, how much more can you! But
I must stop-only wishing you great grace to enable
you to rejoice greatly in the Lord, and to make your
boast in Him  continually.  Don't you like to give
vent to your feelings in those three words,' Blessed
be God?'"
William Cowper has beautifully said of" Contemplation," that'Her power is such that whom she lifts from earth
She makes familiar with a heaven unseen,
And shews hirm glories yet to be revealed.
Not slothful he, though seeming unemployed
And censured oft as useless. Stillest streams
Oft water fairest meadows, and the bird
That flutters least is longest on the wing."
Adelaide Newton makes little noise; but, on her
eagle-pinions, she soars higher and higher into the
regions of the heavenly life.  "I have just finished
reading through Kings," she writes, in the autumn
of 1853; "and one thought has impressed itself very
strongly on my mind, as I have gone from chapter
to chapter;-especially in contrast with the subject
I lately sent you on Christ's character, as given in
the Gospels-He always doing what His Father did




332    EMEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
(John v. 19) —always keeping His Father's commandments, without turning aside-always maintaining such entire and universal regard to all that
was holy, just, and good.  How very, very seldom
we come upon very thorough Christians I A great
many are sincere, and do a great deal that is right;
but a Caleb, a Joshua, a David, a Moses, or a Daniel,
are very rare. And how striking is such a testimony
as this-' He did that which was right in the sight
of the Lord; yet not like David his father'! (2
Kings xiv. 3). It was altogether a much lower standard; and it is added,' Howbeit the high places
were not taken away-as yet the people did sacrifice
and burnt incense on the high places.' These are
the words which have so especially struck me.
Again and again we read —' he did that which was
right,' save that' the higoh places were not removed, the
people sacrificed and burnt incense still.' (2 Kings xv.
3, 4, 34, 35, &c., &c.) Oh! dclear -., is it not a solemn thing to hear the Searcher of hearts ever saying
that there is' still' some idolatry indulged;' still' somne
secret sins spared;' still' some reserve in our obedience a If there had been no exceptions amongst the
kings, we should naturally feel that it was a kind of
impossible thing to rieach a higher standard.  But
don't you think such cases as Josiah and Hezekiah
quite prove the contrary?  Of both it is said, that
they did that which was right in the sight of the
Lord, according to all that David did (2 Kings xviii.
34; xxii. 2); and they did remove the high places,
and cut down the groves.  So that altogether it tells




A CONTRAST.                  333
of the low state in which, for the most part, we are,
as Christians, content to live; so unlike Jesus, who
Bad respect, literally, unto all the commandments!"
And she adds: "The text I have chosen to send
you this week is such a precious one —' Let them
shout for joy, and be glad, that favour my righteous
cause; yea, let them say continually, Let the Lord
be magnified, which bath pleasure in the prosperity
of His servant.' Is not that raising us immensely
high, to make our joy to consist so largely in God's
joy in the prosperity of Jesus?  And is it not beau-.
tiful to hear Jesus praying that His Father may'be
magnified' for taking pleasure in His success   I
feel, dearest —, that I can wish you no higher enjoyment than much of this gladness, and that you
may really be able to' say continually,'' The Lord
be magnified.'"
And in another letter, she says: " I always think it
is the highest kind of joy we are invited to indulge
in-to be sharers of God's joy! And it is a joy so
wholly independent of ourselves and of our own feelings, that it seems as if it might be possible that it
shoald be realized, as Christ prays it may be,'continually.'"
It is well to touch " from  behind" the hem  of
Christ's garment, for even such a touch brings " virtue out of Him;" but it is better to come up in front
of Him and look into His face.  "I want," Adelaide
writes, "the felt'kisses of His mouth.' R-.
seems to get' close up' to Him in prayer.  Did you
ever connect the words,'Be not silent unto me,' in




334    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
Ps. xxviii., with the grand description of' the voice
of the Lord,' in Ps. xxix 8 May He bless you every
moment with His love, watering you (as Hewitson
would say) with the silent dew!"
And again: " I am sure we are not half enough
alone in prayer. I do so long for a closer walk with
Jesus. I seem so very often in a kind of mist, as if
I knew He was in the room but I could not see
Him. Do you understand this? Pray that I may
have a greater spirit of prayer, and of praise too. I
have been reading of the singers' day and night' in
the temple: how little we know of such constant
praise now i"
A visit which " a Free Church minister, Mr. C —
B -—," had paid to her, she sketches in the same
letter, thus: " I greatly enjoyed it, because he
seemed so very happy in God and in His Word.
When he was up with me in this room, he appeared
as if he could scarcely sit still sometimes for delight,
especially when speaking of Ps. lxxxv. 10-'Righteousness and peace have kissed each other.' He
clasped his arms and looked all he seemed as if he
would like to say of the exquisite beauty of God's
own joy in the perfection of His own attributes. It
is impossible to put it into words; but perhaps the
idea may strike your mind, as it did mine, in a way
it never had before."
And, in another letter, she says: "It strikes me
more and more every day, how much people dwell
upon their own feelings and experiences and duties,
rather than upon all that Christ was and felt and did




"AFAR OFF. "                335
for them;-I mean practically.  Do you not think
one chief part of the Spirit's work is to testify of
Christ and, by revealing Him, to conform us to His
likeness? I think we often begin at the wrong end
(if I may so express myself), trying to copy Him and
to follow His example, instead of studying Him  and
expecting to be changed into His image' while beholding His glory."'
A threatened bereavement drew forth the following: "I know  what it is to lose a father; and I
seem instinctively to shrink from the thought of any
one I love having the prospect, even'afar off,' of
passing through those deep waters. But let me not
lead you, for a passing moment, into the sin of anticipating the unknown future. Do you know those
lines:"' I'll spare all useless thinking,
Nor shall my minnd be shrinking,
Concerning what may be.
I'll follow thy kind leading,
Dear Lord, in each proceeding:
That thou art all, sufficeth me'?
I don't know that any precept in the whole Bible has
been more invaluable to me at times than this-'Take no thought for the morrow;' but it is hard to
carry it out into practice. In fact, each day and hour
make me see more and more how amazingly slight
our understanding of the mere words of Scripture is.
Its heights and depths seem reserved for Him whose
understanding is infinite."




336    MEMOItR OF A. L. NEWTON.
Towards the close of the year, she speaks of " having within the last few weeks been really ill, though
still going about the house and pulling through all
the outside-work of daily life."  And she adds: "I
have been compelled to give up nearly all my letterwriting. I have thought of your approaching confirmation-day many times lately, seeing it marked in
my'daily food.' It is now thirteen years since I
took those vows, and said I renounced the world, &c.
Badly enough have they all been kept; but I thank
God for having taken care of me, when I might have
broken loose from Him so often if He had not held
me in with a somewhat tight hand. Did it ever
strike you what a solemn view it gives of what our
separateness from worldliness shomtd be, that we
are in Christ even in His character of'Nazarite'?
It almost overpowered me last week, when the idea
first struck me. How false a representation we give
of Hiin  to the world-do we not?"
The fruits of this new discipline she notes in an.
other letter, thus: "What has tried me most is, that
I have felt so utterly unable to exert myself, especially in reading or writing.  It is very humbling discipline; but, oh! FE-, I do feel so increasingly
that that is just what we most need. We do live so
very much to please ourselves; and it will not do.
God will not suffer it, if we are really His; and, in
one way or other, self. must be abased now, if we
are to be exalted hereafter.  The thought of this
reconciles me to it all; I may say, it makes me
thankful for it, even when it is trying me most."




"i GOD LI N E SS.           337
And elsewhere she says: "He keeps ne in very' great peace.' I can't often speak of jcy; but even
that I have sometimes-and I feel every day how
the items for praise are being added to, which will
give me full employment for eternity when I know
all."
Another feature of her inner life was developed
into new prominence.  "I do wish I loved Jesus
more," she writes, "in those who have no comeliness outwardly (or mentally) to attract me." And
to another: " She is a friend of —; and seeing that
she and you are no longer' strangers and foreigners,'
but of the household of God, I hope you will not feel
it strange to be thus introduced to her. As'daughters' of the Lor4, you are sisters to one another: will
you treat hev as a sister and write to her yourselfl"
And again, on Nov. 11': "I suppose you have been
very busy, not to have let me share your trials and
sorrows all these months. I won-'t suspect Christian
love —it would be wronging Him who dwells within.
Oh!,what a marvel' godliness' is!' God manifest in the flesh,' not in Jesus only while He was on
earth, but in His body mystical, still dwelt in as we
are by God the Holy Ghost! Oh i the wonder of
this 1"
Some other thoughts are given elsewhere thus:
"We were so agreed upon the bliss of getting away
from self to God. One of the things which struck
me most in Mr. P  -  was his strong feeling of
distress at the dishonour we cast on God by our
unbelief of His grace. Is it not very remarkable,
29




338     MEMOIR OF A. L. L.  EWTON
in John's first Epistle, how every unholy thing is
resented, as if he would instinctively have shrunk
from  it-as if he really would'touch no unclean
thing,''no lie,''no sin.'  It is such'walking in
the light'-is it not? in fellowship with Jesus, the'holy, harmless, undefiled' One-so'separate from
sinners!' I was so exceedingly struck with those
words in 1 Sam. xvi. 1 —' How long wilt thou mourn
for Saul, seeing I have rejected him from reigning
over Israel?' as if God looked in His people for
such oneness of mind with Himself, and such an
understanding of what He was about, that it was a
strange thing for Samuel to be in the dark concerning it and to be in such useless grief.  Oh! E,
what untold sorrow we should be spared, if our
minds were more at one with God in all the things
He is doing!"
And to Mrs. G, on Nov. 18: " Have you had
your mind led to the subject of the'meetness for
the inheritance,' stated in Col. i. 12? Mr. -     was
preaching on it lately, and took the' meetness' as the
sanctifying work of the Spirit wrought in the heart.
But it is properly, I think, neither the Son's work nor
the Spirit's, but the Father's-' Giving thanks unto
the FATHER, which hath made us meet.'  And it
seems to me that there is a very peculiar beauty and
preciousness in this; for, if I mistake not, the idea
of the passage is, our being put into a new position
or standing, even that of children-our'sonshipposition,' which is the literal rendering of'adoption;' in other words, our being translated into the




DESIGN  OF SUFrERING.            339
kingdom of His Son (v. 13). The Greek word for'meet' assuredly signifies, not inherent qualification,
but rather meetness of position. How much cause
I have for'giving thanks unto the Father' for
what He has done  I'The Lord Jesus be with your
spirit' night and day, with light, and peace, and
gladness!"
And to the same, on Dec. 6 (1853): " The
subject which has been on my mind this week is,
the way in which our sufferings have been made to
unfold the character of GoD. Formerly I had always thought of suffering as appointed or permitted of God for our good; and I saw little or
nothing more. But now I can see, in His choice
and arrangement of it, and in His methods of
dealing it out to each single believer in the countless multitude of the redeemed, the most magnificent display of His own character. And I cannot
tell you how altered a view it has given me of it.
His wisdom so exercised and exhibited in always
selecting the right kind of trial for each individual
character; the right quantity; the right time for
sending it, so as that it should not clash with
any other's; the right duration! And then His
power, almightiness, tenderness, and patience-how
wonderfully they are developed in sustaining and
comforting us under them! Do you like the
thought? To me it is most precious, and takes me
off self so much, and fixes the eye on God, which is
just what Ineed when suffering presses somewhat sore."
An interval of renewed elasticity was given in




340     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
the month of December.  "This intense cold," she
writes to the Hon. Mrs. C, on Dec. 8, "has
suited me better than the damp; it has quite restored my faculties to me (if I may so speak), and
has wonderfully cheered me up, and filled me with
thankfulness for this unspeakable boon. I just contrived to finish Heb. viii., that it might go to you in
the parcel, and have since been thoroughly delighting
myself in the three next chapters, which, after much
thought, I seem to see my way into."
An interesting glimpse into her sick-chamber
occurs in a brief note from one of her sisters, dated
Dec. 12 (1853): "Dearest Adelaide is shut up
here, living chiefly in her own two rooms, but
coming down stairs for a change every day.  She
has failed ever since last March, and was apparently
altering fast in October, when the idea which had
been entertained of going to Torquay was abandoned,
because the medical opinion was that she was unable
to travel.  She was beautifully acquiescent in the
decision to remain; indeed, her state of mind may
be called'heavenly:' it is so far above any that I
ever saw in any other dear Christian friend, that I
cannot but feel it is possible she may be thus rapidly
maturing for an approaching removal to a holier atmosphere-this is so unlike all she is and tall she
feels now! But lately she has seemed to rally, and
to employ herself so diligently, that perhaps she has
yet more work to do for Jesus; and if so, she will
have strength to do it. Her light is most clear and
beautiful amongst us: she only seeks Jesus' glory in
life or in death."




CHAPTER XXI.
"THIs," said a dying saint, " is heaven begun. I
have done with darkness for ever, for ever. Satan is
vanquished.  Nothing now  remains but salvation
with eternal glory-eternal glory!"
"The celestial city," said Payson, on his deathbed,
"is full in view: its glories beam upon me; its
breezes fan me; its odours are wafted to me; its
music strikes upon me; and its spirit breathes into
my heart: nothing separates me from  it but the
river of death, which now appears as a narrow rill
that may be crossed at a single step whenever God
gives me permission."
We are now to enter dear Adelaide's dying chamber; and we shall find it, not sombre, but illumined
with a shechinah-glory.
"What have I left, that I should stay and groan?
The most of me to heaven is fled;
My thoughts and joys are all pack'd up and gone,
And for their old acquaintance plead."
One of her sisters writes: "For four or five months,
she might almost be said to be dying."
The last day she ever got downstairs was one
morning (January 3) when she hurried after a friend
29*




342    MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
with a parcel which she was anxious should not be
forgotten.  "The effort," says her sister, "was to her
very great; and the exposure to the cold on. that
bitter day, as she passed down the staircase into the
hall, was a real sacrifice.  She regained her room
only with distressing difficulty-her breathing was
so painful, and her whole system so affected by the
cold air."
In her Diary we find the following brief entries:
"Jan. 1 (1854). Very ill.'Lord, I believe;'-my
text for the year(?)"  "Jan. 16. Dr.    told me
all the acute symptoms were much increased." "Jan.
23. Saw Dr. —. I asked him if it was right to
let them  think I was dying; and his reply was,'There is active disease now,' adding that he did not
think my having rallied before, any pledge of my doing so again, but the contrary, because, each attack,
it became more difficult. Solemn to be really told
it!"  "Jan. 31. Was enabled to write out Heb. ix.
11-14. G      promised to undertake my Scripturereader!'Begone unbelief!"' "Feb. 2. Saw Dr.: —       felt much better; and he said I had gained
some ground."  "Feb. 11. M      came to see me.
How much happier we both seemed than the last
time! God be praised for it, and for leading us on,
even though it be through the great and terrible
depths of the wilderness."
And again': "Feb. 17. Wrote to Dr. Bonar, consenting that Hebrews should be begun to be printed
immediately."  " Feb. 19. Was enabled in the afternoon to write He'). ix. 15-20.  May God accept and




I'DEATH  LEFT BEHIND.'7            343
bless it!  A  very bad night."  "Feb. 23. Very
poorly; could do nothing all day." "'March 1. My
thirtieth birthday." " March 6. Saw Dr.   - again;
he said I was not so well: a very poor day." "cfMarch
9. Saw Dr.  -; but he could do nothing more
for me."  "2larch 28. Saw Dr.  -, who evidently
thinks me going off very decidedly." "M~arch 31.
Received the first proof-sheet of Hebrews.  The
Lord make it all His own!"  "_April 12. My difficulty of breathing very great all this week, day and
night."  "April 13. Received third proof-sheet, to.
chap. ii. 3." "April 14. Received fourth proof-sheet,
to chap. iii. 1."
Lord Bacon has remarked that "there is no passion in the mind of man so weak but it mates and
masters the fear of death. Revenge triumphs over
death; love slights it; honour aspireth to it; grief
flieth to it; fear pre-occupieth it." In a sense which
Bacon did not personally know, dear Adelaide " mastered" the last enemy.  " I feel," she writes to Mrs.
C — W -—., "as if it would be quite impossible
to express the change which is come over me in
thinking of death. It used to be my favourite subject. But now it seems not worth a thought. In.
deed, I quite dislike it, not from any fear of it, but
from a kind of feeling that it is one of the things a
Christian has left behind. No-that does not express it, for it is still to come. But I mean. that we
have actually got the victory over it in Jesus. And
I think, as one realizes union with Him, one feels to
have done with it in Him, and that the circum.




344     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
stances attending death need not be anticipated
one whit more than those of any other trial which
may or may not be' on the morrow.' And there
seems to me such extraordinary liberty and happiness in this. I would anticipate nothing, but rejoice in the present privileges of my inheritance,
so far as I am enabled to do so, from moment to
moment."
Meanwhile, she left not an instant unused in finishing- her work of service. "I have thought of you
very often," she writes, for example, to one whom
she felt she had not tenderly enough warned, " since
the few words I had with you the last day I saw you.
If you remember, -you were just telling me how
afraid you were to die, when I was called away.
Have you ever closely asked yourself what makes you
afrtaid? I can remember the time when I was so
much afraid of dying that I often dared not go to
sleep at night lest I should not live till the morning.
But during the last five or six years, and often when
I have been apparently on the very brink of the
grave, I felt no fear at all. Quite the contrary; I
longed to die! Now you can surely guess what made
this change in me. Once outside, now in Christ!
There is no real happiness until we have gone and
told God all we feel and all we are, and asked Him
to cover our nakedness and to wash us in the blood
of Jesus. I long for you to be truly happy. Pray
to be hid in Jesus. You have beautiful time for
praying, when you sit alone with God in that nice
little room. Oh! what a happy room it might be to




"SINK INTO  CHRIST."             345
you, if Jesus were with you there! I pray that He
may be. Join me in praying yourself also; then, if
two'agree,' see Matt. xviii. 19."
And to another she writes, in a different strain:
"You cannot think how much I prized your visit.
We thought and spoke together of Him whose name
we love and fear; and I have not a doubt He looked
on, and loved to be so remembered in this Godforgetting world. You know I always like to think
of His pleasures, and rather to draw mine from them
than to make mine the chief thing."  "Is not the
Potter and the clay," she adds, reverting  to  a
figure formerly named, "a comforting thought, in
all ways  for not only does it put us in our right
place as helpless clay in the Potter's hand, but it
gives one such confidence in all He does with us;
because, of course, IHe will fashion us so as to get
Himself most glory by us.  And with such an
object in view, one feels so sure that His designs
for each vessel must be so full of exquisite beauty,
displaying such exquisite skill. And there is something so very sweet in the feeling that we can be
made use of to exhibit the beauty of His workmanship. May you often be enabled to pray for your
poor, weak, worthless friend, and yet a sister in
God's family, where all is royalty, splendour, and
might i"
Her bodily weakness became at times so oppressive to her that she could scarcely even bear to be
prayed with.  "' I can sink into Christ," she said on
one of those occasions, " though I cannot rise to Him."




346     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
And another day, when she had not strength to
pray alone, she whispered, "Yet it comes to me!"
And again, one night, as she was suffering great
pain in her chest, and was almost overwhelmed by
nausea and a " distracting headache," she mildly whispered-" But you know JEsvs prays."
"The way," says one of her sisters, " in which she
used at this time to name His name, conveyed to me
far more than I had ever heard her say about Him
before; she seemed always conscious that Hie was
close to her-almost abstracted from every one besides-in some unknown way (to me) filled with
Him, filled by Him, and that so continuously that
literally she'lacked nothing.' The impression on
my own mind is most vivid, though I know I cannot
in the least convey it to others;-it was not that she
spoke about it, for literally she had not breath to
speak with, it being only occasionally that she talked
whole sentences at'once-but she really seemed entirely absorbed with HIM-Jesus was her' all in all.'"
A new radiance, quiet and still like the setting
sun, appeared to rest now upon passages of the Word
which before had been wrapt, even to her eye, in a
kind of mist. " Bright," they seemed,
"As the glimpses of eternity,
To saints accorded in their dying hour."
Oh! how very, very little," she said, one day (Jan.
19), "friends are to us in the matter of dying! It is
so exclusively betwixt God and the soul. I am so
enveloped just now in that bright' cloud' " (alluding




CHRISTIAN  AND  HOPEFUL.    347
to Heb. xii. 1) —" so realizing the being' encompassed'
by it-so enjoying the thought that Jesus is the SuN
which sheds on it all its brightness!"
And, on another occasion: " I have been thinking
of the Melchizedec priesthood, and have found it such
a rich'feast of fat things!' That word-' which
passeth not from one to another' (marg. Hleb. vii. 24)
-is so dear to me; it shows that our tale, being once
told to Jesus, has never to be told again to a stranger!"
And then, after a pause, she added: "It is always
the same heart of love which listens and intercedes.
And, of course, the oftener we go to Him, the better
we can appreciate the value of the assurance that His
priesthood passes not into other hands."
The Pilgrim, in his struggle through the " black
river," " cried out to his friend Hopeful,'I sink in
deep waters.' " Dear Adelaide, during these months,
was not without tasting this trial.  "I cannot help
telling  you," she writes, in a brief note, "'how
despondency has been trying me; for I know you
will ask that the temptation may be taken away. I
think it is plain that Satan has been taking advantage of my weakness; and I feel as if I could not
help turning to you, as the only friend to whom I
can unburden this particular trial, to ask your kind
help in prayer. I always feel that to be spoken for
to God is more than all besides."
When the Pilgrim was trembling, Hopeful exclaimed, " Be of good cheer, my brother; I feel the
bottom, and it is good." Dear Adelaide was never
without "feeling the bottom."  In a pencil-note to




848    ANMEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
the Hon. Mrs. C —, Jan. 19, she says: " I really
am too ill just now to write or read or think; but I
must make the effort to undeceive you about my
state of mind-it never was so low, so unable to
enter at all'into the sanctuary above.' No; I have
had the full persuasion that God was unchangeable
in all His feelings to me, though all mine to Him
seem at an end. You little know how sorely unbelief tries me; but I suppose it is through these
very depths of anguish that we learn most-and,
therefore, while we cry,'0 wretched man that I
am i' we may still be saying,' I thank God through
Jesus Christ.' "
And again: "I quite believe that this spiritual
trial arises fronm bodily health. I feel you do right
to direct me to the temptations of Jesus; for, after
all, satisfying comfort can be found nowhere else.
If there be one subject more than any other which
I long to be helped to prize more, it is the love of
Jesus. And perhaps the study of that love, as you
have so kindly put it before me, may be God's way
of setting me free."
And to another, Jan. 26: "Don't sorrow, dearest
friend. When faith is lively, there is nothing I so
long for as to be with Jesus-I do so want face to
face communion; but pray for me just now as much
as you can, for I seem to be ascending the mountain
through mists which hide everything. Don't you
know what I mean?"
Light once more arose in the darkness; and, as
often before, it came through the Word.  "I am ha



LIGHT IN TIIE DARKNESS.             349
pier now," she writes, Feb. 2. " I must first tell you,
however, that, for some time past, it has been rather
trying to me not to find anything in the Bible which
quite suited my case. Isa. 1. 10 did not; for I could
not say I had'no light.' Mic. vii. 9 did not; for, in
this particular instance, I had no particular sin with
which to charge myself. Andso on with other similar
texts; whilst I never could, for one moment, believe
that God was hiding His face. I felt I was myself
crushed, and I could not look up. You will believe
therefore, how exactly I found myself described in
Exod. vi. 9-' Moses spake so unto the children of
Israel; but they hearkened not unto Moses for anguish (mary., shortness, or straitness) of spirit and
for cruel bondage.' And then I felt that redemption was only'promised' to them; but for us it is'obtained'-actually, for the soul, and, in Christ, for
the body. And it seemed as if, for the first time,
God had in this trial spoken through His Word
and brought it home. I never am happy till I have
verified my experience by the Word. " She bright,
cued," says her sister, "from that moment."
Another consolation gladdened her.  "This has
sometimes tried and exercised my faith lately," she
writes, on Feb. 10, " why such extremity of suffering must be; but, after all, it brings us into very,
very little fellowship with what Jesus endured.
His sufferings have been quite too much for me at
times lately-I could not read them. I suppose you
never felt that?"  And again: " I have been thinking of those words of His to Zebedee's sons,'Can
30




350     MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTONo.
ye drink of the cup which I drink of?' Oh! dearest
--—, if I have learned but one lesson through this
season of humiliation, it is that I stand from first to
last in what Jesus has done for me.'Thou wilt
keep him in peace-peace, whose mind is stayed on
thee!'"
About the end of February she speaks of being
"wonderfully better," and  of "certainly gaining
strength."  And she hastened to "occupy" the brief
season of respite.  "Whenever she was able to do
so," says her sister,  her book on the Hebrews was
generally her subject.; she reserved all her strength
for that-writing, or correcting what she had previously written, or searching works, especially the
Book. She even gave up almost all correspondence
with fiiends, that her little remaining power to hold
a pen might be devoted to Him  of whom  she felt
that that epistle especially testified."   And, on
Mlarch  14, she herself writes -to the Hon. Mrs.
C, thus: "I thought you would like one line
to know that, in spite of increasing weakness, Heb.
ix. is done and chapter x. begun. I feel it is an effort to do it, but I am anxious to do what I can,
while I can."
One of her earliest labours of love had been the
aiding of the Irish Missions. With that steadfastness of purpose which characterised all her efforts,
she had sustained this agency, year by year, with a
zeal which time only deepened.  "Thank you, a
thousand times," are her closing words regarding it,
"for all your love and thoughts of nle. I have




A BAL L M.                351
been, to my own feelings, at the very point of
death, but just now have rallied again a little, and
seize on the opportunity for sending my money.
Dear G —-- has kindly undertaken the care of my
Scripture-reader (D. v.) for the future. I feel a little,
sending it for the last time-the flesh is so very
weak. But, thank God, I am not so spiritually
crushed and kept down, now that the body is freer
from  pain.  I knew  it was physical depression.
Exod. vi. 9 seemed exactly to suit me. Dr. --
has plainly told me, that with disease so' active' as it
was when he.l,ast tried my chest, it was impossible
to tell how soon it might do its work. I can testify
to GoD's faithfulness throughout, and have only
been crushed through intense weakness and bodily
suffering in myself."
And one or two other messages likewise engaged
her pen.  "I cannot refrain," she writes to Miss
G, March 9, "from trying to send you this
evening a text which has seemed very full of beauty
to me lately, Heb. ix. 24, Christ' appearing' in the
presence of God for us. The Greek is to'appear,
or shew one's-self.' Don't you think there is something very touching in the idea, that it is enough
that Jesus should show Himself to God for us?
That is the idea the words give me; and I have
found it very sweet-as if the sight of Jesus quite
satisfied the Father. And then to feel it is on our
behalf He is there! But I am getting too tired to
write any more, and will only add very fondest love.
Pray for me, that I may not'faint.' 




852    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
And to another, who had been bereaved: "The
expression —be it ever so hasty-of the love and
sympathy which I feel to you and each of you just
now as fellow-members in Christ's body, must not
be withheld, though it be given with all the infirmity of poor frail humanity! Jesus is your real
Fountain of comfort; and friends at best can only be
channels, and rills, and little streams, to convey to
you some of His overflowing,. consolation.  God
Himself bless, and keep, and comfort, and shine
upon you!"
And again to another: "I am anxious to scribble
a few words to you as best I can. When I have
been able, I have been thinking of the New Covenant
-its marvellous perfection, and the very wonderful
state it places us in. If we only believed it, I can
hardly conceive how we could be happier. But it
strikes me now, in getting nearer views of eternity,
how little we know of true simple faith. I can't
express it; but I do so feel it. However, I must
stop:  my writing will show how weak I am 1"
About the middle of March she was once more
prostrated.  " I am again," she writes, " as weak as
I can be. I think I decidedly decline; and my
hopes lessen of any reviving-which I had fancied I
should have liked, if I might have had it, just for a
little while."  And, a few days later, to the Hon.
Mrs. C-:  "The frequent shortness of breath,
which has been more trying me lately, is what chiefly
makes me feel the uncertainty I do about life."
And, again, to another: "My throat has lately be



CON VE RS ATIO N.             353
come extremely painful at times; and I have, in consequence, entirely lost my voice."
"I wish," said a friend who was visiting her one
day, "I could take that pain and suffer it for
you."
"But you know," replied dear Adelaide, with a
smile of patient meekness which her friend says she
never will forget, "you know that if I am to reign
with Jesus, I must be conformed to His image in His
sufferings also and in His death."
She used to lie upon the sofa, with her eyes fixed
upward and her lips moving. Only occasionally she
would whisper some brief word.  "All is bright
yonder!" she said one evening.  The "glory to be
revealed," seemed chiefly to absorb her thoughts.
" Perhaps," was her remark, on another occasion, " as
believers in a coming Redeemer, we ought hardly to
let death dwell on our minds."
"I do not find the same comfort," she said one
morning, " fromn isolated texts as I once did."  " The
last large portion of Scripture which I read to her,"
writes one of her sisters,'was the Book of Deuteronomy, in which she particularly delighted.  As I
was reading it this last time, she seemed to'revel'
(as she used to express it) in the view of God's character which she always gained from it. If I paused
at any particular verse, she would inquire why that
single sentence arrested me, and would add —'You
should look' at the grand whole.'"
At intervals she revived a little, and was able to
enter into a whispering conversation. " His dealings
30*




354    MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
with me are so mysterious," she said on one of those
occasions, "so unlike anything I ever anticipated!
He keeps me in such perfect peace! I can only
think of the words,' He shall carry the lambs in His
bosom'-lift them  up, and take them  quite out, of
reach of the wolf, so that they shall not even hear
his roaring."
And, another time, she said; " It is wonderful how
little I have been tempted by Satan. But the Lord' stayeth His rough wind in the day of His east wind:'
when there is great bodily suffering, He does not let
Satan harass me."
In one of her last brief notes, she wrote to the
Hion. Mrs. C-    thus: " I hope you have got
your Hebrew Bible, or, at all events, your German,
and will enrich me with some of the exquisite
things you get out of it. I should like to send you
those words to think of-' Making melody in your
heart to the Lord.' How sweet the occupation of
singing to Him! (Ps. cv. 2)-and it just occurs to
me how nice an opportunity you and -.- have got
for it, whilst shut out from more active service. It
is the greatest comfort to me often to feel sure it is
fragrant to Jesus. Will you give Eph. i. 12 to 
from me? It is such a precious verse for a sickroom; for, when we can absolutely neither write,
nor speak, nor work at anything, we are'to'the
praise of His glory' still, whilst lying'trusting in
Christ.' "
And in another note she bids a touching farewell
to a humble saint, thus: —




A FAREWELL.                  355' MY DEAREST M,
"I must say good-bye in writing, as it is so impossible for us now to meet in the flesh.  What a
wonderful thing our union is in the True Vine!
Oh, that we may get daily closer together in Jesus!
Does He not seem to you every day to be more and
more your'All and in all 2' —the Beloved on whom
we lean every step of our way in coming up from the
wilderness.
"'I travel through a desert drear and wild,
Yet is my heart with such sweet thoughts beguiled
Of Him on whom I lean —my strength, my stay,
I can forget the sorrows of the way.'
It really does put sad and gloomy thoughts quite
away, to realize tke presence of hIim whom our soul
loveth.
"I was thinking to-day of Cant. viii. 14, and
especially of'the mountains of spices.' It appears
to me as if that verse implied, that it is when we
are highest and farthest up the mountains, earthly
things look so small (as they gradually recede from
our sight) that at length the only object we seem to
care about is seeing Jesus again! They are mountains of spices, full of sweetness; but still we are
not satisfied until we awake after His likeness, and
see Him  face to face! Will you constantly pray
that I may be ever ready to meet. my precious
Saviour when the appointed time comes, and'be
found of Him in peace, without spot and blameless l' The verse I will specially ask you to plead




356     MEMOIR  OF A, L. NEWTON.
for me is 1 Thess. v. 23, that I may be'preserved
blameless' l-ept fromn falfing, or from growing cold
or languid.
"Oh! may the Spirit of our God take some live
coals from  off the altar, and set our hearts on fire
with love to Jesus!
"Ever, my dearest M —, your own affectionate
sister in Him,
"A. L. NEWTON."
About four, one morning, three weeks or so before
her death, she was talkino with one of her sisters about
the ways of the Lord towards her.  "Do you think
you must go?" she said, as her sister was leaving,
afraid of her exhausting herself.  "I have been so
little able to talk lately, that it is quite a pleasure.
But the pain has been so intense.  Oh! there is
something so inconceivably precious in the firm conviction, that, as to one's safety, it is all done! When
you draw near, or feel drawing near, to the end, it is
nothing but the great foundation-realities of the Gospel which will do-one seems to care about nothing
else; it is just Christ's finished work, nothing else,
which will satisfy you then."
"I got up again to go," says her sister, " for she
coughed so sadly; and though it was hard to tear
one's-self away, I thought it cruel to stay. But she
almost kept me, saying,' There is something so unspeakably precious in speaking of HIM we love, remembering Hinm in the night-watches.'"
It is recorded of Legh Richmond, that, the last




"RO CK-LIKE  PEACE.'?            357
fortnight of his life, he "was very silent, and appeared constantly in prayer and meditation, waiting
his dismissal and the end of his earthly pilgrimage.
Nothing seemed to disturb him, and he seemed to
realize that blessed word,'Thou wilt keep him in
perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee.'" Very
similar was the closing fortnight of dear Adelaide's
course.  "It looked like heaven," says one of her
sisters.  "She seemed already there in spirit though
treading our vale of tears. There was nothing of triumph: but such solid, rock-like peace I scarcely hope
ever to see again. As I used to close her room-door
and sit silently beside her, she little able to speak, or
even to listen to speaking or reading, yet'looking
heaven'-I could not but feel that we were three,
and Jesus inll our midst.' IHim! Him!' she once
said, alluding to Rev. i. 5, 6, which I had begun to
quote,'I cannot get any further-that is enoughHIM 1'"
One of those mornings, very early, she lay, with a
happy smile on her worn countenance, meditating
on the chapter (Tit. iii.) which had been read to her
the previous evening.  "''According to His mercy
He saved us,"' she slowly repeated twice, alluding
to v. 5; "' According to His mercy He saved us.'
If I can say no more, angels and devils too shall hear
me say,'Mercy! mercy! According to His mercy
He saved us!'"
A few days before he died, Payson-himself also
enduring extreme bodily suffering-said: " My God
is in this room. I see Him! Oh! how lovely is the




368     MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON.
sight i how glorious does He appear! worthy of ten
thousand hearts, if I had so many to give i"  Dear
Adelaide " seemed now quite willing," says her sister,
"to relinquish seeing ministers and Christian friends,
or getting letters, though formerly all the three had
been helps she felt solitary without. The Lord's Person seemed wholly to absorb her, as if she saw Him,
heard Him, lived with Him. Certainly He was not
only far dearer, but appeared to be nearer, to her
than were any of us."
On a Saturday night (April 15), about ten days
previous to her departure, one of her sisters, who was
sitting up in the adjoining room (for Adelaide always
preferred being alone), went in to mend her fire.
" What thought have you had," whispered Adelaide, observing her, "which makes you look so
happy?"
"That word in the 65th Psalm,'Praise waiteth
for thee, 0 Lord, in Sion."'
"Oh! I remember your thoughts about Sunday
always. I hope you will have a very happy one tomorrow."
The next evening, on her sister's return from
church, the thought seemed fresh in her mind. "I
have been meditating so much all day," she said,
" on that precious Psalm!"
"Don't you think," asked the other, "that its full
meaning, especially verses 1 and 4, never can be
realized here? Glimpses we may have; but'praise
waits,' does it not?"
"Yes," said Adelaide, turning her bright eye up



"HI HE R UP."               359
wards; "we must go higher up to know what it is to
be'satisfied' with the goodness of His house."
"How glorious it will be to have Jesus'declaring'
His Father's' name' to us! Mall spoils it so."
"Yes," was her reply; " and the Hebrew is very
striking; it is,'He reckons up-enters into the minutest details;' and He will' praise in the midst of
the congregation.' It will not be long, G —, before He comes again, and with our bodies, knowing
each other, we shall stand there."
The same evening, her mother " enjoyed a most
delightful conversation with her." Few words she
was able to utter; and these few only in a whisper.
" Dear mamma," she said at its close, "here is my
parting gift to you-' For one look to self, take ten
of Jesus.'"
A day or two afterwards, one of her sisters was
reading to her the 90th Psalm.  "Alluding," says
her sister, "to v. 8, which we had talked over seven
years before, she asked if I had made up my mind
about it. Then, passing to v. 17, and slowly repeating the words-' And let the beauty of the Lord
our God be upon us,' she said,'What a sublime
prayer! how unlike it ours are!'"
Another morning, the sister who used always to
take up her breakfast, found her deeply affected.
"It is only the parting from all you dear creatures,"
she said, wiping the tear from her eye.  "But never
mind," she added, a few moments afterwards, with a
brightening smile, "this corruption must put on incorruption."




360    MEMOIR OF A. L.. NEWTON.
The following Friday (April 21), the Rev. Mr.
Dallas (of Wbnston) came from Hull to see her.
Naming some features of death, he inquired if the
near prospect of it troubled her. " Oh!" she replied, turning her eye towards him and sweetly smiling, "there are many things about it which I shrink
from; but, you know, I need not look at them."
"He told me," says her sister, " that nothing would
ever efface from his memory the impression of that
brief visit-scarcely ever had he witnessed such maturity of faith and of love." And her mother adds:
" He was much affected, and said how much he rejoiced that he had come."
The last Sabbath of her life was one of great
agony. In the morning, she had been jotting down
in pencil some thoughts on Heb. xi. 1, 2-intending
it for her book then passing through the press; and,
on her sister's return from morning-service, she had
put a "small piece of paper" into her hand, saying
eagerly, " I want you to tell me what you think of
it." In the afternoon, she was seized with a violent
cramp.  " She was in great suffering," says her
sister; "but not a word or look of impatience then
or at any other time escaped her." And another
sister says: " Three times that afternoon and evening, she told me of her thankfulness in being kept
from any spiritual clouds."
"Affliction is ours," says Herbert, speaking of the
family-discipline"We are the trees whom shaking fastens more,
While blust'ring winds destroy the wanton bowers,




THE SILENT TEAR.               386
And ruffle all their curious knots and store.
My God, so temper joy and woe,
That thy bright beams may tame thy bow."
Dear Adelaide's "woe," arising from extreme bodily
suffering, was indeed "tempered" with a heavenly
" joy."  "As I watched her from day to day," says
her sister, "I felt quite overcome, to see how she
literally rejoiced in the tribulation of body which
Jesus had appointed for her. A silent tear was the
only expression of pain which ever came from her.
I was really astonished at the long-continued grace
she manifested in this particular, and could only
glorify God in her, being often reminded of the
remarks she used to make about Phil. i. 29, how it
is'given' to the believer'in the behalf of Christ'
to suffer for His sake.'A gift' she would say,
6a gift!' and she did indeed accept it with a loving,
acquiescing heart-a will which delighted in His
will-so that the common term of' resignation' had
really in her case no meaning."
Her patience appeared also in another trial. "All
through her illness," her sister says, "she had been
so independent of help that she would let nothing of
any kind be done for her, however costly the struggle
which enabled her to do it for herself. But when at
last she could struggle no more and she was obliged
to be helped as you would help an infant, she never
uttered anything like complaint, but most humbly,
and gratefully, and lovingly accepted our services."
"Ah!" she would say, with a kindly smile, to the
faithful old family-nurse, as she was washing her or
31




362     MEMOIR OF A. L. NEWTON.
doing any other act of service, " a cup of cold water
shall in no wise lose its reward."
On the Monday afternoon, she asked her sister to
read the second chapter of Malachi. " I rather wondered," says the latter; "but, not liking to make her
speak, I began to read, when she half looked up and
said,'I meant the third.' And that was the last
portion," her sister adds, "of her precious companion which I ever enjoyed with her. For three
weeks she had scarcely ever been able to read it for
herself; but often I was struck by the eager way in
which her bright eye followed it, if, when trying to
place her food or medicine conveniently near to her,
I ever moved it even a very little further off than
where she had put it."
The next forenoon, after a few minutes' sleep, she
said, "I will get up; I think I can write some more
of' Hebrews;' my mind is so full; give me mny Bible." And for a little she sat with her pencil in her
hand, but unable from exhaustion to put it to paper.
A faintness, however, came on; and, after another
short sleep, she awoke with an excruciating pain in
her head. At four P.M. this gave way to a distressing convulsion, which "gave us all (says her sister),
as we gathered round her, the feeling that death had
seized her." For about twenty minutes her distress
was agonizing; yet " even with the grasp of that
iron hand upon her (her sister adds), her expression
of countenance never altered in the least, nor did
her consciousness leave her for a moment."
The physician came in, and administered some




DISMISSAL.                 363
medicine; and the violence of the spasms subsided.
As he retired, she said to one of her sisters, "I
have just been asking Dr. -     how long he thinks
I may continue in this state; and he told me it
could not be long." " For your sake," said the
other, "I cannot wish it should be."  "I," Adelaide replied, " have no wish about it."
A little before eight she was lifted into bed, thanking those around her for their tender care. About
nine, it seemed as if the painful struggle were
again coming on; and she begged that the physician
might be called, saying,'"Surely the bitterness of
death is past!" But she was spared any further
conflict. Till four in the morning she was still and
calm-not utterino' a word, though apparently quite
conscious. At length her happy spirit was evidently
departing. " As she leaned against the pillows which
supported her," says her sister, " I fancied she would
have spoken to us, had she been spoken to; but no
one broke the solemn silence." A smile of heavenly
peace rested on her pale face-when, about five,
her breathing ceased so insensibly, that not till the
physician who supported her had said, "She is here
no longer," did those around her know that she had
gone to be with the Lord.
It was on April 26, 1854, and as she had just
completed her thirtieth year.
"I bless thee," said Polycarp, as he stood at the
stake, "that thou hast counted me worthy of this
day and of this hour, to receive my portion in the




364     MEMOIR  OF A. L. NEWTON,
number of the martyrs, in the cup of Christ."  Dear
Adelaide Newton had  now  finished her "living
martyrdom," and finished right worthily.
Lord Bacon has remarked that, "when a man has
obtained worthy ends and expectations, the sweetest
canticle is,'Nune dimittis.'" Beloved Adelaide is
gone upward, solaced by this canticle. " Yet a little
while," and she shall receive her crown, which the
Lord, the righteous Judge, shall give to her "at
that day."
Our sister's fight is over,
Her arduous race is run;'Twas by TuS grace and power
The prize of life she won.
Soon wilt THOU come in glory,
With all thy Church to shine,
Our bodies raised in honour
And beauty, Lord, like thine
Then, then, we'll shout still louder
The song which now we singO grave, where is thy victory?
O death, where is thy sting?
THE END.




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HOWARD (John); or, the Prison World of Europe. 16mo....    75
1IOWELL'S Life-Perfect Peace. 18mo......................    80
ROWE'S Redeemer's Tears. 18mo...........................    50
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INFAIT'S Progress. 18mo.  Illustrated.....................    50
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Christian Progress.  18mo...........................    30
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By the same Author.
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iCARLTERS    U PUBLIC ATIONSS.                       7
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MOORE (Rev. T. V.) Com, on Haggai, Zechariah and MalachLi




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Young Man's Closet Library......................... 75




CARTERS' PUBLICATIONS.                             9
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10            CARTERS' PUBLICATIONS.
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CARTERS' PUBLICATIONS.                              11
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12          CARTERS' PUBLICATIONS.
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Observer. 18mo............................... 30
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THE FIRESIDE SER IES.
A Series of beautiful volumes of the Narrative kind, uniform in binding, and prettily Illustrated. 18mo. Price 50 cents each.
ThefolloQving are now readey:
MABEL GRANT. A Highland Story.
THE WOODCUTTER OF LEBANON.
LOUIS AND FRANK.
CLARA STANLEY. A Story for Girls.
THE CLAREMONT TALES.
THE CONVENT. By Miss M'Crindell.
FAR OFF. By the author of the " Peep of Day."
NEAR HOMIE. By the same author.
HAPPY HOME. By Dr. Hamilton.
JAMIE GORDON; or, the Orphan.
THE CHILDREN OF THE MANSE. By Mrs. Dunce
TALES OF THE SCOTTISH PEASANTRY.
SCHOOL DAYS AND COMPANIONS.
THE INDIAN TRIBES OF GUIANA.
HOLIDAY HOUSE. By Miss Sinclair.
OLIVE LEAVES. By Mrs. Sigourney.
BROTHER AND SISTER.
POLLOK'S TALES OF THE COVENANTERS.
THE RAINBOW IN THE NORTH.
THE INFANT'S PROGRESS. By Mrs. Sherwood.
THE WORLD OF WATERS.
BLOSSOMS OF CHILDHOOD.
MAY DUNDAS. A Tale.
ABBEOKIUTA; or, Sunrise in the Tropics.
THE FAMILY AT HEATHERDALE.